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diff --git a/old/60901-8.txt b/old/60901-8.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 858964d..0000000 --- a/old/60901-8.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,9970 +0,0 @@ -Project Gutenberg's The Vanished Pomps of Yesterday, by Frederic Hamilton - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: The Vanished Pomps of Yesterday - Being Some Random Reminiscences of a British Diplomat - -Author: Frederic Hamilton - -Release Date: January 15, 2020 [EBook #60901] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE VANISHED POMPS OF YESTERDAY *** - - - - -Produced by Al Haines - - - - - - - - -THE VANISHED POMPS OF YESTERDAY - - - - - _By - Lord Frederic Hamilton_ - - THE VANISHED POMPS OF YESTERDAY - THE DAYS BEFORE YESTERDAY - HERE, THERE AND EVERYWHERE - - _George H. Doran Company - New York_ - - - - - THE VANISHED POMPS - OF YESTERDAY - - BEING - - _Some Random Reminiscences of a - British Diplomat_ - - - BY - LORD FREDERIC HAMILTON - - Author of "Here, There and Everywhere," "The Days - Before Yesterday," etc., etc. - - - - A New and Revised Edition - - - - NEW YORK - GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY - - - - - COPYRIGHT, 1921 - BY GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY - - - - PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA - - - - - TO - EMILY LADY AMPTHILL - MY FIRST CHEFESSE - WITH EVER-GRATEFUL RECOLLECTIONS - OF HER KINDNESS - - - - -FOREWORD - -TO THE SECOND EDITION - -The account of the boating accident at Potsdam on page 75, differs in -several particulars from the story as given in the original edition. -These alterations have been made at the special request of the lady -concerned, who tells me that my recollections of her story were at -fault as regards several important details. There are also a few -verbal alterations in the present edition. - - - - -CONTENTS - -CHAPTER I - -Special Mission to Rome--Berlin in process of transformation--Causes -of Prussian militarism--Lord and Lady Ampthill--Berlin -Society--Music-lovers--Evenings with Wagner--Aristocratic -Waitresses--Rubinstein's rag-time--Liszt's -opinions--Bismarck--Bismarck's classification of -nationalities--Bismarck's sons--Gustav Richter--The Austrian -diplomat--The old Emperor--His defective articulation--Other -Royalties--Beauty of Berlin Palace--Description of interior--The -Luxembourg--"Napoleon III"--Three Court beauties--The pugnacious -Pages--"Making the Circle"--Conversational difficulties--An -ecclesiastical gourmet--The Maharajah's mother - - -CHAPTER II - -Easy-going Austria--Vienna--Charm of town--A little piece of -history--International families--Family -pride--"Schlüssel-Geld"--Excellence of Vienna restaurants--The origin -of "_Croissants_"--Good looks of Viennese women--Strauss's -operettas--A ball in an old Vienna house--Court entertainments--The -Empress Elisabeth--Delightful environs of Vienna--The Berlin Congress -of 1878--Lord Beaconsfield--M. de Blowitz--Treaty telegraphed to -London--Environs of Berlin--Potsdam and its lakes--The bow-oar of the -Embassy "four"--Narrow escape of ex-Kaiser--The Potsdam -palaces--Transfer to Petrograd--Glamour of Russia--An evening with -the Crown Prince at Potsdam - - -CHAPTER III - -The Russian frontier--Frontier police--Disappointment at aspect of -Petrograd--Lord and Lady Dufferin--The British Embassy--St. Isaac's -Cathedral--Beauty of Russian Church-music--The Russian language--The -delightful "Blue-stockings" of Petrograd--Princess Chateau--Pleasant -Russian Society--The Secret Police--The Countess's hurried -journey--The Yacht Club--Russians really Orientals--Their -limitations--The "Intelligenzia"--My Nihilist friends--Their lack of -constructive power--Easter Mass at St. Isaac's--Two comical -incidents--The Easter supper--The red-bearded young Priest--An Empire -built on shifting sand - - -CHAPTER IV - -The Winter Palace--Its interior--Alexander II--A Russian Court -Ball--The "Bals des Palmiers"--The Empress--The blessing of the -Neva--Some curiosities of the Winter Palace--The great Orloff -diamond--My friend the Lady-in-Waiting--Sugared Compensations--The -attempt on the Emperor's life of 1880--Some unexpected finds in the -Palace--A most hilarious funeral--Sporting expeditions--Night drives -through the forest in mid-winter--Wolves--A typical Russian -village--A peasant's house--"Deaf and dumb people"--The inquisitive -peasant youth--Curiosity about strangers--An embarrassing -situation--A still more awkward one--Food difficulties--A bear -hunt--My first bear--Alcoholic consequences--My liking for the -Russian peasant--The beneficent india-rubber Ikon--Two curious -sporting incidents--Village habits--The great gulf between Russian -nobility and peasants - - -CHAPTER V - -The Russian Gipsies--Midnight drives--Gipsy singing--Its -fascination--The consequences of a late night--An unconventional -luncheon--Lord Dufferin's methods--Assassination of Alexander -II--Stürmer--Pathetic incidents in connection with the murder of the -Emperor--The funeral procession and service--Details concerning--The -Votive Church--The Order of the Garter--Unusual incidents at the -Investiture--Precautions taken for Emperor's safety--The Imperial -train--Finland--Exciting salmon-fishing there--Harraka -Niska--Koltesha--Excellent shooting there--Ski-running--"Ringing the -game in"--A wolf-shooting party--The obese General--Some incidents--A -novel form of sport--Black game and capercailzie--At dawn in a -Finnish forest--Immense charm of it--Ice-hilling or "Montagnes -Russes"--Ice-boating on the Gulf of Finland - - -CHAPTER VI - -Love of Russians for children's games--Peculiarities of Petrograd -balls--Some famous beauties of Petrograd Society--The varying garb of -hired waiters--Moscow--Its wonderful beauty--The forest of domes--The -Kremlin--The three famous "Cathedrals"--The Imperial Treasury--The -Sacristy--The Palace--Its splendour--The Terem--A Gargantuan Russian -dinner--An unusual episode at the French Ambassador's -ball--Bombs--Tsarskoe Selo--Its interior--Extraordinary collection of -curiosities in Tsarskoe Park--Origin of term "Vauxhall" for railway -station in Russia--Peterhof--Charm of park there--Two Russian -illusions--A young man of twenty-five delivers an Ultimatum to -Russia--How it came about--M. de Giers--Other Foreign -Ministers--Paraguay--The polite Japanese dentist--A visit to -Gatchina--Description of the Palace--Delights of the children's -playroom there - - -CHAPTER VII - -Lisbon--The two Kings of Portugal, and of Barataria--King Fernando -and the Countess--A Lisbon bull-fight--The "hat-trick"--Courtship -window-parade--The spurred youth of Lisbon--Portuguese -politeness--The De Reszke family--The Opera--Terrible personal -experiences in a circus--The bounding Bishop--Ecclesiastical -possibilities--Portuguese coinage--Beauty of Lisbon--Visits of the -British Fleet--Misguided midshipman--The Legation Whale-boat--"Good -wine needs no bush"--A delightful orange-farm--Cintra--Contrast -between the Past and Present of Portugal - - -CHAPTER VIII - -Brazil--Contrast between Portuguese and Spanish South -America--Moorish traditions--Amazing beauty of Rio de Janeiro--Yellow -fever--The commercial Court Chamberlain--The Emperor Pedro--The -Botanical Gardens of Rio--The quaint diversions of Petropolis--The -liveried young entomologist--Buenos Ayres--The charm of the -"Camp"--Water throwing--A British Minister in Carnival-time--Some -Buenos Ayres peculiarities--Masked balls--Climatic -conditions--Theatres--Restaurants--Wonderful bird-life of the -"Camp"--Estancia Negrete--Duck-shooting--My one flamingo--An -exploring expedition in the Gran Chaco--Hardships--Alligators and -fish--Currency difficulties - - -CHAPTER IX - -Paraguay--Journey up the river--A primitive Capital--Dick the -Australian--His polychrome garb--A Paraguayan Race Meeting--Beautiful -figures of native women--The "Falcon" adventurers--A quaint -railway--Patiño Cué--An extraordinary household--The capable -Australian boy--Wild life in the swamps--"Bushed"--A literary -evening--A railway record--The Tigre midnight -swims--Canada--Maddening flies--A grand salmon-river--The Canadian -backwoods--Skunks and bears--Different views as to industrial progress - - -CHAPTER X - -Former colleagues who have risen to -eminence--Kiderlin-Waechter--Aehrenthal--Colonel Klepsch--The -discomfiture of an inquisitive journalist--Origin of certain Russian -scares--Tokyo--Dulness of Geisha dinners--Japanese culinary -curiosities--"Musical Chairs"--Lack of colour in Japan--The Tokugawa -dynasty--Japanese Gardens--The transplanted suburban Embassy -house--Cherry-blossom--Japanese politeness--An unfortunate incident -in Rome--Eastern courtesy--The country in Japan--An Imperial -duck-catching party--An up-to-date Tokyo house--A Shinto -Temple--Linguistic difficulties at a dinner-party--The economical -colleague--Japan defaced by advertisements - - -CHAPTER XI - -Petrograd through middle-aged eyes--Russians very constant -friends--Russia an Empire of shams--Over-centralisation in -administration--The system hopeless--A complete change of scene--The -West Indies--Trinidad--Personal character of Nicholas II--The weak -point in an Autocracy--The Empress--An opportunity missed--The Great -Collapse--Terrible stories--Love of human beings for ceremonial--Some -personal apologies--Conclusion - - -Index - - - - - THE VANISHED POMPS OF - YESTERDAY - - - - - "Lo, all our Pomp of Yesterday - Is one with Ninevah and Tyre!" - --RUDYARD KIPLING - - - - -{13} - - THE VANISHED POMPS - OF YESTERDAY - - -CHAPTER I - -Special Mission to Rome--Berlin in process of transformation--Causes -of Prussian militarism--Lord and Lady Ampthill--Berlin -Society--Music-lovers--Evenings with Wagner--Aristocratic -Waitresses--Rubinstein's rag-time--Liszt's -opinions--Bismarck--Bismarck's classification of -nationalists--Bismarck's sons--Gustav Richter--The Austrian -diplomat--The old Emperor--His defective articulation--Other -Royalties--Beauty of Berlin Palace--Description of interior--The -Luxembourg--"Napoleon III"--Three Court beauties--The pugnacious -Pages--"Making the Circle"--Conversational difficulties--An -ecclesiastical gourmet--The Maharajah's mother. - - -The tremendous series of events which has changed the face of Europe -since 1914 is so vast in its future possibilities, that certain minor -consequences of the great upheaval have received but scant notice. - -Amongst these minor consequences must be included the disappearance -of the Courts of the three Empires of Eastern Europe, Russia, -Germany, and Austria, with all their glitter and pageantry, their -pomp and brilliant _mise-en-scène_. I will hazard no opinion as to -whether the world is the better for their loss or not; I cannot, -though, help {14} experiencing a feeling of regret that this prosaic, -drab-coloured twentieth century should have definitely lost so strong -an element of the picturesque, and should have permanently severed a -link which bound it to the traditions of the mediæval days of -chivalry and romance, with their glowing colour, their splendid -spectacular displays, and the feeling of continuity with a vanished -past which they inspired. - -A tweed suit and a bowler hat are doubtless more practical for -everyday wear than a doublet and trunk-hose. They are, however, -possibly less picturesque. - -Since, owing to various circumstances, I happen from my very early -days to have seen more of this brave show than has fallen to the lot -of most people, some extracts from my diaries, and a few personal -reminiscences of the three great Courts of Eastern Europe, may prove -of interest. - -Up to my twentieth year I was familiar only with our own Court. I -was then sent to Rome with a Special Mission. As King Victor -Emmanuel had but recently died, there were naturally no Court -entertainments. - -The Quirinal is a fine palace with great stately rooms, but it struck -me then, no doubt erroneously, that the Italian Court did not yet -seem quite at home in their new surroundings, and that there was a -subtle feeling in the air of a lack of continuity somewhere. In the -"'seventies" the House of Savoy had only been established for a very -few years in their new capital. The conditions in Rome {15} had -changed radically, and somehow one felt conscious of this. - -Some ten months later, the ordeal of a competitive examination being -successfully surmounted, I was sent to Berlin as Attaché, at the age -of twenty. - -The Berlin of the "'seventies" was still in a state of transition. -The well-built, prim, dull and somewhat provincial _Residenz_ was -endeavouring with feverish energy to transform itself into a -World-City, a _Welt-Stadt_. The people were still flushed and -intoxicated with victory after victory. In the seven years between -1864 and 1871 Prussia had waged three successful campaigns. The -first, in conjunction with Austria, against unhappy little Denmark in -1864; then followed, in 1866, the "Seven Weeks' War," in which -Austria was speedily brought to her knees by the crushing defeat of -Königgrätz, or Sadowa, as it is variously called, by which Prussia -not only wrested the hegemony of the German Confederation from her -hundred-year-old rival, but definitely excluded Austria from the -Confederation itself. The Hohenzollerns had at length supplanted the -proud House of Hapsburg. Prussia had further virtually conquered -France in the first six weeks of the 1870 campaign, and on the -conclusion of peace found herself the richer by Alsace, half of -Lorraine, and the gigantic war indemnity wrung from France. As a -climax the King of Prussia had, with the consent of the feudatory -princes, been proclaimed German Emperor at Versailles on January 18, -1871, for Bismarck, with all {16} his diplomacy, was unable to -persuade the feudatory kings and princes to acquiesce in the title of -Emperor _of_ Germany for the Prussian King. - -The new Emperor was nominally only _primus Inter Pares_; he was not -to be over-lord. Theoretically the crown of Charlemagne was merely -revived, but the result was that henceforth Prussia would dominate -Germany. This was a sufficient rise for the little State which had -started so modestly in the sandy Mark of Brandenburg (the "sand-box," -as South Germans contemptuously termed it) in the fifteenth century. -To understand the mentality of Prussians, one must realise that -Prussia is the only country _that always made war pay_. She had -risen with marvellous rapidity from her humble beginnings entirely by -the power of the sword. Every campaign had increased her territory, -her wealth, and her influence, and the entire energies of the -Hohenzollern dynasty had been centred on increasing the might of her -army. The Teutonic Knights had wrested East Prussia from the Wends -by the Power of the sword only. They had converted the Wends to -Christianity by annihilating them, and the Prussians inherited the -traditions of the Teutonic Knights. Napoleon, it is true, had -crushed Prussia at Jena, but the latter half of the nineteenth -century was one uninterrupted triumphal progress for her. No wonder -then that every Prussian looked upon warfare as a business -proposition, and an exceedingly paying one at that. Everything about -them had been carefully {17} arranged to foster the same idea. All -the monuments in the Berlin streets were to military heroes. The -marble groups on the Schloss-Brücke represented episodes in the life -of a warrior. The very songs taught the children in the schools were -all militarist in tone: "The Good Comrade," "The Soldier," "The Young -Recruit," "The Prayer during Battle," all familiar to every German -child. When William II, ex-Emperor, found the stately "White Hall" -of the Palace insufficiently gorgeous to accord with his megalomania, -he called in the architect Ihne, and gave directions for a new frieze -round the hall representing "victorious warfare fostering art, -science, trade and industry." I imagine that William in his Dutch -retreat at Amerongen may occasionally reflect on the consequences of -warfare when it is _not_ victorious. Trained in such an atmosphere -from their childhood, drinking in militarism with their earliest -breath, can it be wondered at that Prussians worshipped brute-force, -and brute-force alone? - -Such a nation of heroes must clearly have a capital worthy of them, a -capital second to none, a capital eclipsing Paris and Vienna. -Berliners had always been jealous of Vienna, the traditional -"Kaiser-Stadt." Now Berlin was also a "Kaiser-Stadt," and by the -magnificence of its buildings must throw its older rival completely -into the shade. Paris, too, was the acknowledged centre of European -art, literature, and fashion. Why? The French had proved themselves -a nation of decadents, utterly {18} unable to cope with German might. -The sceptre of Paris should be transferred to Berlin. So building -and renovation began at a feverish rate. - -The open drains which formerly ran down every street in Berlin, -screaming aloud to Heaven during the summer months, were abolished, -and an admirable system of main drainage inaugurated. The appalling -rough cobble-stones, which made it painful even to cross a Berlin -street, were torn up and hastily replaced with asphalte. A French -colleague of mine used to pretend that the cobble-stones had been -designedly chosen as pavement. Berliners were somewhat touchy about -the very sparse traffic in their wide streets. Now one solitary -_droschke_, rumbling heavily over these cobble-stones, produced such -a deafening din that the foreigner was deluded into thinking that the -Berlin traffic rivalled that of London or Paris in its density. - -Berlin is of too recent growth to have any elements of the -picturesque about it. It stands on perfectly flat ground, and its -long, straight streets are terribly wearisome to the eye. Miles and -miles of ornate stucco are apt to become monotonous, even if -decorated with porcelain plaques, glass mosaics, and other -incongruous details dear to the garish soul of the Berliner. In -their rage for modernity, the Municipality destroyed the one -architectural feature of the town. Some remaining eighteenth century -houses had a local peculiarity. The front doors were on the first -floor, and were approached by two steeply inclined planes, locally -known as _die {19} Rampe_. A carriage (with, I imagine, infinite -discomfort to the horses) could just struggle up one of these -_Rampe_, deposit its load, and crawl down again to the street-level. -These inclined planes were nearly all swept away. The _Rampe_ may -have been inconvenient, but they were individual, local and -picturesque. - -I arrived at the age of twenty at this Berlin in active process of -ultra-modernising itself, and in one respect I was most fortunate. - -The then British Ambassador, one of the very ablest men the English -Diplomatic Service has ever possessed, and his wife, Lady Ampthill, -occupied a quite exceptional position. Lord Ampthill was a really -close and trusted friend of Bismarck, who had great faith in his -prescience and in his ability to gauge the probable trend of events, -and he was also immensely liked by the old Emperor William, who had -implicit confidence in him. Under a light and debonair manner the -Ambassador concealed a tremendous reserve of dignity. He was a man, -too, of quick decisions and great strength of character. Lady -Ampthill was a woman of exceptional charm and quick intelligence, -with the social gift developed to its highest point in her. Both the -Ambassador and his wife spoke French, German, and Italian as easily -and as correctly as they did English. The Ambassador was the -_doyen_, or senior member, of the Diplomatic Body, and Lady Ampthill -was the most intimate friend of the Crown Princess, afterwards the -Empress Frederick. - -{20} - -From these varied circumstances, and also from sheer force of -character, Lady Ampthill had become the unchallenged social arbitress -of Berlin, a position never before conceded to any foreigner. As the -French phrase runs, "_Elle faisait la pluie et le beau temps à -Berlin._" - -To a boy of twenty life is very pleasant, and the novel surroundings -and new faces amused me. People were most kind to me, but I soon -made the discovery that many others had made before me, that at the -end of two years one knows Prussians no better than one did at the -end of the first fortnight; that there was some indefinable, -intangible barrier between them and the foreigner that nothing could -surmount. It was not long, too, before I became conscious of the -under-current of intense hostility to my own country prevailing -amongst the "Court Party," or what would now be termed the "Junker" -Party. These people looked upon Russia as their ideal of a Monarchy. -The Emperor of Russia was an acknowledged autocrat; the British -Sovereign a constitutional monarch, or, if the term be preferred, -more or less a figure-head. Tempering their admiration of Russia was -a barely-concealed dread of the potential resources of that mighty -Empire, whose military power was at that period absurdly -overestimated. England did not claim to be a military State, and in -the "'seventies" the vital importance of sea-power was not yet -understood. British statesmen, too, had an unfortunate habit of -indulging in sloppy sentimentalities {21} in their speeches, and the -convinced believers in "Practical Politics" (_Real Politik_) had a -profound contempt (I guard myself from saying an unfounded one) for -sloppiness as well as for sentimentality. - -The Berliners of the "'seventies" had not acquired what the French -term _l'art de vivre_. Prussia, during her rapid evolution from an -insignificant sandy little principality into the leading military -State of Europe, had to practise the most rigid economy. From the -Royal Family downwards, everyone had perforce to live with the -greatest frugality, and the traces of this remained. The "art of -living" as practised in France, England, and even in Austria during -the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries was impossible in Prussia -under the straitened conditions prevailing there, and it is not an -art to be learnt in a day. The small dinner-party, the gathering -together of a few congenial friends, was unknown in Berlin. Local -magnates gave occasionally great dinner-parties of thirty guests or -so, at the grotesque hour of 5 p.m. It seemed almost immoral to -array oneself in a white tie and swallow-tail coat at four in the -afternoon. The dinners on these occasions were all sent in from the -big restaurants, and there was no display of plate, and never a -single flower. As a German friend (probably a fervent believer in -"Practical Politics") said to me, "The best ornament of a -dinner-table is also good food"; nor did the conversation atone by -its brilliancy for the lack of the dainty trimmings which {22} the -taste of Western Europe expects on these occasions. A never-failing -topic of conversation was to guess the particular restaurant which -had furnished the banquet. One connoisseur would pretend to detect -"Hiller" in the soup; another was convinced that the fish could only -have been dressed by "Poppenberg." As soon as we had swallowed our -coffee, we were expected to make our bows and take our leave without -any post-prandial conversation whatever, and at 7 p.m. too! - -Thirty people were gathered together to eat, _weiter nichts_, and, to -do them justice, most of them fulfilled admirably the object with -which they had been invited. The houses, too, were so ugly. No -_objets d'art_, no personal belongings whatever, and no flowers. The -rooms might have been in an hotel, and the occupant of the rooms -might have arrived overnight with one small modest suit-case as his, -or her, sole baggage. There was no individuality whatever about the -ordinary Berlin house, or _appartement_. - -I can never remember having heard literature discussed in any form -whatever at Berlin. For some reason the novelist has never taken -root in Germany. The number of good German novelists could be -counted on the fingers of both hands, and no one seemed interested in -literary topics. It was otherwise with music. Every German is a -genuine music-lover, and the greatest music-lover of them all was -Baroness von Schleinitz, wife of the Minister of the Royal Household. -Hers was {23} a charming house, the stately eighteenth century -_Haus-Ministerium_, with its ornate rococo _Fest-Saal_. In that -somewhat over-decorated hall every great musician in Europe must have -played at some time or other. Baron von Schleinitz was, I think, the -handsomest old man I have ever seen, with delightful old-world -manners. It was a privilege to be asked to Madame de Schleinitz's -musical evenings. She seldom asked more than forty people, and the -most rigid silence was insisted upon; still every noted musician -passing through Berlin went to her house as a matter of course. At -the time of my arrival from England, Madame de Schleinitz had struck -up a great alliance with Wagner, and gave two musical evenings a week -as a sort of propaganda, in order to familiarise Berlin amateurs with -the music of the "Ring." At that time the stupendous Tetralogy had -only been given at Bayreuth and in Munich; indeed I am not sure that -it had then been performed in its entirety in the Bavarian capital. - -In the _Fest-Saal_, with its involved and tortured rococo curves, two -grand pianos were placed side by side, a point Wagner insisted upon, -and here the Master played us his gigantic work. The way Wagner -managed to make the piano suggest brass, strings, or wood-wind at -will was really wonderful. I think that we were all a little puzzled -by the music of the "Ring"; possibly our ears had not then been -sufficiently trained to grasp the amazing beauty of such a subtle web -of harmonies. His {24} playing finished, a small, very -plainly-appointed supper-table was placed in the middle of the -_Fest-Saal_, at which Wagner seated himself alone in state. Then the -long-wished-for moment began for his feminine adorers. The great -ladies of Berlin would allow no one to wait on the Master but -themselves, and the bearers of the oldest and proudest names in -Prussia bustled about with prodigious fussing, carrying plates of -sauerkraut, liver sausage, black puddings, and herring-salad, -colliding with each other, but in spite of that managing to heap the -supper-table with more Teutonic delicacies than even Wagner's very -ample appetite could assimilate. - -I fear that not one of these great ladies would have found it easy to -obtain a permanent engagement as waitress in a restaurant, for their -skill in handling dishes and plates was hardly commensurate with -their zeal. In justice it must be added that the professional -waitress would not be encumbered with the long and heavy train of -evening dresses in the "'seventies." These great ladies, anxious to -display their intimate knowledge of the Master's tastes, bickered -considerably amongst themselves. "Surely, dear Countess, you know by -now that the Master never touches white bread." - -"Dearest Princess, Limburger cheese is the only sort the Master cares -for. You had better take that Gruyère cheese away"; whilst an -extremely attractive little Countess, the bearer of a great German -name, would trip vaguely about, announcing to the world that "The -Master thinks that he could {25} eat two more black puddings. Where -do you imagine that I could find them?" - -Meanwhile from another quarter one would hear an eager "Dearest -Princess, could you manage to get some raw ham? The Master thinks -that he would like some, or else some raw smoked goose-breast." -"_Aber, allerliebste Gräfin, wissen Sie nicht dass der Meister trinkt -nur dunkles Bier?_" would come as a pathetic protest from some -slighted worshipper who had been herself reproved for ignorance of -the Master's gastronomic tastes. - -It must regretfully be confessed that these tastes were rather gross. -Meanwhile Wagner, dressed in a frock-coat and trousers of shiny black -cloth, his head covered with his invariable black velvet skull-cap, -would munch steadily away, taking no notice whatever of those around -him. - -The rest of us stood at a respectful distance, watching with a -certain awe this marvellous weaver of harmonies assimilating copious -nourishment. For us it was a sort of Barmecide's feast, for beyond -the sight of Wagner at supper, we had no refreshments of any sort -offered to us. - -Soon afterwards Rubinstein, on his way to St. Petersburg, played at -Madame de Schleinitz's house. Having learnt that Wagner always made -a point of having two grand pianos side by side when he played, -Rubinstein also insisted on having two. To my mind, Rubinstein -absolutely ruined the effect of all his own compositions by the -tremendous pace at which he played them. It was as {26} though he -were longing to be through with the whole thing. His "Melody in F," -familiar to every school-girl, he took at such a pace that I really -believe the virulent germ which forty years afterwards was to develop -into Rag-time, and to conquer the whole world with its maddening -syncopated strains, came into being that very night, and was evoked -by Rubinstein himself out of his own long-suffering "Melody in F." - -Our Ambassador, himself an excellent musician, was an almost lifelong -friend of Liszt. Wagner's wife, by the way, was Lizst's daughter, -and had been previously married to Hans von Bulow, the pianist. -Liszt, when passing through Berlin, always dined at our Embassy and -played to us afterwards. I remember well Lord Ampthill asking Liszt -where he placed Rubinstein as a pianist. "Rubinstein is, without any -question whatever, the first pianist in the world," answered Liszt -without hesitation. "But you are forgetting yourself, Abbé," -suggested the Ambassador. "Ich," said Liszt, striking his chest, -"Ich bin der einzige Pianist der Welt" ("I; I am the only pianist in -the world"). There was a superb arrogance about this perfectly -justifiable assertion which pleased me enormously at the time, and -pleases me still after the lapse of so many years. - -Bismarck was a frequent visitor at our Embassy, and was fond of -dropping in informally in the evening. Apart from his liking for our -Ambassador, he had a great belief in his judgment and {27} -discretion. Lady Ampthill, too, was one of the few women Bismarck -respected and really liked. I think he had a great admiration for -her intellectual powers and quick sense of intuition. - -It is perhaps superfluous to state that no man living now occupies -the position Bismarck filled in the "'seventies." The maker of -Modern Germany was the unchallenged dictator of Europe. He was -always very civil to the junior members of the Embassy. I think it -pleased him that we all spoke German fluently, for the acknowledged -supremacy of the French language as a means of communication between -educated persons of different nationalities was always a very sore -point with him. It must be remembered that Prussia herself had only -comparatively recently been released from the thraldom of the French -language. Frederick the Great always addressed his _entourage_ in -French. After 1870-71, Bismarck ordered the German Foreign Office to -reply in the German language to all communications from the French -Embassy. He followed the same procedure with the Russian Embassy; -whereupon the Russian Ambassador countered with a long despatch -written in Russian to the Wilhelmstrasse. He received no reply to -this, and mentioned that fact to Bismarck about a fortnight later. -"Ah!" said Bismarck reflectively, "now that your Excellency mentions -it, I think we did receive a despatch in some unknown tongue. I -ordered it to be put carefully away until we could procure the -services of an expert to decipher {28} it. I hope to be able to find -such an expert in the course of the next three or four months, and -can only trust that the matter was not a very pressing one." - -The Ambassador took the hint, and that was the last note in Russian -that reached the Wilhelmstrasse. - -We ourselves always wrote in English, receiving replies in German, -written in the third person, in the curiously cumbrous Prussian -official style. - -Bismarck was very fond of enlarging on his favourite theory of the -male and female European nations. The Germans themselves, the three -Scandinavian peoples, the Dutch, the English proper, the Scotch, the -Hungarians and the Turks, he declared to be essentially male races. -The Russians, the Poles, the Bohemians, and indeed every Slavonic -people, and all Celts, he maintained, just as emphatically, to be -female races. A female race he ungallantly defined as one given to -immense verbosity, to fickleness, and to lack of tenacity. He -conceded to these feminine races some of the advantages of their sex, -and acknowledged that they had great powers of attraction and charm, -when they chose to exert them, and also a fluency of speech denied to -the more virile nations. He maintained stoutly that it was quite -useless to expect efficiency in any form from one of the female -races, and he was full of contempt for the Celt and the Slav. He -contended that the most interesting nations were the epicene ones, -partaking, that is, {29} of the characteristics of both sexes, and he -instanced France and Italy, intensely virile in the North, absolutely -female in the South; maintaining that the Northern French had saved -their country times out of number from the follies of the -"Méridionaux." He attributed the efficiency of the Frenchmen of the -North to the fact that they had so large a proportion of Frankish and -Norman blood in their veins, the Franks being a Germanic tribe, and -the Normans, as their name implied, Northmen of Scandinavian, -therefore also of Teutonic, origin. He declared that the fair-haired -Piedmontese were the driving power of Italy, and that they owed their -initiative to their descent from the Germanic hordes who invaded -Italy under Alaric in the fifth century. Bismarck stoutly maintained -that efficiency, wherever it was found, was due to Teutonic blood; a -statement with which I will not quarrel. - -As the inventor of "Practical Politics" (_Real-Politik_), Bismarck -had a supreme contempt for fluent talkers and for words, saying that -only fools could imagine that facts could be talked away. He -cynically added that words were sometimes useful for "papering over -structural cracks" when they had to be concealed for a time. - -With his intensely overbearing disposition, Bismarck could not brook -the smallest contradiction, or any criticism whatever. I have often -watched him in the Reichstag--then housed in a very modest -building--whilst being attacked, especially by Liebknecht the -Socialist. He made no effort to {30} conceal his anger, and would -stab the blotting-pad before him viciously with a metal paper-cutter, -his face purple with rage. - -Bismarck himself was a very clear and forcible speaker, with a happy -knack of coining felicitous phrases. - -His eldest son, Herbert Bismarck, inherited all his father's -arrogance and intensely overweening disposition, without one spark of -his father's genius. He was not a popular man. - -The second son, William, universally known as "Bill," was a genial, -fair-headed giant of a man, as generally popular as his elder brother -was the reverse. Bill Bismarck (the juxtaposition of these two names -always struck me as being comically incongruous) drank so much beer -that his hands were always wet and clammy. He told me himself that -he always had three bottles of beer placed by his bedside lest he -should be thirsty in the night. He did not live long. - -Moltke, the silent, clean-shaved, spare old man with the sphinx-like -face, who had himself worked out every detail of the Franco-Prussian -War long before it materialised, was an occasional visitor at our -Embassy, as was Gustav Richter, the fashionable Jewish artist. -Richter's paintings, though now sneered at as _Chocolade-Malerei_ -(chocolate-box painting), had an enormous vogue in the "'seventies," -and were reproduced by the hundred thousand. His picture of Queen -Louise of Prussia, engravings of which are scattered all over the -world, {31} is only a fancy portrait, as Queen Louise had died before -Richter was born. He had Rauch's beautiful effigy of the Queen in -the mausoleum at Charlottenburg to guide him, but the actual model -was, I believe, a member of the _corps de ballet_ at the Opera. -Madame Richter was the daughter of Mendelssohn the composer, and -there was much speculation in Berlin as to the wonderful artistic -temperament the children of such a union would inherit. As a matter -of fact, I fancy that none of the young Richters showed any artistic -gifts whatever. - -Our Embassy was a very fine building. The German railway magnate -Strousberg had erected it as his own residence, but as he most -tactfully went bankrupt just as the house was completed, the British -Government was able to buy it at a very low figure indeed, and to -convert it into an Embassy. Though a little ornate, it was admirably -adapted for this purpose, having nine reception rooms, including a -huge ball-room, all communicating with each other, on the ground -floor. The "Chancery," as the offices of an Embassy are termed, was -in another building on the Pariser Platz. This was done to avoid the -constant stream of people on business, of applicants of various -sorts, including "D.B.S.'s" (Distressed British Subjects), -continually passing through the Embassy. Immediately opposite our -"Chancery," in the same building, and only separated from it by a -_porte-cochère_, was the Chancery of the Austro-Hungarian Embassy. - -{32} - -Count W----, the Councillor of the Austrian Embassy, was very deaf, -and had entirely lost the power of regulating his voice. He -habitually shouted in a quarter-deck voice, audible several hundred -yards away. - -I was at work in the Chancery one day when I heard a stupendous din -arising from the Austrian Chancery. "The Imperial Chancellor told -me," thundered this megaphone voice in stentorian German tones, every -word of which must have been distinctly heard in the street, "that -under no circumstances whatever would Germany consent to this -arrangement. If the proposal is pressed, Germany will resist it to -the utmost, if necessary by force of arms. The Chancellor, in giving -me this information," went on the strident voice, "impressed upon me -how absolutely secret the matter must be kept. I need hardly inform -your Excellency that this telegram is confidential to the highest -degree." - -"What is that appalling noise in the Austrian Chancery?" I asked our -white-headed old Chancery servant. - -"That is Count W---- dictating a cypher telegram to Vienna," answered -the old man with a twinkle in his shrewd eyes. - -This little episode has always seemed to me curiously typical of -Austro-Hungarian methods. - -The central figure of Berlin was of course the old Emperor William. -This splendid-looking old man may not have been an intellectual -giant, but he {33} certainly looked an Emperor, every inch of him. -There was something, too, very taking in his kindly old face and -genial manner. The Crown Princess, afterwards the Empress Frederick, -being a British Princess, we were what is known in diplomatic -parlance as "une ambassade de famille." The entire staff of the -Embassy was asked to dine at the Palace on the birthdays both of -Queen Victoria and of the Crown Princess. These dinners took place -at the unholy hour of 5 p.m., in full uniform, at the Emperor's ugly -palace on the Linden, the Old Schloss being only used for more formal -entertainments. On these occasions the sole table decoration -consisted, quaintly enough, of rows of gigantic silver dish-covers, -each surmounted by the Prussian eagle, with nothing under them, -running down the middle of the table. The old Emperor had been but -indifferently handled by his dentist. It had become necessary to -supplement Nature's handiwork by art, but so unskilfully had these, -what are euphemistically termed, additions to the Emperor's mouth -been contrived, that his articulation was very defective. It was -almost impossible to hear what he said, or indeed to make out in what -language he was addressing you. When the Emperor "made the circle," -one strained one's ears to the utmost to obtain a glimmering of what -he was saying. If one detected an unmistakably Teutonic guttural, -one drew a bow at a venture, and murmured "_Zu Befehl Majestät_," -trusting that it might fit in. Should one catch, on the other hand, -a slight {34} suspicion of a nasal "n," one imagined that the -language must be French, and interpolated a tentative "_Parfaitement, -Sire_," trusting blindly to a kind Providence. Still the impression -remains of a kindly and very dignified old gentleman, filling his -part admirably. The Empress Augusta, who had been beautiful in her -youth, could not resign herself to growing old gracefully. She would -have made a most charming old lady, but though well over seventy -then, she was ill-advised enough to attempt to rejuvenate herself -with a chestnut wig and an elaborate make-up, with deplorable -results. The Empress, in addition, was afflicted with a slight palsy -of the head. - -The really magnificent figure was the Crown Prince, afterwards the -Emperor Frederick. Immensely tall, with a full golden beard, he -looked in his white Cuirassier uniform the living embodiment of a -German legendary hero; a Lohengrin in real life. - -Princess Frederick Charles of Prussia was a strikingly handsome woman -too, though unfortunately nearly stone deaf. - -Though the palace on the Linden may have been commonplace and ugly, -the Old Schloss has to my mind the finest interior in Europe. It may -lack the endless, bare, gigantic halls of the Winter Palace in -Petrograd, and it may contain fewer rooms than the great rambling -Hofburg in Vienna, but I maintain that, with the possible exception -of the Palace in Madrid, no building in Europe {35} can compare -internally with the Old Schloss in Berlin. I think the effect the -Berlin palace produces on the stranger is due to the series of rooms -which must be traversed before the State apartments proper are -reached. These rooms, of moderate dimensions, are very richly -decorated. Their painted ceilings, encased in richly-gilt "coffered" -work in high relief, have a Venetian effect, recalling some of the -rooms in the Doge's Palace in the sea-girt city of the Adriatic. -Their silk-hung walls, their pictures, and the splendid pieces of old -furniture they contain, redeem these rooms from the soulless, -impersonal look most palaces wear. They recall the rooms in some of -the finer English or French country-houses, although no private house -would have them in the same number. The rooms that dwell in my -memory out of the dozen or so that formed the _enfilade_ are, first, -the "Drap d'Or Kammer," with its droll hybrid appellation, the walls -of which were hung, as its name implies, with cloth of gold; then the -"Red Eagle Room," with its furniture and mirrors of carved wood, -covered with thin plates of beaten silver, producing an indescribably -rich effect, and the "Red Velvet" room. This latter had its walls -hung with red velvet bordered by broad bands of silver lace, and -contained some splendid old gilt furniture. - -The Throne room was one of the most sumptuous in the world. It had -an arched painted ceiling, from which depended some beautiful old -chandeliers of cut rock crystal, and the walls, which framed {36} -great panels of Gobelin tapestry of the best period, were highly -decorated, in florid rococo style, with pilasters and carved groups -representing the four quarters of the world. The whole of the wall -surface was gilded; carvings, mouldings, and pilasters forming one -unbroken sheet of gold. We were always told that the musicians' -gallery was of solid silver, and that it formed part of Frederick the -Great's war-chest. As a matter of fact, Frederick had himself melted -the original gallery down and converted it into cash for one of his -campaigns. By his orders, a facsimile gallery was carved of wood -heavily silvered over. The effect produced, however, was the same, -as we were hardly in a position to scrutinise the hall-mark. The -room contained four semi-circular buffets, rising in diminishing -tiers, loaded with the finest specimens the Prussian Crown possessed -of old German silver-gilt drinking-cups of Nuremberg and Augsburg -workmanship of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. - -When the Throne room was lighted up at night the glowing colours of -the Gobelin tapestry and the sheen of the great expanses of gold and -silver produced an effect of immense splendour. With the possible -exception of the Salle des Fêtes in the Luxembourg Palace in Paris, -it was certainly the finest Throne room in Europe. - -The first time I saw the Luxembourg hall was as a child of seven, -under the Second Empire, when I was absolutely awe-struck by its -magnificence. It then contained Napoleon the Third's throne, and -{37} was known as the "Salle du Trône." A relation pointed out to me -that the covering and curtains of the throne, instead of being of the -stereotyped crimson velvet, were of purple velvet, all spangled with -the golden bees of the Bonapartes. The Luxembourg hall had then in -the four corners of the coved ceiling an ornament very dear to the -meretricious but effective taste of the Second Empire. Four immense -globes of sky-blue enamel supported four huge gilt Napoleonic eagles -with outspread wings. To the crude taste of a child the purple -velvet of the throne, powdered with golden bees, and the gilt eagles -on their turquoise globes, appeared splendidly sumptuous. Of course -after 1870 all traces of throne and eagles were removed, as well as -the countless "N. III's" with which the walls were plentifully -besprinkled. - -What an astute move of Louis Napoleon's it was to term himself the -"Third," counting the poor little "Aiglon," the King of Rome, as the -second of the line, and thus giving a look of continuity and -stability to a brand-new dynasty! Some people say that the -assumption of this title was due to an accident, arising out of a -printer's error. After his _coup d'état_, Louis Napoleon issued a -proclamation to the French people, ending "Vive Napoleon!!!" The -printer, mistaking the three notes of exclamation for the numeral -III, set up "Vive Napoleon III." The proclamation appeared in this -form, and Louis Napoleon, at once recognising the advantages of it, -adhered to the style. {38} Whether this is true or not I cannot say. -I was then too young to be able to judge for myself, but older people -have told me that the mushroom Court of the Tuileries eclipsed all -others in Europe in splendour. The _parvenu_ dynasty needed all the -aid it could derive from gorgeous ceremonial pomp to maintain its -position successfully. - -To return to Berlin, beyond the Throne room lay the fine picture -gallery, nearly 200 feet long. At Court entertainments all the -German officers gathered in this picture gallery and made a living -hedge, between the ranks of which the guests passed on their way to -the famous "White Hall." These long ranks of men in their -resplendent _Hofballanzug_ were really a magnificent sight, and -whoever first devised this most effective bit of stage-management -deserves great credit. - -The White Hall as I knew it was a splendidly dignified room. As its -name implies, it was entirely white, the mouldings all being silvered -instead of gilt. Both Germans and Russians are fond of substituting -silvering for gilding. Personally I think it most effective, but as -the French with their impeccable good taste never employ silvering, -there must be some sound artistic reason against its use. - -It must be reluctantly confessed that the show of feminine beauty at -Berlin was hardly on a level with the perfect _mise-en-scène_. There -were three or four very beautiful women. Countess Karolyi, the -Austrian Ambassadress, herself a Hungarian, was a tall, graceful -blonde with beautiful hair; she {39} was full of infinite attraction. -Princess William Radziwill, a Russian, was, I think, the loveliest -human being I have ever seen; she was, however, much dreaded on -account of her mordant tongue. Princess Carolath-Beuthen, a -Prussian, had first seen the light some years earlier than these two -ladies. She was still a very beautiful woman, and eventually married -as her second husband Count Herbert Bismarck, the Iron Chancellor's -eldest son. - -There was, unfortunately, a very wide gap between the looks of these -"stars" and those of the rest of the company. - -The interior of the Berlin Schloss put Buckingham Palace completely -in the shade. The London palace was unfortunately decorated in the -"fifties," during the _époque de mauvais goût_, as the French -comprehensively term the whole period between 1820 and 1880, and it -bears the date written on every unfortunate detail of its decoration. -It is beyond any question whatever the product of the "period of bad -taste." I missed, though, in Berlin the wealth of flowers which -turns Buckingham Palace into a garden on Court Ball nights. -Civilians too in London have to appear at Court in knee-breeches and -stockings; in Berlin trousers were worn, thus destroying the -_habillé_ look. As regards the display of jewels and the beauty of -the women at the two Courts, Berlin was simply nowhere. German -uniforms were of every colour of the rainbow; with us there is an -undue predominance of scarlet, so that the kaleidoscopic effect of -Berlin was never {40} attained in London, added to which too much -scarlet and gold tends to kill the effect of the ladies' dresses. - -At the Prussian Court on these State occasions an immense number of -pages made their appearance. I myself had been a Court page in my -youth, but whereas in England little boys were always chosen for this -part, in Berlin the tallest and biggest lads were selected from the -Cadet School at Lichterfelde. A great lanky gawk six feet high, with -an incipient moustache, does not show up to advantage in lace -ruffles, with his thin spindle-shanks encased in silk stockings; a -page's trappings being only suitable for little boys. I remember -well the day when I and my fellow-novice were summoned to try on our -new page's uniforms. Our white satin knee-breeches and -gold-embroidered white satin waistcoats left us quite cold, but we -were both enchanted with the little pages' swords, in their -white-enamelled scabbards, which the tailor had brought with him. We -had neither of us ever possessed a real sword of our own before, and -the steel blades were of the most inviting sharpness. We agreed that -the opportunity was too good a one to be lost, so we determined to -slip out into the garden in our new finery and there engage in a -deadly duel. It was further agreed to thrust really hard with the -keen little blades, "just to see what would happen." Fortunately for -us, we had been overheard. We reached the garden, and, having found -a conveniently secluded spot, had just {41} commenced to make those -vague flourishes with our unaccustomed weapons which our experience, -derived from pictures, led us to believe formed the orthodox -preliminaries to a duel, when the combat was sternly interrupted. -Otherwise there would probably have been vacancies for one if not two -fresh Pages of Honour before nightfall. What a pity there were no -"movies" in those days! What a splendid film could have been made of -two small boys, arrayed in all the bravery of silk stockings, white -satin breeches, and lace ruffles, their red tunics heavy with bullion -embroidery, engaged in a furious duel in a big garden. When the news -of our escapade reached the ears of the highest quarters, preemptory -orders were issued to have the steel blades removed from our swords -and replaced with innocuous pieces of shaped wood. It was very -ignominious; still the little swords made a brave show, and no one by -looking at them could guess that the white scabbards shielded nothing -more deadly than an inoffensive piece of oak. A page's sword, by the -way, is not worn at the left side in the ordinary manner, but is -passed through two slits in the tunic, and is carried in the small of -the back, so that the boy can keep his hands entirely free. - -The "White Hall" has a splendid inlaid parquet floor, with a crowned -Prussian eagle in the centre of it. This eagle was a source of -immense pride to the palace attendants, who kept it in a high state -of polish. As a result the eagle was as slippery as ice, and woe -betide the unfortunate dancer {42} who set his foot on it. He was -almost certain to fall; and to fall down at a Berlin State ball was -an unpardonable offence. If a German officer, the delinquent had his -name struck off the list of those invited for a whole year. If a -member of the Corps Diplomatique, he received strong hints to avoid -dancing again. Certainly the diplomats were sumptuously entertained -at supper at the Berlin Palace; whether the general public fared as -well I do not know. - -Urbain, the old Emperor William's French chef, who was responsible -for these admirable suppers, had published several cookery books in -French, on the title-page of which he described himself as "Urbain, -premier officier de bouche de S.M. l'Empereur d'Allemagne." This -quaint-sounding title was historically quite correct, it being the -official appellation of the head cooks of the old French kings. A -feature of the Berlin State balls was the stirrup-cup of hot punch -given to departing guests. Knowing people hurried to the grand -staircase at the conclusion of the entertainment; here servants -proffered trays of this delectable compound. It was concocted, I -believe, of equal parts of arrack and rum, with various other unknown -ingredients. In the same way, at Buckingham Palace in Queen -Victoria's time, wise persons always asked for hock cup. This was -compounded of very old hock and curious liqueurs, from a -hundred-year-old recipe. A truly admirable beverage! Now, alas! -since Queen Victoria's day, only a memory. - -{43} - -The Princesses of the House of Prussia had one ordeal to face should -they become betrothed to a member of the Royal Family of any other -country. They took leave formally of the diplomats at the Palace, -"making the circle" by themselves. I have always understood that -Prussian princesses were trained for this from their childhood by -being placed in the centre of a circle of twenty chairs, and being -made to address some non-committal remark to each chair in turn, in -German, French, and English. I remember well Princess Louise -Margaret of Prussia, afterwards our own Duchess of Connaught, who was -to become so extraordinarily popular not only in England but in India -and Canada as well, making her farewell at Berlin on her betrothal. -She "made the circle" of some forty people, addressing a remark or -two to each, entirely alone, save for two of the great long, gawky -Prussian pages in attendance on her, looking in their red tunics for -all the world like London-grown geraniums--all stalk and no leaves. -It is a terribly trying ordeal for a girl of eighteen, and the -Duchess once told me that she nearly fainted from sheer nervousness -at the time, although she did not show it in the least. - -If I may be permitted a somewhat lengthy digression, I would say that -it is at times extremely difficult to find topics of conversation. -Years afterwards, when I was stationed at our Lisbon Legation, the -Papal Nuncio was very tenacious of his dignity. In Catholic -countries the Nuncio is _ex officio_ head {44} of the Diplomatic -Body, and the Nuncio at Lisbon expected every diplomat to call on him -at least six times a year. On his reception days the Nuncio always -arrayed himself in his purple robes and a lace cotta, with his great -pectoral emerald cross over it. He then seated himself in state in a -huge carved chair, with a young priest as aide-de-camp, standing -motionless behind him. It was always my ill-fortune to find the -Nuncio alone. Now what possible topic of conversation could I, a -Protestant, find with which to fill the necessary ten minutes with an -Italian Archbishop _in partibus_. We could not well discuss the -latest fashions in copes, or any impending changes in the College of -Cardinals. Most providentally, I learnt that this admirable -ecclesiastic, so far from despising the pleasures of the table, made -them his principal interest in life. I know no more of the -intricacies of the Italian _cuisine_ than Melchizedek knew about -frying sausages, but I had a friend, the wife of an Italian -colleague, deeply versed in the mysteries of Tuscan cooking. This -kindly lady wrote me out in French some of the choicest recipes in -her extensive _répertoire_, and I learnt them all off by heart. -After that I was the Nuncio's most welcome visitor. We argued hotly -over the respective merits of _risotto alia Milanese_ and _risotto al -Salto_. We discussed _gnocchi_, _pasta asciutta_, and novel methods -of preparing _minestra_, I trust without undue partisan heat, until -the excellent prelate's eyes gleamed and his mouth began to water. -Donna Maria, my Italian friend, proved an {45} inexhaustible mine of -recipes. She always produced new ones, which I memorised, and -occasionally wrote out for the Nuncio, sometimes, with all the valour -of ignorance, adding a fancy ingredient or two on my own account. On -one occasion, after I had detailed the constituent parts of an -extraordinarily succulent composition of rice, cheese, oil, -mushrooms, chestnuts, and tomatoes, the Nuncio nearly burst into -tears with emotion, and I feel convinced that, heretic though I might -be, he was fully intending to give me his Apostolic benediction, had -not the watchful young priest checked him. I felt rewarded for my -trouble when my chief, the British Minister, informed me that the -Nuncio considered me the most intelligent young man he knew. He -added further that he enjoyed my visits, as my conversation was so -interesting. - -The other occasion on which I experienced great conversational -difficulties was in Northern India at the house of a most popular and -sporting Maharajah. His mother, the old Maharani, having just -completed her seventy-first year, had emerged from the seclusion of -the zenana, where she had spent fifty-five years of her life, or, in -Eastern parlance, had "come from behind the curtain." We paid short -ceremonial visits at intervals to the old lady, who sat amid piles of -cushions, a little brown, shrivelled, mummy-like figure, so swathed -in brocades and gold tissue as to be almost invisible. The Maharajah -was most anxious that I should talk to his mother, but what possible -subject of conversation {46} could I find with an old lady who had -spent fifty-five years in the pillared (and somewhat uncleanly) -seclusions of the zenana? Added to which the Maharani knew no Urdu, -but only spoke Bengali, a language of which I am ignorant. This -entailed the services of an interpreter, always an embarrassing -appendage. On occasions of this sort Morier's delightful book _Hadji -Baba_ is invaluable, for the author gives literal English -translations of all the most flowery Persian compliments. Had the -Maharani been a Mohammedan, I could have addressed her as "Oh -moon-faced ravisher of hearts! I trust that you are reposing under -the canopy of a sound brain!" Being a Hindoo, however, she would not -be familiar with Persian forms of politeness. A few remarks on lawn -tennis, or the increasing price of polo ponies, would obviously fail -to interest her. You could not well discuss fashions with an old -lady who had found one single garment sufficient for her needs all -her days, and any questions as to details of her life in the zenana, -or that of the other inmates of that retreat, would have been -indecorous in the highest degree. Nothing then remained but to -remark that the Maharajah was looking remarkably well, but that he -had unquestionably put on a great deal of weight since I had last -seen him. I received the startling reply from the interpreter -(delivered in the clipped, staccato tones most natives of India -assume when they speak English), "Her Highness says that, thanks to -God, and to his mother's cooking, her son's belly is increasing -indeed to vast size." - -{47} - -Bearing in mind these later conversational difficulties, I cannot but -admire the ease with which Royal personages, from long practice, -manage to address appropriate and varied remarks to perhaps forty -people of different nationalities, whilst "making the circle." - - - - -{48} - -CHAPTER II - -Easy-going Austria--Vienna--Charm of town--A little piece of -history---International families--Family -pride--"Schlüssel-Geld"--Excellence of Vienna restaurants--The origin -of "_Croissants_"--Good looks of Viennese women--Strauss's -operettas--A ball in an old Vienna house--Court entertainments--The -Empress Elisabeth--Delightful environs of Vienna--The Berlin Congress -of 1878--Lord Beaconsfield--M. de Blowitz--Treaty telegraphed to -London--Environs of Berlin--Potsdam and its lakes--The bow-oar of the -Embassy "four"--Narrow escape of ex-Kaiser--The Potsdam -palaces--Transfer to Petrograd--Glamour of Russia--An evening with -the Crown Prince at Potsdam. - - -Our Embassy at Vienna was greatly overworked at this time, owing to -the illness of two of the staff, and some fresh developments of the -perennial "Eastern Question." I was accordingly "lent" to the Vienna -Embassy for as long as was necessary, and left at once for the -Austrian capital. - -At the frontier station of Tetschen the transition from cast-iron, -dictatorial, overbearing Prussian efficiency to the good-natured, -easy-going, slipshod methods of the "ramshackle Empire" was -immediately apparent. - -The change from Berlin to Vienna was refreshing. The straight, -monotonous, well-kept streets of the Northern capital lacked life and -animation. It was a very fine frame enclosing no picture. The -Vienna {49} streets were as gay as those of Paris, and one was -conscious of being in a city with centuries of traditions. The Inner -Town of Vienna with its narrow winding streets is extraordinarily -picturesque. The demolisher has not been given the free hand he has -been allowed in Paris, and the fine _baroque_ houses still remaining -give an air of great distinction to this part of the town, with its -many highly-decorative, if somewhat florid, fountains and columns. -One was no longer in the "pushful" atmosphere of Prussia. These -cheery, easy-going Viennese loved music and dancing, eating and -drinking, laughter and fun. They were quite content to drift lazily -down the stream of life, with as much enjoyment and as little trouble -as possible. They might be a decadent race, but they were -essentially _gemüthliche Leute_. The untranslatable epithet -_gemüthlich_ implies something at once "comfortable," "sociable," -"cosy," and "pleasant." - -The Austrian aristocracy were most charming people. They had all -intermarried for centuries, and if they did not trouble their -intellect much, there may have been physical difficulties connected -with the process for which they were not responsible. The degree of -warmth of their reception of foreigners was largely dependent upon -whether he, or she, could show the indispensable _sechzehn Ahnen_ -(the "sixteen quarterings"). Once satisfied (or the reverse) as to -this point, to which they attach immense importance, the situation -became easier. As the whole of these people were interrelated, they -{50} were all on Christian names terms, and the various "Mitzis," -"Kitzis," "Fritzis," and other characteristically Austrian -abbreviations were a little difficult to place at times. - -It was impossible not to realise that the whole nation was living on -the traditions of their splendid past. It must be remembered that in -the sixteenth century the Hapsburgs ruled the whole of Europe with -the exception of France, England, Russia, and the Scandinavian -countries. For centuries after Charlemagne assumed the Imperial -Crown there had been only one Emperor in Europe, the "Holy Roman -Emperor," the "Heiliger Römischer Kaiser," the fiction being, of -course, that he was the descendant of the Cæsars. The word "Kaiser" -is only the German variant of Cæsar. France and England had always -consistently refused to acknowledge the overlordship of the Emperor, -but the prestige of the title in German-speaking lands was immense, -though the Holy Roman Empire itself was a mere simulacrum of power. -In theory the Emperor was elected; in practice the title came to be a -hereditary appanage of the proud Hapsburgs. It was, I think, -Talleyrand who said "L'Autrice a la Fächeuse habitude d'être toujours -battue," and this was absolutely true. Austria was defeated with -unfailing regularity in almost every campaign, and the Hapsburgs saw -their immense dominions gradually slipping from their grasp. It was -on May 14, 1804, that Napoleon was crowned Emperor of the French in -Paris, and Francis II, the last of {51} the Holy Roman Emperors, was -fully aware that Napoleon's next move would be to supplant him and -get himself elected as "Roman Emperor." This Napoleon would have -been able to achieve, as he had bribed the Electors of Bavaria, -Württemberg, and Saxony by creating them kings. For once a Hapsburg -acted with promptitude. On August 11, 1804, Francis proclaimed -himself hereditary Emperor of Austria, and two years later he -abolished the title of Holy Roman Emperor. The Empire, after a -thousand years of existence, flickered out ingloriously in 1806. The -pride of the Hapsburgs had received a hundred years previously a rude -shock. Peter the Great, after consolidating Russia, abolished the -title of Tsar of Muscovy, and proclaimed himself Emperor of All the -Russias; purposely using the same term "Imperator" as that employed -by the Roman Emperor, and thus putting himself on an equality with -him. - -I know by experience that it is impossible to din into the heads of -those unfamiliar with Russia that since Peter the Great's time there -has never been a Tsar. The words "Tsar," "Tsarina," "Cesarevitch," -beloved of journalists, exist only in their imagination; they are -never heard in Russia. The Russians termed their Emperor "Gosudar -Imperator," using either or both of the words. Empress is -"Imperatritza"; Heir Apparent "Nadslyédnik." If you mentioned the -words "Tsar" or "Tsarina" to any ordinary Russian peasant, I doubt if -he would understand you, but I am well {52} aware that it is no use -repeating this, the other idea is too firmly ingrained. The -Hapsburgs had yet another bitter pill to swallow. Down to the middle -of the nineteenth century the ancient prestige of the title Kaiser -and the glamour attached to it were maintained throughout the -Germanic Confederation, but in 1871 a second brand-new Kaiser arose -on the banks of the Spree, and the Hapsburgs were shorn of their long -monopoly. - -Franz Josef of Austria must have rued the day when Sigismund sold the -sandy Mark of Brandenburg to Frederick Count of Hohenzollern in 1415, -and regretted the acquiescence in 1701 of his direct ancestor, the -Emperor Leopold I, in the Elector of Brandenburg's request that he -might assume the title of King of Prussia. The Hohenzollerns were -ever a grasping race. I think that it was Louis XIV of France who, -whilst officially recognising the new King of Prussia, refused to -speak of him as such, and always alluded to him as "Monsieur le -Marquis de Brandenbourg." - -No wonder that the feeling of bitterness against Prussia amongst the -upper classes of Austria was very acute in the "'seventies." The -events of 1866 were still too recent to have been forgotten. In my -time the great Austrian ladies affected the broadest Vienna popular -dialect, probably to emphasise the fact that they were not Prussians. -Thus the sentence "ein Glas Wasser, bitte," became, written in -phonetic English, "a' Glawss Vawsser beet." I myself was much -rallied on my pedantic {53} North-German pronunciation, and had in -self-defence to adopt unfamiliar Austrian equivalents for many words. - -The curious international families which seemed to abound in Vienna -always puzzled me. Thus the princes d'Aremberg are Belgians, but -there was one Prince d'Aremberg in the Austrian service, whilst his -brother was in the Prussian Diplomatic Service, the remainder of the -family being Belgians. There were, in the same way, many -German-speaking Pourtales in Berlin in the German service, and more -French-speaking ones in Paris in the French service. The Duc de Croy -was both a Belgian and an Austrian subject. The Croys are one of the -oldest families in Europe, and are _ebenbürtig_ ("born on an -equality") with all the German Royalties. They therefore show no -signs of respect to Archdukes and Archduchesses when they meet them. -Although I cannot vouch personally for them, never having myself seen -them, I am told that there are two pictures in the Croy Palace at -Brussels which reach the apogee of family pride. The first depicts -Noah embarking on his ark. Although presumably anxious about the -comfort of the extensive live-stock he has on board, Noah finds time -to give a few parting instructions to his sons. On what is -technically called a "bladder" issuing from his mouth are the words, -"And whatever you do, don't forget to bring with you the family -papers of the Croys." ("Et surtout ayez soin de ne pas oublier les -papiers de la Maison de Croy!") The {54} other picture represents -the Madonna and Child, with the then Duke of Croy kneeling in -adoration before them. Out of the Virgin Mary's mouth comes a -"bladder" with the words "But please put on your hat, dear cousin." -("Mais couvrez vous donc, cher cousin.") - -The whole of Viennese life is regulated by one exceedingly tiresome -custom. After 10 or 10.15 p.m. the hall porter (known in Vienna as -the "House-master") of every house in the city has the right of -levying a small toll of threepence on each person entering or leaving -the house. The whole life of the Vienna bourgeois is spent in trying -to escape this tax, known as "Schlüssel-Geld." The theatres commence -accordingly at 6 p.m. or 6.30, which entails dining about 5 p.m. A -typical Viennese middle-class family will hurry out in the middle of -the last act and scurry home breathlessly, as the fatal hour -approaches. Arrived safely in their flat, in the last stages of -exhaustion, they say triumphantly to each other. "We have missed the -end of the play, and we are rather out of breath, but never mind, we -have escaped the 'Schlüssel-Geld,' and as we are four, that makes a -whole shilling saved!" - -An equally irritating custom is the one that ordains that in -restaurants three waiters must be tipped in certain fixed -proportions. The "Piccolo," who brings the wine and bread, receives -one quarter of the tip; the "Speisetrager," who brings the actual -food, gets one half; the "Zahlkellner," {55} who brings the bill, -gets one quarter. All these must be given separately, so not only -does it entail a hideous amount of mental arithmetic, but it also -necessitates the perpetual carrying about of pocketfuls of small -change. - -The Vienna restaurants were quite excellent, with a local cuisine of -extraordinary succulence, and more extraordinary names. A universal -Austrian custom, not only in restaurants but in private houses as -well, is to serve a glass of the delicious light Vienna beer with the -soup. Even at State dinners at the Hof-Burg, a glass of beer was -always offered with the soup. The red wine, Voslauer, grown in the -immediate vicinity of the city, is so good, and has such a -distinctive flavour, that I wonder it has never been exported. The -restaurants naturally suggest the matchless Viennese orchestras. -They were a source of never-ending delight to me. The distinction -they manage to give to quite commonplace little airs is -extraordinary. The popular songs, "Wiener-Couplets," melodious, airy -nothings, little light soap-bubbles of tunes, are one of the -distinctive features of Vienna. Played by an Austrian band as only -an Austrian band can play them, with astonishing vim and fire, and -supremely dainty execution, these little fragile melodies are quite -charming and irresistibly attractive. We live in a progressive age. -In the place of these Austrian bands with their finished execution -and consummately musicianly feeling, the twentieth century {56} has -invented the Jazz band with its ear-splitting, chaotic din. - -There is a place in Vienna known as the Heiden-Schuss, or "Shooting -of the heathens." The origin of this is quite interesting. - -In 1683 the Turks invaded Hungary, and, completely overrunning the -country, reached Vienna, to which they laid siege, for the second -time in its history. Incidentally, they nearly succeeded in -capturing it. During the siege bakers' apprentices were at work one -night in underground bakehouses, preparing the bread for next day's -consumption. The lads heard a rhythmic "thump, thump, thump," and -were much puzzled by it. Two of the apprentices, more intelligent -than the rest, guessed that the Turks were driving a mine, and ran -off to the Commandant of Vienna with their news. They saw the -principal engineer officer and told him of their discovery. He -accompanied them back to the underground bakehouse, and at once -determined that the boys were right. Having got the direction from -the sound, the Austrians drove a second tunnel, and exploded a -powerful counter-mine. Great numbers of Turks were killed, and the -siege was temporarily raised. On September 12 of the same year -(1683) John Sobieski, King of Poland, utterly routed the Turks, drove -them back into their own country, and Vienna was saved. As a reward -for the intelligence shown by the baker-boys, they were granted the -privilege of making and selling a rich kind of roll (into the {57} -composition of which butter entered largely) in the shape of the -Turkish emblem, the crescent. These rolls became enormously popular -amongst the Viennese, who called them _Kipfeln_. When Marie -Antoinette married Louis XVI of France, she missed her Kipfel, and -sent to Vienna for an Austrian baker to teach his Paris _confrères_ -the art of making them. These rolls, which retained their original -shape, became as popular in Paris as they had been in Vienna, and -were known as _Croissants_, and that is the reason why one of the -rolls which are brought you with your morning coffee in Paris will be -baked in the form of a crescent. - -The extraordinary number of good-looking women, of all classes to be -seen in the streets of Vienna was most striking, especially after -Berlin, where a lower standard of feminine beauty prevailed. -Particularly noticeable were the admirable figures with which most -Austrian women are endowed. In the far-off "'seventies" ladies did -not huddle themselves into a shapeless mass of abbreviated oddments -of material--they dressed, and their clothes fitted them; and a woman -on whom Nature (or Art) had bestowed a good figure was able to -display her gifts to the world. In the same way, Fashion did not -compel a pretty girl to smother up her features in unbecoming tangles -of tortured hair. The usual fault of Austrian faces is their breadth -across the cheek-bones; the Viennese too have a decided tendency {58} -to _embonpoint_, but in youth these defects are not accentuated. -Amongst the Austrian aristocracy the great beauty of the girls was -very noticeable, as was their height, in marked contrast to the short -stature of most of the men. I have always heard that one of the -first outward signs of the decadence of a race is that the girls grow -taller, whilst the men get shorter. - -The Vienna theatres are justly celebrated. At the Hof-Burg Theatre -may be seen the most finished acting on the German stage. The Burg -varied its programme almost nightly, and it was an amusing sight to -see the troops of liveried footmen inquiring at the box-office, on -behalf of their mistresses, whether the play to be given that night -was or was not a _Comtessen-Stück_, _i.e._, a play fit for young -girls to see. The box-keeper always gave a plain "Yes" or "No" in -reply. After Charles Garnier's super-ornate pile in Paris, the -Vienna Opera-house is the finest in Europe, and the musical standard -reaches the highest possible level, completely eclipsing Paris in -that respect. In the "'seventies" Johann Strauss's delightful comic -operas still retained their vogue. Bubbling over with merriment, -full of delicious ear-tickling melodies, and with a "go" and an -irresistible intoxication about them that no French composer has ever -succeeded in emulating, these operettas, "Die Fledermaus," "Prinz -Methusalem," and "La Reine Indigo," would well stand revival. When -the "Fledermaus" {59} was revived in London some ten years ago it -ran, if my memory serves me right, for nearly a year. Occasionally -Strauss himself conducted one of his own operettas; then the -orchestra, responding to his magical baton, played like very demons. -Strauss had one peculiarity. Should he be dissatisfied with the vim -the orchestra put into one of his favourite numbers, he would snatch -the instrument from the first violin and play it himself. Then the -orchestra answered like one man, and one left the theatre with the -entrancing strains still tingling in one's ears. - -The family houses of most of the Austrian nobility were in the Inner -Town, the old walled city, where space was very limited. These fine -old houses, built for the greater part in the Italian baroque style, -though splendid for entertaining, were almost pitch dark and very -airless in the daytime. Judging, too, from the awful smells in them, -they must have been singularly insanitary dwellings. The Lobkowitz -Palace, afterwards the French Embassy, was so dark by day that -artificial light had always to be used. In the great seventeenth -century ball-room of the Lobkowitz Palace there was a railed off -oak-panelled alcove containing a bust of Beethoven, an oak table, and -three chairs. It was in that alcove, and at that table, that -Beethoven, when librarian to Prince Lobkowitz, composed some of his -greatest works. - -Our own Embassy in the Metternichgasse, built {60} by the British -Government, was rather cramped and could in no way compare with the -Berlin house. - -I remember well a ball given by Prince S----, head of one of the -greatest Austrian families, in his fine but extremely dark house in -the Inner Town. It was Prince S----'s custom on these occasions to -have three hundred young peasants sent up from his country estates, -and to have them all thrust into the family livery. These bucolic -youths, looking very sheepish in their unfamiliar plush breeches and -stockings, with their unkempt heads powdered, and with swords at -their sides, stood motionless on every step of the staircase. I -counted one hundred of these rustic retainers on the staircase alone. -They would have looked better had their liveries occasionally fitted -them. The ball-room at Prince S----'s was hung with splendid -Brussels seventeenth century tapestry framed in mahogany panels, -heavily carved and gilt. I have never seen this combination of -mahogany, gilding, and tapestry anywhere else. It was wonderfully -decorative, and with the elaborate painted ceiling made a fine -setting for an entertainment. It was a real pleasure to see how -whole-heartedly the Austrians threw themselves into the dancing. I -think they all managed to retain a child's power of enjoyment, and -they never detracted from this by any unnecessary brainwork. Still -they were delightfully friendly, easy-going people. A distinctive -feature of every Vienna ball {61} was the "Comtessen-Zimmer," or room -reserved for girls. At the end of every dance they all trooped in -there, giggling and gossiping, and remained there till the music for -the next dance struck up. No married woman dared intrude into the -"Comtessen-Zimmer," and I shudder to think of what would have -befallen the rash male who ventured to cross that jealously-guarded -threshold. I imagine that the charming and beautifully-dressed -Austrian married women welcomed this custom, for between the dances -at all events they could still hold the field, free from the -competition of a younger and fresher generation. - -At Prince S----'s, at midnight, armies of rustic retainers, in their -temporary disguise, brought battalions of supper tables into the -ball-room, and all the guests sat down to a hot supper at the same -time. As an instance of how Austrians blended simplicity with a -great love of externals, I see from my diary that the supper -consisted of bouillon, of plain-boiled carp with horse-radish, of -thick slices of hot roast beef, and a lemon ice--and nothing else -whatever. A sufficiently substantial repast, but hardly in -accordance with modern ideas as to what a ball-supper should consist -of. The young peasants, considering that it was their first attempt -at waiting, did not break an undue number of plates; they tripped at -times, though, over their unaccustomed swords, and gaped vacantly, or -would get hitched up with each other, when more dishes crashed to -their doom. - -{62} - -In Vienna there was a great distinction drawn between a "Court Ball" -(Hof-Ball) and a "Ball at the Court" (Ball bei Hof). To the former -everyone on the Palace list was invited, to the latter only a few -people; and the one was just as crowded and disagreeable as the other -was the reverse. The great rambling pile of the Hof-Burg contains -some very fine rooms and a marvellous collection of works of art, and -the so-called "Ceremonial Apartments" are of quite Imperial -magnificence, but the general effect was far less striking than in -Berlin. - -In spite of the beauty of the women, the _coup d'oeil_ was spoilt by -the ugly Austrian uniforms. After the disastrous campaign of 1866, -the traditional white of the Austrian Army was abolished, and the -uniforms were shorn of all unnecessary trappings. The military -tailors had evolved hideous garments, ugly in colour, unbecoming in -cut. One can only trust that they proved very economical, but the -contrast with the splendid and admirably made uniforms of the -Prussian Army was very marked. The Hungarian magnates in their -traditional family costumes (from which all Hussar uniforms are -derived) added a note of gorgeous colour, with their gold-laced -tunics and their many-hued velvet slung-jackets. I remember, on the -occasion of Queen Victoria's Jubilee in 1887, the astonishment caused -by a youthful and exceedingly good-looking Hungarian who appeared at -Buckingham Palace in skin-tight blue breeches {63} lavishly -embroidered with gold over the thighs, entirely gilt Hessian boots to -the knee, and a tight-fitting tunic cut out of a real tiger-skin, -fastened with some two dozen turquoise buttons the size of -five-shilling pieces. When this resplendent youth reappeared in -London ten years later at the Diamond Jubilee, it was with a tonsured -head, and he was wearing the violet robes of a prelate of the Roman -Church. - -As an instance of the inflexibility of the cast-iron rules of the -Hapsburg Court: I may mention that the beautiful Countess Karolyi, -Austrian Ambassadress in Berlin, was never asked to Court in Vienna, -as she lacked the necessary "sixteen quarterings." To a non-Austrian -mind it seems illogical that the lovely lady representing Austria in -Berlin should have been thought unfitted for an invitation from her -own Sovereign. - -The immense deference paid to the Austrian Archdukes and -Archduchesses was very striking after the comparatively unceremonious -fashion in which minor German royalties (always excepting the Emperor -and the Crown Prince) were treated in Berlin. The Archduchesses -especially were very tenacious of their privileges. They never could -forget that they were Hapsburgs, and exacted all the traditional -signs of respect. - -The unfortunate Empress Elisabeth, destined years after to fall under -the dagger of an assassin at Geneva, made but seldom a public -appearance in her husband's dominions. She had an almost {64} morbid -horror of fulfilling any of the duties of her position. During my -stay in the Austrian capital I only caught one glimpse of her, -driving through the streets. She was astonishingly handsome, with -coiled masses of dark hair, and a very youthful and graceful figure, -but the face was so impassive that it produced the effect of a -beautiful, listless mask. The Empress was a superb horse-woman, and -every single time she rode she was literally sewn into her habit by a -tailor, in order to ensure a perfect fit. - -The innumerable cafés of Vienna were crowded from morning to night. -Seeing them crammed with men in the forenoon, one naturally wondered -how the business of the city was transacted. Probably, in typical -Austrian fashion, these worthy Viennese left their businesses to take -care of themselves whilst they enjoyed themselves in the cafés. The -super-excellence of the Vienna coffee would afford a more or less -legitimate excuse for this. Nowhere in the world is such coffee -made, and a "Capuziner," or a "Melange," the latter with thick -whipped cream on the top of it, were indeed things of joy. - -Few capitals are more fortunate in their environs than Vienna. The -beautiful gardens and park of Schönbrunn Palace have a sort of -intimate charm which is wholly lacking at Versailles. They are -stately, yet do not overwhelm you with a sense of vast spaces. They -are crowned by a sort of temple, known as the Gloriette, {65} from -which a splendid view is obtained. - -In less than three hours from the capital, the railway climbs 3,000 -feet to the Semmering, where the mountain scenery is really grand. -During the summer months the whole of Vienna empties itself on to the -Semmering and the innumerable other hill-resorts within easy distance -from the city. - -When the time came for my departure, I felt genuinely sorry at -leaving this merry, careless, music and laughter-loving town, and -these genial, friendly, hospitable incompetents. I feel some -compunction in using this word, as people had been very good to me. -I cannot help feeling, though, that it is amply warranted. A bracing -climate is doubtless wholesome; but a relaxing one can be very -pleasant for a time. I went back to Berlin feeling like a boy -returning to school after his holidays. - -The Viennese had but little love for their upstart rival on the -Spree. They had invented the name "Parvenupopolis" for Berlin, and a -little popular song, which I may be forgiven for quoting in the -original German, expressed their sentiments fairly accurately: - - Es gibt nur eine Kaiserstadt, - Es gibt nur ein Wien; - Es gibt nur ein Raubernest, - Und das heisst Berlin. - - -I had a Bavarian friend in Berlin. We talked over the amazing -difference in temperament there {66} was between the Austrians and -the Prussians, and the curious charm there was about the former, -lacking in intellect though they might be, a charm wholly lacking in -the pushful, practical Prussians. My friend agreed, but claimed the -same attractive qualities for his own beloved Bavarians; "but," he -added impressively, "mark my words, in twenty years from now the -whole of Germany will be Prussianised!" ("_Ganz Deutschland wird -verpreussert werden_") Events have shown how absolutely correct my -Bavarian friend was in his forecast. - -In June, 1878, the great Congress for the settlement of the terms of -peace between Russia and Turkey assembled in Berlin. It was an -extraordinarily interesting occasion, for almost every single -European notability was to be seen in the German capital. The -Russian plenipotentiaries were the veteran Prince Gortchakoff and -Count Peter Schouvaloff, that most genial _faux-bonhomme_; the Turks -were championed by Ali Pasha and by Katheodory Pasha. Great Britain -was represented by Lords Beaconsfield and Salisbury; Austria by Count -Andrassy, the Prime Minister; France by M. Waddington. In spite of -the very large staff brought out from London by the British -plenipotentiaries, an enormous amount of work fell upon us at the -Embassy. - -To a youngster there is something very fascinating in being regarded -as so worthy of confidence that the most secret details of the great -game of diplomacy were all known to him from {67} day to day. A boy -of twenty-one feels very proud of the trust reposed in him, and at -being the repository of such weighty and important secrets. That is -the traditional method of the British Diplomatic Service. - -As all the Embassies gave receptions in honour of their own -plenipotentiaries, we met almost nightly all the great men of Europe, -and had occasional opportunities for a few words with them. Prince -Gortchakoff, who fancied himself Bismarck's only rival, was a little, -short, tubby man in spectacles; wholly undistinguished in appearance, -and looking for all the world like an average French provincial -notaire. Count Andrassy, the Hungarian, was a tall, strikingly -handsome man, with an immense head of hair. To me, he always -recalled the leader of a "Tzigane" orchestra. M. Waddington talked -English like an Englishman, and was so typically British in -appearance that it was almost impossible to realise that he was a -Frenchman. Our admiration for him was increased when we learnt that -he had rowed in the Cambridge Eight. But without any question -whatever, the personality which excited the greatest interest at the -Berlin Congress was that of Lord Beaconsfield, the Jew who by sheer -force of intellect had raised himself from nothing into his present -commanding position. His peculiar, colourless, inscrutable face, -with its sphinx-like impassiveness; the air of mystery which somehow -clung about him; the romantic story of his career; even the remnants -of {68} dandyism which he still retained in his old age--all these -seemed to whet the insatiable public curiosity about him. Some -enterprising Berlin tradesmen had brought out fans, with leaves -composed of plain white vellum, designed expressly for the Congress. -Armed with one of these fans, and with pen and ink, indefatigable -feminine autograph-hunters moved about at these evening receptions, -securing the signatures of the plenipotentiaries on the white vellum -leaves. Many of those fans must still be in existence, and should -prove very interesting to-day. Bismarck alone invariably refused his -autograph. - -At all these gatherings, M. de Blowitz, the then Paris correspondent -of the _Times_, was much to the fore. In the "'seventies" the -prestige of the _Times_ on the Continent of Europe was enormous. In -reality the influence of the _Times_ was very much overrated, since -all Continentals persisted in regarding it as the inspired mouthpiece -of the British Government. Great was the _Times_, but greater still -was de Blowitz, its prophet. This most remarkable man was a -veritable prince of newspaper correspondents. There was no move on -the European chess-board of which he was not cognisant, and as to -which he did not keep his paper well informed, and his information -was always accurate. De Blowitz knew no English, and his lengthy -daily telegrams to the _Times_ were always written in French and were -translated in London. He was really a Bohemian Jew of the name of -{69} Oppen, and he had bestowed the higher-sounding name of de -Blowitz on himself. He was a very short, fat little man, with -immensely long grey side-whiskers, and a most consequential manner. -He was a very great personage indeed in official circles. De Blowitz -has in his Memoirs given a full account of the trick by which he -learnt of the daily proceedings of the Congress and so transmitted -them to his paper. I need not, therefore, go into details about -this; it is enough to say that a daily exchange of hats, in the -lining of the second of which a summary of the day's deliberations -was concealed, played a great part in it. - -When the Treaty had been drawn up in French, Lord Salisbury rather -startled us by saying that he wished it translated into English and -cyphered to London that very evening _in extenso_. This was done to -obviate the possibility of the news-paper correspondents getting a -version of the Treaty through to London before the British Government -had received the actual text. As the Treaty was what I, in the light -of later experiences, would now describe as of fifteen thousand words -length, this was a sufficiently formidable undertaking. Fifteen of -us sat down to the task about 6 p.m., and by working at high pressure -we got the translation finished and the last cyphered sheet sent off -to the telegraph office by 5 a.m. The translation done at such -breakneck speed was possibly a little crude in places. One clause in -the Treaty provided that ships in ballast were to have {70} free -passage through the Dardanelles. Now the French for "ships in -ballast," is "_navires en lest_." The person translating this (who -was not a member of the British Diplomatic Service) rendered -"_navires en lest_" as "ships in the East," and in this form it was -cyphered to London. As, owing to the geographical position of the -Dardanelles, any ship approaching them would be, in one sense of the -term, a "ship in the East," there was considerable perturbation in -Downing Street over this clause, until the mistake was discovered. - -Berlin has wonderful natural advantages, considering that it is -situated in a featureless, sandy plain. In my day it was quite -possible to walk from the Embassy into a real, wild pine-forest, the -Grünewald. The Grünewald, being a Royal forest, was unbuilt on, and -quite unspoilt. It extended for miles, enclosing many pretty little -lakelets. Now I understand that it has been invaded by "villa -colonies," so its old charm of wildness must have vanished. The -Tiergarten, too, the park of Berlin, retains in places the look of a -real country wood. It is inadvisable to venture into the Tiergarten -after nightfall, should you wish to retain possession of your watch, -purse, and other portable property. The sandy nature of the soil -makes it excellent for riding. Within quite a short distance of the -city you can find tracts of heathery moor, and can get a good gallop -almost anywhere. - -There is quite fair partridge-shooting, too, within {71} a few miles -of Berlin, in the immense potato fields, though the entire absence of -cover in this hedgeless land makes it very difficult at times to -approach the birds. It is pre-eminently a country for "driving" -partridges, though most Germans prefer the comparatively easy shots -afforded by "walking the birds up." - -Potsdam has had but scant justice done it by foreigners. The town is -almost surrounded by the river Havel, which here broadens out into a -series of winding, wooded lakes, surrounded by tree-clad hills. The -Potsdam lakes are really charmingly pretty, and afford an admirable -place for rowing or sailing. Neither of these pursuits seems to make -the least appeal to Germans. The Embassy kept a small yacht at -Potsdam, but she was practically the only craft then on the lakes. -As on all narrow waters enclosed by wooded hills, the sailing was -very tricky, owing to the constant shifting of the wind. Should it -be blowing fresh, it was advisable to sail under very light canvas; -and it was always dangerous to haul up the centre-board, even when -"running," as on rounding some wooded point you would get "taken -aback" to a certainty. Once in the fine open stretch of water -between Wansee and Spandau, you could hoist every stitch of canvas -available, and indulge with impunity in the most complicated nautical -manoeuvres. Possibly my extreme fondness for the Potsdam lakes may -be due to their extraordinary resemblance to the lakes at my own -Northern country home. - -{72} - -The Embassy also owned a light Thames-built four-oar. At times a -short, thick-set young man of nineteen pulled bow in our four. The -short young man had a withered arm, and the doctors hoped that the -exercise of rowing might put some strength into it. He seemed quite -a commonplace young man, yet this short, thick-set youth was destined -less than forty years after to plunge the world into the greatest -calamity it has ever known; to sacrifice millions and millions of -human lives to his own inordinate ambition; and to descend to -posterity as one of the most sinister characters in the pages of -history. - -Moored in the "Jungfernsee," one of the Potsdam lakes, lay a -miniature sailing frigate, a complete model of a larger craft down to -the smallest details. This toy frigate had been a present from King -William IV of England to the then King of Prussia. The little -frigate had been built in London, and though of only 30-tons burden, -had been sailed down the Thames, across the North Sea, and up the -Elbe and Havel to Potsdam, by a British naval officer. A pretty bit -of seamanship! I have always heard that it was the sight of this toy -frigate, lying on the placid lake at Potsdam, that first inspired -William of Hohenzollern with the idea of building a gigantic navy. - -The whole history of the world might have been changed by an incident -which occurred on these same Potsdam lakes in 1880. I have already -said that William of Hohenzollern, then only Prince {73} William, -pulled at times in our Embassy four, in the hope that it might -strengthen his withered arm. He was very anxious to see if he could -learn to scull, in spite of his physical defect, and asked the -Ambassadress, Lady Ampthill, whether she would herself undertake to -coach him. Lady Ampthill consented, and met Prince William next day -at the landing-stage with a light Thames-built skiff, belonging to -the Embassy. Lady Ampthill, with the caution of one used to light -boats, got in carefully, made her way aft, and grasped the -yoke-lines. She then explained to Prince William that this was not a -heavy boat such as he had been accustomed to, that he must exercise -extreme care, and in getting in must tread exactly in the centre of -the boat. William of Hohenzollern, who had never taken advice from -anyone in his life, and was always convinced that he himself knew -best, responded by jumping into the boat from the landing-stage, -capsizing it immediately, and throwing himself and Lady Ampthill into -the water. Prince William, owing to his malformation, was unable to -swim one stroke, but help was at hand. Two of the Secretaries of the -British Embassy had witnessed the accident, and rushed up to aid. -The so-called "Naval Station" was close by, where the Emperor's -Potsdam yacht lay, a most singularly shabby old paddle-boat. Some -German sailors from the "Naval Post" heard the shouting and ran up, -and a moist, and we will trust a chastened William and a dripping -Ambassadress were {74} eventually rescued from the lake. Otherwise -William of Hohenzollern might have ended his life in the -"Jungfernsee" at Potsdam that day, and millions of other men would -have been permitted to live out their allotted span of existence. - -Potsdam itself is quite a pleasing town, with a half-Dutch, -half-Italian physiognomy. Both were deliberately borrowed; the first -by Frederick William I, who constructed the tree-lined canals which -give Potsdam its half-Batavian aspect; the second by Frederick the -Great, who fronted Teutonic dwellings with façades copied from Italy -to add dignity to the town. It must in justice be added that both -are quite successful, though Potsdam, like most other things -connected with the Hohenzollerns, has only a couple of hundred years' -tradition behind it. The square opposite the railway really does -recall Italy. The collection of palaces at Potsdam is bewildering. -Of these, three are of the first rank: the Town Palace, Sans-souci, -and the great pile of the "New Palace." Either Frederick the Great -was very fortunate in his architects, or else he chose them with -great discrimination. The Town Palace, even in my time but seldom -inhabited, is very fine in the finished details of its decoration. -Sans-souci is an absolute gem; its rococo style may be a little -over-elaborate, but it produces the effect of a finished, complete -whole, in the most admirable taste; even though the exuberant -imagination of the eighteenth century has been allowed to run riot in -it. The gardens of Sans-souci, too, {75} are most attractive. The -immense red-brick building of the New Palace was erected by Frederick -the Great during the Seven Years' War, out of sheer bravado. He was -anxious to impress on his enemies the fact that his financial -resources were not yet exhausted. Considering that he already -possessed two stately palaces within a mile of it, the New Palace may -be looked upon as distinctly a work of supererogation, also as an -appalling waste of money. As a piece of architecture, it is -distinctly a success. This list does not, however, nearly exhaust -the palatial resources of Potsdam. The eighteenth century had -contributed its successes; it remained for the nineteenth to add its -failures. Babelsberg, the old Emperor William's favourite residence, -was an awful example of a ginger-bread pseudo-Gothic castle. The -Marble Palace on the so-called "Holy Lake" was a dull, unimaginative -building; and the "Red Prince's" house at Glienicke was frankly -terrible. The main features of this place was an avenue of huge -cast-iron gilded lions. These golden lions were such a blot on an -otherwise charming landscape that one felt relieved by recalling that -the apparently ineradicable tendency of the children of Israel to -erect Golden Calves at various places in olden days had always been -severely discountenanced. - -In spite of the carpenter-Gothic of Babelsberg, and of the pinchbeck -golden lions of Glienicke, Potsdam will remain in my mind, to the end -of my life, associated with memories of fresh breezes {76} and -bellying sails; of placid lakes and swift-gliding keels responding to -the straining muscles of back and legs; a place of verdant hills -dipping into clear waters; of limbs joyously cleaving those clear -waters with all the exultation of the swimmer; a place of rest and -peace, with every fibre in one's being rejoicing in being away, for -the time being, from crowded cities and stifling streets, in the free -air amidst woods, waters, and gently-swelling, tree-clad heights. - -A year later, I was notified that I was transferred to Petrograd, -then of course still known as St. Petersburg. This was in accordance -with the dearest wish of my heart. Ever since my childhood's days I -had been filled with an intense desire to go to Russia. Like most -people unacquainted with the country, I had formed the most -grotesquely incorrect mental pictures of Russia. I imagined it a -vast Empire of undreamed of magnificence, pleasantly tempered with -relics of barbarism; and all these glittering splendours were -enveloped in the snow and ice of a semi-Arctic climate, which gave -additional piquancy to their glories. I pictured huge tractless -forests, their dark expanse only broken by the shimmering golden -domes of the Russian churches. I fancied this glamour-land peopled -by a species of transported French, full of culture, and all of them -polyglot, more brilliant and infinitely more intellectual than their -West European prototypes. I imagined this hyperborean paradise -served by a race of super-astute {77} diplomatists and officials, -with whom we poor Westerners could not hope to contend, and by -Generals whom no one could withstand. The evident awe with which -Germans envisaged their Eastern neighbours strengthened this idea, -and both in England and in France I had heard quite responsible -persons gloomily predict, after contemplating the map, that the -Northern Colossus was fatally destined at some time to absorb the -whole of the rest of Europe. - -Apart then from its own intrinsic attraction, I used to gaze at the -map of Russia with some such feelings as, I imagine, the early -Christians experienced when, on their Sunday walks in Rome, they went -to look at the lions in their dens in the circus, and speculated as -to their own sensations when, as seemed but too probable, they might -have to meet these interesting quadrupeds on the floor of the arena, -in a brief, exciting, but definitely final encounter. - -Everything I had seen or heard about this mysterious land had -enhanced its glamour. The hair-raising rumours which reached Berlin -as to revolutionary plots and counter-plots; the appalling stories -one heard about the terrible secret police; the atmosphere of -intrigue which seemed indigenous to the place--all added to its -fascinations. Even the externals were attractive. I had attended -weddings and funeral services at the chapel of the Russian Embassy. -Here every detail was exotic, and utterly dissimilar to anything in -one's previous {78} experience. The absence of seats, organ, or -pulpit in the chapel itself; the elaborate Byzantine decorations of -the building; the exquisitely beautiful but quite unfamiliar singing; -the long-bearded priests in their archaic vestments of unaccustomed -golden brocades--everything struck a novel note. It all came from a -world apart, centuries removed from the prosaic routine of Western -Europe. - -Even quite minor details, such as the curiously sumptuous Russian -national dresses of the ladies of the Embassy at Court functions, the -visits to Berlin of the Russian ballets and troupes of Russian -singing gipsies, had all the same stamp of strong racial -individuality, of something temperamentally different from all we had -been accustomed to. - -I was overjoyed at the prospect of seeing for myself at last this -land of mingled splendour and barbarism, this country which had -retained its traditional racial characteristics in spite of the -influences of nineteenth century drab uniformity of type. - -As the Petrograd Embassy was short-handed at the time, it was settled -that I should postpone my leave for some months and proceed to Russia -without delay. - -The Crown Prince and Crown Princess, who had been exceedingly kind to -me during my stay in Berlin, were good enough to ask me to the New -Palace at Potsdam for one night, to take leave of them. - -{79} - -I had never before had an opportunity of going all over the New -Palace. I thought it wonderfully fine, though quite French in -feeling. The rather faded appearance of some of the rooms increased -their look of dignity. It was not of yesterday. The great "Shell -Hall," or "Muschel-Saal," much admired of Prussians, is frankly -horrible; one of the unfortunate aberrations of eighteenth century -taste of which several examples occur in English country-houses of -the same date. - -My own bedroom was charming; of the purest Louis XV, with apple-green -polished panelling and heavily silvered mouldings and mirrors. - -Nothing could be more delightful than the Crown Prince's manner on -occasions such as this. The short-lived Emperor Frederick had the -knack of blending absolute simplicity with great dignity, as had the -Empress Frederick. For the curious in such matters, and as an -instance of the traditional frugality of the Prussian Court, I may -add that supper that evening, at which only the Crown Prince and -Princess, the equerry and lady-in-waiting, and myself were present, -consisted solely of curds and whey, veal cutlets, and a rice pudding. -Nothing else whatever. We sat afterwards in a very stately, lofty, -thoroughly French room. The Crown Prince, the equerry, and myself -drank beer, whilst the Prince smoked his long pipe. It seemed -incongruous to drink beer amid such absolutely French surroundings. -I noticed that the Crown Princess always laid down her needlework to -refill {80} her husband's pipe and to bring him a fresh tankard of -beer. The "Kronprinzliches Paar," as a German would have described -them, were both perfectly charming in their conversation with a dull, -uninteresting youth of twenty-one. They each had marvellous -memories, and recalled many trivial half-forgotten details about my -own family. That evening in the friendly atmosphere of the great, -dimly-lit room in the New Palace at Potsdam will always live in my -memory. - -Two days afterwards I drove through the trim, prosaic, well-ordered, -stuccoed streets of Berlin to the Eastern Station; for me, the -gateway to the land of my desires, vast, mysterious Russia. - - - - -{81} - -CHAPTER III - -The Russian frontier--Frontier police--Disappointment at aspect of -Petrograd--Lord and Lady Dufferin--The British Embassy--St. Isaac's -Cathedral--Beauty of Russian Church-music--The Russian language--The -delightful "Blue-stockings" of Petrograd--Princess Chateau--Pleasant -Russian Society--The Secret Police--The Countess's hurried -journey--The Yacht Club--Russians really Orientals--Their -limitations--The "Intelligenzia"--My Nihilist friends--Their lack of -constructive power--Easter Mass at St. Isaac's--Two comical -incidents--The Easter supper--The red-bearded young priest--An Empire -built on shifting sand. - - -Petrograd is 1,050 miles from Berlin, and forty years ago the fastest -trains took forty-five hours to cover the distance between the two -capitals. In later years the "Nord-Express" accomplishing the -journey in twenty-nine hours. - -Rolling through the flat fertile plains of East Prussia, with their -neat, prosperous villages and picturesque black-and-white farms, the -surroundings had such a commonplace air that it was difficult to -realise that one was approaching the very threshold of the great, -mysterious Northern Empire. - -Eydkuhnen, the last Prussian station, was as other Prussian stations, -built of trim red brick, neat, practical, and very ugly; with crowds -of red-faced, amply-paunched officials, buttoned into the tightest of -uniforms, perpetually saluting each other. - -{82} - -Wierjbolovo, or Wirballen Station as the Germans call it, a huge -white building, was plainly visible only a third of a mile away. At -Wirballen the German train would stop, for whereas the German -railways are built to the standard European gauge of 4 feet 8½ -inches, the Russian lines were laid to a gauge of 5 feet 1 inch. - -This gauge had been deliberately chosen to prevent the invasion of -Russia by her Western neighbour. This was to prove an absolutely -illusory safeguard, for, as events have shown, nothing is easier than -to _narrow_ a railway track. To broaden it is often quite -impossible. The cunning little Japs found this out during the -Russo-Japanese War. They narrowed the broad Russian lines to their -own gauge of 3 feet 6 inches, _and then sawed off the ends of the -sleepers_ with portable circular saws, thus making it impossible for -the Russians to relay the rails on the broad gauge. I believe that -the Germans adopted the same device more recently. - -I think at only one other spot in the world does a short quarter of a -mile result in such amazing differences in externals as does that -little piece of line between Eydkuhnen and Wirballen; and that is at -Linea, the first Spanish village out of Gibraltar. - -Leaving the prim and starched orderliness of Gibraltar, with its -thick coating of British veneer, its tidy streets and buildings -enlivened with the scarlet tunics of Mr. Thomas Atkins and his -brethren, {83} you traverse the "Neutral Ground" to an iron railing, -and literally pass into Spain through an iron gate. The contrast is -extraordinary. It would be unfair to select Linea as a typical -Spanish village; it is ugly, and lacks the picturesque features of -the ordinary Andalusian village; it is also unquestionably very -dirty, and very tumble-down. Between Eydkuhnen and Wirballen the -contrast is just as marked. As the German train stopped, hosts of -bearded, shaggy-headed individuals in high boots and long white -aprons (surely a curious article of equipment for a railway porter) -swooped down upon the hand-baggage; I handed my passport to a -gendarme (a term confined in Russia to frontier and railway police) -and passed through an iron gate into Russia. - -Russia in this case was represented by a gigantic whitewashed hall, -ambitious originally in design and decoration, but, like most things -in Russia, showing traces of neglect and lack of cleanliness. The -first exotic note was struck by a full-length, life-size ikon of the -Saviour, in a solid silver frame, at the end of the hall. All my -Russian fellow-travellers devoutly crossed themselves before this -ikon, purchased candles at an adjoining stall, and fixed them in the -silver holders before the ikon. - -Behind the line of tables serving for the Customs examinations was a -railed-off space, containing many desks under green-shaded lamps. -Here some fifteen green-coated men whispered mysteriously to each -other, referring continually to huge registers. {84} I felt a thrill -creep down my back; here I found myself at last face to face with the -omnipotent Russian police. The bespectacled green-coated men -scrutinised passports intently, conferred amongst themselves in -whispers under the green-shaded lamps, and hunted ominously through -the big registers. For the first time I became unpleasantly -conscious of the existence of such places as the Fortress of St. -Peter and St. Paul, and of a country called Siberia. I speculated as -to whether the drawbacks of the Siberian climate had not been -exaggerated, should one be compelled to make a possibly prolonged -sojourn in that genial land. Above all, I was immensely impressed -with the lynx-eyed vigilance and feverish activity of these -green-coated guardians of the Russian frontier. From my subsequent -knowledge of the ways of Russian officials, I should gather that all -this feverish activity began one minute after the whistle announced -the approach of the Berlin train, and ceased precisely one minute -after the Petrograd train had pulled out, and that never, by any -chance, did the frontier police succeed in stopping the entry of any -really dangerous conspirator. - -Diplomats with official passports are exempt from Customs -formalities, so I passed on to the platform, thick with pungent -wood-smoke, where the huge blue-painted Russian carriages smoked like -volcanoes from their heating apparatus, and the gigantic wood-burning -engine (built in Germany) vomited dense clouds from its funnel, -crowned with {85} a spark-arrester shaped like a mammoth tea urn, or -a giant's soup tureen. Everything in this country seemed on a large -scale. - -In the gaunt, bare, whitewashed restaurant (these three epithets are -applicable to almost every public room in Russia) with its great -porcelain stove, and red lamps burning before gilded ikons, I first -made the acquaintance of fresh caviar and raw herrings, of the -national cabbage soup, or "shtchee," of roast ryabehiks and salted -cucumbers, all destined to become very familiar. Railway restaurants -in Russia are almost invariably quite excellent. - -And so the train clanked out through the night, into the depths of -this mysterious glamour-land. - -The railway from the frontier to Petrograd runs for 550 miles through -an unbroken stretch of interminable dreary swamp and forest, such as -would in Canada be termed "muskag," with here and there a poor -attempt at cultivation in some clearing, set about with wretched -little wooden huts. After a twenty-four hours' run, without any -preliminary warning whatever in the shape of suburbs, the train -emerges from the forest into a huge city, with tramcars rolling in -all directions, and the great golden dome of St. Isaac's blazing like -a sun against the murky sky. - -I had pictured Petrograd to myself as a second Paris; a city -glittering with light and colour, but conceived on an infinitely more -grandiose scale than the French capital. - -We emerged from the station into an immensely {86} broad street -bordered by shabbily-pretentious buildings all showing signs of -neglect. The atrociously uneven pavements, the general untidiness, -the broad thoroughfare empty except for a lumbering cart or two, the -absence of foot-passengers, and the low cotton-wool sky, all gave an -effect of unutterable dreariness. And this was the golden city of my -dreams! this place of leprous-fronted houses, of vast open spaces -full of drifting snowflakes, and of an immense emptiness. I never -was so disappointed in my life. The gilt and coloured domes of the -Orthodox churches, the sheepskin-clad, red-shirted moujiks, the -occasional swift-trotting Russian carriages, with their bearded and -padded coachmen, were the only local touches that redeemed the -streets from the absolute commonplace. The Russian lettering over -the shops, which then conveyed nothing whatever to me, suggested that -the alphabet, having followed the national custom and got drunk, had -hastily re-affixed itself to the houses upside down. Although as the -years went on I grew quite attached to Petrograd, I could never rid -myself of this impression of its immense dreariness. This was due to -several causes. There are hardly any stone buildings in the city, -everything is of brick plastered over. Owing to climatic reasons the -houses are not painted, but are daubed with colour-wash. The -successive coats of colour-wash clog all the architectural features, -and give the buildings a shabby look, added to which the wash flakes -off under the winter snows. There is a natural craving {87} in human -nature for colour, and in a country wrapped in snow for at least four -months in the year this craving finds expression in painting the -roofs red, and in besmearing the houses with crude shades of red, -blue, green, and yellow. The result is not a happy one. Again, -owing to the intense cold, the shop-windows are all very small, and -there is but little display in them. Streets and shops were alike -very dimly lighted in my day, and as there is an entire absence of -cafés in Petrograd, there is none of the usual glitter and glare of -these places to brighten up the streets. The theatres make no -display of lights, so it is not surprising that the general effect of -the city is one of intense gloom. The very low, murky winter sky -added to this effect of depression. Peter the Great had planned his -new capital on such a gigantic scale that there were not enough -inhabitants to fill its vast spaces. The conceptions were -magnificent; the results disappointing. Nothing grander could be -imagined than the design of the immense _place_ opposite the Winter -Palace, with Alexander I's great granite monolith towering in the -midst of it, and the imposing semicircular sweep of Government -Offices of uniform design enclosing it, pierced in the centre by a -monumental triumphal arch crowned with a bronze quadriga. The whole -effect of this was spoilt by the hideous crude shade of red with -which the buildings were daubed, by the general untidiness, and by -the broken, uneven pavement; added to which this huge area was -usually untenanted, except by a {88} lumbering cart or two, by a -solitary stray "istvoschik," and an occasional muffled-up pedestrian. -The Petrograd of reality was indeed very different from the sumptuous -city of my dreams. - -For the second time I was extraordinarily lucky in my Chief. Our -relations with Russia had, during the "'seventies," been strained -almost to the breaking point. War had on several occasions seemed -almost inevitable between the two countries. - -Russians, naturally enough, had shown their feelings of hostility to -their potential enemies by practically boycotting the entire British -Embassy. The English Government had then made a very wise choice, -and had appointed to the Petrograd Embassy the one man capable of -smoothing these troubled relations. The late Lord Dufferin was not -then a diplomat by profession. He had just completed his term of -office as Governor-General of Canada, where, as in every position he -had previously occupied, he had been extraordinarily successful. -Lord Dufferin had an inexhaustible fund of patience, blended with the -most perfect tact; he had a charm of manner no human being could -resist; but under it all lay an inflexible will. No man ever -understood better the use of the iron hand under the velvet glove, -and in a twelvemonth from the date of his arrival in Petrograd he had -succeeded not only in gaining the confidence of official Russia, but -also in re-establishing the most cordial relations with Russian -society. In this he was very ably seconded by Lady Dufferin, who -combined a perfectly natural manner with {89} quiet dignity and a -curious individual charm. Both Lord and Lady Dufferin enjoyed -dancing, skating, and tobagganing as wholeheartedly as though they -were children. - -Our Petrograd Embassy was a fine old house, with a pleasant intimate -character about it lacking in the more ornate building at Berlin. It -contained a really beautiful snow-white ball-room, and all the -windows fronted the broad, swift-flowing Neva, with the exquisitely -graceful slender gilded spire of the Fortress Church, towering three -hundred feet aloft, opposite them. We had a very fine collection of -silver plate at the Embassy. This plate, valued at £30,000, was the -property of our Government, and had been sent out sixty years -previously by George IV, who understood the importance attached by -Russians to externals. We had also a small set, just sufficient for -two persons, of real gold plates. These solid gold plates were only -used by the Emperor and Empress on the very rare occasions when they -honoured the Embassy with their presence. I wonder what has happened -to that gold service now! - -Owing to the constant tension of the relations between Great Britain -and Russia, our work at the Petrograd Embassy was very heavy indeed -at that time. We were frequently kept up till 2 a.m. in the -Chancery, cyphering telegrams. All important written despatches -between London and Petrograd either way were sent by Queen's -Messenger open to Berlin, "under Flying Seal," as it is termed. The -Berlin Embassy was thus kept constantly posted as {90} to Russian -affairs. After reading our open despatches, both to and from London, -the Berlin Embassy would seal them up in a special way. We also got -duplicates, in cypher, of all telegrams received in London the -previous day from the Paris, Vienna, Berlin, and Constantinople -Embassies which bore in any way on Russia or the Eastern Question. -This gave us two or three hours' work decyphering every day. Both -cyphering and decyphering require the closest concentration, as one -single mistake may make nonsense of the whole thing; it is -consequently exhausting work. We were perfectly well aware that the -Russian Government had somehow obtained possession of one of our -codes. This particular "compromised code" was only used by us for -transmitting intelligence which the Russians were intended to know. -They could hardly blame us should they derive false impressions from -a telegram of ours which they had decyphered with a stolen code, nor -could they well admit that they had done this. - -As winter came on, I understood why Russians are so fond of gilding -the domes and spires of their churches. It must be remembered that -Petrograd lies on parallel 60° N. In December it only gets four -hours of very uncertain daylight, and the sun is so low on the -horizon that its rays do not reach the streets of the city. It is -then that the gilded domes flash and glitter, as they catch the beams -of the unseen sun. When the long golden needle of the Fortress -Church blazed like a flaming torch {91} or a gleaming spear of fire -against the murky sky, I thought it a splendid sight, as was the -great golden dome of St. Isaac's scintillating like a second sun over -the snow-clad roofs of the houses. - -Soon after my arrival I went to the vast church under the gilded dome -to hear the singing of the far-famed choir of St. Isaac's. - -Here were none of the accessories to which I had been accustomed; no -seats; no organ; no pulpit; no side-chapels. A blue haze of incense -drifted through the twilight of the vague spaces of the great -building; a haze glowing rosily where the red lamps burning before -the jewelled ikons gave a faint-dawnlike effect in the semi-darkness. -Before me the great screen of the "ikonostas" towered to the roof, -with its eight malachite columns forty feet high, and its two smaller -columns of precious lapis lazuli flanking the "Royal doors" into the -sanctuary. Surely Montferrand, the Frenchman, had designedly steeped -the cathedral he had built in perpetual twilight. In broad daylight -the juxtaposition of these costly materials, with their discordant -colours, would have been garish, even vulgar. Now, barely visible in -the shadows, they, the rich mosaics, the masses of heavily-gilt -bronze work in the ikonostas, gave an impression of barbaric -magnificence and immense splendour. The jasper and polychrome -Siberian marbles with which the cathedral was lined, the gold and -silver of the jewelled ikons, gleaming faintly in the candle-light, -strengthened this impression of sumptuous opulence. Then the choir, -standing {92} before the ikonostas, burst into song. The exquisitely -beautiful singing of the Russian Church was a perfect revelation to -me. I would not have believed it possible that unaccompanied human -voices could have produced so entrancing an effect. As the "Cherubic -Hymn" died away in softest _pianissimo_, its echoes floating into the -misty vastness of the dome, a deacon thundered out prayers in a -ringing bass, four tones deeper than those a Western European could -compass. The higher clergy, with their long flowing white beards, -jewelled crowns, and stiffly-archaic vestments of cloth of gold and -silver, seemed to have stepped bodily out of the frame of an ikon; -and the stately ritual of the Eastern Church gave me an impression as -of something of immemorial age, something separated by the gap of -countless centuries from our own prosaic epoch; and through it all -rose again and again the plaintive response of the choir, "Gospodi -pomiloi," "Lord have mercy," exquisitely sung with all the tenderness -and pathos of muted strings. - -This was at last the real Russia of my dreams. It was all as I had -vaguely pictured it to myself; the densely-packed congregation, with -sheepskin-clad peasant and sable-coated noble standing side by side, -all alike joining in the prescribed genuflections and prostrations of -the ritual; the singing-boys, with their close-cropped heads and -curious long blue dressing-gowns; the rolling consonants of the Old -Slavonic chanted by the priests; all this was really Russia, and not -a bastard imitation of an exotic {93} Western civilisation like the -pseudo-classic city outside. - -Two years later, Arthur Sullivan, the composer, happened to be in -Petrograd, and I took him to the practice of the Emperor's private -church choir. Sullivan was passionately devoted to unaccompanied -part-singing, and those familiar with his delightful light operas -will remember how he introduced into almost every one of them an -unaccompanied madrigal, or a sextet. Sullivan told me that he would -not have believed it possible for human voices to obtain the -string-like effect of these Russian choirs. He added that although -six English singing-boys would probably evolve a greater body of -sound than twelve Russian boys, no English choir-boy could achieve -the silvery tone these musical little Muscovites produced. - -People ignorant of the country have a foolish idea that all Russians -can speak French. That may be true of one person in two thousand of -the whole population. The remainder only speak their native Russ. -Not one cabman in Petrograd could understand a syllable of any -foreign language, and though in shops, very occasionally, someone -with a slight knowledge of German might be found, it was rare. All -the waiters in Petrograd restaurants were yellow-faced little -Mohammedan Tartars, speaking only Russian and their own language. I -determined therefore to learn Russian at once, and was fortunate in -finding a very clever teacher. All men should learn a foreign -language from a lady, {94} for natural courtesy makes one listen to -what she is saying; whereas with a male teacher one's attention is -apt to wander. The patient elderly lady who taught me knew neither -English nor French, so we used German as a means of communication. -Thanks to Madame Kumin's intelligence, and a considerable amount of -hard work on my own part, I was able to pass an examination in -Russian in eleven months, and to qualify as Interpreter to the -Embassy. The difficulties of the Russian language are enormously -exaggerated. The pronunciation is hard, as are the terminations; and -the appalling length of Russian words is disconcerting. In Russian, -great emphasis is laid on one syllable of a word, and the rest is -slurred over. It is therefore vitally important (should you wish to -be understood) to get the emphasis on the right syllable, and for -some mysterious reason no foreigner, even by accident, _ever succeeds -in pronouncing a Russian name right_. It is Schouvaloff, not -Schòuvaloff; Brusìl-off, not Brùsiloff; Demìd-off, not Dèmidoff. The -charming dancer's name is Pàv-Lova, not Pavlòva; her equally -fascinating rival is Karsàv-ina, not Karsavìna. I could continue the -list indefinitely. Be sure of one thing; however the name is -pronounced by a foreigner, it is absolutely certain to be wrong. - -What a wise man he was who first said that for every fresh language -you learn you acquire a new pair of eyes and a new pair of ears; I -felt immensely elated when I found that I could read the cabalistic -signs over the shops as easily as English lettering. - -{95} - -A relation of mine had given me a letter of introduction to Princess -B----. Now this old lady, though she but seldom left her own house, -was a very great power indeed in Petrograd, and was universally known -as the "Princesse Château." For some reason or another, I was lucky -enough to find favour in this dignified old lady's eyes. She asked -me to call on her again, and at our second meeting invited me to her -Sunday evenings. The Princesse Château's Sunday evenings were a -thing quite apart. They were a survival in Petrograd of the French -eighteenth century literary "salons," but devoid of the faintest -flavour of pedantry or priggism. Never in my life, before or since, -have I heard such wonderfully brilliant conversation, for, with the -one exception of myself, the Princesse Château tolerated no dull -people at her Sundays. She belonged to a generation that always -spoke French amongst themselves, and imported their entire culture -from France. Peter the Great had designed St. Petersburg as a window -through which to look on Europe, and the tradition of this amongst -the educated classes was long in dying out. The Princess assembled -some thirty people every Sunday, all Russians, with the exception of -myself. These people discussed any and every subject--literature, -art, music, and philosophy--with sparkling wit, keen critical -instinct, and extraordinary felicity of phrase, usually in French, -sometimes in English, and occasionally in Russian. Their knowledge -seemed encyclopædic, and they appeared equally at home in any of the -three {96} languages. They greatly appreciated a neatly-turned -epigram, or a novel, crisply-coined definition. Any topic, however, -touching directly or indirectly on the external or internal policy of -Russia was always tacitly avoided. My _rôle_ was perforce reduced to -that of a listener, but it was a perfectly delightful society. -Princesse Château had a very fine suite of rooms on the first floor -of her house, decorated "at the period" in Louis XVI style by -imported French artists; these rooms still retained their original -furniture and fittings, and were a museum of works of art; but her -Sunday evenings were always held in the charming but -plainly-furnished rooms which she herself inhabited on the ground -floor. We had one distinct advantage over the old French _salons_, -for Princesse Château entertained her guests every Sunday to suppers -which were justly celebrated in the gastronomic world of Petrograd. -During supper the conversation proceeded just as brilliantly as -before. There were always two or three Grand Duchesses present, for -to attend Princesse Château's Sundays was a sort of certificate of -culture. The Grand Duchesses were treated quite unceremoniously, -beyond receiving a perfunctory "Madame" in each sentence addressed to -them. How curious that, both in English and French, the highest -title of respect should be plain "Madame"! As the Russian equivalent -is "Vashoe Imperatorskoe Vuisochestvo," a considerable expenditure of -time and breath was saved by using the terser French term. And -through it all moved the mistress of the house, the stately {97} -little smiling old lady, in her plain black woollen dress and lace -cap, dropping here a quaint criticism, there an apt _bon-mot_. -Perfectly charming people! - -The relatives and friends of Princesse Château whom I met at her -house, when they discovered that I had a genuine liking for their -country, and that I did not criticise details of Russian -administration, were good enough to open their houses to me in their -turn. Though most of these people owned large and very fine houses, -they opened them but rarely to foreigners. They gave, very -occasionally, large entertainments to which they invited half -Petrograd, including the Diplomatic Body, but there they stopped. -They did not care, as a rule, to invite foreigners to share the -intimacy of their family life. I was very fortunate therefore in -having an opportunity of seeing a phase of Russian life which few -foreigners have enjoyed. Russians seldom do things by halves. I do -not believe that in any other country in the world could a stranger -have been made to feel himself so thoroughly at home amongst people -of a different nationality, and with such totally different racial -ideals; or have been treated with such constant and uniform kindness. -There was no ceremony whatever on either side, and on the Russian -side, at times, an outspokenness approaching bluntness. As I got to -know these cultivated, delightful people well, I grew very fond of -them. They formed a clique, possibly a narrow clique, amongst -themselves, and had that complete disregard for outside criticism -which is often found associated with {98} persons of established -position. They met almost nightly at each others' houses, and I -could not but regret that such beautiful and vast houses should be -seen by so few people. One house, in particular, contained a -staircase an exact replica of a Grecian temple in white statuary -Carrara marble, a thing of exquisite beauty. In their perpetual sets -of intellectual lawn tennis, if I may coin the term, the superiority -of the feminine over the male intellects was very marked. This is, I -believe, a characteristic of all Slavonic countries, and I recalled -Bismarck's dictum that the Slav peoples were essentially feminine, -and I wondered whether there could be any connection between the two -points. Living so much with Russians, it was impossible not to fall -into the Russian custom of addressing them by their Christian names -and patronymics; such as "Maria Vladimirovna" (Mary daughter of -Vladimir) or "Olga Andreèvna" (Olga daughter of Andrew) or "Pavel -Alexandrovitch" (Paul son of Alexander). I myself became Feòdor -Yàkovlevitch, (Frederic son of James, those being the nearest Russian -equivalents). On arriving at a house, the proper form of inquiry to -the hall porter was, "Ask Mary daughter of Vladimir if she will -receive Frederic son of James." In due time the answer came, "Mary -daughter of Vladimir begs Frederic son of James to go upstairs." My -own servants always addressed me punctiliously as Feòdor -Yàkovlevitch. On giving them an order they would answer in Moscovite -fashion, "I hear you, Frederic son of James," {99} the equivalent to -our prosaic, "Very good, sir." Amongst my new friends, as at the -Princesse Château's, no allusions whatever, direct or indirect, were -made to internal conditions in Russia. Apart from the fact that one -of these new friends was himself Minister of the Interior at the -time, it would not have been safe. In those days the Secret Police, -or "Third Section," as they were called, were very active, and their -ramifications extended everywhere. One night at a supper party a -certain Countess B---- criticised in very open and most unflattering -terms a lady to whom the Emperor Alexander II was known to be -devotedly attached. Next morning at 8 a.m. the Countess was awakened -by her terrified maid, who told her that the "Third Section" were -there and demanded instant admittance. Two men came into the -Countess's bedroom and informed her that their orders were that she -was to take the 12.30 train to Europe that morning. They would -remain with her till then, and would accompany her to the frontier. -As she would not be allowed to return to Russia for twelve months, -they begged her to order her maid to pack what was necessary; and no -one knew better than Countess B---- how useless any attempted -resistance would be. - -This episode made a great stir at the time. As the words complained -of had been uttered about 3 a.m., the police action had been -remarkably prompt. The informant must have driven straight from the -supper party to the "Third Section," and {100} everyone in Petrograd -had a very distinct idea who the informant was. Is it necessary to -add that she was a lady? - -Some of my new friends volunteered to propose and second me for the -Imperial Yacht Club. This was not the club that the diplomats -usually joined; it was a purely Russian club, and, in spite of its -name, had no connection with yachting. It had also the reputation of -being extremely exclusive, but thanks to my Russian sponsors, I got -duly elected to it. This was, I am sure, the most delightful club in -Europe. It was limited to 150 members of whom only two, besides -myself, were foreigners, and the most perfect _camaraderie_ existed -between the members. The atmosphere of the place was excessively -friendly and intimate, and the building looked more like a private -house than a club, as deceased members had bequeathed to it pictures, -a fine collection of old engravings, some splendid old Beauvais -tapestry, and a great deal of Oriental porcelain. Above all, we -commanded the services of the great Armand, prince of French chefs. -Associating so much with Russians, it was possible to see things from -their points of view. They all had an unshakable belief in the -absolute invincibility of Russia, and in her complete -invulnerability, for it must not be forgotten that in 1880 Russia had -never yet been defeated in any campaign, except partially in the -Crimean War of 1854-50. My friends did not hide their convictions -that it was Russia's manifest destiny to absorb in {101} time the -whole of the Asiatic Continent, including India, China, and Turkey. -There were grounds for this article of faith, for in 1880 Russia's -bloodless absorption of vast territories in Central Asia had been -astounding. It was not until the Russo-Japanese War of 1904-1905 -that the friable clay feet of the Northern Colossus were revealed to -the outside world, though those with a fairly intimate knowledge of -the country quite realised how insecure were the foundations on which -the stupendous structure of modern Russia had been erected. - -I am deeply thankful that the great majority of my old friends had -passed away in the ordinary course of nature before the Great -Catastrophe overwhelmed the mighty Empire in which they took such -deep pride; and that they were spared the sight and knowledge of the -awful orgy of blood, murder, and spoliation which followed the ruin -of the land they loved so well. Were they not now at rest, it would -be difficult for me to write of those old days. - -To grasp the Russian mentality, it must be remembered that they are -essentially Orientals. Russia is not the most Eastern outpost of -Western civilisation; it is the most Western outpost of the East. -Russians have all the qualities of the Oriental, his fatalism, his -inertness, and, I fear, his innate pecuniary corruption. Their -fatalism makes them accept their destiny blindly. What has been -ordained from the beginning of things is useless to fight against; it -must be accepted. The same {102} inertness characterises every -Eastern nation, and the habit of "baksheesh" is ingrained in the -Oriental blood. If the truth were known, we should probably find -that the real reason why Cain killed Abel was that the latter had -refused him a commission on some transaction or other. The fatalism -and lack of initiative are not the only Oriental traits in the -Russian character. In a hundred little ways they show their origin: -in their love of uncut jewels; in their lack of sense of time (the -Russian for "at once" is "si chas," which means "this hour"; an -instructive commentary); in the reluctance South Russians show in -introducing strangers to the ladies of their household, the Oriental -peeps out everywhere. Peter the Great could order his Boyards to -abandon their fur-trimmed velvet robes, to shave off their beards, -powder their heads, and array themselves in the satins and brocades -of Versailles. He could not alter the men and women inside the -French imported finery. He could abandon his old capital, matchless, -many-pinnacled Moscow, vibrant with every instinct of Russian -nationality; he could create a new pseudo-Western, sham-classical -city in the frozen marshes of the Neva; but even the Autocrat could -not change the souls of his people. Easterns they were, Easterns -they remained, and that is the secret of Russia, they are not -Europeans. Peter himself was so fully aware of the racial -limitations of his countrymen that he imported numbers of foreigners -to run the country; Germans as Civil and Military administrators; -{103} Dutchmen as builders and town-planners; and Englishmen to -foster its budding commerce. To the latter he granted special -privileges, and even in my time there was a very large English -commercial community in Petrograd; a few of them descendants of Peter -the Great's pioneers; the majority of them with hereditary business -connections with Russia. Their special privileges had gradually been -withdrawn, but the official name of the English Church in Petrograd -was still "British Factory in St. Petersburg," surely a curious title -for a place of worship. The various German-Russian families from the -Baltic Provinces, the Adlerbergs, the Benckendorffs, and the -Stackelbergs, had served Russia well. Under their strong guidance -she became a mighty Power, but when under Alexander III the reins of -government were confided to purely Russian hands, rapid deterioration -set in. This dreamy nation lacks driving power. In my time, the -very able Minister for Foreign Affairs, M. de Giers, was of German -origin, and his real name was Hirsch. His extremely wily and astute -second in command, Baron Jomini, was a Swiss. Modern Russia was -largely the creation of the foreigner. - -I saw a great deal, too, of a totally different stratum of Russian -society. Mr. X., the head of a large exporting house, was of British -origin, the descendant of one of Peter's commercial pioneers. He -himself, like his father and grandfather, had been born in Russia, -and though he retained his English speech, he had adopted all the -points of {104} view of the country of his birth. Madame X. came of -a family of the so-called "Intelligenzia." Most of her relatives -seemed to have undertaken compulsory journeys to Siberia, not as -prisoners, but for a given term of exile. Madame X.'s brother-in-law -owned and edited a paper of advanced views, which was being -continually suppressed, and had been the cause of two long trips -eastward for its editor and proprietor. Neither Mr. nor Madame X. -shared their relatives' extreme views. What struck me was that -behind the floods of vehement invective of Madame O---- (the editor's -wife) there was never the smallest practical suggestion. "You say, -Madame O----," I would hazard, "that the existing state of things is -intolerable. What remedy do you suggest?" "I am not the -Government," would retort Madame O---- with great heat. "It is for -the Government to make suggestions. I only denounce an abominable -injustice." "Quite so, Madame O----, but how can these conditions be -improved. What is your programme of reform?" "We have nothing to do -with reforms. Our mission is to destroy utterly. Out of the ruins a -better state of things must necessarily arise; as nothing could -possibly be worse than present conditions." And so we travelled -round and round in a circle. Mr. O----, when appealed to, would -blink through his spectacles with his kindly old eyes, and emit a -torrent of admirable moral aphorisms, which might serve as -unimpeachable copy-book headings, but had no bearing whatever {105} -on the subject we were discussing. Never once amidst these floods of -bitter invective and cataracts of fierce denunciation did I hear one -single practical suggestion made or any outline traced of a scheme to -better existing conditions. "We must destroy," shouted Madame O----, -and there her ideas stopped. I think the Slavonic bent of mind, like -the Celtic, is purely _des_tructive, and has little or no -_con_structive power in it. This may be due to the ineradicable -element of the child in both races. They are "Peter Pans," and a -child loves destruction. - -Poor dreamy, emotional, hopelessly unpractical Russia! Madame -O----'s theories have been put into effect now, and we all know how -appalling the result has been. - -These conversations were always carried on in French for greater -safety in order that the servants might not overhear, but when Mr. -and Madame O---- found difficulties in expressing themselves in that -language, they both broke into torrents of rapid Russian, to poor -Madame X.'s unconcealed terror. The danger was a real one, for the -O----'s were well known in police circles as revolutionists, and it -must have gone hard with the X.'s had their servants reported to the -police the violent opinions that had been expressed in their house. - -Many of the Diplomatic Body were in the habit of attending the -midnight Mass at St. Isaac's on Easter Day, on account of the -wonderfully impressive character of the service. We were always -{106} requested to come in full uniform, with decorations and we -stood inside the rails of the ikonostas, behind the choir. The time -to arrive was about 11.30 p.m., when the great church, packed to its -doors by a vast throng, was wrapped in almost total darkness. Under -the dome stood a catafalque bearing a gilt coffin. This open coffin -contained a strip of silk, on which was painted an effigy of the dead -Christ, for it will be remembered that no carved or graven image is -allowed in a church of the Eastern rite. There was an arrangement by -which a species of blind could be drawn over the painted figure, thus -concealing it. As the eye grew accustomed to the shadows, tens of -thousands of unlighted candles, outlining the arches, cornices, and -other architectural features of the cathedral, were just visible. -These candles each had their wick touched with kerosine and then -surrounded with a thread of guncotton, which ran continuously from -candle to candle right round the building. When the hanging end of -the thread of gun-cotton was lighted, the flame ran swiftly round the -church, kindling each candle in turn; a very fascinating sight. At -half-past eleven, the only light was from the candles surrounding the -bier, where black-robed priests were chanting the mournful Russian -Office for the Dead. At about twenty minutes to twelve the blind was -drawn over the dead Christ, and the priests, feigning surprise, -advanced to the rails of the ikonostas, and announced to an -Archimandrite that the coffin was empty. The Archimandrite ordered -them {107} to search round the church, and the priests perambulated -the church with gilt lanterns, during which time the catafalque, -bier, and its accessories were all removed. The priests announced to -the Archimandrite that their search had been unsuccessful, whereupon -he ordered them to make a further search outside the church. They -went out, and so timed their return as to arrive before the ikonostas -at three minutes before midnight. They again reported that they had -been unsuccessful; when, as the first stroke of midnight pealed from -the great clock, the Metropolitan of Petrograd announced in a loud -voice, "Christ is risen!" At an electric signal given from the -cathedral, the great guns of the fortress boomed out in a salute of -one hundred and one guns; the gun-cotton was touched off, and the -swift flash kindled the tens of thousands of candles running round -the building; the enormous congregation lit the tapers they carried; -the "Royal doors" of the ikonostas were thrown open, and the clergy -appeared in their festival vestments of cloth of gold, as the choir -burst into the beautiful Russian Easter anthem, and so the Easter -Mass began. Nothing more poignantly dramatic, more magnificently -impressive, could possibly be imagined than this almost instantaneous -change from intense gloom to blazing light; from the plaintive dirges -of the Funeral Service to the jubilant strains of the Easter Mass. I -never tired of witnessing this splendid piece of symbolism. - -It sounds almost irreverent to talk of comical {108} incidents in -connection with so solemn an occasion, but there are two little -episodes I must mention. About 1880 the first tentative efforts were -made by France to establish a Franco-Russian alliance. Ideas on the -subject were very nebulous at first, but slowly they began to -crystallise into concrete shape. A new French Ambassador was -appointed to Petrograd in the hope of fanning the faint spark into -further life. He, wishing to show his sympathy for the _nation -amie_, attended the Easter Mass at St. Isaac's, but unfortunately he -was quite unversed in the ritual of the Orthodox Church. In every -ikonostas there are two ikons on either side of the "Royal doors"; -the Saviour on one side, the Madonna and Child on the other. The new -Ambassador was standing in front of the ikon of the Saviour, and in -the course of the Mass the Metropolitan came out, and made the three -prescribed low bows before the ikon, previous to censing it. The -Ambassador, taking this as a personal compliment to France, as -represented in his own person, acknowledged the attention with three -equally low bows, laying his hand on his heart and ejaculating with -all the innate politeness of his nation, "Monsieur! Monsieur! -Monsieur!" This little incident caused much amusement, as did a -newly-arrived German diplomat, who when greeted by a Russian friend -with the customary Easter salutation of "Christ is risen!" ("Kristos -voskress!") wished to respond, but, being ignorant of the traditional -answer, "He is verily risen," merely made {109} a low bow and said, -"Ich auch," which may be vulgarly Englished into "The same here." - -The universal Easter suppers at the conclusion of the Mass play an -important part in Russian life, for they mean the breaking of the -long and rigorous Lenten fast of the Eastern Church, during which all -meat, butter, milk, and eggs are prohibited. The peasants adhere -rigidly to these rules, so the Easter supper assumes great importance -in their eyes. The ingredients of this supper are invariable for -high and low, for rich and poor--cold ham, hard-boiled eggs dyed red, -a sort of light cake akin to the French _brioche_, and a sour -cream-cheese shaped into a pyramid and decorated with little crosses -of dried currants. I think that this cake and cream cheese (known as -"Paskva") are prepared only at Easter-time. Even at the Yacht Club -during Holy Week, meat, butter, milk, and eggs were prohibited, and -still Armand, our incomparable French chef, managed to produce -_plats_ of the most succulent description. Loud praises were -lavished upon his skill in preparing such excellent dishes out of -oil, fish, flour, and vegetables, the only materials allowed him. I -met Armand in the passage one day and asked him how he managed to do -it. Looking round to see that no Russians could overhear, Armand -replied with a wink, "Voyez-vous Monsieur, le bon Dieu ne regarde pas -d'aussi près." Of course he had gone on using cream, butter, and -eggs, just as usual, but as the members of the Club did not know -this, and thought {110} that they were strictly obeying the rules of -their Church, I imagine that no blame could attach to them. - -On Easter Eve the two-mile-long Nevsky Perspective was lined with -humble folks standing by white napkins on which the materials for -their Easter supper were arranged. On every napkin glimmered a -lighted taper, and the long line of these twinkling lights produced a -very charming effect, as of myriads of glow-worms. Priests would -pass swiftly down the line, each attended by an acolyte carrying a -pail of holy water. The priest would mutter a rapid blessing, -sprinkle the food and its owner with holy water, pocket an -infinitesimally small fee, and pass on again. - -A friend of mine was once down in the fruit-growing districts of the -Crimea. Passing through one of the villages of that pleasing -peninsula, he found it decorated in honour of a religious festival. -The village priest was going to bless the first-fruits of the -orchards. The peasants stood in a row down the village street, each -one with the first crop of his orchard arranged on a clean napkin -before him. The red-bearded priest, quite a young man, passed down -the street, sprinkling fruit and grower alike with holy water, and -repeating a blessing to each one. The young priest approached, and -my friend could hear quite plainly the words of his blessing. No. ----- it was quite impossible! It was incredible! and yet he could -not doubt the evidence of his own ears! The young priest was -speaking in good Scots, {111} and the words of the blessing he -bestowed on each parishioner were, "Here, man! tak' it. If it does -ye nae guid, it canna possibly dae ye any hairm." The men addressed, -probably taking this for a quotation from Scripture in some unknown -tongue, bowed reverently as the words were pronounced over them. -That a Russian village priest in a remote district of the Crimea -should talk broad Scots was a sufficiently unusual circumstance to -cause my friend to make some further inquiries. It then appeared -that when the Government dockyard at Sebastopol was reopened, several -Scottish foremen from the Clyde shipbuilding yards were imported to -supervise the Russian workmen. Amongst others came a Glasgow foreman -with his wife and a son who was destined for the ministry of the Free -Church of Scotland. Once arrived in Russia, they found that -facilities for training a youth for the Presbyterian ministry were -somewhat lacking in Sebastopol. Sooner than sacrifice their dearest -wish, the parents, with commendable broadmindedness, decided that -their offspring should enter the Russian Church. He was accordingly -sent to a seminary and in due course was ordained a priest and -appointed to a parish, but he apparently still retained his Scottish -speech and his characteristically Scottish independence of view. - -After a year in Petrograd I used to attempt to analyse to myself the -complex Russian character. "We are a 'jelly-folk,'" had said one of -my friends to me. The Russian term was "Kiselnui {112} narod," and I -think there is truth in that. They _are_ an invertebrate folk. I -cannot help thinking that Peter the Great was one of the worst -enemies of his own country. Instead of allowing Russia to develop -naturally on lines suited to the racial instincts of her people, he -attempted to run the whole country into a West European mould, and to -superimpose upon it a veneer imported from the France of Louis -Quatorze. With the very few this could perhaps succeed, with the -many it was a foregone failure. He tried in one short lifetime to do -what it had taken other countries centuries to accomplish. He built -a vast and imposing edifice on shifting sand, without any -foundations. It might stand for a time; its ultimate doom was -certain. - -From the windows of our Embassy we looked upon the broad Neva. When -fast bound in the grip of winter, sledge-roads were made across the -ice, bordered with lamp-posts and marked out with sawn-off fir trees. -Little wooden taverns and tea-houses were built on the river, and as -soon as the ice was of sufficient thickness the tramcar lines were -laid across it. A colony of Laps came yearly and encamped on the -river with their reindeer, for the temperature of Petrograd rarely -falling more than ten degrees below zero, it was looked upon as a -genial winter climate for invalids from Lapland. A stranger from -another planet might have imagined that these buildings were -permanent, that the fir trees were really growing, and that all the -life {113} on the frozen river would last indefinitely. Everyone -knew, though, with absolute certainty that by the middle of April the -ice would break up, and that these little houses, if not removed in -time, would be carried away and engulfed in the liberated stream. By -May the river would be running again as freely as though these -temporary edifices had never been built on it. - -I think these houses built on the ice were very typical of Russia. - - - - -{114} - -CHAPTER IV - -The Winter Palace--Its interior--Alexander II--A Russian Court -Ball--The "Bals des Palmiers"--The Empress--The blessing of the -Neva--Some curiosities of the Winter Palace--The great Orloff -diamond--My friend the Lady-in-Waiting--Sugared Compensations--The -attempt on the Emperor's life of 1880--Some unexpected finds in the -Palace--A most hilarious funeral--Sporting expeditions--Night drives -through the forest in mid-winter--Wolves--A typical Russian -village--A peasant's house--"Deaf and dumb people"--The inquisitive -peasant youth--Curiosity about strangers--An embarrassing -situation--A still more awkward one--Food difficulties--A bear -hunt--My first bear--Alcoholic consequences--My liking for the -Russian peasant--The beneficent india-rubber Ikon--Two curious -sporting incidents--Village habits--The great gulf fixed between -Russian nobility and peasants. - - -The Winter Palace drags its lengthy, uninteresting façade for some -five hundred feet along the quays of the Neva. It presents a mere -wearisome iteration of the same architectural features repeated again -and again, and any effect it might produce is marred by the hideous -shade of that crude red, called by the Russians "raspberry colour," -with which it is daubed, and for which they have so misplaced an -affection. - -{115} - -The interior of the Winter Palace was burned out in 1837, and only a -few of the original State rooms survive. These surviving rooms are -the only ones of any artistic interest, as the other innumerable and -stupendous halls were all reconstructed during the "period of bad -taste," and bear ample witness to that fact in every detail of their -ornamentation. - -The Ambassadors' staircase, part of the original building, is very -dignified and imposing with its groups of statuary, painted ceiling, -and lavish decoration, as is Peter the Great's Throne room, with -jasper columns, and walls hung with red velvet worked in gold with -great Russian two-headed eagles. All the tables, chairs, and -chandeliers in this room were of solid silver. - -St. George's Hall, another of the old rooms, I thought splendid, with -its pure white marble walls and columns and rich adornments of gilt -bronze, and there was also an agreeably barbaric hall with entirely -gilt columns, many banners, and gigantic effigies of ancient Russian -warriors. All these rooms were full of collections of the gold and -silver-gilt trays on which the symbolical "bread and salt" had been -offered to different Emperors in the various towns of their dominions. - -The fifty or so other modern rooms were only remarkable for their -immense size, the Nicholas Hall, for instance, being 200 feet long -and 65 feet wide, though the so-called "Golden Hall" positively -dazzled one with its acre or so of gilding. It would have been a -happy idea for the Emperor to {116} assemble all the leading -financiers of Europe to dine together in the "Golden Hall." The -sight of so much of the metal which they had spent their whole lives -in amassing would have gratified the financiers, and would probably -have stimulated them to fresh exertions. - -The Emperor Alexander II always received the diplomats in Peter the -Great's Throne room, seated on Peter's throne. He was a wonderfully -handsome man even in his old age, with a most commanding manner, and -an air of freezing hauteur. When addressing junior members of the -Diplomatic Body there was something in his voice and a look in his -eye reminiscent of the Great Mogul addressing an earthworm. - -I have only seen three Sovereigns who looked their parts quite -unmistakably: Alexander II of Russia, William I of Germany, and Queen -Victoria. In Queen Victoria's case it was the more remarkable, as -she was very short. Yet this little old lady in her plain dress, had -the most inimitable dignity, and no one could have mistaken her for -anything but a Queen. I remember Queen Victoria attending a concert -at the Albert Hall in 1887, two months before the Jubilee -celebrations. The vast building was packed to the roof, and the -Queen received a tremendous ovation. No one who saw it can ever -forget how the little old lady advanced to the front of her box and -made two very low sweeping curtsies to the right and to the left of -her with incomparable dignity and grace, as she smiled {117} through -her tears on the audience in acknowledgment of the thunders of -applause that greeted her. Queen Victoria was always moved to tears -when she received an unusually cordial ovation from her people, for -they loved her, and she loved them. - -The scale of everything in the Winter Palace was so vast that it is -difficult to compare the Court entertainments there with those -elsewhere. - -Certainly the Russian ladies looked well in their uniform costumes. -The cut, shape, and style of these dresses never varied, be the -fashions what they might. The dress, once made, lasted the owner for -her lifetime, though with advancing years it might possibly require -to be readjusted to an expanding figure. They were enormously -expensive to start with--anything from £300 to £1,200. There was a -complete under-dress of white satin, heavily embroidered. Over this -was worn a velvet dress lavishly trimmed with dark fur. This velvet -dress might be of dull red, dark blue, green, or brown, according to -the taste of the wearer. It had to have a long train embroidered -with gold or silver flowers, or both mixed, as the owner's fancy -dictated. On the head was worn the "Kakoshnik," the traditional -Russian head-dress, in the form of a crescent. In the case of -married women the "Kakoshnik" might be of diamonds, or any gems they -fancied, or could compass; for girls the "Kakoshnik" must be of white -silk. Girls, too, had to wear white, without the velvet over-dress. -The usual fault of Russian faces is their undue breadth across the -cheek-bones, {118} and the white "Kakoshnik" worn by the unmarried -girls seemed to me to emphasize this defect, whereas a blazing -semicircle of diamonds made a most becoming setting for an older -face, although at times, as in other cases, the setting might be more -ornamental than the object it enshrined. Though the Russian uniforms -were mostly copied from German models, the national lack of attention -to detail was probably to blame for the lack of effect they produced -when compared with their Prussian originals. - -There was always something a little slovenly in the way in which the -Russian uniforms were worn, though an exception must be made in the -case of the resplendent "Chevaliers Gardes," and of the "Gardes à -Cheval." The uniforms of these two crack cavalry regiments was -closely copied from that of the Prussian "Gardes du Corps" and was -akin to that of our own Life Guards and Royal Horse Guards; the same -leather breeches and long jack-boots, and the same cuirasses; the -tunics, though were white, instead of the scarlet or blue of their -English prototypes. The "Chevaliers Gardes" had silvered cuirasses -and helmets surmounted with the Russian eagle, whereas those of the -"Gardes à Cheval" were gilt. As we know, "all that glitters is not -gold," and in spite of their gilding the "Gardes à Cheval" were -considered very inferior socially to their rivals. The Emperor's -fiercely-moustached Circassian bodyguard struck an agreeably exotic -note with their grass-green trousers and long blue kaftans, covered -with rows of Persian {119} cartridge-holders in _niello_ of black and -silver. Others of the Circassians wore coats of chain mail over -their kaftans, and these kaftans were always sleeveless, showing the -bright green, red, or blue silk shirtsleeves of their wearers. -Another pleasant barbaric touch. - -To my mind, the smartest uniforms were those of the Cossack officers; -baggy green knickerbockers thrust into high boots, a hooked-and-eyed -green tunic without a single button or a scrap of gold lace on it, -and a plain white silk belt. No one could complain of a lack of -colour at a Petrograd Palace ball. The Russian civil and Court -uniforms were ingeniously hideous with their white trousers and long -frock-coats covered with broad transverse bars of gold lace. The -wearers of these ugly garments always looked to me like walking -embodiments of what are known in commercial circles as "gilt-edged -securities." As at Berlin, there were hosts of pages at these -entertainments. These lads were all attired like miniature -"Chevalier Gardes," in leather breeches and jack-boots, and wore -gold-laced green tunics; a singularly unpractical dress, I should -have thought, for a growing boy. All Russians of a certain social -position were expected to send their sons to be educated at the -"School for Imperial Pages," which was housed in an immense and -ornate building and counted four hundred pupils. Wise parents -mistrusted the education "aux pages" for their sons, knowing that, -however little else they might learn there, they would be certain to -acquire {120} habits of gross extravagance; the prominence, too, into -which these boys were thrust at Court functions tended to make them -unduly precocious. - -The smaller Court balls were known as "Les Bals des Palmiers." On -these occasions, a hundred large palm trees, specially grown for the -purpose at Tsarskoe Selo, were brought by road from there in huge -vans. Round the palm in its tub supper tables were built, each one -accommodating fifteen people. It was really an extraordinarily -pretty sight seeing these rows of broad-fronted palms down the great -Nicholas Hall, and the knowledge that a few feet away there was an -outside temperature of 5° below zero added piquancy to the sight of -these exiles from the tropics waving their green plumes so far away -in the frozen North. At the "Bals des Palmiers" it was Alexander -II's custom to make the round of the tables as soon as his guests -were seated. The Emperor would go up to a table, the occupants of -which of course all rose at his approach, say a few words to one or -two of them, and then eat either a small piece of bread or a little -fruit, and just put his lips to a glass of champagne, in order that -his guests might say that he had eaten and drank with them. A -delicate and graceful attention! - -As electric light had not then been introduced into the palace, the -entire building was lighted with wax candles. I cannot remember the -number I was told was required on these occasions, but I think it was -over one hundred thousand. The candles were all lighted with a -thread of gun-cotton, as in St. Isaac's Cathedral. - -{121} - -The Empress appeared but very rarely. It was a matter of common -knowledge that she was suffering from an incurable disease. All the -rooms in which she lived were artificially impregnated with oxygen, -continuously released from cylinders in which the gas had been -compressed. This, though it relieved the lungs of the sufferer, -proved very trying to the Empress's ladies-in-waiting, as this -artificial atmosphere with its excess of oxygen after an hour or so -gave them all violent headaches and attacks of giddiness. - -In spite of the characteristic Russian carelessness about details, -these Petrograd Palace entertainments provided a splendid glittering -pageant to the eye, for the stage was so vast and the number of -performers so great. There was not the same blaze of diamonds as in -London, but I should say that the individual jewels were far finer. -A stone must be very perfect to satisfy the critical Russian eye, -and, true to their Oriental blood, the ladies preferred unfaceted -rubies, sapphires, and emeralds. Occasional Emirs from Central Asia -served, as do the Indian princes at Buckingham Palace, as a reminder -that Russia's responsibilities, like those of Great Britain, did not -cease with her European frontiers. - -Once a year the diplomats had much the best of the situation. This -was at the blessing of the waters of the Neva--"the Jordan," as -Russians called it--on January 6, old style, or January 18, according -to our reckoning. We saw the ceremonies through the double windows -of the great steam-heated Nicholas {122} Hall, whereas the Emperor -and all the Grand Dukes had to stand bareheaded in the snow outside. -A great hole was cut in the ice of the Neva, with a temporary chapel -erected over it. At the conclusion of the religious service, the -Metropolitan of Petrograd solemnly blessed the waters of the river, -and dipped a great golden cross into them. - -A cordon of soldiers had to guard the opening in the ice until it -froze over again, in order to prevent fanatical peasants from bathing -in the newly-consecrated waters. Many had lost their lives in this -way. - -A friend of mine, the Director of the Hermitage Gallery, offered to -take me all over the Winter Palace, and the visit occupied nearly an -entire day. The maze of rooms was so endless that the mind got a -little bewildered and surfeited with the sight of so many splendours. -A detail that amused me was a small library on the second floor, -opening on to an avenue of lime trees. One of the Empresses had -chosen for her private library this room on the second floor, looking -into a courtyard. She had selected it on account of its quiet, but -expressed a wish to have an avenue of trees, under which to walk in -the intervals of her studies. The room being on the second floor, -and looking into a yard, the wish appeared to be difficult to -execute, but in those days the word "impossible" did not exist for an -Empress of Russia. The entire courtyard was filled in with earth, -and full-grown lime trees transplanted there. When I saw this aerial -grove eighty years afterwards, {123} there was quite a respectable -avenue of limes on the second floor of the building, with a gravel -walk bordered by grass-plots beneath them. Another Empress wished to -have a place to walk in during the winter months, so a very ingenious -hanging winter-garden was contrived for her, following all the -exterior angles of the building. It was not in the least like an -ordinary conservatory, but really did recall an outdoor garden. -There were gravel walks, and lawns of lycopodium simulating grass; -there were growing orange trees, and quite large palms. For some -reason the creepers on the walls of this pseudo-garden were all -artificial, being very cleverly made out of painted sheet-iron. - -I had an opportunity later of seeing the entire Winter Palace -collection of silver plate, and all the Crown jewels, when they were -arranged for the inspection of the late Duke of Edinburgh, who was -good enough to invite me to come. There were enormous quantities of -plate, of Russian, French, and English make, sufficient to stock -every silversmith's shop in London. Some of the English plate was of -William and Mary's and Queen Anne's date, and there were some fine -early Georgian pieces. They, would, I confess, have appeared to -greater advantage had they conveyed the idea that they had been -occasionally cleaned. As it was, they looked like dull pewter that -had been neglected for twenty years. Of the jewels, the only things -I remember were a superb "corsage" of diamonds and aquamarines--not -the pale green stones we {124} associate with the name, but immense -stones of that bright blue tint, so highly prized in Russia--and -especially the great Orloff diamond. The "corsage" was big enough to -make a very ample cuirass for the most stalwart of lifeguardsmen, and -the Orloff diamond formed the head of the Russian Imperial sceptre. -The history of the Orloff, or Lazareff, diamond is quite interesting. -Though by no means the largest, it is considered the most perfect -diamond in the world, albeit it has a slight flaw in it. Originally -stolen from India, it came into the hands of an Armenian called -Lazareff in some unknown manner about A.D. 1750. Lazareff, so the -story goes, devised a novel hiding-place for the great stone. Making -a deep incision into the calf of his leg, he placed the diamond in -the cavity, and lay in bed for three months till the wound was -completely healed over. He then started for Amsterdam, and though -stripped and searched several times during his journey, for he was -strongly suspected of having the stone concealed about his person, -its hiding-place was never discovered. At Amsterdam Lazareff had the -wound reopened by a surgeon, and the diamond extracted. He then sold -it to Count Orloff for 450,000 roubles, or roughly £45,000, and -Orloff in his turn made a present of the great stone to Catherine the -Great. The diamond is set under a jewelled Russian eagle at the -extremity of the sceptre, where it probably shows to greater -advantage than it did when concealed for six months in the calf of an -Armenian's leg. - -{125} - -The accommodation provided for the suites of the Imperial family is -hardly on a par with the magnificence of the rest of the palace. The -Duchess of Edinburgh, daughter of Alexander II, made a yearly visit -to Petrograd, as long as her mother the Empress was alive. As the -Duchess's lady-in-waiting happened to be one of my oldest friends, -during her stay I was at the palace at least three days a week, and I -retain vivid recollections of the dreary, bare, whitewashed vault -assigned to her as a sitting-room. The only redeeming feature of -this room was a five-storied glass tray packed with some fifty -varieties of the most delicious _bon-bons_ the mind of man could -conceive. These were all fresh-baked every day by the palace -confectioner, and the tray was renewed every morning. There were -some sixty of these trays prepared daily, and their arrangement was -always absolutely identical, precisely the same number of caramels -and _fondants_ being placed on each shelf of the tray. Everyone knew -that the palace confectioner owned a fashionable sweet shop on the -Nevsky, where he traded under a French name, and I imagine that his -shop was entirely stocked from the remains of the palace trays. - -In the spring of 1880 an attempt was made on Alexander's II's life by -a bomb which completely wrecked the white marble private dining-room. -The Emperor's dinner hour was 7, and the bomb was timed to explode at -7.20 p.m. The Emperor happened at the time to be overwhelmed with -work, and at the last moment he postponed dinner until 7.30. {126} -The bomb exploded at the minute it had been timed for, killing many -of the servants. My poor friend the lady-in-waiting was passing -along the corridor as the explosion occurred. She fell unhurt -amongst the wreckage, but the shock and the sight of the horribly -mangled bodies of the servants were too much for her. She never -recovered from their effects, and died in England within a year. -After this crime, the Winter Palace was thoroughly searched from -cellars to attics, and some curious discoveries were made. - -Some of the countless moujiks employed in the palace had vast -unauthorized colonies of their relatives living with them on the top -floor of the building. In one bedroom a full-grown cow was found, -placidly chewing the cud. One of the moujiks had smuggled it in as a -new-born calf, had brought it up by hand, and afterwards fed it on -hay purloined from the stables. Though it may have kept his family -well provided with milk, stabling a cow in a bedroom unprovided with -proper drainage, on the top floor of a building, is not a proceeding -to be unduly encouraged; nor does it tend to add to the sanitary -amenities of a palace. - -Russians are fond of calling the Nevsky "the street of toleration," -for within a third of a mile of its length a Dutch Calvinist, a -German Lutheran, a Roman Catholic, and an Armenian church rise almost -side by side. "Nevsky" is, of course, only the adjective of "Neva," -and the street is termed "Perspective" in French and "Prospect" in -Russian. - -{127} - -Close to the Armenian church lived M. Delyanoff, who was the Minister -of Education in those days. Both M. and Madame Delyanoff were -exceedingly hospitable and kind to the Diplomatic Body, so, when M. -Delyanoff died, most of the diplomats attended his funeral, -appearing, according to Russian custom, in full uniform. The -Delyanoffs being Armenians, the funeral took place in the Armenian -church, and none of us had had any previous experience of the -extraordinary noises which pass for singing amongst Armenians. When -six individuals appeared and began bleating like sheep, and followed -this by an excellent imitation of hungry wolves howling, it was too -much for us. We hastily composed our features into the decorum the -occasion demanded, amid furtive little snorts of semi-suppressed -laughter. After three grey-bearded priests had stepped from behind -the ikonostas, and, putting their chins up in the air, proceeded to -yelp together in unison, exactly like dogs baying the moon, the -entire Corps Diplomatique broke down utterly. Never have I seen men -laugh so unrestrainedly. As we had each been given a large lighted -candle, the movements of our swaying bodies were communicated to the -tapers, and showers of melted wax began flying in all directions. -With the prudence of the land of my birth, I placed myself against a -pillar, so as to have no one behind me, but each time the three -grey-beards recommenced their comical howling, I must have scattered -perfect Niagaras of wax on to the embroidered coat-tails {128} and -extensive back of the Swedish Minister in front of me. I should -think that I must have expended the combined labours of several hives -of bees on his garments, congratulating myself the while that that -genial personage, not being a peacock, did not enjoy the advantage of -having eyes in his tail. The Swedish Minister, M. Dué, his massive -frame quivering with laughter, was meanwhile engaged in performing a -like kindly office on to the back of his Roumanian colleague, Prince -Ghika, who in his turn was anointing the uniform of M. van der -Hooven, the Netherlands Minister. Providentially, the Delyanoff -family were all grouped together before the altar, and the farmyard -imitations of the Armenian choir so effectually drowned our unseemly -merriment that any faint echoes which reached the family were -ascribed by them to our very natural emotions in the circumstances. -I heard, indeed, afterwards that the family were much touched by our -attendance and by our sympathetic behaviour, but never, before or -since, have I attended so hilarious a funeral. - -Lord Dufferin, in common with most of the members of the Embassy, was -filled with an intense desire to kill a bear. These animals, of -course, hibernate, and certain peasants made a regular livelihood by -discovering bears' lairs (the Russian term, a corruption from the -German, is "bear-loge") and then coming to Petrograd and selling the -beast at so much per "pood" of forty Russian pounds. The finder -undertook to provide sledges and beaters for the sum {129} agreed -upon, but nothing was to be paid unless a shot at the bear was -obtained. These expeditions involved a considerable amount of -discomfort. There was invariably a long drive of from forty to -eighty miles to be made in rough country sledges from the nearest -available railway station; the accommodation in a peasant's house -would consist of the bare floor with some hay laid on it, and every -scrap of food, including bread, butter, tea, and sugar, would have to -be carried from Petrograd, as European stomachs could not assimilate -the sour, wet heavy black bread the peasants eat, and their -brick-tea, which contained bullocks' blood, was undrinkable to those -unaccustomed to it. It usually fell to my lot, as I spoke the -language, to go on ahead to the particular village to which we were -bound, and there to make the best arrangements possible for Lord and -Lady Dufferin's comfort. My instructions were always to endeavour to -get a room in the latest house built, as this was likely to be less -infested with vermin than the others. After a four or five hours' -run from Petrograd by train, one would find the vendor of the bear -waiting at the station with a country sledge. These sledges were -merely a few poles tied together, mounted on iron-shod wooden -runners, and filled with hay. The sledges were so long that it was -possible to lie at full length in them. The rifles, baggage, and -food being packed under the hay, one lay down at full length, clad in -long felt boots and heavy furs, an air-cushion under one's head, and -a Persian "bashilik," or hood of fine camel's hair, drawn over it to -{130} prevent ears or nose from being frostbitten. Tucked into a -thick fur rug, one composed oneself for an all-night drive through -the endless forests. The two drivers sat on a plank in front, and -one or other of them was continually dropping off to sleep, and -tumbling backwards on to the occupants of the sledge. It was not a -very comfortable experience, and sleep was very fickle to woo. In -the first place, the sledge-tracks through the forest were very rough -indeed, and the jolting was incessant; in the second place, should -the actual driver go to sleep as well as his relieving colleague, the -sledge would bump against the tree-trunks and overturn, and baggage, -rifles and occupants would find themselves struggling in the deep -snow. I always tied my baggage together with strings, so as to avoid -losing anything in these upsets, but even then it took a considerable -time retrieving the impedimenta from the deep snowdrifts. - -It always gave me pleasure watching the black conical points of the -fir trees outlined against the pale burnished steel of the sky, and -in the intense cold the stars blazed like diamonds out of the clear -grey vault above. The biting cold burnt like a hot iron against the -cheeks, until prudence, and a regard for the preservation of one's -ears, dictated the pulling of the "bashilik" over one's face again. -The intense stillness, and the absolute silence, for there are no -sleigh-bells in Northern Russia, except in the imagination of -novelists, had some subtle attraction for me. The silence was -occasionally--very {131} occasionally only--broken by an ominous, -long-drawn howl; then a spectral swift-trotting outline would appear, -keeping pace easily with the sledge, but half-hidden amongst the -tree-trunks. In that case the smooth-bore gun and the buckshot -cartridges were quickly disinterred from the hay, and the driver -urged his horses into a furious gallop. There was no need to use the -whip; the horses knew. Everyone would give a sigh of relief as the -silent grey swift-moving spectral figure, with its fox-like lope, -vanished after a shot or two had been fired at it. The drivers would -take off their caps and cross themselves, muttering "Thanks be to -God! Oh! those cursed wolves!" and the horses slowed down of their -own accord into an easy amble. There were compensations for a -sleepless night in the beauty of the pictures in strong black and -white, or in shadowy half-tones of grey which the endless forest -displayed at every turn. When the earth is wrapped in its -snow-mantle, it is never dark, and the gleams of light from the white -carpet down the long-drawn aisles of the dark firs were like the -pillared shadows of a great cathedral when the dusk is filling it -with mystery and a vague sense of immense size. - -All villages that I have seen in Northern Russia are alike, and when -you have seen one peasant's house you have seen all. - -The village consists of one long street, and in the winter the kindly -snow covers much of its unspeakable untidiness. The "isbas," or -wooden houses, are all of the same pattern; they are solidly built of -{132} rough logs, the projecting ends firmly morticed into each -other. Their gable ends all front the street, each with two windows, -and every "isba" has its courtyard, where the door is situated. -There are no gardens, or attempts at gardens, and the houses are one -and all roofed with grey shingles. Each house is raised some six -feet from the ground, and they are all water-tight, and most of them -air-tight as well. The houses are never painted, and their weathered -logs stand out silver-grey against the white background. A good deal -of imagination is shown in the fret-saw carving of the barg-boards, -which are either ornamented in conventional patterns, or have roughly -outlined grotesque animals clambering up their angles; very often too -there are fretsaw ornaments round the window-frames as well. -Prominent on the gate of every "isba" is the painting, in black on a -white ground, of the particular implement each occupant is bound to -supply in case of a fire, that dire and relentless foe to Russian -wooden-built villages. On some houses a ladder will be depicted; on -others an axe or a pail. The interior arrangement of every "isba" I -have ever seen is also identical. They always consist of two -fair-sized rooms; the "hot room," which the family inhabit in winter, -facing the street; the "cold room," used only in summertime, looking -into the courtyard. These houses are not uncomfortable, though, a -Russian peasant's wants being but few, they are not overburdened with -furniture. The disposition of the "hot room" is unvarying. -Supposing it facing {133} due south, the door will be in the -north-west corner. The north-east corner is occupied by an immense -brick stove, filling up one-eighth of the floor-space. These stoves -are about five feet high, and their tops are covered with loose -sheepskins. Here the entire family sleep in the stifling heat, their -resting-place being shared with thousands of voracious, crawling, -uninvited guests. In the south-east corner is the ikon shelf, where -the family ikons are ranged in line, with a red lamp burning before -them. There will be a table and benches in another corner, and a -rough dresser, with a samovar, and a collection of those wooden bowls -and receptacles, lacquered in scarlet, black, and gold, which Russian -peasants make so beautifully; and that is all. The temperature of -the "hot room" is overpowering, and the atmosphere fetid beyond the -power of description. Every male, on entering takes off his cap and -makes a bow before the ikons. I always conformed to this custom, for -there is no use in gratuitously wounding people's religious -susceptibilities. I invariably slept in the "cold room," for its -temperature being probably five or six degrees below freezing point, -it was free from vermin, and the atmosphere was purer. The master of -the house laid a few armfuls of hay on the floor, and his wife would -produce one of those towels Russian women embroider so skilfully in -red and blue, and lay it down for the cheek to rest against. I slept -in my clothes, with long felt boots on, and my furs thrown over me, -and I could sleep there as well as in any bed. - -{134} - -The Russian peasant's idea as to the relation of Holy Russia to the -rest of the world is curious. It is rather the point of view of the -Chinaman, who thinks that beyond the confines of the "Middle Kingdom" -there is only outer barbarism. Everything to the west of Russia is -known as "Germania," an intelligible mistake enough when it is -remembered that Germany marks Russia's Western frontier. "Slavs" -(akin, I think, to "Slova," "a word") are the only people who can -talk; "Germania" is inhabited by deaf and dumb people ("nyémski") who -can only make inarticulate noises. On one of my shooting -expeditions, I stopped for an hour at a tea-house to change horses -and to get warmed up. The proprietor told me that his son was very -much excited at hearing that there was a "deaf and dumb man" in the -house, as he had never seen one. Would I speak to the young man. -who was then putting on his Sunday clothes on the chance of the -interview being granted? - -In due course the son appeared; a handsome youth in glorified -peasant's costume. The first outward sign of a Russian peasant's -rise in the social scale is that he tucks his shirt _into_ his -trousers, instead of wearing it outside; the second stage is marked -by his wearing his trousers _over_ his boots, instead of thrusting -the trousers into the boots. This young fellow had not reached this -point of evolution, and wore his shirt outside, but it was a -dark-blue silk shirt, secured by a girdle of rainbow-coloured Persian -silk. He still wore his long boots outside too, {135} but they had -scarlet morocco tops, and the legs of them were elaborately -embroidered with gold wire. In modern parlance, this gay young spark -was a terrific village "nut." Never have I met a youth of such -insatiable curiosity, or one so crassly and densely ignorant. He was -one perpetual note of interrogation. "Were there roads and villages -in Germania?" To the best of my belief there were. "There were no -towns though as large as Petrograd." I rather fancied the contrary, -and instanced a flourishing little community of some five million -souls, situated on an island, with which I was very well acquainted. - -The youth eyed me with deep suspicion. "Were there railways in -Germania?" Only about a hundred times the mileage of the Russian -railways. "There was no electric light though, because Jablochkoff, -a Russian, had invented that." (I found this a fixed idea with all -Russian peasants.) I had a vague impression of having seen one or -two arc lights feebly glimmering in the streets of the benighted -cities of Germania. "Could people read and write there, and could -they really talk? It was easy to see that I had learned to talk -since I had been in Russia." I showed him a copy of the London -_Times_. "These were not real letters. Could anyone read these -meaningless signs," and so on _ad infinitum_. I am persuaded that -when I left that youth he was convinced that I was the nearest -relative to Ananias that he had ever met. - -No matter which hour of the twenty-four it might {136} happen to be, -ten minutes after my arrival in any of these remote villages the -entire population assembled to gaze at the "nyemetz," the deaf and -dumb man from remote "Germania," who had arrived in their midst. -They crowded into the "hot room," men, women, and children, and gaped -on the mysterious stranger from another world, who sat there drinking -tea, as we should gaze on a visitor from Mars. I always carried with -me on those occasions a small collapsible india-rubber bath and a -rubber folding basin. On my first expedition, after my arrival in -the village, I procured a bucket of hot water from the mistress of -the house, carried it to the "cold room," and, having removed all my -garments, proceeded to take a bath. Like wildfire the news spread -through the village that the "deaf and dumb" man was washing himself, -and they all flocked in to look. I succeeded in "shooing" away the -first arrivals, but they returned with reinforcements, until half the -population, men, women, and children, were standing in serried rows -in my room, following my every movement with breathless interest. I -have never suffered from agoraphobia, so I proceeded cheerfully with -my ablutions. "Look at him! He is soaping himself!" would be -murmured. "How dirty deaf and dumb people must be to want such a lot -of washing!" "Why does he rub his teeth with little brushes?" These -and similar observations fell from the eager crowd, only broken -occasionally by a piercing yell from a child, as she wailed -plaintively the Russian {137} equivalent of "Mummy! Sonia not like -ugly man!" It was distinctly an embarrassing situation, and only -once in my life have I been placed in a more awkward position. - -That was at Bahia, in Brazil, when I was at the Rio de Janeiro -Legation. I went to call on the British Consul's wife there, and had -to walk half a mile from the tram, through the gorgeous tropical -vegetation of the charming suburb of Vittoria, amongst villas faced -with cool-looking blue and white tiles; the pretty "azulejos" which -the Portuguese adopted from the Moors. Oddly enough, a tram and a -tramcar are always called "a Bond" in Brazil. The first tram-lines -were built out of bonds guaranteed by the State. The people took -this to mean the tram itself; so "Bond" it is, and "Bond" it will -remain. Being the height of a sweltering Brazilian summer, I was -clad in white from head to foot. Suddenly, as happens in the -tropics, without any warning whatever, the heavens opened, and solid -sheets of water fell on the earth. I reached the Consul's house with -my clean white linen soaked through, and most woefully bedraggled. -The West Indian butler (an old acquaintance) who opened the door -informed me that the ladies were out. After a glance at my -extraordinary disreputable garments, he added, "You gib me dem -clothes, sar, I hab dem all cleaned and ironed in ten minutes, before -de ladies come back." On the assurances of this swarthy servitor -that he and I were the only souls in the house, I divested myself of -every stitch {138} of clothing, and going into the drawing-room, sat -down to read a book in precisely the same attire as Adam adopted in -the earlier days of his married life. Time went by, and my clothes -did not reappear; I should have known that to a Jamaican coloured man -measures of time are very elastic. Suddenly I heard voices, and, to -my horror, I saw our Consul's wife approaching through the garden -with her two daughters and some other ladies. - -There was not a moment to lose! In that tropical drawing-room the -only available scrap of drapery was a red plush table-cover. -Bundling everything on the table ruthlessly to the ground, I had just -time to snatch up the table-cloth and drape myself in it (I trust -gracefully) when the ladies entered the room. I explained my -predicament and lamented my inability to rise, and so we had tea -together. It is the only occasion in the course of a long life in -which I ever remember taking tea with six ladies, clad only in a red -plush table-cloth with bead fringes. - -Returning to Russia, the peasants fingered everything I possessed -with the insatiable curiosity of children; socks, ties, and shirts. -I am bound to say that I never had the smallest thing stolen. As our -shooting expeditions were always during Lent, I felt great -compunction at shocking the peasants' religious scruples by eating -beef, ham, and butter, all forbidden things at that season. I tried -hard to persuade one woman that my cold sirloin of roast beef was -part of a rare English fish, specially {139} imported, but she was, I -fear, of a naturally sceptical bent of mind. - -Lady Dufferin had one curious gift. She could spend the night in a -rough country sledge, or sleep in her clothes on a truss of hay, and -yet appear in the morning as fresh and neat, and spick and span, as -though she had had the most elaborate toilet appliances at her -disposal. On these occasions she usually wore a Canadian -blanket-suit of dark blue and scarlet, with a scarlet belt and hood, -and a jaunty little sealskin cap. She always went out to the forest -with us. - -The procedure on these occasions was invariably the same. An army of -beaters was assembled, about two-thirds of them women. This made me -uneasy at first, until I learnt that the beaters run no danger -whatever from the bear. The beaters form five-sixths, or perhaps -less, of a circle round the bear's sleeping place, and the guns are -placed in the intervening open space. I may add that, personally, I -always used for bear an ordinary smooth-bore sporting gun, with a -leaden bullet. I passed every one of these bullets down the barrels -of my gun myself to avoid the risk of the gun bursting, before they -were loaded into cartridges, and I had them secured with melted -tallow. The advantages of a smooth-bore is that at close quarters, -as with bear, where you must kill your beast to avoid disagreeable -consequences, you lose no time in getting your sights on a -rapidly-moving object. You shoot as you would a rabbit; and you can -make {140} absolutely sure of your animal, _if you keep your head_. -A leaden bullet at close quarters has tremendous stopping power. Of -course you want a rifle as well for longer shots. I found this -method most successful with tiger, later in India, only you must -remain quite cool. - -At a given signal, the beaters begin yelling, beating iron pans with -sticks, blowing horns, shouting, and generally making enough -pandemonium to awaken the Seven Sleepers. It effectually awakes the -bear, who emerges from his bedroom in an exceedingly evil temper, to -see what all this fearful din is about. As he is surrounded with -noise on three sides, he naturally makes for the only quiet spot, -where the guns are posted. By this time he is in a distinctly -unamiable mood. - -I always took off my ski, and stood nearly waist-deep in the snow so -as to get a firm footing. Then you can make quite certain of your -shot. Ski or no ski, if it came to running away, the bear would -always have the pull on you. The first time I was very lucky. The -bear came straight to me. When he was within fifteen feet, and I -felt absolutely certain of getting him, I fired. He reared himself -on his hind legs to an unbelievable height, and fell stone dead at -Lady Dufferin's very feet. That bear's skin is within three feet of -me as I write these lines. We went back to the village in orthodox -fashion, all with fir-branches in our hands, as a sign of rejoicing; -I seated on the dead bear. - -As a small boy of nine I had been tossed in a {141} blanket at -school, up to the ceiling, caught again, then up a second time and -third time. It was not, and was not intended to be, a pleasant -experience, but in my day all little boys had to submit to it. The -unhappy little brats stuck their teeth together, and tried hard to -grin as they were being hurled skywards. These curious Russians, -though, appeared to consider it a delightful exercise. - -Arrived at the village again, I was captured by some thirty buxom, -stalwart women, and sent spinning up and up, again and again, till I -was absolutely giddy. Not only had one to thank them profusely for -this honour, but also to disburse a considerable amount of roubles in -acknowledgement of it. Poor Lady Dufferin was then caught, in spite -of her protests, and sent hurtling skywards through the air half a -dozen times. Needless to say that she alighted with not one hair of -her head out of place or one fold of her garments disarranged. Being -young and inexperienced then, I was foolish enough to follow the -Russian custom, and to present the village with a small cask of -vodka. I regretted it bitterly. Two hours later not a male in the -place was sober. Old grey-beards and young men lay dead drunk in the -snow; and quite little boys reeled about hopelessly intoxicated. I -could have kicked myself for being so thoughtless. During all the -years I was in Russia, I never saw a peasant woman drink spirits, or -under the influence of liquor. In my house at Petrograd I had a -young peasant as house-boy. He was quite a {142} nice lad of -sixteen; clean, willing, and capable, but, young as he was, he had -already fallen a victim to the national failing, in which he indulged -regularly once a month, when his wages were paid him, and nothing -could break him of this habit. I could always tell when Ephim, the -boy, had gone out with the deliberate intention of getting drunk, by -glancing into his bedroom. He always took the precaution of turning -the ikons over his bed, with their faces to the wall, before leaving, -and invariably blew out the little red lamp, in order that ikons -might not see him reeling into the room upon his return, or deposited -unconscious upon his bed. Being a singularly neat boy in his habits, -he always put on his very oldest clothes on these occasions, in order -not to damage his better ones, should he fall down in the street -after losing control of his limbs. This drunkenness spreads like a -cancer from top to bottom of Russian society. A friend of mine, who -afterwards occupied one of the highest administrative posts, told me -quite casually that, on the occasion of his youngest brother's -seventeenth birthday, the boy had been allowed to invite six young -friends of his own age to dinner; my friend thought it quite amusing -that every one of these lads had been carried to bed dead drunk. I -attribute the dry-rot which ate into the whole structure of the -mighty Empire, and brought it crashing to the ground, in a very large -degree to the intemperate habits prevailing amongst all classes of -Russian men, which in justice one must add, may be due to climatic -reasons. - -{143} - -In the villages our imported food was a constant source of -difficulty. We were all averse to shocking the peasants by eating -meat openly during Lent, but what were we to do? Out of deference to -their scruples, we refrained from buying eggs and milk, which could -have been procured in abundance, and furtively devoured ham, cold -beef, and pickles behind cunningly contrived ramparts of newspaper, -in the hope that it might pass unnoticed. Remembering how meagre at -the best of times the diet of these peasants is, it is impossible to -help admiring them for the conscientious manner in which they obey -the rules of their Church during Lent. I once gave a pretty peasant -child a piece of plum cake. Her mother snatched it from her, and -asked me whether the cake contained butter or eggs. On my -acknowledgement that it contained both, she threw it into the stove, -and asked me indignantly how I dared to imperil her child's immortal -soul by giving her forbidden food in Lent. Even my sixteen-year-old -house-boy in Petrograd, the bibulous Ephim, although he regularly -succumbed to the charms of vodka, lived entirely on porridge and dry -bread during Lent, and would not touch meat, butter, or eggs on any -consideration whatever. The more I saw of the peasants the more I -liked them. The men all drank, and were not particularly truthful, -but they were like great simple, bearded, unkempt children, with -(drunkenness apart) all a child's faults, and all a nice child's -power of attraction. I liked the {144} great, stalwart, big-framed -women too. They were seldom good-looking, but their broad faces -glowed with health and good nature, and they had as a rule very good -skins, nice teeth, and beautiful complexions. I found that I could -get on with these villagers like a house on fire. However cold the -weather, no village girl or woman wears anything on her head but a -gaudy folded cotton handkerchief. - -I never shared the resentment of my Russian friends at being -addressed with the familiar "thou" by the peasants. They intended no -discourtesy; it was their natural form of address, and they could not -be expected to know that beyond the narrow confines of their village -there was another world where the ceremonious "you" was habitually -employed. I rather fancy that anyone bred in the country, and -accustomed from his earliest childhood to mix with farmers, -cottagers, and farm-labourers, can get on with other country-bred -people, whether at home, or in Russia, India, or Canada--a town-bred -man would not know what to talk about. In spite of the peasants' -reputation for pilfering, not one of us ever had the smallest thing -stolen. I did indeed lose a rubber air-cushion in the snow, but that -was owing to the overturning of a sledge. A colleague of mine, whom -I had hitherto always regarded as a truthful man, assured me a year -afterwards that he had seen my air-cushion ranged on the ikon shelf -in a peasant's house, with two red lamps burning before it. The -owner of the house declared, according {145} to my friend, that my -air-cushion was an ikon of peculiar sanctity, though the painting had -in some mysterious manner become obliterated from it. My colleague -further assured me that my air-cushion was building up a very -gratifying little local connection as a miracle-working ikon of quite -unusual efficiency, and that, under its kindly tutelage, crops -prospered and flocks and herds increased; of course within reasonable -limits only, for the new ikon held essentially moderate views, and -was temperamentally opposed to anything in the way of undue optimism. -I wished that I could have credited this, for it would have been -satisfactory to imagine oneself, through the agency of the -air-cushion, a vicarious yet untiring benefactor of a whole -countryside. - -On one of our shooting expeditions a curious incident occurred. Lord -Dufferin had taken a long shot at a bear, and had wounded without -killing him. For some reason, the animal stopped, and climbed to the -top of a high fir tree. Lord Dufferin approached, fired again, and -the bear dropped dead to the ground. It is but seldom that one sees -a dead bear fall from the top of a tree. I witnessed an equally -strange sporting incident once in India. It was just over the -borders of Assam, and we were returning to camp on elephants, after a -day's big game shooting. As we approached a hollow clothed with -thick jungle, the elephants all commenced trumpeting. Knowing how -wonderfully keen the elephant's sense of smell is, that told us that -some beast lay concealed in the hollow. Thinking it {146} would -prove to be a bear, I took up my favourite smooth-bore charged with -leaden bullets, when with a great crashing and rending of boughs the -jungle parted, and a galloping rhinoceros charged out, his head well -down, making straight for the elephant that was carrying a nephew of -mine. My nephew had just time to snatch up a heavy 4-bore elephant -rifle. He fired, and by an extraordinary piece of luck succeeded in -hitting the huge beast in his one vulnerable spot, just behind the -shoulder. The rhinoceros rolled right over like a shot rabbit and -lay stone dead. It was a thousand to one chance, and if I live to a -hundred I shall never see anything of the sort again. It was also -very fortunate, for had he missed his shot, nothing on earth could -have saved my nephew's life. - -We found that the most acceptable presents in the villages were -packets of sugar and tins of sardines. Sugar is costly and difficult -to procure in Russian villages. The usual way of employing it, when -friends are gathered round the table of some "isba" with the samovar -in the middle and steaming glasses of tea before each guest, is for -No. 1 to take a piece of sugar, place it between his teeth, and then -suck his tea through it. No. 1 quickly passes the piece of sugar to -his neighbor, who uses it in the same way, and transfers it to the -next person, and so on, till the sugar is all dissolved. This method -of using sugar, though doubtless economical, always struck me as -being of dubious cleanliness. A gift of a pound of lump sugar was -always welcomed with {147} grateful thanks. Sardines were even more -acceptable, as they could be eaten in Lent. The grown-ups devoured -the fish, lifting them out of the tin with their fingers; and the -children were given the oil to smear on their bread, in place of -forbidden butter. - -After days in the keen fresh air, and in the limitless expanse of -forest and snow, life in Petrograd seemed terribly artificial. I -used to marvel that my cultured, omniscient, polygot friends were -fellow-countrymen of the bearded, red-shirted, illiterate peasants we -had just left. The gulf seemed so unbridgable between them, and -apart from a common language and a common religion (both, I -acknowledge, very potent bonds of union) there seemed no link between -them, or any possible community of ideas. Now in England there is -that community of ideas. All classes, from the highest to the -lowest, share to some extent the same tastes and the same prejudices. -There is too that most powerful of connecting links, a common love of -sport. The cricket ground and the football field are witnesses to -this, and it shows in a hundred little ways beside. The freemasonry -of sport is very real. - -It was perfectly delightful to live with and to mix so much amongst -charming people of such wide culture and education, but they seemed -to me to bear the same relation to the world outside their own that a -rare orchid in its glass shelter bears to a wild flower growing in -the open air. The one is {148} indigenous to the soil; the other was -originally imported, and can only thrive in an artificial atmosphere, -and under artificial conditions. If the glass gets broken, or the -fire goes out, the orchid dies, but the wild flower is not affected. -After all, man made the towns, but God made the country. - - - - -{149} - -CHAPTER V - -The Russian Gipsies--Midnight drives--Gipsy singing--Its -fascination--The consequences of a late night--An unconventional -luncheon--Lord Dufferin's methods--Assassination of Alexander -II--Stürmer--Pathetic incidents in connection with the murder of the -Emperor--The funeral procession and service--Details concerning--The -Votive Church--The Order of the Garter--Unusual incidents at the -Investiture--Precautions taken for Emperor's safety--The Imperial -train--Finland--Exciting salmon-fishing there--Harraka -Niska--Koltesha--Excellent shooting there--Ski-running--"Ringing the -game in"--A wolf-shooting party--The obese General--Some incidents--A -novel form of sport--Black game and capercailzie--At dawn in a -Finnish forest--Immense charm of it--Ice-hilling or "Montagnes -Russes"--Ice-boating on the Gulf of Finland. - - -In my day there were two or three restaurants on the islands formed -by the delta of the Neva, with troupes of singing gipsies attached to -them. These restaurants did a roaring trade in consequence, for the -singing of the gipsy choirs seems to produce on Russians the same -maddening, almost intoxicating effect that the "skirl o' the pipes" -does on those with Scottish blood in their veins. - -Personally, I thought that one soon tired of this {150} gipsy -singing; not so my Russian friends--it appeared to have an -irresistible attraction for them. I always dreaded the consequences -when some foolish person, usually at 1 or even 2 a.m., proposed a -visit to the gipsies, for all the ladies present would instantly jump -at the suggestion, and I knew full well that it entailed a forcible -separation from bed until six or possibly seven next morning. - -Troikas would at once be sent for. A troika is a thing quite apart. -Its horses are harnessed as are no other horses in the world, since -the centre horse trots in shafts, whilst the two outside horses, the -"_pristashkui_" loose save for long traces, gallop. Driving a troika -is a special art. The driver stands; he has a special badge, -peacock's feathers set in a round cap; he has a special name, -"_yamshchik_," and he charges quite a special price. - -To my mind, the drive out to the islands was the one redeeming -feature of these expeditions. Within the confines of the city, the -pace of the troikas was moderate enough, but as the last scattered -houses of the suburbs merged into the forest, the driver would call -to his horses, and the two loose horses broke into a furious gallop, -the centre horse in shafts moving as swiftly as any American trotter. -Smoothly and silently under the burnished steel of the starlit sky, -they tore over the snow, the vague outlines of the fir trees whizzing -past. Faster and faster, until the wild excitement of it made one's -blood tingle within one, even as the bitter cold made one's cheeks -tingle, as we raced through the {151} keen pure air. That wild -gallop through the forest was perfectly glorious. I believe that on -us sons of the North real cold has the same exhilarating effect that -warmth and sunshine have on the Lotos-eating dwellers by the blue -Mediterranean. - -The troika would draw up at the door of a long, low, wooden building, -hidden away amongst the fir trees of the forest. After repeated -bangings at the door, a sleepy-eyed Tartar appeared, who ushered one -into a great gaunt, bare, whitewashed room, where other little -yellow, flat-faced, Tartar waiters were lighting countless wax -candles, bringing in many slim-shouldered, gold foil-covered bottles -of champagne, and a samovar or two, and arranging seats. Then the -gipsy troupe strolled in, some twenty-five strong; the younger -members passably good-looking, with fine dark eyes, abundant -eyelashes, and extremely indifferent complexions. The older members -of the company made no attempt at coquetry. They came muffled in -woollen shawls, probably to conceal toilet deficiencies, yawning -openly and undisguisedly; not concealing their disgust at being -robbed of their sleep in order to sing to a pack of uninteresting -strangers, to whom, incidentally, they owed their entire means of -livelihood. Some ten swarthy, evil-faced, indeterminate males with -guitars filled up the background. - -One of the younger members of the troupe would begin a song in waltz -time, in a curious metallic voice, with a ring in it of something -Eastern, {152} barbaric, and utterly strange to European ears, to the -thrum of the guitars of the swarthy males in the background. The -elderly females looked inexpressibly bored, and hugged their woollen -shawls a little closer over their heads. Then the chorus took up the -refrain. A tempest of wild, nasal melody arose, in the most perfect -harmony. It was metallic, and the din was incredible, but the effect -it produced on the listeners was astounding. The old women, dropping -their cherished shawls, awoke to life. Their dull eyes sparkled -again, they sang madly, frenetically; like people possessed. The -un-European _timbre_ of the voices conduced doubtless to the effect, -but the fact remains that this clamour of nasal, metallic voices, -singing in exquisite harmony, had about it something so novel and -fresh--or was it something so immemorially old?--that the listeners -felt absolutely intoxicated. - -On the Russians it acted like hypnotism. After the first song, they -all joined in, and even I, the dour and unemotional son of a Northern -land, found myself, as words and music grew familiar, shouting the -bass parts of the songs with all the strength of my lungs. The -Russian language lends itself admirably to song, and the excess of -sibilants in it is not noticeable in singing. - -These Russian gipsies, like the Austrian bands, produced their -effects by very simple means. They harmonised their songs -themselves, and they always introduced a succession of "sixths" or -"thirds"; emphasising the "sixth" in the tenor part. - -{153} - -One can, however, have too much of a good thing. I used to think -longingly of my far-off couch, but there was no tearing Russians away -from the gipsies. The clock ticked on; they refused to move. The -absorption of much champagne has never afforded me the smallest -amusement. The consumption of tea has also its limits, and my -longed-for bed was so far away! The really staggering figure one had -to disburse as one's share for these gipsy entertainments seemed to -me to be a very long price to pay for a sleepless night. - -Once a fortnight the "Queen's Messenger" left Petrograd at noon, on -his return journey to London. On "Messenger mornings" we had all to -be at the Embassy at 9 a.m. punctually. One morning, after a -compulsory vigil with the gipsies, I was awakened by my servant with -the news that it was close on nine, and that my sledge was already at -the door. It was impossible to dress in the time, so after some -rapid ablutions, I drew the long felt boots the Russians call -"Valinki" over my pyjamas, put on some heavy furs, and jumped into my -sledge. Lord Dufferin found me writing hard in the steam-heated -Chancery, clad only in silk pyjamas, and with my bare feet in -slippers. He made no remark, but I knew that nothing ever escaped -his notice. By noon we had the despatches finished, the bags sealed -up, the "waybill" made out, various precautionary measures taken as -to which it is unnecessary to enlarge, and the Messenger left for -London. I called to the {154} hall porter to bring me my furs, and -told him to order my sledge round. "His Excellency has sent your -sledge home," said the porter, with a smile lurking round the corners -of his mouth. "Then call me a hack sledge." "His Excellency hopes -that you will give him the pleasure of your company at luncheon." -"But I must go home and dress first." "His Excellency's orders were -that you are to go as you are," answered the grinning porter. Then I -understood. Nothing is ever gained by being shy or self-conscious, -so after a hasty toilet, I sent for my heavy fur "shuba." Furs in -Russia are intended for use, not ornament, and this "shuba" was an -extremely weighty and voluminous garment, designed to withstand the -rigours of the North Pole itself. A glance at the mirror convinced -me that I was most indelicately _décolleté_ about the neck, so I -hooked the big collar of the "shuba" together, and strode upstairs. -The heat of this fur garment was unendurable, but there was nothing -else for it. Certainly the legs of my pyjamas protruded below it, so -I congratulated myself on the fact that they were a brand-new pair of -very smart striped mauve silk. My bare feet too were encased in -remarkably neat Persian slippers of green morocco. Lady Dufferin -received me exactly as though I had been dressed in the most -immaculate of frock-coats. Her children though, gazed at my huge fur -coat, round-eyed with astonishment, for neither man nor woman ever -comes into a Russian house with furs on--an {155} arrangement which -would not at all suit some of my London friends, who seem to think -that furs are designed for being shown off in hot rooms. The -governess, an elderly lady, catching sight of my unfortunate pyjama -legs below the fur coat, assumed a highly scandalised attitude, as -though she could scarcely credit the evidence of her eyes. (I repeat -that they were exceptionally smart pyjamas.) - -During luncheon Lord Dufferin made himself perfectly charming, and I -did my best to act as though it were quite normal to sit down to -one's repasts in an immense fur coat. - -The Ambassador was very susceptible to cold, and liked the house -heated to a great temperature. That day the furnace-man must have -been quite unusually active, for the steam hissed and sizzled in the -radiators, until the heat of that dining-room was suffocating. -Conscious of my extreme _décolletage_, I did not dare unhook the -collar of my "shuba," being naturally of a modest disposition, and -never, even in later years at Colombo or Singapore, have I suffered -so terribly from heat as in that Petrograd dining-room in the depths -of a Russian winter. The only cool thing in the room was the -governess, who, when she caught sight of my bare feet, froze into an -arctic iceberg of disdain, in spite of my really very ornamental -Persian slippers. The poor lady had obviously never even caught a -glimpse of pajamas before. After that episode I always came to the -Embassy fully dressed. - -{156} - -Another instance of Lord Dufferin's methods occurs to me. We had a -large evening party at the Embassy, and a certain very pushing and -pertinacious English newspaper correspondent did everything in his -power to get asked to this reception. For very excellent reasons, -his request was refused. In spite of this, on the night of the party -the journalist appeared. I informed Lord Dufferin, and asked what he -wished me to do about it. "Let me deal with him myself," answered -the Ambassador, and going up to the unbidden guest, he made him a -little bow, and said with a bland smile, "May I inquire, sir, to what -I owe this most unexpected honour?" Then as the unhappy -newspaper-man stuttered out something, Lord Dufferin continued with -an even blander smile, "Do not allow me, my dear sir, I beg of you, -to detain you from your other doubtless numerous engagements"; then -calling me, he added, "Will you kindly accompany this gentleman to -the front door, and see that on a cold night like this he gets all -his warm clothing." It was really impossible to turn a man out of -your house in a more courteous fashion. - -There was another plan Lord Dufferin used at times. All despatches, -and most of our private letters, were sent home by hand, in charge of -the Queen's Messenger. We knew perfectly well that anything sent -from the Embassy through the ordinary mails would be opened at the -Censor's office, and copies taken. Ministries of Foreign Affairs -{157} give at times "diplomatic" answers, and occasionally it was -advisable to let the Russian Government know that the Ambassador was -quite aware that the assurances given him did not quite tally with -the actual facts. He would then write a despatch to London to that -effect, and send it by mail, being well aware that it would be opened -and a copy sent to the Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs. In this -indirect fashion, he delicately conveyed to the Russian Government -that he had not been hoodwinked by the rather fanciful statements -made to him. - -I was sitting at luncheon with some friends at a colleague's house on -Sunday, the fateful 1st of March, 1881 (March 13, new style). -Suddenly our white-headed old Chancery messenger burst -unceremoniously into the room, and called out, "The Emperor has been -assassinated!" We all jumped up; the old man, a German-speaking -Russian from the Baltic Provinces, kept on wringing his hands, and -moaning, "Unser arme gute Kaiser! unser arme gute Kaiser!" ("Our poor -dear Emperor!") We hurried to the Embassy as fast as we could go, and -found the Ambassador just stepping into his carriage to get the -latest news from the Winter Palace. Lady Dufferin had not seen the -actual crime committed, but she had heard the explosion of the bomb, -and had seen the wounded horses led past, and was terribly upset in -consequence. She was walking along the Catherine Canal with her -youngest daughter when the Emperor's carriage {158} passed and the -first bomb was thrown. The carriage was one of Napoleon III's -special armoured coaches, bought after the fall of the Second French -Empire. The bomb shattered the wheels of the carriage, but the -Emperor was untouched. He stepped out into the snow, when the second -bomb was thrown, which blew his legs to pieces, and the Emperor was -taken in a private sledge, in a dying condition, to the Winter -Palace. The bombs had been painted white, to look like snowballs. - -Ten minutes later one of the Court Chamberlains arrived. I met him -in the hall, and he informed me, with the tears streaming down his -face, that all was over. - -That Chamberlain was a German-Russian named Stürmer, and he was the -very same man who thirty-four years later was destined, by his gross -incompetence, or worse, as Prime Minister, to bring the mighty -Russian Empire crashing in ruins to the ground, and to drive the -well-intentioned, irresolute Nicholas II, the grandson of the -Sovereign for whom he professed so great an affection, to his -abdication, imprisonment, and ignominious death. - -There was a Queen's Messenger due in Petrograd from London that same -afternoon, and Lord Dufferin, thinking that the police might give -trouble, desired me to meet him at the station. - -The Messenger refused to believe my news. He persisted in treating -the whole thing as a joke, so I ordered my coachman to drive through -the great {159} semi-circular place in front of the Winter Palace. -That place presented a wonderful sight. There were tens of thousands -of people, all kneeling bare-headed in the snow, in close-packed -ranks. I thought the sight of those serried thousands kneeling -bare-headed, praying for the soul of their dead Emperor, a strangely -moving and beautiful spectacle. When the Messenger saw this, and -noted the black and yellow Imperial flag waving at half-mast over the -Palace, he no longer doubted. - -The Grand Duke Vladimir had announced the Emperor's death to the vast -crowds in the traditional Russian fashion. The words "death" or -"die" being considered ill-omened by old-fashioned Russians, the -actual sentence used by the Grand Duke was, "The Emperor has bidden -you to live long." ("Gosudar Imperator vam prikazal dolga jit!") -The words conveyed their message. - -The body of the Emperor having been embalmed, the funeral did not -take place for a fortnight. As the crow flies, the distance between -the Winter Palace and the Fortress Church is only about half a mile; -it was, however, still winter-time, the Neva was frozen over, and the -floating bridges had been removed. It being contrary to tradition to -take the body of a dead Emperor of Russia across ice, the funeral -procession had to pass over the permanent bridges to the Fortress, a -distance of about six miles. - -Lady Dufferin and I saw the procession from the corner windows of a -house on the quays. On {160} paper it sounded very grand, but like -so many things in Russia, it was spoilt by lack of attention to -details. The distances were kept irregularly, and many of the -officials wore ordinary civilian great-coats over their uniforms, -which did not enhance the effect of the _cortège_. The most striking -feature of the procession was the "Black Knight" on foot, followed -immediately by the "Golden Knight" on horseback. These were, I -believe, meant to typify "The Angel of Death" and "The Angel of the -Resurrection." Both Knights were clad in armour from head to foot, -with the vizors of their helmets down. The "Black Knight's" armour -was dull sooty-black all over; he had a long black plume waving from -his helmet. The "Golden Knight," mounted on a white horse, with a -white plume in his helmet, wore gilded and burnished armour, which -blazed like a torch in the sunlight. The weight of the black armour -being very great, there had been considerable difficulty in finding a -man sufficiently strong to walk six miles, carrying this tremendous -burden. A gigantic young private of the Preobrajensky Guards -undertook the task for a fee of one hundred roubles, but though he -managed to accomplish the distance, he fainted from exhaustion on -reaching the Fortress Church, and was, I heard, two months in -hospital from the effects of his effort. - -We were able to get Lady Dufferin into her place in the Fortress -Church, long before the procession arrived, by driving across the ice -of the {161} river. The absence of seats in a Russian church, and -the extreme length of the Orthodox liturgy, rendered these services -very trying for ladies. The Fortress Church had been built by a -Dutch architect, and was the most un-Eastern-looking Orthodox church -I ever saw. It actually contained a pulpit! In the north aisle of -the church all the Emperors since Peter the Great's time lie in -uniform plain white marble tombs, with gilt-bronze Russian eagles at -their four corners. The Tsars mostly rest in the Cathedral of the -Archangel, in the Moscow Kremlin. I have before explained that Peter -was the last of the Tsars and the first of the Emperors. The -regulations for Court mourning in Petrograd were most stringent. All -ladies had to appear in perfectly plain black, lustreless woollen -dresses, made high to the throat. On their heads they wore a sort of -Mary Queen of Scots pointed cap of black crape, with a long black -crape veil falling to their feet. The only detail of the funeral -which struck me was the perfectly splendid pall of cloth of gold. -This pall had been specially woven in Moscow, of threads of real -gold. When folded back during the ceremony it looked exactly like -gleaming waves of liquid gold. - -A memorial church in old-Russian style has been erected on the -Catherine Canal on the spot where Alexander II was assassinated. The -five onion-shaped domes of this church, of copper enamelled in -stripes and spirals of crude blue and white, green and yellow, and -scarlet and white, may possibly {162} look less garish in two hundred -years' time than they do at present. The severely plain Byzantine -interior, covered with archaic-looking frescoes on a gold ground, is -effective. The ikonostas is entirely of that vivid pink and -enormously costly Siberian marble that Russians term "heavy stone." -Personally I should consider the huge sum it cost as spent in vain. - -Edward VII and Queen Alexandra, in those days, of course, Prince and -Princess of Wales, represented Great Britain at Alexander II's -funeral, and remained in Petrograd a month after it. - -A week after the funeral, the Prince of Wales, by Queen Victoria's -command, invested Alexander III with the Order of the Garter. As the -Garter is the oldest Order of Chivalry in Europe, the ceremonies at -its investiture have 570 years of tradition behind them. The -insignia, the star, the ribbon, the collar, the sword, and the actual -garter itself, are all carried on separate, long, narrow cushions of -red velvet, heavily trimmed with gold bullion. Owing to the deep -Court mourning, it was decided that the investiture should be -private. No one was to be present except the new Emperor and -Empress, Queen Alexandra, the Grand Master and Grand Mistress of the -Russian Court, the members of the British Embassy, and the Prince of -Wales and his staff. This, as it turned out, was very fortunate. -The ceremony was to take place at the Anitchkoff Palace on the -Nevsky, which Alexander III inhabited throughout his reign, as {163} -he preferred it to the huge rambling Winter Palace. On the appointed -day, we all marched into the great Throne room of the Anitchkoff -Palace, the Prince of Wales leading the way, with five members of his -staff carrying the insignia on the traditional long narrow velvet -cushions. I carried nothing, but we made, I thought, a very -dignified and effective entrance. As we entered the Throne room, a -perfectly audible feminine voice cried out in English, "Oh, my dear! -Do look at them. They look exactly like a row of wet-nurses carrying -babies!" Nothing will induce me to say from whom the remark -proceeded. The two sisters, Empress and Queen, looked at each other -for a minute, and then exploded with laughter. The Emperor fought -manfully for a while to keep his face, until, catching sight of the -member of the Prince of Wales's staff who was carrying his cushion in -the peculiarly maternal fashion that had so excited the risibility of -the Royal sisters, he too succumbed, and his colossal frame quivered -with mirth. Never, I imagine, since its institution in 1349, has the -Order of the Garter been conferred amid such general hilarity, but as -no spectators were present, this lapse from the ordinary decorum of -the ceremonial did not much matter. The general public never heard -of it, nor, I trust, did Queen Victoria. - -The Emperor Alexander III was a man of great personal courage, but he -gave way, under protest, to the wishes of those responsible for his -personal safety. They insisted on his always using {164} the -armour-plated carriages bought from Napoleon III. These coaches were -so immensely heavy that they soon killed the horses dragging them. -Again, on railway journeys, the actual time-table and route of the -Imperial train between two points was always different from the -published time-table and route. Napoleon III's private train had -been purchased at the same time as his steel-plated carriages. This -train had been greatly enlarged and fitted to the Russian gauge. I -do not suppose that any more sumptuous palace on wheels has ever been -built than this train of nine vestibuled cars. It was fitted with -every imaginable convenience. Alexander III sent it to the frontier -to meet his brother-in-law the Prince of Wales, which was the -occasion on which I saw it. - -During the six months following Alexander II's assassination all -social life in Petrograd stopped. We of the Embassy had many other -resources, for in those days the British business colony in Petrograd -was still large, and flourished exceedingly. They had various -sporting clubs, of some of which we were members. There was in -particular the Fishing Club at Harraka Niska in Finland, where the -river Vuoksi issues from the hundred-mile-long Lake Saima. - -It was a curious experience driving to the Finnish railway station in -Petrograd. In the city outside, the date would be June 1, Russian -style. Inside the station, the date became June 13, European style. -In place of the baggy knickerbockers, {165} high boots, and fur caps -of the Russian railwaymen, the employees of the Finnish railway wore -the ordinary uniforms customary on European railways. The tickets -were printed in European, not Russian characters, and the fares were -given in marks and pennies, instead of in roubles and kopecks. The -notices on the railway were all printed in six languages, Finnish, -Swedish, Russian, French, English, and German, and my patriotic -feelings were gratified at noting that all the locomotives had been -built in Glasgow. I was astonished to find that although Finland -formed an integral part of the Russian Empire, there was a Custom -House and Customs examination at the Finnish frontier. - -Finland is a country of endless little hills, and endless forests, -all alike bestrewn with huge granite boulders; it is also a land of -endless rivers and lakes. It is pretty in a monotonous fashion, and -looks wonderfully tidy after Russia proper. The wooden houses and -villages are all neatly painted a chocolate brown, and in spite of -its sparse population it seems very prosperous. The Finns are all -Protestants; the educated classes are mostly Swedish-speaking, the -others talking their own impossible Ural-Altaic language. At the -extremely comfortable club-house at Harraka Niska none of the -fishermen or boatmen could talk anything but Finnish. We all had -little conversation books printed in Russian and Finnish, but we -usually found the language of signs more {166} convenient. In later -years, in South America, it became my duty to interview daily the -Legation cook, an accomplished but extremely adipose female from Old -Spain. I had not then learnt Spanish, and she understood no other -tongue, so we conversed by signs. It is extremely derogatory to -one's personal dignity to be forced to imitate in succession a hen -laying an egg, a sheep bleating, or a duck quacking, and yet this was -the only way in which I could order dinner. No one who has not tried -it can believe how difficult it is to indicate in pantomime certain -comestibles, such, for instance, as kidneys, liver and bacon, or a -Welsh rarebit. - -The fish at Harraka would not look at a fly, and could only be hooked -on a phantom-minnow. The fishing there was very exciting. The big -fish all lay where Lake Saima debouched into the turbulent Vuoksi -river. There was a terrific rapid there, and the boatmen, who knew -every inch of the ground, would head the boat straight for that -seething white caldron of raging waves, lashing and roaring down the -rocky gorge, as they dashed up angry spurts of white spray. Just as -it seemed that nothing could save one from being hurled into that mad -turmoil of leaping waters, where no human being could hope to live -for a minute, a back-current shot the boat swiftly across to the -other bank. That was the moment when the fish were hooked. They -were splendid fighters, and played magnificently. These Harraka fish -were curiously {167} uniform in size, always running from 18 to 22 -lb. Though everyone called them salmon, I think myself that they -were really bull-trout, or _Salmo ferox_. A salmon would have had to -travel at least 400 miles from salt water, and I do not believe that -any fish living could have got up the tremendous Imatra waterfall, -some six miles lower down the Vuoksi. These fish invariably had lice -on them. In Great Britain sea-lice on a salmon are taken as a -certain indication that the fish is fresh-run. These fish cannot -possibly have been fresh-run, so I think it probable that in these -great lakes there may be a fresh-water variety of the parasite. -Another peculiarity of the Harraka fish was that, though they were -excellent eating, they would not keep above two days. I have myself -caught eleven of these big fellows in one day. During June there was -capital grayling fishing in the lower Vuoksi, the fish running large, -and taking the fly readily, though in that heavy water they were apt -to break off. There were plenty of small trout too in the Vuoksi, -but the densely-wooded banks made fishing difficult, and the water -was always crystal-clear, and needed the finest of tackle. - -I spent some most enjoyable days at Koltesha, a small English -shooting-club of ten members, about twenty miles out of Petrograd. -During September, for one fortnight, the marshes round Koltesha were -alive with "double-snipe." This bird migrates in thousands from the -Arctic regions to {168} the far South, at the approach of autumn. -They alighted in the Koltesha marshes to recruit themselves after -their journey from the North Pole, and owing to circumstances beyond -their control, few of them continued their journey southward. This -confiding fowl has never learnt to zig-zag like the other members of -the snipe family, and they paid the penalty for this omission by -usually proceeding to the kitchen. A "double-snipe" is most -delicious eating. The winter shooting at Koltesha was most -delightful. The art of "ski-walking" had first to be learnt, and on -commencing this unaccustomed method of locomotion, various muscles, -which its use called into play for the first time, showed their -resentment by aching furiously. The ground round Koltesha being -hilly was admirably adapted for coasting on ski. It was difficult at -first to shoot from the insecure footing of ski, and the unusual -amount of clothing between one's shoulder and the stock of one's gun -did not facilitate matters. Everything, however, can be learnt in -time. I can claim to be the pioneer of ski on the American -Continent, for in January, 1887, I brought over to Canada the very -first pair of ski ever seen in America. I used to coast down the -toboggan slides at Ottawa on them, amidst universal derision. I was -told that, however useful ski might be in Russia, they were quite -unsuited to Canadian conditions, and would never be popular there, as -the old-fashioned "raquettes" were infinitely superior. Humph! _Qui -vivra verra!_ - -{169} - -Koltesha abounded in black game, "ryabchiks," or hazel-grouse, and -ptarmigan. Russian hares turn snow-white in winter, and are very -difficult to see against a snowy background in consequence. It is -almost impossible to convey on paper any idea of the intense delight -of those days in the sun and the cold, when the air had that -delicious clean smell that always goes with intense frost, the dark -fir woods, with their purple shadows, stood out in sharp contrast to -the dazzling sheet of white snow, and the sunlight gilded the patches -of oak and birch scrub that climbed down the hollows of the low -hills. One returned home glowing from head to foot. We got larger -game too by "ringing them." The process of "ringing" is as follows. -No four-footed creature can travel over the snow without leaving his -tracks behind him. Let us suppose a small wood, one mile in -circumference. If a man travels round this on ski, and if the track -of any animal crosses his trail, going _into_ the wood, and this -track does not again come _out_ of the wood, it is obvious that that -particular animal is still taking cover there. Measures to drive him -out are taken accordingly. We got in this way at Koltesha quite a -number of elks, lynxes, and wolves. - -The best wolf-shooting I ever got was at the invitation of the -Russian Minister of Finance. Great packs of these ravenous brutes -were playing havoc on his estate, two hundred miles from Petrograd, -so he invited a large shooting party to his {170} country house. We -travelled down in a private sleeping-car, and had over twenty miles -to drive in rough country sledges from the station. One of the -guests was an enormously fat Russian General, a perfect mammoth of a -man. As I was very slim in those days, I was told off as this -gigantic warrior's fellow-passenger. Although he took up nine-tenths -of the sledge, I just managed to creep in, but every time we -jolted--and as the track was very rough, this was pretty -frequently--I got 250 lb. of Russian General on the top of me, -squeezing the life out of me. He was a good-natured Colossus, and -apologised profusely for his own obesity, and for his instability, -but I was black and blue all over, and since that day I have felt -profound sympathy for the little princes in the Tower, for I know -what being smothered with a feather-bed feels like. - -The Minister's country house was, as are most other Russian country -houses, a modest wooden building with whitewashed rooms very scantily -furnished. The Minister had, however, thoughtfully brought down his -famous Petrograd chef, and I should judge about three-quarters of the -contents of his wine-cellar. We had to proceed to our places in the -forest in absolute silence, and the wolf being an exceedingly wary -animal with a a very keen sense of smell, all smoking was rigorously -prohibited. - -It was nice open scrubland, undulating gently. The beaters were -skilful and we were very lucky, {171} for after an interminable wait, -the entire pack of wolves rushed down on us. A wolf is killed with -slugs from a smooth-bore. I personally was fortunate, for I got -shots at eight wolves, and six of them felt disinclined for further -exertions. I still have a carriage-rug made of the skins of the -wolves I killed that day. The banging all round meanwhile was -terrific. In two days we accounted for fifty-two of these pests. It -gave me the utmost pleasure killing these murderous, bloodthirsty -brutes; far more than slaying an inoffensive bear. Should a bear -encounter a human being in the course of his daily walks, he is -certainly apt to hug him to death, as a precautionary measure. He is -also addicted to smashing to a jelly, with one blow of his powerful -paws, the head of a chance stranger. These peculiarities apart, the -bear may be regarded as practically harmless. It is otherwise with -the wolf. - -Some of the British Colony were fond of going to Finland for a -peculiar form of sport. I use the last word dubiously, for to kill -any game birds during the breeding season seems a curiously -unsportsmanlike act. Circumstances rather excused this. It is well -known that black game do not pair, but that they are polygamous. -During the breeding season the male birds meet every morning at dawn -on regular fighting grounds, and there battle for the attentions of -the fairer sex. These fighting grounds are well known to the -keepers, who erect there in early autumn conical shelters of fir -{172} branches. The birds become familiar with these shelters -(called in Russian "shagashki") and pay no attention to them. The -"gun" introduces himself into the shelter not later than midnight, -and there waits patiently for the first gleam of dawn. He must on no -account smoke. With the first grey streak of dawn in the sky there -is a great rushing of wings in the air, and dozens of male birds -appear from nowhere; strutting up and down, puffing out their -feathers, and hissing furiously at each other in challenge. The grey -hens meanwhile sit in the surrounding trees, watching, as did the -ladies of old at a tournament, the prowess of their men-folk in the -lists. The grey hens never show themselves, and make no sound; two -things, one would imagine, contrary to every instinct of their sex. -A challenge once accepted, two males begin fighting furiously with -wings, claws, and beaks. So absorbed are the birds in their combat, -that they neither see nor hear anything, and pay no attention to a -gun-shot. Should they be within reach of the "shagashka," that is -the time to fire. It sounds horribly unsportsmanlike, but it must be -remembered that the birds are only just visible in the uncertain -dawn. As dawn matures into daylight, the birds suddenly stop -fighting, and all fly away simultaneously, followed by the grey hens. -I never would kill more than two as specimens, for this splendid bird -is such a thing of joy in his breeding plumage, with his glossy dark -blue satin coat, and white velvet waistcoat, that there {173} is some -excuse for wanting to examine him closer. Ladies, too, loved a -blackcock's tail or wings for their hats. It was also the only way -in which this curious and little-known phase of bird life could be -witnessed. - -The capercailzie is called in Russian "the deaf one." Why this name -should be given to a bird of abnormally acute hearing seems at first -sight puzzling. The explanation is that the male capercailzie in the -breeding season concludes his love-song with a peculiar "tchuck, -tchuck," impossible to reproduce on paper, moving his head rapidly to -and fro the while. During this "tchuck, tchuck," the bird is deaf -and blind to the world. The capercailzie hunter goes out into the -forest at about 1 a.m. and listens intently. As soon as he hears a -capercailzie's song, he moves towards the sound very, very -cautiously. When within half a mile of the bird, he must wait for -the "tchuck, tchuck," which lasts about two minutes, before daring to -advance. The "tchuck" over, he must remain absolutely motionless -until it recommences. The snapping of a twig will be enough to -silence the bird and to make it fly away. It will be seen then that -to approach a capercailzie is a difficult task, and one requiring -infinite patience. Once within shot, there is no particular fun in -shooting a sitting bird the size of a turkey, up at the top of a -tree, even though it only appears as a dusky mass against the faint -beginnings of dawn. - -The real charm of this blackcock and capercailzie shooting was that -one would not otherwise have {174} been out in the great forest at -break of day. - -To me there was always an infinite fascination in seeing these great -Northern tracts of woodland awakening from their long winter sleep. -The sweetness of the dawn, the delicious smell of growing things, the -fresh young life springing up under one's feet, all these appealed to -every fibre in my being. Nature always restores the balance of -things. In Russia, as in Canada, after the rigours of the winter, -once the snow has disappeared, flowers carpet the ground with a -rapidity of growth unknown in more temperate climates. These Finland -woods were covered with a low creeping plant with masses of small, -white, waxy flowers. It was, I think, one of the smaller -cranberries. There was an orange-flowering nettle, too, the leaves -of which changed from green to vivid purple as they climbed the -stalk, making gorgeous patches of colour, and great drifts of blue -hepaticas on the higher ground. To appreciate Nature properly, she -must be seen at unaccustomed times, as she bestirs herself after her -night's rest whilst the sky brightens. - -In Petrograd itself the British Colony found plenty of amusement. We -had an English ice-hill club to which all the Embassy belonged. The -elevation of a Russian ice-hill, some forty feet only, may seem tame -after the imposing heights of Canadian toboggan slides, but I fancy -that the pace travelled is greater in Russia. The ice-hills were -always built in pairs, about three hundred yards apart, with two -parallel runs. Both hills {175} and runs were built of solid blocks -of ice, watered every day, and the pitch of the actual hill was very -steep. In the place of a toboggan we used little sleds two feet -long, mounted on skate-runners, which were kept constantly sharpened. -These travelled over the ice at a tremendous pace, and at the end of -the straight run, the corresponding hill had only to be mounted to -bring you home again to the starting-point. The art of steering -these sleds was soon learnt, once the elementary principle was -grasped that after a turn to the left, a corresponding turn to the -right must be made to straighten up the machine, exactly as is done -instinctively on a bicycle. A wave of the hand or of the foot was -enough to change the direction, the ice-hiller going down head -foremost, with the sled under his chest. - -Longer sleds were used for taking ladies down. The man sat -cross-legged in front, whilst the lady knelt behind him with both her -arms round his neck. Possibly the enforced familiarity of this -attitude was what made the amusement so popular. - -We gave at times evening parties at the ice-hills, when the woods -were lit up with rows of Chinese lanterns, making a charming effect -against the snow, and electric arcs blazed from the summits of the -slides. To those curious in such matters, I may say that as -secondary batteries had not then been invented, and we had no dynamo, -power was furnished direct by powerful Grove two-cell batteries. One -night our amateur electrician was {176} nearly killed by the brown -fumes of nitrous acid these batteries give off from their negative -cells. - -We had an ice-boat on the Gulf of Finland as well. It is only in -early spring, and very seldom then, that this amusement can be -indulged in. The necessary conditions are (1) a heavy thaw to melt -all the snow from the surface of the ice, followed by a sharp frost; -(2) a strong breeze. Nature is not often obliging enough to arrange -matters in this sequence. We had some good sailing, though, and -could get forty miles an hour out of our craft with a decent breeze. -Our boat was of the Dutch, not the Canadian type. I was astonished -to find how close an ice-boat could lay to the wind, for obviously -anything in the nature of leeway is impossible with a boat on -runners. Ice-sailing was bitterly cold work, and the navigation of -the Gulf of Finland required great caution, for in early spring great -cracks appeared in the ice. On one occasion, in avoiding a large -crack, we ran into the omnibus plying on runners between Kronstadt -and the mainland. The driver of the coach was drunk, and lost his -head, to the terror of his passengers, but very little damage was -done. It may be worth while recording this, as it is but seldom that -a boat collides with an omnibus. - -It will be seen that in one way and another there was no lack of -amusement to be found round Petrograd, even during the entire -cessation of Court and social entertainments. - - - - -{177} - -CHAPTER VI - -Love of Russians for children's games--Peculiarities of Petrograd -balls--Some famous beauties of Petrograd Society--The varying garb of -hired waiters--Moscow--Its wonderful beauty--The forest of domes--The -Kremlin--The three famous "Cathedrals"--The Imperial Treasury--The -Sacristy--The Palace--Its splendour--The Terem--A Gargantuan Russian -dinner--An unusual episode at the French Ambassador's -ball--Bombs--Tsarskoe Selo--Its interior--Extraordinary collection of -curiosities in Tsarskoe Park--Origin of term "Vauxhall" for railway -station in Russia--Peterhof--Charm of park there--Two Russian -illusions--A young man of 25 delivers an Ultimatum to Russia--How it -came about--M. de Giers--Other Foreign Ministers--Paraguay--The -polite Japanese dentist--A visit to Gatchina--Description of the -Palace--Delights of the children's play-room there. - - -The lingering traces of the child which are found in most Russian -natures account probably for their curious love of indoor games. -Lady Dufferin had weekly evening parties during Lent, when dancing -was rigidly prohibited. Quite invariably, some lady would go up to -her and beg that they might be allowed to play what she would term -"English running games." So it came about that bald-headed Generals, -covered with Orders, and quite elderly ladies, would with immense -glee play "Blind-man's buff," "Musical chairs," "Hunt the slipper," -and "General post." I believe that they would have joined cheerfully -in "Ring a ring of roses," had we only thought of it. - -{178} - -I think it is this remnant of the child in them which, coupled with -their quick-working brains, wonderful receptivity, and absolute -naturalness, makes Russians of the upper class so curiously -attractive. - -At balls in my time, oddly enough, quadrilles were the most popular -dances. There was always a "leader" for these quadrilles, whose -function it was to invent new and startling figures. The "leader" -shouted out his directions from the centre of the room, and however -involved the figures he devised, however complicated the manoeuvres -he evolved, he could rely on being implicitly obeyed by the dancers, -who were used to these intricate entanglements, and enjoyed them. -Woe betide the "leader" should he lose his head, or give a wrong -direction! He would find two hundred people inextricably tangled up. -I calculate that many years have been taken off my own life by the -responsibilities thrust upon me by being frequently made to officiate -in this capacity. Balls in Petrograd in the "'eighties" invariably -concluded with the "Danse Anglaise," our own familiar "Sir Roger de -Coverley." - -I never saw an orchestra at a ball in Petrograd, except at the Winter -Palace. All Russians preferred a pianist, but a pianist of a quite -special brand. These men, locally known as "tappeurs," cultivated a -peculiar style of playing, and could get wonderful effects out of an -ordinary grand piano. There was in particular one absolute genius -{179} called Altkein. Under his superlatively skilled fingers the -piano took on all the resonance and varied colour of a full -orchestra. Altkein told me that he always played what he called -"four-handed," that is doubling the parts of each hand. By the end -of the evening he was absolutely exhausted. - -The most beautiful woman in Petrograd Society was unquestionably -Countess Zena Beauharnais, afterwards Duchess of Leuchtenberg; a -tall, queenly blonde with a superb figure. Nature had been very -generous to her, for in addition to her wonderful beauty, she had a -glorious soprano voice. I could not but regret that she and her -sister, Princess Bieloselskava, had not been forced by circumstances -to earn their living on the operatic stage, for the two sisters, -soprano and contralto, would certainly have achieved a European -reputation with their magnificent voices. How they would have played -Amneris and the title-rôle in "Aïda"! The famous General Skobeleff -was their brother. - -Two other strikingly beautiful women were Princess Kitty Dolgorouki, -a piquant little brunette, and her sister-in-law, winning, -golden-haired Princess Mary Dolgorouki. After a lapse of nearly -forty years, I may perhaps be permitted to express my gratitude to -these two charming ladies for the consistent kindness they showered -on a peculiarly uninteresting young man, and I should like to add to -their names that of Countess Betsy Schouvaloff. I may remark that -the somewhat {180} homely British forms of their baptismal names -which these _grandes dames_ were fond of adopting always amused me. -Our two countries were in theory deadly enemies, yet they borrowed -little details from us whenever they could. I think that the racial -animosity was only skin-deep. This custom of employing English -diminutives for Russian names extended to the men too, for Prince -Alexander Dolgorouki, Princess Kitty's husband, was always known as -"Sandy," whilst Countess Betsy's husband was invariably spoken of as -"Bobby" Schouvaloff. Countess Betsy, mistress of one of the -stateliest houses in Petrograd, was acknowledged to be the -best-dressed woman in Russia. I never noticed whether she were -really good-looking or not, for such was the charm of her animation, -and the sparkle of her vivacity and quick wit, that one remarked the -outer envelope less than the nimble intellect and extraordinary -attractiveness that underlay it. She was a daughter of that -"Princesse Château" to whom I referred earlier in these reminiscences. - -In the great Russian houses there were far fewer liveried servants -than is customary in other European countries. This was due to the -difficulty of finding sufficiently trained men. The actual work of -the house was done by hordes of bearded, red-shirted shaggy-headed -moujiks, who their household duties over, retired to their -underground fastnesses. Consequently when dinners or other -entertainments were given recourse was had {181} to hired waiters, -mostly elderly Germans. It was the curious custom to dress these -waiters up in the liveries of the family giving the entertainment. -The liveries seldom fitted, and the features of the old waiters were -quite familiar to most of us, yet politeness dictated that we should -pretend to consider them as servants of the house. Though perfectly -conscious of having seen the same individual who, arrayed in orange -and white, was standing behind one's chair, dressed in sky-blue only -two evenings before, and equally aware of the probability of meeting -him the next evening in a different house, clad in crimson, it was -considered polite to compliment the mistress of the house on the -admirable manner in which her servants were turned out. - -There is in all Russian houses a terrible place known as the -"buffetnaya." This is a combination of pantry, larder, and -serving-room. People at all particular about the cleanliness of -their food, or the nicety with which it is served, should avoid this -awful spot as they would the plague. A sensitive nose can easily -locate the whereabouts of the "buffetnaya" from a considerable -distance. - -From Petrograd to Moscow is only a twelve hours' run, but in those -twelve hours the traveller is transported into a different world. -After the soulless regularity of Peter the Great's sham classical -creation on the banks of the Neva, the beauty of the semi-Oriental -ancient capital comes as a perfect revelation. Moscow, glowing with -colour, {182} is seated like Rome on gentle hills, and numbers over -three hundred churches. These churches have each the orthodox five -domes, and this forest of domes, many of them gilt, others silvered, -some blue and gold, or striped with bands and spirals of vivid -colour, when seen amongst the tender greenery of May, forms a -wonderful picture, unlike anything else in the world. The winding, -irregular streets lined with buildings in every imaginable style of -architecture, and of every possible shade of colour; the remains of -the ancient city walls with their lofty watch-towers crowned with -curious conical roofs of grass-green tiles; the great irregular bulk -of the Kremlin, towering over all; make a whole of incomparable -beauty. There is in the world but one Moscow, as there is but one -Venice, and one Oxford. - -The great sea of gilded and silvered domes is best seen from the -terrace of the Kremlin overlooking the river, though the wealth of -detail nearer at hand is apt to distract the eye. The soaring -snow-white shaft of Ivan Veliki's tower with its golden pinnacles -dominates everything, though the three "Cathedrals," standing almost -side by side, hallowed by centuries of tradition, are very sacred -places to a Russian, who would consider them the heart of Moscow, and -of the Muscovite world. "Mother Moscow," they call her -affectionately, and I understand it. - -The Russian word "Sobor" is wrongly translated as "Cathedral." A -"sobor" is merely a {183} church of peculiar sanctity or of special -dignity. The three gleaming white, gold-domed churches of the -Kremlin are of quite modest dimensions, yet their venerable walls are -rich with the associations of centuries. In the Church of the -Assumption the Tsars, and later the Emperors, were all crowned; in -the Church of the Archangel the Tsars were buried, though the -Emperors lie in Petrograd. The dim Byzantine interior of the -Assumption Church, with its faded frescoes on a gold ground, and its -walls shimmering with gold, silver, and jewels, is immensely -impressive. Here is the real Russia, not the Petrograd stuccoed -veneered Russia of yesterday, but ancient Muscovy, sending its roots -deep down into the past. - -Surely Peter prepared the way for the destruction of his country by -uprooting this tree of ancient growth, and by trying to create in one -short lifetime a new pseudo-European Empire, with a new capital. - -The city should be seen from the Kremlin terrace as the light is -fading from the sky and the thousands of church-bells clash out their -melodious evening hymn. The Russians have always been master -bell-founders, and their bells have a silvery tone unknown in Western -Europe. In the gloaming, the Eastern character of the city is much -more apparent. The blaze of colour has vanished, and the dusky -silhouettes of the church domes take on the onion-shaped forms of the -Orient. Delhi, as seen in later years from the fort at {184} sunset -was curiously reminiscent of Moscow. - -I do not suppose that more precious things have ever been gathered -together under one roof than the Imperial Treasury at Moscow -contained in those days. The eye got surfeited with the sight of so -many splendours, and I can only recall the great collection of crowns -and thrones of the various Tsars. One throne of Persian workmanship -was studded with two thousand diamonds and rubies; another, also from -Persia, contained over two thousand large turquoises. There must -have been at least a dozen of these glittering thrones, but the most -interesting of all was the original ivory throne of the Emperors of -Byzantium, brought to Moscow in 1472 by Sophia Palaeologus, wife of -Ivan III. Constantine the Great may have sat on that identical -throne. It seems curious that the finest collection in the world of -English silver-ware of Elizabeth's, James I's, and Charles I's time -should be found in the Kremlin at Moscow, till it is remembered that -nearly all the plate of that date in England was melted down during -the Civil War of 1642-1646. I wonder what has become of all these -precious things now! - -The sacristy contains an equally wonderful collection of Church -plate. I was taken over this by an Archimandrite, and I had been -previously warned that he would expect a substantial tip for his -services. The Archimandrite's feelings were, however, to be spared -by my representing this tip as my contribution to the poor of his -parish. The Archimandrite {185} was so immensely imposing, with his -violet robes, diamond cross, and long flowing beard, that I felt -quite shy of offering him the modest five roubles which I was told -would be sufficient. So I doubled it. The Archimandrite pocketed it -joyfully, and so moved was he by my unexpected _largesse_, that the -excellent ecclesiastic at once motioned me to my knees, and gave me a -most fervent blessing, which I am persuaded was well worth the extra -five roubles. - -The Great Palace of the Kremlin was rebuilt by Nicholas I about 1840. -It consequently belongs to the "period of bad taste"; in spite of -that it is extraordinarily sumptuous. The St. George's Hall is 200 -feet long and 60 feet high; the other great halls, named after the -Russian Orders of Chivalry, are nearly as large. Each of these is -hung with silk of the same colour as the ribbon of the Order; St. -George's Hall, orange and black; St. Andrew's Hall, sky-blue; St. -Alexander Nevsky's, pink; St. Catherine's, red and white. I imagine -that every silkworm in the world must have been kept busy for months -in order to prepare sufficient material for these acres of silk-hung -walls. The Kremlin Palace may not be in the best of taste, but these -huge halls, with their jasper and malachite columns and profuse -gilding, are wonderfully gorgeous, and exactly correspond with one's -preconceived ideas of what an Emperor of Russia's palace ought to be -like. There is a chapel in the Kremlin Palace with the quaint title -of {186} "The Church of the Redeemer behind the Golden Railing." - -The really interesting portion of the Palace is the sixteenth century -part, known as the "Terem." These small, dim, vaulted halls with -their half-effaced frescoes on walls and ceilings are most -fascinating. It is all mediæval, but not with the mediævalism of -Western Europe; neither is it Oriental; it is pure Russian; simple, -dignified, and delightfully archaic. One could not imagine the old -Tsars in a more appropriate setting. Compared with the strident -splendours of the modern palace, the vaulted rooms of the old Terem -seem to typify the difference between Petrograd and Moscow. - -It so happened that later in life I was destined to become very -familiar with the deserted palace at Agra, in India, begun by Akbar, -finished by Shah Jehan. How different the Oriental conception of a -palace is from the Western! The Agra Palace is a place of shady -courts and gardens, dotted with exquisitely graceful pavilions of -transparent white marble roofed with gilded copper. No two of these -pavilions are similar, and in their varied decorations an -inexhaustible invention is shown. The white marble is so placed that -it is seen everywhere in strong contrast to Akbar's massive buildings -of red sandstone. During the Coronation ceremonies, King-Emperor -George V seated himself, of right, on the Emperor Akbar's throne in -the great Hall of Audience in Agra Palace. - -{187} - -Though Moscow may appear a dream-city when viewed from the Kremlin, -it is an eminently practical city as well. It was, in my time, the -chief manufacturing centre of Russia, and Moscow business-men had -earned the reputation of being well able to look after themselves. - -Another side of the life of the great city could be seen in the -immense Ermitage restaurant, where Moscow people assured you with -pride that the French cooking was only second to Paris. The little -Tartar waiters at the Ermitage were, drolly enough, dressed like -hospital orderlies, in white linen from head to foot. There might -possibly be money in an antiseptic restaurant, should some -enterprising person start one. The idea would be novel, and this is -an age when new ideas seem attractive. - -A Russian merchant in Moscow, a partner in an English firm, imagined -himself to be under a great debt of gratitude to the British Embassy -in Petrograd, on account of a heavy fine imposed upon him, which we -had succeeded in getting remitted. This gentleman was good enough to -invite a colleague and myself to dine at a certain "Traktir," -celebrated for its Russian cooking. I was very slim in those days, -but had I had any idea of the Gargantuan repast we were supposed to -assimilate, I should have borrowed a suit of clothes from the most -adipose person of my acquaintance, in order to secure additional -cargo-space. - -In the quaint little "Traktir" decorated in {188} old-Russian style, -after the usual fresh caviar, raw herrings, pickled mushrooms, and -smoked sturgeon of the "zakuska," we commenced with cold sucking-pig -eaten with horse-radish. Then followed a plain little soup, composed -of herrings and cucumbers stewed in sour beer. Slices of boiled -salmon and horse-radish were then added, and the soup was served -iced. This soup is distinctly an acquired taste. This was succeeded -by a simple dish of sterlets, boiled in wine, with truffles, -crayfish, and mushrooms. After that came mutton stuffed with -buckwheat porridge, pies of the flesh and isinglass of the sturgeon, -and Heaven only knows what else. All this accompanied by red and -white Crimean wines, Kvass, and mead. I had always imagined that -mead was an obsolete beverage, indulged in principally by ancient -Britons, and drunk for choice out of their enemies' skulls, but here -it was, foaming in beautiful old silver tankards; and perfectly -delicious it was! Oddly enough, the Russian name for it, "meod," is -almost identical with ours. - -Only once in my life have I suffered so terribly from repletion, and -that was in the island of Barbados, at the house of a hospitable -planter. We sat down to luncheon at one, and rose at five. The -sable serving-maids looked on the refusal of a dish as a terrible -slur on the cookery of the house, and would take no denial. "No, you -like dis, sar, it real West India dish. I gib you lilly piece." -What with turtle, and flying-fish, and calipash and calipee, and -pepper-pot, and devilled land-crabs, I {189} felt like the -boa-constrictor in the Zoological Gardens after his monthly meal. - -I was not fortunate enough to witness the coronation of either -Alexander III or that of Nicholas II. In the perfect setting of "the -Red Staircase," of the ancient stone-built hall known as the -"Granovitaya Palata," and of the "Gold Court," the ceremonial must be -deeply impressive. On no stage could more picturesque surroundings -possibly be devised. During the coronation festivities, most of the -Ambassadors hired large houses in Moscow, and transferred their -Embassies to the old capital for three weeks. At the coronation of -Nicholas II, of unfortunate memory, the French Ambassador, the Comte -de Montebello, took a particularly fine house in Moscow, the -Shérémaitieff Palace, and it was arranged that he should give a great -ball the night after the coronation, at which the newly-crowned -Emperor and Empress would be present. The French Government own a -wonderful collection of splendid old French furniture, tapestries, -and works of art, known as the "Garde Meubles." Under the Monarchy -and Empire, these all adorned the interiors of the various palaces. -To do full honour to the occasion, the French Government dispatched -vanloads of the choicest treasures of the "Garde Meubles" to Moscow, -and the Shérémaitieff Palace became a thing of beauty, with Louis -Quatorze Gobelins, and furniture made for Marie-Antoinette. To -enhance the effect, the Comte and Comtesse de Montebello {190} -arranged the most elaborate floral decorations, and took immense -pains over them. On the night of the ball, two hours before their -guests were due, the Ambassador was informed that the Chief of Police -was outside and begged for permission to enter the temporary Embassy. -Embassies enjoying what is known as "exterritoriality," none of the -police can enter except on the invitation of the Ambassador; much as -vampires, according to the legend, could only secure entrance to a -house at the personal invitation of the owner. It will be remembered -that these unpleasing creatures displayed great ingenuity in securing -this permission; indeed the really expert vampires prided themselves -on the dexterity with which they could inveigle their selected victim -into welcoming them joyfully into his domicile. The Chief of Police -informed the French Ambassador that he had absolutely certain -information that a powerful bomb had been introduced into the -Embassy, concealed in a flower-pot. M. de Montebello was in a -difficult position. On the previous day the Ambassador had -discovered that every single electric wire in the house had been -deliberately severed by some unknown hand. French electricians had -repaired the damage, but it was a disquieting incident in the -circumstances. The policeman was positive that his information was -correct, and the consequences of a terrific bomb exploding in one's -house are eminently disagreeable, so he gave his reluctant permission -to have the Embassy searched, though his earlier {191} guests might -be expected within an hour. Armies of police myrmidons appeared, and -at once proceeded to unpot between two and three thousand growing -plants, and to pick all the floral decorations to pieces. Nothing -whatever was found, but it would be unreasonable to expect secret -police, however zealous, to exhibit much skill as trained florists. -They made a frightful hash of things, and not only ruined the -elaborate decorations, but so managed to cover the polished floors -with earth that the rooms looked like ploughed fields, dancing was -rendered impossible, and poor Madame de Montebello was in tears. As -the guests arrived, the police had to be smuggled out through back -passages. This was one of the little amenities of life in a -bomb-ridden land. - -During the summer months I was much at Tsarskoe Selo. Tsarskoe is -only fourteen miles from Petrograd, and some of my Russian friends -had villas there. The gigantic Old Palace of Tsarskoe is merely an -enlarged Winter Palace, and though its garden façade is nearly a -quarter of a mile long, it is uninteresting and unimpressive, being -merely an endless repetition of the same details. I was taken over -the interior several times, but such a vast quantity of rooms leaves -only a confused impression of magnificence. I only recall the really -splendid staircase and the famous lapis-lazuli and amber rooms. The -lapis-lazuli room is a blaze of blue and gold, with walls, furniture, -and chandeliers encrusted with that precious substance. {192} The -amber room is perfectly beautiful. All the walls, cabinets, and -tables are made of amber of every possible shade, from straw-colour -to deep orange. There are also great groups of figures carved -entirely out of amber. Both the lapis and the amber room have -curious floors of black ebony inlaid with mother-of-pearl, forming a -very effective colour scheme. I have vague memories of the "gold" -and "silver" rooms, but very distinct recollections of the bedroom of -one of the Empresses, who a hundred years before the late Lord Lister -had discovered the benefits of antiseptic surgery had with some -curious prophetic instinct had her sleeping-room constructed on the -lines of a glorified modern operating theatre. The walls of this -quaint apartment were of translucent opal glass, decorated with -columns of bright purple glass, with a floor of inlaid -mother-of-pearl. Personally, I should always have fancied a faint -smell of chloroform lingering about the room. - -Catherine the Great had her monogram placed everywhere at Tsarskoe -Selo, on doors, walls, and ceilings. It was difficult to connect her -with the interlaced "E's," until one remembered that the Russian form -of the name is "Ekaterina." How wise the Russians have been in -retaining the so-called Cyrillian alphabet in writing their tongue! - -In other Slavonic languages, such as Polish and Czech, where the -Roman alphabet has been adopted, unholy combinations of "cz," "zh," -and "sz" have to be resorted to to reproduce sounds which the {193} -Cyrillian alphabet could express with a single letter; and the tragic -thing is that, be the letters piled together never so thickly, they -invariably fail to give the foreigner the faintest idea of how the -word should really be pronounced. Take the much-talked-of town of -Przemysl, for instance. - -The park of Tsarskoe is eighteen miles in circumference, and every -portion of it is thrown open freely to the public. In spite of being -quite flat, it is very pretty with its lake and woods, and was most -beautifully kept. To an English eye its trees seemed stunted, for in -these far Northern regions no forest trees attain great size. Limes -and oaks flourish moderately well, but the climate is too cold for -beeches. At the latitude of Petrograd neither apples, pears, nor any -kind of fruit tree can be grown; raspberries and strawberries are the -only things that can be produced, and they are both superlatively -good. The park at Tsarskoe was full of a jumble of the most -extraordinarily incongruous buildings and monuments; it would have -taken a fortnight to see them all properly. There was a Chinese -village, a Chinese theatre, a Dutch dairy, an English Gothic castle, -temples, hanging gardens, ruins, grottoes, fountains, and numbers of -columns, triumphal arches, and statues. On the lake there was a -collection of boats of all nations, varying from a Chinese sampan to -an English light four-oar; from a Venetian gondola to a Brazilian -catamaran. There was also a fleet of miniature men-of-war, and three -of Catherine's great {194} gilt state-barges on the lake. One arm of -the lake was spanned by a bridge of an extremely rare blue Siberian -marble. Anyone seeing the effect of this blue marble bridge must -have congratulated himself on the fact that it was extremely -improbable that any similar bridge would ever be erected elsewhere, -so rare was the material of which it was constructed. - -I never succeeded in finding the spot in Tsarskoe Park where a sentry -stands on guard over a violet which Catherine the Great once found -there. Catherine, finding the first violet of spring, ordered a -sentry to be placed over it, to protect the flower from being -plucked. She forgot to rescind the order, and the sentry continued -to be posted there. It developed at last into a regular tradition of -Tsarskoe, and so, day and night, winter and summer, a sentry stood in -Tsarskoe Park over a spot where, 150 years before, a violet once grew. - -The Russian name for a railway station is "Vauxhall," and the origin -of this is rather curious. The first railway in Europe opened for -passenger traffic was the Liverpool and Manchester, inaugurated in -1830. Five years later, Nicholas I, eager to show that Russia was -well abreast of the times, determined to have a railway of his own, -and ordered one to be built between Petrograd and Tsarskoe Selo, a -distance of fourteen miles. The railway was opened in 1837, without -any intermediate stations. Unfortunately, with the exception of a -few Court officials, no one ever wanted to go to Tsarskoe, so the -line could hardly be called a commercial {195} success. Then someone -had a brilliant idea! Vauxhall Gardens in South London were then at -the height of their popularity. The Tsarskoe line should be extended -two miles to a place called Pavlosk, where the railway company would -be given fifty acres of ground on which to construct a "Vauxhall -Gardens," outbidding its London prototype in attractions. No sooner -said than done! The Pavlosk "Vauxhall" became enormously popular -amongst Petrogradians in summer-time; the trains were crowded and the -railway became a paying proposition. As the Tsarskoe station was the -only one then in existence in Petrograd, the worthy citizens got into -the habit of directing their own coachmen or cabdrivers simply to go -"to Vauxhall." So the name got gradually applied to the actual -station building in Petrograd. When the Nicholas railway to Moscow -was completed, the station got to be known as the "Moscow Vauxhall." -And so it spread, until it came about that every railway station in -the Russian Empire, from the Baltic to the Pacific, derived its name -from a long-vanished and half-forgotten pleasure-garden in South -London, the memory of which is only commemorated to-day by a bridge -and a railway station on its site. The name "Vauxhall" itself is, I -believe, a corruption of "Folks-Hall," or of its Dutch variant -"Volks-hall." Even in my day the Pavlosk Vauxhall was a most -attractive spot, with an excellent orchestra, myriads of coloured -lamps, and a great semicircle of restaurants and refreshment booths. -When I {196} knew it, the Tsarskoe railway still retained its -original rolling-stock of 1837; little queer over-upholstered -carriages, and quaint archaic-looking engines. It had, I think, been -built to a different gauge to the standard Russian one; anyhow it had -no physical connection with the other railways. It was subsequently -modernised. - -Peterhof is far more attractive than Tsarskoe as it stands on the -Gulf of Finland, and the coast, rising a hundred feet from the sea, -redeems the place from the uniform dead flat of the other environs of -Petrograd. As its name implies, Peterhof is the creation of Peter -himself, who did his best to eclipse Versailles. His fountains and -waterworks certainly run Versailles very close. The Oriental in -Peter peeped out when he constructed staircases of gilt copper, and -of coloured marbles for the water to flow over, precisely as Shah -Jehan did in his palaces at Delhi and Agra. As the temperature both -at Delhi and Agra often touches 120° during the summer months, these -decorative cascades would appear more appropriate there than at -Peterhof, where the summer temperature seldom rises to 70°. - -The palace stands on a lofty terrace facing the sea. A broad -straight vista has been cut through the fir-woods opposite it, down -to the waters of the Gulf. Down the middle of this avenue runs a -canal flanked on either side by twelve fountains. When _les grandes -eaux_ are playing, the effect of this perspective of fountains and of -Peter's gilded water-chutes is really very fine indeed. I think that -the {197} Oriental in Peter showed itself again here. There is a -long single row of almost precisely similar fountains in front of the -Taj at Agra. - -As at Tsarskoe, the public have free access to every portion of the -park, which stretches for four miles along the sea, with many -gardens, countless fountains, temples and statues. There was in -particular a beautiful Ionic colonnade of pink marble, from the -summit of which cataracts of water spouted when the fountains played. -The effect of this pink marble temple seen through the film of -falling water was remarkably pretty. What pleased me were the two -small Dutch châteaux in the grounds, "Marly" and "Monplaisir," where -Peter had lived during the building of his great palace. These two -houses had been built by imported Dutch craftsmen, and the sight of a -severe seventeenth-century Dutch interior with its tiles and sober -oak-panelling was so unexpected in Russia. It was almost as much of -a surprise as is Groote Constantia, some sixteen miles south of Cape -Town. To drive down a mile-long avenue of the finest oaks in the -world, and to find at the end of it, amidst hedges of clipped pink -oleander and blue plumbago, a most perfect Dutch château, exactly as -Governor Van der Stell left it in 1667, is so utterly unexpected at -the southern extremity of the African Continent! Groote Constantia, -the property of the Cape Government, still contains all its original -furniture and pictures of 1667. It is the typical -seventeenth-century Continental château, the main building with its -façade {198} elaborately decorated in plaster, flanked by two wings -at right angles to it, but the last place in the world where you -would look for such a finished whole is South Africa. To add to the -unexpectedness, the vines for which Constantia is famous are grown in -fields enclosed with hedges, with huge oaks as hedgerow timber. This -gives such a thoroughly English look to the landscape that I never -could realise that the sea seen through the trees was the Indian -Ocean, and that the Cape of Good Hope was only ten miles away. -Macao, the ancient Portuguese colony forty-five miles from Hong-Kong, -is another "surprise-town." It is as though Aladdin's Slave of the -Lamp had dumped a seventeenth-century Southern European town down in -the middle of China, with churches, plazas, and fountains complete. - -There is really a plethora of palaces round Peterhof. They grow as -thick as quills on a porcupine's back. One of them, I cannot recall -which, had a really beautiful dining-room, built entirely of pink -marble. In niches in the four angles of the room were solid silver -fountains six feet high, where Naiads and Tritons spouted water fed -by a running stream. I should have thought this room more -appropriate to India than to Northern Russia, but one of the fondest -illusions Russians cherish is that they dwell in a semi-tropical -climate. - -In Petrograd, as soon as the temperature reached 60°, old gentlemen -would appear on the Nevsky dressed in white linen, with Panama hats, -and white {199} umbrellas, but still wearing the thickest of -overcoats. Should the sun's rays become just perceptible, iced Kvass -and lemonade were at once on sale in all the streets. On these -occasions I made myself quite popular at the Yacht Club by observing, -as I buttoned up my overcoat tightly before venturing into the open -air, that this tropical heat was almost unendurable. This invariably -provoked gratified smiles of assent. - -Another point as to which Russians were for some reason touchy was -the fact that the water of the Gulf of Finland is perfectly fresh. -Ships can fill their tanks from the water alongside for ten miles -below Kronstadt, and the catches of the fishing-boats that came in to -Peterhof consisted entirely of pike, perch, eels, roach, and other -fresh-water fish. Still Russians disliked intensely hearing their -sea alluded to as fresh-water. I tactfully pretended to ignore the -fringe of fresh-water reeds lining the shore at Peterhof, and after -bathing in the Gulf would enlarge on the bracing effect a swim in -real salt-water had on the human organism. This, and a few happy -suggestions that after the intense brine of the Gulf the waters of -the Dead Sea would appear insipidly brackish, conduced towards making -me amazingly popular. - -In my younger days I was never really happy without a daily swim -during the summer months. - -The woods sloping down to the Gulf are delightful in summer-time, and -are absolutely carpeted with flowers. The flowers seem to realise -how short the {200} span of life allotted to them is, and endeavour -to make the most of it. So do the mosquitoes. - -I have very vivid recollections of one especial visit to Peterhof. -In the summer of 1882, the Ambassador and two other members of the -Embassy were away in England on leave. The Chargé d'Affaires, who -replaced the Ambassador, was laid up with an epidemic that was -working great havoc then in Petrograd, as was the Second Secretary. -This epidemic was probably due to the extremely unsatisfactory -sanitary condition of the city. Consequently no one was left to -carry on the work of the Embassy but myself and the new Attaché, a -mere lad. - -The relations of Great Britain and France in the "'eighties" were -widely different from those cordial ones at present prevailing -between the two countries. Far from being trusted friends and -allies, the tension between England and France was often strained -almost to the breaking-point, especially with regard to Egyptian -affairs. This was due in a great measure to Bismarck's traditional -foreign policy of attempting to embroil her neighbours, to the -greater advantage of Germany. In old-fashioned surgery, doctors -frequently introduced a foreign body into an open wound in order to -irritate it, and prevent its healing unduly quickly. This was termed -a seton. Bismarck's whole policy was founded on the introduction of -setons into open wounds, to prevent their healing. His successors in -office endeavoured to continue this policy, but did {201} not -succeed, for though they might share Bismarck's entire want of -scruples, they lacked his commanding genius. - -Ismail, Khedive of Egypt since 1863, had brought his country to the -verge of bankruptcy by his gross extravagance. Great Britain and -France had established in 1877 a Dual Control of Egyptian affairs in -the interest of the foreign bondholders, but the two countries did -not pull well together. In 1879 the incorrigible Ismail was deposed -in favour of Tewfik, and two years later a military revolt was -instigated by Arabi Pasha. Very unwisely, attempts were made to -propitiate Arabi by making him a member of the Egyptian Cabinet, and -matters went from bad to worse. In May, 1882, the French and British -fleets appeared before Alexandria and threatened it, and on June 11, -1882, the Arab population massacred large numbers of the foreign -residents of Alexandria. Still the French Government refused to take -any definite action, and systematically opposed every proposal made -by the British Government. We were perfectly well aware that the -opposition of the French to the British policy was consistently -backed up by Russia, Russia being in its turn prompted from Berlin. -All this we knew. After the massacre of June 11, the French fleet, -instead of acting, sailed away from Alexandria. - -Amongst the usual daily sheaf of telegrams from London which the -Attaché and I decyphered on July 12, 1882, was one announcing that -the {202} British Mediterranean Squadron had on the previous day -bombarded and destroyed the forts of Alexandria, and that in two -days' time British marines would be landed and the city of Alexandria -occupied. There were also details of further steps that would be -taken, should circumstances render them necessary. All these facts -were to be communicated to the Russian Government at once. I went -off with this weighty telegram to the house of the Chargé d'Affaires, -whom I found very weak and feverish, and quite unable to rise from -his bed. He directed me to go forthwith to Peterhof, to see M. de -Giers, the Russian Minister for Foreign Affairs, who was there in -attendance on the Emperor, and to make my statement to him. I placed -the Attaché in charge of the Chancery, and had time admitted of it, I -should certainly have smeared that youth's cheeks and lips with some -burnt cork, to add a few years to his apparent age, and to delude -people into the belief that he had already begun to shave. The -dignity of the British Embassy had to be considered. I begged of him -to refrain from puerile levity in any business interviews he might -have, and I implored him to try to conceal the schoolboy under the -mask of the zealous official. I then started for Peterhof. It is -not often that a young man of twenty-five is called upon to deliver -what was virtually an Ultimatum to the mighty Russian Empire, and I -had no illusions whatever as to the manner in which my communication -would be received. - -{203} - -I saw M. de Giers at Peterhof, and read him my message. I have never -in my life seen a man so astonished; he was absolutely flabbergasted. -The Gladstone Government of 1880-85 was then in power in England, and -it was a fixed axiom with every Continental statesman (and not, I am -bound to admit, an altogether unfounded one) that under no -circumstances whatever would the Gladstone Cabinet ever take definite -action. They would talk eternally; they would never act. M. de -Giers at length said to me, "I have heard your communication with -great regret. I have noted what you have said with even deeper -regret." He paused for a while, and then added very gravely, "The -Emperor's regret will be even more profound than my own, and I will -not conceal from you that his Majesty will be highly displeased when -he learns the news you have brought me." I inquired of M. de Giers -whether he wished me to see the Emperor, and to make my communication -in person to His Imperial Majesty, and felt relieved when he told me -that it was unnecessary, as I was not feeling particularly anxious to -face an angry Autocrat alone. I left a transcript I had myself made -of the telegram I had decyphered with M. de Giers, and left. A -moment's reflection will show that to leave a copy of decoded -telegram with anyone would be to render the code useless. The -original cypher telegram would be always accessible, and a decypher -of it would be tantamount to giving away the code. It was our -practice to make transcripts, giving the {204} sense in totally -different language, and with the position of every sentence altered. - -After that, as events in Egypt developed, and until the Chargé -d'Affaires was about again, I journeyed to Peterhof almost daily to -see M. de Giers. We always seemed to get on very well together, in -spite of racial animosities. - -The clouds in Egypt rolled away, and with them the very serious -menace to which I have alluded. Events fortunately shaped themselves -propitiously, On September 13, 1882, Sir Garnet Wolseley utterly -routed Arabi's forces at Tel-el-Kebir; Arabi was deported to Ceylon, -and the revolt came to an end. - -A diplomat naturally meets Ministers of Foreign Affairs of many -types. There was a strong contrast between the polished and courtly -M. de Giers, who in spite of his urbanity could manage to infuse a -very strong sub-acid flavour into his suavity when he chose, and some -other Ministers with whom I have come in contact. A few years later, -when at Buenos Ayres, preliminary steps were taken for drawing up an -Extradition Treaty between Great Britain and Paraguay, and as there -were details which required adjusting, I was sent 1,100 miles up the -river to Asuncion, the unsophisticated capital of the Inland -Republic. Dr. ----, at that time Paraguayan Foreign Minister, was a -Guarani, of pure Indian blood. He did not receive me at the Ministry -for Foreign Affairs, for the excellent reason that there was no such -place in that primitive {205} republic, but in his own extremely -modest residence. When his Excellency welcomed me in the whitewashed -sala of that house, sumptuously furnished with four wooden chairs, -and nothing else whatever, he had on neither shoes, stockings, nor -shirt, and wore merely a pair of canvas trousers, and an unbuttoned -coat of the same material, affording ample glimpses of his somewhat -dusky skin. In the suffocating heat of Asuncion such a costume has -its obvious advantages; still I cannot imagine, let us say, the -French Minister for Foreign Affairs receiving the humblest member of -a Foreign Legation at the Quai d'Orsay with bare feet, shirtless, and -clad only in two garments. - -Dr. ----, in spite of being Indian by blood, spoke most correct and -finished Spanish, and had all the courtesy which those who use that -beautiful language seem somehow to acquire instinctively. It is to -be regretted that the same cannot be said of all those using the -English language. Not to be outdone by this polite Paraguayan, I -responded in the same vein, and we mutually smothered each other with -the choicest flowers of Castilian courtesy. These little amenities, -though doubtless tending to smooth down the asperities of life, are -apt to consume a good deal of time. - -Once at Kyoto in Japan, I had occasion for the services of a dentist. -As the dentist only spoke Japanese, I took my interpreter with me. -After removing my shoes at the door--an unusual preliminary to a -visit to a dentist--we went upstairs, where {206} we found a dapper -little individual in kimono and white socks, surrounded by the most -modern and up-to-date dental paraphernalia, sucking his breath, and -rubbing his knees with true Japanese politeness. Eager to show that -a foreigner could also have delightful manners, I sucked my breath, -if anything, rather louder, and rubbed my knees a trifle harder. -"Dentist says," came from the interpreter, "will you honourably deign -to explain where trouble lies in honourable tooth?" - -"If the dentist will honourably deign to examine my left-hand lower -molar," I responded with charming courtesy, "he will find it requires -stopping, but for Heaven's sake, Mr. Nakimura, ask him to be careful -how he uses his honourable drill, for I am terrified to death at that -invention of the Evil One." Soon the Satanic drill got well into its -stride, and began boring into every nerve of my head. I jumped out -of the chair. "Tell the dentist, Mr. Nakimura, that he is honourably -deigning to hurt me like the very devil with his honourable but -wholly damnable drill." "Dentist says if you honourably deign to -reseat yourself in chair, he soon conquer difficulties in your -honourable tooth." "Certainly. But dentist must not give me -honourable hell any more," and so on, and so on. I am bound to admit -that the little Jap's workmanship was so good that it has remained -intact up to the present days. I wonder if Japs, when annoyed, can -ever relieve themselves by the use of really strong language, or -whether the crust of conventional politeness is too thick to {207} -admit of it. In that case they must feel like a lobster afflicted -with acute eczema, unable to obtain relief by scratching himself, -owing to the impervious shell in which Nature has encased him. - -I dined with the British Consul at Asuncion, after my interview with -Dr. ----. The Consul lived three miles out of town, and the coffee -we drank after dinner, the sugar we put into the coffee, and the -cigars we smoked with it, had all been grown in his garden, within -sight of the windows. I had ridden out to the Quinta in company with -a young Australian, who will reappear later on in these pages in his -proper place; one Dick Howard. It was the first but by no means the -last time in my life that I ever got on a horse in evening clothes. -Dick Howard, having no evening clothes with him, had arrayed himself -in one of his favourite cricket blazers, a pleasantly vivid garment. -On our way out, my horse shied violently at a snake in the road. The -girths slipped on the grass-fed animal, and my saddle rolled gently -round and deposited me, tail-coat, white tie and all, in some four -feet of dust. The snake, however, probably panic-stricken at the -sight of Howard's blazer, had tactfully withdrawn; otherwise, as it -happened to be a deadly Jararaca, it is highly unlikely that I should -have been writing these lines at the present moment. The -ineradicable love of Dick Howard, the cheery, laughing young -Antipodean, for brilliant-hued blazers of various athletic clubs will -be enlarged on later. In Indian hill stations all men habitually -ride out to dinner-parties, {208} whilst ladies are carried in -litters. During the rains, men put a suit of pyjamas over their -evening clothes to protect them, before drawing on rubber boots and -rubber coats and venturing into the pelting downpour. The Syce trots -behind, carrying his master's pumps in a rubber sponge-bag. - -All this, however, is far afield from Russia. Alexander III -preferred Gatchina to any of his other palaces as a residence, as it -was so much smaller, Gatchina being a cosy little house of 600 rooms -only. I never saw it except once in mid-winter, when the Emperor -summoned the Ambassador there, and I was also invited. As the -far-famed beauties of Gatchina Park were covered with four feet of -snow, it would be difficult to pronounce an opinion upon them. The -rivers and lakes, the haunts of the celebrated Gatchina trout, were, -of course, also deep-buried. - -Alexander III was a man of very simple tastes, and nothing could be -plainer than the large study in which he received us. Alexander III, -a Colossus of a man, had great dignity, combined with a geniality of -manner very different from the glacial hauteur of his father, -Alexander II. The Emperor was in fact rather partial to a humorous -anecdote, and some I recalled seemed to divert his Majesty. Outside -his study-door stood two gigantic negroes on guard, in Eastern -dresses of green and scarlet. The Empress Marie, though she did not -share her sister Queen Alexandra's wonderful beauty, had all of her -subtle and indescribable charm of manner, {209} and she was very -gracious to a stupid young Secretary-of-Embassy. - -The bedroom given to me at Gatchina could hardly be described by the -standardised epithets for Russian interiors "bare, gaunt, and -whitewashed," as it had light blue silk walls embroidered with large -silver wreaths. The mirrors were silvered, and the bed stood in a -species of chancel, up four steps, and surrounded by a balustrade of -silvered carved wood. Both the Ambassador and I agreed that the -Imperial cellar fully maintained its high reputation. We were given -in particular some very wonderful old Tokay, a present from the -Emperor of Austria, a wine that was not on the market. - -We were taken all over the palace, which contained, amongst other -things, a large riding-school and a full-sized theatre. The really -enchanting room was a large hall on the ground floor where many -generations of little Grand-Dukes and Grand-Duchesses had played. -As, owing to the severe winter climate, it is difficult for Russian -children to amuse themselves much out-of-doors, these large -play-rooms are almost a necessity in that frozen land. The Gatchina -play-room was a vast low hall, a place of many whitewashed arches. -In this delightful room was every possible thing that could attract a -child. At one end were two wooden Montagnes Busses, the descent of -which could be negotiated in little wheeled trollies. In another -corner was a fully-equipped gymnasium. There were "giants' strides," -swings, swing-boats and a {210} merry-go-round. There was a toy -railway with switches and signal-posts complete, the locomotives of -which were worked by treadles, like a tricycle. There were dolls' -houses galore, and larger houses into which the children could get, -with real cooking-stoves in the little kitchens, and little parlours -in which to eat the results of their primitive culinary experiments. -There were mechanical orchestras, self-playing pianos and -barrel-organs, and masses and masses of toys. On seeing this -delectable spot, I regretted for the first time that I had not been -born a Russian Grand-Duke, between the ages though of five and twelve -only. - -I believe that there is a similar room at Tsarskoe although I never -saw it. - - - - -{211} - -CHAPTER VII - -Lisbon--The two Kings of Portugal, and of Barataria--King Fernando -and the Countess--A Lisbon bull-fight--The "hat-trick"--Courtship -window-parade--The spurred youth of Lisbon--Portuguese -politeness--The De Reszke family--The Opera--Terrible personal -experiences in a circus--The bounding Bishop--Ecclesiastical -possibilities--Portuguese coinage--Beauty of Lisbon--Visits of the -British Fleet--Misguided midshipmen--The Legation Whaleboat--"Good -wine needs no bush"--A delightful orange-farm--Cintra--Contrast -between the Past and Present of Portugal. - - -A professional diplomat becomes used to rapid changes in his -environment. He has also to learn to readjust his monetary -standards, for after calculating everything in roubles for, let us -say, four years, he may find himself in a country where the peseta or -the dollar are the units. At every fresh post he has to start again -from the beginning, as he endeavours to learn the customs and above -all the mentality of the new country. He has to form a brand-new -acquaintance, to get to know the points of view of those amongst whom -he is living, and in general to shape himself to totally new -surroundings. A diplomat in this way insensibly acquires -adaptability. - -It would be difficult to imagine a greater contrast to Petrograd than -Lisbon, which was my next post. {212} After the rather hectic gaiety -of Petrograd, with its persistent flavour of an exotic and artificial -civilisation, the placid, uneventful flow of life at Lisbon was -restful, possibly even dull. - -Curiously enough, in those days there were two Kings of Portugal at -the same time. This state of things (which always reminded me -irresistibly of the two Kings of Barataria in Gilbert and Sullivan's -"Gondoliers") had come about quite naturally. Queen Maria II (Maria -da Gloria) had married in 1836 Prince Ferdinand of Saxe-Coburg, who -was raised next year to the title of King Consort. Maria II died in -1853 and was succeeded by Pedro V. During his son's minority King -Ferdinand acted as Regent, and Pedro, dying unmarried eight years -after, was succeeded in turn by his brother Luiz, also a son of King -Ferdinand. - -When the Corps Diplomatique were received at the Ajuda Palace on New -Year's Day, the scene always struck me as being intensely comical. -The two Kings (universally known as Dom Fernando and Dom Luiz) -entered simultaneously by different doors. When they met Dom Luiz -made a low bow to Dom Fernando, and then kissed his father's hand. -Dom Fernando responded with an equally low bow, and kissed his son's -hand. The two Kings then ascended the throne together. Had "The -Gondoliers" been already composed then, I should have expected the -two Monarchs to break into the duet from the second act, "Rising -early in the Morning," in which the two Kings of Barataria {213} -explain their multitudinous duties. As King Luiz had a fine tenor -voice, His Majesty could also in that case have brightened up the -proceedings by singing us "Take a pair of sparkling eyes." - -Dom Fernando was a perfectly delightful old gentleman, very highly -cultured, full of humour, and with a charming natural courtesy of -manner. The drolly-named Necessidades Palace which he inhabited was -an unpretentious house full of beautiful old Portuguese furniture. -Most of the rooms were wainscoted with the finest "azulejos" I ever -saw; blue and white tiles which the Portuguese adopted originally -from the Moors, but learnt later to make for themselves under the -tuition of Dutch craftsmen from Delft. These "azulejos" form the -most decorative background to a room that can be imagined. A bold -pictorial design, a complete and elaborate picture in blue on white, -runs along their whole length. It is thus very difficult to remove -and re-erect "azulejos," for one broken tile will spoil the whole -design. The Portuguese use these everywhere, both for the exteriors -and interiors of their houses, and also as garden ornaments, and they -are wonderfully effective. - -Dom Fernando had married morganatically, as his second wife, a dancer -of American origin. This lady had a remarkably strident voice, and -was much to the fore on the fortnightly afternoons when Dom Fernando -received the men of the Corps Diplomatique. For some reason or -other, the ladies of the Diplomatic Body always found themselves -{214} unable to attend these gatherings. The courteous, genial old -King would move about, smilingly dispensing his truly admirable -cigars, and brimful of anecdotes and jokelets. The nasal raucaus -tones of the ex-dancer, always known as "the Countess," would summon -him in English. "Say, King! you just hurry up with those cigars. -They are badly wanted here." - -I imagine that in the days of her successes on the stage the lady's -outline must have been less voluminous than it was when I made her -acquaintance. The only other occasion when I heard a monarch -addressed as "King" _tout court_ was when a small relation of my own, -aged five, at a children's garden-party at Buckingham Palace insisted -on answering King Edward VII's questions with a "Yes, O King," or -"No, O King"; a form of address which had a pleasant Biblical flavour -about it. - -The Portuguese are a very humane race, and are extraordinarily kind -to animals. They are also devoted to bull-fights. These two -tendencies seem irreconcilable, till the fact is grasped that a -Portuguese bull-fight is absolutely bloodless. Neither bulls nor -horses are killed; the whole spectacle resolves itself into an -exhibition of horsemanship and skill. - -The bulls' horns are padded and covered with leather thongs. The -_picador_ rides a really good and highly-trained horse. Should he -allow the bull even to touch his horse with his padded horns, the -unfortunate _picador_ will get mercilessly hissed. {215} These -_picadores_ do not wear the showy Spanish dresses, but Louis Quinze -costumes of purple velvet with large white wigs. The _espada_ is -armed with a wooden sword only, which he plants innocuously on the -neck of the bull, and woe betide him should those tens of thousands -of eager eyes watching him detect a deviation of even one inch from -the death-dealing spot. He will be hissed out of the ring. On the -other hand, should he succeed in touching the fatal place with his -harmless weapon, his skill would be rewarded with thunders of -applause, and all the occupants of the upper galleries would shower -small change and cigarettes into the ring, and would also hurl their -hats into the arena, which always struck me as a peculiarly comical -way of expressing their appreciation. - -The _espada_ would gaze at the hundreds of shabby battered bowler -hats reposing on the sand of the arena with the same expression of -simulated rapture that a _prima donna_ assumes as floral tributes are -handed to her across the footlights. The _espada_, his hand on his -heart, would bow again and again, as though saying, "Are these lovely -hats really for me?" But after a second glance at the dilapidated -head-gear, covering the entire floor-space of the arena with little -sub-fuse hummocks, he would apparently change his mind. "It is -really amazingly good of you, and I do appreciate it, but I think on -the whole that I will not deprive you of them," and then an -exhibition of real skill occurred. The _espada_, taking up a hat, -would {216} glance at the galleries. Up went a hand, and the hat -hurtled aloft to its owner with unfailing accuracy; and this -performance was repeated perhaps a hundred times. I always -considered the _espada's_ hat-returning act far more extraordinary -than his futile manipulation of the inoffensive wooden sword. During -the aerial flights of the hats, two small acolytes of the _espada_, -his miniature facsimiles in dress, picked up the small change and -cigarettes, and, I trust, duly handed them over intact to their -master. The bull meanwhile, after his imaginary slaughter, had -trotted home contentedly to his underground quarters, surrounded by -some twenty gaily-caparisoned tame bullocks. To my mind Spanish -bull-fighting is revolting and horrible to the last degree. I have -seen it once, and nothing will induce me to assist a second time at -so disgusting a spectacle; but the most squeamish person can view a -Portuguese bull-fight with impunity. Even though the bull has his -horns bandaged, considerable skill and great acrobatic agility come -into play. Few of us would care to stand in the path of a charging -polled Angus bull, hornless though he be. The _bandarilheros_ who -plant paper-decorated darts in the neck of the charging bull are as -nimble as trained acrobats, and vault lightly out of the ring when -hard pressed. Conspicuous at a Lisbon bull-fight are a number of -sturdy peasants, tricked out in showy clothes of scarlet and orange. -These are "the men of strength." Should a bull prove cowardly in the -ring, and decline to fight, the public {217} clamour for him to be -caught and expelled ignomiously from the ring by "the men of -strength." Eight of the stalwart peasants will then hurl themselves -on to the bull and literally hustle him out of the arena; no mean -feat. Take it all round, a Portuguese bull-fight was picturesque and -full of life and colour, though the neighbouring Spaniards affected -an immense contempt for them on account of their bloodlessness and -make-belief. - -A curious Portuguese custom is one which ordains that a youth before -proposing formally for a maiden's hand must do "window parade" for -two months (in Portuguese "fazer a janella"). Nature has not -allotted good looks to the majority of the Portuguese race, and she -has been especially niggardly in this respect to the feminine element -of the population. The taste for olives and for caviar is usually -supposed to be an acquired one, and so may be the taste for -Lusitanian loveliness. Somewhat to the surprise of the foreigner, -Portuguese maidens seemed to inspire the same sentiments in the -breasts of the youthful male as do their more-favoured sisters in -other lands, but in _bourgeois_ circles the "window-parade" was an -indispensable preliminary to courtship. The youth had to pass -backwards and forwards along the street where the dwelling of his -_innamorata_ was situated, casting up glances of passionate appeal to -a window, where, as he knew, the form of his enchantress would -presently appear. The maiden, when she judged that she might at -length reveal herself {218} without unduly encouraging her suitor, -moved to the open window and stood fanning herself, laboriously -unconscious of her ardent swain in the street below. The youth would -then express his consuming passion in pantomime, making frantic -gestures in testimony of his mad adoration. The senhorita in return -might favour him with a coy glance, and in token of dismissal would -perhaps drop him a rose, which the young man would press to his lips -and then place over his heart, and so the performance came to an end, -to be renewed again the next evening. The lovesick swain would -almost certainly be wearing spurs. At first I could not make out why -the young men of Lisbon, who had probably never been on a horse in -their whole lives, should habitually walk about the town with spurs -on their heels. It was, I think, a survival of the old Peninsular -tradition, and was intended to prove to the world that they were -"cavalleiros." In Spain an immense distinction was formerly made -between the "caballero" and the "peon"; the mounted man, or -gentleman, and the man on foot, or day-labourer. The little -box-spurs were the only means these Lisbon youths had of proving -their quality to the world. They had no horses, but they _had_ -spurs, which was obviously the next best thing. - -Fortunes in Portugal being small, and strict economy having to be -observed amongst all classes, I have heard that these damsels of the -window-sill only dressed down to the waist. They would assume a -_corsage_ of scarlet or crimson plush, and, {219} their nether -garments being invisible from below, would study both economy and -comfort by wearing a flannel petticoat below it. It is unnecessary -for me to add that I never verified this detail from personal -observation. - -Some of the old Portuguese families occupied very fine, if sparsely -furnished, houses, with _enfilades_ of great, lofty bare rooms. -After calling at one of these houses, the master of it would in -Continental fashion "reconduct" his visitor towards the front door. -At every single doorway the Portuguese code of politeness dictated -that the visitor should protest energetically against his host -accompanying him one step further. With equal insistence the host -expressed his resolve to escort his visitor a little longer. The -master of the house had previously settled in his own mind exactly -how far he was going towards the entrance, the distance depending on -the rank of the visitor, but the accepted code of manners insisted -upon these protests and counter-protests at every single doorway. - -In Germany "door-politeness" plays a great part. In one of -Kotzebue's comedies two provincial notabilities of equal rank are -engaged in a duel of "door-politeness." "But I must really insist on -your Excellency passing first." "I could not dream of it, your -Excellency. I will follow you." "Your Excellency knows that I could -never allow that," and so on. The curtain falls on these two ladies -each declining to precede the other, and when it rises on the second -act the doorway is still there, {220} and the two ladies are still -disputing. Quite an effective stage-situation, and one which a -modern dramatist might utilise. - -In paying visits in Lisbon one was often pressed to remain to dinner, -but the invitation was a mere form of politeness, and was not -intended to be accepted. You invariably replied that you deeply -regretted that you were already engaged. The more you were urged to -throw over your engagement, the deeper became your regret that this -particular engagement must be fulfilled. The engagement probably -consisted in dining alone at the club, but under no circumstances -must the invitation be accepted. In view of the straitened -circumstances of most Portuguese families, the evening meal would -probably consist of one single dish of _bacalhao_ or salt cod, and -you would have put your hosts to the greatest inconvenience. - -With the exception of the Opera, the Lisbon theatres were most -indifferent. When I first arrived there the Lisbon Opera had been -fortunate enough to secure the services of a very gifted Polish -family, a sister and two brothers, the latter of whom were destined -later to become the idols of the London public. They were Mlle. de -Reszke and Jean and Edouard de Reszke, all three of them then -comparatively unknown. Mlle. de Reszke had the most glorious voice. -To hear her singing with her brother Jean in "Faust" was a perfect -revelation. Mlle. de Reszke appeared to the best advantage when the -stalwart Jean sang with her, for she was {221} immensely tall, and -towered over the average portly, stumpy, little operatic tenor. The -French say, cruelly enough, "bête comme un ténor." This may or may -not be true, but the fact remains that the usual stage tenor is -short, bull-necked, and conspicuously inclined to adipose tissue. -When her brother Jean was out of the cast, it required an immense -effort of the imagination to picture this splendid creature as being -really desperately enamoured of the little paunchy, swarthy -individual who, reaching to her shoulder only, was hurling his high -notes at the public over the footlights. - -At afternoon parties these three consummate artists occasionally sang -unaccompanied trios. I have never heard anything so perfectly done. -I am convinced that had Mlle. de Reszke lived, she would have -established as great a European reputation as did her two brothers. -The Lisbon musical public were terribly critical. They had one most -disconcerting habit. Instead of hissing, should an artist have been -unfortunate enough to incur their displeasure, the audience stood up -and began banging the movable wooden seats of the stalls and dress -circle up and down. This produced a deafening din, effectually -drowning the orchestra and singers. The effect on the unhappy artist -against whom all this pandemonium was directed may be imagined. On -gala nights the Lisbon Opera was decorated in a very simple but -effective manner. Most Portuguese families own a number of -"colchas," or embroidered bed-quilts. These are of satin, silk, -{222} or linen, beautifully worked in colours. On a gala night, -hundreds of these "colchas" were hung over the fronts of the boxes -and galleries, with a wonderfully decorative effect. In the same -way, on Church festivals, when religious processions made their way -through the streets, many-lined "colchas" were thrown over the -balconies of the houses, giving an extraordinarily festive appearance -to the town. - -As at Berlin and Petrograd, there was a really good circus at Lisbon. -I, for one, am sorry that this particular form of entertainment is -now obsolete in England, for it has always appealed to me, in spite -of some painful memories connected with a circus which, if I may be -permitted a long digression, I will relate. - -Nearly thirty years ago I left London on a visit to one of the -historic châteaux of France, in company with a friend who is now a -well-known member of Parliament, and also churchwarden of a famous -West-end church. We travelled over by night, and reached our -destination about eleven next morning. We noticed a huge circular -tent in the park of the château, but paid no particular attention to -it. The first words with which our hostess, the bearer of a great -French name, greeted us were, "I feel sure that I can rely upon you, -_mes amis_. You have to help us out of a difficulty. My son and his -friends have been practising for four months for their amateur -circus. Our first performance is to-day at two o'clock. We have -sold eight hundred tickets for the benefit of the French Red Cross, -{223} and yesterday, only yesterday, our two clowns were telegraphed -for. They have both been ordered to the autumn manoeuvres, and you -two must take their places, or our performance is ruined. _Je sais -que vous n'allez pas me manquer_." In vain we both protested that we -had had no experience whatever as clowns, that branch of our -education having been culpably neglected. Our hostess insisted, and -would take no denial. "Go and wash; go and eat; and then put on the -dresses you will find in your rooms." I never felt so miserable in -my life as I did whilst making up my face the orthodox dead white, -with scarlet triangles on the cheeks, big mouth, and blackened nose. -The clown's kit was complete in every detail, with wig, conical hat, -patterned stockings and queer white felt shoes. As far as externals -went, I was orthodoxy itself, but the "business," and the "wheezes"! -The future church-warden had been taken in hand by some young -Frenchmen. As he was to play "Chocolat," the black clown, they -commenced by stripping him and blacking him from head to foot with -boot-blacking. They then polished him. - -I entered the ring with a sinking heart. I was to remain there two -hours, and endeavour to amuse a French audience for that period -without any preparation whatever. "Business," "gag," and "patter" -had all to be improvised, and the "patter," of course, had to be in -French. Luckily, I could then throw "cart-wheels" and turn -somersaults to an indefinite extent. So I made my entrance in {224} -that fashion. Fortunately I got on good terms with my audience -almost at once, and with confidence came inspiration; and with -inspiration additional confidence, and a judicious recollection of -the stock-tricks of clowns in various Continental capitals. Far -greater liberties can be taken with a French audience than would be -possible in England, but if anyone thinks it an easy task to go into -a circus ring and to clown for two hours on end in a foreign -language, without one minute's preparation, let him try it. The -ring-master always pretends to flick the clown; it is part of the -traditional "business"; but this amateur ring-master (most -beautifully got up) handled his long whip so unskilfully that he not -only really flicked my legs, but cut pieces out of them. When I -jumped and yelled with genuine pain, the audience roared with -laughter, so of course the ring-master plied his whip again. At the -end of the performance my legs were absolutely raw. The clown came -off badly too in some of the "roughs-and-tumbles," for the clown is -always fair game. The French amateurs gave a really astonishingly -good performance. They had borrowed trained horses from a real -circus, and the same young Hungarian to whom I have alluded at the -beginning of these reminiscences as having created a mild sensation -by appearing at Buckingham Palace in a tiger-skin tunic trimmed with -large turquoises, rode round the ring on a pad in sky-blue tights, -bounding through paper hoops and over garlands of artificial flowers -as easily and {225} gracefully as though he had done nothing else all -his life. Later on in the afternoon this versatile Hungarian -reappeared in flowing Oriental robes and a false beard as "Ali Ben -Hassan, the Bedouin Chief." Riding round the ring at full gallop, -and firing from the saddle with a shot-gun, he broke glass balls with -all the dexterity of a trained professional. That young Hungarian is -now a bishop of the Roman Catholic Church. Before 1914 I had -occasion to meet him frequently. Whenever I thought that on the -strength of his purple robes he was assuming undue airs of -ecclesiastical superiority (to use the word "swanking" would be an -unpardonable vulgarism, especially in the case of a bishop), I -invariably reminded his lordship of the afternoon, many years ago, -when, arrayed in sky-blue silk tights, he had dashed through paper -hoops in a French amateur circus. My remarks were usually met with -the deprecatory smile and little gesture of protest of the hand so -characteristic of the Roman ecclesiastic, as the bishop murmured, -"_Cher ami, tout cela est oublié depuis longtemps,_" I assured the -prelate that for my own part I should never forget it, if only for -the unexpected skill he had displayed; though I recognise that -bishops may dislike being reminded of their past, especially when -they have performed in circuses in their youth. - -In addition to the Hungarian's "act," there was another beautiful -exhibition of horsemanship. A boy of sixteen, a member of an -historic French family, by dint of long, patient, and painful {226} -practice, was able to give an admirable performance of the familiar -circus "turn" known as "The Courier of St. Petersburg," in which the -rider, standing a-straddle on two barebacked ponies, drives four -other ponies in front of him; an extraordinary feat for an amateur to -have mastered. My friend the agile ecclesiastic is portrayed, -perhaps a little maliciously, in Abel Hermant's most amusing book -"Trains de Luxe," under the name of "Monseigneur Granita de Caffe -Nero." It may interest ladies to learn that this fastidious prelate -always had his purple robes made by Doucet, the famous Paris -dressmaking firm, to ensure that they should "sit" properly. On the -whole, our circus was really a very creditable effort for amateurs. - -The entertainment was, I believe, pronounced a tremendous success, -and at its conclusion the only person who was the worse for it was -the poor clown. He had not only lost his voice entirely, from -shouting for two hours on end, but he was black and blue from head to -foot. Added to which, his legs were raw and bleeding from the -ring-master's pitiless whip. I am thankful to say that in the course -of a long life that was my one and only appearance in the ring of a -circus. My fellow-clown, "Chocolat," the future member of Parliament -and churchwarden, had been so liberally coated with boot-blacking by -his French friends that it refused to come off, and for days -afterwards his face was artistically decorated with swarthy patches. - -Before 1914, I had frequently pointed out to my {227} friend the -bishop that should he wish to raise any funds in his Hungarian -diocese he could not do better than repeat his performance in the -French circus. As a concession to his exalted rank, he might wear -tights of episcopal purple. Should he have retained any of the -nimbleness of his youth, his flock could not fail to be enormously -gratified at witnessing their chief pastor bounding through paper -hoops and leaping over obstacles with incredible agility for his age. -The knowledge that they had so gifted and supple a prelate would -probably greatly increase his moral influence over them and could -scarcely fail to render him amazingly popular. Could his lordship -have convinced his flock that he could demolish the arguments of any -religious opponent with the same ease that he displayed in -penetrating the paper obstacles to his equestrian progress, he would -certainly be acclaimed as a theological controversialist of the first -rank. In the same way, I have endeavoured to persuade my friend the -member of Parliament that he might brighten up the proceedings in the -House of Commons were he to appear there occasionally in the clown's -dress he wore thirty years ago in France. Failing that, his -attendance at the Easter Vestry Meeting of his West-end church with a -blackened face might introduce that note of hilarity which is often -so markedly lacking at these gatherings. - -All this has led me far away from Lisbon in the "'eighties." Mark -Twain has described, in "A Tramp Abroad," the terror with which a -foreigner {228} is overwhelmed on being presented with his first -hotel bill on Portuguese territory. The total will certainly run -into thousands of reis, and the unhappy stranger sees bankruptcy -staring him in the face. - -As a matter of fact, one thousand reis equal at par exactly four and -twopence. It follows that a hundred reis are the equivalent of -fivepence, and that one rei is the twentieth of a penny. - -A French colleague of mine insisted that the Portuguese were actuated -by national pride in selecting so small a monetary unit. An -elementary calculation will show that the proud possessor of £222 -10_s._ can claim to be a millionaire in Portugal. According to my -French friend, Portugal was anxious to show the world that though a -small country, a larger proportion of her subjects were millionaires -than any other European country could boast of. In the same way the -Frenchman explained the curious Lisbon habit of writing a number over -every opening on the ground floor of a house, whether door or window. -As a result the numbers of the houses crept up rapidly to the most -imposing figures. It was not uncommon to find a house inscribed No. -2000 in a comparatively short street. Accordingly, Lisbon, though a -small capital, was able to gain a spurious reputation for immense -size. - -A peculiarity of Lisbon was the double set of names of the principal -streets and squares: the official name, and the popular one. I have -never known this custom prevail anywhere else. Thus the {229} -principal street was officially known as Rua Garrett, and that name -was duly written up. Everyone, though, spoke of it as the "Chiada." -In the same way the splendid square facing the Tagus which English -people call "Black Horse Square" had its official designation written -up as "Praça do Comercio." It was, however, invariably called -"Terreiro do Paço." The list could be extended indefinitely. Street -names in Lisbon did not err in the matter of shortness. "Rua do -Sacramento a Lapa de Baixio" strikes me as quite a sufficiently -lengthy name for a street of six houses. - -Lisbon is certainly a handsome town. It has been so frequently -wrecked by earthquakes that there is very little mediæval -architecture remaining, in spite of its great age. Two notable -exceptions are the Tower of Belem and the exquisitely beautiful -cloisters of the Hieronymite Convent, also at Belem. The tower -stands on a promontory jutting into the Tagus, and the convent was -built in the late fifteen-hundreds to commemorate the discovery of -the sea route to India by Vasco da Gama. These two buildings are -both in the "Manoeline" style, a variety of highly ornate late Gothic -peculiar to Portugal. It is the fashion to sneer at Manoeline -architecture, with its profuse decoration, as being a decadent style. -To my mind the cloisters of Belem (the Portuguese variant of -Bethlehem) rank as one of the architectural masterpieces of Europe. -Its arches are draped, as it were, with a lace-work of intricate and -minute stone carving, as delicate {230} almost as jewellers' work. -The warm brown colour of the stone adds to the effect, and anyone but -an architectural pedant must admit the amazing beauty of the place. -The finest example of Manoeline in Portugal is the great Abbey of -Batalha, in my day far away from any railway, and very difficult of -access. - -At the time of the great earthquake of 1755 which laid Lisbon in -ruins, Portugal was fortunate enough to have a man of real genius at -the head of affairs, the Marquis de Pombal. Pombal not only -re-established the national finances on a sound basis, but rebuilt -the capital from his own designs. The stately "Black Horse Square" -fronting the Tagus and the streets surrounding it were all designed -by Pombal. I suppose that there is no hillier capital in the world -than Lisbon. Many of the streets are too steep for the tramcars to -climb. The Portuguese fashion of coating the exteriors of the houses -with bright-coloured tiles of blue and white, or orange and white, -gives a cheerful air to the town,--the French word "riant" would be -more appropriate--and the numerous public gardens, where the -palm-trees apparently grow as contentedly as in their native tropics, -add to this effect of sunlit brightness. As in Brazil and other -Portuguese-speaking countries, the houses are all very tall, and -sash-windows are universal, as in England, contrary to the custom of -other Continental countries. - -House rent could not be called excessive in Portugal. In my day -quite a large house, totally lacking {231} in every description of -modern convenience, but with a fine staircase and plenty of lofty -rooms, could be hired for £30 a year, a price which may make the -Londoner think seriously of transferring himself to the banks of the -Tagus. - -In the "'eighties" Lisbon was the winter headquarters of our Channel -Squadron. I once saw the late Admiral Dowdeswell bring his entire -fleet up the Tagus under sail; a most wonderful sight! The two -five-masted flagships, the _Minotaur_ and the _Agincourt_, had very -graceful lines, and with every stitch of their canvas set, they were -things of exquisite beauty. The _Northumberland_ had also been -designed as a sister ship, but for some reason had had two of her -masts removed. The old _Minotaur,_ now alas! a shapeless hulk known -as _Ganges II_, is still, I believe, doing useful work at Harwich. - -As may be imagined, the arrival of the British Fleet infused a -certain element of liveliness into the sleepy city. Gambling-rooms -were opened all over Lisbon, and as the bluejackets had a habit of -wrecking any place where they suspected the proprietor of cheating -them, the Legation had its work cut out for it in endeavouring to -placate the local authorities and smooth down their wounded -susceptibilities. One gambling-house, known as "Portuguese Joe's," -was frequented mainly by midshipmen. They were strictly forbidden to -go there, but the place was crammed every night with them, in spite -of official prohibition. The British midshipman being a creature of -impulse, the {232} moment these youths (every one of whom thought it -incumbent on his dignity to have a huge cigar in his mouth, even -though he might still be of very tender years) suspected any foul -play, they would proceed very systematically and methodically to -smash the whole place up to matchwood. There was consequently a good -deal of trouble, and the Legation quietly put strong pressure on the -Portuguese Government to close these gambling-houses down -permanently. This was accordingly done, much to the wrath of the -midshipmen, who were, I believe, supplied with free drinks and cigars -by the proprietors of these places. It is just possible that the -Admiral's wishes may have been consulted before this drastic action -was taken. Midshipmen in those days went to sea at fourteen and -fifteen years of age, and consequently needed some shepherding. - -As our Minister had constantly to pay official visits to the Fleet, -the British Government kept a whale-boat at Lisbon for the use of the -Legation. The coxswain, an ex-naval petty officer who spoke -Portuguese, acted as Chancery servant when not afloat. When the boat -was wanted, the coxswain went down to the quay with two bagfuls of -bluejackets' uniforms, and engaged a dozen chance Tagus boatmen. The -Lisbon boatman, though skilful, is extraordinarily unclean in his -person and his attire. I wish the people who lavished praises on the -smart appearance of the Legation whaleboat and of its scratch crew -could have seen, as I {233} often did, the revoltingly filthy -garments of these longshoremen before they drew the snowy naval white -duck trousers and jumpers over them. Their persons were even -dirtier, and--for reasons into which I need not enter--it was -advisable to smoke a strong cigar whilst they were pulling. The -tides in the Tagus run very strong; at spring-tides they will run -seven or eight knots, so considerable skill is required in handling a -boat. To do our odoriferous whited sepulchres of boatmen justice, -they could pull, and the real workmanlike man-of-war fashion in which -our coxswain always brought the boat alongside a ship, in spite of -wind and tremendous tide, did credit to himself, and shed a mild -reflected glory on the Legation. - -The country round Lisbon is very arid. It produces, however, most -excellent wines, both red and white, and in my time really good wine -could be bought for fourpence a bottle. At the time of the vintage, -all the country taverns and wine shops displayed a bush tied to a -pole at their doors, as a sign that they had new wine, "green wine," -as the Portuguese call it, for sale. Let the stranger beware of that -new wine! Though pleasant to the palate and apparently innocuous, it -is in reality hideously intoxicating, as a reference to the 13th -verse of the second chapter of the Acts will show. I think that the -custom of tying a bush to the door of a tavern where new wine is on -sale must be the origin of the expression "good wine needs no bush." - -{234} - -The capabilities of this apparently intractable and arid soil when -scientifically irrigated were convincingly shown on a farm some -sixteen miles from Lisbon, belonging to a Colonel Campbell, an -Englishman. Colonel Campbell, who had permanently settled in -Portugal, had bought from the Government a derelict monastery and the -lands attached to it at Torres Vedras, where Wellington entrenched -himself in his famous lines in 1809-10. A good stream of water ran -through the property, and Colonel Campbell diverted it, and literally -caused the desert to blossom like the rose. Here were acres and -acres of orange groves, and it was one of the few places in Europe -where bananas would ripen. Colonel Campbell supplied the whole of -Lisbon with butter, and the only mutton worth eating came also from -his farm. It was a place flowing, if not with milk and honey, at all -events with oil and wine. Here were huge tanks brimful of -amber-coloured olive oil; whilst in vast dim cellars hundreds of -barrels of red and white wine were slowly maturing in the mysterious -shadows. Outside the sunlight fell on crates of ripe oranges and -bananas, ready packed for the Lisbon market, and in the gardens -tropical and sub-tropical flowering trees had not only thoroughly -acclimatised themselves, but had expanded to prima-donna-like -dimensions. The great rambling tiled monastery made a delightful -dwelling-house, and to me it will be always a place of pleasant -memories--a place of sunshine and golden orange groves; of {235} -rustling palms and cool blue and white tiles; of splashing fountains -and old stonework smothered in a tangle of wine-coloured -Bougainvillea. - -The environs of all Portuguese towns are made dreary by the miles and -miles of high walls which line the roads. These people must surely -have some dark secrets in their lives to require these huge barriers -between themselves and the rest of the world. Behind the wall were -pleasant old _quintas_, or villas, faced with my favourite "azulejos" -of blue and white, and surrounded with attractive, ill-kept gardens, -where roses and oleanders ran riot amidst groves of orange and lemon -trees. - -Cintra would be a beautiful spot anywhere, but in this sun-scorched -land it comes as a surprising revelation; a green oasis in a desolate -expanse of aridity. - -Here are great shady oak woods and tinkling fern-fringed brooks, -pleasant leafy valleys, and a grateful sense of moist coolness. On -the very summit of the rocky hill of Pena, King Fernando had built a -fantastic dream-castle, all domes and pinnacles. It was exactly like -the "enchanted castle" of one of Gustave Doré's illustrations, and -had, I believe, been partly designed by Doré himself. Some of the -details may have been a little too flamboyant for sober British -tastes, but, perched on its lofty rock, this castle was surprisingly -effective from below with its gilded turrets and Moorish tiles. As -the castle occupied every inch of the summit of the Pena hill, the -only approach to it {236} was by a broad winding roadway tunnelled -through the solid rock. Openings had been cut in the sides of the -tunnel giving wonderful views over the valleys far down below. This -approach was for all the world like the rocky ways up which Parsifal -is led to the temple of the Grail in the first act of Wagner's great -mystery drama. The finest feature about Pena, to my mind, was the -wood of camellias on its southern face. These camellias had grown to -a great size, and when in flower in March they were a most beautiful -sight. - -There was a great deal of work at the Lisbon Legation, principally of -a commercial character. There were never-ending disputes between -British shippers and the Custom House authorities, and the extremely -dilatory methods of the Portuguese Government were most trying to the -temper at times. - -I shall always cherish mildly agreeable recollections of Lisbon. It -was a placid, sunlit, soporific existence, very different from the -turmoil of Petrograd life. The people were friendly, and as -hospitable as their very limited financial resources enabled them to -be. They could mostly speak French in a fashion, still their limited -vocabulary was quite sufficient for expressing their more limited -ideas. - -I never could help contrasting the splendid past of this little -nation with its somewhat inadequate present, for it must be -remembered that Portugal in the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries was -the leading maritime Power of Europe. Portugal had {237} planted her -colonies and her language (surely the most hideous of all spoken -idioms!) in Asia, Africa, and South America long before Great Britain -or France had even dreamed of a Colonial Empire. - -They were a race of hardy and fearless seamen. Prince Henry the -Navigator, the son of John of Portugal and of John of Gaunt's -daughter, discovered Madeira, the Azores, and the Cape Verde islands -in the early fourteen-hundreds. - -In the same century Diaz doubled the Cape of Good Hope, and Vasco da -Gama succeeded in reaching India by sea, whilst Albuquerque founded -Portuguese colonies in Brazil and at Goa in India. This race of -intrepid navigators and explorers held the command of the sea long -before the Dutch or British, and by the middle of the sixteenth -century little Portugal ranked as one of the most powerful monarchies -in Europe. - -Portugal, too, is England's oldest ally, for the Treaty of Windsor -establishing an alliance between the two countries was signed as far -back as 1386. - -This is not the place in which to enter into the causes which led to -the gradual decadence of this wonderful little nation, sapped her -energies and atrophied her enterprise. To the historian those causes -are sufficiently familiar. - -Let us only trust that Lusitania's star may some day rise again. - - - - -{238} - -CHAPTER VIII - -Brazil--Contrast between Portuguese and Spanish South -America--Moorish traditions--Amazing beauty of Rio de Janeiro--Yellow -fever--The Commercial Court Chamberlain--The Emperor Pedro--The -Botanic Gardens of Rio--The quaint diversions of Petropolis--The -liveried young entomologist--Buenos Ayres--The charm of the -"Camp"--Water-throwing--A British Minister in Carnival time--Some -Buenos Ayres peculiarities--Masked balls--Climatic -conditions--Theatres--Restaurants--Wonderful bird-life of the -"Camp"--Estancis Negrete--Duck-shooting--My one flamingo--An -exploring expedition in the Gran Chaco--Hardships--Alligators and -fish--Currency difficulties. - - -My first impression of Brazil was that it was a mere transplanted -Portugal, but a Portugal set amidst the most glorious vegetation and -some of the finest scenery on the face of the globe. It is also -unquestionably suffocatingly hot. - -There is a great outward difference in the appearances of the towns -of Portuguese and Spanish South America. In Brazil the Portuguese -built their houses and towns precisely as they had done at home. -There are the same winding irregular streets; the same tall houses -faced with the decorative "azulejos"; the same shutterless -sash-windows. A type of house less suited to the burning climate of -Brazil can hardly be imagined. There being no outside shutters, it -is impossible to keep the heat {239} out, and the small rooms become -so many ovens. The sinuosities of the irregular streets give a -curiously old-world look to a Brazilian town, so much so that it is -difficult for a European to realise that he is on the American -Continent, associated as the latter is in our minds with unending -straight lines. - -In all Spanish-American countries the towns are laid out on the -chess-board principle, with long dreary perspectives stretching -themselves endlessly. The Spanish-American type of house too is -mostly one-storied and flat-roofed, with two iron-barred windows only -looking on to the street. The Moorish conquerors left their impress -on Spain, and the Spanish pioneers carried across the Atlantic with -them the Moorish conception of a house. The "patio" or enclosed -court in the centre of the house is a heritage from the Moors, as is -the flat roof or "azotea," and the decorated rainwater cistern in the -centre of the "patio." - -The very name of this tank in Spanish, "aljibe," is of Arabic origin, -and it becomes obvious that this type of house was evolved by -Mohammedans who kept their womenkind in jealous and strict seclusion. -No indiscreet eyes from outside can penetrate into the "patio," and -after nightfall the women could be allowed on to the flat roof to -take the air. Those familiar with the East know the great part the -roof of a house plays in the life of an Oriental. It is their -parlour, particularly after dark. As the inhabitants of South -America are not Mohammedans, I cannot conceive why they {240} -obstinately adhere to this inconvenient type of dwelling. The -"patio" renders the house very dark and airless, becomes a well of -damp in winter, and an oven in summer. To my mind unquestionably the -best form of house for a hot climate is the Anglo-Indian bungalow, -with its broad verandahs, thatched roof, and lofty rooms. In a -bungalow some of the heat can be shut out. - -On my first arrival in Brazil, the tropics and tropical vegetation -were an unopened book to me, and I was fairly intoxicated with their -beauty. - -There is a short English-owned railway running from Pernambuco to -some unknown spot in the interior. The manager of this railway came -out on the steamer with us, and he was good enough to take me for a -run on an engine into the heart of the virgin forest. I shall never -forget the impression this made on me. It was like a peep into a -wholly unimagined fairyland. - -Had the calls of the mail steamer been deliberately designed to give -the stranger a cumulative impression of the beauties of Brazil, they -could not have been more happily arranged. First of Pernambuco in -flat country, redeemed by its splendid vegetation; then Bahia with -its fine bay and gentle hills, and lastly Rio the incomparable. - -I have seen most of the surface of this globe, and I say -deliberately, without any fear of contradiction, that nowhere is -there anything approaching Rio in beauty. The glorious bay, two -hundred miles in circumference, dotted with islands, and {241} -surrounded by mountains of almost grotesquely fantastic outlines, the -whole clothed with exuberantly luxurious tropical vegetation, makes -the most lovely picture that can be conceived. - -The straggling town in my day had not yet blossomed into those -vagaries of ultra-ornate architecture which at present characterise -it. It was quaint and picturesque, and fitted its surroundings -admirably, the narrow crowded Ruado Ouvidor being the centre of the -fashionable life of the place. - -It will be remembered that when Gonçalves discovered the great bay on -January 1st, 1502, he imagined that it must be the estuary of some -mighty river, and christened it accordingly "the River of January," -"Rio de Janeiro." Oddly enough, only a few insignificant streams -empty themselves into this vast landlocked harbour. - -During my first fortnight in Rio, I thought the view over the bay -more beautiful with every fresh standpoint I saw it from; whether -from Botofogo, or from Nichteroy on the further shore, the view -seemed more entrancingly lovely every time; and yet over this, the -fairest spot on earth, the Angel of Death was perpetually hovering -with outstretched wings; for yellow fever was endemic at Rio then, -and yellow fever slays swiftly and surely. - -One must have lived in countries where the disease is prevalent to -realise the insane terror those two words "yellow fever" strike into -most people. On my third visit to Rio, I was destined to contract -the disease myself, but it dealt mercifully with me, {242} so -henceforth I am immune to yellow fever for the remainder of my life. -The ravages this fell disease wrought in the West Indies a hundred -years ago cannot be exaggerated. Those familiar with Michael Scott's -delightful "Tom Cringle's Log" will remember the gruesome details he -gives of a severe outbreak of the epidemic in Jamaica. In those days -"Yellow Jack" took toll of nearly fifty per cent. of the white civil -and military inhabitants of the British West Indies, as the countless -memorial tablets in the older West Indian churches silently testify. -Before my arrival in Rio, a new German Minister had, in spite of -serious warnings, insisted on taking a beautiful little villa on a -rocky promontory jutting into the bay. The house with its white -marble colonnades, its lovely gardens, and the wonderful view over -the mountains, was a thing of exquisite beauty, but it bore a very -evil reputation. Within eight months the German Minister, his -secretary, and his two white German servants were all dead of yellow -fever. The Brazilians declare that the fever is never contracted -during the daytime, but that sunset is the dangerous hour. They also -warn the foreigner to avoid fruit and acid drinks. - -Conditions have changed since then. The cause of the unhealthiness -of Rio was a very simple one. All the sewage of the city was -discharged into the landlocked, tideless bay, where it lay festering -under the scorching sun. An English company tunnelled a way through -the mountains direct to {243} the Atlantic, and all the sewage is now -discharged there, with the result that Rio is practically free from -the dreaded disease. - -The customs of a monarchial country are like a deep-rooted oak, they -do not stand transplanting. Where they are the result of the slow -growth of many centuries, they have adapted themselves, so to speak, -to the soil of the country of their origin, have evolved national -characteristics, and have fitted themselves into the national life. -When transplanted into a new country, they cannot fail to appear -anachronisms, and have always a certain element of the grotesque -about them. In my time Dom Pedro, the Emperor of Brazil, had -surrounded himself with a modified edition of the externals of a -European Court. A colleague of mine had recently been presented to -the Emperor at the Palace of São Christovão. As is customary on such -occasions, my colleague called on the two Court Chamberlains who were -on duty at São Christovão, and they duly returned the visit. One of -these Chamberlains, whom we will call Baron de Feijão e Farinha, -seemed reluctant to take his departure. He finally produced a bundle -of price lists from his pocket, and assured my colleague that he -would get far better value for his money at his (the Baron's) -ready-made clothing store than at any other similar establishment in -South America. From another pocket he then extracted a tape measure, -and in spite of my colleague's protest passed the tape over his -unwilling body to note the {244} stock size, in the event of an -order. The Baron de Feijão especially recommended one of his models, -"the Pall Mall," a complete suit of which could be obtained for the -nominal sum of 80,000 reis. This appalling sum looks less alarming -when reduced to British currency, 80,000 Brazilian reis being equal -to about £7 7_s_. I am not sure that he did not promise my colleague -a commission on any orders he could extract from other members of the -Legation. My colleague, a remarkably well-dressed man, did not -recover his equanimity for some days, after picturing his -neatly-garbed form arrayed in the appallingly flashy, ill-cut, -ready-made garments in which the youth of Rio de Janeiro were wont to -disport themselves. To European ideas, it was a little unusual to -find a Court Chamberlain engaged in the ready-made clothing line. - -On State occasions Dom Pedro assumed the most splendid Imperial -mantle any sovereign has ever possessed. It was composed entirely of -feathers, being made of the breasts of toucans, shaded from pale pink -to deep rose-colour, and was the most gorgeous bit of colour -imaginable. In the sweltering climate of Brazil, the heat of this -mantle must have been unendurable, and I always wondered how Dom -Pedro managed to bear it with a smiling face, but it certainly looked -magnificent. - -One of the industries of Rio was the manufacture of artificial -flowers from the feathers of humming-birds. These feather flowers -were wonderfully faithful reproductions of Nature, and were {245} -practically indestructible, besides being most artistically made. -They were very expensive. - -The famous avenue of royal palms in the Botanic Gardens would almost -repay anyone for the voyage from Europe. These are, I believe, the -tallest palms known, and the long avenue is strikingly impressive. -The _Oreodoxa regia_, one of the cabbage-palms, has a huge trunk, -perfectly symmetrical, and growing absolutely straight. This -perspective of giant boles recalls the columns of an immense Gothic -cathedral, whilst the fronds uniting in a green arch two hundred feet -overhead complete the illusion. The Botanic Gardens have some most -attractive ponds of pink and sky-blue water lilies, and the view of -the bay from the gardens is usually considered the finest in Rio. - -Owing to the unhealthiness of Rio, most of the Foreign Legations had -established themselves permanently at Petropolis, in the Organ -Mountains, Petropolis being well above the yellow fever zone. On my -third visit to Rio, such a terrible epidemic of yellow fever was -raging in the capital that the British Minister very kindly invited -me to go up straight to the Legation at Petropolis. The latter is -three hours' distance from Rio by mountain railway. People with -business in the city leave for Rio by the 7 a.m. train, and reach -Petropolis again at 7 p.m. The old Emperor, Dom Pedro, made a point -of attending the departure and arrival of the train every single day, -and a military band played regularly in the station, morning and -{246} evening. This struck me as a very unusual form of amusement. -The Emperor (who ten months later was quietly deposed) was a tall, -handsome old gentleman, of very distinguished appearance, and with -charming manners. He had also encyclopædic knowledge on most points. -That a sovereign should take pleasure in seeing the daily train -depart and arrive seemed to point to a certain lack of resources in -Petropolis, and to hint at moments of deadly dulness in the Imperial -villa there. Dom Pedro never appeared in public except in evening -dress, and it was a novelty to see the head of a State in full -evening dress and high hat at half-past six in the morning, listening -to an extremely indifferent brass band braying in the waiting-room of -a shabby railway station. - -Nature seems to have lavished all the most brilliant hues of her -palette on Brazil; the plumage of the birds, the flowers, and foliage -all glow with vivid colour. Even a Brazilian toad has bright -emerald-green spots all over him. The gorgeous butterflies of this -highly-coloured land are well known in Europe, especially those -lovely creatures of shimmering, iridescent blue. - -These butterflies were the cause of a considerable variation in the -hours of meals at the British Legation. - -The Minister had recently brought out to Brazil an English boy to act -as young footman. Henry was a most willing, obliging lad, but these -great Brazilian butterflies exercised a quite irresistible {247} -fascination over him, and small blame to him. He kept a -butterfly-net in the pantry, and the instant one of the brilliant, -glittering creatures appeared in the garden, Henry forgot everything. -Clang the front-door bell so loudly, he paid no heed to it; the cook -might be yelling for him to carry the luncheon into the dining-room, -Henry turned a deaf ear to her entreaties. Snatching up his -butterfly-net, he would dart through the window in hot pursuit. As -these great butterflies fly like Handley Pages, he had his work cut -out for him, and running is exhausting in a temperature of 90 -degrees. The usual hour for luncheon would be long past, and the -table would still exhibit a virgin expanse of white cloth. Somewhere -in the dim distance we could descry a slim young figure bounding -along hot-foot, with butterfly-net poised aloft, so we possessed our -souls in patience. Eventually Henry would reappear, moist but -triumphant, or dripping and despondent, according to his success or -failure with his shimmering quarry. After such violent exercise, -Henry had to have a plunge in the swimming-bath and a complete change -of clothing before he could resume his duties, all of which -occasioned some little further delay. And this would happen every -day, so our repasts may be legitimately described as "movable -feasts." It was no use speaking to Henry. He would promise to be -less forgetful, but the next butterfly that came flitting along drove -all good resolves out of this ardent young entomologist's head, and -off he would {248} go on flying feet in eager pursuit. I recommended -Henry when he returned to England to take up cross-country running -seriously. He seemed to have unmistakable aptitudes for it. - -The streets of Petropolis were planted with avenues of a flowering -tree imported from the Southern Pacific. When in bloom, this tree -was so covered with vivid pink blossoms that all its leaves were -hidden. These rows of bright pink trees gave the dull little town a -curious resemblance to a Japanese fan. - -There are some lovely little nooks and corners in the Organ -Mountains. One ravine in particular was most beautiful, with a -cascade dashing down the cliff, and the clear brook below it fringed -with eucharis lilies, and the tropical begonias which we laboriously -cultivate in stove-houses. Unfortunately, these beauty spots seemed -as attractive to snakes as they were to human beings. This entailed -keeping a watchful eye on the ground, for Brazilian snakes are very -venomous. - -No greater contrast can be imagined than that between the forests and -mountains of steamy Brazil and the endless, treeless, dead-flat -levels of the Argentine Republic, twelve hundred miles south of them. - -When I first knew Buenos Ayres in the early "'eighties," it still -retained an old-world air of distinction. The narrow streets were -lined with sombre, dignified old buildings of a markedly Spanish -type, and the modern riot of over-ornate ginger-bread {249} -architecture had not yet transformed the city into a glittering, -garish trans-Atlantic pseudo-Paris. In the same way newly-acquired -wealth had not begun to assert itself as blatantly as it has since -done. - -I confess that I was astonished to find two daily English newspapers -in Buenos Ayres, for I had not realised the size and importance of -the British commercial colony there. - -The "Camp" (from the Spanish _campo_, country) outside the city is -undeniably ugly and featureless, as it stretches its unending -khaki-coloured, treeless flatness to the horizon, but the sense of -immense space has something exhilarating about it, and the air is -perfectly glorious. In time these vast dun-coloured levels exercise -a sort of a fascination over one; to me the "Camp" will always be -associated with the raucous cries of the thousands of spurred -Argentine plovers, as they wheel over the horsemen with their -never-ending scream of "téro, téro." - -As in most countries of Spanish origin, the Carnival was kept at -Buenos Ayres in the old-fashioned style. In my time, on the last day -of the Carnival, Shrove Tuesday, the traditional water-throwing was -still allowed in the streets. Everyone going into the streets must -be prepared for being drenched with water from head to foot. My new -Chief, whom I will call Sir Edward (though he happened to have a -totally different name), had just arrived in Buenos Ayres. He was -quite {250} unused to South American ways. On Shrove Tuesday I came -down to breakfast in an old suit of flannels and a soft shirt and -collar, for from my experiences of the previous year I knew what was -to be expected in the streets. Sir Edward, a remarkably neat -dresser, appeared beautifully arrayed in a new suit, the smartest of -bow-ties, and a yellow jean waistcoat. I pointed out to my Chief -that it was water-throwing day, and suggested the advisability of his -wearing his oldest clothes. Sir Edward gave me to understand that he -imagined that few people would venture to throw water over her -Britannic Majesty's representative. Off we started on foot for the -Chancery of the Legation, which was situated a good mile from our -house. I knew what was coming. In the first five minutes we got a -bucket of water from the top of a house, plumb all over us, soaking -us both to the skin. Sir Edward was speechless with rage for a -minute or so, after which I will not attempt to reproduce his -language. Men were selling everywhere in the streets the large -squirts ("_pomitos_" in Spanish) which are used on these occasions. -I equipped myself with a perfect Woolwich Arsenal of _pomitos_, but -Sir Edward waved them all disdainfully away. Soon two girls darted -out of an open doorway, armed with _pomitos_, and caught us each -fairly in the face, after which they giggled and ran into their -house, leaving the front door open. Sir Edward fairly danced with -rage on the pavement, shouting out the most uncomplimentary opinions -as to the {251} Argentine Republic and its inhabitants. The front -door having been left open, I was entitled by all the laws of -Carnival time to pursue our two fair assailants into their house, and -I did so, in spite of Sir Edward's remonstrances. I chased the two -girls into the drawing-room, where we experienced some little -difficulty in clambering over sofas and tables, and I finally caught -them in the dining-room, where a venerable lady, probably their -grandmother, was reposing in an armchair. I gave the two girls a -thorough good soaking from my _pomitos_, and bestowed the mildest -sprinkling on their aged relative, who was immensely gratified by the -attention. "Oh! my dears," she cried in Spanish to the girls, "you -both consider me so old. You can see that I am not too old for this -young man to enjoy paying me a little compliment." - -_Autres pays, autres moeurs_! Just conceive the feelings of an -ordinary British middle-class householder, residing, let us say, at -Balham or Wandsworth, at learning that the sanctity of "The Laurels" -or "Ferndale" had been invaded by a total stranger; that his -daughters had been pursued round the house, and then soaked with -water in his own dining-room, and that even his aged mother's revered -white hairs had not preserved her from a like indignity. I cannot -imagine him accepting it as a humorous everyday incident. Our -progress to the Chancery was punctuated by several more interludes of -a similar character, and I was really pained on reaching the shelter -of our official {252} sanctuary to note how Sir Edward's spotless -garments had suffered. Personally, on a broiling February day -(corresponding with August in the northern hemisphere) I thought the -cool water most refreshing. Our Chancery looked on to the -fashionable Calle Florida, and a highly respectable German widow who -had lived for thirty years in South America acted as our housekeeper. -Sir Edward, considerably ruffled in his temper, sat down to continue -a very elaborate memorandum he was drawing up on the new Argentine -Customs tariff. The subject was a complicated one, there were masses -of figures to deal with, and the work required the closest -concentration. Presently our housekeeper, Fran Bauer, entered the -room demurely, and made her way to Sir Edward's table, - -"Wenn Excellenz so gut sein werden um zu entschuldigen," began Frau -Bauer with downcast eyes, and then suddenly with a discreet titter -she produced a large _pomito_ from under her apron and, secure in the -license of Carnival time, she thrust it into Sir Edward's collar, and -proceeded to squirt half a pint of cold water down his back, retiring -swiftly with elderly coyness amid an explosion of giggles. I think -that I have seldom seen a man in such a furious rage. I will not -attempt to reproduce Sir Edward's language, for the printer would -have exhausted his entire stock of "blanks" before I had got halfway -through. The Minister, when he had eased his mind sufficiently, -snapped out, "It is obvious that with all {253} this condemned (that -was not quite the word he used) foolery going on, it is impossible to -do any serious work to-day. Where ... where ... can one buy the -infernal squirts these condemned idiots vise?" "Anywhere in the -streets. Shall I buy you some, Sir Edward?" "Yes, get me a lot of -them, and the biggest you can find." So we parted. - -Returning home after a moist but enjoyable afternoon, I saw a great -crowd gathered at the junction of two streets, engaged in a furious -water-fight. The central figure was a most disreputable-looking -individual with a sodden wisp of linen where his collar should have -been; remnants of a tie trailed dankly down, his soaked garments were -shapeless, and his head was crowned with a sort of dripping poultice. -He was spouting water in all directions like the Crystal Palace -fountains in their heyday, with shouts of "Take that, you foolish -female; and that, you fat feminine Argentine!" With grief I -recognised in this damp reveller her Britannic Majesty's Minister -Plenipotentiary. - -Upon returning home, we found that our two English servants had been -having the time of their lives. They had stood all day on the roof -of the house, dashing pails of water over passers-by until they had -completely emptied the cistern. There was not one drop of water in -the house, and we had to borrow three pailfuls from a complaisant -neighbour. - -A few years later the police prohibited water-throwing altogether, so -this feature of a Buenos {254} Ayres Carnival is now a thing of the -past. - -As time went on I grew very fond of Sir Edward. His temper may have -flared up quickly, but it died down just as rapidly. He was a man -with an extraordinarily varied fund of information, and possessed a -very original and subtle sense of humour. He was also a great -stylist in writing English, and the drafts I wrote for despatches -were but seldom fortunate enough to meet with his approval. A split -infinitive brought him to the verge of tears. The Argentine -authorities were by no means easy to deal with, and Sir Edward -handled them in a masterly fashion. His quiet persistence usually -achieved its object. It was a real joy to see him dealing with -anyone rash enough to attempt to bully or browbeat him. His tongue -could sting like a lash on occasions, whilst he preserved an outward -air of imperturbable calm. Sir Edward both spoke and wrote the most -beautifully finished Spanish. - -A ball in a private house at Buenos Ayres had its peculiar features -in the "'eighties." In the first place, none of the furniture was -removed from the rooms, and so far from taking up carpets, carpets -were actually laid down, should the rooms be unprovided with them. -This rendered dancing somewhat difficult; in fact a ball resolved -itself into a leisurely arm-in-arm promenade to music through the -rooms, steering an erratic course between the articles of furniture, -"drawing the port," as a Scottish curler would put it. Occasionally -a {255} space behind a sofa could be found sufficiently large to -attempt a few mild gyrations, but that was all. The golden youth of -Buenos Ayres, in the place of the conventional white evening tie, all -affected the most deplorable bows of pale pink or pale green satin. -A wedding, too, differed from the European routine. The parents of -the bride gave a ball. At twelve o'clock dancing, or promenading -amidst the furniture, ceased. A portable altar was brought into the -room; a priest made his unexpected entry, and the young couple were -married at breakneck speed. At the conclusion of the ceremony, all -the young men darted at the bride and tore her marriage-veil to -shreds. Priest, altar, and the newly-married couple then -disappeared; the band struck up again, and dancing, or rather a -leisurely progress round the sofas and ottomans, recommenced. - -A form of entertainment that appeals immensely to people of Spanish -blood is a masked ball. In Buenos Ayres the ladies only were masked, -which gave them a distinct advantage over the men. To enjoy a -masquerade a good knowledge of Spanish is necessary. All masked -women are addressed indiscriminately as "mascarita" and can be -"tutoyée'd." Convention permits, too, anything within reasonable -limits to be said by a man to "mascaritas," who one and all assume a -little high-pitched head-voice to conceal their identities. I fancy -that the real attractions masquerades had for most women lay in the -opportunity they afforded every {256} "mascarita" of saying with -impunity abominably rude things to some other woman whom she -detested. I remember one "mascarita," an acquaintance of mine, whose -identity I pierced at once, giving another veiled form accurate -details not only as to the date when the pearly range of teeth she -was exhibiting to the world had come into her possession, but also -the exact price she had paid for them. - -It takes a stranger from the North some little time to accustom -himself to the inversion of seasons and of the points of the compass -in the southern hemisphere. For instance, "a lovely spring day in -_October_," or "a chilly autumn evening in _May_," rings curiously to -our ears; as it does to hear of a room with a cool _southern_ aspect, -or to hear complaints about the hot _north_ wind. Personally I did -not dislike the north wind; it was certainly moist and warm, but it -smelt deliciously fragrant with a faint spicy odour after its journey -over the great Brazilian forests on its way from the Equator. All -Argentines seemed to feel the north wind terribly; it gave them -headaches, and appeared to dislocate their entire nervous system. In -the Law Courts it was held to be a mitigating circumstance should it -be proved that a murder, or other crime of violence, had been -committed after a long spell of north wind. Many women went about -during a north wind with split beans on their temples to soothe their -headaches, a comical sight till one grew accustomed to it. The old -German {257} housekeeper of the Chancery, Frau Bauer, invariably had -split beans adhering to her temples when the north wind blew. - -The icy _pampero_, the south wind direct from the Pole, was the great -doctor of Buenos Ayres. Darwin used to consider the River Plate the -electrical centre of the world. Nowhere have I experienced such -terrific thunderstorms as in the Argentine. Sometimes on a stifling -summer night, with the thermometer standing at nearly a hundred -degrees, one of these stupendous storms would break over the city -with floods of rain. Following on the storm would come the -_pampero_, gently at first, but increasing in violence until a -blustering, ice-cold gale went roaring through the sweltering city, -bringing the temperature down in four hours with a run from 100 -degrees to 60 degrees. Extremely pleasant for those like myself with -sound lungs; very dangerous to those with delicate chests. - -The old-fashioned Argentine house had no protection over the _patio_. -In bad weather the occupants had to make their way through the rain -from one room to another. Some of the newer houses were built in a -style which I have seen nowhere else except on the stage. Everyone -is familiar with those airy dwellings composed principally of open -colonnades one sees on stage back-cloths. These houses were very -similar in design, with open halls of columns and arches, and -open-air staircases. On the stage it rains but seldom, and the style -may be suited to the climatic conditions prevailing there. {258} In -real life it must be horribly inconvenient. The Italian Minister at -Buenos Ayres lived in a house of this description. In fine weather -it looked extremely picturesque, but I imagine that his Excellency's -progress to bed must have been attended with some difficulties when, -during a thunderstorm, the rain poured in cataracts down his open-air -staircase, and the _pampero_ howled through his open arcades and -galleries. - -The theatres at Buenos Ayres were quite excellent. At the Opera all -the celebrated singers of Europe could be heard, although one could -almost have purchased a nice little freehold property near London for -the price asked for a seat. There were two French theatres, one -devoted to light opera, the other to Palais Royal farces, both -admirably given; and, astonishingly enough, during part of my stay, -there was actually an English theatre with an English stock company. -A peculiarly Spanish form of entertainment is the "Zarzuela," a sort -of musical farce. It requires a fairly intimate knowledge of the -language to follow these pieces with their many topical allusions. - -The Spanish-American temperament seems to dislike instinctively any -gloomy or morbid dramas, differing widely from the Russians in this -respect. At Petrograd, on the Russian stage, the plays, in addition -to the usual marital difficulties, were brightened up by allusions to -such cheerful topics as inherited tendencies to kleptomania or -suicide, or an intense desire for self-mutilation. What {259} -appeals to the morbid frost-bound North apparently fails to attract -the light-hearted sons of the southern hemisphere. - -Buenos Ayres was also a city of admirable restaurants. In the -fashionable places, resplendent with mirrors, coloured marbles and -gilding, the cooking rivals Paris, and the bill, when tendered, makes -one inclined to rush to the telegraph office to cable for further and -largely increased remittances from Europe. There were a number, -however, of unpretending French restaurants of the most meritorious -description. Never shall I forget Sir Edward's face when, in answer -to his questions as to a light supper, the waiter suggested a cold -armadillo; a most excellent dish, by the way, though after seeing the -creature in the Zoological Gardens one would hardly credit it with -gastronomic possibilities. The soil of the Argentine is marvellously -fertile, and some day it will become a great wine-growing country. -In the meantime vast quantities of inferior wine are imported from -Europe. After sampling a thin Spanish red wine, and a heavy sweet -black wine known as Priorato, and having tested their effects on his -digestion, Sir Edward christened them "The red wine of Our Lady of -Pain" and "The black wine of Death." - -When the President of the Republic appeared in public on great -occasions, he was always preceded by a man carrying a large blue -velvet bolster embroidered with the Argentine arms. This was {260} -clearly an emblem of national sovereignty, but what this blue bolster -was intended to typify I never could find out. Did it indicate that -it was the duty of the President to bolster up the Republic, or did -it signify that the Republic was always ready to bolster up its -President? None of my Argentine friends could throw any light upon -the subject further than by saying that this bolster was always -carried in front of the President; a sufficiently self-evident fact. -It will always remain an enigma to me. A bolster seems a curiously -soporific emblem for a young, enterprising, and progressive Republic -to select as its symbol. - -It would be ungallant to pass over without remark the wonderful -beauty of the Argentine girls. This beauty is very shortlived -indeed, and owing to their obstinate refusal to take any exercise -whatever, feminine outlines increase in bulk at an absurdly early -age, but between seventeen and twenty-one many of them are really -lovely. Lolling in hammocks and perpetual chocolate-eating bring -about their own penalties, and sad to say, bring them about very -quickly. I must add that the attractiveness of these girls is rather -physical than intellectual. - -The house Sir Edward and I rented had been originally built for a -stage favourite by one of her many warm-hearted admirers. It had -been furnished according to the lady's own markedly florid tastes. I -reposed nightly in a room entirely draped in sky-blue satin. The -house had a charming garden, {261} and Sir Edward and I expended a -great deal of trouble and a considerable amount of money on it. That -garden was the pride of our hearts, but we had reckoned without the -leaf-cutting ant, the great foe of the horticulturist in South -America. At Rio, and in other places in Brazil, they had a special -apparatus for pumping the fumes of burning sulphur into the -ant-holes, and so were enabled to keep these pests in check. In -private gardens in Brazil every single specially cherished plant had -to have its stem surrounded with unsightly circular troughs of -paraffin and water. In front of our windows we had a large bed of -gardenias backed by a splendid border of many-hued cannas which were -the apple of Sir Edward's eye, He gazed daily on them with an air not -only of pride, but of quasi-paternity. The leaf-cutting ants found -their way into our garden, and in four days nothing remained of our -beautiful gardenias and cannas but some black, leafless stalks. -These abominable insects swept our garden as bare of every green -thing as a flight of locusts would have done; they even killed the -grass where their serried processions had passed. - -For me, the great charm of the Argentine lay in the endless expanses -of the "Camp," far away from the noisy city. The show _estancia_ of -the Argentine was in those days "Negrete," the property of Mr. David -Shennan, kindest and most hospitable of Scotsmen. Most English -residents and visitors out in the Plate cherish grateful {262} -recollections of that pleasant spot, encircled by peach orchards, -where the genial proprietor, like a patriarch of old, welcomed his -guests, surrounded by his vast herds and flocks. I happen to know -the exact number of head of cattle Mr. Shennan had on his estancia on -January 1, 1884, for I was one of the counters at the stocktaking on -the last day of the year. The number was 18,731 head. - -Counting cattle is rather laborious work, and needs close -concentration. Six of us were in the saddle from daybreak to dusk, -with short intervals for meals, and December 31 is at the height of -the summer in the southern hemisphere, so the heat was considerable. - -This is the method employed in a "count." The cattle are driven into -"mobs" of some eight hundred ("Rodeo" is the Spanish term for mob) by -the "peons." Some twenty tame bullocks are driven a quarter of a -mile from the "mob," and the counters line up on their horses between -the two, with their pockets full of beans. The "peons" use their -whips, and one or two of the cattle break away from the herd to the -tame bullocks. They are followed by more and more at an -ever-increasing pace. Each one is counted, and when one hundred is -reached, a bean is silently transferred from the left pocket to the -right. So the process is continued until the entire herd has passed -by. Should the numbers given by the six counters tally within -reason, the count is accepted. Should it differ materially, there is -a recount; then the {263} counters pass on to another "mob" some two -miles away. Under a very hot sun, the strain of continual attention -is exhausting, and those six counters found their beds unusually -welcome that night. - -The dwelling-house of Negrete, which was to become very familiar to -me, was over a hundred years old, and stretched itself one-storied -round a large _patio_, blue and white tiled, with an elaborate -well-head in the centre decorated with good iron-work. The _patio_ -was fragrant with orange and lemon trees, and great bushes of the -lovely sky-blue Paraguayan jasmine. I can never understand why this -shrub, the "Jasmin del Paraguay," with its deliciously sweet perfume -and showy blue flowers, has never been introduced into England. It -would have to be grown under glass, but only requires sufficient heat -to keep the frost out. - -I had never felt the _joie de vivre_--the sheer joy at being -alive--thrill through one's veins so exultantly as when riding over -the "Camp" in early morning. I have had the same feeling on the High -Veldt in South Africa, where there is the same marvellous air, and, -in spite of the undulations of the ground, the same sense of vast -space. The glorious air, the sunlight, the limitless, treeless -expanse of neutral-tinted grass stretching endlessly to the horizon, -and the vast hemisphere of blue sky above had something absolutely -intoxicating in them. It may have been the delight of forgetting -that there were such things as towns, and streets, {264} and -tramways. And then the teeming bird-life of the camp! Ibis and -egrets flashed bronze-green or snowy-white through the sunlight; the -beautiful pink spoon-bills flapped noisily overhead in single file, a -lengthy rosy trail of long legs and necks and brilliant colour; the -quaint little ground owls blinked from the entrances of their -burrows, and dozens of spurred plovers wheeled in incessant -gyrations, keeping up their endless, wearying scream of "téro-téro." -I always wanted to shout and sing from sheer delight at being part of -it all. - -The tinamou, the South American partridge, surprisingly stupid birds, -rose almost under the horses' feet, and dozens of cheery little -sandpipers darted about in all directions. Birds, birds everywhere! -Should one pass near one of the great shallow lagoons, which are such -a feature of the country, its surface would be black with ducks, with -perhaps a regiment of flamingoes in the centre of it, a dazzling -patch of sunlit scarlet, against the turquoise blue the water -reflected from the sky. - -In springtime the "Camp" is covered with the trailing verbena which -in my young days was such a favourite bedding-out plant in England, -its flowers making a brilliant league-long carpet of scarlet or -purple. - -There are endless opportunities for shooting on the "Camp" in the -Province of Buenos Ayres, only limited by the difficulties in -obtaining cartridges, and the fact that in places where it is -impossible to dispose of the game the amount shot must depend {265} -on what can be eaten locally. Otherwise it is not sport, but becomes -wanton slaughter. - -The foolish tinamou are easily shot, but are exceedingly difficult to -retrieve out of the knee-high grass, and if only winged, they can run -like hares. There is also a large black and white migratory bird of -the snipe family, the "batitou," which appears from the frozen -regions of the Far South, as winter comes on, and is immensely prized -for the table. He is unquestionably a delicious bird to eat, but is -very hard to approach owing to his wariness. The duck-shooting was -absolutely unequalled. I had never before known that there were so -many ducks in the world, nor were there the same complicated -preliminaries, as with us; no keepers, no beaters, no dogs were -required. One simply put twenty cartridges in a bandolier, took -one's gun, jumped on a horse, and rode six miles or so to a selected -lagoon. Here the horse was tied up to the nearest fence, and one -just walked into the lagoon. So warm was the water in these lagoons -that I have stood waist-high in it for hours without feeling the -least chilly, or suffering from any ill effects whatever. With the -first step came a mighty and stupendous roar of wings, and a -prodigious quacking, then the air became black with countless -thousands of ducks. Mallards, shovellers, and speckled ducks; black -ducks with crimson feet and bills; the great black and white birds -Argentines call "Royal" ducks, and we "Muscovy" ducks, though with us -they are uninteresting inhabitants of a {266} farm-yard. Ducks, -ducks everywhere! As these confiding fowl never thought of flying -away, but kept circling over the lagoon again and again, I am sure -that anyone, given sufficient cartridges, and the inclination to do -so, could easily have killed five hundred of them to his own gun in -one day. We limited ourselves to ten apiece. Splashing about in the -lagoon, it was easy to pick up the dead birds without a dog, but no -one who has not carried them can have any idea of the weight of eight -ducks in a gamebag pressing on one's back, or can conceive how -difficult it is to get into the saddle on a half-broken horse with -this weight dragging you backwards. In any other country but the -Argentine, to canter home six miles dripping wet would have resulted -in a severe chill. No one ever seemed the worse for it out there. - -At times I went into the lagoons without a gun, just to observe at -close quarters the teeming water-life there. The raucous screams of -the vigilant "téro-téros" warned the water-birds of a hostile -approach, but it was easy to sit down in the shallow warm water -amongst the reeds until the alarm had died down, and one was amply -repaid for it, though the enforced lengthy abstention from tobacco -was trying. - -The "Camp" is a great educator. One learnt there to recap empty -cartridge-cases with a machine, and to reload them. One learnt too -to clean guns and saddlery. When a thing remains undone, unless you -take it in hand yourself, you begin wondering {267} why you should -ever have left these things to be done for you by others. The novice -finds out that a bridle and bit are surprisingly difficult objects to -clean, even given unlimited oil and sandpaper. The "Camp" certainly -educates, and teaches the neophyte independence. - -I shot several pink spoonbills, one of which in a glass case is not -far from me as I write, but I simply longed to get a scarlet -flamingo. Owing to the spoonbills' habit of flitting from lagoon to -lagoon, they are not difficult to shoot, but a flamingo is a very -wary bird. Perched on one leg, they stand in the very middle of a -lagoon, and allow no one within gunshot. The officious "téro-téros" -effectually notify them of the approach of man, and possibly the -flamingoes have learnt from "Alice in Wonderland" that the Queen of -Hearts is in the habit of utilising them as croquet-mallets. The -natural anxiety to escape so ignominious a fate would tend to make -them additionally cautious. Anyhow, I found it impossible to -approach them. The idea occurred to me of trying to shoot one with a -rifle. So I crawled prostrate on my anatomy up to the lagoon. I -failed at least six times, but finally succeeded in killing a -flamingo. Wading into the lagoon, I triumphantly retrieved my -scarlet victim, and took him by train to Buenos Ayres, intending to -hand him over to a taxidermist next day. When I awoke next morning, -the blue satin bower in which I slept (originally fitted up, as I -have explained, as the bedroom of a minor light of {268} the operatic -stage) was filled with a pestilential smell of decayed fish. I -inquired the reason of my English servant, who informed me that the -cook was afraid that there was something wrong about "the queer duck" -I had brought home last night, as its odour was not agreeable. (The -real expression he used was "smelling something cruel.") Full of -horrible forebodings, I jumped out of bed and ran down to the -kitchen, to find a little heap of brilliant scarlet feathers reposing -on the table, and Paquita, our fat Andalusian cook, regarding with -doubtful eyes a carcase slowly roasting before the fire, and filling -the place with unbelievably poisonous effluvia. And that was the end -of the only flamingo I ever succeeded in shooting. - -A London financial house had, by foreclosing a mortgage, come into -possession of a great tract of land in the unsurveyed and uncharted -Indian Reserve, the Gran Chaco. Anxious to ascertain whether their -newly-acquired property was suited for white settlers, the financial -house sent out two representatives to Buenos Ayres with orders to fit -out a little expedition to survey and explore it. I was invited to -join this expedition, and as work was slack at the time, Sir Edward -did not require my services and gave me leave to go. I had been -warned that conditions would be very rough indeed, but the -opportunity seemed one of those that only occur once in a lifetime, -and too good to be lost. I do not think the invitation was quite a -disinterested one. The leaders of the expedition probably {269} -thought that the presence of a member of the British Legation might -be useful in case of difficulties with the Argentine authorities. I -travelled by steamer six hundred miles up the mighty Paraná, and -joined the other members of the expedition at the Alexandra Colony, a -little English settlement belonging to the London firm hundreds of -miles from anywhere, and surrounded by vast swamps. The Alexandra -Colony was a most prosperous little community, but was unfortunately -infested with snakes and every imaginable noxious stinging insect. -As we should have to cross deep swamps perpetually, we took no wagons -with us, but our baggage was loaded on pack-horses. For provisions -we took jerked sun-dried beef (very similar to the South African -"biltong"), hard biscuit, flour, coffee, sugar, and salt, as well as -several bottles of rum, guns, rifles, plenty of ammunition, and two -blankets apiece. We had some thirty horses in all; the loose horses -trotting obediently behind a bell-mare, according to their convenient -Argentine custom. In Argentina mares are never ridden, and a -bell-mare serves the same purpose in keeping the "tropilla" of horses -together as does a bellwether in keeping sheep together with us. At -night only the bell-mare need be securely picketed; the horses will -not stray far from the sound of her tinkling bell. Should the -bell-mare break loose, there is the very devil to pay; all the others -will follow her. It will thus be seen that the bell-mare plays a -very important part. In French families the {270} _belle-mère_ fills -an equally important position. We were four Englishmen in all; the -two leaders, the doctor, and myself. The doctor was quite a -youngster, taking a final outing before settling down to serious -practice in Bristol. A nice, cheery youth! The first night I -discovered how very hard the ground is to sleep upon, but our -troubles did not begin till the second day. We were close up to the -tropics, and got into great swamps where millions and millions of -mosquitoes attacked us day and night, giving us no rest. Our hands -got so swollen with bites that we could hardly hold our reins, and -sleep outside our blankets was impossible with these humming, buzzing -tormentors devouring us. If one attempted to baffle them by putting -one's head under the blanket, the stifling heat made sleep equally -difficult. In four days we reached a waterless land; that is to say, -there were clear streams in abundance, but they were all of salt, -bitter, alkaline water, undrinkable by man or beast. Oddly enough, -all the clear streams were of bitter water, whereas the few muddy -ones were of excellent drinking water. I think these alkaline -streams are peculiar to the interior of South America. Our horses -suffered terribly; so did we. We had three Argentine gauchos with -us, to look after the horses and baggage, besides two pure Indians. -One of these Indians, known by the pretty name of Chinche, or "The -Bug," could usually find water-holes by watching the flight of the -birds. The water in these holes was often black and fetid, {271} yet -we drank it greedily. Chinche could also get a little water out of -some kinds of aloes by cutting the heart out of the plant. In the -resulting cavity about half a glassful of water, very bitter to the -taste, but acceptable all the same, collected in time. Prolonged -thirst under a hot sun is very difficult to bear. We nearly murdered -the doctor, for he insisted on recalling the memories of great cool -tankards of shandy-gaff in Thames-side hostelries, and at our worst -times of drought had a maddening trick of imitating (exceedingly well -too) the tinkling of ice against the sides of a long tumbler. - -In spite of thirst and the accursed mosquitoes it was an interesting -trip. We were where few, if any, white men had been before us; the -scenery was pretty; and game was very plentiful. The open rolling, -down-like country, with its little copses and single trees, was like -a gigantic edition of some English park in the southern counties. In -the early morning certain trees, belonging to the cactus family, I -imagine, were covered with brilliant clusters of flowers, crimson, -pink, and white. As the sun increased in heat all these flowers -closed up like sea anemones, to reopen again after sunset. The place -crawled with deer, and so tame and unsophisticated were they that it -seemed cruel to take advantage of them and to shoot them. We had to -do so for food, for we lived almost entirely on venison, and venison -is a meat I absolutely detest. When food is unpalatable, one is -surprised to find how very little is necessary to sustain life; an -{272} experience most of us have repeated during these last two -years, not entirely voluntarily. Chinche, the Indian, could see the -tracks of any beasts in the dew at dawn, where my eyes could detect -nothing whatever. In this way I was enabled to shoot a fine jaguar, -whose skin has reposed for thirty years in my dining-room. One -night, too, an ant-eater blundered into our camp, and by some -extraordinary fluke I shot him in the dark. His skin now keeps his -compatriot company. An ant-eating bear is a very shy and wary -animal, and as he is nocturnal in his habits, he is but rarely met -with, so this was a wonderful bit of luck. We encountered large -herds of peccaries, the South American wild boar. These little -beasts are very fierce and extremely pugnacious, and the horses -seemed frightened of them. The flesh of the peccary is excellent and -formed a most welcome variation to the eternal venison. I never -could learn to shoot from the saddle as Argentines do, but had to -slip off my horse to fire. I was told afterwards that it was very -dangerous to do this with these savage little peccaries. - -There are always compensations to be found everywhere. Had not the -abominable mosquitoes prevented sleep, one would not have gazed up -for hours at the glorious constellations of the Southern sky, -including that arch-impostor the Southern Cross, glittering in the -dark-blue bowl of the clear tropical night sky. Had we not suffered -so from thirst, we should have appreciated less the unlimited {273} -foaming beer we found awaiting us on our return to the Alexandra -Colony. By the way, all South Americans believe firmly in -moon-strokes, and will never let the moon's rays fall on their faces -whilst sleeping. - -I judged the country we traversed quite unfitted for white settlers, -owing to the lack of good water, and the evil-smelling swamps that -cut the land up so. That exploring trip was doubtless pleasanter in -retrospect than in actual experience. I would not have missed it, -though, for anything, for it gave one an idea of stern realities. - -On returning to the Alexandra Colony, both I and the doctor, a -remarkably fair-skinned young man, found, after copious ablutions, -that our faces and hands had been burnt so black by the sun that we -could easily have taken our places with the now defunct Moore and -Burgess minstrels in the vanished St. James's Hall in Piccadilly -without having to use any burnt-cork whatever. - -On the evening of our arrival at Alexandra, I was reading in the -sitting-room in an armchair against the wall. The doctor called out -to me to keep perfectly still, and not to move on any account until -he returned. He came back with a pickle-jar and a bottle. I smelt -the unmistakable odour of chloroform, and next minute the doctor -triumphantly exhibited an immense tarantula spider in the pickle-jar. -He had cleverly chloroformed the venomous insect within half an inch -of my head, otherwise I should certainly have been bitten. The {274} -bite of these great spiders, though not necessarily fatal, is -intensely painful. - -The doctor had brought out with him a complete anti-snake-bite -equipment, and was always longing for an occasion to use it. He was -constantly imploring us to go and get bitten by some highly venomous -snake, in order to give him an opportunity of testing the efficacy of -his drugs, hypodermic syringes, and lancets. At Alexandra a dog did -get bitten by a dangerous snake, and was at once brought to the -doctor, who injected his snake-bite antidote, with the result that -the dog died on the spot. - -A river ran through Alexandra which was simply alive with fish, also -with alligators. In the upper reaches of the Paraná and its -tributaries, bathing is dangerous not only because of the alligators, -but on account of an abominable little biting-fish. These -biting-fish, which go about in shoals, are not unlike a flounder in -appearance and size. They have very sharp teeth and attack -voraciously everything that ventures into the water. In that climate -their bites are very liable to bring on lockjaw. The doctor and I -spent most of our time along this river with fishing lines and -rifles, for alligators had still the charm of novelty to us both, and -we both delighted in shooting these revolting saurians. I advise no -one to try to skin a dead alligator. There are thousands of sinews -to be cut through, and the pestilential smell of the brute would -sicken a Chinaman. We caught some extraordinary-looking {275} fish -on hand lines, including a great golden carp of over 50 lb. ("dorado" -in Spanish). It took us nearly an hour to land this big fellow, who -proved truly excellent when cooked. - -When I first reached the Argentine, travel was complicated by the -fact that each province issued its own notes, which were only current -within the province itself except at a heavy discount. The value of -the dollar fluctuated enormously in the different provinces. In -Buenos Ayres the dollar was depreciated to four cents, or twopence, -and was treated as such, the ordinary tram fare being one depreciated -dollar. In other provinces the dollar stood as high as three -shillings. In passing from one province to another all paper money -had to be changed, and this entailed the most intricate calculations. -It is unnecessary to add that the stranger was fleeced quite -mercilessly. The currency has since been placed on a more rational -basis. National notes, issued against a gold reserve, have -superseded the provincial currency, and pass from one end of the -Republic to the other. - -Upon returning to Buenos Ayres, my blue-satin bedroom looked -strangely artificial and effeminate, after sleeping on the ground -under the stars for so long. - - - - -{276} - -CHAPTER IX - -Paraguay--Journey up the river--A primitive Capital--Dick the -Australian--His polychrome garb--A Paraguayan Race Meeting--Beautiful -figures of native women--The "Falcon" adventurers--a quaint -railway--Patiño Cué--An extraordinary household--The capable -Australian boy--Wild life in the swamps--"Bushed"--A literary -evening--A railway record--The Tigre midnight -swims--Canada--Maddening flies--A grand salmon river--The Canadian -backwoods--Skunks and bears--Different views as to industrial -progress. - - -As negotiations had commenced in the "'eighties" for a new Treaty, -including an Extradition clause, between the British and Paraguayan -Governments, several minor points connected with it required clearing -up. - -I accordingly went up the river to Asuncion, the Paraguayan capital, -five days distant from Buenos Ayres by steamer. A short account of -that primitive little inland Republic in the days before it was -linked up with Argentina by railway may prove of interest, for it was -unlike anything else, with its stately two hundred-year-old relics of -the old Spanish civilisation mixed up with the roughest of modern -makeshifts. The vast majority of the people were Guaranis, of pure -Indian blood and speech. The little State was so isolated from the -rest of the world that the nineteenth century {277} had touched it -very lightly. Since its independence Paraguay had suffered under the -rule of a succession of Dictator Presidents, the worst of whom was -Francisco Lopez, usually known as Tyrant Lopez. This ignorant savage -aspired to be the Napoleon of South America, and in 1864 declared war -simultaneously on Brazil, Uruguay, and the Argentine Republic. The -war continued till 1870, when, fortunately, Lopez was killed, but the -population of Paraguay had diminished from one and a quarter million -to four hundred thousand people, nearly all the males being killed. -In my time there were seven women to every male of the population. - -The journey up the mighty Paraná is very uninteresting, for these -huge rivers are too broad for the details on either shore to be seen -clearly. After the steamer had turned up the Paraguay river on the -verge of the tropics, it became less monotonous. The last Argentine -town is Formosa, a little place of thatched shanties clustered under -groves of palms. We arrived there at night, and remained three -hours. I shall never forget the eerie, uncanny effect of seeing for -the first time Paraguayan women, with a white petticoat, and a white -sheet over their heads as their sole garments, flitting noiselessly -along on bare feet under the palms in the brilliant moonlight. They -looked like hooded silent ghosts, and reminded me irresistibly of the -fourth act of "Robert le Diable," when the ghosts of the nuns arise -out of their cloister graves at Bertram's command. They did not -though as {278} in the opera, break into a glittering ballet. - -On board the steamer there was a young globe-trotting Australian. He -was a nice, cheery lad, and, like most Australians, absolutely -natural and unaffected. As he spoke no Spanish, he was rather at a -loose end, and we agreed to foregather. - -Asuncion was really a curiosity in the way of capitals. Lopez the -Tyrant suffered from megalomania, as others rulers have done since -his day. He began to construct many imposing buildings, but finished -none of them. He had built a huge palace on the model of the -Tuileries on a bluff over the river. It looked very imposing, but -had no roof and no inside. He had also begun a great mausoleum for -members of the Lopez family, but that again had only a façade, and -was already crumbling to ruin. The rest of the town consisted -principally of mud and bamboo shanties, thatched with palm. The -streets were unpaved, and in the main street a strong spring gushed -up. Everyone rode; there was but one wheeled vehicle in Asuncion, -and that was only used for weddings and funerals. The inhabitants -spoke of their one carriage as we should speak of something -absolutely unique of its kind, say the statue of the Venus de Milo, -or of some rare curiosity, such as a great auk's egg, or a twopenny -blue Mauritius postage stamp, or a real live specimen of the dodo. - -Nothing could be rougher than the accommodation Howard, the young -Australian, and I found at the hotel. We were shown into a very -dirty brick-paved {279} room containing eight beds. We washed -unabashed at the fountain in the _patio_, as there were no other -facilities for ablutions at all, and the bare-footed, shirtless -waiter addressed us each by our Christian names _tout court_, at -once, omitting the customary "Don." The Spanish forms of Christian -names are more melodious than ours, and Howard failed to recognize -his homely name of "Dick" in "Ricardo." - -As South American men become moustached and bearded very early in -life, I think that our clean-shaved faces, to which they were not -accustomed, led the people to imagine us both much younger than we -really were, for I was then twenty-seven, and the long-legged Dick -was twenty-one. Never have I known anyone laugh so much as that -light-hearted Australian boy. He was such a happy, merry, careless -creature, brimful of sheer joy at being alive, and if he had never -cultivated his brains much, he atoned for it by being able to do -anything he liked with his hands and feet. He could mend and repair -anything, from a gun to a fence; he could cook, and use a needle and -thread as skilfully as he could a stock-whip. I took a great liking -to this lean, sun-browned, pleasant-faced lad with the merry laugh -and the perfectly natural manner; we got on together as though we had -known each other all our lives, in fact we were addressing one -another by our Christian names on the third day of our acquaintance. - -Dick was a most ardent cricketer, and his {280} baggage seemed to -consist principally of a large and varied assortment of blazers of -various Australian athletic clubs. He insisted on wearing one of -these, a quiet little affair of mauve, blue, and pink stripes, and -our first stroll through Asuncion became a sort of triumphal -progress. The inhabitants flocked out of their houses, loud in their -admiration of the "Gringo's" (all foreigners are "Gringos" in South -America) tasteful raiment. So much so that I began to grow jealous, -and returning to the hotel, I borrowed another of Howard's blazers -(if my memory serves me right, that of the "Wonga-Wonga Wallabies"), -an artistic little garment of magenta, orange, and green stripes. We -then sauntered about Asuncion, arm-in-arm, to the delirious joy of -the populace. We soon had half the town at our heels, enthusiastic -over these walking rainbows from the mysterious lands outside -Paraguay. These people were as inquisitive as children, and plied us -with perpetual questions. Since Howard could not speak Spanish, all -the burden of conversation fell on me. As I occupied an official -position, albeit a modest one, I thought it best to sink my identity, -and became temporarily a citizen of the United States, Mr. Dwight P. -Curtis, of Hicksville, Pa., and I gave my hearers the most glowing -and rose-coloured accounts of the enterprise and nascent industries -of this progressive but, I fear, wholly imaginary spot. I can only -trust that no Paraguayan left his native land to seek his fortune in -Hicksville, Pa., for he might {281} have had to search the State of -Pennsylvania for some time before finding it. - -I have already recounted, earlier in these reminiscences, how the -Paraguayan Minister for Foreign Affairs received me, and that his -Excellency on that occasion dispensed not only with shoes and -stockings, but with a shirt as well. He was, however, like most -people in Spanish-speaking lands, courtesy itself. - -Dick Howard having heard that there was some races in a country town -six miles away, was, like a true Australian, wild to go to them. -Encouraged by our phenomenal success of the previous day, we arrayed -ourselves in two new Australian blazers, and rode out to the races, -Howard imploring me all the way to use my influence to let him have a -mount there. - -The races were very peculiar. The course was short, only about three -furlongs, and perfectly straight. Only two horses ran at once, so -the races were virtually a succession of "heats," but the excitement -and betting were tremendous. The jockeys were little Indian boys, -and their "colours" consisted of red, blue, or green bathing drawers. -Otherwise they were stark naked, and, of course, bare-legged. The -jockey's principal preoccupation seemed to be either to kick the -opposing jockey in the face, or to crack him over the head with the -heavy butts of their raw-hide whips. Howard still wanted to ride. I -pointed out to him the impossibility of exhibiting to the public -{282} his six feet of lean young Australian in nothing but a pair of -green bathing drawers. He answered that if he could only get a mount -he would be quite willing to dispense with the drawers even. Howard -also had a few remarks to offer about the Melbourne Cup, and -Flemington Racecourse, and was not wholly complimentary to this -Paraguayan country meeting. The ladies present were nearly all -bare-foot, and clad in the invariable white petticoat and sheet. It -was not in the least like the Royal enclosure at Ascot, yet they had -far more on, and appeared more becomingly dressed than many of the -ladies parading in that sacrosanct spot in this year of grace 1919. -Every single woman, and every child, even infants of the tenderest -age, had a green Paraguayan cigar in their mouths. - -These Paraguayan women were as beautifully built as classical -statues; with exquisitely moulded little hands and feet. Their -"attaches," as the French term the wrist and ankles, were equally -delicately formed. They were "tea with plenty of milk in it" colour, -and though their faces were not pretty, they moved with such graceful -dignity that the general impression they left was a very pleasing one. - -Our blazers aroused rapturous enthusiasm. I am sure that the members -of the "St. Kilda Wanderers" would have forgiven me for masquerading -in their colours, could they have witnessed the terrific success I -achieved in my tasteful, if brilliant, borrowed plumage. - -{283} - -Asuncion pleased me. This quaint little capital, stranded in its -backwater in the very heart of the South American Continent, was so -remote from all the interests and movements of the modern world. The -big three-hundred-year cathedral bore the unmistakable dignified -stamp of the old Spanish "Conquistadores." It contained an -altar-piece of solid silver reaching from floor to roof. How Lopez -must have longed to melt that altar-piece down for his own use! -Round the cathedral were some old houses with verandahs supported on -palm trunks, beautifully carved in native patterns by Indians under -the direction of the Jesuits. The Jesuits had also originally -introduced the orange tree into Paraguay, where it had run wild all -over the country, producing delicious fruit, which for some reason -was often green, instead of being of the familiar golden colour. - -Everyone envies what they do not possess. On the Continent cafés are -sometimes decorated with pictures of palms and luxuriant tropical -vegetation, in order to give people of the frozen North an illusion -of warmth. - -In steaming Asuncion, on the other hand, the fashionable café was -named, "The North Pole." Here an imaginative Italian artist with a -deficient sense of perspective and curious ideas of colour had -decorated the walls with pictures of icebergs, snow, and Polar bears, -thus affording the inhabitants of this stew-pan of a town a delicious -sense of arctic coolness. The "North Pole" was the {284} only place -in Paraguay where ice and iced drinks were to be procured. - -Being the height of the summer, the heat was almost unbearable, and -bathing in the river was risky on account of those hateful -biting-fish. There was a spot two miles away, however, where a -stream had been brought to the edge of the cliff overhanging the -river, down which it dropped in a feathery cascade, forming a large -pool below it. Howard and I rode out every morning there to bathe -and luxuriate in the cool water. The river made a great bend here, -forming a bay half a mile wide. This bay was literally choked with -_Victoria regia_, the giant water-lily, with leaves as big as -tea-trays, and great pink flowers the size of cabbages. The lilies -were in full bloom then, quite half a mile of them, and they were -really a splendid sight. I seem somehow in this description of the -_Victoria regia_ to have been plagiarising the immortal Mrs. O'Dowd, -of "Vanity Fair," in her account of the glories of the hot-houses at -her "fawther's" seat of Glenmalony. - -Few people now remember a fascinating book of the "'eighties," "The -Cruise of the Falcon," recounting how six amateurs sailed a -twenty-ton yacht from Southampton to Asuncion in Paraguay. Three of -her crew got so bitten with Paraguay that they determined to remain -there. We met one of these adventurers by chance in Asuncion, -Captain Jardine, late of the P. and O. service, an elderly man. He -invited us to visit them at {285} Patiño Cué, the place where they -had settled down, some twenty-five miles from the capital, though he -warned us that we should find things extremely rough there, and that -there was not one single stick of furniture in the house. He asked -us to bring out our own hammocks and blankets, as well as our guns -and saddles, the saddle being in my time an invariable item of a -traveller's baggage. - -Dick and I accordingly bought grass-plaited hammocks and blankets, -and started two days later, "humping our swags," as the Australian -picturesquely expressed the act of carrying our own possessions. -That colour-loving youth had donned a different blazer, probably that -of the "Coolgardie Cockatoos." It would have put Joseph's coat of -many colours completely in the shade any day of the week, and -attracted a great deal of flattering attention. - -The ambitious Lopez had insisted on having a railway in his State, to -show how progressive he was, so a railway was built. It ran sixty -miles from Asuncion to nowhere in particular, and no one ever wanted -to travel by it; still it was unquestionably a railway. To give a -finishing touch to this, Lopez had constructed a railway station big -enough to accommodate the traffic of Paddington. It was, of course, -not finished, but was quite large enough for its one train a day. -The completed portion was imposing with columns and statues, the rest -tailed off to nothing. Here, to our amazement, we found a train -composed of {286} English rolling-stock, with an ancient engine built -in Manchester, and, more wonderful to say, with an Englishman as -engine-driver. The engine not having been designed for burning wood, -the fire-box was too small, and the driver found it difficult to keep -up steam with wood, as we found out during our journey. We travelled -in a real English first-class carriage of immense antiquity, blue -cloth and all. So decrepit was it that when the speed of the train -exceeded five miles an hour (which was but seldom) the roof and sides -parted company, and gaped inches apart. We seldom got up the -gradients at the first or second try, but of course allowances must -be made for a Paraguayan railway. Lopez had built Patiño Cué, for -which we were bound, as a country-house for himself. He had not, of -course, finished it, but had insisted on his new railway running -within a quarter of a mile of his house, which we found very -convenient. - -I could never have imagined such a curious establishment as the one -at Patiño Cué. The large stone house, for which Jardine paid the -huge rent of £5 per annum, was tumbling to ruin. Three rooms only -were fairly water-tight, but these had gaping holes in their roofs -and sides, and the window frames had long since been removed. The -fittings consisted of a few enamelled iron plates and mugs, and of -one tin basin. Packing cases served as seats and tables, and -hammocks were slung on hooks. Captain Jardine did all the cooking -and ran the establishment; his two companions (Howard {287} and I, -for convenience's sake, simply termed them "the wasters") lay smoking -in their hammocks all day, and did nothing whatever. I may add that -"the wasters" supplied the whole financial backing. Jardine wore -native dress, with bare legs and sandals, a poncho round his waist, -and another over his shoulders. A poncho is merely a fringed brown -blanket with hole cut in it for the head to pass through. With his -long grey beard streaming over his flowing garments, Jardine looked -like a neutral-tinted saint in a stained-glass window. It must be a -matter for congratulation that, owing to the very circumstances of -the case, saints in stained-glass windows are seldom called on to -take violent exercise, otherwise their voluminous draperies would -infallibly all fall off at the second step. Jardine was a highly -educated and an interesting man, with a love for books on metaphysics -and other abstruse subjects. He carried a large library about with -him, all of which lay in untidy heaps on the floor. He was -unquestionably more than a little eccentric. The "wasters" did not -count in any way, unless cheques had to be written. The other -members of the establishment were an old Indian woman who smoked -perpetual cigars, and her grandson, a boy known as Lazarus, from a -physical defect which he shared with a Biblical personage, on the -testimony of the latter's sisters--you could have run a drag with -that boy. - -The settlers had started as ranchers; but the {288} "wasters" had -allowed the cattle to break loose and scatter all over the country. -They had been too lazy to collect them, or to repair the broken -fences, so just lay in their hammocks and smoked. There were some -fifty acres of orange groves behind the house. The energetic Jardine -had fenced these in, and, having bought a number of pigs, turned pork -butcher. There was an abundance of fallen fruit for these pigs to -fatten on, and Jardine had built a smoke-house, where he cured his -orange-fed pork, and smoked it with lemon wood. His bacon and hams -were super-excellent, and fetched good prices in Asuncion, where they -were establishing quite a reputation. - -Meanwhile, the "wasters" lay in their hammocks in the verandah and -smoked. Jardine told me that one of them had not undressed or -changed his clothes for six weeks, as it was far too much trouble. -Judging from his appearance, he had not made use of soap and water -either during that period. - -Dick Howard proved a real "handy man." In two days this lengthy, -lean, sunburnt youth had rounded up and driven home the scattered -cattle, and then set to work to mend and repair all the broken -fences. He caught the horses daily, and milked the cows, an art I -was never able myself to acquire, and made tea for himself in a -"billy." - -Patiño Cué was a wonderful site for a house. It stood high up on -rolling open ground, surrounded by intensely green wooded knolls. -The {289} virgin tropical forest extended almost up to the -dilapidated building on one side, whilst in front of it the ground -fell away to a great lake, three miles away. A long range of green -hills rose the other side of the water, and everywhere clear little -brooks gurgled down to the lake. - -I liked the place, in spite of its intense heat, and stayed there -over a fortnight, helping with the cattle, and making myself as -useful as I could in repairing what the "wasters" had allowed to go -to ruin. They reposed meanwhile in their hammocks. - -It was very pretty country, and had the immense advantage of being -free from mosquitoes. As there are disadvantages everywhere, to make -up for this it crawled with snakes. - -Jardine's culinary operations were simplicity itself. He had some -immense earthen jars four feet high, own brothers to those seen on -the stage in "Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves" at pantomime time. -These must have been the identical jars in which the Forty Thieves -concealed themselves, to be smothered with boiling oil by the crafty -Morgiana. By the way, I never could understand until I had seen -fields of growing sesame in India why Ali Baba's brother should have -mistaken the talisman words "Open Sesame" for "Open Barley." The two -grains are very similar in appearance whilst growing, which explains -it. - -Jardine placed a layer of beef at the bottom of his jar. On that he -put a layer of mandioca (the {290} root from which tapioca is -prepared), another layer of his own bacon, and a stratum of green -vegetables. Then more beef, and so on till the jar was half full. -In went a handful of salt, two handfuls of red peppers, and two -gallons of water, and then a wood fire was built round the pot, which -simmered away day and night till all its contents were eaten. The -old Indian woman baked delicious bread from the root of the mandioca -mixed with milk and cheese, and that constituted our entire dietary. -There were no fixed meals. Should you require food, you took a hunch -of mandioca bread and a tin dipper, and went to the big earthen jar -simmering amongst its embers in the yard. Should you wish for soup, -you put the dipper in at the top; if you preferred stew, you pushed -it to the bottom. Nothing could be simpler. As a rough and ready -way of feeding a household it had its advantages, though there was -unquestionably a certain element of monotony about it. - -As a variation from the eternal beef and mandioca, Jardine begged -Dick and myself to shoot him as many snipe as possible, in the swamps -near the big lake. Those swamps were most attractive, and were -simply alive with snipe and every sort of living creature. Dick was -an excellent shot, and we got from five to fifteen couple of snipe -daily. The tree-crowned hillocks in the swamp were the haunts of -macaws, great gaudy, screaming, winged rainbows of green and scarlet, -and orange and blue, like some of Dick's blazers endowed with -feathers {291} and motion. We had neither of us ever seen wild -macaws before, and I am afraid that we shot a good many for the sheer -pleasure of examining these garish parrots at close quarters, though -they are quite uneatable. I shall carry all my life marks on my left -hand where a macaw bit me to the bone. There were great -brilliant-plumaged toucans too, droll freaks of nature, with huge -horny bills nearly as large as their bodies, given them to crack the -nuts on which they feed. They flashed swiftly pink through the air, -but we never succeeded in getting one. Then there were coypus, the -great web-footed South American water-rat, called "nutria" in -Spanish, and much prized for his fur. That marsh was one of the most -interesting places I have ever been in. The old Indian woman warned -us that we should both infallibly die of fever were we to go into the -swamps at nightfall, but though Dick and I were there every evening -for a fortnight, up to our middles in water, we neither of us took -the smallest harm, probably owing to the temporary absence of -mosquitoes. The teeming hidden wild-life of the place appealed to us -both irresistibly. The water-hog, or capincho, is a quaint beast, -peculiar to South America. They are just like gigantic varnished -glossy-black guinea pigs, with the most idiotically stupid expression -on their faces. They are quite defenceless, and are the constant -prey of alligators and jaguars. Consequently they are very timid. -These creatures live in the water all day, but come out in the -evenings {292} to feed on the reeds and water-herbage. By concealing -ourselves amongst the reeds, and keeping perfectly still, we were -able to see these uncouth, shy things emerging from their day -hiding-places and begin browsing on the marsh plants. To see a very -wary animal at close quarters, knowing that he is unconscious of your -presence, is perfectly fascinating. We never attempted to shoot or -hurt these capinchos; the pleasure of seeing the clumsy gambols of -one of the most timid animals living, in its fancied security, was -quite enough. The capincho if caught very young makes a delightful -pet, for he becomes quite tame, and, being an affectionate animal, -trots everywhere after his master, with a sort of idiotic simper on -his face. - -One evening, on our return from the marsh, we were ill-advised enough -to attempt a short cut home through the forest. The swift tropical -night fell as we entered the forest, and in half an hour we were -hopelessly lost, "fairly bushed," as Dick put it. There is a feeling -of complete and utter helplessness in finding oneself on a pitch-dark -night in a virgin tropical forest that is difficult to express in -words. The impenetrable tangles of jungle; the great lianes hanging -from the trees, which trip you up at every step; the masses of thorny -and spiky things that hold you prisoner; and, as regards myself -personally, the knowledge that the forest was full of snakes, all -make one realise that electric-lighted Piccadilly has its distinct -advantages. Dick had the true Australian's indifference to snakes. -He never {293} could understand my openly-avowed terror of these -evil, death-dealing creatures, nor could he explain to himself the -physical repugnance I have to these loathsome reptiles. This -instinctive horror of snakes is, I think, born in some people. It -can hardly be due to atavism, for the episode of the Garden of Eden -is too remote to account of an inherited antipathy to these gliding, -crawling abominations. We settled that we should have to sleep in -the forest till daylight came, though, dripping wet as we both were -from the swamp, it was a fairly direct invitation to malarial fever. -The resourceful Dick got an inspiration, and dragging his -interminable length (he was like Euclid's definition of a straight -line) up a high tree, he took a good look at the familiar stars of -his own Southern hemisphere. Getting his bearings from these, he -also got our direction, and after a little more tree-climbing we -reached our dilapidated temporary home in safety. I fear that I -shall never really conquer my dislike to snakes, sharks, and -earthquakes. - -Jardine was a great and an omnivorous reader. Dick too was very fond -of reading. Like the hero of "Mr. Sponge's Sporting Tour" he carried -his own library with him. As in Mr. Sponge's case, it consisted of -one book only, but in the place of being "Mogg's Cab Fares," it was a -guide to the Australian Turf, a sort of Southern Cross "Ruff's -Guide," with a number of pedigrees of Australian horses thrown in. -Dick's great intellectual amusement was learning these pedigrees by -heart. I used {294} to hear them for him, and, having a naturally -retentive memory, could in the "'eighties" have passed a very -creditable examination in the pedigrees of the luminaries of the -Australian Turf. - -Our evenings at Patiño Cué would have amused a spectator, had there -been one. In the tumble-down, untidy apology for a room, Jardine, -seated on a packing-case under the one wall light, was immersed in -his favourite Herbert Spencer; looking, in his flowing ponchos, long -grey beard, and bare legs, like a bespectacled apostle. He always -seemed to me to require an eagle, or a lion or some other apostolic -adjunct, in order to look complete. I, on another packing-case, was -chuckling loudly over "Monsieur et Madame Cardinal," though Paris -seemed remote from Paraguay. Dick, pulling at a green cigar, a -far-off look in his young eyes, was improving his mind by learning -some further pedigrees of Australian horses, at full length on the -floor, where he found more room for his thin, endless legs; whilst -the two "wasters" dozed placidly in their hammocks on the verandah. -The "wasters," I should imagine, attended church but seldom. -Otherwise they ought to have ejaculated "We have left undone those -things which we ought to have done" with immense fervour, for they -never did anything at all. - -"Lotos-eaters" might be a more poetic name than "wasters," for if -ever there was a land "in which it seemed always afternoon," that -land is Paraguay. Could one conceive of the "wasters" displaying -{295} such unwonted energy, it is possible that-- - - "And all at once they sang 'Our island home - Is far beyond the wave; we will no longer roam'." - -They had eaten of the Lotos-fruit abundantly, and in the golden -sunshine of Paraguay, and amidst its waving green palms, they only -wished-- - - "In the hollow Lotos-land to live and lie reclined." - - -I should perhaps add that "cafia," or sugar-cane spirit, is distilled -in large quantities in Paraguay, and that one at least of the -Lotos-eaters took a marked interest in this national product. - -There were some beautiful nooks in the forest, more especially one -deep blue rocky pool into which a foaming cascade pattered through a -thick encircling fringe of wild orange trees. This little hollow was -brimful of loveliness, with the golden balls of the fruit, and the -brilliant purple tangles of some unknown creeper reflected in the -blue pool. Dick and I spent hours there swimming, and basking _puris -naturalibus_ on the rocks, until the whole place was spoilt for me by -a rustling in the grass, as a hateful ochre-coloured creature -wriggled away in sinuous coils from my bare feet. - -I accompanied Jardine once or twice to a little village some five -miles away, where he got the few household stores he required. This -tiny village was a piece of seventeenth-century Spain, dumped bodily -down amid the riotous greenery of Paraguay. Round {296} a tall white -church in the florid Jesuit style, a few beautiful Spanish stone -houses clustered, each with its tangle of tropical garden. There was -not one single modern erection to spoil the place. Here foaming -bowls of chocolate were to be had, and delicious mandioca bread. It -was a picturesque, restful little spot, so utterly unexpected in the -very heart of the South American Continent. I should like to put on -the stage that tall white church tower cutting into the intense blue -of the sky above, with the vivid green of the feathery palms reaching -to its belfry, and the time-worn houses round it peeping out from -thickets of scarlet poinsettias and hibiscus flowers. It would make -a lovely setting for "Cavalleria Rusticana," for instance. - -I never regretted my stay at Patiño Cué. It gave one a glimpse of -life brought down to conditions of bed-rock simplicity, and of types -of character I had never come across before. - -We travelled back to Asuncion on the engine of the train; I seated in -front on the cow-catcher, Dick, his coat off and his shirt-sleeves -rolled back, on the footplate, officiating as amateur fireman. - -This vigorous young Antipodean hurled logs into the fire-box of the -venerable "Vesuvius" as fast as though he were pitching in balls when -practising his bowling at the nets, with the result that the crazy -old engine attained a speed that must have fairly amazed her. When -we stopped at stations, "Vesuvius" had developed such a head of steam -that she nearly blew her safety-valve off, {297} and steam hissed -from twenty places in her leaky joints. One ought never to be -astonished at misplaced affections. I have seen old ladies lavish a -wealth of tenderness on fat, asthmatical, and wholly repellent pugs, -so I ought not to have been surprised at the immense pride the -English driver took in his antique engine. I am bound to say that he -kept her beautifully cleaned and burnished. His face beamed at her -present performance, and he assured me that with a little coaxing he -could knock sixty miles an hour out of "Vesuvius." I fear that this -statement "werged on the poetical," as Mr. Weller senior remarked on -another occasion. I should much like to have known this man's -history, and to have learnt how he had drifted into driving an engine -of this futile, forlorn little Paraguayan railway. I suspect, from -certain expressions he used, that he was a deserter from the Royal -Navy, probably an ex-naval stoker. As Dick had ridden ten miles that -morning to say good-bye to a lady, to whom he imagined himself -devotedly attached, he was still very smart in white polo-breeches, -brown butcher-boots and spurs, an unusual garb for a railway fireman. -For the first time in the memory of the oldest living inhabitant, the -train reached Asuncion an hour before her time. - -The river steamers' cargo in their downstream trip consisted of -cigars, "Yerba mate," and oranges. These last were shipped in bulk, -and I should like a clever artist to have drawn our steamer, with -tons and tons of fruit, golden, {298} lemon-yellow, and green, piled -on her decks. It made a glowing bit of colour. The oranges were the -only things in that steamer that smelt pleasantly. - -I can never understand why "Yerba mate," or Paraguayan tea, has never -become popular in England. It is prepared from the leaves of the -ilex, and is strongly aromatic and very stimulating. I am myself -exceedingly fond of it. Its lack of popularity may be due to the -fact that it cannot be drunk in a cup, but must be sucked from a -gourd through a perforated tube. It can (like most other things) be -bought in London, if you know where to go to. - -At Buenos Ayres I was quite sorry to part with the laughing, lanky -Australian lad who had been such a pleasant travelling companion, and -who seemed able to do anything he liked with his arms and legs. I -expect that he could have done most things with his brains too, had -he ever given them a chance. Howard's great merit was that he took -things as they came, and never grumbled at the discomforts and minor -hardships one must expect in a primitive country like Paraguay. Our -tastes as regards wild things (with the possible exception of snakes) -rather seemed to coincide, and, neither of us being town-bred, we did -not object to rather elementary conditions. - -I will own that I was immensely gratified at receiving an overseas -letter some eight years later from Dick, telling me that he was -married and had a little daughter, and asking {299} me to stand -godfather for his first child. - -My blue satin bedroom looked more ridiculously incongruous than ever -after the conditions to which I had been used at Patiño Cué. - -The River Plate is over twenty miles broad at Buenos Ayres, and it is -not easy to realise that this great expansive is all fresh water. -The "Great Silver River" is, however, very shallow, except in -mid-channel. Some twenty-five miles from the city it forms on its -southern bank a great archipelago of wooded islands interspersed with -hundreds of winding channels, some of them deep enough to carry -ocean-going steamers. This is known as the Tigre, and its shady -tree-lined waterways are a great resort during the sweltering heat of -an Argentine summer. It is the most ideal place for boating, and -boasts a very flourishing English Rowing Club, with a large fleet of -light Thames-built boats. Here during the summer months I took the -roughest of rough bungalows, with two English friends. The -three-roomed shanty was raised on high piles, out of reach of floods, -and looked exactly like the fishermen's houses one sees lining the -rivers in native villages in the Malay States. During the intense -heat of January the great delight of life at the Tigre was the -midnight swim in the river before turning in. The Tigre is too far -south for the alligators, biting-fish, electric rays (I allude to -fish; not to beams of light), or other water-pests which Nature has -lavished on the tropics in order to counteract their irresistible -charm--and to prevent the whole world from {300} settling down there. -The water of the Tigre was so warm that one could remain in it over -an hour. One mental picture I am always able to conjure up, and I -can at will imagine myself at midnight paddling lazily down-stream on -my back through the milk-warm water, in the scented dusk, looking up -at the pattern formed by the leaves of the overhanging trees against -the night sky; a pattern of black lace-work against the polished -silver of the Southern moonlight, whilst the water lapped gently -against the banks, and an immense joy at being alive filled one's -heart. - -I went straight from Buenos Ayres to Canada on a tramp steamer, and a -month after leaving the Plate found myself in the backwoods of the -Province of Quebec, on a short but very famous river running into the -Bay of Chaleurs, probably the finest salmon river in the world, and I -was fortunate enough to hook and to land a 28 lb. salmon before I had -been there one hour. No greater contrast in surroundings can be -imagined. In the place of the dead-flat, treeless levels of Southern -Argentina, there were dense woods of spruce, cedar, and var, climbing -the hills as far as the eye could see. Instead of the superficially -courteous Argentine gaucho, with his air of half-concealed contempt -for the "Gringo," and the ever-ready knife, prepared to leap from his -waist-belt at the slightest provocation, there were the blunt, -outspoken, hearty Canadian canoe-men, all of them lumbermen during -the winter months. The fishing was ideal, and the {301} fish ran -uniformly large and fought like Trojans in the heavy water, but, -unfortunately, every single winged insect on the North American -Continent had arranged for a summer holiday on this same river at the -same time. There they all were in their myriads; black-flies, -sand-flies, and mosquitoes, all enjoying themselves tremendously. By -day one was devoured by black-flies, who drew blood every time they -bit. At nightfall the black-flies very considerately retired to -rest, and the little sand-flies took their place. The mosquitoes -took no rest whatever. These rollicking insects were always ready to -turn night into day, or day into night, indiscriminately, provided -there were some succulent humans to feed on. A net will baffle the -mosquito, but for the sand-flies the only effective remedy was a -"smudge" burning in an iron pail. A "smudge" is a fire of damp fir -bark, which smoulders but does not blaze. It also emits huge volumes -of smoke. We dined every night in an atmosphere denser than a thick -London fog, and the coughing was such that a chance visitor would -have imagined that he had strayed into a sanatorium for tuberculosis. - -Things are done expeditiously in Canada. The ground had been -cleared, the wooden house in which we lived erected, and the rough -track through the forest made, all in eight weeks. - -No one who has not tried it can have any idea of the intense cold of -the water in these short Canadian rivers. Their course is so short, -and they {302} are so overhung with fir trees, that the fierce rays -of a Canadian summer sun hardly touch them, so the water remains -about ten degrees above freezing point. It would have been -impossible to swim our river. Even a short dip of half a minute left -one with gasping breath and chattering teeth. - -I was surprised to find, too, that a Canadian forest is far more -impenetrable than a tropical one. Here, the fallen trees and decay -of countless centuries have formed a thick crust some two or three -feet above the real soil. This moss-grown crust yields to the weight -of a man and lets him through, so walking becomes infinitely -difficult, and practically impossible. To extricate yourself at -every step from three feet of decaying rubbish is very exhausting. -In the tropics, that great forcing-house, this decaying vegetable -matter would have given life to new and exuberant growths; but not so -in Canada, frost-bound for four months of the twelve. Two-foot-wide -tracks had been cut through the forest along the river, and the trees -there were "blazed" (_i.e._, notched, so as to show up white where -the bark had been hacked off), to indicate the direction of the -trails; otherwise it would have been impossible to make one's way -through the _débris_ of a thousand years for more than a few yards. - -I never saw such a wealth of wild fruit as on the banks of this -Canadian stream. Wild strawberries and raspberries grew in such -profusion that a bucketful of each could be filled in half an hour. - -{303} - -There was plenty of animal life too. A certain pretty little black -and white striped beast was quite disagreeably common. This -attractive cat-like little creature was armed with stupendous -offensive powers, as all who have experienced a skunk's unspeakably -disgusting odour will acknowledge. Unless molested, they did not -make use of the terrible possibilities they had at their command. -There were also plenty of wandering black bears. These animals live -for choice on grain and berries, and are not hostile to man without -provocation, but they have enormous strength, and it is a good -working rule to remember that it is unwise ever to vex a bear -unnecessarily, even a mild-tempered black bear. - -Our tumbling, roaring Canadian river cutting its way through rounded, -densely-wooded hills was wonderfully pretty, and one could not but -marvel at the infinitely varied beauty with which Providence has -clothed this world of ours, wherever man has not defaced Nature's -perfect craftsmanship. - -The point of view of the country-bred differs widely from that of the -town dweller in this respect. - -Here is a splendid waterfall, churning itself into whirling cataracts -of foam down the face of a jagged cliff. The townsman cries, "What -tremendous power is running to waste here! Let us harness it -quickly. We will divert the falls into hideous water-pipes, and -bring them to our turbines. We will build a power-house cheaply of -corrugated iron, and in time we shall so develop {304} this sleepy -countryside that no one will recognise it." - -Here is a great forest; a joy to the eyes. "The price of timber is -rising; let us quickly raze it to the ground." - -"Our expert tells us that under this lovely valley there runs a thick -seam of coal. We will sink shafts, and build blatantly hideous towns -and factories, pollute this clear air with smoke and mephitic -vapours, and then fall down and worship the great god Progress. We -will also pocket fat dividends." - -The stupid, unprogressive son of woods and green fields shudders at -such things; the son of asphalte, stuffy streets, tramways, and arc -lights glories in them. - -Like many other things, it all depends on the point of view. - - - - -{305} - -CHAPTER X - -Former colleagues who have risen to -eminence--Kiderlin-Waechter--Aehrenthal--Colonel Klepsch--The -discomfiture of an inquisitive journalist--Origin of certain Russian -scares--Tokyo--Dulness of Geisha dinners--Japanese culinary -curiosities--"Musical Chairs"--Lack of colour in Japan--The Tokugawa -dynasty--Japanese Gardens--The transplanted suburban Embassy -house--Cherry-blossom--Japanese Politeness--An unfortunate incident -in Rome--Eastern courtesy--The country in Japan--An Imperial duck -catching party--An up-to-date Tokyo house--A Shinto -Temple--Linguistic difficulties at a dinner-party--The economical -colleague--Japan defaced by advertisements. - - -Petrograd was the only capital at which I was stationed in which -there was a diplomatic _table d'hôte_. In one of the French -restaurants there, a room was specially set apart for the diplomats, -and here the "chers collègues" foregathered nightly, when they had no -other engagements. When a Spaniard and a Dane, a Roumanian and a -Dutchman, a Hungarian and an Englishman dine together frequently, it -becomes a subject of thankfulness that the universal use of the -French language as a means of international communication has -mitigated the linguistic difficulties brought about by the ambitious -tower-builders of Babel. - -Two men whom I met frequently at that diplomatic _table d'hôte_ rose -afterwards to important {306} positions in their own countries. They -were Baron von Kiderlin-Waechter, the German, and Baron von -Aehrenthal, the Austrian, both of whom became Ministers for Foreign -Affairs in their respective countries, and both of whom are now dead. -Kiderlin-Waechter arrived in Petrograd as quite a young man with the -reputation of being Bismarck's favourite and most promising pupil. -Though a South German by birth, Kiderlin-Waechter had acquired an -overbearing and dictatorial manner of the most approved Prussian -type. When a number of young men, all of whom are on very friendly -terms with each other, constantly meet, there is naturally a good -deal of fun and chaff passed to and fro between them. Diplomats are -no exception to this rule, and the fact that the ten young men -talking together may be of ten different nationalities is no bar to -the interchange of humorous personalities, thanks to the convenient -French language, which lends itself peculiarly to "persiflage." - -Germans can never understand the form of friendly banter which we -term chaff, and always resent it deeply. I have known German -diplomats so offended at a harmless joke that they have threatened to -challenge the author of it to a duel. I should like to pay a belated -tribute to the memory of the late Count Lovendal, Danish Minister in -Petrograd; peace to his ashes! This kindly, tactful, middle-aged man -must during my time in Petrograd have stopped at least eight duels. -People in trouble went straight to Count Lovendal, and this {307} -shrewd, kind-hearted, experienced man of the world heard them with -infinite patience, and then always gave them sound advice. As years -went on, Count Lovendal came to be a sort of recognised Court of -Honour, to whom all knotty and delicate points were referred. He, if -anyone, should have "Blessed are the peacemakers" inscribed on his -tomb. At least four of the duels he averted were due to the -inability of Germans to stand chaff. Kiderlin-Waechter, for -instance, was for ever taking offence at harmless jokes, and -threatening swords and pistols in answer to them. He was a very big, -gross-looking, fair-haired man; with exactly the type of face that a -caricaturist associates with the average Prussian. - -His face was slashed with a generous allowance of the scars of which -Germans are so proud, as testifying to their prowess in their -student-duelling days. I think that it was the late Sir Wilfrid -Lawson who, referring to the beer-drinking habits of German students -and their passionate love of face-slashing, described them as living -in a perpetual atmosphere of "scars and swipes." Though from South -Germany, Kiderlin snapped out his words with true "Preussische -Grobheit" in speaking German. Fortunately, it is impossible to -obtain this bullying effect in the French language. It does not lend -itself to it. I should be guilty of exaggeration were I to say that -Kiderlin-Waechter was wildly adored by his foreign colleagues. He -became Minister for Foreign Affairs of the German {308} Empire, but -made the same mistake as some of his predecessors, notably Count -Herbert Bismarck, had done. They attributed Bismarck's phenomenal -success to his habitual dictatorial, bullying manner. This was -easily copied; they forgot the genius behind the bully, which could -not be copied, and did not realise that Bismarck's tremendous brain -had not fallen to their portion. Kiderlin-Waechter's tenure of -office was a short one; he died very suddenly in 1912. He was a -violent Anglophobe. - -Baron von Aehrenthal was a very different stamp of man. He was of -Semitic origin, and in appearance was a good-looking, tall, slim, -dark young fellow with very pleasing manners. Some people indeed -thought his manners too pleasant, and termed them subservient. I -knew Aehrenthal very well indeed, and liked him, but I never -suspected that under that very quiet exterior there lay the most -intense personal ambition. He became Austro-Hungarian Minister for -Foreign Affairs in 1907, being raised to the rank of Count next year. -This quiet, sleepy-mannered man began embarking on a recklessly bold -foreign policy, and, to the surprise of those who fancied that they -knew him well, exhibited a most domineering spirit. The old Emperor -Francis Joseph's mental powers were failing, and it was Aehrenthal -who persuaded him to put an end to the understanding with Russia -under which the _status quo_ in the Balkan States was guaranteed, and -to astonish Europe in 1908 by proclaiming the annexation of Bosnia -and Herzegovina {309} to the Austrian Empire. This step, owing to -the seething discontent it aroused in Bosnia, led directly to the -catastrophe of Sarajevo on June 28, 1914, and plunged Europe into the -most terrible war of history. Aehrenthal, whether intentionally or -not, played directly into the hands of the Pan-Germanic party, and -succeeded in tying his own country, a pliant vassal, to the -chariot-wheels of Berlin. It was Aehrenthal who brought the -immemorially old Hapsburg Monarchy crashing to the ground and by his -foreign policy caused the proud Austrian Empire to collapse like a -house of cards. He did not live to see the final results of his -work, for he died in 1912. - -Colonel Klepsch, the Austro-Hungarian Military Attaché at Petrograd, -another _habitué_ of the diplomatic _table d'hôte_, was a most -remarkable man. He knew more of the real state of affairs in Russia, -and of the inner workings and intentions of the Russian Government, -than any other foreigner in the country, _and his information was -invariably correct_. Nearly all the foreign Ambassadors consulted -Colonel Klepsch as to the probable trend of affairs in Russia, and at -times he called on them and volunteered pieces of information. It -was well known that his source of intelligence was a feminine one, -and experience had proved that it was always to be relied upon. To -this day I do not know whether this mysterious, taciturn man was at -times used as a convenient mouthpiece by the Russian Government, at -the instigation of a {310} certain person to whom he was devotedly -attached; whether he acted on instructions from his own Ambassador, -or if he took the steps he did on his own initiative. This tall, -red-haired, silent man, with his uncanny knowledge of every detail of -what was happening in the country, will always remain an enigma to me. - -I mentioned earlier in these reminiscences that Lord Dufferin on one -occasion accomplished the difficult feat of turning an English -newspaper correspondent out of his house with the most charming -courtesy. - -After an interval of nearly forty years, I can without indiscretion -say how this came about. The person in question, whom we will call -Mr. Q., was an exceedingly enterprising journalist, the correspondent -of a big London daily. He was also pretty unscrupulous as to the -methods he employed in gathering information. It is quite obviously -the duty of a newspaper correspondent to collect information for his -paper. It is equally clearly the duty of those to whom official -secrets are entrusted to prevent their becoming public property; so -here we have conflicting interests. At times it happens that an -"incident" arises between two Governments apparently trivial in -itself, but capable of being fanned into such a fierce flame by -popular opinion as to make it difficult for either Government to -recede from the position they had originally taken up. The Press -screams loudly on both sides, and every Government shrinks from {311} -incurring the unpopularity which a charge of betraying the national -interests would bring upon it. Experience has shown that in these -cases the difficulties can usually be smoothed down, provided the -whole matter be kept secret, and that neither the public nor the -Press of either of the two countries concerned have an inkling of the -awkward situation that has arisen. An indiscreet or hysterical Press -can blow a tiny spark into a roaring conflagration and work up -popular feeling to fever-pitch. It may surprise people to learn that -barely twenty years ago such a situation arose between our own -country and another European Power (_not_ Germany). Those in charge -of the negotiations on both sides very wisely determined that the -matter should be concealed absolutely from the public and the Press -of both countries, and not one word about it was allowed to leak out. -Otherwise the situation might have been one of extreme gravity, for -it was again one of those cases where neither Government could give -way without being accused of pusillanimity. As it was, the matter -was settled amicably in a week, and to this day very few people know -that this very serious difficulty ever occurred. - -Nearly forty years ago, just such a situation had arisen between us -and the Russian Government; but the Ambassador was convinced that he -could smooth it away provided that the whole thing were kept secret. - -Mr. Q. was a first-rate journalist, and his _flair_ {312} as a -newspaperman told him that _something_ was wrong. From the Russians -he could learn nothing; they were as close as wax; so Mr. Q. turned -his attention to the Chancery of the British Embassy. His methods -were simple. He gained admission to the Chancery on some pretext or -another, and then walking about the room, and talking most volubly, -he cast a roving eye over any papers that might be lying about on the -tables. In all Chanceries a book called the Register is kept in -which every document received or sent out is entered, with, of -course, its date, and a short summary of its contents. It is a large -book, and reposes on its own high desk. Ours stood in a window -overlooking the Neva. Mr. Q. was not troubled with false delicacy. -Under pretence of admiring the view over the river, he attempted to -throw a rapid eye over the Register. A colleague of mine, as a -gentle hint, removed the Register from under Mr. Q.'s very nose, and -locked it up in the archive press. Mr. Q., however, was not -thin-skinned. He came back again and again, till the man became a -positive nuisance. We always cleared away every paper before he was -allowed admittance. I was only twenty-two or twenty-three then, and -I devised a strictly private scheme of my own for Mr. Q.'s -discomfiture. All despatches received from the Foreign Office in -those days were kept folded in packets of ten, with a docket on each, -giving a summary of its contents. I prepared two despatches for Mr. -Q.'s private eye and, after much {313} cogitation, settled that they -should be about Afghanistan, which did not happen to be the -particular point in dispute between the two Governments at that time. -I also decided on a rhyming docket. It struck me as a pleasing -novelty, and I thought the jingle would impress itself on Mr. Q.'s -memory, for he was meant to see this bogus despatch. I took eight -sheets of foolscap, virgin, spotless, unblackened, folded them in the -orthodox fashion, and docketed them in a way I remember to this day. -It ran: first the particular year, then "Foreign Office No. 3527. -Secret and Confidential. Dated March 3. Received March 11." Then -came the rhyming docket, - - "General Kaufman's rumoured plan - To make Abdurrahman Khan - Ruler of Afghanistan." - -Under that I wrote in red ink in a different hand, with a fine pen, - -"_Urgent_. Instructions already acted on. See further instructions -re Afghanistan in No. 3534." - - -I was only twenty-two then, and my sense of responsibility was not -fully developed, or I should not have acted so flightily. It still -strikes me though as an irresistibly attractive baited hook to offer -to an inquisitive newspaperman. I grieve to say that I also wrote a -"fake" decypher of a purely apocryphal code telegram purporting to -have come from London. This was also on the subject of {314} -Afghanistan. It struck me at the time as a perfectly legitimate -thing to do, in order to throw this Paul Pry off the scent, for the -Ambassador had impressed on us all the vital importance of not -disclosing the real matter in dispute. I put these flagrant -forgeries in a drawer of my table and waited. I had not to wait -long. My colleagues having all gone out to luncheon, I was alone in -the Chancery one day, when Mr. Q.'s card was brought in to me. I -kept him waiting until I had cleared every single despatch from the -tables and had locked them up. I also locked up the Register, but -put an eight-year-old one, exactly similar in appearance, in its -place, opening it at a date two days earlier than the actual date, in -order that Mr. Q. might not notice that the page (and "to-morrow's" -page as well) was already filled up, and the bogus despatch and fake -telegram from my drawer were duly laid on the centre table. At -twenty-two I was a smooth-faced youth, in appearance, I believe, much -younger than my real age. Mr. Q. came in. He had the "Well, old -man" style, accompanied by a thump on the back, which I peculiarly -detest. He must have blessed his luck in finding such a simple youth -in sole charge of the Chancery. Mr. Q. pursued his usual tactics. -He talked volubly in a loud voice, walking about the room meanwhile. -The idiotic boy smoked cigarettes, and gaped inanely. Mr. Q. went as -usual to the window where the Register lay in order to admire the -view, and the pudding-brained youth noticed nothing, but lit {315} a -fresh cigarette. That young fool never saw that Mr. Paul Pry read -unblushingly half a column of the eight-year-old Register (How it -must have puzzled him!) under his very eyes. Mr. Q. then went to the -centre table, where he had, of course, noticed the two papers lying, -and proceeded to light a cigar. That cigar must have drawn very -badly, for Mr. Q. had occasion to light it again and again, bending -well over the table as he did so. He kept the unsuspicious youth -engaged in incessant conversation meanwhile. So careless and stupid -a boy ought never to have been left in charge of important documents. -Finally Mr. Q., having gained all the information for which he had -been thirsting so long, left in a jubilant frame of mind, perfectly -unconscious that he had been subjected to the slightest crural -tension. - -When the Councillor of Embassy returned, I made a clean breast of -what I had done, and showed him the bogus despatch and telegram I had -contrived. Quite rightly, I received a very severe reprimand. I was -warned against ever acting in such an irregular fashion again, under -the direst penalties. In extenuation, I pointed out to the -Councillor that the inquisitive Mr. Q. was now convinced that our -difficulty with Russia was over Afghanistan. - -I further added that should anyone be dishonourable enough to come -into the Chancery and deliberately read confidential documents which -he knew were not intended for his eye, I clearly could not {316} be -held responsible for any false impressions he might derive from -reading them. That, I was told sharply, was no excuse for my -conduct. After this "official wigging," the Councillor invited me to -dine with him that night, when we laughed loudly over Mr. Q.'s -discomfiture. That person became at length such a nuisance that "his -name was put on the gate," and he was refused admission to the -Embassy. - -The great London daily which Mr. Q. represented at Petrograd -published some strong articles on the grave menace to the Empire -which a change of rulers in Afghanistan might bring about; coupled -with Cassandra-like wails over the purblind British statesmen who -were wilfully shutting their eyes to this impending danger, as well -as to baneful Russian machinations on our Indian frontier. There -were also some unflattering allusions to Abdurrahman Khan. I, -knowing that the whole story had originated in my own brain, could -not restrain a chuckle whilst perusing these jeremiads. After -reading some particularly violent screed, the Councillor of Embassy -would shake his head at me. "This is more of your work, you wretched -boy!" After an interval of forty years this little episode can be -recounted without harm. - -Talking of newspaper enterprise, many years later, when the Emperor -Alexander III died, the editor of a well-known London evening paper, -a great friend of mine, told me in confidence of a journalistic -"scoop" he was meditating. Alexander III {317} had died at Livadia -in the Crimea, and his body was to make a sort of triumphal progress -through Russia. The editor (he is no longer with us, but when I term -him "Harry" I shall be revealing his identity to the few) was sending -out a Frenchman as special correspondent, armed with a goodly store -of roubles, and instructions to get himself engaged as temporary -assistant to the undertaker in charge of the Emperor's funeral. This -cost, I believe, a considerable sum, but the Frenchman, having -entered on his gruesome duties, was enabled to furnish the London -evening paper with the fullest details of all the funeral ceremonies. - -The reason the younger diplomats foregathered so in Petrograd was -that, as I said before, Petrograd was to all intents and purposes -extra-European. Apart from its charming society, the town, qua town, -offered but few resources. The younger Continental diplomats felt -the entire absence of cafés, of music-halls, and of places of light -entertainment very acutely; so they were thrown on each other's -society. In Far Eastern posts such as Pekin or Tokyo, the diplomats -live entirely amongst themselves. For a European, there are -practically no resources whatever in Tokyo. No one could possibly -wish to frequent a Japanese theatre, or a Japanese restaurant, when -once the novelty had worn off, and even Geisha entertainments are -deadly dull to one who cannot understand a word of the language. Let -us imagine a party of Europeans arriving at some fashionable {318} -Japanese restaurant for a Geisha entertainment. They will, of -course, remove their shoes before proceeding upstairs. I was always -unfortunate enough to find on these occasions one or more holes in my -socks gaping blatantly. In time one learns in Japan to subject one's -socks to a close scrutiny in order to make sure that they are intact, -for everyone must be prepared to remove his shoes at all hours of the -day. We will follow the Europeans up to a room on the upper floor, -tastefully arranged in Japanese fashion, and spotlessly neat and -clean. The temperature in this room in the winter months would be -Arctic, with three or four "fire-pots" containing a few specks of -mildly-glowing charcoal waging a futile contest against the -penetrating cold. - -The room is apparently empty, but from behind the sliding-panels -giggles and titters begin, gradually increasing in volume until the -panels slide back, and a number of self-conscious overdressed -children step into the room, one taking her place beside each guest. -These are "Micos"; little girls being trained as professional -Geishas. The European conception of a Geisha is a totally wrong one. -They are simply entertainers; trained singers, dancers, and -story-tellers. The guests seat themselves clumsily and uncomfortably -on the floor and the dinner begins. Japanese dishes are meant to -please the eye, which is fortunate, for they certainly do not appeal -to the palate. I invariably drew one of the big pots of flowers -which always {319} decorate these places close up to me, and -consigned to its kindly keeping all the delicacies of the Japanese -_cuisine_ which were beyond my assimilative powers, such as slices of -raw fish sprinkled with sugar, and seasoned with salted ginger. The -tiresome little Micos kept up an incessant chatter. Their stories -were doubtless extraordinarily humorous to anyone understanding -Japanese, but were apt to lose their point for those ignorant of the -language. The abortive attempts of the Europeans to eat with -chopsticks afforded endless amusement to these bedizened children; -they shook with laughter at seeing all the food slide away from these -unaccustomed table implements. Not till the dinner was over did the -Geishas proper make their appearance. In Japan the amount of bright -colour in a woman's dress varies in inverse ratio to her moral -rectitude. As our Geishas were all habited in sober mouse-colour, or -dull neutral-blue, I can only infer that they were ladies of the very -highest respectability. They were certainly wonderfully attractive -little people. They were not pretty according to our standards, but -there was a vivacity and a sort of air of dainty grace about them -that were very captivating. Their singing is frankly awful. I have -heard four-footed musicians on the London tiles produce sweeter -sounds, but their dancing is graceful to a degree. Unfortunately, -one of the favourite amusements of these charming and vivacious -little people is to play "Musical Chairs"--without any chairs! They -made all the {320} European men follow them round and round the room -whilst two Geishas thrummed on a sort of guitar. As soon as the -music stopped everyone was expected to sit down with a bang on the -floor, To these little Japs five feet high, the process was easy, and -may have seemed good fun; to a middle-aged gentleman, "vir pietate -gravis," these violent shocks were more than painful, and I failed to -derive the smallest amusement from them. No Japanese dinner would be -complete without copious miniature cups of sake. This rice-spirit is -always drunken hot; it is not disagreeable to the taste, being like -warm sherry with a dash of methylated spirit thrown in, but the -little sake bottles and cups are a joy to the eye. This innately -artistic people delight to lavish loving care in fashioning minute -objects; many English drawing-rooms contain sake bottles in enamel or -porcelain ranged in cabinets as works of art. Their form would be -more familiar to most people than their use. Japanese always seem to -look on a love of colour as showing rather vulgar tastes. The more -refined the individual, the more will he adhere to sober black and -white and neutral tints in his house and personal belongings. The -Emperor's palace in Kyoto is decorated entirely in black and white, -with unpainted, unlacquered woodwork, and no colour anywhere. The -Kyoto palace of the great Tokugawa family, on the other hand, a place -of astounding beauty, blazes with gilding, enamels, and lacquer, as -do all the tombs and temples erected by this dynasty. The Tokugawas -usurped power as {321} Shoguns in 1603, reducing the Mikado to a mere -figure-head as spiritual Ruler, and the Shoguns ruled Japan -absolutely until 1868, when they were overthrown, and Shogun and -Mikado were merged into one under the title of Emperor. I fancy that -the Japanese look upon the polychrome splendour of all the buildings -erected by the Tokugawas as proof that they were very inferior to the -ancient dynasty, who contented themselves with plain buildings -severely decorated in black and white. The lack of colour in Japan -is very noticeable on arriving from untidy, picturesque China. The -beautiful neatness and cleanliness of Japan are very refreshing after -slovenly China, but the endless rows of little brown, unpainted, tidy -houses, looking like so many rabbit hutches, are depressing to a -degree. The perpetual earthquakes are responsible for the low -elevation of these houses and also for their being invariably built -of wood, as is indeed everything else in the country. I was -immensely disappointed at the sight of the first temples I visited in -Japan. The forms were beautiful enough, but they were all of -unpainted wood, without any colour whatever, and looked horribly -neutral-tinted. All the famous temples of Kyoto are of plain, -unpainted, unvarnished wood. The splendid group of temples at Nikko -are the last word in Japanese art. They glow with colour; with -scarlet and black lacquer, gilding, enamels, and bronzes, every -detail finished like jewellers' work with exquisite craftmanship, and -they are amongst the most {322} beautiful things in the world; but -they were all erected by the Tokugawa dynasty, as were the equally -superb temples in the Shiba Park at Tokyo. This family seemed -determined to leave Japan less colourless than they found it; in -their great love for scarlet lacquer they must have been the first -people who thought of painting a town red. - -The same lack of colour is found in the gardens. I had pictured a -Japanese garden as a dream of beauty, so when I was shewn a heap of -stones interspersed with little green shrubs and dwarf trees, without -one single flower, I was naturally disappointed, nor had I sufficient -imagination to picture a streak of whitewash daubed down a rock as a -quivering cascade of foaming water. "Our gardens, sir," said my -host, "are not intended to inspire hilarit .. ee, but rather to -create a gentle melanchol .. ee." As regards myself, his certainly -succeeded in its object. - -A friend of mine, whose gardens, not a hundred miles from London, are -justly famous, takes immense pride in her Japanese garden, as she -fondly imagines it to be. At the time of King George's Coronation -she invited the special Japanese Envoys to luncheon, for the express -purpose of showing them her gardens afterwards. She kept the -Japanese garden to the last as a _bonne-bouche_, half-expecting these -children of the Land of the Rising Sun to burst into happy tears at -this reminder of their distant island home. The special Envoys -thanked her with true Japanese politeness, and loudly {323} expressed -their delight at seeing a real English garden. They added that they -had never even imagined anything like this in Japan, and begged for a -design of it, in order that they might create a real English garden -in their native land on their return home. - -As I have said, no Japanese woman can wear bright colours without -sacrificing her moral reputation, but little girls may wear all the -colours of the rainbow until they are eight years old or so. These -little girls, with their hair cut straight across their forehead, are -very attractive-looking creatures, whereas a Japanese boy, with his -cropped head, round face, and projecting teeth, is the most comically -hideous little object imaginable. These children's appearance is -spoilt by an objectionable superstition which decrees it unlucky to -use a pocket-handkerchief on a child until he, or she, is nine years -old. The result is unspeakably deplorable. - -The interior of our Embassy at Tokyo was rather a surprise. Owing to -the constant earthquakes in Tokyo and Yokohama, all the buildings -have to be of wood. The British Embassy was built in London (I -believe by a very well-known firm in Tottenham Court Road), and was -shipped out to Japan complete down to its last detail. The architect -who designed it unhappily took a glorified suburban villa as his -model. So the Tokyo Embassy house is an enlarged "Belmont," or "The -Cedars," or "Tokyo Towers." Every {324} familiar detail is there; -the tiled hall, the glazed door into the garden, and the heavy -mahogany chimneypieces and overmantels. In the library with its -mahogany book-cases, green morocco chairs, and green plush curtains, -it was difficult to realise that one was not in Hampstead or Upper -Tooting. I always felt that I was quite out of the picture unless I -sallied forth at 9 a.m. with a little black bag in my hand, and -returned at 6 p.m. with some fish in a bass-basket. In spite of -being common-place, the house was undeniably comfortable. Everything -Japanese was rigidly excluded from it. That in far-off lands is very -natural. People do not care to be reminded perpetually of the -distance they are away from home. In Calcutta the Maidan, the local -Hyde Park, has nothing Eastern about it. Except in the Eden Gardens -in one corner of it, where there is a splendid tangle of tropical -vegetation, there is not one single palm tree on the Maidan. The -broad sweeps of turf, clumps of trees, and winding roads make an -excellent imitation of Hyde Park transferred to the banks of the -Hooghly, and this is intentional. There is one spot in particular, -where the tall Gothic spire of St. Paul's Cathedral rises out of a -clump of trees beyond a great tank (it may be pointed out that "tank" -in India does not refer to a clumsy, mobile engine of destruction, -but is the word used for a pool or pond), which might be in -Kensington Gardens but for the temperature. The average Briton likes -to be reminded of his home, and generally manages to carry {325} it -about with him somehow. The Russian Embassy at Tokyo had been built -in the same way in Paris and sent out, and was a perfect reproduction -of a French Louis XV house. The garden of the British Embassy had -one striking feature which I have seen nowhere else; hedges of -clipped camellias, four feet high. When these blossomed in the -spring, they looked like solid walls of pink, crimson, or white -flowers, a really beautiful sight! - -Some former British Minister had planted the public roads round the -Embassy with avenues of the pink-flowering cherry, as a present to -the city of Tokyo. The Japanese affect to look down on the pink -cherry, when compared to their adored white cherry-blossom, I suppose -because there is colour in it. Certainly the acres of white -cherry-blossom in the Uyeno Park at Tokyo are one of the sights of -Japan. In no other country in the world would the railways run -special trains to enable the country-people to see the cherries in -full bloom in this Uyeno Park. The blossom is only supposed to be at -its best for three days. In no other country either would people -flock by hundreds to a temple, as they did at Kyoto, to look at a -locally-famed contrast of red plum-blossom against dark-brown maple -leaves. I liked these Japanese country-people. The scrupulously -neat old peasant women, with their grey hair combed carefully back, -and their rosy faces, were quite attractive. Their intense -ceremonious politeness to each other always amused me. Whole family -parties would continue {326} bowing to each other for ten minutes on -end at railway stations, sucking their breath, and rubbing their -knees. When they had finished, someone would recommence, and the -whole process would have to be gone through again, the children -sucking their breath louder even than their elders. Anybody who has -lived in a warm climate must be familiar with the curious sound of -thousands of frogs croaking at once in a pond or marsh at night-time. -The sound of hundreds of Japanese wooden clogs clattering against the -tiles of a railway platform is exactly like that. In the big -Shimbashi station at Tokyo, as the clogs pattered over the tiles, by -shutting my eyes I could imagine that I was listening to a frogs' -orchestra in some large marsh. - -Excessive politeness brings at times its own penalty. At the -beginning of these reminiscences I have related how I went with a -Special Embassy to Rome in my extreme youth. The day before our -departure from Rome, King Humbert gave a farewell luncheon party at -the Quirinal to the Special British Ambassador and his suite, -including of course myself. At this luncheon a somewhat comical -incident occurred. - -When we took our leave, Queen Margherita, then still radiantly -beautiful, offered her hand first to the Special British Ambassador. -He, a courtly and gallant gentleman of the old school, at once -dropped on one knee, in spite of his age, and kissed the Queen's hand -"in the grand manner." The permanent British Ambassador, the late -Sir Augustus Paget, {327} most courteous and genial of men, followed -his temporary colleague's example, and also dropped on one knee. The -Italian Ministers present could not do less than follow the lead of -the foreigners, or show themselves less courteous than the -_forestieri_, so they too had perforce to drop on one knee whilst -kissing the Queen's hand. A hugely obese Minister, buttoned into the -tightest of frockcoats, approached the Queen. With immense -difficulty he lowered himself on to one knee, and kissed the Royal -hand; but no power on earth seemed equal to raising him to his feet -again. The corpulent Minister grew purple in the face; the most -ominous sounds of the rending of cloth and linen re-echoed through -the room; but still he could not manage to rise. The Queen held out -her hand to assist her husband's adipose adviser to regain his feet, -but he was too dignified, or too polite, to accept it. The rending -of the statesman's most intimate garments became more audible than -ever; the portly Minister seemed on the verge of an attack of -apoplexy. It must be understood that the Queen was standing alone -before the throne, with this unfortunate dignitary kneeling before -her; the remainder of the guests were standing in a semi-circle some -twenty feet away. The Queen's mouth began to twitch ominously, -until, in spite of her self-control, after a few preliminary -splutters of involuntary merriment, she broke down, and absolutely -shook with laughter. Sir Augustus Paget and a Roman Prince came up -and saved the situation by raising, with infinite difficulty, the -unfortunate {328} Italian statesman to his feet. As he resumed a -standing position, a perfect Niagara of oddments of apparel, of tags -and scraps of his most private under-garments, rained upon the floor, -and we all experienced a feeling of intense relief when this capable, -if corpulent, Cabinet Minister was enabled to regain the background -with all his clothing outwardly intact. - -And all this came about from an excess of politeness. The East has -always been the land of flowery compliments, also the land of -hyperbole. I once saw the answer the Viceroy of India had received -from a certain tributary Prince, who had been reprimanded in the -sharpest fashion by the Government of India. The native Prince had -been warned in the bluntest of language that unless he mended his -ways at once he would be forthwith deposed, and another ruler put in -his place. A list of his recent enormities was added, in order to -refresh his memory, and the warning as to the future was again -emphasized. The Prince's answer, addressed direct to the Viceroy, -began as follows: - -"Your Excellency's gracious message has reached me. It was more -precious to the eyes than a casket of rubies; sweeter to the taste -than a honeycomb; more delightful to the ears than the song of ten -thousand nightingales. I spread it out before me, and read it -repeatedly: each time with renewed pleasure." - -Considering the nature of the communication, that native Prince must -have been of a touchingly grateful disposition. - -{329} - -The late Duke of Edinburgh was once presented with an address at Hong -Kong from the Corporation of Chinese Merchants, in which he was told, -amongst other things, that he "was more glorious than a phoenix -sitting in a crimson nest with fourteen golden tails streaming behind -him." Surely a charming flight of fancy! - -True politeness in China demands that you should depreciate -everything of your own and exalt everything belonging to your -correspondent. Thus, should you be asking a friend to dinner, you -would entreat him "to leave for one evening the silver and alabaster -palace in which you habitually dwell, and to condescend to honour the -tumble-down vermin-ridden hovel in which I drag out a wretched -existence. Furthermore, could you forget for one evening the -bird's-nest soup, the delicious sea-slugs, and the plump puppy-dogs -on which you habitually feast, and deign to poke your head into my -swill-trough, and there devour such loathsome garbage as a starving -dog would reject, I shall feel unspeakably honoured." The answer -will probably come in some such form as this: "With rapturous delight -have I learnt that, thanks to your courtesy, I may escape from the -pestilential shanty I inhabit, and pass one unworthy evening in a -glorious palace of crystal and gold in your company. After starving -for months on putrid offal, I shall at length banquet on unimagined -delicacies, etc." Should it be a large dinner-party, it must tax the -host's ingenuity to vary the self-depreciatory epithets sufficiently. - -{330} - -The mention of food reminds me that it is an acute difficulty to the -stranger in Japan, should he wander off the beaten track and away -from European hotels. Japanese use neither bread, butter, nor milk, -and these things, as well as meat, are unprocurable in country -districts. Europeans miss bread terribly, and the Japanese -substitute of cold rice is frankly horrible. Instead of the snowy -piles of smoking-hot, beautifully cooked rice of India, rice in Japan -means a cold, clammy, gelatinous mass, hideously distasteful to a -European interior. That, eggs, and tea like a decoction of hay -constitute the standard menu of a Japanese country inn. I never saw -either a sheep or cow in Japan, as there is no pasture. The -universal bamboo-grass, with its sharp edges, pierces the intestines -of any animal feeding on it, and so is worse than useless as fodder -for cattle or sheep. All milk and butter are imported in a frozen -state from Australia, but do not, of course, penetrate beyond -Europe-fashion hotels, as the people of the country do not care for -them. - -The exquisite neatness of Japanese farm houses, with their black and -white walls, thatched roofs, and trim little bamboo fences and gates, -is a real joy to the eye of one who has grown accustomed to the -slipshod untidy East, or even to the happy-go-lucky methods of the -American Continent. I never remember a Japanese village unequipped -with either electric light or telephones. I really think geographers -must have placed the 180th degree in the wrong place, and that Japs -are really {331} the most Western of Westerns, instead of being the -most Eastern of Easterns. Pretty and attractive as the Japanese -country is, its charm was spoilt for me by the almost total absence -of bird and animal life. There are hardly any wild flowers either, -except deliciously fragrant wild violets. Being in Japan, it is -hardly necessary to say that these violets, instead of being of the -orthodox colour, are bright yellow. They would be in Japan. This -quaint people who only like trees when they are contorted, who love -flowerless gardens, whose grass kills cattle, who have evolved peach, -plum and cherry trees which flower gloriously but never bear any -fruit, would naturally have yellow violets. They are certainly a -wonderfully hardy race. I was at beautiful Nikko in the early spring -when they were building a dam across the Nikko river. The stream has -a tremendous current, and is ice-cold. Men were working at the dam -up to their waists in the icy river, and little boys kept bringing -them baskets of building stones, up to their necks in the swift -current. Both men and boys issued from the river as scarlet as -lobsters from the intense cold, and yet they stood about quite -unconcernedly in their dripping thin cotton clothes in the keen wind. -Had they been Europeans, they would all have died of pneumonia in two -days' time. A race must have great powers of endurance that live in -houses with paper walls without any heating appliances during the -sharp cold of a Japanese winter, and that find thin cotton clothing -sufficient for their wants. - -{332} - -The outlines and pleasing details of those black and white country -dwellings with the graceful curves of their roofs are a relief to the -eye after the endless miles of ugly little brown rabbit hutches of -the towns. At Tokyo the enclosure and park of the Emperor's palace -lay just outside the gates of our Embassy, surrounded by a moat so -broad that it could be almost called a lake. It was curious in the -heart of a town to see this moat covered with innumerable wild duck. -Although I have been in the Imperial palace at Kyoto, I was never -inside the one at Tokyo, so I cannot give any details about it. The -glimpses one obtained from outside of its severe black and white -outlines recalled a European mediæval castle, and had something -strangely familiar about them. I was never fortunate enough either -to be invited to an Imperial duck-catching party, which I would have -given anything to witness. The idea of catching wild duck in -butterfly nets would never occur to anyone but the Japanese. The -place where this quaint amusement was indulged in was an extensive -tract of flat ground intersected by countless reed-fringed little -canals and waterways, much on the lines of a marsh in the Norfolk -Broad district. I saw the Ambassador on his return from a -duck-catching party. With superhuman efforts, and a vast amount of -exercise, he had managed to capture three ducks, and he told me that -he had had to run like a hare to achieve even this modest success. -All the guests were expected to appear in high hats and frock-coats -{333} on these occasions, and I should have dearly loved to see the -Ambassador arrayed in frock-coat and high hat bounding hot-foot over -the marshes, his butterfly net poised aloft, in pursuit of his -quacking quarry. The newspapers informed us the next day that the -Crown Prince had headed the list as usual with a bag of twenty-seven -ducks, and I always believe what I see in print. Really Europeans -start heavily handicapped at this peculiar diversion. I have known -many families in England where the sons of the house are instructed -from a very early age in riding, and in the art of handling a gun and -a trout rod, but even in the most sport-loving British families the -science of catching wild duck in butterfly nets forms but seldom part -of the sporting curriculum of the rising generation. Though the -Imperial family are Shintoists, I expect that the Buddhist horror of -taking animal life is at the bottom of this idea of duck-catching, -for the ducks are, I believe, all set free again after their capture. - -We always heard that the Emperor and his family lived entirely on -rice and fish in the frugal Japanese fashion, and that they never -tasted meat. - -I had the opportunity of seeing a very fine house of sixty rooms, -built in strict Japanese style, and just completed. Count Mitsu is -one of the few very wealthy men in Japan; he can also trace his -pedigree back for three thousand years. He had built this house in -Tokyo, and as it was supposed to be the last word in purity of style -("Itchi-Ban," or "Number One," as the Japanese express it), he very -{334} kindly invited the ambassador and myself to go all over it with -him. We had, of course, to remove our shoes on entering, and my -pleasure was somewhat marred by the discovery of a large hole in one -sock, on which I fancied the gaze of the entire Mitsu family was -riveted. Nothing can equal the high-bred courtesy and politeness of -Japanese of really ancient lineage. Countess Mitsu, of a family as -old as her husband's, had a type of face which we do not usually -associate with Japan, and is only found in ladies of the Imperial -family and some others equally old. In place of the large head, full -cheeks, and flat features of the ordinary Japanese woman, Countess -Mitsu and her daughters had thin faces with high aquiline features, -giving them an extraordinarily high-bred and distinguished -appearance. This great house consisted of a vast number of perfectly -empty rooms, destitute of one single scrap of furniture. There was -fine matting on the floor, a niche with one kakemono hanging in it, -one bronze or other work of art, and a vase with one single flower, -and nothing else whatever. The Mitsus being a very high caste -family, there was no colour anywhere. The decoration was confined to -black and white and beautifully-finished, unpainted, unvarnished -woodwork, except for the exquisitely chased bronze door-grips -(door-handles would be an incorrect term for these grips to open and -close the sliding panels). I must confess that I never saw a more -supremely uncomfortable-looking dwelling in my life. The children's -nurseries upstairs {335} were a real joy. The panels had been -painted by a Japanese artist with everything calculated to amuse a -child. There were pictures of pink and blue rabbits, purple frogs, -scarlet porcupines, and grass-green guinea-pigs, all with the most -comical expressions imaginable on their faces. The lamps were of -fish-skin shaped over thin strips of bamboo into the form of the -living fish, then highly coloured, and fitted with electric globes -inside them; weird, luminous marine monsters! Each child had a -little Chinese dressing-table of mother-of-pearl eighteen inches -high, and a tub of real Chinese "powder-blue" porcelain as a bath. -The windows looked on to a fascinating dwarf garden ten feet square, -with real waterfalls, tiny rivers of real water, miniature mountains -and dwarf trees, all in perfect proportion. It was like looking at -an extensive landscape through the wrong end of a telescope. - -The polite infants who inhabited this child's paradise received us -with immense courtesy, lying at full length on the floor on their -little tummies, and wagging their little heads in salutation, till I -really thought they would come off. - -The most interesting thing in Count Mitsu's house was a beautiful -little Shinto temple of bronze-gold lacquer, where all the names of -his many ancestors were inscribed on gilt tablets. Here he and all -his sons (women take no part in ancestor worship) came nightly, and -made a full confession before the tablets of their ancestors of all -they had done during the day; craving for pardon should {336} they -have acted in a fashion unworthy of their family and of Japan. The -Count and his sons then lighted the little red lamps before the -tablets of their forebears to show that they were not forgotten, and -placed the exquisitely carved little ivory "ghost-ship" two inches -long in its place, should any of their ancestors wish to return that -night from the Land of Spirits to their old home. - -The underlying idea of undying family affection is rather a beautiful -one. - -That same evening I went to a very interesting dinner-party at the -house of Prince Arisugawa, a son-in-law of the Emperor's. Both the -dinner and the house were on European lines, but the main point of -interest was that it was a gathering of all the Generals and Admirals -who had taken a prominent part in the Russo-Japanese war. I was -placed between an Admiral and a General, but found it difficult to -communicate with them, Japanese being conspicuously bad linguists. -The General could speak a little fairly unintelligible German; the -Admiral could stutter a very little Russian. It was a pity that the -roads of communication were so blocked for us, for I shall probably -never again sit between two men who had had such thrilling -experiences. I cursed the builders of the Tower of Babel for -erecting this linguistic barrier between us. - -I found that I was a full head taller than all the Japanese in the -room. Princess Arisugawa appeared later. This tiny, dainty, -graceful little lady {337} had the same strongly aquiline type of -features as Countess Mitsu, and the same high-bred look of -distinction. She was beautifully dressed in European style, and had -Rue de la Paix written all over her clothes and her jewels. I have -seldom seen anyone with such taking graceful dignity as this daughter -of the Imperial house, in spite of her diminutive stature. - -The old families in Japan have a pretty custom of presenting every -European guest with a little black-and-gold lacquer box, two inches -high, full of sweetmeats, of the sort we called in my youth "hundreds -and thousands." These little boxes bear on their tops in gold -lacquer the badge or crest of the family, thus serving as permanent -souvenirs. - -In a small community such as the European diplomats formed at Tokyo, -the peculiarities and foibles of the "chers collègues" formed -naturally an unending topic of conversation. There was one foreign -representative who was determined to avoid bankruptcy, could the most -rigorously careful regulation of his expenditure avert such a -catastrophe. His official position forced him to give occasional -dinner-parties, much, I imagine, against his inclinations. He -always, in the winter months, borrowed all the available oil-stoves -from his colleagues and friends, when one of these festivities was -contemplated, in order to warm his official residence without having -to go to the expense of fires. He had in some mad fit of -extravagance bought two dozen of {338} a really fine claret some -years before. The wine had long since been drunk; the bottles he -still retained _with their labels_. It was his custom to buy the -cheapest and roughest red wine he could find, and then enshrine it in -these old bottles with their mendacious labels. At his -dinner-parties these time-worn bottles were always ranged down the -tables. The evidence of palate and eye was conflicting. The palate -(as far as it could discriminate through the awful reek with which -the oil-stoves filled the room), pronounced it sour, immature _vin -ordinaire_. The label on the bottle proclaimed it Château Margaux of -1874, actually bottled at the Château itself. Politeness dictated -that we should compliment our host on this exquisite vintage, which -had, perhaps, begun to feel (as we all do) the effects of extreme old -age. A cynical Dutch colleague might possibly hazard a few remarks, -lamenting the effects of the Japanese climate on "les premiers crus -de Bordeaux." - -Life at any post would be dull were it not for the little failings of -the "chers collègues," which always give one something to talk of. - -The Japanese are ruining the beauty of their country by their insane -mania for advertising. The railways are lined with advertisements; a -beautiful hillside is desecrated by a giant advertisement, cut in the -turf, and filled in with white concrete. Even the ugly little -streets of brown packing-cases are plastered with advertisements. -The fact that these advertisements are all in Chinese characters -{339} give them a rather pleasing exotic flavour at first; that soon -wears off, and then one is only too thankful not to be able to read -them. They remain a hideous disfigurement of a fair land. - -One large Japanese-owned department store in Tokyo had a brass band -playing in front of it all day, producing an ear-splitting din. The -bandsmen were little Japanese boys dressed, of all things in the -world, as Highlanders. No one who has not seen it can imagine the -intensely grotesque effect of a little stumpy, bandy-legged Jap boy -in a red tartan kilt, bare knees, and a Glengarry bonnet. No one who -has not heard them can conceive the appalling sounds they produced -from their brass instruments, or can form any conception of the -Japanese idea of "rag-time." - -We have in this country some very competent amateurs who, to judge -from the picture papers, have reduced the gentle art of -self-advertisement to a science. - -I think these ladies would be repaid for the trouble of a voyage to -Japan by the new ideas in advertisement they would pick up from that -enterprising people. They need not blow their own trumpets, like the -little Jap Highlander bandsmen; they can get it done for them as they -know, by the Press. - - - - -{340} - -CHAPTER XI - -Petrograd through middle-aged eyes--Russians very constant -friends--Russia an Empire of shams--Over-centralisation in -administration--The system hopeless--A complete change of scene--The -West Indies--Trinidad--Personal Character of Nicholas II--The weak -point in an Autocracy--The Empress--An opportunity missed--The Great -Collapse--Terrible stories--Love of human beings for ceremonial--Some -personal apologies--Conclusion. - - -I returned twice to Petrograd in later years, the last occasion being -in 1912. A young man is generally content with the surface of -things, and accepts them at their face value, without attempting to -probe deeper. With advancing years comes the desire to test beneath -the surface. To the eye, there is but little difference between -electro-plate and solid silver, though one deep scratch on the -burnished expanse of the former is sufficient to reveal the baser -metal underlying it. - -Things Russian have for some reason always had a strange attraction -for me, and their glamour had not departed even after so many years. -It was pleasant, too, to hear the soft, sibilant Russian tongue -again. My first return visit was at mid-summer, and seeing Peter's -City wreathed in the tender vivid greenery of Northern foliage, and -bathed in sunshine, I wondered how I could ever {341} have mentally -labelled it with the epithet "dreary." Rising from the clear -swift-rushing waters of the many-channelled Neva, its stately -pillared classical buildings outlined through the soft golden haze in -half-tones of faintest cobalt and rose-madder, this Northern Venice -appeared a dream-city, almost unreal in its setting of blue waters -and golden domes, lightly veiled in opal mist. - -Russians are not as a rule long-lived, and the great majority of my -old friends had passed away. I could not help being affected by the -manner in which the survivors amongst them welcomed me back. "Cher -ami," said the bearer of a great Russian name to me, "thirty-three -years ago we adopted you as a Russian. You were a mere boy then, you -are now getting an old man, but as long as any of your friends of old -days are alive, our houses are always open to you, and you will -always find a place for you at our tables, without an invitation. We -Russians do not change, and we never forget our old friends. We know -that you like us and our country, and my husband and I offer you all -we have." No one could fail to be touched by such steadfast -friendship, so characteristic of these warm-hearted people. - -The great charm of Russians with three or four hundred years of -tradition behind them is their entire lack of pretence and their -hatred of shams. They are absolutely natural. They often gave me as -their reason for disliking foreigners the artificiality of -non-Russians, though they expressly {342} exempted our own -nationality from this charge. That is, I think, the reason why most -Englishmen get on so well with educated Russians. - -Seeing Petrograd with the wearied eyes of experienced middle age, I -quite realised that the imposing palaces that front the line of the -quays and seem almost to float on the Neva, are every one of them -built on piles, driven deep into the marshy subsoil. Every single -house in the city rests on the same artificial base. Montferrand the -Frenchman's great cathedral of St. Isaac has had its north front -shored up by scaffolding for thirty years. Otherwise it would have -collapsed, as the unstable subsoil is unable to bear so great a -burden. On the Highest Authority we know that only a house built on -the rock can endure. This city of Petrograd was built on a quagmire, -and was typical, in that respect, of the vast Empire of which it was -the capital: an Empire erected by Peter on shifting sand. The whole -fabric of this Empire struck my maturer senses as being one gigantic -piece of "camouflage." - -For instance, a building close to St. Isaac's bears on its stately -front the inscription "Governing Senate" (I may add that the terse, -crisp Russian for this is "Pravitelsvouyuschui Senat"). To an -ordinary individual the term would seem to indicate what it says; he -would be surprised to learn that, so far from "governing," the Senate -had neither legislative nor administrative powers of its own. It was -merely a consultative body without {343} any delegate initiative; -only empowered to recommend steps for carrying into effect the orders -it received. - -And so with many other things. There were imposing façades, with -awe-inspiring inscriptions, but I had a curious feeling that -everything stopped at the façade, and there was nothing behind it. - -Students of history will remember how, on the occasion of Catherine -the Great's visit to the Crimea, her favourite, Potemkin, had -"camouflage" villages erected along the line of her progress, so that -wherever she went she found merry peasants (specially selected from -the Imperial theatres) singing and dancing amidst flower-wreathed -cottages. These villages were then taken down, and re-erected some -fifty miles further along the Empress's way, with the same -inhabitants. It was really a triumph of "camouflage," and did great -credit to Potemkin's inventive faculty. Catherine returned North -with most agreeable recollections of the teeming population of the -Crimea; of its delightfully picturesque villages, and of the ideal -conditions of life prevailing there. - -The whole Russian Empire appeared to my middle-aged eyes to be like -Potemkin's toy villages. - -My second later visit to Petrograd was in 1912, in midwinter, when I -came to the unmistakable conclusion that the epithet "dreary" was not -misplaced. The vast open spaces and broad streets with their scanty -traffic were unutterably depressing during the short hours of -uncertain daylight, {344} whilst the whirling snowflakes fell -incessantly, and the low, leaden sky pressed like a heavy pall over -this lifeless city of perpetual twilight. - -The particular business on which I had gone to Petrograd took me -daily to the various Ministries, and their gloomy interiors became -very familiar to me. - -I then saw that in these Ministries the impossible had been attempted -in the way of centralisation. The principle of the Autocracy had -been carried into the administrative domain, and every trivial detail -affecting the government of an Empire stretching from the Pacific to -the Baltic was in theory controlled by one man, the Minister of the -Department concerned. Russians are conspicuously lacking in -initiative and in organising power. The lack of initiative is -perhaps the necessary corollary of an Autocracy, for under an -Autocracy it would be unsafe for any private individual to show much -original driving power: and organisation surely means successful -delegation. A born organiser chooses his subordinates with great -care; having chosen them, he delegates certain duties to them, and as -long as they perform these duties to his satisfaction he does not -interfere with them. The Russian system was just the reverse: -everything was nominally concentrated in the hands of one man. A -really able and zealous Minister might possibly have settled a -hundredth part of the questions daily submitted for his personal -decision. It required no great political foresight to understand -{345} that, were this administrative machine subjected to any unusual -strain, it would collapse into hopeless confusion. - -Being no longer young, I found the penetrating damp cold of Petrograd -very trying. The airlessness too of the steam-heated and -hermetically sealed houses affected me. I had, in any case, intended -to proceed to the West Indies as soon as my task in Petrograd was -concluded. As my business occupied a far longer time than I had -anticipated, I determined to go direct to London from Petrograd, stay -two nights there, and then join the mail steamer for the West Indies. - -Thus it came about that I was drinking my morning coffee in a room of -the British Embassy at Petrograd, looking through the double windows -at the driving snowflakes falling on the Troitsky Square, at the -frozen hummocks of the Neva, and at the sheepskin-clothed peasants -plodding through the fresh-fallen snowdrifts, whilst the grey -cotton-wool sky seemed to press down almost on to the roofs of the -houses, and the golden needle of the Fortress Church gleamed dully -through the murky atmosphere. Three weeks afterwards to a day, I was -sitting in the early morning on a balcony on the upper floor of -Government House, Trinidad, clad in the lightest of pyjamas, enjoying -the only approach to coolness to be found in that sultry island. The -balcony overlooked the famous Botanic Gardens which so enraptured -Charles Kingsley. In front of me rose a gigantic Saman tree, larger -than {346} any oak, one mass of tenderest green, and of tassels of -silky pink blossoms. At dawn, the dew still lay on those blossoms, -and swarms of hummingbirds, flashing living jewels of ruby, sapphire, -and emerald, were darting to and fro taking their toll of the nectar. -The nutmeg trees were in flower, perfuming the whole air, and the -fragrance of a yellow tree-gardenia, an importation from West Africa, -was almost overpowering. The chatter of the West Indian negroes, and -of the East Indian coolies employed in the Botanic Gardens, replaced -the soft, hissing Russian language, and over the gorgeous tropical -tangle of the gardens the Venezulean mountains of the mainland rose -mistily blue across the waters of the Gulf of Paria. I do not -believe that in three short weeks it would be possible to find a -greater change in climatic, geographical, or social conditions. From -a temperature of 5° below zero to 94° in the shade; from the Gulf of -Finland to the Spanish Main; from snow and ice to the exuberant -tropical vegetation of one of the hottest islands in the world! The -change, too, from the lifeless, snow-swept streets of Petrograd, -monotonously grey in the sad-coloured Northern winter daylight, to -the gaily painted bungalows of the white inhabitants of the -Port-of-Spain, standing in gardens blazing with impossibly brilliant -flowers of scarlet, orange, and vivid blue, quivering under the -fierce rays of the sun, was sufficiently startling. The only flowers -I have ever seen to rival the garish rainbow brilliance of the -gardens of Port-of-Spain {347} were the painted ones in the -"Zauber-Garten" in the second act of "Parsifal," as given at Bayreuth. - -It so happened that when Nicholas II visited India in 1890 as -Heir-Apparent, I stayed in the same house with him for ten days, and -consequently saw a great deal of him. He was, I am convinced, a most -conscientious man, intensely anxious to fulfill his duty to the -people he would one day rule; but he was inconstant of purpose, and -his intellectual equipment was insufficient for his responsibilities. -The fatal flaw in an Autocracy is that everything obviously hinges on -the personal character of the Autocrat. It would be absurd to expect -an unbroken series of rulers of first-class ability. It is, I -suppose, for this reason that the succession to the Russian throne -was, in theory at all events, not hereditary. The Tsars of old -nominated their successors, and I think I am right in saying that the -Emperors still claimed the privilege. In fact, to set any -limitations to the power of an Autocrat would be a contradiction in -terms. - -Nicholas II was always influenced by those surrounding him, and it -cannot be said that he chose his associates with much discretion. -There was, in particular, one fatal influence very near indeed to -him. From those well qualified to judge, I hear that it is unjust to -accuse the Empress of being a Germanophile, or of being in any way a -traitor to the interests of her adopted country. She was obsessed -with one idea: to hand on the Autocracy intact to her idolised little -son, and she had, in addition, a {348} great love of power. When the -love of power takes possession of a woman, it seems to change her -whole character, and my own experience is that no woman will ever -voluntarily surrender one scrap of that power, be the consequences -what they may. When to a naturally imperious nature there is joined -a neurotic, hysterical temperament, the consequences can be -disastrous. The baneful influence of the obscene illiterate monk -Rasputin over the Empress is a matter of common knowledge, and she, -poor woman, paid dearly enough for her faults. I always think that -Nicholas II missed the great opportunity of his life on that fateful -Sunday, January 22, 1905, when thousands of workmen, headed by Father -Gapon (who subsequently proved to be an agent provocateur in the pay -of the police), marched to the Winter Palace and clamoured for an -interview with their Emperor. Had Nicholas II gone out entirely -alone to meet the deputations, as I feel sure his father and -grandfather would have done, I firmly believe that it would have -changed the whole course of events; but his courage failed him. A -timid Autocrat is self-condemned. Instead of meeting their -Sovereign, the crowd were met by machine-guns. In 1912, Nicholas II -had only slept one night in Petrograd since his accession, and the -Empress had only made day visits. Not even the Ambassadresses had -seen the Empress for six years, and there had been no Court -entertainments at all. - -{349} - -The Imperial couple remained in perpetual seclusion at Tsarskoe Selo. - -In my days, Alexander II was constantly to be seen driving in the -streets of Petrograd entirely alone and unattended, without any -escort whatever. The only things that marked out his sledge were the -two splendid horses (the one in shafts, the loose "pristashka" -galloping alongside in long traces), and the kaftan of his coachman, -which was green instead of the universal blue of public and private -carriages alike. - -The low mutterings of the coming storm were very audible in 1912. -Personally, I thought the change would take the form of a "Palace -Revolution," so common in Russian history; _i.e._, that the existing -Sovereign would be dethroned and another installed in his place. - -I cannot say how thankful I am that so few of my old friends lived to -see the final collapse, and that they were spared the agonies of -witnessing the subsequent orgies of murder, spoliation, and lust that -overwhelmed the unhappy land and deluged it in blood. - -Horrible stories have reached us of a kindly, white-headed old couple -being imprisoned for months in a narrow cell of the Fortress, and -then being taken out at dawn, and butchered without trial; of a -highly cultivated old lady of seventy-six being driven from her bed -by the mob, and thrust into the bitter cold of a Petrograd street in -January, in her night-dress, and there clubbed to death in {350} the -snow. God grant that these stories may be untrue; the evidence, -though, is terribly circumstantial, and from Russia comes only an -ominous silence. - -If I am asked what will be the eventual outcome in Russia, I hazard -no prophecies. The strong vein of fatalism in the Russian character -must be taken into consideration, also the curious lack of -initiative. They are a people who revel in endless futile talk, and -love to get drunk on words and phrases. Eighty per cent. of the -population are grossly ignorant peasants, living in isolated -communities, and I fail to see how they can take any combined action. -It must be remembered that, with the exception of Lenin, the men who -have grasped the reins of power are not Russians, but Jews, mainly of -German or Polish origin. They do not, therefore, share the fatal -inertness of the Russian temperament. - -I started with the idea of giving some description of a state of -things which has, perhaps, vanished for all time from what were five -years ago the three great Empires of Eastern Europe. - -There is, I think, inherent in all human beings a love of ceremonial. -The great influence the Roman and Eastern Churches exercise over -their adherents is due, I venture to say, in a great measure to their -gorgeous ceremonial. In proof of this, I would instance lands where -a severer form of religion prevails, and where this innate love of -ceremonial finds its rest in the elaborate ritual of Masonic and -kindred bodies, since it is denied it in ecclesiastical matters. The -reason that Buddhism, {351} imported from China into Japan in the -sixth century, succeeded so largely in ousting Shintoism, the ancient -national religion, was that there is neither ritual nor ceremonial in -a Shinto temple, and the complicated ceremonies of Buddhism supplied -this curious craving in human nature, until eventually Buddhism and -Shintoism entered into a sort of ecclesiastical partnership together. - -I have far exceeded the limits which I started by assigning to myself -and, in extenuation, can only plead that old age is proverbially -garrulous. I am also fully conscious that I have at times strayed -far from my subject, but in excuse I can urge that but few people -have seen, in five different continents, as much of the surface of -this globe and of its inhabitants as it has fallen to my lot to do. -Half-forgotten incidents, irrelevant it may be to the subject in -hand, crowd back to the mind, and tempt one far afield. It is quite -possible that these bypaths of reminiscence, though interesting to -the writer, may prove wearisome to the reader, so for them I tender -my apologies. - -I have endeavoured to transfer to others pictures which remain very -clear-cut and vivid in my own mind. I cannot tell whether I have -succeeded in doing this, and I hazard no opinion as to whether the -world is a gainer or a loser by the disappearance of the pomp and -circumstance, the glitter and glamour of the three great Courts of -Eastern Europe. - -The curtain has been rung down, perhaps {352} definitely, on the -brave show. The play is played; the scenery set for the great -spectacle is either ruined or else wantonly destroyed; the puppets -who took part in the brilliant pageant are many of them (God help -them!) broken beyond power of repair.--_Finita la commedia!_ - - - - -{355} - -INDEX - -A - -Abdurrahman Khan, 316 - -A deaf diplomat, 32 - -Aehrenthal, Baron von, 306, 308, 309 - -Agra Palace, India, 186 - -A journalist outwitted, 310 - -Akbar, 186 - -Albuquerque, 237 - -Alexander II, 116; attempted assassination of, in 1880, 125, -assassination of, 157 _sqq._; sorrow of the people for, 159; funeral -of, 159 _sqq._; King Edward and Queen Alexandra at, 162, 208, 349. - -Alexander III, Order of the Garter conferred on, 162 _sqq._; -precautions for safety of, 164, 189. - -Alexandra Colony, 269 _sqq._ - -Ali Pasha and the Congress of Berlin, 1878, 66. - -Alsace, 15 - -Ampthill, Lady, 27; saves the life of William II, 73 - -Ampthill, Lord, 26 - -Andrassy, Count, and the Congress of Berlin, 1878, 66 - -An embarrassing situation, 114 - -An exclusive Court, 63 - -Arabi Pasha, 201, 204 - -Argentine girls, beauty of, 260 - -Aristocratic waitresses, 24-25 - -Arisugawa, Prince, 336 - -Arisugawa, Princess, 336 - -Asuncion, 276 _sqq._ - -Augusta, Empress, 34 - -Austria, disappearance of the Court, 13 - -Austrian aristocracy, characteristics of, 49; interrelationship of, 50 - -Austrian diplomat, a deaf, 32 - -Awkward predicament, an, 137-138 - - - -B - -Bahia, 240 - -Barmecides' feast, a, 25 - -Bay of Chaleurs, 300 - -Beaconsfield, Lord, and the Congress of Berlin, 1878, 66, 67 - -Bear hunt in Russia, a, 139-141 - -Beauharnais, Countess Zena, 179 - -Beethoven, 59 - -Bieloselskaya, Princess, 179 - -Bismarck, 16 _sqq._, 27, 28; on male and female nations, 28 - -Bismarck, Count Herbert, 30, 39, 308 - -Biting-fish in South America, 274 - -Blessing of the Neva, the, 122 - -Blowitz, M. de, 68, 69 - -Botanic Gardens at Rio de Janeiro, the, 245 - -Brazil, 238 - -British Minister, a, in Carnival time, 250 _sqq._ - -Broadminded Scots parents, 111 - -Buckingham Palace and Berlin Schloss compared, 39-40 - -Buenos Ayres, 248 _sqq._; carnival at, 250; masked balls in, 255; -sport in, 264 _sqq._ - -Bulow, Hans von, 26 - - - -C - -Calcutta, the Maidan at, 321 - -"Camp," the, Buenos Ayres, 249 - -Campbell, Colonel, 234 - -Canada, 300 _sqq._ - -Carnival at Buenos Ayres, the, 249 - -Cathedrals, three famous Moscow, 183 - -Carolath-Beuthen, Princess, 39 - -Catherine the Great, 192; and the violet in Tsarskoe Park, 194 - -Charlemagne, 50 - -Cintra, 235 - -Circus in Lisbon, 221 - -Circus performer who became a Bishop, 225-226 - -Classification of nationalities, Bismarck's, 28 - -Clown, the author's personal experience as a, 223 - -Commercial Court Chamberlain, a, 243 - -Congress of 1878, the, in Berlin, 66 - -Connaught, Duchess of, 43 - -Conversational difficulties, 43-47, 166 - -Court beauties, 39, 179 - -Courting in Portugal, a curious custom, 217 - -"Croissants"--Viennese roll, origin of, 57 - -Crown Prince, 79 - -Culinary curiosities in Japan, 318-319 - -Curious sporting incidents, 145 _sq._ - - - -D - -Darwin, 257 - -Dawn in a Finnish forest, 174 _sq._ - -"Deaf and dumb people," 134 - -Deference paid to Austrian Archdukes, 63 - -Delyanoff, M., Minister of Education, 127; curious obsequies of, -127-129 - -Delyanoff, Mme., 127 - -Dentist, a polite, 205-206 - -Depreciated currency in the Argentine, 275 - -De Reszke, Edouard, 220 - -De Reszke, Jean, 220 - -De Reszke, Mlle., 220 - -Diaz, 237 - -Dolgorouki, Prince Alexander, 180 - -Dolgorouki, Princess Kitty, 179 - -Dolgorouki, Princess Mary, 179, 180 - -Dom Fernando, 212, 213, 235 - -Dom Luiz, 212-213 - -Dom Pedro, Emperor of Brazil, 243-244-245-246 - -Doré, Gustave, 234-235 - -Dowdeswell, Admiral, 231 - -Drunkenness in Russia, 141-142 - -Duc de Croy, the, a Belgian and an Austrian subject, 53 - -Dué, M., Swedish Minister to Russia, 128 - -Dufferin, Marchioness of, 88-89, 129, 139, 154, 159, 160 - -Dufferin, Marquis of, Ambassador to Petrograd, 88 _sqq._, 128, 129, -153; his diplomatic methods, 156-157-310 - - - -E - -Easter Supper in Russia, the, 109 - -Easy-going Austria, 49 - -Edinburgh, Duchess of, 125 - -Edinburgh, Duke of, 123 - -Elector of Brandenburg, 52 - -Emperor Frederick, 34, 79 - -Emperor William I, 32-33 - -Empress Marie, 208 - -Empress Elisabeth, 63-64 - -Empress Frederick, 33, 79 - -England, "Junker" Party's hostility to, 20 - -Environs of Berlin, 70 _sqq._ - -European Courts, disappearance of, 13 - -Exciting salmon fishing, 166-167 - -Expensive entertainment, an, 153 - -Exquisite Russian church music, 92 - -Extradition Treaty between Great Britain and Paraguay, 204 - - - -F - -Ferdinand of Saxe-Coburg, Prince, 212 - -Finland, 164-165 _sqq._ - -Footman as entomologist, the, 246-247 - -Formosa, 277 - -Fortress Church, Petrograd, 89, 90 - -Francis II, last of the Holy Roman Emperors, 50-51 - -Franz Josef of Austria, 52, 308 - -Frederick Charles of Prussia, Princess, 34 - -Frederick Count of Hohenzollern, 52 - -Frederick the Great, 27, 36, 74-75 - -Frederick William I, 74 - -French Ambassador's ball at Moscow, unusual incident at, 190-191 - - - -G - -Gapon, Father, 348 - -Gargantuan dinner, a, 187-188 - -Gatchina Palace, 208; children's play-room at, 209-210 - -George V, 186 - -German "door-politeness," 219 - -Germany, disappearance of the Court, 13 - -Germany, music in, 22-23 - -Ghika, Prince, Roumanian Minister to Russia, 128 - -Giers, M. de, Russian Minister for Foreign Affairs, 103, 202, 203, 204 - -Gigantic Court Pages, 40 - -Gonçalves, 241 - -Gortchakoff, Prince, and the Congress of Berlin, 1878, 66, 67 - -Gourmet, an ecclesiastical, 41-45 - -Gran Chaco, the, 268 - -Groote Constantia, 197 - -Gulf between Russian nobility and peasants, 147 - - - -H - -Harraka Niska, 164 _sqq._ - -Henry the Navigator, Prince, 237 - -Hilarious funeral, a, 127-128 - -Hohenzollerns ever a grasping race, 52 - -"Holy Roman Emperor," the, 50 - -Hooveny M. van der, Netherlands Minister to Russia, 128 - -Howard, Dick, 207, 281, 285 - -Humbert, King, 326 - -Hungary, invasion of, by the Turks in 1683, 56 - - - -I - -Ice-boating on the Gulf of Finland, 176 - -India, 186 - -Indoor games, Russians' love for, 177 - -Inelegant palaces, 75 - -Inquisitive peasant, an, 135 - -"Intelligenzia," the, 104 - -Irritating customs in Vienna, 54-55 - -Ismail, Khedive of Egypt, 201 - -Ivan III, 184 - - - -J - -Japan, 317-330, 343 _sqq._ - -Japanese advertising, 338 - -Japanese politeness, 334 - -Jardine, Captain, 284 _sqq._ - -Jena, 16 - -Jomini, Baron, 103 - -"Junker" Party, hostility of, towards England, 20 - - - -K - -Karolyi, Countess, Austrian Ambassadress in Berlin, 38, 63 - -Katheodory Pasha and the Congress of Berlin, 1878, 66 - -Kiderlin-Waechter, Baron von, 306-307 - -King Edward attends Alexander II's funeral, 162 - -King of Prussia proclaimed German Emperor at Versailles, 15 - -Kingsley, Charles, 345 - -Klepsch, Colonel, 309 - -Koltesha, 167-168-169 - -Koltesba, shooting at, 168 _sqq._ - -Königgrätz, 15 - -Kremlin, the, 182 _sqq._; the Great Palace, 185 - -Kyoto, the Emperor's palace, 321 - - - -L - -Ladies' unchangeable Court fashions in Russia, 117 - -Lapp encampment on the Neva, 112-113 - -Lawson, Sir Wilfrid, 307 - -Lazareff and the great Orloff diamond, 124 - -Leopold I, 52 - -"Les Bals des Palmiers," 120 - -Leuchtenberg, Duchess of, _see_ Beauharnais - -Liebknecht, Herr, 29 - -Lisbon, 211 - -Lisbon, beauty of, 229 - -Lister, Lord, 192 - -Liszt, 26 - -Lobkowitz Palace, 59 - -Lobkowitz, Prince, 59 - -Lopez, Francisco, 277 - -Lorraine, 15 - -Louis XIV, 52 - -Louis XVI, 57 - -Louise Margaret of Prussia, Princess, 43 - -Louise, Queen, of Prussia, 30-31 - -Lovendal, Count, Danish Minister in Petrograd, 306-307 - -Luncheon in pyjamas, 154 - -Luxembourg Palace, the, 36 - - - -M - -"Making the Circle," trying ordeal of Prussian Princesses, 43 - -Margherita, Queen, 326 - -Maria II, Queen, 212 - -Marie Antoinette, 57 - -Mendelssohn, 31 - -Midnight drive, an exciting, 150-151 - -Militarism in Germany, 15 _sqq._ - -Misguided midshipmen, 231-232 - -Mitsu, Count, 333 - -Mitsu, Countess, 334, 337 - -Moltke, Field-Marshal von, 30 - -Montebello, Comte de, French Ambassador, 189-190 - -Montebello, Comtesse de, 189 - -Montferrand, M., Architect of St. Isaac's, Petrograd, 91 - -Moscow, beauty of, 181-182 _sqq._ - -Moscow cathedrals, three famous, 183 - -Moscow, Imperial Treasury at, splendour of, 184 - -Music, Germans as lovers of, 22 - -"Musical chairs" in Japan, 319 - - - -N - -Napoleon I, 16; coronation of, 50-51; bribes electors of Bavaria, -Württemberg, and Saxony, 51 - -"Napoleon III," 36-37 - -Narrow escape from drowning of William II, 73 - -Natural beauties of Brazil, 246 - -Neva, blessing of the, 121 - -Newspaper enterprise, 316 - -Nicholas I, 185-194 - -Nicholas II, 158, 189, 347 _sqq._ - -Nihilist friends, 104 _sqq._ - -Nikko river, Japan, 331 - -Nondescript waiters, 184 - -Novel form of sport, a, 171-172 _sq._ - - - -O - -Old Schloss, Berlin, 34-35; comparison with Buckingham Palace, 39-40 - -Opera in Lisbon, 221 - -Organ Mountains, the, 245, 248 - -Oriental traits in Russian character, 101 - -Orloff diamond, the, 124 - - - -P - -Paget, Sir Augustus, 327 - -Palaeologus, Sophia, wife of Ivan III, 184 - -Paraguay, 276 _sqq._; Extradition Treaty between Great Britain and, -204 - -Paraguayan race meeting, a, 281 - -Paraguayan women, attractive, 282 - -Paraná river, the, 277 - -Patiño Cué, 285 _sqq._ - -Peace Congress between Russia and Turkey in Berlin, 1878, 66 _sqq._ - -Peasant's house in Russia, a, 131-132 _sqq._ - -Pernambuco, 240 - -Peter the Great, 51, 95, 102-103 _sq._ - -Peterhof, 196; its charming park, 197; a plethora of palaces round, -198 - -Petrograd, transference to, 76; a disappointing capital, 86; English -Embassy at, 89; Palace ball, 119; balls at, peculiarities of, 178; -famous Society beauties of, 179; inclement climate of, 193; -revisited, 340 _sqq._ - -Petropolis, diversions at, 245-246, 248 - -Pombal, Marquis de, 230 - -Portugal, two Kings of, 212 - -Portuguese bull-fights, bloodless, 214 _sqq._; comparison of with -Spanish, 216 - -Portuguese coinage, 228 - -Portuguese politeness, 220 - -Potemkin, 343 - -Potsdam, 71-72 _sqq._ - -Potsdam Palaces, 74-75 - -Prussian militarism, 15 _sqq._ - -Prussian Princesses, a trying ordeal, 43 - -"Princesse Château," 95 _sqq._, 180 - -Pugnacious Court Pages, 40-41 - - - -Q - -Quebec, 300 - -Queen Alexandra attends Alexander II's funeral, 162 - -Queen Victoria, queenly dignity of, 116 - -Queen Victoria confers Order of the Garter on Alexander III, 162 -_sqq._ - -Quirinal at Rome, the, 14 - - - -R - -Radziwill, Princess William, 39 - -"Rag-time" and Rubinstein, 25-26 - -Rasputin, 348 - -Rauch, 31 - -Red-bearded priest, the, 110 - -Richter, Gustav, 30 - -Richter, Mme., 31 - -River Plate, the, 299 - -"Ring," the, in Berlin, 23 - -Rio de Janeiro, beauty of, 240 - -Rome, the Quirinal, 14 - -Rubinstein and "Rag-time," 25-26 - -Russia, disappearance of the Court, 13 - -Russia and Turkey, Peace Congress in Berlin, 66 - -Russian frontier police, 84 - -Russian gipsies, 149-150; their fascinating singing, 151-152 - -Russian illusions, 198-199 - -Russian Imperial Yacht Club, the, 100 - -Russian ladies' unchangeable Court fashions, 117 - -Russian language, difficulties exaggerated, 94 - -Russian limitations, 102 - -Russian police, 77 - -Russian village habits, 146 - -Russians really Orientals, 101 - - - -S - -Sadowa, 15 - -St. Isaac's church, Petrograd, 91; midnight Easter Mass at, 105 _sqq._ - -Salisbury, Lord, and the Congress of Berlin, 1878, 66-69 - -Scandalized governess, a, 155 - -Schleinitz, Mme. de, 25 - -"Schlüssel-Geld," an unpopular tax, 55 - -Schouvaloff, Count Peter, and the Peace Congress in Berlin, 1878, 66; -180 - -Schouvaloff, Countess Betsy, 179-180 - -Secret Police in Russia, the, 99 - -Seven Weeks' War, the, 15 - -Shah Jehan, 186-196 - -Shennan, Mr. David, 261-262 - -Sigismund, 52 - -Ski-ing, 168 _sq._ - -Skobeleff, General, 179 - -Slovenly Russian uniforms, 118 - -Sobieski, John, King of Poland, routs the Turks, 56 - -Spanish and Portuguese bull-fights, difference between, 216 - -Sport in Russia, 128-129 - -Strauss, Johann, 58; an exacting conductor, 59 - -"Street of toleration," the, 126 - -Strousberg, Herr, railway magnate, 31 - -Stürmer, M., destroyer of the Russian Empire, 158 - -Sullivan, Sir Arthur, in Petrograd, 93 - - - -T - -Talleyrand, 50 - -Tel-el-Kebir, 204 - -Tetschen, 48 - -Teutonic Knights, the, 16 - -Tewfik, 201 - -Tigre, the, 299 - -Toboganning in Finland, 174-175 _sq._ - -Tokugawa dynasty, 320 - -Tokyo, 317 - -Tokyo, Uyeno Park at, 325; 332 - -Trinidad, 345 - -Tsarskoe Park, curiosities in, 193 - -Tsarskoe Selo, 191 _sqq._ - -Turkey and Russia, Peace Congress in Berlin, 66 - -Turks, invasion of Hungary, by, in 1683, 56 - -Turks routed by John Sobieski in 1683, 56 - - - -U - -Ultimatum to Russia, a young man's, 202 - -Unusual occupants of a palace, 126 - -Urbain, the cook, 42 - - - -V - -Van der Stell, Governor, 197 - -Vasco de Gama, 237 - -Victoria, Queen, 42 - -Victor Emmanuel, 14 - -Vienna, 48 _sqq._ - -Vienna, delightful environs of, 64 - -Viennese Court entertainments, 62 - -Viennese orchestras, 55 _sq._ - -Viennese restaurants and orchestras, excellence of, 55 - -Viennese women, comeliness of, 57 - -Villages in Russia, similarity of, 131-132 - -Vladimir, Grand Duke and death of Alexander II, 159 - - - -W - -Waddington, M., and the Congress of Berlin, 1878, 67 - -Wagner, the "Ring" in Berlin, 23-24, 25 - -Waitresses, aristocratic, 24-25 - -Water-throwing at Buenos Ayres Carnival, 249 - -Wends, the, 16 - -William IV, 72 - -Winter Palace, Petrograd, the, 114-122 _sqq._ - -Wolseley, Sir Garnet, 204 - -Wolves as fellow travelers, 131 - - - -Y - -Yellow fever at Rio de Janeiro, 241-242-243 - - - - - - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Vanished Pomps of Yesterday, by -Frederic Hamilton - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE VANISHED POMPS OF YESTERDAY *** - -***** This file should be named 60901-8.txt or 60901-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/9/0/60901/ - -Produced by Al Haines -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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