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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #62969 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/62969)
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Humorists of the Pencil: Phil May, by Phil May
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: Humorists of the Pencil: Phil May
-
-Author: Phil May
-
-Release Date: August 18, 2020 [EBook #62969]
-[Last updated: August 27, 2020]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HUMORISTS OF THE PENCIL: PHIL MAY ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Chuck Greif (This file was produced from images
-available at The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-                        HUMORISTS OF THE PENCIL
-
-                               PHIL MAY
-
-                       [Illustration: colophon]
-
-                                LONDON:
-
-               “PUNCH” OFFICE, 10, BOUVERIE STREET, E.C.
-
-[Illustration: PHIL MAY--By Himself.]
-
-Reproduced from “The History of Punch” by the kind permission of Mr. H.
-H. Spielmann, the ownder of the original drawings.
-
-[Illustration: “AND SHE OUGHT TO KNOW!”
-
-“That’s supposed to be a Portograph of Lady Solsbary. But, bless yer, it
-ain’t like her a bit in Private!”]
-
-[Illustration:
-
-PREACHING AND PRACTISING.
-
-_Lady Bountiful_ (_to old Parishioner_). “I hope you like our New
-Clergyman’s Sermons, Mrs. Brown?”
-
-_Mrs. Brown_: “Oh yes, my Lady, he do Preach quite beautiful; but then,
-you see, he don’t Practise. So when my poor old Man be troubled with the
-Rheumatics, I have to send for the Doctor in the Village, and it do come
-so very expensive!”]
-
-[Illustration: “PLEASE TO REMEMBER THE WAITER.”
-
-“All right, Sir! My fault!”]
-
-[Illustration: FOGGY WEATHER.
-
-“Has Mr. Smith been here?” “Yes; he was here about an hour ago.” “Was I
-with him?”]
-
-[Illustration: “Penny ’Addick.” “Finen?” “No; thick ’un!”]
-
-[Illustration: A NEGLECTED INDUSTRY.
-
-“’Ow are yer gettin’ on, Bill?”
-
-“Ain’t gettin’ on at all. I’m beginnin’ to think as the Publick doesn’t
-know what they wants!”]
-
-[Illustration: BLASÉ
-
-_Kitty_ (_reading a fairy tale_). “‘Once upon a time there was a
-frog----’”
-
-_Mabel_ (_interrupting_). “I bet it’s a Princess! Go on!”]
-
-[Illustration: CRUEL!
-
-_Lucullus Brown_ (_on hospitable purpose intent_). “Are you Dining
-anywhere to-morrow night?”
-
-_Jones_ (_not liking to absolutely “give himself away”_). “Let me
-see”--(_considers_)--“No; I’m not Dining anywhere to-morrow.”
-
-_Lucullus Brown_ (_seeing through the artifice_). “Um! Poor chap! How
-Hungry you will be!”
-
-[“_Exeunt,--severally_.”]]
-
-[Illustration: “THE COW WAS THE STAMP TO IMPRESS SUPERIOR BUTTER.”
-
-“’Arf a pound er Margarine, please; an’ Mother says will yer put the Cow
-on it cos she’s got Company!”]
-
-[Illustration: Q. E. D.
-
-“Wha’s up wi’ Sal?” “Ain’t yer ’erd? She’s Married agin!”]
-
-[Illustration: OF VITAL IMPORTANCE.
-
-“Hi, Billie! _’Ere’s_ Cheap Gloves!”]
-
-[Illustration: AN IMPORTANT ’JUNCTION.
-
-“You mind your Fader gets my Boots reddy by Four o’clock, ’cos I’m
-goin’ to a Party!”]
-
-[Illustration: AN INFORMAL INTRODUCTION.
-
-’_Arry_ (_shouting across the street to his “Pal”_) “Hi! Bill! This is
-’er!”]
-
-[Illustration: POLITICS AND GALLANTRY.
-
-_First ’Arry_: “Hay, wot’s this ’ere Rosebery a torkin’ abaat? Bless’d
-if he ain’t a goin’ to do awy with the Lords!”
-
-_Second ’Arry_: (_more of a Don Juan than a Politician_). “Do awy with
-the ’ole bloomin’ lot o’ Lords, if he likes, as long as he don’t do awy
-with the Lidies!”]
-
-[Illustration: THE PLUNGER.
-
-_First Boy_ _(much interested in the game of Buttons_). “’As ’e lost?”
-
-_Second Ditto_. “Yes; ’e lost all them Buttons what ’e won off Tommy
-Crowther yesterday, an’ then ’e cut all the Buttons off ’is Clothes, and
-’e’s lost them too!”]
-
-[Illustration: _Superior ’Arry_. “Cabbie! To the--aw--the Prince of
-Wales’s.”
-
-_Cabbie_-“Marlbro’ ’Ouse, my Lord?”]
-
-[Illustration: THE GENIAL SEASON.
-
-_Hungry-looking Acquaintance_ (_with eye to invitation_). “So glad to
-see you enjoying yourself!”
-
-_Fat Chap_ (_evidently doing well_). “Wrong again, old Man. I’m enjoying
-my Dinner!”]
-
-[Illustration: “Look what I’ve bought you for a Christmas Box!”]
-
-[Illustration: PAST AND PRESENT.
-
-_Serious and much-Married Man_. “My dear Friend, I _was_ astonished to
-hear of _your_ dining at Madame Troisétoiles!--a ‘Woman with a Past’ you
-know!”
-
-_The Friend_ (_Bachelor “unattached”_). “Well, you see, old Man, she’s
-got a first-rate _Chef_, so it isn’t her ‘Past’ but her ‘Re-past’ that I
-care about.”]
-
-[Illustration: Editor of Libellous Rag (who has just received a terrific
-but well-deserved kick). “Dud you man thot?”
-
-_Colonel McMurder_. “Yis, oi _dud_, you thunderin’ villain!”
-
-_Editor_. “Oh, very well, thot’s all _roight_. Oi t’ought it moight av
-been wan o’ thim prac-ta-cle jokes”!]
-
-[Illustration: “Hi, Billy! are yer Movin’?”]
-
-[Illustration: SO LIKELY!
-
-Scene--_Bar of a Railway Refreshment Room._
-
-_Barmaid_. “Tea, Sir?” _Mr. Boozy_. “Tea!!! ME!!!!”]
-
-[Illustration: BOTANY; OR, A DAY IN THE COUNTRY.
-
-“Say, Billee, shall we gaver Mushrooms?”
-
-“Yus. I’m a Beggar to Climb!”]
-
-[Illustration: _First Boy_. “Give us a Bite of your Apple, Bob.”
-
-_Second Boy_. “Shan’t.”
-
-_First Boy_. “What for?”
-
-_Second Boy_. “’Cos yer axed me!”
-
-(_After a pause._)
-
-_Small Boy_. “Gi’ me a Bite, Bob. I never axed yer!”]
-
-[Illustration: A BUSINESS ANNOUNCEMENT.]
-
-[Illustration: MAY 1. THE SWEEPS’ FESTIVAL.
-
-A Study in Black and White. ⁂ Nice for Next Fare.]
-
-[Illustration: _New Assistant_ (_after hair-cutting, to Jones, who has
-been away for a couple of weeks_). “Your ’Air is very thin be’ind, Sir.
-Try Singeing!”
-
-_Jones_ (_after a pause_). “Yes, I think I will.”
-
-_N.A._ (_after singeing_). “Shampoo, Sir? Good for the ’Air, Sir.”
-
-_Jones_. “Thank you. Yes.”
-
-_N.A._ “Your Moustaches curled?”
-
-_Jones_. “Please.”
-
-_N.A._ “May I give you a Friction?”
-
-_Jones_. “Thank you.”
-
-_N.A._ “Will you try some of our----”
-
-_Manager_ (_who has just sighted his man, in Stage whisper_). “You
-Idiot! _He’s_ a Subscriber!!”]
-
-[Illustration: _Youngster_ (_who has just had a Penny given to him_).
-“’Ow much is them Grapes, Mister?”
-
-_Shopkeeper_ (_amused_). “They are Four Shillings and Sixpence a Pound,
-my Lad.”
-
-_Youngster_. “Well, then, give us a ’A’porth o’ _Carrots_. I’m a _Demon_
-for _Fruit_!”]
-
-[Illustration: _Ragged Urchin_ (_who has just picked up very short and
-dirty end of a Cigarette_). “Hi, Billy! Look ’ere! See what you’ve
-missed!”]
-
-[Illustration: “_Perfeck Lidy_” (_who has just been ejected_). “Well,
-_next_ time I goes into a Publickouse, I’ll go somewhere where I’ll be
-_respected_!”]
-
-[Illustration: A YORKSHIRE GOSSIP.
-
-_First Gossip_. “So you was nivver axed tut Funeral?”
-
-_Second Gossip_. “Nivver as much as inside t’house. But nobbut wait till
-_we_ hev’ a Funeral of us own, an’ _we_’ll show ’em!”]
-
-[Illustration: SO THAT DOESN’T COUNT.
-
-“Are you sure they’re quite Fresh?” “Wot a Question to arst! Can’t yer
-see they’re Alive?”
-
-“Yes; but you’re _Alive_, you know!”]
-
-[Illustration: A SUNDAY DINNER.
-
-_Father of Family_ (_who has accidentally shot the leg of a Fowl under
-the table_). “Mind t’Dog doesn’t get it!”
-
-_Young Hopeful_ (_triumphantly_). “All right, Feyther! I’ve gotten me
-Foot on it!”]
-
-[Illustration: _Workman_ (_politely, to old Lady, who has accidentally
-got into the Smoking Compartment_). “You don’ object to my Pipe, I ’ope
-Mum?”
-
-_Old Lady_. “Yes, I _do_ object, very strongly!”
-
-_Workman_. “Oh! Then out you get!!”]
-
-[Illustration: REASSURING.
-
-“Lor’ bless yer, Sir, that’s all right, Sir! _That_ ain’t a Fly, Sir!
-_That’s_ a bit of Dirt!”]
-
-[Illustration: PICKINGS FROM PICARDY.
-
-After the Procession. A Solo by Grand-père.]
-
-[Illustration: MUCH ADO.
-
-“Mumma-a-a! Boo-hoo! We’s crying! Tum up ’tairs an’ see what’s de matter
-wiv us!”]
-
-[Illustration: A SKETCH FROM LIFE.
-
-_Chorus_ (_slow music_). “We’ve a rare old--fair old--rickety Crew!”]
-
-[Illustration: “_Are_ you comin’ ’ome?”
-
-“I’ll do ellythik you _like_ in reasol, M’ria--(_hic_)--Bur I _won’t_
-come ’ome.”]
-
-[Illustration: _Importunate Street Urchin_ (_for the tenth time_). “Gi’
-us a Copper. Sir! Gi’ us a Copper!”
-
-_Testy Individual_ (_losing patience_). “Oh, go to”--(substitutes a
-milder form)--“blazes!”
-
-_Street Urchin_. “Sure thin an’ I would in this bastly could weather, if
-I was only certain o’ comin’ back again!” [_Individual’s testiness
-overcome and Urchin rewarded_.]]
-
-[Illustration: “NICE FOR THE VISITORS.”
-
-(_Sketch Outisde a Fashionable Hotel_.)]
-
-[Illustration: _Coster_ (_to acquaintance, who has been away for some
-months_). “Wot are yer bin doin’ all this time?”
-
-_Bill Robbins_ (_who has been “doing time”_). “Oh, I’ve bin Wheelin’ a
-bit, Ole Man--Wheelin’ a bit!”]
-
-[Illustration: THE GREAT PRIZE FIGHT.
-
-_Johnnie_ (_who finds that his Box, £20, has been appropriated by “the
-Fancy”_). “I beg your pardon, but this is _my_ Box!”
-
-_Bill Basford_. “Oh, is it? Well, why don’t you tike it?”]
-
-[Illustration: _Fussy Old Lady_. “Now _don’t_ forget, Conductor. I _want
-the Bank of England_.”
-
-_Conductor_. “_All_ right, Mum.” (_Aside_.) “She _don’t_ want _much_, do
-she, Mate?”]
-
-[Illustration: INFORMATION.
-
-_First ’Arry_ (_with newspaper_). “I say, ’Arry, you’se a Toff. What’s a
-‘Collar Day’ at Court?”
-
-_Second ’Arry_. “Donno ’xactly. Suppose it’s a Saturday when things come
-’ome from the Wash.”
-
-_First ’Arry_. “Oh, I see--‘Clean Collar Day’!”]
-
-[Illustration: _Little Guttersnipe_ (_who is getting quite used to
-posing_). “Will yer want me ter tike my Bun down?”]
-
-[Illustration: “EVERYTHING COMES TO HIM THAT ‘WAITS.’”]
-
-[Illustration: THE HEALING ART.
-
-_Doctor_. “Did you give the Children the Physic I sent last night?”
-
-_Fond Mother_. “Yes, Sir,”
-
-_Doctor_. “And how are they to-day?”
-
-_Fond Mother_. “Well, the little un’s very bad to be sure. But it don’t
-seem to ’ave done the t’other un’ no ’Arm as yet!”]
-
-[Illustration: _Bill Sykes_ (_reading_). “There are now ten men of the
-Bechuanaland Border Police in the whole Bechuanaland Protectorate, four
-of whom are doing Customs Duty.”]
-
-[Illustration: _Street Serio_ (_singing_). “Er--yew will think hov me
-and Love me has in dies hov long ago-o-o!”]
-
-[Illustration: _Old Jones_. “Yes, my Boy, _there’s_ Wine for you, eh? I
-bought Ten Pounds of it the other day.”
-
-_Brown_. “What a _lot_ you must have got!”]
-
-[Illustration: First Newspaper Boy. “Hullo, Bill! Who’s ’e?”
-
-Second Newspaper Boy. “I suppose ’e’s the North Pole as ’as just been
-Discovered!”]
-
-[Illustration: “What Bait are yer usin’, Billie?”
-
-“Cheese.”
-
-“What are yer tryin’ ter catch--Mice?”]
-
-[Illustration: A BI-METALLISTIC DISCUSSION.
-
-_Jim_. “What’s this ere ‘Bi-metallism,’ Bill?”
-
-_Bill_ (_of superior intelligence_). “Well, yer see, Jim, it’s heither a
-Licensed Wittlers’ or a Teetotal Dodge. The Wages’ll be paid in Silver,
-and no more Coppers. So you can’t get no arf-pint nor hanythink under a
-Sixpence or a Thrip’ny. Then you heither leaves it alone, and takes to
-Water like a Duck, or you runs up a score.”
-
-_Jim_. “Ah! But if there ain’t no more Coppers, ’ow about the ’Buses and
-the Hunderground Rileway?”
-
-_Bill_ (_profoundly_). “Ah!” [Left sitting.]]
-
-[Illustration: _First Genius to Second Genius_. “Why on Earth do you do
-your Hair in that absurd Fashion, Smith?”]
-
-[Illustration: “Oi tell yez Oi will _not_ clane out me Cell. Oi’d lave
-the Jail furrst!”]
-
-[Illustration: _Small Voice from under the Bed_. “_No_, I will _not_
-come out! I tell you, once and for all.”
-
-Bernesia. “I _will_ be Master in my own House!”]
-
-[Illustration: _Photographer_. “I think this is an excellent Portrait of
-your Wife.”
-
-_Mr. Smallweed_. “I don’t know--sort of _repose_ about the mouth that
-somehow doesn’t seem right”]
-
-[Illustration: “Where did yer spend yer ’Olidays, Bob?”
-
-“Souf o’ Frarnce, o’ course!”]
-
-[Illustration: HOSPITALITY.
-
-_Spokesman of Working Men’s Club_ (_on the occasion of their Patron’s
-first visit_). “And we ’opes, Sir, as this ’ll be _neither_ the _first_ nor
-the _last_ time as you’ll dew us the honner of settin’ among us!”]
-
-[Illustration: SO INVITING!]
-
-[Illustration: ’_Bus Conductor_, “Emmersmith! Emmersmith! ’Ere ye are!
-Emmersmith!”
-
-’_Liza Ann_. “Oo er yer callin’ Emmer Smith? Sorcy ’ound!”]
-
-[Illustration: _Enthusiastic Briton_ (_to seedy American, who has been
-running down all our National Monuments_). “But even if our Houses of
-Parliament ‘aren’t in it,’ as you say, with the Masonic Temple of
-Chicago, surely, Sir, you will admit the Thames Embankment, for
-instance----”
-
-_Seedy American_. “Waal, _guess_ I don’t think so durned much of your
-Thames Embankment, neither. It _rained_ all the blarmed time the night I
-_slep_ on it.”]
-
-[Illustration: “Gentlemen, I am ready to admit that his Career in the
-Past has not been free from Blemish----”]
-
-[Illustration: FASHIONABLE AND SEASONABLE.
-
-Where to Sup _al fresco_ in the Hottest Weather. The “_Whelkome_ Club.”]
-
-[Illustration: “Tell your Fortune, Pretty Gentleman?”]
-
-[Illustration: _Clerk of Booking-Office._ “There is
-_no_ First Class by this Train, Sir.”
-
-’_Arry_. “Then wot are _we_ going ter do, Bill?”]
-
-[Illustration: “THE ANCHOR’S WEIGHED.”
-
-(_Sketched on an Excursion Steamer._)]
-
-[Illustration: SOCIAL EVOLUTION
-
-_Tramp_ (_to benevolent but inquisitive Lady_). “Well you see, Mum, it
-were like this. I were a ’Addick Smoker by profession; then I got ill,
-and ’ad to go to the ’Orspital; then I sold Cats’ Meat; but some’ow or
-other I got into _low water!_”]
-
-[Illustration: A SKETCH NEAR PICCADILLY.]
-
-[Illustration: THE MOTOR ’BUS.
-
-_Fussy Old Gent_. “Hi! Stop! stop! I want to get down.”
-
-_Driver_. “_I_ can’t stop the bloomin’ thing!!”]
-
-[Illustration: “Poor likkle Doggie--hasn’t got any Fevvers on!”]
-
-[Illustration: THE MOTOR ’BUS.
-
-_Fussy Old Gent_. “Hi! Stop! stop! I want to get down.”
-
-_Driver_. “I can’t stop the bloomin’ thing!!”]
-
-[Illustration: SO VERY CONSIDERATE.
-
-_Stout Coster_. “Where are yer goin’ to, Bill?”
-
-_Bill_. “Inter the Country for a nice Drive, bein’ Bank ’Olidy.”
-
-_Stout Coster_. “Same ’ere. I sy! don’t yer think we might swop Misseses
-just for a few Hours? It would be so much kinder to the Hanimile!”]
-
-[Illustration: _Sexton_ (_to a Divine, who was spending his holidays in
-the country, and who, on the sudden illness of the Village Parson,
-volunteered to take the duties_). “A worse Preacher would have done for
-us, Sir, _but we couldn’t get one_!”]
-
-[Illustration: ZOOLOGY.
-
-“That’s a Porkypine, Sarah.”
-
-“No, it ain’t, Bill. It’s a Orstridge!”]
-
-[Illustration: SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS.]
-
-[Illustration: 79 SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS.]
-
-[Illustration: SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS.
-
-“Oh, rest you merry Gentleman, May nothing you dismay!”]
-
-[Illustration: “A STUDY IN EXPRESSION.”]
-
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's Humorists of the Pencil: Phil May, by Phil May
-
-*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HUMORISTS OF THE PENCIL: PHIL MAY ***
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-  <head>  <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" />
-<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=utf-8" />
-<title>
-  The Project Gutenberg eBook of Humorists of The Pencil; Phil May.
-</title>
-<style type="text/css">
-big {font-size: 130%;letter-spacing:.05em;}
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-
-<pre>
-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Humorists of the Pencil: Phil May, by Phil May
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: Humorists of the Pencil: Phil May
-
-Author: Phil May
-
-Release Date: August 18, 2020 [EBook #62969]
-[Last updated: August 27, 2020]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HUMORISTS OF THE PENCIL: PHIL MAY ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Chuck Greif (This file was produced from images
-available at The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-</pre>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<h1><span class="boxx">HUMORISTS <small>OF THE</small> PENCIL</span><br /><br />
-<big><b>PHIL &nbsp; MAY</b></big></h1>
-
-<p class="c"><img src="images/ill_001.jpg"
-width="175"
-alt="[Image unavailable.]"
-/></p>
-
-<p class="c">LONDON:<br />
-“PUNCH” OFFICE, 10, BOUVERIE STREET, E.C.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_002.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_002.jpg" height="512" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>PHIL MAY&mdash;By Himself.</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div  class="blk">
-<p>Reproduced from “The History of Punch” by the kind permission of Mr. H.
-H. Spielmann, the owner of the original drawings.</p>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_003.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_003.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“AND SHE OUGHT TO KNOW!”</p>
-
-<p>“That’s supposed to be a Portograph of Lady Solsbary. But, bless yer, it
-ain’t like her a bit in Private!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_004.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_004.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>PREACHING AND PRACTISING.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Lady Bountiful</i> (<i>to old Parishioner</i>). “I hope you like our New
-Clergyman’s Sermons, Mrs. Brown?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Mrs. Brown</i>: “Oh yes, my Lady, he do Preach quite beautiful; but then,
-you see, he don’t Practise. So when my poor old Man be troubled with the
-Rheumatics, I have to send for the Doctor in the Village, and it do come
-so very expensive!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_005.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_005.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“PLEASE TO REMEMBER THE WAITER.”</p>
-
-<p>“All right, Sir! My fault!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_006.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_006.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>FOGGY WEATHER.</p>
-
-<p>“Has Mr. Smith been here?” “Yes; he was here about an hour ago.” “Was I
-with him?”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_007.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_007.jpg" height="506" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“Penny ’Addick.” “Finen?” “No; thick ’un!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_008.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_008.jpg" height="567" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>A NEGLECTED INDUSTRY.</p>
-
-<p>“<span class="lftspc">’</span>Ow are yer gettin’ on, Bill?”</p>
-
-<p>“Ain’t gettin’ on at all. I’m beginnin’ to think as the Publick doesn’t
-know what they wants!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_009.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_009.jpg" width="431" height="419" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>BLASÉ</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Kitty</i> (<i>reading a fairy tale</i>). “<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Once upon a time there was a
-frog&mdash;&mdash;’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-
-<p><i>Mabel</i> (<i>interrupting</i>). “I bet it’s a Princess! Go on!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_010.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_010.jpg" width="451" height="565" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>CRUEL!</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Lucullus Brown</i> (<i>on hospitable purpose intent</i>). “Are you Dining
-anywhere to-morrow night?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Jones</i> (<i>not liking to absolutely “give himself away”</i>). “Let me
-see”&mdash;(<i>considers</i>)&mdash;“No; I’m not Dining anywhere to-morrow.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Lucullus Brown</i> (<i>seeing through the artifice</i>). “Um! Poor chap! How
-Hungry you will be!”</p>
-
-<p>[“<i>Exeunt,&mdash;severally</i>.”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_011.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_011.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“THE COW WAS THE STAMP TO IMPRESS SUPERIOR BUTTER.”</p>
-
-<p>“<span class="lftspc">’</span>Arf a pound er Margarine, please; an’ Mother says will yer put the Cow
-on it cos she’s got Company!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_012.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_012.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>Q. E. D.</p>
-
-<p>“Wha’s up wi’ Sal?” “Ain’t yer ’erd? She’s Married agin!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_013.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_013.jpg" width="481" height="565" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>OF VITAL IMPORTANCE.</p>
-
-<p>“Hi, Billie! ’<i>Ere’s</i> Cheap Gloves!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_014.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_014.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>AN IMPORTANT ’JUNCTION.</p>
-
-<p>“You mind your Fader gets my Boots reddy by Four o’clock, ’cos I’m
-goin’ to a Party!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_015.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_015.jpg" height="431" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>AN INFORMAL INTRODUCTION.</p>
-
-<p>’<i>Arry</i> (<i>shouting across the street to his “Pal”</i>) “Hi! Bill! This is
-’er!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_016.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_016.jpg" height="518" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>POLITICS AND GALLANTRY.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>First ’Arry</i>: “Hay, wot’s this ’ere Rosebery a torkin’ abaat? Bless’d
-if he ain’t a goin’ to do awy with the Lords!”</p>
-
-<p><i>Second ’Arry</i>: (<i>more of a Don Juan than a Politician</i>). “Do awy with
-the ’ole bloomin’ lot o’ Lords, if he likes, as long as he don’t do awy
-with the Lidies!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_017.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_017.jpg" height="560" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>THE PLUNGER.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>First Boy</i> <i>(much interested in the game of Buttons</i>). “<span class="lftspc">’</span>As ’e lost?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Second Ditto</i>. “Yes; ’e lost all them Buttons what ’e won off Tommy
-Crowther yesterday, an’ then ’e cut all the Buttons off ’is Clothes, and
-’e’s lost them too!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_018.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_018.jpg" height="547" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p><i>Superior ’Arry</i>. “Cabbie! To the&mdash;aw&mdash;the Prince of
-Wales’s.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Cabbie</i>-“Marlbro’ ’Ouse, my Lord?”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_019.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_019.jpg" width="517" height="455" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>THE GENIAL SEASON.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Hungry-looking Acquaintance</i> (<i>with eye to invitation</i>). “So glad to
-see you enjoying yourself!”</p>
-
-<p><i>Fat Chap</i> (<i>evidently doing well</i>). “Wrong again, old Man. I’m enjoying
-my Dinner!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_020.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_020.jpg" width="464" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“Look what I’ve bought you for a Christmas Box!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_021.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_021.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>PAST AND PRESENT.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Serious and much-Married Man</i>. “My dear Friend, I <i>was</i> astonished to
-hear of <i>your</i> dining at Madame Troisétoiles!&mdash;a ‘Woman with a Past’ you
-know!”</p>
-
-<p><i>The Friend</i> (<i>Bachelor “unattached”</i>). “Well, you see, old Man, she’s
-got a first-rate <i>Chef</i>, so it isn’t her ‘Past’ but her ‘Re-past’ that I
-care about.”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_022.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_022.jpg" height="511" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>Editor of Libellous Rag</i> (<i>who has just received a terrific
-but well-deserved kick</i>). “Dud you man thot?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Colonel McMurder</i>. “Yis, oi <i>dud</i>, you thunderin’ villain!”</p>
-
-<p><i>Editor</i>. “Oh, very well, thot’s all <i>roight</i>. Oi t’ought it moight av
-been wan o’ thim prac-ta-cle jokes”!</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_023.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_023.jpg" width="461" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“Hi, Billy! are yer Movin’?”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_024.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_024.jpg" height="513" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>SO LIKELY!</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p>Scene&mdash;<i>Bar of a Railway Refreshment Room.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Barmaid</i>. “Tea, Sir?” <i>Mr. Boozy</i>. “Tea!!! ME!!!!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_025.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_025.jpg" height="590" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>BOTANY; OR, A DAY IN THE COUNTRY.</p>
-
-<p>“Say, Billee, shall we gaver Mushrooms?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yus. I’m a Beggar to Climb!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_026.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_026.jpg" width="439" height="511" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>First Boy</i>. “Give us a Bite of your Apple, Bob.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Second Boy</i>. “Shan’t.”</p>
-
-<p><i>First Boy</i>. “What for?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Second Boy</i>. “<span class="lftspc">’</span>Cos yer axed me!”</p>
-
-<p>(<i>After a pause.</i>)</p>
-
-<p><i>Small Boy</i>. “Gi’ me a Bite, Bob. I never axed yer!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_027.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_027.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>A BUSINESS ANNOUNCEMENT.</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_028.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_028.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>MAY 1. THE SWEEPS’ FESTIVAL.</p>
-
-<p>A Study in Black and White. ⁂ Nice for Next Fare.</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_029.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_029.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p> <i>New Assistant</i> (<i>after hair-cutting, to Jones, who has
-been away for a couple of weeks</i>). “Your ’Air is very thin be’ind, Sir.
-Try Singeing!”</p>
-
-<p><i>Jones</i> (<i>after a pause</i>). “Yes, I think I will.”</p>
-
-<p><i>N.A.</i> (<i>after singeing</i>). “Shampoo, Sir? Good for the ’Air, Sir.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Jones</i>. “Thank you. Yes.”</p>
-
-<p><i>N.A.</i> “Your Moustaches curled?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Jones</i>. “Please.”</p>
-
-<p><i>N.A.</i> “May I give you a Friction?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Jones</i>. “Thank you.”</p>
-
-<p><i>N.A.</i> “Will you try some of our&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p><i>Manager</i> (<i>who has just sighted his man, in Stage whisper</i>). “You
-Idiot! <i>He’s</i> a Subscriber!!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_030.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_030.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>Youngster</i> (<i>who has just had a Penny given to him</i>).
-“<span class="lftspc">’</span>Ow much is them Grapes, Mister?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Shopkeeper</i> (<i>amused</i>). “They are Four Shillings and Sixpence a Pound,
-my Lad.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Youngster</i>. “Well, then, give us a ’A’porth o’ <i>Carrots</i>. I’m a <i>Demon</i>
-for <i>Fruit</i>!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_031.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_031.jpg" width="432" height="491" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>Ragged Urchin</i> (<i>who has just picked up very short and
-dirty end of a Cigarette</i>). “Hi, Billy! Look ’ere! See what you’ve
-missed!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_032.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_032.jpg" width="497" height="552" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“<i>Perfeck Lidy</i>” (<i>who has just been ejected</i>). “Well,
-<i>next</i> time I goes into a Publickouse, I’ll go somewhere where I’ll be
-<i>respected</i>!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_033.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_033.jpg" width="335" height="433" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>A YORKSHIRE GOSSIP.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>First Gossip</i>. “So you was nivver axed tut Funeral?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Second Gossip</i>. “Nivver as much as inside t’house. But nobbut wait till
-<i>we</i> hev’ a Funeral of us own, an’ <i>we</i>’ll show ’em!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_034.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_034.jpg" width="512" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>SO <span class="un">THAT</span> DOESN’T COUNT.</p>
-
-<p>“Are you sure they’re quite Fresh?” “Wot a Question to arst! Can’t yer
-see they’re Alive?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; but you’re <i>Alive</i>, you know!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_035.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_035.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p> A SUNDAY DINNER.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Father of Family</i> (<i>who has accidentally shot the leg of a Fowl under the table</i>).
-“Mind t’Dog doesn’t get it!”</p>
-
-<p><i>Young Hopeful</i> (<i>triumphantly</i>). “All right, Feyther! I’ve gotten me Foot on it!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_036.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_036.jpg" height="531" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>Workman</i> (<i>politely, to old Lady, who has accidentally
-got into the Smoking Compartment</i>). “You don’ object to my Pipe, I ’ope
-Mum?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Old Lady</i>. “Yes, I <i>do</i> object, very strongly!”</p>
-
-<p><i>Workman</i>. “Oh! Then out you get!!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_037.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_037.jpg" width="467" height="498" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>REASSURING.</p>
-
-<p>“Lor’ bless yer, Sir, that’s all right, Sir! <i>That</i> ain’t a Fly, Sir!
-<i>That’s</i> a bit of Dirt!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_038.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_038.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>PICKINGS FROM PICARDY.</p>
-
-<p>After the Procession. A Solo by Grand-père.</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_039.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_039.jpg" width="414" height="511" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>MUCH ADO.</p>
-
-<p>“Mumma-a-a! Boo-hoo! We’s crying! Tum up ’tairs an’ see what’s de matter
-wiv us!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_040.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_040.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p> A SKETCH FROM LIFE.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Chorus</i> (<i>slow music</i>). “We’ve a rare old&mdash;fair old&mdash;rickety Crew!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_041.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_041.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“<i>Are</i> you comin’ ’ome?”</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll do ellythik you <i>like</i> in reasol, M’ria&mdash;(<i>hic</i>)&mdash;Bur I <i>won’t</i>
-come ’ome.”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_042.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_042.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>Importunate Street Urchin</i> (<i>for the tenth time</i>). “Gi’
-us a Copper. Sir! Gi’ us a Copper!”</p>
-
-<p><i>Testy Individual</i> (<i>losing patience</i>). “Oh, go to”&mdash;(substitutes a
-milder form)&mdash;“blazes!”</p>
-
-<p><i>Street Urchin</i>. “Sure thin an’ I would in this bastly could weather, if
-I was only certain o’ comin’ back again!” [<i>Individual’s testiness
-overcome and Urchin rewarded</i>.</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_043.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_043.jpg" height="506" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“NICE FOR THE VISITORS.”</p>
-
-<p>(<i>Sketch Outisde a Fashionable Hotel</i>.)</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_044.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_044.jpg" height="567" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>Coster</i> (<i>to acquaintance, who has been away for some
-months</i>). “Wot are yer bin doin’ all this time?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Bill Robbins</i> (<i>who has been “doing time”</i>). “Oh, I’ve bin Wheelin’ a
-bit, Ole Man&mdash;Wheelin’ a bit!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_045.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_045.jpg" width="469" height="547" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>THE GREAT PRIZE FIGHT.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Johnnie</i> (<i>who finds that his Box, £20, has been appropriated by “the
-Fancy”</i>). “I beg your pardon, but this is <i>my</i> Box!”</p>
-
-<p><i>Bill Basford</i>. “Oh, is it? Well, why don’t you tike it?”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_046.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_046.jpg" height="572" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>Fussy Old Lady</i>. “Now <i>don’t</i> forget, Conductor. I <i>want
-the Bank of England</i>.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Conductor</i>. “<i>All</i> right, Mum.” (<i>Aside</i>.) “She <i>don’t</i> want <i>much</i>, do
-she, Mate?”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_047.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_047.jpg" height="554" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>INFORMATION.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>First ’Arry</i> (<i>with newspaper</i>). “I say, ’Arry, you’se a Toff. What’s a
-‘Collar Day’ at Court?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Second ’Arry</i>. “Donno ’xactly. Suppose it’s a Saturday when things come
-’ome from the Wash.”</p>
-
-<p><i>First ’Arry</i>. “Oh, I see&mdash;‘Clean Collar Day’!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_048.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_048.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p><i>Little Guttersnipe</i> (<i>who is getting quite used to
-posing</i>). “Will yer want me ter tike my Bun down?”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_049.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_049.jpg" height="575" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“EVERYTHING COMES TO HIM THAT ‘WAITS.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_050.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_050.jpg" width="463" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>THE HEALING ART.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Doctor</i>. “Did you give the Children the Physic I sent last night?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Fond Mother</i>. “Yes, Sir.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Doctor</i>. “And how are they to-day?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Fond Mother</i>. “Well, the little un’s very bad to be sure. But it don’t
-seem to ’ave done the t’other un’ no ’Arm as yet!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_051.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_051.jpg" width="468" height="546" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p><i>Bill Sykes</i> (<i>reading</i>). “There are now ten men of the
-Bechuanaland Border Police in the whole Bechuanaland Protectorate, four
-of whom are doing Customs Duty.”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_052.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_052.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p><i>Street Serio</i> (<i>singing</i>). “Er&mdash;yew will think hov me
-and Love me has in dies hov long ago-o-o!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_053.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_053.jpg" width="458" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>Old Jones</i>. “Yes, my Boy, <i>there’s</i> Wine for you, eh? I
-bought Ten Pounds of it the other day.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Brown</i>. “What a <i>lot</i> you must have got!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_054.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_054.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>First Newspaper Boy. “Hullo, Bill! Who’s ’e?”</p>
-
-<p>Second Newspaper Boy. “I suppose ’e’s the North Pole as ’as just been
-Discovered!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_055.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_055.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“What Bait are yer usin’, Billie?”</p>
-
-<p>“Cheese.”</p>
-
-<p>“What are yer tryin’ ter catch&mdash;Mice?”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_056.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_056.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>A BI-METALLISTIC DISCUSSION.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Jim</i>. “What’s this ere ‘Bi-metallism,’ Bill?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Bill</i> (<i>of superior intelligence</i>). “Well, yer see, Jim, it’s heither a
-Licensed Wittlers’ or a Teetotal Dodge. The Wages’ll be paid in Silver,
-and no more Coppers. So you can’t get no arf-pint nor hanythink under a
-Sixpence or a Thrip’ny. Then you heither leaves it alone, and takes to
-Water like a Duck, or you runs up a score.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Jim</i>. “Ah! But if there ain’t no more Coppers, ’ow about the ’Buses and
-the Hunderground Rileway?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Bill</i> (<i>profoundly</i>). “Ah!” [Left sitting.</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_057.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_057.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p><i>First Genius to Second Genius</i>. “Why on Earth do you do
-your Hair in that absurd Fashion, Smith?”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_058.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_058.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“Oi tell yez Oi will <i>not</i> clane out me Cell. Oi’d lave
-the Jail furrst!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_059.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_059.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>Small Voice from under the Bed</i>. “<i>No</i>, I will <i>not</i>
-come out! I tell you, once and for all.”</p>
-
-<p>Bernesia. “I <i>will</i> be Master in my own House!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_060.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_060.jpg" width="449" height="533" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>Photographer</i>. “I think this is an excellent Portrait of
-your Wife.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Mr. Smallweed</i>. “I don’t know&mdash;sort of <i>repose</i> about the mouth that
-somehow doesn’t seem right”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_061.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_061.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“Where did yer spend yer ’Olidays, Bob?”</p>
-
-<p>“Souf o’ Frarnce, o’ course!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_062.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_062.jpg" height="590" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>HOSPITALITY.</p>
-
-<p><i>Spokesman of Working Men’s Club</i> (<i>on the occasion of their Patron’s
-first visit</i>). “And we ’opes, Sir, as this ’ll be <i>neither</i> the <i>first</i> nor
-the <i>last</i> time as you’ll dew us the honner of settin’ among us!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_063.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_063.jpg" width="473" height="529" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>SO INVITING!</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_064.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_064.jpg" height="569" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>’<i>Bus Conductor</i>, “Emmersmith! Emmersmith! ’Ere ye are!
-Emmersmith!”</p>
-
-<p>’<i>Liza Ann</i>. “Oo er yer callin’ Emmer Smith? Sorcy ’ound!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_065.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_065.jpg" height="591" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>Enthusiastic Briton</i> (<i>to seedy American, who has been
-running down all our National Monuments</i>). “But even if our Houses of
-Parliament ‘aren’t in it,’ as you say, with the Masonic Temple of
-Chicago, surely, Sir, you will admit the Thames Embankment, for
-instance&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p><i>Seedy American</i>. “Waal, <i>guess</i> I don’t think so durned much of your
-Thames Embankment, neither. It <i>rained</i> all the blarmed time the night I
-<i>slep</i> on it.”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_066.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_066.jpg" height="560" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“Gentlemen, I am ready to admit that his Career in the
-Past has not been free from Blemish&mdash;&mdash;”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_067.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_067.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p> FASHIONABLE AND SEASONABLE.</p>
-
-<p>Where to Sup <i>al fresco</i> in the Hottest Weather. The “<i>Whelkome</i> Club.”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_068.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_068.jpg" width="463" height="541" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“Tell your Fortune, Pretty Gentleman?”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_069.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_069.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption1"><p><i>Clerk of Booking-Office.</i> “There is
-<i>no</i> First Class by this Train, Sir.”</p>
-<p>
-’<i>Arry</i>. “Then wot are <i>we</i> going ter do, Bill?”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_070.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_070.jpg" height="590" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“THE ANCHOR’S WEIGHED.”</p>
-
-<p>(<i>Sketched on an Excursion Steamer.</i>)</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_071.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_071.jpg" width="366" height="545" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>SOCIAL EVOLUTION</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Tramp</i> (<i>to benevolent but inquisitive Lady</i>). “Well you see, Mum, it
-were like this. I were a ’Addick Smoker by profession; then I got ill,
-and ’ad to go to the ’Orspital; then I sold Cats’ Meat; but some’ow or
-other I got into <i>low water!</i>”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_072.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_072.jpg" height="563" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>A SKETCH NEAR PICCADILLY.</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_073.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_073.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p> THE MOTOR ’BUS.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Fussy Old Gent</i>. “Hi! Stop! stop! I want to get down.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Driver</i>. “<i>I</i> can’t stop the bloomin’ thing!!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_074.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_074.jpg" width="461" height="577" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“Poor likkle Doggie&mdash;hasn’t got any Fevvers on!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_075.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_075.jpg" height="593" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>SO VERY CONSIDERATE.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="caption1">
-<p><i>Stout Coster</i>. “Where are yer goin’ to, Bill?”</p>
-
-<p><i>Bill</i>. “Inter the Country for a nice Drive, bein’ Bank ’Olidy.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Stout Coster</i>. “Same ’ere. I sy! don’t yer think we might swop Misseses
-just for a few Hours? It would be so much kinder to the Hanimile!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_076.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_076.jpg" height="577" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p><i>Sexton</i> (<i>to a Divine, who was spending his holidays in
-the country, and who, on the sudden illness of the Village Parson,
-volunteered to take the duties</i>). “A worse Preacher would have done for
-us, Sir, <i>but we couldn’t get one</i>!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_077.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_077.jpg" height="563" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>ZOOLOGY.</p>
-
-<p>“That’s a Porkypine, Sarah.”</p>
-
-<p>“No, it ain’t, Bill. It’s a Orstridge!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_078.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_078.jpg" height="507" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS.</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_079.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_079.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p> SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS.</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_080.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_080.jpg" height="482" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, rest you merry Gentleman, May nothing you dismay!”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_081.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_081.jpg" height="416" alt="[Image unavailable.]" /></a>
-<div class="caption"><p>“A STUDY IN EXPRESSION.”</p></div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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