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diff --git a/old/63009-h/63009-h.htm b/old/63009-h/63009-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index 10e092a..0000000 --- a/old/63009-h/63009-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,2721 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> -<head> -<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1" /> -<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Araminta and the Automobile, by Charles Battell Loomis</title> -<link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; - clear: both; -} - -p { - margin-top: .51em; - text-align: justify; - margin-bottom: .49em; -} - -div.chapter {page-break-before: always;} -h2.nobreak {page-break-before: avoid;} - -div.titlepage {text-align: center; page-break-before: always; page-break-after: always;} -div.titlepage p {text-align: center; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.5; margin-top: 2em;} - -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 2em; - margin-left: 33.5%; - margin-right: 33.5%; - clear: both; -} - -hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} -hr.tb {width: 45%; margin-left: 27.5%; margin-right: 27.5%;} - - - -table { - margin-left: auto; - margin-right: auto; -} - - - .tdr {text-align: right;} - - -.pagenum { - position: absolute; - left: 92%; - font-size: smaller; - text-align: right; -} - -.center {text-align: center;} - -.gapright {padding-right: 10em;} - -.right {text-align: right;} - -.smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} - -.xxlarge {font-size: 175%;} -.xlarge {font-size: 150%;} -.large {font-size: 125%;} - -.ph1 {text-align: center; font-size: xx-large; font-weight: bold;} -.ph2 {text-align: center; font-size: large; font-weight: bold;} - -.caption {font-weight: bold; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2em; } - - -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; -} - -.transnote {background-color: #E6E6FA; - color: black; - font-size:smaller; - padding:0.5em; - margin-bottom:5em; - font-family:sans-serif, serif; } - - - h1.pgx { text-align: center; - clear: both; - font-weight: bold; - font-size: 190%; - margin-top: 0em; - margin-bottom: 1em; - word-spacing: 0em; - letter-spacing: 0em; - line-height: 1; } - h2.pgx { text-align: center; - clear: both; - font-weight: bold; - font-size: 135%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 1em; - word-spacing: 0em; - letter-spacing: 0em; - page-break-before: avoid; - line-height: 1; } - h3.pgx { text-align: center; - clear: both; - font-weight: bold; - font-size: 110%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 1em; - word-spacing: 0em; - letter-spacing: 0em; - line-height: 1; } - h4.pgx { text-align: center; - clear: both; - font-weight: bold; - font-size: 100%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 1em; - word-spacing: 0em; - letter-spacing: 0em; - line-height: 1; } - hr.pgx { width: 100%; - margin-top: 3em; - margin-bottom: 0em; - margin-left: auto; - margin-right: auto; - height: 4px; - border-width: 4px 0 0 0; /* remove all borders except the top one */ - border-style: solid; - border-color: #000000; - clear: both; } - </style> -</head> -<body> -<h1 class="pgx" title="">The Project Gutenberg eBook, Araminta and the Automobile, by Charles -Battell Loomis, Illustrated by Otto Lang</h1> -<p>This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States -and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no -restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it -under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this -eBook or online at <a -href="http://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you are not -located in the United States, you'll have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this ebook.</p> -<p>Title: Araminta and the Automobile</p> -<p> Araminta and the Automobile--The Deception of Martha Tucker--While the Automobile Ran Down</p> -<p>Author: Charles Battell Loomis</p> -<p>Release Date: August 22, 2020 [eBook #63009]</p> -<p>Language: English</p> -<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> -<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE***</p> -<p> </p> -<h4 class="pgx" title="">E-text prepared by D A Alexander, David E. Brown,<br /> - and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br /> - (<a href="http://www.pgdp.net">http://www.pgdp.net</a>)<br /> - from page images generously made available by<br /> - Internet Archive<br /> - (<a href="https://archive.org">https://archive.org</a>)</h4> -<p> </p> -<table border="0" style="background-color: #ccccff;margin: 0 auto;" cellpadding="10"> - <tr> - <td valign="top"> - Note: - </td> - <td> - Images of the original pages are available through - Internet Archive. See - <a href="https://archive.org/details/aramintaautomobi00loom"> - https://archive.org/details/aramintaautomobi00loom</a> - </td> - </tr> -</table> -<p> </p> -<hr class="pgx" /> -<p> </p> -<p> </p> -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/cover.jpg" width="50%" alt="" /></div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - - - - - - -<h1>ARAMINTA<br /> -AND THE AUTOMOBILE</h1> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_0" id="Page_0"></a></span></p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/i_frontispiece.jpg" alt="" /></div> -<p class="caption">Thornton, gesticulating wildly, disappeared round the corner</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<p><span class="xxlarge">ARAMINTA</span><br /> -<span class="xlarge">AND THE AUTOMOBILE</span></p> - -<p>BY<br /> - -<span class="xlarge">CHARLES BATTELL<br /> -LOOMIS</span></p> - -<p><span class="smcap">With Illustrations by</span><br /> -<span class="large">OTTO LANG</span></p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/i_title.jpg" alt="" /></div> - -<p><span class="smcap">New York</span><br /> -<span class="smcap">Thomas Y. Crowell & Co.</span><br /> -<span class="smcap">Publishers</span></p> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Copyright, 1903</i>,<br /> -<span class="smcap">By Henry Holt & Co.</span><br /> -<br /> -<i>Copyright, 1907</i>,<br /> -<span class="smcap">By Thomas Y. Crowell & Co.</span><br /> -<br /> -The stories in this volume were copyrighted separately, as follows:<br /> -<br /> -“Araminta and the Automobile,”<br /> -<i>Copyright, 1903</i>,<br /> -<span class="smcap">By The Saturday Evening Post, Philadelphia</span><br /> -<br /> -“The Deception of Martha Tucker,”<br /> -<i>Copyright, 1901</i>,<br /> -<span class="smcap">By The Century Co.</span><br /> -<br /> -“While the Automobile Ran Down,”<br /> -<i>Copyright, 1900</i>,<br /> -<span class="smcap">By The Century Co.</span><br /> -<br /> -<br /> -THE UNIVERSITY PRESS, CAMBRIDGE, U. S. A.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="chapter"> - - -<p><i>Mr. Reviewer and My Dear Readers,</i></p></div> - - -<p>I have been asked to say a few -words to you before you get busy with -my little book that is filled with -“Cheerful Americans” going out for -automobile rides.</p> - -<p>A generation or two ago, there was -a poor writer (I mean poor in this -world’s goods, of course) and he saw -people riding about in automobiles as -if they owned them, and it made him -wish he could ride about in one as -if he owned it. But he lacked the -nerve, so he had to be content with -trolleys.</p> - -<p>After a while he made believe that -he had bought an automobile, and he -rode around in it with “Araminta,” -and enjoyed the motion so much that -he set others to riding in automobiles -that he made himself in his study, and -he was much pleased at the way they -“went.”</p> - -<p>After a while he made a collection -of these stories and they went some -more, and now they are off for a cross -country trip that will undoubtedly -result in the critics saying of the writer, -“He has the pen of a Charles Dickens;” -or “he reminds one of Robert -Louis Stevenson at his best;” or “he -succeeds, as no man since Sir Walter -Scott has succeeded, in writing automobile -stories that cause the helpless -and fascinated reader to sit up all -night regardless of anything save the -flight of the machine;” or perhaps -they will say “the mantle of Bret Harte -has fallen upon him, and with the -possible exception of Nathaniel Hawthorne -no one has written such tales -of the clutch and brake and sparker.”</p> - -<p>Readers, need I tell you who that -poor writer was? The poor boy who -in 1865 had never even seen an automobile -stands before you, and his -name is</p> - - - -<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Charles Battell Loomis</span>.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="nobreak"> -<span class="smcap">Contents</span></h2></div> - -<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" summary="table"> - -<tr><td> </td><td class="tdr"><small>PAGE</small></td></tr> - -<tr><td><span class="smcap">Araminta and the Automobile</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_9"> 9</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td><span class="smcap">The Deception of Martha Tucker</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_29"> 29</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td><span class="smcap">While the Automobile Ran Down</span></td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_59"> 59</a></td></tr> -</table> - -<hr class="chap" /> - - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="smcap">Illustrations</span></h2></div> - - -<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" summary="table"> - -<tr><td> </td><td class="tdr"><small>PAGE</small></td></tr> - -<tr><td>Thornton, gesticulating wildly, disappeared -around the corner</td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_0"> <i>Frontispiece</i></a></td></tr> - -<tr><td>“Young man, experience teaches more in half -an hour than books or precepts do in a year”</td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_14"> 14</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td>She approached the horse’s head to pet him</td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_44"> 44</a></td></tr> - -<tr><td>He dropped upon his bed, feeling white about the gills</td><td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_88"> 88</a></td></tr> -</table> - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span> -<p class="ph1">ARAMINTA<br /> -<small>AND THE AUTOMOBILE</small></p></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span></p> -<hr class="chap" /> - - - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span> -<h2 class="nobreak"> -ARAMINTA<br /> - -<small>AND THE AUTOMOBILE</small></h2></div> - - -<p><span class="xlarge"><span class="smcap">Some</span></span> persons spend their surplus -on works of art; some spend it on -Italian gardens and pergolas; there -are those who sink it in golf, and I -have heard of those who expended -it on charity.</p> - -<p>None of these forms of getting -away with money appealed to Araminta -and myself. As soon as it -was ascertained that the automobile -was practicable and would not cost -a king’s ransom, I determined to -devote my savings to the purchase -of one.</p> - -<p>Araminta and I live in a suburban -town; she because she loves -Nature, and I because I love Araminta.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span> -We have been married for -five years.</p> - -<p>I am a bank clerk in New York, -and morning and night I go through -the monotony of railway travel, and -for one who is forbidden to use his -eyes on the train and who does not -play cards it <i>is</i> monotony, for in -the morning my friends are either -playing cards or else reading their -papers, and one does not like to -urge the claims of conversation on -one who is deep in politics or the -next play of his antagonist; so my -getting to business and coming back -are in the nature of purgatory. I -therefore hailed the automobile as a -Heaven-sent means of swift motion -with an agreeable companion, and -with no danger of encountering -either newspapers or cards. I have<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span> -seen neither reading nor card-playing -going on in any automobile.</p> - -<p>The community in which I live -is not progressive, and when I said -that I expected to buy an automobile -as soon as my ship came in I was -frowned upon by my neighbors. -Several of them have horses, and -all, or nearly all, have feet. The -horsemen were not more opposed -to my proposed ownership than the -footmen—I should say pedestrians. -They all thought automobiles dangerous -and a menace to public -peace, but of course I pooh-poohed -their fears and, being a person of a -good deal of stability of purpose, I -went on saving my money, and in -course of time I bought an automobile -of the electric sort.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span></p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/i_014.jpg" alt="" /></div> - -<p class="caption">“Young man, experience teaches more in half an hour than<br /> -books or precepts do in a year”</p> - -<p>Araminta is plucky, and I am -perfectly fearless. When the automobile -was brought home and -housed in the little barn that is on -our property, the man who had -backed it in told me that he had -orders to stay and show me how it -worked, but I laughed at him—good-naturedly -yet firmly. I said, -“Young man, experience teaches -more in half an hour than books or -precepts do in a year. A would-be -newspaper man does not go to a -school of journalism if he is wise; -he gets a position on a newspaper -and learns for himself, and through -his mistakes. I know that one of -these levers is to steer by, that another -lets loose the power, and -that there is a foot-brake. I also -know that the machine is charged,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span> -and I need to know no more. -Good-day.”</p> - - - -<p>Thus did I speak to the young -man, and he saw that I was a -person of force and discretion, and -he withdrew to the train and I -never saw him again.</p> - -<p>Araminta had been to Passaic -shopping, but she came back while -I was out in the barn looking at -my new purchase, and she joined -me there. I looked at her lovingly, -and she returned the look. -Our joint ambition was realized; -we were the owners of an automobile, -and we were going out that -afternoon.</p> - -<p>Why is it that cheap barns are -so flimsily built? I know that our -barn is cheap because the rent for -house and barn is less than what<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span> -many a clerk, city pent, pays for -a cramped flat; but again I ask, -why are they flimsily built? I have -no complaint to make. If my barn -had been built of good stout oak I -might to-day be in a hospital.</p> - -<p>It happened this way. Araminta -said, “Let me get in, and we will -take just a little ride to see how it -goes,” and I out of my love for -her said, “Wait just a few minutes, -dearest, until I get the hang -of the thing. I want to see how -much go she has and just how she -works.”</p> - -<p>Araminta has learned to obey -my slightest word, knowing that -love is at the bottom of all my -commands, and she stepped to one -side while I entered the gayly painted -vehicle and tried to move out of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span> -the barn. I moved out. But I -backed. Oh, blessed, cheaply built -barn. My way was not restricted -to any appreciable extent. I shot -gayly through the barn into the hen -yard, and the sound of the ripping -clapboards frightened the silly hens -who were enjoying a dust-bath, and -they fled in more directions than -there were fowls.</p> - -<p>I had not intended entering the -hen yard, and I did not wish to -stay there, so I kept on out, the -wire netting not being what an automobile -would call an obstruction. -I never lose my head, and when I -heard Araminta screaming in the -barn, I called out cheerily to her, -“I’ll be back in a minute, dear, -but I’m coming another way.”</p> - -<p>And I did come another way. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span> -came all sorts of ways. I really -don’t know what got into the machine, -but she now turned to the -left and made for the road, and then -she ran along on her two left -wheels for a moment, and then -seemed about to turn a somersault, -but changed her mind, and, still -veering to the left, kept on up the -road, passing my house at a furious -speed, and making for the open -country. With as much calmness -as I could summon I steered her, -but I think I steered her a little too -much, for she turned toward my -house.</p> - -<p>I reached one end of the front -piazza at the same time that Araminta -reached the other end of it. -I had the right of way, and she deferred -to me just in time. I removed<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span> -the vestibule storm door. It -was late in March, and I did not -think we should have any more -use for it that season. And we -didn’t.</p> - -<p>I had ordered a strongly built -machine, and I was now glad of it, -because a light and weak affair that -was merely meant to run along on -a level and unobstructed road would -not have stood the assault on my -piazza. Why, my piazza did not -stand it. It caved in, and made -work for an already overworked -local carpenter who was behind-hand -with his orders. After I had -passed through the vestibule, I applied -the brake and it worked. The -path is not a cinder one, as I think -them untidy, so I was not more -than muddied. I was up in an instant,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span> -and looked at the still enthusiastic -machine with admiration.</p> - -<p>“Have you got the hang of it?” -said Araminta.</p> - -<p>Now that’s one thing I like about -Araminta. She does not waste -words over non-essentials. The -point was not that I had damaged -the piazza. I needed a new one, -anyway. The main thing was that -I was trying to get the hang of the -machine, and she recognized that -fact instantly.</p> - -<p>I told her that I thought I had, -and that if I had pushed the lever -in the right way at first, I should -have come out of the barn in a more -conventional way.</p> - -<p>She again asked me to let her -ride, and as I now felt that I -could better cope with the curves<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span> -of the machine I allowed her to -get in.</p> - -<p>“Don’t lose your head,” said I.</p> - -<p>“I hope I sha’n’t,” said she, -dryly.</p> - -<p>“Well, if you have occasion to -leave me, drop over the back. Never -jump ahead. That is a fundamental -rule in runaways of all kinds.”</p> - -<p>Then we started, and I ran the -motor along for upward of half a -mile after I had reached the highway, -which I did by a short cut -through a field at the side of our -house. There is only a slight rail -fence surrounding it, and my machine -made little of that. It really -seemed to delight in what some -people would have called danger.</p> - -<p>“Araminta, are you glad that I -saved up for this?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span>“I am mad with joy,” said the -dear thing, her face flushed with -excitement mixed with expectancy. -Nor were her expectations to be -disappointed. We still had a good -deal to do before we should have -ended our first ride.</p> - -<p>So far I had damaged property -to a certain extent, but I had no -one but myself to reckon with, and -I was providing work for people. -I always have claimed that he who -makes work for two men where -there was only work for one before, -is a public benefactor, and that -day I was the friend of carpenters -and other mechanics.</p> - -<p>Along the highway we flew, our -hearts beating high, but never in -our mouths, and at last we saw a -team approaching us. By “a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span> -team” I mean a horse and buggy. -I was raised in Connecticut, where -a team is anything you choose to -call one.</p> - -<p>The teamster saw us. Well, perhaps -I should not call him a teamster -(although he was one logically): -he was our doctor, and, as I say, he -saw us.</p> - -<p>Now I think it would have been -friendly in him, seeing that I was -more or less of a novice at the art -of automobiling, to have turned to -the left when he saw that I was -inadvertently turning to the left, -but the practice of forty years added -to a certain native obstinacy made -him turn to the right, and he met -me at the same time that I met -him.</p> - -<p>The horse was not hurt, for which<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span> -I am truly glad, and the doctor -joined us, and continued with us -for a season, but his buggy was -demolished.</p> - -<p>Of course I am always prepared -to pay for my pleasure, and though -it was not, strictly speaking, my -pleasure to deprive my physician -of his turn-out, yet if he <i>had</i> turned -out it wouldn’t have happened—and, -as I say, I was prepared to get -him a new vehicle. But he was -very unreasonable; so much so -that, as he was crowding us—for -the seat was not built for more than -two, and he is stout—I at last told -him that I intended to turn around -and carry him home, as we were -out for pleasure, and he was giving -us pain.</p> - -<p>I will confess that the events of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span> -the last few minutes had rattled -me somewhat, and I did not feel -like turning just then, as the road -was narrow. I knew that the road -turned of its own accord a half-mile -farther on, and so I determined -to wait.</p> - -<p>“I want to get out,” said the -doctor tartly, and just as he said -so Araminta stepped on the brake, -accidentally. The doctor got out—in -front. With great presence -of mind I reversed, and so we did -not run over him. But he was -furious and sulphurous, and that -is why I have changed to homeopathy. -He was the only allopathic -doctor in Brantford.</p> - -<p>I suppose that if I had stopped -and apologized, he would have made -up with me, and I would not have<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span> -got angry with him; but I couldn’t -stop. The machine was now going -as she had done when I left -the barn, and we were backing into -town.</p> - -<p>Through it all I did not lose my -coolness. I said: “Araminta, look -out behind, which is ahead for us, -and if you have occasion to jump -now, do it in front, which is behind,” -and Araminta understood -me.</p> - -<p>She sat sideways, so that she -could see what was going on, but -that might have been seen from -any point of view, for we were -the only things going on—or -backing.</p> - -<p>Pretty soon we passed the wreck -of the buggy, and then we saw the -horse grazing on dead grass by the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span> -roadside, and at last we came on a -few of our townfolk who had seen -us start, and were now come out to -welcome us home. But I did not -go home just then. I should have -done so if the machine had minded -me and turned in at our driveway, -but it did not.</p> - -<p>Across the way from us there is -a fine lawn leading up to a beautiful -greenhouse full of rare orchids -and other plants. It is the pride -of my very good neighbor, Jacob -Rawlinson.</p> - -<p>The machine, as if moved by -<i>malice prepense</i>, turned just as we -came to the lawn, and began to -back at railroad speed.</p> - -<p>I told Araminta that if she was -tired of riding, now was the best -time to stop; that she ought not to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span> -overdo it, and that I was going to -get out myself as soon as I had seen -her off.</p> - -<p>I saw her off.</p> - -<p>Then after one ineffectual jab at -the brake, I left the machine hurriedly, -and as I sat down on the -sposhy lawn I heard a tremendous -but not unmusical sound of falling -glass....</p> - -<p>I tell Araminta that it isn’t the -running of an automobile that is -expensive. It is the stopping of -it.</p> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span></p> - -<p class="ph1"> -<small>THE DECEPTION OF</small><br /> -MARTHA TUCKER</p> - -<p class="ph2">AN AUTOMOBILE EXTRAVAGANZA -</p></div> - - - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span> -<h2 class="nobreak"> -<small>THE DECEPTION OF</small><br /> - -MARTHA TUCKER<br /> - -<small>AN AUTOMOBILE EXTRAVAGANZA</small></h2></div> - - -<p><span class="xxlarge"><span class="smcap">It</span></span> was not that Martha Tucker -was particularly fond of horses -so much as that she was afraid of -automobiles of every sort, kind, -or description. That was why she -said that she would never consent -to her husband’s purchasing a motor -carriage.</p> - -<p>“Horses were good enough for -my father, and I guess that horses -will do for me as long as I live and -John is able to keep them,” said -she to various friends on numerous -occasions.</p> - -<p>But if she was ridiculously old-fashioned -in her notions, John was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span> -not, and he cast about in his mind -for some way to circumvent Martha -without her knowing it. The thing -would have been easy to do if it -had not been for the fact that they -were a very loving couple. John -seldom went anywhere without -taking his wife along, and as his -business was of such a nature that -he carried it on under his roof-tree, -he was unable to speed along in -happy loneliness on a locomobile or -electric motor. Besides all this, -John Tucker’s conscience was such -a peculiar affair that if he hoodwinked -Martha it must be in her -sight.</p> - -<p>The Tuckers always spent their -summers at Arlinberg, the roads -around which were famous for -driving; and almost their only out-door<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span> -recreation, aside from wandering -afoot in the fields, was found in -riding behind any one or two of -his half-dozen horses. The fact -that he was abundantly able to -maintain the most expensive automobile -extant made it doubly hard -for John to abstain from the use -of one.</p> - -<p>“I gave up smoking to please -Martha when we first married, but -I do not intend to give up the idea -of running an automobile of my -own, just because she has the -old-fogy notions of the Hiltons in -her blood. Her father never rode -in a steam-car, although the road -passed by his back door, and all -the Hiltons are old-fogyish—which -sums up their faults.”</p> - -<p>John said this to an old school-mate<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span> -who was spending a Sunday -at his house.</p> - -<p>“Wouldn’t she try one of your -neighbor’s automobiles, and see how -she likes it?”</p> - -<p>“No, sir; her no is a no. But -I mean to ride in one with her -sometime, if I have to blindfold her -and tell her it’s a baby-carriage.”</p> - -<p>It may have been a week after -this conversation that John and -Martha wandered in the woods -picking wild flowers, and Mrs. -Tucker was inoculated with ivy-poisoning -that settled in her eyes, -so that for several days she was -confined to her room, and when -she came out she was told by her -doctor to wear smoked glasses for -a week or two, her eyes still being -inflamed and very painful. “Keep<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span> -outdoors; go riding as much as -you can, but don’t take off the -glasses until the inflammation has -entirely subsided,” said he.</p> - -<p>John was sincerely sorry for his -wife’s misfortune, but when he -heard that she would see through -a glass darkly for the matter of a -week or two, he made up his mind -to act and act quickly.</p> - -<p>They went out for a ride that he -might test her vision. The horse -he was driving was a gray, Roanoke -by name.</p> - -<p>“My dear,” said Mr. Tucker, -“don’t you think that the gait of -this black horse is very like that of -Roanoke?”</p> - -<p>“I’m sure I can’t tell,” said -Martha. “With these dismal -glasses on I’m not quite sure<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span> -whether it’s a horse or a cow in -the harness. I get a hazy outline -of some animal, but no -color and little form. Don’t ever -touch poison-ivy if you value your -sight.”</p> - -<p>“Well, the doctor says you’ll -be all right in a week or two. By -the way, Martha, I’m going to run -down to New York to-morrow on -business. I’ll be back in the -evening. If your eyes were all -right you might come along, but -as it is, I guess you’d better not go -down.”</p> - -<p>“No; driving around with James -will do me more good than a stuffy -train. Come home as soon as you -can, dear, and—” She hesitated. -“I hate the old things, but if you -are so set on trying one of those<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span> -automobiles, why don’t you do it -to-morrow, when you are in New -York?”</p> - -<p>“Why, I believe I will, my dear. -I wish I could overcome your prejudice -against them.”</p> - -<p>“But you can’t, dear, so don’t -try.”</p> - -<p>When Mr. Tucker reached New -York, the first thing that he did was -to visit an automobile repository.</p> - -<p>“Would it be possible for you -to let me have an automobile that -could be operated from behind, so -that my wife and I could sit in front -and simply enjoy the ride?”</p> - -<p>“Why, certainly,” said the man. -“We have every style known to -the most advanced makers.”</p> - - - -<p>“And could I have shafts attached -to it, so that if it broke down<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span> -I could call in the services of some -horse?”</p> - -<p>“But, sir, our machines never -break down. That is why we -are selling one every minute in -the working-day. Our agents are -located in every known city of -the earth, and our factories are -running day and night, and in -spite of it we are falling behind in -our orders in a rapidly increasing -ratio.”</p> - -<p>“Is that so?” said Mr. Tucker, -turning to leave the store. “Then -I’m afraid I’ll have to go elsewhere, -as I wanted one shipped to me to-morrow -or next day. A birthday -present for my wife, you understand.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, I suppose,” said the wily -salesman, “that I <i>could</i> let you in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span> -ahead of your turn if the payment -were cash.”</p> - -<p>“Of course the payment will be -cash. That’s the only way I ever -pay.”</p> - -<p>A half-hour from that time -John Tucker was being propelled -through New York’s busy streets in -a smoothly running, almost noiseless, -automobile worked from -behind, and its way led down to -a harness store in Chambers Street. -As yet there were no shafts, but he -had provided for a pair.</p> - -<p>Mr. Tucker went into the harness-store. -“Good-day,” said he. -“I want to buy a wooden horse -like the one out in front, only covered -with horse-skin.”</p> - -<p>“Well, sir,” said the clerk, -“we don’t manufacture them ourselves<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span> -but we can order one for you. -Going into the harness business?”</p> - -<p>“No, but I want to try an experiment. -Would it be possible -for me to have a mechanical horse -built that would move its legs in a -passable imitation of trotting?”</p> - -<p>“Nowadays everything is possible,” -said the salesman; “but it -would be very expensive.”</p> - -<p>“Well, I’ll tell you just what I -want it for,” said Mr. Tucker, and -entered into details concerning Mrs. -Tucker’s aversion to automobiles, -her ivy-poisoning, and his scheme. -The clerk seemed interested.</p> - -<p>“If the lady’s eyes are as inflamed -as all that,” said he, “she -would not notice the lack of natural -motion, and it would be easy to -place a contrivance inside of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span> -figure that would imitate the sound -of trotting, and your wife’s imagination -would do the rest. But I -think that your idea of having the -horse on a platform like the one -out front is not a good one. If the -platform struck a rock in the road -it would knock the whole thing to -smithereens. Better place smallish -wheels on the inner side of the -ankles, fix the hind legs so they -will be jointed at the thighs, and -then you can run up hill and down -dale with no trouble.”</p> - -<p>Mr. Tucker clapped his hands -like a boy. “That’s fine! My -wife will get thoroughly used to an -automobile without knowing she is -riding in one, and then when she -recovers the use of her eyes I’ll -give the wooden horse a well-earned<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span> -rest. Call up that factory -on the ’phone, and I’ll order my -hobby-horse at once. You think -that I can get it in a day or two?”</p> - -<p>“It’s only a question of expense, -sir, and you say that is nothing.”</p> - -<p>“Of course it’s nothing. Nothing -is anything if I can take my -wife out automobiling without her -knowing it.”</p> - -<p>Three days later Mr. Tucker -said to his wife at luncheon:</p> - -<p>“My dear, as this is your birthday, -I have given myself the pleasure -of buying you a new horse and -wagon, and it will be ready for us -to go out in half an hour.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, you dear, thoughtful -man!” said Mrs. Tucker, beaming as -well as she was able to through her -smoked glasses. Then she rose<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span> -and gave him a kiss that made him -feel that he was a guilty wretch to -be meditating the deception of such -a lovable wife. But he had gone -too far to retrace his steps now, -and he eased his feelings with the -thought that the end would -justify the means.</p> - -<p>“You are always doing things to -please me,” said she.</p> - -<p>“No such thing,” he replied. -“You may not like this horse as -well as you like Roanoke or Charley, -but it is quite a swagger turn-out, -and I’ve decided to have James -go with us and sit behind on the -rumble.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, but, my dear, we will -not be driving alone if he is with -us.”</p> - -<p>“Nonsense! We’ve been married<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span> -twenty years, and anyhow -James is a graven image. He -will not know we are along.” -(“He will be too busy running -the thing,” added Mr. Tucker -mentally.)</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/i_044.jpg" alt="" /></div> - -<p class="caption">She approached the horse’s head to pet him</p> - -<p>A half-hour later Mr. Tucker announced -to his wife that he was -ready, and she put a few finishing -touches to her toilet, bathed her -eyes with witch-hazel, adjusted her -smoked glasses, and went out to -the porte-cochère.</p> - - - -<p>She dimly discerned the horse, -the wagon, the groom at the horse’s -head, and her husband. There -was an indescribably swagger look -about the equipage, and she wished -that she could take off her glasses -and gloat over her new possession, -but the doctor’s orders had been<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span> -imperative. She did, however, approach -the horse’s head to pet him, -but her husband said: “Don’t, -dear. He may not like women. -Wait until he is used to us before -you try to coddle him.”</p> - - - -<p>They stepped to their seats; the -groom left the horse’s head and -handed the reins to Mr. Tucker, -mounted the rumble, and off they -started.</p> - -<p>“Why, it’s like sailing,” said -Mrs. Tucker.</p> - -<p>“Pneumatic tires, my dear,” -answered her husband glibly.</p> - -<p>“And how rhythmical the horse’s -hoof-beats are!”</p> - -<p>“An evidence of blood, my darling. -I know this horse’s pedigree: -by Carpenter out of Chestnut—”</p> - -<p>“Oh, don’t. I never cared for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span> -those long genealogies. Whether -he has blood or not, he is certainly -the smoothest traveller I -ever saw.”</p> - -<p>They had been skilfully guided -along the winding path that led to -the highway by the chauffeur, who, -although he was a James, was not -the James who generally worked -in the stable, but a James hired at -the office of the company in order -that he might break in the <i>local</i> -James.</p> - -<p>After they reached the road the -way for a mile or more was clear -and straight, and they met with no -teams. The horse was wonderfully -lifelike, except in his action, -or rather lack of action, for his -forefeet were eternally in an attitude -of rest. The hind legs rose<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span> -and fell with the inequalities of the -road, and his mane and tail waved -in the breeze like the real horsehair -that they were.</p> - -<p>“This is the poetry of motion,” -said Mrs. Tucker. “I don’t believe -you’ll ever find an automobile -that can run like this.”</p> - -<p>“I’ll admit that I wouldn’t wish -one to go better. Are you all right -back there, James?”</p> - -<p>“All right, sir.”</p> - -<p>“Why, how queer James’ voice -sounds! I never noticed that squeak -in it before.”</p> - -<p>“It’s the exhilarating effect of -our fast driving. Do you think -that you could stand a faster pace?”</p> - -<p>“Why, if you’re not afraid of -tiring the horse. He seems to be -going like the wind now.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span>“Oh, he won’t mind. Faster, -James.”</p> - -<p>“Why do you say that to James? -Did you think <i>he</i> was driving, you -absent-minded dear, you?”</p> - -<p>“I did, for the moment.”</p> - -<p>James was <i>sure</i> he was driving, -and at this command from his employer -he put on almost the full -force of the electricity. The wagon -gave a leap forward, and turning -into a macadamized road at this -point, they went along at the rate -of twenty miles an hour.</p> - -<p>Mrs. Tucker clutched her husband’s -arm. “John, his speed is -uncanny. We seem to be going -like an express-train!”</p> - -<p>“It’s the smoothness of the road -and his perfect breeding, my dear. -Do you notice that this furious gait<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span> -does not seem to affect his wind at -all?”</p> - -<p>“No, I hadn’t noticed it; but -isn’t it queer how regular his hoof-beats -are? and they do not seem to -quicken their rate at all.”</p> - -<p>John had noticed this, too, and -he had regretted not having told -the manufacturer to arrange the -mechanism so that the hoof-beats -would become more or less rapid -according to the gait; but he answered -quickly:</p> - -<p>“That, my dear, is because he -reaches farther and farther. You -know some breeds of horses gain -speed by quickening their gait. This -horse gains it by a lengthened reach. -He is a remarkable animal. Actually, -my dear, we are overtaking a -locomobile.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span>“Oh, John, is he used to these -horrid steam-wagons?”</p> - -<p>“Nothing will frighten this horse, -Martha. You can rest assured of -that.”</p> - -<p>A minute later they passed the -locomobile. If Mrs. Tucker could -have seen the codfish eyes of the -occupant of the vehicle when he -saw a hobby-horse going by at the -rate of twenty miles an hour, she -would have questioned his sanity. -If she could have seen the scared -looks and the scared horse of the -people in the approaching buggy -she would have begun to wonder -what possessed her new possession. -But her goggles saved her from -present worry, and the buggy was -passed in a flash.</p> - -<p>“Oh, I do wish I could take off<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span> -my glasses for a minute so that I -could enjoy this rapid motion to the -full! How the trees must be spinning -by!”</p> - -<p>“Don’t touch your glasses,” -said Mr. Tucker, hurriedly. “If a -speck of dust or a pebble were to -get into your eye, you might become -permanently blind. Positively, -you are like a child with a -new rocking-horse. This turn-out -will keep until your eyes are fully -recovered, and I hope we may -enjoy many a spin in this easy -carriage, with or without this -horse.”</p> - -<p>“Never without him, dear. -After the delight of this swift -motion I never would go back to -lazy Roanoke or skittish Charley. -I have never ridden in any carriage<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span> -that pleased me like this -one.”</p> - -<p>“She’s a convert already without -knowing it,” said her husband -to himself, but her next remark -dispelled his illusion.</p> - -<p>“How can any one like a noisy -automobile better than this? You -can’t improve on nature. By the -way, I forgot to ask you if you -rode in one the other day in New -York.”</p> - -<p>“To be sure. I <i>didn’t</i> tell you, -did I? It was really almost as nice -as this, although the traffic impeded -us some. Oh, James, look -out!”</p> - -<p>This interruption was involuntary -on the part of Mr. Tucker, and -his words were not noticed by his -wife in the confusion of that which<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span> -followed. They were going down -a hill at a fearful rate, when the off -foreleg of the wooden horse became -a veritable off foreleg, for it -hit a log of wood that had dropped -from a teamster’s cart not five minutes -before, and broke off at the -knee. The jar almost threw Mrs. -Tucker out; she grasped the dashboard -to save herself, and caught a -momentary glimpse of the oddly -working haunches of the imitation -beast.</p> - -<p>“Oh, John, he’s running -away!”</p> - -<p>Now, this was not quite accurate, -for he was being pushed -away by a runaway automobile. -Mr. Tucker noticed the increased -speed and turned to admonish -James.</p> - - - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span>James had left.</p> - -<p>The departure of James was coincident -with the collision, and he -was at that moment extricating -himself from a sapling into which -he had been pitched. He yelled -directions to Mr. Tucker which -lacked carrying power.</p> - -<p>The vehicle had now come to a -turn in the road, and not receiving -any impulse to the contrary, it -made for a stone wall that lay before -it. Mr. Tucker knew nothing -about the working of the machine, -but with admirable presence of -mind he seized a projecting rod, -and the wagon turned to the left -with prompt obedience, but so suddenly -that it ran upon two wheels -and nearly upset.</p> - -<p>So far so good, but now what<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span> -should he do? To get over to the -back seat was either to give the -whole thing away, or else make -Mrs. Tucker question his courage.</p> - -<p>He was too obstinate to disclose -his secret until he should be forced -to, so he sat still and awaited developments. -Developments do not -keep you waiting long when you -are in a runaway automobile, and -in just one minute by his watch, -although he did not time it, the -end came.</p> - -<p>Too late to do any good, John -Tucker jumped over the back of -the seat, because he saw the wooden -horse again approaching a stonewall -beyond which lay a frog pond.</p> - -<p>He pulled the lever as before, -but he could not have pulled it -hard enough, for the next moment<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span> -there was a shock, and then Mrs. -Tucker sailed like a sprite through -the air and landed in the water -like a nymph, while some kindling -wood in a horsehair skin was -all that was left of Mr. Tucker’s -thoroughbred.</p> - -<p>Mr. Tucker was not hurt by the -impact, for he had grasped an overhanging -bough and saved himself. -He dropped to earth, vaulted a -stone wall, and rescued the fainting -figure of his wife. The kindly -services of a farmer procured her -the shelter of a neighboring farm-house.</p> - -<p>Mr. Tucker knew from past experiences -that his wife was an easy -fainter, and after assuring himself -that no bones were broken he left -her for a few minutes that he might<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span> -run out to seek for James, who -might be at death’s door.</p> - -<p>He found him gazing upon the -ruins of the wooden horse.</p> - -<p>Upon learning that the man was -uninjured he drew a bill from his -pocket and said: “My boy, here’s -money for your expenses and your -wages, and if there is any go in -this machine, run her to New York -and tell your people that they can -have her as a gift. I am through -with automobiles.”</p> - -<p>But a half-hour later Mrs. -Tucker, fully conscious but somewhat -weak, sat up on the bed in the -farmer’s best chamber and said:</p> - -<p>“John, I think that if it had -been a horseless automobile it -wouldn’t have been so bad.”</p> - -<p>Whereupon John overtook James<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span> -just setting out for New York, and -gave him an order for one horseless -automobile.</p> - -<p>And now John is convinced that -his wife is a thoroughbred.</p> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span> - -<p class="ph1"> -WHILE THE<br /> -AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN</p> - -<p class="ph2">A CHRISTMAS EXTRAVAGANZA</p></div> - - - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span> -<h2 class="nobreak"> -WHILE THE<br /> - -AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN<br /> - -<small>A CHRISTMAS EXTRAVAGANZA</small></h2></div> - - -<p><span class="xxlarge"><span class="smcap">It</span></span> was a letter to encourage -a hesitating lover, and certainly -Orville Thornton, author of -“Thoughts for Non-Thinkers,” -came under that head. He received -it on a Tuesday, and immediately -made up his mind to -declare his intentions to Miss -Annette Badeau that evening.</p> - -<p>But perhaps the contents of the -letter will help the reader to a better -understanding of the case.</p> - -<blockquote> - -<p><span class="smcap">Dear Orville</span>: Miss Badeau sails -unexpectedly for Paris on the day -after Christmas, her aunt Madge having -cabled her to come and visit her.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span> -Won’t you come to Christmas dinner? -I’ve invited the Joe Burtons, and of -course Mr. Marten will be there, but -no others—except Miss Badeau.</p> - -<p>Dinner will be at sharp seven. -Don’t be late, although I know you -won’t, you human time-table.</p> - -<p>I do hope that Annette will not -fall in love in Paris. I wish that she -would marry some nice New Yorker -and settle near me.</p> - -<p>I’ve always thought that you have -neglected marriage shamefully.</p> - -<p>Remember to-morrow night, and -Annette sails on Thursday. Wishing -you a Merry Christmas, I am,</p> - -<p class="right"> -<span class="gapright">Your old friend,</span><br /> -<span class="smcap">Henrietta Marten</span>. -</p></blockquote> - -<p>Annette Badeau had come across -the line of Orville’s vision three -months before. She was Mrs. -Marten’s niece, and had come from -the West to live with her aunt at<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span> -just about the time that the success -of Thornton’s book made him -think of marriage.</p> - -<p>She was pretty and bright and -expansive in a Western way, and -when Thornton met her at one of -the few afternoon teas that he ever -attended he fell in love with her. -When he learned that she was the -niece of his lifelong friend, Mrs. -Marten, he suddenly discovered -various reasons why he should call -at the Marten house once or twice -a week.</p> - -<p>But a strange habit he had of -putting off delightful moments in -order to enjoy anticipation to its -fullest extent had caused him to refrain -from disclosing the state of -his heart to Miss Badeau, and so -that young woman, who had fallen<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span> -in love with him even before she -knew that he was the gifted author -of “Thoughts for Non-Thinkers,” -often wished to herself that she -could in some way give him a hint -of the state of <i>her</i> heart.</p> - -<p>Orville received Mrs. Marten’s -letter on Christmas Eve, and its -contents made him plan a schedule -for the next evening’s running. No -power on earth could keep him -away from that dinner, and he immediately -sent a telegram of regret -to the Bell-wether of the Wolves’ -Club, although he had been anticipating -the Christmas gorge for a -month.</p> - -<p>He also sent a messenger with -a note of acceptance to Mrs. -Marten....</p> - -<p>Then he joined the crowd of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span> -persons who always wait until -Christmas Eve before buying the -presents that stern and unpleasant -duty makes it necessary to get.</p> - -<p>It would impart a characteristic -Christmas flavor if it were possible -to cover the ground with snow, -and to make the air merry with the -sound of flashing belts of silvery -sleighbells on prancing horses; but -although Christmases in stories are -always snowy and frosty and sparkling -with ice-crystals, Christmases -in real life are apt to be damp and -humid. Let us be thankful that -this Christmas was merely such a -one as would not give a ghost of a -reason for a trip to Florida. The -mercury stood at 58, and even -light overcoats were not things to -be put on without thought.</p> - - - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span>Orville knew what he wished to -get and where it was sold, and so -he had an advantage over ninety-nine -out of a hundred of the -anxious-looking shoppers who were -scuttling from shop to shop, burdened -with bundles, and making -the evening the worst in the year -for tired sales-girls and -men.</p> - -<p>Orville’s present was not exactly -Christmassy, but he hoped that -Miss Badeau would like it, and it -was certainly the finest one on the -velvet tray. Orville, it will be seen, -was of a sanguine disposition.</p> - -<p>He did not hang up his stocking; -he had not done that for several -years; but he did dream that -Santa Claus brought him a beautiful -doll from Paris, and just as he -was saying, “There must be some<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span> -mistake,” the doll turned into Miss -Badeau and said: “No, I’m for -you. Merry Christmas!” Then -he woke up and thought how foolish -and yet how fascinating dreams -are.</p> - -<p>Christmas morning was spent in -polishing up an old essay on “The -Value of the Summer as an Invigorator.” -It had long been a habit -of his to work over old stuff on his -holidays, and if he was about to -marry he would need to sell everything -he had—of a literary-marketable -nature. But this -morning a vision of a lovely girl -who on the morrow was going to -sail thousands of miles away came -between him and the page, and at -last he tossed the manuscript into -a drawer and went out for a walk.</p> - - - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span>It was the draggiest Christmas -he had ever known, and the warmest. -He dropped in at the club, but -there was hardly any one there; -still, he did manage to play a few -games of billiards, and at last -the clock announced that it was -time to go home and dress for the -Christmas dinner.</p> - -<p>It was half-past live when he left -the club. It was twenty minutes -to six when he slipped on a piece -of orange-peel, and measured his -length on the sidewalk. He was -able to rise and hobble up the steps -on one foot, but the hall-boy had to -help him to the elevator and thence -to his room. He dropped upon -his bed, feeling white about the -gills.</p> - -<p>Orville was a most methodical<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span> -man. He planned his doings days -ahead and seldom changed his -schedule. But it seemed likely -that unless he was built of sterner -stuff than most of the machines -called men, he would not run out -of the round-house to-night. His -fall had given his foot a nasty -wrench.</p> - -<p>Some engineers, to change the -simile, would have argued that the -engine was off the track, and that -therefore the train was not in running -condition; but Orville merely -changed engines. His own steam -having been cut off, he ordered an -automobile for twenty minutes to -seven; and after he had bathed and -bandaged his ankle he determined, -with a grit worthy of the cause that -brought it forth, to attend that dinner<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span> -even if he paid for it in the -hospital, with Annette as special -nurse.</p> - -<p>Old Mr. Nickerson, who lived -across the hall, had heard of his -misfortune, and called to proffer -his services.</p> - -<p>“Shall I help you get to bed?” -said he.</p> - -<p>“I am not due in bed, Mr. Nickerson, -for many hours; but if you -will give me a few fingers of your -excellent old Scotch with the bouquet -of smoked herring, I will go -on dressing for dinner.”</p> - -<p>“Dear boy,” said the old gentleman -almost tearfully, “it is impossible -for you to venture on your -foot with such a sprain. It is badly -swollen.”</p> - -<p>“Mr. Nickerson, my heart has<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span> -received a worse wrench than my -foot has, therefore I go out to -dine.” At sound of which enigmatical -declaration Mr. Nickerson -hurried off for the old Scotch, -and in a few minutes Orville’s -faintness had passed off, and with -help from the amiable old man he -got into his evening clothes—with -the exception of his left foot, which -was encased in a flowered slipper of -sunset red.</p> - -<p>“Now, my dear Mr. Nickerson, -I’m a thousand times obliged to -you, and if I can get you to help -me hop downstairs I will wait for -the automobile on the front stoop.” -(Orville had been born in Brooklyn, -where they still have “stoops.”) -“I’m on time so far.”</p> - -<p>But if Orville was on time, the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span> -automobile was not, the driver not -being a methodical man; and when -it did come, it was all the motor-man -could do to stop it. It seemed -restive.</p> - -<p>“You ought to shut off on the -oats,” said Orville gayly, from his -seat on the lowest step of the -“stoop.”</p> - -<p>The picture of a gentleman in -immaculate evening clothes with -the exception of a somewhat rococo -carpet slipper, seemed to amuse -some street children who were passing. -If they could have followed -the “auto” they would have been -even more diverted, but such was -not to be their fortune. Mr. Nickerson -helped his friend into the -vehicle, and the driver started at -a lively rate for Fifth Avenue.</p> - - - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span>Orville lived in Seventeenth -Street, near Fifth Avenue; Mrs. -Marten lived on Fifth Avenue, -near Fortieth Street. Thirty-eighth -Street and Thirty-ninth -Street were reached and passed -without further incident than the -fact that Orville’s ankle pained -him almost beyond the bearing-point; -but, as it is not the history -of a sprained ankle that I am writing, -if the vehicle had stopped at -Mrs. Marten’s my pen would not -have been set to paper.</p> - -<p>But the motor-wagon did not -even pause. It kept on as if the -Harlem River were to be its next -stop.</p> - -<p>Orville had stated the number of -his destination with distinctness, -and he now rang the annunciator<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span> -and asked the driver why he did -not stop.</p> - -<p>Calmly, in the even tones that -clear-headed persons use when they -wish to inspire confidence, the -chauffeur said: “Don’t be alarmed, -sir, but I can’t stop. There’s something -out of kilter, and I may have -to run some time before I can get -the hang of it. There’s no danger -as long as I can steer.”</p> - -<p>“Can’t you slacken up in -front of the house, so that I can -jump?”</p> - -<p>“With that foot, sir? Impossible, -and, anyway, I can’t slacken -up. I think we’ll stop soon. I -don’t know when it was charged, -but a gentleman had it before I was -sent out with it. It won’t be long, -I think. I’ll run around the block,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span> -and maybe I can stop the next -time.”</p> - -<p>Orville groaned for a twofold -reason: his ankle was jumping with -pain, and he would lose the pleasure -of taking Miss Badeau in to -dinner, for it was a minute past -seven.</p> - -<p>He sat and gazed at his carpet -slipper, and thought of the daintily -shod feet of the adorable Annette, -as the horseless carriage wound -around the block. As they approached -the house again, Orville -imagined that they were slackening -up, and he opened the door to be -ready. It was now three minutes -past seven, and dinner had begun -beyond a doubt. The driver saw -the door swing open, and said: -“Don’t jump, sir. I can’t stop<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span> -yet. I’m afraid there’s a good -deal of run in the machine.”</p> - -<p>Orville looked up at the brownstone -front of the house with an -agonized stare, as if he would pull -Mrs. Marten to the window by the -power of his eyes. But Mrs. Marten -was not in the habit of pressing -her nose against the pane in an -anxious search for tardy guests. -In fact, it may be asserted with -confidence that it is not a Fifth -Avenue custom.</p> - -<p>At that moment the purée was -being served to Mrs. Marten’s -guests, and to pretty Annette Badeau, -who really looked disconsolate -with the vacant chair beside -her.</p> - -<p>“Something has happened to -Orville,” said Mrs. Marten, looking<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span> -over her shoulder toward the -hall door, “for he is punctuality -itself.”</p> - -<p>Mr. Joe Burton was a short, -red-faced little man, with black -mutton-chop whiskers of the style -of ’76, and a way of looking in the -most cheerful manner upon the -dark side of things. “Dessay -he’s been run over,” said he choppily. -“Wonder anyone escapes. -Steam-, gasoline-, electric-, horseflesh-, -man-propelled juggernauts. -Ought to be prohibited.”</p> - -<p>Annette could not repress a shudder. -Her aunt saw it and said: -“Orville will never be run over. -He’s too wide-awake. But it is -very singular.”</p> - -<p>“He may have been detained by -an order for a story,” said Mr.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span> -Marten, also with the amiable purpose -of consoling Annette, for both -of the Martens knew how she felt -toward Mr. Thornton.</p> - -<p>“Maybe he’s lying on the front -sidewalk, hit by a sign or bitten -by a dog. Dogs ought not to be -allowed in the city; they only add -to the dangers of metropolitan existence,” -jerked out Mr. Burton, in -blithe tones, totally unaware that -his remarks might worry Annette.</p> - -<p>“Dear me! I wish you’d -send some one out to see, Aunt -Henrietta.”</p> - -<p>“Nonsense, Annette. Mr. Burton -is always an alarmist. But, -Marie, you might step to the front -door and look down the avenue. -Mr. Thornton is always so punctual -that it is peculiar.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span>Marie went to the front door -and looked down the street just as -Thornton, gesticulating wildly, disappeared -around the corner of Fortieth -Street.</p> - -<p>“Oh, why didn’t she come -sooner!” said he aloud to himself. -“At least they would know why -I’m late. And she’ll be gone before -I come round again. Was -there ever such luck? Oh for a -good old horse that could stop, a -dear old nag that would pause and -not go round and round like a -blamed carrousel! Say, driver, -isn’t there any way of stopping this -cursed thing? Can’t you run it -into a fence or a house? I’ll take -the risk.”</p> - -<p>“But <i>I</i> won’t, sir. These automobiles -are very powerful, and one<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span> -of them turned over a news-stand -not long since and upset the stove -in it, and nearly burned up the -newsman. But there’s a plenty of -time for it to stop. I don’t have to -hurry back.”</p> - -<p>“That’s lucky,” said Orville. -“I thought maybe you’d have to -leave me alone with the thing. -But, say, she may run all night. -Here I am due at a dinner. I’m -tired of riding. This is no way -to spend Christmas. Slacken up, -and I’ll jump when I get around -there again.”</p> - -<p>“I tell you I can’t slacken -up, and she’s going ten miles an -hour. You’ll break your leg if -you jump, and then where’ll you -be?”</p> - -<p>“I might be on their sidewalk,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span> -and then you could ring their bell, -and they’d take me in.”</p> - -<p>“And have you suing the company -for damages? Oh, no, sir. -I’m sorry, but it can’t be helped. -The company won’t charge you for -the extra time.”</p> - -<p>“No, I don’t think it will,” -said Thornton savagely, the more -so as his foot gave a twinge of pain -just then.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>“There was no one in sight, -ma’am,” said Marie, when she -returned.</p> - -<p>“Probably he had an order for -a story and got absorbed in it and -forgot us,” said Mr. Marten; but -this conjecture did not seem to suit -Annette, for it did not fit what she -knew of his character.</p> - - - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span>“Possibly he was dropped in -an elevator,” said Mr. Burton. -“Strain on elevators, particularly -these electrical ones, is tremendous. -Some of ’em have got to drop. -And a dropping elevator is no respecter -of persons. You and I may -be in one when it drops. Probably -he was. Sure, I hope not, -but as he is known to be the soul -of punctuality, we must put forward -some accident to account for -his lateness. People aren’t always -killed in elevator accidents. Are -they, my dear?”</p> - -<p>“Mr. Burton,” said his wife, -“I wish you would give your morbid -thoughts a rest. Don’t you see -that Annette is sensitive?”</p> - -<p>“Sensitive—with some one dying -every minute? It’s merely<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span> -because she happens to know Orville -that his death would be unpleasant. -If a man in the Klondike -were to read of it in the paper he -wouldn’t remember it five minutes. -But I don’t say he was in an elevator. -Maybe some one sent him -an infernal machine for a Christmas -present. May have been blown up -in a manhole or jumped from his -window to avoid flames. Why, -there are a million ways to account -for his absence.”</p> - -<p>Marie had opened the parlor windows -a moment before, as the house -was warm, and now there came -the humming of a rapidly moving -automobile. Mingled with it they -heard distinctly, although faintly, -“Mr. Marten, here I go.”</p> - -<p>It gave them all an uncanny<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span> -feeling. The fish was left untouched, -and for a moment silence -reigned. Then Mr. Marten sprang -from the table and ran to the front -door. He got there just in time to -see an automobile dashing around -a corner and to hear a distinctly -articulated imprecation in the well-known -voice of Orville Thornton.</p> - -<p>In evening clothes and bare-headed, -Mr. Marten ran to Fortieth -Street, and saw the vehicle approaching -Sixth Avenue, its occupant -still hurling strong language -upon the evening air. Mr. Marten -is something of a sprinter, although -he has passed the fifty mark, and -he resolved to solve the mystery. -But before he had covered a third -of the block in Fortieth Street he -saw that he could not hope to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span> -overtake the runaway automobile, -so he turned and ran back to the -house, rightly surmising that the -driver would circle the block.</p> - -<p>When he reached his own doorstep, -badly winded, he saw the -automobile coming full tilt up the -avenue from Thirty-ninth Street.</p> - -<p>The rest of the diners were on -the steps. “I think he’s coming,” -he panted. “The driver must be -intoxicated.”</p> - -<p>A moment later they were treated -to the spectacle of Orville, still -hurling imprecations as he wildly -gesticulated with both arms. Several -boys were trying to keep up -with the vehicle, but the pace was -too swift. No policeman had yet -discovered its rotary course.</p> - -<p>As Orville came near the Marten<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span> -mansion he cried “Ah-h-h!” in -the relieved tones of one who has -been falling for half an hour and at -last sees ground in sight.</p> - -<p>“What’s the matter?” shouted -Mr. Marten wonderingly, as the -carriage, instead of stopping, sped -along the roadway.</p> - -<p>“Sprained foot. Can’t walk. -Auto out of order. Can’t stop. -Good-by till I come round again. -Awful hungry. Merry Christmas!”</p> - -<p>“Ah ha!” said Joe Burton. “I -told you that it was an accident. -Sprained his foot and lost power -over vehicle. I don’t see the connection, -but let us be thankful that -he isn’t under the wheels, with a -broken neck, or winding round and -round the axle.”</p> - -<p>“But what’s to be done?” said<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span> -Mrs. Marten. “He says he’s -hungry.”</p> - -<p>“Tell you what!” said Mr. Burton, -in his explosive way. “Put -some food on a plate, and when -the carriage comes round again I’ll -jump aboard, and he can eat as he -travels.”</p> - -<p>“He loves purée of celery,” said -Mrs. Marten.</p> - -<p>“Very well. Put some in a -clean lard-pail or a milk-pail. Little -out of the ordinary, but so is -the accident, and he can’t help his -hunger. Hunger is no disgrace. -I didn’t think he’d ever eat soup -again, to tell the truth. I was -making up my mind whether a -wreath or a harp would be better.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, you are so morbid, Mr. -Burton,” said his wife, while Mrs.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span> -Marten told the maid to get a pail -and put some purée into it.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/i_088.jpg" alt="" /></div> - -<p class="caption">He dropped upon his bed, feeling white about the gills</p> - -<p>When Thornton came around -again he met Mr. Marten near -Thirty-ninth Street.</p> - -<p>“Open the door, Orville, and -Joe Burton will get aboard with -some soup. You must be starved.”</p> - -<p>“There’s nothing like exercise -for getting up an appetite. I’ll be -ready for Burton,” said Orville, -“Awfully sorry I can’t stop and -talk; but I’ll see you again in a -minute or two.”</p> - -<p>He opened the door as he spoke, -and then, to the great delight of at -least a score of people who had -realized that the automobile was -running away, the rubicund and -stout Joe Burton, a pail of purée -in one hand and some table cutlery<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span> -and silverware and a napkin in the -other, made a dash at the vehicle, -and with help from Orville effected -an entrance.</p> - - - -<p>“Merry Christmas!” said Orville.</p> - -<p>“Merry Christmas! Awfully -sorry, old man, but it might be -worse. Better drink it out of the -pail. They gave me a knife and -fork, but they neglected to put in -a spoon or a dish. I thought that -you were probably killed, but I -never imagined this. Miss Badeau -was terribly worked up. I think -that she had decided on white carnations. -Nice girl. You could -easily jump, old man, if you -hadn’t sprained your foot. Hurt -much?”</p> - -<p>“Like the devil; but I’m glad<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span> -it worried Miss Badeau. No, I -don’t mean that. But you know.”</p> - -<p>“Yes, I know,” said Burton, -with a sociable smile. “Mrs. Marten -told me. Nice girl. Let her -in next time. Unusual thing, you -know. People are very apt to -jump <i>from</i> a runaway vehicle, but -it seldom takes up passengers. Let -her get in, and you can explain -matters to her. You see, she sails -early in the morning, and you -haven’t much time. You can tell -her what a nice fellow you are, you -know, and I’m sure you’ll have -Mrs. Marten’s blessing. Here’s -where I get out.”</p> - -<p>With an agility admirable in one -of his stoutness, Mr. Burton leaped -to the street and ran up the steps -to speak to Miss Badeau. Orville<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span> -could see her blush, but there was -no time for her to become a passenger -that trip, and the young -man once more made the circuit of -the block, quite alone, but strangely -happy. He had never ridden with -Annette, except once on the elevated -road, and then both Mr. and Mrs. -Marten were of the company.</p> - -<p>Round sped the motor, and when -the Martens’ appeared in sight, Annette -was on the sidewalk with a -covered dish in her hand and a look -of excited expectancy on her face -that added a hundredfold to its -charms.</p> - -<p>“Here you are—only ten cents -a ride. Merry Christmas!” shouted -Orville gayly, and leaned half out -of the automobile to catch her. It -was a daring, almost an impossible<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span> -jump, yet Annette made it without -accident, and, flushed and excited, -sat down in front of Mr. Thornton -without spilling her burden, which -proved to be sweetbreads.</p> - -<p>“Miss Badeau—Annette, I -hadn’t expected it to turn out this -way, but of course your aunt doesn’t -care, or she wouldn’t have let you -come. We’re really in no danger. -This driver has had more experience -dodging teams in this last -hour than he’d get in an ordinary -year. They tell me you’re going -to Europe early to-morrow to leave -all your friends. Now, I’ve something -very important to say to you -before you go. No, thanks, I don’t -want anything more. That purée -was very filling. I’ve sprained my -ankle, and I need to be very quiet<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span> -for a week or two, perhaps until -this machine runs down, but at the -end of that time would you—”</p> - -<p>Orville hesitated, and Annette -blushed sweetly. She set the sweetbreads -down upon the seat beside -her. Orville had never looked so -handsome before to her eyes.</p> - -<p>He hesitated. “Go on,” said -she.</p> - -<p>“Would you be willing to go to -Paris on a bridal trip?”</p> - -<p>Annette’s answer was drowned -in the hurrah of the driver as the -automobile, gradually slackening, -came to a full stop in front of the -Martens’.</p> - -<p>But Orville read her lips, and as -he handed his untouched sweetbreads -to Mrs. Burton, and his -sweetheart to her uncle, his face<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span> -wore a seraphically happy expression; -and when Mr. Marten and -the driver helped him up the steps -at precisely eight o’clock, Annette’s -hand sought his, and it was a jolly -party that sat down to a big though -somewhat dried-up Rhode Island -turkey.</p> - -<p>“Marriage also is an accident,” -said Mr. Burton.</p> - -<p> </p> -<p class="center">The University Press, Cambridge, U. S. 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