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+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #63581 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/63581)
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The age of science, by Merlin Nostradamus
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this ebook.
-
-Title: The age of science
-
-Subtitle: A newspaper of the twentieth century
-
-Author: Merlin Nostradamus
-
-Release Date: October 31, 2020 [EBook #63581]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading
- Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from
- images made available by the HathiTrust Digital Library.)
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AGE OF SCIENCE ***
-
-
-
-
- THE AGE OF SCIENCE.
- _A NEWSPAPER OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY._
-
-
- BY
- MERLIN NOSTRADAMUS.
-
- “Forerun thy time, thy peers, and let
- Thy feet, milleniums hence, be set
- In midst of knowledge dreamed not yet:
-
- · · · · ·
-
- Thou hast not gained a real height,
- Nor art thou nearer to the light.”
- _Two Voices._
-
-[Illustration]
-
- _LONDON_:
- WARD, LOCK, AND TYLER,
- WARWICK HOUSE, PATERNOSTER ROW.
-
-
-
-
- LONDON:
- PRINTED BY J. OGDEN AND CO.,
- 172, ST. JOHN STREET, E.C.
-
-
-
-
- THE AGE OF SCIENCE
-
-
-The greatest discovery ever achieved by man is beyond all question that
-which it is now our privilege to announce, namely, that of the new
-PROSPECTIVE TELEGRAPH. By this truly wonderful invention (exquisitely
-simple in its machinery, yet of surpassing power) the obstacle of _Time_
-is as effectually conquered as that of _Space_ has been for the last
-generation by the Electric Telegraph; and future years—even, it is
-anticipated, future centuries—will be made to respond to our call as
-promptly and completely as do now the uttermost parts of the earth
-wherewith the magic wire has placed us in communication.
-
-For obvious reasons the particulars of this most marvellous invention,
-and the name of its author, must be withheld from the public till the
-patents be made out, and the enormous profits which must accrue from its
-application be secured to the Company which is invited to undertake to
-work it (with limited liability). We are only permitted by special
-favour to hint that the natural Force relied on to set the machinery in
-action is neither Electric, Magnetic, nor Galvanic; nor yet any
-combination of these; but that other great correlated imponderable
-agency, whose existence has been for some time suspected by many
-intelligent inquirers, called the _Psychic Force_, whose laws of action
-it has been reserved for this new and greater WHEATSTONE to develop and
-apply to practical utility. That no scepticism may linger in the minds
-of our readers, we desire to add that we have been gratified by the
-actual inspection of several short fragments forestalled by this
-invaluable process from the press of the next fifty, eighty, and one
-hundred and thirty years respectively; and have at this moment in our
-hands a complete transcript (the most important document of the series)
-of a newspaper bearing date January 1st, 1977, photographed in a very
-beautiful manner by the machine upon an enormous sheet of paper, which
-was found needful to contain the type in the most compressed form. As
-the printed matter of this gigantic periodical equals at least in bulk
-the whole of Gibbon’s History, or Mr. Jowett’s edition of Plato, we
-cannot attempt to do more than offer our readers a few brief extracts,
-serving, however, we trust, as not inadequate samples of the literary
-treasures which are shortly to be revealed to our curiosity, and
-satisfying even the most incredulous that the invention of which we
-speak has been crowned with triumphant success. We have only to add that
-the great originator of this discovery entertains hopes that, by an
-ingenious _inversion_ of the action of his machine, he may be able to
-convert it, when required, into a RETROSPECTIVE TELEGRAPH, bringing back
-the Past, as it already antedates the Future, and restoring to us all
-the records of antiquity whose loss we have deplored, as, for example,
-the Odes of Sappho, the missing Books of Livy, the Prometheus Unbound of
-Æschylus, and the original MSS. of the Vedas, the Zend Avesta, and the
-Pentateuch. The final completion of this latter discovery, however, is
-scarcely perfected, and we shall not therefore pause to describe its
-probable value, but proceed without further delay to put our readers in
-possession of all the details for which we can find space concerning the
-Newspaper of 1977, which has been very sagaciously selected by the
-inventor as the first fruits of the working of his Prospective Machine.
-
-The name of this journal (which, we conclude, may be considered as the
-_Times_ of the twentieth century) is
-
- THE AGE OF SCIENCE,
-
-and obviously refers with pride to the consciousness of its readers that
-they live in a period of the world’s history when Science reigns supreme
-over human affairs, having achieved unimaginable triumphs, and
-altogether superseded most of the pursuits of mankind in ruder ages,
-such as War, the Chase, Literature, Art, and Religion. This appropriate
-title is printed, we may remark, in the largest and clearest possible
-Roman type, instead of in the Old English character now commonly used
-for a similar purpose. No fount, indeed, which we have ever seen
-employed, save in a few old Italian folio _éditions de luxe_, has type
-so large and legible as that in which the whole newspaper is printed,
-the greatest care apparently being taken to spare the eyes—or perhaps we
-should say the spectacles—of the readers, since, judging from the
-opticians’ advertisements of “Spectacles for Infants,” “Spectacles for
-Elementary Schools by the gross,” and “Cautions to Mothers” against
-allowing babies to use their eyes, it would appear that unassisted
-vision had become rare, if not unknown. There are ten columns on each
-page, each ten times as long as it is broad, and there are a hundred
-pages in the journal, proving that the decimal system has been
-thoroughly adopted even in such details. Spread out open, the _Age of
-Science_ would cover the floor of a very large hall, and we apprehend
-from certain marks that a convenient method of suspending it on pulleys
-from the ceiling, must have superseded our clumsy practice of holding
-our papers with extended arms.
-
-Proceeding to peruse the intensely interesting contents of the _Age of
-Science_, we first note that it is written in English differing from our
-own chiefly by the use of a strange and, to our eyes, barbarous
-orthography, (intended, we presume, to facilitate elementary education,)
-and by the introduction of a vast number of technical terms of the class
-we reserve for scientific treatises, but which are apparently brought
-into use in everyday parlance. The familiarity of the contributors with
-all gases, fluids, and substances of chemistry, all the bones of all the
-beasts, birds, and fishes which live, or ever did live, on this planet,
-and all the diseases incidental to humanity, speaks volumes for the
-superiority of their scientific education over our own. At the same
-time, on two or three occasions when illustrations have been chosen from
-past History or Poetry, the writers betray that their studies have not
-been much extended in the direction of Literature. One gentleman thinks
-that Mr. GLADSTONE wrote the Iliad on hints afforded by Dr. Schliemann,
-and that MILTON was the author of the Book of Genesis. Another refers to
-the period when Rome was founded by ROMEO and JULIET, while a third
-mentions the “once celebrated _Divina Commedia_ by MOLIERE,” and regrets
-that “so curious a specimen of archaic Japanese art as Titian’s
-‘Assumption’ should not have been spared from the pile in which the
-‘Transfiguration’ of _Phidias_ and the ‘Last Supper’ of _Praxiteles_
-were so judiciously destroyed by order of the Committee of the Royal
-Academy, to put a stop to the propagation of bad æsthetic taste.” For
-the intelligence of our readers we shall be compelled to translate the
-singular phraseology of the _Age of Science_ as nearly as possible into
-familiar English, and our present spelling; and shall only quote a few
-of the Leading Articles, touching on specially interesting topics, out
-of the twenty-five which the vast newspaper publishes as its daily
-contribution.
-
-The arrangement of the _Age of Science_ is a little different from and
-more logical than that of our journals. The first page is rationally
-devoted to TELEGRAPHIC INTELLIGENCE, which everyone may be supposed to
-desire first to read. Instead of political news, however, or records of
-battles, deaths of eminent personages, floods, storms, or fires, these
-telegrams consist exclusively of minute verbatim reports of the
-proceedings of above ninety Scientific Congresses, which seem to be
-taking place at the same time in Europe, Asia, America, Australia, and
-even in one instance (a Geographical Meeting) in Africa, on the shore of
-Lake Albert Nyanza. The various sections of the British Association have
-been obviously long broken up, and again divided and subdivided till
-separate congresses have been found desirable for each department.
-
-It would occupy more space than the whole of this volume to offer even
-the briefest condensation of these Reports, as the discussions and
-papers of the learned members of the different congresses are carried on
-chiefly in terms quite unintelligible to us, and refer to scientific
-disputes to which we do not possess a clue. We must pass over these
-columns of the _Age of Science_, and proceed to the next department,
-which is a Report of the ASSEMBLY OF CONVOCATION—a topic which we were
-surprised to find possessed such prominent interest, till we discovered
-that the Convocation of 1977 will consist exclusively of Medical men.
-The Upper House seems to be formed of Physicians and Surgeons who have
-obtained titles of Nobility, and take rank according to the dioceses
-over which they exercise medical supervision, and the Lower House to be
-a representative body elected by medical graduates throughout the
-kingdom.
-
-The meetings for the Province of Canterbury take place respectively in
-Henry the Seventh’s Chapel, and in the nave of Westminster Abbey;
-Jerusalem Chamber and the Board Room of the Bounty Office having
-probably proved inconveniently small, and the whole Abbey (as we learn
-accidentally from a paragraph in another part of the paper) having been
-“set aside, since the Dissolution of the Churches, for the use of the
-Medical Profession, and for anatomical and physiological lectures and
-craniological researches, for which latter purpose the vaults beneath
-offer peculiarly interesting specimens.”
-
-The Report runs as follows:—
-
-
- _PROVINCE OF CANTERBURY._
-
- UPPER HOUSE.
-
- SESSION CCXLI.—Monday, January 1st, 1977.
-
- The House assembled at eleven o’clock in Henry VII.’s Chapel, pursuant
- to the order of prorogation. His Grace the Lord Archphysician of
- Canterbury presided. There were also present the Right Rev. Lord
- Doctors of Winchester, London, Oxford, Ely, Salisbury, Exeter,
- Lincoln, and Peterborough. After the presentation of sixty-four
- Petitions, a Report was received from the Venerable Congregation of
- the Index, which was approved and ordered to lie on the table. Among
- the works whose perusal will henceforth be prohibited to the laity
- will be found all Medical Guides and Treatises on Domestic Medicine,
- Household Surgery, and the like, which have pretended to direct the
- multitude how to cure or prevent disease without the aid of a
- physician. As the Lord Doctor of Lincoln judiciously observed, “the
- heresy involved was precisely analogous to that of the old religious
- sect of Protestants, who taught the ignorant laity that they might
- save their souls without applying to a priest. Doctors,” his lordship
- added, “were the appointed Ministers of the Body, and the man who
- imagined his health could be saved without them would find out his
- error when it was too late.”
-
-
- LOWER HOUSE.
-
- The Doctors, Archdoctors, and Pro-Apothecaries constituting the Lower
- House of Convocation assembled in the Nave of Westminster Abbey at 11
- o’clock. The Very Eminent Cyrup Camomile, M.D., Archdoctor of
- Cheltenham, Prolocutor, presided.
-
- The Prolocutor having bowed to the busts of Hippocrates, Galen, and
- Harvey (a ceremony which has been substituted for the old form of
- prayers), præconization was taken by the actuary of the names of
- members; assessors were appointed, and a multitude of petitions
- presented. The Schedules of Gravamina and Reformanda were then called
- for. Among the former the most important (which was sent up at once to
- the Upper House as an _Articulus Medici_) was the gravamen of the
- Archapothecary of Sarum, which set forth that, contrary the interests
- of the profession and ordinary usage, a Coroner had been recently
- elected for the county of Dorset who was not a Medical Man. Another
- gravamen referred to the inadequacy of the fees to be legally claimed
- by Doctors for granting Certificates of Birth, Vaccination,
- Equination, Porcination, Sanitary Fitness for Factory or other
- labours, Fitness for Marriage, and, finally, the most important
- Certificates of having died under due Medical care and supervision,
- and being consequently admissible for Cremation.
-
- Members were then called upon to give notice of motions, and
- discussions followed on those of Sir William Puffin—
-
- That Convocation should remonstrate with Her Majesty’s Ministers for
- the laxity wherewith the laws relating to Medical Heretics are
- enforced.
-
- Of Sir Andrew Scrivener—
-
- That Convocation should desire Her Majesty’s Secretary of State for
- Home Affairs to introduce immediately into Parliament a Bill
- prohibiting Dinner Parties, exceeding seven persons in number, to be
- held without the presence of a qualified Physician or Surgeon.
-
- Of Dr. Aqua Fortis—
-
- That a Bill should be likewise required, compelling Railway and
- Steamboat Companies to employ, at suitable salaries, a staff of
- properly qualified Surgeons, one of whom at least should travel by
- every train and on every steamboat.
-
- And of Dr. Scurvydrop—
-
- That a Deputation from Convocation should wait on the Lords of the
- Admiralty to remonstrate on the subordinate position allotted to
- Surgeons on board Her Majesty’s Ships, and to demand that the Medical
- Officer should at all times (except when the immediate conduct of the
- ship is in question) takes precedence of the Captain as Commander.
-
- A similar motion was made by Dr. Turniquet for a deputation to the
- Horse Guards on behalf of the Army Surgeons, and was, like all the
- preceding motions, adopted unanimously.
-
-The Report concludes with the observation—
-
- As Parliament does not meet for another week, there must be a delay of
- a few days before the recommendations of Convocation are carried into
- effect, but it is unnecessary to remark that they will be adopted
- unchallenged by the Legislature. Since the solemn Protest, carried by
- the 50,000 doctors, who marched down Whitehall in procession, “against
- the Interference of the Secular Power in Things Medical,” no Minister
- of the Crown, much less any private member, has attempted to move an
- Amendment to any of the numerous Bills presented by the profession.
-
-After the Report of Convocation, the _Age of Science_ contains one
-column of STOCKS AND SHARES, not possessing any special interest for
-readers of the present day, but appearing to prove, strangely enough,
-that investments are much fewer than in our time, and cannot be made in
-any Foreign securities. After these, in lieu both of NAVAL AND MILITARY
-INTELLIGENCE, and of the CHURCH, five columns are devoted to MEDICAL
-APPOINTMENTS AND PROMOTIONS, and to a considerable correspondence on the
-proposed endowment of two new Physicianships (with seats in the House of
-Lords) at St. Albans and Truro. After all these we find twenty columns
-devoted to LATEST INTELLIGENCE, in short paragraphs, of which we cull a
-few of the most interesting.
-
-
- _OCCASIONAL NOTES._
-
- The magnificent Joss House now in process of erection by the Chinese
- of London forms a striking ornament to Regent Street, standing as it
- does on the site of the old deserted Langham Chapel. It will, we
- imagine, be the only place dedicated to religious purposes which has
- been built during the last twenty years in the metropolis, and almost
- the only one in actual use. Although we cannot, of course, ourselves,
- as a Scientific nation, formally join in the worship of Buddha, we
- must all regard with sympathy and satisfaction the honours paid to
- that great Teacher by the very important section of our community, the
- Chinese day labourers and domestic servants, of whom it is said more
- than half a million have contributed to the erection and adornment of
- this Temple. Considering the impossibility of inducing Englishmen to
- undertake in these days the lower kinds of work, we should come
- altogether to a standstill were it not for the tens of thousands of
- industrious Chinese who have replenished our labour market. The statue
- of Buddha is a noble work of modern sculpture by Mr. Merino. The
- traditional pose of the crossed legs is slightly altered to bring them
- within the rules of scientific anatomy, and the Sage is obviously
- pondering those profound lessons of Pessimism (that it is a bad world
- we live in, and that we need not expect a better) which have justly
- secured for him the reverence of cultivated Europe.
-
- * * * * *
-
- An accident of the ordinary sort occurred last night to the new
- Magnetic train, which was at the moment passing under the Channel,
- about 10 miles from Dover. From messages sent by the portable electric
- machine along the wires the moment before the catastrophe took place,
- it would appear that the engineers have been again at fault in the
- construction of the roof of the tunnel, and that the sea was rushing
- in with such violence that little hopes were entertained of bringing
- the train to the next watertight compartment. The result justified
- these fears, for the whole compartment of the tunnel in which the
- train was stopped is to-day entirely full of water, and it must be
- assumed that the unfortunate passengers—numbering, it is supposed,
- about 800—have been drowned like so many rats in a trap. The accident
- is unfortunate for the proprietors of Submarine Tunnel Stock, and also
- for several Insurance Companies, as extensive repairs will be
- required; but Science teaches us to regard these occurrences with
- composure, as serving to check the increase of a superabundant
- population.
-
- * * * * *
-
- The Simian Educational Institute (on Frobel’s system), for members of
- the Ape family, continues to attract the strongest interest. In
- testing the educability of the Simian tribe we are solving one of the
- most important problems of Science, and hitherto everything seems to
- promise the triumphant success of the experiment. There are now among
- the pupils at the Institute three Chimpanzees, whose grandfathers and
- grandmothers have all been well-educated monkeys; so that the set of
- the brain of these young people is already marked towards progress and
- civilization. It is needless to observe that all the students are
- required to wash and dress themselves every morning in the becoming
- male and female habiliments provided by the taste of the Governors of
- the Institute. Great pains are also taken with their manners at meal
- times, and, to avoid temptation, nuts are not admitted at dessert. One
- of the young gentlemen (Joseph Macacus Silenus, Esq., generally known
- by his intimates as “Joe”) is said to exhibit extraordinary talents,
- and to be able to answer any question in elementary science by means
- of an alphabet and a system of knocks, which (in view of the yet
- unconquerable speechlessness of monkeys) has been accepted as the best
- substitute for language, having been formerly invented by an ingenious
- race of impostors named Mediums, who flourished in the obscurity of
- the Victorian age. The plan adopted in France, in deference to the
- advice of the great French naturalist, M. Houzeau, to employ the
- anthropoid apes as domestic servants, has proved, we are informed,
- altogether successful in several families. Madame Le Singe, a fine
- specimen of the Gorilla tribe, has acted for some months as
- confidential Nurse in the family of a distinguished Member of the
- Institute (M. Gobemouche), and is said to maintain discipline among
- her charges excellently well. It is an instructive spectacle to see
- Madame Le Singe walking on a fine day with the children, and pushing a
- perambulator in the Gardens of the Tuileries. The more ordinary
- employment found, however, for domestic Apes is that of cooks, when it
- is observed they occasionally call in the services of the household
- cat to assist them as kitchenmaid, especially when roast chestnuts
- form part of the entertainment.
-
- * * * * *
-
- The cheerful ceremony of opening the new “Incineration Hall” was
- performed an hour ago in Manchester by the Lord Doctor of Manchester,
- attended by the Mayor. It is a magnificent building, with a furnace
- capable of reducing 12 bodies at a time to ashes, which, after a
- certain period, will be used in the manufacture of water-filters for
- the drinking-fountains of the town. It is specially fortunate that the
- Hall can be employed at once, since the number of persons despatched
- by Euthanasia has been so great during the past week all over the
- country that the other Cremation establishments have proved inadequate
- to dispose of the corpses with sufficient rapidity.
-
- * * * * *
-
- An important addition has been made to that instructive place of
- public amusement, the Zoological Gardens in Regent’s Park. The ground
- formerly occupied by a great Dissenting College (long in ruins) has
- been devoted to a department destined to contain those species of
- animals which are rapidly dying out in Europe, and which, if not thus
- carefully preserved, must soon be lost altogether to Zoological
- science. Among these are the Ass, the Fox, the Dog, the Hare, the
- Pheasant, and Partridge. In this age of Science it is, of course,
- impossible to go on employing a creature like the Donkey, proverbial
- for its intellectual deficiency, and we have no regret that only two
- pair of animals of the species (both in the Regent’s Park collection)
- now survive in England, though a few are said to linger in Egypt.
- Connected with the dog (_Canis Familiaris_) there are so many
- traditional records of sagacity, having a certain scientific interest
- in connection with the form and size of its brain, that we should have
- been glad if a more complete collection of the varieties could have
- been preserved. The Foxhound, however, the Greyhound, Setter, and
- Pointer, seem all to have become extinct within about thirty years of
- the repeal of the Game Laws and the consequent cessation of held
- sports; and several of the more favoured kinds of dogs—Italian
- Greyhounds, Toy Terriers, Pomeranians, and Poodles—were, it is said,
- privately destroyed by hundreds by their owners, who disgracefully
- sought to withdraw them from the researches of physiologists. The
- remaining kinds have been perhaps rather recklessly used by
- vivisectors, whose ardour in the noble cause of science has caused
- them to experiment, on an average, on about 14,000 dogs apiece (an
- example originally set by the sainted Maurizio Schiff), and the result
- has been that we only find at present twelve animals surviving, of
- whom nine belong to the class Mongrel. One noble old Newfoundland, who
- would have greatly graced the collection, was, it is said, drowned by
- his owner last year under interesting circumstances. The dog was much
- devoted to his master (a celebrated physiologist), and especially to
- his boy, a child of six years old. One day the little fellow fell out
- of a boat, and sank for the last time, when the dog arrived, and with
- immense difficulty (the water being very deep and stormy) dived for
- him and brought him safe to shore. The animal itself was so nearly
- exhausted that its stertorous breathing and other symptoms suggested
- to the physiologist the scientific interest which would attach to
- watching it slowly drowning in a suitable vessel, where all the
- conditions of that death could be accurately investigated on so large
- a scale as that of a full sized dog. The learned gentleman
- accordingly, in obedience to these fine and fleeting suggestions of
- the intellect, drowned the animal in a tub in his physiological
- laboratory as soon as his son was sufficiently recovered to witness
- the instructive and entertaining spectacle. The dog, when withdrawn
- half dead for a moment from the water, having attempted to lick the
- boy’s face, the child was weak enough to implore his father to spare
- it; but the learned gentleman of course pointed out to the boy the
- folly of such a request, and the experiment was completed. We trust to
- see this young gentleman hereafter as sound and eminent a physiologist
- as his distinguished father.
-
-After some five columns more of similar _Intelligence_, the _Age of
-Science_ proceeds to give its readers a few Reviews of Books. The
-brevity of the remarks vouchsafed to these productions seems to indicate
-that no great importance is attached to Literature properly so called,
-but only to treatises on Physical Science.
-
-The Notices run as follow:—
-
-
- _REVIEWS._
-
- We do not usually in the _Age of Science_ intrude on the province of
- the sixteen leading daily Scientific Newspapers devoted to critical
- notices of the books which pour from the press on Electrology,
- Physiology, Astronomy, Geology, &c. We are tempted to depart from our
- rule, however, so far as to offer our meed of applause and
- congratulation on the publication of the last of the six splendid
- volumes forming the magnificent monograph on CHEESE-MITES, and the
- still more costly and exhaustive treatise on the great mystery of the
- FORMATION OF DUST IN DISUSED APARTMENTS. THE ANALYSIS OF THE DUST BIN,
- which constitutes Book VIII. of this noble work, is a triumph of
- scientific investigation and (to employ an obviously appropriate term)
- of industry. In the inferior non-scientific walks of Literature we
- find that no Histories have been published during the last
- twelvemonth, and only one _Historical Essay_, namely:—
-
- _The Fall of the Church of England._ By the late (and last) Dean of
- Westminster. The author of this book composed it, we are informed,
- during his retirement in the Isle of Anglesea, whither, like most of
- the clergy, and the Druids in former ages, he retreated after the
- great victory gained by Science, when the Cathedrals and Churches were
- made over by Parliament to the Medical Profession. The Dean traces the
- fall of the Anglican Establishment to the disrepute into which it had
- sunk in consequence of the folly of a party in the Church, who, in an
- age of doubt and transition, when religion needed to be presented in
- its most spiritual shape, made it appear by their practices a matter
- of rites and forms altogether childish. It is quite possible that
- these idle doings may have contributed to make sensible men impatient
- and contemptuous, but we are persuaded that the abolition of the
- Churches was due to a deeper and more widespread cause, namely, the
- growth of that sound philosophy which recognises Matter as containing
- itself the germ and potency of every form of life, and, of course,
- dismisses the dream of a Soul in man, which might enjoy existence
- after death. As soon as this great truth had had time to penetrate the
- minds of the masses, the collapse of Religion obviously became
- imminent. The sole attention and hopes of all classes have since been
- confined to the preservation of health and the extension of life to
- the utmost term of old age. That we have _bodies_, nobody can for a
- moment question, and we properly recognise as our guides and masters
- the Doctors who remedy their diseases. We have satisfied ourselves
- that we have no _Souls_, and it would be truly absurd to expect of us
- to maintain an order of clergy to undertake their “cure.” The
- endowments originally devoted to the latter profession have been
- naturally and fitly transferred to the former.
-
-
- _POETRY._
-
- _The Loves of the Triangles._ Reprinted from the _Anti-Jacobin_. We
- rejoice to see the merits of this Poem recognised at last, and the
- stupid idea of some dull critics that it was intended as a travesty
- exploded in this graver age. With the exception of the _De Rerum
- Natura_ of Lucretius, and of Darwin’s _Botanic Garden_, it is almost
- the only poem bequeathed to us by the past worthy of retaining a place
- in our libraries.
-
- _The Gout, and other Poems._ By the Poet Laureate. We warmly commend
- this beautiful and affecting volume, especially to our youthful
- readers. The accuracy wherewith the peculiarly poignant pangs of
- Arthritis are delineated is beyond praise. We should, however,
- recommend the omission of the episode of the patient’s marriage to his
- shampooer. It is a tribute to that false taste which requires Poetry
- to deal with Romance instead of with the facts of Science.
-
-
- _FICTION._
-
- _The Precession of the Equinox, and other Tales._ By Wilkinson
- Collinson, Esq. This is a highly sensational story, and will sell like
- wildfire at the bookstalls. The interest of the plot turns on the
- phenomenon in question, but embraces subsidiary problems respecting
- the sun’s path through the Zodiac.
-
- _Daniel Allround._ By George Evans. The chief attraction of this book
- lies in the abstruse technical terminology which the author has
- employed to illustrate profound observations of men and things. From
- this point of view the work has a certain scientific value, but too
- much space is lost by delineations of characters without tracing them
- to the laws of Heredity.
-
- _Edwin and Angelina._ By J. Fitzparnell. Taking for his guidance the
- observation of the immortal Bain, that the Tender Emotions are
- exclusively Glandular Affections, the author of this charming novel
- has afforded his readers a perfect study of the effects of each of the
- passions—Pity, Sympathy, Regret, Disappointment, Hope, and Love—on the
- various glands which they respectively affect. A simple love story
- naturally describes each emotion in its turn, and allows us to pause
- and acquaint ourselves with its physiological results. The lucid
- explanation of the physiological reasons why Mothers love their
- children is particularly valuable, as calculated to explode the last
- stronghold of the superstitious reverence which was once paid to
- parents among semi-civilized nations.
-
-After these critical Notices of Books, the _Age of Science_ proceeds to
-offer the following remarks on Art and the Drama:—
-
-
- _EXHIBITION OF THE ROYAL ACADEMY OF ARTS._
-
- FIRST NOTICE.
-
- To-day being the first of the New Year, this Exhibition was as usual
- opened to the public, and we think all true lovers of Art will agree
- that it is a most satisfactory one, and displays more than the usual
- average merit of our Exhibitions, whether we consider the aggregate
- number of important works, their size, their execution, or the noble
- prices they have realised to their authors; such prices having been,
- according to the lately adopted custom, published in the catalogues
- issued after the day of the Private View, when connoisseurs have made
- their selection of the works not previously disposed of in the
- _ateliers_ of the artists. This (which is, after all, the true test of
- success) greatly enhances the interest of these catalogues, affording
- a guide as to the degree of public favour in which the respective
- artists are held. Reform in the Academy itself, so long demanded, has
- been at last effected, in spite of all the obstacles thrown in the way
- of the reformers, who desired to break down the monopoly so long
- maintained by the painters and sculptors, who would only consent to
- the admission of a limited number of architects and engravers into
- their privileged body. Now, at last, the claims of all artists have
- been recognised, and Decorators, Carpet-designers, Metalworkers and
- Electrotypers, Wood Carvers, &c. &c., have been admitted within its
- walls, and the magic letters R.A. may frequently be found attached to
- the names of the leading members of many of our manufacturing firms.
- In fact, we may say that Painting and Sculpture have found their
- level, and now that the great canon of Art has been thoroughly
- established, and it is acknowledged that _Utility_, not _Beauty_, is
- its only legitimate aim, and Scientific Reality and Accuracy, not wild
- attempts at attaining a so-called Ideality, its true goal of
- perfection, the merits of these too-long unrecognised geniuses have
- been found to surpass all others. The mechanical helps with which
- Science has supplied us have rendered it possible to accomplish feats
- of which our ancestors had no idea. Photography has enabled us to
- reproduce all possible forms, thus securing, with great economy of
- labour, the facile execution of stupendous works adapted for the
- decoration of the outside as well as the inside of our buildings. In
- this Exhibition, of course, these gigantic works cannot be seen, but
- the smaller ones by the same artists give us good specimens of their
- power. No. 3,004, for instance, is well worthy the attention of
- visitors. It is intended, as the catalogue informs us, for the wall
- decoration of the Terminus of the Great Central Balloon Station, and
- gives a very wonderfully correct representation of the three Provinces
- into which London is now divided, as seen from the distance of six
- miles above the height of St. Paul’s. Every roof and chimney is
- accurately represented, and every feature of the smallest interest, on
- the scale of an inch to a mile. Portrait-painting may be said to have
- been entirely superseded now that the Sun has been compelled to add
- colour to form in the pictures taken by the photographic camera, and
- Landscape Art has died out in its old inaccurate fanciful sense,
- having been succeeded by a more scientific method of representing
- Nature as she really is. The geological formation of every mountain,
- the physiology of each tree and blade of grass, as determined by
- expert geologists and botanists, will alone satisfy us in this age of
- science, and we demand this accuracy from all who pretend to record
- the aspect of our country. We find all these requirements met in the
- works of the distinguished landscape painter of No. 60,072, “View of
- the Great Smelting Works,” in the iron district, lately discovered in
- the North of Scotland. We venture to affirm that none but a thoroughly
- educated man of science could have painted the details of this
- picture, and we cannot bestow higher praise. The “Interior of the
- Factory,” No. 20,621, is also a work deserving of much commendation
- for the minuteness of its detail, which must be examined with a strong
- magnifier to be thoroughly enjoyed—the complicated arrangement of the
- machinery escaping the naked eye; also the texture of the materials
- which are being manufactured into webs of the most gossamer-like
- lightness from heaps of rough coarse yarns and woollen threads. The
- faces of the operatives are exquisitely rendered, and you seem to hear
- the noise of the wheels and cranks.
-
- The Sculpture Gallery is perhaps less attractive to the general public
- than are the pictures; still it contains some interesting works, and
- the tailors and milliners who were consulted by the art critics as to
- the details of the costumes of the portrait statues, gave their
- opinion that very few errors had been committed this year, thanks to
- the advice tendered by them at sundry lectures delivered on the
- subject last summer. Our statesmen and benefactors are no longer
- represented in dress, or undress, in which they were never beheld, but
- in the exact apparel which they actually wore; and future ages will be
- afforded a correct idea not only of their features, but of any bodily
- defects they may have laboured to conceal. Thus an archæological and
- historical interest will attach to these effigies, and truth will be
- upheld. Science has done much for this art also. Mechanical means have
- assisted this accuracy of representation—notably in the application of
- metal, which can now be applied to the dress, &c., where great
- elaboration of detail is required, so as to admit, for example, of
- stamping out patterns in lace ruffles, and imitating the very texture
- of the materials, while the resemblance to marble is perfect.
- Especially useful is this invention for the application of colour; and
- we defy anyone to detect the difference of substance without the
- closest observation, such as a skilful workman alone could bestow. The
- advantages offered by this discovery are obvious in the case of veiled
- statues, so much admired by the British public. (See Nos. 720 to
- 1,293.) We cannot bestow too much praise on the exquisite polish of
- surface and delicacy of the workmanship of many of these works,
- notably in the feathers of the bird’s wing in No. 2,320, “A Chinese
- Scullion plucking a Goose.” Compare this with the rude and uncouth
- attempts of the ancient Greeks to idealize the naked human form!
-
-
- _THEATRES._
-
- At this season in former times, when boys were foolishly allowed to
- leave school for the holidays, the theatres (as some of us are old
- enough to remember) were much frequented, and were principally used
- for a silly kind of entertainment called Pantomimes. Of the three
- theatres in London which still continue to be devoted to some sort of
- dramatic performance, and have not been transferred into Lecture
- Halls, one only (the _Gaiety_) seems successful this winter. Crowds
- attend every night to witness “School,” a piece in which there is no
- folly of love-making, but the anxieties of a Competitive Examination
- for Honours in Science are finely realised. A tragic interest is
- imparted to the plot by making the hero become insane just as he has
- achieved the object of his ambition. At the _Haymarket_ there has been
- a failure which we fear will result in the ruin of the lessee. This
- enterprising gentleman imagined it might be possible to revive in
- these days an interest in some of the old plays once popular in this
- country, and after (it appears) long consultation and deliberation,
- determined to bring the _Merchant of Venice_ upon the boards. It was
- hoped that the proposal of one of the characters of the piece, named
- Shylock, to cut a pound of flesh from another, and the discussion
- whether this could be done without the effusion of blood, would excite
- the interest of the spectators. Unfortunately, as the author of the
- drama (Shakespeare, we are informed) stops short at the very crisis of
- the physiological experiment, and allows the intended subject to
- escape, the audience not unnaturally have exhibited disappointment,
- and the piece has been pronounced a failure.
-
- At the St. James’s Theatre the manager has likewise made a mistake in
- reviving Moliere’s _Malade Imaginaire_. We see no humour in this,
- so-called, comedy. Where is the point, for example, of the supposed
- jest of making the young medical student, _Thomas Diafoirus_, present
- his lady-love with a ticket of admission to a dissection? The act was
- a natural and delicate attention.
-
-The next department of the _Age of Science_ is very short as usual.
-
-
- _COURT._
-
- Her Most Gracious Majesty, accompanied by the Princess Urania, and
- attended by Dr. Brown and Dr. Robinson, Lords Physicians in Waiting,
- honoured Dr. Scalpel’s studio by a visit, during which Dr. Scalpel
- exhibited to the youthful Princess several beautiful preparations of
- various cutaneous diseases, and of the morbid anatomy of Lupus and
- Elephantiasis.
-
- Sir R. Atmosphere, Astronomer Royal, Sir A. Diggory, Geologist in
- Ordinary to her Majesty, and the eminent Chemist, Herr Von
- Pestle-Mortar, had the honour of dining with the Queen at Windsor
- Castle at 10 P.M. The Lord Doctor of Winchester, Her Majesty’s Medical
- Confessor, said the new Grace (“May good digestion wait on appetite”)
- at the commencement of the repast, and the Band, with chorus of male
- and female voices, performed at the conclusion the Hymn, “Oh, take thy
- pill,—Oh, take thy pill,—Oh, take thy pilgrim home.”
-
-In examining the journals of a foreign country, the intelligent reader
-will generally be able to gather some insight into the habits of the
-natives by passing his eye down the columns of advertisements and noting
-the class of objects presented for sale. In the _Age of Science_ there
-are no less than fifty the vast pages we have described devoted to
-announcements and puffs of the most astonishing variety, including
-hundreds of articles whose names and uses are at present quite unknown.
-Of advertisements of servants and other persons requiring employment we
-have not found a single instance, but there were at least twenty columns
-of invitations to “Ladies and Gentlemen” to be so kind as to act for the
-advertiser in the capacity of housekeeper, steward, superintendent of
-the house, or some equally well-sounding office, the remuneration
-offered being at the lowest, it would seem, about £200 a year, with “the
-use of a steam carriage,” and “every other luxury desired.”
-
-We must, however, leave the columns of ADVERTISEMENTS for future
-examination, and proceed to give an account of the more important LAW
-AND POLICE REPORTS, which form, perhaps, the most surprising part of the
-_Age of Science_. It would appear that it had become necessary to hold
-assizes in at least twenty towns and villages in every county; and that
-the judges were incessantly occupied with cases of robbery, garrotting,
-arson, rape, stabbing, poisoning, and (strange to remark) a number of
-offences with new names, of whose nature we can merely guess, but which
-appear to involve mortal injury to the victim. The words employed, such
-as “Debarrassing,” “Morbifying,” “Disbraining,” “Petroleumization,”
-“Electroding,” “Mesmeraciding,” &c., seem to have become so common as to
-need no definition, and to have taken their place in the statute book.
-For all these crimes the same class of penalties are allotted; the
-convicted persons are invariably sentenced by the presiding judge to so
-many weeks’ or months’ detention—not in prison, but in the Penal
-Hospitals of their respective towns or villages. The principle on which
-crime is thus visited appears from the addresses of several of the
-magistrates, who remark that the “diseased minds” exhibited by the
-robbers and murderers “obviously require careful medical treatment,” and
-that they trust that the eminent Physicians and Surgeons to whom the
-prisoners are consigned will not fail to complete their cure. In
-numerous cases, as the offenders have been sentenced many times
-previously, the judge speaks of their crime as exhibiting “an
-intermittent fever” of homicidal rage, or of covetousness. Remarks are
-also always made by the reporters as to the “abnormal cerebral
-development” or “morbid symptoms” exhibited by the criminals, and the
-tone assumed in speaking of them (even in cases of what we should term
-the most cruel and brutal murders) is invariably one of scientific study
-and calm philosophic analysis.
-
-A very different method of treatment, however, is adopted towards
-another class of offenders, whom it would appear the authorities in the
-_Age of Science_ are determined to put down in grim earnest. That our
-readers may not suppose we mistake the sense of the amazing paragraphs
-in which these new features of English legislation appear, we quote them
-as they stand in the _Age of Science_, pp. 63 and 64.
-
-
- _POLICE._
-
- At the Mansion House this morning, 79 men and 140 women were summoned
- for the non-attendance of their boys under two years old at the Public
- Infants’ Science Classes in the new Kinder Garten in the Tower.
- Various pleas were, as usual, put forth by the defendants, purporting
- to prove in some cases that the children were ill with small-pox and
- scarlet fever, and in several instances that they were dying or dead.
- Mr. Alderman Busby remarked that “if they were to listen to such
- pleas, children would grow up to three or four years old without
- learning even the rudiments of astronomy or palæontology.” He ordered
- all the fathers to be publicly flogged, and the mothers to receive
- each a dozen stripes of the birch privately, in the State Whipping
- House, and to stand on benches for three days in the nearest
- Elementary School during school hours.
-
- [Similar judgments are recorded at Westminster, Worship Street,
- Clerkenwell, and several other police-courts in London and the
- provincial towns.]
-
-
- _MIDDLESEX SESSIONS._
-
- The Duke and Duchess of Broadacres, the Marquis of Carabas, Lady Clara
- Vere de Vere, and the Lady Adeline Amundeville were brought up (in
- chains) to receive sentence on the charges (fully proved against them
- last week) of having deceived the Officers of Domestic Inspection
- respecting their own and their children’s Canination and Porcination.
- It was shown that all the defendants had been Vaccinated according to
- law four times during the last twelvemonth, and Equinated twice during
- the late prevalence of glanders, but though Rabies and the Measles
- were both known to be raging in London, they had not only neglected to
- present themselves and their children at the Canine and Porcine
- Stations in Queen’s Gate, but had deceived the Inspectors as above
- stated by exhibiting the former scars for the latter. Being unable to
- produce any medical certificate showing that they had obeyed the law,
- and having been found “guilty” by a special jury (containing, of
- course, the legal proportion—three-fourths—of Medical graduates), all
- five prisoners were sentenced by Mr. Justice Draco to the extreme
- penalty of the law. They will be vivisected for the instruction of the
- students at the magnificent new School of Physiology in Carlton
- Gardens, as soon after the opening of the session as may be
- convenient. Some sympathy was expressed in court for the Duke of
- Broadacres, who, being an elderly nobleman in feeble health, seems to
- have feared superstitiously the processes (unknown in his youth) of
- using, for the purpose of inoculations, the saliva from mad dogs, as a
- preventive of hydrophobia, on the principle of “a hair of the dog
- which has bitten you.” The expression of misplaced public
- commiseration was instantly checked by the learned Judge, and the
- prisoners were removed, exhibiting many signs of trepidation. Lady
- Clara Vere de Vere implored that she might be even Ratified sooner
- than given over to the students, but her request was, of course,
- sternly refused. It is indeed specially fortunate that so sensitive a
- subject as this young and delicate-looking lady is likely to prove
- should fall, in course of law, under physiological investigation at
- the moment when the exquisite experiments of Dr. Blacksmith on the
- Nervous System are in course of exposition.
-
-Even these startling announcements, however, are less surprising than
-the following:—
-
-
- _SANITARY OFFICE._
-
- Dec. 25, 1977.
-
- The proceedings of this most high and solemn Court in the Realm were,
- as usual, held with closed doors. There were present five Lord
- Doctors, and sentences were passed, after due deliberation, and (it is
- rumoured) the application of the Question, ordinary and extraordinary,
- on nine obstinate heretics. Three of these were members of that
- fanatical sect, the Peculiar People, who refuse to consult physicians
- on the ground of religious scruples—an instance of the survival of
- outworn superstitions scarcely credible in this enlightened _Age of
- Science_. One of these miserable delinquents, named John Nokes,
- alleged that his twelve children had enjoyed unbroken health till his
- youngest little boy cut his finger. The wretched father, instead of
- hurrying instantly for the nearest surgeon, himself dressed the
- child’s wound (which appears to have been superficial) with adhesive
- plaster, and gave the child a fragment of toffee to stop his crying,
- in lieu of the proper therapeutic remedies for the shock to the
- nervous system which any medical attendant would have exhibited. The
- crime came fortunately to the knowledge of the police, who immediately
- brought the matter before the Sanitary Office. A second offender of
- the same sect, named Styles, had, it seems, an attack of Podagra, but
- took no advice, and having rather quickly recovered, was in hopes (it
- is supposed) that his neglect to obey the law would pass undiscovered.
- A crutch seen in his room raised the suspicion of a visitor, and the
- offender was eventually arrested. When interrogated by the Lord
- Presiding Doctor of the Sanitary Court as to the motives of his crime,
- the man (as his sentence sets forth) actually dared to reply by
- quoting a passage from an obsolete book, wherein it is narrated of a
- certain King, “Now Asa was diseased in his feet, yet in his disease he
- sought not to the Lord, but to the physicians. And Asa slept with his
- fathers.”[1] This narrative, as Styles had the audacity to argue, was
- an authentic, and, indeed, inspired report of a fit of the gout—its
- diagnosis, treatment, and the result. As he did not desire to “sleep
- with his fathers,” he (Styles) had avoided consulting the physicians,
- and had endeavoured to consult the Lord by following the dictates of
- common sense, and the consequence was that he had recovered with
- unusual rapidity. The Lord President was moved to great indignation by
- the obduracy of this heretic. He remarked that the book which
- contained such a passage—a volume which, he was happy to say, he had,
- for his part, never read—ought to be burnt before the doors of the
- London University; and as to the prisoner Styles, it would be useless
- for him to hope to escape sharing in the same combustion.
-
-Footnote 1:
-
- 2 Chron. xvi. 12.
-
- After the Peculiar People, two Homœopaths were found guilty—one of
- administering globules to an old woman, the other of refusing to join
- in the processions on the 5th of November, when the busts of Hahnemann
- are carried to be calcined. The remaining four heretics avowed belief
- in as many different heinous errors. One gave credit to MICHEL’S
- process for the cure of external cancer, another thought new-born
- infants ought not to be dosed with castor oil; a third placed
- confidence in bone-setters, and the fourth (a very old lady) retained
- an infatuated preference for the remedies which were in vogue a
- century ago—bromide of potassium and chloral—which, of course, have
- been since peremptorily condemned and pronounced highly injurious by
- the supreme authority of the Faculty.
-
- The aforesaid nine heretics, having been solemnly found “guilty,”
- after due inquisition by the High Sanitary Office, were condemned as
- contumacious by the Lord Presiding Doctor, and the Most Eminent
- Doctors Pole, Gardiner, and Bonner, and were delivered over last night
- to the Secular Arm. Piles are in process of erection in Trafalgar
- Square. It is announced that Her Gracious Majesty Queen Mary III. will
- preside at the execution, which will take place on Sunday morning
- next, after hearing a Lecture on “True Medical Belief,” to be
- delivered by Her Majesty’s Medical Confessor in Ordinary, Dr. Torr
- Quemada, under the dome of St. Paul’s.
-
-Such is a brief abstract of these most astounding _Law and Police
-Reports_ in the _Age of Science_. We make no comments upon them, except
-the expression of our wonder at the similarity between the office and
-behaviour of a Priest of Religion in the fifteenth century and a Priest
-of Science in the twentieth. With complete citations of four out of the
-twenty-five Leading Articles of the _Age of Science_, we must conclude
-this imperfect but thoroughly reliable account of the remarkable journal
-of 1977, whose discovery has been the glorious first-fruits of the
-PROSPECTIVE TELEGRAPH.
-
- Since the epoch, now nearly forty years past, when SMITH made his
- immortal discovery of the Army Exterminator, followed up so rapidly by
- JONES’ invention of the Fleet Annihilator, international policy has
- necessarily undergone a great modification. As war has become
- impossible as an _ultima ratio_ in any case, and the principle of
- Arbitration, on which such hopes were founded, has proved ineffective,
- in consequence of the general refusal of the working classes to permit
- their governments to pay the _amendes_ agreed upon by the Arbitrators,
- a permanent state of discord between nations seems to have become
- established. The dream of Free Trade having also been exploded,
- following the example of the American Empire, at that time a Republic,
- (prohibitive duties having been placed by the different States on
- their own exports and the imports of other countries,) commerce is
- undoubtedly, just now, considerably hampered. The immense facilities
- for travelling which we possess, thanks to the æro-magnetic propeller,
- have also their disadvantages, since the abandonment of extradition
- treaties allows the criminals of each country to take refuge
- immediately in the neighbouring State, when they happen to entertain
- any serious objection to detention in the Penal Hospitals. For all
- these drawbacks to our progress, however, SCIENCE will no doubt soon
- provide an efficient remedy.
-
- We are on the high-road, it cannot be doubted, to a period of
- prosperity and universal longevity (after all, the main object of all
- rational ambition) such as the world has not hitherto beheld.
-
- The foreign news of the hour is somewhat unsatisfactory. In
- consequence of the generally lawless condition of the Southern Russian
- Republics, the great corn districts of those regions have for some
- years been falling out of cultivation; and no hopes are entertained
- that we shall be able to import any more grain from Odessa, or indeed
- from any quarter of the world. In a similar way, the native rulers to
- whom we restored what was formerly called our Indian Empire, and also
- China after its brief occupation, have so far adopted American and
- European ideas as to place for this next year such duties on rice and
- tea as will almost prohibit the importation of those articles into the
- English market, while they have positively forbidden the introduction
- of English cotton or iron into their respective States. The bad and
- deceptive quality of the goods furnished by our manufacturers is the
- alleged cause of these unfortunate regulations. SCIENCE will, no
- doubt, ere long enable us to supply the deficiencies thus caused both
- in our Commissariat and the income hitherto derived from manufacture;
- but, for the present, some anxiety is naturally felt in commercial
- circles regarding these untoward events. Against all mishaps, however,
- we rejoice to set the announcement—which will be greeted with
- universal exultation—that the researches of the learned Professor
- Coppervale respecting the animalculæ causing the Vine Disease, the
- Silk-worm Disease, and the Potato Disease, have resulted in the
- glorious discovery of a method of conveying the infection with
- absolute scientific certainty from a plant or insect which has been
- attacked to another still healthy. In this manner the vineyards of
- Château La Rose and of Château Yquem have both been effectively
- inoculated by the processes recommended by the English Professor to
- the French Director of Agriculture; and the result is perfectly
- satisfactory. Not a grape on either ground was available during the
- last vintage for wine-making. In the words, then, of an illustrious
- philosopher of last century, “From this vantage ground already won we
- look forward with confident hope to the triumph of science over all
- the loss and misery which the human race has experienced.” Anyone who
- has eaten a grape infected with the _phylloxera_ according to
- Professor Coppervale’s stupendous discovery, will have enjoyed a
- foretaste of the triumph of Science in ages to come.
-
- * * * * *
-
- Considerable excitement prevails just now in many of our large towns
- in consequence of the needful, but somewhat troublesome, formalities
- required by law before any trade or handicraft may be exercised.
- Blacksmiths’ apprentices, we are told, very generally resent the
- necessity of passing their proper examinations in Metallurgy before
- they are qualified to shoe a horse; and the Artificial Flower Makers
- constantly evade attendance at the lectures on Botany, given expressly
- for their benefit. The candidates for licenses as Cabdrivers have more
- than once exhibited signs of discontent, when rejected on the grounds
- that they failed to answer some of the simplest examination questions
- on the principles of Mechanics applied to Traction, and on the
- correlation of Heat and Motion, as discovered by the illustrious
- author of “Heat as a Mode of Motion.” A strike (it is even rumoured)
- is impending among the stonemasons and bricklayers and slaters in a
- certain large city, because the Police, at the order of the
- Magistrates, having brought up several members of those trade-unions
- to the Local Examining Board for inquiry, it was elicited that none of
- them had acquired a competent knowledge of Geology in general, nor
- even of the formation of the strata of rocks wherewith their proper
- business is concerned.
-
- These difficulties were to be anticipated in the progress of
- Scientific knowledge among the masses, and we earnestly hope that no
- proposal to relax the late very wise legislation will be made in
- Parliament, but rather to reinforce the existing Acts by severer
- penalties upon ignorance and inattention. Who can for a moment think,
- for example, of allowing his shirt to be washed by a person who knows
- nothing of the chemistry of soap, blue, and starch? or his dinner
- cooked by a man who (however skilled in the mere kitchen art of
- sending up appetising dishes) is totally ignorant of how much albumen,
- salts, and alkalies go to the formation of vegetable and animal diet?
-
- A kindred subject of unreasonable popular dissatisfaction are the
- Medical Certificates of good Health now legally required from men,
- women, and children performing any kind of labour in factories,
- warehouses, shops, fields, ships, or in domestic service. Obviously it
- is impossible to certify the health of any individual for more than a
- few days at a time, and the necessity which the recent Act enforces of
- obtaining a fresh certificate (and, of course, paying the doctor for
- it) every week, is felt by discontented persons as a burden unfairly
- laid upon them by the State. We regret that the process is, in truth,
- slightly troublesome and expensive (the _minimum_ fee for the humbler
- trades is, as our readers are aware, half-a-crown; for exercising the
- higher professions—artists, merchants, lawyers, &c.—5_s._), but it was
- recognised so long ago as 1876 as a right principle of legislation in
- the case of factory works, and it now forms so legitimate a source of
- regular income to a large body of most respectable medical gentlemen,
- who make it their business to grant certificates, that we cannot
- imagine anyone being so ill-advised as to suggest the repeal of the
- law. Of course the number of persons thus excluded from the labour
- market is very considerable indeed, but we must accept such a
- consequence as inevitable. Since cripples were rejected a century ago
- for the office of schoolmasters and schoolmistresses, the practice has
- been constantly followed of placing restrictions upon the feeble
- attempts at industry of persons labouring under natural defects and
- disabilities, and the Blind, for example, are no longer allowed to
- compete with the seeing in making mats and baskets. For all such
- wretched people there are open the proper asylums, the Hospital for
- the diseased, and the Workhouse for the feeble, the maimed, the deaf,
- and the blind. Charity itself can ask no more. The resistance of these
- unfortunates against entering these institutions must be put down. The
- world is, after all, made for the strong—the strong in mind, and the
- strong in body; and the notion that it is our business to “bear each
- other’s burdens” belonged altogether to an Unscientific age. What if
- physicians and surgeons _do_ try experiments daily on the patients in
- the hospitals, sometimes involving a good deal of pain, or loss of
- limb or life? These people are fed and housed, and often extravagantly
- fattened up on the most luxurious food, on the condition of serving
- the cause of Science as subjects of experiments. And what, again, if
- the children in the workhouses be given over now and then by the
- Guardians, at the request of the Medical authorities, for vivisection?
- They are nearly always placed under the influence of anæsthetics,
- indeed, we may say invariably so, unless the object of the experiment
- would be frustrated by their use. Could the humanest of our
- humanitarians ask anything more? The rule of SCIENCE is the most
- benign, as well as enlightened, the world has ever seen.
-
- * * * * *
-
- The sanitary interests of the community are now recognized on all
- hands as the supreme concern of the State, as the care of his own
- health and the prolongation of life at all costs are the chief ends of
- each individual man. We therefore commence our yearly review by noting
- in what manner the advance of SCIENCE, (in which lies our only hope,)
- has contributed during the past twelvemonth towards this grand object.
-
- The foremost place of honour is, of course, due to the discovery of
- the eminent Dr. Howlem of the scientific way to give Cholera; after
- which we may reckon Dr. Mowlem’s short method of conveying the Plague;
- and last, Dr. Bowlem’s most interesting and valuable plan for
- producing Leprosy. These immense discoveries (effected, it is needless
- to remark, by laborious pathological experiments on animals and
- idiots) may well make the past year memorable in the annals of the
- Science of Medicine; and though the particular specific remedies for
- the diseases in question have not yet been ascertained by the Faculty,
- we can scarcely fail to attain that secondary object ere long,
- together with the proper treatment of Consumption, Scarlet Fever, and
- other maladies which Science has been able to convey for the last
- hundred years, and _must_ ere long find out how to cure.
-
- Next in importance to actual discovery we are inclined to place the
- new Regulations which Parliament has laid down in obedience to the
- High Court of Convocation. The absolute prohibition to Women to read
- or write—even in cases where they may have formerly acquired those
- arts (now recognised as so unsuitable to their sex)—will, we
- apprehend, tell importantly on the health of infants, and of course
- eventually on that of the community. So long as females indulged in no
- more deleterious practices than dancing in hot rooms all night,
- unclothing their necks and chests, wearing thin slippers which exposed
- their feet to deadly chills, and tightening their waists till their
- ribs were crushed inwards, the Medical Profession very properly left
- them to follow their own devices with but little public remonstrance.
- The case was altered, however, when, three or four generations ago, a
- considerable movement was made for what was then called the Higher
- Education of women. The feeble brains of young females were actually
- taxed to study the now forgotten Greek and Latin languages, and even
- Mathematics and such Natural Science as was then understood. The
- result was truly alarming; for these poor creatures flung themselves
- with such energy into the pursuits opened to them, that, as one of
- their critics remarked, they resembled “the palmer-worm and the
- canker-worm—they devoured every green thing”—and not seldom surpassed
- their masculine competitors. At length they began to aim at entering
- the learned Professions—the Legal, and even the Medical. Our readers
- may be inclined to doubt the latter fact, which seems to involve
- actual absurdity, but there is evidence that there once existed two or
- three Lady Doctors in London, who, like Pope Joan in Rome, foisted
- themselves surreptitiously into an exalted position from which Nature
- should have debarred them. Of course it was the solemn duty of the
- Medical Profession to put a stop at once to an error which might lead
- to such a catastrophe, and numerous books were immediately written
- proving (what we all now acknowledge) that the culture of the brains
- of women is highly detrimental to their proper functions in the
- community; and, in short, that the more ignorant a woman may be, the
- more delightful she is as a wife, and the better qualified to fulfil
- the duties of a mother.
-
- Since SCIENCE has thoroughly gained the upper hand over Religious and
- other prejudices, the position of women, we are happy to say, has been
- steadily sinking, and the dream of a Higher Education has been
- replaced by the abolition of even Elementary Schools for girls, and
- now by the final Act of last Session, which renders it penal for any
- woman to read a hook or newspaper, or to write a letter. We anticipate
- the very happiest results from this thoroughly sound and manly
- legislation.
-
- The last sanitary event to which we need at present advert is the new
- law by which, on the certificate of any single Medical Graduate that a
- person is Insane, the police will be called on immediately to arrest
- and consign him to such mad-house as the Medical graduate shall
- appoint. The magistrate by whose order the arrest is made is left no
- option as to obeying the Medical graduate’s certificate, and we are
- glad also to see that, by another clause in the Act, the only
- remaining difficulty connected with these Asylums has been removed.
- None but a Medical graduate, responsible only to the great Medical
- Trades Union Council, is henceforth eligible to the office of
- Inspector of any Lunatic Asylum throughout the kingdom, nor can any
- Justice of the Peace grant an order for admittance or search, except
- to such a graduate. These wise and reasonable regulations will afford
- much satisfaction to the Medical gentlemen who have undertaken the
- arduous but not unprofitable profession of managers and proprietors of
- Lunatic Asylums.
-
- * * * * *
-
- Our prognostics of last New Year’s Day have been amply justified by
- the Summary of Crime for the past twelvemonth, which has just been
- published, according to the excellent recent appointment of the
- Registrar General of Offences. Crimes of the lesser class, such as
- murders, poisonings, electroding and exploding, have indeed increased
- considerably in number, and perhaps also in the degree of recklessness
- and violence exhibited by the offenders; but on the other hand, as we
- prophesied, those crimes which involve so much larger evils to the
- community—the detestable Homœopathic and Hydropathic heresies,
- Infidelity respecting the sacred doctrine of Evolution, neglect of
- Schooling, and neglect of Equination, Vaccination, Canination, and
- Porcination, have dwindled under the severe measures of punishment
- which we urged for so long on a too lax legislature, but which have at
- last been thoroughly enforced. We may really hope to see a few years
- hence the Reign of SCIENCE so complete that no man, woman, or child in
- the land will presume to whisper a doubt on any subject on which the
- Sanitary Office has pronounced, or attempt to evade the seasons
- appointed by authority for receiving the Rites above mentioned. The
- Act passed at the end of the last century, whereby certificates of
- Vaccination were substituted for all legal purposes for Baptismal
- certificates, was the first step towards the happy order of things
- under which we now have the privilege to dwell.
-
- Lest our readers should feel a not wholly unnatural anxiety, founded
- on the admitted increase of the lesser crimes to which we have
- adverted, we wish to remind them that such an occurrence was
- inevitable on the final collapse of Religion, and that we must be
- content to wait till Science shall have had time to substitute some
- more effectual checks on human passions than it has yet been in our
- power to apply. It is too obvious to need remark that since men have
- learned that Death is the end of their existence, they must be
- expected to seize more hastily and resolutely every pleasure which
- life may offer, nay, that it would be absurd and unscientific to
- expect them to do otherwise. Let us do justice to the old effete
- superstition, and admit that the delusive notion that an invisible
- Being watched human actions, loved good men, and would punish bad ones
- in another world, if not in the present, was calculated to exercise
- considerable influence of a beneficial sort on ordinary minds. Certain
- types of character (not now, of course, to be found in the world) seem
- to have flourished under the fictitious charm of these antique
- ideas—characters exhibiting a certain courage and unselfishness, of
- which it is scarcely possible to read without some little regret that
- they are not conformable with sounder philosophic views of the nature
- and destiny of man. People had, we must remember, in former days, four
- distinct motives for doing good instead of evil. First, they believed
- in an omnipotent Lord and Master whom they called “God.” 2nd, they
- believed in a sacred internal Guide whom they called Conscience; and
- 3rd, they believed in a peculiar principle of action which they called
- Honour. After all these came the Criminal Law, ready to punish those
- who neglected what were deemed to be loftier motives. Now we, in this
- glorious _Age of Science_, must remember that of all these four
- incentives to virtue only one remains. We know there is no God, or, at
- least, that, if there be, he is Unknown and Unknowable; and we are
- persuaded that Conscience is merely the inherited prejudice of our
- barbarous ancestors in favour of the class of actions which were found
- conducive to the welfare of the tribe. As to the Law of Honour, men
- had already begun to forget what it signified a hundred years ago,
- when the Age of SCIENCE was just dawning, for we find at that epoch a
- writer of considerable pretensions, in a periodical called the
- _Fortnightly Review_, actually asserting that its standard “is
- submission not to Law but to Opinion ... deference to the opinion of a
- particular class.” Up to that period we think it was universally
- understood by “honourable” persons to signify, quite on the contrary,
- Reverence for an inward standard of rectitude, truth, and generosity;
- for a man’s own private sense of Honour and self-respect, which he
- would not forfeit to gain the applause of a world. In our time, of
- course, it is needless to say that all these fine ideal sentiments
- have gone utterly out of vogue, and, having left them behind us, we
- have only the Criminal Law on which to rely for the protection of life
- and property. It is needless to repeat that the delusive exhortations
- of some amiable but short-sighted philosophers of the last century to
- “labour for the good of Humanity in future generations” (a motive
- which they supposed would prove a substitute for the old Historic
- Religions) have been once and for all answered by the grand discovery
- of the Astronomers that our planet cannot long remain the habitation
- of man (even if it escape any sidereal explosion) since the Solar heat
- is undergoing such rapid exhaustion. When the day comes—as come it
- must—when the fruits of the earth perish one by one, when the dead and
- silent woods petrify, and all the races of animals become extinct—when
- the icy seas flow no longer, and the pallid Sun shines dimly over the
- frozen world, locked like the Moon in eternal frost and
- lifelessness—what, in that day predicted so surely by Science, will
- avail all the works, and hopes, and martyrdoms of man? All the stores
- of knowledge which we shall have accumulated will be for ever lost.
- Our discoveries, whereby we have become the lords of creation and
- wielded the great forces of Nature, will be useless and forgotten. The
- virtues which have been perfected, the genius which has glorified, the
- love which has blessed the human race, will all perish along with it.
- Our libraries of books, our galleries of pictures, our fleets, our
- railroads, our vast and busy cities, will be desolate and useless for
- evermore. No intelligent eye will ever behold them; and no mind in the
- universe will know or remember that there ever existed such a being as
- Man. _This_ is what SCIENCE teaches us unerringly to expect,—and in
- view of it, who shall talk to us of “labouring for the sake of
- Humanity”? The enthusiasm which could work disinterestedly for a
- Progress destined inevitably to end in an eternal Glacial Period must
- be recognised as a dream, wherein no man in a Scientific Age can long
- indulge.
-
- There is, then, but one Method on which we can rely to repress human
- passions and hold together the somewhat brittle chain of Society. That
- method is the Scientific Treatment of Crime, under such conditions as
- careful investigation and experiments may prove to be best suited to
- effect its cure. We can hold out no supersensual motives to the
- _Minds_ of the multitude, but we can treat their _Bodies_ in the very
- best manner possible to render them virtuous and industrious citizens.
- It is true that as yet the results of our efforts in this direction
- have not been very satisfactory. The salutary processes employed in
- the Penal Hospitals under the most eminent physicians have not been
- altogether crowned with success; and crime of the violent kind
- increases year by year almost in geometrical proportion. Nevertheless,
- it would ill become any of us who have the privilege to live in this
- enlightened age to entertain a shadow of a doubt that our Scientific
- method is the right one, and that by-and-by (while we respectfully
- wait the results of their experiments) our great Medical men will
- discover the proper remedies for murder, rape, and robbery. For our
- own part, it is superfluous to assure our readers, we retain
- unwavering, unbounded faith in the resources of SCIENCE to provide a
- perfect substitute for Religion, for Conscience, and for Honour.
-
-
- J. OGDEN AND CO., PRINTERS, 172, ST. JOHN STREET, E.C.
-
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-
-
-
-
- TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES
-
-
- 1. Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling.
- 2. Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed.
- 3. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.
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-<pre style='margin-bottom:6em;'>The Project Gutenberg EBook of The age of science, by Merlin Nostradamus
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this ebook.
-
-Title: The age of science
-
-Subtitle: A newspaper of the twentieth century
-
-Author: Merlin Nostradamus
-
-Release Date: October 31, 2020 [EBook #63581]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading
- Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from
- images made available by the HathiTrust Digital Library.)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AGE OF SCIENCE ***
-</pre>
-<div class='tnotes covernote'>
-
-<p class='c000'><b>Transcriber’s Note:</b></p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The cover image was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='titlepage'>
-
-<div>
- <h1 class='c001'>THE AGE OF SCIENCE.<br /> <span class='large'><em>A NEWSPAPER OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY.</em></span></h1>
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div>BY</div>
- <div><span class='xlarge'>MERLIN NOSTRADAMUS.</span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“Forerun thy time, thy peers, and let</div>
- <div class='line'>Thy feet, milleniums hence, be set</div>
- <div class='line'>In midst of knowledge dreamed not yet:</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>       ·       ·       ·       ·       ·</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Thou hast not gained a real height,</div>
- <div class='line'>Nor art thou nearer to the light.”</div>
- <div class='line in30'><cite>Two Voices.</cite></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='figcenter id001'>
-<img src='images/title.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
- <div class='nf-center'>
- <div><span class='large'><em>LONDON</em>:</span></div>
- <div><span class='large'>WARD, LOCK, AND TYLER,</span></div>
- <div><span class='sc'>Warwick House, Paternoster Row</span>.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c003'>
- <div><span class='small'>LONDON:</span></div>
- <div><span class='small'>PRINTED BY J. OGDEN AND CO.,</span></div>
- <div><span class='small'>172, ST. JOHN STREET, E.C.</span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_3'>3</span>
- <h2 class='c004'>THE AGE OF SCIENCE</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c005'>The greatest discovery ever achieved by man is
-beyond all question that which it is now our privilege
-to announce, namely, that of the new <span class='sc'>Prospective
-Telegraph</span>. By this truly wonderful invention
-(exquisitely simple in its machinery, yet of surpassing
-power) the obstacle of <em>Time</em> is as effectually
-conquered as that of <em>Space</em> has been for the last
-generation by the Electric Telegraph; and future
-years—even, it is anticipated, future centuries—will
-be made to respond to our call as promptly
-and completely as do now the uttermost parts of
-the earth wherewith the magic wire has placed us
-in communication.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>For obvious reasons the particulars of this most
-marvellous invention, and the name of its author,
-must be withheld from the public till the patents
-be made out, and the enormous profits which must
-accrue from its application be secured to the Company
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_4'>4</span>which is invited to undertake to work it (with
-limited liability). We are only permitted by special
-favour to hint that the natural Force relied on to set
-the machinery in action is neither Electric, Magnetic,
-nor Galvanic; nor yet any combination of these; but
-that other great correlated imponderable agency, whose
-existence has been for some time suspected by many
-intelligent inquirers, called the <em>Psychic Force</em>, whose
-laws of action it has been reserved for this new and
-greater <span class='sc'>Wheatstone</span> to develop and apply to practical
-utility. That no scepticism may linger in the
-minds of our readers, we desire to add that we have
-been gratified by the actual inspection of several
-short fragments forestalled by this invaluable process
-from the press of the next fifty, eighty, and one
-hundred and thirty years respectively; and have at
-this moment in our hands a complete transcript
-(the most important document of the series) of a
-newspaper bearing date January 1st, 1977, photographed
-in a very beautiful manner by the machine
-upon an enormous sheet of paper, which was
-found needful to contain the type in the most
-compressed form. As the printed matter of this
-gigantic periodical equals at least in bulk the whole
-of Gibbon’s History, or Mr. Jowett’s edition of
-Plato, we cannot attempt to do more than offer our
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_5'>5</span>readers a few brief extracts, serving, however, we trust,
-as not inadequate samples of the literary treasures
-which are shortly to be revealed to our curiosity,
-and satisfying even the most incredulous that the
-invention of which we speak has been crowned with
-triumphant success. We have only to add that
-the great originator of this discovery entertains
-hopes that, by an ingenious <em>inversion</em> of the action
-of his machine, he may be able to convert it, when
-required, into a <span class='sc'>Retrospective Telegraph</span>, bringing
-back the Past, as it already antedates the Future,
-and restoring to us all the records of antiquity
-whose loss we have deplored, as, for example, the
-Odes of Sappho, the missing Books of Livy,
-the Prometheus Unbound of Æschylus, and the
-original MSS. of the Vedas, the Zend Avesta, and
-the Pentateuch. The final completion of this latter
-discovery, however, is scarcely perfected, and we
-shall not therefore pause to describe its probable
-value, but proceed without further delay to put our
-readers in possession of all the details for which we
-can find space concerning the Newspaper of 1977,
-which has been very sagaciously selected by the
-inventor as the first fruits of the working of his
-Prospective Machine.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The name of this journal (which, we conclude, may
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_6'>6</span>be considered as the <em>Times</em> of the twentieth century)
-is</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
- <div class='nf-center'>
- <div><span class='large'>THE AGE OF SCIENCE,</span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c007'>and obviously refers with pride to the consciousness
-of its readers that they live in a period of the world’s
-history when Science reigns supreme over human
-affairs, having achieved unimaginable triumphs, and
-altogether superseded most of the pursuits of mankind
-in ruder ages, such as War, the Chase, Literature,
-Art, and Religion. This appropriate title is
-printed, we may remark, in the largest and clearest
-possible Roman type, instead of in the Old English
-character now commonly used for a similar
-purpose. No fount, indeed, which we have ever seen
-employed, save in a few old Italian folio <i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">éditions de
-luxe</span></i>, has type so large and legible as that in which
-the whole newspaper is printed, the greatest care
-apparently being taken to spare the eyes—or perhaps
-we should say the spectacles—of the readers, since,
-judging from the opticians’ advertisements of “Spectacles
-for Infants,” “Spectacles for Elementary
-Schools by the gross,” and “Cautions to Mothers”
-against allowing babies to use their eyes, it would
-appear that unassisted vision had become rare, if not
-unknown. There are ten columns on each page, each
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_7'>7</span>ten times as long as it is broad, and there are a
-hundred pages in the journal, proving that the
-decimal system has been thoroughly adopted even in
-such details. Spread out open, the <cite>Age of Science</cite>
-would cover the floor of a very large hall, and we
-apprehend from certain marks that a convenient
-method of suspending it on pulleys from the ceiling,
-must have superseded our clumsy practice of holding
-our papers with extended arms.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Proceeding to peruse the intensely interesting
-contents of the <cite>Age of Science</cite>, we first note that
-it is written in English differing from our own
-chiefly by the use of a strange and, to our eyes, barbarous
-orthography, (intended, we presume, to facilitate
-elementary education,) and by the introduction
-of a vast number of technical terms of the class we
-reserve for scientific treatises, but which are apparently
-brought into use in everyday parlance. The
-familiarity of the contributors with all gases, fluids,
-and substances of chemistry, all the bones of all the
-beasts, birds, and fishes which live, or ever did live,
-on this planet, and all the diseases incidental to
-humanity, speaks volumes for the superiority of their
-scientific education over our own. At the same
-time, on two or three occasions when illustrations
-have been chosen from past History or Poetry, the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_8'>8</span>writers betray that their studies have not been much
-extended in the direction of Literature. One gentleman
-thinks that Mr. <span class='sc'>Gladstone</span> wrote the Iliad
-on hints afforded by Dr. Schliemann, and that
-<span class='sc'>Milton</span> was the author of the Book of Genesis.
-Another refers to the period when Rome was founded
-by <span class='sc'>Romeo</span> and <span class='sc'>Juliet</span>, while a third mentions the
-“once celebrated <cite>Divina Commedia</cite> by <span class='sc'>Moliere</span>,”
-and regrets that “so curious a specimen of archaic
-Japanese art as Titian’s ‘Assumption’ should not
-have been spared from the pile in which the ‘Transfiguration’
-of <em>Phidias</em> and the ‘Last Supper’ of
-<em>Praxiteles</em> were so judiciously destroyed by order of
-the Committee of the Royal Academy, to put a stop
-to the propagation of bad æsthetic taste.” For the
-intelligence of our readers we shall be compelled to
-translate the singular phraseology of the <cite>Age of
-Science</cite> as nearly as possible into familiar English,
-and our present spelling; and shall only quote a
-few of the Leading Articles, touching on specially
-interesting topics, out of the twenty-five which the
-vast newspaper publishes as its daily contribution.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The arrangement of the <cite>Age of Science</cite> is a little
-different from and more logical than that of our journals.
-The first page is rationally devoted to <span class='sc'>Telegraphic
-Intelligence</span>, which everyone may be supposed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_9'>9</span>to desire first to read. Instead of political news,
-however, or records of battles, deaths of eminent
-personages, floods, storms, or fires, these telegrams
-consist exclusively of minute verbatim reports of the
-proceedings of above ninety Scientific Congresses,
-which seem to be taking place at the same time in
-Europe, Asia, America, Australia, and even in one
-instance (a Geographical Meeting) in Africa, on the
-shore of Lake Albert Nyanza. The various sections
-of the British Association have been obviously long
-broken up, and again divided and subdivided till
-separate congresses have been found desirable for
-each department.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>It would occupy more space than the whole of
-this volume to offer even the briefest condensation
-of these Reports, as the discussions and papers of
-the learned members of the different congresses are
-carried on chiefly in terms quite unintelligible to us,
-and refer to scientific disputes to which we do not
-possess a clue. We must pass over these columns of
-the <cite>Age of Science</cite>, and proceed to the next department,
-which is a Report of the <span class='sc'>Assembly of Convocation</span>—a
-topic which we were surprised to find
-possessed such prominent interest, till we discovered
-that the Convocation of 1977 will consist exclusively
-of Medical men. The Upper House seems to be
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_10'>10</span>formed of Physicians and Surgeons who have
-obtained titles of Nobility, and take rank according
-to the dioceses over which they exercise medical
-supervision, and the Lower House to be a representative
-body elected by medical graduates throughout
-the kingdom.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The meetings for the Province of Canterbury take
-place respectively in Henry the Seventh’s Chapel,
-and in the nave of Westminster Abbey; Jerusalem
-Chamber and the Board Room of the Bounty Office
-having probably proved inconveniently small, and
-the whole Abbey (as we learn accidentally from a
-paragraph in another part of the paper) having been
-“set aside, since the Dissolution of the Churches,
-for the use of the Medical Profession, and for anatomical
-and physiological lectures and craniological
-researches, for which latter purpose the vaults beneath
-offer peculiarly interesting specimens.”</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The Report runs as follows:—</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='large'><em>PROVINCE OF CANTERBURY.</em></span></div>
- <div class='c008'>UPPER HOUSE.</div>
- <div class='c008'><span class='sc'>Session ccxli.</span>—Monday, January 1st, 1977.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'>The House assembled at eleven o’clock in Henry VII.’s
-Chapel, pursuant to the order of prorogation. His
-Grace the Lord Archphysician of Canterbury presided.
-There were also present the Right Rev. Lord Doctors of
-Winchester, London, Oxford, Ely, Salisbury, Exeter,
-Lincoln, and Peterborough. After the presentation of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_11'>11</span>sixty-four Petitions, a Report was received from the
-Venerable Congregation of the Index, which was approved
-and ordered to lie on the table. Among the works whose
-perusal will henceforth be prohibited to the laity will be
-found all Medical Guides and Treatises on Domestic
-Medicine, Household Surgery, and the like, which have
-pretended to direct the multitude how to cure or prevent
-disease without the aid of a physician. As the
-Lord Doctor of Lincoln judiciously observed, “the
-heresy involved was precisely analogous to that of the old
-religious sect of Protestants, who taught the ignorant
-laity that they might save their souls without applying
-to a priest. Doctors,” his lordship added, “were the
-appointed Ministers of the Body, and the man who
-imagined his health could be saved without them would
-find out his error when it was too late.”</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div>LOWER HOUSE.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'>The Doctors, Archdoctors, and Pro-Apothecaries constituting
-the Lower House of Convocation assembled in
-the Nave of Westminster Abbey at 11 o’clock. The
-Very Eminent Cyrup Camomile, M.D., Archdoctor of
-Cheltenham, Prolocutor, presided.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>The Prolocutor having bowed to the busts of Hippocrates,
-Galen, and Harvey (a ceremony which has been
-substituted for the old form of prayers), præconization
-was taken by the actuary of the names of members;
-assessors were appointed, and a multitude of petitions
-presented. The Schedules of Gravamina and Reformanda
-were then called for. Among the former the
-most important (which was sent up at once to the Upper
-House as an <i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Articulus Medici</span></i>) was the gravamen of the
-Archapothecary of Sarum, which set forth that, contrary
-the interests of the profession and ordinary usage, a
-Coroner had been recently elected for the county of
-Dorset who was not a Medical Man. Another gravamen
-referred to the inadequacy of the fees to be legally
-claimed by Doctors for granting Certificates of Birth,
-Vaccination, Equination, Porcination, Sanitary Fitness for
-Factory or other labours, Fitness for Marriage, and, finally,
-the most important Certificates of having died under
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_12'>12</span>due Medical care and supervision, and being consequently
-admissible for Cremation.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>Members were then called upon to give notice of
-motions, and discussions followed on those of Sir William
-Puffin—</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>That Convocation should remonstrate with Her
-Majesty’s Ministers for the laxity wherewith the laws
-relating to Medical Heretics are enforced.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>Of Sir Andrew Scrivener—</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>That Convocation should desire Her Majesty’s Secretary
-of State for Home Affairs to introduce immediately
-into Parliament a Bill prohibiting Dinner Parties, exceeding
-seven persons in number, to be held without
-the presence of a qualified Physician or Surgeon.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>Of Dr. Aqua Fortis—</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>That a Bill should be likewise required, compelling
-Railway and Steamboat Companies to employ, at suitable
-salaries, a staff of properly qualified Surgeons, one of
-whom at least should travel by every train and on every
-steamboat.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>And of Dr. Scurvydrop—</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>That a Deputation from Convocation should wait on
-the Lords of the Admiralty to remonstrate on the subordinate
-position allotted to Surgeons on board Her
-Majesty’s Ships, and to demand that the Medical Officer
-should at all times (except when the immediate conduct
-of the ship is in question) takes precedence of the Captain
-as Commander.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>A similar motion was made by Dr. Turniquet for a
-deputation to the Horse Guards on behalf of the Army
-Surgeons, and was, like all the preceding motions, adopted
-unanimously.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The Report concludes with the observation—</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>As Parliament does not meet for another week, there
-must be a delay of a few days before the recommendations
-of Convocation are carried into effect, but it is unnecessary
-to remark that they will be adopted unchallenged
-by the Legislature. Since the solemn Protest, carried by
-the 50,000 doctors, who marched down Whitehall in procession,
-“against the Interference of the Secular Power
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_13'>13</span>in Things Medical,” no Minister of the Crown, much less
-any private member, has attempted to move an Amendment
-to any of the numerous Bills presented by the
-profession.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>After the Report of Convocation, the <cite>Age of
-Science</cite> contains one column of <span class='sc'>Stocks and Shares</span>,
-not possessing any special interest for readers of
-the present day, but appearing to prove, strangely
-enough, that investments are much fewer than in our
-time, and cannot be made in any Foreign securities.
-After these, in lieu both of <span class='sc'>Naval and Military
-Intelligence</span>, and of the <span class='sc'>Church</span>, five columns are
-devoted to <span class='sc'>Medical Appointments and Promotions</span>,
-and to a considerable correspondence on the proposed
-endowment of two new Physicianships (with seats
-in the House of Lords) at St. Albans and Truro.
-After all these we find twenty columns devoted to
-<span class='sc'>Latest Intelligence</span>, in short paragraphs, of which
-we cull a few of the most interesting.</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><em>OCCASIONAL NOTES.</em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'>The magnificent Joss House now in process of
-erection by the Chinese of London forms a striking
-ornament to Regent Street, standing as it does
-on the site of the old deserted Langham Chapel.
-It will, we imagine, be the only place dedicated
-to religious purposes which has been built during
-the last twenty years in the metropolis, and
-almost the only one in actual use. Although we
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_14'>14</span>cannot, of course, ourselves, as a Scientific nation,
-formally join in the worship of Buddha, we must
-all regard with sympathy and satisfaction the
-honours paid to that great Teacher by the very
-important section of our community, the Chinese
-day labourers and domestic servants, of whom it
-is said more than half a million have contributed
-to the erection and adornment of this Temple.
-Considering the impossibility of inducing Englishmen
-to undertake in these days the lower kinds
-of work, we should come altogether to a standstill
-were it not for the tens of thousands of industrious
-Chinese who have replenished our labour market.
-The statue of Buddha is a noble work of modern
-sculpture by Mr. Merino. The traditional pose
-of the crossed legs is slightly altered to bring
-them within the rules of scientific anatomy, and
-the Sage is obviously pondering those profound
-lessons of Pessimism (that it is a bad world we
-live in, and that we need not expect a better)
-which have justly secured for him the reverence of
-cultivated Europe.</p>
-
-<hr class='c010' />
-
-<p class='c009'>An accident of the ordinary sort occurred last
-night to the new Magnetic train, which was at
-the moment passing under the Channel, about 10
-miles from Dover. From messages sent by the
-portable electric machine along the wires the
-moment before the catastrophe took place, it
-would appear that the engineers have been again
-at fault in the construction of the roof of the
-tunnel, and that the sea was rushing in with such
-violence that little hopes were entertained of bringing
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_15'>15</span>the train to the next watertight compartment.
-The result justified these fears, for the whole
-compartment of the tunnel in which the train was
-stopped is to-day entirely full of water, and it
-must be assumed that the unfortunate passengers—numbering,
-it is supposed, about 800—have
-been drowned like so many rats in a trap. The
-accident is unfortunate for the proprietors of
-Submarine Tunnel Stock, and also for several
-Insurance Companies, as extensive repairs will be
-required; but Science teaches us to regard these
-occurrences with composure, as serving to check
-the increase of a superabundant population.</p>
-
-<hr class='c010' />
-
-<p class='c009'>The Simian Educational Institute (on Frobel’s
-system), for members of the Ape family,
-continues to attract the strongest interest. In
-testing the educability of the Simian tribe we are
-solving one of the most important problems of
-Science, and hitherto everything seems to promise
-the triumphant success of the experiment. There
-are now among the pupils at the Institute three
-Chimpanzees, whose grandfathers and grandmothers
-have all been well-educated monkeys; so
-that the set of the brain of these young people is
-already marked towards progress and civilization.
-It is needless to observe that all the students are
-required to wash and dress themselves every
-morning in the becoming male and female habiliments
-provided by the taste of the Governors of
-the Institute. Great pains are also taken with
-their manners at meal times, and, to avoid temptation,
-nuts are not admitted at dessert. One of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_16'>16</span>young gentlemen (Joseph Macacus Silenus, Esq.,
-generally known by his intimates as “Joe”) is said
-to exhibit extraordinary talents, and to be able to
-answer any question in elementary science by means
-of an alphabet and a system of knocks, which (in
-view of the yet unconquerable speechlessness of
-monkeys) has been accepted as the best substitute
-for language, having been formerly invented by an
-ingenious race of impostors named Mediums, who
-flourished in the obscurity of the Victorian age.
-The plan adopted in France, in deference to the
-advice of the great French naturalist, M. Houzeau,
-to employ the anthropoid apes as domestic servants,
-has proved, we are informed, altogether
-successful in several families. Madame Le Singe,
-a fine specimen of the Gorilla tribe, has acted for
-some months as confidential Nurse in the family
-of a distinguished Member of the Institute (M.
-Gobemouche), and is said to maintain discipline
-among her charges excellently well. It is an
-instructive spectacle to see Madame Le Singe
-walking on a fine day with the children, and
-pushing a perambulator in the Gardens of the
-Tuileries. The more ordinary employment found,
-however, for domestic Apes is that of cooks, when
-it is observed they occasionally call in the services
-of the household cat to assist them as kitchenmaid,
-especially when roast chestnuts form part of the
-entertainment.</p>
-
-<hr class='c010' />
-
-<p class='c009'>The cheerful ceremony of opening the new
-“Incineration Hall” was performed an hour ago
-in Manchester by the Lord Doctor of Manchester,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_17'>17</span>attended by the Mayor. It is a magnificent building,
-with a furnace capable of reducing 12 bodies
-at a time to ashes, which, after a certain period,
-will be used in the manufacture of water-filters for
-the drinking-fountains of the town. It is specially
-fortunate that the Hall can be employed at once,
-since the number of persons despatched by Euthanasia
-has been so great during the past week
-all over the country that the other Cremation
-establishments have proved inadequate to dispose
-of the corpses with sufficient rapidity.</p>
-
-<hr class='c010' />
-
-<p class='c009'>An important addition has been made to that
-instructive place of public amusement, the Zoological
-Gardens in Regent’s Park. The ground
-formerly occupied by a great Dissenting College
-(long in ruins) has been devoted to a department
-destined to contain those species of animals which
-are rapidly dying out in Europe, and which, if not
-thus carefully preserved, must soon be lost altogether
-to Zoological science. Among these are
-the Ass, the Fox, the Dog, the Hare, the Pheasant,
-and Partridge. In this age of Science it is, of
-course, impossible to go on employing a creature
-like the Donkey, proverbial for its intellectual
-deficiency, and we have no regret that only two
-pair of animals of the species (both in the Regent’s
-Park collection) now survive in England, though
-a few are said to linger in Egypt. Connected with
-the dog (<em>Canis Familiaris</em>) there are so many
-traditional records of sagacity, having a certain
-scientific interest in connection with the form and
-size of its brain, that we should have been glad if
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_18'>18</span>a more complete collection of the varieties could
-have been preserved. The Foxhound, however,
-the Greyhound, Setter, and Pointer, seem all to
-have become extinct within about thirty years of
-the repeal of the Game Laws and the consequent
-cessation of held sports; and several of the
-more favoured kinds of dogs—Italian Greyhounds,
-Toy Terriers, Pomeranians, and Poodles—were, it
-is said, privately destroyed by hundreds by their
-owners, who disgracefully sought to withdraw
-them from the researches of physiologists. The
-remaining kinds have been perhaps rather recklessly
-used by vivisectors, whose ardour in the
-noble cause of science has caused them to experiment,
-on an average, on about 14,000 dogs apiece
-(an example originally set by the sainted Maurizio
-Schiff), and the result has been that we only find
-at present twelve animals surviving, of whom nine
-belong to the class Mongrel. One noble old Newfoundland,
-who would have greatly graced the
-collection, was, it is said, drowned by his owner
-last year under interesting circumstances. The
-dog was much devoted to his master (a celebrated
-physiologist), and especially to his boy, a child of
-six years old. One day the little fellow fell out
-of a boat, and sank for the last time, when the
-dog arrived, and with immense difficulty (the water
-being very deep and stormy) dived for him and
-brought him safe to shore. The animal itself was
-so nearly exhausted that its stertorous breathing
-and other symptoms suggested to the physiologist
-the scientific interest which would attach to watching
-it slowly drowning in a suitable vessel, where
-all the conditions of that death could be accurately
-investigated on so large a scale as that of a full
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_19'>19</span>sized dog. The learned gentleman accordingly,
-in obedience to these fine and fleeting suggestions
-of the intellect, drowned the animal in a tub in
-his physiological laboratory as soon as his son was
-sufficiently recovered to witness the instructive
-and entertaining spectacle. The dog, when withdrawn
-half dead for a moment from the water,
-having attempted to lick the boy’s face, the child
-was weak enough to implore his father to spare it;
-but the learned gentleman of course pointed out
-to the boy the folly of such a request, and the
-experiment was completed. We trust to see this
-young gentleman hereafter as sound and eminent
-a physiologist as his distinguished father.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>After some five columns more of similar <em>Intelligence</em>,
-the <cite>Age of Science</cite> proceeds to give its readers
-a few Reviews of Books. The brevity of the remarks
-vouchsafed to these productions seems to
-indicate that no great importance is attached to
-Literature properly so called, but only to treatises
-on Physical Science.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The Notices run as follow:—</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><em>REVIEWS.</em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'>We do not usually in the <cite>Age of Science</cite> intrude
-on the province of the sixteen leading daily Scientific
-Newspapers devoted to critical notices of the
-books which pour from the press on Electrology,
-Physiology, Astronomy, Geology, &amp;c. We are
-tempted to depart from our rule, however, so far as to
-offer our meed of applause and congratulation on the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_20'>20</span>publication of the last of the six splendid volumes
-forming the magnificent monograph on <span class='sc'>Cheese-mites</span>,
-and the still more costly and exhaustive
-treatise on the great mystery of the <span class='sc'>Formation
-of Dust in Disused Apartments. The Analysis
-of the Dust Bin</span>, which constitutes Book VIII.
-of this noble work, is a triumph of scientific investigation
-and (to employ an obviously appropriate
-term) of industry. In the inferior non-scientific
-walks of Literature we find that no Histories have
-been published during the last twelvemonth, and
-only one <em>Historical Essay</em>, namely:—</p>
-
-<p class='c009'><cite>The Fall of the Church of England.</cite> By the
-late (and last) Dean of Westminster. The author
-of this book composed it, we are informed, during
-his retirement in the Isle of Anglesea, whither,
-like most of the clergy, and the Druids in former
-ages, he retreated after the great victory gained by
-Science, when the Cathedrals and Churches were
-made over by Parliament to the Medical Profession.
-The Dean traces the fall of the Anglican Establishment
-to the disrepute into which it had sunk in
-consequence of the folly of a party in the Church,
-who, in an age of doubt and transition, when religion
-needed to be presented in its most spiritual
-shape, made it appear by their practices a matter
-of rites and forms altogether childish. It is quite
-possible that these idle doings may have contributed
-to make sensible men impatient and contemptuous,
-but we are persuaded that the abolition
-of the Churches was due to a deeper and more
-widespread cause, namely, the growth of that sound
-philosophy which recognises Matter as containing
-itself the germ and potency of every form of life,
-and, of course, dismisses the dream of a Soul in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_21'>21</span>man, which might enjoy existence after death. As
-soon as this great truth had had time to penetrate
-the minds of the masses, the collapse of Religion
-obviously became imminent. The sole attention
-and hopes of all classes have since been confined
-to the preservation of health and the extension of
-life to the utmost term of old age. That we have
-<em>bodies</em>, nobody can for a moment question, and we
-properly recognise as our guides and masters the
-Doctors who remedy their diseases. We have
-satisfied ourselves that we have no <em>Souls</em>, and it
-would be truly absurd to expect of us to maintain
-an order of clergy to undertake their “cure.”
-The endowments originally devoted to the latter
-profession have been naturally and fitly transferred
-to the former.</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><em>POETRY.</em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'><cite>The Loves of the Triangles.</cite> Reprinted from the
-<cite>Anti-Jacobin</cite>. We rejoice to see the merits of this
-Poem recognised at last, and the stupid idea of some
-dull critics that it was intended as a travesty exploded
-in this graver age. With the exception of the
-<cite>De Rerum Natura</cite> of Lucretius, and of Darwin’s
-<cite>Botanic Garden</cite>, it is almost the only poem bequeathed
-to us by the past worthy of retaining a
-place in our libraries.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'><cite>The Gout, and other Poems.</cite> By the Poet
-Laureate. We warmly commend this beautiful
-and affecting volume, especially to our youthful
-readers. The accuracy wherewith the peculiarly
-poignant pangs of Arthritis are delineated is beyond
-praise. We should, however, recommend
-the omission of the episode of the patient’s marriage
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_22'>22</span>to his shampooer. It is a tribute to that
-false taste which requires Poetry to deal with
-Romance instead of with the facts of Science.</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><em>FICTION.</em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'><cite>The Precession of the Equinox, and other Tales.</cite>
-By Wilkinson Collinson, Esq. This is a highly
-sensational story, and will sell like wildfire at the
-bookstalls. The interest of the plot turns on the
-phenomenon in question, but embraces subsidiary
-problems respecting the sun’s path through the
-Zodiac.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'><cite>Daniel Allround.</cite> By George Evans. The
-chief attraction of this book lies in the abstruse
-technical terminology which the author has employed
-to illustrate profound observations of men
-and things. From this point of view the work has
-a certain scientific value, but too much space is
-lost by delineations of characters without tracing
-them to the laws of Heredity.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'><cite>Edwin and Angelina.</cite> By J. Fitzparnell.
-Taking for his guidance the observation of the
-immortal Bain, that the Tender Emotions are
-exclusively Glandular Affections, the author of this
-charming novel has afforded his readers a perfect
-study of the effects of each of the passions—Pity,
-Sympathy, Regret, Disappointment, Hope, and
-Love—on the various glands which they respectively
-affect. A simple love story naturally describes
-each emotion in its turn, and allows us
-to pause and acquaint ourselves with its physiological
-results. The lucid explanation of the
-physiological reasons why Mothers love their
-children is particularly valuable, as calculated to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_23'>23</span>explode the last stronghold of the superstitious
-reverence which was once paid to parents among
-semi-civilized nations.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>After these critical Notices of Books, the <cite>Age of
-Science</cite> proceeds to offer the following remarks on
-Art and the Drama:—</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><em>EXHIBITION OF THE ROYAL ACADEMY OF ARTS.</em></div>
- <div class='c008'><span class='sc'>First Notice.</span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'>To-day being the first of the New Year, this Exhibition
-was as usual opened to the public, and we think all true
-lovers of Art will agree that it is a most satisfactory one,
-and displays more than the usual average merit of our
-Exhibitions, whether we consider the aggregate number of
-important works, their size, their execution, or the noble
-prices they have realised to their authors; such prices
-having been, according to the lately adopted custom,
-published in the catalogues issued after the day of the
-Private View, when connoisseurs have made their selection
-of the works not previously disposed of in the
-<i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">ateliers</span></i> of the artists. This (which is, after all, the true
-test of success) greatly enhances the interest of these
-catalogues, affording a guide as to the degree of public
-favour in which the respective artists are held. Reform
-in the Academy itself, so long demanded, has been at
-last effected, in spite of all the obstacles thrown in the
-way of the reformers, who desired to break down the
-monopoly so long maintained by the painters and sculptors,
-who would only consent to the admission of a limited
-number of architects and engravers into their privileged
-body. Now, at last, the claims of all artists have been
-recognised, and Decorators, Carpet-designers, Metalworkers
-and Electrotypers, Wood Carvers, &amp;c. &amp;c., have
-been admitted within its walls, and the magic letters R.A.
-may frequently be found attached to the names of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_24'>24</span>leading members of many of our manufacturing firms. In
-fact, we may say that Painting and Sculpture have found
-their level, and now that the great canon of Art has
-been thoroughly established, and it is acknowledged that
-<em>Utility</em>, not <em>Beauty</em>, is its only legitimate aim, and Scientific
-Reality and Accuracy, not wild attempts at attaining
-a so-called Ideality, its true goal of perfection, the
-merits of these too-long unrecognised geniuses have been
-found to surpass all others. The mechanical helps with
-which Science has supplied us have rendered it possible
-to accomplish feats of which our ancestors had no idea.
-Photography has enabled us to reproduce all possible
-forms, thus securing, with great economy of labour, the
-facile execution of stupendous works adapted for the
-decoration of the outside as well as the inside of our
-buildings. In this Exhibition, of course, these gigantic
-works cannot be seen, but the smaller ones by the
-same artists give us good specimens of their power.
-No. 3,004, for instance, is well worthy the attention of
-visitors. It is intended, as the catalogue informs us, for
-the wall decoration of the Terminus of the Great Central
-Balloon Station, and gives a very wonderfully correct representation
-of the three Provinces into which London is
-now divided, as seen from the distance of six miles above
-the height of St. Paul’s. Every roof and chimney is
-accurately represented, and every feature of the smallest
-interest, on the scale of an inch to a mile. Portrait-painting
-may be said to have been entirely superseded
-now that the Sun has been compelled to add colour to
-form in the pictures taken by the photographic camera,
-and Landscape Art has died out in its old inaccurate
-fanciful sense, having been succeeded by a more scientific
-method of representing Nature as she really is. The
-geological formation of every mountain, the physiology
-of each tree and blade of grass, as determined by
-expert geologists and botanists, will alone satisfy us in
-this age of science, and we demand this accuracy from
-all who pretend to record the aspect of our country. We
-find all these requirements met in the works of the distinguished
-landscape painter of No. 60,072, “View of
-the Great Smelting Works,” in the iron district, lately
-discovered in the North of Scotland. We venture to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_25'>25</span>affirm that none but a thoroughly educated man of
-science could have painted the details of this picture, and
-we cannot bestow higher praise. The “Interior of the
-Factory,” No. 20,621, is also a work deserving of much
-commendation for the minuteness of its detail, which
-must be examined with a strong magnifier to be
-thoroughly enjoyed—the complicated arrangement of the
-machinery escaping the naked eye; also the texture
-of the materials which are being manufactured into
-webs of the most gossamer-like lightness from heaps
-of rough coarse yarns and woollen threads. The faces
-of the operatives are exquisitely rendered, and you
-seem to hear the noise of the wheels and cranks.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>The Sculpture Gallery is perhaps less attractive to the
-general public than are the pictures; still it contains
-some interesting works, and the tailors and milliners
-who were consulted by the art critics as to the details
-of the costumes of the portrait statues, gave their opinion
-that very few errors had been committed this year, thanks
-to the advice tendered by them at sundry lectures delivered
-on the subject last summer. Our statesmen and
-benefactors are no longer represented in dress, or undress,
-in which they were never beheld, but in the exact apparel
-which they actually wore; and future ages will be
-afforded a correct idea not only of their features, but of
-any bodily defects they may have laboured to conceal.
-Thus an archæological and historical interest will attach
-to these effigies, and truth will be upheld. Science has
-done much for this art also. Mechanical means have
-assisted this accuracy of representation—notably in the
-application of metal, which can now be applied to the
-dress, &amp;c., where great elaboration of detail is required, so
-as to admit, for example, of stamping out patterns in lace
-ruffles, and imitating the very texture of the materials,
-while the resemblance to marble is perfect. Especially
-useful is this invention for the application of colour; and
-we defy anyone to detect the difference of substance
-without the closest observation, such as a skilful workman
-alone could bestow. The advantages offered by this
-discovery are obvious in the case of veiled statues, so
-much admired by the British public. (See Nos. 720 to
-1,293.) We cannot bestow too much praise on the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_26'>26</span>exquisite polish of surface and delicacy of the workmanship
-of many of these works, notably in the feathers
-of the bird’s wing in No. 2,320, “A Chinese Scullion
-plucking a Goose.” Compare this with the rude and
-uncouth attempts of the ancient Greeks to idealize the
-naked human form!</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><em>THEATRES.</em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'>At this season in former times, when boys were
-foolishly allowed to leave school for the holidays, the
-theatres (as some of us are old enough to remember)
-were much frequented, and were principally used for a
-silly kind of entertainment called Pantomimes. Of
-the three theatres in London which still continue to
-be devoted to some sort of dramatic performance, and
-have not been transferred into Lecture Halls, one only
-(the <em>Gaiety</em>) seems successful this winter. Crowds
-attend every night to witness “School,” a piece in
-which there is no folly of love-making, but the anxieties
-of a Competitive Examination for Honours in Science
-are finely realised. A tragic interest is imparted to the
-plot by making the hero become insane just as he has
-achieved the object of his ambition. At the <em>Haymarket</em>
-there has been a failure which we fear will result in
-the ruin of the lessee. This enterprising gentleman
-imagined it might be possible to revive in these days an
-interest in some of the old plays once popular in this
-country, and after (it appears) long consultation and deliberation,
-determined to bring the <cite>Merchant of Venice</cite>
-upon the boards. It was hoped that the proposal of one
-of the characters of the piece, named Shylock, to cut a
-pound of flesh from another, and the discussion whether
-this could be done without the effusion of blood, would
-excite the interest of the spectators. Unfortunately, as
-the author of the drama (Shakespeare, we are informed)
-stops short at the very crisis of the physiological experiment,
-and allows the intended subject to escape, the
-audience not unnaturally have exhibited disappointment,
-and the piece has been pronounced a failure.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>At the St. James’s Theatre the manager has likewise
-made a mistake in reviving Moliere’s <cite><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Malade Imaginaire</span></cite>.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_27'>27</span>We see no humour in this, so-called, comedy. Where is
-the point, for example, of the supposed jest of making the
-young medical student, <em>Thomas Diafoirus</em>, present his
-lady-love with a ticket of admission to a dissection? The
-act was a natural and delicate attention.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The next department of the <cite>Age of Science</cite> is
-very short as usual.</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><em>COURT.</em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'>Her Most Gracious Majesty, accompanied by the
-Princess Urania, and attended by Dr. Brown and Dr.
-Robinson, Lords Physicians in Waiting, honoured Dr.
-Scalpel’s studio by a visit, during which Dr. Scalpel
-exhibited to the youthful Princess several beautiful
-preparations of various cutaneous diseases, and of the
-morbid anatomy of Lupus and Elephantiasis.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>Sir R. Atmosphere, Astronomer Royal, Sir A.
-Diggory, Geologist in Ordinary to her Majesty, and the
-eminent Chemist, Herr Von Pestle-Mortar, had the
-honour of dining with the Queen at Windsor Castle
-at 10 <span class='fss'>P.M.</span> The Lord Doctor of Winchester, Her
-Majesty’s Medical Confessor, said the new Grace
-(“May good digestion wait on appetite”) at the commencement
-of the repast, and the Band, with chorus of
-male and female voices, performed at the conclusion the
-Hymn, “Oh, take thy pill,—Oh, take thy pill,—Oh,
-take thy pilgrim home.”</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>In examining the journals of a foreign country,
-the intelligent reader will generally be able to gather
-some insight into the habits of the natives by passing
-his eye down the columns of advertisements and
-noting the class of objects presented for sale. In
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_28'>28</span>the <cite>Age of Science</cite> there are no less than fifty
-the vast pages we have described devoted to announcements
-and puffs of the most astonishing
-variety, including hundreds of articles whose names
-and uses are at present quite unknown. Of advertisements
-of servants and other persons requiring
-employment we have not found a single instance,
-but there were at least twenty columns of invitations
-to “Ladies and Gentlemen” to be so kind as to
-act for the advertiser in the capacity of housekeeper,
-steward, superintendent of the house, or
-some equally well-sounding office, the remuneration
-offered being at the lowest, it would seem, about
-£200 a year, with “the use of a steam carriage,”
-and “every other luxury desired.”</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>We must, however, leave the columns of <span class='sc'>Advertisements</span>
-for future examination, and proceed to
-give an account of the more important <span class='sc'>Law and
-Police Reports</span>, which form, perhaps, the most surprising
-part of the <cite>Age of Science</cite>. It would appear
-that it had become necessary to hold assizes in at
-least twenty towns and villages in every county;
-and that the judges were incessantly occupied
-with cases of robbery, garrotting, arson, rape, stabbing,
-poisoning, and (strange to remark) a number
-of offences with new names, of whose nature we can
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_29'>29</span>merely guess, but which appear to involve mortal
-injury to the victim. The words employed, such as
-“Debarrassing,” “Morbifying,” “Disbraining,”
-“Petroleumization,” “Electroding,” “Mesmeraciding,”
-&amp;c., seem to have become so common as to need
-no definition, and to have taken their place in the
-statute book. For all these crimes the same class
-of penalties are allotted; the convicted persons are
-invariably sentenced by the presiding judge to so
-many weeks’ or months’ detention—not in prison,
-but in the Penal Hospitals of their respective towns
-or villages. The principle on which crime is thus
-visited appears from the addresses of several of the
-magistrates, who remark that the “diseased minds”
-exhibited by the robbers and murderers “obviously
-require careful medical treatment,” and that they
-trust that the eminent Physicians and Surgeons to
-whom the prisoners are consigned will not fail to
-complete their cure. In numerous cases, as the
-offenders have been sentenced many times previously,
-the judge speaks of their crime as exhibiting “an
-intermittent fever” of homicidal rage, or of covetousness.
-Remarks are also always made by the reporters
-as to the “abnormal cerebral development”
-or “morbid symptoms” exhibited by the criminals,
-and the tone assumed in speaking of them (even in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_30'>30</span>cases of what we should term the most cruel and
-brutal murders) is invariably one of scientific study
-and calm philosophic analysis.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>A very different method of treatment, however, is
-adopted towards another class of offenders, whom it
-would appear the authorities in the <cite>Age of Science</cite>
-are determined to put down in grim earnest. That
-our readers may not suppose we mistake the sense of
-the amazing paragraphs in which these new features
-of English legislation appear, we quote them as they
-stand in the <cite>Age of Science</cite>, pp. 63 and 64.</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><em>POLICE.</em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'>At the Mansion House this morning, 79 men and
-140 women were summoned for the non-attendance
-of their boys under two years old at the Public Infants’
-Science Classes in the new Kinder Garten in the Tower.
-Various pleas were, as usual, put forth by the defendants,
-purporting to prove in some cases that the children were
-ill with small-pox and scarlet fever, and in several
-instances that they were dying or dead. Mr. Alderman
-Busby remarked that “if they were to listen to such
-pleas, children would grow up to three or four years
-old without learning even the rudiments of astronomy
-or palæontology.” He ordered all the fathers to be
-publicly flogged, and the mothers to receive each a
-dozen stripes of the birch privately, in the State
-Whipping House, and to stand on benches for three
-days in the nearest Elementary School during school
-hours.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>[Similar judgments are recorded at Westminster,
-Worship Street, Clerkenwell, and several other police-courts
-in London and the provincial towns.]</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><em>MIDDLESEX SESSIONS.</em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'>The Duke and Duchess of Broadacres, the Marquis of
-Carabas, Lady Clara Vere de Vere, and the Lady Adeline
-Amundeville were brought up (in chains) to receive
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_31'>31</span>sentence on the charges (fully proved against them last
-week) of having deceived the Officers of Domestic
-Inspection respecting their own and their children’s
-Canination and Porcination. It was shown that all the
-defendants had been Vaccinated according to law four
-times during the last twelvemonth, and Equinated twice
-during the late prevalence of glanders, but though
-Rabies and the Measles were both known to be raging
-in London, they had not only neglected to present
-themselves and their children at the Canine and Porcine
-Stations in Queen’s Gate, but had deceived the Inspectors
-as above stated by exhibiting the former scars
-for the latter. Being unable to produce any medical
-certificate showing that they had obeyed the law, and
-having been found “guilty” by a special jury (containing,
-of course, the legal proportion—three-fourths—of
-Medical graduates), all five prisoners were sentenced by
-Mr. Justice Draco to the extreme penalty of the law.
-They will be vivisected for the instruction of the students
-at the magnificent new School of Physiology in Carlton
-Gardens, as soon after the opening of the session as may
-be convenient. Some sympathy was expressed in court
-for the Duke of Broadacres, who, being an elderly nobleman
-in feeble health, seems to have feared superstitiously
-the processes (unknown in his youth) of using,
-for the purpose of inoculations, the saliva from mad dogs,
-as a preventive of hydrophobia, on the principle of “a
-hair of the dog which has bitten you.” The expression
-of misplaced public commiseration was instantly checked
-by the learned Judge, and the prisoners were removed,
-exhibiting many signs of trepidation. Lady Clara Vere
-de Vere implored that she might be even Ratified sooner
-than given over to the students, but her request was, of
-course, sternly refused. It is indeed specially fortunate
-that so sensitive a subject as this young and delicate-looking
-lady is likely to prove should fall, in course of
-law, under physiological investigation at the moment
-when the exquisite experiments of Dr. Blacksmith on
-the Nervous System are in course of exposition.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Even these startling announcements, however,
-are less surprising than the following:—</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><em>SANITARY OFFICE.</em></div>
- <div class='c008'>Dec. 25, 1977.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'>The proceedings of this most high and solemn
-Court in the Realm were, as usual, held with
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_32'>32</span>closed doors. There were present five Lord
-Doctors, and sentences were passed, after due deliberation,
-and (it is rumoured) the application of
-the Question, ordinary and extraordinary, on nine
-obstinate heretics. Three of these were members
-of that fanatical sect, the Peculiar People, who
-refuse to consult physicians on the ground of
-religious scruples—an instance of the survival
-of outworn superstitions scarcely credible in this
-enlightened <cite>Age of Science</cite>. One of these miserable
-delinquents, named John Nokes, alleged that
-his twelve children had enjoyed unbroken health
-till his youngest little boy cut his finger. The
-wretched father, instead of hurrying instantly for
-the nearest surgeon, himself dressed the child’s
-wound (which appears to have been superficial) with
-adhesive plaster, and gave the child a fragment
-of toffee to stop his crying, in lieu of the proper
-therapeutic remedies for the shock to the nervous
-system which any medical attendant would have
-exhibited. The crime came fortunately to the
-knowledge of the police, who immediately brought
-the matter before the Sanitary Office. A second
-offender of the same sect, named Styles, had, it
-seems, an attack of Podagra, but took no advice,
-and having rather quickly recovered, was in hopes
-(it is supposed) that his neglect to obey the law
-would pass undiscovered. A crutch seen in his
-room raised the suspicion of a visitor, and the
-offender was eventually arrested. When interrogated
-by the Lord Presiding Doctor of the Sanitary
-Court as to the motives of his crime, the man
-(as his sentence sets forth) actually dared to reply
-by quoting a passage from an obsolete book,
-wherein it is narrated of a certain King, “Now Asa
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_33'>33</span>was diseased in his feet, yet in his disease he
-sought not to the Lord, but to the physicians. And
-Asa slept with his fathers.”<a id='r1' /><a href='#f1' class='c011'><sup>[1]</sup></a> This narrative, as
-Styles had the audacity to argue, was an authentic,
-and, indeed, inspired report of a fit of the gout—its
-diagnosis, treatment, and the result. As he did
-not desire to “sleep with his fathers,” he (Styles)
-had avoided consulting the physicians, and had
-endeavoured to consult the Lord by following the
-dictates of common sense, and the consequence was
-that he had recovered with unusual rapidity. The
-Lord President was moved to great indignation by
-the obduracy of this heretic. He remarked that
-the book which contained such a passage—a
-volume which, he was happy to say, he had, for
-his part, never read—ought to be burnt before the
-doors of the London University; and as to the
-prisoner Styles, it would be useless for him to hope
-to escape sharing in the same combustion.</p>
-
-<div class='footnote' id='f1'>
-<p class='c009'><a href='#r1'>1</a>. 2 Chron. xvi. 12.</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'>After the Peculiar People, two Homœopaths were
-found guilty—one of administering globules to an
-old woman, the other of refusing to join in the
-processions on the 5th of November, when the
-busts of Hahnemann are carried to be calcined.
-The remaining four heretics avowed belief in as
-many different heinous errors. One gave credit
-to <span class='sc'>Michel’s</span> process for the cure of external
-cancer, another thought new-born infants ought
-not to be dosed with castor oil; a third placed confidence
-in bone-setters, and the fourth (a very
-old lady) retained an infatuated preference for
-the remedies which were in vogue a century ago—bromide
-of potassium and chloral—which, of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_34'>34</span>course, have been since peremptorily condemned
-and pronounced highly injurious by the supreme
-authority of the Faculty.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>The aforesaid nine heretics, having been solemnly
-found “guilty,” after due inquisition by
-the High Sanitary Office, were condemned as contumacious
-by the Lord Presiding Doctor, and the
-Most Eminent Doctors Pole, Gardiner, and
-Bonner, and were delivered over last night to the
-Secular Arm. Piles are in process of erection
-in Trafalgar Square. It is announced that Her
-Gracious Majesty Queen Mary III. will preside
-at the execution, which will take place on Sunday
-morning next, after hearing a Lecture on “True
-Medical Belief,” to be delivered by Her Majesty’s
-Medical Confessor in Ordinary, Dr. Torr Quemada,
-under the dome of St. Paul’s.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Such is a brief abstract of these most astounding
-<em>Law and Police Reports</em> in the <cite>Age of Science</cite>. We
-make no comments upon them, except the expression
-of our wonder at the similarity between the office
-and behaviour of a Priest of Religion in the fifteenth
-century and a Priest of Science in the twentieth.
-With complete citations of four out of the twenty-five
-Leading Articles of the <cite>Age of Science</cite>, we must
-conclude this imperfect but thoroughly reliable
-account of the remarkable journal of 1977, whose
-discovery has been the glorious first-fruits of the
-<span class='sc'>Prospective Telegraph</span>.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'><span class='pageno' id='Page_35'>35</span>Since the epoch, now nearly forty years past,
-when <span class='sc'>Smith</span> made his immortal discovery of the
-Army Exterminator, followed up so rapidly by
-<span class='sc'>Jones’</span> invention of the Fleet Annihilator,
-international policy has necessarily undergone a
-great modification. As war has become impossible
-as an <i><span lang="la" xml:lang="la">ultima ratio</span></i> in any case, and the principle of
-Arbitration, on which such hopes were founded, has
-proved ineffective, in consequence of the general
-refusal of the working classes to permit their
-governments to pay the <i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">amendes</span></i> agreed upon
-by the Arbitrators, a permanent state of discord
-between nations seems to have become established.
-The dream of Free Trade having also been exploded,
-following the example of the American Empire,
-at that time a Republic, (prohibitive duties having
-been placed by the different States on their own exports
-and the imports of other countries,) commerce
-is undoubtedly, just now, considerably hampered.
-The immense facilities for travelling which we
-possess, thanks to the æro-magnetic propeller, have
-also their disadvantages, since the abandonment of
-extradition treaties allows the criminals of each
-country to take refuge immediately in the neighbouring
-State, when they happen to entertain any
-serious objection to detention in the Penal Hospitals.
-For all these drawbacks to our progress,
-however, <span class='sc'>Science</span> will no doubt soon provide an
-efficient remedy.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>We are on the high-road, it cannot be doubted,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_36'>36</span>to a period of prosperity and universal longevity
-(after all, the main object of all rational ambition)
-such as the world has not hitherto beheld.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>The foreign news of the hour is somewhat
-unsatisfactory. In consequence of the generally
-lawless condition of the Southern Russian Republics,
-the great corn districts of those regions
-have for some years been falling out of cultivation;
-and no hopes are entertained that we shall be able
-to import any more grain from Odessa, or indeed
-from any quarter of the world. In a similar way,
-the native rulers to whom we restored what was
-formerly called our Indian Empire, and also China
-after its brief occupation, have so far adopted
-American and European ideas as to place for this
-next year such duties on rice and tea as will almost
-prohibit the importation of those articles into the
-English market, while they have positively forbidden
-the introduction of English cotton or iron into
-their respective States. The bad and deceptive
-quality of the goods furnished by our manufacturers
-is the alleged cause of these unfortunate
-regulations. <span class='sc'>Science</span> will, no doubt, ere long
-enable us to supply the deficiencies thus caused
-both in our Commissariat and the income hitherto
-derived from manufacture; but, for the present,
-some anxiety is naturally felt in commercial circles
-regarding these untoward events. Against all
-mishaps, however, we rejoice to set the announcement—which
-will be greeted with universal exultation—that
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_37'>37</span>the researches of the learned Professor
-Coppervale respecting the animalculæ causing the
-Vine Disease, the Silk-worm Disease, and the
-Potato Disease, have resulted in the glorious discovery
-of a method of conveying the infection with
-absolute scientific certainty from a plant or insect
-which has been attacked to another still healthy.
-In this manner the vineyards of Château La Rose
-and of Château Yquem have both been effectively
-inoculated by the processes recommended by the
-English Professor to the French Director of Agriculture;
-and the result is perfectly satisfactory.
-Not a grape on either ground was available during
-the last vintage for wine-making. In the words,
-then, of an illustrious philosopher of last century,
-“From this vantage ground already won we look
-forward with confident hope to the triumph of
-science over all the loss and misery which the
-human race has experienced.” Anyone who has
-eaten a grape infected with the <em>phylloxera</em> according
-to Professor Coppervale’s stupendous discovery,
-will have enjoyed a foretaste of the triumph of
-Science in ages to come.</p>
-
-<hr class='c010' />
-
-<p class='c009'>Considerable excitement prevails just now in
-many of our large towns in consequence of the
-needful, but somewhat troublesome, formalities required
-by law before any trade or handicraft may
-be exercised. Blacksmiths’ apprentices, we are
-told, very generally resent the necessity of passing
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_38'>38</span>their proper examinations in Metallurgy before they
-are qualified to shoe a horse; and the Artificial
-Flower Makers constantly evade attendance at the
-lectures on Botany, given expressly for their
-benefit. The candidates for licenses as Cabdrivers
-have more than once exhibited signs of discontent,
-when rejected on the grounds that they
-failed to answer some of the simplest examination
-questions on the principles of Mechanics applied to
-Traction, and on the correlation of Heat and Motion,
-as discovered by the illustrious author of “Heat as
-a Mode of Motion.” A strike (it is even rumoured)
-is impending among the stonemasons and bricklayers
-and slaters in a certain large city, because
-the Police, at the order of the Magistrates, having
-brought up several members of those trade-unions
-to the Local Examining Board for inquiry, it was
-elicited that none of them had acquired a competent
-knowledge of Geology in general, nor even
-of the formation of the strata of rocks wherewith
-their proper business is concerned.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>These difficulties were to be anticipated in the
-progress of Scientific knowledge among the masses,
-and we earnestly hope that no proposal to relax
-the late very wise legislation will be made in Parliament,
-but rather to reinforce the existing Acts by
-severer penalties upon ignorance and inattention.
-Who can for a moment think, for example, of
-allowing his shirt to be washed by a person who
-knows nothing of the chemistry of soap, blue, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_39'>39</span>starch? or his dinner cooked by a man who
-(however skilled in the mere kitchen art of sending
-up appetising dishes) is totally ignorant of
-how much albumen, salts, and alkalies go to the
-formation of vegetable and animal diet?</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>A kindred subject of unreasonable popular dissatisfaction
-are the Medical Certificates of good
-Health now legally required from men, women, and
-children performing any kind of labour in factories,
-warehouses, shops, fields, ships, or in domestic
-service. Obviously it is impossible to certify the
-health of any individual for more than a few days
-at a time, and the necessity which the recent Act
-enforces of obtaining a fresh certificate (and, of
-course, paying the doctor for it) every week, is felt
-by discontented persons as a burden unfairly
-laid upon them by the State. We regret that the
-process is, in truth, slightly troublesome and expensive
-(the <em>minimum</em> fee for the humbler trades
-is, as our readers are aware, half-a-crown; for
-exercising the higher professions—artists, merchants,
-lawyers, &amp;c.—5<em>s.</em>), but it was recognised so
-long ago as 1876 as a right principle of legislation
-in the case of factory works, and it now forms so
-legitimate a source of regular income to a large
-body of most respectable medical gentlemen, who
-make it their business to grant certificates, that
-we cannot imagine anyone being so ill-advised as
-to suggest the repeal of the law. Of course the
-number of persons thus excluded from the labour
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_40'>40</span>market is very considerable indeed, but we must
-accept such a consequence as inevitable. Since
-cripples were rejected a century ago for the office
-of schoolmasters and schoolmistresses, the practice
-has been constantly followed of placing restrictions
-upon the feeble attempts at industry of
-persons labouring under natural defects and disabilities,
-and the Blind, for example, are no longer
-allowed to compete with the seeing in making mats
-and baskets. For all such wretched people there
-are open the proper asylums, the Hospital for the
-diseased, and the Workhouse for the feeble, the
-maimed, the deaf, and the blind. Charity itself can
-ask no more. The resistance of these unfortunates
-against entering these institutions must be put
-down. The world is, after all, made for the strong—the
-strong in mind, and the strong in body; and
-the notion that it is our business to “bear each
-other’s burdens” belonged altogether to an Unscientific
-age. What if physicians and surgeons
-<em>do</em> try experiments daily on the patients in the
-hospitals, sometimes involving a good deal of pain,
-or loss of limb or life? These people are fed
-and housed, and often extravagantly fattened up on
-the most luxurious food, on the condition of serving
-the cause of Science as subjects of experiments.
-And what, again, if the children in the workhouses
-be given over now and then by the Guardians, at the
-request of the Medical authorities, for vivisection?
-They are nearly always placed under the influence
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_41'>41</span>of anæsthetics, indeed, we may say invariably
-so, unless the object of the experiment would be
-frustrated by their use. Could the humanest of
-our humanitarians ask anything more? The
-rule of <span class='sc'>Science</span> is the most benign, as well as enlightened,
-the world has ever seen.</p>
-
-<hr class='c010' />
-
-<p class='c009'>The sanitary interests of the community are
-now recognized on all hands as the supreme concern
-of the State, as the care of his own health
-and the prolongation of life at all costs are the
-chief ends of each individual man. We therefore
-commence our yearly review by noting in what
-manner the advance of <span class='sc'>Science</span>, (in which lies
-our only hope,) has contributed during the past
-twelvemonth towards this grand object.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>The foremost place of honour is, of course,
-due to the discovery of the eminent Dr. Howlem
-of the scientific way to give Cholera; after which
-we may reckon Dr. Mowlem’s short method of
-conveying the Plague; and last, Dr. Bowlem’s
-most interesting and valuable plan for producing
-Leprosy. These immense discoveries (effected, it
-is needless to remark, by laborious pathological
-experiments on animals and idiots) may well
-make the past year memorable in the annals of
-the Science of Medicine; and though the particular
-specific remedies for the diseases in question
-have not yet been ascertained by the Faculty, we
-can scarcely fail to attain that secondary object
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_42'>42</span>ere long, together with the proper treatment of
-Consumption, Scarlet Fever, and other maladies
-which Science has been able to convey for the last
-hundred years, and <em>must</em> ere long find out how to
-cure.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>Next in importance to actual discovery we are
-inclined to place the new Regulations which Parliament
-has laid down in obedience to the High
-Court of Convocation. The absolute prohibition
-to Women to read or write—even in cases where
-they may have formerly acquired those arts (now
-recognised as so unsuitable to their sex)—will,
-we apprehend, tell importantly on the health of
-infants, and of course eventually on that of the
-community. So long as females indulged in no more
-deleterious practices than dancing in hot rooms
-all night, unclothing their necks and chests, wearing
-thin slippers which exposed their feet to deadly
-chills, and tightening their waists till their ribs were
-crushed inwards, the Medical Profession very properly
-left them to follow their own devices with but
-little public remonstrance. The case was altered,
-however, when, three or four generations ago, a
-considerable movement was made for what was
-then called the Higher Education of women. The
-feeble brains of young females were actually taxed
-to study the now forgotten Greek and Latin
-languages, and even Mathematics and such Natural
-Science as was then understood. The result was
-truly alarming; for these poor creatures flung
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_43'>43</span>themselves with such energy into the pursuits
-opened to them, that, as one of their critics
-remarked, they resembled “the palmer-worm and
-the canker-worm—they devoured every green
-thing”—and not seldom surpassed their masculine
-competitors. At length they began to aim at
-entering the learned Professions—the Legal, and
-even the Medical. Our readers may be inclined
-to doubt the latter fact, which seems to involve
-actual absurdity, but there is evidence that there
-once existed two or three Lady Doctors in
-London, who, like Pope Joan in Rome, foisted
-themselves surreptitiously into an exalted position
-from which Nature should have debarred them.
-Of course it was the solemn duty of the Medical
-Profession to put a stop at once to an error which
-might lead to such a catastrophe, and numerous
-books were immediately written proving (what
-we all now acknowledge) that the culture of the
-brains of women is highly detrimental to their
-proper functions in the community; and, in short,
-that the more ignorant a woman may be, the more
-delightful she is as a wife, and the better qualified
-to fulfil the duties of a mother.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>Since <span class='sc'>Science</span> has thoroughly gained the upper
-hand over Religious and other prejudices, the
-position of women, we are happy to say, has been
-steadily sinking, and the dream of a Higher
-Education has been replaced by the abolition of
-even Elementary Schools for girls, and now by
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_44'>44</span>the final Act of last Session, which renders it penal
-for any woman to read a hook or newspaper, or to
-write a letter. We anticipate the very happiest
-results from this thoroughly sound and manly
-legislation.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>The last sanitary event to which we need at
-present advert is the new law by which, on the
-certificate of any single Medical Graduate that a
-person is Insane, the police will be called on
-immediately to arrest and consign him to such
-mad-house as the Medical graduate shall appoint.
-The magistrate by whose order the arrest is made
-is left no option as to obeying the Medical graduate’s
-certificate, and we are glad also to see
-that, by another clause in the Act, the only
-remaining difficulty connected with these Asylums
-has been removed. None but a Medical graduate,
-responsible only to the great Medical Trades
-Union Council, is henceforth eligible to the office
-of Inspector of any Lunatic Asylum throughout the
-kingdom, nor can any Justice of the Peace grant
-an order for admittance or search, except to such
-a graduate. These wise and reasonable regulations
-will afford much satisfaction to the Medical
-gentlemen who have undertaken the arduous but
-not unprofitable profession of managers and proprietors
-of Lunatic Asylums.</p>
-
-<hr class='c010' />
-
-<p class='c009'>Our prognostics of last New Year’s Day have
-been amply justified by the Summary of Crime for
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_45'>45</span>the past twelvemonth, which has just been published,
-according to the excellent recent appointment of
-the Registrar General of Offences. Crimes of the
-lesser class, such as murders, poisonings, electroding
-and exploding, have indeed increased considerably
-in number, and perhaps also in the degree of
-recklessness and violence exhibited by the offenders;
-but on the other hand, as we prophesied, those
-crimes which involve so much larger evils to
-the community—the detestable Homœopathic and
-Hydropathic heresies, Infidelity respecting the
-sacred doctrine of Evolution, neglect of Schooling,
-and neglect of Equination, Vaccination, Canination,
-and Porcination, have dwindled under the
-severe measures of punishment which we urged
-for so long on a too lax legislature, but which have
-at last been thoroughly enforced. We may really
-hope to see a few years hence the Reign of <span class='sc'>Science</span>
-so complete that no man, woman, or child in the
-land will presume to whisper a doubt on any subject
-on which the Sanitary Office has pronounced,
-or attempt to evade the seasons appointed by
-authority for receiving the Rites above mentioned.
-The Act passed at the end of the last century,
-whereby certificates of Vaccination were substituted
-for all legal purposes for Baptismal certificates,
-was the first step towards the happy order of things
-under which we now have the privilege to dwell.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>Lest our readers should feel a not wholly unnatural
-anxiety, founded on the admitted increase
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_46'>46</span>of the lesser crimes to which we have adverted,
-we wish to remind them that such an occurrence
-was inevitable on the final collapse of
-Religion, and that we must be content to wait
-till Science shall have had time to substitute
-some more effectual checks on human passions
-than it has yet been in our power to apply.
-It is too obvious to need remark that since
-men have learned that Death is the end of
-their existence, they must be expected to seize more
-hastily and resolutely every pleasure which life
-may offer, nay, that it would be absurd and unscientific
-to expect them to do otherwise. Let us
-do justice to the old effete superstition, and admit
-that the delusive notion that an invisible Being
-watched human actions, loved good men, and would
-punish bad ones in another world, if not in the
-present, was calculated to exercise considerable
-influence of a beneficial sort on ordinary minds.
-Certain types of character (not now, of course, to
-be found in the world) seem to have flourished
-under the fictitious charm of these antique ideas—characters
-exhibiting a certain courage and unselfishness,
-of which it is scarcely possible to read
-without some little regret that they are not conformable
-with sounder philosophic views of the
-nature and destiny of man. People had, we must
-remember, in former days, four distinct motives for
-doing good instead of evil. First, they believed in
-an omnipotent Lord and Master whom they called
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_47'>47</span>“God.” 2nd, they believed in a sacred internal
-Guide whom they called Conscience; and 3rd, they
-believed in a peculiar principle of action which they
-called Honour. After all these came the Criminal
-Law, ready to punish those who neglected what
-were deemed to be loftier motives. Now we, in
-this glorious <cite>Age of Science</cite>, must remember that
-of all these four incentives to virtue only one
-remains. We know there is no God, or, at least,
-that, if there be, he is Unknown and Unknowable;
-and we are persuaded that Conscience is merely
-the inherited prejudice of our barbarous ancestors
-in favour of the class of actions which were found
-conducive to the welfare of the tribe. As to the
-Law of Honour, men had already begun to forget
-what it signified a hundred years ago, when the
-Age of <span class='sc'>Science</span> was just dawning, for we find
-at that epoch a writer of considerable pretensions,
-in a periodical called the <cite>Fortnightly Review</cite>,
-actually asserting that its standard “is submission
-not to Law but to Opinion&nbsp;... deference to
-the opinion of a particular class.” Up to that
-period we think it was universally understood by
-“honourable” persons to signify, quite on the
-contrary, Reverence for an inward standard of
-rectitude, truth, and generosity; for a man’s own
-private sense of Honour and self-respect, which
-he would not forfeit to gain the applause of a
-world. In our time, of course, it is needless to
-say that all these fine ideal sentiments have gone
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_48'>48</span>utterly out of vogue, and, having left them behind
-us, we have only the Criminal Law on which
-to rely for the protection of life and property.
-It is needless to repeat that the delusive
-exhortations of some amiable but short-sighted
-philosophers of the last century to “labour for the
-good of Humanity in future generations” (a motive
-which they supposed would prove a substitute for
-the old Historic Religions) have been once and for
-all answered by the grand discovery of the Astronomers
-that our planet cannot long remain the
-habitation of man (even if it escape any sidereal
-explosion) since the Solar heat is undergoing such
-rapid exhaustion. When the day comes—as come
-it must—when the fruits of the earth perish one by
-one, when the dead and silent woods petrify, and all
-the races of animals become extinct—when the icy
-seas flow no longer, and the pallid Sun shines dimly
-over the frozen world, locked like the Moon in
-eternal frost and lifelessness—what, in that day
-predicted so surely by Science, will avail all the
-works, and hopes, and martyrdoms of man? All
-the stores of knowledge which we shall have
-accumulated will be for ever lost. Our discoveries,
-whereby we have become the lords of creation and
-wielded the great forces of Nature, will be useless
-and forgotten. The virtues which have been
-perfected, the genius which has glorified, the love
-which has blessed the human race, will all perish
-along with it. Our libraries of books, our galleries
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_49'>49</span>of pictures, our fleets, our railroads, our
-vast and busy cities, will be desolate and useless
-for evermore. No intelligent eye will ever behold
-them; and no mind in the universe will know or
-remember that there ever existed such a being as
-Man. <em>This</em> is what <span class='sc'>Science</span> teaches us unerringly
-to expect,—and in view of it, who shall talk to us
-of “labouring for the sake of Humanity”? The
-enthusiasm which could work disinterestedly for a
-Progress destined inevitably to end in an eternal
-Glacial Period must be recognised as a dream,
-wherein no man in a Scientific Age can long
-indulge.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>There is, then, but one Method on which we
-can rely to repress human passions and hold together
-the somewhat brittle chain of Society. That
-method is the Scientific Treatment of Crime,
-under such conditions as careful investigation and
-experiments may prove to be best suited to effect
-its cure. We can hold out no supersensual motives
-to the <em>Minds</em> of the multitude, but we can treat
-their <em>Bodies</em> in the very best manner possible to
-render them virtuous and industrious citizens. It
-is true that as yet the results of our efforts in this
-direction have not been very satisfactory. The
-salutary processes employed in the Penal Hospitals
-under the most eminent physicians have not been
-altogether crowned with success; and crime of
-the violent kind increases year by year almost
-in geometrical proportion. Nevertheless, it would
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_50'>50</span>ill become any of us who have the privilege to
-live in this enlightened age to entertain a shadow
-of a doubt that our Scientific method is the right
-one, and that by-and-by (while we respectfully
-wait the results of their experiments) our great
-Medical men will discover the proper remedies for
-murder, rape, and robbery. For our own part, it
-is superfluous to assure our readers, we retain
-unwavering, unbounded faith in the resources of
-<span class='sc'>Science</span> to provide a perfect substitute for Religion,
-for Conscience, and for Honour.</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='small'>J. OGDEN AND CO., PRINTERS, 172, ST. JOHN STREET, E.C.</span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c008' />
-</div>
-<div class='tnotes'>
-
-<div class='section ph2'>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c003'>
- <div>TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
- <ol class='ol_1 c002'>
- <li>Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling.
-
- </li>
- <li>Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed.
- </li>
- </ol>
-
-</div>
-
-<pre style='margin-top:6em'>
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