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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The age of science, by Merlin Nostradamus
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this ebook.
-
-Title: The age of science
-
-Subtitle: A newspaper of the twentieth century
-
-Author: Merlin Nostradamus
-
-Release Date: October 31, 2020 [EBook #63581]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading
- Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from
- images made available by the HathiTrust Digital Library.)
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AGE OF SCIENCE ***
-
-
-
-
- THE AGE OF SCIENCE.
- _A NEWSPAPER OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY._
-
-
- BY
- MERLIN NOSTRADAMUS.
-
- “Forerun thy time, thy peers, and let
- Thy feet, milleniums hence, be set
- In midst of knowledge dreamed not yet:
-
- · · · · ·
-
- Thou hast not gained a real height,
- Nor art thou nearer to the light.”
- _Two Voices._
-
-[Illustration]
-
- _LONDON_:
- WARD, LOCK, AND TYLER,
- WARWICK HOUSE, PATERNOSTER ROW.
-
-
-
-
- LONDON:
- PRINTED BY J. OGDEN AND CO.,
- 172, ST. JOHN STREET, E.C.
-
-
-
-
- THE AGE OF SCIENCE
-
-
-The greatest discovery ever achieved by man is beyond all question that
-which it is now our privilege to announce, namely, that of the new
-PROSPECTIVE TELEGRAPH. By this truly wonderful invention (exquisitely
-simple in its machinery, yet of surpassing power) the obstacle of _Time_
-is as effectually conquered as that of _Space_ has been for the last
-generation by the Electric Telegraph; and future years—even, it is
-anticipated, future centuries—will be made to respond to our call as
-promptly and completely as do now the uttermost parts of the earth
-wherewith the magic wire has placed us in communication.
-
-For obvious reasons the particulars of this most marvellous invention,
-and the name of its author, must be withheld from the public till the
-patents be made out, and the enormous profits which must accrue from its
-application be secured to the Company which is invited to undertake to
-work it (with limited liability). We are only permitted by special
-favour to hint that the natural Force relied on to set the machinery in
-action is neither Electric, Magnetic, nor Galvanic; nor yet any
-combination of these; but that other great correlated imponderable
-agency, whose existence has been for some time suspected by many
-intelligent inquirers, called the _Psychic Force_, whose laws of action
-it has been reserved for this new and greater WHEATSTONE to develop and
-apply to practical utility. That no scepticism may linger in the minds
-of our readers, we desire to add that we have been gratified by the
-actual inspection of several short fragments forestalled by this
-invaluable process from the press of the next fifty, eighty, and one
-hundred and thirty years respectively; and have at this moment in our
-hands a complete transcript (the most important document of the series)
-of a newspaper bearing date January 1st, 1977, photographed in a very
-beautiful manner by the machine upon an enormous sheet of paper, which
-was found needful to contain the type in the most compressed form. As
-the printed matter of this gigantic periodical equals at least in bulk
-the whole of Gibbon’s History, or Mr. Jowett’s edition of Plato, we
-cannot attempt to do more than offer our readers a few brief extracts,
-serving, however, we trust, as not inadequate samples of the literary
-treasures which are shortly to be revealed to our curiosity, and
-satisfying even the most incredulous that the invention of which we
-speak has been crowned with triumphant success. We have only to add that
-the great originator of this discovery entertains hopes that, by an
-ingenious _inversion_ of the action of his machine, he may be able to
-convert it, when required, into a RETROSPECTIVE TELEGRAPH, bringing back
-the Past, as it already antedates the Future, and restoring to us all
-the records of antiquity whose loss we have deplored, as, for example,
-the Odes of Sappho, the missing Books of Livy, the Prometheus Unbound of
-Æschylus, and the original MSS. of the Vedas, the Zend Avesta, and the
-Pentateuch. The final completion of this latter discovery, however, is
-scarcely perfected, and we shall not therefore pause to describe its
-probable value, but proceed without further delay to put our readers in
-possession of all the details for which we can find space concerning the
-Newspaper of 1977, which has been very sagaciously selected by the
-inventor as the first fruits of the working of his Prospective Machine.
-
-The name of this journal (which, we conclude, may be considered as the
-_Times_ of the twentieth century) is
-
- THE AGE OF SCIENCE,
-
-and obviously refers with pride to the consciousness of its readers that
-they live in a period of the world’s history when Science reigns supreme
-over human affairs, having achieved unimaginable triumphs, and
-altogether superseded most of the pursuits of mankind in ruder ages,
-such as War, the Chase, Literature, Art, and Religion. This appropriate
-title is printed, we may remark, in the largest and clearest possible
-Roman type, instead of in the Old English character now commonly used
-for a similar purpose. No fount, indeed, which we have ever seen
-employed, save in a few old Italian folio _éditions de luxe_, has type
-so large and legible as that in which the whole newspaper is printed,
-the greatest care apparently being taken to spare the eyes—or perhaps we
-should say the spectacles—of the readers, since, judging from the
-opticians’ advertisements of “Spectacles for Infants,” “Spectacles for
-Elementary Schools by the gross,” and “Cautions to Mothers” against
-allowing babies to use their eyes, it would appear that unassisted
-vision had become rare, if not unknown. There are ten columns on each
-page, each ten times as long as it is broad, and there are a hundred
-pages in the journal, proving that the decimal system has been
-thoroughly adopted even in such details. Spread out open, the _Age of
-Science_ would cover the floor of a very large hall, and we apprehend
-from certain marks that a convenient method of suspending it on pulleys
-from the ceiling, must have superseded our clumsy practice of holding
-our papers with extended arms.
-
-Proceeding to peruse the intensely interesting contents of the _Age of
-Science_, we first note that it is written in English differing from our
-own chiefly by the use of a strange and, to our eyes, barbarous
-orthography, (intended, we presume, to facilitate elementary education,)
-and by the introduction of a vast number of technical terms of the class
-we reserve for scientific treatises, but which are apparently brought
-into use in everyday parlance. The familiarity of the contributors with
-all gases, fluids, and substances of chemistry, all the bones of all the
-beasts, birds, and fishes which live, or ever did live, on this planet,
-and all the diseases incidental to humanity, speaks volumes for the
-superiority of their scientific education over our own. At the same
-time, on two or three occasions when illustrations have been chosen from
-past History or Poetry, the writers betray that their studies have not
-been much extended in the direction of Literature. One gentleman thinks
-that Mr. GLADSTONE wrote the Iliad on hints afforded by Dr. Schliemann,
-and that MILTON was the author of the Book of Genesis. Another refers to
-the period when Rome was founded by ROMEO and JULIET, while a third
-mentions the “once celebrated _Divina Commedia_ by MOLIERE,” and regrets
-that “so curious a specimen of archaic Japanese art as Titian’s
-‘Assumption’ should not have been spared from the pile in which the
-‘Transfiguration’ of _Phidias_ and the ‘Last Supper’ of _Praxiteles_
-were so judiciously destroyed by order of the Committee of the Royal
-Academy, to put a stop to the propagation of bad æsthetic taste.” For
-the intelligence of our readers we shall be compelled to translate the
-singular phraseology of the _Age of Science_ as nearly as possible into
-familiar English, and our present spelling; and shall only quote a few
-of the Leading Articles, touching on specially interesting topics, out
-of the twenty-five which the vast newspaper publishes as its daily
-contribution.
-
-The arrangement of the _Age of Science_ is a little different from and
-more logical than that of our journals. The first page is rationally
-devoted to TELEGRAPHIC INTELLIGENCE, which everyone may be supposed to
-desire first to read. Instead of political news, however, or records of
-battles, deaths of eminent personages, floods, storms, or fires, these
-telegrams consist exclusively of minute verbatim reports of the
-proceedings of above ninety Scientific Congresses, which seem to be
-taking place at the same time in Europe, Asia, America, Australia, and
-even in one instance (a Geographical Meeting) in Africa, on the shore of
-Lake Albert Nyanza. The various sections of the British Association have
-been obviously long broken up, and again divided and subdivided till
-separate congresses have been found desirable for each department.
-
-It would occupy more space than the whole of this volume to offer even
-the briefest condensation of these Reports, as the discussions and
-papers of the learned members of the different congresses are carried on
-chiefly in terms quite unintelligible to us, and refer to scientific
-disputes to which we do not possess a clue. We must pass over these
-columns of the _Age of Science_, and proceed to the next department,
-which is a Report of the ASSEMBLY OF CONVOCATION—a topic which we were
-surprised to find possessed such prominent interest, till we discovered
-that the Convocation of 1977 will consist exclusively of Medical men.
-The Upper House seems to be formed of Physicians and Surgeons who have
-obtained titles of Nobility, and take rank according to the dioceses
-over which they exercise medical supervision, and the Lower House to be
-a representative body elected by medical graduates throughout the
-kingdom.
-
-The meetings for the Province of Canterbury take place respectively in
-Henry the Seventh’s Chapel, and in the nave of Westminster Abbey;
-Jerusalem Chamber and the Board Room of the Bounty Office having
-probably proved inconveniently small, and the whole Abbey (as we learn
-accidentally from a paragraph in another part of the paper) having been
-“set aside, since the Dissolution of the Churches, for the use of the
-Medical Profession, and for anatomical and physiological lectures and
-craniological researches, for which latter purpose the vaults beneath
-offer peculiarly interesting specimens.”
-
-The Report runs as follows:—
-
-
- _PROVINCE OF CANTERBURY._
-
- UPPER HOUSE.
-
- SESSION CCXLI.—Monday, January 1st, 1977.
-
- The House assembled at eleven o’clock in Henry VII.’s Chapel, pursuant
- to the order of prorogation. His Grace the Lord Archphysician of
- Canterbury presided. There were also present the Right Rev. Lord
- Doctors of Winchester, London, Oxford, Ely, Salisbury, Exeter,
- Lincoln, and Peterborough. After the presentation of sixty-four
- Petitions, a Report was received from the Venerable Congregation of
- the Index, which was approved and ordered to lie on the table. Among
- the works whose perusal will henceforth be prohibited to the laity
- will be found all Medical Guides and Treatises on Domestic Medicine,
- Household Surgery, and the like, which have pretended to direct the
- multitude how to cure or prevent disease without the aid of a
- physician. As the Lord Doctor of Lincoln judiciously observed, “the
- heresy involved was precisely analogous to that of the old religious
- sect of Protestants, who taught the ignorant laity that they might
- save their souls without applying to a priest. Doctors,” his lordship
- added, “were the appointed Ministers of the Body, and the man who
- imagined his health could be saved without them would find out his
- error when it was too late.”
-
-
- LOWER HOUSE.
-
- The Doctors, Archdoctors, and Pro-Apothecaries constituting the Lower
- House of Convocation assembled in the Nave of Westminster Abbey at 11
- o’clock. The Very Eminent Cyrup Camomile, M.D., Archdoctor of
- Cheltenham, Prolocutor, presided.
-
- The Prolocutor having bowed to the busts of Hippocrates, Galen, and
- Harvey (a ceremony which has been substituted for the old form of
- prayers), præconization was taken by the actuary of the names of
- members; assessors were appointed, and a multitude of petitions
- presented. The Schedules of Gravamina and Reformanda were then called
- for. Among the former the most important (which was sent up at once to
- the Upper House as an _Articulus Medici_) was the gravamen of the
- Archapothecary of Sarum, which set forth that, contrary the interests
- of the profession and ordinary usage, a Coroner had been recently
- elected for the county of Dorset who was not a Medical Man. Another
- gravamen referred to the inadequacy of the fees to be legally claimed
- by Doctors for granting Certificates of Birth, Vaccination,
- Equination, Porcination, Sanitary Fitness for Factory or other
- labours, Fitness for Marriage, and, finally, the most important
- Certificates of having died under due Medical care and supervision,
- and being consequently admissible for Cremation.
-
- Members were then called upon to give notice of motions, and
- discussions followed on those of Sir William Puffin—
-
- That Convocation should remonstrate with Her Majesty’s Ministers for
- the laxity wherewith the laws relating to Medical Heretics are
- enforced.
-
- Of Sir Andrew Scrivener—
-
- That Convocation should desire Her Majesty’s Secretary of State for
- Home Affairs to introduce immediately into Parliament a Bill
- prohibiting Dinner Parties, exceeding seven persons in number, to be
- held without the presence of a qualified Physician or Surgeon.
-
- Of Dr. Aqua Fortis—
-
- That a Bill should be likewise required, compelling Railway and
- Steamboat Companies to employ, at suitable salaries, a staff of
- properly qualified Surgeons, one of whom at least should travel by
- every train and on every steamboat.
-
- And of Dr. Scurvydrop—
-
- That a Deputation from Convocation should wait on the Lords of the
- Admiralty to remonstrate on the subordinate position allotted to
- Surgeons on board Her Majesty’s Ships, and to demand that the Medical
- Officer should at all times (except when the immediate conduct of the
- ship is in question) takes precedence of the Captain as Commander.
-
- A similar motion was made by Dr. Turniquet for a deputation to the
- Horse Guards on behalf of the Army Surgeons, and was, like all the
- preceding motions, adopted unanimously.
-
-The Report concludes with the observation—
-
- As Parliament does not meet for another week, there must be a delay of
- a few days before the recommendations of Convocation are carried into
- effect, but it is unnecessary to remark that they will be adopted
- unchallenged by the Legislature. Since the solemn Protest, carried by
- the 50,000 doctors, who marched down Whitehall in procession, “against
- the Interference of the Secular Power in Things Medical,” no Minister
- of the Crown, much less any private member, has attempted to move an
- Amendment to any of the numerous Bills presented by the profession.
-
-After the Report of Convocation, the _Age of Science_ contains one
-column of STOCKS AND SHARES, not possessing any special interest for
-readers of the present day, but appearing to prove, strangely enough,
-that investments are much fewer than in our time, and cannot be made in
-any Foreign securities. After these, in lieu both of NAVAL AND MILITARY
-INTELLIGENCE, and of the CHURCH, five columns are devoted to MEDICAL
-APPOINTMENTS AND PROMOTIONS, and to a considerable correspondence on the
-proposed endowment of two new Physicianships (with seats in the House of
-Lords) at St. Albans and Truro. After all these we find twenty columns
-devoted to LATEST INTELLIGENCE, in short paragraphs, of which we cull a
-few of the most interesting.
-
-
- _OCCASIONAL NOTES._
-
- The magnificent Joss House now in process of erection by the Chinese
- of London forms a striking ornament to Regent Street, standing as it
- does on the site of the old deserted Langham Chapel. It will, we
- imagine, be the only place dedicated to religious purposes which has
- been built during the last twenty years in the metropolis, and almost
- the only one in actual use. Although we cannot, of course, ourselves,
- as a Scientific nation, formally join in the worship of Buddha, we
- must all regard with sympathy and satisfaction the honours paid to
- that great Teacher by the very important section of our community, the
- Chinese day labourers and domestic servants, of whom it is said more
- than half a million have contributed to the erection and adornment of
- this Temple. Considering the impossibility of inducing Englishmen to
- undertake in these days the lower kinds of work, we should come
- altogether to a standstill were it not for the tens of thousands of
- industrious Chinese who have replenished our labour market. The statue
- of Buddha is a noble work of modern sculpture by Mr. Merino. The
- traditional pose of the crossed legs is slightly altered to bring them
- within the rules of scientific anatomy, and the Sage is obviously
- pondering those profound lessons of Pessimism (that it is a bad world
- we live in, and that we need not expect a better) which have justly
- secured for him the reverence of cultivated Europe.
-
- * * * * *
-
- An accident of the ordinary sort occurred last night to the new
- Magnetic train, which was at the moment passing under the Channel,
- about 10 miles from Dover. From messages sent by the portable electric
- machine along the wires the moment before the catastrophe took place,
- it would appear that the engineers have been again at fault in the
- construction of the roof of the tunnel, and that the sea was rushing
- in with such violence that little hopes were entertained of bringing
- the train to the next watertight compartment. The result justified
- these fears, for the whole compartment of the tunnel in which the
- train was stopped is to-day entirely full of water, and it must be
- assumed that the unfortunate passengers—numbering, it is supposed,
- about 800—have been drowned like so many rats in a trap. The accident
- is unfortunate for the proprietors of Submarine Tunnel Stock, and also
- for several Insurance Companies, as extensive repairs will be
- required; but Science teaches us to regard these occurrences with
- composure, as serving to check the increase of a superabundant
- population.
-
- * * * * *
-
- The Simian Educational Institute (on Frobel’s system), for members of
- the Ape family, continues to attract the strongest interest. In
- testing the educability of the Simian tribe we are solving one of the
- most important problems of Science, and hitherto everything seems to
- promise the triumphant success of the experiment. There are now among
- the pupils at the Institute three Chimpanzees, whose grandfathers and
- grandmothers have all been well-educated monkeys; so that the set of
- the brain of these young people is already marked towards progress and
- civilization. It is needless to observe that all the students are
- required to wash and dress themselves every morning in the becoming
- male and female habiliments provided by the taste of the Governors of
- the Institute. Great pains are also taken with their manners at meal
- times, and, to avoid temptation, nuts are not admitted at dessert. One
- of the young gentlemen (Joseph Macacus Silenus, Esq., generally known
- by his intimates as “Joe”) is said to exhibit extraordinary talents,
- and to be able to answer any question in elementary science by means
- of an alphabet and a system of knocks, which (in view of the yet
- unconquerable speechlessness of monkeys) has been accepted as the best
- substitute for language, having been formerly invented by an ingenious
- race of impostors named Mediums, who flourished in the obscurity of
- the Victorian age. The plan adopted in France, in deference to the
- advice of the great French naturalist, M. Houzeau, to employ the
- anthropoid apes as domestic servants, has proved, we are informed,
- altogether successful in several families. Madame Le Singe, a fine
- specimen of the Gorilla tribe, has acted for some months as
- confidential Nurse in the family of a distinguished Member of the
- Institute (M. Gobemouche), and is said to maintain discipline among
- her charges excellently well. It is an instructive spectacle to see
- Madame Le Singe walking on a fine day with the children, and pushing a
- perambulator in the Gardens of the Tuileries. The more ordinary
- employment found, however, for domestic Apes is that of cooks, when it
- is observed they occasionally call in the services of the household
- cat to assist them as kitchenmaid, especially when roast chestnuts
- form part of the entertainment.
-
- * * * * *
-
- The cheerful ceremony of opening the new “Incineration Hall” was
- performed an hour ago in Manchester by the Lord Doctor of Manchester,
- attended by the Mayor. It is a magnificent building, with a furnace
- capable of reducing 12 bodies at a time to ashes, which, after a
- certain period, will be used in the manufacture of water-filters for
- the drinking-fountains of the town. It is specially fortunate that the
- Hall can be employed at once, since the number of persons despatched
- by Euthanasia has been so great during the past week all over the
- country that the other Cremation establishments have proved inadequate
- to dispose of the corpses with sufficient rapidity.
-
- * * * * *
-
- An important addition has been made to that instructive place of
- public amusement, the Zoological Gardens in Regent’s Park. The ground
- formerly occupied by a great Dissenting College (long in ruins) has
- been devoted to a department destined to contain those species of
- animals which are rapidly dying out in Europe, and which, if not thus
- carefully preserved, must soon be lost altogether to Zoological
- science. Among these are the Ass, the Fox, the Dog, the Hare, the
- Pheasant, and Partridge. In this age of Science it is, of course,
- impossible to go on employing a creature like the Donkey, proverbial
- for its intellectual deficiency, and we have no regret that only two
- pair of animals of the species (both in the Regent’s Park collection)
- now survive in England, though a few are said to linger in Egypt.
- Connected with the dog (_Canis Familiaris_) there are so many
- traditional records of sagacity, having a certain scientific interest
- in connection with the form and size of its brain, that we should have
- been glad if a more complete collection of the varieties could have
- been preserved. The Foxhound, however, the Greyhound, Setter, and
- Pointer, seem all to have become extinct within about thirty years of
- the repeal of the Game Laws and the consequent cessation of held
- sports; and several of the more favoured kinds of dogs—Italian
- Greyhounds, Toy Terriers, Pomeranians, and Poodles—were, it is said,
- privately destroyed by hundreds by their owners, who disgracefully
- sought to withdraw them from the researches of physiologists. The
- remaining kinds have been perhaps rather recklessly used by
- vivisectors, whose ardour in the noble cause of science has caused
- them to experiment, on an average, on about 14,000 dogs apiece (an
- example originally set by the sainted Maurizio Schiff), and the result
- has been that we only find at present twelve animals surviving, of
- whom nine belong to the class Mongrel. One noble old Newfoundland, who
- would have greatly graced the collection, was, it is said, drowned by
- his owner last year under interesting circumstances. The dog was much
- devoted to his master (a celebrated physiologist), and especially to
- his boy, a child of six years old. One day the little fellow fell out
- of a boat, and sank for the last time, when the dog arrived, and with
- immense difficulty (the water being very deep and stormy) dived for
- him and brought him safe to shore. The animal itself was so nearly
- exhausted that its stertorous breathing and other symptoms suggested
- to the physiologist the scientific interest which would attach to
- watching it slowly drowning in a suitable vessel, where all the
- conditions of that death could be accurately investigated on so large
- a scale as that of a full sized dog. The learned gentleman
- accordingly, in obedience to these fine and fleeting suggestions of
- the intellect, drowned the animal in a tub in his physiological
- laboratory as soon as his son was sufficiently recovered to witness
- the instructive and entertaining spectacle. The dog, when withdrawn
- half dead for a moment from the water, having attempted to lick the
- boy’s face, the child was weak enough to implore his father to spare
- it; but the learned gentleman of course pointed out to the boy the
- folly of such a request, and the experiment was completed. We trust to
- see this young gentleman hereafter as sound and eminent a physiologist
- as his distinguished father.
-
-After some five columns more of similar _Intelligence_, the _Age of
-Science_ proceeds to give its readers a few Reviews of Books. The
-brevity of the remarks vouchsafed to these productions seems to indicate
-that no great importance is attached to Literature properly so called,
-but only to treatises on Physical Science.
-
-The Notices run as follow:—
-
-
- _REVIEWS._
-
- We do not usually in the _Age of Science_ intrude on the province of
- the sixteen leading daily Scientific Newspapers devoted to critical
- notices of the books which pour from the press on Electrology,
- Physiology, Astronomy, Geology, &c. We are tempted to depart from our
- rule, however, so far as to offer our meed of applause and
- congratulation on the publication of the last of the six splendid
- volumes forming the magnificent monograph on CHEESE-MITES, and the
- still more costly and exhaustive treatise on the great mystery of the
- FORMATION OF DUST IN DISUSED APARTMENTS. THE ANALYSIS OF THE DUST BIN,
- which constitutes Book VIII. of this noble work, is a triumph of
- scientific investigation and (to employ an obviously appropriate term)
- of industry. In the inferior non-scientific walks of Literature we
- find that no Histories have been published during the last
- twelvemonth, and only one _Historical Essay_, namely:—
-
- _The Fall of the Church of England._ By the late (and last) Dean of
- Westminster. The author of this book composed it, we are informed,
- during his retirement in the Isle of Anglesea, whither, like most of
- the clergy, and the Druids in former ages, he retreated after the
- great victory gained by Science, when the Cathedrals and Churches were
- made over by Parliament to the Medical Profession. The Dean traces the
- fall of the Anglican Establishment to the disrepute into which it had
- sunk in consequence of the folly of a party in the Church, who, in an
- age of doubt and transition, when religion needed to be presented in
- its most spiritual shape, made it appear by their practices a matter
- of rites and forms altogether childish. It is quite possible that
- these idle doings may have contributed to make sensible men impatient
- and contemptuous, but we are persuaded that the abolition of the
- Churches was due to a deeper and more widespread cause, namely, the
- growth of that sound philosophy which recognises Matter as containing
- itself the germ and potency of every form of life, and, of course,
- dismisses the dream of a Soul in man, which might enjoy existence
- after death. As soon as this great truth had had time to penetrate the
- minds of the masses, the collapse of Religion obviously became
- imminent. The sole attention and hopes of all classes have since been
- confined to the preservation of health and the extension of life to
- the utmost term of old age. That we have _bodies_, nobody can for a
- moment question, and we properly recognise as our guides and masters
- the Doctors who remedy their diseases. We have satisfied ourselves
- that we have no _Souls_, and it would be truly absurd to expect of us
- to maintain an order of clergy to undertake their “cure.” The
- endowments originally devoted to the latter profession have been
- naturally and fitly transferred to the former.
-
-
- _POETRY._
-
- _The Loves of the Triangles._ Reprinted from the _Anti-Jacobin_. We
- rejoice to see the merits of this Poem recognised at last, and the
- stupid idea of some dull critics that it was intended as a travesty
- exploded in this graver age. With the exception of the _De Rerum
- Natura_ of Lucretius, and of Darwin’s _Botanic Garden_, it is almost
- the only poem bequeathed to us by the past worthy of retaining a place
- in our libraries.
-
- _The Gout, and other Poems._ By the Poet Laureate. We warmly commend
- this beautiful and affecting volume, especially to our youthful
- readers. The accuracy wherewith the peculiarly poignant pangs of
- Arthritis are delineated is beyond praise. We should, however,
- recommend the omission of the episode of the patient’s marriage to his
- shampooer. It is a tribute to that false taste which requires Poetry
- to deal with Romance instead of with the facts of Science.
-
-
- _FICTION._
-
- _The Precession of the Equinox, and other Tales._ By Wilkinson
- Collinson, Esq. This is a highly sensational story, and will sell like
- wildfire at the bookstalls. The interest of the plot turns on the
- phenomenon in question, but embraces subsidiary problems respecting
- the sun’s path through the Zodiac.
-
- _Daniel Allround._ By George Evans. The chief attraction of this book
- lies in the abstruse technical terminology which the author has
- employed to illustrate profound observations of men and things. From
- this point of view the work has a certain scientific value, but too
- much space is lost by delineations of characters without tracing them
- to the laws of Heredity.
-
- _Edwin and Angelina._ By J. Fitzparnell. Taking for his guidance the
- observation of the immortal Bain, that the Tender Emotions are
- exclusively Glandular Affections, the author of this charming novel
- has afforded his readers a perfect study of the effects of each of the
- passions—Pity, Sympathy, Regret, Disappointment, Hope, and Love—on the
- various glands which they respectively affect. A simple love story
- naturally describes each emotion in its turn, and allows us to pause
- and acquaint ourselves with its physiological results. The lucid
- explanation of the physiological reasons why Mothers love their
- children is particularly valuable, as calculated to explode the last
- stronghold of the superstitious reverence which was once paid to
- parents among semi-civilized nations.
-
-After these critical Notices of Books, the _Age of Science_ proceeds to
-offer the following remarks on Art and the Drama:—
-
-
- _EXHIBITION OF THE ROYAL ACADEMY OF ARTS._
-
- FIRST NOTICE.
-
- To-day being the first of the New Year, this Exhibition was as usual
- opened to the public, and we think all true lovers of Art will agree
- that it is a most satisfactory one, and displays more than the usual
- average merit of our Exhibitions, whether we consider the aggregate
- number of important works, their size, their execution, or the noble
- prices they have realised to their authors; such prices having been,
- according to the lately adopted custom, published in the catalogues
- issued after the day of the Private View, when connoisseurs have made
- their selection of the works not previously disposed of in the
- _ateliers_ of the artists. This (which is, after all, the true test of
- success) greatly enhances the interest of these catalogues, affording
- a guide as to the degree of public favour in which the respective
- artists are held. Reform in the Academy itself, so long demanded, has
- been at last effected, in spite of all the obstacles thrown in the way
- of the reformers, who desired to break down the monopoly so long
- maintained by the painters and sculptors, who would only consent to
- the admission of a limited number of architects and engravers into
- their privileged body. Now, at last, the claims of all artists have
- been recognised, and Decorators, Carpet-designers, Metalworkers and
- Electrotypers, Wood Carvers, &c. &c., have been admitted within its
- walls, and the magic letters R.A. may frequently be found attached to
- the names of the leading members of many of our manufacturing firms.
- In fact, we may say that Painting and Sculpture have found their
- level, and now that the great canon of Art has been thoroughly
- established, and it is acknowledged that _Utility_, not _Beauty_, is
- its only legitimate aim, and Scientific Reality and Accuracy, not wild
- attempts at attaining a so-called Ideality, its true goal of
- perfection, the merits of these too-long unrecognised geniuses have
- been found to surpass all others. The mechanical helps with which
- Science has supplied us have rendered it possible to accomplish feats
- of which our ancestors had no idea. Photography has enabled us to
- reproduce all possible forms, thus securing, with great economy of
- labour, the facile execution of stupendous works adapted for the
- decoration of the outside as well as the inside of our buildings. In
- this Exhibition, of course, these gigantic works cannot be seen, but
- the smaller ones by the same artists give us good specimens of their
- power. No. 3,004, for instance, is well worthy the attention of
- visitors. It is intended, as the catalogue informs us, for the wall
- decoration of the Terminus of the Great Central Balloon Station, and
- gives a very wonderfully correct representation of the three Provinces
- into which London is now divided, as seen from the distance of six
- miles above the height of St. Paul’s. Every roof and chimney is
- accurately represented, and every feature of the smallest interest, on
- the scale of an inch to a mile. Portrait-painting may be said to have
- been entirely superseded now that the Sun has been compelled to add
- colour to form in the pictures taken by the photographic camera, and
- Landscape Art has died out in its old inaccurate fanciful sense,
- having been succeeded by a more scientific method of representing
- Nature as she really is. The geological formation of every mountain,
- the physiology of each tree and blade of grass, as determined by
- expert geologists and botanists, will alone satisfy us in this age of
- science, and we demand this accuracy from all who pretend to record
- the aspect of our country. We find all these requirements met in the
- works of the distinguished landscape painter of No. 60,072, “View of
- the Great Smelting Works,” in the iron district, lately discovered in
- the North of Scotland. We venture to affirm that none but a thoroughly
- educated man of science could have painted the details of this
- picture, and we cannot bestow higher praise. The “Interior of the
- Factory,” No. 20,621, is also a work deserving of much commendation
- for the minuteness of its detail, which must be examined with a strong
- magnifier to be thoroughly enjoyed—the complicated arrangement of the
- machinery escaping the naked eye; also the texture of the materials
- which are being manufactured into webs of the most gossamer-like
- lightness from heaps of rough coarse yarns and woollen threads. The
- faces of the operatives are exquisitely rendered, and you seem to hear
- the noise of the wheels and cranks.
-
- The Sculpture Gallery is perhaps less attractive to the general public
- than are the pictures; still it contains some interesting works, and
- the tailors and milliners who were consulted by the art critics as to
- the details of the costumes of the portrait statues, gave their
- opinion that very few errors had been committed this year, thanks to
- the advice tendered by them at sundry lectures delivered on the
- subject last summer. Our statesmen and benefactors are no longer
- represented in dress, or undress, in which they were never beheld, but
- in the exact apparel which they actually wore; and future ages will be
- afforded a correct idea not only of their features, but of any bodily
- defects they may have laboured to conceal. Thus an archæological and
- historical interest will attach to these effigies, and truth will be
- upheld. Science has done much for this art also. Mechanical means have
- assisted this accuracy of representation—notably in the application of
- metal, which can now be applied to the dress, &c., where great
- elaboration of detail is required, so as to admit, for example, of
- stamping out patterns in lace ruffles, and imitating the very texture
- of the materials, while the resemblance to marble is perfect.
- Especially useful is this invention for the application of colour; and
- we defy anyone to detect the difference of substance without the
- closest observation, such as a skilful workman alone could bestow. The
- advantages offered by this discovery are obvious in the case of veiled
- statues, so much admired by the British public. (See Nos. 720 to
- 1,293.) We cannot bestow too much praise on the exquisite polish of
- surface and delicacy of the workmanship of many of these works,
- notably in the feathers of the bird’s wing in No. 2,320, “A Chinese
- Scullion plucking a Goose.” Compare this with the rude and uncouth
- attempts of the ancient Greeks to idealize the naked human form!
-
-
- _THEATRES._
-
- At this season in former times, when boys were foolishly allowed to
- leave school for the holidays, the theatres (as some of us are old
- enough to remember) were much frequented, and were principally used
- for a silly kind of entertainment called Pantomimes. Of the three
- theatres in London which still continue to be devoted to some sort of
- dramatic performance, and have not been transferred into Lecture
- Halls, one only (the _Gaiety_) seems successful this winter. Crowds
- attend every night to witness “School,” a piece in which there is no
- folly of love-making, but the anxieties of a Competitive Examination
- for Honours in Science are finely realised. A tragic interest is
- imparted to the plot by making the hero become insane just as he has
- achieved the object of his ambition. At the _Haymarket_ there has been
- a failure which we fear will result in the ruin of the lessee. This
- enterprising gentleman imagined it might be possible to revive in
- these days an interest in some of the old plays once popular in this
- country, and after (it appears) long consultation and deliberation,
- determined to bring the _Merchant of Venice_ upon the boards. It was
- hoped that the proposal of one of the characters of the piece, named
- Shylock, to cut a pound of flesh from another, and the discussion
- whether this could be done without the effusion of blood, would excite
- the interest of the spectators. Unfortunately, as the author of the
- drama (Shakespeare, we are informed) stops short at the very crisis of
- the physiological experiment, and allows the intended subject to
- escape, the audience not unnaturally have exhibited disappointment,
- and the piece has been pronounced a failure.
-
- At the St. James’s Theatre the manager has likewise made a mistake in
- reviving Moliere’s _Malade Imaginaire_. We see no humour in this,
- so-called, comedy. Where is the point, for example, of the supposed
- jest of making the young medical student, _Thomas Diafoirus_, present
- his lady-love with a ticket of admission to a dissection? The act was
- a natural and delicate attention.
-
-The next department of the _Age of Science_ is very short as usual.
-
-
- _COURT._
-
- Her Most Gracious Majesty, accompanied by the Princess Urania, and
- attended by Dr. Brown and Dr. Robinson, Lords Physicians in Waiting,
- honoured Dr. Scalpel’s studio by a visit, during which Dr. Scalpel
- exhibited to the youthful Princess several beautiful preparations of
- various cutaneous diseases, and of the morbid anatomy of Lupus and
- Elephantiasis.
-
- Sir R. Atmosphere, Astronomer Royal, Sir A. Diggory, Geologist in
- Ordinary to her Majesty, and the eminent Chemist, Herr Von
- Pestle-Mortar, had the honour of dining with the Queen at Windsor
- Castle at 10 P.M. The Lord Doctor of Winchester, Her Majesty’s Medical
- Confessor, said the new Grace (“May good digestion wait on appetite”)
- at the commencement of the repast, and the Band, with chorus of male
- and female voices, performed at the conclusion the Hymn, “Oh, take thy
- pill,—Oh, take thy pill,—Oh, take thy pilgrim home.”
-
-In examining the journals of a foreign country, the intelligent reader
-will generally be able to gather some insight into the habits of the
-natives by passing his eye down the columns of advertisements and noting
-the class of objects presented for sale. In the _Age of Science_ there
-are no less than fifty the vast pages we have described devoted to
-announcements and puffs of the most astonishing variety, including
-hundreds of articles whose names and uses are at present quite unknown.
-Of advertisements of servants and other persons requiring employment we
-have not found a single instance, but there were at least twenty columns
-of invitations to “Ladies and Gentlemen” to be so kind as to act for the
-advertiser in the capacity of housekeeper, steward, superintendent of
-the house, or some equally well-sounding office, the remuneration
-offered being at the lowest, it would seem, about £200 a year, with “the
-use of a steam carriage,” and “every other luxury desired.”
-
-We must, however, leave the columns of ADVERTISEMENTS for future
-examination, and proceed to give an account of the more important LAW
-AND POLICE REPORTS, which form, perhaps, the most surprising part of the
-_Age of Science_. It would appear that it had become necessary to hold
-assizes in at least twenty towns and villages in every county; and that
-the judges were incessantly occupied with cases of robbery, garrotting,
-arson, rape, stabbing, poisoning, and (strange to remark) a number of
-offences with new names, of whose nature we can merely guess, but which
-appear to involve mortal injury to the victim. The words employed, such
-as “Debarrassing,” “Morbifying,” “Disbraining,” “Petroleumization,”
-“Electroding,” “Mesmeraciding,” &c., seem to have become so common as to
-need no definition, and to have taken their place in the statute book.
-For all these crimes the same class of penalties are allotted; the
-convicted persons are invariably sentenced by the presiding judge to so
-many weeks’ or months’ detention—not in prison, but in the Penal
-Hospitals of their respective towns or villages. The principle on which
-crime is thus visited appears from the addresses of several of the
-magistrates, who remark that the “diseased minds” exhibited by the
-robbers and murderers “obviously require careful medical treatment,” and
-that they trust that the eminent Physicians and Surgeons to whom the
-prisoners are consigned will not fail to complete their cure. In
-numerous cases, as the offenders have been sentenced many times
-previously, the judge speaks of their crime as exhibiting “an
-intermittent fever” of homicidal rage, or of covetousness. Remarks are
-also always made by the reporters as to the “abnormal cerebral
-development” or “morbid symptoms” exhibited by the criminals, and the
-tone assumed in speaking of them (even in cases of what we should term
-the most cruel and brutal murders) is invariably one of scientific study
-and calm philosophic analysis.
-
-A very different method of treatment, however, is adopted towards
-another class of offenders, whom it would appear the authorities in the
-_Age of Science_ are determined to put down in grim earnest. That our
-readers may not suppose we mistake the sense of the amazing paragraphs
-in which these new features of English legislation appear, we quote them
-as they stand in the _Age of Science_, pp. 63 and 64.
-
-
- _POLICE._
-
- At the Mansion House this morning, 79 men and 140 women were summoned
- for the non-attendance of their boys under two years old at the Public
- Infants’ Science Classes in the new Kinder Garten in the Tower.
- Various pleas were, as usual, put forth by the defendants, purporting
- to prove in some cases that the children were ill with small-pox and
- scarlet fever, and in several instances that they were dying or dead.
- Mr. Alderman Busby remarked that “if they were to listen to such
- pleas, children would grow up to three or four years old without
- learning even the rudiments of astronomy or palæontology.” He ordered
- all the fathers to be publicly flogged, and the mothers to receive
- each a dozen stripes of the birch privately, in the State Whipping
- House, and to stand on benches for three days in the nearest
- Elementary School during school hours.
-
- [Similar judgments are recorded at Westminster, Worship Street,
- Clerkenwell, and several other police-courts in London and the
- provincial towns.]
-
-
- _MIDDLESEX SESSIONS._
-
- The Duke and Duchess of Broadacres, the Marquis of Carabas, Lady Clara
- Vere de Vere, and the Lady Adeline Amundeville were brought up (in
- chains) to receive sentence on the charges (fully proved against them
- last week) of having deceived the Officers of Domestic Inspection
- respecting their own and their children’s Canination and Porcination.
- It was shown that all the defendants had been Vaccinated according to
- law four times during the last twelvemonth, and Equinated twice during
- the late prevalence of glanders, but though Rabies and the Measles
- were both known to be raging in London, they had not only neglected to
- present themselves and their children at the Canine and Porcine
- Stations in Queen’s Gate, but had deceived the Inspectors as above
- stated by exhibiting the former scars for the latter. Being unable to
- produce any medical certificate showing that they had obeyed the law,
- and having been found “guilty” by a special jury (containing, of
- course, the legal proportion—three-fourths—of Medical graduates), all
- five prisoners were sentenced by Mr. Justice Draco to the extreme
- penalty of the law. They will be vivisected for the instruction of the
- students at the magnificent new School of Physiology in Carlton
- Gardens, as soon after the opening of the session as may be
- convenient. Some sympathy was expressed in court for the Duke of
- Broadacres, who, being an elderly nobleman in feeble health, seems to
- have feared superstitiously the processes (unknown in his youth) of
- using, for the purpose of inoculations, the saliva from mad dogs, as a
- preventive of hydrophobia, on the principle of “a hair of the dog
- which has bitten you.” The expression of misplaced public
- commiseration was instantly checked by the learned Judge, and the
- prisoners were removed, exhibiting many signs of trepidation. Lady
- Clara Vere de Vere implored that she might be even Ratified sooner
- than given over to the students, but her request was, of course,
- sternly refused. It is indeed specially fortunate that so sensitive a
- subject as this young and delicate-looking lady is likely to prove
- should fall, in course of law, under physiological investigation at
- the moment when the exquisite experiments of Dr. Blacksmith on the
- Nervous System are in course of exposition.
-
-Even these startling announcements, however, are less surprising than
-the following:—
-
-
- _SANITARY OFFICE._
-
- Dec. 25, 1977.
-
- The proceedings of this most high and solemn Court in the Realm were,
- as usual, held with closed doors. There were present five Lord
- Doctors, and sentences were passed, after due deliberation, and (it is
- rumoured) the application of the Question, ordinary and extraordinary,
- on nine obstinate heretics. Three of these were members of that
- fanatical sect, the Peculiar People, who refuse to consult physicians
- on the ground of religious scruples—an instance of the survival of
- outworn superstitions scarcely credible in this enlightened _Age of
- Science_. One of these miserable delinquents, named John Nokes,
- alleged that his twelve children had enjoyed unbroken health till his
- youngest little boy cut his finger. The wretched father, instead of
- hurrying instantly for the nearest surgeon, himself dressed the
- child’s wound (which appears to have been superficial) with adhesive
- plaster, and gave the child a fragment of toffee to stop his crying,
- in lieu of the proper therapeutic remedies for the shock to the
- nervous system which any medical attendant would have exhibited. The
- crime came fortunately to the knowledge of the police, who immediately
- brought the matter before the Sanitary Office. A second offender of
- the same sect, named Styles, had, it seems, an attack of Podagra, but
- took no advice, and having rather quickly recovered, was in hopes (it
- is supposed) that his neglect to obey the law would pass undiscovered.
- A crutch seen in his room raised the suspicion of a visitor, and the
- offender was eventually arrested. When interrogated by the Lord
- Presiding Doctor of the Sanitary Court as to the motives of his crime,
- the man (as his sentence sets forth) actually dared to reply by
- quoting a passage from an obsolete book, wherein it is narrated of a
- certain King, “Now Asa was diseased in his feet, yet in his disease he
- sought not to the Lord, but to the physicians. And Asa slept with his
- fathers.”[1] This narrative, as Styles had the audacity to argue, was
- an authentic, and, indeed, inspired report of a fit of the gout—its
- diagnosis, treatment, and the result. As he did not desire to “sleep
- with his fathers,” he (Styles) had avoided consulting the physicians,
- and had endeavoured to consult the Lord by following the dictates of
- common sense, and the consequence was that he had recovered with
- unusual rapidity. The Lord President was moved to great indignation by
- the obduracy of this heretic. He remarked that the book which
- contained such a passage—a volume which, he was happy to say, he had,
- for his part, never read—ought to be burnt before the doors of the
- London University; and as to the prisoner Styles, it would be useless
- for him to hope to escape sharing in the same combustion.
-
-Footnote 1:
-
- 2 Chron. xvi. 12.
-
- After the Peculiar People, two Homœopaths were found guilty—one of
- administering globules to an old woman, the other of refusing to join
- in the processions on the 5th of November, when the busts of Hahnemann
- are carried to be calcined. The remaining four heretics avowed belief
- in as many different heinous errors. One gave credit to MICHEL’S
- process for the cure of external cancer, another thought new-born
- infants ought not to be dosed with castor oil; a third placed
- confidence in bone-setters, and the fourth (a very old lady) retained
- an infatuated preference for the remedies which were in vogue a
- century ago—bromide of potassium and chloral—which, of course, have
- been since peremptorily condemned and pronounced highly injurious by
- the supreme authority of the Faculty.
-
- The aforesaid nine heretics, having been solemnly found “guilty,”
- after due inquisition by the High Sanitary Office, were condemned as
- contumacious by the Lord Presiding Doctor, and the Most Eminent
- Doctors Pole, Gardiner, and Bonner, and were delivered over last night
- to the Secular Arm. Piles are in process of erection in Trafalgar
- Square. It is announced that Her Gracious Majesty Queen Mary III. will
- preside at the execution, which will take place on Sunday morning
- next, after hearing a Lecture on “True Medical Belief,” to be
- delivered by Her Majesty’s Medical Confessor in Ordinary, Dr. Torr
- Quemada, under the dome of St. Paul’s.
-
-Such is a brief abstract of these most astounding _Law and Police
-Reports_ in the _Age of Science_. We make no comments upon them, except
-the expression of our wonder at the similarity between the office and
-behaviour of a Priest of Religion in the fifteenth century and a Priest
-of Science in the twentieth. With complete citations of four out of the
-twenty-five Leading Articles of the _Age of Science_, we must conclude
-this imperfect but thoroughly reliable account of the remarkable journal
-of 1977, whose discovery has been the glorious first-fruits of the
-PROSPECTIVE TELEGRAPH.
-
- Since the epoch, now nearly forty years past, when SMITH made his
- immortal discovery of the Army Exterminator, followed up so rapidly by
- JONES’ invention of the Fleet Annihilator, international policy has
- necessarily undergone a great modification. As war has become
- impossible as an _ultima ratio_ in any case, and the principle of
- Arbitration, on which such hopes were founded, has proved ineffective,
- in consequence of the general refusal of the working classes to permit
- their governments to pay the _amendes_ agreed upon by the Arbitrators,
- a permanent state of discord between nations seems to have become
- established. The dream of Free Trade having also been exploded,
- following the example of the American Empire, at that time a Republic,
- (prohibitive duties having been placed by the different States on
- their own exports and the imports of other countries,) commerce is
- undoubtedly, just now, considerably hampered. The immense facilities
- for travelling which we possess, thanks to the æro-magnetic propeller,
- have also their disadvantages, since the abandonment of extradition
- treaties allows the criminals of each country to take refuge
- immediately in the neighbouring State, when they happen to entertain
- any serious objection to detention in the Penal Hospitals. For all
- these drawbacks to our progress, however, SCIENCE will no doubt soon
- provide an efficient remedy.
-
- We are on the high-road, it cannot be doubted, to a period of
- prosperity and universal longevity (after all, the main object of all
- rational ambition) such as the world has not hitherto beheld.
-
- The foreign news of the hour is somewhat unsatisfactory. In
- consequence of the generally lawless condition of the Southern Russian
- Republics, the great corn districts of those regions have for some
- years been falling out of cultivation; and no hopes are entertained
- that we shall be able to import any more grain from Odessa, or indeed
- from any quarter of the world. In a similar way, the native rulers to
- whom we restored what was formerly called our Indian Empire, and also
- China after its brief occupation, have so far adopted American and
- European ideas as to place for this next year such duties on rice and
- tea as will almost prohibit the importation of those articles into the
- English market, while they have positively forbidden the introduction
- of English cotton or iron into their respective States. The bad and
- deceptive quality of the goods furnished by our manufacturers is the
- alleged cause of these unfortunate regulations. SCIENCE will, no
- doubt, ere long enable us to supply the deficiencies thus caused both
- in our Commissariat and the income hitherto derived from manufacture;
- but, for the present, some anxiety is naturally felt in commercial
- circles regarding these untoward events. Against all mishaps, however,
- we rejoice to set the announcement—which will be greeted with
- universal exultation—that the researches of the learned Professor
- Coppervale respecting the animalculæ causing the Vine Disease, the
- Silk-worm Disease, and the Potato Disease, have resulted in the
- glorious discovery of a method of conveying the infection with
- absolute scientific certainty from a plant or insect which has been
- attacked to another still healthy. In this manner the vineyards of
- Château La Rose and of Château Yquem have both been effectively
- inoculated by the processes recommended by the English Professor to
- the French Director of Agriculture; and the result is perfectly
- satisfactory. Not a grape on either ground was available during the
- last vintage for wine-making. In the words, then, of an illustrious
- philosopher of last century, “From this vantage ground already won we
- look forward with confident hope to the triumph of science over all
- the loss and misery which the human race has experienced.” Anyone who
- has eaten a grape infected with the _phylloxera_ according to
- Professor Coppervale’s stupendous discovery, will have enjoyed a
- foretaste of the triumph of Science in ages to come.
-
- * * * * *
-
- Considerable excitement prevails just now in many of our large towns
- in consequence of the needful, but somewhat troublesome, formalities
- required by law before any trade or handicraft may be exercised.
- Blacksmiths’ apprentices, we are told, very generally resent the
- necessity of passing their proper examinations in Metallurgy before
- they are qualified to shoe a horse; and the Artificial Flower Makers
- constantly evade attendance at the lectures on Botany, given expressly
- for their benefit. The candidates for licenses as Cabdrivers have more
- than once exhibited signs of discontent, when rejected on the grounds
- that they failed to answer some of the simplest examination questions
- on the principles of Mechanics applied to Traction, and on the
- correlation of Heat and Motion, as discovered by the illustrious
- author of “Heat as a Mode of Motion.” A strike (it is even rumoured)
- is impending among the stonemasons and bricklayers and slaters in a
- certain large city, because the Police, at the order of the
- Magistrates, having brought up several members of those trade-unions
- to the Local Examining Board for inquiry, it was elicited that none of
- them had acquired a competent knowledge of Geology in general, nor
- even of the formation of the strata of rocks wherewith their proper
- business is concerned.
-
- These difficulties were to be anticipated in the progress of
- Scientific knowledge among the masses, and we earnestly hope that no
- proposal to relax the late very wise legislation will be made in
- Parliament, but rather to reinforce the existing Acts by severer
- penalties upon ignorance and inattention. Who can for a moment think,
- for example, of allowing his shirt to be washed by a person who knows
- nothing of the chemistry of soap, blue, and starch? or his dinner
- cooked by a man who (however skilled in the mere kitchen art of
- sending up appetising dishes) is totally ignorant of how much albumen,
- salts, and alkalies go to the formation of vegetable and animal diet?
-
- A kindred subject of unreasonable popular dissatisfaction are the
- Medical Certificates of good Health now legally required from men,
- women, and children performing any kind of labour in factories,
- warehouses, shops, fields, ships, or in domestic service. Obviously it
- is impossible to certify the health of any individual for more than a
- few days at a time, and the necessity which the recent Act enforces of
- obtaining a fresh certificate (and, of course, paying the doctor for
- it) every week, is felt by discontented persons as a burden unfairly
- laid upon them by the State. We regret that the process is, in truth,
- slightly troublesome and expensive (the _minimum_ fee for the humbler
- trades is, as our readers are aware, half-a-crown; for exercising the
- higher professions—artists, merchants, lawyers, &c.—5_s._), but it was
- recognised so long ago as 1876 as a right principle of legislation in
- the case of factory works, and it now forms so legitimate a source of
- regular income to a large body of most respectable medical gentlemen,
- who make it their business to grant certificates, that we cannot
- imagine anyone being so ill-advised as to suggest the repeal of the
- law. Of course the number of persons thus excluded from the labour
- market is very considerable indeed, but we must accept such a
- consequence as inevitable. Since cripples were rejected a century ago
- for the office of schoolmasters and schoolmistresses, the practice has
- been constantly followed of placing restrictions upon the feeble
- attempts at industry of persons labouring under natural defects and
- disabilities, and the Blind, for example, are no longer allowed to
- compete with the seeing in making mats and baskets. For all such
- wretched people there are open the proper asylums, the Hospital for
- the diseased, and the Workhouse for the feeble, the maimed, the deaf,
- and the blind. Charity itself can ask no more. The resistance of these
- unfortunates against entering these institutions must be put down. The
- world is, after all, made for the strong—the strong in mind, and the
- strong in body; and the notion that it is our business to “bear each
- other’s burdens” belonged altogether to an Unscientific age. What if
- physicians and surgeons _do_ try experiments daily on the patients in
- the hospitals, sometimes involving a good deal of pain, or loss of
- limb or life? These people are fed and housed, and often extravagantly
- fattened up on the most luxurious food, on the condition of serving
- the cause of Science as subjects of experiments. And what, again, if
- the children in the workhouses be given over now and then by the
- Guardians, at the request of the Medical authorities, for vivisection?
- They are nearly always placed under the influence of anæsthetics,
- indeed, we may say invariably so, unless the object of the experiment
- would be frustrated by their use. Could the humanest of our
- humanitarians ask anything more? The rule of SCIENCE is the most
- benign, as well as enlightened, the world has ever seen.
-
- * * * * *
-
- The sanitary interests of the community are now recognized on all
- hands as the supreme concern of the State, as the care of his own
- health and the prolongation of life at all costs are the chief ends of
- each individual man. We therefore commence our yearly review by noting
- in what manner the advance of SCIENCE, (in which lies our only hope,)
- has contributed during the past twelvemonth towards this grand object.
-
- The foremost place of honour is, of course, due to the discovery of
- the eminent Dr. Howlem of the scientific way to give Cholera; after
- which we may reckon Dr. Mowlem’s short method of conveying the Plague;
- and last, Dr. Bowlem’s most interesting and valuable plan for
- producing Leprosy. These immense discoveries (effected, it is needless
- to remark, by laborious pathological experiments on animals and
- idiots) may well make the past year memorable in the annals of the
- Science of Medicine; and though the particular specific remedies for
- the diseases in question have not yet been ascertained by the Faculty,
- we can scarcely fail to attain that secondary object ere long,
- together with the proper treatment of Consumption, Scarlet Fever, and
- other maladies which Science has been able to convey for the last
- hundred years, and _must_ ere long find out how to cure.
-
- Next in importance to actual discovery we are inclined to place the
- new Regulations which Parliament has laid down in obedience to the
- High Court of Convocation. The absolute prohibition to Women to read
- or write—even in cases where they may have formerly acquired those
- arts (now recognised as so unsuitable to their sex)—will, we
- apprehend, tell importantly on the health of infants, and of course
- eventually on that of the community. So long as females indulged in no
- more deleterious practices than dancing in hot rooms all night,
- unclothing their necks and chests, wearing thin slippers which exposed
- their feet to deadly chills, and tightening their waists till their
- ribs were crushed inwards, the Medical Profession very properly left
- them to follow their own devices with but little public remonstrance.
- The case was altered, however, when, three or four generations ago, a
- considerable movement was made for what was then called the Higher
- Education of women. The feeble brains of young females were actually
- taxed to study the now forgotten Greek and Latin languages, and even
- Mathematics and such Natural Science as was then understood. The
- result was truly alarming; for these poor creatures flung themselves
- with such energy into the pursuits opened to them, that, as one of
- their critics remarked, they resembled “the palmer-worm and the
- canker-worm—they devoured every green thing”—and not seldom surpassed
- their masculine competitors. At length they began to aim at entering
- the learned Professions—the Legal, and even the Medical. Our readers
- may be inclined to doubt the latter fact, which seems to involve
- actual absurdity, but there is evidence that there once existed two or
- three Lady Doctors in London, who, like Pope Joan in Rome, foisted
- themselves surreptitiously into an exalted position from which Nature
- should have debarred them. Of course it was the solemn duty of the
- Medical Profession to put a stop at once to an error which might lead
- to such a catastrophe, and numerous books were immediately written
- proving (what we all now acknowledge) that the culture of the brains
- of women is highly detrimental to their proper functions in the
- community; and, in short, that the more ignorant a woman may be, the
- more delightful she is as a wife, and the better qualified to fulfil
- the duties of a mother.
-
- Since SCIENCE has thoroughly gained the upper hand over Religious and
- other prejudices, the position of women, we are happy to say, has been
- steadily sinking, and the dream of a Higher Education has been
- replaced by the abolition of even Elementary Schools for girls, and
- now by the final Act of last Session, which renders it penal for any
- woman to read a hook or newspaper, or to write a letter. We anticipate
- the very happiest results from this thoroughly sound and manly
- legislation.
-
- The last sanitary event to which we need at present advert is the new
- law by which, on the certificate of any single Medical Graduate that a
- person is Insane, the police will be called on immediately to arrest
- and consign him to such mad-house as the Medical graduate shall
- appoint. The magistrate by whose order the arrest is made is left no
- option as to obeying the Medical graduate’s certificate, and we are
- glad also to see that, by another clause in the Act, the only
- remaining difficulty connected with these Asylums has been removed.
- None but a Medical graduate, responsible only to the great Medical
- Trades Union Council, is henceforth eligible to the office of
- Inspector of any Lunatic Asylum throughout the kingdom, nor can any
- Justice of the Peace grant an order for admittance or search, except
- to such a graduate. These wise and reasonable regulations will afford
- much satisfaction to the Medical gentlemen who have undertaken the
- arduous but not unprofitable profession of managers and proprietors of
- Lunatic Asylums.
-
- * * * * *
-
- Our prognostics of last New Year’s Day have been amply justified by
- the Summary of Crime for the past twelvemonth, which has just been
- published, according to the excellent recent appointment of the
- Registrar General of Offences. Crimes of the lesser class, such as
- murders, poisonings, electroding and exploding, have indeed increased
- considerably in number, and perhaps also in the degree of recklessness
- and violence exhibited by the offenders; but on the other hand, as we
- prophesied, those crimes which involve so much larger evils to the
- community—the detestable Homœopathic and Hydropathic heresies,
- Infidelity respecting the sacred doctrine of Evolution, neglect of
- Schooling, and neglect of Equination, Vaccination, Canination, and
- Porcination, have dwindled under the severe measures of punishment
- which we urged for so long on a too lax legislature, but which have at
- last been thoroughly enforced. We may really hope to see a few years
- hence the Reign of SCIENCE so complete that no man, woman, or child in
- the land will presume to whisper a doubt on any subject on which the
- Sanitary Office has pronounced, or attempt to evade the seasons
- appointed by authority for receiving the Rites above mentioned. The
- Act passed at the end of the last century, whereby certificates of
- Vaccination were substituted for all legal purposes for Baptismal
- certificates, was the first step towards the happy order of things
- under which we now have the privilege to dwell.
-
- Lest our readers should feel a not wholly unnatural anxiety, founded
- on the admitted increase of the lesser crimes to which we have
- adverted, we wish to remind them that such an occurrence was
- inevitable on the final collapse of Religion, and that we must be
- content to wait till Science shall have had time to substitute some
- more effectual checks on human passions than it has yet been in our
- power to apply. It is too obvious to need remark that since men have
- learned that Death is the end of their existence, they must be
- expected to seize more hastily and resolutely every pleasure which
- life may offer, nay, that it would be absurd and unscientific to
- expect them to do otherwise. Let us do justice to the old effete
- superstition, and admit that the delusive notion that an invisible
- Being watched human actions, loved good men, and would punish bad ones
- in another world, if not in the present, was calculated to exercise
- considerable influence of a beneficial sort on ordinary minds. Certain
- types of character (not now, of course, to be found in the world) seem
- to have flourished under the fictitious charm of these antique
- ideas—characters exhibiting a certain courage and unselfishness, of
- which it is scarcely possible to read without some little regret that
- they are not conformable with sounder philosophic views of the nature
- and destiny of man. People had, we must remember, in former days, four
- distinct motives for doing good instead of evil. First, they believed
- in an omnipotent Lord and Master whom they called “God.” 2nd, they
- believed in a sacred internal Guide whom they called Conscience; and
- 3rd, they believed in a peculiar principle of action which they called
- Honour. After all these came the Criminal Law, ready to punish those
- who neglected what were deemed to be loftier motives. Now we, in this
- glorious _Age of Science_, must remember that of all these four
- incentives to virtue only one remains. We know there is no God, or, at
- least, that, if there be, he is Unknown and Unknowable; and we are
- persuaded that Conscience is merely the inherited prejudice of our
- barbarous ancestors in favour of the class of actions which were found
- conducive to the welfare of the tribe. As to the Law of Honour, men
- had already begun to forget what it signified a hundred years ago,
- when the Age of SCIENCE was just dawning, for we find at that epoch a
- writer of considerable pretensions, in a periodical called the
- _Fortnightly Review_, actually asserting that its standard “is
- submission not to Law but to Opinion ... deference to the opinion of a
- particular class.” Up to that period we think it was universally
- understood by “honourable” persons to signify, quite on the contrary,
- Reverence for an inward standard of rectitude, truth, and generosity;
- for a man’s own private sense of Honour and self-respect, which he
- would not forfeit to gain the applause of a world. In our time, of
- course, it is needless to say that all these fine ideal sentiments
- have gone utterly out of vogue, and, having left them behind us, we
- have only the Criminal Law on which to rely for the protection of life
- and property. It is needless to repeat that the delusive exhortations
- of some amiable but short-sighted philosophers of the last century to
- “labour for the good of Humanity in future generations” (a motive
- which they supposed would prove a substitute for the old Historic
- Religions) have been once and for all answered by the grand discovery
- of the Astronomers that our planet cannot long remain the habitation
- of man (even if it escape any sidereal explosion) since the Solar heat
- is undergoing such rapid exhaustion. When the day comes—as come it
- must—when the fruits of the earth perish one by one, when the dead and
- silent woods petrify, and all the races of animals become extinct—when
- the icy seas flow no longer, and the pallid Sun shines dimly over the
- frozen world, locked like the Moon in eternal frost and
- lifelessness—what, in that day predicted so surely by Science, will
- avail all the works, and hopes, and martyrdoms of man? All the stores
- of knowledge which we shall have accumulated will be for ever lost.
- Our discoveries, whereby we have become the lords of creation and
- wielded the great forces of Nature, will be useless and forgotten. The
- virtues which have been perfected, the genius which has glorified, the
- love which has blessed the human race, will all perish along with it.
- Our libraries of books, our galleries of pictures, our fleets, our
- railroads, our vast and busy cities, will be desolate and useless for
- evermore. No intelligent eye will ever behold them; and no mind in the
- universe will know or remember that there ever existed such a being as
- Man. _This_ is what SCIENCE teaches us unerringly to expect,—and in
- view of it, who shall talk to us of “labouring for the sake of
- Humanity”? The enthusiasm which could work disinterestedly for a
- Progress destined inevitably to end in an eternal Glacial Period must
- be recognised as a dream, wherein no man in a Scientific Age can long
- indulge.
-
- There is, then, but one Method on which we can rely to repress human
- passions and hold together the somewhat brittle chain of Society. That
- method is the Scientific Treatment of Crime, under such conditions as
- careful investigation and experiments may prove to be best suited to
- effect its cure. We can hold out no supersensual motives to the
- _Minds_ of the multitude, but we can treat their _Bodies_ in the very
- best manner possible to render them virtuous and industrious citizens.
- It is true that as yet the results of our efforts in this direction
- have not been very satisfactory. The salutary processes employed in
- the Penal Hospitals under the most eminent physicians have not been
- altogether crowned with success; and crime of the violent kind
- increases year by year almost in geometrical proportion. Nevertheless,
- it would ill become any of us who have the privilege to live in this
- enlightened age to entertain a shadow of a doubt that our Scientific
- method is the right one, and that by-and-by (while we respectfully
- wait the results of their experiments) our great Medical men will
- discover the proper remedies for murder, rape, and robbery. For our
- own part, it is superfluous to assure our readers, we retain
- unwavering, unbounded faith in the resources of SCIENCE to provide a
- perfect substitute for Religion, for Conscience, and for Honour.
-
-
- J. OGDEN AND CO., PRINTERS, 172, ST. JOHN STREET, E.C.
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES
-
-
- 1. Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling.
- 2. Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed.
- 3. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.
-
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