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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Breath of Beelzebub, by Larry Sternig
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this ebook.
-
-Title: Breath of Beelzebub
-
-Author: Larry Sternig
-
-Release Date: November 14, 2020 [EBook #63757]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BREATH OF BEELZEBUB ***
-
-
-
-
- Breath Of Beelzebub
-
- By LARRY STERNIG
-
- All that had been distilled from the curious
- vegetation of the doomed planetoid was half
- an ounce, a mere timbleful of blue liquor.
- But it was enough to drive a universe mad.
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Planet Stories Winter 1946.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-The martian servant stopped at my desk, coughed faintly to attract
-my attention. I looked up and he handed me a calling card on which
-was printed "Slane O'Graeme." It was a limp, thumb-marked and
-discouraged-looking emissary.
-
-"'E wishes to see Mr. Ames," the wedge-faced servant told me. The high
-disdain in his tone of voice revealed more clearly than words his
-opinion of the visitor.
-
-I shrugged and dropped the card on my desk. "Oh, well, send him in.
-I'll give him the brush-off."
-
-The Martian faded away and I turned back to the 1999 capitulation
-figures Mr. Ames wanted. I forgot about Slane O'Graeme, whoever he was,
-until a timid "hello" made me look up from the reports.
-
-"You're Mr. Fleming Ames?" he asked diffidently.
-
-He was an odd-looking little guy with a head like an oversize cue-ball
-and a narrow fringe of fuzzy graying hair that looked like a misguided
-halo. He wore green-tinted contact lenses that made his eyes seem
-unusually large and bright.
-
-"No, I'm not Fleming Ames," I told him. "I'm Bill Dineen, Mr. Ames'
-confidential secretary. What can I do for you?"
-
-"Uh--Mr. Ames is president of Universal Liquors, Incorporated, isn't
-he?"
-
-I nodded.
-
-"I have something I'd like to show him, Mr. Dineen. It's something new.
-I found it on Planetoid Y-145."
-
-I stared at him almost incredulously. He didn't look like a spaceman.
-
-"You mean a kind of drink? But I didn't think any of the planetoids
-were inhabited. How did you--"
-
-"It isn't a drink exactly, Mr. Dineen. And Planetoid Y-145 isn't
-inhabited--in fact, there isn't any Planetoid Y-145 any more. A meteor
-hit it last week, I read in the astrogation reports. Busted it to
-smithereens."
-
-He reached in his pocket and held up a little transpariplast vial,
-which held about half an ounce of a murky blue fluid.
-
-"So this is all there is anywhere, as far as I know," he revealed.
-"It's the juice of a kind of lichen that grew on the planetoid. I
-stopped there last month looking for minerals, and I took some of the
-lichen along just to see what it was. I didn't know then. I distilled
-this on the way back and threw out the lichen, so this is all--"
-
-"--there is," I finished for him, a bit impatiently. "But what is it?
-And if there isn't any more, what good can it do us?"
-
-"Your laboratories can synthesize things, can't they? Yes, I know it's
-an expensive process, but this stuff is very concentrated and a little
-goes a long way. So, even if it did cost quite a bit to make, just
-think of the--"
-
-"But get to the point, Mr. O'Graeme. What _is_ it?"
-
-"Uh--I've named it 'Breath of Beelzebub'. You put a drop of it in
-water, and--oh, boy! You don't even drink the water. The gas works
-through your skin. Osmosis, or something. I found it out accidentally."
-
- * * * * *
-
-I frowned at him. "What do you mean 'Oh, boy!'? If you've read anything
-about our policies, you know that we discourage the use of strong
-intoxicants. Ever since the Martian uprising ten years ago, we've been
-promoting beers, ales and Venusian klorah, and weaning drinks away from
-anything stronger. What effect does this have?"
-
-O'Graeme took the stopper out of the vial and set it carefully upright
-on my desk.
-
-"It works without water, too," he said. "But it's less efficient this
-way. One drop in water is more potent than a whole vial plain. Feel it?"
-
-I did, before he even finished speaking. My hands were resting on
-the desk and it began there, and worked its way up my arms--a warm
-throbbing glow of sensation that was unlike anything I'd ever felt
-before. Must have gone right through clothing, for it reached my
-shoulders and started up my neck and down my body from there.
-
-It was a mildly pleasant tingling--until it reached my head. Then
-suddenly I realized that it was more than pleasant. It was--well, it
-just wasn't like anything I'd ever felt before. A feeling of utter
-happiness is the nearest I can come to describing it, although it was
-only partly that.
-
-I knew that I hadn't a care in the system worth worrying about. I
-knew that it didn't matter the least bit whether or not I got those
-figures co-ordinated for Mr. Ames. If he fired me for not doing them,
-so what? Wasn't I going to marry his daughter--Margie Amelita Ames? You
-can bet your last rocket charge I was, and if he or that fat, snooty,
-dictatorial wife of his objected, I'd just tell them to--
-
-O'Graeme with the bulging green eyes, picked up the vial and carefully
-replaced the stopper. He was smiling. He started to say, "Well, what do
-you--"
-
-I stood up, and leaned forward across the desk. "Slane, ol' bosom pal
-of mine," I said, "You've _got_ something there. Listen, why let a
-stuffed shirt like Fleming Ames in on it? I'll handle it for you. I'll
-make us _millions_."
-
-Slane O'Graeme looked at me and frowned a little. "Ummm," he said
-skeptically. "I'm sure you mean well, Mr. Dineen, but hadn't you better
-wait until you get over feeling--"
-
-"Feeling what?" I demanded. "I assure you, palsy, that I'm not in the
-slightest upset--"
-
-"Have you a laboratory, like Mr. Ames'? Can you synthesize--"
-
-I waved a hand airily. "Laboratory? Don't need one for something simple
-as that. I studied chemistry in high school, and I assure you, pal,
-that I can quite easily--"
-
-O'Graeme shook his head slowly. "I've tried this stuff often, Mr.
-Dineen, and I'm used to it, but I see that you--Perhaps I'd better come
-back tomorrow evening instead of--"
-
-"And lose a whole day?" I scoffed. "Why, we'll be rich by then. Come
-on, palsy. Let's go back and join Fleming Ames' dinner party. I want
-you to meet Margie Ames. The old folks don't know it yet, but Margie
-and I are engaged. Besides," I added with a sly grin, winking at him,
-"there is a tank full of mermaids back there that'll knock your eyes
-out. It cost a fortune to have them brought in from Mercury."
-
-I took O'Graeme by the arm and propelled him out into the long
-corridor. The Polaroid glass walls of the huge building looked down
-upon the great City of Mars with its network of shuttle-car tubes, the
-'copter landings and--We passed a section of wall that opened onto the
-sky parkway and a draft of cold fresh air hit me. I stopped suddenly.
-
-"Whew!" I said, closing my eyes and then opening them again slowly.
-"Say, I've been talking like a--Will you please forget everything I've
-said?"
-
-The little guy grinned. "I discounted it. I've been there myself. The
-first time I tried it--on my way back to Mars--I put three drops in
-_water_, and I radioed on ahead to tell them that I was buying the
-whole fleet of Interplanetary, and to get me an option on--"
-
-"Listen," I cut in soberly. "I _will_ take you back to Mr. Ames,
-though, dinner party or not. Unless he objects because it's too
-potent, I'm sure he'll be interested if we demonstrate. What's a safe
-dose--nothing like the one I just had?"
-
-"One drop, if it's a large room. Mild exhilaration and release from
-care. You had about the equivalent of two drops in water; delusions of
-grandeur, if you'll pardon my--"
-
-"Sure," I grinned. We'd been walking and were almost back to the big
-drawing-room where Fleming Ames would be entertaining his dinner
-guests. "What happens if you use--not that I'm suggesting it--four or
-five drops?"
-
-"Partial dissociation of personality, and with six or seven drops,
-you might find yourself in the body of whoever happens to be in the
-room with--" His voice trailed off absently and his green-tinted eyes
-actually popped as we stepped through the doorway.
-
-He gulped. "You--you really _meant_ that about--"
-
-"The mermaids?" I laughed as he fumbled in his pocket and brought out
-the vial to make sure the stopper was on tight. "Sure. You needn't have
-discounted _that_, my friend!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-I led him to the glowing, plexiglass tank in the center of the room. It
-was a drum-like affair, about five feet high and eight in diameter;
-complete with bright green sea weed and a glittering red cave-like
-shelter of Mercurian coral.
-
-But that wasn't what we were looking at, nor the dozens of goldfish
-that swam merrily about the coral and bumped their snouts against
-the plexiglass sides of the tank. It was the ten tiny mermaids that
-crowded around the coral base, wiggling gracefully toward us one by one
-to stare at us staring at them.
-
-They were much like the fabled marine creatures I'd read about on
-Earth, only smaller--like little dolls--and far more beautiful than
-those imaginative ancients ever dreamed of.
-
-From the waist up they were pocket-editions of perfectly-formed girls.
-Their eyes were amber, with the sparkle of a coquette, their hair
-luxuriantly long and golden. Silver nails tipped each tiny finger
-and the silver was repeated in the gleaming scales which covered the
-tapering lower half of the graceful bodies.
-
-O'Graeme peered in delighted fascination at the strange sight.
-"Fantastic!" he breathed.
-
-"Stupendous!" I corrected. "Aren't they honeys?"
-
-Just then the dinner party filed in from the adjoining room. I caught
-Mr. Ames' eye, and he gave me the nod. So I introduced Slane O'Graeme.
-Besides Mr. Ames and his wife and Margie, there were three guests,
-Roger Wescott, Interplanetary Transport magnate, and his wife, and
-Senator B. Peerpont Weems.
-
-Fleming Ames turned the little vial over in his hands and examined it
-frowningly. "You say, Bill, that the effect is a mild and pleasant
-exhilaration?"
-
-I smiled. "Well, Mr. Ames, it was more than mild, but then I got an
-overdose, I suppose. There was no physical incoordination, though.
-Just mental stimulus. I had a momentary inclination to--" I paused--it
-didn't seem wise to tell my employer just what that momentary
-inclination had been.
-
-Mr. Ames carefully uncorked the vial. "Well," he said, "I guess, if
-you've tried it and found it safe we'll give it a group test. Try it as
-an after-dinner cordial. Anyone mind?"
-
-He glanced about the huge air-cushioned divans and lounging chairs
-where the guests were comfortably settled. Both Mr. Wescott and Senator
-Weems nodded approvingly.
-
-Mrs. Ames stiffened in her overstuffed chair and said a bit tensely,
-"Fleming, I simply will not tolerate--" But Margie put a hand on her
-mother's arm and said, "Now, Mother, don't be a spoilsport. I'm sure
-Bill wouldn't let Dad try it if it wasn't all right."
-
-I smiled at Margie gratefully.
-
-Then Mr. Ames turned toward the mermaid tank behind him, and Slane
-O'Graeme said quickly, "Be careful, Mr. Ames. Don't drop--"
-
-And then it happened.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The opened vial slipped from the liquor magnate's hand as he lifted it
-over the rim on the tank. It hit the top of the water with a soft plop,
-sank and struck the coral with a faint clink. Diffusion in the water
-must have been almost instantaneous; it was light blue throughout even
-before the vial hit bottom.
-
-I heard a low exclamation from O'Graeme, and then he yelped excitedly,
-"Quick, everyone, get out of--" His voice trailed off there and a
-beatific expression came over his face. I was only a bit farther from
-the tank than he, and it hit me almost at the same time.
-
-It was the same sensation I had experienced in my office. Not much
-stronger, but far more sudden and complete.
-
-My eyes were still on the mermaid tank, and I thought for an instant
-that it was empty, that the mermaids and goldfish had mysteriously
-vanished into nothingness. Then a pair of golden streaks, faintly
-visible, followed by the flash of a mermaid's body, showed me my error.
-
-Suddenly it came to me: This was the time to tell Mrs. Ames about
-wanting to marry Margie. Now! Tell her, and tell her to go to Jupiter
-if she didn't like it.
-
-I whirled around, and paused aghast. Mrs. Ames was slumped down in
-her chair, and her eyes were vacuous. Her mouth was wide open and
-her fat arms were making wriggling motions as though her hands were
-flippers and she was trying to swim. She looked like a fish out of
-water--certainly _not_ like a mermaid.
-
-Slowly, I turned back to O'Graeme. I grabbed his arm and he looked up,
-obviously startled. "Listen," I said. "What did you say an overdose of
-this Breath of Beelzebub would do?"
-
-His popping green eyes opened wide. "Why, darling," he said, "how
-should _I_ know? And how did I get over here?"
-
-I sort of swayed on my feet and closed my eyes. I was looking down at a
-bald-headed little man, and hearing Slane O'Graeme's voice, but--but--
-
-It couldn't be! I opened my eyes and looked across the tank at Margie
-Ames. My Margie. Her beautiful blue eyes were wide with astonishment
-and she was staring down at her own arms and hands in the blankest
-sort of bewilderment. Then she looked up and caught my eye and said,
-"Mr. Dineen, what the devil--Didn't I tell you that six or seven drops
-would--"
-
-I shook my head and closed my eyes again. And something seemed to
-slip. I didn't open them, but they were open just the same, and all I
-was seeing was a blur of motion and I seemed to be going in circles
-through something wet and blue. I got dizzy and tried to close my eyes
-again, but they wouldn't close. But I did manage to stop moving--and
-I shuddered, and the shudder wasn't because the water in the tank was
-cold.
-
-A beautiful young woman, with long flowing hair of gold, swam by. But
-she didn't have any clothes on and where her legs should have been
-there was the tail of a fish. I thought suddenly here was my chance to
-kiss a mermaid, but she flung some sea weed in my face and ducked into
-what looked like a cave.
-
-I tried to look out of the tank, but everything was distorted and I
-couldn't make out much. I could hear sounds as though several people
-were talking at once, but the sounds, too, were distorted and I
-couldn't make out what was being said.
-
-I tried to groan and found I couldn't do that, either. And that made
-me, strangely, want to giggle. And, oddly enough, I _was_ giggling.
-
-Then someone was saying, "_Stop_ that!" and shaking my shoulder and it
-didn't seem to be wet and cold any more. My shoulder was bare, and the
-hand hurt and I looked up, and suddenly a nursery song of long ago that
-I'd heard in my childhood came back to me and I started to sing, "I
-fwam and I fwam right over the--" until the shock of hearing my voice
-come out a rich throaty contralto made me stop and bring my eyes into
-focus.
-
-And I was looking up at myself leaning over me, and the other I was
-saying in my voice, "Listen, I'm Margie Ames, and I'm curious to know
-who is in my body."
-
-"I'm Bill," I said. "What in the--"
-
-"Bill!" she cut in. "Where _were_ you? This Mr. O'Graeme (he's over in
-Senator Weems right now) was explaining what happened and we took a
-roll-call and you weren't around."
-
-I closed my eyes (or Margie's eyes) again. I should have had it by
-then, but I was still confused. Coming down the hallway, O'Graeme had
-told me that four or five drops of the fluid, in water, would cause
-"partial dissociation of personality." More than that would make it
-complete. And Mr. Ames had dropped the whole vial into the mermaid tank!
-
-"It's temporary," Margie said. "We change around every few minutes or
-so and it'll all come out right when the stuff wears off, but--"
-
-I was looking down at my--temporary--shapely arms and bare shoulders,
-and I started to chuckle. Suddenly--possibly it was the realization
-that whatever was happening was temporary--I began to see the humor
-of the situation. It isn't funny unexpectedly to find oneself in the
-body of a goldfish. But it _had_ been a rare experience--and I'd almost
-kissed a mermaid!
-
-I said, "This is a beautiful dress we have on, Margie."
-
- * * * * *
-
-She blushed and stamped her big foot on my dainty little open-toed
-slipper. "Bill!" she wailed. "How could you? _You_ of all people! It
-isn't decent! It--it's--"
-
-And then the funny side of it struck her too, and we were both laughing
-like a couple of lunatics. I saw she was waving my arms around in glee.
-I sobered up a moment, and warned, "Be careful of that watch-candid on
-your--my--wrist. It set me back a hundred credits."
-
-I stood up and looked around. And my scope of interest widened as I
-found myself in the center of a lot of confusion.
-
-Roger Wescott, the Interplanetary Transport magnate, was chasing
-his mouse-like wife around the mermaid tank. She ran past me with a
-frightened look on her face and I grabbed Wescott's arm.
-
-"Look, Wescott," I said. "Isn't that a bit--"
-
-He grinned at me. "That's Mrs. Ames, and she's down to the size now
-where I can give her the spanking I've always wanted--" He jerked and I
-let go his arm. If anyone wanted to spank Mrs. Ames while the spanking
-was good, he had my blessing.
-
-When they came around again, I yelled, "But who are you?"
-
-He winked and didn't answer and that was enough of a tip-off. There are
-times when a confidential secretary shouldn't even pretend to recognize
-his boss.
-
-I turned back to see if I was still standing beside myself, and I was,
-so I said, "Listen, Margie--"
-
-My voice interrupted, "Margie? I thought _you_ were Miss Ames. I'm
-O'Graeme. I was going to say--"
-
-I grabbed myself by the lapels. "See here, O'Graeme," I said. "Are you
-_sure_ this is all right? I mean, everybody seems to be having lots of
-fun, but what if we get stuck this way? And, listen, can't everyone
-just walk out of range of that stuff? It must affect only a given area."
-
-He grinned my best grin. "I suggested it. But nobody _wants_ to. Do
-you?"
-
-I hadn't thought about it before, but I didn't. I looked across to
-where Mr. Ames was lying on the floor trying to make like a mermaid,
-and then I glanced at the tank and wondered who was in there, for nine
-little mermaids were trying to get away from the tenth one!
-
-And I began to howl with laughter. No, not for a million credits would
-I want to walk out on a party like this. Even if it cost me my job, and
-I was beginning to have a hunch it would.
-
-[Illustration: _Not for a million credits would I walk out on a party
-like this!_]
-
-Then I had an idea that it might be fun to stir the water in the
-mermaid tank and see what--I started toward it and nearly fell over a
-chair. The chair hadn't been there before and I saw I was facing in the
-opposite direction than the one I'd started out, so I muttered, "What
-the--" and looked down and recognized my own suit, my own hands, and
-my own watch-candid on my wrist.
-
-I was back home!
-
-Just me, or everyone? No, Mr. Ames was still trying to wiggle his way
-across the floor, and at one end of the divan Mrs. Ames was smoking a
-big black Venusian cigar.
-
-Senator B. Peerpont Weems--or was it?--banged me on the shoulder and
-said, "Some fun, huh? Nobody knows who's who, so nobody can--" He
-glanced across my shoulder and grinned and started to move past me. I
-looked back and saw Margie's cute little French maid coming in from the
-dining room. Her eyes were wide with amazement--and then I saw her face
-go blank for a moment. So she'd gone under, too!
-
-I grabbed the senator's arm--or was it the senator?--as he tried to
-pass me, and warned, "Hey, none of that. What if it's Mrs. Ames?" and
-he shuddered, and started the other way.
-
-Mr. Ames was starting to get up from the floor. I saw him gazing down
-at himself with blank bewilderment, and then he looked across at me.
-"What ees thees?" he asked.
-
-I grinned and turned to O'Graeme--I think it was O'Graeme. "A newcomer
-in our midst," I said, jerking a thumb toward Mr. Ames. "Better explain
-things to her before she takes her turn in the tank, or she's in for a
-worse shock."
-
-I didn't want to bother with explanations myself, because I'd just
-remembered my watch-candid. It could take fifty pictures without
-reloading, and I had a reload in my pocket, if I stayed inside my own
-coat long enough to use it. It was a Undex B-29, the kind that can
-photograph the inside of your hat by starlight.
-
-Margie came up and touched my arm and said, "Bill?" I nodded, and she
-said, "This is me. Kiss me quick while we have a chance."
-
-It was a proposition I'd never turn down, but I'll admit I looked a bit
-scared when I put my arms around her and complied.
-
-She grinned impishly. "Sure, darling, Mother and Dad are probably
-looking, but so what? For all they know it's Mr. Wescott kissing the
-maid or your Slane O'Graeme making love to a mermaid, or the Senator--"
-
-When her lips were free again, she said, "Bill, I took some shots on
-your candid before, when I--when I had the chance. Some of them are
-wows, too! Look, quick! Don't miss that!"
-
-I laughed, and swung the candid around to get the shot.
-
- * * * * *
-
-When I awoke it was ten o'clock, but I felt as though I'd had one
-hour's sleep instead of six. At four o'clock in the morning, I'd left
-Mr. Ames talking to Slane O'Graeme. And when Mr. Ames had said he'd
-want to talk to me in the morning, I'd already kissed my job goodbye.
-
-The first thing I wanted to do was destroy those all-too-candid shots.
-But I wanted to develop them and have a look-see first. Maybe there'd
-be one or two mild ones it would be safe to take along as souvenirs.
-
-I was taking the last of the positives out of the acid when there was a
-knock on my door, and I said, "Come in."
-
-Mr. Ames, wearing a lounging robe, pushed through the door. I made a
-mental note to look in the mirror later to see if my face looked as bad
-as his. But, surprisingly, he grinned at me and sat down on the edge of
-the bed.
-
-"What a night!" he sighed. "But--"
-
-"But never again," I finished for him. "Yeah, I feel the same way. That
-stuff would have been dynamite to turn loose on the natives."
-
-He nodded gloomily. "I suppose so, but--Well, it was my fault it's all
-gone. There isn't a trace left for analysis, and because it was my
-fault, I gave O'Graeme his price for it. Somehow I liked the little
-cuss. What're you doing?"
-
-"Look," I said, and passed him the quick-drying rack.
-
-He stared from one to another of the shots, and gulped. Then he stared
-some more and his face turned red, then pale.
-
-"Bill," he said, "do you know these photographs would be worth a
-million credits to my enemies, and those of Wescott and the Senator? I
-hope you're not thinking of--"
-
-I shook my head firmly. "Just developed them out of curiosity. I'm
-destroying them right now, and the films, too. Then if you say so, I'll
-leave."
-
-I took the pictures back and started to tear them up.
-
-"Leave? Oh, you think I--" He laughed at the gloomy expression on my
-face. "Now that you mention it, Bill, you _are_ leaving. I've had you
-in mind for the Venusian Branch. We need a good man there to get things
-organized. You're taking over on the first."
-
-I had another picture in my hand to tear up, but my heart was making
-flip-flops. Manager of the Venusian Branch! Why, that meant I'd be able
-to offer Margie a real home!
-
-"Uh--Mr. Ames," I said, "Margie and I are in love. We want to get
-married."
-
-He shrugged, his face suddenly gloomy. "Margie's told me that, Bill.
-But her mother--Well, you're not blind. You know how much say so
-I--Hey, don't tear _those_ up!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-The yell was so sudden and unexpected that I jumped and dropped the
-rack from which I'd been peeling the pictures while we talked. I'd torn
-up only a few.
-
-Fleming Ames picked up the rack, his eyes gleaming. He looked it over
-eagerly and picked off four pictures. I walked around to see which they
-were, and grinned as I suddenly understood.
-
-One was Mrs. Ames seated with her feet on the coffee table smoking
-a big black cigar. Another was Mrs. Ames, her hair in wild disarray
-and her mouth open, trying to swim across the room. A third was Mrs.
-Ames--but why go into details?
-
-"Bill," said Mr. Ames, his face happier than I'd ever seen it before,
-"your wedding day is next Saturday. And that's from a man who
-knows--from the present and future boss of the Ames household. And you
-can take my new space-cruiser for your honeymoon."
-
-He stood up and stuck out his hand and I shook it.
-
-"And Bill," he added wistfully. "If you should stop on any planetoids,
-and see any peculiar-looking species of lichen--"
-
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