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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #63870 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/63870)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook, A Southern Woman's Story, by Phœbe Yates
-Pember
-
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-
-Title: A Southern Woman's Story
-
-
-Author: Phœbe Yates Pember
-
-
-
-Release Date: November 24, 2020 [eBook #63870]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-
-***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SOUTHERN WOMAN'S STORY***
-
-
-E-text prepared by Quentin Campbell and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net) from page images generously made
-available by the Google Books Library Project (https://books.google.com)
-
-
-
-Note: Images of the original pages are available through
- the Google Books Library Project. See
- https://books.google.com/books?id=3wY_aZZT_9cC&hl=en
-
-
-Transcriber’s note:
-
- Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_).
-
- Small capitals in the original text have been transcribed as
- ALL CAPITALS.
-
- See the end of this document for details of corrections and
- changes.
-
-
-
-
-
-A SOUTHERN WOMAN’S STORY
-
-by
-
-PHŒBE YATES PEMBER,
-
-
-[Illustration – Carleton & Co. colophon – Arabic calligraphy
-meaning ‘book’]
-
-
-
-
-
-
-New York:
-Copyright, 1879, by
-G. W. Carleton & Co., Publishers.
-London: S. Low, Son & Co.
-MDCCCLXXIX.
-
- Samuel Stodder, Trow
- Stereotyper, Printing and Book Binding Co.
-90 Ann Street, N. Y. N. Y.
-
-
-
-
- _Whatsoever is beginning that is done by human skill,
- Every daring emanation of the mind’s imperfect will;
- Every first impulse of passion, gush of love or twinge of hate;
- Every launch upon the waters, wide horizoned by our fate;
- Every venture in the chances of life’s sad, aye, desperate game;
- Whatsoever be our object, whatsoever be our aim—
- ’Tis well we cannot see
- What the end will be._
-
-
-
-
- CONTENTS.
- ——————
-
- PAGE
-
- _Introduction—Women of the South—Startling Proposition—First
- Appearance on any Stage—Petticoat Government—Dull, but
- necessary Details—Initiation—“Great Oaks from little Acorns
- grow”—Partnership with Jim—A First Venture—“A Rose by any
- other name,” &c.—Snubbed—His Mammy’s Soup—Dissolved Partnership
- with Jim—Explanations—Routine—Mr. Jones’ Views—“Sufficient for
- the Day,” &c.—Introduction of Hero—Introduction of Hero, The
- Whiskey Barrel—The Hero Captured—Jones’ Indignation,_ 11
-
- _Wanted, A Dose of Grammar—Our Daily Trials—The Ishmaelite—Mrs.
- Marthy Brown’s Son—A Circular Letter—My First Proposal—
- Compliments—More flattering than agreeable—Compliments again—
- Love unto Death—The Silver Cord loosened—A Sweet Pur-ta-a-tur-r
- —Sober Ladies wanted—Delicate Sensibilities—More of them—Free
- and Equal American Servant Ladies—Sociable Spittoon—Possession
- Nine and Half Points of Law—Vi et armis—Spirit of ’63—Not “A
- Ministering Angel, thou”—Work—First Essay—Results—Where the
- Weary are at Rest—“An only Son, and my Mother a Widow,”_ 30
-
- _Home Cares and Affections—If not my Son, then another Mother’s—
- Sacred Feelings and bad Grammar—Sad Letters—Virginians—Antagonism
- —The wicked Marylanders—Troublesome Customers—Good Wine needs no
- Bush—Annoyances—Woman’s Wit wins—The Flesh-pots of Egypt,_ 60
-
- _Anxieties—No Hope in this World—Dead,_ 73
-
- _State Peculiarities and Differences—Tar-Heel Tastes—Babies even
- give up Milk—Our Little Romance—Loved and Lost,_ 76
-
- _The Conquering Hero comes again—The Hero again—Rats, Hopeless
- Inebriates—What Constitutes a Lady?—The Hero again,—and again—
- Military Law Declared—Five Minutes’ Grace—The Tables Turned
- —Concise, but not Clear—A Storm Brewing—Diplomatic Correspondence
- —Confusion of Tenses—How History is made—Non-intervention—Amende,_ 82
-
- _Sadness and Doubts—Sorrow and Privation—No Change—Educated Rats—Rat
- Surgeon—Novel Style of catching them,_ 98
-
- _No Personal Animosities—The Bitter Blood—A Common Sight—A
- Looking-Glass Wanted—Vaccination—Prisoners of War—Unwelcome
- Visitors—An Unexpected Gathering—Counterchecks—Checkmated—
- Unexpected and Unwelcome Visitor—What shall I do with it?—As
- Godmother—Home-Sickness,_ 104
-
- _Spring Operations—Unpleasant Truths—Cast your bread upon the
- waters—Draw the Vail down—A Common Story—A Strange Experience—“We
- left him alone in his Glory”—Intense Anxiety—Saved,_ 119
-
- _Itinerary Labors—A Rose by any other Name—Not among the
- Compliments—New Uses for the Bible—Camp Fashions—Life was so
- Sweet—Difficult Responsibilities—Failures—Erin-go-bragh—Whiskey_
- versus _Religion,_ 127
-
- _My Furlough—Off—A Strong-Minded Failure—A Hard Road to Travel—
- Services not Required—Friend to the “Faymales”—A Bold Attempt—
- None but the Fair deserve the Brave—Importance of hair-pins—
- Another Attempt—Frightened at last—All’s Well that ends Well—
- Up-Country Georgia Eloquence—General Desolation—A Woman has an
- Opinion—Beaten at Last—One of our Future Presidents—Compromises,_ 137
-
- _Comparisons—Entire Resumption—Christmas Festivities—Discussions
- regarding the Hero—Scribbled Eggs and Flitters—Un-chewable Food,_ 156
-
- _Culinary Mortifications—Pickles_ versus _Homespun,_ 161
-
- _Beginning of the End—Agitations—History—Picture of the Times—The
- Departure—Burning of the City—Last Scenes—Taking Possession—
- Entrance of the Federal Army—Occupation of the City—Amusements
- Furnished—Wicked Ingratitude—Circus and Pictorial Food—
- Distinguished Visitors—Miracles—Left “alone in my glory”—Hero
- re-appears—Noli me tangere—Victory Perches on my Banner—
- Confederate Full Dress—Casus belli—The Law of Nations—Liberty or
- Death—At Last!—The Mother of States—My Thanks—And Gratitude,_ 163
-
- _The End,_ 191
-
-
-[Illustration – Decorative scroll work at top of page]
-
-
-
-
- A
-
- SOUTHERN WOMAN’S STORY.
-
-
- _Introduction._
-
-Soon after the breaking out of the Southern war, the need of hospitals,
-properly organized and arranged, began to be felt, and buildings
-adapted for the purpose were secured by government. Richmond, being
-nearest the scene of action, took the lead in this matter, and the
-formerly hastily contrived accommodations for the sick were soon
-replaced by larger, more comfortable and better ventilated buildings.
-
-The expense of keeping up small hospitals had forced itself upon the
-attention of the surgeon-general, Moore, who on that account gradually
-incorporated them into half-a-dozen immense establishments, strewn
-around the suburbs. These were called Camp Jackson, Camp Winder,
-Chimborazo Hospital, Stuart Hospital and Howard Grove; and were
-arranged so that from thirty to forty wards formed a division, and
-generally five divisions a hospital. Each ward accommodated from thirty
-to forty patients, according to the immediate need for space. Besides
-the sick wards, similar buildings were used for official purposes, for
-in these immense establishments every necessary trade was carried on.
-There were the carpenter’s, blacksmith’s, apothecary’s and shoemaker’s
-shops; the ice houses, commissary’s and quartermaster’s departments;
-and offices for surgeons, stewards, baggage-masters and clerks. Each
-division was furnished with all these, and each hospital presented to
-the eye the appearance of a small village.
-
-There was no reason why, with this preparation for the wounded and
-sick, that they should not have received all the benefit of good
-nursing and food; but soon rumors began to circulate that there was
-something wrong in hospital administration, and Congress, desirous of
-remedying omissions, passed a law by which matrons were appointed.
-They had no official recognition, ranking even below stewards from
-a military point of view. Their pay was almost nominal from the
-depreciated nature of the currency. There had been a great deal of
-desultory visiting and nursing, by the women, previous to this law
-taking effect, resulting in more harm than benefit to the patients; and
-now that the field was open, a few, very few ladies, and a great many
-inefficient and uneducated women, hardly above the laboring classes,
-applied for and filled the offices.
-
-
- _Women of the South._
-
-The women of the South had been openly and violently rebellious from
-the moment they thought their States’ rights touched. They incited the
-men to struggle in support of their views, and whether right or wrong,
-sustained them nobly to the end. They were the first to rebel—the
-last to succumb. Taking an active part in all that came within their
-sphere, and often compelled to go beyond this when the field demanded
-as many soldiers as could be raised; feeling a passion of interest in
-every man in the gray uniform of the Confederate service; they were
-doubly anxious to give comfort and assistance to the sick and wounded.
-In the course of a long and harassing war, with ports blockaded and
-harvests burnt, rail tracks constantly torn up, so that supplies of
-food were cut off, and sold always at exorbitant prices, no appeal was
-ever made to the women of the South, individually or collectively, that
-did not meet with a ready response. There was no parade of generosity;
-no published lists of donations, inspected by public eyes. What was
-contributed was given unostentatiously, whether a barrel of coffee or
-the only half bottle of wine in the giver’s possession.
-
-
- _Startling Proposition._
-
-About this time one of these large hospitals was to be opened,
-and the wife of the then acting secretary of war offered me the
-superintendence—rather a startling proposition to a woman used to all
-the comforts of luxurious life. Foremost among the Virginia women, she
-had given her resources of mind and means to the sick, and her graphic
-and earnest representations of the benefit a good and determined
-woman’s rule could effect in such a position settled the result in
-my mind. The natural idea that such a life would be injurious to
-the delicacy and refinement of a lady—that her nature would become
-deteriorated and her sensibilities blunted, was rather appalling. But
-the first step only costs, and that was soon taken.
-
-
- _First Appearance on any Stage._
-
-A preliminary interview with the surgeon-in-chief gave necessary
-confidence. He was energetic—capable—skillful. A man with ready oil
-to pour upon troubled waters. Difficulties melted away beneath the
-warmth of his ready interest, and mountains sank into mole-hills when
-his quick comprehension had surmounted and leveled them. However
-troublesome daily increasing annoyances became, if they could not be
-removed, his few and ready words sent applicants and grumblers home
-satisfied to do the best they could. Wisely he decided to have an
-educated and efficient woman at the head of his hospital, and having
-succeeded, never allowed himself to forget that fact.
-
-
- _Petticoat Government._
-
-The day after my decision was made found me at “headquarters,” the
-only two-story building on hospital ground, then occupied by the
-chief surgeon and his clerks. He had not yet made his appearance that
-morning, and while awaiting him, many of his corps, who had expected in
-horror the advent of female supervision, walked in and out, evidently
-inspecting me. There was at that time a general ignorance on all
-sides, except among the hospital officials, of the decided objection
-on the part of the latter to the carrying out of a law which they
-prognosticated would entail “petticoat government;” but there was no
-mistaking the stage-whisper which reached my ears from the open door
-of the office that morning, as the little contract surgeon passed out
-and informed a friend he met, in a tone of ill-concealed disgust, that
-“_one of them had come_.”
-
-
- _Dull, but necessary Details._
-
-To those not acquainted with hospital arrangements, some explanations
-are necessary. To each hospital is assigned a surgeon-in-chief.
-To each _division_ of the hospital, a surgeon in charge. To each
-_ward_ of the division, an assistant surgeon. But when the press
-of business is great, contract doctors are also put in charge of
-wards. The surgeon-in-chief makes an inspection each day, calling a
-board of inferior surgeons to make their report to him. The surgeon
-in charge is always on the ground, goes through the wards daily,
-consulting with his assistants and reforming abuses, making his
-report daily to the surgeon-in-chief. The assistant surgeon has only
-his one or two wards to attend, passing through them twice each day
-and prescribing. In cases of danger he calls in the surgeon in charge
-for advice or assistance. The contract surgeons performed the same
-duties as assistant surgeons, but ranked below them, as they were not
-commissioned officers and received less pay. Each ward had its corps
-of nurses, unfortunately not practised or expert in their duties, as
-they had been sick or wounded men, convalescing and placed in that
-position,—however ignorant they might be,—till strong enough for
-field duty. This arrangement bore very hard upon all interested, and
-harder upon the sick, as it entailed constant supervision and endless
-teaching; but the demand for men in the field was too imperative to
-allow those who were fit for their duties there to be detained for
-nursing purposes, however skillful they may have become.
-
-Besides these mentioned, the hospital contained an endless horde
-of stewards and their clerks; surgeons’ clerks; commissaries and
-their clerks; quartermasters and clerks; apothecaries and clerks;
-baggage-masters; forage-masters; wagon-masters; cooks; bakers;
-carpenters; shoemakers; ward-inspectors; ambulance-drivers; and many
-more; forgotten hangers-on, to whom the soldiers gave the name of
-“hospital rats” in common with would-be invalids who resisted being
-cured from a disinclination to field service. They were so called,
-it is to be supposed, from the difficulty of getting rid of either
-species. Still, many of them were physically unfit for the field.
-
-
- _Initiation._
-
-Among these conflicting elements, all belittled at a time of general
-enthusiasm by long absence from the ennobling influences of military
-service, and all striving with rare exceptions to gain the small
-benefits and rare comforts so scarce in the Confederacy, I was
-introduced that day by the surgeon in charge. He was a cultivated,
-gentlemanly man, kind-hearted when he remembered to be so, and very
-much afraid of any responsibility resting upon his shoulders. No
-preparations had been made by him for his female department. He
-escorted me into a long, low, whitewashed building, open from end to
-end, called for two benches, and then, with entire composure, as if
-surrounding circumstances were most favorable, commenced an æsthetic
-conversation on _belles lettres_, female influence, and the first,
-last and only novel published during the war. (It was a translation of
-_Joseph the Second_, printed on gray and bound in marbled wall-paper.)
-A neat compliment offered at leave-taking rounded off the interview,
-with a parting promise from him to send me the carpenter to make
-partitions and shelves for office, parlor, laundry, pantry and kitchen.
-The steward was then summoned for consultation, and my representative
-reign began.
-
-
- “_Great Oaks from little Acorns grow._”
-
-A stove was unearthed; very small, very rusty, and fit only for a
-family of six. There were then about six hundred men upon the matron’s
-diet list, the illest ones to be supplied with food from my kitchen,
-and the convalescents from the steward’s, called, in contra-distinction
-from mine, “the big kitchen.” Just then my mind could hardly grope
-through the darkness that clouded it, as to what were my special
-duties, but one mental spectrum always presented itself—_chicken soup_.
-
-
- _Partnership with Jim._
-
-Having vaguely heard of requisitions, I then and there made my first,
-in very unofficial style. A polite request sent through “Jim” (a small
-black boy) to the steward for a pair of chickens. They came instantly
-ready dressed for cooking. Jim picked up some shavings, kindled up the
-stove, begged, borrowed or stole (either act being lawful to his mind),
-a large iron pot from the big kitchen. For the first time I cut up with
-averted eyes a raw bird, and the Rubicon was passed.
-
-My readers must not suppose that this picture applies generally to
-all our hospitals, or that means and appliances so early in the war
-for food and comfort, were so meagre. This state of affairs was only
-the result of accident and some misunderstanding. The surgeon of my
-hospital naturally thought I had informed myself of the power vested
-in me by virtue of my position, and, having some experience, would use
-the rights given me by the law passed in Congress, to arrange my own
-department; and I, on reading the bill, could only understand that the
-office was one that dovetailed the duties of housekeeper and cook,
-nothing more.
-
-
- _A First Venture._
-
-In the meantime the soup was boiling, and was undeniably a success,
-from the perfume it exhaled. Nature may not have intended me for a
-Florence Nightingale, but a kitchen proved my worth. Frying-pans,
-griddles, stew-pans and coffee-pots soon became my household gods. The
-niches must have been prepared years previously, invisible to the naked
-eye but still there.
-
-Gaining courage from familiarity with my position, a venture across the
-lane brought me to the nearest ward (they were all separate buildings,
-it must be remembered, covering a half mile of ground in a circle, one
-story high, with long, low windows opening back in a groove against the
-inside wall), and, under the first I peeped in, lay the shadow of a man
-extended on his bed, pale and attennuated.
-
-What woman’s heart would not melt and make itself a home where so much
-needed?
-
-His wants were inquired into, and, like all the humbler class of men,
-who think that unless they have been living on hog and hominy they are
-starved, he complained of not having eaten anything “for three mortal
-weeks.”
-
-
- “_A Rose by any other name,” &c._
-
-In the present state of the kitchen larder, there was certainly not
-much of a choice, and I was as yet ignorant of the capabilities of the
-steward’s department. However, soup was suggested, as a great soother
-of “misery in his back,” and a generous supply of adjectives prefixed
-for flavor—“nice, hot, good chicken soup.” The suggestion was received
-kindly. If it was very nice he would take some: “he was never, though,
-much of a hand for drinks.” My mind rejected the application of words,
-but matter not mind, was the subject under consideration.
-
-All my gastronomic experience revolted against soup without the sick
-man’s parsley; and Jim, my acting partner, volunteered to get some at a
-mysterious place he always called “The Dutchman’s,” so at last, armed
-with a bowl full of the decoction, duly salted, peppered, and seasoned,
-I again sought my first patient.
-
-
- _Snubbed._
-
-He rose deliberately—so deliberately that I felt sensible of the great
-favor he was conferring. He smoothed his tangled locks with a weak
-hand, took a piece of well-masticated tobacco from between three or
-four solitary teeth, but still the soup was unappropriated, and it
-appeared evident that some other preliminaries were to be arranged.
-The novelty of my position, added to a lively imagination, suggested
-fears that he might think it necessary to arise for compliment sake;
-and hospital clothing being made to suit the scarcity and expense of
-homespun, the idea was startling. But my suspense did not continue
-long; he was only seeking for a brown-covered tract hid under his
-pillow.
-
-Did he intend to read grace before meat? No, he simply wanted a
-pocket-handkerchief, which cruel war had denied; so without comment a
-leaf was quietly abstracted and used for that purpose. The result was
-satisfactory, for the next moment the bowl was taken from my hand, and
-the first spoonful of soup transmitted to his mouth.
-
-It was an awful minute! My fate seemed to hang upon the fiat of that
-uneducated palate. A long painful gulp, a “judgmatical” shake of the
-head, _not_ in the affirmative, and the bowl traveled slowly back to my
-extended hand.
-
-
- _His Mammy’s Soup._
-
-“My mammy’s soup was not like that,” he whined. “But I might worry a
-little down if it war’n’t for them _weeds_ a-floating round.”
-
-Well! why be depressed? There may not after all be any actual
-difference between weeds and herbs.
-
-After that first day improvements rapidly progressed. Better stoves,
-and plenty of them, were put up; closets enclosed; china or its
-substitutes, pottery and tin, supplied. I learned to make requisitions
-and to use my power. The coffee, tea, milk, and all other luxuries
-provided for the sick wards, were, through my demand, turned over to
-me; also a co-laborer with Jim, that young gentleman’s disposition
-proving to be like my old horse, who pulled well and steadily in single
-harness, but when tried in double team, left all the hard work to the
-last comer. However, honor to whom honor is due. He gave me many hints
-which my higher intelligence had overlooked, comprehended by him more
-through instinct than reason, and was as clever at gathering trophies
-for my kitchen as Gen. Butler was—for other purposes.
-
-
- _Dissolved Partnership with Jim._
-
-Still my office did not rise above that of chief cook, for I dared not
-leave my kitchen unattended for a moment, till Dr. M., one day, passing
-the window, and seeing me seated on a low bench peeling potatoes,
-appeared much surprised, and inquired where my cooks were. Explanations
-followed, a copy of hospital rules were sent for, and authority found
-to provide the matron’s department with suitable attendants. A gentle,
-sweet-tempered lady, extremely neat and efficient, was appointed
-assistant matron, also three or four cooks and bakers. Jim and his
-companion were degraded into drawers of water and hewers of wood; that
-is to say, these ought to have been their duties, but their occupation
-became walking gentlemen. On assuming their out-door labors, their
-allegiance to me ceased, and the trophies which formerly swelled my
-list of dainties for the sick were nightly carried “down the hill,”
-where everything that was missed disappeared.
-
-
- _Explanations._
-
-Then began the routine of hospital life in regular order. Breakfast
-at seven in the morning in summer and eight in winter. Coffee, tea,
-milk, bread of various kinds, and butter or molasses, and whatever
-meats could be saved from the yesterday’s dinner. This was in the first
-year of the war. Afterwards we were not able to be so luxurious. The
-quantity supplied would be impartially divided among the wards with the
-retention of the delicacies for the very ill men.
-
-The ward-masters with their nurses gathered three times a day, for each
-meal, around my office window adjoining the kitchen, with large wooden
-trays and piles of plates, waiting to receive the food, each being
-helped in turn to a fair division. If an invalid craved any particular
-dish the nurse mentioned the want, and if not contrary to the surgeon’s
-order, it, or its nearest approximation was allowed him.
-
-
- _Routine._
-
-After breakfast the assistant surgeons visited their respective wards,
-making out their diet lists, or rather filling them up, for the forms
-were printed, and only the invalid’s name, number of his bed, and his
-diet—light, half, or full, were required to be specified, also the
-quantity of whiskey desired for each. Dinner and supper served in the
-same way, except for the very sick. They had what they desired, in or
-out of season, and all seemed to object to the nutriment concocted from
-those tasteless and starchy compounds of wheat, corn and arrowroot,
-that are so thick and heavy to swallow, and so little nutritious. They
-were served hot from the fire, or congealed from the ice (for after
-the suffering caused from the deprivation of ice the first summer of
-the war was felt, each hospital built its own ice-house, which was
-well filled by the next season). At two o’clock the regular dinner
-of poultry, beef, ham, fish and vegetables, was distributed. (After
-the first year our bill of fare decreased much in variety.) Supper at
-six. The chief matron sat at her table, the diet lists arranged before
-her, each day, and managed so that no especial ward should invariably
-be the first served, although they were named in alphabetical order.
-Any necessary instructions of the surgeons were noted and attended
-to, sometimes accompanied with observations of her own, not always
-complimentary to those gentlemen, nor prudent as regarded herself.
-
-
- _Mr. Jones’ Views._
-
-The orders ran somewhat in this fashion: “Chicken soup for twenty—beef
-tea for forty—tea and toast for fifty.” A certain Mr. Jones had
-expressed his abhorrence of tea and toast, so I asked the nurse why he
-gave it to him.
-
-He answered that the diet was ordered by the surgeon, but Jones said he
-would not touch it, for he never ate slops, and so he had eaten nothing
-for two days.
-
-“Well, what does he wish?”
-
-“The doctor says tea and toast” (reiterating his first remark).
-
-“Did you tell the doctor he would not eat it?”
-
-“_I_ told the doctor, and _he_ told the doctor.”
-
-“Perhaps he did not hear, or understand you.”
-
-“Yes, he did. He only said that he wanted that man particularly to have
-tea and toast, though I told him Jones threw it up regularly; so he put
-it down again, and said Jones was out of his head, and Jones says the
-doctor is a fool.”
-
-My remark upon this was that Jones could not be so very much out of his
-head—an observation that entailed subsequent consequences. The habit
-so common among physicians when dealing with uneducated people, of
-insisting upon particular kinds of diet, irrespective of the patient’s
-tastes, was a peculiar grievance that no complaint during four years
-ever remedied.
-
-
- “_Sufficient for the Day,” &c._
-
-Although visiting my wards in the morning for the purpose of speaking
-words of comfort to the sick, and remedying any apparent evils which
-had been overlooked or forgotten by the surgeons when going their
-rounds, the fear that the nourishment furnished had not suited the
-tastes of men debilitated to an extreme not only by disease and wounds,
-but also by the privations and exposures of camp life, would again take
-me among them in the afternoon. Then would come heart-sickness and
-discouragement, for out of a hundred invalids, seventy, on an average,
-would assert that they had not taken any nourishment whatever. This
-was partly owing to habit or imitation of others, and partly to the
-human desire to enlist sympathy. The common soldier has a horror of a
-hospital, and with the rejection of food comes the hope that weakness
-will increase proportionally, and a furlough become necessary.
-
-Besides, the human palate, to relish good food, must be as well
-educated as other organs for other purposes. Who appreciates a good
-painting until his eye is trained, or fine harmony until the ear is
-cultivated?—and why should not the same rule apply to tongue and
-taste? Men who never before had been sick, or swallowed those starchy,
-flavorless compounds young surgeons are so fond of prescribing,
-repudiated them invariably, in spite of my skill in making them
-palatable. They were suspicious of the _terra incognita_ from which
-they sprang, having had no experience heretofore, and suspicion always
-engenders disgust.
-
-
- _Introduction of Hero._
-
-Daily inspection too, convinced me that great evils still existed under
-my rule, in spite of my zealous care for my patients. For example, the
-monthly barrel of whiskey which I was entitled to draw still remained
-at the dispensary under the guardianship of the apothecary and his
-clerks, and quarts and pints were issued through any order coming from
-surgeons or their substitutes, so that the contents were apt to be
-gone long before I was entitled to draw more, and my sick would suffer
-for want of the stimulant. There were many suspicious circumstances
-connected with this _institution_; for the monthly barrel was an
-institution and a very important one. Indeed, if it is necessary to
-have a hero for this matter-of-fact narrative the whiskey barrel will
-have to step forward and make his bow.
-
-
- _Introduction of Hero—The Whiskey Barrel._
-
-So again I referred to the hospital bill passed by Congress, which
-provided that liquors in common with other luxuries, belonged to the
-matron’s department, and in an evil moment, such an impulse as tempted
-Pandora to open the fatal casket assailed me, and I despatched the
-bill, flanked by a formal requisition for the liquor. An answer came
-in the shape of the head surgeon. He declared I would find “the charge
-most onerous,” that “whiskey was required at all hours, sometimes in
-the middle of the night, and even if I remained at the hospital, he
-would not like me to be disturbed,” “it was constantly needed for
-medicinal purposes,” “he was responsible for its proper application;”
-but I was not convinced, and withstood all argument and persuasion. He
-was proverbially sober himself, but I was aware why both commissioned
-and non-commissioned officers opposed violently the removal of the
-liquor to my quarters. So, the printed law being at hand for reference,
-I nailed my colors to the mast, and that evening all the liquor was in
-my pantry and the key in my pocket.
-
-
- _The Hero Captured._
-
-The first restraints of a woman’s presence had now worn away, and the
-thousand miseries of my position began to make themselves felt. The
-young surgeons (not all gentlemen, although their profession should
-have made them aspirants to the character), and the nurses played
-into each other’s hands. If the former were off on a frolic, the
-latter would conceal the absence of necessary attendance by erasing
-the date of the diet list of the day before, and substituting the
-proper one, duplicating the prescription also, and thus preventing
-inquiry. In like manner the assistant surgeons, to whom the nurses
-were alone responsible, would give them leave of absence, concealing
-the fact from the head surgeon, which could easily be effected; then
-the patients would suffer, and complaints from the matron be obnoxious
-and troublesome, and also entirely out of her line of business.
-She was to be cook and housekeeper, and nothing more. Added now to
-other difficulties was the dragonship of the Hesperides,—the guarding
-of the liquefied golden fruit to which access had been open to a
-certain extent before her reign,—and for many, many months the petty
-persecutions endured from all the small fry around almost exceeded
-human patience to bear. What the surgeon in charge could do to mitigate
-the annoyances entailed he conscientiously did; but with the weight of
-a large hospital on his not very strong mind, and very little authority
-delegated to him, he could hardly reform abuses or punish silly
-attacks, so small in the abstract, so great in the aggregate.
-
-
- _Jones’ Indignation._
-
-The eventful evening when Mr. Jones revolted against tea and toast,
-my unfortunate remark intended for no particular ear but caught by
-the nurse, that the patient’s intellects could not be confused if
-he called his surgeon a fool, brought forth a recriminating note to
-me. It was from that maligned and incensed gentleman, and proved the
-progenitor of a long series of communications of the same character;
-a family likeness pervading them all. They generally commenced with
-“Dr. —— presents his compliments to the chief matron,” continuing with
-“Mrs. —— and I,” and ending with “you and him.” They were difficult to
-understand, and more difficult to endure. Accustomed to be treated with
-extreme deference and courtesy by the highest officials connected with
-the government, moving in the same social grade I had always occupied
-when beyond hospital bounds, the change was appalling.
-
-
- _Wanted.—A Dose of Grammar._
-
-The inundation of notes that followed for many months could not have
-been sent back unopened, the last refuge under the circumstances, for
-some of them might have related to the well-being of the sick. My pen
-certainly was ready enough, but could I waste my thunderbolts in such
-an atmosphere?
-
-The depreciated currency, which purchased only at fabulous prices
-by this time; the poor pay the government (feeling the necessary of
-keeping up the credit of its paper) gave to its officials; the natural
-craving for luxuries that had been but common food before the war,
-caused appeals to be made to me, sometimes for the applicant, oftener
-for his sick wife or child, so constantly, that had I given even
-one-tenth of the gifts demanded there would have been but little left
-for my patients.
-
-
- _Daily Trials._
-
-It was hard to refuse, for the plea that it was not mine but merely
-a charge confided to me, was looked upon as a pretext; outsiders
-calculating upon the quantity issued to my department and losing sight
-of the ownership of the quantity received.
-
-Half a dozen convalescent men would lose their tasteless dinner daily
-at the steward’s table, and beg for “anything,” which would mean
-turkey and oysters. Others “had been up all night and craved a cup
-of coffee and a roll,” and as for diseases among commissioned and
-non-commissioned men, caused by entire destitution of whiskey, and only
-to be cured by it—their name was legion. Every pound of coffee, every
-ounce of whiskey, bushel of flour or vegetables duly weighed before
-delivery, was intended for its particular consumers; who, if they even
-could not eat or drink what was issued for them watched their property
-zealously, and claimed it too. So what had I to give away?
-
-
- _The Ishmaelite._
-
-The necessity of refusing the live-long day, forced upon naturally
-generous tempers, makes them captious and uncivil, and under the
-pressure the soft answer cannot be evoked to turn away wrath. Demands
-would increase until they amounted to persecutions when the refusals
-became the rule instead of the exception, and the breach thus made grew
-wider day by day, until “my hand was against every man, and every man’s
-hand against me.”
-
-Besides, there was little gratitude felt in a hospital, and certainly
-none expressed. The mass of patients were uneducated men, who had lived
-by the sweat of their brow, and gratitude is an exotic plant, reared
-in a refined atmosphere, kept free from coarse contact and nourished
-by unselfishness. Common natures look only with surprise at great
-sacrifices and cunningly avail themselves of the benefits they bestow,
-but give nothing in return,—not even the satisfaction of allowing the
-giver to feel that the care bestowed has been beneficial; _that_ might
-entail compensation of some kind, and in their ignorance they fear the
-nature of the equivalent which might be demanded.
-
-
- _Mrs. Marthy Brown’s Son._
-
-Still, pleasant episodes often occurred to vary disappointments and
-lighten duties.
-
-“Kin you writ me a letter?” drawled a whining voice from a bed in one
-of the wards, a cold day in ’62.
-
-The speaker was an up-country Georgian, one of the kind called
-“Goubers” by the soldiers generally; lean, yellow, attennuated, with
-wispy strands of hair hanging over his high, thin cheek-bones. He put
-out a hand to detain me and the nails were like claws.
-
-“Why do you not let the nurse cut your nails?”
-
-“Because I aren’t got any spoon, and I use them instead.”
-
-“Will you let me have your hair cut then? You can’t get well with all
-that dirty hair hanging about your eyes and ears.”
-
-“No, I can’t git my hair cut, kase as how I promised my mammy that I
-would let it grow till the war be over. Oh, it’s onlucky to cut it!”
-
-“Then I can’t write any letter for you. Do what I wish you to do, and
-then I will oblige you.”
-
-This was plain talking. The hair was cut (I left the nails for another
-day), my portfolio brought, and sitting by the side of his bed I waited
-for further orders. They came with a formal introduction,—“for Mrs.
-Marthy Brown.”
-
-
- _A Circular Letter._
-
-“My dear Mammy:
-
-“I hope this finds you well, as it leaves me well, and I hope that I
-shall git a furlough Christmas, and come and see you, and I hope that
-you will keep well, and all the folks be well by that time, as I hopes
-to be well myself. This leaves me in good health, as I hope it finds
-you and——”
-
-But here I paused, as his mind seemed to be going round in a circle,
-and asked him a few questions about his home, his position during the
-last summer’s campaign, how he got sick, and where his brigade was
-at that time. Thus furnished with some material to work upon, the
-latter proceeded rapidly. Four sides were conscientiously filled, for
-no soldier would think a letter worth sending home that showed any
-blank paper. Transcribing his name, the number of his ward and proper
-address, so that an answer might reach him—the composition was read to
-him. Gradually his pale face brightened, a sitting posture was assumed
-with difficulty (for, in spite of his determined effort in his letter
-“to be well,” he was far from convalescence). As I folded and directed
-it, contributed the expected five-cent stamp, and handed it to him, he
-gazed cautiously around to be sure there were no listeners.
-
-
- _My First Proposal._
-
-“Did you writ all that?” he asked, whispering, but with great emphasis.
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Did _I_ say all that?”
-
-“I think you did.”
-
-A long pause of undoubted admiration—astonishment ensued. What was
-working in that poor mind? Could it be that Psyche had stirred one of
-the delicate plumes of her wing and touched that dormant soul?
-
-“Are you married?” The harsh voice dropped very low.
-
-“I am not. At least, I am a widow.”
-
-He rose still higher in bed. He pushed away desperately the tangled
-hay on his brow. A faint color fluttered over the hollow cheek, and
-stretching out a long piece of bone with a talon attached, he gently
-touched my arm and with constrained voice whispered mysteriously:
-
-“You wait!”
-
-And readers, I _am_ waiting still; and I here caution the male portion
-of creation who may adore through their mental powers, to respect my
-confidence, and not seek to shake my constancy.
-
-
- _Compliments._
-
-Other compliments were paid me, perhaps not of so conclusive a nature,
-and they were noticeable from their originality and novelty, but they
-were also rare. Expression was not a gift among the common soldiers.
-“You will wear them little feet away,” said a rough Kentuckian,
-“running around so much. They ar’n’t much to boast of anyway.” Was not
-this as complimentary as the lover who compared his mistress’s foot to
-a dream; and much more comprehensible?
-
-
- _More flattering than agreeable._
-
-At intervals the lower wards, unused except in times of great need, for
-they were unfurnished with any comforts, would be filled with rough
-soldiers from camp, sent to recuperate after field service, who may
-not have seen a female face for months; and though generally too much
-occupied to notice them much, their partly concealed, but determined
-regard would become embarrassing. One day, while directing arrangements
-with a ward-master, my attention was attracted by the pertinacious
-staring of a rough-looking Texan. He walked round and round me in
-rapidly narrowing circles, examining every detail of my dress, face,
-and figure; his eye never fixing upon any particular part for a moment
-but traveling incessantly all over me. It seemed the wonder of the mind
-at the sight of a new creation. I moved my position; he shifted his to
-suit the new arrangement—again a change was made, so obviously to get
-out of his range of vision, that with a delicacy of feeling that the
-roughest men always treated me with, he desisted from his inspection so
-far, that though his person made no movement, his neck twisted round to
-accommodate his eyes, till I supposed some progenitor of his family had
-been an owl. The men began to titter, and my patience became exhausted.
-
-
- _Compliments again._
-
-“What is the matter, my man? Did you never see a woman before?”
-
-“Jerusalem!” he ejaculated, not making the slightest motion towards
-withdrawing his determined notice, “I never did see such a nice one.
-Why, you’s as pretty as a pair of red shoes with green strings.”
-
-These were the two compliments laid upon the shrine of my vanity during
-four years’ contact with thousands of patients, and I commit them to
-paper to stand as a visionary portrait, to prove to my readers that
-a woman with attractions similar to a pair of red shoes with green
-strings must have some claim to the apple of Paris.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Love unto Death._
-
-Scenes of pathos occurred daily—scenes that wrung the heart and forced
-the dew of pity from the eyes; but feeling that enervated the mind and
-relaxed the body was a sentimental luxury that was not to be indulged
-in. There was too much work to be done, too much active exertion
-required, to allow the mental or physical powers to succumb. They were
-severely taxed each day. Perhaps they balanced, and so kept each other
-from sinking. There was, indeed, but little leisure to sentimentalize,
-the necessity for action being ever present.
-
-After the battle of Fredericksburg, while giving small doses of brandy
-to a dying man, a low, pleasant voice, said “Madam.” It came from a
-youth not over eighteen years of age, seeming very ill, but so placid,
-with that earnest, far-away gaze, so common to the eyes of those who
-are looking their last on this world. Does God in his mercy give a
-glimpse of coming peace, past understanding, that we see reflected in
-the dying eyes into which we look with such strong yearning to fathom
-what they see? He shook his head in negative to all offers of food or
-drink or suggestions of softer pillows and lighter covering.
-
-“I want Perry,” was his only wish.
-
-On inquiry I found that Perry was the friend and companion who marched
-by his side in the field and slept next to him in camp, but of whose
-whereabouts I was ignorant. Armed with a requisition from our surgeon,
-I sought him among the sick and wounded at all the other hospitals.
-I found him at Camp Jackson, put him in my ambulance, and on arrival
-at my own hospital found my patient had dropped asleep. A bed was
-brought and placed at his side, and Perry, only slightly wounded, laid
-upon it. Just then the sick boy awoke wearily, turned over, and the
-half-unconscious eye fixed itself. He must have been dreaming of the
-meeting, for he still distrusted the reality. Illness had spiritualized
-the youthful face; the transparent forehead, the delicate brow so
-clearly defined, belonged more to heaven than earth. As he recognized
-his comrade the wan and expressionless lips curved into the happiest
-smile—the angel of death had brought the light of summer skies to that
-pale face. “Perry,” he cried, “Perry,” and not another word, but with
-one last effort he threw himself into his friend’s arms, the radiant
-eyes closed, but the smile still remained—he was dead.
-
-
- _The Silver Cord loosened._
-
-There was but little sensibility exhibited by soldiers for the fate
-of their comrades in field or hospital. The results of war are here
-to-day and gone to-morrow. I stood still, spell-bound by that youthful
-death-bed, when my painful revery was broken upon by a drawling voice
-from a neighboring bed, which had been calling me by such peculiar
-names or titles that I had been oblivious to whom they were addressed.
-
-
- _A Sweet Pur-ta-a-tur-r._
-
-“Look here. I say, Aunty!—Mammy!—You!” Then, in despair,
-“Missus! Mauma! Kin you gim me sich a thing as a b’iled sweet
-pur-r-rta-a-a-tu-ur? I b’long to the Twenty-secun’ Nor’ Ka-a-a-li-i-na
-rigiment.” I told the nurse to remove his bed from proximity to his
-dead neighbor, thinking that in the low state of his health from fever
-the sight might affect his nerves, but he treated the suggestion with
-contempt.
-
-“Don’t make no sort of difference to _me_; they dies all around _me_ in
-the field—don’t trouble _me_.”
-
-The wounded men at this time began to make serious complaints that the
-liquor issued did not reach them, and no vigilance on my part appeared
-to check the improper appropriation of it, or lead to any discovery of
-the thieves in the wards. There were many obstacles to be surmounted
-before proper precautions could be taken. Lumber was so expensive
-that closets in each ward were out of the question, and if made locks
-could not be purchased for any amount of money. The liquor, therefore,
-when it left my quarters, was open to any passer-by in the wards
-who would watch his opportunity; so, although I had strong and good
-reasons for excluding female nurses, the supposition that liquor would
-be no temptation to them, and would be more apt to reach its proper
-destination through their care, determined me to engage them.
-
-Unlucky thought, born in an evil hour!
-
-
- _Sober Ladies wanted._
-
-There were no lack of applications when the want was circulated, but
-my choice hesitated between ladies of education and position, who I
-knew would be willing to aid me, and the common class of respectable
-servants. The latter suited best, because it was to be supposed they
-would be more amenable to authority. They were engaged, and the
-very sick wards divided among three of them. They were to keep the
-bed-clothing in order, receive and dispense the liquor, carry any
-delicacy in the way of food where it was most needed, and in fact do
-anything reasonable that was requested. The last stipulation was dwelt
-upon strongly. The next day my new corps were in attendance, and the
-different liquors, beverages and stimulants delivered to them under the
-black looks of the ward-masters. No. 1 received hers silently. She was
-a cross-looking woman from North Carolina, painfully ugly, or rather
-what is termed hard-featured, and apparently very taciturn; the last
-quality rather an advantage. She had hardly left my kitchen when she
-returned with all the drinks, and a very indignant face.
-
-
- _Delicate Sensibilities._
-
-In reply to inquiries made she proved her taciturnity was not chronic.
-She asserted loudly that she was a decent woman, and “was not going
-anywhere in a place where a man sat up on his bed in his shirt, and
-the rest laughed—she knew they were laughing at her.” The good old
-proverb that talking is silver but silence is gold had impressed itself
-on my mind long before this, so I silently took her charge from her,
-telling her that a hospital was no place for a person of her delicate
-sensibilities, and at the same time holding up Miss G. and myself (who
-were young enough to be her daughters), as examples for her imitation.
-
-She answered truly that we acted as we pleased and so would she; and
-that was the last I saw of her. What her ideas of hospital life were I
-never inquired, and shall never know.
-
-
- _More of them._
-
-No. 2 came briskly forward. She was a plausible, light-haired,
-light-eyed and light-complexioned Englishwoman; very petite, with
-a high nose. She had come to the hospital with seven trunks, which
-ought to have been a warning to me, but she brought such strong
-recommendations from responsible parties that they warped my judgment.
-She received the last trust handed her—an open pitcher of hot
-punch—with averted head, nose turned aside, and held it at arm’s length
-with a high disdain mounted upon her high nose. Her excuse for this
-antipathy was that the smell of liquor was “awful,” she “could not
-a-bear it,” and “it turned her witals.” This was rather suspicious, but
-we deferred judgment.
-
-
- _Free and Equal American Servant Ladies._
-
-Dinner was distributed. No. 2 appeared, composed, vigilant and
-attentive to her duties, carrying her delicacies of food to her wards
-with the assistance of the nurses. No. 3, an inoffensive woman did the
-same, and all worked well. That afternoon, when I had retired to my
-little sanctum to take the one hour’s rest that I allowed myself each
-day undisturbed, Miss G. put her head in the door with an apprehensive
-look and said, “the new matrons wished to see me.” They were admitted,
-and my high-nosed friend, who had been elected spokeswoman it seems,
-said after a few preliminaries, with a toss of her head and a couple of
-sniffs that I “seemed to have made myself very comfortable.”
-
-
- _Sociable Spittoon._
-
-This was assented to graciously. She added that other people were
-not, who were quite as much entitled to _style_. This also remained
-undisputed, and then she stated her real grievance, that they “were
-not satisfied, for I had not invited them to call upon me, or into
-my room,” and “they considered themselves quite as much ladies as I
-was.” I answered I was glad to hear it, and hoped they would always
-act as ladies should, and in a way suitable to the title. There was
-an evident desire on her part to say more, but she had not calculated
-upon the style of reception, and therefore was thrown out beyond her
-line of action, so she civilly requested me to call and inspect their
-quarters that they were dissatisfied with. An hour later I did so,
-and found them sitting around a sociable spittoon, with a friendly
-box of snuff—dipping! I found it impossible to persuade them that
-the government was alone responsible for their poor quarters, they
-persisted in holding me answerable.
-
-
- _Possession Nine and Half Points of Law._
-
-The next day, walking through one of the wards under No. 2’s charge,
-I found a part of the building, of about eight to ten feet square,
-portioned off, a roughly improvised plank partition dividing this
-temporary room from the rest of the ward. Seated comfortably therein
-was the new matron, entrenched among her trunks. A neat table and
-comfortable chair, abstracted from my few kitchen appurtenances,
-added to her comforts. Choice pieces of crockery, remnants of more
-luxurious times, that had at one time adorned my shelves, were disposed
-tastefully around, and the drinks issued by me for the patients were
-conveniently placed at her elbow. She explained that she kept them
-there to prevent thefts. Perhaps the nausea communicated from their
-neighborhood had tinted the high nose higher, and there was a defiant
-look about her, as if she sniffed the battle afar.
-
-It was very near though, and had to be fought, however disagreeable, so
-I instantly entered into explanations, short, but polite. Each patient
-being allowed, by law, a certain number of feet, every inch taken
-therefrom was so much ventilation lost, and the abstraction of as much
-space as she had taken for illegal purposes was a serious matter, and
-conflicted with the rules that governed the hospital. Besides this, no
-woman was allowed to stay in the wards, for obvious reasons.
-
-No. 2, however, was a sensible person, for she did not waste _her_
-breath in talking; she merely held her position. An appeal made by me
-to the surgeon of the ward did not result favorably; he said I had
-engaged her, she belonged to my corps, and was under my supervision: so
-I sent for the steward.
-
-
- _Vi et Armis._
-
-The steward of a hospital cannot define exactly what his duties are,
-the difficulty being to find out what they are not. Whenever it has to
-be decided who has to fill a disagreeable office, the choice invariably
-falls upon the steward. So a message was sent to his quarters to
-request him to compel No. 2 to evacuate her hastily improvised
-premises. He hesitated long, but engaging at last the services of his
-assistant, a broad-shouldered fighting character, proceeded to eject
-the new tenant.
-
-He commenced operations by polite explanations; but they were met in a
-startling manner. She arose and rolled up her sleeves, advancing upon
-him as he receded down the ward. The sick and wounded men roared with
-laughter, cheering her on, and she remained mistress of the field.
-Dinner preparations served as an interlude and silently suppressed, she
-as usual made her entrée into the kitchen, received the drinks for her
-ward and vanished. Half an hour elapsed and then the master of the ward
-in which she had domiciled herself made his report to me, and recounted
-a pitiful tale. He was a neat quiet manager, and usually kept his
-quarters beautifully clean. No. 2, he said, divided the dinner, and
-whenever she came across a bone in hash or stew, or indeed anything
-therein displeased her, she took it in her fingers and dashed it upon
-the floor. With so little to make a hospital gay, this peculiar episode
-was a god-send to the soldiers, and indeed to all the lookers on. The
-surgeons stood laughing, in groups, the men crowded to the windows of
-the belligerent power, and a _coup-d’etat_ became necessary.
-
-
- _Spirit of ’63._
-
-“Send me the carpenter!” I felt the spirit of Boadicea. The man stepped
-up; he had always been quiet, civil and obedient.
-
-“Come with me into Ward E.”
-
-A few steps took us there.
-
-“Knock down that partition and carry away those boards.” It was _un
-fait accompli_.
-
-But the victory was not gained, only the fortifications stormed and
-taken, for almost hidden by flying splinters and dust, No. 2 sat among
-her seven trunks enthroned like Rome upon her seven hills.
-
-
- _Not “A Ministering Angel, Thou.”_
-
-The story furnishes no further interest, but the result was very
-annoying. She was put into my ambulance very drunk by this time and
-sent away, her trunks sent after her. The next day, neatly dressed,
-she managed to get an interview with the medical director, enlisted
-his sympathy by a plausible appeal and description of her desolate
-condition. “A refugee,” or “refewgee,” as she called herself, “trying
-to make her living decently,” and receiving an order to report at our
-hospital, was back there by noon. Explanations had to be written, and
-our surgeon-in-chief to interfere with his authority, before we could
-get rid of her.
-
-
- _Work._
-
-About this time (April, 1863), an attack on Drewry’s Bluff, which
-guarded Richmond on the James river side, was expected, and it was
-made before the hospital was in readiness to receive the wounded. The
-cannonading could be heard distinctly in the city, and dense smoke
-descried rising from the battle-field. The Richmond people had been too
-often, if not through the wars at least within sight and hearing of its
-terrors, to feel any great alarm.
-
-The inhabitants lying in groups, crowded the eastern brow of the
-hill above Rocketts and the James river; overlooking the scene, and
-discussing the probable results of the struggle; while the change from
-the dull, full boom of the cannon to the sharp rattle of musketry could
-be easily distinguished. The sun was setting amidst stormy, purple
-clouds; and when low upon the horizon sent long slanting rays of yellow
-light from beneath them, athwart the battle scene, throwing it in
-strong relief. The shells burst in the air above the fortifications at
-intervals, and with the aid of glasses dark blue masses of uniforms
-could be distinguished, though how near the scene of action could
-not be discerned. About eight o’clock the slightly wounded began to
-straggle in with a bleeding hand, or contused arm or head, bound up in
-any convenient rag.
-
-Their accounts were meagre, for men in the ranks never know anything
-about general results—they almost always have the same answer ready,
-“We druv ’em nowhere.”
-
-In another half-hour, vehicles of all kinds crowded in, from a
-wheelbarrow to a stretcher, and yet no orders had been sent me to
-prepare for the wounded. Few surgeons had remained in the hospital;
-the proximity to the field tempting them to join the ambulance
-committee, or ride to the scene of action; and the officer of the day,
-left in charge, naturally objected to my receiving a large body of
-suffering men with no arrangements made for their comfort, and but few
-in attendance. I was preparing to leave for my home at the Secretary
-of the Navy, where I returned every night, when the pitiful sight of
-the wounded in ambulances, furniture wagons, carts, carriages, and
-every kind of vehicle that could be impressed detained me. To keep
-them unattended to, while being driven from one full hospital to
-another, entailed unnecessary suffering, and the agonized outcry of a
-desperately wounded man to “take him in, for God’s sake, or kill him,”
-decided me to countermand the order of the surgeon in charge that
-“they must be taken elsewhere, as we had no accommodations prepared.”
-I sent for him, however. He was a kind-hearted, indolent man, but
-efficient in his profession, and a gentleman; and seeing my extreme
-agitation, tried to reason with me, saying our wards were full, except
-a few vacant and unused ones, which our requisitions had failed to
-furnish with proper bedding and blankets. Besides, a large number of
-the surgeons were absent, and the few left would not be able to attend
-to all the wounds at that late hour of the night. I proposed in reply
-that the convalescent men should be placed on the floor on blankets,
-or bed-sacks filled with straw, and the wounded take their place, and,
-purposely construing his silence into consent, gave the necessary
-orders, eagerly offering my services to dress simple wounds, and
-extolling the strength of my nerves.
-
-
- _First Essay._
-
-He let me have my way (may _his_ ways be of pleasantness and his paths
-of peace), and so, giving Miss G. orders to make an unlimited supply of
-coffee, tea, and stimulants, armed with lint, bandages, castile soap,
-and a basin of warm water, I made my first essays in the surgical line.
-I had been spectator often enough to be skillful. The first object that
-needed my care was an Irishman. He was seated upon a bed with his hands
-crossed, wounded in both arms by the same bullet. The blood was soon
-washed away, wet lint applied, and no bones being broken, the bandages
-easily arranged.
-
-“I hope that I have not hurt you much,” I said with some trepidation.
-“These are the first wounds that I ever dressed.”
-
-“Sure they be the most illegant pair of hands that ever touched me, and
-the lightest,” he gallantly answered. “And I am all right now.”
-
-
- _Results._
-
-From bed to bed till long past midnight, the work continued.
-Fractured limbs were bathed, washed free from blood and left to the
-surgeon to set. The men were so exhausted by forced marches, lying
-in entrenchments and loss of sleep that few even awoke during the
-operations. If aroused to take nourishment or stimulant they received
-it with closed eyes, and a speedy relapse into unconsciousness. The
-next morning, but few had any recollection of the events of the night
-previous.
-
-There were not as many desperate wounds among the soldiers brought in
-that night as usual. Strange to say, the ghastliness of wounds varied
-much in the different battles, perhaps from the nearness or distance of
-contending parties. One man was an exception and enlisted my warmest
-sympathy. He was a Marylander although serving in a Virginia company.
-There was such strength of resignation in his calm blue eye.
-
-
- _Where the Weary are at Rest._
-
-“Can you give me a moment?” he said.
-
-“What shall I do for you?”
-
-“Give me some drink to revive me, that I do not die before the surgeon
-can attend to me.”
-
-His pulse was strong but irregular, and telling him that a stimulant
-might induce fever, and ought only to be administered with a doctor’s
-prescription, I inquired where was he wounded.
-
-Right through the body. Alas!
-
-The doctor’s dictum was, “No hope: give him anything he asks for;” but
-five days and nights I struggled against this decree, fed my patient
-with my own hands, using freely from the small store of brandy in my
-pantry and cheering him by words and smiles. The sixth morning on my
-entrance he turned an anxious eye on my face, the hope had died out
-of his, for the cold sweat stood in beads there, useless to dry, so
-constantly were they renewed.
-
-
- “An only Son, and my Mother a widow.”
-
-What comfort could I give? Only silently open the Bible, and read to
-him without comment the ever-living promises of his Maker. Glimpses
-too of that abode where the “weary are at rest.” Tears stole down his
-cheek, but he was not comforted.
-
-“I am an only son,” he said, “and my mother is a widow. Go to her, if
-you ever get to Baltimore, and tell her that I died in what I consider
-the defense of civil rights and liberties. I may be wrong. God alone
-knows. Say how kindly I was nursed, and that I had all I needed. I
-cannot thank you, for I have no breath, but we will meet up there.” He
-pointed upward and closed his eyes, that never opened again upon this
-world.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Home Cares and Affections._
-
-Earlier than this, while hospitals were still partly unorganized,
-soldiers were brought in from camp or field, and placed in divisions
-of them, irrespective of rank or state; but soon the officers had more
-comfortable quarters provided apart from the privates, and separate
-divisions were also appropriated to men from different sections of the
-country.
-
-There were so many good reasons for this change that explanations
-are hardly necessary. Chief among them, was the ease through which,
-under this arrangement, a man could be found quickly by reference
-to the books of each particular division. Schedules of where the
-patients of each State were quartered were published in the daily
-papers, and besides the materials furnished by government, States, and
-associations, were thus enabled to send satisfactory food and clothing
-for private distribution. Thus immense contributions, coming weekly
-from these sources, gave great aid, and enabled us to have a reserved
-store when government supplies failed.
-
-To those cognizant of these facts, it appeared as if the non-fighting
-people of the Confederacy had worked as hard and exercised as much
-self-denial as the soldiers in the field. There was an indescribable
-pathos lurking at times at the bottom of these heterogeneous home
-boxes, put up by anxious wives, mothers and sisters; a sad and
-mute history shadowed forth by the sight of rude, coarse homespun
-pillow-cases or pocket handkerchiefs, adorned even amid the turmoil of
-war and poverty of means with an attempt at a little embroidery, or a
-simple fabrication of lace for trimming.
-
-
- _If not my Son—then another Mother’s._
-
-The silent tears dropped over these tokens will never be sung in song
-or told in story. The little loving expedients to conceal the want
-of means which each woman resorted to, thinking that if her loved
-one failed to benefit by the result, other mothers might reap the
-advantage, is a history in itself.
-
-Piles of sheets, the cotton carded and spun in the one room at home
-where the family perhaps lived, ate, and slept in the backwoods
-of Georgia; bales of blankets called so by courtesy, but only the
-drawing-room carpets, the pride of the heart of thrifty housewives,
-perhaps their only extravagance in better days, but now cut up for
-field use. Dozens of pillow slips, not of the coarse product of the
-home loom, which would be too harsh for the cheek of the invalid,
-but of the fine bleached cotton of better days, suggesting personal
-clothing sacrificed to the sick. Boxes of woolen shirts, like Joseph’s
-many-colored coat, created from almost every dressing-gown or flannel
-skirt in the country.
-
-
- _Sacred feelings and bad grammar._
-
-A thousand evidences of the loving care and energetic labor of the
-poor, patient ones at home, telling an affecting story that knocked
-hard at the gates of the heart, were the portals ever so firmly closed;
-and with all these came letters written by poor ignorant ones who often
-had no knowledge of how such communications should be addressed.
-
-These letters, making inquiries concerning patients from anxious
-relatives at home, directed oftener to my office than my name, came
-in numbers, and were queer mixtures of ignorance, bad grammar, worse
-spelling and simple feeling. However absurd the style, the love that
-filled them chastened and purified them. Many are stored away, and
-though irresistibly ludicrous, are too sacred to print for public
-amusement.
-
-In them could be detected the prejudices of the different sections.
-One old lady in upper Georgia wrote a pathetic appeal for a furlough
-for her son. She called me “My dear sir,” while still retaining my
-feminine address, and though expressing the strongest desire for her
-son’s restoration to health, entreated in moving accents that if his
-life could not be saved, that he should not be buried in “Ole Virginny
-_dirt_,”—rather a derogatory term to apply to the sacred soil that gave
-birth to the presidents—the soil of the Old Dominion.
-
-
- _Sad letters._
-
-Almost all of these letters told the same sad tale of destitution of
-food and clothing, even shoes of the roughest kind being either too
-expensive for the mass or unattainable by the expenditure of any sum,
-in many parts of the country. For the first two years of the war,
-privations were lightly dwelt upon and courageously borne, but when
-want and suffering pressed heavily as times grew more stringent, there
-was a natural longing for the stronger heart and frame to bear part
-of the burden. Desertion is a crime that meets generally with as much
-contempt as cowardice, and yet how hard for the husband or father to
-remain inactive in winter quarters, knowing that his wife and little
-ones were literally starving at home—not even _at home_, for few homes
-were left.
-
-
- _Virginians._
-
-Our hospital had till now (the summer of 1863), been appropriated to
-the Gulf States, when an order was issued to transfer and make it
-entirely Virginian. The cause of this change was unknown, but highly
-agreeable, for the latter were the very best class of men in the
-field; intelligent, manly, and reasonable, with more civilized tastes
-and some desire to conform to rules that were conducive to their
-health. Besides this, they were a hardier race, and were more inclined
-to live than die,—a very important taste in a hospital,—so that when
-the summer campaigns were over, the wards would be comparatively empty.
-The health of the army improved wonderfully after the first year’s
-exposure had taught them to take proper precautions, and they had
-become accustomed to the roughnesses of field life. Time was given me,
-by this lightening of heretofore strenuous duties, to seek around and
-investigate the mysteries of the arrangements of other hospitals beside
-my own, and see how my neighbors managed their responsibilities. While
-on the search for material for improvement, I found a small body of
-Marylanders, who, having had no distinct refuge awarded them, were sent
-wherever circumstances made it convenient to lodge them.
-
-
- _Antagonism._
-
-There had been, from the breaking out of the war, much petty criticism,
-privately and publicly expressed, concerning the conduct and position
-of the Marylanders who had thrown their fortunes in the Confederate
-scale, and a great deal of ill-feeling engendered. Sister States have
-never been amicable, but it was not until my vocation drew my attention
-to the fact that I became aware of the antagonism existing. The
-Virginians complained that the Marylanders had come south to install
-themselves in the comfortable clerkships, and to take possession of the
-lazy places, while those filling them defended their position on the
-ground that efficient men were required in the departments, as well as
-the field, and that their superior capacity as clerks was recognized
-and rewarded without any desire, on their part, to shun field duty.
-They were unfortunate, as they labored under the disadvantage of
-harboring, as reputed fellow citizens, every gambler, speculator or
-vagabond, who, anxious to escape military duty, managed to procure, in
-some way, exemption papers proving him a native of their so-considered
-neutral State. An adverse feeling towards them, report said,
-extended even to the hospitals through which they were scattered,
-and I endeavored long, but unsuccessfully, to induce Dr. Moore (the
-Confederate surgeon-general), to inaugurate some building for their
-use. He was averse to any arrangement of this kind, not from prejudice,
-but a conviction of the expense and trouble of small establishments of
-this nature.
-
-Not succeeding I made a personal application to the surgeon-in-chief of
-my own establishment, to allow me to appropriate a certain number of my
-own wards to them, and with the ready courtesy he always accorded me,
-he immediately gave consent.
-
-
- _The wicked Marylanders._
-
-In the decided objections of surgeons generally to taking charge of
-Marylanders there was an element more amusing than offensive, and the
-dismay of the head of our hospital when he heard of my arrangements was
-ludicrous in the extreme, and our opinions hardly reconcilable from our
-different standpoints. To a woman there was a touch of romance in the
-self-denial exercised, the bravery displayed and the hardships endured
-by a body of men, who were fighting for what was to them an abstract
-question, as far as they were concerned.
-
-No one with any reasoning powers could suppose that Maryland in event
-of success could ever become a sister State of the confederacy.
-Then the majority of them were very young men, who, well born, well
-nurtured and wealthy, accustomed too to all the luxuries of life,
-served then, and even to the end as privates, when less deserving men
-who had commenced their career in the ranks had made interest and
-risen, as much through political favor as personal bravery. Luxuries
-received from other States for their soldiers, which though trifling
-in themselves were so gratifying to their recipients could not come
-to them; the furlough, that El Dorado to the sick soldier, was the
-gold which could not be grasped, for there was no home that could be
-reached. Even letters, those electric conductors from heart to heart,
-came sparingly after long detention, often telling of the loss of the
-beloved at home, months after the grave had closed upon them.
-
-
- _Troublesome Customers._
-
-In antagonism to these ideas were the strong objections of our head
-surgeon to this arrangement of mine, and they too were reasonable. The
-fact of there being an unusual amount of intelligence and independence
-among these men made them more difficult to manage, as they were less
-submissive to orders. They were aware of how much they were entitled
-to, in food, surgical and medical attendance and general comfort; and
-were not afraid to speak loudly and openly of neglect towards them or
-of incapacity in their rulers, so that whether ragged, helpless or sick
-they bore a striking resemblance to Hans Andersen’s leather soldier.
-That historical personage, though lame in the leg, minus an arm and
-eye, with a mashed head, all the gilt rubbed off of his back and lying
-in a gutter, held his own opinion and gave it on all occasions. The
-result of this was that there existed a pretty general objection to
-them as patients, as they were, to say the least, awkward customers. I
-might whisper an aside very low and confidential of sick men who should
-have followed the good old wholesome rule of “early to bed and early to
-rise” taking their physic obediently in the morning, but disappearing
-at night,—“dew in the morning and mist at night,”—and I might also
-tell of passes altered and furloughs lengthened when there was no
-fighting going on, all very wicked, but certainly nothing unmanly or
-dishonorable. They never lingered around when honor called, and their
-record needs no additional tribute from my humble pen. When sectional
-feelings shall have died away and a fair narration of the Confederate
-struggle be written, they will find their laurel leaves fresh and green.
-
-
- _Good Wine needs no Bush._
-
-But to return to domestic details. My new wards were prepared, freshly
-whitewashed, and adorned with cedar boughs for the reception of the old
-line Maryland cavalry, and during their sojourn I experienced to its
-fullest extent the pleasure of ministering to the wants of grateful and
-satisfied soldiers. They brightened a short interval of laborious and
-harassing labors that lasted over four years, and left a sunny spot
-for memory to dwell on. After their departure many more of their State
-came, generally infantry, and difficulties still continued. It was
-impossible to give them their due share of attention, so great was the
-feeling of jealousy existing. If an invalid required special attention,
-and he proved to be a Marylander, though perhaps ignorant myself of
-the fact, many eyes watched me, and complaints were made to the nurses,
-and from them to the surgeons, till a report of partiality to them on
-my part made to the surgeon-in-chief, called forth a remonstrance on
-his part, and a request that all patients should be treated alike.
-Then came an unpleasant season of bickering and dissatisfaction, so
-that fearing I might be to blame in part, I studiously at last avoided
-inquiring to what corps a man belonged.
-
-
- _Annoyances._
-
-A courier of General A. P. Hill’s, very badly wounded, had been
-invalided for some time, and desirous of offering him some inducement
-to bear his fate more patiently, I had invited him to dine in my
-office, as soon as he could use his crutches. An invitation of this
-kind was often extended to men similarly situated; not that there were
-delicacies retained in my kitchen that did not reach the wards, but the
-request was a courtesy, and the food would be hot from the fire, and
-more comfortably served. Unfortunately he was a Marylander, and that
-some adverse report had been made was proved by an order attached to my
-window during the day, explaining that no patient would be permitted
-to enter the matron’s department under any circumstances, on penalty
-of punishment. This was uncalled-for and galling, so I pulled it down
-first, and then carried my complaint to the surgeon-in-chief.
-
-
- _Woman’s wit wins._
-
-No one ever applied to him in vain for either justice or courtesy.
-He naturally was unwilling to countermand this order positively, but
-told me significantly that although the hospital was to a certain
-extent under the control of the surgeon in charge, and subject to his
-orders, the private rooms, as well as kitchen and laundry attached
-to the matron’s department were under my management. As a woman will
-naturally sacrifice her comfort, convenience, pleasure, and privacy to
-have her own way, the result must be evident. My sleeping-room became
-a dining-room, and for the future I made what use of it I pleased,
-returning every night to my quarters at the Secretary’s.
-
-
- _The Flesh-Pots of Egypt._
-
-The next annoyance was the disappearance of all the Maryland patients;
-their wards being found empty one morning, and “no man living could
-tell where they had gone.” However, when the flesh-pots of the
-forsaken land were steaming at dinner-time, a small group revealed
-themselves of the missing tribes, and clustered around my window with
-cup and plate. They belonged to the infantry, and seemed unable to
-bear their exile. This continued for a couple of days, the applicants
-increasing at each meal, till a second visit to Dr. M. with a
-representation of the impossibility of feeding men for whom no rations
-had been drawn brought about a rescinding of the order for their exile,
-and from that time they and all of their corps who came to me were
-unmolested.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Anxieties._
-
-Feminine sympathy being much more demonstrative than masculine,
-particularly when compared with a surgeon’s unresponsiveness, who
-inured to the aspects of suffering, has more control over his
-professional feelings, the nurses often summoned me when only the
-surgeon was needed. One very cold night the same year, 1863, when
-sleeping at my hospital rooms, an answer was made to my demand as to
-who was knocking and what was wanted. The nurse from the nearest ward
-said, something was wrong with Fisher. Instructing him to find the
-doctor immediately and hastily getting on some clothing I hurried to
-the scene, for Fisher was an especial favorite. He was quite a young
-man, of about twenty years of age, who had been wounded ten months
-previously very severely, high up on the leg near the hip, and who
-by dint of hard nursing, good food and plenty of stimulant had been
-given a fair chance for recovery. The bones of the broken leg had
-slipped together, then lapped, and nature anxious as she always is to
-help herself had thrown a ligature across, uniting the severed parts;
-but after some time the side curved out, and the wounded leg was many
-inches shorter than its fellow. He had been the object of sedulous
-care on the part of all—surgeons, ward-master, nurse and matron, and
-the last effort made to assist him was by the construction of an
-open cylinder of pasteboard, made in my kitchen, of many sheets of
-coarse brown paper, cemented together with very stiff paste, and baked
-around the stove-pipe. This was to clasp by its own prepared curve
-the deformed hip, and be a support for it when he was able to use his
-crutches.
-
-
- _No Hope in this World._
-
-He had remained through all his trials, stout, fresh and hearty,
-interesting in appearance, and so gentle-mannered and uncomplaining
-that we all loved him. Supported on his crutches he had walked up and
-down his ward for the first time since he was wounded, and seemed
-almost restored. That same night he turned over and uttered an
-exclamation of pain.
-
-Following the nurse to his bed, and turning down the covering, a small
-jet of blood spurted up. The sharp edge of the splintered bone must
-have severed an artery. I instantly put my finger on the little orifice
-and awaited the surgeon. He soon came—took a long look and shook his
-head. The explanation was easy; the artery was imbedded in the fleshy
-part of the thigh and could not be taken up. No earthly power could
-save him.
-
-There was no object in detaining Dr. ——. He required his time and his
-strength, and long I sat by the boy, unconscious himself that any
-serious trouble was apprehended. The hardest trial of my duty was laid
-upon me; the necessity of telling a man in the prime of life, and
-fullness of strength that there was no hope for him.
-
-
- _Dead._
-
-It was done at last, and the verdict received patiently and
-courageously, some directions given by which his mother would be
-informed of his death, and then he turned his questioning eyes upon my
-face.
-
-“How long can I live?”
-
-“Only as long as I keep my finger upon this artery.” A pause ensued.
-God alone knew what thoughts hurried through that heart and brain,
-called so unexpectedly from all earthly hopes and ties. He broke the
-silence at last.
-
-“You can let go—”
-
-But I could not. Not if my own life had trembled in the balance. Hot
-tears rushed to my eyes, a surging sound to my ears, and a deathly
-coldness to my lips. The pang of obeying him was spared me, and for
-the first and last time during the trials that surrounded me for four
-years, I fainted away.
-
- ————
-
-
- _State Peculiarities and Differences._
-
-No words can do justice to the uncomplaining nature of the Southern
-soldier. Whether it arose from resignation or merely passive
-submission, yet when shown in the aggregate in a hospital, it was
-sublime. Day after day, whether lying wasted by disease or burning up
-with fever, torn with wounds or sinking from debility, a groan was
-seldom heard. The wounded wards would be noisily gay with singing,
-laughing, fighting battles o’er and o’er again, and playfully chaffing
-each other by decrying the troops from different States, each man
-applauding his own. When listening to them one would suppose that the
-whole Southern army with the exception of a few companies from the
-speaker’s section of country, were cowards. The up-country soldiers,
-born in the same States as those they derided, went even further
-and decried “them fellows from the seaboard, who let us do all the
-fighting.” The Georgians would romance of how the South Carolinians
-laid down at such a battle, refusing to charge, and how they had to
-“charge right over them.” The Mississippians of the backwardness of the
-Tennessee troops, who “would never go into action unless led by their
-commanding general.” The Virginians told bitter stories of the rowdyism
-of the Maryland volunteers, who were “always spreeing it in the city,
-and dancing attendance on the women,” and the North Carolinians caught
-it on all sides, though their record is undoubtedly a most gallant one.
-
-
- _Tar-Heel Tastes._
-
-Taken in the mass, the last were certainly most forlorn specimens,
-and their drawl was insufferable. Besides, they never under any
-circumstances would give me the satisfaction of hearing that they
-relished or even ate any food that was issued from my kitchen. “Say,
-can I have some sweet soup?” whined a voice from one bed, and “Look
-here, can I have some sour soup?” came from another. The sweet soup
-upon explanation proved to be stirred custard; the sour a mystery until
-the receipt was given. “You jist put a crock of buttermilk on the fire,
-and let it come to a bile; then mix up the yaller of an egg with some
-corn flour to make a paste; then punch off pieces of the dough, and
-bile them with the soup; with lots of pepper and salt.” The buttermilk
-when so tested by heat resolved itself into a sea of whey with a hard
-ball of curds in the center. I carried the saucepan to his bedside to
-show the results of his culinary directions; but he merely shook his
-head and remarked carelessly that “his mammy’s soup did not look like
-that.”
-
-
- _Babies even give up Milk._
-
-Many would not eat unless furnished with food to which they had been
-accustomed at home, and as unreasoning as brutes resisted nutriment
-and thus became weaker day after day; and whatever was new to the eye
-or palate was received suspiciously. Liquids in the form of soups,
-tea or coffee they turned from with disgust, so that the ordinary
-diet of invalids was inefficient in their case. Buttermilk seemed
-especially created by nature for wounded patients; they craved it with
-a drunkard’s thirst, and great, strong men have turned away from all
-else and implored a drink of sweet milk. We had a very short supply of
-this towards the end of the war, and I remember a stalwart Kentuckian,
-one of Morgan’s men, insisting upon the rare luxury of one cupfull. He
-had been for many months on a raid far out of Confederate limits, and
-returning slightly wounded, had no idea of the scarcity of forage that
-made our cows so dry. His pleading became really affecting, till at
-last rallying, I told him: “Why man! the very babies of the Confederacy
-have given up drinking milk, and here are you, six feet two, crying
-for it.”
-
-
- _Our Little Romance._
-
-Little poetical effusions were often thrust under my cabin door,
-and also notes of all kinds from my patients. Among them one day
-was a well-written and worded request from a young man who had been
-indisposed with that most hateful of all annoyances to soldiers—the
-itch; that shirt of Nessus, which when once attached to the person
-clings there pertinaciously. It begged me when at leisure to give him
-an interview, telling me his ward, name, and bed. He proved to be
-educated, and a gentleman from the upper part of Alabama, which had
-been colonized by the best class of South Carolinians; and he wished
-to enlist any influence I might possess in his favor, to endeavor to
-get him a furlough. His story was interesting. Engaged to a young
-girl, the preparations made, the ring even bought (he wore it next his
-heart), and the marriage day fixed, they heard the first rumors of war,
-and patriotism urging him to enlist, the parents of his sweetheart
-naturally refused to allow him to consummate the engagement until peace
-was restored. The desire to see her again became almost unbearable,
-and feeling sincere sympathy with him, and the hardship of the case,
-I tried but in vain to have him furloughed. The campaign of 1864 had
-opened and every man was needed in the field.
-
-
- _Loved and Lost._
-
-The finale of my story is a sad one, as are almost all stories in time
-of war. He was killed while repelling with his brigade the attack on
-Petersburg, and the little history confided to me resolved itself into
-a romance one night, that found shape and form:
-
-
- “ICH HABE GELEBT UND GELIEBT.”
-
- The bride’s robe is ready, the bridesmaids are bid,
- The groom clasps the circlet, so cautiously hid;
- For a home is now waiting a mistress to claim
- A lover, a wife, for his house, heart and name.
- There is peace in the homestead and mirth in the hall—
- The steed idly stands at his rack in the stall,
- The whole land is teeming with prosperous life,
- For lost are all memories of carnage and strife.
- With rich golden harvest the ripe hills are blest,
- And God’s providence stands revealed and confessed.
-
- * * * * *
-
- No priest blessed that union, no ring wed that hand;
- With anger and discord soon rang the whole land;
- Through all its wide domains the dread tidings rang
- Of bloodshed. The lover was first in the van.
- “My own one! I leave thee, those dear arms unfold.
- Wouldst wed with the timid—the doubtful—the cold?
- No union could bless till our country be free,
- So onward for liberty, glory—and thee!”
-
- * * * * *
-
- Right bravely fought he till sunlight lying low
- Discovered a field that had left him no foe;
- But when in the flush of a victory gained,
- Deep in dreams of his love—his honor unstained,
- He wended his way to the home of his heart
- From her side ne’er to swerve, from her love ne’er to part,
- Hast’ning on with his tidings he knew she would prize—
- His heart on his lips and his soul in his eyes;
- Laid low by a shot courage could not repel
- At the feet of a mightier victor—he fell!
- And the bride that he left? What needs it to say
- Her doom was a woman’s,—to watch, wait and pray.
- The heat of the struggle nerves man for the strife,
- But bitter at home is her battle of life,
- When far from the conflict, unheeded, alone,
- Her brain in a flame, but her heart like a stone,
- She patiently waits to hear _one_ life is won,
- Or silently prays to say—_His_ will be done!
-
- ————
-
-
- _The Conquering Hero comes again._
-
-The whiskey barrel, as I have said before, and suppose I shall often
-say again, had been a bone of contention from the beginning, and as it
-afterward proved, continued so to the end. Liquor commanded an enormous
-price in Dixie, and often if its lovers had the means to procure it,
-the opportunity was wanting, as the hospital was some distance from
-Richmond. When first installed in my office, the desire to conciliate,
-and the belief that men generally had some conscience even on the
-whiskey question led me to yield to urgent solicitations for it from
-many quarters; but the demands increased fearfully upon any concession.
-A reference to Dr. M. about this matter settled the heretofore open
-question. The doctor said the liquor was intended exclusively for
-the use of patients, and should only be used through a prescription
-accompanied by a written order. Also that I was personally responsible
-for the quantity confided to my care, and must each month produce the
-surgeon’s receipts to balance with the number of gallons drawn from the
-medical purveyor. There were at different times half a dozen surgeons
-and officials around, who absolutely made my life wretched by their
-importunities, and yet who could not be sent away except by preferring
-charges against them, and proving those charges; for my hospital was a
-military organization. I did not feel inclined to brave the publicity
-of preferred charges, for I seemed to have no recognized rank, and if
-even I could prove them, the complaints made would be ludicrously
-petty in detail, though distracting as mosquito bites in the aggregate.
-
-
- _Rats—Hopeless Inebriates._
-
-The modes adopted to outflank me were named “legion.” Some of them
-can be recalled. A quart bottle of whiskey would be ordered by the
-officer of the day for each ward, for night use, so that it would be
-ready at hand should any of the patients need this stimulant during the
-night. The next morning, on inquiry being made, there had been no case
-requiring its use, but the bottles would be empty, and expostulation
-on my part be met with explanations that the rats (who were a very
-plague), had knocked all the bottles over. On refusing to honor any
-more demands of the same kind, not believing in the rat story, the
-surgeon in charge would be appealed to, hear all sides, and favor none.
-This was just what I anticipated and wanted, for having, for the first
-few months of my occupation, lived in a state of active terror for
-fear of violating rules, however injurious the results of obeying, I
-recompensed myself from that time till the end of my sojourn by acting
-exactly as I thought right, braving the consequences, and preferring
-to be attacked to attacking.
-
-
- _What Constitutes a Lady?_
-
-One mode of annoying me was particularly offensive—sending a negro boy
-with a cup and a simple request for whiskey, as if it was the most
-natural act in the world. At first a polite refusal would be written,
-but if this mode should have been persevered in, a private secretary
-would have been necessary; so in time it was replaced by a curt “No.”
-A few minutes later the boy would again stand before me with the
-same message, and this would occur half a dozen times consecutively.
-I did not believe in vicarious punishment, so could not make the
-messenger responsible—he was compelled to obey; and sometimes, stung
-to irritation by this senseless pertinacity, I would write a note to
-the offending party, brief but sharp. The reply would be the same silly
-question I so often had to meet: “Did Mrs. —— consider herself a lady
-when she wrote such notes?” “No,” was always the indignant answer.
-“How could she be, when brought into contact with such elements?” It
-was strange, with so little outward self-assertion, always dressed in
-Georgia homespun, often the worse for wear, leather shoes, worsted
-gloves, and half the time with a skillet or coffee-pot in my hands,
-that all the common element around me should contest my right to a
-title to which I never aspired in words.
-
-This fact, which must have been patent to them from the active
-persecution it entailed, seemed to be a crying grievance. My life at
-my hospital quarters when relieved from care for the patients was
-exclusive, from habit, inclination and prudence. Living a great part of
-my time away from all intercourse with my own sex, in a solitude that
-was unbroken after dark, it was better that no intimacies should be
-formed and no preferences shown; and in an exposed position where Argus
-eyes were always watching, a woman could not be too careful.
-
-
- _The Hero again._
-
-But still the wars of the whiskey barrel continued. One day the men
-of one of the distant wards sent for me in the absence of their
-ward-master, and complained that the liquor issued for them never
-reached them. All concurred in this report, and said the champagne
-bottles in which it was kept were hid behind a certain vacant bed,
-from whence they would be abstracted that night. A search on
-my part brought them to light, still full, although the hour of
-administering had long past. The ward-master was summoned, the full
-bottles exhibited, and expressing my surprise at the inhumanity and
-dishonesty of one I had heretofore thought so honest, I warned him of
-the consequences that would result to him. His protestations were so
-earnest that he never tasted liquor, that I could not disbelieve him.
-What then had “become of the quantity issued, had he sold it?”
-
-The charge was met by indignant surprise, and then the truth began to
-dawn upon me. That he had been false to his charge and his patients was
-true, if even he had not been guilty of taking it, and I warned him
-that on my representing the matter to the proper authorities he would
-be sent to the field. An hour after this conversation the surgeon of
-his ward entered my office with belligerent aspect.
-
-
- _Military Law Declared._
-
-“Did you assert, Madam, that you intended sending my ward-master to the
-field?”
-
-“I said I intended laying the facts concerning the disappearance of
-the liquor before the proper authorities.”
-
-“I consider myself responsible, Madam, for the liquor used in my wards.”
-
-“If you do, you fail to be sure that it reaches its destination, so I
-intend in future to see that it does.”
-
-“If you mean that my ward-master drinks it, you are mistaken; he does
-not take any stimulant.”
-
-“I know he does not,” I answered quietly, “and I also know who does.”
-
-He changed color, and passing him I walked into my little sanctum
-adjoining the office. To my astonishment he kicked back the door and
-also entered.
-
-“Doctor, this is my private room,” I said, “to which no one is
-admitted. Be kind enough to leave.”
-
-“Not until you explain,” he answered, throwing himself at full length
-upon the couch.
-
-This was just far enough for him to venture. I threw back my window,
-and called to the sentry to order up a sergeant and file of the guard.
-In a few minutes the ring of their muskets outside sounded, and taking
-out my watch, I placed it on the table by him.
-
-
- _Five Minutes’ Grace._
-
-“I will give you five minutes,” I said, “to leave my room. If you are
-not gone by that time, commissioned officer as you are, and gentleman
-as you ought to be, I will have you taken to the guard-house, and then
-explain this matter to the surgeon-general.”
-
-He waited a minute or two, soliloquizing audibly that I must fancy
-myself the Secretary of War, and he would make me know my position, but
-soon made up his mind that discretion was the better part of valor, and
-left. Proper measures were no doubt taken to punish such conduct, for
-though I made no complaint, there were no secrets in a hospital, and
-after a few weeks he disappeared, sent no doubt to that Botany Bay—“the
-front.” He took a gallant leave of his associates, hinting that his
-talents demanded a wider field of action than a hospital.
-
-But the tables were about to be turned. Not forever would I be allowed
-to carry war into the enemy’s country, or be the sole defender of
-that friend by whom I had stood so gallantly. The whiskey barrel was
-destined after all to be turned into a weapon of offense.
-
-
- _The Tables Turned._
-
-The bold man who thus declared hostilities, and by a _coup-de-guerre_
-changed the whole nature of the war from offensive to defensive
-tactics, had been bar-keeper in a Georgia tavern, afterwards a clerk in
-a Macon dispensary, in order to escape field duty. Coming to Richmond
-he passed the board of surgeons by a process known only to themselves,
-which often rejected good practitioners, and gave appointments to
-apothecary boys.
-
-Fate sent him to our hospital, where the brilliant idea struck him to
-check thefts of whiskey in the feminine department. He inaugurated his
-plans by ordering a pint of it for a single patient.
-
-The etiquette of a hospital enjoins that no one but the chief surgeon
-shall dispute an inferior surgeon’s prescription, so I carried this
-generous order to the chief, received his instructions not to exceed
-the usual “from two to four ounces” without being served with a formal
-requisition signed by the surgeon in charge, and so I wrote this
-gentleman (a contract surgeon) a few lines, courteously explanatory
-of my reasons for so cutting him down. This matter being arranged,
-I forgot all about it, but the next day the blow was struck; the
-following note being handed to me:
-
-
- “HOSPITAL, Richmond, April 3, 1864.
-
- “The Chief Matron:—Is respectfully asked to state the amount of water
- used as compared with amount of whiskey in making toddy. Also if
- strength of toddy has been uniform since January 1st, 1863. Also if
- any change has taken place in diluting within the same period. She
- will also state what the change has been; also when made, and by whose
- authority.
- “Respectfully,
- “——— ———,
- “Assistant Surgeon in charge.”
-
-
- _Concise, but not Clear._
-
-These questions, if even he had any right to ask them (which he had
-not), were simply absurd. With hundreds of men requiring different
-drinks many times each day, ordered by numerous surgeons, prepared to
-suit different stages of disease and palate, no hour bringing the same
-orders, how could any kind of a correct statement be made, even if I
-was willing to make it? But there was a great deal of amusement in the
-idea of letting him suppose he had alarmed me. Perhaps, as the day was
-very wet, and the wards rather empty, we might enact a small comedy; so
-I sat down and answered in full, respectfully, feeling very charitably
-that he was welcome to all the information he could extract from the
-five closely-written sheets of foolscap I despatched him.
-
-
- _A Storm Brewing._
-
-In this document, polite, officially formal and as officially obscure,
-I thought I had succeeded in showing my correspondent that his
-questions could not be answered satisfactorily, but that I was much
-alarmed at his asking them. That I did not succeed in regard to his
-first inquiry was proved by the following, which came after an hour’s
-delay.
-
-
- “HOSPITAL, April 3rd, 1864.
-
- “Chief Matron:—Is respectfully called upon to state what amount of
- whiskey has been given to each patient when amount has not been stated
- or expressed by surgeon, or assistant surgeon, upon the rolls, but
- instead ‘whiskey three times a day,’ and shown upon the rolls which
- _I_ send _you_.
- “Respectfully,
- “——— ———,
- “Assistant Surgeon in charge.”
-
-
- _Diplomatic Correspondence._
-
-No solemn pages greeted him in answer this time. My rejoinder was
-concise and to the point.
-
-
- “HOSPITAL, April 3rd, 1864.
-
- “The Chief Matron regrets that she is too busily engaged to give any
- more voluminous explanations, being at this moment up to her elbows in
- gingerbread.”
-
-
-Then the sleeping lion was roused, for almost instantly the reply was
-brought me, and an alarming finale it was.
-
-
- “HOSPITAL, April 3rd, 1864.
-
- “Chief Matron: Is hereby informed that if she willfully and
- contumaciously refuses to give me such information as I demand, and
- she is possessed of, thereby obstructing the duty I feel myself called
- upon to perform, she must be prepared to _meet_ the responsibility
- upon _your own shoulders_.
- “Respectfully,
- “——— ———,
- “Assistant Surgeon in charge.”
-
-
- _Confusion of Tenses._
-
-A serious but sharp rejoinder sent to this gentleman, trying to show
-him that he had no authority to propound these questions, closed
-this paper war; and I had forgotten all about the matter, when the
-correspondence was forwarded me, folded in official style, and indorsed
-at the surgeon-general’s office on the back “Referred respectfully to
-the surgeon-in-chief —— Hospital,” through whose hands alone official
-etiquette required all reports should pass to heads of departments.
-He had courteously sent it to me, and I as courteously sent it to the
-forwarder. Seeing that he had failed to interest the surgeon-general
-in the case, he drew up a statement of the affair, accusing me of
-disrespect (based upon the gingerbread letter particularly) to my
-_superior officer_, sending it accompanied by all the obnoxious notes
-to the office of the military governor of the department of Henrico,
-who I heard read it all with some amazement—if not interest.
-
-
- _How History is made._
-
-Back, however, it came shortly again without response, and by this
-time some of the waggish surgeons having been made confidants in the
-matter, persuaded my disappointed friend to try the secretary of war;
-and at one of the charming breakfasts which his wife was in the habit
-of giving, I saw him with a smile draw from his pocket a package I knew
-well by that time, and made my escape just in time to avoid hearing it
-all over again. As I mounted the ambulance in waiting to take me to my
-hospital, I heard the peals of laughter that greeted the reading of
-those unlucky documents.
-
-My acquaintance with my correspondent was never renewed. He kept out
-of my way. The only time I ever saw him again was the day he left and
-I viewed his pantaloons of Georgia clay embrowning the landscape adown
-the hill.
-
-
- _Non-intervention._
-
-A better educated class of surgeons was sent to fill fortunate
-vacancies, and this change made my duties more agreeable. There would
-have been nothing disagreeable in the occupation I had assumed if a
-proper discretion had been exercised, or proper rules enforced, so
-that no demands should have been made upon the matron for that which
-she had no right to give. These demands were the beginning and end of
-my troubles; for in all else except complying with them I tried hard
-not to exceed the duties of my position, and succeeded so well that
-no temptation could induce me to interfere in any way with medical
-treatment, not even to offering the slightest alleviation to suffering
-men. During my early initiation, when quite a novice, yielding to
-a poor fellow’s prayer for something to wash a mouth frightfully
-excoriated by calomel I gave him a few drops of myrrh in water, I
-suffered the annoyance of seeing it contemptuously tossed out of the
-window by the assistant surgeon. From that day I made up my mind to
-resist all such impulses and persevered in the same line of conduct to
-the end.
-
-
- _Amende._
-
-But antagonism was not always the rule. There were many sensible,
-kind-hearted, efficient men among the surgeons who gave their time
-and talents generously to further the comfort and well-being of their
-patients,—men who would let me work hand in hand with them, the nurse
-with the doctor, and listen kindly and respectfully to my suggestions,
-if they were not calculated to benefit science. As I have said, the
-chief surgeon was an unfailing refuge in times of distress, and
-whenever broken down by fatigue and small miseries I sought his advice
-and assistance, the first was not only the very best that could be
-secured, but unlike most of its kind, palatable; and the last entirely
-efficient. The surgeon too of my hospital though eccentric and wanting
-in decision of character, sustained my authority during sore trials as
-ably as he could; for the power delegated to him was not great, and his
-dread of responsibility a disease. He never intended to be unjust or
-unkind, but self-examination and investigation of characters around him
-was not his forte. He certainly withstood a vast amount of complaint
-directed against his chief matron; and while we had our pleasant little
-difficulties occasionally, that we still preserved amicable relations
-was due more to his amiable temper than my proper submission. I _think_
-he had many faults, but I am sure I had more, and if the popular remark
-which has since become a maxim, that a man must be very clever to
-“keep a hotel” be true, it certainly ought to apply to one who can
-govern a hospital.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Sadness and Doubts._
-
-Now during the summer of 1864 began what is really meant by “war,”
-for privations had to be endured which tried body and soul, and which
-temper and patience had to meet unflinchingly day and night. A growing
-want of confidence was forced upon the mind; and with doubts which
-though unexpressed were felt as to the ultimate success of our cause,
-there came into play the antagonistic qualities of human nature.
-
-
- _Sorrow and Privation._
-
-The money worthless, and a weak Congress and weaker financier failing
-to make it much more valuable than the paper it was printed on; the
-former refusing to the last to raise the hospital fund to meet the
-depreciation. Everything furnished through government contracts of the
-very poorest description, perhaps necessarily so from the difficulty of
-finding any supply.
-
-The railroads constantly cut so that what had been carefully collected
-in the country in the form of poultry and vegetables by hospital agents
-would be rendered unfit for use by the time the connection would be
-restored. The inducements for theft in this season of scarcity of
-food and clothing. The pathetic appeals made for the coarsest meal by
-starving men, all wore upon the health and strength of those exposed
-to the strain, and made life weary and hopeless. The rations became
-so small about this time that every ounce of flour was valuable, and
-there were days when it was necessary to refuse with aching heart and
-brimming eyes the request of decent, manly-looking fellows for a piece
-of dry corn-bread. If given it would have robbed the rightful owner
-of part of his scanty rations. After the flour or meal had been made
-into bread, it was almost ludicrous to see with what painful solicitude
-Miss G. and myself would count the rolls, or hold a council over the
-pans of corn-bread, measuring with a string how large we could afford
-to cut the squares, to be apportioned to a certain number. Sometimes
-when from the causes above stated, the supplies were not issued as
-usual, invention had to be taxed to an extreme, and every available
-article in our pantry brought into requisition. We had constantly to
-fall back upon dried apples and rice for convalescing appetites, and
-herb-tea and arrowroot for the very ill. There was only one way of
-making the last at all palatable, and that was by drenching it with
-whiskey. Long abstinence in the field from everything that could be
-considered, even then, a delicacy, had exaggerated the fancy of sick
-men for any particular article of food they wanted into a passion; and
-they begged for such peculiar dishes that surgeons and nurses might
-well be puzzled. The greatest difficulty in granting these desires was
-that tastes became contagious, and whatever one patient asked for,
-his neighbor and the one next to him, and so on throughout the wards,
-craved also, and it was impossible to decide upon whom to draw a check.
-
-
- _No Change._
-
-No one unacquainted with our domestic relations can appreciate the
-difficulties under which we labored. Stoves in any degree of newness
-or usefulness we did not have; they were rare and expensive luxuries.
-As may be supposed, they were not the most convenient articles in the
-world to pack away in blockade-running vessels; and the trouble and
-expense of land transportation also seriously affected the quality
-of the wood for fuel, furnished us. Timber which had been condemned
-heretofore as unfit for use, light, soggy and decayed, became the only
-quality available. The bacon too, cured the first two years of the
-war, when salt commanded an enormous price, in most cases was spoilt,
-from the economy used in preparing that article; and bacon was one of
-the sinews of war. We kept up brave hearts, and said we could eat the
-simplest fare, and wear the coarsest clothing, but there was absolutely
-nothing to be bought that did not rank as a luxury. It was wasting time
-and brain to attempt to economize, so we bent to the full force of
-that wise precept, “Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.” There
-really was a great deal of heroism displayed when looking back, at the
-calm courage with which I learned to count the number of mouths to be
-fed daily, and then contemplating the food, calculate not how much
-but how little each man could be satisfied with. War may be glorious
-in all its panoply and pride, when in the field opposing armies meet
-and strive for victory; but battles fought by starving the sick and
-wounded—by crushing in by main force day by day all the necessities of
-human nature, make victories hardly worth the name.
-
-
- _Educated Rats._
-
-Another of my local troubles were the rats, who felt the times, and
-waxed strong and cunning, defying all attempts to entrap them, and
-skillfully levying blackmail upon us day by day, and night after
-night. Hunger had educated their minds and sharpened their reasoning
-faculties. Other vermin, the change of seasons would rid us of, but
-the coldest day in winter, and the hottest in summer, made no apparent
-difference in their vivacious strategy. They examined traps with the
-air of connoisseurs, sometimes springing them from a safe position,
-and kicked over the bread spread with butter and strychnine to show
-their contempt for such underhand warfare. The men related wonderful
-rat-stories not well enough authenticated to put on record, but their
-gourmands ate all the poultices applied during the night to the sick,
-and dragged away the pads stuffed with bran from under the arms and
-legs of the wounded.
-
-
- _Rat Surgeon._
-
-They even performed a surgical operation which would have entitled any
-of them to pass the board. A Virginian had been wounded in the very
-center of the instep of his left foot. The hole made was large, and
-the wound sloughed fearfully around a great lump of proud flesh which
-had formed in the center like an island. The surgeons feared to remove
-this mass, as it might be connected with the nerves of the foot, and
-lock-jaw might ensue. Poor Patterson would sit on his bed all day
-gazing at his lame foot and bathing it with a rueful face, which had
-brightened amazingly one morning when I paid him a visit. He exhibited
-it with great glee, the little island gone, and a deep hollow left, but
-the wound washed clean and looking healthy. Some skillful rat surgeon
-had done him this good service while in the search for luxuries, and
-he only knew that on awaking in the morning he had found the operation
-performed.
-
-
- _Novel style of catching them._
-
-I never had but one personal interview with any of them. An ancient
-gray gentleman, who looked a hundred years old, both in years and
-depravity, would eat nothing but butter, when that article was twenty
-dollars a pound; so finding all means of getting rid of him fail
-through his superior intelligence, I caught him with a fish-hook, well
-baited with a lump of his favorite butter, dropped into his domicile
-under the kitchen floor. Epicures sometimes managed to entrap them and
-secure a nice broil for supper, declaring that their flesh was superior
-to squirrel meat; but never having tasted it, I cannot add my testimony
-to its merits. They staid with us to the last, nor did I ever observe
-any signs of a desire to change their politics. Perhaps some curious
-_gourmet_ may wish a recipe for the best mode of cooking them. The rat
-must be skinned, cleaned, his head cut off and his body laid open upon
-a square board, the legs stretched to their full extent and secured
-upon it with small tacks, then baste with bacon fat and roast before a
-good fire quickly like canvas-back ducks.
-
- ————
-
-
- _No Personal Animosities._
-
-One of the remarkable features of the war was the perfect good nature
-with which the rebels discussed their foes. In no instance up to a
-certain period did I hear of any remark that savored of personal
-hatred. They fought for a cause and against a power, and would speak in
-depreciation of a corps or brigade; but “they fit us, and we fit them,”
-was the whole story generally and till the blowing up of the mine at
-Petersburg there was a gay, insouciant style in their descriptions of
-the war scenes passing under their observation. But after that time
-the sentiment changed from an innate feeling the Southern soldiers had
-that mining was “a mean trick,” as they expressed it. They were not
-sufficiently versed in military tactics to recognize that stratagem
-is fair in war, and what added to their indignation was the pouring
-in of _negro_ soldiers when the breach was effected. Incensed at the
-surprise, they craved foes worthier of their steel, not caring to
-rust it in the black cloud that issued from the crater. The men had
-heretofore been calm and restrained, particularly before a woman, never
-using oaths or improper language, but the wounded that were brought in
-from that fight emulated the talents of Uncle Toby’s army in Flanders,
-and eyes gleamed, and teeth clenched as they showed me the locks of
-their muskets, to which the blood and hair still clung, when after
-firing, without waiting to re-load, they had clenched the barrels and
-fought hand to hand. If their accounts could be relied upon, it was a
-gallant strife and a desperate one, and ghastly wounds bore testimony
-of the truth of many a tale then told.
-
-
- _The Bitter Blood._
-
-Once again the bitter blood showed itself, when, after a skirmish,
-the foe cut the rail track, so that the wounded could not be brought
-to the city. Of all the monstrous crimes that war sanctions, this is
-surely the most sinful. Wounded soldiers without the shelter of a roof,
-or the comfort of a bed of straw, left exposed to sun, dew, and rain,
-with hardly the prospect of a warm drink or decent food for days,
-knowing that comfortable quarters awaited them, all ready prepared,
-but rendered useless by what seems an unnecessarily cruel act. Was it
-any wonder that their habitual indifference to suffering gave way, and
-the soldier cursed loud and deep at a causeless inhumanity, which, if
-practiced habitually, is worse than savage? When the sufferers at last
-reached the hospital, their wounds had not been attended to for three
-days, and the sight of them was shocking.
-
-
- _A Common Sight._
-
-Busy in my kitchen, seeing that the supply of necessary food was in
-preparation, I was spared the sight of much of the suffering, but on
-passing among the ambulances going in and out of the wards I descried
-seated up in one of them a dilapidated figure, both hands holding his
-head which was tied up with rags of all descriptions. He appeared to be
-incapable of talking, but nodded and winked and made motions with head
-and feet. In the general confusion he had been forgotten, so I took him
-under my especial charge. He was taken into a ward, seated on a bed,
-while I stood on a bench to be able to unwind rag after rag from around
-his head. There was no sensitiveness on his part, for his eye was merry
-and bright, but when the last came off, what a sight!
-
-
- _A Looking-Glass Wanted._
-
-Two balls had passed through his cheek and jaw within half an inch
-of each other, knocking out the teeth on both sides and cutting the
-tongue in half. The inflammation caused the swelling to be immense,
-and the absence of all previous attendance, in consequence of the
-detention of the wounded until the road could be mended, had aggravated
-the symptoms. There was nothing fatal to be apprehended, but fatal
-wounds are not always the most trying. The sight of this was the most
-sickening my long experience had ever seen. The swollen lips turned
-out, and the mouth filled with blood, matter, fragments of teeth from
-amidst all of which the maggots in countless numbers swarmed and
-writhed, while the smell generated by this putridity was unbearable.
-Castile soap and soft sponges soon cleansed the offensive cavity, and
-he was able in an hour to swallow some nourishment he drew through a
-quill. The following morning I found him reading the newspaper, and
-entertaining every one about him by his abortive attempts to make
-himself understood, and in a week he actually succeeded in doing
-so. The first request distinctly enunciated was that he wanted a
-looking-glass to see if his sweetheart would be willing to kiss him
-when she saw him. We all assured him that she would not be worthy of
-the name if she would not be delighted to do so.
-
-
- _Vaccination._
-
-An order come about this time to clear out the lower wards for the
-reception of improperly-vaccinated patients, who soon after arrived in
-great numbers. They were dreadfully afflicted objects, many of them
-with sores so deep and thick upon arms and legs that amputation had
-to be resorted to, to preserve life. As fast as the eruption would be
-healed in one spot, it would break out in another, for the blood seemed
-entirely poisoned. The unfortunate victims bore the infliction as they
-had borne everything else painful—with calm patience and indifference
-to suffering. Sometimes a favorable comparison would be made between
-this and the greater loss of limbs.
-
-
- _Prisoners of War._
-
-No one who was a daily witness to their agonies from this cause,
-can help feeling indignant at charges made of inhumanity to Federal
-prisoners of war, who were vaccinated with the same virus; and while on
-this subject, though it may be outside of the recollections of hospital
-life, I cannot help stating that on no occasion was the question of
-rations and medicines to be issued for Federal prisoners discussed
-in my presence; and circumstances placed me where I had the best
-opportunity of hearing the truth (living with the wife of a Cabinet
-officer); that good evidence was not given, that the Confederate
-commissary-general, by order of the government issued to them the same
-rations it gave its soldiers in the field, and only when reductions of
-food had to be made in our army, were they also made in the prisons.
-The question of supplies for them was an open and a vexed one among the
-people generally, and angry and cruel things were _said_; but everyone
-cognizant of facts in Richmond _knows_ that even when Gen. Lee’s
-army lived on corn-meal at times that the prisoners still received
-their usual rations. At a cabinet meeting when the Commissary-general
-Northrop advocated putting the prisoners on the half rations which our
-soldiers had been obliged to content themselves with for some time,
-Gen. Lee opposed him on the ground that men animated by companionship
-and active service could be satisfied with less than prisoners with no
-hope and leading an inactive life. Mr. Davis sided with him, and the
-question was settled that night, although in his anger Mr. Northrop
-accused Gen. Lee of showing this consideration because his son was a
-prisoner in the enemy’s lines.
-
-
- _Unwelcome Visitors._
-
-My hospital was now entirely composed of Virginians and Marylanders,
-and the nearness to the homes of the former entailed upon me an
-increase of care in the shape of wives, sisters, cousins, aunts, and
-whole families including the historic baby at the breast. They came
-in troops, and hard as it was to know how to dispose of them, it was
-harder to send them away. Sometimes they brought their provisions with
-them, but not often, and even when they did there was no place for them
-to cook their food. It must be remembered that everything was reduced
-to the lowest minimum, even fuel. They could not remain all day in
-the wards with men around them, and if even they were so willing, the
-restraint on wounded, restless patients who wanted to throw their limbs
-about with freedom during hot summer days, was unbearable.
-
-
- _An Unexpected Gathering._
-
-Generally their only idea of kindness was giving sick men what food
-they would take in any quantity and of every quality, and in the
-furtherance of their views they were pugnacious in the extreme.
-Whenever rules circumscribed their plans they abused the government,
-then the hospital and then myself. Many ludicrous incidents happened
-daily, and I have often laughed heartily at seeing the harassed
-ward-master heading away a pertinacious female who failing to get past
-him at one door would try the three others perseveringly. They seemed
-to think it a pious and patriotic duty not to be afraid or ashamed
-under _any_ circumstances. One sultry day I found a whole family
-accompanied by two young lady friends seated around a wounded man’s
-bed; as I passed through six hours later, they held the same position.
-
-
- _Counterchecks._
-
-“Had not you all better go home?” I said good-naturedly.
-
-“We came to see my cousin,” answered one very crossly. “He is wounded.”
-
-“But you have been with him all morning, and that is a restraint upon
-the other men. Come again to-morrow.”
-
-A consultation was held, but when it ceased no movement was made, the
-older ones only lighting their pipes and smoking in silence.
-
-“Will you come back to-morrow, and go now?”
-
-“No! You come into the wards when you please, and so will we!”
-
-“But it is my duty to do so. Besides, I always ask permission to enter,
-and never stay longer than fifteen minutes at a time.”
-
-Another unbroken silence, which was a trial to any patience left, and
-finding no movement made, I handed some clothing to a patient near.
-
-“Here is a clean shirt and drawers for you, Mr. Wilson; put them on as
-soon as I get out of the ward.”
-
-
- _Checkmated._
-
-I had hardly reached my kitchen, when the whole procession, pipes and
-all, passed me solemnly and angrily; but for many days, and even weeks,
-there was no ridding the place of this large family connection. Their
-sins were manifold. They overfed their relative who was recovering from
-an attack of typhoid fever, and even defiantly seized the food for the
-purpose from under my very nose. They marched on me _en masse_ at ten
-o’clock at night, with a requisition from the boldest for sleeping
-quarters. The steward was summoned, and said “he didn’t keep a hotel,”
-so in a weak moment of pity for their desolate state, I imprudently
-housed them in my laundry. They entrenched themselves there for six
-days, making predatory incursions into my kitchen during my temporary
-absences, ignoring Miss G. completely. The object of their solicitude
-recovered and was sent to the field, and finding my writs of ejectment
-were treated with contemptuous silence, I sought an explanation. The
-same spokeswoman alluded to above, met me half-way. She said a battle
-was imminent she had heard, and she had determined to remain, as her
-husband might be wounded. In the ensuing press of business she was
-forgotten, and strangely enough, her husband was brought in with a
-bullet in his neck the following week. The back is surely fitted to the
-burden, so I contented myself with retaking my laundry, and letting her
-shift for herself, while a whole month slipped away. One morning my
-arrival was greeted with a general burst of merriment from everybody
-I met, white and black. Experience had made me sage, and my first
-question was a true shot, right in the center.
-
-
- _Unexpected and Unwelcome Visitor._
-
-“Where is Mrs. Daniells?” (she who had always been spokeswoman).
-
-“In ward G. She has sent for you two or three times.”
-
-“What is the matter now?”
-
-“You must go and see.”
-
-There was something going on, either amusing or amiss. I entered ward
-G, and walked up to Daniells’ bed. One might have heard a pin drop.
-
-I had supposed, up to this time, that I had been called upon to bear
-and suffer every annoyance that humanity and the state of the country
-could inflict; but here was something most unexpected in addition; for
-lying composedly on her husband’s cot (he had relinquished it for the
-occasion), lay Mrs. Daniells, and her baby, just two hours old.
-
-
- _What shall I do with it?_
-
-The conversation that ensued is not worth repeating, being more of the
-nature of soliloquy. The poor little wretch had ventured into a bleak
-and comfortless portion of the world, and its inhuman mother had not
-provided a rag to cover it. No one could scold her at such a time,
-however ardently they might desire to do so. But what was to be done?
-I went in search of my chief surgeon, and our conversation although
-didactic was hardly satisfactory on the subject.
-
-“Doctor, Mrs. Daniells has a baby. She is in ward G. What shall I do
-with her?”
-
-“A baby! Bless me! Ah indeed! You must get it some clothes.”
-
-“What must I do with _her_?”
-
-“Move her to an empty ward and give her some tea and toast.”
-
-This was offered, but Mrs. D. said she would wait until dinner-time and
-have some bacon and greens.
-
-The baby was a sore annoyance. The ladies of Richmond made up a
-wardrobe, each contributing some article, and at the end of the month,
-Mrs D., the child, and a basket of clothing and provisions were sent
-to the cars with a return ticket to her home in western Virginia. My
-feelings of relief can be imagined. But the end had not come. An hour
-after the ambulance had started with them, it stopped at my kitchen
-door apparently empty, and the black driver with a grin half of
-delighted mischief and half of fear silently lifted a bundle out and
-deposited it carefully upon my kitchen dresser. Mrs. Daniells’ baby!
-
-
- _As Godmother._
-
-The unnatural woman had deserted it, leaving it in the railroad depot,
-but the father fortunately was still with us and to him I appealed. A
-short furlough was obtained for him, and he was despatched home with
-his embarrassing charge and a quart of milk. He was a wretched picture
-of helplessness, but had I sent again for the mother I should never
-have got rid of her. It may be remarked _en passant_ that she was not
-wholly ungrateful, for the baby was named after me.
-
-
- _Home-sickness._
-
-There were no means of keeping the relations of patients from coming
-to them. There had been rules made to meet their invasion, but it was
-impossible to carry them out, as in the instance of a wife wanting
-to remain with her husband; and besides even the better class of
-people looked upon the comfort and care of a hospital as a farce. They
-resented the detention there of men who in many instances could lie in
-bed and point to their homes within sight, and argued that they would
-have better attention and food if allowed to go to their families.
-That _maladie du pays_ called commonly nostalgia, the home-sickness
-which wrings the heart and impoverishes the blood, killed many a brave
-soldier; and the matron who day by day had to stand helpless and
-powerless by the bed of the sufferer, knowing that a week’s furlough
-would make his heart sing for joy, and save his wife from widowhood,
-learned the most bitter lesson of endurance that could be taught.
-
-This home-sickness recognized no palliation. However carefully the
-appetite might be pampered, or stimulants prepared and given, the
-food never nourished, the drink never strengthened; the decay would
-be gradual, but death was inevitable. Perhaps when recovery seemed
-hopeless, a statement of the case might procure a furlough from the
-examining board of surgeons, but the patient would then be too weak and
-low to profit by the concession. It was wonderful to see how long the
-poor broken machine would hold out in some cases. For months I have
-watched a victim, helpless, hopeless, and motionless, simply receive
-into his mouth daily a few spoonfuls of nourishment, making no other
-movement, the skin barely covering the bones, and the skeleton of the
-face as sharply defined as it might have been days after dissolution.
-The answer to cheering words seldom exceeding a slight movement of the
-eyelids. Towards the end of the war, this detention of men who could
-have been furloughed at first, and some other abuses were reformed
-by allowing a board to be convened of three of the oldest surgeons
-attached to the hospital, who had authority to dispose of such cases
-without deferring to higher powers. There had been so much imposition
-practiced by men desirous of getting furloughs, and so many abuses
-had crept in despite the stringency of rules, that severity seemed
-necessary.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Spring Operations._
-
-The spring campaign of 1864 again opened with the usual “On to
-Richmond.” Day after day and night after night would the sudden
-explosion of cannon boom upon the air. The enemy were always coming,
-and curiosity seemed to have usurped the place of fear among the
-women. In the silence of night the alarm bells would suddenly peal
-out, till the order to ring them at any sign of danger was modified to
-a command to sound them only in case of positive attack. The people
-became so accustomed to the report of fire-arms, that they scarcely
-interrupted their conversation at corners of the streets to ask in what
-direction the foe was advancing, or if there was any foe at all.
-
-There was such entire reliance upon the military vigilance that guarded
-the city, and former attacks had been so promptly repelled, that
-whatever was ultimately to be the result of the war, no one trembled
-then for Richmond. So the summer of 1864 passed, and early in September
-our hearts were gladdened by the tidings that the exchange of prisoners
-was to be renewed. The sick and wounded of our hospital (but few in
-number just then), were transferred to other quarters, and the wards
-put in order to receive our men from Northern prisons.
-
-
- _Unpleasant Truths._
-
-Can any pen or pencil do justice to those squalid pictures of famine
-and desolation? Those gaunt, lank skeletons with the dried yellow flesh
-clinging to bones enlarged by dampness and exposure? Those pale,
-bluish lips and feverish eyes, glittering and weird when contrasted
-with the famine-stricken faces,—that flitting, piteous, scared smile
-which greeted their fellow creatures, all will live forever before the
-mental vision that then witnessed it.
-
-Living and dead were taken from the flag-of-truce boat, not
-distinguishable save from the difference of care exercised in moving
-them. The Federal prisoners we had released were in many instances in
-a like state, but our ports had been blockaded, our harvests burned,
-our cattle stolen, our country wasted. Even had we felt the desire to
-succor, where could the wherewithal have been found? But the foe,—the
-ports of the world were open to him. He could have fed his prisoners
-upon milk and honey, and not have missed either. When we review the
-past, it would seem that Christianity was but a name—that the Atonement
-had failed, and Christ had lived and died in vain.
-
-
- _Cast your bread upon the waters._
-
-But it was no time then for vague reflections. With beating heart,
-throbbing head and icy hands I went among this army of martyrs
-and spectres whom it was almost impossible to recognize as human
-beings; powerless to speak to them, choking with unavailing pity, but
-still striving to aid and comfort. There was but little variety of
-appearance. From bed to bed the same picture met the eye. Hardly a
-vestige of human appearance left.
-
-
- _Draw the Vail down._
-
-The passion of sympathy could only impede my efforts if yielded to, for
-my hand shook too tremulously even to allow me to put the small morsels
-of bread soaked in wine into their mouths. It was all we dared to give
-at first. Some laid as if dead with limbs extended, but the greater
-part had drawn up their knees to an acute angle, a position they never
-changed until they died. Their more fortunate comrades said that the
-attitude was generally assumed, as it reduced the pangs of hunger and
-relieved the craving that gnawed them by day and by night. The Federal
-prisoners may have been starved at the South, we cannot deny the truth
-of the charge, in many instances; but we starved with them; we had only
-a little to share with any—but the subject had better be left to die in
-silence.
-
-
- _A Common Story._
-
-One among them lingered in patience the usual three days that
-appeared to be their allotted space of life on their return. He was a
-Marylander, heir to a name renowned in the history of his country,[1]
-the last of seven sons reared in affluence, but presenting the same
-bluish, bloodless appearance common to them all. Hoping that there
-would be some chance of his rallying, I gave him judicious nursing
-and good brandy. Every precaution was taken, but the third day fever
-supervened and the little life left waned rapidly. He gave me the
-trinkets cut from gutta percha buttons that he had beguiled his
-captivity in making at Point Lookout, to send to his family, handing me
-one of them for a souvenir; begged that he might be buried apart from
-the crowd in some spot where those who knew and cared for him might
-find him some day, and quietly slept himself to death that night.
-
-
- _A Strange Experience._
-
-The next morning was the memorable 29th September, 1864, when the enemy
-made a desperate and successful attack, taking Fort Harrison, holding
-it and placing Richmond in jeopardy for four hours. The alarm bells
-summoned the citizens together, and the shops being closed to allow
-those who kept them to join the city guards, there were no means of
-buying a coffin, or getting a hearse. It was against the rules to keep
-a body beyond a certain time on the hospital grounds, so little time
-was to be lost if I intended keeping my promise to the dead. I summoned
-a convalescent carpenter from one of the wards, made him knock together
-a rough coffin from some loose boards, and taking the seats out of my
-ambulance had it, with the body enclosed, put in. My driver was at his
-post with the guards, so taking the reins and kneeling in the little
-space at the side of the coffin I started for Hollywood cemetery, a
-distance of five miles.
-
-The enemy were then in sight, and from every elevated point the masses
-of manœuvering soldiers and flash of the enemy’s cannon could be
-distinguished. Only stopping as I passed through the city to buy a
-piece of ground from the old cemetery agent, I reached Hollywood by
-twelve o’clock. Near the burying-ground I met the Rev. Mr. McCabe,
-requested his presence and assistance, and we stood side by side
-while the sexton dug his grave. The rain was pouring in torrents,
-while the clergyman repeated the Episcopal burial service from memory.
-Besides ourselves there but two poor women, of the humblest class
-of life—Catholics, who passing casually, dropped upon their knees,
-undeterred by the rain, and paid their humble tribute of respect to the
-dead.
-
-
- “_We left him alone in his glory._”
-
-He had all the honors of a soldier’s burial paid to him unconsciously,
-for the cannon roared and the musketry rattled, mingling with the
-thunder and lightning of Heaven’s artillery. The sexton held his
-hat over the small piece of paper on which I inscribed his name and
-birthplace (to be put on his headboard) to protect it from the rain,
-and with a saddened heart for the solitary grave we left behind I drove
-back to the city. The reverend gentleman was left at his home, and,
-perhaps, to this day does not know who his companion was during that
-strange hour.
-
-
- _Intense Anxiety._
-
-I found the city in the same state of excitement, for no authentic news
-was to be heard, or received, except perhaps at official quarters; and
-it was well known that we had no troops nearer than Petersburg, save
-the citizens who had enrolled themselves for defense; therefore too
-anxious to return directly to the hospital, I drove to the residence
-of one of the cabinet ministers, where I was engaged to attend a
-dinner, and found the mistress of the establishment, surrounded by
-her servants and trunks preparing for a hasty retreat when necessary.
-Some persuasion induced her to desist, and the situation of the house
-commanding an extensive view of the surrounding country, we watched
-the advance of the enemy from the extreme northeast, for with the
-aid of opera-glasses we could even distinguish the colors of their
-uniforms. Slowly onward moved the bodies of dark blue, emerging from
-and disappearing into the woods, seeming to be skirting around them,
-but not to be diminishing the distance between, although each moment
-becoming more distinct, which proved their advance, while not one
-single Confederate jacket could be observed over the whole sweep of
-ground.
-
-
- _Saved._
-
-Half an anxious hour passed, and then, far away against the distant
-horizon, one single mounted horseman emerged from a thick wood, looked
-cautiously around, passed across the road and disappeared. He was in
-gray, and followed by another and another, winding around and cutting
-off the foe. Then a startling peal at the bell, and a courier brought
-the news that Wade Hampton and his cavalry were close upon the rear
-of the enemy. There was no occasion for fear after this, for General
-Hampton was the Montrose of the Southern army, he who could make any
-cause famous with his pen and glorious with his sword. The dinner
-continued in course of preparation, and was seasoned, when served, by
-spirits brightened by the strong reaction.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Itinerary Labors._
-
-The horrors that attended, in past times, the bombardment of a city,
-were experienced in a great degree in Richmond during the fighting
-around us. The close proximity to the scenes of strife, the din of
-battle, the bursting of shells, the fresh wounds of the men hourly
-brought in were daily occurrences. Walking through the streets during
-this time, after the duties of the hospital were over, when night had
-well advanced, the pavement around the railroad depot would be crowded
-with wounded men just brought in, and laid there waiting for conveyance
-to the receiving hospitals. Some on stretchers, others on the bare
-bricks, or laid on a thin blanket, suffering from wounds hastily
-wrapped around with strips of coarse, unbleached, galling bandages
-of homespun cotton, on which the blood had congealed and stiffened
-until every crease cut like a knife. Women passing accidentally, like
-myself, would put down their basket or bundle, and ringing at the bell
-of neighboring houses, ask for basin and soap, warm water, and a few
-soft rags, and going from sufferer to sufferer, try to alleviate with
-what skill they possessed, the pain of fresh wounds, change the uneasy
-posture, and allay the thirst. Others would pause and look on, till
-the labor appearing to require no particular talent, they too would
-follow the example set them, and occasionally asking a word of advice,
-do their duty carefully and willingly. Idle boys would get a pine
-knot or tallow-dip, and stand quietly and curiously as torch-bearers,
-till the scene, with its gathering accessories formed a strange
-picture, not easily forgotten. Persons driving in different vehicles
-would alight sometimes in evening dress, and choosing the wounded
-most in need of surgical aid, put them in their places, and send them
-to their destination, continuing their way on foot. There was little
-conversation carried on, no necessity for introductions, and no names
-ever asked or given.
-
-
- _A Rose by any other Name._
-
-This indifference to personality was a peculiarity strongly exhibited
-in hospitals, for after nursing a sick or wounded patient for months,
-he has often left without any curiosity exhibited as regarded my name,
-my whereabouts, or indeed any thing connected with me. A case in point
-was related by a friend. When the daughter of our general had devoted
-much time and care to a sick man in one of the hospitals, he seemed to
-feel so little gratitude for the attention paid, that her companion to
-rouse him told him that Miss Lee was his nurse. “Lee, Lee?” he said.
-“There are some Lees down in Mississippi who keep a tavern there. Is
-she one of them Lees?”
-
-
- _Not among the Compliments._
-
-Almost of the same style, although a little worse was the remark of
-one of my sick, a poor fellow who had been wounded in the head and who,
-though sensible enough ordinarily, would feel the effect of the sun on
-his brain when exposed to its influence. After advising him to wear a
-wet paper doubled into the crown of his hat more from a desire to show
-some interest in him than from any belief in its efficacy, I paused at
-the door long enough to hear him ask the ward-master “who that was?”
-“Why, that is the matron of the hospital; she gives you all the food
-you eat, and attends to things.” “Well!” said he, “I always did think
-this government was a confounded sell, and now I am sure of it, when
-they put such a little fool to manage such a big hospital as this.”
-
-The ingenuity of the men was wonderful in making toys and trifles,
-and a great deal of mechanical talent was developed by the enforced
-inaction of hospital life. Every ward had its draught-board and
-draughtsmen cut out of hard wood and stained with vegetable dies,
-and sometimes chessmen would be cut out with a common knife, in such
-ornamentation that they would not have disgraced a drawing-room.
-
-
- _New Uses for the Bible._
-
-One man carved pipes from ivy root, with exquisitely-cut shields on
-the bowls, bearing the arms of the different States and their mottoes.
-He would charge and easily get a hundred and fifty dollars for a
-pipe (Confederate paper was then sixty cents for the dollar), and
-he only used his well-worn pocket-knife. Playing cards—the greatest
-comfort to alleviate the tedium of their sick life—were difficult to
-get a substitute for, so that the original packs had a hard time.
-They became, as may be supposed from the hands which used them, very
-dirty in a short time, and the corners in a particularly disreputable
-condition, but after the diffusion of the Oxford editions of the
-different books of the Bible sent from England as a donation, the
-soldiers took a lesson, and rounded the corners in imitation. A pack of
-cards after four years’ use in a Southern hospital was beyond criticism.
-
-
- _Camp Fashions._
-
-The men had their fashions too, sometimes insisting upon having light
-blue pants drawn for them, and at other seasons preferring gray; but
-while the mania for either color raged, they would be dissatisfied
-with the other. When the quartermaster-general issued canvas shoes
-there was a loud dissatisfaction expressed in constant grumbling, till
-some original genius dyed the whitish tops by the liberal application
-of poke-berries. He was the Brummel of the day, and for many months
-crimson shoes were the rage, and long rows of unshod men would sit
-under the eaves of the wards, all diligently employed in the same labor
-and up to their elbows in red juice.
-
-This fashion died out, and gave place to a button mania. Men who had
-never had a dream or a hope beyond a horn convenience to keep their
-clothing together, saved up their scanty means to replace them with
-gilt, and made neat little wooden shelves with a slit through the
-middle into which the buttons slid, so that they could be cleaned and
-brightened without taking them off, or soiling the jacket. With the
-glitter of buttons came the corresponding taste for gilt bands and
-tinsel around the battered hat, so that while our future was lowering
-darker and darker, our soldiers were amusing themselves like children
-who had no interest in the coming results.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Life was so Sweet._
-
-The duty which of all others pressed most heavily upon me and which
-I never did perform voluntarily was that of telling a man he could
-not live, when he was perhaps unconscious that there was any danger
-apprehended from his wound. The idea of death so seldom occurs when
-disease and suffering have not wasted the frame and destroyed the vital
-energies, that there is but little opening or encouragement to commence
-such a subject unless the patient suspects the result ever so slightly.
-In many cases too, the yearning for life was so strong that to destroy
-the hope was beyond human power. Life was for him a furlough, family
-and friends once more around him; a future was all he wanted, and
-considered it cheaply purchased if only for a month by the endurance of
-any wound, however painful or wearisome.
-
-
- _Difficult Responsibilities._
-
-There were long discussions among those responsible during the war, as
-to the advisability of the frequent amputations on the field, and often
-when a hearty, fine-looking man in the prime of life would be brought
-in minus an arm or leg, I would feel as if it might have been saved,
-but experience taught me the wisdom of prompt measures. Poor food and
-great exposure had thinned the blood and broken down the system so
-entirely that secondary amputations performed in the hospital almost
-invariably resulted in death, after the second year of the war. The
-blood lost on the battlefield when the wound was first received would
-enfeeble the already impaired system and render it incapable of further
-endurance.
-
-
- _Failures._
-
-Once we received a strong, stalwart soldier from Alabama, and after
-five days’ nursing, finding the inflammation from the wound in his
-arm too great to save the limb, the attending surgeon requested me to
-feed him on the best I could command; by that means to try and give
-him strength to undergo amputation. Irritability of stomach as well
-as indifference to food always accompanying gun-shot wounds, it was
-necessary, while the fever continued, to give him as much nourishment
-in as small a compass as possible, as well as easily digestible food,
-that would assimilate with his enfeebled condition. Beef tea he (in
-common with all soldiers and I believe men) would not, or could not
-take, or anything I suggested as an equivalent, so getting his consent
-to drink some “chemical mixture,” I prepared the infusion. Chipping up
-a pound of beef and pouring upon it a half pint of water, the mixture
-was stirred until all the blood was extracted, and only a tea-spoonful
-of white fibre remained; a little salt was added, and favored by the
-darkness of the corner of the ward in which he lay, I induced him to
-swallow it. He drank without suspicion, and fortunately liked it,
-only complaining of its being too sweet; and by the end of ten days
-his pulse was fairly good, and there had been no accession of fever.
-Every precaution was taken, both for his sake and the benefit of the
-experiment, and the arm taken off by the most skillful surgeon we
-had. After the amputation, which he bore bravely, he looked as bright
-and well as before, and so on for five days—then the usual results
-followed. The system proved not strong enough to throw out the “pus”
-or inflammation; and this, mingling with the blood, produced that most
-fatal of all diseases, pyæmia, from which no one ever recovers.
-
-
- _Erin-go-bragh._
-
-He was only one of numerous cases, so that my heart beat twice as
-rapidly as ordinarily whenever there were any arrangements progressing
-for amputation, after any length of time had elapsed since the
-wound, or any effort made to save the limb. The only cases under my
-observation that survived were two Irishmen, and it was really so
-difficult to kill an Irishman that there was little cause for boasting
-on the part of the officiating surgeons. One of them had his leg cut
-off in pieces, amputation having been performed three times, and the
-last heard from him was that he had married a young wife and settled
-on a profitable farm she owned in Macon, Georgia. He had touched
-the boundary lines of the “unknown land,” had been given up by the
-surgeons, who left me with orders to stimulate him if possible. The
-priest (for he was a Catholic) was naturally averse to my disturbing
-what he considered the last moments of a dying man who had made his
-confession and taken his farewell of this world, and which ought to
-have been devoted to less worldly temptations than mint juleps; and a
-rather brisk encounter was the result of a difference of opinion on
-the subject; for if he was responsible for the soul, so was I for the
-body, and I held my ground firmly.
-
-
- _Whiskey_ versus _Religion._
-
-It was hard for an Irishman and a good Catholic to have to choose
-at this supreme moment between religion and whiskey; but though
-his head was turned respectfully towards good Father T—— his eyes
-rested too lovingly on the goblet offered to his lips to allow me to
-make any mistake as to the results of his ultimate intentions. The
-interpretation put by me on that look was that Callahan thought that
-as long as first proof brandy and mint lasted in the Confederacy this
-world was good enough for him, and the result proved that I was not
-mistaken. He always gave me the credit I have awarded to the juleps,
-and until the evacuation of Richmond kept me informed of his domestic
-happiness.
-
- ————
-
-
- _My Furlough._
-
-Though my health up to this time had withstood the bad effects of
-exposure and exertion, the strain had become too great, and the
-constantly recurring agitation which had been excited each day on
-receiving the returned prisoners, had broken me down completely. A
-visit to the surgeon-general with a request for a month’s leave of
-absence, met with a ready acquiescence. The old gentleman was very
-urbane, even making one or two grim jokes, and handed me not only
-permission to leave, but the necessary transportation. Very necessary
-in this case, as traveling expenses were enormously high, and the
-government had seized for the whole month of October the railroads for
-military use, putting a complete stop to private travel.
-
-It had been like tearing body and soul apart, when necessity compelled
-me to leave my hospital, from which I had never been separated but
-one day in nearly four years; and when all arrangements for departure
-had been completed, Miss G. urged, entreated and commanded to keep a
-sharp look-out upon the whiskey, and be alike impenetrable to feints,
-stratagems and entreaties, my heart began to sink. A visit to the wards
-did not tend to strengthen my wavering resolves. The first invalid
-to whom I communicated the news of my intended departure burst into
-a passion of tears, and improved my frame of mind by requesting me
-to kill him at once, for he would certainly die if left. Standing by
-his bedside, unsettled and irresolute, all the details of my daily
-life rose before me. The early and comforting visit to the sick after
-their feverish, restless night; when even if there were no good to be
-effected, they would feel the kindness, and every man’s head would be
-thrust out of the bed-clothes as by one impulse, and jealousy evinced
-when a longer pause by one bedside than another would arouse the
-feeling. Often has the ward-master recalled me when at, the distance
-of a quarter of a mile from his ward, at the request of a patient, and
-when going back to find out what was wanted, a hearty convalescent
-would explain that I had passed through and omitted to speak to him.
-
-
- _Off._
-
-Farewells were exchanged at last, and the 6th October, 1864, found me
-at the Fredericksburg station, _en route_ for Georgia. A search at the
-last moment before stepping into the cars, discovered that my keys,
-together with my watch, had been left at the hospital, while, as an
-equivalent, there remained at the bottom of my basket half a salt
-mackerel (a rare luxury in the Confederacy), begged for a sick man who
-fancied it, a day before, and forgotten in the hurry of packing. I was
-compelled to defer my start until the 7th.
-
-There are some schoolday recollections hanging around the softening by
-Hannibal of a rugged journey by the plentiful application of vinegar;
-but what acid could soften the rigors of that trip to Georgia? They
-can hardly be recounted in any degree of limited space. With the aid
-of two gentlemen, and indeed every disengaged man on the road, a safe
-termination was effected after many days, and a delicious holiday
-passed in idleness and _Confederate_ luxury, free from the wear and
-tear of constantly excited feelings. Then came the stern reflection
-that I had no right to exceed the furlough of thirty days accorded by
-Dr. Moore. A search was immediately made for an escort, which having
-failed, general advice was unanimously given to “go alone,” on the
-grounds that women had become entirely independent at this time, and
-“no man knowing the object of your journey could fail to give you all
-the assistance you would need.”
-
-
- _A Hard Road to Travel._
-
-Fired with this Quixotic sentiment, an early start was made. Finding
-almost immediately that I had not received checks for my trunks, I
-ventured, while the afflatus lasted, to touch a man who sat in front of
-me on the arm, and request him to call the conductor. “I am sorry to
-say that I am not acquainted with him,” was the answer; and down I went
-to zero, never rising again till my journey was accomplished.
-
-Perhaps the details of my trials may give my readers some idea of the
-state of the country at that time. At West Point, which took an hour
-and a half’s travel to reach from Legrange, we had to sleep all night,
-there being no connection for twelve hours. There were no bed-rooms,
-and no candles to be had, and the female travelers sat in the little
-bar of the tavern (the leading hotel being closed) brightened by a
-pine knot, with their feet on the sanded floor, and ate what they had
-provided themselves with from their baskets.
-
-
- _Services not Required._
-
-Another two hours’ travel on to Opelika the next day, and another
-detention for half-a-dozen hours. At Columbus, a rumor that the
-cars had been seized for government transportation made me anxious
-concerning the nature of my ticket, which I found to my dismay was
-not suited to meet the emergency through some inadvertence; so long
-before starting-time I was waiting at the depot seated on my trunk,
-half amused and half mortified at the resemblance thus offered to an
-emigrant Irish servant woman. The place was crowded with invalided
-soldiers, for the government was moving the hospitals to the lower
-part of the State, and idle spectators seeing my evident alarm offered
-all kinds of irrational advice. A suggestion was sensibly made by
-some one that by seeking one of the most helpless of the wounded and
-requesting him to allow me to pass as his nurse my object might be
-effected; but every man to whom I opened my proposals seemed alarmed
-at and opposed to this idea. Towards the last the confusion became
-distracting—everybody calling for the conductor, who possessing no
-power, the cars being under military control, first denied his identity
-and then hid himself.
-
-
- _Friend to the “Faymales.”_
-
-Help came at the last moment in the form of a red-faced, half-tipsy
-Irish porter who had been cheering me on with winks of encouragement at
-my frantic efforts for some time. “Lit me put yer trunks on,” he said,
-and “thin go to Col. Frankland at the rare of the cars—sure he’s the
-man to help the faymales.”
-
-My forlorn hope, Col. Frankland, was standing on the platform at the
-extreme rear of the cars, surrounded by a semi-circle below, about
-twenty-five feet deep, all pressing on to get to seats already too
-full. He was gesticulating and shouting like a madman. The lame, the
-halt, and the blind stood around. Crutches, splints, and huge sticks
-represented a small wood. Green blinds over eyes, raw faces peeled
-from erysipelas, and still showing variegated hues of iodine, gave
-picturesqueness to the scene. Had he borne Cæsar and his fortunes he
-could not have been more interested. For two hours he had been stemming
-this living tide.
-
-
- _A Bold Attempt._
-
-I had met and fraternized with a lady and gentleman, old acquaintances,
-encountered at the depot, who appeared as anxious to get Northward
-as myself; so telling her not to move until I had either achieved my
-object or failed, and if I made her a sign to join me, I took my
-position at the fag end of the crowd below the colonel, and undeterred
-by distance and uproar I essayed a faint call for notice. The sound
-died away in my throat, but my Irish friend (I am sure he took me for
-one of his cousins from the “ould counthrie”), was by my side in an
-instant and repeated the call. A hundred voices took up the refrain, “A
-lady wants to speak to the colonel,” and universal curiosity regarding
-the _private_ nature of my business being exhibited by a profound
-silence I raised my voice as Mause Headrigg said, “like a pelican in
-the wilderness:”
-
-“Col. Frankland, I must get forward on this train to-night. Government
-business requires me to be in Richmond by the 1st November.”
-
-“Can’t do it, Madam. Would like to oblige you, but can’t go against my
-orders. The cars are for the use of sick and wounded soldiers alone.”
-
-
- _None but the fair deserve the brave._
-
-“But Col. Frankland, hundreds of invalids are waiting for their
-breakfast, dinner and supper in Richmond. I am the matron of ——
-hospital.”
-
-“Can’t help it, Madam! If you men there don’t keep away from this
-platform and leave a passage way, I’ll put the front rank under arrest!”
-
-“Oh! Col. Frankland, cannot I stand on the platform, if I am not
-allowed to use the cars?”
-
-“No, Madam, it would be dangerous. Sorry to refuse.”
-
-“Let me go in the freight train.”
-
-“There is no freight train.”
-
-“Well, the box cars? I take very little room.”
-
-“They are crowded, Madam, crowded. Keep off, men, keep off there!”
-
-The steam blew and whistled fearfully and the bell clanged an uproar
-of sound. A passing car came rushing by and my courage was oozing
-fast. “Try him agin!” said my Irish friend, who unable to get near me,
-shouted his secret.
-
-
- _Importance of Hair-Pins._
-
-“Oh! Col. Frankland, excuse my pertinacity, but what _can_ I do? Let
-me go on in the mail car! I will not even open my eyes to look at the
-outside of the letters.”
-
-“Against the law. Cannot be done. How can I infringe upon my orders?
-Will no one keep those confounded men off?”
-
-“_I will_, Col. Frankland, if you will let me get up by your side. I
-will keep every single man away. Now men, keep off, I beg of you, for I
-must get to Richmond, and moreover, I wear very long hair-pins.”
-
-“Thank you, Madam, thank you. Now men, you hear what this lady says,
-and I know she will be as good as her word.” A hundred hands helped
-me up. I looked for my friend the red-nosed Irishman, but he was
-gone. Another moment and my friend stood by my side, assisted by the
-Irishman, who tipped me a comprehensive wink which set my mind at rest
-as regarded the safety of my trunk.
-
-“This is not fair,” said the Colonel. “You promised that no one should
-get on.”
-
-“Oh, no, I promised that not a _single man_ should do so. This is a
-woman. Will you let her husband join her? He is not a _single_ man, for
-he has a wife and nine children!”
-
-The result may be imagined. Our party, very much relieved, were soon
-inside, where we found four comfortable seats reserved for Gen.
-Beauregard and staff, which were unoccupied from those gentlemen being
-detained at Macon.
-
-
- _Another Attempt._
-
-At that city, where we were compelled to pass the night, the same state
-of things existed, and with depressed spirits I drove to the cars to
-see if any arrangement could be effected by which I could pursue my
-journey. The road would not be opened to the traveling public for
-a month, so an effort had to be made. An appeal to the authorities
-resulted as I expected, in defeat, so I again tried my manœuver of
-trying to interest subordinates.
-
-Failing, however, and baffled at every turn, while sitting again upon
-my trunk, the mail agent, standing in the doorway of his car, caught
-my eye. Improving the opportunity, I commenced a conversation, ending
-in an insinuating appeal to be taken into the mail box. Success and
-installation in his little square domicil followed, and my friend,
-passing out without any explanation, locked the door on the outside.
-There were no windows and no light whatever; the hour six in the
-evening.
-
-
- _Frightened at Last._
-
-Seated in loneliness and darkness till the town clock struck eight,
-every fear that could arise in the brain of a silly woman assailed
-me. Did the train I was in go to Augusta, and if not, would I be left
-where I was all night? Was the man who locked me up the mail agent?
-If he came back and robbed and murdered me, would any one ever miss
-me? Having had nothing to eat but a couple of biscuits in twenty-four
-hours, and my brain being, in consequence, proportionately light,
-imagination seized the reins from common sense, which fled in the
-presence of utter darkness and loneliness.
-
-At last the key turned in the lock, and the light of a lantern
-dispelled some of my terrors. The cars started and the agent commenced
-sorting his letters, first bolting us in securely. A couple of hours
-passed and my mind was gradually losing its tone of unpleasant doubt
-as to the wisdom of my proceedings, when my busy companion knocked off
-work and essayed to play the agreeable. He was communicative in the
-extreme, giving me his biography, which proved him to be a Connecticut
-man, and very much dissatisfied with the Confederacy, particularly
-with the state of the money market. So long as he kept to his
-personal recollections all was right, but he soon claimed a return of
-confidence, and grew hourly more patronizing and conversational. His
-tone and manner, the loneliness of the position, and the impossibility
-of any fortunate interruption occurring becoming unbearable at last,
-there is no knowing what I might have ventured to do, in the way of
-breaking out, if the cars had not fortunately run off the track.
-
-
- _All’s well that ends well._
-
-On we bumped, happily on level ground, for two minutes or more; the
-engineer entirely unconscious of the fact and no way of communicating
-with him, as the soldiers were lying over the rope on the top of
-the cars, so that pulling was in vain. At last a pause, and then a
-crowd, and then a familiar name was called, most welcome to my ears.
-I repeated it aloud until the owner was by my side, and the rest of
-the night was spent in asking questions and receiving information. At
-daylight he left me to rejoin his command, while we continued on to
-Augusta.
-
-As usual, when we arrived there no vehicle of any kind met us at the
-depot, but being the only woman in the cars, the mail driver offered
-me a seat upon the mail-bags, and as it was raining I accepted, and in
-this august style reached the hotel by breakfast time. All military
-suspension ceased here, but there was detention for two hours, and this
-was enlivened by an amusing episode at the depot.
-
-
- _Up-country Georgia Eloquence._
-
-Directly in front of me sat an old Georgia up-country woman, placidly
-regarding the box cars full of men on the parallel rails, waiting like
-ourselves to start. She knitted and gazed, and at last inquired “who
-was them ar soldiers, and whar was they a-going to?” The information
-that they were Yankee prisoners startled her considerably. The knitting
-ceased abruptly (all the old women in the Southern States knitted socks
-for the soldiers while traveling), and the Cracker bonnet of dark brown
-homespun was thrown back violently, for her whole nervous system seemed
-to have received a galvanic shock. Then she caught her breath with a
-long gasp, lifted on high her thin, trembling hand, accompanied by the
-trembling voice, and made them a speech:
-
-“Ain’t you ashamed of you-uns,” she piped, “a-coming down here
-a-spiling our country, and a-robbing our hen-roosts? What did we ever
-do to you-uns that you should come a-killing our brothers and sons?
-Ain’t you ashamed of you-uns? What for do you want us to live with
-you-uns, you poor white trash? I ain’t got a single nigger that would
-be so mean as to force himself where he warn’t wanted, and what do
-we-uns want with you? Ain’t you——” but here came a roar of laughter
-from both cars, and shaking with excitement the old lady pulled down
-her spectacles, which in the excitement she had pushed up on her
-forehead, and tried in vain to resume her labors with uncertain fingers.
-
-
- _General Desolation._
-
-From here to Richmond there occurred the usual detentions and trials
-of railroad travel under the existing circumstances. The windows of
-the cars were broken out in many places. Sometimes no fire for want of
-stoves, and the nights damp and chilly. All in utter darkness, for the
-lamps were gone, and could they have been replaced, there would have
-been no oil.
-
-
- _A Woman has an Opinion._
-
-We crawled along, stopping every hour almost, to tinker up some
-part of the car or the road, getting out at times when the conductor
-announced that the travelers must walk “a spell or two,” meaning from
-one to five miles. Crowds of women were getting in and out all the way,
-the male passengers grumbling aloud that “women had better stay at
-home, they had no business to be running around in such times.” This
-was said so often that it became very unpleasant, till the tables were
-turned early one morning at Gainsborough, when a large-sized female
-made her way along the center of the car, looking from right to left in
-the vain search for a seat. None being vacant, she stopped short, and
-addressed the astonished male passengers with more vigor than elegance:
-“What for pity sake do you men mean by running all around the country
-for, instead of staying in the field, as you ought to do? You keep
-filling up the cars so that a woman can’t attend to her business. Your
-place should be opposite the enemy.” This diversion on our behalf was
-received silently, but many seats were soon vacated by their occupants
-on the plea of “taking a little smoke.”
-
-
- _Beaten at Last._
-
-At last, the 1st of November found me weary, hungry, cold and exhausted
-by travel at the Richmond depot, four hours after schedule time; with
-that most terrible scourge, a bad, nervous headache racking me all
-over. The crowd around was immense, so that by the time it opened and
-dispersed sufficiently to let me make my way through, every vehicle had
-left, if there had ever been any there before. As usual, my telegram
-had not been received, so there was no one to meet me, and pain
-rendering me indifferent to appearances I quietly spread my shawl upon
-a bench and myself upon it. For how long I cannot say, but I was roused
-by a voice asking what I wanted, and what was the matter? “Any kind
-of a vehicle to take me home,” was the answer. After a few moments’
-delay my new friend returned with the information that there was only
-a market cart, which if I was willing to ride in, was for hire. If it
-had been a hearse it would have been hailed with welcome. My two trunks
-were put on, and I was deposited on them. The hour, eleven at night.
-
-
- _One of our Future Presidents._
-
-I looked first at the horse. He had a shadowy gray skin stretched
-over his prominent bones, and in the dim, misty light, seemed a mere
-phantom. The driver next came under observation. A little dried-up,
-gray black, old darkey, with a brown rag tied around his head, but like
-all his species he was kindly disposed and respectful. Directions were
-given him to drive to a friend’s house. He said that his horse was too
-tired, but if I were willing, he had another “at his place,” where he
-would drive me and change.
-
-Quite willing, or rather too weary to assert any authority, so on
-we rumbled and rattled almost twice the distance I was first bound,
-changed one skeleton for another, and started again for my friend’s
-house. At last the blessed haven was reached, but the sight of a new
-face to my summons at the door made my heart sink. She had “moved
-yesterday.”
-
-“Drive to Miss G.’s house,” was my next direction, intending to throw
-myself upon her hospitality and charity for the night, for we were out
-of the way of all hotels.
-
-The same result on application. Had all Richmond moved? The fresh air,
-and the necessity for exertion in this novel position had routed my
-headache, and now gave me courage to make a proposition I hadn’t dared
-to make before.
-
-
- _Compromises._
-
-“Could not you drive me to the hospital on the hill?” was my demand
-made in most ingratiating tones.
-
-The old man untied the rag from off his head, and smoothed it on his
-knee by way of ironing out the creases and assisting reflection;
-replaced it, taking up the reins again before he answered, for we were
-now at a stand-still at the Broad street hill.
-
-“Missis,” said he solemnly, “de way it is long, and de bridges dey is
-rotten; but ef you is not afeared to dribe ober dem by you-self, and
-let me git out, and pay me ten dollars, de ole hoss might be consarned
-to go up dis yere hill.”
-
-The bargain was struck, and the hospital reached after midnight. The
-key of my apartments sent for, when the duplicate hair that at last
-broke the camel’s back was laid upon mine.
-
-“Miss G. had taken it with her.”
-
-“Bring a carpenter,” I cried desperately; “and tell him to get a
-sledge-hammer and knock down, or in, anything that will let me get into
-the place. I _must_ have rest.”
-
-The door was broken open; a fire was kindled; a delicious piece of
-cold hard corn-bread found and devoured, and when the warm covering of
-the first bed I had slept in for ten days was drawn around me, all the
-troubles of a hard world melted away, and the only real happiness on
-earth, entire exemption from mental and bodily pain, took possession of
-me.
-
- ————
-
-
- _And Comparisons._
-
-I noticed on my return a great difference in the means of living
-between Virginia and the Gulf States. Even in the most wealthy and
-luxurious houses in Richmond, former everyday comforts had about this
-time become luxuries, and had been dispensed with earlier in the war.
-
-Farther south, they still received from Nassau what they needed, always
-running the risks of losing the cargoes of the blockade-runners,
-therefore duplicating orders. Tea and coffee were first given up at
-the capital, then many used corn flour,—wheat was so high. Gradually
-butter disappeared from the breakfast table, and brown sugar when
-it reached twenty dollars a pound shared the same fate. But no such
-economy appeared necessary where I had been. The air of the people in
-the cars and around the railroad stations was hopeful in the extreme.
-There was no doubt expressed even at this late day, the November of
-1864, as to the ultimate success of the Southern cause.
-
-Their hospitals though did not compare with those I had left in
-Virginia, either in arrangement, cleanliness or attendance. Even as
-early as 1862 the matrons’ places there had been filled by ladies of
-education and refinement; but this with a few exceptions had been the
-rule in Virginia only, and such supervision made a marked difference,
-as may be supposed.
-
-
- _Entire Resumption._
-
-During my absence, the greater portion of the patients I had left a
-month previously had either recovered and left, or died, so that it
-was awkward to resume my duties among strangers. A few days’ visiting
-rectified this however. The happiest welcome I got was from Miss G.,
-who resigned the key of the liquor closet with a sigh which spoke
-volumes. From what could be gathered, she had been equal to the
-occasion, and knowing the hardships of her dragonship I did not press
-her strenuously upon points connected with it.
-
-
- _Christmas Festivities._
-
-The health of the army was now so good, that except when the wounded
-were sent in, we were comparatively idle. That terrible scourge,
-pneumonia, so prevalent early in the war, and so fatal in its typhoid
-form, had almost disappeared. The men had become accustomed and inured
-to exposure. Christmas passed pleasantly. The hospital fund (from the
-great depreciation of the money) being too small to allow us to make
-much festive preparation, the ladies of the city drove out in carriages
-and ambulances laden with good things. The previous years we had been
-enabled to give out of the expenditure of our own funds a bowl of
-egg-nogg and a slice of cake, for lunch, to every man in the hospital,
-as well as his portion of turkey and oysters for dinner; but times were
-more stringent now.
-
-
- _Discussions regarding the Hero._
-
-Soon after New Year, 1865, some members of the committee on hospital
-affairs called to see me, desirous of getting some information
-regarding the use or abuse of liquor, before the bill for the
-appropriations for the coming year would be introduced. There were
-doubts afloat as to whether the benefit conferred upon the patients by
-the use of stimulants counterbalanced the evil effects they produced
-on the surgeons, who were in the habit of making use of them when they
-could get them.
-
-The problem was difficult to solve. A case in point had lately come
-under my observation. A man had been brought into our hospital with a
-crushed ankle, the cars having run over it. He had been attended to,
-and the leg put in splints before we had received him, so as he was
-still heavy and drowsy, possibly from some anodyne administered, the
-surgeon in attendance ordered him to be left undisturbed. The nurse in
-a few hours came to me to say that the man was suffering intensely.
-He had a burning fever, and complained of the fellow leg instead of
-the injured one. The natural idea of sympathy occurred, and a sedative
-given which failed in producing any effect. I determined to look at it
-in spite of orders, his sufferings appearing so great, and finding the
-foot and leg above and below the splint perfectly well, the thought
-of examining the fellow leg suggested itself. It was a most shocking
-sight—swollen, inflamed and purple—the drunken surgeon had set the
-wrong leg! The pain induced low fever, which eventually assumed a
-typhoid form, and the man died. With this instance fresh in my memory
-I hesitated to give any opinion in favor, and yet felt we could not
-manage without the liquor. However, the appropriation was made.
-
-
- _Scribbled Eggs and Flitters._
-
-This poor fellow was the most dependent patient I ever had, and though
-entirely uneducated, won his way to my sympathies by his entire
-helplessness and belief in the efficacy of my care and advice. No
-surgeon in the hospital could persuade him to swallow anything in the
-shape of food unless I sanctioned the order, and a few kindly words, or
-an encouraging nod would satisfy and please him. His ideas of luxuries
-were curious, and his answer to my daily inquiries of what he could
-fancy for food, was invariably the same—he would like some “scribbled
-eggs and flitters.” This order was complied with three times daily,
-until the doctor prescribed stronger food and though many dainties
-were substituted, he still called them by the same name, leading me to
-suppose that “scribbled eggs and flitters” was his generic term for
-food.
-
-
- _Un-chew-able Food._
-
-I made him some jelly—Confederate jelly—with the substitution of
-whiskey for Madeira wine, and citric acid for lemons, but he said “he
-did not like it, there was no chewing on it,” and “it all went, he did
-not know where!” so I gave up trying to tempt his palate.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Culinary Mortifications._
-
-When whole wards would be emptied of their occupants, in compliance
-with changes made to suit certain views of the surgical department, and
-strangers put in, I would always feel a great repugnance to visiting
-them. But when the change became gradual, by the convalescents, in
-twos or threes or half-dozens, being exchanged for invalids, there
-would always be enough men left to whom I was known, to make me feel
-at home, and to inform the newcomers why I came among them, and what
-my duties were. I now found my hospital filled with strangers. They
-were not so considerate as my old friends had been, and looked rather
-with suspicion upon my daily visits. One man amused me particularly by
-keeping a portion of his food every day for my special and agreeable
-inspection, as he thought, and my particular annoyance, as I felt. A
-specimen of everything he thought unpalatable was deposited under his
-pillow, to await my arrival, and the greeting invariably given me was:
-
-“Do you call that good bread?”
-
-“Well no, not very good: but the flour is very dark and musty.”
-
-Another day he would draw out a handfull of dry rice.
-
-“Do you call _that_ properly boiled?”
-
-“That is the way we boil rice in Carolina. Each grain must be
-separated.”
-
-“Well! I won’t eat mine boiled that way.”
-
-
- _Pickles_ versus _Homespun._
-
-And so on through all the details of his food. Somebody he felt
-was responsible, and unfortunately he determined that I should be
-the scapegoat. His companion who laid by his side was even more
-disagreeable than he was. Being a terrible pickle consumer, he indulged
-in such extreme dissipation in that luxury that a check had to be
-put upon his appetite. He attacked me upon this grievance the first
-chance he found, and listened scornfully to my remarks that pickles
-were luxuries to be eaten sparingly and used carefully. “Perhaps,”
-he said at last, “we would have more pickles if you had fewer new
-dresses.” There was no doubt that I wore a new homespun dress, but what
-connection it had with the pickles was rather mysterious. However, that
-afternoon came a formal apology, written in quite an elegant style, and
-signed by every man in the ward, except the pickle man, in which the
-fault of this cruel speech was laid upon the bad whiskey.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Beginning of the End._
-
-All this winter of ’64, the city had been unusually gay. Besides
-parties, private theatricals and tableaux were constantly exhibited.
-Wise and thoughtful men disapproved openly of this mad gayety. There
-was certainly a painful discrepancy between the excitement of dancing
-and the rumble of ambulances that could be heard in the momentary lull
-of the music, carrying the wounded to the different hospitals. Young
-men advocated this state of affairs, arguing that after the fatigues
-and dangers of a campaign in the field, some relaxation was necessary
-on their visits to the capital.
-
-To thinking people this recklessness was ominous; and by the end of
-February, 1865, it began to be felt by them that all was not as safe
-as it was supposed to be. The incessant moving of troops through the
-city from one point to another proved weakness, and the scarcity of
-rations issued told a painful tale. People rated the inefficiency
-of the commissary department, and predicted that a change in its
-administration would make all right. Soon afterwards the truth was told
-me in confidence and under promise of strict secresy. Richmond would
-be evacuated in a month or six weeks. The time might be lengthened or
-shortened, but the fact was established.
-
-
- _Agitations._
-
-Then came the packing up, quietly but surely, of the different
-departments. Requisitions on the medical purveyor were returned
-unfilled, and an order from the surgeon-general required that herbs
-instead of licensed medicines should be used in the hospitals. There
-was a great deal of merriment elicited from the “yarb teas,” drawn
-during this time by the surgeons; few knowing the sad cause of their
-substitution. My mind had been very unsettled as to my course of action
-in view of the impending crash, but my duty prompted me to remain with
-my sick, on the ground that no general ever deserts his troops. But
-to be left by all my friends to meet the dangers and privations of an
-invested city, among antagonistic influences, with the prospect of
-being turned out of my office the next day after the surrender, was not
-a cheering one. Even my home would no longer be open to me; for staying
-with a cabinet minister, he would leave with the government. I was
-spared the necessity of decision by the sudden attack of General Grant,
-and the breaking of the Confederate lines, and before there was time to
-think at all, the government and all its train had vanished.
-
- ————
-
-
- _History._
-
-On the 2nd of April, 1865, while the congregation of Dr. Minnegarode’s
-church in Richmond were listening to his Sunday sermon, a messenger
-entered and handed a telegram to Mr. Davis, then president of the
-Confederate States, who rose immediately, and without any visible signs
-of agitation or surprise, left the church. No alarm was exhibited
-by the congregation, though several members of the president’s
-staff followed him, till Dr. Minnegarode brought the service to an
-abrupt close, and informed his started flock that the city would be
-evacuated shortly, and they would only exercise a proper degree of
-prudence by going home immediately, and preparing for the event. This
-announcement, although coming from such a reliable source, hardly
-availed to convince the Virginians that their beloved capital, assailed
-so often, defended so bravely, surrounded by fortifications on which
-the engineering talents of their best officers had been expended, was
-to be capitulated. Some months before, a small number admitted behind
-the vail of the temple had been apprised that the sacrifice was to be
-accomplished; that General Lee had again and again urged Mr. Davis to
-yield this Mecca of his heart to the interests of the Confederacy, and
-resign a city which required an army to hold it, and pickets to be
-posted from thirty to forty miles around it, weakening his depleted
-army; and again and again had the iron will triumphed, and the foe,
-beaten and discomfited, retired for fresh combinations and fresh troops.
-
-But the hour had come, and the evacuation was only a question of time.
-Day and night had the whistle of cars proved to the anxious people that
-brigades were being moved to strengthen this point or defend that;
-and no one was able to say exactly where any portion of the army of
-Virginia was stationed. That Grant would make an effort to strike the
-South-side railroad—the main artery for the conveyance of food to the
-city—every one _knew_; and that General Lee would be able to meet the
-effort and check it, everybody _hoped_, and while this hope lasted
-there was no panic.
-
-The telegram which reached Mr. Davis that Sunday morning, was to the
-effect that the enemy _had_ struck, and on the weakest point of the
-Confederate lines. It told him to be prepared in event of the repulse
-failing. Two hours after came the fatal news that Grant had forced
-his way through, and that the city must instantly be evacuated. What
-is meant by that simple sentence “evacuation of the city” but few can
-imagine who have not experienced it. The officials of the various
-departments hurried to their offices, speedily packing up everything
-connected with the government. The quartermaster’s and commissary’s
-stores were thrown open and thousands of the half-starved and half-clad
-people of Richmond rushed to the scene.
-
-
- _Picture of the Times._
-
-Delicate women tottered under the weight of hams, bags of coffee, flour
-and sugar. Invalided officers carried away articles of unaccustomed
-luxury for sick wives and children at home. Every vehicle was in
-requisition, commanding fabulous remuneration, and gold or silver the
-only currency accepted. The immense concourse of government employes,
-speculators, gamblers, strangers, pleasure and profit lovers of all
-kinds that had been attached to that great center, the Capital, were
-“packing,” while those who had determined to stay and await the chances
-of war, tried to look calmly on, and draw courage from their faith in
-the justness of their cause.
-
-
- _The Departure._
-
-The wives and families of Mr. Davis and his cabinet had been sent
-away some weeks previously, so that no provision had been made for the
-transportation of any particular class of people. All the cars that
-could be collected were at the Fredericksburg depot, and by 3 o’clock
-P. M. the trains commenced to move. The scene at the station was of
-indescribable confusion. No one could afford to abandon any article of
-wear or household use, when going where they knew that nothing could
-be replaced. Baggage was as valuable as life, and life was represented
-there by wounded and sick officers and men, helpless women and
-children, for all who could be with the army were at their post.
-
-Hour after hour fled and still the work went on. The streets were
-strewn with torn papers, records and documents too burdensome to
-carry away, too important to be left for inspection, and people still
-thronged the thoroughfares, loaded with stores until then hoarded by
-the government and sutler shops.
-
-The scream and rumble of the cars never ceased all that weary night,
-and was perhaps the most painful sound to those left behind, for all
-the rest of the city seemed flying; but while the center of Richmond
-was in the wildest confusion, so sudden had been the shock that the
-suburbs were quiet and even ignorant of the scenes enacting in the
-heart of the city. Events crowded so rapidly upon each other that no
-one had time to spread reports.
-
-
- _Burning of the City._
-
-There was no change in the appearance of the surroundings till near
-midnight, when the school-ship, the _Patrick Henry_, formerly the old
-United States ship _Yorktown_, was fired at the wharf at Rocketts
-(the extreme eastern end of the city). The blowing up of her magazine
-seemed the signal for the work of destruction to commence. Explosions
-followed from all points. The warehouses and tobacco manufactories
-were fired, communicating the flames to the adjacent houses and shops,
-and soon Main street was in a blaze. The armory, not intended to be
-burnt, either caught accidentally or was fired by mistake; the shells
-exploding and filling the air with hissing sounds of horror, menacing
-the people in every direction. Colonel Gorgas had endeavored to spike
-or destroy them by rolling them into the canal, and but for this
-precaution with the largest, the city would have been almost leveled
-to the dust.
-
-
- _Last Scenes._
-
-No one slept during that night of horror, for added to the present
-scenes were the anticipations of what the morrow would bring forth.
-Daylight dawned upon a wreck of destruction and desolation. From the
-highest point of Church hill and Libby hill, the eye could range over
-the whole extent of city and country—the fire had not abated, and
-the burning bridges were adding their flame and smoke to the scene.
-A single faint explosion could be heard from the distance at long
-intervals, but the _Patrick Henry_ was low to the water’s edge and
-Drewry but a column of smoke. The whistle of the cars and the rushing
-of the laden trains still continued—they had never ceased—and the
-clouds hung low and draped the scene as morning advanced.
-
-
- _Taking Possession._
-
-Before the sun had risen, two carriages rolled along Main street, and
-passed through Rocketts just under Chimborazo hospital, carrying the
-mayor and corporation towards the Federal lines, to deliver the keys
-of the city, and half an hour afterwards, over to the east, a single
-Federal blue-jacket rose above the hill, standing transfixed with
-astonishment at what he saw. Another and another sprang up as if out
-of the earth, but still all remained quiet. About seven o’clock, there
-fell upon the ear the steady clatter of horses’ hoofs, and winding
-around Rocketts, close under Chimborazo hill, came a small and compact
-body of Federal cavalrymen, on horses in splendid condition, riding
-closely and steadily along. They were well mounted, well accoutered,
-well fed—a rare sight in Southern streets,—the advance of that vaunted
-army that for four years had so hopelessly knocked at the gates of the
-Southern Confederacy.
-
-
- _Entrance of the Federal Army_
-
-They were some distance in advance of the infantry who followed, quite
-as well appointed and accoutered as the cavalry. Company after company,
-regiment after regiment, battalion after battalion, and brigade after
-brigade, they poured into the doomed city—an endless stream. One
-detachment separated from the main body and marching to Battery No. 2,
-raised the United States flag, their band playing the Star Spangled
-Banner. There they stacked their arms. The rest marched along Main
-street through fire and smoke, over burning fragments of buildings,
-emerging at times like a phantom army when the wind lifted the dark
-clouds; while the colored population shouted and cheered them on their
-way.
-
-Before three hours had elapsed, the troops had been quartered and were
-inspecting the city. They swarmed in every highway and byway, rose out
-of gullies, appeared on the top of hills, emerged from narrow lanes,
-and skirted around low fences. There was hardly a spot in Richmond not
-occupied by a blue coat, but they were orderly, quiet and respectful.
-Thoroughly disciplined, warned not to give offense by look or act, they
-did not speak to any one unless first addressed; and though the women
-of the South contrasted with sickness of heart the difference between
-this splendidly-equipped army, and the war-worn, wasted aspect of their
-own defenders, they were grateful for the consideration shown them; and
-if they remained in their sad homes, with closed doors and windows,
-or walked the streets with averted eyes and vailed faces, it was that
-they could not bear the presence of invaders, even under the most
-favorable circumstances.
-
-
- _Occupation of the City._
-
-Before the day was over, the public buildings were occupied by the
-enemy, and the minds of the citizens relieved from all fear of
-molestation. The hospitals were attended to, the ladies being still
-allowed to nurse and care for their own wounded; but rations could
-not be drawn yet, the obstructions in the James river preventing the
-transports from coming up to the city. In a few days they arrived, and
-food was issued to those in need. It had been a matter of pride among
-the Southerners to boast that they had never seen a greenback, so the
-entrance of the Federal army had thus found them entirely unprepared
-with gold and silver currency. People who had boxes of Confederate
-money and were wealthy the day previously, looked around in vain for
-wherewithal to buy a loaf of bread. Strange exchanges were made on the
-street of tea and coffee, flour and bacon. Those who were fortunate in
-having a stock of household necessaries were generous in the extreme to
-their less wealthy neighbors, but the destitution was terrible.
-
-The sanitary commission shops were opened, and commissioners appointed
-by the Federals to visit among the people and distribute orders to draw
-rations, but to effect this, after receiving tickets, required so many
-appeals to different officials, that decent people gave up the effort.
-Besides, the musty corn-meal and strong cod-fish were not appreciated
-by fastidious stomachs—few gently nurtured could relish such unfamiliar
-food.
-
-
- _Amusements Furnished._
-
-But there was no assimilation between the invaders and invaded. In
-the daily newspaper a notice had appeared that the military bands
-would play in the beautiful capital grounds every afternoon, but when
-the appointed hour arrived, except the Federal officers, musicians
-and soldiers, not a white face was to be seen. The negroes crowded
-every bench and path. The next week another notice was issued that
-the colored population would not be admitted; and then the absence
-of everything and anything feminine was appalling. The entertainers
-went alone to their own entertainment. The third week still another
-notice appeared: “colored nurses were to be admitted with their white
-charges,” and lo! each fortunate white baby received the cherished care
-of a dozen finely-dressed black ladies, the only drawback being that in
-two or three days the music ceased altogether, the entertainers feeling
-at last the ingratitude of the subjugated people.
-
-
- _Wicked Ingratitude._
-
-Despite their courtesy of manner, for however despotic the acts, the
-Federal authorities maintained a respectful manner—the newcomers made
-no advance towards fraternity. They spoke openly and warmly of their
-sympathy with the sufferings of the South, but committed and advocated
-acts that the hearers could not recognize as “military necessities.”
-Bravely-dressed Federal officers met their former old class-mates from
-colleges and military institutions and inquired after the relatives to
-whose houses they had ever been welcome in days of yore, expressing a
-desire to “call and see them,” while the vacant chairs, rendered vacant
-by Federal bullets, stood by the hearth of the widow and bereaved
-mother. They could not be made to understand that their presence was
-painful. There were few men in the city at this time; but the women of
-the South still fought their battle for them: fought it resentfully,
-calmly, but silently! Clad in their mourning garments, overcome but
-hardly subdued, they sat within their desolate homes, or if compelled
-to leave that shelter went on their errands to church or hospital with
-vailed faces and swift steps. By no sign or act did the possessors of
-their fair city know that they were even conscious of their presence.
-If they looked in their faces they saw them not: they might have
-supposed themselves a phantom army. There was no stepping aside with
-affectation to avoid the contact of dress, no feigned humility in
-giving the inside of the walk: they simply totally ignored their
-presence.
-
-
- _Circus and Pictorial Food._
-
-Two particular characteristics followed the army in possession—the
-circus and booths for the temporary accommodation of itinerant venders.
-The small speculators must have supposed that there were no means of
-cooking left in the city, from the quantity of canned edibles they
-offered for sale. They inundated Richmond with pictorial canisters at
-exorbitant prices, which no one had money to buy. Whether the supply of
-greenbacks was scant, or the people were not disposed to trade with
-the new-comers, they had no customers.
-
-
- _Distinguished Visitors._
-
-In a few days steamboats had made their way to the wharves, though
-the obstructions still defied the ironclads, and crowds of curious
-strangers thronged the pavements, while squads of mounted male
-pleasure-seekers scoured the streets. Gayly-dressed women began to
-pour in also, with looped-up skirts, very large feet, and a great
-preponderance of spectacles. The Richmond women sitting by desolated
-firesides were astonished by the arrival of former friends, sometimes
-people moving in the best classes of society, who had the bad taste
-to make a pleasure trip to the mourning city, calling upon their
-heart-broken friends of happier days in all the finery of the newest
-New York fashions, and in some instances forgiving their entertainers
-the manifold sins of the last four years in formal and set terms.
-
-
- _Miracles._
-
-From the hill on which my hospital was built, I had sat all the weary
-Sunday of the evacuation, watching the turmoil, and bidding friends
-adieu, for even till noon many had been unconscious of the events
-that were transpiring, and now when they had all departed, as night
-set in, I wrapped my blanket-shawl around me, and watched below me
-all that I have here narrated. Then I walked through my wards and
-found them comparatively empty. Every man who could crawl had tried
-to escape a Northern prison. Beds in which paralyzed, rheumatic, and
-helpless patients had laid for months were empty. The miracles of the
-New Testament had been re-enacted. The lame, the halt, and the blind
-had been cured. Those who were compelled to remain were almost wild at
-being left in what would be the enemy’s lines the next day; for in many
-instances they had been exchanged prisoners only a short time before.
-I gave all the comfort I could, and with some difficulty their supper
-also, for my detailed nurses had gone with General Lee’s army, and my
-black cooks had deserted me.
-
-
- _Left “alone in my glory.”_
-
-On Monday morning, the day after the evacuation, the first blue
-uniforms appeared at our quarters—three surgeons inspecting the
-hospital. As our surgeon was with them, there must have been an
-amicable understanding. One of our divisions was required for use by
-the new-comers, cleared out for them, and their patients laid by the
-side of our own sick so that we shared with them, as my own commissary
-stores were still well supplied. Three days afterwards an order came to
-transfer my old patients to Camp Jackson. I protested bitterly against
-this, as they were not in a fit state for removal, so they remained
-unmolested. To them I devoted my time, for our surgeons had either then
-left or received orders to discontinue their labors.
-
-Towards evening the place was deserted. Miss G. had remained up to this
-time with me, but her mother requiring her presence in the city, she
-left at sunset, and after I had gone through all my wards, I returned
-to my dear little sitting-room, endeared by retrospection, and the
-consciousness that my labors were nearly over, but had been (as far as
-regarded results) in vain!
-
-
- _Hero re-appears._
-
-The Federal authorities had as yet posted no guards around, and as our
-own had been withdrawn, or rather had left, being under no control or
-direction, not a sound broke the stillness of the sad night. Exhausted
-with all the exciting events of the day, it was not to be wondered at
-that I soon fell asleep heavily and dreamlessly, to be awakened in an
-hour by the crash of an adjoining door, and passing into my pantry from
-whence the sound proceeded I came upon a group of men, who had burst
-the entrance opening upon the back premises. As my eye traveled from
-face to face, I recognized them as a set of “hospital rats” whom I had
-never been able to get rid of, for if sent to the field one week, they
-would be sure to be back the next, on some trifling pretext of sickness
-or disability. The ringleader was an old enemy, who had stored up many
-a grievance against me, but my acts of kindness to his sickly wife
-naturally made me suppose his wrath had been disarmed. He acted on this
-occasion as spokesman, and the trouble was the old one. Thirty gallons
-of whiskey had been sent to me the day before the evacuation, and they
-wanted it.
-
-“We have come for the whiskey!”
-
-“You cannot, and shall not have it.”
-
-“It does not belong to you.”
-
-“It is in my charge, and I intend to keep it. Go out of my pantry; you
-are all drunk.”
-
-“Boys!” he said, “pick up that barrel and carry it down the hill. I
-will attend to _her_!”
-
-
- _Noli me tangere._
-
-But the habit of obedience of four years still had its effect on the
-boys, for all the movement they made was in a retrograde direction.
-
-“Wilson,” I said, “you have been in this hospital a long time. Do you
-think from what you know of me that the whiskey can be taken without my
-consent?”
-
-He became very insolent.
-
-“Stop that talk; your great friends have all gone, and we won’t stand
-that now. Move out of the way!”
-
-He advanced towards the barrel, and so did I, only being in the inside,
-I interposed between him and the object of contention. The fierce
-temper blazed up in his face, and catching me roughly by the shoulder,
-he called me a name that a decent woman seldom hears and even a wicked
-one resents.
-
-But I had a little friend, which usually reposed quietly on the shelf,
-but had been removed to my pocket in the last twenty-four hours, more
-from a sense of protection than from any idea that it would be called
-into active service; so before he had time to push me one inch from
-my position, or to see what kind of an ally was in my hand, that sharp
-click, a sound so significant and so different from any other, struck
-upon his ear, and sent him back amidst his friends, pale and shaken.
-
-
- _Victory Perches on my Banner._
-
-“You had better leave,” I said, composedly (for I felt in my feminine
-soul that although I was near enough to pinch his nose, that I had
-missed him), “for if _one_ bullet is lost, there are five more ready,
-and the room is too small for even a woman to miss six times.”
-
-There was a conference held at the shattered door, resulting in an
-agreement to leave, but he shook his fist wrathfully at my small
-pop-gun.
-
-“You think yourself very brave now, but wait an hour; perhaps others
-may have pistols too, and you won’t have it entirely your way after
-all.”
-
-My first act was to take the head of one of the flour barrels and nail
-it across the door as tightly as I could, with a two-pound weight for
-a hammer, and then, warm with triumph and victory gained, I sat down
-by my whiskey barrel and felt the affection we all bestow on what we
-have cherished, fought for, and defended successfully; then putting a
-candle, a box of matches, and a pistol within reach of my hand, I went
-to sleep, never waking until late in the morning, having heard nothing
-more of my visitors.
-
-
- _Confederate Full Dress._
-
-The next day the steward informed me that our stores had been taken
-possession of by the Federal authorities, so we could not draw the
-necessary rations. The surgeons had all left; therefore I prepared for
-a visit to headquarters, by donning my full-dress toilette: boots of
-untanned leather, tied with thongs; a Georgia woven homespun dress in
-black and white blocks—the white, cotton yarn, the black, an old silk,
-washed, scraped with broken glass into pulp, and then carded and spun
-(it was an elegant thing); white cuffs and collar of bleached homespun,
-and a hat plaited of the rye straw picked from the field back of us,
-dyed black with walnut juice, a shoe-string for ribbon to encircle
-it; and knitted worsted gloves of three shades of green—the darkest
-bottle shade being around the wrist, while the color tapered to the
-loveliest blossom of the pea at the finger-tips. The style of the make
-was Confederate.
-
-
- _Casus belli._
-
-Thus splendidly equipped I walked to Dr. M.’s office, now Federal
-headquarters, and making my way through a crowd of blue coats, accosted
-the principal figure seated there, with a stern and warlike demand for
-food, and a curt inquiry whether it was their intention to starve their
-captured sick. He was very polite, laid the blame on the obstructions
-in the river, which prevented their transports getting up. I requested
-that as such was the case I might be allowed to reclaim my ambulance,
-now under their lock and key, in order to take some coffee then in my
-possession to the city and exchange it for animal food. It had been
-saved from rations formerly drawn, and donations given. He wished to
-know why it had not been turned over to the U. S. government, but
-did not press the point as I was not communicative, and gave me the
-necessary order for the vehicle. Then polite conversation commenced.
-
-
- _The Law of Nations._
-
-“Was I a native of Virginia?”
-
-“No; I was a South Carolinian, who had gone to Virginia at the
-commencement of the war to try and aid in alleviating the sufferings
-and privations of the hospitals.”
-
-“He had lost a brother in South Carolina.”
-
-“It was the fate of war. Self-preservation was the first law of nature.
-As a soldier he must recognize defense of one’s native soil.”
-
-“He regretted the present state of scarcity, for he could see in the
-pale faces and pinched features of the Richmond women, how much they
-had suffered during the war.”
-
-I retorted quickly this wound to both patriotism and vanity.
-
-He meant to be polite, but that he was unlucky was shown by my answer.
-
-“If my features were pinched, and my face pale, it was not caused by
-privations under the Confederacy, but the anguish consequent upon our
-failure.”
-
-But his kindness had once again put my ambulance under my control, and
-placing a bag of coffee and a demijohn of whiskey in it, I assumed
-the reins, having no driver, and went to market. The expedition was
-successful, as I returned shortly with a live calf, for which I had
-exchanged them, and which summoned every one within hearing by its
-bellowing. I had quite won the heart of the Vermonter who had been
-sentry at my door, and though patriotic souls may not believe me, he
-paid me many compliments at the expense of the granite ladies of his
-State. The compliments were sincere, as he refused the drink of whiskey
-my gratitude offered him.
-
-
- _Liberty or Death._
-
-My next visit was to the commissary department of my hospital in search
-of sugar. Two Federal guards were in charge, but they simply stared
-with astonishment as I put aside their bayonets and unlocked the door
-of the place with my pass-key, filled my basket, with an explanation to
-them that I could be arrested whenever wanted at my quarters.
-
-After this no one opposed my erratic movements, the new-comers ignoring
-me. No explanation was ever given to me, why I was allowed to come and
-go, nurse my men and feed them with all I could take or steal. All I
-ever gathered was from one of our errand-boys, who had fraternized with
-a Yankee sutler, who told him confidentially that the Federal surgeon
-in charge thought that woman in black had better go home, and added on
-his own responsibility, “He’s awful afraid of her.”
-
-
- _At Last!_
-
-Away I was compelled to go at last, for my sick were removed to another
-hospital, where I still attended to them. There congregated the ladies
-of the neighborhood, bringing what delicacies they could gather, and
-nursing indiscriminately any patient who needed care. This continued
-till all the sick were either convalescent or dead, and at last my
-vocation was gone, and not one invalid left to give me a pretext for
-daily occupation.
-
-And now when the absorbing duties of the last years no longer demanded
-my whole thoughts and attention, the difficulties of my own position
-forced themselves upon my mind. Whatever food had been provided
-for the sick since the Federal occupation had served for my small
-needs, but when my duties ceased I found myself with a box full of
-Confederate money and a silver ten-cent piece; perhaps a Confederate
-_gage d’amitie_; which puzzled me how to expend. It was all I had for
-a support, so I bought a box of matches and five cocoa-nut cakes. The
-wisdom of the purchase there is no need of defending. Should any
-one ever be in a strange country where the currency of which he is
-possessed is valueless, and ten cents be his only available funds,
-perhaps he may be able to judge of the difficulty of expending it with
-judgment.
-
-
- _The Mother of States._
-
-But of what importance was the fact that I was houseless, homeless
-and moneyless, in Richmond, the heart of Virginia? Who ever wanted
-for aught that kind hearts, generous hands or noble hospitality could
-supply, that it was not there offered without even the shadow of a
-patronage that could have made it distasteful? What women were ever so
-refined in feeling and so unaffected in manner; so willing to share all
-that wealth gives, and so little infected with the pride of purse that
-bestows that power? It was difficult to hide one’s needs from them;
-they found them out and ministered to them with their quiet simplicity
-and the innate nobility which gave to their generosity the coloring of
-a favor received; not conferred.
-
-
- _My Thanks._
-
-I laughed carelessly and openly at the disregard shown by myself for
-the future, when every one who had remained in Richmond, apparently
-had laid aside stores for daily food, but they detected with quick
-sympathy the hollowness of the mirth, and each day at every hour of
-breakfast, dinner and supper, would come to me a waiter, borne by the
-neat little Virginia maid (in her white apron), filled with ten times
-the quantity of food I could consume, packed carefully on. Sometimes
-boxes would be left at my door, with packages of tea, coffee, sugar and
-ham, or chicken, and no clue given to the thoughtful and kind donor.
-
-Would that I could do more than thank the dear friends who made my
-life for four years so happy and contented; who never made me feel by
-word or act, that my self-imposed occupation was otherwise than one
-which would ennoble any woman. If ever any aid was given through my own
-exertions, or any labor rendered effective by me for the good of the
-South—if any sick soldier ever benefited by my happy face or pleasant
-smiles at his bedside, or death was ever soothed by gentle words of
-hope and tender care, such results were only owing to the cheering
-encouragement I received from them.
-
-
- _And Gratitude._
-
-They were gentlewomen in every sense of the word, and though they might
-not have remembered that “_noblesse oblige_” they felt and acted up to
-the motto in every act of their lives. My only wish was to live and die
-among them, growing each day better from contact with their gentle,
-kindly sympathies and heroic hearts.
-
-It may never be in my power to do more than offer my heartfelt thanks,
-which may reach their once happy homes; and in closing these simple
-reminiscences of hospital experience, let me beg them to believe
-that whatever kindness my limited powers have conferred on the noble
-soldiers of their State, has been repaid tenfold, leaving with me an
-eternal, but grateful obligation.
-
- ————
-
-
- _The End._
-
-There is one subject connected with hospitals on which a few words
-should be said—the distasteful one that a woman must lose a certain
-amount of delicacy and reticence in filling any office in them. How can
-this be? There is no unpleasant exposure under proper arrangements, and
-if even there be, the circumstances which surround a wounded man, far
-from friends and home, suffering in a holy cause and dependent upon a
-woman for help, care and sympathy, hallow and clear the atmosphere in
-which she labors. That woman must indeed be hard and gross, who lets
-one material thought lessen her efficiency. In the midst of suffering
-and death, hoping with those almost beyond hope in this world; praying
-by the bedside of the lonely and heart-stricken; closing the eyes of
-boys hardly old enough to realize man’s sorrows, much less suffer by
-man’s fierce hate, a woman _must_ soar beyond the conventional modesty
-considered correct under different circumstances.
-
-If the ordeal does not chasten and purify her nature, if the
-contemplation of suffering and endurance does not make her wiser and
-better, and if the daily fire through which she passes does not draw
-from her nature the sweet fragrance of benevolence, charity, and
-love,—then, indeed a hospital has been no fit place for her!
-
-
-FOOTNOTE:
-
-[1] Richard Hammond Key, grandson of Francis Barton Key, author of
-“Star Spangled Banner.”
-
-
-
-
- * * * * * *
-
-
-
-
-Transcriber’s note:
-
-Obvious punctuation errors have been corrected.
-
-Other errors have been corrected as follows:
-
- Page 75 – “unconsious” changed to “unconscious” (I sat by the boy,
- unconscious himself that any)
-
- Page 105 – “Petersburgh” changed to “Petersburg” (blowing up of the
- mine at Petersburg)
-
- Page 118 – “to go their” changed to “to go to their” (if allowed to
- go to their families)
-
- Page 129 – “Missisippi” changed to “Mississippi” (down in Mississippi)
-
- Page 139 – “Fredericksburgh” changed to “Fredericksburg” (at the
- Fredericksburg station)
-
- Page 166 – “started” changed to “startled” (informed his startled
- flock)
-
- Page 167 – “made” changed to “make” (That Grant would make an effort)
-
- Page 174 – “neighbers” changed to “neighbors” (less wealthy neighbors)
-
-Obsolete spelling that was common for its time has been retained.
-Variations in hyphenation have been regularised if a generally agreed
-usage was observed but left unchanged otherwise.
-
-Page headers that appear in the book are included in this transcribed
-text as section headings.
-
-The single footnote has been re-indexed using a number and moved to the
-end of the book.
-
-The cover image was created by Thiers Halliwell and is placed in the
-public domain.
-
-
-
-***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SOUTHERN WOMAN'S STORY***
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-<body>
-<h1 class="pgx" title="">The Project Gutenberg eBook, A Southern Woman's Story, by Phœbe Yates
-Pember</h1>
-<p>This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States
-and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no
-restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it
-under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this
-eBook or online at <a
-href="http://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you are not
-located in the United States, you'll have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this ebook.</p>
-<p>Title: A Southern Woman's Story</p>
-<p>Author: Phœbe Yates Pember</p>
-<p>Release Date: November 24, 2020 [eBook #63870]</p>
-<p>Language: English</p>
-<p>Character set encoding: UTF-8</p>
-<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SOUTHERN WOMAN'S STORY***</p>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<h4 class="pgx" title="">E-text prepared by Quentin Campbell<br />
- and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br />
- from page images generously made available by<br />
- the Google Books Library Project<br />
- (https://books.google.com)</h4>
-<div class="transnote p4">
-<a id="top" name="top"></a>
-<p class="noindent center bold small">Transcriber’s Note</p>
-<p class="TN-style-1 center">The cover image was created by Thiers
- Halliwell and is placed in the public domain.</p>
-<hr class="r10" />
-<p class="TN-style-1 center">See the <a class="underline" href="#TN">end
- of this document</a> for details of corrections and changes.</p>
-</div>
-<hr class="pgx" />
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<div class="coverimg center-img-cover">
- <img src="images/cover.jpg" alt="cover page" />
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h1><span class="smcap smaller">A</span><br /><br />
-<span class="smcap larger">Southern Woman’s Story</span></h1>
-</div>
-
-<p class="small center bold p6">BY</p>
-
-<p class="large center bold p1">PHŒBE YATES PEMBER,</p>
-
-<div class="center-img-colophon" id="Colophon">
- <img src="images/colophon_on_white-44x30.jpg" width="44" height="30" alt="Colophon" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="large center publisher-info p6">NEW YORK:</p>
-<p class="small center publisher-info">Copyright, 1879, by</p>
-<p class="x-large center publisher-info"><i>G. W. Carleton &amp; Co., Publishers</i>.</p>
-<p class="medium center publisher-info">LONDON: S. LOW, SON &amp; CO.</p>
-<p class="medium center publisher-info">MDCCCLXXIX.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="binder-typesetter-4-browser">
- <div class="typesetter-container">
- <div class="typesetter-address">
- <div class="typesetter-address-line">Samuel Stodder,</div>
- <div class="typesetter-address-line">Stereotyper,</div>
- <div class="typesetter-address-line">90 Ann Street, N. Y.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
- <div class="binder-container">
- <div class="binder-address">
- <div class="binder-address-line">Trow</div>
- <div class="binder-address-line">Printing and Book Binding Co.</div>
- <div class="binder-address-line">N. Y.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="binder-typesetter-4-epub">
- <p class="center">Samuel Stodder,<br />Stereotyper,<br />90 Ann Street, N. Y.</p>
-
- <p class="center p2">Trow<br />Printing and Book Binding Co.<br /> N. Y.</p>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="centered-poetry-container">
- <div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse italic">Whatsoever is beginning that is done by human skill,</div>
- <div class="verse italic">Every daring emanation of the mind’s imperfect will;</div>
- <div class="verse italic">Every first impulse of passion, gush of love or twinge of hate;</div>
- <div class="verse italic">Every launch upon the waters, wide horizoned by our fate;</div>
- <div class="verse italic">Every venture in the chances of life’s sad, aye, desperate game;</div>
- <div class="verse italic">Whatsoever be our object, whatsoever be our aim—</div>
- <div class="verse italic indent1">’Tis well we cannot see</div>
- <div class="verse italic indent1">What the end will be.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="CONTENTS">CONTENTS.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="r5" />
-
-<table class="toc" summary="ToC">
-<tr>
- <td colspan = "2" style="font-size: x-small; text-align: right;">&nbsp;PAGE</td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>Introduction—Women of the South—Startling
-Proposition—First Appearance on any Stage—Petticoat
-Government—Dull, but necessary
-Details—Initiation—“Great Oaks from little
-Acorns grow”—Partnership with Jim—A
-First Venture—“A Rose by any other name,”
-&amp;c.—Snubbed—His Mammy’s Soup—Dissolved
-Partnership with Jim—Explanations—Routine—Mr.
-Jones’ Views—“Sufficient for
-the Day,” &amp;c.—Introduction of Hero—Introduction
-of Hero, The Whiskey Barrel—The
-Hero Captured—Jones’ Indignation,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_11">11</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>Wanted, A Dose of Grammar—Our Daily Trials—The
-Ishmaelite—Mrs. Marthy Brown’s
-Son—A Circular Letter—My First Proposal—Compliments—More
-flattering than agreeable—Compliments
-again—Love unto Death—The
-Silver Cord loosened—A Sweet Pur-ta-a-tur-r—Sober
-Ladies wanted—Delicate Sensibilities—More
-of them—Free and Equal
-American Servant Ladies—Sociable Spittoon—Possession
-Nine and Half Points of Law—Vi<span class="pagenum-1"><a id="Page_8"></a>[8]</span>
-et armis—Spirit of ’63—Not “A Ministering
-Angel, thou”—Work—First Essay—Results—Where
-the Weary are at Rest—“An
-only Son, and my Mother a Widow,”</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_30">30</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>Home Cares and Affections—If not my Son, then
-another Mother’s—Sacred Feelings and bad
-Grammar—Sad Letters—Virginians—Antagonism—The
-wicked Marylanders—Troublesome
-Customers—Good Wine needs
-no Bush—Annoyances—Woman’s Wit wins—The
-Flesh-pots of Egypt,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_60">60</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>Anxieties—No Hope in this World—Dead,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_73">73</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>State Peculiarities and Differences—Tar-Heel
-Tastes—Babies even give up Milk—Our Little
-Romance—Loved and Lost,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_76">76</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>The Conquering Hero comes again—The Hero
-again—Rats, Hopeless Inebriates—What
-Constitutes a Lady?—The Hero again,—and
-again—Military Law Declared—Five
-Minutes’ Grace—The Tables Turned—Concise,
-but not Clear—A Storm Brewing—Diplomatic
-Correspondence—Confusion of
-Tenses—How History is made—Non-intervention—Amende,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_82">82</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>Sadness and Doubts—Sorrow and Privation—No
-Change—Educated Rats—Rat Surgeon—Novel
-Style of catching them,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_98">98</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>No Personal Animosities—The Bitter Blood—A
-Common Sight—A Looking-Glass Wanted—Vaccination—Prisoners
-of War—Unwelcome<span class="pagenum-1"><a id="Page_9"></a>[9]</span>
-Visitors—An Unexpected Gathering—Counterchecks—Checkmated—Unexpected
-and Unwelcome
-Visitor—What shall I do with it?—As
-Godmother—Home-Sickness,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_104">104</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>Spring Operations—Unpleasant Truths—Cast
-your bread upon the waters—Draw the Vail
-down—A Common Story—A Strange Experience—“We
-left him alone in his Glory”—Intense
-Anxiety—Saved,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_119">119</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>Itinerary Labors—A Rose by any other Name—Not
-among the Compliments—New Uses for
-the Bible—Camp Fashions—Life was so
-Sweet—Difficult Responsibilities—Failures—Erin-go-bragh—Whiskey</i>
-versus <i>Religion,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_127">127</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>My Furlough—Off—A Strong-Minded Failure—A
-Hard Road to Travel—Services not Required—Friend
-to the “Faymales”—A Bold
-Attempt—None but the Fair deserve the
-Brave—Importance of hair-pins—Another
-Attempt—Frightened at last—All’s Well that
-ends Well—Up-Country Georgia Eloquence—General
-Desolation—A Woman has an
-Opinion—Beaten at Last—One of our Future
-Presidents—Compromises,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_137">137</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>Comparisons—Entire Resumption—Christmas
-Festivities—Discussions regarding the Hero—Scribbled
-Eggs and Flitters—Un-chewable
-Food,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_156">156</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>Culinary Mortifications—Pickles</i> versus <i>Homespun,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_161">161</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><span class="pagenum-1"><a id="Page_10"></a>[10]</span><i>Beginning of the End—Agitations—History—Picture
-of the Times—The Departure—Burning
-of the City—Last Scenes—Taking Possession—Entrance
-of the Federal Army—Occupation
-of the City—Amusements Furnished—Wicked
-Ingratitude—Circus and
-Pictorial Food—Distinguished Visitors—Miracles—Left
-“alone in my glory”—Hero
-re-appears—Noli me tangere—Victory
-Perches on my Banner—Confederate Full
-Dress—Casus belli—The Law of Nations—Liberty
-or Death—At Last!—The Mother of
-States—My Thanks—And Gratitude,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_163">163</a></td>
-</tr><tr>
- <td><p class="hangtoc"><i>The End,</i></p></td>
- <td class="toc-page-number"><a href="#Page_191">191</a></td>
-</tr>
-</table>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_11"></a>[11]</span></p>
-
-<div class="center-img-scrollwork" id="Scrollwork">
- <img src="images/pg11_scrollwork.jpg" width="1556" height="454" alt="Scrollwork" />
-</div>
-
-<h2><span class="smcap smaller">A</span><br /><br />
-<span class="smcap larger">SOUTHERN WOMAN’S STORY</span>.</h2>
-
-<hr class="r5" />
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Introduction.</i></div>
-
-
-<p>Soon after the breaking out of the Southern
-war, the need of hospitals, properly organized
-and arranged, began to be felt, and buildings
-adapted for the purpose were secured by government.
-Richmond, being nearest the scene
-of action, took the lead in this matter, and
-the formerly hastily contrived accommodations
-for the sick were soon replaced by larger, more
-comfortable and better ventilated buildings.</p>
-
-<p>The expense of keeping up small hospitals
-had forced itself upon the attention of the
-surgeon-general, Moore, who on that account
-gradually incorporated them into half-a-dozen
-immense establishments, strewn around the
-suburbs. These were called Camp Jackson,
-Camp Winder, Chimborazo Hospital, Stuart<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_12"></a>[12]</span>
-Hospital and Howard Grove; and were arranged
-so that from thirty to forty wards
-formed a division, and generally five divisions a
-hospital. Each ward accommodated from thirty
-to forty patients, according to the immediate
-need for space. Besides the sick wards, similar
-buildings were used for official purposes, for in
-these immense establishments every necessary
-trade was carried on. There were the carpenter’s,
-blacksmith’s, apothecary’s and shoemaker’s
-shops; the ice houses, commissary’s
-and quartermaster’s departments; and offices
-for surgeons, stewards, baggage-masters and
-clerks. Each division was furnished with all
-these, and each hospital presented to the eye
-the appearance of a small village.</p>
-
-<p>There was no reason why, with this preparation
-for the wounded and sick, that they should
-not have received all the benefit of good nursing
-and food; but soon rumors began to circulate
-that there was something wrong in hospital
-administration, and Congress, desirous of remedying
-omissions, passed a law by which matrons
-were appointed. They had no official recognition,
-ranking even below stewards from a<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_13"></a>[13]</span>
-military point of view. Their pay was almost
-nominal from the depreciated nature of the
-currency. There had been a great deal of
-desultory visiting and nursing, by the women,
-previous to this law taking effect, resulting in
-more harm than benefit to the patients; and
-now that the field was open, a few, very few
-ladies, and a great many inefficient and uneducated
-women, hardly above the laboring classes,
-applied for and filled the offices.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Women of the South.</i></div>
-
-<p>The women of the South had been openly
-and violently rebellious from the moment they
-thought their States’ rights touched. They incited
-the men to struggle in support of their
-views, and whether right or wrong, sustained
-them nobly to the end. They were the first to
-rebel—the last to succumb. Taking an active
-part in all that came within their sphere, and
-often compelled to go beyond this when the
-field demanded as many soldiers as could be
-raised; feeling a passion of interest in every
-man in the gray uniform of the Confederate
-service; they were doubly anxious to give comfort
-and assistance to the sick and wounded.
-In the course of a long and harassing war, with<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_14"></a>[14]</span>
-ports blockaded and harvests burnt, rail tracks
-constantly torn up, so that supplies of food
-were cut off, and sold always at exorbitant
-prices, no appeal was ever made to the women
-of the South, individually or collectively, that
-did not meet with a ready response. There was
-no parade of generosity; no published lists of
-donations, inspected by public eyes. What
-was contributed was given unostentatiously,
-whether a barrel of coffee or the only half
-bottle of wine in the giver’s possession.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Startling Proposition.</i></div>
-
-<p>About this time one of these large hospitals
-was to be opened, and the wife of the then acting
-secretary of war offered me the superintendence—rather
-a startling proposition to a
-woman used to all the comforts of luxurious
-life. Foremost among the Virginia women, she
-had given her resources of mind and means to
-the sick, and her graphic and earnest representations
-of the benefit a good and determined
-woman’s rule could effect in such a position
-settled the result in my mind. The natural
-idea that such a life would be injurious to the
-delicacy and refinement of a lady—that her
-nature would become deteriorated and her<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_15"></a>[15]</span>
-sensibilities blunted, was rather appalling.
-But the first step only costs, and that was soon
-taken.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>First Appearance on any Stage.</i></div>
-
-<p>A preliminary interview with the surgeon-in-chief
-gave necessary confidence. He was energetic—capable—skillful.
-A man with ready
-oil to pour upon troubled waters. Difficulties
-melted away beneath the warmth of his ready
-interest, and mountains sank into mole-hills
-when his quick comprehension had surmounted
-and leveled them. However troublesome daily
-increasing annoyances became, if they could
-not be removed, his few and ready words sent
-applicants and grumblers home satisfied to do
-the best they could. Wisely he decided to
-have an educated and efficient woman at the
-head of his hospital, and having succeeded,
-never allowed himself to forget that fact.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Petticoat Government.</i></div>
-
-<p>The day after my decision was made found
-me at “headquarters,” the only two-story
-building on hospital ground, then occupied by
-the chief surgeon and his clerks. He had not
-yet made his appearance that morning, and
-while awaiting him, many of his corps, who had
-expected in horror the advent of female supervision,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_16"></a>[16]</span>
-walked in and out, evidently inspecting
-me. There was at that time a general ignorance
-on all sides, except among the hospital
-officials, of the decided objection on the part of
-the latter to the carrying out of a law which
-they prognosticated would entail “petticoat
-government;” but there was no mistaking the
-stage-whisper which reached my ears from the
-open door of the office that morning, as the
-little contract surgeon passed out and informed
-a friend he met, in a tone of ill-concealed disgust,
-that “<i>one of them had come</i>.”</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Dull, but necessary Details.</i></div>
-
-<p>To those not acquainted with hospital arrangements,
-some explanations are necessary.
-To each hospital is assigned a surgeon-in-chief.
-To each <i>division</i> of the hospital, a surgeon in
-charge. To each <i>ward</i> of the division, an
-assistant surgeon. But when the press of business
-is great, contract doctors are also put in
-charge of wards. The surgeon-in-chief makes
-an inspection each day, calling a board of inferior
-surgeons to make their report to him.
-The surgeon in charge is always on the ground,
-goes through the wards daily, consulting with
-his assistants and reforming abuses, making<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_17"></a>[17]</span>
-his report daily to the surgeon-in-chief. The
-assistant surgeon has only his one or two wards
-to attend, passing through them twice each
-day and prescribing. In cases of danger he
-calls in the surgeon in charge for advice or
-assistance. The contract surgeons performed
-the same duties as assistant surgeons, but
-ranked below them, as they were not commissioned
-officers and received less pay. Each
-ward had its corps of nurses, unfortunately not
-practised or expert in their duties, as they had
-been sick or wounded men, convalescing and
-placed in that position,—however ignorant they
-might be,—till strong enough for field duty.
-This arrangement bore very hard upon all interested,
-and harder upon the sick, as it entailed
-constant supervision and endless teaching; but
-the demand for men in the field was too imperative
-to allow those who were fit for their
-duties there to be detained for nursing purposes,
-however skillful they may have become.</p>
-
-<p>Besides these mentioned, the hospital contained
-an endless horde of stewards and their
-clerks; surgeons’ clerks; commissaries and their
-clerks; quartermasters and clerks; apothecaries<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_18"></a>[18]</span>
-and clerks; baggage-masters; forage-masters;
-wagon-masters; cooks; bakers; carpenters;
-shoemakers; ward-inspectors; ambulance-drivers;
-and many more; forgotten hangers-on, to
-whom the soldiers gave the name of “hospital
-rats” in common with would-be invalids who
-resisted being cured from a disinclination to
-field service. They were so called, it is to be
-supposed, from the difficulty of getting rid of
-either species. Still, many of them were physically
-unfit for the field.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Initiation.</i></div>
-
-<p>Among these conflicting elements, all belittled
-at a time of general enthusiasm by long
-absence from the ennobling influences of military
-service, and all striving with rare exceptions
-to gain the small benefits and rare comforts
-so scarce in the Confederacy, I was introduced
-that day by the surgeon in charge. He was a
-cultivated, gentlemanly man, kind-hearted when
-he remembered to be so, and very much afraid
-of any responsibility resting upon his shoulders.
-No preparations had been made by him for his
-female department. He escorted me into a long,
-low, whitewashed building, open from end to
-end, called for two benches, and then, with entire<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_19"></a>[19]</span>
-composure, as if surrounding circumstances
-were most favorable, commenced an æsthetic
-conversation on <i>belles lettres</i>, female influence,
-and the first, last and only novel published during
-the war. (It was a translation of <i>Joseph the
-Second</i>, printed on gray and bound in marbled
-wall-paper.) A neat compliment offered at
-leave-taking rounded off the interview, with a
-parting promise from him to send me the carpenter
-to make partitions and shelves for office,
-parlor, laundry, pantry and kitchen. The steward
-was then summoned for consultation, and
-my representative reign began.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote">“<i>Great Oaks from little Acorns grow.</i>”</div>
-
-<p>A stove was unearthed; very small, very
-rusty, and fit only for a family of six. There
-were then about six hundred men upon the
-matron’s diet list, the illest ones to be supplied
-with food from my kitchen, and the convalescents
-from the steward’s, called, in contra-distinction
-from mine, “the big kitchen.” Just
-then my mind could hardly grope through the
-darkness that clouded it, as to what were my
-special duties, but one mental spectrum always
-presented itself—<i>chicken soup</i>.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Partnership with Jim.</i></div>
-
-<p>Having vaguely heard of requisitions, I then<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_20"></a>[20]</span>
-and there made my first, in very unofficial style.
-A polite request sent through “Jim” (a small
-black boy) to the steward for a pair of
-chickens. They came instantly ready dressed
-for cooking. Jim picked up some shavings,
-kindled up the stove, begged, borrowed or stole
-(either act being lawful to his mind), a large
-iron pot from the big kitchen. For the first
-time I cut up with averted eyes a raw bird, and
-the Rubicon was passed.</p>
-
-<p>My readers must not suppose that this picture
-applies generally to all our hospitals, or
-that means and appliances so early in the war
-for food and comfort, were so meagre. This
-state of affairs was only the result of accident
-and some misunderstanding. The surgeon of
-my hospital naturally thought I had informed
-myself of the power vested in me by virtue of
-my position, and, having some experience,
-would use the rights given me by the law
-passed in Congress, to arrange my own department;
-and I, on reading the bill, could only
-understand that the office was one that dovetailed
-the duties of housekeeper and cook,
-nothing more.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>A First Venture.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_21"></a>[21]</span>In the meantime the soup was boiling, and
-was undeniably a success, from the perfume it
-exhaled. Nature may not have intended me
-for a Florence Nightingale, but a kitchen
-proved my worth. Frying-pans, griddles, stew-pans
-and coffee-pots soon became my household
-gods. The niches must have been prepared
-years previously, invisible to the naked
-eye but still there.</p>
-
-<p>Gaining courage from familiarity with my
-position, a venture across the lane brought me
-to the nearest ward (they were all separate
-buildings, it must be remembered, covering a
-half mile of ground in a circle, one story high,
-with long, low windows opening back in a
-groove against the inside wall), and, under the
-first I peeped in, lay the shadow of a man extended
-on his bed, pale and attennuated.</p>
-
-<p>What woman’s heart would not melt and
-make itself a home where so much needed?</p>
-
-<p>His wants were inquired into, and, like all
-the humbler class of men, who think that unless
-they have been living on hog and hominy they
-are starved, he complained of not having eaten
-anything “for three mortal weeks.”</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote">“<i>A Rose by any other name,” &amp;c.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_22"></a>[22]</span>In the present state of the kitchen larder,
-there was certainly not much of a choice, and I
-was as yet ignorant of the capabilities of the
-steward’s department. However, soup was suggested,
-as a great soother of “misery in his
-back,” and a generous supply of adjectives
-prefixed for flavor—“nice, hot, good chicken
-soup.” The suggestion was received kindly.
-If it was very nice he would take some: “he
-was never, though, much of a hand for drinks.”
-My mind rejected the application of words, but
-matter not mind, was the subject under consideration.</p>
-
-<p>All my gastronomic experience revolted
-against soup without the sick man’s parsley;
-and Jim, my acting partner, volunteered to get
-some at a mysterious place he always called
-“The Dutchman’s,” so at last, armed with a
-bowl full of the decoction, duly salted, peppered,
-and seasoned, I again sought my first
-patient.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Snubbed.</i></div>
-
-<p>He rose deliberately—so deliberately that I
-felt sensible of the great favor he was conferring.
-He smoothed his tangled locks with a
-weak hand, took a piece of well-masticated<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_23"></a>[23]</span>
-tobacco from between three or four solitary
-teeth, but still the soup was unappropriated,
-and it appeared evident that some other preliminaries
-were to be arranged. The novelty of
-my position, added to a lively imagination, suggested
-fears that he might think it necessary to
-arise for compliment sake; and hospital clothing
-being made to suit the scarcity and expense
-of homespun, the idea was startling. But my
-suspense did not continue long; he was only
-seeking for a brown-covered tract hid under his
-pillow.</p>
-
-<p>Did he intend to read grace before meat?
-No, he simply wanted a pocket-handkerchief,
-which cruel war had denied; so without comment
-a leaf was quietly abstracted and used for
-that purpose. The result was satisfactory, for
-the next moment the bowl was taken from my
-hand, and the first spoonful of soup transmitted
-to his mouth.</p>
-
-<p>It was an awful minute! My fate seemed to
-hang upon the fiat of that uneducated palate.
-A long painful gulp, a “judgmatical” shake
-of the head, <i>not</i> in the affirmative, and the bowl
-traveled slowly back to my extended hand.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>His Mammy’s Soup.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_24"></a>[24]</span>“My mammy’s soup was not like that,” he
-whined. “But I might worry a little down if
-it war’n’t for them <i>weeds</i> a-floating round.”</p>
-
-<p>Well! why be depressed? There may not
-after all be any actual difference between weeds
-and herbs.</p>
-
-<p>After that first day improvements rapidly
-progressed. Better stoves, and plenty of them,
-were put up; closets enclosed; china or its
-substitutes, pottery and tin, supplied. I learned
-to make requisitions and to use my power.
-The coffee, tea, milk, and all other luxuries
-provided for the sick wards, were, through my
-demand, turned over to me; also a co-laborer
-with Jim, that young gentleman’s disposition
-proving to be like my old horse, who pulled
-well and steadily in single harness, but when
-tried in double team, left all the hard work to
-the last comer. However, honor to whom
-honor is due. He gave me many hints which
-my higher intelligence had overlooked, comprehended
-by him more through instinct than
-reason, and was as clever at gathering trophies
-for my kitchen as Gen. Butler was—for other
-purposes.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Dissolved Partnership with Jim.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_25"></a>[25]</span>Still my office did not rise above that of chief
-cook, for I dared not leave my kitchen unattended
-for a moment, till Dr. M., one day,
-passing the window, and seeing me seated on a
-low bench peeling potatoes, appeared much surprised,
-and inquired where my cooks were.
-Explanations followed, a copy of hospital rules
-were sent for, and authority found to provide
-the matron’s department with suitable attendants.
-A gentle, sweet-tempered lady, extremely
-neat and efficient, was appointed
-assistant matron, also three or four cooks and
-bakers. Jim and his companion were degraded
-into drawers of water and hewers of wood; that
-is to say, these ought to have been their duties,
-but their occupation became walking gentlemen.
-On assuming their out-door labors, their
-allegiance to me ceased, and the trophies which
-formerly swelled my list of dainties for the
-sick were nightly carried “down the hill,”
-where everything that was missed disappeared.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Explanations.</i></div>
-
-<p>Then began the routine of hospital life in
-regular order. Breakfast at seven in the morning
-in summer and eight in winter. Coffee, tea,
-milk, bread of various kinds, and butter or<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_26"></a>[26]</span>
-molasses, and whatever meats could be saved
-from the yesterday’s dinner. This was in the
-first year of the war. Afterwards we were not
-able to be so luxurious. The quantity supplied
-would be impartially divided among the
-wards with the retention of the delicacies for
-the very ill men.</p>
-
-<p>The ward-masters with their nurses gathered
-three times a day, for each meal, around my
-office window adjoining the kitchen, with large
-wooden trays and piles of plates, waiting to
-receive the food, each being helped in turn to a
-fair division. If an invalid craved any particular
-dish the nurse mentioned the want, and if
-not contrary to the surgeon’s order, it, or its
-nearest approximation was allowed him.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Routine.</i></div>
-
-<p>After breakfast the assistant surgeons
-visited their respective wards, making out their
-diet lists, or rather filling them up, for the
-forms were printed, and only the invalid’s
-name, number of his bed, and his diet—light,
-half, or full, were required to be
-specified, also the quantity of whiskey desired
-for each. Dinner and supper served in the
-same way, except for the very sick. They had<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_27"></a>[27]</span>
-what they desired, in or out of season, and all
-seemed to object to the nutriment concocted
-from those tasteless and starchy compounds of
-wheat, corn and arrowroot, that are so thick
-and heavy to swallow, and so little nutritious.
-They were served hot from the fire, or congealed
-from the ice (for after the suffering
-caused from the deprivation of ice the first
-summer of the war was felt, each hospital built
-its own ice-house, which was well filled by the
-next season). At two o’clock the regular dinner
-of poultry, beef, ham, fish and vegetables, was
-distributed. (After the first year our bill of fare
-decreased much in variety.) Supper at six. The
-chief matron sat at her table, the diet lists arranged
-before her, each day, and managed so
-that no especial ward should invariably be the
-first served, although they were named in
-alphabetical order. Any necessary instructions
-of the surgeons were noted and attended to,
-sometimes accompanied with observations of
-her own, not always complimentary to those
-gentlemen, nor prudent as regarded herself.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Mr. Jones’ Views.</i></div>
-
-<p>The orders ran somewhat in this fashion:
-“Chicken soup for twenty—beef tea for forty—tea<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_28"></a>[28]</span>
-and toast for fifty.” A certain Mr. Jones
-had expressed his abhorrence of tea and toast,
-so I asked the nurse why he gave it to him.</p>
-
-<p>He answered that the diet was ordered by
-the surgeon, but Jones said he would not touch
-it, for he never ate slops, and so he had eaten
-nothing for two days.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, what does he wish?”</p>
-
-<p>“The doctor says tea and toast” (reiterating
-his first remark).</p>
-
-<p>“Did you tell the doctor he would not eat
-it?”</p>
-
-<p>“<i>I</i> told the doctor, and <i>he</i> told the doctor.”</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps he did not hear, or understand
-you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, he did. He only said that he wanted
-that man particularly to have tea and toast,
-though I told him Jones threw it up regularly;
-so he put it down again, and said Jones was
-out of his head, and Jones says the doctor is
-a fool.”</p>
-
-<p>My remark upon this was that Jones could
-not be so very much out of his head—an observation
-that entailed subsequent consequences.
-The habit so common among physicians when<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_29"></a>[29]</span>
-dealing with uneducated people, of insisting
-upon particular kinds of diet, irrespective of
-the patient’s tastes, was a peculiar grievance
-that no complaint during four years ever
-remedied.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote">“<i>Sufficient for the Day,” &amp;c.</i></div>
-
-<p>Although visiting my wards in the morning
-for the purpose of speaking words of comfort
-to the sick, and remedying any apparent evils
-which had been overlooked or forgotten by the
-surgeons when going their rounds, the fear
-that the nourishment furnished had not suited
-the tastes of men debilitated to an extreme not
-only by disease and wounds, but also by the
-privations and exposures of camp life, would
-again take me among them in the afternoon.
-Then would come heart-sickness and discouragement,
-for out of a hundred invalids, seventy,
-on an average, would assert that they had not
-taken any nourishment whatever. This was
-partly owing to habit or imitation of others,
-and partly to the human desire to enlist sympathy.
-The common soldier has a horror of a
-hospital, and with the rejection of food comes
-the hope that weakness will increase proportionally,
-and a furlough become necessary.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_30"></a>[30]</span>Besides, the human palate, to relish good food,
-must be as well educated as other organs for
-other purposes. Who appreciates a good
-painting until his eye is trained, or fine harmony
-until the ear is cultivated?—and why
-should not the same rule apply to tongue and
-taste? Men who never before had been sick, or
-swallowed those starchy, flavorless compounds
-young surgeons are so fond of prescribing,
-repudiated them invariably, in spite of my
-skill in making them palatable. They were
-suspicious of the <i>terra incognita</i> from which
-they sprang, having had no experience heretofore,
-and suspicion always engenders disgust.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Introduction of Hero.</i></div>
-
-<p>Daily inspection too, convinced me that
-great evils still existed under my rule, in spite
-of my zealous care for my patients. For example,
-the monthly barrel of whiskey which I
-was entitled to draw still remained at the dispensary
-under the guardianship of the apothecary
-and his clerks, and quarts and pints were
-issued through any order coming from surgeons
-or their substitutes, so that the contents were
-apt to be gone long before I was entitled to draw
-more, and my sick would suffer for want of the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_31"></a>[31]</span>
-stimulant. There were many suspicious circumstances
-connected with this <i>institution</i>;
-for the monthly barrel was an institution and
-a very important one. Indeed, if it is necessary
-to have a hero for this matter-of-fact narrative
-the whiskey barrel will have to step forward
-and make his bow.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Introduction of Hero—The Whiskey Barrel.</i></div>
-
-<p>So again I referred to the hospital bill passed
-by Congress, which provided that liquors in
-common with other luxuries, belonged to the
-matron’s department, and in an evil moment,
-such an impulse as tempted Pandora to open
-the fatal casket assailed me, and I despatched
-the bill, flanked by a formal requisition for the
-liquor. An answer came in the shape of the
-head surgeon. He declared I would find “the
-charge most onerous,” that “whiskey was required
-at all hours, sometimes in the middle of
-the night, and even if I remained at the hospital,
-he would not like me to be disturbed,” “it
-was constantly needed for medicinal purposes,”
-“he was responsible for its proper application;”
-but I was not convinced, and withstood
-all argument and persuasion. He was proverbially
-sober himself, but I was aware why both<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_32"></a>[32]</span>
-commissioned and non-commissioned officers opposed
-violently the removal of the liquor to
-my quarters. So, the printed law being at hand
-for reference, I nailed my colors to the mast,
-and that evening all the liquor was in my pantry
-and the key in my pocket.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>The Hero Captured.</i></div>
-
-<p>The first restraints of a woman’s presence
-had now worn away, and the thousand miseries
-of my position began to make themselves
-felt. The young surgeons (not all gentlemen,
-although their profession should have made
-them aspirants to the character), and the nurses
-played into each other’s hands. If the former
-were off on a frolic, the latter would conceal
-the absence of necessary attendance by erasing
-the date of the diet list of the day before, and
-substituting the proper one, duplicating the
-prescription also, and thus preventing inquiry.
-In like manner the assistant surgeons, to whom
-the nurses were alone responsible, would give
-them leave of absence, concealing the fact from
-the head surgeon, which could easily be
-effected; then the patients would suffer, and
-complaints from the matron be obnoxious and
-troublesome, and also entirely out of her line<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_33"></a>[33]</span>
-of business. She was to be cook and housekeeper,
-and nothing more. Added now to
-other difficulties was the dragonship of the
-Hesperides,—the guarding of the liquefied
-golden fruit to which access had been open to
-a certain extent before her reign,—and for
-many, many months the petty persecutions
-endured from all the small fry around almost
-exceeded human patience to bear. What the
-surgeon in charge could do to mitigate the
-annoyances entailed he conscientiously did;
-but with the weight of a large hospital on his
-not very strong mind, and very little authority
-delegated to him, he could hardly reform
-abuses or punish silly attacks, so small in the
-abstract, so great in the aggregate.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Jones’ Indignation.</i></div>
-
-<p>The eventful evening when Mr. Jones revolted
-against tea and toast, my unfortunate
-remark intended for no particular ear but
-caught by the nurse, that the patient’s intellects
-could not be confused if he called his
-surgeon a fool, brought forth a recriminating
-note to me. It was from that maligned and
-incensed gentleman, and proved the progenitor
-of a long series of communications of the same<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_34"></a>[34]</span>
-character; a family likeness pervading them
-all. They generally commenced with “Dr. ——
-presents his compliments to the chief matron,”
-continuing with “Mrs. —— and I,” and ending
-with “you and him.” They were difficult
-to understand, and more difficult to endure.
-Accustomed to be treated with extreme deference
-and courtesy by the highest officials connected
-with the government, moving in the
-same social grade I had always occupied when
-beyond hospital bounds, the change was
-appalling.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Wanted.—A Dose of Grammar.</i></div>
-
-<p>The inundation of notes that followed for
-many months could not have been sent back
-unopened, the last refuge under the circumstances,
-for some of them might have related
-to the well-being of the sick. My pen certainly
-was ready enough, but could I waste my thunderbolts
-in such an atmosphere?</p>
-
-<p>The depreciated currency, which purchased
-only at fabulous prices by this time; the poor
-pay the government (feeling the necessary of
-keeping up the credit of its paper) gave to its
-officials; the natural craving for luxuries that
-had been but common food before the war,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_35"></a>[35]</span>
-caused appeals to be made to me, sometimes for
-the applicant, oftener for his sick wife or child,
-so constantly, that had I given even one-tenth
-of the gifts demanded there would have been
-but little left for my patients.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Daily Trials.</i></div>
-
-<p>It was hard to refuse, for the plea that it
-was not mine but merely a charge confided to
-me, was looked upon as a pretext; outsiders
-calculating upon the quantity issued to my
-department and losing sight of the ownership of
-the quantity received.</p>
-
-<p>Half a dozen convalescent men would lose
-their tasteless dinner daily at the steward’s
-table, and beg for “anything,” which would
-mean turkey and oysters. Others “had been
-up all night and craved a cup of coffee and a
-roll,” and as for diseases among commissioned
-and non-commissioned men, caused by entire
-destitution of whiskey, and only to be cured by
-it—their name was legion. Every pound of
-coffee, every ounce of whiskey, bushel of flour
-or vegetables duly weighed before delivery,
-was intended for its particular consumers; who,
-if they even could not eat or drink what was
-issued for them watched their property zealously,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_36"></a>[36]</span>
-and claimed it too. So what had I to
-give away?</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>The Ishmaelite.</i></div>
-
-<p>The necessity of refusing the live-long day,
-forced upon naturally generous tempers, makes
-them captious and uncivil, and under the pressure
-the soft answer cannot be evoked to turn
-away wrath. Demands would increase until
-they amounted to persecutions when the refusals
-became the rule instead of the exception,
-and the breach thus made grew wider
-day by day, until “my hand was against every
-man, and every man’s hand against me.”</p>
-
-<p>Besides, there was little gratitude felt in a
-hospital, and certainly none expressed. The
-mass of patients were uneducated men, who
-had lived by the sweat of their brow, and gratitude
-is an exotic plant, reared in a refined
-atmosphere, kept free from coarse contact and
-nourished by unselfishness. Common natures
-look only with surprise at great sacrifices and
-cunningly avail themselves of the benefits they
-bestow, but give nothing in return,—not even
-the satisfaction of allowing the giver to feel
-that the care bestowed has been beneficial;
-<i>that</i> might entail compensation of some kind,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_37"></a>[37]</span>
-and in their ignorance they fear the nature of
-the equivalent which might be demanded.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Mrs. Marthy Brown’s Son.</i></div>
-
-<p>Still, pleasant episodes often occurred to
-vary disappointments and lighten duties.</p>
-
-<p>“Kin you writ me a letter?” drawled a
-whining voice from a bed in one of the wards,
-a cold day in ’62.</p>
-
-<p>The speaker was an up-country Georgian,
-one of the kind called “Goubers” by the
-soldiers generally; lean, yellow, attennuated,
-with wispy strands of hair hanging over his
-high, thin cheek-bones. He put out a hand to
-detain me and the nails were like claws.</p>
-
-<p>“Why do you not let the nurse cut your
-nails?”</p>
-
-<p>“Because I aren’t got any spoon, and I use
-them instead.”</p>
-
-<p>“Will you let me have your hair cut then?
-You can’t get well with all that dirty hair
-hanging about your eyes and ears.”</p>
-
-<p>“No, I can’t git my hair cut, kase as how I
-promised my mammy that I would let it grow
-till the war be over. Oh, it’s onlucky to cut
-it!”</p>
-
-<p>“Then I can’t write any letter for you. Do<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_38"></a>[38]</span>
-what I wish you to do, and then I will oblige
-you.”</p>
-
-<p>This was plain talking. The hair was cut (I
-left the nails for another day), my portfolio
-brought, and sitting by the side of his bed I
-waited for further orders. They came with
-a formal introduction,—“for Mrs. Marthy
-Brown.”</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>A Circular Letter.</i></div>
-
-<p>“My dear Mammy:</p>
-
-<p>“I hope this finds you well, as it leaves me
-well, and I hope that I shall git a furlough
-Christmas, and come and see you, and I hope
-that you will keep well, and all the folks be
-well by that time, as I hopes to be well myself.
-This leaves me in good health, as I hope it
-finds you and——”</p>
-
-<p>But here I paused, as his mind seemed to
-be going round in a circle, and asked him a few
-questions about his home, his position during
-the last summer’s campaign, how he got sick,
-and where his brigade was at that time. Thus
-furnished with some material to work upon,
-the latter proceeded rapidly. Four sides were
-conscientiously filled, for no soldier would
-think a letter worth sending home that showed<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_39"></a>[39]</span>
-any blank paper. Transcribing his name, the
-number of his ward and proper address, so
-that an answer might reach him—the composition
-was read to him. Gradually his pale
-face brightened, a sitting posture was assumed
-with difficulty (for, in spite of his determined
-effort in his letter “to be well,” he was far
-from convalescence). As I folded and directed
-it, contributed the expected five-cent stamp,
-and handed it to him, he gazed cautiously
-around to be sure there were no listeners.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>My First Proposal.</i></div>
-
-<p>“Did you writ all that?” he asked, whispering,
-but with great emphasis.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“Did <i>I</i> say all that?”</p>
-
-<p>“I think you did.”</p>
-
-<p>A long pause of undoubted admiration—astonishment
-ensued. What was working in
-that poor mind? Could it be that Psyche had
-stirred one of the delicate plumes of her wing
-and touched that dormant soul?</p>
-
-<p>“Are you married?” The harsh voice
-dropped very low.</p>
-
-<p>“I am not. At least, I am a widow.”</p>
-
-<p>He rose still higher in bed. He pushed<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_40"></a>[40]</span>
-away desperately the tangled hay on his brow.
-A faint color fluttered over the hollow cheek,
-and stretching out a long piece of bone with a
-talon attached, he gently touched my arm
-and with constrained voice whispered mysteriously:</p>
-
-<p>“You wait!”</p>
-
-<p>And readers, I <i>am</i> waiting still; and I here
-caution the male portion of creation who may
-adore through their mental powers, to respect
-my confidence, and not seek to shake my
-constancy.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Compliments.</i></div>
-
-<p>Other compliments were paid me, perhaps
-not of so conclusive a nature, and they were
-noticeable from their originality and novelty,
-but they were also rare. Expression was not a
-gift among the common soldiers. “You will
-wear them little feet away,” said a rough Kentuckian,
-“running around so much. They
-ar’n’t much to boast of anyway.” Was not
-this as complimentary as the lover who compared
-his mistress’s foot to a dream; and much
-more comprehensible?</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>More flattering than agreeable.</i></div>
-
-<p>At intervals the lower wards, unused except
-in times of great need, for they were unfurnished<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_41"></a>[41]</span>
-with any comforts, would be filled with
-rough soldiers from camp, sent to recuperate
-after field service, who may not have seen a
-female face for months; and though generally
-too much occupied to notice them much, their
-partly concealed, but determined regard would
-become embarrassing. One day, while directing
-arrangements with a ward-master, my
-attention was attracted by the pertinacious
-staring of a rough-looking Texan. He walked
-round and round me in rapidly narrowing circles,
-examining every detail of my dress, face,
-and figure; his eye never fixing upon any particular
-part for a moment but traveling incessantly
-all over me. It seemed the wonder of
-the mind at the sight of a new creation. I
-moved my position; he shifted his to suit the
-new arrangement—again a change was made, so
-obviously to get out of his range of vision, that
-with a delicacy of feeling that the roughest
-men always treated me with, he desisted from
-his inspection so far, that though his person
-made no movement, his neck twisted round to
-accommodate his eyes, till I supposed some
-progenitor of his family had been an owl. The<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_42"></a>[42]</span>
-men began to titter, and my patience became
-exhausted.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Compliments again.</i></div>
-
-<p>“What is the matter, my man? Did you
-never see a woman before?”</p>
-
-<p>“Jerusalem!” he ejaculated, not making
-the slightest motion towards withdrawing his
-determined notice, “I never did see such a nice
-one. Why, you’s as pretty as a pair of red
-shoes with green strings.”</p>
-
-<p>These were the two compliments laid upon
-the shrine of my vanity during four years’ contact
-with thousands of patients, and I commit
-them to paper to stand as a visionary portrait,
-to prove to my readers that a woman with attractions
-similar to a pair of red shoes with
-green strings must have some claim to the
-apple of Paris.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Love unto Death.</i></div>
-
-<p>Scenes of pathos occurred daily—scenes that
-wrung the heart and forced the dew of pity
-from the eyes; but feeling that enervated the
-mind and relaxed the body was a sentimental
-luxury that was not to be indulged in. There
-was too much work to be done, too much active
-exertion required, to allow the mental or physical
-powers to succumb. They were severely<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_43"></a>[43]</span>
-taxed each day. Perhaps they balanced, and
-so kept each other from sinking. There was,
-indeed, but little leisure to sentimentalize, the
-necessity for action being ever present.</p>
-
-<p>After the battle of Fredericksburg, while
-giving small doses of brandy to a dying man, a
-low, pleasant voice, said “Madam.” It came
-from a youth not over eighteen years of age,
-seeming very ill, but so placid, with that earnest,
-far-away gaze, so common to the eyes of
-those who are looking their last on this world.
-Does God in his mercy give a glimpse of coming
-peace, past understanding, that we see
-reflected in the dying eyes into which we look
-with such strong yearning to fathom what they
-see? He shook his head in negative to all
-offers of food or drink or suggestions of softer
-pillows and lighter covering.</p>
-
-<p>“I want Perry,” was his only wish.</p>
-
-<p>On inquiry I found that Perry was the
-friend and companion who marched by his side
-in the field and slept next to him in camp, but
-of whose whereabouts I was ignorant. Armed
-with a requisition from our surgeon, I sought
-him among the sick and wounded at all the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_44"></a>[44]</span>
-other hospitals. I found him at Camp Jackson,
-put him in my ambulance, and on arrival
-at my own hospital found my patient had
-dropped asleep. A bed was brought and
-placed at his side, and Perry, only slightly
-wounded, laid upon it. Just then the sick boy
-awoke wearily, turned over, and the half-unconscious
-eye fixed itself. He must have been
-dreaming of the meeting, for he still distrusted
-the reality. Illness had spiritualized the
-youthful face; the transparent forehead, the
-delicate brow so clearly defined, belonged more
-to heaven than earth. As he recognized his
-comrade the wan and expressionless lips
-curved into the happiest smile—the angel of
-death had brought the light of summer skies to
-that pale face. “Perry,” he cried, “Perry,”
-and not another word, but with one last effort
-he threw himself into his friend’s arms, the
-radiant eyes closed, but the smile still remained—he
-was dead.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>The Silver Cord loosened.</i></div>
-
-<p>There was but little sensibility exhibited by
-soldiers for the fate of their comrades in field
-or hospital. The results of war are here to-day
-and gone to-morrow. I stood still, spell-bound<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_45"></a>[45]</span>
-by that youthful death-bed, when my painful
-revery was broken upon by a drawling voice
-from a neighboring bed, which had been
-calling me by such peculiar names or titles
-that I had been oblivious to whom they were
-addressed.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>A Sweet Pur-ta-a-tur-r.</i></div>
-
-<p>“Look here. I say, Aunty!—Mammy!—You!”
-Then, in despair, “Missus! Mauma!
-Kin you gim me sich a thing as a b’iled sweet
-pur-r-rta-a-a-tu-ur? I b’long to the Twenty-secun’
-Nor’ Ka-a-a-li-i-na rigiment.” I told the
-nurse to remove his bed from proximity to his
-dead neighbor, thinking that in the low state
-of his health from fever the sight might affect
-his nerves, but he treated the suggestion with
-contempt.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t make no sort of difference to <i>me</i>;
-they dies all around <i>me</i> in the field—don’t
-trouble <i>me</i>.”</p>
-
-<p>The wounded men at this time began to
-make serious complaints that the liquor issued
-did not reach them, and no vigilance on my
-part appeared to check the improper appropriation
-of it, or lead to any discovery of the
-thieves in the wards. There were many obstacles<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_46"></a>[46]</span>
-to be surmounted before proper precautions
-could be taken. Lumber was so expensive
-that closets in each ward were out of the
-question, and if made locks could not be purchased
-for any amount of money. The liquor,
-therefore, when it left my quarters, was open to
-any passer-by in the wards who would watch
-his opportunity; so, although I had strong and
-good reasons for excluding female nurses, the
-supposition that liquor would be no temptation
-to them, and would be more apt to reach its
-proper destination through their care, determined
-me to engage them.</p>
-
-<p>Unlucky thought, born in an evil hour!</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Sober Ladies wanted.</i></div>
-
-<p>There were no lack of applications when the
-want was circulated, but my choice hesitated
-between ladies of education and position, who I
-knew would be willing to aid me, and the common
-class of respectable servants. The latter
-suited best, because it was to be supposed they
-would be more amenable to authority. They
-were engaged, and the very sick wards divided
-among three of them. They were to keep the
-bed-clothing in order, receive and dispense the
-liquor, carry any delicacy in the way of food<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_47"></a>[47]</span>
-where it was most needed, and in fact do anything
-reasonable that was requested. The last
-stipulation was dwelt upon strongly. The next
-day my new corps were in attendance, and the
-different liquors, beverages and stimulants delivered
-to them under the black looks of the
-ward-masters. No. 1 received hers silently.
-She was a cross-looking woman from North
-Carolina, painfully ugly, or rather what is
-termed hard-featured, and apparently very
-taciturn; the last quality rather an advantage.
-She had hardly left my kitchen when she
-returned with all the drinks, and a very indignant
-face.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Delicate Sensibilities.</i></div>
-
-<p>In reply to inquiries made she proved her
-taciturnity was not chronic. She asserted
-loudly that she was a decent woman, and
-“was not going anywhere in a place where a
-man sat up on his bed in his shirt, and the rest
-laughed—she knew they were laughing at her.”
-The good old proverb that talking is silver but
-silence is gold had impressed itself on my mind
-long before this, so I silently took her charge
-from her, telling her that a hospital was no
-place for a person of her delicate sensibilities,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_48"></a>[48]</span>
-and at the same time holding up Miss G. and
-myself (who were young enough to be her
-daughters), as examples for her imitation.</p>
-
-<p>She answered truly that we acted as we
-pleased and so would she; and that was the
-last I saw of her. What her ideas of hospital
-life were I never inquired, and shall never
-know.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>More of them.</i></div>
-
-<p>No. 2 came briskly forward. She was a
-plausible, light-haired, light-eyed and light-complexioned
-Englishwoman; very petite, with
-a high nose. She had come to the hospital
-with seven trunks, which ought to have been a
-warning to me, but she brought such strong
-recommendations from responsible parties that
-they warped my judgment. She received the
-last trust handed her—an open pitcher of hot
-punch—with averted head, nose turned aside,
-and held it at arm’s length with a high disdain
-mounted upon her high nose. Her excuse
-for this antipathy was that the smell of
-liquor was “awful,” she “could not a-bear
-it,” and “it turned her witals.” This was
-rather suspicious, but we deferred judgment.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Free and Equal American Servant Ladies.</i></div>
-
-<p>Dinner was distributed. No. 2 appeared,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_49"></a>[49]</span>
-composed, vigilant and attentive to her duties,
-carrying her delicacies of food to her wards
-with the assistance of the nurses. No. 3, an
-inoffensive woman did the same, and all worked
-well. That afternoon, when I had retired to
-my little sanctum to take the one hour’s rest
-that I allowed myself each day undisturbed,
-Miss G. put her head in the door with an apprehensive
-look and said, “the new matrons
-wished to see me.” They were admitted, and
-my high-nosed friend, who had been elected
-spokeswoman it seems, said after a few preliminaries,
-with a toss of her head and a couple
-of sniffs that I “seemed to have made myself
-very comfortable.”</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Sociable Spittoon.</i></div>
-
-<p>This was assented to graciously. She added
-that other people were not, who were quite as
-much entitled to <i>style</i>. This also remained undisputed,
-and then she stated her real grievance,
-that they “were not satisfied, for I had not invited
-them to call upon me, or into my room,”
-and “they considered themselves quite as much
-ladies as I was.” I answered I was glad to
-hear it, and hoped they would always act as
-ladies should, and in a way suitable to the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_50"></a>[50]</span>
-title. There was an evident desire on her part
-to say more, but she had not calculated upon
-the style of reception, and therefore was thrown
-out beyond her line of action, so she civilly
-requested me to call and inspect their quarters
-that they were dissatisfied with. An hour later
-I did so, and found them sitting around a
-sociable spittoon, with a friendly box of snuff—dipping!
-I found it impossible to persuade
-them that the government was alone responsible
-for their poor quarters, they persisted in holding
-me answerable.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Possession Nine and Half Points of Law.</i></div>
-
-<p>The next day, walking through one of the
-wards under No. 2’s charge, I found a part of
-the building, of about eight to ten feet square,
-portioned off, a roughly improvised plank partition
-dividing this temporary room from the
-rest of the ward. Seated comfortably therein
-was the new matron, entrenched among her
-trunks. A neat table and comfortable chair,
-abstracted from my few kitchen appurtenances,
-added to her comforts. Choice pieces of
-crockery, remnants of more luxurious times,
-that had at one time adorned my shelves, were
-disposed tastefully around, and the drinks<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_51"></a>[51]</span>
-issued by me for the patients were conveniently
-placed at her elbow. She explained that she
-kept them there to prevent thefts. Perhaps
-the nausea communicated from their neighborhood
-had tinted the high nose higher, and
-there was a defiant look about her, as if she
-sniffed the battle afar.</p>
-
-<p>It was very near though, and had to be
-fought, however disagreeable, so I instantly
-entered into explanations, short, but polite.
-Each patient being allowed, by law, a certain
-number of feet, every inch taken therefrom was
-so much ventilation lost, and the abstraction of
-as much space as she had taken for illegal purposes
-was a serious matter, and conflicted with
-the rules that governed the hospital. Besides
-this, no woman was allowed to stay in the
-wards, for obvious reasons.</p>
-
-<p>No. 2, however, was a sensible person, for
-she did not waste <i>her</i> breath in talking; she
-merely held her position. An appeal made by
-me to the surgeon of the ward did not result
-favorably; he said I had engaged her, she
-belonged to my corps, and was under my
-supervision: so I sent for the steward.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Vi et Armis.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_52"></a>[52]</span>The steward of a hospital cannot define
-exactly what his duties are, the difficulty being
-to find out what they are not. Whenever it
-has to be decided who has to fill a disagreeable
-office, the choice invariably falls upon the
-steward. So a message was sent to his quarters
-to request him to compel No. 2 to evacuate her
-hastily improvised premises. He hesitated
-long, but engaging at last the services of his
-assistant, a broad-shouldered fighting character,
-proceeded to eject the new tenant.</p>
-
-<p>He commenced operations by polite explanations;
-but they were met in a startling
-manner. She arose and rolled up her sleeves,
-advancing upon him as he receded down the
-ward. The sick and wounded men roared with
-laughter, cheering her on, and she remained
-mistress of the field. Dinner preparations
-served as an interlude and silently suppressed,
-she as usual made her entrée into the kitchen,
-received the drinks for her ward and vanished.
-Half an hour elapsed and then the master of
-the ward in which she had domiciled herself
-made his report to me, and recounted a pitiful
-tale. He was a neat quiet manager, and usually<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_53"></a>[53]</span>
-kept his quarters beautifully clean. No.
-2, he said, divided the dinner, and whenever
-she came across a bone in hash or stew, or indeed
-anything therein displeased her, she took
-it in her fingers and dashed it upon the floor.
-With so little to make a hospital gay, this
-peculiar episode was a god-send to the soldiers,
-and indeed to all the lookers on. The surgeons
-stood laughing, in groups, the men
-crowded to the windows of the belligerent
-power, and a <i>coup-d’etat</i> became necessary.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Spirit of ’63.</i></div>
-
-<p>“Send me the carpenter!” I felt the spirit
-of Boadicea. The man stepped up; he had
-always been quiet, civil and obedient.</p>
-
-<p>“Come with me into Ward E.”</p>
-
-<p>A few steps took us there.</p>
-
-<p>“Knock down that partition and carry away
-those boards.” It was <i>un fait accompli</i>.</p>
-
-<p>But the victory was not gained, only the
-fortifications stormed and taken, for almost
-hidden by flying splinters and dust, No. 2 sat
-among her seven trunks enthroned like Rome
-upon her seven hills.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Not “A Ministering Angel, Thou.”</i></div>
-
-<p>The story furnishes no further interest, but
-the result was very annoying. She was put<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_54"></a>[54]</span>
-into my ambulance very drunk by this time and
-sent away, her trunks sent after her. The next
-day, neatly dressed, she managed to get an interview
-with the medical director, enlisted his
-sympathy by a plausible appeal and description
-of her desolate condition. “A refugee,” or
-“refewgee,” as she called herself, “trying to
-make her living decently,” and receiving an
-order to report at our hospital, was back there
-by noon. Explanations had to be written, and
-our surgeon-in-chief to interfere with his authority,
-before we could get rid of her.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Work.</i></div>
-
-<p>About this time (April, 1863), an attack on
-Drewry’s Bluff, which guarded Richmond on
-the James river side, was expected, and it was
-made before the hospital was in readiness to
-receive the wounded. The cannonading could
-be heard distinctly in the city, and dense smoke
-descried rising from the battle-field. The Richmond
-people had been too often, if not through
-the wars at least within sight and hearing of its
-terrors, to feel any great alarm.</p>
-
-<p>The inhabitants lying in groups, crowded
-the eastern brow of the hill above Rocketts and
-the James river; overlooking the scene, and<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_55"></a>[55]</span>
-discussing the probable results of the struggle;
-while the change from the dull, full boom of
-the cannon to the sharp rattle of musketry could
-be easily distinguished. The sun was
-setting amidst stormy, purple clouds; and
-when low upon the horizon sent long slanting
-rays of yellow light from beneath them, athwart
-the battle scene, throwing it in strong relief.
-The shells burst in the air above the fortifications
-at intervals, and with the aid of glasses
-dark blue masses of uniforms could be distinguished,
-though how near the scene of action
-could not be discerned. About eight o’clock the
-slightly wounded began to straggle in with a
-bleeding hand, or contused arm or head, bound
-up in any convenient rag.</p>
-
-<p>Their accounts were meagre, for men in the
-ranks never know anything about general
-results—they almost always have the same answer
-ready, “We druv ’em nowhere.”</p>
-
-<p>In another half-hour, vehicles of all kinds
-crowded in, from a wheelbarrow to a stretcher,
-and yet no orders had been sent me to prepare
-for the wounded. Few surgeons had remained
-in the hospital; the proximity to the field<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_56"></a>[56]</span>
-tempting them to join the ambulance committee,
-or ride to the scene of action; and the
-officer of the day, left in charge, naturally objected
-to my receiving a large body of suffering
-men with no arrangements made for their comfort,
-and but few in attendance. I was preparing
-to leave for my home at the Secretary of
-the Navy, where I returned every night, when
-the pitiful sight of the wounded in ambulances,
-furniture wagons, carts, carriages, and every
-kind of vehicle that could be impressed detained
-me. To keep them unattended to, while
-being driven from one full hospital to another,
-entailed unnecessary suffering, and the agonized
-outcry of a desperately wounded man to “take
-him in, for God’s sake, or kill him,” decided
-me to countermand the order of the surgeon in
-charge that “they must be taken elsewhere, as
-we had no accommodations prepared.” I sent
-for him, however. He was a kind-hearted, indolent
-man, but efficient in his profession, and
-a gentleman; and seeing my extreme agitation,
-tried to reason with me, saying our wards were
-full, except a few vacant and unused ones,
-which our requisitions had failed to furnish<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_57"></a>[57]</span>
-with proper bedding and blankets. Besides, a
-large number of the surgeons were absent, and
-the few left would not be able to attend to all
-the wounds at that late hour of the night. I
-proposed in reply that the convalescent men
-should be placed on the floor on blankets, or
-bed-sacks filled with straw, and the wounded
-take their place, and, purposely construing his
-silence into consent, gave the necessary orders,
-eagerly offering my services to dress simple
-wounds, and extolling the strength of my
-nerves.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>First Essay.</i></div>
-
-<p>He let me have my way (may <i>his</i> ways
-be of pleasantness and his paths of peace), and
-so, giving Miss G. orders to make an unlimited
-supply of coffee, tea, and stimulants, armed
-with lint, bandages, castile soap, and a basin of
-warm water, I made my first essays in the surgical
-line. I had been spectator often enough
-to be skillful. The first object that needed my
-care was an Irishman. He was seated upon a
-bed with his hands crossed, wounded in both
-arms by the same bullet. The blood was soon
-washed away, wet lint applied, and no bones
-being broken, the bandages easily arranged.</p>
-
-<p>“I hope that I have not hurt you much,” I<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_58"></a>[58]</span>
-said with some trepidation. “These are the
-first wounds that I ever dressed.”</p>
-
-<p>“Sure they be the most illegant pair of
-hands that ever touched me, and the lightest,”
-he gallantly answered. “And I am all right
-now.”</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Results.</i></div>
-
-<p>From bed to bed till long past midnight, the
-work continued. Fractured limbs were bathed,
-washed free from blood and left to the surgeon
-to set. The men were so exhausted by forced
-marches, lying in entrenchments and loss of
-sleep that few even awoke during the operations.
-If aroused to take nourishment or
-stimulant they received it with closed eyes,
-and a speedy relapse into unconsciousness.
-The next morning, but few had any recollection
-of the events of the night previous.</p>
-
-<p>There were not as many desperate wounds
-among the soldiers brought in that night as
-usual. Strange to say, the ghastliness of
-wounds varied much in the different battles,
-perhaps from the nearness or distance of contending
-parties. One man was an exception
-and enlisted my warmest sympathy. He was a
-Marylander although serving in a Virginia<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_59"></a>[59]</span>
-company. There was such strength of resignation
-in his calm blue eye.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Where the Weary are at Rest.</i></div>
-
-<p>“Can you give me a moment?” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“What shall I do for you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Give me some drink to revive me, that I do
-not die before the surgeon can attend to me.”</p>
-
-<p>His pulse was strong but irregular, and telling
-him that a stimulant might induce fever,
-and ought only to be administered with a doctor’s
-prescription, I inquired where was he
-wounded.</p>
-
-<p>Right through the body. Alas!</p>
-
-<p>The doctor’s dictum was, “No hope: give
-him anything he asks for;” but five days and
-nights I struggled against this decree, fed my
-patient with my own hands, using freely from
-the small store of brandy in my pantry and
-cheering him by words and smiles. The sixth
-morning on my entrance he turned an anxious
-eye on my face, the hope had died out of his, for
-the cold sweat stood in beads there, useless to
-dry, so constantly were they renewed.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote">“An only Son, and my Mother a widow.”</div>
-
-<p>What comfort could I give? Only silently
-open the Bible, and read to him without comment
-the ever-living promises of his Maker.<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_60"></a>[60]</span>
-Glimpses too of that abode where the “weary
-are at rest.” Tears stole down his cheek, but
-he was not comforted.</p>
-
-<p>“I am an only son,” he said, “and my
-mother is a widow. Go to her, if you ever get
-to Baltimore, and tell her that I died in what I
-consider the defense of civil rights and liberties.
-I may be wrong. God alone knows. Say how
-kindly I was nursed, and that I had all I
-needed. I cannot thank you, for I have no
-breath, but we will meet up there.” He
-pointed upward and closed his eyes, that never
-opened again upon this world.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Home Cares and Affections.</i></div>
-
-<p>Earlier than this, while hospitals were still
-partly unorganized, soldiers were brought in
-from camp or field, and placed in divisions of
-them, irrespective of rank or state; but soon
-the officers had more comfortable quarters provided
-apart from the privates, and separate
-divisions were also appropriated to men from
-different sections of the country.</p>
-
-<p>There were so many good reasons for this
-change that explanations are hardly necessary.
-Chief among them, was the ease<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_61"></a>[61]</span>
-through which, under this arrangement, a man
-could be found quickly by reference to the
-books of each particular division. Schedules
-of where the patients of each State were quartered
-were published in the daily papers, and
-besides the materials furnished by government,
-States, and associations, were thus enabled to
-send satisfactory food and clothing for private
-distribution. Thus immense contributions,
-coming weekly from these sources, gave great
-aid, and enabled us to have a reserved store
-when government supplies failed.</p>
-
-<p>To those cognizant of these facts, it appeared
-as if the non-fighting people of the
-Confederacy had worked as hard and exercised
-as much self-denial as the soldiers in the field.
-There was an indescribable pathos lurking at
-times at the bottom of these heterogeneous
-home boxes, put up by anxious wives, mothers
-and sisters; a sad and mute history shadowed
-forth by the sight of rude, coarse homespun
-pillow-cases or pocket handkerchiefs, adorned
-even amid the turmoil of war and poverty of
-means with an attempt at a little embroidery,
-or a simple fabrication of lace for trimming.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>If not my Son—then another Mother’s.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_62"></a>[62]</span>The silent tears dropped over these tokens will
-never be sung in song or told in story. The
-little loving expedients to conceal the want of
-means which each woman resorted to, thinking
-that if her loved one failed to benefit by the
-result, other mothers might reap the advantage,
-is a history in itself.</p>
-
-<p>Piles of sheets, the cotton carded and spun
-in the one room at home where the family perhaps
-lived, ate, and slept in the backwoods of
-Georgia; bales of blankets called so by courtesy,
-but only the drawing-room carpets, the
-pride of the heart of thrifty housewives, perhaps
-their only extravagance in better days,
-but now cut up for field use. Dozens of pillow
-slips, not of the coarse product of the home
-loom, which would be too harsh for the cheek
-of the invalid, but of the fine bleached cotton
-of better days, suggesting personal clothing
-sacrificed to the sick. Boxes of woolen shirts,
-like Joseph’s many-colored coat, created from
-almost every dressing-gown or flannel skirt in
-the country.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Sacred feelings and bad grammar.</i></div>
-
-<p>A thousand evidences of the loving care and
-energetic labor of the poor, patient ones at<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_63"></a>[63]</span>
-home, telling an affecting story that knocked
-hard at the gates of the heart, were the portals
-ever so firmly closed; and with all these came
-letters written by poor ignorant ones who often
-had no knowledge of how such communications
-should be addressed.</p>
-
-<p>These letters, making inquiries concerning
-patients from anxious relatives at home,
-directed oftener to my office than my name,
-came in numbers, and were queer mixtures of
-ignorance, bad grammar, worse spelling and
-simple feeling. However absurd the style, the
-love that filled them chastened and purified
-them. Many are stored away, and though
-irresistibly ludicrous, are too sacred to print
-for public amusement.</p>
-
-<p>In them could be detected the prejudices of
-the different sections. One old lady in upper
-Georgia wrote a pathetic appeal for a furlough
-for her son. She called me “My dear sir,”
-while still retaining my feminine address, and
-though expressing the strongest desire for her
-son’s restoration to health, entreated in moving
-accents that if his life could not be saved, that
-he should not be buried in “Ole Virginny<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_64"></a>[64]</span>
-<i>dirt</i>,”—rather a derogatory term to apply to the
-sacred soil that gave birth to the presidents—the
-soil of the Old Dominion.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Sad letters.</i></div>
-
-<p>Almost all of these letters told the same sad
-tale of destitution of food and clothing, even
-shoes of the roughest kind being either too expensive
-for the mass or unattainable by the
-expenditure of any sum, in many parts of the
-country. For the first two years of the war,
-privations were lightly dwelt upon and courageously
-borne, but when want and suffering
-pressed heavily as times grew more stringent,
-there was a natural longing for the stronger
-heart and frame to bear part of the burden.
-Desertion is a crime that meets generally with
-as much contempt as cowardice, and yet how
-hard for the husband or father to remain inactive
-in winter quarters, knowing that his wife
-and little ones were literally starving at home—not
-even <i>at home</i>, for few homes were left.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Virginians.</i></div>
-
-<p>Our hospital had till now (the summer of
-1863), been appropriated to the Gulf States,
-when an order was issued to transfer and make
-it entirely Virginian. The cause of this change
-was unknown, but highly agreeable, for the latter<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_65"></a>[65]</span>
-were the very best class of men in the field;
-intelligent, manly, and reasonable, with more
-civilized tastes and some desire to conform to
-rules that were conducive to their health. Besides
-this, they were a hardier race, and were
-more inclined to live than die,—a very important
-taste in a hospital,—so that when the
-summer campaigns were over, the wards would
-be comparatively empty. The health of the
-army improved wonderfully after the first
-year’s exposure had taught them to take proper
-precautions, and they had become accustomed
-to the roughnesses of field life. Time was given
-me, by this lightening of heretofore strenuous
-duties, to seek around and investigate the mysteries
-of the arrangements of other hospitals
-beside my own, and see how my neighbors
-managed their responsibilities. While on the
-search for material for improvement, I found
-a small body of Marylanders, who, having had
-no distinct refuge awarded them, were sent
-wherever circumstances made it convenient to
-lodge them.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Antagonism.</i></div>
-
-<p>There had been, from the breaking out of
-the war, much petty criticism, privately and<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_66"></a>[66]</span>
-publicly expressed, concerning the conduct and
-position of the Marylanders who had thrown
-their fortunes in the Confederate scale, and a
-great deal of ill-feeling engendered. Sister
-States have never been amicable, but it was not
-until my vocation drew my attention to the fact
-that I became aware of the antagonism existing.
-The Virginians complained that the
-Marylanders had come south to install themselves
-in the comfortable clerkships, and to
-take possession of the lazy places, while those
-filling them defended their position on the
-ground that efficient men were required in the
-departments, as well as the field, and that their
-superior capacity as clerks was recognized and
-rewarded without any desire, on their part, to
-shun field duty. They were unfortunate, as
-they labored under the disadvantage of harboring,
-as reputed fellow citizens, every gambler,
-speculator or vagabond, who, anxious to escape
-military duty, managed to procure, in some
-way, exemption papers proving him a native
-of their so-considered neutral State. An adverse
-feeling towards them, report said, extended
-even to the hospitals through which<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_67"></a>[67]</span>
-they were scattered, and I endeavored long, but
-unsuccessfully, to induce Dr. Moore (the Confederate
-surgeon-general), to inaugurate some
-building for their use. He was averse to any
-arrangement of this kind, not from prejudice,
-but a conviction of the expense and trouble of
-small establishments of this nature.</p>
-
-<p>Not succeeding I made a personal application
-to the surgeon-in-chief of my own establishment,
-to allow me to appropriate a certain
-number of my own wards to them, and with the
-ready courtesy he always accorded me, he immediately
-gave consent.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>The wicked Marylanders.</i></div>
-
-<p>In the decided objections of surgeons generally
-to taking charge of Marylanders there
-was an element more amusing than offensive,
-and the dismay of the head of our hospital
-when he heard of my arrangements was ludicrous
-in the extreme, and our opinions hardly
-reconcilable from our different standpoints.
-To a woman there was a touch of romance in
-the self-denial exercised, the bravery displayed
-and the hardships endured by a body of men,
-who were fighting for what was to them an abstract
-question, as far as they were concerned.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_68"></a>[68]</span>No one with any reasoning powers could suppose
-that Maryland in event of success could
-ever become a sister State of the confederacy.
-Then the majority of them were very young
-men, who, well born, well nurtured and
-wealthy, accustomed too to all the luxuries of
-life, served then, and even to the end as privates,
-when less deserving men who had commenced
-their career in the ranks had made interest
-and risen, as much through political
-favor as personal bravery. Luxuries received
-from other States for their soldiers, which
-though trifling in themselves were so gratifying
-to their recipients could not come to them;
-the furlough, that El Dorado to the sick
-soldier, was the gold which could not be
-grasped, for there was no home that could
-be reached. Even letters, those electric conductors
-from heart to heart, came sparingly
-after long detention, often telling of the loss of
-the beloved at home, months after the grave
-had closed upon them.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Troublesome Customers.</i></div>
-
-<p>In antagonism to these ideas were the
-strong objections of our head surgeon to this
-arrangement of mine, and they too were reasonable.<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_69"></a>[69]</span>
-The fact of there being an unusual
-amount of intelligence and independence among
-these men made them more difficult to manage,
-as they were less submissive to orders. They
-were aware of how much they were entitled to,
-in food, surgical and medical attendance and
-general comfort; and were not afraid to speak
-loudly and openly of neglect towards them or
-of incapacity in their rulers, so that whether
-ragged, helpless or sick they bore a striking
-resemblance to Hans Andersen’s leather soldier.
-That historical personage, though lame in the
-leg, minus an arm and eye, with a mashed head,
-all the gilt rubbed off of his back and lying in a
-gutter, held his own opinion and gave it on all
-occasions. The result of this was that there
-existed a pretty general objection to them as
-patients, as they were, to say the least, awkward
-customers. I might whisper an aside
-very low and confidential of sick men who
-should have followed the good old wholesome
-rule of “early to bed and early to rise” taking
-their physic obediently in the morning, but disappearing
-at night,—“dew in the morning and
-mist at night,”—and I might also tell of passes<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_70"></a>[70]</span>
-altered and furloughs lengthened when there
-was no fighting going on, all very wicked, but
-certainly nothing unmanly or dishonorable.
-They never lingered around when honor called,
-and their record needs no additional tribute
-from my humble pen. When sectional feelings
-shall have died away and a fair narration of the
-Confederate struggle be written, they will find
-their laurel leaves fresh and green.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Good Wine needs no Bush.</i></div>
-
-<p>But to return to domestic details. My new
-wards were prepared, freshly whitewashed, and
-adorned with cedar boughs for the reception of
-the old line Maryland cavalry, and during their
-sojourn I experienced to its fullest extent the
-pleasure of ministering to the wants of grateful
-and satisfied soldiers. They brightened a short
-interval of laborious and harassing labors that
-lasted over four years, and left a sunny spot for
-memory to dwell on. After their departure
-many more of their State came, generally infantry,
-and difficulties still continued. It was
-impossible to give them their due share of attention,
-so great was the feeling of jealousy existing.
-If an invalid required special attention,
-and he proved to be a Marylander, though perhaps<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_71"></a>[71]</span>
-ignorant myself of the fact, many eyes
-watched me, and complaints were made to the
-nurses, and from them to the surgeons, till a
-report of partiality to them on my part made to
-the surgeon-in-chief, called forth a remonstrance
-on his part, and a request that all patients
-should be treated alike. Then came an unpleasant
-season of bickering and dissatisfaction, so
-that fearing I might be to blame in part, I
-studiously at last avoided inquiring to what
-corps a man belonged.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Annoyances.</i></div>
-
-<p>A courier of General A. P. Hill’s, very
-badly wounded, had been invalided for some
-time, and desirous of offering him some inducement
-to bear his fate more patiently, I had invited
-him to dine in my office, as soon as he
-could use his crutches. An invitation of this
-kind was often extended to men similarly situated;
-not that there were delicacies retained in
-my kitchen that did not reach the wards, but
-the request was a courtesy, and the food would
-be hot from the fire, and more comfortably
-served. Unfortunately he was a Marylander,
-and that some adverse report had been made
-was proved by an order attached to my window<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_72"></a>[72]</span>
-during the day, explaining that no patient
-would be permitted to enter the matron’s department
-under any circumstances, on penalty
-of punishment. This was uncalled-for and
-galling, so I pulled it down first, and then carried
-my complaint to the surgeon-in-chief.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Woman’s wit wins.</i></div>
-
-<p>No one ever applied to him in vain for either justice
-or courtesy. He naturally was unwilling to
-countermand this order positively, but told me
-significantly that although the hospital was to
-a certain extent under the control of the surgeon
-in charge, and subject to his orders, the
-private rooms, as well as kitchen and laundry
-attached to the matron’s department were under
-my management. As a woman will naturally
-sacrifice her comfort, convenience, pleasure,
-and privacy to have her own way, the result
-must be evident. My sleeping-room became a
-dining-room, and for the future I made what
-use of it I pleased, returning every night to my
-quarters at the Secretary’s.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>The Flesh-Pots of Egypt.</i></div>
-
-<p>The next annoyance
-was the disappearance of all the Maryland
-patients; their wards being found empty one
-morning, and “no man living could tell where
-they had gone.” However, when the flesh-pots<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_73"></a>[73]</span>
-of the forsaken land were steaming at dinner-time,
-a small group revealed themselves of the
-missing tribes, and clustered around my window
-with cup and plate. They belonged to the
-infantry, and seemed unable to bear their exile.
-This continued for a couple of days, the applicants
-increasing at each meal, till a second visit
-to Dr. M. with a representation of the impossibility
-of feeding men for whom no rations had been
-drawn brought about a rescinding of the order
-for their exile, and from that time they and all of
-their corps who came to me were unmolested.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Anxieties.</i></div>
-
-<p>Feminine sympathy being much more demonstrative
-than masculine, particularly when
-compared with a surgeon’s unresponsiveness,
-who inured to the aspects of suffering, has
-more control over his professional feelings, the
-nurses often summoned me when only the surgeon
-was needed. One very cold night the same
-year, 1863, when sleeping at my hospital rooms,
-an answer was made to my demand as to who
-was knocking and what was wanted. The
-nurse from the nearest ward said, something
-was wrong with Fisher. Instructing him to<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_74"></a>[74]</span>
-find the doctor immediately and hastily getting
-on some clothing I hurried to the scene, for
-Fisher was an especial favorite. He was quite
-a young man, of about twenty years of age,
-who had been wounded ten months previously
-very severely, high up on the leg near the hip,
-and who by dint of hard nursing, good food and
-plenty of stimulant had been given a fair chance
-for recovery. The bones of the broken leg had
-slipped together, then lapped, and nature
-anxious as she always is to help herself had
-thrown a ligature across, uniting the severed
-parts; but after some time the side curved
-out, and the wounded leg was many inches
-shorter than its fellow. He had been the object
-of sedulous care on the part of all—surgeons,
-ward-master, nurse and matron, and the last
-effort made to assist him was by the construction
-of an open cylinder of pasteboard, made
-in my kitchen, of many sheets of coarse brown
-paper, cemented together with very stiff paste,
-and baked around the stove-pipe. This was to
-clasp by its own prepared curve the deformed
-hip, and be a support for it when he was able
-to use his crutches.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>No Hope in this World.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_75"></a>[75]</span>He had remained through all his trials,
-stout, fresh and hearty, interesting in appearance,
-and so gentle-mannered and uncomplaining
-that we all loved him. Supported on his
-crutches he had walked up and down his ward
-for the first time since he was wounded, and
-seemed almost restored. That same night he
-turned over and uttered an exclamation of pain.</p>
-
-<p>Following the nurse to his bed, and turning
-down the covering, a small jet of blood spurted
-up. The sharp edge of the splintered bone
-must have severed an artery. I instantly put
-my finger on the little orifice and awaited the
-surgeon. He soon came—took a long look and
-shook his head. The explanation was easy; the
-artery was imbedded in the fleshy part of the
-thigh and could not be taken up. No earthly
-power could save him.</p>
-
-<p>There was no object in detaining Dr. ——.
-He required his time and his strength, and long
-I sat by the boy, unconscious himself that any
-serious trouble was apprehended. The hardest
-trial of my duty was laid upon me; the necessity
-of telling a man in the prime of life, and fullness
-of strength that there was no hope for him.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Dead.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_76"></a>[76]</span>It was done at last, and the verdict received
-patiently and courageously, some directions
-given by which his mother would be informed
-of his death, and then he turned his questioning
-eyes upon my face.</p>
-
-<p>“How long can I live?”</p>
-
-<p>“Only as long as I keep my finger upon this
-artery.” A pause ensued. God alone knew
-what thoughts hurried through that heart and
-brain, called so unexpectedly from all earthly
-hopes and ties. He broke the silence at
-last.</p>
-
-<p>“You can let go—”</p>
-
-<p>But I could not. Not if my own life had
-trembled in the balance. Hot tears rushed to
-my eyes, a surging sound to my ears, and a
-deathly coldness to my lips. The pang of obeying
-him was spared me, and for the first and
-last time during the trials that surrounded me
-for four years, I fainted away.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>State Peculiarities and Differences.</i></div>
-
-<p>No words can do justice to the uncomplaining
-nature of the Southern soldier. Whether it
-arose from resignation or merely passive submission,
-yet when shown in the aggregate in a<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_77"></a>[77]</span>
-hospital, it was sublime. Day after day,
-whether lying wasted by disease or burning up
-with fever, torn with wounds or sinking from
-debility, a groan was seldom heard. The
-wounded wards would be noisily gay with singing,
-laughing, fighting battles o’er and o’er
-again, and playfully chaffing each other by decrying
-the troops from different States, each
-man applauding his own. When listening to
-them one would suppose that the whole Southern
-army with the exception of a few companies
-from the speaker’s section of country, were
-cowards. The up-country soldiers, born in
-the same States as those they derided, went
-even further and decried “them fellows from
-the seaboard, who let us do all the fighting.”
-The Georgians would romance of how the
-South Carolinians laid down at such a battle,
-refusing to charge, and how they had to
-“charge right over them.” The Mississippians
-of the backwardness of the Tennessee troops,
-who “would never go into action unless led
-by their commanding general.” The Virginians
-told bitter stories of the rowdyism of the
-Maryland volunteers, who were “always spreeing<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_78"></a>[78]</span>
-it in the city, and dancing attendance on
-the women,” and the North Carolinians caught
-it on all sides, though their record is undoubtedly
-a most gallant one.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Tar-Heel Tastes.</i></div>
-
-<p>Taken in the mass,
-the last were certainly most forlorn specimens,
-and their drawl was insufferable. Besides, they
-never under any circumstances would give me
-the satisfaction of hearing that they relished or
-even ate any food that was issued from my
-kitchen. “Say, can I have some sweet soup?”
-whined a voice from one bed, and “Look here,
-can I have some sour soup?” came from another.
-The sweet soup upon explanation proved
-to be stirred custard; the sour a mystery until
-the receipt was given. “You jist put a crock of
-buttermilk on the fire, and let it come to a bile;
-then mix up the yaller of an egg with some
-corn flour to make a paste; then punch off
-pieces of the dough, and bile them with the
-soup; with lots of pepper and salt.” The buttermilk
-when so tested by heat resolved itself
-into a sea of whey with a hard ball of curds in
-the center. I carried the saucepan to his bedside
-to show the results of his culinary directions;
-but he merely shook his head and remarked<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_79"></a>[79]</span>
-carelessly that “his mammy’s soup did not
-look like that.”</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Babies even give up Milk.</i></div>
-
-<p>Many would not eat unless furnished with
-food to which they had been accustomed at
-home, and as unreasoning as brutes resisted
-nutriment and thus became weaker day after
-day; and whatever was new to the eye or palate
-was received suspiciously. Liquids in the form
-of soups, tea or coffee they turned from with
-disgust, so that the ordinary diet of invalids
-was inefficient in their case. Buttermilk seemed
-especially created by nature for wounded patients;
-they craved it with a drunkard’s thirst,
-and great, strong men have turned away from
-all else and implored a drink of sweet milk.
-We had a very short supply of this towards the
-end of the war, and I remember a stalwart Kentuckian,
-one of Morgan’s men, insisting upon
-the rare luxury of one cupfull. He had been
-for many months on a raid far out of Confederate
-limits, and returning slightly wounded, had
-no idea of the scarcity of forage that made our
-cows so dry. His pleading became really affecting,
-till at last rallying, I told him: “Why
-man! the very babies of the Confederacy have<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_80"></a>[80]</span>
-given up drinking milk, and here are you, six
-feet two, crying for it.”</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Our Little Romance.</i></div>
-
-<p>Little poetical effusions were often thrust
-under my cabin door, and also notes of all
-kinds from my patients. Among them one day
-was a well-written and worded request from a
-young man who had been indisposed with that
-most hateful of all annoyances to soldiers—the
-itch; that shirt of Nessus, which when once
-attached to the person clings there pertinaciously.
-It begged me when at leisure to give
-him an interview, telling me his ward, name,
-and bed. He proved to be educated, and a gentleman
-from the upper part of Alabama, which
-had been colonized by the best class of South
-Carolinians; and he wished to enlist any influence
-I might possess in his favor, to endeavor to
-get him a furlough. His story was interesting.
-Engaged to a young girl, the preparations made,
-the ring even bought (he wore it next his heart),
-and the marriage day fixed, they heard the first
-rumors of war, and patriotism urging him to
-enlist, the parents of his sweetheart naturally
-refused to allow him to consummate the engagement
-until peace was restored. The desire to<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_81"></a>[81]</span>
-see her again became almost unbearable, and
-feeling sincere sympathy with him, and the
-hardship of the case, I tried but in vain to
-have him furloughed. The campaign of 1864
-had opened and every man was needed in the
-field.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Loved and Lost.</i></div>
-
-<p>The finale of my story is a sad one, as are
-almost all stories in time of war. He was killed
-while repelling with his brigade the attack on
-Petersburg, and the little history confided to
-me resolved itself into a romance one night,
-that found shape and form:</p>
-
-<p class="center">&nbsp;</p>
-
-<div class="centered-poetry-container">
- <div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse smaller"><span style="padding-left:1.8em;">“ICH HABE GELEBT UND GELIEBT.”</span></div>
- <div class="verse smaller">&nbsp;</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">The bride’s robe is ready, the bridesmaids are bid,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">The groom clasps the circlet, so cautiously hid;</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">For a home is now waiting a mistress to claim</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">A lover, a wife, for his house, heart and name.</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">There is peace in the homestead and mirth in the hall—</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">The steed idly stands at his rack in the stall,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">The whole land is teeming with prosperous life,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">For lost are all memories of carnage and strife.</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">With rich golden harvest the ripe hills are blest,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">And God’s providence stands revealed and confessed.</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">&nbsp;</div>
- <div class="verse smaller"><span style="padding-left:3.3em;">*</span>
- <span style="padding-left:3em;">*</span>
- <span style="padding-left:3em;">*</span>
- <span style="padding-left:3em;">*</span>
- <span style="padding-left:3em;">*</span></div>
- <div class="verse smaller">&nbsp;</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">No priest blessed that union, no ring wed that hand;</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">With anger and discord soon rang the whole land;</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">Through all its wide domains the dread tidings rang</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">Of bloodshed. The lover was first in the van.</div>
- <span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_82"></a>[82]</span>
- <div class="verse smaller">“My own one! I leave thee, those dear arms unfold.</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">Wouldst wed with the timid—the doubtful—the cold?</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">No union could bless till our country be free,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">So onward for liberty, glory—and thee!”</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">&nbsp;</div>
- <div class="verse smaller"><span style="padding-left:3.3em;">*</span>
- <span style="padding-left:3em;">*</span>
- <span style="padding-left:3em;">*</span>
- <span style="padding-left:3em;">*</span>
- <span style="padding-left:3em;">*</span></div>
- <div class="verse smaller">&nbsp;</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">Right bravely fought he till sunlight lying low</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">Discovered a field that had left him no foe;</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">But when in the flush of a victory gained,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">Deep in dreams of his love—his honor unstained,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">He wended his way to the home of his heart</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">From her side ne’er to swerve, from her love ne’er to part,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">Hast’ning on with his tidings he knew she would prize—</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">His heart on his lips and his soul in his eyes;</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">Laid low by a shot courage could not repel</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">At the feet of a mightier victor—he fell!</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">And the bride that he left? What needs it to say</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">Her doom was a woman’s,—to watch, wait and pray.</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">The heat of the struggle nerves man for the strife,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">But bitter at home is her battle of life,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">When far from the conflict, unheeded, alone,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">Her brain in a flame, but her heart like a stone,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">She patiently waits to hear <i>one</i> life is won,</div>
- <div class="verse smaller">Or silently prays to say—<i>His</i> will be done!</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="r5" />
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>The Conquering Hero comes again.</i></div>
-
-<p>The whiskey barrel, as I have said before,
-and suppose I shall often say again, had been a
-bone of contention from the beginning, and as
-it afterward proved, continued so to the end.
-Liquor commanded an enormous price in
-Dixie, and often if its lovers had the means to
-procure it, the opportunity was wanting, as the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_83"></a>[83]</span>
-hospital was some distance from Richmond.
-When first installed in my office, the desire to
-conciliate, and the belief that men generally had
-some conscience even on the whiskey question
-led me to yield to urgent solicitations for it
-from many quarters; but the demands increased
-fearfully upon any concession. A reference to
-Dr. M. about this matter settled the heretofore
-open question. The doctor said the liquor was
-intended exclusively for the use of patients,
-and should only be used through a prescription
-accompanied by a written order. Also that I
-was personally responsible for the quantity confided
-to my care, and must each month produce
-the surgeon’s receipts to balance with the number
-of gallons drawn from the medical purveyor.
-There were at different times half a
-dozen surgeons and officials around, who absolutely
-made my life wretched by their importunities,
-and yet who could not be sent away
-except by preferring charges against them, and
-proving those charges; for my hospital was a
-military organization. I did not feel inclined to
-brave the publicity of preferred charges, for I
-seemed to have no recognized rank, and if even<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_84"></a>[84]</span>
-I could prove them, the complaints made would
-be ludicrously petty in detail, though distracting
-as mosquito bites in the aggregate.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Rats—Hopeless Inebriates.</i></div>
-
-<p>The modes adopted to outflank me were
-named “legion.” Some of them can be recalled.
-A quart bottle of whiskey would be
-ordered by the officer of the day for each ward,
-for night use, so that it would be ready at hand
-should any of the patients need this stimulant
-during the night. The next morning, on inquiry
-being made, there had been no case
-requiring its use, but the bottles would be
-empty, and expostulation on my part be met
-with explanations that the rats (who were a
-very plague), had knocked all the bottles over.
-On refusing to honor any more demands of the
-same kind, not believing in the rat story, the
-surgeon in charge would be appealed to, hear
-all sides, and favor none. This was just what I
-anticipated and wanted, for having, for the first
-few months of my occupation, lived in a state of
-active terror for fear of violating rules, however
-injurious the results of obeying, I recompensed
-myself from that time till the end of my sojourn
-by acting exactly as I thought right, braving the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_85"></a>[85]</span>
-consequences, and preferring to be attacked to
-attacking.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>What Constitutes a Lady?</i></div>
-
-<p>One mode of annoying me was particularly
-offensive—sending a negro boy with a
-cup and a simple request for whiskey, as if it
-was the most natural act in the world. At first
-a polite refusal would be written, but if this
-mode should have been persevered in, a private
-secretary would have been necessary; so in
-time it was replaced by a curt “No.” A few
-minutes later the boy would again stand before
-me with the same message, and this would
-occur half a dozen times consecutively. I did
-not believe in vicarious punishment, so could
-not make the messenger responsible—he was
-compelled to obey; and sometimes, stung to
-irritation by this senseless pertinacity, I would
-write a note to the offending party, brief but
-sharp. The reply would be the same silly
-question I so often had to meet: “Did Mrs.
-—— consider herself a lady when she wrote
-such notes?” “No,” was always the indignant
-answer. “How could she be, when
-brought into contact with such elements?” It
-was strange, with so little outward self-assertion,
-always dressed in Georgia homespun,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_86"></a>[86]</span>
-often the worse for wear, leather shoes, worsted
-gloves, and half the time with a skillet or coffee-pot
-in my hands, that all the common element
-around me should contest my right to a title
-to which I never aspired in words.</p>
-
-<p>This fact, which must have been patent to
-them from the active persecution it entailed,
-seemed to be a crying grievance. My life at
-my hospital quarters when relieved from care
-for the patients was exclusive, from habit, inclination
-and prudence. Living a great part
-of my time away from all intercourse with my
-own sex, in a solitude that was unbroken after
-dark, it was better that no intimacies should
-be formed and no preferences shown; and in an
-exposed position where Argus eyes were always
-watching, a woman could not be too careful.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>The Hero again.</i></div>
-
-<p>But still the wars of the whiskey barrel continued.
-One day the men of one of the distant
-wards sent for me in the absence of their ward-master,
-and complained that the liquor issued
-for them never reached them. All concurred
-in this report, and said the champagne bottles
-in which it was kept were hid behind a certain
-vacant bed, from whence they would be abstracted<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_87"></a>[87]</span>
-that night. A search on my part
-brought them to light, still full, although the
-hour of administering had long past. The
-ward-master was summoned, the full bottles
-exhibited, and expressing my surprise at the
-inhumanity and dishonesty of one I had heretofore
-thought so honest, I warned him of the
-consequences that would result to him. His
-protestations were so earnest that he never
-tasted liquor, that I could not disbelieve him.
-What then had “become of the quantity issued,
-had he sold it?”</p>
-
-<p>The charge was met by indignant surprise,
-and then the truth began to dawn upon me.
-That he had been false to his charge and his
-patients was true, if even he had not been
-guilty of taking it, and I warned him that on
-my representing the matter to the proper
-authorities he would be sent to the field.
-An hour after this conversation the surgeon
-of his ward entered my office with belligerent
-aspect.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Military Law Declared.</i></div>
-
-<p>“Did you assert, Madam, that you intended
-sending my ward-master to the field?”</p>
-
-<p>“I said I intended laying the facts concerning<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_88"></a>[88]</span>
-the disappearance of the liquor before the
-proper authorities.”</p>
-
-<p>“I consider myself responsible, Madam, for
-the liquor used in my wards.”</p>
-
-<p>“If you do, you fail to be sure that it
-reaches its destination, so I intend in future to
-see that it does.”</p>
-
-<p>“If you mean that my ward-master drinks
-it, you are mistaken; he does not take any
-stimulant.”</p>
-
-<p>“I know he does not,” I answered quietly,
-“and I also know who does.”</p>
-
-<p>He changed color, and passing him I walked
-into my little sanctum adjoining the office. To
-my astonishment he kicked back the door and
-also entered.</p>
-
-<p>“Doctor, this is my private room,” I said,
-“to which no one is admitted. Be kind enough
-to leave.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not until you explain,” he answered,
-throwing himself at full length upon the
-couch.</p>
-
-<p>This was just far enough for him to venture.
-I threw back my window, and called to the sentry
-to order up a sergeant and file of the guard.<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_89"></a>[89]</span>
-In a few minutes the ring of their muskets outside
-sounded, and taking out my watch, I
-placed it on the table by him.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Five Minutes’ Grace.</i></div>
-
-<p>“I will give you five minutes,” I said, “to
-leave my room. If you are not gone by that
-time, commissioned officer as you are, and gentleman
-as you ought to be, I will have you
-taken to the guard-house, and then explain this
-matter to the surgeon-general.”</p>
-
-<p>He waited a minute or two, soliloquizing
-audibly that I must fancy myself the Secretary
-of War, and he would make me know my
-position, but soon made up his mind that discretion
-was the better part of valor, and left.
-Proper measures were no doubt taken to punish
-such conduct, for though I made no complaint,
-there were no secrets in a hospital, and after a
-few weeks he disappeared, sent no doubt to
-that Botany Bay—“the front.” He took a
-gallant leave of his associates, hinting that his
-talents demanded a wider field of action than a
-hospital.</p>
-
-<p>But the tables were about to be turned.
-Not forever would I be allowed to carry war
-into the enemy’s country, or be the sole defender<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_90"></a>[90]</span>
-of that friend by whom I had stood so
-gallantly. The whiskey barrel was destined
-after all to be turned into a weapon of offense.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>The Tables Turned.</i></div>
-
-<p>The bold man who thus declared hostilities,
-and by a <i>coup-de-guerre</i> changed the whole
-nature of the war from offensive to defensive
-tactics, had been bar-keeper in a Georgia tavern,
-afterwards a clerk in a Macon dispensary,
-in order to escape field duty. Coming to Richmond
-he passed the board of surgeons by a
-process known only to themselves, which often
-rejected good practitioners, and gave appointments
-to apothecary boys.</p>
-
-<p>Fate sent him to our hospital, where the
-brilliant idea struck him to check thefts of
-whiskey in the feminine department. He inaugurated
-his plans by ordering a pint of it for
-a single patient.</p>
-
-<p>The etiquette of a hospital enjoins that no
-one but the chief surgeon shall dispute an inferior
-surgeon’s prescription, so I carried this
-generous order to the chief, received his instructions
-not to exceed the usual “from two to
-four ounces” without being served with a
-formal requisition signed by the surgeon in<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_91"></a>[91]</span>
-charge, and so I wrote this gentleman (a contract
-surgeon) a few lines, courteously explanatory
-of my reasons for so cutting him down.
-This matter being arranged, I forgot all about
-it, but the next day the blow was struck; the
-following note being handed to me:</p>
-
-<div class="p2 letter-address-container">
- <div class="letter-address">
- <div class="address-or-signature">
- <div class="address-or-signature-line"><span class="smcap">“Hospital</span>, Richmond, April 3, 1864.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="letter">“The Chief Matron:—Is respectfully asked
-to state the amount of water used as compared
-with amount of whiskey in making toddy.
-Also if strength of toddy has been uniform
-since January 1st, 1863. Also if any change
-has taken place in diluting within the same
-period. She will also state what the change
-has been; also when made, and by whose
-authority.</p>
-
-<div class="letter-address-container">
- <div class="letter-address">
- <div class="address-or-signature">
- <div class="address-or-signature-line">“Respectfully,</div>
- <div class="address-or-signature-line">“—— ——,</div>
- <div class="address-or-signature-line">“Assistant Surgeon in charge.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="p1">&nbsp;</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Concise, but not Clear.</i></div>
-
-<p>These questions, if even he had any right to
-ask them (which he had not), were simply absurd.
-With hundreds of men requiring different
-drinks many times each day, ordered by
-numerous surgeons, prepared to suit different
-stages of disease and palate, no hour bringing<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_92"></a>[92]</span>
-the same orders, how could any kind of a correct
-statement be made, even if I was willing to
-make it? But there was a great deal of amusement
-in the idea of letting him suppose he had
-alarmed me. Perhaps, as the day was very
-wet, and the wards rather empty, we might
-enact a small comedy; so I sat down and
-answered in full, respectfully, feeling very
-charitably that he was welcome to all the information
-he could extract from the five closely-written
-sheets of foolscap I despatched him.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>A Storm Brewing.</i></div>
-
-<p>In this document, polite, officially formal
-and as officially obscure, I thought I had succeeded
-in showing my correspondent that his
-questions could not be answered satisfactorily,
-but that I was much alarmed at his asking
-them. That I did not succeed in regard to his
-first inquiry was proved by the following, which
-came after an hour’s delay.</p>
-
-<div class="p2 letter-address-container">
- <div class="letter-address">
- <div class="address-or-signature">
- <div class="address-or-signature-line"><span class="smcap">“Hospital</span>, April 3rd, 1864.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="letter">“Chief Matron:—Is respectfully called
-upon to state what amount of whiskey has been
-given to each patient when amount has not
-been stated or expressed by surgeon, or assistant
-surgeon, upon the rolls, but instead<span class="pagenum" style="font-size: small"><a id="Page_93"></a>[93]</span>
-‘whiskey three times a day,’ and shown upon
-the rolls which <i>I</i> send <i>you</i>.</p>
-
-<div class="letter-address-container">
- <div class="letter-address">
- <div class="address-or-signature">
- <div class="address-or-signature-line">“Respectfully,</div>
- <div class="address-or-signature-line">“—— ——,</div>
- <div class="address-or-signature-line">“Assistant Surgeon in charge.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="p1">&nbsp;</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote one-line"><i>Diplomatic Correspondence.</i></div>
-
-<p>No solemn pages greeted him in answer this
-time. My rejoinder was concise and to the
-point.</p>
-
-<div class="p2 letter-address-container">
- <div class="letter-address">
- <div class="address-or-signature">
- <div class="address-or-signature-line"><span class="smcap">“Hospital</span>, April 3rd, 1864.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="letter">“The Chief Matron regrets that she is too
-busily engaged to give any more voluminous
-explanations, being at this moment up to her
-elbows in gingerbread.”</p>
-
-<p class="p2">Then the sleeping lion was roused, for
-almost instantly the reply was brought me, and
-an alarming finale it was.</p>
-
-<div class="p2 letter-address-container">
- <div class="letter-address">
- <div class="address-or-signature">
- <div class="address-or-signature-line"><span class="smcap">“Hospital</span>, April 3rd, 1864.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="letter">“Chief Matron: Is hereby informed that if
-she willfully and contumaciously refuses to give
-me such information as I demand, and she is
-possessed of, thereby obstructing the duty I
-feel myself called upon to perform, she must be<span class="pagenum" style="font-size: small"><a id="Page_94"></a>[94]</span>
-prepared to <i>meet</i> the responsibility upon <i>your
-own shoulders</i>.</p>
-
-<div class="letter-address-container">
- <div class="letter-address">
- <div class="address-or-signature">
- <div class="address-or-signature-line">“Respectfully,</div>
- <div class="address-or-signature-line">“—— ——,</div>
- <div class="address-or-signature-line">“Assistant Surgeon in charge.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="p1">&nbsp;</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Confusion of Tenses.</i></div>
-
-<p>A serious but sharp rejoinder sent to this
-gentleman, trying to show him that he had no
-authority to propound these questions, closed
-this paper war; and I had forgotten all about
-the matter, when the correspondence was forwarded
-me, folded in official style, and indorsed
-at the surgeon-general’s office on the
-back “Referred respectfully to the surgeon-in-chief
-—— Hospital,” through whose hands alone
-official etiquette required all reports should
-pass to heads of departments. He had courteously
-sent it to me, and I as courteously sent it
-to the forwarder. Seeing that he had failed to
-interest the surgeon-general in the case, he
-drew up a statement of the affair, accusing me
-of disrespect (based upon the gingerbread letter
-particularly) to my <i>superior officer</i>, sending
-it accompanied by all the obnoxious notes
-to the office of the military governor of the department<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_95"></a>[95]</span>
-of Henrico, who I heard read it all
-with some amazement—if not interest.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>How History is made.</i></div>
-
-<p>Back, however, it came shortly again without response,
-and by this time some of the waggish
-surgeons having been made confidants in the
-matter, persuaded my disappointed friend to
-try the secretary of war; and at one of the
-charming breakfasts which his wife was in the
-habit of giving, I saw him with a smile draw
-from his pocket a package I knew well by that
-time, and made my escape just in time to avoid
-hearing it all over again. As I mounted the
-ambulance in waiting to take me to my hospital,
-I heard the peals of laughter that greeted
-the reading of those unlucky documents.</p>
-
-<p>My acquaintance with my correspondent was
-never renewed. He kept out of my way. The
-only time I ever saw him again was the day he
-left and I viewed his pantaloons of Georgia
-clay embrowning the landscape adown the hill.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Non-intervention.</i></div>
-
-<p>A better educated class of surgeons was
-sent to fill fortunate vacancies, and this change
-made my duties more agreeable. There would
-have been nothing disagreeable in the occupation
-I had assumed if a proper discretion had<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_96"></a>[96]</span>
-been exercised, or proper rules enforced, so that
-no demands should have been made upon the
-matron for that which she had no right to give.
-These demands were the beginning and end of
-my troubles; for in all else except complying
-with them I tried hard not to exceed the duties
-of my position, and succeeded so well that no
-temptation could induce me to interfere in any
-way with medical treatment, not even to offering
-the slightest alleviation to suffering men.
-During my early initiation, when quite a novice,
-yielding to a poor fellow’s prayer for something
-to wash a mouth frightfully excoriated by
-calomel I gave him a few drops of myrrh in
-water, I suffered the annoyance of seeing it
-contemptuously tossed out of the window by
-the assistant surgeon. From that day I made
-up my mind to resist all such impulses and persevered
-in the same line of conduct to the end.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Amende.</i></div>
-
-<p>But antagonism was not always the rule.
-There were many sensible, kind-hearted, efficient
-men among the surgeons who gave their
-time and talents generously to further the comfort
-and well-being of their patients,—men who
-would let me work hand in hand with them,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_97"></a>[97]</span>
-the nurse with the doctor, and listen kindly
-and respectfully to my suggestions, if they
-were not calculated to benefit science. As I
-have said, the chief surgeon was an unfailing
-refuge in times of distress, and whenever broken
-down by fatigue and small miseries I
-sought his advice and assistance, the first was
-not only the very best that could be secured,
-but unlike most of its kind, palatable; and the
-last entirely efficient. The surgeon too of my
-hospital though eccentric and wanting in decision
-of character, sustained my authority
-during sore trials as ably as he could; for the
-power delegated to him was not great, and his
-dread of responsibility a disease. He never
-intended to be unjust or unkind, but self-examination
-and investigation of characters around
-him was not his forte. He certainly withstood
-a vast amount of complaint directed against his
-chief matron; and while we had our pleasant
-little difficulties occasionally, that we still preserved
-amicable relations was due more to his
-amiable temper than my proper submission. I
-<i>think</i> he had many faults, but I am sure I had
-more, and if the popular remark which has<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_98"></a>[98]</span>
-since become a maxim, that a man must be very
-clever to “keep a hotel” be true, it certainly
-ought to apply to one who can govern a hospital.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Sadness and Doubts.</i></div>
-
-<p>Now during the summer of 1864 began what
-is really meant by “war,” for privations had to
-be endured which tried body and soul, and
-which temper and patience had to meet unflinchingly
-day and night. A growing want of
-confidence was forced upon the mind; and with
-doubts which though unexpressed were felt as
-to the ultimate success of our cause, there came
-into play the antagonistic qualities of human
-nature.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Sorrow and Privation.</i></div>
-
-<p>The money worthless, and a weak Congress
-and weaker financier failing to make it
-much more valuable than the paper it was
-printed on; the former refusing to the last to
-raise the hospital fund to meet the depreciation.
-Everything furnished through government contracts
-of the very poorest description, perhaps
-necessarily so from the difficulty of finding any
-supply.</p>
-
-<p>The railroads constantly cut so that what<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_99"></a>[99]</span>
-had been carefully collected in the country in
-the form of poultry and vegetables by hospital
-agents would be rendered unfit for use by the
-time the connection would be restored. The
-inducements for theft in this season of scarcity
-of food and clothing. The pathetic appeals
-made for the coarsest meal by starving men, all
-wore upon the health and strength of those
-exposed to the strain, and made life weary
-and hopeless. The rations became so small
-about this time that every ounce of flour was
-valuable, and there were days when it was
-necessary to refuse with aching heart and
-brimming eyes the request of decent, manly-looking
-fellows for a piece of dry corn-bread.
-If given it would have robbed the rightful
-owner of part of his scanty rations. After the
-flour or meal had been made into bread, it was
-almost ludicrous to see with what painful solicitude
-Miss G. and myself would count the rolls,
-or hold a council over the pans of corn-bread,
-measuring with a string how large we could
-afford to cut the squares, to be apportioned to
-a certain number. Sometimes when from the
-causes above stated, the supplies were not<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_100"></a>[100]</span>
-issued as usual, invention had to be taxed to an
-extreme, and every available article in our pantry
-brought into requisition. We had constantly
-to fall back upon dried apples and rice
-for convalescing appetites, and herb-tea and
-arrowroot for the very ill. There was only
-one way of making the last at all palatable,
-and that was by drenching it with
-whiskey. Long abstinence in the field from
-everything that could be considered, even
-then, a delicacy, had exaggerated the fancy of
-sick men for any particular article of food
-they wanted into a passion; and they begged
-for such peculiar dishes that surgeons and
-nurses might well be puzzled. The greatest
-difficulty in granting these desires was that
-tastes became contagious, and whatever one
-patient asked for, his neighbor and the one
-next to him, and so on throughout the wards,
-craved also, and it was impossible to decide
-upon whom to draw a check.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>No Change.</i></div>
-
-<p>No one unacquainted
-with our domestic relations can appreciate
-the difficulties under which we labored.
-Stoves in any degree of newness or usefulness
-we did not have; they were rare and expensive<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_101"></a>[101]</span>
-luxuries. As may be supposed, they were not
-the most convenient articles in the world to
-pack away in blockade-running vessels; and
-the trouble and expense of land transportation
-also seriously affected the quality of the wood
-for fuel, furnished us. Timber which had been
-condemned heretofore as unfit for use, light,
-soggy and decayed, became the only quality
-available. The bacon too, cured the first two
-years of the war, when salt commanded an
-enormous price, in most cases was spoilt, from
-the economy used in preparing that article;
-and bacon was one of the sinews of war. We
-kept up brave hearts, and said we could eat the
-simplest fare, and wear the coarsest clothing, but
-there was absolutely nothing to be bought that
-did not rank as a luxury. It was wasting time
-and brain to attempt to economize, so we bent
-to the full force of that wise precept, “Sufficient
-for the day is the evil thereof.” There
-really was a great deal of heroism displayed
-when looking back, at the calm courage with
-which I learned to count the number of mouths
-to be fed daily, and then contemplating the
-food, calculate not how much but how little<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_102"></a>[102]</span>
-each man could be satisfied with. War may
-be glorious in all its panoply and pride, when
-in the field opposing armies meet and strive
-for victory; but battles fought by starving the
-sick and wounded—by crushing in by main
-force day by day all the necessities of human
-nature, make victories hardly worth the name.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Educated Rats.</i></div>
-
-<p>Another of my local troubles were the rats,
-who felt the times, and waxed strong and cunning,
-defying all attempts to entrap them,
-and skillfully levying blackmail upon us day
-by day, and night after night. Hunger had
-educated their minds and sharpened their
-reasoning faculties. Other vermin, the change
-of seasons would rid us of, but the coldest day
-in winter, and the hottest in summer, made no
-apparent difference in their vivacious strategy.
-They examined traps with the air of connoisseurs,
-sometimes springing them from a safe
-position, and kicked over the bread spread with
-butter and strychnine to show their contempt
-for such underhand warfare. The men related
-wonderful rat-stories not well enough authenticated
-to put on record, but their gourmands
-ate all the poultices applied during the night<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_103"></a>[103]</span>
-to the sick, and dragged away the pads stuffed
-with bran from under the arms and legs of the
-wounded.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Rat Surgeon.</i></div>
-
-<p>They even performed a surgical operation
-which would have entitled any of them to pass
-the board. A Virginian had been wounded in
-the very center of the instep of his left foot.
-The hole made was large, and the wound
-sloughed fearfully around a great lump of
-proud flesh which had formed in the center like
-an island. The surgeons feared to remove this
-mass, as it might be connected with the nerves
-of the foot, and lock-jaw might ensue. Poor
-Patterson would sit on his bed all day gazing at
-his lame foot and bathing it with a rueful face,
-which had brightened amazingly one morning
-when I paid him a visit. He exhibited it with
-great glee, the little island gone, and a deep
-hollow left, but the wound washed clean and
-looking healthy. Some skillful rat surgeon
-had done him this good service while in the
-search for luxuries, and he only knew that on
-awaking in the morning he had found the
-operation performed.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Novel style of catching them.</i></div>
-
-<p>I never had but one personal
-interview with any of them. An ancient<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_104"></a>[104]</span>
-gray gentleman, who looked a hundred years
-old, both in years and depravity, would eat
-nothing but butter, when that article was twenty
-dollars a pound; so finding all means of getting
-rid of him fail through his superior intelligence,
-I caught him with a fish-hook, well
-baited with a lump of his favorite butter,
-dropped into his domicile under the kitchen
-floor. Epicures sometimes managed to entrap
-them and secure a nice broil for supper, declaring
-that their flesh was superior to squirrel
-meat; but never having tasted it, I cannot add
-my testimony to its merits. They staid with
-us to the last, nor did I ever observe any signs
-of a desire to change their politics. Perhaps
-some curious <i>gourmet</i> may wish a recipe for the
-best mode of cooking them. The rat must be
-skinned, cleaned, his head cut off and his body
-laid open upon a square board, the legs
-stretched to their full extent and secured upon
-it with small tacks, then baste with bacon fat
-and roast before a good fire quickly like canvas-back
-ducks.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>No Personal Animosities.</i></div>
-
-<p>One of the remarkable features of the war<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_105"></a>[105]</span>
-was the perfect good nature with which the
-rebels discussed their foes. In no instance up
-to a certain period did I hear of any remark
-that savored of personal hatred. They fought
-for a cause and against a power, and would
-speak in depreciation of a corps or brigade;
-but “they fit us, and we fit them,” was the
-whole story generally and till the blowing up
-of the mine at Petersburg there was a gay, insouciant
-style in their descriptions of the war
-scenes passing under their observation. But
-after that time the sentiment changed from an
-innate feeling the Southern soldiers had that
-mining was “a mean trick,” as they expressed
-it. They were not sufficiently versed in military
-tactics to recognize that stratagem is fair in
-war, and what added to their indignation was
-the pouring in of <i>negro</i> soldiers when the breach
-was effected. Incensed at the surprise, they
-craved foes worthier of their steel, not caring to
-rust it in the black cloud that issued from the
-crater. The men had heretofore been calm and
-restrained, particularly before a woman, never
-using oaths or improper language, but the
-wounded that were brought in from that fight<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_106"></a>[106]</span>
-emulated the talents of Uncle Toby’s army in
-Flanders, and eyes gleamed, and teeth clenched
-as they showed me the locks of their muskets,
-to which the blood and hair still clung, when
-after firing, without waiting to re-load, they
-had clenched the barrels and fought hand to
-hand. If their accounts could be relied upon,
-it was a gallant strife and a desperate one, and
-ghastly wounds bore testimony of the truth of
-many a tale then told.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>The Bitter Blood.</i></div>
-
-<p>Once again the bitter blood showed itself,
-when, after a skirmish, the foe cut the rail
-track, so that the wounded could not be
-brought to the city. Of all the monstrous
-crimes that war sanctions, this is surely the
-most sinful. Wounded soldiers without the
-shelter of a roof, or the comfort of a bed of
-straw, left exposed to sun, dew, and rain, with
-hardly the prospect of a warm drink or decent
-food for days, knowing that comfortable quarters
-awaited them, all ready prepared, but rendered
-useless by what seems an unnecessarily
-cruel act. Was it any wonder that their habitual
-indifference to suffering gave way, and the
-soldier cursed loud and deep at a causeless inhumanity,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_107"></a>[107]</span>
-which, if practiced habitually, is worse
-than savage? When the sufferers at last
-reached the hospital, their wounds had not
-been attended to for three days, and the sight
-of them was shocking.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>A Common Sight.</i></div>
-
-<p>Busy in my kitchen, seeing that the supply
-of necessary food was in preparation, I was
-spared the sight of much of the suffering, but
-on passing among the ambulances going in and
-out of the wards I descried seated up in one of
-them a dilapidated figure, both hands holding
-his head which was tied up with rags of all
-descriptions. He appeared to be incapable of
-talking, but nodded and winked and made
-motions with head and feet. In the general
-confusion he had been forgotten, so I took him
-under my especial charge. He was taken into
-a ward, seated on a bed, while I stood on a
-bench to be able to unwind rag after rag from
-around his head. There was no sensitiveness
-on his part, for his eye was merry and bright,
-but when the last came off, what a sight!</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>A Looking-Glass Wanted.</i></div>
-
-<p>Two balls had passed through his cheek and
-jaw within half an inch of each other, knocking
-out the teeth on both sides and cutting the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_108"></a>[108]</span>
-tongue in half. The inflammation caused the
-swelling to be immense, and the absence of all
-previous attendance, in consequence of the detention
-of the wounded until the road could
-be mended, had aggravated the symptoms.
-There was nothing fatal to be apprehended, but
-fatal wounds are not always the most trying.
-The sight of this was the most sickening my
-long experience had ever seen. The swollen
-lips turned out, and the mouth filled with
-blood, matter, fragments of teeth from amidst
-all of which the maggots in countless numbers
-swarmed and writhed, while the smell generated
-by this putridity was unbearable. Castile soap
-and soft sponges soon cleansed the offensive
-cavity, and he was able in an hour to swallow
-some nourishment he drew through a quill.
-The following morning I found him reading the
-newspaper, and entertaining every one about
-him by his abortive attempts to make himself
-understood, and in a week he actually succeeded
-in doing so. The first request distinctly
-enunciated was that he wanted a looking-glass
-to see if his sweetheart would be willing to kiss
-him when she saw him. We all assured him<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_109"></a>[109]</span>
-that she would not be worthy of the name if
-she would not be delighted to do so.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Vaccination.</i></div>
-
-<p>An order come about this time to clear out
-the lower wards for the reception of improperly-vaccinated
-patients, who soon after arrived in
-great numbers. They were dreadfully afflicted
-objects, many of them with sores so deep and
-thick upon arms and legs that amputation had
-to be resorted to, to preserve life. As fast as
-the eruption would be healed in one spot, it
-would break out in another, for the blood
-seemed entirely poisoned. The unfortunate
-victims bore the infliction as they had borne
-everything else painful—with calm patience and
-indifference to suffering. Sometimes a favorable
-comparison would be made between this
-and the greater loss of limbs.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Prisoners of War.</i></div>
-
-<p>No one who
-was a daily witness to their agonies from this
-cause, can help feeling indignant at charges
-made of inhumanity to Federal prisoners of
-war, who were vaccinated with the same virus;
-and while on this subject, though it may be
-outside of the recollections of hospital life, I
-cannot help stating that on no occasion was the
-question of rations and medicines to be issued<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_110"></a>[110]</span>
-for Federal prisoners discussed in my presence;
-and circumstances placed me where I had the
-best opportunity of hearing the truth (living
-with the wife of a Cabinet officer); that good
-evidence was not given, that the Confederate
-commissary-general, by order of the government
-issued to them the same rations it gave its
-soldiers in the field, and only when reductions
-of food had to be made in our army, were they
-also made in the prisons. The question of supplies
-for them was an open and a vexed one
-among the people generally, and angry and
-cruel things were <i>said</i>; but everyone cognizant
-of facts in Richmond <i>knows</i> that even
-when Gen. Lee’s army lived on corn-meal at
-times that the prisoners still received their
-usual rations. At a cabinet meeting when the
-Commissary-general Northrop advocated putting
-the prisoners on the half rations which our
-soldiers had been obliged to content themselves
-with for some time, Gen. Lee opposed him on
-the ground that men animated by companionship
-and active service could be satisfied with
-less than prisoners with no hope and leading an
-inactive life. Mr. Davis sided with him, and the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_111"></a>[111]</span>
-question was settled that night, although in his
-anger Mr. Northrop accused Gen. Lee of showing
-this consideration because his son was a
-prisoner in the enemy’s lines.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Unwelcome Visitors.</i></div>
-
-<p>My hospital was now entirely composed of
-Virginians and Marylanders, and the nearness
-to the homes of the former entailed upon me an
-increase of care in the shape of wives, sisters,
-cousins, aunts, and whole families including
-the historic baby at the breast. They came in
-troops, and hard as it was to know how to dispose
-of them, it was harder to send them away.
-Sometimes they brought their provisions with
-them, but not often, and even when they did
-there was no place for them to cook their food.
-It must be remembered that everything was
-reduced to the lowest minimum, even fuel.
-They could not remain all day in the wards
-with men around them, and if even they were
-so willing, the restraint on wounded, restless
-patients who wanted to throw their limbs about
-with freedom during hot summer days, was unbearable.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>An Unexpected Gathering.</i></div>
-
-<p>Generally their only idea of kindness was
-giving sick men what food they would take in<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_112"></a>[112]</span>
-any quantity and of every quality, and in the
-furtherance of their views they were pugnacious
-in the extreme. Whenever rules circumscribed
-their plans they abused the government,
-then the hospital and then myself. Many ludicrous
-incidents happened daily, and I have
-often laughed heartily at seeing the harassed
-ward-master heading away a pertinacious
-female who failing to get past him at one door
-would try the three others perseveringly. They
-seemed to think it a pious and patriotic duty
-not to be afraid or ashamed under <i>any</i> circumstances.
-One sultry day I found a whole
-family accompanied by two young lady friends
-seated around a wounded man’s bed; as I
-passed through six hours later, they held the
-same position.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Counterchecks.</i></div>
-
-<p>“Had not you all better go home?” I said
-good-naturedly.</p>
-
-<p>“We came to see my cousin,” answered one
-very crossly. “He is wounded.”</p>
-
-<p>“But you have been with him all morning,
-and that is a restraint upon the other men.
-Come again to-morrow.”</p>
-
-<p>A consultation was held, but when it ceased<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_113"></a>[113]</span>
-no movement was made, the older ones only
-lighting their pipes and smoking in silence.</p>
-
-<p>“Will you come back to-morrow, and go
-now?”</p>
-
-<p>“No! You come into the wards when you
-please, and so will we!”</p>
-
-<p>“But it is my duty to do so. Besides, I always
-ask permission to enter, and never stay
-longer than fifteen minutes at a time.”</p>
-
-<p>Another unbroken silence, which was a trial
-to any patience left, and finding no movement
-made, I handed some clothing to a patient near.</p>
-
-<p>“Here is a clean shirt and drawers for you,
-Mr. Wilson; put them on as soon as I get out
-of the ward.”</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Checkmated.</i></div>
-
-<p>I had hardly reached my kitchen, when the
-whole procession, pipes and all, passed me solemnly
-and angrily; but for many days, and
-even weeks, there was no ridding the place of
-this large family connection. Their sins were
-manifold. They overfed their relative who was
-recovering from an attack of typhoid fever, and
-even defiantly seized the food for the purpose
-from under my very nose. They marched on
-me <i>en masse</i> at ten o’clock at night, with a<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_114"></a>[114]</span>
-requisition from the boldest for sleeping quarters.
-The steward was summoned, and said
-“he didn’t keep a hotel,” so in a weak moment
-of pity for their desolate state, I imprudently
-housed them in my laundry. They entrenched
-themselves there for six days, making predatory
-incursions into my kitchen during my
-temporary absences, ignoring Miss G. completely.
-The object of their solicitude recovered
-and was sent to the field, and finding my
-writs of ejectment were treated with contemptuous
-silence, I sought an explanation. The
-same spokeswoman alluded to above, met me
-half-way. She said a battle was imminent she
-had heard, and she had determined to remain,
-as her husband might be wounded. In the
-ensuing press of business she was forgotten,
-and strangely enough, her husband was brought
-in with a bullet in his neck the following week.
-The back is surely fitted to the burden, so I
-contented myself with retaking my laundry,
-and letting her shift for herself, while a whole
-month slipped away. One morning my arrival
-was greeted with a general burst of merriment
-from everybody I met, white and black. Experience<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_115"></a>[115]</span>
-had made me sage, and my first question
-was a true shot, right in the center.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Unexpected and Unwelcome Visitor.</i></div>
-
-<p>“Where is Mrs. Daniells?” (she who had
-always been spokeswoman).</p>
-
-<p>“In ward G. She has sent for you two or
-three times.”</p>
-
-<p>“What is the matter now?”</p>
-
-<p>“You must go and see.”</p>
-
-<p>There was something going on, either amusing
-or amiss. I entered ward G, and walked
-up to Daniells’ bed. One might have heard a
-pin drop.</p>
-
-<p>I had supposed, up to this time, that I had
-been called upon to bear and suffer every annoyance
-that humanity and the state of the
-country could inflict; but here was something
-most unexpected in addition; for lying composedly
-on her husband’s cot (he had relinquished
-it for the occasion), lay Mrs. Daniells,
-and her baby, just two hours old.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>What shall I do with it?</i></div>
-
-<p>The conversation that ensued is not worth
-repeating, being more of the nature of soliloquy.
-The poor little wretch had ventured into a
-bleak and comfortless portion of the world, and
-its inhuman mother had not provided a rag to<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_116"></a>[116]</span>
-cover it. No one could scold her at such a
-time, however ardently they might desire to do
-so. But what was to be done? I went in search
-of my chief surgeon, and our conversation
-although didactic was hardly satisfactory on
-the subject.</p>
-
-<p>“Doctor, Mrs. Daniells has a baby. She is
-in ward G. What shall I do with her?”</p>
-
-<p>“A baby! Bless me! Ah indeed! You
-must get it some clothes.”</p>
-
-<p>“What must I do with <i>her</i>?”</p>
-
-<p>“Move her to an empty ward and give her
-some tea and toast.”</p>
-
-<p>This was offered, but Mrs. D. said she would
-wait until dinner-time and have some bacon and
-greens.</p>
-
-<p>The baby was a sore annoyance. The ladies
-of Richmond made up a wardrobe, each contributing
-some article, and at the end of the
-month, Mrs D., the child, and a basket of
-clothing and provisions were sent to the cars
-with a return ticket to her home in western
-Virginia. My feelings of relief can be imagined.
-But the end had not come. An hour after the
-ambulance had started with them, it stopped at<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_117"></a>[117]</span>
-my kitchen door apparently empty, and the
-black driver with a grin half of delighted mischief
-and half of fear silently lifted a bundle
-out and deposited it carefully upon my kitchen
-dresser. Mrs. Daniells’ baby!</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>As Godmother.</i></div>
-
-<p>The unnatural woman had deserted it, leaving
-it in the railroad depot, but the father fortunately
-was still with us and to him I appealed.
-A short furlough was obtained for
-him, and he was despatched home with his embarrassing
-charge and a quart of milk. He was
-a wretched picture of helplessness, but had I
-sent again for the mother I should never have
-got rid of her. It may be remarked <i>en passant</i>
-that she was not wholly ungrateful, for the
-baby was named after me.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Home-sickness.</i></div>
-
-<p>There were no means of keeping the relations
-of patients from coming to them. There
-had been rules made to meet their invasion, but
-it was impossible to carry them out, as in the
-instance of a wife wanting to remain with her
-husband; and besides even the better class of
-people looked upon the comfort and care of a
-hospital as a farce. They resented the detention
-there of men who in many instances could<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_118"></a>[118]</span>
-lie in bed and point to their homes within sight,
-and argued that they would have better attention
-and food if allowed to go to their families.
-That <i>maladie du pays</i> called commonly nostalgia,
-the home-sickness which wrings the heart
-and impoverishes the blood, killed many a
-brave soldier; and the matron who day by day
-had to stand helpless and powerless by the bed
-of the sufferer, knowing that a week’s furlough
-would make his heart sing for joy, and save his
-wife from widowhood, learned the most bitter
-lesson of endurance that could be taught.</p>
-
-<p>This home-sickness recognized no palliation.
-However carefully the appetite might be pampered,
-or stimulants prepared and given, the
-food never nourished, the drink never strengthened;
-the decay would be gradual, but death
-was inevitable. Perhaps when recovery seemed
-hopeless, a statement of the case might procure
-a furlough from the examining board of
-surgeons, but the patient would then be too
-weak and low to profit by the concession.
-It was wonderful to see how long the poor
-broken machine would hold out in some cases.
-For months I have watched a victim, helpless,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_119"></a>[119]</span>
-hopeless, and motionless, simply receive into
-his mouth daily a few spoonfuls of nourishment,
-making no other movement, the skin barely
-covering the bones, and the skeleton of the face
-as sharply defined as it might have been days
-after dissolution. The answer to cheering words
-seldom exceeding a slight movement of the eyelids.
-Towards the end of the war, this detention
-of men who could have been furloughed at
-first, and some other abuses were reformed by
-allowing a board to be convened of three of the
-oldest surgeons attached to the hospital, who
-had authority to dispose of such cases without
-deferring to higher powers. There had been so
-much imposition practiced by men desirous of
-getting furloughs, and so many abuses had
-crept in despite the stringency of rules, that
-severity seemed necessary.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Spring Operations.</i></div>
-
-<p>The spring campaign of 1864 again opened
-with the usual “On to Richmond.” Day after
-day and night after night would the sudden
-explosion of cannon boom upon the air. The
-enemy were always coming, and curiosity
-seemed to have usurped the place of fear<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_120"></a>[120]</span>
-among the women. In the silence of night the
-alarm bells would suddenly peal out, till the
-order to ring them at any sign of danger was
-modified to a command to sound them only in
-case of positive attack. The people became so
-accustomed to the report of fire-arms, that they
-scarcely interrupted their conversation at corners
-of the streets to ask in what direction the
-foe was advancing, or if there was any foe at all.</p>
-
-<p>There was such entire reliance upon the
-military vigilance that guarded the city, and
-former attacks had been so promptly repelled,
-that whatever was ultimately to be the result of
-the war, no one trembled then for Richmond.
-So the summer of 1864 passed, and early in
-September our hearts were gladdened by the
-tidings that the exchange of prisoners was to be
-renewed. The sick and wounded of our hospital
-(but few in number just then), were transferred
-to other quarters, and the wards put in
-order to receive our men from Northern prisons.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Unpleasant Truths.</i></div>
-
-<p>Can any pen or pencil do justice to those
-squalid pictures of famine and desolation?
-Those gaunt, lank skeletons with the dried yellow
-flesh clinging to bones enlarged by dampness<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_121"></a>[121]</span>
-and exposure? Those pale, bluish lips
-and feverish eyes, glittering and weird when
-contrasted with the famine-stricken faces,—that
-flitting, piteous, scared smile which
-greeted their fellow creatures, all will live forever
-before the mental vision that then witnessed
-it.</p>
-
-<p>Living and dead were taken from the flag-of-truce
-boat, not distinguishable save from the
-difference of care exercised in moving them.
-The Federal prisoners we had released were in
-many instances in a like state, but our ports
-had been blockaded, our harvests burned, our
-cattle stolen, our country wasted. Even had
-we felt the desire to succor, where could the
-wherewithal have been found? But the foe,—the
-ports of the world were open to him. He
-could have fed his prisoners upon milk and
-honey, and not have missed either. When we
-review the past, it would seem that Christianity
-was but a name—that the Atonement had
-failed, and Christ had lived and died in vain.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Cast your bread upon the waters.</i></div>
-
-<p>But it was no time then for vague reflections.
-With beating heart, throbbing head and
-icy hands I went among this army of martyrs<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_122"></a>[122]</span>
-and spectres whom it was almost impossible to
-recognize as human beings; powerless to speak
-to them, choking with unavailing pity, but still
-striving to aid and comfort. There was but
-little variety of appearance. From bed to bed
-the same picture met the eye. Hardly a vestige
-of human appearance left.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Draw the Vail down.</i></div>
-
-<p>The passion of sympathy could only impede
-my efforts if yielded to, for my hand shook too
-tremulously even to allow me to put the small
-morsels of bread soaked in wine into their
-mouths. It was all we dared to give at first.
-Some laid as if dead with limbs extended, but
-the greater part had drawn up their knees to an
-acute angle, a position they never changed until
-they died. Their more fortunate comrades
-said that the attitude was generally assumed, as
-it reduced the pangs of hunger and relieved the
-craving that gnawed them by day and by night.
-The Federal prisoners may have been starved at
-the South, we cannot deny the truth of the
-charge, in many instances; but we starved with
-them; we had only a little to share with any—but
-the subject had better be left to die in
-silence.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>A Common Story.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_123"></a>[123]</span>One among them lingered in patience the
-usual three days that appeared to be their
-allotted space of life on their return. He was a
-Marylander, heir to a name renowned in the
-history of his country,<a id="FNanchor_1" href="#Footnote_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> the last of seven sons
-reared in affluence, but presenting the same
-bluish, bloodless appearance common to them
-all. Hoping that there would be some chance
-of his rallying, I gave him judicious nursing
-and good brandy. Every precaution was taken,
-but the third day fever supervened and the
-little life left waned rapidly. He gave me the
-trinkets cut from gutta percha buttons that he
-had beguiled his captivity in making at Point
-Lookout, to send to his family, handing me one
-of them for a souvenir; begged that he might
-be buried apart from the crowd in some spot
-where those who knew and cared for him might
-find him some day, and quietly slept himself to
-death that night.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>A Strange Experience.</i></div>
-
-<p>The next morning was the
-memorable 29th September, 1864, when the
-enemy made a desperate and successful attack,
-taking Fort Harrison, holding it and placing
-<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_124"></a>[124]</span>
-Richmond in jeopardy for four hours. The
-alarm bells summoned the citizens together, and
-the shops being closed to allow those who kept
-them to join the city guards, there were no
-means of buying a coffin, or getting a hearse.
-It was against the rules to keep a body beyond
-a certain time on the hospital grounds, so little
-time was to be lost if I intended keeping my
-promise to the dead. I summoned a convalescent
-carpenter from one of the wards, made
-him knock together a rough coffin from some
-loose boards, and taking the seats out of my
-ambulance had it, with the body enclosed, put
-in. My driver was at his post with the guards,
-so taking the reins and kneeling in the little
-space at the side of the coffin I started for
-Hollywood cemetery, a distance of five miles.</p>
-
-<p>The enemy were then in sight, and from
-every elevated point the masses of manœuvering
-soldiers and flash of the enemy’s cannon
-could be distinguished. Only stopping as I
-passed through the city to buy a piece of
-ground from the old cemetery agent, I reached
-Hollywood by twelve o’clock. Near the burying-ground
-I met the Rev. Mr. McCabe, requested<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_125"></a>[125]</span>
-his presence and assistance, and we
-stood side by side while the sexton dug his
-grave. The rain was pouring in torrents, while
-the clergyman repeated the Episcopal burial
-service from memory. Besides ourselves there
-but two poor women, of the humblest class of
-life—Catholics, who passing casually, dropped
-upon their knees, undeterred by the rain, and
-paid their humble tribute of respect to the
-dead.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote">“<i>We left him alone in his glory.</i>”</div>
-
-<p>He had all the honors of a soldier’s
-burial paid to him unconsciously, for the cannon
-roared and the musketry rattled, mingling
-with the thunder and lightning of Heaven’s
-artillery. The sexton held his hat over the
-small piece of paper on which I inscribed his
-name and birthplace (to be put on his headboard)
-to protect it from the rain, and with a
-saddened heart for the solitary grave we left
-behind I drove back to the city. The reverend
-gentleman was left at his home, and, perhaps,
-to this day does not know who his companion
-was during that strange hour.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Intense Anxiety.</i></div>
-
-<p>I found the city in the same state of excitement,
-for no authentic news was to be heard,
-or received, except perhaps at official quarters;<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_126"></a>[126]</span>
-and it was well known that we had no troops
-nearer than Petersburg, save the citizens who
-had enrolled themselves for defense; therefore
-too anxious to return directly to the hospital,
-I drove to the residence of one of the
-cabinet ministers, where I was engaged to
-attend a dinner, and found the mistress of the
-establishment, surrounded by her servants and
-trunks preparing for a hasty retreat when
-necessary. Some persuasion induced her to
-desist, and the situation of the house commanding
-an extensive view of the surrounding
-country, we watched the advance of the enemy
-from the extreme northeast, for with the aid of
-opera-glasses we could even distinguish the
-colors of their uniforms. Slowly onward moved
-the bodies of dark blue, emerging from and
-disappearing into the woods, seeming to be
-skirting around them, but not to be diminishing
-the distance between, although each moment
-becoming more distinct, which proved
-their advance, while not one single Confederate
-jacket could be observed over the whole sweep
-of ground.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Saved.</i></div>
-
-<p>Half an anxious hour passed, and then, far<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_127"></a>[127]</span>
-away against the distant horizon, one single
-mounted horseman emerged from a thick wood,
-looked cautiously around, passed across the
-road and disappeared. He was in gray, and
-followed by another and another, winding
-around and cutting off the foe. Then a startling
-peal at the bell, and a courier brought the
-news that Wade Hampton and his cavalry were
-close upon the rear of the enemy. There was
-no occasion for fear after this, for General
-Hampton was the Montrose of the Southern
-army, he who could make any cause famous
-with his pen and glorious with his sword. The
-dinner continued in course of preparation, and
-was seasoned, when served, by spirits brightened
-by the strong reaction.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Itinerary Labors.</i></div>
-
-<p>The horrors that attended, in past times, the
-bombardment of a city, were experienced in a
-great degree in Richmond during the fighting
-around us. The close proximity to the scenes of
-strife, the din of battle, the bursting of shells, the
-fresh wounds of the men hourly brought in were
-daily occurrences. Walking through the streets
-during this time, after the duties of the hospital<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_128"></a>[128]</span>
-were over, when night had well advanced,
-the pavement around the railroad depot would
-be crowded with wounded men just brought in,
-and laid there waiting for conveyance to the receiving
-hospitals. Some on stretchers, others
-on the bare bricks, or laid on a thin blanket,
-suffering from wounds hastily wrapped around
-with strips of coarse, unbleached, galling bandages
-of homespun cotton, on which the blood
-had congealed and stiffened until every crease
-cut like a knife. Women passing accidentally,
-like myself, would put down their basket or
-bundle, and ringing at the bell of neighboring
-houses, ask for basin and soap, warm water,
-and a few soft rags, and going from sufferer to
-sufferer, try to alleviate with what skill they
-possessed, the pain of fresh wounds, change the
-uneasy posture, and allay the thirst. Others
-would pause and look on, till the labor appearing
-to require no particular talent, they too
-would follow the example set them, and occasionally
-asking a word of advice, do their duty
-carefully and willingly. Idle boys would get a
-pine knot or tallow-dip, and stand quietly and
-curiously as torch-bearers, till the scene, with<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_129"></a>[129]</span>
-its gathering accessories formed a strange picture,
-not easily forgotten. Persons driving in
-different vehicles would alight sometimes in evening
-dress, and choosing the wounded most in
-need of surgical aid, put them in their places,
-and send them to their destination, continuing
-their way on foot. There was little conversation
-carried on, no necessity for introductions,
-and no names ever asked or given.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>A Rose by any other Name.</i></div>
-
-<p>This indifference to personality was a peculiarity
-strongly exhibited in hospitals, for after
-nursing a sick or wounded patient for
-months, he has often left without any curiosity
-exhibited as regarded my name, my
-whereabouts, or indeed any thing connected
-with me. A case in point was related by a
-friend. When the daughter of our general had
-devoted much time and care to a sick man in
-one of the hospitals, he seemed to feel so little
-gratitude for the attention paid, that her companion
-to rouse him told him that Miss Lee was
-his nurse. “Lee, Lee?” he said. “There are
-some Lees down in Mississippi who keep a
-tavern there. Is she one of them Lees?”</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Not among the Compliments.</i></div>
-
-<p>Almost of the same style, although a little<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_130"></a>[130]</span>
-worse was the remark of one of my sick, a poor
-fellow who had been wounded in the head and
-who, though sensible enough ordinarily, would
-feel the effect of the sun on his brain when exposed
-to its influence. After advising him to
-wear a wet paper doubled into the crown of his
-hat more from a desire to show some interest
-in him than from any belief in its efficacy, I
-paused at the door long enough to hear him
-ask the ward-master “who that was?” “Why,
-that is the matron of the hospital; she gives you
-all the food you eat, and attends to things.”
-“Well!” said he, “I always did think this
-government was a confounded sell, and now I
-am sure of it, when they put such a little fool
-to manage such a big hospital as this.”</p>
-
-<p>The ingenuity of the men was wonderful in
-making toys and trifles, and a great deal of
-mechanical talent was developed by the enforced
-inaction of hospital life. Every ward
-had its draught-board and draughtsmen cut out
-of hard wood and stained with vegetable dies,
-and sometimes chessmen would be cut out with
-a common knife, in such ornamentation that
-they would not have disgraced a drawing-room.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>New Uses for the Bible.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_131"></a>[131]</span>One man carved pipes from ivy root, with exquisitely-cut
-shields on the bowls, bearing the
-arms of the different States and their mottoes.
-He would charge and easily get a hundred and
-fifty dollars for a pipe (Confederate paper was
-then sixty cents for the dollar), and he only
-used his well-worn pocket-knife. Playing
-cards—the greatest comfort to alleviate the
-tedium of their sick life—were difficult to get a
-substitute for, so that the original packs had a
-hard time. They became, as may be supposed
-from the hands which used them, very dirty in
-a short time, and the corners in a particularly
-disreputable condition, but after the diffusion
-of the Oxford editions of the different books of
-the Bible sent from England as a donation, the
-soldiers took a lesson, and rounded the corners
-in imitation. A pack of cards after four years’
-use in a Southern hospital was beyond criticism.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Camp Fashions.</i></div>
-
-<p>The men had their fashions too, sometimes
-insisting upon having light blue pants drawn
-for them, and at other seasons preferring gray;
-but while the mania for either color raged, they
-would be dissatisfied with the other. When
-the quartermaster-general issued canvas shoes<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_132"></a>[132]</span>
-there was a loud dissatisfaction expressed in
-constant grumbling, till some original genius
-dyed the whitish tops by the liberal application
-of poke-berries. He was the Brummel of the
-day, and for many months crimson shoes were
-the rage, and long rows of unshod men would
-sit under the eaves of the wards, all diligently
-employed in the same labor and up to their
-elbows in red juice.</p>
-
-<p>This fashion died out, and gave place to a
-button mania. Men who had never had a
-dream or a hope beyond a horn convenience to
-keep their clothing together, saved up their
-scanty means to replace them with gilt, and
-made neat little wooden shelves with a slit
-through the middle into which the buttons
-slid, so that they could be cleaned and brightened
-without taking them off, or soiling the
-jacket. With the glitter of buttons came the
-corresponding taste for gilt bands and tinsel
-around the battered hat, so that while our
-future was lowering darker and darker, our
-soldiers were amusing themselves like children
-who had no interest in the coming results.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Life was so Sweet.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_133"></a>[133]</span>The duty which of all others pressed most
-heavily upon me and which I never did perform
-voluntarily was that of telling a man he
-could not live, when he was perhaps unconscious
-that there was any danger apprehended
-from his wound. The idea of death so seldom
-occurs when disease and suffering have not
-wasted the frame and destroyed the vital energies,
-that there is but little opening or encouragement
-to commence such a subject unless the
-patient suspects the result ever so slightly. In
-many cases too, the yearning for life was so
-strong that to destroy the hope was beyond
-human power. Life was for him a furlough,
-family and friends once more around him; a
-future was all he wanted, and considered it
-cheaply purchased if only for a month by the
-endurance of any wound, however painful or
-wearisome.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Difficult Responsibilities.</i></div>
-
-<p>There were long discussions among those
-responsible during the war, as to the advisability
-of the frequent amputations on the
-field, and often when a hearty, fine-looking man
-in the prime of life would be brought in minus
-an arm or leg, I would feel as if it might have<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_134"></a>[134]</span>
-been saved, but experience taught me the wisdom
-of prompt measures. Poor food and great
-exposure had thinned the blood and broken
-down the system so entirely that secondary
-amputations performed in the hospital almost
-invariably resulted in death, after the second
-year of the war. The blood lost on the battlefield
-when the wound was first received would
-enfeeble the already impaired system and
-render it incapable of further endurance.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Failures.</i></div>
-
-<p>Once we received a strong, stalwart soldier
-from Alabama, and after five days’ nursing,
-finding the inflammation from the wound in his
-arm too great to save the limb, the attending
-surgeon requested me to feed him on the best I
-could command; by that means to try and give
-him strength to undergo amputation. Irritability
-of stomach as well as indifference to food
-always accompanying gun-shot wounds, it was
-necessary, while the fever continued, to give
-him as much nourishment in as small a compass
-as possible, as well as easily digestible
-food, that would assimilate with his enfeebled
-condition. Beef tea he (in common with all
-soldiers and I believe men) would not, or could<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_135"></a>[135]</span>
-not take, or anything I suggested as an equivalent,
-so getting his consent to drink some
-“chemical mixture,” I prepared the infusion.
-Chipping up a pound of beef and pouring upon
-it a half pint of water, the mixture was stirred
-until all the blood was extracted, and only a
-tea-spoonful of white fibre remained; a little
-salt was added, and favored by the darkness of
-the corner of the ward in which he lay, I induced
-him to swallow it. He drank without
-suspicion, and fortunately liked it, only complaining
-of its being too sweet; and by the end
-of ten days his pulse was fairly good, and there
-had been no accession of fever. Every precaution
-was taken, both for his sake and the benefit
-of the experiment, and the arm taken off by
-the most skillful surgeon we had. After the
-amputation, which he bore bravely, he looked
-as bright and well as before, and so on for five
-days—then the usual results followed. The
-system proved not strong enough to throw out
-the “pus” or inflammation; and this, mingling
-with the blood, produced that most fatal of
-all diseases, pyæmia, from which no one ever
-recovers.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Erin-go-bragh.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_136"></a>[136]</span>He was only one of numerous cases, so that
-my heart beat twice as rapidly as ordinarily
-whenever there were any arrangements progressing
-for amputation, after any length of
-time had elapsed since the wound, or any effort
-made to save the limb. The only cases under
-my observation that survived were two Irishmen,
-and it was really so difficult to kill an Irishman
-that there was little cause for boasting on the
-part of the officiating surgeons. One of them
-had his leg cut off in pieces, amputation having
-been performed three times, and the last heard
-from him was that he had married a young
-wife and settled on a profitable farm she owned
-in Macon, Georgia. He had touched the boundary
-lines of the “unknown land,” had been
-given up by the surgeons, who left me with
-orders to stimulate him if possible. The priest
-(for he was a Catholic) was naturally averse to
-my disturbing what he considered the last moments
-of a dying man who had made his confession
-and taken his farewell of this world,
-and which ought to have been devoted to less
-worldly temptations than mint juleps; and a
-rather brisk encounter was the result of a<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_137"></a>[137]</span>
-difference of opinion on the subject; for if he
-was responsible for the soul, so was I for the
-body, and I held my ground firmly.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Whiskey</i> versus <i>Religion.</i></div>
-
-<p>It was hard for an Irishman and a good
-Catholic to have to choose at this supreme moment
-between religion and whiskey; but
-though his head was turned respectfully
-towards good Father T—— his eyes rested too
-lovingly on the goblet offered to his lips to
-allow me to make any mistake as to the results
-of his ultimate intentions. The interpretation
-put by me on that look was that Callahan
-thought that as long as first proof brandy and
-mint lasted in the Confederacy this world was
-good enough for him, and the result proved
-that I was not mistaken. He always gave me
-the credit I have awarded to the juleps, and
-until the evacuation of Richmond kept me
-informed of his domestic happiness.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>My Furlough.</i></div>
-
-<p>Though my health up to this time had withstood
-the bad effects of exposure and exertion,
-the strain had become too great, and the constantly
-recurring agitation which had been<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_138"></a>[138]</span>
-excited each day on receiving the returned
-prisoners, had broken me down completely. A
-visit to the surgeon-general with a request for a
-month’s leave of absence, met with a ready acquiescence.
-The old gentleman was very
-urbane, even making one or two grim jokes,
-and handed me not only permission to leave,
-but the necessary transportation. Very necessary
-in this case, as traveling expenses were
-enormously high, and the government had
-seized for the whole month of October the railroads
-for military use, putting a complete stop
-to private travel.</p>
-
-<p>It had been like tearing body and soul apart,
-when necessity compelled me to leave my hospital,
-from which I had never been separated
-but one day in nearly four years; and when all
-arrangements for departure had been completed,
-Miss G. urged, entreated and commanded
-to keep a sharp look-out upon the
-whiskey, and be alike impenetrable to feints,
-stratagems and entreaties, my heart began to
-sink. A visit to the wards did not tend to
-strengthen my wavering resolves. The first invalid
-to whom I communicated the news of my<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_139"></a>[139]</span>
-intended departure burst into a passion of
-tears, and improved my frame of mind by requesting
-me to kill him at once, for he would
-certainly die if left. Standing by his bedside,
-unsettled and irresolute, all the details of my
-daily life rose before me. The early and comforting
-visit to the sick after their feverish,
-restless night; when even if there were no good
-to be effected, they would feel the kindness, and
-every man’s head would be thrust out of the
-bed-clothes as by one impulse, and jealousy
-evinced when a longer pause by one bedside
-than another would arouse the feeling. Often
-has the ward-master recalled me when at, the
-distance of a quarter of a mile from his ward, at
-the request of a patient, and when going back
-to find out what was wanted, a hearty convalescent
-would explain that I had passed through
-and omitted to speak to him.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Off.</i></div>
-
-<p>Farewells were exchanged at last, and the
-6th October, 1864, found me at the Fredericksburg
-station, <i>en route</i> for Georgia. A search
-at the last moment before stepping into the
-cars, discovered that my keys, together with
-my watch, had been left at the hospital, while,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_140"></a>[140]</span>
-as an equivalent, there remained at the bottom
-of my basket half a salt mackerel (a rare luxury
-in the Confederacy), begged for a sick man who
-fancied it, a day before, and forgotten in the
-hurry of packing. I was compelled to defer my
-start until the 7th.</p>
-
-<p>There are some schoolday recollections hanging
-around the softening by Hannibal of a
-rugged journey by the plentiful application of
-vinegar; but what acid could soften the rigors
-of that trip to Georgia? They can hardly be recounted
-in any degree of limited space. With
-the aid of two gentlemen, and indeed every disengaged
-man on the road, a safe termination
-was effected after many days, and a delicious
-holiday passed in idleness and <i>Confederate</i> luxury,
-free from the wear and tear of constantly
-excited feelings. Then came the stern reflection
-that I had no right to exceed the furlough of
-thirty days accorded by Dr. Moore. A search
-was immediately made for an escort, which having
-failed, general advice was unanimously
-given to “go alone,” on the grounds that
-women had become entirely independent at this
-time, and “no man knowing the object of your<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_141"></a>[141]</span>
-journey could fail to give you all the assistance
-you would need.”</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>A Hard Road to Travel.</i></div>
-
-<p>Fired with this Quixotic sentiment, an early
-start was made. Finding almost immediately
-that I had not received checks for my trunks, I
-ventured, while the afflatus lasted, to touch a
-man who sat in front of me on the arm, and
-request him to call the conductor. “I am sorry
-to say that I am not acquainted with him,”
-was the answer; and down I went to zero, never
-rising again till my journey was accomplished.</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps the details of my trials may give my
-readers some idea of the state of the country at
-that time. At West Point, which took an hour
-and a half’s travel to reach from Legrange, we
-had to sleep all night, there being no connection
-for twelve hours. There were no bed-rooms,
-and no candles to be had, and the female travelers
-sat in the little bar of the tavern (the
-leading hotel being closed) brightened by a
-pine knot, with their feet on the sanded floor,
-and ate what they had provided themselves
-with from their baskets.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Services not Required.</i></div>
-
-<p>Another two hours’ travel on to Opelika the
-next day, and another detention for half-a-dozen<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_142"></a>[142]</span>
-hours. At Columbus, a rumor that the
-cars had been seized for government transportation
-made me anxious concerning the nature of
-my ticket, which I found to my dismay was not
-suited to meet the emergency through some inadvertence;
-so long before starting-time I was
-waiting at the depot seated on my trunk, half
-amused and half mortified at the resemblance
-thus offered to an emigrant Irish servant woman.
-The place was crowded with invalided
-soldiers, for the government was moving the
-hospitals to the lower part of the State, and
-idle spectators seeing my evident alarm offered
-all kinds of irrational advice. A suggestion
-was sensibly made by some one that by seeking
-one of the most helpless of the wounded and
-requesting him to allow me to pass as his nurse
-my object might be effected; but every man to
-whom I opened my proposals seemed alarmed
-at and opposed to this idea. Towards the last
-the confusion became distracting—everybody
-calling for the conductor, who possessing no
-power, the cars being under military control,
-first denied his identity and then hid himself.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Friend to the “Faymales.”</i></div>
-
-<p>Help came at the last moment in the form of<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_143"></a>[143]</span>
-a red-faced, half-tipsy Irish porter who had
-been cheering me on with winks of encouragement
-at my frantic efforts for some time. “Lit
-me put yer trunks on,” he said, and “thin go to
-Col. Frankland at the rare of the cars—sure
-he’s the man to help the faymales.”</p>
-
-<p>My forlorn hope, Col. Frankland, was standing
-on the platform at the extreme rear of the
-cars, surrounded by a semi-circle below, about
-twenty-five feet deep, all pressing on to get to
-seats already too full. He was gesticulating
-and shouting like a madman. The lame, the
-halt, and the blind stood around. Crutches,
-splints, and huge sticks represented a small
-wood. Green blinds over eyes, raw faces peeled
-from erysipelas, and still showing variegated
-hues of iodine, gave picturesqueness to the
-scene. Had he borne Cæsar and his fortunes
-he could not have been more interested. For
-two hours he had been stemming this living tide.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>A Bold Attempt.</i></div>
-
-<p>I had met and fraternized with a lady and
-gentleman, old acquaintances, encountered at
-the depot, who appeared as anxious to get
-Northward as myself; so telling her not to
-move until I had either achieved my object or<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_144"></a>[144]</span>
-failed, and if I made her a sign to join me, I
-took my position at the fag end of the crowd
-below the colonel, and undeterred by distance
-and uproar I essayed a faint call for notice.
-The sound died away in my throat, but my
-Irish friend (I am sure he took me for one of
-his cousins from the “ould counthrie”), was
-by my side in an instant and repeated the call.
-A hundred voices took up the refrain, “A lady
-wants to speak to the colonel,” and universal
-curiosity regarding the <i>private</i> nature of my
-business being exhibited by a profound silence
-I raised my voice as Mause Headrigg said,
-“like a pelican in the wilderness:”</p>
-
-<p>“Col. Frankland, I must get forward on this
-train to-night. Government business requires
-me to be in Richmond by the 1st November.”</p>
-
-<p>“Can’t do it, Madam. Would like to oblige
-you, but can’t go against my orders. The cars
-are for the use of sick and wounded soldiers
-alone.”</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>None but the fair deserve the brave.</i></div>
-
-<p>“But Col. Frankland, hundreds of invalids
-are waiting for their breakfast, dinner and
-supper in Richmond. I am the matron of ——
-hospital.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_145"></a>[145]</span>“Can’t help it, Madam! If you men there
-don’t keep away from this platform and leave a
-passage way, I’ll put the front rank under
-arrest!”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh! Col. Frankland, cannot I stand on
-the platform, if I am not allowed to use the
-cars?”</p>
-
-<p>“No, Madam, it would be dangerous. Sorry
-to refuse.”</p>
-
-<p>“Let me go in the freight train.”</p>
-
-<p>“There is no freight train.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, the box cars? I take very little
-room.”</p>
-
-<p>“They are crowded, Madam, crowded.
-Keep off, men, keep off there!”</p>
-
-<p>The steam blew and whistled fearfully and
-the bell clanged an uproar of sound. A passing
-car came rushing by and my courage was
-oozing fast. “Try him agin!” said my Irish
-friend, who unable to get near me, shouted his
-secret.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Importance of Hair-Pins.</i></div>
-
-<p>“Oh! Col. Frankland, excuse my pertinacity,
-but what <i>can</i> I do? Let me go on in
-the mail car! I will not even open my eyes to
-look at the outside of the letters.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_146"></a>[146]</span>“Against the law. Cannot be done. How
-can I infringe upon my orders? Will no one
-keep those confounded men off?”</p>
-
-<p>“<i>I will</i>, Col. Frankland, if you will let me
-get up by your side. I will keep every single
-man away. Now men, keep off, I beg of you,
-for I must get to Richmond, and moreover, I
-wear very long hair-pins.”</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you, Madam, thank you. Now
-men, you hear what this lady says, and I know
-she will be as good as her word.” A hundred
-hands helped me up. I looked for my friend
-the red-nosed Irishman, but he was gone.
-Another moment and my friend stood by my
-side, assisted by the Irishman, who tipped me a
-comprehensive wink which set my mind at rest
-as regarded the safety of my trunk.</p>
-
-<p>“This is not fair,” said the Colonel. “You
-promised that no one should get on.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no, I promised that not a <i>single man</i>
-should do so. This is a woman. Will you let
-her husband join her? He is not a <i>single</i> man,
-for he has a wife and nine children!”</p>
-
-<p>The result may be imagined. Our party,
-very much relieved, were soon inside, where we<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_147"></a>[147]</span>
-found four comfortable seats reserved for Gen.
-Beauregard and staff, which were unoccupied
-from those gentlemen being detained at Macon.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Another Attempt.</i></div>
-
-<p>At that city, where we were compelled to
-pass the night, the same state of things existed,
-and with depressed spirits I drove to the cars
-to see if any arrangement could be effected
-by which I could pursue my journey. The
-road would not be opened to the traveling public
-for a month, so an effort had to be made.
-An appeal to the authorities resulted as I expected,
-in defeat, so I again tried my manœuver
-of trying to interest subordinates.</p>
-
-<p>Failing, however, and baffled at every turn,
-while sitting again upon my trunk, the mail
-agent, standing in the doorway of his car,
-caught my eye. Improving the opportunity, I
-commenced a conversation, ending in an insinuating
-appeal to be taken into the mail box.
-Success and installation in his little square
-domicil followed, and my friend, passing out
-without any explanation, locked the door on
-the outside. There were no windows and no
-light whatever; the hour six in the evening.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Frightened at Last.</i></div>
-
-<p>Seated in loneliness and darkness till the town<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_148"></a>[148]</span>
-clock struck eight, every fear that could arise
-in the brain of a silly woman assailed me. Did
-the train I was in go to Augusta, and if not,
-would I be left where I was all night? Was
-the man who locked me up the mail agent? If
-he came back and robbed and murdered me,
-would any one ever miss me? Having had
-nothing to eat but a couple of biscuits in
-twenty-four hours, and my brain being, in consequence,
-proportionately light, imagination
-seized the reins from common sense, which fled
-in the presence of utter darkness and loneliness.</p>
-
-<p>At last the key turned in the lock, and the
-light of a lantern dispelled some of my terrors.
-The cars started and the agent commenced sorting
-his letters, first bolting us in securely. A
-couple of hours passed and my mind was gradually
-losing its tone of unpleasant doubt as to
-the wisdom of my proceedings, when my busy
-companion knocked off work and essayed to
-play the agreeable. He was communicative in
-the extreme, giving me his biography, which
-proved him to be a Connecticut man, and very
-much dissatisfied with the Confederacy, particularly<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_149"></a>[149]</span>
-with the state of the money market. So
-long as he kept to his personal recollections all
-was right, but he soon claimed a return of confidence,
-and grew hourly more patronizing and
-conversational. His tone and manner, the
-loneliness of the position, and the impossibility
-of any fortunate interruption occurring becoming
-unbearable at last, there is no knowing what
-I might have ventured to do, in the way of
-breaking out, if the cars had not fortunately
-run off the track.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>All’s well that ends well.</i></div>
-
-<p>On we bumped, happily on
-level ground, for two minutes or more; the engineer
-entirely unconscious of the fact and no
-way of communicating with him, as the soldiers
-were lying over the rope on the top of the cars,
-so that pulling was in vain. At last a pause,
-and then a crowd, and then a familiar name was
-called, most welcome to my ears. I repeated it
-aloud until the owner was by my side, and the
-rest of the night was spent in asking questions
-and receiving information. At daylight he left
-me to rejoin his command, while we continued
-on to Augusta.</p>
-
-<p>As usual, when we arrived there no vehicle
-of any kind met us at the depot, but being the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_150"></a>[150]</span>
-only woman in the cars, the mail driver offered
-me a seat upon the mail-bags, and as it was
-raining I accepted, and in this august style
-reached the hotel by breakfast time. All military
-suspension ceased here, but there was detention
-for two hours, and this was enlivened
-by an amusing episode at the depot.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Up-country Georgia Eloquence.</i></div>
-
-<p>Directly in front of me sat an old Georgia
-up-country woman, placidly regarding the box
-cars full of men on the parallel rails, waiting
-like ourselves to start. She knitted and gazed,
-and at last inquired “who was them ar soldiers,
-and whar was they a-going to?” The information
-that they were Yankee prisoners startled
-her considerably. The knitting ceased abruptly
-(all the old women in the Southern
-States knitted socks for the soldiers while traveling),
-and the Cracker bonnet of dark brown
-homespun was thrown back violently, for her
-whole nervous system seemed to have received
-a galvanic shock. Then she caught her breath
-with a long gasp, lifted on high her thin, trembling
-hand, accompanied by the trembling
-voice, and made them a speech:</p>
-
-<p>“Ain’t you ashamed of you-uns,” she<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_151"></a>[151]</span>
-piped, “a-coming down here a-spiling our
-country, and a-robbing our hen-roosts? What
-did we ever do to you-uns that you should
-come a-killing our brothers and sons? Ain’t
-you ashamed of you-uns? What for do you
-want us to live with you-uns, you poor white
-trash? I ain’t got a single nigger that would be
-so mean as to force himself where he warn’t
-wanted, and what do we-uns want with you?
-Ain’t you——” but here came a roar of
-laughter from both cars, and shaking with excitement
-the old lady pulled down her spectacles,
-which in the excitement she had pushed
-up on her forehead, and tried in vain to resume
-her labors with uncertain fingers.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>General Desolation.</i></div>
-
-<p>From here to Richmond there occurred the
-usual detentions and trials of railroad travel
-under the existing circumstances. The windows
-of the cars were broken out in many
-places. Sometimes no fire for want of stoves,
-and the nights damp and chilly. All in utter
-darkness, for the lamps were gone, and could
-they have been replaced, there would have been
-no oil.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>A Woman has an Opinion.</i></div>
-
-<p>We crawled along, stopping every hour<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_152"></a>[152]</span>
-almost, to tinker up some part of the car or the
-road, getting out at times when the conductor
-announced that the travelers must walk “a
-spell or two,” meaning from one to five miles.
-Crowds of women were getting in and out all
-the way, the male passengers grumbling aloud
-that “women had better stay at home, they
-had no business to be running around in such
-times.” This was said so often that it became
-very unpleasant, till the tables were turned
-early one morning at Gainsborough, when a
-large-sized female made her way along the
-center of the car, looking from right to left in
-the vain search for a seat. None being vacant,
-she stopped short, and addressed the astonished
-male passengers with more vigor than elegance:
-“What for pity sake do you men mean
-by running all around the country for, instead
-of staying in the field, as you ought to do?
-You keep filling up the cars so that a woman
-can’t attend to her business. Your place should
-be opposite the enemy.” This diversion on our
-behalf was received silently, but many seats
-were soon vacated by their occupants on the
-plea of “taking a little smoke.”</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Beaten at Last.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_153"></a>[153]</span>At last, the 1st of November found me
-weary, hungry, cold and exhausted by travel at
-the Richmond depot, four hours after schedule
-time; with that most terrible scourge, a bad,
-nervous headache racking me all over. The
-crowd around was immense, so that by the time
-it opened and dispersed sufficiently to let me
-make my way through, every vehicle had left,
-if there had ever been any there before. As
-usual, my telegram had not been received, so
-there was no one to meet me, and pain rendering
-me indifferent to appearances I quietly
-spread my shawl upon a bench and myself
-upon it. For how long I cannot say, but I was
-roused by a voice asking what I wanted, and
-what was the matter? “Any kind of a vehicle
-to take me home,” was the answer. After a
-few moments’ delay my new friend returned
-with the information that there was only a
-market cart, which if I was willing to ride in,
-was for hire. If it had been a hearse it would
-have been hailed with welcome. My two
-trunks were put on, and I was deposited on
-them. The hour, eleven at night.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>One of our Future Presidents.</i></div>
-
-<p>I looked first at the horse. He had a<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_154"></a>[154]</span>
-shadowy gray skin stretched over his prominent
-bones, and in the dim, misty light, seemed
-a mere phantom. The driver next came under
-observation. A little dried-up, gray black, old
-darkey, with a brown rag tied around his head,
-but like all his species he was kindly disposed
-and respectful. Directions were given him to
-drive to a friend’s house. He said that his
-horse was too tired, but if I were willing, he
-had another “at his place,” where he would
-drive me and change.</p>
-
-<p>Quite willing, or rather too weary to assert
-any authority, so on we rumbled and rattled
-almost twice the distance I was first bound,
-changed one skeleton for another, and started
-again for my friend’s house. At last the
-blessed haven was reached, but the sight of a
-new face to my summons at the door made my
-heart sink. She had “moved yesterday.”</p>
-
-<p>“Drive to Miss G.’s house,” was my next
-direction, intending to throw myself upon her
-hospitality and charity for the night, for we
-were out of the way of all hotels.</p>
-
-<p>The same result on application. Had all
-Richmond moved? The fresh air, and the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_155"></a>[155]</span>
-necessity for exertion in this novel position had
-routed my headache, and now gave me courage
-to make a proposition I hadn’t dared to make
-before.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Compromises.</i></div>
-
-<p>“Could not you drive me to the hospital on
-the hill?” was my demand made in most ingratiating
-tones.</p>
-
-<p>The old man untied the rag from off his
-head, and smoothed it on his knee by way of
-ironing out the creases and assisting reflection;
-replaced it, taking up the reins again before he
-answered, for we were now at a stand-still at
-the Broad street hill.</p>
-
-<p>“Missis,” said he solemnly, “de way it is
-long, and de bridges dey is rotten; but ef you
-is not afeared to dribe ober dem by you-self,
-and let me git out, and pay me ten dollars, de
-ole hoss might be consarned to go up dis yere
-hill.”</p>
-
-<p>The bargain was struck, and the hospital
-reached after midnight. The key of my apartments
-sent for, when the duplicate hair that at
-last broke the camel’s back was laid upon mine.</p>
-
-<p>“Miss G. had taken it with her.”</p>
-
-<p>“Bring a carpenter,” I cried desperately;<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_156"></a>[156]</span>
-“and tell him to get a sledge-hammer and
-knock down, or in, anything that will let me
-get into the place. I <i>must</i> have rest.”</p>
-
-<p>The door was broken open; a fire was
-kindled; a delicious piece of cold hard corn-bread
-found and devoured, and when the warm
-covering of the first bed I had slept in for ten
-days was drawn around me, all the troubles of
-a hard world melted away, and the only real
-happiness on earth, entire exemption from
-mental and bodily pain, took possession of me.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>And Comparisons.</i></div>
-
-<p>I noticed on my return a great difference in
-the means of living between Virginia and the
-Gulf States. Even in the most wealthy and
-luxurious houses in Richmond, former everyday
-comforts had about this time become
-luxuries, and had been dispensed with earlier
-in the war.</p>
-
-<p>Farther south, they still received from Nassau
-what they needed, always running the risks
-of losing the cargoes of the blockade-runners,
-therefore duplicating orders. Tea and coffee
-were first given up at the capital, then many
-used corn flour,—wheat was so high. Gradually<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_157"></a>[157]</span>
-butter disappeared from the breakfast
-table, and brown sugar when it reached twenty
-dollars a pound shared the same fate. But no
-such economy appeared necessary where I had
-been. The air of the people in the cars and
-around the railroad stations was hopeful in the
-extreme. There was no doubt expressed even
-at this late day, the November of 1864, as to the
-ultimate success of the Southern cause.</p>
-
-<p>Their hospitals though did not compare with
-those I had left in Virginia, either in arrangement,
-cleanliness or attendance. Even as early
-as 1862 the matrons’ places there had been filled
-by ladies of education and refinement; but this
-with a few exceptions had been the rule in Virginia
-only, and such supervision made a marked
-difference, as may be supposed.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Entire Resumption.</i></div>
-
-<p>During my absence, the greater portion of
-the patients I had left a month previously had
-either recovered and left, or died, so that it was
-awkward to resume my duties among strangers.
-A few days’ visiting rectified this however.
-The happiest welcome I got was from Miss G.,
-who resigned the key of the liquor closet with
-a sigh which spoke volumes. From what could<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_158"></a>[158]</span>
-be gathered, she had been equal to the occasion,
-and knowing the hardships of her dragonship I
-did not press her strenuously upon points connected
-with it.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Christmas Festivities.</i></div>
-
-<p>The health of the army was now so good,
-that except when the wounded were sent in, we
-were comparatively idle. That terrible scourge,
-pneumonia, so prevalent early in the war, and
-so fatal in its typhoid form, had almost disappeared.
-The men had become accustomed and
-inured to exposure. Christmas passed pleasantly.
-The hospital fund (from the great depreciation
-of the money) being too small to allow
-us to make much festive preparation, the ladies
-of the city drove out in carriages and ambulances
-laden with good things. The previous
-years we had been enabled to give out of the
-expenditure of our own funds a bowl of egg-nogg
-and a slice of cake, for lunch, to every
-man in the hospital, as well as his portion of
-turkey and oysters for dinner; but times were
-more stringent now.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Discussions regarding the Hero.</i></div>
-
-<p>Soon after New Year, 1865, some members
-of the committee on hospital affairs called to
-see me, desirous of getting some information<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_159"></a>[159]</span>
-regarding the use or abuse of liquor, before the
-bill for the appropriations for the coming year
-would be introduced. There were doubts afloat
-as to whether the benefit conferred upon the
-patients by the use of stimulants counterbalanced
-the evil effects they produced on the surgeons,
-who were in the habit of making use of
-them when they could get them.</p>
-
-<p>The problem was difficult to solve. A case
-in point had lately come under my observation.
-A man had been brought into our hospital with
-a crushed ankle, the cars having run over it.
-He had been attended to, and the leg put in
-splints before we had received him, so as he
-was still heavy and drowsy, possibly from some
-anodyne administered, the surgeon in attendance
-ordered him to be left undisturbed. The
-nurse in a few hours came to me to say that the
-man was suffering intensely. He had a burning
-fever, and complained of the fellow leg instead
-of the injured one. The natural idea of
-sympathy occurred, and a sedative given which
-failed in producing any effect. I determined
-to look at it in spite of orders, his sufferings
-appearing so great, and finding the foot and leg<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_160"></a>[160]</span>
-above and below the splint perfectly well, the
-thought of examining the fellow leg suggested
-itself. It was a most shocking sight—swollen,
-inflamed and purple—the drunken surgeon had
-set the wrong leg! The pain induced low fever,
-which eventually assumed a typhoid form, and
-the man died. With this instance fresh in my
-memory I hesitated to give any opinion in
-favor, and yet felt we could not manage without
-the liquor. However, the appropriation
-was made.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Scribbled Eggs and Flitters.</i></div>
-
-<p>This poor fellow was the most dependent
-patient I ever had, and though entirely uneducated,
-won his way to my sympathies by his
-entire helplessness and belief in the efficacy of
-my care and advice. No surgeon in the hospital
-could persuade him to swallow anything
-in the shape of food unless I sanctioned the
-order, and a few kindly words, or an encouraging
-nod would satisfy and please him. His
-ideas of luxuries were curious, and his answer
-to my daily inquiries of what he could fancy
-for food, was invariably the same—he would
-like some “scribbled eggs and flitters.” This
-order was complied with three times daily,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_161"></a>[161]</span>
-until the doctor prescribed stronger food and
-though many dainties were substituted, he still
-called them by the same name, leading me to
-suppose that “scribbled eggs and flitters” was
-his generic term for food.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Un-chew-able Food.</i></div>
-
-<p>I made him some jelly—Confederate jelly—with the substitution
-of whiskey for Madeira wine, and citric acid for
-lemons, but he said “he did not like it, there
-was no chewing on it,” and “it all went, he
-did not know where!” so I gave up trying to
-tempt his palate.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Culinary Mortifications.</i></div>
-
-<p>When whole wards would be emptied of
-their occupants, in compliance with changes
-made to suit certain views of the surgical department,
-and strangers put in, I would always
-feel a great repugnance to visiting them. But
-when the change became gradual, by the convalescents,
-in twos or threes or half-dozens, being
-exchanged for invalids, there would always be
-enough men left to whom I was known, to
-make me feel at home, and to inform the newcomers
-why I came among them, and what my
-duties were. I now found my hospital filled
-with strangers. They were not so considerate<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_162"></a>[162]</span>
-as my old friends had been, and looked rather
-with suspicion upon my daily visits. One man
-amused me particularly by keeping a portion
-of his food every day for my special and
-agreeable inspection, as he thought, and my
-particular annoyance, as I felt. A specimen of
-everything he thought unpalatable was deposited
-under his pillow, to await my arrival, and
-the greeting invariably given me was:</p>
-
-<p>“Do you call that good bread?”</p>
-
-<p>“Well no, not very good: but the flour is
-very dark and musty.”</p>
-
-<p>Another day he would draw out a handfull
-of dry rice.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you call <i>that</i> properly boiled?”</p>
-
-<p>“That is the way we boil rice in Carolina.
-Each grain must be separated.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well! I won’t eat mine boiled that way.”</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Pickles</i> versus <i>Homespun.</i></div>
-
-<p>And so on through all the details of his
-food. Somebody he felt was responsible, and
-unfortunately he determined that I should be
-the scapegoat. His companion who laid by his
-side was even more disagreeable than he was.
-Being a terrible pickle consumer, he indulged
-in such extreme dissipation in that luxury that<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_163"></a>[163]</span>
-a check had to be put upon his appetite. He
-attacked me upon this grievance the first chance
-he found, and listened scornfully to my remarks
-that pickles were luxuries to be eaten
-sparingly and used carefully. “Perhaps,” he
-said at last, “we would have more pickles if
-you had fewer new dresses.” There was no
-doubt that I wore a new homespun dress, but
-what connection it had with the pickles was
-rather mysterious. However, that afternoon
-came a formal apology, written in quite an elegant
-style, and signed by every man in the
-ward, except the pickle man, in which the fault
-of this cruel speech was laid upon the bad
-whiskey.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Beginning of the End.</i></div>
-
-<p>All this winter of ’64, the city had been unusually
-gay. Besides parties, private theatricals
-and tableaux were constantly exhibited.
-Wise and thoughtful men disapproved openly
-of this mad gayety. There was certainly a
-painful discrepancy between the excitement of
-dancing and the rumble of ambulances that
-could be heard in the momentary lull of the
-music, carrying the wounded to the different<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_164"></a>[164]</span>
-hospitals. Young men advocated this state of
-affairs, arguing that after the fatigues and dangers
-of a campaign in the field, some relaxation
-was necessary on their visits to the capital.</p>
-
-<p>To thinking people this recklessness was
-ominous; and by the end of February, 1865,
-it began to be felt by them that all was not as
-safe as it was supposed to be. The incessant
-moving of troops through the city from one
-point to another proved weakness, and the
-scarcity of rations issued told a painful tale.
-People rated the inefficiency of the commissary
-department, and predicted that a change in
-its administration would make all right. Soon
-afterwards the truth was told me in confidence
-and under promise of strict secresy. Richmond
-would be evacuated in a month or six weeks.
-The time might be lengthened or shortened, but
-the fact was established.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Agitations.</i></div>
-
-<p>Then came the packing up, quietly but
-surely, of the different departments. Requisitions
-on the medical purveyor were returned
-unfilled, and an order from the surgeon-general
-required that herbs instead of licensed medicines
-should be used in the hospitals. There<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_165"></a>[165]</span>
-was a great deal of merriment elicited from the
-“yarb teas,” drawn during this time by the
-surgeons; few knowing the sad cause of their
-substitution. My mind had been very unsettled
-as to my course of action in view of the
-impending crash, but my duty prompted me to
-remain with my sick, on the ground that no
-general ever deserts his troops. But to be left
-by all my friends to meet the dangers and privations
-of an invested city, among antagonistic
-influences, with the prospect of being turned
-out of my office the next day after the surrender,
-was not a cheering one. Even my home
-would no longer be open to me; for staying
-with a cabinet minister, he would leave with
-the government. I was spared the necessity of
-decision by the sudden attack of General Grant,
-and the breaking of the Confederate lines, and
-before there was time to think at all, the government
-and all its train had vanished.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>History.</i></div>
-
-<p>On the 2nd of April, 1865, while the congregation
-of Dr. Minnegarode’s church in Richmond
-were listening to his Sunday sermon, a
-messenger entered and handed a telegram to<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_166"></a>[166]</span>
-Mr. Davis, then president of the Confederate
-States, who rose immediately, and without any
-visible signs of agitation or surprise, left the
-church. No alarm was exhibited by the congregation,
-though several members of the president’s
-staff followed him, till Dr. Minnegarode
-brought the service to an abrupt close, and informed
-his started flock that the city would be
-evacuated shortly, and they would only exercise
-a proper degree of prudence by going home
-immediately, and preparing for the event.
-This announcement, although coming from
-such a reliable source, hardly availed to convince
-the Virginians that their beloved capital,
-assailed so often, defended so bravely, surrounded
-by fortifications on which the engineering
-talents of their best officers had been
-expended, was to be capitulated. Some months
-before, a small number admitted behind the
-vail of the temple had been apprised that the
-sacrifice was to be accomplished; that General
-Lee had again and again urged Mr. Davis to
-yield this Mecca of his heart to the interests of
-the Confederacy, and resign a city which required
-an army to hold it, and pickets to be<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_167"></a>[167]</span>
-posted from thirty to forty miles around it,
-weakening his depleted army; and again and
-again had the iron will triumphed, and the foe,
-beaten and discomfited, retired for fresh combinations
-and fresh troops.</p>
-
-<p>But the hour had come, and the evacuation
-was only a question of time. Day and night
-had the whistle of cars proved to the anxious
-people that brigades were being moved to
-strengthen this point or defend that; and no
-one was able to say exactly where any portion
-of the army of Virginia was stationed. That
-Grant would make an effort to strike the South-side
-railroad—the main artery for the conveyance
-of food to the city—every one <i>knew</i>; and
-that General Lee would be able to meet the
-effort and check it, everybody <i>hoped</i>, and while
-this hope lasted there was no panic.</p>
-
-<p>The telegram which reached Mr. Davis that
-Sunday morning, was to the effect that the
-enemy <i>had</i> struck, and on the weakest point of
-the Confederate lines. It told him to be prepared
-in event of the repulse failing. Two
-hours after came the fatal news that Grant had
-forced his way through, and that the city must<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_168"></a>[168]</span>
-instantly be evacuated. What is meant by that
-simple sentence “evacuation of the city” but
-few can imagine who have not experienced it.
-The officials of the various departments hurried
-to their offices, speedily packing up everything
-connected with the government. The quartermaster’s
-and commissary’s stores were thrown
-open and thousands of the half-starved and half-clad
-people of Richmond rushed to the scene.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Picture of the Times.</i></div>
-
-<p>Delicate women tottered under the weight
-of hams, bags of coffee, flour and sugar. Invalided
-officers carried away articles of unaccustomed
-luxury for sick wives and children
-at home. Every vehicle was in requisition,
-commanding fabulous remuneration, and gold
-or silver the only currency accepted. The immense
-concourse of government employes,
-speculators, gamblers, strangers, pleasure and
-profit lovers of all kinds that had been attached
-to that great center, the Capital, were “packing,”
-while those who had determined to stay
-and await the chances of war, tried to look
-calmly on, and draw courage from their faith in
-the justness of their cause.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>The Departure.</i></div>
-
-<p>The wives and families of Mr. Davis and his<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_169"></a>[169]</span>
-cabinet had been sent away some weeks previously,
-so that no provision had been made for
-the transportation of any particular class of people.
-All the cars that could be collected were
-at the Fredericksburg depot, and by 3 o’clock
-P. M. the trains commenced to move. The scene
-at the station was of indescribable confusion.
-No one could afford to abandon any article of
-wear or household use, when going where they
-knew that nothing could be replaced. Baggage
-was as valuable as life, and life was represented
-there by wounded and sick officers and men,
-helpless women and children, for all who could
-be with the army were at their post.</p>
-
-<p>Hour after hour fled and still the work went
-on. The streets were strewn with torn papers,
-records and documents too burdensome to carry
-away, too important to be left for inspection,
-and people still thronged the thoroughfares,
-loaded with stores until then hoarded by the
-government and sutler shops.</p>
-
-<p>The scream and rumble of the cars never
-ceased all that weary night, and was perhaps
-the most painful sound to those left behind, for
-all the rest of the city seemed flying; but while<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_170"></a>[170]</span>
-the center of Richmond was in the wildest confusion,
-so sudden had been the shock that the
-suburbs were quiet and even ignorant of the
-scenes enacting in the heart of the city. Events
-crowded so rapidly upon each other that no one
-had time to spread reports.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Burning of the City.</i></div>
-
-<p>There was no change in the appearance of
-the surroundings till near midnight, when the
-school-ship, the <i>Patrick Henry</i>, formerly the
-old United States ship <i>Yorktown</i>, was fired at
-the wharf at Rocketts (the extreme eastern end
-of the city). The blowing up of her magazine
-seemed the signal for the work of destruction
-to commence. Explosions followed from all
-points. The warehouses and tobacco manufactories
-were fired, communicating the flames to
-the adjacent houses and shops, and soon Main
-street was in a blaze. The armory, not intended
-to be burnt, either caught accidentally or was
-fired by mistake; the shells exploding and filling
-the air with hissing sounds of horror, menacing
-the people in every direction. Colonel
-Gorgas had endeavored to spike or destroy
-them by rolling them into the canal, and
-but for this precaution with the largest, the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_171"></a>[171]</span>
-city would have been almost leveled to the
-dust.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Last Scenes.</i></div>
-
-<p>No one slept during that night of horror,
-for added to the present scenes were the anticipations
-of what the morrow would bring forth.
-Daylight dawned upon a wreck of destruction
-and desolation. From the highest point of
-Church hill and Libby hill, the eye could range
-over the whole extent of city and country—the
-fire had not abated, and the burning bridges
-were adding their flame and smoke to the scene.
-A single faint explosion could be heard from
-the distance at long intervals, but the <i>Patrick
-Henry</i> was low to the water’s edge and Drewry
-but a column of smoke. The whistle of the
-cars and the rushing of the laden trains still
-continued—they had never ceased—and the
-clouds hung low and draped the scene as morning
-advanced.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Taking Possession.</i></div>
-
-<p>Before the sun had risen, two carriages
-rolled along Main street, and passed through
-Rocketts just under Chimborazo hospital, carrying
-the mayor and corporation towards the
-Federal lines, to deliver the keys of the city,
-and half an hour afterwards, over to the east, a<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_172"></a>[172]</span>
-single Federal blue-jacket rose above the hill,
-standing transfixed with astonishment at what
-he saw. Another and another sprang up as if
-out of the earth, but still all remained quiet.
-About seven o’clock, there fell upon the ear the
-steady clatter of horses’ hoofs, and winding
-around Rocketts, close under Chimborazo hill,
-came a small and compact body of Federal cavalrymen,
-on horses in splendid condition, riding
-closely and steadily along. They were well
-mounted, well accoutered, well fed—a rare
-sight in Southern streets,—the advance of that
-vaunted army that for four years had so hopelessly
-knocked at the gates of the Southern
-Confederacy.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Entrance of the Federal Army</i></div>
-
-<p>They were some distance in advance of the
-infantry who followed, quite as well appointed
-and accoutered as the cavalry. Company after
-company, regiment after regiment, battalion
-after battalion, and brigade after brigade, they
-poured into the doomed city—an endless
-stream. One detachment separated from the
-main body and marching to Battery No. 2,
-raised the United States flag, their band playing
-the Star Spangled Banner. There they<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_173"></a>[173]</span>
-stacked their arms. The rest marched along
-Main street through fire and smoke, over burning
-fragments of buildings, emerging at times
-like a phantom army when the wind lifted the
-dark clouds; while the colored population
-shouted and cheered them on their way.</p>
-
-<p>Before three hours had elapsed, the troops
-had been quartered and were inspecting the
-city. They swarmed in every highway and byway,
-rose out of gullies, appeared on the top of
-hills, emerged from narrow lanes, and skirted
-around low fences. There was hardly a spot in
-Richmond not occupied by a blue coat, but
-they were orderly, quiet and respectful.
-Thoroughly disciplined, warned not to give
-offense by look or act, they did not speak to
-any one unless first addressed; and though
-the women of the South contrasted with sickness
-of heart the difference between this splendidly-equipped
-army, and the war-worn, wasted
-aspect of their own defenders, they were grateful
-for the consideration shown them; and if
-they remained in their sad homes, with closed
-doors and windows, or walked the streets with
-averted eyes and vailed faces, it was that they<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_174"></a>[174]</span>
-could not bear the presence of invaders, even
-under the most favorable circumstances.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Occupation of the City.</i></div>
-
-<p>Before the day was over, the public buildings
-were occupied by the enemy, and the
-minds of the citizens relieved from all fear of
-molestation. The hospitals were attended to,
-the ladies being still allowed to nurse and care
-for their own wounded; but rations could not
-be drawn yet, the obstructions in the James
-river preventing the transports from coming up
-to the city. In a few days they arrived, and
-food was issued to those in need. It had been
-a matter of pride among the Southerners to
-boast that they had never seen a greenback, so
-the entrance of the Federal army had thus
-found them entirely unprepared with gold and
-silver currency. People who had boxes of Confederate
-money and were wealthy the day
-previously, looked around in vain for wherewithal
-to buy a loaf of bread. Strange exchanges
-were made on the street of tea and
-coffee, flour and bacon. Those who were fortunate
-in having a stock of household necessaries
-were generous in the extreme to their less
-wealthy neighbors, but the destitution was terrible.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_175"></a>[175]</span>The sanitary commission shops were
-opened, and commissioners appointed by the
-Federals to visit among the people and distribute
-orders to draw rations, but to effect this,
-after receiving tickets, required so many appeals
-to different officials, that decent people
-gave up the effort. Besides, the musty corn-meal
-and strong cod-fish were not appreciated
-by fastidious stomachs—few gently nurtured
-could relish such unfamiliar food.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Amusements Furnished.</i></div>
-
-<p>But there was no assimilation between the
-invaders and invaded. In the daily newspaper
-a notice had appeared that the military bands
-would play in the beautiful capital grounds
-every afternoon, but when the appointed hour
-arrived, except the Federal officers, musicians
-and soldiers, not a white face was to be seen.
-The negroes crowded every bench and path.
-The next week another notice was issued that
-the colored population would not be admitted;
-and then the absence of everything and anything
-feminine was appalling. The entertainers
-went alone to their own entertainment. The
-third week still another notice appeared:
-“colored nurses were to be admitted with their<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_176"></a>[176]</span>
-white charges,” and lo! each fortunate white
-baby received the cherished care of a dozen
-finely-dressed black ladies, the only drawback
-being that in two or three days the music
-ceased altogether, the entertainers feeling at
-last the ingratitude of the subjugated people.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Wicked Ingratitude.</i></div>
-
-<p>Despite their courtesy of manner, for however
-despotic the acts, the Federal authorities
-maintained a respectful manner—the newcomers
-made no advance towards fraternity.
-They spoke openly and warmly of their sympathy
-with the sufferings of the South, but
-committed and advocated acts that the hearers
-could not recognize as “military necessities.”
-Bravely-dressed Federal officers met their
-former old class-mates from colleges and military
-institutions and inquired after the relatives
-to whose houses they had ever been welcome in
-days of yore, expressing a desire to “call and
-see them,” while the vacant chairs, rendered
-vacant by Federal bullets, stood by the hearth
-of the widow and bereaved mother. They
-could not be made to understand that their
-presence was painful. There were few men in
-the city at this time; but the women of the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_177"></a>[177]</span>
-South still fought their battle for them: fought
-it resentfully, calmly, but silently! Clad in
-their mourning garments, overcome but hardly
-subdued, they sat within their desolate homes,
-or if compelled to leave that shelter went on
-their errands to church or hospital with vailed
-faces and swift steps. By no sign or act did
-the possessors of their fair city know that they
-were even conscious of their presence. If they
-looked in their faces they saw them not: they
-might have supposed themselves a phantom
-army. There was no stepping aside with affectation
-to avoid the contact of dress, no feigned
-humility in giving the inside of the walk: they
-simply totally ignored their presence.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Circus and Pictorial Food.</i></div>
-
-<p>Two particular characteristics followed the
-army in possession—the circus and booths for
-the temporary accommodation of itinerant venders.
-The small speculators must have supposed
-that there were no means of cooking left
-in the city, from the quantity of canned edibles
-they offered for sale. They inundated Richmond
-with pictorial canisters at exorbitant
-prices, which no one had money to buy.
-Whether the supply of greenbacks was scant,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_178"></a>[178]</span>
-or the people were not disposed to trade with
-the new-comers, they had no customers.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Distinguished Visitors.</i></div>
-
-<p>In a few days steamboats had made their
-way to the wharves, though the obstructions
-still defied the ironclads, and crowds of curious
-strangers thronged the pavements, while squads
-of mounted male pleasure-seekers scoured the
-streets. Gayly-dressed women began to pour in
-also, with looped-up skirts, very large feet, and
-a great preponderance of spectacles. The Richmond
-women sitting by desolated firesides were
-astonished by the arrival of former friends,
-sometimes people moving in the best classes of
-society, who had the bad taste to make a pleasure
-trip to the mourning city, calling upon
-their heart-broken friends of happier days in all
-the finery of the newest New York fashions,
-and in some instances forgiving their entertainers
-the manifold sins of the last four years
-in formal and set terms.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Miracles.</i></div>
-
-<p>From the hill on which my hospital was
-built, I had sat all the weary Sunday of the
-evacuation, watching the turmoil, and bidding
-friends adieu, for even till noon many had been
-unconscious of the events that were transpiring,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_179"></a>[179]</span>
-and now when they had all departed, as night
-set in, I wrapped my blanket-shawl around me,
-and watched below me all that I have here narrated.
-Then I walked through my wards and
-found them comparatively empty. Every man
-who could crawl had tried to escape a Northern
-prison. Beds in which paralyzed, rheumatic,
-and helpless patients had laid for months were
-empty. The miracles of the New Testament
-had been re-enacted. The lame, the halt, and
-the blind had been cured. Those who were
-compelled to remain were almost wild at being
-left in what would be the enemy’s lines the
-next day; for in many instances they had been
-exchanged prisoners only a short time before.
-I gave all the comfort I could, and with some
-difficulty their supper also, for my detailed
-nurses had gone with General Lee’s army, and
-my black cooks had deserted me.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Left “alone in my glory.”</i></div>
-
-<p>On Monday morning, the day after the evacuation,
-the first blue uniforms appeared at our
-quarters—three surgeons inspecting the hospital.
-As our surgeon was with them, there must have
-been an amicable understanding. One of our
-divisions was required for use by the new-comers,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_180"></a>[180]</span>
-cleared out for them, and their patients laid
-by the side of our own sick so that we shared
-with them, as my own commissary stores were
-still well supplied. Three days afterwards an
-order came to transfer my old patients to Camp
-Jackson. I protested bitterly against this, as
-they were not in a fit state for removal, so they
-remained unmolested. To them I devoted my
-time, for our surgeons had either then left or
-received orders to discontinue their labors.</p>
-
-<p>Towards evening the place was deserted.
-Miss G. had remained up to this time with me,
-but her mother requiring her presence in the
-city, she left at sunset, and after I had gone
-through all my wards, I returned to my dear
-little sitting-room, endeared by retrospection,
-and the consciousness that my labors were
-nearly over, but had been (as far as regarded
-results) in vain!</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Hero re-appears.</i></div>
-
-<p>The Federal authorities had as yet posted
-no guards around, and as our own had been
-withdrawn, or rather had left, being under no
-control or direction, not a sound broke the stillness
-of the sad night. Exhausted with all the
-exciting events of the day, it was not to be<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_181"></a>[181]</span>
-wondered at that I soon fell asleep heavily and
-dreamlessly, to be awakened in an hour by the
-crash of an adjoining door, and passing into my
-pantry from whence the sound proceeded I
-came upon a group of men, who had burst the
-entrance opening upon the back premises. As
-my eye traveled from face to face, I recognized
-them as a set of “hospital rats” whom I had
-never been able to get rid of, for if sent to the
-field one week, they would be sure to be back
-the next, on some trifling pretext of sickness or
-disability. The ringleader was an old enemy,
-who had stored up many a grievance against
-me, but my acts of kindness to his sickly wife
-naturally made me suppose his wrath had been
-disarmed. He acted on this occasion as spokesman,
-and the trouble was the old one. Thirty
-gallons of whiskey had been sent to me the day
-before the evacuation, and they wanted it.</p>
-
-<p>“We have come for the whiskey!”</p>
-
-<p>“You cannot, and shall not have it.”</p>
-
-<p>“It does not belong to you.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is in my charge, and I intend to keep it.
-Go out of my pantry; you are all drunk.”</p>
-
-<p>“Boys!” he said, “pick up that barrel<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_182"></a>[182]</span>
-and carry it down the hill. I will attend to
-<i>her</i>!”</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Noli me tangere.</i></div>
-
-<p>But the habit of obedience of four years still
-had its effect on the boys, for all the movement
-they made was in a retrograde direction.</p>
-
-<p>“Wilson,” I said, “you have been in this
-hospital a long time. Do you think from what
-you know of me that the whiskey can be taken
-without my consent?”</p>
-
-<p>He became very insolent.</p>
-
-<p>“Stop that talk; your great friends have all
-gone, and we won’t stand that now. Move out
-of the way!”</p>
-
-<p>He advanced towards the barrel, and so did
-I, only being in the inside, I interposed between
-him and the object of contention. The
-fierce temper blazed up in his face, and catching
-me roughly by the shoulder, he called me a
-name that a decent woman seldom hears and
-even a wicked one resents.</p>
-
-<p>But I had a little friend, which usually reposed
-quietly on the shelf, but had been removed
-to my pocket in the last twenty-four
-hours, more from a sense of protection than
-from any idea that it would be called into<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_183"></a>[183]</span>
-active service; so before he had time to push
-me one inch from my position, or to see what
-kind of an ally was in my hand, that sharp
-click, a sound so significant and so different
-from any other, struck upon his ear, and
-sent him back amidst his friends, pale and
-shaken.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>Victory Perches on my Banner.</i></div>
-
-<p>“You had better leave,” I said, composedly
-(for I felt in my feminine soul that although I
-was near enough to pinch his nose, that I had
-missed him), “for if <i>one</i> bullet is lost, there are
-five more ready, and the room is too small for
-even a woman to miss six times.”</p>
-
-<p>There was a conference held at the shattered
-door, resulting in an agreement to leave, but he
-shook his fist wrathfully at my small pop-gun.</p>
-
-<p>“You think yourself very brave now, but
-wait an hour; perhaps others may have pistols
-too, and you won’t have it entirely your way
-after all.”</p>
-
-<p>My first act was to take the head of one of
-the flour barrels and nail it across the door as
-tightly as I could, with a two-pound weight for
-a hammer, and then, warm with triumph and
-victory gained, I sat down by my whiskey barrel<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_184"></a>[184]</span>
-and felt the affection we all bestow on what
-we have cherished, fought for, and defended
-successfully; then putting a candle, a box of
-matches, and a pistol within reach of my hand,
-I went to sleep, never waking until late in the
-morning, having heard nothing more of my
-visitors.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Confederate Full Dress.</i></div>
-
-<p>The next day the steward informed me that
-our stores had been taken possession of by the
-Federal authorities, so we could not draw the
-necessary rations. The surgeons had all left;
-therefore I prepared for a visit to headquarters,
-by donning my full-dress toilette: boots of
-untanned leather, tied with thongs; a Georgia
-woven homespun dress in black and white
-blocks—the white, cotton yarn, the black, an
-old silk, washed, scraped with broken glass into
-pulp, and then carded and spun (it was an elegant
-thing); white cuffs and collar of bleached
-homespun, and a hat plaited of the rye straw
-picked from the field back of us, dyed black
-with walnut juice, a shoe-string for ribbon to
-encircle it; and knitted worsted gloves of three
-shades of green—the darkest bottle shade being
-around the wrist, while the color tapered to the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_185"></a>[185]</span>
-loveliest blossom of the pea at the finger-tips.
-The style of the make was Confederate.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Casus belli.</i></div>
-
-<p>Thus splendidly equipped I walked to Dr.
-M.’s office, now Federal headquarters, and
-making my way through a crowd of blue coats,
-accosted the principal figure seated there, with
-a stern and warlike demand for food, and a curt
-inquiry whether it was their intention to starve
-their captured sick. He was very polite, laid
-the blame on the obstructions in the river,
-which prevented their transports getting up. I
-requested that as such was the case I might be
-allowed to reclaim my ambulance, now under
-their lock and key, in order to take some coffee
-then in my possession to the city and exchange
-it for animal food. It had been saved from
-rations formerly drawn, and donations given.
-He wished to know why it had not been turned
-over to the U. S. government, but did not press
-the point as I was not communicative, and gave
-me the necessary order for the vehicle. Then
-polite conversation commenced.</p>
-
-<div class="leftnote"><i>The Law of Nations.</i></div>
-
-<p>“Was I a native of Virginia?”</p>
-
-<p>“No; I was a South Carolinian, who had
-gone to Virginia at the commencement of the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_186"></a>[186]</span>
-war to try and aid in alleviating the sufferings
-and privations of the hospitals.”</p>
-
-<p>“He had lost a brother in South Carolina.”</p>
-
-<p>“It was the fate of war. Self-preservation
-was the first law of nature. As a soldier he
-must recognize defense of one’s native soil.”</p>
-
-<p>“He regretted the present state of scarcity,
-for he could see in the pale faces and pinched
-features of the Richmond women, how much
-they had suffered during the war.”</p>
-
-<p>I retorted quickly this wound to both
-patriotism and vanity.</p>
-
-<p>He meant to be polite, but that he was
-unlucky was shown by my answer.</p>
-
-<p>“If my features were pinched, and my face
-pale, it was not caused by privations under the
-Confederacy, but the anguish consequent upon
-our failure.”</p>
-
-<p>But his kindness had once again put my ambulance
-under my control, and placing a bag of
-coffee and a demijohn of whiskey in it, I assumed
-the reins, having no driver, and went to
-market. The expedition was successful, as I
-returned shortly with a live calf, for which I
-had exchanged them, and which summoned<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_187"></a>[187]</span>
-every one within hearing by its bellowing. I
-had quite won the heart of the Vermonter who
-had been sentry at my door, and though patriotic
-souls may not believe me, he paid me many
-compliments at the expense of the granite
-ladies of his State. The compliments were sincere,
-as he refused the drink of whiskey my
-gratitude offered him.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>Liberty or Death.</i></div>
-
-<p>My next visit was to the commissary department
-of my hospital in search of sugar. Two
-Federal guards were in charge, but they simply
-stared with astonishment as I put aside their
-bayonets and unlocked the door of the place
-with my pass-key, filled my basket, with an explanation
-to them that I could be arrested
-whenever wanted at my quarters.</p>
-
-<p>After this no one opposed my erratic movements,
-the new-comers ignoring me. No explanation
-was ever given to me, why I was
-allowed to come and go, nurse my men and
-feed them with all I could take or steal. All I
-ever gathered was from one of our errand-boys,
-who had fraternized with a Yankee sutler, who
-told him confidentially that the Federal surgeon
-in charge thought that woman in black<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_188"></a>[188]</span>
-had better go home, and added on his own responsibility,
-“He’s awful afraid of her.”</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>At Last!</i></div>
-
-<p>Away I was compelled to go at last, for my
-sick were removed to another hospital, where I
-still attended to them. There congregated the
-ladies of the neighborhood, bringing what delicacies
-they could gather, and nursing indiscriminately
-any patient who needed care. This
-continued till all the sick were either convalescent
-or dead, and at last my vocation was
-gone, and not one invalid left to give me a pretext
-for daily occupation.</p>
-
-<p>And now when the absorbing duties of the
-last years no longer demanded my whole
-thoughts and attention, the difficulties of my
-own position forced themselves upon my mind.
-Whatever food had been provided for the sick
-since the Federal occupation had served for
-my small needs, but when my duties ceased I
-found myself with a box full of Confederate
-money and a silver ten-cent piece; perhaps a
-Confederate <i>gage d’amitie</i>; which puzzled me
-how to expend. It was all I had for a support,
-so I bought a box of matches and five cocoa-nut
-cakes. The wisdom of the purchase there is no<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_189"></a>[189]</span>
-need of defending. Should any one ever be in
-a strange country where the currency of which
-he is possessed is valueless, and ten cents be his
-only available funds, perhaps he may be able to
-judge of the difficulty of expending it with
-judgment.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>The Mother of States.</i></div>
-
-<p>But of what importance was the fact that I
-was houseless, homeless and moneyless, in
-Richmond, the heart of Virginia? Who ever
-wanted for aught that kind hearts, generous
-hands or noble hospitality could supply, that it
-was not there offered without even the shadow
-of a patronage that could have made it distasteful?
-What women were ever so refined in feeling
-and so unaffected in manner; so willing to
-share all that wealth gives, and so little infected
-with the pride of purse that bestows that
-power? It was difficult to hide one’s needs
-from them; they found them out and ministered
-to them with their quiet simplicity and
-the innate nobility which gave to their generosity
-the coloring of a favor received; not conferred.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>My Thanks.</i></div>
-
-<p>I laughed carelessly and openly at the disregard
-shown by myself for the future, when<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_190"></a>[190]</span>
-every one who had remained in Richmond,
-apparently had laid aside stores for daily food,
-but they detected with quick sympathy the
-hollowness of the mirth, and each day at every
-hour of breakfast, dinner and supper, would
-come to me a waiter, borne by the neat little
-Virginia maid (in her white apron), filled with
-ten times the quantity of food I could consume,
-packed carefully on. Sometimes boxes would
-be left at my door, with packages of tea, coffee,
-sugar and ham, or chicken, and no clue given
-to the thoughtful and kind donor.</p>
-
-<p>Would that I could do more than thank the
-dear friends who made my life for four years so
-happy and contented; who never made me feel
-by word or act, that my self-imposed occupation
-was otherwise than one which would ennoble
-any woman. If ever any aid was given through
-my own exertions, or any labor rendered effective
-by me for the good of the South—if any
-sick soldier ever benefited by my happy face
-or pleasant smiles at his bedside, or death was
-ever soothed by gentle words of hope and tender
-care, such results were only owing to the
-cheering encouragement I received from them.</p>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>And Gratitude.</i></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_191"></a>[191]</span>They were gentlewomen in every sense of the
-word, and though they might not have remembered
-that “<i>noblesse oblige</i>” they felt and
-acted up to the motto in every act of their lives.
-My only wish was to live and die among them,
-growing each day better from contact with
-their gentle, kindly sympathies and heroic
-hearts.</p>
-
-<p>It may never be in my power to do more
-than offer my heartfelt thanks, which may
-reach their once happy homes; and in closing
-these simple reminiscences of hospital experience,
-let me beg them to believe that whatever
-kindness my limited powers have conferred on
-the noble soldiers of their State, has been repaid
-tenfold, leaving with me an eternal, but grateful
-obligation.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" /><div class="section"></div>
-
-<div class="sidenote"><i>The End.</i></div>
-
-<p>There is one subject connected with hospitals
-on which a few words should be said—the
-distasteful one that a woman must lose a certain
-amount of delicacy and reticence in filling
-any office in them. How can this be? There is
-no unpleasant exposure under proper arrangements,
-and if even there be, the circumstances<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_192"></a>[192]</span>
-which surround a wounded man, far from
-friends and home, suffering in a holy cause and
-dependent upon a woman for help, care and
-sympathy, hallow and clear the atmosphere in
-which she labors. That woman must indeed be
-hard and gross, who lets one material thought
-lessen her efficiency. In the midst of suffering
-and death, hoping with those almost beyond
-hope in this world; praying by the bedside of
-the lonely and heart-stricken; closing the eyes
-of boys hardly old enough to realize man’s sorrows,
-much less suffer by man’s fierce hate, a
-woman <i>must</i> soar beyond the conventional
-modesty considered correct under different circumstances.</p>
-
-<p>If the ordeal does not chasten and purify
-her nature, if the contemplation of suffering
-and endurance does not make her wiser and
-better, and if the daily fire through which she
-passes does not draw from her nature the sweet
-fragrance of benevolence, charity, and love,—then,
-indeed a hospital has been no fit place for
-her!</p>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<div class="footnotes">
-<p class="noindent large bold">FOOTNOTE:</p>
-
-<div class="footnote">
-
-<p class="fn-para"><a name="Footnote_1" id="Footnote_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a>
- Richard Hammond Key, grandson of Francis Barton
-Key, author of “Star Spangled Banner.”</p>
-
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<hr class="chap" />
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<div class="transnote">
-
-<p class="center bold small"><a id="TN" name="TN"></a>Transcriber’s Note (continued)</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-1">Obvious punctuation errors have been corrected.</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-1">Other errors have been corrected as follows:</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-2">Page 75 – “unconsious” changed to “unconscious” (I sat by the boy, unconscious himself that any)</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-2">Page 105 – “Petersburgh” changed to “Petersburg” (blowing up of the mine at Petersburg)</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-2">Page 118 – “to go their” changed to “to go to their” (if allowed to go to their families)</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-2">Page 129 – “Missisippi” changed to “Mississippi” (down in Mississippi)</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-2">Page 139 – “Fredericksburgh” changed to “Fredericksburg” (at the Fredericksburg station)</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-2">Page 166 – “started” changed to “startled” (informed his startled flock)</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-2">Page 167 – “made” changed to “make” (That Grant would make an effort)</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-2">Page 174 – “neighbers” changed to “neighbors” (less wealthy neighbors)</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-1">Obsolete spelling that was common for its time has been retained. Variations in hyphenation
-have been regularised if a generally agreed usage was observed but left unchanged otherwise.</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-1">Page headers that appear in the book are included in this transcribed text as sidenotes.</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-1">The single footnote has been re-indexed using a number and moved to the end of the book.</p>
-
-<p class="TN-style-1"><a class="underline" href="#top">Back to top</a></p>
-</div>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<hr class="pgx" />
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