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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #64975 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/64975)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of Chambers's Journal of Popular Literature,
-Science, and Art, Fifth Series, No. 6, Vol. I, February 9, 1884, by Various
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: Chambers's Journal of Popular Literature, Science, and Art,
- Fifth Series, No. 6, Vol. I, February 9, 1884
-
-Author: Various
-
-Release Date: April 03, 2021 [eBook #64975]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Susan Skinner, Eric Hutton and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was
- produced from images generously made available by The Internet
- Archive)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CHAMBERS'S JOURNAL OF POPULAR
-LITERATURE, SCIENCE, AND ART, FIFTH SERIES, NO. 6, VOL. I, FEBRUARY 9,
-1884 ***
-
-
-
-
-[Illustration: CHAMBERS’S JOURNAL
-
-OF
-
-POPULAR
-
-LITERATURE, SCIENCE, AND ART
-
-Fifth Series
-
-ESTABLISHED BY WILLIAM AND ROBERT CHAMBERS, 1832
-
-CONDUCTED BY R. CHAMBERS (SECUNDUS)
-
-NO. 6.—VOL. I. SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 1884. PRICE 1½_d._]
-
-
-
-
-CIRCULATING-LIBRARY CRITICS.
-
-
-It appears to be a mania with some people to criticise everything which
-comes in their way, no matter whether it be the last new bonnet of Mrs
-Smith, the pug dog possessed by Mr Jones, or the last new novel by
-Mr Brown; and as a true specimen of the ready-made critic, we might
-cite those interesting individuals who, having more time upon their
-hands than they can comfortably get rid of, endeavour to dispose of
-some of the surplus stock by subscribing to a circulating library, and
-diligently ‘cutting-up’ and otherwise abusing every author they read.
-Novels, of course, are the principal dish of these readers; and it must
-candidly be admitted that some of the notes pencilled in the margins
-are not altogether uncalled for; though some of them are decidedly
-personal, not to say unpleasant; while others, on the contrary, only
-raise a smile, and if particularly ridiculous, are underlined by some
-sarcastic reader, in order to call more attention to the blunder, which
-has probably been committed by some indolent and not very well-informed
-critic.
-
-But taken as a whole, this criticism, although in some cases severe,
-is but the echo of public opinion, and as such, is entitled to
-consideration, no matter how humble the source may appear from which
-it springs; and we know of nothing more enjoyable than a well-read
-book, which has been some ten or twelve months in circulation. And
-such a book would without doubt prove of great service to its author,
-could he by any means get hold of a copy; for he would then have the
-opportunity of judging for himself how his work was appreciated by the
-public; and although some of the remarks would doubtless cause him
-annoyance, he should remember that they are the candid opinion of the
-readers through whose hands the work has passed. And if he has good
-sense and a desire to please the public, he would avail himself of
-those critical remarks which seemed to be just, and alter the text in
-any future editions. It is an author’s place to write his work to the
-best of his ability, and that of his readers to criticise it after it
-has appeared in print. Whether the book be good or bad, the author may
-be sure that he will have a faithful and industrious army of critics in
-the shape of subscribers to circulating libraries, who will diligently
-search out all its little defects, and display them in the margin for
-the edification of the next reader, who in turn will try his best to
-discover something which the other has passed over, and triumphantly
-display it in a similar manner. Although ‘the stone that is rolling’
-is said to gather no moss, it is a far different thing with a novel;
-for the faster it passes from hand to hand, the more and more abundant
-becomes its crop; and at a seaside watering-place, the writer has seen
-blank sheets of letter-paper inserted between some of the leaves,
-because the margins were already too crowded, to admit of some reader
-adding his mite to the evidence there accumulated!
-
-This is why we suppose it might be advantageous to an author to get
-hold of a copy of his work which has been through a like ordeal; and
-let him remember at the same time that his book has probably travelled
-through the hands of some people who are intimately acquainted with
-certain subjects upon which it treats, and whose opinion is not to be
-lightly passed over. As some of the novelists of the present day seem
-to think the law a machine which they can work upon as they choose,
-without the slightest regard to facts, it might be recommended to
-them either to study the subject seriously, or submit any notes which
-may appear upon this subject in the margins of their works, to an
-experienced lawyer; and in nine cases out of ten, the author will find
-that the readers’ notes are correct. This may be taken as a proof that
-people, although they may pass rough criticism upon the characters,
-situation, and general plot of a novel, are not so eager to criticise
-points which touch upon the law, physic, &c., unless they thoroughly
-understand the subject. As an instance of this, we have heard of a
-doctor who would never read a new novel by a certain author, because
-in a former work this gentleman had murdered a man in a manner which
-my friend described as being ‘utterly ridiculous;’ for the poison
-administered, and of which the character in the novel died, would not
-in reality ‘have killed a cat.’
-
-These remarks may serve to show that the public, although they may
-accept a taking title, a pretty cover, and a pound or so of toned
-paper, as a novel, will also exercise their right of picking its
-contents to pieces as soon as possible. To show with what diligence
-some of them do so, we quote the following: ‘The red rose actually
-_died_ the captain’s cheeks.’ The word in italics is underlined in the
-book, and altered in the margin to _dyed_. This, of course, is merely
-a printer’s error; but it serves to show how the circulating-library
-critic delights in ‘cutting-up’ the work of other people’s brains,
-and exposing to the best advantage any little defect he may discover.
-Then, again, in the same work, in describing the scene of a shipwreck,
-the author makes use of the following words: ‘Quantities of chips, and
-pieces of wood, and bits of _iron, were floating about_.’ The words in
-italics are underlined in pencil by some incredulous reader, who could
-not quite appreciate the joke, and took this method of calling the next
-reader’s attention to it. The words might have been a mere slip of the
-pen; but, as they stand underlined in the book, it is impossible to
-overlook them now.
-
-A little farther on in the same work, an unmarried gentleman is
-supposed to have made his will, bequeathing all his property to
-friends settled in the colonies; and his relatives at his decease are
-disputing the same, when this paragraph occurs, and is supposed to be
-uttered by a _lawyer_: ‘But had he lived to marry Lady A——, he would
-surely have cancelled this will!’ Probably had the gentleman lived, he
-would have done so; but our pencil-critic shows that such an act would
-have been altogether unnecessary, by writing against the paragraph:
-‘The act of marrying would have rendered it null.’ This is strictly
-and legally correct; and as the words are supposed to be spoken by a
-lawyer, it shows that the opinion of these gentlemen is not always to
-be implicitly relied upon, especially when they air them in a novel.
-
-To turn now to the criticising of situations, we find our amateur
-critic is quite as hard upon them as he is upon the characters, and
-will not allow a novelist to make use of situations which it is
-scarcely probable would happen in real life. A noble lord is forced
-through some miraculous circumstances which would rival the adventures
-narrated in the _Arabian Nights_, to associate with poachers, who are
-well known to the police; and after some time has elapsed, he at length
-regains the property, which has wrongfully been kept from him by his
-uncle; and to celebrate this happy event, he gives what is styled in
-the novel a ‘levée,’ and invites thereto the whole country-side,
-_including the poachers_, and also the police of the town. Our critic
-could not quite appreciate the novelty of this situation, and therefore
-pencils in the margin: ‘Is it likely the poachers would have ventured
-there?’ After studying the facts of the case, and reducing the subject
-to practical life, which is evidently the meaning of our critic,
-and also bearing in mind that the police and poachers were in the
-same room, and that several of the latter were ‘wanted’ for various
-offences, we may take that bit of criticism as sound.
-
-If our voluntary critics will read novels, they must expect novel
-things; but as far as our observation goes, this is the very thing
-they criticise most. They will not allow a young and delicate lady to
-elope with a handsome Captain on a stormy night with nothing to protect
-her from the weather but a flimsy ball-dress, under any consideration
-whatever; but feelingly suggest in the margin that the gentleman should
-either offer her his ulster or procure an umbrella; a piece of advice
-for which I am sure the young lady’s parents would devoutly thank them,
-if they only had the pleasure of their acquaintance.
-
-We might easily add to these examples; but the above is sufficient to
-show that the novelist who sits down to write a work of fiction merely
-for the sake of airing an opinion, or to please a certain person,
-neither caring in what language he expresses himself nor how absurd the
-book may be, may be sure of a warm reception when his work falls into
-the hands of the circulating-library critics.
-
-
-
-
-BY MEAD AND STREAM.
-
-
-CHAPTER IX.—SLANDER’S SHAFT.
-
-They were still at breakfast when the postman arrived, and Madge was
-surprised to find amongst the letters two from the Manor. Both were
-addressed in Miss Hadleigh’s large angular writing: one was for her
-uncle, the other for herself.
-
-As Madge had long conducted her uncle’s correspondence, she attended
-to his letters first; but remembering that still unexplained quarrel,
-misunderstanding, or whatever it was, between him and Mr Hadleigh, she
-discreetly kept the letter from Ringsford back till she had disposed
-of the others. These were all on business, and of a most satisfactory
-nature: good prices for grain, good prices for sheep and cattle, and
-reports of a deficient harvest in America, whilst that of Willowmere
-was excellent. Uncle Dick was in capital humour, and disposed to be on
-good terms with everybody. It is wonderful how prosperous all the world
-looks when our own affairs are thriving; and how merciful we can be in
-our judgment as to the cause of our neighbour’s failure.
-
-Then Madge—sly Madge—opened the Ringsford letter, and read a formal
-invitation to dinner at the Manor a fortnight hence, on the eve of Mr
-Philip Hadleigh’s departure.
-
-‘You will go, of course, uncle?’ said Madge, looking up with a coaxing
-smile.—‘And you will break through your rule of not going to parties
-for once, aunt? You know we may not see Philip for a long, long time.’
-
-Aunt Hessy smiled, and looked inquiringly at her husband. Dick Crawshay
-was not a man to bear malice; but it was evident that he did not relish
-this invitation. He was not frowning, but his face was not quite so
-cheerful as it had been a moment before.
-
-‘I don’t know,’ he said, rising. ‘I hate these sort of things at
-Ringsford. They’ve always a lot of people that don’t know anything’
-(about farming and cattle, he meant); ‘and when I’m there, I always
-feel as uncomfortable as a bull in a china-shop that didn’t want to
-break the crockery. Certain, I have spoken to some young fools that
-knew all about betting lists, but not one that knew the points of a
-horse—except Wrentham. They only want me there because they want you,
-Madge; and if it wasn’t for you, I’d say no straight off.’
-
-‘But you mustn’t do that, uncle; at least wait till we see what is in
-my letter.’
-
-‘You can tell me about it when I come in. That new reaping-machine
-ain’t doing what I expected of it, and I want to give it a fair trial
-under my own eyes.’
-
-With that he went out, preceded by the dogs; for they had made for the
-door the moment their master rose to his feet, and as it opened, almost
-tumbled over each other in their haste to be first afield.
-
-‘I hope he will go,’ said Madge thoughtfully; adding, after a pause:
-‘We must try to persuade him, aunt.’
-
-‘Why are you so anxious about this, child? I never knew you to be very
-eager to go to Ringsford yourself.’
-
-‘Because I am about to disappoint Mr Hadleigh in a matter which he
-considers of great importance.’
-
-Then she read the strange letter she had received from him, and
-Dame Crawshay was surprised almost as much as Madge herself by the
-earnestness of the appeal it contained. She was silent for several
-minutes, evidently occupied by some serious reflections. At length:
-
-‘Thou knowest how I love the lad; but that does not blind me to his
-faults—nay, it need not startle thee to hear me say he has faults: we
-all have our share of them. Perhaps it is lucky for thee that what
-seems to me Philip’s worst fault is that he has the impulsive way his
-father speaks about.’
-
-‘But all his impulses are good-natured ones.’
-
-‘I do not doubt it; but that makes it the more needful he should have
-some experience of the world’s ways before tying himself and you down
-to a hard-and-fast line. Nothing but experience will ever teach us that
-the hard-and-fast line of life is the easiest in the end. There’s a
-heap of truth in what Mr Hadleigh says about Philip, though he doesn’t
-seem to me to have found the surest way of keeping him right.’
-
-‘What would you advise, then?’ was the eager question.
-
-‘Thou must settle this matter for thyself, Madge; but I will tell thee
-that there is one thing Mr Hadleigh is quite wrong about.’
-
-‘What is that?’
-
-‘In saying that Mr Shield would try to keep Philip from _you_.’
-
-The emphasis on the last word and the curious, half-sad, half-pleased
-smile which accompanied it, caused Madge to ask wonderingly:
-
-‘Did you know Mr Shield?’
-
-‘Ay, long ago, before he went abroad.’
-
-‘Have you never seen him since?’
-
-‘Once—only once, and that was a sad time, although we were not five
-minutes together. He heard only a bit of the truth: he would not stay
-to hear it all, and I daresay he has had many a sorry hour for it
-since.’
-
-She ceased, and leaning back on her chair, lapsed into a dream of
-sorrowful memories. Madge did not like to disturb her, for she was
-suddenly amazed by the suspicion that once upon a time Austin Shield
-had been Aunt Hessy’s lover.
-
-But the active dame was not given to wool-gathering, and looking up
-quickly, she caught the expression of her niece, and guessed its
-meaning.
-
-‘Nay, thou art mistaken,’ she said, shaking her head, and that curious
-smile again appeared on her face; ‘there has only been one man that
-was ever more than another to me, and that’s thy uncle.... But I’ll
-tell thee a secret, child; it can do no harm. Hast forgotten what I was
-telling thee and Philip in the garden yesterday?’
-
-‘About the two lovers? O no.’
-
-‘Well, the man was Mr Austin Shield, and the girl was thy mother.’
-
-‘My mother!’ was the ejaculation of the astounded Madge.
-
-‘Yes. It was a silly business on her part, poor soul; but she was
-cruelly deceived. She had been told lies about him; and there were so
-many things which made them look like truth, that she believed them.’
-
-‘What could she have been told that could make her forget him?’
-
-‘She never did forget him—she never could forget him; and she told the
-man she married so. What she was told was, that Austin had forgotten
-her, and taken somebody else to wife. At the same time no letters came
-from him. She waited for months, watching every post; but there was
-never a sign from him. She fretted and fretted; and father fretted to
-see her getting so bad on account of a man who was not worth thinking
-about. He had broken his word, and that was enough to make father turn
-his back on him for ever.’
-
-‘But how did my mother come to—to marry so soon?’
-
-‘She was kind of persuaded into it by father, and by her wish to
-please him. He was a kind good man; but he was strict in his notions
-of things. He considered that it was sinful of her to be thinking of a
-man who had done her such wrong. Then Mr Heathcote was a great friend
-of father’s—he was a deacon in our chapel—and he asked sister to be his
-wife. He was quiet and well-to-do then; and father was on his side,
-though he was twenty years older than your mother. Father thought that
-his age would make him the better guide for one who was so weak as to
-keep on mourning for a base man. He was never done speaking about the
-happy home that was offered her, and in every prayer asked the Lord to
-turn her heart into the right path. At last she consented: but she
-told Mr Heathcote everything; and he said he was content, and that
-he would try his best to make her content too, by-and-by. Father was
-glad—and that did cheer poor sister a bit, for she was fond of father.
-So she married.’
-
-‘And then?’
-
-Only the subdued voice, the wide, startled eyes, indicated the
-agitation of the daughter, who was listening to this piteous story of a
-mother’s suffering.
-
-‘And then there came a letter from Austin Shield, and he came himself
-almost as soon as the letter. He had been “up country,” as he called
-it, for more than a year, and he had been lucky beyond all his
-expectations. But there were no posts in the wild places he had been
-staying at. He had written to warn us not to expect to hear of him
-for many months; but the vessel that was carrying that message home
-to us—eh, deary, what sorrow it would have saved us—was wrecked in a
-fog on some big rock near the Scilly Isles; and although a-many of the
-mail-bags were fished up out of the sea, the one with sister’s letter
-in it was never found.’
-
-‘What did my poor mother do?’
-
-‘She sat and shivered and moaned; but she could not speak. I saw him
-when he came, and told him that he must not see her any more, for she
-was married. I wasn’t able to tell him how it happened, for the sight
-of his face feared me so. It was like white stone, and his eyes were
-black. Before I could get my tongue again, he gave me a look that I can
-never forget, and walked away.... I found out where he was, some time
-afterwards, and wrote telling him all about it. He answered me, saying:
-“Thank you. I understand. God bless you all.” We never had another word
-direct from him; but we often heard about him; and some time after your
-mother went to rest, we learned that he had really got married; and the
-news pleased me vastly, for it helped me to think that maybe he was
-comfortable and resigned at last. I hope he is; but he has no family,
-and his sending for Philip looks as if he wants somebody to console
-him.’
-
-‘But who was it spread the lies about him at the first?’
-
-‘Ah, that we never knew. It was cleverly done; the story was in
-everybody’s mouth; but nobody could tell where it had come from.’
-
-The feelings of Madge as she listened to her aunt were of a complicated
-nature: there was the painful sympathy evoked by the knowledge that it
-was her own mother who had been so wickedly deceived; then it seemed as
-if the events related had happened to some one else; and again there
-was a mysterious sense of awe as she recognised how closely the past
-and the present were linked together. Philip was the near relation of
-the man her mother had loved, and was to be parted from her on his
-account for an indefinite period.
-
-Who could tell what Fate might lie in this coincidence?
-
-She pitied the lovers; and her indignation rose to passion at thought
-of the slanderers who had caused them so much misery. Then came
-confused thoughts about her father: he, too, must have loved as well
-as Mr Shield; and he had been generous.
-
-Gentle hands were laid upon her bowed head, and looking up, she met the
-tender eyes of Aunt Hessy.
-
-‘I have troubled you, child; but I have told you this so that you may
-understand why I cannot counsel you to bid Philip stay or go.’
-
-A soft light beamed on Madge’s face; a sweet thought filled her heart.
-She would bid Philip go to help and comfort the man her mother had
-loved.
-
-
-CHAPTER X.—LIGHT AND SHADOW.
-
-As soon as she found that Madge was calm and ready to proceed with the
-duties of the day, Aunt Hessy bustled out to look after the maidens in
-the dairy and the kitchen. The other affairs of the house were attended
-to by Madge assisted by Jenny Wodrow, an active girl, who had wisely
-given up straw-plaiting at Luton for domestic service at Willowmere.
-
-When clearing the breakfast-table, Madge found Miss Hadleigh’s letter,
-which she had forgotten in the new interests and speculations excited
-by her aunt’s communication.
-
-Miss Hadleigh was one of those young ladies who fancy that in personal
-intercourse with others dignity is best represented by the assumption
-of a languid air of indifference to everything, whilst they compensate
-themselves for this effort by ‘gushing’ over pages of note-paper. Of
-course she began with ‘My dearest Madge:’ everybody was her ‘dearest;’
-and how she found a superlative sufficient to mark the degree of her
-regard for her betrothed is a problem in the gymnastics of language.
-
-‘You know all about dearest Phil going to leave us in about a fortnight
-or three weeks, and goodness only knows when he may come home again.
-Well, we are going to have a _little_ dinner-party all to his honour
-and glory, as you would see by the card I have addressed to your uncle.
-Mind, it is a _little_ and very select party. There will be nobody
-present except the most intimate and most esteemed friends of the
-Family.’ (Family written with a very large capital F.)
-
-‘Now the party cannot be _complete_ without you and your dear uncle
-and aunt; and I write this _special_ supplement to the card to implore
-you to keep yourselves free for Tuesday the 28th, and to tell you that
-we will take _no_ excuse from any of you. Carrie and Bertha want to
-have some friends in after dinner, so that they might get up a dance.
-Of course, in my position I do not care for these things now; but to
-please the girls, it might be arranged. Would _you_ like it?—because,
-if you did, that would settle the matter at once. We have not told
-Phil yet, because he always makes fun of _everything_ we do to try
-and amuse him. Papa has been consulted, and as usual leaves it _all_
-to us.—Please do write soon, darling, and believe me ever yours most
-affectionately,
-
- BEATRICE HADLEIGH.’
-
-‘_P.S._—If you don’t mind, dear, I wish you _would_ tell me what colour
-you are to wear, so that I might have something to harmonise with it.
-We might have a symphony all to ourselves, as the æsthetes call it.’
-
-From this it appeared that Philip’s sisters were not aware of their
-father’s desire to keep him at home. There would be no difficulty in
-replying to Miss Hadleigh—even to the extent of revealing the colour of
-her dress—when Uncle Dick had consented to go.
-
-When the immediate household cares were despatched, Madge sat down at
-her desk to write to Mr Hadleigh. She was quite clear about what she
-had to say; but she paused, seeking the gentlest way of saying it.
-
-‘DEAR MR HADLEIGH,’ she began at last, ‘Your letter puts a great
-temptation in my way; and I should be glad to avoid doing anything to
-displease you. But your son has given me a reason for his going, which
-leaves him no alternative but to go, and me no alternative but to pray
-that he may return safely and well.’
-
-When she had signed and sealed up this brief epistle, a mountain seemed
-to roll off her shoulders; her head became clear again: she _knew_ that
-what Philip and her mother would have wished had been done. A special
-messenger was sent off with it to Ringsford; for although the distance
-between the two places was only about three miles, the letter would not
-have been delivered until next day, had it gone by the ordinary post.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Mr Hadleigh read these few lines without any sign of disappointment.
-He read them more than once, and found in them something so quietly
-decisive, that he would have considered it an easier task to conquer
-Philip in his most obstinate mood, than to move this girl one
-hair’s-breadth from her resolve.
-
-He refolded the paper carefully and placed it in his pocket. Then he
-rang the bell.
-
-‘Bid Toomey be ready to drive me over to catch the ten o’clock train,’
-he said quietly to the servant who answered his summons.
-
-‘A pity, a pity,’ he repeated to himself. ‘Fools both—they will not
-accept happiness when it is offered them. A pity, a pity.... They will
-have their way.’
-
-The carriage conveyed him to Dunthorpe Station in good time for the
-train; and the train being a ‘fast,’ landed him at Liverpool Street
-Station before eleven o’clock.
-
-He walked slowly along Broad Street, a singular contrast to the hurry
-and bustle of the other passengers. He was not going in the direction
-of his own offices; and he did not look as if he were going on any
-particular business anywhere. He had the air of a man who was taking an
-enforced constitutional, and who by mistake had wandered into the city
-instead of into the park.
-
-He turned into Cornhill, and then into Golden Alley, which must have
-obtained its name when gold was only known in quartz; for it was a
-dull, gloomy-looking place, with dust-stained windows and metal plates
-up the sides of the doorways, so begrimed that it required an effort of
-the sight to decipher the names on them. But it was quiet and eminently
-respectable. Standing in Golden Alley, one had the sense of being in
-the midst of steady-going, long-established firms, who had no need of
-outward show to attract customers.
-
-Mr Hadleigh halted for a moment at one of the doors, and looked at
-a leaden-like plate, bearing the simple inscription, GRIBBLE & CO.
-He ascended one flight of stairs, and entered an office in which two
-clerks were busy at their desks, whilst a youth at another desk near
-the door was addressing envelopes with the eager rapidity of one who is
-paid so much per thousand.
-
-No one paid any attention to the opening of the door.
-
-‘Is Mr Wrentham in?’ inquired Mr Hadleigh.
-
-At the sound of his voice, one of the clerks advanced obsequiously.
-
-‘Yes, sir. He is engaged at present; but I will send in your name.’
-
-He knew who the visitor was; and after rapidly writing the name on a
-slip of paper, took it into an inner room. Mr Hadleigh glanced over
-some bills which were lying on the counter announcing the dates of
-sailing of a number of A1 clippers and first-class screw-steamers to
-all parts of the world.
-
-The clerk reappeared, and with a polite, ‘Will you walk in, sir?’ held
-the door of the inner room open till Mr Hadleigh passed in, and then
-closed it.
-
-Mr Wrentham rose from his table, holding out his hand. ‘Glad to see you
-here, Mr Hadleigh—very glad. I hope it is business that brings you?’
-
-‘Yes—important business,’ was the answer.
-
-
-
-
-CURIOUS ANTIPATHIES IN ANIMALS.
-
-
-I. HORSES.
-
-My late father-in-law, a physician in extensive practice, once
-possessed a horse named Jack, which was celebrated for his many
-peculiarities and his great sagacity. One of his antipathies was a
-decided hatred to one particular melody, the well-known Irish air,
-_Drops of Brandy_. If any one began to whistle or hum this air, Jack
-would instantly show fight by laying his ears back, grinding his teeth,
-biting and kicking, but always recovering his good temper when the
-music ceased. No other melody or music of any kind ever affected him;
-you might whistle or sing as long as you liked, provided you did not
-attempt the objectionable Irish air. One of the doctor’s nephews and
-Jack were great friends. The lad could do almost anything with him; but
-if he presumed to whistle the objectionable melody of Erin, Jack would
-show his displeasure by instantly pulling off the lad’s cap and biting
-it savagely, but never attempting the smallest personal injury to the
-boy himself, and always exhibiting his love when the sounds ceased;
-thus saying, as plainly as a horse could say: ‘We are great friends,
-and I love you very much; but pray, don’t make that odious noise, to
-which I entertain a very strong objection.’
-
-Jack had another and very peculiar antipathy—he never would permit
-anything bulky to be carried by his rider. This came out for the first
-time one day when the doctor was going on a visit, and having to sleep
-at his friend’s, intended to take a small handbag with him. On the
-groom handing this up to the doctor, after he was mounted, Jack—who had
-been an attentive observer of the whole proceeding by craning his head
-round—at once exhibited his strong displeasure by rearing, kicking,
-buck-jumping, and jibing—so utterly unlike his usual steady-going ways,
-that the doctor at once divined the cause, and threw the bag down,
-when Jack became perfectly quiet and docile; but instantly, however,
-re-enacting the same scene, when the groom once more offered the bag
-to the doctor. The experiment was repeated several times, and always
-with the same singular result; and at length the attempt was given
-up, when Jack trotted off on his journey, showing the best of tempers
-throughout. Why he should have exhibited this extraordinary dislike to
-carrying a small handbag, which was neither large in size nor heavy in
-weight, it is impossible even to guess.
-
-On another occasion the groom, wishing to bring home with him a small
-sack containing some household requisite, thought to lay it across the
-front of his saddle; but Jack was too quick and too sharp for him.
-Instantly rearing, and then kicking violently, he threw the groom off
-on one side and the objectionable burden on the other. After this, no
-further attempts were made to ruffle the customary serenity of Jack’s
-rather peculiar temper.
-
-The same gentleman also possessed a beautiful bay mare called Jenny,
-remarkable for her sweet temper and pretty loving ways. She was a
-great favourite with the doctor’s daughters, and would ‘shake hands’
-when asked, and kiss them in the most engaging manner, with a sort
-of nibbling motion of her black lips up and down the face. She would
-follow any one she liked about the fields, answer to her name like a
-dog, and would always salute any of her favourites on seeing them with
-that pretty low ‘hummering’ sound so common with pet horses, but never
-heard from those subject to ill-treatment. But, with all these graces,
-the pretty and interesting Jenny had several peculiar antipathies, in
-one of which she too somewhat resembled a dog Wag (to be noticed in a
-future article), and that was a marked dislike to the singing voice of
-one particular person, a lady, a relative of the doctor’s. This lady
-often went to the stable to feed Jenny with lettuces or apples, and
-they were always the best of friends; but so sure as she began to sing
-anything, Jenny instantly forgot her good manners, lost all propriety,
-and exhibited the usual signs of strong equine displeasure, although
-she never took the smallest notice of the singing or whistling of any
-other person, treating it apparently with indifference. One day, as the
-doctor was driving this lady out, he suggested, by way of experiment,
-that she should begin to sing. In a moment, Jenny’s ears were down
-flat, and a great kick was delivered with hearty goodwill on to the
-front of the carriage; and more would doubtless have followed, had not
-the lady prudently stopped short in her vocal efforts; when Jenny was
-herself again, and resumed her usual good behaviour.
-
-Another and very remarkable peculiarity of Jenny’s was her
-unaccountable antipathy to the doctor’s wife. If that lady approached
-her, she would grind her teeth savagely, and try to bite her in the
-most spiteful manner. What is perhaps even more singular, she would
-never, if possible, let the lady get into the carriage, if she knew
-it. Jenny would turn her head, and keep a lookout behind her, in the
-drollest manner possible; and the moment she caught sight of the lady
-approaching the carriage for the purpose of getting in, Jenny would
-immediately commence her troublesome tantrums of biting and kicking. So
-strongly did she object to drawing her mistress, that more than once
-she damaged the carriage with her powerful heels, so that the doctor
-was obliged to request his wife to approach the carriage from behind,
-whilst a groom held Jenny’s head, to prevent her looking round. Even
-this was not always sufficient; for if the lady talked or laughed,
-Jenny would actually recognise her voice, and the usual ‘scene’ would
-be forthwith enacted. Now, the most singular part of this story is,
-that this lady was, like all her family, a genuine lover of all
-animals, especially horses. She was very fond of Jenny, and had tried
-in every way to make friends with her, and therefore her dislike to
-her mistress was all the more unaccountable, as there was not a shadow
-of cause for it. We can all understand dislike on the part of any
-animal where there has been any sort of ill-usage; but it is wholly
-inexplicable when nothing but love and kindness has been invariably
-practised towards that animal.
-
-Jenny I am afraid was a great pet, and like all pets, was full of
-fads and fancies. One of these was certainly peculiar. Not far from
-the doctor’s residence there was a particular gate opening into a
-field. As soon as Jenny came near this gate, she would commence
-her tantrums, rearing, kicking, plunging, jibing, and altogether
-declining to pass it; and it was not until after the exercise of a
-great amount of patience and perseverance, by repeatedly leading
-her—after much opposition—up to the gate and making her see it and
-smell it—thereby proving to her that it would do her no harm—that at
-length she was brought to pass it quietly and without notice. What
-could have occasioned this strange antipathy to one particular gate,
-it is impossible to guess, for, until she came into the doctor’s
-possession, she had never been in that part of the county, and
-therefore could have had no unpleasant recollections of this gate in
-any way. It is, however, possible that the gate in question might
-have strongly resembled some other gate elsewhere with which were
-associated disagreeable memories; for I well remember that, some years
-ago, I often rode a fine young mare which had only recently come from
-Newmarket, where she had been trained. At first, she could never be
-induced to go down Rotten Row without a great deal of shying, jibing,
-and rearing, and other signs of resistance and displeasure. And this
-was subsequently explained by the fact, that the place where she was
-trained and exercised at Newmarket was a long road with a range of
-posts and rails, closely resembling Rotten Row; and doubtless the mare
-was under the impression that this was either the same place, or that
-she was about to be subjected to the same severe training which she had
-undergone at Newmarket; hence her determined opposition.
-
-One more trait of Jenny’s odd antipathies must be mentioned before
-I conclude, and that was her fixed aversion to men of the working
-peasant class. She would never let such a man hold her by the bridle,
-or even approach her, without trying to bite him, and jerking her head
-away with every sign of anger and aversion whilst he stood near. But
-she never exhibited any feelings of dislike to well-dressed, clean,
-comfortable-looking persons, who might have done almost anything with
-her, and with whom she would ‘shake hands,’ or kiss in the gentlest
-possible manner. Of a truth, Jenny was certainly unique in her odd
-fancies and peculiar behaviour in every way; a singular mixture of good
-and evil—a spiteful, vindictive temper on the one hand, combined with
-the utmost affection and docility on the other.
-
-
-
-
-TWO DAYS IN A LIFETIME.
-
-A STORY IN EIGHT CHAPTERS.
-
-
-CHAPTER VI.
-
-Five minutes later, Miss Brandon burst into the room in her usual
-impulsive fashion. Lady Dimsdale was standing at one of the windows. It
-was quite enough for Elsie to find there was some one to talk to—more
-especially when that some one was Lady Dimsdale, whom she looked upon
-as the most charming woman in the world. At once she began to rattle on
-after her usual fashion. ‘Thank goodness, those hateful exercises are
-over for to-day. Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori. Arma virumque
-cano. How I do detest Latin! My grandmother didn’t know a word of it,
-and she was the most delightful old lady I ever knew. Besides, where’s
-the use of it? When Charley and I are married, I can’t talk to him in
-Latin—nor even to the butcher’s boy, nor the fishmonger. Perhaps, if I
-were to speak to my poodle in dog-Latin, he might understand me.’ Then,
-with a sudden change of manner, she said: ‘Dear Lady Dimsdale, what is
-the matter?’ for Laura had turned, and the traces of tears were still
-visible around her eyes. ‘Why, I do believe you have been’——
-
-‘Yes, crying—that’s the only word for it,’ answered Laura with a smile.
-
-‘Do tell me what it is. Nothing serious?’
-
-‘Nothing more serious than the last chapter of a foolish love-story.’
-She had taken up a book instinctively.
-
-‘I’m awfully glad it’s nothing worse. Love-stories that make one cry
-are delicious. I always feel better after a good cry.’ Her sharp eyes
-were glancing over the title of the book in Lady Dimsdale’s hand.
-‘“Buchan’s _Domestic Medicine_,”’ she read out aloud. ‘Dear Lady
-Dimsdale, surely this is not the book that’—— She was suddenly silent.
-The room had a bow-window, the casement of which stood wide open this
-sunny morning. Elsie had heard voices on the terrace outside. ‘That’s
-dear old nunky’s voice,’ she said. ‘And—yes—no—I do believe it is
-though!’ She crossed to the window and peeped out from behind the
-curtains.
-
-Stumping slowly along the terrace, assisted by his thick Malacca, came
-Captain Bowood. By his side marched a dark-bearded military-looking
-inspector of police, dressed in the regulation blue braided frock-coat
-and peaked cap. They were engaged in earnest conversation.
-
-‘An inspector of police! What can be the matter? I do believe they are
-coming here.’ So spoke Elsie; but when she looked round, expecting a
-response, she found herself alone. Lady Dimsdale had slipped out of the
-room.
-
-The voices came nearer. Elsie seated herself at the table, opened a
-book, ruffled her hair, and pretended to be poring over her lessons.
-
-The door opened, and Captain Bowood, followed by the inspector, entered
-the room. ‘Pheugh! Enough to frizzle a nigger,’ ejaculated the former,
-as he mopped his forehead with his yellow bandana handkerchief. Then
-perceiving Elsie, he said, as he pinched one of her ears, ‘Ha, Poppet,
-you here?’
-
-‘Yes, nunky; and dreadfully puzzled I am. I want to find out in what
-year the Great Pyramid was built. Do, please, tell me.’
-
-‘Ha, ha!—Listen to that, Mr Inspector.—If you had asked me the distance
-from here to New York, now. Great Pyramid, eh?’
-
-The inspector, pencil and notebook in hand, was examining the
-fastenings of the window. ‘Very insecure, Captain Bowood,’ he said;
-‘very insecure indeed. A burglar would make short work of them.’
-
-Miss Brandon was eying him furtively. There was a puzzled look on her
-face. ‘I could almost swear it was Charley’s voice; and yet’——
-
-‘Come, come; you’ll frighten us out of our wits, if you talk like
-that,’ answered the Captain.
-
-‘Many burglaries in this neighbourhood of late,’ remarked the inspector
-sententiously.
-
-‘Just so, just so.’ This was said a little uneasily.
-
-‘Best to warn you in time, sir.’
-
-‘O Charley, you naughty, naughty boy!’ remarked Miss Brandon under her
-breath. ‘Even I did not know him at first.’
-
-‘But if Mr Burglar chooses to pay us a visit, who’s to hinder him?’
-asked the Captain.
-
-The inspector shrugged his shoulders and smiled an inscrutable smile.
-
-‘You don’t mean to say that they intend to pay us a visit to-night?
-Come now.’
-
-‘Every reason to believe so, Captain.’
-
-‘But, confound it! how do you know all this?’
-
-‘Secret information. Know many things. Mrs Bowood keeps her jewel-case
-in top left-hand drawer in her dressing-room. Know that.’
-
-‘Bless my heart! How did you find that out?’
-
-‘Secret information. Gold chronometer with inscription on it hidden
-away at the bottom of your writing-desk. Know that.’
-
-‘How the’——
-
-‘Secret information.’
-
-‘O Charley, Charley, you artful darling!’—this _sotto voce_ from Miss
-Brandon.
-
-The Captain looked bewildered, as well he might. ‘This is really most
-wonderful,’ he said. ‘But about those rascals who, you say, are going
-to visit us to-night?’
-
-‘Give ’em a warm reception, Captain. Leave that to me.’
-
-‘Yes, yes. Warm reception. Good. Have some of your men in hiding, eh,
-Mr Inspector?’
-
-‘Half a dozen of ’em, Captain.’
-
-‘Just so, just so. And I’ll be in hiding too. I’ve a horse-pistol
-up-stairs nearly as long as my arm.’
-
-‘Shan’t need that, sir.’
-
-‘No good having a horse-pistol if one doesn’t make use of it now and
-then.’
-
-‘Half-a-dozen men—three inside the house, and three out,’ remarked the
-inspector as he wrote down the particulars in his book.
-
-‘And I’ll make the seventh—don’t forget that!’ cried the Captain,
-looking as fierce as some buccaneer of bygone days. ‘If there’s one
-among the burglars more savage than the rest, leave him for me to
-tackle.’
-
-‘My poor, dear nunky, if you only knew!’ murmured Elsie under her
-breath.
-
-‘Perhaps I had better lend you a pair of these, Captain; they might
-prove useful in a scuffle,’ remarked the inspector as he produced a
-pair of handcuffs from the tail-pocket of his coat. ‘The simplest
-bracelets in the world. The easiest to get on, and the most difficult
-to get off—till you know how. Allow me. This is how it’s done. What
-could be more simple?’
-
-Nothing apparently could be more simple, seeing that, before Captain
-Bowood knew what had happened, he found himself securely handcuffed.
-
-‘Ha, ha—just so. Queer sensation—very,’ he exclaimed, turning redder in
-the face than usual. ‘But I don’t care how soon you take them off, Mr
-Inspector.’
-
-‘No hurry, Captain, no hurry.’
-
-‘Confound you! what do you mean by no hurry? What’—— But here the
-Captain came to a sudden stop.
-
-The inspector’s black wig and whiskers had vanished, and the laughingly
-impudent features of his peccant nephew were revealed to his astonished
-gaze.
-
-‘Good-afternoon, my dear uncle. This is the second time to-day that I
-have had the pleasure of seeing you.’ Then he called: ‘Elsie, dear!’
-
-‘Here I am, Charley,’ came in immediate response.
-
-‘Come and kiss me.’
-
-‘Yes, Charley.’ And with that Miss Brandon rose from her chair, and
-with a slightly heightened colour and the demurest air possible, came
-down the room and allowed her lover to lightly touch her lips with his.
-It was a pretty picture.
-
-‘What—what! Why—why,’ spluttered the Captain. For a little while words
-seemed to desert him.
-
-‘My dear uncle, pray, _pray_, do not allow yourself to get quite so red
-in the face; at your time of life you really alarm me.’
-
-‘You—you vile young jackanapes! You—you cockatrice!—And you, miss, you
-shall smart for this. I’ll—I’ll—— Oh!’
-
-‘Patience, good uncle; prithee, patience.’
-
-‘Patience! O for a good horsewhip!’
-
-‘When I called upon you this morning, sir,’ resumed Charles the
-imperturbable, ‘I left unsaid the most important part of that which
-I had come to say; it therefore became needful that I should see you
-again.’
-
-‘O for a horsewhip! Are you going to take these things off me, or are
-you not?’
-
-‘The object of my second visit, sir, is to inform you that Miss Brandon
-and I are engaged to be married, and to beg of you to give us your
-consent and blessing, and make two simple young creatures happy.’
-
-‘Handcuffed like a common poacher on his way to jail! Oh, when once I
-get free!’
-
-‘We have made up our minds to get married; haven’t we, Elsie?’
-
-‘We have—or else to die together,’ replied Miss Brandon, as she struck
-a little tragic attitude.
-
-‘Think over what I have said, my dear uncle, and accord us your
-consent.’
-
-‘Or our deaths will lie at your door.’
-
-‘Every night as the clock struck twelve, you would see us by your side.’
-
-‘You would never more enjoy your rum-and-water and your pipe.’
-
-‘I should tickle your ear with a ghostly feather, and wake you in the
-middle of your first sleep.’
-
-‘I shall go crazy—crazy!’ spluttered the Captain. He would have stamped
-his foot, only he was afraid of the gout.
-
-‘Not quite, sir, I hope,’ replied young Summers, with a sudden change
-of manner; and next moment, and without any action of his own in the
-matter, the Captain found himself a free man. The first thing he did
-was to make a sudden grasp at his cane; but Elsie was too quick for
-him, or it might have fared ill with her sweetheart.
-
-Master Charley laughed. ‘I am sorry, my dear uncle, to have to leave
-you now; but time is pressing. You will not forget what I have said, I
-feel sure. I shall look for your answer to my request in the course of
-three or four days; or would you prefer, sir, that I should wait upon
-you for it in person?’
-
-‘If you ever dare to set foot inside my door again, I’ll—I’ll
-spiflicate you—yes, sir, spiflicate you!’
-
-‘To what a terrible fate you doom me, good my lord!—Come, Elsie, you
-may as well walk with me through the shrubbery.’
-
-Miss Brandon going up suddenly to Captain Bowood, flung her arms round
-his neck and kissed him impulsively. ‘You dear, crusty, cantankerous,
-kind-hearted old thing, I can’t help loving you!’ she cried.
-
-‘Go along, you baggage. As bad as he is—every bit. Go along.’
-
-‘_Au revoir_, uncle,’ said Mr Summers with his most courtly stage bow.
-‘We shall meet again—at Philippi.’
-
-A moment later, Captain Bowood found himself alone. ‘There’s
-impudence!’ he exclaimed. ‘It’s worse than that; it’s cheek—downright
-cheek. Never bamboozled like it before. Handcuffed! What an old
-nincompoop I must have looked! Good thing Sir Frederick or any of
-the others didn’t see me. I should never have heard the last of it.’
-With that, the last trace of ill-humour vanished, and he burst into
-a hearty, sailor-like guffaw. ‘Just the sort of trick I should have
-gloried in when I was a young spark!’ He rose from his chair, took
-his cane in his hand, and limped as far as the window, his gout being
-rather troublesome this afternoon. ‘So, so. There they go, arm in
-arm. Who would have thought of Don Carlos falling in love with Miss
-Saucebox? But I don’t know that he could do better. She’s a good
-girl—a little flighty just now; but that will cure itself by-and-by—and
-she will have a nice little property when she comes of age. Must
-pretend to set my face against it, though, and that will be sure to
-make them fonder of one another. Ha, ha! we old sea-dogs know a thing
-or two.’ And with that the Captain winked confidentially to himself two
-or three times and went about his business.
-
- * * * * *
-
-When Sir Frederick Pinkerton followed Mrs Bowood and Mrs Boyd out of
-the room where the interview had taken place, and left Lady Dimsdale
-sitting there alone, he quitted the house at once, and sauntered in his
-usual gingerly fashion through the flower-garden to an unfrequented
-part of the grounds known as the Holly Walk, where there was not much
-likelihood of his being interrupted. Like Lady Dimsdale, he wanted to
-be alone. Just then, he had much to occupy his thoughts. To and fro he
-paced the walk slowly and musingly, his hands behind his back, his eyes
-bent on the ground.
-
-‘What tempts me to do this thing?’ he asked himself, not once, but
-several times. ‘That I dislike the man is quite certain; why, then,
-take upon myself to interfere between this woman and him? Certainly I
-have nothing to thank Oscar Boyd for; why, then, mix myself up in a
-matter that concerns me no more than it concerns the man in the moon?
-If he had not appeared on the scene just when he did, I might perhaps
-have won Lady Dimsdale for my wife. But now? Too late—too late! Even
-when he and this woman shall have gone their way, he will live in
-my lady’s memory, never probably to be forgotten. He is her hero of
-romance. That he made love to her in years gone by, when they were
-young together, there is little doubt; that he made love to her again
-this morning, and met with no such rebuff as I did, seems equally
-clear; and though she knows now that he can never become her husband,
-yet she on her side will never forget him. In what way, then, am I
-called upon to interfere in his affairs? Should I not be a fool for
-my pains? And yet to let that woman claim him as her own, when a word
-from me would—— No! _Noblesse oblige._ What should I think of myself
-in years to come, if I were to permit this man’s life to be blasted
-by so cruel a fraud? The thought would hardly be a pleasant one on
-one’s deathbed.’ He shrugged his shoulders, and went on slowly pacing
-the Holly Walk. At length he raised his head and said half aloud: ‘I
-will do it, and at once; but it shall be on my own conditions, Lady
-Dimsdale—on my own conditions.’
-
-There was a gardener at work some distance away. He called the man to
-him, and sent him with a message to the house. Ten minutes later, Lady
-Dimsdale entered the Holly Walk.
-
-Sir Frederick approached her with one of his most elaborate bows.
-
-‘You wish to see me, Sir Frederick?’ she said inquiringly, but a little
-doubtfully. She hoped that he was not about to re-open the subject that
-had been discussed between them earlier in the day.
-
-‘I have taken the liberty of asking you to favour me with your company
-for a few minutes—here, where we shall be safe from interruption. The
-matter I am desirous of consulting you upon admits of no delay.’
-
-She bowed, but said nothing. His words reassured her on one point,
-while filling her with a vague uneasiness. The sunshade she held over
-her head was lined with pink; it served its purpose in preventing the
-Baronet from detecting how pale and wan was the face under it.
-
-They began to pace the walk slowly side by side.
-
-‘Equally with others, Lady Dimsdale, you are aware that, by a strange
-turn of fortune, Mr Boyd’s wife, whom he believed to have been dead for
-several years, has this morning reappeared?’
-
-‘You were in the parlour, Sir Frederick, when I was introduced to Mrs
-Boyd only half an hour ago.’ She answered him coldly and composedly
-enough; but he could not tell how her heart was beating.
-
-‘Strangely enough, I happened to be in New Orleans about the time of Mr
-Boyd’s marriage, and I know more about the facts of that unhappy affair
-than he has probably told to any one in England. It is enough to say
-that the reappearance of this woman is the greatest misfortune that
-could have happened to him. Oscar Boyd was a miserable man before he
-parted from her—he will be ten times more miserable in years to come.’
-
-‘You have not asked me to meet you here, Sir Frederick, in order to
-tell me this?’
-
-‘This, and something more, Lady Dimsdale. Listen!’ He laid one finger
-lightly on the sleeve of his companion’s dress, as if to emphasise her
-attention. ‘I happen to be acquainted with a certain secret—it matters
-not how it came into my possession—the telling of which—and it could
-be told in half-a-dozen words—would relieve Mr Boyd of this woman at
-once and for ever, would make a free man of him, as free to marry as in
-those old days when he used to haunt that vicarage garden which I too
-remember so well!’
-
-Lady Dimsdale stopped in her walk and stared at him with wide-open
-eyes. ‘You—possess—a secret that could do all this!’
-
-‘I have stated no more than the simple truth.’
-
-‘Then Mr Boyd is not this woman’s husband?’ The question burst from her
-lips swiftly, impetuously. Next moment her eyes fell and a tell-tale
-blush suffused her cheeks. But here again the pink-lined sunshade came
-to her rescue.
-
-‘Mr Boyd is the husband of no other woman,’ answered the Baronet drily.
-
-‘With what object have you made _me_ the recipient of this confidence,
-Sir Frederick?’
-
-‘That I will presently explain. You are probably aware that Mr Boyd
-leaves for London by the next train?’
-
-Lady Dimsdale bowed.
-
-‘So that if my information is to be made available at all, no time must
-be lost.’
-
-‘I still fail to see why—— But that does not matter. As you say, there
-is no time to lose. You will send for Mr Boyd at once, Sir Frederick.
-You are a generous-minded man, and you will not fail to reveal to him a
-secret which so nearly affects the happiness of his life.’ She spoke to
-him appealingly, almost imploringly.
-
-He smiled a coldly disagreeable smile. ‘Pardon me, Lady Dimsdale, but
-generosity is one of those virtues which I have never greatly cared
-to cultivate. Had I endeavoured to do so, the soil would probably have
-proved barren, and the results not worth the trouble. In any case, I
-have never tried. I am a man of the world, that, and nothing more.’
-
-‘But this secret, Sir Frederick—as between man and man, as between one
-gentleman and another—you will not keep it to yourself? You will not.
-No! I cannot believe that of you.’
-
-He lifted his hat for a moment. ‘Lady Dimsdale flatters me.’ Then he
-glanced at his watch. ‘Later even than I thought. This question must be
-decided at once, or not at all. Lady Dimsdale, I am willing to reveal
-my secret to Mr Boyd on one condition—and on one only.’
-
-For a moment she hesitated, being still utterly at a loss to imagine
-why the Baronet had taken her so strangely into his confidence. Then
-she said: ‘May I ask what the condition in question is, Sir Frederick?’
-
-‘It was to tell it to you that I asked you to favour me with your
-presence here. Lady Dimsdale, my one condition is this: That when this
-man—this Mr Oscar Boyd—shall be free to marry again, as he certainly
-will be when my secret becomes known to him—you shall never consent to
-become his wife, and that you shall never reveal to him the reason why
-you decline to do so.’
-
-‘Oh! This to me! Sir Frederick Pinkerton, you have no right to assume——
-Nothing, nothing can justify this language!’
-
-He thought he had never seen her look so beautiful as she looked at
-that moment, with flashing eyes, heaving bosom, and burning cheeks.
-
-He bowed and spread out his hands deprecatingly. ‘Pardon me, but I have
-assumed nothing—nothing whatever. I have specified a certain condition
-as the price of my secret. Call that condition a whim—the whim of an
-eccentric elderly gentleman, who, having no wife to keep him within the
-narrow grooves of common-sense, originates many strange ideas at times.
-Call it by what name you will, Lady Dimsdale, it still remains what
-it was. To apply a big word to a very small affair—you have heard my
-ultimatum.’ He glanced at his watch again. ‘I shall be in the library
-for the next quarter of an hour. One word from you—Yes or No—and I
-shall know how to act. On that one word hangs the future of your
-friend, Mr Oscar Boyd.’ He saluted her with one of his most ceremonious
-bows, and then turned and walked slowly away.
-
-There was a garden-seat close by, and to this Lady Dimsdale made her
-way. She was torn by conflicting emotions. Indignation, grief, wonder,
-curiosity, each and all held possession of her. ‘Was ever a woman
-forced into such a cruel position before?’ she asked herself. ‘What
-can this secret be? Is that woman not his wife? Yet Oscar recognised
-her as such the moment he set eyes on her. Can it be possible that she
-had a husband living when he married her, and that Sir Frederick is
-aware of the fact? It is all a mystery. Oh, how cruel, how cruel of Sir
-Frederick to force me into this position! What right has he to assume
-that even if Oscar were free to-morrow, he would—— And yet—— Oh, it
-is hard—hard! Why has this task been laid upon me? He will be free,
-and yet he must never know by what means. But whose happiness ought I
-to think of first—his or my own? His—a thousand times his! There is
-but one answer possible, and Sir Frederick knows it. He understands
-a woman’s heart. I must decide at once—now. There is not a moment to
-lose. But one answer.’ Her eyes were dry, although her heart was full
-of anguish. Tears would find their way later on.
-
-She quitted her seat, and near the end of the walk she found the same
-gardener that the Baronet had made use of. She beckoned the man to
-her, and as she slipped a coin into his hand, said to him: ‘Go to Sir
-Frederick Pinkerton, whom you will find in the library, and say to him
-that Lady Dimsdale’s answer is “Yes.”’
-
-The man scratched his head and stared at her open-mouthed; so, for
-safety’s sake, she gave him the message a second time. Then he seemed
-to comprehend, and touching his cap, set off at a rapid pace in the
-direction of the house.
-
-Lady Dimsdale took the same way slowly, immersed in bitter thoughts.
-‘Farewell, Oscar, farewell!’ her heart kept repeating to itself. ‘Not
-even when you are free, must you ever learn the truth.’
-
- * * * * *
-
-Meanwhile, Mrs Boyd, after lunching heartily with kind, chatty Mrs
-Bowood to keep her company, and after arranging her toilet, had gone
-back to the room in which her husband had left her, and from which he
-had forbidden her to stir till his return. She was somewhat surprised
-not to find him there, but quite content to wait till he should think
-it well to appear. There was a comfortable-looking couch in the room,
-and after a hearty luncheon on a warm day, forty winks seem to follow
-as a natural corollary; at least that was Estelle’s view of the present
-state of affairs. But before settling down among the soft cushions of
-the couch, she went up to the glass over the chimney-piece, and taking
-a tiny box from her pocket, opened it, and, with the swan’s-down puff
-which she found therein, just dashed her cheeks with the faintest
-possible _soupçon_ of Circassian Bloom, and then half rubbed it off
-with her handkerchief.
-
-‘A couple of glasses of champagne would have saved me the need of doing
-this; but your cold thin claret has neither soul nor fire in it,’ she
-remarked to herself. ‘How comfortable these English country-houses are.
-I should like to stay here for a month. Only the people are so very
-good and, oh! so very stupid, that I know I should tire of them in a
-day or two, and say or do something that would make them fling up their
-hands in horror.’ She yawned, gave a last glance at herself, and then
-went and sat down on the couch. As she was re-arranging the pillows,
-she found a handkerchief under one of them. She pounced on it in a
-moment. In one corner was a monogram. She read the letters, ‘L. D.,’
-aloud. ‘My Lady Dimsdale’s, without a doubt,’ she said. ‘Damp, too. She
-has been crying for the loss of her darling Oscar.’ She dropped the
-handkerchief with a sneer and set her foot on it. ‘How sweet it is to
-have one’s rival under one’s feet—sweeter still, when you know that she
-loves him and you don’t! Lady Dimsdale will hardly care to let Monsieur
-Oscar kiss her again. He is going away on a long journey with his
-wife—with his wife, ha, ha! Fools! If they only knew!’ The echo of her
-harsh, unwomanly laugh had scarcely died away, when the door opened,
-and the man of whom she had been speaking stood before her.
-
-After bidding farewell to Lady Dimsdale, Mr Boyd had plunged at once
-into a lonely part of the grounds, where he would be able to recover
-himself in some measure, unseen by any one. Of a truth, he was very
-wretched. It seemed almost impossible to believe that one short
-hour—nay, even far less than that—should have sufficed to plunge him
-from the heights of felicity into the lowest depths of misery. Yet, so
-it was; and thus, alas, it is but too often in this world of unstable
-things. But the necessity for action was imminent upon him; there would
-be time enough hereafter for thinking and suffering. A few minutes
-sufficed to enable him to lock down his feelings beyond the guess or
-ken of others, and then he went in search of Captain Bowood. He found
-his host and Mrs Bowood together. The latter was telling her husband
-all about her recent interview with Mrs Boyd. The mistress of Rosemount
-had never had a bird of such strange plumage under her roof before, and
-had rarely been so puzzled as she was to-day. That this woman was a
-lady, Mrs Bowood’s instincts declined to let her believe; but the fact
-that she was Mr Boyd’s wife seemed to prove that she must be something
-better than an adventuress. The one certain fact was, that she was a
-guest at Rosemount, and as such must be made welcome.
-
-When Mr Boyd entered the room, Mrs Bowood was at once struck by the
-change in his appearance. She felt instinctively that some great
-calamity had overtaken this man, and her motherly heart was touched.
-Accordingly, when Mr Boyd intimated to her and the Captain that it was
-imperatively necessary that he and his wife should start for London by
-the five o’clock train, she gave expression to her regret that such a
-necessity should have arisen, but otherwise offered no opposition to
-the proposed step, as, under ordinary circumstances, she would have
-been sure to do. In matters such as these, the Captain always followed
-his wife’s lead. Five minutes later, Oscar Boyd went in search of his
-wife.
-
-
-
-
-IN ST PETER’S.
-
-
-To have spent a winter in Rome is so common an experience for English
-people, that it seems as if there were nothing new to be said about
-it, nothing out of the ordinary routine to be done during its course.
-We all know we must lodge in or near the Piazza di Spagna; must make
-the round of the studios; drive on the Pincio; go to the Trinità to
-hear the nuns sing; have an audience of the Holy Father; drink the
-Trevi water; muse in the Colosseum; wander with delighted bewilderment
-through the sculpture-galleries of the Vatican; explore the ruins on
-the Palatine; get tickets for the Cercola Artistica; attend Sunday
-vespers at St Peter’s; and tire ourselves to death amongst the three
-hundred and odd churches, each one with some special attraction, which
-forbids us to slight it. These things are amongst the unwritten laws
-of travel; English, Americans, and Germans are impelled alike by a
-curious instinct of duty to carry them out to the letter. In so doing,
-they jostle one another perpetually, see over and over again the same
-faces, hear the same remarks, and alas! find only the same ideas. But
-notwithstanding this, there are yet undiscovered corners in the old
-city, and many quaint ceremonies are unknown to or overlooked by the
-_forestieri_. An account of some of these latter may perhaps be found
-interesting.
-
-A few winters ago, we learned, through the politeness of a cardinal’s
-secretary, that certain services well worth attending would take place
-in St Peter’s, commencing at about half-past seven on the mornings
-of the Thursday, Friday, and Saturday in Holy-week. These were the
-consecration of the chrism used in baptism and the oil for extreme
-unction, the commemoration of the death and passion of our Lord,
-and the kindling of the fire for lighting the lamps extinguished on
-Holy-Thursday. As no public notice is given of the hours of these
-ceremonies, we were glad of the information.
-
-The ‘functions’ formerly conducted in the Sistine Chapel were
-transferred some years ago to the Capello Papale, which is in St
-Peter’s, the third chapel on the left-hand side of the nave. It is
-extremely small and inconvenient, being almost entirely taken up
-with stalls for the cardinals, bishops, canons, and vicars lay and
-choral. The pope’s own choir always sing here, but are assembled
-in full strength only on festivals; then, however, their exquisite
-unaccompanied singing is well worth hearing, and in the year of which
-we speak, the soprani and alti were specially good. On Holy-Thursday
-there is scarcely any cessation of worship in the great church all day;
-and at 7.30 A.M. we are barely in time to watch the assembling of the
-functionaries who are to assist at the ceremony of the consecration of
-the oil. The chrism used in baptism is composed of balsam and oil; and
-this and the oil for holy unction are considered extremely precious;
-bishops and other dignitaries journey long distances to procure it, and
-convey it to their respective dioceses and benefices. Their appearance
-adds not a little to the effect of the usual assemblage of canons of St
-Peter’s, for their vestments are much more varied in colour; the canons
-wearing always violet silk robes, and gray or white fur capes when not
-officiating; and their soft hue makes an excellent background for the
-brilliant scarlet trains of the cardinals, two of whom are lighting up
-the corner stalls with their crimson magnificence.
-
-A number of seats take up the space in the middle of the chapel, and
-are arranged in a square, having a table in the centre. The choir
-presently commence singing a Latin hymn, and a glittering procession
-of canons and heads of orders enters; they take their places in the
-square; the chalices with the oil and the balsam of the chrism are
-placed on the table, and the officiating cardinal begins the ceremony.
-He is an exceedingly handsome man, very tall, with clearly cut
-features, and walks in a magnificent fashion; his great white silk
-cope, stiff with its embroidery of gold, silver, and precious stones,
-seems no encumbrance to him, and he looks a fitting president for
-this august meeting. The cardinal blesses the first of the chalices
-presented to him, saying the words of benediction in clear distinct
-tones, the singing meanwhile continuing softly while he lays his hands
-on all the cups placed before him. Then the choir cease, and each
-cardinal, bishop, priest, and canon kneels in turn before the table,
-saying three times, ‘Ave sancta chrisma.’ The sounds of the different
-voices in which the words are said, as their various old, young,
-short, tall, fat, or thin owners pronounce them, have a somewhat odd
-effect, and it is a relief when the lovely singing is resumed, while
-the cardinal’s clear tones pronounce blessings on the oil for extreme
-unction. After this, the same ceremony is repeated, except that the
-words three times said are, ‘Ave sanctum oleum.’ As there are at least
-one hundred and thirty persons to perform this act of devotion, the
-service becomes a little tedious; and if it were not for the novelty,
-the exquisite singing, and the wonderful effects of light and colour
-in the glowing morning atmosphere, we should not have been surprised
-at the absence of our compatriots; but there is a sense of freshness
-and strangeness in the service which makes us wonder the chapel is
-not crowded. The small congregation consists of flower-sellers, women
-in black veils—who always belong to the middle classes—beggars, and
-shopkeepers from the long street leading to St Peter’s. The magnificent
-gathering of officiating priests makes the smallness of the attendance
-more noticeable.
-
-After the consecration service, a mass is celebrated, and during
-the _Gloria in excelsis_, the bells are rung for the last time till
-Saturday.
-
-No mass is sung on Good-Friday; therefore, two hosts are consecrated on
-Holy-Thursday, one of which is placed in a magnificent jewelled pyx,
-and carried in procession to a niche beneath an altar in a side-chapel;
-the beautiful hymn, _Pange lingua_, being sung the while. The niche is
-called a ‘sepulchre,’ and is covered with gold and silver ornaments,
-and glitters with candles. All coverings are removed from the altars,
-and all lights put out on this day, the next ceremony to the mass being
-that of stripping and washing the high-altar. The bare marble of the
-great table is exposed, and those who have taken part in the earlier
-‘functions,’ walk in procession, and stand in a circle round it;
-acolytes carrying purple glass bottles pour on it something that smells
-like vinegar; and each dignitary, being provided with a tiny brush made
-of curled shavings, goes in turn to sweep the surface, places his brush
-on a tray, takes a sponge, with which he rubs the marble, and finally
-replaces that by a napkin, with which it is dried. By this time the
-morning is well on; the worshippers and onlookers in the great church
-are many; but there is no crowding or pushing. As the space is so vast,
-that all who wish can see, a few of the functionaries who keep order
-are quite enough to make things go easily.
-
-At all these services, we are much impressed by the extreme ease with
-which everything is conducted. There is a ‘master of ceremonies,’ and
-he, one fancies, must have held rehearsals; for from the officiating
-cardinal to the smallest acolyte, no one ever moves at the wrong time,
-or steps into the wrong place; yet the marching and counter-marching,
-the handing, giving, placing, taking, involved in such an elaborate
-ceremonial must require nice and careful arrangement and extreme
-foresight. The dresses of the priests who assist at these functions
-are violet cassocks, and very short surplices edged with lace, plaited
-into folds of minute patterns, involving laundry-work of no mean
-description. Other priests, and all bishops and monsignore, wear the
-same coloured cassocks, but with the addition of red pipings on cuffs
-and collars and fronts.
-
-The function of the ‘washing of the altar’ being ended, there is a
-pause; and one cannot but imagine that the cardinal retires to the
-great sacristy with a feeling of relief that the pageant is over for
-the time. The procession winds away to the left, and disappears through
-the gray marble doors of the sacristy; and we go home to lunch, feeling
-as if we had been spending a morning with our ancestors of three
-centuries back. The doings of the last four or five hours do not seem
-to agree with the appearance of the Via Babuino as our old coachman
-rattles us up to the door of our lodgings.
-
-In the afternoon, we are again in St Peter’s; this time, to find it
-almost crowded. At three, the ‘holy relics’ are exposed. These are—the
-handkerchief given by St Veronica to the Saviour as He passed on His
-way to the cross, and on which there is said to be the impression of
-His face; the lance with which His side was pierced; the head of St
-Andrew; and a portion of the true cross. They are presented to the
-public gaze from a balcony at an immense height, on one of the four
-great buttresses which support the dome. There is a rattle of small
-drums, and priests with white vestments appear on the balcony, holding
-up certain magnificent jewelled caskets of different shapes, amidst
-the dazzling settings of which it is quite impossible to recognise any
-object in particular. The kneeling throng, the vast dim church, the
-clouds of incense, the roll of drums, the sudden appearance of the
-glittering figures on the balcony, their disappearance, followed by
-the noise of the crowds as they quickly move and talk, after the dead
-silence during the exposure of the objects of veneration, combine to
-make this a most striking and impressive scene. Then, in the Capello
-Papale, follows the service of the Tenebræ, as it is called, with the
-singing of the Lamentations and the Miserere. The quietness of the now
-densely packed crowd, the soft music, and the glimmer of the few lights
-left in the dim chapel, strike one with a novel effect, after the
-somewhat careless and florid services usually conducted here.
-
-Emerging thence, the vast space of the cathedral looks larger than ever
-in the twilight, and the brilliant line of lights round the shrine
-of St Peter seem to glitter with double lustre; these, however, with
-all others, are soon extinguished, and the great basilica remains in
-darkness with covered crucifixes and stripped altars till Saturday
-morning. The ‘crowd’ as it seemed within the small chapel, appears
-nothing outside, and one by one the listeners disappear through the
-heavy leathern curtain that screens the door, finding by contrast the
-great piazza a scene of brilliant light, but quiet with what seems a
-strange stillness in the midst of a crowded city.
-
-On Good-Friday morning we are again in the Pope’s Chapel at half-past
-seven, and are in time to see the canons take their places in the
-stalls. Three priests, habited only in black cassock, and close
-surplice with no lace edging, advance to the altar and begin the
-service. The first part of this consists simply of a reading in
-Latin of the whole of the chapters from the gospel of St John which
-relate to the passion. The priests take different parts: one reads
-most beautifully the narrative; another speaks the words uttered by
-our Saviour; the third, those used by Pilate; and the choir repeat
-the words of the populace. It is startling in its simplicity, but
-wonderfully dramatic; the dignified remonstrances of Pilate, and the
-clear elocution of the reader of the history, making up an impressive
-service, not the least part of its strangeness consisting in the
-fact of there being no congregation; not a dozen persons besides
-the priests and canons are present in the chapel. This ended, the
-officiating bishop, who is clothed in purple vestments embroidered with
-gold, kneels in prayer before the altar, while the priests prostrate
-themselves. The bishop then rises; and the choir chant softly in a
-minor key while he takes the crucifix from the altar, uncovers it, and
-holds it up to the people. In the afternoon, the relics are exposed,
-Lamentations and Miserere sung after Tenebræ, as on the preceding days;
-but the church is dark, bare, and silent.
-
-The gloom of Friday is forgotten in the brilliant sunshine of Saturday
-morning, and we feel inspired with the freshness and life of a new day,
-as we once more gain the great steps leading to the basilica, watch the
-rainbow on the fountains, and the dancing lights in the waters of the
-large basins in the piazza. The obelisk in the centre is tipped with
-red gold, and the clear blue sky makes the figures on the _loggia_ and
-colonnades stand out with lifelike distinctness. This morning we are
-called to join in an unquestionable festival, the early ceremonial of
-rekindling the lights being one of the most cheerful ‘functions’ in
-which it is possible to participate.
-
-This service commences outside the cathedral; and ascending the steps
-to the _loggia_ or porch, we find it already occupied by an imposing
-array of priests and bishops. The handsome cardinal again officiates;
-he is seated with his back to the piazza, just within the pillars
-of the porch, and facing the brazen centre-doors of the church. In
-front of him is an enormous brasier, in which burns a bright fire of
-coals, branches, and leaves, which has been lighted by a spark struck
-from a flint outside the church. He wears magnificent purple and gold
-vestments; his finely embroidered cope and jewelled mitre glitter in
-the sun. Around him are acolytes, some of whom tend the fire, while
-others carry censers; priests, canons, and bishops all gorgeously
-apparelled, and performing their parts in the service with the usual
-precision and alacrity. Two priests stand with their backs to the great
-bronze doors; one bearing a massive gold cross, the other holding a
-bamboo with a transverse bar on the top, and on this are three candles.
-After some chanting, the cardinal rises; and an acolyte fills a censer
-with live coals from the brasier, and brings it for benediction;
-another presents five large cones of incense covered with gold; these
-are also blessed and sprinkled with holy-water; then incense is put
-on the hot ashes in the censer; and as the smoke ascends, the great
-bronze doors, so rarely unclosed, are thrown open, and the procession
-enters the cathedral. The effect is strangely beautiful. The lovely
-early morning light and sunshine, the great building empty of living
-thing, the gorgeous procession throwing a line of brilliant colour into
-the dim soft mist of the nave, the choir chanting as the priests walk,
-their voices echoing in the great space—all form a combination which
-must touch the least impressionable spectator, and which cannot but be
-photographed on the memory to its smallest detail. At the door, there
-is a pause while one of the candles on the bamboo is lighted; a second
-flame is kindled in the nave, and the third at the altar in the choir
-chapel. Thence, light is immediately sent to the other churches in
-Rome, where also darkness has reigned since Thursday afternoon.
-
-A venerable canon now ascends a platform, and from a very high desk
-reads some chapters, recites prayers, and then lights the great
-Easter candle which stands beside him. This is a huge pillar of wax,
-decorated with beautifully painted wreaths of flowers, and is placed in
-a magnificent silver candlestick. He takes the five cones of incense
-which the cardinal had blessed in the porch, and fixes them on the
-candle in the form of a cross. During his reading, the candles and
-lamps all over the church are relighted, and when it is over, all who
-formed the procession, bearing bouquets of lovely flowers, and small
-brushes like those used on Holy-Thursday, march to the baptistery,
-where the cardinal blesses the font, pours on the water in the huge
-basin chrism and oil, and sprinkles water to the four points of the
-compass—typifying the quarters of the globe.
-
-On the return of the procession to the choir chapel, the cardinal and
-others prostrate themselves before the altar while some beautiful
-litanies are chanted. Then follows a pause, during which the priests
-retire to the sacristy to take off their embroidered vestments. They
-return wearing only surplices edged with handsome lace over their
-cassocks. The cardinal has a plain cope of white silk and gold.
-
-After this, is the mass; and at the _Gloria_ the bells ring out a grand
-peal, all pictures are uncovered, and the organ is played for the first
-time during many days. The great church resumes its wonted cheerful
-aspect, and light and colour hold again their places.
-
-The afternoon ceremonies consist only of a procession of the cardinal
-to worship at special altars, the display of the holy relics, and the
-singing of a fine _Alleluia_ and psalm, instead of the usual vespers.
-
-Some pause is needed, one feels, before the cathedral is filled by
-the crowds who attend the Easter-Sunday mass; for no greater contrast
-can be imagined than that between the scenes of the quiet morning
-functions, with the numerous priests and few people, the stillness
-and peace of the hours we have been describing, and those enacted by
-the thronging crowds of foreign sightseers at the great festivals,
-who, pushing, gesticulating, standing on tiptoe, and asking irrelevant
-questions in audible voices, seem to look on these sacred services as
-spectacles devised for their gratification, rather than as expressions
-of the worship of a large section of their fellow-creatures; thus
-exemplifying the rapidity with which ignorance becomes irreverence.
-
-
-
-
-AMONG THE ADVERTISERS AGAIN.
-
-
-Can it ever be said that there is nothing in the papers, when
-advertisers are always to the fore, providing matter for admiration,
-wonder, amusement, or speculation? One day a gentleman announces
-the loss of his heart between the stalls and boxes of the Haymarket
-Theatre; the next, we have ‘R. N.’ telling ‘Dearest E.’—‘If you
-have the slightest inclination to become first-mate on board the
-screw-steamer, say so, and I will ask papa;’ and by-and-by we are
-trying to guess how the necessity arose for the following: ‘St James’s
-Theatre, Friday.—The Gentleman to whom a Lady offered her hand,
-apologises for not being able to take it.’
-
-Does any one want two thousand pounds? That nice little sum is to be
-obtained by merely introducing a certain New-Yorker to ‘the Pontess;’
-or if he or she be dead, to his or her heirs. ‘There is a doubt whether
-the cognomen was, or is, borne by a woman, a man, or a child; if by
-the last, it must have been born prior to the spring of 1873.’ If the
-Pontess-seeker fails in his quest from not knowing exactly what it is
-that he wants, an advertiser in the _Times_ is likely to have the same
-fortune from knowing, and letting those interested know, exactly what
-it is that he does not want. Needing the services of a married pair as
-coachman and cook, this outspoken gentleman stipulates that the latter
-must not grumble at her mistress being her own housekeeper; nor expect
-fat joints to be ordered to swell her perquisites; nor be imbued with
-the idea that because plenty may be around, she is bound to swell the
-tradesmen’s bills by as much waste as possible. ‘No couple need apply
-that expect the work to be put out, are fond of change, or who dictate
-to their employers how much company may be kept.’
-
-When two of a trade fall out, they are apt to disclose secrets which it
-were wiser to keep to themselves. Disgusted by the success of a rival
-whose advertising boards bore the representation of a venerable man
-sitting cross-legged at his work, a San Francisco tailor advertised:
-‘Don’t be humbugged by hoary-headed patriarchs who picture themselves
-cross-legged, and advertise pants made to order, three, four, and five
-dollars a pair. Do you know how it’s done? When you go into one of
-these stores that cover up their shop-windows with sample lengths of
-cassimere, marked “Pants to order, three dollars fifty cents and four
-dollars;” after you have made a selection of the piece of cloth you
-want your pants made from, the pompous individual who is chief engineer
-of the big tailor shears, lays them softly on the smoothest part of
-his cutting-table, unrolls his tape-line, and proceeds to measure his
-victim all over the body. The several measurements are all carefully
-entered in a book by the other humbug. The customer is then told that
-his pants will be finished in about twenty-four or thirty-six hours;
-all depends upon how long it takes to shrink the cloth. That’s the
-end of the first act. Part second.—The customer no sooner leaves the
-store than the merchant-tailor calls his shopboy Jim, and sends him
-around to some wholesale jobber, and says: “Get me a pair of pants,
-pattern thirty-six,” which is the shoddy imitation of the piece of
-cassimere that your pants are to be made of. “Get thirty-four round
-the waist, and thirty-three in the leg.” They are pulled out of a pile
-of a hundred pairs just like them, made by Chinese cheap labour. All
-the carefully made measurements and other claptrap are the bait on the
-hook. That’s the way it’s done.’
-
-Traders sometimes give themselves away, as Americans say, innocently
-enough, a Paris grocer advertising Madeira at two francs, Old Madeira
-at three francs, and genuine Madeira at ten francs, a bottle. A
-Bordeaux wine-merchant, after stating the price per cask and bottle
-of ‘the most varied and superior growths of Bordeaux and Burgundy,’
-concludes by announcing that he has also a stock of natural wine to be
-sold by private treaty. A sacrificing draper funnily tempts ladies to
-rid him of three hundred baptiste robes by averring ‘they will not last
-over two days;’ and the proprietor of somebody’s Methuselah Pills can
-give them no higher praise than, ‘Thousands have taken them, and are
-living still.’
-
-When continental advertisers, bent upon lightening British purses,
-rashly adventure to attack Englishmen in their own tongue, the
-result is often disastrously comical. The proprietor of a ‘milk-cur’
-establishment in Aix-la-Chapelle, ‘foundet before twenty years of
-orders from the magistrat,’ boasts that his quality of ‘Suisse and his
-experiences causes him to deliver a milk pure and nutritive, obtained
-by sounds cow’s and by a natural forage.’ One Parisian hosier informs
-his hoped-for patrons he possesses patent machinery for cutting
-‘sirths’—Franco-English, we presume, for shirts. Another proclaims his
-resolve to sell his wares dirty cheap; and a dealer in butter, eggs,
-and cheeses, whose ‘produces’ arrive every day ‘from the farms of the
-establishment without intermedial,’ requests would-be customers to
-send orders by unpaid letters, as ‘the house does not recognise any
-traveller.’ A Hamburg firm notifies that their ‘universal binocle of
-field is also preferable for the use in the field, like in the theatre,
-and had to the last degree of perfection concerning to rigouressness
-and pureness of the glass;’ while they are ready to supply all comers
-with ‘A Glass of Field for the Marine 52ctm opjectiv opening in extra
-shout lac-leather étui and strap, at sh 35s 6d.’ This is a specimen of
-their ‘English young man’s’ powers of composition that would justify
-the enterprising opticians in imitating the Frenchman whose shop-window
-was graced with a placard, bearing the strange device, ‘English spoken
-here a few.’
-
-An Italian, speaking French well and a little English, with whom ‘wage
-is no object,’ advertising in a London paper for an engagement as an
-indoor servant, puts down his height as ‘fifty-seven feet seven.’ But
-he manages his little English to better purpose than his countryman of
-Milan, who offers the bestest comforts to travellers, at his hotel,
-which he describes as ‘situated in the centre of an immence parck,
-with most magnificient views of the Alp chain, and an English church
-residing in the hotel’—the latter being furthermore provided with
-‘baths of mineral waters in elegant private cabins and shower rooms,
-and two basins for bathin’; one for gentlemen, the oter for ladies;’
-while it contains a hundred and fifty rooms, ‘all exposed to the
-south-west dining-groom.’
-
-Such an exposure might well cause the Milanese host’s visitors to
-become ‘persons dependent upon the headache, or who have copious
-perspirations,’ whom a M. Lejeune invites ‘to come and visit without
-buying his new fabrication,’ with the chance of meeting ‘the
-hat-makers, who endeavour by caoutchouc, gummed linen and others, to
-prevent hats from becoming dirt;’ eager to hear the inventor of the new
-fabrication demonstrate ‘how much all those preparations are injurious,
-and excite, on contrary, to perspiration.’ Equally anxious to attract
-British custom is a doctor-dentist who, ‘after many years consecrated
-to serious experiences, has perfected the laying of artificial teeth
-by wholly new proceedings. He makes himself most difficulty works; it
-is the best guaranty, and, thanks to his peculiar proceeding, his work
-joins to elegancy, solidity, and duration.’ Considering all things, our
-doctor-dentist’s derangement of sentences is quite as commendable as
-that of the Belfast gentleman desirous of letting ‘the House at present
-occupied, and since erected by J. H——, Esq.;’ who might pair off with
-the worthy responsible for—‘To be sold, _six_ cows—No. 1, a beautiful
-cow, calved eight days, with splendid calf at foot, a good milker;
-No. 2, a cow to calve in about fourteen days, and great promise. The
-_other two_ cows are calved about twenty-one days, and _will speak for
-themselves_.’
-
-By a fortuitous concurrence of antagonistic lines, the _Times_ one
-morning gave mothers the startling information that
-
- JOSEPH GILLOTT’S STEEL PENS
- THE BEST FOOD FOR INFANTS
- IS PREPARED SOLELY BY
- SAVORY AND MOORE
-
-—a hint as likely to be taken as that of a public benefactor who
-announced in the _Standard_: ‘Incredible as it may seem, I have ground
-to hope that half a glass of cold water, taken immediately after every
-meal, will be found to be the divinely appointed antidote for every
-kind of medicine.’
-
-Another benevolent individual kindly tells us how to make coffee:
-
- Placed in the parted straining-top let stand
- The moistened coffee, till the grain expand,
- Before the fire; then boiling water pour,
- And quaff the nectar of the Indian shore.
-
-But he is not quite so generous as he seems, since he is careful
-to inform us he is in possession of an equally excellent recipe
-for bringing out the flavour of tea, which he will forward for
-five shillings-worth of stamps. Urged by an equally uncontrollable
-desire to serve his fellow-creatures, a ‘magister in palmystery and
-conditionalist’ offers, with the aid of guardian spirits, to obtain for
-any one a glimpse at the past and present; and, on certain conditions,
-of the future; but with less wisdom than a magister of palmystery
-should display, he winds up with the prosaic notification, ‘Boots and
-shoes made to order.’
-
-The wants of the majority of advertisers are intelligible enough;
-but it needs some special knowledge to understand what may be
-meant by the good people who hanker for a portable mechanic, an
-efficient handwriter, a peerless feeder, a first-class ventilator on
-human hair-nets, a practical cutter by measure on ladies’ waists,
-a youth used to wriggling, and a boy to kick Gordon. Nor is the
-position required by a respectable young lady as ‘figure in a
-large establishment,’ altogether clear to our mind; and we may be
-doing injustice to the newspaper proprietor requiring ‘a sporting
-compositor,’ by inferring he wants a man clever alike at ‘tips’ and
-types.
-
-It does not say much for American theatrical ‘combinations,’ that the
-managers of one of them ostentatiously proclaim: ‘We pay our salaries
-regularly every Tuesday; by so doing, we avoid lawsuits, are not
-compelled to constantly change our people, and always carry our watches
-in our pockets.’ Neither would America appear to be quite such a land
-of liberty as it is supposed to be, since a gentleman advertises his
-want of a furnished room where he can have perfect independence; while
-we have native testimony to our cousins’ curiosity in a quiet young
-lady desiring a handsome furnished apartment ‘with non-inquisitive
-parties;’ and a married couple seeking three or four furnished rooms
-‘for very light housekeeping, where people are not inquisitive.’ Can
-it be the same pair who want a competent Protestant girl ‘to take
-entire charge of a bottled baby?’ If so, their anxiety to abide with
-non-curious folk is easily comprehended.
-
-Very whimsical desires find expression in the advertising columns of
-the day. A lady of companionable habits, wishing to meet with a lady
-or gentleman requiring a companion, would prefer to act as such to
-‘one who, from circumstances, is compelled to lead a retired life.’
-A stylish and elegant widow, a good singer and musician, possessing
-energy, business knowledge, and means of her own, ready, ‘for the
-sake of a social home,’ to undertake the supervision of a widower’s
-establishment, thinks it well to add, goodness knows why, ‘a Radical
-preferred.’ Somebody in search of a middle-aged man willing to travel,
-stipulates for a misanthrope with bitter experience of the wickedness
-of mankind; displaying as pleasant a taste as the proprietor of a
-wonderful discovery for relieving pain and curing disease without
-medicine, who wants a partner in the shape of a consumptive or
-asthmatical gentleman.
-
-Your jocular man, lacking an outlet for his wit, will often pay
-for the privilege of airing his humour in public. Here are a few
-examples. ‘Wanted, a good Liberal candidate for the Kilmarnock Burghs.
-Several inferior ones given in exchange.’—‘Wanted a Thin Man who has
-been used to collecting debts, to crawl through keyholes and find
-debtors who are never at home. Salary, nothing the first year; to
-be doubled each year afterwards.’—‘Wanted, Twelve-feet planks at
-the corners of all the streets in Melbourne, until the Corporation
-can find some other means of crossing the metropolitan creeks. The
-planks and the Corporation may be tied up to the lamp-posts in the
-dry weather.’—‘Wanted, a Cultured Gentleman used to milking goats; a
-University man preferred.’—‘Correspondence is solicited from Bearded
-Ladies, Circassians, and other female curiosities, who, in return for a
-true heart and devoted husband, would travel during the summer months,
-and allow him to take the money at the door.’—‘Wanted, a Coachman,
-the ugliest in the city; he must not, however, have a moustache nor
-red hair, as those are very taking qualities in certain households at
-present. As he will not be required to take care of his employer’s
-daughter, and is simply engaged to see to the horses, he will only be
-allowed twenty dollars per month.’
-
-A great deal might be said about pictorial advertisements, if the
-impossibility of reproducing them did not stand in the way. As it is,
-we must content ourselves with showing how an advertisement can be
-illustrated without the help of draughtsman or engraver. By arranging
-ordinary printers’ types thus:
-
-[Illustration]
-
-an ingenious advertising agent presents the public with portraits of
-the man who does not and the man who does advertise, and says: ‘Try it,
-and see how you will look yourself.’
-
-
-
-
-A STRANGE INSTITUTION.
-
-
-Amongst the oral traditions of the past in Cambridge, there is handed
-down to the modern undergraduate an account of a secret Society which
-was established in the university at a remote period of time, and which
-was called the Lie Society. At the weekly meetings of the members, an
-ingenious falsehood was fabricated, which frequently referred to some
-person locally known, and which was probably not altogether free from
-scandal. It was the duty of all the members to propagate this invented
-story as much as possible by relating it to every one they met. Each
-member had to make a note of the altered form in which the lie thus
-circulated came round to him individually, and these were read out at
-the next meeting with all the copious additions and changes the story
-had received passing from one to the other, often to such an extent
-as to leave but little of the original fabric left. After a time the
-Society began to languish, and soon after disappeared altogether.
-
-In the dim past, and before the present stringent regulations were made
-as to examinations in the Senate House, another secret Society was
-organised, called the Beavers, which was for the purpose of enabling
-members, when being examined, to help each other by a system of
-signals. With this view, one of the members of the Beavers was told off
-by lot to perform various duties assigned to him, such as engaging the
-attention of the examiners, and giving information as to the papers by
-preconcerted signs. This Society soon collapsed. To one of its members
-is credited the ingenious watch-faced Euclid, and the edition of
-Little-go-classics on sleeve-links.
-
-
-
-
-MY HOME IN ANNANDALE REVISITED.
-
-
- I leave with joy the smoky town,
- As pining captive quits his cell,
- O’er shining sea and purple fell,
- Again to see the sun go down:
-
- As once behind great Penmanmawr,
- A ball of fire, o’er Conway Bay
- He silent hung, then sank away,
- And beauteous shone the evening star.
-
- My village home at length I reach,
- And stand beside my father’s door;
- His feet are on its step no more:
- From texts like this, Time loves to preach.
-
- Daylight is dying in the west;
- The leaden night-clouds blot the sky;
- Across the fields, the pewit’s cry
- Only makes deeper nature’s rest.
-
- The water-wheel stands at the mill,
- The fisher leaves the sandy shore,
- By garden gate and unlatched door
- Lassies and lads are meeting still.
-
- Beside me stand the kirk and manse,
- On this green knoll among the trees;
- The summer burn still croons to these;
- But where are those who loved me once?
-
- Only a sound of breaking waves,
- All through the night, comes from the sea:
- But those who kindly thought of me,
- Are sleeping in these quiet graves.
-
- No sounds of earth can wake the dead!
- I vainly yearn for what hath been:
- The faces I in youth have seen,
- With the lost years away have fled.
-
- The faintest breath that stirs the air
- Will take the dead leaf from the tree;
- Thus, one by one, have gone from me
- Those who my young companions were.
-
- A stranger in my native place,
- Wearing the silver mask of years,
- None meet me now with smiles or tears,
- Or in the man the boy can trace.
-
- My trees cut down, have left the place
- Vacant and silent where they grew;
- From fields and farms, that once I knew,
- I miss each well-remembered face.
-
- This price, returning, I must pay,
- With wandering foot who loved to roam:
- Thrice happy he who finds a home
- And constant friends, when far away.
-
- As relics from a holy shrine,
- Dear names are treasured in my heart;
- Death only for an hour can part;
- And all I loved, will yet be mine.
-
- With blinding tears, I turn away.
- Young hearts round this new life can twine;
- But from my path has passed for aye
- The light and love of auld langsyne.
-
- KIRTLE.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Printed and Published by W. & R. CHAMBERS, 47 Paternoster Row, LONDON,
-and 339 High Street, EDINBURGH.
-
- * * * * *
-
-_All Rights Reserved._
-
-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CHAMBERS'S JOURNAL OF POPULAR
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-1884 ***
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-<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Chambers's Journal of Popular Literature, Science, and Art, Fifth Series, No. 6, Vol. I, February 9, 1884, by Various</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Chambers's Journal of Popular Literature, Science, and Art, Fifth Series, No. 6, Vol. I, February 9, 1884</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Various</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: April 03, 2021 [eBook #64975]</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Susan Skinner, Eric Hutton and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)</div>
-
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CHAMBERS'S JOURNAL OF POPULAR LITERATURE, SCIENCE, AND ART, FIFTH SERIES, NO. 6, VOL. I, FEBRUARY 9, 1884 ***</div>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">{81}</span></p>
-
-<h1>CHAMBERS’S JOURNAL<br />
-OF<br />
-POPULAR<br />
-LITERATURE, SCIENCE, AND ART.</h1>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h2 class="nobreak">CONTENTS</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='center'>
-
-<!-- Autogenerated TOC. Modify or delete as required. -->
-
-<a href="#CIRCULATING-LIBRARY_CRITICS">CIRCULATING-LIBRARY CRITICS.</a><br />
-<a href="#BY_MEAD_AND_STREAM">BY MEAD AND STREAM.</a><br />
-<a href="#CURIOUS_ANTIPATHIES_IN_ANIMALS">CURIOUS ANTIPATHIES IN ANIMALS.</a><br />
-<a href="#TWO_DAYS_IN_A_LIFETIME">TWO DAYS IN A LIFETIME.</a><br />
-<a href="#IN_ST_PETERS">IN ST PETER’S.</a><br />
-<a href="#AMONG_THE_ADVERTISERS_AGAIN">AMONG THE ADVERTISERS AGAIN.</a><br />
-<a href="#A_STRANGE_INSTITUTION">A STRANGE INSTITUTION.</a><br />
-<a href="#MY_HOME_IN_ANNANDALE_REVISITED">MY HOME IN ANNANDALE REVISITED.</a><br />
-
-<!-- End Autogenerated TOC. -->
-
-</p>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="header" style="max-width: 43.75em;">
- <img class="w100" src="images/header.jpg" alt="Chambers’s Journal of Popular Literature, Science,
-and Art. Fifth Series. Established by William and Robert Chambers, 1832. Conducted by R. Chambers (Secundus)." />
-</div>
-
-
-<hr class="full" />
-<div class="center">
-<div class="header">
-<p class="floatl"><span class="smcap">No. 6.—Vol. I.</span></p>
-<p class="floatr"><span class="smcap">Price</span> 1½<em>d.</em></p>
-<p class="floatc">SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 1884.</p>
-</div></div></div>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="CIRCULATING-LIBRARY_CRITICS">CIRCULATING-LIBRARY CRITICS.</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<p><span class="smcap">It</span> appears to be a mania with some people to
-criticise everything which comes in their way, no
-matter whether it be the last new bonnet of Mrs
-Smith, the pug dog possessed by Mr Jones, or
-the last new novel by Mr Brown; and as a true
-specimen of the ready-made critic, we might cite
-those interesting individuals who, having more
-time upon their hands than they can comfortably
-get rid of, endeavour to dispose of some of the
-surplus stock by subscribing to a circulating
-library, and diligently ‘cutting-up’ and otherwise
-abusing every author they read. Novels,
-of course, are the principal dish of these readers;
-and it must candidly be admitted that some of
-the notes pencilled in the margins are not altogether
-uncalled for; though some of them are
-decidedly personal, not to say unpleasant; while
-others, on the contrary, only raise a smile, and
-if particularly ridiculous, are underlined by some
-sarcastic reader, in order to call more attention
-to the blunder, which has probably been committed
-by some indolent and not very well-informed
-critic.</p>
-
-<p>But taken as a whole, this criticism, although
-in some cases severe, is but the echo of public
-opinion, and as such, is entitled to consideration,
-no matter how humble the source may appear
-from which it springs; and we know of nothing
-more enjoyable than a well-read book, which has
-been some ten or twelve months in circulation.
-And such a book would without doubt prove of
-great service to its author, could he by any means
-get hold of a copy; for he would then have the
-opportunity of judging for himself how his work
-was appreciated by the public; and although
-some of the remarks would doubtless cause him
-annoyance, he should remember that they are
-the candid opinion of the readers through whose
-hands the work has passed. And if he has good
-sense and a desire to please the public, he would
-avail himself of those critical remarks which
-seemed to be just, and alter the text in any
-future editions. It is an author’s place to
-write his work to the best of his ability, and
-that of his readers to criticise it after it has
-appeared in print. Whether the book be good
-or bad, the author may be sure that he will
-have a faithful and industrious army of critics
-in the shape of subscribers to circulating libraries,
-who will diligently search out all its little defects,
-and display them in the margin for the edification
-of the next reader, who in turn will try his
-best to discover something which the other has
-passed over, and triumphantly display it in a
-similar manner. Although ‘the stone that is
-rolling’ is said to gather no moss, it is a far
-different thing with a novel; for the faster it
-passes from hand to hand, the more and more
-abundant becomes its crop; and at a seaside
-watering-place, the writer has seen blank sheets
-of letter-paper inserted between some of the
-leaves, because the margins were already too
-crowded, to admit of some reader adding his mite
-to the evidence there accumulated!</p>
-
-<p>This is why we suppose it might be advantageous
-to an author to get hold of a copy of
-his work which has been through a like ordeal;
-and let him remember at the same time that his
-book has probably travelled through the hands
-of some people who are intimately acquainted
-with certain subjects upon which it treats, and
-whose opinion is not to be lightly passed over.
-As some of the novelists of the present day seem
-to think the law a machine which they can work
-upon as they choose, without the slightest regard
-to facts, it might be recommended to them either
-to study the subject seriously, or submit any
-notes which may appear upon this subject in
-the margins of their works, to an experienced
-lawyer; and in nine cases out of ten, the author
-will find that the readers’ notes are correct. This
-may be taken as a proof that people, although
-they may pass rough criticism upon the characters,
-situation, and general plot of a novel, are
-not so eager to criticise points which touch upon
-the law, physic, &amp;c., unless they thoroughly
-understand the subject. As an instance of this,
-we have heard of a doctor who would never read<span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">{82}</span>
-a new novel by a certain author, because in a
-former work this gentleman had murdered a
-man in a manner which my friend described as
-being ‘utterly ridiculous;’ for the poison administered,
-and of which the character in the novel
-died, would not in reality ‘have killed a cat.’</p>
-
-<p>These remarks may serve to show that the
-public, although they may accept a taking title,
-a pretty cover, and a pound or so of toned paper,
-as a novel, will also exercise their right of picking
-its contents to pieces as soon as possible. To
-show with what diligence some of them do so,
-we quote the following: ‘The red rose actually
-<i>died</i> the captain’s cheeks.’ The word in italics
-is underlined in the book, and altered in the
-margin to <i>dyed</i>. This, of course, is merely a
-printer’s error; but it serves to show how the
-circulating-library critic delights in ‘cutting-up’
-the work of other people’s brains, and exposing
-to the best advantage any little defect he may
-discover. Then, again, in the same work, in
-describing the scene of a shipwreck, the author
-makes use of the following words: ‘Quantities
-of chips, and pieces of wood, and bits of <i>iron, were
-floating about</i>.’ The words in italics are underlined
-in pencil by some incredulous reader, who
-could not quite appreciate the joke, and took
-this method of calling the next reader’s attention
-to it. The words might have been a mere slip
-of the pen; but, as they stand underlined in the
-book, it is impossible to overlook them now.</p>
-
-<p>A little farther on in the same work, an unmarried
-gentleman is supposed to have made his
-will, bequeathing all his property to friends settled
-in the colonies; and his relatives at his decease
-are disputing the same, when this paragraph
-occurs, and is supposed to be uttered by a <i>lawyer</i>:
-‘But had he lived to marry Lady A——, he
-would surely have cancelled this will!’ Probably
-had the gentleman lived, he would have
-done so; but our pencil-critic shows that such
-an act would have been altogether unnecessary,
-by writing against the paragraph: ‘The act of
-marrying would have rendered it null.’ This is
-strictly and legally correct; and as the words
-are supposed to be spoken by a lawyer, it shows
-that the opinion of these gentlemen is not always
-to be implicitly relied upon, especially when they
-air them in a novel.</p>
-
-<p>To turn now to the criticising of situations,
-we find our amateur critic is quite as hard
-upon them as he is upon the characters, and will
-not allow a novelist to make use of situations
-which it is scarcely probable would happen in
-real life. A noble lord is forced through some
-miraculous circumstances which would rival the
-adventures narrated in the <i>Arabian Nights</i>, to
-associate with poachers, who are well known to
-the police; and after some time has elapsed, he
-at length regains the property, which has wrongfully
-been kept from him by his uncle; and to
-celebrate this happy event, he gives what is
-styled in the novel a ‘levée,’ and invites thereto
-the whole country-side, <i>including the poachers</i>,
-and also the police of the town. Our critic could
-not quite appreciate the novelty of this situation,
-and therefore pencils in the margin: ‘Is it likely
-the poachers would have ventured there?’ After
-studying the facts of the case, and reducing the
-subject to practical life, which is evidently the
-meaning of our critic, and also bearing in mind
-that the police and poachers were in the same
-room, and that several of the latter were ‘wanted’
-for various offences, we may take that bit of
-criticism as sound.</p>
-
-<p>If our voluntary critics will read novels, they
-must expect novel things; but as far as our
-observation goes, this is the very thing they
-criticise most. They will not allow a young and
-delicate lady to elope with a handsome Captain
-on a stormy night with nothing to protect her
-from the weather but a flimsy ball-dress, under
-any consideration whatever; but feelingly suggest
-in the margin that the gentleman should either
-offer her his ulster or procure an umbrella; a
-piece of advice for which I am sure the young
-lady’s parents would devoutly thank them, if
-they only had the pleasure of their acquaintance.</p>
-
-<p>We might easily add to these examples; but
-the above is sufficient to show that the novelist
-who sits down to write a work of fiction merely
-for the sake of airing an opinion, or to please
-a certain person, neither caring in what language
-he expresses himself nor how absurd the book may
-be, may be sure of a warm reception when his
-work falls into the hands of the circulating-library
-critics.</p>
-
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h2 class="nobreak x-ebookmaker-important" id="BY_MEAD_AND_STREAM">BY MEAD AND STREAM.</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<h3>CHAPTER IX.—SLANDER’S SHAFT.</h3>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">They</span> were still at breakfast when the postman
-arrived, and Madge was surprised to find amongst
-the letters two from the Manor. Both were
-addressed in Miss Hadleigh’s large angular writing:
-one was for her uncle, the other for herself.</p>
-
-<p>As Madge had long conducted her uncle’s
-correspondence, she attended to his letters first;
-but remembering that still unexplained quarrel,
-misunderstanding, or whatever it was, between
-him and Mr Hadleigh, she discreetly kept the
-letter from Ringsford back till she had disposed
-of the others. These were all on business, and of
-a most satisfactory nature: good prices for grain,
-good prices for sheep and cattle, and reports of
-a deficient harvest in America, whilst that of
-Willowmere was excellent. Uncle Dick was in
-capital humour, and disposed to be on good terms
-with everybody. It is wonderful how prosperous
-all the world looks when our own affairs are
-thriving; and how merciful we can be in our
-judgment as to the cause of our neighbour’s
-failure.</p>
-
-<p>Then Madge—sly Madge—opened the Ringsford
-letter, and read a formal invitation to dinner at
-the Manor a fortnight hence, on the eve of Mr
-Philip Hadleigh’s departure.</p>
-
-<p>‘You will go, of course, uncle?’ said Madge,
-looking up with a coaxing smile.—‘And you will
-break through your rule of not going to parties<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">{83}</span>
-for once, aunt? You know we may not see
-Philip for a long, long time.’</p>
-
-<p>Aunt Hessy smiled, and looked inquiringly at
-her husband. Dick Crawshay was not a man to
-bear malice; but it was evident that he did not
-relish this invitation. He was not frowning, but
-his face was not quite so cheerful as it had been
-a moment before.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t know,’ he said, rising. ‘I hate these
-sort of things at Ringsford. They’ve always a
-lot of people that don’t know anything’ (about
-farming and cattle, he meant); ‘and when I’m
-there, I always feel as uncomfortable as a bull
-in a china-shop that didn’t want to break the
-crockery. Certain, I have spoken to some young
-fools that knew all about betting lists, but not
-one that knew the points of a horse—except
-Wrentham. They only want me there because
-they want you, Madge; and if it wasn’t for you,
-I’d say no straight off.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But you mustn’t do that, uncle; at least wait
-till we see what is in my letter.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You can tell me about it when I come in.
-That new reaping-machine ain’t doing what I
-expected of it, and I want to give it a fair trial
-under my own eyes.’</p>
-
-<p>With that he went out, preceded by the dogs;
-for they had made for the door the moment their
-master rose to his feet, and as it opened, almost
-tumbled over each other in their haste to be first
-afield.</p>
-
-<p>‘I hope he will go,’ said Madge thoughtfully;
-adding, after a pause: ‘We must try to persuade
-him, aunt.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Why are you so anxious about this, child?
-I never knew you to be very eager to go to
-Ringsford yourself.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Because I am about to disappoint Mr Hadleigh
-in a matter which he considers of great importance.’</p>
-
-<p>Then she read the strange letter she had
-received from him, and Dame Crawshay was surprised
-almost as much as Madge herself by the
-earnestness of the appeal it contained. She was
-silent for several minutes, evidently occupied by
-some serious reflections. At length:</p>
-
-<p>‘Thou knowest how I love the lad; but that
-does not blind me to his faults—nay, it need not
-startle thee to hear me say he has faults: we
-all have our share of them. Perhaps it is lucky
-for thee that what seems to me Philip’s worst
-fault is that he has the impulsive way his father
-speaks about.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But all his impulses are good-natured ones.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I do not doubt it; but that makes it the
-more needful he should have some experience of
-the world’s ways before tying himself and you
-down to a hard-and-fast line. Nothing but
-experience will ever teach us that the hard-and-fast
-line of life is the easiest in the end. There’s
-a heap of truth in what Mr Hadleigh says about
-Philip, though he doesn’t seem to me to have
-found the surest way of keeping him right.’</p>
-
-<p>‘What would you advise, then?’ was the eager
-question.</p>
-
-<p>‘Thou must settle this matter for thyself,
-Madge; but I will tell thee that there is one
-thing Mr Hadleigh is quite wrong about.’</p>
-
-<p>‘What is that?’</p>
-
-<p>‘In saying that Mr Shield would try to keep
-Philip from <i>you</i>.’</p>
-
-<p>The emphasis on the last word and the curious,
-half-sad, half-pleased smile which accompanied it,
-caused Madge to ask wonderingly:</p>
-
-<p>‘Did you know Mr Shield?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ay, long ago, before he went abroad.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Have you never seen him since?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Once—only once, and that was a sad time,
-although we were not five minutes together. He
-heard only a bit of the truth: he would not
-stay to hear it all, and I daresay he has had
-many a sorry hour for it since.’</p>
-
-<p>She ceased, and leaning back on her chair,
-lapsed into a dream of sorrowful memories.
-Madge did not like to disturb her, for she was
-suddenly amazed by the suspicion that once upon
-a time Austin Shield had been Aunt Hessy’s
-lover.</p>
-
-<p>But the active dame was not given to wool-gathering,
-and looking up quickly, she caught
-the expression of her niece, and guessed its
-meaning.</p>
-
-<p>‘Nay, thou art mistaken,’ she said, shaking
-her head, and that curious smile again appeared
-on her face; ‘there has only been one man
-that was ever more than another to me, and
-that’s thy uncle.... But I’ll tell thee a secret,
-child; it can do no harm. Hast forgotten
-what I was telling thee and Philip in the garden
-yesterday?’</p>
-
-<p>‘About the two lovers? O no.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, the man was Mr Austin Shield, and the
-girl was thy mother.’</p>
-
-<p>‘My mother!’ was the ejaculation of the
-astounded Madge.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes. It was a silly business on her part,
-poor soul; but she was cruelly deceived. She
-had been told lies about him; and there were
-so many things which made them look like truth,
-that she believed them.’</p>
-
-<p>‘What could she have been told that could
-make her forget him?’</p>
-
-<p>‘She never did forget him—she never could
-forget him; and she told the man she married
-so. What she was told was, that Austin had
-forgotten her, and taken somebody else to wife.
-At the same time no letters came from him.
-She waited for months, watching every post; but
-there was never a sign from him. She fretted
-and fretted; and father fretted to see her getting
-so bad on account of a man who was not worth
-thinking about. He had broken his word, and
-that was enough to make father turn his back
-on him for ever.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But how did my mother come to—to marry
-so soon?’</p>
-
-<p>‘She was kind of persuaded into it by father,
-and by her wish to please him. He was a kind
-good man; but he was strict in his notions of
-things. He considered that it was sinful of
-her to be thinking of a man who had done her
-such wrong. Then Mr Heathcote was a great
-friend of father’s—he was a deacon in our chapel—and
-he asked sister to be his wife. He was
-quiet and well-to-do then; and father was on his
-side, though he was twenty years older than your
-mother. Father thought that his age would make
-him the better guide for one who was so weak
-as to keep on mourning for a base man. He was
-never done speaking about the happy home that
-was offered her, and in every prayer asked the
-Lord to turn her heart into the right path.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">{84}</span>
-At last she consented: but she told Mr Heathcote
-everything; and he said he was content, and that
-he would try his best to make her content
-too, by-and-by. Father was glad—and that did
-cheer poor sister a bit, for she was fond of father.
-So she married.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And then?’</p>
-
-<p>Only the subdued voice, the wide, startled eyes,
-indicated the agitation of the daughter, who was
-listening to this piteous story of a mother’s
-suffering.</p>
-
-<p>‘And then there came a letter from Austin
-Shield, and he came himself almost as soon as
-the letter. He had been “up country,” as he
-called it, for more than a year, and he had been
-lucky beyond all his expectations. But there
-were no posts in the wild places he had been
-staying at. He had written to warn us not
-to expect to hear of him for many months; but
-the vessel that was carrying that message home
-to us—eh, deary, what sorrow it would have
-saved us—was wrecked in a fog on some big
-rock near the Scilly Isles; and although a-many
-of the mail-bags were fished up out of the
-sea, the one with sister’s letter in it was never
-found.’</p>
-
-<p>‘What did my poor mother do?’</p>
-
-<p>‘She sat and shivered and moaned; but she
-could not speak. I saw him when he came, and
-told him that he must not see her any more, for
-she was married. I wasn’t able to tell him how
-it happened, for the sight of his face feared me
-so. It was like white stone, and his eyes were
-black. Before I could get my tongue again, he
-gave me a look that I can never forget, and walked
-away.... I found out where he was, some time
-afterwards, and wrote telling him all about it.
-He answered me, saying: “Thank you. I understand.
-God bless you all.” We never had
-another word direct from him; but we often
-heard about him; and some time after your
-mother went to rest, we learned that he had really
-got married; and the news pleased me vastly,
-for it helped me to think that maybe he was
-comfortable and resigned at last. I hope he
-is; but he has no family, and his sending for
-Philip looks as if he wants somebody to console
-him.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But who was it spread the lies about him
-at the first?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah, that we never knew. It was cleverly
-done; the story was in everybody’s mouth; but
-nobody could tell where it had come from.’</p>
-
-<p>The feelings of Madge as she listened to her
-aunt were of a complicated nature: there was
-the painful sympathy evoked by the knowledge
-that it was her own mother who had been so
-wickedly deceived; then it seemed as if the
-events related had happened to some one else;
-and again there was a mysterious sense of awe
-as she recognised how closely the past and the
-present were linked together. Philip was the
-near relation of the man her mother had loved,
-and was to be parted from her on his account
-for an indefinite period.</p>
-
-<p>Who could tell what Fate might lie in this
-coincidence?</p>
-
-<p>She pitied the lovers; and her indignation rose
-to passion at thought of the slanderers who had
-caused them so much misery. Then came confused
-thoughts about her father: he, too, must
-have loved as well as Mr Shield; and he had
-been generous.</p>
-
-<p>Gentle hands were laid upon her bowed head,
-and looking up, she met the tender eyes of Aunt
-Hessy.</p>
-
-<p>‘I have troubled you, child; but I have told
-you this so that you may understand why I
-cannot counsel you to bid Philip stay or go.’</p>
-
-<p>A soft light beamed on Madge’s face; a sweet
-thought filled her heart. She would bid Philip
-go to help and comfort the man her mother had
-loved.</p>
-
-
-<h3>CHAPTER X.—LIGHT AND SHADOW.</h3>
-
-<p>As soon as she found that Madge was calm and
-ready to proceed with the duties of the day,
-Aunt Hessy bustled out to look after the maidens
-in the dairy and the kitchen. The other affairs
-of the house were attended to by Madge assisted
-by Jenny Wodrow, an active girl, who had
-wisely given up straw-plaiting at Luton for
-domestic service at Willowmere.</p>
-
-<p>When clearing the breakfast-table, Madge
-found Miss Hadleigh’s letter, which she had
-forgotten in the new interests and speculations
-excited by her aunt’s communication.</p>
-
-<p>Miss Hadleigh was one of those young ladies
-who fancy that in personal intercourse with
-others dignity is best represented by the assumption
-of a languid air of indifference to everything,
-whilst they compensate themselves for
-this effort by ‘gushing’ over pages of note-paper.
-Of course she began with ‘My dearest Madge:’
-everybody was her ‘dearest;’ and how she found
-a superlative sufficient to mark the degree of
-her regard for her betrothed is a problem in
-the gymnastics of language.</p>
-
-<p>‘You know all about dearest Phil going to
-leave us in about a fortnight or three weeks,
-and goodness only knows when he may come
-home again. Well, we are going to have a <i>little</i>
-dinner-party all to his honour and glory, as
-you would see by the card I have addressed to
-your uncle. Mind, it is a <i>little</i> and very select
-party. There will be nobody present except the
-most intimate and most esteemed friends of the
-Family.’ (Family written with a very large
-capital F.)</p>
-
-<p>‘Now the party cannot be <i>complete</i> without
-you and your dear uncle and aunt; and I write
-this <i>special</i> supplement to the card to implore
-you to keep yourselves free for Tuesday the
-28th, and to tell you that we will take <i>no</i> excuse
-from any of you. Carrie and Bertha want to
-have some friends in after dinner, so that they
-might get up a dance. Of course, in my position
-I do not care for these things now; but to please
-the girls, it might be arranged. Would <i>you</i> like
-it?—because, if you did, that would settle the
-matter at once. We have not told Phil yet,
-because he always makes fun of <i>everything</i> we
-do to try and amuse him. Papa has been consulted,
-and as usual leaves it <i>all</i> to us.—Please
-do write soon, darling, and believe me ever
-yours most affectionately,</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="smcap">Beatrice Hadleigh</span>.’<br />
-</p>
-
-<p>‘<i>P.S.</i>—If you don’t mind, dear, I wish you
-<i>would</i> tell me what colour you are to wear, so
-that I might have something to harmonise with<span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">{85}</span>
-it. We might have a symphony all to ourselves,
-as the æsthetes call it.’</p>
-
-<p>From this it appeared that Philip’s sisters were
-not aware of their father’s desire to keep him at
-home. There would be no difficulty in replying
-to Miss Hadleigh—even to the extent of revealing
-the colour of her dress—when Uncle Dick had
-consented to go.</p>
-
-<p>When the immediate household cares were
-despatched, Madge sat down at her desk to write
-to Mr Hadleigh. She was quite clear about what
-she had to say; but she paused, seeking the
-gentlest way of saying it.</p>
-
-<p>‘<span class="smcap">Dear Mr Hadleigh</span>,’ she began at last, ‘Your
-letter puts a great temptation in my way; and
-I should be glad to avoid doing anything to
-displease you. But your son has given me a
-reason for his going, which leaves him no alternative
-but to go, and me no alternative but to pray
-that he may return safely and well.’</p>
-
-<p>When she had signed and sealed up this brief
-epistle, a mountain seemed to roll off her shoulders;
-her head became clear again: she <i>knew</i> that what
-Philip and her mother would have wished had
-been done. A special messenger was sent off with
-it to Ringsford; for although the distance between
-the two places was only about three miles, the
-letter would not have been delivered until next
-day, had it gone by the ordinary post.</p>
-
-<p class="p2">Mr Hadleigh read these few lines without any
-sign of disappointment. He read them more than
-once, and found in them something so quietly
-decisive, that he would have considered it an
-easier task to conquer Philip in his most obstinate
-mood, than to move this girl one hair’s-breadth
-from her resolve.</p>
-
-<p>He refolded the paper carefully and placed it
-in his pocket. Then he rang the bell.</p>
-
-<p>‘Bid Toomey be ready to drive me over to
-catch the ten o’clock train,’ he said quietly to the
-servant who answered his summons.</p>
-
-<p>‘A pity, a pity,’ he repeated to himself. ‘Fools
-both—they will not accept happiness when it is
-offered them. A pity, a pity.... They will
-have their way.’</p>
-
-<p>The carriage conveyed him to Dunthorpe Station
-in good time for the train; and the train being
-a ‘fast,’ landed him at Liverpool Street Station
-before eleven o’clock.</p>
-
-<p>He walked slowly along Broad Street, a singular
-contrast to the hurry and bustle of the other
-passengers. He was not going in the direction
-of his own offices; and he did not look as if he
-were going on any particular business anywhere.
-He had the air of a man who was taking an
-enforced constitutional, and who by mistake had
-wandered into the city instead of into the
-park.</p>
-
-<p>He turned into Cornhill, and then into Golden
-Alley, which must have obtained its name when
-gold was only known in quartz; for it was a
-dull, gloomy-looking place, with dust-stained
-windows and metal plates up the sides of the
-doorways, so begrimed that it required an effort
-of the sight to decipher the names on them. But
-it was quiet and eminently respectable. Standing
-in Golden Alley, one had the sense of being
-in the midst of steady-going, long-established
-firms, who had no need of outward show to attract
-customers.</p>
-
-<p>Mr Hadleigh halted for a moment at one of
-the doors, and looked at a leaden-like plate,
-bearing the simple inscription, <span class="smcap">Gribble &amp; Co.</span>
-He ascended one flight of stairs, and entered an
-office in which two clerks were busy at their
-desks, whilst a youth at another desk near the
-door was addressing envelopes with the eager
-rapidity of one who is paid so much per thousand.</p>
-
-<p>No one paid any attention to the opening of
-the door.</p>
-
-<p>‘Is Mr Wrentham in?’ inquired Mr Hadleigh.</p>
-
-<p>At the sound of his voice, one of the clerks
-advanced obsequiously.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, sir. He is engaged at present; but I will
-send in your name.’</p>
-
-<p>He knew who the visitor was; and after rapidly
-writing the name on a slip of paper, took it into
-an inner room. Mr Hadleigh glanced over some
-bills which were lying on the counter announcing
-the dates of sailing of a number of A1 clippers
-and first-class screw-steamers to all parts of the
-world.</p>
-
-<p>The clerk reappeared, and with a polite, ‘Will
-you walk in, sir?’ held the door of the inner room
-open till Mr Hadleigh passed in, and then closed
-it.</p>
-
-<p>Mr Wrentham rose from his table, holding out
-his hand. ‘Glad to see you here, Mr Hadleigh—very
-glad. I hope it is business that brings
-you?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes—important business,’ was the answer.</p>
-
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="CURIOUS_ANTIPATHIES_IN_ANIMALS">CURIOUS ANTIPATHIES IN ANIMALS.</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<h3>I. HORSES.</h3>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">My</span> late father-in-law, a physician in extensive
-practice, once possessed a horse named Jack, which
-was celebrated for his many peculiarities and his
-great sagacity. One of his antipathies was a
-decided hatred to one particular melody, the well-known
-Irish air, <i>Drops of Brandy</i>. If any one
-began to whistle or hum this air, Jack would
-instantly show fight by laying his ears back, grinding
-his teeth, biting and kicking, but always
-recovering his good temper when the music ceased.
-No other melody or music of any kind ever affected
-him; you might whistle or sing as long as you
-liked, provided you did not attempt the objectionable
-Irish air. One of the doctor’s nephews
-and Jack were great friends. The lad could do
-almost anything with him; but if he presumed
-to whistle the objectionable melody of Erin, Jack
-would show his displeasure by instantly pulling
-off the lad’s cap and biting it savagely, but never
-attempting the smallest personal injury to the
-boy himself, and always exhibiting his love when
-the sounds ceased; thus saying, as plainly as a
-horse could say: ‘We are great friends, and I
-love you very much; but pray, don’t make that
-odious noise, to which I entertain a very strong
-objection.’</p>
-
-<p>Jack had another and very peculiar antipathy—he
-never would permit anything bulky to be
-carried by his rider. This came out for the first
-time one day when the doctor was going on a
-visit, and having to sleep at his friend’s, intended<span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">{86}</span>
-to take a small handbag with him. On the groom
-handing this up to the doctor, after he was
-mounted, Jack—who had been an attentive
-observer of the whole proceeding by craning his
-head round—at once exhibited his strong displeasure
-by rearing, kicking, buck-jumping, and
-jibing—so utterly unlike his usual steady-going
-ways, that the doctor at once divined the cause,
-and threw the bag down, when Jack became
-perfectly quiet and docile; but instantly, however,
-re-enacting the same scene, when the groom once
-more offered the bag to the doctor. The experiment
-was repeated several times, and always with
-the same singular result; and at length the
-attempt was given up, when Jack trotted off on
-his journey, showing the best of tempers throughout.
-Why he should have exhibited this extraordinary
-dislike to carrying a small handbag, which
-was neither large in size nor heavy in weight, it
-is impossible even to guess.</p>
-
-<p>On another occasion the groom, wishing to bring
-home with him a small sack containing some
-household requisite, thought to lay it across the
-front of his saddle; but Jack was too quick and
-too sharp for him. Instantly rearing, and then
-kicking violently, he threw the groom off on
-one side and the objectionable burden on the
-other. After this, no further attempts were made
-to ruffle the customary serenity of Jack’s rather
-peculiar temper.</p>
-
-<p>The same gentleman also possessed a beautiful
-bay mare called Jenny, remarkable for her
-sweet temper and pretty loving ways. She was
-a great favourite with the doctor’s daughters, and
-would ‘shake hands’ when asked, and kiss them
-in the most engaging manner, with a sort of
-nibbling motion of her black lips up and down
-the face. She would follow any one she liked
-about the fields, answer to her name like a dog,
-and would always salute any of her favourites
-on seeing them with that pretty low ‘hummering’
-sound so common with pet horses, but never
-heard from those subject to ill-treatment. But,
-with all these graces, the pretty and interesting
-Jenny had several peculiar antipathies, in one
-of which she too somewhat resembled a dog
-Wag (to be noticed in a future article), and that
-was a marked dislike to the singing voice of
-one particular person, a lady, a relative of the
-doctor’s. This lady often went to the stable to
-feed Jenny with lettuces or apples, and they
-were always the best of friends; but so sure as
-she began to sing anything, Jenny instantly forgot
-her good manners, lost all propriety, and exhibited
-the usual signs of strong equine displeasure,
-although she never took the smallest notice of
-the singing or whistling of any other person,
-treating it apparently with indifference. One
-day, as the doctor was driving this lady out, he
-suggested, by way of experiment, that she should
-begin to sing. In a moment, Jenny’s ears were
-down flat, and a great kick was delivered with
-hearty goodwill on to the front of the carriage;
-and more would doubtless have followed, had
-not the lady prudently stopped short in her
-vocal efforts; when Jenny was herself again, and
-resumed her usual good behaviour.</p>
-
-<p>Another and very remarkable peculiarity of
-Jenny’s was her unaccountable antipathy to the
-doctor’s wife. If that lady approached her, she
-would grind her teeth savagely, and try to bite
-her in the most spiteful manner. What is perhaps
-even more singular, she would never, if
-possible, let the lady get into the carriage, if she
-knew it. Jenny would turn her head, and keep
-a lookout behind her, in the drollest manner
-possible; and the moment she caught sight of the
-lady approaching the carriage for the purpose of
-getting in, Jenny would immediately commence
-her troublesome tantrums of biting and kicking.
-So strongly did she object to drawing her mistress,
-that more than once she damaged the carriage
-with her powerful heels, so that the doctor was
-obliged to request his wife to approach the carriage
-from behind, whilst a groom held Jenny’s
-head, to prevent her looking round. Even this
-was not always sufficient; for if the lady talked
-or laughed, Jenny would actually recognise her
-voice, and the usual ‘scene’ would be forthwith
-enacted. Now, the most singular part of this
-story is, that this lady was, like all her family, a
-genuine lover of all animals, especially horses.
-She was very fond of Jenny, and had tried in
-every way to make friends with her, and therefore
-her dislike to her mistress was all the more unaccountable,
-as there was not a shadow of cause for
-it. We can all understand dislike on the part of
-any animal where there has been any sort of ill-usage;
-but it is wholly inexplicable when nothing
-but love and kindness has been invariably practised
-towards that animal.</p>
-
-<p>Jenny I am afraid was a great pet, and like
-all pets, was full of fads and fancies. One of these
-was certainly peculiar. Not far from the doctor’s
-residence there was a particular gate opening into
-a field. As soon as Jenny came near this gate,
-she would commence her tantrums, rearing, kicking,
-plunging, jibing, and altogether declining to
-pass it; and it was not until after the exercise
-of a great amount of patience and perseverance,
-by repeatedly leading her—after much opposition—up
-to the gate and making her see it and smell
-it—thereby proving to her that it would do her
-no harm—that at length she was brought to pass
-it quietly and without notice. What could have
-occasioned this strange antipathy to one particular
-gate, it is impossible to guess, for, until she came
-into the doctor’s possession, she had never been
-in that part of the county, and therefore could
-have had no unpleasant recollections of this gate
-in any way. It is, however, possible that the
-gate in question might have strongly resembled
-some other gate elsewhere with which were
-associated disagreeable memories; for I well
-remember that, some years ago, I often rode
-a fine young mare which had only recently
-come from Newmarket, where she had been
-trained. At first, she could never be induced
-to go down Rotten Row without a great deal of
-shying, jibing, and rearing, and other signs of
-resistance and displeasure. And this was subsequently
-explained by the fact, that the place
-where she was trained and exercised at Newmarket
-was a long road with a range of posts
-and rails, closely resembling Rotten Row; and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">{87}</span>
-doubtless the mare was under the impression that
-this was either the same place, or that she was
-about to be subjected to the same severe training
-which she had undergone at Newmarket; hence
-her determined opposition.</p>
-
-<p>One more trait of Jenny’s odd antipathies must
-be mentioned before I conclude, and that was her
-fixed aversion to men of the working peasant class.
-She would never let such a man hold her by the
-bridle, or even approach her, without trying to
-bite him, and jerking her head away with every
-sign of anger and aversion whilst he stood near.
-But she never exhibited any feelings of dislike
-to well-dressed, clean, comfortable-looking persons,
-who might have done almost anything with her,
-and with whom she would ‘shake hands,’ or kiss
-in the gentlest possible manner. Of a truth,
-Jenny was certainly unique in her odd fancies
-and peculiar behaviour in every way; a singular
-mixture of good and evil—a spiteful, vindictive
-temper on the one hand, combined with the utmost
-affection and docility on the other.</p>
-
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="TWO_DAYS_IN_A_LIFETIME">TWO DAYS IN A LIFETIME.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class="ph3">A STORY IN EIGHT CHAPTERS.</p>
-
-
-<h3>CHAPTER VI.</h3>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Five</span> minutes later, Miss Brandon burst into
-the room in her usual impulsive fashion. Lady
-Dimsdale was standing at one of the windows.
-It was quite enough for Elsie to find there was
-some one to talk to—more especially when that
-some one was Lady Dimsdale, whom she looked
-upon as the most charming woman in the world.
-At once she began to rattle on after her usual
-fashion. ‘Thank goodness, those hateful exercises
-are over for to-day. Dulce et decorum est pro
-patria mori. Arma virumque cano. How I do
-detest Latin! My grandmother didn’t know
-a word of it, and she was the most delightful
-old lady I ever knew. Besides, where’s the use
-of it? When Charley and I are married, I can’t
-talk to him in Latin—nor even to the butcher’s
-boy, nor the fishmonger. Perhaps, if I were to
-speak to my poodle in dog-Latin, he might understand
-me.’ Then, with a sudden change of
-manner, she said: ‘Dear Lady Dimsdale, what
-is the matter?’ for Laura had turned, and the
-traces of tears were still visible around her eyes.
-‘Why, I do believe you have been’——</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, crying—that’s the only word for it,’
-answered Laura with a smile.</p>
-
-<p>‘Do tell me what it is. Nothing serious?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Nothing more serious than the last chapter
-of a foolish love-story.’ She had taken up a
-book instinctively.</p>
-
-<p>‘I’m awfully glad it’s nothing worse. Love-stories
-that make one cry are delicious. I always
-feel better after a good cry.’ Her sharp eyes were
-glancing over the title of the book in Lady
-Dimsdale’s hand. ‘“Buchan’s <i>Domestic Medicine</i>,”’
-she read out aloud. ‘Dear Lady Dimsdale, surely
-this is not the book that’—— She was suddenly
-silent. The room had a bow-window, the casement
-of which stood wide open this sunny
-morning. Elsie had heard voices on the terrace
-outside. ‘That’s dear old nunky’s voice,’ she
-said. ‘And—yes—no—I do believe it is though!’
-She crossed to the window and peeped out from
-behind the curtains.</p>
-
-<p>Stumping slowly along the terrace, assisted by
-his thick Malacca, came Captain Bowood. By
-his side marched a dark-bearded military-looking
-inspector of police, dressed in the regulation blue
-braided frock-coat and peaked cap. They were
-engaged in earnest conversation.</p>
-
-<p>‘An inspector of police! What can be the
-matter? I do believe they are coming here.’
-So spoke Elsie; but when she looked round,
-expecting a response, she found herself alone.
-Lady Dimsdale had slipped out of the room.</p>
-
-<p>The voices came nearer. Elsie seated herself
-at the table, opened a book, ruffled her hair, and
-pretended to be poring over her lessons.</p>
-
-<p>The door opened, and Captain Bowood, followed
-by the inspector, entered the room. ‘Pheugh!
-Enough to frizzle a nigger,’ ejaculated the former,
-as he mopped his forehead with his yellow
-bandana handkerchief. Then perceiving Elsie,
-he said, as he pinched one of her ears, ‘Ha,
-Poppet, you here?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, nunky; and dreadfully puzzled I am.
-I want to find out in what year the Great
-Pyramid was built. Do, please, tell me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ha, ha!—Listen to that, Mr Inspector.—If
-you had asked me the distance from here to
-New York, now. Great Pyramid, eh?’</p>
-
-<p>The inspector, pencil and notebook in hand,
-was examining the fastenings of the window.
-‘Very insecure, Captain Bowood,’ he said; ‘very
-insecure indeed. A burglar would make short
-work of them.’</p>
-
-<p>Miss Brandon was eying him furtively. There
-was a puzzled look on her face. ‘I could almost
-swear it was Charley’s voice; and yet’——</p>
-
-<p>‘Come, come; you’ll frighten us out of our
-wits, if you talk like that,’ answered the Captain.</p>
-
-<p>‘Many burglaries in this neighbourhood of
-late,’ remarked the inspector sententiously.</p>
-
-<p>‘Just so, just so.’ This was said a little
-uneasily.</p>
-
-<p>‘Best to warn you in time, sir.’</p>
-
-<p>‘O Charley, you naughty, naughty boy!’
-remarked Miss Brandon under her breath. ‘Even
-I did not know him at first.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But if Mr Burglar chooses to pay us a visit,
-who’s to hinder him?’ asked the Captain.</p>
-
-<p>The inspector shrugged his shoulders and
-smiled an inscrutable smile.</p>
-
-<p>‘You don’t mean to say that they intend to
-pay us a visit to-night? Come now.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Every reason to believe so, Captain.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But, confound it! how do you know all
-this?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Secret information. Know many things. Mrs
-Bowood keeps her jewel-case in top left-hand
-drawer in her dressing-room. Know that.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Bless my heart! How did you find that out?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Secret information. Gold chronometer with
-inscription on it hidden away at the bottom of
-your writing-desk. Know that.’</p>
-
-<p>‘How the’——</p>
-
-<p>‘Secret information.’</p>
-
-<p>‘O Charley, Charley, you artful darling!’—this
-<i>sotto voce</i> from Miss Brandon.</p>
-
-<p>The Captain looked bewildered, as well he
-might. ‘This is really most wonderful,’ he said.
-‘But about those rascals who, you say, are going
-to visit us to-night?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Give ’em a warm reception, Captain. Leave
-that to me.’</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">{88}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, yes. Warm reception. Good. Have
-some of your men in hiding, eh, Mr Inspector?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Half a dozen of ’em, Captain.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Just so, just so. And I’ll be in hiding too.
-I’ve a horse-pistol up-stairs nearly as long as my
-arm.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Shan’t need that, sir.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No good having a horse-pistol if one doesn’t
-make use of it now and then.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Half-a-dozen men—three inside the house, and
-three out,’ remarked the inspector as he wrote
-down the particulars in his book.</p>
-
-<p>‘And I’ll make the seventh—don’t forget
-that!’ cried the Captain, looking as fierce as some
-buccaneer of bygone days. ‘If there’s one among
-the burglars more savage than the rest, leave him
-for me to tackle.’</p>
-
-<p>‘My poor, dear nunky, if you only knew!’
-murmured Elsie under her breath.</p>
-
-<p>‘Perhaps I had better lend you a pair of these,
-Captain; they might prove useful in a scuffle,’
-remarked the inspector as he produced a pair of
-handcuffs from the tail-pocket of his coat. ‘The
-simplest bracelets in the world. The easiest to
-get on, and the most difficult to get off—till you
-know how. Allow me. This is how it’s done.
-What could be more simple?’</p>
-
-<p>Nothing apparently could be more simple,
-seeing that, before Captain Bowood knew what had
-happened, he found himself securely handcuffed.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ha, ha—just so. Queer sensation—very,’ he
-exclaimed, turning redder in the face than usual.
-‘But I don’t care how soon you take them off,
-Mr Inspector.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No hurry, Captain, no hurry.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Confound you! what do you mean by no
-hurry? What’—— But here the Captain came
-to a sudden stop.</p>
-
-<p>The inspector’s black wig and whiskers had
-vanished, and the laughingly impudent features
-of his peccant nephew were revealed to his
-astonished gaze.</p>
-
-<p>‘Good-afternoon, my dear uncle. This is the
-second time to-day that I have had the pleasure
-of seeing you.’ Then he called: ‘Elsie, dear!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Here I am, Charley,’ came in immediate
-response.</p>
-
-<p>‘Come and kiss me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, Charley.’ And with that Miss Brandon
-rose from her chair, and with a slightly heightened
-colour and the demurest air possible, came down
-the room and allowed her lover to lightly touch
-her lips with his. It was a pretty picture.</p>
-
-<p>‘What—what! Why—why,’ spluttered the
-Captain. For a little while words seemed to
-desert him.</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear uncle, pray, <i>pray</i>, do not allow
-yourself to get quite so red in the face; at your
-time of life you really alarm me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You—you vile young jackanapes! You—you
-cockatrice!—And you, miss, you shall smart for
-this. I’ll—I’ll—— Oh!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Patience, good uncle; prithee, patience.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Patience! O for a good horsewhip!’</p>
-
-<p>‘When I called upon you this morning, sir,’
-resumed Charles the imperturbable, ‘I left unsaid
-the most important part of that which I had
-come to say; it therefore became needful that
-I should see you again.’</p>
-
-<p>‘O for a horsewhip! Are you going to take
-these things off me, or are you not?’</p>
-
-<p>‘The object of my second visit, sir, is to inform
-you that Miss Brandon and I are engaged to be
-married, and to beg of you to give us your consent
-and blessing, and make two simple young creatures
-happy.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Handcuffed like a common poacher on his way
-to jail! Oh, when once I get free!’</p>
-
-<p>‘We have made up our minds to get married;
-haven’t we, Elsie?’</p>
-
-<p>‘We have—or else to die together,’ replied
-Miss Brandon, as she struck a little tragic
-attitude.</p>
-
-<p>‘Think over what I have said, my dear uncle,
-and accord us your consent.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Or our deaths will lie at your door.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Every night as the clock struck twelve, you
-would see us by your side.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You would never more enjoy your rum-and-water
-and your pipe.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I should tickle your ear with a ghostly feather,
-and wake you in the middle of your first sleep.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I shall go crazy—crazy!’ spluttered the
-Captain. He would have stamped his foot, only
-he was afraid of the gout.</p>
-
-<p>‘Not quite, sir, I hope,’ replied young Summers,
-with a sudden change of manner; and next
-moment, and without any action of his own in
-the matter, the Captain found himself a free
-man. The first thing he did was to make a
-sudden grasp at his cane; but Elsie was too
-quick for him, or it might have fared ill with
-her sweetheart.</p>
-
-<p>Master Charley laughed. ‘I am sorry, my
-dear uncle, to have to leave you now; but time
-is pressing. You will not forget what I have
-said, I feel sure. I shall look for your answer to
-my request in the course of three or four days;
-or would you prefer, sir, that I should wait upon
-you for it in person?’</p>
-
-<p>‘If you ever dare to set foot inside my door
-again, I’ll—I’ll spiflicate you—yes, sir, spiflicate
-you!’</p>
-
-<p>‘To what a terrible fate you doom me, good
-my lord!—Come, Elsie, you may as well walk
-with me through the shrubbery.’</p>
-
-<p>Miss Brandon going up suddenly to Captain
-Bowood, flung her arms round his neck and
-kissed him impulsively. ‘You dear, crusty,
-cantankerous, kind-hearted old thing, I can’t
-help loving you!’ she cried.</p>
-
-<p>‘Go along, you baggage. As bad as he is—every
-bit. Go along.’</p>
-
-<p>‘<i>Au revoir</i>, uncle,’ said Mr Summers with his
-most courtly stage bow. ‘We shall meet again—at
-Philippi.’</p>
-
-<p>A moment later, Captain Bowood found himself
-alone. ‘There’s impudence!’ he exclaimed. ‘It’s
-worse than that; it’s cheek—downright cheek.
-Never bamboozled like it before. Handcuffed!
-What an old nincompoop I must have looked!
-Good thing Sir Frederick or any of the others
-didn’t see me. I should never have heard the
-last of it.’ With that, the last trace of ill-humour
-vanished, and he burst into a hearty, sailor-like
-guffaw. ‘Just the sort of trick I should have
-gloried in when I was a young spark!’ He rose
-from his chair, took his cane in his hand, and
-limped as far as the window, his gout being rather
-troublesome this afternoon. ‘So, so. There they
-go, arm in arm. Who would have thought of
-Don Carlos falling in love with Miss Saucebox?<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">{89}</span>
-But I don’t know that he could do better. She’s
-a good girl—a little flighty just now; but that
-will cure itself by-and-by—and she will have
-a nice little property when she comes of age.
-Must pretend to set my face against it, though,
-and that will be sure to make them fonder of
-one another. Ha, ha! we old sea-dogs know a
-thing or two.’ And with that the Captain winked
-confidentially to himself two or three times and
-went about his business.</p>
-
-<p class="p2">When Sir Frederick Pinkerton followed Mrs
-Bowood and Mrs Boyd out of the room where
-the interview had taken place, and left Lady
-Dimsdale sitting there alone, he quitted the house
-at once, and sauntered in his usual gingerly
-fashion through the flower-garden to an unfrequented
-part of the grounds known as the
-Holly Walk, where there was not much likelihood
-of his being interrupted. Like Lady Dimsdale, he
-wanted to be alone. Just then, he had much to
-occupy his thoughts. To and fro he paced the
-walk slowly and musingly, his hands behind his
-back, his eyes bent on the ground.</p>
-
-<p>‘What tempts me to do this thing?’ he asked
-himself, not once, but several times. ‘That I
-dislike the man is quite certain; why, then, take
-upon myself to interfere between this woman and
-him? Certainly I have nothing to thank Oscar
-Boyd for; why, then, mix myself up in a matter
-that concerns me no more than it concerns the
-man in the moon? If he had not appeared on
-the scene just when he did, I might perhaps have
-won Lady Dimsdale for my wife. But now? Too
-late—too late! Even when he and this woman
-shall have gone their way, he will live in my
-lady’s memory, never probably to be forgotten.
-He is her hero of romance. That he made love
-to her in years gone by, when they were young
-together, there is little doubt; that he made love
-to her again this morning, and met with no such
-rebuff as I did, seems equally clear; and though
-she knows now that he can never become her
-husband, yet she on her side will never forget
-him. In what way, then, am I called upon to
-interfere in his affairs? Should I not be a fool
-for my pains? And yet to let that woman claim
-him as her own, when a word from me would—— No!
-<i>Noblesse oblige.</i> What should I think of
-myself in years to come, if I were to permit this
-man’s life to be blasted by so cruel a fraud? The
-thought would hardly be a pleasant one on one’s
-deathbed.’ He shrugged his shoulders, and went
-on slowly pacing the Holly Walk. At length he
-raised his head and said half aloud: ‘I will do
-it, and at once; but it shall be on my own
-conditions, Lady Dimsdale—on my own conditions.’</p>
-
-<p>There was a gardener at work some distance
-away. He called the man to him, and sent him
-with a message to the house. Ten minutes later,
-Lady Dimsdale entered the Holly Walk.</p>
-
-<p>Sir Frederick approached her with one of his
-most elaborate bows.</p>
-
-<p>‘You wish to see me, Sir Frederick?’ she said
-inquiringly, but a little doubtfully. She hoped
-that he was not about to re-open the subject
-that had been discussed between them earlier in
-the day.</p>
-
-<p>‘I have taken the liberty of asking you to
-favour me with your company for a few minutes—here,
-where we shall be safe from interruption.
-The matter I am desirous of consulting you upon
-admits of no delay.’</p>
-
-<p>She bowed, but said nothing. His words
-reassured her on one point, while filling her
-with a vague uneasiness. The sunshade she held
-over her head was lined with pink; it served its
-purpose in preventing the Baronet from detecting
-how pale and wan was the face under it.</p>
-
-<p>They began to pace the walk slowly side by
-side.</p>
-
-<p>‘Equally with others, Lady Dimsdale, you are
-aware that, by a strange turn of fortune, Mr Boyd’s
-wife, whom he believed to have been dead for
-several years, has this morning reappeared?’</p>
-
-<p>‘You were in the parlour, Sir Frederick, when
-I was introduced to Mrs Boyd only half an hour
-ago.’ She answered him coldly and composedly
-enough; but he could not tell how her heart was
-beating.</p>
-
-<p>‘Strangely enough, I happened to be in New
-Orleans about the time of Mr Boyd’s marriage,
-and I know more about the facts of that unhappy
-affair than he has probably told to any one in
-England. It is enough to say that the reappearance
-of this woman is the greatest misfortune that
-could have happened to him. Oscar Boyd was
-a miserable man before he parted from her—he
-will be ten times more miserable in years to
-come.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You have not asked me to meet you here,
-Sir Frederick, in order to tell me this?’</p>
-
-<p>‘This, and something more, Lady Dimsdale.
-Listen!’ He laid one finger lightly on the sleeve
-of his companion’s dress, as if to emphasise her
-attention. ‘I happen to be acquainted with a
-certain secret—it matters not how it came into
-my possession—the telling of which—and it could
-be told in half-a-dozen words—would relieve Mr
-Boyd of this woman at once and for ever, would
-make a free man of him, as free to marry as in
-those old days when he used to haunt that
-vicarage garden which I too remember so well!’</p>
-
-<p>Lady Dimsdale stopped in her walk and stared
-at him with wide-open eyes. ‘You—possess—a
-secret that could do all this!’</p>
-
-<p>‘I have stated no more than the simple truth.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Then Mr Boyd is not this woman’s husband?’
-The question burst from her lips swiftly, impetuously.
-Next moment her eyes fell and a tell-tale
-blush suffused her cheeks. But here again the
-pink-lined sunshade came to her rescue.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mr Boyd is the husband of no other woman,’
-answered the Baronet drily.</p>
-
-<p>‘With what object have you made <i>me</i> the
-recipient of this confidence, Sir Frederick?’</p>
-
-<p>‘That I will presently explain. You are
-probably aware that Mr Boyd leaves for London
-by the next train?’</p>
-
-<p>Lady Dimsdale bowed.</p>
-
-<p>‘So that if my information is to be made available
-at all, no time must be lost.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I still fail to see why—— But that does not
-matter. As you say, there is no time to lose.
-You will send for Mr Boyd at once, Sir Frederick.
-You are a generous-minded man, and you will
-not fail to reveal to him a secret which so nearly
-affects the happiness of his life.’ She spoke to
-him appealingly, almost imploringly.</p>
-
-<p>He smiled a coldly disagreeable smile. ‘Pardon
-me, Lady Dimsdale, but generosity is one of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">{90}</span>
-those virtues which I have never greatly cared
-to cultivate. Had I endeavoured to do so, the
-soil would probably have proved barren, and the
-results not worth the trouble. In any case, I
-have never tried. I am a man of the world,
-that, and nothing more.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But this secret, Sir Frederick—as between
-man and man, as between one gentleman and
-another—you will not keep it to yourself? You
-will not. No! I cannot believe that of you.’</p>
-
-<p>He lifted his hat for a moment. ‘Lady Dimsdale
-flatters me.’ Then he glanced at his watch.
-‘Later even than I thought. This question must
-be decided at once, or not at all. Lady Dimsdale,
-I am willing to reveal my secret to Mr Boyd on
-one condition—and on one only.’</p>
-
-<p>For a moment she hesitated, being still utterly
-at a loss to imagine why the Baronet had taken
-her so strangely into his confidence. Then she
-said: ‘May I ask what the condition in question
-is, Sir Frederick?’</p>
-
-<p>‘It was to tell it to you that I asked you to
-favour me with your presence here. Lady Dimsdale,
-my one condition is this: That when this
-man—this Mr Oscar Boyd—shall be free to marry
-again, as he certainly will be when my secret
-becomes known to him—you shall never consent
-to become his wife, and that you shall never
-reveal to him the reason why you decline to
-do so.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh! This to me! Sir Frederick Pinkerton,
-you have no right to assume—— Nothing,
-nothing can justify this language!’</p>
-
-<p>He thought he had never seen her look so
-beautiful as she looked at that moment, with
-flashing eyes, heaving bosom, and burning
-cheeks.</p>
-
-<p>He bowed and spread out his hands deprecatingly.
-‘Pardon me, but I have assumed nothing—nothing
-whatever. I have specified a certain
-condition as the price of my secret. Call that
-condition a whim—the whim of an eccentric
-elderly gentleman, who, having no wife to keep
-him within the narrow grooves of common-sense,
-originates many strange ideas at times. Call it
-by what name you will, Lady Dimsdale, it still
-remains what it was. To apply a big word to a
-very small affair—you have heard my ultimatum.’
-He glanced at his watch again. ‘I shall be in
-the library for the next quarter of an hour. One
-word from you—Yes or No—and I shall know
-how to act. On that one word hangs the future
-of your friend, Mr Oscar Boyd.’ He saluted her
-with one of his most ceremonious bows, and then
-turned and walked slowly away.</p>
-
-<p>There was a garden-seat close by, and to this
-Lady Dimsdale made her way. She was torn
-by conflicting emotions. Indignation, grief,
-wonder, curiosity, each and all held possession of
-her. ‘Was ever a woman forced into such a
-cruel position before?’ she asked herself. ‘What
-can this secret be? Is that woman not his wife?
-Yet Oscar recognised her as such the moment he
-set eyes on her. Can it be possible that she had
-a husband living when he married her, and that
-Sir Frederick is aware of the fact? It is all a
-mystery. Oh, how cruel, how cruel of Sir
-Frederick to force me into this position! What
-right has he to assume that even if Oscar were
-free to-morrow, he would—— And yet—— Oh,
-it is hard—hard! Why has this task been laid
-upon me? He will be free, and yet he must
-never know by what means. But whose happiness
-ought I to think of first—his or my own? His—a
-thousand times his! There is but one answer
-possible, and Sir Frederick knows it. He understands
-a woman’s heart. I must decide at once—now.
-There is not a moment to lose. But one
-answer.’ Her eyes were dry, although her heart
-was full of anguish. Tears would find their way
-later on.</p>
-
-<p>She quitted her seat, and near the end of the
-walk she found the same gardener that the
-Baronet had made use of. She beckoned the man
-to her, and as she slipped a coin into his hand,
-said to him: ‘Go to Sir Frederick Pinkerton,
-whom you will find in the library, and say to
-him that Lady Dimsdale’s answer is “Yes.”’</p>
-
-<p>The man scratched his head and stared at her
-open-mouthed; so, for safety’s sake, she gave him
-the message a second time. Then he seemed
-to comprehend, and touching his cap, set off at
-a rapid pace in the direction of the house.</p>
-
-<p>Lady Dimsdale took the same way slowly,
-immersed in bitter thoughts. ‘Farewell, Oscar,
-farewell!’ her heart kept repeating to itself. ‘Not
-even when you are free, must you ever learn
-the truth.’</p>
-
-
-<p class="p2">Meanwhile, Mrs Boyd, after lunching heartily
-with kind, chatty Mrs Bowood to keep her company,
-and after arranging her toilet, had gone
-back to the room in which her husband had left
-her, and from which he had forbidden her to
-stir till his return. She was somewhat surprised
-not to find him there, but quite content to wait
-till he should think it well to appear. There was
-a comfortable-looking couch in the room, and
-after a hearty luncheon on a warm day, forty
-winks seem to follow as a natural corollary; at
-least that was Estelle’s view of the present state of
-affairs. But before settling down among the soft
-cushions of the couch, she went up to the glass
-over the chimney-piece, and taking a tiny box
-from her pocket, opened it, and, with the swan’s-down
-puff which she found therein, just dashed
-her cheeks with the faintest possible <i>soupçon</i> of
-Circassian Bloom, and then half rubbed it off with
-her handkerchief.</p>
-
-<p>‘A couple of glasses of champagne would have
-saved me the need of doing this; but your cold
-thin claret has neither soul nor fire in it,’ she
-remarked to herself. ‘How comfortable these
-English country-houses are. I should like to stay
-here for a month. Only the people are so very
-good and, oh! so very stupid, that I know I
-should tire of them in a day or two, and say
-or do something that would make them fling
-up their hands in horror.’ She yawned, gave
-a last glance at herself, and then went and sat
-down on the couch. As she was re-arranging
-the pillows, she found a handkerchief under one
-of them. She pounced on it in a moment. In
-one corner was a monogram. She read the letters,
-‘L. D.,’ aloud. ‘My Lady Dimsdale’s, without
-a doubt,’ she said. ‘Damp, too. She has been
-crying for the loss of her darling Oscar.’ She
-dropped the handkerchief with a sneer and set
-her foot on it. ‘How sweet it is to have one’s
-rival under one’s feet—sweeter still, when you
-know that she loves him and you don’t! Lady
-Dimsdale will hardly care to let Monsieur Oscar<span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">{91}</span>
-kiss her again. He is going away on a long
-journey with his wife—with his wife, ha, ha!
-Fools! If they only knew!’ The echo of her
-harsh, unwomanly laugh had scarcely died away,
-when the door opened, and the man of whom she
-had been speaking stood before her.</p>
-
-<p>After bidding farewell to Lady Dimsdale, Mr
-Boyd had plunged at once into a lonely part
-of the grounds, where he would be able to recover
-himself in some measure, unseen by any one.
-Of a truth, he was very wretched. It seemed
-almost impossible to believe that one short hour—nay,
-even far less than that—should have sufficed
-to plunge him from the heights of felicity into the
-lowest depths of misery. Yet, so it was; and
-thus, alas, it is but too often in this world of
-unstable things. But the necessity for action
-was imminent upon him; there would be time
-enough hereafter for thinking and suffering. A
-few minutes sufficed to enable him to lock down
-his feelings beyond the guess or ken of others,
-and then he went in search of Captain Bowood.
-He found his host and Mrs Bowood together. The
-latter was telling her husband all about her recent
-interview with Mrs Boyd. The mistress of Rosemount
-had never had a bird of such strange
-plumage under her roof before, and had rarely
-been so puzzled as she was to-day. That this
-woman was a lady, Mrs Bowood’s instincts declined
-to let her believe; but the fact that she was Mr
-Boyd’s wife seemed to prove that she must be
-something better than an adventuress. The one
-certain fact was, that she was a guest at Rosemount,
-and as such must be made welcome.</p>
-
-<p>When Mr Boyd entered the room, Mrs Bowood
-was at once struck by the change in his appearance.
-She felt instinctively that some great
-calamity had overtaken this man, and her motherly
-heart was touched. Accordingly, when Mr Boyd
-intimated to her and the Captain that it was
-imperatively necessary that he and his wife should
-start for London by the five o’clock train, she
-gave expression to her regret that such a necessity
-should have arisen, but otherwise offered no opposition
-to the proposed step, as, under ordinary
-circumstances, she would have been sure to do.
-In matters such as these, the Captain always
-followed his wife’s lead. Five minutes later,
-Oscar Boyd went in search of his wife.</p>
-
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="IN_ST_PETERS">IN ST PETER’S.</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<p><span class="smcap">To</span> have spent a winter in Rome is so common
-an experience for English people, that it seems
-as if there were nothing new to be said about it,
-nothing out of the ordinary routine to be done
-during its course. We all know we must lodge
-in or near the Piazza di Spagna; must make the
-round of the studios; drive on the Pincio; go
-to the Trinità to hear the nuns sing; have an
-audience of the Holy Father; drink the Trevi
-water; muse in the Colosseum; wander with
-delighted bewilderment through the sculpture-galleries
-of the Vatican; explore the ruins on
-the Palatine; get tickets for the Cercola Artistica;
-attend Sunday vespers at St Peter’s; and
-tire ourselves to death amongst the three hundred
-and odd churches, each one with some special
-attraction, which forbids us to slight it. These
-things are amongst the unwritten laws of travel;
-English, Americans, and Germans are impelled
-alike by a curious instinct of duty to carry them
-out to the letter. In so doing, they jostle one
-another perpetually, see over and over again the
-same faces, hear the same remarks, and alas!
-find only the same ideas. But notwithstanding
-this, there are yet undiscovered corners in the old
-city, and many quaint ceremonies are unknown
-to or overlooked by the <i>forestieri</i>. An account
-of some of these latter may perhaps be found
-interesting.</p>
-
-<p>A few winters ago, we learned, through the
-politeness of a cardinal’s secretary, that certain
-services well worth attending would take place
-in St Peter’s, commencing at about half-past seven
-on the mornings of the Thursday, Friday, and
-Saturday in Holy-week. These were the consecration
-of the chrism used in baptism and the
-oil for extreme unction, the commemoration of
-the death and passion of our Lord, and the
-kindling of the fire for lighting the lamps extinguished
-on Holy-Thursday. As no public notice
-is given of the hours of these ceremonies, we were
-glad of the information.</p>
-
-<p>The ‘functions’ formerly conducted in the Sistine
-Chapel were transferred some years ago to
-the Capello Papale, which is in St Peter’s, the
-third chapel on the left-hand side of the nave.
-It is extremely small and inconvenient, being
-almost entirely taken up with stalls for the
-cardinals, bishops, canons, and vicars lay and
-choral. The pope’s own choir always sing here,
-but are assembled in full strength only on festivals;
-then, however, their exquisite unaccompanied
-singing is well worth hearing, and in the
-year of which we speak, the soprani and alti were
-specially good. On Holy-Thursday there is scarcely
-any cessation of worship in the great church all
-day; and at 7.30 <span class="allsmcap">A.M.</span> we are barely in time to
-watch the assembling of the functionaries who
-are to assist at the ceremony of the consecration
-of the oil. The chrism used in baptism is composed
-of balsam and oil; and this and the oil for
-holy unction are considered extremely precious;
-bishops and other dignitaries journey long distances
-to procure it, and convey it to their respective
-dioceses and benefices. Their appearance adds
-not a little to the effect of the usual assemblage
-of canons of St Peter’s, for their vestments are
-much more varied in colour; the canons wearing
-always violet silk robes, and gray or white fur
-capes when not officiating; and their soft hue
-makes an excellent background for the brilliant
-scarlet trains of the cardinals, two of whom are
-lighting up the corner stalls with their crimson
-magnificence.</p>
-
-<p>A number of seats take up the space in the
-middle of the chapel, and are arranged in a square,
-having a table in the centre. The choir presently
-commence singing a Latin hymn, and a glittering
-procession of canons and heads of orders enters;
-they take their places in the square; the chalices
-with the oil and the balsam of the chrism are
-placed on the table, and the officiating cardinal
-begins the ceremony. He is an exceedingly handsome
-man, very tall, with clearly cut features,
-and walks in a magnificent fashion; his great
-white silk cope, stiff with its embroidery of gold,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">{92}</span>
-silver, and precious stones, seems no encumbrance
-to him, and he looks a fitting president for this
-august meeting. The cardinal blesses the first of
-the chalices presented to him, saying the words
-of benediction in clear distinct tones, the singing
-meanwhile continuing softly while he lays his
-hands on all the cups placed before him. Then
-the choir cease, and each cardinal, bishop, priest,
-and canon kneels in turn before the table, saying
-three times, ‘Ave sancta chrisma.’ The sounds
-of the different voices in which the words are
-said, as their various old, young, short, tall, fat,
-or thin owners pronounce them, have a somewhat
-odd effect, and it is a relief when the lovely singing
-is resumed, while the cardinal’s clear tones pronounce
-blessings on the oil for extreme unction.
-After this, the same ceremony is repeated, except
-that the words three times said are, ‘Ave sanctum
-oleum.’ As there are at least one hundred and
-thirty persons to perform this act of devotion,
-the service becomes a little tedious; and if it were
-not for the novelty, the exquisite singing, and the
-wonderful effects of light and colour in the glowing
-morning atmosphere, we should not have been
-surprised at the absence of our compatriots; but
-there is a sense of freshness and strangeness in
-the service which makes us wonder the chapel
-is not crowded. The small congregation consists
-of flower-sellers, women in black veils—who
-always belong to the middle classes—beggars, and
-shopkeepers from the long street leading to St
-Peter’s. The magnificent gathering of officiating
-priests makes the smallness of the attendance more
-noticeable.</p>
-
-<p>After the consecration service, a mass is celebrated,
-and during the <i>Gloria in excelsis</i>, the bells
-are rung for the last time till Saturday.</p>
-
-<p>No mass is sung on Good-Friday; therefore, two
-hosts are consecrated on Holy-Thursday, one of
-which is placed in a magnificent jewelled pyx,
-and carried in procession to a niche beneath an
-altar in a side-chapel; the beautiful hymn, <i>Pange
-lingua</i>, being sung the while. The niche is called
-a ‘sepulchre,’ and is covered with gold and silver
-ornaments, and glitters with candles. All coverings
-are removed from the altars, and all lights
-put out on this day, the next ceremony to the
-mass being that of stripping and washing the
-high-altar. The bare marble of the great table
-is exposed, and those who have taken part in
-the earlier ‘functions,’ walk in procession, and
-stand in a circle round it; acolytes carrying purple
-glass bottles pour on it something that smells like
-vinegar; and each dignitary, being provided with
-a tiny brush made of curled shavings, goes in turn
-to sweep the surface, places his brush on a tray,
-takes a sponge, with which he rubs the marble,
-and finally replaces that by a napkin, with which
-it is dried. By this time the morning is well on;
-the worshippers and onlookers in the great church
-are many; but there is no crowding or pushing.
-As the space is so vast, that all who wish can see,
-a few of the functionaries who keep order are
-quite enough to make things go easily.</p>
-
-<p>At all these services, we are much impressed
-by the extreme ease with which everything is
-conducted. There is a ‘master of ceremonies,’ and
-he, one fancies, must have held rehearsals; for
-from the officiating cardinal to the smallest
-acolyte, no one ever moves at the wrong time,
-or steps into the wrong place; yet the marching
-and counter-marching, the handing, giving,
-placing, taking, involved in such an elaborate
-ceremonial must require nice and careful arrangement
-and extreme foresight. The dresses of the
-priests who assist at these functions are violet
-cassocks, and very short surplices edged with lace,
-plaited into folds of minute patterns, involving
-laundry-work of no mean description. Other
-priests, and all bishops and monsignore, wear the
-same coloured cassocks, but with the addition of
-red pipings on cuffs and collars and fronts.</p>
-
-<p>The function of the ‘washing of the altar’
-being ended, there is a pause; and one cannot
-but imagine that the cardinal retires to the great
-sacristy with a feeling of relief that the pageant
-is over for the time. The procession winds away
-to the left, and disappears through the gray marble
-doors of the sacristy; and we go home to lunch,
-feeling as if we had been spending a morning
-with our ancestors of three centuries back. The
-doings of the last four or five hours do not
-seem to agree with the appearance of the Via
-Babuino as our old coachman rattles us up to
-the door of our lodgings.</p>
-
-<p>In the afternoon, we are again in St Peter’s;
-this time, to find it almost crowded. At
-three, the ‘holy relics’ are exposed. These
-are—the handkerchief given by St Veronica
-to the Saviour as He passed on His way to
-the cross, and on which there is said to be the
-impression of His face; the lance with which
-His side was pierced; the head of St Andrew;
-and a portion of the true cross. They are presented
-to the public gaze from a balcony at an
-immense height, on one of the four great buttresses
-which support the dome. There is a rattle of
-small drums, and priests with white vestments
-appear on the balcony, holding up certain magnificent
-jewelled caskets of different shapes, amidst
-the dazzling settings of which it is quite impossible
-to recognise any object in particular. The
-kneeling throng, the vast dim church, the clouds
-of incense, the roll of drums, the sudden appearance
-of the glittering figures on the balcony, their
-disappearance, followed by the noise of the crowds
-as they quickly move and talk, after the dead
-silence during the exposure of the objects of
-veneration, combine to make this a most striking
-and impressive scene. Then, in the Capello
-Papale, follows the service of the Tenebræ, as it
-is called, with the singing of the Lamentations
-and the Miserere. The quietness of the now
-densely packed crowd, the soft music, and the
-glimmer of the few lights left in the dim chapel,
-strike one with a novel effect, after the somewhat
-careless and florid services usually conducted
-here.</p>
-
-<p>Emerging thence, the vast space of the cathedral
-looks larger than ever in the twilight, and the
-brilliant line of lights round the shrine of St
-Peter seem to glitter with double lustre; these,
-however, with all others, are soon extinguished,
-and the great basilica remains in darkness with
-covered crucifixes and stripped altars till Saturday
-morning. The ‘crowd’ as it seemed within the
-small chapel, appears nothing outside, and one
-by one the listeners disappear through the heavy
-leathern curtain that screens the door, finding by
-contrast the great piazza a scene of brilliant light,
-but quiet with what seems a strange stillness in
-the midst of a crowded city.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">{93}</span></p>
-
-<p>On Good-Friday morning we are again in the
-Pope’s Chapel at half-past seven, and are in time
-to see the canons take their places in the stalls.
-Three priests, habited only in black cassock, and
-close surplice with no lace edging, advance to the
-altar and begin the service. The first part of this
-consists simply of a reading in Latin of the whole
-of the chapters from the gospel of St John which
-relate to the passion. The priests take different
-parts: one reads most beautifully the narrative;
-another speaks the words uttered by our Saviour;
-the third, those used by Pilate; and the choir
-repeat the words of the populace. It is startling
-in its simplicity, but wonderfully dramatic;
-the dignified remonstrances of Pilate, and the
-clear elocution of the reader of the history,
-making up an impressive service, not the least
-part of its strangeness consisting in the fact
-of there being no congregation; not a dozen persons
-besides the priests and canons are present
-in the chapel. This ended, the officiating bishop,
-who is clothed in purple vestments embroidered
-with gold, kneels in prayer before the altar,
-while the priests prostrate themselves. The
-bishop then rises; and the choir chant softly in
-a minor key while he takes the crucifix from the
-altar, uncovers it, and holds it up to the people.
-In the afternoon, the relics are exposed, Lamentations
-and Miserere sung after Tenebræ, as on
-the preceding days; but the church is dark,
-bare, and silent.</p>
-
-<p>The gloom of Friday is forgotten in the brilliant
-sunshine of Saturday morning, and we feel
-inspired with the freshness and life of a new
-day, as we once more gain the great steps leading
-to the basilica, watch the rainbow on the
-fountains, and the dancing lights in the waters
-of the large basins in the piazza. The obelisk
-in the centre is tipped with red gold, and the
-clear blue sky makes the figures on the <i>loggia</i>
-and colonnades stand out with lifelike distinctness.
-This morning we are called to join in an
-unquestionable festival, the early ceremonial of
-rekindling the lights being one of the most
-cheerful ‘functions’ in which it is possible to
-participate.</p>
-
-<p>This service commences outside the cathedral;
-and ascending the steps to the <i>loggia</i> or porch,
-we find it already occupied by an imposing array
-of priests and bishops. The handsome cardinal
-again officiates; he is seated with his back to the
-piazza, just within the pillars of the porch, and
-facing the brazen centre-doors of the church.
-In front of him is an enormous brasier, in which
-burns a bright fire of coals, branches, and leaves,
-which has been lighted by a spark struck from
-a flint outside the church. He wears magnificent
-purple and gold vestments; his finely embroidered
-cope and jewelled mitre glitter in the sun.
-Around him are acolytes, some of whom tend
-the fire, while others carry censers; priests,
-canons, and bishops all gorgeously apparelled,
-and performing their parts in the service with
-the usual precision and alacrity. Two priests
-stand with their backs to the great bronze doors;
-one bearing a massive gold cross, the other
-holding a bamboo with a transverse bar on the
-top, and on this are three candles. After some
-chanting, the cardinal rises; and an acolyte fills
-a censer with live coals from the brasier, and
-brings it for benediction; another presents five
-large cones of incense covered with gold; these
-are also blessed and sprinkled with holy-water;
-then incense is put on the hot ashes in the censer;
-and as the smoke ascends, the great bronze doors,
-so rarely unclosed, are thrown open, and the
-procession enters the cathedral. The effect is
-strangely beautiful. The lovely early morning
-light and sunshine, the great building empty of
-living thing, the gorgeous procession throwing a
-line of brilliant colour into the dim soft mist of
-the nave, the choir chanting as the priests walk,
-their voices echoing in the great space—all form
-a combination which must touch the least impressionable
-spectator, and which cannot but be
-photographed on the memory to its smallest detail.
-At the door, there is a pause while one of the
-candles on the bamboo is lighted; a second flame
-is kindled in the nave, and the third at the altar
-in the choir chapel. Thence, light is immediately
-sent to the other churches in Rome, where
-also darkness has reigned since Thursday afternoon.</p>
-
-<p>A venerable canon now ascends a platform, and
-from a very high desk reads some chapters, recites
-prayers, and then lights the great Easter candle
-which stands beside him. This is a huge pillar
-of wax, decorated with beautifully painted wreaths
-of flowers, and is placed in a magnificent silver
-candlestick. He takes the five cones of incense
-which the cardinal had blessed in the porch, and
-fixes them on the candle in the form of a cross.
-During his reading, the candles and lamps all
-over the church are relighted, and when it is
-over, all who formed the procession, bearing
-bouquets of lovely flowers, and small brushes like
-those used on Holy-Thursday, march to the
-baptistery, where the cardinal blesses the font,
-pours on the water in the huge basin chrism and
-oil, and sprinkles water to the four points of the
-compass—typifying the quarters of the globe.</p>
-
-<p>On the return of the procession to the choir
-chapel, the cardinal and others prostrate themselves
-before the altar while some beautiful
-litanies are chanted. Then follows a pause,
-during which the priests retire to the sacristy
-to take off their embroidered vestments. They
-return wearing only surplices edged with handsome
-lace over their cassocks. The cardinal has
-a plain cope of white silk and gold.</p>
-
-<p>After this, is the mass; and at the <i>Gloria</i> the bells
-ring out a grand peal, all pictures are uncovered,
-and the organ is played for the first time during
-many days. The great church resumes its wonted
-cheerful aspect, and light and colour hold again
-their places.</p>
-
-<p>The afternoon ceremonies consist only of a
-procession of the cardinal to worship at special
-altars, the display of the holy relics, and the
-singing of a fine <i>Alleluia</i> and psalm, instead of
-the usual vespers.</p>
-
-<p>Some pause is needed, one feels, before the
-cathedral is filled by the crowds who attend the
-Easter-Sunday mass; for no greater contrast can
-be imagined than that between the scenes of the
-quiet morning functions, with the numerous
-priests and few people, the stillness and peace
-of the hours we have been describing, and those
-enacted by the thronging crowds of foreign sightseers
-at the great festivals, who, pushing, gesticulating,
-standing on tiptoe, and asking irrelevant
-questions in audible voices, seem to look on these<span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">{94}</span>
-sacred services as spectacles devised for their
-gratification, rather than as expressions of the
-worship of a large section of their fellow-creatures;
-thus exemplifying the rapidity with which ignorance
-becomes irreverence.</p>
-
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="AMONG_THE_ADVERTISERS_AGAIN">AMONG THE ADVERTISERS AGAIN.</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Can</span> it ever be said that there is nothing in the
-papers, when advertisers are always to the fore,
-providing matter for admiration, wonder, amusement,
-or speculation? One day a gentleman
-announces the loss of his heart between the stalls
-and boxes of the Haymarket Theatre; the next,
-we have ‘R. N.’ telling ‘Dearest E.’—‘If you
-have the slightest inclination to become first-mate
-on board the screw-steamer, say so, and I will
-ask papa;’ and by-and-by we are trying to guess
-how the necessity arose for the following: ‘St
-James’s Theatre, Friday.—The Gentleman to
-whom a Lady offered her hand, apologises for not
-being able to take it.’</p>
-
-<p>Does any one want two thousand pounds?
-That nice little sum is to be obtained by merely
-introducing a certain New-Yorker to ‘the Pontess;’
-or if he or she be dead, to his or her heirs. ‘There
-is a doubt whether the cognomen was, or is, borne
-by a woman, a man, or a child; if by the last,
-it must have been born prior to the spring of
-1873.’ If the Pontess-seeker fails in his quest
-from not knowing exactly what it is that he
-wants, an advertiser in the <i>Times</i> is likely to
-have the same fortune from knowing, and letting
-those interested know, exactly what it is that he
-does not want. Needing the services of a married
-pair as coachman and cook, this outspoken gentleman
-stipulates that the latter must not grumble
-at her mistress being her own housekeeper; nor
-expect fat joints to be ordered to swell her perquisites;
-nor be imbued with the idea that
-because plenty may be around, she is bound to
-swell the tradesmen’s bills by as much waste as
-possible. ‘No couple need apply that expect the
-work to be put out, are fond of change, or who
-dictate to their employers how much company
-may be kept.’</p>
-
-<p>When two of a trade fall out, they are apt to
-disclose secrets which it were wiser to keep to
-themselves. Disgusted by the success of a rival
-whose advertising boards bore the representation
-of a venerable man sitting cross-legged at his work,
-a San Francisco tailor advertised: ‘Don’t be humbugged
-by hoary-headed patriarchs who picture
-themselves cross-legged, and advertise pants made
-to order, three, four, and five dollars a pair. Do
-you know how it’s done? When you go into one
-of these stores that cover up their shop-windows
-with sample lengths of cassimere, marked “Pants
-to order, three dollars fifty cents and four dollars;”
-after you have made a selection of the piece
-of cloth you want your pants made from, the
-pompous individual who is chief engineer of the
-big tailor shears, lays them softly on the smoothest
-part of his cutting-table, unrolls his tape-line,
-and proceeds to measure his victim all over the
-body. The several measurements are all carefully
-entered in a book by the other humbug. The
-customer is then told that his pants will be
-finished in about twenty-four or thirty-six hours;
-all depends upon how long it takes to shrink the
-cloth. That’s the end of the first act. Part
-second.—The customer no sooner leaves the store
-than the merchant-tailor calls his shopboy Jim,
-and sends him around to some wholesale jobber,
-and says: “Get me a pair of pants, pattern thirty-six,”
-which is the shoddy imitation of the piece
-of cassimere that your pants are to be made of.
-“Get thirty-four round the waist, and thirty-three
-in the leg.” They are pulled out of a pile of a
-hundred pairs just like them, made by Chinese
-cheap labour. All the carefully made measurements
-and other claptrap are the bait on the hook.
-That’s the way it’s done.’</p>
-
-<p>Traders sometimes give themselves away, as
-Americans say, innocently enough, a Paris
-grocer advertising Madeira at two francs, Old
-Madeira at three francs, and genuine Madeira
-at ten francs, a bottle. A Bordeaux wine-merchant,
-after stating the price per cask and bottle
-of ‘the most varied and superior growths of
-Bordeaux and Burgundy,’ concludes by announcing
-that he has also a stock of natural wine to
-be sold by private treaty. A sacrificing draper
-funnily tempts ladies to rid him of three hundred
-baptiste robes by averring ‘they will not last over
-two days;’ and the proprietor of somebody’s
-Methuselah Pills can give them no higher praise
-than, ‘Thousands have taken them, and are living
-still.’</p>
-
-<p>When continental advertisers, bent upon
-lightening British purses, rashly adventure to
-attack Englishmen in their own tongue, the
-result is often disastrously comical. The proprietor
-of a ‘milk-cur’ establishment in Aix-la-Chapelle,
-‘foundet before twenty years of orders
-from the magistrat,’ boasts that his quality of
-‘Suisse and his experiences causes him to deliver
-a milk pure and nutritive, obtained by sounds
-cow’s and by a natural forage.’ One Parisian
-hosier informs his hoped-for patrons he possesses
-patent machinery for cutting ‘sirths’—Franco-English,
-we presume, for shirts. Another proclaims
-his resolve to sell his wares dirty cheap;
-and a dealer in butter, eggs, and cheeses, whose
-‘produces’ arrive every day ‘from the farms of
-the establishment without intermedial,’ requests
-would-be customers to send orders by unpaid
-letters, as ‘the house does not recognise any
-traveller.’ A Hamburg firm notifies that their
-‘universal binocle of field is also preferable for
-the use in the field, like in the theatre, and had
-to the last degree of perfection concerning to
-rigouressness and pureness of the glass;’ while
-they are ready to supply all comers with ‘A
-Glass of Field for the Marine 52ctm opjectiv
-opening in extra shout lac-leather étui and strap,
-at sh 35s 6d.’ This is a specimen of their ‘English
-young man’s’ powers of composition that would
-justify the enterprising opticians in imitating the
-Frenchman whose shop-window was graced with
-a placard, bearing the strange device, ‘English
-spoken here a few.’</p>
-
-<p>An Italian, speaking French well and a little
-English, with whom ‘wage is no object,’ advertising
-in a London paper for an engagement as
-an indoor servant, puts down his height as ‘fifty-seven
-feet seven.’ But he manages his little
-English to better purpose than his countryman of
-Milan, who offers the bestest comforts to travellers,
-at his hotel, which he describes as ‘situated in the
-centre of an immence parck, with most magnificient
-views of the Alp chain, and an English church<span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">{95}</span>
-residing in the hotel’—the latter being furthermore
-provided with ‘baths of mineral waters
-in elegant private cabins and shower rooms,
-and two basins for bathin’; one for gentlemen,
-the oter for ladies;’ while it contains a hundred
-and fifty rooms, ‘all exposed to the south-west
-dining-groom.’</p>
-
-<p>Such an exposure might well cause the Milanese
-host’s visitors to become ‘persons dependent upon
-the headache, or who have copious perspirations,’
-whom a M. Lejeune invites ‘to come and visit
-without buying his new fabrication,’ with the
-chance of meeting ‘the hat-makers, who endeavour
-by caoutchouc, gummed linen and others, to prevent
-hats from becoming dirt;’ eager to hear
-the inventor of the new fabrication demonstrate
-‘how much all those preparations are injurious,
-and excite, on contrary, to perspiration.’ Equally
-anxious to attract British custom is a doctor-dentist
-who, ‘after many years consecrated to
-serious experiences, has perfected the laying of
-artificial teeth by wholly new proceedings. He
-makes himself most difficulty works; it is the
-best guaranty, and, thanks to his peculiar proceeding,
-his work joins to elegancy, solidity, and
-duration.’ Considering all things, our doctor-dentist’s
-derangement of sentences is quite as
-commendable as that of the Belfast gentleman
-desirous of letting ‘the House at present occupied,
-and since erected by J. H——, Esq.;’ who might
-pair off with the worthy responsible for—‘To
-be sold, <i>six</i> cows—No. 1, a beautiful cow, calved
-eight days, with splendid calf at foot, a good
-milker; No. 2, a cow to calve in about fourteen
-days, and great promise. The <i>other two</i> cows are
-calved about twenty-one days, and <i>will speak for
-themselves</i>.’</p>
-
-<p>By a fortuitous concurrence of antagonistic
-lines, the <i>Times</i> one morning gave mothers the
-startling information that</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="smcap">Joseph Gillott’s Steel Pens<br />
-The Best Food for Infants<br />
-Is Prepared solely by<br />
-Savory and Moore</span><br />
-</p>
-
-<p>—a hint as likely to be taken as that of a public
-benefactor who announced in the <i>Standard</i>:
-‘Incredible as it may seem, I have ground to
-hope that half a glass of cold water, taken
-immediately after every meal, will be found to
-be the divinely appointed antidote for every kind
-of medicine.’</p>
-
-<p>Another benevolent individual kindly tells us
-how to make coffee:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">Placed in the parted straining-top let stand</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">The moistened coffee, till the grain expand,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Before the fire; then boiling water pour,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">And quaff the nectar of the Indian shore.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p>But he is not quite so generous as he seems, since
-he is careful to inform us he is in possession
-of an equally excellent recipe for bringing out
-the flavour of tea, which he will forward for five
-shillings-worth of stamps. Urged by an equally
-uncontrollable desire to serve his fellow-creatures,
-a ‘magister in palmystery and conditionalist’
-offers, with the aid of guardian spirits, to obtain
-for any one a glimpse at the past and present;
-and, on certain conditions, of the future; but
-with less wisdom than a magister of palmystery
-should display, he winds up with the prosaic
-notification, ‘Boots and shoes made to order.’</p>
-
-<p>The wants of the majority of advertisers are
-intelligible enough; but it needs some special
-knowledge to understand what may be meant
-by the good people who hanker for a portable
-mechanic, an efficient handwriter, a peerless feeder,
-a first-class ventilator on human hair-nets, a
-practical cutter by measure on ladies’ waists, a
-youth used to wriggling, and a boy to kick
-Gordon. Nor is the position required by a
-respectable young lady as ‘figure in a large
-establishment,’ altogether clear to our mind; and
-we may be doing injustice to the newspaper
-proprietor requiring ‘a sporting compositor,’ by
-inferring he wants a man clever alike at ‘tips’
-and types.</p>
-
-<p>It does not say much for American theatrical
-‘combinations,’ that the managers of one of them
-ostentatiously proclaim: ‘We pay our salaries
-regularly every Tuesday; by so doing, we avoid
-lawsuits, are not compelled to constantly change
-our people, and always carry our watches in our
-pockets.’ Neither would America appear to be
-quite such a land of liberty as it is supposed to
-be, since a gentleman advertises his want of a
-furnished room where he can have perfect independence;
-while we have native testimony to
-our cousins’ curiosity in a quiet young lady
-desiring a handsome furnished apartment ‘with
-non-inquisitive parties;’ and a married couple
-seeking three or four furnished rooms ‘for very
-light housekeeping, where people are not inquisitive.’
-Can it be the same pair who want a competent
-Protestant girl ‘to take entire charge of
-a bottled baby?’ If so, their anxiety to abide
-with non-curious folk is easily comprehended.</p>
-
-<p>Very whimsical desires find expression in the
-advertising columns of the day. A lady of companionable
-habits, wishing to meet with a lady
-or gentleman requiring a companion, would prefer
-to act as such to ‘one who, from circumstances,
-is compelled to lead a retired life.’ A stylish and
-elegant widow, a good singer and musician, possessing
-energy, business knowledge, and means
-of her own, ready, ‘for the sake of a social home,’
-to undertake the supervision of a widower’s establishment,
-thinks it well to add, goodness knows
-why, ‘a Radical preferred.’ Somebody in search
-of a middle-aged man willing to travel, stipulates
-for a misanthrope with bitter experience of the
-wickedness of mankind; displaying as pleasant
-a taste as the proprietor of a wonderful discovery
-for relieving pain and curing disease without
-medicine, who wants a partner in the shape of
-a consumptive or asthmatical gentleman.</p>
-
-<p>Your jocular man, lacking an outlet for his
-wit, will often pay for the privilege of airing his
-humour in public. Here are a few examples.
-‘Wanted, a good Liberal candidate for the
-Kilmarnock Burghs. Several inferior ones given
-in exchange.’—‘Wanted a Thin Man who has been
-used to collecting debts, to crawl through keyholes
-and find debtors who are never at home.
-Salary, nothing the first year; to be doubled each
-year afterwards.’—‘Wanted, Twelve-feet planks
-at the corners of all the streets in Melbourne,
-until the Corporation can find some other means
-of crossing the metropolitan creeks. The planks
-and the Corporation may be tied up to the lamp-posts
-in the dry weather.’—‘Wanted, a Cultured<span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">{96}</span>
-Gentleman used to milking goats; a University
-man preferred.’—‘Correspondence is solicited from
-Bearded Ladies, Circassians, and other female
-curiosities, who, in return for a true heart and
-devoted husband, would travel during the summer
-months, and allow him to take the money at the
-door.’—‘Wanted, a Coachman, the ugliest in the
-city; he must not, however, have a moustache
-nor red hair, as those are very taking qualities
-in certain households at present. As he will
-not be required to take care of his employer’s
-daughter, and is simply engaged to see to the
-horses, he will only be allowed twenty dollars per
-month.’</p>
-
-<p>A great deal might be said about pictorial
-advertisements, if the impossibility of reproducing
-them did not stand in the way. As it is, we
-must content ourselves with showing how an
-advertisement can be illustrated without the help
-of draughtsman or engraver. By arranging ordinary
-printers’ types thus:</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_p_096" style="max-width: 28.125em;">
- <img class="w100" src="images/i_p_096.jpg" alt="Punctation symbols arranged to look like faces" />
-</div>
-
-<p>an ingenious advertising agent presents the public
-with portraits of the man who does not and the
-man who does advertise, and says: ‘Try it, and
-see how you will look yourself.’</p>
-
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="A_STRANGE_INSTITUTION">A STRANGE INSTITUTION.</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<p>Amongst the oral traditions of the past in
-Cambridge, there is handed down to the modern
-undergraduate an account of a secret Society
-which was established in the university at a
-remote period of time, and which was called the
-Lie Society. At the weekly meetings of the
-members, an ingenious falsehood was fabricated,
-which frequently referred to some person locally
-known, and which was probably not altogether
-free from scandal. It was the duty of all the
-members to propagate this invented story as
-much as possible by relating it to every one they
-met. Each member had to make a note of the
-altered form in which the lie thus circulated
-came round to him individually, and these were
-read out at the next meeting with all the copious
-additions and changes the story had received
-passing from one to the other, often to such an
-extent as to leave but little of the original
-fabric left. After a time the Society began
-to languish, and soon after disappeared altogether.</p>
-
-<p>In the dim past, and before the present
-stringent regulations were made as to examinations
-in the Senate House, another secret Society
-was organised, called the Beavers, which was for
-the purpose of enabling members, when being
-examined, to help each other by a system of
-signals. With this view, one of the members of
-the Beavers was told off by lot to perform
-various duties assigned to him, such as engaging
-the attention of the examiners, and giving information
-as to the papers by preconcerted signs.
-This Society soon collapsed. To one of its
-members is credited the ingenious watch-faced
-Euclid, and the edition of Little-go-classics on
-sleeve-links.</p>
-
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="MY_HOME_IN_ANNANDALE_REVISITED">MY HOME IN ANNANDALE REVISITED.</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0"><span class="smcap">I leave</span> with joy the smoky town,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">As pining captive quits his cell,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">O’er shining sea and purple fell,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Again to see the sun go down:</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">As once behind great Penmanmawr,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">A ball of fire, o’er Conway Bay</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">He silent hung, then sank away,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">And beauteous shone the evening star.</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">My village home at length I reach,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">And stand beside my father’s door;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">His feet are on its step no more:</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">From texts like this, Time loves to preach.</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">Daylight is dying in the west;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">The leaden night-clouds blot the sky;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Across the fields, the pewit’s cry</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Only makes deeper nature’s rest.</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">The water-wheel stands at the mill,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">The fisher leaves the sandy shore,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">By garden gate and unlatched door</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Lassies and lads are meeting still.</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">Beside me stand the kirk and manse,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">On this green knoll among the trees;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">The summer burn still croons to these;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">But where are those who loved me once?</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">Only a sound of breaking waves,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">All through the night, comes from the sea:</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">But those who kindly thought of me,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Are sleeping in these quiet graves.</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">No sounds of earth can wake the dead!</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">I vainly yearn for what hath been:</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">The faces I in youth have seen,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">With the lost years away have fled.</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">The faintest breath that stirs the air</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Will take the dead leaf from the tree;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Thus, one by one, have gone from me</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Those who my young companions were.</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">A stranger in my native place,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Wearing the silver mask of years,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">None meet me now with smiles or tears,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Or in the man the boy can trace.</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">My trees cut down, have left the place</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Vacant and silent where they grew;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">From fields and farms, that once I knew,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">I miss each well-remembered face.</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">This price, returning, I must pay,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">With wandering foot who loved to roam:</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Thrice happy he who finds a home</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">And constant friends, when far away.</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">As relics from a holy shrine,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Dear names are treasured in my heart;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Death only for an hour can part;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">And all I loved, will yet be mine.</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">With blinding tears, I turn away.</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Young hearts round this new life can twine;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">But from my path has passed for aye</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">The light and love of auld langsyne.</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse right"><span class="smcap">Kirtle.</span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<p class="center">Printed and Published by <span class="smcap">W. &amp; R. Chambers</span>, 47 Paternoster
-Row, <span class="smcap">London</span>, and 339 High Street, <span class="smcap">Edinburgh</span>.</p>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<p class="center"><i>All Rights Reserved.</i></p>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CHAMBERS'S JOURNAL OF POPULAR LITERATURE, SCIENCE, AND ART, FIFTH SERIES, NO. 6, VOL. I, FEBRUARY 9, 1884 ***</div>
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