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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
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+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #66323 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/66323)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Natural History of the Gent, by Albert
-Smith
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: The Natural History of the Gent
-
-Author: Albert Smith
-
-Release Date: September 17, 2021 [eBook #66323]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: deaurider, Barry Abrahamsen, and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was
- produced from images generously made available by The Internet
- Archive)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE NATURAL HISTORY OF THE
-GENT ***
-
-[Illustration:
-
- “Come along, my r-r-r-r-rummy cove; come along! how are you? how d’ye
- do? here we are my bricksywicksywicksy!!!”
-]
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
- THE NATURAL HISTORY
-
- OF
-
- THE GENT.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
- BY ALBERT SMITH.
-
-
-
- LONDON:
-
- DAVID BOGUE, 86 FLEET STREET.
-
- MDCCCXLVII.
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- LONDON:
-
- VIZETELLY BROTHERS AND CO. PRINTERS AND ENGRAVERS,
-
- PETERBOROUGH COURT, FLEET STREET.
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- PREFACE.
-
-
-IN the Sunday newspapers of May 24, of the past year, 1846, appeared the
-following paragraph:—
-
-
- MARYLEBONE.
-
- A “GENT.”—A respectable-looking man, named James Dickenson, was
- charged by Brooks, 169 S, who said, “Please your worship, at two
- o’clock yesterday morning (Monday), I found this ‘gent’ drunk in
- Park Road, and took him into custody.”
-
- _Mr. Rawlinson_: Who do you say you found drunk?
-
- _Constable_: This “gent,” your worship.
-
- _Mr. Rawlinson_: What do you mean by “gent?” There is no such
- word in our language. I hold a man who is called a “gent” to be
- the greatest blackguard there is. (To the prisoner): What do you
- say to this? I hope you are not a “gent.”
-
- _Prisoner_: I am not, sir, and I trust that I know the
- distinction between a “gent” and a “gentleman.”
-
- _Mr. Rawlinson_: I dare say you do, sir, and I look upon the
- word “gent” as one of the most blackguard expressions that can
- be used.
-
- The prisoner was fined 5s., which he directly paid.
-
-
-We were exceedingly delighted when we read this police report. We had
-laboured, for three or four years, to bring the race of Gents into
-universal contempt; and we at last found that an intelligent and
-respected London magistrate had publicly stated, from the bench, his
-opinion of the miserable class in question; and that it exactly
-coincided with our own. But fearing—from seeing the odious word still
-starting up in shops, ticketed to wild articles of dress, to be
-hereafter alluded to, as well as hearing it every now and then applied
-by one “party” to another of his acquaintance—that the species was not
-yet extinct; fearing this, in spite of our direct attacks in _Punch_ and
-_Bentley’s Miscellany_, and our side-wind blows through the medium of
-our esteemed friend John Parry, certain burlesques at the Lyceum, and
-various other channels—we determined upon reconsidering all we had ever
-propounded on the subject, and publishing it in the form now presented
-to the reader, that all might clearly see who the Gents were, and shun
-them accordingly.
-
-And so we leave our little book in your hands, published at a price, as
-a prospectus always says, “that will bring it within the reach of all
-classes.” And we request your co-operation towards the great end of
-putting Gents out altogether. For they form an offensive body, of more
-importance than you would at first conceive; and both public and private
-society will be much benefited by their extinction.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
- THE NATURAL HISTORY
-
- OF
-
- THE GENT.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER I.
-
- WHAT THE GENT IS GENERALLY.
-
-
-THE species of the human race, to the consideration of which we are
-about to draw the attention of the reader, is of all others the most
-unbearable, principally from an assumption of style about him—a futile
-aping of superiority that inspires us with feelings of mingled contempt
-and amusement, when we contemplate his ridiculous pretensions to be
-considered “the thing.”
-
-The Gent is of comparatively late creation. He has sprung from the
-original rude untutored man by combinations of chance and cultivation,
-in the same manner as the later varieties of fancy pippins have been
-produced by the devices of artful market-gardeners, from the original
-stock wild crab of the hedges. The fashion which Gents have of
-occasionally addressing one another as “my pippin” favours this analogy:
-and when they use this figure of speech, they pronounce it as
-follows,—placing great stress on the first letter, and then waiting
-awhile for the rest,—“Ullo, my P—ippin!”
-
-After much diligent investigation, we find no mention made of the Gent
-in the writings of authors who flourished antecedent to the last ten
-years.
-
-In the older works we meet with “_bucks_” and “_gay blades_” and
-“_pretty fellows_;” and later with “_men upon town_,” “_swells_” and
-“_downy ones_,” or “_knowing coves_:” but the pure Gent comes not under
-any of these orders. He was not known in these times. He is scarcely
-understood now so universally as we could wish; but we trust that his
-real character will, before long, be properly appreciated. He is
-evidently the result of a variety of our present condition of
-society—that constant wearing struggle to appear something more than we
-in reality are, which now characterizes every body, both in their public
-and private phases.
-
-Our attention was first called to the Gents in the following manner:—
-
-We were in the habit of occasionally coming into contact with certain
-individuals, who when they spoke of their acquaintances were accustomed
-to say “I know a Gent,” or, “A Gent told me.” Never by any good luck did
-we hear them speak of Gentlemen. But it occurred that we chanced, on
-future occasions, to see one or two of the Gents above alluded to, and
-then we understood what they were.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-The first Gent we ever saw, we encountered on the roof of an omnibus,
-with his hat a little on one side, and a staring shawl round his neck.
-He was also smoking a cigar, as he sat next to the driver, in order that
-he might reap the benefit of his anecdotes and remarks concerning the
-horses and vehicle, to which the Gent replied at intervals, “Ah,” and
-“Yes,” and “I should say not,” and “Just so,” with other similar phrases
-used to fill up unmeaning dialogue. We heard him speak of “a Party he
-knew,” and he was very much interested at hearing that the off-horse
-worked “in the fust bus as ever Shillibeer started, and was took from
-the Angel to be put on the Elephant.” He was also informed of the
-singular speculation in which “the guvner give a fippun note for that
-little mare, and was offered eight sovrins for her within a week, though
-she was a reg’lar bag o’ bones;” upon which the Gent observed that “very
-often those sort of horses were the best.” Having delivered himself of
-which opinion, he rolled his cigar about in his mouth, gave a whiff in
-our face, and then removed it between his middle and ring-finger, to
-offer it to another Gent on the roof, who begged the favour of a light.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-The next Gent we met was in the street. He wore large check trowsers of
-the true light comedian pattern, which appeared to have been made
-expressly for Mr. Walter Lacy, or Mr. Wright: and he had on a short odd
-coat; such a one as that in which Mr. Buckstone might be expected to go
-to a ball. He carried a little stick of no earthly use, with a horse’s
-silver hoof on the top of it, which he kept to his lips always; and he
-also patronised the staring shawl and cigar; and he evidently imagined
-that he was “rather the Stilton than otherwise”—“_Stilton_” or
-“_cheese_” being terms by which Gents imply style or fashion. He was
-pursuing a pretty girl of modest deportment, who was possibly going
-home—for it was evening, when Gents and cheap umbrellas chiefly
-flourish—after her hard day’s toil at a bonnet-shop. The Gent had not
-the sense to see that his advances were repulsed with scorn and
-indignation. He imagined that by addressing his coarse annoying
-gallantry to an unprotected girl, he was acting as if he was “upon
-town,” “a fast man,” “up to a thing or two,” or some other such epithet,
-which it is the ambition of the Gent to get attached to his name.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-We met the next Gent in the boxes at one of the theatres, whither he had
-come in the full-dress of a light blue stock, and cleaned white gloves
-re-dirtied. We knew they had been cleaned; they exhaled a faint camphine
-odour, as he put his hand on the brass rail and leant over us, and there
-was none of that sharpness of outline in their dirt which new gloves
-evince: it was denser, cloudier, more universal; and the knuckles and
-nails were remarkably so. This Gent also had a little stick. He lighted
-a cigar at the lobby-lamp on leaving the house, and pulled a staring
-shawl out of his hat as he whistled an air from one of the burlesques.
-He went over to the Albion, the room of which was quite full; and after
-standing in the centre for a few seconds—tapping his teeth with his
-stick, whilst his left hand was thrust into the hinder pocket of his
-coat, dragged round to his hip—apparently disgusted at not creating any
-sensation, he turned round on his heel, and crossing Covent Garden,
-ultimately dived into Evans’s.
-
-Then we thought that the Gents must be a race by themselves, which
-social naturalists had overlooked, deserving some attention; and we
-determined to study their habits, and allot to them a certain position
-which at that time they did not appear to have.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER II.
-
- OF THE MANNER BY WHICH GENTS ARE KNOWN.
-
-
-EXPERIENCE proves that pictures are the best media for conveying
-information at the outset of tuition. Hence, in the study of Natural
-History, for instance, tyros learn the animals with their letters: their
-hornbooks have zoological alphabets, coloured in tints more or less
-eccentric; and, although led away by the representations, they sometimes
-read “A for donkey, B for great cow, C for poor puss,” yet, on the
-whole, the way is a good one.
-
-So, we will teach those not yet well up in the manner, by pictures, how
-they may know the Gents.
-
-The finest specimens may be seen in the coloured “Fashions,” with which
-certain comically-disposed tailors adorn their windows. In these
-presumed representations of prevalent style, some favourite west-end
-locality is taken for the background; and, in front, are many Gents, in
-such attitudes as may display their figures and little boots to the best
-advantage. Some are supposed to be arrayed for an evening party, in
-green dress-coats and puce tights. Some, again, are represented as
-sportsmen, with pinched-in waists, that the shock of the first leap, or
-the kick of the first shot, would knock in half; and others are
-promenade Gents, in frock coats and corded trowsers, bowing to one
-another with much grace, or leading little Gents by the hand, who look
-like animated daguerreotypes of themselves. Well, then, these are Gents,
-_pur sang_. Observe, as the showman says, observe their
-fashionably-shaped hats, their Lilliputian boots, their tiny gloves.
-There is no deception. Observe that all their positions are evidently
-the result of much study; and that the greater part of them have one arm
-elevated, and the palm open, with the air of a conjurer when he
-says,—“You will perceive I have nothing in my hand.”
-
-[Illustration]
-
-Of the same family as these Gents, are the fashionable loungers in
-pantomimes, who walk about with the distinguished females in the scanty
-_visites_ of pink glazed calico, trimmed with ermine; and the lovers in
-the blue coats and white trowsers on the sixpenny valentines, who direct
-the attention of the adored one to the distant village church.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER III.
-
- OF THE CHIEF OUTWARD CHARACTERISTICS OF THE GENT.
-
-
-ONE has only to look into the advertisements of cheap tailors, and the
-windows of ticketed shops, to form a very good notion of the other
-principal marks by which the Gent may be distinguished.
-
-It should be borne in mind, that the main object of the Gent is to
-assume a position which he conceives to be superior to his own.
-
-Now this, he fancies, is in a great measure accomplished by
-out-of-the-way clothes—a mark of superiority which has the advantage of
-requiring but a small outlay of intellect; and cunning manufacturers
-invent things on purpose to suit this taste, as the men of Manchester
-export gay-coloured, large-figured patterns for the negroes.
-
-For him the cheap Tailor announces the “Gent’s Vest”—which is the Hebrew
-for “Snob’s Waistcoat”—as patronised by the nobility. To catch his eye
-alone, are the representations of men of _ton_ put at the side of the
-advertisements; and, for his inspection, do the dummies stand at the
-doors of the shops, invested in the splendour of an entire suit, with an
-impossible waist, “made to measure for the same terms.”
-
-And we may observe that the Gents usually speak of their get-up as _the
-ticket_—the term possibly being used in allusion to the badge which
-distinguished their various articles of dress when exposed for sale.
-And, in writing these, the leaning of the Gents towards distinguished
-associations is very evident. A great coat must be a “Chesterfield,” a
-“Taglioni,” or a “Codrington;” a little rag of coloured silk for the
-neck is called a “Byron Tie;” and so on. If the things are not dignified
-by these terms, the Gent does not think much of them.
-
-To his taste does the ready-made Shoemaker appeal in the short fancy
-_Alberts_, ticketed “The Fashion.” If you are accustomed to derive a
-little gratuitous amusement from shop windows, as you go along the
-streets, you will see in them the funniest things, meant for the Gents,
-that it is possible to conceive. The most favourite style of _chaussure_
-is a species of cloth-boot, with a shiny-leather toe, and a close row of
-little mother-of-pearl shirt-buttons down the front; not for any
-purpose, for they are simply sewn on, the real method of fastening on
-the brodequin being by the humble lace and tag of domestic life, at the
-side.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-But it is with the Haberdashers that the toilet of the Gents comes out
-strongest.
-
-You will see “Gents’ Dress Kid” ticketed in the window. Be ye sure that
-they are large sized, awkwardly cut, yellow kid gloves, at
-one-and-sixpence. The tint is evidently a weakness with the Gents, who
-think them dashing, and say they come from _Hoobegongs_. But the
-merchants, lacking discrimination, believe that the predisposition is
-general. We will wager a dozen pairs of them that you never went into
-one of these establishments, and simply and decidedly demanded a pair of
-white kid gloves, but you were immediately asked “if you would not
-prefer straw-coloured?”
-
-And then the stocks—what marvellous cravats they form! Blue always the
-favourite colour—blue, with gold sprigs! blue, with a crimson floss-silk
-flower! blue Joinvilles, with rainbow ends! And, if they are black and
-long, they are fashioned into quaint conceits: Frills of black satin
-down the front, or bands of the same fabric looking like an imitation of
-crimped skate; or studs of jet made like buttons, as if the Gent wore a
-cheap, black satin shirt, and that was where it fastened. And the white
-stocks are more fanciful still. They are not very popular in their
-simple form; for the Gents feel that they cannot help looking like
-waiters in them; and so a little illegitimate finery is necessary. Hence
-they have lace ends, like the stamped papers from the top of _bon-bon_
-and French plum boxes. And the effect in society is very fine.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-The Jewellers consult the Gents, and for them manufacture various
-dashing articles in electro-gold. Some of the ornaments for the cravat
-are like large white currants, with gilt eels twisting round them; and
-others like blanket-pins with water on the brain. We have also seen some
-sporting Gents—of whom we shall hereafter speak—with mosaic gold heads
-of horses and foxes stuck in their stocks. And they love rings in
-profusion, which we have seen them at times wear outside their gloves.
-But this, perhaps, was an advantage, as Gents are accustomed, in
-general, to wear their hands large and red, with flattened ends to the
-fingers.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-It is for the Gents to buy, that the print-sellers put forward those
-dreary pictures of the _Pets of the Ballet_; consisting chiefly of
-chubby young persons, in short petticoats and ungraceful attitudes, like
-nothing ever seen on the stage anywhere; and coloured lithographs of
-housemaids cleaning steps; and chambermaids with flat candlesticks in
-their hands; and women with large black dots of eyes and heavy ringlets,
-trying on shoes. One was very popular a little time ago. It represented
-a young lady something between a hairdresser’s dummy and a barmaid, with
-a man’s coat and hat on over her own dress. She was looking through an
-eye-glass at the top of a whip, and underneath was written
-“_damme!_”—why, or wherefore, or in what relation to the singular mode
-of toilet she has adopted, or what the word itself meant in the
-abstract, we never could make out. But the Gents seemed to know all
-about it, and bought the picture furiously.
-
-By the tokens above mentioned—including always the staring shawl and the
-_al fresco_ cigar—you may know the Gent when you see him, even if you
-met him on the top of Mont Blanc—a place, however, where you are not
-very likely to encounter him. He prefers Windmill Hill.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IV.
-
- OF THE GENT AT THE THEATRE.
-
-
-WHEN the Promenade Concerts usurped the place of the regular Drama at
-our theatres, and Kœnig and Musard occupied the places of Kean and
-Macready—when Juliet was neglected for Jullien, Prospero for Prospère,
-and Viola for the violins, the Gent was exceedingly gratified thereby.
-The Promenade became his Paradise; and he used to walk round and round,
-keeping his face towards the audience (admiring the young ladies in the
-dress tier), with the pertinacity of the grand banners in stage
-processions; which, painted only on one side, appear to be endowed with
-some heliotropic principle, that causes their emblazoned surfaces to
-revolve always on the same plane with the footlights. But, whilst the
-Gent conceived that he was here “doing it—rather,” in the railway
-trowsers and dazzling stock, he totally forgot that the true _flaneur_
-would appear in something like evening costume, although he might not
-altogether adopt the extreme _rigueur_.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-We were rather inquieted as to what the Gents would do when these
-concerts closed. We made great search, and found at length that the
-majority emigrated to the musical taverns, where they contrived to get
-through the evening under the combined influence of Bellini, bottled
-beer, and brandy-and-water; deriving additional excitement from the
-novelty of seeing Somnambula performed through a haze of tobacco-smoke.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-But the theatre proper, is a favourite resort of the Gent, and
-half-price to the boxes his usual plan of patronising it; more
-especially when there is a ballet. Of the different parts of the house
-he prefers the slips. If you are seated opposite, you will see him come
-in about nine o’clock, and, leaving the panel door open, he stands on
-the seat, with his hands in his pockets, his stick under his arm, and
-thus makes his observations. Presently getting disgusted at the want of
-respect shown to him by an old gentleman in front, who is watching the
-performance most intently, with his head reclining on his arms, which
-are again supported by the rail, and who requests that he will have the
-goodness to shut the door, the Gent walks grandly away, and goes round
-to the other side, evidently conceiving that his dignity has been hurt.
-Here the same process of observation is repeated; and, if the Gent sees
-a pretty girl in a private box, he stares unflinchingly at her, until he
-thinks he has made an impression. And this is a strange lunatic notion
-with Gents of every degree: they believe they have powers to fascinate
-every female upon whom they cast their eyes, never thinking of the utter
-contempt always excited by such obtrusiveness on the part of an entire
-stranger.
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER V.
-
- OF THE GENT, AFTER THE PLAY, AT A TAVERN.
-
-
-BY the following signs may the Gent at this period be known: He walketh
-six abreast under the Piazza, singing a negro air in chorus; and,
-perchance, danceth a lively measure to the _refrain_, until he arriveth
-at the entrance of Evans’s Grand Hotel. He descendeth the stairs, and,
-on entering the room, he goeth to the upper end thereof; and, having
-greeted the singers with a wink, calleth out “Charles!” No response
-being made by the waiter, he rappeth with his stick upon the table,
-until the peppercastor falleth on the floor; for which unseemly conduct
-Evans mildly reproveth him. He taketh a sight at Evans in return, when
-he can do so unobserved, and saith that he liketh him not so well as
-Rhodes: and then he calleth “Henry!” Being served with the rabbit of
-Wales, he saith to the funny singer,—“How are you, old feller!” and
-presseth him to partake of his grog. He proffereth a prayer that the
-funny singer will oblige him with a particular song. The funny singer
-complieth; and the Gent singeth the chorus, prolonging it far beyond the
-proper length, to the indignation of Evans. At its conclusion, his
-animal spirits and enthusiastic approbation impel him to call
-out—“Bravo, Rouse!” which promoteth political dissension amongst the
-guests. Evans telleth him “that he cannot have the harmony of the room
-disturbed by one individual”—a sentiment which the Gent applaudeth
-lustily, and ordereth some champagne, which he drinketh, with the
-singers, from a tankard. The anger of Evans is in a measure appeased.
-The Gent joineth in a glee at the wrong time; but turneth away wrath by
-buying a copy of it when finished. He ordereth more champagne, and
-believeth that he is taken by the room for a “Lord about town.” He saith
-he hath a pony that he will back against every other to do every thing.
-He talketh of actresses, and winketh mysteriously. He telleth the funny
-singer that if he will come and see him at his little place in the city,
-he will put him up to a thing or two. At last he getteth troublesome,
-and is coaxed away by his companions. The next morning he saith what a
-spree he had, and that he sat opposite to an officer who knew one of the
-ballet, and had spoken to her once behind the scenes; and so he thinketh
-that he hath a link with the great world. But yet, upon reflection, he
-hath not.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VI.
-
- OF THE GENT IN THE OPEN AIR.
-
-
-THE most popular lounging thoroughfares of the west-end, such as Regent
-Street, the Burlington Arcade, Bond Street, or Piccadilly, are not those
-in which the Gents are to be often encountered in the day-time. The
-majority of them have evidently occupations, which keep them somewhere
-until four or five o’clock, so that they never come out in their full
-force until dusk, except on holidays; and then the short steamboats are
-the best places to find them. In fine weather, they discard the staring
-shawl for a blue handkerchief, with white spots; and then they provide
-themselves with a cigar (the cigar again!), a bottle of stout, and a
-Sunday paper, and, from the edge of the paddle-box, or from the top of
-the cabin, defy the world. You can find out their locality by the vapour
-of the cigar, as the “smoke which so gracefully curled” showed the
-author of “The Woodpecker” that he was in the vicinity of a cottage. If
-you cannot discover them by this sign, you must look out for their
-studs—they have a great idea of studs—usually like blue raspberries,
-which you will find glittering in the sun. If, by chance, they wear a
-long stock, then they have two pins and a chain; but such pins! and such
-a chain! You can never see any thing like them, unless you go to the
-Lowther Arcade; and there, amongst those wondrous collections of
-ornamental and useful articles which strew that thoroughfare—for all the
-houses appear to have turned themselves and their contents out of the
-window—you will find similar ones; meant, however, if we mistake not,
-for the back plaits of ladies’ hair. And this reminds us that the
-Lowther Arcade is a favourite lounge with the Gents: it is possible
-that, from the glittering stores here displayed, they acquire their
-taste for jewellery. The Lowther Arcade is to the men in the city
-chambers what the Burlington is to the denizens of the Albany. It is, as
-it were, the frontier between the two hemispheres of London life, to
-which position it lays some claim, inasmuch as when very crowded, a
-personal examination of effects sometimes takes place on passing it. And
-great is the throng here of an afternoon, principally composed of Gents
-and seedy foreigners, walking up an appetite for the incomprehensible
-carte of Berthollini; or a doubtful cross between these two varieties of
-the human species, found, upon investigation, to be attached to
-billiard-tables. And, by the way, remember, that of all the scamps upon
-town, your billiard-table _habitués_ are the darkest. Here they walk up
-and down for hours, loading the air with the products of combustion from
-their cheap cigars, (cigars again!) puffing the smoke into every bonnet
-they meet, or standing at the entrance with a whip in their hands, as
-though they had just got off their horse, and were keeping an
-appointment. But in reality they have no horse, nor do they expect any
-body.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-[Illustration]
-
-There are several loungers at this part of the town, who belong neither
-to the race of Gents nor Foreigners, and certainly are not military,
-although they evidently wish to be considered so; to whom we may briefly
-allude; for they partake, in a slight degree, of the characteristics of
-the former. They wear mustaches and curious frock-coats, sometimes with
-dabs of braid about them. Their hair is wiry and dark, and they are
-constantly arranging it with their hands. Sometimes they are seen with
-spurs; occasionally they carry a black cane, shouldered like a gun,
-twisted round their arm, with its head in their pocket, held upside
-down, in any way but the normal one. Day after day, when it is fine;
-nay, year after year; there they are, true _batteurs de pavé_. You may
-follow them for hours, and you will never see them speak to, or
-recognised by, any body. They do not even commune with each other.
-Nobody knows them; they belong to no club, and are never seen anywhere
-else. And it is remarkable that, like butterflies, you only come across
-them in bright weather. Where they go to at other times we cannot tell;
-we shall never be able to do so, until we have solved two other similar
-enigmas with respect to pins and bluebottles; and their ultimate
-destination is, to our thinking, the greatest marvel of the present day.
-For the corpses of the latter, found in grocers’ windows and saucers of
-unacknowledged poisons, and the rusty remains of the former discovered
-between boards, bear no comparison to the numbers that have existed.
-This disappearance is as remarkable as the generation of the fine woolly
-substance you find in the corner of your waistcoat pocket, where you
-have only kept a pencil-case and latch-key. But this by the way.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-We have said the Gent likes to be outside an omnibus. But he also loves
-the roof—literally, the roof; and he almost rejoices when he finds that
-the box is full, and he is obliged to perch there; for his mind appears
-to be brightened by his position, and many eccentricities are induced.
-He nods to other passengers as they pass, in a familiar manner, causing
-them to puzzle themselves almost into insanity during the remainder of
-the day, in endeavours to recollect who he could have been. He winks at
-the elder pupils of the promenading Hammersmith academies, if on their
-road; and tells old ladies, when they get out to go away, to give his
-love at home, and that he will be sure to write to them. He also has a
-cigar here, and he offers one to the coachman and other passengers.
-Before stages were exterminated the Gent preferred the box just the
-same; indeed, he felt in a measure degraded if he could not get it; and
-when the coachman got down he liked to hold the reins and whip in the
-proper manner, and show people that he was perfectly used to such a
-thing, and, for aught they could tell, might have a four-in-hand of his
-own.
-
-A variety of this last style of Gent, whom we may call the Driving Gent,
-has lately come up about town. We were in the Strand the other
-afternoon, and suddenly heard some notes from a post-horn, very badly
-blown; upon which we looked round, and saw a dog-cart approaching, with
-two horses to it, driven tandem fashion, with ferret-bells on their
-bearing reins. On this dog-cart were four Gents—not two gentlemen and
-two servants, as might have been expected. They were all dressed nearly
-alike; hats with narrow brims, coats with large buttons, staring shawls,
-and trowsers of the most prominent style—very _loud_ patterns, as a
-friend appropriately called them. Three had cigars, and the other had
-the horn; and it was evident that they thought they were “doing the fast
-thing, and no mistake.” We saw them afterwards in the Park, and chanced
-to follow them for some distance. The whole time they were there they
-never exchanged a salute with a soul—evidently they were out of their
-sphere; but went round and round, looked at by every body with something
-between a stare and a sneer, until they drove off again. The last time
-we saw them, they were shaking hands with a fighting man at the door of
-a gin-shop.
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VII.
-
- OF THE GENT WHO GOES TO THE RACES.
-
-
-THE Gent who goes to the races must not be confounded with the Sporting
-Gent, of whom we may speak by-and-by. He knows nothing in the world
-about the running, nor indeed does he care much about it, beyond the
-manner in which it may affect a chance he has in a “Derby Sweep.” But he
-thinks the fact of being seen there gives him a position in society, and
-he would not miss the races for any thing.
-
-As the Gent who goes to the races is closely allied to the Gent we saw
-at the night taverns, we will describe him in the same fashion.
-
-He buyeth a “D’Orsay blouse,” which he believeth to have been made under
-the Count’s own eye; a blue cravat, spotted with white wafers; a whip,
-and a pair of short patent boots, to produce an effect; in which he
-mounteth a “fast four-horse coach” from the “Garrick’s Head.” At the
-“Elephant and Castle,” being called “my noble sportsman” by the vender
-of the cards, he buyeth one, and conceiveth that he is taken for Lord
-Chesterfield. He asketh the vender, with a severe look, “if it is
-Dorling’s?” to show that he is “a downy cove,” and not to be done. He
-also hath a glass of pale ale. On Clapham Common he seeth a ladies’
-school, and boweth to the tall pupil; whereupon the tall pupil receiveth
-a chiding from the English teacher for unseemly levity, and the tall
-pupil accuseth the half-boarder of being the true culprit. At Mitcham he
-hath another pale ale, and delighteth in being recognised by a man on a
-pony, whom he sayeth is “Bob Croft;” after which, he winketh or kisseth
-his hand to all the housemaids, who, on the Derby Day, invariably take
-two hours and a half to make the front-room bed; swinging his legs over
-the side seat of the roof, that his boots may dazzle the rustics. At
-Sutton he hath another pale ale. This fully openeth his heart, and he
-carolleth lustily until he reacheth the Downs, when he hopeth to be
-taken for one of the Guards. A gipsy woman telleth him that he hath a
-wicked eye, and that his company is agreeable to various female
-Christian names; whereon he giveth her a shilling and the tail of a
-lobster, the large claw of which he putteth to his nose, and in his
-imagination doeth the “fast thing.”
-
-[Illustration]
-
-After the race (than which he sayeth he never saw a better, albeit he
-hath seen but few) he thinketh it “nobby” to throw at the sticks, and
-insisteth that the merchant do set up a bell, a feathered cock, and a
-pear that discourseth music most unhappily, by pulling out the stalk,
-and blowing through it. He seeth Lord ——, whom he knoweth by sight, next
-to him, laden with crockery, dogs, and Napoleons, pincushions,
-money-boxes, and soldiers in remarkable uniforms, partaking of the
-Grenadier’s, Highlander’s, and Turk’s; and he striveth to knock down
-more things than the patrician. But in this he faileth, and intruding on
-the other’s aim, is called a “snob,” which, in the kindness of his
-heart, he resenteth not, but carrieth his winnings in his hat back to
-the coach, after which he walketh about “to see the fine women.” Next he
-hath more lunch, until his heart openeth wider than ever, and he
-thinketh, “This is life rather; what a fast one I am, and can’t I do it
-when I choose! Hurrah!” He then challengeth strange men on the roofs of
-distant vehicles to take wine, because he knoweth “they are the right
-sort,” and finisheth by trying a hornpipe on the roof of his own, in all
-the enthusiasm of ale, sun, lobster salad, dust, champagne, and a
-post-horn.
-
-Going home, his humour knoweth no bounds. He tieth his handkerchief to
-his stick for a flag, until he loseth his hat, when he tieth his
-handkerchief round his head. He sitteth on the post-horn, and causeth it
-to resemble a ram’s. He pelteth old gentlemen driving four-wheeled
-chaises with snuff-boxes, and distributeth pincushions to the domestics,
-breaking windows withal. He liketh to know who any one is who upsetteth
-him by offensive speech; and tumbleth to the ground at Sutton, where he
-wisheth for several pale ales while the coach stoppeth to cool the
-wheels, which follow the example of the passengers, and begin to smoke.
-Here he danceth a lively measure in the road before a landau, and
-smileth wickedly at the occupants. Getting troublesome, he is put in the
-inside, with the helper, the hamper, and the dirty plates, where he
-remaineth until he reacheth London, when he sayeth, “Let’s make a night
-of it.” But the manufacturing process is scarcely worthy the reader’s
-attention. The next day he sayeth, “I must dine at Berthollini’s for two
-months to come, and give up suppers.”
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VIII.
-
- OF CERTAIN GENTS IN SOCIETY.
-
-
-ONCE, when like Mr. Tennyson we were “waiting for the train at
-Coventry,” and thinking of Lady Godiva—the Gents would like to have
-peeped at Godiva—we saw a penny show on the ground floor of an empty
-house in a principal street of that good city. It consisted of “A Happy
-Family”—a collection of various animals, of different natures, in one
-cage—like the travelling menagerie opposite the National Gallery, but on
-a much larger scale. The members of the “family” were quietly enjoying
-the pleasure of each other’s society, with the exception of two monkeys,
-one of whom sat sullenly scowling at some mice, as he hugged himself up
-into a ball in every body’s way; and the other created much discomfort,
-from time to time, by rushing about in a frantic manner, running over
-his neighbours, performing totally useless feats of agility, and
-deporting himself generally in an absurd and unseemly fashion.
-
-Now, taking monkeys to be the Gents of the animal kingdom, we were
-pleased to see how closely they resemble their human brethren:—for the
-Gents you encounter in society are of two kinds. Taking an assembly as
-the place where you would be most likely to come upon them, you will
-find them either endeavouring to “do the grand,” by not joining in the
-current amusements of the evening; or overstepping all bounds of
-ordinary behaviour—“going it,” to use their own words—and committing
-every kind of preposterous and silly offence against the received rules
-of society.
-
-If you talk to the first of these, whom we may call the dreary Gent, you
-will always find that he has been “dining with some fellows he knows;”
-or “having a weed with a man;” and you will be reminded of cigars. He
-affects a drawling indifferent tone of voice, which he considers cool
-and fashionable; and he prefers keeping outside the drawing-room door,
-upon the landing, because “he don’t want to be bored to dance.” He wears
-broad tails to his coat, and most probably the buttonholes are brought
-together over his chest by a small snaffle; whilst, hanging by a bit of
-chain from his waistcoat pocket, is a little broquet key, made like a
-dog’s head, the nose of which winds up his watch. His stock is of
-figured satin, very gay, and very narrow, and with long twisted ends, in
-which is stuck a large pin—usually a claw holding a stone, as big and as
-white as a pea of Wenham ice from a sherry cobbler. He will ask you, “if
-you were up at Putney on Tuesday;” and if you were not, and do not even
-know what great event took place on that day, be sure that he regards
-you with great contempt. Like all Gents, he has a great notion of
-champagne, which at supper he drinks by himself from a tumbler as he
-would drink it at a night tavern, as aforesaid, from a tankard.
-
-Very opposite to him is the joyous Gent, whom we may term the Perrot of
-private life. He always gives us the notion of a ballet-dancer spoiled,
-especially in Pastorale or the Polka; in which latter dance, if he does
-not happen to have for his partner a young lady of determined spirit,
-and a keen discrimination of right and wrong, he will launch off into
-all sorts of toe-and-heel tomfooleries, such as simple people used to
-perpetrate when the Polka first broke out—such as you may still see,
-after supper, at Jullien’s and Vauxhall, or at the “Gothics,” and other
-ten-and-sixpenny demi-public hops, of the same genus, even at the
-Hanover Square Rooms. The joyous Gent is very great indeed in cheap
-dancing-academy figures. He knows the “Caledonians” and the “Lancers;”
-he loves the “Spanish dance,” and patronises the gloomy, and almost
-extinct “Cellarius.” And we will make any reasonable wager, that before
-the quadrille begins, he will bow to his partner, and then to the corner
-lady, or the one on his left.
-
-The social acquirements of the joyous Gent are many, and he delights in
-every opportunity of exhibiting them. His strongest points are his
-imitations of popular performers, especially Buckstone, in whose manner
-he says, “well I never!—did you ever!—oh never!—oh wlaw!” in a manner
-that elicits the loudest applause. Next he attempts Macready, as
-follows:—
-
- “Nay—dearest—nay—if thou—wouldst have—me paint
- The home—to which—could love—fulfil—its prayers,—
- This hand—would lead—thee—listen.”
-
-Then Mr. T. P. Cooke, when he pitches his voice in a low falsetto,
-hitches his trowsers, says, “My dear eyes! what! Sewsan!” and affirms
-that “no true heart is altered by the gilt swabs on the shoulders, but
-is ever open to the cry of a female in distress.”
-
-Possibly the next will be Mr. Paul Bedford, when he rolls his _r_
-and says, “Come along, my r-r-r-r-rummy cove; come along
-comealong-comealong! how are you? how d’ye do? here we are! I’m a
-looking at you like bricksywicksywicksies—I believe you my
-boy-y-y-y-y!”
-
-And directly afterwards he turns up his nose with his forefinger, and
-looks like Mr. Wright, as he exclaims, “Come, I say you know, guv’nor,
-none o’ them larks eh! you didn’t ought to was.”
-
-All these are sure to be received with the greatest enthusiasm: and as
-he usually gives the name of the actor he is about to imitate, before he
-commences, he is spared the unpleasantry attendant upon the remark of
-some guest, who says “Capital! famous! it’s Keeley himself,” when the
-ingenious Gent is attempting an impersonation of Farren.
-
-But after all his surest card is Buckstone.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IX.
-
- OF GENTS ON THE RIVER
-
-
-THE grand gathering of Gents is only to be met with as one universal
-réunion of all their varieties, on board the Sunday steamboats. No city
-in the world produces so many holiday specimens of tawdry vulgarity as
-London: and the river appears to be the point towards which all the
-countless myriads converge. Their strenuous attempts to ape gentility—a
-bad style of word, we admit, but one peculiarly adapted to our
-purpose—are to us more painful than ludicrous: and the labouring man,
-dressed in the usual costume of his class is, in our eyes, far more
-respectable than the Gent, in his dreary efforts to assume a style and
-tournure which he is so utterly incapable of carrying out.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-When joining a steamboat excursion the Gent never sits on the regular
-benches placed for that purpose. He prefers the top of the
-cabin-door—the steps of the paddle-boxes—the platform on which the
-steersman is elevated, and the like situations. Here you may always see
-him with a newspaper and a bottle of stout, a light blue stock, and,
-being Sunday, a very new hat, and a pair of white trowsers: with Berlin
-gloves, which he carries in his hand. For, indeed, not being used to
-them, nothing presents so perfect an idea of tolerated discomfort as a
-Sunday Gent in a pair of gloves. We can only compare the appearance of
-his hands, when suffering under the infliction, to those of a Guy
-Fawkes, or the tailors’ dressed-up dummies before alluded to.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-But there are also aquatic Gents, who row in boats on regatta
-afternoons, and hope to be mistaken for “Leanders.” Their principal
-characteristics when on the river, in this phase, are propensities to
-wear pink silk jerseys, and silk caps. Now and then they have been known
-to row in white kid gloves. But they may soon be detected; and are
-especially found out by a race of amphibious aborigines who affect the
-river and its banks, known to the natives as “Coalies” and “Bargees;”
-and who call them _tailors_, and make unpleasant allusion to goose and
-board, whereupon the anger of the Gents being called forth, they retort,
-asking of the latter _amphibia_ above alluded to, “who eat the puppy pie
-under Marlow bridge?” In which query, it is presumed, lies a hidden
-taunt of rankling venom; for the “Bargees” immediately indulge in
-language which would shock any one of a properly constituted mind, very
-dreadfully—and call the Gents _sweeps_, not always without some
-adjective prefixed, more powerful than polite.
-
-River Gents are very fond of talking of their “rooms;” which means the
-rooms rented by Oxford and Cambridge rowing men, for their meetings
-previous to matches, starting, &c. With these, and the members of them,
-the Gent professes to have an intimate acquaintance, albeit most likely
-he never entered them, and would in all probability be snubbed out, or
-possibly kicked, if he made the attempt.
-
-Another great feature in the natures of the river Gents, is that of
-belonging to four-oared cutter-clubs, with startling names; such as, the
-Argonauts, the Corsairs, &c. They have their boats very elaborately
-adorned—red and blue; and lots of gilding being considered the thing;
-with the arms of the club—the only ones with which they have, in any
-way, any thing to do—being emblazoned everywhere. In such clubs the
-members row up to Putney, dine, get drunk, sing out of window, and come
-back in an omnibus, leaving their waterman to bring the boat home the
-next day.
-
-The river Gent always knows a man with a yacht, with whom he has once
-been as far as Gravesend. This enables him to talk about the “Bargee;”
-and even when he thinks he is entirely amongst the unsophisticated, to
-launch into hazardous remarks about a “flying-jib,” and the build of the
-_Prima Donna_. And if he in any way intends to make a great effect, he
-has been frequently known to take the name of Lord Alfred Paget in vain;
-which is a great thing, not only with river Gents, but all sorts of city
-yacht men generally.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER X.
-
- OF THE GENT AT THE CASINOS.
-
-
-IT is probable that, at some time or the other, you have been at a fête
-in Paris.
-
-Because if you have, you will recollect the gay “Bal de Paris” that was
-lighted up so tastefully when it became dark. You will recall the order
-that reigned there, so different to the vulgar jostling and dreary riot
-of the “Crown and Anchor” at Greenwich Fair. If you have not been there,
-figure to yourself an enormous tent, say one hundred feet long,
-supported by gilt pillars, with pretty festoons, and surrounded by
-trophies and tricoloured flags, of red, blue, and white calico all
-round. The floor is neatly boarded; and in the centre, an excellent
-orchestra, of a dozen musicians, performing all the most popular
-quadrilles, waltzes, and polkas of Paris. Five sous is charged for
-entrance, and an extra demand of five sous is made each time you dance;
-when you are not considered as transgressing etiquette in asking any
-fair one that your choice may fall upon. The utmost order prevails.
-Indeed, the municipal guards in attendance with their fierce mustaches
-and tiger-skin helmets, will soon march you off between them if you
-overstep decorum.
-
-With respect to the refreshments, there is not the immense bar which we
-see at the Greenwich Fair and Moulsey Race-course dancing assemblies,
-covered with cold boiled-beef, ham, fowls, bottled-porter, pipes, and
-crockery; but then there is a small tent aside from the grand one, for
-lemonade, _sirop de groseilles_, wine, coffee, and Rheims biscuits,
-which has an air of refinement never met with in England at meetings of
-this kind. Dancing is the sole object of the company; and dance they do;
-and so did we, too, once upon a time (as soon as we got over our
-thorough English idea that every body was looking at us), and we can
-safely say we enjoyed ourselves much more there than we had done at any
-dashing evening parties in London. And then the practice in French
-conversation which it affords! You can speak so easily, so fluently, to
-a pretty grisette in the middle of a dance, and under the influence of a
-bottle of _vin ordinaire_, at twelve sous; it beats all the masters,
-believe us; and we speak from experience. But all this by the way. All
-have their hobbies, and pretty grisettes are ours.
-
-Few have watched these agreeable dances without lamenting the absence of
-such things from our English festivals: we believe it is the Gents alone
-who have proved the obstacles to their proper introduction. For they
-would never keep quiet, and simply enjoy themselves. They would think it
-necessary to “have a spree;” and could not exist ten minutes without
-surreptitiously lighting a cigar, for any consideration. He would think
-that he was not “nobby” if he did not have some wretched champagne: and
-this miserable mess, getting into his head, would lead him into all
-manner of offensive behaviour. For no Gent can stand much wine, at any
-time; and Gent’s wine in particular, such as Casino champagne, fearfully
-upsets them.
-
-When we first heard that M. Laurent was going to start a shilling
-concert and dance we were much disquieted; for we knew at what a rampant
-pitch Gentism would arrive there. But it was somewhat gratifying to see
-that the sensible behaviour of a few strong-minded visitors somewhat
-awed them into propriety. Still there are many who still assemble; and
-the use of this chapter is, that you may be shown how to know and avoid
-them.
-
-The Casino Gent especially likes a white over-coat, short, with large
-buttons; and under this he disposes a gay shawl, so as to look like the
-collar of a waistcoat. He carries a short stick, and this he never parts
-with under any pretence; but in a polka you will see it high in air
-above the whirling confusion of dances, and by this signal may trace his
-progress about the room.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-His polka is not of the first order; it savours more of the dancing
-academy than the drawing-room; and he has scarcely yet given up the
-fandango atrocities before alluded to, that disgraced the polka on its
-first introduction into England. Hence you will at times still see him
-“kicking up behind and before” in an absurd manner, that “Old Joe,” of
-Ethiopian celebrity, could scarcely have outdone.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-This Gent is not very clever at the _deux temps_. Before he knew what it
-was, he used to imagine that certain fools were dancing the polka to a
-waltz time; but now he has found out his error, albeit he still looks
-upon it with a sort of contemptuous expression, such as unpleasant
-people in general adopt when they are called upon to admire something
-popular that they cannot do themselves. In the intervals of the dances
-he promenades the room, laughing loudly about nothing particular, and
-hitting his friends on the back with his stick, to attract their
-attention. And no true Gent, got up as we have described, ever entered
-the Casino but he did not firmly believe that he was _the_ man of the
-assembly. Hence two Gents will always look savage at one another when
-they meet.
-
-_Au reste_, the Gent is soon subdued, when too lively, by the proper
-authorities: and he has great belief in the power of an acquaintance
-with Mr. Henry Mott, who delights in elegant white cravats, and is the
-head master of the ceremonies, nearest the band and the sherry-cobblers.
-
-With respect to other public balls, you will not meet many Gents at
-Weippert’s, or the St. James’s. The men there are too strong for them;
-not physically, but in social position; and the _lorettes_ of these
-assemblies have quick eyes at detecting snobbishness of any kind. We
-have seen one or two Gents at either place; but they always looked
-especially wretched—as much out of their place as a toadstool in a
-conservatory. The gentlemen did not insult them; they only tacitly
-objected to be vis-à-vis to them, and quietly withdrew their partners
-from the set, until the Gents stood alone.
-
-They are in greater force at _bals masqués_, in and out of costume. Many
-Gents conceive that going in a scarlet coat and top-boots, and now and
-then shouting “Yoicks!” constitutes the fast thing: hence there is
-always one of this kind. Others adopt large noses, and false mustaches,
-which they think is “doing it—rather!” But you never see them in
-characteristic or original costumes; nor, lacking them, do they even
-adhere to a recognised evening toilet. They prefer their beloved railway
-trowsers, and flaring stocks and shawls, and centre all their notions of
-full-dress in a paletot. M. Jullien is gradually changing all this: we
-trust he will not stop until he places the masked ball—“bal marsk” the
-Gent calls it—on a level with those of Paris. But then the complimentary
-admissions must be weeded; and the authorities must learn that it is not
-at all necessary to engage a few wretched supernumeraries from the
-theatres, in dingy wardrobe costumes, to support the festivity of the
-evening. All low people, including Gents, get drunk; and all drunken
-people are miserable nuisances.
-
-_Note._—If ever you see two Gents dancing together at a _bal masqué_,
-you are at liberty to kick and insult them, with every opprobrious
-epithet.
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XI.
-
- OF THE GENT AT THE SEA-SIDE.
-
-
-THERE is a period in the year of London existence, when that portion of
-it termed the Season, _par excellence_, comes to an end with every body,
-whatever their station; for very few there are who do not, somehow or
-other, contrive to get out of town, when the great rush from home—that
-flight of the soul of the departed Season—is at its height. Every body
-who has not already gone, is going; nobody will own to staying in town,
-even if compelled to do so. Houses are shut up, blinds newspapered, and
-furniture tied up in bags: in fact, to make a wretched joke, whilst the
-family is on the Rhine, its lamps and ottomans are all in Holland. There
-are no more carriages whirling about the west-end streets: no more
-thundering knocks echoing all day, and night, too, for the matter of
-that, in the squares. You write letters, and get no answers: you make
-calls, and find nobody at home, but a servant on board wages, who runs
-out into the area to look at you before she answers the door, in great
-astonishment. You think it almost disreputable to be seen about, so you
-follow the rest, and go away.
-
-This feeling extends throughout all classes of society: and going down
-lower and lower, at last reaches the Gent, who copies the gentleman, but
-sees, as usual, every thing through a wrong medium. In fact, his
-reflection is that of a spoon, in more senses than one: making the most
-outrageous images of the original, distorting all the features, but
-still preserving a strange sort of identity.
-
-The Gent has two favourite places of sea-side resort, according to his
-idiosyncrasies: if joyous, he goes to Gravesend; if dreary, to Ramsgate.
-Margate is neither one thing nor the other, and Brighton is really too
-respectable. He cannot there show off: and to show off is the battle of
-the Gent’s life. But Gravesend is delicious. The transit is cheap and
-rapid; the lodgings are moderate; an effect in dress can be made at an
-easy rate; and, above all, there is that largest ornamental chalk-pit in
-the world, Rosherville.
-
-We are, perhaps, wrong in putting Gravesend under the head of sea-side
-resorts: but the Gent considers it to be so. And, indeed, the baths
-there offer peculiar advantages, combining the properties of both fresh
-and salt water, with the impurities of both, and the attributes of
-neither. Yellow slippers may also be purchased in the town; and this
-circumstance induces the belief, that the neighbouring water is the sea;
-a delusion which appears common not only amongst the Gents, but most of
-the settlers. This, however, by the way: we were speaking of
-Rosherville, the paradise which mainly draws the Gents from town.
-
-The costume of the Gent at Rosherville is analogous to the one he wears
-at the promenade concerts, with the exception, that he has a more airy
-cravat, of brighter hue, and smokes perpetually, except in the
-ball-room; and he would do that, thinking it was “the thing,” if a board
-did not warn him: showing that such warning was found absolutely
-necessary. And here, whilst listening to the “military band” of the
-first detachment of the Light Coldstream Indefatigables, he puts his hat
-on one side, sits on a table, and tapping his short boot, which
-discovers its form through his trowsers, with his equally curtailed
-cane, believes, as usual, that he is _the_ man of the assembly.
-
-The Gent has several fashions in the dancing at Rosherville, different
-from those of the Casino. In the first place, he takes off his hat, and
-hangs it on a peg, if there is one vacant; if not, he leaves it at the
-bar. Then he bows to his partner, and, if he knows her very well, courts
-at the same time: and, subsequently, he salutes the corners with great
-politeness, previous to commencing the first set. But this particular
-set does not stand very high in estimation. In common with other balls
-for the _basse classe_, its component Gents prefer dances of intricate
-and abnormal fashion: and so it is here also considered _ton_ to perform
-the _Caledonians_ (which nobody ever knows all through, except the
-master of the ceremonies), the _Lancers_, _Spanish Dances_, the
-_Cellarius_, even the _Gavotte_, and other frantic arrangements of
-gasping professors, including, of course, “_La Polka_” as it is always
-termed, in their parlance. And on “Gala Nights,” still more wonderful
-evolutions are gone through, all of which are due to the inventive
-genius of the aforesaid inimitable M.C., whose friendship the Gent
-especially prizes. For at Rosherville that great man is to be
-seen—actually, really to be seen—walking like an ordinary person,
-amongst ordinary fellow creatures. He is no longer a phantasy of mental
-conception—not that zephyr in pumps bounding amidst new-laid eggs and
-tea-things, or matchlessly performing his Marine Hornpipe in top-boots,
-or Chinese Fandango in handcuffs, or Milanese Fling in the double
-jack-chains; but a substantial reality,—the glass of fashion, the mould
-of form, whom we can never fancy putting off the pumps of ceremony for
-the high-lows of necessity—in a word, THE BARON NATHAN.
-
-The Gent at Ramsgate would be the last to persuade that it is really a
-dull place. He is one of the most strenuous upholders of that greatest
-of all popular delusions suffered to go unchallenged, that English
-sea-side watering-places generally are pleasant spots to emigrate to,
-and Ramsgate in particular. We know, as far as we are concerned, that we
-once underwent transportation for seven days to that penal settlement;
-and that we never before suffered (we expect in common with every body
-else) from such a ghastly gasping after the belief that we were “doing a
-holiday,” as the Gent would say, as during that time.
-
-How the Gent makes up his mind to go to Ramsgate at all we cannot make
-out; but there he always is: and he divides the measure of his revelry
-thereat into four goes of excitement: Going on the sands; Going out
-sailing; Going on the pier; and Going to Sachett’s.
-
-_Going on the sands_ is the weakest of the Gent’s pastimes: but he says,
-with a loud laugh, that it is to see the ladies bathe. Elsewhere it
-would be confined to watching children bury one another in the sand,
-with small wooden spades—a performance which, like a pantomime, however
-interesting on first representation, somewhat flags in interest upon
-repetition. The Gent usually takes two chairs to rest upon, and stares
-hard at every body else, especially the females, the while he sketches
-feeble designs with his short stick, which he never by any means parts
-with, on the sand.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-_Going out sailing_ is also a slow business—slower than a few friends
-after a dinner-party for a carpet polka; or a standard five-act-play; or
-a wedding breakfast; or the outside half of yesterday’s _Times_; or a
-book written with a “high moral purpose;” or a Charing-Cross-to-the-Bank
-omnibus—and that is saying a good deal: the Gent, however, likes it: for
-then he puts on a shirt ruled with blue ink, the collar of which he
-turns down: and talks of “jibs,” and “tacks,” and “sheets,” and also
-alludes to the man he knows who keeps a yacht. And he takes his
-cigar—his loved cigar—as soon as he leaves the harbour. And as he leaves
-the harbour he stands in an attitude, and believes that the young ladies
-who show their ankles on the pier imagine him to be a Red Rover.
-
-Perhaps _Going on the pier_ is the Ramsgate Gent’s greatest treat:
-because then he can put on his gay clothes, and once more think that he
-is rather the thing. But in this the Gent makes a great mistake. He
-dresses but once in the day, and then puts on a frock-coat, which he
-wears to dinner, and all the evening; not exactly understanding, we
-expect, what is the real difference between morning and evening toilets.
-For as Gentlemen usually dress after a walk, so do Gents dress before
-one: and if they do not appear in their “best” to walk up and down the
-pier—which at Ramsgate is the chief straw that the sinking _ennuyés_
-clutch at—and stare superciliously at all whom they do not know, they
-think they are snobs—the snob being to the Gent what the Gent is to the
-Gentleman.
-
-The prevalence of Gents at Ramsgate, in such numbers that the fine
-weather brings them out like bluebottles, is easily accounted for.
-There is a certain class of families who go to Ramsgate every year,
-because they were there the last. They come either from the
-Pancras-cum-Bloomsbury district of London, or having shops, or
-ware-rooms, or counting-houses in the City, live in suburban villas
-comfortably off, and believing greatly in all conventional rules of
-society, getting perhaps once a year to the Opera, thinking a great
-deal of Mansion-house balls, and believing to a great degree in
-fashion-books. Well, these good folks affect Ramsgate greatly, and so
-take their families with them. The girls of this class pass muster
-pretty well; Clapham or Chiswick academies teaching them certain
-school accomplishments, which pass current for a decent education
-amongst their equals—but the boys are always Gents. The same feeling
-which induces their parents to believe that the more showily they can
-set out their dinner-table the higher they rise in social life, makes
-these sons imagine that two or three dear and flashy articles of dress
-place them on a level with the well-born and well-bred Gentleman.
-Accustomed in their own spheres to take the lead, they will not go
-where they meet men who attain very good stations in society without
-large studs or noisy-patterned cravats; and constantly associating,
-one with the other, they get lost beyond all redemption. And of these
-is the migratory young-man society of Ramsgate chiefly composed.
-
-Of the same class is the Gent at Boulogne. He is at first a long time
-being persuaded to go there; because he knows that his ignorance of the
-language will be an awful drop to his consequence, and bring him down at
-once to his elements in a very humiliating manner. But after a while,
-finding that every body else knows something about it but himself, he
-determines to go. And in this wise doth he deport himself.
-
-_Imprimis_ he alloweth his mustaches to grow, which giveth him the look
-of an officer-lover in a farce at the Eagle, but assimilateth to the
-foreigner in nothing. He delighteth in brutal conduct to the native
-functionaries, which he taketh to be a fine display of national spirit,
-and thinketh that they are impressed with respect for him thereby. He
-calleth the _vin ordinaire_ “rot,” but drinketh brandy to intoxication.
-He shouteth with hoarse joyless laughter at French peculiarities, and
-thinketh that, by so doing, he displayeth a fine-natured _naïveté_. He
-deemeth the greatest discovery ever made to be that of a tavern whereat
-British stout is retailed; and thinketh that he maketh a joke of
-excellent pungency when he saith “Waterloo,” to a French soldier. He
-careth not for the indigenous hotels, but loveth better the English
-boarding-house, where he can have “a good John Bull joint, and no French
-kickshaws:” John Bull being represented generally as a vulgar top-booted
-man verging on apoplexy, with, evidently, few ideas of refinement,
-obstinate and hard-natured; but the Gent conceiveth that upon occasions
-it is ennobling to profess attachment to him.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XII.
-
- NOTES OF CERTAIN OTHER GENTS.
-
-
-THERE is a species of Gent who, moving only in a third or fourth rate
-sphere, goes to a party in a white cravat and turned up wristbands, and
-carries his hat into the room because he had heard that Gentlemen do so.
-He is generally an immense card. We chanced to stand next to a specimen
-of this kind, one evening, in a quadrille, and the only remark we heard
-him make was inquiring of his partner, after two or three false starts,
-whether she preferred dancing on a carpet or the bare boards: to which
-the young lady replied, having looked down to see what the floor was
-(that she might not “put her foot in it,” figuratively speaking), that
-she preferred a carpet, she thought: and this was the beginning and end
-of the conversation.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-A sample of this variety fixed himself upon us once, as we were taking a
-stroll, merely upon the intimacy of a casual party introduction two or
-three weeks before, where we had procured him some trifle at supper,
-solely because we did not choose to run the chance of allowing him to
-approach the table and stand near the pretty girl over whose white
-shoulder we stretched our arm to help him. We found out that he was
-minutely particular about his deportment in the street, and a pretty
-treat we gave him. First of all we rattled our stick against the area
-railings of the houses: then we bought penny bunches of cherries at the
-stalls, and munched them as we went along, continually pressing him to
-take some, or propelling the stones, six at a time, along the pavement
-in front of us. We cut off the angles of all the squares, and ran very
-fast across all the crossings; and then took off a little boy’s cap, and
-carried it a short way with us, to provoke a few salutations in our
-wake, of that pleasing and forcible kind which only little boys in the
-streets can give with such piquancy of expression. We finally got rid of
-him by insisting upon stopping at the corner of Berners Street to see
-_Punch_—an exhibition we never, by any means, omit playing audience to:
-although we know many Gents who think their station in society would be
-lost for ever, were they once observed taking an interest in any thing
-half so common.
-
-There is a peculiar race of Gents to be seen, through the windows,
-lounging in tobacco-shops; some leaning against the counter, others
-seated on tubs, or occupying the like positions. This employment is
-another variety of what Gents think “fast.”
-
-[Illustration]
-
-The presiding goddess of this temple of smoke is a scantily educated
-woman, who has been more or less pretty at some time or another; but
-still retains, it would seem, sufficient attraction to draw the Gents
-about her. Here they will pass hours, finding intense pleasure in her
-commonplace uninteresting conversation—retailing dull jokes, worn-out
-anecdotes, or vapid inevitable puns to each other; and staring at any
-casual purchaser who may enter the shop, as if he were an intruder on
-their domain.
-
-There are the Gents, also, who are afterwards seen in the theatres at
-half-price: in the slips during the performances, and in the saloon
-during the _entr’acte_—the class who, whilst they carry on brisk
-conversation and smart repartees (of a sort) with the least reputable in
-public life, form the vapid nonentities of private society when females
-are present. They are men, to use a phrase more expressive than elegant,
-strongly addicted to _bear parties_—who think “a glass of grog and a
-weed” the acme of social enjoyment, and who look upon all entertainments
-that throw them into the society of ladies, or, indeed, any one of
-intellect and refinement, as bores. They are the great men at the night
-taverns, before alluded to. All that is, however, harmless in its way;
-for the majority of those houses are exceedingly well conducted: and,
-indeed, it is only the Gents of the lowest sphere who deem it spirited
-to mix themselves up, in other resorts, with the ruffians of the ring
-and the most degraded of either sex, in an atmosphere of oaths and
-odours, where indecency is mistaken for broad humour and dull slang for
-first-rate wit.
-
-It is the cheap tailor who advertises, to whom this style of Gent goes
-for his clothes. He is caught by the poetry and the names of the
-articles related; as well as of the establishment, whether it be
-“Paletot Palace,” “the Kingdom of Kerseymere,” or “the Walhalla of
-waistcoats,” as it is termed in those small but lively works of fiction
-thrown with such unsparing liberality through the windows of railway
-omnibuses. The following is an announcement peculiar to the
-Frankensteins of these strange creations. We have written it, and
-present the copy-right to any of them that may choose to adopt it.
-
-
- TRIUMPHS OF BRITISH VALOUR.
-
- Fame’s trumpet says we’ve had victories enough,
- And our great soldiers leave their arms to follow the plough:
- But first to London they came with their retinues complete;
- Everybody makes a holiday to join in the fête.
- Gents’ clothes now are cheap; buy, if you have not,
- And go to Sholomansh’s celebrated depot.
- Mark their drab Chesterfield of the first water,
- With the first rain ’twill shrink three inches shorter.
- Twelve shillings new—it surely can’t be dear,
- And warranted to wear for half the year.
- The celebrated window-cleaning blouse,
- To buy at six-and-six you can’t refuse.
- The pound dress-coat is worthy of all praise,
- And fashionably made of fine black baize.
- With contract suits they build for eager nobs,
- In the most dashing style of Sunday snobs.
- Coarse cloth, rude work, bad cutting, and quick wear,
- With Sholomansh what other can compare?
- And recollect—old suits to be return’d
- If when worn out they’re not worth being burned.
- To suit all climes, Iceland and Ararat,
- For cash he’ll dress you out, and with eclat.
-
-
- LIST OF PRICES.
-
- £ s. d.
-
- Dress coats, warranted to wear three 1 10 0
- weeks
-
- Ditto trowsers, fashionable plaid or 0 9 6
- railroad
-
- Splendid vests, of the revolving 0 5 6
- bottle-jack style
-
- Pasha and Taglioni wrappers, of the last 0 16 0
- horse-cloth out-for-the-day
- half-price-to-the-play pattern
-
- Young Gent’s Rob Roy, and Glenalvon 0 15 0
- dresses
-
- Montemolin cloak, 9 yards round, 1 10 0
- warranted to hide the seediest clothes
-
- Metropolitan shooting costume, for the 2 15 0
- fields in the vicinity of London
- (complete)
-
- Fashionable Epping hunting-coat 1 10 0
-
- Racket blouses and morning tenderdens, 0 3 6
- adapted to Gents in the Queen’s Bench,
- from
-
-
- A large assortment. Terms cash.
-
- _Vivat Regina._ No money returned.
-
-
- N.B.—Observe the Address: SHOLOMANSH,
- CHEAP TAILOR and GENT-FITTER, CITY.
-
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIII.
-
- THE GENTS VIEWED WITH RESPECT TO THEIR EXTINCTION.
-
-
-IF ANY influential member, bent upon being of service to his country,
-would bring in a bill for the “Total Repeal of the Gents,” he would
-confer the greatest benefit on society; for until they are entirely
-knocked on the head, our public amusements can never be conducted with
-the propriety which distinguishes those of Paris.
-
-We believe, with sorrow, that this offensive race of individuals is
-peculiar to our own country: we know of no foreign type answering to
-them. If persons establishing resorts where they mostly congregate,
-could take out an assurance against Gents, as they do against fire, what
-a blessing it would be!
-
-We think it would be an excellent plan for respectable electors to make
-members pledge themselves to vote for the heavy taxation of various
-articles in which Gents chiefly delight. In this tariff we would have
-blue stocks; large breast-pins; snaffle coat-studs; curled hair;
-collar-galled hacks; Spanish dances; Cellarius waltzes; Caledonian
-quadrilles; lithographed beauties, plain and coloured; cheap cigars;
-large pattern trowsers; gay under-waistcoats or “vests;” thick sticks;
-short canes; walking-whips; and boxes of omnibuses, as distinguished
-from omnibus boxes. If the Gents could not enjoy these things without
-paying heavy prices for them they would go without; for a great effect
-at a small outlay is the main intention of all their follies.
-
-And we also think it might be serviceable towards the great end of
-putting Gents out altogether, when any one chances to say, “I know a
-Gent,” to exclaim immediately either “You know a _what_?” in accents of
-horror, or “You look as if you did!” in a tone of contempt, to bring him
-to a sense of his miserable position—in whichever way you think will
-best work upon his feelings.
-
-Doudney, Moses, Prew, and Hyams! patrons as ye are of literature
-generally, and poets especially! by whose influence the taste of the
-Gents is in some measure guided, help us to effect some little reform!
-Do not, we beseech you, allow your emblazoned window-tickets to lead
-this wretched race into such strange ideas respecting the “fashions” as
-they are wont to indulge in. Abolish all those little pasteboard
-scutcheons which point out your gaudy fabrics as “Novel,” “The Style,”
-“Splendid,” “The Thing,” “Parisian,” and the like. Cut their waistcoats,
-in charity, as if you intended them for gentlemen instead of Gents.
-Reform your own bills, and appeal not to the sympathies with such wild
-innovations: and persuade the literary Gent who writes those charming
-little _brochures_ about your establishments—whispered to be the light
-contributor to Blackwood’s Magazine—which are presented gratuitously
-with the periodicals, to lead the minds of the Gents into another
-channel. Let them no longer imagine that the usual method of dressing of
-an acknowledged leader of fashion—the gentleman of the greatest taste in
-England—is in a puckered six-and-threepenny blouse with braid round the
-pockets (for such is the garment that bears his name), a rainbow-tinted
-stock, drugget-pattern trowsers, and nine-and-sixpenny broad-brimmed
-hats. Do this, and send all your present stock to America.
-
-Editors of Sporting Papers! you are renowned for obliging courtesy:
-assist the good work with your able pens, by never allowing the term
-“Sporting Gent” to appear in your columns, whether he undertakes to
-drive a pony to death, match his dog to be torn to pieces last in a
-struggle, or advance a pecuniary inducement for two savages to pummel
-each other’s heads to jelly. Did you ever see a “Sporting Gent?” You
-must have done so; and you have noted his coarse hands, his flattened
-fingers, and dubby nails; his common green coat, his slang handkerchief,
-and his low hat: his dreary conversation entirely confined to wiredrawn
-accounts of wagers he has won, and matches he can make for any thing.
-Never give him a chance of attaining publicity, and he will go out and
-disappear altogether, leaving the coast clear for gentlemen.
-
-We are not altogether without a hope that, by strong and energetic
-measures, the Gents may be put down—this would be a real “improved
-condition of the people” much to be desired. A Court of Propriety might
-be established at which Gents could be convicted of misdemeanors against
-what is usually considered _comme-il-faut_. And punishments might be
-awarded proportionate to the nature of the offence. For a heavy one a
-Gent might be transported for fourteen days into good society, where he
-would be especially wretched; for a light one he might enter into heavy
-recognizances not to smoke cigars on omnibuses or steamers, not to wear
-any thing but quiet colours, not to say he knew actresses, and not to
-whistle when he entered a tavern, or, with his fellows, laugh loudly at
-nothing, when ensconced in his box there, for any time not exceeding the
-same period. A Court of Requests would be of no use; for it is of little
-avail requesting the Gents to do any thing. Compulsion alone would
-reform them.
-
-We trust the day will come—albeit we feel it will not be in our
-time—when the Gent will be an extinct species; his “effigies,” as the
-old illustrated books have it, being alone preserved in museums. And
-then this treatise may be regarded as those zoological papers are now
-which treat of the Dodo: and the hieroglyphics of coaches and horses,
-pheasants, foxes’ heads, and sporting dogs found on the huge white
-buttons of his wrapper, will be regarded with as much curiosity, and
-possibly will give rise to as much discussion and investigation as the
-ibises and scarabæi in the Egyptian Room of the British Museum. We hope
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-<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Natural History of the Gent, by Albert Smith</div>
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-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Natural History of the Gent</p>
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-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Albert Smith</div>
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-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: September 17, 2021 [eBook #66323]</div>
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-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c000' />
-</div>
-<div class='figcenter id001'>
-<img src='images/frontis.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-<div class='ic002'>
-<p>“Come along, my r-r-r-r-rummy cove; come along! how are you? how d’ye do? here we are my bricksywicksywicksy!!!”</p>
-</div>
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div>
- <h1 class='c002'><span class='c003'>THE NATURAL HISTORY</span><br /> <br />OF<br /> <br /><span class='c004'>THE GENT.</span></h1>
-</div>
-
-<div class='figcenter id003'>
-<img src='images/publogo.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c001'>
- <div><span class='c005'>BY ALBERT SMITH.</span></div>
- <div class='c006'>LONDON:</div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='c007'>DAVID BOGUE, 86 FLEET STREET.</span></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='c008'>MDCCCXLVII.</span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c009'>
- <div>LONDON:</div>
- <div class='c000'>VIZETELLY BROTHERS AND CO. PRINTERS AND ENGRAVERS,</div>
- <div class='c000'>PETERBOROUGH COURT, FLEET STREET.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_v'>v</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>PREFACE.</h2>
-</div>
-<p class='c011'><span class='sc'>In</span> the Sunday newspapers of May 24, of
-the past year, 1846, appeared the following
-paragraph:—</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c001'>
- <div>MARYLEBONE.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c012'>A “<span class='sc'>Gent</span>.”—A respectable-looking man, named
-James Dickenson, was charged by Brooks, 169 S,
-who said, “Please your worship, at two o’clock
-yesterday morning (Monday), I found this ‘gent’
-drunk in Park Road, and took him into custody.”</p>
-
-<p class='c013'><i>Mr. Rawlinson</i>: Who do you say you found
-drunk?</p>
-
-<p class='c013'><i>Constable</i>: This “gent,” your worship.</p>
-
-<p class='c013'><i>Mr. Rawlinson</i>: What do you mean by “gent?”
-There is no such word in our language. I hold a
-man who is called a “gent” to be the greatest
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_vi'>vi</span>blackguard there is. (To the prisoner): What do
-you say to this? I hope you are not a “gent.”</p>
-
-<p class='c013'><i>Prisoner</i>: I am not, sir, and I trust that I know
-the distinction between a “gent” and a “gentleman.”</p>
-
-<p class='c013'><i>Mr. Rawlinson</i>: I dare say you do, sir, and I
-look upon the word “gent” as one of the most
-blackguard expressions that can be used.</p>
-
-<p class='c013'>The prisoner was fined 5<i>s.</i>, which he directly
-paid.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>We were exceedingly delighted when we
-read this police report. We had laboured, for
-three or four years, to bring the race of
-Gents into universal contempt; and we at
-last found that an intelligent and respected
-London magistrate had publicly stated, from
-the bench, his opinion of the miserable class
-in question; and that it exactly coincided with
-our own. But fearing—from seeing the odious
-word still starting up in shops, ticketed to wild
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_vii'>vii</span>articles of dress, to be hereafter alluded to, as
-well as hearing it every now and then applied
-by one “party” to another of his acquaintance—that
-the species was not yet extinct; fearing
-this, in spite of our direct attacks in <i>Punch</i> and
-<i>Bentley’s Miscellany</i>, and our side-wind blows
-through the medium of our esteemed friend
-John Parry, certain burlesques at the Lyceum,
-and various other channels—we determined
-upon reconsidering all we had ever propounded
-on the subject, and publishing it in the form
-now presented to the reader, that all might
-clearly see who the Gents were, and shun them
-accordingly.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>And so we leave our little book in your
-hands, published at a price, as a prospectus
-always says, “that will bring it within the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_viii'>viii</span>reach of all classes.” And we request your
-co-operation towards the great end of putting
-Gents out altogether. For they form an offensive
-body, of more importance than you would
-at first conceive; and both public and private
-society will be much benefited by their extinction.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id004'>
-<img src='images/i008.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c001'>
- <div><span class='pageno' id='Page_1'>1</span><span class='c004'>THE NATURAL HISTORY</span></div>
- <div class='c000'>OF</div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='c016'>THE GENT.</span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER I.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>WHAT THE GENT IS GENERALLY.</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i001.jpg' width='200' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-<span class='sc'>The</span> species of the human race,
-to the consideration of which
-we are about to draw the
-attention of the reader,
-is of all others the most
-unbearable, principally from an assumption of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_2'>2</span>style about him—a futile aping of superiority
-that inspires us with feelings of mingled contempt
-and amusement, when we contemplate
-his ridiculous pretensions to be considered
-“the thing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>The Gent is of comparatively late creation.
-He has sprung from the original rude untutored
-man by combinations of chance and cultivation,
-in the same manner as the later varieties
-of fancy pippins have been produced by the
-devices of artful market-gardeners, from the
-original stock wild crab of the hedges. The
-fashion which Gents have of occasionally addressing
-one another as “my pippin” favours
-this analogy: and when they use this figure of
-speech, they pronounce it as follows,—placing
-great stress on the first letter, and then waiting
-awhile for the rest,—“Ullo, my P—ippin!”</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>After much diligent investigation, we find
-no mention made of the Gent in the writings
-of authors who flourished antecedent to the
-last ten years.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'><span class='pageno' id='Page_3'>3</span>In the older works we meet with “<i>bucks</i>”
-and “<i>gay blades</i>” and “<i>pretty fellows</i>;” and
-later with “<i>men upon town</i>,” “<i>swells</i>” and
-“<i>downy ones</i>,” or “<i>knowing coves</i>:” but the
-pure Gent comes not under any of these orders.
-He was not known in these times. He is
-scarcely understood now so universally as we
-could wish; but we trust that his real character
-will, before long, be properly appreciated.
-He is evidently the result of a variety of our
-present condition of society—that constant
-wearing struggle to appear something more
-than we in reality are, which now characterizes
-every body, both in their public and private
-phases.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Our attention was first called to the Gents in
-the following manner:—</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>We were in the habit of occasionally coming
-into contact with certain individuals, who when
-they spoke of their acquaintances were accustomed
-to say “I know a Gent,” or, “A Gent
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_4'>4</span>told me.” Never by any good luck did we
-hear them speak of Gentlemen. But it occurred
-that we chanced, on future occasions, to
-see one or two of the Gents above alluded
-to, and then we understood what they were.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id005'>
-<img src='images/i004.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>The first Gent we ever saw, we encountered
-on the roof of an omnibus, with his hat a little
-on one side, and a staring shawl round his
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_5'>5</span>neck. He was also smoking a cigar, as he sat
-next to the driver, in order that he might reap
-the benefit of his anecdotes and remarks concerning
-the horses and vehicle, to which the
-Gent replied at intervals, “Ah,” and “Yes,”
-and “I should say not,” and “Just so,” with
-other similar phrases used to fill up unmeaning
-dialogue. We heard him speak of “a Party
-he knew,” and he was very much interested at
-hearing that the off-horse worked “in the fust
-bus as ever Shillibeer started, and was took
-from the Angel to be put on the Elephant.”
-He was also informed of the singular speculation
-in which “the guvner give a fippun note
-for that little mare, and was offered eight
-sovrins for her within a week, though she was
-a reg’lar bag o’ bones;” upon which the Gent
-observed that “very often those sort of horses
-were the best.” Having delivered himself of
-which opinion, he rolled his cigar about in his
-mouth, gave a whiff in our face, and then
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_6'>6</span>removed it between his middle and ring-finger,
-to offer it to another Gent on the roof, who
-begged the favour of a light.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id006'>
-<img src='images/i007.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>The next Gent we met was in the street.
-He wore large check trowsers of the true light
-comedian pattern, which appeared to have been
-made expressly for Mr. Walter Lacy, or Mr.
-Wright: and he had on a short odd coat;
-such a one as that in which Mr. Buckstone
-might be expected to go to a ball. He carried
-a little stick of no earthly use, with a horse’s
-silver hoof on the top of it, which he kept to his
-lips always; and he also patronised the staring
-shawl and cigar; and he evidently imagined that
-he was “rather the Stilton than otherwise”—“<i>Stilton</i>”
-or “<i>cheese</i>” being terms by which
-Gents imply style or fashion. He was pursuing
-a pretty girl of modest deportment, who was
-possibly going home—for it was evening, when
-Gents and cheap umbrellas chiefly flourish—after
-her hard day’s toil at a bonnet-shop. The Gent
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_7'>7</span>had not the sense to see that his advances were
-repulsed with scorn and indignation. He
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_8'>8</span>imagined that by addressing his coarse annoying
-gallantry to an unprotected girl, he was
-acting as if he was “upon town,” “a fast
-man,” “up to a thing or two,” or some other
-such epithet, which it is the ambition of the
-Gent to get attached to his name.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id005'>
-<img src='images/i009.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>We met the next Gent in the boxes at one
-of the theatres, whither he had come in the
-full-dress of a light blue stock, and cleaned
-white gloves re-dirtied. We knew they had
-been cleaned; they exhaled a faint camphine
-odour, as he put his hand on the brass rail and
-leant over us, and there was none of that sharpness
-of outline in their dirt which new gloves
-evince: it was denser, cloudier, more universal;
-and the knuckles and nails were remarkably
-so. This Gent also had a little stick.
-He lighted a cigar at the lobby-lamp on
-leaving the house, and pulled a staring shawl
-out of his hat as he whistled an air from one
-of the burlesques. He went over to the Albion,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_9'>9</span>the room of which was quite full; and after
-standing in the centre for a few seconds—tapping
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_10'>10</span>his teeth with his stick, whilst his left
-hand was thrust into the hinder pocket of his
-coat, dragged round to his hip—apparently
-disgusted at not creating any sensation, he
-turned round on his heel, and crossing Covent
-Garden, ultimately dived into Evans’s.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Then we thought that the Gents must be
-a race by themselves, which social naturalists
-had overlooked, deserving some attention; and
-we determined to study their habits, and allot
-to them a certain position which at that time
-they did not appear to have.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id003'>
-<img src='images/i010.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_11'>11</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER II.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE MANNER BY WHICH GENTS ARE KNOWN.</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i011.jpg' width='300' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-<span class='sc'>Experience</span> proves that
-pictures are the best
-media for conveying information
-at the outset
-of tuition. Hence,
-in the study of Natural
-History, for
-instance, tyros learn the animals with their letters:
-their hornbooks have zoological alphabets,
-coloured in tints more or less eccentric; and,
-although led away by the representations, they
-sometimes read “A for donkey, B for great
-cow, C for poor puss,” yet, on the whole, the
-way is a good one.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'><span class='pageno' id='Page_12'>12</span>So, we will teach those not yet well up in the
-manner, by pictures, how they may know the
-Gents.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>The finest specimens may be seen in the
-coloured “Fashions,” with which certain comically-disposed
-tailors adorn their windows. In
-these presumed representations of prevalent
-style, some favourite west-end locality is taken
-for the background; and, in front, are many
-Gents, in such attitudes as may display their
-figures and little boots to the best advantage.
-Some are supposed to be arrayed for an evening
-party, in green dress-coats and puce tights.
-Some, again, are represented as sportsmen,
-with pinched-in waists, that the shock of the
-first leap, or the kick of the first shot, would
-knock in half; and others are promenade Gents,
-in frock coats and corded trowsers, bowing to
-one another with much grace, or leading little
-Gents by the hand, who look like animated
-daguerreotypes of themselves. Well, then,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_13'>13</span>these are Gents, <i>pur sang</i>. Observe, as the
-showman says, observe their fashionably-shaped
-hats, their Lilliputian boots, their tiny gloves.
-There is no deception. Observe that all their
-positions are evidently the result of much study;
-and that the greater part of them have one arm
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_14'>14</span>elevated, and the palm open, with the air of a
-conjurer when he says,—“You will perceive I
-have nothing in my hand.”</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id005'>
-<img src='images/i013.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>Of the same family as these Gents, are the
-fashionable loungers in pantomimes, who walk
-about with the distinguished females in the
-scanty <i>visites</i> of pink glazed calico, trimmed
-with ermine; and the lovers in the blue coats
-and white trowsers on the sixpenny valentines,
-who direct the attention of the adored one to
-the distant village church.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id007'>
-<img src='images/i014.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_15'>15</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER III.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE CHIEF OUTWARD CHARACTERISTICS OF THE GENT.</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i015.jpg' width='300' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-<span class='sc'>One</span> has only to
-look into the advertisements
-of
-cheap tailors, and
-the windows of
-ticketed shops, to
-form a very good
-notion of the
-other principal
-marks by which
-the Gent may be distinguished.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'><span class='pageno' id='Page_16'>16</span>It should be borne in mind, that the main
-object of the Gent is to assume a position
-which he conceives to be superior to his own.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Now this, he fancies, is in a great measure
-accomplished by out-of-the-way clothes—a
-mark of superiority which has the advantage
-of requiring but a small outlay of intellect;
-and cunning manufacturers invent things on
-purpose to suit this taste, as the men of Manchester
-export gay-coloured, large-figured patterns
-for the negroes.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>For him the cheap Tailor announces the
-“Gent’s Vest”—which is the Hebrew for
-“Snob’s Waistcoat”—as patronised by the
-nobility. To catch his eye alone, are the
-representations of men of <i>ton</i> put at the side of
-the advertisements; and, for his inspection, do
-the dummies stand at the doors of the shops,
-invested in the splendour of an entire suit, with
-an impossible waist, “made to measure for the
-same terms.”</p>
-
-<p class='c015'><span class='pageno' id='Page_17'>17</span>And we may observe that the Gents usually
-speak of their get-up as <i>the ticket</i>—the term
-possibly being used in allusion to the badge
-which distinguished their various articles of dress
-when exposed for sale. And, in writing these,
-the leaning of the Gents towards distinguished
-associations is very evident. A great coat
-must be a “Chesterfield,” a “Taglioni,” or a
-“Codrington;” a little rag of coloured silk for
-the neck is called a “Byron Tie;” and so on.
-If the things are not dignified by these terms,
-the Gent does not think much of them.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>To his taste does the ready-made Shoemaker
-appeal in the short fancy <i>Alberts</i>,
-ticketed “The Fashion.” If you are accustomed
-to derive a little gratuitous amusement
-from shop windows, as you go along the streets,
-you will see in them the funniest things, meant
-for the Gents, that it is possible to conceive.
-The most favourite style of <i>chaussure</i> is a species
-of cloth-boot, with a shiny-leather toe, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_18'>18</span>a close row of little mother-of-pearl shirt-buttons
-down the front; not for any purpose,
-for they are simply sewn on, the real method
-of fastening on the brodequin being by the
-humble lace and tag of domestic life, at the
-side.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id005'>
-<img src='images/i018.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>But it is with the Haberdashers that the
-toilet of the Gents comes out strongest.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>You will see “Gents’ Dress Kid” ticketed in
-the window. Be ye sure that they are large
-sized, awkwardly cut, yellow kid gloves, at
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_19'>19</span>one-and-sixpence. The tint is evidently a
-weakness with the Gents, who think them
-dashing, and say they come from <i>Hoobegongs</i>.
-But the merchants, lacking discrimination, believe
-that the predisposition is general. We
-will wager a dozen pairs of them that you
-never went into one of these establishments,
-and simply and decidedly demanded a pair
-of white kid gloves, but you were immediately
-asked “if you would not prefer straw-coloured?”</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>And then the stocks—what marvellous
-cravats they form! Blue always the favourite
-colour—blue, with gold sprigs! blue, with a
-crimson floss-silk flower! blue Joinvilles, with
-rainbow ends! And, if they are black and
-long, they are fashioned into quaint conceits:
-Frills of black satin down the front, or bands
-of the same fabric looking like an imitation of
-crimped skate; or studs of jet made like
-buttons, as if the Gent wore a cheap, black
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_20'>20</span>satin shirt, and that was where it fastened.
-And the white stocks are more fanciful still.
-They are not very popular in their simple
-form; for the Gents feel that they cannot help
-looking like waiters in them; and so a little
-illegitimate finery is necessary. Hence they
-have lace ends, like the stamped papers from
-the top of <i>bon-bon</i> and French plum boxes.
-And the effect in society is very fine.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id007'>
-<img src='images/i021.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>The Jewellers consult the Gents, and for
-them manufacture various dashing articles in
-electro-gold. Some of the ornaments for the
-cravat are like large white currants, with gilt
-eels twisting round them; and others like
-blanket-pins with water on the brain. We
-have also seen some sporting Gents—of whom
-we shall hereafter speak—with mosaic gold
-heads of horses and foxes stuck in their stocks.
-And they love rings in profusion, which we
-have seen them at times wear outside their
-gloves. But this, perhaps, was an advantage,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_21'>21</span>as Gents are accustomed, in general, to wear
-their hands large and red, with flattened ends
-to the fingers.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id007'>
-<img src='images/i022.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>It is for the Gents to buy, that the print-sellers
-put forward those dreary pictures of the
-<i>Pets of the Ballet</i>; consisting chiefly of chubby
-young persons, in short petticoats and ungraceful
-attitudes, like nothing ever seen on the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_22'>22</span>stage anywhere; and coloured lithographs of
-housemaids cleaning steps; and chambermaids
-with flat candlesticks in their hands; and
-women with large black dots of eyes and heavy
-ringlets, trying on shoes. One was very popular
-a little time ago. It represented a young
-lady something between a hairdresser’s dummy
-and a barmaid, with a man’s coat and hat on
-over her own dress. She was looking through
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_23'>23</span>an eye-glass at the top of a whip, and underneath
-was written “<i>damme!</i>”—why, or wherefore,
-or in what relation to the singular mode
-of toilet she has adopted, or what the word
-itself meant in the abstract, we never could
-make out. But the Gents seemed to know
-all about it, and bought the picture furiously.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>By the tokens above mentioned—including
-always the staring shawl and the <i>al fresco</i>
-cigar—you may know the Gent when you see
-him, even if you met him on the top of Mont
-Blanc—a place, however, where you are not
-very likely to encounter him. He prefers
-Windmill Hill.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id008'>
-<img src='images/i023.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_24'>24</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER IV.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE GENT AT THE THEATRE.</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i024.jpg' width='250' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-<span class='sc'>When</span> the Promenade Concerts
-usurped the place of the
-regular Drama at our
-theatres, and Kœnig and
-Musard occupied the places
-of Kean and Macready—when
-Juliet was neglected
-for Jullien, Prospero for Prospère, and
-Viola for the violins, the Gent was exceedingly
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_25'>25</span>gratified thereby. The Promenade became his
-Paradise; and he used to walk round and
-round, keeping his face towards the audience
-(admiring the young ladies in the dress tier),
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_26'>26</span>with the pertinacity of the grand banners in
-stage processions; which, painted only on one
-side, appear to be endowed with some heliotropic
-principle, that causes their emblazoned
-surfaces to revolve always on the same plane
-with the footlights. But, whilst the Gent
-conceived that he was here “doing it—rather,”
-in the railway trowsers and dazzling stock, he
-totally forgot that the true <i>flaneur</i> would appear
-in something like evening costume, although he
-might not altogether adopt the extreme <i>rigueur</i>.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id004'>
-<img src='images/i025.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>We were rather inquieted as to what the
-Gents would do when these concerts closed.
-We made great search, and found at length
-that the majority emigrated to the musical
-taverns, where they contrived to get through
-the evening under the combined influence of
-Bellini, bottled beer, and brandy-and-water;
-deriving additional excitement from the novelty
-of seeing Somnambula performed through a
-haze of tobacco-smoke.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id004'>
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_27'>27</span>
-<img src='images/i028.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>But the theatre proper, is a favourite resort
-of the Gent, and half-price to the boxes his
-usual plan of patronising it; more especially
-when there is a ballet. Of the different parts
-of the house he prefers the slips. If you are
-seated opposite, you will see him come in about
-nine o’clock, and, leaving the panel door open,
-he stands on the seat, with his hands in his
-pockets, his stick under his arm, and thus
-makes his observations. Presently getting disgusted
-at the want of respect shown to him by
-an old gentleman in front, who is watching the
-performance most intently, with his head reclining
-on his arms, which are again supported
-by the rail, and who requests that he will have
-the goodness to shut the door, the Gent walks
-grandly away, and goes round to the other side,
-evidently conceiving that his dignity has been
-hurt. Here the same process of observation is
-repeated; and, if the Gent sees a pretty girl in
-a private box, he stares unflinchingly at her,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_28'>28</span>until he thinks he has made an impression.
-And this is a strange lunatic notion with Gents
-of every degree: they believe they have powers
-to fascinate every female upon whom they cast
-their eyes, never thinking of the utter contempt
-always excited by such obtrusiveness on
-the part of an entire stranger.</p>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_29'>29</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER V.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE GENT, AFTER THE PLAY, AT A TAVERN.</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i029.jpg' width='300' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-<span class='sc'>By</span> the following
-signs may the
-Gent at this period
-be known:
-He walketh six
-abreast under the
-Piazza, singing a
-negro air in chorus;
-and, perchance, danceth a lively measure
-to the <i>refrain</i>, until he arriveth at the entrance
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_30'>30</span>of Evans’s Grand Hotel. He descendeth the
-stairs, and, on entering the room, he goeth to the
-upper end thereof; and, having greeted the singers
-with a wink, calleth out “Charles!” No response
-being made by the waiter, he rappeth with
-his stick upon the table, until the peppercastor
-falleth on the floor; for which unseemly conduct
-Evans mildly reproveth him. He taketh
-a sight at Evans in return, when he can do so
-unobserved, and saith that he liketh him not so
-well as Rhodes: and then he calleth “Henry!”
-Being served with the rabbit of Wales, he
-saith to the funny singer,—“How are you, old
-feller!” and presseth him to partake of his
-grog. He proffereth a prayer that the funny
-singer will oblige him with a particular song.
-The funny singer complieth; and the Gent
-singeth the chorus, prolonging it far beyond
-the proper length, to the indignation of Evans.
-At its conclusion, his animal spirits and enthusiastic
-approbation impel him to call out—“Bravo,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_31'>31</span>Rouse!” which promoteth political
-dissension amongst the guests. Evans telleth
-him “that he cannot have the harmony of the
-room disturbed by one individual”—a sentiment
-which the Gent applaudeth lustily, and
-ordereth some champagne, which he drinketh,
-with the singers, from a tankard. The anger
-of Evans is in a measure appeased. The Gent
-joineth in a glee at the wrong time; but turneth
-away wrath by buying a copy of it when
-finished. He ordereth more champagne, and
-believeth that he is taken by the room for a
-“Lord about town.” He saith he hath a pony
-that he will back against every other to do
-every thing. He talketh of actresses, and
-winketh mysteriously. He telleth the funny
-singer that if he will come and see him at his
-little place in the city, he will put him up to a
-thing or two. At last he getteth troublesome,
-and is coaxed away by his companions. The
-next morning he saith what a spree he had, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_32'>32</span>that he sat opposite to an officer who knew one
-of the ballet, and had spoken to her once behind
-the scenes; and so he thinketh that he
-hath a link with the great world. But yet,
-upon reflection, he hath not.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id006'>
-<img src='images/i032.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_33'>33</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER VI.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE GENT IN THE OPEN AIR.</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i033.jpg' width='300' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-<span class='sc'>The</span> most popular lounging
-thoroughfares of the west-end,
-such as Regent Street,
-the Burlington Arcade,
-Bond Street, or Piccadilly,
-are not those in
-which the Gents are to
-be often encountered in the day-time. The majority
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_34'>34</span>of them have evidently occupations, which
-keep them somewhere until four or five o’clock,
-so that they never come out in their full force
-until dusk, except on holidays; and then
-the short steamboats are the best places
-to find them. In fine weather, they discard
-the staring shawl for a blue handkerchief,
-with white spots; and then they provide
-themselves with a cigar (the cigar again!), a
-bottle of stout, and a Sunday paper, and, from
-the edge of the paddle-box, or from the top of
-the cabin, defy the world. You can find out
-their locality by the vapour of the cigar, as the
-“smoke which so gracefully curled” showed
-the author of “The Woodpecker” that he was
-in the vicinity of a cottage. If you cannot
-discover them by this sign, you must look
-out for their studs—they have a great idea
-of studs—usually like blue raspberries, which
-you will find glittering in the sun. If, by
-chance, they wear a long stock, then they have
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_35'>35</span>two pins and a chain; but such pins! and such
-a chain! You can never see any thing like
-them, unless you go to the Lowther Arcade;
-and there, amongst those wondrous collections
-of ornamental and useful articles which strew
-that thoroughfare—for all the houses appear to
-have turned themselves and their contents out
-of the window—you will find similar ones;
-meant, however, if we mistake not, for the
-back plaits of ladies’ hair. And this reminds
-us that the Lowther Arcade is a favourite
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_36'>36</span>lounge with the Gents: it is possible that, from
-the glittering stores here displayed, they acquire
-their taste for jewellery. The Lowther
-Arcade is to the men in the city chambers
-what the Burlington is to the denizens of the
-Albany. It is, as it were, the frontier between
-the two hemispheres of London life, to which
-position it lays some claim, inasmuch as when
-very crowded, a personal examination of effects
-sometimes takes place on passing it. And
-great is the throng here of an afternoon, principally
-composed of Gents and seedy foreigners,
-walking up an appetite for the incomprehensible
-carte of Berthollini; or a doubtful cross between
-these two varieties of the human species,
-found, upon investigation, to be attached to
-billiard-tables. And, by the way, remember,
-that of all the scamps upon town, your billiard-table
-<i>habitués</i> are the darkest. Here they walk
-up and down for hours, loading the air with the
-products of combustion from their cheap cigars,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_37'>37</span>(cigars again!) puffing the smoke into every
-bonnet they meet, or standing at the entrance
-with a whip in their hands, as though they had
-just got off their horse, and were keeping an
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_38'>38</span>appointment. But in reality they have no
-horse, nor do they expect any body.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id005'>
-<img src='images/i035.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='figcenter id005'>
-<img src='images/i037.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>There are several loungers at this part of
-the town, who belong neither to the race of
-Gents nor Foreigners, and certainly are not
-military, although they evidently wish to be
-considered so; to whom we may briefly allude;
-for they partake, in a slight degree, of the
-characteristics of the former. They wear
-mustaches and curious frock-coats, sometimes
-with dabs of braid about them. Their hair is
-wiry and dark, and they are constantly arranging
-it with their hands. Sometimes they
-are seen with spurs; occasionally they carry
-a black cane, shouldered like a gun, twisted
-round their arm, with its head in their pocket,
-held upside down, in any way but the normal
-one. Day after day, when it is fine; nay,
-year after year; there they are, true <i>batteurs
-de pavé</i>. You may follow them for hours, and
-you will never see them speak to, or recognised
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_39'>39</span>by, any body. They do not even commune
-with each other. Nobody knows them;
-they belong to no club, and are never seen
-anywhere else. And it is remarkable that,
-like butterflies, you only come across them in
-bright weather. Where they go to at other
-times we cannot tell; we shall never be able
-to do so, until we have solved two other similar
-enigmas with respect to pins and bluebottles;
-and their ultimate destination is, to our thinking,
-the greatest marvel of the present day.
-For the corpses of the latter, found in grocers’
-windows and saucers of unacknowledged poisons,
-and the rusty remains of the former discovered
-between boards, bear no comparison to the
-numbers that have existed. This disappearance
-is as remarkable as the generation of the fine
-woolly substance you find in the corner of your
-waistcoat pocket, where you have only kept a
-pencil-case and latch-key. But this by the way.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id004'>
-<img src='images/i040.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>We have said the Gent likes to be outside
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_40'>40</span>an omnibus. But he also loves the roof—literally,
-the roof; and he almost rejoices when
-he finds that the box is full, and he is obliged
-to perch there; for his mind appears to be
-brightened by his position, and many eccentricities
-are induced. He nods to other passengers
-as they pass, in a familiar manner,
-causing them to puzzle themselves almost into
-insanity during the remainder of the day, in
-endeavours to recollect who he could have
-been. He winks at the elder pupils of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_41'>41</span>promenading Hammersmith academies, if on
-their road; and tells old ladies, when they get
-out to go away, to give his love at home, and
-that he will be sure to write to them. He
-also has a cigar here, and he offers one to the
-coachman and other passengers. Before stages
-were exterminated the Gent preferred the
-box just the same; indeed, he felt in a measure
-degraded if he could not get it; and
-when the coachman got down he liked to hold
-the reins and whip in the proper manner, and
-show people that he was perfectly used to such
-a thing, and, for aught they could tell, might
-have a four-in-hand of his own.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>A variety of this last style of Gent, whom
-we may call the Driving Gent, has lately come
-up about town. We were in the Strand the
-other afternoon, and suddenly heard some notes
-from a post-horn, very badly blown; upon
-which we looked round, and saw a dog-cart approaching,
-with two horses to it, driven tandem
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_42'>42</span>fashion, with ferret-bells on their bearing reins.
-On this dog-cart were four Gents—not two
-gentlemen and two servants, as might have
-been expected. They were all dressed nearly
-alike; hats with narrow brims, coats with
-large buttons, staring shawls, and trowsers
-of the most prominent style—very <i>loud</i> patterns,
-as a friend appropriately called them.
-Three had cigars, and the other had the horn;
-and it was evident that they thought they were
-“doing the fast thing, and no mistake.” We
-saw them afterwards in the Park, and chanced
-to follow them for some distance. The whole
-time they were there they never exchanged a
-salute with a soul—evidently they were out of
-their sphere; but went round and round,
-looked at by every body with something between
-a stare and a sneer, until they drove off
-again. The last time we saw them, they were
-shaking hands with a fighting man at the door
-of a gin-shop.</p>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_43'>43</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER VII.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE GENT WHO GOES TO THE RACES.</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i043.jpg' width='300' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-<span class='sc'>The</span> Gent who goes
-to the races must
-not be confounded
-with the Sporting
-Gent, of whom we
-may speak by-and-by.
-He knows nothing in the world about the
-running, nor indeed does he care much about
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_44'>44</span>it, beyond the manner in which it may affect
-a chance he has in a “Derby Sweep.” But he
-thinks the fact of being seen there gives him
-a position in society, and he would not miss
-the races for any thing.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>As the Gent who goes to the races is closely
-allied to the Gent we saw at the night taverns,
-we will describe him in the same fashion.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>He buyeth a “D’Orsay blouse,” which he
-believeth to have been made under the Count’s
-own eye; a blue cravat, spotted with white
-wafers; a whip, and a pair of short patent
-boots, to produce an effect; in which he
-mounteth a “fast four-horse coach” from the
-“Garrick’s Head.” At the “Elephant and
-Castle,” being called “my noble sportsman”
-by the vender of the cards, he buyeth one, and
-conceiveth that he is taken for Lord Chesterfield.
-He asketh the vender, with a severe
-look, “if it is Dorling’s?” to show that he is
-“a downy cove,” and not to be done. He
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_45'>45</span>also hath a glass of pale ale. On Clapham
-Common he seeth a ladies’ school, and boweth
-to the tall pupil; whereupon the tall pupil
-receiveth a chiding from the English teacher
-for unseemly levity, and the tall pupil accuseth
-the half-boarder of being the true culprit. At
-Mitcham he hath another pale ale, and delighteth
-in being recognised by a man on a
-pony, whom he sayeth is “Bob Croft;” after
-which, he winketh or kisseth his hand to all
-the housemaids, who, on the Derby Day, invariably
-take two hours and a half to make the
-front-room bed; swinging his legs over the
-side seat of the roof, that his boots may dazzle
-the rustics. At Sutton he hath another pale
-ale. This fully openeth his heart, and he
-carolleth lustily until he reacheth the Downs,
-when he hopeth to be taken for one of the
-Guards. A gipsy woman telleth him that he
-hath a wicked eye, and that his company is
-agreeable to various female Christian names;
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_46'>46</span>whereon he giveth her a shilling and the tail of
-a lobster, the large claw of which he putteth
-to his nose, and in his imagination doeth the
-“fast thing.”</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id004'>
-<img src='images/i047.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>After the race (than which he sayeth he
-never saw a better, albeit he hath seen but
-few) he thinketh it “nobby” to throw at the
-sticks, and insisteth that the merchant do set
-up a bell, a feathered cock, and a pear that
-discourseth music most unhappily, by pulling
-out the stalk, and blowing through it. He
-seeth Lord ——, whom he knoweth by sight,
-next to him, laden with crockery, dogs, and
-Napoleons, pincushions, money-boxes, and
-soldiers in remarkable uniforms, partaking of
-the Grenadier’s, Highlander’s, and Turk’s;
-and he striveth to knock down more things
-than the patrician. But in this he faileth, and
-intruding on the other’s aim, is called a
-“snob,” which, in the kindness of his heart,
-he resenteth not, but carrieth his winnings in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_47'>47</span>his hat back to the coach, after which he
-walketh about “to see the fine women.”
-Next he hath more lunch, until his heart
-openeth wider than ever, and he thinketh,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_48'>48</span>“This is life rather; what a fast one I am,
-and can’t I do it when I choose! Hurrah!”
-He then challengeth strange men on the roofs
-of distant vehicles to take wine, because he
-knoweth “they are the right sort,” and
-finisheth by trying a hornpipe on the roof of
-his own, in all the enthusiasm of ale, sun, lobster
-salad, dust, champagne, and a post-horn.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Going home, his humour knoweth no
-bounds. He tieth his handkerchief to his
-stick for a flag, until he loseth his hat, when
-he tieth his handkerchief round his head.
-He sitteth on the post-horn, and causeth it to
-resemble a ram’s. He pelteth old gentlemen
-driving four-wheeled chaises with snuff-boxes,
-and distributeth pincushions to the domestics,
-breaking windows withal. He liketh to know
-who any one is who upsetteth him by offensive
-speech; and tumbleth to the ground at Sutton,
-where he wisheth for several pale ales
-while the coach stoppeth to cool the wheels,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_49'>49</span>which follow the example of the passengers,
-and begin to smoke. Here he danceth a lively
-measure in the road before a landau, and
-smileth wickedly at the occupants. Getting
-troublesome, he is put in the inside, with the
-helper, the hamper, and the dirty plates, where
-he remaineth until he reacheth London, when
-he sayeth, “Let’s make a night of it.” But
-the manufacturing process is scarcely worthy
-the reader’s attention. The next day he sayeth,
-“I must dine at Berthollini’s for two months
-to come, and give up suppers.”</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id006'>
-<img src='images/i049.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_50'>50</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER VIII.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF CERTAIN GENTS IN SOCIETY.</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i050.jpg' width='300' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-<span class='sc'>Once</span>, when like Mr.
-Tennyson we were
-“waiting for the train
-at Coventry,” and
-thinking of Lady Godiva—the
-Gents would
-like to have peeped at
-Godiva—we saw a
-penny show on the
-ground floor of an empty house in a principal
-street of that good city. It consisted
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_51'>51</span>of “A Happy Family”—a collection of various
-animals, of different natures, in one cage—like
-the travelling menagerie opposite the National
-Gallery, but on a much larger scale. The
-members of the “family” were quietly enjoying
-the pleasure of each other’s society, with the
-exception of two monkeys, one of whom sat
-sullenly scowling at some mice, as he hugged
-himself up into a ball in every body’s way; and
-the other created much discomfort, from time
-to time, by rushing about in a frantic manner,
-running over his neighbours, performing totally
-useless feats of agility, and deporting himself
-generally in an absurd and unseemly fashion.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Now, taking monkeys to be the Gents of the
-animal kingdom, we were pleased to see how
-closely they resemble their human brethren:—for
-the Gents you encounter in society are of
-two kinds. Taking an assembly as the place
-where you would be most likely to come upon
-them, you will find them either endeavouring
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_52'>52</span>to “do the grand,” by not joining in the current
-amusements of the evening; or overstepping
-all bounds of ordinary behaviour—“going it,”
-to use their own words—and committing every
-kind of preposterous and silly offence against
-the received rules of society.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>If you talk to the first of these, whom we
-may call the dreary Gent, you will always find
-that he has been “dining with some fellows he
-knows;” or “having a weed with a man;” and
-you will be reminded of cigars. He affects a
-drawling indifferent tone of voice, which he
-considers cool and fashionable; and he prefers
-keeping outside the drawing-room door, upon
-the landing, because “he don’t want to be bored
-to dance.” He wears broad tails to his coat,
-and most probably the buttonholes are brought
-together over his chest by a small snaffle; whilst,
-hanging by a bit of chain from his waistcoat
-pocket, is a little broquet key, made like a dog’s
-head, the nose of which winds up his watch.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_53'>53</span>His stock is of figured satin, very gay, and very
-narrow, and with long twisted ends, in which
-is stuck a large pin—usually a claw holding a
-stone, as big and as white as a pea of Wenham
-ice from a sherry cobbler. He will ask you, “if
-you were up at Putney on Tuesday;” and if
-you were not, and do not even know what great
-event took place on that day, be sure that he
-regards you with great contempt. Like all
-Gents, he has a great notion of champagne,
-which at supper he drinks by himself from a
-tumbler as he would drink it at a night tavern,
-as aforesaid, from a tankard.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Very opposite to him is the joyous Gent,
-whom we may term the Perrot of private life.
-He always gives us the notion of a ballet-dancer
-spoiled, especially in Pastorale or the Polka;
-in which latter dance, if he does not happen to
-have for his partner a young lady of determined
-spirit, and a keen discrimination of right and
-wrong, he will launch off into all sorts of toe-and-heel
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_54'>54</span>tomfooleries, such as simple people
-used to perpetrate when the Polka first broke
-out—such as you may still see, after supper, at
-Jullien’s and Vauxhall, or at the “Gothics,”
-and other ten-and-sixpenny demi-public hops,
-of the same genus, even at the Hanover Square
-Rooms. The joyous Gent is very great indeed
-in cheap dancing-academy figures. He knows
-the “Caledonians” and the “Lancers;” he loves
-the “Spanish dance,” and patronises the gloomy,
-and almost extinct “Cellarius.” And we will
-make any reasonable wager, that before the
-quadrille begins, he will bow to his partner,
-and then to the corner lady, or the one on his
-left.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>The social acquirements of the joyous Gent
-are many, and he delights in every opportunity
-of exhibiting them. His strongest points are
-his imitations of popular performers, especially
-Buckstone, in whose manner he says, “well I
-never!—did you ever!—oh never!—oh wlaw!”
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_55'>55</span>in a manner that elicits the loudest applause.
-Next he attempts Macready, as follows:—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c018'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“Nay—dearest—nay—if thou—wouldst have—me paint</div>
- <div class='line in1'>The home—to which—could love—fulfil—its prayers,—</div>
- <div class='line in1'>This hand—would lead—thee—listen.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c019'>Then Mr. T. P. Cooke, when he pitches his
-voice in a low falsetto, hitches his trowsers, says,
-“My dear eyes! what! Sewsan!” and affirms
-that “no true heart is altered by the gilt swabs
-on the shoulders, but is ever open to the cry of
-a female in distress.”</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Possibly the next will be Mr. Paul Bedford,
-when he rolls his <i>r</i> and says, “Come along, my
-r-r-r-r-rummy cove; come along comealong-comealong!
-how are you? how d’ye do? here
-we are! I’m a looking at you like bricksywicksywicksies—I
-believe you my boy-y-y-y-y!”</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>And directly afterwards he turns up his nose
-with his forefinger, and looks like Mr. Wright,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_56'>56</span>as he exclaims, “Come, I say you know, guv’nor,
-none o’ them larks eh! you didn’t ought to
-was.”</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>All these are sure to be received with the
-greatest enthusiasm: and as he usually gives
-the name of the actor he is about to imitate,
-before he commences, he is spared the unpleasantry
-attendant upon the remark of some
-guest, who says “Capital! famous! it’s Keeley
-himself,” when the ingenious Gent is attempting
-an impersonation of Farren.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>But after all his surest card is Buckstone.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id005'>
-<img src='images/i056.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_57'>57</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER IX.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF GENTS ON THE RIVER</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i057.jpg' width='200' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-<span class='sc'>The</span> grand gathering of Gents is
-only to be met with as one universal
-réunion of all their varieties,
-on board the Sunday
-steamboats. No city in the
-world produces so many holiday
-specimens of tawdry vulgarity
-as London: and the
-river appears to be the point
-towards which all the countless
-myriads converge. Their
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_58'>58</span>strenuous attempts to ape gentility—a bad style
-of word, we admit, but one peculiarly adapted
-to our purpose—are to us more painful than
-ludicrous: and the labouring man, dressed in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_59'>59</span>the usual costume of his class is, in our eyes,
-far more respectable than the Gent, in his
-dreary efforts to assume a style and tournure
-which he is so utterly incapable of carrying out.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id007'>
-<img src='images/i058.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>When joining a steamboat excursion the
-Gent never sits on the regular benches placed
-for that purpose. He prefers the top of the
-cabin-door—the steps of the paddle-boxes—the
-platform on which the steersman is elevated,
-and the like situations. Here you may always
-see him with a newspaper and a bottle of stout,
-a light blue stock, and, being Sunday, a very
-new hat, and a pair of white trowsers: with
-Berlin gloves, which he carries in his hand.
-For, indeed, not being used to them, nothing
-presents so perfect an idea of tolerated discomfort
-as a Sunday Gent in a pair of gloves.
-We can only compare the appearance of his
-hands, when suffering under the infliction, to
-those of a Guy Fawkes, or the tailors’ dressed-up
-dummies before alluded to.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id004'>
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_60'>60</span>
-<img src='images/i060.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>But there are also aquatic Gents, who row
-in boats on regatta afternoons, and hope to be
-mistaken for “Leanders.” Their principal
-characteristics when on the river, in this phase,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_61'>61</span>are propensities to wear pink silk jerseys, and
-silk caps. Now and then they have been
-known to row in white kid gloves. But they
-may soon be detected; and are especially
-found out by a race of amphibious aborigines
-who affect the river and its banks, known to the
-natives as “Coalies” and “Bargees;” and who
-call them <i>tailors</i>, and make unpleasant allusion
-to goose and board, whereupon the anger
-of the Gents being called forth, they retort,
-asking of the latter <i>amphibia</i> above alluded to,
-“who eat the puppy pie under Marlow bridge?”
-In which query, it is presumed, lies a hidden
-taunt of rankling venom; for the “Bargees”
-immediately indulge in language which would
-shock any one of a properly constituted mind,
-very dreadfully—and call the Gents <i>sweeps</i>,
-not always without some adjective prefixed,
-more powerful than polite.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>River Gents are very fond of talking of
-their “rooms;” which means the rooms rented
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_62'>62</span>by Oxford and Cambridge rowing men, for
-their meetings previous to matches, starting,
-&amp;c. With these, and the members of them,
-the Gent professes to have an intimate acquaintance,
-albeit most likely he never entered
-them, and would in all probability be snubbed
-out, or possibly kicked, if he made the attempt.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Another great feature in the natures of the
-river Gents, is that of belonging to four-oared
-cutter-clubs, with startling names; such as,
-the Argonauts, the Corsairs, &amp;c. They have
-their boats very elaborately adorned—red and
-blue; and lots of gilding being considered the
-thing; with the arms of the club—the only
-ones with which they have, in any way, any
-thing to do—being emblazoned everywhere.
-In such clubs the members row up to Putney,
-dine, get drunk, sing out of window, and come
-back in an omnibus, leaving their waterman to
-bring the boat home the next day.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>The river Gent always knows a man with
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_63'>63</span>a yacht, with whom he has once been as far
-as Gravesend. This enables him to talk about
-the “Bargee;” and even when he thinks he
-is entirely amongst the unsophisticated, to
-launch into hazardous remarks about a “flying-jib,”
-and the build of the <i>Prima Donna</i>. And
-if he in any way intends to make a great effect,
-he has been frequently known to take the name
-of Lord Alfred Paget in vain; which is a great
-thing, not only with river Gents, but all sorts
-of city yacht men generally.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id005'>
-<img src='images/i063.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_64'>64</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER X.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE GENT AT THE CASINOS.</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i064.jpg' width='350' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-<span class='sc'>It</span> is probable
-that, at some
-time or the
-other, you
-have been at
-a fête in
-Paris.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Because if
-you have,
-you will recollect
-the gay “Bal de
-Paris” that was lighted
-up so tastefully when it
-became dark. You will recall
-the order that reigned
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_65'>65</span>there, so different to the vulgar jostling
-and dreary riot of the “Crown and Anchor”
-at Greenwich Fair. If you have not
-been there, figure to yourself an enormous
-tent, say one hundred feet long, supported by
-gilt pillars, with pretty festoons, and surrounded
-by trophies and tricoloured flags, of red, blue,
-and white calico all round. The floor is neatly
-boarded; and in the centre, an excellent orchestra,
-of a dozen musicians, performing all
-the most popular quadrilles, waltzes, and polkas
-of Paris. Five sous is charged for entrance,
-and an extra demand of five sous is made each
-time you dance; when you are not considered
-as transgressing etiquette in asking any fair
-one that your choice may fall upon. The
-utmost order prevails. Indeed, the municipal
-guards in attendance with their fierce mustaches
-and tiger-skin helmets, will soon march
-you off between them if you overstep decorum.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>With respect to the refreshments, there is
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_66'>66</span>not the immense bar which we see at the
-Greenwich Fair and Moulsey Race-course
-dancing assemblies, covered with cold boiled-beef,
-ham, fowls, bottled-porter, pipes, and
-crockery; but then there is a small tent aside
-from the grand one, for lemonade, <i>sirop de
-groseilles</i>, wine, coffee, and Rheims biscuits,
-which has an air of refinement never met with
-in England at meetings of this kind. Dancing
-is the sole object of the company; and dance
-they do; and so did we, too, once upon a time
-(as soon as we got over our thorough English
-idea that every body was looking at us), and we
-can safely say we enjoyed ourselves much more
-there than we had done at any dashing evening
-parties in London. And then the practice in
-French conversation which it affords! You
-can speak so easily, so fluently, to a pretty
-grisette in the middle of a dance, and under
-the influence of a bottle of <i>vin ordinaire</i>, at
-twelve sous; it beats all the masters, believe
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_67'>67</span>us; and we speak from experience. But all
-this by the way. All have their hobbies, and
-pretty grisettes are ours.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Few have watched these agreeable dances
-without lamenting the absence of such things
-from our English festivals: we believe it is
-the Gents alone who have proved the obstacles
-to their proper introduction. For they would
-never keep quiet, and simply enjoy themselves.
-They would think it necessary to “have a
-spree;” and could not exist ten minutes without
-surreptitiously lighting a cigar, for any
-consideration. He would think that he was
-not “nobby” if he did not have some wretched
-champagne: and this miserable mess, getting
-into his head, would lead him into all manner
-of offensive behaviour. For no Gent can stand
-much wine, at any time; and Gent’s wine in
-particular, such as Casino champagne, fearfully
-upsets them.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>When we first heard that M. Laurent was
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_68'>68</span>going to start a shilling concert and dance we
-were much disquieted; for we knew at what a
-rampant pitch Gentism would arrive there.
-But it was somewhat gratifying to see that the
-sensible behaviour of a few strong-minded
-visitors somewhat awed them into propriety.
-Still there are many who still assemble; and
-the use of this chapter is, that you may be
-shown how to know and avoid them.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>The Casino Gent especially likes a white
-over-coat, short, with large buttons; and
-under this he disposes a gay shawl, so as to
-look like the collar of a waistcoat. He carries
-a short stick, and this he never parts with
-under any pretence; but in a polka you will
-see it high in air above the whirling confusion
-of dances, and by this signal may trace his
-progress about the room.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id004'>
-<img src='images/i069.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>His polka is not of the first order; it
-savours more of the dancing academy than
-the drawing-room; and he has scarcely yet
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_69'>69</span>given up the fandango atrocities before alluded
-to, that disgraced the polka on its first introduction
-into England. Hence you will at
-times still see him “kicking up behind and
-before” in an absurd manner, that “Old Joe,”
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_70'>70</span>of Ethiopian celebrity, could scarcely have outdone.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id004'>
-<img src='images/i070.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>This Gent is not very clever at the <i>deux
-temps</i>. Before he knew what it was, he used
-to imagine that certain fools were dancing the
-polka to a waltz time; but now he has found
-out his error, albeit he still looks upon it with
-a sort of contemptuous expression, such as
-unpleasant people in general adopt when they
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_71'>71</span>are called upon to admire something popular
-that they cannot do themselves. In the
-intervals of the dances he promenades the
-room, laughing loudly about nothing particular,
-and hitting his friends on the back with his
-stick, to attract their attention. And no true
-Gent, got up as we have described, ever entered
-the Casino but he did not firmly believe that
-he was <i>the</i> man of the assembly. Hence two
-Gents will always look savage at one another
-when they meet.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'><i>Au reste</i>, the Gent is soon subdued, when
-too lively, by the proper authorities: and he
-has great belief in the power of an acquaintance
-with Mr. Henry Mott, who delights in
-elegant white cravats, and is the head master
-of the ceremonies, nearest the band and the
-sherry-cobblers.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>With respect to other public balls, you
-will not meet many Gents at Weippert’s, or
-the St. James’s. The men there are too strong
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_72'>72</span>for them; not physically, but in social position;
-and the <i>lorettes</i> of these assemblies have quick
-eyes at detecting snobbishness of any kind.
-We have seen one or two Gents at either
-place; but they always looked especially
-wretched—as much out of their place as a
-toadstool in a conservatory. The gentlemen
-did not insult them; they only tacitly objected
-to be vis-à-vis to them, and quietly withdrew
-their partners from the set, until the Gents
-stood alone.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>They are in greater force at <i>bals masqués</i>,
-in and out of costume. Many Gents conceive
-that going in a scarlet coat and top-boots, and
-now and then shouting “Yoicks!” constitutes
-the fast thing: hence there is always one of
-this kind. Others adopt large noses, and false
-mustaches, which they think is “doing it—rather!”
-But you never see them in characteristic
-or original costumes; nor, lacking them,
-do they even adhere to a recognised evening
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_73'>73</span>toilet. They prefer their beloved railway
-trowsers, and flaring stocks and shawls, and
-centre all their notions of full-dress in a paletot.
-M. Jullien is gradually changing all this:
-we trust he will not stop until he places the
-masked ball—“bal marsk” the Gent calls it—on
-a level with those of Paris. But then the
-complimentary admissions must be weeded;
-and the authorities must learn that it is not
-at all necessary to engage a few wretched
-supernumeraries from the theatres, in dingy
-wardrobe costumes, to support the festivity of
-the evening. All low people, including Gents,
-get drunk; and all drunken people are miserable
-nuisances.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'><i>Note.</i>—If ever you see two Gents dancing
-together at a <i>bal masqué</i>, you are at liberty
-to kick and insult them, with every opprobrious
-epithet.</p>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_74'>74</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER XI.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE GENT AT THE SEA-SIDE.</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i074.jpg' width='300' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-<span class='sc'>There</span> is a period in
-the year of London
-existence, when that
-portion of it termed
-the Season, <i>par excellence</i>,
-comes to an end with every
-body, whatever their station; for
-very few there are who do not,
-somehow or other, contrive to get
-out of town, when the great rush
-from home—that flight of the soul
-of the departed Season—is at its height. Every
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_75'>75</span>body who has not already gone, is going; nobody
-will own to staying in town, even if compelled
-to do so. Houses are shut up, blinds
-newspapered, and furniture tied up in bags:
-in fact, to make a wretched joke, whilst the
-family is on the Rhine, its lamps and ottomans
-are all in Holland. There are no more
-carriages whirling about the west-end streets:
-no more thundering knocks echoing all day,
-and night, too, for the matter of that, in the
-squares. You write letters, and get no answers:
-you make calls, and find nobody at
-home, but a servant on board wages, who runs
-out into the area to look at you before she
-answers the door, in great astonishment. You
-think it almost disreputable to be seen about,
-so you follow the rest, and go away.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>This feeling extends throughout all classes
-of society: and going down lower and lower,
-at last reaches the Gent, who copies the gentleman,
-but sees, as usual, every thing through a
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_76'>76</span>wrong medium. In fact, his reflection is that
-of a spoon, in more senses than one: making
-the most outrageous images of the original,
-distorting all the features, but still preserving
-a strange sort of identity.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>The Gent has two favourite places of sea-side
-resort, according to his idiosyncrasies: if
-joyous, he goes to Gravesend; if dreary, to
-Ramsgate. Margate is neither one thing nor
-the other, and Brighton is really too respectable.
-He cannot there show off: and to show
-off is the battle of the Gent’s life. But Gravesend
-is delicious. The transit is cheap and
-rapid; the lodgings are moderate; an effect
-in dress can be made at an easy rate; and,
-above all, there is that largest ornamental
-chalk-pit in the world, Rosherville.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>We are, perhaps, wrong in putting Gravesend
-under the head of sea-side resorts: but
-the Gent considers it to be so. And, indeed,
-the baths there offer peculiar advantages,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_77'>77</span>combining the properties of both fresh and
-salt water, with the impurities of both, and
-the attributes of neither. Yellow slippers
-may also be purchased in the town; and this
-circumstance induces the belief, that the neighbouring
-water is the sea; a delusion which
-appears common not only amongst the Gents,
-but most of the settlers. This, however, by
-the way: we were speaking of Rosherville,
-the paradise which mainly draws the Gents
-from town.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>The costume of the Gent at Rosherville
-is analogous to the one he wears at the promenade
-concerts, with the exception, that he
-has a more airy cravat, of brighter hue, and
-smokes perpetually, except in the ball-room; and
-he would do that, thinking it was “the thing,”
-if a board did not warn him: showing that
-such warning was found absolutely necessary.
-And here, whilst listening to the “military
-band” of the first detachment of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_78'>78</span>Light Coldstream Indefatigables, he puts his
-hat on one side, sits on a table, and tapping
-his short boot, which discovers its form through
-his trowsers, with his equally curtailed cane,
-believes, as usual, that he is <i>the</i> man of the
-assembly.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>The Gent has several fashions in the dancing
-at Rosherville, different from those of the
-Casino. In the first place, he takes off his
-hat, and hangs it on a peg, if there is one
-vacant; if not, he leaves it at the bar. Then
-he bows to his partner, and, if he knows her
-very well, courts at the same time: and, subsequently,
-he salutes the corners with great
-politeness, previous to commencing the first
-set. But this particular set does not stand
-very high in estimation. In common with
-other balls for the <i>basse classe</i>, its component
-Gents prefer dances of intricate and abnormal
-fashion: and so it is here also considered <i>ton</i>
-to perform the <i>Caledonians</i> (which nobody ever
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_79'>79</span>knows all through, except the master of the
-ceremonies), the <i>Lancers</i>, <i>Spanish Dances</i>, the
-<i>Cellarius</i>, even the <i>Gavotte</i>, and other frantic
-arrangements of gasping professors, including,
-of course, “<i>La Polka</i>” as it is always termed,
-in their parlance. And on “Gala Nights,”
-still more wonderful evolutions are gone
-through, all of which are due to the inventive
-genius of the aforesaid inimitable M.C.,
-whose friendship the Gent especially prizes.
-For at Rosherville that great man is to be seen—actually,
-really to be seen—walking like an
-ordinary person, amongst ordinary fellow
-creatures. He is no longer a phantasy of
-mental conception—not that zephyr in pumps
-bounding amidst new-laid eggs and tea-things,
-or matchlessly performing his Marine Hornpipe
-in top-boots, or Chinese Fandango in
-handcuffs, or Milanese Fling in the double
-jack-chains; but a substantial reality,—the
-glass of fashion, the mould of form, whom we
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_80'>80</span>can never fancy putting off the pumps of
-ceremony for the high-lows of necessity—in a
-word, <span class='sc'>The Baron Nathan</span>.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>The Gent at Ramsgate would be the last
-to persuade that it is really a dull place. He
-is one of the most strenuous upholders of that
-greatest of all popular delusions suffered to go
-unchallenged, that English sea-side watering-places
-generally are pleasant spots to emigrate
-to, and Ramsgate in particular. We know, as
-far as we are concerned, that we once underwent
-transportation for seven days to that penal
-settlement; and that we never before suffered
-(we expect in common with every body else)
-from such a ghastly gasping after the belief
-that we were “doing a holiday,” as the Gent
-would say, as during that time.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>How the Gent makes up his mind to go to
-Ramsgate at all we cannot make out; but there
-he always is: and he divides the measure of
-his revelry thereat into four goes of excitement:
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_81'>81</span>Going on the sands; Going out sailing; Going
-on the pier; and Going to Sachett’s.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'><i>Going on the sands</i> is the weakest of the
-Gent’s pastimes: but he says, with a loud
-laugh, that it is to see the ladies bathe. Elsewhere
-it would be confined to watching children
-bury one another in the sand, with small wooden
-spades—a performance which, like a pantomime,
-however interesting on first representation,
-somewhat flags in interest upon repetition.
-The Gent usually takes two chairs to rest upon,
-and stares hard at every body else, especially
-the females, the while he sketches feeble designs
-with his short stick, which he never by any
-means parts with, on the sand.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id001'>
-<img src='images/i082.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'><i>Going out sailing</i> is also a slow business—slower
-than a few friends after a dinner-party
-for a carpet polka; or a standard five-act-play;
-or a wedding breakfast; or the outside half of
-yesterday’s <i>Times</i>; or a book written with a
-“high moral purpose;” or a Charing-Cross-to-the-Bank omnibus—and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_82'>82</span>that is saying a
-good deal: the Gent, however, likes it: for
-then he puts on a shirt ruled with blue ink, the
-collar of which he turns down: and talks of
-“jibs,” and “tacks,” and “sheets,” and also
-alludes to the man he knows who keeps a yacht.
-And he takes his cigar—his loved cigar—as
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_83'>83</span>soon as he leaves the harbour. And as he
-leaves the harbour he stands in an attitude,
-and believes that the young ladies who show
-their ankles on the pier imagine him to be a
-Red Rover.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Perhaps <i>Going on the pier</i> is the Ramsgate
-Gent’s greatest treat: because then he can put
-on his gay clothes, and once more think that
-he is rather the thing. But in this the Gent
-makes a great mistake. He dresses but once
-in the day, and then puts on a frock-coat,
-which he wears to dinner, and all the evening;
-not exactly understanding, we expect, what is
-the real difference between morning and evening
-toilets. For as Gentlemen usually dress after
-a walk, so do Gents dress before one: and if
-they do not appear in their “best” to walk up
-and down the pier—which at Ramsgate is the
-chief straw that the sinking <i>ennuyés</i> clutch at—and
-stare superciliously at all whom they do
-not know, they think they are snobs—the snob
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_84'>84</span>being to the Gent what the Gent is to the
-Gentleman.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>The prevalence of Gents at Ramsgate, in
-such numbers that the fine weather brings
-them out like bluebottles, is easily accounted
-for. There is a certain class of families who
-go to Ramsgate every year, because they were
-there the last. They come either from the
-Pancras-cum-Bloomsbury district of London,
-or having shops, or ware-rooms, or counting-houses
-in the City, live in suburban villas
-comfortably off, and believing greatly in all
-conventional rules of society, getting perhaps
-once a year to the Opera, thinking a great
-deal of Mansion-house balls, and believing to a
-great degree in fashion-books. Well, these
-good folks affect Ramsgate greatly, and so take
-their families with them. The girls of this
-class pass muster pretty well; Clapham or
-Chiswick academies teaching them certain
-school accomplishments, which pass current for
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_85'>85</span>a decent education amongst their equals—but
-the boys are always Gents. The same feeling
-which induces their parents to believe that the
-more showily they can set out their dinner-table
-the higher they rise in social life, makes
-these sons imagine that two or three dear and
-flashy articles of dress place them on a level
-with the well-born and well-bred Gentleman.
-Accustomed in their own spheres to take the
-lead, they will not go where they meet men
-who attain very good stations in society without
-large studs or noisy-patterned cravats; and
-constantly associating, one with the other, they
-get lost beyond all redemption. And of these
-is the migratory young-man society of Ramsgate
-chiefly composed.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Of the same class is the Gent at Boulogne.
-He is at first a long time being persuaded to
-go there; because he knows that his ignorance
-of the language will be an awful drop to his
-consequence, and bring him down at once to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_86'>86</span>his elements in a very humiliating manner.
-But after a while, finding that every body else
-knows something about it but himself, he determines
-to go. And in this wise doth he
-deport himself.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'><i>Imprimis</i> he alloweth his mustaches to
-grow, which giveth him the look of an officer-lover
-in a farce at the Eagle, but assimilateth
-to the foreigner in nothing. He delighteth
-in brutal conduct to the native functionaries,
-which he taketh to be a fine display of national
-spirit, and thinketh that they are impressed
-with respect for him thereby. He calleth the
-<i>vin ordinaire</i> “rot,” but drinketh brandy to
-intoxication. He shouteth with hoarse joyless
-laughter at French peculiarities, and thinketh
-that, by so doing, he displayeth a fine-natured
-<i>naïveté</i>. He deemeth the greatest discovery
-ever made to be that of a tavern whereat
-British stout is retailed; and thinketh that he
-maketh a joke of excellent pungency when he
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_87'>87</span>saith “Waterloo,” to a French soldier. He
-careth not for the indigenous hotels, but loveth
-better the English boarding-house, where he
-can have “a good John Bull joint, and no
-French kickshaws:” John Bull being represented
-generally as a vulgar top-booted man
-verging on apoplexy, with, evidently, few ideas
-of refinement, obstinate and hard-natured; but
-the Gent conceiveth that upon occasions it is
-ennobling to profess attachment to him.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id005'>
-<img src='images/i087.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_88'>88</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER XII.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>NOTES OF CERTAIN OTHER GENTS.</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i088.jpg' width='300' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-<span class='sc'>There</span> is a species of
-Gent who, moving only
-in a third or fourth rate
-sphere, goes to a party
-in a white cravat and
-turned up wristbands,
-and carries his
-hat into the room
-because he had
-heard that Gentlemen
-do so. He
-is generally an
-immense card.
-We chanced to
-stand next to a specimen of this kind, one
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_89'>89</span>evening, in a quadrille, and the only remark
-we heard him make was inquiring of his partner,
-after two or three false starts, whether she
-preferred dancing on a carpet or the bare
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_90'>90</span>boards: to which the young lady replied,
-having looked down to see what the floor was
-(that she might not “put her foot in it,” figuratively
-speaking), that she preferred a carpet, she
-thought: and this was the beginning and end
-of the conversation.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id007'>
-<img src='images/i089.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>A sample of this variety fixed himself upon us
-once, as we were taking a stroll, merely upon
-the intimacy of a casual party introduction two
-or three weeks before, where we had procured
-him some trifle at supper, solely because we
-did not choose to run the chance of allowing
-him to approach the table and stand near the
-pretty girl over whose white shoulder we
-stretched our arm to help him. We found out
-that he was minutely particular about his deportment
-in the street, and a pretty treat we
-gave him. First of all we rattled our stick
-against the area railings of the houses: then
-we bought penny bunches of cherries at the
-stalls, and munched them as we went along,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_91'>91</span>continually pressing him to take some, or propelling
-the stones, six at a time, along the
-pavement in front of us. We cut off the angles
-of all the squares, and ran very fast across all
-the crossings; and then took off a little boy’s
-cap, and carried it a short way with us, to provoke
-a few salutations in our wake, of that
-pleasing and forcible kind which only little
-boys in the streets can give with such piquancy
-of expression. We finally got rid of him by
-insisting upon stopping at the corner of Berners
-Street to see <i>Punch</i>—an exhibition we never,
-by any means, omit playing audience to:
-although we know many Gents who think their
-station in society would be lost for ever, were
-they once observed taking an interest in any
-thing half so common.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>There is a peculiar race of Gents to be seen,
-through the windows, lounging in tobacco-shops;
-some leaning against the counter,
-others seated on tubs, or occupying the like
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_92'>92</span>positions. This employment is another variety
-of what Gents think “fast.”</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id004'>
-<img src='images/i092.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>The presiding goddess of this temple of
-smoke is a scantily educated woman, who has
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_93'>93</span>been more or less pretty at some time or
-another; but still retains, it would seem, sufficient
-attraction to draw the Gents about her.
-Here they will pass hours, finding intense
-pleasure in her commonplace uninteresting
-conversation—retailing dull jokes, worn-out
-anecdotes, or vapid inevitable puns to each
-other; and staring at any casual purchaser who
-may enter the shop, as if he were an intruder
-on their domain.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>There are the Gents, also, who are afterwards
-seen in the theatres at half-price: in the slips
-during the performances, and in the saloon
-during the <i>entr’acte</i>—the class who, whilst they
-carry on brisk conversation and smart repartees
-(of a sort) with the least reputable in public life,
-form the vapid nonentities of private society
-when females are present. They are men, to
-use a phrase more expressive than elegant,
-strongly addicted to <i>bear parties</i>—who think “a
-glass of grog and a weed” the acme of social
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_94'>94</span>enjoyment, and who look upon all entertainments
-that throw them into the society of ladies,
-or, indeed, any one of intellect and refinement,
-as bores. They are the great men at the night
-taverns, before alluded to. All that is, however,
-harmless in its way; for the majority of those
-houses are exceedingly well conducted: and,
-indeed, it is only the Gents of the lowest sphere
-who deem it spirited to mix themselves up, in
-other resorts, with the ruffians of the ring and the
-most degraded of either sex, in an atmosphere of
-oaths and odours, where indecency is mistaken
-for broad humour and dull slang for first-rate
-wit.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>It is the cheap tailor who advertises, to whom
-this style of Gent goes for his clothes. He is
-caught by the poetry and the names of the
-articles related; as well as of the establishment,
-whether it be “Paletot Palace,” “the Kingdom
-of Kerseymere,” or “the Walhalla of waistcoats,”
-as it is termed in those small but lively works
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_95'>95</span>of fiction thrown with such unsparing liberality
-through the windows of railway omnibuses.
-The following is an announcement peculiar to
-the Frankensteins of these strange creations.
-We have written it, and present the copy-right
-to any of them that may choose to
-adopt it.</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c001'>
- <div>TRIUMPHS OF BRITISH VALOUR.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c018'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Fame’s trumpet says we’ve had victories enough,</div>
- <div class='line'>And our great soldiers leave their arms to follow the plough:</div>
- <div class='line'>But first to London they came with their retinues complete;</div>
- <div class='line'>Everybody makes a holiday to join in the fête.</div>
- <div class='line'>Gents’ clothes now are cheap; buy, if you have not,</div>
- <div class='line'>And go to Sholomansh’s celebrated depot.</div>
- <div class='line'>Mark their drab Chesterfield of the first water,</div>
- <div class='line'>With the first rain ’twill shrink three inches shorter.</div>
- <div class='line'>Twelve shillings new—it surely can’t be dear,</div>
- <div class='line'>And warranted to wear for half the year.</div>
- <div class='line'>The celebrated window-cleaning blouse,</div>
- <div class='line'>To buy at six-and-six you can’t refuse.</div>
- <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_96'>96</span>The pound dress-coat is worthy of all praise,</div>
- <div class='line'>And fashionably made of fine black baize.</div>
- <div class='line'>With contract suits they build for eager nobs,</div>
- <div class='line'>In the most dashing style of Sunday snobs.</div>
- <div class='line'>Coarse cloth, rude work, bad cutting, and quick wear,</div>
- <div class='line'>With Sholomansh what other can compare?</div>
- <div class='line'>And recollect—old suits to be return’d</div>
- <div class='line'>If when worn out they’re not worth being burned.</div>
- <div class='line'>To suit all climes, Iceland and Ararat,</div>
- <div class='line'>For cash he’ll dress you out, and with eclat.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c001'>
- <div>LIST OF PRICES.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='std-table'>
-
-<table class='table0' summary=''>
-<colgroup>
-<col width='76%' />
-<col width='7%' />
-<col width='7%' />
-<col width='7%' />
-</colgroup>
- <tr>
- <td class='c020'>&nbsp;</td>
- <td class='c021'>£</td>
- <td class='c021'><i>s.</i></td>
- <td class='c022'><i>d.</i></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class='c020'>Dress coats, warranted to wear three weeks</td>
- <td class='c021'>1</td>
- <td class='c021'>10</td>
- <td class='c022'>0</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class='c020'>Ditto trowsers, fashionable plaid or railroad</td>
- <td class='c021'>0</td>
- <td class='c021'>9</td>
- <td class='c022'>6</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class='c020'>Splendid vests, of the revolving bottle-jack style</td>
- <td class='c021'>0</td>
- <td class='c021'>5</td>
- <td class='c022'>6</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class='c020'>Pasha and Taglioni wrappers, of the last horse-cloth out-for-the-day half-price-to-the-play pattern</td>
- <td class='c021'>0</td>
- <td class='c021'>16</td>
- <td class='c022'>0</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class='c020'>Young Gent’s Rob Roy, and Glenalvon dresses</td>
- <td class='c021'>0</td>
- <td class='c021'>15</td>
- <td class='c022'>0</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class='c020'>Montemolin cloak, 9 yards round, warranted to hide the seediest clothes</td>
- <td class='c021'>1</td>
- <td class='c021'>10</td>
- <td class='c022'>0</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class='c020'>Metropolitan shooting costume, for the fields in the vicinity of London (complete)</td>
- <td class='c021'>2</td>
- <td class='c021'>15</td>
- <td class='c022'>0</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class='c020'><span class='pageno' id='Page_97'>97</span>Fashionable Epping hunting-coat</td>
- <td class='c021'>1</td>
- <td class='c021'>10</td>
- <td class='c022'>0</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class='c020'>Racket blouses and morning tenderdens, adapted to Gents in the Queen’s Bench, from</td>
- <td class='c021'>0</td>
- <td class='c021'>3</td>
- <td class='c022'>6</td>
- </tr>
-</table>
-
-</div>
-<div class='lg-container-b c001'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>A large assortment.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Terms cash.</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'><i>Vivat Regina.</i>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;No money returned.</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line c001'>N.B.—Observe the Address: SHOLOMANSH,</div>
- <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Cheap Tailor</span> and <span class='sc'>Gent-Fitter, City</span>.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='figcenter id006'>
-<img src='images/i097.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_98'>98</span>
- <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER XIII.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>THE GENTS VIEWED WITH RESPECT TO THEIR EXTINCTION.</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i098.jpg' width='200' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_3'>
-<span class='sc'>If any</span> influential member, bent
-upon being of service
-to his country, would
-bring in a bill for the
-“Total Repeal of the
-Gents,” he would confer
-the greatest benefit
-on society; for
-until they are entirely
-knocked on the head, our public amusements
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_99'>99</span>can never be conducted with the propriety
-which distinguishes those of Paris.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>We believe, with sorrow, that this offensive
-race of individuals is peculiar to our own country:
-we know of no foreign type answering to
-them. If persons establishing resorts where
-they mostly congregate, could take out an assurance
-against Gents, as they do against fire,
-what a blessing it would be!</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>We think it would be an excellent plan for
-respectable electors to make members pledge
-themselves to vote for the heavy taxation of
-various articles in which Gents chiefly delight.
-In this tariff we would have blue stocks; large
-breast-pins; snaffle coat-studs; curled hair;
-collar-galled hacks; Spanish dances; Cellarius
-waltzes; Caledonian quadrilles; lithographed
-beauties, plain and coloured; cheap cigars;
-large pattern trowsers; gay under-waistcoats or
-“vests;” thick sticks; short canes; walking-whips;
-and boxes of omnibuses, as distinguished
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_100'>100</span>from omnibus boxes. If the Gents could
-not enjoy these things without paying heavy
-prices for them they would go without; for a
-great effect at a small outlay is the main intention
-of all their follies.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>And we also think it might be serviceable
-towards the great end of putting Gents out
-altogether, when any one chances to say, “I
-know a Gent,” to exclaim immediately either
-“You know a <i>what</i>?” in accents of horror, or
-“You look as if you did!” in a tone of contempt,
-to bring him to a sense of his miserable position—in
-whichever way you think will best work
-upon his feelings.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Doudney, Moses, Prew, and Hyams! patrons
-as ye are of literature generally, and poets
-especially! by whose influence the taste of the
-Gents is in some measure guided, help us to
-effect some little reform! Do not, we beseech
-you, allow your emblazoned window-tickets to
-lead this wretched race into such strange ideas
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_101'>101</span>respecting the “fashions” as they are wont to
-indulge in. Abolish all those little pasteboard
-scutcheons which point out your gaudy fabrics
-as “Novel,” “The Style,” “Splendid,” “The
-Thing,” “Parisian,” and the like. Cut their
-waistcoats, in charity, as if you intended them
-for gentlemen instead of Gents. Reform your
-own bills, and appeal not to the sympathies
-with such wild innovations: and persuade the
-literary Gent who writes those charming little
-<i>brochures</i> about your establishments—whispered
-to be the light contributor to Blackwood’s Magazine—which
-are presented gratuitously with
-the periodicals, to lead the minds of the Gents
-into another channel. Let them no longer
-imagine that the usual method of dressing
-of an acknowledged leader of fashion—the
-gentleman of the greatest taste in England—is
-in a puckered six-and-threepenny blouse with
-braid round the pockets (for such is the garment
-that bears his name), a rainbow-tinted
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_102'>102</span>stock, drugget-pattern trowsers, and nine-and-sixpenny
-broad-brimmed hats. Do this, and
-send all your present stock to America.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>Editors of Sporting Papers! you are renowned
-for obliging courtesy: assist the good
-work with your able pens, by never allowing
-the term “Sporting Gent” to appear in your
-columns, whether he undertakes to drive a pony
-to death, match his dog to be torn to pieces
-last in a struggle, or advance a pecuniary
-inducement for two savages to pummel each
-other’s heads to jelly. Did you ever see a
-“Sporting Gent?” You must have done so;
-and you have noted his coarse hands, his flattened
-fingers, and dubby nails; his common
-green coat, his slang handkerchief, and his low
-hat: his dreary conversation entirely confined
-to wiredrawn accounts of wagers he has
-won, and matches he can make for any
-thing. Never give him a chance of attaining
-publicity, and he will go out and disappear
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_103'>103</span>altogether, leaving the coast clear for
-gentlemen.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>We are not altogether without a hope that,
-by strong and energetic measures, the Gents
-may be put down—this would be a real “improved
-condition of the people” much to be
-desired. A Court of Propriety might be established
-at which Gents could be convicted of
-misdemeanors against what is usually considered
-<i>comme-il-faut</i>. And punishments might
-be awarded proportionate to the nature of the
-offence. For a heavy one a Gent might be
-transported for fourteen days into good society,
-where he would be especially wretched; for a
-light one he might enter into heavy recognizances
-not to smoke cigars on omnibuses or
-steamers, not to wear any thing but quiet
-colours, not to say he knew actresses, and not
-to whistle when he entered a tavern, or, with
-his fellows, laugh loudly at nothing, when ensconced
-in his box there, for any time not
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_104'>104</span>exceeding the same period. A Court of
-Requests would be of no use; for it is of little
-avail requesting the Gents to do any thing.
-Compulsion alone would reform them.</p>
-
-<p class='c015'>We trust the day will come—albeit we feel
-it will not be in our time—when the Gent will
-be an extinct species; his “effigies,” as the old
-illustrated books have it, being alone preserved
-in museums. And then this treatise may be
-regarded as those zoological papers are now
-which treat of the Dodo: and the hieroglyphics
-of coaches and horses, pheasants, foxes’ heads,
-and sporting dogs found on the huge white
-buttons of his wrapper, will be regarded with
-as much curiosity, and possibly will give rise
-to as much discussion and investigation as the
-ibises and scarabæi in the Egyptian Room of
-the British Museum. We hope it may be so.</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c001'>
- <div><span class='xsmall'>VIZETELLY BROTHERS AND CO. PRINTERS AND ENGRAVERS, FLEET STREET</span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c001' />
-</div>
-<p class='c015'>&nbsp;</p>
-<div class='tnbox'>
-
- <ul class='ul_1 c001'>
- <li>Transcriber’s Notes:
- <ul class='ul_2'>
- <li>Missing or obscured punctuation was silently corrected.
- </li>
- <li>Typographical errors were silently corrected.
- </li>
- <li>Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation were made consistent only when a predominant
- form was found in this book.
- </li>
- </ul>
- </li>
- </ul>
-
-</div>
-<p class='c015'>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE NATURAL HISTORY OF THE GENT ***</div>
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