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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c4513f2 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #66323 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/66323) diff --git a/old/66323-0.txt b/old/66323-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index d5615d1..0000000 --- a/old/66323-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1889 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Natural History of the Gent, by Albert -Smith - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: The Natural History of the Gent - -Author: Albert Smith - -Release Date: September 17, 2021 [eBook #66323] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: deaurider, Barry Abrahamsen, and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was - produced from images generously made available by The Internet - Archive) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE NATURAL HISTORY OF THE -GENT *** - -[Illustration: - - “Come along, my r-r-r-r-rummy cove; come along! how are you? how d’ye - do? here we are my bricksywicksywicksy!!!” -] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE NATURAL HISTORY - - OF - - THE GENT. - -[Illustration] - - - BY ALBERT SMITH. - - - - LONDON: - - DAVID BOGUE, 86 FLEET STREET. - - MDCCCXLVII. - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - LONDON: - - VIZETELLY BROTHERS AND CO. PRINTERS AND ENGRAVERS, - - PETERBOROUGH COURT, FLEET STREET. - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - PREFACE. - - -IN the Sunday newspapers of May 24, of the past year, 1846, appeared the -following paragraph:— - - - MARYLEBONE. - - A “GENT.”—A respectable-looking man, named James Dickenson, was - charged by Brooks, 169 S, who said, “Please your worship, at two - o’clock yesterday morning (Monday), I found this ‘gent’ drunk in - Park Road, and took him into custody.” - - _Mr. Rawlinson_: Who do you say you found drunk? - - _Constable_: This “gent,” your worship. - - _Mr. Rawlinson_: What do you mean by “gent?” There is no such - word in our language. I hold a man who is called a “gent” to be - the greatest blackguard there is. (To the prisoner): What do you - say to this? I hope you are not a “gent.” - - _Prisoner_: I am not, sir, and I trust that I know the - distinction between a “gent” and a “gentleman.” - - _Mr. Rawlinson_: I dare say you do, sir, and I look upon the - word “gent” as one of the most blackguard expressions that can - be used. - - The prisoner was fined 5s., which he directly paid. - - -We were exceedingly delighted when we read this police report. We had -laboured, for three or four years, to bring the race of Gents into -universal contempt; and we at last found that an intelligent and -respected London magistrate had publicly stated, from the bench, his -opinion of the miserable class in question; and that it exactly -coincided with our own. But fearing—from seeing the odious word still -starting up in shops, ticketed to wild articles of dress, to be -hereafter alluded to, as well as hearing it every now and then applied -by one “party” to another of his acquaintance—that the species was not -yet extinct; fearing this, in spite of our direct attacks in _Punch_ and -_Bentley’s Miscellany_, and our side-wind blows through the medium of -our esteemed friend John Parry, certain burlesques at the Lyceum, and -various other channels—we determined upon reconsidering all we had ever -propounded on the subject, and publishing it in the form now presented -to the reader, that all might clearly see who the Gents were, and shun -them accordingly. - -And so we leave our little book in your hands, published at a price, as -a prospectus always says, “that will bring it within the reach of all -classes.” And we request your co-operation towards the great end of -putting Gents out altogether. For they form an offensive body, of more -importance than you would at first conceive; and both public and private -society will be much benefited by their extinction. - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE NATURAL HISTORY - - OF - - THE GENT. - - - - - CHAPTER I. - - WHAT THE GENT IS GENERALLY. - - -THE species of the human race, to the consideration of which we are -about to draw the attention of the reader, is of all others the most -unbearable, principally from an assumption of style about him—a futile -aping of superiority that inspires us with feelings of mingled contempt -and amusement, when we contemplate his ridiculous pretensions to be -considered “the thing.” - -The Gent is of comparatively late creation. He has sprung from the -original rude untutored man by combinations of chance and cultivation, -in the same manner as the later varieties of fancy pippins have been -produced by the devices of artful market-gardeners, from the original -stock wild crab of the hedges. The fashion which Gents have of -occasionally addressing one another as “my pippin” favours this analogy: -and when they use this figure of speech, they pronounce it as -follows,—placing great stress on the first letter, and then waiting -awhile for the rest,—“Ullo, my P—ippin!” - -After much diligent investigation, we find no mention made of the Gent -in the writings of authors who flourished antecedent to the last ten -years. - -In the older works we meet with “_bucks_” and “_gay blades_” and -“_pretty fellows_;” and later with “_men upon town_,” “_swells_” and -“_downy ones_,” or “_knowing coves_:” but the pure Gent comes not under -any of these orders. He was not known in these times. He is scarcely -understood now so universally as we could wish; but we trust that his -real character will, before long, be properly appreciated. He is -evidently the result of a variety of our present condition of -society—that constant wearing struggle to appear something more than we -in reality are, which now characterizes every body, both in their public -and private phases. - -Our attention was first called to the Gents in the following manner:— - -We were in the habit of occasionally coming into contact with certain -individuals, who when they spoke of their acquaintances were accustomed -to say “I know a Gent,” or, “A Gent told me.” Never by any good luck did -we hear them speak of Gentlemen. But it occurred that we chanced, on -future occasions, to see one or two of the Gents above alluded to, and -then we understood what they were. - -[Illustration] - -The first Gent we ever saw, we encountered on the roof of an omnibus, -with his hat a little on one side, and a staring shawl round his neck. -He was also smoking a cigar, as he sat next to the driver, in order that -he might reap the benefit of his anecdotes and remarks concerning the -horses and vehicle, to which the Gent replied at intervals, “Ah,” and -“Yes,” and “I should say not,” and “Just so,” with other similar phrases -used to fill up unmeaning dialogue. We heard him speak of “a Party he -knew,” and he was very much interested at hearing that the off-horse -worked “in the fust bus as ever Shillibeer started, and was took from -the Angel to be put on the Elephant.” He was also informed of the -singular speculation in which “the guvner give a fippun note for that -little mare, and was offered eight sovrins for her within a week, though -she was a reg’lar bag o’ bones;” upon which the Gent observed that “very -often those sort of horses were the best.” Having delivered himself of -which opinion, he rolled his cigar about in his mouth, gave a whiff in -our face, and then removed it between his middle and ring-finger, to -offer it to another Gent on the roof, who begged the favour of a light. - -[Illustration] - -The next Gent we met was in the street. He wore large check trowsers of -the true light comedian pattern, which appeared to have been made -expressly for Mr. Walter Lacy, or Mr. Wright: and he had on a short odd -coat; such a one as that in which Mr. Buckstone might be expected to go -to a ball. He carried a little stick of no earthly use, with a horse’s -silver hoof on the top of it, which he kept to his lips always; and he -also patronised the staring shawl and cigar; and he evidently imagined -that he was “rather the Stilton than otherwise”—“_Stilton_” or -“_cheese_” being terms by which Gents imply style or fashion. He was -pursuing a pretty girl of modest deportment, who was possibly going -home—for it was evening, when Gents and cheap umbrellas chiefly -flourish—after her hard day’s toil at a bonnet-shop. The Gent had not -the sense to see that his advances were repulsed with scorn and -indignation. He imagined that by addressing his coarse annoying -gallantry to an unprotected girl, he was acting as if he was “upon -town,” “a fast man,” “up to a thing or two,” or some other such epithet, -which it is the ambition of the Gent to get attached to his name. - -[Illustration] - -We met the next Gent in the boxes at one of the theatres, whither he had -come in the full-dress of a light blue stock, and cleaned white gloves -re-dirtied. We knew they had been cleaned; they exhaled a faint camphine -odour, as he put his hand on the brass rail and leant over us, and there -was none of that sharpness of outline in their dirt which new gloves -evince: it was denser, cloudier, more universal; and the knuckles and -nails were remarkably so. This Gent also had a little stick. He lighted -a cigar at the lobby-lamp on leaving the house, and pulled a staring -shawl out of his hat as he whistled an air from one of the burlesques. -He went over to the Albion, the room of which was quite full; and after -standing in the centre for a few seconds—tapping his teeth with his -stick, whilst his left hand was thrust into the hinder pocket of his -coat, dragged round to his hip—apparently disgusted at not creating any -sensation, he turned round on his heel, and crossing Covent Garden, -ultimately dived into Evans’s. - -Then we thought that the Gents must be a race by themselves, which -social naturalists had overlooked, deserving some attention; and we -determined to study their habits, and allot to them a certain position -which at that time they did not appear to have. - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAPTER II. - - OF THE MANNER BY WHICH GENTS ARE KNOWN. - - -EXPERIENCE proves that pictures are the best media for conveying -information at the outset of tuition. Hence, in the study of Natural -History, for instance, tyros learn the animals with their letters: their -hornbooks have zoological alphabets, coloured in tints more or less -eccentric; and, although led away by the representations, they sometimes -read “A for donkey, B for great cow, C for poor puss,” yet, on the -whole, the way is a good one. - -So, we will teach those not yet well up in the manner, by pictures, how -they may know the Gents. - -The finest specimens may be seen in the coloured “Fashions,” with which -certain comically-disposed tailors adorn their windows. In these -presumed representations of prevalent style, some favourite west-end -locality is taken for the background; and, in front, are many Gents, in -such attitudes as may display their figures and little boots to the best -advantage. Some are supposed to be arrayed for an evening party, in -green dress-coats and puce tights. Some, again, are represented as -sportsmen, with pinched-in waists, that the shock of the first leap, or -the kick of the first shot, would knock in half; and others are -promenade Gents, in frock coats and corded trowsers, bowing to one -another with much grace, or leading little Gents by the hand, who look -like animated daguerreotypes of themselves. Well, then, these are Gents, -_pur sang_. Observe, as the showman says, observe their -fashionably-shaped hats, their Lilliputian boots, their tiny gloves. -There is no deception. Observe that all their positions are evidently -the result of much study; and that the greater part of them have one arm -elevated, and the palm open, with the air of a conjurer when he -says,—“You will perceive I have nothing in my hand.” - -[Illustration] - -Of the same family as these Gents, are the fashionable loungers in -pantomimes, who walk about with the distinguished females in the scanty -_visites_ of pink glazed calico, trimmed with ermine; and the lovers in -the blue coats and white trowsers on the sixpenny valentines, who direct -the attention of the adored one to the distant village church. - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAPTER III. - - OF THE CHIEF OUTWARD CHARACTERISTICS OF THE GENT. - - -ONE has only to look into the advertisements of cheap tailors, and the -windows of ticketed shops, to form a very good notion of the other -principal marks by which the Gent may be distinguished. - -It should be borne in mind, that the main object of the Gent is to -assume a position which he conceives to be superior to his own. - -Now this, he fancies, is in a great measure accomplished by -out-of-the-way clothes—a mark of superiority which has the advantage of -requiring but a small outlay of intellect; and cunning manufacturers -invent things on purpose to suit this taste, as the men of Manchester -export gay-coloured, large-figured patterns for the negroes. - -For him the cheap Tailor announces the “Gent’s Vest”—which is the Hebrew -for “Snob’s Waistcoat”—as patronised by the nobility. To catch his eye -alone, are the representations of men of _ton_ put at the side of the -advertisements; and, for his inspection, do the dummies stand at the -doors of the shops, invested in the splendour of an entire suit, with an -impossible waist, “made to measure for the same terms.” - -And we may observe that the Gents usually speak of their get-up as _the -ticket_—the term possibly being used in allusion to the badge which -distinguished their various articles of dress when exposed for sale. -And, in writing these, the leaning of the Gents towards distinguished -associations is very evident. A great coat must be a “Chesterfield,” a -“Taglioni,” or a “Codrington;” a little rag of coloured silk for the -neck is called a “Byron Tie;” and so on. If the things are not dignified -by these terms, the Gent does not think much of them. - -To his taste does the ready-made Shoemaker appeal in the short fancy -_Alberts_, ticketed “The Fashion.” If you are accustomed to derive a -little gratuitous amusement from shop windows, as you go along the -streets, you will see in them the funniest things, meant for the Gents, -that it is possible to conceive. The most favourite style of _chaussure_ -is a species of cloth-boot, with a shiny-leather toe, and a close row of -little mother-of-pearl shirt-buttons down the front; not for any -purpose, for they are simply sewn on, the real method of fastening on -the brodequin being by the humble lace and tag of domestic life, at the -side. - -[Illustration] - -But it is with the Haberdashers that the toilet of the Gents comes out -strongest. - -You will see “Gents’ Dress Kid” ticketed in the window. Be ye sure that -they are large sized, awkwardly cut, yellow kid gloves, at -one-and-sixpence. The tint is evidently a weakness with the Gents, who -think them dashing, and say they come from _Hoobegongs_. But the -merchants, lacking discrimination, believe that the predisposition is -general. We will wager a dozen pairs of them that you never went into -one of these establishments, and simply and decidedly demanded a pair of -white kid gloves, but you were immediately asked “if you would not -prefer straw-coloured?” - -And then the stocks—what marvellous cravats they form! Blue always the -favourite colour—blue, with gold sprigs! blue, with a crimson floss-silk -flower! blue Joinvilles, with rainbow ends! And, if they are black and -long, they are fashioned into quaint conceits: Frills of black satin -down the front, or bands of the same fabric looking like an imitation of -crimped skate; or studs of jet made like buttons, as if the Gent wore a -cheap, black satin shirt, and that was where it fastened. And the white -stocks are more fanciful still. They are not very popular in their -simple form; for the Gents feel that they cannot help looking like -waiters in them; and so a little illegitimate finery is necessary. Hence -they have lace ends, like the stamped papers from the top of _bon-bon_ -and French plum boxes. And the effect in society is very fine. - -[Illustration] - -The Jewellers consult the Gents, and for them manufacture various -dashing articles in electro-gold. Some of the ornaments for the cravat -are like large white currants, with gilt eels twisting round them; and -others like blanket-pins with water on the brain. We have also seen some -sporting Gents—of whom we shall hereafter speak—with mosaic gold heads -of horses and foxes stuck in their stocks. And they love rings in -profusion, which we have seen them at times wear outside their gloves. -But this, perhaps, was an advantage, as Gents are accustomed, in -general, to wear their hands large and red, with flattened ends to the -fingers. - -[Illustration] - -It is for the Gents to buy, that the print-sellers put forward those -dreary pictures of the _Pets of the Ballet_; consisting chiefly of -chubby young persons, in short petticoats and ungraceful attitudes, like -nothing ever seen on the stage anywhere; and coloured lithographs of -housemaids cleaning steps; and chambermaids with flat candlesticks in -their hands; and women with large black dots of eyes and heavy ringlets, -trying on shoes. One was very popular a little time ago. It represented -a young lady something between a hairdresser’s dummy and a barmaid, with -a man’s coat and hat on over her own dress. She was looking through an -eye-glass at the top of a whip, and underneath was written -“_damme!_”—why, or wherefore, or in what relation to the singular mode -of toilet she has adopted, or what the word itself meant in the -abstract, we never could make out. But the Gents seemed to know all -about it, and bought the picture furiously. - -By the tokens above mentioned—including always the staring shawl and the -_al fresco_ cigar—you may know the Gent when you see him, even if you -met him on the top of Mont Blanc—a place, however, where you are not -very likely to encounter him. He prefers Windmill Hill. - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAPTER IV. - - OF THE GENT AT THE THEATRE. - - -WHEN the Promenade Concerts usurped the place of the regular Drama at -our theatres, and Kœnig and Musard occupied the places of Kean and -Macready—when Juliet was neglected for Jullien, Prospero for Prospère, -and Viola for the violins, the Gent was exceedingly gratified thereby. -The Promenade became his Paradise; and he used to walk round and round, -keeping his face towards the audience (admiring the young ladies in the -dress tier), with the pertinacity of the grand banners in stage -processions; which, painted only on one side, appear to be endowed with -some heliotropic principle, that causes their emblazoned surfaces to -revolve always on the same plane with the footlights. But, whilst the -Gent conceived that he was here “doing it—rather,” in the railway -trowsers and dazzling stock, he totally forgot that the true _flaneur_ -would appear in something like evening costume, although he might not -altogether adopt the extreme _rigueur_. - -[Illustration] - -We were rather inquieted as to what the Gents would do when these -concerts closed. We made great search, and found at length that the -majority emigrated to the musical taverns, where they contrived to get -through the evening under the combined influence of Bellini, bottled -beer, and brandy-and-water; deriving additional excitement from the -novelty of seeing Somnambula performed through a haze of tobacco-smoke. - -[Illustration] - -But the theatre proper, is a favourite resort of the Gent, and -half-price to the boxes his usual plan of patronising it; more -especially when there is a ballet. Of the different parts of the house -he prefers the slips. If you are seated opposite, you will see him come -in about nine o’clock, and, leaving the panel door open, he stands on -the seat, with his hands in his pockets, his stick under his arm, and -thus makes his observations. Presently getting disgusted at the want of -respect shown to him by an old gentleman in front, who is watching the -performance most intently, with his head reclining on his arms, which -are again supported by the rail, and who requests that he will have the -goodness to shut the door, the Gent walks grandly away, and goes round -to the other side, evidently conceiving that his dignity has been hurt. -Here the same process of observation is repeated; and, if the Gent sees -a pretty girl in a private box, he stares unflinchingly at her, until he -thinks he has made an impression. And this is a strange lunatic notion -with Gents of every degree: they believe they have powers to fascinate -every female upon whom they cast their eyes, never thinking of the utter -contempt always excited by such obtrusiveness on the part of an entire -stranger. - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAPTER V. - - OF THE GENT, AFTER THE PLAY, AT A TAVERN. - - -BY the following signs may the Gent at this period be known: He walketh -six abreast under the Piazza, singing a negro air in chorus; and, -perchance, danceth a lively measure to the _refrain_, until he arriveth -at the entrance of Evans’s Grand Hotel. He descendeth the stairs, and, -on entering the room, he goeth to the upper end thereof; and, having -greeted the singers with a wink, calleth out “Charles!” No response -being made by the waiter, he rappeth with his stick upon the table, -until the peppercastor falleth on the floor; for which unseemly conduct -Evans mildly reproveth him. He taketh a sight at Evans in return, when -he can do so unobserved, and saith that he liketh him not so well as -Rhodes: and then he calleth “Henry!” Being served with the rabbit of -Wales, he saith to the funny singer,—“How are you, old feller!” and -presseth him to partake of his grog. He proffereth a prayer that the -funny singer will oblige him with a particular song. The funny singer -complieth; and the Gent singeth the chorus, prolonging it far beyond the -proper length, to the indignation of Evans. At its conclusion, his -animal spirits and enthusiastic approbation impel him to call -out—“Bravo, Rouse!” which promoteth political dissension amongst the -guests. Evans telleth him “that he cannot have the harmony of the room -disturbed by one individual”—a sentiment which the Gent applaudeth -lustily, and ordereth some champagne, which he drinketh, with the -singers, from a tankard. The anger of Evans is in a measure appeased. -The Gent joineth in a glee at the wrong time; but turneth away wrath by -buying a copy of it when finished. He ordereth more champagne, and -believeth that he is taken by the room for a “Lord about town.” He saith -he hath a pony that he will back against every other to do every thing. -He talketh of actresses, and winketh mysteriously. He telleth the funny -singer that if he will come and see him at his little place in the city, -he will put him up to a thing or two. At last he getteth troublesome, -and is coaxed away by his companions. The next morning he saith what a -spree he had, and that he sat opposite to an officer who knew one of the -ballet, and had spoken to her once behind the scenes; and so he thinketh -that he hath a link with the great world. But yet, upon reflection, he -hath not. - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAPTER VI. - - OF THE GENT IN THE OPEN AIR. - - -THE most popular lounging thoroughfares of the west-end, such as Regent -Street, the Burlington Arcade, Bond Street, or Piccadilly, are not those -in which the Gents are to be often encountered in the day-time. The -majority of them have evidently occupations, which keep them somewhere -until four or five o’clock, so that they never come out in their full -force until dusk, except on holidays; and then the short steamboats are -the best places to find them. In fine weather, they discard the staring -shawl for a blue handkerchief, with white spots; and then they provide -themselves with a cigar (the cigar again!), a bottle of stout, and a -Sunday paper, and, from the edge of the paddle-box, or from the top of -the cabin, defy the world. You can find out their locality by the vapour -of the cigar, as the “smoke which so gracefully curled” showed the -author of “The Woodpecker” that he was in the vicinity of a cottage. If -you cannot discover them by this sign, you must look out for their -studs—they have a great idea of studs—usually like blue raspberries, -which you will find glittering in the sun. If, by chance, they wear a -long stock, then they have two pins and a chain; but such pins! and such -a chain! You can never see any thing like them, unless you go to the -Lowther Arcade; and there, amongst those wondrous collections of -ornamental and useful articles which strew that thoroughfare—for all the -houses appear to have turned themselves and their contents out of the -window—you will find similar ones; meant, however, if we mistake not, -for the back plaits of ladies’ hair. And this reminds us that the -Lowther Arcade is a favourite lounge with the Gents: it is possible -that, from the glittering stores here displayed, they acquire their -taste for jewellery. The Lowther Arcade is to the men in the city -chambers what the Burlington is to the denizens of the Albany. It is, as -it were, the frontier between the two hemispheres of London life, to -which position it lays some claim, inasmuch as when very crowded, a -personal examination of effects sometimes takes place on passing it. And -great is the throng here of an afternoon, principally composed of Gents -and seedy foreigners, walking up an appetite for the incomprehensible -carte of Berthollini; or a doubtful cross between these two varieties of -the human species, found, upon investigation, to be attached to -billiard-tables. And, by the way, remember, that of all the scamps upon -town, your billiard-table _habitués_ are the darkest. Here they walk up -and down for hours, loading the air with the products of combustion from -their cheap cigars, (cigars again!) puffing the smoke into every bonnet -they meet, or standing at the entrance with a whip in their hands, as -though they had just got off their horse, and were keeping an -appointment. But in reality they have no horse, nor do they expect any -body. - -[Illustration] - -[Illustration] - -There are several loungers at this part of the town, who belong neither -to the race of Gents nor Foreigners, and certainly are not military, -although they evidently wish to be considered so; to whom we may briefly -allude; for they partake, in a slight degree, of the characteristics of -the former. They wear mustaches and curious frock-coats, sometimes with -dabs of braid about them. Their hair is wiry and dark, and they are -constantly arranging it with their hands. Sometimes they are seen with -spurs; occasionally they carry a black cane, shouldered like a gun, -twisted round their arm, with its head in their pocket, held upside -down, in any way but the normal one. Day after day, when it is fine; -nay, year after year; there they are, true _batteurs de pavé_. You may -follow them for hours, and you will never see them speak to, or -recognised by, any body. They do not even commune with each other. -Nobody knows them; they belong to no club, and are never seen anywhere -else. And it is remarkable that, like butterflies, you only come across -them in bright weather. Where they go to at other times we cannot tell; -we shall never be able to do so, until we have solved two other similar -enigmas with respect to pins and bluebottles; and their ultimate -destination is, to our thinking, the greatest marvel of the present day. -For the corpses of the latter, found in grocers’ windows and saucers of -unacknowledged poisons, and the rusty remains of the former discovered -between boards, bear no comparison to the numbers that have existed. -This disappearance is as remarkable as the generation of the fine woolly -substance you find in the corner of your waistcoat pocket, where you -have only kept a pencil-case and latch-key. But this by the way. - -[Illustration] - -We have said the Gent likes to be outside an omnibus. But he also loves -the roof—literally, the roof; and he almost rejoices when he finds that -the box is full, and he is obliged to perch there; for his mind appears -to be brightened by his position, and many eccentricities are induced. -He nods to other passengers as they pass, in a familiar manner, causing -them to puzzle themselves almost into insanity during the remainder of -the day, in endeavours to recollect who he could have been. He winks at -the elder pupils of the promenading Hammersmith academies, if on their -road; and tells old ladies, when they get out to go away, to give his -love at home, and that he will be sure to write to them. He also has a -cigar here, and he offers one to the coachman and other passengers. -Before stages were exterminated the Gent preferred the box just the -same; indeed, he felt in a measure degraded if he could not get it; and -when the coachman got down he liked to hold the reins and whip in the -proper manner, and show people that he was perfectly used to such a -thing, and, for aught they could tell, might have a four-in-hand of his -own. - -A variety of this last style of Gent, whom we may call the Driving Gent, -has lately come up about town. We were in the Strand the other -afternoon, and suddenly heard some notes from a post-horn, very badly -blown; upon which we looked round, and saw a dog-cart approaching, with -two horses to it, driven tandem fashion, with ferret-bells on their -bearing reins. On this dog-cart were four Gents—not two gentlemen and -two servants, as might have been expected. They were all dressed nearly -alike; hats with narrow brims, coats with large buttons, staring shawls, -and trowsers of the most prominent style—very _loud_ patterns, as a -friend appropriately called them. Three had cigars, and the other had -the horn; and it was evident that they thought they were “doing the fast -thing, and no mistake.” We saw them afterwards in the Park, and chanced -to follow them for some distance. The whole time they were there they -never exchanged a salute with a soul—evidently they were out of their -sphere; but went round and round, looked at by every body with something -between a stare and a sneer, until they drove off again. The last time -we saw them, they were shaking hands with a fighting man at the door of -a gin-shop. - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAPTER VII. - - OF THE GENT WHO GOES TO THE RACES. - - -THE Gent who goes to the races must not be confounded with the Sporting -Gent, of whom we may speak by-and-by. He knows nothing in the world -about the running, nor indeed does he care much about it, beyond the -manner in which it may affect a chance he has in a “Derby Sweep.” But he -thinks the fact of being seen there gives him a position in society, and -he would not miss the races for any thing. - -As the Gent who goes to the races is closely allied to the Gent we saw -at the night taverns, we will describe him in the same fashion. - -He buyeth a “D’Orsay blouse,” which he believeth to have been made under -the Count’s own eye; a blue cravat, spotted with white wafers; a whip, -and a pair of short patent boots, to produce an effect; in which he -mounteth a “fast four-horse coach” from the “Garrick’s Head.” At the -“Elephant and Castle,” being called “my noble sportsman” by the vender -of the cards, he buyeth one, and conceiveth that he is taken for Lord -Chesterfield. He asketh the vender, with a severe look, “if it is -Dorling’s?” to show that he is “a downy cove,” and not to be done. He -also hath a glass of pale ale. On Clapham Common he seeth a ladies’ -school, and boweth to the tall pupil; whereupon the tall pupil receiveth -a chiding from the English teacher for unseemly levity, and the tall -pupil accuseth the half-boarder of being the true culprit. At Mitcham he -hath another pale ale, and delighteth in being recognised by a man on a -pony, whom he sayeth is “Bob Croft;” after which, he winketh or kisseth -his hand to all the housemaids, who, on the Derby Day, invariably take -two hours and a half to make the front-room bed; swinging his legs over -the side seat of the roof, that his boots may dazzle the rustics. At -Sutton he hath another pale ale. This fully openeth his heart, and he -carolleth lustily until he reacheth the Downs, when he hopeth to be -taken for one of the Guards. A gipsy woman telleth him that he hath a -wicked eye, and that his company is agreeable to various female -Christian names; whereon he giveth her a shilling and the tail of a -lobster, the large claw of which he putteth to his nose, and in his -imagination doeth the “fast thing.” - -[Illustration] - -After the race (than which he sayeth he never saw a better, albeit he -hath seen but few) he thinketh it “nobby” to throw at the sticks, and -insisteth that the merchant do set up a bell, a feathered cock, and a -pear that discourseth music most unhappily, by pulling out the stalk, -and blowing through it. He seeth Lord ——, whom he knoweth by sight, next -to him, laden with crockery, dogs, and Napoleons, pincushions, -money-boxes, and soldiers in remarkable uniforms, partaking of the -Grenadier’s, Highlander’s, and Turk’s; and he striveth to knock down -more things than the patrician. But in this he faileth, and intruding on -the other’s aim, is called a “snob,” which, in the kindness of his -heart, he resenteth not, but carrieth his winnings in his hat back to -the coach, after which he walketh about “to see the fine women.” Next he -hath more lunch, until his heart openeth wider than ever, and he -thinketh, “This is life rather; what a fast one I am, and can’t I do it -when I choose! Hurrah!” He then challengeth strange men on the roofs of -distant vehicles to take wine, because he knoweth “they are the right -sort,” and finisheth by trying a hornpipe on the roof of his own, in all -the enthusiasm of ale, sun, lobster salad, dust, champagne, and a -post-horn. - -Going home, his humour knoweth no bounds. He tieth his handkerchief to -his stick for a flag, until he loseth his hat, when he tieth his -handkerchief round his head. He sitteth on the post-horn, and causeth it -to resemble a ram’s. He pelteth old gentlemen driving four-wheeled -chaises with snuff-boxes, and distributeth pincushions to the domestics, -breaking windows withal. He liketh to know who any one is who upsetteth -him by offensive speech; and tumbleth to the ground at Sutton, where he -wisheth for several pale ales while the coach stoppeth to cool the -wheels, which follow the example of the passengers, and begin to smoke. -Here he danceth a lively measure in the road before a landau, and -smileth wickedly at the occupants. Getting troublesome, he is put in the -inside, with the helper, the hamper, and the dirty plates, where he -remaineth until he reacheth London, when he sayeth, “Let’s make a night -of it.” But the manufacturing process is scarcely worthy the reader’s -attention. The next day he sayeth, “I must dine at Berthollini’s for two -months to come, and give up suppers.” - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAPTER VIII. - - OF CERTAIN GENTS IN SOCIETY. - - -ONCE, when like Mr. Tennyson we were “waiting for the train at -Coventry,” and thinking of Lady Godiva—the Gents would like to have -peeped at Godiva—we saw a penny show on the ground floor of an empty -house in a principal street of that good city. It consisted of “A Happy -Family”—a collection of various animals, of different natures, in one -cage—like the travelling menagerie opposite the National Gallery, but on -a much larger scale. The members of the “family” were quietly enjoying -the pleasure of each other’s society, with the exception of two monkeys, -one of whom sat sullenly scowling at some mice, as he hugged himself up -into a ball in every body’s way; and the other created much discomfort, -from time to time, by rushing about in a frantic manner, running over -his neighbours, performing totally useless feats of agility, and -deporting himself generally in an absurd and unseemly fashion. - -Now, taking monkeys to be the Gents of the animal kingdom, we were -pleased to see how closely they resemble their human brethren:—for the -Gents you encounter in society are of two kinds. Taking an assembly as -the place where you would be most likely to come upon them, you will -find them either endeavouring to “do the grand,” by not joining in the -current amusements of the evening; or overstepping all bounds of -ordinary behaviour—“going it,” to use their own words—and committing -every kind of preposterous and silly offence against the received rules -of society. - -If you talk to the first of these, whom we may call the dreary Gent, you -will always find that he has been “dining with some fellows he knows;” -or “having a weed with a man;” and you will be reminded of cigars. He -affects a drawling indifferent tone of voice, which he considers cool -and fashionable; and he prefers keeping outside the drawing-room door, -upon the landing, because “he don’t want to be bored to dance.” He wears -broad tails to his coat, and most probably the buttonholes are brought -together over his chest by a small snaffle; whilst, hanging by a bit of -chain from his waistcoat pocket, is a little broquet key, made like a -dog’s head, the nose of which winds up his watch. His stock is of -figured satin, very gay, and very narrow, and with long twisted ends, in -which is stuck a large pin—usually a claw holding a stone, as big and as -white as a pea of Wenham ice from a sherry cobbler. He will ask you, “if -you were up at Putney on Tuesday;” and if you were not, and do not even -know what great event took place on that day, be sure that he regards -you with great contempt. Like all Gents, he has a great notion of -champagne, which at supper he drinks by himself from a tumbler as he -would drink it at a night tavern, as aforesaid, from a tankard. - -Very opposite to him is the joyous Gent, whom we may term the Perrot of -private life. He always gives us the notion of a ballet-dancer spoiled, -especially in Pastorale or the Polka; in which latter dance, if he does -not happen to have for his partner a young lady of determined spirit, -and a keen discrimination of right and wrong, he will launch off into -all sorts of toe-and-heel tomfooleries, such as simple people used to -perpetrate when the Polka first broke out—such as you may still see, -after supper, at Jullien’s and Vauxhall, or at the “Gothics,” and other -ten-and-sixpenny demi-public hops, of the same genus, even at the -Hanover Square Rooms. The joyous Gent is very great indeed in cheap -dancing-academy figures. He knows the “Caledonians” and the “Lancers;” -he loves the “Spanish dance,” and patronises the gloomy, and almost -extinct “Cellarius.” And we will make any reasonable wager, that before -the quadrille begins, he will bow to his partner, and then to the corner -lady, or the one on his left. - -The social acquirements of the joyous Gent are many, and he delights in -every opportunity of exhibiting them. His strongest points are his -imitations of popular performers, especially Buckstone, in whose manner -he says, “well I never!—did you ever!—oh never!—oh wlaw!” in a manner -that elicits the loudest applause. Next he attempts Macready, as -follows:— - - “Nay—dearest—nay—if thou—wouldst have—me paint - The home—to which—could love—fulfil—its prayers,— - This hand—would lead—thee—listen.” - -Then Mr. T. P. Cooke, when he pitches his voice in a low falsetto, -hitches his trowsers, says, “My dear eyes! what! Sewsan!” and affirms -that “no true heart is altered by the gilt swabs on the shoulders, but -is ever open to the cry of a female in distress.” - -Possibly the next will be Mr. Paul Bedford, when he rolls his _r_ -and says, “Come along, my r-r-r-r-rummy cove; come along -comealong-comealong! how are you? how d’ye do? here we are! I’m a -looking at you like bricksywicksywicksies—I believe you my -boy-y-y-y-y!” - -And directly afterwards he turns up his nose with his forefinger, and -looks like Mr. Wright, as he exclaims, “Come, I say you know, guv’nor, -none o’ them larks eh! you didn’t ought to was.” - -All these are sure to be received with the greatest enthusiasm: and as -he usually gives the name of the actor he is about to imitate, before he -commences, he is spared the unpleasantry attendant upon the remark of -some guest, who says “Capital! famous! it’s Keeley himself,” when the -ingenious Gent is attempting an impersonation of Farren. - -But after all his surest card is Buckstone. - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAPTER IX. - - OF GENTS ON THE RIVER - - -THE grand gathering of Gents is only to be met with as one universal -réunion of all their varieties, on board the Sunday steamboats. No city -in the world produces so many holiday specimens of tawdry vulgarity as -London: and the river appears to be the point towards which all the -countless myriads converge. Their strenuous attempts to ape gentility—a -bad style of word, we admit, but one peculiarly adapted to our -purpose—are to us more painful than ludicrous: and the labouring man, -dressed in the usual costume of his class is, in our eyes, far more -respectable than the Gent, in his dreary efforts to assume a style and -tournure which he is so utterly incapable of carrying out. - -[Illustration] - -When joining a steamboat excursion the Gent never sits on the regular -benches placed for that purpose. He prefers the top of the -cabin-door—the steps of the paddle-boxes—the platform on which the -steersman is elevated, and the like situations. Here you may always see -him with a newspaper and a bottle of stout, a light blue stock, and, -being Sunday, a very new hat, and a pair of white trowsers: with Berlin -gloves, which he carries in his hand. For, indeed, not being used to -them, nothing presents so perfect an idea of tolerated discomfort as a -Sunday Gent in a pair of gloves. We can only compare the appearance of -his hands, when suffering under the infliction, to those of a Guy -Fawkes, or the tailors’ dressed-up dummies before alluded to. - -[Illustration] - -But there are also aquatic Gents, who row in boats on regatta -afternoons, and hope to be mistaken for “Leanders.” Their principal -characteristics when on the river, in this phase, are propensities to -wear pink silk jerseys, and silk caps. Now and then they have been known -to row in white kid gloves. But they may soon be detected; and are -especially found out by a race of amphibious aborigines who affect the -river and its banks, known to the natives as “Coalies” and “Bargees;” -and who call them _tailors_, and make unpleasant allusion to goose and -board, whereupon the anger of the Gents being called forth, they retort, -asking of the latter _amphibia_ above alluded to, “who eat the puppy pie -under Marlow bridge?” In which query, it is presumed, lies a hidden -taunt of rankling venom; for the “Bargees” immediately indulge in -language which would shock any one of a properly constituted mind, very -dreadfully—and call the Gents _sweeps_, not always without some -adjective prefixed, more powerful than polite. - -River Gents are very fond of talking of their “rooms;” which means the -rooms rented by Oxford and Cambridge rowing men, for their meetings -previous to matches, starting, &c. With these, and the members of them, -the Gent professes to have an intimate acquaintance, albeit most likely -he never entered them, and would in all probability be snubbed out, or -possibly kicked, if he made the attempt. - -Another great feature in the natures of the river Gents, is that of -belonging to four-oared cutter-clubs, with startling names; such as, the -Argonauts, the Corsairs, &c. They have their boats very elaborately -adorned—red and blue; and lots of gilding being considered the thing; -with the arms of the club—the only ones with which they have, in any -way, any thing to do—being emblazoned everywhere. In such clubs the -members row up to Putney, dine, get drunk, sing out of window, and come -back in an omnibus, leaving their waterman to bring the boat home the -next day. - -The river Gent always knows a man with a yacht, with whom he has once -been as far as Gravesend. This enables him to talk about the “Bargee;” -and even when he thinks he is entirely amongst the unsophisticated, to -launch into hazardous remarks about a “flying-jib,” and the build of the -_Prima Donna_. And if he in any way intends to make a great effect, he -has been frequently known to take the name of Lord Alfred Paget in vain; -which is a great thing, not only with river Gents, but all sorts of city -yacht men generally. - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAPTER X. - - OF THE GENT AT THE CASINOS. - - -IT is probable that, at some time or the other, you have been at a fête -in Paris. - -Because if you have, you will recollect the gay “Bal de Paris” that was -lighted up so tastefully when it became dark. You will recall the order -that reigned there, so different to the vulgar jostling and dreary riot -of the “Crown and Anchor” at Greenwich Fair. If you have not been there, -figure to yourself an enormous tent, say one hundred feet long, -supported by gilt pillars, with pretty festoons, and surrounded by -trophies and tricoloured flags, of red, blue, and white calico all -round. The floor is neatly boarded; and in the centre, an excellent -orchestra, of a dozen musicians, performing all the most popular -quadrilles, waltzes, and polkas of Paris. Five sous is charged for -entrance, and an extra demand of five sous is made each time you dance; -when you are not considered as transgressing etiquette in asking any -fair one that your choice may fall upon. The utmost order prevails. -Indeed, the municipal guards in attendance with their fierce mustaches -and tiger-skin helmets, will soon march you off between them if you -overstep decorum. - -With respect to the refreshments, there is not the immense bar which we -see at the Greenwich Fair and Moulsey Race-course dancing assemblies, -covered with cold boiled-beef, ham, fowls, bottled-porter, pipes, and -crockery; but then there is a small tent aside from the grand one, for -lemonade, _sirop de groseilles_, wine, coffee, and Rheims biscuits, -which has an air of refinement never met with in England at meetings of -this kind. Dancing is the sole object of the company; and dance they do; -and so did we, too, once upon a time (as soon as we got over our -thorough English idea that every body was looking at us), and we can -safely say we enjoyed ourselves much more there than we had done at any -dashing evening parties in London. And then the practice in French -conversation which it affords! You can speak so easily, so fluently, to -a pretty grisette in the middle of a dance, and under the influence of a -bottle of _vin ordinaire_, at twelve sous; it beats all the masters, -believe us; and we speak from experience. But all this by the way. All -have their hobbies, and pretty grisettes are ours. - -Few have watched these agreeable dances without lamenting the absence of -such things from our English festivals: we believe it is the Gents alone -who have proved the obstacles to their proper introduction. For they -would never keep quiet, and simply enjoy themselves. They would think it -necessary to “have a spree;” and could not exist ten minutes without -surreptitiously lighting a cigar, for any consideration. He would think -that he was not “nobby” if he did not have some wretched champagne: and -this miserable mess, getting into his head, would lead him into all -manner of offensive behaviour. For no Gent can stand much wine, at any -time; and Gent’s wine in particular, such as Casino champagne, fearfully -upsets them. - -When we first heard that M. Laurent was going to start a shilling -concert and dance we were much disquieted; for we knew at what a rampant -pitch Gentism would arrive there. But it was somewhat gratifying to see -that the sensible behaviour of a few strong-minded visitors somewhat -awed them into propriety. Still there are many who still assemble; and -the use of this chapter is, that you may be shown how to know and avoid -them. - -The Casino Gent especially likes a white over-coat, short, with large -buttons; and under this he disposes a gay shawl, so as to look like the -collar of a waistcoat. He carries a short stick, and this he never parts -with under any pretence; but in a polka you will see it high in air -above the whirling confusion of dances, and by this signal may trace his -progress about the room. - -[Illustration] - -His polka is not of the first order; it savours more of the dancing -academy than the drawing-room; and he has scarcely yet given up the -fandango atrocities before alluded to, that disgraced the polka on its -first introduction into England. Hence you will at times still see him -“kicking up behind and before” in an absurd manner, that “Old Joe,” of -Ethiopian celebrity, could scarcely have outdone. - -[Illustration] - -This Gent is not very clever at the _deux temps_. Before he knew what it -was, he used to imagine that certain fools were dancing the polka to a -waltz time; but now he has found out his error, albeit he still looks -upon it with a sort of contemptuous expression, such as unpleasant -people in general adopt when they are called upon to admire something -popular that they cannot do themselves. In the intervals of the dances -he promenades the room, laughing loudly about nothing particular, and -hitting his friends on the back with his stick, to attract their -attention. And no true Gent, got up as we have described, ever entered -the Casino but he did not firmly believe that he was _the_ man of the -assembly. Hence two Gents will always look savage at one another when -they meet. - -_Au reste_, the Gent is soon subdued, when too lively, by the proper -authorities: and he has great belief in the power of an acquaintance -with Mr. Henry Mott, who delights in elegant white cravats, and is the -head master of the ceremonies, nearest the band and the sherry-cobblers. - -With respect to other public balls, you will not meet many Gents at -Weippert’s, or the St. James’s. The men there are too strong for them; -not physically, but in social position; and the _lorettes_ of these -assemblies have quick eyes at detecting snobbishness of any kind. We -have seen one or two Gents at either place; but they always looked -especially wretched—as much out of their place as a toadstool in a -conservatory. The gentlemen did not insult them; they only tacitly -objected to be vis-à-vis to them, and quietly withdrew their partners -from the set, until the Gents stood alone. - -They are in greater force at _bals masqués_, in and out of costume. Many -Gents conceive that going in a scarlet coat and top-boots, and now and -then shouting “Yoicks!” constitutes the fast thing: hence there is -always one of this kind. Others adopt large noses, and false mustaches, -which they think is “doing it—rather!” But you never see them in -characteristic or original costumes; nor, lacking them, do they even -adhere to a recognised evening toilet. They prefer their beloved railway -trowsers, and flaring stocks and shawls, and centre all their notions of -full-dress in a paletot. M. Jullien is gradually changing all this: we -trust he will not stop until he places the masked ball—“bal marsk” the -Gent calls it—on a level with those of Paris. But then the complimentary -admissions must be weeded; and the authorities must learn that it is not -at all necessary to engage a few wretched supernumeraries from the -theatres, in dingy wardrobe costumes, to support the festivity of the -evening. All low people, including Gents, get drunk; and all drunken -people are miserable nuisances. - -_Note._—If ever you see two Gents dancing together at a _bal masqué_, -you are at liberty to kick and insult them, with every opprobrious -epithet. - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAPTER XI. - - OF THE GENT AT THE SEA-SIDE. - - -THERE is a period in the year of London existence, when that portion of -it termed the Season, _par excellence_, comes to an end with every body, -whatever their station; for very few there are who do not, somehow or -other, contrive to get out of town, when the great rush from home—that -flight of the soul of the departed Season—is at its height. Every body -who has not already gone, is going; nobody will own to staying in town, -even if compelled to do so. Houses are shut up, blinds newspapered, and -furniture tied up in bags: in fact, to make a wretched joke, whilst the -family is on the Rhine, its lamps and ottomans are all in Holland. There -are no more carriages whirling about the west-end streets: no more -thundering knocks echoing all day, and night, too, for the matter of -that, in the squares. You write letters, and get no answers: you make -calls, and find nobody at home, but a servant on board wages, who runs -out into the area to look at you before she answers the door, in great -astonishment. You think it almost disreputable to be seen about, so you -follow the rest, and go away. - -This feeling extends throughout all classes of society: and going down -lower and lower, at last reaches the Gent, who copies the gentleman, but -sees, as usual, every thing through a wrong medium. In fact, his -reflection is that of a spoon, in more senses than one: making the most -outrageous images of the original, distorting all the features, but -still preserving a strange sort of identity. - -The Gent has two favourite places of sea-side resort, according to his -idiosyncrasies: if joyous, he goes to Gravesend; if dreary, to Ramsgate. -Margate is neither one thing nor the other, and Brighton is really too -respectable. He cannot there show off: and to show off is the battle of -the Gent’s life. But Gravesend is delicious. The transit is cheap and -rapid; the lodgings are moderate; an effect in dress can be made at an -easy rate; and, above all, there is that largest ornamental chalk-pit in -the world, Rosherville. - -We are, perhaps, wrong in putting Gravesend under the head of sea-side -resorts: but the Gent considers it to be so. And, indeed, the baths -there offer peculiar advantages, combining the properties of both fresh -and salt water, with the impurities of both, and the attributes of -neither. Yellow slippers may also be purchased in the town; and this -circumstance induces the belief, that the neighbouring water is the sea; -a delusion which appears common not only amongst the Gents, but most of -the settlers. This, however, by the way: we were speaking of -Rosherville, the paradise which mainly draws the Gents from town. - -The costume of the Gent at Rosherville is analogous to the one he wears -at the promenade concerts, with the exception, that he has a more airy -cravat, of brighter hue, and smokes perpetually, except in the -ball-room; and he would do that, thinking it was “the thing,” if a board -did not warn him: showing that such warning was found absolutely -necessary. And here, whilst listening to the “military band” of the -first detachment of the Light Coldstream Indefatigables, he puts his hat -on one side, sits on a table, and tapping his short boot, which -discovers its form through his trowsers, with his equally curtailed -cane, believes, as usual, that he is _the_ man of the assembly. - -The Gent has several fashions in the dancing at Rosherville, different -from those of the Casino. In the first place, he takes off his hat, and -hangs it on a peg, if there is one vacant; if not, he leaves it at the -bar. Then he bows to his partner, and, if he knows her very well, courts -at the same time: and, subsequently, he salutes the corners with great -politeness, previous to commencing the first set. But this particular -set does not stand very high in estimation. In common with other balls -for the _basse classe_, its component Gents prefer dances of intricate -and abnormal fashion: and so it is here also considered _ton_ to perform -the _Caledonians_ (which nobody ever knows all through, except the -master of the ceremonies), the _Lancers_, _Spanish Dances_, the -_Cellarius_, even the _Gavotte_, and other frantic arrangements of -gasping professors, including, of course, “_La Polka_” as it is always -termed, in their parlance. And on “Gala Nights,” still more wonderful -evolutions are gone through, all of which are due to the inventive -genius of the aforesaid inimitable M.C., whose friendship the Gent -especially prizes. For at Rosherville that great man is to be -seen—actually, really to be seen—walking like an ordinary person, -amongst ordinary fellow creatures. He is no longer a phantasy of mental -conception—not that zephyr in pumps bounding amidst new-laid eggs and -tea-things, or matchlessly performing his Marine Hornpipe in top-boots, -or Chinese Fandango in handcuffs, or Milanese Fling in the double -jack-chains; but a substantial reality,—the glass of fashion, the mould -of form, whom we can never fancy putting off the pumps of ceremony for -the high-lows of necessity—in a word, THE BARON NATHAN. - -The Gent at Ramsgate would be the last to persuade that it is really a -dull place. He is one of the most strenuous upholders of that greatest -of all popular delusions suffered to go unchallenged, that English -sea-side watering-places generally are pleasant spots to emigrate to, -and Ramsgate in particular. We know, as far as we are concerned, that we -once underwent transportation for seven days to that penal settlement; -and that we never before suffered (we expect in common with every body -else) from such a ghastly gasping after the belief that we were “doing a -holiday,” as the Gent would say, as during that time. - -How the Gent makes up his mind to go to Ramsgate at all we cannot make -out; but there he always is: and he divides the measure of his revelry -thereat into four goes of excitement: Going on the sands; Going out -sailing; Going on the pier; and Going to Sachett’s. - -_Going on the sands_ is the weakest of the Gent’s pastimes: but he says, -with a loud laugh, that it is to see the ladies bathe. Elsewhere it -would be confined to watching children bury one another in the sand, -with small wooden spades—a performance which, like a pantomime, however -interesting on first representation, somewhat flags in interest upon -repetition. The Gent usually takes two chairs to rest upon, and stares -hard at every body else, especially the females, the while he sketches -feeble designs with his short stick, which he never by any means parts -with, on the sand. - -[Illustration] - -_Going out sailing_ is also a slow business—slower than a few friends -after a dinner-party for a carpet polka; or a standard five-act-play; or -a wedding breakfast; or the outside half of yesterday’s _Times_; or a -book written with a “high moral purpose;” or a Charing-Cross-to-the-Bank -omnibus—and that is saying a good deal: the Gent, however, likes it: for -then he puts on a shirt ruled with blue ink, the collar of which he -turns down: and talks of “jibs,” and “tacks,” and “sheets,” and also -alludes to the man he knows who keeps a yacht. And he takes his -cigar—his loved cigar—as soon as he leaves the harbour. And as he leaves -the harbour he stands in an attitude, and believes that the young ladies -who show their ankles on the pier imagine him to be a Red Rover. - -Perhaps _Going on the pier_ is the Ramsgate Gent’s greatest treat: -because then he can put on his gay clothes, and once more think that he -is rather the thing. But in this the Gent makes a great mistake. He -dresses but once in the day, and then puts on a frock-coat, which he -wears to dinner, and all the evening; not exactly understanding, we -expect, what is the real difference between morning and evening toilets. -For as Gentlemen usually dress after a walk, so do Gents dress before -one: and if they do not appear in their “best” to walk up and down the -pier—which at Ramsgate is the chief straw that the sinking _ennuyés_ -clutch at—and stare superciliously at all whom they do not know, they -think they are snobs—the snob being to the Gent what the Gent is to the -Gentleman. - -The prevalence of Gents at Ramsgate, in such numbers that the fine -weather brings them out like bluebottles, is easily accounted for. -There is a certain class of families who go to Ramsgate every year, -because they were there the last. They come either from the -Pancras-cum-Bloomsbury district of London, or having shops, or -ware-rooms, or counting-houses in the City, live in suburban villas -comfortably off, and believing greatly in all conventional rules of -society, getting perhaps once a year to the Opera, thinking a great -deal of Mansion-house balls, and believing to a great degree in -fashion-books. Well, these good folks affect Ramsgate greatly, and so -take their families with them. The girls of this class pass muster -pretty well; Clapham or Chiswick academies teaching them certain -school accomplishments, which pass current for a decent education -amongst their equals—but the boys are always Gents. The same feeling -which induces their parents to believe that the more showily they can -set out their dinner-table the higher they rise in social life, makes -these sons imagine that two or three dear and flashy articles of dress -place them on a level with the well-born and well-bred Gentleman. -Accustomed in their own spheres to take the lead, they will not go -where they meet men who attain very good stations in society without -large studs or noisy-patterned cravats; and constantly associating, -one with the other, they get lost beyond all redemption. And of these -is the migratory young-man society of Ramsgate chiefly composed. - -Of the same class is the Gent at Boulogne. He is at first a long time -being persuaded to go there; because he knows that his ignorance of the -language will be an awful drop to his consequence, and bring him down at -once to his elements in a very humiliating manner. But after a while, -finding that every body else knows something about it but himself, he -determines to go. And in this wise doth he deport himself. - -_Imprimis_ he alloweth his mustaches to grow, which giveth him the look -of an officer-lover in a farce at the Eagle, but assimilateth to the -foreigner in nothing. He delighteth in brutal conduct to the native -functionaries, which he taketh to be a fine display of national spirit, -and thinketh that they are impressed with respect for him thereby. He -calleth the _vin ordinaire_ “rot,” but drinketh brandy to intoxication. -He shouteth with hoarse joyless laughter at French peculiarities, and -thinketh that, by so doing, he displayeth a fine-natured _naïveté_. He -deemeth the greatest discovery ever made to be that of a tavern whereat -British stout is retailed; and thinketh that he maketh a joke of -excellent pungency when he saith “Waterloo,” to a French soldier. He -careth not for the indigenous hotels, but loveth better the English -boarding-house, where he can have “a good John Bull joint, and no French -kickshaws:” John Bull being represented generally as a vulgar top-booted -man verging on apoplexy, with, evidently, few ideas of refinement, -obstinate and hard-natured; but the Gent conceiveth that upon occasions -it is ennobling to profess attachment to him. - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAPTER XII. - - NOTES OF CERTAIN OTHER GENTS. - - -THERE is a species of Gent who, moving only in a third or fourth rate -sphere, goes to a party in a white cravat and turned up wristbands, and -carries his hat into the room because he had heard that Gentlemen do so. -He is generally an immense card. We chanced to stand next to a specimen -of this kind, one evening, in a quadrille, and the only remark we heard -him make was inquiring of his partner, after two or three false starts, -whether she preferred dancing on a carpet or the bare boards: to which -the young lady replied, having looked down to see what the floor was -(that she might not “put her foot in it,” figuratively speaking), that -she preferred a carpet, she thought: and this was the beginning and end -of the conversation. - -[Illustration] - -A sample of this variety fixed himself upon us once, as we were taking a -stroll, merely upon the intimacy of a casual party introduction two or -three weeks before, where we had procured him some trifle at supper, -solely because we did not choose to run the chance of allowing him to -approach the table and stand near the pretty girl over whose white -shoulder we stretched our arm to help him. We found out that he was -minutely particular about his deportment in the street, and a pretty -treat we gave him. First of all we rattled our stick against the area -railings of the houses: then we bought penny bunches of cherries at the -stalls, and munched them as we went along, continually pressing him to -take some, or propelling the stones, six at a time, along the pavement -in front of us. We cut off the angles of all the squares, and ran very -fast across all the crossings; and then took off a little boy’s cap, and -carried it a short way with us, to provoke a few salutations in our -wake, of that pleasing and forcible kind which only little boys in the -streets can give with such piquancy of expression. We finally got rid of -him by insisting upon stopping at the corner of Berners Street to see -_Punch_—an exhibition we never, by any means, omit playing audience to: -although we know many Gents who think their station in society would be -lost for ever, were they once observed taking an interest in any thing -half so common. - -There is a peculiar race of Gents to be seen, through the windows, -lounging in tobacco-shops; some leaning against the counter, others -seated on tubs, or occupying the like positions. This employment is -another variety of what Gents think “fast.” - -[Illustration] - -The presiding goddess of this temple of smoke is a scantily educated -woman, who has been more or less pretty at some time or another; but -still retains, it would seem, sufficient attraction to draw the Gents -about her. Here they will pass hours, finding intense pleasure in her -commonplace uninteresting conversation—retailing dull jokes, worn-out -anecdotes, or vapid inevitable puns to each other; and staring at any -casual purchaser who may enter the shop, as if he were an intruder on -their domain. - -There are the Gents, also, who are afterwards seen in the theatres at -half-price: in the slips during the performances, and in the saloon -during the _entr’acte_—the class who, whilst they carry on brisk -conversation and smart repartees (of a sort) with the least reputable in -public life, form the vapid nonentities of private society when females -are present. They are men, to use a phrase more expressive than elegant, -strongly addicted to _bear parties_—who think “a glass of grog and a -weed” the acme of social enjoyment, and who look upon all entertainments -that throw them into the society of ladies, or, indeed, any one of -intellect and refinement, as bores. They are the great men at the night -taverns, before alluded to. All that is, however, harmless in its way; -for the majority of those houses are exceedingly well conducted: and, -indeed, it is only the Gents of the lowest sphere who deem it spirited -to mix themselves up, in other resorts, with the ruffians of the ring -and the most degraded of either sex, in an atmosphere of oaths and -odours, where indecency is mistaken for broad humour and dull slang for -first-rate wit. - -It is the cheap tailor who advertises, to whom this style of Gent goes -for his clothes. He is caught by the poetry and the names of the -articles related; as well as of the establishment, whether it be -“Paletot Palace,” “the Kingdom of Kerseymere,” or “the Walhalla of -waistcoats,” as it is termed in those small but lively works of fiction -thrown with such unsparing liberality through the windows of railway -omnibuses. The following is an announcement peculiar to the -Frankensteins of these strange creations. We have written it, and -present the copy-right to any of them that may choose to adopt it. - - - TRIUMPHS OF BRITISH VALOUR. - - Fame’s trumpet says we’ve had victories enough, - And our great soldiers leave their arms to follow the plough: - But first to London they came with their retinues complete; - Everybody makes a holiday to join in the fête. - Gents’ clothes now are cheap; buy, if you have not, - And go to Sholomansh’s celebrated depot. - Mark their drab Chesterfield of the first water, - With the first rain ’twill shrink three inches shorter. - Twelve shillings new—it surely can’t be dear, - And warranted to wear for half the year. - The celebrated window-cleaning blouse, - To buy at six-and-six you can’t refuse. - The pound dress-coat is worthy of all praise, - And fashionably made of fine black baize. - With contract suits they build for eager nobs, - In the most dashing style of Sunday snobs. - Coarse cloth, rude work, bad cutting, and quick wear, - With Sholomansh what other can compare? - And recollect—old suits to be return’d - If when worn out they’re not worth being burned. - To suit all climes, Iceland and Ararat, - For cash he’ll dress you out, and with eclat. - - - LIST OF PRICES. - - £ s. d. - - Dress coats, warranted to wear three 1 10 0 - weeks - - Ditto trowsers, fashionable plaid or 0 9 6 - railroad - - Splendid vests, of the revolving 0 5 6 - bottle-jack style - - Pasha and Taglioni wrappers, of the last 0 16 0 - horse-cloth out-for-the-day - half-price-to-the-play pattern - - Young Gent’s Rob Roy, and Glenalvon 0 15 0 - dresses - - Montemolin cloak, 9 yards round, 1 10 0 - warranted to hide the seediest clothes - - Metropolitan shooting costume, for the 2 15 0 - fields in the vicinity of London - (complete) - - Fashionable Epping hunting-coat 1 10 0 - - Racket blouses and morning tenderdens, 0 3 6 - adapted to Gents in the Queen’s Bench, - from - - - A large assortment. Terms cash. - - _Vivat Regina._ No money returned. - - - N.B.—Observe the Address: SHOLOMANSH, - CHEAP TAILOR and GENT-FITTER, CITY. - - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAPTER XIII. - - THE GENTS VIEWED WITH RESPECT TO THEIR EXTINCTION. - - -IF ANY influential member, bent upon being of service to his country, -would bring in a bill for the “Total Repeal of the Gents,” he would -confer the greatest benefit on society; for until they are entirely -knocked on the head, our public amusements can never be conducted with -the propriety which distinguishes those of Paris. - -We believe, with sorrow, that this offensive race of individuals is -peculiar to our own country: we know of no foreign type answering to -them. If persons establishing resorts where they mostly congregate, -could take out an assurance against Gents, as they do against fire, what -a blessing it would be! - -We think it would be an excellent plan for respectable electors to make -members pledge themselves to vote for the heavy taxation of various -articles in which Gents chiefly delight. In this tariff we would have -blue stocks; large breast-pins; snaffle coat-studs; curled hair; -collar-galled hacks; Spanish dances; Cellarius waltzes; Caledonian -quadrilles; lithographed beauties, plain and coloured; cheap cigars; -large pattern trowsers; gay under-waistcoats or “vests;” thick sticks; -short canes; walking-whips; and boxes of omnibuses, as distinguished -from omnibus boxes. If the Gents could not enjoy these things without -paying heavy prices for them they would go without; for a great effect -at a small outlay is the main intention of all their follies. - -And we also think it might be serviceable towards the great end of -putting Gents out altogether, when any one chances to say, “I know a -Gent,” to exclaim immediately either “You know a _what_?” in accents of -horror, or “You look as if you did!” in a tone of contempt, to bring him -to a sense of his miserable position—in whichever way you think will -best work upon his feelings. - -Doudney, Moses, Prew, and Hyams! patrons as ye are of literature -generally, and poets especially! by whose influence the taste of the -Gents is in some measure guided, help us to effect some little reform! -Do not, we beseech you, allow your emblazoned window-tickets to lead -this wretched race into such strange ideas respecting the “fashions” as -they are wont to indulge in. Abolish all those little pasteboard -scutcheons which point out your gaudy fabrics as “Novel,” “The Style,” -“Splendid,” “The Thing,” “Parisian,” and the like. Cut their waistcoats, -in charity, as if you intended them for gentlemen instead of Gents. -Reform your own bills, and appeal not to the sympathies with such wild -innovations: and persuade the literary Gent who writes those charming -little _brochures_ about your establishments—whispered to be the light -contributor to Blackwood’s Magazine—which are presented gratuitously -with the periodicals, to lead the minds of the Gents into another -channel. Let them no longer imagine that the usual method of dressing of -an acknowledged leader of fashion—the gentleman of the greatest taste in -England—is in a puckered six-and-threepenny blouse with braid round the -pockets (for such is the garment that bears his name), a rainbow-tinted -stock, drugget-pattern trowsers, and nine-and-sixpenny broad-brimmed -hats. Do this, and send all your present stock to America. - -Editors of Sporting Papers! you are renowned for obliging courtesy: -assist the good work with your able pens, by never allowing the term -“Sporting Gent” to appear in your columns, whether he undertakes to -drive a pony to death, match his dog to be torn to pieces last in a -struggle, or advance a pecuniary inducement for two savages to pummel -each other’s heads to jelly. Did you ever see a “Sporting Gent?” You -must have done so; and you have noted his coarse hands, his flattened -fingers, and dubby nails; his common green coat, his slang handkerchief, -and his low hat: his dreary conversation entirely confined to wiredrawn -accounts of wagers he has won, and matches he can make for any thing. -Never give him a chance of attaining publicity, and he will go out and -disappear altogether, leaving the coast clear for gentlemen. - -We are not altogether without a hope that, by strong and energetic -measures, the Gents may be put down—this would be a real “improved -condition of the people” much to be desired. A Court of Propriety might -be established at which Gents could be convicted of misdemeanors against -what is usually considered _comme-il-faut_. And punishments might be -awarded proportionate to the nature of the offence. For a heavy one a -Gent might be transported for fourteen days into good society, where he -would be especially wretched; for a light one he might enter into heavy -recognizances not to smoke cigars on omnibuses or steamers, not to wear -any thing but quiet colours, not to say he knew actresses, and not to -whistle when he entered a tavern, or, with his fellows, laugh loudly at -nothing, when ensconced in his box there, for any time not exceeding the -same period. A Court of Requests would be of no use; for it is of little -avail requesting the Gents to do any thing. Compulsion alone would -reform them. - -We trust the day will come—albeit we feel it will not be in our -time—when the Gent will be an extinct species; his “effigies,” as the -old illustrated books have it, being alone preserved in museums. And -then this treatise may be regarded as those zoological papers are now -which treat of the Dodo: and the hieroglyphics of coaches and horses, -pheasants, foxes’ heads, and sporting dogs found on the huge white -buttons of his wrapper, will be regarded with as much curiosity, and -possibly will give rise to as much discussion and investigation as the -ibises and scarabæi in the Egyptian Room of the British Museum. We hope -it may be so. - - - VIZETELLY BROTHERS AND CO. PRINTERS AND ENGRAVERS, FLEET STREET - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - ● Transcriber’s Notes: - ○ Missing or obscured punctuation was silently corrected. - ○ Typographical errors were silently corrected. - ○ Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation were made consistent only - when a predominant form was found in this book. - ○ Text that: - was in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_). - - - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE NATURAL HISTORY OF THE GENT *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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} - .c018 { margin-left: 1.39%; margin-top: 1em; font-size: 85%; } - .c019 { margin-top: 1em; text-indent: 1em; margin-bottom: 0.5em; } - .c020 { vertical-align: top; text-align: left; text-indent: -1em; - padding-left: 1em; padding-right: 1em; } - .c021 { vertical-align: top; text-align: right; padding-right: 1em; } - .c022 { vertical-align: top; text-align: right; } - body {width:80%; margin:auto; line-height: 125%; } - .tnbox {background-color:#E3E4FA;border:1px solid silver;padding: 0.5em; - margin:2em 10% 0 10%; } - h1 {font-size: 2em; text-align: center; } - h2 {font-size: 1.50em; } - .std-table {font-size:85%; } - </style> - </head> - <body> - -<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Natural History of the Gent, by Albert Smith</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Natural History of the Gent</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Albert Smith</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: September 17, 2021 [eBook #66323]</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: deaurider, Barry Abrahamsen, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)</div> - -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE NATURAL HISTORY OF THE GENT ***</div> - -<div class='figcenter id001'> -<img src='images/cover.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c000' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> -<img src='images/frontis.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -<div class='ic002'> -<p>“Come along, my r-r-r-r-rummy cove; come along! how are you? how d’ye do? here we are my bricksywicksywicksy!!!”</p> -</div> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div> - <h1 class='c002'><span class='c003'>THE NATURAL HISTORY</span><br /> <br />OF<br /> <br /><span class='c004'>THE GENT.</span></h1> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id003'> -<img src='images/publogo.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c001'> - <div><span class='c005'>BY ALBERT SMITH.</span></div> - <div class='c006'>LONDON:</div> - <div class='c000'><span class='c007'>DAVID BOGUE, 86 FLEET STREET.</span></div> - <div class='c000'><span class='c008'>MDCCCXLVII.</span></div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c009'> - <div>LONDON:</div> - <div class='c000'>VIZETELLY BROTHERS AND CO. PRINTERS AND ENGRAVERS,</div> - <div class='c000'>PETERBOROUGH COURT, FLEET STREET.</div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_v'>v</span> - <h2 class='c010'>PREFACE.</h2> -</div> -<p class='c011'><span class='sc'>In</span> the Sunday newspapers of May 24, of -the past year, 1846, appeared the following -paragraph:—</p> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c001'> - <div>MARYLEBONE.</div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c012'>A “<span class='sc'>Gent</span>.”—A respectable-looking man, named -James Dickenson, was charged by Brooks, 169 S, -who said, “Please your worship, at two o’clock -yesterday morning (Monday), I found this ‘gent’ -drunk in Park Road, and took him into custody.”</p> - -<p class='c013'><i>Mr. Rawlinson</i>: Who do you say you found -drunk?</p> - -<p class='c013'><i>Constable</i>: This “gent,” your worship.</p> - -<p class='c013'><i>Mr. Rawlinson</i>: What do you mean by “gent?” -There is no such word in our language. I hold a -man who is called a “gent” to be the greatest -<span class='pageno' id='Page_vi'>vi</span>blackguard there is. (To the prisoner): What do -you say to this? I hope you are not a “gent.”</p> - -<p class='c013'><i>Prisoner</i>: I am not, sir, and I trust that I know -the distinction between a “gent” and a “gentleman.”</p> - -<p class='c013'><i>Mr. Rawlinson</i>: I dare say you do, sir, and I -look upon the word “gent” as one of the most -blackguard expressions that can be used.</p> - -<p class='c013'>The prisoner was fined 5<i>s.</i>, which he directly -paid.</p> - -<p class='c014'>We were exceedingly delighted when we -read this police report. We had laboured, for -three or four years, to bring the race of -Gents into universal contempt; and we at -last found that an intelligent and respected -London magistrate had publicly stated, from -the bench, his opinion of the miserable class -in question; and that it exactly coincided with -our own. But fearing—from seeing the odious -word still starting up in shops, ticketed to wild -<span class='pageno' id='Page_vii'>vii</span>articles of dress, to be hereafter alluded to, as -well as hearing it every now and then applied -by one “party” to another of his acquaintance—that -the species was not yet extinct; fearing -this, in spite of our direct attacks in <i>Punch</i> and -<i>Bentley’s Miscellany</i>, and our side-wind blows -through the medium of our esteemed friend -John Parry, certain burlesques at the Lyceum, -and various other channels—we determined -upon reconsidering all we had ever propounded -on the subject, and publishing it in the form -now presented to the reader, that all might -clearly see who the Gents were, and shun them -accordingly.</p> - -<p class='c015'>And so we leave our little book in your -hands, published at a price, as a prospectus -always says, “that will bring it within the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_viii'>viii</span>reach of all classes.” And we request your -co-operation towards the great end of putting -Gents out altogether. For they form an offensive -body, of more importance than you would -at first conceive; and both public and private -society will be much benefited by their extinction.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<img src='images/i008.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c001'> - <div><span class='pageno' id='Page_1'>1</span><span class='c004'>THE NATURAL HISTORY</span></div> - <div class='c000'>OF</div> - <div class='c000'><span class='c016'>THE GENT.</span></div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='chapter'> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER I.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>WHAT THE GENT IS GENERALLY.</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i001.jpg' width='200' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'> -<span class='sc'>The</span> species of the human race, -to the consideration of which -we are about to draw the -attention of the reader, -is of all others the most -unbearable, principally from an assumption of -<span class='pageno' id='Page_2'>2</span>style about him—a futile aping of superiority -that inspires us with feelings of mingled contempt -and amusement, when we contemplate -his ridiculous pretensions to be considered -“the thing.”</p> - -<p class='c015'>The Gent is of comparatively late creation. -He has sprung from the original rude untutored -man by combinations of chance and cultivation, -in the same manner as the later varieties -of fancy pippins have been produced by the -devices of artful market-gardeners, from the -original stock wild crab of the hedges. The -fashion which Gents have of occasionally addressing -one another as “my pippin” favours -this analogy: and when they use this figure of -speech, they pronounce it as follows,—placing -great stress on the first letter, and then waiting -awhile for the rest,—“Ullo, my P—ippin!”</p> - -<p class='c015'>After much diligent investigation, we find -no mention made of the Gent in the writings -of authors who flourished antecedent to the -last ten years.</p> - -<p class='c015'><span class='pageno' id='Page_3'>3</span>In the older works we meet with “<i>bucks</i>” -and “<i>gay blades</i>” and “<i>pretty fellows</i>;” and -later with “<i>men upon town</i>,” “<i>swells</i>” and -“<i>downy ones</i>,” or “<i>knowing coves</i>:” but the -pure Gent comes not under any of these orders. -He was not known in these times. He is -scarcely understood now so universally as we -could wish; but we trust that his real character -will, before long, be properly appreciated. -He is evidently the result of a variety of our -present condition of society—that constant -wearing struggle to appear something more -than we in reality are, which now characterizes -every body, both in their public and private -phases.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Our attention was first called to the Gents in -the following manner:—</p> - -<p class='c015'>We were in the habit of occasionally coming -into contact with certain individuals, who when -they spoke of their acquaintances were accustomed -to say “I know a Gent,” or, “A Gent -<span class='pageno' id='Page_4'>4</span>told me.” Never by any good luck did we -hear them speak of Gentlemen. But it occurred -that we chanced, on future occasions, to -see one or two of the Gents above alluded -to, and then we understood what they were.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id005'> -<img src='images/i004.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>The first Gent we ever saw, we encountered -on the roof of an omnibus, with his hat a little -on one side, and a staring shawl round his -<span class='pageno' id='Page_5'>5</span>neck. He was also smoking a cigar, as he sat -next to the driver, in order that he might reap -the benefit of his anecdotes and remarks concerning -the horses and vehicle, to which the -Gent replied at intervals, “Ah,” and “Yes,” -and “I should say not,” and “Just so,” with -other similar phrases used to fill up unmeaning -dialogue. We heard him speak of “a Party -he knew,” and he was very much interested at -hearing that the off-horse worked “in the fust -bus as ever Shillibeer started, and was took -from the Angel to be put on the Elephant.” -He was also informed of the singular speculation -in which “the guvner give a fippun note -for that little mare, and was offered eight -sovrins for her within a week, though she was -a reg’lar bag o’ bones;” upon which the Gent -observed that “very often those sort of horses -were the best.” Having delivered himself of -which opinion, he rolled his cigar about in his -mouth, gave a whiff in our face, and then -<span class='pageno' id='Page_6'>6</span>removed it between his middle and ring-finger, -to offer it to another Gent on the roof, who -begged the favour of a light.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id006'> -<img src='images/i007.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>The next Gent we met was in the street. -He wore large check trowsers of the true light -comedian pattern, which appeared to have been -made expressly for Mr. Walter Lacy, or Mr. -Wright: and he had on a short odd coat; -such a one as that in which Mr. Buckstone -might be expected to go to a ball. He carried -a little stick of no earthly use, with a horse’s -silver hoof on the top of it, which he kept to his -lips always; and he also patronised the staring -shawl and cigar; and he evidently imagined that -he was “rather the Stilton than otherwise”—“<i>Stilton</i>” -or “<i>cheese</i>” being terms by which -Gents imply style or fashion. He was pursuing -a pretty girl of modest deportment, who was -possibly going home—for it was evening, when -Gents and cheap umbrellas chiefly flourish—after -her hard day’s toil at a bonnet-shop. The Gent -<span class='pageno' id='Page_7'>7</span>had not the sense to see that his advances were -repulsed with scorn and indignation. He -<span class='pageno' id='Page_8'>8</span>imagined that by addressing his coarse annoying -gallantry to an unprotected girl, he was -acting as if he was “upon town,” “a fast -man,” “up to a thing or two,” or some other -such epithet, which it is the ambition of the -Gent to get attached to his name.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id005'> -<img src='images/i009.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>We met the next Gent in the boxes at one -of the theatres, whither he had come in the -full-dress of a light blue stock, and cleaned -white gloves re-dirtied. We knew they had -been cleaned; they exhaled a faint camphine -odour, as he put his hand on the brass rail and -leant over us, and there was none of that sharpness -of outline in their dirt which new gloves -evince: it was denser, cloudier, more universal; -and the knuckles and nails were remarkably -so. This Gent also had a little stick. -He lighted a cigar at the lobby-lamp on -leaving the house, and pulled a staring shawl -out of his hat as he whistled an air from one -of the burlesques. He went over to the Albion, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_9'>9</span>the room of which was quite full; and after -standing in the centre for a few seconds—tapping -<span class='pageno' id='Page_10'>10</span>his teeth with his stick, whilst his left -hand was thrust into the hinder pocket of his -coat, dragged round to his hip—apparently -disgusted at not creating any sensation, he -turned round on his heel, and crossing Covent -Garden, ultimately dived into Evans’s.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Then we thought that the Gents must be -a race by themselves, which social naturalists -had overlooked, deserving some attention; and -we determined to study their habits, and allot -to them a certain position which at that time -they did not appear to have.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id003'> -<img src='images/i010.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_11'>11</span> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER II.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE MANNER BY WHICH GENTS ARE KNOWN.</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i011.jpg' width='300' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'> -<span class='sc'>Experience</span> proves that -pictures are the best -media for conveying information -at the outset -of tuition. Hence, -in the study of Natural -History, for -instance, tyros learn the animals with their letters: -their hornbooks have zoological alphabets, -coloured in tints more or less eccentric; and, -although led away by the representations, they -sometimes read “A for donkey, B for great -cow, C for poor puss,” yet, on the whole, the -way is a good one.</p> - -<p class='c015'><span class='pageno' id='Page_12'>12</span>So, we will teach those not yet well up in the -manner, by pictures, how they may know the -Gents.</p> - -<p class='c015'>The finest specimens may be seen in the -coloured “Fashions,” with which certain comically-disposed -tailors adorn their windows. In -these presumed representations of prevalent -style, some favourite west-end locality is taken -for the background; and, in front, are many -Gents, in such attitudes as may display their -figures and little boots to the best advantage. -Some are supposed to be arrayed for an evening -party, in green dress-coats and puce tights. -Some, again, are represented as sportsmen, -with pinched-in waists, that the shock of the -first leap, or the kick of the first shot, would -knock in half; and others are promenade Gents, -in frock coats and corded trowsers, bowing to -one another with much grace, or leading little -Gents by the hand, who look like animated -daguerreotypes of themselves. Well, then, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_13'>13</span>these are Gents, <i>pur sang</i>. Observe, as the -showman says, observe their fashionably-shaped -hats, their Lilliputian boots, their tiny gloves. -There is no deception. Observe that all their -positions are evidently the result of much study; -and that the greater part of them have one arm -<span class='pageno' id='Page_14'>14</span>elevated, and the palm open, with the air of a -conjurer when he says,—“You will perceive I -have nothing in my hand.”</p> - -<div class='figcenter id005'> -<img src='images/i013.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>Of the same family as these Gents, are the -fashionable loungers in pantomimes, who walk -about with the distinguished females in the -scanty <i>visites</i> of pink glazed calico, trimmed -with ermine; and the lovers in the blue coats -and white trowsers on the sixpenny valentines, -who direct the attention of the adored one to -the distant village church.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id007'> -<img src='images/i014.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_15'>15</span> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER III.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE CHIEF OUTWARD CHARACTERISTICS OF THE GENT.</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i015.jpg' width='300' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'> -<span class='sc'>One</span> has only to -look into the advertisements -of -cheap tailors, and -the windows of -ticketed shops, to -form a very good -notion of the -other principal -marks by which -the Gent may be distinguished.</p> - -<p class='c015'><span class='pageno' id='Page_16'>16</span>It should be borne in mind, that the main -object of the Gent is to assume a position -which he conceives to be superior to his own.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Now this, he fancies, is in a great measure -accomplished by out-of-the-way clothes—a -mark of superiority which has the advantage -of requiring but a small outlay of intellect; -and cunning manufacturers invent things on -purpose to suit this taste, as the men of Manchester -export gay-coloured, large-figured patterns -for the negroes.</p> - -<p class='c015'>For him the cheap Tailor announces the -“Gent’s Vest”—which is the Hebrew for -“Snob’s Waistcoat”—as patronised by the -nobility. To catch his eye alone, are the -representations of men of <i>ton</i> put at the side of -the advertisements; and, for his inspection, do -the dummies stand at the doors of the shops, -invested in the splendour of an entire suit, with -an impossible waist, “made to measure for the -same terms.”</p> - -<p class='c015'><span class='pageno' id='Page_17'>17</span>And we may observe that the Gents usually -speak of their get-up as <i>the ticket</i>—the term -possibly being used in allusion to the badge -which distinguished their various articles of dress -when exposed for sale. And, in writing these, -the leaning of the Gents towards distinguished -associations is very evident. A great coat -must be a “Chesterfield,” a “Taglioni,” or a -“Codrington;” a little rag of coloured silk for -the neck is called a “Byron Tie;” and so on. -If the things are not dignified by these terms, -the Gent does not think much of them.</p> - -<p class='c015'>To his taste does the ready-made Shoemaker -appeal in the short fancy <i>Alberts</i>, -ticketed “The Fashion.” If you are accustomed -to derive a little gratuitous amusement -from shop windows, as you go along the streets, -you will see in them the funniest things, meant -for the Gents, that it is possible to conceive. -The most favourite style of <i>chaussure</i> is a species -of cloth-boot, with a shiny-leather toe, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_18'>18</span>a close row of little mother-of-pearl shirt-buttons -down the front; not for any purpose, -for they are simply sewn on, the real method -of fastening on the brodequin being by the -humble lace and tag of domestic life, at the -side.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id005'> -<img src='images/i018.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>But it is with the Haberdashers that the -toilet of the Gents comes out strongest.</p> - -<p class='c015'>You will see “Gents’ Dress Kid” ticketed in -the window. Be ye sure that they are large -sized, awkwardly cut, yellow kid gloves, at -<span class='pageno' id='Page_19'>19</span>one-and-sixpence. The tint is evidently a -weakness with the Gents, who think them -dashing, and say they come from <i>Hoobegongs</i>. -But the merchants, lacking discrimination, believe -that the predisposition is general. We -will wager a dozen pairs of them that you -never went into one of these establishments, -and simply and decidedly demanded a pair -of white kid gloves, but you were immediately -asked “if you would not prefer straw-coloured?”</p> - -<p class='c015'>And then the stocks—what marvellous -cravats they form! Blue always the favourite -colour—blue, with gold sprigs! blue, with a -crimson floss-silk flower! blue Joinvilles, with -rainbow ends! And, if they are black and -long, they are fashioned into quaint conceits: -Frills of black satin down the front, or bands -of the same fabric looking like an imitation of -crimped skate; or studs of jet made like -buttons, as if the Gent wore a cheap, black -<span class='pageno' id='Page_20'>20</span>satin shirt, and that was where it fastened. -And the white stocks are more fanciful still. -They are not very popular in their simple -form; for the Gents feel that they cannot help -looking like waiters in them; and so a little -illegitimate finery is necessary. Hence they -have lace ends, like the stamped papers from -the top of <i>bon-bon</i> and French plum boxes. -And the effect in society is very fine.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id007'> -<img src='images/i021.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>The Jewellers consult the Gents, and for -them manufacture various dashing articles in -electro-gold. Some of the ornaments for the -cravat are like large white currants, with gilt -eels twisting round them; and others like -blanket-pins with water on the brain. We -have also seen some sporting Gents—of whom -we shall hereafter speak—with mosaic gold -heads of horses and foxes stuck in their stocks. -And they love rings in profusion, which we -have seen them at times wear outside their -gloves. But this, perhaps, was an advantage, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_21'>21</span>as Gents are accustomed, in general, to wear -their hands large and red, with flattened ends -to the fingers.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id007'> -<img src='images/i022.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>It is for the Gents to buy, that the print-sellers -put forward those dreary pictures of the -<i>Pets of the Ballet</i>; consisting chiefly of chubby -young persons, in short petticoats and ungraceful -attitudes, like nothing ever seen on the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_22'>22</span>stage anywhere; and coloured lithographs of -housemaids cleaning steps; and chambermaids -with flat candlesticks in their hands; and -women with large black dots of eyes and heavy -ringlets, trying on shoes. One was very popular -a little time ago. It represented a young -lady something between a hairdresser’s dummy -and a barmaid, with a man’s coat and hat on -over her own dress. She was looking through -<span class='pageno' id='Page_23'>23</span>an eye-glass at the top of a whip, and underneath -was written “<i>damme!</i>”—why, or wherefore, -or in what relation to the singular mode -of toilet she has adopted, or what the word -itself meant in the abstract, we never could -make out. But the Gents seemed to know -all about it, and bought the picture furiously.</p> - -<p class='c015'>By the tokens above mentioned—including -always the staring shawl and the <i>al fresco</i> -cigar—you may know the Gent when you see -him, even if you met him on the top of Mont -Blanc—a place, however, where you are not -very likely to encounter him. He prefers -Windmill Hill.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id008'> -<img src='images/i023.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_24'>24</span> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER IV.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE GENT AT THE THEATRE.</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i024.jpg' width='250' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'> -<span class='sc'>When</span> the Promenade Concerts -usurped the place of the -regular Drama at our -theatres, and Kœnig and -Musard occupied the places -of Kean and Macready—when -Juliet was neglected -for Jullien, Prospero for Prospère, and -Viola for the violins, the Gent was exceedingly -<span class='pageno' id='Page_25'>25</span>gratified thereby. The Promenade became his -Paradise; and he used to walk round and -round, keeping his face towards the audience -(admiring the young ladies in the dress tier), -<span class='pageno' id='Page_26'>26</span>with the pertinacity of the grand banners in -stage processions; which, painted only on one -side, appear to be endowed with some heliotropic -principle, that causes their emblazoned -surfaces to revolve always on the same plane -with the footlights. But, whilst the Gent -conceived that he was here “doing it—rather,” -in the railway trowsers and dazzling stock, he -totally forgot that the true <i>flaneur</i> would appear -in something like evening costume, although he -might not altogether adopt the extreme <i>rigueur</i>.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<img src='images/i025.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>We were rather inquieted as to what the -Gents would do when these concerts closed. -We made great search, and found at length -that the majority emigrated to the musical -taverns, where they contrived to get through -the evening under the combined influence of -Bellini, bottled beer, and brandy-and-water; -deriving additional excitement from the novelty -of seeing Somnambula performed through a -haze of tobacco-smoke.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<span class='pageno' id='Page_27'>27</span> -<img src='images/i028.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>But the theatre proper, is a favourite resort -of the Gent, and half-price to the boxes his -usual plan of patronising it; more especially -when there is a ballet. Of the different parts -of the house he prefers the slips. If you are -seated opposite, you will see him come in about -nine o’clock, and, leaving the panel door open, -he stands on the seat, with his hands in his -pockets, his stick under his arm, and thus -makes his observations. Presently getting disgusted -at the want of respect shown to him by -an old gentleman in front, who is watching the -performance most intently, with his head reclining -on his arms, which are again supported -by the rail, and who requests that he will have -the goodness to shut the door, the Gent walks -grandly away, and goes round to the other side, -evidently conceiving that his dignity has been -hurt. Here the same process of observation is -repeated; and, if the Gent sees a pretty girl in -a private box, he stares unflinchingly at her, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_28'>28</span>until he thinks he has made an impression. -And this is a strange lunatic notion with Gents -of every degree: they believe they have powers -to fascinate every female upon whom they cast -their eyes, never thinking of the utter contempt -always excited by such obtrusiveness on -the part of an entire stranger.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_29'>29</span> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER V.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE GENT, AFTER THE PLAY, AT A TAVERN.</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i029.jpg' width='300' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'> -<span class='sc'>By</span> the following -signs may the -Gent at this period -be known: -He walketh six -abreast under the -Piazza, singing a -negro air in chorus; -and, perchance, danceth a lively measure -to the <i>refrain</i>, until he arriveth at the entrance -<span class='pageno' id='Page_30'>30</span>of Evans’s Grand Hotel. He descendeth the -stairs, and, on entering the room, he goeth to the -upper end thereof; and, having greeted the singers -with a wink, calleth out “Charles!” No response -being made by the waiter, he rappeth with -his stick upon the table, until the peppercastor -falleth on the floor; for which unseemly conduct -Evans mildly reproveth him. He taketh -a sight at Evans in return, when he can do so -unobserved, and saith that he liketh him not so -well as Rhodes: and then he calleth “Henry!” -Being served with the rabbit of Wales, he -saith to the funny singer,—“How are you, old -feller!” and presseth him to partake of his -grog. He proffereth a prayer that the funny -singer will oblige him with a particular song. -The funny singer complieth; and the Gent -singeth the chorus, prolonging it far beyond -the proper length, to the indignation of Evans. -At its conclusion, his animal spirits and enthusiastic -approbation impel him to call out—“Bravo, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_31'>31</span>Rouse!” which promoteth political -dissension amongst the guests. Evans telleth -him “that he cannot have the harmony of the -room disturbed by one individual”—a sentiment -which the Gent applaudeth lustily, and -ordereth some champagne, which he drinketh, -with the singers, from a tankard. The anger -of Evans is in a measure appeased. The Gent -joineth in a glee at the wrong time; but turneth -away wrath by buying a copy of it when -finished. He ordereth more champagne, and -believeth that he is taken by the room for a -“Lord about town.” He saith he hath a pony -that he will back against every other to do -every thing. He talketh of actresses, and -winketh mysteriously. He telleth the funny -singer that if he will come and see him at his -little place in the city, he will put him up to a -thing or two. At last he getteth troublesome, -and is coaxed away by his companions. The -next morning he saith what a spree he had, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_32'>32</span>that he sat opposite to an officer who knew one -of the ballet, and had spoken to her once behind -the scenes; and so he thinketh that he -hath a link with the great world. But yet, -upon reflection, he hath not.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id006'> -<img src='images/i032.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_33'>33</span> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER VI.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE GENT IN THE OPEN AIR.</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i033.jpg' width='300' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'> -<span class='sc'>The</span> most popular lounging -thoroughfares of the west-end, -such as Regent Street, -the Burlington Arcade, -Bond Street, or Piccadilly, -are not those in -which the Gents are to -be often encountered in the day-time. The majority -<span class='pageno' id='Page_34'>34</span>of them have evidently occupations, which -keep them somewhere until four or five o’clock, -so that they never come out in their full force -until dusk, except on holidays; and then -the short steamboats are the best places -to find them. In fine weather, they discard -the staring shawl for a blue handkerchief, -with white spots; and then they provide -themselves with a cigar (the cigar again!), a -bottle of stout, and a Sunday paper, and, from -the edge of the paddle-box, or from the top of -the cabin, defy the world. You can find out -their locality by the vapour of the cigar, as the -“smoke which so gracefully curled” showed -the author of “The Woodpecker” that he was -in the vicinity of a cottage. If you cannot -discover them by this sign, you must look -out for their studs—they have a great idea -of studs—usually like blue raspberries, which -you will find glittering in the sun. If, by -chance, they wear a long stock, then they have -<span class='pageno' id='Page_35'>35</span>two pins and a chain; but such pins! and such -a chain! You can never see any thing like -them, unless you go to the Lowther Arcade; -and there, amongst those wondrous collections -of ornamental and useful articles which strew -that thoroughfare—for all the houses appear to -have turned themselves and their contents out -of the window—you will find similar ones; -meant, however, if we mistake not, for the -back plaits of ladies’ hair. And this reminds -us that the Lowther Arcade is a favourite -<span class='pageno' id='Page_36'>36</span>lounge with the Gents: it is possible that, from -the glittering stores here displayed, they acquire -their taste for jewellery. The Lowther -Arcade is to the men in the city chambers -what the Burlington is to the denizens of the -Albany. It is, as it were, the frontier between -the two hemispheres of London life, to which -position it lays some claim, inasmuch as when -very crowded, a personal examination of effects -sometimes takes place on passing it. And -great is the throng here of an afternoon, principally -composed of Gents and seedy foreigners, -walking up an appetite for the incomprehensible -carte of Berthollini; or a doubtful cross between -these two varieties of the human species, -found, upon investigation, to be attached to -billiard-tables. And, by the way, remember, -that of all the scamps upon town, your billiard-table -<i>habitués</i> are the darkest. Here they walk -up and down for hours, loading the air with the -products of combustion from their cheap cigars, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_37'>37</span>(cigars again!) puffing the smoke into every -bonnet they meet, or standing at the entrance -with a whip in their hands, as though they had -just got off their horse, and were keeping an -<span class='pageno' id='Page_38'>38</span>appointment. But in reality they have no -horse, nor do they expect any body.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id005'> -<img src='images/i035.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id005'> -<img src='images/i037.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>There are several loungers at this part of -the town, who belong neither to the race of -Gents nor Foreigners, and certainly are not -military, although they evidently wish to be -considered so; to whom we may briefly allude; -for they partake, in a slight degree, of the -characteristics of the former. They wear -mustaches and curious frock-coats, sometimes -with dabs of braid about them. Their hair is -wiry and dark, and they are constantly arranging -it with their hands. Sometimes they -are seen with spurs; occasionally they carry -a black cane, shouldered like a gun, twisted -round their arm, with its head in their pocket, -held upside down, in any way but the normal -one. Day after day, when it is fine; nay, -year after year; there they are, true <i>batteurs -de pavé</i>. You may follow them for hours, and -you will never see them speak to, or recognised -<span class='pageno' id='Page_39'>39</span>by, any body. They do not even commune -with each other. Nobody knows them; -they belong to no club, and are never seen -anywhere else. And it is remarkable that, -like butterflies, you only come across them in -bright weather. Where they go to at other -times we cannot tell; we shall never be able -to do so, until we have solved two other similar -enigmas with respect to pins and bluebottles; -and their ultimate destination is, to our thinking, -the greatest marvel of the present day. -For the corpses of the latter, found in grocers’ -windows and saucers of unacknowledged poisons, -and the rusty remains of the former discovered -between boards, bear no comparison to the -numbers that have existed. This disappearance -is as remarkable as the generation of the fine -woolly substance you find in the corner of your -waistcoat pocket, where you have only kept a -pencil-case and latch-key. But this by the way.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<img src='images/i040.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>We have said the Gent likes to be outside -<span class='pageno' id='Page_40'>40</span>an omnibus. But he also loves the roof—literally, -the roof; and he almost rejoices when -he finds that the box is full, and he is obliged -to perch there; for his mind appears to be -brightened by his position, and many eccentricities -are induced. He nods to other passengers -as they pass, in a familiar manner, -causing them to puzzle themselves almost into -insanity during the remainder of the day, in -endeavours to recollect who he could have -been. He winks at the elder pupils of the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_41'>41</span>promenading Hammersmith academies, if on -their road; and tells old ladies, when they get -out to go away, to give his love at home, and -that he will be sure to write to them. He -also has a cigar here, and he offers one to the -coachman and other passengers. Before stages -were exterminated the Gent preferred the -box just the same; indeed, he felt in a measure -degraded if he could not get it; and -when the coachman got down he liked to hold -the reins and whip in the proper manner, and -show people that he was perfectly used to such -a thing, and, for aught they could tell, might -have a four-in-hand of his own.</p> - -<p class='c015'>A variety of this last style of Gent, whom -we may call the Driving Gent, has lately come -up about town. We were in the Strand the -other afternoon, and suddenly heard some notes -from a post-horn, very badly blown; upon -which we looked round, and saw a dog-cart approaching, -with two horses to it, driven tandem -<span class='pageno' id='Page_42'>42</span>fashion, with ferret-bells on their bearing reins. -On this dog-cart were four Gents—not two -gentlemen and two servants, as might have -been expected. They were all dressed nearly -alike; hats with narrow brims, coats with -large buttons, staring shawls, and trowsers -of the most prominent style—very <i>loud</i> patterns, -as a friend appropriately called them. -Three had cigars, and the other had the horn; -and it was evident that they thought they were -“doing the fast thing, and no mistake.” We -saw them afterwards in the Park, and chanced -to follow them for some distance. The whole -time they were there they never exchanged a -salute with a soul—evidently they were out of -their sphere; but went round and round, -looked at by every body with something between -a stare and a sneer, until they drove off -again. The last time we saw them, they were -shaking hands with a fighting man at the door -of a gin-shop.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_43'>43</span> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER VII.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE GENT WHO GOES TO THE RACES.</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i043.jpg' width='300' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'> -<span class='sc'>The</span> Gent who goes -to the races must -not be confounded -with the Sporting -Gent, of whom we -may speak by-and-by. -He knows nothing in the world about the -running, nor indeed does he care much about -<span class='pageno' id='Page_44'>44</span>it, beyond the manner in which it may affect -a chance he has in a “Derby Sweep.” But he -thinks the fact of being seen there gives him -a position in society, and he would not miss -the races for any thing.</p> - -<p class='c015'>As the Gent who goes to the races is closely -allied to the Gent we saw at the night taverns, -we will describe him in the same fashion.</p> - -<p class='c015'>He buyeth a “D’Orsay blouse,” which he -believeth to have been made under the Count’s -own eye; a blue cravat, spotted with white -wafers; a whip, and a pair of short patent -boots, to produce an effect; in which he -mounteth a “fast four-horse coach” from the -“Garrick’s Head.” At the “Elephant and -Castle,” being called “my noble sportsman” -by the vender of the cards, he buyeth one, and -conceiveth that he is taken for Lord Chesterfield. -He asketh the vender, with a severe -look, “if it is Dorling’s?” to show that he is -“a downy cove,” and not to be done. He -<span class='pageno' id='Page_45'>45</span>also hath a glass of pale ale. On Clapham -Common he seeth a ladies’ school, and boweth -to the tall pupil; whereupon the tall pupil -receiveth a chiding from the English teacher -for unseemly levity, and the tall pupil accuseth -the half-boarder of being the true culprit. At -Mitcham he hath another pale ale, and delighteth -in being recognised by a man on a -pony, whom he sayeth is “Bob Croft;” after -which, he winketh or kisseth his hand to all -the housemaids, who, on the Derby Day, invariably -take two hours and a half to make the -front-room bed; swinging his legs over the -side seat of the roof, that his boots may dazzle -the rustics. At Sutton he hath another pale -ale. This fully openeth his heart, and he -carolleth lustily until he reacheth the Downs, -when he hopeth to be taken for one of the -Guards. A gipsy woman telleth him that he -hath a wicked eye, and that his company is -agreeable to various female Christian names; -<span class='pageno' id='Page_46'>46</span>whereon he giveth her a shilling and the tail of -a lobster, the large claw of which he putteth -to his nose, and in his imagination doeth the -“fast thing.”</p> - -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<img src='images/i047.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>After the race (than which he sayeth he -never saw a better, albeit he hath seen but -few) he thinketh it “nobby” to throw at the -sticks, and insisteth that the merchant do set -up a bell, a feathered cock, and a pear that -discourseth music most unhappily, by pulling -out the stalk, and blowing through it. He -seeth Lord ——, whom he knoweth by sight, -next to him, laden with crockery, dogs, and -Napoleons, pincushions, money-boxes, and -soldiers in remarkable uniforms, partaking of -the Grenadier’s, Highlander’s, and Turk’s; -and he striveth to knock down more things -than the patrician. But in this he faileth, and -intruding on the other’s aim, is called a -“snob,” which, in the kindness of his heart, -he resenteth not, but carrieth his winnings in -<span class='pageno' id='Page_47'>47</span>his hat back to the coach, after which he -walketh about “to see the fine women.” -Next he hath more lunch, until his heart -openeth wider than ever, and he thinketh, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_48'>48</span>“This is life rather; what a fast one I am, -and can’t I do it when I choose! Hurrah!” -He then challengeth strange men on the roofs -of distant vehicles to take wine, because he -knoweth “they are the right sort,” and -finisheth by trying a hornpipe on the roof of -his own, in all the enthusiasm of ale, sun, lobster -salad, dust, champagne, and a post-horn.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Going home, his humour knoweth no -bounds. He tieth his handkerchief to his -stick for a flag, until he loseth his hat, when -he tieth his handkerchief round his head. -He sitteth on the post-horn, and causeth it to -resemble a ram’s. He pelteth old gentlemen -driving four-wheeled chaises with snuff-boxes, -and distributeth pincushions to the domestics, -breaking windows withal. He liketh to know -who any one is who upsetteth him by offensive -speech; and tumbleth to the ground at Sutton, -where he wisheth for several pale ales -while the coach stoppeth to cool the wheels, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_49'>49</span>which follow the example of the passengers, -and begin to smoke. Here he danceth a lively -measure in the road before a landau, and -smileth wickedly at the occupants. Getting -troublesome, he is put in the inside, with the -helper, the hamper, and the dirty plates, where -he remaineth until he reacheth London, when -he sayeth, “Let’s make a night of it.” But -the manufacturing process is scarcely worthy -the reader’s attention. The next day he sayeth, -“I must dine at Berthollini’s for two months -to come, and give up suppers.”</p> - -<div class='figcenter id006'> -<img src='images/i049.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_50'>50</span> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER VIII.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF CERTAIN GENTS IN SOCIETY.</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i050.jpg' width='300' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'> -<span class='sc'>Once</span>, when like Mr. -Tennyson we were -“waiting for the train -at Coventry,” and -thinking of Lady Godiva—the -Gents would -like to have peeped at -Godiva—we saw a -penny show on the -ground floor of an empty house in a principal -street of that good city. It consisted -<span class='pageno' id='Page_51'>51</span>of “A Happy Family”—a collection of various -animals, of different natures, in one cage—like -the travelling menagerie opposite the National -Gallery, but on a much larger scale. The -members of the “family” were quietly enjoying -the pleasure of each other’s society, with the -exception of two monkeys, one of whom sat -sullenly scowling at some mice, as he hugged -himself up into a ball in every body’s way; and -the other created much discomfort, from time -to time, by rushing about in a frantic manner, -running over his neighbours, performing totally -useless feats of agility, and deporting himself -generally in an absurd and unseemly fashion.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Now, taking monkeys to be the Gents of the -animal kingdom, we were pleased to see how -closely they resemble their human brethren:—for -the Gents you encounter in society are of -two kinds. Taking an assembly as the place -where you would be most likely to come upon -them, you will find them either endeavouring -<span class='pageno' id='Page_52'>52</span>to “do the grand,” by not joining in the current -amusements of the evening; or overstepping -all bounds of ordinary behaviour—“going it,” -to use their own words—and committing every -kind of preposterous and silly offence against -the received rules of society.</p> - -<p class='c015'>If you talk to the first of these, whom we -may call the dreary Gent, you will always find -that he has been “dining with some fellows he -knows;” or “having a weed with a man;” and -you will be reminded of cigars. He affects a -drawling indifferent tone of voice, which he -considers cool and fashionable; and he prefers -keeping outside the drawing-room door, upon -the landing, because “he don’t want to be bored -to dance.” He wears broad tails to his coat, -and most probably the buttonholes are brought -together over his chest by a small snaffle; whilst, -hanging by a bit of chain from his waistcoat -pocket, is a little broquet key, made like a dog’s -head, the nose of which winds up his watch. -<span class='pageno' id='Page_53'>53</span>His stock is of figured satin, very gay, and very -narrow, and with long twisted ends, in which -is stuck a large pin—usually a claw holding a -stone, as big and as white as a pea of Wenham -ice from a sherry cobbler. He will ask you, “if -you were up at Putney on Tuesday;” and if -you were not, and do not even know what great -event took place on that day, be sure that he -regards you with great contempt. Like all -Gents, he has a great notion of champagne, -which at supper he drinks by himself from a -tumbler as he would drink it at a night tavern, -as aforesaid, from a tankard.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Very opposite to him is the joyous Gent, -whom we may term the Perrot of private life. -He always gives us the notion of a ballet-dancer -spoiled, especially in Pastorale or the Polka; -in which latter dance, if he does not happen to -have for his partner a young lady of determined -spirit, and a keen discrimination of right and -wrong, he will launch off into all sorts of toe-and-heel -<span class='pageno' id='Page_54'>54</span>tomfooleries, such as simple people -used to perpetrate when the Polka first broke -out—such as you may still see, after supper, at -Jullien’s and Vauxhall, or at the “Gothics,” -and other ten-and-sixpenny demi-public hops, -of the same genus, even at the Hanover Square -Rooms. The joyous Gent is very great indeed -in cheap dancing-academy figures. He knows -the “Caledonians” and the “Lancers;” he loves -the “Spanish dance,” and patronises the gloomy, -and almost extinct “Cellarius.” And we will -make any reasonable wager, that before the -quadrille begins, he will bow to his partner, -and then to the corner lady, or the one on his -left.</p> - -<p class='c015'>The social acquirements of the joyous Gent -are many, and he delights in every opportunity -of exhibiting them. His strongest points are -his imitations of popular performers, especially -Buckstone, in whose manner he says, “well I -never!—did you ever!—oh never!—oh wlaw!” -<span class='pageno' id='Page_55'>55</span>in a manner that elicits the loudest applause. -Next he attempts Macready, as follows:—</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c018'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>“Nay—dearest—nay—if thou—wouldst have—me paint</div> - <div class='line in1'>The home—to which—could love—fulfil—its prayers,—</div> - <div class='line in1'>This hand—would lead—thee—listen.”</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c019'>Then Mr. T. P. Cooke, when he pitches his -voice in a low falsetto, hitches his trowsers, says, -“My dear eyes! what! Sewsan!” and affirms -that “no true heart is altered by the gilt swabs -on the shoulders, but is ever open to the cry of -a female in distress.”</p> - -<p class='c015'>Possibly the next will be Mr. Paul Bedford, -when he rolls his <i>r</i> and says, “Come along, my -r-r-r-r-rummy cove; come along comealong-comealong! -how are you? how d’ye do? here -we are! I’m a looking at you like bricksywicksywicksies—I -believe you my boy-y-y-y-y!”</p> - -<p class='c015'>And directly afterwards he turns up his nose -with his forefinger, and looks like Mr. Wright, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_56'>56</span>as he exclaims, “Come, I say you know, guv’nor, -none o’ them larks eh! you didn’t ought to -was.”</p> - -<p class='c015'>All these are sure to be received with the -greatest enthusiasm: and as he usually gives -the name of the actor he is about to imitate, -before he commences, he is spared the unpleasantry -attendant upon the remark of some -guest, who says “Capital! famous! it’s Keeley -himself,” when the ingenious Gent is attempting -an impersonation of Farren.</p> - -<p class='c015'>But after all his surest card is Buckstone.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id005'> -<img src='images/i056.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_57'>57</span> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER IX.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF GENTS ON THE RIVER</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i057.jpg' width='200' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'> -<span class='sc'>The</span> grand gathering of Gents is -only to be met with as one universal -réunion of all their varieties, -on board the Sunday -steamboats. No city in the -world produces so many holiday -specimens of tawdry vulgarity -as London: and the -river appears to be the point -towards which all the countless -myriads converge. Their -<span class='pageno' id='Page_58'>58</span>strenuous attempts to ape gentility—a bad style -of word, we admit, but one peculiarly adapted -to our purpose—are to us more painful than -ludicrous: and the labouring man, dressed in -<span class='pageno' id='Page_59'>59</span>the usual costume of his class is, in our eyes, -far more respectable than the Gent, in his -dreary efforts to assume a style and tournure -which he is so utterly incapable of carrying out.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id007'> -<img src='images/i058.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>When joining a steamboat excursion the -Gent never sits on the regular benches placed -for that purpose. He prefers the top of the -cabin-door—the steps of the paddle-boxes—the -platform on which the steersman is elevated, -and the like situations. Here you may always -see him with a newspaper and a bottle of stout, -a light blue stock, and, being Sunday, a very -new hat, and a pair of white trowsers: with -Berlin gloves, which he carries in his hand. -For, indeed, not being used to them, nothing -presents so perfect an idea of tolerated discomfort -as a Sunday Gent in a pair of gloves. -We can only compare the appearance of his -hands, when suffering under the infliction, to -those of a Guy Fawkes, or the tailors’ dressed-up -dummies before alluded to.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<span class='pageno' id='Page_60'>60</span> -<img src='images/i060.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>But there are also aquatic Gents, who row -in boats on regatta afternoons, and hope to be -mistaken for “Leanders.” Their principal -characteristics when on the river, in this phase, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_61'>61</span>are propensities to wear pink silk jerseys, and -silk caps. Now and then they have been -known to row in white kid gloves. But they -may soon be detected; and are especially -found out by a race of amphibious aborigines -who affect the river and its banks, known to the -natives as “Coalies” and “Bargees;” and who -call them <i>tailors</i>, and make unpleasant allusion -to goose and board, whereupon the anger -of the Gents being called forth, they retort, -asking of the latter <i>amphibia</i> above alluded to, -“who eat the puppy pie under Marlow bridge?” -In which query, it is presumed, lies a hidden -taunt of rankling venom; for the “Bargees” -immediately indulge in language which would -shock any one of a properly constituted mind, -very dreadfully—and call the Gents <i>sweeps</i>, -not always without some adjective prefixed, -more powerful than polite.</p> - -<p class='c015'>River Gents are very fond of talking of -their “rooms;” which means the rooms rented -<span class='pageno' id='Page_62'>62</span>by Oxford and Cambridge rowing men, for -their meetings previous to matches, starting, -&c. With these, and the members of them, -the Gent professes to have an intimate acquaintance, -albeit most likely he never entered -them, and would in all probability be snubbed -out, or possibly kicked, if he made the attempt.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Another great feature in the natures of the -river Gents, is that of belonging to four-oared -cutter-clubs, with startling names; such as, -the Argonauts, the Corsairs, &c. They have -their boats very elaborately adorned—red and -blue; and lots of gilding being considered the -thing; with the arms of the club—the only -ones with which they have, in any way, any -thing to do—being emblazoned everywhere. -In such clubs the members row up to Putney, -dine, get drunk, sing out of window, and come -back in an omnibus, leaving their waterman to -bring the boat home the next day.</p> - -<p class='c015'>The river Gent always knows a man with -<span class='pageno' id='Page_63'>63</span>a yacht, with whom he has once been as far -as Gravesend. This enables him to talk about -the “Bargee;” and even when he thinks he -is entirely amongst the unsophisticated, to -launch into hazardous remarks about a “flying-jib,” -and the build of the <i>Prima Donna</i>. And -if he in any way intends to make a great effect, -he has been frequently known to take the name -of Lord Alfred Paget in vain; which is a great -thing, not only with river Gents, but all sorts -of city yacht men generally.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id005'> -<img src='images/i063.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_64'>64</span> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER X.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE GENT AT THE CASINOS.</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i064.jpg' width='350' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'> -<span class='sc'>It</span> is probable -that, at some -time or the -other, you -have been at -a fête in -Paris.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Because if -you have, -you will recollect -the gay “Bal de -Paris” that was lighted -up so tastefully when it -became dark. You will recall -the order that reigned -<span class='pageno' id='Page_65'>65</span>there, so different to the vulgar jostling -and dreary riot of the “Crown and Anchor” -at Greenwich Fair. If you have not -been there, figure to yourself an enormous -tent, say one hundred feet long, supported by -gilt pillars, with pretty festoons, and surrounded -by trophies and tricoloured flags, of red, blue, -and white calico all round. The floor is neatly -boarded; and in the centre, an excellent orchestra, -of a dozen musicians, performing all -the most popular quadrilles, waltzes, and polkas -of Paris. Five sous is charged for entrance, -and an extra demand of five sous is made each -time you dance; when you are not considered -as transgressing etiquette in asking any fair -one that your choice may fall upon. The -utmost order prevails. Indeed, the municipal -guards in attendance with their fierce mustaches -and tiger-skin helmets, will soon march -you off between them if you overstep decorum.</p> - -<p class='c015'>With respect to the refreshments, there is -<span class='pageno' id='Page_66'>66</span>not the immense bar which we see at the -Greenwich Fair and Moulsey Race-course -dancing assemblies, covered with cold boiled-beef, -ham, fowls, bottled-porter, pipes, and -crockery; but then there is a small tent aside -from the grand one, for lemonade, <i>sirop de -groseilles</i>, wine, coffee, and Rheims biscuits, -which has an air of refinement never met with -in England at meetings of this kind. Dancing -is the sole object of the company; and dance -they do; and so did we, too, once upon a time -(as soon as we got over our thorough English -idea that every body was looking at us), and we -can safely say we enjoyed ourselves much more -there than we had done at any dashing evening -parties in London. And then the practice in -French conversation which it affords! You -can speak so easily, so fluently, to a pretty -grisette in the middle of a dance, and under -the influence of a bottle of <i>vin ordinaire</i>, at -twelve sous; it beats all the masters, believe -<span class='pageno' id='Page_67'>67</span>us; and we speak from experience. But all -this by the way. All have their hobbies, and -pretty grisettes are ours.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Few have watched these agreeable dances -without lamenting the absence of such things -from our English festivals: we believe it is -the Gents alone who have proved the obstacles -to their proper introduction. For they would -never keep quiet, and simply enjoy themselves. -They would think it necessary to “have a -spree;” and could not exist ten minutes without -surreptitiously lighting a cigar, for any -consideration. He would think that he was -not “nobby” if he did not have some wretched -champagne: and this miserable mess, getting -into his head, would lead him into all manner -of offensive behaviour. For no Gent can stand -much wine, at any time; and Gent’s wine in -particular, such as Casino champagne, fearfully -upsets them.</p> - -<p class='c015'>When we first heard that M. Laurent was -<span class='pageno' id='Page_68'>68</span>going to start a shilling concert and dance we -were much disquieted; for we knew at what a -rampant pitch Gentism would arrive there. -But it was somewhat gratifying to see that the -sensible behaviour of a few strong-minded -visitors somewhat awed them into propriety. -Still there are many who still assemble; and -the use of this chapter is, that you may be -shown how to know and avoid them.</p> - -<p class='c015'>The Casino Gent especially likes a white -over-coat, short, with large buttons; and -under this he disposes a gay shawl, so as to -look like the collar of a waistcoat. He carries -a short stick, and this he never parts with -under any pretence; but in a polka you will -see it high in air above the whirling confusion -of dances, and by this signal may trace his -progress about the room.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<img src='images/i069.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>His polka is not of the first order; it -savours more of the dancing academy than -the drawing-room; and he has scarcely yet -<span class='pageno' id='Page_69'>69</span>given up the fandango atrocities before alluded -to, that disgraced the polka on its first introduction -into England. Hence you will at -times still see him “kicking up behind and -before” in an absurd manner, that “Old Joe,” -<span class='pageno' id='Page_70'>70</span>of Ethiopian celebrity, could scarcely have outdone.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<img src='images/i070.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>This Gent is not very clever at the <i>deux -temps</i>. Before he knew what it was, he used -to imagine that certain fools were dancing the -polka to a waltz time; but now he has found -out his error, albeit he still looks upon it with -a sort of contemptuous expression, such as -unpleasant people in general adopt when they -<span class='pageno' id='Page_71'>71</span>are called upon to admire something popular -that they cannot do themselves. In the -intervals of the dances he promenades the -room, laughing loudly about nothing particular, -and hitting his friends on the back with his -stick, to attract their attention. And no true -Gent, got up as we have described, ever entered -the Casino but he did not firmly believe that -he was <i>the</i> man of the assembly. Hence two -Gents will always look savage at one another -when they meet.</p> - -<p class='c015'><i>Au reste</i>, the Gent is soon subdued, when -too lively, by the proper authorities: and he -has great belief in the power of an acquaintance -with Mr. Henry Mott, who delights in -elegant white cravats, and is the head master -of the ceremonies, nearest the band and the -sherry-cobblers.</p> - -<p class='c015'>With respect to other public balls, you -will not meet many Gents at Weippert’s, or -the St. James’s. The men there are too strong -<span class='pageno' id='Page_72'>72</span>for them; not physically, but in social position; -and the <i>lorettes</i> of these assemblies have quick -eyes at detecting snobbishness of any kind. -We have seen one or two Gents at either -place; but they always looked especially -wretched—as much out of their place as a -toadstool in a conservatory. The gentlemen -did not insult them; they only tacitly objected -to be vis-à-vis to them, and quietly withdrew -their partners from the set, until the Gents -stood alone.</p> - -<p class='c015'>They are in greater force at <i>bals masqués</i>, -in and out of costume. Many Gents conceive -that going in a scarlet coat and top-boots, and -now and then shouting “Yoicks!” constitutes -the fast thing: hence there is always one of -this kind. Others adopt large noses, and false -mustaches, which they think is “doing it—rather!” -But you never see them in characteristic -or original costumes; nor, lacking them, -do they even adhere to a recognised evening -<span class='pageno' id='Page_73'>73</span>toilet. They prefer their beloved railway -trowsers, and flaring stocks and shawls, and -centre all their notions of full-dress in a paletot. -M. Jullien is gradually changing all this: -we trust he will not stop until he places the -masked ball—“bal marsk” the Gent calls it—on -a level with those of Paris. But then the -complimentary admissions must be weeded; -and the authorities must learn that it is not -at all necessary to engage a few wretched -supernumeraries from the theatres, in dingy -wardrobe costumes, to support the festivity of -the evening. All low people, including Gents, -get drunk; and all drunken people are miserable -nuisances.</p> - -<p class='c015'><i>Note.</i>—If ever you see two Gents dancing -together at a <i>bal masqué</i>, you are at liberty -to kick and insult them, with every opprobrious -epithet.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_74'>74</span> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER XI.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>OF THE GENT AT THE SEA-SIDE.</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i074.jpg' width='300' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'> -<span class='sc'>There</span> is a period in -the year of London -existence, when that -portion of it termed -the Season, <i>par excellence</i>, -comes to an end with every -body, whatever their station; for -very few there are who do not, -somehow or other, contrive to get -out of town, when the great rush -from home—that flight of the soul -of the departed Season—is at its height. Every -<span class='pageno' id='Page_75'>75</span>body who has not already gone, is going; nobody -will own to staying in town, even if compelled -to do so. Houses are shut up, blinds -newspapered, and furniture tied up in bags: -in fact, to make a wretched joke, whilst the -family is on the Rhine, its lamps and ottomans -are all in Holland. There are no more -carriages whirling about the west-end streets: -no more thundering knocks echoing all day, -and night, too, for the matter of that, in the -squares. You write letters, and get no answers: -you make calls, and find nobody at -home, but a servant on board wages, who runs -out into the area to look at you before she -answers the door, in great astonishment. You -think it almost disreputable to be seen about, -so you follow the rest, and go away.</p> - -<p class='c015'>This feeling extends throughout all classes -of society: and going down lower and lower, -at last reaches the Gent, who copies the gentleman, -but sees, as usual, every thing through a -<span class='pageno' id='Page_76'>76</span>wrong medium. In fact, his reflection is that -of a spoon, in more senses than one: making -the most outrageous images of the original, -distorting all the features, but still preserving -a strange sort of identity.</p> - -<p class='c015'>The Gent has two favourite places of sea-side -resort, according to his idiosyncrasies: if -joyous, he goes to Gravesend; if dreary, to -Ramsgate. Margate is neither one thing nor -the other, and Brighton is really too respectable. -He cannot there show off: and to show -off is the battle of the Gent’s life. But Gravesend -is delicious. The transit is cheap and -rapid; the lodgings are moderate; an effect -in dress can be made at an easy rate; and, -above all, there is that largest ornamental -chalk-pit in the world, Rosherville.</p> - -<p class='c015'>We are, perhaps, wrong in putting Gravesend -under the head of sea-side resorts: but -the Gent considers it to be so. And, indeed, -the baths there offer peculiar advantages, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_77'>77</span>combining the properties of both fresh and -salt water, with the impurities of both, and -the attributes of neither. Yellow slippers -may also be purchased in the town; and this -circumstance induces the belief, that the neighbouring -water is the sea; a delusion which -appears common not only amongst the Gents, -but most of the settlers. This, however, by -the way: we were speaking of Rosherville, -the paradise which mainly draws the Gents -from town.</p> - -<p class='c015'>The costume of the Gent at Rosherville -is analogous to the one he wears at the promenade -concerts, with the exception, that he -has a more airy cravat, of brighter hue, and -smokes perpetually, except in the ball-room; and -he would do that, thinking it was “the thing,” -if a board did not warn him: showing that -such warning was found absolutely necessary. -And here, whilst listening to the “military -band” of the first detachment of the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_78'>78</span>Light Coldstream Indefatigables, he puts his -hat on one side, sits on a table, and tapping -his short boot, which discovers its form through -his trowsers, with his equally curtailed cane, -believes, as usual, that he is <i>the</i> man of the -assembly.</p> - -<p class='c015'>The Gent has several fashions in the dancing -at Rosherville, different from those of the -Casino. In the first place, he takes off his -hat, and hangs it on a peg, if there is one -vacant; if not, he leaves it at the bar. Then -he bows to his partner, and, if he knows her -very well, courts at the same time: and, subsequently, -he salutes the corners with great -politeness, previous to commencing the first -set. But this particular set does not stand -very high in estimation. In common with -other balls for the <i>basse classe</i>, its component -Gents prefer dances of intricate and abnormal -fashion: and so it is here also considered <i>ton</i> -to perform the <i>Caledonians</i> (which nobody ever -<span class='pageno' id='Page_79'>79</span>knows all through, except the master of the -ceremonies), the <i>Lancers</i>, <i>Spanish Dances</i>, the -<i>Cellarius</i>, even the <i>Gavotte</i>, and other frantic -arrangements of gasping professors, including, -of course, “<i>La Polka</i>” as it is always termed, -in their parlance. And on “Gala Nights,” -still more wonderful evolutions are gone -through, all of which are due to the inventive -genius of the aforesaid inimitable M.C., -whose friendship the Gent especially prizes. -For at Rosherville that great man is to be seen—actually, -really to be seen—walking like an -ordinary person, amongst ordinary fellow -creatures. He is no longer a phantasy of -mental conception—not that zephyr in pumps -bounding amidst new-laid eggs and tea-things, -or matchlessly performing his Marine Hornpipe -in top-boots, or Chinese Fandango in -handcuffs, or Milanese Fling in the double -jack-chains; but a substantial reality,—the -glass of fashion, the mould of form, whom we -<span class='pageno' id='Page_80'>80</span>can never fancy putting off the pumps of -ceremony for the high-lows of necessity—in a -word, <span class='sc'>The Baron Nathan</span>.</p> - -<p class='c015'>The Gent at Ramsgate would be the last -to persuade that it is really a dull place. He -is one of the most strenuous upholders of that -greatest of all popular delusions suffered to go -unchallenged, that English sea-side watering-places -generally are pleasant spots to emigrate -to, and Ramsgate in particular. We know, as -far as we are concerned, that we once underwent -transportation for seven days to that penal -settlement; and that we never before suffered -(we expect in common with every body else) -from such a ghastly gasping after the belief -that we were “doing a holiday,” as the Gent -would say, as during that time.</p> - -<p class='c015'>How the Gent makes up his mind to go to -Ramsgate at all we cannot make out; but there -he always is: and he divides the measure of -his revelry thereat into four goes of excitement: -<span class='pageno' id='Page_81'>81</span>Going on the sands; Going out sailing; Going -on the pier; and Going to Sachett’s.</p> - -<p class='c015'><i>Going on the sands</i> is the weakest of the -Gent’s pastimes: but he says, with a loud -laugh, that it is to see the ladies bathe. Elsewhere -it would be confined to watching children -bury one another in the sand, with small wooden -spades—a performance which, like a pantomime, -however interesting on first representation, -somewhat flags in interest upon repetition. -The Gent usually takes two chairs to rest upon, -and stares hard at every body else, especially -the females, the while he sketches feeble designs -with his short stick, which he never by any -means parts with, on the sand.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id001'> -<img src='images/i082.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'><i>Going out sailing</i> is also a slow business—slower -than a few friends after a dinner-party -for a carpet polka; or a standard five-act-play; -or a wedding breakfast; or the outside half of -yesterday’s <i>Times</i>; or a book written with a -“high moral purpose;” or a Charing-Cross-to-the-Bank omnibus—and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_82'>82</span>that is saying a -good deal: the Gent, however, likes it: for -then he puts on a shirt ruled with blue ink, the -collar of which he turns down: and talks of -“jibs,” and “tacks,” and “sheets,” and also -alludes to the man he knows who keeps a yacht. -And he takes his cigar—his loved cigar—as -<span class='pageno' id='Page_83'>83</span>soon as he leaves the harbour. And as he -leaves the harbour he stands in an attitude, -and believes that the young ladies who show -their ankles on the pier imagine him to be a -Red Rover.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Perhaps <i>Going on the pier</i> is the Ramsgate -Gent’s greatest treat: because then he can put -on his gay clothes, and once more think that -he is rather the thing. But in this the Gent -makes a great mistake. He dresses but once -in the day, and then puts on a frock-coat, -which he wears to dinner, and all the evening; -not exactly understanding, we expect, what is -the real difference between morning and evening -toilets. For as Gentlemen usually dress after -a walk, so do Gents dress before one: and if -they do not appear in their “best” to walk up -and down the pier—which at Ramsgate is the -chief straw that the sinking <i>ennuyés</i> clutch at—and -stare superciliously at all whom they do -not know, they think they are snobs—the snob -<span class='pageno' id='Page_84'>84</span>being to the Gent what the Gent is to the -Gentleman.</p> - -<p class='c015'>The prevalence of Gents at Ramsgate, in -such numbers that the fine weather brings -them out like bluebottles, is easily accounted -for. There is a certain class of families who -go to Ramsgate every year, because they were -there the last. They come either from the -Pancras-cum-Bloomsbury district of London, -or having shops, or ware-rooms, or counting-houses -in the City, live in suburban villas -comfortably off, and believing greatly in all -conventional rules of society, getting perhaps -once a year to the Opera, thinking a great -deal of Mansion-house balls, and believing to a -great degree in fashion-books. Well, these -good folks affect Ramsgate greatly, and so take -their families with them. The girls of this -class pass muster pretty well; Clapham or -Chiswick academies teaching them certain -school accomplishments, which pass current for -<span class='pageno' id='Page_85'>85</span>a decent education amongst their equals—but -the boys are always Gents. The same feeling -which induces their parents to believe that the -more showily they can set out their dinner-table -the higher they rise in social life, makes -these sons imagine that two or three dear and -flashy articles of dress place them on a level -with the well-born and well-bred Gentleman. -Accustomed in their own spheres to take the -lead, they will not go where they meet men -who attain very good stations in society without -large studs or noisy-patterned cravats; and -constantly associating, one with the other, they -get lost beyond all redemption. And of these -is the migratory young-man society of Ramsgate -chiefly composed.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Of the same class is the Gent at Boulogne. -He is at first a long time being persuaded to -go there; because he knows that his ignorance -of the language will be an awful drop to his -consequence, and bring him down at once to -<span class='pageno' id='Page_86'>86</span>his elements in a very humiliating manner. -But after a while, finding that every body else -knows something about it but himself, he determines -to go. And in this wise doth he -deport himself.</p> - -<p class='c015'><i>Imprimis</i> he alloweth his mustaches to -grow, which giveth him the look of an officer-lover -in a farce at the Eagle, but assimilateth -to the foreigner in nothing. He delighteth -in brutal conduct to the native functionaries, -which he taketh to be a fine display of national -spirit, and thinketh that they are impressed -with respect for him thereby. He calleth the -<i>vin ordinaire</i> “rot,” but drinketh brandy to -intoxication. He shouteth with hoarse joyless -laughter at French peculiarities, and thinketh -that, by so doing, he displayeth a fine-natured -<i>naïveté</i>. He deemeth the greatest discovery -ever made to be that of a tavern whereat -British stout is retailed; and thinketh that he -maketh a joke of excellent pungency when he -<span class='pageno' id='Page_87'>87</span>saith “Waterloo,” to a French soldier. He -careth not for the indigenous hotels, but loveth -better the English boarding-house, where he -can have “a good John Bull joint, and no -French kickshaws:” John Bull being represented -generally as a vulgar top-booted man -verging on apoplexy, with, evidently, few ideas -of refinement, obstinate and hard-natured; but -the Gent conceiveth that upon occasions it is -ennobling to profess attachment to him.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id005'> -<img src='images/i087.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_88'>88</span> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER XII.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>NOTES OF CERTAIN OTHER GENTS.</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i088.jpg' width='300' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'> -<span class='sc'>There</span> is a species of -Gent who, moving only -in a third or fourth rate -sphere, goes to a party -in a white cravat and -turned up wristbands, -and carries his -hat into the room -because he had -heard that Gentlemen -do so. He -is generally an -immense card. -We chanced to -stand next to a specimen of this kind, one -<span class='pageno' id='Page_89'>89</span>evening, in a quadrille, and the only remark -we heard him make was inquiring of his partner, -after two or three false starts, whether she -preferred dancing on a carpet or the bare -<span class='pageno' id='Page_90'>90</span>boards: to which the young lady replied, -having looked down to see what the floor was -(that she might not “put her foot in it,” figuratively -speaking), that she preferred a carpet, she -thought: and this was the beginning and end -of the conversation.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id007'> -<img src='images/i089.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>A sample of this variety fixed himself upon us -once, as we were taking a stroll, merely upon -the intimacy of a casual party introduction two -or three weeks before, where we had procured -him some trifle at supper, solely because we -did not choose to run the chance of allowing -him to approach the table and stand near the -pretty girl over whose white shoulder we -stretched our arm to help him. We found out -that he was minutely particular about his deportment -in the street, and a pretty treat we -gave him. First of all we rattled our stick -against the area railings of the houses: then -we bought penny bunches of cherries at the -stalls, and munched them as we went along, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_91'>91</span>continually pressing him to take some, or propelling -the stones, six at a time, along the -pavement in front of us. We cut off the angles -of all the squares, and ran very fast across all -the crossings; and then took off a little boy’s -cap, and carried it a short way with us, to provoke -a few salutations in our wake, of that -pleasing and forcible kind which only little -boys in the streets can give with such piquancy -of expression. We finally got rid of him by -insisting upon stopping at the corner of Berners -Street to see <i>Punch</i>—an exhibition we never, -by any means, omit playing audience to: -although we know many Gents who think their -station in society would be lost for ever, were -they once observed taking an interest in any -thing half so common.</p> - -<p class='c015'>There is a peculiar race of Gents to be seen, -through the windows, lounging in tobacco-shops; -some leaning against the counter, -others seated on tubs, or occupying the like -<span class='pageno' id='Page_92'>92</span>positions. This employment is another variety -of what Gents think “fast.”</p> - -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<img src='images/i092.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<p class='c015'>The presiding goddess of this temple of -smoke is a scantily educated woman, who has -<span class='pageno' id='Page_93'>93</span>been more or less pretty at some time or -another; but still retains, it would seem, sufficient -attraction to draw the Gents about her. -Here they will pass hours, finding intense -pleasure in her commonplace uninteresting -conversation—retailing dull jokes, worn-out -anecdotes, or vapid inevitable puns to each -other; and staring at any casual purchaser who -may enter the shop, as if he were an intruder -on their domain.</p> - -<p class='c015'>There are the Gents, also, who are afterwards -seen in the theatres at half-price: in the slips -during the performances, and in the saloon -during the <i>entr’acte</i>—the class who, whilst they -carry on brisk conversation and smart repartees -(of a sort) with the least reputable in public life, -form the vapid nonentities of private society -when females are present. They are men, to -use a phrase more expressive than elegant, -strongly addicted to <i>bear parties</i>—who think “a -glass of grog and a weed” the acme of social -<span class='pageno' id='Page_94'>94</span>enjoyment, and who look upon all entertainments -that throw them into the society of ladies, -or, indeed, any one of intellect and refinement, -as bores. They are the great men at the night -taverns, before alluded to. All that is, however, -harmless in its way; for the majority of those -houses are exceedingly well conducted: and, -indeed, it is only the Gents of the lowest sphere -who deem it spirited to mix themselves up, in -other resorts, with the ruffians of the ring and the -most degraded of either sex, in an atmosphere of -oaths and odours, where indecency is mistaken -for broad humour and dull slang for first-rate -wit.</p> - -<p class='c015'>It is the cheap tailor who advertises, to whom -this style of Gent goes for his clothes. He is -caught by the poetry and the names of the -articles related; as well as of the establishment, -whether it be “Paletot Palace,” “the Kingdom -of Kerseymere,” or “the Walhalla of waistcoats,” -as it is termed in those small but lively works -<span class='pageno' id='Page_95'>95</span>of fiction thrown with such unsparing liberality -through the windows of railway omnibuses. -The following is an announcement peculiar to -the Frankensteins of these strange creations. -We have written it, and present the copy-right -to any of them that may choose to -adopt it.</p> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c001'> - <div>TRIUMPHS OF BRITISH VALOUR.</div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-b c018'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Fame’s trumpet says we’ve had victories enough,</div> - <div class='line'>And our great soldiers leave their arms to follow the plough:</div> - <div class='line'>But first to London they came with their retinues complete;</div> - <div class='line'>Everybody makes a holiday to join in the fête.</div> - <div class='line'>Gents’ clothes now are cheap; buy, if you have not,</div> - <div class='line'>And go to Sholomansh’s celebrated depot.</div> - <div class='line'>Mark their drab Chesterfield of the first water,</div> - <div class='line'>With the first rain ’twill shrink three inches shorter.</div> - <div class='line'>Twelve shillings new—it surely can’t be dear,</div> - <div class='line'>And warranted to wear for half the year.</div> - <div class='line'>The celebrated window-cleaning blouse,</div> - <div class='line'>To buy at six-and-six you can’t refuse.</div> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_96'>96</span>The pound dress-coat is worthy of all praise,</div> - <div class='line'>And fashionably made of fine black baize.</div> - <div class='line'>With contract suits they build for eager nobs,</div> - <div class='line'>In the most dashing style of Sunday snobs.</div> - <div class='line'>Coarse cloth, rude work, bad cutting, and quick wear,</div> - <div class='line'>With Sholomansh what other can compare?</div> - <div class='line'>And recollect—old suits to be return’d</div> - <div class='line'>If when worn out they’re not worth being burned.</div> - <div class='line'>To suit all climes, Iceland and Ararat,</div> - <div class='line'>For cash he’ll dress you out, and with eclat.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c001'> - <div>LIST OF PRICES.</div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='std-table'> - -<table class='table0' summary=''> -<colgroup> -<col width='76%' /> -<col width='7%' /> -<col width='7%' /> -<col width='7%' /> -</colgroup> - <tr> - <td class='c020'> </td> - <td class='c021'>£</td> - <td class='c021'><i>s.</i></td> - <td class='c022'><i>d.</i></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c020'>Dress coats, warranted to wear three weeks</td> - <td class='c021'>1</td> - <td class='c021'>10</td> - <td class='c022'>0</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c020'>Ditto trowsers, fashionable plaid or railroad</td> - <td class='c021'>0</td> - <td class='c021'>9</td> - <td class='c022'>6</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c020'>Splendid vests, of the revolving bottle-jack style</td> - <td class='c021'>0</td> - <td class='c021'>5</td> - <td class='c022'>6</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c020'>Pasha and Taglioni wrappers, of the last horse-cloth out-for-the-day half-price-to-the-play pattern</td> - <td class='c021'>0</td> - <td class='c021'>16</td> - <td class='c022'>0</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c020'>Young Gent’s Rob Roy, and Glenalvon dresses</td> - <td class='c021'>0</td> - <td class='c021'>15</td> - <td class='c022'>0</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c020'>Montemolin cloak, 9 yards round, warranted to hide the seediest clothes</td> - <td class='c021'>1</td> - <td class='c021'>10</td> - <td class='c022'>0</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c020'>Metropolitan shooting costume, for the fields in the vicinity of London (complete)</td> - <td class='c021'>2</td> - <td class='c021'>15</td> - <td class='c022'>0</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c020'><span class='pageno' id='Page_97'>97</span>Fashionable Epping hunting-coat</td> - <td class='c021'>1</td> - <td class='c021'>10</td> - <td class='c022'>0</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c020'>Racket blouses and morning tenderdens, adapted to Gents in the Queen’s Bench, from</td> - <td class='c021'>0</td> - <td class='c021'>3</td> - <td class='c022'>6</td> - </tr> -</table> - -</div> -<div class='lg-container-b c001'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>A large assortment. Terms cash.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><i>Vivat Regina.</i> No money returned.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line c001'>N.B.—Observe the Address: SHOLOMANSH,</div> - <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Cheap Tailor</span> and <span class='sc'>Gent-Fitter, City</span>.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id006'> -<img src='images/i097.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_98'>98</span> - <h2 class='c010'>CHAPTER XIII.<br /> <br /><span class='c017'>THE GENTS VIEWED WITH RESPECT TO THEIR EXTINCTION.</span></h2> -</div> -<div class='c014'> - <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i098.jpg' width='200' alt='' /> -</div><p class='drop-capi1_3'> -<span class='sc'>If any</span> influential member, bent -upon being of service -to his country, would -bring in a bill for the -“Total Repeal of the -Gents,” he would confer -the greatest benefit -on society; for -until they are entirely -knocked on the head, our public amusements -<span class='pageno' id='Page_99'>99</span>can never be conducted with the propriety -which distinguishes those of Paris.</p> - -<p class='c015'>We believe, with sorrow, that this offensive -race of individuals is peculiar to our own country: -we know of no foreign type answering to -them. If persons establishing resorts where -they mostly congregate, could take out an assurance -against Gents, as they do against fire, -what a blessing it would be!</p> - -<p class='c015'>We think it would be an excellent plan for -respectable electors to make members pledge -themselves to vote for the heavy taxation of -various articles in which Gents chiefly delight. -In this tariff we would have blue stocks; large -breast-pins; snaffle coat-studs; curled hair; -collar-galled hacks; Spanish dances; Cellarius -waltzes; Caledonian quadrilles; lithographed -beauties, plain and coloured; cheap cigars; -large pattern trowsers; gay under-waistcoats or -“vests;” thick sticks; short canes; walking-whips; -and boxes of omnibuses, as distinguished -<span class='pageno' id='Page_100'>100</span>from omnibus boxes. If the Gents could -not enjoy these things without paying heavy -prices for them they would go without; for a -great effect at a small outlay is the main intention -of all their follies.</p> - -<p class='c015'>And we also think it might be serviceable -towards the great end of putting Gents out -altogether, when any one chances to say, “I -know a Gent,” to exclaim immediately either -“You know a <i>what</i>?” in accents of horror, or -“You look as if you did!” in a tone of contempt, -to bring him to a sense of his miserable position—in -whichever way you think will best work -upon his feelings.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Doudney, Moses, Prew, and Hyams! patrons -as ye are of literature generally, and poets -especially! by whose influence the taste of the -Gents is in some measure guided, help us to -effect some little reform! Do not, we beseech -you, allow your emblazoned window-tickets to -lead this wretched race into such strange ideas -<span class='pageno' id='Page_101'>101</span>respecting the “fashions” as they are wont to -indulge in. Abolish all those little pasteboard -scutcheons which point out your gaudy fabrics -as “Novel,” “The Style,” “Splendid,” “The -Thing,” “Parisian,” and the like. Cut their -waistcoats, in charity, as if you intended them -for gentlemen instead of Gents. Reform your -own bills, and appeal not to the sympathies -with such wild innovations: and persuade the -literary Gent who writes those charming little -<i>brochures</i> about your establishments—whispered -to be the light contributor to Blackwood’s Magazine—which -are presented gratuitously with -the periodicals, to lead the minds of the Gents -into another channel. Let them no longer -imagine that the usual method of dressing -of an acknowledged leader of fashion—the -gentleman of the greatest taste in England—is -in a puckered six-and-threepenny blouse with -braid round the pockets (for such is the garment -that bears his name), a rainbow-tinted -<span class='pageno' id='Page_102'>102</span>stock, drugget-pattern trowsers, and nine-and-sixpenny -broad-brimmed hats. Do this, and -send all your present stock to America.</p> - -<p class='c015'>Editors of Sporting Papers! you are renowned -for obliging courtesy: assist the good -work with your able pens, by never allowing -the term “Sporting Gent” to appear in your -columns, whether he undertakes to drive a pony -to death, match his dog to be torn to pieces -last in a struggle, or advance a pecuniary -inducement for two savages to pummel each -other’s heads to jelly. Did you ever see a -“Sporting Gent?” You must have done so; -and you have noted his coarse hands, his flattened -fingers, and dubby nails; his common -green coat, his slang handkerchief, and his low -hat: his dreary conversation entirely confined -to wiredrawn accounts of wagers he has -won, and matches he can make for any -thing. Never give him a chance of attaining -publicity, and he will go out and disappear -<span class='pageno' id='Page_103'>103</span>altogether, leaving the coast clear for -gentlemen.</p> - -<p class='c015'>We are not altogether without a hope that, -by strong and energetic measures, the Gents -may be put down—this would be a real “improved -condition of the people” much to be -desired. A Court of Propriety might be established -at which Gents could be convicted of -misdemeanors against what is usually considered -<i>comme-il-faut</i>. And punishments might -be awarded proportionate to the nature of the -offence. For a heavy one a Gent might be -transported for fourteen days into good society, -where he would be especially wretched; for a -light one he might enter into heavy recognizances -not to smoke cigars on omnibuses or -steamers, not to wear any thing but quiet -colours, not to say he knew actresses, and not -to whistle when he entered a tavern, or, with -his fellows, laugh loudly at nothing, when ensconced -in his box there, for any time not -<span class='pageno' id='Page_104'>104</span>exceeding the same period. A Court of -Requests would be of no use; for it is of little -avail requesting the Gents to do any thing. -Compulsion alone would reform them.</p> - -<p class='c015'>We trust the day will come—albeit we feel -it will not be in our time—when the Gent will -be an extinct species; his “effigies,” as the old -illustrated books have it, being alone preserved -in museums. And then this treatise may be -regarded as those zoological papers are now -which treat of the Dodo: and the hieroglyphics -of coaches and horses, pheasants, foxes’ heads, -and sporting dogs found on the huge white -buttons of his wrapper, will be regarded with -as much curiosity, and possibly will give rise -to as much discussion and investigation as the -ibises and scarabæi in the Egyptian Room of -the British Museum. We hope it may be so.</p> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c001'> - <div><span class='xsmall'>VIZETELLY BROTHERS AND CO. PRINTERS AND ENGRAVERS, FLEET STREET</span></div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<p class='c015'> </p> -<div class='tnbox'> - - <ul class='ul_1 c001'> - <li>Transcriber’s Notes: - <ul class='ul_2'> - <li>Missing or obscured punctuation was silently corrected. - </li> - <li>Typographical errors were silently corrected. - </li> - <li>Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation were made consistent only when a predominant - form was found in this book. - </li> - </ul> - </li> - </ul> - -</div> -<p class='c015'> </p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE NATURAL HISTORY OF THE GENT ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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