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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Christmas Eve, by Robert Browning
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Christmas Eve
+
+Author: Robert Browning
+
+Posting Date: March 16, 2014 [EBook #6670]
+Release Date: October, 2004
+First Posted: January 12, 2003
+Last Updated: February 4, 2008
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CHRISTMAS EVE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Charles Franks and the
+Online Distributed Proofreading Team. HTML version by Al
+Haines.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ CHRISTMAS EVE
+
+ ROBERT BROWNING
+
+
+
+ I
+
+ Out of the little chapel I burst
+ Into the fresh night-air again.
+ Five minutes full, I waited first
+ In the doorway, to escape the rain
+ That drove in gusts down the common's centre
+ At the edge of which the chapel stands,
+ Before I plucked up heart to enter.
+ Heaven knows how many sorts of hands
+ Reached past me, groping for the latch
+ Of the inner door that hung on catch
+ More obstinate the more they fumbled,
+ Till, giving way at last with a scold
+ Of the crazy hinge, in squeezed or tumbled
+ One sheep more to the rest in fold,
+ And left me irresolute, standing sentry
+ In the sheepfold's lath-and-plaster entry,
+ Six feet long by three feet wide,
+ Partitioned off from the vast inside--
+ I blocked up half of it at least.
+ No remedy; the rain kept driving.
+ They eyed me much as some wild beast,
+ That congregation, still arriving,
+ Some of them by the main road, white
+ A long way past me into the night,
+ Skirting the common, then diverging;
+ Not a few suddenly emerging
+ From the common's self thro' the paling-gaps
+ --They house in the gravel-pits perhaps,
+ Where the road stops short with its safeguard border
+ Of lamps, as tired of such disorder;--
+ But the most turned in yet more abruptly
+ From a certain squalid knot of alleys,
+ Where the town's bad blood once slept corruptly,
+ Which now the little chapel rallies
+ And leads into day again,--its priestliness
+ Lending itself to hide their beastliness
+ So cleverly (thanks in part to the mason),
+ And putting so cheery a whitewashed face on
+ Those neophytes too much in lack of it,
+ That, where you cross the common as I did,
+ And meet the party thus presided,
+ "Mount Zion" with Love-lane at the back of it,
+ They front you as little disconcerted
+ As, bound for the hills, her fate averted,
+ And her wicked people made to mind him,
+ Lot might have marched with Gomorrah
+ behind him.
+
+
+ II
+
+ Well, from the road, the lanes or the common,
+ In came the flock: the fat weary woman,
+ Panting and bewildered, down-clapping
+ Her umbrella with a mighty report,
+ Grounded it by me, wry and flapping,
+ A wreck of whalebones; then, with snort,
+ Like a startled horse, at the interloper
+ (Who humbly knew himself improper,
+ But could not shrink up small enough)
+ --Round to the door, and in,--the gruff
+ Hinge's invariable scold
+ Making my very blood run cold.
+ Prompt in the wake of her, up-pattered
+ On broken clogs, the many-tattered
+ Little old-faced peaking sister-turned-mother
+ Of the sickly babe she tried to smother
+ Somehow up, with its spotted face,
+ From the cold, on her breast, the one warm place;
+ She too must stop, wring the poor ends dry
+ Of a draggled shawl, and add thereby
+ Her tribute to the door-mat, sopping
+ Already from my own clothes' dropping,
+ Which yet she seemed to grudge I should stand on:
+ Then, stooping down to take off her pattens,
+ She bore them defiantly, in each hand one,
+ Planted together before her breast
+ And its babe, as good as a lance in rest.
+ Close on her heels, the dingy satins
+ Of a female something, past me flitted,
+ With lips as much too white, as a streak
+ Lay far too red on each hollow cheek;
+ And it seemed the very door-hinge pitied
+ All that was left of a woman once,
+ Holding at least its tongue for the nonce.
+ Then a tall yellow man, like the Penitent Thief,
+ With his jaw bound up in a handkerchief,
+ And eyelids screwed together tight,
+ Led himself in by some inner light.
+ And, except from him, from each that entered,
+ I got the same interrogation--
+ "What, you the alien, you have ventured
+ "To take with us, the elect, your station?
+ "A carer for none of it, a Gallio!"--
+ Thus, plain as print, I read the glance
+ At a common prey, in each countenance
+ As of huntsman giving his hounds the tallyho.
+ And, when the door's cry drowned their wonder,
+ The draught, it always sent in shutting,
+ Made the flame of the single tallow candle
+ In the cracked square lantern I stood under,
+ Shoot its blue lip at me, rebutting
+ As it were, the luckless cause of scandal:
+ I verily fancied the zealous light
+ (In the chapel's secret, too!) for spite
+ Would shudder itself clean off the wick,
+ With the airs of a Saint John's Candlestick.
+ [Footnote: See Rev. i. 20.]
+ There was no standing it much longer.
+ "Good folks," thought I, as resolve grew stronger,
+ "This way you perform the Grand-Inquisitor
+ "When the weather sends you a chance visitor?
+ "You are the men, and wisdom shall die with you,
+ "And none of the old Seven Churches vie with you!
+ "But still, despite the pretty perfection
+ "To which you carry your trick of exclusiveness,
+ "And, taking God's word under wise protection,
+ "Correct its tendency to diffusiveness,
+ "And bid one reach it over hot ploughshares,--
+ "Still, as I say, though you've found salvation,
+ "If I should choose to cry, as now, 'Shares!'--
+ "See if the best of you bars me my ration!
+ "I prefer, if you please, for my expounder
+ "Of the laws of the feast, the feast's own Founder;
+ "Mine's the same right with your poorest and sickliest
+ "Supposing I don the marriage vestiment:
+ "So shut your mouth and open your Testament,
+ "And carve me my portion at your quickliest!"
+ Accordingly, as a shoemaker's lad
+ With wizened face in want of soap,
+ And wet apron wound round his waist like a rope,
+ (After stopping outside, for his cough was bad,
+ To get the fit over, poor gentle creature,
+ And so avoid disturbing the preacher)
+ --Passed in, I sent my elbow spikewise
+ At the shutting door, and entered likewise,
+ Received the hinge's accustomed greeting,
+ And crossed the threshold's magic pentacle,
+ And found myself in full conventicle,
+ --To wit, in Zion Chapel Meeting,
+ On the Christmas-Eve of 'Forty-nine,
+ Which, calling its flock to their special clover,
+ Found all assembled and one sheep over,
+ Whose lot, as the weather pleased, was mine.
+
+
+ III
+
+ I very soon had enough of it.
+ The hot smell and the human noises,
+ And my neighbour's coat, the greasy cuff of it,
+ Were a pebble-stone that a child's hand poises,
+ Compared with the pig-of-lead-like pressure
+ Of the preaching man's immense stupidity,
+ As he poured his doctrine forth, full measure,
+ To meet his audience's avidity.
+ You needed not the wit of the Sibyl
+ To guess the cause of it all, in a twinkling:
+ No sooner our friend had got an inkling
+ Of treasure hid in the Holy Bible,
+ (Whene'er 'twas the thought first struck him,
+ How death, at unawares, might duck him
+ Deeper than the grave, and quench
+ The gin-shop's light in hell's grim drench)
+ Than he handled it so, in fine irreverence,
+ As to hug the book of books to pieces:
+ And, a patchwork of chapters and texts in severance,
+ Not improved by the private dog's-ears and creases,
+ Having clothed his own soul with, he'd fain see equipt yours,--
+ So tossed you again your Holy Scriptures.
+ And you picked them up, in a sense, no doubt:
+ Nay, had but a single face of my neighbours
+ Appeared to suspect that the preacher's labours
+ Were help which the world could be saved without,
+ 'Tis odds but I might have borne in quiet
+ A qualm or two at my spiritual diet,
+ Or (who can tell?) perchance even mustered
+ Somewhat to urge in behalf of the sermon:
+ But the flock sat on, divinely flustered,
+ Sniffing, methought, its dew of Hermon
+ With such content in every snuffle,
+ As the devil inside us loves to ruffle.
+ My old fat woman purred with pleasure,
+ And thumb round thumb went twirling faster,
+ While she, to his periods keeping measure,
+ Maternally devoured the pastor.
+ The man with the handkerchief untied it,
+ Showed us a horrible wen inside it,
+ Gave his eyelids yet another screwing,
+ And rocked himself as the woman was doing.
+ The shoemaker's lad, discreetly choking,
+ Kept down his cough. 'Twas too provoking!
+ My gorge rose at the nonsense and stuff of it;
+ So, saying like Eve when she plucked the apple,
+ "I wanted a taste, and now there's enough of it,"
+ I flung out of the little chapel.
+
+
+ IV
+
+ There was a lull in the rain, a lull
+ In the wind too; the moon was risen,
+ And would have shone out pure and full,
+ But for the ramparted cloud-prison,
+ Block on block built up in the West,
+ For what purpose the wind knows best,
+ Who changes his mind continually.
+ And the empty other half of the sky
+ Seemed in its silence as if it knew
+ What, any moment, might look through
+ A chance gap in that fortress massy:--
+ Through its fissures you got hints
+ Of the flying moon, by the shifting tints,
+ Now, a dull lion-colour, now, brassy
+ Burning to yellow, and whitest yellow,
+ Like furnace-smoke just ere flames bellow,
+ All a-simmer with intense strain
+ To let her through,--then blank again,
+ At the hope of her appearance failing.
+ Just by the chapel, a break in the railing
+ Shows a narrow path directly across;
+ 'Tis ever dry walking there, on the moss--
+ Besides, you go gently all the way uphill.
+ I stooped under and soon felt better;
+ My head grew lighter, my limbs more supple,
+ As I walked on, glad to have slipt the fetter.
+ My mind was full of the scene I had left,
+ That placid flock, that pastor vociferant,
+ --How this outside was pure and different!
+ The sermon, now--what a mingled weft
+ Of good and ill! Were either less,
+ Its fellow had coloured the whole distinctly;
+ But alas for the excellent earnestness,
+ And the truths, quite true if stated succinctly,
+ But as surely false, in their quaint presentment,
+ However to pastor and flock's contentment!
+ Say rather, such truths looked false to your eyes,
+ With his provings and parallels twisted and twined,
+ Till how could you know them, grown double their size
+ In the natural fog of the good man's mind,
+ Like yonder spots of our roadside lamps,
+ Haloed about with the common's damps?
+ Truth remains true, the fault's in the prover;
+ The zeal was good, and the aspiration;
+ And yet, and yet, yet, fifty times over,
+ Pharaoh received no demonstration,
+ By his Baker's dream of Basket Three,
+ Of the doctrine of the Trinity,--
+ Although, as our preacher thus embellished it,
+ Apparently his hearers relished it
+ With so unfeigned a gust--who knows if
+ They did not prefer our friend to Joseph?
+ But so it is everywhere, one way with all of them!
+ These people have really felt, no doubt,
+ A something, the motion they style the Call of them;
+ And this is their method of bringing about,
+ By a mechanism of words and tones,
+ (So many texts in so many groans)
+ A sort of reviving and reproducing,
+ More or less perfectly, (who can tell?)
+ The mood itself, which strengthens by using;
+ And how that happens, I understand well.
+ A tune was born in my head last week,
+ Out of the thump-thump and shriek-shriek
+ Of the train, as I came by it, up from Manchester;
+ And when, next week, I take it back again,
+ My head will sing to the engine's clack again,
+ While it only makes my neighbour's haunches stir,
+ --Finding no dormant musical sprout
+ In him, as in me, to be jolted out.
+ 'Tis the taught already that profits by teaching;
+ He gets no more from the railway's preaching
+ Than, from this preacher who does the rail's office, I:
+ Whom therefore the flock cast a jealous eye on.
+ Still, why paint over their door "Mount Zion,"
+ To which all flesh shall come, saith the prophecy?
+
+
+ V
+
+ But wherefore be harsh on a single case?
+ After how many modes, this Christmas Eve,
+ Does the self-same weary thing take place?
+ The same endeavour to make you believe,
+ And with much the same effect, no more:
+ Each method abundantly convincing,
+ As I say, to those convinced before,
+ But scarce to be swallowed without wincing
+ By the not-as-yet-convinced. For me,
+ I have my own church equally:
+ And in this church my faith sprang first!
+ (I said, as I reached the rising ground,
+ And the wind began again, with a burst
+ Of rain in my face, and a glad rebound
+ From the heart beneath, as if, God speeding me,
+ I entered his church-door, nature leading me)
+ --In youth I look to these very skies,
+ And probing their immensities,
+ I found God there, his visible power;
+ Yet felt in my heart, amid all its sense
+ Of the power, an equal evidence
+ That his love, there too, was the nobler dower.
+ For the loving worm within its clod,
+ Were diviner than a loveless god
+ Amid his worlds, I will dare to say.
+ You know what I mean: God's all, man's nought:
+ But also, God, whose pleasure brought
+ Man into being, stands away
+ As it were a handbreadth off, to give
+ Room for the newly-made to live,
+ And look at him from a place apart,
+ And use his gifts of brain and heart,
+ Given, indeed, but to keep for ever.
+ Who speaks of man, then, must not sever
+ Man's very elements from man,
+ Saying, "But all is God's"--whose plan
+ Was to create man and then leave him
+ Able, his own word saith, to grieve him
+ But able to glorify him too,
+ As a mere machine could never do,
+ That prayed or praised, all unaware
+ Of its fitness for aught but praise and prayer,
+ Made perfect as a thing of course.
+ Man, therefore, stands on his own stock
+ Of love and power as a pin-point rock:
+ And, looking to God who ordained divorce
+ Of the rock from his boundless continent,
+ Sees, in his power made evident,
+ Only excess by a million-fold
+ O'er the power God gave man in the mould.
+ For, note: man's hand, first formed to carry
+ A few pounds' weight, when taught to marry
+ Its strength with an engine's, lifts a mountain,
+ --Advancing in power by one degree;
+ And why count steps through eternity?
+ But love is the ever-springing fountain:
+ Man may enlarge or narrow his bed
+ For the water's play, but the water-head--
+ How can he multiply or reduce it?
+ As easy create it, as cause it to cease;
+ He may profit by it, or abuse it,
+ But 'tis not a thing to bear increase
+ As power does: be love less or more
+ In the heart of man, he keeps it shut
+ Or opes it wide, as he pleases, but
+ Love's sum remains what it was before.
+ So, gazing up, in my youth, at love
+ As seen through power, ever above
+ All modes which make it manifest,
+ My soul brought all to a single test--
+ That he, the Eternal First and Last,
+ Who, in his power, had so surpassed
+ All man conceives of what is might,--
+ Whose wisdom, too, showed infinite,
+ --Would prove as infinitely good;
+ Would never, (my soul understood,)
+ With power to work all love desires,
+ Bestow e'en less than man requires;
+ That he who endlessly was teaching,
+ Above my spirit's utmost reaching,
+ What love can do in the leaf or stone,
+ (So that to master this alone,
+ This done in the stone or leaf for me,
+ I must go on learning endlessly)
+ Would never need that I, in turn,
+ Should point him out defect unheeded,
+ And show that God had yet to learn
+ What the meanest human creature needed,
+ --Not life, to wit, for a few short years,
+ Tracking his way through doubts and fears,
+ While the stupid earth on which I stay
+ Suffers no change, but passive adds
+ Its myriad years to myriads,
+ Though I, he gave it to, decay,
+ Seeing death come and choose about me,
+ And my dearest ones depart without me.
+ No: love which, on earth, amid all the shows of it,
+ Has ever been seen the sole good of life in it,
+ The love, ever growing there, spite of the strife in it.
+ Shall arise, made perfect, from death's repose of it,
+ And I shall behold thee, face to face,
+ O God, and in thy light retrace
+ How in all I loved here, still wast thou!
+ Whom pressing to, then, as I fain would now,
+ I shall find as able to satiate
+ The love, thy gift, as my spirit's wonder
+ Thou art able to quicken and sublimate,
+ With this sky of thine, that I now walk under,
+ And glory in thee for, as I gaze
+ Thus, thus! Oh, let men keep their ways
+ Of seeking thee in a narrow shrine--
+ Be this my way! And this is mine!
+
+
+ VI
+
+ For lo, what think you? suddenly
+ The rain and the wind ceased, and the sky
+ Received at once the full fruition
+ Of the moon's consummate apparition.
+ The black cloud-barricade was riven,
+ Ruined beneath her feet, and driven
+ Deep in the West; while, bare and breathless,
+ North and South and East lay ready
+ For a glorious thing that, dauntless, deathless,
+ Sprang across them and stood steady.
+ 'Twas a moon-rainbow, vast and perfect,
+ From heaven to heaven extending, perfect
+ As the mother-moon's self, full in face.
+ It rose, distinctly at the base
+ With its seven proper colours chorded,
+ Which still, in the rising, were compressed,
+ Until at last they coalesced,
+ And supreme the spectral creature lorded
+ In a triumph of whitest white,--
+ Above which intervened the night.
+ But above night too, like only the next,
+ The second of a wondrous sequence,
+ Reaching in rare and rarer frequence,
+ Till the heaven of heavens were circumflexed,
+ Another rainbow rose, a mightier,
+ Fainter, flushier and flightier,--
+ Rapture dying along its verge.
+ Oh, whose foot shall I see emerge,
+ Whose, from the straining topmost dark,
+ On to the keystone of that arc?
+
+
+ VII
+
+ This sight was shown me, there and then,--
+ Me, out of a world of men,
+ Singled forth, as the chance might hap
+ To another if, in a thunderclap
+ Where I heard noise and you saw flame,
+ Some one man knew God called his name.
+ For me, I think I said, "Appear!
+ "Good were it to be ever here.
+ "If thou wilt, let me build to thee
+ "Service-tabernacles three,
+ "Where, forever in thy presence,
+ "In ecstatic acquiescence,
+ "Far alike from thriftless learning
+ "And ignorance's undiscerning,
+ "I may worship and remain!"
+ Thus at the show above me, gazing
+ With upturned eyes, I felt my brain
+ Glutted with the glory, blazing
+ Throughout its whole mass, over and under
+ Until at length it burst asunder
+ And out of it bodily there streamed,
+ The too-much glory, as it seemed,
+ Passing from out me to the ground,
+ Then palely serpentining round
+ Into the dark with mazy error.
+
+
+ VIII
+
+ All at once I looked up with terror.
+ He was there.
+ He himself with his human air.
+ On the narrow pathway, just before.
+ I saw the back of him, no more--
+ He had left the chapel, then, as I.
+ I forgot all about the sky.
+ No face: only the sight
+ Of a sweepy garment, vast and white,
+ With a hem that I could recognize.
+ I felt terror, no surprise;
+ My mind filled with the cataract,
+ At one bound of the mighty fact.
+ "I remember, he did say
+ "Doubtless that, to this world's end,
+ "Where two or three should meet and pray,
+ "He would be in their midst, their friend;
+ "Certainly he was there with them!"
+ And my pulses leaped for joy
+ Of the golden thought without alloy,
+ Then I saw his very vesture's hem.
+ Then rushed the blood back, cold and clear,
+ With a fresh enhancing shiver of fear;
+ And I hastened, cried out while I pressed
+ To the salvation of the vest,
+ "But not so, Lord! It cannot be
+ "That thou, indeed, art leaving me--
+ "Me, that have despised thy friends!
+ "Did my heart make no amends?
+ "Thou art the love of God--above
+ "His power, didst hear me place his love,
+ "And that was leaving the world for thee.
+ "Therefore thou must not turn from me
+ "As I had chosen the other part!
+ "Folly and pride o'ercame my heart.
+ "Our best is bad, nor bears thy test;
+ "Still, it should be our very best.
+ "I thought it best that thou, the spirit,
+ "Be worshipped in spirit and in truth,
+ "And in beauty, as even we require it--
+ "Not in the forms burlesque, uncouth,
+ "I left but now, as scarcely fitted
+ "For thee: I knew not what I pitied.
+ "But, all I felt there, right or wrong,
+ "What is it to thee, who curest sinning?
+ "Am I not weak as thou art strong?
+ "I have looked to thee from the beginning,
+ "Straight up to thee through all the world
+ "Which, like an idle scroll, lay furled
+ "To nothingness on either side:
+ "And since the time thou wast descried,
+ "Spite of the weak heart, so have I
+ "Lived ever, and so fain would die,
+ "Living and dying, thee before!
+ "But if thou leavest me----"
+
+
+ IX
+
+ Less or more,
+ I suppose that I spoke thus.
+ When,--have mercy, Lord, on us!
+ The whole face turned upon me full.
+ And I spread myself beneath it,
+ As when the bleacher spreads, to seethe it
+ In the cleansing sun, his wool,--
+ Steeps in the flood of noontide whiteness
+ Some denied, discoloured web--
+ So lay I, saturate with brightness.
+ And when the flood appeared to ebb,
+ Lo, I was walking, light and swift,
+ With my senses settling fast and steadying,
+ But my body caught up in the whirl and drift
+ Of the vesture's amplitude, still eddying
+ On, just before me, still to be followed,
+ As it carried me after with its motion:
+ What shall I say?--as a path were hollowed
+ And a man went weltering through the ocean,
+ Sucked along in the flying wake
+ Of the luminous water-snake.
+ Darkness and cold were cloven, as through
+ I passed, upborne yet walking too.
+ And I turned to myself at intervals,--
+ "So he said, so it befalls.
+ "God who registers the cup
+ "Of mere cold water, for his sake
+ "To a disciple rendered up,
+ "Disdains not his own thirst to slake
+ "At the poorest love was ever offered:
+ "And because my heart I proffered,
+ "With true love trembling at the brim,
+ "He suffers me to follow him
+ "For ever, my own way,--dispensed
+ "From seeking to be influenced
+ "By all the less immediate ways
+ "That earth, in worships manifold,
+ "Adopts to reach, by prayer and praise,
+ "The garment's hem, which, lo, I hold!"
+
+
+ X
+
+ And so we crossed the world and stopped.
+ For where am I, in city or plain,
+ Since I am 'ware of the world again?
+ And what is this that rises propped
+ With pillars of prodigious girth?
+ Is it really on the earth,
+ This miraculous Dome of God?
+ Has the angel's measuring-rod
+ Which numbered cubits, gem from gem,
+ 'Twixt the gates of the New Jerusalem,
+ Meted it out,--and what he meted,
+ Have the sons of men completed?
+ --Binding, ever as he bade,
+ Columns in the colonnade
+ With arms wide open to embrace
+ The entry of the human race
+ To the breast of... what is it, yon building,
+ Ablaze in front, all paint and gilding,
+ With marble for brick, and stones of price
+ For garniture of the edifice?
+ Now I see; it is no dream;
+ It stands there and it does not seem;
+ For ever, in pictures, thus it looks,
+ And thus I have read of it in books
+ Often in England, leagues away,
+ And wondered how these fountains play,
+ Growing up eternally
+ Each to a musical water-tree,
+ Whose blossoms drop, a glittering boon,
+ Before my eyes, in the light of the moon,
+ To the granite layers underneath.
+ Liar and dreamer in your teeth!
+ I, the sinner that speak to you,
+ Was in Rome this night, and stood, and knew
+ Both this and more. For see, for see,
+ The dark is rent, mine eye is free
+ To pierce the crust of the outer wall,
+ And I view inside, and all there, all,
+ As the swarming hollow of a hive,
+ The whole Basilica alive!
+ Men in the chancel, body and nave,
+ Men on the pillars' architrave,
+ Men on the statues, men on the tombs
+ With popes and kings in their porphyry wombs,
+ All famishing in expectation
+ Of the main-altar's consummation.
+ For see, for see, the rapturous moment
+ Approaches, and earth's best endowment
+ Blends with heaven's; the taper-fires
+ Pant up, the winding brazen spires
+ Heave loftier yet the baldachin; [Footnote: Canopy over the High Altar.]
+ The incense-gaspings, long kept in,
+ Suspire in clouds; the organ blatant
+ Holds his breath and grovels latent,
+ As if God's hushing finger grazed him,
+ (Like Behemoth when he praised him)
+ At the silver bell's shrill tinkling,
+ Quick cold drops of terror sprinkling
+ On the sudden pavement strewed
+ With faces of the multitude.
+ Earth breaks up, time drops away,
+ In flows heaven, with its new day
+ Of endless life, when He who trod,
+ Very man and very God,
+ This earth in weakness, shame and pain,
+ Dying the death whose signs remain
+ Up yonder on the accursed tree,--
+ Shall come again, no more to be
+ Of captivity the thrall,
+ But the one God, All in all,
+ King of kings, Lord of lords,
+ As His servant John received the words,
+ "I died, and live for evermore!"
+
+
+ XI
+
+ Yet I was left outside the door.
+ "Why sit I here on the threshold-stone
+ "Left till He return, alone
+ "Save for the garment's extreme fold
+ "Abandoned still to bless my hold?"
+ My reason, to my doubt, replied,
+ As if a book were opened wide,
+ And at a certain page I traced
+ Every record undefaced,
+ Added by successive years,--
+ The harvestings of truth's stray ears
+ Singly gleaned, and in one sheaf
+ Bound together for belief.
+ Yes, I said--that he will go
+ And sit with these in turn, I know.
+ Their faith's heart beats, though her head swims
+ Too giddily to guide her limbs,
+ Disabled by their palsy-stroke
+ From propping mine. Though Rome's gross yoke
+ Drops off, no more to be endured,
+ Her teaching is not so obscured
+ By errors and perversities,
+ That no truth shines athwart the lies:
+ And he, whose eye detects a spark
+ Even where, to man's, the whole seems dark,
+ May well see flame where each beholder
+ Acknowledges the embers smoulder.
+ But I, a mere man, fear to quit
+ The clue God gave me as most fit
+ To guide my footsteps through life's maze,
+ Because himself discerns all ways
+ Open to reach him: I, a man
+ Able to mark where faith began
+ To swerve aside, till from its summit
+ Judgment drops her damning plummet,
+ Pronouncing such a fatal space
+ Departed from the founder's base:
+ He will not bid me enter too,
+ But rather sit, as now I do,
+ Awaiting his return outside.
+ --'Twas thus my reason straight replied
+ And joyously I turned, and pressed
+ The garment's skirt upon my breast,
+ Until, afresh its light suffusing me,
+ My heart cried--What has been abusing me
+ That I should wait here lonely and coldly,
+ Instead of rising, entering boldly,
+ Baring truth's face, and letting drift
+ Her veils of lies as they choose to shift?
+ Do these men praise him? I will raise
+ My voice up to their point of praise!
+ I see the error; but above
+ The scope of error, see the love.--
+ Oh, love of those first Christian days!
+ --Fanned so soon into a blaze,
+ From the spark preserved by the trampled sect,
+ That the antique sovereign Intellect
+ Which then sat ruling in the world,
+ Like a change in dreams, was hurled
+ From the throne he reigned upon:
+ You looked up and he was gone.
+ Gone, his glory of the pen!
+ --Love, with Greece and Rome in ken,
+ Bade her scribes abhor the trick
+ Of poetry and rhetoric,
+ And exult with hearts set free,
+ In blessed imbecility
+ Scrawled, perchance, on some torn sheet
+ Leaving Sallust incomplete
+ Gone, his pride of sculptor, painter!
+ --Love, while able to acquaint her
+ While the thousand statues yet
+ Fresh from chisel, pictures wet
+ From brush, she saw on every side,
+ Chose rather with an infant's pride
+ To frame those portents which impart
+ Such unction to true Christian Art.
+ Gone, music too! The air was stirred
+ By happy wings: Terpander's* bird
+ *[Footnote: Terpander, a famous Lesbian musician and lyric poet, 670 B.C.]
+ (That, when the cold came, fled away)
+ Would tarry not the wintry day,--
+ As more-enduring sculpture must,
+ Till filthy saints rebuked the gust
+ With which they chanced to get a sight
+ Of some dear naked Aphrodite
+ They glanced a thought above the toes of,
+ By breaking zealously her nose off.
+ Love, surely, from that music's lingering,
+ Might have filched her organ-fingering,
+ Nor chosen rather to set prayings
+ To hog-grunts, praises to horse-neighings.
+ Love was the startling thing, the new:
+ Love was the all-sufficient too;
+ And seeing that, you see the rest:
+ As a babe can find its mother's breast
+ As well in darkness as in light,
+ Love shut our eyes, and all seemed right.
+ True, the world's eyes are open now:
+ --Less need for me to disallow
+ Some few that keep Love's zone unbuckled,
+ Peevish as ever to be suckled,
+ Lulled by the same old baby-prattle
+ With intermixture of the rattle,
+ When she would have them creep, stand steady
+ Upon their feet, or walk already,
+ Not to speak of trying to climb.
+ I will be wise another time,
+ And not desire a wall between us,
+ When next I see a church-roof cover
+ So many species of one genus,
+ All with foreheads bearing _lover_
+ Written above the earnest eyes of them;
+ All with breasts that beat for beauty,
+ Whether sublimed, to the surprise of them,
+ In noble daring, steadfast duty,
+ The heroic in passion, or in action,--
+ Or, lowered for sense's satisfaction,
+ To the mere outside of human creatures,
+ Mere perfect form and faultless features.
+ What? with all Rome here, whence to levy
+ Such contributions to their appetite,
+ With women and men in a gorgeous bevy,
+ They take, as it were, a padlock, clap it tight
+ On their southern eyes, restrained from
+ feeding
+ On the glories of their ancient reading,
+ On the beauties of their modern singing,
+ On the wonders of the builder's bringing,
+ On the majesties of Art around them,--
+ And, all these loves, late struggling incessant,
+ When faith has at last united and bound them,
+ They offer up to God for a present?
+ Why, I will, on the whole, be rather proud of it,--
+ And, only taking the act in reference
+ To the other recipients who might have allowed it,
+ I will rejoice that God had the preference.
+
+
+ XII
+
+ So I summed up my new resolves:
+ Too much love there can never be.
+ And where the intellect devolves
+ Its function on love exclusively,
+ I, a man who possesses both,
+ Will accept the provision, nothing loth,
+ --Will feast my love, then depart elsewhere,
+ That my intellect may find its share.
+ And ponder, O soul, the while thou departest,
+ And see them applaud the great heart of the artist,
+ Who, examining the capabilities
+ Of the block of marble he has to fashion
+ Into a type of thought or passion,--
+ Not always, using obvious facilities,
+ Shapes it, as any artist can,
+ Into a perfect symmetrical man,
+ Complete from head to foot of the life-size,
+ Such as old Adam stood in his wife's eyes,--
+ But, now and then, bravely aspires to consummate
+ A Colossus by no means so easy to come at,
+ And uses the whole of his block for the bust,
+ Leaving the mind of the public to finish it,
+ Since cut it ruefully short he must:
+ On the face alone he expends his devotion,
+ He rather would mar than resolve to diminish it,
+ --Saying, "Applaud me for this grand notion
+ "Of what a face may be! As for completing it
+ "In breast and body and limbs, do that, you!"
+ All hail! I fancy how, happily meeting it,
+ A trunk and legs would perfect the statue,
+ Could man carve so as to answer volition.
+ And how much nobler than petty cavils,
+ Were a hope to find, in my spirit-travels,
+ Some artist of another ambition,
+ Who, having a block to carve, no bigger,
+ Has spent his power on the opposite quest,
+ And believed to begin at the feet was best--
+ For so may I see, ere I die, the whole figure!
+
+
+ XIII
+
+ No sooner said than out in the night!
+ My heart lighter and more light:
+ And still, as before, I was walking swift,
+ With my senses settling fast and steadying,
+ But my body caught up in the whirl and drift
+ Of the vesture's amplitude, still eddying
+ On just before me, still to be followed,
+ As it carried me after with its motion,
+ --What shall I say?--as a path, were hollowed,
+ And a man went weltering through the ocean,
+ Sucked along in the flying wake
+ Of the luminous water-snake.
+
+
+ XIV
+
+ Alone! I am left alone once more--
+ (Save for the garment's extreme fold
+ Abandoned still to bless my hold)
+ Alone, beside the entrance-door
+ Of a sort of temple,-perhaps a college,
+ --Like nothing I ever saw before
+ At home in England, to my knowledge.
+ The tall old quaint irregular town!
+ It may be... though which, I can't affirm... any
+ Of the famous middle-age towns of Germany:
+ And this flight of stairs where I sit down,
+ Is it Halle, Weimar, Cassel, Frankfort
+ Or Gottingen, I have to thank for't?
+ It may be Gottingen,--most likely.
+ Through the open door I catch obliquely
+ Glimpses of a lecture-hall;
+ And not a bad assembly neither,
+ Ranged decent and symmetrical
+ On benches, waiting what's to see there:
+ Which, holding still by the vesture's hem,
+ I also resolve to see with them,
+ Cautious this time how I suffer to slip
+ The chance of joining in fellowship
+ With any that call themselves his friends;
+ As these folk do, I have a notion.
+ But hist--a buzzing and emotion!
+ All settle themselves, the while ascends
+ By the creaking rail to the lecture-desk,
+ Step by step, deliberate
+ Because of his cranium's over-freight,
+ Three parts sublime to one grotesque,
+ If I have proved an accurate guesser,
+ The hawk-nosed high-cheek-boned Professor.
+ I felt at once as if there ran
+ A shoot of love from my heart to the man--
+ That sallow virgin-minded studious
+ Martyr to mild enthusiasm,
+ As he uttered a kind of cough-preludious
+ That woke my sympathetic spasm,
+ (Beside some spitting that made me sorry)
+ And stood, surveying his auditory
+ With a wan pure look, well-nigh celestial,--
+ Those blue eyes had survived so much!
+ While, under the foot they could not smutch,
+ Lay all the fleshly and the bestial.
+ Over he bowed, and arranged his notes,
+ Till the auditory's clearing of throats
+ Was done with, died into a silence;
+ And, when each glance was upward sent,
+ Each bearded mouth composed intent,
+ And a pin might be heard drop half a mile hence,--
+ He pushed back higher his spectacles,
+ Let the eyes stream out like lamps from cells,
+ And giving his head of hair--a hake
+ Of undressed tow, for colour and quantity--
+ One rapid and impatient shake,
+ (As our own Young England adjusts a jaunty tie
+ When about to impart, on mature digestion,
+ Some thrilling view of the surplice-question)
+ --The Professor's grave voice, sweet though hoarse,
+ Broke into his Christmas-Eve discourse.
+
+
+ XV
+
+ And he began it by observing
+ How reason dictated that men
+ Should rectify the natural swerving,
+ By a reversion, now and then,
+ To the well-heads of knowledge, few
+ And far away, whence rolling grew
+ The life-stream wide whereat we drink,
+ Commingled, as we needs must think,
+ With waters alien to the source;
+ To do which, aimed this eve's discourse;
+ Since, where could be a fitter time
+ For tracing backward to its prime
+ This Christianity, this lake,
+ This reservoir, whereat we slake,
+ From one or other bank, our thirst?
+ So, he proposed inquiring first
+ Into the various sources whence
+ This Myth of Christ is derivable;
+ Demanding from the evidence,
+ (Since plainly no such life was livable)
+ How these phenomena should class?
+ Whether 'twere best opine Christ was,
+ Or never was at all, or whether
+ He was and was not, both together--
+ It matters little for the name,
+ So the idea be left the same.
+ Only, for practical purpose' sake,
+ 'Twas obviously as well to take
+ The popular story,--understanding
+ How the ineptitude of the time,
+ And the penman's prejudice, expanding
+ Fact into fable fit for the clime,
+ Had, by slow and sure degrees, translated it
+ Into this myth, this Individuum,--
+ Which, when reason had strained and abated it
+ Of foreign matter, left, for residuum,
+ A Man!--a right true man, however,
+ Whose work was worthy a man's endeavour:
+ Work, that gave warrant almost sufficient
+ To his disciples, for rather believing
+ He was just omnipotent and omniscient,
+ As it gives to us, for as frankly receiving
+ His word, their tradition,--which, though it meant
+ Something entirely different
+ From all that those who only heard it,
+ In their simplicity thought and averred it,
+ Had yet a meaning quite as respectable:
+ For, among other doctrines delectable,
+ Was he not surely the first to insist on
+ The natural sovereignty of our race?--
+ Here the lecturer came to a pausing-place.
+ And while his cough, like a drouthy piston,
+ Tried to dislodge the husk that grew to him,
+ I seized the occasion of bidding adieu to him,
+ The vesture still within my hand.
+
+
+ XVI
+
+ I could interpret its command.
+ This time he would not bid me enter
+ The exhausted air-bell of the Critic.
+ Truth's atmosphere may grow mephitic
+ When Papist struggles with Dissenter,
+ Impregnating its pristine clarity,
+ --One, by his daily fare's vulgarity,
+ Its gust of broken meat and garlic;
+ --One, by his soul's too-much presuming
+ To turn the frankincense's fuming
+ And vapours of the candle starlike
+ Into the cloud her wings she buoys on.
+ Each, that thus sets the pure air seething,
+ May poison it for healthy breathing--
+ But the Critic leaves no air to poison;
+ Pumps out with ruthless ingenuity
+ Atom by atom, and leaves you--vacuity.
+ Thus much of Christ does he reject?
+ And what retain? His intellect?
+ What is it I must reverence duly?
+ Poor intellect for worship, truly,
+ Which tells me simply what was told
+ (If mere morality, bereft
+ Of the God in Christ, be all that's left)
+ Elsewhere by voices manifold;
+ With this advantage, that the stater
+ Made nowise the important stumble
+ Of adding, he, the sage and humble,
+ Was also one with the Creator.
+ You urge Christ's followers' simplicity:
+ But how does shifting blame, evade it?
+ Have wisdom's words no more felicity?
+ The stumbling-block, his speech--who laid it?
+ How comes it that for one found able
+ To sift the truth of it from fable,
+ Millions believe it to the letter?
+ Christ's goodness, then--does that fare better?
+ Strange goodness, which upon the score
+ Of being goodness, the mere due
+ Of man to fellow-man, much more
+ To God,--should take another view
+ Of its possessor's privilege,
+ And bid him rule his race! You pledge
+ Your fealty to such rule? What, all--
+ From heavenly John and Attic Paul,
+ And that brave weather-battered Peter,
+ Whose stout faith only stood completer
+ For buffets, sinning to be pardoned,
+ As, more his hands hauled nets, they hardened,--
+ All, down to you, the man of men,
+ Professing here at Gottingen,
+ Compose Christ's flock! They, you and I,
+ Are sheep of a good man! And why?
+ The goodness,--how did he acquire it?
+ Was it self-gained, did God inspire it?
+ Choose which; then tell me, on what ground
+ Should its possessor dare propound
+ His claim to rise o'er us an inch?
+ Were goodness all some man's invention,
+ Who arbitrarily made mention
+ What we should follow, and whence flinch,--
+ What qualities might take the style
+ Of right and wrong,--and had such guessing
+ Met with as general acquiescing
+ As graced the alphabet erewhile,
+ When A got leave an Ox to be,
+ No Camel (quoth the Jews) like G*,--
+ *[Footnote: Gimel, the Hebrew G, means camel.]
+ For thus inventing thing and title
+ Worship were that man's fit requital.
+ But if the common conscience must
+ Be ultimately judge, adjust
+ Its apt name to each quality
+ Already known,--I would decree
+ Worship for such mere demonstration
+ And simple work of nomenclature,
+ Only the day I praised, not nature,
+ But Harvey, for the circulation.
+ I would praise such a Christ, with pride
+ And joy, that he, as none beside,
+ Had taught us how to keep the mind
+ God gave him, as God gave his kind,
+ Freer than they from fleshly taint:
+ I would call such a Christ our Saint,
+ As I declare our Poet, him
+ Whose insight makes all others dim:
+ A thousand poets pried at life,
+ And only one amid the strife
+ Rose to be Shakespeare: each shall take
+ His crown, I'd say, for the world's sake--
+ Though some objected--"Had we seen
+ "The heart and head of each, what screen
+ "Was broken there to give them light,
+ "While in ourselves it shuts the sight,
+ "We should no more admire, perchance,
+ "That these found truth out at a glance,
+ "Than marvel how the bat discerns
+ "Some pitch-dark cavern's fifty turns,
+ "Led by a finer tact, a gift
+ "He boasts, which other birds must shift
+ "Without, and grope as best they can."
+ No, freely I would praise the man,--
+ Nor one whit more, if he contended
+ That gift of his, from God descended.
+ Ah friend, what gift of man's does not?
+ No nearer something, by a jot,
+ Rise an infinity of nothings
+ Than one: take Euclid for your teacher:
+ Distinguish kinds: do crownings, clothings,
+ Make that creator which was creature?
+ Multiply gifts upon man's head,
+ And what, when all's done, shall be said
+ But--the more gifted he, I ween!
+ That one's made Christ, this other, Pilate,
+ And this might be all that has been,--
+ So what is there to frown or smile at?
+ What is left for us, save, in growth
+ Of soul, to rise up, far past both,
+ From the gift looking to the giver,
+ And from the cistern to the river,
+ And from the finite to infinity,
+ And from man's dust to God's divinity?
+
+
+ XVII
+
+ Take all in a word: the truth in God's breast
+ Lies trace for trace upon curs impressed:
+ Though he is so bright and we so dim,
+ We are made in his image to witness him:
+ And were no eye in us to tell,
+ Instructed by no inner sense,
+ The light of heaven from the dark of hell,
+ That light would want its evidence,--
+ Though justice, good and truth were still
+ Divine, if, by some demon's will,
+ Hatred and wrong had been proclaimed
+ Law through the worlds, and right misnamed.
+ No mere exposition of morality
+ Made or in part or in totality,
+ Should win you to give it worship, therefore:
+ And, if no better proof you will care for,
+ --Whom do you count the worst man upon earth?
+ Be sure, he knows, in his conscience, more
+ Of what right is, than arrives at birth
+ In the best man's acts that we bow before:
+ This last knows better--true, but my fact is,
+ 'Tis one thing to know, and another to practise.
+ And thence I conclude that the real God-function
+ Is to furnish a motive and injunction
+ For practising what we know already.
+ And such an injunction and such a motive
+ As the God in Christ, do you waive, and "heady,
+ "High-minded," hang your tablet-votive
+ Outside the fane on a finger-post?
+ Morality to the uttermost,
+ Supreme in Christ as we all confess,
+ Why need we prove would avail no jot
+ To make him God, if God he were not?
+ What is the point where himself lays stress?
+ Does the precept run "Believe in good,
+ "In justice, truth, now understood
+ "For the first time?"--or, "Believe in me,
+ "Who lived and died, yet essentially
+ "Am Lord of Life?" Whoever can take
+ The same to his heart and for mere love's sake
+ Conceive of the love,--that man obtains
+ A new truth; no conviction gains
+ Of an old one only, made intense
+ By a fresh appeal to his faded sense.
+
+
+ XVIII
+
+ Can it be that he stays inside?
+ Is the vesture left me to commune with?
+ Could my soul find aught to sing in tune with
+ Even at this lecture, if she tried?
+ Oh, let me at lowest sympathize
+ With the lurking drop of blood that lies
+ In the desiccated brain's white roots
+ Without throb for Christ's attributes,
+ As the lecturer makes his special boast!
+ If love's dead there, it has left a ghost.
+ Admire we, how from heart to brain
+ (Though to say so strike the doctors dumb)
+ One instinct rises and falls again,
+ Restoring the equilibrium.
+ And how when the Critic had done his best,
+ And the pearl of price, at reason's test,
+ Lay dust and ashes levigable
+ On the Professor's lecture-table,--
+ When we looked for the inference and monition
+ That our faith, reduced to such condition,
+ Be swept forthwith to its natural dust-hole,--
+ He bids us, when we least expect it,
+ Take back our faith,--if it be not just whole,
+ Yet a pearl indeed, as his tests affect it,
+ Which fact pays damage done rewardingly,
+ So, prize we our dust and ashes accordingly!
+ "Go home and venerate the myth
+ "I thus have experimented with--
+ "This man, continue to adore him
+ "Rather than all who went before him,
+ "And all who ever followed after!"--
+ Surely for this I may praise you, my brother!
+ Will you take the praise in tears or laughter?
+ That's one point gained: can I compass another?
+ Unlearned love was safe from spurning--
+ Can't we respect your loveless learning?
+ Let us at least give learning honour!
+ What laurels had we showered upon her,
+ Girding her loins up to perturb
+ Our theory of the Middle Verb;
+ Or Turk-like brandishing a scimitar
+ O'er anapasts in comic-trimeter;
+ Or curing the halt and maimed 'Iketides,'
+ [Footnote: "The Suppliants," a fragment of a play by Aeschylus.]
+ While we lounged on at our indebted ease:
+ Instead of which, a tricksy demon
+ Sets her at Titus or Philemon!
+ When ignorance wags his ears of leather
+ And hates God's word, 'tis altogether;
+ Nor leaves he his congenial thistles
+ To go and browse on Paul's Epistles.
+ --And you, the audience, who might ravage
+ The world wide, enviably savage,
+ Nor heed the cry of the retriever,
+ More than Herr Heine (before his fever),--
+ I do not tell a lie so arrant
+ As say my passion's wings are furled up,
+ And, without plainest heavenly warrant,
+ I were ready and glad to give the world up--
+ But still, when you rub brow meticulous,
+ And ponder the profit of turning holy
+ If not for God's, for your own sake solely,
+ --God forbid I should find you ridiculous!
+ Deduce from this lecture all that eases you,
+ Nay, call yourselves, if the calling pleases you,
+ "Christians,"--abhor the deist's pravity,--
+ Go on, you shall no more move my gravity
+ Than, when I see boys ride a-cockhorse,
+ I find it in my heart to embarrass them
+ By hinting that their stick's a mock horse,
+ And they really carry what they say carries them.
+
+
+ XIX
+
+ So sat I talking with my mind.
+ I did not long to leave the door
+ And find a new church, as before,
+ But rather was quiet and inclined
+ To prolong and enjoy the gentle resting
+ From further tracking and trying and testing.
+ "This tolerance is a genial mood!"
+ (Said I, and a little pause ensued).
+ "One trims the bark 'twixt shoal and shelf,
+ "And sees, each side, the good effects of it,
+ "A value for religion's self,
+ "A carelessness about the sects of it.
+ "Let me enjoy my own conviction,
+ "Not watch my neighbour's faith with fretfulness,
+ "Still spying there some dereliction
+ "Of truth, perversity, forgetfulness!"
+ Better a mild indifferentism,
+ "Teaching that both our faiths (though duller
+ "His shine through a dull spirit's prism)
+ "Originally had one colour!
+ "Better pursue a pilgrimage
+ "Through ancient and through modern times
+ "To many peoples, various climes,
+ "Where I may see saint, savage, sage
+ "Fuse their respective creeds in one
+ "Before the general Father's throne!"
+
+
+ XX
+
+ --'Twas the horrible storm began afresh!
+ The black night caught me in his mesh,
+ Whirled me up, and flung me prone.
+ I was left on the college-step alone.
+ I looked, and far there, ever fleeting
+ Far, far away, the receding gesture,
+ And looming of the lessening vesture!--
+ Swept forward from my stupid hand,
+ While I watched my foolish heart expand
+ In the lazy glow of benevolence,
+ O'er the various modes of man's belief.
+ I sprang up with fear's vehemence.
+ Needs must there be one way, our chief
+ Best way of worship: let me strive
+ To find it, and when found, contrive
+ My fellows also take their share!
+ This constitutes my earthly care:
+ God's is above it and distinct.
+ For I, a man, with men am linked
+ But not a brute with brutes; no gain
+ That I experience, must remain
+ Unshared: but should my best endeavour
+ To share it, fail--subsisteth ever
+ God's care above, and I exult
+ That God, by God's own ways occult,
+ May--doth, I will believe--bring back
+ All wanderers to a single track.
+ Meantime, I can but testify
+ God's care for me--no more, can I--
+ It is but for myself I know;
+ The world rolls witnessing around me
+ Only to leave me as it found me;
+ Men cry there, but my ear is slow:
+ There races flourish or decay
+ --What boots it, while yon lucid way
+ Loaded with stars divides the vault?
+ But soon my soul repairs its fault
+ When, sharpening sense's hebetude,
+ She turns on my own life! So viewed,
+ No mere mote's-breadth but teems immense
+ With witnessings of providence:
+ And woe to me if when I look
+ Upon that record, the sole book
+ Unsealed to me, I take no heed
+ Of any warning that I read!
+ Have I been sure, this Christmas-Eve,
+ God's own hand did the rainbow weave,
+ Whereby the truth from heaven slid
+ Into my soul?--I cannot bid
+ The world admit he stooped to heal
+ My soul, as if in a thunder-peal
+ Where one heard noise, and one saw flame,
+ I only knew he named my name:
+ But what is the world to me, for sorrow
+ Or joy in its censure, when to-morrow
+ It drops the remark, with just-turned head
+ Then, on again, 'That man is dead'?
+ Yes, but for me--my name called,--drawn
+ As a conscript's lot from the lap's black yawn,
+ He has dipt into on a battle-dawn:
+ Bid out of life by a nod, a glance,--
+ Stumbling, mute-mazed, at nature's chance,
+ With a rapid finger circled round,
+ Fixed to the first poor inch of ground
+ To fight from, where his foot was found;
+ Whose ear but a minute since lay free
+ To the wide camp's buzz and gossipry--
+ Summoned, a solitary man
+ To end his life where his life began,
+ From the safe glad rear, to the dreadful van!
+ Soul of mine, hadst thou caught and held
+ By the hem of the vesture!--
+
+
+ XXI
+
+ And I caught
+ At the flying robe, and unrepelled
+ Was lapped again in its folds full-fraught
+ With warmth and wonder and delight,
+ God's mercy being infinite.
+ For scarce had the words escaped my tongue,
+ When, at a passionate bound, I sprung,
+ Out of the wandering world of rain,
+ Into the little chapel again.
+
+
+ XXII
+
+ How else was I found there, bolt upright
+ On my bench, as if I had never left it?
+ --Never flung out on the common at night,
+ Nor met the storm and wedge-like cleft it,
+ Seen the raree-show of Peter's successor,
+ Or the laboratory of the Professor!
+ For the Vision, that was true, I wist,
+ True as that heaven and earth exist.
+ There sat my friend, the yellow and tall,
+ With his neck and its wen in the selfsame place;
+ Yet my nearest neighbour's cheek showed gall.
+ She had slid away a contemptuous space:
+ And the old fat woman, late so placable,
+ Eyed me with symptoms hardly mistakable,
+ Of her milk of kindness turning rancid.
+ In short, a spectator might have fancied
+ That I had nodded, betrayed by slumber.
+ Yet kept my scat, a warning ghastly,
+ Through the heads of the sermon, nine in number,
+ And woke up now at the tenth and lastly.
+ But again, could such disgrace have happened?
+ Each friend at my elbow had surely nudged it;
+ And, as for the sermon, where did my nap end?
+ Unless I heard it, could I have judged it?
+ Could I report as I do at the close,
+ First, the preacher speaks through his nose:
+ Second, his gesture is too emphatic:
+ Thirdly, to waive what's pedagogic,
+ The subject-matter itself lacks logic:
+ Fourthly, the English is ungrammatic.
+ Great news! the preacher is found no Pascal,
+ Whom, if I pleased, I might to the task call
+ Of making square to a finite eye
+ The circle of infinity,
+ And find so all-but-just-succeeding!
+ Great news! the sermon proves no reading
+ Where bee-like in the flowers I bury me,
+ Like Taylor's the immortal Jeremy!
+ And now that I know the very worst of him,
+ What was it I thought to obtain at first of him?
+ Ha! Is God mocked, as he asks,
+ Shall I take on me to change his tasks,
+ And dare, despatched to a river-head
+ For a simple draught of the element,
+ Neglect the thing for which he sent,
+ And return with another thing instead?--
+ Saying, "Because the water found
+ "Welling up from the underground,
+ "Is mingled with the taints of earth,
+ "While thou, I know, dost laugh at dearth,
+ "And couldst, at wink or word, convulse
+ "The world with the leap of a river-pulse,--
+ "Therefore I turned from the oozings muddy,
+ "And bring thee a chalice I found, instead;
+ "See the brave veins in the breccia ruddy!
+ "One would suppose that the marble bled.
+ "What matters the water? A hope I have nursed:
+ "The waterless cup will quench my thirst."
+ --Better have knelt at the poorest stream
+ That trickles in pain from the straitest rift!
+ For the less or the more is all God's gift,
+ Who blocks up or breaks wide the granite-seam.
+ And here, is there water or not, to drink?
+ I then, in ignorance and weakness,
+ Taking God's help, have attained to think
+ My heart does best to receive in meekness
+ That mode of worship, as most to his mind,
+ Where earthly aids being cast behind,
+ His All in All appears serene
+ With the thinnest human veil between,
+ Letting the mystic lamps, the seven,
+ The many motions of his spirit,
+ Pass, as they list, to earth from heaven.
+ For the preacher's merit or demerit,
+ It were to be wished the flaws were fewer
+ In the earthen vessel, holding treasure
+ Which lies as safe in a golden ewer;
+ But the main thing is, does it hold good measure?
+ Heaven soon sets right all other matters!--
+ Ask, else, these ruins of humanity,
+ This flesh worn out to rags and tatters,
+ This soul at struggle with insanity,
+ Who thence take comfort--can I doubt?--
+ Which an empire gained were a loss without.
+ May it be mine! And let us hope
+ That no worse blessing befall the Pope,
+ Turned sick at last of to-day's buffoonery,
+ Of posturings and petticoatings,
+ Beside his Bourbon bully's gloatings
+ In the bloody orgies of drunk poltroonery!
+ Nor may the Professor forego its peace
+ At Gottingen presently, when, in the dusk
+ Of his life, if his cough, as I fear, should increase,
+ Prophesied of by that horrible husk--
+ When thicker and thicker the darkness fills
+ The world through his misty spectacles,
+ And he gropes for something more substantial
+ Than a fable, myth or personification,--
+ May Christ do for him what no mere man shall,
+ And stand confessed as the God of salvation!
+ Meantime, in the still recurring fear
+ Lest myself, at unawares, be found,
+ While attacking the choice of my neighbours round,
+ With none of my own made--I choose here!
+ The giving out of the hymn reclaims me;
+ I have done: and if any blames me,
+ Thinking that merely to touch in brevity
+ The topics I dwell on, were unlawful,--
+ Or worse, that I trench, with undue levity,
+ On the bounds of the holy and the awful,--
+ I praise the heart, and pity the head of him,
+ And refer myself to THEE, instead of him,
+ Who head and heart alike discernest
+ Looking below light speech we utter,
+ When frothy spume and frequent sputter
+ Prove that the soul's depths boil in earnest!
+ May truth shine out, stand ever before us!
+ I put up pencil and join chorus
+ To Hepzibah Tune, without further apology,
+ The last five verses of the third section
+ Of the seventeenth hymn of Whitfield's Collection,
+ To conclude with the doxology.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Christmas Eve, by Robert Browning
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