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diff --git a/old/66712-0.txt b/old/66712-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 3eb0324..0000000 --- a/old/66712-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3726 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Grammar-land, by M. L. Nesbitt - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Grammar-land - Grammar in Fun for the Children of Schoolroom-shire - -Author: M. L. Nesbitt - -Illustrator: F. Waddy - -Release Date: November 11, 2021 [eBook #66712] - -Language: English - -Produced by: MFR and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at - https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images - generously made available by The Internet Archive/American - Libraries.) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GRAMMAR-LAND *** - - - - - -[Illustration: COURT GRAMMARLAND] - - - - - GRAMMAR-LAND - - OR, - - GRAMMAR IN FUN FOR THE CHILDREN OF - SCHOOLROOM-SHIRE - - BY - M. L. NESBITT - - _With Frontispiece and Initials by_ F. WADDY. - - [Illustration] - - NEW YORK - HENRY HOLT AND COMPANY - - 1885. - - - - -[Illustration] - - TO ALL LITTLE CHILDREN - WHO THINK GRAMMAR HARD AND DRY, - - =This Book is Dedicated=, - - BY ONE WHO LOVES TO SEE - SUNSHINE IN SCHOOLROOM-SHIRE. - - - - -[Illustration] - -PREFACE TO THE THIRD EDITION. - - -The favourable reception that the former Editions of this little book -have met with, calls for a word of acknowledgment. It seems that not -only the little folks for whom it was intended, but children of a -larger growth have read it with interest; and students, who spend days -and nights “with weary eyesight poring over miserable books,” have -condescended to turn over these pages, and laughingly admit that the -imagination may sow even the dustiest of book-shelves with flowers. - -Teachers of the younger classes in schools have found this little -volume extremely useful; and it is suggested, that though children -will often read it with pleasure by themselves, they will derive much -more profit from it when it is made the text-book for a lesson. The -simple exercises appended to each chapter will then be found both -useful and entertaining. - -[Illustration] - - - - -[Illustration] - -CONTENTS. - - - PAGE - - INTRODUCTION--JUDGE GRAMMAR AND HIS SUBJECTS 1 - - CHAPTER I. - MR. NOUN 7 - - CHAPTER II. - LITTLE ARTICLE 15 - - CHAPTER III. - MR. PRONOUN 20 - - CHAPTER IV. - SERJEANT PARSING’S VISIT TO SCHOOLROOM-SHIRE 28 - - CHAPTER V. - MR. ADJECTIVE 30 - - CHAPTER VI. - MR. ADJECTIVE TRIED FOR STEALING 37 - - CHAPTER VII. - THE QUARREL BETWEEN MR. PRONOUN AND MR. ADJECTIVE, - AND LITTLE INTERJECTION 45 - - CHAPTER VIII. - DR. VERB 54 - - CHAPTER IX. - DR. VERB’S THREE TENSES, NUMBER, AND PERSON 62 - - CHAPTER X. - SERJEANT PARSING IN SCHOOLROOM-SHIRE AGAIN 70 - - CHAPTER XI. - THE NOMINATIVE CASE 73 - - CHAPTER XII. - ADVERB 80 - - CHAPTER XIII. - PREPOSITION 86 - - CHAPTER XIV. - PREPOSITIONS GOVERN THE OBJECTIVE CASE 93 - - CHAPTER XV. - CONJUNCTION 99 - - CHAPTER XVI. - ACTIVE VERBS GOVERN THE OBJECTIVE CASE 106 - - CHAPTER XVII. - THE POSSESSIVE CASE; AND WHO’S TO HAVE - THE PRIZE? 114 - -[Illustration] - - - - -[Illustration] - -GRAMMAR-LAND. - -INTRODUCTION. - -JUDGE GRAMMAR AND HIS SUBJECTS. - - -[Illustration: JUDGE GRAMMAR RULES IN EVERY LAND.] - -What is Grammar-land? Where is Grammar-land? Have you ever been to -Grammar-land? Wait a minute and you shall hear. You will not find -Grammar-land marked on the globe, and I never saw a map of it; but -then, who ever saw a map of Fairy-land? and yet you have all heard of -that, and know a great deal about it, of course. Well, Grammar-land is -a place every bit as real as Fairy-land, and much more important. The -Fairy Queen is all very well, and a very great little queen in her way; -but Judge Grammar! great, stern, old Judge Grammar, is far mightier -than any Fairy Queen, for he rules over real kings and queens down -here in Matter-of-fact-land. Our kings and queens, and emperors too, -have all to obey Judge Grammar’s laws, or else they would talk what is -called _bad grammar_; and then, even their own subjects would laugh at -them, and would say: “Poor things! When they were children, and lived -in Schoolroom-shire, they can never have been taken to Grammar-land! -How shocking!” And Judge Grammar himself--well, I cannot say what he -would do, as I suppose such a thing never really happened; for who -could imagine a king or queen saying, “_I is_,” or “_you was_,” or “_it -wasn’t me_.” No one speaks in that way except people who have never -heard of Judge Grammar. - -Ah! I wish you could see him--this great Judge--sitting on his throne -in his court, and giving orders about his precious words, which are -the riches of Grammar-land. For Judge Grammar says that all the words -that you can say belong really to him, and he can do what he likes with -them; he is, in fact, King as well as Judge over Grammar-land. Now, you -know that when William the Conqueror conquered England he divided the -land among his nobles, and they had it for their own so long as they -obeyed the king and helped him in his wars. It was just the same with -Judge Grammar when he took possession of Grammar-land; he gave all the -words to his nine followers, to take for their very own as long as they -obeyed him. These nine followers he called the nine Parts-of-Speech, -and to one or other of them every word in Grammar-land was given. - -They are funny fellows, these nine Parts-of-Speech. You will find out -by-and-by which you like best amongst them all. There is rich Mr. Noun, -and his useful friend Pronoun; little ragged Article, and talkative -Adjective; busy Dr. Verb, and Adverb; perky Preposition, convenient -Conjunction, and that tiresome Interjection, the oddest of them all. - -Now, as some of these Parts-of-Speech are richer, that is, have more -words than others, and as they all like to have as many as they can -get, it follows, I am sorry to say, that they are rather given to -quarrelling; and so it fell out that one day, when my story begins, -they made so much noise, wrangling and jangling in the court, that they -woke Judge Grammar up from a long and very comfortable nap. - -“What is all this about?” he growled out, angrily. “Brother Parsing! -Dr. Syntax! here!” - -In an instant the Judge’s two learned counsellors were by his side. - -Serjeant Parsing (Brother Parsing, the Judge calls him) has a sharp -nose, bright eyes, a little round wig with a tail to it, and an -eye-glass. He is very quick and cunning in finding out who people -are and what they mean, and making them tell “the truth, the whole -truth, and nothing but the truth.” It is of no use to say “I don’t -know” to Serjeant Parsing. He will question you, and question you, -till somehow or other he makes you know, and finds out all about you. -When I say he will question _you_, of course I mean he will question -the Parts-of-Speech, for that is his business, and that is why Judge -Grammar summoned him. For whenever there is a fuss in Grammar-land, -Serjeant Parsing has to find out all about it, and Dr. Syntax has to -say what is right or wrong, according to the law. - -“Brother Parsing,” said the Judge, “this racket must be stopped. What -are they fighting about? I divided the words clearly enough once -amongst the nine Parts-of-Speech. Why cannot they keep the peace?” - -“My lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing, “the fact is that it is a long -time since you portioned out the words, and the Parts-of-Speech since -then have been left to do pretty much as they like. Some of them are -greedy, and have stolen their neighbours’ words. Some of them have -got hold of new words, which the others say they had no right to -make; and some of them are even inclined to think that Dr. Syntax is -old-fashioned, and need not be obeyed. In fact, unless your lordship -takes the matter in hand at once, I am afraid the good old laws of -Grammar-land will all go to wreck and ruin.” - -“That must never be,” said the Judge, solemnly shaking his wig: “that -must never be. We must stop it at once. Go and summon all my court -before me.” - -“Certainly, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing; “but may I ask if -there is any Part-of-Speech you wish for in particular?” - -“I wish for them all, sir, every one,” replied the Judge. “They shall -all come before me, and you shall question them in turn, and make them -say what right they have to the titles and the words which they claim; -and then if there is any disagreement between them, I will settle the -matter once for all.” - -“Quite so, my lord,” said Serjeant Parsing; “and shall I invite our -friends in Schoolroom-shire?” - -“Our friends in Schoolroom-shire? By all means let them come,” replied -the Judge. “If we wish to have peace among the Parts-of-Speech it is -most important that the people of Matter-of-fact-land should know how -to use them well. And as the people of Matter-of-fact-land generally -spend at least a part of their lives in Schoolroom-shire, we cannot -do better than send our invitation there. Go, Brother Parsing, -and request them to come, and to bring their slates and pencils -with them, that they may keep an account of what we do, and let our -Parts-of-Speech prepare to come before us at once.” - -Away went Serjeant Parsing, as quick as thought, and soon the whole -court was assembled. There was Judge Grammar on his throne, with a -long flowing wig and gorgeous robes. At the table below him sat his -two counsellors, Serjeant Parsing and Dr. Syntax. Dr. Syntax is very -tall and thin and dark. He has a long thin neck covered up with a -stiff black tie, which looks as though it nearly choked him. When he -speaks he stands up, looks straight through his spectacles, sticks out -his chin, and says his say in a gruff and melancholy voice, as if he -were repeating a lesson. He is the terror of all little boys, for he -never smiles, and he is so very, very old, that people say he never -was young like other folks; that when he was a baby he always cried -in Greek, and that his first attempt at talking was in Latin. However -that may be, there he sat, side by side with Serjeant Parsing, while -the company from Schoolroom-shire, armed with slates and pencils, -prepared to listen to the examination that was to take place, and the -Parts-of-Speech crowded together at the end of the court, waiting for -their names to be called. - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER I. - -MR. NOUN. - - -[Illustration: - - COMMON NOUNS - BIRD HORSE CAT - PROPER NOUNS - VENUS ALICE BOB FIDO] - -The first Part-of-Speech that was called was Mr. Noun. He is a stout -big fellow, very well dressed, for he does not mind showing that he is -very rich. - -As Mr. Noun came forward, Serjeant Parsing rose, put his pen behind his -ear, arranged his papers on the table before him, and looking at Mr. -Noun through his eye-glass, asked: “What is your name?” - -“Name,” answered Mr. Noun. - -“Yes, your name?” repeated Serjeant Parsing. - -“Name,” again answered Mr. Noun. - -“Do not trifle, sir,” said the Judge, sternly; “what is your name? -Answer at once, and truly.” - -“I have answered truly,” replied Mr. Noun. “My name is _Name_, for -_noun_ means _name_. The name of everything belongs to me, so I am -called Mr. Name, or Mr. Noun, which means the same thing, and all my -words are called _nouns_.” - -“The name of _everything_ belongs to you?” asked Serjeant Parsing, in -surprise. - -“Yes,” answered Mr. Noun, “the name of everything.” - -“What? Do you mean to say that the name of everything I can see round -me now is one of your words, and is called a noun?” - -“I do indeed,” said Mr. Noun. “The name of everything you can see, or -touch, or taste, or smell, or hear, belongs to me.” - -“What,” said Serjeant Parsing, “is this _desk_ yours then, and the -_ink_ and the _pen_ and the _window_?” - -“The _words_ that _name_ them are all mine,” said Mr. Noun. “Of course -I have nothing to do with the _things_. No gentleman in Grammar-land -has anything to do with _things_, only with words; and I assure you, -you cannot _name_ anything that you can see, or touch, or taste, or -smell, or hear, without using one of my words. _Desk_, _pen_, _ink_, -_window_, _water_, _wine_, _fire_, _smoke_, _light_, _lightning_, -_thunder_, a _taste_, a _smell_, a _noise_, all these words belong to -me, and are called nouns.” - -“I see,” said Serjeant Parsing; “you can _hear_ thunder, and _smell_ -smoke, and _taste_ wine. And I suppose _dinner_ and _tea_ are yours -also?” - -“Certainly, the _words_ breakfast, dinner, and tea, are mine,” -replied Mr. Noun. “The _things_ are what the people live upon in -Schoolroom-shire, but they could not name what they eat without using -my words. The servant would have to make signs to let people know that -dinner was ready; she could not _say_ so unless I allowed her to use my -noun _dinner_.” - -“Well,” said Serjeant Parsing, “if you have the name of everything we -can see, touch, taste, smell, or hear, all I can say is, I hope you are -satisfied, and do not claim any more words besides.” - -“Indeed,” replied Mr. Noun, drawing himself proudly up, “I have not -mentioned nearly all my words. I told you at first that I have the name -of _everything_, and there are plenty of things that you know about, -although you cannot see, or touch, or taste, or smell, or hear them. -For instance, _love_, or _anger_, or _happiness_. You can feel them in -your heart, and know they are there, although you cannot touch them -with your fingers, or taste them with your tongue, or find them out by -any of your five senses.” - -“Do you mean to say, then,” asked Serjeant Parsing, “that when a child -feels naughty in its heart----?” - -“Naughtiness is mine,” said Mr. Noun; “the _word_ naughtiness, for it -is the _name_ of the something bad that the child feels.” - -“And when it is kind?” - -“Kindness is mine, because it is the _name_ of the something kind -and nice it feels _there_. I have a good many more words that end -in _ness_, and that are the names of things you can find out about, -and talk about, though you cannot tell what shape or colour or smell -or taste they have; like _cleverness_, _silliness_, _idleness_, -_ugliness_, _quickness_.” - -“I see,” said Serjeant Parsing. “You cannot tell what shape or colour -cleverness is, but you can soon find out whether a boy has any of it by -the way in which he does his lessons.” - -“Yes,” said Mr. Noun; “and the names of his lessons are mine too, -for the lessons are things that you can learn about; _geography_, -_history_, _writing_, _arithmetic_, all these names belong to me.” - -“Really Mr. Noun,” said Serjeant Parsing, “you do claim a big share of -words. You will be making out that the names of _persons_ belong to you -next.” - -“So they do,” replied Mr. Noun; “no matter who the persons are, their -names belong to me. I have the name of every person in the world from -good Queen Victoria on her throne to the raggedest beggar-boy in the -street. There is not a child in Schoolroom-shire whose name is not a -noun. And I have not the names of _people_ only, but of all pet dogs, -cats, birds, horses, or rabbits: _Fido_, _Tabby_, _Bright-eye_, _Tiny_, -_Shag_, and any other pet names you can think of. Indeed, I am very -particular about such names. I call them _proper nouns_, and expect -them always to be written with a capital letter.” - -“Proper nouns?” repeated Serjeant Parsing. “Then what are the other -nouns called?” - -“They are only _common_ nouns,” answered Mr. Noun, carelessly. - -“Then all names are common nouns, except the names of persons or -animals, are they?” asked Serjeant Parsing. - -“No, no, no,” said Mr. Noun, quite crossly: “the name of an animal is -not a proper noun unless it is the own special name of one animal, that -marks it from other animals of the same kind. _Dog_ is the name given -to all dogs, they have the name in common between them; but _Fido_ is -the name of one particular dog, his own proper name by which his master -calls him. So _dog_ is a common noun, _Fido_ is a proper noun.” - -“Oh, I see,” said Serjeant Parsing. “Then the particular name of any -person or animal is a proper noun, and all other names are common -nouns.” - -“I never said that,” exclaimed Mr. Noun. “How very stup---- I mean, you -do not understand me, my dear sir. I never said that the particular -name of a place or thing was not a proper noun too. Every particular -and special name, whether of a person, an animal, a place, or a thing, -is a proper noun. Every place has its own proper name, or should have. -Every country and mountain and river and town in Europe is named with -a _proper_ noun. Why, you would not call _England_ a common noun, I -should hope? There are plenty of countries in the world, but there is -only one country that is called by the proper name of dear old England. -_Country_ is a common noun, all countries have it in common, but when -you want to speak of any particular country you use the proper nouns, -_England_, _Scotland_, _Ireland_, _France_, _etc._, _etc._” - -“Well, I think we can understand that the particular names of _places_ -are proper nouns,” said Serjeant Parsing; “but you spoke about _things_ -also. Surely things have no proper names? You do not give names to -chairs and tables, and call them Mr. Leanback or Squire Mahogany?” - -“Not exactly,” answered Mr. Noun; “we do not name chairs and tables -with proper names, but what do you say to houses? They are _things_, -are they not? And you may have heard of such names as _Marlborough -House_, _Springfield Cottage_, _Ivy Lodge_.” - -“Well, no other things besides houses have proper names, have they?” -said Serjeant Parsing. - -“Books are things,” said Mr. Noun, “and they all have proper names. So -have ships and boats, _Warrior_, _Seafoam_, _Fairy_, or something of -that sort. I have heard of a cannon which was called _Roarer_, and you -ought to know that King Arthur’s sword was named _Excalibur_. Indeed, -you can give a proper name to anything you like that you want to -distinguish from other things of the same sort.” - -“And all such proper names, or proper nouns, as you call them, must be -written with a capital letter, must they? Whether they are the names of -persons, animals, places, or things, little or big?” - -“Sir,” answered Mr. Noun, “littleness or bigness makes no difference. -If you had a pet fly, and called it Silver-wing, Silver-wing must be -written with a capital S, because it is a proper noun.” - -“Well, Mr. Noun,” said Serjeant Parsing, “your ideas of what is -_proper_ seem to me rather peculiar, but I suppose Dr. Syntax has no -objection, so I will say nothing.” - -Dr. Syntax silently bowed his head. - -The Judge then spoke. “Mr. Noun, you have claimed a great many words, -and it remains to be seen whether all the other Parts-of-Speech agree -to these words being yours. In order to find out whether they do or -no, I will ask our friends from Schoolroom-shire to write out, each of -them, a list of twenty names, the names of anything they can _see_, -_hear_, _touch_, _taste_, _smell_, or _think about_, or the _proper_ -names of any persons, animals, places, or things they know; and when -next we meet I will read out what they have written, and we shall hear -whether any one has any good reason to give why they should not be -called nouns.” - -The Judge then rose from his seat, and every one left the court. - -[Illustration] - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER II. - -LITTLE ARTICLE. - - -[Illustration: - - the a - LITTLE·ARTICLE] - -When Judge Grammar next took his seat in court, a number of papers -covered with words were handed up to him by Serjeant Parsing. - -“They are the lists of names, my lord,” he said, “which you asked the -people of Schoolroom-shire to write for you.” - -“Very good,” said the Judge. “I will read some of the words aloud, and -if any one thinks that they are not _nouns_, let him come forward and -say so. And he began to read: _the garden_, _the house_, _the sky_, _a -book_, _a bird_, _a fly_,” when suddenly he was interrupted by a sound -of bitter sobbing and crying. - -“What is the matter?” he asked. “Who dares to interrupt the court?” - -“It is this tiresome little Article, your lordship,” said Serjeant -Parsing, pushing forward a ragged little fellow, who was rubbing both -fists into his eyes and crying bitterly. “He says he is being cheated, -my lord; that he has only two words of his own in all Grammar-land, -and that they are being used on these lists as if they belonged to Mr. -Noun.” - -“Bring him up before me,” said the Judge. “What is your name, sir?” - -“My name is Article, or Little-joint,” replied the little fellow. “I -have only two words in all Grammar-land, _a_ and _the_. I lend them to -Mr. Noun whenever he asks for them fairly; but, your lordship, it is -very hard,” and here he began to cry again, “that they should be read -as your lordship was reading them just now, as if they belonged to Mr. -Noun, when he is so rich, and I am so very, very poor.” - -“Is it true, Brother Parsing,” asked the Judge, “that little Article is -always ready to wait upon Mr. Noun?” - -“Quite true, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing. “Indeed, I have -often been able to discover Mr. Noun by catching sight of little -Article running before him, for whenever you see an _a_ or a _the_, -you may be sure that Mr. Noun will have a word of his own in somewhere -near. The chief use of little Article is to point out that a noun is -coming, for you may be sure that if you can put an _a_ or a _the_ -before a word, that word is a noun, as _a bird_, _the sky_.” - -“And do you use him as much before your pet proper nouns, sir?” asked -Judge Grammar of Mr. Noun. - -“No, your lordship,” replied Mr. Noun, “that I do not. Indeed, _I_ -cannot see that little Article is of much use to me at any time; but he -has an old habit of coming with me wherever I go, and when I have no -one else I do not mind having him.” - -“Well,” said Judge Grammar, “if you do have him, take care that you use -him well; and pray, Brother Parsing, tell the Schoolroom-shire children -to give him a separate mark for himself, and not to put his words with -Mr. Noun’s.” - -“Certainly, my lord,” said Serjeant Parsing, “but I have one question -to ask first. This little Article said that he had only two words in -all Grammar-land, _a_ and _the_. I wish to ask him what he says to -_an_, as you say _an_ egg, _an_ apple? Surely _an_ belongs to him also.” - -Article was just beginning to answer when he suddenly stopped, turned -pale, trembled, and looked as if he would have tumbled to pieces in -terror, for he saw Dr. Syntax rise. - -Dr. Syntax stood upright, looking very tall and thin and black: he -spoke in very stern voice, but all he said was, “_An_ is only used -before a vowel or an _h_ mute.” Then he sat down again. - -“Ah!” said Serjeant Parsing, drawing a long breath, “thank you. Now, -little Article, say what you have to say.” - -“I have only to say,” remarked Article, recovering his courage, “that -_a_ and _an_ are really one and the same word; _a_ is only _an_ with -his coat off. I like to use it best as _a_ without its coat, but -before a vowel or an _h_ mute I am obliged,” and here Article gave a -frightened look at Dr. Syntax, “I am obliged to keep its coat on and -call it _an_.” - -“And do you know what you mean by a vowel or an _h_ mute?” asked Judge -Grammar. - -“O yes, my lord: there are five vowels, _a_, _e_, _i_, _o_, _u_,” -answered Article. - -“And what is an _h_ mute?” asked the Judge. - -“An _h_ that is not sounded, as in _an hour_, _an honour_,” answered -Article, rather impatiently, for he was getting very tired of being -questioned. - -“And you are to use _an_ before any word that begins with a vowel, _a_, -_e_, _i_, _o_, or _u_, or an _h_ mute, are you?” asked the Judge. - -“Yes, my lord,” said Article, “I told you so before.” - -“Give us some examples of words beginning with each of these,” said the -Judge, “and show us how you use _an_ before them.” - -Article held up one hand, with the thumb and four fingers stretched -out, and pointing to each one in turn, beginning with the thumb, he -answered: “_An_ apple, _an_ eagle, _an_ idol, _an_ ox, and _an_ ugly, -uncomfortable, unkind old Judge, to keep me here so long answering -questions.” Saying which, little ragged Article turned and scampered -off as fast as his legs could carry him. - -Serjeant Parsing then said that as Article had behaved so badly, he -hoped the Judge would give him a severe punishment, by allowing the -children of Schoolroom-shire to use his words as often as they liked in -their new lists. - -“Certainly,” said Judge Grammar. “I request that each of you will write -six new nouns, and will use an article before every one of them.” - -The court then rose, after Serjeant Parsing had handed the -Schoolroom-shire children the following verse, begging them to find out -all the nouns and articles in it:-- - - Once there was a little boy, - With curly hair and pleasant eye; - A boy who always spoke the truth, - And never, never told a lie. - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER III. - -MR. PRONOUN. - - -[Illustration: Allow me to go instead of you--Mr. Noun, it will save -trouble - - NOUNS - MR. PRONOUN SPEAKS] - -When the court next assembled, the Judge read aloud all the nouns and -articles on the lists, casting a stern glance at little Article at each -_a_, _an_, or _the_ that he came to, in order to show that they were -put in as a punishment for Article’s impudent behaviour the day before. -Poor little Article said nothing, and no one having objected to any of -the words, the Judge said: “Mr. Noun and Article, since no one finds -fault with the words that you claim, I declare them to be lawfully -yours. Now, stand aside, and let Mr. Pronoun come forward.” - -At these words Mr. Pronoun stood before the Judge. He is something like -Mr. Noun, only he is thinner, and looks as if he worked harder. - -“Mr. Pronoun?” said Serjeant Parsing, standing up to begin his -questioning. - -Mr. Pronoun bowed. - -“Why are you called Pronoun, sir, and what words do you possess?” - -“I am called Pronoun, because I often do the work for my rich -neighbour, Mr. Noun. _Pro_ means _instead of_, so _pronoun_ means -_instead of noun_, and my words are called _pronouns_ because they -stand _instead of nouns_. Mr. Noun, though he is so rich, does not like -to have his words used over and over again--he says it wears them out; -so to save trouble I put in _my_ little words, which do just as well.” - -“And you are not afraid of _your_ words being worn out?” asked the -Judge. - -“O dear no! my lord,” answered Pronoun. “I think my words are like the -iron rails on the railway--the more they are used the brighter they -look; it is only the idle ones that get rusty and spoilt. And it is not -many of _my_ words that get rusty, I can tell you, my lord. Serjeant -Parsing knows how he was one day trying to make sense of Dr. Faustus -without me, and what a muddle he made of it. If he will kindly repeat -it now, I will show you.” - -So Serjeant Parsing said:-- - - Dr. Faustus was a good man; - Dr. Faustus whipped Dr. Faustus’s scholars now and then - When Dr. Faustus whipped the scholars Dr. Faustus made the - scholars dance - Out of England into France. - -“There!” said Pronoun. “Let any one try to sing that, and he will -find how awkward it is. Now, if you will use my little _he_ or _his_, -instead of saying Dr. Faustus so often, and put _them_ instead of -scholars, it will sound much better. Just listen. Please, Mr. Parsing, -say it again, and I will come in when I am wanted.” - -So Serjeant Parsing said: “Dr. Faustus was a good man.” - -“_He_ whipped _his_,” shouted Pronoun. - -“He whipped his scholars now and then. When----” - -“_He_ whipped _them_,” shouted Pronoun. - -“When he whipped them,” continued Serjeant Parsing. - -“_He_ made _them_ dance,” cried Pronoun. - -“When he whipped them he made them dance,” repeated Serjeant Parsing, -“out of England into France.” - -“Ah,” said the Judge, “yes! It is certainly better so. Mr. Noun’s words -are not used so often, and all parties are pleased. Then _he_, _his_, -and _them_, are pronouns, as they stand instead of nouns. Now tell us -what other words you have, Mr. Pronoun.” - -“First of all, my lord, I have words which are used instead of the -names of people when they are talking of themselves, such as _I_ or -_me_, _we_ or _us_. When a person is speaking of himself he does not -name his own name, but says instead, _I_ or _me_. Except, indeed, very -little children, who say, ‘Baby wants more,’ or, ‘Give baby milk.’ -Reasonable persons say, ‘_I_ want more,’ ‘Give _me_ some milk.’” - -“The Queen says _we_ in speaking of herself,” remarked the Judge. - -“Yes, my lord,” said Pronoun, “the Queen is of course allowed to use -_we_ or _us_ when she means only herself; but other people do not use -_we_ or _us_ unless they mean more than one person.” - -“Then _I_ or _me_, _we_ or _us_, are the pronouns used instead of -the names of people speaking of themselves, are they, Mr. Pronoun?” -inquired Serjeant Parsing. - -“Certainly,” replied Pronoun: “and the words used instead of the names -of persons you are _speaking to_ are _thou_, or _thee_, and _you_. When -I am speaking to you, Mr. Parsing, I say, I tell _you_; I do not say, I -tell Serjeant Parsing.” - -“Quite so,” answered Serjeant Parsing; “but why do you not say, I tell -_thee_.” - -“Why, the fact is,” replied Mr. Pronoun, “that _thou_ and _thee_ really -stand for one person only, and _you_ stands for more than one. But long -ago people took it into their heads to fancy that it would be _very_ -polite to talk to one person as if he were at least as good as two. -It is a very vulgar thing to be only one person, but to be two people -rolled into one would be very grand indeed. So when a man was talking -to a grand neighbour he called him _you_ instead of _thou_, and the -grand neighbour was so much pleased that it came to be the fashion to -say _you_ to every one, and my poor little _thou_ and _thee_ were quite -set aside.” - -“And are they never used now?” said Serjeant Parsing. - -“O yes, they are used,” said Mr. Pronoun; “but as people neglected them -in former days, I won’t have them used in common now. _You_ is quite -good enough for everyday talk.” - -“Well,” said Serjeant Parsing, “you have shown that _I_ or _me_, _we_ -or _us_, _thou_ or _thee_, and _you_, are all your words. Have you any -others?” - -“Plenty more,” answered Pronoun. “I have _he_, _she_, _it_, and _they_, -to stand instead of persons or things you are talking about. - - Tom took Maria on the ice; - _It_ broke, and _she_ fell in; - _He_ got a rope, and in a trice - _He_ pulled _her_ out again. - If _they_ had both been drowned, you know, - Folks would have said, “I told you so.” - -“There _it_ stands for _ice_, and _she_ for _Maria_, and _he_ for -_Tom_, and _they_ for _Tom_ and _Maria_ together. So you see clearly -that _he_, _she_, _it_, and _they_ are pronouns.” - -“I do not think any one could deny it,” said Serjeant Parsing. “Have -you any other words?” - -“O yes, there are plenty more words that stand instead of nouns. _My_, -_thy_, _his_, _our_, _your_, _their_, which are used to show that -something belongs to the person these words stand instead of. Just as -instead of saying _Dr. Faustus’s_ scholars, we said _his_ scholars; and -as in speaking to you, my lord, I should not say Judge Grammar’s wig, -but _your_ wig.” - -“You need not say anything about my wig,” said the Judge, rather -testily. “Mind your own words, sir, and tell us what others you have.” - -“I have _who_ and _which_,” replied Pronoun. “Instead of saying, ‘I met -a man, the man had no eyes,’ you say, ‘I met a man _who_ had no eyes;’ -so my little _who_ saves Mr. Noun’s man. Instead of saying, ‘I will -tell you a tale, a tale was told to me,’ you can say, ‘I will tell you -a tale _which_ was told to me;’ so _which_ stands instead of _tale_.” - -“We understand,” said the Judge. “No more of your tales now, if you -please. You have no more words, I suppose?” - -“Indeed I have, my lord. _This_ and _that_, _these_ and _those_, are -pronouns. For when you say, ‘Look at _this_,’ you mean a picture, or -a sum, or anything else that _this_ may happen to stand for; and when -you say, ‘Take _that_,’ _that_ stands for a halfpenny, or a kick, -or anything else you may be giving at the time. And if you sing to -a child--if your lordship ever does sing--which does not seem very -likely----” - -“Mind your words, sir,” said the Judge, again. “If we sing what?” - -“If you sing ‘_This_ is the way the lady goes,’ then _this_ stands for -the jogging up and down of my knee, the way the lady goes.” - -“Really, Mr. Pronoun,” said the Judge, “you are very childish. The -Schoolroom-shire people are quite ashamed of you. We shall ask for no -more of your words to-day, for I suppose, after all, they are easy -enough to find out.” - -“All words that stand instead of nouns belong to me,” said Pronoun; -“but they are not quite so easy to find out as you suppose. Those that -stand instead of persons, like _I_, _thou_, _he_, _we_, _you_, _they_, -any one can find out. I have told you about a good many others, and if -Serjeant Parsing wishes to discover the rest for himself----” - -“He does, sir,” said the Judge, who was getting very tired and hungry. -“You may go. I will only ask you to assist our Schoolroom-shire -friends in making the following verses right. They read very queerly -at present; but if you can set them right, I think we shall agree that -what you have been saying of your words is true.” - -The Judge then wished them all good-morning, and went to lunch off a -few pages of dictionary. - -Here are the verses. - - There was a man, the man had no eyes, - And the man went out to view the skies; - The man saw a tree with apples on, - The man took no apples off, and left no apples on. - - Little Bo-peep has lost Bo-peep’s sheep, - And does not know where to find the sheep; - Leave the sheep alone till the sheep come home, - And bring the sheep’s tails behind the sheep. - - Matilda dashed the spectacles away - To wipe Matilda’s tingling eyes; - And as in twenty bits the spectacles lay, - Matilda’s grandmamma Matilda spies. - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER IV. - -SERJEANT PARSING’S VISIT. - - -[Illustration: SERGEANT PARSING] - -Serjeant Parsing paid a visit to Schoolroom-shire. - -“My young friends,” he said, in his most amiable voice, “may I trouble -you with a little piece of business for Judge Grammar to-day. I have -here a story, and the Judge requests that you will kindly find out how -many of the words in it belong to Mr. Noun, how many to Mr. Pronoun, -and how often little ragged Article comes in. The best way to do this -is to get your slates, and mark off a piece for Mr. Noun, another for -Mr. Pronoun, and a corner somewhere for little Article. Write their -names in each. Now I will read the story, and whenever I come to a -noun, give Mr. Noun a mark; whenever I read a pronoun, give a mark to -Mr. Pronoun; and if I read an _a_, _an_, or _the_, put down a mark to -little Article. When it is finished we will count up and see who has -the most marks.” - -Serjeant Parsing then read the following story:-- - -“Some sailors belonging to a ship of war had a monkey on board. The -monkey had often watched the men firing off a cannon, so one day when -they were all at dinner he thought he should like to fire it too. So -he took a match, as he had seen the men do, struck it, put it to the -touch-hole, and looked into the mouth of the cannon, to see the ball -come out. The ball did come out, and alas! alas! the poor little monkey -fell down dead.” - -[Illustration] - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER V. - -MR. ADJECTIVE. - - -[Illustration: - - A BRAVE PRINCE - A GOOD QUEEN - ADJECTIVES QUALIFY NOUNS] - -The next Part-of-Speech called up before Judge Grammar was Mr. -Adjective. - -“My young friends in Schoolroom-shire,” said Serjeant Parsing, “must -know Mr. Adjective well. He is the greatest chatterbox and the veriest -gossip that ever lived. You never in all your life, my lord, knew any -one who could say so much about one thing as Mr. Adjective. Mr. Noun -cannot mention a word, but Mr. Adjective is ready to tell all about -it, whether it is _little_ or _big_, _blue_ or _green_, _good_ or -_bad_, and mischief enough he does in Schoolroom-shire. For instance, -if Noun mentions Willy’s pen--‘_Nasty_, _spluttering_, _cross-nibbed_ -thing,’ whispers Adjective, and Willy thinks that is why he wrote such -a bad copy, and did not dot his _i_’s. If Mr. Noun points out pussy, -who is coming into the room, purring and rubbing her head against -the leg of each chair as she passes, Adjective whispers that she is -a ‘_dear_, _sweet_, _soft_, _warm_, _little_ pet,’ so Milly leaves -off her sums to pick her up and play with her. Ann, the housemaid, -finds dirty boot-marks on her nice clean stairs, and as soon as she -sees Tom she tells him he is a ‘_tiresome_, _untidy_, _disobedient_, -and _naughty_ boy,’ not knowing that Mr. Adjective was whispering all -those words in her ear. Indeed, Mr. Adjective causes more quarrels in -Schoolroom-shire, and other places too, than any one can tell. Only -yesterday Jane and Lucy had a quarrel, I hear, because Jane pulled the -arm off Lucy’s doll. If Adjective had not put into Lucy’s head to call -Jane _naughty_ and _unkind_, Jane would not have answered that Lucy was -_cross_ and _disagreeable_. She would most likely have said, ‘I beg -your pardon, I did not mean to do it,’ and they would have been friends -again directly. See how much mischief is caused by talkative, gossiping -Mr. Adjective.” - -“Really, Mr. Parsing,” remarked Adjective, now putting in his word for -the first time, “you have made a long speech to show how mischievous I -am. Pray, have you nothing to say about the good that my kind, loving -words do?” - -“Oh, certainly, my dear sir,” said Serjeant Parsing, suddenly changing -his tone. “When you like any one you are a very good-natured fellow, -and can say all sorts of sweet things. I heard you in Schoolroom-shire -telling Mary that her mamma is her _own_ _dearest_, _kindest_, -_sweetest_ mother--that baby is a _bright_, _bonny_ _little_ -darling--that Fido is a _good_, _faithful_ _old_ doggie--and that home -is the _happiest_ place in the _whole wide_ world. Oh, yes,” continued -Serjeant Parsing, “you can call people good names as well as bad.” - -“I do not call people names,” said Adjective, indignantly. “I -_qualify_ them. I could qualify you, Mr. Parsing, and say you are an -_impertinent_, _rude_----” - -“That will do, Mr. Adjective,” interrupted the Judge. “We understand -what you mean by _qualifying_. But tell us, are your words always -placed _before_ nouns?” - -“Oh, no, my lord,” answered Adjective. “They _can_, almost all of them, -be used before a noun, but they are often used after it, in this way:-- - - The sky is _blue_, - The sun is _bright_, - My words are _true_, - The snow is _white_. - -“You could also say, _blue sky_, _bright sun_, _true words_, _white -snow_, but it does not sound so well, I think. And when a pronoun -stands instead of a noun, and my words qualify it----” - -“Oh, you qualify pronouns as well as nouns, do you?” asked Serjeant -Parsing. - -“I am obliged to do so sometimes,” said Mr. Adjective, rather sulkily. -“I will not have my words used before a pronoun, as they are before a -noun. You can say:-- - - _I_ am _right_, - And _you_ are _wrong_; - _It_ is _late_, - And _we_ are _strong_. - -But you must not say: _right I_, _wrong you_, _late it_, or -_strong we_.” - -“I should think not,” said Serjeant Parsing, laughing. “Then we are -to understand that adjectives are used to qualify nouns and pronouns, -and that they may be used before a noun or after it, but not before a -pronoun.” - -“Quite right, so far,” said Mr. Adjective; “but I can do other things -besides qualifying nouns.” - -“What can you do?” - -“I can tell how many there are of the thing the noun names, _one_, -_two_, _three_, _four_, and so on. And whether the thing is the -_first_, _second_, _third_, or _fourth_, and so on. And whether there -are _some_ things, _many_ things, _few_ things, _more_ things, _no_ -things.” - -“And all these words are adjectives, are they?” - -“Yes,” answered Adjective. “All words that can be put before _thing_ or -_things_ are adjectives.” - -“_A_ thing, _the_ thing,” remarked little Article, looking up with a -cunning smile at Adjective. “_A_ and _the_ are both articles.” - -“_A_ and _the_ don’t count, of course,” said Adjective, impatiently. -“Besides, they were adjectives once, people say, only they got so -worn out, that I let my ragged little cousin Article have them. But -except _a_ and _the_, there is no word that you can put before _thing_ -or _things_ that is not an adjective. A _beautiful thing_, an _ugly -thing_, _bad things_, _good things_, _green things_, _yellow things_, -_large things_, _little things_; and so you can say, _one thing_, _two -things_, _some things_, _any things_; and also, _this thing_, _that -thing_, _these things_, _those things_.” - -“That seems a very easy way of finding out an adjective,” remarked the -Judge. “I hope it is a correct way.” - -“Indeed it is, my lord,” said Adjective, earnestly. “See, I can give -you many more examples. - - A _lovely_, _graceful_, _beautiful_ thing, - A _useful_, _homely_, _dutiful_ thing; - _Foolish_, _childish_, _useless_ things; - _Handsome_, _rich_, and _priceless_ things.” - -“My lord,” said Mr. Noun, coming forward and speaking in a solemn -voice, “I accuse Mr. Adjective of stealing, and wish him to be sent to -prison.” - -“Indeed!” said the Judge; “but he must be tried first, and you must -prove him guilty before I have him punished. What do you say he has -stolen?” - -“My lord, he is constantly stealing my words, and only just now he -used these without my leave, in open court: _love_, _grace_, _beauty_, -_use_, _home_, _duty_.” - -“Enough,” said the Judge. “I certainly heard him use some such words -only just now. Critics,” he called to the policemen, for that is the -name they have in Grammar-land, “seize Mr. Adjective, and keep him safe -until the court meets again, when he shall be tried for stealing.” Then -turning to the people of Schoolroom-shire, the Judge continued, “My -friends, I shall be much obliged if you will look over the following -story, and strike out of it all the words belonging to Mr. Adjective. I -cannot allow them to remain side by side with other words, until it is -proved that Mr. Adjective is not guilty of stealing them.” - -The Judge then rose, and poor Mr. Adjective was led out of the court, -with his hands bound. - -The following is the story which the Judge sent to the people of -Schoolroom-shire. - -THE MAIDEN PRINCE. - -A long, long time ago, there lived in a grey old castle, a widowed -queen, who had one only child, a beautiful bright boy. “My good husband -was killed in the terrible war,” said the timid queen, “and if my dear -son grows up to be a strong man, I fear that he will go to the cruel -wars, too, and be killed. So he shall learn nothing about rough war, -but shall be brought up like a simple maiden.” So she taught him all -maidenly duties, to spin, and to weave, and to sew, and she thought -he was too simple and quiet to wish to go to war; but one day there -came to the great castle gate a noble knight riding a gallant charger. -“Come,” he cried to the young prince, “come, follow me. I ride to fight -with the wicked and strong who are oppressing the weak and the poor.” -Up sprang, in a moment, the fair young boy, flung aside his girlish -work, seized his father’s battered sword, and leaped into the saddle -behind the noble knight. “Farewell, dear mother,” he cried, “no more -girlish work for me. I must be a brave man, as my father was, and -conquer or die in the rightful cause.” Then the foolish queen saw that -it was useless to try to make a daring boy into a timid maiden. - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER VI. - -MR. ADJECTIVE TRIED FOR STEALING. - - -[Illustration: - - ful - like - ly - y - ous - less - en - ern - -CLEVER MR. ADJECTIVE] - -There was great excitement in the court the next day; and when every -one was assembled, except Adjective, the Judge called out: “Bring the -prisoner in;” and poor Adjective was led in between two Critics, with -his hands tied behind him, and placed before the Judge. - -Serjeant Parsing rose, and began to question him. - -“Is your name Adjective?” he said. “It is,” answered Adjective. - -“And you possess all the adjectives in Grammar-land?” - -“I do.” - -“What is an adjective?” - -“A word used to qualify a noun.” - -“What is a noun?” - -“Please, my lord, need I answer that?” asked Adjective. - -“Certainly,” replied the Judge. - -“It is not fair,” said Adjective; “nouns are not my words.” - -“But you must know what a noun is, in order that you may use your -adjectives properly.” - -“Of course I know what a noun is--it is a _name_, the name of anything.” - -“Then do you know the difference between a noun and an adjective?” -asked Serjeant Parsing. - -“Certainly. A _noun_ is the name of a thing. An _adjective_ tells you -something about the thing the noun has named; whether it is large or -small, or what colour it is, or how much there is of it, or whether -there are few things or many, or something of that sort.” - -“Quite so; but can you find out at once, without much thinking, whether -a word is a noun or an adjective?” - -“If you can put an article before a word, then it is a noun,” answered -Adjective; “as, _a_ man, _the_ dog.” - -“Then when I say, ‘Pity the poor,’ of course _poor_ is a noun, is it?” - -“No,” said Adjective, quickly; “_poor_ is my word, I know, for you can -say _poor_ child, a _poor_ thing. ‘Pity the poor’ really means, ‘Pity -the poor people;’ but Mr. Noun is so stingy, that when he thinks the -sentence will be understood without his word, he just leaves it out, -and then people say the noun is _understood_.” - -“Exactly so; but your way of finding out a noun does not answer, you -see, for the first time I try it, you tell me the word I have found is -an adjective.” - -“It always answers unless there happens to be a word understood,” -replied Adjective, “and then it answers if you use your reason; for any -one would know that you are not asked to pity a thing called a _poor_, -but to pity poor people. But it is not fair, my lord,” continued -Adjective, turning to the Judge. “Here am I, a poor prisoner, unjustly -accused of stealing, and Mr. Parsing is trying to puzzle me as much as -he can.” - -“Not at all,” replied Serjeant Parsing. “I only want you to be sure -that you know clearly the difference between a noun and an adjective.” - -“I do,” answered Adjective, “quite clearly.” - -“Well, then, answer this question. What is the word _beauty_?” - -“Beauty?” repeated Adjective, getting rather red; “_beauty_ is a noun.” - -“Yes,” said Serjeant Parsing; “and _grace_, and _home_, and _duty_?” - -“They are all nouns,” answered Adjective, looking uncomfortable. - -“Yes; now another question. What is _beautiful_?” - -“Beautiful?” repeated Adjective, looking _very_ red now; “_beautiful_ -is an adjective.” - -“Very well. Now, Mr. Adjective,” said Serjeant Parsing, “kindly tell me -how you got the adjective _beautiful_?” - -“I made it,” answered Adjective, with his eyes on the ground. - -“How did you make it?” - -“I stuck _ful_ on to _beauty_. When I want to say a thing is full of -beauty I call it _beautiful_.” - -“And how did you get _beauty_, since it belongs to Mr. Noun?” asked -Serjeant Parsing. - -“I took it,” replied Adjective, still looking down. - -“Which means to say that you stole it. It is quite clear that you stole -it, and that you did the same to _grace_, _home_, _duty_, and others, -to make _graceful_, _homely_, _dutiful_, and the rest. My lord, I think -I need say nothing more: the prisoner himself owns that he took these -words; it only remains for you to give him his punishment.” - -The Judge looked very grave, and was beginning to say, “Mr. Adjective, -I am very sorry----” when Serjeant Parsing interrupted him, and said:-- - -“Please, my lord, I am going to take the other side now. Will you order -Mr. Noun to come forward to be questioned?” - -“Certainly,” said the Judge; and Mr. Noun approached. - -“Mr. Noun?” said Serjeant Parsing. - -“The same, sir,” said Mr. Noun; “all nouns belong to me.” - -“You know a noun when you see it?” - -“Of course I know my own words.” - -“And you know an adjective?” - -“Yes; an adjective is a word that tells something about one of my -nouns.” - -“Very good. Now can you tell me whether _happy_ is a noun?” - -“Certainly not. It is an adjective. You can say a happy boy, a happy -thing.” - -“Exactly so. Now will you tell me what _happiness_ is?” - -“Happiness,” repeated Mr. Noun, getting suddenly very red, for he saw -what was coming; “happiness is a noun, it is mine.” - -“Oh!” said Serjeant Parsing; “how did you get it?” - -“I made it.” - -“How?” - -“I joined _happy_ and _ness_ together.” - -“H’m!” said Serjeant Parsing. “I will not ask you where you found such -a silly word as _ness_, but _happy_ you said just now belongs to Mr. -Adjective, so of course you took it from him.” - -Mr. Noun did not answer, but looked down, exceedingly red and -uncomfortable. - -“My lord,” said Serjeant Parsing to the Judge, “need I say any more. -This Mr. Noun, who would have Adjective put in prison for stealing, -has been doing the very same thing himself. _Happiness_, _prettiness_, -_silliness_, _cleverness_, and almost all the words that end in _ness_, -are nouns made from adjectives. If Mr. Noun would give them all up, -I have no doubt Mr. Adjective would then give up his _beautiful_, -_useful_, _graceful_, and other adjectives that are made from nouns.” - -“No, no,” said the Judge; “I will have no giving up. When a word is -once made it is made for good, and instead of blaming those who take -their neighbour’s words to make new ones for themselves, I consider -that they are very much to be praised. Critics, untie Mr. Adjective’s -hands. Mr. Adjective, I am glad to hear you are so clever in making new -words, and I give you full permission to make as many more as you can, -by borrowing either from Mr. Noun or from any other Part-of-Speech. -Have you any other ending to put on besides _ful_?” - -“My lord,” said Adjective, whose hands were now untied, and who was -standing free and upright before the Judge, “my lord, I have a whole -string of tails which I keep ready to make adjectives with. Here are -some of them: _ful_, _like_, _ly_, _y_, _ous_, _less_, _en_, and _ern_; -and this is the way I stick them on: _beautiful_, _ladylike_, _manly_, -_dirty_, _poisonous_, _careless_, _golden_, _western_, and with your -lordship’s kind permission, I will make such words as often as I can.” - -“Do so,” replied the Judge. “And you, Mr. Noun, remember, that you -are to allow Adjective to take your words whenever he requires them, -for you ought to know that words in Grammar-land are not like pennies -in Matter-of-fact-land. _There_, if some one steals a penny from you, -he has it and you have not; but _here_, in Grammar-land, when any one -takes your words to make new ones, it makes him richer, but you are -none the poorer for it. You have _beauty_ still, although Mr. Adjective -has made _beautiful_; and you have _lady_, and _man_, and _gold_, -although Mr. Adjective has made _ladylike_, and _manly_, and _golden_. -You ought to have known this, Mr. Noun, and not to have accused Mr. -Adjective of stealing. Therefore, as a punishment, I require you to -send into Schoolroom-shire a list of nouns that may be made into -adjectives by the addition of some of Mr. Adjective’s tails.” - -The Judge then left the court, and this is the list that Mr. Noun sent -into Schoolroom-shire. - -_Nouns to be made into Adjectives._ - - Truth Lady Child Dirt - Faith Man Baby Wood - Hope Love Fool Fire - - Care Gold North Poison - Sleep Wood East Danger - Sense Silk West Virtue - -_Adjective endings that may be added to Nouns._ - - _ful_ _like_ or _ly_ _ish_ _y_ - _less_ _en_ _ern_ _ous_ (meaning - full of) - -[Illustration] - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER VII. - -THE QUARREL BETWEEN MR. ADJECTIVE AND MR. PRONOUN AND LITTLE -INTERJECTION. - - -[Illustration: - - ADJECTIVE-PRONOUN - A | P] - -It is sad to tell that nearly the first thing Mr. Adjective did when he -was set free was to have a quarrel with Pronoun. - -When the Judge came into court the next day he found them both much -excited. - -“It is mine, I know it is,” said Pronoun. - -“And I know it is mine,” cried Adjective. “I’ll ask the Judge if it is -not.” - -“I’ll ask him, too,” said Pronoun. “My lord,” he continued, coming -forward, “_her_ is mine, and Adjective wants to take it from me. But -when I claimed it in court before, he said nothing about it.” - -“I thought the more,” returned Adjective, “but I supposed that you -would give it up quietly without all this fuss in court.” - -“I would willingly give it up if it were yours,” said Pronoun; “but it -is not.” - -“It is,” cried Adjective, angrily; “I tell you it is.” - -“Silence!” said the Judge, sternly. “Brother Parsing, be kind enough to -question both Adjective and Pronoun, that we may know the cause of this -quarrel, and hear what each has to say for himself.” - -“Certainly, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing. “Adjective, what words -do you claim?” - -“_My_, _thy_, _his_, _her_, _its_, _our_, _your_, and _their_,” replied -Adjective. - -“Well, Mr. Pronoun, tell us how you make them out to be yours.” - -“Nothing is easier,” answered Pronoun. “These words stand instead of -nouns, and therefore they must be pronouns. When you say ‘_my thumb_,’ -my lord, you mean Judge Grammar’s thumb, so _my_ stands instead of -the noun Judge Grammar. And when you say, ‘Little Bo-peep has lost -_her_ sheep,’ you mean _little Bo-peep’s_ sheep, therefore _her_ stands -instead of _little Bo-peep_. So _my_ and _her_ are clearly pronouns; -and _thy_, _his_, _its_, _our_, _your_, _their_, are used in just the -same way, and therefore must be pronouns too.” - -“It would seem so,” said the Judge. “What has Mr. Adjective to say to -that?” - -“I will soon tell you, my lord,” replied Adjective. “You will, of -course, allow that an adjective is a word that may be used before a -noun, to tell something about the thing that the noun names. It has -been said that if you can put thing or things after a word, that word -(not counting _a_ or _the_, of course) is sure to be an adjective; -as, a _good thing_, a _bad thing_, _large things_, _little things_, -and so on. Well, I am sure you can say _my_ thing, _thy_ thing, _his_ -thing, _her_ thing, _its_ thing, _our_ thing, _your_ thing, and _their_ -thing. Therefore, _my_, _thy_, _his_, _her_, _its_, _our_, _your_, and -_their_, must be adjectives.” - -“H’m! It is all very well to say _must_,” remarked the Judge, “but then -Pronoun says they _must_ be pronouns. Are there any more of your words, -Mr. Pronoun, that Adjective claims in the same way?” - -“My lord,” answered Pronoun, “he claims all the words of mine that -may be used before a noun. _This_, _that_, _these_, and _those_, for -instance.” - -“Of course I do,” said Adjective; “for when you say _this_ bird, -_that_ horse, _these_ rabbits, _those_ people; _this_, _that_, _these_, -and _those_ are clearly used with a noun, but do not stand instead of -one.” - -“Ah!” said Pronoun, “but when you say ‘look at _this_,’ ‘take _that_,’ -‘may I have _these_?’ ‘burn _those_;’ _this_, _that_, _these_, and -_those_ are _not_ used _with_ a noun, but clearly stand _instead of_ -one, and therefore they are pronouns.” - -“It seems to me,” said the Judge, half to himself, “that sometimes they -are adjectives, and sometimes they are pronouns.” - -“That is just what I say, my lord,” cried Adjective, “and if you -will allow it, I think I know of a way that will make peace between -us directly. Let us call them _Adjective-Pronouns_, and have them -between us. When they are used, not with a noun, but instead of one, -then Pronoun may have them all to himself; but when they are used like -adjectives, before a noun, then we will have them between us, and call -them _Adjective-Pronouns_.” - -“That seems very fair,” replied the Judge, “and I certainly allow it. -Mr. Pronoun, be kind enough to give us a list of your words, and Mr. -Adjective will point out any that may be used as _Adjective-Pronouns_.” - -So Mr. Pronoun began: “_I_, _thou_, _he_, _she_, _it_, _we_, _you_, -_they_, _mine_, _thine_, _his_, _hers_, _its_, _ours_, _yours_, -_theirs_; _my_, _thy_, _his_, _her_, _its_, _our_, _your_, _their_.” - -“Those last eight are between us,” said Adjective, “for they can all be -used before a noun.” - -“_Myself_, _thyself_, _himself_, _herself_, _itself_, _ourselves_, -_yourselves_, or _yourself_, _themselves_,” said Pronoun, with a little -toss of his head, “those, at least, are all mine, Mr. Adjective.” - -“Continue repeating your words, sir,” said the Judge, sternly; “do not -stop to talk.” - -“_This_, _that_, _these_, _those_,” continued Pronoun. - -“Adjective-pronouns, all four of them,” remarked Mr. Adjective; “we -have shown that already.” - -“_Each_, _either_, _neither_, _one_, _other_,” continued Pronoun. - -“Stop,” said the Judge; “we have not had these words before. You must -give us some sentences to show that they are pronouns.” - -Pronoun replied:-- - - Two sparrows had a fight to-day, - _Each_ wished to take a worm away; - _One_ pulled at it, so did the _other_, - _Neither_ would yield it to his brother. - Had _either_ given up at least, - His brother would have had the feast; - But while they fought a thrush came by, - And with the worm away did fly. - -“There, my lord,” continued Pronoun, “all the words, _each_, _one_, -_other_, _neither_, _either_, stand for sparrow in those lines, and as -sparrow is a noun, they must be pronouns.” - -“They are adjective-pronouns sometimes,” remarked Mr. Adjective, “for -you can say, ‘_each_ boy,’ ‘the _other_ day,’ ‘on _either_ side.’” - -“Certainly,” said the Judge. “Have you any more, Mr. Pronoun?” - -“_Who_, _which_, _what_,” continued Pronoun. - -“You must show that they are pronouns,” said the Judge. - -“‘Here is the man _who_ shot the tiger,’” said Pronoun. “‘Here are two -apples; _which_ do you choose?’ ‘I know _what_ I want.’ _Who_ stands -instead of the _man_, because you could say, ‘Here is the man; the -man shot the tiger.’ _Which_ stands instead of one of the apples, and -_what_ stands instead of the thing that I want, whatever it may be.” - -“Yes,” said Serjeant Parsing. “But if _who_ and _what_ are used to ask -questions, as, ‘_who_ is there?’ ‘_what_ is that?’ then what do _who_ -and _what_ stand instead of?” - -“If you will answer the questions, and tell me who was really there, -and what that really was, then I will tell you what nouns _who_ -and _what_ stand instead of; but if you do not know any answer to -your own questions, then of course I cannot tell you what noun my -little pronouns stand for; I can only tell you they stand instead of -something, and therefore are pronouns.” - -“_Which_ and _what_ are used before nouns sometimes,” cried Adjective: -“‘_which_ way are you going?’ ‘_what_ bell is that?’ therefore they are -adjective-pronouns too.” - -“At any rate,” said Pronoun, haughtily, “_who_ is altogether mine, for -you cannot say, ‘who way,’ ‘who book,’ ‘who man,’ or anything of that -sort.” - -“Hoo! hoo! hoo! ha! ha! ha! he! he! he!” cried a voice among the crowd. -“Old Adjective beaten! hurrah! bravo!” - -Every one in the court looked round to see where such strange sounds -came from. - -“It is Interjection,” said Serjeant Parsing, angrily, making a dive -at the crowd behind him, to try and catch hold of some one in it. - -“Critics,” cried the Judge, “seize that fellow, and bring him here.” - -But that was more easily said than done, for little Interjection was -as quick and active as any street boy in London. He dodged in and out -amongst the other Parts-of-Speech, and was here, there, and everywhere, -till at last he tumbled up against Serjeant Parsing, who held him fast -till the Critics came up. He is such an odd little creature, that you -could hardly tell what he is like. One moment he is crying bitterly, -and the next he is in fits of laughter; when you look at him again he -is perhaps shrieking for fear, and in another minute he is standing on -his head for joy. He is so fond of standing on his head, that people -say he had his portrait taken so once (!), and that is why they put a -note of exclamation (!) after his words; but that is all nonsense, of -course. - -“Interjection!” said the Judge, sternly, “you are the last of all the -Parts-of-Speech, and have no business to interrupt the court now. Let -me not hear you again until your turn comes.” - -“Alas! alas!” cried Interjection, wringing his hands. “Mr. Parsing -says I am only a poor little fellow thrown in (that is what my name -interjection means, _thrown in_), to express surprise or fear, joy or -sorrow. When folks do not know what to say next, one of my little words -pops in, and poor Mr. Parsing is at his wit’s end to know what to do -with it, ah! ah! Off! off!” he cried, changing his tone, and suddenly -jerking himself out of the policeman’s hold. “Away! away!” he shouted, -springing to the door; and before they could catch him he was indeed -away, and they heard his “ha! ha! ha!” die away in the distance. - -Serjeant Parsing then turned to the Schoolroom-shire folks, and -asked them to mark off on their slates places for Mr. Noun, Pronoun, -Adjective, and little Article, and a corner somewhere for tiresome -Interjection; and while he read to them, to put down a stroke in the -right place for each word that they knew. “And when you come to an -adjective-pronoun used _with_ a noun,” continued Serjeant Parsing, “put -a stroke on the line that divides Adjective’s ground from Pronoun’s. -That will be like a little man sitting astride on the wall, with one -leg for Pronoun to pull and one for Adjective. Of course if it is used -_instead_ of a noun, and _not_ with one, then Mr. Pronoun must have the -stroke all to himself. Whichever Part-of-Speech gets the most strokes -gains the game.” - -This is what Serjeant Parsing read. - -“Alas! alas! that naughty boy,” said Harry’s mother, as she waited for -him to come back from school. “He must have gone to play with the other -boys at the big pond, and he will certainly fall in, for the boys are -sure to try the ice, and it is too thin to bear them yet. Oh! my poor, -dear boy! what shall I do? If he falls into the black, cold water, he -will certainly be drowned. My darling Harry! ah! why does he not come -home? If I had any one to send.... Why, there he is, I declare, with -his hands full of oranges. Oh! the naughty boy! I will give him a great -scolding. To give me a fright, and keep me waiting while he was buying -oranges! Harry, you are a naughty, careless, tiresome---- What! kissing -me, you little rogue, to stop my mouth. There! there! do not pull down -my hair, and never give your poor mother such a fright again; and now -come in and see the lovely Christmas-box I have for you.” - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER VIII. - -DR. VERB. - - -[Illustration: VERBS ARE OF 3 KINDS ACTIVE·PASSIVE & NEUTER--LINDLEY -MURRAY] - -The next Part-of-Speech called up before Judge Grammar, to give an -account of himself, was Dr. Verb. - -He came bustling up with an air of great importance. - -“My lord, my name is Verb. I am called Verb because _verb_ means -_word_, and the verb is the most important word, _the_ word, in fact, -in every sentence.” - -“The _most important word_!” cried Mr. Noun, interrupting him. “My -lord, he says the verb is the most important word in every sentence! -Why, Dr. Verb, you know that _you_ cannot give the name of a single -thing, for all names are nouns, and belong to me. The _verb_ the most -important word, indeed, when I have the name of everything!” - -“I know that,” answered Dr. Verb, “I know very well that when people -want to name a thing they must use a noun. But do you suppose that when -they have simply named a thing they have made a sentence? Not a bit of -it. To make a sentence you must tell something about the thing that you -have named; you must say whether it _is_ or _has_ or _does_ anything, -as: ‘Ice _is_ cold,’ ‘Puss _has_ a tail,’ ‘Blackbirds _sing_.’ _Is_, -_has_, _sing_, are verbs, and so are all words that speak of _being_, -_having_, or _doing_, and without some such word you cannot make a -sentence.” - -“You think so, Dr. Verb,” said the Judge, “but I should like it to be -proved. Brother Parsing, just call some of the other Parts-of-Speech -forward, and let them try to make a sentence without Dr. Verb.” - -“I will, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing. “Noun, Adjective, and -Article, be kind enough to step forward, and each of you give me a -word.” - -“_Sun_,” said Mr. Noun. - -“_Bright_,” said Adjective. - -“_The_,” said little Article. - -“Very good,” said Serjeant Parsing, “now I will put them together; -‘_sun bright the_;’ ‘_the bright sun_;’ ‘_the sun bright_.’ They do not -seem to make quite a proper sentence, my lord, any way.” - -“Of course not,” said Dr. Verb, interrupting; “for when you say ‘_the -bright sun_,’ which sounds the best of the three ways, you still have -not made a sentence, for you have not said whether the bright sun is -shining, or is not shining, or whether you can see it, or what it does. -‘_The sun bright_’ of course is nonsense; but say the sun _is_ bright, -and then you tell a fact about the sun, and you have made a sentence -fit to set before the king.” - -“You had better try Mr. Noun again, Brother Parsing,” said Judge -Grammar. “Perhaps he can give you a more convenient word.” - -Serjeant Parsing turned again to Mr. Noun, and asked for another word. - -“_Hippopotamus_,” answered Mr. Noun. Mr. Adjective gave _fat_. - -“Now, little Article, give me _a_,” said Serjeant Parsing, “and I will -put them together. ‘_Hippopotamus fat a_;’ ‘_a fat hippopotamus_;’ ‘_a -hippopotamus fat_.’ H’m! it sounds odd.” - -“‘_A fat hippopotamus_’ does not sound wrong,” put in Mr. Noun. - -“Not wrong, of course,” answered Dr. Verb. “You may mention a fat -hippopotamus, if you like, or any other animal, but unless you tell -something about it you have not made a sentence. Say that it _is_, or -_has_, or _did_ something, if you want to make a sentence; like ‘a -fat hippopotamus is here;’ or ‘a hippopotamus has a fat body;’ or, ‘a -hippopotamus ate me up,’ or, ‘swam away,’ or something of that sort. -Then you will have some famous sentences, but you will have had to use -verbs to make them, for _is_, _has_, _ate_, _swam_, are all verbs, for -they are all words that speak of _being_, _having_, or _doing_.” - -“How can we always find out if a word is a verb?” asked Serjeant -Parsing. - -“It is sure to be a verb if you can put a little _to_ before it,” -answered Dr. Verb; “_to be_, _to have_, _to do_, _to eat_, _to drink_, -_to swim_, _to fly_, _to speak_, _to think_, _to run_, _to dance_, _to -play_, _to sing_, _to sleep_, _to wake_, _to laugh_, _to cry_, _to -call_, _to fall_;” and Dr. Verb stopped, quite out of breath. - -“That sounds very easy,” said Serjeant Parsing. “Let me try it with the -words that you said were verbs; _to is_, _to has_, _to ate_, _to swam_.” - -“Stop, stop,” cried Dr. Verb; “not like that. You must not put _to_ -before any part of the verb you like. _Is_ is part of the verb _to be_, -_has_ is part of the verb _to have_.” - -“_Is_, part of the verb _to be_?” said Serjeant Parsing. “What do you -mean? why, the two words have not a single letter alike.” - -“True; but still they mean the same sort of thing. When a countryman -says ‘he _be_ a brave lad,’ he means the same thing as ‘he _is_ a -brave lad;’ or when he says, ‘I _be_ too tired,’ he means, ‘I _am_ -too tired.’ _Is_ and _am_ ought to be used according to the laws of -Grammar-land instead of _be_, but as they both express something about -_being_ they are said to be parts of the verb _to be_. In the same way -_has_ is part of the verb _to have_, _ate_ is part of the verb _to -eat_, and _swam_ is part of the verb _to swim_.” - -“That is very learned, I daresay,” said Serjeant Parsing, “but will you -kindly tell us, Dr. Verb, how we are to guess that _am_, or any other -word that has neither a _b_ nor an _e_ in it, is part of the verb _to -be_?” - -“You cannot _guess_, of course,” retorted Dr. Verb, sharply. “I never -said you were to guess. You must use your reason, to find out whether -they have the same sort of meaning. Or if you like it better, learn the -song that Mr. Pronoun and I have made up, to bring in all the different -parts of the verb.” - -“A song?” said Judge Grammar, in surprise. “I did not know that you -could sing, Dr. Verb; but let us hear your song, by all means.” - -“If you will not interrupt me, my lord, I will give you three verses of -it,” answered Dr. Verb. - -“No, we will not interrupt,” said the Judge. - -So Dr. Verb began:-- - -THE SONG OF THE VERB “TO BE.” - -_Present Tense._ - - I am - Thou art - He is - We are - You are - They are - -_Past Tense._ - - I was - Thou wast - He was - We were - You were - They were - -_Future Tense._ - - I shall be - Thou wilt be - He will be - We shall be - You will be - They will be - -When he had finished, every one burst out laughing. - -“And you call that singing, do you, Dr. Verb?” said the Judge. - -“Dr. Syntax, there, calls it _conjugating_, I believe,” said Dr. Verb; -“but I think _singing_ is a prettier and easier name for it.” - -“But it is not a song at all,” said the Judge, nearly laughing again; -“there is no tune in it, and no rhyme.” - -“It is the best that Pronoun and I could make alone,” said Dr. -Verb, angrily. “But it can be easily made to rhyme if the other -Parts-of-Speech will help. Listen. - -PRESENT TENSE. - - _I am_ an Englishman merry and bold, - _Thou art_ a foreigner out in the cold, - _He is_ a beggar-man hungry and old; - _We are_ not happy to see you out there, - _You are_ too snug and warm ever to care, - _They are_ at home with us now, I declare.” - -“That will do,” interrupted the Judge; “we do not want to hear any more -to-day. Another day I shall want to know what you mean by calling the -verses _Present Tense_, _Past Tense_, and _Future Tense_--why you have -just six of your words in each tense,--and whether other verbs can be -_conjugated_ in the same way.” - -“I can answer at once that they can, my lord,” said Dr. Verb. “Indeed, -very few verbs change as much as the verb _to be_, so that they are all -easier to _conjugate_; as, _I have_, _thou hast_, _he has_; _we have_, -_you have_, _they have_. _I live_, _thou livest_, _he lives_; _we -live_, _you live_, _they live_.” - -“Enough for to-day, Dr. Verb,” interrupted the Judge once more; “we -will hear about them next time. Meanwhile, as we shall have further -examination of this verb _to be_, I should like my friends in -Schoolroom-shire to make a copy of it, to bring with them. I shall also -request them to find out all the verbs in the following verses:-- - - “Sit to your task,” a father said, - “Nor play nor trifle, laugh nor talk, - And when your lesson well is read, - You all shall have a pleasant walk.” - He left the room, the boys sat still, - Each gravely bent upon his task, - But soon the youngest, little Will, - Of fun and nonsense chose to ask. - “My ball is lost,” the prattler cried, - “Have either of you seen my ball?” - “Pray mind your book,” young Charles replied. - “Your noisy words disturb us all.” - -The court then rose. - -[Illustration] - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER IX. - -DR. VERB’S THREE TENSES AND NUMBER AND PERSON. - - -[Illustration: TENSE OR TIME - - TIME - FUTURE - PAST - PRESENT] - -“Now, Dr. Verb,” said Judge Grammar, the next day, “we have well -examined this that you call your ‘Song of the verb To be.’” - -“Conjugation, my lord, if you like,” said Dr. Verb, bowing. - -“I _do_ like, certainly,” replied the Judge. “Conjugation is a much -better word than _song_--longer and more respectable, and in every way -more suited to Grammar-land. Con-ju-ga-tion--this conjugation of the -verb ‘to be.’ We require you to explain it.” - -“With pleasure, my lord. You see, it is divided into three verses.” - -“Verses!” exclaimed Serjeant Parsing. “You know it is not to be called -a song, Dr. Verb.” - -“Quite so, quite so,” said Dr. Verb, bowing again. “Well, Tenses, then. -It is divided into three tenses, the Present Tense, the Past Tense, -and the Future Tense, which mean the present time, the past time, and -the future time; and your lordship knows that all time must be either -present time, or past time, or future time. Just as when you are -reading a book. There is the part you have read, that is the past; the -part you are going to read, that is the future; and the part you are -reading now, that is the present.” - -“We understand,” said Judge Grammar; “but pray explain why you divide -your _verbs_ into these three parts.” - -“To show how my verbs change when they have to mark the present, past, -or future time. You see, the verb ‘to be’ takes _am_ for the present, -_was_ for the past, and adds on _will_ or _shall_ for the future. _I -am_ in the present time talking to your lordship. I _was_ in the past -time talking to your lordship. I _shall be_ in the future time talking -to your lordship.” - -“Indeed, I hope not,” cried the Judge, putting his hands to his ears. -“Pray do not go on forever talking to me. I have heard quite enough -of your voice already. Step back, and allow Mr. Pronoun to take your -place, and explain the rest of the conjugation to us.” - -“Allow me to say one thing more,” said Dr. Verb. “Please, Mr. Parsing, -whenever you see a _will_ or _shall_, or any other little verb put in -to show the time, will you remember that it is only a little helping -verb, used to make up the tense of some other verb, and therefore to be -counted in with that, and not taken alone.” - -“Just give an example of what you mean,” said Serjeant Parsing; “I do -not quite understand.” - -“I mean to say that when you see ‘he will go,’ you must take _will -go_ as part of the verb _to go_; and when you see _am coming_, _was -dancing_, _has eaten_, _had fought_, you must take them as parts of -the verbs to come, to dance, to eat, to fight. The first words, _am_, -_was_, _has_, _had_, are very good and respectable words by themselves, -of course; but when they are used with another verb, they are never -offended if you just take them as part of that other verb.” - -“Thank you. I will remember,” said Serjeant Parsing, laughing. “Now -please to stand back, and allow Mr. Pronoun to answer.--Mr. Pronoun, -pray why do you use these particular six words, _I_, _thou_, _he_, -_we_, _you_, and _they_, to make up Dr. Verb’s tenses?” - -“I use _I_ and _we_,” answered Pronoun, “to stand for the first person; -_thou_ and _you_ to stand for the second person; and _he_ and _they_ to -stand for the third person.” - -“What do you mean by the first person?” asked Serjeant Parsing. - -“My lord,” answered Mr. Pronoun, turning to Judge Grammar, “may I ask -you who is the first person in Grammar-land?” - -“_I_ am, of course,” answered the Judge. - -“That is what I find all my friends answer,” said Pronoun. “When I ask -them who is the most important, the first person in the world to them, -they say _I_ am; so my little _I_ stands for the person who is speaking -about himself, and I call it the _first_ person.” - -“Then who is the _second_ person?” asked the Judge. - -“_You_ are, my lord,” answered Pronoun, bowing politely. - -“You said just now that _I_ was the _first_ person,” said the Judge. - -“Yes, my lord,” replied Mr. Pronoun, putting his hand on his breast; -“_I_ first, and _you_ second.” - -“But it ought to be _I_ first, and _you_ second,” said the Judge, -angrily. - -“That is exactly what I said, my lord,” repeated Pronoun. “_I_ first, -and _you_ second.” - -The Judge was getting so angry, that Pronoun’s friends began to -tremble for his head, when suddenly Dr. Syntax rose and said: “The -first person is always the person speaking, and the second is the -person spoken to. Let every one in the court say, ‘_I_ am the first,’ -and we shall all be right, and all satisfied.” - -“_I_ first, _we_ first,” they all shouted; “and _you_, _you_, _you_, -only the second.” - -The noise was tremendous, and the Judge, finding himself only one -against a number, thought he had better turn the subject; and clapping -his hands loudly, to call for silence, he called out: - -“But if we are all firsts and seconds, pray where is the third person -to go?” - -“Oh, the third person,” said Pronoun, contemptuously, “is only the one -we are talking about. He may not be here, so it cannot matter if we -call him only the third person.” - -“And what is the use of your having pronouns to stand for all these -three persons in Dr. Verb’s tenses?” asked Serjeant Parsing. - -“Dr. Verb and I agree together to alter our words according to the -person they represent,” said Mr. Pronoun. “When my pronoun is in the -first person, Dr. Verb has to make his verb in the first person too. He -has to say _am_ when I have put _I_, and _are_ when I have put _we_. _I -is_, or _we art_, would make Dr. Syntax there very angry.” - -“And he would be rightly angry,” replied the Judge. “You know that very -well.” - -“Oh, I am not complaining, my lord,” answered Pronoun; “I was merely -stating a fact. Of course I am rather pleased than otherwise that Dr. -Verb should have to alter his words to make them agree with mine. -My pronouns show the person (that is why, you know, they are called -personal pronouns), and then Dr. Verb has to make his words agree with -them.” - -“Very fine!” remarked Serjeant Parsing, “But tell us, Mr. Pronoun, -why, when there are only three different persons, you should have six -different pronouns in each tense?” - -“Three of them are for the singular number, standing for only one--_I_, -_thou_, _he_,” replied Pronoun; “and the other three are for the plural -number, standing for as many as you like--_we_, _you_, and _they_.” - -“Singular number only one, _I_, _thou_, _he_; plural number more than -one, _we_, _you_, _they_;--that is it, is it not, Mr. Pronoun?” asked -Serjeant Parsing. - -“Yes, sir,” replied Pronoun, “that is it exactly; I could not have -explained it better myself. And whatever number the pronoun is, that -the verb must be also.” - -“You mean that when the pronoun only stands for one thing or person, -then both it and the verb that comes after it are said to be in the -singular number: is it not so?” said Serjeant Parsing. - -“Quite so, Mr. Parsing,” said Pronoun, delighted; “the verb has to -agree with the pronoun in number, just as it has to do in person. If my -pronoun stands for only one, then it and the verb are called singular -number; but if my pronoun stands for more than one thing, then it and -the verb are said to be in the plural number. You quite understand me, -I see, my dear Mr. Parsing, and I am sure you will take care to see -that the verb always agrees with me in number and person.” - -“Whenever it is proper that it should,” replied Serjeant Parsing, -gravely. - -“But it ought always to agree with my words when we are conjugating a -verb together,” said Pronoun, eagerly; “that is the very reason why it -is useful to conjugate verbs. In every tense you have the first person, -second person, and third person in the singular number; and the first -person, second person, and third person in the plural number; and then -you see how the verb alters each time to agree with the pronoun.” - -“It does not alter every time,” put in Dr. Verb; “in some tenses it -hardly alters at all. Just listen,--‘I had, thou hadst, he had, we -had, you had, they had; I lived, thou livedst, he lived, we lived, you -lived, they lived; I sang, thou sangest, he sang, we sang, you sang, -they sang; I rang, thou rangest, he rang, we rang, you rang, they -rang.’” - -“That will do, that will do, Dr. Verb,” cried the Judge. “We have had -your talking in the past tense, we do not want it in the present tense, -and if we should happen to require it in the future tense, we will let -you know another time. Instead of talking here, you had much better -go to Schoolroom-shire, and help the people there to write out the -present, past, and future tenses of the verbs you have mentioned--_to -have_, _to live_, _to sing_, _to ring_; and show them how the words -alter, not only to mark the different times, but to agree with Mr. -Pronoun’s words in number and person.” - -“I shall be most happy, my lord,” said Dr. Verb; “but Mr. Pronoun must -come too, to help me.” - -“With great pleasure, my dear Doctor,” said Mr. Pronoun, gaily: “there -is no one in Grammar-land I can work with so easily as you, because you -agree with me so beautifully.” - -Then, bowing to the Judge, he and Dr. Verb walked out of the court, -arm-in-arm, humming the present tense of the verb _to be_, and the -Schoolroom-shire people, with their help, easily wrote out the four -verbs mentioned,--_to have_, _to live_, _to sing_, and _to ring_. - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER X. - -SERJEANT PARSING IN SCHOOLROOM-SHIRE AGAIN. - - -[Illustration: A · GOOD ♥ IS · BETTER THAN · RICHES] - -Before the court met again, Serjeant Parsing paid another visit to -Schoolroom-shire. - -“My dear young friends,” he said, “will you kindly get your slates, -and divide them into four parts, writing at the top of each part, the -name of Mr. Noun, Mr. Pronoun, Mr. Adjective, and Dr. Verb. Then cut -off two corners somewhere, for little ragged Article and Interjection. -Then listen to the following story, and when any word that you know -is read out, give a mark to the Part-of-Speech to whom it belongs. If -you come to an adjective-pronoun, of course you must put a little man -astride between Mr. Pronoun’s ground and Mr. Adjective’s; and whenever -you come to a verb, please to say whether it is in the present, past, -or future tense. When you have done, we will count up, and see which -Part-of-Speech has gained the most marks. - -“This is the story:-- - -“THE TWO NEIGHBOURS. - -“A man lived by his labour; and as he had strong arms and a brave -heart, he supported, easily, his wife, his little children, and himself. - -“But a famine came upon the land, and work failed. - -“The man spent all the money which he had saved, until he had not a -penny to buy food for his children. - -“Then he went to a rich neighbour, and said: ‘My little children are -crying for food, and I have no bread to give them. Help me.’ - -“And the rich man said:-- - -“‘I am a just man; I always pay my debts; but I owe you no money. Go! I -cannot give you charity.’ - -“Then the poor man went to another neighbour, almost as poor as himself. - -“‘Give me food for my little children,’ he said. - -“‘Brother,’ said the poorer neighbour, ‘we have not much ourselves, but -you shall share with us as long as a crust of bread remains.’ - -“Then they divided between them the little food that was left, and that -food lasted until the hard times had passed.” - -[Illustration] - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER XI. - -THE NOMINATIVE CASE. - - -[Illustration: THE NOMINATIVE CASE - -THE·STAG·RUNS] - -The next day, Dr. Verb came bustling into the court, looking very -cross, and calling out loudly for justice. - -“What is the matter?” asked the Judge; “state your case quietly.” - -“It is not _my_ case, it is Pronoun’s case, that is the matter,” -answered Dr. Verb; “though I do not say it is his fault. We should get -on very well if people would only mind their own business.” - -“If you will not tell me the state of the case clearly, I cannot help -you,” said the Judge. - -“Well, my lord, if you will listen for a minute, I will try to -explain it, so that every one can understand. As you know very well, -I am constantly agreeing with Mr. Pronoun. I showed you how I alter -to suit his number and person, and it is only fair that he should -alter sometimes to suit me. I only agree with him when he is in the -‘Nominative Case.’” - -At the words “Nominative Case” there was a real cry of horror from -nearly every one in court. You might have thought they had all turned -into interjections, they made such a fuss. - -“Nominative Case!” cried Noun; “shame, shame!” - -“Shameful! awful! shocking!” cried Adjective. - -“Fie! fie! fie!” cried Interjection, and turned three times over head -and heels. - -“Pray do not use such words, Dr. Verb,” said Judge Grammar, “but tell -us what you mean.” - -“Really, my lord,” said Dr. Verb, “I did not mean any harm. Nominative -is not such a _very_ long word, that people should make such a fuss -about it. I am sure the ladies and gentlemen of the jury will not be -angry at my using it.” - -“That depends on how you explain it,” said the Judge; “What does it -mean?” - -“It means the person or thing that _is_ or _does_ whatever my verb says -about him. _The cat purrs_. It is the _cat_ that does what the verb -mentions. You have only to put ‘who’ before the verb in any sentence, -and the answer will give you the Nominative. ‘Who purrs?’ The answer is -the _cat_, so _cat_ is the nominative to the verb _purrs_. That is the -way that _I_ find out whom I am to make my verb agree with.” - -“Is that _your_ way, Brother Parsing?” asked the Judge. - -“Yes, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing, “that is my way, and -therefore, of course, it is the best way. My way is always the best -way. Now there is a sentence all ready for you: _My way is always the -best way._ I’ll find the nominative before you can dot an _i_. ‘_What_ -is always the best way?’ Answer, _my way_ is always the best way;--so -_my way_ is the Nominative.” - -“But you asked ‘what?’ not ‘who?’ there, Brother Parsing,” remarked the -Judge. - -“Because _way_ is a thing, not a person, my lord. When we are talking -of a thing, then we ask ‘what?’ instead of ‘who?’ If you said ‘the -pudding is boiling in the pot,’ I should say ‘_what_ is boiling?’ -not ‘_who_ is boiling?’ for I should hope you would not be boiling -a _person_ in a pot, unless you were the giant in Jack and the -Beanstalk.” - -“Fi! fo! fum!” said Interjection, standing on his head, and clapping -his heels together. - -“Silence, sir!” cried the Judge. “Brother Parsing, please not to talk -about giants till we have done with the Nominative Case. Has any -gentleman anything more to explain about it?” - -“Please, my lord,” said Pronoun, “Dr. Verb complains that he has to -agree with me when I am in the Nominative Case. But he has to agree -with Mr. Noun just as much. It is no matter what part of speech stands -as the Nominative in a sentence, Dr. Verb must agree with it; so he -need not grumble at me more than at any one else.” - -“I am not grumbling at you----,” Dr. Verb began. - -“Wait a minute, Dr. Verb,” interrupted the Judge; “let us first fully -understand this case. You say there is a verb in every sentence?” - -“Certainly, my lord,” said Verb. - -“And there is a Nominative in every sentence?” - -“Exactly so, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing. - -“And this Nominative may be a noun or a pronoun?” continued the Judge. - -“It may, my lord,” chimed in both Mr. Noun and Mr. Pronoun. - -“And this verb must agree with this Nominative, whether it likes or -not?” asked the Judge. - -At that question Dr. Syntax suddenly started up like a jack-in-the-box, -and standing bolt upright, said, “A verb must agree with its Nominative -case in number and person. A verb must agree with its Nominative case -in number and person;” and then sank down again. - -“Ah!” said the Judge. “Very good. So you see, Dr. Verb, when you have -a sentence like ‘ducks swim in ponds,’ you are first to find your own -word swim, then to put _who_ or _what_ before it--‘who swim?’ or ‘what -swim?’ The answer will be _ducks_, the Nominative. Then you are to -be sure that the verb agrees with it. You must say ‘ducks swim,’ not -‘ducks swims;’ and as ducks is the third person and plural number, swim -will be third person and plural number too.” - -“Please, my lord,” said Pronoun, “when I am Nominative you need very -seldom take the trouble to ask any question to find out the Nominative, -for most of my words show at once what they are in. _I_, _thou_, _he_, -_she_, _we_, and _they_ will never allow themselves to be used except -as Nominatives. They were born Nominatives, they say, and will not -degrade themselves by being anything else. They are rather angry with -_you_ for letting people use _him_ in any way they like, but he is a -good-natured little fellow, and does not mind any more about the case -than he does about being called singular when he is really plural. -But _I_, _thou_, _he_, _she_, _we_, and _they_, are exceedingly -particular, and always are and will be Nominatives, so you need not ask -any question when you see one of them in a sentence.” - -“You may just as well make it a rule to ask ‘who?’ or ‘what?’ in every -sentence, to find the Nominative,” said Serjeant Parsing. “It is such -an easy way of finding the case that a baby in arms could understand -it.” - -“Tut! tut! tut! tut!” laughed Interjection again. - -“Oh! be quiet, do!” said Serjeant Parsing; “and, my lord, if the ladies -and gentlemen of Schoolroom-shire like to find out the Nominatives in -these verses----” - -“Yes,” said the Judge; “hand them up, brother. No, do not begin again, -Dr. Verb; no more complaints to-day. And remember, friends, that in -these lines every verb must have a Nominative, unless there is a -little _to_ before the verb. Then it has none--it does not agree with -anything. And remember, too, that every noun or pronoun that is in the -Nominative case is to get an extra mark on your slates. I wish you -good-morning, gentlemen.” - -So saying, the Judge rose. The verses were handed to the people of -Schoolroom-shire, and the court was cleared. - -SERJEANT PARSING’S VERSES. - - The hen guards well her little chicks, - The useful cow is meek; - The beaver builds with mud and sticks, - The lapwing loves to squeak. - - In Germany they hunt the boar, - The bee brings honey home; - The ant lays up a winter store, - The bear loves honeycomb. - - I lost my poor little doll, dears, - As I played on the heath one day; - And I cried for her more than a week, dears, - But I never could find where she lay. - - The maidens laughed, the children played, - The boys cut many capers, - While aunt was lecturing the maid, - And uncle read the papers. - -[Illustration] - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER XII. - -ADVERB. - - -[Illustration: LUCY READS VERY OFTEN - -ADVERB] - -“Now Dr. Verb,” said Judge Grammar, next day, “I am ready to hear what -is your great complaint against Pronoun.” - -“Why, my lord, when he is in the Objective Case----” - -“I object, I object!” exclaimed the Judge, while a general murmur of -disapproval ran through the court. “No, no, we have had enough with the -Nominative Case; we will not have another case brought in. You ought -to be ashamed of yourself, sir, to keep us listening to your nonsense -about an Objective case, while your devoted friend Adverb is waiting to -be heard. Sit down, and let Adverb speak.” - -“Devoted friend!” muttered Dr. Verb, as he obeyed. “I am sure I often -wish he would leave me alone. He sticks on to me so tight sometimes, -that we look like one instead of two, and he is a good weight to carry. -Besides, he is always teasing by asking _why_, and _when_, and _how_ -everything is done. Friend, indeed!” - -But Adverb did not hear what Dr. Verb was muttering. He came forward, -bowing politely, and rubbing his hands together, as if he were washing -them. - -“_Very much_ obliged, indeed,” he said, smoothly; “_very_ kind of my -friend Dr. Verb to give way to me! _So_ like him!” - -“You seem to be fonder of him than he is of you,” remarked the Judge. -“Pray, why do you follow him so closely?” - -“I like to hear what he says, and to point out to others _how -exceedingly well_ he speaks,” answered Adverb. - -“He is always exaggerating my words,” grumbled Dr. Verb. “If I say I -like anything, Adverb puts in _very much indeed_ or _extremely well_, -or some such silly words; or, if he is in a bad temper, then he flatly -contradicts me, and says, _no_, or _not_, or _never_. If I say _will_, -he adds _not_, and makes it _will not_; if I say _can_, he makes it -_cannot_, even sticking his word on to mine as if it were part of it. -Sometimes he does worse. He actually dares to alter my word after he -has stuck his tail on to it, and so he makes _will not_ into _won’t_, -_cannot_ into _can’t_, _shall not_ into _sha’n’t_, and so on. The -_wo’_, and _ca’_, and _sha’_, is all he has left me, and the _n’t_ is -his.” - -“Has he always treated you in this way?” asked the Judge. - -“As long as I can remember, my lord,” answered Dr. Verb. “That is why, -when we were at school together, the boys called him _Adverb_, because -he was always _adding_ his words on to mine. And he has kept the name -ever since.” - -“Your lordship must remember,” remarked Adverb, in a mild tone, still -rubbing his hands very smoothly together, “that Dr. Verb is _rather_ -out of temper this morning, and is, _perhaps_, _not quite_ just. For -_indeed_ it is a fact that I make his words _much more_ useful than -they _otherwise_ would be. Besides, I treat Mr. Adjective in _much_ the -same way, and he does not complain.” - -“It is quite true,” remarked Adjective, coming forward, delighted to -get a chance of using his tongue; “it is quite true that Adverb has -his word to say about me, just as much as about Dr. Verb. He is always -putting _very_, _quite_, _more_, _most_, and words of that sort, before -my adjectives, and exaggerating them: as, _very_ beautiful, _quite_ -charming, _more_ obstinate, _most_ provoking, and I do not complain of -him for that. But one thing I do complain of, my lord, and that is, -that Adverb will take my words, right good adjectives, stick a _ly_ on -to them, and call them his adverbs. For instance, he takes _bright_, -puts _ly_ to it, and makes it _brightly_; he takes _bad_, and makes -it _badly_; _nice_, and makes it _nicely_; _beautiful_, and makes it -_beautifully_.” - -Judge Grammar at this held up his forefinger, and solemnly shook his -head, till he nearly shook his wig off. - -“Mr. Adjective, Mr. Adjective!” he said, “I am surprised at you. You -complain of Adverb for doing the very thing that you do yourself. We -all know that you keep your pockets full of tails ready to stick on to -your neighbours’ words--_ful_, _ous_, _able_, _like_, _ly_, and plenty -more, and you use them as often as you can with other people’s words. -But when Adverb uses his one little _ly_ with _your_ words, then you -are up in arms directly. And yet you know very well that according to -the laws of Grammar-land every Part-of-Speech may make as many new -words out of old ones as he likes, and is to be praised, not blamed, -for it. Adverb may put his _ly_ on to as many of your words as he can, -and you have no right to find fault. I wonder at both you and Dr. Verb. -You ought to agree with Adverb better.” - -“We none of us agree with him,” remarked Pronoun, “nor he with us.” - -“He certainly has no number, or person, or case,” replied the Judge; -“but he is none the worse for that. He gives Serjeant Parsing less -trouble than some of you. What did you say about asking questions, -Adverb?” - -“I teach the game of _how_, _when_, and _where_,” replied Adverb; -“_how_, _when_, and _where_, are all my words, and so are the answers -to them. - - _How_ do you like it? pray you tell? - _Not too much_, _extremely well_. - _When_ do you like it, tell me _when_? - _To-day_, _to-morrow_, _now_, and _then_. - _Where_ do you like it, answer fair? - _Here_ and _there_ and _everywhere_. - -All these words that answer _how_, _when_, and _where_, are mine,” -continued Adverb, “and so are the forfeit words _yes_, _no_, or _nay_.” - -“Ah! but _black_, _white_, and _grey_ are mine,” said Adjective, -interrupting; “and please, your lordship, you were mistaken in saying -that Adverb has only one tail, _ly_, to put on to other people’s words. -What do you think of _upwards_, _downwards_, _homeward_, _forward_?” - -“Yes, they are certainly adverbs,” said the Judge, “and you might say -that _wards_ and _ward_ are the tails he has added on to _up_, _down_, -_home_, _for_; but these words are not yours, Mr. Adjective, so you -have no right to interfere.” - -“Well, my lord,” replied Adjective, “at any rate I have a right to -speak about _once_, _twice_, _thrice_, for Adverb has stolen them from -my _one_, _two_, _three_.” - -“_Once_, _twice_, _thrice_,” repeated the Judge; “is that all?” - -“He has not got a word for four times,” answered Adjective; “_once_, -_twice_, _thrice_, and _away_, is all that he can say.” - -“Then I think,” said the Judge, “that you ought to be ashamed to grudge -them to him, when you have _one_, _two_, _three_, and as many more -as you can count; besides _first_, _second_, _third_, _fourth_, and -all that list. I do not like such greedy ways, and as a punishment, I -order you to hand up a list of adjectives to be turned into adverbs. -Our friends may take them to Schoolroom-shire and put a _ly_ to each -of them; then they will be adverbs, and will answer to one of Adverb’s -questions, _how_, _when_, or _where_.” - -This is the list Mr. Adjective made out. - - quick - bright - soft - strong - distinct - clear - neat - sharp - sudden - late - punctual - regular - sly - cunning - false - true - pretty - dainty - funny - free - happy - awful - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER XIII. - -PREPOSITION. - - -[Illustration: UP A LADDER - -DOWN THE HILL - -PREPOSITIONS·] - -“_To_, _from_, _of_, _for_, _over_, _under_, _on_, _near_, _at_, _by_, -_in_, _among_, _before_, _behind_, _up_, _down_---- Pray, who is the -owner of all these little creatures?” said Judge Grammar, the next day. -“Mr. Noun, are they yours?” - -“No, indeed, my lord,” answered Mr. Noun, “they are not the names of -any one or anything that I ever heard of.” - -“Dr. Verb, are they yours?” - -“I should not object to having them, my lord,” answered Dr. Verb, “if -I could do anything with them; but they seem to me neither _to be_ nor -_to do_, nor _to suffer_ any----” - -“That will do,” interrupted the Judge, afraid that Dr. Verb was -beginning one of his long speeches. “Mr. Adjective, do you claim them?” - -“They do not qualify anything, my lord,” answered Adjective; “indeed, -they seem to me _poor_, _useless_, _silly_, _little_----” - -“We do not want you to qualify them, thank you,” said the Judge, “but -to tell us if they are yours. Article, we know, has only _a_ or _an_ -and _the_, so they cannot be his. Mr. Pronoun, do they belong to you?” - -“No, my lord,” answered Pronoun. “As Mr. Noun has nothing to say to -them, neither have I. They do not stand instead of any name.” - -“Well,” said the Judge, “we know they do not belong to that tiresome -little Interjection. Are they yours, Adverb?” - -“I should be _extremely_ glad to have them, my lord,” answered Adverb, -smoothly washing his hands, as usual. “I have no doubt I could make -them _exceedingly_ useful----” - -“That is not what I asked,” said the Judge; “are they yours?” - -“I cannot say they are _exactly_ mine,” said Adverb; “but----” - -“That is all we want to know,” interrupted the Judge. Then raising his -voice, he continued: “If there is any one in this court to whom these -words, ‘to, from, of, for,’ etc., do belong, let him come forward.” - -At these words, a sharp, dapper little fellow stepped forward, and -looking around the court with a triumphant air, exclaimed, “They belong -to me.” - -“And who are you?” - -“Preposition, my lord. My position is just before a noun or pronoun. My -words point out to them their proper position. I keep them in order.” - -“You keep them in order?” said Judge Grammar, looking down at him -through his spectacles; “how can a little mite like you keep Mr. Noun -in order?” - -“Little or big, my lord, that’s what I do,” said Preposition. “I settle -the position of every one and every thing, and show whether they are to -be _on_ or _under_, _to_ or _from_, _up_ or _down_.” - -“_Kindly_ forgive me for interrupting you,” said Adverb, coming -forward. “I _really_ must remark that _up_ and _down_ are my words.” - -“How do you make out that?” asked the Judge. - -“I will show you _directly_, my lord,” answered Adverb. “By the help -of my questions _how_, _when_, and _where_, which, you know, I alone -can answer. If you say, ‘sit up,’ I ask, ‘_how_ am I to sit?’ The -answer is, ‘_up_.’ ‘Lie down;’ ‘_how_ am I to lie?’ The answer is, -‘_down_.’ _Up_ and _down_, therefore, answer to my question _how_, and -are mine.” - -“Stop a minute,” said Preposition. “I also can answer to your favourite -questions _how_, _when_, and _where_. Listen:-- - - _How_ do you like it? tell me true. - Made _of_ sugar, dressed _in_ blue. - _When_ do you like it? answer me. - _At_ my dinner; _after_ tea. - _Where_ do you like it? say, if you’re able. - _On_ my lap or _under_ the table?” - -“_Really_,” said Adverb, smiling politely, “that is _very cleverly_ -done. But allow me to make _just_ one remark. You have not answered -one single question without the help of some other part of speech. Mr. -Noun has helped you with ‘sugar,’ ‘dinner,’ ‘tea,’ ‘lap,’ ‘table;’ Mr. -Adjective lent you ‘blue;’ Mr. Pronoun, ‘my;’ and so on. Now I, without -any help, answer the questions quite alone.” - -“You cannot expect a little fellow like me to stand quite alone,” said -Preposition; “I don’t pretend to do it. I told you at first that my -right position is before a noun or pronoun, or some such word. All I -mean is that I help to answer the questions, and that neither Mr. Noun -nor Mr. Pronoun could answer them without me.” - -“Is that true, Brother Parsing?” asked the Judge. - -“Quite true, my lord,” answered the learned Serjeant. “When I find the -questions ‘how?’ ‘when?’ or ‘where?’ answered by one word alone, I put -that word down to Adverb. But when I find them answered by Mr. Noun or -Mr. Pronoun, helped by another little word, then I know that that other -little word belongs to Preposition.” - -“Yes, my lord,” continued Preposition; “so if you say ‘_up_ a ladder’ -or ‘_down_ a hill,’ _up_ and _down_ are mine; they show your position -on the ladder or the hill; they are the little prepositions put before -Mr. Noun’s words _ladder_ and _hill_. But, of course, if you were to -ask how I am to step _up_ or _down_? then Adverb could call up and down -_adverbs_, because they are added on to the verb ‘step,’ and they have -nothing to do with a noun or a pronoun.” - -“_Precisely_,” said Adverb; “my friend Preposition is _perfectly_ -correct. I _immensely_ admire my young friend, although he does not -move in _quite so_ select a circle as myself.” - -“Don’t I?” said Preposition, with a knowing little nod. - -“I think Mr. Noun quite as good company as Dr. Verb, any day. Besides, -even grand Dr. Verb is glad enough to have my little _to_ to put before -his verbs. When he makes up his ‘songs,’ as he calls them, he always -puts my little _to_ before the name at the top. He is glad enough -to have it to point out his verbs, and does not despise me at all, -though I do not stick on to him like a leech, as some people do;” and -Preposition nodded his head very fast a great many times at Adverb. - -“Dr. Verb does not agree with you, though,” remarked Pronoun, quietly. - -“No,” said Preposition, “I do not alter for him, nor he for me. But he -does not agree with Adverb either. Poor Adverb agrees with nobody, and -nobody agrees with him; and he, poor fellow! cannot govern anybody, -either. Now I govern every noun or pronoun that I come before, for I -put them in the Objective Case.” - -“I object,” cried the Judge. “I will not have that word brought into -court. I said so before, and I say so again. Nominative Case is bad -enough, but Objective Case is enough to turn a brown wig grey in a -single night. Break up the court! Critics, clear the room!” - -And Judge Grammar rose hastily from his seat, and stalked angrily out, -while all the Parts-of-Speech stood looking speechlessly at each other -till the policemen came, bundled them all out, and locked the doors -behind them. - -In spite of the hurry, however, Serjeant Parsing managed to hand up to -the people of Schoolroom-shire the following verses, begging the ladies -and gentlemen there to find out all the prepositions in them, and to -count how many lines there are in which Preposition has nothing to say. - -THE FAIRY-RING. - - Beside a bluebell on the heath, - Among the purple heather, - A fairy lived, and crept beneath - The leaves in windy weather. - - She drank the dewdrops from the stalk, - She peeped into the flower; - And then she went to take a walk, - Or ride for half-an-hour. - - She rode upon a cricket’s back, - She came before the Queen, - The fairy Queen, with all her court, - Within the forest green. - - They had a dance upon the grass, - Till larks began to sing; - And where they danced, as all may know - They left a fairy-ring. - - Oh, pretty fairies! why not stay, - That we at you may peep? - Why will you only dance and play - When we are fast asleep? - -[Illustration] - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER XIV. - -PREPOSITIONS GOVERN THE OBJECTIVE CASE. - - -[Illustration: LOOK AT ME - -PREPOSITIONS GOVERN THE OBJECTIVE CASE] - -“When the Parts-of-Speech found themselves so suddenly turned out of -the court, they collected in a group before the door, and looked at -each other in astonishment.” - -“Here is a pretty thing!” said Mr. Noun, indignantly. “Fine way to -treat us, indeed!” - -“And after all, I only said what is true,” said Preposition. “I do put -every noun or pronoun that comes after my words in the Objective Case, -do I not, Dr. Syntax?” - -“Prepositions govern the Objective Case,” said Dr. Syntax, in his usual -monotonous voice; then lifting his spectacles, he twisted his head -round to look at Preposition, and actually deigned to explain his words -by saying: “Whatever noun or pronoun a preposition is placed before and -refers to, must be in the Objective Case.” - -“Speak to him,” murmured Serjeant Parsing, as if he were talking to -himself: “_him_, a pronoun, objective case, governed by the preposition -_to_.” - -“Mr. Pronoun, you hear that!” exclaimed Mr. Noun. “This little -Preposition is said to govern us, you and me, in the Objective Case. -Very impertinent, on my word!” - -“On my word!” again muttered Serjeant Parsing. “Word, a noun, Objective -Case, governed by the preposition _on_.” - -“However, it does not matter to me,” continued Mr. Noun, without taking -any notice of Serjeant Parsing. “It will make no difference to me;” and -he turned away, with his hands in his pockets, and began to whistle a -tune. - -“It does matter to me, though,” said Pronoun, “for I have to alter my -words according to the case they are in. _I_ is only in the nominative -case, _me_ in the objective; _we_ is nominative, _us_ objective; _he_ -nominative, _him_ objective, and so on. You cannot say ‘look at _I_;’ -you must say ‘look at _me_.’” - -“Look at me,” echoed Serjeant Parsing, in the same quiet tone: “_me_, -Objective Case, governed by the preposition _at_.” - -“Quite so,” continued Pronoun, turning to Serjeant Parsing. “I am -objective there, I cannot help it; I must be objective after a -preposition.” - -“Yes,” said Serjeant Parsing, aloud, “and it is very convenient for me -that you must. It often helps me to find out whether a word is really -a preposition or no. I just try whether it wants _I_ or _me_ after it. -Take _when_ or _if_, for instance. You can say, when _I_ go, if _I_ -were; so _when_ and _if_ are not prepositions. But you cannot say ‘for -I,’ or ‘from I;’ you must have the Objective Case, and say for _me_, -from _me_; so _for_ and _from_ are prepositions governing the Objective -Case.” - -“You had better take care,” said Preposition; “you keep on saying -Objective Case, and if you say it before Judge Grammar, you know you -will get us all into trouble again.” - -“Oh, never fear,” said Serjeant Parsing; “the Judge will listen to us -patiently enough, next time. Besides, he must hear about Objective -Case, whether he likes it or no, because the prize will partly depend -upon it.” - -“The prize! what prize?” cried every one. - -“Listen. There is to be a grand trial or examination soon. All -the Schoolroom-shire children are to be invited, and all you -Parts-of-Speech are to make up a story between you. You will each get -a mark for every word you give, and whoever gets the most marks will -get----” - -“Yes, what? what will he get?” they all cried out eagerly. - -“Ah! that is a secret. What I want to tell you is, that any word that -governs another will get an extra mark. For instance, when I say -‘Listen to me,’ the preposition _to_ puts _me_ in the Objective Case, -so _to_ will get an extra mark.” - -“That is splendid!” cried little Preposition, clapping his hands and -jumping about for joy. “I always govern a noun or pronoun in the -Objective Case, so I shall get two marks every time I come in.” - -“Not quite so sure,” interrupted Dr. Verb. “Sometimes you come before -a verb, _to_ eat, _to_ sleep, _to_ fly, and then you can only get one -mark, for you do not govern me, my little dear, seeing that verbs do -not have a case at all.” - -“Ah, but you have to agree with your Nominative Case, Dr. Verb,” said -Pronoun; “so I suppose, when I am nominative, I shall have an extra -mark, for I might be said to govern you in a sort of way.” - -“No, no,” said Serjeant Parsing, putting in his word, “you are not said -to govern Dr. Verb; he agrees with you, that is all; but the Nominative -Case, being a very honourable one, will always get two marks.” - -“Then,” said Mr. Noun, suddenly stopping his whistling and taking an -interest in the conversation, “I am of course to get two marks for -every noun in the Nominative Case?” - -“Certainly,” answered Serjeant Parsing. - -“And in the Objective Case also?” asked Mr. Noun. - -“No, no,” said Serjeant Parsing, laughing; “that would be too much of -a good thing, since your words are nearly always either nominative or -objective. No, no; on the contrary, the Objective Case, being governed -by other words (even such little trifles as prepositions), is not -considered at all an honourable case, and therefore will not only give -a noun or pronoun no extra marks, but will take away one of those it -already has. For instance, if I am parsing ‘Come to me,’ and I give Mr. -Pronoun a mark for _me_, I must strike out that mark as soon as I find -that _me_ is in the Objective Case, and must give it to Preposition for -his little word _to_, which governs _me_.” - -Mr. Noun and Mr. Pronoun both looked very dismal at these tidings, and -then Mr. Noun said:-- - -“I hope no one else except Preposition can put me into the Objective -Case.” - -“O yes, indeed, I can,” cried Dr. Verb, bustling up, eagerly; but -Serjeant Parsing stopped him. - -“No, no, Dr. Verb,” he said, “we are not going to begin that question. -No notice will be taken of any noun or pronoun’s being in the Objective -Case, unless it is governed by a preposition. That is the rule for -this trial; another time, perhaps, your rights will be considered.” - -Serjeant Parsing then took the following lines to Schoolroom-shire, -that every Objective Case governed by a preposition might be found -out:-- - - Tom called for me, I went with him, - We climbed upon a rock; - There over the sea we looked for thee, - Till seven of the clock. - And then a white sail over the main, - Brought back our sailor-boy again. - -Fill up the blanks with a noun or pronoun, and say whether it will be -nominative or objective. - -.... went for a walk yesterday, .... walked through a dark .... under -tall ....; suddenly, when .... were in a very lonely ...., .... heard -the steps of some .... crashing through the .... “What can it be?” .... -cried .... stopped to listen; the .... came nearer, two bright eyes -gleamed at us through the ...., and in another .... out bounded, with a -deep .... that made echoes all round us, our own dear old ...., who had -broken his chain, escaped from the ...., and had come out to look for -.... - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER XV. - -CONJUNCTION. - - -[Illustration: - - AND - BUT - SO - &c - -BE GOOD AND YOU·WILL·BE·HAPPY - -CONJUNCTION] - -“My lord,” said Serjeant Parsing, the next time that the court -assembled, “I must beg for your assistance. I have here a story--a very -excellent story, as it seems to me; but somehow or other it will not go -right--it has what you might call a jerky sound--as if you were riding -over a corduroy road in a cart without springs, and were trying to talk -between the bumps. I have asked all the Parts-of-Speech that are in -court to help me, but none of them can give me any assistance.” - -“Read the story aloud,” said the Judge, “and let us hear it.” - -So Sergeant Parsing read-- - -“THE EAGLE ... THE RAVEN. - -“An eagle pounced on a little lamb .... carried it off in his claws. A -raven saw him fly .... thought he could do the same; .... he chose out -the best .... biggest sheep of the flock, .... pounced down upon it; -.... lo! .... behold! it was much too heavy .... it was much bigger -.... himself, .... poor Mr. Raven only got his claws entangled in the -wool .... when he tried to fly away he found it impossible to get free -.... he was struggling .... the shepherd came .... caught him .... put -him in a cage.” - -“I see, I see,” said the Judge, “you want some words to join your -sentences together. Noun, Pronoun, Article, Adjective, Verb, -Adverb, Preposition, none of these will do. I have only two other -Parts-of-Speech left on my list: that tiresome Interjection, who is, of -course, no use, and Con----” - -“Conjunction! Here you are, my lord,” said a bright cheery voice at the -door, and Conjunction walked into court. - -He had on a coat with brass buttons, and a cap like a railway guard’s, -with C. J. marked on the front. Under his arm he had a bundle of iron -hooks or tools--at least what you would have thought were iron hooks or -tools, if you had seen them down in Matter-of-fact-land, and had not -known any better. They were really his words. - -“You are late, sir,” said the Judge, very sternly; “where have you -been?” - -“To tell you the truth, my lord,” answered Conjunction, “I have been -for a little holiday trip on the Grammar-land Railway. The fact is, my -turn was so long in coming, and the last time I was here your lordship -broke up the court in such a temp----” - -“A what, sir?” interrupted the Judge, angrily. - -“A hurry, my lord,--in such a hurry, that I did not think we should -meet again for some time; and so I just amused myself by a trip on the -railway, where I am so often at work.” - -“Very improper, indeed!” replied the Judge, “as if you were made to -amuse yourself. Such a thing was never heard of before in Grammar-land. -Ask Dr. Syntax whether conjunctions are used for amusement.” - -“Conjunctions are used to connect words or sentences,” said Dr. Syntax, -in his solemn unchanging voice, standing up to speak, and sinking down -the moment he had finished. - -“There!” said the Judge, “you hear what you are used for--to connect -words or sentences--that is your work, and that is just what we have -been wanting you for. You have kept the whole court waiting, while you -have been taking a holiday, forsooth! Your very cap ought to shame -you. Pray what does C. J. stand for?” - -“Well, my lord, the folks in Matter-of-fact-land say that it stands for -Clapham Junction, which is a big station down there, where a great many -railways are joined together; and they say that I am the pointsman, who -moves the rails and makes the trains run together, or apart, as the -case may be; and I don’t know but what that’s as good a description of -my work as the folks in Matter-of-fact-land could give. Only they ought -to understand that our trains in Grammar-land are sentences, and my -tools with which I join them together are my words--_and_, _but_, _if_, -_also_, and so on. And here they are, Mr. Parsing, and heartily at your -service, sir, if you like to make use of them;” and pulling the bundle -from under his arm, Conjunction laid them down before Serjeant Parsing, -with a bow. - -“Thank you, my man,” said Serjeant Parsing, “one at a time, if you -please. I will read my story again, and do you hand up a word that will -fit, whenever I stop for it.” - -So he read it again, and Conjunction put in the words as follows:-- - -“THE EAGLE _AND_ THE RAVEN. - -“An eagle pounced on a little lamb _and_ carried it off in his claws. -A raven saw him fly, _and_ thought he could do the same; _so_ he chose -out the best _and_ biggest sheep of the flock, _and_ pounced down upon -it; _but_ lo! _and_ behold! it was much too heavy, _for_ it was much -bigger _than_ himself, _so_ poor Mr. Raven only got his claws entangled -in the wool, _and_ when he tried to fly away, he found it impossible -to get free; _and whilst_ he was struggling, the shepherd came _and_ -caught him _and_ put him in a cage.” - -“Ah,” said Judge Grammar, “yes, that is an improvement. I see, -Conjunction, you have put in _and_, _so_, _but_, _than_, _for_, -_whilst_. What other words have you?” - -“I have _because_, my lord,” answered Conjunction. “Mr. Adverb asks -‘why?’ but I answer ‘because,’ which is much more useful. Any one can -ask ‘why?’ but it is only a fellow like me, that knows how things work, -that can answer ‘because.’” - -“You need not boast,” said the Judge; “you only join the trains -together, you know; you do not make them. _Because_ is only useful on -account of what comes after it; it would not tell us much if it stood -alone. But what others have you?” - -“I have _if_, my lord; and though it is only a word of two letters, it -makes a mighty difference many a time. How happy we should all be _if_ -we could get just what we want.” - -“Yes, yes, we know,” said the Judge; “‘_if_ wishes were horses, -beggars would ride;’ but it is a very good thing they are not. Now, -Conjunction, _if_ you have any more words, let us hear them.” - -“Except that I sometimes use my neighbours’ words as conjunctions, my -lord,” answered Conjunction, “I think I have told you pretty well all. -Here is a packet I put together:-- - - _If_, _because_, _and_, _so_, _that_, _or_, - _But_, _although_, _as_, _also_, _nor_.” - -“One more question,” said the Judge; “do you govern or agree with any -of your neighbours?” - -“Not I, my lord, I leave that for my betters. I am quite satisfied to -join them together, and then leave them alone,” answered Conjunction. - -“Then that will do for to-day. Brother Parsing, be good enough to -send the following story to Schoolroom-shire, and tell them to give -Conjunction a place on their slates among the other Parts-of-Speech, -and mark down all his words for him. When that is done, I shall have -some good news to tell you.” - -The court then rose. - -A NARROW ESCAPE. - -A traveller in India one day strayed away from his companions, and -went to sleep under a tree. When he awoke he saw, to his horror, the -two bright eyes of a tiger, ready to spring upon him from a high -bank. He leaped up to run away, but fell back again directly, for a -large crocodile was coming towards him, with its great mouth open. He -shut his eyes and waited in terror, for he heard the tiger spring. A -tremendous noise followed; but he felt nothing. He opened his eyes, and -lo! the tiger had sprung into the mouth of the crocodile; and while the -two wild beasts were struggling, the traveller sprang up and ran away. - -[Illustration] - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER XVI. - -ACTIVE VERBS GOVERN THE OBJECTIVE CASE. - - -[Illustration: ACTIVE·VERBS ·GOVERN· THE·OBJECTIVE·CASE] - -“And now, gentlemen,” said Judge Grammar, when next they were -assembled. “But what is the matter, Dr. Verb? What is this about?” he -asked, interrupting himself, for Dr. Verb had gone down on one knee -before the Judge, and was holding out a paper to him. - -“A petition, your lordship,” said Dr. Verb, solemnly; “I beg for -justice. No, Preposition, it is of no use to try to hold me back, and -to whisper that his lordship will be very angry. You have had your -rights given you, and I am going to claim mine. My lord, I beg for the -right of an extra mark whenever any word of mine governs a noun or -pronoun in the Objective Case.” - -At the words “Objective Case,” every one in the court held his breath, -expecting the Judge to burst into a rage; and certainly a sudden flush -did overspread his face, and rise to the very roots of his wig. For -a moment he sat silent with compressed lips, then lifting his head -haughtily, he said:-- - -“Do not apologise, Dr. Verb; I forgive you; but on one condition--that -you show clearly and at once how to discover an Objective Case that is -governed by a verb.” - -“Certainly, my lord,” said Dr. Verb, joyfully; “it is the easiest thing -in the world. Just as you have to ask the question, ‘who?’ or ‘what?’ -_before_ the verb, to find out the Nominative Case, so you must ask the -question, ‘whom?’ or ‘what?’ _after_ the verb, to find the Objective -Case. For the nominative tells you who did the thing, and the objective -tells you to whom the thing was done. Here is an example:--‘Harry -kicked the cat.’ You ask, ‘who kicked?’ to find the nominative, and the -answer is _Harry_. You ask, ‘Harry kicked what?’ to find the objective, -and the answer is, _the cat_. Is that clear?” - -“The cat would certainly object,” muttered the Judge; “but I suppose -that is not why it is called objective, because if the verb had been -_fed_, _cat_ would have been objective all the same. Well, Brother -Parsing,” he continued aloud, “did Dr. Verb explain the matter clearly? -Could you find out the objective in that way?” - -“Certainly, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing, readily. “I will give -you an example to prove it. ‘I ate my dinner.’ I find the nominative by -asking ‘who ate?’ answer: _I_. I find the objective by asking ‘I ate -what?’ answer: _dinner_; and dinner is clearly the objective, for it -was the object for which I sat down to eat.” - -“Must all verbs have an Objective Case after them?” asked the Judge. - -“They cannot all govern the objective,” Serjeant Parsing began, when he -was interrupted by a solemn voice near him, as Dr. Syntax suddenly rose -and said, “Active verbs govern the Objective Case; active verbs govern -the Objective Case;” and then sat down again. - -“I know what he means by that,” said Dr. Verb. “Active verbs are -those whose action passes on to some one or something else, as in the -sentence, ‘Harry kicked the cat,’ the action of kicking passed on to -the poor cat; and in ‘I ate my dinner,’ the action of eating passed on -and consumed the dinner; so _kick_ and _eat_ are both active verbs, and -govern an Objective Case.” - -“Well, then,” said the Judge, “must all _active_ verbs have an -Objective Case?” - -“They should have one, my lord, if you want to make the sentence -complete. You must give them an _object_ for their activity. Every -active boy can do _something_, though it may not be Latin, and the -same with every active verb. If it is an active verb you can always -put _some one_ or _something_ after it; as to _eat_ something, _drink_ -something, _see_ something, _love_ somebody.” - -“And if the verb is not active?” asked the Judge. - -“Then it usually has a preposition between it and the noun or pronoun -after it, as, ‘I think _of_ you.’ And the preposition gets all the -honour and glory of governing the Objective Case, and gets an extra -mark besides.” - -“Well,” said the Judge, “you have explained it pretty clearly. I -suppose I must allow you an extra mark for every verb that governs an -Objective Case.” - -“But, please, my lord,” said Mr. Noun, coming forward, “I suppose that -Pronoun and I are not to lose a mark for every word of ours that is -governed by a verb. That would be very hard.” - -“No, no,” said the Judge. “There is no dishonour in being governed by -an active verb; it is only when you allow yourselves to be governed by -a little mite like Preposition, that you are to lose a mark.” - -“Allow ourselves to be governed,” muttered Mr. Noun. “As if we could -help it, when Dr. Syntax has once made the rule.” - -“Brother Parsing,” said the Judge, “let us have a sentence to ‘parse,’ -as you call it, that we may see clearly how it is done.” - -“Certainly, my lord,” said Serjeant Parsing, turning over his papers. -“Here is an excellent sentence, or rather, I should say, two sentences, -for there are two verbs: ‘Jack suddenly gave a loud cry, for lo! a -tiger appeared before him.’ Now let each Part-of-Speech claim the word -as I read it. _Jack._” - -“Mine,” said Mr. Noun. “_Jack_ is a proper noun.” - -“_Suddenly_,” said Serjeant Parsing. - -“Certainly _suddenly_ is mine,” said Adverb, smoothly. - -“_Gave_,” said Serjeant Parsing. - -“_Gave_ is mine,” said Dr. Verb, “and it agrees with its nominative, -_Jack_. For ‘who gave?’ _Jack_ gave, so _Jack_ is the nominative; and -please, Mr. Noun, what number and person is _Jack_, for _gave_ must be -the same?” - -“_Jack_ is singular number, of course,” said Mr. Noun, “for there is -only one Jack mentioned; and it is third person, for you are talking -about him, not _to_ him, and, of course, he is not talking of himself; -my words never do that.” - -“Oh,” said Dr. Verb, “then _Jack_ is third person singular, is he? -then _gave_ is third person singular, too; and it is an active verb, -and has an Objective Case. ‘Jack gave what?’ a _cry_--_cry_ is the -objective, governed by the active verb gave; so an extra mark for me, -please Serjeant Parsing.” - -“All right,” said the learned Serjeant. “_A_ is the next word.” - -“Mine,” said little Article. - -“_Loud,_” continued Serjeant Parsing. - -“_Loud_ is mine,” said Adjective; “it qualifies cry--tells what sort of -a cry he gave.” - -“Good,” said Serjeant Parsing; “now, _cry_.” - -“Mine,” said Mr. Noun; “a common noun this time, and Objective Case; -but it does not lose a mark, as it is governed by an active verb, not -by a preposition.” - -“_For_,” continued Serjeant Parsing. - -“Mine, sir,” said Conjunction; “it joins the sentences. ‘Jack gave a -loud cry,’ _for_ ‘lo! a tiger appeared before him.’” - -“Lo! lo! lo! that is mine,” cried little Interjection, before Serjeant -Parsing had time to continue. - -“_A_,” called out the Serjeant, without noticing him. - -“An article, again,” said little Article. - -“_Tiger_,” continued Serjeant Parsing. - -“Mine,” said Mr. Noun; “a common noun, but nominative this time to the -verb _appeared_.” - -“You should not tell my words, Mr. Noun,” said Dr. Verb. “Please, sir, -_appeared_ is a verb, not active, because it does not say that the -tiger appeared to anybody or anything; it appeared _before_ somebody, -and that little preposi----” - -“Now you’re telling, Dr. Verb,” cried Preposition. “Please, sir, -_before_ is mine--a preposition, showing the position of the tiger with -regard to poor Jack, and governing _him_ in the Objective Case; so two -marks for me, please, sir.” - -“One more word,” said Serjeant Parsing; “_him_.” - -“_Him_ is mine,” said Pronoun, sadly; “it is a personal pronoun, third -person and singular number, standing instead of the noun _Jack_; but,” -he added, with tears in his eyes, “it is of no use to give me a mark -for it, as I shall lose it again on account of the case. _Him_ is the -objective case, governed by the preposition _before_;” and Pronoun -turned away with a sob. - -“Well, gentlemen,” said Judge Grammar, “you see what the learned -Serjeant means by ‘parsing.’ Only let our Schoolroom-shire friends -parse a few sentences in the same way, and they will be perfectly -prepared for the great trial that is coming on. Brother, pray hand them -up a few.” Then pulling out his watch, the Judge continued: “I find, -gentlemen, that the present time will soon be past, and we shall be -stepping into the future if we go on much longer; therefore I must put -off, until the next time we meet, the announcement I was going to make -to you to-day.” - -The Judge then left the bench, and Serjeant Parsing prepared the -following sentences for parsing:-- - - We took a walk in the garden. - I see a bee in your bonnet. - The dragon ate a dragon-fly. - You never saw a blue rose. - Ah! I have a bone in my leg. - I will ride behind you on your horse. - Tom picked a flower for me. - Willy is riding on the rocking-horse. - A spider has eight legs. - - - - -[Illustration] - -CHAPTER XVII. - -THE POSSESSIVE CASE; AND WHO’S TO HAVE THE PRIZE? - - -[Illustration: ‘S S’ - - THE QUEEN’S CROWN - TOM’S BAT - AMY’S PARASOL - THE POSSESSIVE CASE] - -The court was again assembled, and the Judge was just going to speak, -when he stopped--for there was Mr. Noun, who had gone plop down on one -knee before him, just as Dr. Verb did before, and was holding out his -petition. - -“Dear me,” exclaimed the Judge, “you too! What can you have to complain -of?” - -“I have lost a Case, my lord,” said Mr. Noun, still kneeling. - -“Get up, sir,” said the Judge, “and say out quickly what you mean. Am I -never to have done with these tiresome Cases?” - -“Please, my lord, it is just this,” said Mr. Noun, standing up. “You -have seen how my words can be Nominative Case or Objective Case; but -there is a case in which they are neither of these two. For instance, -in the sentence, ‘The monkey pulled the cat’s tail,’--_pulled_ -is the verb; _monkey_ is the nominative, for the monkey did the -pulling; _tail_ is the objective, for ‘what did the monkey pull?’ -The _tail_--but then what case is _cat’s_? It is not nominative nor -objective.” - -“Don’t ask me what case it is,” said the Judge, indignantly; “say out -at once yourself.” - -“But you will be angry at the long word, my lord,” said Mr. Noun. - -“Nonsense, sir,” said the Judge, getting very red. “Speak at once, when -I order you to do so.” - -“Then _cat’s_ is said to be in the Possessive Case,” said Mr. Noun, -“because it shows who possessed the tail that was pulled by the monkey. -Any noun that shows to whom a thing belongs--who is the possessor of -it--is said to be in the Possessive Case.” - -“Oh!” said the Judge. “Then if I say, ‘This knife belongs to Harry,’ -_Harry_ will be in the Possessive Case, will it?” - -“No, my lord,” said Mr. Noun, looking a little confused, “because there -is a little preposition _to_ before Harry, and prepositions----” - -“Prepositions govern the Objective Case,” said Dr. Syntax, solemnly. - -“Yes, yes, we know,” said Mr. Noun, impatiently; “but I mean any noun -that shows possession, without the help of any preposition, as if you -said, ‘This is Harry’s knife.’ _Harry’s_ is in the Possessive Case, for -it shows who possesses the knife, not by the help of any preposition, -but by making it Harry’_s_ instead of _Harry_. I might have said in the -other sentence, ‘The monkey pulled the tail belonging to the cat,’ but -it is much better and shorter to use a Possessive Case, and say, ‘The -monkey pulled the cat’s tail.’” - -“It certainly seems a convenient case,” said the Judge. - -“It is, my lord,” said Mr. Noun; “and, therefore, I think I have a -right to ask for an extra mark for it.” - -“Oh! that is what you want, is it?” said the Judge. “Well, I will grant -your request, provided you can show me an easy way of finding the -Possessive Case at once.” - -“You may always know it by the little apostrophe (’) either before or -after an _s_ at the end of the word,” answered Mr. Noun; “as, ‘Mary’s -doll,’ ‘Tom’s dog,’ ‘the baby’s milk,’ ‘the children’s toys,’ ‘the -boys’ hats,’ ‘the girls’ gardens.’ Is not that easy, my lord?” - -“Yes, that is simple enough,” replied the Judge; “therefore, although I -think it rather impertinent of you to have brought so many Cases before -me, I will grant your request. You are to have then an extra mark for -every Nominative Case and for every Possessive Case, but none for the -Objective Case; and you will lose a mark every time you are governed by -a preposition. Are you satisfied?” - -Mr. Noun bowed, and took his seat. - -“And now, gentlemen,” continued the Judge, addressing the nine -Parts-of-Speech, “as you have all appeared before me, and shown clearly -who and what you are----” - -“And me! oh! oh! poor little me!” cried Interjection. - -“I have not called you up before me,” said the Judge, sternly, “because -we have all heard quite enough about you already. Once is quite enough -to have heard such an unruly, odd little creature as you are; and you -have thrown yourself in more than once while the people were speaking. -We all know that you neither govern nor are governed by any one else, -and that you agree with nobody. Therefore, stand aside and be quiet.” - -“Ah, well!” chuckled Interjection, as he obeyed, “if I do not govern -any one, at least I can take my neighbours’ words, as other people can, -and make them my own. Marry! forsooth! indeed! that I can!” - -“_Marry_ is mine,” said Dr. Verb, bustling up. - -“Indeed, _indeed_ is mine,” said Adverb, blandly. - -“Pray, do not quarrel with him,” said the Judge; “let him have a few -words to keep him quiet.” - -“There is one thing,” said Dr. Verb, laughing, “no one would be in a -hurry to steal Interjection’s words, for they are not worth it. Who -could ever make a decent word out of _oh_! or _fie_! or _pshaw_! or -_ugh_!” - -“Laugh as you like, Dr. Verb,” cried Interjection, “my words can stand -alone, and make sense all by themselves, and mean as much as a whole -string of other words. For instance, when I say ‘Fie!’ that is as good -as saying, ‘You ought to be ashamed of yourself;’ and when I say ‘Ah!’ -that means, ‘I see through all your fine airs and graces, Dr. Verb, and -know all about you.’ Ha! ha! what do you say to that?” And Interjection -once more took a turn over head and heels. - -“Keep him quiet, will you,” said the Judge. “And now, gentlemen,” -he continued, for the third time, “I hope we shall all be prepared -for the great trial that is to take place this day week. The people -of Schoolroom-shire are all invited to attend, and to bring their -slates and pencils with them. You all, my nine Parts-of-Speech, will -together make up a story which Serjeant Parsing will have in his -hand. He will then carefully examine every word, and the children of -Schoolroom-shire, who will have a place for each of you on their -slates, will put down a mark to each one who deserves it. In the end, -they will count up all the marks, and the Part-of-Speech who has the -most will get--will get----” - -Just at this moment, when every one was listening most anxiously to -hear what the prize was to be, clouds of dust were observed arising -from behind his lordship’s throne. In fact, the Critics, tired of -doing nothing, had begun to turn out whole piles of mouldering old -books, Murray’s Grammars, old dictionaries, and I know not what; and -the venerable dust therefrom, getting into his lordship’s eyes, nose, -and mouth, brought on such a violent fit of coughing and choking, that -it was impossible to get another word from him. He did not then, nor -has he since, informed his loving subjects what the prize was to be. -Therefore, it is left to the children of Schoolroom-shire to decide. -In examining the following story they must be both judge and jury, and -decide not only which Part-of-Speech deserves the most marks, but also -what is a fitting reward for the happy being who shall win the great -prize of Grammar-land. - -_Serjeant Parsing’s Story for the Examination._ - -THE SAD FATE OF OUR SQUIRREL - -Once, when I was walking in the garden, I found a young squirrel on the -ground at the foot of a tall tree. It had fallen from the nest. I took -the little soft warm creature in my hand, and I carried it carefully -into the house. There we fed it with warm milk, and it quickly revived. -It soon sat up, with its pretty curly tail over its back, and then it -rubbed its nose with its paws. It seemed to look to me as if it knew -me for a friend. When night came, I made a soft bed for it beside -me, and it slept cosily. In the morning, I took it to my cousin. “It -wants breakfast,” she said; “I will warm some milk for it in my doll’s -saucepan.” So she boiled some milk in a little green saucepan, and -we fed our pet. “Ah!” I cried, “is it ill? It is struggling as if it -were in pain.” We tried to warm it, and we gave it another spoonful of -milk; but, alas! the poor little creature gave a pitiful moan, and we -soon saw that it was dead. The green paint on the doll’s saucepan was -poisonous, and we had killed our little squirrel while it was lying in -our arms. - -[Illustration] - - - - -Transcriber’s Note: - -The following changes have been made to the original publication: - - Page 16 - _a bird_, _a fly_, when suddenly _changed to_ - _a bird_, _a fly_,” when suddenly - - Page 47 - therefore her stands _changed to_ - therefore _her_ stands - - Page 51 - some one in it.” _changed to_ - some one in it. - - Page 58 - of the verb _to swim_. _changed to_ - of the verb _to swim_.” - - Page 84 - How do you like it _changed to_ - _How_ do you like it - - Page 92 - See peeped into the flower; _changed to_ - She peeped into the flower; - - Page 104 - let us hear them. _changed to_ - let us hear them.” - - Page 117 - I can take my neighbours words _changed to_ - I can take my neighbours’ words - - Page 119 - In fact, the critics, tired of _changed to_ - In fact, the Critics, tired of - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GRAMMAR-LAND *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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