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+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #67466 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/67466)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of Thoughts on the Education of
-Daughters, by Mary Wollstonecraft
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: Thoughts on the Education of Daughters
- with Reflections on Female Conduct, in The more important Duties
- of Life
-
-Author: Mary Wollstonecraft
-
-Release Date: February 21, 2022 [eBook #67466]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading
- Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from
- images generously made available by The Internet Archive)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THOUGHTS ON THE EDUCATION OF
-DAUGHTERS ***
-
-
-
-
-
- THOUGHTS
-
- ON THE
-
- EDUCATION
-
- OF
-
- DAUGHTERS:
-
- WITH
-
- REFLECTIONS ON FEMALE CONDUCT,
-
- IN
-
- The more important DUTIES of LIFE,
-
-
- By MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT.
-
-
- LONDON:
- PRINTED FOR J. JOHNSON, N^o 72, ST. PAUL’S
- CHURCH-YARD.
-
- M DCC LXXXVII.
-
-
-
-
- PREFACE.
-
-
-In the following pages I have endeavoured to point out some important
-things with respect to female education. It is true, many treatises have
-been already written; yet it occurred to me, that much still remained to
-be said. I shall not swell these sheets by writing apologies for my
-attempt. I am afraid, indeed, the reflections will, by some, be thought
-too grave; but I could not make them less so without writing affectedly;
-yet, though they may be insipid to the gay, others may not think them
-so; and if they should prove useful to one fellow-creature, and beguile
-any hours, which sorrow has made heavy, I shall think I have not been
-employed in vain.
-
-
-
-
- CONTENTS
-
- PREFACE
- The NURSERY
- MORAL DISCIPLINE
- EXTERIOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
- ARTIFICIAL MANNERS
- DRESS
- The FINE ARTS
- READING
- BOARDING-SCHOOLS
- The TEMPER
- Unfortunate Situation of Females, fashionably educated, and left without
- a Fortune
- LOVE
- MATRIMONY
- DESULTORY THOUGHTS
- THE BENEFITS WHICH ARISE FROM DISAPPOINTMENTS
- ON THE TREATMENT OF SERVANTS
- THE OBSERVANCE OF SUNDAY
- ON THE MISFORTUNE OF FLUCTUATING PRINCIPLES
- BENEVOLENCE
- CARD-PLAYING
- THE THEATRE
- PUBLIC PLACES
-
-
-
-
- THOUGHTS
- ON THE
-
- EDUCATION
-
- OF
-
- DAUGHTERS.
-
-
-
-
- THE NURSERY.
-
-
-As I conceive it to be the duty of every rational creature to attend to
-its offspring, I am sorry to observe, that reason and duty together have
-not so powerful an influence over human conduct, as instinct has in the
-brute creation. Indolence, and a thoughtless disregard of every thing,
-except the present indulgence, make many mothers, who may have momentary
-starts of tenderness, neglect their children. They follow a pleasing
-impulse, and never reflect that reason should cultivate and govern those
-instincts which are implanted in us to render the path of duty
-pleasant—for if they are not governed they will run wild; and strengthen
-the passions which are ever endeavouring to obtain dominion—I mean
-vanity and self-love.
-
-The first thing to be attended to, is laying the foundation of a good
-constitution. The mother (if there are not very weighty reasons to
-prevent her) ought to suckle her children. Her milk is their proper
-nutriment, and for some time is quite sufficient. Were a regular mode of
-suckling adopted, it would be far from being a laborious task. Children,
-who are left to the care of ignorant nurses, have their stomachs
-overloaded with improper food, which turns acid, and renders them very
-uncomfortable. We should be particularly careful to guard them in their
-infant state from bodily pain; as their minds can then afford them no
-amusement to alleviate it. The first years of a child’s life are
-frequently made miserable through negligence or ignorance. Their
-complaints are mostly in their stomach or bowels; and these complaints
-generally arise from the quality and quantity of their food.
-
-The suckling of a child also excites the warmest glow of tenderness—Its
-dependant, helpless state produces an affection, which may properly be
-termed maternal. I have even felt it, when I have seen a mother perform
-that office; and am of opinion, that maternal tenderness arises quite as
-much from habit as instinct. It is possible, I am convinced, to acquire
-the affection of a parent for an adopted child; it is necessary,
-therefore, for a mother to perform the office of one, in order to
-produce in herself a rational affection for her offspring.
-
-Children very early contract the manners of those about them. It is easy
-to distinguish the child of a well-bred person, if it is not left
-entirely to the nurse’s care. These women are of course ignorant, and to
-keep a child quiet for the moment, they humour all its little caprices.
-Very soon does it begin to be perverse, and eager to be gratified in
-every thing. The usual mode of acting is complying with the humours
-sometimes, and contradicting them at others—just according to the
-dictates of an uncorrected temper. This the infant finds out earlier
-than can be imagined, and it gives rise to an affection devoid of
-respect. Uniformity of conduct is the only feasible method of creating
-both. An inflexible adherence to any rule that has been laid down makes
-children comfortable, and saves the mother and nurse much trouble, as
-they will not often contest, if they have not once conquered. They will,
-I am sure, love and respect a person who treats them properly, if some
-one else does not indiscreetly indulge them. I once heard a judicious
-father say, “He would treat his child as he would his horse: first
-convince it he was its master, and then its friend.” But yet a rigid
-style of behaviour is by no means to be adopted; on the contrary, I wish
-to remark, that it is only in the years of childhood that the happiness
-of a human being depends entirely on others—and to embitter those years
-by needless restraint is cruel. To conciliate affection, affection must
-be shown, and little proofs of it ought always to be given—let them not
-appear weaknesses, and they will sink deep into the young mind, and call
-forth its most amiable propensities. The turbulent passions may be kept
-down till reason begins to dawn.
-
-In the nursery too, they are taught to speak; and there they not only
-hear nonsense, but that nonsense retailed out in such silly, affected
-tones as must disgust;—yet these are the tones which the child first
-imitates, and its innocent playful manner renders them tolerable, if not
-pleasing; but afterwards they are not easily got the better of—nay, many
-women always retain the pretty prattle of the nursery, and do not forget
-to lisp, when they have learnt to languish.
-
-Children are taught revenge and lies in their very cradles. If they fall
-down, or strike their heads against any thing, to quiet them they are
-bid return the injury, and their little hands held out to do it. When
-they cry, or are troublesome, the cat or dog is chastised, or some
-bugbear called to take them away; which only terrifies them at first,
-for they soon find out that the nurse means nothing by these dreadful
-threatenings. Indeed, so well do they discover the fallacy, that I have
-seen little creatures, who could scarcely speak, play over the same
-tricks with their doll or the cat.
-
-How, then, when the mind comes under discipline, can precepts of truth
-be inforced, when the first examples they have had would lead them to
-practice the contrary?
-
-
-
-
- MORAL DISCIPLINE.
-
-
-It has been asserted, “That no being, merely human, could properly
-educate a child.” I entirely coincide with this author; but though
-perfection cannot be attained, and unforeseen events will ever govern
-human conduct, yet still it is our duty to lay down some rule to
-regulate our actions by, and to adhere to it, as consistently as our
-infirmities will permit. To be able to follow Mr. Locke’s system (and
-this may be said of almost all treatises on education) the parents must
-have subdued their own passions, which is not often the case in any
-considerable degree.
-
-The marriage state is too often a state of discord; it does not always
-happen that both parents are rational, and the weakest have it in their
-power to do most mischief.
-
-How then are the tender minds of children to be cultivated?—Mamma is
-only anxious that they should love her best, and perhaps takes pains to
-sow those seeds, which have produced such luxuriant weeds in her own
-mind. Or, what still more frequently occurs, the children are at first
-made play-things of, and when their tempers have been spoiled by
-indiscreet indulgence, they become troublesome, and are mostly left with
-servants; the first notions they imbibe, therefore, are mean and vulgar.
-They are taught cunning, the wisdom of that class of people, and a love
-of truth, the foundation of virtue, is soon obliterated from their
-minds. It is, in my opinion, a well-proved fact, that principles of
-truth are innate. Without reasoning we assent to many truths; we feel
-their force, and artful sophistry can only blunt those feelings which
-nature has implanted in us as instinctive guards to virtue.
-Dissimulation and cunning will soon drive all other good qualities
-before them, and deprive the mind of that beautiful simplicity, which
-can never be too much cherished.
-
-Indeed it is of the utmost consequence to make a child artless, or to
-speak with more propriety, not to teach them to be otherwise; and in
-order to do so we must keep them out of the way of bad examples. Art is
-almost always practiced by servants, and the same methods which children
-observe them to use, to shield themselves from blame, they will
-adopt—and cunning is so nearly allied to falsehood, that it will
-infallibly lead to it—or some foolish prevaricating subterfuge will
-occur; to silence any reproaches of the mind which may arise, if an
-attention to truth has been inculcated.
-
-Another cause or source of art is injudicious correction. Accidents or
-giddy tricks are too frequently punished, and if children can conceal
-these, they will, to avoid chastisement. Restrain them, therefore, but
-never correct them without a very sufficient cause; such as a violation
-of truth, cruelty to animals, inferiors, or those kind of follies which
-lead to vice.
-
-Children should be permitted to enter into conversation; but it requires
-great discernment to find out such subjects as will gradually improve
-them. Animals are the first objects which catch their attention; and I
-think little stories about them would not only amuse but instruct at the
-same time, and have the best effect in forming the temper and
-cultivating the good dispositions of the heart. There are many little
-books which have this tendency. One in particular I recollect: The
-Perambulations of a Mouse. I cannot here help mentioning a book of
-hymns, in measured prose, written by the ingenious author of many other
-proper lessons for children. These hymns, I imagine, would contribute to
-fill the heart with religious sentiments and affections; and, if I may
-be allowed the expression, make the Deity obvious to the senses. The
-understanding, however, should not be overloaded any more than the
-stomach. Intellectual improvements, like the growth and formation of the
-body, must be gradual—yet there is no reason why the mind should lie
-fallow, while its “frail tenement” is imperceptibly fitting itself for a
-more reasonable inhabitant. It will not lie fallow; promiscuous seeds
-will be sown by accident, and they will shoot up with the wheat, and
-perhaps never be eradicated.
-
-Whenever a child asks a question, it should always have a reasonable
-answer given it. Its little passions should be engaged. They are mostly
-fond of stories, and proper ones would improve them even while they are
-amused. Instead of these, their heads are filled with improbable tales,
-and superstitious accounts of invisible beings, which breed strange
-prejudices and vain fears in their minds.
-
-The lisp of the nursery is confirmed, and vulgar phrases are acquired;
-which children, if possible, should never hear. To be able to express
-the thoughts with facility and propriety, is of great consequence in
-life, and if children were never led astray in this particular, it would
-prevent much trouble.
-
-The riot too of the kitchen, or any other place where children are left
-only with servants, makes the decent restraint of the parlour irksome. A
-girl, who has vivacity, soon grows a romp; and if there are male
-servants, they go out a walking with them, and will frequently take
-little freedoms with Miss, the bearing with which gives a forwardness to
-her air, and makes her pert. The becoming modesty, which being
-accustomed to converse with superiors, will give a girl, is entirely
-done away. I must own, I am quite charmed when I see a sweet young
-creature, shrinking as it were from observation, and listening rather
-than talking. It is possible a girl may have this manner without having
-a very good understanding. If it should be so, this diffidence prevents
-her from being troublesome.
-
-It is the duty of a parent to preserve a child from receiving wrong
-impressions.—As to prejudices, the first notions we have deserve that
-name; for it is not till we begin to waver in our opinions, that we
-exert our reason to examine them—and then, if they are received, they
-may be called our own.
-
-The first things, then, that children ought to be encouraged to observe,
-are a strict adherence to truth; a proper submission to superiors; and
-condescension to inferiors. These are the main articles; but there are
-many others, which compared to them are trivial, and yet are of
-importance. It is not pleasing to see a child full of bows and grimaces;
-yet they need not be suffered to be rude. They should be employed, and
-such fables and tales may be culled out for them as would excite their
-curiosity. A taste for the beauties of nature should be very early
-cultivated: many things, with respect to the vegetable and animal world,
-may be explained in an amusing way; and this is an innocent source of
-pleasure within every one’s reach.
-
-Above all, try to teach them to combine their ideas. It is of more use
-than can be conceived, for a child to learn to compare things that are
-similar in some respects, and different in others. I wish them to be
-taught to think—thinking, indeed, is a severe exercise, and exercise of
-either mind or body will not at first be entered on, but with a view to
-pleasure. Not that I would have them make long reflections; for when
-they do not arise from experience, they are mostly absurd.
-
-
-
-
- EXTERIOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
-
-
-Under this head may be ranked all those accomplishments which merely
-render the person attractive; and those half-learnt ones which do not
-improve the mind. “A little learning of any kind is a dangerous thing;”
-and so far from making a person pleasing, it has the contrary effect.
-
-Parents have mostly some weighty business in hand, which they make a
-pretext to themselves for neglecting the arduous task of educating their
-children; they are therefore sent to school, and the allowance for them
-is so low, that the person who undertakes the charge must have more than
-she can possibly attend to; of course, the mechanical parts of education
-can only be observed. I have known children who could repeat things in
-the order they learnt them, that were quite at a loss when put out of
-the beaten track. If the understanding is not exercised, the memory will
-be employed to little purpose.
-
-Girls learn something of music, drawing, and geography; but they do not
-know enough to engage their attention, and render it an employment of
-the mind. If they can play over a few tunes to their acquaintance, and
-have a drawing or two (half done by the master) to hang up in their
-rooms, they imagine themselves artists for the rest of their lives. It
-is not the being able to execute a trifling landscape, or any thing of
-the kind, that is of consequence—These are at best but trifles, and the
-foolish, indiscriminate praises which are bestowed on them only produce
-vanity. But what is really of no importance, when considered in this
-light, becomes of the utmost, when a girl has a fondness for the art,
-and a desire of excellence. Whatever tends to make a person in some
-measure independent of the senses, is a prop to virtue. Amusing
-employments must first occupy the mind; and as an attention to moral
-duties leads to piety, so whoever weighs one subject will turn to
-others, and new ideas will rush into the mind. The faculties will be
-exercised, and not suffered to sleep, which will give a variety to the
-character.
-
-Dancing and elegance of manners are very pleasing, if too great a stress
-is not laid on them. These acquirements catch the senses, and open the
-way to the heart; but unsupported by solid good qualities, their reign
-is short.
-
-The lively thoughtlessness of youth makes every young creature agreeable
-for the time; but when those years are flown, and sense is not
-substituted in the stead of vivacity, the follies of youth are acted
-over, and they never consider, that the things which please in their
-proper season, disgust out of it. It is very absurd to see a woman,
-whose brow time has marked with wrinkles, aping the manners of a girl in
-her teens.
-
-I do not think it foreign to the present subject to mention the trifling
-conversations women are mostly fond of. In general, they are prone to
-ridicule. As they lay the greatest stress on manners, the most
-respectable characters will not escape its lash, if deficient in this
-article. Ridicule has been, with some people, the boasted test of
-truth—if so, our sex ought to make wonderful improvements; but I am apt
-to think, they often exert this talent till they lose all perception of
-it themselves. Affectation, and not ignorance, is the fair game for
-ridicule; and even affectation some good-natured persons will spare. We
-should never give pain without a design to amend.
-
-Exterior accomplishments are not to be despised, if the acquiring of
-them does not satisfy the possessors, and prevent their cultivating the
-more important ones.
-
-
-
-
- ARTIFICIAL MANNERS.
-
-
-It may be thought, that artificial manners and exterior accomplishments
-are much the same; but I think the former take a far wider range, and
-are materially different. The one arises from affectation, and the other
-seems only an error in judgment.
-
-The emotions of the mind often appear conspicuous in the countenance and
-manner. These emotions, when they arise from sensibility and virtue, are
-inexpressibly pleasing. But it is easier to copy the cast of
-countenance, than to cultivate the virtues which animate and improve it.
-
-How many people are like whitened sepulchres, and careful only about
-appearances! yet if we are too anxious to gain the approbation of the
-world, we must often forfeit our own.
-
-How bewitching is that humble softness of manners which humility gives
-birth to, and how faint are the imitations of affectation! That
-gentleness of behaviour, which makes us courteous to all, and that
-benevolence, which makes us loth to offend any, and studious to please
-every creature, is sometimes copied by the polite; but how aukward is
-the copy! The warmest professions of regard are prostituted on all
-occasions. No distinctions are made, and the esteem which is only due to
-merit, appears to be lavished on all—Nay, affection is affected; at
-least, the language is borrowed, when there is no glow of it in the
-heart. Civility is due to all, but regard or admiration should never be
-expressed when it is not felt.
-
-As humility gives the most pleasing cast to the countenance, so from
-sincerity arises that artlessness of manners which is so engaging. She
-who suffers herself to be seen as she really is, can never be thought
-affected. She is not solicitous to act a part; her endeavour is not to
-hide; but correct her failings, and her face has of course that beauty,
-which an attention to the mind only gives. I never knew a person really
-ugly, who was not foolish or vicious; and I have seen the most beautiful
-features deformed by passion and vice. It is true, regular features
-strike at first; but it is a well ordered mind which occasions those
-turns of expression in the countenance, which make a lasting impression.
-
-Feeling is ridiculous when affected; and even when felt, ought not to be
-displayed. It will appear if genuine; but when pushed forward to notice,
-it is obvious vanity has rivalled sorrow, and that the prettiness of the
-thing is thought of. Let the manners arise from the mind, and let there
-be no disguise for the genuine emotions of the heart.
-
-Things merely ornamental are soon disregarded, and disregard can
-scarcely be borne when there is no internal support.
-
-To have in this uncertain world some stay, which cannot be undermined,
-is of the utmost consequence; and this stay it is, which gives that
-dignity to the manners, which shews that a person does not depend on
-mere human applause for comfort and satisfaction.
-
-
-
-
- DRESS.
-
-
-Many able pens have dwelt on the peculiar foibles of our sex. We have
-been equally desired to avoid the two extremes in dress, and the
-necessity of cleanliness has been insisted on, “As from the body’s
-purity the mind receives a sympathetic aid.”
-
-By far too much of a girl’s time is taken up in dress. This is an
-exterior accomplishment; but I chose to consider it by itself. The body
-hides the mind, and it is, in its turn, obscured by the drapery. I hate
-to see the frame of a picture so glaring, as to catch the eye and divide
-the attention. Dress ought to adorn the person, and not rival it. It may
-be simple, elegant, and becoming, without being expensive; and
-ridiculous fashions disregarded, while singularity is avoided. The
-beauty of dress (I shall raise astonishment by saying so) is its not
-being conspicuous one way or the other; when it neither distorts, or
-hides the human form by unnatural protuberances. If ornaments are much
-studied, a consciousness of being well dressed will appear in the
-face—and surely this mean pride does not give much sublimity to it.
-
-“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” And how much
-conversation does dress furnish, which surely cannot be very improving
-or entertaining.
-
-It gives rise to envy, and contests for trifling superiority, which do
-not render a woman very respectable to the other sex.
-
-Arts are used to obtain money; and much is squandered away, which if
-saved for charitable purposes, might alleviate the distress of many poor
-families, and soften the heart of the girl who entered into such scenes
-of woe.
-
-In the article of dress may be included the whole tribe of
-beauty-washes, cosmetics, Olympian dew, oriental herbs, liquid bloom,
-and the paint which enlivened Ninon’s face, and bid defiance to time.
-These numerous and essential articles are advertised in so ridiculous a
-style, that the rapid sale of them is a very severe reflection on the
-understanding of those females who encourage it. The dew and herbs, I
-imagine, are very harmless, but I do not know whether the same may be
-said of the paint. White is certainly very prejudicial to the health,
-and never can be made to resemble nature. The red, too, takes off from
-the expression of the countenance, and the beautiful glow which modesty,
-affection, or any other emotion of the mind, gives, can never be seen.
-It is not “a mind-illumined face.” “The body does not charm, because the
-mind is seen,” but just the contrary; and if caught by it a man marries
-a woman thus disguised, he may chance not to be satisfied with her real
-person. A made-up face may strike visitors, but will certainly disgust
-domestic friends. And one obvious inference is drawn, truth is not
-expected to govern the inhabitant of so artificial a form. The false
-life with which rouge animates the eyes, is not of the most delicate
-kind; nor does a woman’s dressing herself in a way to attract
-languishing glances, give us the most advantageous opinion of the purity
-of her mind.
-
-I forgot to mention powder among the deceptions. It is a pity that it
-should be so generally worn. The most beautiful ornament of the features
-is disguised, and the shade it would give to the countenance entirely
-lost. The color of every person’s hair generally suits the complexion,
-and is calculated to set it off. What absurdity then do they run into,
-who use red, blue, and yellow powder!—And what a false taste does it
-exhibit!
-
-The quantity of pomatum is often disgusting. We laugh at the Hottentots,
-and in some things adopt their customs.
-
-Simplicity of Dress, and unaffected manners, should go together. They
-demand respect, and will be admired by people of taste, even when love
-is out of the question.
-
-
-
-
- THE FINE ARTS.
-
-
-Music and painting, and many other ingenious arts, are now brought to
-great perfection, and afford the most rational and delicate pleasure.
-
-It is easy to find out if a young person has a taste for them. If they
-have, do not suffer it to lie dormant. Heaven kindly bestowed it, and a
-great blessing it is; but, like all other blessings, may be perverted:
-yet the intrinsic value is not lessened by the perversion. Should nature
-have been a niggard to them in this respect, persuade them to be silent,
-and not feign raptures they do not feel; for nothing can be more
-ridiculous.
-
-In music I prefer expression to execution. The simple melody of some
-artless airs has often soothed my mind, when it has been harrassed by
-care; and I have been raised from the very depths of sorrow, by the
-sublime harmony of some of Handel’s compositions. I have been lifted
-above this little scene of grief and care, and mused on Him, from whom
-all bounty flows.
-
-A person must have sense, taste, and sensibility, to render their music
-interesting. The nimble dance of the fingers may raise wonder, but not
-delight.
-
-As to drawing, those cannot be really charmed by it, who do not observe
-the beauties of nature, and even admire them.
-
-If a person is fond of tracing the effects of the passions, and marking
-the appearances they give to the countenance, they will be glad to see
-characters displayed on canvass, and enter into the spirit of them; but
-if by them the book of nature has not been read, their admiration is
-childish.
-
-Works of fancy are very amusing, if a girl has a lively fancy; but if
-she makes others do the greatest part of them, and only wishes for the
-credit of doing them, do not encourage her.
-
-Writing may be termed a fine art; and, I am sure, it is a very useful
-one. The style in particular deserves attention. Young people are very
-apt to substitute words for sentiments, and clothe mean thoughts in
-pompous diction. Industry and time are necessary to cure this, and will
-often do it. Children should be led into correspondences, and methods
-adopted to make them write down their sentiments, and they should be
-prevailed on to relate the stories they have read in their own words.
-Writing well is of great consequence in life as to our temporal
-interest, and of still more to the mind; as it teaches a person to
-arrange their thoughts, and digest them. Besides, it forms the only true
-basis of rational and elegant conversation.
-
-Reading, and such arts as have been already mentioned, would fill up the
-time, and prevent a young person’s being lost in dissipation, which
-enervates the mind, and often leads to improper connections. When habits
-are fixed, and a character in some measure formed, the entering into the
-busy world, so far from being dangerous, is useful. Knowledge will
-imperceptibly be acquired, and the taste improved, if admiration is not
-more sought for than improvement. For those seldom make observation who
-are full of themselves.
-
-
-
-
- READING.
-
-
-It is an old, but a very true observation, that the human mind must ever
-be employed. A relish for reading, or any of the fine arts, should be
-cultivated very early in life; and those who reflect can tell, of what
-importance it is for the mind to have some resource in itself, and not
-to be entirely dependant on the senses for employment and amusement. If
-it unfortunately is so, it must submit to meanness, and often to vice,
-in order to gratify them. The wisest and best are too much under their
-influence; and the endeavouring to conquer them, when reason and virtue
-will not give their sanction, constitutes great part of the warfare of
-life. What support, then, have they who are all senses, and who are full
-of schemes, which terminate in temporal objects?
-
-Reading is the most rational employment, if people seek food for the
-understanding, and do not read merely to remember words; or with a view
-to quote celebrated authors, and retail sentiments they do not
-understand or feel. Judicious books enlarge the mind and improve the
-heart, though some, by them, “are made coxcombs whom nature meant for
-fools.”
-
-Those productions which give a wrong account of the human passions, and
-the various accidents of life, ought not to be read before the judgment
-is formed, or at least exercised. Such accounts are one great cause of
-the affectation of young women. Sensibility is described and praised,
-and the effects of it represented in a way so different from nature,
-that those who imitate it must make themselves very ridiculous. A false
-taste is acquired, and sensible books appear dull and insipid after
-those superficial performances, which obtain their full end if they can
-keep the mind in a continual ferment. Gallantry is made the only
-interesting subject with the novelist; reading, therefore, will often
-co-operate to make his fair admirers insignificant.
-
-I do not mean to recommend books of an abstracted or grave cast. There
-are in our language many, in which instruction and amusement are
-blended; the Adventurer is of this kind. I mention this book on account
-of its beautiful allegories and affecting tales, and similar ones may
-easily be selected. Reason strikes most forcibly when illustrated by the
-brilliancy of fancy. The sentiments which are scattered may be observed,
-and when they are relished, and the mind set to work, it may be allowed
-to chuse books for itself, for every thing will then instruct.
-
-I would have every one try to form an opinion of an author themselves,
-though modesty may restrain them from mentioning it. Many are so anxious
-to have the reputation of taste, that they only praise the authors whose
-merit is indisputable. I am sick of hearing of the sublimity of Milton,
-the elegance and harmony of Pope, and the original, untaught genius of
-Shakespear. These cursory remarks are made by some who know nothing of
-nature, and could not enter into the spirit of those authors, or
-understand them.
-
-A florid style mostly passes with the ignorant for fine writing; many
-sentences are admired that have no meaning in them, though they contain
-“words of thundering sound,” and others that have nothing to recommend
-them but sweet and musical terminations.
-
-Books of theology are not calculated for young persons; religion is best
-taught by example. The Bible should be read with particular respect, and
-they should not be taught reading by so sacred a book; lest they might
-consider that as a task, which ought to be a source of the most exalted
-satisfaction.
-
-It may be observed, that I recommend the mind’s being put into a proper
-train, and then left to itself. Fixed rules cannot be given, it must
-depend on the nature and strength of the understanding; and those who
-observe it can best tell what kind of cultivation will improve it. The
-mind is not, cannot be created by the teacher, though it may be
-cultivated, and its real powers found out.
-
-The active spirits of youth may make time glide away without
-intellectual enjoyments; but when the novelty of the scene is worn off,
-the want of them will be felt, and nothing else can fill up the void.
-The mind is confined to the body, and must sink into sensuality; for it
-has nothing to do but to provide for it, “how it shall eat and drink,
-and wherewithal it shall be clothed.”
-
-All kinds of refinement have been found fault with for increasing our
-cares and sorrows; yet surely the contrary effect also arises from them.
-Taste and thought open many sources of pleasure, which do not depend on
-fortune.
-
-No employment of the mind is a sufficient excuse for neglecting domestic
-duties, and I cannot conceive that they are incompatible. A woman may
-fit herself to be the companion and friend of a man of sense, and yet
-know how to take care of his family.
-
-
-
-
- BOARDING-SCHOOLS.
-
-
-If a mother has leisure and good sense, and more than one daughter, I
-think she could best educate them herself; but as many family reasons
-render it necessary sometimes to send them from home, boarding-schools
-are fixed on. I must own it is my opinion, that the manners are too much
-attended to in all schools; and in the nature of things it cannot be
-otherwise, as the reputation of the house depends upon it, and most
-people can judge of them. The temper is neglected, the same lessons are
-taught to all, and some get a smattering of things they have not
-capacity ever to understand; few things are learnt thoroughly, but many
-follies contracted, and an immoderate fondness for dress among the rest.
-
-To prepare a woman to fulfil the important duties of a wife and mother,
-are certainly the objects that should be in view during the early period
-of life; yet accomplishments are most thought of, and they, and
-all-powerful beauty, generally gain the heart; and as the keeping of it
-is not considered of until it is lost, they are deemed of the most
-consequence. A sensible governess cannot attend to the minds of the
-number she is obliged to have. She may have been many years struggling
-to get established, and when fortune smiles, does not chuse to lose the
-opportunity of providing for old age; therefore continues to enlarge her
-school, with a view to accumulate a competency for that purpose.
-Domestic concerns cannot possibly be made a part of their employment, or
-proper conversations often entered on. Improper books will by stealth be
-introduced, and the bad example of one or two vicious children, in the
-play-hours, infect a number. Their gratitude and tenderness are not
-called forth in the way they might be by maternal affection. Many
-miseries does a girl of a mild disposition suffer, which a tender parent
-could guard her from. I shall not contest about the graces, but the
-virtues are best learnt at home, if a mother will give up her time and
-thoughts to the task; but if she cannot, they should be sent to school;
-for people who do not manage their children well, and have not large
-fortunes, must leave them often with servants, where they are in danger
-of still greater corruptions.
-
-
-
-
- THE TEMPER.
-
-
-The forming of the temper ought to be the continual thought, and the
-first task of a parent or teacher. For to speak moderately, half the
-miseries of life arise from peevishness, or a tyrannical domineering
-temper. The tender, who are so by nature, or those whom religion has
-moulded with so heavenly a disposition, give way for the sake of
-peace—yet still this giving way undermines their domestic comfort, and
-stops the current of affection; they labor for patience, and labor is
-ever painful.
-
-The governing of our temper is truly the business of our whole lives;
-but surely it would very much assist us if we were early put into the
-right road. As it is, when reason gains some strength, she has mountains
-of rubbish to remove, or perhaps exerts all her powers to justify the
-errors of folly and passion, rather than root them out.
-
-A constant attention to the management of the temper produces gentleness
-and humility, and is practised on all occasions, as it is not done “to
-be seen of men.” This meek spirit arises from good sense and resolution,
-and should not be confounded with indolence and timidity; weaknesses of
-mind, which often pass for good nature. She who submits, without
-conviction, to a parent or husband, will as unreasonably tyrannise over
-her servants; for slavish fear and tyranny go together. Resentment,
-indeed, may and will be felt occasionally by the best of human beings;
-yet humility will soon conquer it, and convert scorn and contempt into
-pity, and drive out that hasty pride which is always guarding Self from
-insult; which takes fire on the most trivial occasions, and which will
-not admit of a superior, or even an equal. With such a temper is often
-joined that bashful aukwardness which arises from ignorance, and is
-frequently termed diffidence; but which does not, in my opinion, deserve
-such a distinction. True humility is not innate, but like every other
-good quality must be cultivated. Reflections on miscarriages of conduct,
-and mistakes in opinion, sink it deep into the mind; especially if those
-miscarriages and mistakes have been a cause of pain—when we smart for
-our folly we remember it.
-
-Few people look into their own hearts, or think of their tempers, though
-they severely censure others, on whose side they say the fault always
-lies. Now I am apt to believe, that there is not a temper in the world
-which does not need correction, and of course attention. Those who are
-termed good-humored, are frequently giddy, indolent, and insensible; yet
-because the society they mix with appear seldom displeased with a person
-who does not contest, and will laugh off an affront, they imagine
-themselves pleasing, when they are only not disagreeable. Warm tempers
-are too easily irritated. The one requires a spur, the other a rein.
-Health of mind, as well as body, must in general be obtained by patient
-submission to self-denial, and disagreeable operations.
-
-If the presence of the Deity be inculcated and dwelt on till an habitual
-reverence is established in the mind, it will check the sallies of anger
-and sneers of peevishness, which corrode our peace, and render us
-wretched, without any claim to pity.
-
-The wisdom of the Almighty has so ordered things, that one cause
-produces many effects. While we are looking into another’s mind, and
-forming their temper, we are insensibly correcting our own; and every
-act of benevolence which we exert to our fellow-creatures, does
-ourselves the most essential services. Active virtue fits us for the
-society of more exalted beings. Our philanthrophy is a proof, we are
-told, that we are capable of loving our Creator. Indeed this divine
-love, or charity, appears to me the principal trait that remains of the
-illustrious image of the Deity, which was originally stampt on the soul,
-and which is to be renewed. Exalted views will raise the mind above
-trifling cares, and the many little weaknesses, which make us a torment
-to ourselves and others. Our temper will gradually improve, and vanity,
-which “the creature is made subject to,” has not an entire dominion.
-
-But I have digressed. A judicious parent can only manage a child in this
-important article; and example will best enforce precept.
-
-Be careful, however, not to make hypocrites; smothered flames will blaze
-out with more violence for having been kept down. Expect not to do all
-yourself; experience must enable the child to assist you; you can only
-lay the foundation, or prevent bad propensities from settling into
-habits.
-
-
-
-
-UNFORTUNATE SITUATION OF FEMALES, FASHIONABLY EDUCATED, AND LEFT WITHOUT
- A FORTUNE.
-
-
-I have hitherto only spoken of those females, who will have a provision
-made for them by their parents. But many who have been well, or at least
-fashionably educated, are left without a fortune, and if they are not
-entirely devoid of delicacy, they must frequently remain single.
-
-Few are the modes of earning a subsistence, and those very humiliating.
-Perhaps to be an humble companion to some rich old cousin, or what is
-still worse, to live with strangers, who are so intolerably tyrannical,
-that none of their own relations can bear to live with them, though they
-should even expect a fortune in reversion. It is impossible to enumerate
-the many hours of anguish such a person must spend. Above the servants,
-yet considered by them as a spy, and ever reminded of her inferiority
-when in conversation with the superiors. If she cannot condescend to
-mean flattery, she has not a chance of being a favorite; and should any
-of the visitors take notice of her, and she for a moment forget her
-subordinate state, she is sure to be reminded of it.
-
-Painfully sensible of unkindness, she is alive to every thing, and many
-sarcasms reach her, which were perhaps directed another way. She is
-alone, shut out from equality and confidence, and the concealed anxiety
-impairs her constitution; for she must wear a cheerful face, or be
-dismissed. The being dependant on the caprice of a fellow-creature,
-though certainly very necessary in this state of discipline, is yet a
-very bitter corrective, which we would fain shrink from.
-
-A teacher at a school is only a kind of upper servant, who has more work
-than the menial ones.
-
-A governess to young ladies is equally disagreeable. It is ten to one if
-they meet with a reasonable mother; and if she is not so, she will be
-continually finding fault to prove she is not ignorant, and be
-displeased if her pupils do not improve, but angry if the proper methods
-are taken to make them do so. The children treat them with disrespect,
-and often with insolence. In the mean time life glides away, and the
-spirits with it; “and when youth and genial years are flown,” they have
-nothing to subsist on; or, perhaps, on some extraordinary occasion, some
-small allowance may be made for them, which is thought a great charity.
-
-The few trades which are left, are now gradually falling into the hands
-of the men, and certainly they are not very respectable.
-
-It is hard for a person who has a relish for polished society, to herd
-with the vulgar, or to condescend to mix with her former equals when she
-is considered in a different light. What unwelcome heart-breaking
-knowledge is then poured in on her! I mean a view of the selfishness and
-depravity of the world; for every other acquirement is a source of
-pleasure, though they may occasion temporary inconveniences. How cutting
-is the contempt she meets with!—A young mind looks round for love and
-friendship; but love and friendship fly from poverty: expect them not if
-you are poor! The mind must then sink into meanness, and accommodate
-itself to its new state, or dare to be unhappy. Yet I think no
-reflecting person would give up the experience and improvement they have
-gained, to have avoided the misfortunes; on the contrary, they are
-thankfully ranked amongst the choicest blessings of life, when we are
-not under their immediate pressure.
-
-How earnestly does a mind full of sensibility look for disinterested
-friendship, and long to meet with good unalloyed. When fortune smiles
-they hug the dear delusion; but dream not that it is one. The painted
-cloud disappears suddenly, the scene is changed, and what an aching void
-is left in the heart! a void which only religion can fill up—and how few
-seek this internal comfort!
-
-A woman, who has beauty without sentiment, is in great danger of being
-seduced; and if she has any, cannot guard herself from painful
-mortifications. It is very disagreeable to keep up a continual reserve
-with men she has been formerly familiar with; yet if she places
-confidence, it is ten to one but she is deceived. Few men seriously
-think of marrying an inferior; and if they have honor enough not to take
-advantage of the artless tenderness of a woman who loves, and thinks not
-of the difference of rank, they do not undeceive her until she has
-anticipated happiness, which, contrasted with her dependant situation,
-appears delightful. The disappointment is severe; and the heart receives
-a wound which does not easily admit of a compleat cure, as the good that
-is missed is not valued according to its real worth: for fancy drew the
-picture, and grief delights to create food to feed on.
-
-If what I have written should be read by parents, who are now going on
-in thoughtless extravagance, and anxious only that their daughters may
-be _genteelly educated_, let them consider to what sorrows they expose
-them; for I have not over-coloured the picture.
-
-Though I warn parents to guard against leaving their daughters to
-encounter so much misery; yet if a young woman falls into it, she ought
-not to be discontented. Good must ultimately arise from every thing, to
-those who look beyond this infancy of their being; and here the comfort
-of a good conscience is our only stable support. The main business of
-our lives is to learn to be virtuous; and He who is training us up for
-immortal bliss, knows best what trials will contribute to make us so;
-and our resignation and improvement will render us respectable to
-ourselves, and to that Being, whose approbation is of more value than
-life itself. It is true, tribulation produces anguish, and we would fain
-avoid the bitter cup, though convinced its effects would be the most
-salutary. The Almighty is then the kind parent, who chastens and
-educates, and indulges us not when it would tend to our hurt. He is
-compassion itself, and never wounds but to heal, when the ends of
-correction are answered.
-
-
-
-
- LOVE.
-
-
-I think there is not a subject that admits so little of reasoning on as
-love; nor can rules be laid down that will not appear to lean too much
-one way or the other. Circumstances must, in a great measure, govern the
-conduct in this particular; yet who can be a judge in their own case?
-Perhaps, before they begin to consider the matter, they see through the
-medium of passion, and its suggestions are often mistaken for those of
-reason. We can no other way account for the absurd matches we every day
-have an opportunity of observing; for in this respect, even the most
-sensible men and women err. A variety of causes will occasion an
-attachment; an endeavour to supplant another, or being by some accident
-confined to the society of one person. Many have found themselves
-entangled in an affair of honor, who only meant to fill up the heavy
-hours in an amusing way, or raise jealousy in some other bosom.
-
-It is a difficult task to write on a subject when our own passions are
-likely to blind us. Hurried away by our feelings, we are apt to set
-those things down as general maxims, which only our partial experience
-gives rise to. Though it is not easy to say how a person should act
-under the immediate influence of passion, yet they certainly have no
-excuse who are actuated only by vanity, and deceive by an equivocal
-behaviour in order to gratify it. There are quite as many male coquets
-as female, and they are far more pernicious pests to society, as their
-sphere of action is larger, and they are less exposed to the censure of
-the world. A smothered sigh, downcast look, and the many other little
-arts which are played off, may give extreme pain to a sincere, artless
-woman, though she cannot resent, or complain of, the injury. This kind
-of trifling, I think, much more inexcusable than inconstancy; and why it
-is so, appears so obvious, I need not point it out.
-
-People of sense and reflection are most apt to have violent and constant
-passions, and to be preyed on by them. Neither can they, for the sake of
-present pleasure, bear to act in such a manner, as that the retrospect
-should fill them with confusion and regret. Perhaps a delicate mind is
-not susceptible of a greater degree of misery, putting guilt out of the
-question, than what must arise from the consciousness of loving a person
-whom their reason does not approve. This, I am persuaded, has often been
-the case; and the passion must either be rooted out, or the continual
-allowances and excuses that are made will hurt the mind, and lessen the
-respect for virtue. Love, unsupported by esteem, must soon expire, or
-lead to depravity; as, on the contrary, when a worthy person is the
-object, it is the greatest incentive to improvement, and has the best
-effect on the manners and temper. We should always try to fix in our
-minds the rational grounds we have for loving a person, that we may be
-able to recollect them when we feel disgust or resentment; we should
-then habitually practise forbearance, and the many petty disputes which
-interrupt domestic peace would be avoided. A woman cannot reasonably be
-unhappy, if she is attached to a man of sense and goodness, though he
-may not be all she could wish.
-
-I am very far from thinking love irresistible, and not to be conquered.
-“If weak women go astray,” it is they, and not the stars, that are to be
-blamed. A resolute endeavour will almost always overcome difficulties. I
-knew a woman very early in life warmly attached to an agreeable man, yet
-she saw his faults; his principles were unfixed, and his prodigal turn
-would have obliged her to have restrained every benevolent emotion of
-her heart. She exerted her influence to improve him, but in vain did she
-for years try to do it. Convinced of the impossibility, she determined
-not to marry him, though she was forced to encounter poverty and its
-attendants.
-
-It is too universal a maxim with novelists, that love is felt but once;
-though it appears to me, that the heart which is capable of receiving an
-impression at all, and can distinguish, will turn to a new object when
-the first is found unworthy. I am convinced it is practicable, when a
-respect for goodness has the first place in the mind, and notions of
-perfection are not affixed to constancy. Many ladies are delicately
-miserable, and imagine that they are lamenting the loss of a lover, when
-they are full of self-applause, and reflections on their own superior
-refinement. Painful feelings are prolonged beyond their natural course,
-to gratify our desire of appearing heroines, and we deceive ourselves as
-well as others. When any sudden stroke of fate deprives us of those we
-love, we may not readily get the better of the blow; but when we find we
-have been led astray by our passions, and that it was our own
-imaginations which gave the high colouring to the picture, we may be
-certain time will drive it out of our minds. For we cannot often think
-of our folly without being displeased with ourselves, and such
-reflections are quickly banished. Habit and duty will co-operate, and
-religion may overcome what reason has in vain combated with; but
-refinement and romance are often confounded, and sensibility, which
-occasions this kind of inconstancy, is supposed to have the contrary
-effect.
-
-Nothing can more tend to destroy peace of mind, than platonic
-attachments. They are begun in false refinement, and frequently end in
-sorrow, if not in guilt. The two extremes often meet, and virtue carried
-to excess will sometimes lead to the opposite vice. Not that I mean to
-insinuate that there is no such thing as friendship between persons of
-different sexes; I am convinced of the contrary, I only mean to observe,
-that if a woman’s heart is disengaged, she should not give way to a
-pleasing delusion, and imagine she will be satisfied with the friendship
-of a man she admires, and prefers to the rest of the world. The heart is
-very treacherous, and if we do not guard its first emotions, we shall
-not afterwards be able to prevent its sighing for impossibilities. If
-there are any insuperable bars to an union in the common way, try to
-dismiss the dangerous tenderness, or it will undermine your comfort, and
-betray you into many errors. To attempt to raise ourselves above human
-beings is ridiculous; we cannot extirpate our passions, nor is it
-necessary that we should, though it may be wise sometimes not to stray
-too near a precipice, lest we fall over before we are aware. We cannot
-avoid much vexation and sorrow, if we are ever so prudent; it is then
-the part of wisdom to enjoy those gleams of sunshine which do not
-endanger our innocence, or lead to repentance. Love gilds all the
-prospects of life, and though it cannot always exclude apathy, it makes
-many cares appear trifling. Dean Swift hated the world, and only loved
-particular persons; yet pride rivalled them. A foolish wish of rising
-superior to the common wants and desires of the human species made him
-singular, but not respectable. He sacrificed an amiable woman to his
-caprice, and made those shun his company who would have been entertained
-and improved by his conversation, had he loved any one as well as
-himself. Universal benevolence is the first duty, and we should be
-careful not to let any passion so engross our thoughts, as to prevent
-our practising it. After all the dreams of rapture, earthly pleasures
-will not fill the mind, or support it when they have not the sanction of
-reason, or are too much depended on. The tumult of passion will subside,
-and even the pangs of disappointment cease to be felt. But for the
-wicked there is a worm that never dies—a guilty conscience. While that
-calm satisfaction which resignation produces, which cannot be described,
-but may be attained, in some degree, by those who try to keep in the
-strait, though thorny path which leads to bliss, shall sanctify the
-sorrows, and dignify the character of virtue.
-
-
-
-
- MATRIMONY.
-
-
-Early marriages are, in my opinion, a stop to improvement. If we were
-born only “to draw nutrition, propagate and rot,” the sooner the end of
-creation was answered the better: but as women are here allowed to have
-souls, the soul ought to be attended to. In youth a woman endeavours to
-please the other sex, in order, generally speaking, to get married, and
-this endeavour calls forth all her powers. If she has had a tolerable
-education, the foundation only is laid, for the mind does not soon
-arrive at maturity, and should not be engrossed by domestic cares before
-any habits are fixed. The passions also have too much influence over the
-judgment to suffer it to direct her in this most important affair; and
-many women, I am persuaded, marry a man before they are twenty, whom
-they would have rejected some years after. Very frequently, when the
-education has been neglected, the mind improves itself, if it has
-leisure for reflection, and experience to reflect on; but how can this
-happen when they are forced to act before they have had time to think,
-or find that they are unhappily married? Nay, should they be so
-fortunate as to get a good husband, they will not set a proper value on
-him; he will be found much inferior to the lovers described in novels,
-and their want of knowledge makes them frequently disgusted with the
-man, when the fault is in human nature.
-
-When a woman’s mind has gained some strength, she will in all
-probability pay more attention to her actions than a girl can be
-expected to do; and if she thinks seriously, she will chuse for a
-companion a man of principle; and this perhaps young people do not
-sufficiently attend to, or see the necessity of doing. A woman of
-feeling must be very much hurt if she is obliged to keep her children
-out of their father’s company, that their morals may not be injured by
-his conversation; and besides, the whole arduous task of education
-devolves on her, and in such a case it is not very practicable.
-Attention to the education of children must be irksome, when life
-appears to have so many charms, and its pleasures are not found
-fallacious. Many are but just returned from a boarding-school, when they
-are placed at the head of a family, and how fit they are to manage it, I
-leave the judicious to judge. Can they improve a child’s understanding,
-when they are scarcely out of the state of childhood themselves?
-
-Dignity of manners, too, and proper reserve are often wanting. The
-constant attendant on too much familiarity is contempt. Women are often
-before marriage prudish, and afterwards they think they may innocently
-give way to fondness, and overwhelm the poor man with it. They think
-they have a legal right to his affections, and grow remiss in their
-endeavours to please. There are a thousand nameless decencies which good
-sense gives rise to, and artless proofs of regard which flow from the
-heart, and will reach it, if it is not depraved. It has ever occurred to
-me, that it was sufficient for a woman to receive caresses, and not
-bestow them. She ought to distinguish between fondness and tenderness.
-The latter is the sweetest cordial of life; but, like all other
-cordials, should be reserved for particular occasions; to exhilarate the
-spirits, when depressed by sickness, or lost in sorrow. Sensibility will
-best instruct. Some delicacies can never be pointed out or described,
-though they sink deep into the heart, and render the hours of distress
-supportable.
-
-A woman should have so proper a pride, as not easily to forget a
-deliberate affront; though she must not too hastily resent any little
-coolness. We cannot always feel alike, and all are subject to changes of
-temper without an adequate cause.
-
-Reason must often be called in to fill up the vacuums of life; but too
-many of our sex suffer theirs to lie dormant. A little ridicule and
-smart turn of expression, often confutes without convincing; and tricks
-are played off to raise tenderness, even while they are forfeiting
-esteem.
-
-Women are said to be the weaker vessel, and many are the miseries which
-this weakness brings on them. Men have in some respects very much the
-advantage. If they have a tolerable understanding, it has a chance to be
-cultivated. They are forced to see human nature as it is, and are not
-left to dwell on the pictures of their own imaginations. Nothing, I am
-sure, calls forth the faculties so much as the being obliged to struggle
-with the world; and this is not a woman’s province in a married state.
-Her sphere of action is not large, and if she is not taught to look into
-her own heart, how trivial are her occupations and pursuits! What little
-arts engross and narrow her mind! “Cunning fills up the mighty void of
-sense,” and cares, which do not improve the heart or understanding, take
-up her attention. Of course, she falls a prey to childish anger, and
-silly capricious humors, which render her rather insignificant than
-vicious.
-
-In a comfortable situation, a cultivated mind is necessary to render a
-woman contented; and in a miserable one, it is her only consolation. A
-sensible, delicate woman, who by some strange accident, or mistake, is
-joined to a fool or a brute, must be wretched beyond all names of
-wretchedness, if her views are confined to the present scene. Of what
-importance, then, is intellectual improvement, when our comfort here,
-and happiness hereafter, depends upon it.
-
-Principles of religion should be fixed, and the mind not left to
-fluctuate in the time of distress, when it can receive succour from no
-other quarter. The conviction that every thing is working for our good
-will scarcely produce resignation, when we are deprived of our dearest
-hopes. How they can be satisfied, who have not this conviction, I cannot
-conceive; I rather think they will turn to some worldly support, and
-fall into folly, if not vice. For a little refinement only leads a woman
-into the wilds of romance, if she is not religious; nay, more, there is
-no true sentiment without it, nor perhaps any other effectual check to
-the passions.
-
-
-
-
- DESULTORY THOUGHTS.
-
-
-As every kind of domestic concern and family business is properly a
-woman’s province, to enable her to discharge her duty she should study
-the different branches of it. Nothing is more useful in a family than a
-little knowledge of physic, sufficient to make the mistress of it a
-judicious nurse. Many a person, who has had a sensible physician to
-attend them, have been lost for want of the other; for tenderness,
-without judgment, sometimes does more harm than good.
-
-The ignorant imagine there is something very mysterious in the practice
-of physic. They expect a medicine to work like a charm, and know nothing
-of the progress and crisis of disorders. The keeping of the patient low
-appears cruel, all kind of regimen is disregarded, and though the fever
-rages, they cannot be persuaded not to give them inflammatory food. “How
-(say they) can a person get well without nourishment?”
-
-The mind, too, should be soothed at the same time; and indeed, whenever
-it sinks, soothing is, at first, better than reasoning. The slackened
-nerves are not to be braced by words. When a mind is worried by care, or
-oppressed by sorrow, it cannot in a moment grow tranquil, and attend to
-the voice of reason.
-
-St. Paul says, “No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous; but
-grievous: nevertheless, afterwards it yieldeth the peaceable fruits of
-righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” It is plain, from
-these words of the Apostle, and from many other parts of Scripture, that
-afflictions are necessary to teach us true wisdom, and that in spite of
-this conviction, men would fain avoid the bitter draught, though certain
-that the drinking of it would be conducive to the purifying of their
-hearts. He who made us must know what will tend to our ultimate good;
-yet still all this is grievous, and the heart will throb with anguish
-when deprived of what it loves, and the tongue can scarcely faulter out
-an acquiescence to the Divine Will, when it is so contrary to our own.
-Due allowance ought then to be made for human infirmities, and the
-unhappy should be considered as objects of compassion, rather than
-blame. But in a very different stile does consolatory advice generally
-run; for instead of pouring oil or wine into the wound, it tends to
-convince the unfortunate persons that they are weak as well as unhappy.
-I am apt to imagine, that sorrow and resignation are not incompatible;
-and that though religion cannot make some disappointments pleasant, it
-prevents our repining, even while we smart under them. Did our feelings
-and reason always coincide, our passage through this world could not
-justly be termed a warfare, and faith would no longer be a virtue. It is
-our preferring the things that are not seen, to those which are, that
-proves us to be the heirs of promise.
-
-On the sacred word of the Most High, we rely with firm assurance, that
-the sufferings of the present life will work out a far more exceeding
-and eternal weight of glory; yet still they are allowed to be
-afflictions, which, though temporary, must still be grievous.
-
-The difference between those who sorrow without hope, and those who look
-up to Heaven, is not that the one feel more than the other, for they may
-be both equally depressed; but the latter think of the peaceable fruits
-which are to result from the discipline, and therefore patiently submit.
-
-I have almost run into a sermon,—and I shall not make an apology for it.
-
-Whatever contributes to make us compassionate and resolute, is of the
-utmost consequence; both these qualities are necessary, if we are
-confined to a sick chamber. Various are the misfortunes of life, and it
-may be the lot of most of us to see death in all its terrors, when it
-attacks a friend; yet even then we must exert our friendship, and try to
-chear the departing spirit.
-
-
-
-
- THE BENEFITS WHICH ARISE FROM DISAPPOINTMENTS.
-
-
-Most women, and men too, have no character at all. Just opinions and
-virtuous passions appear by starts, and while we are giving way to the
-love and admiration which those qualities raise, they are quite
-different creatures. It is reflection which forms habits, and fixes
-principles indelibly on the heart; without it, the mind is like a wreck
-drifted about by every squall. The passion that we think most of will
-soon rival all the rest; it is then in our power, this way, to
-strengthen our good dispositions, and in some measure to establish a
-character, which will not depend on every accidental impulse. To be
-convinced of truths, and yet not to feel or act up to them, is a common
-thing. Present pleasure drives all before it, and adversity is
-mercifully sent to force us to think.
-
-In the school of adversity we learn knowledge as well as virtue; yet we
-lament our hard fate, dwell on our disappointments, and never consider
-that our own wayward minds, and inconsistent hearts, require these
-needful correctives. Medicines are not sent to persons in health.
-
-It is a well-known remark, that our very wishes give us not our wish. I
-have often thought it might be set down as a maxim, that the greatest
-disappointment we can meet with is the gratification of our fondest
-wishes. But truth is sometimes not pleasant; we turn from it, and doat
-on an illusion; and if we were not in a probationary state, we should do
-well to thicken the cloud, rather than dispel it.
-
-There are some who delight in observing moral beauty, and their souls
-sicken when forced to view crimes and follies which could never hurt
-them. How numerous are the sorrows which reach such bosoms! They may
-truly be called _human creatures_; on every side they touch their
-fellow-mortals, and vibrate to the touch. Common humanity points out the
-important duties of our station; but sensibility (a kind of instinct,
-strengthened by reflection) can only teach the numberless minute things
-which give pain or pleasure.
-
-A benevolent mind often suffers more than the object it commiserates,
-and will bear an inconvenience itself to shelter another from it. It
-makes allowance for failings though it longs to meet perfection, which
-it seems formed to adore. The Author of all good continually calls
-himself, a God long-suffering; and those most resemble him who practice
-forbearance. Love and compassion are the most delightful feelings of the
-soul, and to exert them to all that breathe is the wish of the
-benevolent heart. To struggle with ingratitude and selfishness is
-grating beyond expression: and the sense we have of our weakness, though
-useful, is not pleasant. Thus it is with us, when we look for happiness,
-we meet with vexations: and if, now and then, we give way to tenderness,
-or any of the amiable passions, and taste pleasure, the mind, strained
-beyond its usual tone, falls into apathy. And yet we were made to be
-happy! But our passions will not contribute much to our bliss, till they
-are under the dominion of reason, and till that reason is enlightened
-and improved. Then sighing will cease, and all tears will be wiped away
-by that Being, in whose presence there is fulness of joy.
-
-A person of tenderness must ever have particular attachments, and ever
-be disappointed; yet still they must be attached, in spite of human
-frailty; for if the mind is not kept in motion by either hope or fear,
-it sinks into the dreadful state before-mentioned.
-
-I have very often heard it made a subject of ridicule, that when a
-person is disappointed in this world, they turn to the next. Nothing can
-be more natural than the transition; and it seems to me the scheme of
-Providence, that our finding things unsatisfactory here, should force us
-to think of the better country to which we are going.
-
-
-
-
- ON THE TREATMENT OF SERVANTS.
-
-
-The management of servants is a great part of the employment of a
-woman’s life; and her own temper depends very much on her behaviour to
-them.
-
-Servants are, in general, ignorant and cunning; we must consider their
-characters, if we would treat them properly, and continually practise
-forbearance. The same methods we use with children may be adopted with
-regard to them. Act uniformly, and never find fault without a just
-cause; and when there is, be positive, but not angry. A mind that is not
-too much engrossed by trifles, will not be discomposed by every little
-domestic disaster; and a thinking person can very readily make allowance
-for those faults which arise from want of reflection and education. I
-have seen the peace of a whole family disturbed by some trivial, cross
-accident, and hours spent in useless upbraidings about some mistake
-which would never have been thought of, but for the consequences that
-arose from it. An error in judgment or an accident should not be
-severely reprehended. It is a proof of wisdom to profit by experience,
-and not lament irremediable evils.
-
-A benevolent person must ever wish to see those around them comfortable,
-and try to be the cause of that comfort. The wide difference which
-education makes, I should suppose, would prevent familiarity in the way
-of equality; yet kindness must be shewn, if we are desirous that our
-domestics should be attached to our interest and persons. How pleasing
-it is to be attended with a smile of willingness, to be consulted when
-they are at a loss, and looked up to as a friend and benefactor when
-they are in distress. It is true we may often meet with ingratitude, but
-it ought not to discourage us; the refreshing showers of heaven
-fertilize the fields of the unworthy, as well as the just. We should
-nurse them in illness, and our superior judgment in those matters would
-often alleviate their pains.
-
-Above all, we owe them a good example. The ceremonials of religion, on
-their account, should be attended to; as they always reverence them to a
-superstitious degree, or else neglect them. We should not shock the
-faith of the meanest fellow-creature; nay more, we should comply with
-their prejudices; for their religious notions are so over-run with them,
-that they are not easily separated; and by trying to pluck up the tares,
-we may root up the wheat with them.
-
-The woman who gives way to caprice and ill-humour in the kitchen, cannot
-easily smooth her brow when her husband returns to his fire-side; nay,
-he may not only see the wrinkles of anger, but hear the disputes at
-second-hand. I heard a Gentleman say, it would break any man’s heart to
-hear his wife argue such a case. Men who are employed about things of
-consequence, think these affairs more insignificant than they really
-are; for the warmth with which we engage in any business increases its
-importance, and our not entering into them has the contrary effect.
-
-The behaviour of girls to servants is generally in extremes; too
-familiar or haughty. Indeed the one often produces the other, as a
-check, when the freedoms are troublesome.
-
-We cannot make our servants wise or good, but we may teach them to be
-decent and orderly; and order leads to some degree of morality.
-
-
-
-
- THE OBSERVANCE OF SUNDAY.
-
-
-The institution of keeping the seventh day holy was wisely ordered by
-Providence for two purposes. To rest the body, and call off the mind
-from the too eager pursuit of the shadows of this life, which, I am
-afraid, often obscure the prospect of futurity, and fix our thoughts on
-earth. A respect for this ordinance is, I am persuaded, of the utmost
-consequence to national religion. The vulgar have such a notion of it,
-that with them, going to church, and being religious, are almost
-synonymous terms. They are so lost in their senses, that if this day did
-not continually remind them, they would soon forget that there was a God
-in the world. Some forms are necessary to support vital religion, and
-without them it would soon languish, and at last expire.
-
-It is unfortunate, that this day is either kept with puritanical
-exactness, which renders it very irksome, or lost in dissipation and
-thoughtlessness. Either way is very prejudicial to the minds of children
-and servants, who ought not to be let run wild, not confined too
-strictly; and, above all, should not see their parents or masters
-indulge themselves in things which are generally thought wrong. I am
-fully persuaded, that servants have such a notion of card-playing, that
-where-ever it is practised of a Sunday their minds are hurt; and the
-barrier between good and evil in some measure broken down. Servants, who
-are accustomed to bodily labour, will fall into as laborious pleasures,
-if they are not gently restrained, and some substitute found out for
-them.
-
-Such a close attention to a family may appear to many very disagreeable;
-but the path of duty will be found pleasant after some time; and the
-passions being employed this way, will, by degrees, come under the
-subjection of reason. I mean not to be rigid, the obstructions which
-arise in the way of our duty, do not strike a speculatist; I know, too,
-that in the moment of action, even a well-disposed mind is often carried
-away by the present impulse, and that it requires some experience to be
-able to distinguish the dictates of reason from those of passion. The
-truth is seldom found out until the tumult is over; we then wake as from
-a dream, and when we survey what we have done, and feel the folly of it,
-we might call on reason and say, why sleepest thou? Yet though people
-are led astray by their passions, and even relapse after the most bitter
-repentance, they should not despair, but still try to regain the right
-road, and cultivate such habits as may assist them.
-
-I never knew much social virtue to reside in a house where the sabbath
-was grossly violated.
-
-
-
-
- ON THE MISFORTUNE OF FLUCTUATING PRINCIPLES.
-
-
-If we look for any comfort in friendship or society, we must associate
-with those who have fixed principles with respect to religion; for
-without them, repeated experience convinces me, the most shining
-qualities are unstable, and not to be depended on.
-
-It has often been a matter of surprise to me, that so few people examine
-the tenets of the religion they profess, or are christians through
-conviction. They have no anchor to rest on, nor any fixed chart to
-direct them in the doubtful voyage of life; how then can they hope to
-find the “haven of rest?” But they think not of it, and cannot be
-expected to forego present advantages. Noble actions must arise from
-noble thoughts and views; when they are confined to this world, they
-must be groveling.
-
-Faith, with respect to the promise of eternal happiness, can only enable
-us to combat with our passions, with a chance of victory. There are many
-who pay no attention to revelation, and more, perhaps, who have not any
-fixed belief in it. The sure word of comfort is neglected; and how
-people can live without it, I can scarcely conceive. For as the sun
-renews the face of nature, and chases away darkness from the world, so
-does this, still greater blessing, have the same effect on the mind, and
-enlightens and cheers it when every thing else fails.
-
-A true sense of our infirmities is the way to make us christians in the
-most extensive sense of the word. A mind depressed with a weight of
-weaknesses can only find comfort in the promises of the Gospel. The
-assistance there offered must raise the humble soul; and the account of
-the atonement that has been made, gives a rational ground for resting in
-hope until the toil of virtue is over, and faith has nothing to be
-exercised on.
-
-It is the fashion now for young men to be deists. And many a one has
-improper books sent adrift in a sea of doubts—of which there is no end.
-This is not a land of certainty; there is no confining the wandering
-reason, and but one clue to prevent its being lost in endless
-researches. Reason is indeed the heaven-lighted lamp in man, and may
-safely be trusted when not entirely depended on; but when it pretends to
-discover what is beyond its ken, it certainly stretches the line too
-far, and runs into absurdity. Some speculations are idle and others
-hurtful, as they raise pride, and turn the thoughts to subjects that
-ought to be left unexplored. With love and awe we should think of the
-High and Lofty One, that inhabiteth eternity! and not presume to say how
-He must exist who created us. How unfortunate it is, that man must sink
-into a brute, and not employ his mind, or else, by thinking, grow so
-proud, as often to imagine himself a superior being! It is not the
-doubts of profound thinkers that I here allude to, but the crude notions
-which young men sport away when together, and sometimes in the company
-of young women, to make them wonder at their superior wisdom! There
-cannot be any thing more dangerous to a mind, not accustomed to think,
-than doubts delivered in a ridiculing way. They never go deep enough to
-solve them, of course they stick by them; and though they might not
-influence their conduct, if a fear of the world prevents their being
-guilty of vices, yet their thoughts are not restrained, and they should
-be observed diligently, “For out of them are the issues of life.” A nice
-sense of right and wrong ought to be acquired, and then not only great
-vices will be avoided, but every little meanness; truth will reign in
-the inward parts, and mercy will attend her.
-
-I have indeed so much compassion for those young females who are
-entering into the world without fixed principles, that I would fain
-persuade them to examine a little into the matter. For though in the
-season of gaiety they may not feel the want of them, in that of distress
-where will they fly for succour? Even with this support, life is a labor
-of patience—a conflict; and the utmost we can gain is a small portion of
-peace, a kind of watchful tranquillity, that is liable to continual
-interruptions.
-
- “Then keep each passion down, however dear;
- “Trust me, the tender are the most severe.
- “Guard, while ’tis thine, thy philosophic ease,
- “And ask no joy but that of virtuous peace;
- “That bids defiance to the storms of fate:
- “High bliss is only for a higher state.”
- THOMSON.
-
-
-
-
- BENEVOLENCE.
-
-
-This first, and most amiable virtue, is often found in young persons
-that afterwards grow selfish; a knowledge of the arts of others, is an
-excuse to them for practicing the same; and because they have been
-deceived once, or have found objects unworthy of their charity—if any
-one appeals to their feelings, the formidable word Imposture instantly
-banishes the compassionate emotions, and silences conscience. I do not
-mean to confine the exercise of benevolence to alms-giving, though it is
-a very material part of it. Faith, hope, and charity ought to attend us
-in our passage through this world; but the two first leave us when we
-die, while the other is to be the constant inmate of our breast through
-all eternity. We ought not to suffer the heavenly spark to be quenched
-by selfishness; if we do, how can we expect it to revive, when the soul
-is disentangled from the body, and should be prepared for the realms of
-love? Forbearance and liberality of sentiment are the virtues of
-maturity. Children should be taught every thing in a positive way; and
-their own experience can only teach them afterwards to make distinctions
-and allowances. It is then the inferior part of benevolence that comes
-within their sphere of action, and it should not be suffered to sleep.
-Some part of the money that is allowed them for pocket-money, they
-should be encouraged to lay out this way, and the short-lived emotions
-of pity continually retraced ’till they grow into habits.
-
-I knew a child that would, when very young, sit down and cry if it met a
-poor person, after it had laid out its money in cakes; this occurred
-once or twice, and the tears were shed with additional distress every
-time; till at last it resisted the temptation, and saved the money.
-
-I think it a very good method for girls to have a certain allowance for
-cloaths. A mother can easily, without seeming to do it, observe how they
-spend it, and direct them accordingly. By these means they would learn
-the value of money, and be obliged to contrive. This would be a
-practical lesson of œconomy superior to all the theories that could be
-thought of. The having a fixed stipend, too, would enable them to be
-charitable, in the true sense of the word, as they would then give their
-own; and by denying themselves little ornaments, and doing their own
-work, they might increase the sum appropriated to charitable purposes.
-
-A lively principle of this kind would also overcome indolence; for I
-have known people wasteful and penurious at the same time; but the
-wastefulness was to spare themselves trouble, and others only felt the
-effects of their penury, to make the balance even.
-
-Women too often confine their love and charity to their own families.
-They fix not in their minds the precedency of moral obligations, or make
-their feelings give way to duty. Goodwill to all the human race should
-dwell in our bosoms, nor should love to individuals induce us to violate
-this first of duties, or make us sacrifice the interest of any
-fellow-creature, to promote that of another, whom we happen to be more
-partial to. A parent, under distressed circumstances, should be
-supported, even though it should prevent our saving a fortune for a
-child; nay more, should they be both in distress at the same time, the
-prior obligation should be first discharged.
-
-Under this head may be included the treatment of animals. Over them many
-children tyrannize with impunity; and find amusement in tormenting, or
-wantonly killing, any insect that comes in their way, though it does
-them no injury. I am persuaded, if they were told stories of them, and
-led to take an interest in their welfare and occupations, they would be
-tender to them; as it is, they think man the only thing of consequence
-in the creation. I once prevented a girl’s killing ants, for sport, by
-adapting Mr. Addison’s account of them to her understanding. Ever after
-she was careful not to tread on them, lest she should distress the whole
-community.
-
-Stories of insects and animals are the first that should rouse the
-childish passions, and exercise humanity; and then they will rise to
-man, and from him to his Maker.
-
-
-
-
- CARD-PLAYING.
-
-
-Card-playing is now the constant amusement, I may say employment, of
-young and old, in genteel life. After all the fatigue of the toilet,
-blooming girls are set down to card-tables, and the most unpleasing
-passions called forth. Avarice does not wait for grey hairs and
-wrinkles, but marks a countenance where the loves and graces ought to
-revel. The hours that should be spent in improving the mind, or in
-innocent mirth, are thus thrown away; and if the stake is not
-considerable enough to rouse the passions, lost in insipidity, and a
-habit acquired which may lead to serious mischief. Not to talk of
-gaming, many people play for more than they can well afford to lose, and
-this sours their temper. Cards are the universal refuge to which the
-idle and the ignorant resort, to pass life away, and to keep their
-inactive souls awake, by the tumult of hope and fear.
-
- “Unknown to them, when sensual pleasures cloy,
- “To fill the languid pause with finer joy;
- “Unknown those powers that raise the soul to flame,
- “Catch every nerve, and vibrate through the frame.”
-
-And, of course, this is their favourite amusement. Silent, stupid
-attention appears necessary; and too frequently little arts are
-practised which debase the character, and at best give it a trifling
-turn. Certainly nothing can be more absurd than permitting girls to
-acquire a fondness for cards. In youth the imagination is lively, and
-novelty gives charms to every scene; pleasure almost obtrudes itself,
-and the pliable mind and warm affections are easily wrought on. They
-want not those resources, which even respectable and sensible persons
-sometimes find necessary, when they see life, as it is unsatisfactory,
-and cannot anticipate pleasures, which they know will fade when nearly
-viewed. Youth is the season of activity, and should not be lost in
-listlessness. Knowledge ought to be acquired, a laudable ambition
-encouraged; and even the errors of passion may produce useful
-experience, expand the faculties, and teach them to know their own
-hearts. The most shining abilities, and the most amiable dispositions of
-the mind, require culture, and a proper situation, not only to ripen and
-improve them, but to guard them against the perversions of vice, and the
-contagious influence of bad examples.
-
-
-
-
- THE THEATRE.
-
-
-The amusements which this place afford are generally supposed the most
-rational, and are really so to a cultivated mind; yet one that is not
-quite formed may learn affectation at the theatre. Many of our admired
-tragedies are too full of declamation, and a false display of the
-passions. A heroine is often made to grieve ten or twenty years, and yet
-the unabated sorrow has not given her cheeks a pallid hue; she still
-inspires the most violent passion in every beholder, and her own yields
-not to time. The prominent features of a passion are easily copied,
-while the more delicate touches are overlooked. That start of
-Cordelia’s, when her father says, “I think that Lady is my daughter,”
-has affected me beyond measure, when I could unmoved hear Calista
-describe the cave in which she would live “Until her tears had washed
-her guilt away.”
-
-The principal characters are too frequently made to rise above human
-nature, or sink below it; and this occasions many false conclusions. The
-chief use of dramatic performances should be to teach us to discriminate
-characters; but if we rest in separating the good from the bad, we are
-very superficial observers. May I venture a conjecture?—I cannot help
-thinking, that every human creature has some spark of goodness, which
-their long-suffering and benevolent Father gives them an opportunity of
-improving, though they may perversely smother it before they cease to
-breathe.
-
-Death is treated in too slight a manner; and sought, when
-disappointments occur, with a degree of impatience, which proves that
-the main end of life has not been considered. That fearful punishment of
-sin, and convulsion of nature, is too often exposed to public view.
-Until very lately I never had the courage even to look at a person dying
-on the stage. The hour of death is not the time for the display of
-passions; nor do I think it natural it should: the mind is then
-dreadfully disturbed, and the trifling sorrows of this world not thought
-of. The deaths on the stage, in spite of the boasted sensibility of the
-age, seem to have much the same effect on a polite audience, as the
-execution of malefactors has on the mob that follow them to Tyburn.
-
-The worst species of immorality is inculcated, and life (which is to
-determine the fate of eternity) thrown away when a kingdom or mistress
-is lost. Patience and submission to the will of Heaven, and those
-virtues which render us useful to society, are not brought forward to
-view; nor can they occasion those surprising turns of fortune which most
-delight vulgar minds. The almost imperceptible progress of the passions,
-which Shakespeare has so finely delineated, are not sufficiently
-observed, though the start of the actor is applauded. Few tragedies, I
-think, will please a person of discernment, and their sensibility is
-sure to be hurt.
-
-Young persons, who are happily situated, do well to enter into
-fictitious distress; and if they have any judicious person to direct
-their judgment, it may be improved while their hearts are melted. Yet I
-would not have them confine their compassion to the distresses
-occasioned by love; and perhaps their feelings might more profitably be
-roused, if they were to see sometimes the complicated, misery of
-sickness and poverty, and weep for the beggar instead of the king.
-
-Comedy is not now so censurable as it was some years ago; and a chaste
-ear is not often shocked with indecencies. When follies are pointed out,
-and vanity ridiculed, it may be very improving; and perhaps the stage is
-the only place where ridicule is useful.
-
-What I have said is certainly only applicable to those who go to see the
-play, and not to shew themselves and waste time. The most insignificant
-amusement will afford instruction to thinking minds, and the most
-rational will be lost on a vacant one.
-
-Remarks on the actors are frequently very tiresome. It is a fashionable
-topic, and a thread-bare one; it requires great abilities, and a
-knowledge of nature, to be a competent judge; and those who do not enter
-into the spirit of the author, are not qualified to converse with
-confidence on the subject.
-
-
-
-
- PUBLIC PLACES.
-
-
-Under this head I rank all those places, which are open to an
-indiscriminate resort of company. There seems at present such a rage for
-pleasure, that when adversity does not call home the thoughts, the whole
-day is mostly spent in preparations and plans, or in actual dissipation.
-Solitude appears insupportable, and domestic comfort stupid. And though
-the amusements may not always be relished, the mind is so enervated it
-cannot exert itself to find out any other substitute. An immoderate
-fondness for dress is acquired, and many fashionable females spend half
-the night in going from one place to another to display their finery,
-repeat commonplace compliments, and raise envy in their acquaintance
-whom they endeavour to outshine. Women, who are engaged in those scenes,
-must spend more time in dress than they ought to do, and it will occupy
-their thoughts when they should be better employed.
-
-In the fine Lady how few traits do we observe of those affections which
-dignify human nature! If she has any maternal tenderness, it is of a
-childish kind. We cannot be too careful not to verge on this character;
-though she lives many years she is still a child in understanding, and
-of so little use to society, that her death would scarcely be observed.
-
-Dissipation leads to poverty, which cannot be patiently borne by those
-who have lived on the vain applause of others, on account of outward
-advantages; these were the things they imagined of most consequence, and
-of course they are tormented with false shame, when by a reverse of
-fortune they are deprived of them.
-
-A young innocent girl, when she first enters into gay scenes, finds her
-spirits so raised by them, that she would often be lost in delight, if
-she was not checked by observing the behaviour of a class of females who
-attend those places. What a painful train of reflections do then arise
-in the mind, and convictions of the vice and folly of the world are
-prematurely forced on it. It is no longer a paradise, for innocence is
-not there; the taint of vice poisons every enjoyment, and affectation,
-though despised, is very contagious. If these reflections do not occur,
-languor follows the extraordinary exertions, and weak minds fall a prey
-to imaginary distress, to banish which they are obliged to take as a
-remedy what produced the disease.
-
-We talk of amusements unbending the mind; so they ought; yet even in the
-hours of relaxation we are acquiring habits. A mind accustomed to
-observe can never be quite idle, and will catch improvement on all
-occasions. Our pursuits and pleasures should have the same tendency, and
-every thing concur to prepare us for a state of purity and happiness.
-There vice and folly will not poison our pleasures; our faculties will
-expand; and not mistake their objects; and we shall no longer “see as
-through a glass darkly, but know, even as we are known.”
-
-
- FINIS.
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES
-
-
- 1. P. 97, changed “is was sufficient” to “it was sufficient”.
- 2. Silently corrected obvious typographical errors and variations in
- spelling.
- 3. Retained archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings as printed.
- 4. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.
- 5. Denoted superscripts by a caret before a single superscript
- character or a series of superscripted characters enclosed in
- curly braces, e.g. M^r. or M^{ister}.
-
-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THOUGHTS ON THE EDUCATION OF
-DAUGHTERS ***
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-<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Thoughts on the Education of Daughters, by Mary Wollstonecraft</p>
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Thoughts on the Education of Daughters</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:0; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:1em;'>with Reflections on Female Conduct, in The more important Duties of Life</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Mary Wollstonecraft</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: February 21, 2022 [eBook #67466]</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)</p>
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THOUGHTS ON THE EDUCATION OF DAUGHTERS ***</div>
-
-<div class='tnotes covernote'>
-
-<p class='c000'><strong>Transcriber’s Note:</strong></p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The cover image was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='titlepage'>
-
-<div>
- <h1 class='c001'><span class='xlarge'>THOUGHTS</span><br /> <br /> <span class='large'>ON THE</span><br /> <br /> <span class='xlarge'>EDUCATION</span><br /> <br /> <span class='large'>OF</span><br /> <br /> DAUGHTERS:<br /> <br /> <span class='large'>WITH<br /> <br /> <span class='sc'>Reflections on Female Conduct</span>,<br /> <br /> IN<br /> <br /> The more important <span class='sc'>Duties</span> of <span class='sc'>Life</span>,</span></h1>
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='xlarge'>By MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT.</span></div>
- <div class='c002'><span class='large'>LONDON:</span></div>
- <div>PRINTED FOR J. JOHNSON, N<sup>o</sup> 72, ST. PAUL’S</div>
- <div>CHURCH-YARD.</div>
- <div class='c003'>M DCC LXXXVII.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_iii'>iii</span>
- <h2 id='PREFACE' class='c004'>PREFACE.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>In the following pages I have
-endeavoured to point out some
-important things with respect to
-female education. It is true,
-many treatises have been already
-written; yet it occurred to me,
-that much still remained to be
-said. I shall not swell these
-sheets by writing apologies for my
-attempt. I am afraid, indeed, the
-reflections will, by some, be thought
-too grave; but I could not make
-them less so without writing affectedly;
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_iv'>iv</span>yet, though they may be
-insipid to the gay, others may not
-think them so; and if they should
-prove useful to one fellow-creature,
-and beguile any hours, which
-sorrow has made heavy, I shall
-think I have not been employed
-in vain.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c004'>CONTENTS</h2>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c002'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'><a href='#PREFACE'>PREFACE</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#The_NURSERY'>The NURSERY</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#MORAL_DISCIPLINE'>MORAL DISCIPLINE</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#EXTERIOR_ACCOMPLISHMENTS'>EXTERIOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#ARTIFICIAL_MANNERS'>ARTIFICIAL MANNERS</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#DRESS'>DRESS</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#The_FINE_ARTS'>The FINE ARTS</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#READING'>READING</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#BOARDING-SCHOOLS'>BOARDING-SCHOOLS</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#The_TEMPER'>The TEMPER</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#Unfortunate_Situation_of_Females_fashionably_educated_and_left_without_a_Fortune'>Unfortunate Situation of Females, fashionably educated, and left without a Fortune</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#LOVE'>LOVE</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#MATRIMONY'>MATRIMONY</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#DESULTORY_THOUGHTS'>DESULTORY THOUGHTS</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#THE_BENEFITS_WHICH_ARISE_FROM_DISAPPOINTMENTS'>THE BENEFITS WHICH ARISE FROM DISAPPOINTMENTS</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#ON_THE_TREATMENT_OF_SERVANTS'>ON THE TREATMENT OF SERVANTS</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#THE_OBSERVANCE_OF_SUNDAY'>THE OBSERVANCE OF SUNDAY</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#ON_THE_MISFORTUNE_OF_FLUCTUATING_PRINCIPLES'>ON THE MISFORTUNE OF FLUCTUATING PRINCIPLES</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#BENEVOLENCE'>BENEVOLENCE</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#CARD-PLAYING'>CARD-PLAYING</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#THE_THEATRE'>THE THEATRE</a></div>
- <div class='line'><a href='#PUBLIC_PLACES'>PUBLIC PLACES</a></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='chapter ph1'>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c006'>
- <div>THOUGHTS</div>
- <div>ON THE</div>
- <div class='c003'>EDUCATION</div>
- <div class='c003'>OF</div>
- <div class='c003'>DAUGHTERS.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_1'>1</span>
- <h2 id='The_NURSERY' class='c004'><span class='sc'>The</span> NURSERY.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>As I conceive it to be the duty of
-every rational creature to attend
-to its offspring, I am sorry to observe,
-that reason and duty together
-have not so powerful an influence over
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_2'>2</span>human conduct, as instinct has in the
-brute creation. Indolence, and a
-thoughtless disregard of every thing,
-except the present indulgence, make
-many mothers, who may have momentary
-starts of tenderness, neglect
-their children. They follow a pleasing
-impulse, and never reflect that reason
-should cultivate and govern those instincts
-which are implanted in us to
-render the path of duty pleasant—for
-if they are not governed they will run
-wild; and strengthen the passions
-which are ever endeavouring to obtain
-dominion—I mean vanity and
-self-love.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_3'>3</span>The first thing to be attended to, is
-laying the foundation of a good constitution.
-The mother (if there are
-not very weighty reasons to prevent
-her) ought to suckle her children.
-Her milk is their proper nutriment,
-and for some time is quite sufficient.
-Were a regular mode of suckling adopted,
-it would be far from being a
-laborious task. Children, who are left
-to the care of ignorant nurses, have
-their stomachs overloaded with improper
-food, which turns acid, and renders
-them very uncomfortable. We should
-be particularly careful to guard them
-in their infant state from bodily pain;
-as their minds can then afford them no
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_4'>4</span>amusement to alleviate it. The first
-years of a child’s life are frequently
-made miserable through negligence or
-ignorance. Their complaints are mostly
-in their stomach or bowels; and
-these complaints generally arise from
-the quality and quantity of their food.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The suckling of a child also excites
-the warmest glow of tenderness—Its
-dependant, helpless state produces an
-affection, which may properly be termed
-maternal. I have even felt it, when
-I have seen a mother perform that
-office; and am of opinion, that maternal
-tenderness arises quite as much
-from habit as instinct. It is possible, I
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_5'>5</span>am convinced, to acquire the affection
-of a parent for an adopted child; it is
-necessary, therefore, for a mother to
-perform the office of one, in order to
-produce in herself a rational affection
-for her offspring.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Children very early contract the
-manners of those about them. It is
-easy to distinguish the child of a well-bred
-person, if it is not left entirely to
-the nurse’s care. These women are
-of course ignorant, and to keep a child
-quiet for the moment, they humour
-all its little caprices. Very soon does
-it begin to be perverse, and eager to
-be gratified in every thing. The usual
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_6'>6</span>mode of acting is complying with the
-humours sometimes, and contradicting
-them at others—just according to the
-dictates of an uncorrected temper.
-This the infant finds out earlier than
-can be imagined, and it gives rise to
-an affection devoid of respect. Uniformity
-of conduct is the only feasible
-method of creating both. An inflexible
-adherence to any rule that has
-been laid down makes children comfortable,
-and saves the mother and
-nurse much trouble, as they will not
-often contest, if they have not once
-conquered. They will, I am sure,
-love and respect a person who treats
-them properly, if some one else does
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_7'>7</span>not indiscreetly indulge them. I once
-heard a judicious father say, “He
-would treat his child as he would his
-horse: first convince it he was its
-master, and then its friend.” But
-yet a rigid style of behaviour is by no
-means to be adopted; on the contrary,
-I wish to remark, that it is only in the
-years of childhood that the happiness
-of a human being depends entirely on
-others—and to embitter those years
-by needless restraint is cruel. To
-conciliate affection, affection must be
-shown, and little proofs of it ought
-always to be given—let them not appear
-weaknesses, and they will sink
-deep into the young mind, and call
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_8'>8</span>forth its most amiable propensities.
-The turbulent passions may be kept
-down till reason begins to dawn.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>In the nursery too, they are taught
-to speak; and there they not only hear
-nonsense, but that nonsense retailed
-out in such silly, affected tones as must
-disgust;—yet these are the tones which
-the child first imitates, and its innocent
-playful manner renders them
-tolerable, if not pleasing; but afterwards
-they are not easily got the better
-of—nay, many women always retain
-the pretty prattle of the nursery, and
-do not forget to lisp, when they have
-learnt to languish.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_9'>9</span>Children are taught revenge and
-lies in their very cradles. If they fall
-down, or strike their heads against
-any thing, to quiet them they are bid
-return the injury, and their little hands
-held out to do it. When they cry,
-or are troublesome, the cat or dog is
-chastised, or some bugbear called to
-take them away; which only terrifies
-them at first, for they soon find out
-that the nurse means nothing by these
-dreadful threatenings. Indeed, so well
-do they discover the fallacy, that I
-have seen little creatures, who could
-scarcely speak, play over the same
-tricks with their doll or the cat.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_10'>10</span>How, then, when the mind comes
-under discipline, can precepts of truth
-be inforced, when the first examples
-they have had would lead them to
-practice the contrary?</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_11'>11</span>
- <h2 id='MORAL_DISCIPLINE' class='c004'>MORAL DISCIPLINE.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>It has been asserted, “That no being,
-merely human, could properly
-educate a child.” I entirely coincide
-with this author; but though perfection
-cannot be attained, and unforeseen
-events will ever govern human
-conduct, yet still it is our duty to lay
-down some rule to regulate our actions
-by, and to adhere to it, as consistently
-as our infirmities will permit.
-To be able to follow Mr. Locke’s system
-(and this may be said of almost
-all treatises on education) the parents
-must have subdued their own passions,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_12'>12</span>which is not often the case in any considerable
-degree.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The marriage state is too often a
-state of discord; it does not always
-happen that both parents are rational,
-and the weakest have it in their power
-to do most mischief.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>How then are the tender minds
-of children to be cultivated?—Mamma
-is only anxious that they
-should love her best, and perhaps
-takes pains to sow those seeds,
-which have produced such luxuriant
-weeds in her own mind. Or, what still
-more frequently occurs, the children
-are at first made play-things of, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_13'>13</span>when their tempers have been spoiled
-by indiscreet indulgence, they become
-troublesome, and are mostly left with
-servants; the first notions they imbibe,
-therefore, are mean and vulgar. They
-are taught cunning, the wisdom of that
-class of people, and a love of truth,
-the foundation of virtue, is soon obliterated
-from their minds. It is, in
-my opinion, a well-proved fact, that
-principles of truth are innate. Without
-reasoning we assent to many truths;
-we feel their force, and artful sophistry
-can only blunt those feelings which
-nature has implanted in us as instinctive
-guards to virtue. Dissimulation
-and cunning will soon drive all other
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_14'>14</span>good qualities before them, and deprive
-the mind of that beautiful simplicity,
-which can never be too much
-cherished.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Indeed it is of the utmost consequence
-to make a child artless, or to
-speak with more propriety, not to
-teach them to be otherwise; and in
-order to do so we must keep them out
-of the way of bad examples. Art is
-almost always practiced by servants,
-and the same methods which children
-observe them to use, to shield themselves
-from blame, they will adopt—and
-cunning is so nearly allied to falsehood,
-that it will infallibly lead to it—or
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_15'>15</span>some foolish prevaricating subterfuge
-will occur; to silence any reproaches
-of the mind which may arise,
-if an attention to truth has been inculcated.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Another cause or source of art is injudicious
-correction. Accidents or
-giddy tricks are too frequently punished,
-and if children can conceal
-these, they will, to avoid chastisement.
-Restrain them, therefore, but never
-correct them without a very sufficient
-cause; such as a violation of truth,
-cruelty to animals, inferiors, or those
-kind of follies which lead to vice.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_16'>16</span>Children should be permitted to enter
-into conversation; but it requires
-great discernment to find out such
-subjects as will gradually improve
-them. Animals are the first objects
-which catch their attention; and I
-think little stories about them would
-not only amuse but instruct at the same
-time, and have the best effect in forming
-the temper and cultivating the
-good dispositions of the heart. There
-are many little books which have
-this tendency. One in particular I
-recollect: The Perambulations of a
-Mouse. I cannot here help mentioning
-a book of hymns, in measured
-prose, written by the ingenious author
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_17'>17</span>of many other proper lessons for children.
-These hymns, I imagine, would
-contribute to fill the heart with religious
-sentiments and affections; and,
-if I may be allowed the expression,
-make the Deity obvious to the senses.
-The understanding, however, should
-not be overloaded any more than the
-stomach. Intellectual improvements,
-like the growth and formation of the
-body, must be gradual—yet there is no
-reason why the mind should lie fallow,
-while its “frail tenement” is imperceptibly
-fitting itself for a more reasonable
-inhabitant. It will not lie fallow;
-promiscuous seeds will be sown
-by accident, and they will shoot up
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_18'>18</span>with the wheat, and perhaps never be
-eradicated.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Whenever a child asks a question,
-it should always have a reasonable answer
-given it. Its little passions should
-be engaged. They are mostly fond
-of stories, and proper ones would improve
-them even while they are amused.
-Instead of these, their heads
-are filled with improbable tales, and
-superstitious accounts of invisible beings,
-which breed strange prejudices
-and vain fears in their minds.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The lisp of the nursery is confirmed,
-and vulgar phrases are acquired; which
-children, if possible, should never hear.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_19'>19</span>To be able to express the thoughts with
-facility and propriety, is of great consequence
-in life, and if children were
-never led astray in this particular, it
-would prevent much trouble.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The riot too of the kitchen, or any
-other place where children are left
-only with servants, makes the decent
-restraint of the parlour irksome. A
-girl, who has vivacity, soon grows a
-romp; and if there are male servants,
-they go out a walking with them, and
-will frequently take little freedoms
-with Miss, the bearing with which
-gives a forwardness to her air, and
-makes her pert. The becoming modesty,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_20'>20</span>which being accustomed to converse
-with superiors, will give a girl,
-is entirely done away. I must own,
-I am quite charmed when I see a sweet
-young creature, shrinking as it were
-from observation, and listening rather
-than talking. It is possible a girl may
-have this manner without having a very
-good understanding. If it should be
-so, this diffidence prevents her from
-being troublesome.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>It is the duty of a parent to preserve
-a child from receiving wrong impressions.—As
-to prejudices, the first notions
-we have deserve that name; for
-it is not till we begin to waver in our
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_21'>21</span>opinions, that we exert our reason to
-examine them—and then, if they are
-received, they may be called our own.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The first things, then, that children
-ought to be encouraged to observe,
-are a strict adherence to truth; a
-proper submission to superiors; and
-condescension to inferiors. These are
-the main articles; but there are many
-others, which compared to them are
-trivial, and yet are of importance. It
-is not pleasing to see a child full of bows
-and grimaces; yet they need not be
-suffered to be rude. They should be
-employed, and such fables and tales
-may be culled out for them as would
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_22'>22</span>excite their curiosity. A taste for the
-beauties of nature should be very early
-cultivated: many things, with respect
-to the vegetable and animal world,
-may be explained in an amusing way;
-and this is an innocent source of pleasure
-within every one’s reach.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Above all, try to teach them to
-combine their ideas. It is of more use
-than can be conceived, for a child to
-learn to compare things that are similar
-in some respects, and different in
-others. I wish them to be taught to
-think—thinking, indeed, is a severe
-exercise, and exercise of either mind or
-body will not at first be entered on, but
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_23'>23</span>with a view to pleasure. Not that I
-would have them make long reflections;
-for when they do not arise
-from experience, they are mostly
-absurd.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_24'>24</span>
- <h2 id='EXTERIOR_ACCOMPLISHMENTS' class='c004'>EXTERIOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>Under this head may be ranked
-all those accomplishments which
-merely render the person attractive;
-and those half-learnt ones which do
-not improve the mind. “A little
-learning of any kind is a dangerous
-thing;” and so far from making a person
-pleasing, it has the contrary effect.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Parents have mostly some weighty
- business in hand, which they
-make a pretext to themselves for neglecting
-the arduous task of educating
-their children; they are therefore sent
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_25'>25</span>to school, and the allowance for them
-is so low, that the person who undertakes
-the charge must have more than
-she can possibly attend to; of course,
-the mechanical parts of education can
-only be observed. I have known children
-who could repeat things in the
-order they learnt them, that were quite
-at a loss when put out of the beaten
-track. If the understanding is not exercised,
-the memory will be employed
-to little purpose.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Girls learn something of music,
-drawing, and geography; but they do
-not know enough to engage their attention,
-and render it an employment of
-the mind. If they can play over a few
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_26'>26</span>tunes to their acquaintance, and have
-a drawing or two (half done by the
-master) to hang up in their rooms,
-they imagine themselves artists for
-the rest of their lives. It is not
-the being able to execute a trifling
-landscape, or any thing of the kind,
-that is of consequence—These are
-at best but trifles, and the foolish,
-indiscriminate praises which are bestowed
-on them only produce vanity.
-But what is really of no importance,
-when considered in this light, becomes
-of the utmost, when a girl has a fondness
-for the art, and a desire of excellence.
-Whatever tends to make a person
-in some measure independent
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_27'>27</span>of the senses, is a prop to virtue. Amusing
-employments must first occupy
-the mind; and as an attention to moral
-duties leads to piety, so whoever
-weighs one subject will turn to others,
-and new ideas will rush into the mind.
-The faculties will be exercised, and
-not suffered to sleep, which will give a
-variety to the character.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Dancing and elegance of manners
-are very pleasing, if too great a stress
-is not laid on them. These acquirements
-catch the senses, and open the
-way to the heart; but unsupported by
-solid good qualities, their reign is short.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The lively thoughtlessness of youth
-makes every young creature agreeable
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_28'>28</span>for the time; but when those years
-are flown, and sense is not substituted
-in the stead of vivacity, the follies of
-youth are acted over, and they never
-consider, that the things which please
-in their proper season, disgust out of it.
-It is very absurd to see a woman,
-whose brow time has marked with
-wrinkles, aping the manners of a girl
-in her teens.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>I do not think it foreign to the present
-subject to mention the trifling conversations
-women are mostly fond of.
-In general, they are prone to ridicule.
-As they lay the greatest stress on manners,
-the most respectable characters
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_29'>29</span>will not escape its lash, if deficient in
-this article. Ridicule has been, with
-some people, the boasted test of truth—if
-so, our sex ought to make wonderful
-improvements; but I am apt to
-think, they often exert this talent till
-they lose all perception of it themselves.
-Affectation, and not ignorance, is the
-fair game for ridicule; and even affectation
-some good-natured persons
-will spare. We should never give pain
-without a design to amend.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Exterior accomplishments are not to
-be despised, if the acquiring of them
-does not satisfy the possessors, and prevent
-their cultivating the more important
-ones.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_30'>30</span>
- <h2 id='ARTIFICIAL_MANNERS' class='c004'>ARTIFICIAL MANNERS.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>It may be thought, that artificial
-manners and exterior accomplishments
-are much the same; but I think
-the former take a far wider range, and
-are materially different. The one arises
-from affectation, and the other seems
-only an error in judgment.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The emotions of the mind often appear
-conspicuous in the countenance
-and manner. These emotions, when
-they arise from sensibility and virtue,
-are inexpressibly pleasing. But it is
-easier to copy the cast of countenance,
-than to cultivate the virtues which animate
-and improve it.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_31'>31</span>How many people are like whitened
-sepulchres, and careful only about
-appearances! yet if we are too anxious
-to gain the approbation of the
-world, we must often forfeit our own.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>How bewitching is that humble softness
-of manners which humility gives
-birth to, and how faint are the imitations
-of affectation! That gentleness
-of behaviour, which makes us courteous
-to all, and that benevolence, which
-makes us loth to offend any, and
-studious to please every creature, is
-sometimes copied by the polite; but
-how aukward is the copy! The
-warmest professions of regard are prostituted
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_32'>32</span>on all occasions. No distinctions
-are made, and the esteem which
-is only due to merit, appears to be
-lavished on all—Nay, affection is affected;
-at least, the language is borrowed,
-when there is no glow of it in
-the heart. Civility is due to all, but
-regard or admiration should never be
-expressed when it is not felt.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>As humility gives the most pleasing
-cast to the countenance, so from sincerity
-arises that artlessness of manners
-which is so engaging. She who suffers
-herself to be seen as she really is,
-can never be thought affected. She
-is not solicitous to act a part; her endeavour
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_33'>33</span>is not to hide; but correct
-her failings, and her face has of course
-that beauty, which an attention to the
-mind only gives. I never knew a person
-really ugly, who was not foolish
-or vicious; and I have seen the most
-beautiful features deformed by passion
-and vice. It is true, regular features
-strike at first; but it is a well ordered
-mind which occasions those turns of
-expression in the countenance, which
-make a lasting impression.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Feeling is ridiculous when affected;
-and even when felt, ought not to be
-displayed. It will appear if genuine;
-but when pushed forward to notice, it
-is obvious vanity has rivalled sorrow,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_34'>34</span>and that the prettiness of the thing is
-thought of. Let the manners arise
-from the mind, and let there be no
-disguise for the genuine emotions of
-the heart.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Things merely ornamental are soon
-disregarded, and disregard can scarcely
-be borne when there is no internal
-support.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>To have in this uncertain world
-some stay, which cannot be undermined,
-is of the utmost consequence; and
-this stay it is, which gives that dignity
-to the manners, which shews that a
-person does not depend on mere human
-applause for comfort and satisfaction.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_35'>35</span>
- <h2 id='DRESS' class='c004'>DRESS.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>Many able pens have dwelt on
-the peculiar foibles of our sex.
-We have been equally desired to avoid
-the two extremes in dress, and the necessity
-of cleanliness has been insisted
-on, “As from the body’s purity the
-mind receives a sympathetic aid.”</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>By far too much of a girl’s time is
-taken up in dress. This is an exterior
-accomplishment; but I chose to consider
-it by itself. The body hides the
-mind, and it is, in its turn, obscured
-by the drapery. I hate to see the
-frame of a picture so glaring, as to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_36'>36</span>catch the eye and divide the attention.
-Dress ought to adorn the person,
-and not rival it. It may be simple,
-elegant, and becoming, without being
-expensive; and ridiculous fashions disregarded,
-while singularity is avoided.
-The beauty of dress (I shall raise astonishment
-by saying so) is its not being
-conspicuous one way or the other;
-when it neither distorts, or hides the
-human form by unnatural protuberances.
-If ornaments are much studied,
-a consciousness of being well dressed
-will appear in the face—and surely
-this mean pride does not give much
-sublimity to it.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_37'>37</span>“Out of the abundance of the
-heart the mouth speaketh.” And how
-much conversation does dress furnish,
-which surely cannot be very improving
-or entertaining.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>It gives rise to envy, and contests
-for trifling superiority, which do not
-render a woman very respectable to
-the other sex.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Arts are used to obtain money;
-and much is squandered away, which
-if saved for charitable purposes, might
-alleviate the distress of many poor
-families, and soften the heart of the
-girl who entered into such scenes of
-woe.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_38'>38</span>In the article of dress may be included
-the whole tribe of beauty-washes,
-cosmetics, Olympian dew, oriental
-herbs, liquid bloom, and the
-paint which enlivened Ninon’s face,
-and bid defiance to time. These numerous
-and essential articles are advertised
-in so ridiculous a style, that
-the rapid sale of them is a very severe
-reflection on the understanding of those
-females who encourage it. The dew
-and herbs, I imagine, are very harmless,
-but I do not know whether the
-same may be said of the paint. White
-is certainly very prejudicial to the
-health, and never can be made to resemble
-nature. The red, too, takes
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_39'>39</span>off from the expression of the countenance,
-and the beautiful glow which
-modesty, affection, or any other emotion
-of the mind, gives, can never be
-seen. It is not “a mind-illumined
-face.” “The body does not charm,
-because the mind is seen,” but just the
-contrary; and if caught by it a man
-marries a woman thus disguised, he
-may chance not to be satisfied with her
-real person. A made-up face may
-strike visitors, but will certainly disgust
-domestic friends. And one obvious
-inference is drawn, truth is not expected
-to govern the inhabitant of so artificial
-a form. The false life with which
-rouge animates the eyes, is not of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_40'>40</span>most delicate kind; nor does a woman’s
-dressing herself in a way to attract
-languishing glances, give us the
-most advantageous opinion of the purity
-of her mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>I forgot to mention powder among
-the deceptions. It is a pity that it should
-be so generally worn. The most beautiful
-ornament of the features is disguised,
-and the shade it would give to the
-countenance entirely lost. The color
-of every person’s hair generally suits
-the complexion, and is calculated to
-set it off. What absurdity then do
-they run into, who use red, blue, and
-yellow powder!—And what a false
-taste does it exhibit!</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_41'>41</span>The quantity of pomatum is often
-disgusting. We laugh at the Hottentots,
-and in some things adopt their
-customs.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Simplicity of Dress, and unaffected
-manners, should go together. They
-demand respect, and will be admired
-by people of taste, even when love is
-out of the question.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_42'>42</span>
- <h2 id='The_FINE_ARTS' class='c004'><span class='sc'>The FINE ARTS.</span></h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>Music and painting, and many
-other ingenious arts, are now
-brought to great perfection, and afford
-the most rational and delicate
-pleasure.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>It is easy to find out if a young person
-has a taste for them. If they have,
-do not suffer it to lie dormant. Heaven
-kindly bestowed it, and a great blessing
-it is; but, like all other blessings,
-may be perverted: yet the intrinsic
-value is not lessened by the perversion.
-Should nature have been a niggard
-to them in this respect, persuade
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_43'>43</span>them to be silent, and not feign raptures
-they do not feel; for nothing
-can be more ridiculous.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>In music I prefer expression to execution.
-The simple melody of some
-artless airs has often soothed my mind,
-when it has been harrassed by care;
-and I have been raised from the very
-depths of sorrow, by the sublime harmony
-of some of Handel’s compositions.
-I have been lifted above this
-little scene of grief and care, and mused
-on Him, from whom all bounty flows.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>A person must have sense, taste, and
-sensibility, to render their music interesting.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_44'>44</span>The nimble dance of the
-fingers may raise wonder, but not
-delight.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>As to drawing, those cannot be really
-charmed by it, who do not observe the
-beauties of nature, and even admire
-them.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>If a person is fond of tracing the
-effects of the passions, and marking the
-appearances they give to the countenance,
-they will be glad to see characters
-displayed on canvass, and enter
-into the spirit of them; but if by them
-the book of nature has not been read,
-their admiration is childish.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_45'>45</span>Works of fancy are very amusing,
-if a girl has a lively fancy; but if she
-makes others do the greatest part of
-them, and only wishes for the credit
-of doing them, do not encourage her.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Writing may be termed a fine art;
-and, I am sure, it is a very useful one.
-The style in particular deserves attention.
-Young people are very apt to
-substitute words for sentiments, and
-clothe mean thoughts in pompous diction.
-Industry and time are necessary
-to cure this, and will often do it.
-Children should be led into correspondences,
-and methods adopted to make
-them write down their sentiments, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_46'>46</span>they should be prevailed on to relate
-the stories they have read in their own
-words. Writing well is of great consequence
-in life as to our temporal interest,
-and of still more to the mind;
-as it teaches a person to arrange their
-thoughts, and digest them. Besides,
-it forms the only true basis of rational
-and elegant conversation.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Reading, and such arts as have been
-already mentioned, would fill up the
-time, and prevent a young person’s
-being lost in dissipation, which enervates
-the mind, and often leads to improper
-connections. When habits are
-fixed, and a character in some measure
-formed, the entering into the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_47'>47</span>busy world, so far from being dangerous,
-is useful. Knowledge will
-imperceptibly be acquired, and the
-taste improved, if admiration is not
-more sought for than improvement.
-For those seldom make observation
-who are full of themselves.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_48'>48</span>
- <h2 id='READING' class='c004'>READING.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>It is an old, but a very true observation,
-that the human mind must
-ever be employed. A relish for reading,
-or any of the fine arts, should be
-cultivated very early in life; and those
-who reflect can tell, of what importance
-it is for the mind to have some resource
-in itself, and not to be entirely
-dependant on the senses for employment
-and amusement. If it unfortunately
-is so, it must submit to meanness,
-and often to vice, in order to
-gratify them. The wisest and best are
-too much under their influence; and
-the endeavouring to conquer them,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_49'>49</span>when reason and virtue will not give
-their sanction, constitutes great part of
-the warfare of life. What support,
-then, have they who are all senses,
-and who are full of schemes, which
-terminate in temporal objects?</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Reading is the most rational employment,
-if people seek food for the
-understanding, and do not read merely
-to remember words; or with a view
-to quote celebrated authors, and retail
-sentiments they do not understand
-or feel. Judicious books enlarge the
-mind and improve the heart, though
-some, by them, “are made coxcombs
-whom nature meant for fools.”</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_50'>50</span>Those productions which give a
-wrong account of the human passions,
-and the various accidents of life, ought
-not to be read before the judgment is
-formed, or at least exercised. Such
-accounts are one great cause of the
-affectation of young women. Sensibility
-is described and praised, and the
-effects of it represented in a way so
-different from nature, that those who
-imitate it must make themselves very
-ridiculous. A false taste is acquired, and
-sensible books appear dull and insipid
-after those superficial performances,
-which obtain their full end if they can
-keep the mind in a continual ferment.
-Gallantry is made the only interesting
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_51'>51</span>subject with the novelist; reading,
-therefore, will often co-operate to make
-his fair admirers insignificant.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>I do not mean to recommend books
-of an abstracted or grave cast. There
-are in our language many, in which
-instruction and amusement are blended;
-the Adventurer is of this kind.
-I mention this book on account of
-its beautiful allegories and affecting
-tales, and similar ones may easily
-be selected. Reason strikes most
-forcibly when illustrated by the brilliancy
-of fancy. The sentiments
-which are scattered may be observed,
-and when they are relished, and the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_52'>52</span>mind set to work, it may be allowed
-to chuse books for itself, for every
-thing will then instruct.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>I would have every one try to form
-an opinion of an author themselves,
-though modesty may restrain them
-from mentioning it. Many are so
-anxious to have the reputation of
-taste, that they only praise the authors
-whose merit is indisputable. I am sick
-of hearing of the sublimity of Milton,
-the elegance and harmony of Pope, and
-the original, untaught genius of Shakespear.
-These cursory remarks are
-made by some who know nothing of
-nature, and could not enter into the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_53'>53</span>spirit of those authors, or understand
-them.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>A florid style mostly passes with the
-ignorant for fine writing; many sentences
-are admired that have no meaning
-in them, though they contain
-“words of thundering sound,” and
-others that have nothing to recommend
-them but sweet and musical
-terminations.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Books of theology are not calculated
-for young persons; religion is best
-taught by example. The Bible should
-be read with particular respect, and
-they should not be taught reading by
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_54'>54</span>so sacred a book; lest they might consider
-that as a task, which ought to be
-a source of the most exalted satisfaction.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>It may be observed, that I recommend
-the mind’s being put into a proper
-train, and then left to itself. Fixed
-rules cannot be given, it must depend
-on the nature and strength of the understanding;
-and those who observe
-it can best tell what kind of cultivation
-will improve it. The mind is not,
-cannot be created by the teacher,
-though it may be cultivated, and its
-real powers found out.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The active spirits of youth may
-make time glide away without intellectual
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_55'>55</span>enjoyments; but when the novelty
-of the scene is worn off, the want
-of them will be felt, and nothing else
-can fill up the void. The mind is
-confined to the body, and must sink
-into sensuality; for it has nothing to
-do but to provide for it, “how it shall
-eat and drink, and wherewithal it shall
-be clothed.”</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>All kinds of refinement have been
-found fault with for increasing our
-cares and sorrows; yet surely the
-contrary effect also arises from them.
-Taste and thought open many sources
-of pleasure, which do not depend on
-fortune.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_56'>56</span>No employment of the mind is a
-sufficient excuse for neglecting domestic
-duties, and I cannot conceive that
-they are incompatible. A woman
-may fit herself to be the companion
-and friend of a man of sense, and yet
-know how to take care of his family.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_57'>57</span>
- <h2 id='BOARDING-SCHOOLS' class='c004'>BOARDING-SCHOOLS.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>If a mother has leisure and good
-sense, and more than one daughter,
-I think she could best educate
-them herself; but as many family reasons
-render it necessary sometimes to
-send them from home, boarding-schools
-are fixed on. I must own it
-is my opinion, that the manners are
-too much attended to in all schools;
-and in the nature of things it cannot
-be otherwise, as the reputation of the
-house depends upon it, and most people
-can judge of them. The temper
-is neglected, the same lessons are
-taught to all, and some get a smattering
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_58'>58</span>of things they have not capacity
-ever to understand; few things are
-learnt thoroughly, but many follies
-contracted, and an immoderate fondness
-for dress among the rest.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>To prepare a woman to fulfil the
-important duties of a wife and mother,
-are certainly the objects that
-should be in view during the early
-period of life; yet accomplishments
-are most thought of, and they, and all-powerful
-beauty, generally gain the
-heart; and as the keeping of it is not
-considered of until it is lost, they are
-deemed of the most consequence. A
-sensible governess cannot attend to the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_59'>59</span>minds of the number she is obliged to
-have. She may have been many years
-struggling to get established, and when
-fortune smiles, does not chuse to lose
-the opportunity of providing for old
-age; therefore continues to enlarge her
-school, with a view to accumulate a
-competency for that purpose. Domestic
-concerns cannot possibly be
-made a part of their employment, or
-proper conversations often entered on.
-Improper books will by stealth be introduced,
-and the bad example of
-one or two vicious children, in the
-play-hours, infect a number. Their
-gratitude and tenderness are not called
-forth in the way they might be by
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_60'>60</span>maternal affection. Many miseries does
-a girl of a mild disposition suffer, which
-a tender parent could guard her from.
-I shall not contest about the graces,
-but the virtues are best learnt at home,
-if a mother will give up her time and
-thoughts to the task; but if she cannot,
-they should be sent to school; for
-people who do not manage their children
-well, and have not large fortunes,
-must leave them often with servants,
-where they are in danger of still greater
-corruptions.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_61'>61</span>
- <h2 id='The_TEMPER' class='c004'><span class='sc'>The TEMPER.</span></h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>The forming of the temper ought
-to be the continual thought, and
-the first task of a parent or teacher.
-For to speak moderately, half the miseries
-of life arise from peevishness,
-or a tyrannical domineering temper.
-The tender, who are so by nature, or
-those whom religion has moulded with
-so heavenly a disposition, give way for
-the sake of peace—yet still this giving
-way undermines their domestic comfort,
-and stops the current of affection;
-they labor for patience, and labor
-is ever painful.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_62'>62</span>The governing of our temper is
-truly the business of our whole lives;
-but surely it would very much assist
-us if we were early put into the right
-road. As it is, when reason gains
-some strength, she has mountains of
-rubbish to remove, or perhaps exerts
-all her powers to justify the errors of
-folly and passion, rather than root them
-out.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>A constant attention to the management
-of the temper produces gentleness
-and humility, and is practised on
-all occasions, as it is not done “to be
-seen of men.” This meek spirit arises
-from good sense and resolution, and
-should not be confounded with indolence
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_63'>63</span>and timidity; weaknesses of mind,
-which often pass for good nature. She
-who submits, without conviction, to a
-parent or husband, will as unreasonably
-tyrannise over her servants; for
-slavish fear and tyranny go together.
-Resentment, indeed, may and will be
-felt occasionally by the best of human
-beings; yet humility will soon conquer
-it, and convert scorn and contempt
-into pity, and drive out that
-hasty pride which is always guarding
-Self from insult; which takes fire on the
-most trivial occasions, and which will not
-admit of a superior, or even an equal.
-With such a temper is often joined
-that bashful aukwardness which arises
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_64'>64</span>from ignorance, and is frequently termed
-diffidence; but which does not, in
-my opinion, deserve such a distinction.
-True humility is not innate, but like
-every other good quality must be cultivated.
-Reflections on miscarriages
-of conduct, and mistakes in opinion,
-sink it deep into the mind; especially
-if those miscarriages and mistakes have
-been a cause of pain—when we smart
-for our folly we remember it.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Few people look into their own
-hearts, or think of their tempers,
-though they severely censure others,
-on whose side they say the fault always
-lies. Now I am apt to believe, that
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_65'>65</span>there is not a temper in the world
-which does not need correction, and
-of course attention. Those who are
-termed good-humored, are frequently
-giddy, indolent, and insensible; yet
-because the society they mix with appear
-seldom displeased with a person
-who does not contest, and will laugh
-off an affront, they imagine themselves
-pleasing, when they are only not disagreeable.
-Warm tempers are too
-easily irritated. The one requires a
-spur, the other a rein. Health of
-mind, as well as body, must in general
-be obtained by patient submission to
-self-denial, and disagreeable operations.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_66'>66</span>If the presence of the Deity be inculcated
-and dwelt on till an habitual
-reverence is established in the mind,
-it will check the sallies of anger and
-sneers of peevishness, which corrode
-our peace, and render us wretched,
-without any claim to pity.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The wisdom of the Almighty has
-so ordered things, that one cause produces
-many effects. While we are
-looking into another’s mind, and forming
-their temper, we are insensibly
-correcting our own; and every act
-of benevolence which we exert to our
-fellow-creatures, does ourselves the
-most essential services. Active virtue
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_67'>67</span>fits us for the society of more exalted
-beings. Our philanthrophy is a proof,
-we are told, that we are capable of
-loving our Creator. Indeed this divine
-love, or charity, appears to me the
-principal trait that remains of the illustrious
-image of the Deity, which was
-originally stampt on the soul, and
-which is to be renewed. Exalted
-views will raise the mind above trifling
-cares, and the many little weaknesses,
-which make us a torment to ourselves
-and others. Our temper will gradually
-improve, and vanity, which “the
-creature is made subject to,” has not
-an entire dominion.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_68'>68</span>But I have digressed. A judicious
-parent can only manage a child in this
-important article; and example will
-best enforce precept.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Be careful, however, not to make
-hypocrites; smothered flames will
-blaze out with more violence for having
-been kept down. Expect not to
-do all yourself; experience must enable
-the child to assist you; you can only
-lay the foundation, or prevent bad
-propensities from settling into habits.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_69'>69</span>
- <h2 id='Unfortunate_Situation_of_Females_fashionably_educated_and_left_without_a_Fortune' class='c004'><span class='sc'>Unfortunate Situation of Females, fashionably educated, and left without a Fortune.</span></h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>I have hitherto only spoken of those
-females, who will have a provision
-made for them by their parents. But
-many who have been well, or at least
-fashionably educated, are left without
-a fortune, and if they are not entirely
-devoid of delicacy, they must frequently
-remain single.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Few are the modes of earning a subsistence,
-and those very humiliating.
-Perhaps to be an humble companion
-to some rich old cousin, or what is still
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_70'>70</span>worse, to live with strangers, who are
-so intolerably tyrannical, that none of
-their own relations can bear to live
-with them, though they should even
-expect a fortune in reversion. It is
-impossible to enumerate the many
-hours of anguish such a person must
-spend. Above the servants, yet considered
-by them as a spy, and ever reminded
-of her inferiority when in
-conversation with the superiors. If
-she cannot condescend to mean flattery,
-she has not a chance of being a
-favorite; and should any of the visitors
-take notice of her, and she for a
-moment forget her subordinate state,
-she is sure to be reminded of it.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_71'>71</span>Painfully sensible of unkindness, she
-is alive to every thing, and many sarcasms
-reach her, which were perhaps
-directed another way. She is alone,
-shut out from equality and confidence,
-and the concealed anxiety impairs her
-constitution; for she must wear a
-cheerful face, or be dismissed. The
-being dependant on the caprice of a
-fellow-creature, though certainly very
-necessary in this state of discipline, is
-yet a very bitter corrective, which we
-would fain shrink from.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>A teacher at a school is only a kind
-of upper servant, who has more work
-than the menial ones.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_72'>72</span>A governess to young ladies is
-equally disagreeable. It is ten to one
-if they meet with a reasonable mother;
-and if she is not so, she will be continually
-finding fault to prove she is not
-ignorant, and be displeased if her
-pupils do not improve, but angry if
-the proper methods are taken to make
-them do so. The children treat them
-with disrespect, and often with insolence.
-In the mean time life glides
-away, and the spirits with it; “and
-when youth and genial years are
-flown,” they have nothing to subsist
-on; or, perhaps, on some extraordinary
-occasion, some small allowance
-may be made for them, which is
-thought a great charity.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_73'>73</span>The few trades which are left, are
-now gradually falling into the hands
-of the men, and certainly they are not
-very respectable.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>It is hard for a person who has a
-relish for polished society, to herd with
-the vulgar, or to condescend to mix
-with her former equals when she is
-considered in a different light. What
-unwelcome heart-breaking knowledge
-is then poured in on her! I mean a
-view of the selfishness and depravity of
-the world; for every other acquirement
-is a source of pleasure, though
-they may occasion temporary inconveniences.
-How cutting is the contempt
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_74'>74</span>she meets with!—A young mind
-looks round for love and friendship;
-but love and friendship fly from poverty:
-expect them not if you are
-poor! The mind must then sink into
-meanness, and accommodate itself to
-its new state, or dare to be unhappy.
-Yet I think no reflecting person would
-give up the experience and improvement
-they have gained, to have avoided
-the misfortunes; on the contrary,
-they are thankfully ranked amongst
-the choicest blessings of life, when we
-are not under their immediate pressure.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>How earnestly does a mind full of
-sensibility look for disinterested friendship,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_75'>75</span>and long to meet with good unalloyed.
-When fortune smiles they
-hug the dear delusion; but dream not
-that it is one. The painted cloud disappears
-suddenly, the scene is changed,
-and what an aching void is left in
-the heart! a void which only religion
-can fill up—and how few seek this
-internal comfort!</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>A woman, who has beauty without
-sentiment, is in great danger of being
-seduced; and if she has any, cannot
-guard herself from painful mortifications.
-It is very disagreeable to keep
-up a continual reserve with men she
-has been formerly familiar with; yet
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_76'>76</span>if she places confidence, it is ten to
-one but she is deceived. Few men
-seriously think of marrying an inferior;
-and if they have honor enough not to
-take advantage of the artless tenderness
-of a woman who loves, and thinks
-not of the difference of rank, they do
-not undeceive her until she has anticipated
-happiness, which, contrasted with
-her dependant situation, appears delightful.
-The disappointment is severe;
-and the heart receives a wound
-which does not easily admit of a compleat
-cure, as the good that is missed
-is not valued according to its real
-worth: for fancy drew the picture,
-and grief delights to create food to
-feed on.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_77'>77</span>If what I have written should be read
-by parents, who are now going on in
-thoughtless extravagance, and anxious
-only that their daughters may be <i>genteelly
-educated</i>, let them consider to
-what sorrows they expose them; for I
-have not over-coloured the picture.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Though I warn parents to guard
-against leaving their daughters to encounter
-so much misery; yet if a young
-woman falls into it, she ought not to
-be discontented. Good must ultimately
-arise from every thing, to those
-who look beyond this infancy of their
-being; and here the comfort of a good
-conscience is our only stable support.
-The main business of our lives is to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_78'>78</span>learn to be virtuous; and He who is
-training us up for immortal bliss, knows
-best what trials will contribute to make
-us so; and our resignation and improvement
-will render us respectable
-to ourselves, and to that Being, whose
-approbation is of more value than life
-itself. It is true, tribulation produces
-anguish, and we would fain avoid the
-bitter cup, though convinced its effects
-would be the most salutary. The Almighty
-is then the kind parent, who
-chastens and educates, and indulges us
-not when it would tend to our hurt.
-He is compassion itself, and never
-wounds but to heal, when the ends of
-correction are answered.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_79'>79</span>
- <h2 id='LOVE' class='c004'>LOVE.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>I think there is not a subject that
-admits so little of reasoning on as
-love; nor can rules be laid down that
-will not appear to lean too much one
-way or the other. Circumstances
-must, in a great measure, govern the
-conduct in this particular; yet who
-can be a judge in their own case? Perhaps,
-before they begin to consider the
-matter, they see through the medium
-of passion, and its suggestions are often
-mistaken for those of reason. We
-can no other way account for the absurd
-matches we every day have an
-opportunity of observing; for in this
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_80'>80</span>respect, even the most sensible men and
-women err. A variety of causes will
-occasion an attachment; an endeavour
-to supplant another, or being by
-some accident confined to the society
-of one person. Many have found
-themselves entangled in an affair of
-honor, who only meant to fill up the
-heavy hours in an amusing way, or
-raise jealousy in some other bosom.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>It is a difficult task to write on a
-subject when our own passions are
-likely to blind us. Hurried away by
-our feelings, we are apt to set those
-things down as general maxims, which
-only our partial experience gives rise
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_81'>81</span>to. Though it is not easy to say how
-a person should act under the immediate
-influence of passion, yet they certainly
-have no excuse who are actuated
-only by vanity, and deceive by an
-equivocal behaviour in order to gratify
-it. There are quite as many male
-coquets as female, and they are far
-more pernicious pests to society, as
-their sphere of action is larger, and
-they are less exposed to the censure of
-the world. A smothered sigh, downcast
-look, and the many other little
-arts which are played off, may give extreme
-pain to a sincere, artless woman,
-though she cannot resent, or complain
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_82'>82</span>of, the injury. This kind of trifling,
-I think, much more inexcusable than
-inconstancy; and why it is so, appears
-so obvious, I need not point it out.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>People of sense and reflection are
-most apt to have violent and constant
-passions, and to be preyed on by them.
-Neither can they, for the sake of present
-pleasure, bear to act in such a
-manner, as that the retrospect should
-fill them with confusion and regret.
-Perhaps a delicate mind is not susceptible
-of a greater degree of misery,
-putting guilt out of the question, than
-what must arise from the consciousness
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_83'>83</span>of loving a person whom their reason
-does not approve. This, I am persuaded,
-has often been the case; and the passion
-must either be rooted out, or the
-continual allowances and excuses that
-are made will hurt the mind, and lessen
-the respect for virtue. Love, unsupported
-by esteem, must soon expire,
-or lead to depravity; as, on the contrary,
-when a worthy person is the object,
-it is the greatest incentive to improvement,
-and has the best effect on
-the manners and temper. We should
-always try to fix in our minds the rational
-grounds we have for loving a
-person, that we may be able to recollect
-them when we feel disgust or resentment;
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_84'>84</span>we should then habitually
-practise forbearance, and the many
-petty disputes which interrupt domestic
-peace would be avoided. A woman
-cannot reasonably be unhappy, if she
-is attached to a man of sense and
-goodness, though he may not be all
-she could wish.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>I am very far from thinking love
-irresistible, and not to be conquered.
-“If weak women go astray,” it is
-they, and not the stars, that are to be
-blamed. A resolute endeavour will
-almost always overcome difficulties.
-I knew a woman very early in life
-warmly attached to an agreeable man,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_85'>85</span>yet she saw his faults; his principles
-were unfixed, and his prodigal turn
-would have obliged her to have restrained
-every benevolent emotion of
-her heart. She exerted her influence
-to improve him, but in vain did she
-for years try to do it. Convinced of
-the impossibility, she determined not to
-marry him, though she was forced to
-encounter poverty and its attendants.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>It is too universal a maxim with
-novelists, that love is felt but once;
-though it appears to me, that the heart
-which is capable of receiving an impression
-at all, and can distinguish, will
-turn to a new object when the first is
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_86'>86</span>found unworthy. I am convinced it is
-practicable, when a respect for goodness
-has the first place in the mind,
-and notions of perfection are not affixed
-to constancy. Many ladies are
-delicately miserable, and imagine that
-they are lamenting the loss of a lover,
-when they are full of self-applause, and
-reflections on their own superior refinement.
-Painful feelings are prolonged
-beyond their natural course,
-to gratify our desire of appearing heroines,
-and we deceive ourselves as
-well as others. When any sudden stroke
-of fate deprives us of those we love,
-we may not readily get the better of
-the blow; but when we find we have
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_87'>87</span>been led astray by our passions, and
-that it was our own imaginations
-which gave the high colouring to the
-picture, we may be certain time will
-drive it out of our minds. For we
-cannot often think of our folly without
-being displeased with ourselves,
-and such reflections are quickly banished.
-Habit and duty will co-operate,
-and religion may overcome what
-reason has in vain combated with;
-but refinement and romance are often
-confounded, and sensibility, which occasions
-this kind of inconstancy, is
-supposed to have the contrary effect.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_88'>88</span>Nothing can more tend to destroy
-peace of mind, than platonic attachments.
-They are begun in false refinement,
-and frequently end in sorrow,
-if not in guilt. The two extremes
-often meet, and virtue carried to excess
-will sometimes lead to the opposite
-vice. Not that I mean to insinuate
-that there is no such thing as friendship
-between persons of different sexes;
-I am convinced of the contrary, I
-only mean to observe, that if a woman’s
-heart is disengaged, she should
-not give way to a pleasing delusion,
-and imagine she will be satisfied with
-the friendship of a man she admires,
-and prefers to the rest of the world.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_89'>89</span>The heart is very treacherous, and if
-we do not guard its first emotions, we
-shall not afterwards be able to prevent
-its sighing for impossibilities. If there
-are any insuperable bars to an union
-in the common way, try to dismiss the
-dangerous tenderness, or it will undermine
-your comfort, and betray you
-into many errors. To attempt to
-raise ourselves above human beings is
-ridiculous; we cannot extirpate our passions,
-nor is it necessary that we should,
-though it may be wise sometimes not
-to stray too near a precipice, lest we
-fall over before we are aware. We cannot
-avoid much vexation and sorrow,
-if we are ever so prudent; it is then
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_90'>90</span>the part of wisdom to enjoy those
-gleams of sunshine which do not endanger
-our innocence, or lead to repentance.
-Love gilds all the prospects
-of life, and though it cannot always
-exclude apathy, it makes many cares
-appear trifling. Dean Swift hated the
-world, and only loved particular persons;
-yet pride rivalled them. A
-foolish wish of rising superior to the
-common wants and desires of the
-human species made him singular, but
-not respectable. He sacrificed an amiable
-woman to his caprice, and made
-those shun his company who would
-have been entertained and improved
-by his conversation, had he loved any
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_91'>91</span>one as well as himself. Universal benevolence
-is the first duty, and we
-should be careful not to let any passion
-so engross our thoughts, as to prevent
-our practising it. After all the
-dreams of rapture, earthly pleasures
-will not fill the mind, or support it
-when they have not the sanction of
-reason, or are too much depended on.
-The tumult of passion will subside,
-and even the pangs of disappointment
-cease to be felt. But for the
-wicked there is a worm that never
-dies—a guilty conscience. While that
-calm satisfaction which resignation
-produces, which cannot be described,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_92'>92</span>but may be attained, in some degree,
-by those who try to keep in the strait,
-though thorny path which leads to
-bliss, shall sanctify the sorrows, and
-dignify the character of virtue.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_93'>93</span>
- <h2 id='MATRIMONY' class='c004'>MATRIMONY.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>Early marriages are, in my
-opinion, a stop to improvement.
-If we were born only “to draw nutrition,
-propagate and rot,” the sooner
-the end of creation was answered the
-better: but as women are here allowed
-to have souls, the soul ought to
-be attended to. In youth a woman
-endeavours to please the other sex, in
-order, generally speaking, to get married,
-and this endeavour calls forth all
-her powers. If she has had a tolerable
-education, the foundation only is
-laid, for the mind does not soon arrive
-at maturity, and should not be engrossed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_94'>94</span>by domestic cares before any
-habits are fixed. The passions also
-have too much influence over the
-judgment to suffer it to direct her in
-this most important affair; and many
-women, I am persuaded, marry a man
-before they are twenty, whom they
-would have rejected some years after.
-Very frequently, when the education
-has been neglected, the mind improves
-itself, if it has leisure for reflection,
-and experience to reflect on; but how
-can this happen when they are forced to
-act before they have had time to think,
-or find that they are unhappily married?
-Nay, should they be so fortunate
-as to get a good husband, they
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_95'>95</span>will not set a proper value on him; he
-will be found much inferior to the
-lovers described in novels, and their
-want of knowledge makes them frequently
-disgusted with the man, when
-the fault is in human nature.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>When a woman’s mind has gained
-some strength, she will in all probability
-pay more attention to her actions
-than a girl can be expected to do;
-and if she thinks seriously, she will
-chuse for a companion a man of principle;
-and this perhaps young people
-do not sufficiently attend to, or see
-the necessity of doing. A woman of
-feeling must be very much hurt if she
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_96'>96</span>is obliged to keep her children out of
-their father’s company, that their morals
-may not be injured by his conversation;
-and besides, the whole arduous
-task of education devolves on
-her, and in such a case it is not very
-practicable. Attention to the education
-of children must be irksome, when
-life appears to have so many charms,
-and its pleasures are not found fallacious.
-Many are but just returned
-from a boarding-school, when they
-are placed at the head of a family,
-and how fit they are to manage it, I
-leave the judicious to judge. Can
-they improve a child’s understanding,
-when they are scarcely out of the state
-of childhood themselves?</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_97'>97</span>Dignity of manners, too, and proper
-reserve are often wanting. The constant
-attendant on too much familiarity is
-contempt. Women are often before
-marriage prudish, and afterwards they
-think they may innocently give way
-to fondness, and overwhelm the poor
-man with it. They think they have
-a legal right to his affections, and
-grow remiss in their endeavours to
-please. There are a thousand nameless
-decencies which good sense gives
-rise to, and artless proofs of regard
-which flow from the heart, and will
-reach it, if it is not depraved. It has
-ever occurred to me, that it<a id='t97'></a> was sufficient
-for a woman to receive caresses,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_98'>98</span>and not bestow them. She ought to
-distinguish between fondness and tenderness.
-The latter is the sweetest
-cordial of life; but, like all other cordials,
-should be reserved for particular
-occasions; to exhilarate the spirits,
-when depressed by sickness, or lost in
-sorrow. Sensibility will best instruct.
-Some delicacies can never be pointed
-out or described, though they sink deep
-into the heart, and render the hours
-of distress supportable.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>A woman should have so proper a
-pride, as not easily to forget a deliberate
-affront; though she must not
-too hastily resent any little coolness.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_99'>99</span>We cannot always feel alike, and all
-are subject to changes of temper without
-an adequate cause.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Reason must often be called in to
-fill up the vacuums of life; but too
-many of our sex suffer theirs to lie
-dormant. A little ridicule and smart
-turn of expression, often confutes without
-convincing; and tricks are played
-off to raise tenderness, even while they
-are forfeiting esteem.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Women are said to be the weaker
-vessel, and many are the miseries which
-this weakness brings on them. Men
-have in some respects very much the advantage.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_100'>100</span>If they have a tolerable understanding,
-it has a chance to be cultivated.
-They are forced to see human
-nature as it is, and are not left to
-dwell on the pictures of their own imaginations.
-Nothing, I am sure, calls
-forth the faculties so much as the being
-obliged to struggle with the world;
-and this is not a woman’s province in
-a married state. Her sphere of action
-is not large, and if she is not taught to
-look into her own heart, how trivial
-are her occupations and pursuits!
-What little arts engross and narrow
-her mind! “Cunning fills up the
-mighty void of sense,” and cares,
-which do not improve the heart or understanding,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_101'>101</span>take up her attention.
-Of course, she falls a prey to childish
-anger, and silly capricious humors,
-which render her rather insignificant
-than vicious.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>In a comfortable situation, a cultivated
-mind is necessary to render a
-woman contented; and in a miserable
-one, it is her only consolation. A sensible,
-delicate woman, who by some
-strange accident, or mistake, is joined
-to a fool or a brute, must be wretched
-beyond all names of wretchedness, if
-her views are confined to the present
-scene. Of what importance, then, is
-intellectual improvement, when our
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_102'>102</span>comfort here, and happiness hereafter,
-depends upon it.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Principles of religion should be fixed,
-and the mind not left to fluctuate
-in the time of distress, when it can receive
-succour from no other quarter.
-The conviction that every thing is
-working for our good will scarcely
-produce resignation, when we are deprived
-of our dearest hopes. How
-they can be satisfied, who have not
-this conviction, I cannot conceive; I
-rather think they will turn to some
-worldly support, and fall into folly, if
-not vice. For a little refinement only
-leads a woman into the wilds of romance,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_103'>103</span>if she is not religious; nay,
-more, there is no true sentiment without
-it, nor perhaps any other effectual
-check to the passions.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_104'>104</span>
- <h2 id='DESULTORY_THOUGHTS' class='c004'>DESULTORY THOUGHTS.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>As every kind of domestic concern
-and family business is properly
-a woman’s province, to enable her to
-discharge her duty she should study
-the different branches of it. Nothing
-is more useful in a family than a little
-knowledge of physic, sufficient to make
-the mistress of it a judicious nurse.
-Many a person, who has had a sensible
-physician to attend them, have been
-lost for want of the other; for tenderness,
-without judgment, sometimes
-does more harm than good.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The ignorant imagine there is something
-very mysterious in the practice
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_105'>105</span>of physic. They expect a medicine
-to work like a charm, and know nothing
-of the progress and crisis of disorders.
-The keeping of the patient low
-appears cruel, all kind of regimen is
-disregarded, and though the fever
-rages, they cannot be persuaded not
-to give them inflammatory food.
-“How (say they) can a person get well
-without nourishment?”</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The mind, too, should be soothed
-at the same time; and indeed, whenever
-it sinks, soothing is, at first, better
-than reasoning. The slackened nerves
-are not to be braced by words. When
-a mind is worried by care, or oppressed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_106'>106</span>by sorrow, it cannot in a moment
-grow tranquil, and attend to the voice
-of reason.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>St. Paul says, “No chastening for
-the present seemeth to be joyous; but
-grievous: nevertheless, afterwards it
-yieldeth the peaceable fruits of righteousness
-unto them which are exercised
-thereby.” It is plain, from these
-words of the Apostle, and from many
-other parts of Scripture, that afflictions
-are necessary to teach us true
-wisdom, and that in spite of this conviction,
-men would fain avoid the
-bitter draught, though certain that the
-drinking of it would be conducive to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_107'>107</span>the purifying of their hearts. He who
-made us must know what will tend to
-our ultimate good; yet still all this is
-grievous, and the heart will throb with
-anguish when deprived of what it loves,
-and the tongue can scarcely faulter
-out an acquiescence to the Divine Will,
-when it is so contrary to our own. Due
-allowance ought then to be made for
-human infirmities, and the unhappy
-should be considered as objects of compassion,
-rather than blame. But in a very
-different stile does consolatory advice
-generally run; for instead of pouring
-oil or wine into the wound, it tends
-to convince the unfortunate persons
-that they are weak as well as unhappy.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_108'>108</span>I am apt to imagine, that sorrow and
-resignation are not incompatible; and
-that though religion cannot make some
-disappointments pleasant, it prevents
-our repining, even while we smart under
-them. Did our feelings and reason
-always coincide, our passage through
-this world could not justly be termed
-a warfare, and faith would no longer
-be a virtue. It is our preferring the
-things that are not seen, to those which
-are, that proves us to be the heirs of
-promise.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>On the sacred word of the Most
-High, we rely with firm assurance,
-that the sufferings of the present life
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_109'>109</span>will work out a far more exceeding
-and eternal weight of glory; yet still
-they are allowed to be afflictions,
-which, though temporary, must still
-be grievous.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The difference between those who
-sorrow without hope, and those who
-look up to Heaven, is not that the
-one feel more than the other, for they
-may be both equally depressed; but
-the latter think of the peaceable fruits
-which are to result from the discipline,
-and therefore patiently submit.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>I have almost run into a sermon,—and
-I shall not make an apology for it.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_110'>110</span>Whatever contributes to make us
-compassionate and resolute, is of the
-utmost consequence; both these qualities
-are necessary, if we are confined
-to a sick chamber. Various are the
-misfortunes of life, and it may be the
-lot of most of us to see death in all its
-terrors, when it attacks a friend; yet
-even then we must exert our friendship,
-and try to chear the departing
-spirit.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_111'>111</span>
- <h2 id='THE_BENEFITS_WHICH_ARISE_FROM_DISAPPOINTMENTS' class='c004'>THE BENEFITS WHICH ARISE FROM DISAPPOINTMENTS.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>Most women, and men too,
-have no character at all. Just
-opinions and virtuous passions appear
-by starts, and while we are giving way
-to the love and admiration which those
-qualities raise, they are quite different
-creatures. It is reflection which forms
-habits, and fixes principles indelibly on
-the heart; without it, the mind is like
-a wreck drifted about by every squall.
-The passion that we think most of will
-soon rival all the rest; it is then in our
-power, this way, to strengthen our
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_112'>112</span>good dispositions, and in some measure
-to establish a character, which will not
-depend on every accidental impulse.
-To be convinced of truths, and yet
-not to feel or act up to them, is a
-common thing. Present pleasure drives
-all before it, and adversity is mercifully
-sent to force us to think.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>In the school of adversity we learn
-knowledge as well as virtue; yet we
-lament our hard fate, dwell on our disappointments,
-and never consider that
-our own wayward minds, and inconsistent
-hearts, require these needful
-correctives. Medicines are not sent
-to persons in health.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_113'>113</span>It is a well-known remark, that our
-very wishes give us not our wish. I
-have often thought it might be set
-down as a maxim, that the greatest
-disappointment we can meet with is
-the gratification of our fondest wishes.
-But truth is sometimes not pleasant;
-we turn from it, and doat on an illusion;
-and if we were not in a probationary
-state, we should do well to
-thicken the cloud, rather than dispel it.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>There are some who delight in observing
-moral beauty, and their souls
-sicken when forced to view crimes and
-follies which could never hurt them.
-How numerous are the sorrows which
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_114'>114</span>reach such bosoms! They may truly
-be called <i>human creatures</i>; on every
-side they touch their fellow-mortals,
-and vibrate to the touch. Common
-humanity points out the important duties
-of our station; but sensibility (a
-kind of instinct, strengthened by reflection)
-can only teach the numberless
-minute things which give pain or
-pleasure.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>A benevolent mind often suffers
-more than the object it commiserates,
-and will bear an inconvenience itself
-to shelter another from it. It makes
-allowance for failings though it longs
-to meet perfection, which it seems
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_115'>115</span>formed to adore. The Author of all
-good continually calls himself, a God
-long-suffering; and those most resemble
-him who practice forbearance.
-Love and compassion are the most delightful
-feelings of the soul, and to exert
-them to all that breathe is the wish
-of the benevolent heart. To struggle
-with ingratitude and selfishness is grating
-beyond expression: and the sense
-we have of our weakness, though useful,
-is not pleasant. Thus it is with
-us, when we look for happiness, we
-meet with vexations: and if, now and
-then, we give way to tenderness, or
-any of the amiable passions, and taste
-pleasure, the mind, strained beyond its
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_116'>116</span>usual tone, falls into apathy. And yet
-we were made to be happy! But our
-passions will not contribute much to
-our bliss, till they are under the dominion
-of reason, and till that reason
-is enlightened and improved. Then
-sighing will cease, and all tears will be
-wiped away by that Being, in whose
-presence there is fulness of joy.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>A person of tenderness must ever
-have particular attachments, and ever
-be disappointed; yet still they must be
-attached, in spite of human frailty;
-for if the mind is not kept in motion
-by either hope or fear, it sinks into
-the dreadful state before-mentioned.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_117'>117</span>I have very often heard it made a
-subject of ridicule, that when a person
-is disappointed in this world, they turn
-to the next. Nothing can be more
-natural than the transition; and it
-seems to me the scheme of Providence,
-that our finding things unsatisfactory
-here, should force us to think of the
-better country to which we are going.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_118'>118</span>
- <h2 id='ON_THE_TREATMENT_OF_SERVANTS' class='c004'>ON THE TREATMENT OF SERVANTS.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>The management of servants is
-a great part of the employment
-of a woman’s life; and her own temper
-depends very much on her behaviour
-to them.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Servants are, in general, ignorant
-and cunning; we must consider their
-characters, if we would treat them
-properly, and continually practise forbearance.
-The same methods we use
-with children may be adopted with
-regard to them. Act uniformly, and
-never find fault without a just cause;
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_119'>119</span>and when there is, be positive, but not
-angry. A mind that is not too much
-engrossed by trifles, will not be discomposed
-by every little domestic disaster;
-and a thinking person can very readily
-make allowance for those faults which
-arise from want of reflection and education.
-I have seen the peace of a
-whole family disturbed by some trivial,
-cross accident, and hours spent in useless
-upbraidings about some mistake
-which would never have been thought
-of, but for the consequences that arose
-from it. An error in judgment or an
-accident should not be severely reprehended.
-It is a proof of wisdom to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_120'>120</span>profit by experience, and not lament
-irremediable evils.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>A benevolent person must ever wish
-to see those around them comfortable,
-and try to be the cause of that comfort.
-The wide difference which education
-makes, I should suppose, would
-prevent familiarity in the way of equality;
-yet kindness must be shewn, if we
-are desirous that our domestics should
-be attached to our interest and persons.
-How pleasing it is to be attended
-with a smile of willingness, to
-be consulted when they are at a loss,
-and looked up to as a friend and benefactor
-when they are in distress. It
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_121'>121</span>is true we may often meet with ingratitude,
-but it ought not to discourage
-us; the refreshing showers of heaven
-fertilize the fields of the unworthy, as
-well as the just. We should nurse
-them in illness, and our superior judgment
-in those matters would often alleviate
-their pains.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Above all, we owe them a good
-example. The ceremonials of religion,
-on their account, should be attended
-to; as they always reverence
-them to a superstitious degree, or else
-neglect them. We should not shock
-the faith of the meanest fellow-creature;
-nay more, we should comply
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_122'>122</span>with their prejudices; for their religious
-notions are so over-run with
-them, that they are not easily separated;
-and by trying to pluck up the
-tares, we may root up the wheat with
-them.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The woman who gives way to caprice
-and ill-humour in the kitchen,
-cannot easily smooth her brow when
-her husband returns to his fire-side;
-nay, he may not only see the wrinkles
-of anger, but hear the disputes at
-second-hand. I heard a Gentleman
-say, it would break any man’s heart to
-hear his wife argue such a case. Men
-who are employed about things of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_123'>123</span>consequence, think these affairs more
-insignificant than they really are; for
-the warmth with which we engage in
-any business increases its importance,
-and our not entering into them has
-the contrary effect.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The behaviour of girls to servants
-is generally in extremes; too familiar
-or haughty. Indeed the one often
-produces the other, as a check, when
-the freedoms are troublesome.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>We cannot make our servants wise
-or good, but we may teach them to be
-decent and orderly; and order leads
-to some degree of morality.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_124'>124</span>
- <h2 id='THE_OBSERVANCE_OF_SUNDAY' class='c004'>THE OBSERVANCE OF SUNDAY.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>The institution of keeping the
-seventh day holy was wisely ordered
-by Providence for two purposes.
-To rest the body, and call off the
-mind from the too eager pursuit of
-the shadows of this life, which, I am
-afraid, often obscure the prospect of
-futurity, and fix our thoughts on earth.
-A respect for this ordinance is, I am
-persuaded, of the utmost consequence
-to national religion. The vulgar have
-such a notion of it, that with them,
-going to church, and being religious,
-are almost synonymous terms. They
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_125'>125</span>are so lost in their senses, that if this
-day did not continually remind them,
-they would soon forget that there was
-a God in the world. Some forms are
-necessary to support vital religion, and
-without them it would soon languish,
-and at last expire.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>It is unfortunate, that this day is
-either kept with puritanical exactness,
-which renders it very irksome, or lost
-in dissipation and thoughtlessness. Either
-way is very prejudicial to the
-minds of children and servants, who
-ought not to be let run wild, not
-confined too strictly; and, above all,
-should not see their parents or masters
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_126'>126</span>indulge themselves in things which
-are generally thought wrong. I am
-fully persuaded, that servants have such
-a notion of card-playing, that where-ever
-it is practised of a Sunday their
-minds are hurt; and the barrier between
-good and evil in some measure
-broken down. Servants, who are accustomed
-to bodily labour, will fall
-into as laborious pleasures, if they are
-not gently restrained, and some substitute
-found out for them.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Such a close attention to a family
-may appear to many very disagreeable;
-but the path of duty will be
-found pleasant after some time; and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_127'>127</span>the passions being employed this way,
-will, by degrees, come under the subjection
-of reason. I mean not to be
-rigid, the obstructions which arise in
-the way of our duty, do not strike a
-speculatist; I know, too, that in the
-moment of action, even a well-disposed
-mind is often carried away by the
-present impulse, and that it requires
-some experience to be able to distinguish
-the dictates of reason from those
-of passion. The truth is seldom found
-out until the tumult is over; we then
-wake as from a dream, and when we
-survey what we have done, and feel
-the folly of it, we might call on reason
-and say, why sleepest thou? Yet
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_128'>128</span>though people are led astray by their
-passions, and even relapse after the
-most bitter repentance, they should
-not despair, but still try to regain the
-right road, and cultivate such habits
-as may assist them.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>I never knew much social virtue to
-reside in a house where the sabbath
-was grossly violated.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_129'>129</span>
- <h2 id='ON_THE_MISFORTUNE_OF_FLUCTUATING_PRINCIPLES' class='c004'>ON THE MISFORTUNE OF FLUCTUATING PRINCIPLES.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>If we look for any comfort in friendship
-or society, we must associate
-with those who have fixed principles
-with respect to religion; for without
-them, repeated experience convinces
-me, the most shining qualities are unstable,
-and not to be depended on.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>It has often been a matter of surprise
-to me, that so few people examine
-the tenets of the religion they
-profess, or are christians through conviction.
-They have no anchor to rest
-on, nor any fixed chart to direct them
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_130'>130</span>in the doubtful voyage of life; how then
-can they hope to find the “haven of
-rest?” But they think not of it, and
-cannot be expected to forego present
-advantages. Noble actions must arise
-from noble thoughts and views; when
-they are confined to this world, they
-must be groveling.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Faith, with respect to the promise
-of eternal happiness, can only enable
-us to combat with our passions, with a
-chance of victory. There are many
-who pay no attention to revelation,
-and more, perhaps, who have not any
-fixed belief in it. The sure word of
-comfort is neglected; and how people
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_131'>131</span>can live without it, I can scarcely
-conceive. For as the sun renews the
-face of nature, and chases away darkness
-from the world, so does this, still
-greater blessing, have the same effect
-on the mind, and enlightens and cheers
-it when every thing else fails.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>A true sense of our infirmities is the
-way to make us christians in the most
-extensive sense of the word. A mind
-depressed with a weight of weaknesses
-can only find comfort in the promises
-of the Gospel. The assistance there
-offered must raise the humble soul;
-and the account of the atonement
-that has been made, gives a rational
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_132'>132</span>ground for resting in hope until the
-toil of virtue is over, and faith has
-nothing to be exercised on.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>It is the fashion now for young men
-to be deists. And many a one has
-improper books sent adrift in a sea
-of doubts—of which there is no end.
-This is not a land of certainty; there
-is no confining the wandering reason,
-and but one clue to prevent its
-being lost in endless researches. Reason
-is indeed the heaven-lighted lamp
-in man, and may safely be trusted
-when not entirely depended on; but
-when it pretends to discover what is
-beyond its ken, it certainly stretches
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_133'>133</span>the line too far, and runs into absurdity.
-Some speculations are idle and
-others hurtful, as they raise pride, and
-turn the thoughts to subjects that
-ought to be left unexplored. With
-love and awe we should think of the
-High and Lofty One, that inhabiteth
-eternity! and not presume to say how
-He must exist who created us. How
-unfortunate it is, that man must sink
-into a brute, and not employ his mind,
-or else, by thinking, grow so proud,
-as often to imagine himself a superior
-being! It is not the doubts of
-profound thinkers that I here allude
-to, but the crude notions which young
-men sport away when together, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_134'>134</span>sometimes in the company of young
-women, to make them wonder at their
-superior wisdom! There cannot be
-any thing more dangerous to a mind,
-not accustomed to think, than doubts
-delivered in a ridiculing way. They
-never go deep enough to solve them,
-of course they stick by them; and
-though they might not influence their
-conduct, if a fear of the world prevents
-their being guilty of vices, yet
-their thoughts are not restrained, and
-they should be observed diligently,
-“For out of them are the issues of
-life.” A nice sense of right and wrong
-ought to be acquired, and then not
-only great vices will be avoided, but
-every little meanness; truth will reign
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_135'>135</span>in the inward parts, and mercy will
-attend her.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>I have indeed so much compassion
-for those young females who are entering
-into the world without fixed
-principles, that I would fain persuade
-them to examine a little into the
-matter. For though in the season of
-gaiety they may not feel the want of
-them, in that of distress where will
-they fly for succour? Even with this
-support, life is a labor of patience—a
-conflict; and the utmost we can gain
-is a small portion of peace, a kind of
-watchful tranquillity, that is liable to
-continual interruptions.</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c008'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_136'>136</span>“Then keep each passion down, however dear;</div>
- <div class='line'>“Trust me, the tender are the most severe.</div>
- <div class='line'>“Guard, while ’tis thine, thy philosophic ease,</div>
- <div class='line'>“And ask no joy but that of virtuous peace;</div>
- <div class='line'>“That bids defiance to the storms of fate:</div>
- <div class='line'>“High bliss is only for a higher state.”</div>
- <div class='line in34'><span class='sc'>Thomson.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_137'>137</span>
- <h2 id='BENEVOLENCE' class='c004'>BENEVOLENCE.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>This first, and most amiable virtue,
-is often found in young
-persons that afterwards grow selfish;
-a knowledge of the arts of others, is
-an excuse to them for practicing the
-same; and because they have been
-deceived once, or have found objects
-unworthy of their charity—if any one
-appeals to their feelings, the formidable
-word Imposture instantly banishes
-the compassionate emotions, and silences
-conscience. I do not mean to
-confine the exercise of benevolence to
-alms-giving, though it is a very material
-part of it. Faith, hope, and charity
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_138'>138</span>ought to attend us in our passage
-through this world; but the two first
-leave us when we die, while the other
-is to be the constant inmate of our
-breast through all eternity. We ought
-not to suffer the heavenly spark to be
-quenched by selfishness; if we do, how
-can we expect it to revive, when the
-soul is disentangled from the body,
-and should be prepared for the realms
-of love? Forbearance and liberality
-of sentiment are the virtues of maturity.
-Children should be taught every
-thing in a positive way; and their own
-experience can only teach them afterwards
-to make distinctions and allowances.
-It is then the inferior part of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_139'>139</span>benevolence that comes within their
-sphere of action, and it should not be
-suffered to sleep. Some part of the
-money that is allowed them for pocket-money,
-they should be encouraged to
-lay out this way, and the short-lived
-emotions of pity continually retraced
-’till they grow into habits.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>I knew a child that would, when
-very young, sit down and cry if it met
-a poor person, after it had laid out its
-money in cakes; this occurred once
-or twice, and the tears were shed with
-additional distress every time; till at
-last it resisted the temptation, and
-saved the money.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_140'>140</span>I think it a very good method for
-girls to have a certain allowance for
-cloaths. A mother can easily, without
-seeming to do it, observe how they
-spend it, and direct them accordingly.
-By these means they would learn the
-value of money, and be obliged to
-contrive. This would be a practical
-lesson of œconomy superior to all the
-theories that could be thought of.
-The having a fixed stipend, too, would
-enable them to be charitable, in the
-true sense of the word, as they would
-then give their own; and by denying
-themselves little ornaments, and doing
-their own work, they might increase
-the sum appropriated to charitable
-purposes.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_141'>141</span>A lively principle of this kind would
-also overcome indolence; for I have
-known people wasteful and penurious
-at the same time; but the wastefulness
-was to spare themselves trouble,
-and others only felt the effects of their
-penury, to make the balance even.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Women too often confine their love
-and charity to their own families.
-They fix not in their minds the precedency
-of moral obligations, or make
-their feelings give way to duty. Goodwill
-to all the human race should dwell
-in our bosoms, nor should love to individuals
-induce us to violate this first
-of duties, or make us sacrifice the interest
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_142'>142</span>of any fellow-creature, to promote
-that of another, whom we happen
-to be more partial to. A parent, under
-distressed circumstances, should be supported,
-even though it should prevent
-our saving a fortune for a child; nay
-more, should they be both in distress
-at the same time, the prior obligation
-should be first discharged.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Under this head may be included
-the treatment of animals. Over them
-many children tyrannize with impunity;
-and find amusement in tormenting,
-or wantonly killing, any insect that
-comes in their way, though it does
-them no injury. I am persuaded, if
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_143'>143</span>they were told stories of them, and led
-to take an interest in their welfare and
-occupations, they would be tender to
-them; as it is, they think man the
-only thing of consequence in the creation.
-I once prevented a girl’s killing
-ants, for sport, by adapting Mr.
-Addison’s account of them to her understanding.
-Ever after she was careful
-not to tread on them, lest she should
-distress the whole community.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Stories of insects and animals are
-the first that should rouse the childish
-passions, and exercise humanity; and
-then they will rise to man, and from
-him to his Maker.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_144'>144</span>
- <h2 id='CARD-PLAYING' class='c004'>CARD-PLAYING.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>Card-playing is now the constant
-amusement, I may say employment,
-of young and old, in genteel life.
-After all the fatigue of the toilet,
-blooming girls are set down to card-tables,
-and the most unpleasing passions
-called forth. Avarice does not
-wait for grey hairs and wrinkles, but
-marks a countenance where the loves
-and graces ought to revel. The hours
-that should be spent in improving the
-mind, or in innocent mirth, are thus
-thrown away; and if the stake is not
-considerable enough to rouse the passions,
-lost in insipidity, and a habit acquired
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_145'>145</span>which may lead to serious mischief.
-Not to talk of gaming, many
-people play for more than they can
-well afford to lose, and this sours their
-temper. Cards are the universal refuge
-to which the idle and the ignorant resort,
-to pass life away, and to keep their
-inactive souls awake, by the tumult of
-hope and fear.</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c008'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“Unknown to them, when sensual pleasures cloy,</div>
- <div class='line'>“To fill the languid pause with finer joy;</div>
- <div class='line'>“Unknown those powers that raise the soul to flame,</div>
- <div class='line'>“Catch every nerve, and vibrate through the frame.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c009'>And, of course, this is their favourite
-amusement. Silent, stupid attention
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_146'>146</span>appears necessary; and too frequently
-little arts are practised which debase
-the character, and at best give it a
-trifling turn. Certainly nothing can
-be more absurd than permitting girls
-to acquire a fondness for cards. In
-youth the imagination is lively, and
-novelty gives charms to every scene;
-pleasure almost obtrudes itself, and
-the pliable mind and warm affections
-are easily wrought on. They want
-not those resources, which even respectable
-and sensible persons sometimes
-find necessary, when they see
-life, as it is unsatisfactory, and cannot
-anticipate pleasures, which they know
-will fade when nearly viewed. Youth
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_147'>147</span>is the season of activity, and should
-not be lost in listlessness. Knowledge
-ought to be acquired, a laudable ambition
-encouraged; and even the errors
-of passion may produce useful experience,
-expand the faculties, and
-teach them to know their own hearts.
-The most shining abilities, and the
-most amiable dispositions of the mind,
-require culture, and a proper situation,
-not only to ripen and improve them,
-but to guard them against the perversions
-of vice, and the contagious influence
-of bad examples.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_148'>148</span>
- <h2 id='THE_THEATRE' class='c004'>THE THEATRE.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>The amusements which this place
-afford are generally supposed
-the most rational, and are really so to
-a cultivated mind; yet one that is not
-quite formed may learn affectation at
-the theatre. Many of our admired
-tragedies are too full of declamation,
-and a false display of the passions. A
-heroine is often made to grieve ten or
-twenty years, and yet the unabated
-sorrow has not given her cheeks a
-pallid hue; she still inspires the most
-violent passion in every beholder, and
-her own yields not to time. The prominent
-features of a passion are easily
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_149'>149</span>copied, while the more delicate touches
-are overlooked. That start of Cordelia’s,
-when her father says, “I
-think that Lady is my daughter,” has
-affected me beyond measure, when I
-could unmoved hear Calista describe
-the cave in which she would live
-“Until her tears had washed her guilt
-away.”</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The principal characters are too
-frequently made to rise above human
-nature, or sink below it; and this occasions
-many false conclusions. The
-chief use of dramatic performances
-should be to teach us to discriminate
-characters; but if we rest in separating
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_150'>150</span>the good from the bad, we are
-very superficial observers. May I venture
-a conjecture?—I cannot help
-thinking, that every human creature
-has some spark of goodness, which
-their long-suffering and benevolent
-Father gives them an opportunity of
-improving, though they may perversely
-smother it before they cease to breathe.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Death is treated in too slight a
-manner; and sought, when disappointments
-occur, with a degree of impatience,
-which proves that the main
-end of life has not been considered.
-That fearful punishment of sin, and
-convulsion of nature, is too often exposed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_151'>151</span>to public view. Until very
-lately I never had the courage even to
-look at a person dying on the stage.
-The hour of death is not the time
-for the display of passions; nor do I
-think it natural it should: the mind
-is then dreadfully disturbed, and the
-trifling sorrows of this world not
-thought of. The deaths on the stage,
-in spite of the boasted sensibility of the
-age, seem to have much the same
-effect on a polite audience, as the execution
-of malefactors has on the mob
-that follow them to Tyburn.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>The worst species of immorality is inculcated,
-and life (which is to determine
-the fate of eternity) thrown away when
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_152'>152</span>a kingdom or mistress is lost. Patience
-and submission to the will of
-Heaven, and those virtues which render
-us useful to society, are not brought
-forward to view; nor can they occasion
-those surprising turns of fortune
-which most delight vulgar minds.
-The almost imperceptible progress of
-the passions, which Shakespeare has so
-finely delineated, are not sufficiently
-observed, though the start of the actor
-is applauded. Few tragedies, I think,
-will please a person of discernment,
-and their sensibility is sure to be hurt.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Young persons, who are happily
-situated, do well to enter into fictitious
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_153'>153</span>distress; and if they have any
-judicious person to direct their judgment,
-it may be improved while their
-hearts are melted. Yet I would not
-have them confine their compassion to
-the distresses occasioned by love; and
-perhaps their feelings might more profitably
-be roused, if they were to see
-sometimes the complicated, misery of
-sickness and poverty, and weep for the
-beggar instead of the king.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Comedy is not now so censurable as
-it was some years ago; and a chaste
-ear is not often shocked with indecencies.
-When follies are pointed
-out, and vanity ridiculed, it may be
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_154'>154</span>very improving; and perhaps the
-stage is the only place where ridicule
-is useful.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>What I have said is certainly only
-applicable to those who go to see the
-play, and not to shew themselves and
-waste time. The most insignificant
-amusement will afford instruction to
-thinking minds, and the most rational
-will be lost on a vacant one.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Remarks on the actors are frequently
-very tiresome. It is a fashionable
-topic, and a thread-bare
-one; it requires great abilities, and
-a knowledge of nature, to be a competent
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_155'>155</span>judge; and those who do not
-enter into the spirit of the author, are
-not qualified to converse with confidence
-on the subject.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_156'>156</span>
- <h2 id='PUBLIC_PLACES' class='c004'>PUBLIC PLACES.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c005'>Under this head I rank all those
-places, which are open to an indiscriminate
-resort of company. There
-seems at present such a rage for pleasure,
-that when adversity does not call
-home the thoughts, the whole day is
-mostly spent in preparations and plans,
-or in actual dissipation. Solitude appears
-insupportable, and domestic
-comfort stupid. And though the amusements
-may not always be relished,
-the mind is so enervated it cannot
-exert itself to find out any other substitute.
-An immoderate fondness for
-dress is acquired, and many fashionable
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_157'>157</span>females spend half the night in
-going from one place to another to
-display their finery, repeat commonplace
-compliments, and raise envy in
-their acquaintance whom they endeavour
-to outshine. Women, who are
-engaged in those scenes, must spend
-more time in dress than they ought to
-do, and it will occupy their thoughts
-when they should be better employed.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>In the fine Lady how few traits do
-we observe of those affections which
-dignify human nature! If she has any
-maternal tenderness, it is of a childish
-kind. We cannot be too careful not
-to verge on this character; though
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_158'>158</span>she lives many years she is still a child
-in understanding, and of so little use
-to society, that her death would
-scarcely be observed.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>Dissipation leads to poverty, which
-cannot be patiently borne by those who
-have lived on the vain applause of
-others, on account of outward advantages;
-these were the things they
-imagined of most consequence, and of
-course they are tormented with false
-shame, when by a reverse of fortune
-they are deprived of them.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'>A young innocent girl, when she
-first enters into gay scenes, finds her
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_159'>159</span>spirits so raised by them, that she would
-often be lost in delight, if she was not
-checked by observing the behaviour
-of a class of females who attend those
-places. What a painful train of reflections
-do then arise in the mind,
-and convictions of the vice and folly
-of the world are prematurely forced
-on it. It is no longer a paradise, for
-innocence is not there; the taint of
-vice poisons every enjoyment, and affectation,
-though despised, is very contagious.
-If these reflections do not
-occur, languor follows the extraordinary
-exertions, and weak minds fall a
-prey to imaginary distress, to banish
-which they are obliged to take as a remedy
-what produced the disease.</p>
-
-<p class='c007'><span class='pageno' id='Page_160'>160</span>We talk of amusements unbending
-the mind; so they ought; yet even in
-the hours of relaxation we are acquiring
-habits. A mind accustomed to
-observe can never be quite idle, and
-will catch improvement on all occasions.
-Our pursuits and pleasures
-should have the same tendency, and
-every thing concur to prepare us for a
-state of purity and happiness. There
-vice and folly will not poison our
-pleasures; our faculties will expand;
-and not mistake their objects; and we
-shall no longer “see as through a
-glass darkly, but know, even as we
-are known.”</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div>FINIS.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c003' />
-</div>
-<div class='tnotes x-ebookmaker'>
-
-<div class='chapter ph2'>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c006'>
- <div>TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
- <ol class='ol_1 c002'>
- <li>P. <a href='#t97'>97</a>, changed “is was sufficient” to “it was sufficient”.
-
- </li>
- <li>Silently corrected obvious typographical errors and variations in spelling.
-
- </li>
- <li>Retained archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings as printed.
- </li>
- </ol>
-
-</div>
-
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