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diff --git a/old/67466-0.txt b/old/67466-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 94f57f8..0000000 --- a/old/67466-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,2086 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Thoughts on the Education of -Daughters, by Mary Wollstonecraft - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Thoughts on the Education of Daughters - with Reflections on Female Conduct, in The more important Duties - of Life - -Author: Mary Wollstonecraft - -Release Date: February 21, 2022 [eBook #67466] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading - Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from - images generously made available by The Internet Archive) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THOUGHTS ON THE EDUCATION OF -DAUGHTERS *** - - - - - - THOUGHTS - - ON THE - - EDUCATION - - OF - - DAUGHTERS: - - WITH - - REFLECTIONS ON FEMALE CONDUCT, - - IN - - The more important DUTIES of LIFE, - - - By MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT. - - - LONDON: - PRINTED FOR J. JOHNSON, N^o 72, ST. PAUL’S - CHURCH-YARD. - - M DCC LXXXVII. - - - - - PREFACE. - - -In the following pages I have endeavoured to point out some important -things with respect to female education. It is true, many treatises have -been already written; yet it occurred to me, that much still remained to -be said. I shall not swell these sheets by writing apologies for my -attempt. I am afraid, indeed, the reflections will, by some, be thought -too grave; but I could not make them less so without writing affectedly; -yet, though they may be insipid to the gay, others may not think them -so; and if they should prove useful to one fellow-creature, and beguile -any hours, which sorrow has made heavy, I shall think I have not been -employed in vain. - - - - - CONTENTS - - PREFACE - The NURSERY - MORAL DISCIPLINE - EXTERIOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS - ARTIFICIAL MANNERS - DRESS - The FINE ARTS - READING - BOARDING-SCHOOLS - The TEMPER - Unfortunate Situation of Females, fashionably educated, and left without - a Fortune - LOVE - MATRIMONY - DESULTORY THOUGHTS - THE BENEFITS WHICH ARISE FROM DISAPPOINTMENTS - ON THE TREATMENT OF SERVANTS - THE OBSERVANCE OF SUNDAY - ON THE MISFORTUNE OF FLUCTUATING PRINCIPLES - BENEVOLENCE - CARD-PLAYING - THE THEATRE - PUBLIC PLACES - - - - - THOUGHTS - ON THE - - EDUCATION - - OF - - DAUGHTERS. - - - - - THE NURSERY. - - -As I conceive it to be the duty of every rational creature to attend to -its offspring, I am sorry to observe, that reason and duty together have -not so powerful an influence over human conduct, as instinct has in the -brute creation. Indolence, and a thoughtless disregard of every thing, -except the present indulgence, make many mothers, who may have momentary -starts of tenderness, neglect their children. They follow a pleasing -impulse, and never reflect that reason should cultivate and govern those -instincts which are implanted in us to render the path of duty -pleasant—for if they are not governed they will run wild; and strengthen -the passions which are ever endeavouring to obtain dominion—I mean -vanity and self-love. - -The first thing to be attended to, is laying the foundation of a good -constitution. The mother (if there are not very weighty reasons to -prevent her) ought to suckle her children. Her milk is their proper -nutriment, and for some time is quite sufficient. Were a regular mode of -suckling adopted, it would be far from being a laborious task. Children, -who are left to the care of ignorant nurses, have their stomachs -overloaded with improper food, which turns acid, and renders them very -uncomfortable. We should be particularly careful to guard them in their -infant state from bodily pain; as their minds can then afford them no -amusement to alleviate it. The first years of a child’s life are -frequently made miserable through negligence or ignorance. Their -complaints are mostly in their stomach or bowels; and these complaints -generally arise from the quality and quantity of their food. - -The suckling of a child also excites the warmest glow of tenderness—Its -dependant, helpless state produces an affection, which may properly be -termed maternal. I have even felt it, when I have seen a mother perform -that office; and am of opinion, that maternal tenderness arises quite as -much from habit as instinct. It is possible, I am convinced, to acquire -the affection of a parent for an adopted child; it is necessary, -therefore, for a mother to perform the office of one, in order to -produce in herself a rational affection for her offspring. - -Children very early contract the manners of those about them. It is easy -to distinguish the child of a well-bred person, if it is not left -entirely to the nurse’s care. These women are of course ignorant, and to -keep a child quiet for the moment, they humour all its little caprices. -Very soon does it begin to be perverse, and eager to be gratified in -every thing. The usual mode of acting is complying with the humours -sometimes, and contradicting them at others—just according to the -dictates of an uncorrected temper. This the infant finds out earlier -than can be imagined, and it gives rise to an affection devoid of -respect. Uniformity of conduct is the only feasible method of creating -both. An inflexible adherence to any rule that has been laid down makes -children comfortable, and saves the mother and nurse much trouble, as -they will not often contest, if they have not once conquered. They will, -I am sure, love and respect a person who treats them properly, if some -one else does not indiscreetly indulge them. I once heard a judicious -father say, “He would treat his child as he would his horse: first -convince it he was its master, and then its friend.” But yet a rigid -style of behaviour is by no means to be adopted; on the contrary, I wish -to remark, that it is only in the years of childhood that the happiness -of a human being depends entirely on others—and to embitter those years -by needless restraint is cruel. To conciliate affection, affection must -be shown, and little proofs of it ought always to be given—let them not -appear weaknesses, and they will sink deep into the young mind, and call -forth its most amiable propensities. The turbulent passions may be kept -down till reason begins to dawn. - -In the nursery too, they are taught to speak; and there they not only -hear nonsense, but that nonsense retailed out in such silly, affected -tones as must disgust;—yet these are the tones which the child first -imitates, and its innocent playful manner renders them tolerable, if not -pleasing; but afterwards they are not easily got the better of—nay, many -women always retain the pretty prattle of the nursery, and do not forget -to lisp, when they have learnt to languish. - -Children are taught revenge and lies in their very cradles. If they fall -down, or strike their heads against any thing, to quiet them they are -bid return the injury, and their little hands held out to do it. When -they cry, or are troublesome, the cat or dog is chastised, or some -bugbear called to take them away; which only terrifies them at first, -for they soon find out that the nurse means nothing by these dreadful -threatenings. Indeed, so well do they discover the fallacy, that I have -seen little creatures, who could scarcely speak, play over the same -tricks with their doll or the cat. - -How, then, when the mind comes under discipline, can precepts of truth -be inforced, when the first examples they have had would lead them to -practice the contrary? - - - - - MORAL DISCIPLINE. - - -It has been asserted, “That no being, merely human, could properly -educate a child.” I entirely coincide with this author; but though -perfection cannot be attained, and unforeseen events will ever govern -human conduct, yet still it is our duty to lay down some rule to -regulate our actions by, and to adhere to it, as consistently as our -infirmities will permit. To be able to follow Mr. Locke’s system (and -this may be said of almost all treatises on education) the parents must -have subdued their own passions, which is not often the case in any -considerable degree. - -The marriage state is too often a state of discord; it does not always -happen that both parents are rational, and the weakest have it in their -power to do most mischief. - -How then are the tender minds of children to be cultivated?—Mamma is -only anxious that they should love her best, and perhaps takes pains to -sow those seeds, which have produced such luxuriant weeds in her own -mind. Or, what still more frequently occurs, the children are at first -made play-things of, and when their tempers have been spoiled by -indiscreet indulgence, they become troublesome, and are mostly left with -servants; the first notions they imbibe, therefore, are mean and vulgar. -They are taught cunning, the wisdom of that class of people, and a love -of truth, the foundation of virtue, is soon obliterated from their -minds. It is, in my opinion, a well-proved fact, that principles of -truth are innate. Without reasoning we assent to many truths; we feel -their force, and artful sophistry can only blunt those feelings which -nature has implanted in us as instinctive guards to virtue. -Dissimulation and cunning will soon drive all other good qualities -before them, and deprive the mind of that beautiful simplicity, which -can never be too much cherished. - -Indeed it is of the utmost consequence to make a child artless, or to -speak with more propriety, not to teach them to be otherwise; and in -order to do so we must keep them out of the way of bad examples. Art is -almost always practiced by servants, and the same methods which children -observe them to use, to shield themselves from blame, they will -adopt—and cunning is so nearly allied to falsehood, that it will -infallibly lead to it—or some foolish prevaricating subterfuge will -occur; to silence any reproaches of the mind which may arise, if an -attention to truth has been inculcated. - -Another cause or source of art is injudicious correction. Accidents or -giddy tricks are too frequently punished, and if children can conceal -these, they will, to avoid chastisement. Restrain them, therefore, but -never correct them without a very sufficient cause; such as a violation -of truth, cruelty to animals, inferiors, or those kind of follies which -lead to vice. - -Children should be permitted to enter into conversation; but it requires -great discernment to find out such subjects as will gradually improve -them. Animals are the first objects which catch their attention; and I -think little stories about them would not only amuse but instruct at the -same time, and have the best effect in forming the temper and -cultivating the good dispositions of the heart. There are many little -books which have this tendency. One in particular I recollect: The -Perambulations of a Mouse. I cannot here help mentioning a book of -hymns, in measured prose, written by the ingenious author of many other -proper lessons for children. These hymns, I imagine, would contribute to -fill the heart with religious sentiments and affections; and, if I may -be allowed the expression, make the Deity obvious to the senses. The -understanding, however, should not be overloaded any more than the -stomach. Intellectual improvements, like the growth and formation of the -body, must be gradual—yet there is no reason why the mind should lie -fallow, while its “frail tenement” is imperceptibly fitting itself for a -more reasonable inhabitant. It will not lie fallow; promiscuous seeds -will be sown by accident, and they will shoot up with the wheat, and -perhaps never be eradicated. - -Whenever a child asks a question, it should always have a reasonable -answer given it. Its little passions should be engaged. They are mostly -fond of stories, and proper ones would improve them even while they are -amused. Instead of these, their heads are filled with improbable tales, -and superstitious accounts of invisible beings, which breed strange -prejudices and vain fears in their minds. - -The lisp of the nursery is confirmed, and vulgar phrases are acquired; -which children, if possible, should never hear. To be able to express -the thoughts with facility and propriety, is of great consequence in -life, and if children were never led astray in this particular, it would -prevent much trouble. - -The riot too of the kitchen, or any other place where children are left -only with servants, makes the decent restraint of the parlour irksome. A -girl, who has vivacity, soon grows a romp; and if there are male -servants, they go out a walking with them, and will frequently take -little freedoms with Miss, the bearing with which gives a forwardness to -her air, and makes her pert. The becoming modesty, which being -accustomed to converse with superiors, will give a girl, is entirely -done away. I must own, I am quite charmed when I see a sweet young -creature, shrinking as it were from observation, and listening rather -than talking. It is possible a girl may have this manner without having -a very good understanding. If it should be so, this diffidence prevents -her from being troublesome. - -It is the duty of a parent to preserve a child from receiving wrong -impressions.—As to prejudices, the first notions we have deserve that -name; for it is not till we begin to waver in our opinions, that we -exert our reason to examine them—and then, if they are received, they -may be called our own. - -The first things, then, that children ought to be encouraged to observe, -are a strict adherence to truth; a proper submission to superiors; and -condescension to inferiors. These are the main articles; but there are -many others, which compared to them are trivial, and yet are of -importance. It is not pleasing to see a child full of bows and grimaces; -yet they need not be suffered to be rude. They should be employed, and -such fables and tales may be culled out for them as would excite their -curiosity. A taste for the beauties of nature should be very early -cultivated: many things, with respect to the vegetable and animal world, -may be explained in an amusing way; and this is an innocent source of -pleasure within every one’s reach. - -Above all, try to teach them to combine their ideas. It is of more use -than can be conceived, for a child to learn to compare things that are -similar in some respects, and different in others. I wish them to be -taught to think—thinking, indeed, is a severe exercise, and exercise of -either mind or body will not at first be entered on, but with a view to -pleasure. Not that I would have them make long reflections; for when -they do not arise from experience, they are mostly absurd. - - - - - EXTERIOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS. - - -Under this head may be ranked all those accomplishments which merely -render the person attractive; and those half-learnt ones which do not -improve the mind. “A little learning of any kind is a dangerous thing;” -and so far from making a person pleasing, it has the contrary effect. - -Parents have mostly some weighty business in hand, which they make a -pretext to themselves for neglecting the arduous task of educating their -children; they are therefore sent to school, and the allowance for them -is so low, that the person who undertakes the charge must have more than -she can possibly attend to; of course, the mechanical parts of education -can only be observed. I have known children who could repeat things in -the order they learnt them, that were quite at a loss when put out of -the beaten track. If the understanding is not exercised, the memory will -be employed to little purpose. - -Girls learn something of music, drawing, and geography; but they do not -know enough to engage their attention, and render it an employment of -the mind. If they can play over a few tunes to their acquaintance, and -have a drawing or two (half done by the master) to hang up in their -rooms, they imagine themselves artists for the rest of their lives. It -is not the being able to execute a trifling landscape, or any thing of -the kind, that is of consequence—These are at best but trifles, and the -foolish, indiscriminate praises which are bestowed on them only produce -vanity. But what is really of no importance, when considered in this -light, becomes of the utmost, when a girl has a fondness for the art, -and a desire of excellence. Whatever tends to make a person in some -measure independent of the senses, is a prop to virtue. Amusing -employments must first occupy the mind; and as an attention to moral -duties leads to piety, so whoever weighs one subject will turn to -others, and new ideas will rush into the mind. The faculties will be -exercised, and not suffered to sleep, which will give a variety to the -character. - -Dancing and elegance of manners are very pleasing, if too great a stress -is not laid on them. These acquirements catch the senses, and open the -way to the heart; but unsupported by solid good qualities, their reign -is short. - -The lively thoughtlessness of youth makes every young creature agreeable -for the time; but when those years are flown, and sense is not -substituted in the stead of vivacity, the follies of youth are acted -over, and they never consider, that the things which please in their -proper season, disgust out of it. It is very absurd to see a woman, -whose brow time has marked with wrinkles, aping the manners of a girl in -her teens. - -I do not think it foreign to the present subject to mention the trifling -conversations women are mostly fond of. In general, they are prone to -ridicule. As they lay the greatest stress on manners, the most -respectable characters will not escape its lash, if deficient in this -article. Ridicule has been, with some people, the boasted test of -truth—if so, our sex ought to make wonderful improvements; but I am apt -to think, they often exert this talent till they lose all perception of -it themselves. Affectation, and not ignorance, is the fair game for -ridicule; and even affectation some good-natured persons will spare. We -should never give pain without a design to amend. - -Exterior accomplishments are not to be despised, if the acquiring of -them does not satisfy the possessors, and prevent their cultivating the -more important ones. - - - - - ARTIFICIAL MANNERS. - - -It may be thought, that artificial manners and exterior accomplishments -are much the same; but I think the former take a far wider range, and -are materially different. The one arises from affectation, and the other -seems only an error in judgment. - -The emotions of the mind often appear conspicuous in the countenance and -manner. These emotions, when they arise from sensibility and virtue, are -inexpressibly pleasing. But it is easier to copy the cast of -countenance, than to cultivate the virtues which animate and improve it. - -How many people are like whitened sepulchres, and careful only about -appearances! yet if we are too anxious to gain the approbation of the -world, we must often forfeit our own. - -How bewitching is that humble softness of manners which humility gives -birth to, and how faint are the imitations of affectation! That -gentleness of behaviour, which makes us courteous to all, and that -benevolence, which makes us loth to offend any, and studious to please -every creature, is sometimes copied by the polite; but how aukward is -the copy! The warmest professions of regard are prostituted on all -occasions. No distinctions are made, and the esteem which is only due to -merit, appears to be lavished on all—Nay, affection is affected; at -least, the language is borrowed, when there is no glow of it in the -heart. Civility is due to all, but regard or admiration should never be -expressed when it is not felt. - -As humility gives the most pleasing cast to the countenance, so from -sincerity arises that artlessness of manners which is so engaging. She -who suffers herself to be seen as she really is, can never be thought -affected. She is not solicitous to act a part; her endeavour is not to -hide; but correct her failings, and her face has of course that beauty, -which an attention to the mind only gives. I never knew a person really -ugly, who was not foolish or vicious; and I have seen the most beautiful -features deformed by passion and vice. It is true, regular features -strike at first; but it is a well ordered mind which occasions those -turns of expression in the countenance, which make a lasting impression. - -Feeling is ridiculous when affected; and even when felt, ought not to be -displayed. It will appear if genuine; but when pushed forward to notice, -it is obvious vanity has rivalled sorrow, and that the prettiness of the -thing is thought of. Let the manners arise from the mind, and let there -be no disguise for the genuine emotions of the heart. - -Things merely ornamental are soon disregarded, and disregard can -scarcely be borne when there is no internal support. - -To have in this uncertain world some stay, which cannot be undermined, -is of the utmost consequence; and this stay it is, which gives that -dignity to the manners, which shews that a person does not depend on -mere human applause for comfort and satisfaction. - - - - - DRESS. - - -Many able pens have dwelt on the peculiar foibles of our sex. We have -been equally desired to avoid the two extremes in dress, and the -necessity of cleanliness has been insisted on, “As from the body’s -purity the mind receives a sympathetic aid.” - -By far too much of a girl’s time is taken up in dress. This is an -exterior accomplishment; but I chose to consider it by itself. The body -hides the mind, and it is, in its turn, obscured by the drapery. I hate -to see the frame of a picture so glaring, as to catch the eye and divide -the attention. Dress ought to adorn the person, and not rival it. It may -be simple, elegant, and becoming, without being expensive; and -ridiculous fashions disregarded, while singularity is avoided. The -beauty of dress (I shall raise astonishment by saying so) is its not -being conspicuous one way or the other; when it neither distorts, or -hides the human form by unnatural protuberances. If ornaments are much -studied, a consciousness of being well dressed will appear in the -face—and surely this mean pride does not give much sublimity to it. - -“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” And how much -conversation does dress furnish, which surely cannot be very improving -or entertaining. - -It gives rise to envy, and contests for trifling superiority, which do -not render a woman very respectable to the other sex. - -Arts are used to obtain money; and much is squandered away, which if -saved for charitable purposes, might alleviate the distress of many poor -families, and soften the heart of the girl who entered into such scenes -of woe. - -In the article of dress may be included the whole tribe of -beauty-washes, cosmetics, Olympian dew, oriental herbs, liquid bloom, -and the paint which enlivened Ninon’s face, and bid defiance to time. -These numerous and essential articles are advertised in so ridiculous a -style, that the rapid sale of them is a very severe reflection on the -understanding of those females who encourage it. The dew and herbs, I -imagine, are very harmless, but I do not know whether the same may be -said of the paint. White is certainly very prejudicial to the health, -and never can be made to resemble nature. The red, too, takes off from -the expression of the countenance, and the beautiful glow which modesty, -affection, or any other emotion of the mind, gives, can never be seen. -It is not “a mind-illumined face.” “The body does not charm, because the -mind is seen,” but just the contrary; and if caught by it a man marries -a woman thus disguised, he may chance not to be satisfied with her real -person. A made-up face may strike visitors, but will certainly disgust -domestic friends. And one obvious inference is drawn, truth is not -expected to govern the inhabitant of so artificial a form. The false -life with which rouge animates the eyes, is not of the most delicate -kind; nor does a woman’s dressing herself in a way to attract -languishing glances, give us the most advantageous opinion of the purity -of her mind. - -I forgot to mention powder among the deceptions. It is a pity that it -should be so generally worn. The most beautiful ornament of the features -is disguised, and the shade it would give to the countenance entirely -lost. The color of every person’s hair generally suits the complexion, -and is calculated to set it off. What absurdity then do they run into, -who use red, blue, and yellow powder!—And what a false taste does it -exhibit! - -The quantity of pomatum is often disgusting. We laugh at the Hottentots, -and in some things adopt their customs. - -Simplicity of Dress, and unaffected manners, should go together. They -demand respect, and will be admired by people of taste, even when love -is out of the question. - - - - - THE FINE ARTS. - - -Music and painting, and many other ingenious arts, are now brought to -great perfection, and afford the most rational and delicate pleasure. - -It is easy to find out if a young person has a taste for them. If they -have, do not suffer it to lie dormant. Heaven kindly bestowed it, and a -great blessing it is; but, like all other blessings, may be perverted: -yet the intrinsic value is not lessened by the perversion. Should nature -have been a niggard to them in this respect, persuade them to be silent, -and not feign raptures they do not feel; for nothing can be more -ridiculous. - -In music I prefer expression to execution. The simple melody of some -artless airs has often soothed my mind, when it has been harrassed by -care; and I have been raised from the very depths of sorrow, by the -sublime harmony of some of Handel’s compositions. I have been lifted -above this little scene of grief and care, and mused on Him, from whom -all bounty flows. - -A person must have sense, taste, and sensibility, to render their music -interesting. The nimble dance of the fingers may raise wonder, but not -delight. - -As to drawing, those cannot be really charmed by it, who do not observe -the beauties of nature, and even admire them. - -If a person is fond of tracing the effects of the passions, and marking -the appearances they give to the countenance, they will be glad to see -characters displayed on canvass, and enter into the spirit of them; but -if by them the book of nature has not been read, their admiration is -childish. - -Works of fancy are very amusing, if a girl has a lively fancy; but if -she makes others do the greatest part of them, and only wishes for the -credit of doing them, do not encourage her. - -Writing may be termed a fine art; and, I am sure, it is a very useful -one. The style in particular deserves attention. Young people are very -apt to substitute words for sentiments, and clothe mean thoughts in -pompous diction. Industry and time are necessary to cure this, and will -often do it. Children should be led into correspondences, and methods -adopted to make them write down their sentiments, and they should be -prevailed on to relate the stories they have read in their own words. -Writing well is of great consequence in life as to our temporal -interest, and of still more to the mind; as it teaches a person to -arrange their thoughts, and digest them. Besides, it forms the only true -basis of rational and elegant conversation. - -Reading, and such arts as have been already mentioned, would fill up the -time, and prevent a young person’s being lost in dissipation, which -enervates the mind, and often leads to improper connections. When habits -are fixed, and a character in some measure formed, the entering into the -busy world, so far from being dangerous, is useful. Knowledge will -imperceptibly be acquired, and the taste improved, if admiration is not -more sought for than improvement. For those seldom make observation who -are full of themselves. - - - - - READING. - - -It is an old, but a very true observation, that the human mind must ever -be employed. A relish for reading, or any of the fine arts, should be -cultivated very early in life; and those who reflect can tell, of what -importance it is for the mind to have some resource in itself, and not -to be entirely dependant on the senses for employment and amusement. If -it unfortunately is so, it must submit to meanness, and often to vice, -in order to gratify them. The wisest and best are too much under their -influence; and the endeavouring to conquer them, when reason and virtue -will not give their sanction, constitutes great part of the warfare of -life. What support, then, have they who are all senses, and who are full -of schemes, which terminate in temporal objects? - -Reading is the most rational employment, if people seek food for the -understanding, and do not read merely to remember words; or with a view -to quote celebrated authors, and retail sentiments they do not -understand or feel. Judicious books enlarge the mind and improve the -heart, though some, by them, “are made coxcombs whom nature meant for -fools.” - -Those productions which give a wrong account of the human passions, and -the various accidents of life, ought not to be read before the judgment -is formed, or at least exercised. Such accounts are one great cause of -the affectation of young women. Sensibility is described and praised, -and the effects of it represented in a way so different from nature, -that those who imitate it must make themselves very ridiculous. A false -taste is acquired, and sensible books appear dull and insipid after -those superficial performances, which obtain their full end if they can -keep the mind in a continual ferment. Gallantry is made the only -interesting subject with the novelist; reading, therefore, will often -co-operate to make his fair admirers insignificant. - -I do not mean to recommend books of an abstracted or grave cast. There -are in our language many, in which instruction and amusement are -blended; the Adventurer is of this kind. I mention this book on account -of its beautiful allegories and affecting tales, and similar ones may -easily be selected. Reason strikes most forcibly when illustrated by the -brilliancy of fancy. The sentiments which are scattered may be observed, -and when they are relished, and the mind set to work, it may be allowed -to chuse books for itself, for every thing will then instruct. - -I would have every one try to form an opinion of an author themselves, -though modesty may restrain them from mentioning it. Many are so anxious -to have the reputation of taste, that they only praise the authors whose -merit is indisputable. I am sick of hearing of the sublimity of Milton, -the elegance and harmony of Pope, and the original, untaught genius of -Shakespear. These cursory remarks are made by some who know nothing of -nature, and could not enter into the spirit of those authors, or -understand them. - -A florid style mostly passes with the ignorant for fine writing; many -sentences are admired that have no meaning in them, though they contain -“words of thundering sound,” and others that have nothing to recommend -them but sweet and musical terminations. - -Books of theology are not calculated for young persons; religion is best -taught by example. The Bible should be read with particular respect, and -they should not be taught reading by so sacred a book; lest they might -consider that as a task, which ought to be a source of the most exalted -satisfaction. - -It may be observed, that I recommend the mind’s being put into a proper -train, and then left to itself. Fixed rules cannot be given, it must -depend on the nature and strength of the understanding; and those who -observe it can best tell what kind of cultivation will improve it. The -mind is not, cannot be created by the teacher, though it may be -cultivated, and its real powers found out. - -The active spirits of youth may make time glide away without -intellectual enjoyments; but when the novelty of the scene is worn off, -the want of them will be felt, and nothing else can fill up the void. -The mind is confined to the body, and must sink into sensuality; for it -has nothing to do but to provide for it, “how it shall eat and drink, -and wherewithal it shall be clothed.” - -All kinds of refinement have been found fault with for increasing our -cares and sorrows; yet surely the contrary effect also arises from them. -Taste and thought open many sources of pleasure, which do not depend on -fortune. - -No employment of the mind is a sufficient excuse for neglecting domestic -duties, and I cannot conceive that they are incompatible. A woman may -fit herself to be the companion and friend of a man of sense, and yet -know how to take care of his family. - - - - - BOARDING-SCHOOLS. - - -If a mother has leisure and good sense, and more than one daughter, I -think she could best educate them herself; but as many family reasons -render it necessary sometimes to send them from home, boarding-schools -are fixed on. I must own it is my opinion, that the manners are too much -attended to in all schools; and in the nature of things it cannot be -otherwise, as the reputation of the house depends upon it, and most -people can judge of them. The temper is neglected, the same lessons are -taught to all, and some get a smattering of things they have not -capacity ever to understand; few things are learnt thoroughly, but many -follies contracted, and an immoderate fondness for dress among the rest. - -To prepare a woman to fulfil the important duties of a wife and mother, -are certainly the objects that should be in view during the early period -of life; yet accomplishments are most thought of, and they, and -all-powerful beauty, generally gain the heart; and as the keeping of it -is not considered of until it is lost, they are deemed of the most -consequence. A sensible governess cannot attend to the minds of the -number she is obliged to have. She may have been many years struggling -to get established, and when fortune smiles, does not chuse to lose the -opportunity of providing for old age; therefore continues to enlarge her -school, with a view to accumulate a competency for that purpose. -Domestic concerns cannot possibly be made a part of their employment, or -proper conversations often entered on. Improper books will by stealth be -introduced, and the bad example of one or two vicious children, in the -play-hours, infect a number. Their gratitude and tenderness are not -called forth in the way they might be by maternal affection. Many -miseries does a girl of a mild disposition suffer, which a tender parent -could guard her from. I shall not contest about the graces, but the -virtues are best learnt at home, if a mother will give up her time and -thoughts to the task; but if she cannot, they should be sent to school; -for people who do not manage their children well, and have not large -fortunes, must leave them often with servants, where they are in danger -of still greater corruptions. - - - - - THE TEMPER. - - -The forming of the temper ought to be the continual thought, and the -first task of a parent or teacher. For to speak moderately, half the -miseries of life arise from peevishness, or a tyrannical domineering -temper. The tender, who are so by nature, or those whom religion has -moulded with so heavenly a disposition, give way for the sake of -peace—yet still this giving way undermines their domestic comfort, and -stops the current of affection; they labor for patience, and labor is -ever painful. - -The governing of our temper is truly the business of our whole lives; -but surely it would very much assist us if we were early put into the -right road. As it is, when reason gains some strength, she has mountains -of rubbish to remove, or perhaps exerts all her powers to justify the -errors of folly and passion, rather than root them out. - -A constant attention to the management of the temper produces gentleness -and humility, and is practised on all occasions, as it is not done “to -be seen of men.” This meek spirit arises from good sense and resolution, -and should not be confounded with indolence and timidity; weaknesses of -mind, which often pass for good nature. She who submits, without -conviction, to a parent or husband, will as unreasonably tyrannise over -her servants; for slavish fear and tyranny go together. Resentment, -indeed, may and will be felt occasionally by the best of human beings; -yet humility will soon conquer it, and convert scorn and contempt into -pity, and drive out that hasty pride which is always guarding Self from -insult; which takes fire on the most trivial occasions, and which will -not admit of a superior, or even an equal. With such a temper is often -joined that bashful aukwardness which arises from ignorance, and is -frequently termed diffidence; but which does not, in my opinion, deserve -such a distinction. True humility is not innate, but like every other -good quality must be cultivated. Reflections on miscarriages of conduct, -and mistakes in opinion, sink it deep into the mind; especially if those -miscarriages and mistakes have been a cause of pain—when we smart for -our folly we remember it. - -Few people look into their own hearts, or think of their tempers, though -they severely censure others, on whose side they say the fault always -lies. Now I am apt to believe, that there is not a temper in the world -which does not need correction, and of course attention. Those who are -termed good-humored, are frequently giddy, indolent, and insensible; yet -because the society they mix with appear seldom displeased with a person -who does not contest, and will laugh off an affront, they imagine -themselves pleasing, when they are only not disagreeable. Warm tempers -are too easily irritated. The one requires a spur, the other a rein. -Health of mind, as well as body, must in general be obtained by patient -submission to self-denial, and disagreeable operations. - -If the presence of the Deity be inculcated and dwelt on till an habitual -reverence is established in the mind, it will check the sallies of anger -and sneers of peevishness, which corrode our peace, and render us -wretched, without any claim to pity. - -The wisdom of the Almighty has so ordered things, that one cause -produces many effects. While we are looking into another’s mind, and -forming their temper, we are insensibly correcting our own; and every -act of benevolence which we exert to our fellow-creatures, does -ourselves the most essential services. Active virtue fits us for the -society of more exalted beings. Our philanthrophy is a proof, we are -told, that we are capable of loving our Creator. Indeed this divine -love, or charity, appears to me the principal trait that remains of the -illustrious image of the Deity, which was originally stampt on the soul, -and which is to be renewed. Exalted views will raise the mind above -trifling cares, and the many little weaknesses, which make us a torment -to ourselves and others. Our temper will gradually improve, and vanity, -which “the creature is made subject to,” has not an entire dominion. - -But I have digressed. A judicious parent can only manage a child in this -important article; and example will best enforce precept. - -Be careful, however, not to make hypocrites; smothered flames will blaze -out with more violence for having been kept down. Expect not to do all -yourself; experience must enable the child to assist you; you can only -lay the foundation, or prevent bad propensities from settling into -habits. - - - - -UNFORTUNATE SITUATION OF FEMALES, FASHIONABLY EDUCATED, AND LEFT WITHOUT - A FORTUNE. - - -I have hitherto only spoken of those females, who will have a provision -made for them by their parents. But many who have been well, or at least -fashionably educated, are left without a fortune, and if they are not -entirely devoid of delicacy, they must frequently remain single. - -Few are the modes of earning a subsistence, and those very humiliating. -Perhaps to be an humble companion to some rich old cousin, or what is -still worse, to live with strangers, who are so intolerably tyrannical, -that none of their own relations can bear to live with them, though they -should even expect a fortune in reversion. It is impossible to enumerate -the many hours of anguish such a person must spend. Above the servants, -yet considered by them as a spy, and ever reminded of her inferiority -when in conversation with the superiors. If she cannot condescend to -mean flattery, she has not a chance of being a favorite; and should any -of the visitors take notice of her, and she for a moment forget her -subordinate state, she is sure to be reminded of it. - -Painfully sensible of unkindness, she is alive to every thing, and many -sarcasms reach her, which were perhaps directed another way. She is -alone, shut out from equality and confidence, and the concealed anxiety -impairs her constitution; for she must wear a cheerful face, or be -dismissed. The being dependant on the caprice of a fellow-creature, -though certainly very necessary in this state of discipline, is yet a -very bitter corrective, which we would fain shrink from. - -A teacher at a school is only a kind of upper servant, who has more work -than the menial ones. - -A governess to young ladies is equally disagreeable. It is ten to one if -they meet with a reasonable mother; and if she is not so, she will be -continually finding fault to prove she is not ignorant, and be -displeased if her pupils do not improve, but angry if the proper methods -are taken to make them do so. The children treat them with disrespect, -and often with insolence. In the mean time life glides away, and the -spirits with it; “and when youth and genial years are flown,” they have -nothing to subsist on; or, perhaps, on some extraordinary occasion, some -small allowance may be made for them, which is thought a great charity. - -The few trades which are left, are now gradually falling into the hands -of the men, and certainly they are not very respectable. - -It is hard for a person who has a relish for polished society, to herd -with the vulgar, or to condescend to mix with her former equals when she -is considered in a different light. What unwelcome heart-breaking -knowledge is then poured in on her! I mean a view of the selfishness and -depravity of the world; for every other acquirement is a source of -pleasure, though they may occasion temporary inconveniences. How cutting -is the contempt she meets with!—A young mind looks round for love and -friendship; but love and friendship fly from poverty: expect them not if -you are poor! The mind must then sink into meanness, and accommodate -itself to its new state, or dare to be unhappy. Yet I think no -reflecting person would give up the experience and improvement they have -gained, to have avoided the misfortunes; on the contrary, they are -thankfully ranked amongst the choicest blessings of life, when we are -not under their immediate pressure. - -How earnestly does a mind full of sensibility look for disinterested -friendship, and long to meet with good unalloyed. When fortune smiles -they hug the dear delusion; but dream not that it is one. The painted -cloud disappears suddenly, the scene is changed, and what an aching void -is left in the heart! a void which only religion can fill up—and how few -seek this internal comfort! - -A woman, who has beauty without sentiment, is in great danger of being -seduced; and if she has any, cannot guard herself from painful -mortifications. It is very disagreeable to keep up a continual reserve -with men she has been formerly familiar with; yet if she places -confidence, it is ten to one but she is deceived. Few men seriously -think of marrying an inferior; and if they have honor enough not to take -advantage of the artless tenderness of a woman who loves, and thinks not -of the difference of rank, they do not undeceive her until she has -anticipated happiness, which, contrasted with her dependant situation, -appears delightful. The disappointment is severe; and the heart receives -a wound which does not easily admit of a compleat cure, as the good that -is missed is not valued according to its real worth: for fancy drew the -picture, and grief delights to create food to feed on. - -If what I have written should be read by parents, who are now going on -in thoughtless extravagance, and anxious only that their daughters may -be _genteelly educated_, let them consider to what sorrows they expose -them; for I have not over-coloured the picture. - -Though I warn parents to guard against leaving their daughters to -encounter so much misery; yet if a young woman falls into it, she ought -not to be discontented. Good must ultimately arise from every thing, to -those who look beyond this infancy of their being; and here the comfort -of a good conscience is our only stable support. The main business of -our lives is to learn to be virtuous; and He who is training us up for -immortal bliss, knows best what trials will contribute to make us so; -and our resignation and improvement will render us respectable to -ourselves, and to that Being, whose approbation is of more value than -life itself. It is true, tribulation produces anguish, and we would fain -avoid the bitter cup, though convinced its effects would be the most -salutary. The Almighty is then the kind parent, who chastens and -educates, and indulges us not when it would tend to our hurt. He is -compassion itself, and never wounds but to heal, when the ends of -correction are answered. - - - - - LOVE. - - -I think there is not a subject that admits so little of reasoning on as -love; nor can rules be laid down that will not appear to lean too much -one way or the other. Circumstances must, in a great measure, govern the -conduct in this particular; yet who can be a judge in their own case? -Perhaps, before they begin to consider the matter, they see through the -medium of passion, and its suggestions are often mistaken for those of -reason. We can no other way account for the absurd matches we every day -have an opportunity of observing; for in this respect, even the most -sensible men and women err. A variety of causes will occasion an -attachment; an endeavour to supplant another, or being by some accident -confined to the society of one person. Many have found themselves -entangled in an affair of honor, who only meant to fill up the heavy -hours in an amusing way, or raise jealousy in some other bosom. - -It is a difficult task to write on a subject when our own passions are -likely to blind us. Hurried away by our feelings, we are apt to set -those things down as general maxims, which only our partial experience -gives rise to. Though it is not easy to say how a person should act -under the immediate influence of passion, yet they certainly have no -excuse who are actuated only by vanity, and deceive by an equivocal -behaviour in order to gratify it. There are quite as many male coquets -as female, and they are far more pernicious pests to society, as their -sphere of action is larger, and they are less exposed to the censure of -the world. A smothered sigh, downcast look, and the many other little -arts which are played off, may give extreme pain to a sincere, artless -woman, though she cannot resent, or complain of, the injury. This kind -of trifling, I think, much more inexcusable than inconstancy; and why it -is so, appears so obvious, I need not point it out. - -People of sense and reflection are most apt to have violent and constant -passions, and to be preyed on by them. Neither can they, for the sake of -present pleasure, bear to act in such a manner, as that the retrospect -should fill them with confusion and regret. Perhaps a delicate mind is -not susceptible of a greater degree of misery, putting guilt out of the -question, than what must arise from the consciousness of loving a person -whom their reason does not approve. This, I am persuaded, has often been -the case; and the passion must either be rooted out, or the continual -allowances and excuses that are made will hurt the mind, and lessen the -respect for virtue. Love, unsupported by esteem, must soon expire, or -lead to depravity; as, on the contrary, when a worthy person is the -object, it is the greatest incentive to improvement, and has the best -effect on the manners and temper. We should always try to fix in our -minds the rational grounds we have for loving a person, that we may be -able to recollect them when we feel disgust or resentment; we should -then habitually practise forbearance, and the many petty disputes which -interrupt domestic peace would be avoided. A woman cannot reasonably be -unhappy, if she is attached to a man of sense and goodness, though he -may not be all she could wish. - -I am very far from thinking love irresistible, and not to be conquered. -“If weak women go astray,” it is they, and not the stars, that are to be -blamed. A resolute endeavour will almost always overcome difficulties. I -knew a woman very early in life warmly attached to an agreeable man, yet -she saw his faults; his principles were unfixed, and his prodigal turn -would have obliged her to have restrained every benevolent emotion of -her heart. She exerted her influence to improve him, but in vain did she -for years try to do it. Convinced of the impossibility, she determined -not to marry him, though she was forced to encounter poverty and its -attendants. - -It is too universal a maxim with novelists, that love is felt but once; -though it appears to me, that the heart which is capable of receiving an -impression at all, and can distinguish, will turn to a new object when -the first is found unworthy. I am convinced it is practicable, when a -respect for goodness has the first place in the mind, and notions of -perfection are not affixed to constancy. Many ladies are delicately -miserable, and imagine that they are lamenting the loss of a lover, when -they are full of self-applause, and reflections on their own superior -refinement. Painful feelings are prolonged beyond their natural course, -to gratify our desire of appearing heroines, and we deceive ourselves as -well as others. When any sudden stroke of fate deprives us of those we -love, we may not readily get the better of the blow; but when we find we -have been led astray by our passions, and that it was our own -imaginations which gave the high colouring to the picture, we may be -certain time will drive it out of our minds. For we cannot often think -of our folly without being displeased with ourselves, and such -reflections are quickly banished. Habit and duty will co-operate, and -religion may overcome what reason has in vain combated with; but -refinement and romance are often confounded, and sensibility, which -occasions this kind of inconstancy, is supposed to have the contrary -effect. - -Nothing can more tend to destroy peace of mind, than platonic -attachments. They are begun in false refinement, and frequently end in -sorrow, if not in guilt. The two extremes often meet, and virtue carried -to excess will sometimes lead to the opposite vice. Not that I mean to -insinuate that there is no such thing as friendship between persons of -different sexes; I am convinced of the contrary, I only mean to observe, -that if a woman’s heart is disengaged, she should not give way to a -pleasing delusion, and imagine she will be satisfied with the friendship -of a man she admires, and prefers to the rest of the world. The heart is -very treacherous, and if we do not guard its first emotions, we shall -not afterwards be able to prevent its sighing for impossibilities. If -there are any insuperable bars to an union in the common way, try to -dismiss the dangerous tenderness, or it will undermine your comfort, and -betray you into many errors. To attempt to raise ourselves above human -beings is ridiculous; we cannot extirpate our passions, nor is it -necessary that we should, though it may be wise sometimes not to stray -too near a precipice, lest we fall over before we are aware. We cannot -avoid much vexation and sorrow, if we are ever so prudent; it is then -the part of wisdom to enjoy those gleams of sunshine which do not -endanger our innocence, or lead to repentance. Love gilds all the -prospects of life, and though it cannot always exclude apathy, it makes -many cares appear trifling. Dean Swift hated the world, and only loved -particular persons; yet pride rivalled them. A foolish wish of rising -superior to the common wants and desires of the human species made him -singular, but not respectable. He sacrificed an amiable woman to his -caprice, and made those shun his company who would have been entertained -and improved by his conversation, had he loved any one as well as -himself. Universal benevolence is the first duty, and we should be -careful not to let any passion so engross our thoughts, as to prevent -our practising it. After all the dreams of rapture, earthly pleasures -will not fill the mind, or support it when they have not the sanction of -reason, or are too much depended on. The tumult of passion will subside, -and even the pangs of disappointment cease to be felt. But for the -wicked there is a worm that never dies—a guilty conscience. While that -calm satisfaction which resignation produces, which cannot be described, -but may be attained, in some degree, by those who try to keep in the -strait, though thorny path which leads to bliss, shall sanctify the -sorrows, and dignify the character of virtue. - - - - - MATRIMONY. - - -Early marriages are, in my opinion, a stop to improvement. If we were -born only “to draw nutrition, propagate and rot,” the sooner the end of -creation was answered the better: but as women are here allowed to have -souls, the soul ought to be attended to. In youth a woman endeavours to -please the other sex, in order, generally speaking, to get married, and -this endeavour calls forth all her powers. If she has had a tolerable -education, the foundation only is laid, for the mind does not soon -arrive at maturity, and should not be engrossed by domestic cares before -any habits are fixed. The passions also have too much influence over the -judgment to suffer it to direct her in this most important affair; and -many women, I am persuaded, marry a man before they are twenty, whom -they would have rejected some years after. Very frequently, when the -education has been neglected, the mind improves itself, if it has -leisure for reflection, and experience to reflect on; but how can this -happen when they are forced to act before they have had time to think, -or find that they are unhappily married? Nay, should they be so -fortunate as to get a good husband, they will not set a proper value on -him; he will be found much inferior to the lovers described in novels, -and their want of knowledge makes them frequently disgusted with the -man, when the fault is in human nature. - -When a woman’s mind has gained some strength, she will in all -probability pay more attention to her actions than a girl can be -expected to do; and if she thinks seriously, she will chuse for a -companion a man of principle; and this perhaps young people do not -sufficiently attend to, or see the necessity of doing. A woman of -feeling must be very much hurt if she is obliged to keep her children -out of their father’s company, that their morals may not be injured by -his conversation; and besides, the whole arduous task of education -devolves on her, and in such a case it is not very practicable. -Attention to the education of children must be irksome, when life -appears to have so many charms, and its pleasures are not found -fallacious. Many are but just returned from a boarding-school, when they -are placed at the head of a family, and how fit they are to manage it, I -leave the judicious to judge. Can they improve a child’s understanding, -when they are scarcely out of the state of childhood themselves? - -Dignity of manners, too, and proper reserve are often wanting. The -constant attendant on too much familiarity is contempt. Women are often -before marriage prudish, and afterwards they think they may innocently -give way to fondness, and overwhelm the poor man with it. They think -they have a legal right to his affections, and grow remiss in their -endeavours to please. There are a thousand nameless decencies which good -sense gives rise to, and artless proofs of regard which flow from the -heart, and will reach it, if it is not depraved. It has ever occurred to -me, that it was sufficient for a woman to receive caresses, and not -bestow them. She ought to distinguish between fondness and tenderness. -The latter is the sweetest cordial of life; but, like all other -cordials, should be reserved for particular occasions; to exhilarate the -spirits, when depressed by sickness, or lost in sorrow. Sensibility will -best instruct. Some delicacies can never be pointed out or described, -though they sink deep into the heart, and render the hours of distress -supportable. - -A woman should have so proper a pride, as not easily to forget a -deliberate affront; though she must not too hastily resent any little -coolness. We cannot always feel alike, and all are subject to changes of -temper without an adequate cause. - -Reason must often be called in to fill up the vacuums of life; but too -many of our sex suffer theirs to lie dormant. A little ridicule and -smart turn of expression, often confutes without convincing; and tricks -are played off to raise tenderness, even while they are forfeiting -esteem. - -Women are said to be the weaker vessel, and many are the miseries which -this weakness brings on them. Men have in some respects very much the -advantage. If they have a tolerable understanding, it has a chance to be -cultivated. They are forced to see human nature as it is, and are not -left to dwell on the pictures of their own imaginations. Nothing, I am -sure, calls forth the faculties so much as the being obliged to struggle -with the world; and this is not a woman’s province in a married state. -Her sphere of action is not large, and if she is not taught to look into -her own heart, how trivial are her occupations and pursuits! What little -arts engross and narrow her mind! “Cunning fills up the mighty void of -sense,” and cares, which do not improve the heart or understanding, take -up her attention. Of course, she falls a prey to childish anger, and -silly capricious humors, which render her rather insignificant than -vicious. - -In a comfortable situation, a cultivated mind is necessary to render a -woman contented; and in a miserable one, it is her only consolation. A -sensible, delicate woman, who by some strange accident, or mistake, is -joined to a fool or a brute, must be wretched beyond all names of -wretchedness, if her views are confined to the present scene. Of what -importance, then, is intellectual improvement, when our comfort here, -and happiness hereafter, depends upon it. - -Principles of religion should be fixed, and the mind not left to -fluctuate in the time of distress, when it can receive succour from no -other quarter. The conviction that every thing is working for our good -will scarcely produce resignation, when we are deprived of our dearest -hopes. How they can be satisfied, who have not this conviction, I cannot -conceive; I rather think they will turn to some worldly support, and -fall into folly, if not vice. For a little refinement only leads a woman -into the wilds of romance, if she is not religious; nay, more, there is -no true sentiment without it, nor perhaps any other effectual check to -the passions. - - - - - DESULTORY THOUGHTS. - - -As every kind of domestic concern and family business is properly a -woman’s province, to enable her to discharge her duty she should study -the different branches of it. Nothing is more useful in a family than a -little knowledge of physic, sufficient to make the mistress of it a -judicious nurse. Many a person, who has had a sensible physician to -attend them, have been lost for want of the other; for tenderness, -without judgment, sometimes does more harm than good. - -The ignorant imagine there is something very mysterious in the practice -of physic. They expect a medicine to work like a charm, and know nothing -of the progress and crisis of disorders. The keeping of the patient low -appears cruel, all kind of regimen is disregarded, and though the fever -rages, they cannot be persuaded not to give them inflammatory food. “How -(say they) can a person get well without nourishment?” - -The mind, too, should be soothed at the same time; and indeed, whenever -it sinks, soothing is, at first, better than reasoning. The slackened -nerves are not to be braced by words. When a mind is worried by care, or -oppressed by sorrow, it cannot in a moment grow tranquil, and attend to -the voice of reason. - -St. Paul says, “No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous; but -grievous: nevertheless, afterwards it yieldeth the peaceable fruits of -righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” It is plain, from -these words of the Apostle, and from many other parts of Scripture, that -afflictions are necessary to teach us true wisdom, and that in spite of -this conviction, men would fain avoid the bitter draught, though certain -that the drinking of it would be conducive to the purifying of their -hearts. He who made us must know what will tend to our ultimate good; -yet still all this is grievous, and the heart will throb with anguish -when deprived of what it loves, and the tongue can scarcely faulter out -an acquiescence to the Divine Will, when it is so contrary to our own. -Due allowance ought then to be made for human infirmities, and the -unhappy should be considered as objects of compassion, rather than -blame. But in a very different stile does consolatory advice generally -run; for instead of pouring oil or wine into the wound, it tends to -convince the unfortunate persons that they are weak as well as unhappy. -I am apt to imagine, that sorrow and resignation are not incompatible; -and that though religion cannot make some disappointments pleasant, it -prevents our repining, even while we smart under them. Did our feelings -and reason always coincide, our passage through this world could not -justly be termed a warfare, and faith would no longer be a virtue. It is -our preferring the things that are not seen, to those which are, that -proves us to be the heirs of promise. - -On the sacred word of the Most High, we rely with firm assurance, that -the sufferings of the present life will work out a far more exceeding -and eternal weight of glory; yet still they are allowed to be -afflictions, which, though temporary, must still be grievous. - -The difference between those who sorrow without hope, and those who look -up to Heaven, is not that the one feel more than the other, for they may -be both equally depressed; but the latter think of the peaceable fruits -which are to result from the discipline, and therefore patiently submit. - -I have almost run into a sermon,—and I shall not make an apology for it. - -Whatever contributes to make us compassionate and resolute, is of the -utmost consequence; both these qualities are necessary, if we are -confined to a sick chamber. Various are the misfortunes of life, and it -may be the lot of most of us to see death in all its terrors, when it -attacks a friend; yet even then we must exert our friendship, and try to -chear the departing spirit. - - - - - THE BENEFITS WHICH ARISE FROM DISAPPOINTMENTS. - - -Most women, and men too, have no character at all. Just opinions and -virtuous passions appear by starts, and while we are giving way to the -love and admiration which those qualities raise, they are quite -different creatures. It is reflection which forms habits, and fixes -principles indelibly on the heart; without it, the mind is like a wreck -drifted about by every squall. The passion that we think most of will -soon rival all the rest; it is then in our power, this way, to -strengthen our good dispositions, and in some measure to establish a -character, which will not depend on every accidental impulse. To be -convinced of truths, and yet not to feel or act up to them, is a common -thing. Present pleasure drives all before it, and adversity is -mercifully sent to force us to think. - -In the school of adversity we learn knowledge as well as virtue; yet we -lament our hard fate, dwell on our disappointments, and never consider -that our own wayward minds, and inconsistent hearts, require these -needful correctives. Medicines are not sent to persons in health. - -It is a well-known remark, that our very wishes give us not our wish. I -have often thought it might be set down as a maxim, that the greatest -disappointment we can meet with is the gratification of our fondest -wishes. But truth is sometimes not pleasant; we turn from it, and doat -on an illusion; and if we were not in a probationary state, we should do -well to thicken the cloud, rather than dispel it. - -There are some who delight in observing moral beauty, and their souls -sicken when forced to view crimes and follies which could never hurt -them. How numerous are the sorrows which reach such bosoms! They may -truly be called _human creatures_; on every side they touch their -fellow-mortals, and vibrate to the touch. Common humanity points out the -important duties of our station; but sensibility (a kind of instinct, -strengthened by reflection) can only teach the numberless minute things -which give pain or pleasure. - -A benevolent mind often suffers more than the object it commiserates, -and will bear an inconvenience itself to shelter another from it. It -makes allowance for failings though it longs to meet perfection, which -it seems formed to adore. The Author of all good continually calls -himself, a God long-suffering; and those most resemble him who practice -forbearance. Love and compassion are the most delightful feelings of the -soul, and to exert them to all that breathe is the wish of the -benevolent heart. To struggle with ingratitude and selfishness is -grating beyond expression: and the sense we have of our weakness, though -useful, is not pleasant. Thus it is with us, when we look for happiness, -we meet with vexations: and if, now and then, we give way to tenderness, -or any of the amiable passions, and taste pleasure, the mind, strained -beyond its usual tone, falls into apathy. And yet we were made to be -happy! But our passions will not contribute much to our bliss, till they -are under the dominion of reason, and till that reason is enlightened -and improved. Then sighing will cease, and all tears will be wiped away -by that Being, in whose presence there is fulness of joy. - -A person of tenderness must ever have particular attachments, and ever -be disappointed; yet still they must be attached, in spite of human -frailty; for if the mind is not kept in motion by either hope or fear, -it sinks into the dreadful state before-mentioned. - -I have very often heard it made a subject of ridicule, that when a -person is disappointed in this world, they turn to the next. Nothing can -be more natural than the transition; and it seems to me the scheme of -Providence, that our finding things unsatisfactory here, should force us -to think of the better country to which we are going. - - - - - ON THE TREATMENT OF SERVANTS. - - -The management of servants is a great part of the employment of a -woman’s life; and her own temper depends very much on her behaviour to -them. - -Servants are, in general, ignorant and cunning; we must consider their -characters, if we would treat them properly, and continually practise -forbearance. The same methods we use with children may be adopted with -regard to them. Act uniformly, and never find fault without a just -cause; and when there is, be positive, but not angry. A mind that is not -too much engrossed by trifles, will not be discomposed by every little -domestic disaster; and a thinking person can very readily make allowance -for those faults which arise from want of reflection and education. I -have seen the peace of a whole family disturbed by some trivial, cross -accident, and hours spent in useless upbraidings about some mistake -which would never have been thought of, but for the consequences that -arose from it. An error in judgment or an accident should not be -severely reprehended. It is a proof of wisdom to profit by experience, -and not lament irremediable evils. - -A benevolent person must ever wish to see those around them comfortable, -and try to be the cause of that comfort. The wide difference which -education makes, I should suppose, would prevent familiarity in the way -of equality; yet kindness must be shewn, if we are desirous that our -domestics should be attached to our interest and persons. How pleasing -it is to be attended with a smile of willingness, to be consulted when -they are at a loss, and looked up to as a friend and benefactor when -they are in distress. It is true we may often meet with ingratitude, but -it ought not to discourage us; the refreshing showers of heaven -fertilize the fields of the unworthy, as well as the just. We should -nurse them in illness, and our superior judgment in those matters would -often alleviate their pains. - -Above all, we owe them a good example. The ceremonials of religion, on -their account, should be attended to; as they always reverence them to a -superstitious degree, or else neglect them. We should not shock the -faith of the meanest fellow-creature; nay more, we should comply with -their prejudices; for their religious notions are so over-run with them, -that they are not easily separated; and by trying to pluck up the tares, -we may root up the wheat with them. - -The woman who gives way to caprice and ill-humour in the kitchen, cannot -easily smooth her brow when her husband returns to his fire-side; nay, -he may not only see the wrinkles of anger, but hear the disputes at -second-hand. I heard a Gentleman say, it would break any man’s heart to -hear his wife argue such a case. Men who are employed about things of -consequence, think these affairs more insignificant than they really -are; for the warmth with which we engage in any business increases its -importance, and our not entering into them has the contrary effect. - -The behaviour of girls to servants is generally in extremes; too -familiar or haughty. Indeed the one often produces the other, as a -check, when the freedoms are troublesome. - -We cannot make our servants wise or good, but we may teach them to be -decent and orderly; and order leads to some degree of morality. - - - - - THE OBSERVANCE OF SUNDAY. - - -The institution of keeping the seventh day holy was wisely ordered by -Providence for two purposes. To rest the body, and call off the mind -from the too eager pursuit of the shadows of this life, which, I am -afraid, often obscure the prospect of futurity, and fix our thoughts on -earth. A respect for this ordinance is, I am persuaded, of the utmost -consequence to national religion. The vulgar have such a notion of it, -that with them, going to church, and being religious, are almost -synonymous terms. They are so lost in their senses, that if this day did -not continually remind them, they would soon forget that there was a God -in the world. Some forms are necessary to support vital religion, and -without them it would soon languish, and at last expire. - -It is unfortunate, that this day is either kept with puritanical -exactness, which renders it very irksome, or lost in dissipation and -thoughtlessness. Either way is very prejudicial to the minds of children -and servants, who ought not to be let run wild, not confined too -strictly; and, above all, should not see their parents or masters -indulge themselves in things which are generally thought wrong. I am -fully persuaded, that servants have such a notion of card-playing, that -where-ever it is practised of a Sunday their minds are hurt; and the -barrier between good and evil in some measure broken down. Servants, who -are accustomed to bodily labour, will fall into as laborious pleasures, -if they are not gently restrained, and some substitute found out for -them. - -Such a close attention to a family may appear to many very disagreeable; -but the path of duty will be found pleasant after some time; and the -passions being employed this way, will, by degrees, come under the -subjection of reason. I mean not to be rigid, the obstructions which -arise in the way of our duty, do not strike a speculatist; I know, too, -that in the moment of action, even a well-disposed mind is often carried -away by the present impulse, and that it requires some experience to be -able to distinguish the dictates of reason from those of passion. The -truth is seldom found out until the tumult is over; we then wake as from -a dream, and when we survey what we have done, and feel the folly of it, -we might call on reason and say, why sleepest thou? Yet though people -are led astray by their passions, and even relapse after the most bitter -repentance, they should not despair, but still try to regain the right -road, and cultivate such habits as may assist them. - -I never knew much social virtue to reside in a house where the sabbath -was grossly violated. - - - - - ON THE MISFORTUNE OF FLUCTUATING PRINCIPLES. - - -If we look for any comfort in friendship or society, we must associate -with those who have fixed principles with respect to religion; for -without them, repeated experience convinces me, the most shining -qualities are unstable, and not to be depended on. - -It has often been a matter of surprise to me, that so few people examine -the tenets of the religion they profess, or are christians through -conviction. They have no anchor to rest on, nor any fixed chart to -direct them in the doubtful voyage of life; how then can they hope to -find the “haven of rest?” But they think not of it, and cannot be -expected to forego present advantages. Noble actions must arise from -noble thoughts and views; when they are confined to this world, they -must be groveling. - -Faith, with respect to the promise of eternal happiness, can only enable -us to combat with our passions, with a chance of victory. There are many -who pay no attention to revelation, and more, perhaps, who have not any -fixed belief in it. The sure word of comfort is neglected; and how -people can live without it, I can scarcely conceive. For as the sun -renews the face of nature, and chases away darkness from the world, so -does this, still greater blessing, have the same effect on the mind, and -enlightens and cheers it when every thing else fails. - -A true sense of our infirmities is the way to make us christians in the -most extensive sense of the word. A mind depressed with a weight of -weaknesses can only find comfort in the promises of the Gospel. The -assistance there offered must raise the humble soul; and the account of -the atonement that has been made, gives a rational ground for resting in -hope until the toil of virtue is over, and faith has nothing to be -exercised on. - -It is the fashion now for young men to be deists. And many a one has -improper books sent adrift in a sea of doubts—of which there is no end. -This is not a land of certainty; there is no confining the wandering -reason, and but one clue to prevent its being lost in endless -researches. Reason is indeed the heaven-lighted lamp in man, and may -safely be trusted when not entirely depended on; but when it pretends to -discover what is beyond its ken, it certainly stretches the line too -far, and runs into absurdity. Some speculations are idle and others -hurtful, as they raise pride, and turn the thoughts to subjects that -ought to be left unexplored. With love and awe we should think of the -High and Lofty One, that inhabiteth eternity! and not presume to say how -He must exist who created us. How unfortunate it is, that man must sink -into a brute, and not employ his mind, or else, by thinking, grow so -proud, as often to imagine himself a superior being! It is not the -doubts of profound thinkers that I here allude to, but the crude notions -which young men sport away when together, and sometimes in the company -of young women, to make them wonder at their superior wisdom! There -cannot be any thing more dangerous to a mind, not accustomed to think, -than doubts delivered in a ridiculing way. They never go deep enough to -solve them, of course they stick by them; and though they might not -influence their conduct, if a fear of the world prevents their being -guilty of vices, yet their thoughts are not restrained, and they should -be observed diligently, “For out of them are the issues of life.” A nice -sense of right and wrong ought to be acquired, and then not only great -vices will be avoided, but every little meanness; truth will reign in -the inward parts, and mercy will attend her. - -I have indeed so much compassion for those young females who are -entering into the world without fixed principles, that I would fain -persuade them to examine a little into the matter. For though in the -season of gaiety they may not feel the want of them, in that of distress -where will they fly for succour? Even with this support, life is a labor -of patience—a conflict; and the utmost we can gain is a small portion of -peace, a kind of watchful tranquillity, that is liable to continual -interruptions. - - “Then keep each passion down, however dear; - “Trust me, the tender are the most severe. - “Guard, while ’tis thine, thy philosophic ease, - “And ask no joy but that of virtuous peace; - “That bids defiance to the storms of fate: - “High bliss is only for a higher state.” - THOMSON. - - - - - BENEVOLENCE. - - -This first, and most amiable virtue, is often found in young persons -that afterwards grow selfish; a knowledge of the arts of others, is an -excuse to them for practicing the same; and because they have been -deceived once, or have found objects unworthy of their charity—if any -one appeals to their feelings, the formidable word Imposture instantly -banishes the compassionate emotions, and silences conscience. I do not -mean to confine the exercise of benevolence to alms-giving, though it is -a very material part of it. Faith, hope, and charity ought to attend us -in our passage through this world; but the two first leave us when we -die, while the other is to be the constant inmate of our breast through -all eternity. We ought not to suffer the heavenly spark to be quenched -by selfishness; if we do, how can we expect it to revive, when the soul -is disentangled from the body, and should be prepared for the realms of -love? Forbearance and liberality of sentiment are the virtues of -maturity. Children should be taught every thing in a positive way; and -their own experience can only teach them afterwards to make distinctions -and allowances. It is then the inferior part of benevolence that comes -within their sphere of action, and it should not be suffered to sleep. -Some part of the money that is allowed them for pocket-money, they -should be encouraged to lay out this way, and the short-lived emotions -of pity continually retraced ’till they grow into habits. - -I knew a child that would, when very young, sit down and cry if it met a -poor person, after it had laid out its money in cakes; this occurred -once or twice, and the tears were shed with additional distress every -time; till at last it resisted the temptation, and saved the money. - -I think it a very good method for girls to have a certain allowance for -cloaths. A mother can easily, without seeming to do it, observe how they -spend it, and direct them accordingly. By these means they would learn -the value of money, and be obliged to contrive. This would be a -practical lesson of œconomy superior to all the theories that could be -thought of. The having a fixed stipend, too, would enable them to be -charitable, in the true sense of the word, as they would then give their -own; and by denying themselves little ornaments, and doing their own -work, they might increase the sum appropriated to charitable purposes. - -A lively principle of this kind would also overcome indolence; for I -have known people wasteful and penurious at the same time; but the -wastefulness was to spare themselves trouble, and others only felt the -effects of their penury, to make the balance even. - -Women too often confine their love and charity to their own families. -They fix not in their minds the precedency of moral obligations, or make -their feelings give way to duty. Goodwill to all the human race should -dwell in our bosoms, nor should love to individuals induce us to violate -this first of duties, or make us sacrifice the interest of any -fellow-creature, to promote that of another, whom we happen to be more -partial to. A parent, under distressed circumstances, should be -supported, even though it should prevent our saving a fortune for a -child; nay more, should they be both in distress at the same time, the -prior obligation should be first discharged. - -Under this head may be included the treatment of animals. Over them many -children tyrannize with impunity; and find amusement in tormenting, or -wantonly killing, any insect that comes in their way, though it does -them no injury. I am persuaded, if they were told stories of them, and -led to take an interest in their welfare and occupations, they would be -tender to them; as it is, they think man the only thing of consequence -in the creation. I once prevented a girl’s killing ants, for sport, by -adapting Mr. Addison’s account of them to her understanding. Ever after -she was careful not to tread on them, lest she should distress the whole -community. - -Stories of insects and animals are the first that should rouse the -childish passions, and exercise humanity; and then they will rise to -man, and from him to his Maker. - - - - - CARD-PLAYING. - - -Card-playing is now the constant amusement, I may say employment, of -young and old, in genteel life. After all the fatigue of the toilet, -blooming girls are set down to card-tables, and the most unpleasing -passions called forth. Avarice does not wait for grey hairs and -wrinkles, but marks a countenance where the loves and graces ought to -revel. The hours that should be spent in improving the mind, or in -innocent mirth, are thus thrown away; and if the stake is not -considerable enough to rouse the passions, lost in insipidity, and a -habit acquired which may lead to serious mischief. Not to talk of -gaming, many people play for more than they can well afford to lose, and -this sours their temper. Cards are the universal refuge to which the -idle and the ignorant resort, to pass life away, and to keep their -inactive souls awake, by the tumult of hope and fear. - - “Unknown to them, when sensual pleasures cloy, - “To fill the languid pause with finer joy; - “Unknown those powers that raise the soul to flame, - “Catch every nerve, and vibrate through the frame.” - -And, of course, this is their favourite amusement. Silent, stupid -attention appears necessary; and too frequently little arts are -practised which debase the character, and at best give it a trifling -turn. Certainly nothing can be more absurd than permitting girls to -acquire a fondness for cards. In youth the imagination is lively, and -novelty gives charms to every scene; pleasure almost obtrudes itself, -and the pliable mind and warm affections are easily wrought on. They -want not those resources, which even respectable and sensible persons -sometimes find necessary, when they see life, as it is unsatisfactory, -and cannot anticipate pleasures, which they know will fade when nearly -viewed. Youth is the season of activity, and should not be lost in -listlessness. Knowledge ought to be acquired, a laudable ambition -encouraged; and even the errors of passion may produce useful -experience, expand the faculties, and teach them to know their own -hearts. The most shining abilities, and the most amiable dispositions of -the mind, require culture, and a proper situation, not only to ripen and -improve them, but to guard them against the perversions of vice, and the -contagious influence of bad examples. - - - - - THE THEATRE. - - -The amusements which this place afford are generally supposed the most -rational, and are really so to a cultivated mind; yet one that is not -quite formed may learn affectation at the theatre. Many of our admired -tragedies are too full of declamation, and a false display of the -passions. A heroine is often made to grieve ten or twenty years, and yet -the unabated sorrow has not given her cheeks a pallid hue; she still -inspires the most violent passion in every beholder, and her own yields -not to time. The prominent features of a passion are easily copied, -while the more delicate touches are overlooked. That start of -Cordelia’s, when her father says, “I think that Lady is my daughter,” -has affected me beyond measure, when I could unmoved hear Calista -describe the cave in which she would live “Until her tears had washed -her guilt away.” - -The principal characters are too frequently made to rise above human -nature, or sink below it; and this occasions many false conclusions. The -chief use of dramatic performances should be to teach us to discriminate -characters; but if we rest in separating the good from the bad, we are -very superficial observers. May I venture a conjecture?—I cannot help -thinking, that every human creature has some spark of goodness, which -their long-suffering and benevolent Father gives them an opportunity of -improving, though they may perversely smother it before they cease to -breathe. - -Death is treated in too slight a manner; and sought, when -disappointments occur, with a degree of impatience, which proves that -the main end of life has not been considered. That fearful punishment of -sin, and convulsion of nature, is too often exposed to public view. -Until very lately I never had the courage even to look at a person dying -on the stage. The hour of death is not the time for the display of -passions; nor do I think it natural it should: the mind is then -dreadfully disturbed, and the trifling sorrows of this world not thought -of. The deaths on the stage, in spite of the boasted sensibility of the -age, seem to have much the same effect on a polite audience, as the -execution of malefactors has on the mob that follow them to Tyburn. - -The worst species of immorality is inculcated, and life (which is to -determine the fate of eternity) thrown away when a kingdom or mistress -is lost. Patience and submission to the will of Heaven, and those -virtues which render us useful to society, are not brought forward to -view; nor can they occasion those surprising turns of fortune which most -delight vulgar minds. The almost imperceptible progress of the passions, -which Shakespeare has so finely delineated, are not sufficiently -observed, though the start of the actor is applauded. Few tragedies, I -think, will please a person of discernment, and their sensibility is -sure to be hurt. - -Young persons, who are happily situated, do well to enter into -fictitious distress; and if they have any judicious person to direct -their judgment, it may be improved while their hearts are melted. Yet I -would not have them confine their compassion to the distresses -occasioned by love; and perhaps their feelings might more profitably be -roused, if they were to see sometimes the complicated, misery of -sickness and poverty, and weep for the beggar instead of the king. - -Comedy is not now so censurable as it was some years ago; and a chaste -ear is not often shocked with indecencies. When follies are pointed out, -and vanity ridiculed, it may be very improving; and perhaps the stage is -the only place where ridicule is useful. - -What I have said is certainly only applicable to those who go to see the -play, and not to shew themselves and waste time. The most insignificant -amusement will afford instruction to thinking minds, and the most -rational will be lost on a vacant one. - -Remarks on the actors are frequently very tiresome. It is a fashionable -topic, and a thread-bare one; it requires great abilities, and a -knowledge of nature, to be a competent judge; and those who do not enter -into the spirit of the author, are not qualified to converse with -confidence on the subject. - - - - - PUBLIC PLACES. - - -Under this head I rank all those places, which are open to an -indiscriminate resort of company. There seems at present such a rage for -pleasure, that when adversity does not call home the thoughts, the whole -day is mostly spent in preparations and plans, or in actual dissipation. -Solitude appears insupportable, and domestic comfort stupid. And though -the amusements may not always be relished, the mind is so enervated it -cannot exert itself to find out any other substitute. An immoderate -fondness for dress is acquired, and many fashionable females spend half -the night in going from one place to another to display their finery, -repeat commonplace compliments, and raise envy in their acquaintance -whom they endeavour to outshine. Women, who are engaged in those scenes, -must spend more time in dress than they ought to do, and it will occupy -their thoughts when they should be better employed. - -In the fine Lady how few traits do we observe of those affections which -dignify human nature! If she has any maternal tenderness, it is of a -childish kind. We cannot be too careful not to verge on this character; -though she lives many years she is still a child in understanding, and -of so little use to society, that her death would scarcely be observed. - -Dissipation leads to poverty, which cannot be patiently borne by those -who have lived on the vain applause of others, on account of outward -advantages; these were the things they imagined of most consequence, and -of course they are tormented with false shame, when by a reverse of -fortune they are deprived of them. - -A young innocent girl, when she first enters into gay scenes, finds her -spirits so raised by them, that she would often be lost in delight, if -she was not checked by observing the behaviour of a class of females who -attend those places. What a painful train of reflections do then arise -in the mind, and convictions of the vice and folly of the world are -prematurely forced on it. It is no longer a paradise, for innocence is -not there; the taint of vice poisons every enjoyment, and affectation, -though despised, is very contagious. If these reflections do not occur, -languor follows the extraordinary exertions, and weak minds fall a prey -to imaginary distress, to banish which they are obliged to take as a -remedy what produced the disease. - -We talk of amusements unbending the mind; so they ought; yet even in the -hours of relaxation we are acquiring habits. A mind accustomed to -observe can never be quite idle, and will catch improvement on all -occasions. Our pursuits and pleasures should have the same tendency, and -every thing concur to prepare us for a state of purity and happiness. -There vice and folly will not poison our pleasures; our faculties will -expand; and not mistake their objects; and we shall no longer “see as -through a glass darkly, but know, even as we are known.” - - - FINIS. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES - - - 1. P. 97, changed “is was sufficient” to “it was sufficient”. - 2. Silently corrected obvious typographical errors and variations in - spelling. - 3. Retained archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings as printed. - 4. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_. - 5. Denoted superscripts by a caret before a single superscript - character or a series of superscripted characters enclosed in - curly braces, e.g. M^r. or M^{ister}. - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THOUGHTS ON THE EDUCATION OF -DAUGHTERS *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. 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