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diff --git a/old/68113-0.txt b/old/68113-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index fb39a03..0000000 --- a/old/68113-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,2552 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Jingles, by Winifred Sackville Stoner, -Jr. - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Jingles - -Author: Winifred Sackville Stoner, Jr. - -Illustrator: Karl Kae Knecht - -Release Date: May 17, 2022 [eBook #68113] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Charlene Taylor, Jwala Kumar Sista and the Online - Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This - file was produced from images generously made available by - The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JINGLES *** - - - Transcriber's Notes - - 1. Table of Contents with title-wise navigation-links, added by the - transcriber. - - 2. Typographical errors and hyphenation inconsistencies were silently - corrected. - - 3. Some illustrations appearing before chapter heading in the - original, are placed next to heading of relevant chapter. - - 4. The text version is coded for italics and other mark-ups i.e., - (a) Italics are indicated thus _italic_; - (b) Smallcaps thus +Caps+; and - (c) Images are indicated as [Illustration: (with narration...)] - - * * * * * - - - - - JINGLES - - - - - JINGLES - - [Illustration: decorative mark] - - WRITTEN FOR DEAR FRIENDS - BY - WINIFRED SACKVILLE STONER, Jr. - (When five and six years of age) - - [Illustration: decorative mark] - - ILLUSTRATED BY - KARL KAE KNECHT - - Copyright 1909 Smith & Butterfield, Publishers - Winifred Sackville Stoner, Jr. Evansville, Ind. - - - Table of Contents. - - Chapter Page - - A Christmas Wish For All My Friends 6 - - PREFACE 7 - - _AUTHOR AT ONE YEAR OLD_ _Plate 1_ - - The Pet's Christmas Carol 9 - - A Great Surprise 9 - - Santa's Reindeer In The Sky 10 - - Nissen, The Santa Claus of Norway 13 - - After The Fourth Was Over 14 - - A Kitten Gone To Waste 15 - - The New Baby 15 - - Woes Caused By Whooping Bugs 16 - - How Simple Simon Became Wise 16 - - _AUTHOR AT TWO YEARS OLD_ _Plate 2_ - - Too Many Dolls 17 - - The Cat Extincted The Canary 17 - - A Boy's Complaint 18 - - Koppa After Pi 18 - - A Whingwang Sonnet Of An Easter Bonnet 19 - - The Giant Arithmos 20 - - Good Weather Assured 20 - - Roosevelt Complimented By Mama Lion 21 - - All Dentists Go To Heaven 21 - - The Time Of His Life 22 - - King Teddy, The Fearless 23 - - Good Bye To Teddy Bears 23 - - Cats A Kissin (Catechism) 23 - - Hens 24 - - _AUTHOR AT THREE YEARS OLD_ _Plate 3_ - - Please Grandpa, Croak 25 - - Wee Willie's First Hair Cut 25 - - Wise Replies 25 - - It Takes A Cigar A Long Time To Wear Out 26 - - An Esperanto Poem Plain To All 26 - - Answers, Not Questions, Cause Trouble 27 - - The Pure Blooded Pup 28 - - Too ticklish to Count His Ribs 30 - - The Young Mail Carrier 31 - - On Thanksgiving 31 - - Living Valentines Presented By Cupid 32 - - _AUTHOR AT FOUR YEARS OLD_ _Plate 4_ - - Universal Peace 34 - - All The World Cries 35 - - Could Only Ask Questions 35 - - Let The Bumble Be 36 - - Take That Gum from Your mouth And Put Your feet In 37 - - The Tersest Bathing Suit 37 - - Furs Lined With Kittens 38 - - A Boy's Description Of A Goat 38 - - A Riddle 39 - - Grandpa's Head Cums Frew His Hair 39 - - Susan Rewarded For Twenty Year's Service 40 - - _AUTHOR AT FIVE YEARS OLD_ _Plate 5_ - - Bridget Makes Split Pea Soup 41 - - Lazy White Men Sit While Flying Through The Air 41 - - To Save Him From A Whipping 42 - - A Skillet In Society (Alias A Chafing Dish) 43 - - Autos Change Good Luck 44 - - A Boy Who Was Hero And villian 45 - - Wise Ignatius Escapes A Whipping 46 - - Nervous Jelly 47 - - One Johnson More, One Smith Less 48 - - _AUTHOR AT SIX YEARS OLD_ _Plate 6_ - - Pride 49 - - Job Smarter Than Modern Babies 50 - - Only Naughty Children See "Spooks" On Hallow'een 51 - - Six Year Old Girl Writes Poem Hoping To Save Forest Trees 52 - - An Appeal To The Fairies 52 - - -[Illustration: Illustrator writes and signs as: _Best Wishes to my -little friend, Miss Winifred S. Stoner Jr., whose delightful Jingles -I like to illustrate_--_K. K. Knecht_] - - - [Illustration: THE AUTHOR] - -The author of these little rhymes, which have been previously -published in "The Evansville Courier" and several other publications, -was born in Norfolk, Virginia, August 19, 1902. From her babyhood -days she has been a great lover of poetry and began composing -original rhymes when but three years of age. - - - - - A Christmas Wish - For All My Friends - - - While Christmas bells are chiming, oh, may there come to you - A dear sweet little fairy, who's always good and true; - The little HAPPY FAIRY, who drives away dull care, - And makes all things upon the earth seem ever bright and fair. - - She'll whisper to good Santa to bring what you most wish; - So if you have been longing for a fine pudding dish, - He will not, as in by-gone years, forget and bring to you - Something that you do not want, though beautiful and new. - - The HAPPY FAIRY'S MAGIC is in this wondrous leaf, - Which drives away all "bogies," and banishes all grief; - So if you would be happy, wealthy, wise and well. - Kiss the MAGIC WISHING LEAF from HAPPY FAIRY'S DELL. - - - - - PREFACE - - -This little book is dedicated to all of my relatives and to the -following friends: - -Mrs. Lucy Dillard Tabb Okeson, Miss Fannie F. Sams. Mr. and Mrs. -William Webb, Misses Blanche, Helen and Wydie Webb, Mrs. William -Sharp, Mrs. Mc Alpine, Miss Rebekah Mc Alpine, Mrs. John C. Taylor, Dr. -and Mrs. Adams, Walter and Forestall Adams, Miss Isabelle Nusbaum, -Virginia Leigh Morris, Bertram and Virginius Nusbaum, Mr. Albert -Warrington, Neely Warrington, Mr. and Mrs. M. G. Nusbaum, Mrs. -Charles Rowland, Elsie Rowland, Fred Riddle, Barry and Wilson Dodson, -Eugenie and Richard Jones, Christine Neubauer, of Norfolk, Virginia. - -Doctor Zamenhof, Warsaw, Poland; Prof. George Macloskie, LL. D. D. -Sc., of Princeton University; Mrs. George Macloskia, Princeton, N. -J.; M. Edmond Privat, Geneva, Switzerland; Mr. Sharon O. Brown, -Providence, R. I.; Mr. Charles E. Randall, Seattle, Washington; -Mrs. William Westcott, Holley, N. Y.; Mr. and Mrs. William Warren, -Newburgh, Ind. - -Mr. Arthur Baker, Mr. and Mrs. Frederick Guthrie, Mrs. A. R. -Hornbrook, Dr. Walter H. Fox, Miss Berthe Papot, Miss Dorothy -Millican, Miss Polly Young, of Chicago, Illinois. - -Prof. Edwin C. Reed, Washington, D. C.; Mrs. Wilbur F. Crafts, of -the Christian Herald: Dr. D. O. S. Lowell, of Roxbury Latin School; -Rev. Horace Dutton, of the Christian Endeavor World; Dr. William -Gray Nowell, Mr. John Fogg Twombly, Miss Eugenie Ohman, of Boston, -Mass.; Edwin and Dorothy Ehrman, of Rockport, Ind.; Dr. W. Addis, -Guaymas, Mexico; Mrs. Maybelle Anderson, Haverhill, Mass.; Miss -Ella Thomas, Monterey, Cal.; Dorothy Kirk, DesMoines, Iowa, Miss -J. E. Hamand, Schaller, Iowa; Mrs. Annie H. McDermid, Fontanelle, -Iowa; Mrs. Robert Winthrop Barr and Nelson Barr, Chattanooga, Tenn.; -Mrs. Maria T. Bird, Rockland, Maine: Mr. Harry Warren, Mr. Frank -Kirkpatrick, Cincinnati, Ohio; Miss Ruth Rickinson, Columbus, Ohio; -Dr. Clara Todson and Mr. Joseph Burila, Elgin, Ill.; Mr. and Mrs. -Ellis Dungan, Barton, Ohio; Mr. Herbert M. Scott, Moundsville, W. -Va.; Miss Mary F. Kelly Brambleton, Va.; Mrs. W. W. Davies, Richmond, -Va.; Earl Stratton, Jamestown, N. Y.; Miss Lois L. White and Mrs. W. -D. Christman, Washington, Pa.; Max Bosquet, Roanne et Loire, France; -Miss Emily Allen, Miss Jessie and Mary Eggleson, Dr. Levi Old, of -Norfolk, Va. - -Mrs. Linna Hennig Sherman, Miss Adaline Sherman, Mrs. Flora Williams, -Mrs. Alma Shafer, Dr. W. S. Hamilton, Prof. Walter Ross, Prof. C. C. -Brilles, Mr. and Mrs. C. M. Vester, Mrs. J. W. Bryan, Miss Elizabeth -Dean, Miss Margaret O'Brien, of Wheeling, W. Va. - -Mrs. John Speed, Memphis. Tenn.; Mr. Frank Royster, Colorado Springs, -Col.; Dr. Chase, Galveston, Texas; Prof. John E. McFadyen, Mr. and -Mrs. Max Arno Frind, Mr. Robert Sangster, of Toronto, Canada. - -Mrs. Lyde Morrow Petty, Miss Edith Edeburn, Leicester and Kenneth -Fisher, of Pittsburg, Pa.; Mr. and Mrs. Henry D. King, Mr. James G. -Diller, of Brooklyn, N. Y.; Lieutenant Arthur Crenshaw, U. S. N.; -Mrs. Arthur Crenshaw, Shanghai, China; Major H. W. Yemans, U. S. A.; -Capt. G. W. Kirkpatrick, U. S. A.; Francisko Yamota, Osake, Japan. - -Prof. Clayton R. Bowen, Mrs. Margaret Bowen, Meadville, Pa.; Misses -Mame, Jennie and Gwen Leo, Master Chap Leo, Mrs. L. H. Hall, Mr. and -Mrs. Frank Montgomery, Gertrude, Jean and Richard Montgomery. Mrs. -Thompson, Mrs. Lloyd, Mr. J. C. Spencer, Miss Eleanor Long, of Erie, -Pa. - -In Evansville, Indiana: The Editors of "THE COURIER," Mr. Henry C. -Murphy, Mr. Howard Roosa, Mr. Percy Carroll, Mr. Karl Kae Knecht, -Master John Speed Murphy, Miss Josephine Greene, Mr. Alfred Greene, -Master Howard Roosa, Miss O'Hara, Mary Sisson, Virginia Whittemore, -Marjory Moore, Alice Ashby, Martha Denby, Margaret Ruston, Virginia -Clarke, Miss Irene Jenner, Lawrence Jenner, Horace and Fred Cross, -Fritz and Ralph Dryborough, Wesley and John Downer, Oscar Uhl, -Jep Hardig, Raymond Chesley, Walter Weber, Misses Anna and Ella -Runcie, Edna and Alma Speck, Margaret Bacon, Loraine Cutler, Sallie -Whittemore, Salibelle Royster, Janie Sonntag, Katherine Imbusch, -Otilda, Margaret and Katharine Goslee, Harriet Knauth, Katherine -Lewis, Halene Busse, Caroline Patrick, Suzette Dunlevy, Katherine -Wellman, Dorothy Hannett, Mrs. M. O. Fowler, Mr. and Mrs. Walter -Runcie, Dr. L. D. Brose, Mr. Marshall White, Edgar and Melville -Garvin, Dr. and Mrs. W. L. Royster, Ruth Helen Birt, Charles -Sherwood, Mr. Neal Waledn, Mary, Frances, Helen and Hugh Harris, -Charlie Donnelly, Glenn Kirkpatrick, Bertha White. - -Mr. and Mrs. W. F. Wocher, Mrs. Katherine Brown, Mrs. John Candee -Dean, Mrs. William Turner, Miss Mary McEvoy, Miss Ethel Black -Kealing, of Indianapolis, Ind. - -Mrs. Anna Chase Brainard, Dr. S. Y. Howell, Mr. Edward F. Graham, Mr. -Russell R. Johnson, of Buffalo, N. Y., Dr. and Mrs. W. Baker, Terre -Haute, Ind. - - - Plate 1: [Illustration: AUTHOR AT ONE YEAR OLD] - - - - - The Pet's Christmas Carol - - [Illustration: Pet's Christmas Carol] - - - "Tweet-tweet-tweet!" sang the canary, - Which meant that he was very merry, - Because his little mistress Nell, - On Christmas eve had fed him well. - - "Bow-wow-wow!" sang the gay young pup, - "My master's gone away to sup, - But though he won't be here for tea, - Just see the meal he left for me!" - - "Mew-mew-mew!" sang the mamma cat, - "Such milk as this will make me fat, - And oh, I feel so very gay - This cold and frosty Christmas day." - - Each mamma cow sang "Moo-moo-moo!" - And gentle dove sang "Coo-coo-coo!" - And every horse and sheep and pig, - And duck and chicken, small and big, - A carol sang on Christmas eve, - Because a FEAST each did receive. - - - - - A Great Surprise - - (Written for Mother and Daddy.) - - - On the nineteenth day of August, in the year of nineteen two, - Most kind and gracious Madame Stork right over Norfolk flew, - And brought to my dear mother there a wonderful surprise, - A little red brown baby girl with large blackberry eyes. - Now, mother she had asked the stork to bring to her much joy, - And drop a bundle at her door containing a wee boy, - But when the stork made a mistake and brought just little me, - She thought that I was better far than any boy could be. - And wrapped me in the blanket which she'd planned for my wee brother, - And which my dear "MA MIE" had knit to help my busy mother. - She changed the name of Lionel to little Winifred, - And all the things for brother planned, she gave to me instead. - - - - - Santa's Reindeer In The Sky - - (Written for Grandmother Sackville.) - - [Illustration: SANTA'S AEROPLANE] - - - Long, long ago, before this earth had any girls and boys - To hang their stockings on the shelf, expecting Christmas toys, - Good Santa was a big white cloud that floated in the sky; - if you had lived in those old days, you'd seen him floating by. - - But when the children came to rule upon good Mother Earth, - She took kind Santa from the sky and made him God of Mirth; - To bring at every Christmas time good gifts to girls and boys - And make them all so happy with a lot of lovely toys. - - Far, far among the icebergs, in the cold and freezing zone, - She built for him a palace, where he lives almost alone, - With only good old Mrs. Claus to keep him company, - And sometimes Cousin Nicholas for two days or for three. - - Wise Mother Earth she knew this clime would suit good Santa well, - For here no foolish, idle folks would ever come to dwell; - Nor pay the good Saint visits which would waste his precious time, - While he could work much faster here than in a warmer clime. - - But never did he suffer from the icebergs at the Pole, - As Fairies kept his fireplace all full of red hot coal; - Or heaped bright burning logs on it as full as it could hold, - So Santa never felt at all old Jack Frost's biting cold. - - Likewise these Fairies brought to him and his most faithful spouse, - Just everything that they could need to keep a cozy house, - And even cooked their victuals and brought them every day - Exactly at the proper time, upon a huge hot tray. - - And after they had eaten all the dainties on the tiny, - The good kind fairies they would come and take the tray away; - So Mrs. Claus had no excuse for being cross or sad, - Since no experience she had had with Bridgets getting mad. - - When Santa finished all his toys, he put them in a sack, - Where he intended carrying them upon his great broad back, - But Mother Earth surprised the saint and to his palace led - Eight lovely prancing reindeer and a large commodious sled. - - These reindeer were the cousins of swift Pegasus, the steed - Who helped the hero Perseus when he was in great need; - And like the flying hero horse, they lived up in the sky, - 'Till Mother Earth had need of them to help old Santa fly. - - And so on every Christmas eve for full ten hundred years, - Good Santa and his reindeer fleet have banished childrens' tears, - By bringing them 'most all the gifts their little hearts could wish, - And filling stockings, shoes and plates and great round pudding dish. - - But when last Christmas came around, good Mother Earth she said, - "Dear Santa I have something fine for you to use instead - Of your good, faithful reindeer and your big old fashioned sled, - For here's a lovely aeroplane all painted shining red." - - The wise old lady then declared that he could safely fly - With this machine 'most anywhere away up in the sky, - And travel far, far faster than reindeer who were fleet - But stumbled sometimes on the roofs made slippery with sleet. - - The aeroplane could carry well a larger load of toys, - So he could visit more good girls and also little boys, - Who live in far off heathen lands where everyone's a sinner, - But that's no reason each should do without a Christmas dinner. - - With this machine he'd save some time to look out for each pet - Of all the little girls and boys as they so oft forget - To treat their pets most kindly upon the Christmas morn - In memory of the Saviour, who on this day was born. - - And likewise all the horses, the cows and pigs and sheep, - For men so seldom think of them when Christmas time they keep; - And even wild, fierce animals, and fishes in the sea, - Should all be made quite happy at Christmas time to be. - - "I do not like this plan at all of giving up my sled - And my good faithful reindeer," so good old Santa said. - But Mother Earth she laughed at him and said she would repay - The reindeer, whom she would send home, straight to the milky way. - - But Santa was old fashioned and had great fears to fly - Without his sled and reindeer, he'd used in years gone by, - And begged that on his maiden trip these true old friends to take - To help him should the aeroplane prove but a wicked fake. - - The laughing Earth she granted him this very small request, - And early on glad Christmas eve (the eve of all most blest), - He started forth upon his trip, did good old Santa, dear, - Guiding his Wright aeroplane with feelings of great fear. - - But Mother Earth showed she was wise and knew just what was best - To help the good old tired saint while on his children quest; - And fast the good Wright aeroplane it flew both low and high, - So Santa took the Earth's advice, and though he heaved a sigh, - - He dropped the poor old worn out sled as he was passing by, - And people said, who saw it fall, "A METEOR FROM THE SKY!" - Then kissing each good reindeer, he bade them all farewell, - And left them in the MILKY WAY, forever there to dwell. - - And you, my little children, who have heard the tiny hoofs - Of the little flying steeds pattering on the roofs, - If you would like to catch a glimpse of Santa's good reindeer, - Then wait until it's dark some night, and when the sky is clear, - You'll see them very plainly in the broad light MILKY WAY, - And there for all the time to come, these steeds will romp and play. - - [Illustration: Santa's reindeer & Little children] - - - * * * * * - -Written for my Godmother, Mrs. Lucy Dillard Tabb Okeson, of Norfolk, Va. - - - When I was one year old, - So often I've been told, - Dear "Ma Mie" sang to me - This cunning poetry: - "Mousie, pousie, wousie, - In the Boush Street Housie," - And always from that time - I've loved to make a rhyme, - So if it be my fate - To write a poem great, - Then dearest, sweet "Ma Mie," - The praise belongs to thee. - - - - - Nissen, The Santa Claus of Norway - - [Illustration: +Nissen+] - - (The story told in this rhyme was sent to the author by her -globe-trotting friend, Mrs. William Westcott, from Christiana, Norway.) - - - How glad I am that I was born in this land very dear, - Where children have a Santa Claus of whom they have no fear; - A Santa who is always kind, remembering one and all, - When every year at Christmas time, he pays us all a call. - - In far away chill Norway, there NISSEN is the name - Of the Christmas visitor who bears good Santa's fame; - But he's a naughty brownie, so short and very small; - Not a bit like Santa, who is large and fat and tall. - - But like our good gift giver, his beard is long and white, - And he wears a coat of furs and many colors bright; - But instead of bringing goodies to good girls and to boys, - Nice new clothes and books and games and lots of wondrous toys. - - He expects that all the big folks and also little ones, - Should leave his favorite dishes, such as puddings, cakes and buns, - Outside of every doorway, so that he may eat at will - Of these luscious dainties until he has had his fill. - - Then after eating all the cakes his "Tummy-tum" can hold, - He milks the cows and splits the wood (at least so I've been told), - But never thinks to bring nice gifts to little girls and boys, - Whose parents have to trim their trees and buy them all their toys. - - Besides, this naughty NISSEN is cross at times and bad, - And does all sorts of horrid tricks, which I think very sad - At Christmas, when we all should be so kind to one another - And treat each person whom we meet as if he were our brother. - - But NISSEN steals away the cows and even horses fleet, - From all the people who forget to bake him puddings sweet; - And if above a whisper one should dare to speak or sing - About this cranky fellow, then this evil he will bring - Upon the one who dared to throw, his name upon the breeze, - As from that time the guilty one must sneeze and sneeze and sneeze. - - Now in our land we sing loud praise of Santa all the time, - And tell about his goodness great, in prose and jingling rhyme; - And yet it seems the more we sing about the jolly elf, - The more he brings each year to us upon the mantel shelf. - - But children in far Norway are better girls and boys - Than we who live in this fair land and think so much of toys, - That we forget about the pets while feeding our own selves, - Like thoughtless, greedy little pigs or naughty selfish elves. - - While Norway children in the fall they work to gather corn, - And save it for the birds they feed on every Christmas morn, - So we should follow in their steps and feed the wee birds crumbs, - Before we start to feast ourselves on Christmas sugar plums. - - - - - After The Fourth Was Over - - (Written for Uncle Lionel Sackville.) - - [Illustration: NISSEN PLAYING TRICKS] - - - After the Fourth was over, after the play was done, - Poor little John and Willie forgot that they'd had some fun; - John, with his eyes all bandaged, Willie with one eye gone, - Had changed from joyous boys, who rose with the FOURTH'S bright dawn, - Determined to shoot great cannons and frighten some silly girls, - To tie big crackers to dogs' tails, and make the pin wheels whirl. - - Tommy with one hand bound up and with a bepowdered face, - Alex with two burned fingers and bones nearly all out of place; - Edgar with one leg broken and poor little Peter with two, - Thought that they'd had enough sorrow to last them a whole life - through, - But mother, who heard them crying, while soothing her darlings to - sleep, - Was thankful that some of the pieces she yet was able to keep, - And sad for the weeping mother of poor naughty, unlucky Jim, - As the booming JULY CELEBRATION blew the whole head off of him. - - - - - A Kitten Gone To Waste - -(This story was told to the author by Mrs. William Warren, of Newburgh, - Indiana.) - - [Illustration: Kitten gone to waste] - - - When little Mary Alice was only three years old, - She went upon a visit to Aunt Maria Hold, - A lady who was noted for saving everything, - From gold and silver dollars down to a turkey wing. - - She soon taught Mary Alice to never throw away - A single bit of anything which might be used "some day," - And Alice, who was clever, she learned to put away - All bits of ribbon, cloth and lace, and chicken feathers gay. - - Each day she kept quite busy hunting something more - Which she could take to Auntie or add to her own store; - And one day in excitement, she ran in greatest haste, - Crying, "Oh, dear Auntie, sumfins don to waste! - A perfectlee dood kitty is thrown out on the dump - Of the kitchen ash-pile, behind the garden pump!" - - [Illustration: decorative end-mark] - - - - - The New Baby - - (Written for Alfred Greene, Jr., Evansville, Indiana.) - - - When Alfred saw the baby wee the stork to him had brought, - He stood quite silent for a while and thought and thought and thought - Until he'd solved the problem about the CURIOUS ONE - Who'd traveled far from Storkland, though she couldn't walk nor run. - Then to his mother he declared in accents of dismay, - "Dear mother we must send this kid back to her home to-day, - 'Cause someone's cheated us I know and brought us an old child - With bald head and without a tooth and like an Indian wild." - Whenever it begins to cry it almost lifts the roof, - So mother, dear, I think 'tis best for you to keep aloof - From the old ugly Indian thing and send it to Stork-land, - Then you and I'll be glad again and go to hear the band. - - - - - Woes Caused By Whooping Bugs - - (Written for Cousin Harvey Stoner, Jr.) - - [Illustration: Woes caused by bugs] - - - If you don't believe that whooping cough causes lots of woe, - Just catch a few of whooping germs and then I guess you'll know - That whoopee-whoop! and wheepee-wheeps! are not one bit of fun, - When you see others playing games where all must jump and run, - For if you jump or if you run, you start the whoop-oop-oop! - And even when you're tired you can't sleep for the croup, - Caused by the awful whooping bugs, which lurk within your throat - And make your voice sound hoarser than the singing of a goat. - - For fear of spreading whooping-bugs you certainly can't go - To Sunday-school or other school, or even to a show, - But you must stay at home ALONE from three to six long weeks, - And listen to your croaking voice, which whoops and sometimes squeaks. - So therefore take the good advice of a little girl who knows, - And stay away from WHOOPING-COUGH, which causes lots of woes. - - [Illustration: decorative end-mark] - - - - - How Simple Simon Became Wise - - (Written for "St. Nicholas," February, 1909.) - - - Simple Simon met young Heiman reading from a book, - Said Simple Simon to young Heiman, "Let me have a look?" - Said young Heiman to Simple Simon, "I will not selfish be, - My great delight, ST. NICHOLAS, I'll gladly let you see." - - Then Simple Simon and young Heiman spent an hour or two - Reading from this wondrous book, so full of all that's true, - And when they'd finished Simon lad of Mother Goose's fame, - By virtue of his knowledge great, WISE SIMON, he became. - - - Plate 2: [Illustration: AUTHOR AT TWO YEARS OLD] - - - - - Too Many Dolls - - (Written for Wydie Webb, of Norfolk, Va.) - - - Miss Margaret Mary Elizabeth May, - Had one hundred dollies with which she could play, - There were bisque dolls and wax dolls and dolls with real hair, - Red dolls and black dolls and dolls that were fair, - Fat dolls and plump dolls and dolls in the style, - Hipless and jointless and dressed in a smile; - Rag dolls and wood dolls and celluloid boys, - China and paper and Jumping Jack Joys; - Irish and Scotch dolls and dolls from Paris, - And all of the strange lands from over the sea; - Japies and Chinese and dark Esquimos, - Dutchies and Germans and cutest Dagoes; - Dollies from Egypt and dollies from Spain, - Hindoos and Hebrews and one little Dane. - From Poland and Russia they'd traveled afar - By railroad and steamer and also by car - To join other dollies from Johnnie Bull's home, - And lovely Italians from far away Rome. - From Greenland and Iceland, Norway and Greece, - The string of these dollies seemed never to cease. - But Margaret Mary Elizabeth May - Could never decide with which doll to play, - So she was not happy as poor little Sue, - Who in her doll family had only two - Wretched rag dollies without any hair, - But which she considered a most lovely pair, - And these ugly dollies they gave her delight, - As with them she played from morning 'till night. - - [Illustration: decorative end-mark] - - - - - The Cat Extincted The Canary - - (Written for Josephine Greene, Evansville, Ind.) - - [Illustration: Naughty pussy cat extincted the canary] - - - "Josephine," asked the teacher, "can you tell to me - Any bird that's now extinct, but used on earth to be?" - - "Oh, yes, Miss Jane," said Josephine, "our sweet canary, Jim, - Because the naughty pussy cat she quite extincted him." - - - - - A Boy's Complaint - - (Written for John Speed Murphy, Evansville, Indiana.) - - [Illustration: "BABEE"] - - Grandma calls me Johnnie, father calls me John, - My sweetheart calls me Buddy, and the boys call me Don, - But mother, oh dear mother, whenever I come near, - She calls me darling BABY and sometimes "BABY DEAR." - - I like the name of Johnnie, I'm proud of my name John, - I don't mind hearing Buddy and the shorter name of Don, - But though I love dear mother far more than all the rest, - Her name of DARLING BABY I thoroughly detest. - - You see when I am playing with boys in the street, - And pitching ball or doing some extraordinary feat, - It makes me feel so little to hear my mother call, - "Watch out my darling BABY, be careful lest you fall!" - - I'm not a darling baby, nor little baby dear, - I'm quite a great big boy and have no baby fear, - But I can't stand the guying the boys give to me, - When mother starts to calling that hateful name--"BABEE." - - - - - Koppa After Pi - - - I've very little Latin and very little Greek - Stored away in my small brain, which yet is very weak, - But one thing I'll remember, I think until I die, - And that is that the KOPPA follows after PI. - And mother says perhaps this solves the very reason why - The "Kops" they follow after cooks well trained in baking pie. - - - - - A Whingwang Sonnet Of An Easter Bonnet - - (Written for Cousin Marian Stoner.) - - [Illustration: Little girl without curl] - - - Once there was a little girl, - But she didn't have a curl, - Though she had an Easter-bonnet - With ostrich plumes and flowers on it, - Since like her mother she aspired - A la mode to be attired. - - But when she rose on Easter morn - With deepest grief her heart was torn, - For oh, alas! the rain was falling - In torrents great; to her appalling, - As well she knew 'twould spoil her bonnet - With ostrich plumes and flowers on it. - - Her hair in papers she had worn - The whole night through and tortures borne - In hopes to have a curl or two - To wear beneath her bonnet new. - But now, alas, the horrid rain - Would make her hair all straight again. - - And so with fear of straightened hair, - Which might cause folks to laugh and stare, - And likewise to protect her bonnet - With ostrich plumes and flowers on it, - She thought it best to stay away - From Sabbath school on Easter day. - - - - - The Giant Arithmos - - -This story was told to the author by her teacher, Mrs. A. R. Hornbrook, - of the Hornbrook Correspondence School of Mathematics, 5622 - Ellis Avenue, Chicago, Ill. - - - Great Jack-the-Giant-Killer brave, he killed all giants bad, - But one good giant's life was spared by this bold warrior lad. - ARITHMOS was this giant great, and all bright girls and boys - Should love the famous Giant-King far more than all their toys. - He's very old, and very great, and also wondrous wise, - For he can count all things on earth and even tell their size. - He knows how many birds there are; how high each bird can fly, - But never does he boast, or brag, or stoop to tell a lie. - He is so tall that he can reach up to the starry sky - And count the stars and meteors bright as swiftly they go by. - 'Tis he alone can tell you when a great eclipse will come - And darken the moon's lady or the old man in the sun. - He's always so good natured and obliging to us all; - He'll help us with our lessons hard when for his aid we call, - And tell us just the number of ripe apples on a plate, - How far away Chicago is, and if the train is late. - In fact he always answers us whene'er we ask "HOW MANY?" - And for his work and trouble never thinks to ask a penny. - All teachers and professors couldn't teach without his aid, - And men in every business know through him they will be paid. - We cannot sing in perfect time, nor even play a drum, - Divide an apple, buy a doll nor do the smallest sum, - And even BRIDGE by ladies fair cannot at all be played - Unless this mighty GIANT-KING will kindly lend his aid. - So as we cannot get along without "ARITHMOS LORE," - We all should learn his wondrous truths and love him more and more. - - - - - Good Weather Assured - - (Written for the Evansville Courier, February 3, 1909.) - - - When the second of February rolls around, - Out of his hole in the cold, dark ground - Comes Mr. Groundhog to look at the sky - And see if the season of summer is nigh; - So that he in the fields may merrily run - And eat farmers' crops 'neath the light o' the sun. - But if his own shadow he unfortunately sees, - In the greatest of terror he falls on his knees, - And quickly returns to his subterra home, - Resolving that he will not again roam - 'Till six stormy weeks have slowly gone by - And then once again, perhaps he will try - To put his flat head above the cold ground, - And take a survey of the earth all around. - So I made up my mind that during the year - I'd keep him at home so he couldn't appear. - And to bring wintry weather he hadn't a chance - For of his own shadow he caught not a glance. - - - - - Roosevelt Complimented By Mama Lion - - [Illustration] - - - One day last week King Teddy arose with old King Sun, - And seeing a huge lion, he seized his trusty gun - And made the King of Jungle-land quickly homeward run, - While Teddy followed after and thought it lots of fun. - King Lion reached his cavern home, trembling in great fear, - But when Queen Lion heard his tale, she simply scratched one ear, - Then shrugged her shoulders a la hump and to her husband said, - "In all the best newspapers, how often have I read, - That Teddy loves all parents who large families possess, - And I am sure with many cubs our happy den is blessed." - - Then brave and proud Queen Lion she carried out each babe, - And placed it in the doorway of her Afro-Jungle cave; - And there she proudly waited for King Teddy to appear, - For of his teeth and of his gun she hadn't any fear. - The coward King of Jungle Land, he bid himself inside, - And when he heard King Teddy's voice his bones shook in his hide; - But soon he knew his tears were vain when Teddy laughing said, - "As mother of fine sextets, you surely rank ahead - Of all the lions I have met in circus tent or den, - To meet you I'm DEE-LIGHTED, and I hope we'll meet again." - - - - - All Dentists Go To Heaven - - (Written for Dr. Richard Morris, Evansville, Ind.) - - - I don't like dentists, because they hurt me - With horrid bad pinchers as sharp as can be. - They pick at my teeth and scratch in my head - Until I begin to wish I were dead. - But I read in the paper (so I suppose it's so) - That all of the dentists to Heaven will go, - Because they are needed away up there - To make gold crowns for the angels fair. - - - - - The Time Of His Life - - (Written after seeing a cartoon by Mr. Karl Kae Knecht in the - Evansville Courier.) - - [Illustration: When He Met a School of Twelve Hippopotami] - - - There are many schools of learning and also schools of game, - But the school with largest members bears KING HIPPO'S name, - And big and little people, yes even EVANS' FLEET, - Would think it quite unpleasant a Hippo school to meet. - - But Bwana Tumbo Teddy, who knows no thought of fear, - Laughed in joyous pleasure as the SCHOOL drew near, - And smiling at the leader, he made her stiff with fright, - As from his parted mouthpiece his white teeth came in sight. - - Then Bwana seized his rifle and taking steady aim, - He fired at Queen Hippo and made her front legs lame, - Then shooting at her sisters, and brothers left and right, - He scattered all the mighty beasts and drove them out of sight. - - All those he killed, this hunter brave, then quickly towed ashore, - Saying, "I'M DE-LIGHTED, and I hope to meet some more - SCHOOLS OF HIPPOPOTAMI that feel inclined for strife, - As in this Hippo-battle I'd the time of my whole life." - - - - - King Teddy, The Fearless - - The names of tropical diseases mentioned in this rhyme were given - to the author by a young doctor who thought they could not be made - to rhyme. - - - King Teddy has much courage to fight both beasts and men - With pistols and with broadswords and with the mighty pen. - And now in Afric jungles he's busy fighting fleas, - Mosquitoes, and big tigers and monstrous bumble bees; - Huge elephants, gorillas, and awful Guinea-worms, - Sloughing phagedaena, and sleeping sickness germs, - Tinea imbricata, piedra and goundou, - Malaria and the ainhum, pinta and the sprue, - Chyluria, mycetoma, leprosy and yaws, - Afric dysentery and maybe lions' claws, - Bubonic plague and dengue and dreadful tropic-boils, - Fevers black and yellow and sometimes serpents' coils, - Tinea Madagascar, Dhobie itch, screw worms, - Beri-beri and craw-craw and all the Afric-germs; - With dread sun-traumatism, and abscess of the liver, - Yet none of these great terrors can make King Teddy shiver. - - - - - Good Bye To Teddy Bears - - - Good-bye to all the Teddy Bears, both big and small! - The "Billy Possums" are in style for one and all, - We little girls, like older folks, are bound to keep in style, - And so we have to change our toys most every little while. - - When Roosevelt or "Teddy," was ruler o'er this land, - All stylish girls and clever boys kept bears on hand - To play with and to walk with and to put to bed at night, - As "Teddy Bears" were symbols of the Rooseveltian light. - - But when King Teddy left his throne, Taft got his seat, - And soft brown teddies disappeared from home and street, - While "Billy Possums" came to rule for two years or for three, - When "BRYAN KITTENS" will be hatched and all the rage will be. - - - - - Cats A Kissin (Catechism) - - (Written for Cousin Patricia Rehn.) - - - Last week my cousin Patti, who isn't yet quite three, - Went to our good Sunday School with mother and with me. - She sat quite still and listened well to all the teacher said, - Until I thought she stowed away much knowledge in her head. - But when that evening Auntie asked, "What did my darling hear - When she went to Sunday school; tell me, won't you, dear?" - She shrugged her little shoulders and said, "Not anyfing - Except dey said some funny words and den began to sing; - Though 'bout de cats a kissin', well, the teacher said you should - Teach me ev'ry evenin' and den I'd be so dood." - - - - - Hens - - (Written for Aunt Mary Helena Rehn.) - - [Illustration: Cluck cluck no nails for me to cut.] - - - What curious birds are common hens! - They make good broth and even pens. - They have no teeth, no hair, no nose, - But sport a comb red as a rose. - They have no arms or funny bones - That causes folks to let forth groans, - Their victuals they all swallow whole - And use a craw for a chopping bowl. - They have no hands, they have no wrists, - And without hands they can't make fists, - But for one thing they should rejoice - And cluck aloud with cheerful voice; - Not having hands, they have no nails, - Which are the cause of many wails, - For once a week we girls and boys - Must put aside our games and toys - And all our nice exciting tales, - While mother trims our finger nails. - - - Plate 3: [Illustration: AUTHOR AT THREE YEARS OLD] - - - - - Please Grandpa, Croak - - [Illustration: Granddaddy - young Harry] - - - "Grandaddy," said young Harry, "do a good turn for me, - By croaking like a big bull frog so I can plainly see - If Daddy told the honest truth or only cracked a joke - Because he said I'd have some "dough" if you would only croak." - - - - - Wee Willie's First Hair Cut - - - Last Friday, for the first time, wee Willie went with me - To the colored barber, who bowed most graciously - And asked the little fellow how should he crop his curls, - Close to his head, in medium length, or bobbed like little girls? - Wee Willie answered promptly, "My hair, please, barber, crop - Like my own dear Daddy's, wif a small round hole on top." - - - - - Wise Replies - - (Written for Uncle Thomas Cresswell, London, Eng.) - - - "Joan of Arc, and who was she?" - Asked the teacher of little Leigh. - "Wife of Noah, of course," said she, - "Who sailed the ark upon the sea." - - "John's so wise he laughed at Leigh - When she tried to answer me, - So in the future for replies - We'll always go to John the wise. - Now what is lava, Johnnie, dear, - Can it be found in places near?" - - "Why, certainly," said smiling John, - "Most every day Dad puts it on, - And covers nearly his whole face - With lava thick in every place." - - - - - It Takes A Cigar A Long Time To Wear Out - - (Written for Mr. Harry Warren, Cincinnati, Ohio.) - - [Illustration] - - - When Harry Warren was a boy only five years old, - He wasn't then as he is now, so very big and bold, - But he was very much afraid of bad tobacco smoke, - Which seems to those who know him now to be a funny joke. - - He had an uncle on whose knee he loved to sit each day - And listen to exciting tales about the Pixies gay, - But when this uncle had a light upon a long cigar, - Then little Harry used to sit away from it as far - As he could manage well to get upon his uncle's knee, - Since Harry feared tobacco smoke more than a bumble bee. - - One day while sitting way far out upon his uncle's knee, - He grew so very tired as he waited there to see - The end of the long smoker which made smoke all about - And said, "It takes that big cigar a long time to wear out." - - - - - An Esperanto Poem Plain To All - - (Written for Prof Macloskie, Princeton University.) - - - Hundido krias--"Bow-wow-wow!" - Katido krias--"Meow-meow!" - Bovido krias--"Moo-moo-moo!" - Kolombo krias--"Coo-coo-coo!" - Shafido krias--"Baa-baa-baa!" - Infano krias--"Ma-ma-ma!" - - - - - Answers, Not Questions, Cause Trouble - - This story was told to the author by Mrs. Frederick Guthrie, of - Chicago, Ill. - - -MOTHER. - - "Don't bother your father with questions, Ervane, - He's tired of hearing you ask to explain - Why fishes can't walk or ride on the land? - How lizards and fleas can live in the sand? - What causes the sun to set in the west - And always to sleep in one golden nest? - When will the time come for children to fly - And play in the clouds with the birds in the sky? - Such foolish, vain questions, they trouble your dad - And sometimes I fear they make him quite sad." - - "No, mother," replied the inquisitive lad, - "It's the ANSWERS not QUESTIONS that trouble poor Dad." - - - - - The Pure Blooded Pup - - (Written for Mrs. Anna Chase Brainard, of Buffalo, N. Y.) - - - Once there was a little pup who lived in far off Kent, - Where he was born some years ago in kennels of Lord Dent; - His mother was of purest blood and likewise was his Pa, - So he arrived upon this earth without a single flaw. - - His tail was just the proper size and so was each small ear, - His shapely legs and nose and paws, they pleased his mother dear; - And with her soft and scarlet tongue she kissed her baby pup - And loved him, oh, so dearly, that she almost ate him up. - - The keeper of the kennels when he saw this terrier pup, - Declared, "It's just a beauty and will surely win "THE CUP" - For being a fox terrier of very purest breed - And now to my dear master I'll go with greatest speed - - And tell him of this puppy who will bring our kennels fame - And ask him what he thinks will be a truly proper name - For the most perfect terrier that ever came to Kent; - It seems to me he should be called for my great master "Dent." - - The master when he heard the news that a new pup had come, - Left off his game of playing cards and drinking pints of rum, - And hastened to the kennels to behold the wondrous pup, - Who at the coming dog show was to win the great prize cup. - - The mother dog she wagged her tail, with pride she was puffed up, - As her great master stood right near and smiled upon her pup, - While saying, "Higgens, listen well to what I have to say, - And care for this good mother dog and her fine pup each day. - - I'll name him for my ancestor, the great and famous Kent, - And in that name to the dog show next year he shall be sent, - Where I am sure he'll win the prize above all others there - For he is perfect in his shape and has fine silky hair." - - So little Kent was tended well and petted every day, - He never had to seek for bones and only had to play, - And having nothing else to do on mischief he was bent, - Was this aristocratic pup, owned by the great Lord Dent. - - And when a year had passed around, one day the master came - To take him to the London show, where he would win great fame; - But Kent was very naughty, as he did not wish to go - Away from his good kennel home to any prize dog show. - - At last his master whipped Pup Kent and oh, but he did swear - Because Kent snapped at Higgens, who was combing his fine hair - And putting on a collar with a chain of golden beads; - Such ornaments Kent could not see that any puppy needs. - - At last the royal pup was dressed in pupdom regal style, - And drove in a fine carriage, oh, for many a weary mile, - Until he came to London town, where nothing he could see, - Because all things were bidden with a fog as thick as could be. - - Before he'd even time to think, this 'ristocratic pup, - He found himself in a small cage with all the doors shut up, - And many men were standing round and gazing long at him, - While passing comments on his shape of head, and tail, and limb. - - Kent glared at them in silence and he would not wag his tail, - In fact just like a good young boy who might be put in jail - When he had never done a thing to break the country's law, - So felt this little terrier, this pup without a flaw. - - And when the judges thought that he should have the ribbon blue - Because of his most perfect blood shown by the records true, - He snapped and barked and even bit at those who came quite near - To tie the lovely ribbon on the neck of "PUPPY DEAR." - - So they decided that despite his wondrous pedigree - There yet was something in his blood that ought not there to be - And gave the prize, a silver cup, to a more common dog, - Who lay so still and quiet that he might have been a log. - - But when that evening our Lord Dent beheld with great surprise - That a less blooded terrier had won the noble prize, - He felt so very angry that he wished to beat Pup Kent, - And ordered that the beastly dog should quickly home be sent. - - But while poor Kent was going home so sad and in disgrace, - He got away from Higgens and he found another place - Far, far away from kennels of the great and wealthy Dent, - Near to a peaceful village, the runaway he went. - - Here he lay down so tired and thought of many a bone, - Which now was being gnawed each day by his good ma alone, - Since Dent, her darling puppy boy, was oh, so far away, - Oh, how he wished to gnaw a bone with his good ma this day! - - But as he lay a dreaming of lovely things to eat, - Quite suddenly a large gray rat ran right across his feet, - And after it there followed an Irishman named Pat, - Who sought to make a timely end of bad old Mister Rat. - - Big Pat was armed with a huge club and called to his old dog, - "Now, come along ye lazy baste, before he's in the bog!" - Then Kent he jumped and in one bound he seized poor Mister Rat, - Shook him about 'till he was dead and then brought him to Pat. - - Big Pat he gazed in wonder at the clever little dog, - And sitting down upon a large and green moss covered log, - Said, "Shure, ye bate this lazy hound that kennot catch a rat, - And if ye'll stay right here, me boy, I'll trate ye well," says Pat. - - Then proudly Kent he wagged his tail and tried so hard to smile - Upon the good old Irishman, who patted him awhile, - Then coaxed the stranger after him right through a broad green lane, - Which led to the fine country home of good Sir Michael Kane. - - And here Pat introduced the pup to all the family, - And they were all so very kind as any folks could be, - They patted his soft silky hair and praised him to the sky, - And gave him a big gravy dish all filled with nice meat pie, - And likewise a huge saucer, which was full of real sweet cream, - Which made the hungry doggie think that he was in a dream. - - So here Dog Kent decided was the best place for to dwell, - And here he still is living and is feeling very well. - He goes each morning to the barn and helps his good friend Pat - To catch the naughty rodents, who are called the name of RAT. - - The cook she feeds him daily, and he captures all the mice, - Which love to haunt the kitchen of the cleanly Bridget Bryce. - While little Mikey loves dear Kent far more than all his toys, - And says he'd rather play with him than any girls or boys, - Because he never minds a bit to jump right in the pond - And bring to land a stick or stone or weeping willow wand. - - He always acts politely to all who may come near, - And so all strangers pet him and think he is a dear. - They like his soft and silky hair, which proves he has good blood, - And never does he make folks mad by tracking floors with mud. - - He's wiser than most common dogs, whose hair is rough and coarse, - His bark is always pleasant, and 'tis never loud nor hoarse; - He's swifter also than slow dogs who cannot catch a rat, - Because they always eat too much and get so very fat. - - - MORAL. - - - This story proves that good, pure blood is a fine thing to own, - But it can't help the puppies or the children all alone, - Unless these youthful puppies and the children, very small, - Learn to keep quite busy and to have a smile for all. - - - - - Too ticklish to Count His Ribs - - (Written for Richard Montgomery, Erie, Pa.) - - [Illustration: Psychology teacher asked Dickie Gray.] - - - In the class of physiology the teacher asked one day, - How many ribs have you, my boy, tell me, Dickie Gray? - And wiggling, giggling Dickie very promptly made reply, - "Dear teacher, I must tell the truth, for I could never lie, - But as for ribs I cannot say how many I possess, - For I'm too awful ticklish to count them, I confess." - - - - - The Young Mail Carrier - - (Written for Mr. and Mrs. W. F. Wocher, Indianapolis, Ind.) - - [Illustration: Billy and his Mother] - - - Young Billy from his lovely home disappeared one day, - And when his mother missed her lad she thought he'd run away, - But soon the sprightly little chap came quickly running back, - Bearing on his shoulders small, a large round leather sack, - And said, "Dear mother, I have been a very good, kind boy, - Trying like the Bible says, to bring our neighbors joy. - I played I was a postman and I paid each one a call, - And to the people in this block, I gave them letters, all." - - MOTHER: "But where, my precious little lad, my darling, honey pet, - Where in the name of goodness these letters did you get?" - - BILLY: "I found them with no trouble; they were the ones that you - Kept in your top bureau drawer, all tied with ribbons blue." - - - - - On Thanksgiving - - - Before you eat good turkey, rich mince and pumpkin pies - On that great feast or feast days when "tum-tums" grow in size, - The good old day THANKSGIVING, the best day in the year, - When all should be so thankful around the board of cheer, - Then don't forget the poor ones, the hungry, cold and sad, - Go fill their empty tables and make the whole world glad. - - - - - Living Valentines Presented By Cupid - -Written February, 1909, for an entertainment at St. Paul's Episcopal - Sunday School, Evansville, Ind. - - - CUPID: "I'm glad to see you all to-night, - And it will give my heart delight - Some lovely valentines to show - And make you wish you had a beau." (SHOWS BOW.) - - FIRST PICTURE--A SUNBONNET BABY. - CUPID: "Here's a little baby fair, - But you can't see her face or hair." - - BABY: "I'm some one who loves you (POINTING AT AUDIENCE). - Can't you guess who?" - - SECOND PICTURE--BOY WEARING A LARGE HAT AND WITH - BACK TURNED TO THE AUDIENCE. - CUPID: "Here's another, called 'GUESS WHO,' - Come to say, 'How do you do.'" - - BOY: "I'm for my own dear valentine. - Guess me and I'll be thine." - - THIRD PICTURE--HEART'S DELIGHT. - CUPID: "This is Heart's Delight, - Look at her face, so beaming bright." - - HEART'S DELIGHT: "If you love me, oh, my dear, - This is how I will appear." (SMILES AND SINGS A SONG.) - - FOURTH PICTURE--HEART'S SORROW. - CUPID: "Watch this poor aching heart of sorrow, - He'll cry all day and perhaps to-morrow. - - HEART'S SORROW: "If you do not love me, dear, - This is how I will appear." - - FIFTH PICTURE--TWO JAPS. - CUPID: "Allow me the pleasure to show to thee - A very sweet picture from over the sea." - - THE JAPS HOLD FANS IN FRONT OF FACES AND SING: - "Jap a ling a ling, Jap aling a lee, - You're my Jappie baby, - If you lovee me as I lovee you - No knife can cut our love in two." - - CUPID: "I'll tell you what they said, - I'm sure they mean to wed. - Cho, cho, cho, cho, nano hagi tomare - Nano haga eyay nawraw teni tomare. - Dai dai mushi, dai dai mushi - Tsuno chitto dashare - Ame kaze foku kara tsuno chitto dashare." - - SIXTH PICTURE--FRENCH VALENTINE. - CUPID: "Now I'll show you a lady from far away France - Who says, 'Parlez-vous' and knows how to dance." - - FRENCH VALENTINE: "Je vous aime, je vous adore - Que voulez-vous de plus encore?" - FRENCH VALENTINE DANCES. - - SEVENTH PICTURE--GERMAN VALENTINE. - CUPID: "This is a lady who wants a beau, - In her own language she'll tell you so." - - GERMAN VALENTINE: "Ich liebe dich, lieben sie mich?" - - EIGHTH PICTURE--COMIC VALENTINE. - CUPID: "This a comic, to make you smile, - And keep you good humored a little while." - - COMIC, HOLDING A LARGE GRAVY SPOON IN ONE HAND, YELLOW - MOON IN OTHER. - "Of all earthly joys, I love best to spoon - With thee, oh, my darling, 'neath the light o' the moon." - - NINTH PICTURE--ANOTHER COMIC. - CUPID: "Another comic will now appear, - I hope that you his plea will hear." - - BOY DRESSED IN RIDICULOUS COSTUME, KNEELING AND - HOLDING A CARDBOARD HEART: - BOY: "My heart is thine, my soul is thine, - Won't you be my valentine?" - - TENTH PICTURE--THE OLD-FASHIONED VALENTINE. - CUPID: "The pleasure now, dear friends, is mine, - To show you one more valentine. - This is my dear sweet valentine, - Sent to us from 'Ye olden time.'" - - GIRL DRESSED IN OLD-FASHIONED COSTUME: - "I am an old-fashioned dame, - But I love you just the same." - - CUPID: "And I am an Esperanto valentine, - For me dear friends, you all should pine. - Karulin' mi amas vin, - Chu vi amas, amas min? - Kaj nun mi deziras vin - Estu mia valentin'!" - - - Plate 4: [Illustration: AUTHOR AT FOUR YEARS OLD] - - [Illustration: decorative mark] - - - - - Universal Peace - - (Written for Mr. Charles Randall, Seattle, Washington, (Mia Onklo - Karlo.) - - [Illustration: +No EATA You--No. Me Know+ ESPERANTO+ - - +Knecht+] - - - Not long ago, Sir Wu Ting Fang, - A song of peace most sweetly sang, - Suggesting that the Pension Millions, - Given yearly will be billions - Unless all wars be made to cease - By a Tribunal ruled by "PEACE." - - But good Sir Fang he did not go - Far off to Hague or else he'd know - That Peace Tribunals bring not "PEACE," - Nor cause all bloody wars to cease; - As every man from each strange land - All other men can't understand - E'en when the learned GO-BETWEEN - Tries to explain and makes a scene. - - Of mighty sword and mightier pen - Poets have sung time and again, - But they forgot in songs they sung - To praise the power of a COMMON TONGUE, - And ne'er will banners of PEACE be unfurled - 'Till ESPERANTO rules over the world. - - - - - All The World Cries - - (Written for Katherine Wellman, Evansville, Ind.) - - [Illustration: CRYING ANIMALS AND PETS] - - - "Quack-quack-quack-quack!" cries Auntie Duck, - While Mother Hen goes "Cluck-cluck-cluck!" - And Papa Dog cries, "Bowwow-wow," - And Sister Cat, "Me-ow, me-ow!" - - "Eek-eek- eek- eek!" squeals Grandma Pig, - I'm growing, oh, so fat and big;" - While "Cackle-cackle" all the day, - The little goslings like to say. - - Proud Grandpa Turkey struts along - With his eternal gobble-song: - Sir Horse he whinnies, "Hee-hee-hee!" - And "buzzey-buzzey" goes Miss Bee. - Sis Maud, the Mule, cries "Hee-hee-haw!" - And Missy Crow goes "Caw-caw-caw!" - Good Madam Cow cries, "Moo-moo-moo!" - And gentle Doves they "Coo-coo-coo!" - The Baby Lambs cry, "Baa-baa-baa!" - And little Kids squeal, "Ma-ma-ma!" - - - - - Could Only Ask Questions - - (Written for Miss Edna Speck, Evansville, Ind.) - - - "Madelaine," asked her mother, when home she came at noon, - "How did you like your teacher, or can't you tell so soon?" - MADELAINE. - "Oh, yes, I formed my 'pinion long 'fore I started home, - She's rather pleasant, looks quite wise, and wears a lovely comb, - But surely she is stupid in spite of her wise looks, - 'Cause she only asked us questions from out a lot of books. - - - - - Let The Bumble Be - - (Written for Cousin Virginia Rehn.) - - [Illustration: STUNG...+Knecht+] - - - One day I saw a bumble bee bumbling on a rose, - And as I stood admiring him he stung me on the nose. - My nose in pain, it swelled so large it looked like a potato, - So Daddy said, though Mother thought 'twas more like a tomato. - And now dear children this advice I hope you'll take from me, - And when you see a bumble bee just let that bumble be. - - - - - Take That Gum From Your Mouth And Put Your Feet In - - (Written for Cousin Pauline Sackville.) - - [Illustration] - - - Young Susie was quite noted for having great large feet, - And for working both her jaws, this maid could not be beat. - Her wad of gum she always bore with her unto the school, - Though well she knew she might be spanked, for 'twas against the rule, - But skillfully she hid this gum, did naughty little Sue, - Though oft' behind her little book she took a little chew, - But once when she was building up a castle in the air, - And thought she was a lady rich and most entrancing fair, - While stretching out her legs and feet into the narrow aisle - And thinking of sweet Bobby Jones, the maid began to smile. - Then suddenly the teacher cried, above the school room's din, - "Take that gum from out your mouth and put your feet right in." - - - - - The Tersest Bathing Suit - - This story was told to the author by Mr. Marshall White, - Evansville, Ind. - - - When to the seashore Robert went, with Ma and Sister Nell, - He met a wise professor, who soon taught him to spell, - Likewise to read of fairy lore and use a real steel pen - To write to his own father dear, who like most all the men - Must ever stay at home and work to earn the cents to pay - For wife and children's outing 'till the summer slips away. - - Now all the strange, uncommon words which little Bob could find, - He stored away and tried to keep in his small, active mind - So as to use in writing notes to his dear fat old Dad, - And when the big folks used strange words it made him very glad. - So one day when of something TERSE he heard his sister tell, - He asked her for its meaning and he thus rewarded Nell - By writing to his father, dear, "Oh, Daddy, you should see - Nell's awful TERSEST bathing suit, which won't reach to her knee." - - - - - Furs Lined With Kittens - - (Written for Adaline Sherman, Wheeling. W. Va.) - - [Illustration] - - - Said a rich little girl, who was boasting one day, - "I'ze too many furs, so I throws dem away," - But her poor little friend, who fine furs had none, - In braggadocia could not be outdone, - And proudly she showed her little fur mittens - And said, "I'ze sum odders, do deys lined wid kittens." - - - - - A Boy's Description Of A Goat - - (Written for Cousin James Diller.) - - - When the teacher asked young Leo to write a little rhyme - Describing some strange animal he'd seen at any time, - He seized his long slate pencil and this is what he wrote - About the common animal, which children call a goat: - A goat is stronger than a pig, - But often it is not as big. - It has four legs just like a horse, - But never runs on a race-course. - It gives good milk, though not as much - As cows and elephants and such, - But more than any bull or ox, - Rooster, ram, or sly old fox. - Like any mule a goat likes hay - And all tin cans we throw away. - He's useful and I'm fond of him, - But some good folks have a strange whim - To hold their noses when he's near, - And act as if they greatly fear - To touch his fur which has the smell - Of something I know very well. - The odor I'd know anywhere, - It's like Dad's tonic for his hair. - - - - - A Riddle - - (Written for Miss Mame Leo, Erie, Pa.) - - [Illustration] - - - One night 'neath the light of a silvery moon - There sat on a log pile a very fat coon - And also a little most cunning brown fellow - Eating of melon so juicy and mellow. - The large robust coon and the wee little one - Thought they were having a bushel of fun, - And laughed very loudly in notes of pure glee, - For they were as happy as happy could be. - - So here is a riddle I'll give now to you, - Guess the relations there was 'twixt the two. - -ANSWER. - - Most everyone answers, "Why, father and son." - Not so--'twas a Mammy and her little one. - - - - - Grandpa's Head Cums Frew His Hair - - (Written for Margaret Ruston, Evansville, Ind., and Mr. Wm. Warren - Newburg, Ind.) - - - When Margaret was a youngster scarcely two years old, - At climbing chairs and tables this lass was very bold, - And one day when her grandpa was seated in his chair - She climbed upon the rounded rungs as if they were a stair, - And looking at her Grandpa's head, which fast was growing bald, - She cried out, "Dearest Grandpa, one time you must hab failed," - Or maybe you've been naughty and dot an awful scare, - Which taused de top ob yu's round head to tum right frew de hair. - - - - - Susan Rewarded For Twenty Year's Service - - (Written for Dr. and Mrs. W. Baker, Terre Haute, Ind.) - - [Illustration] - - - Professor Theophilus Socrates Snook, - One day paid a visit to Susan, his cook, - And beaming upon her with kindliest look - Said, "Susan, my dear, please gaze at tins book. - In here you may learn of elephantiasis, - And also the hookworm, uncinariasis; - Of craw-craw and chiggers, of ainhum and sprue, - And all that I've written about them is true. - Now, Susan, to me you've been faithful, my dear, - In keeping my house for many a year; - For years nearly twenty you've been now with me, - Cooking my victuals just as they should be, - And truly I think a reward I should pay - To one who has labored from day unto day. - So when I discovered a wondrous new germ, - Which causes young children to wiggle and squirm, - I thought that this bug for you I would name - And bring you great glory and honor and fame. - It's a wondrous discovery, this ungomariasis, - And so we will call it the SUSANBONPIASIS." - - "No, thank you, your honor," said Susan Bawben, - "I had the bugs once and don't want 'em again, - And if you onsist upon callin' me BUGS, - I'll lave you alone wid your books and your drugs." - - - Plate 5: [Illustration: AUTHOR AT FIVE YEARS OLD] - - - - - Bridget Makes Split Pea Soup - - (Written for Lieutenant and Mrs. Arthur Crenshaw, U. S. N.) - - [Illustration: K.K.] - - - "Bridget," asked the mistress, "whatever is the matter, - Nothing ready for our Lunch excepting pancake batter? - Why, I invited guests to come for lunch at half past one - And they've been waiting all this time and yet there's nothing done." - - "Well, mum," replied Miss Bridget, "the fault is all your own, - For split pea soup you ordered and workin' here alone, - It's took me most two hours while tryin' just to split - Three hundred of these blarsted peas, which give me most a fit, - And as there's still three hundred, 'twill take two hours more - To split the pesky little things, shure as me name's MAHORE!" - - - - - Lazy White Men Sit While Flying Through The Air - - [Illustration: KNECHT] - - - Poor Lo, the Indian, disrespects his brothers wise and fair, - Who now on aeroplanes are wont to make trips through the air. - He watches them go circling like birds up in the skies, - Then grunts, "Heap lazy white man, he sits down when he flies." - - - - - To Save Him From A Whipping - - (Written for Howard Roosa, Evansville, Ind.) - - [Illustration: K.] - - - When Mrs. Hall, who had spent the day - With Mrs. Greene, was going away, - Wee curly headed naughty Joe - Begged so hard that she wouldn't go. - - Now all the day this roguish lad - Had disobeyed and been quite bad, - So Mrs. Hall, in great surprise, - Paused and looked in his brown eyes, - While saying, "I'm so glad to know - You love me truly, dearest Joe." - - "Oh, 'tisent that," said honest Joe, - "I wouldn't mind for you to go - Except my mother said to-day, - She'd whip me when you went away." - - - - - A Skillet In Society (Alias A Chafing Dish) - - (Written for Mrs. Katherine Brown, Indianapolis, Ind.) - - [Illustration: KNECHT] - - - I heard my mother, just to-day, asking dear old dad, - To buy her a nice chafing-dish and make her very glad; - Though he declared its cooking was a waste of alcohol, - Causing indigestion and perhaps a doctor's call. - I inner saw a chafing-dish and so I longed to know - How it looked and what 'twas for and so and so and so; - But mother would not answer and daddy went away, - So I sought the kitchen, where Bridget holds her sway, - And asked her if she ever saw, since she began to cook, - A chafing-dish on pantry shelf or pictured in a book? - Then Bridget turned her pug nose up with a "contempshus" air, - And gave a twist to her small knot of brick dust colored hair, - And said, "A chafing-dish, my dear, so says Miss B. Moriety, - Is but a common skillet pan that's got in High Society." - - - - - Autos Change Good Luck - - (Written for Uncle Cicero Stoner.) - - [Illustration: KNECHT] - - - Poor Uncle Zeke, he's very sad, and says the whole world's wrong, - For when he was a little boy it was a common song, - To sing about the luck which came from finding a horse shoe, - And in those good old lucky days the sign was always true. - - But Sunday when poor Uncle Zeke was walking on the street, - He saw a lucky horseshoe which was lying at his feet, - And as he stooped to seize the prize which lay before him there, - Along an automobile came and whizzed him in the air. - - To-day I saw him lying still and pale upon his couch, - And oh, my goodness gracious, but he had an awful grouch! - His hands and arms in bandages were tied securely up, - And on his forehead was a bump like Aunt Mariah's cup. - - He told me I should listen well and take his counsel sage, - And never try to get good luck in this fierce auto age, - By picking up a horse's shoe in street or country road - No more than I would stoop to seize a common green back toad. - - - - - A Boy Who Was Hero And villian - - (Written for Uncle Ernest, Sackville.) - - [Illustration: KNECHT] - - - One day in a big meeting held by a MERCY-BAND, - The leader asked each little boy to hold up his right hand - If he could tell of any deed of kindness he had done - In saving some poor animal or helping any one. - Then Ernest held his hand on high and pride suffused his face, - As from his seat he quickly rose and took the speaker's place, - While speaking loud in accents clear, "I saved a little pup - Who had his tail in a tin can all tied securely up. - I took the can from off his tail and made him bark with joy, - So mother said and so said dad--I was a darling boy." - - "And so say I," the leader said, while calling him her "DEAR," - "But how I wish the wicked boy who did the deed was here." - ERNEST. - "Well, here he is, for I'm the boy who did that deed as well, - So I could take the tin can off and of my goodness tell." - - - - - Wise Ignatius Escapes A Whipping - - (Written for Edgar and Melville Garvin, Evansville, Ind.) - - [Illustration: KNECHT] - - - "Father," said learned Ignatius, as the strap was preparing to fall - Down on his trouserless bare-skin, "I don't mind a whipping at all, - But are you quite certain, dear father, the strap has been well - sterilized - For virulent germs in old leather are often concealed and disguised; - And surely by violent impact with textile and soft porous skin, - But lately exposed to the street's dust there's danger of entering in - Upon my most delicate system, and then comes the big doctor's fee, - So dear father show you're a wise man and touch not that strap upon - me." - - While the learned youth plead, lo! his father upon that dread strap - loosed his hold, - And thus he escaped from a whipping, Ignatius, the wise and the bold. - - - - - Nervous Jelly - - (Written for Charles Donnelly, Evansville, Ind.) - - [Illustration: KNECHT] - - - One day when there was company, wee greedy Lillie May, - Took the jelly nearly all when it was passed her way; - And in great haste she ate it up with her small silver spoon, - But oh, alas, the Piggiewig! she was discovered soon - By mother, who was greatly shocked to see her naughty elf - Eating like a greedy boy from off the kitchen shelf. - But mother couldn't scold aloud for fear the guest would hear, - And so she softly whispered, "Don't eat that way, my dear." - Then Mrs. Dean, the company, she patted Lillie's head, - And smiling at the jellied face, she to the culprit said, - "I've always liked the jelly good which makes my bread so sweet, - And surely it tastes better still when with a spoon we eat - This lovely, wobbling dainty, which is loved by one and all, - From little girls and tiny boys to great men, large and tall." - This speech encouraged Lillie May, who nodded her wise head - And said, "Besides dis jelly is too nervous for to spread." - - - - - One Johnson More, One Smith Less - - (Written for Salibelle Royster, Smith's Mills, Kentucky.) - - [Illustration] - - - When Zekiel Rastus Johnson had the courage to propose - To lovely Miss Amanda Smith, she turned up her flat nose - And said, "Now Rastus Johnson, how dare you ask of me" - To change my 'ristocratic name and Mrs. Johnson be, - When now in the directory, the Johnsons are ahead - Of our most noted family, so 'course I would not wed - With you to make one Johnson more to swell the Johnson line, - While Smiths in number take back seats where they can never shine. - - - Plate 6: [Illustration: AUTHOR AT SIX YEARS OLD] - - - - - Pride - - (Written for St. Nicholas, June, 1909.) - - [Illustration: KNECHT] - - - The Bible says that pride's the cause of people falling down, - And an example of this truth I once saw in our town, - When we were driving on the street and watching passers-by, - From out a store stepped a fine dude, all dressed in silk hat high, - And pants so tight he could not take a single manly stride, - His moustache curled and round his neck a ribbon pink and wide, - While in his hand a gold head cane, which he twirled round and round, - So that the people all would know a great man was in town; - But being filled with pride of self he did not know his heel - Had come in contact with a part of a banana peel - Until it felled him to the earth and smashed his silk hat's crown - And even then he did not know 'twas PRIDE that knocked him down. - - - - - Job Smarter Than Modern Babies - - [Illustration: K] - - - "Mother," said Lida, "why can't brother speak, - Is he so stupid or only just weak, - Like poor ancient Grandma, when she has a cold, - And loses her voice so she can't even scold?" - - "No, darling," said mother, "your brother can't talk, - Eat sugar candy, nor even yet walk, - As he is a baby the size of your doll, - And babies can't talk when they are so small." - - "Then, mother," said Lida, "the kids nowadays - Are not half so smart in all of their ways - As babies who lived in the long, long ago, - For dear teacher told me (so 'course it is so,) - That Job in the Bible cursed the day he was born, - I 'spose like big Tom, when he can't play his horn." - - - - - Only Naughty Children See "Spooks" On Hallow'een - - (Written for Aunt Winifred Broad, - Stockleigh Pomeroy, England.) - - [Illustration: decorative border KNECHT] - - - Witches and goblins, spooks and elves, - With sprites and gnomes from elf-land delves, - To-night are flying here and there, - Yes, up and down and everywhere. - For this one night in all the year, - They rule the earth and bring great fear - To all the naughty little boys - Who tease good girls and break their toys. - - These spooks they also make girls sad - When they are selfish, cross and bad; - So when it's dark, bad boys and maids - They see these awful fearsome shades, - And that is why with covered heads, - They trembling lie in their warm beds. - - But even there, they goblins see, - Spooks, and gnomes and all that be - Abroad upon weird Hallow'een, - When all the wizards may be seen - By naughty kids and grown up folks, - Who like to play most wicked jokes. - - But good young girls and gentle boys, - The kids who are their mothers' joys, - They like the dark just as the light, - For spooks ne'er come within their sight, - And in their dreams the lovely elves - Show them bright scenes from fairy delves. - - So, if to-night you are afraid - Of any spook or any shade, - We'll know you are a naughty child, - So cross and willful, rude and wild. - - - - - Six Year Old Girl Writes Poem Hoping To Save Forest Trees - - (From "The Woman's National Daily.") - - -The following rhyme was written by a little 6-year-old-girl in hopes -to save a beautiful forest near Evansville, Ind., and to help the -Children's Outing Farm. A short account of the little girl's work -as an Esperantist appeared in a recent issue of The National Daily -and a number of articles concerning her abilities as a linguist have -appeared in other publications. - -She is the youngest child in the world holding a diploma from Dr. -Zamenhof for being able to read, write and speak in Esperanto, and -she also speaks French as well as English. - -This little girl, who was born in Norfolk, Va., has been a lover of -books since her babyhood days. She knew Mother Goose by heart when -but 1 year of age and learned to read when but 2. At 4 she read -Lamb's Tales of Shakespeare and had finished the fifth reader. A few -months ago she was sent to school, but could not be graded, as she -could read, write and spell anything, but knew nothing of arithmetic. -The noted mathematician, Mrs. Hornbrook, of Chicago, having met the -little girl at Chautauqua, N. Y., and knowing of her mental powers, -asked to instruct her in this branch, and she soon taught her the -rudiments of arithmetic. - -She is the daughter of Dr. J. B. Stoner, Surgeon in the Public Health -and Marine Hospital Service, and Winifred Sackville Stoner, President -of the Woman's Esperanto League. - - - - - An Appeal To The Fairies - - - Good Fairies, save the lovely trees which live on Coal Mine Hill! - Their home has been your home so long, your hearts with grief would - fill - Should stout men armed with axes come and fell them to the earth, - These monarchs of the forest, these jewels of great worth. - The giant oaks and stately elms, the rulers of this wood, - Have watched the growth of Evansville and helped it as they could. - They gave their shade and soft bright leaves to make a downy nest - To shelter the first baby boy that Evansville possessed. - Before this city had a church in which both bad and good - Could ask forgiveness of the Lord, they worshipped in this wood; - And those who love the beautiful and lovely scenes to see, - They climb upon this grassy hill and stand beneath some tree, - While gazing far as eye can reach to fair Kentucky's lands, - Or looking at the river shore on which our city stands. - Above their heads the bright blue sky, green grass beneath their feet, - And all around a lovely scene such as we seldom meet; - Green pastures with cows grazing, broad river flowing by, - And many tall church spires lifted toward the sky. - No fitter place for children nor grown-up folks could be - Than on this lovely Coal Mine Hill where Nature we may see. - 'Tis here the little orphans and poor children all around - Find the greatest pleasures which in this woods abound. - So, dearest, kindest Fairies, please rescue these grand trees, - And save them for the children--we ask you on our knees. - - THE END - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK JINGLES *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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