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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Public Square, by Will Levington
-Comfort
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: The Public Square
-
-Author: Will Levington Comfort
-
-Release Date: September 23, 2022 [eBook #69035]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: D A Alexander, David E. Brown, and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was
- produced from images generously made available by the
- Library of Congress)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PUBLIC SQUARE ***
-
-
-
-
-
- THE
- PUBLIC SQUARE
-
-
-
-
- THE
- PUBLIC SQUARE
-
- BY
- WILL LEVINGTON COMFORT
-
- AUTHOR OF “ROUTLEDGE RIDES ALONE,” ETC.
-
- [Illustration]
-
-
- D. APPLETON AND COMPANY
- NEW YORK :: :: MCMXXIII
-
-
-
-
- COPYRIGHT, 1923, BY
- WILL LEVINGTON COMFORT
-
-
- PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
-
-
-
-
- TO
- DOROTHY MOSHER
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS
-
-
-
- CHAPTER PAGE
-
- I. 54 HARROW STREET 1
-
- II. THE COLORED MAN 10
-
- III. A FISH OMELET 17
-
- IV. LAMBILL KNOCKS 23
-
- V. LUNCHEON AT SHARPE’S 31
-
- VI. ENTER, FANNY GALLUP 36
-
- VII. “THE FREEDOM OF IGNORANCE” 47
-
- VIII. SOMEBODY’S SHOULDER 52
-
- IX. “YOU BOTH HAVE KEYS” 61
-
- X. APRIL BREATHES AGAIN 69
-
- XI. THE BABY CARRIAGE 75
-
- XII. UNDER THE SAME LAMP 81
-
- XIII. “MOTHER” 87
-
- XIV. ISOLATION 93
-
- XV. THE COBDEN INTERIOR 99
-
- XVI. DICKY FEELS A SLUMP 109
-
- XVII. NEW LODGERS FOR HARROW STREET 113
-
- XVIII. AN OUTER CHANGE 118
-
- XIX. FANNY DRIES HER TEARS 120
-
- XX. THEY WALK IN CIRCLES 124
-
- XXI. THE DINNER COAT 129
-
- XXII. A LETTER FROM PIDGE 136
-
- XXIII. THE RED ROOM 143
-
- XXIV. MISS CLAES SPEAKS 149
-
- XXV. “BE IT EVER SO HUMBLE” 154
-
- XXVI. THE HANGING SOCK 161
-
- XXVII. THE MAHATMA AND THE MIRACLE 167
-
- XXVIII. THE RACK OF SEX 175
-
- XXIX. RUFUS’ PLAY DAY 180
-
- XXX. THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE 190
-
- XXXI. TWO LETTERS FROM INDIA 194
-
- XXXII. FRANCE, 1918. THE YANK 197
-
- XXXIII. PARIS, 1918--HADDON AND AMES 202
-
- XXXIV. THE HOUSE OF DUCIER 207
-
- XXXV. FANNY HEARS THE DRUM 214
-
- XXXVI. RUFE HURRIES HOME 218
-
- XXXVII. JOHN HIGGINS’ CODE 219
-
- XXXVIII. AN OFFICE OF THE WORLD 225
-
- XXXIX. SEVEN FLAWLESS DAYS 229
-
- XL. THE YANK DEVELOPED 239
-
- XLI. UNDER THE MANGOES OF CAWNPORE 246
-
- XLII. LALA RELU RAM 249
-
- XLIII. HATHIS LAMENTS 257
-
- XLIV. THE SLATE AND THE SPONGE 263
-
- XLV. AMRITSAR, APRIL 13, 1919 268
-
- XLVI. THE HOOKED MAN 277
-
- XLVII. IN THE WARM DARK 281
-
- XLVIII. “INDIA’S MESSENGER” 288
-
- XLIX. PIDGE TRIES GRAMERCY PARK 292
-
- L. DICKY’S IDEA WORKS 298
-
- LI. “WE LOOK UPON WOMEN AS SACRED” 302
-
- LII. THE OLD FACE 309
-
- LIII. THE WHITE LIGHT AGAIN 315
-
-
-
-
-THE PUBLIC SQUARE
-
-
-
-
-I
-
-54 HARROW STREET
-
-
-A GIRL of nineteen had just arrived in New York, with one fat bag.
-She turned into the curving silence of Harrow Street, which is only
-three minutes’ walk from Washington Square, but some trick to find.
-Several times she changed her bag from one hand to the other, sometimes
-putting it down and stepping around it, until she came to a door with a
-room-to-rent sign. This house was painted fresh green, the only thing
-that distinguished it from all the other houses of the block, except
-the number, which was Fifty-four.
-
-“Here goes me!” she said, starting up the stone steps.
-
-She rang. The door before her didn’t open, but the basement door below
-did. A woman’s voice called, “Yes?” in rising inflection.
-
-The girl trailed her bag down to the walk and around the railing to
-the lower entrance where a dark-faced woman stood, regarding her with
-almost concerned attention--dark eyes that saw too much, the girl
-decided. The face was un-American, but its foreign suggestion was
-vague. It might even have been East Indian. If her skin was natively
-white, it had certainly known the darkening of much sunlight. As the
-girl drew near she sensed a curious freshness from the woman; something
-hard to name, having to do with the garments as well as the shadowy
-olive skin.
-
-“I want to rent a room--a small back room. I saw your sign on the door.”
-
-“I have a room, but it hasn’t much air,” the woman said.
-
-“I don’t need much air----”
-
-“Come and we’ll look. It is on the upper floor, but it is not quite
-back. Leave your bag here in the hall.”
-
-It was eleven in the morning, but the smell of coffee was in the dark
-basement corridor, and laughing voices were heard behind the shut door
-to the right. A man’s voice said in a stimulated tone:
-
-“Believe me, and I’ve been around, Miss Claes is the deepest-dyed sport
-I’ve ever met. You could drag her the length of Harrow Street and she’d
-come up fresh from the laundry----”
-
-“That reminds me, I’m going to start a laundry,” a woman’s voice
-announced.
-
-“I’m going to start something myself----” came another voice.
-
-The girl, following through the corridor, heard a little breathless
-sort of chuckle from the woman ahead of her on the dark stairs. The
-place smelled like a shut room when it rains--a cigaretty admixture.
-
-They climbed. The next hall was spooky with gaslight; the next was
-gay with frying sausages. They climbed. The next was the one, and
-it smelled of paint--the same green paint as on the outside of the
-house--on one of the doors and doorframes, but the wood was plainly
-charred under the paint.
-
-“We had a fire, but we put it out with wash water before the engines
-got here, soapy water.”
-
-The girl had a picture of threshing soap about in pails of water before
-applying it to the flames.
-
-“This is the one,” the woman said, unlocking the next to last room from
-the back on the left. “All the rest are filled just now. Most of my
-lodgers never leave, only as they strike it rich----”
-
-“Do they often strike it rich?”
-
-“Oh, yes, dear. New York is quite the most magic place in
-America--something for every one who comes, if he only stays on.”
-
-They had crowded into the little room.
-
-“This is fine,” the girl said. “This is what I want. It’s just as I saw
-it.”
-
-“You get your water in the hall below,” the woman explained. “There
-is no gas plate, so you will have to bring your coffeepot down to my
-stove in the basement. The walls are ugly, but I’ll see that the cot is
-clean for you. If the wall of the next house across the area were only
-painted white, you would get more light.”
-
-The wall spoken of was less than three feet from the window sill.
-
-“What is the price?” the girl asked, with a cough before and after.
-
-“Twelve dollars a month.”
-
-“I will pay for a month now,” she said, with a small part of a big
-out-breath.
-
-“When did you come to New York?” the woman asked.
-
-“This morning.”
-
-“First time?”
-
-“Yes. From Los Angeles.”
-
-“And you have had four nights on the train?”
-
-“Six. It was a slow tourist train. I sat up from Chicago----”
-
-“Have you lived in Los Angeles long?”
-
-“Always--in and around.”
-
-“We don’t dare to think of Los Angeles much. To a lot of us here in
-New York, it’s a kind of heaven. Southern California--the sea and the
-mountains and the ten months of sunlight and the cool morning fogs and
-the ripe figs----”
-
-“I’ve wanted New York like that,” the girl said. “I’ve wanted New York
-so badly that I was afraid on the train that it wouldn’t stay until I
-got here----”
-
-“That’s the way to come,” the landlady said. “New York would wait for
-you. Oh, yes, New York waits for your kind. What are you going to do
-here?”
-
-“Write.”
-
-“Really?”
-
-The woman sat down on the edge of the cot. Her interest did not seem
-an affectation. Her figure was thin but lithe. One wouldn’t know in
-these shadows if she were nearer twenty-five or thirty-five. She seemed
-altogether without haste, smiling easily, but slow to laugh aloud. Her
-eyes looked startlingly knowing as she lit a cigarette--not natural
-somehow. At the same time in the matchlight her face had looked tired
-and weathered. Her way of speaking was like an English person, or one
-educated in England.
-
-“Do you mean stories?” she asked.
-
-“Yes, a book, a long story--set in eighteenth-century France.”
-
-“But you seem so young.”
-
-“I have written for a long time--always written.”
-
-“How old are you, please?”
-
-“Nineteen--but I have lived in a writing house always.”
-
-“Where is your house? I have been to Los Angeles.”
-
-“Back in a canyon near Santa Monica and my father is there now--in his
-slippers. He teaches every one how to write----” There was something
-baleful in the girl’s blue eyes, or perhaps it was exhaustion, as she
-smiled.
-
-“Does he write stories?”
-
-“No, metaphysics, but he knows everything----”
-
-“What is your name?”
-
-“Musser--Pidge Musser. Not Pidge, really. Pandora is my name, but
-every one calls me Pidge. My father started it.”
-
-“Is his name Adolph Musser?”
-
-In the dimness, the girl’s face looked like a blur of white; a little
-stretched, too, it appeared just now.
-
-“Yes, that’s his name,” she said in a hopeless tone. “So you know him,
-too?”
-
-“I heard him lecture once.”
-
-“I suppose you ‘fell for’ him? They all do.”
-
-The woman’s black eyes twinkled. “The lecture was on cosmic
-consciousness,” she said. “I remember distinctly that Mr. Musser
-outlined four paths of approach.”
-
-“Yes, the mystical, the occult, the mathematical, and the artistic. Did
-he talk in bare feet?”
-
-“Yes, and an Eastern robe.”
-
-“That was a camel driver’s robe,” said the girl. “Oh, I didn’t think
-I’d hear of him here.”
-
-“You won’t. May I call you Pidge?”
-
-“Yes, what you like. My father names everything.”
-
-“It sounds better than Pandora--at least, to me.... I must go down now.
-A little breakfast party is waiting there. Take off your things. I’ll
-come back soon. I am Miss Claes and I want to come back already.”
-
-Pidge Musser sat almost in the center of her room, but not quite. At
-least, she sat in the center of the stiff little cot. She could touch
-two of the walls. The third was across the narrow aisle from the cot.
-The fourth was the windowed one, which looked as if it were about to
-be bricked up entirely. That was quite a distance.
-
-Her room. She was alone. She looked at the door, arose, brought in the
-key and turned it from the inside. Alone, and this was New York. She
-could live a month anyway, and write and write on _The Lance of the
-Rivernais_. She could be herself and not be told how to live and love
-and write and bathe and breathe, and change her polarity and promote
-her spirit and govern her temper and appetites, by a man who was
-governed by anything but himself.
-
-New York. She had hardly dared to look at it on the way from the train
-to Washington Square, where the street car had put her down. She had
-come to Washington Square because one of the boys who studied with her
-father had said it was the best place to live in all the big town--the
-cheapest and friendliest and quietest.... It appeared all true, but
-Miss Claes wasn’t like a rooming-house landlady; quite different, in
-fact, and astonishing.
-
-“I could hear her talk about New York, forever,” Pidge said half aloud,
-and this was a remark of considerable force from one who had known the
-maiming of many words.
-
-Presently she would go out and look at New York again; walk about a
-bit, keeping a mental string tied to this green house. Besides she had
-to rent a typewriter, but there was no rush. It was delicious sitting
-here alone in the gloom of midday, making the place her own, locked
-in--a chance at last to take a look at herself and see what she was
-made of and think of what she was here for.
-
-There was a mirror. It wasn’t cracked, according to tradition, but its
-surface had frozen over in a high wind. Everything waved, eternally
-waved. It gave the sense of air in the room, and made one look mended.
-Pidge hoped she would never shed tears in that mirror. Once she had
-caught herself weeping, and she looked so abysmal that she was almost
-frightened out of the habit. With these waves added---- Pidge took off
-her hat and flipped it over on the cot. Her head didn’t look natural,
-but that wasn’t all the mirror’s fault. One of the things she had
-wanted to do for months was to make her hair a shade redder than it
-was. Of course, she hadn’t dared at home, and she couldn’t manage it on
-the train, but there had been six hours to wait in Chicago and a small
-hotel room that frightened her yet. She had emerged from that room a
-different shade, so Chicago meant henna and rain and a frightful hotel.
-It would always be so. She had been against landing in New York one
-color and then changing. She had wanted to start life new in New York
-and keep it straight, an absolutely new page, a new book.
-
-Her reddened hair waved. It made her face look whiter, and brought out
-a red tint to her wool dress that had been brown as apple-butter before.
-
-Everything about her was tired. If she took off her new shoes she
-was afraid she would never get them on again to-day, and she had to
-think of renting that typewriter. A little later, she sat up straight,
-because through the wall from the next room back came the buzz of a
-machine. She listened with a thrill. It stopped and went on--unequal
-stops and buzzes of rapid typing for several minutes; then a long
-sustained buzz, until a sheet was changed. No commercial typewriting.
-That was “creative” stuff, as her father would say--a word she had
-vowed never to use. At least, some one in there was doing a letter.
-
-All this was before noon on an October day in the good year of 1913,
-before anything ever happened to anybody.
-
-
-
-
-II
-
-THE COLORED MAN
-
- Once there was an old sculptor who had apprentices. Townsfolk were
- invited on a certain day to look at the work of the young men. One
- of the apprentices was greatly worried by the faulty light of the
- shop in which his exhibit was placed. He complained about it to his
- master, who is said to have answered in these terms: “Never mind,
- son, about the light here. It is the light of the public square that
- tells the story.”
-
-
-RICHARD COBDEN was twenty-one in 1910, and fresh from his university,
-when he took his first job as reader in the editorial office of _The
-Public Square_, a weekly magazine of opinion and protest and qualified
-patriotism. This was the publication of old John Higgins, at one time
-one of the highest-priced editorial writers in New York; but Higgins’
-views had become more and more strenuous, instead of mollifying with
-the years, the end of which is to publish for one’s self or subside.
-Even in _The Public Square_ he found himself under a pull. He wanted
-a living out of his magazine, but did not expect to make money. He
-occasionally drank himself ill for a day or two. One of his aspirations
-was to publish a distinguished short story in each issue, the shorter
-the better.
-
-“But there aren’t fifty a year,” he frequently said. “There aren’t
-ten, but we get two or three of them.”
-
-Richard Cobden came of a well-established New York family of merchants
-and manufacturers. There was no traceable connection, so far as the
-family knew, with the English Cobdens, of whom there had been a brave
-Richard of free trade and free speech. Dicky’s great-grandfather was
-the Richard Cobden who first made the Cobden trowel, hand-forged in a
-little shop up Yonkers way, and made it so well that stone masons used
-to drive from far in back country to his shop. The Cobdens had made and
-dealt in hardware ever since, but the trowel was the Cobden _cachet_.
-
-Dicky was now twenty-four. His eyes were strong and so were his
-enthusiasms. These strengths stood him in good stead against the vast
-masses of evil typing and the revelations of human frailty contained
-in a myriad manuscript attempts. There was a mere screen between his
-desk and the desk of John Higgins. One winter afternoon, Dicky was
-interrupted by talk between the chief and the office boy:
-
-“That colored guy in the reception room won’t go ’way,” the boy said.
-
-“What guy is that?” Higgins asked.
-
-“The one I told you about two hours ago when you came back from lunch.”
-
-“What does he want?”
-
-“He’s got a story. He says he’ll wait for you.”
-
-“What’s his name?”
-
-“It ain’t a natcherl name. He says the name doesn’t matter--that you
-don’t know him, anyway.”
-
-“Tell him to leave his manuscript.”
-
-“He won’t. Every little while he pulls up his sock.”
-
-“Let him sit a bit longer. It’s a regular park bench out there,
-anyway----”
-
-It was the dragging sock that attracted Dicky Cobden--a bit of mindless
-art on the part of the office boy that somehow aroused the young man
-by the dreary manuscript pile. Dicky’s world was now full of people
-who thought they had the story of the age; people who wanted to see
-the publisher himself; people afraid to trust their manuscripts to the
-mails; a world of such, coming up through great tribulation, but only
-here and there a dragging sock. He took a chance now and volunteered
-to Higgins to clear that bit of seat space in the reception room, if
-possible.
-
-A dark-faced young man arose to meet him outside. Tired--that was
-the word that bored into Cobden’s mind with new meaning. There was
-something potent in the weariness of the black eyes, a deadly sort of
-patience that rarely goes with brilliance. Dicky was slightly above
-medium height. The other’s eyes were level with his own. The hanging
-sock was not in evidence, but Dicky felt that the stranger didn’t dare
-to move fast, for fear his clothes would break.
-
-“Yet he feels clean,” he thought, “yet he feels clean.” This was
-important enough to repeat.
-
-“I have a story----”
-
-“Your name?”
-
-“It is Naidu--but not known.”
-
-“Are you from India?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Why not let us have your story to read?”
-
-“It must be read now.”
-
-“This sort of thing isn’t done while one waits, you know.”
-
-“I’m afraid this one will have to be done so.”
-
-“Why, even if it’s promising,” Dicky declared severely, “it would have
-to be read several times.”
-
-“I’ll wait.”
-
-“But we have hundreds----”
-
-“I know--may I not see the chief editor?”
-
-Mr. Naidu turned slowly back to the bench, as if to resume his seat.
-
-“You win,” Dicky slowly said. “I’ll take the story and read it now,
-though I’m only a deck hand. If it looks good enough, I’ll try to get
-Mr. Higgins to look----”
-
-Five minutes after that, Dicky was deep in South Africa. Six thousand
-words in neat but faded typing, called _The Little Man_, about a
-diminutive Hindu person who appeared to have no other business in life
-but to stand up for the under dog. This person would fight anything,
-but the British Government was about the size of a foe he liked best--a
-cheerful story of most shocking suffering, which the Little Man took
-upon himself for the natives of Natal--no, not the natives, but for
-the Hindu laborers who had come to Africa to settle. A clear, burning
-patience through the pages; everything was carried in solution--all one
-breath, sustained. It wasn’t writing. It was living. It slid on with a
-soft inevitable rhythm, and it took Dicky along.
-
-More than this, he saw in the story--or in the great stillness which
-the story brought him--something of the sort of thing he meant to write
-some day. Nothing exactly like this, of course, but the achievement
-of this unfettered ease. It made him want to start out at once to
-find the Little Man. It made him hear from Africa something like a
-personal call. He let himself dream for a moment. Wouldn’t it be
-great, his mind-made picture ran, when he had done a real story of
-his own--wouldn’t it be great to deliver it like this (or perhaps
-sockless) and make it sell itself? Halfway through, he arose and
-dumped the sheets he had read before Higgins’ spectacles, saying with
-slow-measured calm:
-
-“She breathes. She’s a leaping trout!”
-
-“Get out,” said Higgins softly.
-
-“That’s only half,” said Cobden.
-
-“Where’s the rest?”
-
-“I’ve got it in there--not read yet.”
-
-“And you bring this to me?”
-
-“He’s waiting. This story will finish itself. I know it will march
-straight.”
-
-While he read the second half, Dicky heard Higgins thresh and mutter,
-and finally call for the rest--old sore-eyed Higgins, who knew a story
-when he saw one, who had read his eyes out on poor stories looking for
-the Story of the Age....
-
-Dicky went back to the reception room.
-
-“I’ve read it. Mr. Higgins is reading it now. I think he’ll want
-it, Mr. Naidu. If you leave your address, we’ll mail you an offer
-to-morrow----”
-
-“I will take two hundred dollars for the story, but I must have the
-money to-day.”
-
-Dicky laughed quietly. “I’m afraid the countingroom won’t appreciate
-that. Countingroom’s not adaptable. It’s intricate, in fact; checks
-signed and countersigned.... Besides your price is severe for
-us--unknown name and all that. Oh, it’s not too much, only for us, you
-know.”
-
-All the time he talked, Dicky knew Mr. Naidu would get his money,
-and get it to-day. A man with a story like this could get anything.
-He could write it on wood chips and bring the manuscript in a gunny
-sack....
-
-“I’ll give him my personal check,” he told Higgins, a moment later.
-“The office can reimburse me.”
-
-“I always forget you have a piece of change in your own name,” Higgins
-remarked indulgently. “Don’t ever let it interfere with your work,
-Dicky.”
-
-“My work to-day is to get that manuscript in our vault. Later,” he
-added to himself, “my work is to write a story as good as that.”
-
-“He might take less than two hundred----” John Higgins suggested in
-uncertain tone.
-
-“I can’t bring that up--again,” Dicky said.
-
-“I couldn’t either,” said the editor. “Maybe we are both crazy with the
-heat--steam heat. But I’ll stand by and see that you get your money.
-You’ll have to go out with him to get cash on your personal check.”
-
-Dicky and Mr. Naidu were in the street. It was too late for the bank,
-but the son of the trowel makers found a friend of the family with
-currency. A rainy dusk in Twenty-third Street near the Avenue, when he
-took Mr. Naidu’s hand, having turned over the money.
-
-“I have your address, I may hunt you up. You won’t forget _The Public
-Square_, when you have another story as good as this?”
-
-“Oh, no,” said the Hindu, “nor you, Mr. Cobden. Good-by.”
-
-Dicky turned to look after him. He reflected that he hadn’t even
-learned if Mr. Naidu were hungry. He wished he had given him his
-umbrella. He felt a curious desire to follow; a sense vague, as yet,
-that his way, the way of his Big Story, lay after the Oriental, and not
-back toward the office.
-
-
-
-
-III
-
-A FISH OMELET
-
-
-SNOW had drifted into the outer basement stairway of the green house,
-and there was a thin frosty bar inside the door of the basement hall.
-Miss Claes opened the door and looked out through the iron railings
-to the street. Snow was six inches deep and still falling. She took
-a deep breath appreciatively, as if she found some faint exquisite
-scent in the cold air. Presently she began sweeping at the doorway,
-and continued up the stone steps to the walk. Her arms and throat were
-bare, and the dark gray dress that she wore was of wool but the fabric
-very thin. Apparently Miss Claes chose to enjoy the chill of the winter
-morning. When she returned to her living room, the fire in the grate
-had been started and a small cup of black coffee was on the table. She
-sipped thoughtfully and then lit a cigarette, which she half finished,
-standing by the fireplace.
-
-The kindling had ignited the soft coal, but not without having shot out
-a spray of cinders over the cement hearth. Miss Claes swept the hearth
-unhurriedly. A cabinet of dishes across the room from the fireplace
-was full of color now from the light of the coals--vivid greens and
-bronzes, pomegranate reds. At length, she opened the door to the
-kitchen, where an Oriental stood by the big range.
-
-“May I serve your breakfast?” he asked.
-
-“Put it on a tray with something for Pidge. I’ll take it upstairs and
-perhaps she’ll join me. The child starves.”
-
-“Not in this house----”
-
-“She’s troublesome to do anything for, Nagar. She rebels against
-accepting any favor. I think she must have been forced to accept many
-favors from people outside, when she lived with her father. Was there a
-bit of boiled halibut left from last night?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“We’ll make a little omelet with a few flakes of fish in it. I’m sure
-she isn’t getting any money from her father, but she has kept up her
-rent in advance. Did she work all night?”
-
-“Her room was quiet after two, until I came down. Then I heard her
-typewriter as I swept the upper hall.”
-
-“It seems to be a race, Nagar, between the child and her book--which
-will finish the other? I love her spirit, but she isn’t taking care
-of herself.... Yes, we’ll put in these asparagus tips.... I think Mr.
-Musser believes that the world owes him a living, but finds it hard to
-collect, sometimes, with only metaphysics to offer. And now Pidge has
-flung herself to the opposite extreme; talks of earning her living in a
-factory, when her book is done. She’s a living protest against talking
-and not doing. We must be very good to her, Nagar.”
-
-Miss Claes brought a little creamy porcelain urn, and held it for him
-to fill with coffee from the larger pot. Nagar held the door open for
-her into the basement hall. A moment later on the top floor, she tapped
-at the second last door on the left. Pidge sat at her machine under the
-gaslight beyond the head of the cot.
-
-“I can’t make their swords play!” she moaned. “All my swords are stiff
-as shinny sticks. The trouble is, I don’t know men, Miss Claes--not red
-animal men like they should be in this story. I know pussy men. I know
-pious men, salvey and wormy men, monks and mummies and monsters, but I
-don’t know honest-to-God _men_! Here they are taunting each other as
-they stab, and their talk sounds--like Shakespeare! Oh, dear, you’ve
-brought me more coffee and eats!”
-
-“I won’t touch your papers, Pidge, but if you take them off the cot,
-I’ll put the tray between us. I haven’t had breakfast.”
-
-Pidge turned the roller of her typemill down so that the most recent
-literary revelation might not appear to a roving eye. Then she
-crisscrossed different packages of manuscript, placed the mass face
-down before the waving glass, and moved the oil stove aside so she
-could pass to her place on the cot.
-
-“You always forget to bring your coffeepot down to the range, Pidge----”
-
-The girl turned back to her typemachine. “He’s a jealous old devil when
-I leave the room,” she said. “I think the person who rented him before
-I did addressed envelopes all day--kept cranking him back and forth
-against time. Now I ride a little ways--then let him stop and browse.
-We ramble----”
-
-Pidge stopped. Her eyes looked dry and smarting, as if tears were on
-the verge.
-
-“Oh, Miss Claes,” she went on, “I’m just as crazy as that--I mean my
-figures of speech! Cranking him back and forth, and in the same breath
-letting him stop and browse. I wish you wouldn’t bring me this stuff
-any more. The coffee’s so good that it hurts--and the eggs. I always
-cry when I’m hurt.”
-
-“But, Pidge, think what a privilege it is for me to climb from the
-heart of New York to eighteenth-century France, and not leave the
-house----”
-
-“But you find a twisted cubist sort of France--part Dumas, part Mexican
-Plaza, Los Angeles, and the rest _me_!”
-
-“At least, you’re not carried away with the idea that it’s perfect.”
-
-Pidge regarded the other’s face closely. She could see with uncanny
-clearness in this little dark room where she had struggled night and
-day for nearly three months; but what she saw now, or was looking for,
-she hardly knew herself. Her own face was spooky from sleepless strain.
-
-“I’m eating shamelessly,” she said.
-
-A moment later, she pointed to the rear wall, and whispered the
-question:
-
-“Has Nagar stopped writing? I haven’t raced typewriters with him
-lately.”
-
-“He hasn’t spoken of changing his work. Did you hear that New York has
-touched him with her magic?” Miss Claes asked.
-
-“What do you mean?”
-
-“He has sold a story--a short story for two hundred dollars to _The
-Public Square_.”
-
-“Nagar--your servant?”
-
-“He isn’t my servant, Pidge. He just lives here and works with me.”
-
-There was a clicking dryness to the girl’s tongue, as she asked:
-
-“And now is he going away? You said they always do when they strike it
-rich.”
-
-“Oh, no. Nagar wouldn’t leave for a little story success. But nobody
-quite knows Nagar--nobody.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-Pidge was alone. _The Lance of the Rivernais_ was pricking at her to
-get back to work, but she resisted for a few minutes, thinking of Miss
-Claes.
-
-“... She may be crazy, but she’s good to look at,” she muttered. “I
-believe she can look into me, too.... I wonder what she is?... She
-may be crazy, but she’s kind! And, oh, I’m so tired,” she yawned a
-moment later. “I’d like--I’d like to be a leaf in the park under the
-snow--still snowing, and sleep till spring. Only I’d like some roast
-turkey first.”
-
-The recent breakfast had an extraordinary flavor, but it was all
-too dainty for one who had eaten little or nothing since yesterday
-morning. Her mind trailed off to buns she had seen in bakery windows;
-and delicatessen stores with opened sausages, big as one’s head and
-colored like tapestries, and little brown birds and deviled eggs, and
-sliced filets of fish of amazing tint.
-
-All meats had been anathema in the house of Mr. Adolph Musser. Pidge
-had lived in no other house in all her years, before coming to New
-York, but since then, she had shocked her young self through various
-experiments among the fleshpots of Greenwich. Not so various, for the
-narrowness of her purse was ever a limp fact, but these few flavory
-adventures were exciting and memorable. There was a tap of a finger
-nail upon the panel.
-
-“A letter, Miss Musser,” Nagar said.
-
-She looked at the Hindu with different eyes from ever before. He had
-sold a story. She wanted to speak of it, wanted to sit before him and
-listen--this anomaly, whose typewriter she had sometimes heard through
-the partition, and rarely a low deep hum. She was prejudiced against
-Hindus, because her father had affected such a knowledge of them, but
-somehow she had been less lonely in New York because of this one. He
-was embodied Detachment and Impersonality.... He had turned away.
-
-“Thanks, Nagar,” she called.
-
-The letter was a typewriter bill.
-
-
-
-
-IV
-
-LAMBILL KNOCKS
-
-
-INSIDE the moonlit castle gardens, across the moat into the
-pictured halls, up the marble staircase, driving straight and true,
-Lambill Courtenay, a man of the people--artist, swordsman, lover
-virgin-hearted, rode--no, ran, for once on his sprightly feet, straight
-to a sequestered wing of the ancient and noble castle of the Rivernais,
-and with his ungloved hand touched the knocker of its inner sanctuary.
-
-“Who is there?” came the cry like the thin note of violins.
-
-“I----” swelled the deep orchestral answer of Lambill Courtenay,
-Frenchiest of the French.
-
-Then the great oaken door from the forests of Savoie opened. Lambill
-crossed the threshold. The white arms of Madelaine Rivernais opened and
-the heavens opened also--for the great maze of life had been untangled
-for these two--and Pidge Musser’s book was done.
-
-Just a book--one of the myriads that you see lying around, like
-sloughed snake skins on first or secondhand bookshelves--but it had
-been properly wept on and starved for and toiled over, as only youth in
-its abandonment can toil for its own ends. It had almost been prayed
-for, but not quite. Prayer wasn’t easy for Pidge Musser’s defiant soul.
-
-It was two in the morning. The oil stove smelled as if it were dying.
-Of late the wick had hiked up out of the oil a little earlier each
-night like a waxing moon, and Pidge had been forced to shake the oil
-around to keep the flame. Miss Claes and Nagar did so much for her, she
-was ashamed; and you could get a red apple for the price of a wick.
-
-Pidge coughed. It was the most astonishing and cavernous bark. The
-silence afterward was painful. She fancied she was keeping _him_
-awake--the silent, dark and courteous Nagar, who did prodigies of work
-every day and was always willing to do more, and who had come into
-Pidge’s direct limelight since his sale of a story to _The Public
-Square_. Pidge hadn’t known a cold for years. It actually amazed her,
-how unclean it made her feel, and ashamed to have anybody come near.
-
-“I’m going to watch over you very closely, Pidge--you’ll have to
-let me, now that the book is done,” Miss Claes said in the morning,
-“because it’s really a shock to stop work after the way you have
-carried on. The drive--suddenly stopping, you know.”
-
-“I wonder how she knows?” Pidge thought to herself for the thousandth
-time in regard to the subtle capacities of Miss Claes.
-
-“I’m tough,” she said aloud.
-
-“That is a true saying, Pidge. On that, everything hinges. Am I to hear
-the story?”
-
-“It would--it must be read aloud. It’s terrible to ask, but will you?”
-
-“I’ve wanted to hear it from the beginning. Now tell me, would you like
-Nagar to listen, too?”
-
-“Oh, no!”
-
-“Just as you like. Only you’re offering it to the world later----”
-
-“But Nagar _knows_.”
-
-“That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
-
-“Oh, yes, but----”
-
-“He won’t say a word. Nagar rarely talks, except to answer questions.
-But, of course, don’t think of it, if you’d rather not.”
-
-“What is Nagar?” Pidge asked suddenly.
-
-“Just a watcher and listener in America, learning to see things
-impersonally.”
-
-Pidge contemplated the idea for a few seconds; then her eyes hardened.
-“I’ve heard lots of talk about the impersonal--oh, talk to the skies
-about the impersonal life in Los Angeles--by people who haven’t yet got
-a personality!”
-
-Miss Claes bent in low laughter.
-
-“They start in killing out personality before they get a live one,”
-Pidge added sullenly.
-
-“They do, my dear, but have you heard any words about the impersonal
-life from Nagar?”
-
-“No. That’s the best thing about him--that he doesn’t explain himself.
-But I hate mysteries about Hindus--hate people moving about saying,
-‘Shh-sh’--finger on their lips, trying to astonish you with something
-they can’t tell. I’m so tired of all that!”
-
-“Still you asked me about Nagar, though really there is nothing to say,
-except that he is good to have in the house.”
-
-“I think I’ll let him come and hear the reading, if he’s willing.”
-
-“Good,” said Miss Claes. “We will listen in this room, where the story
-came to be.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-... Nagar sat in a straight chair, in the aisle between the cot and the
-wall. Pidge sat by the window before her machine. Miss Claes lay on the
-cot with her head under the light that Pidge read by, and away they
-went. There was an hour or more in the early afternoon when both Miss
-Claes and her helper could escape from below, and two hours, at least,
-after nine in the evening--this for three days.
-
-Pidge was fagged and ill and frightfully scared. She would begin
-hoarsely, and for pages in each reading her cold in the head was
-an obstruction hard to pass; besides, she felt she was boring them
-horribly and that all the massed effects of her pages dithered away
-into nothing or worse. But a moment came in each of the six sessions,
-when the last monster of the mind’s outer darkness was passed. And
-then, for Pidge, at least, knighthood rose resplendent; days became
-stately, indeed, and chivalry bloomed again. At such times the dark
-gleaming hair of Miss Claes--which Pidge could have touched with her
-hand, became the tresses of Madelaine Rivernais herself, and a little
-back to the right in the deep shadows, the face of the Easterner there
-took on the magic and glamour of Lambill’s own. The vineyards of old
-France stretched beyond from their balcony; the rivers of France flowed
-below. The lance of the Rivernais was won back heroically and human
-hearts opened to the drama of love and life.
-
-But on the last night of the reading, after the self-consciousness was
-passed and all was going well, Pidge, glancing down to Miss Claes’
-head under the light, saw gray for the first time, in the depths of
-her hair. It hadn’t been combed with any purpose of hiding. The outer
-strands were coal black, the strands beneath had turned. This discovery
-had the peculiar effect of changing everything around in Pidge’s mind
-in the moments that followed.
-
-She couldn’t get into the story as before; and in the very last pages
-of her reading, a face persistently crowded in between her mind’s
-eye and the rapid flow of the story at its end--a long, humorless
-complacent face--the high-browed, self-willed and self-thrilled face
-of her father. It was as if he were reading and not herself; reading
-with rising expectation, drinking in the silent praise, as if he had
-done the writing himself and loved it well. So effectually was Pidge
-mastered by this apparition of her own mind, that the last pages of the
-manuscript were spoiled entirely. The light had gone out of her and she
-said hastily, as the final page was turned down:
-
-“I know how kind you are, but please don’t try to tell me anything
-to-night. Not a word, please!”
-
-There was something in Nagar’s smile as he turned and went out that she
-knew she would remember again.
-
-“I quite understand,” said Miss Claes, when they were alone. “But say,
-Pidge, I do want to say this. To-morrow afternoon, Mr. Richard Cobden,
-an editor of _The Public Square_, is coming here to see Nagar. He is
-the one who put through Nagar’s story. We’re to have tea at four.
-You’ll come down, won’t you?”
-
-“Why, yes, of course.”
-
-“It might be arranged for Mr. Cobden to look at your book. Would you
-like that?”
-
-“Ye-es.”
-
-“Do you mind if I suggest something?”
-
-“Please,” said Pidge.
-
-“Don’t let Mr. Cobden know, just yet, that you are the one who has
-written the story. Write a new title-page without the name of the
-author.”
-
-“All right, but----”
-
-“It’s because you look like such a child, Pidge. No one would be able
-to see all that’s in your story--if they saw what a child you are!”
-
-“I’ll do as you say. Thank you, but, Miss Claes----”
-
-“Yes?”
-
-“To-night under the light, I saw your hair--underneath!”
-
-“Yes?”
-
-“It made me see everything differently for a minute. You know I hate
-cults and everything that apes India and talks about saving the world;
-everybody talking about their souls, but doing the same old secret
-selfish things--oh, I’ve almost died of talk about all that--but for a
-minute, to-night under the lamp, it seemed that you knew, but had come
-down to brass tacks--your feet on the ground--living like the rest of
-us, but not ‘falling for’ love or money or fame, as we are. Are you
-really through talking about service--just doing it?”
-
-Miss Claes laughed. “Such a lot of words, Pidge--about some gray hair.”
-
-Pidge was intensely serious. “Are you English?” she began again.
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“I know you’ve been in India. Miss Claes--are you really farther along
-than I thought? Are you trying for that impersonal thing--trying to
-belong to everybody--to enter the stream of humanity, as they call it?”
-
-“Of course, I’m trying, Pidge.”
-
-“You and Nagar working together?”
-
-“Yes, but you and I are working together, too.”
-
-Pidge was not to be turned aside by generalities.
-
-“You--down here in lower New York--keeping a rooming house?”
-
-“Why not?”
-
-“Nothing--only it’s so big, so unexpected. I’ve always believed ’way
-down deep that a real person wouldn’t be long-haired or barefooted or
-pious, but lost in the crowd something like that--quietly efficient,
-moving here and there among people unannounced, only a few ever
-dreaming! Oh, it’s too, too big!”
-
-“Don’t try to believe anything, Pidge.”
-
-“I’ve been spoiled for believing anything, by so much talk!”
-
-“Don’t try to settle things ahead of time,” Miss Claes repeated
-laughingly. “Let the days--each day tell its story. I’m just living out
-life as you are.... And now undress and get into bed. I know you’re
-too tired to sleep, but I’m going to fix you in and open your window
-and put out your light, and sit with you for a minute, perhaps in the
-dark. You’re just to rest--a tired little girl--and not even hear me go
-away.”
-
-
-
-
-V
-
-LUNCHEON AT SHARPE’S
-
-
-RICHARD COBDEN and John Higgins were lunching at Sharpe’s Chop House.
-It was one-thirty, and at the height of the day’s business. The tables
-were packed close.
-
-“You were telling me about that Asiatic landlady down in the Village,”
-Higgins said, lifting his spectacles to wipe his red-rimmed eyes.
-
-“I wasn’t telling you much,” said Dicky. “She’s too deep for me--looks
-to thrive on coffee and cigarettes--eyes that have seen too much, a
-lot of laughter in them, but no hope.... And what would you think of
-a basement room, with flowers in winter and a fireplace with hickory
-embers, a Byzantine jar in the corner and a cabinet of porcelain which
-I haven’t seen the like of on this side?”
-
-“Go on--don’t mind me,” said John Higgins.
-
-“... Little old Harrow Street,” Dicky mused. “Harrow Street curves,
-you know. There is quite a mass of rooming houses on each side, and
-number Fifty-four, with a green front, is Miss Claes’ house. And our
-Mr. Naidu works there with his hands; only they call him Nagar in that
-house--spelled with an ‘a’ but pronounced ‘nog.’... By the way, he
-told me twice, yesterday, that it isn’t a fiction story we’ve bought,
-but a handling of things that actually happened in Africa--Little Man
-an actual human being named Gandhi or something of the sort.”
-
-“Can’t be done. Fiction and life are different,” said John Higgins.
-
-Dicky resumed: “Some of Miss Claes’ lodgers happened in for the tea
-party. No one barred apparently. I must have seen most of the houseful:
-couple of girl-pals; one works in a restaurant to support the other
-who is to become a prima donna; a couple of decayed vaudeville artists
-looking for a legacy--a regular houseful, but I don’t believe all of
-them pay, as they would have to in other houses.”
-
-“Landlady supports those who can’t?”
-
-“That’s the way I see it. The green front in Harrow Street took hold
-of me. I must have stayed over two hours. Our Mr. Naidu made some
-coffee to go with that cabinet of porcelain. Also there was a little
-girl--from Los Angeles, I think they said--red head, brown wool dress
-and eyes of a blue you see on illumined vellum out of Italy----”
-
-“Some cerulean,” said John Higgins.
-
-“They weren’t large, particularly,” Dicky went on at his literary
-best, “but that extraordinary blue like the ocean. Ruffled on top, but
-calm and still in the depth! Never saw such eyes. They come back to me
-now----”
-
-“They do to me, Dicky.”
-
-“You’re not getting all I mean, John. Uptown here, we think we’re
-the center of the world, the heart of New York yanking up toward the
-Park--but down there those old rooming houses are filling up with the
-boys and girls from all the States west, and the second growths from
-the families of European immigrants--filling up because they are cheap,
-with the boys and girls who will do the surgery ten years from now, and
-the painting and writing and acting----”
-
-“I’ve heard about all that,” said John Higgins. “You’ll do a big story
-yourself one day.”
-
-“I’m not so sure of it, since yesterday. I couldn’t take their chances.
-I couldn’t sit down and do a novel and not know how I was going to
-eat my way through. I couldn’t scrub tenement-house floors for the
-privilege of writing a book.... Oh, I love books all right. I rise up
-and yell when a big short story comes in the office, or breaks out
-anywhere. I think I know a real one, but a man’s got to do a whole
-lot of appreciating before he gets to doing. I’m not bred somehow as
-those people are. I’m the first of the Cobdens to break out of trade.
-They call _me_ a dreamer, my people do--yet compared to those boys and
-girls in Harrow Street, I’m a basket of fish with only a wiggle at the
-bottom----”
-
-“Get out,” said John Higgins. “The first thing you know, you’ll be
-going down there again.”
-
-“I will,” said Dicky. “I’m going down there to live.”
-
-“Eh?”
-
-The younger man nodded seriously. “They’re crazy, perhaps, but I’m
-convinced from yesterday of one thing: One can’t be sane as I am, and
-ever find the Big Story, much less write it.”
-
-“Therefore the first thing to do is to go insane.”
-
-“It isn’t like that,” Dicky said gently. “I’ve been brought up to think
-I know New York, belong and breathe in New York. You see, my family
-has lived here a hundred years. But yesterday I saw New York for the
-first time. She isn’t an old Dutch frump, as we thought, John. She’s a
-damsel! She’s a new moon----”
-
-“Blue eyes?” said John Higgins.
-
-“No, that’s the little girl from Los Angeles. It’s the landlady, of
-course, who’s the spirit of the place. I figured out afterward that it
-was because she was there that I liked everybody and had a good time.
-Wouldn’t be surprised to hear she was a priestess of some sort. I asked
-if she were Hindu, and she said ‘Yes,’ but she talks as if she were out
-of an English convent. Of course, most of her lodgers don’t get her.
-One old actor, out of a job, leaned across the table to me yesterday
-when Miss Claes left the room. He tapped his forehead, whispering,
-‘Lovely, eh, but got the Ophelias.’”
-
-“Is she young?” John Higgins asked presently.
-
-“Moreover,” Dicky added, lost in thought, “I believe Miss Claes knows
-that they think her cracked and doesn’t mind.... Young? Say, I don’t
-know, John. You don’t think of her with years, somehow--rather as one
-who has reached the top of herself and decided to stay there.”
-
-John Higgins leaned back, drained his coffee cup and stared with eyes
-that smarted at the steaming ceiling. “Is Naidu going to do us another
-story?”
-
-“We didn’t get to that, but they gave me a novel manuscript to read.”
-
-“His?”
-
-“No, I didn’t get it straight whose it was. Miss Claes handed it over,
-suggesting I look at it for a serial. Some one in the house had written
-it or left it there.”
-
-“We’d better be going back to the office. Have you read into the novel?”
-
-“Started, but didn’t get really going. It’s back-age France stuff, and
-I was a little lost last night on the subject of 54 Harrow Street.”
-
-“You’re a little lost yet, Dicky, I should say--for a Cobden.... So
-you’re going to lead a double life? Rich young New Yorker, quarters in
-Fiftieth Street under the eaves of St. Patrick’s, vanishing into life
-down in Greenwich.”
-
-Dicky’s eyes were keen with memory.
-
-
-
-
-VI
-
-ENTER, FANNY GALLUP
-
-
-_THE Lance of the Rivernais_ had been in the editorial rooms of _The
-Public Square_ for almost a month, but there had been no report;
-not the slightest mention, in fact, though author and editor were
-frequently together. Richard Cobden had come to 54 Harrow Street to
-live for the larger part of each week. Pidge had gone to work in a
-tin-can factory up Lenox way, pasting labels. She was half sick from
-fatigue from the new work and from keeping the secret about her book.
-In the days that followed the finishing of the _Lance_, it was as if
-her whole body and brain had been a scaffold or matrix for the story,
-and it had been taken from her, leaving a galvanism useless as an
-eggshell, a sort of afterbirth that persisted in staying alive.
-
-... There was Fanny Gallup, who sat at her right, elbow to elbow at the
-pasting bench--Fanny of the intermittent pungencies of scent and the
-dreary muck of talk about boys and boys and boys. Fanny was a child
-and woman all in one, about Pidge’s age and size, one whom you could
-fancy had been a stringy street-kid a year or two ago. But just now,
-Fanny was in her brief bloom, red in her lips, a lift to her scant
-breast, the earth driving into her and overflowing with such color and
-fertility as it could.
-
-For eight hours a day, Pidge dwelt in Fanny’s frequently tropical
-aura--hateful, yet marveling. The thing that amazed her was that Fanny
-loved life so, loved the feel of her own hands when she rubbed them
-together, loved the taste of sweets and the memory of last night’s
-kisses--loved fearlessly and without reserve, not a pang of dread for
-what was to come, nor a shudder of regret for what had happened to her
-mother or sisters or the other girls of Foley Street. Never a thought
-in Fanny’s head that she was being hoaxed by Nature; that her body was
-being livened and rounded, her face edged and tinted, for an inexorable
-purpose; not a suspicion that she was being played for, and must
-presently produce.
-
-Fanny lived her brief hour to the full, and Pidge Musser suffered and
-revolted for two. Pidge took the dreary monotone of talk into her soul,
-as she had taken her father’s, knowing that one day she would be full.
-
-“Oh, you Musser,” Fanny would say. “Why don’t you come over to Foley
-Street?... You’re dryin’ up, Redhead. What do you do nights? What do
-you do all the time, thinkin’ and listnin’?... Where’s your fulluh,
-Redhead? Ain’t got one--wot? Little liar. You’re bad, you are, because
-you’re so still.... Come on over to Foley Street to-night. I’ll let you
-have a peep at Albert, m’li’l barber--just one peep, Redhead--not too
-close. I ain’t sure of him yet, but I’ll let you have one look--aw come
-on!”
-
-So it was through the hours, pasting apricot labels, lobster,
-asparagus, pimento, peach, and codfish labels. More and more Fanny’s
-boys and men folded into one, whose name was Albert.
-
-“I’m gettin’ him goin’--goin’, goin’. Psst! an’ he comes!” Fanny would
-say. “But I wouldn’t trust him to you, Musser--not longer than a
-hairpin, dam’ little party, you.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-Miss Claes was observing with some concern the result of her suggestion
-to Pidge, not to let the young editor know the _Lance_ was hers.
-
-“If it hadn’t been for my tampering, she would have heard about her
-book before this,” she said to Nagar. “Pidge looked so young, I felt
-it would prejudice Mr. Cobden against her work. He’s fascinated with
-Harrow Street, but seems to have no time or thought for a romance of
-eighteenth-century France! Yet he would have put through her book in
-a week, if he knew, seeing the story with the same eyes he sees the
-author.”
-
-“And she doesn’t tell him?”
-
-“No. That’s our Pidge, Nagar. I even suggested that I would speak to
-him--let the truth slip out. She caught me in her hands, those hard
-little hands, strong as a peasant’s, ‘Not for worlds, Miss Claes!’ she
-breathed, and there was a patch of white intensity across her upper
-lip, ‘Not for worlds!’”
-
-“... Of course, I mean to write,” Pidge had granted to Dicky in the
-very beginning. “I’ve always meant to write, since the day I learned
-that print wasn’t done above the clouds somehow, like Moses’ tablets,
-and had to be written all out first by human beings. But I’m not ready
-to begin----” and she silently added the word “again” for her own
-composure.
-
-“But they tell me on my floor when you first came, you hammered a
-typemill day and night. Was it commercial work?” Dicky asked.
-
-“It was _not_,” said Pidge, with such emphasis that she felt her secret
-endangered again and hastened to add, “That was before I started to
-work in the factory. Likely they heard Nagar’s machine part of the
-time.”
-
-“But you seem to know yarns--like one who works with them--tries to do
-them, I mean,” he remarked.
-
-Her face was flushed. Evasion irritated and diminished her. She coldly
-explained her father’s professional interest in the short story.
-
-“He isn’t an artist, but he teaches how, you know,” she finished.
-
-Dicky pondered long on how much Pidge meant by this. He had been
-brought up to revere his parents. Surely, he thought, she must know
-that one can’t be taught except by life itself to do a real story.
-
-One rainy Sunday forenoon in February, they were sitting together in
-his “parlor,” the front of his two rooms on the second floor. This room
-opened through a single door to the main hall, and through folding
-doors to his sleeping quarters. Dicky had brought some few additional
-furnishings from his mother’s house in East Fiftieth Street. The place
-made Pidge feel uncomfortable, but Miss Claes’ basement front was often
-in use and subject to constant interruption.
-
-“I want to read you something I’ve brought from the office,” Dicky
-said. “I’m not saying a word--until afterward.”
-
-It was a little story called _Dr. Filter_, by an unknown young
-man, named Rufus Melton. It had come to _The Public Square_ among
-the unsolicited manuscripts. Pidge listened with extraordinary
-restlessness. She seemed to know so much about this story, its
-processes and the thing it told, that her mind was unpleasantly
-crowded. It wasn’t a matter of like or dislike. _Dr. Filter_ was here
-in the world, a live thing. It had to be met and dealt with.
-
-“Not more than once a year, one comes in as live as this,” Dicky said.
-“Yet it’s like something from a different world from Nagar’s Little Man
-story.”
-
-“It isn’t whether you like _Dr. Filter_, or not, but you can’t get away
-from it--like a relative who comes to live in your house,” said Pidge.
-
-“That’s a center shot,” Dicky thoughtfully remarked.
-
-She found herself asking about Rufus Melton. Dicky didn’t know much,
-but was intensely pleased over her reaction to his latest artistic
-find.... Pidge never lacked opinions, even verdicts, nor the energy
-to express them when Dicky was around. They forgot Rufus Melton, and
-out-generaled time in discussing Miss Claes.
-
-“Every little while as she talks, I feel as if I were going through a
-tunnel,” he said. “Of course, I admire her, and all that, but sometimes
-I can’t help asking myself, like the others, if she is really right----”
-
-“The more ignorant one is, the more crazy he thinks Miss Claes,” Pidge
-observed.
-
-“Another bull’s-eye. Wait till I set up the target again, Pidge. But is
-it because she’s Hindu--that she’s so different?”
-
-“She isn’t Hindu. She’s English.”
-
-“I asked her.”
-
-“So did I.”
-
-“She’ll have to referee this herself,” Dicky hastily put in.
-
-Then they were silent awhile, until Pidge said:
-
-“Maybe I heard her wrong. I’m sure she’s had a lot of Hindu training.
-But that’s not what draws me to her. It’s because she’s not taking
-it out in talk. She knows about plumbing and cooking and streets and
-common things. Best of all, she pays her bills!”
-
-But Dicky, who had never known other than financial ease and financial
-integrity, was more interested in the other side of their landlady.
-
-“Can one get books--on her sort of thing?” he asked.
-
-“You’re always getting me into this lately,” Pidge complained. “I don’t
-like to talk about it. I floated up through zones of Hindu stuff from a
-child. Better leave it alone, Dicky. Stay in your head--stay down.”
-
-“What do you mean, ‘Stay in your head,’ please?”
-
-“Any one who amounts to anything stays in his head. He’s not
-complicated by _souls_. All the comfortable, solid world calls you
-absurd for what you say and the way you look, when this Eastern stuff
-starts you going. You get so absorbed that you lose all touch with
-things down here, the things you are really here to do. You stop making
-money and go around saying the Lord will provide. You don’t really let
-Him, you let other people support you and call it God’s work. You call
-yourself the Elect, and yet you can’t do the things that average people
-do. Mainly, you talk. You stop work to talk. You settle heaven and God
-and the soul with talk!... Oh, Dicky, that’s why I hate it all so;
-that’s why I’d rather be a factory girl; that’s why I’m all lame and
-tired about ‘ideals’ and ‘supermen’ and ‘abstractions’--because I’ve
-heard so much talk.... It’s the first thing I remember. Lying in the
-crib--I began to hear my father’s voice.”
-
-“But you’ve got all this stuff, Pidge. That’s what makes you--makes
-you----”
-
-“It is what makes me nothing! It is what keeps me from being an
-honest-to-God mill girl. It is what keeps me from everything that means
-something to other mill girls. It is what keeps me from taking life
-as I find it. It’s what spoils me from really knowing Miss Claes or
-Nagar--or what they are about--because so many words have been dinned
-into my ears before coming to New York.”
-
-The hardest thing on Dicky these days was that Pidge had to work in
-a factory. This thought was never far from the central arena of his
-mind. It chafed and irked. There was very little of the philanderer in
-his breed. Mostly, the Cobdens had chosen their women carefully, after
-long, cool, studious courtship. Having decided, courted and married,
-nothing short of death could break in. Doubtless Dicky’s fidelity
-was as stable as that of his relatives, even though his heart had
-not turned so cautiously to his light of day. Pidge had risen in his
-heavens and possessed them like the rising sun. There were not two suns
-in his system.
-
-He had meant to live lean down in Harrow Street, but his idea of that
-wasn’t native to the locality. His ramifications for keeping clean were
-considerable and very disturbing to Pidge Musser, who had been brought
-up in Southern California to wear a few white garments which she could
-wash herself. Washing was impossible in her room, and wasn’t at all
-easy in the hall below where Miss Claes had told her to get her water.
-
-Dicky Cobden was the first _gentleman_ Pidge had ever known. She had
-met several boys with a streak of genius showing; boys who had come
-to her father to learn how to write and had taken away something, if
-not that. Practically all those boys had been “on a shoe string,”
-and trained to get along without many things that Cobden would have
-considered actual necessities, including an established routine of
-order and cleanliness in one’s person and quarters. Pidge had also
-met many of the “queer” ones of Hollywood and vicinity--men and women
-who ate this way and that, bathed this way and that, in running waters
-and still, in sea waters and rain waters, in mud and sunlight, using
-unctions and ointments, but they were bathing their souls.
-
-Dicky Cobden bathed frequently, carefully, believing beyond cavil that
-New York and the processes of life grimed him on the outside, that life
-itself was a constant war against grime, requiring an ever accessible
-tub, much soap, hot water, changes of clothing, laundry bags, rugs,
-brushes. Not that Dicky gave any thought to this. It was as if he
-supposed everybody did the same. Since everybody didn’t and couldn’t;
-and since everybody didn’t have as much money to spend for bread and
-meat and tea, as Mr. Cobden did for laundry alone--Pidge was miserably
-rebellious.
-
-Always as she sat in the presence of Dicky’s altogether thoughtless
-freshness; sat in her apple-butter colored wool dress which had
-contained the emotional hurl and thresh of the romantic _Lance_--always
-Miss Musser had a hard time to forget herself and was frequently on the
-verge of becoming defiant and bad-tempered for reasons he didn’t dream.
-
-She suffered, because every evening almost, Dicky invited her out to
-dine, and not once in four times could she pass the frowning negatives
-of her own soul. He chose to regard her as superbly honest and
-unaffected. She really needed those dinners, too. All the future novels
-and heart throbs needed them. Occasionally she met him after dinner
-for a walk or a picture, and once she had been lured to an uptown
-theater. Just once--never again in the brown wool dress!
-
-She felt, as she entered the theater lights that night, that she had
-been betrayed. She felt also like something Mr. Cobden had found in
-the street, or that she was helping him make good on a first of April
-bet. Pidge hadn’t been to more than three “talking shows” in all her
-nineteen years; to her a show house was a place of darkness, except the
-screen.
-
-Alone in her room afterward that night, she made a great vow: that when
-the torrent of American dollars turned loose on her (as it was bound to
-some time) she would buy outright chests full of lingerie, cabinets of
-hats, shelves of shoes, and a book of orders for frocks to be delivered
-at future dates. She would keep clean then if a Santa Ana sandstorm
-settled on New York and lasted a year.
-
-One raw and cold week-night, Pidge was about done up when she reached
-Harrow Street. She tried to slip softly past his hall door, but Dicky
-was there.
-
-“Hard day?” he called.
-
-“Yes,” she said, pushing on. “Everybody’s tired and cross the whole
-length of New York, like a sore spine.”
-
-“You haven’t had dinner?”
-
-“No, but I don’t think I’ll go out----”
-
-“I’ve been waiting, Pidge. There’s a little place near, where I used to
-come from uptown, thinking it an excursion--just a neighbor of ours
-now, _The Hob and Hook_, where they make a stew like Dickens tells of
-in the old English inns--smoking in the pot for twenty-four hours; and
-there’s tea for tired folks, and no end of scones and honey----”
-
-“Oh, please----” said Pidge. Then she added stubbornly, “No, I’m not
-going out again to-night.”
-
-“It is a trifle wintry,” Dicky observed. “We’ll have supper here. I’ll
-go out and get an armful, and Nagar will make us a pot of tea. Oh, I
-say, Pidge, have a little thought of somebody else.”
-
-She weakened. Alone upstairs a minute afterward, she lit the gas and
-stood before the mirror that waved.
-
-“If I turned loose just once and ate all I wanted, he’d never speak to
-me again!”
-
-
-
-
-VII
-
-“THE FREEDOM OF IGNORANCE”
-
-
-PIDGE was gone from Harrow Street from seven in the morning to seven
-at night. She had been absolutely blurred with fatigue at the end
-of the first days, but her hands were hardening, her back adjusting
-to the monotonous work at the big pasting table. She was actually
-learning like the other girls the trick of sinking into a sort of coma
-for an hour or more at a time. Sometimes (as one under the influence
-of a prying drug, which opens scenes, as from a past life) she would
-remember the palisades of Santa Monica, the ocean pressing its white
-fringes up against the gray sand; tirelessly pressing again and again,
-but never leaving its white lines of foam, unless the water was sick
-from the big sewer of El Segundo. Rarely a sail on that great sunny
-bay, but many wings--pelicans, sandpipers, gulls in hundreds, feeding
-out beyond the surf lines, or gathered in conference on the beaten
-sand--three strange and ancient bird types, gathered together in one
-vast audience facing the sea.
-
-This was but one of her pictures. Other times she roamed the canyons,
-Santa Monica and Topango, and the cheerful and solitary mesas.... “Yes,
-that same creature--Pan Musser,” she once said, half aloud.... Then
-she would think of New York and Miss Claes and Richard Cobden; of the
-book she had actually written, and pretty nearly died for, the book
-around which there was a conspiracy of silence. In spite of the coma
-at the pasting table, and the moments of memory drift, the stimulated
-laughter in the washroom, or in the half hour for lunch as they heated
-their tea pails over the radiators at noon; in spite of the clatter of
-tins passing from left to right around the big table, and the tireless
-goading of Fanny Gallup’s cheerful boy-talk--the brown wool dress
-contained plentiful hells of the human heart.... And to-morrow would be
-Thursday, the next day Friday, the next day Saturday, and then sleep,
-and this was also New York.
-
-The first Sunday afternoon of March was the afternoon of the new frock,
-a cheap little one-piece dress, bought on Seventh Avenue, neither
-wool nor brown. It had a tissuey and boxy smell. It was rapturously,
-adventurously new. Pidge had an omen as she put it on, that this was
-a sort of hour of all her life, that never another frock would mean
-quite the same. She was alone with Miss Claes when Dicky Cobden came
-for her at six, according to a plan made early in the week. They were
-to cross to Staten Island and find an old Georgian mammy, whom he knew,
-somewhere back of Stapleton on the wet roads, a mammy who could cook
-chicken and beaten biscuit.
-
-Dicky seemed only to see her face. A great wonderment came up in
-Pidge’s heart, not disappointment exactly, but a sort of soul-deep
-wonder, that Dicky didn’t appear to see the new frock. Could it be
-possible that a man who managed the details of his own attire with
-such practiced art had never known what she suffered in the brown wool
-dress, in all that tragedy of shabbiness and dirt? Had he really not
-felt ashamed of her that night under the lights in the uptown theater?
-He turned to her now:
-
-“You won’t mind, Pidge, just a moment or two, if I speak of a little
-matter to Miss Claes. Oh, I don’t mean for you to leave; in fact, I’d
-rather not. It is just a report about a long story that should have
-been made before.”
-
-Then out of the inmost heart of innocence, Pidge was jerked with a
-crush. Before his next words she realized what she must face; she,
-sitting aside from them in the new frock.
-
-“... About that book manuscript,” Dicky went on. “I have ordered
-it sent back to you, Miss Claes--doubtless it will be in the post
-to-morrow. I have read it, and John Higgins has read it. We’re both
-agreed on this particular manuscript--that it isn’t for _The Public
-Square_.”
-
-Pidge stared at him like a child being whipped for the first time. All
-that was left of the meaning of the book in her own body and mind, and
-all hope concerning it, had suddenly been put to death. But the rest
-of her remained alive in a stupor of suffering; her eyes stared. She
-saw Richard Cobden as never before, saw him as a workman; as they saw
-him in the office. This was a bit of week-day that he was showing now,
-sincerely speaking to Miss Claes, having at length done the best he
-could in regard to the task which she had imposed.
-
-“The thing is _young_, Miss Claes,” he went on. “There is fling and
-fire to it, but its freedom is the freedom of ignorance. This love and
-this sort of man-stuff would only do for the great unsophisticated. I’m
-not saying that some publisher couldn’t take hold of it and make a go.
-In fact, I’ve seen stuff like it in covers mount up to big sales, but
-the human male isn’t handled in it, Miss Claes. This is sort of a young
-girl’s dream of what men are. They drink and fight and love and die and
-all that, but----”
-
-“There, there, Mr. Cobden. Don’t try so hard,” Miss Claes said
-laughingly. “I’m sure you’ve given the book its chance.”
-
-But Dicky meant to finish his report.
-
-“That’s just the point,” he said; “its chance with _The Public Square_
-is all I’m talking about. This is a shopgirl’s book, and there are
-myriads of shopgirls. _The Public Square_ would like to have their
-patronage; yet one pays a price for that. John Higgins--this is the
-best thing that can be said about one of the best men I’ve known--John
-Higgins has never yet consented to pay that price.”
-
-Pidge Musser found her head turning from side to side as one who tries
-to find in which neck muscle a troubling lameness lies. She stopped
-that. She glanced up at Cobden, who was pressing on his left glove
-with his bare right hand. Before she turned, she realized that Miss
-Claes’ eyes were waiting for hers. It wasn’t pity she saw in them,
-nor friendship, nor loyalty, nor laughter; it was something of each of
-these, yet something more. Only one word in English even suggests the
-thing that was pouring upon her through Miss Claes’ eyes--and that word
-is _compassion_.
-
-Its power could not find her heart with its healing, but it seemed to
-gather around like a cloak, waiting for entrance. Pidge wanted to be
-alone with Miss Claes now. The ache was so deep that she felt it would
-be worth a life if she could go into Miss Claes’ arms and break. That
-was it, an utter break was the only thing that could ease this pain.
-Then she became aware of Cobden standing at her side. In a moment he
-would speak. She did not wait for the moment, but arose.
-
-“Shall we start down toward the ferry?” she asked.
-
-“Yes, all ready, Pidge.”
-
-In the silence that followed, Dicky did not seem to notice anything
-wrong. At the door Miss Claes’ hand raised and hovered above Pidge’s
-shoulder, but did not touch. Pidge was grateful for that.
-
-
-
-
-VIII
-
-SOMEBODY’S SHOULDER
-
-
-IT was early April, a dark and rainy afternoon. Pidge had been in the
-tin factory three months. For four weeks the manuscript of the _Lance_
-had lain in the bureau drawer of the little upper room in Harrow
-Street, not being given a second submittal. The secret was still kept.
-Richard Cobden had not spoken of the story since his report that Sunday
-afternoon to Miss Claes. There seemed an astonishing cruelty in the
-fact that he could forget. He had spoken of everything else....
-
-Pidge had just left the factory and was running in her rubbers through
-the blur of rain toward a downtown subway entrance. A sort of mocking
-laughter was in her ears, “and this is New York,” the burden of it.
-In the dim light of the passage down into the tube she saw the gray
-gleaming patches of wear on the steel steps, slippery now from the
-rain. There was a shudder and gasp from a girl beside her; a parting of
-the hurrying ones ahead to avoid clotted pools of blood on two or three
-steps below.
-
-Farther down in the area, a man lay propped in the arms of a stranger.
-His face was very white. A few minutes before he had been hurrying down
-those steel steps that the rain had made slippery--hurrying perhaps in
-the same confusion of fatigue and hunger that she had known.... A pause
-had come to him from all that hurry. His white face was more peaceful
-than any of the bystanders. A hospital ambulance clanged above, as
-she lingered. Attendants came down with the stretcher. The body of
-the unconscious man was swept up by one of the swift city brooms.
-The stream of ticket buyers filed on as before, the downtown express
-crashed in.
-
-Pidge sat in her cane seat. The main crowd of the city was coming
-uptown at this hour. At least, she was spared that packing. She
-breathed the dense tired air, and recalled that on a night or two
-before she had slipped on the steel stairs, but had not fallen. It was
-borne upon her that in some way this man had fallen for her, fallen for
-every one who saw him or the puddles of blood he left. Every one had
-walked more carefully afterward, reaching for the rails. And he had
-lost the sense of hurry--that unmitigated madness which drove them all
-from dawn to dark.
-
-Her old wonder of New York came back, as she thought that she was being
-flashed fifty miles an hour from the junction at Ninety-sixth Street
-down to Forty-second Street, under the busiest streets and corners of
-America. Mere men could manage much. Then the old agony stole in--“the
-freedom of ignorance.” Surely no one had ever been punished for doing
-a book as she had been punished: that it was so poor, as to prove a
-temptation for John Higgins to publish it, because of its chance of
-falling exactly into the fancy of these--the myriad of shopgirls in
-the uptown locals and expresses, crashing by in thick ropes of white
-light. As for the public taste, Dicky Cobden had told her that John
-Higgins had confessed, speaking wearily and with a smile that had lost
-its sting of reproach, that for thirty years he had been choosing
-stories for people to read, and every year he had been forced to lower
-his estimate as to what the public taste was. Even so, John Higgins
-had said he was far from the level; that only a trade mind could get
-stories banal enough. But hers might interest that public.
-
-She was so tired.... For somebody’s shoulder to lean against! Pidge
-knew what Fanny Gallup felt, what the other factory girls felt, when
-they pushed out so brazenly toward men--in very clumsiness from hard
-pressure, spoiling their chances of being treated on the square. Yes,
-she was really learning what the girls felt, as they hunted their
-own in the masses of men they passed--how tired, hungry, blurred,
-unsatisfied their hearts--anything to escape the withering grind of
-the mills and the counters and the shops. She knew the secret bloom
-they felt, the terrible brief drive of it--childhood, girlhood and
-youth, all passing like the uptown trains--a home, a man, a child of
-their own, the one chance for a breath of life. Of course, they talked
-of nothing else, in the closets and dressing rooms, in the cars and
-streets; and read nothing else. Certainly their dreams had to come
-true in books and plays, even if they didn’t in life. Life would break
-the dream soon enough. The best life could do didn’t compare with the
-lowliest dream; for the dream of a girl has glamour, and the life of a
-woman is stripped. But that was no reason why books and plays should
-tear off the glamour ahead of time.
-
-It wasn’t that Pidge loved shopgirls and mill girls. She didn’t love
-herself for sharing their lot. She wasn’t sentimental at all. She
-recognized bad management somewhere that forced her to this work. She
-had to have bread, and outer and under clothing. She paid the price,
-but there was nothing good nor virtuous about it. She didn’t hate Dicky
-Cobden when he spoke of “shopgirl literature”; she knew how rotten
-it was, but there was something in her that belonged to it, or she
-wouldn’t have been in the factory; moreover, that something had helped
-to write the _Lance_.
-
-... Somebody’s shoulder. Three months of tin cans was teaching that
-very well.... And there was a shoulder, straight and steady--a kind
-of mockery about it, because it was so fine. None of the girls at the
-big table where she worked would have asked more. It meant books and
-pictures and all the dining tables of New York; plays and dresses,
-cleanliness, and all the little coaxing cushions and covers of this
-arrogant modern hour. It meant all the old solid established joys of
-place and plenty; all the writing she liked; a leisurely winning of her
-way through magazines and publishing houses; nothing of Grub Street and
-the conspiracy against an unknown outsider....
-
-And this life of the factory--hadn’t she earned release? What more
-could come of the grinding monotony of the days but a more passionate
-agony to escape, through the under world, or the upper world, through
-any route at all, even death itself? Was there a further lesson than
-this?... Somebody’s shoulder. He had the native kindness of clean
-breeding; also that consideration for others of one who is brought up
-in a large house. He had an ardent interest in books and life. He was
-warmly established in the hearts of other men--first and last, a man’s
-man, which it behooves a woman to inquire into.
-
-There was a tired smile on Pidge’s lips as the car halted at
-Thirty-second street.... The only blunders he had ever made were in her
-presence, because he cared so much. He seemed continually in awe and
-wonder before the thing he fancied she was, as if he had never really
-looked at a woman before. Of course, another man might act that way,
-but it was different the way Dicky did it. He had been at school late,
-and for nearly four years in the office of _The Public Square_ he had
-bored steadily, craftily toward the center of the life of letters.
-Work had been his passion up to that day in which he had called to see
-Nagar, and fell under the spell of Miss Claes and Harrow Street....
-There was enough of the artist and dreamer in him to keep life from
-being tame, yet not enough to make life a maze and a madness. He had
-health. Money was to him like an old custom, so established as to be
-forgotten....
-
-Fourteenth Street. Pidge didn’t hear the first call and hopped off
-with a rush at the second, pulling a growl from the gateman as she sped
-out.... Dicky was standing at the head of the stairs on the second
-floor of the Harrow Street house.
-
-“Hello, Pidge,” he said.
-
-“Hello,” she answered, pushing past, but he caught her arm.
-
-“Let me go, please! I haven’t washed yet----”
-
-But he drew her by the hand toward the open door to his front room. The
-brighter light from there streamed out into the dim hall.
-
-“My hands are sticky from the paste. I’ll come back. I’d rather come
-back.”
-
-“It’s about that--about your hands, Pidge. I’ve waited as long as I
-can.”
-
-... Somebody’s shoulder. She wasn’t safe to be trusted right now, yet
-she couldn’t pull away. If she ever got upstairs--even for a minute
-in her own little place, before the mirror that waved, she would see
-it all clearly, but here and now she didn’t want to see clearly. She
-wanted to give up and rest. She wanted what he wanted--wanted to give
-him what he wanted, which was the tiredest, most hopeless girl in
-New York to-night. She was dying of all its strains and failures and
-rigidities and fightings, and he wanted to take the load.
-
-They were standing under the hanging lamp in his room. The light was
-white; his face was white. It was leaner than ever before, more of a
-man in it, more of a boy in it. His will was working furiously to make
-him speak.
-
-He held her right hand up between them.
-
-“It’s about your hands, Pidge, about the factory. Listen, you make
-me feel like a tout or a sot--as if you were out killing yourself to
-support me. I’ve been home two hours and you just coming in.”
-
-“There’s half a million girls in New York--just coming in.”
-
-“I know. We’ll get to them later, but now there’s only one--only one
-Pidge. I want her home to stay. I want to make a home for her. Why,
-Pidge, I’ll let you alone, if you just let me do that----”
-
-“I believe you would.”
-
-She was looking up at him hard. She didn’t fully understand, but the
-boyish cleanliness of him struck her fully that moment. The power of
-his will which she felt was mainly the fierceness of his decision to
-speak. It wasn’t the burn of terrible hunger for her. He was young as a
-playmate: that’s what shook her now. He wanted to fix her place, to let
-her hands soften again, wanted to let her rest and breathe--not what
-the other girls laughed about.
-
-“Why, Pidge, I’ve got to take care of you. I’ve got to straighten you
-out--if it’s only to marry you and go away.”
-
-Something in her heart cracked like a mirror, and a sob broke out of
-her. It was as if a car that had been running along by itself suddenly
-left the road and went into a cliff--a warm, kind cliff. Somebody’s
-shoulder, and she was sobbing:
-
-“I told you I was so tired! I told you I wasn’t safe----”
-
-“Ah, little Pidge----” he was patting her arm and pressing her close.
-
-It had come. This was it. It _was_ rest. The other girls knew. The
-awful cold ache was broken--warmth of life pouring out of her--heavenly
-ease in the flood of tears, and something of the dearness of dreams was
-in his passion, not for her--but to do something for her.
-
-The first whip stroke fell, when Pidge remembered how she looked when
-she cried. But if she could keep her face covered! She didn’t stir....
-Was this the fullness of days? All the consummate essences of ease, he
-brought--no hunger, no dirt--and really she had fought long and hard.
-
-“... Everything you want, Pidge,” he was whispering. “I’ll take you to
-my mother. She’s a regular sport, Pidge----”
-
-“She’d have to be,” came from the incorrigible heart in his arms, but
-not aloud.
-
-The second whip stroke--_The Lance of the Rivernais_. She had failed,
-and the failure wasn’t the book, but herself, the thing in his arms.
-She didn’t stir, but there was coldness of calculation to her thinking
-now--that he meant ease and rest and expediency, not the ripping,
-rioting, invincible man force that was to come one day and carry her
-off her feet.
-
-This was the third whip stroke: that he meant propinquity--the nearest,
-the easiest way.
-
-She started up and pushed him from her.
-
-“I’m not washed,” she said. “I don’t mean from the mills. I’m not
-washed, or I couldn’t have--couldn’t have----! I’m just like the
-rest--dying for a shoulder to cry on. You’re all right, Dicky, so right
-and fine that I’m ashamed. I’ll always care for you. I’ll always be
-warm at the thought of you. I’ll always remember how I went to you--how
-dear you are--but you can’t give me freedom. You can’t give me peace.
-My soul would rot in ease and peace and plenty. I’ve got to earn my
-own.”
-
-She looked up into his face and her own took a fright from it.
-
-“I know I’ll suffer hells for hurting you--but I can’t help it. I had
-to know. If I have to spend a life in misery--I had to know that there
-isn’t anything you can give that will satisfy----”
-
-His mouth was partly open, his head twisted peculiarly, and lowered, as
-if his shoulder and neck were deformed. He was shockingly white under
-the lamp.
-
-“Oh, I’m such a beast and I’m so sorry. I really wanted terribly to
-stay.... But, Dicky Cobden--it wasn’t for you. It wasn’t for you that I
-wanted to stay--it was for what you have--more.”
-
-
-
-
-IX
-
-“YOU BOTH HAVE KEYS”
-
-
-DICKY kept his quarters in Harrow Street, but for days at a time did
-not appear. Pidge Musser at first fancied this was easier. There was a
-faint cackle of derision from somewhere in her depths, as this idea of
-it being easier repeated itself in her mind; in fact, there were many
-conflicting mysteries in Pidge’s deep places. “I laid my head on his
-shoulder,” she once said to herself, “but thought better of it. Now we
-are to be strangers.”
-
-At unexpected moments when she was busy at the pasting bench; or
-nights and mornings, passing in and out of sleep, the faint note of
-mockery would sound. When she passed Dicky in the halls, or met him
-at one of Miss Claes’ little tea parties, and he would bow distantly
-or indulge in formal commonplaces, the mockery would stir itself in
-Pidge’s profundities, indicating that something somewhere was decidedly
-idiotic. He looked positively diminished as he kept up his formalities,
-and she liked and respected him too much to feel pleasant about this.
-She heard that he was interested in Africa. It was to be observed that
-he sought Nagar; in fact, several times she heard these two together
-through the partition.
-
-Finally Pidge heard that Dicky was going to South Africa, possibly to
-hunt up Nagar’s Little Man, whose name was Gandhi, and who had been
-Nagar’s friend and teacher both in India and Natal. Also Dicky was to
-do some letters for _The Public Square_.
-
-On the night before he was to sail for the Mediterranean, he was
-invited with Pidge by Miss Claes for dinner at Tara Subramini’s Punjabi
-Fireplace down on Sixth Avenue near Fourth Street. This was also the
-night Pidge smelled Spring in New York for the first time.
-
-Mid-April; there had been rain. Pidge hadn’t caught the Spring magic
-coming home from the factory, but now as they walked down Sixth Avenue
-under the momentary crashes of the Elevated--it stole up out of the
-pavements as if she were in a meadow--that untellable sweetness
-which seems the breath of Mother Nature herself, a breath made of
-all the perfumes of all the flowers, without accentuating one, and a
-sublimation of all the passions of the human heart as well. Her left
-hand burrowed under the hanging sleeve of Miss Claes’ wrap. The bare
-elbow there closed upon it. They both laughed, and Mr. Richard, walking
-sedately, was altogether out of the question.
-
-Tara Subramini served her Punjabi dinners on great individual plates
-which were none too hot. She discussed modern dancing with Miss Claes
-at easy length, when Pidge was served and Richard Cobden was not. The
-rice cooled, the lamb cooled, even if the peppery curry held its fire.
-The vast plate had curious little crevices on the side for conserves
-and glutinous vegetables and various watery leaves. Pidge became
-prejudiced at once against the Punjab. The great leisure of Asia, which
-she had heard about from a child and which had tempted her alluringly
-in the more intense pressures of her own life, lost something of its
-charm as Tara Subramini conversed with all concerned and the contents
-of the troughs congealed.
-
-Food is food, but talk is merely talk. Besides, Pidge was hungry.
-Subramini had things to say, but also an oriental delight in the use of
-English. Mr. Cobden was unreservedly courteous. Pidge always wondered
-if he really knew what hunger was. She could get so hungry that her
-hands trembled, and New York had shown her deeper mysteries of the
-hunger lesson that she would be slow to forget.
-
-“It must be great to be a gentleman,” she thought.
-
-She positively yearned for Dicky to wake up. If this were poise, this
-moveless calm of his, this unvarying quiet and courtesy, this inability
-to be stretched even in laughter--Pidge felt she was ready to drop the
-hunt; also she was tempted to test out Dicky’s poise to see how much
-it could really stand.... India bored her, as well as America. Miss
-Claes could eat and talk at the same time, and drop neither words nor
-food.... A lone Hindu arose to depart from another table. Subramini
-helped him with his coat and followed him to the door. Pidge thought
-once that Subramini was about to spread herself on the doorstep and let
-him walk over her. Punjab didn’t rise in her regard. Pidge suddenly
-burst out into a kind of merriment that had nothing to do with anybody
-present.
-
-“It is because we’re such idiots!” she said brokenly. “Oh, I don’t mean
-you, Miss Claes. I mean myself and--_Mr._ Cobden. It is the way things
-are done in the world--so utterly silly. Why should we be strange and
-embarrassed, avoiding each other for days and weeks--when we should be
-more than ever friends, and----”
-
-Richard Cobden bent forward attentively. Pidge was turned from him.
-
-“You don’t mean, Pidge, that you fail to see a reason for this
-strangeness?” Miss Claes asked. “You----”
-
-Pidge stared at her a second in surprise.
-
-“There can’t be any sense to it, can there?” she said slowly.
-
-The other regarded her with a calm that irritated Pidge just now.
-Everything irritated her, Dicky sitting by, Miss Claes’ familiarity
-with Subramini, and the look of knowing and not speaking, back of the
-smile on Miss Claes’ lips. But most of all, peculiarly at this moment,
-arose in Pidge’s mind the two conflicting stories of nationality.
-
-“Did I hear you wrongly that you said you were English, Miss Claes?”
-she asked abruptly.
-
-“No, dear.”
-
-“But Dicky said you told him you were Hindu----”
-
-“I did. I am both. I am half-caste, supposed to unite in myself the
-worst of English and Indian.”
-
-Pidge burned with contrition, less at her questioning than at the bad
-temper that prompted it. The two women were ready to go, but Dicky
-wasn’t.
-
-“You seemed to have something to say, Miss Claes, to set us--to set me
-straight on all this,” he began.
-
-“You see, Richard, one cannot speak without being drawn in. I hesitated
-on that account.”
-
-“But I’d like to hear.”
-
-Pidge flushed a little as she watched him. Tara Subramini, still afar
-off, was engaged in words.
-
-“... My house in Harrow Street is just a symbol,” Miss Claes was
-saying. “To come into one’s house really should mean to come into
-one’s heart. You both have keys.... What was in my mind to say was
-that people in your trouble act as strangers for good reasons. If they
-cannot have each other--they sometimes rush to the other extreme to
-save themselves the pain of watching another come between.”
-
-Dicky Cobden essayed to light a cigarette. The match broke in his
-fingers. He did not try again. Miss Claes amplified without apparent
-feeling:
-
-“Sometimes one who cannot have what he wants--gives way to hatred for
-a time to ease his wound.... Pidge, what have you to give for the
-friendship and association of one who wants more?”
-
-“I don’t know that I have anything. I see how selfish I was. It came to
-me that we, of all people, should be friends, but I didn’t look at the
-other side.”
-
-“You can be friends, if you are brave enough. You can be, if you dare
-to come and go and set each other free utterly, but that means long and
-bitter work.”
-
-The harrowing thing to Pidge was that Miss Claes talked as if Dicky and
-herself were one in condition and purpose and dilemma, when in reality
-all the hard part seemed to go to him. She wished Miss Claes would
-stop, but the words continued with a smooth predestined force:
-
-“The best the world knows, even in books and art, is the kingdom of
-two; but love doesn’t end in that--at least, not for those who are
-brave enough and strong enough to sunder their tight little kingdom of
-each other and let the earth rush in between....”
-
-Tara Subramini’s slippered feet crept in. She stood behind Miss Claes’
-shoulders and began to speak of a book of poetic obituaries. The paying
-of the bill seemed an interminable process.
-
-Cobden looked dazed.
-
-“If Pidge thinks it’s silly to act as strangers--and I can see that it
-is--I’m for trying the other way,” he repeated, when they reached the
-street.
-
-The whole talk had been subject to most stubborn and perverse
-distractions. On Sixth Avenue the racket of traffic had become
-incessant. Apparently Miss Claes had decided to say no more. Callers
-waited for her in the basement room at Harrow Street, so Pidge followed
-Dicky to his “parlor,” which she had not entered since the night of
-Somebody’s Shoulder.
-
-He seemed possessed to talk of what he had heard, as a youth fascinated
-by a new course to take. He spoke of a man being big enough to stand
-by and set a woman free; of a man big enough to wait and watch and be
-a friend, a comrade. And Pidge, who had brought it all about, listened
-in a sort of terror which only a woman could understand. This thing
-which she had aroused in him, this answer of his deep, but still vague
-powers, to her thoughtless challenge, frightened her now that it had
-come.
-
-“Don’t, oh, don’t let’s talk any more!” she said at last. “It’s talk,
-Dicky, just talk. The doing is different, the doing is harder! What
-do we know of what life will fix for us to do day by day through the
-years? This thing is so hard that Miss Claes herself hated to let it
-out. It belongs to you differently than it belongs to me. I haven’t
-anything to give for your friendship and association. I mean you’ll
-always want more than I can give.”
-
-He looked at her steadily for an instant.
-
-“I don’t want to be strangers again, Pidge. I want to stand by and
-wait.”
-
-“You won’t know better than to build pictures while you wait. No one
-would. You will wait--while you’re away in Africa, making pictures
-about me, pictures of what I am _not_! I don’t know why I’m chosen to
-hurt you. If I hadn’t been so utterly lost in myself, I never could
-have brought this on. I feel that I’ve started a new set of conditions
-to bring you to another moment--another gash--like in this room the
-last time we were here. And oh, Dicky Cobden, I don’t want to! To be
-strangers! To be common and hateful and avoid each other is so much
-more simple and easy.”
-
-“I’ll stop talking, Pidge,” he said quietly. “It may be easier to be
-strangers, but it doesn’t look rosy to me. Don’t you worry about it. It
-is my job and I’ll take a chance.”
-
-“You don’t know what you’re saying!”
-
-“Perhaps not. We won’t talk about that any more.... Now, Pidge, I’m
-keeping these rooms while I’m away. Wouldn’t you--wouldn’t you for
-me--look after them--look in on them and keep them alive while I’m
-gone?... It would make me feel like--great, you know.”
-
-
-
-
-X
-
-APRIL BREATHES AGAIN
-
-
-THREE nights later, when she reached Harrow Street from the factory,
-Pidge found two letters. One was from John Higgins of _The Public
-Square_. This she opened first.
-
- ... At the suggestion of Mr. Cobden, just before he left for
- South Africa, I am offering you a position here as reader of the
- unsolicited manuscripts. Mr. Cobden hints that you know enough about
- _The Public Square_ to realize we cannot be lavish in salaries, but
- think we can at least pay you what you are getting now, to begin
- with--and the work will be different.
-
-“Oh, Dicky Cobden,” she whispered, alone in the upper room.
-
-She sat in the center of her cot as of old, breathing the sweetness of
-the release from the factory.... Friendliness like this art of Dicky’s
-was good.... It made her eyes smart now--the new work. It was easier to
-take it from him--away. It was a soft cloak that she could nestle in,
-because he wouldn’t see.... Miss Claes knocked. Pidge read in her eyes
-that she already knew.
-
-“No one can ever tell you anything.”
-
-“I’m so glad you want it, Pidge. I couldn’t tell him for sure that
-you’d take it.”
-
-“They really need somebody, don’t they?”
-
-“Mr. Cobden said you wouldn’t be in doubt about that after you got
-there.”
-
-“I’m going to take it,” Pidge said soberly. “I know it means something
-more than it looks--but I’m going to take it. I’m so sick of myself
-which fights everything. Also, I’m going down after supper--and sit
-there--in his ‘parlor.’ I haven’t entered since----”
-
-Miss Claes was called from below. Pidge felt the second letter in her
-hand. It was from Los Angeles, her father’s writing. A check dropped
-out on the cot. By powerful effort of will, Pidge left it there, until
-she had read the note:
-
- ... At this time it seems well for me to send you money. Hard as it
- has been for me to refrain, I felt before this that it was best for
- you to face New York alone, unaided. As there is a New Generation, my
- child, there is a New Fatherhood which dares--dares even to allow the
- heart’s darling to struggle alone; dares to say “hands off” to all
- the untransmuted emotions which rush forth to shield the fledgling
- from the world----
-
-Fifty dollars. Pidge sank back and softly batted her pillow with
-one loose arm. She laughed in a smothery uncertain way that was not
-of joy.... It was as if she heard his voice in the room--the new
-parenthood, the new generation, the adjustment of motive to moment!
-
-The sort of thing in this letter always shook and tortured Pidge. It
-was a part of her. She was bred of it. She had been half as old as now
-when she first realized it. Then in every thought and act, she had
-rushed to the other extreme. It was true that her father had taught
-her the deepest things in books. In his study, she had caught hints of
-the inner meanings of inaccessible literatures, before she had learned
-to spell simple words of English. Because his eyes hurt, she had read
-aloud for hours, day after day, tomes out of Asia which she had no
-care nor thought to understand, but from which, volatile fairylike
-impressions came to rest in the depths of her heart. She had loved the
-few central springs of books in a house of books, until she realized
-that her father read, but lived them not; that he expounded, exhorted
-upon the doctrines--but his life was his own twisted rag. That was when
-Pidge’s heavens cracked--and she had set out to be honest and erect, if
-only as tall as a gnome.
-
-The thought that came at this moment had come before. It was the
-passion to be what her father was not that had made her rush forth to
-be straight in her own head--to refuse to lie to herself--to go to the
-other extreme of fierceness and bleakness and ill-temper, rather than
-lie to herself--to be plain and true, if she had to be a man-hater and
-poison face. Yet Pidge sat up straight with a bitter thought. Like it
-or not, she saw right now that it was her father who had prepared her
-to accept and make good, possibly, in this position with _The Public
-Square_....
-
-“But where did he get the money?” she muttered at last.
-
-She crossed to the open window. April breathed up to her from the stone
-floor of the area to-night; magic April, breathing up through the
-trampled earth and the degraded pavements. Suddenly a soft love stole
-over her. It was love of the April dark.
-
-She heard the sounds of the city over the buildings, over into the
-stillness of Harrow Street, like the far tread and clatter of a
-pageant. Mother Nature was actually perceptible in this soft air, and
-something that Pidge answered to as never before in New York. Her hands
-stretched out to touch the casings of the window; the old wood gave
-her an additional warmth. It belonged to this house of Miss Claes,
-this house of the mystery of kindness. She was free at this moment of
-the fear of accepting too much, having come up to breathe, at least,
-out of the ruck of fighting everything and everybody. She had been
-utterly graceless and narrow in her acceptances, fighting against
-favors, when she knew all the time that to receive is the other part
-of giving. A shiver passed over her, nevertheless, as she remembered
-the subtle mendicancy that she had known in her father’s house, the
-calm acceptance of gifts and favors from others in the belief that one
-was evolved enough to give the ineffable in exchange for materials. No
-wonder she had run from that.
-
-This of Miss Claes’ was a house with a heart. This was her house. She
-could breathe in it now, at least, for a little. The numbness and
-dumbness of the factory had fallen away. The softness stole over her
-toward Fanny Gallup and the other girls who must still stay at the
-bench. She would never forget. She had earned an understanding of them,
-and had been released; _released_ was the word. But something would
-carry her back to them one day, something born in that slow madness of
-monotony.
-
-She crossed the room and opened the door into the hall. Supper smells
-came up to her, the murmur of voices behind the shut doors. The prima
-donna person was singing, not practicing this time, but singing....
-“One comes up through great tribulation to learn to sing,” Miss Claes
-had once said, “and others share it.”
-
-The warmth stole into her from the halls. Everybody was hungry
-to-night, the spring hunger, and everybody celebrated, as a festival.
-April seemed breathing in the halls, too. April was breathing in
-herself; that was why she was awake to this outer delight. If she
-could only keep it. It would always be in externals, if she could only
-keep this springtime alive within. She laughed a little bitterly. Of
-course, she was elated because the factor had dropped away, because
-the new position had opened, because the check had come (though she
-felt something queer about that), because Richard Cobden and Miss Claes
-were fashioned of unswerving kindnesses, which she suddenly realized as
-never before.
-
-“It’s money and place, and I’m ‘falling for’ it, venturing to be
-pleased with myself----” She laughed again. “But, oh, it is so
-cheerful, so restful to feel New York like this, just for to-night!”
-
-
-
-
-XI
-
-THE BABY CARRIAGE
-
-
-PIDGE read manuscripts in the office of _The Public Square_. She saw
-them first. The large part of them were seen by no one else. It was
-like being a telephone girl in a way, dipping into the secrets of a
-thousand houses. But it was much more subtle than that; the secrets
-more soulful and revelatory. She saw the hopelessness of life. She saw
-love, hopelessly uninviting love--puppy love, and much of the “kidding”
-clever love that is made in America, and proud of itself for that.
-But over all, there seemed an anguish on the part of male and female,
-old and young, _to express_. Before her were secrets of those dying
-for expression; in her hands, the progeny. She loathed the desire
-everywhere, because she had the same desire herself.
-
-Every one who wrote and submitted stories and manuscripts had a
-“front.” In the personal letters, accompanying their stories and
-articles and poems, they told matters about themselves which their
-manuscripts did not. They knew this one and that; they had influential
-friends who had said this and that about their writing. Parlorfuls
-of friends “had been quite carried away by the inclosed.”... Others
-hadn’t wanted to write. They had rebelled long; even as Saul, they had
-kicked against the pricks; but for the good of others, for the message
-it would carry to the world, they had given in at last and written
-their story which was inclosed.... “This is a true story,” one personal
-letter accompanying said.... “This story may be finished differently,”
-another wrote. “I have thought out a happy ending, if the public is not
-ready to stand this human one.”... Here was a sales manager who wrote
-his personal letter with a jovial laugh: “I have just tossed these few
-experiences into a story which my friends insist belongs to you....
-I wouldn’t think of it, but I can’t help seeing what a rotten lot of
-stuff the magazines publish!”... This one had decided to write stories
-because she was a widow and had no other means of support, and had
-heard that writing was “the pleasantest of professions.”... And here
-was one who had sent in story after story to rejection for six years.
-“Some time I will win,” came the thin tired cry.
-
-Pidge had fatigued her body in the mill. She tired her heart in the
-office of _The Public Square_, reaching Harrow Street with something in
-her breast all sore and shamed. This was the queer strenuous part--the
-shame of it all. She, too, had fallen into expressing herself, and they
-had been kind. Miss Claes had been kind and she knew. But Dicky Cobden
-and John Higgins had been kind, though they hadn’t known the author of
-the _Lance_. (They would never know.) They had said that the writer
-had the fine freedom of youth--“the freedom of ignorance.”
-
-Pidge knew even better now what that meant. She saw the freedom of
-ignorance in the rape of many type machines.... The worst of it was,
-she herself wasn’t through. She knew the time would come when a new
-story would form within her, and begin its knocking for life.... And
-this was New York, the market place; and John Higgins sat near, and
-always he held his face nearer the manuscripts toward the end of the
-days, his eyes more tired and dim in the late hours....
-
-“Miss Musser,” he called one afternoon at the end of the first month.
-“I wish you would go out and see what this Rufus Melton really has to
-say. We took a story of his some months ago. We had great hopes for
-him, but now he’s sent in a raft of junk. Kid stuff, this must be, he’s
-trying to work off. I don’t feel like seeing him right now.”
-
-In the reception room, a young man arose to meet her, as she spoke the
-name, “Mr. Melton.” It was a face you would expect to see on one of the
-cars of Hollywood Boulevard, among the movie plants. There was a catch
-in Pidge’s throat as she said:
-
-“Mr. Higgins asked me to tell you he was occupied, Mr. Melton. His
-report will go to you in a day or two.”
-
-He was looking down at her, the young man who had written the little
-twisted fury of a tale called _Dr. Filter_, which Dicky had brought
-to Harrow Street for her to read. She sensed that he regarded her as
-an office girl, not as a reader. He couldn’t have been more than
-twenty-three or four. He knew that her words portended an evil fate for
-his present offerings. It was not hurt alone in his eyes, but rage, too.
-
-Now Pidge’s mind whirled back to a pair of eyes in a baby carriage at
-Santa Monica; eyes of a male infant, said to be the handsomest of that
-locality where the hills and mesas break off abruptly for a sea wall.
-Large, still, steady blue-black eyes of an actor that had become calm
-because they were used to seeing faces wilt before them; long, curving
-coal-black lashes. Pidge hadn’t liked them in the infant; at least,
-they roused her unpleasantly somehow; and she didn’t like them now. The
-resemblance was deeper and more essential than that of family, but what
-held Pidge really was something she recognized, or fancied she did,
-something that had to do with being broke and threatened with hunger
-in New York. His clothing was fine, but had been long used. She had a
-positive divination for poverty.
-
-Now his gaze was lost in her hair, as if he found hope there. Story
-failures and New York, fear, and its tough core of hunger, these
-amounted to one thing--but red hair was another. The astonishing part
-was the constant changing of expressions in his eye. They reflected
-every mood and whim of him, for one who could read; that is, when he
-forgot to veil them for purposes of his own. Just now he seemed to be
-wondering if he had better go any further with this red hair--if he had
-time to play. He didn’t seem to consider whether Pidge wanted to play
-or not, only whether the game were worth the while of one whose law was
-not to let any real chance slip. Pidge had forgotten the hurt of her
-message from John Higgins. She had a pronounced feeling that she wanted
-to hurt Melton some way herself....
-
-“So I can’t see Mr. Higgins?”
-
-“He’s been unusually rushed to-day.”
-
-He laughed a little bitterly as if he understood all that. “Are
-you--are you his secretary?”
-
-“No, an under reader.”
-
-“I see. Have you been through any of my stuff?”
-
-Pidge glanced at him resentfully; she felt he wouldn’t have asked such
-a question of a man.
-
-“This is a sort of show-down with me,” he went on. “I’m leaving New
-York. I really hoped to see Mr. Higgins.”
-
-His dilemma seemed real. It pulled her out from herself.
-
-“I’m sorry----”
-
-“Perhaps you--I’d have to know before to-morrow,” he said jerkily.
-“Perhaps you’d look at another story just finished? If you would read
-it--there is just a chance you might want to get it to Mr. Higgins
-before I go.”
-
-“Have you the story with you?”
-
-“No. I was hoping for good word from one of the others first. This new
-one is my last wallop. Might I bring it to you, anywhere you say, this
-evening?”
-
-“You may leave it with Miss Claes at 54 Harrow Street.”
-
-“Are you Miss Claes?”
-
-“No, but she will give it to me.”
-
-“Could I call later in the evening also, for your answer? It is only
-four or five thousand words.”
-
-“You know, my reading is merely--I mean Mr. Higgins would have to
-decide.”
-
-“But it would help--if the story pleased you--help to pass the night!”
-
-“You may leave it with Miss Claes at the basement entrance and call a
-little later.”
-
-Pidge found herself walking on tiptoe back to her desk, the catch still
-in her throat.
-
-
-
-
-XII
-
-UNDER THE SAME LAMP
-
-
-THE manuscript was delivered while Pidge was out to supper. She took
-it upstairs to Cobden’s “parlor” and read with a nervous interest, and
-an uncomfortable feeling that Rufus Melton was looking down at her
-all the time. She didn’t lose herself in the story, but the feeling
-persisted that she might have done so, another time--especially if the
-manuscript had come to her in the usual way at the office. Certainly it
-was different and distinctive, compared to the run of the unsolicited.
-It was artful, if not art.... She heard Nagar’s quiet steady step as he
-passed up to his room. She had an impulse to ask him to read, but he
-wouldn’t say anything. Anyway, he was gone now.
-
-This was a story of the Tunisian sands, written, she decided, by one
-who hadn’t been there; one who saw the desert as the average American
-reader would expect, but with additional flatfooted bits of color
-tramped down with audacity. Moonlight was different in Tunisia, and
-morals were different--freer than here. There was the glitter of the
-snake’s eye through the pages, for Pidge Musser. It made her think of a
-sick man in a gorgeous robe.
-
-She had inferred from Melton’s talk that this story was new; in
-fact, that it was still hot from his machine. Yet the manuscript
-didn’t feel new; the front and back pages showed wear. Could she
-have misunderstood?... It had freedom; not the freedom of ignorance,
-but the freedom of a drifting ship. Its anchor dragged, its compass
-was uncentered. It cried out, “My God, I am free!” and it was, as a
-derelict is free.
-
-At a quarter of ten, she heard the bell in the basement hall; heard
-Miss Claes directing Melton to the next floor. Pidge would not have
-had it this way, but people of the house were in the basement. He came
-up out of the dim stairway, walking wide, his soft cap crumpled in his
-hand, elbows out. He must have learned her name from Miss Claes.
-
-“You mustn’t think, Miss Musser, that I don’t know how much I am
-asking--this favor of yours to-night.”
-
-There was a sort of lift and draw to the way he took her hand; at the
-same time his shoulders and head bent down upon her. This thing that
-he was playing to-night was college boy--clumsy subtlety of a big boy
-coming home and greeting his sister--seeing in her, at the moment of
-greeting, something of the charm other boys might see. He walked around
-her under the light, laughing, apologizing, making a humorous picture
-of his own tension at _The Public Square_ that afternoon.
-
-“I went there like an anarchist,” he laughed. “I was prepared to get my
-answer or blow up the place. I had to laugh afterwards the way I seized
-upon you.”
-
-“I read the Tunis story,” she said. “Of course, you know it’s really
-unimportant what I think. I liked it well enough, but wasn’t carried
-away. I felt the color; in fact, color is the main asset of the story,
-but it seemed a bit thick----”
-
-He laughed aloud. He was bending to her again, and most benignly,
-college big brother still in his manner and voice.
-
-“I could tone that down, of course. The trouble is to get a thing like
-that straight, when you know that part of Africa as I do. I ought to
-have kept off Tunis, that’s the truth of it.”
-
-“You have really been there?”
-
-“That’s the worst of it, Miss Musser,” he laughed. “I went through hell
-for that story. Too much feeling to write with, you understand.”
-
-Pidge was awed at her own error. She had been so convinced that the
-color was faked that she had judged the whole story on that basis.
-
-“I’ve already asked too much of you. I’m sorry,” he added ingenuously.
-“One can’t force his things through this way. Why, I’d have given the
-whole six stories to _The Public Square_ for a hundred dollars, and
-taken the cheapening that comes to an author from a trick like that.
-That’s how I needed an answer.”
-
-He had glanced up at the light as he spoke, a white, haggard smile,
-that bloodless look around the mouth. Pity caught and controlled her.
-She had done him an injustice already.
-
-“You spoke of leaving New York for the west,” she said.
-
-He laughed and shrugged, palms held upward.
-
-“How far? I mean where is your home?”
-
-He pointed to his cap lying on the arm of a chair, as if to say that
-were his home.
-
-“I’ve got an aunt in Cleveland who wants me,” he added. “A little quiet
-house away out on one of the cross streets off Euclid, where there’s a
-room and eats and a place to write. I’ll start to walk, I guess.”
-
-“Where are you staying in New York?”
-
-He was laughing at her. “A little den up in Union Square--just a
-skylight. It’s a cell, Miss Musser, and even there, I have to stay out
-until midnight to sneak in without meeting the landlady.... Did you
-ever sleep in a room that had no window?”
-
-“Mine has a window,” Pidge said.
-
-“Then this isn’t yours?” He pointed to the closed folding doors of the
-inner room.
-
-“Oh, no. Mine’s up higher, but it has a window. This is just a sitting
-room we sometimes use--Miss Claes and I--the lodger being away.”
-
-“Oh,” he said queerly; then added with his haggard smile: “So the color
-was put on too thick--that’s too bad.”
-
-“Does Mr. Higgins know that you have been over there in Tunis?” Pidge
-asked.
-
-“I figured he would, but maybe he will decide, as you did, that I sat
-here in New York and stabbed at that setting.”
-
-“I’ll place the story before him to-morrow. I could say to him that
-you’ve been to the desert----”
-
-“Oh, I wouldn’t. Don’t tell him that. I was hoping, though, that you
-could tell him you liked it.”
-
-Pidge now looked up into a smile almost childlike in its eager purpose.
-
-“Couldn’t you tell him that? Couldn’t you tell him that--just for what
-others may find in the story?”
-
-The catch was in her throat again. His hand rested lightly upon her
-shoulder; his smile was altogether disarming in its wistfulness. She
-thought he couldn’t mean what he said. She thought of the face in the
-baby carriage in Santa Monica; of this tortured child of whims and
-imaginations, in a room with no window, and the pallor around his
-mouth. She didn’t like any of it, but did not feel exactly separate
-from it. She thought of a little box upstairs in her own room, of the
-check her father had sent, which she had so far refused to cash. She
-was in a blur, her sense of belonging to Melton’s dilemma over all.
-
-“You can’t mean for me to tell Mr. Higgins what I don’t believe,” she
-said. “I’ll ask him to read the story to-morrow. If he’s against it, I
-could--I might help you to pay for the room in Union Square, or--enough
-to get to Cleveland.”
-
-Then the thing happened which she would have apprehended, except for
-her pity and personal involvement in his trouble. She was drawn in
-between the open flaps of his coat, and held there against the soft
-shirt which he wore. And all through her were his whispers--soft
-delighted laughter from lips that pressed into her hair and cheeks,
-searching for hers.
-
-She had finally pushed him from her, and they stood apart under the
-lamp. For a moment, they stared. Then it seemed as if he studied her,
-as one who suddenly revalues, doubles the value of an object. It was
-the queerest, intensest scrutiny, his head cocked to one side, the
-light and laughter returning to his eyes and lips.
-
-“I knew I wasn’t safe to come here,” he said. “I knew if you did
-like the story, I wasn’t safe to hear the verdict. It was the idea
-of getting enough money to escape from that room, to get back into
-Cleveland and find myself----”
-
-Still she stared at him.
-
-“I don’t suppose you can ever forgive me, but it broke me wide open,
-Miss Musser--to find what a ripping sport you are!”
-
-“That’s about enough words,” she said.
-
-He looked down.
-
-“To-morrow,” she went on in a dreary tone, “you may come here--I mean
-to the basement entrance, at seven in the evening, and I’ll tell you
-Mr. Higgins’ decision. If it’s against the story, I’ll do as I said
-about your room rent and the fare to Cleveland.”
-
-His hands went out to her.
-
-“After what I did--you still want to do that?”
-
-“Yes, and now please go.”
-
-Pidge was up in her own room minutes afterward, before she realized
-that it had happened under that white lamp of Cobden’s “parlor.”
-
-
-
-
-XIII
-
-“MOTHER”
-
-
-“A MAN’S a fool before he learns technic,” John Higgins said, as he
-leaned back from a manuscript the next afternoon. “He’s a cripple while
-he’s learning it. When he’s learned it and forgotten he’s learned
-it--he begins to be a workman. That’s the freedom of knowledge.... As
-for this Tunis story of young Melton’s--it’s a subtle sort of botch.”
-
-Rufus Melton came to the basement entrance at seven. Even if Miss Claes
-had not gone out to dinner, Pidge would not have taken him upstairs. He
-looked older, his back had a curious droop. He glanced at her ruefully,
-and around the room. Pidge stood beside the table.
-
-“Mr. Higgins didn’t care for your story,” she said. “It has happened
-unluckily all around.”
-
-His head had bowed before she began to speak. His eyes came up to her
-now, full of contrition and pain.
-
-“I think the hardest thing I ever did was to come here to-night. Only
-one thing made it possible. I’d have started west, only New York is a
-curious old dump.”
-
-“How is that?” she asked warily.
-
-“You have to go north to go west. I mean the only way out is north, for
-a pedestrian.”
-
-“You haven’t enough for the ferry or tube?”
-
-Their eyes met.
-
-“What I said last night holds good, you know,” she said with effort.
-
-He turned slowly to the door as if in indecision, and Pidge watched.
-She knew she could make him take the money, but she wanted him to be
-ready to die first.
-
-“There was nothing in the other stories, either--from Higgins’ point of
-view?” he asked.
-
-Pidge was white. She felt like an executioner. “The package was mailed
-back to you to-day.”
-
-For just an instant his head was bowed again, half turned to the door.
-Then he veered around and his hand came out to hers.
-
-“Good night,” he said.
-
-“Good night. But you--that quiet room in Cleveland----”
-
-He shook his head with a slow, dawning smile.
-
-“It’s great to know you. I’ve heard about such people being here in the
-Village, but it’s--‘It’s fourteen miles from Schenectady to Troy.’”
-
-“It’s a long way to Albany before that,” she said.
-
-“It’s a long way to One-Hundred-and-Tenth Street, Miss Musser, but it
-is easier than taking money from a girl.”
-
-She breathed relief. “I came to fight it out here in New York on the
-same terms you did,” she said. “You can pay me back.”
-
-Now his back was toward her, his face uplifted. She saw his hand grope
-for the knob of the door, and his shoulders rock weakly. She caught his
-arm and pulled him back to a chair.
-
-“You see, you really couldn’t get away.”
-
-He had suffered her to lead him to a dining-room chair, and sat very
-still, his head tilted back, eyes closed. She took the little package
-of bills from her dress and tucked it into his hand. There were voices
-in the hall; a vague frown crossed his white temples.
-
-“What is it?” he said queerly.
-
-“You are faint. I’ll go with you to a near place for something to eat.
-That’s all you need. Come--if you can walk a little way.”
-
-He stood in a sort of confusion, holding the folded bills in his hand
-as one would hold a card.
-
-“Put that in your pocket,” she said, but he did not seem to comprehend.
-
-They were in the street, her hand steadying him. They found a dim
-restaurant with a counter and a few tables. He did not speak until
-the waiter came; then asked for coffee. Pidge had taken the money and
-thrust it into his coat pocket. Now she was tormented with the fear
-that he would lose the small roll, not knowing that he had it. She had
-not brought her own purse. He would be forced to pay; then he would
-have to see what he had.
-
-He drank the coffee first, then ate sparingly.
-
-“I learned that in the desert,” he said at last.
-
-“Learned what, please?”
-
-“Not to go mad over the taste of food when one has been without.”
-
-The girl who waited on the table looked devotedly into Melton’s profile
-as she served. Twice as he started to speak, the Sixth Avenue elevated
-crashed by outside and he seemed to forget what he meant to say. It
-seemed more true here in the restaurant than it had been in the house
-in Harrow Street, that he was wonderfully good to look upon. The
-realization held a small tumult for Pidge. She was altogether different
-with him than with any one else. They had finished, and still he
-lingered.
-
-“I’m sorry. I hadn’t intended to come out. I left my bag upstairs. Will
-you please pay?”
-
-To his illness, a look of embarrassment was now added.
-
-“It’s in your pocket. Right there----”
-
-She pointed to his coat, and he drew out the bills wonderingly.
-
-“Oh, I remember,” he said dully.
-
-While the waitress was away bringing the change, he shoved the rest of
-the money across the table to Pidge, but she pushed it back, saying
-quietly:
-
-“I want you to fix up the room rent and get a night train west. We’ll
-say no more.”
-
-His lips whitened under a curious tightening.
-
-“Let’s get out in the dark,” he said roughly.
-
-They walked back to Eighth Street and over to the Avenue, entering the
-Square that way. The sooty grass was soft and damp; the faintest trace
-of fog among the trees.
-
-“You’ve got something on me,” he was saying strangely. “You’re not like
-a girl, but like a woman and a pal, too. You had something on me last
-night, or I wouldn’t have fallen for you that way.”
-
-“When you get back to that Cleveland room--perhaps a real story will
-come of all this.”
-
-“A real story,” he repeated.
-
-His eyes were bright and the pallor of his face intense enough to be
-visible. She was conscious of his inimitable charm as his head inclined
-to her and she heard his words in the lowest possible tone:
-
-“Meeting you--that is the real story.”
-
-She pushed away his hand that had lifted to hers.
-
-“You’re all right now. I’m going back. Good night and good luck.”
-
-He made no attempt to detain her.
-
-That night Pidge lay for a long time without sleep. She was forlorn
-and troubled and restless, but underneath it all there was a queer
-little throb of happiness, like the recent night of the two letters. It
-would not be stifled. Every time she could get still enough, she was
-conscious of it, like the song of a bird that kept on and on, but was
-only audible in the lulls of almost unbroken traffic. She awoke in the
-night with the thought of him speeding westward on his train.
-
-The next night when she came home there was another letter from
-Los Angeles, another check dropped out, and a clipping, which she
-read first--the wedding announcement of “Adolph Musser, the noted
-metaphysician, and Mrs. Hastings, wealthy widow of the late Rab Gaunt
-Hastings, firearms manufacturer of New England, at the Byzantine,” etc.
-
-Pidge didn’t have her guard up. The choke and the shame were too swift
-for her self-control. For the first time in many days the tears broke,
-the extra scaldy sort. If she had only been permitted to keep that
-first check uncashed for a few days longer!...
-
-The next was a day of dullness and misery, a May day of rain. Crossing
-Broadway, as she hurried to luncheon, she passed Rufus Melton in the
-crowd. Her lips parted to call, but she checked in time. He hadn’t seen
-her. She found herself standing loosely in the traffic, her hand to her
-mouth, until a taxi driver roared at her, and she swung into the stream
-of people again and reached the curb.
-
-
-
-
-XIV
-
-ISOLATION
-
-
-PIDGE was leveled with personal shame. Try as she would, she was as
-lacking in the ability to detach herself from Melton, as from the
-influence of her father. She had felt the boy’s power over her, and
-knew innately that she would feel it again; that this sort of thing
-wasn’t a mere touch and go; that meetings like this, which appear
-sporadic on the surface, have twined roots beneath. She had been taught
-from a child that nothing merely happens. The incentive that made her
-lend him the fifty dollars, which she had held uncashed for nearly
-a month, did not mean to her now a mere impulsive mistake. It was a
-symbol of a giving to this boy--of a blind but eager something out of
-the depths of her heart.
-
-Late in June a letter came to her from Dicky Cobden, who was at
-Coquihatville on the Equator, where as he said, “the sun’s rays fall as
-straight as a tile from a roof.”
-
- ... Oh, yes, you and Miss Claes knew a lot more than I did that
- night at Tara Subramini’s. I shot off a lot of words afterwards.
- Never again. But I’m going to stay with it, Pidge.... I’ve just had
- ten days here in the jungles, back on one of the tributaries of the
- Kong. If I stayed long here, I would see it all as these exiled white
- men do; that God is a rubber man with ivory legs; that the natives
- are vermin, not only to be walked over, but to be stamped into the
- ground. They whimper so. It’s too hot here to be whimpered at.... I
- think so much about you. Of course, this isn’t news to you, but I
- say it, because it is so different from what I thought it would be.
- Something snapped when I got to the Kong.... All fat and decoration
- are sweated off down here. I reach out to you just the same. Only
- in New York I thought that we were both wrapt in the same sort of
- film, a tinted filmy sort of glamour that stretched out as we went
- different ways. That film was stretched too hard. When I reached the
- River it snapped. I think I’ll never get over feeling this awful
- isolation of being a separate creature from everybody, worst of all
- from you....
-
-... Next morning in the office John Higgins called her in to his desk.
-“Dicky has sent in some stuff. We begin to publish in August.”
-
-He took off his spectacles and wiped them on the flap of his necktie.
-His eyes looked watery, as if the light had run out in tears.
-
-“I’ve always heard that the Cobdens were honest,” he went on, “three
-generations of honest men. They’ve built something, Miss Musser. Not a
-business, that’s well enough, but they’ve built a man. Listen----”
-
-He opened the pages at random and began to read. It was like the stuff
-in her letter.
-
-“It’s so for pages and pages,” he continued. “Every word standing out,
-if you get the hang of it. No tint, no art; just words, pain-born,
-separate like boulders in a field. He has no hopes, yet he writes what
-he sees.... Something seems to have happened to our Dicky, besides
-Africa.... He watches the string of natives coming in with their tusks;
-he watches the crocodiles coming up to the blinding surface water; he
-watches the big monkeys that live in twos, and the little monkeys that
-live in troops. I don’t know what the world’ll get out of this, but I
-know what I get out of it----”
-
-She saw that John Higgins was merely thinking out loud. A few moments
-later he finished:
-
-“This stuff amounts to the most subtle and incredible rearraignment of
-imperialistic cruelty, but Dicky doesn’t mean it that way. He keeps
-repeating with devilish calm that it isn’t so bad as it was. It’s no
-particular nation, but all whites. He writes from the standpoint of
-a white man who remembers Cortez in Mexico, Pizarro in Peru, Warren
-Hastings in India, Cecil Rhodes in Africa and our own dear religious
-settlers bringing Yankee wits and rum and disease to the red Indians.
-He turns over the pages of all patriotic histories with a long stick
-as you would poke the leaves from the face of a corpse you had made
-yourself. His face tries to turn away; his stomach retches, but he
-knows each man and each nation must bury his own dead.”
-
-“‘Something seems to have happened to our Dicky, besides Africa,’”
-Pidge repeated, when she was alone.
-
-Summer days in New York, sleepy stewy days. The low clouds made the
-nights hot. Pidge was used to the “high sky” of Southern California
-where every inch of shadow meant coolness, where cool night fell
-quickly no matter how hot it had been in the sun, where there were no
-afterglows, nor afterheats, and you wanted a wrap the instant the sun
-went down. The meaning of summer in New York became a cruel meaning, in
-the little room off the area. It gave her an astonishing grasp of what
-people suffered in the tenements.
-
-Two weeks after the copy arrived from Africa, the galleys came up on
-the Cobden articles, and Pidge asked permission to take a set home to
-show two friends of Dicky’s in Harrow Street. John Higgins acquiesced.
-Pidge delivered these to Miss Claes and forgot all about it, until the
-next night when she returned to the house after dinner, and Miss Claes
-called her from the door of Cobden’s “parlor.”
-
-“Come in, Pidge, and we’ll shut everything out.”
-
-Nagar was within and the galleys were stretched out under the
-light. Pidge had never seen Miss Claes and Nagar quite like this.
-They appeared happy over something they had found in Dicky Cobden’s
-isolation and melancholy--happy as in the news of a legacy.
-
-“Why, don’t you see?” said Miss Claes strangely. “He’s pondering on
-Life! He thinks he’s reporting--when really he is giving himself
-to Life. The world stretches out before his eyes without glamour,
-stripped. He offers himself to it, but his writing contains a
-confession with the weariness of the ages on it, that he has nothing
-to give--that he is a sham like all the rest. There’s not a self-pose
-in all his pages.”
-
-Nagar had slipped out. Miss Claes came close and added softly:
-
-“Richard is finer than we knew, Pidge. What happened here in this house
-has prepared him--always the wrecker before the builder.”
-
-“You mean, I’m the wrecker?”
-
-“You couldn’t have done differently.... Too bad he isn’t to see
-Mohandas Gandhi. Nagar has received word that the Little Man is
-returning to India. Richard didn’t go to Natal first.”
-
-“He’ll be so sorry,” Pidge said. “It was Nagar’s story that drew him to
-Africa----”
-
-Their eyes met; no need to amplify.
-
-“Dicky’s so deadly in earnest,” Pidge went on. “He sees what he sees
-the same at ten in the morning and at ten at night. His coming to
-Harrow Street didn’t mean a whim. His part that night of our Punjabi
-dinner didn’t mean a whim. Oh, but I’m so glad he hasn’t started out to
-save the world!”
-
-“He’s preparing to work better than that.”
-
-“I feel so ungrateful for not missing him more,” Pidge added
-unsteadily, “for not being more interested in this that pleases you.
-I can appreciate, but oh, Miss Claes, I don’t belong to your way of
-seeing things. I’ll always be Dicky Cobden’s hangman, always hurting
-myself more!”
-
-They were standing close together.
-
-“Nothing matters to me but myself!” Pidge moaned. “I’m hopelessly lost
-in myself--that’s what’s the matter! What room have I for Africa or the
-world? There’s more to me in the struggle of John Higgins not to get
-drunk--in the body hunger and body love of Fanny Gallup--in the lies of
-Rufus Melton! I can understand this world-service thing--oh, I can see
-the nations like chessmen on the table!--but I can’t fix Fanny Gallup
-or John Higgins, I can’t fix Rufus Melton. I can’t fix myself!”
-
-
-
-
-XV
-
-THE COBDEN INTERIOR
-
-
-PIDGE heard about the assassinations in Bosnia as wearily as of a
-murder in little Sicily. She heard rumors of war in Europe with
-ennui--how could there be energy enough left in the human race to make
-war? She met Nagar in the lower hall at Harrow Street on the evening
-that war became a fact. He looked like a dead man walking in the
-twilight. She didn’t see Miss Claes at all that night. The next day in
-the office war began to show its personal aspects to Pidge Musser of
-Los Angeles. John Higgins was hours late in returning from lunch. She
-saw that he wouldn’t be down at all to-morrow. He looked old. He had
-on a black frock coat, as if dressed for pallbearing, though his face
-looked as if he were about to be borne himself. The little office was
-fumy, sweetish.
-
-“Our blessed Savior moves in mysterious ways,” he remarked.
-
-Pidge lingered at the door to get any significance that this might have
-for her.
-
-“The Lord gives and the Lord takes away,” he added, sitting back
-straight in his chair.
-
-He removed his spectacles and reached for the flare of his tie to
-polish them off, but no tie dangled to-day. It was a little black
-store-made bow, fastened with a clip over the collar button. Pidge
-still lingered, her hand on the knob.
-
-“Blessed be the name of the Lord,” said John Higgins, “but it’s hell on
-us.”
-
-She started out, but was called back.
-
-“I need an audience, Miss Musser. I need a female ear. I need ladylike
-sympathy. It isn’t sweet of you to run off.”
-
-“What’s the matter?”
-
-The editor looked at her, squinted, put on his spectacles and looked
-again.
-
-“Do you mean to say you don’t know what’s the matter?”
-
-“Everything is the matter,” said Pidge. “But what’s new?”
-
-His hand nearest her lifted and rested upon a pile of page proof on his
-desk.
-
-“Dicky Cobden hasn’t written a line from the Kong that we can publish.
-We’ve cabled him to come in, though he’s probably started. You’ll
-recall that Belgium lies between France and Germany. She’s holding the
-Germans off from Paris, giving France and England a chance to get set.
-Belgium’s the world’s public square right now, the one vortexical spot
-on the face of the earth. Doesn’t it occur to you that even a new angle
-on her sins in the heart of Africa is about as much in time and place
-right now, as Paul Revere’s ride?”
-
-... Three weeks later, she heard that Richard Cobden was in town; that
-John Higgins had seen him the night before. All that day at the office
-she kept listening for his step and voice, but he didn’t come. His car
-was in front of the Harrow Street house, however, when she reached
-there, and a light showed between the doors from his “parlor.” She lost
-some of the sense of suffocation when she saw that, a curious gladness
-for a moment. She tapped the door with her finger tip, pulled the
-curtain aside ever so little and said:
-
-“Hello.”
-
-A quick step in the inner room; then he was before her in the doorway,
-drawing her in under the light.
-
-“Pidge--Pidge,” he repeated.
-
-The boyish look was gone from him. He might have been taken for ten
-years older. The thing had happened that takes place abruptly in many
-Americans, more among business men than artists: Youth had been put
-away, its trace of divine humor exchanged for adult seriousness.
-
-“Why didn’t you come to the office to-day, Dicky?” she asked.
-
-“I wanted to see you here--like this.”
-
-They were standing under the light.
-
-“Why, you’re different,” she said.
-
-“John Higgins said that. They told me so at home, uptown. I feel
-different, but it isn’t an improvement. And you, Pidge, you’re taller.
-And John Higgins says you’re doing so well.”
-
-“I’m thanking you every day for that----”
-
-She kept thinking about the change in him. If this were selflessness,
-she liked him better before. He had been quite unselfish enough, she
-thought. She didn’t see the fight in him, because it was so subtly
-identified with herself. She only knew that he seemed without fight.
-
-“Keep on your things, Pidge. We’ll go out somewhere----”
-
- * * * * *
-
-That was the beginning of strange days and evenings. They played at
-the old game of _Comrades_. Often they lunched together, occasionally
-with John Higgins for a third. At such times it seemed that they took
-_The Public Square_ with them, subscribers, advertisers, contributors,
-policies. It was that curious time in America when the personal and
-national meaning of the European war was breaking through with all its
-paralyzing ramifications; when all who were sensitive at all reflected
-division and strife in themselves, as a deep leveling sickness.
-
-Pidge was taken to the Cobden home, a new and terrifically complicated
-modern apartment in East Fiftieth Street, but the furnishings, the
-household ceremonials, the people themselves, suggested prints of New
-York interiors in 1870--respectable, established, grim. The gradual
-speeding up of the world for a half century to the explosive point of
-1914 ended with the click of the key in this hall door, and you were
-in the world of another day, with a spinster aunt, a widowed mother,
-an unmarried sister, a slowly disintegrating grandfather, and Dicky
-himself, not in a different guise at all--the same courteous, sincere
-Dicky, but now to Pidge Musser’s western eyes, utterly, revealingly
-comprehensible. This was the place that had made him. This was his
-reason for being.
-
-Here life was life. Here was the family unit, the family a globe,
-all human society moving outside like the water around a bubble;
-a closed globe reflecting all else in curious unreality. Here
-three-score-and-ten was life, and a very long time. Life wasn’t a
-spiritual experiment, in matter; not an extension in matter of souls
-that had made innumerable such experiments, but straight work-a-day
-three-score-and-ten with oblivion at the birth end, and heaven or hell
-at the other. Here was All Time, in which it behooved man and woman
-to gather worldly goods and religious goods and love one another and
-hang together--for the rest was with God. Here senility was dear. The
-heavy-bodied, dim-minded grandfather was still grandfather, not the
-vanishing spirit of him. They would weep when the body passed. They
-would look to his place in the cemetery and say, “Here he lies.”
-
-Pidge Musser wanted to scream, not at the limitations, but at the
-kindness which was showered upon her. They were ready to perform the
-great transaction of taking her in, opening their hearts and house
-to a maiden, who would bring respectable additions to the Cobden
-line--sharing wealth, well-being, gentleness, the Cobden name which had
-been kept clean and useable and virile, and the Cobden God, who stood
-on the other side of death with angelic associates and rewards in His
-hands.
-
-Pidge continually felt that her next word would ruin everything; yet
-they unswervingly regarded her as becoming one with themselves; the
-process of assimilation already begun. They were patient, knowing of
-old that a new maiden would have incrustations of the world to check
-off, inequalities to be planed down. They set about not adjusting to
-her, but as she fancied, assimilating her, as the changeless Chinese
-assimilate a weaker race, breaking down the foreigner in themselves.
-She would become theirs to them with the years.
-
-“Oh, Dicky,” Pidge said, when they were in his car again. “I see. I
-understand. How did you dare to open those doors to me!”
-
-“I spoke of you at home, Pidge. They wouldn’t have understood if I
-hadn’t brought you soon. They were prepared to open their arms to you.
-They have their laws----”
-
-“But they are your laws. Dicky--how did you dare? Is it because you
-don’t know me, don’t see me at all? Do you see something which you want
-to see, that has nothing to do with me?”
-
-“What is it that troubles you so?”
-
-“Myself--always and forever myself! Oh, don’t you see I have nothing
-to do with them? Why, you’re comfortable, Dicky--your people are
-comfortable! _This_ is life to you--this, here and now! It isn’t to me.
-Life’s an exile to me, a banishment and coldness and pain. In all New
-York there are not two such opposites. My God is far away. Yours is
-here--a Person.”
-
-He answered hopelessly: “I can see how it would strike you, but I
-couldn’t cover up on account of that. I belong to them. I’m of them.
-Any front I might put on wouldn’t wear. You had to see us, Pidge----”
-
-Another time she might have seen the fine thing back of those words,
-but she took such finenesses of Richard Cobden for granted, while he
-rarely could understand that she saw anything but his faults.
-
-“It’s queer,” he said, in the same dull hopeless way. “I stand to
-you as the most staid and changeless person, but to my family I am
-dangerous, a fulminant. They love and trust me, but watch me with
-fierce concern. Already I’ve broken more Cobden convictions in
-twenty-five years than all my relatives in all their years.”
-
-His face glanced wearily toward her from the lights of the street, as
-he drove.
-
-“You’ve let me understand too much for one Sunday afternoon,” she said
-in an awed voice, “and it feels colder and lonelier than ever before.
-I even see something of the coming years, Dicky. I see that it means
-Fate, when you say ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ I see that you turn to a girl to
-stay. I see you don’t cheat. I see that I’m volatile compared; that my
-honesty is a fierce effort, a deadly self-conscious effort, and yours
-is an established habit. I’m clumsy at my honesty. I love it terribly,
-but it is still on the outside of me--something to attain.”
-
-She sank back, laughing. “I wonder if it will stay as deadly clear as
-this?”
-
-“You are not making it quite clear to me,” he said.
-
-“I must. Oh, I must. Dicky, please open your soul and listen to
-me--hard, hard! While it’s clear, I must talk. You’ve chosen to be my
-friend. You’ve chosen not to take the easier course of hating me. I
-understand all that better now than the night of the Punjabi dinner.”
-
-“I do, too,” said Cobden, and bitterness of the African rivers was in
-his words.
-
-“Do I have to begin by saying how dear you are--how kind, how utterly
-good it is to know you; what it means to have faith and trust in one
-man?”
-
-“Please not, Pidge.”
-
-“But never forget it, Dicky. It’s the pedestal upon which everything’s
-builded. Always remember that I know you underneath; that I turn to you
-in trouble--not like a brother or father or lover, but what our word
-_comrade_ means--what it will sometime mean to many people! That’s you.
-But, Dicky, because I know you--I can look away! Don’t you see--you’re
-like something done! Having found you, I can turn to other things.”
-
-“I’ll try to see that, but most people find each other differently, to
-stay----”
-
-“It’s because they don’t find what I’ve found. I don’t know what I
-want, only I know there are terrible undone things in me, that other
-people stir to life. I’m lost in persons. Miss Claes and Nagar lose
-themselves in nations. You’re getting to be like them, but I see it
-all in the personal!... Listen, Dicky, if you were to get a woman to
-take to your house--one ready to go in and be a Cobden and a mother of
-Cobdens--I could love her! I could hold to you just as close, though
-secretly. I would expect you to be my _comrade_ just the same--I mean
-just between us--never on the outside, perhaps. What I mean is, it
-wouldn’t hurt me--not the thing we have together.”
-
-His car had come to a stand in the stillness of Harrow Street, but
-still they sat.
-
-“What you mean is--you haven’t any place for me as a lover or a
-husband.”
-
-“That’s like you, but that’s it.... Dicky, you mean to me something
-done, something found. I don’t dare to turn to you and rest. The savage
-undone things in me _won’t_ rest! They demand experiences, life--and no
-one knows better, that they mean pain ... and oh--under your lamp--it’s
-horrible to tell it, but you’ll forgive me later, when you see that it
-had to be told----”
-
-“What are you talking about, Pidge?”
-
-“Under your lamp--in there! He came about a manuscript. He was broke
-and needed help--all his stories refused. He asked to see me that
-night. Miss Claes’ basement was occupied. She sent him up. We talked.
-He wanted something, money, everything. Under your light--he took me
-to him, his coat open----”
-
-Cobden startled her, as he cleared his throat. The silence between them
-had been so deep.
-
-“It meant nothing to him! He was used to it. It was only his way to
-get something--money most, he wanted. It was just as he might take a
-waitress or hall maid--used to having girls ‘fall for’ him. This is
-what I mean--though I understand him, a theatrical mind, a liar--life
-meant something to me that instant, that it never meant before.
-Something I must do, something calling--pain, but something I haven’t
-done!”
-
-“You mean--you mean--it isn’t over?”
-
-“Just that, Dicky, and oh, forgive me! I may not see _him_ ever again,
-but _something in me_ isn’t ‘over.’ I had to tell you--to be honest, to
-learn to be honest. You’ll be glad some day!”
-
-
-
-
-XVI
-
-DICKY FEELS A SLUMP
-
-
-IT was nearly a week afterward when Pidge heard sounds, not of meeting
-only, but of mauling, from over the partitions of Richard Cobden’s
-office at _The Public Square_. Her desk was now in John Higgins’ room.
-The racket was “young”--something of the sort you expect in a college
-fraternity house, rather than in the editorial rooms of a magazine of
-dignified social protest and short story ideals. John Higgins winced
-and glared. Now the stranger’s voice was upraised:
-
-“You’re not seedy, Dick--you’re decayed! If Africa treats a man like
-that, I’m off the Sahara for life.”
-
-Pidge heard this with something of the sense of personal arraignment.
-The ugly part was that it was true, and it hadn’t been the truth a week
-before. Dicky had been changed when he arrived, but the change since
-their ride home from his mother’s apartment in Fiftieth Street was
-more definitely disturbing. She found John Higgins’ eyes upon her and
-started guiltily. He leaned forward to whisper:
-
-“It’s a fact. Something’s eating our Dicky. He’s losing his bounce.”
-
-For once, Pidge did not altogether blame herself. There had been no
-two ways about telling him what had happened under the light. She had
-been challenged to speak on their first evening together after his
-return, challenged every hour of the week afterward; and yet it was not
-until after the words were out, spoken in her particularly ruthless and
-unequivocal way, that she actually saw the power of their hurt.
-
-In Africa Dicky had stripped himself of hope, in the most complete
-way he knew. Africa is said to have a way of helping a man in this.
-Doubtless he had winnowed this hope down to a semi-impersonal concept,
-that straight, clean devotion would win its reward. But Africa alone
-was one thing, and New York with Pidge was another. He had been
-entirely innocent of the possibilities of pain his heart was capable of.
-
-Still they went out together. They tried, furiously tried, but the star
-toward which they had held their eyes, the star named _Camaraderie_,
-was for the present out of their sky. She tried to give herself in
-interest to his particular studies of world politics. His views had
-nothing to do with intuition or prophecy. Dicky gripped affairs on an
-academic basis of economics, and the only light he had to work with
-in relation to the turmoil in Europe was from the same friction that
-had furnished his sparks in Africa--the pain of his own heart. He told
-her of the delicate and dangerous adjustments between the nations, as
-he saw them; the organic play, the push and pull on every national
-boundary; the draw of Russia upon India, for instance; the grim hold of
-the British bulldog; the interatomic play of India, Ireland and Egypt;
-the poison vats of the Balkans, the frowning menaces of the Levant. One
-night he spoke of Italy’s inner and outer stresses, and of her age-old
-hatred for Austria.
-
-“And Pidge,” he said quietly, “you won’t mind my saying it, will you?
-I see it all so clearly when I talk to you. I know you’ll tell me that
-you don’t know anything about these things. You always tell me that,
-but you certainly make me know them better.”
-
-And another time when they were going out together in the evening and
-she had come down from the upper floor with her wrap which he took for
-a moment:
-
-“I’m sure you won’t mind, Pidge,” he said, “if I tell you that the
-little things you wear quite take me over. They actually hurt, and I
-never saw you look quite like to-night.”
-
-This was the quality--more like the words of an older man; a touch of
-sentimentality upon them, as if he were diminished in her presence,
-something in him so whipped it did not dare appear on the surface.
-This was unpleasant to Pidge. The changeless want in his heart
-suffocated her at times; then her affection changed to revolt. She
-became irritable and uncentered, her temper hard to govern. She wanted
-freedom--freedom for something utterly undelineated, but freedom to
-Life (in Miss Claes’ meaning of that word of words) and she saw him in
-such times as one who stood in her way.
-
-One night in the little upper room, in her own particular time of
-self-revelation, as Pidge lay on the borderland between sleep and
-waking, she saw herself like an ogre, and Dicky Cobden like a terrified
-child in a great house, and she was driving him from one room to
-another, from one floor to another, to an inevitable cornering in the
-farthest wing.
-
-Finally an early October evening, and again his car had halted before
-54 Harrow Street. Pidge sat beside him, but Dicky had not opened the
-door.
-
-“Pidge,” he said suddenly, “I’ve got to the end of my rope. I’m not
-making good. I’m all blurred on what we’re trying to do. It’s--it’s too
-much for me here.... I don’t want France or Flanders. I’m going into
-the Near East for _The Public Square_ and a newspaper syndicate.”
-
-“I knew it. I felt it coming, at least,” she said. “And I’ve failed,
-too, all the time. But, Dicky, back of everything, I know there must
-be somebody laughing at our seriousness and stupidity. We’ll see the
-puzzle straight some time. You’ll see.”
-
-They both were sitting straight up.
-
-“Nobody’s--nobody’s shoulder?” he asked with terrible effort.
-
-“No, Dicky. It would only fog us up--all the more.”
-
-
-
-
-XVII
-
-NEW LODGERS FOR HARROW STREET
-
-
-PIDGE MUSSER was ending her second year in the editorial rooms of
-_The Public Square_, when a short story came in from Rufus Melton.
-Meanwhile, his work had begun to appear in magazines of large popular
-appeal. This manuscript, called _The Boarded Door_, had doubtless not
-fitted into any of them. The chief thing about the story to Pidge was
-that her cheeks burned as she read.
-
-This made her angry. Another thing, the story was so familiar to her.
-She seemed to be in and out of Melton’s mind, hearing his typewriter,
-understanding even his corrections. But also she saw what the author
-could not--his fluctuations of fancy, which uncentered the tale.
-
-“He’s beginning to be read,” said John Higgins. “It’s not a bad story.
-We’d better take it.”
-
-“It is not his best work. There’s a cavity in it,” said Pidge. “If it
-were by a new name altogether, we’d write the author suggesting that he
-work over the weak part.”
-
-“Do it,” said John Higgins.
-
-Pidge laughed nervously. “He won’t like it,” she said.
-
-“Don’t mind that. Rufus Melton can write. He’ll have his hour, but go
-ahead and scuttle the ship, young woman. We don’t care about pleasing
-our passengers.”
-
-Back at her own desk, Pidge was smitten with the idea that she wasn’t
-being fair. In the course of reading Melton’s story, she had not once
-forgotten that he had failed to pay back that fifty dollars. Not only
-that, Rufus Melton hadn’t mentioned it; and he was said to be making
-money right now. She had to write the letter to Melton three times.
-Films of ice formed on the sentences and had to be skimmed off, in
-spite of her most rigid effort. She carried the sheet, signed by “The
-Editors,” to John Higgins, with a restless feeling that damage was done.
-
-“That’s just like what Dicky Cobden would say,” he remarked, handing it
-back. “Send it along with the manuscript.”
-
-Pidge wasn’t allowed to forget Dicky Cobden, though Richard, himself,
-was across the world and remained across, apparently groping to find
-the exact antipodes from Washington Square, New York. Between Miss
-Claes’ affection for him and John Higgins’ and Nagar’s; considering her
-occasional use of his “parlor” in Harrow Street and her daily use of
-his old desk in the office, to say nothing of the position she occupied
-through his kindness and care--no, she wasn’t being allowed to forget.
-
-About the same time that Rufus Melton’s story came in to the office, a
-dingy bit of white paper came to Harrow Street for Pidge. It was like
-a paper you would see in the street around a public school building.
-Pidge was awed at the unfailing magic of the post-office authorities,
-that the letter had ever been delivered. It was from Fanny Gallup, who
-had married Albert and left the pasting table shortly after Pidge’s
-change of fortune. Pidge had seen Fanny but once in the meantime, but
-had asked her to write or telephone in case of need.
-
-Pidge found the hall designated in the third floor of a condemned
-building in Foley Street, and was directed to a door through which came
-the sounds of a crying child. Her knock was answered, and the caller
-gradually realized through the shadows that she was being grinned at.
-She smiled back, wondering if the shoeless creature were Fanny’s sister
-or mother. She wore no outer waist and a heavy plaid skirt that was
-splashed with wash water. An infant shrank into the hollow curve of her
-body, and another child sat wailing on the wet floor behind.
-
-“I thought you’d come, Musser.”
-
-It was Fanny herself. Pidge had crossed the threshold to look into
-eyes in which hate and hunger moved in a narrow orbit; narrow like the
-wet spot on the floor, in which the first-born played. Tired back,
-draggled hair, merely a stretched and faded vestige of a girl was Fanny
-Gallup now. Laugh and street talk were gone for the time, at least;
-gone as Albert, the barber, as much a myth as ever, so far as Pidge was
-concerned, though the place hypothecated a male parent. These three
-remaining seemed purposeless bits of life which a perverted scheme
-permitted to live on.
-
-Pidge hated herself for becoming involved in the complication. For the
-moment, she hated New York that could not keep itself clean. No rent,
-no food, somebody else’s washing in the tubs, and the rags of Fanny and
-her children unwashed.
-
-“... No, it ain’t no good to think of staying, Musser, because they’re
-tearing the buildin’ down.”
-
-“How much rent do you owe?”
-
-“Five weeks. But it ain’t no good to pay that, because I got to get out
-anyway. Gawd, Redhead, you look like a doll in a window!”
-
-“Is there any place around here where you can go?”
-
-“It’s hard to get in with the two, and you’d have to pay a month in
-advance,” Fanny said.
-
-“How soon do you have to leave here?”
-
-“Four days. That’s why I sent the letter.”
-
-“Have you got any--anything to eat?”
-
-“That’s why I sent the letter. That’s why they keep squalling all the
-time.”
-
-“I’ll be back before dark,” Pidge said, turning into the hall.
-
-“You’ll--sure--come--back?”
-
-“Sure,” called Pidge.
-
-She returned with her arms full of groceries, and went home promising
-to come back the next afternoon.
-
- * * * * *
-
-“... Bring them here. There is no other way,” Miss Claes said.
-
-“But they’re not clean!” Pidge moaned. “They are too sick to keep
-clean.”
-
-“We can freshen them up a little,” said Miss Claes.
-
-“But there’s nothing Fanny can do, unless the two children are taken
-from her. I mean she’s held to the room with them now, and they’ve been
-crying so long that they can’t stop. They both cry at once, and she
-doesn’t hear them; they look and listen for a second and then go on
-crying. If one stops, he hears the other. The place smelled like a sty,
-and the packages of food I brought got wet and spoiled before they were
-opened.”
-
-“Forget about them until to-morrow, Pidge, and then get a taxicab and
-bring them here. I’ve got a second-floor room toward the back.”
-
-
-
-
-XVIII
-
-AN OUTER CHANGE
-
-
-MISS CLAES standing by the table in her own room heard a step upon
-an upper stairway; not on the immediate basement stairs, but of
-one descending from the second to the first landing. The tread was
-deliberate. She heard it now in the hall directly above. Miss Claes
-moved to the door, her hand against her cheek; then back to stand by
-the table again. Now the step was on the basement stairs. A fire was
-burning in her grate, and that was the main light of the room, for the
-winter morning was very gray. The table was prepared for one--plate
-and cup of ruddy gold, a cutting of white hyacinth in a purple vase.
-The footsteps approached in the basement hall; a heavy bag was placed
-down outside Miss Claes’ door; then Nagar appeared, a dark hat and an
-overcoat upon his arm. He came forward, and the two stood together for
-a moment.
-
-“At least this once, I can serve you,” Miss Claes said.
-
-Nagar smiled as he sat down to the table. Miss Claes went into the
-kitchen and presently brought a pot of tea in a Chinese basket and a
-covered dish. She filled a goblet from the water bottle, and stood
-behind his chair while Nagar ate. The house was strangely silent.
-
-Nagar arose. They stood together again for a moment by the mantel. He
-spoke in Hindi, and she listened, like one already weary, hearing of
-more things to do. Not until she smiled, did he turn away. She did not
-follow to the door, nor look toward the window, as he passed up the
-steps to the street. After a long time, she stepped to the cabinet for
-a cigarette and lit it standing by the fireplace.
-
-
-
-
-XIX
-
-FANNY DRIES HER TEARS
-
-
-FANNY GALLUP was taking life easy. She had not been separated from her
-children, but relieved for the present from the hunger drive to support
-them. Pidge helped to pay Fanny’s room and board, but didn’t miss the
-fact that the main expense fell upon Miss Claes.
-
-“There is a little fund back of me for just such cases, Pidge,” Miss
-Claes said. “I rarely divulge the fact, but there is no reason in the
-world why you should be inconvenienced.”
-
-“Except that I brought her here----”
-
-“I asked you to.”
-
-“Except that she called on _me_ in her trouble, and I worked elbow to
-elbow with her for four months, and she pulls out the very devil from
-me every time I see her.”
-
-“Your feeling of responsibility is what makes you what you are--I never
-miss that, Pidge. If you weren’t so hard and straight on all the tricky
-little matters of dollars and cents, you can be very sure I’d never
-tell you my secret of secrets, about the fund.”
-
-“I’ll have to pay what I can, if only because I hate to so. But I can
-never pay for bringing her to your house.”
-
-Miss Claes laughed. “That is only the way you see it. Fanny isn’t heavy
-on us here. Not at all. It’s the dear, possessive Pidge that is hurt.
-Do you suppose I am torn by what goes on in the rooms and halls? Not
-torn beyond repair from day to day, at least. Fanny’s only a little
-more simple than most, a little less secretive.”
-
-“She’s unmoral,” Pidge declared solemnly. “The awful thing is, she
-doesn’t learn. Life passes through her like a sieve, leaves its muck on
-her, and she doesn’t learn.”
-
-Philosophy seldom helped Pidge; she had heard too much of it, and money
-was invariably a serious affair. In the California life there had
-never been enough money for all needs. Adolph Musser was unable to do
-without what he wanted, even though the immediate tradespeople of the
-neighborhood were frequently forced to. The metaphysician relied upon
-the Law of Providence to take care of them; and this had hacked and
-hewed into Pidge’s disposition; this had meant red war to her soul up
-to the last hour in her father’s house.
-
-Here in New York the fight had been different. Even with Miss Claes
-mysteriously back of her from the beginning, she had faced, in her
-first few months in New York, the ugly candor of starvation. There was
-established in Pidge both from Los Angeles and New York experiences,
-a determination to fix herself unrockingly on her own feet in a
-financial way; and now, just as she might have gotten a bit ahead, was
-the expense of Albert’s children, and the claims of their mother, which
-were getting to look as interminable to Pidge as a ninety-nine years’
-lease.
-
-Another trouble was that Fanny was beginning to show fresh traces of
-her sense of the “fun of the thing.” Her spine was stiffening a little
-with good food and rest, and curious little suggestions of starch
-showed in lips and hair and breast that had been utterly draggled. She
-was often seen hanging over the banisters; sure indication of renewal
-of life and hope. She didn’t weep over the departed Albert; in fact,
-Pidge Musser observed, as an added revelation of the hatefulness
-of life, that Fanny was back on the scene looking for a man--not
-earnestly, not passionately, but without compunction and entirely
-unwhipped. Fanny granted that she was nobody, that she never had been;
-but that was no sign why she should pass up anything that was going by.
-Pain and hunger were forgotten like a sickness.
-
-One night as she was coming in, Pidge heard Fanny’s low laugh on the
-floor above, as she ran upstairs in time to shoo a lodger from Fanny’s
-arms in the doorway. Then she followed into the littered room and a
-light was made. The two women faced. The laugh remained unwithered on
-Fanny’s cheerful face.
-
-“Oh, Musser, you look so cross,” she panted.
-
-“Don’t you remember--?” Pidge began.
-
-“Remember wot?”
-
-“What you were in that beast’s nest in Foley Street?”
-
-“That’s what you always want, Musser, always want me to keep
-rememberin’, just as I’m getting straightened out.”
-
-The fashion of Fanny’s straightening out settled upon Pidge, as she
-looked around the room. Its awfulness was beyond tears to her, even
-beyond laughter.
-
-“Fanny Gallup, if you bring another baby here, I’ll--I’ll----”
-
-“There ain’t going to be no other baby here, Musser. I ain’t nobody’s
-chicken like that.”
-
-
-
-
-XX
-
-THEY WALK IN CIRCLES
-
-
-ONE day just as Pidge was finishing luncheon with John Higgins, she
-was startled to hear Melton’s voice. He moved around their table with
-a fling of his coat tails and held out both his hands. It actually
-sounded, though she never was sure, as if he said something like, “I’ve
-been looking everywhere for you.”
-
-Pidge fancied a sort of rueful wonder on the old editor’s face, as he
-announced his haste to get back to the office, and bolted out.... She
-was recalling the baby carriage in Santa Monica. Melton’s face was
-slightly broader, she thought, and the poise of young success was upon
-it. One thing she had never known before was how remarkably well his
-curly head was placed upon its shoulders. The neck was not merely a
-nexus, but a thing of worth in itself, with arch and movement which
-made him look taller and intimated something light and fleet, touching
-memories which Pidge could not quite grip.
-
-They were together in the street. Melton had asked her to walk with him
-to his bank. He seemed on both sides of her at once, his hand drawing
-her deftly this way and that through the crowd, his chat and laughter
-in her ears, and an old indescribable weariness and helplessness in
-herself.
-
-“... Sure, I could have hunted you up. In fact, I would have done it
-eventually, but I haven’t been in New York all the time; running back
-west to get my stuff up, now and then.”
-
-“I thought you lived in New York,” Pidge said.
-
-“I keep an apartment in East Twenty-fourth Street,” he granted.
-
-A lull for just an instant before he went on:
-
-“You see, it’s handy to my publishers, and my bank is only a square or
-two away.”
-
-Pidge wished she could accept him for just what he seemed--the upstart
-American in literature. She wished to forget everything else, save the
-youth who said, in effect, “This is my bank, this is my solicitor,
-this is my publisher.” But she could not smile her scorn and pass on.
-She felt like the parent of a child showing off. Back of the tinkle
-and flush of these big days of his, which he seemed to be drinking
-in so breathlessly, she felt more than ever that thing about him
-which was imprisoned. A thing it was that called to her, kept calling
-beseechingly.
-
-“I’ll never forget,” he said, speaking of the fifty dollars--“I’ll
-never forget that night, when I left you--and the fog in the Square.
-Everything was different, after that.”
-
-“You didn’t go to Cleveland that night, as you said,” she declared,
-watching the curve of his black lashes.
-
-The eyes darted her way.
-
-“Lucky, I didn’t,” he said. “God! How I wanted to! New York had me
-bluffed that night, before you came to the rescue.”
-
-“Why didn’t you go?”
-
-“I was up close to Grand Central with my bag, when the idea struck
-me--the idea that has since come out in the story series that has
-caught on. I could hardly realize that I had your money. I kept it in
-my hand--the hand in my pocket. That was a turning point in a life. New
-York had frightened me pretty nearly to death--the hunger thing, you
-know. All I wanted on earth was to crawl into that train for Cleveland,
-but it was as if you were calling on me to stay.”
-
-She turned in pain and amazement. He was looking straight ahead and
-talking softly. She saw every twist and drive of his mind as he
-dramatized the situation unfolding to him. He was deeply absorbed in
-the pictures which his fertile brain uncovered one by one. It hurt her
-like the uncovering of something perverted in herself.
-
-“Don’t go on like that,” she said. “You’re not working now. You are
-just walking in the street. You mustn’t make stories when you talk.”
-
-He glanced at her sorrowfully, as one realizing in himself a truth so
-big that he is willing to wait for it to be believed.
-
-“It is God’s truth,” he said. “That was the turning point in my
-career--that night--the night I turned back from the train. It was as
-if you were calling me, and it was as if the idea came from you. I knew
-I had to stay on and do the work here, close to the markets.”
-
-She looked into his face and laughed.
-
-“And you could forget me--forget the fifty dollars for nearly a year!”
-
-“I don’t blame you for talking that way. I expect to be
-misunderstood--not me, but the thing I stand for.”
-
-She was hushed. Could he mean that he suffered in conscious conflict?
-Could it be that he was aware at all of that imprisoned thing she saw
-back of his eyes? He had halted, and now she turned again for him to go
-on.
-
-“I hoped that you, you of all, might understand,” he said. “Why, it was
-from you that the whole thing started.”
-
-He seemed actually to be making himself believe it. She felt herself
-trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.
-
-“Do you know you’re changed?” he said, in sudden exultation. “Do you
-know you’re five times as charming? What’s happened?”
-
-“Nothing has happened,” said Pidge.
-
-“It was the strangest shock, in the restaurant when I saw you. I knew
-it was you, and yet you’ve put on something--out of the ordinary.”
-
-“Oh, don’t.... I must go back to the office now.”
-
-“The bank is just half a block. We’ve been walking in circles. I hadn’t
-a check in my pocket.... I wanted to walk with you anyway. Do you
-really have to get back to the office?”
-
-“Oh, yes.”
-
-“Couldn’t you--couldn’t we go down on the river or to a show somewhere?
-I know what you’re thinking: that if this meant so much to me, how
-could I let it go for nearly a year. But you’ll understand. You’ll see
-what I mean and what I’m up against. The thing was too big for me to
-rush in. I had to wait. But now that you’ve come, I can’t let you go.”
-
-“I must go back.”
-
-“To-night then. Couldn’t I meet you at _The Public Square_ at five and
-have supper?”
-
-“Oh no. I must go home--first.”
-
-“May I call for you at Harrow Street, say at seven, or before that?
-Say, couldn’t we go to that old restaurant where we went that night?”
-
-This idea had come to Pidge before he spoke; exactly, perhaps, as it
-caught his fancy.
-
-“Yes, I could----” Pidge cleared her voice, and spoke again above the
-roar of the street. “Yes, I could.”
-
-Then because she had lifted her voice, she seemed to hear her own tones
-unforgetably, as if her soul echoed back the words.
-
-“But I must hurry back now,” she added.
-
-“Let’s get this bank thing finished.”
-
-But when they reached the door of the bank they found it closed for the
-rest of the day.
-
-
-
-
-XXI
-
-THE DINNER COAT
-
-
-JOHN HIGGINS came up through the newspapers and magazine editorial
-rooms in those brave days when a typewriter did not always go with a
-man’s desk, but a cuspidor nearly always. Even yet, the editor of _The
-Public Square_ tucked a piece of fine-cut between his cheek and lower
-jaw after breakfast in the morning, and forgot about it just so long
-as it was there. The fact that he smoked from time to time caused no
-inconvenience to the wad of shredded leaf. He complained of indigestion
-and gave himself wholeheartedly to various forms of diet.
-
-He kept Pidge Musser close at hand during these trying war days. His
-former stenographer languished. John Higgins found a singular peace in
-working with Pidge and was innocent enough to discuss it. He was an
-old integer so far as women were concerned, never getting beyond the
-rare confession (when a few drinks ripened his mind) that he had had
-a mother once. He didn’t hate women; nothing like that. He had just
-merely walked around them as you walk around the shore of an ocean. He
-wasn’t born with a bathing suit and the idea of taking off his shoes
-and stockings made him hoarse with fright. Pidge, however, had crept
-in through the business door, and John Higgins awoke to find her at his
-side.
-
-Pidge found him like a somber relative of the elder generation, when
-she returned from her hectic walk with Melton that afternoon, but for
-once she could forget John Higgins easily. Twenty times in her mind, at
-least, Pidge went over the talk and walk with Melton, her face often
-turned away to the window with a sad but scornful smile. She thought
-it out with hard sophistication, all that he had said of receiving
-inspiration from her, but underneath she wanted it to be so; and deep
-among the secrets of herself, she felt that what he said was possibly
-truer than he knew.
-
-Had he known that the bank would be closed? She would soon learn about
-that, for he had promised to bring the check to-night. Even if he
-didn’t, she could never forget that _calling_ to her, back of his actor
-eyes--calling like a child of her own. New York whirled by below; the
-manuscripts were piled high in front and side. A Mecca letter came in
-from Richard Cobden, intimating that he might go to India. Even that
-did not arouse John Higgins, nor startle Pidge Musser from the painful
-web she was in.
-
-Melton was at the basement entrance at seven. As Pidge went down to
-meet him, Fanny Gallup was coming up. They met in the second hall.
-Fanny stood in the gaslight, her arms open wide, her dress open at the
-breast, her eyes laughing.
-
-“I saw him, Redhead. He’s a God-awful, that boy. Don’t you bring no
-little baby to this house! I won’t stand for it.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-Melton wore a black cape coat, a dinner coat beneath. Pidge felt as
-if she had left all her light in the second hall. She was exasperated
-with herself for pushing past Fanny and not taking the joke gracefully,
-exasperated with Melton for togging up to come to Harrow Street, to
-take her to that old eating house. Couldn’t he resist showing off for
-just one hour?
-
-Some awe seemed to have fallen upon him, or rather between them. In
-silence they rounded the almost empty curve of Harrow Street, and
-presently entered the crowds and lights and crashes of trestled Sixth
-Avenue. On the corner, as they crossed Eighth Street, Pidge heard a
-newsboy behind say, “There goes a movie actor.” Pidge deeply knew what
-that grimed child-face had seen.... It troubled Melton to find the
-restaurant, and she didn’t help, though she had located it a score of
-times since that other night. At the table, while they waited, he took
-a fifty-dollar check from his pocket and handed it over, saying that
-the real part of the favor he would try to pay bit by bit through the
-years.
-
-“Because I’ll never get very far from you again,” he added queerly.
-“Find it very funny, don’t you? Sit there chuckling, don’t you? You can
-laugh, but it’s true.”
-
-Now Melton began to ask for things which weren’t on the bill-of-fare.
-He told the waitress how things should be prepared and served--this in
-a side-street eating house, that specialized in beans and encouraged
-counter trade. There were hard lines around the mouth of the waitress
-which Melton commented upon, as she turned her back. Pidge had a
-warning to hold her temper, and yet she would have died first.
-
-“I’ve never worked in a restaurant,” she said, “but I’ve worked in a
-factory, and I know what those lines come from. They come from dealing
-with people like you, people who forget where they are, forget what
-they come for.”
-
-“How do I forget where I am?” he asked.
-
-“Because you don’t know that this is a place where they serve ‘eats.’
-‘Eats’ are cooked all one way. ‘Eats’ are served fast in business
-hours, and the waiters sit around and gasp the other times, trying to
-catch up with themselves. And you don’t know where you are, because you
-try to show these people and me that you’ve seen how it was done in
-uptown hotels.”
-
-A trace of sullenness showed in his eyes, and then a warmth of almost
-incredible delight.
-
-“It’s great! I never was scolded in my life!”
-
-“It wasn’t for supper alone--that wasn’t why I fell into the idea of
-coming here,” she said. “You forget it entirely. You dare to come in a
-dress suit--here--here!”
-
-“Listen,” he begged, “don’t run away with that idea. I thought we might
-go to a theater afterward. I didn’t think so much about where we were
-going as I did that I was coming to you. I didn’t have anything better
-than this to put on, and so I came this way.”
-
-A moment before it had seemed the most righteous and perfect thing
-under heaven to vent a few scathing remarks, but now she felt twisted
-and diminished. Long and religiously she had tried to keep her rages to
-herself. Neither spoke while the plates were being served, and then he
-said:
-
-“I was horribly out of true, in telling these people how to do it, but
-I wanted it good for you,” he added simply.
-
-She looked at him hard, but the intensity of her trying that instant
-kept her from reading what was really back of his eyes.
-
-“It’s plenty good enough for me,” she said. “I came here once when I
-had only twenty cents to live on that day--I remember the stool, that
-fifth stool, I sat on. I spent my twenty cents all at once,” she added,
-“and the grub was so good that I could have wept in the arms of the
-woman on the other side of the counter.”
-
-“Was that when you were working in the factory?” he asked.
-
-“No,” said Pidge, “it was before I got the job. I ate regularly after
-that.”
-
-“Where was the factory?”
-
-“Oh, way up in the other end of town. I labeled tins, salmon tins,
-baking powder tins, cocoa tins.”
-
-“To get local color?” he asked.
-
-“To get food. I sat at a big table with a lot of girls, and in the
-hours and hours, in the monotony of the days, I found out how easy it
-is to get hard lines around the mouth. I learned to understand just
-enough to learn that I know nothing, and that’s a lot.”
-
-She was thinking of what a tension she had been in to escape from Fanny
-Gallup.
-
-“I worked on a ranch in Wyoming,” Melton observed, “cattle ranch.”
-
-“What were you doing on the Tunisian sands?”
-
-“Just ramming around the world. I got in bad with an Arab sheik. It was
-while running away from him that I got lost in the desert.”
-
-She saw his eyes kindle in the prospect of narration, his faculties
-forming a fresh tale, which she could not bear to hear that moment. She
-forestalled his fruitfulness.
-
-They were in the streets.
-
-“No, I don’t want to go uptown,” said Pidge. “I don’t feel like the
-theater to-night----”
-
-“Wouldn’t you like a ride on the harbor? The ferries are empty this
-time of night.”
-
-“No, we’ll cross over to Harrow Street.”
-
-“May I come in? There’s so much to say. It’s just--finding you
-again--Pan.”
-
-“Not to-night. I want to be alone.”
-
-He didn’t answer. She felt a little better after that. She had thought
-it might be harder to have her way. There seemed always something he
-could not say behind his words. It wasn’t _all_ lies. It became clear
-for a moment that he would follow after her--so long as she could run
-ahead; that he would only turn away and forget when she paused to
-breathe or play.
-
-“I feel strange,” he said in the silence of Harrow Street. “It is
-strange to-night. It’s like finding the house one has been looking
-for so long--the house, even the door, but not the key. Pan,” he said
-suddenly, “give it to me. Give me the key. It’s you--it’s yours----”
-
-His strength was without strain, the strength that is effortless,
-the strength of laughter. He had taken her to him suddenly, and she
-dwelt in it, though resisting; something ecstatic, even in holding
-out.... She heard voices in herself and faces flashed through her
-mind--Cobden’s, Fanny Gallup’s--but her arms and shoulders and breast
-knew a terrible sweetness from his strength. It wasn’t hateful. It was
-like her own boy, not a stranger. His laughing face was nearer. It was
-coming to hers. In the dark she could see it, eyes and eyelids, curving
-nostrils and laughing lips. She knew something would die in her when it
-touched ... that she was dying now of the slowness of its coming. She
-ceased to struggle, and all that she had known and been arose within
-her to meet his lips.
-
- * * * * *
-
-She was on the second flight of stairs. She almost prayed that Fanny’s
-door would not open. She wanted to be in her own little room, the
-smaller the better to-night--no touch or voice upon her. The key turned
-in her trembling hand. She was safe, the door locked again. She stood
-in the dark. Her lips moved audibly:
-
-“Am I--is it because I am my father’s child?”
-
-
-
-
-XXII
-
-A LETTER FROM PIDGE
-
-
-RICHARD COBDEN moved up and down the Near East for a long time, looking
-for the men they had told him about in school and college--the men who
-make history, and are said to contain in themselves the greatness of
-their race. He sailed with sailors, talked with the diploma-ed talkers,
-rode with soldiers. He found men who would do for their countries what
-they wouldn’t do for themselves, but the energy of their fidelity to
-their countries was balanced by their enmity toward other countries.
-They gave themselves to the heresy of fighting one part of the human
-family for the alleged enhancement of another. It took Dicky a long
-time to change the brain tracks made in school and college, that the
-names of history might _not_ be the names of men who walked with God,
-whose intellects pained from sheer power. Nor was he spared from the
-suspicion in all his discoveries, that he was the one who was wrong,
-that he had become softly insane in the midst of new ideas.
-
- * * * * *
-
-When he essayed the thing Miss Claes spoke of at the Punjabi dinner--he
-started something which he meant to live up to. The fact that it was
-harder than he dreamed; an effort, in fact, involving dreary years,
-hadn’t broken his resolution so far. One of the terms of the Punjabi
-dinner covenant, for such it had become to him, was not to lose himself
-in the easy way of hatred, nor to help himself to forgetfulness by
-casting Pidge Musser’s image out. He knew that the “one” she had spoken
-of was Rufus Melton. Through months, covering two years, the figure of
-this young story-writer rose higher and higher in his consciousness,
-as the person of the Enemy, himself. It was Melton, all unknowing, who
-vanquished Dicky in his weaknesses, and at best was only kept at bay
-in his strength. Not to cast her out, not to hate; to know the slow,
-steady burning of the heart that is focalized upon a woman, and to
-realize that this woman may be turning to another!
-
-There were really extraordinary days of service in Arabia with young
-Tom Lawrence, whose fame Dicky Cobden helped to make; desert days of
-camel back and Turk fighting; desert nights of smoke and tea in such
-starry stillnesses, that one almost expected the Christ to appear;
-then, after many weeks, mail at Mecca, and one letter from John
-Higgins, which was read several times:
-
- ... You have done several good things for _The Public Square_; but
- you never did a better thing than wishing Miss Pidge Musser on our
- editorial rooms. She’s brand new every morning. She’s honest, and a
- worker. She has brains and a whole lot of psychic viscera, sometimes
- designated as Soul.... Also she’s a stenographer. Never whispered
- it until one morning when Maneatin’ Dollie was ill with the flu.
- My letters were piled up. “Give them to me,” she said. I did that
- thing, and I’ve been dictating my editorials ever since. It’s like
- talking to an intelligent audience. When I get opinionated and lose
- my balance, not seeing the other side of a question, this child sits
- up and looks disturbed.... I’m sending you separately our Brooklyn
- Bridge contemporary with a story called _The Salt Pit_. If it isn’t a
- little man of a story--I don’t know one. Hers.... Of course, you know
- why she didn’t give it to us. She thought I’d take it on her account
- and not for the story.... And still we stay out of the War. They’re
- sending over one big imperialist after another from London, trying to
- get us in, and all that’s flunkey in Washington, rocks--but so far,
- we’re only sinning commercially.... Give us more of the inky desert
- nights, Dicky, and young Lawrence.
-
-Dicky reached Bombay from Aden in the spring of 1917. He was now on his
-way home, the long way around. He had told no one, but it had grown
-upon him of late that he could relish a bit of New York after more than
-two years. He coldly ignored in himself the tendency to thrill at the
-thought of seeing Pidge Musser again. He had made a bit of a name for
-himself as a reporter, but was known more as a first-class fact-getter
-than a feature writer among newspaper men. Facts were sometimes so
-bleak in his work that one had to possess real understanding and real
-love for honest materials to find the inherent beauty and order. His
-knowledge of international politics was now granted by all classes of
-newspaper men, but he was known especially from his articles in _The
-Public Square_ as one who exerted a steady pressure against America
-entering the war.
-
-To be cool was said to be Cobden’s religion. The stuff that he wrote
-was cool and the words that he said. “I am a reporter, only,” he
-occasionally explained. “I write what I see, not my own reactions nor
-opinions.” He had come far in this doctrine, far enough to be trusted
-by white men of place in Turkey and the Holy Land, in spite of his
-curious scorn for war. He was somewhat slower now to get enthused over
-human actions than he was when he left New York; his boyish humor had
-become grim. He had seen the worst things men do, and written a few
-of them. Though he had been through as much hard riding in two years
-as any empire-building Englishman, he seemed to retain no personal
-relation to his adventures.
-
-Other men talked about him, however. There was something about the
-American that made it easy for others to “sketch at him.” Tales of his
-far chances with Tom Lawrence in El Hejas, for instance, had followed
-him up into Turkey, but no one knew his tendency to nausea in a pinch.
-
-Dicky had written a lot of big newspaper stories, but they were
-stories of the day. He had packed the films of tense and frightening
-and humorous moments away somewhere deep in his brain, to the end of
-massing them all into one--one day doing the Big Story, that had to
-do with finding a Man. That dream had held since the day he first saw
-Nagar. But in his heart of hearts everything was a side issue--world
-politics, world wars, newspaper stories, magazine stories, even the Big
-Story of all--compared to the war in himself over a girl named Pidge.
-He still had night sweats over the name of Rufus Melton.... A quiet
-voice, a tired smile, a face darkened and dusty looking from exposure,
-even after a clean shave--out of this face, usually shadowed by a big
-cake-basket helmet of cork, shone a pair of steady eyes in a fine mesh
-of dusty brown wrinkles--Dicky at twenty-eight.
-
-He had scarcely stepped ashore at Bombay when he heard that the States
-had entered the war. He touched the sleeve of an Englishman who was
-looking up at the promenade deck of the ship with eyes and mouth wide
-open.
-
-“Tell me, I hadn’t heard,” Dicky said hoarsely.
-
-“She’s in, but I must say, sir, she took a long time about it.”
-
-“But that cannot be!” Dicky answered.
-
-Now the Englishman stared, this being the peerless rebuke. Moreover,
-he observed that the American had a sudden withered look, and presumed
-that he was a mere upstart person. Accordingly, the Englishman refixed
-his triple focus on the ship’s promenade deck, and Cobden tunneled into
-the bus for the _King George_. There he verified the news. He went to
-his room a bit whipped, quite a little bit whipped. He wanted to be
-alone. For two years he had written and felt for America as only an
-exile can. He had believed in her luck and native horse sense in the
-midst of the mess other countries were making of their national lives.
-
-Something snapped when he had been alone in his room for a while. It
-was Dicky’s romantic allegiance to the country of his school histories.
-For the present he was a man without national gravity, and a sick man
-since some hot, hard-held part of himself had been ripped out.
-
-He had missed his mail in Aden and left word for it to be forwarded to
-Bombay on the next steamer. A cablegram from his newspaper connection,
-rewired from Aden, not only counseled him to make haste to double back
-to France (to be on the spot to greet the first American military
-arrivals), but accepted it as settled that there was nothing else for a
-man of his equipment now to do. The message was actually elate with the
-“doings” ahead, but Dicky Cobden didn’t see it that way. The fact is,
-he was sore, personally sore, at what had happened and didn’t care who
-knew it. The following ship brought his mail, including a letter from
-Pidge Musser, which he opened with an old and ugly fear, and in this
-letter the worst that he had ever feared fell upon him:
-
- ... Oh, Dicky, there is no other way. I’ve tried to dodge it, but it
- has to be told now, that I have taken Rufus Melton. Why did I do it?
- I don’t know, unless it is that I am evil and unfinished and answer
- to the evil and unfinished in him. He draws me terribly, but at the
- same time, I am not deluded. There is never a moment with him that is
- not unmixed with pain.... I wonder if you can believe that I did not
- do this thing for happiness; that the happiest moments I have ever
- known have come from my work with John Higgins and my friendship with
- you? And can you ever believe that I am no farther from you now, in
- that mysterious comrade way?... Oh, Life is not like books, Dicky,
- not at all like what we are taught it is. I have a relation to him.
- I answer some terrible drawing need--like a child crying for me.
- But I have a relation to you, too, only different. You mean rest,
- something done. He means the unfinished. He brings a mirror to me,
- and says, “Look!” I want to scream, because the mirror brings out
- all my defects. That’s what his presence means.... This is one true
- thing, Dicky. The one who can rouse the most hell in your breast is
- the one to whom you belong for the time. At least, that is true to
- me.... Have I not been grateful for your stability? And have I not
- been proud for your moving so quietly up and down the East, keeping
- your surfaces clean for the world events to be pictured there without
- twist or falsehood?... A strange door was opened in my being when I
- was a child. In and out that door, whether I will or not, you often
- come and go. “He is my friend,” I whisper, “my friend”----and repeat
- it a thousand times.
-
-
-
-
-XXIII
-
-THE RED ROOM
-
-
-LINE by line the thing was killing him. He got up and crossed the heavy
-red carpet to the hall door and turned the key in the lock. He was
-afraid some one would come in and find him. He had the strange power
-of partly seeing himself, as the sullen horrors of hatred and revolt
-boiled up in his breast. Vaguely, but quite well enough, he could watch
-the man called Richard Cobden in the dim hotel room, the shoulders
-hunched, the mouth stretched and crooked; unable to sit still, the face
-wet with poisonous sweat.
-
-The love had gone out of him, and with it, all the light he had. He
-thought he had known pain and loneliness since leaving New York, but
-all he had known was humming content compared to now, because there
-had been a laughing idolatry for all her ways and words, a reliance
-upon her that he had dared to call absolute. “Understand, understand!”
-she had cried all through the letter.... Oh yes, he could understand.
-She wasn’t what he had made her out to be--that was clear enough. He
-had built upon something which wasn’t there. He had believed her to
-be--built into himself the conviction--that she was the honestest thing
-alive, and here she was----
-
-His thought shot back to the night of the Punjabi dinner. That little
-basement room was devastated before his mind, the table overturned,
-the face of Miss Claes a mockery, the face of Pidge Musser--that of an
-American girl found out. Into the center of his consciousness was now
-flung his old promise not to hate.... He heard his own laughter. He saw
-his own stretched and twisted mouth from which it came. Like a couple
-of sly schoolgirls, they looked at him now--Pidge and Miss Claes--slyly
-pulling together and duping a fat boy....
-
-He saw his room key upon the table. Number Five, it was, the fifth
-floor. He looked around the dim papered wall--whitish-red like the
-pulp of raspberries--the deep upholstered chairs, the seats slightly
-crushed, the full-length mirror, the ash tray, the silver flask on the
-writing table, his own things here and there orderly enough--all but
-himself, a sort of maniacal Mr. Hyde. Number Five. He would remember
-this room where he had fought it out, too, about America entering
-the war. He poured brandy into a whisky glass. The stuff eased him a
-little. It made the pain all the more poignant, like a stove getting
-hotter, but also it seemed to give him the power to move back a little
-from the stove.... He stood up in the dark and shook himself.
-
-“Oh, you ass!” he muttered. “You awful ass!”
-
-In the light of a match, as he lit a cigarette long afterward, he saw
-the rest of his mail on the table, one letter from Miss Claes. He
-couldn’t get head nor tail out of that at first. She seemed to be
-talking about something he had said about finding a Man. Oh, yes. He
-had written from Mecca, mentioning Tom Lawrence and his search for a
-Man. He snickered now at himself through the fogs of his own past and
-present. Then a line seemed to stand up before his eyes. “... If you go
-to India, go to Ahmedabad. Nagar is there. You are in danger of finding
-your Man.” Later that night, still in the dark, his back straightened.
-He laughed and said aloud, failing altogether for the moment to see the
-absurdity of himself.
-
-“Number Five--queer little old musty room, I wonder who died here?...
-Good night, Pidge; good night, dear America--grand pair to tie to!”
-
-The next day he cabled to his newspaper connection that he was not
-returning to France for the opening campaign, at least; and wrote
-to John Higgins that he didn’t expect to send in much stuff for the
-present. “I may stay awhile in India--just looking around. She smells
-like a typhoid ward, and needs orderlies.... I’ll, of course, let you
-know what comes of my _spectating_.”
-
-Still he did not start at once for Ahmedabad. He locked himself in
-Number Five through the days and walked the streets of Bombay at night,
-walked like a man in a strait-jacket. He wasn’t conscious of this at
-first, until he began to feel an ache from the tension of his neck
-and shoulder muscles and tightened elbows. When he forced himself to
-relax, however, the torture of his thoughts was accentuated. He had
-been holding himself rigidly to help fend off the destroying rush
-of mental images. He walked himself into one sweat after another for
-the nights were hot and humid. The point of all his fighting was to
-keep Pidge Musser out of mind. Of course, he could not succeed. She
-came in by every door. She came in softly, she came in scornfully, she
-came in singing, scolding. Mostly she came in saying, “Why, don’t you
-see, Dicky, I am nearer and clearer than ever?” Then it was as if an
-isolated bit of shrapnel would explode in his brain.
-
-His whole fabric of world politics was demolished. It looked to him
-like a tapestry that has been hooked up out of a sewer--all that
-careful weaving and balanced pigmentation! Before the day of the letter
-he had prided himself that his building in the past two years was good
-and strong. Now he faced the pitiful discovery that every block of his
-building had been placed upon this platform: That even if he couldn’t
-have her, no one else could. This smelled to him now. Forever after, it
-smelled to him like the sewage lanes of old Bombay.
-
-Dicky had a good body. After two weeks his physical vitality began to
-steal back. The love was gone, but out of the debris of Subramini’s
-Punjabi Fireplace, the face of Miss Claes came up faintly smiling
-again. Another letter came from her, which he read in dismal irony
-several times on the day before he took the train for Ahmedabad--the
-last day in Number Five, with its wall paper of raspberry crush. He
-couldn’t make sense out of the letter. She seemed to love Pidge, even
-to respect her. Miss Claes wrote, “It gives me quiet joy to know
-that Nagar is near you. It will be good for him and good for you. A
-great dearness for you both goes from this house, as you sit and walk
-together.” Miss Claes also repeated in her letter that “love never
-faileth”----
-
-All very pretty and possible, no doubt; it sounded good, but it was
-no longer his sort of a project. This wasn’t for the product of three
-generations of hardware merchants and manufacturers. Funny, he thought,
-how he had ever accepted visionary stuff like this. He would write Miss
-Claes some time how he had failed, but not now. On the night train, he
-felt India closing about him really for the first time. Once when the
-train stopped, he smelled the altogether indescribable earthiness of
-hills that had been sun baked all day, now letting it be known through
-the moistness of the night. It was vaguely like home to him; not home
-in America, but home on earth again, the faintest symptom of his
-reallegiance to life here, only known to one coming up out of sickness.
-In the early morning he lay for a while after awakening in a sort of
-bodily peace. It was as if he had really rested a little, as if he had
-left behind some utterly miserable part of himself in the red room at
-Bombay.
-
-“A bit questionable,” he muttered whimsically, with the trace of a
-smile, “a bit shabby and questionable to leave a bundle, a black bundle
-like that, in Number Five--for some one else to stumble over.”
-
-He fell asleep again and reawoke with a curious sentence on his lips;
-something that he had forgotten a long time, something that Miss Claes
-used to say: “Nobody knows Nagar--nobody.”
-
-“Nobody ever will,” he added, “if he doesn’t talk any more than he used
-to.”
-
-Again at breakfast the faintest little quiver of organic ease stole
-into him. The earth was very bright outside and the pot of tea that had
-been brought tasted actually sane. He had the feeling of being on the
-way somewhere, of having escaped something, as he watched India slip
-by from the window of his compartment.... Then Ahmedabad, the station,
-a Hindu in white garments, almost taking him in his arms--laughing,
-talking like an American--Nagar talking!
-
-
-
-
-XXIV
-
-MISS CLAES SPEAKS
-
-
-ONE Sunday morning about three weeks after the luncheon with John
-Higgins, during which Rufus Melton came to the Chop House, Pidge found
-Miss Claes alone in the basement front.
-
-“We’d like to come here to live. Is there any chance?” she asked.
-
-“Yes, it can be managed, I think.”
-
-Pidge regarded her with a kind of cold fixity and added: “We were
-married night before last. Rufe seems willing enough to come here. I
-hate to leave this house, but I didn’t think you had the rooms.”
-
-“I’ll make a place for you; a little place, at least. But, Pidge----”
-
-“Yes?”
-
-“Why haven’t you come to me all this time?”
-
-“I know how fond you are of Dicky Cobden. I haven’t hoped any one could
-understand.”
-
-“Being fond of Richard Cobden doesn’t make me less fond of you.”
-
-“How could I expect you to understand me, when I can’t understand
-myself?” Pidge demanded. “I am two people, and they are at war.... No
-use lying about it. I fell for him, knowing him all the time. Not for
-a minute did I lose track of what he is. But I wanted him. Something in
-me answered--that’s all.”
-
-“I’ve always loved that honest Pidge,” said Miss Claes.
-
-“Think, if you like, that it’s part of the evil in me that talks this
-way about him, but I am talking about myself, too.”
-
-“You could never see all this clearly--without ‘falling for’ him,
-Pidge.”
-
-“What do you mean?”
-
-“I mean it would remain a hopeless, unfinished puzzle--if you had run
-away from Rufus Melton.”
-
-“I couldn’t run away. I wanted him,” Pidge repeated. “But there’s
-another side. There’s something in him that I seem to have known from
-the beginning--something like a little child that I left somewhere ages
-ago. It keeps calling to me from his eyes, and I leave everything to go
-to it--everything that Dicky means and the world, even writing--I leave
-all that. And yet when I go, when I go to his arms, I lose the purpose.
-It’s as if the child that I run to--the irresistible thing that calls
-to me from his eyes--stops crying and stops needing me! Then I suddenly
-know that it must need me and not be gratified, ever to be helped. Oh,
-no one on earth could understand that. It’s insane.”
-
-“But, Pidge, I do understand.”
-
-“How can you?”
-
-“Because I have loved like that, because I have had experience. I loved
-an English boy in the same way--oh, long ago. I love him still, but I
-could not stay with him, because he--why, Pidge, it is just the same.
-He needs to cry for some one, for something, otherwise he remains
-asleep in life.”
-
-“You’re saying this to help me.”
-
-“What I’ve lived through _should_ help you. It was the hardest thing
-I’ve ever known--that I couldn’t forget everything and have him, just
-two alone in the world. But when I went to him, he was satisfied and
-looked elsewhere. I almost died of revolt.”
-
-Pidge’s eyes were very wide. “And when you didn’t go to him?” she said
-in slow tones. “What happened then?”
-
-“It was then that he remembered and reminded me that I was half-caste.
-Also he looked elsewhere, just the same.”
-
-“And you still love him?”
-
-“Deep underneath--that is not changed.”
-
-“But what is Nagar?”
-
-“Nagar means the other world, Pidge--a new heaven and a new earth. He
-means the not-wanting love, the willing-to-wait love----”
-
-“I’m not like that,” Pidge said with old bitterness. “I want love in a
-room! I want to shut the world out. I don’t want the love of the world,
-but love that’s all mine. And I can’t--I can’t have it!”
-
-She was breathing deeply, staring at the fire.
-
-Miss Claes glanced at her wistfully a moment, her lips faintly smiling.
-The girl’s face had never been so lovely to her. It was like land
-that has had its rains after long waiting--soft blooms starting, an
-earthy sweetness rising in the washed sunlight. The beginnings of both
-laughter and tears were in Pidge’s wide eyes; her red-brown hair, from
-which the henna was long forgotten, had an easy restful gleam in its
-coils.
-
-“Why, Pidge,” Miss Claes said at last, “you’re like one who has been
-born again. It’s wonderful. I had almost forgotten what that love does
-to a woman, at first--for a little, little time.”
-
-“And you knew that kind of love--with the English boy?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“And Nagar knows.”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-Pidge shivered.
-
-“... Rufe brings the fight to me, makes every undone thing rise
-and live! He brings the most terrible disappointments, the crudest
-disorder, yet that which would pay for it all, if I were just a simple
-peasant woman, is denied. Why can’t we shut the door and just live? Why
-can’t there be a kingdom for two?”
-
-The form was soft and gliding in Miss Claes’ arms. The
-square-shouldered little figure of the mill and office girl had
-become almost eloquent with its emotional power. After a moment Pidge
-straightened, her face staring into Miss Claes’.
-
-“Why don’t you answer?”
-
-“I can only say, Pidge, you are called to learn the next step, the next
-lesson in what love means. You want the love that has two ends, but the
-Triangle is ready for you. Oh, many are learning the mystery of the
-Triangle. It hurts so at first, but it lets the world in--the bigger
-meanings of life.”
-
-Pidge shivered again. “Is it blasphemy,” she asked, “that I feel just
-as close to Dicky Cobden--as ever?”
-
-“No more than the finding of bread would spoil your taste for water.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-Pidge said at last:
-
-“Oh, I don’t want to leave this house, Miss Claes. He says he’ll come
-here, too.”
-
-“I’ve been thinking of putting a bathroom on the third floor. There’s a
-tiny empty room like yours across the hall. The bath shall be installed
-there. You know I’ve kept Nagar’s room empty. It is pleasant and larger
-than yours. I’ll have a door cut through the partition, and with a bath
-across the hall you will do well enough for a time.”
-
-“You would give us Nagar’s room?”
-
-“Nagar has the key to the whole house,” said Miss Claes.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Moments afterward, Pidge’s strong fingers closed over the hands of the
-other.
-
-“No one can know how it hurts me--to think of Dicky----”
-
-“He is with Nagar now.”
-
-“Do you think--can it be possible that Nagar will help him--as you help
-me?”
-
-“Nagar and the Little Man,” said Miss Claes.
-
-
-
-
-XXV
-
-“BE IT EVER SO HUMBLE”
-
-
-THEY were ensconced in the two upper rooms. Pidge kept up her work
-at _The Public Square_, and did not come home for luncheon. She had
-told John Higgins of her marriage but the subject was not mentioned
-afterward. The old chief vanished for three days following the news,
-and when he came back there was a new dignity on his part for Pidge
-to cope with. She found her position a trifle uncentered. His old
-stenographer took his letters, and he wrote his editorials on his own
-machine as aforetime. John Higgins said little, but found flaws in her
-judgments that had not appeared before. He no longer risked availing
-himself of her entire equipment; this change being apparently on the
-basis that he dare not get used to it all over again. He seemed to hold
-the idea that it was only a question of days at most before a married
-woman would forget place and town entirely and rush off to pick up
-pieces of wool and thread for a nest.
-
-Pidge had built so much of herself into her work that there was
-emphatic pain in the new conditions. She needed the work more than
-ever now, but _The Public Square_ was falling into sorry days and
-ways. There was nothing to say but War, and if you didn’t like War,
-didn’t see the divine uses of War and say so, you had better say
-nothing. There was no field in the world at this time for a magazine of
-dignified or any other kind of protest, and in the steady loss of money
-week after week, the struggle became one of great simplicity--to stay
-alive.
-
-“Higgins is a rotten old knocker anyway,” said Rufus Melton. “This is a
-time for Americans to stand together and not criticize the government.
-He never did pay any real money for his stuff, but was always ready to
-tell you where you fell down. They’re telling him a word or two now.”
-
-So Pidge didn’t speak much of _The Public Square_ at home.
-
-Rufus vibrated between a depression when his stuff wouldn’t come
-through and an exaltation when it did. He was quite sincere in his
-industry, but slept late in the morning. Pidge was up and away four
-mornings out of five without waking him. Sometimes Rufe decided to eat
-his “big meal of the day” in the middle of the afternoon, in which
-case Pidge supped alone. He was slow to get his work started, so that
-it was often evening before he got “all of himself working at once.”
-Then he was apt to stay with it for several hours, in which case Pidge
-could sleep if she got a chance. Occasionally he found that he could
-dictate a bit of first draft and Pidge undertook at first to help him
-in this way, but when she perceived that it didn’t occur to him, in the
-flush of his evening powers, that she had worked all day and must work
-to-morrow, she decided to stay off his night work.
-
-“I can’t, Rufe,” she said one night on the way to bed. “It’s so
-fascinating to practice napping in the hushes and rushes of your
-machine.”
-
-“You won’t take this stuff?”
-
-“No.”
-
-“You won’t?”
-
-“It will interfere with your work session if you lose your temper. Of
-course, we’ve got the whole upper floor to start something in, but we
-must think of your story.”
-
-“Whose work counts in this outfit?” he demanded.
-
-“Yours, Rufe, by all means. A fine patriotic short story at any price.
-But I have a job to look after, and I can’t give them a red-headed
-somnambulist to-morrow. No, I’m going to sleep, but I do hope you get
-the American flags waving all right in your story.”
-
-“I’ll get you, Pan--for acting like this.”
-
-“You’ve got me, dear, and don’t forget to have the hero come through
-with, ‘My country right or wrong.’ No girl can resist that--or editor.
-Good night.”
-
-Rufe was rarely rough. He didn’t overtire or over-stimulate himself, so
-that his temper could easily break corral; and at its worst this temper
-wasn’t a man-eater. Rufe’s nervous system was cushioned in a fine layer
-of healthy fat, and therefore didn’t flog itself to madness against
-bare bone and sinew. He was merely involved in himself entirely, which
-makes any man naïve.
-
-Pidge wasn’t missing any of the petty dramas of her present
-experience. When she came home the first time to find that he had
-already had dinner, something flew out of her into space in a frantic
-search for God. When she realized that he saw nothing but undisturbed
-equity in the idea of using her for his own work purposes half
-the night, when she was contracted to _The Public Square_ for the
-days--another output of herself was loose in the solar system. When she
-came to understand that the tens he was earning were mysteriously his
-own, and that her ones were theirs--another day, at least, was spoiled
-for her in the editorial rooms.
-
-Rufe thought her extremely selfish. So had her father. “Two to one,”
-she said. “They’ve got it on me. They’ve got it on all of us. This
-is their world.”... She thought of all this bitterness and bickering
-taking place in Nagar’s room, which Miss Claes had saved for weeks
-for a sort of sanctuary of her own. Mostly she was hurt by the deadly
-parallel of this life, with her life in Los Angeles and vicinity. To
-cope with this American story-man, she was forced to draw out and
-readjust and refurbish the old hateful mechanism that had formed within
-her during the nineteen years with her father. She knew how. The
-mechanism worked all right, but the sense of the hateful thing resuming
-activity within her was far harder to bear than the racket of Rufe’s
-typewriter when she was trying to sleep.
-
-The fact that Rufe Melton was entirely cut off from the play of her
-real powers; that he thought her ridiculous, and said so, when she gave
-any notice of holding other than the standard American points of view
-on politics and religion and social ethics; this was not so serious a
-breach between them, as it would have been to a woman who had not come
-into so startling a reaction as Pidge had, against the whole system of
-knowing and not doing. All the knowledge that really mattered to Pidge
-was that working doctrine which doesn’t announce or explain, but shows
-itself in living the life. She was very sad, and continually sad, that
-she had to work upon Rufe the iron of irony, the stab so subtle that it
-astonishes before it hurts, and the self-control which disarms.
-
-Sometimes Sundays or in unexpected periods of leisure they had moments
-of actual delight together. This occasionally happened when food just
-pleased him, or when an acceptance from a magazine arrived at a price
-which he considered adequate. (Rufus never neglected the price of his
-things, as an indication of his getting on.) He uncovered a real levity
-at such times, and their talk didn’t walk merely, then; it danced.
-
-“We’ll go up to Harlem,” he said one Sunday morning. “I used to live up
-there in the colored settlement----”
-
-Figuratively speaking, Pidge waved her hand before her own eyes to
-shut out the critical negatives which always arose when Rufe told of
-living somewhere. They went and stayed gay. When he turned from her
-innocently to consult a policeman in Harlem, she checked the first and
-last, “I told you so.” They found yams that day--yams freshly arrived
-from Georgia, and coffee said to be parched and dripped according to
-an ideal of New Orleans first families. These satisfied Rufus, and
-still they stayed gay. Even his, “I could take you around to a lot of
-queer dumps in this man’s town,” didn’t upset anything. Altogether that
-day was memorable.... Once in desperate fatigue, when there were moving
-dark spots before her eyes in every ray of daylight, Pidge cried to
-Miss Claes:
-
-“But he is lost to everything, entirely oblivious to everything but
-himself and his work--his stories, his fame, his winning his way!”
-
-“I know, Pidge, but the world is on top of him yet. He is fighting his
-way up and out. Romance can’t be entirely satisfying, you know, when it
-has ambition for a rival. You’ve told me something about the thrall of
-a book in yourself--how engrossing it is.”
-
-“That all goes out of me when I’m with him,” Pidge said suddenly. “I
-never thought of it before, but all that old agony to produce another
-book that I used to feel is gone. I seem to let him carry all that.”
-
-“That helps for the present, doesn’t it?”
-
-“Yes, and it isn’t all sordid--don’t think I mean that, Miss Claes.
-Sometimes when he’s satisfied with his story, so that he can forget it,
-we have such good times. He’s such a playboy, such a playmate. Some old
-terrible longing comes over me when we are close like that, just to be
-like one of the Mediterranean women, who know nothing but to replenish
-the earth. But it doesn’t do to dwell on that,” Pidge finished with an
-impressive quietness of tone. “One thing I learned rather well, before
-it was too late.”
-
-“What’s that, Pidge?”
-
-“That this isn’t the time or place for us to bring a little baby into
-the world.”
-
-
-
-
-XXVI
-
-THE HANGING SOCK
-
-
-NAGAR was changed. On the day that Richard Cobden reached Ahmedabad,
-he encountered one of the surprises of his life. It was like meeting
-a man out in the freedom of the world, whom one had only known before
-in prison. Two years in the East had sharpened Dicky’s eyes to note
-something in Nagar’s face that he had been unable to detect before.
-Dicky called it cleanliness and calm, but this brought up the old
-difficulty which he never missed in his work of writing--that at best,
-words only suggest, only intimate.
-
-In America Nagar had looked dark; here he looked fair. There he had
-moved in and out as one of the colored men; here he was one of the
-elect. There he had lived in the midst of silences and mysterious
-inhibitions, diminished by the garments of Western civilization; here
-he was white-robed in the sunlight, like young Gautama in his father’s
-garden. Of course, Dicky knew that the change was more substantial than
-that of garb or place. He could only repeat that Nagar seemed free in
-his own mind.
-
-In the first few moments at the station in Ahmedabad, Dicky had himself
-felt unwashed and unwholesome, as no man ever made him feel before.
-His hand went up to his chin. Yes, he had shaved that morning, but
-realizing it did not help much. It wasn’t the grime of travel that hurt
-him, but the smear of his recent mental and emotional overturning, the
-ugliness of all those days in the red room at Bombay, and the sense
-of failure and loss he lived with constantly since the coming of the
-letter from Pidge.
-
-“... And the Little Man is actually here in Ahmedabad, and not a myth?”
-Dicky had asked, as they drew out of the crowd at the station.
-
-“Not only that, but you are to go to the _Ashrama_ now, if you will. He
-is eager to have you come.”
-
-“His house first?” Dicky asked.
-
-“It is also the house in which I live,” said Nagar.
-
-“You mean you wish to put me up in your quarters?”
-
-“If you would not mind our great simplicity.”
-
-“Thanks, I should like that,” said Dicky, “but I think it would be
-better for me to follow the usual course of a foreigner and find hotel
-quarters.”
-
-The _Entresden_ was not crowded and Dicky obtained comfortable quarters
-in a northeast room where the upholstering was covered in clean tan
-linen, and the _punkahs_ showed signs of life immediately upon their
-entrance. Nagar prepared to leave as soon as Dicky sat down in the air
-crossing between two shaded windows.
-
-“I will come for you this afternoon if you wish to go to the _Ashrama_
-to-day,” he said. “It is some distance from the center of the city.”
-
-“Sit down, Nagar; don’t hurry off.”
-
-“I thought you would prefer to rest until after _tiffin_.”
-
-“Stay and we’ll have it here. You’ll pour the tea like the old days in
-Miss Claes’ room.”
-
-Nagar’s face was in the shadows, but there was a soft shining as of
-polished silver in or around his eyes. At times, shutting his eyes as
-Nagar spoke, Dicky could almost believe he was back in the basement
-at Harrow Street. The way Nagar said to him, “my friend,” was almost
-Miss Claes herself. That was the poignant part of finding the Oriental
-again; that he brought back Harrow Street--even moments under the white
-light. The day would have been joyous but for the aching emptiness of
-heart. Dicky asked tirelessly about Gandhi, especially since it gave
-him such a chance to study the new Nagar.
-
-“Mahatma-ji has burned away all waste,” Nagar said at length. “He
-has narrowed himself down, body and mind, to an almost perfect
-obedience--self-control. He measures action to all his words. The best
-he knows, step by step, he performs.”
-
-“Where did you hear of him first?”
-
-“Here in India--of his work in South Africa. I went there to know him
-better--followed the gleam, as you might say. I stayed four years. It
-was he who encouraged me to go to America to study more of the spirit
-of the West.”
-
-“What’s Gandhi’s message to these people?”
-
-“He believes that politics cannot be successfully divorced from
-religion,” Nagar said. “His message always is toward the spiritualizing
-of India’s political life and her institutions. The spiritual
-predominance of India, which he idealizes as being the real destiny of
-India, can only be effected by her rebecoming herself, by the return of
-the Motherland into herself, by her ceasing to imitate all the ways of
-western civilization.”
-
-“But if she returns into herself, making her own goods, cutting herself
-off from all institutions of the present government--England will be
-done for here.”
-
-Nagar bowed without the trace of a smile.
-
-“I’ve heard that every turn of a spinning-wheel in India takes part of
-a turn from a power loom in Manchester,” Dicky added.
-
-Nagar further acquiesced.
-
-“And that isn’t politics?... I think I’ll go in for religion, myself.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-“It is very good to have you here,” Nagar said later. “Mahatma-ji will
-also be glad. He has asked much about you and believes that you may be
-a means of making many in America understand. It is a saying with us
-here that ‘to understand is to love.’”
-
-“But I didn’t come here with any set idea, you know.”
-
-“The work you will do for us in America will be the better for that.
-The more reason and rationale you bring----”
-
-“Evidently it’s easy for one to go off his head where Gandhi is,” Dicky
-said.
-
-“His effect on some is subtle and strong.”
-
-“I’ll keep a stiff bridle arm. Say, Nagar, have you stopped to think
-how I happen to be here to-day?”
-
-“Tell me, please.”
-
-“One hanging sock.”
-
-“I do not understand.”
-
-“One hanging sock. It was that which made me go out into the reception
-room in the first place, that day you brought the story to _The Public
-Square_. I heard the office boy say to J. H., ‘He keeps pulling up his
-sock.’ I went out to see. So that’s what made me go to Harrow Street,
-and meet Miss Claes and the rest and go to Africa, and come here. I
-believe that’s what started the World War.”
-
-Nagar laughed. “I always had such trouble in the early days with
-American clothing. I would get one part working and another would give
-way----”
-
-“But, Nagar, what made it so imperative for you to have the two hundred
-that day?”
-
-“A ship was leaving within twenty-four hours for the Mediterranean to
-connect with South African ports. Mahatma-ji was greatly in need of
-funds to carry on his work.”
-
-“I thought you were ill--possibly starving.”
-
-“I was ill from strain--self-consciousness. It was one of the hardest
-things I ever had to do--to stand up against America in the office of
-_The Public Square_.”
-
-“You certainly put it over. But what made you so silent in New York?
-It’s an actual shock to find you chatty and human, like this.”
-
-“Certain of us in India are trained differently from American ways. You
-perhaps have read that in the Pythagorean schools, a period of silence
-was enjoined among the young men. It was so in my training. We seek to
-silence all opinions, all half-truths, all thinking, in fact, in order
-to _Know_. We postulate, of course, a center of Spontaneous Knowledge,
-or Genius, above the mind. To learn obedience to this, one takes a vow
-of silence----”
-
-“Ah, I remember! Pidge--Miss Musser--I mean Mrs. Melton, told me
-something of the kind!”
-
-
-
-
-XXVII
-
-THE MAHATMA AND THE MIRACLE
-
-
-COBDEN heard the voice before he saw the man. Standing in a darkened
-hall of the bungalow, spoken of as the _Ashrama_, the voice of one
-speaking English in easy cultured tones reached his ears. When the door
-opened, he saw several native young men sitting upon the floor and a
-wasted Hindu figure in the center--a little man in a thin turban more
-like a skullcap; a homespun loincloth, his bare feet beneath him upon
-a mat of coarse cloth, a rough pillow at his back. The young men about
-him had risen, but the central figure merely lifted and extended the
-hand.
-
-“Mr. Cobden from America,” Gandhi said. “Nagarjuna has made us eager to
-welcome you.”
-
-Even Nagar withdrew, but one of the boys returned bringing a chair.
-
-“If you don’t mind, I’ll try sitting on the floor, too,” Dicky told the
-latter. “I’d feel perched with Mr. Gandhi sitting below.”
-
-The Mahatma smiled. “I quite appreciate,” he said. “I hope you will
-find in India the same kindness that you gave Nagarjuna in New York.”
-
-Dicky had expected power; he found composure. His idea of power was
-perhaps in part a hang-over from a boyish ideal of a certain American
-financial executive. Nothing of that in this room; rather he was
-conscious of Gandhi’s frailness and smallness. This presence called
-forth impulses to be tender, to lower one’s voice, to hurry to bring
-anything wanted. He was shocked a little at the twisted, battered
-look of the features. The lips looked pulpy in parts and did not rest
-together evenly. The smile was curiously slow--tentative, like one in
-whom understanding dawns. Back of the iron-rimmed spectacles and tired
-eyes, so inured to pain, was the essence of fearlessness. This was the
-first commanding characteristic to the American.
-
- * * * * *
-
-“... Fear,” Gandhi was saying, “fear of death makes us devoid both of
-valor and religion. There is no place for fear in the _Satyagrahi’s_
-heart.”
-
-“What is a _Satyagrahi_?” Cobden asked.
-
-“One who is devoted and pledged to truth, to _Satyagraha_. I coined the
-word, to express our purpose in South Africa. _Satyagraha_ is the use
-of Love-force or Soul-force.”
-
-Curiously, Dicky felt the cleanness of the house, the peace of it, the
-humming of a _charka_ in the next room, a symbol of that peace. He felt
-Gandhi’s face growing upon him out of the shadow, a face that had been
-dried cleanly by many suns, the features fashioned by a life of direct,
-unpredatory thinking--the face of a man incapable, even in thought,
-of hitting below the belt. And now, there was to go with the hum of
-the _charka_, the faint fragrance of dried fruit in the air, or that
-sweetness one breathes in the altitudes where the sun is shining upon
-the great conifers.
-
-“The world has talked much of the omnipotence of God,” Mahatma-ji went
-on. “India, at last, is preparing to put her faith to test. Passive
-resistance has been called the weapon of the weak; if this is so,
-the Soul is weaker than the flesh. Passive resistance calls upon its
-devotees to endure great suffering, even martyrdom and death. Those who
-believe it is too difficult to carry out do not trust the Soul. They
-are not moved by true courage.”
-
-There was no pose nor show, no straining for force, rarely an adjective
-or simile, no shadings of sense--a direct approach, inevitably direct.
-Dicky felt suddenly hopeless of ever understanding such directness. For
-the first time in his life, he realized that all his training to live
-and to write was less than straight. He had been taught half-tones,
-shadows to accentuate lights. Here was directness.
-
-Gandhi resumed: “It is the sacred principle of love which moves
-mountains. To us is the responsibility of living out this sacred law;
-we are not concerned with results.”
-
-“No such thing then as righteous anger?” Dicky asked.
-
-“There is not for us. Anger is the misuse of force. Anger in thought is
-an enemy to clear thinking, to understanding. To understand is to love.
-Anger in action tends to become violence, and violence is the negation
-of spiritual force. In fact, only those who eschew violence can avail
-themselves of their real powers. Only those who realize that there is
-something in man which is superior to the brute nature in him, and that
-the latter always yields to it, can effectively apply this force, which
-is to violence, and therefore to all tyranny, all injustice, what light
-is to darkness. For the exercise of the purest Soul-force, prolonged
-training of the individual Soul is an absolute necessity.”
-
-Just now Dicky was contending with the feeling that he was in the
-presence of an evangelist or healer. He had difficulty for the moment
-in recalling that Gandhi was world-trained; a lawyer of London’s
-careful making; an opponent of governments in South Africa; a man
-found powerful enough in his own person to be reckoned with by the
-established laws of men of high place.
-
-“We have many things to ask of England,” Gandhi said, “and she has
-promised us her attention, as soon as her present difficulties give her
-freedom of heart and hand to attend our wants here. To press our wants
-now, or to force our desires upon England in her crisis in Europe,
-would be taking an unfair advantage. So this is a time for us in India
-to cleanse and prepare ourselves for future action, sacrifice if
-necessary----”
-
-At one moment Gandhi’s face was dull and unattractive as a camel
-driver’s; again it shone with a high clear calm, like the ideal most
-of us have of a saint or a priest. Now the instant came, as the words
-stopped, that Dicky seemed to be looking into the Indian face actually
-for the first time, and Gandhi was looking _into_ him. The American was
-uncentered for a second or two, as he had once felt in the quick sag of
-an airplane in a bit of rough going.
-
-It began to become clear to the caller that there were only a few
-constantly vibrating themes in this man’s talk: the necessity for
-nonviolence; the control of self, essential before the control of
-others can be contemplated; the establishment of altruism as a basis
-for all political activity; the return of India into her own destiny of
-a handicraft civilization, which involved the making and using of her
-own goods and the turning of her back upon the “monster of a mechanical
-civilization”; freedom of speech, devotion to truth, fearlessness,
-always that.
-
-Dicky now actually contemplated the look of unearthly calm in the
-eyes of the man before him. Was it fanaticism--this fearlessness
-which Gandhi put into practice? Was there a soul-calm back of the
-human nervous system, a central calm that a man could reach and abide
-in, that made anything negligible that men might do to the body? Was
-there something really that Miss Claes and Nagar and this man talked
-about--something that went on and on, that loved one’s enemies, that
-loved one’s love, no matter what this life effected to keep them apart?
-Was it worth going after, since every ordinary viewpoint seemed changed
-in those who had touched it?... Surely India was getting him going--he,
-Dicky Cobden, of the family of trowel makers! In amazement, he realized
-that he was responding to some stimulus like the finest wine--that if
-he didn’t get out of here soon, he would fall to telling his troubles
-like a man who has had too many drinks.
-
-Gandhi was speaking of his workers and devotees here in Ahmedabad; the
-manner of their life together:
-
-“So in our _Ashrama_,” he explained, “every child is taught to
-understand political institutions and to know how his country is
-vibrating with new emotions, with new aspirations, with new life.... As
-for men and women living and working together in the _Ashrama_, they
-must live the celibate life whether married or unmarried. Marriage
-brings a woman close together with a man, and they become friends in
-a special sense, never to be parted in this life or in the lives to
-come; but I do not think that into that place of life, our lusts should
-necessarily enter.”
-
-Dicky had scrambled to his feet from the floor.
-
-“I won’t take your time any more just now,” he mumbled haltingly.
-
-Mahatma-ji watched him with a look of gentlest understanding.
-
-Dicky backed out. He was in the street alone.... The young men had
-not restrained him in the slightest. They had seemed to understand
-that he must be alone. Even Nagar had only walked at his side a
-moment in the hall, to say that he would come to the _Entresden_
-after dinner.... He was alone in the outskirts of the city with the
-miracle. Somewhere among Gandhi’s sentences about men and women, it had
-happened--somewhere in there, when he had spoken about--yes, that was
-it, “about friends in a special sense!...”
-
-A pariah dog yelped, running out of a doorway, almost banging into his
-knees. He was in a narrow street, and had to step upon a doorsill,
-while two men passed dragging at a cart. He saw their bare ribs and
-salt-whitened loin cloths. The sun was still high; the stillness and
-heat almost fetid in the byways. He passed a native market place by the
-river, and out of all the moving multicolored crowd, he remembered only
-one parasol of jade green, though he did not see the face beneath.
-
-His American-trained mind scoffed against the thing that had happened,
-but his heart held on serenely.... What did this little world-warrior
-with the battered mouth know about love and living with a woman? What
-did he know about lusts that he spoke so freely of? Did he ever give
-three years of his life to the one battle--not to hate the woman he
-loved most under heaven? Or was that particular battle so far back in
-his experience that he merely spoke of it as one skirmish in the great
-campaign of fifty years, called Life?
-
-Alone at dinner at the _Entresden_, Dicky conned every word the Little
-Man had spoken about the young married people who worked together in
-the _Ashrama_, of the celibacy they vowed themselves to, of their
-becoming through marriage “friends in a special sense--for this and all
-lives.” Yes, Gandhi talked as if it were a foregone conclusion that
-there were other lives....
-
-He wasn’t tasting his dinner.... He came up from the deeps of
-reflection to realize a waiter was coming toward him, as if in answer
-to a signal. He also discovered that he had been sitting over his
-filled plate with one hand lifted--the thumb and fingers brushing
-together, as if he were close to _her_, and it was a bit of her dress
-or a wisp of her hair between his fingers. His mind could scoff all
-it pleased, for his heart held serenely to the miracle, and this was
-the miracle: that Pidge Musser, married or not married, was back alive
-in his heart; and such a melting pity for her plight had come to him
-as he sat before the Little Man, that he, the hardheaded, had to rise
-abruptly from the interview and rush away, lest he fall to weeping and
-explaining all.
-
-
-
-
-XXVIII
-
-THE RACK OF SEX
-
-
-DICKY and Nagar sat under the _punkahs_ in the room at the
-_Entresden_--that stillest, hottest night. A fierce stimulus
-was driving the American. Moment by moment he realized it more
-clearly--that his love had come back to him, or some strange new fire
-from it, as he had talked with Mahatma-ji. It compelled him, mind and
-emotion now, and his questions were insatiable, but he was slow and
-roundabout in getting to the core of matters that fascinated.
-
-“For instance, what makes him starve himself?” Dicky asked.
-
-“He has no illusions about fasting,” Nagar answered. “Mahatma-ji
-objects to the distractions of the body. He keeps down this drum of the
-senses by severity of handling, an old well-tried way of the East. Ask
-an expert horseman what to do with a spirited saddle horse that has
-a tendency now and then to take the bit and run away. ‘Cut down his
-grain, and he will be easier to handle,’ you will be told.”
-
-Dicky was groping feverishly within himself as the other talked. “But
-what has celibacy to do----” he halted and finished, “with politics and
-all that?”
-
-“Mahatma-ji has made himself free from the rack of sex and the drum of
-the senses--enough to realize his great work for others, for India. We
-who follow him wish to do the same. We understand that we have not the
-great gift for India, until we are free; that is, only a man who has
-freed himself from his own desires can help greatly to free others, or
-his country. We are not free agents so long as we are on the rack of
-sex. We cannot hate ourselves off that rack; in fact, we must learn to
-love more, not less, to escape.”
-
-“Tunnel,” Dicky said. “No man educated on the Hudson can get that sort
-of thing. Have a heart, Nagar.”
-
-“It is my poor telling----”
-
-Dicky smiled and smoked: “I can’t see how he’d have anything left to
-give the world,” he added--“a man who got on top of himself that way.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-The thing that Dicky had found in the same room with the Little Man
-wasn’t happiness, but it was better than the deadness he had known;
-good to feel the tissues of his heart alive again, not a leaden lump.
-
-Again the next day, he went to sit with Mahatma-ji, but nothing
-happened, though he remained two hours. On one side he had come to
-doubt the whole business; on the other he had been naïve enough half to
-believe that all he had to do was to enter the presence of the Indian
-leader to get this living thing back in his heart, this pain that had
-the breath of life in it. Two days afterward, however, while he was
-deeply involved with Gandhi’s explanation of _Satyagraha_, taking notes
-so that he could put down the other’s words almost exactly, the sense
-of Pidge Musser’s presence and plight was suddenly with him again,
-renewed within him, the pity of it almost more than he could endure.
-
-There were hours also when Dicky could believe almost anything at the
-_Ashrama_, where he was permitted to sit with the native students
-(Gandhi often halting his speech in Hindi or Guzerati, to talk English
-for the American’s benefit). And occasionally during long evening talks
-with Nagar, on the banks of the Sabarmati or under the muffle-winged
-_punkahs_ in the _Entresden_ room, Dicky’s mind had sudden extensions
-of range. Still he had a vague foreboding that he would not be able to
-hold all this hopeful stuff when he was away from India, for slowly and
-surely he was being pressed to depart.
-
-“America needs your loyalty now,” Nagar said. “We will send for you
-to come when the curtain rises here. The drama of India is not being
-played now, but the Play is written. This that you have heard, so far,
-is only a rehearsal of minor parts.”
-
-In June, a letter came from _The Public Square_, pressing its
-correspondent to return to France, or at least to some of the points
-where the American troops were gathering.
-
- ... As for magazine conditions, Dicky [John Higgins wrote], they
- couldn’t be worse. Our little old _Public Square_ has fallen into
- sorry ways.... If you’ve had a German neighbor for thirty years and
- learned cautiously to respect the beast, you’re supposed now to
- know him no more, in trade or whist or home or club, nor his woman
- nor children. Old England’s bloomed out more seductive than ever,
- and this country’s infatuated. You couldn’t believe it. We’re more
- English than Canada right now. She’s borrowed everything in sight
- and is so tickled over herself that she’s beginning to laugh at us
- already. It’s a fact, her big business men can’t keep the joke any
- longer.... But I only meant to tell you that _The Public Square_
- has nothing to say, nothing to do. We tried a critical study of the
- architecture of a federal building in Des Moines, and we’re being
- looked into for unpatriotic motives. A lot of American business
- men, who once gloried in their breadth and toleration, have taken
- positions in what they call the Department of Justice, and their
- business is to probe into speeches and writings like ours. They are
- looking for heresies of citizenship. If we’re not suspended for
- making a croak, we’ll likely be forced to suspend for not having the
- breath. Otherwise, we’re quite well, and the trade world--you ought
- to be able to hear American business boom, even in India--if you’re
- not too far inland.
-
-For the first time John Higgins’ views looked diminished to Dicky
-Cobden’s eyes. This personal treason he laid to India. He made an
-arrangement, however, to help _The Public Square_ to keep alive....
-Gandhi was called to Lucknow, and Dicky saw him into his third-class
-coach, with a catch in his throat and a sadness of heart. A day or
-two later he left Nagar at the station where he found him--and the
-day looked dull and gloomy from the windows of the Bombay _Inter
-Provincial_, as the American started south alone.
-
-
-
-
-XXIX
-
-RUFUS’ PLAY DAY
-
-
-RUFUS MELTON was having his coffee at Miss Claes’ table. It was noon
-and July, 1917. The package of mail left at 54 Harrow Street had not
-forgotten Rufus this morning. Another story had gone through, and he
-felt that the day was all right. It looked to him like a very good day
-to play and to shop. Miss Claes came in from the kitchen in a fresh
-white dress and canvas shoes, nor did she come empty handed. A crystal
-and silver marmalade jar was in one hand, and a plate of cold ham in
-the other. These she placed on the cloth before him; and noting that
-the loaf of rye bread lay uncut upon the board, she went to a drawer
-for the knife.
-
-Rufus dropped a cube of sugar into his coffee cup and contemplated
-Miss Claes’ ankle. His mind became industrious. He was thinking how he
-would describe the ankle if he were using it in a story. He thought
-of several narrow white things. There was a white greyhound, but you
-couldn’t say a woman’s ankle was like that. There was a white pleasure
-yacht on the river, with narrow lines and clipper bow that bore a
-psychological likeness, but it would take a paragraph to put that over.
-The boneheads would think of boiler plate. Then there was a birch tree
-and a polar bear and a snowy church spire ... anyway the ankle was
-fetching.
-
-“You look great this morning, Miss Claes, and see here----”
-
-He spread out his letter from a most rich and inaccessible editorial
-room.
-
-“How interesting, Rufus. You are doing so well with your stories.”
-
-“Pidge thinks they’re rotten,” he chuckled.
-
-No comment from Miss Claes.
-
-“She’d have me sit in a cave and growl over a story--bringing one out
-every three months for editors to muss their hair over and finally turn
-down. That’s the life----”
-
-Miss Claes had turned to the cabinet of dishes, the double doors of
-which were open. One might have thought that Rufus was now entirely
-involved in the subject of Pidge’s idea of stories, but in reality he
-was studying Miss Claes’ waist and throat and profile. Her particular
-freshness from boots up this morning fascinated his eye. She took his
-coffee cup to the kitchen to be refilled, and when she came back close
-to his chair, Rufus’ arm moved engagingly around her hips, his face
-turning up with a questioning boyish smile.
-
-“What is it, Rufus?” she asked, making no movement to be free from his
-arm.
-
-“You’re mighty charming this morning----”
-
-“It’s a charming morning.”
-
-His arm tightened a little, yet she stood perfectly still. Rufus was
-now in a quandary. This sitting posture had its diminishing aspect:
-yet to arise and disentangle his feet from under the table, he must
-loosen his arm or show an uncouth line to the camera, so to speak.
-Rufus rarely broke his rhythms in these little performances; certainly
-not when the going was as delicate as this. Miss Claes had become
-especially desirable, because of an exciting uncertainty about her, and
-an affectation, at least, of allegiance to Pidge. If he had only had
-sense enough to turn his chair around, before taking her in. Presently
-Rufus reached the conclusion that it was better to draw her down to
-him, than take a chance of getting his arm around her again.
-
-She came--no resistance, no rigidity. His lips found her shadowy
-cheek, and an indescribable and most disturbing fragrance from her
-neck and hair. Or was it the extraordinary coolness of everything that
-disturbed, or the words gently whispered in his ear:
-
-“You’re such a lonely boy. You don’t understand at all what you are
-really dying for.”
-
-Rufe was disappointed. So hers was the mothering game. Besides his
-position was uncomfortable, knees under the table, and his coffee was
-getting cold. So he let her go after all, in order to reach a standing
-posture, but by the time he was free of the chair and the table, Miss
-Claes had vanished without haste into the kitchen. Rufus now stood
-dangling inconveniently between his breakfast and her return.
-
-She came; he went to her. Her dark eyes were utterly calm, no traceable
-deepening of the color in her face. She halted, but lightly held in
-the two hands before her was a gold-edged dish, with a little golden
-globe of butter in the center.
-
-Rufus dropped back in his chair and lifted his coffee cup. What on
-earth could a man do with a woman holding a butter dish? “It’s hell to
-be fastidious,” he thought, in regard to his own inhibitions.
-
-Something delectable had gone out of the July day. Miss Claes was no
-nearer his understanding than before. Pidge would have the laugh on
-him, because these women could never keep anything to themselves. He
-didn’t mind anything about Pidge so much as her laugh. Altogether, this
-little brush at breakfast left him unsatisfied--and this was a play day.
-
-“Thanks,” he said at the door.
-
-She gave him a pink, an old-fashioned white one. “The
-butter-and-egg-man brought in some from his dooryard garden in
-Yonkers,” she said.
-
-Rufe started upstairs.
-
-There were voices from one of the rooms on the main floor, but the
-second was entirely empty and silent until a rear door opened and Fanny
-Gallup looked out.
-
-“Hello,” she said in a far-reaching whisper.
-
-Fanny’s “hello” was one of the best of her little ways. She said it, as
-one would cast a silken noose.
-
-Rufe looked back and down. On certain mornings he would have growled an
-answer and tramped on, but there was something white and calling about
-the face in the dim shadows this morning, and for a wonder the kids
-weren’t squalling.
-
-“Oh, come in. Come on in!” was in his ears. Her bare arm was raised
-and he saw the little muffler of dark in the pit of it. The lacing was
-gone from the smock, moreover, and there was a pull for the moment
-to Fanny’s sad little breast. The fact that the smock had once been
-Pidge’s, Rufe thrust back into his mind for future reference. He
-halted, looking around and listening again. Then he tiptoed in and the
-door was shut. Not a great while afterward the door was opened, the
-crying of children was heard. Fanny was moaning, “Don’t go ’way--oh,
-don’t go ’way!”
-
-But Rufus breasted past her muttering within himself, “Never again!”
-
- * * * * *
-
-... Pidge and Rufe Melton went over to Bank Street for supper that
-evening. Rufus wasn’t hungry. He had bought a golf suit that looked
-very well on him, he said, but evidently now he was troubled how to use
-it. He hadn’t done any work so far to-day and felt less like it than
-ever. Pidge thoughtlessly mentioned that an Indian letter had come in
-to the office from Richard Cobden that day.
-
-“You folks are dippy about this Cobden,” Rufe said. “Every time an
-article of his comes out in the _Passé Square_, you gather together to
-read it as if it had come from the Messiah. What’s he to you, Pan--a
-little bit tender on your Dicky?”
-
-“A little bit tender,” she said.
-
-Rufus felt abused. He glared at her. This sort of thing had happened
-before. Rufe had come to look at Pidge as his picket pin. He had a
-long rope and everything was all right, so long as the pin held. But
-her manner now would uncenter any man.
-
-“I’d like to get out of Harrow Street,” he growled. “Every time I put
-my address on the top of a manuscript, I feel it’s a knock rather than
-a boost. I’ve been tempted to get an agent, for no other reason than to
-have his address for the magazines to work through. I was talking with
-Redge Walters who bought this story to-day, and he said, ‘Rufe, you
-sure fall for the little bobbed heads down in the Village, don’t you?
-Why don’t you come uptown and live in New York?’”
-
-“I like Harrow Street,” said Pidge.
-
-“You don’t make a secret of it, either,” he went on. “Of course, Miss
-Claes is kind and all that, but we pay for what we get, and there’s
-no question in my mind about the pictures in her gallery being hung
-crooked.”
-
-“If you’ve finished your supper, let’s go,” said Pidge.
-
-“She breathes! The Arctic princess!” Rufe shivered.
-
-Pidge didn’t answer.
-
-“And that second floor needs policing up,” Rufe resumed. “I haven’t
-taken it to heart so much about living in the Village, but that second
-floor’s a tenement patch. Every time I go up and down----”
-
-“Fanny’s my fault and Miss Claes accepts it with never a murmur,” Pidge
-said, wide-eyed. “I’d look well running off uptown and leaving Fanny
-there. Oh, Rufe, don’t you ever see any fault except on the outside?”
-
-Right then Rufe said something.
-
-“What’s the use of me looking after my own faults when you’ve got them
-all in hand like Shetland ponies?”
-
-Pidge arose. Black waters were welling up in her breast. It was so
-true. His faults were with her day and night, and the greatest of them
-was his entire irresponsibility. Also it touched her in the sorest
-quick to have him point out that Fanny lowered the values, not only of
-the second floor, but of the whole Harrow Street house.
-
-Pidge never passed Fanny’s door but she was pressed by something within
-to enter; yet her whole personal nature rebelled. Often for hours at
-her work, there was a gloomy semiconscious activity within her that
-kept urging its notice up to her mind. When she stopped to think, she
-would realize that she hadn’t gone into Fanny’s room that day, or that
-she must drop in to-night. It was so now, only more than ever, because
-Rufe had located her private horror and brought it to speech. On the
-second floor, returning from supper, she told Rufe to go on up, that
-she meant to see Fanny for a few minutes.
-
-“What to--come on, Pan, let’s go to a show somewhere!” he said suddenly.
-
-She shook her head.
-
-“There isn’t a clot of work stirring in my brain pan,” he went on.
-
-“I don’t want to go out. I’ve got to see Fanny----”
-
-He caught her sleeve. “It’s too hot to go up. Let’s go somewhere. Let’s
-get on a bus and go uptown----”
-
-She was too occupied in the thing she hated to do, to notice his
-concern. He spoke again:
-
-“I’m not going up there alone. You’re colder than a frog to live with
-anyway----”
-
-“Go out somewhere, Rufe, if you want to. Don’t mind me.”
-
-She didn’t hear his words, but she heard the crying of Fanny’s
-children. The door opened. Fanny stood there, but looked past her, over
-Pidge’s shoulder, and queerly enough Pidge thought of the words, “And
-Jove nods to Jove.” The hall door was then shut.
-
-“Wot you coming in here for--to scold me some more, Redhead?”
-
-“No, Fanny, to see you and the----”
-
-“I know why you come, all right. To find fault--that’s why, and you
-needn’t kill yourself, because I’m gettin’ along, so-so. Little old
-Fanny’s holdin’ her own--and that’s more’n you’re doin’.”
-
-Pidge looked into the crib. A core of fetid vapor hung above it, and
-Fanny’s words seemed to blend with it.
-
-“Think you can hold your job and hold a man, too, don’t you? Oh, yes,
-Redhead knows how. Redhead’s got it all worked out. Redhead can tell us
-all how to do it, oh, yes----”
-
-“What’s the matter, Fanny? Are you scolding, so I won’t start? I didn’t
-come to start something. Just came to see you. Wouldn’t you like to go
-out for an hour and have me stay with the--with the----”
-
-Pidge always halted this way.
-
-“Worried--eh? Worried about somethin’?” Fanny piped up. “Well, I’m not
-tellin’ anything--except you ain’t got your little mastiff tied to no
-corset string----”
-
-“What are you talking about, Fanny?”
-
-“Like to know. Wouldn’t you?”
-
-Pidge felt cold. She cared to know what the other meant. She didn’t say
-so, however. She knew a better way--an effective way that seemed to
-come out of depths within her that knew vast pasts and many lands, all
-strategies of men and maids, all secrets of tent and purdah, lattice
-and veil.
-
-“Don’t trouble, Fanny. I just came in to see how you were getting on.
-I’m so sorry, you know----”
-
-“Sorry----” Fanny laughed.
-
-“So sorry, dear--that you’re penned in this way--and Albert missing!”
-
-“Sorry!” Fanny screamed her mirth.
-
-“Don’t you want me to be sorry for you, dear?” Pidge trailed. “Why, I
-haven’t been nearly so good as I meant to be----”
-
-“Well, you dam’ little itch-face--talking to me about being sorry.
-Who’n heller-you to tell me about being sorry? Who’n heller-you to
-talk to me about me gettin’ penned in an’ Albert missin’, when you
-can’t keep your own man--when you don’t carry your own babies? Who’n
-heller-you anyway?”
-
-Then Fanny got down to business and spoke of life in the here and now.
-
-“Never mind, dear,” said Pidge. “We can’t attend to everything. I’m
-going out to get you some ice cream. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
-
-She was in the street. She brought back a paper pail without haste.
-Fanny had begun to cry.
-
-“Don’t feel badly,” Pidge said, washing a saucer and spoon.
-
-Fanny cried on. Pidge served her a large dish, and a smaller one for
-the older child. Then from the paper, she spooned tiny mouthfuls into
-the face in the crib--spooned until there was sleep from the novel
-coolness of the sweet. Then Pidge patted Fanny’s shoulder, as she
-passed out, promising to come back some time to-morrow.
-
-Upstairs she found Rufe, shirt open at the throat, standing by the back
-window. The light in the room was heavily shaded. He looked to her
-covertly, half expectantly.
-
-“Want to read something?” he said in a pleasant tone.
-
-“No. I’m going to bed,” said Pidge.
-
-
-
-
-XXX
-
-THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE
-
-
-EARLY the next morning in the shadowy back room, Pidge moved softly
-about as she dressed. She saw the new golf suit, and her lips twisted
-into a smile. Another toy; another bit of acting. That was all of the
-game he cared for--the clothes that went with it. She thought of the
-night on the corner when the newsboy had pointed out Rufe as a movie
-actor. She saw his desk by the window. It looked like a troubled face.
-Here she was, as usual, furiously busy with his faults--so occupied
-that he didn’t have to bother at all, sleeping serenely on. But he
-didn’t understand, never could understand, that her agony was because
-she saw them as part of herself; that in her own heart she couldn’t
-free herself from responsibility; knowing deeply the _dis_-ease that
-comes from that soul-deep question, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”
-
-And there he was lying on his back, innocent as a child. The pain
-darted into her heart ... the baby carriage at Santa Monica. His
-complexion was almost as fresh, his black hair brushed back. It was as
-if he had fallen asleep with a tear in his eyes, for a little penciling
-of salt was on the thin blue-veined skin under the eyelid. His breast
-was uncovered and that spoiled the picture, spoiled the pathos; for
-Rufe, though the least athletic of men, was hairy and glad of it.
-
-She hadn’t slept. This, since coming home last night, was a show-down
-time, as she expressed it. She had met the same several times with
-her father, when the days became so black and evil that something had
-to happen. Deep, under words and surface thoughts, lay the affair of
-Fanny’s room. The dreary consciousness of that never left her, but
-actual thinking of details was another affair. She couldn’t give way
-to them, and keep the outer quiet she had determined upon. She had
-been too honest to hide from herself, even in the beginning, that Rufe
-habitually took life as it came. She never could forget his first
-appraisal of herself in the reception room of _The Public Square_.
-
-So this hadn’t come in the nature of shock; rather it was a pitiless
-uncovering of ugliness that had been vaguely subconscious before. What
-hurt her most keenly, so that she was close to crying out, as she lay
-beside him in the night, was the inevitable tramp of Fate, audible
-through it all--their meeting in Dicky’s room; Dicky’s opening of _The
-Public Square_ to him in the first place; her own bringing of Fanny
-Gallup to this house; the weaving back and forth into one, of the
-different lives--even her father’s.
-
-Rufe wasn’t at home when she returned that night. He hadn’t rung her at
-the office, but she found word with Miss Claes that he had gone down
-to Washington. She felt something was going to happen, but through the
-day she had gathered her strength together to decide that she wouldn’t
-be the one to bring it about. Underneath all was the old sense of her
-responsibility.
-
-Pidge was half tempted to seek Miss Claes this night. She even went
-so far as to learn that her friend was at home. It always happened
-so, when she needed help: Miss Claes might be out any or at all other
-times. A light was in the basement room, and no voices, but Pidge crept
-back upstairs without speaking.... She had failed. She had run away
-from her father, failing there; failing here. She must see this through
-alone a little longer.... The next afternoon Rufe called for her at
-_The Public Square_. His eyes held a glint of triumph.
-
-“I’m going to France,” he said, when they were in the street. “I’ve
-arranged to do a big feature for Redge Walters and a Sunday newspaper
-syndicate set.”
-
-“But how about the draft?”
-
-“Went down to Washington to start things going to fix that. Redge gave
-me letters. Looks as if there won’t be much trouble. You see, the
-Government needs the writers--public sentiment, you know.”
-
-It wasn’t that Pidge didn’t think of things to say on this point of
-making public sentiment, but a great gray ennui was over her. She had
-said enough about his faults.
-
-“You know, I’ve been smothering in Harrow Street--had to get away,” he
-added.
-
-“Yes, I know, Rufe.” After a time, she said, “I think it’s a good
-thing.”
-
-“That’s the way to look at it, Pan,” he said in a relieved voice, and
-confided: “I need the experience, too, you know, because I’ve never
-been to Europe----”
-
-It was out before she thought: “But how did you get to the Tunisian
-sands?”
-
-“I mean I’ve never stayed long enough to look around. Of course, I’ve
-passed through.”
-
-He grouched for the rest of the evening, but she felt worse about this
-than he did. She had thought she was through nailing him like that.
-It had done no good, merely an additional breaking out of her abysmal
-temper.... On the night before he left, Rufe was at his best--the
-playboy she loved so much; and, of course, she was pressed harder and
-harder into the realms of the Arctic Princess, which was by no means
-her natural habitat. At last, he had her crying, which was something,
-because it hadn’t happened often.
-
-“Going to miss your Rufie,” he whispered, “sorry he’s going away?”
-
-“Oh, it isn’t that!”
-
-“What is it, Pan?” he demanded in the tone of the head of a household.
-“Get it off your mind--don’t keep anything from me.”
-
-That started her to laughing. “It’s noth-nothing, Rufe. I’m all right
-now,” she said brokenly. “I’m only hurt because I haven’t done it
-better----”
-
-“What?”
-
-“Us.”
-
-“Forget it,” he said. “I never hold a grudge.”
-
-
-
-
-XXXI
-
-TWO LETTERS FROM INDIA
-
-
-LATER in July, Miss Claes received letters from Dicky Cobden and Nagar.
-Each, it appeared, had been mainly interested in writing about the
-other. She read Dicky’s first:
-
- ... I think I’ve seen the Man you wrote of, but I’m more interested
- in our own Nagar--altogether different in his native dress. I never
- knew how civilized clothes could slow up a man’s looks. If a white
- man in New York were as good-looking as Nagar is here, the movie
- folk would kidnap him, if necessary, for the screen.... Things look
- differently over here. Sitting in this plain house of the one they
- call Mahatma-ji, I seem to understand things that would appear absurd
- in New York.... Nagar has opened up. He talks freely and laughs. He
- is human, and his American years show in fine light. Try to think how
- startling all this was to one coming up from Bombay, expecting the
- old sphinx of your basement and halls.... I find myself frequently
- at the _Ashrama_--a houseful of saints--young men and women devoted
- to the Mahatma-ji, like Nagar, and who apparently have taken vows
- covering self-sacrifices unlimited. Gandhi is a bit of old brass with
- a mustache; terribly battered, only fifty they say, but he shows the
- wear of greater years. I seemed to feel that he had been frozen,
- that he had been whipped, that he had been burned. Some of his teeth
- are gone.... He tells us that you can’t fight back and expect to get
- anywhere. He says to answer a hurt with a hurt is to prepare for hurt
- again. He says you never can understand your enemy by hating him. He
- says that India can only triumph by returning into herself. Imagine
- such unearthly affairs from a barrister educated in Middle Temple,
- London! And Nagar appears to understand all this.... I haven’t the
- organs to believe much. My training hasn’t prepared me easily to
- accept miracles--more later, when I cool down. But Nagar is great to
- me in himself. I think I find him more interesting, even than Gandhi.
- Sometimes he seems to contain Gandhi. But it would smash everything I
- have to work with, if I gave either one of them my entire belief. Yet
- I dread the thought of going away....
-
-The letter from Nagar was then read slowly twice, and the smile on the
-face of Miss Claes gradually lost itself in a blur of white, as if
-twilight had crept into the basement room.
-
- ... The American whom we know never speaks directly of the one he
- loves; it does not seem to occur to him that we have sympathy that
- enfolds his secrets. He asks questions--asks questions. He shakes his
- head. His college-trained intellect does not reach up, does not hold
- up its cup to receive the synthesis. It moves wearily from one to
- another of its separate analyses, with only rarely a connective flash
- of intuition. But his heart keeps burning, yearning all the time,
- and as he learns, he acts. So he seems very safe.... I have wished so
- often that he were going to you, instead of to his work in Europe,
- but that, of course, is selfish. He has his work there. We must hold
- him between us. He knows already that he will not be able to see and
- feel in France, as he does here. It is his ordeal. I have told him
- many times; every day, in fact, that what he sees and feels here, he
- must remember there, and hold to, until it is made working knowledge
- within him.... Our work is merely preparing. The Little Man, as
- Richard calls him affectionately from that old story, realizes that
- the hour is not yet. We work in the midst of many shades of darkness
- and obliquity and inhibition. We are marking time, marking time....
- Our American will return to India in time to see the Day break. I
- have promised to keep him informed. As Paul Richard says, “We must
- prepare in ourselves that magnificent day.”
-
-Miss Claes sat in silence. Then she seemed to become aware that voices
-above vaguely distracted. She went to the door, and listened. Fanny
-Gallup was crying, with little care who heard.
-
-
-
-
-XXXII
-
-FRANCE, 1918. THE YANK
-
-
-DICKY hadn’t had his clothes off for several days. He was in the
-“Oregon” Forest with Colonel Boulding who was no sort of man to tie
-to for one who felt that a clean washrag was one of the necessities
-of life. Dicky hadn’t cared for strenuous field work but it had
-come to him in France; not the actions of the big fields so much as
-the extraordinary little back-line dramas that break the laws of
-perspective by rising more clearly, as days drew on. Four days before,
-on his way in to Paris, he had met Boulding, who was taking out several
-fresh battalions to relieve a hard-pressed front at St. Aignan.
-
-“I’ve got an extra horse,” said Boulding, “good old Yorick, steady as a
-tram-car, and we’ll be back in three days.”
-
-Dicky stood in the twilight, half rain, half snow--one of the
-interminable waits for order, Boulding back in the ranks somewhere. The
-firing had died down and Dicky dropped his bridle rein to bang his arms
-about to get some blood stirring in them. One of the problems of life
-just now was why wet snow soaked through leather quicker than straight
-rain water; another was why letters from home always dragged around
-the wrong fronts before being delivered; another was how long was IT
-going to last; another was hot coffee.
-
-His mount had turned gently away in the thickening dusk, turned on
-his toe corks through the slush to follow a wind-blown leaf. Plop--a
-water-soaked trench-siding gave way, and Yorick disappeared into an
-unused pit. Dicky stared down into the inky dark. The beast snorted.
-A flashlamp was procured from one of Boulding’s lieutenants and Dicky
-found his way down into the trench.
-
-It became clear why Yorick couldn’t rise, even if unhurt. The trench
-bottom was a six-inch paste of water and clay. Holding the flashlight
-in front of him, Dicky approached the sprawled beast. Yorick looked
-like a monster in the process of being born out of the mud. There was
-something both humorous and hopeless about the gaunt lifted head that
-came up into the ray. And now Dicky discovered that Yorick’s left
-foreleg below the knee veered off suddenly to the left, at a decided
-angle from the way it should lie. Dicky felt alone in a harrowing
-under world. The leaf that had caused it all, or possibly one like it,
-protruded from the snaffle ring. Yorick had come up to his leaf all
-right, and then forgotten what he had gone after.
-
-“Pretty lucky old boy, you are,” Dicky said. “Work done, war over for
-you, nice warm ditch to lie up in at the last, and I’ve got to take all
-the responsibility.”
-
-He drew the pistol from his belt and placed it on the little twist of
-hair halfway between the eyes.
-
-“I ought to take the saddle off first, but I’m not going to. So long,
-old kid, and best luck.”
-
-The pistol banged in the dugout like a cannon cracker under a flower
-pot, and the voice of an American sentry above was heard to say:
-
-“Some fool’s blowed his head off, down there. Why in hell can’t a man
-be patient!”
-
-Dicky climbed up on the level ground, no sicker than before, but a
-trifle more tired.... He was chafed. Yorick had done some of it in the
-last four days, but not all. He was chafed in and out and over, chafed
-from his boots and belt and helmet, but especially from his key ring.
-This last had ground into him all day. He took it out now, as he waited
-for coffee. Meanwhile he edged as near as possible (without murdering
-anybody) to the trench stove Boulding’s cook had got going.
-
-There was the key to his mother’s house in Fiftieth Street--a thick
-brass stubby affair that belonged to the door of a house where hardware
-was well understood. This key couldn’t be thrown away. Though it was
-practically unthinkable--a man might some time get home. It had been
-done. There was a key to 54 Harrow Street. The woman who ran the place
-had told him to keep it with him, because it was a symbol of something
-which he had professed at the time to understand. Then there was a
-long, old-fashioned inside door key, black and a little bent--the
-meanest of all to dig into a man’s hip--this to the hall door of
-certain rooms in the same Harrow Street house. Its duplicate was in
-the hands of a girl he used to know. She had said she would look in
-on the apartment while he was gone, but she was married now. No use
-keeping it any longer.
-
-He took it off the ring, but put it back again.
-
-Certain things were good, but hard to get. Brandy was good. Coffee was
-good, especially hot. Saddle-horse stew was good. Porkpie, pork and
-beans, pork sausage and pancakes were reasonable and of good report,
-but keys on key rings that gored a man while he rode or slept, and
-stretched back into meanings of the Utterly Absurd that a man couldn’t
-get straight in Paris, much less in this slaughterhouse of the Western
-Front--keys on key rings were sheer perversities, especially when a man
-wasn’t game to toss them into any one of these open sewers....
-
-They were saying at home that his stuff was blurred and unconvincing.
-Even John Higgins had been singularly silent of late. Chris Heidt, the
-managing editor of his newspaper connection, had recently written:
-“We miss that fine patriotic ring that we have come to expect from
-our correspondent. Your stuff shows subtleties and innuendoes and the
-dissatisfaction of the boys--the little things back of the lines that
-make for disorganization, rather than the big doings at the front.”
-
-It was dawning on Dicky that there were two kinds of American patriots,
-soldier and civilian; and that for keenness and fire-eating zest, the
-man in the zone of advance was not to be compared to the paper-fed
-folk at home. In fact, there were only two ways for a writer to
-please the firesides of America, as the hot flames of Hun-hatred and
-world-correcting benefactions went up the chimney. One was to stay at
-home and write the war as you supposed it to be, and the other was to
-remember how you felt, how the war seemed to you, before you reached
-France, and write it from that angle.
-
-Blurred, all right, and chafed. One thing he was getting to understand
-a little, and to have an affection for. That was the American
-soldier--not officer, so much, but the ruffian in the ranks, _dogus
-bogus Americanus_--the fellow fused of Irish, Scotch and Jew, of
-German, English, Russian and French; something of each in the solution,
-something of all. In the first place, this Yank was the funniest thing
-ever turned loose on the planet. His officers were occasionally funny
-in a different way.
-
-Dicky vaguely perceived that an abyss was slowly but surely forming
-between this Yank and the patriots at home--an abyss only to be bridged
-by silence. Quite as slowly but surely Dicky’s heart opened to this
-enlisted man. One has to love something. Once or twice, things he saw
-this laughing maniac from America do made him very much ashamed of his
-own mental antics in a certain red room of Bombay.
-
-
-
-
-XXXIII
-
-PARIS, 1918--HADDON AND AMES
-
-
-SO far as Dicky was concerned, the things of great moment in his
-experience in France all happened in the fall of 1918. He was in Paris
-at the end of that shocking summer, and found a letter from Nagar
-which reiterated that the curtain could not rise on the Drama of India
-until Great Britain was through fighting in France and the land of the
-Euphrates.... He was stopping at the _Garonne_. There was a knock at
-his room door one afternoon and voices outside. It was Haddon and Ames,
-correspondents out of New York, and they wanted money. Haddon talked
-first:
-
-“... He’s off his head and in a mess. He mentioned your name. He says
-he sniffed some gas out in the vineyards somewhere in April, and can’t
-get over it. Either that, or the family he’s fouled up with is feeding
-him ground glass.”
-
-“Who’s this you’re talking about?” Cobden asked, though he had heard
-the name.
-
-“Melton--done some magazine stories,” said Haddon.
-
-“You say he mentioned my name?”
-
-“His French father-in-law picked on me first,” Ames put in. “Just
-happened. I’m at the _Charente_, where a lot of Americans are putting
-up. Told me a long story of wrongs to his only child--a female child
-now married to Author Melton. Mentioned your name----”
-
-“He was gassed?” Dicky repeated.
-
-“He says he was,” said Haddon. “It’s an operation case, all right.
-Melton will have to be cut out of that French house.”
-
-“I don’t know whether it’s gas in my case or not,” Dicky said, “but the
-fact is I am not rightly aboard this conversation.”
-
-“The idea is to get aboard with some American currency,” said Ames.
-“American in trouble--fellows all willing to help a little. Up to
-somebody to get the fool out. Father picked on me----”
-
-“Let me get this straight,” Dicky heard himself saying, though all he
-wanted under heaven at this moment was to be alone.
-
-Ames was one of the best Washington correspondents in the American
-press, a fact-getter extraordinary, who had a semi-inspired way now and
-then of putting down his stuff. He was fifty, a friend of John Higgins
-and weathered to a fuzzy gray like a fence board. Just now he bluffed
-out his embarrassment by speaking of one of Melton’s stories which
-Dicky was professionally familiar with:
-
-“A short story in one of the weeklies--called _Dr. Filter_--hell of a
-good story.... It’s nothing to me,” Ames finished. “Only the kid’s an
-American, and he’s tight up against one of Paris’ prettiest ways.”
-
-Haddon took up the tale:
-
-“The Frenchman’s name is Ducier. Melton’s been living at his
-house--mixed with the daughter--forced to marry. Now Parent Ducier says
-the least he can do is to get a living for himself out of it--hard
-times.”
-
-“Actually married?” Dicky asked.
-
-“Showed me the passport,” said Ames. “I couldn’t get a word alone with
-Melton. He can’t leave his bed. One of the family always in the room.”
-
-Dicky was straining so hard that he resisted easy comprehension. It was
-an intense moment. There was more talk.
-
-“Of course, whatever you want from me----” Dicky broke in.
-
-“What you can spare,” Haddon said. “The parents ask twenty thousand
-francs, but they’ll take half that easy. Just now the boy’s too sick to
-escape.”
-
-“Count on me for at least half of whatever it costs,” Dicky said.
-
-Haddon’s eyes widened. Ames looked astonished.
-
-“I’ve heard Cobden is rich, Ames,” Haddon explained.
-
-The gray one came closer and examined Dicky’s face. “I heard it, too,”
-he said. “You really mean this?”
-
-“I would give you the amount now, but I understand that you aren’t sure
-what it will be. I know Melton. I’m glad to help, of course.”
-
-“I’ve heard you were rich, too,” Ames repeated slowly. “But I didn’t
-believe it.”
-
-“Why not?”
-
-“You’re too good a newspaper man,” said Ames. “I didn’t think a man
-could have real money and be as good a newspaper man as you.”
-
-Dicky hardly heard the tribute. The two men were leaving. That was the
-important thing.... He was alone. An intermittent geyser was at work
-within him. Every few minutes a surge of hot hope boiled up in his
-breast. It threatened to deluge him. Out of all the year’s work was
-netted at this time one bit of working knowledge, as Nagar might have
-called it, that he must _not_ be deluded by this hope! He tried to
-cork it up; failing in that he stood as still as he could in the midst
-of the surges. Gradually, he got the thing in hand, but it was bitter
-work, this refusing to take the first real breath of life he had known
-for years.
-
-He found himself in twilight. The day had slipped off, while he
-struggled alone. His forehead was clammy with the effort going on. To
-go back into that dreary hopelessness, and not be able to think out
-the reason why! The force that he had to work with now came from the
-painful mistake he had made in working for reward before; from the
-shock of that realization in the red room, that underneath everything,
-he had counted on his virtue being crowned with Pidge somehow coming
-across.
-
-Now the fight changed. Persistently in the depths of him grew an
-awareness that he had not done the full task called of him merely in
-offering Ames money. This point became so ugly and evident--that he had
-to laugh. More and more, as moments sped on, it faced him squarely. He
-had no sentimentalism to tide him over; his emotions stayed ice cold.
-
-“But it’s like a fool Sunday-school story!” he muttered.
-
-Then again the words broke from him: “But living God, suppose she
-doesn’t want the bundle back! Suppose she’s been trying to lose it,
-and here I am running after her, saying, ‘You’ve dropped something,
-Madame----’”
-
-But he couldn’t budge.
-
-Full dark was in the room when he rung Ames at the _Charente_:
-
-“I’ve been thinking over this thing, Mr. Ames, and I’m asking a
-favor----”
-
-“Yes,” came coldly across the town. Ames believed he was trying to
-wriggle out of his promise to pay half.
-
-“I’ve come to the conclusion that this thing is up to me--the whole
-business, and I’ll thank you very much for Mr. Melton’s present
-address.”
-
-“No. 16, Rue de Belville, Villancourt.” The tones had warmed.
-
-“Thanks. I’ll report to you presently,” Cobden said.
-
-“Sure you don’t want me--or one of us to go along with you?” Ames
-persisted.
-
-“I’ll see what I can do alone first, if you don’t mind.”
-
-
-
-
-XXXIV
-
-THE HOUSE OF DUCIER
-
-
-QUEER drama, from eight to twelve that night in the little house of
-Ducier. Four hours--as long as an uncut opera! The sick man moaned, and
-interrupted everything, calling to Dicky Cobden:
-
-“For the love of God, don’t go ’way and leave me here! I’m done for, if
-you leave me alone again.... Oh, Cobden, Cobden----”
-
-The daughter wept. It was her entire part. She had a brown mole upon
-her ruddy rounded cheek, and very white small teeth in gums of a red
-that Dicky had never seen before except in dental advertisements. She
-was made of little curves, and all of them were required in the art of
-her weeping.
-
-“What’s the matter?” Dicky asked her, during a halt in the proceedings.
-
-“You are taking him away!”
-
-“I don’t seem to be very successful about it.”
-
-“Oh, but you will--you are taking him away!”
-
-Dicky was glad to hear that he was going to get what he came for, but
-the obstacles still looked serious.
-
-“Isn’t that what you want--to be rid and paid?”
-
-“My father--yes--but me--no, no! He is my lover--oh, such an adored!”
-
-It was new to Cobden’s experience just how obdurate an outraged
-European can be. M. Ducier reiterated grimly that weeks ago in this
-house, he had suddenly discovered a condition which destroyed all his
-past and future. He had forced marriage, but that did not suffice.
-Dicky turned to the bed at this point.
-
-“How did you happen to stand for marriage, Melton?”
-
-“Nothing to do with it--I was gassed!”
-
-Here the daughter’s cries arose, the hands of the mother were uplifted
-to heaven, and the face of the father became more grim. It was against
-Dicky’s training and heredity to stand for being bilked, yet he
-hesitated to call for help. To start the police at work would mean
-the American Legation before he was finished, and incredible delay.
-Momentarily Melton made it harder.
-
-“If you go away and leave me after all they have said,” he moaned,
-“there won’t be any need for you to come back! I am telling you,
-Cobden, they keep me here--just as if my legs were tied.”
-
-Rufe spoke in English, which the mother and father did not understand,
-but of which the daughter had plenty to catch the drift. Dicky did
-not miss the fact that in the midst of her weeping there were subtle
-affairs to confide to her father.... It cost him eighteen hundred
-dollars to get Melton clear that night; but, at least, Melton was
-thoroughly clear, the marriage certificate and receipt for heartbalm
-in full, in his pocket. He watched curiously now to see if the tears
-of Daughter Ducier were dried--but no, though Melton spurned her last
-proffer of a kiss--at least with her, money was not all.
-
-In the days that followed, Dicky wasn’t able to get any rest from a
-sense that he had done well. With every ounce of his returning strength
-Rufe Melton yearned to get out of Paris. He had been abused; he was
-frightened to depths hitherto unplumbed. He lived in a mortal dread day
-and night that the Duciers would come for him again.
-
-“I can’t get a passage for you at a moment’s notice,” Dicky would say.
-“Besides, you’re not fit to travel for a few days yet. I don’t want to
-send you back to New York looking like a hounded Apache. Let me do this
-thing right, Melton, while I’m in on it.”
-
-“But don’t go away and leave me here!” Rufe moaned. “Let me go out with
-you when you go.”
-
-“You needn’t have the slightest fear from the Duciers.”
-
-The hands came up and waved hopelessly.
-
-“You don’t know them! You don’t know her!” Rufe moaned. “I want to get
-out of here. I want to get on the ship. I don’t want to be left alone.”
-
-And this was what he was getting ready to send back to Pidge! Once,
-when Dicky was really hard driven, a sudden chill of rage came over him
-and he proceeded this far with a sentence:
-
-“Why, Melton, I really ought to put you----”
-
-The other words--“to death,” he somehow managed to keep from speech.
-Dicky suffered especially from the feeling that he was playing the
-boob. To be sincerely in wrong was his pet aversion--dating from the
-night of the Punjabi dinner. Besides, he was tortured with the thought
-that Pidge Musser wouldn’t thank him. Surely, for her sake, his mind
-repeated, it would have been better even to put old Ames straight, and
-let one American meet Paris unaided. But Rufe had called for him in his
-trouble, had mentioned the name of Cobden to the others.
-
-One of the strangest things to Dicky now was that Pidge’s husband could
-accept all this--somehow as if it were his due. Like a family affair.
-Rufe seldom spoke of Pidge. Apparently getting back to New York meant
-her; apparently they weren’t separated. Rufe had the most extraordinary
-sense of taking her for granted. If he had any money or resources in
-Paris, he didn’t let the fact be known. It was Dicky who purchased
-his passage for New York. Again Dicky’s capacity for astonishment
-was stretched, because Rufe seemed able to comfort himself with the
-fact that he had it all coming. He had never been sick before. His
-present infirmity was entirely engrossing. “I was gassed,” covered all
-discrepancies of word and deed.
-
-Back in his room, after packing Rufe aboard the steamer, Dicky found
-himself nervous, tired and irritable. A servant came and took out the
-extra bed Rufe had occupied. The place was stiller than ever, after
-that--no moaning, no fears, no complaints; but it wasn’t all relief
-as Dicky had fancied it would be. He missed something--the world was
-so crazy anyway--something that had taken him out of himself for two
-weeks; something at least, that had played upon a different set of
-faculties. Suddenly it dawned upon him, though he couldn’t tell why,
-that Pidge would be glad after all. If you play orderly and guardian
-and benefactor to a child--of course you miss the wretch. And Pidge was
-a woman, and she had said--what had she said, about there not being two
-ways? Now Dicky felt better. There had not been two ways for him. The
-chapter was ended at any rate....
-
-Another event of this fall of 1918, so far as Dicky Cobden was
-concerned, was the Armistice. You can tell how inactive hope had become
-within him at this time, and within the breasts of tens of thousands
-of others, when he hadn’t believed that any other than a state of war
-could exist.
-
-And finally, in December, six weeks after the Armistice, at the time
-of the greatest rush in history for trans-Atlantic steamers, when
-Dicky had about concluded that the quickest way home to New York would
-be around by Asia, a _sepoy_ on leave crossed the city of Paris from
-the cantonments in Lourdenvoie, and asked to see the American at the
-_Garonne_.
-
-“You are Richard Cobden?” the young Hindu said, when the room door was
-closed.
-
-Dicky nodded, a certain gladness in him that he did not understand.
-At the same time he was intent in a scrutiny of the caller’s face--a
-youth, but very worn. Something about the eyes made the American think
-of a camel.
-
-“You have been to Ahmedabad, Mr. Cobden?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Might I ask the name of the river there?”
-
-“The Sabarmati.”
-
-“Are you expecting a message from an American in Ahmedabad?”
-
-“No.”
-
-“From any one there?”
-
-“Yes.” Now Dicky knew that it was the patience in the young Hindu’s
-eyes that made him think of a camel.
-
-“Is the name Juna?”
-
-“Nagarjuna.”
-
-The soldier bowed. “It is well. I was told to be assured, before giving
-you the message. It is this: _That the curtain has risen, the play
-begun, and that a seat is reserved for you._”
-
-“Is there need of haste?”
-
-“_No haste, but no delay!_”
-
-“My plan now is to go to New York----”
-
-“That need not be changed, since it was added for me to say--that it
-will be well for you to travel westward rather than to the East.”
-
-“To Ahmedabad at once?”
-
-“You will do well to go first to Bombay.”
-
-“Thank you. Is there anything I can do for you?”
-
-“Only say to Nagarjuna--that I, too, hope to come for the end of that
-play.”
-
-“Your name?”
-
-“He knows his messenger. Here I am not a name, hardly a number----”
-
-“A cigarette--a drink?”
-
-“I will not tarry since it is far to the cantonments.”
-
-The _sepoy_ bowed and departed.
-
-
-
-
-XXXV
-
-FANNY HEARS THE DRUM
-
-
-PIDGE MUSSER had moved around in an indescribable “deadness” for
-several days following Rufe’s departure, before it landed on her, theme
-and all, that she could do a book. Almost four years had elapsed since
-she wrote the _Lance_. One Sunday morning after the new work was begun,
-Pidge took out the old story from the drawer under the wavy glass, and
-glanced over the pages, a puckered smile on her lips. Then she took the
-manuscript down to the kitchen range, and there was a hot fire for a
-while.
-
-The new writing was not so simple and flowing. In the first place,
-there were only Sundays and an hour or two in the evening; but more
-than that was the fact that she had learned so well what stories long
-and short are not! She was now in the toil of technic, which is a
-long passage. First the freedom of ignorance--“A man’s a fool before
-he learns technic,” John Higgins had said. “He’s a cripple while he’s
-learning it. When he’s learned it, and forgotten he’s learned it--he
-begins to be a workman. That’s the freedom of knowledge.”
-
-The old editor didn’t know he had “said it all” for Pidge Musser that
-day as he looked up from Rufe Melton’s story. She wouldn’t forget. Edit
-and rewrite--some evenings with nothing but a torturing inhibition
-to go to bed with. There was no other way. She was tough and broad
-shouldered. She could toil. She had an instinctive awareness also, that
-the deadliest danger in the whole scheme of things for her, at least,
-was to brood inactively. Piled up energy to Pidge meant inevitable
-disruption.
-
-_The Public Square_ was staying alive under the energy amassed by
-the family of trowel makers, but John Higgins wasn’t standing the
-punishment of the days. Pidge saw him falling into the fear of small
-things. Among other institutions he hated was the U. S. Department of
-Justice, but this department was hot after him and he was bluffed at
-last. The climax had come upon the arrest of a famous pacifist, when
-John Higgins was cornered with the necessity of silence. Since there
-was no outlet in protest, his venom turned in on himself. His periods
-of “illness” were frequent, and Pidge had a great deal to do. His old
-reaction against her marriage was apparently forgotten, though his
-temper was unreliable. He was using her now as never before. Once in
-a while, he would look at her long and queerly, and often he said, “I
-wish Dicky were here.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-In April, 1918, about the same time, a book and a boy were born in 54
-Harrow Street. Pidge was present at both deliveries. The enactment of
-the boy’s coming required a full night; and during the next day, her
-activities at _The Public Square_ were remote to Pidge, who had shrunk
-so deeply into herself from nausea and a new kind of fright, that the
-meaning of outer events was distorted and ungrippable. John Higgins
-didn’t miss the fact. In the drag of the afternoon, she was called to
-the telephone--Miss Claes on the wire:
-
-“You’d better come, Pidge!”
-
-An hour later, between five and six in the afternoon, she was in the
-Harrow Street house, looking down into Fanny’s face which squirmed from
-side to side. The eyes moved around the room and finally fixed on Pidge.
-
-“That you, Redhead?”
-
-“Yes----”
-
-“You was a hell of a long time comin’.”
-
-“I know----”
-
-“That dirty animal hurt me----” Evidently this referred to the doctor.
-
-“I’m sorry. He didn’t mean to----”
-
-“Know all about it, don’t yer? Know all about everythin’, don’t yer?”
-
-Pidge didn’t answer.
-
-Fanny lay a moment in pallid anger. Then her eyes slowly opened wider,
-stretched, filled with astonishment, part rapture, part fear.
-
-“Why, Musser,” Fanny said in an awed tone, as one listening to a far
-sound, “Holy Christ, I’m dying!”
-
-She was the last one in the room to know it--except the baby.
-
-A queer little dud with his black hair that stayed combed. No telling
-what he knew any of the time. He didn’t open his eyes so that anybody
-could catch him at it for several days, but the nurse never would have
-done raving over his black lashes. Finally Pidge heard the news--that
-the eyes weren’t black after all, as the hair and lashes would
-indicate, but a dense blue.
-
-“He’s going to be a soldier--such a soldier!” the nurse exclaimed. “I
-know I’ll die when I have to leave him.”
-
-Pidge’s lips worked without sound, and then a funny little twisted
-smile stayed there--that made Miss Claes love her as never before.
-
-
-
-
-XXXVI
-
-RUFE HURRIES HOME
-
-
-RUFE MELTON came home to find life not the same. Matters had evolved
-while he was away about his country’s business, matters that didn’t
-please him now. He had rushed to Pidge. As the steamer approached
-New York, a novel and unforeseen eagerness awoke within to get to
-her, but she hadn’t put off her Arctics. Besides, off duty from her
-editorial job, there was an infant in her arms for the most part--a
-seven-months-old male infant with combed hair, that had looked into his
-face and begun to yell. Rufe took this as a personal affront. He had
-supposed it hers at first.
-
-“Sometimes, I forget that it isn’t,” she had said.
-
-Harrow Street furnished the statement and proof, however, that it was
-Fanny Gallup’s, who was dead.
-
-“But why don’t you adopt the other two?” he asked.
-
-“Miss Claes has found homes for Albert’s children,” Pidge said.
-
-Rufe stood it for two days. “This can’t go on, Pan. I’ve got to get to
-work--no nerves to work in this racket, since I was gassed----”
-
-“Of course not.”
-
-Under his surface anger, she saw the old look of hurt wonder that
-harrowed her so.
-
-“Come back--any time, Rufe--come whenever you can. Always a place here,
-you know.”
-
-
-
-
-XXXVII
-
-JOHN HIGGINS’ CODE
-
-
-WHEN Dicky Cobden reached New York, he found that Pidge had been
-called to Los Angeles, because her father was ill. It was an evening
-in mid-January, 1919, and he went at once to his mother’s house in
-Fiftieth Street. The strain of waiting for his home-coming had been
-almost too much there. Grandfather had flickered out; his bed and
-chairs gaped and would not be comforted. Dicky went into the living
-arms, however, and found rest and gave it. His mother and aunt and
-sister livened up like plants, newly-watered. He was queerly astonished
-to learn that Pidge recently had called upon his people--“just a social
-call,” his mother said.
-
-Outwardly things looked as hopeless as possible at _The Public Square_.
-From his latest retirement to his rooms for a change of luck, John
-Higgins had been taken to the hospital, instead of returning to his
-desk. It was a gray-faced old man that Dicky found in the early morning
-of his first full day at home, in a room that smelled of drugs. The
-face didn’t look at him squarely. The light hurt John Higgins’ eyes
-and made the features writhe. Dicky wanted to move around to the other
-side of the bed, so the face would be shaded, but his old friend was
-gripping him with both hands.
-
-“We have been looking for you a long time, Dicky,” he kept saying.
-
-It wasn’t the unshaven white stubble that changed the face so much as
-the quiver of the upper lip, when John Higgins spoke.
-
-“What’s the matter, John?”
-
-“Indigestion--all kinds of indigestion. Damn ’em, Dicky, they’ve made
-me eat my own words----”
-
-“Who?”
-
-“The most pestiferous public nuisance ever organized--Department of
-Justice.”
-
-Dicky did not need to be warned against the _bête noir_. Its shadow was
-upon John Higgins’ face.
-
-“I rather liked yesterday’s issue,” he said, “and they tell me that the
-next two numbers are practically made up.”
-
-“You’ve been to the office then?”
-
-“No. I called up from home at breakfast. That’s how I heard you were
-here. Just off ship last night----”
-
-“Bert Ames got in three weeks ago. You were a long time coming----”
-
-“My turn didn’t come--everybody dying to get home since the racket
-stopped.”
-
-“Your paper’s alive, Dicky--that’s the best that can be said.”
-
-“My paper----”
-
-“I’m looking for you to buy the rest. My equity is on the market. _The
-Public Square_ is alive, but it’s not my fault.”
-
-“Whose?”
-
-“Didn’t they tell you that ‘The Weekly’ was away?”
-
-Dicky looked bewildered. A glint of the old humor had come back to John
-Higgins’ eyes, as he added:
-
-“The woman thou gavest me.”
-
-“You mean about Pidge Musser being called to Los Angeles?”
-
-“Suddenly discovered she had a father who couldn’t be denied. Ripped
-out of here on the fifth and left a hole in every department.... They
-say I’m done with the desk for a time. I knew it without them telling
-me. I’d have had to wire her to-day or to-morrow to come back, if you
-hadn’t turned up.”
-
-Dicky’s thoughts now became busy adjusting to the fact that John
-Higgins wasn’t returning to the desk at once.
-
-“I know when I’m done,” the old man repeated. “It’s taken nearly sixty
-years, but I know. You’ve heard about the serpent that stings itself to
-death in captivity?”
-
-“It’s just the chafing of the muzzle, John. You’re not stinging
-yourself to death----”
-
-“We all have our little code, Dicky, and I haven’t been true to mine.
-Your paper’s alive, in spite of what I would have done. My code pulled
-me the other way--against you--but that little thing stood by your
-interests. You’ve got her to thank, not me.”
-
-“Tell me----”
-
-“They were doing things in this country that I knew about----” the old
-man shut his eyes, as if in nausea--“but she kept me still. Then they
-arrested an old friend of mine--man I’ve known for thirty years--man
-who loves his country _all the time_--as I do not--and they arrested
-him. One Sunday morning I wrote my little say about it all, and as I
-wrote, I heard them singing ‘Nearer, My God, to Thee,’ in a church down
-the block from my rooms. That’s what I called the article. I was sober.
-I wrote for all days, and every year I had lived went into it--all I
-was. I was willing to throw you--a little matter of money which you
-could afford. I was throwing myself, but I was pleased enough with the
-story to show it to her Monday morning, instead of sending it down to
-the composing room.”
-
-The narrative halted for several seconds. Dicky moved around the bed to
-rest the old man’s eyes.
-
-“That little tumult had me bluffed from the beginning. She barred
-the way to the printer, that’s all. I thought she was done for when
-she married Melton, but she came back stronger than ever.... Barred
-the way, Dicky--put her arms across the door. ‘You can’t do it, John
-Higgins, you can’t send that down. It’s just wanton destruction. It
-won’t do what you hope. It won’t help your friend, but make life harder
-for him and for all the C. O.’s. This isn’t your property to waste. My
-heart’s in it and Dicky’s money’s in it----’ Well, she had her way--and
-the thing turned in on me--my own words. My organs of assimilation
-weren’t strong enough to get away with it.”
-
-Dicky gripped John Higgins’ shoulder. The old man added impressively,
-“Dicky, I’ve sat at the desk for hours and studied how I could ever
-tell you this one truth! I haven’t written a decent line since that
-article! My old side-wheeler doesn’t work--that’s the size of it.”
-
-He was pressing his hand to the top of his head, as he went on:
-
-“I’ve studied how I could tell you. It doesn’t seem quite so hard this
-morning at the show-down--but she’s written all the decent stuff that’s
-supposed to come from the Desk.... I mean what I said. I’m for sale.
-I’ve put it to you straight--the worst. But the paper’s alive and the
-books are for you to look at. Times are getting freer. The next two
-issues will get out themselves. It’s all I’ve got----”
-
-“But you can take a leave of absence, and keep your income----”
-
-“No. That would be a drain. That’s morals possibly, but not business.
-I want to sell, Dicky, and what I ask won’t break you. I thought for
-a while I was done for, and I made out my part to her. That would be
-simple--but the old hulk still floats--so I have to have some money.”
-
-Now Dicky dwelt reverently upon the old man’s secret. Only one thing
-could have prevented John Higgins from getting his masterpiece into
-print; also John Higgins had made out his single possession in the
-world to Pidge--when he thought he was done for. This thought now
-electrified Richard Cobden. He wanted events to turn out this way with
-such one-pointed fury that he forgot for an instant that it entailed
-the death of his friend. But some time Pidge must have this gift--some
-way--John Higgins’ life work! Dicky arose. The fact that he could do
-nothing right now required extraordinary self-control.
-
-“I’ll look the whole property over to-day and tell you to-morrow
-morning, John. Be sure it will be all right for you. We’re----”
-
-Dicky didn’t know what he had started to say. The old man beckoned him
-back.
-
-“... Bert Ames can help you for a few days until she comes back. No
-better Washington man, anywhere, but Bert knows the desk work, too....
-Wait. I’ve got to tell you before you go how he dropped in to see me,
-day or two after he came back from France. I asked him if he’d seen
-you. He rather allowed he had--and launched into the story of your
-saving young Melton from the clutches of the French family. Couldn’t
-stop him in time. He hadn’t the slightest notion that the woman at the
-desk yonder was Mrs. Melton.”
-
-Dicky was pale.
-
-“It didn’t knock her out. That’s the queer part,” John Higgins added.
-“... Get Bert Ames. There’s one man who isn’t doing any damage to you
-as he loafs around New York.”
-
-“I’ll be back to-morrow morning,” Dicky said. “Where’s Melton now--Los
-Angeles?”
-
-“No, here in New York. I’ve heard he’s stopping at the Vici Club.”
-
-
-
-
-XXXVIII
-
-AN OFFICE OF THE WORLD
-
-
-DICKY was in the street and it was still only ten in the morning. The
-first thing he did then was to telegraph Pidge of his arrival; that all
-was well, and for her not to hurry. He spent the day at _The Public
-Square_ offices studying the books, reading up in the files. He fancied
-that he found an aggressive sort of integrity here and there through
-the systems, that was familiar. The publishing property had weathered
-the war; it was a building base. Dicky found much that he liked, but
-fought enthusiasm--fought back a rush of possessive impulses, until he
-was tired.
-
-At six, when he reached Harrow Street, for the first time, he was not
-permitted to use the key to the street door that he had carried so
-long, for Miss Claes met him at the basement entrance. He had heard
-her voice over the telephone in the morning, but had not remotely
-anticipated the stir of feeling that the sight of her awakened. No
-emotionless reporter about Mr. Cobden at this moment. He followed her
-to the open fire; the door was shut. They stood together in silence,
-and he had never seen her look so well.
-
-“Why, Miss Claes, you are just the same!” he was saying. “I mean, all
-day I have been seeing the ravages of the war years in the people at
-home, in John Higgins, in everybody. But you----”
-
-“Your coming makes me happy.”
-
-Firelight and a fragrant room, and the stillness of Harrow Street. Miss
-Claes was speaking of Nagar--of Pidge--of Pidge and the child--of Rufus
-Melton--of Fanny Gallup--of himself--as if they were all one, all blent
-in destiny.... Pidge had taken the child to Los Angeles.
-
-A ring at the street door! Dicky watched Miss Claes’ face as she left
-the room, purse in hand. She returned in a moment with a telegram for
-him.
-
- Welcome home. So glad to hear, so relieved. Needed here a little
- longer.
- PIDGE.
-
-The door shut again.... Miss Claes had heard of everything--even of his
-experience with Rufe Melton in Paris, and from Pidge what Ames had told
-John Higgins.
-
-“I should have put Ames wise about that,” Dicky told her. “It was
-pretty hard to have Pidge hurt that way.”
-
-“She brought home the news exultingly,” Miss Claes said. “Hurt, of
-course--her old sorrow for Rufus Melton, but a compensating gladness,
-too. You would have to be a woman, to feel exactly what it meant to
-her. Pidge learned that day that you were close enough in sympathy to
-share her work. That was light to her out of the depths.”
-
-Dicky studied the shadowy face.
-
-“Pidge accepts no revelations from the sacred writings,” Miss Claes
-added. “Only messages of action count with her. Your action in Paris
-freshened up her life--that you had been brave enough to help her with
-her task. And how richly Pidge will pay!”
-
-“It wasn’t hard to do, but hard to know that it was the thing to do.”
-
-“All that matters now is that it is done. One crosses a goal, or one
-does not. The rest is forgotten.”
-
-He told her of John Higgins and _The Public Square_; of his talk in the
-morning and the day with the files. She inquired regarding details,
-mechanical and commercial--her same old rational grasp upon materials.
-Of course, he did not speak of John Higgins’ secret, nor of his own
-possible purchase. It was a matter of mercantile tradition in the
-Cobden house not to discuss an incompleted transaction; but he told her
-of Pidge’s part at the time of the arrest of the editor’s old friend.
-
-“John Higgins calls her ‘The Weekly,’” he added. “He says it was Pidge
-who kept the paper going.”
-
-Miss Claes turned to the fire to smile. Dicky didn’t notice. He was
-lost in the problem of how John Higgins could give half-interest to
-Pidge, and sell it to himself at the same time.... They were speaking
-of India.
-
-“Of course, I’ve arranged to go,” he said. “Nagar promises the story of
-the age----”
-
-“Nagar sent his message here for you, in case you did not receive word
-from the _sepoy_ in Paris--‘No haste, but no delay.’”
-
-He started. This house of Harrow Street seemed like an office of all
-the world to him to-night.
-
- * * * * *
-
-“... The hardest part is with my people--for me to go away again,”
-he was saying, a little later at the door. “Of course, they can’t
-understand--my mother and aunt and sister. Everything looks all right,
-except that--leaving them so soon again.”
-
-“Perhaps I can help a little. I’ll go to them often--while you are
-away.”
-
-“That’s quite too good for me to think of,” he said, and told her of
-Pidge’s call. “Why, Miss Claes, I haven’t known what it meant to be
-rested and straightened out like this--since Ahmedabad,” he said at
-last.
-
-Her hand was raised before him:
-
-“Don’t think about it. Don’t analyze. Just--go to them--and come back
-when you can. This also is your home always.”
-
-
-
-
-XXXIX
-
-SEVEN FLAWLESS DAYS
-
-
-DICKY was riding westward through the citrus groves of the last fifty
-miles into Los Angeles. Eight days in New York; there had been no
-public announcement of a change in ownership of _The Public Square_,
-although John Higgins had retired and new energies were actively in
-operation. The old editor’s faith was gone in himself, but anchored all
-the tighter to the son of the trowel makers.
-
-The great Range was crossed. All the forenoon the air had been clear
-and cold, but at noon the Limited had slipped down into San Bernardino,
-into summer and fruit fragrance. Now it was two in the afternoon
-and Dicky looked out upon one little town after another, the like
-of which he had never seen before. Sun-drenched and flowery towns;
-breathing-spaces between the houses and vine-clad trellises; and
-everywhere the great orchards, sometimes palm-bordered and often with
-rose-covered fences of stone.
-
-“Sit tight, sit tight,” he said to himself.
-
-A hundred times he had repeated this to-day. There was loose in him
-a power of feeling which made the days of his straight unemotional
-reporting look like a feeble affectation. Coming into the harbor of
-New York less than two weeks before, he had learned to accept the
-emptiness of life. But since then, curiously enough, a new order of
-content had filled him. Was it necessary to be emptied of the old
-entirely in order to be filled with the new?
-
-Pasadena was behind; the Limited was running down grade into Los
-Angeles; then momentary halts with Mexican faces turned to the car
-windows--Chinese faces, a tangle of freights--finally a slow down, and
-on one side, groups of up-turned faces, expectant, some strained to an
-intense kind of pain to catch the eyes of their own.... The bags had
-to be put out. There were people in front of him; he was shut off from
-windows.
-
-“Sit tight, Dicky----”
-
-A white limp-brimmed straw hat pulled down over her ears like a
-bonnet! A taller Pidge--no, she was standing on her toes to look over
-the shoulders of the crowd. Now she saw him; her eyes blinked, her
-shoulders lifting quickly. He moved slowly, positively not crushing
-anybody. Her hands were raised--one higher than the other, the fingers
-apart. They stayed so, until he pressed against them. She was taller.
-Their faces were so close--both shaded for an instant under the wide
-brim of her hat. He had been looking into her eyes; then they were too
-close to look into. It seemed neither had anything to do about it. He
-hardly dared remember.
-
-Some one near by knew a happiness that shrieked. They walked away from
-the many voices. Then he realized that he was carrying his two hand
-bags.
-
-“Where’s the parcel room?” he asked.
-
-“I’ll show you the way. The station is very old and dingy.”
-
-He checked them. They walked to the other end of the yards where the
-big palms called.
-
-“How’s your father?”
-
-“I think--he’s better. You heard about the baby--Fanny Gallup’s baby?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“I brought him west with me. He’s in Santa Monica now, so I’ll have to
-hurry back. You’ll come?”
-
-“To Santa Monica?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Shall we get a motor car?”
-
-“No. The interurban. I’ll show you.”
-
-“Is there a place to stop down there?”
-
-“Oh, yes, I’ll show you.”
-
-“My steamer trunk can wait here for a day or two. I’d better get my
-small bags----”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-He unchecked them.... In the city car to the interurban station, she
-said: “Oh, Dicky, it’s so good.” Then after a pause, she added: “We
-don’t need to talk about ourselves.”
-
-“I understand.”
-
-“It’s days before your ship?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“I can show you around. It’s hard for me not to be troubled about _The
-Public Square_----”
-
-“Everything’s all right there. I’ll tell you everything when we get on
-the other car. You’ll like it all.”
-
-“And must you really go to India?”
-
-“I arranged with Nagar, before I left. It’s the story of the age, he
-says. After that----”
-
-“Yes?”
-
-“After that--New York.”
-
-They were in the Santa Monica car, on the way down to the ocean. She
-had shown him Hollywood, pointing out some of the moving-picture
-plants.... If he could only keep calm now--and not rush out to seize
-the incredible little attractions of the moment! It seemed so important
-to keep calm right now--as if this were a sort of trial trip. He must
-be able to move right into this light without flinching--must endure
-all delight in stillness. It wasn’t like repression--this that was
-called of him now, but faith. The wonder of it all was her perfect
-fearlessness with him. Their old word came back to him--_comrade_. He
-almost spoke it, but stopped in time. He must live it. But why all this
-holding back--after years of holding back?
-
-“... So he won’t be coming back, I’m afraid,” he was saying of John
-Higgins. “He understands that his desk is there for him as long as he
-wants it, but he doesn’t encourage any one to believe he’ll use it
-again. I told him he could do Washington, and leave Bert Ames on the
-desk for the present, but he only shook his head.”
-
-“I saw it coming,” said Pidge. “Oh, I’ve seen it for a long time. There
-was never anything I could do to help him. I never can really help when
-I want to.”
-
-He felt she was thinking of Melton. She was, but she was thinking of
-Fanny Gallup, too.
-
-“He has no relatives,” Dicky went on, “but it’s arranged for his income
-to keep up; anything he wants to do for the magazine----”
-
-He saw her look of sadness.
-
-“John Higgins is so helpless,” she said softly.
-
-“We’ve taken on young Bothwell for the advertising, and given him a
-little fund to work with,” Dicky reported. “Bothwell isn’t a plunger,
-steady sort of genius in his game. The idea isn’t to plunge in any
-department--just to work softly and slowly and steadily, giving
-everybody his money’s worth. Also, if a story or article just suits, we
-mustn’t let the price stand in the way any longer.”
-
-She nodded wonderingly.
-
-“Bert Ames has two or three good ideas to work out at the desk before
-he leaves for Washington.”
-
-“But who after that?”
-
-“_Sit tight, Dicky._”
-
-... He coughed. “It isn’t like the desk in the old sense. We have
-talked about that. Pidge, I’m wabbling a bit, but the desk is yours.”
-
-They were sitting in the windy front seats. She appeared to be looking
-into the back of the motor-man’s neck.
-
-“When you get back,” he added.
-
-Her eyes did not move.
-
-“This isn’t reward, this is your place; no other can hold down the
-job. You’ve done it for months. There wouldn’t have been any _Public
-Square_, if you hadn’t. I know all about the ‘Nearer, My God, to Thee’
-story, and the editorial paragraphs and how you have kept up the
-reviews, and somehow got stories without money and without price. John
-Higgins told me everything. It isn’t giving you reward. It is only
-going on as you were, with some money to work with, and two or three
-good men to help, and a salary for yourself that will make up in a
-small way for the pittance you’ve been living on for years.”
-
-“There mustn’t be any desk, Dicky,” she said queerly.
-
-“What do you mean?”
-
-“I mean we’d be the laughing stock of New York, if I perched on a desk,
-calling myself the Editor.”
-
-She halted, thinking of what Miss Claes had advised about her
-authorship of _The Lance of the Rivernais_.
-
-“You’ll take it, Pidge?” he said with deadly calm.
-
-“I’ll do what I can until you come back. It must be managed very
-silently. No announcements. I’ll be there as I was. I’ve been thinking
-a lot. _The Public Square_--I know how dear it is to you, Dicky. It is
-to me, too. It will be wonderful to have some money to work with. I
-know about Bothwell. He’s the right man for the advertising.”
-
-“I left it open--for you to choose the one to help you when Bert Ames
-goes over to Washington.”
-
-Her eyes turned to him directly now, searchingly. There seemed to be
-something intelligible for him in them, but he did not divine the
-meaning.
-
-“That’ll all work out,” she said presently. “We mustn’t try to plan it
-all now.”
-
-Her eyes filled with laughter.
-
-“Oh, Dicky,” she said, “if I’d ever get self-conscious about feeling
-all the responsibilities of _The Public Square_ resting upon my
-shoulders--I’d muddle the whole business in a day!”
-
-“They have rested on your shoulders, Pidge.”
-
-“Yes, but I didn’t stop to think.... In another minute you’ll be able
-to see the ocean!”
-
-They were silent. Then she pointed over the motor-man’s shoulder, and
-he saw a vast stretch of leveled azure, like sky ironed out smooth.
-
-“And--you’re--going--across!” she said suddenly--“still after the Big
-Story that you’ve always been looking for. And oh, Dicky, I’ll go to
-see them when you’re gone--your mother and aunt and sister.”
-
-“It did a lot for me to learn that you had called.”
-
-“Dicky,” she said solemnly, “when they told me what you’d done in
-Paris----”
-
-“Let’s not--Pidge.”
-
-“And when I remembered that Sunday afternoon you took me to your
-house--and what a beast I was--oh, how that hurt! I’ve been so sorry
-and so grateful.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-He had seen Pidge with the baby in her arms. He had held the baby
-himself, in fact, while she got breakfast one morning, and their
-laughter had disturbed Mr. Adolph Musser, who felt that the world was
-no place for such laughter with his nerves in the condition they were.
-
-“His back feels so funny,” Dicky had reported concerning the infant.
-
-Pidge gave him a look, and went on timing the eggs. Mr. Musser’s egg
-had to lie three and one-half minutes in water that had ceased to boil.
-
-“And his hair stays combed,” Dicky added.
-
-He had held converse with Mr. Musser, which was an experience. Mrs. Rab
-Gaunt Hastings had gone her way after a series of such experiences,
-her fortune undivided. It had been said that the undivided nature of
-her departure was in a measure responsible for Mr. Musser’s nervous
-breakdown, though he explained it metaphysically. Since he could not be
-left in his weak state, it was arranged for him to return with Pidge to
-New York.
-
-“I have known for many months that the field of my labors was to be
-amplified,” said Mr. Musser, with one of his sudden hopeful flashes.
-“My illness is but a cleansing in preparation. Always the wrecker
-before the builder. My throat, for instance----”
-
-Pidge called at this point from the fig tree back of the bungalow. It
-was their last day.... For seven days they had walked the sunny silent
-mesas, traced the interminable canyons, and miles and miles of curving
-shore of the sea. To-night for him, the Valley train to San Francisco;
-to-morrow afternoon, the Pacific Mail steamer.... She had spoken of
-Rufus Melton for the first time.
-
-“You think he was really married in France?” she asked.
-
-“They frightened him into it,” Dicky said. “It seemed to me as if Rufe
-looked upon it as a way out--then found that they didn’t mean to let
-him escape, even then.”
-
-There was no suffocating emotion about this talk. It was only in
-moments like this that he understood that he had earned something
-through the years. They had to go back to the bungalow for lunch with
-the elder and the child, who objected to each other. There was only
-a little while alone in the afternoon, because he had to be in Los
-Angeles for his train at six.
-
-“I started things going among the agents in New York, for a serial,” he
-said at the last, “but you’ll have to decide. We want a corking long
-story, Pidge--one that has brain and brawn----”
-
-Her face was turned away.
-
-“Just the right one should be lying around somewhere,” he added.
-
-“I’ll look,” she said.
-
-She would have gone into the city with him, but he objected: “You would
-have to come back alone!”
-
-Their real parting was on the Palisades, and there were few words about
-it.
-
-“It’s work, now,” he said. “We go opposite ways for the same job--the
-Story of the Age.”
-
-“And after that--New York,” she answered.
-
-They stood in the superb sunlight at the edge of the escarpment.
-Hundreds of feet below was the old abandoned bathhouse, and the three
-white lines of surf pressing into the land, like tireless fingers of a
-modeler upon the clay. To the left was the portal of the Canyon, to the
-right the fallow lands with feathery brushes of eucalyptus against the
-sky.
-
-“We’re all meshed yet, Dicky--meshed in wantings and struggles, all
-tracked up with recent experiences. We can’t see each other clearly
-yet----”
-
-He was looking into her face in half profile. Quietly it had dawned
-upon him that he couldn’t have spared a single one of the hard days
-of the past five years, not a single one of the black patches, even.
-They were the dark rooms in which this present striking film had been
-developed.
-
-“We can’t--what?” he said strangely.
-
-She was speaking, but still he didn’t hear, for that moment in the
-superb sunlight, he saw Pidge Musser as he had never seen her before.
-
-
-
-
-XL
-
-THE YANK DEVELOPED
-
-
-DICKY reached Calcutta toward the end of March, 1919, and had no
-difficulty in learning that the Little Man would be in Bombay within
-a week. Where Gandhi was at any given time in the Indian Empire these
-days was the most public of all facts. It was as if one entered a house
-and asked the children where their mother was. Both the native and
-English press were full of his sayings and doings, though he was seen
-and heard, of course, from different angles. The Rowlatt Bills had just
-been passed, and Dicky painstakingly looked into the nature of these.
-
-He heard that Gandhi was ill; that he scarcely could stand, in fact;
-but that he was speaking to great throngs every day. A few days ago
-he had talked to thousands on the Beach at Madras. Since then he had
-traveled to Trichinopoly, to Tuticorin, to Negapatam where he had
-addressed a monster gathering in the Nazir gardens, pledging the people
-to _Satyagraha_ by thousands, and warning them with terrible warnings
-before they pledged, that the step they took meant self-suffering; that
-they must not use violence against the Government in thought or deed.
-
-Dicky crossed to Bombay immediately, hoping to find Nagar there. On
-the train a young officer of the military who had come from Singapore
-on the same ship with him, met an elderly friend of the civil service.
-They talked in Dicky’s presence.
-
-“But why don’t they arrest the fanatic?” the soldier asked.
-
-The elderly departmental officer smiled. “That’s what they all ask at
-first,” he said.
-
-“But, if he’s preaching sedition----”
-
-“He is also preaching nonviolence. British Government hasn’t a better
-friend in India at the present hour than this same little barrister.
-The people are upset over the Rowlatt Bills, and Gandhi is calming them
-down. Arrest him, I think not!... We have much to thank Gandhi for. He
-helped along enlistments, and now he preaches nonviolence. It’s all
-religion with him. He’s a political saint. The thousands follow him
-like a Messiah. Pretty safe sort of thing, to have a Messiah around
-advising the multitudes to turn their other cheek. Not that we’ve
-slapped one, you know.”
-
-In the sweltering core of the native city, Dicky found the house which
-Gandhi used as headquarters while in Bombay. Here a letter awaited
-him from Nagar, written at Lahore, advising him to look to Mahatma-ji
-for counsel; and hoping that they would soon be together. In his room
-Dicky sent out for an armful of recent newspapers and publications,
-determined to get the situation further in hand.
-
-... No question about India being a bit stunned over the passage of
-the Rowlatt Bills two weeks before. These measures provided that
-the ordinary criminal laws should be supplemented, and certain
-emergency powers added by the Government to deal with anarchical and
-revolutionary movements. The shock to native India lay in the fact
-that she had been led to expect that the measures adopted during the
-War would be mitigated, rather than intensified at this time. And
-Mahatma-ji was on the war path of the Soul.
-
-Gandhi reached Bombay on April third. He was followed by a great
-crowd from the railroad station to the house of his host. Dicky, who
-had watched from a distance the emerging of the Indian idol from his
-third-class coach, wondered if he were ever again to get the Little Man
-alone in a room as in Ahmedabad. He hadn’t been in the hotel an hour,
-however, before he received a message to accompany bearer to Gandhi’s
-headquarters.
-
-The native led him through the crowd without difficulty, and to an
-inner room where Mahatma-ji sat alone, both hands extended. Dicky sat
-down on the empty cushion before him.
-
-“It is good to see you again, Mr. Cobden.... I regret that I was not in
-Bombay when you arrived; especially since it happened that Nagarjuna
-was needed in the north at this time, but we cannot think first of our
-own affairs. I am expected in Lahore on the tenth, but doubtless you
-will start for there or for Amritsar, which is very near, before that.
-Nagarjuna is now in Amritsar.”
-
-“I will wait and travel with you, if you permit,” Dicky began.
-
-The other smiled.
-
-“My way of travel is not yours, I am afraid. It might be interesting
-enough for just one journey, but I question the judgment of it. To be
-seen too much with me is to become persona non grata to the English.
-This would prove a detriment to the work you are to do. Remember that
-you are an American, and that basically the American spirit is above
-partisanship.”
-
-Gandhi was slightly changed. The wasted body was even lower on its
-cushions. The look of intense weariness was still apparent, but the
-look of fearlessness was enhanced. Dicky heard the humming of the
-_charka_ in the next room as before. The fragrance returned to his
-nostrils. The old feeling stole over him of eagerness to do something
-for the physical welfare of the man before him, something to make the
-mere enduring of life easier.
-
-“Physicians tell me that I should be very quiet,” Gandhi explained with
-a smile. “It is true that I was unable to keep all my appointments to
-speak on the other side of India, but in the main I am very active.
-The human body may be made to do what is required of it, after a
-fashion.... Yes, there are many changes. Our position is rapidly
-becoming one of direct opposition to Government. We were slow to
-realize these things.... Our movement depends for its success entirely
-upon perfect self-possession, self-restraint, absolute adherence to
-truth and unlimited capacity for self-suffering. In this manner only
-may we dare to oppose the Rowlatt legislation, and resist the spirit
-of terrorism which lies behind it, and of which it is the most glaring
-symptom.”
-
-Dicky’s reaction was queer. He understood the point about the
-Government daring to leave this man at large, but didn’t Government
-see deeper than this placid mask? Of all keepers of the peace, Gandhi
-was apparently master; but in the fearlessness of the eyes that gazed
-on him now, Dicky fancied for a moment, at least, that he saw what
-British Government did not. The Little Man suddenly appeared to him as
-the living embodiment of the Enemy to all existing Governments, utterly
-terrible in stillness and poise. At the same time, Dicky didn’t lose
-for a moment his feeling of pity for the wasted figure before him, that
-tenderness which he could not even have explained to an American.
-
-“... I see you have been faithfully at work, Mr. Cobden,” the Little
-Man was saying now. “Some time I would have you tell me of your days on
-the French fields--what you found there after India--whatever you care
-to speak of experiences which evidently have brought you forward in
-kindness and understanding and peace----”
-
-“I am glad you find----” Dicky began in an embarrassed tone.
-
-“It is well for me to tell you, but that is sufficient,” Gandhi added.
-“These are our affairs, not yours----”
-
-“I’m afraid I don’t understand that.”
-
-“We have a saying that one who is coming forward in attainment must not
-delay his progress by pausing to contemplate or analyze himself. One’s
-attainment rightly is the joy and affair of every other being but that
-one.”
-
-Dicky now felt that there was something to report to America in the
-story of Gandhi and his following of millions. For three days he
-was with the Little Man, morning and afternoon. Very sternly he had
-impressed upon himself the fatuousness of expecting anything like the
-old “miracle.” There was no need for that miracle now, Dicky informed
-himself gravely and repeatedly, for something of Pidge Musser ceased
-to be alive in his heart at no time, though much pain of yearning was
-connected with it and pity and human questionings. He had learned well
-by now that all really important experiences are spontaneous and can
-only steal into a mind that is emptied of anticipation and its own
-inferior pictures.
-
-But on the third day something came to him--as fruits from his dreary
-months of France. He had been speaking to Gandhi of the hideous
-directionless campaign days there. Suddenly, as he himself talked, the
-American Soldier in composite was unveiled before him--the game and
-grinning Yank, who had held fast in faith to but one thing under smoke
-and sun, against shock and night itself--his sense of Humor, the fun of
-the thing.
-
-Dicky _saw_ the Yank, now. That was all there was to it. In the dark
-room of France the picture had developed and the presence of Mohandas
-Gandhi now brought it out to the light. It was Dicky’s for all time,
-and his eyes closed with pain that his old friend John Higgins had
-missed it--the one thing that one needed to know, to keep one’s faith
-in America, and to gamble even to life itself that the new order of
-nobleman should one day arise with laughter.
-
-... He walked the streets of Bombay afterward, and then wrote to
-Pidge late at night, though he was leaving for the north early in the
-morning. It seemed he could not wait to tell her. All the meanings
-of New York that he had caught as a New Yorker, in his own home and
-in the house of Miss Claes, as an exile in Asia and correspondent in
-France--fused into a sort of splendid synthesis at last.
-
-He saw ships coming from all Europe to New York Harbor--coming in
-through The Narrows bearing the emigrants of all Europe--passing under
-the Statue of Liberty--tiny seeds diffusing into the vast crucible of
-The States, running out from the meeting point of Manhattan on all the
-red lines of railroad, into all the green rivers, planting themselves
-in all parts, for the emerging of the New Race at last--the Laughing
-Men, the dense physical model of which he had seen in France.
-
-
-
-
-XLI
-
-UNDER THE MANGOES OF CAWNPORE
-
-
-“NO haste, but no delay.” Gandhi had used the very words in suggesting
-that it would be well for Dicky to join Nagar in the north. The
-American telegraphed that he would reach Amritsar on the evening of the
-ninth, and made his way northward leisurely, stopping over in Cawnpore,
-for a full day. It was in Cawnpore, toward midday, after a two hours’
-ramble in white dust and the killing colorless heat, that Dicky halted
-in the shade of a little grove of mangoes. He took off his helmet and
-mopped his brow with a piece of silk already damp. In the shade, at a
-slight distance (his left foot twisted into the ground), sat an ascetic
-who kept on with his muttering, not turning the way of the American.
-
-The look of an iron statue suggested itself. There were ashes, and
-worse, in the holy man’s hair, and in one empty eye socket. The hands
-were held out in space--twisted, seared hands, but so moveless that
-Dicky thought of the iron statue again. The wrists were thick and
-very strong. Cobden squinted his eyes back toward the pitiless Indian
-street, and then he perceived the Hindu’s face turned to him. A single
-vivid eye held him, as by the scruff of the neck. The voice was deep
-and resonant as from one who had learned to breathe, a rare art. The
-words in English were quietly spoken:
-
-“It is written, my son, that you are to come to the end of your search
-within six days.”
-
-Dicky edged closer, and asked courteously: “Do you really get it that
-way?”
-
-“So it reads in the crystals. To one who truly reads, the tale is
-one--whether read in the crystals or the stars.”
-
-The holy man lifted from between his thighs a handful of stained and
-rusty stones.
-
-“You will go to a wall,” he added studiously. “You will enter through
-the gate of the wall----”
-
-“What wall, father?”
-
-“Who knows? I see the wall. The end comes within six days, and there is
-tumult.”
-
-“The end of my life?”
-
-“There seems no surety of that, but it is possible.”
-
-The deep voice of the _hathayogin_ went on: “The crystals foretell, but
-the wisdom and daring of man forestall. Had you not come to this tree,
-there would be no hope. As it is, you may come again to-morrow at this
-time.”
-
-“I’m afraid not, father. Whatever wall it is, I shall be one day nearer
-it, to-morrow.”
-
-Few would have noted the faint film of pallor under Dicky Cobden’s tan.
-As white men go, he knew something about the Indian holy men. The more
-he learned, the more he respected certain rare types. There is a saying
-in India that the real mystic never begs. Dicky determined to learn
-the quality of the man before him, for he arose now to depart without
-offering a present in money.
-
-“Perhaps, father, from this meeting, I shall be wiser to face the fate
-that awaits me at the wall.”
-
-“You should be wise enough to take one day from your journey.”
-
-“I cannot take what is not altogether my own,” the American laughed. “I
-am saying good-by now.”
-
-He walked slowly out of the shade of the trees. With each step, his
-blood chilled a little, in spite of noon heat. He thought of _The
-Public Square_, of Pidge Musser at the desk there, of Harrow Street.
-Death had to come some time, but life wasn’t boring him just now. The
-sunlight of the open stretch stung his eyes with great weariness. The
-deep voice called from behind:
-
-“Stay, my pupil!”
-
-Dicky halted and returned, looking down into the apparently guileless
-and desireless eye. “Alms for the temple in Cawnpore,” the lips intone.
-
-“By all means, father,” the other said, no visible change upon his
-face, as he placed in the palm of the beggar several bits of silver
-from his purse. In the burning day again, he lifted a tired smile to
-the sun. No true mystic, perhaps, but what had this man seen in the
-crystals?
-
-
-
-
-XLII
-
-LALA RELU RAM
-
-
-NAGAR took him by the hand at the railway station in Amritsar on the
-evening of the ninth of April, 1919. The need for many words seemed
-past; there was quiet gladness. Dicky took up his quarters in the
-_Golden Temple Inn_. Under the lights at the entrance, as he passed
-in with Nagar, groups of Mohammedans and Hindus stood together, with
-self-conscious but eager shows of mutual friendship, and the American
-rubbed his eyes.
-
-If there was one thing in India that could be counted upon like
-Government itself, it was the mutual hatred of these two great
-divisions of native life. Dicky had heard in recent days much of
-the swift breaking down of these barriers, under the influence of
-Mahatma-ji, but he had seen no example of it working out like this
-under the lights of the Inn.
-
-“But what do the English think when they see the Hindu and Moslem
-_kowtowing_ to each other--as at the door below when we came in?” Dicky
-inquired.
-
-“The Deputy Commissioner, the highest English civilian of Amritsar,
-looked upon a similar spectacle to-day,” Nagar said. “I did not hear
-him, but he is reported to have remarked, ‘There’s going to be a row
-here,’ and drank much cold soda water.”
-
-“What is your work here, Nagar?”
-
-“I have been working among the students at the college of Lahore, and
-now here in Amritsar, working with the young men and women.”
-
-“Preaching Gandhi’s sort of peace?”
-
-“Yes,” said Nagar.
-
-“I still wonder that the English don’t ‘get’ the Little Man, Nagar.”
-
-“The Government regards him as harmless because he speaks of
-Soul-force. It deals with precedents; Mahatma-ji with ideals----”
-
-“You think the Government will arrest him sooner or later?”
-
-“Oh, yes.”
-
-“Won’t that stop or hurt the work?”
-
-“I remember,” said Nagar, “hearing the school children in New York
-sing, ‘John Brown’s body lies a-moldering in the grave, but his Soul
-goes marching on.’ A spiritual beginning never stops. Mahatma-ji has
-already brought his few spiritual principles into matter, into action.”
-
-“Tunnel,” said Dicky.
-
-“Night and day Mahatma-ji has been preparing his entire people to stand
-quiet and hateless; no matter what happens to him,” Nagar went on with
-a smile. “He tells them that in the event of his imprisonment, or even
-of his martyrdom, they would only wound his spirit, by answering the
-shedding of blood with blood----”
-
-They talked late. For fully an hour after Nagar left, Dicky sat by the
-open window, smoking to keep the insects away. Tobacco did not entirely
-quench the stale tired smell of the town. Even after he put out the
-light, sleepless hours passed, so it was late in the forenoon when he
-awoke, hearing cries in the street below. He crossed to the window.
-
-“_Hindu Mussultmanki jai!_” a voice cried. This he took to mean a
-native impulse to promote Hindu and Moslem unity, or something of the
-sort. Also he heard the cry repeatedly, “_Mahatma Gandhiki jai!_” Also
-Gandhi’s name associated with the names of “Kitchlew and Satyapal,”
-native leaders in Amritsar, of whom Nagar had spoken last night.
-Presently there was a knock at his door. A serious but friendly young
-Hindu in student’s garb bowed, entered and walked to the center of the
-room, saying in careful English:
-
-“From Nagarjuna I have come to be at the service of Cobden Sahib for
-the full day.”
-
-“Thank you. Is Nagar busy?”
-
-The student bowed again and proceeded: “My name is Lala Relu Ram and
-I am glad to come and make you acquainted with the disposition of the
-city.”
-
-The shouts were raised again outside.
-
-“What’s in the air?” Dicky asked.
-
-This was too much for Lala Relu Ram.
-
-“I mean the shouts below--is this another holiday?”
-
-“My people are gravely disturbed. Doctors Kitchlew and Satyapal have
-been sent for by the Deputy Commissioner Sahib. It is feared for them
-by my people.”
-
-“What have they been doing?”
-
-“In the terms of public speech they have cried out--also against
-the Rowlatt Bills, and for the amity of all peoples in Amritsar,
-Dr. Kitchlew being a Mohammedan and Dr. Satyapal a Hindu, which is
-anomalous.”
-
-Dicky was still unshaven, and there were some notes he wished to put
-down.
-
-“I’ll be ready to go out with you in an hour or less,” he said. “Would
-you not like to go down and get a line on what is going on?”
-
-The student confessed that he would, but plainly the American idiom
-“get a line on” fascinated him. He paused to inquire, and Dicky
-explained.
-
-“That is very good,” the student observed. “We are taught that the
-language of the future is to be made of most flexible symbols. I will
-get a line upon what is in the air and return.”
-
-He was back within a half hour saying that the worst had happened.
-Doctors Kitchlew and Satyapal had been arrested under the Defense of
-India Act, ordered to write farewell letters to their families, and
-been driven out of town, their destination unknown.
-
-“My people are gathering to go to the bungalow of the Deputy
-Commissioner with a _faryad_ (petition) that will remonstrate very
-firmly,” the Hindu boy said.
-
-“We had better be there, don’t you think, when the doings begin?” Dicky
-inquired.
-
-“Doings?”
-
-“When the performance is pulled off.”
-
-“Ah, _tamasha_!”
-
-“I think so,” said Dicky.
-
-They heard the slamming of boarded shop windows in all the native
-streets. The word for suspension of trade had gone abroad. The two
-pressed through gathering groups all making their way in one direction.
-
-They had passed through a stretch of bazaars and before them now was
-a carriage bridge over the railroad right of way. On the bridge, they
-were packed tightly in the throng by the railings on either side. In
-a moment, the crowd in front halted and surged back. Lala Relu Ram
-gripped his arm queerly. Now they heard voices far ahead--angry voices
-in English--demanding the people to disperse. The van of the crowd
-had been confronted by a police and military piquet, but the pressing
-forward did not cease.
-
-“My people are refusing to be stopped. They claim the right to make
-their plea,” the student whispered.
-
-Dicky was sinking himself into the purpose of the populace. As ever
-from his training, he sought to clear his mind of preconception and
-self-interest--so that the events might write upon a clean surface.
-Just now a shot was heard; a bullet sang overhead--then a volley. It
-was not until that moment that he remembered the dusty twisted ascetic
-in the mango grove at Cawnpore. But that was only two days ago, and
-where was the wall?
-
- * * * * *
-
-He found himself in the very quick of the Indian people--under the
-cuticle of India herself. India the timid, the terrible; India talking
-of Soul-force; India running with its _faryad_ to the ranking English
-representative of Amritsar; explaining her griefs and her hurts to
-herself and to the English, seeing neither the humor of her plight on
-one side, nor its grimness on the other; India led about on a string
-which she might have broken with the flick of a finger.
-
-That was what India had always seemed most like to Dicky
-Cobden--_hathis_, the elephant, gentlest and strongest of creatures.
-For many generations she had been banged about by the shouts and blows
-of the white _mahout_, who was not in the cult of elephant lore, never
-a native of her habitat. He had made her stand around according to
-his own ideas--India, the great female elephant, full of tremors and
-flutterings; of vast strange delicacies and uncomputable powers.... Now
-she was leaving her white _mahout_ to follow about a little black man
-with an invisible string.
-
-“_Mahatma Gandhiki jai! Gandhi Maharajiki rai!_”
-
-Dicky heard the voice raised now in the lull that followed the first
-volley.... A little black man with an invisible string, called
-Soul-force.
-
-One with the crowd, he felt its galvanic jerk of ugliness pass through
-himself. The murmur of protest that now arose from the open mouths
-was like something from himself--as if his mouth, too, were open with
-sound. A bearded native in soiled white garments turned suddenly and
-pressed him back. This man had felt a stone under his bare foot and
-he was making room to reach down to pick it up. Dicky saw his fingers
-stretch toward the muck. He understood. Here was one of the primal
-impulses of the human body in a stress of fear and hate. Far ahead,
-the English officers roared commands for the natives to go back. The
-voices of native leaders standing with the English, also implored the
-people to disperse. But the people had their _faryad_. They wanted
-talk. Also there were dead and wounded on the earth before the eyes of
-the front ranks. Another volley sounded.
-
-Instead of being driven back by the second pelting of shots, the
-native crowd crushed its way across the bridge. In the opening on the
-other side, it halted, now in the Civil Lines, no longer jammed by the
-narrow rails of the bridge. The throng had not yet become insensate; no
-individual had seized the office of leadership. This was the instant
-of all to Dicky Cobden, the turning point. The native gathering might
-still have been reasoned with, as it stood leaderless, looking upon
-its own dead; but instead of reason, came the third volley from the
-soldiers and police, the prod of the ankus that turned the elephant
-_musth_.
-
-The shuddering of revolt that the people felt passed through Richard
-Cobden as well--whipped up in his own breast. Then he was carried
-forward with the mob. Nothing gentle or yielding about the bodies now,
-a rough, bruising, muscular mass pushed from behind by incredible power.
-
-Dicky glanced about to look for Lala Relu Ram, and that instant was
-whacked to the ground, a slug from the pistol of one of the troopers,
-gouging his left shoulder. He arose to one knee, still turned back, a
-laugh on his lips, looking for the student.
-
-And now a most extraordinary shock was meted out to the son of the
-trowel makers. A running native with gray, patchy face, completely
-carried away by mob impulse, halted, stood above the kneeling white
-man, struck him in the face with both hands, emptying his mouth
-at the same time. Some of the natives immediately behind, without
-questioning but that Dicky was one of the English, now tramped over
-his body as they ran. Though fallen, he still preserved a final waver
-of consciousness--face down, head covered in his arms. Finally he was
-caught by the arm and jerked to the side.
-
-It was Lala Relu Ram who had pulled him out of the crowd and looked
-down into a face covered with blood and mud, and a welt or two. The
-only white about that face now was the lips which smiled and repeated
-a word which the Hindu student had never heard in all his linguistic
-studies of the East and West.
-
-
-
-
-XLIII
-
-_HATHIS_ LAMENTS
-
-
-DICKY really came to back in an apothecary shop on the way to the
-Golden Temple, where Lala Relu Ram had carried him. The filth of
-that face that had opened upon him as he looked up from his knee--a
-shudder about that, something he would never be able to tell. It had
-been uglier to take than the blows. As moments dragged on, he fell to
-wishing Nagar would come. A curious wonder played incessantly in his
-mind about the twisted ascetic under the mango trees in Cawnpore, but
-where was the wall? The crystal gazer had repeated that the thing which
-was to befall would be within a wall.
-
-“... The bullet didn’t think enough of you to stay, Mr. Cobden,” the
-young English surgeon said after examination. “It merely bit out a
-chunk of muscle and went its way. Since there is no cavity for it to
-drain into, it means nothing but a stitch or two, and a clean bandage.
-But you’ve been considerably mashed about the face. There’s going to
-be a strain on your drainage system for a few days to carry off dead
-tissue.”
-
-He was taken to his room at the Inn, much bandaged, and Lala Relu Ram
-sat by his bedside, his face often turned to the open window that
-looked out over the street.
-
-“I’m all right--don’t stay,” Dicky urged, as he began to understand the
-sacrifice of the student in remaining with him instead of following the
-mob.
-
-“Nagarjuna did not say for one hour, or for half of one day, but for
-the full day,” Lala Relu Ram declared, “and who knows but that I too
-might have disobeyed the orders of Mahatma-ji and become violent?”
-
-Dicky hadn’t much of a grin left, but such as it was, he was free to
-let it work under the folds of gauze. He sent the student below on
-one pretext after another, knowing that the young man was exhausting
-himself from strain to hear all that had happened.
-
-“It is more terrible than we supposed,” the student reported, as the
-long day ended. “Enraged by their dead and wounded, and being prevented
-from carrying their request to the Deputy Commissioner, my people have
-burned buildings, bank buildings--the National, the Chartered, the
-Alliance banks----”
-
-“That’s hitting them where they live,” said Mr. Cobden, impelled to
-Americanisms as never before.
-
-“Sir?” said Lala Relu Ram, bending forward on the scent of the idiom.
-
-“A Government bank is an English nerve center, Lala Ram,” Dicky said.
-
-The student was thoughtful, and then resumed: “It is with sorrow that I
-have to confess that my people have forgotten themselves in the case of
-Mr. Stewart and Mr. Scott of the National Bank and Mr. Thomason of the
-Alliance Bank----”
-
-“Hurt?” said Dicky.
-
-“Dead,” said the student, with a dramatic pause. “And that is not all.
-Miss Sherwood was most brutally assaulted, and outside the city a
-railway guard named Robinson, and a havildar in charge of the Electric,
-named Rowlands, were beaten to death where they live, and the station
-goods yard burnt----”
-
-Dicky’s eyes squinted under the cloths. “And what of your own people?”
-he managed to ask.
-
-“Oh, many have been killed!”
-
-This was an item that did not require the enumeration of details.
-_Hathis_ had gone _musth_, but not for long. _Hathis_ was horrified
-at the awfulness of the thing she had done. _Hathis_ was back in her
-pickets again, not realizing her own hurts, anticipating a clubbing on
-the toes, and in the immortal way of _hathis_, half suspecting that a
-clubbing was deserved.
-
-“I’d like to doze a little,” said Dicky.
-
-The student rose, but lingered.
-
-“Would Cobden Sahib permit me to ask one question?”
-
-“Why, of course, shoot--I mean--ask it.”
-
-“It is about that moment when you fell,” said Lala Relu Ram. “Rather,
-it was when I reached you, and had driven off my people who thought you
-were one of the English----”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“You were partly out of the body--unconscious. Yet your eyes were open
-and you were speaking some word that I have never heard--several times,
-as you would speak the Holy Name in devotion, with breathing.”
-
-“What was that name?” Dicky inquired, pulling the bandage down farther
-over his eyes.
-
-“It is not one which I have ever heard in my speech or yours--that is
-why I ask. It was like this, ‘Pid-gee--Pid-gee.’”
-
-Dicky laughed.
-
-“That is--the fact is, that’s right curious,” he said. “I must have
-been ‘out of the body,’ as you say. That--that is a little expression
-we use in childhood!”
-
- * * * * *
-
-As Nagar stood under the light that evening, Dicky saw that his eyes,
-too, were burning with strange sorrow. Lala Relu Ram bowed himself out,
-walking backward. When they were alone, Nagar came to the bedside,
-drawing a chair, and his hand found the American’s.
-
-“We have not done well in Amritsar to-day.”
-
-“I don’t think you understand it quite,” Dicky said. “I was there this
-noon, at the place they call the Hallgate Bridge----”
-
-“There was violence,” said Nagar.
-
-“There were three volleys----”
-
-The Oriental smiled. “It is not the provocation that we deal with, but
-the losing of oneself in anger. Nothing remains to us but the fact that
-Amritsar lost its self-control.”
-
-“You think the Little Man will be unhappy about what has happened, when
-he comes?”
-
-“Mahatma-ji was arrested this morning at Kosi, served with an order not
-to enter Punjab, nor the district of Delhi, but to confine himself to
-the Bombay Presidency.”
-
-Dicky studied his friend. He couldn’t help feeling if Nagar had been at
-the Hallgate Bridge---- Finally he spoke:
-
-“I’m just a reporter, Nagar. I’m not granting that Gandhi knows it all
-or that the natives to-day are all right, and the English all wrong.
-Still, I can’t help wondering at what you ask of your people--as a
-reporter would ask, you understand. They turned the other cheek! They
-took the first volley and the second. I was there. No man has three
-cheeks. I saw it all in that minute between the second and third
-firing.”
-
-Nagar’s hand pressed his and Dicky lowered his voice, though his tone
-had not been loud.
-
-“Anything might have happened that instant had there been a bit of
-leadership,” he added. “The people wanted to talk to their father--the
-Deputy. You would have wept for their forbearance, or stupidity, as you
-like. Their dead were at their feet, the cries of the wounded in their
-ears, and still they weren’t maddened. They only wanted to show their
-_faryad_. If there had been the right Englishman on the spot--why, the
-crowd would have been allowed to go forward with its document. I’ve
-an idea that it was something dangerously like funk that caused that
-third volley, and that nobody will ever be so sorry for what happened
-to-day, as England herself. I call it human the way your people lost
-their heads.”
-
-“Mahatma-ji’s ideal isn’t human, Richard. It is of the Soul. We shall
-suffer and India shall suffer--for to-day.”
-
-“I’ve got a lot to learn about this man’s India. I can see that,” the
-American said queerly.
-
-
-
-
-XLIV
-
-THE SLATE AND THE SPONGE
-
-
-PIDGE was choosing a serial for _The Public Square_. The choice lay
-now between two manuscripts on the desk before her eyes. One was by a
-maker of the “new” American literature, named Carver, who had dared to
-perform the work in one sustained, slow movement, bound to ward off
-excessive popularity, a thing of drabs and tans and grays, but earnest,
-even in its hopelessness. It consistently portrayed a cross section
-of life, a fine piece of human observation, but altogether unlit with
-intuition.
-
-The other book was a novel of New York, by a woman whose name was
-entirely unheard of. This manuscript had been refused several times
-as a serial in the past year, and several times as a book prospect.
-The letters of refusal from the different editors were also on Pidge
-Musser’s desk. One said, “This book is too much of a gamble for an
-unknown name.” The united opinion of all professional readers was that
-this story was unquestionably an augur for the future of the novelist,
-rather than a compelling announcement of her arrival.
-
-In her own heart, Pidge believed that the woman’s story would interest
-more readers than Carver’s. Also, _The Public Square_ would be saved
-considerable money in taking the woman’s story, for Carver stood out
-for rather a high price for his first American serial rights.
-
-“It isn’t the freedom of ignorance,” she said at last, about the
-lower-priced book, “but it isn’t the freedom of knowledge, either. ‘A
-man is crippled while he’s learning technic.’... No, I can’t take the
-chance!”
-
-So the novel by the unknown woman went back to Harrow Street with its
-refusals, and found a resting place in the drawer under the mirror that
-waved; and only Miss Claes and the author, herself, knew who was hurt.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Mr. Adolph Musser, in New York with his daughter, began to have
-callers. The two small upper rooms in Harrow Street were not adapted
-for callers, even in the adaptable Village. Especially this was so
-because an adopted male child of one year was rooted and ramifying in
-the place. One of the ramifications was a female lodger and one-time
-nurse who looked after the child while Pidge was away at the office.
-Mr. Musser, during his first week in New York, before he found an
-apartment in the Sixties, had pronounced this woman too heavy-footed to
-live with.
-
-Though Pidge had received an important increase of salary, dating
-from the first of this year of 1919, she did not find herself in a
-greatly improved condition when the additional expenses of nurse and
-her father’s separate maintenance were considered. However, something
-happened which she had not foreseen. Mr. Adolph Musser became rapidly
-self-supporting. According to his predictions, New York proved to be
-suffering from a “biological hunger and thirst” for his very sort of
-metaphysic. Los Angeles had been sated. One had merely to move from
-temple to temple in Los Angeles. Cultists of all colors were there;
-light-bringers from all lands. Mr. Musser, according to predictions,
-found New York a virgin oil field and he was not long in getting his
-derricks up.
-
-Late in May there was a letter from Richard Cobden, mailed at Bombay
-in early April. Though it was written to Pidge personally she saw in
-it Dicky’s first real work, his first actual grasp and retention of
-essentials, to her idea. It opened to her, also, the lineaments of the
-Big Story they had talked so much about. She read the letter through
-twice on the day it arrived, and that night took it home to read to
-Miss Claes, who came to the upper room in the latter part of the
-evening, as she had come to hear _The Lance of the Rivernais_, over
-five years ago. Their faces were close together, and Pidge read low and
-rapidly:
-
- I have been with Gandhi several times in the past three days, and
- early to-morrow I start north for Amritsar to join Nagar. I hadn’t
- thought of writing this until just now, on my way to bed, and the
- subject of the Little Man suddenly filled me. I feel an unadulterated
- American to-night, and there may be an advantage, at least an angle,
- in a study of Gandhi from that point.... He is very ill, can scarcely
- stand, but more than ever full of his kind of light and power. In
- the last three days with him, I have come to understand _you_ as
- never before--and America and the American soldier. I have found
- out, Pidge, what you mean by stating and living the fact, that it
- isn’t how much one knows that counts, but how much one does. Gandhi
- is a doer. I used to hear in church something about the Spirit being
- made flesh, and now I’ve got an inkling of what that means. Gandhi’s
- genius doesn’t dream. _It does._ The sun shines on all India, but
- Gandhi has become a lens. The rays focalize through him. The ground
- burns under his feet.... He is called a bigot, a fanatic, a living
- Blue Law, and it is all true, Pidge. He is drawn in black and white.
- He has no half-tones, no twilights, no afterglows. He is devoid of
- atmosphere as the moon. His lines of light and shadow are never blent
- or diffused. He is vivid noon where his light strikes, densest night
- where light ends.... It is not that he loathes the West, but that he
- knows the East. He has become a specialist, as Nagar says repeatedly.
- He has withdrawn his attention from the world to India, Herself. He
- has brought in his eyes from the future, to the Now. He sees the next
- step which India must take, and leaves to the dreamers of the world
- to point out the glories and the penalties. He stands in the road in
- front of India to-day, like a man before a runaway horse----
-
-Dicky had ended the letter suddenly, saying he was sleepy, but had more
-to say later. The two women talked low, because of _another_ in the
-room. This other was not to be disturbed. They stood over him now. He
-would not have approved at all of their gayety and know-it-all manner,
-had he been awake. His lids were down, however; the black curving
-lashes reposed in their hollows; the world, which was the big horse he
-must some time ride, was away minding its own business.
-
-“I’m glad to hear this much before I go----” Miss Claes stopped and
-took both of Pidge’s hands.
-
-“Before you go--where?”
-
-“This little slate of Harrow Street is all written over. It is to be
-rubbed out now, Pidge. My part is finished here--I don’t know how well,
-but it’s finished. I am leaving New York.”
-
-“Why, that--that seems--insupportable!... Why, I thought anything could
-happen but that--to my New York!”
-
-“Only you are to know, dear,” Miss Claes said moments afterward. “Yes,
-it is India----”
-
-“To Nagar--you are to be with him--the Hills!”
-
-“Don’t, Pidge. It isn’t for words----”
-
-“Forgive me----”
-
-“These are terrible days for India. It means work--work--tests for
-every one’s courage. Little Harrow Street is still and steady,
-compared.... But this is dear to me--the thought that I go ahead to
-make ready for you another place to come----”
-
-“My upper room,” said Pidge softly. “My upper room.”
-
-
-
-
-XLV
-
-AMRITSAR, APRIL 13, 1919
-
-
-TOWARD the end of the afternoon of Sunday, the 13th, Richard Cobden
-ordered a carriage. He was still bandaged about the head, his left arm
-in a sling. This was his first descent from the room since his hurts
-on the 10th, and meanwhile General Fyatt had taken control of the
-city, bringing in troops from nearby stations. Dicky had met Fyatt in
-France, and was on his way now to pay his respects to the General at
-his Headquarters in the Ram Bagh. He was getting it very clearly just
-now that if it were observed that he had any sort of affiliation with
-the natives, he would promptly be placed out of reach of all Punjabi
-events, even as a spectator.
-
-The American was personally and intensely interested in Nagar and
-Gandhi, but still he did not feel that he had taken sides in the least.
-He looked upon Gandhi’s work as visionary, and the work of the British
-in India as substantial, and the more likely to endure. He had seen
-Nagar but a moment or two each day since the 10th, and had kept in
-touch with developments through the English sources.
-
-The air was still furiously hot, though it was after four in the
-afternoon. The streets were crowded, this being the day of the
-_Baisaki_ fair, and thousands were in from the country. Dicky heard
-the roar of a ’plane over the city, and craned out of the window of
-his half-closed carriage for a glance at its flight. The pilot was
-making circles over a point at a little distance ahead--a low peculiar
-hovering.
-
-Dicky inquired of his driver the meaning, and was told that the
-’plane appeared to be hanging over the great crowd assembled in the
-Jallianwalla Bagh--that thousands of the visitors attending the fair
-were there, listening to the speakers, as well as many townsfolk.
-
-“But didn’t the General give orders for no public assemblies?”
-
-The driver had not heard. Dicky reflected that the ’plane didn’t appear
-to be there for the amusement of a crowd--no circus ’plane, but an
-effective bit of government property, rather, with an air of business.
-It rose now and vanished over the city.
-
-The carriage continued on the way to the Ram Bagh, until it was halted
-for the passage of troops in the street. A half-hundred Gurkhas and
-Baluchees, two motor cars with English officers and civilians, the
-whole outfit trailed by a pair of armored cars, and moving in the
-direction where the government ’plane had hovered.
-
-“Where are they going?” Dicky asked of his driver.
-
-The man was not sure, but suggested the Jallianwalla Bagh.
-
-“What is that place?”
-
-“It is a _maidan_,” the man said, “a big open square, a public place.”
-
-“Public square,” Dicky muttered. “Turn in short after the armored
-cars,” he commanded the driver. “Follow close.”
-
-“Ram Bagh is not so.”
-
-It is a difficult proceeding, requiring formalities, to alter one’s
-orders in Asia.
-
-“Listen. I am changing my purpose. Not Ram Bagh, but Jallianwalla. Turn
-in after the soldiers--now!”
-
-The driver obeyed, but was hurt and murmuring.
-
-To Dicky, that afternoon, Amritsar was a place of heated and offensive
-stenches. As they passed through hot and narrow streets, certain of
-these odors startled his comprehension, because they were so subtly
-vindictive. The thought occurred to him, as he watched the naked
-children playing in the wet shadows, of what a correspondent had
-remarked in Cawnpore: that it was hard to tell whether the streets
-soiled the children, or the children soiled the streets. The movement
-forward was very slow, and Dicky bent to inquire at length if they were
-still moving toward Jallianwalla Bagh.
-
-“Yes, it is very near,” said the driver, churning at the lines with
-both hands.
-
-The American did not let himself think further. He fell into his old
-queer absorption; the reporter of his makeup taking him over. He shut
-out Amritsar from mind; the Native Idea, the English Idea, and his own
-that hovered between. He was just a stranger in a half-closed carriage
-looking out from under a bandaged brow. He heard the flies in the air.
-He did not seem to have any mental guard to shut out that distracting
-buzz--flies winging across the vapors of filth. They came to a narrow
-lane, a _kucha_, the driver called it. The armored cars ahead were
-having difficulty in this constricted place. Finally they halted and
-Dicky heard a British soldier on the nearest turret call out that the
-cars could proceed no further.
-
-His own carriage was of course blocked. The _kucha_ appeared less than
-eight feet wide. He was still lame, and had not intended to do much
-walking about in the furious heat, but beyond the armored cars he had
-glimpsed the Gurkhas filing forward and the officers stepping out of
-their machines. He let himself to the ground, ordered the driver to
-wait, and followed the soldiers through the wet trampled lane.
-
-A minute later he was in the broken ranks of the Gurkhas--little
-muttering men with big sprawly hands holding fast to their rifles,
-fingers running loosely over breech and stock and barrel. The halt had
-come because there was a sudden rise to the ground--a mound of earth
-closing the lane, and running at angles to each side. The soldiers were
-ordered up and deployed along the mound; equally divided to the right
-and left.
-
-Now Richard Cobden, in the midst of the officers and civilians who
-had occupied the two motor cars, also gained the eminence with some
-pains; and at this point he saw the man he had started out to find
-that afternoon--General Fyatt, a significant picture, indeed, here in
-Amritsar, who had been but a small obscure exhibit in the broad gallery
-of France.
-
-Fyatt didn’t see him, and the American looked over the vast assembly
-of natives in the burning light. On a raised frame toward the center, a
-Sikh speaker stood. Dicky could hear his words, but did not understand.
-He saw, however, that the coming of the soldiers had interrupted the
-tenor of the speech and that many of the people were frightened and
-drawing away. An English officer beside him, after listening a moment,
-spoke with an ironical laugh:
-
-“_We have nothing to fear. Sarkar is our father and our mother.
-Government would not injure its children_----”
-
-Dicky realized that the young officer had quoted a translation of words
-the Sikh speaker had just spoken to the people--from twelve to fifteen
-thousand in the _maidan_, he reckoned. All faces were now turned to the
-soldiers--waves of faces. It was as if the color of a tree had changed
-by a steady pressure of wind that showed the under side of all the
-leaves. A nervous laugh from the young Englishman who had interpreted;
-then from General Fyatt, the low single sentence:
-
-“You may give the order.”
-
-“Fire!” the young officer called to his Gurkhas.
-
-To Richard Cobden it was quite incredible, but another officer on the
-far side of the lane repeated the command, and the line of leveled
-rifles spurted on either side. Dicky winced at the crashes. He had been
-in the firing pits many times, but one can never remember how these
-concussions close by hurt one’s head and spine.... Of course, they were
-firing blanks. This was Martial Law. The people had been ordered not
-to assemble and they had disobeyed--twelve thousand of them, or more.
-General Fyatt had undertaken to impress upon them that his word was
-Law, Martial Law. Of course, this was also the English answer to April
-10th, at the Hallgate Bridge. A bit uncouth to stampede a big crowd
-like this.
-
-Surely Fyatt couldn’t have realized what this firing of blanks would
-mean.
-
-They were trampling themselves to death already. This wasn’t English
-humor. It was more like the fool who yells, “Fire!” in a packed theater.
-
-The great open place was walled. There were no broad exits. The several
-narrow vents had locked of themselves by the pressing of bodies against
-them. “Why,” Dicky thought, with a wrench and shiver at the sight of
-the monster throng in the process of constricting itself, “why, this is
-a womb of death!”
-
-Cries were sustained at the end of this April holiday--cries of battle
-and accident and pestilence, the cries from a great ship going down.
-
-Dicky thought of a pot beginning to boil. He thought of a yard of
-leaves suddenly caught in a swirling wind. He thought of all the old
-stale similes used and over-used since bloodshed began, and his mind
-sank back in the hollow of hopelessness. It couldn’t be told, but his
-faculties tried again and again, even though his heart sobbed with the
-people.
-
-A great square of colored cloths in the sunlight--from twelve to
-fifteen thousand human beings listening to a man who cried out
-against violence, who cried out that _Sarkar_ couldn’t hurt his
-children--suddenly being ground in the great crush of Fear, being
-sprayed with rifle fire--blanks, of course--but to a result almost as
-deadly, for the people were destroying each other. They didn’t mean to,
-but they were trampling each other to death. Thus his mind viewed and
-reviewed--all this in a matter of seconds.
-
-Now Mr. Cobden saw something he didn’t understand. Down in the _maidan_
-on the ground, not fifty feet away--a giant Sikh in white turban,
-running forward with raised hands, like a messenger--a close-up
-possibly for Dicky’s eyes alone--suddenly halted, spun and slapped
-limply to the ground with a curving fling. A glorious fall, if it had
-been a bit of acting--the fall a man makes when a bullet hits him.
-
-But Dicky was quite possessed with the idea that the soldiers were
-firing blanks.
-
-At this point, an English officer roared at his Gurkhas, who apparently
-had been firing high. His words were in vernacular, but the American
-saw the little dark men shorten their range.
-
-Thus it dawned upon him slowly, as if he were a very stupid man, that
-Fyatt was punishing Amritsar indeed--in fact, that the General was
-making a day of it. Also at the same time it dawned upon him that the
-public square was walled. He had seen the wall before, partly formed
-of buildings, but it hadn’t properly registered in connection with the
-words of the twisted ascetic of Cawnpore.
-
-Now he knew also that the several narrow throats of the walled square,
-none so wide as the _kucha_ through which he had entered, had become
-points of intensified death, because the great throng had divided to
-crush itself against these impossible apertures. The English officers
-appeared to be directing the fire of the soldiers toward these points
-where the maddened masses were most dense.
-
-Almost directly across the square the wall was low, less than six feet.
-Hundreds were jammed against it, but their bodies were so locked by the
-pressure from behind that no one could climb or be pushed over into
-safety.
-
-The Gurkhas looked like monkey men. They stamped queerly as they
-pumped. They were being told what to do and were in a great
-concentration to obey exactly. They emptied their magazines, each man
-taking his own time, and halted to fill them again, carefully avoiding
-with their fingers the burning metal of the barrels, as they refilled
-and fired.
-
-An English civilian, an elderly man, face livid, bumped Cobden’s
-wounded shoulder, as he lurched past, muttering:
-
-“My God! I can’t watch this.”
-
-Another Englishman followed him, venting an hysterical laughter--both
-faces Dicky had seen in one of the motor cars. For an instant it seemed
-the only sane action left in the world--to rush out into the lane the
-way he had come, as these Englishmen were doing, to cover face and
-ears, to rush forth, to continue to the ends of India and the uttermost
-parts of the earth.
-
-Dicky started to follow, but turned back.... No, he wouldn’t rush off
-to be sick. This was the wall that he was to come to. It was something
-else.... What was it? Oh, yes, it was the Big Story that he had been
-pacing up and down the world to find.... Of course, it would be like
-this. He would find himself in the midst of it, without knowing at
-first.
-
-He ducked forward under the rifles of three _sepoys_ to reach the
-staff. He couldn’t go away without paying his respects to the General.
-Was not this what he had started out for to-day? He stumbled over a
-soldier on his knees--a Baluchee, vomiting with all his might. He saw
-Fyatt a few paces forward--Fyatt, grizzled, square-shouldered, behind
-a field glass. A mocking laugh rose in Richard Cobden’s heart. A man
-didn’t need a field glass to cover the _maidan_. One could see the
-faces; one could see the fallen; one could see the writhing cords of
-human bodies. Oh, no, one didn’t need a field glass. One could see
-the thousands on the _maidan_ now--as one up-turned face, the face of
-a child betrayed, but unable to believe. Fyatt merely chose this way
-to cover his own face. His back looked stiff and blocky as he swung
-slowly around behind the glasses. His shoulders and neck didn’t move.
-He turned from the hips, Dicky perceived, as he touched the General’s
-sleeve.
-
-
-
-
-XLVI
-
-THE HOOKED MAN
-
-
-A NOTE of unison had come to the great cry from the people at this
-moment--one note that tugged at the white man’s soul--the deadly hurt
-of a child.... General Fyatt was not tall for a soldier, with square
-lines of figure; square of chin and temple and shoulder and elbow,
-pivoting on his hips. But there were two remarkable curves in the
-ensemble, the sidewise curve of the hooked nose and the bow of his
-booted legs. Now as the American stood by, a new key presented itself
-to the man--that hooked smile. It opened other hooks--hook of the
-eye-corner, as well as the corner of the mouth and the bent nose, hook
-of the fingers on the field glass. The face turned to him--a white welt
-from the glasses on the bridge of the nose.
-
-Dicky felt the horrible slowness over everything--that somehow there
-was not in this man’s volition the power to order the firing to cease.
-No recognition showed in Fyatt’s eyes. He stared. It was like the
-man who had stared at him on the docks in Bombay, when he heard that
-America had entered the War.
-
-“Well, sir!”
-
-Dicky felt rebuked. Then came to his ears again the terrible drowning
-cry of the children, and he saw Fyatt differently--not as England; at
-least, not all of England--a black crooked finger operating merely--the
-face of England turned away.
-
-“I only wanted to ask----” Dicky stopped and raised his voice above the
-tumult of shots and voices. “Cobden of New York--saw you in France!”
-
-It was utterly ridiculous to yell one’s identity. He had forgotten that
-his face might look different under a bandage. The field glass that had
-been partly raised again was whipped down. The hooks tightened.
-
-“Ah, Cobden. Heard you were in town. Busy, you know!”
-
-“I see!” the American yelled back. He felt like a maniac. “I see! I
-merely wanted to ask, General, if you had gone mad--or have I?”
-
- * * * * *
-
-A young officer ran between them reporting that the ammunition was
-running out.
-
-“Sixteen hundred and fifty rounds, sir. Mainly used up. Some of the men
-finished----”
-
-“Ease them off back to the armored cars. Let the others finish
-firing--fire low.”
-
-“Not much wasted--only at first, sir!”
-
-Fyatt turned to Cobden, shouting staccato sentences: “Didn’t catch what
-you said. Teaching Amritsar a lesson! Plover says we ought to take a
-thousand for one! Teach them to assault women----”
-
-“Isn’t the lesson taught?” This time Dicky didn’t yell.
-
-“They haven’t dispersed yet.”
-
-“Dead men can’t disperse, General. The rest can’t get out----”
-
-Dicky walked away. He had looked again at the _maidan_. Everything was
-overturned. The thousands were prone or kneeling.... If one steel rifle
-bullet plows through sixteen inches of oak--how many human bodies will
-it plow through? How many will 1650 steel bullets?... No shots wasted
-since the first minute or two. They couldn’t be all down--wounded or
-done for. Suddenly Dicky realized that many of the people were now
-praying. He was back at the head of the lane, moving in circles like a
-man who has been beaten on the head.... A black-coated Englishman with
-a clergy’s vest, grasped him by the arm, peering into his face--eyes
-gone utterly daft. He shook Dicky’s arm and pushed it from him; then
-ran to a soldier near by and peered again.
-
-“Tell it to the General,” Dicky called absurdly, but his words weren’t
-heard.
-
-Now he saw one of the elder civilians who had escaped a few moments
-before, coming back. This person scrambled upon the mound from the lane
-side and inquired of the earth and sky:
-
-“I say--can’t he stop?”
-
-“He’s dispersing the people,” Dicky answered.
-
-The firing was desultory now. He heard orders for it to cease entirely.
-
-“We might need a cartridge or two in the streets going back----” a
-voice behind him said.
-
-“We’ve got the armored cars----” another answered.
-
-Then Richard Cobden happened to look at the west and found the sun
-still high in the sky. This struck him as altogether peculiar.
-
-
-
-
-XLVII
-
-IN THE WARM DARK
-
-
-COBDEN found himself in the lane, turned away from the _maidan_, his
-hands lifted and clenched. From behind still came the sounds of a ship
-going down--all but down, the firing ceased. In front of him, the
-_sepoys_ were running low as if to escape. It made him think of ball
-players leaving the field in the summer dusk after a game, running
-through the crowd to the clubhouse. The armored cars were backing out
-before him.
-
-“... Of course,” he kept telling himself, “it had to come this way--end
-of the old story, the beginning of the story of the age. This isn’t an
-English-Indian story. It’s a story of all the world.”
-
-Only natives were about him--ashen-lipped, muttering, frightened,
-dazed. He continued through the _kucha_, following the armored cars.
-He must get to the hotel. He had something to write, copy to file. But
-this delusion did not carry him far, before its absurdity struck home.
-The outer world would never hear of this story, until it leaked through
-by letter or word of mouth. The cables had been tight before. They
-would be drum-tight now.
-
-Vaguely and dully he realized that all things were changed for him
-for all time. The reporter in his makeup that had blithely set out
-for Jallianwalla Bagh was done for, all aloofness of the spectator
-gone--the little poise of ego which had carried him so well and so
-long, so far as associations with men went, up and down the world until
-this hour--that ego poise was leveled and smeared. Amritsar’s public
-square--the massacre in the _maidan_ had cloven him, and into the
-opening all India had rushed. The face of the hooked man came back to
-him--hard unto silliness, the English stare against the sinking city.
-
-He had overtaken the nearest of the armored cars. He looked upon them
-strangely, their sleek integration. They had not been needed; India had
-died and been born again without them. Something similar had happened
-in himself. No casual reporter now--one living emotion, rather--one
-fire, one fury, a burning of unqualified pity in every cell that held
-his life.
-
-The driver of his carriage hailed him. Cobden lifted his hand in
-return, but halted. Suddenly he realized that he didn’t want to go back
-to the _Golden Temple Inn_. The thing alive in him now was bigger than
-a story to be written, bigger than the finding of a free cable, which
-was not in India. He paid the driver and stemmed his way back against
-the people that thronged the lane. He knew now that he must keep his
-mouth shut in an altogether different way; that a new life, terrible in
-its potency, had seized upon him, was somehow being born in his flesh
-and brain. He must hold still--hold still.
-
-“Sixteen hundred rounds in ten minutes,” an English voice reiterated.
-
-Dicky’s head bowed under his helmet. He was slow to believe that the
-firing had lasted only ten minutes. It amazed him now that this was
-still a world of hot daylight. He looked back upon his coming through
-this lane as one does upon the last memory before a great sickness. He
-had to memorize and register again and again upon his faculties that
-he had alighted from his vehicle only fifteen minutes ago, and this
-was all one day, all one afternoon, all one quarter of an hour. In the
-interval there had been death and birth for India and for himself--a
-mysterious conception, at least.
-
-“God forgive me for losing my head,” he muttered, for there was
-something in him that still counted losing one’s head as the first
-moral offense. He was thinking of the moment standing before Fyatt.
-He would move very quietly now. As he reclimbed the mound where the
-_sepoy_ firing line had stood, it came to him that a man might lose his
-head for a moment, at least, to find his heart.
-
-He let himself down from the mound to the bloody ground. There he found
-presently a man wedged under the bodies of two already dead. He dragged
-this man loose, only to find that he was apparently bleeding to death
-from a shattered knee. He unwound a turban from one of the dead men
-and wrapped the wound, knotting it tightly above the flow of blood.
-His own left hand was impeded by the sling. Presently, he freed it
-entirely, his personal scratches appearing ridiculous in this broad
-field of bloody men. Thus began his work. It was as if he had entered
-single-handed upon a task to alter the sewerage system of a city.
-
-There were no English about, no police or native soldiers. Martial Law
-had done its part and gone to supper. The people flocking into the
-_maidan_ with moanings and horror-stricken cries now were those looking
-for their own. From the farthest parts of Amritsar they were drawn,
-from many houses to which one or more did not report for the evening
-meal. Living men and women--hurrying, bending--hands reaching down,
-hands pressed to faces--the quick and the dead.
-
-A while afterward he looked up to find that the sun had gone down. His
-knees were wet with blood. He felt the wet spreading heat upon his left
-shoulder. His wound had opened from exertion--a smile at that.
-
-He had worked a little on battlefields before, but they weren’t like
-this. A persistent thought held him that this was the field of his own
-dead! He didn’t understand how his brain could deal with such weird
-stuff. He concluded that he was in a half-dream where thoughts appeared
-veritable that wouldn’t hold water when he fully waked.
-
-Now he had extricated from the mass near the Hasali Gate the body of
-a trampled girl child. She was warm, possibly not dead. She smelled
-of the earth and tears.... His heart thumped, and pity like a warm
-breath surged through him--pity, which some one said was the pain of
-love--oh, yes, that was Miss Claes’ expression. He touched the girl’s
-long coarse black hair in the thick twilight.
-
-His lips formed with explanations and thoughts as he worked--the things
-he would tell Pidge, the way he would tell these things to Pidge. He
-placed the unconscious one down at the feet of a native doctor who was
-binding wounds, but often raising his eyes to heaven in prayer that the
-soldiers might not come back.
-
-Dicky stood up in the warm dark, lifted his helmet and mopped his
-forehead with his grimy right hand. He could actually smell what horses
-smelled (as he remembered in France and Arabia) when they snorted
-and ran aside.... The dead would never end--hundreds of dead--public
-square covered with dead. And what was pulling at his brain--something
-trying to gain admittance? He had it now. Pidge Musser was close again;
-close as she had come in the _Ashrama_--not weeping, horrified, not
-in the least dismayed or hopeless by all these lifeless ones on the
-ground, but the spirit of swift-handed helpfulness, utterly in accord
-with him in thought and purpose, no words being necessary. So this
-was why he had been standing in the dark with uncovered head, rubbing
-his hand over his brow--that her closeness might come through to him!
-Not so weird, after all, that he should know this, standing upon the
-soaked turf of the _maidan_. Things of this kind had often happened to
-soldiers on the battlefields of France.
-
-Was this what it was all about then--the separation, the struggling--at
-last to become connected to her this way, though across the world? He
-mustn’t study it too closely. He had a warning that he would spoil it,
-unless he kept on heartily with the work. So he continued separating
-the wounded, but every little while when his hands were free he would
-stop and uncover his head to the moist warmth of the evening. Would she
-come nearer and nearer through the years?... And these were her dead
-and her dying, and she had blessed the little Hindu girl with coarse
-black hair. He smiled at the absurdity of his thoughts.
-
-Now it was full dark and the cries of the living women across the
-_maidan_ were raised in agony because they must leave the Bagh before
-the curfew sounded. Hundreds were still searching. They had not found
-their own, but it was close to eight o’clock and this--the dead on the
-field--was what had come of breaking Martial Law to-day. It did not
-matter that lives might still be saved if the wounded could be taken
-out from the dead. _Sarkar_ had fired upon them to-day. _Sarkar_ would
-come with more death, if they disobeyed. Husbands dragged away the
-women whose faces turned back.
-
-Richard Cobden stayed on. He had the sense of not being alone.
-Moreover, there was much to do. There were voices to answer. He heard
-cries and callings from the windows of the houses that overlooked the
-_maidan_. No English came that night--but the pariah dogs from all the
-city and outskirts. They moved like ghouls in the shadows. There were
-mysteries everywhere--white vapors from the ground. He saw and felt the
-unutterable; became rich for future years in that one night with the
-fruits of sadness.
-
-
-
-
-XLVIII
-
-“INDIA’S MESSENGER”
-
-
-COBDEN walked back from the _maidan_ through the streets of Amritsar
-in the dawn. He did not feel like a foreigner. That which had happened
-during the night had furnished him with what rarely comes to a white
-man--the Indian point of view. He was in the Indian fabric for the
-moment, at least; no longer a spectator from the West. He did not
-hate England, not even the crooked finger that had mismanaged for
-England. He knew something right now that he might not be able even to
-remember--more sorrow than anger.
-
-As he approached the Golden Temple, near which was the Inn, Nagar
-appeared in the street, and they walked together in silence. As he
-tottered a little, Nagar’s arm swung around him and Dicky said:
-
-“Don’t. I’m very dirty.”
-
-Now that the light was coming on, they saw people hurrying to the
-Jallianwalla Bagh.
-
-In the room, Dicky said:
-
-“Make a lot of tea, Nagar. Sorry you won’t join me in a little drink
-from the flask.”
-
-A moment later, he said:
-
-“I think after all, you’ll have to help me get off this shirt. I’m a
-rubbed-in mess of blood and dirt.”
-
-Nagar perceived that the body of the American trembled full-length;
-also that his clothing was soaked with blood from the wounded shoulder,
-as well as from stains received from handling others.
-
-“... Some of them crawled about in the dark!” Dicky was saying. “A
-woman sat there moaning through the whole night. The pariahs came--I
-heard them lapping, lapping. From the windows of the houses around the
-Bagh came the cries of the women who dared not disobey the curfew....
-Why, that ten minutes of firing was longer than whole years I lived as
-a schoolboy, but the ten hours since dark--that passed, Nagar, like
-a man walking by a house, not a lame man.... I saw your India, oh,
-yes. The gentlest-tempered crowd I ever moved through, but something
-dangerous and deadly in its pain and grief. God help us--when you wake
-up----”
-
-Nagar helped him. Dicky bathed his neck and face and hair copiously
-with one hand, and then washed the left arm. With Nagar’s help the
-wound was packed with clean lint. Dicky drank hot tea, filling his
-goblet several times and shivering, though the heat of the night was
-still in the room. Finally he sat down in his bathrobe by the open
-window and lit a cigarette. The sunlight had found the gold of the
-Temple dome.
-
-“... I actually forgot myself,” Dicky repeated. “When an American
-forgets himself, Nagar, you can be sure a big show is being pulled
-off.... I’ve smoked too much, talked too much. I am going to lie down
-for a little--until breakfast.... Bed! Think of having a bed, in
-Amritsar. A bed with sheets.... Out there so many were lying on the
-ground. Oh, I say, Nagar, where will they put them all?”
-
-The Hindu’s cool, slim fingers reached over and touched his hand. He
-didn’t speak, just kept his hand still, and Dicky found it easier to
-stop talking, because of that hand; easier to endure the furious forces
-of activity in his brain. Finally Nagar spoke:
-
-“I had to stay with the students. They wanted to go to the _maidan_.
-That would not have been well, but it was well for you to be there--to
-forget yourself there through the hours. It will come forth from you
-for years--not as the voice of an American, but as a citizen of the
-world. You have prepared long; last night India found you prepared, and
-dared to show you something of herself. Miss Claes would be very glad
-to be here with us this morning.”
-
-Dicky’s mind fumbled with the idea that he had not only come closer
-into the Indian heart, but into Nagar’s as well.
-
-“You might sleep a little until breakfast. I shall not leave you
-until after that. You are very tired and spent, but you will not be
-injured from last night. When a man forgets himself, as you say, he is
-strangely replenished.”
-
-But Dicky did not sleep. They breakfasted early and Nagar arose, saying:
-
-“... In the days that you remain in Amritsar finishing your work (for
-last night will mean more and more to you as the days go on) you and I
-shall not be much together. What you see in Amritsar--you must watch
-without feeling or partisanship. One cannot tell--you may see strange
-things. Remember, always remember, that you are American; that as an
-American you have no enemies, and belong to the world. In the fusion of
-all Europe, which America is, to form a new type of nobility, remember
-that no country has furnished a nobler ingredient--than England. And
-forgive my many words, Richard, if I ask you to remember this also:
-that anything which might happen to me here in Amritsar in the days you
-remain, must never make you forget that you have a message to carry to
-America.”
-
-“I don’t understand, Nagar.”
-
-“It is difficult to say. I can only repeat: Anything which might happen
-to me in this city must not arouse in you a personal or partisan
-effort to help me. We must be strangers--unless I come to you alone.
-The English are beside themselves; they know not what they do. You
-must have no feelings about me--to betray you. Go further into the
-English. Forget me--except as a part of your own source of kindness and
-strength.”
-
-Nagar was gone. As Dicky conned all this, he began to wonder if he
-would see his friend again. All the days before this in Amritsar, he
-had been waiting for things to get quiet so that he and Nagar might
-really begin to get together.... “India’s messenger,” he muttered, as
-he fell asleep.
-
-
-
-
-XLIX
-
-PIDGE TRIES GRAMERCY PARK
-
-
-THE second part of Dicky Cobden’s letter about Gandhi written after his
-three interviews in Bombay, reached Pidge fully a fortnight after the
-first. Of course, it interested her, as it could no one else.
-
- ... From several angles I placed before Mahatma-ji, the concept of
- dreamers of all countries--the dream of the mating of the East and
- West, that the New Race is to be born of this mating; that globe
- means globe, and a world citizen must belong to all; that as Goethe
- says, “above the nations is Humanity.” This thing, you understand,
- has attracted me merely as a concept, not with the dreamer’s fire at
- all. Short work Gandhi made of the mating of the East and West. The
- damsel, New India, is not ready for marriage. She is not clean. She
- has not found herself, therefore has not herself to give. (These are
- not his words, but the idea.) She must become free, before she has
- anything to bestow. She is just a perfumed body, which the West has
- already desecrated and begun to despise--merely an offering now, not
- a wife. What Gandhi arrays himself against to-day is the fact that
- India has already fallen under the lure of the West. She has felt the
- fascination of his big toys, the glamour of his mighty works. The
- Little Man has made me see that a woman who “falls for” a man, can
- never become the man-maker which a wife must be, maker of her husband
- as well as child. Queer, how it came to me that way first, before
- I saw the man’s side of it--the great thing you have done, pushing
- me back, forever pushing me back into myself, until that day when I
- shall be able to _stand_, not “fall for” you. I am learning--learning
- so slowly what I bargained for that night at the Punjabi Fireplace.
- “... Go back into your house!” Gandhi cries to India. (Not his words,
- you know; merely my picture of him.) “Fast and pray. That is safe.
- Fast and pray and spin! Pray to the hum of the _charka_. Forget your
- lover. Find yourself. You are the East, the inner. Already you have
- been lured by his brutal boyish games. You have flattered him, but
- already he despises you. What does he bring now, but a bloody carcass
- to your hearth, saying, ‘Arise. Gut and skin.’”... Mahatma-ji is on
- the ground. Now, To-day, seeing but one step--the next step--crying,
- “Go Back!” This is the most extraordinary part to me, that his very
- limitations appear to be in use!
-
-In early July, Pidge made her first move since coming to New York. The
-spirit had gone out of the house in Harrow Street for her, with Miss
-Claes’ departure. She sent the boy-baby up into the country and took a
-room at the _Sennacherib_ in Gramercy Park, a step of which Rufe Melton
-strongly approved:
-
-“You were getting stale down there, Pan,” he said, one night when he
-came to dine. “The Village is all right for a novelty, but real New
-York hasn’t time for that sort of thing. I see you’re running Carver’s
-novel in the _P. S._ What did you get in on that for? Did he give it to
-you?”
-
-“Rather not. It cost real money.”
-
-“A hang-over from John Higgins’ desk?”
-
-“No, we took it after--after----”
-
-“Carver could never have slipped that over on you, Pan,” he broke in,
-“if you had lived uptown. But no, you never would listen to me, that a
-thing isn’t great because it’s nasty----”
-
-“You think it isn’t a successful serial?”
-
-“Not a chance----”
-
-There was truth in what he said. The new novel was rapidly unreeling in
-generous installments, without much gratifying noise from the readers.
-
-Rufe confided that he was doing a long story, and that Redge Walters
-was very much interested in it as a serial prospect.
-
-“What’s it on?” she asked.
-
-“Business,” said Rufe. “Shipping--grain--iron--packing-houses.
-Everybody’s panting for business since the War.”
-
-“Sounds American.”
-
-“Epic of the Great Lakes, Pan. Never knew what I was about, till
-now----”
-
-She was thinking of Amritsar--of the first Amritsar mail recently in
-from Richard Cobden, posted at Pondicherry, French India--of _hathis_
-and her new _mahout_--of British bulletins, native documents, and
-Dicky’s own straight story of April 10th and 13th. It had been
-difficult for Pidge not to become too excited by all this. For the
-first time Dicky’s work had carried her off her feet. That had been
-days ago, and she had not altogether trusted her fiercely fresh
-enthusiasm, but it didn’t subside, and at the present minute, the epic
-of the Great Lakes sounded to her like a forlorn side show. Moreover,
-Dicky’s Amritsar story, about to be printed in _The Public Square_,
-took away most of the disappointment in that Carver’s novel hadn’t
-proved a powerful stimulus to circulation.
-
-“Its capital is Chicago,” Rufe further divulged about his book. “Funny
-how you have to get away from there to see that big town. All the years
-I lived in Chi--never got next to her, as I have since I came to New
-York.... Yes, it’s booming along. Haven’t been really right until just
-now, since I was gassed.”
-
-“I’m glad, Rufe.”
-
-“It’s got a _mahatma_ in it,” Rufe chuckled.
-
-“A what?”
-
-“What’s the matter with you, Pan?”
-
-“That word--from you!”
-
-“You look as if you’d seen the Dweller----”
-
-“The what, Rufe?”
-
-He chuckled again. “Didn’t know I’ve been going in for the occult, did
-you? Say Pan, there’s one fine thing about you. I never feel as if you
-could be disappointed in your Rufie.”
-
-“Why is that?” She was entirely off his trend.
-
-“You haven’t started to expect anything of me.... Oh, yes, had to have
-a _mahatma_ in the story. It’s the new thing. Everybody’s got one
-since the War. Not enough to go round.... This _mahatma_ of mine in Chi
-is wise to the stock exchange. It’s his tip, you know, that the whole
-tale turns on. Reader never thinks of it--until it’s pulled.”
-
-“Where did you get your model?”
-
-He laughed again. “Right in the family, Pan. Been going to hear
-Adolphus. Say, you never did appreciate your father. Bad habit of
-yours, Pan, honest to God--to lose respect for a man just because you
-live with him.”
-
-Pidge was in a whirl. Her hands dropped down to the seat of her chair
-on either side and gripped hard. The world looked about as big to her
-as Delaware; Amritsar and New York signaling to each other.
-
-“Heard him this afternoon--in the ballroom of the _Pershing_--swell
-crowd out,” Rufe pursued. “Talked on Lytton’s _Zanoni_. I’m going
-to read that book. And didn’t Adolph put it over to the damsels and
-dowagers! Just what I need for my white _mahatma_. Where does the old
-man get all that? It’s a wonder you haven’t gotten in on your father’s
-stuff, Pan.”
-
-She wanted Miss Claes as never before. This was too much for one small
-person to hold. When she really listened again, Rufe was asking to go
-upstairs with her to see her room.
-
-“It’s just a common room. What’s the use?”
-
-“Little afraid to see me alone, eh, Pan?”
-
-“Not afraid--only what’s the use?”
-
-“You might see it different----”
-
-“I might have once, Rufe----”
-
-“Say, Pan----”
-
-“Yes?”
-
-“Does Mrs. Melton want to be free?”
-
-Her hands dropped to the seat of her chair again. She saw the new want
-in his eyes and something else--the old captive thing.
-
-There were two possible answers to his question, and it took every
-minute of her twenty-five years, and all that had gone before, to
-choose. This is what she said:
-
-“Mrs. Melton will never be free!”
-
-“What--what do you mean?”
-
-“Ask your _mahatma_, Rufe.”
-
-
-
-
-L
-
-DICKY’S IDEA WORKS
-
-
-PIDGE felt the hugeness of life around her at last. Doors were being
-opened as never before. She saw as clearly as if Rufe Melton had
-confessed to her, that it was he who wanted to be free. She could
-grant this well enough; having been forced to it, in effect, from the
-beginning. He would doubtless come again soon, making it plain that he
-wanted her to agree to divorce. The point was that certain barriers and
-limitations in her own life were suddenly lifted. It was as if she had
-emerged from a city, to the shore of the sea, and before her eyes was
-an unbroken horizon line.
-
-The abrupt extension frightened her. The story of Amritsar now
-unfolding for her from the Indian mail--in its hatelessness, in its
-devotion to truth and unsentimental love for the people--unveiled for
-her eyes a _man_--not Gandhi, not Nagar, but Richard Cobden, himself.
-The few sentences he had inserted in his letter about Gandhi, “--the
-great thing you have done, pushing me back, forever pushing me back
-into myself, until the day when I shall be able to _stand_, not fall
-for you!”--in these words there was for Pidge an invincible call.
-
-She had searched the language for another expression to convey
-what that little slangy verb “to fall for” meant. It was one of her
-treasures. When one “fell for” a person or thing--one couldn’t stand
-for the same. One was captive, not co-worker. Here was the difference
-between infatuation and romance. Dicky had found it out. There was
-expressed in his letter more than she had dreamed as possible; and this
-time words thrilled her furiously, because she believed they had become
-working knowledge, before it had occurred to him to express the idea.
-She saw this knowledge working out in his studies of Gandhi. He did
-not “fall for” the Little Man. He did not rush into eulogy; he sought
-to understand. In a word, he stood for Gandhi. But now that Dicky was
-ready to stand for her, she was ready to fall, and all her horizons
-were being pushed back to give her room.
-
-... She was very weary. She had not known it before. _The Public
-Square_ thrived. It was strong pulsed with new life. For the first time
-in her experience she sensed from the magazine’s field, following the
-issue of the first Amritsar story--silence, the perfect tribute, the
-instantaneous readjustment of all other journals; then crowded mails,
-the answer from people everywhere. Something about Gandhi touched
-hundreds of people to the point of saying so, in a letter to _The
-Public Square_.
-
-Yes, she was weary. She had held grimly to the post. She wanted to turn
-it over to Dicky Cobden now.... It had been like this once before--on
-the night of Somebody’s Shoulder. She had wanted to give him what he
-wanted that night--the tiredest and most hopeless girl in New York.
-Only that night it had been--for what he had. Now it was for what he
-was.
-
-John Higgins lost his bearings in the city traffic. A copy of the issue
-containing the first section of the Amritsar story was in the old
-editor’s hand when he fell in the street. She was with him for several
-hours, until the end. He looked at her long and strangely--eyes more
-“run-out” than ever. He did not seem to hear her words, but if she
-remained in silence too long, a little frown gathered on his forehead,
-and his hand would pull at hers. He had waited for the big story. Once
-he said:
-
-“I wish Dicky would come,” and that brought Pidge’s slow tears.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The next day a solicitor called at the office and Pidge still felt
-squally. She couldn’t grasp what he was saying. She thought it had
-something to do with a secret society that was going to attend an
-absurd matter, known as “obsequies.” She was deluged in words.
-
-“... Be perfectly calm, Mrs. Melton,” the solicitor said at last. “This
-isn’t exactly bad news, but I’ve known lasting injury from the one, as
-well as the other----”
-
-“Please--what are you talking about?”
-
-“Your legacy----”
-
-“My--I don’t----”
-
-“From the late John Higgins----”
-
-“But it was only last night!”
-
-“The late John Higgins, nevertheless. The demise----”
-
-“And what about it?”
-
-“That he has left you--this paper in my hand being the memorandum--his
-interest in _The Public Square_----”
-
-“Me----”
-
-“A half-interest in the ownership, to be exact----”
-
-Pidge glanced around the room. The man was sitting. The first and
-terrible obstacle of life was to remove him, or escape from him.
-
-“What have I to do?”
-
-“Just sign----”
-
-But he was still sitting, after she had signed. He wanted to be
-sociable.... She was on the car going home. She hopped off at Eighth
-Street, and was turned into Harrow, before she realized that she didn’t
-live there any more but in Gramercy Park.... Curving Harrow Street
-was quiet and calling. She went in to the curve and stood before the
-old green front. A sign on the door announced “Rooms, Permanent and
-Transient.”... “What kind of rooms are transient rooms?” she thought.
-The curb and doorstep thronged with memories. “Oh, Dicky, it’s too
-much,” she whispered at last. “Come soon, and prop me up!”
-
-
-
-
-LI
-
-“WE LOOK UPON WOMEN AS SACRED”
-
-
-“_DO you people want peace or war? If you wish for war the Government
-is prepared for it, and if you want peace, then obey my orders and
-open all your shops; else, I will shoot. For me the battlefield of
-France or Amritsar is the same. I am a military man and I will go
-straight. Neither shall I move to the right, nor to the left. Speak
-up, if you want war. In case there is to be peace, my order is to open
-all shops at once. Obey orders. I do not wish to have anything else.
-I have served in the military for over thirty years. I understand the
-Indian sepoy and the Sikh people very well. You must inform me of the
-budmashes. I will shoot them. Obey my orders and open shops. Speak up
-if you want war._”
-
-General Fyatt was talking to a large company of Amritsar’s native
-representatives, lawyers, merchants, doctors, in the _kotwali_, the day
-after the massacre.
-
-The Deputy Commissioner added: “You have committed a bad act in killing
-the English. The revenge will be taken upon you and upon your children.”
-
-The large company of natives listened. Not one spoke of the
-Jallianwalla Bagh, or of the dead which still lay there. Richard Cobden
-reasoned with himself; neither did he speak. Out of all the burn of
-feelings and the great waste of ineffectual thoughts, it was dawning
-upon him that in their own good time, the dead of Amritsar’s public
-square would speak for themselves.
-
-In the days that followed Dicky worked quietly, worked from the
-standpoint of the English almost entirely. He “exposed” himself like
-a film to the aftermath of the tragedy. He went after facts and
-statements. It was never to be ascertained, the number of killed and
-injured. The English granted about three hundred dead; the natives
-claimed five times that, even more. He was much at Headquarters; and
-confined himself altogether to the Civil Lines. Through Lala Relu Ram,
-he received certain secret reports from the native point of view, and
-guarded these little tissues assiduously. A cigarette case contained
-them all.
-
-He went each day to the Crawling Lane, as one doing a city beat for a
-newspaper would call at city hall or recorders’ court. This was the
-place where Miss Sherwood was assaulted by the natives, on the 10th. It
-was narrow and thickly populated, with double-story buildings on either
-side, and numerous blind alleys shooting out of the lane.
-
-The crawling order remained in force for eight days. Although General
-Fyatt called it “going on all fours,” and it had been called the “hand
-and knee order” by the press, the process consisted in the persons
-lying flat on their bellies and crawling like reptiles. Any lifting of
-the knees or bending thereof brought the rifle butts of the soldiers
-and police on the native backs.
-
-“But, General,” Dicky said cheerfully, “people are forced to crawl
-through there or go without food and medicine--people who have never
-seen Miss Sherwood, much less taken part in the assault.”
-
-“She was beaten,” General Fyatt declared. “We look upon women as
-sacred.”
-
-“Ah,” said the American.
-
-In the Crawling Lane and elsewhere were erected _tikitis_ for flogging.
-These were triangles of wood, upon which the hands could be suspended
-and tied. A general order was issued for all the native population
-of Amritsar, a city of one hundred and sixty thousand, to _salam_ to
-English in the streets. Those who did not _salam_ were arrested, often
-flogged. Many of the people were so terrified, that they dared not sit
-down anywhere outside of their own houses, lest one of the English
-appear suddenly and not find them standing and in position to _salam_.
-
-During the late days of April, Richard Cobden did not see Nagar, though
-occasional brief messages reached him from his friend through the
-students. One of these was a suggestion, which Dicky followed, to send
-off whatever mail he had ready, in care of one of the young men who was
-leaving for Pondicherry, French India. Finally there was the episode of
-the tennis court, in the Civil Lines. Dicky drew up to the crowd.
-
-A set of doubles or singles was not in progress. This was a game of
-triangle--a _tikiti_ in the center of the court; a naked native strung
-up and being whipped. Dicky had seen about enough of this, and was
-ready to turn back, when something of the carriage of the native’s head
-arrested his eye, and started a peculiar sinking in his heart.
-
-The bare back was toward him, but the face turned sidewise revealed
-the profile of Nagar. His hands were strapped high toward the top of
-the great frame formed in the shape of the letter A. Nagar had been
-stripped to the loincloth, his head bare, his white robes and turban
-cloth flung upon the turf. The stripes were being put on by one of the
-native police. The whip was a rigid canelike affair, but longer than
-a walking-stick. A detachment of native soldiers was drawn up on one
-side, police on the other. Two young officers of the military, one of
-whom Dicky knew, were in charge of the affair.
-
-Dicky had halted, hand to mouth. Each stroke blinded his eyes; his body
-became, for an instant after it, like a house in flames with every
-curtain tightly drawn. Then he would see the sunlight before the next
-stroke, and the naked man with bleeding back. He had direct need to
-turn his back upon this thing--the old nausea. It never occurred to
-him that this was his own great test, greater than Nagar’s, for such
-tests of the human heart do not come announced; but out of all past
-experience, one thing stood in the midst of a rocking universe--that if
-he did anything in this red blindness, he would do worse than nothing.
-
-He walked away, his elbows jerking up as another stroke fell. The thing
-that saved him was already accomplished. The turning of his back was
-all that was required, apparently, since in this instant he got a
-life and death grip on the word _Messenger_. Was he Nagar’s friend or
-India’s messenger?
-
-Then he knew just one furious smearing doubt. What of human loyalty--to
-stand by and allow this thing to go on? He was answered in his mind
-from Nagar’s own words, “Mahatma-ji’s ideal isn’t human, Richard. It is
-of the Soul.” Action of a foreigner in behalf of a native would only
-intensify the English fears and the native’s plight. To rush in was
-John Higgins’ code. Evidently there was another.
-
-He walked around to meet Nagar face to face. Ten feet away, he stood
-until Nagar’s eyes came up to his. Had Nagar’s hand been free to lift
-and command _Silence_, his lips free to speak, the word could not have
-been more fiercely impressed. Indeed, the word _Silence_ seemed to have
-been shot into the American’s consciousness.
-
-A blow fell. Nagar’s eyes closed; his lips stretched out as if struck
-by an invisible hand. Then under the trailing eyelids, Dicky saw a look
-of inexpressible gratitude and relief--the barest beginning of a smile.
-Nagar had found him fit to trust. It was another moment of real life,
-that moment of the look, another instant of essential recognition.
-
- * * * * *
-
-“Oh, I say, Cobden--have you seen a ghost?”
-
-It was Langoyer, one of the young English officers, who spoke. He was
-leaning upon his cane, to flick a cigarette stub off the court with
-his boot. Langoyer paid no attention to the flogging. The men attended
-to that, you know. One had to stand by--as one would wait for his horse
-to drink.
-
-Dicky was now being lashed to the quick himself. He had seen
-clearly--but a sort of hideous night had settled upon him again. He had
-to watch his temper.
-
-“How many does this man get, Langoyer?” he managed to ask.
-
-“Thirty.”
-
-“What for?”
-
-“He knows more of the sedition of Kitchlew and Satyapal than he’ll
-tell.”
-
-The figure had gone limp on the triangle.
-
-“Fainted,” gasped Richard Cobden.
-
-The whipping stopped. A tin bucket of water was brought and dashed
-upon Nagar’s face and shoulders. A moan came from him because he was
-not quite conscious. Then the knees drew up and his feet felt for the
-ground.
-
-The lieutenant stepped forward taking Nagar’s ear in his right hand and
-calling aloud:
-
-“Will you tell the truth now of Kitchlew’s plot against Government?”
-
-Nagar looked at him without hatred. He tried to speak twice before the
-words came:
-
-“I have already told the truth----”
-
-“How many stripes have been given?” Langoyer asked.
-
-“Twenty-six.”
-
-“Finish the thirty, then take him to _kotwali_. A few days more will
-make him tell all right.”
-
-The American remained. One--two--three--four.
-
-The hands were unstrapped. The robe was cast about the shoulders. Nagar
-could stand. Dicky left the officers and followed his friend and the
-native policemen to the station, feeling like a pariah’s whelp.
-
-
-
-
-LII
-
-THE OLD FACE
-
-
-DICKY reflected that there were two ways of looking at a person or a
-thing, a fact proven several times in his experience. There had been
-a moment in the presence of Gandhi, after many minutes of talk, when
-the face, that had been dull and unattractive as a camel driver’s, had
-suddenly appeared to him with memorable, essential significance. It had
-been so with Miss Claes: also the moment when he had really seen Pidge,
-as they stood together on the Palisades of Santa Monica. Recently he
-had caught an immortal something in the look from Nagar on the rack.
-
-He did not see Nagar again in Amritsar, but up to mid-May the students
-reported that his friend was still imprisoned. The sound of those
-falling strokes was slow to die out of the corridors of Dicky’s memory.
-They awoke him in the night. It was far easier, however, to recall
-the splendor of gameness in the way Nagar had taken his beating.
-This satisfied every American instinct; and even above this, was the
-mystery of compassion for the English, in Nagar’s face. Here was a man
-on a tennis court in a remote Punjabi town, hardly heard-of in this
-war-racked world, plainly putting over the thing he had marveled at, as
-a small boy in Sunday school: “Father, forgive them, for they know not
-what they do.”
-
-Apparently the same majestic composure. Life held many things; yet
-Richard Cobden couldn’t be sure altogether, that he had not outraged
-the spirit of friendship in failing to register his protest of word and
-deed. Of course, the consequences might have been disastrous, but, at
-least, a certain man-to-man loyalty would have been satisfied.
-
-If further tortures were inflicted upon Nagar, Dicky was not informed.
-The Amritsar story was no longer on the outside; it was in Richard
-Cobden’s brain and heart. He wrote some of it and his letters were
-forwarded, but still he conned and brooded. Having held still through
-the whipping of Nagar, he found it easier to stand in the midst of
-current events without losing his head, or letting emotion or opinion
-have right of way.
-
-Late in May, a student brought word that Nagar was free and had
-gone south. This was all that Dicky had been waiting for. Crawling,
-salaming, flogging, imprisonment and forced testimony had long since
-become to him a full and bitter cup. At the station, as he waited for
-his train, a student, edging near, managed to whisper two words:
-
-“_Ashrama_, Ahmedabad.”
-
-The American’s head bowed slightly. He had meant to go to Ahmedabad
-anyway.
-
-He was not met at the station there, but a servant at the _Entresden_
-told him to go at once to the _Ashrama_. He obeyed, and found himself
-listening for the voice of Mahatma-ji, as he entered, but his eyes
-searched the shadows of the hall for Nagar, a kind of breathless pain
-about it all.
-
-As the door of an inner room opened, at last, and the native who
-conducted him drew back, Dicky saw a woman standing in the dimness. Her
-face, turned toward him, was a mere blur of darkness, but there was a
-leap toward her in Richard Cobden’s breast. Then he stood before her,
-in a daze of joy, one hand in hers, one upon her shoulder.
-
-“It happened very quickly in New York,” she told him. “A letter saying
-that I was coming could hardly have reached you before the steamer that
-brought me----”
-
-“But, Miss Claes--New York! What are we to do--no Harrow Street?”
-
-“You will know what to do,” she said. “And about the things that were
-in your rooms. I had them carefully boxed and sent to your mother, who
-was well when I left. Also your aunt and sister.”
-
-He took from his pocket the old dark key to the “parlor” door. She bent
-and touched it.
-
-“Keep it, Richard,” she said, “until I send you another.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-“And Nagar----” he began at length.
-
-“He is here.”
-
-“And well? I could get so little word.”
-
-“Nagar has been hurt, but is healing. Look----”
-
-Dicky turned to find his friend standing behind them at the door.
-He had felt a presence there, but thought it was the native who had
-brought him. Nagar’s eyes looked very large in the wasted face.
-
-“Oh, yes, all is well with me,” he said. “I have been sorry to leave
-you so much alone in the north.... Yes,” he added, “it was harder
-for you than for me--the test that day on the tennis court. You were
-brave, my friend. I knew all was well--when the instant passed and you
-remained silent.”
-
-“How do you mean--all was well?”
-
-“I knew that the message of India would get to America--since you did
-not spoil it by defending me.”
-
-Nagar turned to Miss Claes, adding:
-
-“I saw the fury and fright rise in his eyes, and all the impulses
-of ethics of the West--then silence over all. It was as if we were
-cemented----”
-
-Dicky remembered that last word afterward.
-
-As he moved about and talked, he was vaguely conscious of watching the
-other two together. It was as if Pidge would want to hear of every
-gesture and detail. Miss Claes was less Indian here than in Harrow
-Street. There he had thought of her as belonging to the East; here she
-seemed of the West. Something of the composure he had noted on the
-tennis court had come to stay in Nagar’s eyes. As moments passed, Dicky
-knew that they contained deep vitalities of meaning that would appear
-in coming days.
-
-It was as if his limitations were being stretched, but by consummate
-hands. There was repeatedly brought to him, from them, something that
-he refused to hear or dwell with: that he had done well, that he was
-deeply approved of in their sight; that there was much more to take
-place between them as a group, even though they were to stay in Asia,
-and he was leaving for The States.... Then all faces turned, and in the
-doorway stood the Little Man.
-
-No one spoke, but to Richard Cobden it was one moment of his life
-that he thought of as religious. Mahatma-ji came in between them, and
-Dicky felt the old urge somehow to help with his hands; the sense,
-too, of all India thronging, whispering around them. For a moment the
-four had been standing in silence, when they heard the _sweep_ of bare
-slow feet in the hall, and now an old dark face was in the doorway, a
-smile serene as nothing else on earth but the Hills themselves--a dark
-wrinkled old face, and she came forward and stood very low and little
-in the midst of them--Gandhi’s comrade.
-
- * * * * *
-
-In San Francisco, waiting for the departure of his train east, a card
-was sent up to Cobden’s hotel room. It was from Chris Heidt, the
-managing editor of his former newspaper connection.
-
-“Hello, Cobden. Just noticed you were off ship. What did you bring
-back?”
-
-Dicky reflected. “The story of Amritsar,” he said finally.
-
-“Amritsar, what’s that?”
-
-“The first big story I ever ran across. I feel like one of Job’s
-servants, who said he alone remained to make a report.”
-
-Mr. Heidt had been much on trains during the past few days, and had
-missed the fact, so far, that _The Public Square_ had begun to publish
-the story.
-
-“Not going to bury it in a weekly, are you?”
-
-“I have much more than _The Public Square_ could use in months. It
-really should get out into the broad market. The end of one world
-and the birth of another took place that Sunday in Amritsar--all in
-miniature, you understand----”
-
-He spoke of Gandhi, whose name had scarcely been heard at this time in
-America, and touched upon the story of _maidan_.
-
-“Sure,” said Mr. Heidt. “Sure, it’s a big yarn, but months ago. No way
-to substantiate it. You’re a little out of perspective, Cobden, seeing
-it all first hand that way.”
-
-“I can substantiate it,” Dicky said queerly.
-
-“I know, but the whole story’s a trouble-maker. Far as I can make out,
-this Gandhi is a sort of sanctimonious Lenine, and we’re not promoting
-any kind of Lenines just now. Red roughhouses all over the world, but
-we’re not advertising the fact. The best newspaper interests here
-and in England are letting that sort of thing die down. Everybody’s
-healthily intent on getting back to business right now. Make a corking
-fiction setting--your Amritsar--series of short stories that would do
-no harm.”
-
-Thus Richard had his American perspective restored.
-
-
-
-
-LIII
-
-THE WHITE LIGHT AGAIN
-
-
-DICKY was considerably subdued. India had permitted his ideas to
-romp at large. He had forgotten that, home again, these ideas must
-be brought down to an orderly trudge. America, as a whole, seemed
-one-pointedly trying to get back to work after the War, calling all
-protestors untimely and in bad taste. Dicky thought out the situation
-minutely and severely during the three full travel days to Chicago. At
-the end of each day he was somewhat exhausted from the big bonfires
-that had taken place within him--piles of rubbish, glamour and the like.
-
-In Chicago he procured two numbers of _The Public Square_ preceding
-the current issue, and before his eyes was the manner in which Pidge
-had “sprung” the Amritsar story. He felt the magic of her working with
-him in an altogether new way. The latest number confessed, not without
-grace, that the story of Gandhi and Amritsar had aroused the more
-open-minded element of the American public, as nothing else since the
-War; but thanks to Chris Heidt, the returning correspondent watched the
-rising tide of public interest in his work, as a spectator unexpectant,
-instead of a performer who fancies he has the world by the tail. It
-dawned on him, however, that Chris Heidt hadn’t known quite all that
-was going on in America under the homely thunders of trade.
-
-He reached New York in the early evening and went to Fiftieth Street at
-once. There he had dinner, and an hour of talk, before he rang up Mrs.
-Melton at the _Sennacherib_.
-
-“Is this Mr. Cobden?” a voice asked presently.
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Mrs. Melton left word for you to go to 54 Harrow Street--to the parlor
-on the second floor, the card says.”
-
-Mr. Cobden didn’t take out his own car that night. Perhaps he didn’t
-feel as if he could keep his mind on getting himself downtown. He sat
-back in the cushions of his mother’s limousine; and Conrad, whose
-career as Cobden coachman had changed to Cobden chauffeur nearly twenty
-years ago, handled the big box like a hearse.
-
-“Sit tight, Dicky,” he breathed, and never once urged Conrad forward.
-In fact, Dicky didn’t speak, until it became necessary to show the way
-a little, for Harrow Street is tricky to find from Washington Square.
-
-“Don’t wait--yes, you’d better wait, Conrad,” he called, crossing the
-walk to the door.
-
-The outer door was unlatched. He hurried up one flight. The same
-curtain, the white light.
-
-“Pidge----”
-
-She came forth from the inner room. She halted a few feet from him, and
-he saw her searching, imploring look. His shoulders straightened, his
-hands dropped to his side. The finer elements of his understanding
-sensed the great need of a woman, which his brain did not actually
-register. To answer her need in action, however, was instantly more
-dominant within him than his thirst for herself.
-
-She came a step nearer. Light was filling her eyes--the shining of an
-almost incredible hope.
-
-“Oh, Dicky, you can! I believe you can!”
-
-“Yes?”
-
-She was nearer.
-
-“And I can come and rest--a little?”
-
-“Yes, Pidge----”
-
-“I want to rest so badly, you know.”
-
-She had come to him under the light.
-
-“... And, oh, since I knew you were coming, everything has been
-different. I haven’t been _me_ at all! I’ve never played--and now
-everything--all work--is silly, unimportant. Dicky, everything seems to
-be done!”
-
-“I’m on the job, Pidge; you can play----”
-
-“Until I find myself--you--you will stand for two?”
-
-“Of course, Pidge.”
-
-“All my things, your things, Dicky--so I can rush away and breathe?”
-
-“That’s what I’m here for.”
-
-“Rufe Melton and my father and the desk--all yours?”
-
-“And the baby, too, Pidge.”
-
-“Dicky--Dicky--don’t dare to look! I’m going to cry!”
-
-“... Since your telegram from San Francisco--it seemed I could hardly
-stay alive! Oh, it’s so good to rest!”
-
-“Not a hurry in the world!”
-
-“Everything seemed done--and no place for me!... Rufe and a rich girl
-uptown--oh, they’re in full blossom and he wants to be free! My father
-caught on in New York--no need now for me. _The Public Square_ on the
-high road at last; your Amritsar story capturing the whole field;
-nothing to do but to feed the presses more and more; Miss Claes gone,
-and the Legacy--oh, Dicky, I saw your hand back of that! I couldn’t
-miss it. It touched me--touched me----”
-
-“It was his idea first, Pidge. All I had to do was to help him carry it
-out.”
-
-“All happened at once--all the strains lifted--no one depending--no
-one needing me!... I’ve been dying to be a woman just once. I’ve never
-dared--never had time. It’s so terrible to feel like a woman and not be
-able----”
-
-“Why not now, Pidge?”
-
-“Don’t think, Dicky! I’m just resting a little. We must work together a
-lot. We must clear our heads with stacks of work--and then maybe we’ll
-know if we can play.... Fanny Gallup did that for me, and Rufe Melton
-is as much a baby as his infant. Other girl, or not--Rufe will always
-need--us!”
-
-“Pidge, listen! I couldn’t stand any more than that now. To have you
-say that--_us_! To have the work with you--to have earned that--to have
-your faith; that you dare come this close--to have years to make the
-big moments we have known apart, come true together--I couldn’t stand
-more, right now; that’s the fact of it--quite!”
-
-She stepped back from him looking strangely into his face again.
-
-“Dicky!”
-
-“Yes?”
-
-“The boy has come back to your face--that you lost in Africa--but the
-new and lasting Boy!”
-
-He laughed and looked around the room. It was furnished, but barely,
-the “parlor” having reverted to a sleeping room.
-
-“But how did it happen--that we should come here, Pidge?”
-
-“I couldn’t let you come to Gramercy Park. I remembered that you waited
-to see me here after Africa, not at the office. I came down this
-way--the afternoon of the Legacy and saw the sign, ‘Rooms, Permanent
-and Transient.’... I’m better now. It’s been hours, hasn’t it?”
-
-He thought of Conrad, whom he had told to wait.
-
-“... This room’s all paid for,” she whispered. “I mean we don’t have to
-stop to speak to anybody--only walk out.”
-
-Their eyes held.
-
-“Dicky!”
-
-“Yes----”
-
-“Let’s go--now.”
-
-“I’m--I’m ready.”
-
-“Dear Dicky, the years have done so much for you! The blur, the maze
-has gone out from between us. It’s so much more wonderful, isn’t it,
-than that other night here, when I almost, almost----?”
-
-He waited for her to reach the hall curtains, before he turned off the
-light. In the dimness of the hall, he heard her low, slow tone:
-
-“Fanny’s room was back--at the far end on this floor----”
-
-“... I remember once, Pidge, I went up the next flight and knocked at
-the door of your little back room----”
-
-“That’s gone now,” she answered.
-
-“Gone?”
-
-“My two books that were written there--and all the rest! I can tell you
-everything now--and of the book that is still to be written--our story,
-Dicky.”
-
-“A continued story,” he said.
-
-They went down into the street, into the car.
-
-
-THE END
-
-
-
-
-
-NOVELS OF SUPREME LITERARY ART
-
-
-=THE GLIMPSES OF THE MOON=
-
-By EDITH WHARTON
-
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-and dealing with contemporary life, to compare with it. And not only
-does Mrs. Wharton write better than anyone else, but she knows how to
-unfold a more exciting tale.”--Katherine Fullerton Gerould in the _New
-York Times_.
-
-
-=THE MIRACLE=
-
-By E. TEMPLE THURSTON
-
-A keen, human story of the west coast of Ireland, with peculiar
-fascination in the rich background of Irish folk lore.
-
-
-=THE VAN ROON=
-
-By J. C. SNAITH
-
-An unusual and totally absorbing plot, delightfully told, and a
-remarkable set of characters, unmatched since Dickens.
-
-
-=THE MOUNTAIN SCHOOL TEACHER=
-
-By MELVILLE DAVISSON POST
-
-How would Christ act if He appeared in the world today? Through Mr.
-Post’s story of the Kentucky mountains runs an impressive allegory.
-
-
-=ABBÉ PIERRE=
-
-By JAY WILLIAM HUDSON
-
-This charming novel of life in quaint Gascony has proved that a novel
-that is a work of true literary art may be a best seller of the widest
-popularity.
-
-
- D. APPLETON AND COMPANY
- New York London
-
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