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diff --git a/75451-h/75451-h.htm b/75451-h/75451-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3c724d3 --- /dev/null +++ b/75451-h/75451-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,5220 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html> +<html lang="en"> +<head> + <meta charset="UTF-8"> + <title> + The Play’s the Thing | Project Gutenberg + </title> + <link rel="icon" href="images/cover.jpg" type="image/x-cover"> + <style> + +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + + h1,h2 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +p { + margin-top: .51em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .49em; +} + +hr { + width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: 33.5%; + margin-right: 33.5%; + clear: both; +} + + +hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} +@media print { hr.chap {display: none; visibility: hidden;} } + +div.chapter {page-break-before: always;} +h2.nobreak {page-break-before: avoid;} + +table { + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; +} +table.autotable { border-collapse: collapse; } +table.autotable td { padding: 0.25em; } + +.tdl {text-align: left;} +.tdr {text-align: right;} + +.pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: small; + text-align: right; + font-style: normal; + font-weight: normal; + font-variant: normal; + text-indent: 0; +} /* page numbers */ + +.blockquot { + margin-left: 5%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + + +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + +.allsmcap {font-variant: small-caps; text-transform: lowercase;} + +/* Images */ + +img { + max-width: 100%; + height: auto; +} +img.w100 {width: 100%;} + + +.figcenter { + margin: auto; + text-align: center; + page-break-inside: avoid; + max-width: 100%; +} + + +/* Poetry */ +/* uncomment the next line for centered poetry */ +/* .poetry-container {display: flex; justify-content: center;} */ +.poetry-container {text-align: center;} +.poetry {text-align: left; margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 5%;} +.poetry .stanza {margin: 1em auto;} +.poetry .verse {text-indent: -3em; padding-left: 3em;} + +/* Poetry indents */ +.poetry .indent0 {text-indent: -3em;} +.poetry .indent2 {text-indent: -2em;} + +.x-ebookmaker body {margin: 0;} +.x-ebookmaker-drop {color: inherit;} + +.ph2, .ph3, .ph4 { text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; } +.ph2 { font-size: x-large; margin: .75em auto; } +.ph3 { font-size: large; margin: .83em auto; } +.ph4 { font-size: medium; margin: 1.12em auto; } + +p.hanging-indent1 { + padding-left: 2.25em; + text-indent: -2.25em; +} + +hr.tiny {width: 10%; margin-left: 45%; margin-right: 45%;} + +.tnote {border: dashed 1px; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; +padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em; padding-left: .5em; +padding-right: .5em;} + +.illowp100 {width: 100%;} + + + </style> +</head> +<body> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75451 ***</div> + + +<div class="chapter"> +<figure class="figcenter illowp100" id="decor_1" style="width: 12.5em;"> + <img class="w100" src="images/decor_1.jpg" alt="" data-role="presentation"> +</figure> +</div> + +<p class="ph2"> +<i>FERENC MOLNAR</i></p> + +<h1>THE PLAY’S<br> +THE THING</h1> +<br> +<figure class="figcenter illowp100" id="decor_2" style="width: 6.25em;"> + <img class="w100" src="images/decor_2.jpg" alt="" data-role="presentation"> +</figure><br> +<br> +<p class="ph4"><i>Adapted from the Hungarian</i></p> +<p class="ph3"><i>By</i> P. G. WODEHOUSE</p> +<br> +<figure class="figcenter illowp100" id="decor_3" style="width: 12.5em;"> + <img class="w100" src="images/decor_3.jpg" alt="logo"> +</figure><br> +<br> +<p class="ph2">BRENTANO’S</p> +<p class="ph3"><i>Publishers</i> <i>New York</i><br> +</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p class="ph3">COPYRIGHT, 1927, BY CHARLES FROHMAN, INC.</p> +</div> + +<p>All rights, including stage, motion picture, and +amateur production, are reserved. No performance +or public reading may be given without +the written consent of the author, or his +recognized agents. Application should be made +to the author, in care of Charles Frohman, Inc.</p> + +<p class="ph3">Manufactured in the United States of America</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><i>On Thursday, October twenty-first, 1926, at Irving +M. Lesser’s Great Neck Playhouse, Great Neck, +Long Island, the Charles Frohman Company, Gilbert +Miller, Managing Director, presented Holbrook +Blinn in THE PLAY’S THE THING by Ferenc +Molnar, for the first time on any stage in any language. +The play was presented for the first time in +New York City under the same auspices at Henry +Miller’s Theatre on Wednesday, November the +third, 1926. It was produced by Holbrook Blinn +with the following cast</i>:—</p> +</div> + + +<table class="autotable"> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">SANDOR TURAI</td> +<td></td> +<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Holbrook Blinn</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">MANSKY</td> +<td></td> +<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Hubert Druce</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">ALBERT ADAM</td> +<td></td> +<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Edward Crandall</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">ILONA SZABO</td> +<td></td> +<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Catherine Dale Owen</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">ALMADY</td> +<td></td> +<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Reginald Owen</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">JOHANN DWORNITSCHEK</td> +<td></td> +<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Ralph Nairn</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">MELL</td> +<td></td> +<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Claud Allister</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">LACKEYS</td> +<td class="tdl">{</td> +<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Stephen Kendal</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl"></td> +<td class="tdl">{</td> +<td class="tdr"><span class="smcap">John Gerard</span></td> +</tr> +</table> + + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<h2 class="nobreak" id="THE_PLAYS_THE_THING">THE PLAY’S THE THING</h2> +</div> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<h2 class="nobreak" id="THE_CHARACTERS">THE CHARACTERS</h2> +</div> + + +<p> +SANDOR TURAI, A Famous Dramatist<br> +MANSKY, His Collaborator<br> +ALBERT ADAM, A Young Composer<br> +ILONA SZABO, A Prima Donna<br> +ALMADY, A Leading Actor<br> +JOHANN DWORNITSCHEK, A Footman<br> +MELL, The Count’s Secretary<br> +TWO LACKEYS.<br> +</p> + +<p>The action takes place in a room in a castle on the Italian +Riviera, on a Saturday in summer.</p> + +<p> +<span class="smcap">Act I—2:00 a. m.</span><br> +<span class="smcap">Act II—6:00 a. m.</span><br> +<span class="smcap">Act III—7:30 p. m.</span><br> +</p> +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</span></p> + +<p class="ph2">THE PLAY’S THE THING</p> +</div> + + +<hr class="tiny"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<h2 class="nobreak" id="ACT_ONE">ACT ONE</h2> +</div> + + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p class="hanging-indent1"><i>As the curtain rises a distant orchestra is heard playing +Leoncavallo’s “Mattinata.” The stage is almost +dark. The only light comes through two large +French windows at the back. Through them we see +the moonlit Mediterranean far below, the vague +outlines of the precipitous coast, twinkling lights +along quays and esplanades, and here and there +the faint glow from some lighted window. A lighthouse +blinks intermittently in the far distance. +Within the dark room three darker shadows loom +against the moonlit windows; the lighted ends of +three cigarettes prick the blackness. There is a +long pause. It is almost embarrassingly long. Just +before one wonders if anything is ever going to +happen a man’s voice breaks the silence.</i></p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">THE MAN’S VOICE.</span> When you stop talking, Sandor, +for sixty consecutive seconds, there’s something +wrong.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>One of the shadowy forms is seen to rise and +cross to the right wall. We hear the click of an +electric switch and instantly the stage is flooded<span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</span> +with the warm glow of several electric sconces +and candelabra lamps. The light reveals a room +beautifully furnished in Italian Renaissance. At +the back one shallow step leads up to a raised +portion which runs the whole width of the room. +Behind it are the French windows, now closed, +with a balcony beyond them. To the right a +short flight of steps leads to a landing and a +door to a bedroom suite. To the left one step +leads up to a door to the hall and the remainder +of the castle. Occupying the right wall of the +lower portion of the room is a great fireplace +with a corbelled chimney. A long table stands +near it. At the left is a grand piano. Below the +piano in the left wall is a door to another bedroom. +All these doors are closed. Above the piano +toward the center is a small stand with a telephone +on it. There are comfortable chairs here +and there. The ceiling is beamed and carved. +The whole room reflects wealth and beauty.</i></p> + +<p><i>The speaker, who has just lighted the room, +is a large and portly man of middle age. His +name is</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>. <i>He is in a dinner jacket, as +are his two companions</i>, <span class="smcap">Sandor Turai</span> <i>seated +in the center, and</i> <span class="smcap">Albert Adam</span> <i>near the piano</i>. +<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>is also middle aged, but younger-looking +and less portly than</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>. <i>A glance shows +him to be a man of consequence and dynamic +personality. He is wearing a monocle.</i> <span class="smcap">Albert<span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</span> +Adam</span> <i>is a dreamy, handsome boy just over the +threshold of manhood. The distant orchestra has +stopped playing.</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>reseats himself to the +right of</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <i>and speaks again</i>.]</p> + + +<p>What’s on your mind, Sandor?</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I was just thinking how extraordinarily difficult +it is to begin a play. The eternal problem of +how to introduce your principal characters.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I suppose it must be hard.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> It is—devilish hard. Up goes the curtain, +there is a hush all over the theatre, people come +on the stage. Then what? It’s an eternity—sometimes +as much as a quarter of an hour before the +audience finds out who’s who and what they are all +up to.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I never saw such a fellow. Can’t you forget +the theatre for a single minute?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No. That’s why I’m such a great dramatist.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> You can’t be happy for half an hour unless +you’re talking shop. Life isn’t all theatre.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, it is—if you write plays. You know what +Alphonse Daudet says in his Memoirs? When he +stood by his father’s death-bed, all he could think +of was what a wonderful scene it would make for +the stage.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> It’s silly to let your job become an obsession.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, that’s the theatre. Either you master +it or it masters you. And of all the brain-racking +things in the world, beginning a play is the worst. +That’s where your technique comes in, my boy. +Take this scene here, for instance. We three—Curtain +goes up on three ordinary men in ordinary +dinner jackets. How is anybody to know even +that this room we’re sitting in is a room in a castle? +And how are they to know who we are? If this +were a play we would have to start jabbering +about a lot of thoroughly uninteresting things until +the audience gradually found out who we were.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well? Why not?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Think how much simpler it would be if we +were to cut out all that stuff and just introduce +ourselves? [<i>He rises and addresses the audience.</i>] +Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. We three +arrived to-night to spend a couple of weeks at this +castle. We’ve just left the dining-room where we +did ourselves remarkably well with some excellent +champagne. My name is Sandor Turai. I am a +playwright. I have been a playwright for thirty +years. I make a very good thing of it. I bow and +step back leaving the stage to you.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>steps back and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>steps forward +and addresses the audience</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Mansky—I, +too, am a playwright, and this gentleman’s +life-long collaborator. We are probably the best-known +firm in the business.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Come to Mansky and Turai for all comedies, +farces and operettas. Satisfaction guaranteed.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I, too, make a very good thing out of it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Which brings us—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> —to the remaining member of the trio.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>They indicate</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>who rises and addresses +the audience in similar fashion but with more +diffidence and none of their assurance</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> The last <i>and</i> least. I, ladies and gentlemen, am +Albert Adam. I am twenty-five years old and I +compose music.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Very good music, too.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I have done the score for the latest operetta +by these two kind gentlemen. My first effort. They +discovered me. They got me invited to this castle. +Regardless of expense, they bought me a complete +wardrobe. Without them I am a complete nonentity. +I have no parents, no reputation, and no +money.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> But—you’re young.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> And gifted.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> And in love with the prima donna.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t bother to tell them that. An audience +takes it for granted that the young composer is +in love with the prima donna. It’s tradition.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Thank heaven.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Again addressing the audience.</i>] Isn’t that +the simplest way to begin a play?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Very crude. If that were all there was to +it, any fool could write plays.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> A great many do. But you see how absurdly +easy it is—All you have to do is—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> All right, all right, all right. For heaven’s +sake, stop talking shop. I’ve had enough. Save it +for to-morrow.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Perhaps you’re right. Yes, it’s a treat to get +a couple of hours off for a change. Wonderful, +that trip in the car—Italy!... And here we +are, free at last from the stuffy world of behind +the scenes, out of the reach of thin-skinned actors +and thick-skinned managers. All the year I’ve +looked forward to these two weeks. A princely host +and a house full of smart people—just what men +like ourselves need to inspire us. And, mark this, +my friends, nothing to worry about—for our job +is done. [<i>He goes to the window, opens it, steps on<span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</span> +to the balcony and speaks from there.</i>] The operetta +is finished and off our minds. And, moreover, +it is summer. The weather is perfect, the night +is gorgeous, the sea—is the sea, and the dinner +was good. [<i>He comes back into the room.</i>] Yes, +we must remember it. It’s been a great day. August +the 20th.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Friday.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What of it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I wish it wasn’t.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t be such an old woman!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> No one ought to arrive anywhere on a +Friday.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Dreamily.</i>] What difference does it make—Friday, +Saturday, Sunday—Spring, Summer, +Autumn, Winter—life’s always wonderful.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Crosses to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] <i>My</i> unlucky day is Tuesday. +Among other things—[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] you +were born on a Tuesday.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well, look at it for yourself. Here’s to-day’s +little bag of bad luck. San Martino—mid-day—violent +thunderstorm followed by blow-out. Set us +back an hour. Fiero—early afternoon—ran over +dog, surrounded by angry multitude, had to scatter +money to every one in sight to keep from getting<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</span> +mobbed. More delay, and we reach here at +ten instead of eight. Friday. And when we arrive, +who is out? Our princely host. Who else? Everybody. +All gone off on a picnic. Friday. And the +beautiful, the one and only, the most vitally important +member of the whole house party—our +adorable prima donna—where is she? Also off on +a picnic. Is she expected home to-night? No. When +is she expected? No one knows. Friday.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, she’ll be back.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well, that won’t spoil Friday’s record, because +it’s Saturday now.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> And I’ve got to wait a whole night before I +see her. It’s cruel.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Just Friday.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, now listen to <i>me</i>. I’ll give you <i>my</i> +version of the day’s proceedings. Friday, San +Martino—mid-day—capital luncheon including +some really drinkable coffee. During the meal, a +few passing drops of rain. Result: perfect roads—no +dust. Fiero—early afternoon— Injured a +dog and for a while it looked as though the populace +were about to injure <i>us</i>. But our Friday good +luck held. The dog made a miraculous recovery +and when last seen was sitting up and taking +nourishment. And a few insignificant coins, judiciously<span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span> +distributed, made the populace our friends +for life. To resume. We arrived here some hours +late, but—what a bit of luck <i>that</i> was. Everybody +away, nobody in the house to expect tired men to +make conversation. Furthermore we dine on a +picturesque terrace of a wonderful old Italian +castle and are given as fine a curried chicken as I +ever tasted.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I loathe curry.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> And in conclusion, let me tell you the crowning +piece of good fortune of this magical Friday. +[<i>He indicates the door to the bedroom at left.</i>] +The next room to this is Ilona’s.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> What!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, through that door is the room of the +beautiful, the one and only. And having a pull +with the butler, I managed to get this suite for +ourselves. There’s luck for you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> For him.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> And for us. We profit indirectly. When a +composer is happy he writes song-hits. When a +prima donna is happy, she stops singing off the +key. And the librettists gather royalties from the +resulting triumph.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Sordid brute. You’ve no poetry in your soul.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> But I have a balance in my bank—much more +satisfactory. As for Ilona being away, that’s good +luck too. Think of the pleasant surprise she will +get. It is night. The little darling comes home +from her picnic. All unsuspecting, she goes to her +little room, sinks upon her little bed—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Why on earth must everything always be so +little?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Why not?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Damned sentimentalism. I know the house +well. She has a <i>huge</i> room and an <i>enormous</i> bed.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Immaterial. Quite immaterial. The point is +that she comes home, all unsuspecting. She doesn’t +know we’re here. [<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>who has been sitting dreamily +at the piano begins playing softly</i>.] She doesn’t +know we’ve brought the finished operetta with us. +She doesn’t know I’m going to sing her the waltz +song from Act Two—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> God help her!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> ... the world-famous waltz—[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> +<i>looks at him skeptically</i>] at least, it’s not world-famous +yet, but it’s bound to become so ... anyway, +the ravishing theme-waltz upon which this infant +genius has poured out all the treasure of his +love-bewitched soul....</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>stops playing</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Be quiet—never praise a composer. It unsettles +him. [<i>Rises. Looks at watch.</i>] Do you know +it’s after three—I have been thinking and I’ve got +an idea.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Beginner’s luck.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Let’s go to bed. You can do any singing +you want to-morrow. If they’re not home yet, it +means they’re staying out all night. I know the +ways of this house. We’ve been up since five and +I’m all in. Three hundred miles are chasing themselves +through my head. As for your infant genius +with the love-bewitched soul, he’s asleep already.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Who has been nodding over the piano, awakens +with a start.</i>] I’m not.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’ve no objection to postponing the surprise-party. +Suppose we <i>wake</i> her with the waltz.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> If only she doesn’t find out before.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s all right. I particularly told my friend +the butler that nobody must know of our arrival +till to-morrow morning. The butler is a very important +man. He practically runs this house.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Rising.</i>] Then I’m going to take a bath.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I don’t follow your logic. What has the importance +of the butler to do with taking baths?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I hate logic. [<i>Starts toward the door at right, +but stops to gaze out of the window.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Do you really intend to bathe at this hour?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> In the sea?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Stands by balcony door.</i>] No. In the tub. +[<i>The sound of a distant orchestra is heard playing +Toselli’s Serenade.</i>] When you’re tired and +sleepy and looking forward to something particularly +nice, it’s wonderful to lie in luke-warm water +with your eyes closed.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Hear! Hear! [<i>Sits in large armchair.</i>] +Well—Do as you please, infant. When an artist +is working he must pamper himself. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] +You have to humor these composers. Did +you ever know his grandmother?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I had not that pleasure.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>comes down the steps and sits down +again</i>.] She brought him up when his parents died. +She was about <i>so</i> high. The littlest old woman I +ever saw in my life.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Tiny, wasn’t she?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> And the very opposite of this dreamy boy.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span> +Always hustling, always on the go. It’s her fault +that our young friend here has always remained +such an unsophisticated babe. She not only mothered +him—she smothered him with her love. She +was like a little witch in a fairy-tale guarding +hidden treasure. I’ll never forget the day she +brought him to me, for the first time.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> My goodness, I was scared that day.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> So was I. This little half-portion of a woman +fixed me with blazing eyes and fairly hissed: +“This boy is a <i>genius</i>. You <i>must</i> hear his <i>work</i>.” +[<i>Pensively.</i>] His mother was a gentle, beautiful +woman.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I hardly remember her.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I can see her—very clearly—<i>still</i>.... [<i>He +rises and goes to <span class="smcap">Adam</span> whom he pats affectionately +on the shoulder</i>.] Ah, well, you’re going to escape +the struggles most young artists have before they +reach the top. No wasting of time and brain and +nerve-energy for you. You’ve got a very clever +man behind you, pushing you on.</p> + +<p>[<i>Music stops.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Significantly.</i>] <i>Two</i> clever men.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Two? [<i>Laughs.</i>] Ah, yes, of course, two. [<i>To</i> +<span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] So run away and have your bath and sleep +and dream and love and enjoy this beautiful world<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span> +and all that there is in it. Happiness will make +your music all the sweeter.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> You ought to be ashamed of yourself, encouraging +him to be a dreamer. He should be +learning by this time that life isn’t all music and +roses and happiness.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Why be in such a hurry to teach him that?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I’m not in a hurry.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then why must he be in a hurry to learn it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Who has run up the steps at right, pauses at +the door.</i>] This is my room, eh?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Whose else could it be? Have you forgotten +who is sleeping or about to be sleeping on the +other side of that wall? [<i>He indicates the left +wall.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I should say I haven’t.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> It’s rather a good situation. Lovers—and +separated by a wall. Like Pyramus and Thisbe. +What is that speech of Pyramus’s? [<i>Speaking to +the left wall.</i>]</p> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">“And thou, oh wall, oh sweet, oh lovely wall!</div> + <div class="verse indent2">Oh wicked wall, through whom I see no bliss!”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Impatiently.</i>] Shop again! Always shop!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> And what about you two?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We’re all right. Our room is on the other side +of yours.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Are you sharing a room?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We have to. Real collaborators never separate +for a moment, or the most priceless ideas might be +lost forever. Besides, I talk in my sleep. I’m told +that’s when I say some of my best things. Mansky +is a light sleeper, and he wakes up and jots them +down. [<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>rises indignantly</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I think I’m going to like this place. Well, +gentlemen, before I go, one last word. I am very +fond of both of you. I am finding life very beautiful. +And I am very happy. [<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>goes out. Once +again the distant orchestra is heard. This time +playing the Brise Argentine.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Which startling utterance seems to call for +a glass of very old brandy. [<i>He crosses to the bell +rope on left wall and pulls it.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Make it two.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> It’s nice to see the boy so happy. Now I’m +on the shady side of fifty, I find myself full of +parental affection and nobody to lavish it on. +[<i>Reflectively.</i>] Yes ... his mother was a gentle, +beautiful woman. [<i>He goes up to window, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span> +looks down the cliff.</i>] They’re still dancing down +there on the hotel terrace. With spot-lights on the +dancers. With that dark blue sky in the background +and the coloured lights on the water, that +wouldn’t make a bad setting for a first act finale. +[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>who has just taken a cigarette from +his case, snaps it shut with irritation</i>.] Yes, I’m +coming to think the boy’s right and life is beautiful.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Sandor.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I didn’t like to tell you before, though it +really belongs to Friday, too.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Tell me what?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Sits on bench with the unconscious relish +of the confirmed pessimist.</i>] Something rather unpleasant. +A little piece of news. Rather unpleasant. +[<i>The music has stopped.</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>who +has been at the window, turns toward</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You’re a queer chap. Just when a man’s feeling +happy for five minutes you have to come along +and take the joy out of life.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> It concerns you, too. It’s rather unpleasant.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Going to</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>—<i>speaks ironically</i>.]<span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span> +Well, come on, old friend. Ruin my evening. What +is it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I was looking in the visitors’ book downstairs, +and I saw a certain name. [<i>Puffs cigarette.</i>] +Yes, it’s rather unpleasant.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t sit there, making my flesh creep. What +name did you see in the visitors’ book?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Almady.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The actor?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> He’s here?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> He is.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> H’m. This <i>is</i>, as you say, rather unpleasant.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> You realize what this means?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> It means that you’re thoroughly happy.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Not at all. I may be a pessimist, but unfortunately +I’m a tender-hearted pessimist. When +I am proved right, I do not enjoy the fact. The +fact is that Mr. Almady is here.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> But how? Why? He hasn’t been invited here +for ten years. I always understood he spent his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span> +summers with his wife and children at Lake +Balaton.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I suppose he fished for an invitation. He +probably had his reasons.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Does our young friend know anything about +that business?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> He hasn’t an inkling of the part Mr. +Almady has played in his fiancée’s life.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, hang it all, it wasn’t so much of a part. +What does it amount to? When she was starting +on the stage he gave her lessons in voice production. +And then—well, it was just the usual business—the +romantic leading actor and the little +pupil. The sort of thing that lasts a couple of +months at the outside. And, besides, it was all over +and done with long ago.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Apparently it is <i>not</i> over and done with.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Rot! Because by <i>pure</i> chance he happens to +be in the same house?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> It isn’t pure chance. It’s impure intention. +Use your intelligence, man. Ilona was Almady’s +discovery—he taught her all she knows.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s a thing of the past. Ilona’s intelligent. +She’s in love and she’s engaged to be married. +And you know how whole-heartedly, how passionately,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span> +an actress can be engaged when she <i>is</i> +engaged to be married. I’m bound to say I’m not +remarkably enthusiastic about this match, but if +it makes the boy happy that’s the main thing. My +dear chap, you’re crazy. She wouldn’t be such +a fool ... with a worn-out elderly actor—a +father of a family—with four children. She’s got +too much sense.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I never said a word about that. I merely +said I had seen his name in the visitors’ book. +That means he is staying here. Is that pleasant? +No. It is unpleasant. That was all I said. I now +say something more. We <i>ought</i> to have <i>wired</i> +Ilona that we were coming to-night.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I admit it. You’re right again. So be happy. +Never surprise a woman. Always wire her in +plenty of time. On several occasions in a longish +life I have prepared a joyful surprise for a +woman, and every time I was the one surprised. +The telegraph was invented for no other purpose +than that women should not get surprises. [<i>There +is a knock at the door left.</i>] Come in. [<i>A footman +enters from the hall. He is an elderly man in +blue livery.</i>] What do you want?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">FOOTMAN.</span> What do <i>you</i> want, sir? You rang, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, yes. Cognac.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">FOOTMAN.</span> Any particular brand, sir?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] Do me a favor, old man, and +go up and keep Albert talking for a few minutes. +I want to have a few words with this fellow.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Don’t drink both the brandies. [<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> +<i>goes out through door at right</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What’s your name?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">FOOTMAN.</span> Mine, sir?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, yours.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">FOOTMAN.</span> Johann Dwornitschek, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Johann?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">FOOTMAN.</span> Dwornitschek.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Ah—Age?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Fifty-two, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Born?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I should have said, where were you born?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Podmokly. In Tcheko-Slovakia, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Nice place?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> No, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Ah—married?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir, thank you, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Wife living?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Well, in a sense.... She ran away +with a soldier two years ago, sir—thank you, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t thank me—thank the soldier. You’re +new here, I think?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> When did you come?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Last summer, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Thank you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, no. Thank <i>you</i>. You’ve answered my +questions most patiently.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Excuse me, sir, would it be taking a +liberty if I enquired why?...</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Why I have asked those questions? Not at all. +You’ll find that out later on. But don’t alarm +yourself. I’m not a detective. Now—Johann +Dwornitschek. Here are more questions. That +room next door there is Miss Ilona Szabo’s? [<i>He +indicates the door at left to bedroom.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Has she been gone long?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I have not seen her come in, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Did you see her go out?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. They left at six o’clock this +afternoon.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> They? Who?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> The entire house-party, sir, including +the master. They were going to San Pietro, +I think, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Is that far?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> The yacht would take them there in +about an hour and a half. Twenty-six persons +in all, sir. Supper served on board. A nice cold +collation, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> When do you expect them back?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Well, sir—they took a considerable +quantity of liquor with them.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The question I asked was “When do you expect +them back?”</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> That is the question I’m answering, +sir. Hardly before to-morrow morning at the earliest.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I see. Who’s in the party?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> The core or center of it, if I may +use the expression, sir....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Certainly you may use the expression. It’s a +beautiful expression.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank you, sir. The core or center +of it is an American family, distant relatives of +the master. Every time a holiday comes around, +they insist on a picnic.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What holiday is to-day?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I don’t know, sir. They have two +every week here. They always go off at night in +the big yacht. They’re quite wild about the young +lady. She sings for them on the yacht. With the +gypsy band.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, they have gypsies, too?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. Four pieces. From the Hotel. +But they’re not much good. No—A gypsy’s +not at his best, sir, on the water. Gypsies need +<i>solid</i> ground.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Solid ground—yes, of course. Well, passing +over the subject of gypsies for a moment, if you +don’t mind—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Oh, no, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, then lightly passing over the subject of +gypsies, do you know a Mr. Almady?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Oh yes, indeed, sir. I know Mr. Almady. +I know Mr. Almady very well. He has been +here three days.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Here in the castle?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. In the old wing facing the +park.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That would be on this floor?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir, on this floor.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> And—he’s one of the yachting party, you +say?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir, along with the young lady.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What do you mean, <i>along</i> with the young +lady?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Well, sir, he escorted her to the +boat. They’re—you might say—sort of partners.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> How partners?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I mean, sir—well, working together—like—like—as +it were, partners.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I see. You mean partners.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. Partners. Mr. Almady +gives recitations on the boat.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> How do you know that?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> They took me with them, sir, last +Tuesday.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Tuesday? It would be Tuesday.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir—Tuesday.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> All right—Thank you....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir. Will that be all, +sir?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, that will be all.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Excuse me, sir, but you said that I +would find out later on....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Why I began by asking you all those personal +questions.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Exactly, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Quite simple. It’s a little matter of psychology. +When you want a man to speak the truth, +begin by making him tell you all about himself. +It gives him a feeling of responsibility and +makes him afraid to lie, later on. That’s from a +detective-play by Mansky and Turai. You can +take the tip as some slight return for your +trouble.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank you very much, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t mention it.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> And which shall I bring you, sir?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Which? What which?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Which brand of cognac?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Which brands have you?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> All the best brands, sir. Hennessey, +Three Star Martel, Biscuit, Dubouche, Rivière—Gardrat.... +[<i>A door is heard to slam somewhere +at left.</i>] Excuse me, sir. I rather think ... if you +would be good enough to remain quite quiet for +just one moment ... I rather fancy that’s the +young lady coming back now. [<i>They listen. From +the adjoining room at the left a soprano voice is +heard singing casually but clearly a well-known +aria from an operetta.</i>] Yes, sir. That’s the young +lady all right.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Going up toward the door at right.</i>] It is. +It’s she. Splendid. Then never mind the cognac. +<i>Champagne</i> is clearly indicated. My favorite +brand—Mumm’s Cordon Rouge. See that it’s iced +and hurry it along. Look sharp, man!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> You wish it here—sir?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Going out at right.</i>] Of course. Of course.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Very good, sir. [<i>Exit</i> <span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span>. +<i>He goes out through the door at left to +the hall. The singing grows louder.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI’S VOICE.</span> [<i>In the room at right.</i>] Hey! Stop +that bath. You haven’t time for baths now. She’s +back! Sh! Hurry up. Quick, both of you. [<i>The +voices of</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>are also heard</i>.] I +tell you she <i>is</i>. She’s in her room. Do be quick. +I’ve ordered champagne. Here, I’ll help you dress. +[<i>The door at the right is closed from the outside. +From inside the adjoining room on the left the +singing continues until interrupted by</i> <span class="smcap">Almady’s +Voice</span> <i>raised in protest</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> What do you mean by this singing? +I believe you’re doing it just to annoy me. [<i>She +trills a few notes.</i>] You’re trying to torture me.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Well—it’s pretty cool to come walking +into my bedroom at this hour.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I came with you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Now, listen. Everything’s over and +ended. I’ve put you out of my life forever. I’m +engaged to be married and I intend to be a good +little wife. You’ve no right to behave like this.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> No right? I, who made you? I, with +whom you have lived so many hours of madness—wonderful, +unforgettable—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Not unforgettable at all. Watch how +quickly <i>I’m</i> going to forget them. Do go away, +and leave me alone. Don’t touch me. [<i>A pause.</i>]<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span> +Stop. I won’t let you kiss me. Can’t you understand +my fiancé will be arriving any day now?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I’ll kill him.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> You’ll do nothing of the kind. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> +<i>sobs loudly</i>.] Oh, stop <i>crying</i>! The idea—a +grown-up man, the father of a family, with four +children.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> But I love you so, Ilona. And you +throw me over for another man. Don’t you love +me—still—just a little?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> You’re nothing but a great big baby. +Cheer up, do. That’s better. All right, then, you +<i>may</i> kiss me. [<i>A pause while they kiss.</i>] What are +you doing? Don’t take off your coat.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I must. I want to say goodbye.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Well, you don’t need to say it in your +shirt-sleeves. [<i>Pause.</i>] <i>Now</i> run away and let me +get some sleep. I’m worn out.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I’m only waiting till you’re in bed. +Is there anything to drink here?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> You’ll find it in the ante-room. Take +the whole bottle if you want to—but <i>go</i>. [<i>Pause. +Shouting.</i>] Look on the sideboard. And stay +where you are till I’ve got my nightie on. Don’t<span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span> +come <i>in</i> and don’t <i>look</i>. [<i>There is a silence during +which the door right is opened and</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <span class="smcap">Adam</span>, +<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>tiptoe in like three mischievous boys. +They speak in whispers as they cross to the door +to</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>bedroom</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Hush! She’s gone to bed.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Do you think she’s asleep already?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I doubt it. Come on. Faces to the wall as close +as you can get. [<i>They group themselves in a row +as near the wall as the furniture will permit.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Whispers.</i>] Ready? Now ... Ilona, Ilona, +Ilona ... take the time from me. [<i>Raises his +hand like a conductor; at the same moment</i> <span class="smcap">Almady’s</span> +<i>voice is heard</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I worship you—I adore you. [<i>The +three are riveted where they stand, transfixed +with amazement.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Are you starting all over again?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> Yes, I am. All over again. I love +you as the church steeple loves the cloud that settles +above it and floats away with the first passing +breeze. I can’t go on living without you. Not a +week, not a day, not an hour. [<i>The three men turn +simultaneously.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> [<i>contemptuously.</i>] Just words.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> It’s the truth. I’m crazy about you. +And you—you’ve used me up and squeezed me +like a lemon, and now you want to throw me away.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> I don’t want to throw you away, silly. +Where’s the sense in raving like this? Oh, come +on, then. Come here and let me kiss your beautiful +classic brow.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> She said—did you hear what she said?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> That’s not a kiss—that’s a tip—Nothing +but a paltry tip.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Sinks into chair.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Don’t shout like that.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I will shout. I’m a squeezed lemon. +That’s what I am—[<i>Sobs.</i>] A lemon! The whole +world shall know that I’m a lemon.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Get off your knees. And, oh, please, +do stop crying. I can’t bear it. You know how +fond I am of you. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>clap their +hands to their heads</i>. <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>collapses on the piano +stool</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> Those nights of love—those flaming +wonderful nights! Have you forgotten them so +completely?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Looking up.</i>] That’s Almady.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> You can’t be sure.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] Don’t be an ass. Don’t +try to deceive a musician about a voice! There’s +no use talking—the thing’s a tragedy and we’ve +got to face it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Friday!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Stop! Control yourself.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> You ask me to control myself—when +I look at <i>that</i>—at that perfect shape. The +rose flush of that skin.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Hands off!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> My God! How round it is! How +smooth, how velvety—and how fragrant. [<i>A +pause.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Don’t bite!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I must—I am <i>so hungry</i>....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>and patting him on the shoulder</i>.] +I think you had better go, old man. Go and turn +in in our room.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] And I thought she was a Madonna. +Holding her in his arms—stroking—[<i>rising +in sudden fury and rushing to the door</i>.] God, +I could kill him!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Restraining him.</i>] Steady, old man, steady. +[<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>covers his ears with his hands</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> Ah, well! I see I am nothing to you +any more.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Oh, for goodness sake. I swear that +no man has ever meant so much to me as you. +From the top of your head to the soles of your feet +you are a <i>man</i>! Who should know that better +than I?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Come, come, my boy—let’s get out of this.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Goes to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Come on, old chap. +You’re going to sleep in our room. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and</i> +<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>lead him to stairway</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Sleep! [<i>He goes out at right.</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and</i> +<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>are on the landing</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Oh! Don’t look so pathetic.... +Well, come here—kiss me.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I was right— We ought to have sent a +telegram. [<i>He goes out at right.</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>comes +down to table, lights a cigarette and sits on edge +of table</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> I want you to remember that kiss +forever.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> It was your old kiss. Sweet and burning—like +hot punch. But do be a dear and go +away now. It was mad of you to come here. If my +fiancé ever hears of this I’ll kill myself. Oh, damn +my idiotic sentimentality for getting me into this +mess. You must leave here to-morrow on the first +train. He’ll be here any day now. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>shifts +uneasily</i>.] Every day I’ve been expecting a telegram. +[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>groans</i>.] Get out, I tell you, get +out!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> If you insist, dear heart, so be it! +Your word is law. I am going to bed now. Farewell, +dear heart. But grant me one last kiss.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To himself.</i>] Damn all fools who don’t know +when they’ve had enough.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Go <i>now</i>—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY’S VOICE.</span> So be it. Good-night, dear heart.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Good-night, you baby. [<i>Silence. A +door is heard closing.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To himself.</i>] <i>At last!</i> Good-night, dear +heart! [<i>After a moment he sits down in armchair. +Pause.</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>re-enters</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>With a gesture of inquiry toward</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> +<i>room</i>.] This silence—what does it mean?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> This silence is a highly moral silence. The +baritone hero has departed. And the fair heroine +has deposited herself in bed.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> After depositing <i>us</i> in the worst mess in my +whole experience. Wasn’t it awful?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Awful!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Smooth, round, fragrant! And he wanted +to bi— oh, my God! [<i>He sits.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Ten minutes ago we were three happy men. +That poor boy! How is he?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I got him to bed. Poor little Pyramus. A +jolly wall, that, isn’t it? Church Steeple! Lemon! +The damned fool.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I can’t look him in the face. That little old +grandmother of his—she’d let me have it with +her broomstick if she were here.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> It’s certainly the most appalling mess. You +got it through your pull with the butler! Marvelous +luck! Pyramus and Thisbe! “Oh sweet +wall!” Well, I hope you’re satisfied!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, go to the devil.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I don’t want to be unkind, but whichever +way you look at it you’re to blame for this catastrophe. +Why the deuce was it necessary to put the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span> +boy next door to his lady-love? Friendship <i>is</i> +friendship, but there are limits.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I was merely trying to be sympathetic and +helpful. I meant well.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Never mean “well.” It’s fatal. See what’s +happened as a result. Bride gone—love gone—waltz +gone—operetta gone. All a total loss. On +the other hand, the dog didn’t die and the coffee +<i>was good</i>. Well, Friday has certainly made a nice +clean, efficient job of it <i>this</i> time!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’m only thinking about that boy.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> And I’m also thinking about our operetta. +The lady kissed the lemon’s classic brow. After +this, can you see her playing the part?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Do stop jabbering about that side of it. I’m +only interested in the boy. Did he say anything?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Plenty. I wish I hadn’t heard it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What <i>did</i> he say?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> One of his remarks was “I’ll tear up the +score and kill Ilona.” The round and fragrant +one. And the problem that presents itself to me is +this: if he tears up his music and kills the prima +donna, what sort of a <i>first night</i> shall we have?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Thinks a moment, then with emphasis.</i>] +We’ll have a first night. I promise you that.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> What, after all this?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, after all <i>this</i>. Don’t worry, we’ll have +a first night all right.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> With that music?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> With that music and that composer and that +prima donna. And I’ll tell you some other things. +We’ll have a hit, a wedding, and a happy ending.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well, of all the optimists! It’s just a suggestion, +but wouldn’t it be a good idea if you were +to mention just what you propose to <i>do</i>. This is +where Sandor Turai, famous for his happy endings, +had better try to surpass himself. [<i>Turns +toward stairs.</i>] Get busy, my play-writing genius, +and let’s see how good you are.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> One can but do one’s best. [<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>goes out +at right. A clock in the hall is heard to strike four.</i> +<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>takes a blank sheet of music from the +piano. He paces up and down in deep thought, +occasionally glancing toward</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>room. He +jots down a few words.</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>re-enters</i>.] Well, +how is he?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. That’s +bad. He didn’t even answer my question.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What did you ask him?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I said: [<i>Plaintively.</i>] “Feeling better +now?”</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What did you expect him to answer to a damn +fool question like that?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well, have <i>you</i> solved the problem?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> If I have I’m not going to tell you. You’ve +ruined enough good ideas of mine already with +your collaboration. This time I mean to work +alone. Without a partner. [<i>Goes to table. Sits on +bench.</i>] All I ask of you is a little information. +There are a few <i>facts</i> I require.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Huffily.</i>] That’s all I’m good for, is it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s all. Where are Almady’s wife and +family now?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> At Lake Balaton, I believe.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Lake Balaton. Address?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Verona Cottage.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Putting it down.</i>] Verona Cottage. What’s +Ilona’s mother’s name?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Adele,—Alma, something.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, it begins with an A?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Yes, I know that.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Thank God! Mrs. A. Szabo. What’s her address?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> 70 Elizabeth Avenue, Fured.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Would she be there now?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Petulantly.</i>] Oh God! How should I +know? But, listen—[<i>Points to</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>room</i>.] +My own humble suggestion would be to wake her +up now and have a little chat.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What about?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Starting across.</i>] I’ll rout her out. [<i>Goes +left.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Excitedly.</i>] For heaven’s sake, no! The only +thing a woman can do is deny everything. What +could she deny? Could she unsay those words of +hers? Gloss over that mad sensual outburst? Explain +her half-hearted resistance? Of course, she +might point out that it was nice of her to forbid +the man to bite. No, I can’t quite see where denials +come in.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Women have lots of other tricks. Falling +on their knees—fainting—bursting into tears—laughing +hysterically—or just going <i>rigid</i> all +over.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That might be good enough for you or me. +When you’re a middle-aged dramatist, you welcome<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span> +a chance to do the noble, forgiving business. +It’s good theatre. But that boy in there is twenty-five +and he isn’t a dramatist. So think again.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Collapsing hopelessly in armchair.</i>] Then +there’s no solution to the problem.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> There’s a solution to everything—one has +only to find it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> By Jove! Rather a good line, that.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Not bad. Jot it down. [<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>does so, on +his cuff</i>.] And now the most important thing is—be +very tactful and understanding with the boy. +Sit by his bed till he falls asleep.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> He won’t sleep to-night.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Give him something to make him ... he +must have sleep. To-morrow’s going to be a big +day. One false move and he will be the center of +a record scandal. It would break his heart. And on +his peace of mind depends....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Our success. Capacity business. A year’s +run.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Beastly words.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> And yet only yesterday—how beautiful +they sounded!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Go away. I’ll take on this job. [<i>Rises.</i>] Leave<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span> +everything to me, and base your confidence on +past experience. Which shows the moment <i>you</i> +stop trying to help me, I can solve anything.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Bows stiffly and turns toward stairs.</i>] +Thank you, my dear fellow.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Not at all.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Good-night.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good-night. See you to-morrow. Till then, +don’t leave him for an instant. That’s official. I’ve +enjoyed our little talk so much. Good-night.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Good-night. [<i>Goes out at right.</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> +<i>goes to table, sits and jots down some more notes. +There is a knock at door left to hall.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Come in. [<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>enters with cooler +and champagne, four glasses on a tray</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> The champagne, sir. Mumm’s Cordon +Rouge—just as you ordered.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Motioning it away.</i>] ’M yes. But that was a +long time ago. A very long time ago. Since then +the world has changed quite a good deal. However, +the motto of the Turais is “Never refuse +champagne,” so put it down. [<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> +<i>places tray on the table and the cooler on the +floor</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Will four glasses be sufficient, sir?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Three more than sufficient. [<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> +<i>leaves one glass on the tray before</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <i>he +places the other three on the table. There is a +pause.</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>stares at him</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Something in the expression of your +eye, sir, tells me that you are trying to remember +my name.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Quite right. What is it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Dwornitschek, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Still Dwornitschek? Well, well! All right, +Dwornitschek, you can go to bed.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> At what hour would you desire +breakfast, sir?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What time is it now?—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Quarter past four, sir.—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then let us say at seven—or perhaps six.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Anything special that you fancy, +sir?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>In offhand way.</i>] No. Just ham, eggs, cold +chicken, smoked salmon, cold beef, bacon, butter, +milk, honey, jam, rolls and tea.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> With lemon?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Shouts with revulsion.</i>] No! [<i>Quietly.</i>] No—with +rum.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> [<i>Starts to go.</i>] Very good, sir. At +six precisely.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Tell me, Dwornitschek, when do you sleep?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> In the winter, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What are you waiting for?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I was wondering if there were any +more questions you desired to ask me, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, thank you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, no, thank <span class="allsmcap">YOU</span>.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I love being asked questions, sir. It +shows that gentlemen take an interest.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You mean in Dwornitschek, the man? As opposed +to Dwornitschek, the servant?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. You are sure you have +nothing more to ask, sir? It would be a treat for +me.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Nothing more, thanks. My stock of knowledge +for to-day is complete. I wish it weren’t.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Then I will bid you good-night, sir. +[<i>Starts to go.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good-night.... One moment! There is one +other thing. Where is the writing paper? And I’d +like some telegraph blanks too. And ink, and also +a pen.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> The writing materials are in the library, +sir, but I can bring them to you here. +[<i>Starts to go.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t bother. I’ll do my writing in the library. +It’s a good idea. No chance of being interrupted. +[<i>Rises and goes up the first step.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I’ll go and turn on the lights, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> One moment. [<i>Points to champagne.</i>] That—can +come too.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Very good, sir. [<i>Takes cooler and +one glass.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Pausing.</i>] After you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK</span>. Oh no, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> My dear Dwornitschek, I insist. You’re sure +that really <i>is</i> your name?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Oh yes, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I only wondered. Thank you.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, no. Thank <span class="allsmcap">YOU</span>. [<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>goes +out</i>. <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>puffs his cigarette, gazes for a moment +at the wall of</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>room, sighs and then goes +out at left as the curtain falls</i>.]</p> +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</span></p> + +<h2 class="nobreak" id="ACT_TWO">ACT TWO</h2> +</div> + + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p class="hanging-indent1"><i>As the curtain rises a clock in the hall is heard to +strike six. Golden sunlight pours in the windows. +The Mediterranean is as blue as tradition has +painted it.</i> <span class="smcap">Sandor Turai</span>, <i>now jauntily attired +in white flannels is seated in the armchair at the +center, with the loose leaves of a manuscript before +him. As the clock stops striking, the door at +left to the hall is opened by</i> <span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span>, <i>who +comes down to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <i>bringing a newspaper on a +salver</i>. <span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>is followed by two lackeys +in livery, each carrying an enormous silver tray +piled high with</i> <span class="smcap">Turai’s</span> <i>breakfast. During the +dialogue that follows, the lackeys place the breakfast +upon the long table at the right. This done, +one of them stands at attention while the other goes +up to the window, opens it, steps out on the balcony +and lowers an awning which shuts off some +of the now too brilliant sunlight.</i></p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Good morning, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good morning. What’s this?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Morning paper, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You’ve read it, of course?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Oh yes, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Anything about me in it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> No, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then take it away.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>gives salver with the newspaper +to one of the lackeys and motions both +off</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Let me see, sir, I <i>think</i> it was ham, +eggs, cold chicken, smoked salmon, cold beef, bacon, +butter, milk, honey, jam and rolls that you +ordered, was it not?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Quite right.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> And tea with lemon.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With revulsion.</i>] Not lemon!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> There’s rum, sir—or cognac, if you +prefer.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Pardon my emotion—I loathe lemons.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. Many people do. I had an +aunt—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Suppose we don’t talk about your aunt just +for the moment.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Very good, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Later on, perhaps.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> At any time that suits <i>you</i>, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You must make allowances for the artistic +temperament. When I have been sitting up all +night writing, I somehow don’t feel in the vein +for discussing other people’s aunts. You understand, +don’t you?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I quite understand, sir.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>has risen and crossed to the table, +upon which he has put the manuscript. He now +goes round to the right side where his place is +set, he examines the breakfast with evident satisfaction. +He lifts the covers from several silver +dishes, looks at their contents with pleasure, +and smiles at</i> <span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>with approval</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You’re really a wonderful fellow. How on +earth did you manage not to forget anything?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> It was a labour of love, sir. My +heart is in that breakfast.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Sitting down.</i>] Your heart, <i>too</i>? [<i>After he +has taken a sip of tea.</i>] Ah! that puts new life into +a man.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> You must have had very little +sleep, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Not much.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I hadn’t any.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, I remember you told me you were essentially +a hibernating animal.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Nobody else is stirring as yet. This +is the time when I sometimes manage to lie down +myself for a few moments.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then you will get some sleep, after all?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Just forty winks, sir. That’s the +advantage of being by the sea. Gentlemen stay in +bed till noon. Very different from the mountains.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Who throughout this dialogue is eating and +drinking with relish and satisfaction.</i>] They get +up early in the mountains, eh?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> At about five or four-thirty. They +like to go climbing. But there’s always a bright +side, sir; they go to bed at nine.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You know, you’re broadening my mind tremendously. +Every time I see you, I learn something +new.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> If it’s not a liberty, sir, I should +like to say something.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’ll bet it’s something good. Go on.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> You ought to take more care of +your health, sir. You don’t get enough sleep.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> <i>I</i> don’t?!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> And you smoke too much, sir. I +found at least fifty cigarette-butts in the ashtray +in the library.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Wrong. Thirty-seven.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Too many, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What’s your daily allowance?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Fifteen, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You’ll live to be a hundred.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank you—is that a medical opinion, +sir?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No—just a hope. This weary world needs +men like you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> No, no, sir. Like <i>you</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, shall we say like both of us?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Would it be a liberty, sir, if I expressed +the opinion that you have a heart of gold?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Not at all. Thank you very much.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, no. Thank <span class="allsmcap">YOU</span>.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> It’s the way you take an interest<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</span> +that touches a man, sir. I wish there was something +I could do for <i>you</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> At the moment, I think the best thing you +can do for me is to leave me alone. And if anyone +asks for me, tell them I’m sleeping and must not +be disturbed. Understand?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Oh, yes, indeed, sir.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>starts to exit</i>. <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>stops +him</i>. <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>pantomimes</i> “Wait a minute. I +must remember your name.” <i>He registers despair.</i> +<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>smiles indulgently and +whispers</i> “Dwornitschek.”]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Thank you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>He goes out at the left to hall.</i>]</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>rises, listens at staircase, then goes +to the telephone and takes up the receiver</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Hello. Will you give me Miss Ilona Szabo’s +room?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>He waits. Telephone bell rings loudly in the +room at the left. After a pause it rings again.</i>]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> [<i>Sleepily.</i>] <span class="allsmcap">YES???</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Speaks into telephone, very mildly.</i>] Hello.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> HELLO!!!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Softly.</i>] Hello.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> WHO’S THAT?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The unfeeling brute who has aroused you +from your slumber is known to the police as Sandor +Turai.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> [<i>Changing in a flash, delighted.</i>] +Sandor! Dear old Sandor!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, and how’s the prima donna?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Where are you speaking from?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Next door.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> What!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I thought you’d be surprised. I’m in the next +room.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> How on earth?...</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> My dear little Ilona, let’s postpone the explanations. +I want to see you at once—immediately.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> [<i>Anxiously.</i>] You’re frightening me. +What is it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Deliberately puts down the receiver and +speaks toward the wall.</i>] Don’t get alarmed. +[<i>Lights cigarette at piano.</i>] Come in here at once. +This minute.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> This minute?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> This very minute. [<i>Taps door at left.</i>] Open +this door. Put something on.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> What?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Anything you have.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Do what? I can’t hear. There must +be something wrong with the telephone.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Goes to the wall.</i>] Put something on and +come in here at once. Can you hear better now?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Yes, I can hear beautifully now.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> I’ll be right in. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>goes back to +the telephone and hangs up the receiver. There is +a short pause. Then the door at left to bedroom +is thrown open and</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona Szabo</span> <i>enters. She is an +extraordinarily beautiful, blonde young woman. +Having just got out of bed and slipped a flimsy +alluring negligee over her nightie, she is somewhat +dishevelled. Her golden hair is awry. Moreover +she is, at the moment, more than anxious, her +apprehension and fright are close to panic.</i>] +Sandor—what is it? I feel something terrible has +happened. What’s the matter? When did you get +here?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Calmly.</i>] Sit down, my dear. You and I have +got to do some quick talking.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> But what’s <i>happened</i>? For heaven’s sake, tell +me!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Sit down.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Why?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Because if you don’t sit down now, you’ll sit +down later on when you hear what I’ve got to say—and +you’ll sit down <i>hard</i>. Better do it gracefully +while you can.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>He pushes her gently into the armchair at +center.</i>]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I don’t understand.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You will. My dear little Ilona, in spite of the +fact that you are engaged to my young friend +Adam, you are still carrying on an affair with +Mr. Almady.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>With indignation.</i>] It’s an outrageous lie.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good! I thought you were going to say it +was none of my business.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I couldn’t say that, because you’re Albert’s +guardian, guide, philosopher and friend and God +knows what else. And you’re a friend of <i>mine</i> and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</span> +write plays for me. So I simply say that it’s a +lie.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’m glad you do, because it’s an observation +which I can answer. I’ve been in this room since +last night and the walls in this new wing are as +thin as paper.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Looks at walls. As the truth dawns upon her +she is horrified.</i>] Good God!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Lemon. [<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>hides her face</i>.] Lemon.... +Church steeple. Well, dear Ilona. Suppose we talk +this over? Something’s got to be done—and done +quickly.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> If you heard, you heard what <i>I</i> said too.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Every word.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Then you know that I told him to get out—and +he’s <i>getting</i> out to-day. At twelve o’clock. So, +if you don’t say anything—and of course you +won’t....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Not quite so fast, please. If the thing were as +simple as that, you would never have known from +me that I had overheard you. I regret to say +matters are much more unpleasant.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Sinking back in chair.</i>] My God! You don’t +mean?...</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I see you’ve guessed.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Did—did—I can’t say it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I will say it for you. Yes, the boy <i>did</i> hear it, +too.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] God!... He’s <i>here</i> +then?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> He is here.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Where?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Sh! He’s up in Mansky’s room—asleep. And +last night he was in this room—awake.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Rises, goes toward her room.</i>] I’ll take +veronal, all there is in my bottle.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s not enough.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Turns.</i>] Ten ounces.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I was not referring to the veronal. I mean +suicide is no solution.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> There isn’t any solution that I could survive. +[<i>Dramatically.</i>] There are only two things I can +possibly do—kill myself or deny the whole story.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Deny the whole story? Do you suppose if it +were just a question of telling lies, I would have +troubled you? I’d have told them myself long ago.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Then we come back to the veronal.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Exactly. We come back to the veronal—and +find it safely tucked away in its bottle.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, what <i>do</i> you suggest?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I have my plan. And all I ask of you is not +to hinder it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Almost crying.</i>] You know I worship Albert. +If anybody knows that, you do. I’ve been a different +woman since I met him. He looks on me as +a saint. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>gives her a quick ironic glance</i>.] +And he’s right. I <i>have</i> turned into a saint since I +began to love him. It was the only thing I wanted +to do in life—to keep straight for his sake. I was +so happy. [<i>She sinks into armchair crying.</i>] I love +him so.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> And yet you can’t be true to him.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Indignantly.</i>] You’ve no right to say that. +It was nothing but my damned sentimentality. +You know very well that affair with that beast +Almady didn’t last a couple of months. First he +gave me breathing lessons and taught me how to +throw my voice—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With a significant glance.</i>] Yes, he taught +you that, all right.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I’m just a victim of my kind heart. I thought +I was rid of him, but he got himself invited here.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</span> +And he’s always bursting into tears. A woman +hates to see a man cry. He stuck to me like a leech. +[<i>Rises and stalks about hysterically.</i>] But why +on earth would I want to start in with him again? +I give you my word, Sandor, that last night was +simply—like the last dying vibrations of a high +note.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You’d have done better to stop vibrating a +little earlier. Still, there it is. What we’ve got to +do now is—get you out of the mess.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Runs across to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and throws herself on +her knees, clasping him beseechingly</i>.] Sandor! +Sandor darling! Do you really think you <i>can</i>?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, I can. But don’t think I’m doing it for +your sake, my dear; not for the sake of your +beautiful eyes. You deserve to be drawn and +quartered. I’m doing it for that poor decent boy +who still retains a few ideals in this unpleasant +world. Yes, my dear Ilona, I think I must ask you +to be a little ashamed of yourself.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] Don’t worry. [<i>Rises.</i>] I am. +What can I do?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Goes to telephone.</i>] I am just going to tell +you. And you won’t enjoy it. Still, good medicine’s +rarely pleasant. [<i>Picks up receiver.</i>] Hello. [<i>To</i> +<span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.] What’s the number of Almady’s room?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Apprehensively.</i>] What do you want with +him?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] Give me Mr. Almady’s +room, please. [<i>Pause.</i>] Never mind about all that, +my good man. I don’t care what instructions he +left—call him. And go on ringing till he answers. +It’s a matter of life and death.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> What are you doing?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>In telephone.</i>] Mr. Almady? Yes, yes, I +know you gave instructions.... Will you please +be quiet for a moment?... This is Sandor Turai +speaking. Here in the new wing.... Last +night, by car.... Good morning—you were +awake already! Capital! Would you mind coming +here at once. Room number four.... Yes, I +mean <span class="allsmcap">NOW</span>, right away.... Yes, matter of life +and death was what I said, but I made a slight error. +I should have said a matter of death—Yes, +yes, this very minute—right. [<i>He hangs up the +receiver.</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>starts to go</i>.] Where are you off +to?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> If Almady is coming here?...</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You will kindly stay just where you were.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Looking toward</i> <span class="smcap">Albert’s</span> <i>bedroom at right, +crying</i>.] He looked on me as a saint. He thought<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</span> +I was everything that was fine and pure. He called +me his Madonna.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You should have thought of that a long time +ago.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Tell me—what did Albert say?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I wouldn’t ask that if I were you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> God! What was the plan you said you had?... +Can’t you speak?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Patience.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> It’s too cruel.... Just because I hate hurting +people’s feelings.... [<i>She breaks off as a +knock sounds on the door left to hall.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Come in.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span>, <i>who enters is also in a state of +nervous apprehension. He is attired in elaborate, +not to say loud, house pajamas. A tall and but +recently handsome man, now well into middle +age.</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>is first, last and always the actor. +He dramatizes every moment of his existence. +He does not walk, he struts; he does not talk, +he declaims.</i>]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Good morning. [<i>Sees</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>, <i>surprised</i>.] +Hullo. <i>You</i> here?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, she’s here.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> But what’s the matter? Has something +happened?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Oh, do sit down.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Grimly.</i>] He’ll sit down quite soon enough. +I’m not afraid of <i>his</i> not sitting down.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] You’ll forgive me if I seem +nervous....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Glass of brandy?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Thank you. [<i>Deliberately.</i>] <i>Never</i> in the +morning.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Mr. Almady, you are a married man and the +father of a family. And you are forcing your attentions +on another man’s fiancée.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Indignantly.</i>] It’s an outrageous lie.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good. I thought you were going to say it was +none of my business. You would have been quite +right. But a lie—no, I’m afraid that won’t do.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Aggressively.</i>] Mr. Turai, I would have +you know—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Shut up!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Outraged.</i>] “Shut up!”</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Significantly.</i>] Lemon! [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>sits down +abruptly</i>.] I told you he’d sit down. [<span class="smcap">Almady<span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</span></span> +<i>looks at the left wall</i>.] Yes, quite right. It’s as +thin as paper.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Rises.</i>] Now come, Mr. Turai, between +two gentlemen....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I beg your pardon?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> As one gentleman to another, I ask your +discretion....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Sit down.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Sitting down anxiously.</i>] Why? Is there +something else coming?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Crosses to right and listens at staircase.</i>] +Yes, there is something else coming. Are you +sitting down?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then listen. I wasn’t the only one who heard +everything. Her fiancé was in this room with me +at the time, and his hearing is excellent.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Strangling.</i>] Brandy!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Pouring it out.</i>] In the morning? [<i>Gives</i> +<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>the brandy</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I always take it in the morning. [<i>He gulps +it down.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, what are you going to do now, you +miserable idiot, you? You see what you’ve done.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</span> +You’ve driven me to suicide. Oh God! I shall die. +I shall die!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Rising melodramatically.</i>] I’ll die with +you!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I don’t want you! I’m going to die alone.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Pompously.</i>] I am ready to give him satisfaction.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s the last straw. [<i>As</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>starts to +speak</i>.] I’ll tell you what you are going to do. You +are going to do just as I order.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Starting up.</i>] Order?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Sit down.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>sits down</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes—order. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>—<i>rapidly</i>.] Tell us, +please. Never mind how much he rants.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Indignantly.</i>] Rants! You dare to criticise +my diction?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh! Damn your diction! Just thank your +stars that I’m going to get you out of this. A +married man! Father of a family. With four children +at home—four little lemons! [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>rises</i>.] +One word from you, and this telegram, all ready +and written, goes off to your wife.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>looks again at wall and groans</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Look at him. Don’t look at the wall. Last +night was the time to have done that.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> In that room next door—last night—something +occurred.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Ashamed.</i>] Yes, yes, <i>please</i>. We know what +occurred.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That is just what you don’t know. You are +now going to hear. What occurred was the rehearsal +of a play. Do you grasp my meaning?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> In the middle of the night?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> In the middle of the night.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> How do you mean—the rehearsal of a play?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Your very loud remarks, so loud that they +actually penetrated the wall—were dialogue from +a play. Now, do you understand?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I do. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] Don’t you—idiot? +[<i>Rises.</i>] It’s the most marvelous, wonderful idea, +you old darling....</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>She is just about to embrace</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <i>when +she stops in consternation</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What’s the matter?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> It’s no good. He’d never believe it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Why wouldn’t he believe it?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Where on earth is there a play with lines in +it like those?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Where? [<i>Picking up pile of papers from the +table.</i>] Here.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> What do you mean?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Pointing.</i>] Here you are. Here’s the play. +This is it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Who wrote it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I did. Don’t stare at me, my dear child, with +those starry eyes of blue. [<i>Sits on bench.</i>] Rather +ask when I wrote it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> When could you have written it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> This morning—between four and six. After +all, one is either a playwright or one isn’t. Half of +it I heard through the wall; the other half I wrote +to fit. In this life, everyone has to fight with his +own weapons. My weapon is the pen! And, on this +occasion I hope it will prove considerably mightier +than the sword. I am feeling this morning like an +acrobat, who for once has the chance to use his skill +to save a life. I don’t suppose any play has ever +yet been written with such purely altruistic +motives. Well, there you are. There’s the play. +Read it—learn it and play it.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>He gives her the manuscript.</i>]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> <i>Play</i> it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Naturally you must play it. How else can +you make him believe without a shadow of doubt +that what you were saying last night was just +dialogue? Off you go. Dress rehearsal early this +evening. Opening to-night.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> To-night? But where?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> At the concert, of course. After dinner in the +ballroom. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.] You’re down on the programme +already for something or other.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> A couple of songs. [<i>Contemptuously.</i>] He’s +to recite some poems.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then there’ll be a slight change in the programme. +He’ll act with you instead—a one-act +play.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Looking at script.</i>] But how on earth can +I learn all this by to-night?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>goes to window</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, really! Last night you knew it well +enough. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>sighs deeply</i>.] What’s the matter +with you?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Comes down.</i>] Mr. Turai, that was a sigh +of relief. Do you <i>know</i> my wife?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I do. Didn’t I tell you that it was a matter of +death?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> How can I ever thank you?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>He holds out his hand.</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>ignores it</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t bother to try. If you think I’m doing +this for your sake, my good man, you’re greatly +mistaken. Unfortunately, my life-saving apparatus +is so constructed that you automatically have +to be rescued, too.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Oh, but listen....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Now what is it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> What earthly reason could we have had for +rehearsing at three in the morning?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s what I ask myself, but I answer myself—quite +simple. You had to play the thing to-night. +You’d lost a lot of time on a picnic. Every +moment was precious. You were so conscientious +that when you came home you insisted on rehearsing +even though it was three o’clock in the morning.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, we’d better go and start studying at +once. I’m a very slow study.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> One minute. Don’t get excited. Who’s supposed +to be running this concert?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> The Count’s secretary, Mr. Mell.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We must notify him of this change in the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</span> +programme. [<i>Goes to telephone.</i>] Hello.... +Give me Mr. Mell’s room, please.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> But he’ll be asleep.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh no, my dear. Not after this telephone bell +has rung once or twice. [<i>He hands</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>the receiver</i>.] +There you are—ladies first.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Taking telephone.</i>] But what am I to say?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Keep calm. I’ll prompt you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Hello! Is that Mr. Mell? Yes, it is early, isn’t +it?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>She looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>for directions</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good morning.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] Good morning.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> How did you sleep?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Her hand over the receiver.</i>] I <i>can’t</i> say +that. The poor man is furious.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Shrugging.</i>] Use your own judgment, then.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone in her most seductive +manner.</i>] Dear Mr. Mell! [<i>Coos.</i>] I’m so dreadfully +sorry to wake you up at this hour, but I +wanted to tell you that there will be a little change +in the programme to-night. I’m sure the Count +will be pleased. I’m sure you will be pleased. I’m +sure the audience will be pleased.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Unanimous.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] Instead of working +alone, I’m going to appear with Mr. Almady. Yes, +Mr. Almady. In an extremely witty, charming, +brilliant little duologue. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>bows</i>. <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> +<i>listens at the telephone for a moment. Then she +turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and asks, as if she were still speaking +to</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span>.] What kind of a play is it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> French.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] French. [<i>As before.</i>] +Who wrote it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Geraldy.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Geraldy, I believe.... [<i>Pause.</i>] Oh, isn’t +that nice!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Apprehensive.</i>] What’s nice?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Hand over receiver.</i>] He says he knows +every line that Geraldy ever wrote.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then it’s by Sardou.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] No, I’m sorry. I’ve just +been looking at the script again. It’s not by +Geraldy; it’s by Sardou.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The Great Sardou.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] The Great Sardou!... +Indeed?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> How is he up on Sardou?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Covering receiver.</i>] He says the only thing +of Sardou’s he knows is Hedda Gabbler.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Delighted.</i>] That’s the man for us!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] That’s the man for us.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, no, no! That last remark was supposed to +be confidential.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Good-bye, and thank you so much, Mr. Mell. +You’ve been so sweet.... Oh, of course—as if +we’d dream of having anybody but you as a +prompter!... The title?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> A tooth for a tooth!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Into the telephone.</i>] A truth....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Tooth, tooth.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> A tooth for a tooth.... Yes, isn’t it? Quite +snappy. [<i>Coos.</i>] Good-bye. [<i>She hangs up receiver +and turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] Why a <i>French</i> piece?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Merely to ensure that nobody will know who +wrote it. That’s the beauty of French literature—there’s +such a lot of it. Besides, one has one’s conscience. +I’ve stolen so much from the French in +my time that it’s only fair I should give <i>them</i> +something for a change. And now that everything +seems to be working out all right, let me say with<span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</span> +all the emphasis at my disposal—get out. Go and +study! [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] And—so that no one will +recognize my handwriting—<i>you</i> have got to copy +out the script.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> All of it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> From beginning to end.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You think of everything.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Unlike a certain Southern fruit.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Who has been looking through the script.</i>] +Oh, but this isn’t right.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What isn’t?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> This line. You make me say “Your kiss is revolting +to me.” What I really said was....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> “That was your old kiss. Sweet and burning +like hot punch.” I know. My memory is excellent. +But fortunately we got the boy out of the room +before you got that far.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> And may I be permitted to inquire <i>why</i> my +kiss should be described as revolting?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The line occurs in the second part of the +play, where I was relying on my native inspiration.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You call my kiss revolting? I wish to know +why.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That is how I <i>see</i> it. I am the author of this +play, and that is my opinion of your kiss.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>goes up stage in a huff</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I do think you might have made some noise +to warn us. Why couldn’t you have coughed or +something?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Suppose I had, what should I have been able +to do <i>now</i>? You overlook the fact that your very +first words, my dear Ilona, left no room for misunderstanding. +If I had stopped you then nothing +could have averted the tragedy.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Coming down mollified.</i>] What a brain!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You flatter me!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> No, he doesn’t. He’s right for once. Did this +idea come to you the moment you heard us?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, I got it from you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> From us?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, stupid of me, I admit. You see, I always +assume the best of my fellowmen. And just for a +minute I did think that you really were acting. +Later on, I realized my mistake.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You thought we were acting. Why?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Because it all sounded so artificial. No ring<span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</span> +of conviction. I refer particularly to the more +erotic passages.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I don’t wonder. Considering I don’t care one +little bit for the man....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> What’s that?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You heard.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You don’t love me?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> No.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Furious.</i>] So you were lying.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Just to get rid of me?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>With loathing, vehemently.</i>] Yes. I hate the +sight of you!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] Serpent!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I’d like to murder you!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Bursts into ludicrous sobs.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> My God!—this is the limit!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> If you want to cry all over anyone, cry all +over me. I like it. It’s like a tonic to me.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> What made you realize that we were not +acting?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The disgusting, sloppy way you began carrying<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</span> +on. No author living would dare put slush like +that in the mouth of an actor who was supposed to +be making love.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Sloppy?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Beyond words.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>With indignation.</i>] Allow me to inform +you—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Shut up!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>His dignity collapsing.</i>] Oh, very well.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> My friends may be here any minute now. +Please go and study your parts. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>, <i>who +has been turning over the leaves of the script</i>.] +That’s a bit you’ll have to learn particularly well.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Which?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Pointing to manuscript.</i>] These lines here. +This loathsome series of speeches—the ones we +overheard last night. [<i>Points.</i>] From there to +there.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>looks at script</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Reads.</i>] Odd—I hardly remember—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I do. Nor is your fiancé likely to have forgotten.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Reading.</i>] “I worship you. I adore you. I +love you as the church steeple loves the cloud that<span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</span> +settles on its summit.” [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>turns away, embarrassed</i>.] +Just words!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Takes script.</i>] “You have used me up and +squeezed me like a lemon.”</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Takes script.</i>] Yes, now I remember—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> It’s all down, word for word.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>takes script</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, the passage is underlined in red ink. +Three pages—here—from page sixteen. It goes on +“Come here and let me kiss that beautiful classic +brow”—and then—this is the worst bit, here—this +mad outburst of sensuality—[<i>Reads +rapidly.</i>] “When I look at <i>that</i>—at the perfect +shape. The rose flush of that skin—Just to stroke +it!...”</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes, but I....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I know, I know. [<i>Reads.</i>] “Hands off!” you +said. But he couldn’t have obeyed you for he goes +on “My God! How round it is! How smooth! How +velvety!” And then I’m afraid he must have got +very close indeed for he adds, “And how fragrant.” +That’s right, isn’t it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Quite right. It <i>was</i> fragrant.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> But I....</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, my dear, you did <i>not</i>. There was a complete +silence until you exclaimed, “You mustn’t +bite....” [<i>Both turn away.</i>] Yes, I should think +you <i>would</i> be ashamed of yourselves. [<i>He gives</i> +<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>the script</i>.] All right, then; copy it out and +learn it. If you ever studied parts in your lives, +study these. We’ll have the dress rehearsal at +seven-thirty sharp, here in this room. I’ll give +you a run through. And after dinner, first performance. +And now—?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Out we go, eh?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You took the words out of my mouth. And +don’t forget, we’ve not seen each other for three +months.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> All right—three months.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Going out.</i>] A colossal brain!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>They bow.</i>]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I thank you.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>go into her room</i>. <span class="smcap">Turai</span> +<i>sits down and resumes his interrupted breakfast. +Throughout the following scene he goes on +eating quietly, deliberately, and with a good +appetite.</i>]</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>enters at right, also in white +flannels, but looking more doleful and dejected +than ever</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Have you been up long?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I couldn’t sleep. [<i>He goes on eating.</i>] How’s +our infant?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Woke up a moment ago. I left him dressing.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You had breakfast yet?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Not a mouthful. Couldn’t touch it. <i>You</i> +seem to have no difficulty in putting it away.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With mock sadness.</i>] One must keep up +one’s strength.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I’m amazed, and, if I may say so, a little +shocked. Sitting there gorging as if nothing had +happened. Can’t you realize we’re absolutely +ruined? I’m positively ill thinking about it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Mysteriously.</i>] Shall I let you into a secret, +Mansky?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>With excited anticipation.</i>] Yes. Tell me.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With great deliberation.</i>] I am a man who +weighs his words. I do not speak lightly. And I +say to you solemnly, my friend, [<i>dramatic +pause.</i>] that this is the best bit of ham I’ve ever +tasted.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Furious.</i>] Bah!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>Crosses left to a mirror.</i>]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Continuing as before.</i>] Juicy—nutty—positively +good. [<i>Solicitously.</i>] Did the boy sleep +at all?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> He dropped off about daylight out of sheer +exhaustion. [<i>Looks in the glass.</i>] I’m pale.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Say anything?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Not a word. Just stared at the ceiling. +You know, that’s bad.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Ceilings aren’t so bad. Walls are much worse.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> What I can’t understand is why a magnificent +place like this should have walls like tissue-paper.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Ah! These are deep waters.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Irritated.</i>] Do stop eating!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> But I haven’t finished.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Gobble—gobble—gobble! [<i>Looks in the +glass.</i>] My God! I am pale!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Suits you. Intellectual pallor.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Crosses to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] What about that solution +you were hinting at last night?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> There were several possibilities. I considered +them all thoroughly in the night watches—while +you lay snoring in your bed. Oh yes, I heard you<span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</span> +while I was changing my clothes. [<i>Points to the +table.</i>] Telegrams, letters, all ready. Finally I hit +on the best and simplest plan.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Which is?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’m going to do everything possible to make +him break with her.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> What for?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Because that’s the surest way of bringing +them together. If he casts her off forever—in two +weeks he’ll be rushing after her and falling at her +feet. The lady—after a little coaxing—will allow +herself to melt. He will coax a little more. She will +melt a little more. Finally she will melt altogether—and +the curtain will fall on the lovers’ slow embrace.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>With cumulative contempt.</i>] You thought +of that in the night, did you?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I did.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> All by yourself?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> All by myself.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well!!! I’ve noticed all this past year that +you’ve been slipping. I realise now, that you’ve +completely lost your grip. Our last show died the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</span> +death simply because you would write psychology +into it. And now you’ve become simply drivelling. +It’s a great shock to me. Do you know what’s happening? +Little by little you’re beginning to think—and +that spells ruin for both of us. Haven’t you +grasped yet what a frightful knock-down blow +last night’s affair was to that boy?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Sh! Sh! [<i>Listens, pointing to door right.</i>] +Here he is! [<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>. <i>He is also in white +flannels. Very solemn and miserable. Pause. He +passes them without a word and goes to balcony.</i>] +Hullo! Not even a good morning?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Oh, good morning.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>rises</i>; <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>looks longingly at +breakfast things</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>with his best bed-side manner</i>.] +Had breakfast?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> No.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>goes above table and sits down; +starts to eat</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Sleep?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> No.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Nor did I. [<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>looks at left wall</i>.] No. +Nothing from there. Not another sound. He left<span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</span> +and she went to sleep. <i>I</i> didn’t on your account. +[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] Hullo! Appetite picking up? +Appetite picking up?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Starting guiltily and pushing his plate +away.</i>] No. I can’t swallow. Too nervous. I’m a +wreck.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Try the ham.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Goes to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] I—my dear Uncle Sandor—I +don’t want to be a burden to you two any +longer—now that my life has been blown to bits.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Come, come, come!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I mean it. I know what I’m talking about. +There’s a great crack in my heart, and—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Come now,—be a man. We had enough of +that sort of talk last night. Tell me just what is it +you want to do?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Before anything else, I want to get away +from this place.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Quite reasonable. And then?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Then I’ll tear up the music I wrote for her—tear +it into little bits and burn it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Right. And after that?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Don’t be so casual. You know I have nobody<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</span> +in the world but you—you two. If you hadn’t been +here, I’d have ended things long ago.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>, <i>who has once more started on +the breakfast</i>.] That’s right. Peck a bit.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Jumping up.</i>] No. It’s no good. Absolutely +can’t swallow. I’m a very sick man.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> You see? I’m to blame for that.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Now listen to me, my boy. Sit down. [<span class="smcap">Adam</span> +<i>sits</i>.] What has happened, has happened. It’s +over, done with, a thing of the past. And I’m +going to say something to you now which no +young person will ever believe. You’re twenty-five +and you’re gifted. The world’s at your feet. And +that world, let me remind you, contains a great +many million women.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> What good are they to me? I only wanted this +one. [<i>Rises.</i>] Can’t we get away now—at once. I +won’t see her!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh yes, you will. No scandals, if you please. +You arrived here late at night; everybody knows +she is your fiancée, you can’t run away this morning. +Now, I’m not going to urge—in fact, I—er—positively +forbid you to become reconciled to her,—but +you must do the sensible thing. In the +course of the morning we will go to her and pay +our respects, and stay on here another day or two,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</span> +and we will not breathe a word of what happened +last night. You will behave towards her quite +nicely and naturally. I know it will hurt. It’s a bitter +pill to swallow. But to-day you are a man.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Yes. You’re right.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Up with the head and out with the chin and +damn everybody! That’s the stuff. The day after +to-morrow, when we leave, you shall write her a +letter, and let yourself go as much as you like. +And, no matter how it may hurt, you have finished +with that woman forever.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>With an effort.</i>] Very well. And if—it +should hurt <i>too</i> much, don’t be afraid that I’ll go +back to her. I’ll always have pluck enough to put +a bullet through my head.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> There! See where you have got us to with +your psychology.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] You ought to be ashamed of +yourself.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Smilingly.</i>] It’s all right. It was silly of me +to talk nonsense like that. I won’t let you down. +You shall be satisfied with me.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Good. Then you won’t—er—tear +anything up?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> No.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You’ll behave towards Ilona as if nothing +had happened?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Yes. Honour bright.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>He holds out his hand.</i>]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Rises.</i>] I am satisfied.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Sitting down to breakfast, a completely +changed man.</i>] It’s an enormous relief to me to see +you getting hold of yourself again so capitally. +[<i>Eats rapidly.</i>] Bless my soul, yes, an enormous +relief. I really feel a little better.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’m proud of you. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] Haven’t +you finished breakfast <i>yet</i>?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Delighted.</i>] I can swallow.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> So I notice.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Come and join me, my boy. +You’ll find your appetite steals back, little by +little. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <i>who is standing beside him</i>.] +He’s suffering. He can’t get over it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We must try to make him.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Come on, my boy—just a mouthful. Try +a little of this excellent ham.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I don’t want any ham.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well, a slice of chicken, then—and some +nice hot tea with a drop of brandy.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Oh, all right. [<i>Sits down.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>, <i>who is sitting deep in +thought</i>.] Well, what’s on <i>your</i> mind?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> After trying to cheer <i>me</i> up, are you going to +be depressed yourself?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Do you know what I think’s the matter +with him? He’s got another—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You win. Another problem.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Theatre?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> As always.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Oh, my God!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Last night, when we came into this room, I +was saying how hard it was to begin a play. I’m +now thinking how hard it is to end a second act.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Oh, come and end your breakfast.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, I mean it. It’s worrying me. Take this +situation of ours, for instance—just as we did +yesterday—We have had a curious experience. +We arrived perfectly happy and immediately got +a terrible shock—a ghastly disillusionment. We’ve +managed to survive it, and we’ve got ourselves in +hand again. But, suppose these things had happened +not in real life but on the stage—suppose +this were not a real room but a painted set—suppose<span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</span> +we three were characters in a play who had +just passed through the experiences we have +passed through—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, how would you end the act?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Impatiently.</i>] My dear fellow! It’s ended +already.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> In a way, yes. But don’t forget that, at the +last moment, before the curtain actually falls, you +need something more—a new note of suspense—a +punch—both, if you can manage it. In fact, +just what is implied in that word “Curtain.” Curtain—Curtain. +The act must end and yet it must +not quite end. The audience’s interest must be +snapped up—given a jolt. So, my distinguished +collaborator, how about it? You’ve often told me +how good you are—try your hand at ending the +second act of this dismal adventure of ours.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> My dear chap, simplicity itself. Come here. +Sit down. [<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>sits at table</i>.] Now then. I’m +all for the quiet curtain. One of those charming +delicate things the French do so well. <i>You</i> know—sophisticated—lightly +sentimental—the smile +behind the tear. The three friends sit down to +breakfast. Audiences always like to see actors +eating. The storm has passed. The skies are still<span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</span> +a little dark, but there is sunshine in the heart and +all that sort of thing. Let this sink in for a bit—everything +very cozy and pleasant. Business of +eating—we each have a glass of wine. [<i>They all +take up their glasses.</i>] For a moment—silence—their +thoughts are busy with what has passed. +[<i>Pause.</i>] Capital. And then—[<i>He raises his +glass.</i>]—you want a couple of smart lines, spoken +with something of a flourish. [<i>Thinks.</i>] Oh, well—[<i>Then +as if he had thought of what he wanted to +say—to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] My young friend, to-day you have +become a man—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Pointing to where he was sitting at the +time.</i>] <i>I</i> said that.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> For—always remember—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, that shows ’em it’s coming.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Not heeding him.</i>] Always remember that +in affairs of the heart it is not the first victory +that makes us men, but the first defeat. [<i>Lifts his +glass.</i>] To Woman’s Treachery, which has made +our child a man! [<i>Raises his hand toward the +curtain.</i>] Curtain. [<i>Curtain starts to come down. +They put their glasses down on the table, simultaneously, +untasted.</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>smiles complacently</i>.] +How’s that?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Rotten! [<i>Curtain slowly goes up again.</i>]<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</span> +[<i>Gets up.</i>] Tame. Feeble. Nothing in the nature +of a high spot. I’m not saying it isn’t pretty and +graceful. Charming even—but it lacks suspense. +[<i>Pause.</i>] [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] How would <i>you</i> do it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I? Feeling as I do now?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Give us your idea.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>With tremendous intensity.</i>] Very well, I’ll +give you my idea. We start from where Mansky +gave that toast.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> To Woman’s—?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Rises.</i>] Treachery. That’s it. I’d say—“No. +I won’t drink any toast.” [<i>Throws glass against +the wall smashing it to bits.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Approvingly.</i>] Effective.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Rapidly losing control of himself and becoming +hysterical.</i>] That woman was not just an +incident in my life. She was my first great passion. +I promised to act as if nothing had happened. I +meant to keep that promise. But when I remember +that I gave her my life and that she whispers +words of love to another man—and—and kisses +another man, that’s such unbearable, burning +torture, that the only right solution— [<i>Grabs +small game carving knife from table.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Leaping forward.</i>] Hey! Stop that!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Struggling with him.</i>] No! No!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Rushing forward.</i>] My God! You weren’t +really—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Struggling.</i>] Let me go. I want to die.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>has got knife away from him. He +looks at it intently.</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>stands, pale and defiant</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What the devil do you think you’re doing?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] Just—finishing the act. [<i>He sits +down.</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>follows him and sits down, too. +Smiles wanly.</i>] Curtain!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>Curtain starts to come down.</i>]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Putting the knife away.</i>] Very bad. [<i>Curtain +goes up slowly again.</i>] Quite impossible. Death’s +all right for the end of a play, but absolutely no +good for a second act. Besides, the scene was too +crude. I don’t say the gallery might not like it, +but think what the critics would say. They despise +melodrama. Suspense is what you want—suspense +and then a quick curtain.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> And now, I suppose, you could show us +how it really ought to be done?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Goes to telephone.</i>] Hello. Will you give me +Miss Ilona Szabo’s room, please.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>Bell sounds in</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>room</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Starting.</i>] What on earth—?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Hello.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Hello. Ilona?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Yes. Who is that speaking?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t you recognize my voice? This is +Sandor Turai.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Oh, how wonderful! Are you here, +then? Where are you speaking from?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes, I’m right here in the castle. Next door +to you. Number four.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> What a perfectly delightful surprise.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We came by car last night. All three of us.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> You don’t mean Albert, too?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes—and Mansky, if you think that worth +mentioning. We’re all three here in this room, and +we’ve brought you the finished script of the +operetta.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA’S VOICE.</span> Marvellous! That’s something like a +surprise.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We were hesitating about waking you so +early, but I particularly wanted to see you about<span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</span> +something. Can you come in here for a minute?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>Replaces receiver and goes to door.</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> +<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>stand where they are</i>.]</p> + +<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>with assumed joy and excitement</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, this is wonderful of you all. [<i>She kisses</i> +<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>lightly and crosses quickly to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>who +kisses her hands</i>.] What a surprise. Albert darling! +This <i>is</i> a surprise. [<i>She hangs onto</i> <span class="smcap">Adam’s</span> +<i>arm</i>.] Sandor! To think that it’s—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> —three whole months—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> —three whole months since I’ve seen you. +How brown you’re looking. And younger than +ever. Let me look at you. Wonderful! [<i>She crosses +to</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and kisses him on each cheek</i>.] And +Mansky—how are <i>you</i>, Mansky dear? I think this +is too sweet of you all. You don’t know how I’ve +been longing to see you. When did you get here? +[<i>She returns to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Very gravely.</i>] Just a minute, Ilona. [<i>He +looks through door into her room.</i>] Why, Mr. +Almady! Of all people! Won’t you come in?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Nervously.</i>] Good morning.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Fancy finding <i>you</i> here after all these years.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Pompously.</i>] Passing through. Just passing +through. I only wanted to say how-d’you-do +to the Count, but they wouldn’t let me go. The—er—the +shooting-party you know, and the concert. +They insisted on my staying.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I was <i>so</i> surprised to see him.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Pardon me for disturbing you and possibly +casting a slight gloom on what must have been a +joyful reunion, but I have something rather important +to say.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>drops</i> <span class="smcap">Adam’s</span> <i>arm</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Crosses to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] What do you mean? +Nothing—nothing unpleasant, I hope?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes—extremely unpleasant. [<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>sits +down, terrified. To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] Please. [<i>He motions +them to sit down.</i>] Well, then. We arrived +here last night— [<i>Long pause.</i>] And just now +we were sitting having breakfast—we three— +[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] Weren’t we?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Puzzled.</i>] Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Well?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Keep quite calm, please. We were sitting here, +having breakfast—all three of us. [<i>He lowers his +voice and speaks very earnestly.</i>] I must entreat<span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</span> +you all to hear what I am about to say quite +calmly— Don’t lose your heads—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> For God’s sake—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Uneasily.</i>] Well? What is it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Holds up his hand.</i>] Please! [<i>Dead silence.</i>] +What I am about to say—and I shall not detain +you long now—must almost inevitably have a +shattering effect on the lives—both the private +and the professional lives—of all us five people. +I have asked myself—is it wise to speak? And I +have answered myself—wise or not, it is unavoidable. +Ilona— [<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>rises, gasping</i>.] I have a +question to ask you— [<i>Breaks off. Dead silence. +Then very simply to</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] How’s that for +suspense?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Yes. Yes. Well? What now?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Nothing. That’s all. [<i>Smiles.</i>] Curtain! +[<i>Curtain comes down quickly and rises immediately. +He offers</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>his arm, as the rest of the +group breathe again and relax their tension</i>.] +We’ve just been having an argument about the +proper way to end a second act. [<i>Leads</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> +<i>slowly to door, left to hall, the others following</i>.] +I couldn’t resist the temptation to show these colleagues +of mine how, by the most simple methods, +you can make an act end on a note of suspense. +You see—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</span></p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>He goes out, talking, followed first by</i> +<span class="smcap">Almady</span>, <i>then by</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Going out; to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Crazy. Absolutely +crazy. Thinks of nothing in the world but the +theatre— [<i>The curtain falls again.</i>]</p> +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</span></p> + +<h2 class="nobreak" id="ACT_THREE">ACT THREE</h2> +</div> + + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p class="hanging-indent1"><i>As the curtain rises it reveals the room lighted up +by the electric sconces and candelabra. A large +and elaborately painted screen in silver and green +has been placed in front of the window. It is +painted to suggest an orchard. The screen shuts +out the view of the Mediterranean, but to the left +and right of it we glimpse the lighted esplanade, +and many more twinkling lights than in the first +act, for it is early evening. There are two garden +chairs in front of the screen in the raised portion +of the room; otherwise the scene is unchanged.</i> +<span class="smcap">Mr. Mell</span>, <i>the count’s secretary, and the master +of ceremonies, enters at left from the hall. He is +a fussy, pale young man with high pitched voice. +He wears glasses and is in evening clothes. He is +carrying a wicker table, and carrying it with difficulty +and discomfort. He places it between the +two wicker chairs in front of the screen and stands +caressing his hands where the table has cut into +them.</i></p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Calls.</i>] Dwornitschek. [<i>To himself.</i>] Where +is that man? [<i>Calls.</i>] Dwornitschek.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK’S VOICE.</span> Coming, sir, coming.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>enters from the hall, followed +by a lackey. They are both in formal, full +dress livery of white with knee breeches, and +powdered wigs.</i> <span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>carries a book, +two letters, a scarf and a woman’s hat. The +lackey carries a tall brown hunting hat, whip, +gauntlets and a large, luscious peach.</i>]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Oh, there you are at last. Why are you so +late?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> I fell downstairs, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Well, that oughtn’t to have taken you long. +[<i>He fiddles with the screen.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> You should have let <i>me</i> carry those +things, Mr. Mell.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I couldn’t wait. You are so slow.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Slow but sure, sir. [<i>He puts things +on table.</i>] When I was a lad, my mother used to +say....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I don’t want to hear about your mother.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> No, sir. Very few people do.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Have you got all the properties?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Props, sir, is the more professional +expression.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I was using the more technical term.... +Well, properties or props, have you got them?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. Book....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> ... Peach....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> ... Scarf....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> ... Whip....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> ... Two letters and a pair of +gloves.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Good. [<i>Mops his forehead.</i>] Oh dear, what a +headache I’m getting.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> What you want is an aspirin.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Have you an aspirin?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> No, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> You’re a great help.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank you, sir. If I might be allowed +to say so, you let yourself get too nervous +on these festive nights, sir. You <i>worry</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> How can I help worrying, with all the responsibility +there is on my shoulders?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> What I always say is— Never worry +too much to-day. Things may be worse to-morrow, +and then you can worry twice as hard.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> It does make me so nervous when people want +to alter the programme at the last moment. First +Miss Szabo says she’s going to sing, then she +says she’s going to act.... [<i>He breaks off as</i> +<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>enters, goes to</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] Good evening, +sir, good evening. You are first in the field.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Grouchily.</i>] Good evening. The others +will be here directly. They’re dressing.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> A wonderful shooting party to-day, sir. Capital +sport, capital. There is nothing like a good +brisk day out in the open with the guns. What a +colour it has given you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I wasn’t there.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Eh? Oh! Not there?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> No. I’ve been in my room all day, writing.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Pardon my curiosity, but may one ask what +you were writing?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> No, one may not.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> [<i>Explaining.</i>] I think the gentleman +does not wish to say what he was writing, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Oh, are you still there?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Yes, sir. Still here.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Then go away.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Very good, sir. Really I shouldn’t +worry, Mr. Mell. Look on the bright side, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> All very well for you. You have no responsibilities, +and the guests give you big tips.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> That <i>is</i> the bright side, sir. [<i>He +goes out at left to hall followed by the lackey.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> A secretary’s life is a dog’s life, Mr. Almady. +Work, work, work from morning till night, and +never a word of thanks. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>takes no notice</i>.] +You are very silent, Mr. Almady.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I sometimes find it soothing to be silent. +Try it yourself one of these days ... I take it +the concert begins directly after dinner?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Immediately following the serving of coffee.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> And when does this—this play of ours +come on?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> It is the last item on the programme. The +place of honour.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Bah! [<i>Walks away upstage.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Sir? [<i>Follows him.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Absorbed in his part which he is studying.</i>] +Nothing.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Miss Szabo tells me that no scenery is required +but two elegant chairs and one elegant table.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Is that an elegant table?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Well, really—no. But what can one expect in +a garden? Oh—if only the scene had been an interior—there’s +some perfectly lovely furniture in +the Count’s room—genuine Louis the Fifteenth. A +very elegant period, Louis the Fifteenth.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I don’t care a damn. They’re all the same +to me. Louis the Fifteenth or Louis the Fourteenth +or Louis the Seventeenth.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> But there isn’t a Louis the <i>Seventeenth</i>, and +I’ve often wondered why. Why, I’ve wondered, +should there be a Louis the <i>Sixteenth</i> and a Louis +the <i>Eighteenth</i>, but not a Louis the <i>Seventeenth</i>?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Exasperated.</i>] Oh, God. Ask a furniture +dealer.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I did. I’m <i>always</i> asking furniture dealers. +But they only know as far as Louis the <i>Sixteenth</i>. +That’s where the Louis stop for furniture dealers. +Whenever I say Louis the <i>Seventeenth</i> they say +you mean the <i>Sixteenth</i>, and I say no, I don’t +mean Louis the <i>Sixteenth</i>, I mean Louis the <i>Seventeenth</i> +and.... [<i>Breaks off and mops his +brow.</i>] I’m afraid I’m talking a great deal, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Oh, you’ve noticed that?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> The fact is, Mr. Almady, I’m all of a twitter.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> What have <i>you</i> got to be nervous about?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I’m always like this on these big nights. You +see I’m responsible for everything and its terribly +wearing on the nerves. [<i>During this long speech of</i> +<span class="smcap">Mell’s</span>, <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>becomes bored and walks away</i>, +<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>suddenly aware that he is talking to the air, +follows him</i>.] I’m stage manager, property man +and prompter. I turn the music, show the ladies to +their seats, hand bouquets onto the stage—and +I’m expected always to applaud at the right moment. +I assure you I have often gone to bed after +one of these entertainments with my hands so tender +I could scarcely hold my toothbrush. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> +<i>does not answer</i>.] You will pardon me for mentioning +it, sir, but you don’t seem quite your merry +old self to-night.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I’m as cheerful as any man would be whose +brain had been addled from studying an infernal +part all day.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> But I thought you said you had spent the day +writing?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Yes, I—I always memorize a part by writing +it out.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> What energy! What enthusiasm! Have you +a nice part?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> No. Rotten.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Dear, dear, dear! You’ll feel better when you +hear the applause. We’re great applauders here. +We don’t care <i>how</i> bad an actor is—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Offended; moves away.</i>] Thank you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Follows.</i>] I beg your pardon. I—I don’t +mean it like that. [<i>Goes to door of</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>room +and knocks</i>.] Miss Szabo, please. Miss Szabo, +please. Beginners, please.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>in evening dress</i>.]</p> + +<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>right, in dress clothes</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, we seem to be all here. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>bows</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Good evening, Miss Szabo, good evening, +good evening.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, we may as well begin.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Wouldn’t it be as well to wait for Mr. +Turai? [<i>Bitterly.</i>] Seeing that he is being so kind +as to give us his invaluable assistance.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> He’ll be here directly. Where is the prompter?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Present. Present.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Here’s the script. [<i>Hands it to him.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Goes to stage.</i>] I hope this extemporé set +meets with your approval? [<i>Pointing to screen.</i>] +A little idea quite of my own.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Charming. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>sincerely, deeply concerned</i>.] +Albert—you seem—you seem—very quiet—this +evening.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>sits</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Oh, no, not a bit. A little tired, that’s all. We +had rather a long motor drive and I didn’t get +much sleep last night— Please don’t think— [<i>Breaks +off as</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>shows signs of impatience</i>.] +I’m afraid our friend the secretary is getting restive.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> What on earth is the matter?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I’m all of a twitter.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Well, do simmer down. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>, <i>who has +sat down</i>.] Surely you’re not going to stay for +this rehearsal?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> If you don’t mind.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Oh, I don’t mind. But you’ll be thoroughly +bored. A silly little French piece. You’ll be seeing +it after dinner. I should have thought once would +have been enough.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Well, as a matter of fact, Mr. Turai asked me +to stay and help out till he came. And I promised +him I would.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Just as you please. [<i>Very nervous.</i>] Can’t we +begin? Are the props here?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Nothing is ever missing when I am the property +man. There they all are—on the table. +[<i>Points to table.</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>picks up scarf and hat and +helps</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Takes book and letter.</i>] Those are yours. +[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>pockets the peach and the remaining +letter</i>.] Now then—let’s start. The Countess—that’s +me—discovered alone. Seated in chair, +reading book. [<i>Sits down.</i>] [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] You’re +not on yet. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>stalks off to the left</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Do we go on now?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Don’t ask so many questions. Yes, go on. +[<i>She reads book.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Reading from the script.</i>] Curtain rises on +a glorious garden. Period Louis the Fifteenth.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You don’t have to read <i>that</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Doubtfully.</i>] I always <i>have</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You only have to give the actors the spoken +lines.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Now, I never knew <i>that</i> before— Now, that’s +very interesting. [<i>He looks stupidly at script.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Coming down.</i>] What on earth’s the matter +now?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I’m afraid Mr. Mell is not much of a +prompter.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Taking script from</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span>.] It’s all right—let +<i>me</i> hold the book.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> No.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Simultaneously.</i>] No, no.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You mustn’t.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> What do you mean?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I won’t have it—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Why not?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>, <i>offended, sarcastically</i>.] No doubt +Miss Szabo means that it is beneath the dignity of +such an important person. Please give <i>me</i> the +book.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Do stop fussing. Can’t you see you make them +nervous.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Make <i>them</i> nervous? What about <i>my</i> nervousness?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> I tell you <i>I’ll</i> hold the book. And you can do +it for the performance. Does <i>that</i> satisfy you?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Deeply offended.</i>] Oh, quite. Oh, perfectly—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Now you’ve hurt the poor man’s +feelings. You’ve insulted him—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Madam, I’m a secretary. I spend all my time +receiving insults.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Oh?— Well, let’s begin. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] +You’re off. [<i>Again</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>stalks to left</i>.] Countess +discovered seated in armchair, reading book. +[<i>Takes up book.</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>is wearing the brown +hat, gauntlets and carrying the riding whip</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Prompting.</i>] What a silly—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Speaking her lines.</i>] What a silly story. +[<i>Closes book.</i>] Just like all novels.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> What <i>can</i> I do—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Yawning.</i>] What <i>can</i> I do to kill the time? +The Count is always out riding. Paris seems very +far away amidst these sleepy fields of Normandy.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Hoof-beats heard off— [<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>imitates hoof-beats, +by beating his thighs with his hands</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Hark! I hear him coming— Can this be my +husband? Surely he went off on his horse to visit +our old tenant, honest Jacques Benoit.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>makes the hoof-beats louder and +louder</i>. <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>comes into the scene dramatically, +ominously, but his entrance is completely +ruined by</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>continuing the hoof-beats</i>.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</span> +<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>stamps his feet impatiently and +at last</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>stops</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> So, madame!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Why, what is the matter? Why do you frown, +my dear Count?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Why do I frown? That, madame, you will +learn—and speedily, as sure as my name is Count—Count— [<i>He can’t remember his name.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Prompting.</i>] Maurice du Veyrier—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> As sure as my name is Count Maurice du +Veyrier de la Grande Contumace Saint Emilion.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You frighten me, Maurice.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> It is your guilty conscience that frightens +you, madame.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Traitress.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>starts and looks at him nervously</i>.]</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>rises</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p>Traitress! No doubt you supposed me a credulous +imbecile whom it was simple to hoodwink—</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>, <i>both in evening +dress from the right</i>. <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>confused +by their guilt, for the moment believe +that</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>is accusing them</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Very embarrassed.</i>] No doubt—you—I—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Still prompting.</i>] You thought that any +story would do for me? You imagined that I was +fool enough to swallow anything——</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Coming down, horrified, thinking that</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> +<i>is making a scene</i>.] What!!!!!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Shhhh!— [<i>Goes on prompting.</i>] No doubt +you supposed me a credulous fool—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Relieved; he grasps the situation.</i>] O-oh! +[<i>Takes the script from him.</i>] Let <i>me</i> have that +script.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Why? [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.] Aren’t I prompting well?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> No.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Simultaneously.</i>] No.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Ruffled.</i>] Nothing like being frank.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Goes to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>and pats his shoulder</i>.] Don’t +take it to heart. Even <i>I</i> wasn’t good enough for +them.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Perhaps you’ll tell me where I went wrong?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t ask so many questions. [<i>Seats himself +in</i> <span class="smcap">Mell’s</span> <i>place</i>.] I’ll take on this job.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Everybody is so rude.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Looking at script.</i>] All right. From where +you stopped.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Glibly.</i>] Traitress, you have deceived me.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</span> +I have long had my suspicions. I have now in my +possession the proofs. No doubt you supposed me +a credulous imbecile whom it was simple to hoodwink. +You thought that any story would do for +me? You imagined that I was fool enough to +swallow anything. Let me tell you, madame, that +you are mistaken. For a long time I have suspected +that there was something behind all these rides of +yours with our neighbor the Marquis Jean François +Gilette de la Tour d’Argent. Day after day, +for hours at a time, you have made a practice of +riding with him on the road from Duvernois Sur +Saône to Saint Sulpice de la Grande Parmentière—and +slowly at that!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> It’s a lie. Who told you?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Silence, woman! The proofs are in my +pocket. Mon Dieu, is there no gratitude in this +world? When I married you, who were you? A +nobody. Your father, Brigadier-General Pierre +Jean Bourmond de la Seconde-Chaumière-Rambouillet, +fell in battle at Grande-Lagruyère Sur +Marne, and you eked out a scanty living as a +seamstress at your mother’s home in the village +of Saint Genevieve, in the Department of Seine +et Oise. So, madame! And then what happened? +<i>I</i> came. I gave you name, rank, and wealth +such as you had never dreamed of. You became +Madame La Countess du Veyrier de la Grande<span class="pagenum" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</span> +Contumace Saint Emilion. I bestowed upon you +not only my estates in Pardubien-Grand-Amanoir, +but also my two castles in Challenges-Debicourt +de la Romanée and at Rivalieux-Quandamouzières +Sur Vantera-aux Alpes Maritimes. [<i>He stops exhausted.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t stop. What’s wrong? [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>takes +off his hat and gloves, puts the whip down on the +table, and, stepping out of character comes down +to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> It’s these damned <i>French names</i>, they’re +perfectly frightful.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I don’t see what we can do about it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You surely don’t need them all?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> They’re in the script.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> But I’ll go mad trying to memorize them. +Titles with six hyphens in them and names of +places with a dozen ‘aux’ and ‘de la’s’ and ‘sur’s.’ +And, damn it, they’re all in <i>my</i> part. [<i>Choking +with fury.</i>] It’s deadly. At least, let’s leave out +that second castle.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Coldly.</i>] My dear fellow, have you no sense +of dramatic construction? If he had given her +only one castle, the audience would think her perfectly +justified in deceiving him. If he had given<span class="pagenum" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</span> +her three, they would look on him as a purse-proud +fool who didn’t deserve a faithful wife. No, +two is exactly the right number. You can’t beat +Sardou when it comes to technique. Go on please.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>goes up hopelessly and replaces his +hat and gloves and takes up the whip</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I made you a countess and a wealthy +woman. And what return do I get? You betray +me—yes, madame, betray me—with my best friend +and nearest neighbor, the Marquis Jean François +Gilette de la Tour d’Argent, lord of Perigord +des Champignons and Saint Sulpice de la Grand +Parmentière. [<i>He breaks off, and removes hat and +gloves as before.</i>] My God, it’s enough to give a +fellow apoplexy.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Surprised.</i>] I beg your pardon? That +doesn’t seem to be in the script.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Down to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>as before</i>.] I’m sorry. I +can’t help it. It’s these names.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, I’m always open to suggestions. What +would <i>you</i> like to call the gentleman?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Foche or Briand—or something short like +that.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Sarcastically.</i>] Perhaps—Vichy! Get on, +please. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>goes upstage more hopeless than +before</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Nervously.</i>] Oh, do let’s get on. Count, you +have said enough.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> So <i>he</i> seems to think.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I will not endure these shameful accusations. +You are insulting the woman who bears your +name.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Again taking off hat and gloves and puts +down the whip.</i>] It’s a damned shame.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What is?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I always have to say the whole infernal +thing from beginning to end, and she just says +“your name.”</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Coldly.</i>] We’re wasting time.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Another word, madame, and I produce the +proof.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Laughing.</i>] The proof? One is amused. One +smiles.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Takes stage and turns.</i>] A smile which I +will make to die upon your lips. Behold! The +proof! [<i>He fuddles in his coat-tail pocket from +which he belatedly takes the peach with a sinister +flourish.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>With insincere terror.</i>] Ah, gracious heaven! +The peach! [<i>Sits.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Lays peach on table.</i>] Yes, madame, the +peach. The first peach that ripened on the lovingly +cherished, early-blooming, richly bearing, +East Indian dwarf peach trees in my orchard at +Simarineux de la Pomme d’Api, making a triumphant +entry into the world days ahead of any +other peach in the whole of France. [<i>He turns and +glares at</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>resentfully</i>, <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>pays no attention</i>, +<i>so he resumes his part</i>.] You know what +a passionate fruit-grower I am. You know that I +have tended this peach from its first budding—cared +for it—watched over it—wrapped it about +with my love—kept a diary about it—and awaited +its ripening like the coming of a Messiah. And +what happens? This afternoon I go out riding. +I am proceeding at a gentle jog-trot—</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>imitates hoof-beats as before</i>. <span class="smcap">Almady</span> +<i>is incensed by his stupidity</i>. <span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>subsides +abashed, and</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>resumes</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p>I am proceeding at a gentle jog-trot from Duvernois +Sur Saône to Saint Sulpice de la Grand +Parmentière— [<i>He breaks off with an anguished +look at</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Coldly.</i>] Along the high road—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Along the high road. And whom should I +see there, tripping along, but Juliette—your +maid. I speak to her. She betrays embarrassment +at seeing me. She stammers and ties her apron-strings<span class="pagenum" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</span> +in a knot. I ask her where she is going. +Terrified, she bursts into tears and whispers, ‘My +lady sent me to the Marquis Jean François Gilette +de la Tour d’Argent’—curse him!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Right. This time that <i>was</i> in the script.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Why, I ask the girl, did your mistress send +you to the Marquis? And then suddenly, happening +to look closer, I see that she is trying desperately +to hide a little parcel from me. I take it from +her, I open it, and what do I see? [<i>Points to +peach.</i>] That peach! The King of Peaches, the +apple of my eye—my pride and joy, my firstborn, +the supreme peach from the orchards of +Simarineux de la Pomme d’Api—the last word in +stoneless fruit which I have been guarding since +birth like a baby sister— And, as if this were not +enough, wrapped round that glorious specimen of +its kind, I discover a letter. [<i>He fuddles in his +inside coat-pocket, draws out a letter, sees it is +the wrong one, replaces it hastily, and draws forth +the proper one.</i>] This letter [<i>He reads.</i>] “My beloved. +This is the first peach that has ripened in +France this year. I send it to <i>you</i>. Eat it reverently.” +[<i>He holds the letter under her nose.</i>] +There!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Are you trying to make me smell it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I am. For even if you were shameless<span class="pagenum" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</span> +enough to deny your writing you cannot deny +your perfume. Or are you proposing to deny it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> No.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Ha! Then you admit it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> <i>You</i> sent him this peach?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Again takes off his hat and gloves.</i> <i>To</i> +<span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] It’s simply rank injustice. I’ve got to +say yard-long speeches at the top of my voice, +and all her part consists of is little exclamations +like ‘oh!’ ‘no!’ and ‘yes!’</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes—I noticed that myself. These short crisp +speeches are characteristic of Sardou’s women! It +can’t be helped. Go on, please.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Goes back, puts on hat and gloves, more +miserable than ever.</i>] So! You accept from me +everything—love, name, rank, riches, estates—<i>two</i> +castles—and then you go about the place +sending my most cherished fruit to your lover!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Rises, tragically.</i>] No.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You have the effrontery to pretend that the +Marquis is <i>not</i> your lover?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You mean he is?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> No.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You mean he is <i>not</i>?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Triumphantly.</i>] Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>With a theatrical laugh.</i>] A likely story. +Madame, I am a fruit-grower, the leading amateur +horticulturist in France and President of the +Paris Peach Club. I know—I say, I <i>know</i>—that +one does not give fruit like this save where one +has first given—the heart. Madame, I despise you.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You consider conduct like mine despicable?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I do.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Good! Then I have one little question to ask +you. In the early Spring of this year there ripened +in your orchard the first crop of white-heart +cherries. To whom did you send those cherries?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Turns away embarrassed.</i>] To my mother. +The Dowager Countess du Veyrier de la Grande +Contumace Saint Emilion.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Indeed? To your mother? Then permit me +to show you something. You are not the only one +who has discovered an interesting letter. [<i>Takes +letter from table.</i>] Smell that! Do you recognize +the perfume? [<i>Holds it under his nose.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] What a <i>situation</i>! Sardou at his +best. There’s no one like him.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> The perfume is that of Mademoiselle Emilienne, +première danseuse at the Folies Bergères, +whom you honor with your friendship and protection.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> How—how did you get this?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Never mind. Always remember letters are like +sped arrows. You never can tell where they are +going to drop.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Applauds vigorously, to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] An epigram.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Read it, please.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Reading.</i>] “My dearest. This morning +that doddering old idiot of a count of mine—”</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You notice how your divinity writes of you? +Go on!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Reading.</i>] —“that doddering old idiot of +a count of mine sent me a basket of cherries. Did +I tell you he was a famous fruit grower? He says +these are the first cherries that have ripened in +France this year and he sends them to me as a +token of his love. Drop in this evening, darling, +and we’ll eat the old fool’s cherries together. Your<span class="pagenum" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</span> +loving Emilienne, P. S. Ring twice as usual!” [<i>He +sobs.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You see, what you do to me, I do to you. An +eye for an eye, a <i>tooth for a tooth</i>, a peach for a +cherry.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Brokenly.</i>] Yes. It’s true.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> And now, leave my garden. This very afternoon +I pack my boxes and go back to my mother. +And if you will question my maid you will find +that I told her to hang about till you came by—to +blush and stammer—and finally to give you the +letter <i>and</i> the peach. [<i>She breaks into stage +laughter.</i>] Ha, ha, ha! Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Well, I must face it. I’ve lost.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You’ve lost <i>me</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Kneeling.</i>] Yvonne! Don’t say that. See! +I beg your forgiveness on my knees ... overlook +this one false step.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> The idea! A count, and an <i>elderly</i> count—grovelling +like that. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>gets up and turns +away</i>.] All the same, you have touched me. So I +will forgive you. But you are not to get off without +punishment. Firstly, I forbid you to eat this +peach.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> My God! Not that!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Firmly.</i>] Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> So be it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Secondly, you will permit me to go to Paris +alone—</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Despairingly.</i>] Yvonne!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Not a word. Either you trust me or you do +not! If you <i>do</i>, I will return. If <i>not</i>, <i>not</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Oh, heavens! And how long do you expect +to stay in Paris?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> A week. [<i>Short pause.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Suddenly bursting out.</i>] No! I can’t live +without you. I worship you. I adore you. I love +you as the church steeple loves the cloud that settles +on its summit, only to be wafted away by the +first passing breeze. I can’t live without you. Not +a week, not a day. Not an hour.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Just words. [<i>At the word “church steeple”</i> +<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>have exchanged a glance of +utter astonishment</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Rises.</i>] But ... but ... but.... Just +one moment.... <i>What</i> was that you said?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I beg your pardon?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Now, listen, <i>please</i>. We can’t have these interruptions.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</span> +Don’t pull them up the moment they’ve +got nicely into the swing of it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> I can’t wait to see how it all ends. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] +Will she leave him? Or will the memory of their +past love prove too strong?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Goes to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>—<i>Aside to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] This is +devilish queer.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Quiet, quiet, please. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] All right. +Go on. Better go back to “Not a week! Not a day! +Not an hour!”</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> <i>Not a week! Not a day! Not an hour!</i></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Just words.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> It’s the truth. I’m crazy about you. And +you—you have used me up and squeezed me like +a lemon, and now you want to throw me away. +[<i>At the word “lemon”</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>again +exchange glances</i>. <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>gets up, deeply agitated</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Sandor....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What is it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] You’ll excuse +me? I have something very urgent to say to Mr. +Turai. [<i>He crosses to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and drags him over +to the corner below the fireplace</i>.] Do you hear +what they’re saying?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Feigning non-comprehension.</i>] How do you +mean, do I hear what they’re saying?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> I mean ... didn’t those last lines sound +familiar to you?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s right. Now you mention it. I did notice +something, only I thought it was my fancy.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Come here. [<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>tries to +become a part of the whispered conference, but</i> +<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>waves him away, and he withdraws upstage +disconsolate</i>.] [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] I give you my word, +Sandor—those lines were syllable for syllable the +ones we heard last night through the wall.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Looking at script.</i>] By Jove, you’re right.... +This is uncanny.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Go on with the rehearsal, or they will be +suspecting something. I want to hear some more. +[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>takes hold of</i> <span class="smcap">Adam’s</span> <i>arm</i>. <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>is very +excited. Both listen intently.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, let’s get on. “Now you want to throw me +away.”</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> I don’t want to throw you away, silly, Oh, +come on, then. Come here and let me kiss that +beautiful classic brow. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>goes to her</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Shouting out.</i>] Great Heavens!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Jumping.</i>] What’s the matter?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Whispering.</i>] Listen, you two. They’re +saying word for word what we heard them say last +night. Do you grasp now what they were doing +last night? <i>Rehearsing!</i> Simply going through +their lines.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] I must admit ... this has +come upon me as a complete surprise.... Really, +I’m quite shaken.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Imitate <i>me</i>. If I can be perfectly calm, you +can.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Pointing at</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] And he never recognized +it!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Mr. Turai! What’s going on?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Yes. What’s all the discussion about?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] Well, it’s like this. Mansky +says—and I’m bound to say I agree with him—that +for the actual performance to-night you will +have to dig up a classic brow from somewhere.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Dig up a classic brow?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> You see, it’s rather awkward. The script says +... “Kiss that beautiful classic brow.”</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Well?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, you’ll have to get one somewhere.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] You think my own would not +be convincing?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> My God, no!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> It has been so described.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> In this play, yes. But, if you’ll pardon my +saying so, you wouldn’t suggest that any woman +of taste could say such a thing in <i>real</i> life?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] Very good. No doubt the property +man will be able to supply me with a face.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Mell</span> <i>is appalled at the prospect of having +to get a “face” but he dutifully makes a notation +of it in his little book</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh—my dear fellow. [<i>All go back to places.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Impatiently.</i>] We’re wasting time. Let’s get +on.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Sh! Sh! We’ve only a few minutes more.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> No more interruptions.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Thank God!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Where were we? Oh, yes. Come here and let +me kiss that beautiful classic brow. [<i>Kisses him +on forehead.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> That’s not a kiss. That’s a tip.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Surely that line is a trifle vulgar.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> It’s vulgar because it’s spoken by a vulgar +man.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> The speaker is a count.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> But a dull-witted bounder, for all that. +He’s the sort of man who <i>would</i> say things like +that. Don’t you start trying to teach Sardou how +to write dialogue.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Furious.</i>] For God’s sake, are we going +to rehearse?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Yes—go on, please.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> That’s not a kiss. That’s a tip.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Don’t shout like that.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I will shout. I’m a squeezed lemon. That’s +what I am—a lemon. The whole world shall know +I’m a lemon. [<i>Falls sobbing at her feet.</i>]</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>whispers something to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>. +<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>smiles happily and whispers back. They +shake hands.</i>]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Please—please— What’s the matter?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Nothing. I was merely saying to Adam +that I think that word “<i>lemon</i>” is all wrong.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I think it’s excellent. Absolutely in character.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</span> +The speaker is a big lemon-and-peach man from +Saint Sulpice de la Grande Parmentière, and he +naturally goes to the orchard for his similes. Try +to realize that he’s practically an imbecile with +virtually no vocabulary.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>looks up from</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona’s</span> <i>lap and +registers indignation</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p>[<i>Prompting.</i>] ‘Please, please’— [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.] +From you, my dear. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] You’re crying. +[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>sobs</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Please, please. Don’t cry. I can’t bear it. +You know how fond I am of you. [<i>She goes to +table where peach is.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Those nights of love—those flaming, wonderful +nights! Have you forgotten them so completely? +[<i>He stands up, and starts to touch +the peach.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Stop! Control yourself.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Gazing at peach.</i>] You ask me to control +myself—when I look at <i>that</i>? At that perfect +shape. The rose flush of that skin. [<i>Starts to +touch peach.</i>] Just to stroke it....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Hands off.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Snatching up the peach, holds it in one +hand and with the other strokes it voluptuously.</i>]<span class="pagenum" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</span> +My God! How round it is! How smooth, how velvety—and +how fragrant! [<i>Raises it to his mouth.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You mustn’t bite it. [<i>She snatches his hand.</i>]</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>gives a shriek and goes into fits +of laughter</i>. <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>stretches his arms out to</i> +<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and roars</i>. <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>slaps</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>on +the back</i>, <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>laughing uninterruptedly</i>. +<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>turns away furiously</i>. <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>turns +away, ashamed</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>Putting his arm around</i> <span class="smcap">Adam’s</span> <i>shoulder</i>, +<i>still laughing</i>.] Heavens! What fools we’ve been!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Haven’t we?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Eagerly.</i>] Won’t you tell me the joke?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> You wouldn’t understand.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> What are you two so amused about?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Curtly.</i>] Come, come. We’re wasting time. +Let’s get on.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Yes, get on. I want to hear this. Round, +smooth, velvety and fragrant.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> And you mustn’t bite.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You mustn’t bite it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I must—I am so hungry.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</span></p><div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>go on laughing</i>. <span class="smcap">Mell</span> +<i>laughs too, but with a puzzled look, as much +as to say “I’m joining in, but I really don’t +understand.”</i>]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Sits.</i>] Ah well! I see I am nothing to you +any more.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Oh, for goodness sake! I swear that no man— [<i>Breaks +off, unable to go on.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Prompting.</i>] No man who has ever come +into my life ...</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> ... has meant so much to me as you. From +the top of your head to the soles of your feet you +are a <i>man</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I think we might cut that last bit.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Why?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Well, I mean to say.... A <i>little</i> too <i>explicit</i>, +don’t you think? Rather too obvious a sexual +implication. A wee bit <i>coarse</i>, perhaps, yes? +We must consider the feelings of the audience. +[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mell</span>.] Will there be any young girls there +to-night?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> Oh, yes, indeed.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Then we must cut it. They may bring their +parents. Instead suppose we say—“I love you, +even though you <i>are</i> only a poor imitation of a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</span> +man.” [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>registers rage</i>.] Go on. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.] +“My God! I suffer....”</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Bitterly.</i>] My God! I suffer like a sick +horse. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] Look here, that ought to come +out.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Why?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> How could anyone speak of himself so vulgarly?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> We went into all that just now. Just what a +cattle-raiser <i>would</i> say.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> But he’s a fruit-raiser!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Cattle, too. Cattle as a side line.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Don’t look so pathetic.... Well, come here. +Kiss me. You donkey.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Furiously to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] It’s too much.... +Horse <i>and</i> donkey.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Aside to</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span>.] This is where I went out. +How funny it seems now.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Looks at script.</i>] We’re getting near the +end now. They kiss here. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>starts to kiss</i> +<span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Pushing him away.</i>] Oh, never mind the +kiss. Kiss over.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Offended.</i>] Just as you please. I want +you to remember that kiss for ever.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Your kiss is revolting to me.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Despairingly—To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] Does that +stay in?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> My dear fellow, we can’t cut everything.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> But a line like that’s so damned personal. +The audience will loathe me.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> It beats me why on earth you ever chose a +part like this.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>looks toward</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>in mute appeal, +but</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>is adamant and metes out no +mercy</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With subtle mockery.</i>] Yes. It’s no business +of mine, but I must say I can’t understand that, +either. It doesn’t help to cut lines here and there. +It’s the whole part. The character’s a bounder and +a fool.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> The author must have loathed this fellow. +[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] You notice that, Sandor, don’t you?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Ironically.</i>] Of course, I noticed it.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Do let’s get to the end. [<i>Rises.</i>] Mademoiselle +Emilienne describes you as an old fool. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> +<i>glares</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Prompting.</i>] And so I am.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> And so I am, Yvonne. [<i>Furious.</i>] So I am.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> You certainly are.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Sincerely.</i>] It’s disgusting that a man of +your age should persecute a woman, and by playing +on her sense of gratitude seek to obtain a +love which she would never bestow as a free gift.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Crossing down to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and whispering</i>.] +Uncle Sandor—will you give me your word of +honor that Ilona shall never know how shamefully +I suspected her?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Don’t be childish.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> If ever she found out—she’d never look at me +again.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’ll never tell her.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Please don’t interrupt any more.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> [<i>Bows elaborately and says with meaning.</i>] +Forgive me. [<span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>accepts his apology with an +affectionate gesture, and when his back is turned +it is she who is mutely asking his forgiveness</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Go on!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Think of your wife. Think of your children.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Turns away.</i>] My children!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> What would your son say? Your son, a +highly respected colonel in the Dragoons.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> + +<p>[<i>This is too much. The Actor in</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>is crushed. +He comes down to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>brokenly and speaks +supplicatingly</i>.]</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Mr. Turai.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Amiably.</i>] Yes?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> It’s just a suggestion, but couldn’t we say +lieutenant there?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I’m afraid not. You see it was “general” in +the text.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Wildly.</i>] My son a general?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] How far back <i>can</i> I go?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> At the most a major.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Quickly.</i>] Very well. Your son, a highly respected +major in the Dragoons.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> You are right, Yvonne. The shock would +kill him. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>breaks off, evidently unwilling +to speak his next line. But</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>prompts +him relentlessly</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> A ridiculous old petticoat-chaser.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Speaking the lines almost sotto voce in<span class="pagenum" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</span> +a casual offhand manner.</i>] A ridiculous old petticoat-chaser, +that’s what I am. Bah!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, come, Mr. Almady. Not so tamely, please. +More <i>life</i>. Once more.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Comes down to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and says the line +with petulance and irritation</i>.] A ridiculous old +petticoat-chaser, that’s what I am. Bah!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Relentlessly.</i>] Still not quite strong enough. +More gusto. More sincerity.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Shouts the line to relieve his fury.</i>] <span class="allsmcap">A RIDICULOUS +OLD PETTICOAT-CHASER, THAT’S WHAT +I AM. BAH!</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Coldly.</i>] Once more, please.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Shouting to the full limit of his vocal +chords in wild desperation.</i>] A RIDICULOUS +OLD PETTICOAT-CHASER, THAT’S WHAT +I AM. BAH!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With approval.</i>] Fine—<i>that’s</i> it. Now read +it that way at the performance. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>returns +upstage completely crushed and beaten</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Genuinely.</i>] I promise you I shall never +again make myself obnoxious to this woman who +loves another man and is sick and tired of me. +Never, never again.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Briskly.</i>] Never again?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Briskly.</i>] Never again.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Then, Maurice, I will be generous. I will not +go to Paris, and you may eat the peach.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Hurls himself at the peach.</i>] My God! At +last! [<i>Gnaws the peach.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>Rising.</i>] Curtain.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> The end?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> The end.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> He really should have given his wife the +peach. That would have made a much prettier +finish.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, my dear fellow! Where’s your sense of +character? The man’s selfish to the core. He’d +never give his wife peaches.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> A very unsympathetic part. Still, he played +it well.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> It fitted him.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> [<i>Dancing about in anguish, pointing to</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>, +<i>incoherent with agitation</i>.] Oh! Oh!</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> What’s the matter with you?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MELL.</span> He’s eating the peach! He’s eating the peach! +I never dreamed he was going to <i>eat</i> the peach. I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</span> +shall have to dash out and get another. [<i>He +rushes off to the hall.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Takes off scarf. To</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>, <i>who stands overcome +with happiness</i>.] Well, how do you like me in +this part?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Oh, darling, you were wonderful, simply wonderful. +And, if you want to know what I think—this +little comedy is worth all Shakespeare put +together. [<i>He kisses her hands.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Oh, no, no, no. The thing dates terribly. +When did Sardou write it?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I don’t know. What period Sardou is this, +Mr. Almady?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I should imagine it was his last work.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> Then he must have been a very old man at +the time. It’s terrible. He probably wrote it just +before he died.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Or just after. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span>.] Can I have a +minute? Just a few things I’d like to tell you +about your part.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> Yes, yes, I shall be very grateful. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> +<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Go along. We shan’t be a moment. +[<i>They go up the stairs at right.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> What beats me is why an actor who has +always played heroes picked a part like that for +himself. He must be terribly fond of acting. +[<span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>go out at right</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>, <i>who is sitting dejectedly at +left</i>.] You seem upset.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Miserably.</i>] Not at all. [<i>He glares at</i> +<span class="smcap">Turai</span>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> So you’ve decided to take the midnight express +directly after the performance?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Yes.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> I think you’re wise. A good, fruity train, +highly spoken of by connoisseurs. Well, just to +show you the sort of fellows we Turais are, I’ll +let you off the major. Ilona, you can say lieutenant.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> Even lieutenant seems a little....</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Good God! We can’t make him a drummer +boy.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>Picks up part.</i>] Very well. So be it. I suppose +I ought to be thankful for small mercies. +[<i>Goes toward door to hall.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Where are you off to?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> I’m going to have another go at those infernal +French names. But in spite of everything—thank +you. [<span class="smcap">Almady</span> <i>bows and then goes out</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Going to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and embracing him</i>.] Sandor, +you’re an angel. Was it awfully difficult, +writing that play?</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Oh, no. That damned peach stumped me for +a while. Smooth, round, velvety and fragrant, and +you mustn’t bite. It wasn’t easy to get round that. +Believe me, there are very few things in this world +that are round, smooth, velvety—and respectable.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> [<i>Turns head away.</i>] Oh—he was talking +about my shoulder.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> [<i>With delicate irony and gazing at her shoulder, +then kissing it.</i>] Really? I thought it was +your forehead.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> You’re an old devil—that’s what you are.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Just what I expected. Now that it’s all over, +everybody else is a gentleman and I’m an old +devil. But somehow I don’t think I am. My little +Ilona, I have saved a young man a bad heartache. +It’s a negative kindness, but is there a positive +one that’s better? Yes, on the whole, I think +I’m fairly well satisfied with myself. And there’s<span class="pagenum" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</span> +a little old woman looking at me from somewhere—probably +from hell—and her eyes seem to be +twinkling, as if she was satisfied, too. It’s unfortunate, +that you won’t have me always on hand +to.... [<i>Re-enter</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>On the landing, to</i> <span class="smcap">Adam</span>.] Poor old Turai’s +feeling awfully sore about all this. He had +a wonderful scheme for bringing you two together, +based on what he calls psychology. And now he’s +furious because that won’t be needed. [<i>Enter</i> +<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>from hall</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">ADAM.</span> Sh! Ilona will hear you. Let’s drop the subject.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> [<i>Standing at center.</i>] Dinner is +served. [<span class="smcap">Adam</span> <i>meets</i> <span class="smcap">Ilona</span> <i>at center. They embrace +and kiss lovingly and go out to the hall arm +in arm.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">MANSKY.</span> [<i>With self-satisfaction to</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.] So, my +friend, it comes down to this. There are many +clever writers, but the most successful of them all +is still old man life himself.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> That’s because he doesn’t have to collaborate +with you. [<i>He takes</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky’s</span> <i>arm. As he passes</i> +<span class="smcap">Dwornitschek</span> <i>he stops and looks at him</i>.]</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> [<i>Smiling.</i>] Dwornitschek, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> Still Dwornitschek—Thank you.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</span></p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">DWORNITSCHEK.</span> Thank <i>you</i>, sir.</p> + +<p><span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> No, no, my dear Dwornitschek, thank YOU. +[<span class="smcap">Turai</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mansky</span> <i>go out</i>.]</p> + + +<p class="ph4">THE CURTAIN FALLS</p> + + + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<div class="tnote"> +<h2 class="nobreak" id="Transcribers_note">Transcriber’s note</h2> + + + +<p>Minor punctuation errors have been changed without notice. Inconsistencies in +hyphenation have been standardized.</p> + +<p>Other spelling has been retained as originally published except +for the changes below.</p> + +<table class="autotable"> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">Page <a href="#Page_35">35</a>: “Everyday I’ve been”</td> +<td class="tdl">“Every day I’ve been”</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">Page <a href="#Page_62">62</a>: “<span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Almady</span>.]”</td> +<td class="tdl">“<span class="allsmcap">ALMADY.</span> [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Turai</span>.]”</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">Page <a href="#Page_74">74</a>: “<span class="allsmcap">TURAI.</span> My God!”</td> +<td class="tdl">“<span class="allsmcap">ILONA.</span> My God!”</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">Page <a href="#Page_111">111</a>: “put the whip down on the”</td> +<td class="tdl">“puts the whip down on the”</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">Page <a href="#Page_115">115</a>: “peace that has ripened”</td> +<td class="tdl">“peach that has ripened”</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdl">Page <a href="#Page_132">132</a>: “This is to much.”</td> +<td class="tdl">“This is too much.”</td> +</tr> +</table> + +</div> +</div> + +<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75451 ***</div> +</body> +</html> + diff --git a/75451-h/images/cover.jpg b/75451-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..6298198 --- /dev/null +++ b/75451-h/images/cover.jpg diff --git a/75451-h/images/decor_1.jpg b/75451-h/images/decor_1.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..68eda01 --- /dev/null +++ b/75451-h/images/decor_1.jpg diff --git a/75451-h/images/decor_2.jpg b/75451-h/images/decor_2.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..539b337 --- /dev/null +++ b/75451-h/images/decor_2.jpg diff --git a/75451-h/images/decor_3.jpg b/75451-h/images/decor_3.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2d627e5 --- /dev/null +++ b/75451-h/images/decor_3.jpg |
