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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/7707.txt b/7707.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..85e0699 --- /dev/null +++ b/7707.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3781 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook My Novel, by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, Vol. 6 +#134 in our series by Edward Bulwer-Lytton + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: My Novel, Volume 6. + +Author: Edward Bulwer-Lytton + +Release Date: March 2005 [EBook #7707] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on April 29, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MY NOVEL, BY LYTTON, V6 *** + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger + + + + + +BOOK SIXTH. + + +INITIAL CHAPTER. + +WHEREIN MR. CAXTON IS PROFOUNDLY METAPHYSICAL. + +"Life," said my father, in his most dogmatical tone, "is a certain +quantity in time, which may be regarded in two ways,--First, as life +integral; Second, as life fractional. Life integral is that complete +whole expressive of a certain value, large or small, which each man +possesses in himself. Life fractional is that same whole seized upon and +invaded by other people, and subdivided amongst them. They who get a +large slice of it say, 'A very valuable life this!' Those who get but a +small handful say, 'So, so; nothing very great!' Those who get none of +it in the scramble exclaim, 'Good for nothing!'" + +"I don't understand a word you are saying," growled Captain Roland. + +My father surveyed his brother with compassion: "I will make it all +clear, even to your understanding. When I sit down by myself in my +study, having carefully locked the door on all of you, alone with my +books and thoughts, I am in full possession of my integral life. I am +/totus, teres, atque rotundus/,--a whole human being, equivalent in +value, we will say, for the sake of illustration, to a fixed round sum, +L100 for example. But when I go forth into the common apartment, each of +those to whom I am of any worth whatsoever puts his finger into the bag +that contains me, and takes out of me what he wants. Kitty requires me +to pay a bill; Pisistratus to save him the time and trouble of looking +into a score or two of books; the children to tell them stories, or play +at hide-and-seek; and so on throughout the circle to which I have +incautiously given myself up for plunder and subdivision. The L100 which +I represented in my study is now parcelled out; I am worth L40 or L50 to +Kitty, L20 to Pisistratus, and perhaps 30s. to the children. This is +life fractional. And I cease to be an integral till once more returning +to my study, and again closing the door on all existence but my own. +Meanwhile, it is perfectly clear that to those who, whether I am in the +study or whether I am in the common sitting-room, get nothing at all out +of me, I am not worth a farthing. It must be wholly indifferent to a +native of Kamschatka whether Austin Caxton be or be not razed out of the +great account-book of human beings. + +"Hence," continued my father,--"hence it follows that the more fractional +a life be--that is, the greater the number of persons among whom it can +be subdivided--why, the more there are to say, 'A very valuable life +that!' Thus the leader of a political party, a conqueror, a king, an +author, who is amusing hundreds or thousands or millions, has a greater +number of persons whom his worth interests and affects than a Saint +Simeon Stylites could have when he perched himself at the top of a +column; although, regarded each in himself, Saint Simeon, in his grand +mortification of flesh, in the idea that he thereby pleased his Divine +Benefactor, might represent a larger sum of moral value per se than +Bonaparte or Voltaire." + +PISISTRATUS.--"Perfectly clear, sir; but I don't see what it has to do +with 'My Novel.'" + +MR. CAXTON.--"Everything. Your novel, if it is to be a full and +comprehensive survey of the 'Quicquid agunt homines' (which it ought to +be, considering the length and breadth to which I foresee, from the slow +development of your story, you meditate extending and expanding it), will +embrace the two views of existence,--the integral and the fractional. You +have shown us the former in Leonard, when he is sitting in his mother's +cottage, or resting from his work by the little fount in Riccabocca's +garden. And in harmony with that view of his life, you have surrounded +him with comparative integrals, only subdivided by the tender hands of +their immediate families and neighbours,--your squires and parsons, your +Italian exile and his Jemima. With all these, life is, more or less, the +life natural, and this is always, more or less, the life integral. Then +comes the life artificial, which is always, more or less, the life +fractional. In the life natural, wherein we are swayed but by our own +native impulses and desires, subservient only to the great silent law of +Virtue (which has pervaded the universe since it swung out of chaos), a +man is of worth from what he is in himself,--Newton was as worthy before +the apple fell from the tree as when all Europe applauded the discoverer +of the Principle of Gravity. But in the life artificial we are only of +worth inasmuch as we affect others; and, relative to that life, Newton +rose in value more than a million per cent when down fell the apple from +which ultimately sprang up his discovery. In order to keep civilization +going and spread over the world the light of human intellect, we have +certain desires within us, ever swelling beyond the ease and independence +which belongs to us as integrals. Cold man as Newton might be (he once +took a lady's hand in his own, Kitty, and used her forefinger for his +tobacco-stopper,--great philosopher!), cold as he might be, he was yet +moved into giving his discoveries to the world, and that from motives +very little differing in their quality from the motives that make Dr. +Squills communicate articles to the 'Phrenological Journal' upon the +skulls of Bushmen and wombats. For it is the property of light to +travel. When a man has light in him, forth it must go. But the first +passage of genius from its integral state (in which it has been reposing +on its own wealth) into the fractional is usually through a hard and +vulgar pathway. It leaves behind it the reveries of solitude,--that +self-contemplating rest which may be called the Visionary,--and enters +suddenly into the state that may be called the Positive and Actual. +There it sees the operations of money on the outer life; sees all the +ruder and commoner springs of action; sees ambition without nobleness, +love without romance; is bustled about and ordered and trampled and +cowed,--in short, it passes an apprenticeship with some Richard Avenel, +and does not detect what good and what grandeur, what addition even to +the true poetry of the social universe, fractional existences like +Richard Avenel's bestow; for the pillars that support society are like +those of the Court of the Hebrew Tabernacle,--they are of brass, it is +true, but they are filleted with silver. From such intermediate state +Genius is expelled and driven on its way, and would have been so in this +case had Mrs. Fairfield (who is but the representative of the homely +natural affections, strongest ever in true genius,--for light is warm) +never crushed Mr. Avenel's moss rose on her sisterly bosom. Now, forth +from this passage and defile of transition into the larger world, must +Genius go on, working out its natural destiny amidst things and forms the +most artificial. Passions that move and influence the world are at work +around it. Often lost sight of itself, its very absence is a silent +contrast to the agencies present. Merged and vanished for a while amidst +the Practical World, yet we ourselves feel all the while that it is +there; is at work amidst the workings around it. This practical world +that effaces it rose out of some genius that has gone before; and so each +man of genius, though we never come across him, as his operations proceed +in places remote from our thoroughfares, is yet influencing the practical +world that ignores him, for ever and ever. That is GENIUS! We can't +describe it in books; we can only hint and suggest it by the accessories +which we artfully heap about it. The entrance of a true Probationer into +the terrible ordeal of Practical Life is like that into the miraculous +cavern, by which, legend informs us, Saint Patrick converted Ireland." + +BLANCHE.--"What is that legend? I never heard of it." + +MR. CAXTON.--"My dear, you will find it in a thin folio at the right on +entering my study, written by Thomas Messingham, and called 'Florilegium +Insulae Sanctorum,' etc. The account therein is confirmed by the +relation of an honest soldier, one Louis Ennius, who had actually entered +the cavern. In short, the truth of the legend is undeniable, unless you +mean to say, which I can't for a moment suppose, that Louis Ennius was a +liar. Thus it runs: Saint Patrick, finding that the Irish pagans were +incredulous as to his pathetic assurances of the pains and torments +destined to those who did not expiate their sins in this world, prayed +for a miracle to convince them. His prayer was heard; and a certain +cavern, so small that a man could not stand up therein at his ease, was +suddenly converted into a Purgatory, comprehending tortures sufficient to +convince the most incredulous. One unacquainted with human nature might +conjecture that few would be disposed to venture voluntarily into such a +place; on the contrary, pilgrims came in crowds. Now, all who entered +from vain curiosity or with souls unprepared perished miserably; but +those who entered with deep and earnest faith, conscious of their faults, +and if bold, yet humble, not only came out safe and sound, but purified, +as if from the waters of a second baptism. See Savage and Johnson at +night in Fleet Street,--and who shall doubt the truth of Saint Patrick's +Purgatory!" Therewith my father sighed; closed his Lucian, which had +lain open on the table, and would read none but "good books" for the +rest of the evening. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +On their escape from the prison to which Mr. Avenel had condemned them, +Leonard and his mother found their way to a small public-house that lay +at a little distance from the town, and on the outskirts of the high +road. With his arm round his mother's waist, Leonard supported her +steps, and soothed her excitement. In fact, the poor woman's nerves +were greatly shaken, and she felt an uneasy remorse at the injury her +intrusion had inflicted on the young man's worldly prospects. As the +shrewd reader has guessed already, that infamous tinker was the prime +agent of evil in this critical turn in the affairs of his quondam +customer; for, on his return to his haunts around Hazeldean and the +Casino, the tinker had hastened to apprise Mrs. Fairfield of his +interview with Leonard, and, on finding that she was not aware that the +boy was under the roof of his uncle, the pestilent vagabond (perhaps from +spite against Mr. Avenel, or perhaps from that pure love of mischief by +which metaphysical critics explain the character of Iago, and which +certainly formed a main element in the idiosyncrasy of Mr. Sprott) had so +impressed on the widow's mind the haughty demeanour of the uncle, and the +refined costume of the nephew, that Mrs. Fairfield had been seized with a +bitter and insupportable jealousy. There was an intention to rob her of +her boy!--he was to be made too fine for her. His silence was now +accounted for. This sort of jealousy, always more or less a feminine +quality, is often very strong amongst the poor; and it was the more +strong in Mrs. Fairfield, because, lone woman that she was, the boy was +all in all to her. And though she was reconciled to the loss of his +presence, nothing could reconcile her to the thought that his affections +should be weaned from her. Moreover, there were in her mind certain +impressions, of the justice of which the reader may better judge +hereafter, as to the gratitude--more than ordinarily filial--which +Leonard owed to her. In short, she did not like, as she phrased it, "to +be shaken off;" and after a sleepless night she resolved to judge for +herself, much moved thereto by the malicious suggestions to that effect +made by Mr. Sprott, who mightily enjoyed the idea of mortifying the +gentlemen by whom he had been so disrespectfully threatened with the +treadmill. The widow felt angry with Parson Dale and with the +Riccaboccas: she thought they were in the plot against her; she +communicated. therefore, her intentions to none, and off she set, +performing the journey partly on the top of the coach, partly on foot. +No wonder that she was dusty, poor woman! + +"And, oh, boy!" said she, half sobbing, "when I got through the lodge- +gates, came on the lawn, and saw all that power o' fine folk, I said to +myself, says I--for I felt fritted--I'll just have a look at him and go +back. But ah, Lenny, when I saw thee, looking so handsome, and when thee +turned and cried 'Mother,' my heart was just ready to leap out o' my +mouth, and so I could not help hugging thee, if I had died for it. And +thou wert so kind, that I forgot all Mr. Sprott had said about Dick's +pride, or thought he had just told a fib about that, as he had wanted me +to believe a fib about thee. Then Dick came up--and I had not seen him +for so many years--and we come o' the same father and mother; and so--and +so--" The widow's sobs here fairly choked her. "Ah," she said, after +giving vent to her passion, and throwing her arms round Leonard's neck, +as they sat in the little sanded parlour of the public-house,--"ah, and +I've brought thee to this. Go back; go back, boy, and never mind me." + +With some difficulty Leonard pacified poor Mrs. Fairfield, and got her to +retire to bed; for she was, indeed, thoroughly exhausted. He then +stepped forth into the road; musingly. All the stars were out; and +Youth, in its troubles, instinctively looks up to the stars. Folding his +arms, Leonard gazed on the heavens, and his lips murmured. + +From this trance, for so it might be called, he was awakened by a voice +in a decidedly London accent; and, turning hastily round, saw Mr. +Avenel's very gentlemanlike butler. + +Leonard's first idea was that his uncle had repented, and sent in search +of him. But the butler seemed as much surprised at the rencontre as +himself: that personage, indeed, the fatigues of the day being over, was +accompanying one of Mr. Gunter's waiters to the public-house (at which +the latter had secured his lodging), having discovered an old friend in +the waiter, and proposing to regale himself with a cheerful glass, and- +THAT of course--abuse of his present sitivation. + +"Mr. Fairfield!" exclaimed the butler, while the waiter walked discreetly +on. + +Leonard looked, and said nothing. The butler began to think that some +apology was due for leaving his plate and his pantry, and that he might +as well secure Leonard's propitiatory influence with his master. + +"Please, sir," said he, touching his hat, "I was just a showing Mr. Giles +the way to the Blue Bells, where he puts up for the night. I hope my +master will not be offended. If you are a going back, sir, would you +kindly mention it?" + +"I am not going back, Jarvis," answered Leonard, after a pause; "I am +leaving Mr. Avenel's house, to accompany my mother,--rather suddenly. I +should be very much obliged to you if you would bring some things of mine +to me at the Blue Bells. I will give you the list, if you will step with +me to the inn." + +Without waiting for a reply, Leonard then turned towards the inn, and +made his humble inventory: item, the clothes he had brought with him from +the Casino; item, the knapsack that had contained them; item, a few +books, ditto; item, Dr. Riccabocca's watch; item, sundry manuscripts, on +which the young student now built all his hopes of fame and fortune. +This list he put into Mr. Jarvis's hand. + +"Sir," said the butler, twirling the paper between his finger and thumb, +"you're not a going for long, I hope?" and he looked on the face of the +young man, who had always been "civil spoken to him," with as much +curiosity and as much compassion as so apathetic and princely a personage +could experience in matters affecting a family less aristocratic than he +had hitherto condescended to serve. + +"Yes," said Leonard, simply and briefly; "and your master will no doubt +excuse you for rendering me this service." Mr. Jarvis postponed for the +present his glass and chat with the waiter, and went back at once to Mr. +Avenel. That gentleman, still seated in his library, had not been aware +of the butler's absence; and when Mr. Jarvis entered and told him that he +had met Mr. Fairfield, and communicating the commission with which he was +intrusted, asked leave to execute it, Mr. Avenel felt the man's +inquisitive eye was on him, and conceived new wrath against Leonard for a +new humiliation to his pride. It was awkward to give no explanation of +his nephew's departure, still more awkward to explain. After a short +pause, Mr. Avenel said sullenly, "My nephew is going away on business for +some time,--do what he tells you;" and then turned his back, and lighted +his cigar. + +"That beast of a boy," said he, soliloquizing, "either means this as an +affront, or an overture: if an affront, he is, indeed, well got rid of; +if an overture, he will soon make a more respectful and proper one. +After all, I can't have too little of relations till I have fairly +secured Mrs. M'Catchley. An Honourable! I wonder if that makes me an +Honourable too? This cursed Debrett contains no practical information on +those points." + +The next morning the clothes and the watch with which Mr. Avenel +presented Leonard were returned, with a note meant to express gratitude, +but certainly written with very little knowledge of the world; and so +full of that somewhat over-resentful pride which had in earlier life made +Leonard fly from Hazeldean, and refuse all apology to Randal, that it is +not to be wondered at that Mr. Avenel's last remorseful feelings +evaporated in ire. "I hope he will starve!" said the uncle, +vindictively. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +"Listen to me, my dear mother," said Leonard the next morning, as, with +knapsack on his shoulder and Mrs. Fairfield on his arm, he walked along +the high road; "I do assure you from my heart that I do not regret the +loss of favours which I see plainly would have crushed out of me the very +sense of independence. But do not fear for me; I have education and +energy,--I shall do well for myself, trust me.--No, I cannot, it is true, +go back to our cottage; I cannot be a gardener again. Don't ask me,--I +should be discontented, miserable. But I will go up to London! That's +the place to make a fortune and a name: I will make both. Oh, yes, trust +me, I will. You shall soon be proud of your Leonard; and then we will +always live together,--always! Don't cry," "But what can you do in +Lunnon,--such a big place, Lenny?" + +"What! Every year does not some lad leave our village, and go and seek +his fortune, taking with him but health and strong hands? I have these, +and I have more: I have brains and thoughts and hopes, that--again I say, +No, no; never fear for me!" + +The boy threw back his head proudly; there was something sublime in his +young trust in the future. + +"Well. But you will write to Mr. Dale or to me? I will get Mr. Dale or +the good mounseer (now I know they were not agin me) to read your +letters." + +"I will, indeed!" + +"And, boy, you have nothing in your pockets. We have paid Dick; these, +at least, are my own, after paying the coach fare." And she would thrust +a sovereign and some shillings into Leonard's waistcoat pocket. + +After some resistance, he was forced to consent. + +"And there's a sixpence with a hole in it. Don't part with that, Lenny; +it will bring thee good luck." + +Thus talking, they gained the inn where the three roads met, and from +which a coach went direct to the Casino. And here, without entering the +inn, they sat on the greensward by the hedgerow, waiting the arrival of +the coach--Mrs. Fairfield was much subdued in spirits, and there was +evidently on her mind something uneasy,--some struggle with her +conscience. She not only upbraided herself for her rash visit, but she +kept talking of her dead Mark. And what would he say of her, if he could +see her in heaven? + +"It was so selfish in me, Lenny." + +"Pooh, pooh! Has not a mother a right to her child?" + +"Ay, ay, ay!" cried Mrs. Fairfield. "I do love you as a child,--my own +child. But if I was not your mother, after all, Lenny, and cost you all +this--oh, what would you say of me then?" + +"Not my own mother!" said Leonard, laughing as he kissed her. "Well, I +don't know what I should say then differently from what I say now,--that +you, who brought me up and nursed and cherished me, had a right to my +home and my heart, wherever I was." + +"Bless thee!" cried Mrs. Fairfield, as she pressed him to her heart. +"But it weighs here,--it weighs," she said, starting up. + +At that instant the coach appeared, and Leonard ran forward to inquire if +there was an outside place. Then there was a short bustle while the +horses were being changed; and Mrs. Fairfield was lifted up to the roof +of the vehicle, so all further private conversation between her and +Leonard ceased. But as the coach whirled away, and she waved her hand to +the boy, who stood on the road-side gazing after her, she still murmured, +"It weighs here,--it weighs!" + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +Leonard walked sturdily on in the high road to the Great City. The day +was calm and sunlit, but with a gentle breeze from gray hills at the +distance; and with each mile that he passed, his step seemed to grow more +firm, and his front more elate. Oh, it is such joy in youth to be alone +with one's daydreams! And youth feels so glorious a vigour in the sense +of its own strength, though the world be before and--against it! Removed +from that chilling counting-house, from the imperious will of a patron +and master, all friendless, but all independent, the young adventurer +felt a new being, felt his grand nature as Man. And on the Man rushed +the genius long interdicted and thrust aside,--rushing back, with the +first breath of adversity, to console--no! the Man needed not +consolation,--to kindle, to animate, to rejoice! If there is a being in +the world worthy of our envy, after we have grown wise philosophers of +the fireside, it is not the palled voluptuary, nor the careworn +statesman, nor even the great prince of arts and letters, already crowned +with the laurel, whose leaves are as fit for poison as for garlands; it +is the young child of adventure and hope. Ay, and the emptier his purse, +ten to one but the richer his heart, and the wider the domains which his +fancy enjoys as he goes on with kingly step to the Future. + +Not till towards the evening did our adventurer slacken his pace and +think of rest and refreshment. There, then, lay before him on either +side the road those wide patches of uninclosed land which in England +often denote the entrance to a village. Presently one or two neat +cottages came in sight; then a small farmhouse, with its yard and barns. +And some way farther yet, he saw the sign swinging before an inn of some +pretensions,--the sort of inn often found on a long stage between two +great towns commonly called "The Halfway House." But the inn stood back +from the road, having its own separate sward in front, whereon was a +great beech-tree (from which the sign extended) and a rustic arbour; so +that to gain the inn, the coaches that stopped there took a sweep from +the main thoroughfare. Between our pedestrian and the inn there stood, +naked and alone, on the common land, a church; our ancestors never would +have chosen that site for it; therefore it was a modern church,--modern +Gothic; handsome to an eye not versed in the attributes of ecclesiastical +architecture, very barbarous to an eye that was. Somehow or other the +church looked cold and raw and uninviting. It looked a church for show, +--much too big for the scattered hamlet, and void of all the venerable +associations which give their peculiar and unspeakable atmosphere of +piety to the churches in which succeeding generations have knelt and +worshipped. Leonard paused and surveyed the edifice with an unlearned +but poetical gaze; it dissatisfied him. And he was yet pondering why, +when a young girl passed slowly before him, her eyes fixed on the ground, +opened the little gate that led into the churchyard, and vanished. He +did not see the child's face; but there was something in her movements so +utterly listless, forlorn, and sad that his heart was touched. What did +she there? He approached the low wall with a noiseless step, and looked +over it wistfully. + +There by a grave, evidently quite recent, with no wooden tomb nor +tombstone like the rest, the little girl had thrown herself, and she was +sobbing loud and passionately. Leonard opened the gate, and approached +her with a soft step. Mingled with her sobs, he heard broken sentences, +wild and vain, as all human sorrowings over graves must be. + +"Father! oh, Father, do you not really hear me? I am so lone, so lone! +Take me to you,--take me!" And she buried her face in the deep grass. + +"Poor child!" said Leonard, in a half whisper,--"he is not there. Look +above!" + +The girl did not heed him; he put his arm round her waist gently; she +made a gesture of impatience and anger, but she would not turn her face, +and she clung to the grave with her hands. + +After clear, sunny days the dews fall more heavily; and now, as the sun +set, the herbage was bathed in a vaporous haze,--a dim mist rose around. +The young man seated himself beside her, and tried to draw the child to +his breast. Then she turned eagerly, indignantly, and pushed him aside +with jealous arms. He profaned the grave! He understood her with his +deep poet-heart, and rose. There was a pause. Leonard was the first to +break it. + +"Come to your home with me, my child, and we will talk of him by the +way." + +"Him! Who are you? You did not know him!" said the girl, still with +anger. "Go away! Why do you disturb me? I do no one harm. Go! go!" + +"You do yourself harm, and that will grieve him if he sees you yonder! +Come!" + +The child looked at him through her blinding tears, and his face softened +and soothed her. + +"Go!" she said, very plaintively, and in subdued accents. "I will but +stay a minute more. I--I have so much to say yet." + +Leonard left the churchyard, and waited without; and in a short time the +child came forth, waived him aside as he approached her, and hurried +away. He followed her at a distance, and saw her disappear within the +inn. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +"Hip-Hip-Hurrah!" Such was the sound that greeted our young traveller as +he reached the inn door,--a sound joyous in itself, but sadly out of +harmony with the feelings which the child sobbing on the tombless grave +had left at his heart. The sound came from within, and was followed by +thumps and stamps, and the jingle of glasses. A strong odour of tobacco +was wafted to his olfactory sense. He hesitated a moment at the +threshold. + +Before him, on benches under the beech-tree and within the arbour, were +grouped sundry athletic forms with "pipes in the liberal air." + +The landlady, as she passed across the passage to the taproom, caught +sight of his form at the doorway, and came forward. Leonard still stood +irresolute. He would have gone on his way, but for the child: she had +interested him strongly. + +"You seem full, ma'am," said he. "Can I have accommodation for the +night?" + +"Why, indeed, sir," said the landlady, civilly, "I can give you a +bedroom, but I don't know where to put you meanwhile. The two parlours +and the tap-room and the kitchen are all choke-full. There has been a +great cattle-fair in the neighbourhood, and I suppose we have as many as +fifty farmers and drovers stopping here." + +"As to that, ma'am, I can sit in the bedroom you are kind enough to give +me; and if it does not cause you much trouble to let me have some tea +there, I should be glad; but I can wait your leisure. Do not put +yourself out of the way for me." + +The landlady was touched by a consideration she was not much habituated +to receive from her bluff customers. "You speak very handsome, sir, and +we will do our best to serve you, if you will excuse all faults. This +way, sir." Leonard lowered his knapsack, stepped into the passage, with +some difficulty forced his way through a knot of sturdy giants in top- +boots or leathern gaiters, who were swarining in and out the tap-room, +and followed his hostess upstairs to a little bedroom at the top of the +house. + +"It is small, sir, and high," said the hostess, apologetically. "But +there be four gentlemen farmers that have come a great distance, and all +the first floor is engaged; you will be more out of the noise here." + +"Nothing can suit me better. But, stay,--pardon me;" and Leonard, +glancing at the garb of the hostess, observed she was not in mourning. +"A little girl whom I saw in the churchyard yonder, weeping very +bitterly--is she a relation of yours? Poor child! she seems to have +deeper feelings than are common at her age." + +"Ah, sir," said the landlady, putting the corner of her apron to her +eyes, "it is a very sad story. I don't know what to do. Her father was +taken ill on his way to Lunnon, and stopped here, and has been buried +four days. And the poor little girl seems to have no relations--and +where is she to go? Laryer Jones says we must pass her to Marybone +parish, where her father lived last; and what's to become of her then? +My heart bleeds to think on it." + +Here there rose such an uproar from below, that it was evident some +quarrel had broken out; and the hostess, recalled to her duties, hastened +to carry thither her propitiatory influences. + +Leonard seated himself pensively by the little lattice. Here was some +one more alone in the world than he; and she, poor orphan, had no stout +man's heart to grapple with fate, and no golden manuscripts that were to +be as the "Open-Sesame" to the treasures of Aladdin. By and by, the +hostess brought him up a tray with tea and other refreshments, and +Leonard resumed his inquiries. "No relatives?" said he; "surely the +child must have some kinsfolk in London? Did her father leave no +directions, or was he in possession of his faculties?" + +"Yes, sir; he was quite reasonable like to the last. And I asked him if +he had not anything on his mind, and he said, 'I have.' And I said, +'Your little girl, sir?' And he answered me, 'Yes, ma'am;' and laying +his head on his pillow, he wept very quietly. I could not say more +myself, for it set me off to see him cry so meekly; but my husband is +harder nor I, and he said, 'Cheer up, Mr. Digby; had not you better write +to your friends?' + +"'Friends!' said the gentleman, in such a voice! 'Friends I have but +one, and I am going to Him! I cannot take her there!' Then he seemed +suddenly to recollect himself, and called for his clothes, and rummaged +in the pockets as if looking for some address, and could not find it. He +seemed a forgetful kind of gentleman, and his hands were what I call +helpless hands, sir! And then he gasped out, 'Stop, stop! I never had +the address. Write to Lord Les--', something like Lord Lester, but we +could not make out the name. Indeed he did not finish it, for there was +a rush of blood to his lips; and though he seemed sensible when he +recovered (and knew us and his little girl too, till he went off +smiling), he never spoke word more." + +"Poor man," said Leonard, wiping his eyes. "But his little girl surely +remembers the name that he did not finish?" + +"No. She says he must have meant a gentleman whom they had met in the +Park not long ago, who was very kind to her father, and was Lord +something; but she don't remember the name, for she never saw him before +or since, and her father talked very little about any one lately, but +thought he should find some kind friends at Screwstown, and travelled +down there with her from Lunnon. But she supposes he was disappointed, +for he went out, came back, and merely told her to put up the things, as +they must go back to Lunnon. And on his way there he--died. Hush, +what's that? I hope she did not overhear us. No, we were talking low. +She has the next room to your'n, sir. I thought I heard her sobbing. +Hush!" + +"In the next room? I hear nothing. Well, with your leave, I will speak +to her before I quit you. And had her father no money with him?" + +"Yes, a few sovereigns, sir; they paid for his funeral, and there is a +little left still,--enough to take her to town; for my husband said, says +he, 'Hannah, the widow gave her mite, and we must not take the orphan's;' +and my husband is a hard man, too, sir--bless him!" + +"Let me take your hand, ma'am. God reward you both." "La, sir! why, +even Dr. Dosewell said, rather grumpily though, 'Never mind my bill; but +don't call me up at six o'clock in the morning again, without knowing a +little more about people.' And I never afore knew Dr. Dosewell go +without his bill being paid. He said it was a trick o' the other doctor +to spite him." + +"What other doctor?" + +"Oh, a very good gentleman, who got out with Mr. Digby when he was taken +ill, and stayed till the next morning; and our doctor says his name is +Morgan, and he lives in Lunnou, and is a homy--something." + +"Homicide," suggested Leonard, ignorantly. + +"Ah, homicide; something like that, only a deal longer and worse. But he +left some of the tiniest little balls you ever see, sir, to give the +child; but, bless you, they did her no good,--how should they?" + +"Tiny balls, oh--homoeopathist--I understand. And the doctor was kind to +her; perhaps he may help her. Have you written to him?" + +"But we don't know his address, and Lunnon is a vast place, sir." + +"I am going to London and will find it out." + +"Ah, sir, you seem very kind; and sin' she must go to Lunnon (for what +can we do with her here?--she's too genteel for service), I wish she was +going with you." + +"With me!" said Leonard, startled,--"with me! Well, why not?" + +"I am sure she comes of good blood, sir. You would have known her father +was quite the gentleman, only to see him die, sir. He went off so kind +and civil like, as if he was ashamed to give so much trouble,--quite a +gentleman, if ever there was one. And so are you, sir, I'm sure," said +the land lady, courtesying; "I know what gentlefolk be. I've been a +housekeeper in the first of families in this very shire, sir, though I +can't say I've served in Lunnon; and so, as gentlefolks know each other, +I 've no doubt you could find out her relations. Dear, dear! Coming, +coming!" + +Here there were loud cries for the hostess, and she hurried away. The +farmers and drovers were beginning to depart, and their bills were to be +made out and paid. Leonard saw his hostess no more that night. The last +Hip-hip-hurrah was heard,--some toast, perhaps to the health of the +county members,--and the chamber of woe beside Leonard's rattled with the +shout. By and by, silence gradually succeeded the various dissonant +sounds below. The carts and gigs rolled away; the clatter of hoofs on +the road ceased; there was then a dumb dull sound as of locking-up, and +low, humming voices below, and footsteps mounting the stairs to bed, with +now and then a drunken hiccough or maudlin laugh, as some conquered +votary of Bacchus was fairly carried up to his domicile. + +All, then, at last was silent, just as the clock from the church sounded +the stroke of eleven. + +Leonard, meanwhile, had been looking over his manuscripts. There was +first a project for an improvement on the steam-engine,--a project that +had long lain in his mind, begun with the first knowledge of mechanics +that he had gleaned from his purchases of the tinker. He put that aside +now,--it required too great an effort of the reasoning faculty to +re-examine. + +He glanced less hastily over a collection of essays on various subjects, +--some that he thought indifferent, some that he thought good. He then +lingered over a collection of verses written in his best hand with loving +care,--verses first inspired by his perusal of Nora's melancholy +memorials. These verses were as a diary of his heart and his fancy,-- +those deep, unwitnessed struggles which the boyhood of all more +thoughtful natures has passed in its bright yet murky storm of the cloud +and the lightning-flash, though but few boys pause to record the crisis +from which slowly emerges Man. And these first desultory grapplings with +the fugitive airy images that flit through the dim chambers of the brain +had become with each effort more sustained and vigorous, till the +phantoms were spelled, the flying ones arrested, the Immaterial seized, +and clothed with Form. Gazing on his last effort, Leonard felt that +there at length spoke forth the poet. It was a work which though as yet +but half completed, came from a strong hand; not that shadow trembling on +unsteady waters, which is but the pale reflex and imitation of some +bright mind, sphered out of reach and afar, but an original substance,-- +a life, a thing of the Creative Faculty,--breathing back already the +breath it had received. This work had paused during Leonard's residence +with Mr. Avenel, or had only now and then, in stealth, and at night, +received a rare touch. Now, as with a fresh eye he reperused it, and +with that strange, innocent admiration, not of self--for a man's work is +not, alas! himself,--it is the beautified and idealized essence, +extracted he knows not how from his own human elements of clay; +admiration known but to poets,--their purest delight, often their sole +reward. And then with a warmer and more earthly beat of his full heart, +he rushed in fancy to the Great City, where all rivers of fame meet, but +not to be merged and lost, sallying forth again, individualized and +separate, to flow through that one vast Thought of God which we call +THE WORLD. + +He put up his papers; and opened his window, as was his ordinary custom, +before he retired to rest,--for he had many odd habits; and he loved to +look out into the night when he prayed. His soul seemed to escape from +the body--to mount on the air, to gain more rapid access to the far +Throne in the Infinite--when his breath went forth among the winds, and +his eyes rested fixed on the stars of heaven. + +So the boy prayed silently; and after his prayer he was about, +lingeringly, to close the lattice, when he heard distinctly sobs close at +hand. He paused, and held his breath, then looked gently out; the +casement next his own was also open. Someone was also at watch by that +casement,--perhaps also praying. He listened yet more intently, and +caught, soft and low, the words, "Father, Father, do you hear me now?" + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +Leonard opened his door and stole towards that of the room adjoining; for +his first natural impulse had been to enter and console. But when his +touch was on the handle, he drew back. Child though the mourner was, her +sorrows were rendered yet more sacred from intrusion by her sex. +Something, he knew not what, in his young ignorance, withheld him from +the threshold. To have crossed it then would have seemed to him +profanation. So he returned, and for hours yet he occasionally heard the +sobs, till they died away, and childhood wept itself to sleep. + +But the next morning, when he heard his neighbour astir, he knocked +gently at her door: there was no answer. He entered softly, and saw her +seated very listlessly in the centre of the room,--as if it had no +familiar nook or corner as the rooms of home have, her hands drooping on +her lap, and her eyes gazing desolately on the floor. Then he approached +and spoke to her. + +Helen was very subdued, and very silent. Her tears seemed dried up; +and it was long before she gave sign or token that she heeded him. At +length, however, he gradually succeeded in rousing her interest; and the +first symptom of his success was in the quiver of her lip, and the +overflow of her downcast eyes. + +By little and little he wormed himself into her confidence; and she told +him in broken whispers her simple story. But what moved him the most +was, that beyond her sense of loneliness she did not seem to feel her own +unprotected state. She mourned the object she had nursed and heeded and +cherished, for she had been rather the protectress than the protected to +the helpless dead. He could not gain from her any more satisfactory +information than the landlady had already imparted, as to her friends and +prospects; but she permitted him passively to look among the effects her +father had left, save only that, if his hand touched something that +seemed to her associations especially holy, she waved him back, or drew +it quickly away. There were many bills receipted in the name of Captain +Digby, old yellow faded music-scores for the flute, extracts of Parts +from Prompt Books, gay parts of lively comedies, in which heroes have so +noble a contempt for money,--fit heroes for a Sheridan and a Farquhar; +close by these were several pawnbroker's tickets; and, not arrayed +smoothly, but crumpled up, as if with an indignant nervous clutch of the +helpless hands, some two or three letters. He asked Helen's permission +to glance at these, for they might afford a clew to friends. Helen gave +the permission by a silent bend of the head. The letters, however, were +but short and freezing answers from what appeared to be distant +connections or former friends, or persons to whom the deceased had +applied for some situation. They were all very disheartening in their +tone. Leonard next endeavoured to refresh Helen's memory as to the name +of the nobleman which had been last on her father's lips; but there he +failed wholly. For it may be remembered that Lord L'Estrange, when he +pressed his loan on Mr. Digby, and subsequently told that gentleman to +address him at Mr. Egerton's, had, from a natural delicacy, sent the +child on, that she might not witness the charity bestowed on the father; +and Helen said truly that Mr. Digby had sunk latterly into an habitual +silence on all his affairs. She might have heard her father mention the +name, but she had not treasured it up; all she could say was, that she +should know the stranger again if she met him, and his dog too. Seeing +that the child had grown calm, Leonard was then going to leave the room, +in order to confer with the hostess, when she rose suddenly, though +noiselessly, and put her little hand in his, as if to detain him. She +did not say a word; the action said all,--said, "Do not desert me." And +Leonard's heart rushed to his lips, and he answered to the action, as he +bent down, and kissed her cheek, "Orphan, will you go with me? We have +one Father yet to both of us, and He will guide us on earth. I am +fatherless like you." She raised her eyes to his, looked at him long, +and then leaned her head confidingly on his strong young shoulder. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +At noon that same day the young man and the child were on their road to +London. The host had at first a little demurred at trusting Helen to so +young a companion; but Leonard, in his happy ignorance, had talked so +sanguinely of finding out this lord, or some adequate protectors for the +child; and in so grand a strain, though with all sincerity, had spoken of +his own great prospects in the metropolis (he did not say what they +were!) that had he been the craftiest impostor he could not more have +taken in the rustic host. And while the landlady still cherished the +illusive fancy that all gentlefolks must know each other in London, as +they did in a county, the landlord believed, at least, that a young man +so respectably dressed, although but a foot-traveller, who talked in so +confident a tone, and who was so willing to undertake what might be +rather a burdensome charge, unless he saw how to rid himself of it, would +be sure to have friends older and wiser than himself, who would judge +what could best be done for the orphan. + +And what was the host to do with her? Better this volunteered escort, at +least, than vaguely passing her on from parish to parish, and leaving her +friendless at last in the streets of London. Helen, too, smiled for the +first time on being asked her wishes, and again put her hand in +Leonard's. In short, so it was settled. + +The little girl made up a bundle of the things she most prized or needed. +Leonard did not feel the additional load, as he slung it to his knapsack; +the rest of the luggage was to be sent to London as soon as Leonard wrote +(which he promised to do soon) and gave an address. + +Helen paid her last visit to the churchyard; and she joined her companion +as he stood on the road, without the solemn precincts. And now they had +gone on some hours; and when he asked her if she were tired, she still +answered "No." But Leonard was merciful, and made their day's journey +short; and it took them some days to reach London. By the long lonely +way they grew so intimate, at the end of the second day, they called each +other brother and sister; and Leonard, to his delight, found that as her +grief, with the bodily movement and the change of scene, subsided from +its first intenseness and its insensibility to other impressions, she +developed a quickness of comprehension far beyond her years. Poor child! +that had been forced upon her by Necessity. And she understood him in +his spiritual consolations, half poetical, half religious; and she +listened to his own tale, and the story of his self-education and +solitary struggles,--those, too, she understood. But when he burst out +with his enthusiasm, his glorious hopes, his confidence in the fate +before them, then she would shake her head very quietly and very sadly. +Did she comprehend them! Alas! perhaps too well. She knew more as to +real life than he did. Leonard was at first their joint treasurer; but +before the second day was over, Helen seemed to discover that he was too +lavish; and she told him so, with a prudent grave look, putting her hand +on his arm as he was about to enter an inn to dine; and the gravity would +have been comic, but that the eyes through their moisture were so meek +and grateful. She felt he was about to incur that ruinous extravagance +on her account. Somehow or other, the purse found its way into her +keeping, and then she looked proud and in her natural element. + +Ah! what happy meals under her care were provided; so much more enjoyable +than in dull, sanded inn-parlours, swarming with flies, and reeking with +stale tobacco. She would leave him at the entrance of a village, bound +forward, and cater, and return with a little basket and a pretty blue +jug--which she had bought on the road,--the last filled with new milk; +the first with new bread, and some special dainty in radishes or water- +tresses. And she had such a talent for finding out the prettiest spot +whereon to halt and dine: sometimes in the heart of a wood,--so still, +it was like a forest in fairy tales, the hare stealing through the +alleys, or the squirrel peeping at them from the boughs; sometimes by a +little brawling stream, with the fishes seen under the clear wave, and +shooting round the crumbs thrown to them. They made an Arcadia of the +dull road up to their dread Thermopylae, the war against the million that +waited them on the other side of their pass through Tempo. + +"Shall we be as happy when we are great?" said Leonard, in his grand +simplicity. + +Helen sighed, and the wise little head was shaken. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +At last they came within easy reach of London; but Leonard had resolved +not to enter the metropolis fatigued and exhausted, as a wanderer needing +refuge, but fresh and elate, as a conqueror coming in triumph to take +possession of the capital. Therefore they halted early in the evening of +the day preceding this imperial entry, about six miles from the +metropolis, in the neighbourhood of Ealing (for by that route lay their +way). They were not tired on arriving at their inn. The weather was +singularly lovely, with that combination of softness and brilliancy which +is only known to the rare true summer days of England; all below so +green, above so blue,--days of which we have about six in the year, and +recall vaguely when we read of Robin Hood and Maid Marian, of Damsel and +Knight in Spenser's golden Summer Song, or of Jacques, dropped under the +oak-tree, watching the deer amidst the dells of Ardennes. So, after a +little pause at their inn, they strolled forth, not for travel but +pleasure, towards the cool of sunset, passing by the grounds that once +belonged to the Duke of Kent, and catching a glimpse of the shrubs and +lawns of that beautiful domain through the lodge-gates; then they crossed +into some fields, and came to a little rivulet called the Brent. Helen +had been more sad that day than on any during their journey,--perhaps +because, on approaching London, the memory of her father became more +vivid; perhaps from her precocious knowledge of life, and her foreboding +of what was to befall them, children that they both were. But Leonard +was selfish that day; he could not be influenced by his companion's +sorrow; he was so full of his own sense of being, and he already caught +from the atmosphere the fever that belongs to anxious capitals. + +"Sit here, sister," said he, imperiously, throwing himself under the +shade of a pollard-tree that overhung the winding brook, "sit here and +talk." + +He flung off his hat, tossed back his rich curls, and sprinkled his brow +from the stream that eddied round the roots of the tree that bulged out, +bald and gnarled, from the bank and delved into the waves below. Helen +quietly obeyed him, and nestled close to his side. + +"And so this London is really very vast,--VERY?" he repeated +inquisitively. + +"Very," answered Helen, as, abstractedly, she plucked the cowslips near +her, and let them fall into the running waters. "See how the flowers are +carried down the stream! They are lost now. London is to us what the +river is to the flowers, very vast, very strong;" and she added, after a +pause, "very cruel!" + +"Cruel! Ah, it has been so to you; but now--now I will take care of +you!" he smiled triumphantly; and his smile was beautiful both in its +pride and its kindness. It is astonishing how Leonard had altered since +he had left his uncle's. He was both younger and older; for the sense of +genius, when it snaps its shackles, makes us both older and wiser as to +the world it soars to, younger and blinder as to the world it springs +from. + +"And it is not a very handsome city, either, you say?" + +"Very ugly indeed," said Helen, with some fervour; "at least all I have +seen of it." + +"But there must be parts that are prettier than others? You say there +are parks: why should not we lodge near them and look upon the green +trees?" + +"That would be nice," said Helen, almost joyously; "but--" and here the +head was shaken--"there are no lodgings for us except in courts and +alleys." + +"Why?" + +"Why?" echoed Helen, with a smile, and she held up the purse. + +"Pooh! always that horrid purse; as if, too, we were not going to fill +it! Did not I tell you the story of Fortunio? Well, at all events, we +will go first to the neighbourhood where you last lived, and learn there +all we can; and then the day after to-morrow I will see this Dr. Morgan, +and find out the lord." + +The tears started to Helen's soft eyes. "You want to get rid of me soon, +brother." + +"I! Ah, I feel so happy to have you with me it seems to me as if I had +pined for you all my life, and you had come at last; for I never had +brother nor sister nor any one to love, that was not older than myself, +except--" + +"Except the young lady you told me of," said Helen, turning away her +face; for children are very jealous. + +"Yes, I loved her, love her still. But that was different," said +Leonard. "I could never have talked to her as to you: to you I open my +whole heart; you are my little Muse, Helen: I confess to you my wild +whims and fancies as frankly as if I were writing poetry." As he said +this, a step was heard, and a shadow fell over the stream. A belated +angler appeared on the margin, drawing his line impatiently across the +water, as if to worry some dozing fish into a bite before it finally +settled itself for the night. Absorbed in his occupation, the angler did +not observe the young persons on the sward under the tree, and he halted +there, close upon them. + +"Curse that perch!" said he, aloud. + +"Take care, sir," cried Leonard; for the man, in stepping back, nearly +trod upon Helen. + +The angler turned. "What 's the matter? Hist! you have frightened my +perch. Keep still, can't you?" + +Helen drew herself out of the way, and Leonard remained motionless. He +remembered Jackeymo, and felt a sympathy for the angler. + +"It is the most extraordinary perch, that!" muttered the stranger, +soliloquizing. "It has the devil's own luck. It must have been born +with a silver spoon in its mouth, that damned perch! I shall never catch +it,--never! Ha! no, only a weed. I give it up." With this, he +indignantly jerked his rod from the water and began to disjoint it. +While leisurely engaged in this occupation, he turned to Leonard. + +"Humph! are you intimately acquainted with this stream, sir?" + +"No," answered Leonard. "I never saw it before." + +ANGLER, (solemnly).--"Then, young man, take my advice, and do not give +way to its fascinations. Sir, I am a martyr to this stream; it has been +the Delilah of my existence." + +LEONARD (interested, the last sentence seemed to him poetical).--"The +Delilah! sir, the Delilah!" + +ANGLER.--"The Delilah. Young man, listen, and be warned by example. +When I was about your age, I first came to this stream to fish. Sir, on +that fatal day, about three p.m., I hooked up a fish,--such a big one, it +must have weighed a pound and a half. Sir, it was that length; "and the +angler put finger to wrist. "And just when I had got it nearly ashore, +by the very place where you are sitting, on that shelving bank, young +man, the line broke, and the perch twisted himself among those roots, +and--cacodaemon that he was--ran off, hook and all. Well, that fish +haunted me; never before had I seen such a fish. Minnows I had caught in +the Thames and elsewhere, also gudgeons, and occasionally a dace. But a +fish like that--a PERCH, all his fins up, like the sails of a man-of-war +--a monster perch,--a whale of a perch! No, never till then had I known +what leviathans lie hid within the deeps. I could not sleep till I +had returned; and again, sir,--I caught that perch. And this time I +pulled him fairly out of the water. He escaped; and how did he escape? +Sir, he left his eye behind him on the hook. Years, long years, have +passed since then; but never shall I forget the agony of that moment." + +LEONARD.--"To the perch, sir?" + +ANGLER.--"Perch! agony to him! He enjoyed it. Agony to me! I gazed on +that eye, and the eye looked as sly and as wicked as if it were laughing +in my face. Well, sir, I had heard that there is no better bait for a +perch than a perch's eye. I adjusted that eye on the hook, and dropped +in the line gently. The water was unusually clear; in two minutes +I saw that perch return. He approached the hook; he recognized his eye, +frisked his tail, made a plunge, and, as I live, carried off the eye, +safe and sound; and I saw him digesting it by the side of that water- +lily. The mocking fiend! Seven times since that day, in the course of a +varied and eventful life, have I caught that perch, and seven times has +that perch escaped." + +LEONARD (astonished).--"It can't be the same perch; perches are very +tender fish. A hook inside of it, and an eye hooked out of it--no perch +could withstand such havoc in its constitution." + +ANGLER (with an appearance of awe).--"It does seem supernatural. But it +is that perch; for hark ye, sir, there is ONLY ONE perch in the whole +brook! All the years I have fished here, I have never caught another +perch; and this solitary inmate of the watery element I know by sight +better than I knew my own lost father. For each time that I have raised +it out of the water, its profile has been turned to me, and I have seen +with a shudder that it has had only--One Eye! It is a most mysterious +and a most diabolical phenomenon, that perch! It has been the ruin of my +prospects in life. I was offered a situation in Jamaica: I could not go +with that perch left here in triumph. I might afterwards have had an +appointinent in India, but I could not put the ocean between myself and +that perch: thus have I frittered away my existence in the fatal +metropolis of my native land. And once a week from February to December +I come hither. Good heavens! if I should catch the perch at last, the +occupation of my existence will be gone." + +Leonard gazed curiously at the angler, as the last thus mournfully +concluded. The ornate turn of his periods did not suit with his costume. +He looked wofully threadbare and shabby,--a genteel sort of shabbiness +too,--shabbiness in black. There was humour in the corners of his lip; +and his hands, though they did not seem very clean--indeed his occupation +was not friendly to such niceties--were those of a man who had not known +manual labour. His face was pale and puffed, but the tip of the nose was +red. He did not seem as if the watery element was as familiar to himself +as to his Delilah, the perch. + +"Such is Life!" recommenced the angler, in a moralizing tone, as he slid +his rod into its canvas case. "If a man knew what it was to fish all +one's life in a stream that has only one perch, to catch that one perch +nine times in all, and nine times to see it fall back into the water, +plump,--if a man knew what it was, why, then "--here the angler looked +over his shoulder full at Leonard--"why then, young sir, he would know +what human life is to vain ambition. Good-evening." + +Away he went treading over the daisies and kingcups. Helen's eyes +followed him wistfully. + +"What a strange person!" said Leonard, laughing. + +"I think he is a very wise one," murmured Helen; and she came close up to +Leonard, and took his hand in both hers, as if she felt already that he +was in need of the Comforter,--the line broken, and the perch lost! + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +At noon the next day, London stole upon them through a gloomy, thick, +oppressive atmosphere; for where is it that we can say London bursts on +the sight? It stole on them through one of its fairest and most gracious +avenues of approach,--by the stately gardens of Kensington, along the +side of Hyde Park, and so on towards Cumberland Gate. + +Leonard was not the least struck. And yet with a very little money, and +a very little taste, it would be easy to render this entrance to London +as grand and as imposing as that to Paris from the Champs Elysees. As +they came near the Edgware Road, Helen took her new brother by the hand +and guided him; for she knew all that neighbourhood, and she was +acquainted with a lodging near that occupied by her father (to that +lodging itself she could not have gone for the world), where they might +be housed cheaply. + +But just then the sky, so dull and overcast since morning, seemed one +mass of black cloud. There suddenly came on a violent storm of rain. +The boy and girl took refuge in a covered mews, in a street running out +of the Edgware Road. This shelter soon became crowded; the two young +pilgrims crept close to the wall, apart from the rest, Leonard's arm +round Helen's waist, sheltering her from the rain that the strong wind +contending with it beat in through the passage. Presently a young +gentleman of better mien and dress than the other refugees entered, not +hastily, but rather with a slow and proud step, as if, though he deigned +to take shelter, he scorned to run to it. He glanced somewhat haughtily +at the assembled group, passed on through the midst of it, came near +Leonard, took off his hat, and shook the rain from its brim. His head +thus uncovered, left all his features exposed; and the village youth +recognized, at the first glance, his old victorious assailant on the +green at Hazeldean. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +Yet Randal Leslie was altered. His dark cheek was as thin as in boyhood, +and even yet more wasted by intense study and night vigils; but the +expression of his face was at once more refined and manly, and there was +a steady concentrated light in his eye, like that of one who has been in +the habit of bringing all his thoughts to one point. He looked older +than he was. He was dressed simply in black, a colour which became him; +and altogether his aspect and figure were, not showy indeed, but +distinguished. He looked to the common eye a gentleman; and to the more +observant a scholar. + +Helter-skelter! pell-mell! the group in the passage now pressed each on +each, now scattered on all sides, making way, rushing down the mews, +against the walls, as a fiery horse darted under shelter. The rider, a +young man with a very handsome face, and dressed with that peculiar care +which we commonly call dandyism, cried out, good-humouredly, "Don't be +afraid; the horse sha'n't hurt any of you. A thousand pardons--so ho! +so ho!" He patted the horse, and it stood as still as a statue, filling +up the centre of the passage. The groups resettled; Randal approached +the rider. + +"Frank Hazeldean!" + +"Ah, is it indeed Randal Leslie?" + +Frank was off his horse in a moment, and the bridle was consigned to the +care of a slim 'prentice-boy holding a bundle. + +"My dear fellow, how glad I am to see you. How lucky it was that I +should turn in here. Not like me either, for I don't much care for a +ducking. Staying in town, Randal?" + +"Yes; at your uncle's, Mr. Egerton. I have left Oxford." + +"For good?" + +"For good." + +"But you have not taken your degree, I think? We Etonians all considered +you booked for a double-first. Oh, we have been so proud of your fame,-- +you carried off all the prizes." + +"Not all; but some, certainly. Mr. Egerton offered me my choice,--to +stay for my degree, or to enter at once into the Foreign Office. I +preferred the end to the means. For, after all, what good are academical +honours but as the entrance to life? To enter now is to save a step in a +long way, Frank." + +"Ah, you were always ambitious, and you will make a great figure, I am +sure." + +"Perhaps so--if I work for it. Knowledge is power." Leonard started. + +"And you!" resumed Randal, looking with some curious attention at his old +schoolfellow. "You never came to Oxford. I did hear you were going into +the army." + +"I am in the Guards," said Frank, trying hard not to look too conceited +as he made that acknowledgment. "The governor pished a little, and would +rather I had come to live with him in the old Hall, and take to farming. +Time enough for that, eh? By Jove, Randal, how pleasant a thing is life +in London! Do you go to Almack's to-night?" + +"No; Wednesday is a holiday in the House. There is a great parliamentary +dinner at Mr. Egerton's. He is in the Cabinet now, you know; but you +don't see much of your uncle, I think." + +"Our sets are different," said the young gentleman, in a tone of voice +worthy of Brummel. "All those parliamentary fellows are devilish dull. +The rain's over. I don't know whether the governor would like me to call +at Grosvenor Square; but pray come and see me. Here's my card to remind +you; you must dine at our mess. Such capital fellows! What day will you +fix?" + +"I will call and let you know. Don't you find it rather expensive in the +Guards? I remember that you thought the governor, as you call him, used +to chafe a little when you wrote for more pocket-money; and the only time +I ever saw you with tears in your eyes was when Mr. Hazeldean, in sending +you L5, reminded you that his estates were not entailed,--were at his own +disposal, and they should never go to an extravagant spendthrift. It was +not a pleasant threat that, Frank." + +"Oh!" cried the young man, colouring deeply. "It was not the threat that +pained me; it was that my father could think so meanly of me as to fancy +that---Well, well, but those were schoolboy days. And my father was +always more generous than I deserved. We must see a great deal of each +other, Randal. How good-natured you were at Eton, making my longs and +shorts for me; I shall never forget it. Do call soon." + +Frank swung himself into his saddle, and rewarded the slim youth with +half-a-crown,--a largess four times more ample than his father would have +deemed sufficient. A jerk of the reins and a touch of the heel, off +bounded the fiery horse and the gay young rider. Randal mused, and as +the rain had now ceased, the passengers under shelter dispersed and went +their way. Only Randal, Leonard, and Helen remained behind. Then, as +Randal, still musing, lifted his eyes, they fell full upon Leonard's +face. He started, passed his hand quickly over his brow, looked again, +hard and piercingly; and the change in his pale cheek to a shade still +paler, a quick compression and nervous gnawing of his lip, showed that he +too recognized an old foe. Then his glance ran over Leonard's dress, +which was somewhat dust-stained, but far above the class amongst which +the peasant was born. Randal raised his brows in surprise, and with a +smile slightly supercilious--the smile stung Leonard--and with a slow +step, Randal left the passage, and took his way towards Grosvenor Square. +The Entrance of Ambition was clear to him. + +Then the little girl once more took Leonard by the hand, and led him +through rows of humble, obscure, dreary streets. It seemed almost like +an allegory personified, as the sad, silent child led on the penniless +and low-born adventurer of genius by the squalid shops and through the +winding lanes, which grew meaner and meaner, till both their forms +vanished from the view. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +"But do come; change your dress, return and dine with me; you will have +just time, Harley. You will meet the most eminent men of our party; +surely they are worth your study, philosopher that you affect to be." + +Thus said Audley Egerton to Lord L'Estrange, with whom he had been riding +(after the toils of his office). The two gentlemen were in Audley's +library,--Mr. Egerton, as usual, buttoned up, seated in his chair, in the +erect posture of a man who scorns "inglorious ease;" Harley, as usual, +thrown at length on the sofa., his long hair in careless curls, his +neckcloth loose, his habiliments flowing simplex mundit is, indeed, his +grace all his own; seemingly negligent, never slovenly; at ease +everywhere and with every one, even with Mr. Audley Egerton, who chilled +or awed the ease out of most people. + +"Nay, my dear Audley, forgive me. But your eminent men are all men of +one idea, and that not a diverting one, politics! politics! politics! +The storm in the saucer." + +"But what is your life, Harley?--the saucer without the storm?" + +"Do you know, that's very well said, Audley? I did not think you had so +much liveliness of repartee. Life! life! it is insipid, it is shallow, +--no launching Argosies in the saucer. Audley, I have the oddest +fancy--" + +"That of course," said Audley, dryly; "you never had any other. What is +the new one?" + +HARLEY (with great gravity).--"Do you believe in Mesmerism?" + +AUDLEY.--"Certainly not." + +HARLEY.--"If it were in the power of an animal magnetizer to get me out +of my own skin into somebody's else! That's my fancy! I am so tired of +myself,--so tired! I have run through all my ideas,--know every one of +them by heart. When some pretentious impostor of an idea perks itself up +and says, 'Look at me,--I 'm a new acquaintance,' I just give it a nod, +and say 'Not at all, you have only got a new coat on; you are the same +old wretch that has bored me these last twenty years; get away.' But if +one could be in a new skin, if I could be for half-an-hour your tall +porter, or one of your eminent matter-of-fact men, I should then really +travel into a new world.' Every man's brain must be a world in itself, +eh? If I could but make a parochial settlement even in yours, Audley,-- +run over all your thoughts and sensations. Upon my life, I 'll go and +talk to that French mesmerizer about it." + + [If, at the date in which Lord L'Estrange held this conversation + with Mr. Egerton, Alfred de Musset had written his comedies, we + should suspect that his lordship had plagiarized from one of them + the whimsical idea that he here vents upon Audley. In repeating it, + the author at least cannot escape from the charge of obligation to a + writer whose humour is sufficiently opulent to justify the loan.] + +AUDLEY (who does not seem to like the notion of having his thoughts and +sensations rummaged, even by his friend, and even in fancy)--"Pooh, pooh, +pooh! Do talk like a man of sense." + +HARLEY.--"Man of sense! Where shall I find a model? I don't know a man +of sense!--never met such a creature. Don't believe it ever existed. At +one time I thought Socrates must have been a man of sense: a delusion; he +would stand gazing into the air, and talking to his Genius from sunrise +to sunset. Is that like a man of sense? Poor Audley! how puzzled he +looks! Well, I'll try and talk sense to oblige you. And first" (here +Harley raised himself on his elbow),--"first, is it true, as I have heard +vaguely, that you are paying court to the sister of that infamous Italian +traitor?" + +"Madame di Negra? No: I am not paying court to her," answered Audley, +with a cold smile. "But she is very handsome; she is very clever; she is +useful to me,--I need not say how or why; that belongs to my metier as a +politician. But I think, if you will take my advice, or get your friend +to take it, I could obtain from her brother, through my influence with +her, some liberal concessions to your exile. She is very anxious to know +where he is." + +"You have not told her?" + +"No; I promised you I would keep that secret." + +"Be sure you do; it is only for some mischief, some snare, that she could +desire such information. Concessions! pooh! This is no question of +concessions, but of rights." + +"I think you should leave your friend to judge of that." + +"Well, I will write to him. Meanwhile, beware of this woman. I have +heard much of her abroad, and she has the character of her brother for +duplicity and--" + +"Beauty," interrupted Audley, turning the conversation with practised +adroitness. "I am told that the count is one of the handsomest men in +Europe, much handsomer than his sister still, though nearly twice her +age. Tut, tut, Harley; fear not for me. I am proof against all feminine +attractions. This heart is dead." + +"Nay, nay; it is not for you to speak thus,--leave that to me. But even +I will not say it. The heart never dies. And you; what have you lost?-- +a wife; true: an excellent, noble-hearted woman. But was it love that +you felt for her? Enviable man, have you ever loved?" + +"Perhaps not, Harley," said Audley, with a sombre aspect and in dejected +accents; "very few men ever have loved, at least as you mean by the word. +But there are other passions than love that kill the heart, and reduce us +to mechanism." + +While Egerton spoke, Harley turned aside, and his breast heaved. There +was a short silence; Audley was the first to break it. + +"Speaking of my lost wife, I am sorry that you do not approve what I have +done for her young kinsman, Randal Leslie." + +HARLEY (recovering himself with an effort).--"Is it true kindness to bid +him exchange manly independence for the protection of an official +patron?" + +AUDLEV.--"I did not bid him. I gave him his choice. At his age, I +should have chosen as he has done." + +HARLEY.--"I trust not; I think better of you. But answer me one question +frankly, and then I will ask another. Do you mean to make this young man +your heir?" + +AUDLEY (with a slight embarrassment).--"Heir, pooh! I am young still. I +may live as long as he--time enough to think of that." + +HARLEY.--"Then now to my second question. Have you told this youth +plainly that he may look to you for influence, but not for wealth?" + +AUDLEY (firmly).--"I think I have; but I shall repeat it more +emphatically." + +HARLEY.--"Then I am satisfied as to your conduct, but not as to his. +For he has too acute an intellect not to know what it is to forfeit +independence; and, depend on it, he has made his calculations, and would +throw you into the bargain in any balance that he could strike in his +favour. You go by your experience in judging men; I by my instincts. +Nature warns us as it does the inferior animals,--only we are too +conceited, we bipeds, to heed her. My instincts of soldier and gentleman +recoil from that old young man. He has the soul of the Jesuit. I see it +in his eye, I hear it in the tread of his foot; /volto sciolto/ he has +not; /i pensieri stretti/ he has. Hist! I hear now his step in the +hall. I should know it from a thousand. That's his very touch on the +handle of the door." + +Randal Leslie entered. Harley--who, despite his disregard for forms, and +his dislike to Randal, was too high-bred not to be polite to his junior +in age or inferior in rank-rose and bowed. But his bright piercing eyes +did not soften as they caught and bore down the deeper and more latent +fire in Randal's. Harley did not resume his seat, but moved to the +mantelpiece, and leaned against it. + +RANDAL.--"I have fulfilled your commissions, Mr. Egerton. I went first +to Maida Hill, and saw Mr. Burley. I gave him the check, but he said it +was too much, and he should return half to the banker; he will write the +article as you suggested. I then--" + +AUDLEY.--"Enough, Randal! we will not fatigue Lord L'Estrange with these +little details of a life that displeases him,--the life political." + +HARLEY.---"But these details do not displease me; they reconcile me to my +own life. Go on, pray, Mr. Leslie." + +Randal had too much tact to need the cautioning glance of Mr. Egerton. +He did not continue, but said with a soft voice, "Do you think, Lord +L'Estrange, that the contemplation of the mode of life pursued by others +can reconcile a man to his own, if he had before thought it needed a +reconciler?" Harley looked pleased, for the question was ironical; and +if there was a thing in the world be abhorred, it was flattery. + +"Recollect your Lucretius, Mr. Leslie, the /Suave mare/, etc., 'pleasant +from the cliff to see the mariners tossed on the ocean.' Faith, I think +that sight reconciles one to the cliff, though, before, one might have +been teased by the splash from the spray, and deafened by the scream of +the sea-gulls. But I leave you, Audley. Strange that I have heard no +more of my soldier! Remember I have your promise when I come to claim +it. Good-by, Mr. Leslie, I hope that Burley's article will be worth the +check." + +Lord L'Estrange mounted his horse, which was still at the door, and rode +through the Park. But he was no longer now unknown by sight. Bows and +nods saluted him on every side. + +"Alas, I am found out, then," said he to himself. "That terrible Duchess +of Knaresborough, too--I must fly my coun try." He pushed his horse into +a canter, and was soon out of the Park. As he dismounted at his father's +sequestered house, you would have hardly supposed him the same whimsical, +fantastic, but deep and subtle humourist that delighted in perplexing the +material Audley, for his expressive face was unutterably serious. But +the moment he came into the presence of his parents, the countenance was +again lighted and cheerful. It brightened the whole room like sunshine. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +"Mr. Leslie," said Egerton, when Harley had left the library, "you did +not act with your usual discretion in touching upon matters connected +with politics in the presence of a third party." + +"I feel that already, sir; my excuse is, that I held Lord L'Estrange to +be your most intimate friend." + +"A public man, Mr. Leslie, would ill serve his country if he were not +especially reserved towards his private friends--when they do not belong +to his party." + +"But pardon me my ignorance. Lord Lansmere is so well known to be one of +your supporters, that I fancied his son must share his sentiments, and be +in your confidence." + +Egerton's brows slightly contracted, and gave a stern expression to a +countenance always firm and decided. He however answered in a mild tone, + +"At the entrance into political life, Mr. Leslie, there is nothing in +which a young man of your talents should be more on his guard than +thinking for himself; he will nearly always think wrong. And I believe +that is one reason why young men of talent disappoint their friends, and +remain so long out of office." + +A haughty flush passed over Randal's brow, and faded away quickly; he +bowed in silence. + +Egerton resumed, as if in explanation, and even in kindly apology, + +"Look at Lord L'Estrange himself. What young man could come into life +with brighter auspices? Rank, wealth, high animal spirits (a great +advantage those same spirits, Mr. Leslie), courage, self-possession, +scholarship as brilliant perhaps as your own; and now see how his life is +wasted! Why? He always thought fit to think for himself. He could +never be broken into harness, and never will be. The state coach, Mr. +Leslie, requires that all the horses should pull together." + +"With submission, sir," answered Randal, "I should think that there were +other reasons why Lord L'Estrange, whatever be his talents--and of these +you must be indeed an adequate judge--would never do anything in public +life." + +"Ay, and what?" said Egerton, quickly. + +"First," said Randal, shrewdly, "private life has done too much for him. +What could public life give to one who needs nothing? Born at the top of +the social ladder, why should he put himself voluntarily at the last +step, for the sake of climbing up again? And secondly, Lord L'Estrange +seems to me a man in whose organization /sentiment/ usurps too large a +share for practical existence." + +"You have a keen eye," said Audley, with some admiration,--"keen for one +so young. Poor Harley!" + +Mr. Egerton's last words were said to himself. He resumed quickly, + +"There is something on my mind, my young friend. Let us be frank with +each other. I placed before you fairly the advantages and disadvantages +of the choice I gave you. To take your degree with such honours as no +doubt you would have won, to obtain your fellowship, to go to the Bar, +with those credentials in favour of your talents,--this was one career. +To come at once into public life, to profit by my experience, avail +yourself of my interest, to take the chances of rise or fall with a +party,--this was another. You chose the last. But in so doing, there +was a consideration which might weigh with you, and on which, in stating +your reasons for your option, you were silent." + +"What is that, sir?" + +"You might have counted on my fortune, should the chances of party fail +you: speak, and without shame if so; it would be natural in a young man, +who comes from the elder branch of the House whose heiress was my wife." + +"You wound me, Mr. Egerton," said Randal, turning away. + +Mr. Egerton's cold glance followed Randal's movements; the face was hid +from the glance, and the statesman's eye rested on the figure, which is +often as self-betraying as the countenance itself. Randal baffled Mr. +Egerton's penetration,--the young man's emotion might be honest pride and +pained and generous feeling, or it might be something else. Egerton +continued slowly, + +"Once for all, then, distinctly and emphatically, I say, never count upon +that; count upon all else that I can do for you, and forgive me when I +advise harshly or censure coldly; ascribe this to my interest in your +career. Moreover, before decision becomes irrevocable, I wish you to +know practically all that is disagreeable or even humiliating in the +first subordinate steps of him who, without wealth or station, would rise +in public life. I will not consider your choice settled till the end of +a year at least,--your name will be kept on the college books till then; +if on experience you should prefer to return to Oxford, and pursue the +slower but surer path to independence and distinction, you can. And now +give me your hand, Mr. Leslie, in sign that you forgive my bluntness: it +is time to dress." + +Randal, with his face still averted, extended his hand. Mr. Egerton held +it a moment, then dropping it, left the room. Randal turned as the door +closed; and there was in his dark face a power of sinister passion, that +justified all Harley's warnings. His lips moved, but not audibly; then +as if struck by a sudden thought, he followed Egerton into the hall. + +"Sir," said he, "I forgot to say, that on returning from Maida Hill, +I took shelter from the rain under a covered passage, and there I met +unexpectedly with your nephew, Frank Hazeldean." + +"Ah!" said Egerton, indifferently, "a fine young man; in the Guards. +It is a pity that my brother has such antiquated political notions; +he should put his son into parliament, and under my guidance; I could +push him. Well, and what said Frank?" + +"He invited me to call on him. I remember that you once rather cautioned +me against too intimate an acquaintance with those who have not got their +fortunes to make." + +"Because they are idle, and idleness is contagious. Right,--better not +to be too intimate with a young Guardsman." + +"Then you would not have me call on him, sir? We were rather friends +at Eton; and if I wholly reject his overtures, might he not think that +you--" + +"I!" interrupted Egerton. "Ah, true; my brother might think I bore him a +grudge; absurd. Call then, and ask the young man here. Yet still, I do +not advise intimacy." Egerton turned into his dressing-room. "Sir," +said his valet, who was in waiting, "Mr. Levy is here,--he says by +appointment; and Mr. Grinders is also just come from the country." + +"Tell Mr. Grinders to come in first," said Egerton, seating himself. +"You need not wait; I can dress without you. Tell Mr. Levy I will see +him in five minutes." + +Mr. Grinders was steward to Audley Egerton. + +Mr. Levy was a handsome man, who wore a camellia in his button-hole; +drove, in his cabriolet, a high-stepping horse that had cost L200; was +well known to young men of fashion, and considered by their fathers a +very dangerous acquaintance. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +As the company assembled in the drawing-rooms, Mr. Egerton introduced +Randal Leslie to his eminent friends in a way that greatly contrasted the +distant and admonitory manner which he had exhibited to him in private. +The presentation was made with that cordiality and that gracious respect, +by which those who are in station command notice for those who have their +station yet to win. + +"My dear lord, let me introduce to you a kinsman of my late wife's" (in a +whisper),--"the heir to the elder branch of her family. Stanmore, this +is Mr. Leslie, of whom I spoke to you. You, who were so distinguished at +Oxford, will not like him the worse for the prizes he gained there. +Duke, let me present to you Mr. Leslie. The duchess is angry with me for +deserting her balls; I shall hope to make my peace, by providing myself +with a younger and livelier substitute. Ah, Mr. Howard, here is a young +gentleman just fresh from Oxford, who will tell us all about the new sect +springing up there. He has not wasted his time on billiards and horses." + +Leslie was received with all that charming courtesy which is the /To +Kalon/ of an aristocracy. + +After dinner, conversation settled on politics. Randal listened with +attention, and in silence, till Egerton drew him gently out; just enough, +and no more,--just enough to make his intelligence evident, and without +subjecting him to the charge of laying down the law. Egerton knew how to +draw out young men,--a difficult art. It was one reason why he was so +peculiarly popular with the more rising members of his party. + +The party broke up early. + +"We are in time for Almack's," said Egerton, glancing at the clock, "and +I have a voucher for you; come." + +Randal followed his patron into the carriage. By the way Egerton thus +addressed him, + +"I shall introduce you to the principal leaders of society; know them and +study them: I do not advise you to attempt to do more,--that is, to +attempt to become the fashion. It is a very expensive ambition: some men +it helps, most men it ruins. On the whole, you have better cards in your +hands. Dance or not as it pleases you; don't flirt. If you flirt people +will inquire into your fortune,--an inquiry that will do you little good; +and flirting entangles a young man into marrying. That would never do. +Here we are." + +In two minutes more they were in the great ballroom, and Randal's eyes +were dazzled with the lights, the diamonds, the blaze of beauty. Audley +presented him in quick succession to some dozen ladies, and then +disappeared amidst the crowd. Randal was not at a loss: he was without +shyness; or if he had that disabling infirmity, he concealed it. He +answered the languid questions put to him with a certain spirit that kept +up talk, and left a favourable impression of his agreeable qualities. +But the lady with whom he got on the best was one who had no daughters +out, a handsome and witty woman of the world,--Lady Frederick Coniers. + +It is your first ball at Almack's then, Mr. Leslie?" + +"My first." + +"And you have not secured a partner? Shall I find you one? What do you +think of that pretty girl in pink?" + +"I see her--but I cannot think of her." + +"You are rather, perhaps, like a diplomatist in a new court, and your +first object is to know who is who." + +"I confess that on beginning to study the history of my own day I should +like to distinguish the portraits that illustrate the memoir." + +"Give me your arm, then, and we will come into the next room. We shall +see the different notabilites enter one by one, and observe without being +observed. This is the least I can do for a friend of Mr. Egerton's." + +"Mr. Egerton, then," said Randal,--as they threaded their way through the +space without the rope that protected the dancers,--"Mr. Egerton has had +the good fortune to win your esteem even for his friends, however +obscure?" + +"Why, to say truth, I think no one whom Mr. Egerton calls his friend need +long remain obscure, if he has the ambition to be otherwise; for Mr. +Egerton holds it a maxim never to forget a friend nor a service." + +"Ah, indeed!" said Randal, surprised. + +"And therefore," continued Lady Frederick, "as he passes through life, +friends gather round him. He will rise even higher yet. Gratitude, Mr. +Leslie, is a very good policy." + +"Hem," muttered Mr. Leslie. + +They had now gained the room where tea and bread and butter were the +homely refreshments to the habitues of what at that day was the most +exclusive assembly in London. They ensconced themselves in a corner by a +window, and Lady Frederick performed her task of cicerone with lively +ease, accompanying each notice of the various persons who passed +panoramically before them with sketch and anecdote, sometimes good- +natured, generally satirical, always graphic and amusing. + +By and by Frank Hazeldean, having on his arm a young lady of haughty air +and with high though delicate features, came to the tea-table. + +"The last new Guardsman," said Lady Frederick; "very handsome, and not +yet quite spoiled. But he has got into a dangerous set." + +RANDAL.--"The young lady with him is handsome enough to be dangerous." + +LADY FREDERICK (laughing).--"No danger for him there,--as yet at least. +Lady Mary (the Duke of Knaresborough's daughter) is only in her second +year. The first year, nothing under an earl; the second, nothing under a +baron. It will be full four years before she comes down to a commoner. +Mr. Hazeldean's danger is of another kind. He lives much with men who +are not exactly /mauvais ton/, but certainly not of the best taste. Yet +he is very young; he may extricate himself,--leaving half his fortune +behind him. What, he nods to you! You know him?" + +"Very well; he is nephew to Mr. Egerton." + +"Indeed! I did not know that. Hazeldean is a new name in London. I +heard his father was a plain country gentleman, of good fortune, but not +that he was related to Mr. Egerton." + +"Half-brother." + +"Will Mr. Egerton pay the young gentleman's debts? He has no sons +himself." + +RANDAL.---"Mr. Egerton's fortune comes from his wife, from my family, +--from a Leslie, not from a Hazeldean." Lady Frederick turned sharply, +looked at Randal's countenance with more attention than she had yet +vouchsafed to it, and tried to talk of the Leslies. Randal was very +short there. + +An hour afterwards, Randal, who had not danced, was still in the +refreshment-room, but Lady Frederick had long quitted him. He was +talking with some old Etonians who had recognized him, when there entered +a lady of very remarkable appearance, and a murmur passed through the +room as she appeared. + +She might be three or four and twenty. She was dressed in black velvet, +which contrasted with the alabaster whiteness of her throat and the clear +paleness of her complexion, while it set off the diamonds with which she +was profusely covered. Her hair was of the deepest jet, and worn simply +braided. Her eyes, too, were dark and brilliant, her features regular +and striking; but their expression, when in repose, was not prepossessing +to such as love modesty and softness in the looks of woman. But when she +spoke and smiled, there was so much spirit and vivacity in the +countenance, so much fascination in the smile, that all which might +before have marred the effect of her beauty strangely and suddenly +disappeared. + +"Who is that very handsome woman?" asked Randal. "An Italian,-- +a Marchesa something," said one of the Etonians. + +"Di Negra," suggested another, who had been abroad: "she is a widow; her +husband was of the great Genoese family of Negra,--a younger branch of +it." + +Several men now gathered thickly around the fair Italian. A few ladies +of the highest rank spoke to her, but with a more distant courtesy than +ladies of high rank usually show to foreigners of such quality as Madame +di Negra. Ladies of rank less elevated seemed rather shy of her,--that +might be from jealousy. As Randal gazed at the marchesa with more +admiration than any woman, perhaps, had before excited in him, he heard a +voice near him say, + +"Oh, Madame di Negra is resolved to settle amongst us, and marry an +Englishman." + +"If she can find one sufficiently courageous," returned a female voice. + +"Well, she's trying hard for Egerton, and he has courage enough for +anything." + +The female voice replied, with a laugh, "Mr Egerton knows the world too +well, and has resisted too many temptations to be--" + +"Hush! there he is." + +Egerton came into the room with his usual firm step and erect mien. +Randal observed that a quick glance was exchanged between him and the +marchesa; but the minister passed her by with a bow. + +Still Randal watched, and, ten minutes afterwards, Egerton and the +marchesa were seated apart in the very same convenient nook that Randal +and Lady Frederick had occupied an hour or so before. + +"Is this the reason why Mr. Egerton so insultingly warns me against +counting on his fortune?" muttered Randal. "Does he mean to marry +again?" + +Unjust suspicion!--for, at that moment, these were the words that Audley +Egerton was dropping forth from his lips of bronze, + +"Nay, dear madam, do not ascribe to my frank admiration more gallantry +than it merits. Your conversation charms me, your beauty delights me; +your society is as a holiday that I look forward to in the fatigues of my +life. But I have done with love, and I shall never marry again." + +"You almost pique me into trying to win, in order to reject you," said +the Italian, with a flash from her bright eyes. + +"I defy even you," answered Audley, with his cold hard smile. "But to +return to the point. You have more influence, at least, over this subtle +ambassador; and the secret we speak of I rely on you to obtain me. Ah, +Madam, let us rest friends. You see I have conquered the unjust +prejudices against you; you are received and feted everywhere, as becomes +your birth and your attractions. Rely on me ever, as I on you. But I +shall excite too much envy if I stay here longer, and am vain enough to +think that I may injure you if I provoke the gossip of the ill-natured. +As the avowed friend, I can serve you; as the supposed lover, No--" +Audley rose as he said this, and, standing by the chair, added +carelessly, "--propos, the sum you do me the honour to borrow will +be paid to your bankers to-morrow." + +"A thousand thanks! my brother will hasten to repay you." + +Audley bowed. "Your brother, I hope, will repay me in person, not +before. When does he come?" + +"Oh, he has again postponed his visit to London; he is so much needed in +Vienna. But while we are talking of him, allow me to ask if your friend, +Lord L'Estrange, is indeed still so bitter against that poor brother of +mine?" + +"Still the same." + +"It is shameful!" cried the Italian, with warmth; "what has my brother +ever done to him that he should actually intrigue against the count in +his own court?" + +"Intrigue! I think you wrong Lord L'Estrange; he but represented what he +believed to be the truth, in defence of a ruined exile." + +"And you will not tell me where that exile is, or if his daughter still +lives?" + +"My dear marchesa, I have called you friend, therefore I will not aid +L'Estrange to injure you or yours. But I call L'Estrange a friend also; +and I cannot violate the trust that--" Audley stopped short, and bit his +lip. "You understand me," he resumed, with a more genial smile than +usual; and he took his leave. + +The Italian's brows met as her eye followed him; then, as she too rose, +that eye encountered Randal's. + +"That young man has the eye of an Italian," said the marchesa to herself, +as she passed by him into the ballroom. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +Leonard and Helen settled themselves in two little chambers in a small +lane. The neighbourhood was dull enough, the accommodation humble; but +their landlady had a smile. That was the reason, perhaps, why Helen +chose the lodgings: a smile is not always found on the face of a landlady +when the lodger is poor. And out of their windows they caught sight of a +green tree, an elm, that grew up fair and tall in a carpenter's yard at +the rear. That tree was like another smile to the place. They saw the +birds come and go to its shelter; and they even heard, when a breeze +arose, the pleasant murmur of its boughs. + +Leonard went the same evening to Captain Digby's old lodgings, but he +could learn there no intelligence of friends or protectors for Helen. +The people were rude and surly, and said that the captain still owed them +L1 17s. The claim, however, seemed very disputable, and was stoutly +denied by Helen. The next morning Leonard set out in search of Dr. +Morgan. He thought his best plan was to inquire the address of the +doctor at the nearest chemist's, and the chemist civilly looked into the +"Court Guide," and referred him to a house in Bulstrode Street, +Manchester Square. To this street Leonard contrived to find his way, +much marvelling at the meanness of London: Screwstown seemed to him the +handsomer town of the two. + +A shabby man-servant opened the door, and Leonard remarked that the +narrow passage was choked with boxes, trunks, and various articles of +furniture. He was shown into a small room containing a very large round +table, whereon were sundry works on homoeopathy, Parry's "Cymbrian +Plutarch," Davies's "Celtic Researches," and a Sunday news paper. An +engraved portrait of the illustrious Hahnemann occupied the place of +honour over the chimneypiece. In a few minutes the door to an inner room +opened, and Dr. Morgan appeared, and said politely, "Come in, sir." + +The doctor seated himself at a desk, looked hastily at Leonard, and then +at a great chronometer lying on the table. "My time's short, sir,--going +abroad: and now that I am going, patients flock to me. Too late. London +will repent its apathy. Let it!" + +The doctor paused majestically, and not remarking on Leonard's face the +consternation he had anticipated, he repeated peevishly, "I am going +abroad, sir, but I will make a synopsis of your case, and leave it to my +successor. Hum! + +"Hair chestnut; eyes--what colour? Look this way,--blue, dark blue. +Hem! Constitution nervous. What are the symptoms?" + +"Sir," began Leonard, "a little girl--" + +DR. MORGAN (impatiently).--"Little girl; never mind the history of your +sufferings; stick to the symptoms,--stick to the symptoms." + +LEONARD.--"YOU mistake me, Doctor, I have nothing the matter with me. A +little girl--" + +DR. MORGAN.--"Girl again! I understand! it is she who is ill. Shall I +go to her? She must describe her own symptoms,--I can't judge from your +talk. You'll be telling me she has consumption, or dyspepsia, or some +such disease that don't exist: mere allopathic inventions,--symptoms, +sir, symptoms." + +LEONARD (forcing his way).--"You attended her poor father, Captain Digby, +when he was taken ill in the coach with you. He is dead, and his child +is an orphan." + +DR. MORGAN (fumbling in his medical pocket-book).--"Orphan! nothing for +orphans, especially if inconsolable, like aconite and chamomilla." + + [It may be necessary to observe that bomoeopathy professes to deal + with our moral affections as well as with our physical maladies, and + has a globule for every sorrow.] + +With some difficulty Leonard succeeded in bringing Helen to the +recollection of the homoeopathist, stating how he came in charge of her, +and why he sought Dr. Morgan. + +The doctor was much moved. + +"But, really," said he, after a pause, "I don't see how I can help the +poor child. I know nothing of her relations. This Lord Les--whatever +his name is--I know of no lords in London. I knew lords, and physicked +them too, when I was a blundering allopathist. There was the Earl of +Lansmere,--has had many a blue pill from me, sinner that I was. His son +was wiser; never would take physic. Very clever boy was Lord +L'Estrange--" + +"Lord L'Estrange! that name begins with Les--" + +"Stuff! He's always abroad,--shows his sense. I'm going abroad too. +No development for science in this horrid city,--full of prejudices, +sir, and given up to the most barbarous allopathical and phlebotomical +propensities. I am going to the land of Hahnemann, sir,--sold my good- +will, lease, and furniture, and have bought in on the Rhine. Natural +life there, sir,--homeeopathy needs nature: dine at one o'clock, get up +at four, tea little known, and science appreciated. But I forget. Cott! +what can I do for the orphan?" + +"Well, sir," said Leonard, rising, "Heaven will give me strength to +support her." + +The doctor looked at the young man attentively. "And yet," said he, in a +gentler voice, "you, young man, are, by your account, a perfect stranger +to her, or were so when you undertook to bring her to London. You have a +good heart, always keep it. Very healthy thing, sir, a good heart,--that +is, when not carried to excess. But you have friends of your own in +town?" + +LEONARD.--"Not yet, sir; I hope to make them." + +DOCTOR.--"Pless me, you do? How?--I can't make any." + +Leonard coloured and hung his'head. He longed to say, "Authors find +friends in their readers,--I am going to be an author." But he felt that +the reply would savour of presumption, and held his tongue. + +The doctor continued to examine him, and with friendly interest. "You +say you walked up to London: was that from choice or economy?" + +LEONARD.--"Both, sir." + +DOCTOR.--"Sit down again, and let us talk. I can give you a quarter of +an hour, and I'll see if I can help either of you, provided you tell me +all the symptoms,--I mean all the particulars." + +Then, with that peculiar adroitness which belongs to experience in the +medical profession, Dr. Morgan, who was really an acute and able man, +proceeded to put his questions, and soon extracted from Leonard the boy's +history and hopes. But when the doctor, in admiration at a simplicity +which contrasted so evident an intelligence, finally asked him his name +and connections, and Leonard told them, the homoeopathist actually +started. "Leonard Fairfield, grandson of my old friend, John Avenel of +Lansmere! I must shake you by the hand. Brought up by Mrs. Fairfield!-- + +"Ah, now I look, strong family likeness,--very strong" + +The tears stood in the doctor's eyes. "Poor Nora!" said he. + +"Nora! Did you know my aunt?" + +"Your aunt! Ah! ah! yes, yes! Poor Nora! she died almost in these +arms,--so young, so beautiful. I remember it as if yesterday." + +The doctor brushed his hand across his eyes, and swallowed a globule; and +before the boy knew what he was about, had, in his benevolence, thrust +another between Leonard's quivering lips. + +A knock was heard at the door. + +"Ha! that 's my great patient," cried the doctor, recovering his self- +possession,--"must see him. A chronic case, excellent patient,--tic, +sir, tic. Puzzling and interesting. If I could take that tic with me, I +should ask nothing more from Heaven. Call again on Monday; I may have +something to tell you then as to yourself. The little girl can't stay +with you,--wrong and nonsensical! I will see after her. Leave me +your address,--write it here. I think I know a lady who will +take charge of her. Good-by. Monday next, ten o'clock." With this, the +doctor thrust out Leonard, and ushered in his grand patient, whom he was +very anxious to take with him to the banks of the Rhine. + +Leonard had now only to discover the nobleman whose name had been so +vaguely uttered by poor Captain Digby. He had again recourse to the +"Court Guide;" and finding the address of two or three lords the first +syllable of whose titles seemed similar to that repeated to him, and all +living pretty near to each other, in the regions of Mayfair, he +ascertained his way to that quarter, and, exercising his mother-wit, +inquired at the neighbouring shops as to the personal appearance of these +noblemen. Out of consideration for his rusticity, he got very civil and +clear answers; but none of the lords in question corresponded with the +description given by Helen. One was old, another was exceedingly +corpulent, a third was bedridden,--none of them was known to keep a great +dog. It is needless to say that the name of L'Estrange (no habitant of +London) was not in the "Court Guide." And Dr. Morgan's assertion that +that person was always abroad unluckily dismissed from Leonard's mind the +name the homoeopathist had so casually mentioned. But Helen was not +disappointed when her young protector returned late in the day, and told +her of his ill-success. Poor child! she was so pleased in her heart not +to be separated from her new brother; and Leonard was touched to see how +she had contrived, in his absence, to give a certain comfort and cheerful +grace to the bare room devoted to himself. She had arranged his few +books and papers so neatly, near the window, in sight of the one green +elm. She had coaxed the smiling landlady out of one or two extra +articles of furniture, especially a walnut-tree bureau, and some odds and +ends of ribbon, with which last she had looped up the curtains. Even the +old rush-bottom chairs had a strange air of elegance, from the mode in +which they were placed. The fairies had given sweet Helen the art that +adorns a home, and brings out a smile from the dingiest corner of hut and +attic. + +Leonard wondered and praised. He kissed his blushing ministrant +gratefully, and they sat down in joy to their abstemious meal; when +suddenly his face was overclouded,--there shot through him the +remembrance of Dr. Morgan's words, "The little girl can't stay with you, +--wrong and nonsensical. I think I know a lady who will take charge of +her." + +"Ah," cried Leonard, sorrowfully, "how could I forget?" And he told Helen +what grieved him. Helen at first exclaimed that she would not go. +Leonard, rejoiced, then began to talk as usual of his great prospects; +and, hastily finishing his meal, as if there were no time to lose, sat +down at once to his papers. Then Helen contemplated him sadly, as he +bent over his delightful work. And when, lifting his radiant eyes from +his manuscripts, he exclaimed, "No, no, you shall not go. This must +succeed,--and we shall live together in some pretty cottage, where we can +see more than one tree,"--then Helen sighed, and did not answer this +time, "No, I will not go." + +Shortly after she stole from the room, and into her own; and there, +kneeling down, she prayed, and her prayer was somewhat this, "Guard me +against my own selfish heart; may I never be a burden to him who has +shielded me." + +Perhaps as the Creator looks down on this world, whose wondrous beauty +beams on us more and more, in proportion as our science would take it +from poetry into law,--perhaps He beholds nothing so beautiful as the +pure heart of a simple loving child. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +Leonard went out the next day with his precious manuscripts. He had read +sufficient of modern literature to know the names of the principal London +publishers; and to these he took his way with a bold step, though a +beating heart. + +That day he was out longer than the last; and when he returned, and came +into the little room, Helen uttered a cry, for she scarcely recognized +him,--there was on his face so deep, so silent, and so concentrated a +despondency. He sat down listlessly, and did not kiss her this time, as +she stole towards him. He felt so humbled. He was a king deposed. + +He take charge of another life! He! + +She coaxed him at last into communicating his day's chronicle. The +reader beforehand knows too well what it must be to need detailed +repetition. Most of the publishers had absolutely refused to look at his +manuscripts; one or two had good-naturedly glanced over and returned them +at once with a civil word or two of flat rejection. One publisher alone +--himself a man of letters, and who in youth had gone through the same +bitter process of disillusion that now awaited the village genius-- +volunteered some kindly though stern explanation and counsel to the +unhappy boy. This gentleman read a portion of Leonard's principal poem +with attention, and even with frank admiration. He could appreciate the +rare promise that it manifested. He sympathized with the boy's history, +and even with his hopes; and then he said, in bidding him farewell, + +"If I publish this poem for you, speaking as a trader, I shall be a +considerable loser. Did I publish all I admire, out of sympathy with the +author, I should be a ruined man. But suppose that, impressed as I +really am with the evidence of no common poetic gifts in this manuscript, +I publish it, not as a trader, but a lover of literature, I shall in +reality, I fear, render you a great disservice, and perhaps unfit your +whole life for the exertions on which you must rely for independence." + +"How, sir?" cried Leonard. "Not that I would ask you to injure yourself +for me," he added, with proud tears in his eyes. + +"How, my young friend? I will explain. There is enough talent in these +verses to induce very flattering reviews in some of the literary +journals. You will read these, find yourself proclaimed a poet, will cry +'I am on the road to fame.' You will come to me, 'And my poem, how does +it sell?' I shall point to some groaning shelf, and say, 'Not twenty +copies! The journals may praise, but the public will not buy it.' +'But you will have got a name,' you say. Yes, a name as a poet just +sufficiently known to make every man in practical business disinclined to +give fair trial to your talents in a single department of positive life; +none like to employ poets;--a name that will not put a penny in your +purse,--worse still, that will operate as a barrier against every escape +into the ways whereby men get to fortune. But having once tasted praise, +you will continue to sigh for it: you will perhaps never again get a +publisher to bring forth a poem, but you will hanker round the purlieus +of the Muses, scribble for periodicals, fall at last into a bookseller's +drudge. Profits will be so precarious and uncertain, that to avoid debt +may be impossible; then, you who now seem so ingenuous and so proud, will +sink deeper still into the literary mendicant, begging, borrowing--" + +"Never! never! never!" cried Leonard, veiling his face with his hands. + +"Such would have been my career," continued the publisher; "but I luckily +had a rich relative, a trader, whose calling I despised as a boy, who +kindly forgave my folly, bound me as an apprentice, and here I am; and +now I can afford to write books as well as sell them. + +"Young man, you must have respectable relations,--go by their advice and +counsel; cling fast to some positive calling. Be anything in this city +rather than poet by profession." + +"And how, sir, have there ever been poets? Had they other callings?" + +"Read their biography, and then--envy them!" + +Leonard was silent a moment; but lifting his head, answered loud and +quickly, "I have read their biography. True, their lot was poverty,-- +perhaps hunger. Sir, I--envy them!" + +"Poverty and hunger are small evils," answered the bookseller, with a +grave, kind smile. "There are worse,--debt and degradation, and-- +despair." + +"No, sir, no, you exaggerate; these last are not the lot of all poets." + +"Right, for most of our greatest poets had some private means of their +own. And for others--why, all who have put into a lottery have not drawn +blanks. But who could advise another man to set his whole hope of +fortune on the chance of a prize in a lottery? And such a lottery!" +groaned the publisher, glancing towards sheets and reams of dead authors, +lying, like lead, upon his shelves. + +Leonard clutched his manuscripts to his heart, and hurried away. + +"Yes," he muttered, as Helen clung to him, and tried to console,--"yes, +you were right: London is very vast, very strong, and very cruel;" and +his head sank lower and lower yet upon his bosom. + +The door was flung widely open, and in, unannounced, walked Dr. Morgan. + +The child turned to him, and at the sight of his face she remembered her +father; and the tears that for Leonard's sake she had been trying to +suppress found way. + +The good doctor soon gained all the confidence of these two young hearts; +and after listening to Leonard's story of his paradise lost in a day, he +patted him on the shoulder and said, "Well, you will call on me on +Monday, and we will see. Meanwhile, borrow these of me!"--and he tried +to slip three sovereigns into the boy's hand. Leonard was indignant. +The bookseller's warning flashed on him. Mendicancy! Oh, no, he had not +yet come to that! He was almost rude and savage in his rejection; and +the doctor did not like him the less for it. + +"You are an obstinate mule," said the homoeopathist, reluctantly putting +up his sovereigns. "Will you work at something practical and prosy, and +let the poetry rest a while?" + +"Yes," said Leonard, doggedly. "I will work." + +"Very well, then. I know an honest bookseller, and he shall give you +some employment; and meanwhile, at all events, you will be among books, +and that will be some comfort." + +Leonard's eyes brightened. "A great comfort, sir." He pressed the hand +he had before put aside to his grateful heart. + +"But," resumed the doctor, seriously, "you really feel a strong +predisposition to make verses?" + +"I did, sir." + +"Very bad symptom indeed, and must be stopped before a relapse! Here, +I have cured three prophets and ten poets with this novel specific." + +While thus speaking he had got out his book and a globule. "Agaricus +muscarius dissolved in a tumbler of distilled water,--teaspoonful +whenever the fit comes on. Sir, it would have cured Milton himself." + +"And now for you, my child," turning to Helen, "I have found a lady who +will be very kind to you. Not a menial situation. She wants some one to +read to her and tend on her; she is old and has no children. She wants a +companion, and prefers a girl of your age to one older. Will this suit +you?" + +Leonard walked away. + +Helen got close to the doctor's ear, and whispered, "No, I cannot leave +him now,--he is so sad." + +"Cott!" grunted the doctor, "you two must have been reading 'Paul and +Virginia.' If I could but stay in England, I would try what ignatia +would do in this case,--interesting experiment! Listen to me, little +girl, and go out of the room, you, sir." + +Leonard, averting his face, obeyed. Helen made an involuntary step after +him; the doctor detained and drew her on his knee. + +"What's your Christian name?--I forget." + +"Helen." + +"Helen, listen. In a year or two you will be a young woman, and it would +be very wrong then to live alone with that young man. Meanwhile you have +no right to cripple all his energies. He must not have you leaning on +his right arm,--you would weigh it down. I am going away, and when I am +gone there will be no one to help you, if you reject the friend I offer +you. Do as I tell you, for a little girl so peculiarly susceptible (a +thorough pulsatilla constitution) cannot be obstinate and egotistical." + +"Let me see him cared for and happy, sir," said she, firmly, "and I will +go where you wish." + +"He shall be so; and to-morrow, while he is out, I will come and fetch +you. Nothing so painful as leave-taking, shakes the nervous system, and +is a mere waste of the animal economy." + +Helen sobbed aloud; then, writhing from the doctor, she exclaimed, "But +he may know where I am? We may see each other sometimes? Ah, sir, it +was at my father's grave that we first met, and I think Heaven sent him +to me. Do not part us forever." + +"I should have a heart of stone if I did," cried the doctor, vehemently; +"and Miss Starke shall let him come and visit you once a week. I'll give +her something to make her. She is naturally indifferent to others. I +will alter her whole constitution, and melt her into sympathy--with +rhododendron and arsenic!" + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +Before he went the doctor wrote a line to "Mr. Prickett, Bookseller, +Holborn," and told Leonard to take it the next morning, as addressed. +"I will call on Prickett myself tonight and prepare him for your visit. +But I hope and trust you will only have to stay there a few days." + +He then turned the conversation, to communicate his plans for Helen. +Miss Starke lived at Highgate,--a worthy woman, stiff and prim, as old +maids sometimes are; but just the place for a little girl like Helen, and +Leonard should certainly be allowed to call and see her. + +Leonard listened and made no opposition,--now that his day-dream was +dispelled, he had no right to pretend to be Helen's protector. He could +have prayed her to share his wealth and his fame; his penury and his +drudgery--no. + +It was a very sorrowful evening,--that between the adventurer and the +child. They sat up late, till their candle had burned down to the +socket; neither did they talk much; but his hand clasped hers all the +time, and her head pillowed it self on his shoulder. I fear when they +parted it was not for sleep. + +And when Leonard went forth the next morning, Helen stood at the street +door watching him depart--slowly, slowly. No doubt, in that humble lane +there were many sad hearts; but no heart so heavy as that of the still, +quiet child, when the form she had watched was to be seen no more, and, +still standing on the desolate threshold, she gazed into space, and all +was vacant. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +Mr. Prickett was a believer in homeeopathy, and declared, to the +indignation of all the apothecaries round Holborn, that he had been cured +of a chronic rheumatism by Dr. Morgan. The good doctor had, as he +promised, seen Mr. Prickett when he left Leonard, and asked him as a +favour to find some light occupation for the boy, that would serve as an +excuse for a modest weekly salary. "It will not be for long," said the +doctor: "his relations are respectable and well off. I will write to his +grandparents, and in a few days I hope to relieve you of the charge. Of +course, if you don't want him, I will repay what he costs meanwhile." + +Mr. Prickett, thus prepared for Leonard, received him very graciously; +and, after a few questions, said Leonard was just the person he wanted to +assist him in cataloguing his books, and offered him most handsomely L1 a +week for the task. + +Plunged at once into a world of books vaster than he had ever before won +admission to, that old divine dream of knowledge, out of which poetry had +sprung, returned to the village student at the very sight of the +venerable volumes. The collection of Mr. Prickett was, however, in +reality by no means large; but it comprised not only the ordinary +standard works, but several curious and rare ones. And Leonard paused in +making the catalogue, and took many a hasty snatch of the contents of +each tome, as it passed through his hands. The bookseller, who was an +enthusiast for old books, was pleased to see a kindred feeling (which his +shop-boy had never exhibited) in his new assistant; and he talked about +rare editions and scarce copies, and initiated Leonard into many of the +mysteries of the bibliographist. + +Nothing could be more dark and dingy than the shop. There was a booth +outside, containing cheap books and odd volumes, round which there was +always an attentive group; within, a gas-lamp burned night and day. + +But time passed quickly to Leonard. He missed not the green fields, he +forgot his disappointments, he ceased to remember even Helen. O strange +passion of knowledge! nothing like thee for strength and devotion! + +Mr. Prickett was a bachelor, and asked Leonard to dine with him on a cold +shoulder of mutton. During dinner the shop-boy kept the shop, and Mr. +Prickett was really pleasant, as well as loquacious. He took a liking to +Leonard, and Leonard told him his adventures with the publishers, at +which Mr. Prickett rubbed his hands and laughed, as at a capital joke. +"Oh, give up poetry, and stick to a shop," cried he; "and to cure you +forever of the mad whim to be author, I'll just lend you the 'Life and +Works of Chatterton.' You may take it home with you and read before you +go to bed. You'll come back quite a new man to-morrow." + +Not till night, when the shop was closed, did Leonard return to his +lodging. And when he entered the room, he was struck to the soul by the +silence, by the void. Helen was gone! + +There was a rose-tree in its pot on the table at which he wrote, and by +it a scrap of paper, on which was written, + + DEAR, dear brother Leonard, God bless you. I will let you know when + we can meet again. Take care of this rose, Brother, and don't + forget poor + + HELEN. + +Over the word "forget" there was a big round blistered spot that nearly +effaced the word. + +Leonard leaned his face on his hands, and for the first time in his life +he felt what solitude really is. He could not stay long in the room. He +walked out again, and wandered objectless to and fro the streets. He +passed that stiller and humbler neighbourhood, he mixed with the throng +that swarmed in the more populous thoroughfares. Hundreds and thousands +passed him by, and still--still such solitude. + +He came back, lighted his candle, and resolutely drew forth the +"Chatterton" which the bookseller had lent him. It was an old edition, +in one thick volume. It had evidently belonged to some contemporary of +the poet's,--apparently an inhabitant of Bristol,--some one who had +gathered up many anecdotes respecting Chatterton's habits, and who +appeared even to have seen him, nay, been in his company; for the book +was interleaved, and the leaves covered with notes and remarks, in a +stiff clear hand,--all evincing personal knowledge of the mournful +immortal dead. At first, Leonard read with an effort; then the strange +and fierce spell of that dread life seized upon him,--seized with pain +and gloom and terror,--this boy dying by his own hand, about the age +Leonard had attained himself. This wondrous boy, of a genius beyond all +comparison the greatest that ever yet was developed and extinguished at +the age of eighteen,--self-taught, self-struggling, self-immolated. +Nothing in literature like that life and that death! + +With intense interest Leonard perused the tale of the brilliant +imposture, which had been so harshly and so absurdly construed into the +crime of a forgery, and which was (if not wholly innocent) so akin to the +literary devices always in other cases viewed with indulgence, and +exhibiting, in this, intellectual qualities in themselves so amazing, +--such patience, such forethought, such labour, such courage, such +ingenuity,--the qualities that, well directed, make men great, not only +in books, but action. And, turning from the history of the imposture to +the poems themselves, the young reader bent before their beauty, +literally awed and breathless. How this strange Bristol boy tamed and +mastered his rude and motley materials into a music that comprehended +every tune and key, from the simplest to the sublimest! He turned back +to the biography; be read on; he saw the proud, daring, mournful spirit +alone in the Great City, like himself. He followed its dismal career, he +saw it falling with bruised and soiled wings into the mire. He turned +again to the later works, wrung forth as tasks for bread,--the satires +without moral grandeur, the politics without honest faith. He shuddered +and sickened as he read. True, even here his poet mind appreciated (what +perhaps only poets can) the divine fire that burned fitfully through that +meaner and more sordid fuel,--he still traced in those crude, hasty, +bitter offerings to dire Necessity the hand of the young giant who had +built up the stately verse of Rowley. But alas! how different from that +"mighty line." How all serenity and joy had fled from these later +exercises of art degraded into journey-work! Then rapidly came on the +catastrophe,--the closed doors, the poison, the suicide, the manuscripts +torn by the hands of despairing wrath, and strewed round the corpse upon +the funereal floors. It was terrible! The spectre of the Titan boy (as +described in the notes written on the margin), with his haughty brow, his +cynic smile, his lustrous eyes, haunted all the night the baffled and +solitary child of song. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +It will often happen that what ought to turn the human mind from some +peculiar tendency produces the opposite effect. One would think that the +perusal in the newspaper of some crime and capital punishment would warn +away all who had ever meditated the crime, or dreaded the chance of +detection. Yet it is well known to us that many a criminal is made by +pondering over the fate of some predecessor in guilt. There is a +fascination in the Dark and Forbidden, which, strange to say, is only +lost in fiction. No man is more inclined to murder his nephews, or +stifle his wife, after reading "Richard the Third" or "Othello." It is +the reality that is necessary to constitute the danger of contagion. +Now, it was this reality in the fate and life and crowning suicide of +Chatterton that forced itself upon Leonard's thoughts, and sat there like +a visible evil thing, gathering evil like cloud around it. There was +much in the dead poet's character, his trials, and his doom, that stood +out to Leonard like a bold and colossal shadow of himself and his fate. +Alas! the book seller, in one respect, had said truly. Leonard came back +to him the next day a new man; and it seemed even to himself as if he had +lost a good angel in losing Helen. "Oh, that she had been by my side!" +thought he. "Oh, that I could have felt the touch of her confiding hand; +that, looking up from the scathed and dreary ruin of this life, that had +sublimely lifted itself from the plain, and sought to tower aloft from a +deluge, her mild look had spoken to me of innocent, humble, unaspiring +childhood! Ah! If indeed I were still necessary to her,--still the sole +guardian and protector,--then could I say to myself; 'Thou must not +despair and die! Thou hast her to live and to strive for.' But no, no! +Only this vast and terrible London,--the solitude of the dreary garret, +and those lustrous eyes, glaring alike through the throng and through the +solitude." + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +On the following Monday Dr. Morgan's shabby man-servant opened the door +to a young man in whom he did not at first remember a former visitor. A +few days before, embrowned with healthful travel, serene light in his +eye, simple trust on his careless lip, Leonard Fairfield had stood at +that threshold. Now again he stood there, pale and haggard, with a cheek +already hollowed into those deep anxious lines that speak of working +thoughts and sleepless nights; and a settled sullen gloom resting heavily +on his whole aspect. + +"I call by appointment," said the boy, testily, as the servant stood +irresolute. The man gave way. "Master is just gone out to a patient: +please to wait, sir;" and he showed him into the little parlour. In a +few moments, two other patients were admitted. These were women, and +they began talking very loud. They disturbed Leonard's unsocial +thoughts. He saw that the door into the doctor's receivingroom was half +open, and, ignorant of the etiquette which holds such penetralia as +sacred, he walked in to escape from the gossips. He threw himself into +the doctor's own wellworn chair, and muttered to himself, "Why did he +tell me to come? What new can he think of for me? And if a favour, +should I take it? He has given me the means of bread by work: that is +all I have a right to ask from him, from any man,--all I should accept." + +While thus soliloquizing, his eye fell on a letter lying open on the +table. He started. He recognized the handwriting,--the same as that of +the letter which had inclosed. L50 to his mother,--the letter of his +grandparents. He saw his own name: he saw something more,--words that +made his heart stand still, and his blood seem like ice in his veins. As +he thus stood aghast, a hand was laid on the letter, and a voice, in an +angry growl, muttered, "How dare you come into my room, and pe reading my +letters? Er-r-r!" + +Leonard placed his own hand on the doctor's firmly, and said, in a fierce +tone, "This letter relates to me, belongs to me, crushes me. I have seen +enough to know that. I demand to read all,--learn all." + +The doctor looked round, and seeing the door into the waiting-room still +open, kicked it to with his foot, and then said, under his breath, "What +have you read? Tell me the truth." + +"Two lines only, and I am called--I am called--" Leonard's frame shook +from head to foot, and the veins on his forehead swelled like cords. He +could not complete the sentence. It seemed as if an ocean was rolling up +through his brain, and roaring in his ears. The doctor saw at a glance +that there was physical danger in his state, and hastily and soothingly +answered, "Sit down, sit down; calm yourself; you shall know all,--read +all; drink this water;" and he poured into a tumbler of the pure liquid a +drop or two from a tiny phial. + +Leonard obeyed mechanically, for he was no longer able to stand. He +closed his eyes, and for a minute or two life seemed to pass from him; +then he recovered, and saw the good doctor's gaze fixed on him with great +compassion. He silently stretched forth his hand towards the letter. +"Wait a few moments," said the physician, judiciously, "and hear me +meanwhile. It is very unfortunate you should have seen a letter never +meant for your eye, and containing allusions to a secret you were never +to have known. But if I tell you more, will you promise me, on your word +of honour, that you will hold the confidence sacred from Mrs. Fairfield, +the Avenels,--from all? I myself am pledged to conceal a secret, which I +can only share with you on the same condition." + +"There is nothing," announced Leonard, indistinctly, and with a bitter +smile on his lip,--" nothing, it seems, that I should be proud to boast +of. Yes, I promise; the letter, the letter!" + +The doctor placed it in Leonard's right hand, and quietly slipped to the +wrist of the left his forefinger and thumb, as physicians are said to do +when a victim is stretched on the rack. "Pulse decreasing," he muttered; +"wonderful thing, aconite!" Meanwhile Leonard read as follows, faults in +spelling and all:-- + + DR. MORGAN + + SIR,--I received your favur duly, and am glad to hear that the pore + boy is safe and Well. But he has been behaving ill, and ungrateful + to my good son Richard, who is a credit to the whole Famuly and has + made himself a Gentleman and Was very kind and good to the boy, not + knowing who and What he is--God forbid! I don't want never to see + him again--the boy. Pore John was ill and Restless for days + afterwards. John is a pore cretur now, and has had paralyticks. + And he Talked of nothing but Nora--the boy's eyes were so like his + Mother's. I cannot, cannot see the Child of Shame. He can't cum + here--for our Lord's sake, sir, don't ask it--he can't, so + Respectable as we've always been!--and such disgrace! Base + born! base born! Keep him where he is, bind him prentis, I'll pay + anything for That. You says, sir, he's clever, and quick at + learning; so did Parson Dale, and wanted him to go to Collidge and + make a Figur,--then all would cum out. It would be my death, sir; I + could not sleep in my grave, sir. Nora, that we were all so proud + of. Sinful creturs that we are! Nora's good name that we've saved, + now gone, gone. And Richard, who is so grand, and who was so fond + of pore, pore Nora! He would not hold up his Head again. Don't let + him make a Figur in the world; let him be a tradesman, as we were + afore him,--any trade he takes to,--and not cross us no more while + he lives. Then I shall pray for him, and wish him happy. And have + not we had enuff of bringing up children to be above their birth? + Nora, that I used to say was like the first lady o' the land-oh, but + we were rightly punished! So now, sir, I leave all to you, and will + Pay all you want for the boy. And be sure that the secret's kept. + For we have never heard from the father, and, at leest, no one knows + that Nora has a, living son but I and my daughter Jane, and Parson + Dale and you--and you Two are good Gentlemen--and Jane will keep her + word, and I am old, and shall be in my grave Soon, but I hope it + won't be while pore John needs me. What could he do without me? + And if that got wind, it would kill me straght, sir. Pore John is a + helpless cretur, God bless him. So no more from your servant in all + dooty, + + M. AVENEL. + + +Leonard laid down this letter very calmly, and, except by a slight +heaving at his breast, and a deathlike whiteness of his lips, the +emotions he felt were undetected. And it is a proof how much exquisite +goodness there was in his heart that the first words he spoke were, +"Thank Heaven!" + +The doctor did not expect that thanksgiving, and he was so startled that +he exclaimed, "For what?" + +"I have nothing to pity or excuse in the woman I knew and honoured as a +mother. I am not her son--her-" He stopped short. + +"No: but don't be hard on your true mother,--poor Nora!" + +Leonard staggered, and then burst into a sudden paroxysm of tears. + +"Oh, my own mother! my dead mother! Thou for whom I felt so mysterious +a love,--thou from whom I took this poet soul! pardon me, pardon me! +Hard on thee! Would that thou wert living yet, that I might comfort +thee! What thou must have suffered!" + +These words were sobbed forth in broken gasps from the depth of his +heart. Then he caught up the letter again, and his thoughts were changed +as his eyes fell upon the writer's shame and fear, as it were, of his +very existence. All his native haughtiness returned to him. His crest +rose, his tears dried. "Tell her," he said, with astern, unfaltering +voice, "tell Mrs. Avenel that she is obeyed; that I will never seek her +roof, never cross her path, never disgrace her wealthy son. But tell +her, also, that I will choose my own way in life,--that I will not take +from her a bribe for concealment. Tell her that I am nameless, and will +yet make a name." + +A name! Was this but an idle boast, or was it one of those flashes of +conviction which are never belied, lighting up our future for one lurid +instant, and then fading into darkness? + +"I do not doubt it, my prave poy," said Dr. Morgan, growing exceedingly +Welsh in his excitement; "and perhaps you may find a father, who--" + +"Father! who is he, what is he? He lives, then! But he has deserted +me,--he must have betrayed her! I need him not. The law gives me no +father." + +The last words were said with a return of bitter anguish: then, in a +calmer tone, he resumed, "But I should know who he is--as another one +whose path I may not cross." + +Dr. Morgan looked embarrassed, and paused in deliberation. "Nay," said +he, at length, "as you know so much, it is surely best that you should +know all." + +The doctor then proceeded to detail, with some circumlocution, what we +will here repeat from his account more succinctly. + +Nora Avenel, while yet very young, left her native village, or rather the +house of Lady Lansinere, by whom she had been educated and brought up, in +order to accept the place of companion to a lady in London. One evening +she suddenly presented herself at her father's house, and at the first +sight of her mother's face she fell down insensible. She was carried to +bed. Dr. Morgan (then the chief medical practitioner of the town) was +sent for. That night Leonard came into the world, and his mother died. +She never recovered her senses, never spoke intelligibly from the time +she entered the house. "And never, therefore, named your father," said +Dr. Morgan. "We knew not who he was." + +"And how," cried Leonard, fiercely,--"how have they dared to slander this +dead mother? How knew they that I--was--was--was not the child of +wedlock?" + +"There was no wedding-ring on Nora's finger, never any rumour of her +marriage; her strange and sudden appearance at her father's house; her +emotions on entrance, so unlike those natural to a wife returning to a +parent's home,--these are all the evidence against her. But Mrs. Avenel +deemed them strong, and so did I. You have a right to think we judged +too harshly,--perhaps we did." + +"And no inquiries were ever made?" said Leonard, mournfully, and after a +long silence,--"no inquiries to learn who was the father of the +motherless child?" + +"Inquiries! Mrs. Avenel would have died first. Your grandmother's +nature is very rigid. Had she come from princes, from Cadwallader +himself," said the Welshman, "she could not more have shrunk from the +thought of dishonour. Even over her dead child, the child she had loved +the best, she thought but how to save that child's name and memory from +suspicion. There was luckily no servant in the house, only Mark +Fairfield and his wife (Nora's sister): they had arrived the same day on +a visit. + +"Mrs. Fairfield was nursing her own infant two or three months old; she +took charge of you; Nora was buried and the secret kept. None out of the +family knew of it but myself and the curate of the town,--Mr. Dale. The +day after your birth, Mrs. Fairfield, to prevent discovery, moved to a +village at some distance. There her child died; and when she returned to +Hazeldean, where her husband was settled, you passed as the son she had +lost. Mark, I know, was as a father to you, for he had loved Nora: they +had been children together." + +"And she came to London,--London is strong and cruel," muttered Leonard. +"She was friendless and deceived. I see all,--I desire to know no more. +This father--he must in deed have been like those whom I have read of in +books. To love, to wrong her,--that I can conceive; but then to leave, +to abandon; no visit to her grave, no remorse, no search for his own +child. Well, well; Mrs. Avenel was right. Let us think of him no more." + +The man-servant knocked at the door, and then put in his head. "Sir, the +ladies are getting very impatient, and say they'll go." + +"Sir," said Leonard, with a strange calm return to the things about him, +"I ask your pardon for taking up your time so long. I go now. I will +never mention to my moth--I mean to Mrs. Fairfield--what I have learned, +nor to any one. I will work my way somehow. If Mr. Prickett will keep +me, I will stay with him at present; but I repeat, I cannot take Mrs. +Avenel's money and be bound apprentice. Sir, you have been good and +patient with me,--Heaven reward you." + +The doctor was too moved to answer. He wrung Leonard's hand, and in +another minute the door closed upon the nameless boy. He stood alone in +the streets of London; and the sun flashed on him, red and menacing, like +the eye of a foe! + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +Leonard did not appear at the shop of Mr. Prickett that day. Needless it +is to say where he wandered, what he suffered, what thought, what felt. +All within was storm. Late at night he returned to his solitary lodging. +On his table, neglected since the morning, was Helen's rose-tree. It +looked parched and fading. His heart smote him: he watered the poor +plant,--perhaps with his tears. + +Meanwhile Dr. Morgan, after some debate with himself whether or not to +apprise Mrs. Avenel of Leonard's discovery and message, resolved to spare +her an uneasiness and alarm that might be dangerous to her health, and +unnecessary in itself. He replied shortly, that she need not fear +Leonard's coming to her house; that he was disinclined to bind himself an +apprentice, but that he was provided for at present; and in a few weeks, +when Dr. Morgan heard more of him through the tradesman by whom he was +employed, the doctor would write to her from Germany. He then went to +Mr. Prickett's, told the willing bookseller to keep the young man for the +present,--to be kind to him, watch over his habits and conduct, and +report to the doctor in his new home, on the Rhine, what avocation he +thought Leonard would be best suited for, and most inclined to adopt. +The charitable Welshman divided with the bookseller the salary given to +Leonard, and left a quarter of his moiety in advance. It is true that he +knew he should be repaid on applying to Mrs. Avenel; but being a man of +independent spirit himself, he so sympathized with Leonard's present +feelings, that he felt as if he should degrade the boy did he maintain +him, even secretly, out of Mrs. Avenel's money,--money intended not to +raise, but keep him down in life. At the worst, it was a sum the doctor +could afford, and he had brought the boy into the world. Having thus, as +he thought, safely provided for his two young charges, Helen and Leonard, +the doctor then gave himself up to his final preparations for departure. +He left a short note for Leonard with Mr. Prickett, containing some brief +advice, some kind cheering; a postscript to the effect that he had not +communicated to Mrs. Avenel the information Leonard had acquired, and +that it were best to leave her in that ignorance; and six small powders +to be dissolved in water, and a teaspoonful every fourth hour,-- +"Sovereign against rage and sombre thoughts," wrote the doctor. + +By the evening of the next day Dr. Morgan, accompanied by his pet patient +with the chronic tic, whom he had talked into exile, was on the steamboat +on his way to Ostend. + +Leonard resumed his life at Mr. Prickett's; but the change in him did not +escape the bookseller. All his ingenuous simplicity had deserted him. +He was very distant and very taciturn; he seemed to have grown much +older. I shall not attempt to analyze metaphysically this change. By +the help of such words as Leonard may himself occasionally let fall, the +reader will dive into the boy's heart, and see how there the change had +worked, and is working still. The happy, dreamy peasant-genius gazing on +Glory with inebriate, undazzled eyes is no more. It is a man, suddenly +cut off from the old household holy ties,--conscious of great powers, and +confronted on all sides by barriers of iron, alone with hard Reality and +scornful London; and if he catches a glimpse of the lost Helicon, he +sees, where he saw the Muse, a pale melancholy spirit veiling its face in +shame,--the ghost of the mournful mother, whose child has no name, not +even the humblest, among the family of men. + +On the second evening after Dr. Morgan's departure, as Leonard was just +about to leave the shop, a customer stepped in with a book in his hand, +which he had snatched from the shop-boy, who was removing the volumes for +the night from the booth without. + +"Mr. Prickett, Mr. Prickett!" said the customer, "I am ashamed of you. +You presume to put upon this work, in two volumes, the sum of eight +shillings." + +Mr. Prickett stepped forth from the Cimmerian gloom of some recess, and +cried, "What! Mr. Burley, is that you? But for your voice, I should not +have known you." + +"Man is like a, book, Mr. Prickett; the commonalty only look to his +binding. I am better bound, it is very true." Leonard glanced towards +the speaker, who now stood under the gas-lamp, and thought he recognized +his face. He looked again. Yes; it was the perch-fisher whom he had met +on the banks of the Brent, and who had warned him of the lost fish and +the broken line. + +MR. BURLEY (continuing).--"But the 'Art of Thinking'!--you charge eight +shillings for the 'Art of Thinking.'" + +MR. PRICKETT.--"Cheap enough, Mr. Burley. A very clean copy." + +MR. BURLEY.--"Usurer! I sold it to you for three shillings. It is more +than one hundred and fifty per cent you propose to gain from my 'Art of +Thinking.'" + +MR. PRICKETT (stuttering and taken aback).--"You sold it to me! Ah, now +I remember. But it was more than three shillings I gave. You forget,-- +two glasses of brandy-and-water." + +MR. BURLEY.--"Hospitality, sir, is not to be priced. If you sell your +hospitality, you are not worthy to possess my 'Art of Thinking.' I +resume it. There are three shillings, and a shilling more for interest. +No; on second thoughts, instead of that shilling, I will return your +hospitality: and the first time you come my way you shall have two +glasses of brandy-and-water." + +Mr. Prickett did not look pleased, but he made no objection; and Mr. +Burley put the book into his pocket, and turned to examine the shelves. +He bought an old jest-book, a stray volume of the Comedies of Destouches, +paid for them, put them also into his pocket, and was sauntering out, +when he perceived Leonard, who was now standing at the doorway. + +"Hem! who is that?" he asked, whispering Mr. Prickett. "A young +assistant of mine, and very clever." + +Mr. Burley scanned Leonard from top to toe. + +"We have met before, sir. But you look as if you had returned to the +Brent, and been fishing for my perch." + +"Possibly, sir," answered Leonard. "But my line is tough, and is not yet +broken, though the fish drags it amongst the weeds, and buries itself in +the mud." + +He lifted his hat, bowed slightly, and walked on. + +"He is clever," said Mr. Burley to the bookseller: "he understands +allegory." + +MR. PRICKETT.---"Poor youth! He came to town with the idea of turning +author: you know what that is, Mr. Burley." + +MR. BURLEY (with an air of superb dignity).--"Bibliopole, yes! An author +is a being between gods and men, who ought to be lodged in a palace, and +entertained at the public charge upon ortolans and Tokay. He should be +kept lapped in down, and curtained with silken awnings from the cares of +life, have nothing to do but to write books upon tables of cedar, and +fish for perch from a gilded galley. And that 's what will come to pass +when the ages lose their barbarism and know their benefactors. +Meanwhile, sir, I invite you to my rooms, and will regale you upon +brandy-and-water as long as I can pay for it; and when I cannot--you +shall regale me." + +Mr. Prickett muttered, "A very bad bargain indeed," as Mr. Burley, with +his chin in the air, stepped into the street. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +At first Leonard had always returned home through the crowded +thoroughfares,--the contact of numbers had animated his spirits. But the +last two days, since the discovery of his birth, he had taken his way +down the comparatively unpeopled path of the New Road. + +He had just gained that part of this outskirt in which the statuaries and +tomb-makers exhibit their gloomy wares, furniture alike for gardens and +for graves,--and, pausing, contemplated a column, on which was placed an +urn, half covered with a funeral mantle, when his shoulder was lightly +tapped, and, turning quickly, he saw Mr. Burley standing behind him. + +"Excuse me, sir, but you understand perch-fishing; and since we find +ourselves on the same road, I should like to be better acquainted with +you. I hear you once wished to be an author. I am one." + +Leonard had never before, to his knowledge, seen an author, and a +mournful smile passed his lips as he surveyed the perch-fisher. + +Mr. Burley was indeed very differently attired since the first interview +by the brooklet. He looked much less like an author,--but more perhaps +like a perch-fisher. He had a new white hat, stuck on one side of his +head, a new green overcoat, new gray trousers, and new boots. In his +hand was a whalebone stick, with a silver handle. Nothing could be more +vagrant, devil-me-Garish, and, to use a slang word, tigerish, than his +whole air. Yet, vulgar as was his costume, he did not himself seem +vulgar, but rather eccentric, lawless,--something out of the pale of +convention. His face looked more pale and more puffed than before, the +tip of his nose redder; but the spark in his eye was of a livelier light, +and there was self-enjoyment in the corners of his sensual, humorous lip. + +"You are an author, sir," repeated Leonard. "Well; and what is your +report of the calling? Yonder column props an urn. The column is tall, +and the urn is graceful. But it looks out of place by the roadside: what +say you?" + +MR. BURLEY.--"It would look better in the churchyard." + +LEONARD.--"So I was thinking. And you are an author!" + +MR. BURLEY.--"Ah, I said you had a quick sense of allegory. And so you +think an author looks better in a churchyard, when you see him but as a +muffled urn under the moonshine, than standing beneath the gas-lamp in a +white hat, and with a red tip to his nose. Abstractedly, you are right. +But, with your leave, the author would rather be where he is. Let us +walk on." The two men felt an interest in each other, and they walked +some yards in silence. + +"To return to the urn," said Mr. Burley,--"you think of fame and +churchyards. Natural enough, before illusion dies; but I think of the +moment, of existence,--and I laugh at fame. Fame, sir--not worth a glass +of cold-without! And as for a glass of warm, with sugar--and five +shillings in one's pocket to spend as one pleases--what is there in +Westminster Abbey to compare with it?" + +"Talk on, sir,--I should like to hear you talk. Let me listen and hold +my tongue." Leonard pulled his hat over his brows, and gave up his +moody, questioning, turbulent mind to his new acquaintance. + +And John Burley talked on. A dangerous and fascinating talk it was,-- +the talk of a great intellect fallen; a serpent trailing its length on +the ground, and showing bright, shifting, glorious hues, as it +grovelled,--a serpent, yet without the serpent's guile. If John Burley +deceived and tempted, he meant it not,--he crawled and glittered alike +honestly. No dove could be more simple. + +Laughing at fame, he yet dwelt with an eloquent enthusiasm on the joy of +composition. "What do I care what men without are to say and think of +the words that gush forth on my page?" cried he. "If you think of the +public, of urns, and laurels, while you write, you are no genius; you are +not fit to be an author. I write because it rejoices me, because it +is my nature. Written, I care no more what becomes of it than the lark +for the effect that the song has on the peasant it wakes to the plough. +The poet, like the lark, sings 'from his watch-tower in the skies.' Is +this true?" + +"Yes, very true!" + +"What can rob us of this joy? The bookseller will not buy; the public +will not read. Let them sleep at the foot of the ladder of the angels, +--we climb it all the same. And then one settles down into such good- +tempered Lucianic contempt for men. One wants so little from them, when +one knows what one's self is worth, and what they are. They are just +worth the coin one can extract from them, in order to live. + +"Our life--that is worth so much to us. And then their joys, so vulgar +to them, we can make them golden and kingly. Do you suppose Burns +drinking at the alehouse, with his boors around him, was drinking, like +them, only beer and whiskey? No, he was drinking nectar; he was imbibing +his own ambrosial thoughts,--shaking with the laughter of the gods. The +coarse human liquid was just needed to unlock his spirit from the clay,-- +take it from jerkin and corduroys, and wrap it in the 'singing robes' +that floated wide in the skies: the beer or the whiskey needed but for +that, and then it changed at once into the drink of Hebe. But come, you +have not known this life,--you have not seen it. Come, give me this +night. I have moneys about me,--I will fling them abroad as liberally as +Alexander himself, when he left to his share but hope. Come!" + +"Whither?" + +"To my throne. On that throne last sat Edmund Kean, mighty mime! I am +his successor. We will see whether in truth these wild sons of genius, +who are cited but 'to point a moral and adorn a tale,' were objects of +compassion. Sober-suited tits to lament over a Savage or a Morland, a +Porson and a Burns!" + +"Or a Chatterton," said Leonard, gloomily. + +"Chatterton was an impostor in all things; he feigned excesses that he +never knew. He a bacchanalian, a royster! HE! No. We will talk of +him. Come!" + +Leonard went. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +The Room! And the smoke-reek, and the gas glare of it! The whitewash of +the walls, and the prints thereon of the actors in their mime-robes, and +stage postures,--actors as far back as their own lost Augustan era, when +the stage was a real living influence on the manners and the age! There +was Betterton, in wig and gown,--as Cato, moralizing on the soul's +eternity, and halting between Plato and the dagger. There was Woodward +as "The Fine Gentleman," with the inimitable rake-hell in which the +heroes of Wycherly and Congreve and Farquhar live again. There was +jovial Quin as Falstaff, with round buckler and "fair round belly." +There was Colley Cibber in brocade, taking snuff as with "his Lord," the +thumb and forefinger raised in air, and looking at you for applause. +There was Macklin as Shylock, with knife in hand: and Kemble in the +solemn weeds of the Dane; and Kean in the place of honour over the +chimneypiece. + +When we are suddenly taken from practical life, with its real workday +men, and presented to the portraits of those sole heroes of a world +Fantastic and Phantasmal, in the garments wherein they did "strut and +fret their hour upon the stage," verily there is something in the sight +that moves an inner sense within ourselves,--for all of us have an inner +sense of some existence, apart from the one that wears away our days: an +existence that, afar from St. James's and St. Giles's, the Law Courts and +Exchange, goes its way in terror or mirth, in smiles or in tears, through +a vague magic-land of the poets. There, see those actors--they are the +men who lived it--to whom our world was the false one, to whom the +Imaginary was the Actual! And did Shakspeare himself, in his life, ever +hearken to such applause as thundered round the personators of his airy +images? Vague children of the most transient of the arts, fleet shadows +on running waters, though thrown down from the steadfast stars, were ye +not happier than we who live in the Real? How strange you must feel in +the great circuit that ye now take through eternity! No prompt-books, +no lamps, no acting Congreve and Shakspeare there! For what parts in the +skies have your studies on the earth fitted you? Your ultimate destinies +are very puzzling. Hail to your effigies, and pass we on! + +There, too, on the whitewashed walls, were admitted the portraits of +ruder rivals in the arena of fame,--yet they, too, had known an applause +warmer than his age gave to Shakspeare; the Champions of the Ring,--Cribb +and Molyneux and Dutch Sam. Interspersed with these was an old print of +Newmarket in the early part of the last century, and sundry engravings +from Hogarth. But poets, oh, they were there too! poets who might be +supposed to have been sufficiently good fellows to be at home with such +companions,--Shakspeare, of course, with his placid forehead; Ben Jonson, +with his heavy scowl; Burns and Byron cheek by jowl. But the strangest +of all these heterogeneous specimens of graphic art was a full-length +print of William Pitt!---William Pitt, the austere and imperious. What +the deuce did he do there amongst prize-fighters and actors and poets? +It seemed an insult to his grand memory. Nevertheless there he was, very +erect, and with a look of ineffable disgust in his upturned nostrils. +The portraits on the sordid walls were very like the crambo in the minds +of ordinary men,--very like the motley pictures of the FAMOUS hung up in +your parlour, O my Public! Actors and prize-fighters, poets and +statesmen, all without congruity and fitness, all whom you have been to +see or to hear for a moment, and whose names have stared out in your +newspapers, O my public! + +And the company? Indescribable! Comedians, from small theatres, out of +employ; pale, haggard-looking boys, probably the sons of worthy traders, +trying their best to break their fathers' hearts; here and there the +marked features of a Jew. Now and then you might see the curious puzzled +face of some greenhorn about town, or perhaps a Cantab; and men of grave +age, and grayhaired, were there, and amongst them a wondrous proportion +of carbuncled faces and bottle-noses. And when John Burley entered, +there was a shout that made William Pitt shake in his frame. Such +stamping and hallooing, and such hurrahs for "Burley John." And the +gentleman who had filled the great high leathern chair in his absence +gave it up to John Burley; and Leonard, with his grave, observant eye, +and lip half sad and half scornful, placed himself by the side of his +introducer. There was a nameless, expectant stir through the assembly, +as there is in the pit of the opera when some great singer advances to +the lamps, and begins, "Di tanti palpiti." Time flies. Look at the +Dutch clock over the door. Half-an-hour. John Burley begins to warm. A +yet quicker light begins to break from his Eye; his voice has a mellow +luscious roll in it. + +"He will be grand to-night," whispered a thin man, who looked like a +tailor, seated on the other side of Leonard. Time flies,--an hour. Look +again at the Dutch clock. John Burley is grand, he is in his zenith, at +his culminating point. What magnificent drollery! what luxuriant humour! +How the Rabelais shakes in his easy-chair! Under the rush and the roar +of this fun (what word else shall describe it?) the man's intellect is as +clear as gold sand under a river. Such wit and such truth, and, at +times, such a flood of quick eloquence! All now are listeners,--silent, +save in applause. + +And Leonard listened too. Not, as he would some nights ago, in innocent +unquestioning delight. No; his mind has passed through great sorrow, +great passion, and it comes out unsettled, inquiring, eager, brooding +over joy itself as over a problem. And the drink circulates, and faces +change; and there are gabbling and babbling; and Burley's head sinks in +his bosom, and he is silent. And up starts a wild, dissolute, +bacchanalian glee for seven voices. And the smoke-reek grows denser and +thicker, and the gaslight looks dizzy through the haze. And John +Burley's eyes reel. + +Look again at the Dutch clock. Two hours have gone. John Burley has +broken out again from his silence, his voice thick and husky, and his +laugh cracked; and he talks, O ye gods! such rubbish and ribaldry; and +the listeners roar aloud, and think it finer than before. And Leonard, +who had hitherto been measuring himself in his mind against the giant, +and saying inly, "He soars out of my reach," finds the giant shrink +smaller and smaller, and saith to himself, "He is but of man's common +standard after all!" + +Look again at the Dutch clock. Three hours have passed. Is John Burley +now of man's common standard? Man himself seems to have vanished from +the scene,--his soul stolen from him, his form gone away with the fumes +of the smoke, and the nauseous steam from that fiery bowl. And Leonard +looked round, and saw but the swine of Circe,--some on the floor, some +staggering against the walls, some hugging each other on the tables, some +fighting, some bawling, some weeping. The divine spark had fled from the +human face; the Beast is everywhere growing more and snore out of the +thing that had been Man. And John Burley, still unconquered, but clean +lost to his senses, fancies himself a preacher, and drawls forth the most +lugubrious sermon upon the brevity of life that mortal ever beard, +accompanied with unctuous sobs; and now and then in the midst of +balderdash gleams out a gorgeous sentence, that Jeremy Taylor might have +envied, drivelling away again into a cadence below the rhetoric of a +Muggletonian. And the waiters choked up the doorway, listening and +laughing, and prepared to call cabs and coaches; and suddenly some one +turned off the gaslight, and all was dark as pitch,--howls and laughter, +as of the damned, ringing through the Pandemonium. Out from the black +atmosphere stepped the boy-poet; and the still stars rushed on his sight, +as they looked over the grimy roof-tops. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +Well, Leonard, this is the first time thou hast shown that thou hast in +thee the iron out of which true manhood is forged and shaped. Thou hast +the power to resist. Forth, unebriate, unpolluted, he came from the +orgy, as yon star above him came from the cloud. + +He had a latch-key to his lodgings. He let himself in and walked +noiselessly up the creaking wooden stair. It was dawn. He passed on to +his window and threw it open. The green elm-tree from the carpenter's +yard looked as fresh and fair as if rooted in solitude, leagues away from +the smoke of Babylon. + +"Nature, Nature!" murmured Leonard, "I hear thy voice now. This stills, +this strengthens. But the struggle is very dread. Here, despair of +life,--there, faith in life. Nature thinks of neither, and lives +serenely on." + +By and by a bird slid softly from the heart of the tree, and dropped on +the ground below out of sight. But Leonard heard its carol. It awoke +its companions; wings began to glance in the air, and the clouds grew red +towards the east. + +Leonard sighed and left the window. On the table, near Helen's rose- +tree, which he bent over wistfully, lay a letter. He had not observed it +before. It was in Helen's hand. He took it to the light, and read it by +the pure, healthful gleams of morn:-- + + IVY LODGE. + + Oh, my dear brother Leonard, will this find you well, and (more + happy I dare not say, but) less sad than when we parted? I write + kneeling, so that it seems to me as if I wrote and prayed at the + same time. You may come and see me to-morrow evening, Leonard. Do + come, do,--we shall walk together in this pretty garden; and there + is an arbour all covered with jessamine and honeysuckle, from which + we can look down on London. I have looked from it so many times,-- + so many--trying if I can guess the roofs in our poor little street, + and fancying that I do see the dear elm-tree. + + Miss Starke is very kind to me; and I think after I have seen you, + that I shall be happy here,--that is, if you are happy. + + Your own grateful sister, + + HELEN. + + P. S.--Any one will direct you to our house; it lies to the left + near the top of the hill, a little way down a lane that is overhung + on one side with chestnut-trees and lilacs. I shall be watching for + you at the gate. + +Leonard's brow softened, he looked again like his former self. Up from +the dark sea at his heart smiled the meek face of a child, and the waves +lay still as at the charm of a spirit. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +"And what is Mr. Burley, and what has he written?" asked Leonard of Mr. +Prickett, when he returned to the shop. + +Let us reply to that question in our own words, for we know more about +Mr. Burley than Mr. Prickett does. + +John Burley was the only son of a poor clergyman, in a village near +Ealing, who had scraped and saved and pinched, to send his son to an +excellent provincial school in a northern county, and thence to college. +At the latter, during his first year, young Burley was remarked by the +undergraduates for his thick shoes and coarse linen, and remarkable to +the authorities for his assiduity and learning. The highest hopes were +entertained of him by the tutors and examiners. At the beginning of the +second year his high animal spirits, before kept down by study, broke +out. Reading had become easy to him. He knocked off his tasks with a +facile stroke, as it were. He gave up his leisure hours to Symposia by +no means Socratical. He fell into an idle, hard-drinking set. He got +into all kinds of scrapes. The authorities were at first kind and +forbearing in their admonitions, for they respected his abilities, and +still hoped he might become an honour to the University. But at last he +went drunk into a formal examination, and sent in papers, after the +manner of Aristophanes, containing capital jokes upon the Dons and Big- +wigs themselves. The offence was the greater and seemed the more +premeditated for being clothed in Greek. John Burley was expelled. He +went home to his father's a miserable man, for, with all his follies, he +had a good heart. Removed from ill example, his life for a year was +blameless. He got admitted as usher into the school in which he had +received instruction as a pupil. This school was in a large town. John +Burley became member of a club formed among the tradesmen, and spent +three evenings a week there. His astonishing convivial and +conversational powers began to declare themselves. He grew the oracle of +the club; and, from being the most sober, peaceful assembly in which +grave fathers of a family ever smoked a pipe or sipped a glass, it grew +under Mr. Burley's auspices the parent of revels as frolicking and +frantic as those out of which the old Greek Goat Song ever tipsily rose. +This would not do. There was a great riot in the streets one night, and +the next morning the usher was dismissed. Fortunately for John Burley's +conscience, his father had died before this happened,--died believing in +the reform of his son. During his ushership Mr. Burley had scraped +acquaintance with the editor of the county newspaper, and given him some +capital political articles; for Burley was, like Parr and Porson, a +notable politician. The editor furnished him with letters to the +journalists in London, and John came to the metropolis and got employed +on a very respectable newspaper. At college he had known Audley Egerton, +though but slightly: that gentleman was then just rising into repute in +parliament. Burley sympathized with some question on which Audley had +distinguished himself, and wrote a very good article thereon,--an article +so good that Egerton inquired into the authorship, found out Burley, and +resolved in his own mind to provide for him whenever he himself came into +office. But Burley was a man whom it was impossible to provide for. He +soon lost his connection with the news paper. First, he was so irregular +that he could never be depended upon. Secondly, he had strange, honest, +eccentric twists of thinking, that could coalesce with the thoughts of no +party in the long run. An article of his, inadvertently admitted, had +horrified all the proprietors, staff, and readers of the paper. It was +diametrically opposite to the principles the paper advocated, and +compared its pet politician to Catiline. Then John Burley shut himself +up and wrote books. He wrote two or three books, very clever, but not at +all to the popular taste,--abstract and learned, full of whims that were +caviare to the multitude, and larded with Greek. Nevertheless they +obtained for him a little money, and among literary men some reputation. +Now Audley Egerton came into power, and got him, though with great +difficulty,--for there were many prejudices against this scampish, +harum-scarum son of the Muses,--a place in a public office. He kept it +about a month, and then voluntarily resigned it. "My crust of bread and +liberty!" quoth John Burley, and he vanished into a garret. From that +time to the present he lived--Heaven knows how! Literature is a +business, like everything else; John Burley grew more and more incapable +of business. "He could not do task-work," he said; he wrote when the +whim seized him, or when the last penny was in his pouch, or when he was +actually in the spunging-house or the Fleet,--migrations which occurred +to him, on an average, twice a year. He could generally sell what he had +actually written, but no one would engage him beforehand. Editors of +magazines and other periodicals were very glad to have his articles, on +the condition that they were anonymous; and his style was not necessarily +detected, for he could vary it with the facility of a practised pen. +Audley Egerton continued his best supporter, for there were certain +questions on which no one wrote with such force as John Burley,-- +questions connected with the metaphysics of politics, such as law reform +and economical science. And Audley Egerton was the only man John Burley +put himself out of the way to serve, and for whom he would give up a +drinking bout and do task-work; for John Burley was grateful by nature, +and he felt that Egerton had really tried to befriend him. Indeed, it +was true, as he had stated to Leonard by the Brent, that even after he +had resigned his desk in the London office, he had had the offer of an +appointment in Jamaica, and a place in India, from the minister. But +probably there were other charms then than those exercised by the one- +eyed perch that kept him to the neighbourhood of London. With all his +grave faults of character and conduct, John Burley was not without the +fine qualities of a large nature. He was most resolutely his own enemy, +it is true, but he could hardly be said to be any one else's. Even when +he criticised some more fortunate writer, he was good-humoured in his +very satire: he had no bile, no envy. And as for freedom from malignant +personalities, he might have been a model to all critics. I must except +politics, however, for in these he could be rabid and savage. He had a +passion for independence, which, though pushed to excess, was not without +grandeur. No lick-platter, no parasite, no toad-eater, no literary +beggar, no hunter after patronage and subscriptions; even in his dealings +with Audley Egerton, he insisted on naming the price for his labours. He +took a price, because, as the papers required by Audley demanded much +reading and detail, which was not at all to his taste, he considered +himself entitled fairly to something more than the editor of the journal +wherein the papers appeared was in the habit of giving. But he assessed +this extra price himself, and as he would have done to a bookseller. And +when in debt and in prison, though he knew a line to Egerton would have +extricated him, he never wrote that line. He would depend alone on his +pen,--dipped it hastily in the ink, and scrawled himself free. The most +debased point about him was certainly the incorrigible vice of drinking, +and with it the usual concomitant of that vice,--the love of low company. +To be King of the Bohemians, to dazzle by his wild humour, and sometimes +to exalt by his fanciful eloquence, the rude, gross natures that gathered +round him,--this was a royalty that repaid him for all sacrifice of solid +dignity; a foolscap crown that he would not have changed for an emperor's +diadem. Indeed, to appreciate rightly the talents of John Burley, it was +necessary to hear him talk on such occasions. As a writer, after all, he +was now only capable of unequal desultory efforts; but as a talker, in +his own wild way, he was original and matchless. And the gift of talk is +one of the most dangerous gifts a man can possess for his own sake,--the +applause is so immediate, and gained with so little labour. Lower and +lower and lower had sunk John Burley, not only in the opinion of all who +knew his name, but in the habitual exercise of his talents. And this +seemed wilfully--from choice. He would write for some unstamped journal +of the populace, out of the pale of the law, for pence, when he could +have got pounds from journals of high repute. He was very fond of +scribbling off penny ballads, and then standing in the street to hear +them sung. He actually once made himself the poet of an advertising +tailor, and enjoyed it excessively. But that did not last long, for John +Burley was a Pittite,--not a Tory, he used to say, but a Pittite. And if +you had heard him talk of Pitt, you would never have known what to make +of that great statesman. He treated him as the German commentators do +Shakspeare, and invested him with all imaginary meanings and objects, +that would have turned the grand practical man into a sibyl. Well, he +was a Pittite; the tailor a fanatic for Thelwall and Cobbett. Mr. Burley +wrote a poem wherein Britannia appeared to the tailor, complimented him +highly on the art he exhibited in adorning the persons of her sons; and +bestowing upon him a gigantic mantle, said that he, and he alone, might +be enabled to fit it to the shoulders of living men. The rest of the +poem was occupied in Mr. Snip's unavailing attempts to adjust this mantle +to the eminent politicians of the day, when, just as he had sunk down in +despair, Britannia reappeared to him, and consoled him with the +information that he had done all mortal man could do, and that she had +only desired to convince pigmies that no human art could adjust to THEIR +proportions the mantle of William Pitt. /Sic itur ad astra/,--she went +back to the stars, mantle and all! Mr. Snip was exceedingly indignant at +this allegorical effusion, and with wrathful shears cut the tie between +himself and his poet. + +Thus, then, the reader has, we trust, a pretty good idea of John Burley, +--a specimen of his genus not very common in any age, and now happily +almost extinct, since authors of all degrees share in the general +improvement in order, economy, and sober decorum, which has obtained in +the national manners. Mr. Prickett, though entering into less historical +detail than we have done, conveyed to Leonard a tolerably accurate notion +of the man, representing him as a person of great powers and learning, +who had thoroughly thrown himself away. + +Leonard did not, however, see how much Mr. Burley himself was to be +blamed for his waste of life; he could not conceive a man of genius +voluntarily seating himself at the lowest step in the social ladder. He +rather supposed he had been thrust down there by Necessity. + +And when Mr. Prickett, concluding, said, "Well, I should think Burley +would cure you of the desire to be an author even more than Chatterton," +the young man answered gloomily, "Perhaps," and turned to the book- +shelves. + +With Mr. Prickett's consent, Leonard was released earlier than usual from +his task, and a little before sunset he took his way to Highgate. He was +fortunately directed to take the new road by the Regent's Park, and so on +through a very green and smiling country. The walk, the freshness of the +air, the songs of the birds, and, above all, when he had got half-way, +the solitude of the road, served to rouse him from his stern and sombre +meditations. And when he came into the lane overhung with chestnut- +trees, and suddenly caught sight of Helen's watchful and then brightening +face, as she stood by the wicket, and under the shadow of cool, murmurous +boughs, the blood rushed gayly through his veins, and his heart beat loud +and gratefully. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +She drew him into the garden with such true childlike joy. Now behold +them seated in the arbour,--a perfect bower of sweets and blossoms; the +wilderness of roof-tops and spires stretching below, broad and far; +London seen dim and silent, as in a dream. + +She took his hat from his brows gently, and looked him in the face with +tearful penetrating eyes. + +She did not say, "You are changed." She said, "Why, why did I leave +you?" and then turned away. + +"Never mind me, Helen. I am man, and rudely born; speak of yourself. +This lady is kind to you, then?" + +"Does she not let me see you? Oh, very kind,--and look here." + +Helen pointed to fruits and cakes set out on the table. "A feast, +brother." + +And she began to press her hospitality with pretty winning ways, more +playful than was usual to her, and talking very fast, and with forced, +but silvery, laughter. + +By degrees she stole him from his gloom and reserve; and though he could +not reveal to her the cause of his bitterest sorrow, he owned that he had +suffered much. He would not have owned that to another living being. +And then, quickly turning from this brief confession, with assurances +that the worst was over, he sought to amuse her by speaking of his new +acquaintance with the perch-fisher. But when he spoke of this man with a +kind of reluctant admiration, mixed with compassionate yet gloomy +interest, and drew a grotesque, though subdued, sketch of the wild scene +in which he had been spectator, Helen grew alarmed and grave. + +"Oh, brother, do not go there again,--do not see more of this bad man." + +"Bad!--no! Hopeless and unhappy, he has stooped to stimulants and +oblivion--but you cannot understand these things, my pretty preacher." + +"Yes, I do, Leonard. What is the difference between being good and bad? +The good do not yield to temptations, and the bad do." + +The definition was so simple and so wise that Leonard was more struck +with it than he might have been by the most elaborate sermon by Parson +Dale. + +"I have often murmured to myself since I lost you, 'Helen was my good +angel; '--say on. For my heart is dark to myself, and while you speak +light seems to dawn on it." + +This praise so confused Helen that she was long before she could obey the +command annexed to it. But, by little and little, words came to both +more frankly. And then he told her the sad tale of Chatterton, and +waited, anxious to hear her comments. + +"Well," he said, seeing that she remained silent, "how can I hope, when +this mighty genius laboured and despaired? What did he want, save birth +and fortune and friends and human justice?" + +"Did he pray to God?" asked Helen, drying her tears. Again Leonard was +startled. In reading the life of Chatterton he had not much noted the +scepticism, assumed or real, of the ill-fated aspirer to earthly +immortality. At Helen's question, that scepticism struck him forcibly. +"Why do you ask that, Helen?" + +"Because, when we pray often, we grow so very, very patient," answered +the child. "Perhaps, had he been patient a few months more, all would +have been won by him, as it will be by you, brother, for you pray, and +you will be patient." + +Leonard bowed his head in deep thought, and this time the thought was not +gloomy. Then out from that awful life there glowed another passage, +which before he had not heeded duly, but regarded rather as one of the +darkest mysteries in the fate of Chatterton. + +At the very time the despairing poet had locked himself up in his garret, +to dismiss his soul from its earthly ordeal, his genius had just found +its way into the light of renown. Good and learned and powerful men were +preparing to serve and save him. Another year--nay, perchance another +month--and he might have stood acknowledged sublime in the foremost ranks +of his age. + +"Oh, Helen!" cried Leonard, raising his brows, from which the cloud had +passed, "why, indeed, did you leave me?" + +Helen started in her turn as he repeated this regret, and in her turn +grew thoughtful. At length she asked him if he had written for the box +which had belonged to her father and been left at the inn. + +And Leonard, though a little chafed at what he thought a childish +interruption to themes of graver interest, owned, with self-reproach, +that he had forgotten to do so. Should he not write now to order the box +to be sent to her at Miss Starke's? + +"No; let it be sent to you. Take care of it. I should like to know that +something of mine is with you; and perhaps I may not stay here long." + +"Not stay here? That you must, my dear Helen,--at least as long as Miss +Starke will keep you, and is kind. By and by" (added Leonard, with +something of his former sanguine tone) "I may yet make my way, and we +shall have our cottage to ourselves. But--oh, Helen!--I forgot--you +wounded me; you left your money with me. I only found it in my drawers +the other day. Fie! I have brought it back." + +"It was not mine,--it is yours. We were to share together,--you paid +all; and how can I want it here, too?" But Leonard was obstinate; and as +Helen mournfully received back all that of fortune her father had +bequeathed to her, a tall female figure stood at the entrance of the +arbour, and said, in a voice that scattered all sentiment to the winds, +"Young man, it is time to go." + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +"Already?" said Helen, with faltering accents, as she crept to Miss +Starke's side while Leonard rose and bowed. "I am very grateful to you, +madam," said he, with the grace that comes from all refinement of idea, +"for allowing me to see Miss Helen. Do not let me abuse your kindness." + +Miss Starke seemed struck with his look and manner, and made a stiff half +courtesy. + +A form more rigid than Miss Starke's it was hard to conceive. She was +like the Grim White Woman in the nursery ballads. Yet, apparently, there +was a good-nature in allowing the stranger to enter her trim garden, and +providing for him and her little charge those fruits and cakes which +belied her aspect. "May I go with him to the gate?" whispered Helen, as +Leonard had already passed up the path. + +"You may, child; but do not loiter. And then come back, and lock up the +cakes and cherries, or Patty will get at them." + +Helen ran after Leonard. + +"Write to me, brother,--write to me; and do not, do not be friends with +this man, who took you to that wicked, wicked place." + +"Oh, Helen, I go from you strong enough to brave worse dangers than +that," said Leonard, almost gayly. + +They kissed each other at the little wicket gate, and parted. + +Leonard walked home under the summer moonlight, and on entering his +chamber looked first at his rose-tree. The leaves of yesterday's flowers +lay strewn around it; but the tree had put forth new buds. + +"Nature ever restores," said the young man. He paused a moment, and +added, "Is it that Nature is very patient?" His sleep that night was not +broken by the fearful dreams he had lately known. He rose refreshed, and +went his way to his day's work,--not stealing along the less crowded +paths, but with a firm step, through the throng of men. Be bold, +adventurer,--thou hast more to suffer! Wilt thou sink? I look into thy +heart, and I cannot answer. + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MY NOVEL, BY LYTTON, V6 *** + +****** This file should be named 7707.txt or 7707.zip ****** + +This eBook was produced by David Widger + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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