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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77095 ***
+
+
+ The History and Adventures of the Renowned Don Quixote
+
+[Illustration: Don Quixote and Sancho Panza on the road.]
+
+
+
+
+ THE HISTORY AND ADVENTURES OF THE RENOWNED DON QUIXOTE
+
+ TRANSLATED FROM THE SPANISH
+
+ OF
+
+ MIGUEL DE CERVANTES SAAVEDRA.
+
+
+ TO WHICH IS PREFIXED,
+
+ SOME ACCOUNT OF THE AUTHOR’S LIFE,
+
+ BY DR. SMOLLETT.
+
+
+ IN FOUR VOLUMES.
+
+ LONDON:
+ Printed for HARRISON and Co. No. 18, Paternoster Row.
+ M DCC XCII.
+
+
+
+
+ TO
+
+ HIS EXCELLENCY
+
+ DON RICARDO WALL,
+
+ PRINCIPAL SECRETARY OF STATE TO HIS MOST CATHOLICK MAJESTY,
+
+ LIEUTENANT GENERAL OF THE ARMIES OF SPAIN,
+
+ COMMENDARY OF PENAUZENDE IN THE ORDER OF SAINT JAGO, &C.
+
+ AND HERETOFORE
+
+ AMBASSADOR AND PLENIPOTENTIARY AT THE COURT OF GREAT BRITAIN.
+
+
+SIR,
+
+The permission I obtained to inscribe the following Translation of DON
+QUIXOTE to your Excellency, while you resided in this Capital, affords
+me a double pleasure; as it not only gives me an opportunity of
+expressing that profound respect and veneration with which I contemplate
+your Excellency’s character; but also implies your approbation, which
+cannot fail to influence the publick in behalf of the performance.
+
+I have the honour to be,
+
+Sir,
+
+Your Excellency’s most obedient,
+
+Humble Servant,
+
+T. SMOLLETT.
+
+LONDON, Feb. 7, 1755.
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+ The Life of Cervantes ... v
+
+ Translator’s Note ... xvii
+
+ Preface ... xix
+
+ Volume I ... 25
+
+ Book I ... 25
+
+ Chapter I ... 25
+
+ Chapter II ... 29
+
+ Chapter III ... 32
+
+ Chapter IV ... 36
+
+ Chapter V ... 40
+
+ Chapter VI ... 42
+
+ Chapter VII ... 46
+
+ Chapter VIII ... 49
+
+ Book II ... 54
+
+ Chapter I ... 54
+
+ Chapter II ... 57
+
+ Chapter III ... 60
+
+ Chapter IV ... 64
+
+ Chapter V ... 67
+
+ Book III ... 77
+
+ Chapter I ... 77
+
+ Chapter II ... 81
+
+ Chapter III ... 85
+
+ Chapter IV ... 90
+
+ Chapter V ... 95
+
+ Chapter VI ... 99
+
+ Chapter VII ... 106
+
+ Chapter VIII ... 113
+
+ Chapter IX ... 119
+
+ Chapter X ... 125
+
+ Chapter XI ... 130
+
+ Chapter XII ... 139
+
+ Chapter XIII ... 143
+
+ Volume II ... 153
+
+ Book IV ... 153
+
+ Chapter I ... 153
+
+ Chapter II ... 161
+
+ Chapter III ... 167
+
+ Chapter IV ... 173
+
+ Chapter V ... 178
+
+ Chapter VI ... 182
+
+ Chapter VII ... 192
+
+ Chapter VIII ... 203
+
+ Chapter IX ... 207
+
+ Chapter X ... 212
+
+ Chapter XI ... 218
+
+ Chapter XII ... 220
+
+ Chapter XIII ... 225
+
+ Chapter XIV ... 232
+
+ Chapter XV ... 242
+
+ Chapter XVI ... 246
+
+ Chapter XVII ... 251
+
+ Chapter XVIII ... 256
+
+ Chapter XIX ... 260
+
+ Chapter XX ... 265
+
+ Chapter XXI ... 270
+
+ Chapter XXII ... 274
+
+ Chapter XXIII ... 278
+
+ Chapter XXIV ... 282
+
+ Chapter XXV ... 285
+
+ Volume III ... 293
+
+ Preface ... 293
+
+ Approbation ... 296
+
+ Book I ... 299
+
+ Chapter I ... 299
+
+ Chapter II ... 305
+
+ Chapter III ... 308
+
+ Chapter IV ... 312
+
+ Chapter V ... 315
+
+ Chapter VI ... 318
+
+ Chapter VII ... 321
+
+ Chapter VIII ... 325
+
+ Chapter IX ... 329
+
+ Chapter X ... 331
+
+ Chapter XI ... 336
+
+ Chapter XII .. 339
+
+ Chapter XIII ... 342
+
+ Chapter XIV ... 346
+
+ Chapter XV ... 351
+
+ Chapter XVI ... 353
+
+ Chapter XVII ... 358
+
+ Book II ... 364
+
+ Chapter I ... 364
+
+ Chapter II ... 368
+
+ Chapter III ... 372
+
+ Chapter IV ... 377
+
+ Chapter V ... 380
+
+ Chapter VI ... 385
+
+ Chapter VII ... 390
+
+ Chapter VIII ... 394
+
+ Chapter IX ... 401
+
+ Chapter X ... 406
+
+ Chapter XI ... 409
+
+ Chapter XII ... 412
+
+ Chapter XIII ... 416
+
+ Chapter XIV ... 418
+
+ Chapter XV ... 423
+
+ Book III ... 431
+
+ Chapter I ... 431
+
+ Chapter II ... 435
+
+ Chapter III ... 439
+
+ Chapter IV ... 443
+
+ Chapter V ... 446
+
+ Volume IV ... 447
+
+ Book III ... 447
+
+ Chapter VI ... 447
+
+ Chapter VII ... 450
+
+ Chapter VIII ... 452
+
+ Chapter IX ... 455
+
+ Chapter X ... 461
+
+ Chapter XI ... 464
+
+ Chapter XII ... 467
+
+ Chapter XIII ... 472
+
+ Chapter XIV ... 475
+
+ Chapter XV ... 477
+
+ Chapter XVI ... 482
+
+ Chapter XVII ... 487
+
+ Chapter XVIII ... 493
+
+ Chapter XIX ... 498
+
+ Chapter XX ... 502
+
+ Book IV ... 507
+
+ Chapter I ... 507
+
+ Chapter II ... 510
+
+ Chapter III ... 514
+
+ Chapter IV ... 519
+
+ Chapter V ... 521
+
+ Chapter VI ... 523
+
+ Chapter VII ... 530
+
+ Chapter VIII ... 534
+
+ Chapter IX ... 542
+
+ Chapter X ... 543
+
+ Chapter XI ... 550
+
+ Chapter XII ... 556
+
+ Chapter XIII ... 558
+
+ Chapter XIV ... 561
+
+ Chapter XV ... 564
+
+ Chapter XVI ... 567
+
+ Chapter XVII ... 570
+
+ Chapter XVIII ... 572
+
+ Chapter XIX ... 576
+
+ Chapter XX ... 580
+
+ Chapter XXI ... 582
+
+ Chapter XXII ... 585
+
+PLATES
+
+ Plate III, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza on the road. ... i
+
+ Plate XII, Don Quixote Defends His Armour. ... 34
+
+ Plate I, Sancho Being Tossed. ... 89
+
+ Plate VIII, Don Quixote Valiantly Charging the Herd of Sheep. ...
+ 93
+
+ Plate XI, Sancho’s Ass Stolen As They Sleep. ... 120
+
+ Plate XIV, The Tattered Gentleman Tells His Tale. ... 126
+
+ Plate IX, Don Quixote Displays the Bason. ... 257
+
+ Plate II, Don Quixote Worships His Lady. ... 334
+
+ Plate XIII, Don Quixote Braves the Lions. ... 360
+
+ Plate IV, Don Quixote Meets the Soldiers. ... 406
+
+ Plate VII, Sancho Panza and the Duchess and Her Ladies. ... 431
+
+ Plate VI, Governor Sancho Panza and the Woman. ... 474
+
+ Plate V, Don Quixote and the Shepherdesses. ... 527
+
+ Plate XVI, Don Quixote Attempts to Scourge Sancho Panza. ... 535
+
+ Plate X, Don Quixote Dancing. ... 546
+
+ Plate XV, Don Quixote on His Death-Bed. ... 585
+
+
+
+
+ THE LIFE OF CERVANTES.
+
+
+Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra was at once the glory and reproach of
+Spain; for, if his admirable genius and heroick spirit conduced to the
+honour of his country, the distress and obscurity which attended his old
+age, as effectually redounded to her disgrace. Had he lived amidst
+Gothick darkness and barbarity, where no records were used, and letters
+altogether unknown, we might have expected to derive from tradition a
+number of particulars relating to the family and fortune of a man so
+remarkably admired even in his own time. But one would imagine pains had
+been taken to throw a veil of oblivion over the personal concerns of
+this excellent author. No enquiry hath as yet been able to ascertain the
+place of his nativity; and, although in his works he has declared
+himself a gentleman by birth, no house has hitherto laid claim to such
+an illustrious descendant.
+
+One author says he was born at Esquivias[1]; but offers no argument in
+support of his assertion: and probably the conjecture was founded upon
+the encomiums which Cervantes himself bestows on that place, to which he
+gives the epithet of renowned, in his preface to Persiles and
+Sigismunda. Others affirm he first drew breath in Lucena, grounding
+their opinion upon a vague tradition which there prevails; and a third
+set take it for granted that he was a native of Seville, because there
+are families in that city known by the names of Cervantes and
+Saavedra[2]; and our author mentions his having, in his early youth,
+seen plays acted by Lope Rueda, who was a Sevilian. These, indeed, are
+presumptions that deserve some regard, though far from implying certain
+information, they scarce even amount to probable conjecture; nay, these
+very circumstances seem to disprove the supposition; for, had he been
+actually descended from those families, they would in all likelihood
+have preserved some memorials of his birth, which Don Nicholas Antonio
+would have recorded, in speaking of his fellow-citizen. All these
+pretensions are now generally set aside in favour of Madrid, which
+claims the honour of having produced Cervantes, and builds her title on
+an expression in his Voyage to Parnassus[3], which, in my opinion, is
+altogether equivocal and inconclusive.
+
+In the midst of such undecided contention, if I may be allowed to hazard
+a conjecture, I would suppose that there was something mysterious in his
+extraction, which he had no inclination to explain, and that his family
+had domestick reasons for maintaining the like reserve. Without
+admitting some such motive, we can hardly account for his silence on a
+subject that would have afforded him an opportunity to indulge that
+self-respect which he so honestly displays in the course of his
+writings. Unless we conclude that he was instigated to renounce all
+connection with his kindred and allies, by some contemptuous slight,
+mortifying repulse, or real injury he had sustained; a supposition
+which, I own, is not at all improbable, considering the jealous
+sensibility of the Spaniards in general, and the warmth of resentment
+peculiar to our author, which glows through his productions,
+unrestrained by all the fears of poverty, and all the maxims of old age
+and experience.
+
+Whatever may have been the place of his nativity, we gather from the
+preface to his novels, that he was born in the year 1549: and his
+writings declare that his education was by no means neglected; for, over
+and above a natural fund of humour and invention, he appears to have
+possessed a valuable stock of acquired knowledge; we find him intimately
+acquainted with the Latin classicks, well read in the history of
+nations, versed in the philosophy, rhetorick, and divinity of the
+schools, tinctured with astrology and geography, conversant with the
+best Italian authors, and perfectly master of his own Castilian
+language. His genius, which was too delicate and volatile to engage in
+the severer studies, directed his attention to the productions of taste
+and polite literature; which, while they amused his fancy, enlarged,
+augmented, and improved his ideas, and taught him to set proper bounds
+to the excursions of his imagination.
+
+Thus qualified, he could not fail to make pertinent observations in his
+commerce with mankind: the peculiarities of character could not escape
+his penetration; whatever he saw became familiar to his judgment and
+understanding; and every scene he exhibits is a just well-drawn
+characteristick picture of human life.
+
+How he exercised these talents in his youth, and in what manner the
+first years of his manhood were employed, we are not able to explain,
+because history and tradition are altogether silent on the subject;
+unless we admit the authority of one author[4], who says he was
+secretary to the Duke of Alva, without alledging any one fact or
+argument in support of his assertion. Had he actually enjoyed a post of
+such importance, we should not, in all probability, have wanted
+materials to supply this chasm in his life; nor should we find him
+afterwards in the station of a common soldier.
+
+Others imagine that he served as a volunteer in Flanders, where he was
+raised to the rank of ensign in the company commanded by Don Diego de
+Urbina; grounding this belief on the supposition that the history of the
+captive related in the first part of Don Quixote, is a literal detail of
+his own adventures. But this notion is rejected by those who consider
+that Cervantes would hardly have contented himself with the humble
+appellation of Soldier, which, in speaking of himself, he constantly
+assumes, had he ever appeared in any superior station of a military
+character. In a word, we have very little information touching the
+transactions of his life, but what he himself is pleased to give through
+the course of his writings; and from this we learn, that he was
+chamberlain to Cardinal Aquaviva in Rome, and followed the profession of
+a soldier for some years, in the army commanded by Marco Antonio
+Colona[5]; who was, by Pope Pius V. appointed general of the
+ecclesiastical forces employed against the Turks, and received the
+consecrated standard from the hands of his holiness, in the church of
+St. Peter.
+
+Under this celebrated captain, Cervantes embarked in the Christian fleet
+commanded by Don John of Austria, who obtained over the Turks the
+glorious victory of Lepanto, where our author lost his left hand by the
+shot of an arquebus. This mutilation, which redounded so much to his
+honour, he has taken care to record on divers occasions: and, indeed, it
+is very natural to suppose his imagination would dwell upon such an
+adventure, as the favourite incident of his life. I wish he had told us
+what recompence he received for his services, and what consolation he
+enjoyed for the loss of his limb; which must have effectually
+disqualified him for the office of a common soldier, and reduced him to
+the necessity of exercising some other employment.
+
+Perhaps it was at this period he entered into the service of Cardinal
+Aquaviva, to whose protection he was entitled by his gallantry and
+misfortune; and now, in all likelihood, he had leisure and opportunity
+to prosecute his favourite studies, to cultivate the muse, and render
+himself conspicuous by the productions of his genius; which was known
+and admired by several authors of distinction, even before his
+captivity; for Louis Galvez De Montalvo, in his poem prefixed to
+Galatea, says, “The world lamented his misfortune in tears, and the muse
+expressed a widow’s grief at his absence.” I will even venture to
+suppose, that, in this interval, his situation was such as enabled him
+to raise an independent fortune; for we find him afterwards relieving
+the wants of his fellow-captives in Barbary, with such liberality as
+denoted the affluence of his own circumstances; and, in his Voyage to
+Parnassus, which was published in his old age, Apollo upbraids him with
+want of œconomy; and reminds him of his having once made his own
+fortune, which in the sequel he squandered away.
+
+I make no doubt but this was the most fortunate period of Saavedra’s
+life; during which, he reformed and improved the Spanish theatre, and
+ushered into the world a number of dramatick performances, which were
+acted with universal applause. He tells us that he had seen plays acted
+by the great Lope De Rueda[6], who was a native of Seville, and
+originally a gold-beater. When this genius first appeared, the Spanish
+drama was in its infancy: one large sack or bag contained all the
+furniture and dress of the theatre, consisting of four sheep skin
+jackets with the wool on, trimmed with gilt leather; four beards and
+perriwigs, and the same number of pastoral crooks. The piece was no
+other than a dialogue or eclogue between two or three swains and a
+shepherdess, seasoned with comick interludes, or rather low buffoonery,
+exhibited in the characters of a black-moor, a bravo, a fool, and a
+Biscayan. The stage itself was composed of a few boards, raised about
+three feet from the ground, upon four benches or forms. There was no
+other scenery than a blanket or horse-cloth stretched across, behind
+which the musicians sung old ballads, unaccompanied by any sort of
+instrument. Lope de Rueda not only composed theatrical pieces, but also
+acted in every character with great reputation; in which he was
+succeeded by Naharro, a Toledan, who improved and augmented the
+decorations; brought the musick from behind the blanket, and placed it
+forwards to the audience; deprived the actors of their counterfeit
+beards, without which no man’s part had been hitherto performed;
+invented machines, clouds, thunder, and lightning; and introduced
+challenges and combats with incredible success. But still the drama was
+rude, unpolished, and irregular; and the fable, though divided into five
+acts, was almost altogether destitute of manners, propriety, and
+invention.
+
+From this uncultivated state of ignorance and barbarity, Cervantes
+raised the Spanish theatre to dignity and esteem, by enriching his
+dramatick productions with moral sentiments, regularity of plan, and
+propriety of character; together with the graces of poetry, and the
+beauties of imagination. He published thirty pieces, which were
+represented at Madrid with universal applause; so that he may be justly
+deemed the patriarch of the Spanish drama; and, in this particular,
+revered above Lope de Vega himself, who did not appear until he had left
+off writing for the stage.
+
+In the year 1574, he was unfortunately taken by a Barbary corsair, and
+conveyed to Algiers, where he was sold to a Moor, and remained a slave
+for the space of five years and a half: during which, he exhibited
+repeated proofs of the most enterprizing genius and heroick generosity.
+Though we know not on what occasion he fell into the hands of the
+Barbarians, he himself gives us to understand, in the story of the
+Captive, that he resided at Algiers in the reign of Hassan Aga, a
+ruffian renegado, whose cruelty he describes in these terms. ‘He was
+every day hanging one, impaling another, maiming a third, upon such
+slight occasions, frequently without any cause assigned, that the Turks
+themselves owned he acted thus out of mere wantonness and barbarity, as
+being naturally of a savage disposition, and an inveterate enemy to the
+whole human race. The person who used the greatest freedom with him, was
+one Saavedra, a Spanish soldier; who, though he did many things which
+those people will not soon forget, in attempting to regain his liberty,
+he never gave him one blow, nor ordered him once to be chastised, nor
+even chid him with one hasty word; and yet the least of all his pranks
+was sufficient, as we thought, to bring him to the stake; nay, he
+himself was more than once afraid of being impaled alive. If time would
+permit, I could here recount some of that soldier’s actions, which
+perhaps might entertain and surprize you more than the relation of my
+own story.’
+
+Thus Cervantes ascertains the time of his own slavery, delineates with
+great exactness the character of that inhuman tyrant, who is recorded in
+history as a monster of cruelty and avarice; and proves to
+demonstration, that his own story was quite different from that which
+the Captive related of himself. Saavedra’s adventures at Algiers were
+truly surprizing; and though we cannot favour the publick with a
+substantial detail of every incident, we have found means to learn such
+particulars of his conduct, as cannot fail to reflect an additional
+lustre on a character which has been long the object of admiration.
+
+We are informed by a respectable historian[7], who was his fellow-slave,
+and an eye-witness of the transaction, that Don Miguel de Cervantes, a
+gallant, enterprizing, Spanish cavalier, who, though he never wanted
+money, could not obtain his release without paying an exorbitant ransom,
+contrived a scheme for setting himself free, together with fourteen
+unhappy gentlemen of his own country, who were all in the like
+circumstances of thraldom under different patrons. His first step was to
+redeem one Viana, a bold Mayorcan mariner, in whom he could confide, and
+with whom he sent letters to the governor of that island, desiring, in
+the name of himself and the other gentlemen captives, that he would send
+over a brigantine under the direction of Viana, who had undertaken, at
+an appointed time, to touch upon a certain part of the coast, where he
+should find them ready to embark. In consequence of this agreement, they
+withdrew themselves from their respective masters, and privately
+repaired to a garden near the sea-side, belonging to a renegado Greek,
+whose name was Al-Caid Hassan; where they were concealed in a cave, and
+carefully screened from the knowledge of the owner, by his gardener, who
+was a Christian captive. Viana punctually performed his promise, and
+returned in a vessel, with which he was supplied by the governor of
+Mayorca; but some Moors chancing to pass just as he anchored at the
+appointed place, the coast was instantly alarmed, and he found himself
+obliged to relinquish the enterprize. Meanwhile, the captives being
+ignorant of this accident, remained in the cavern, which they never
+quitted except in the night, and were maintained by the liberality of
+Cervantes, for the space of seven months; during which the necessaries
+of life were brought to them by a Spanish slave, known by the
+appellation of El Dorador, or the Gilder. No wonder that their hope and
+patience began to fail, and their constitutions to be affected by the
+dampness of the place, and the grief of their disappointment, which Don
+Miguel endeavoured to alleviate by the exercise of his reason,
+good-humour, and humanity; till at last their purveyor turned traitor;
+and, allured by the hope of receiving a considerable reward, discovered
+the whole affair to Hassan Basha. This tyrant, transported with joy at
+the information, immediately ordered the guardian Basha, with a body of
+armed men, to follow the perfidious wretch, who conducted them to the
+cave, where they seized those unhappy fugitives, together with their
+faithful gardener, and forthwith carried the whole number to the publick
+bagnio, except Cervantes, touching whose person they had received
+particular directions from Hassan, who knew his character, and had been
+long desirous of possessing such a notable slave. At present, however,
+his intention was to persuade Don Miguel to accuse Oliver, one of the
+fathers of the redemption then at Algiers, as an accomplice in the
+scheme they had projected, that he might, on this pretence, extort from
+the friar, by way of composition, the greatest part of the money which
+had been collected for the ransom of Christian slaves. Accordingly, he
+endeavoured to inveigle Saavedra with artful promises, and to intimidate
+him with dreadful threats and imprecations, into the confession or
+impeachment on which he wanted to lay hold: but that generous Spaniard,
+with a resolution peculiar to himself, rejected all his offers, and
+despising the terrors of his menaces, persisted in affirming that he had
+no associate in the plan of their escape, which was purely the result of
+his own reflection.
+
+After having in vain tampered with his integrity, in repeated trials
+that lasted for several days, he restored him and his companions to
+their respective patrons, notwithstanding the remonstrances of Al Caid
+Hassan, owner of the garden in which they had been apprehended; who,
+probably with a view to manifest his own innocence, strenuously exhorted
+the Basha to inflict the most exemplary punishment on the offenders, and
+actually put his own gardener to death. Cervantes had so often
+signalized his genius, courage, and activity, that Hassan resolved to
+make him his own, and purchased him from his master for five hundred
+ducats; then he was heard to say, ‘While I hold that maimed Spaniard in
+safe custody, my vessels, slaves, and even my whole city, are secure.’
+For he had not only concerted a number of schemes for the deliverance of
+his fellow-captives, but his designs had even aspired to the conquest of
+Algiers, and he was at four different times on the point of being
+impaled, hooked, or burned alive. Any single attempt of that kind would
+have been deemed a capital offence, under the mildest government that
+ever subsisted among the Moors; but there was something in the character
+or personal deportment of Cervantes, which commanded respect from
+barbarity itself: for we find that Hassan Basha treated him with
+incredible lenity, and his redemption was afterwards effected by the
+intercession of a trinitarian father, for a thousand ducats[8].
+
+From this account of his behaviour in Barbary, it appears that he acted
+a far more important part than that of a poor mutilated soldier: he is
+dignified with the appellation of Don Miguel De Cervantes, and
+represented as a cavalier whose affluent fortune enabled him to gratify
+the benevolence and liberality of his disposition. We must therefore
+take it for granted, that he acquired this wealth after the battle of
+Lepanto, where he surely would not have fought as a private soldier,
+could he have commanded either money or interest to procure a more
+conspicuous station in the service. Be that as it will, his conduct at
+Algiers reflects honour upon his country; and while we applaud him as an
+author, we ought to revere him as a man; nor will his modesty be less
+the object of our admiration, if we consider that he has, upon this
+occasion, neglected the fairest opportunity a man could possibly enjoy,
+of displaying his own character to the greatest advantage, and indulging
+that self complacency which is so natural to the human heart.
+
+As he returned to his own country with those principles by which he had
+been distinguished in his exile, and an heart entendered and exercised
+in sympathizing with his fellow-creatures in distress; we may suppose he
+could not advert to the lessons of Oeconomy, which a warm imagination
+seldom or never retains; but that his heart glowed with all the
+enthusiasm of friendship, and that his bounty extended to every object
+of compassion which fell within his view.
+
+Notwithstanding all the shafts of ridicule which he hath so successfully
+levelled against the absurdities of the Spanish romance, we can plainly
+perceive from his own writings, that he himself had a turn for chivalry:
+his life was a chain of extraordinary adventures, his temper was
+altogether heroick, and his actions were, without doubt, influenced by
+the most romantick notions of honour.
+
+Spain has produced a greater number of these characters than we meet
+with upon record in any other nation; and whether such singularity be
+the effect of natural or moral causes, or of both combined, I shall not
+pretend to determine. Let us only affirm, that this disposition is not
+confined to any particular people or period of time: even in our own
+country, and in these degenerate days, we sometimes find individuals
+whom nature seems to have intended for members of those ideal societies
+which never did, and perhaps never can exist, but in imagination; and
+who remind us of the characters described by Homer and Plutarch, as
+patriots sacrificing their lives for their country, and heroes
+encountering danger, not with indifference and contempt, but with all
+the rapture and impetuosity of a passionate admirer.
+
+If we consider Cervantes as a man inspired by such sentiments, and
+actuated by such motives; and at the same time, from his known
+sensibility and natural complexion, suppose him to have been addicted to
+pleasure and the amusements of gallantry; we cannot be surprized to find
+his finances in a little time exhausted, and the face of his affairs
+totally reversed. It was probably in the decline of his fortune, that he
+resolved to re-appear in the character of an author, and stand candidate
+for the publick favour, which would be a certain resource in the day of
+trouble: he therefore composed his Galatea, in six books, which was
+published in the year 1584, dedicated to Ascanio Colonna, at that time
+abbot of St. Sophia, and afterwards cardinal of the holy cross of
+Jerusalem.
+
+The rich vein of invention, the tenderness of passion, the delicacy of
+sentiment, the power and purity of diction, displayed in this
+performance, are celebrated by Don Louis De Vargas Manrique, in a
+commendatory sonnet, which is a very elegant and honourable testimony of
+our author’s success. Nevertheless, the production has been censured for
+the irregularity of its stile, the incorrectness of its versification,
+and the multiplicity of its incidents, which incumber and perplex the
+principal narration; and, over and above these objections, the design is
+not brought to a conclusion, so that the plan appears meagre and
+defective. He himself pleads guilty to some part of the charge, in the
+sentence pronounced by the curate, in the first part of Don Quixote;
+who, when the barber takes up the Galatea of Miguel De Cervantes, ‘That
+same Cervantes,’ says he, ‘has been an intimate friend of mine these
+many years; and is to my certain knowledge, more conversant with
+misfortunes than with poetry. There is a good vein of invention in his
+book, which proposes something, though it concludes nothing. We must
+wait for the second part which he promises; and then, perhaps, his
+amendment may deserve a full pardon, which is now denied.’
+
+Whether the success of Galatea encouraged our author to oblige the world
+with some of those theatrical pieces, which we have already mentioned as
+the first regular productions of the Spanish drama, or the whole number
+of these was written and acted before his captivity, I have not been
+able to determine; but, in all probability, his first essays of that
+kind were exhibited in the interval between the battle of Lepanto and
+the commencement of his slavery, and the rest published after his
+redemption.
+
+Unless we suppose him to have been employed at Madrid in this manner for
+his subsistence, we must pass over two and twenty years, which afford us
+no particular information touching the life of Saavedra; though, in that
+period, he married Donna Cataline De Salazar, dissipated the remains of
+his fortune, experienced the ingratitude of those he had befriended in
+his prosperity, and after having sustained a series of mortifications
+and distress, was committed to prison in consequence of the debts he had
+contracted.
+
+In this dismal situation, he composed that performance which is the
+delight and admiration of all Europe; I mean, the first part of Don
+Quixote, which he wrote with a view to ridicule and discredit those
+absurd romances, filled with the most nauseous improbability and
+unnatural extravagance, which had debauched the taste of mankind, and
+were indeed a disgrace to common sense and reason. Not that Cervantes
+had any intention to combat the spirit of knight-errantry, so prevalent
+among the Spaniards; on the contrary, I am persuaded he would have been
+the first man in the nation to stand up for the honour and defence of
+chivalry; which, when restrained within due bounds, was an excellent
+institution, that inspired the most heroick sentiments of courage and
+patriotism, and on many occasions conduced to the peace and safety of
+the commonwealth. In the character of Don Quixote, he exhibits a good
+understanding perverted by reading romantick stories, which had no
+foundation in nature or in fact. His intellects are not supposed to have
+been damaged by the perusal of authentick histories, which recount the
+exploits of knights and heroes who really existed; but his madness seems
+to have flowed from his credulity, and a certain wildness of
+imagination, which was captivated by the marvellous representation of
+dwarfs, giants, necromancers, and other preternatural extravagance. From
+these legends he formed his whole plan of conduct; and, though nothing
+can be more ridiculous than the terms upon which he is described to have
+commenced knight-errant, at a time when the regulations of society had
+rendered the profession unnecessary, and indeed illegal; the criterion
+of his frenzy consists in that strange faculty of mistaking and
+confounding the most familiar objects with the fantastical illusions
+which those romances had engendered in his fancy. So that our author did
+not enter the lists against the memory of the real substantial chivalry,
+which he held in veneration; but with design to expel an hideous phantom
+that possessed the brains of the people, waging perpetual war with true
+genius and invention.
+
+The success of this undertaking must have exceeded his most sanguine
+hopes. Don Quixote no sooner made his appearance, than the old romances
+vanished like mist before the sun. The ridicule was so striking, that
+even the warmest admirers of Amadis and his posterity seemed to awake
+from a dream, and reflected with amazement upon their former
+infatuation. Every dispassionate reader was charmed with the humorous
+characters of the knight and squire, who straight became the favourites
+of his fancy; he was delighted with the variety of entertaining
+incidents, and considered the author’s good sense and purity of stile
+with admiration and applause.
+
+He informs us, by the mouth of the batchelor Sampson Carrasco, that even
+before the publication of the second part, twelve thousand copies of the
+first were already in print, besides a new impression then working off
+at Antwerp. ‘The very children,’ says he, ‘handle it, boys read it, men
+understand, and old people applaud the performance. It is no sooner laid
+down by one, than another takes it up, some struggling, and some
+entreating for a sight of it; in fine, this history is the most
+delightful and least prejudicial entertainment that ever was seen; for,
+in the whole book, there is not the least shadow of a dishonourable
+word, nor one thought unworthy of a good catholick.’
+
+Nor was this applause confined to the kingdoms and territories of Spain.
+The fame of Don Quixote diffused itself through all the civilized
+countries of Europe; and the work was so much admired in France, that
+some gentlemen who attended the French ambassador to Madrid, in a
+conversation with the licentiate Marques Torres, chaplain to the
+archbishop of Toledo, expressed their surprize that Cervantes was not
+maintained from the publick treasury, as the honour and pride of the
+Spanish nation. Nay, this work, which was first published at Madrid in
+the year 1605, had the good fortune to extort the approbation of royalty
+itself: Philip III. standing in a balcony of his palace, and surveying
+the adjacent country, perceived a student on the bank of the Manzanares,
+reading a book, and every now and then striking his forehead and
+bursting out into loud fits of laughter. His majesty having observed his
+emotions for some time, ‘That student,’ said he, ‘is either mad, or
+reading Don Quixote.’ Some of the courtiers in attendance, had the
+curiosity to go out and enquire, and actually found the scholar engaged
+in the adventures of our Manchegan.
+
+As the book was dedicated to the Duke de Bejar, we may naturally suppose
+that nobleman, either by his purse or interest, obtained the author’s
+discharge from prison; for he congratulates himself upon the protection
+of such a patron, in certain verses prefixed to the book, and supposed
+to be written by Urganda the unknown. He afterwards attracted the notice
+of the Count De Lemos, who seems to have been his chief and favourite
+benefactor; and even enjoyed a small share of the countenance of the
+cardinal archbishop of Toledo: so that we cannot, with any probability,
+espouse the opinion of those who believe his Don Quixote was intended as
+a satire upon the administration of that nobleman. Nor is there the
+least plausible reason for thinking his aim was to ridicule the conduct
+of Charles V. whose name he never mentions without expressions of the
+utmost reverence and regard. Indeed, his own indigence was a more severe
+satire than any thing he could have invented against the ministry of
+Philip III. for, though their protection kept him from starving, it did
+not exempt him from the difficulties and mortifications of want; and no
+man of taste and humanity can reflect upon his character and
+circumstances, without being shocked at the barbarous indifference of
+his patrons. What he obtained was not the offering of liberality and
+taste, but the scanted alms of compassion: he was not respected as a
+genius, but relieved as a beggar.
+
+One would hardly imagine that an author could languish in the shade of
+poverty and contempt, while his works afforded entertainment and delight
+to whole nations, and even sovereigns were found in the number of his
+admirers; but Cervantes had the misfortune to write in the reign of a
+prince whose disposition was sordid, and whose talents, naturally mean,
+had received no manner of cultivation; so that his head was altogether
+untinctured with science, and his heart an utter stranger to the virtues
+of beneficence. Nor did the liberal arts derive the least encouragement
+from his ministry, which was ever weak and wavering. The Duke De Lerma
+seems to have been a proud, irresolute, shallow-brained politician,
+whose whole attention was employed in preserving the good graces of his
+master; though, notwithstanding all his efforts, he still fluctuated
+between favour and disgrace, and at last was fain to shelter himself
+under the hat of a cardinal. As for the Count de Lemos, who had some
+share in the administration, he affected to patronize men of genius,
+though he had hardly penetration enough to distinguish merit; and the
+little taste he possessed was so much warped by vanity and self-conceit,
+that there was no other avenue to his friendship but the road of
+adulation and panegyrick: we need not, therefore, wonder that his bounty
+was so sparingly bestowed upon Cervantes, whose conscious worth and
+spirit would not suffer him to practise such servility of prostration.
+
+Rather than stoop so far beneath the dignity of his own character, he
+resolved to endure the severest stings of fortune; and, for a series of
+years, wrestled with inconceivable vexation and distress. Even in this
+low situation, he was not exempted from the ill offices of those who
+envied his talents and his fame. The bad writers vilified his genius,
+and censured his morals; they construed Don Quixote into an impertinent
+libel, and endeavoured to depreciate his Exemplary Novels, which were
+published at Madrid, in the year 1613. This performance is such as might
+be expected from the invention and elegance of Cervantes, and was
+accordingly approved by the best judges of his time. Indeed, it must
+have been a great consolation to him, in the midst of his misfortunes,
+to see himself celebrated by the choicest wits of Spain; and, among the
+rest, by the renowned Lope De Vega, prince of the Spanish theatre, who,
+both during the life and after the death of our author, mentioned him in
+the most respectful terms of admiration[9].
+
+But, of all the insults to which he was exposed from the malevolence of
+mankind, nothing provoked him so much, as the outrage he sustained, from
+the insolence and knavery of an author, who, while he was preparing the
+second part of Don Quixote for the press, in the year 1614, published a
+performance, intitled, The Second Volume of the sage Hidalgo Don Quixote
+De La Mancha, containing his third sally. Composed by the licentiate
+Alonzo Fernandez De Avellaneda, a native of Tordesillas; dedicated to
+the alcalde, regidors, and gentlemen, of the noble town of Argamasilla,
+the happy country of Don Quixote De La Mancha. This impostor, not
+contented with having robbed Cervantes of his plan, and, as some people
+believe, of a good part of his copy, attacked him personally, in his
+preface, in the most virulent manner; accusing him of envy, malice,
+peevishness, and rancour; reproaching him with his poverty, and taxing
+him with having abused his cotemporary writers, particularly Lope De
+Vega, under the shadow of whose reputation this spurious writer takes
+shelter, pretending to have been lashed, together with that great
+genius, in some of our author’s critical reflections.
+
+In spite of the disguise he assumed, Cervantes discovered him to be an
+Arragonian; and in all probability knew his real name, which, however,
+he did not think proper to transmit to posterity; and his silence in
+this particular was the result either of discretion, or contempt. If he
+was a person of consequence, as some people suppose, it was undoubtedly
+prudent in Cervantes to pretend ignorance of his true name and quality;
+because, under the shadow of that pretence, he could the more securely
+chastise him for his dullness, scurrility, and presumption: but if he
+knew him to be a man of no character or estimation in life, he ought to
+have deemed him altogether unworthy of his resentment; for his
+production was such as could not possibly prejudice our author’s
+interest or reputation. It is altogether void of invention and
+propriety; the characters of Don Quixote and Sancho are flattened into
+the most insipid absurdity; the adventures are unentertaining and
+improbable; and the stile barbarous, swoln, and pedantick.
+
+Howsoever Saavedra’s fortune might have been affected by this fraudulent
+anticipation, I am persuaded, from the consideration of his magnanimity,
+that he would have looked upon the attempt with silent disdain, had the
+fictitious Avellaneda abstained from personal abuse; but finding himself
+so injuriously upbraided with crimes which his soul abhorred, he gave a
+loose to his indignation and ridicule, which appear through the preface
+and second part of Don Quixote, in a variety of animadversions equally
+witty and severe. Indeed, the genuine continuation, which was published
+in the year 1615, convinced the world that no other person could
+compleat the plan of the original projector. It was received with
+universal joy and approbation; and in a very little time translated into
+the languages of Italy, France, England, and other countries, where,
+though the knight appeared to disadvantage, he was treated as a noble
+stranger of superlative merit and distinction.
+
+In the year after the publication of his novels, Cervantes ushered into
+the world a poem called, A Voyage to Parnassus, dedicated to Don Rodrigo
+De Tapia, knight of St. Jago. This performance is an ironical satire on
+the Spanish poets of his time, written in imitation of Cæsar Caporali,
+who lashed his cotemporaries of Italy under the same title; though
+Saavedra seems to have had also another scope, namely, to complain of
+the little regard that was paid to his own age and talents. Those who
+will not allow this piece to be an excellent poem, cannot help owning
+that it abounds with wit and manly satire; and that nothing could be a
+more keen reproach upon the taste and patronage of the times, than the
+dialogue that passes between him and Apollo; to whom, after having made
+a bold, yet just recapitulation of his own success in writing, he
+pathetically complains, that he was denied a seat among his brethren;
+and takes occasion to observe, that rewards were not bestowed according
+to merit, but in consequence of interest and favour.
+
+He has, upon other occasions, made severe remarks upon the scarcity of
+patrons among the nobility of Spain, and even aimed the shafts of his
+satire at the throne itself. In his dedication of the second part of Don
+Quixote, to the Count De Lemos, he proceeds in this ironical strain:
+‘But no person expresses a greater desire of seeing my Don Quixote, than
+the mighty Emperor of China, who, about a month ago, sent me a letter by
+an express, desiring, or rather beseeching, me to supply him with a copy
+of that performance, as he intended to build and endow a college for
+teaching the Spanish language from my book, and was resolved to make me
+rector or principal teacher. I asked if his majesty had sent me any
+thing towards defraying the charges; and, when he answered in the
+negative, “Why, then, friend,” said I, “you may return to China as soon
+as you please; for my own part, I am not in a state of health to
+undertake such a long journey: besides, I am not only weak in body, but
+still weaker in purse, and so I am the emperor’s most humble servant.”
+In short, emperor for emperor, and monarch for monarch, to take one with
+the other, and set the hare’s head against the goose giblets, there is
+the noble Count De Lemos, at Naples, who, without any rectorships,
+supports, protects, and favours me, to my heart’s content.’
+
+This facetious paragraph certainly alludes to some unsubstantial promise
+he had received from the court. At the same time I cannot help
+observing, that his gratitude and acknowledgment to the Count De Lemos,
+seem to have greatly exceeded the obligation; for, at this very time,
+while he is extolling his generosity, he gives us to understand that his
+circumstances were extremely indigent.
+
+At the very time of this dedication, the poverty of Cervantes had
+increased to such a degree of distress, that he was fain to sell eight
+plays, and as many interludes, to Juan Villaroel, because he had neither
+means nor credit for printing them at his own expence. These theatrical
+pieces, which were published at Madrid in the year 1615, though counted
+inferior to many productions of Lope De Vega, have nevertheless merit
+enough to persuade the discerning reader that they would have succeeded
+in the representation; but he was no favourite with the players, who
+have always arrogated to themselves the prerogative of judging and
+rejecting the productions of the drama; and, as they forbore to offer,
+he disdained to solicit their acceptance. The truth is, he considered
+actors as the servants of the publick, who, though entitled to a certain
+degree of favour and encouragement for the entertainment they afforded,
+ought ever to demean themselves with modesty and respect for their
+benefactors; and he had often professed himself an enemy to the
+self-sufficiency, insolence, and outrageous behaviour of the king’s
+company; some of whom had been guilty of the most flagrant crimes, and
+even committed murder with impunity.
+
+It is sometimes in the power of the most inconsiderable wretch to
+mortify a character of the highest dignity. Cervantes, notwithstanding
+his contempt of such petty criticks, could not help feeling the
+petulance of a puny player, who presumed to depreciate the talents of
+this venerable father of the stage. ‘Some years ago[10],’ says he, ‘I
+had recourse again to my old amusement; and, on the supposition that the
+times were not altered since my name was in some estimation, I composed
+a few pieces for the stage; but found no birds in last year’s nests: my
+meaning is, I could find no player who would ask for my performances,
+though the whole company knew they were finished; so that I threw them
+aside, and condemned them to perpetual silence. About this time, a
+certain bookseller told me he would have purchased my plays, had he not
+been prevented by an actor, who said, that from my prose much might be
+expected, but nothing from my verse. I confess, I was not a little
+chagrined at hearing this declaration; and said to myself, “Either I am
+quite altered, or the times are greatly improved, contrary to common
+observation, by which the past is always preferred to the present.” I
+revised my comedies, together with some interludes which had lain some
+time in a corner, and I did not think them so wretched, but that they
+might appeal from the muddy brain of this player, to the clearer
+perception of other actors less scrupulous and more judicious. Being
+quite out of humour, I parted with the copy to a bookseller, who offered
+me a tolerable price: I took his money, without giving myself any
+farther trouble about the actors, and he printed them as you see. I
+could wish they were the best in the world; or, at least, possessed of
+some merit. Gentle reader, thou wilt soon see how they are, and if thou
+canst find any thing to thy liking, and afterwards should happen to meet
+with my back-biting actor, desire him, from me, to take care and mend
+himself; for I offend no man: as for the plays, thou mayest tell him,
+they contain no glaring nonsense, no palpable absurdities.’
+
+The source of this indifference towards Cervantes, we can easily
+explain, by observing that Lope De Vega had, by this time, engrossed the
+theatre, and the favour of the publick, to such a degree, as ensured
+success to all his performances; so that the players would not run any
+risk of miscarriage, in exhibiting the productions of an old neglected
+veteran, who had neither inclination nor ability to support his
+theatrical pieces by dint of interest and cabal. Far from being able to
+raise factions in his favour, he could hardly subsist in the most
+parsimonious manner, and in all probability would have actually starved,
+had not the charity of the Count De Lemos enabled him barely to breathe.
+
+The last work he finished was a novel, intitled, The Troubles of
+Persiles and Sigismunda; which, however, he did not live to see in
+print. This child of his old age he mentions in the warmest terms of
+paternal affection[11], preferring it to all the rest of his
+productions; a compliment which every author pays to the youngest
+offspring of his genius; for, whatever sentence the world may pronounce,
+every man thinks he daily improves in experience and understanding; and
+that in refusing the pre-eminence to his last effort, he would fairly
+own the decay and degeneracy of his own talents.
+
+We must not, however, impute the encomiums which Cervantes bestows upon
+his last performance to this fond partiality alone; because the book has
+indubitable merit; and, as he himself says, may presume to vie with the
+celebrated romance of Heliodorus[12], in elegance of diction,
+entertaining incidents, and fecundity of invention. Before this novel
+saw the light, our author was seized with a dropsy, which gradually
+conveyed him to his grave; and nothing could give a more advantageous
+idea of his character, than the fortitude and good-humour which he
+appears to have maintained to the last moment of his life, overwhelmed
+as he was with misery, old age, and an incurable distemper. The preface
+and dedication of his Persiles and Sigismunda contain a journal of his
+last stage, by which we are enabled to guess at the precise time of his
+decease. ‘Loving reader,’ said he, ‘as two of my friends and myself were
+coming from the famous town of Esquivias—famous, I say, on a thousand
+accounts; first, for its illustrious families, and secondly, for its
+more illustrious wines, &c.—I heard somebody galloping after us, with
+intent, as I imagined, to join our company; and, indeed, he soon
+justified my conjecture, by calling out to us to ride more softly. We
+accordingly waited for this stranger; who riding up to us upon a she
+ass, appeared to be a grey student; for he was cloathed in grey, with
+country buskins, such as peasants wear to defend their legs in
+harvest-time, round-toed shoes, a sword provided, as it happened, with a
+tolerable chape, a starched band, and an even number of three-thread
+bredes; for the truth is, he had but two; and as his band would every
+now and then shift to one side, he took incredible pains to adjust it
+again. “Gentlemen,” said he, “you are going, belike, to solicit some
+post or pension at court: his eminence of Toledo must be there, to be
+sure, or the king at least, by your making such haste. In good faith I
+could hardly overtake you, though my ass hath been more than once
+applauded for a tolerable ambler.” To this address one of my companions
+replied, “We are obliged to set on at a good rate, to keep up with that
+there mettlesome nag, belonging to Signior Miguel De Cervantes.” Scarce
+had the student heard my name, when springing from the back of his ass,
+whilst his pannel fell one way, and his wallet another, he ran towards
+me, and taking hold of my stirrup, “Aye, aye,” cried he, “this is the
+sound cripple! the renowned, the merry writer; in a word, the darling of
+the muses!” In order to make some return to these high compliments, I
+threw my arms about his neck, so as that he lost his band by the
+eagerness of my embraces; and told him that he was mistaken, like many
+of my well-wishers. “I am, indeed, Cervantes,” said I; “but not the
+darling of the muses, or in any shape deserving of those encomiums you
+have bestowed: be pleased, therefore, good Signior, to remount your
+beast and let us travel together like friends the rest of the way.” The
+courteous student took my advice; and, as we jogged on softly together,
+the conversation happening to turn on the subject of my illness, the
+stranger soon pronounced my doom, by assuring me that my distemper was a
+dropsy, which all the water of the ocean, although it were not salt,
+would never be able to quench. “Therefore, Signior Cervantes,” added the
+student, “you must totally abstain from drink; but do not forget to eat
+heartily: and this regimen will effect your recovery without
+physick.”—“I have received the same advice from other people,” answered
+I, “but I cannot help drinking, as if I had been born to do nothing else
+but drink. My life is drawing to a period; and, by the daily journal of
+my pulse, which I find will have finished its course by next Sunday at
+farthest, I shall also have finished my career; so that you come in the
+very nick of time to be acquainted with me, though I shall have no
+opportunity of shewing how much I am obliged to you for your good will.”
+By this time we had reached the Toledo Bridge; where, finding we must
+part, I embraced my student once more, and he having returned the
+compliment with great cordiality, spurred up his beast, and left me as
+ill-disposed on my horse as he was ill-mounted on his ass; although my
+pen itched to be writing some humourous description of his equipage:
+but, adieu my merry friends all; for I am going to die, and I hope to
+meet you again in the other world, as happy as heart can wish.’
+
+After this adventure, which he so pleasantly relates, (nay, even in his
+last moments) he dictated a most affectionate dedication to his patron,
+the Count De Lemos, who was at that time president of the Supreme
+Council in Italy. He begins facetiously with a quotation from an old
+ballad; then proceeds to tell his excellency, that he had received
+extreme unction, and was on the brink of eternity; yet he wished he
+could live to see the count’s return, and even to finish the Weeks of
+the Garden, and the second part of Galatea, in which he had made some
+progress.
+
+This dedication was dated April 19, 1617; and, in all probability, the
+author died the very next day, as the ceremony of the unction is never
+performed until the patient is supposed to be in extremity: certain it
+is, he did not long survive this period; for, in September, a licence
+was granted to Donna Catalina De Salazar, widow of Miguel De Cervantes
+Saavedra, to print the Troubles of Persiles and Sigismunda, a northern
+history; which was accordingly published at Madrid, and afterwards
+translated into Italian.
+
+Thus have I collected and related all the material circumstances
+mentioned by history and tradition, concerning the life of Cervantes;
+which I shall conclude with the portrait of his person, drawn by his own
+pen, in the preface to his novels. His visage was sharp and aquiline,
+his hair of a chesnut colour, his forehead smooth and high, his nose
+hookish or hawkish, his eyes brisk and chearful, his mouth little, his
+beard originally of a golden hue, his upper-lip furnished with large
+mustachios, his complexion fair, his stature of the middling size; and
+he tells us, moreover, that he was thick in the shoulders, and not very
+light of foot.
+
+In a word, Cervantes, whether considered as a writer or a man, will be
+found worthy of universal approbation and esteem; and we cannot help
+applauding that fortitude and courage, which no difficulty could
+disturb, and no danger dismay; while we admire that delightful stream of
+humour and invention, which flowed so plenteous and so pure, surmounting
+all the mounds of malice and adversity.
+
+Footnote 1:
+
+ Thomas Tamayo De Vargas.
+
+Footnote 2:
+
+ Don Nicholas Antonio.
+
+Footnote 3:
+
+ He describes his departure from Madrid in these words: ‘Out of my
+ country and myself I go!’
+
+Footnote 4:
+
+ Nicholas Antonio, biblioth. Hisp.
+
+Footnote 5:
+
+ His dedication of Galatea.
+
+Footnote 6:
+
+ In the preface to his plays.
+
+Footnote 7:
+
+ F. Diego Da Haedo.
+
+Footnote 8:
+
+ To this adventure he doubtless alludes, in the story of the Captive;
+ who says, that when he and his fellow-slaves were deliberating about
+ ransoming one of their number, who should go to Valencia and Mayorca,
+ and procure a vessel with which he might return and fetch off the
+ rest, the renegado who was of their council opposed the scheme,
+ observing, that those who are once delivered seldom think of
+ performing the promises they have made in captivity: as a confirmation
+ of the truth of what he alledged, he briefly recounted a case which
+ had lately happened to some Christian gentlemen, attended with the
+ strangest circumstances ever known, even in those parts, where the
+ most uncommon and surprizing events occur almost every day.
+
+Footnote 9:
+
+ Laurèl de Apollo Selva 8.
+
+Footnote 10:
+
+ In his preface to his plays.
+
+Footnote 11:
+
+ Preface to his novels. Dedication of the last part of Don Quixote.
+
+Footnote 12:
+
+ The Loves of Theagenes and Chariclea.
+
+
+
+
+ Translator’s Note
+
+
+The translator’s aim, in this undertaking, was to maintain that
+ludicrous solemnity and self-importance by which the inimitable
+Cervantes has distinguished the character of Don Quixote, without
+raising him to the insipid rank of a dry philosopher, or debasing him to
+the melancholy circumstances and unentertaining caprice of an ordinary
+madman; and to preserve the native humour of Sancho Panza from
+degenerating into mere proverbial phlegm, or affected buffoonery.
+
+He has endeavoured to retain the spirit and ideas, without servilely
+adhering to the literal expression of the original; from which, however,
+he has not so far deviated, as to destroy that formality of idiom, so
+peculiar to the Spaniards, and so essential to the character of the
+work.
+
+The satire and propriety of many allusions, which had been lost in the
+change of custom and lapse of time, are restored in explanatory notes;
+and the whole is conducted with that care and circumspection, which
+ought to be exerted by every author, who, in attempting to improve upon
+a task already performed, subjects himself to the most invidious
+comparison.
+
+
+
+
+ PREFACE TO THE READER.
+
+
+Idle reader, without an oath thou mayest believe, that I wish this book,
+as the child of my understanding, were the most beautiful, sprightly,
+and discreet production, that ever was conceived. But it was not in my
+power to contravene the order of nature: in consequence of which, every
+creature procreates its own resemblance. What, therefore, could be
+engendered in my barren, ill-cultivated genius, but a dry, meagre
+offspring, wayward, capricious, and full of whimsical notions peculiar
+to my own imagination, as if produced in a prison, which is the seat of
+inconvenience, and the habitation of every dismal sound[13]. Quiet
+solitude, pleasant fields, serene weather, purling streams, and
+tranquillity of mind, contribute so much to the fecundity even of the
+most barren genius, that it will bring forth productions so fair as to
+awaken the admiration and delight of mankind.
+
+A man who is so unfortunate as to have an ugly child, destitute of every
+grace and favourable endowment, may be so hood-winked by paternal
+tenderness, that he cannot perceive his defects; but, on the contrary,
+looks upon every blemish as a beauty, and recounts to his friends every
+instance of his folly as a sample of his wit: but I, who, though
+seemingly the parent, am no other than the step-father of Don Quixote,
+will not sail with the stream of custom; nor, like some others,
+supplicate thee, gentle reader, with the tears in my eyes, to pardon or
+conceal the faults which thou mayest spy in this production. Thou art
+neither its father nor kinsman; hast thy own soul in thy own body, and a
+will as free as the finest; thou art in thy own house, of which I hold
+thee as absolute master as the king of his revenue; and thou knowest the
+common saying, ‘Under my cloak the king is a joke.’ These considerations
+free and exempt thee from all manner of restraint and obligation; so
+that thou mayest fully and frankly declare thy opinion of this history,
+without fear of calumny for thy censure, and without hope of recompence
+for thy approbation.
+
+I wished only to present thee with the performance, clean, neat, and
+naked, without the ornament of a preface, and unincumbered with an
+innumerable catalogue of such sonnets, epigrams, and commendatory
+verses, as are generally prefixed to the productions of the present age;
+for I can assure thee, that although the composition of the book hath
+cost me some trouble, I have found more difficulty in writing this
+preface, which is now under thy inspection: divers and sundry times did
+I seize the pen, and as often laid it aside, for want of knowing what to
+say; and during this uneasy state of suspence, while I was one day
+ruminating on the subject, with the paper before me, the quill behind my
+ear, my elbow fixed on the table, and my cheek leaning on my hand; a
+friend of mine, who possesses a great fund of humour and an excellent
+understanding, suddenly entered the apartment, and finding me in this
+musing posture, asked the cause of my being so contemplative. As I had
+no occasion to conceal the nature of my perplexity, I told him I was
+studying a Preface for the History of Don Quixote; a talk which I found
+so difficult, that I was resolved to desist, and even suppress the
+adventures of such a noble cavalier: for you may easily suppose how much
+I must be confounded at the animadversions of that ancient law-giver the
+vulgar, when it shall see me, after so many years that I have slept in
+silence and oblivion, produce, in my old age, a performance as dry as a
+rush, barren of invention, meagre in stile, beggarly in conceit, and
+utterly destitute of wit and erudition; without quotations in the
+margin, or annotations at the end, as we see in other books, let them be
+never so fabulous and profane; indeed, they are generally so stuffed
+with apothegms from Aristotle, Plato, and the whole body of
+philosophers, that they excite the admiration of the readers, who look
+upon such authors as men of unbounded knowledge, eloquence, and
+erudition. When they bring a citation from the Holy Scripture, one would
+take them for so many Saint Thomas’s, and other doctors of the church;
+herein observing such ingenious decorum, that in one line they will
+represent a frantick lover, and in the very next begin with a godly
+sermon, from which the Christian readers, and even the hearers, receive
+much comfort and edification. Now, my book must appear without all these
+advantages; for I can neither quote in the margin, nor note in the end:
+nor do I know what authors I have imitated, that I may, like the rest of
+my brethren, prefix them to the work in alphabetical order, beginning
+with Aristotle, and ending in Xenophon, Zoilus, or Zeuxis, though one
+was a back biter, and the other a painter. My history must likewise be
+published without poems at the beginning, at least without sonnets
+written by dukes, marquisses, counts, bishops, ladies, and celebrated
+poets: although, should I make the demand, I know two or three
+good-natured friends, who would oblige me with such verses as should not
+be equalled by the most famous poetry in Spain.
+
+‘In a word, my good friend,’ said I, ‘Signior Don Quixote shall be
+buried in the archives of La Mancha, until Heaven shall provide some
+person to adorn him with those decorations he seems to want; for I find
+myself altogether unequal to the task, through insufficiency and want of
+learning; and because I am naturally too bashful and indolent to go in
+quest of authors to say what I myself can say as well without their
+assistance. Hence arose my thoughtfulness and meditation, which you will
+not wonder at, now that you have heard the cause.’ My friend having
+listened attentively to my remonstrances, slapped his forehead with the
+palm of his hand; and, bursting into a loud laugh, ‘’Fore God! brother,’
+said he, ‘I am now undeceived of an error, in which I have lived during
+the whole term of our acquaintance; for I always looked upon you as a
+person of prudence and discretion; but now, I see, you are as far from
+that character as heaven is distant from the earth. What! is it possible
+that such a trifling inconvenience, so easily remedied, should have
+power to mortify and perplex a genius like yours, brought to such
+maturity, and so well calculated to demolish and surmount much greater
+difficulties? In good faith, this does not proceed from want of ability,
+but from excessive indolence, that impedes the exercise of reason. If
+you would be convinced of the truth of what I alledge, give me the
+hearing, and, in the twinkling of an eye, all your difficulties shall
+vanish, and a remedy be prescribed for all those defects which, you say,
+perplex your understanding, and deter you from ushering to the light
+your history of the renowned Don Quixote, the luminary and sole mirror
+of knight-errantry.’ Hearing this declaration, I desired he would tell
+me in what manner he proposed to fill up the vacuity of my apprehension,
+to diffuse light, and reduce to order the chaos of my confusion; and he
+replied, ‘Your first objection, namely, the want of sonnets, epigrams,
+and commendatory verses from persons of rank and gravity, may be
+obviated, by your taking the trouble to compose them yourself, and then
+you may christen them by any name you shall think proper to chuse,
+fathering them upon Prestor John of the Indies, or the Emperor of
+Trebisond; who, I am well informed, were very famous poets: and even
+should this intelligence be untrue, and a few pedants and batchelors of
+arts should backbite and grumble at your conduct, you need not value
+them three farthings; for although they convict you of a lye, they
+cannot cut off the hand that wrote it[14].
+
+‘With regard to the practice of quoting in the margin, such books and
+authors as have furnished you with sentences and sayings for the
+embellishment of your history, you have nothing to do, but to season the
+work with some Latin maxims, which your own memory will suggest, or a
+little industry in searching easily obtain: for example, in treating of
+freedom and captivity, you may say, _Non bene pro toto libertas venditur
+auro_; and quote Horace, or whom you please, in the margin. If the power
+of death happens to be your subject, you have at hand, _Pallida mors
+æquo pulsat pede pauperum tabernas regumque turres_. And expatiating
+upon that love and friendship which God commands us to entertain even
+for our enemies, you may have recourse to the Holy Scripture, though you
+should have never so little curiosity, and say, in the very words of God
+himself, _Ego autem dico vobis, diligite inimicos vestros_. In
+explaining the nature of malevolence, you may again extract from the
+Gospel, _De corde exeunt cogitationes malæ_. And the instability of
+friends may be aptly illustrated by this distich of Cato, _Donec eris
+felix, multos numerabis amicos; tempora si fuerint nubila, solus eris_.
+By these, and other such scraps of Latin, you may pass for an able
+grammarian; a character of no small honour and advantage in these days.
+And as to the annotations at the end of the book, you may safely furnish
+them in this manner: when you chance to write about giants, be sure to
+mention Goliah; and this name alone, which costs you nothing, will
+afford a grand annotation, couched in these words, “The giant Golias, or
+Goliat, was a Philistine, whom the shepherd David slew with a stone from
+a sling, in the valley of Terebinthus, as it is written in such a
+chapter of the book of Kings.”
+
+‘If you have a mind to display your erudition and knowledge of
+cosmography, take an opportunity to introduce the River Tagus into your
+history, and this will supply you with another famous annotation, thus
+expressed. “The River Tagus, so called from a king of Spain, takes its
+rise in such a place, and is lost in the sea, after having kissed the
+walls of the famous city of Lisbon; and is said to have golden sands,
+&c.” If you treat of robbers, I will relate the story of Cacus, which I
+have by rote. If of harlots, the Bishop of Mondoneda will lend you a
+Lamia, a Lais, and a Flora; and such a note will greatly redound to your
+credit. When you write of cruelty, Ovid will surrender his Medea. When
+you mention wizzards and inchanters, you will find a Calypso in Homer,
+and a Circe in Virgil. If you have occasion to speak of valiant
+captains, Julius Cæsar stands ready drawn in his own Commentaries; and
+from Plutarch you may extract a thousand Alexanders. If your theme be
+love, and you have but two ounces of the Tuscan tongue, you will light
+upon Leon Hebreo, who will fill up the measure of your desire: and if
+you do not chuse to travel into foreign countries, you have at home
+Fonseca’s Treatise on the Love of God, in which all that you, or the
+most ingenious critick can desire, is fully decyphered and discussed. In
+a word, there is nothing more to be done, than to procure a number of
+these names, and hint at their particular stories in your text; and to
+leave me the talk of making annotations and quotations, with which I
+will engage, on pain of death, to fill up all the margins, besides four
+whole sheets at the end of the book. Let us now proceed to the citation
+of authors, so frequent in other books, and so little used in your
+performance; the remedy is obvious and easy; take the trouble to find a
+book that quotes the whole tribe alphabetically, as you observed, from
+Alpha to Omega, and transfer them into your book; and though the
+absurdity should appear never so glaring, as there is no necessity for
+using such names, it will signify nothing. Nay, perhaps, some reader
+will be weak enough to believe you have actually availed yourself of all
+those authors, in the simple and sincere history you have composed; and,
+if such a large catalogue of writers should answer no other purpose, it
+may serve at first sight to give some authority to the production: nor
+will any person take the trouble to examine, whether you have or have
+not followed those originals, because he can reap no benefit from his
+labour. But, if I am not mistaken, your book needs none of those
+embellishments in which you say it is defective: for it is one continued
+satire upon books of chivalry; a subject which Aristotle never
+investigated, St. Basil never mentioned, and Cicero never explained. The
+punctuality of truth, and the observations of astrology, fall not within
+the fabulous relation of our adventures; to the description of which,
+neither the proportions of geometry, nor the confirmation of rhetorical
+arguments, are of the least importance: nor hath it any connection with
+preaching, or mingling divine truths with human imagination; a mixture
+which no Christian’s fancy should conceive. It only seeks to avail
+itself of imitation; and the more perfect this is, the more entertaining
+the book will be: new, as your sole aim in writing, is to invalidate the
+authority, and ridicule the absurdity, of those books of chivalry, which
+have, as it were, fascinated the eyes and judgment of the world, and in
+particular of the vulgar, you have no occasion to go a begging maxims
+from philosophers, exhortations from Holy Writ, fables from poets,
+speeches from orators, or miracles from saints; your business is, with
+plain, significant, well-chosen, and elegant words, to render your
+periods sonorous, and your stile entertaining; to give spirit and
+expression to all your descriptions, and communicate your ideas without
+obscurity and confusion. You must endeavour to write in such a manner as
+to convert melancholy into mirth, increase good-humour, entertain the
+ignorant, excite the admiration of the learned, escape the contempt of
+gravity, and attract applause from persons of ingenuity and taste.
+Finally, let your aim be levelled against that ill-founded bulwark of
+idle books of chivalry, abhorred by many, but applauded by more; which
+if you can batter down, you will have atchieved no inconsiderable
+exploit.’
+
+I listened to my friend’s advice in profound silence, and his remarks
+made such impression upon my mind, that I admitted them without
+hesitation or dispute; and resolved that they should appear instead of a
+Preface. Thou wilt, therefore, gentle reader, perceive his discretion,
+and my good luck in finding such a counsellor in such an emergency; nor
+wilt thou be sorry to receive, thus genuine and undisguised, the History
+of the renowned Don Quixote de La Mancha, who, in the opinion of all the
+people that live in the district of Montiel, was the most virtuous and
+valiant knight who had appeared for many years in that neighbourhood. I
+shall not pretend to enhance the merit of having introduced thee to such
+a famous and honourable cavalier; but I expect thanks for having made
+thee acquainted with Sancho Panza, in whom I think are united all the
+squirish graces which we find scattered through the whole tribe of vain
+books written on the subject of chivalry. So, praying God will give thee
+health, without forgetting such an humble creature as me, I bid thee
+heartily farewel.
+
+Footnote 13:
+
+ This is a strong presumption that the first part of Don Quixote was
+ actually written in a gaol.
+
+Footnote 14:
+
+ Alluding to the loss of his hand in the battle of Lepanto.
+
+
+
+
+ VOLUME THE FIRST.
+ PART I.
+
+
+ BOOK I.
+
+
+ CHAP. I.
+ OF THE QUALITY AND AMUSEMENTS
+ OF THE RENOWNED DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA.
+
+
+In a certain corner of La Mancha, the name of which I do not chuse to
+remember, there lately lived one of those country gentlemen, who adorn
+their halls with a rusty lance and worm-eaten target, and ride forth on
+the skeleton of a horse, to course with a sort of a starved greyhound.
+
+Three-fourths of his income were scarce sufficient to afford a dish of
+hodgepodge, in which the mutton bore no proportion to the beef[15], for
+dinner; a plate of salmagundy, commonly at supper[16]; gripes and
+grumblings on Saturdays[17], lentils on Fridays, and the addition of a
+pigeon or some such thing on the Lord’s day. The remaining part of his
+revenue was consumed in the purchase of a fine black suit, with velvet
+breeches, and slippers of the same, for holidays; and a coat of
+home-spun, which he wore in honour of his country during the rest of the
+week.
+
+He maintained a female housekeeper turned of forty, a niece of about
+half that age, and a trusty young fellow, fit for field and market, who
+could turn his hand to any thing, either to saddle the horse or handle
+the hough[18].
+
+Our squire, who bordered upon fifty, was of a tough constitution,
+extremely meagre, and hard featured, an early riser, and in point of
+exercise, another Nimrod[19]. He is said to have gone by the name of
+Quixada, or Quesada, (for in this particular the authors who mention
+that circumstance disagree) though, from the most probable conjectures,
+we may conclude that he was called by the significant name of
+Quixada[20]; but this is of small importance to the history, in the
+course of which it will be sufficient if we swerve not a tittle from the
+truth.
+
+Be it known, therefore, that this said honest gentleman, at his leisure
+hours, which engrossed the greatest part of the year, addicted himself
+to the reading of books of chivalry, which he perused with such rapture
+and application, that he not only forgot the pleasures of the chace, but
+also utterly neglected the management of his estate: nay, to such a pass
+did his curiosity and madness in this particular drive him, that he sold
+many good acres of Terra Firma, to purchase books of knight-errantry,
+with which he furnished his library to the utmost of his power; but none
+of them pleased him so much as those that were written by the famous
+Feliciano De Silva, whom he admired as the pearl of all authors, for the
+brilliancy of his prose, and the beautiful perplexity of his expression.
+How was he transported, when he read those amorous complaints, and
+doughty challenges, that so often occur in his works!
+
+‘The reason of the unreasonable usage my reason has met with, so
+unreasons my reason, that I have reason to complain of your beauty!’ And
+how did he enjoy the following flower of composition! ‘The high heaven
+of your divinity, which with stars divinely fortifies your beauty, and
+renders you meritorious of that merit, which by your highness is
+merited.’
+
+The poor gentleman lost his senses in poring over, and attempting to
+discover the meaning of these and other such rhapsodies, which Aristotle
+himself would not be able to unravel, were he to rise from the dead for
+that purpose only. He could not comprehend the probability of those
+direful wounds, given and received by Don Bellianis, whose face and
+whose carcase must have remained quite covered with marks and scars,
+even allowing him to have been cured by the most expert surgeons of the
+age in which he lived.
+
+He, notwithstanding, bestowed great commendations on the author, who
+concludes his book, with the promise of finishing that interminable
+adventure; and was more than once inclined to seize the quill, with a
+view of performing what was left undone; nay, he would have actually
+accomplished the affair, and published it accordingly, had not
+reflections of greater moment employed his imagination, and diverted him
+from the execution of that design.
+
+Divers and obstinate were the disputes he maintained against the parson
+of the parish, (a man of some learning, who had taken his degrees at
+Siguenza[21],) on that puzzling question, whether Palmerin of England,
+or Amadis De Gaul, was the most illustrious knight-errant: but master
+Nicholas, who acted as barber to the village, affirmed, that none of
+them equalled the knight of the sun, or indeed could be compared to him
+in any degree, except Don Galaor, brother of Amadis De Gaul; for his
+disposition was adapted to all emergencies; he was neither such a
+precise, nor such a puling coxcomb, as his brother; and in point of
+valour, his equal at least.
+
+So eager and entangled was our hidalgo[22], in this kind of history,
+that he would often read from morning to night, and from night to
+morning again, without interruption; till at last the moisture of his
+brain being quite exhausted with indefatigable watching and study, he
+fairly lost his wits; all that he had read of quarrels, inchantments,
+battles, challenges, wounds, tortures, amorous complaints, and other
+improbable conceits, took full possession of his fancy; and he believed
+all those romantick exploits so implicitly, that, in his opinion, the
+Holy Scripture was not more true. He observed that Cid Ruydias was an
+excellent knight; but not equal to the lord of the flaming-sword, who
+with one back-stroke had cut two fierce and monstrous giants through the
+middle. He had still a better opinion of Bernardo Del Carpio; who, at
+the battle of Roncevalles, put the inchanted Orlando to death[23], by
+the same means that Hercules used when he strangled the earth born
+Anteus. Neither was he silent in the praise of Morgante; who, though of
+that gigantick race which is noted for insolence and incivility, was
+perfectly affable and well-bred. But his chief favourite was Reynaldo of
+Montalban, whom he hugely admired for his prowess, in sallying from his
+castle to rob travellers; and, above all things, for his dexterity in
+stealing that idol of the impostor Mahomet, which, according to the
+history, was of solid gold. For an opportunity of pummelling the traitor
+Galalon[24], he would willingly have given his house-keeper, body and
+soul; nay, and his niece into the bargain. In short, his understanding
+being quite perverted, he was seized with the strangest whim that ever
+entered the brain of a madman: this was no other than a full persuasion,
+that it was highly expedient and necessary, not only for his own honour,
+but also for the good of the publick, that he should profess
+knight-errantry, and ride through the world in arms, to seek adventures,
+and conform in all points to the practice of those itinerant heroes
+whose exploits he had read; redressing all manner of grievances, and
+courting all occasions of exposing himself to such dangers, as in the
+event would entitle him to everlasting renown. This poor lunatick looked
+upon himself already as good as seated, by his own single valour, on the
+throne of Trebisond; and, intoxicated with these agreeable vapours of
+his unaccountable folly, resolved to put his design in practice
+forthwith.
+
+In the first place he cleaned an old suit of armour, which had belonged
+to some of his ancestors, and which he found in his garret, where it had
+lain for several ages, quite covered over with mouldiness and rust; but
+having scoured and put it to rights, as well as he could, he perceived,
+that instead of a compleat helmet, there was only a simple head-piece
+without a beaver. This unlucky defect, however, his industry supplied by
+a vizor, which he made of paste-board, and fixed so artificially to the
+morrion, that it looked like an entire helmet. True it is, that in order
+to try if it was strong enough to risk his jaws in, he unsheathed his
+sword, and bestowed upon it two hearty strokes, the first of which in a
+twinkling undid his whole week’s labour. He did not at all approve of
+the facility with which he hewed it in pieces; and therefore, to secure
+himself from any such danger for the future, went to work anew. He faced
+it with a plate of iron, in such a manner as that he remained satisfied
+of its strength without putting it to a second trial, and looked upon it
+as a most finished piece of armour.
+
+He next visited his horse, which (though he had more corners than a
+rial[25], being as lean as Gonela’s, that _tantum pellis et ossa fuit_)
+nevertheless, in his eye, appeared infinitely preferable to Alexander’s
+Bucephalus, or the Cid’s Babieca. Four days he consumed in inventing a
+name for this remarkable steed; suggesting to himself what an
+impropriety it would be if an horse of his qualities, belonging to such
+a renowned knight, should go without some sounding and significant
+appellation: he therefore resolved to accommodate him with one that
+should not only declare his past, but also his present capacity; for he
+thought it but reasonable, that since his master had altered his
+condition, he should also change his horse’s name, and invest him with
+some sublime and sonorous epithet, suitable to the new order and
+employment he professed. Accordingly, after having chosen, rejected,
+amended, tortured, and revolved, a world of names in his imagination, he
+fixed upon Rozinante[26], an appellation, in his opinion, lofty,
+sonorous, and expressive, not only of his former, but likewise of his
+present situation, which entitled him to the preference over all other
+horses under the sun. Having thus denominated his horse, so much to his
+own satisfaction, he was desirous of doing himself the like justice; and
+after eight days study, actually assumed the title of Don Quixote: from
+whence, as hath been observed, the authors of this authentick history
+concluded, that his former name must have been Quixada, and not Quesada,
+as others are pleased to affirm. But recollecting that the valiant
+Amadis, not satisfied with that simple appellation, added to it that of
+his country; and in order to dignify the place of his nativity, called
+himself Amadis De Gaul. He resolved, like a worthy knight, to follow
+such an illustrious example, and assume the name of Don Quixote de La
+Mancha, which, in his opinion, fully expressed his generation, and at
+the same time reflected infinite honour on his fortunate country.
+
+Accordingly, his armour being scowered, his beaver fitted to his
+head-piece, his steed accommodated with a name, and his own dignified
+with these additions, he reflected, that nothing else was wanting but a
+lady to inspire him with love; for a knight-errant without a mistress,
+would be like a tree destitute of leaves and fruit, or a body without a
+soul. ‘If,’ said he, ‘for my sins, or rather for my honour, I should
+engage with some giant, an adventure common in knight-errantry, and
+overthrow him in the field, by cleaving him in twain, or, in short,
+disarm and subdue him; will it not be highly proper that I should have a
+mistress, to whom I may send my conquered foe; who, coming into the
+presence of the charming fair, will fall upon his knees, and say, in an
+humble and submissive tone; “Incomparable princess, I am the giant
+Carculiambro, lord of the island Malindrania, who being vanquished in
+single combat by the invincible knight Don Quixote de La Mancha, am
+commanded by him to present myself before your beauty, that I may be
+disposed of, according to the pleasure of your highness?”’ How did the
+heart of our worthy knight dance with joy when he uttered this address;
+and still more, when he found a lady worthy of his affection! This, they
+say, was an hale, buxom, country wench, called Aldonza Lorenço, who
+lived in the neighbourhood, and with whom he had formerly been in love;
+though, by all accounts, she never knew, nor gave herself the least
+concern about the matter. Her he looked upon as one qualified, in all
+respects, to be the queen of his inclinations; and putting his invention
+again to the rack for a name that should bear some affinity with her
+own, and at the same time become a princess or lady of quality, he
+determined to call her Dulcinea del Toboso, she being a native of that
+place; a name, in his opinion, musical, romantick, and expressive, like
+the rest which he had appropriated to himself and his concerns.
+
+Footnote 15:
+
+ Mutton in Spain is counted greatly preferable to beef.
+
+Footnote 16:
+
+ _Salpicon_, which is the word in the original, is no other than cold
+ beef sliced, and eaten with oil, vinegar, and pepper.
+
+Footnote 17:
+
+ Gripes and grumblings, in Spanish _duelos y quebrantos_; the true
+ meaning of which the former translators have been at great pains to
+ investigate, as the importance of the subject (no doubt) required. But
+ their labours have, unhappily, ended in nothing else but conjectures,
+ which, for the entertainment and instruction of our readers, we beg
+ leave to repeat. One interprets the phrase into collops and eggs;
+ ‘Being,’ saith he, ‘a very sorry dish.’ In this decision, however, he
+ is contradicted by another commentator, who affirms, ‘It is a mess too
+ good to mortify withal:’ neither can this virtuoso agree with a late
+ editor, who translates the passage in question into an amlet; but
+ takes occasion to fall out with Boyer for his description of that
+ dish, which he most sagaciously understands to be a ‘bacon froize,’ or
+ ‘rather fryze, from its being fried, from frit in French;’ and
+ concludes with this judicious query, ‘After all these learned
+ disquisitions, who knows but the author means a dish of nichils?’ If
+ this was his meaning, indeed, surely we may venture to conclude, that
+ fasting was very expensive in La Mancha; for the author mentions the
+ _duelos y quebrantos_ among those articles that confirmed
+ three-fourths of the knight’s income.
+
+ Having considered this momentous affair with all the deliberation it
+ deserves, we in our turn present the reader with cucumbers, greens, or
+ pease-porridge, as the fruit of our industrious researches; being
+ thereunto determined by the literal signification of the text, which
+ is not ‘grumblings and groanings,’ as the last-mentioned ingenious
+ annotator seems to think, but rather pains and breakings; and
+ evidently points at such eatables as generate and expel wind;
+ qualities (as every body knows) eminently inherent in those vegetables
+ we have mentioned as our hero’s Saturday’s repast.
+
+Footnote 18:
+
+ _Podadera_, literally signifies a pruning-hook.
+
+Footnote 19:
+
+ In the original, a lover of hunting.
+
+Footnote 20:
+
+ _Quixadas_, signifies jaws, of which our knight had an extraordinary
+ provision.
+
+Footnote 21:
+
+ Siguenza, a town situated on the banks of the Henares, in New Castile,
+ in which there is a small university.
+
+Footnote 22:
+
+ Hidalgo has much the same application in Spain as squire in England;
+ though it literally signifies the son of something, in
+ contradistinction to those who are the sons of nothing.
+
+Footnote 23:
+
+ Orlando, the supposed nephew of Charlemagne, and poetical hero of
+ Boiardo and Ariosto, is said to have been invulnerable in all parts of
+ his body, except the soles of his feet, which he therefore took care
+ to secure with double plates of armour.
+
+Footnote 24:
+
+ Galalon is said to have betrayed Charlemagne’s army at Roncevalles,
+ where it was roughly handled by the Moors, in his retreat from Spain.
+
+Footnote 25:
+
+ This is a joke upon the knight’s steed, which was so meagre, that his
+ bones stuck out like the corners of a Spanish rial, a coin of very
+ irregular shape, not unlike the figure in geometry called a trapezium.
+
+Footnote 26:
+
+ Rozinante, implies that which was formerly an ordinary horse, though
+ the _ante_ seems to have been intended by the knight as a badge of
+ distinction, by which he was ranked before all other horses.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. II.
+ OF THE SAGE DON QUIXOTE’S FIRST SALLY FROM HIS OWN HABITATION.
+
+
+These preparations being made, he could no longer resist the desire of
+executing his design; reflecting with impatience on the injury his delay
+occasioned in the world, where there was abundance of grievances to be
+redressed, wrongs to be rectified, errors to be amended, abuses to be
+reformed, and doubts to be removed; he therefore, without communicating
+his intention to any body, or being seen by a living soul, one morning
+before day, in the scorching month of July, put on his armour, mounted
+Rozinante, buckled his ill-contrived helmet, braced his target, seized
+his lance, and through the back door of his yard sallied into the fields
+in a rapture of joy, occasioned by this easy and successful beginning of
+his admirable undertaking: but scarce was he clear of the village, when
+he was assaulted by such a terrible objection, as had well-nigh induced
+our hero to abandon his enterprize directly; for he recollected that he
+had never been knighted; and therefore, according to the laws of
+chivalry, he neither could nor ought to enter the lists with any
+antagonist of that degree; nay, even granting he had received that mark
+of distinction, it was his duty to wear white armour, like a new knight,
+without any device on his shield, until such time as his valour should
+entitle him to that honour[27].
+
+These cogitations made him waver a little in his plan; but his madness
+prevailing over every other consideration, suggested that he might be
+dubbed by the first person he should meet, after the example of many
+others who had fallen upon the same expedient; as he had read in those
+mischievous books which had disordered his imagination[28]. With respect
+to the white armour, he proposed, with the first opportunity, to scower
+his own, until it should be fairer than ermine: and having satisfied his
+conscience in this manner, he pursued his design, without following any
+other road than that which his horse was pleased to chuse; being
+persuaded that, in so doing, he manifested the true spirit of adventure.
+Thus proceeded our flaming adventurer, while he uttered the following
+soliloquy.
+
+‘Doubtless, in future ages, when the true history of my famed exploits
+shall come to light, the sage author, when he recounts my first and
+early sally, will express himself in this manner: “Scarce had ruddy
+Phœbus, o’er this wide and spacious earth, displayed the golden threads
+of his refulgent hair; and scarce the little painted warblers with their
+forky tongues, in soft, mellifluous harmony, had hailed the approach of
+rosy-winged Aurora, who stealing from her jealous husband’s couch,
+through the balconies and aërial gates of Mancha’s bright horizon, stood
+confessed to wondering mortals; when lo! the illustrious knight Don
+Quixote de La Mancha, up-springing from the lazy down, bestrode famed
+Rozinante his unrivalled steed! and through Monteil’s ancient,
+well-known field,” which was really the case, “pursued his way.”’ Then
+he added, ‘O fortunate age! O happy times! in which shall be made
+publick my incomparable atchievements, worthy to be engraved in brass,
+on marble sculptured, and in painting shewn, as great examples to
+futurity! And O! thou sage enchanter, whosoever thou may’st be, doomed
+to record the wondrous story, forget not, I beseech thee, my trusty
+Rozinante, the firm companion of my various fate!’ Then making a sudden
+transition, he exclaimed, as if he had been actually in love, ‘O
+Dulcinea! sovereign princess of this captive heart, what dire affliction
+hast thou made me suffer, thus banished from thy presence with reproach,
+and fettered by thy rigorous command, not to appear again before thy
+beauteous face! Deign, princess, to remember this thy faithful slave,
+who now endures such misery for love of thee!’ These, and other such
+rhapsodies, he strung together; imitating, as much as in him lay, the
+stile of those ridiculous books which he had read; and jogging along, in
+spite of the sun, which beamed upon him so intensely hot, that surely
+his brains, if any had remained, would have been fried in his skull:
+that whole day did he travel without encountering any thing worth
+mentioning; a circumstance that grieved him sorely, for he had expected
+to find some object on which he could try the prowess of his valiant
+arm[29].
+
+Some authors say, his first adventure was that of the pass of Lapice;
+but others affirm, that the windmills had the maidenhead of his valour:
+all that I can aver of the matter, in consequence of what I found
+recorded in the annals of La Mancha, is, that having travelled the whole
+day, his horse and he, about twilight, found themselves excessively
+wearied, and half dead with hunger; and that looking around for some
+castle or sheep-cote, in which he might allay the cravings of nature, by
+repose and refreshment; he descried, not far from the road, an inn,
+which he looked upon as the star that would guide him to the porch, if
+not the palace, of his redemption: in this hope, he put spurs to his
+horse, and just in the twilight reached the gate, where at that time
+there happened to be two ladies of the game; who, being on their journey
+to Seville, with the carriers, had chanced to take up their night’s
+lodging in this place.
+
+As our hero’s imagination converted whatsoever he saw, heard, or
+considered, into something of which he had read in books of chivalry; he
+no sooner perceived the inn, than his fancy represented it as a stately
+castle, with its four towers and pinnacles of shining silver,
+accommodated with a draw-bridge, deep moat, and all other conveniences
+that are described as belonging to buildings of that kind.
+
+When he was within a small distance of this inn, which to him seemed a
+castle, he drew bridle, and stopped Rozinante, in hope that some dwarf
+would appear upon the battlements, and signify his arrival by sound of
+trumpet: but as this ceremony was not performed so soon as he expected,
+and his steed expressed great eagerness to be in the stable, he rode up
+to the gate, and observing the battered wenches before-mentioned,
+mistook them for two beautiful maidens, or agreeable ladies, enjoying
+the cool breeze at the castle gate. At that instant, a swine-herd, who,
+in a field hard by, was tending a drove of hogs, (with leave be it
+spoken) chanced to blow his horn, in order to collect his scattered
+subjects: immediately the knight’s expectation was fulfilled, and
+concluding that now the dwarf had given the signal of his approach, he
+rode towards the inn with infinite satisfaction. The ladies no sooner
+perceived such a strange figure, armed with lance and target, than they
+were seized with consternation, and ran affrighted to the gate; but Don
+Quixote, guessing their terror by their flight, lifted up his
+paste-board vizor, and discovering his meagre lanthorn-jaws besmeared
+with dust, addressed them thus, with gentle voice and courteous
+demeanor: ‘Fly me not, ladies; nor dread the least affront; for it
+belongs not to the order of knighthood, which I profess, to injure any
+mortal, much less such high-born damsels as your appearance declares you
+to be.’
+
+The wenches, who stared at him with all their curiosity, in order to
+discover his face, which the sorry beaver concealed, hearing themselves
+stiled HIGH-BORN DAMSELS, an epithet so foreign to their profession,
+could contain themselves no longer, but burst out into such a fit of
+laughter, that Don Quixote, being offended, rebuked them in these words:
+‘Nothing is more commendable in beautiful women than modesty; and
+nothing more ridiculous than laughter proceeding from a slight cause:
+but this I mention not as a reproach, by which I may incur your
+indignation; on the contrary, my intention is only to do you service.’
+
+This address, which was wholly unintelligible to the ladies, together
+with the ludicrous appearance of him who pronounced it, increased their
+mirth; which kindled the knight’s anger, and he began to wax wroth; when
+luckily the landlord interposed. This inn-keeper, who, by reason of his
+unwieldy belly, was of a pacifick disposition, no sooner beheld the
+preposterous figure of our hero, equipped with such ill-suited
+accoutrements as his bridle, lance, target, and corslet composed, than
+he was seized with an inclination to join the nymphs in their
+unseasonable merriment; but being justly afraid of incensing the owner
+of such unaccountable furniture, he resolved to behave civilly, and
+accordingly accosted him in these words: ‘Sir knight, if your worship
+wants lodging, you may be accommodated in this inn with every thing in
+great abundance, except a bed; for at present we have not one
+unengaged.’ Don Quixote perceiving the humility of the governor of the
+castle, for such he supposed the landlord to be, answered, ‘For me,
+Signior Castellano, any thing will suffice; my dress is armour, battles
+my repose, &c.’ Mine host imagining that he called him Castellano[30],
+because he looked like a hypocritical rogue; though indeed, he was an
+Andalusian, born on the coast of St. Lucar, as great a thief as Cacus,
+and more mischievous than a collegian or a page, replied with a sneer,
+‘If that be the case, I suppose your worship’s couch is no other than
+the flinty rock, and your sleep perpetual waking; so that you may alight
+with the comfortable assurance, that you will find, in this mansion,
+continual opportunities of defying sleep, not only for one night, but
+for a whole year, if you please to try the experiment.’ With these
+words, he laid hold of the stirrup of Don Quixote; who, dismounting with
+infinite pain and difficulty, occasioned by his having travelled all day
+long without any refreshment, bade the landlord take special care of his
+steed; for, he observed, a better piece of horse-flesh had never broke
+bread.
+
+The innkeeper, though with all his penetration he could not discern any
+qualities in Rozinante sufficient to justify one half of what was said
+in his praise, led him civilly into the stable; and having done the
+honours of the place, returned to receive the commands of his other
+guest, whom he found in the hands of the high born damsels; who having
+by this time reconciled themselves to him, were busied in taking off his
+armour: they had already disincumbered him of his back and
+breast-plates, but could fall upon no method of disengaging his head and
+neck from his ill-contrived helmet and gorget, which were fast tied with
+green ribbands, the Gordian knots of which no human hands could loose;
+and he would by no means allow them to be cut; so that he remained all
+night armed from the throat upwards, and afforded as odd and comical a
+spectacle as ever was seen[31]. While these kind harridans, whom he
+supposed to be the constable’s lady and daughter, were employed in this
+hospitable office, he said to them with a smile of inconceivable
+pleasure, ‘Never was knight so honoured by the service of ladies as Don
+Quixote, when he first ushered himself into the world; ladies ministered
+unto him, and princesses took charge of his Rozinante. O Rozinante! (for
+that, fair ladies, is the name of my steed, and Don Quixote de La Mancha
+the appellation of his master) not that I intended to have disclosed
+myself until the deeds atchieved in your service should have made me
+known; but, in order to accommodate my present situation to that
+venerable romance of Sir Lancelot, I am obliged to discover my name a
+little prematurely; yet the time will come, when your highness shall
+command, and I will obey, and the valour of this arm testify the desire
+I feel of being your slave.’
+
+The charmers, whom nature never desired to expose to such extraordinary
+compliments, answered not a syllable, but asked if he chose to have any
+thing for supper. To which kind question Don Quixote replied, that from
+the information of his bowels, he believed nothing eatable could come
+amiss. As it was unluckily a meagre day, the inn afforded no other fare
+than some bundles of that fish which is called abadexo in Castile,
+baccalao in Andalusia, curadillo in some parts of Spain, and truchuela
+in others: so that they inquired if his worship could eat truchuela; for
+there was no other fish to be had. ‘A number of troutlings,’ answered
+the knight, ‘will please me as much as one trout; for, in my opinion,
+eight single rials are equivalent to one piece of eight; besides, those
+troutlings may be as much preferable to trouts, as veal is to beef, or
+lamb to mutton[32]: be that as it will, let the fish be immediately
+produced; for the toil and burden of arms are not to be borne without
+satisfying the cravings of the stomach.’ A table being therefore covered
+at the inn-door, for the benefit of the cool air, mine host brought out
+a cut of baccalao, wretchedly watered, and villainously cooked, with a
+loaf as black and greasy as his guest’s own armour: but his manner of
+eating afforded infinite subject for mirth; for, his head being inclosed
+in his helmet, and the beaver lifted up, his own hands could be of no
+service in reaching the food to his mouth; and therefore one of the
+ladies undertook to perform that office: but they found it impossible to
+convey drink in the same manner; and our hero must have made an
+uncomfortable meal, if the landlord had not bored a cane, and putting
+one end of it in his mouth, poured some wine into the other; an
+operation he endured with patience, rather than suffer the ribbands of
+his helmet to be destroyed.
+
+While they were thus employed, a sow-gelder happened to arrive at the
+inn, and winding three or four blasts with his horn, confirmed Don
+Quixote in his opinion, that he sat in some stately castle, entertained
+with musick during his repast, which, consisting of delicate troutling
+and bread of the finest flour, was served up, not by a brace of harlots
+and a thievish innkeeper, but by the fair hands of two beautiful ladies,
+and the courteous governor of the place. This conceit justified his
+undertaking and rendered him very happy in the success of his first
+sally: but he was mortified when he recollected that he was not as yet
+knighted; because he thought he could not lawfully atchieve any
+adventure without having been first invested with that honourable order.
+
+Footnote 27:
+
+ According to the ancient rules of chivalry, no man was entitled to the
+ rank and degree of knighthood, until he had been in actual battle, and
+ taken a prisoner with his own hand.
+
+Footnote 28:
+
+ It was common for one knight to dub another. Francis I. King of
+ France, was knighted, at his own desire, by the Chevalier Bayard, who
+ was looked upon as the flower of chivalry.
+
+Footnote 29:
+
+ He might have imitated the young knight described in Perce Forest, who
+ having been dubbed by King Alexander, rode into a wood, and attacked
+ the trees with such fury and address, that the king and his whole
+ court were convinced of his prowess and dexterity.
+
+Footnote 30:
+
+ _Sano de Castella_, signifies a crafty knave.
+
+Footnote 31:
+
+ This circumstance of the ladies disarming the knight, is exactly
+ conformable to the practice of chivalry; though his refusing to lay
+ aside his helmet is no great argument of his courtesy or attachment to
+ the laws and customs of his profession; for, among knights, it was
+ looked upon as an indispensible mark of respect, to appear without the
+ helmet in church, and in presence of ladies, or respectable
+ personages; and, indeed, in those iron times, this was considered as a
+ necessary mark and proof of peaceable intention: hence we derive the
+ custom of uncovering the head in salutation.
+
+Footnote 32:
+
+ In the original, or kid to he-goat.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. III.
+ THE DIVERTING EXPEDIENT DON QUIXOTE FALLS UPON
+ IN ORDER TO BE KNIGHTED.
+
+
+Harassed by this reflection, he abridged his sorry meal, and called for
+the landlord; with whom having shut himself up in the stable, he fell
+upon his knees, and addressed the supposed constable in these words:
+‘Never will I rise from this suppliant posture, thrice valiant knight,
+until your courtesy shall grant the boon I mean to beg; a boon, that
+will not only redound to your particular praise, but also to the
+inestimable benefit of mankind in general[33].’ The innkeeper hearing
+such discourse proceed from the mouth of his guest, who kneeled before
+him, was astonished; and gazed at our hero, without knowing what to say
+or do: at length, however, he intreated him to rise; but this request
+was absolutely refused, until he assured him that his boon should be
+granted. ‘Signior,’ said Don Quixote, ‘I could expect no less from the
+courtesy of your magnificence; I will now therefore tell you, that the
+boon which I have begged, and obtained from your generosity, is, that
+you will, to-morrow morning, vouchsafe to confer upon me the honour of
+knighthood. This night will I watch my arms in the chapel of your
+castle; that the morning, as I said, may fulfil my eager desire, and
+enable me, as I ought, to traverse the four corners of the world, in
+search of adventures for the relief of the distressed, according to the
+duty and office of chivalry, and of those knight-errants, in imitation
+of whom my genius is strongly addicted to such atchievements.’
+
+The landlord, who, as we have already observed, was a sort of a wag, and
+had, from the beginning, suspected that his lodger’s brain was none of
+the soundest, having heard him to an end, no longer entertained any
+doubts about the matter; and, in order to regale himself and the rest of
+his guests with a dish of mirth, resolved to humour him in his
+extravagance. With this view, he told him, that nothing could be more
+just and reasonable than his request, his conceptions being extremely
+well-suited, and natural to such a peerless knight as his commanding
+presence and gallant demeanour demonstrated him to be; that he himself
+had, in his youth, exercised the honourable profession of errantry,
+strolling from place to place in quest of adventures, in the course of
+which he did not fail to visit the suburbs of Malaga, the isles of
+Riaran, the booths of Seville, the market-place of Segovia, the
+olive-gardens of Valencia, the little tower of Grenada, the bay of St.
+Lucar, the spout of Cordova[34], the publick houses of Toledo, and many
+other places, in which he had exercised the dexterity of his hands as
+well as the lightness of his heels, doing infinite mischief; courting
+widows without number, debauching damsels, ruining heirs, and, in short,
+making himself known at the bar of every tribunal in Spain: that, at
+length, he had retired to the castle, where he lived on his own means,
+together with those of other people; accommodating knights-errant of
+every quality and degree, solely on account of the affection he bore to
+them, and to the coin which they parted with in return for his
+hospitality. He, moreover, informed him, that there was no chapel in the
+castle at present, where he could watch his armour, it having been
+demolished in order to be rebuilt; but that, in case of necessity, as he
+very well knew, he might chuse any other place; that the court-yard of
+the castle would very well serve the purpose; where, when the knight
+should have watched all night, he, the host, would in the morning, with
+God’s permission, perform all the other ceremonies required, and create
+him not only a knight, but such an one as should not have his fellow in
+the whole universe.
+
+He then asked, if he carried any money about with him: and the knight
+replied, that he had not a sous; for he had never read in the history of
+knights-errant, that they had ever troubled themselves with any such
+incumbrance. The innkeeper assured him, that his was very much mistaken,
+for that though no such circumstance was to be found in those histories,
+the authors having thought it superfluous to mention things that were so
+plainly necessary as money and clean shirts, it was not to be supposed
+that their heroes travelled without supplies of both; he might therefore
+take it for granted and uncontrovertible, that all those knights, whose
+actions are so voluminously recorded, never rode without their purses
+well lined in cases of emergency[35]; not forgetting to carry a stock of
+linen, with a small box of ointment to cure the wounds they might
+receive in the course of their adventures; for it was not to be
+imagined, that any other relief was to be had every time they should
+have occasion to fight, and be wounded in fields and desarts; unless
+they were befriended by some sage inchanter, who would assist them, by
+transporting through the air, in a cloud, some damsel, or dwarf, with a
+cordial of such virtue, that one drop of it would instantly cure them of
+their bruises and wounds, and make them as sound as if no such mischance
+had happened: but the knights of former ages, who had no such assistance
+to depend upon, laid it down as a constant maxim, to order their squires
+to provide themselves with money and other necessaries, such as ointment
+and lint for immediate application: and, when the knight happened to be
+without a squire, which was very seldom the case, he himself kept them
+in very small bags, that hung, scarce perceptible, at his horse’s rump,
+as if it were a treasure of much greater importance. Though, indeed,
+except upon such an occasion, that of carrying bags was not much for the
+honour of knight-errantry; for which reason, he advised Don Quixote, and
+now that he was on the brink of being his godson, he might command him,
+never thenceforward to travel without money, and those other
+indispensible necessaries, with which he should provide himself as soon
+as possible; and then he would, when he least thought of it, find his
+account in having made such provision.
+
+The knight promised to follow his advice with all deference and
+punctuality; and thereupon received orders to watch his armour in a
+large court on one side of the inn; where, having gathered the several
+pieces on a heap, he placed them in a cistern that belonged to the well;
+then bracing on his target, and grasping his lance, he walked with
+courteous demeanour backward and forward before the cistern; beginning
+this knightly exercise as soon as it was dark[36]. The roguish landlord
+having informed every lodger in his house of our hero’s frenzy, the
+watching of his armour, and his expectation of being dubbed a knight;
+they were astonished at such a peculiar strain of madness, and going out
+to observe him at a distance, beheld him with silent gesture sometimes
+stalking along, sometimes leaning on his spear, with his eyes fixed upon
+his armour, for a considerable space of time. Though it was now night,
+the moon shone with such splendour, as might even vie with the source
+from which she derived her brightness; so that every motion of our
+noviciate was distinctly perceived by all present. At this instant, a
+carrier, who lodged in the inn, took it in his head to water his mules;
+and it being necessary for this purpose to clear the cistern, he went to
+lift off Don Quixote’s armour; when a loud voice accosted him in these
+words: ‘O thou! whosoever thou art, bold and insolent knight! who
+presumest to touch the armour of the most valiant errant that ever
+girded himself with cold iron, consider what thou art about to attempt,
+and touch it not, unless thou art desirous of yielding thy life as the
+price of thy temerity.’
+
+The carrier, far from regarding these threats, which, had he regarded
+his own carcase, he would not have despised, laid hold on the sacred
+deposit, and threw it piece-meal into the yard with all his might. Don
+Quixote no sooner beheld this profanation, than lifting up his eyes to
+Heaven, and addressing himself, in all likelihood, to his Mistress
+Dulcinea, he said, ‘Grant me thy assistance, dear lady of my heart! in
+this insult offered to thy lowly vassal, and let me not be deprived of
+thy favourable protection in this my first perilous atchievement.’
+Having uttered this and some other ejaculation, he quitted his target,
+and raising his lance with both hands, bestowed it with such good-will
+upon the carrier’s head, that he fell prostrate on the ground, so
+effectually mauled, that had the blow been repeated, there would have
+been no occasion to call a surgeon. This exploit being performed, he
+replaced his armour, and returned to his walk, which he continued with
+his former composure.
+
+[Illustration: Don Quixote Defends His Armour.]
+
+It was not long before another carrier, not knowing what had happened to
+his companion, who still lay without sense or motion, arrived, with the
+same intention of watering his mules, and went straight up to the
+cistern, in order to remove the armour; when Don Quixote, without
+speaking a syllable, or asking leave of any living soul, once more
+quitted his target, and lifting up his lance, made another experiment of
+its hardness upon the pate of the second carrier, which failed in the
+application, giving way in four different places. At the noise of this
+encounter, every body in the house, innkeeper, and all, came running to
+the field; at sight of whom Don Quixote, snatching up his target, and
+drawing his sword, pronounced aloud, ‘O lady, of transcendent beauty!
+the force and vigour of my enfeebled heart; now, if ever, is the time
+for thee to turn thy princely eyes on this thy caitif knight, who is on
+the eve of so mighty an adventure.’ So saying, he seemed to have
+acquired such courage, that had he been assaulted by all the carriers in
+the universe, he would not have retreated one step.
+
+The companions of the wounded, seeing how their friends had been
+handled, began at a distance to discharge a shower of stones upon the
+knight; who, as well as he could, sheltered himself under his shield,
+not daring to leave the cistern, lest some mischance should happen to
+his armour. The innkeeper called aloud, entreating them to leave off;
+for, as he had told them before, the man being mad, would be acquitted
+on account of his lunacy, even though he should put every soul of them
+to death. At the same time, Don Quixote, in a voice louder still,
+upbraided them as cowardly traitors, and called the constable of the
+castle a worthless and base-born knight, for allowing his guest to be
+treated in such an inhospitable manner; swearing, that if he had
+received the honour of knighthood, he would make him repent his
+discourteous behaviour. ‘But as for you,’ said he, ‘ye vile,
+ill-mannered scum, ye are beneath my notice. Discharge, approach, come
+forward, and annoy me as much as you can, you shall soon see what reward
+you will receive for your insolent extravagance.’ These words, delivered
+in a bold and resolute tone, struck terror into the hearts of the
+assailants; who, partly for this menace, and partly on account of the
+landlord’s persuasion, gave over their attack; while he, on his side,
+allowed the wounded to retire, and returned to his watch, with his
+former ease and tranquillity.
+
+These pranks of the knight were not at all to the liking of the
+landlord, who resolved to abridge the ceremony, and bestow this unlucky
+order of knighthood immediately, before any other mischief should
+happen. Approaching him, therefore, he disclaimed the insolence with
+which his guest had been treated by those saucy plebeians, without his
+knowledge or consent; and observed that they had been justly chastised
+for their impudence: that, as he had told him before, there was no
+chapel in the castle, nor indeed, for what was to be done, was it at all
+necessary; nothing of the ceremony now remaining unperformed, except the
+cuff on the neck, and the thwack on the shoulders, as they are
+prescribed in the ceremonial of the order; and that this part might be
+executed in the middle of a field: he assured him also, that he had
+punctually complied with every thing that regarded the watching of his
+armour, which might have been finished in two hours, though he had
+already remained double the time on that duty. Don Quixote believing
+every syllable that he spoke, said, he was ready to obey him in all
+things, and besought him to conclude the matter as soon as possible:
+for, in case he should be attacked again, after having been knighted, he
+would not leave a soul alive in the castle, except those whom he should
+spare at his request.
+
+The constable, alarmed at this declaration, immediately brought out his
+day-book, in which he kept an account of the barley and straw that was
+expended for the use of the carriers, and attended by a boy with a
+candle’s end in his hand, together with the two ladies before mentioned,
+came to the place where Don Quixote stood; then ordering him to kneel
+before him, mumbled in his manual, as if he had been putting up some
+very devout petition; in the midst of which he lifted up his hand, and
+gave him a hearty thump on the neck; then, with the flat of his own
+sword, bestowed an handsome application across his shoulders, muttering
+all the time between his teeth, as if he had been employed in some
+fervent ejaculation[37]. This article being fulfilled, he commanded one
+of the ladies to gird on his sword, an office she performed with great
+dexterity and discretion, of which there was no small need to restrain
+her laughter at each particular of this strange ceremony: but the
+effects they had already seen of the knight’s disposition, kept their
+mirth effectually under the rein.
+
+When this good lady had girded on his sword, ‘Heaven preserve your
+worship! adventurous knight,’ said she, ‘and make you fortunate in all
+your encounters.’ Don Quixote then begged to know her name, that he
+might thenceforward understand to whom he was obliged for the favour he
+had received at her hands, and to whom he might ascribe some part of the
+honour he should acquire by the valour of his invincible arm. She
+answered with great humility, that her name was Tobosa, daughter of an
+honest butcher in Toledo, who lived in one of the stalls of Sancho
+Minaya: that she should always be at his service, and acknowledge him
+for her lord and master. The knight professed himself extremely obliged
+to her for her love; and begged she would, for the future, dignify her
+name by calling herself Donna Tobosa. This request she promised
+faithfully to comply with; and a dialogue of the same kind passed
+between him and the other lady who buckled on his spur: when he asked
+her name, she told him it was Mollinera; and that her father was an
+honourable miller of Antequera. Don Quixote entreated her also to
+ennoble her name with the same title of Donna, loaded her with thanks,
+and made a tender of his service. These hitherto unseen ceremonies being
+dispatched, as it were with post-haste, Don Quixote, impatient to see
+himself on horseback, in quest of adventures, saddled and mounted
+Rozinante forthwith, and embracing his host, uttered such a strange
+rhapsody of thanks for his having dubbed him knight, that it is
+impossible to rehearse the compliment. The landlord, in order to get rid
+of him the sooner, answered in terms no less eloquent, though something
+more laconick, and let him march off in a happy hour, without demanding
+one farthing for his lodging.
+
+Footnote 33:
+
+ This request was a little premature, inasmuch as the practice of
+ chivalry did not authorize the suppliant to ask a boon of his
+ godfather, until he was dubbed, and then he had a right to demand it.
+
+Footnote 34:
+
+ Literally, the colt of Cordova, because the water gushes out of a
+ fountain resembling an horse’s mouth. These are places of resort
+ frequented by thieves and sharpers.
+
+Footnote 35:
+
+ Here the landlord was more selfish than observant of the customs of
+ chivalry; for knights were actually exempted from all expence
+ whatever; except when damages were awarded against them in a court of
+ justice; and in that case they paid for their rank. This they looked
+ upon as a mark of their pre-eminence; in consequence of which, at the
+ siege of Dun le Roy, in the year 1411, each knight was ordered to
+ carry eight fascines, while the squire was quit for half the number.
+
+Footnote 36:
+
+ This custom of watching armour in church or chapel, was a religious
+ duty imposed upon knights, who used to consume the whole night in
+ prayer to some saint, whom they chose as their patron; and this
+ exercise of devotion was performed on the night preceding the said
+ saint’s day. The same ceremony was observed by those who were
+ sentenced to the combat-proof.
+
+Footnote 37:
+
+ The slap on the shoulders, and the box on the ear being bestowed, the
+ godfather pronounced, ‘In the name of God, St. Michael, and St.
+ George, I dub thee knight: be worthy, bold, and loyal.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IV.
+ OF WHAT BEFEL OUR KNIGHT, WHEN HE SALLIED FROM THE INN.
+
+
+It was early in the morning when Don Quixote sallied from the inn, so
+well satisfied, so sprightly, and so glad to see himself invested with
+the order of knighthood, that the very girths of his horse vibrated with
+joy: but, remembering his landlord’s advice, with regard to the
+necessaries he ought to carry along with him, in particular the money
+and clean shirts, he resolved to return to his own house, and furnish
+himself not only with these, but also with a squire. For this office he
+fixed, in his own mind, upon a poor ploughman who lived in his
+neighbourhood, maintaining a family of children by his labour; a person
+in all respects qualified for the lower services of chivalry. With this
+view he steered his course homeward: and Rozinante, as if he had guessed
+the knight’s intention, began to move with such alacrity and nimbleness,
+that his hoofs scarce seemed to touch the ground.
+
+He had not travelled far, when from the thickest part of a wood that
+grew on his right-hand, his ear was saluted with shrill repeated cries,
+which seemed to issue from the mouth of some creature in grievous
+distress. No sooner did our hero hear this lamentation, than he
+exclaimed, ‘Heaven be praised for the favour with which it now indulges
+me, in giving me an opportunity so soon of fulfilling the duties of my
+profession, and reaping the fruit of my laudable intention! These cries
+doubtless proceed from some miserable male or female, who stands in need
+of my immediate aid and protection.’ Then turning Rozinante, he rode
+towards the place whence the complaint seemed to come; and having
+entered the wood a few paces, he found a mare tied to one oak, and a lad
+about fifteen, naked from the waist upwards, made fast to another. This
+was he who screamed so piteously, and indeed not without reason; for a
+sturdy peasant was employed in making applications to his carcase with a
+leathern strap, accompanying each stripe with a word of reproof and
+advice. Above all things, laying upon him strong injunctions, to use his
+tongue less, and his eyes more: the young fellow replied, with great
+fervency, ‘I will never do so again, master, so help me God! I won’t do
+so any more; but for the future take more care, and use more dispatch.’
+
+Don Quixote observing what passed, pronounced aloud with great
+indignation: ‘Discourteous knight, it ill becomes thee to attack one who
+cannot defend himself: mount thy steed, couch thy lance,’ (for there was
+actually a lance leaning against the tree to which the mare was tied)
+‘and I will make thee sensible of the cowardice of the action in which
+thou art now engaged.’ The peasant seeing this strange figure, buckled
+in armour, and brandishing a lance over his head, was mortally afraid,
+and with great humility replied, ‘Sir knight, this lad whom I am
+chastising, is my own servant hired to keep a flock of sheep, which feed
+in these fields; but he is so negligent, that every day I lose one of
+the number, and because I punish him for his carelessness, or knavery,
+he says that I scourge him out of avarice, rather than pay him his
+wages; though, upon my conscience, and as I shall answer to God, he
+tells a lye.’—‘How! a lye, before me, base caitif!’ cried Don Quixote;
+‘by the sun that enlightens this globe, I have a good mind to thrust
+this lance through thy body! Pay the young man his wages straight,
+without reply; or, by the Power that rules us, I will finish and
+annihilate thee in an instant! unbind him therefore without hesitation.’
+
+The countryman hung his head, and without speaking a syllable, untied
+his man; who, being asked by the knight how much money was due to him,
+said his master owed him for three quarters, at the rate of six rials a
+month. His deliverer having cast it up, found that the whole amounted to
+sixty-three rials, and ordered the peasant to disburse them instantly,
+unless he had a mind to perish under his hands. The affrighted farmer
+affirmed, by the grievous situation in which he was, and the oath he had
+already taken, though, by the bye, he had taken no oath at all, that the
+sum did not amount to so much; for that he was to discount and allow for
+three pair of shoes he had received, and a rial for two bleedings while
+he was sick. ‘Granting that to be true,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘the shoes
+and the bleeding shall stand for the stripes you have given him without
+cause; for, if he has wore out the leather of the shoes that you paid
+for, you have made as free with the leather of his carcase; and if the
+barber let out his blood when he was sick, you have blooded him when he
+was well; he therefore stands acquitted of these debts.’—‘The
+misfortune, Sir knight,’ said the peasant, ‘is this; I have not coin
+about me: but if Andrew will go home to my house, I will pay him
+honestly in ready-money.’—‘Go with you!’ cried the lad; ‘the devil fetch
+me if I do! No, no, master, I must not think of that; were I to go home
+with him alone, he would flay me like another Saint Bartholomew.’—‘He
+won’t do so,’ replied the knight, ‘but shew more regard to my commands;
+and if he will swear to me by the laws of that order of knighthood which
+he has received, that he will pay you your wages, I will set him free,
+and warrant the payment.’—‘Lord, how your worship talks!’ said the boy;
+‘this master of mine is no gentleman, nor has he received any order of
+knighthood, but is known by the name of rich John Haldudo, and lives in
+the neighbourhood of Quintanar.’—‘No matter,’ replied Don Quixote,
+‘there may be knights among the Haldudos, especially as every one is the
+son of his own works.’—‘True,’ said Andrew; ‘but what works is my master
+the son of, since he refuses to pay me for my labour, and the sweat of
+my brows?’—‘I don’t refuse; honest Andrew,’ answered the peasant; ‘thou
+wilt do me a pleasure in going home with me; and I swear by all the
+honours of knighthood in the universe, that I will pay thee thy wages,
+as I said before, in ready-money; nay, you shall have it perfumed into
+the bargain.’—‘Thank you for your perfumes!’ said the knight; ‘pay him
+in lawful coin, and I shall be satisfied: and be sure you fulfil the
+oath you have taken; for, by the same obligation, I swear, that in case
+you fail, I will return to chastise you, and ferret you out, even though
+you should be more concealed than a lizard. If you would understand who
+it is that lays such commands upon you, that you may find yourself under
+a necessity of performing them with reverence and awe, know that I am
+the valiant Don Quixote de La Mancha, the redresser of wrongs, and
+scourge of injustice: so farewel. Remember, not to belye your promise
+and oath, on pain of the penalty prescribed.’ With these words, he
+clapped spurs to Rozinante, and was out of sight in a moment.
+
+The countryman followed him with his eyes, till he saw him quite clear
+of the wood; then turning to Andrew, said, ‘Come hither, child, I must
+pay what I owe you, according to the order of that redresser of
+wrongs.’—‘And adad,’ said Andrew, ‘you had best not neglect the orders
+of that worthy knight, who (blessings on his heart!) is equally valiant
+and upright; for odds bobs, if you do not pay me, he will return and be
+as good as his word.’—‘In faith, I am of the same opinion,’ replied the
+peasant; ‘but, out of my infinite regard for you, I am desirous of
+encreasing the debt, that the payment may be doubled.’ So saying, he
+laid hold of his arm, and tying him again to the tree, flogged him so
+severely, that he had like to have died on the spot. ‘Now is the time,
+Mr. Andrew,’ said the executioner, ‘to call upon the redresser of
+grievances, who will find it difficult to redress this, which by the bye
+I am loth to finish, being very much inclined to justify your fear of
+being flayed alive.’ At length, however, he unbound and left him at
+liberty to find out his judge, who was to execute the sentence he had
+pronounced. Andrew sneaked off, not extremely well satisfied: on the
+contrary, vowing to go in quest of the valiant Don Quixote de La Mancha,
+and inform him punctually of every thing that had happened, an account
+which would certainly induce him to pay the countryman sevenfold.
+
+In spite of this consolation, however, he departed blubbering with pain,
+while his master remained weeping with laughter. And thus was the
+grievance redressed by the valiant Don Quixote, who, transported with
+the success, and the happy and sublime beginning which he imagined his
+chivalry had been favoured with, jogged on towards his own village, with
+infinite self satisfaction, pronouncing with a low voice, ‘O Dulcinea
+del Toboso, fairest among the fair! well may’st thou be counted the most
+fortunate beauty upon earth, seeing it is thy fate to keep in subjection
+and wholly resigned to thy will and pleasure, such a daring and renowned
+knight as Don Quixote de La Mancha now is, and always will remain. He
+who, as all the world knows, but yesterday received the honour of
+knighthood, and has this day redressed the greatest wrong and grievance
+that ever injustice hatched, and cruelty committed! To-day he wrested
+the lash from the hand of the merciless enemy, who so unjustly scourged
+the body of that tender infant!’ Having uttered this exclamation, he
+found himself in a road that divided into four paths, and straight his
+imagination suggested those cross-ways that were wont to perplex
+knights-errant in their choice; in imitation of whom, he paused a
+little, and after mature deliberation, threw the reins on Rozinante’s
+neck, leaving the decision to him, who following his first intention,
+took the path that led directly to his own stable.
+
+Having travelled about two miles farther, Don Quixote descried a number
+of people, who, as was afterwards known, were six merchants of Toledo,
+going to buy silks at Mercia, and who travelled with umbrellas, attended
+by four servants on horseback, and three mule-drivers on foot. Don
+Quixote no sooner perceived them at a distance, than he imagined them to
+be some new adventure; and, in order to imitate, as much as in him lay,
+those scenes he had read in his books of chivalry, he thought this was
+an occasion expressly ordained for him to execute his purposed
+atchievement.
+
+He therefore, with gallant and resolute deportment, seated himself
+firmly in his stirrups, grasped his lance, braced on his target, and
+posting himself in the middle of the road, waited the arrival of those
+knights-errant, for such he judged them to be. When they were near
+enough to hear him, he pronounced in a loud and arrogant tone: ‘Let the
+whole universe cease to move, if the whole universe refuses to confess,
+that there is not in the whole universe a more beautiful damsel than the
+peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, the high and mighty Empress of La Mancha.’
+
+The merchants hearing this declaration, and seeing the strange figure
+from which it proceeded, were alarmed at both, and halting immediately,
+at a distance reconnoitred the madness of the author. Curious, however,
+to know the meaning of that confession which he exacted, one of them,
+who was a sort of a wag, though at the same time a man of prudence and
+discretion, accosted him thus: ‘Sir Knight, as we have not the honour to
+know who this worthy lady is, be so good as to produce her; and if we
+find her so beautiful as you proclaim her to be, we will gladly, and
+without any sort of reward, confess the truth, according to your
+desire.’—‘If I produce her,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘what is the mighty
+merit of your confessing such a notorious truth? The importance of my
+demand consists in your believing, acknowledging, affirming upon oath,
+and defending her beauty, before you have seen it. And this ye shall do,
+ye insolent and uncivil race, or engage with me in battle forthwith.
+Come on then, one by one, according to the laws of chivalry, or all
+together, as the treacherous custom is among such wretches as you; here
+I expect you with full hope and confidence in the justice of my
+cause.’—‘Sir knight,’ replied the merchant, ‘I humbly beg, in the name
+of all these princes here present, that your worship will not oblige us
+to burden our consciences, by giving testimony to a thing that we have
+neither seen nor heard, especially as it tends to the prejudice of the
+queens and princesses of Alcarria and Estremadura; but, if your worship
+will be pleased to shew us any sort of a picture of this lady, though it
+be no bigger than a grain of wheat, so as we can judge the clue by the
+thread, we will be satisfied with this sample, and you shall be obeyed
+to your heart’s content; for I believe we are already so prepossessed in
+her favour, that though the portrait should represent her squinting with
+one eye, and distilling vermilion and brimstone with the other, we will,
+notwithstanding, in compliance to your worship, say what you desire in
+her favour.’—‘Her eyes, infamous wretch!’ replied Don Quixote, in a
+rage, ‘distil not such productions, but teem with amber and rich
+perfume; neither is there any defect in her sight, or in her body, which
+is more straight than a Guadarrama spindle; but you shall suffer for the
+licentious blasphemy you have uttered against the unparalleled beauty of
+my sovereign mistress.’ So saying, he couched his lance, and attacked
+the spokesman with such rage and fury, that had not Rozinante luckily
+stumbled and fallen in the midst of his career, the merchant would have
+had no cause to rejoice in his rashness; but when the unhappy steed fell
+to the ground, the rider was thrown over his head, and pitched at a good
+distance upon the field, where he found all his endeavours to get up
+again ineffectual, so much was he encumbered with his lance, target,
+helmet, and spurs, together with the weight of his ancient armour.
+
+While he thus struggled, but in vain, to rise, he bellowed forth, ‘Fly
+not, ye cowardly crew; tarry a little, ye base caitiffs: not through any
+fault of my own, but of my horse, am I thus discomfited.’ One of the
+mule-drivers, who seems not to have been of a very milky disposition,
+could not bear this arrogant language of the poor overthrown knight,
+without making a reply upon his ribs. Going up to him, therefore, he
+laid hold on his lance, and breaking it, began to thresh him so
+severely, that, in spite of the resistance of his armour, he was almost
+beaten into mummy; and though the fellow’s master called to him to
+forbear, he was so incensed, that he could not leave off the game, until
+he had exhausted the whole of his choler. Gathering the other pieces of
+the lance, he reduced them all to shivers, one after another, on the
+miserable carcase of the Don, who, notwithstanding this storm of blows
+which descended on him, never closed his mouth, but continued
+threatening heaven and earth, and those banditti, for such he took the
+merchants to be.
+
+The driver was tired at length of his exercise, and his masters pursued
+their journey, carrying with them sufficient food for conversation about
+this poor battered knight; who no sooner found himself alone, than he
+made another effort to rise; but if he found this design impracticable
+when he was safe and sound, much less could he accomplish it now that he
+was disabled, and as it were wrought into a paste. He did not, however,
+look upon himself as unhappy, because this misfortune was in his opinion
+peculiar to knights-errant; and, that he was not able to rise on account
+of the innumerable bruises he had received, he ascribed entirely to the
+fault of his horse.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. V.
+ IN WHICH THE STORY OF OUR KNIGHT’S MISFORTUNE IS CONTINUED.
+
+
+Finding it therefore impossible to move, he was fain to have recourse to
+his usual remedy, which was to amuse his imagination with some passages
+of the books he had read; and his madness immediately recalled to his
+memory that of Valdovinos and the Marquis of Mantua, when Carloto left
+him wounded on the mountain; a piece of history that every body knows,
+that every young man is acquainted with, and which is celebrated, nay
+more, believed, by old age itself, though it be as apocryphal as the
+miracles of Mahomet: nevertheless, it occurred to him as an occasion
+expressly adapted to his present situation. Therefore, with marks of
+extreme affliction, he began to roll about upon the ground, and with a
+languid voice, exclaim, in the words of the wounded knight of the wood—
+
+ ‘Where art thou, lady of my heart,
+ ‘Regardless of my misery?
+ ‘Thou little know’st thy lover’s smart,
+ ‘Or faithless art and false pardie!’
+
+In this manner he went on repeating the romance until he came to these
+lines:
+
+ ‘O noble prince of Mantuan plains.
+ ‘My carnal kinsman, and my lord!’
+
+Before he could repeat the whole couplet, a peasant who was a neighbour
+of his own, and lived in the same village, chanced to pass, in his way
+from the mill where he had been with a load of wheat. This honest
+countryman seeing a man lying stretched upon the ground, came up, and
+asked him who he was, and the reason of his lamenting so piteously. Don
+Quixote doubtless believed that this was his uncle the Marquis of
+Mantua, and made no other reply but the continuation of his romance, in
+which he gave an account of his own misfortune, occasioned by the amour
+betwixt his wife and the emperor’s son, exactly as it is related in the
+book. The peasant, astonished at such a rhapsody, took off his beaver,
+which had been beaten to pieces by the mule-driver, and wiping his face,
+which was covered with dust, immediately knew the unfortunate knight.
+‘Signior Quixada,’ said he, (for so he was called before he had lost his
+senses, and was transformed from a sober country gentleman into a
+knight-errant) ‘who has left your worship in such a woeful condition?’
+But he, without minding the question that was put to him, proceeded, as
+before, with his romance; which the honest man perceiving, went to work,
+and took off his back and breast-plates, to see if he had received any
+wound, but he could perceive neither blood nor scar upon his body. He
+then raised him upon his legs, and with infinite difficulty mounted him
+upon his own beast, which appeared to him a safer carriage than the
+knight’s steed.
+
+Having gathered up his armour, even to the splinters of the lance, he
+tied them upon Rozinante, and taking hold of the reins, together with
+the halter of his own ass, jogged on towards the village, not a little
+concerned to hear the mad exclamations of Don Quixote, who did not find
+himself extremely easy; for he was so battered and bruised, that he
+could not sit upright upon the beast, but from time to time vented such
+dismal groans, as obliged the peasant to ask again what was the matter
+with him. Indeed, one would have thought, that the devil had assisted
+his memory in supplying him with tales accommodated to the circumstances
+of his own situation; for at that instant, forgetting Valdovinos, he
+recollected the story of Abindar-raez the Moor, whom Rodrigo de Narvaez,
+governor of Antequera, took prisoner, and carried into captivity to the
+place of his residence; so that when the countryman repeated his desire
+of knowing where he had been, and what was the matter with him, he
+answered to the purpose, nay, indeed, in the very words, used by the
+captive Abencerraje to the said Rodrigo de Narvaez, as may be seen in
+the Diana of George Monte-major, which he had read, and so well-adapted
+for his purpose, that the countryman hearing such a composition of
+folly, wished them both at the devil.
+
+It was then he discovered that his neighbour was mad; and therefore made
+all the haste he could to the village, that he might be the sooner rid
+of his uneasiness at the unaccountable harangue of Don Quixote; who had
+no sooner finished this exclamation, than he accosted his conductor in
+these words—‘Know, then, valiant Don Rodrigo de Narvaez, that this same
+beautiful Xarifa, whom I have mentioned, is no other than the fair
+Dulcinea del Toboso, for whom I have performed, undertake, and will
+atchieve, the most renowned exploits, that ever were, are, or will be
+seen on earth.’ To this address the countryman replied with great
+simplicity—‘How your worship talks! As I am a sinner, I am neither Don
+Rodrigo de Narvaez, nor the Marquis of Mantua, but Pedro Alonzo, your
+neighbour; nor is your worship either Valdovinos, or Abindar-raez, but
+the worthy gentleman Signior Quixada.’—‘I know very well who I am,’
+replied Don Quixote; ‘and that it is possible for me to be not only
+those whom I have mentioned, but also the whole Twelve Peers of France,
+and even the Nine Worthies, seeing that my atchievements will excel not
+only those of each of them singly, but even the exploits of them all
+joined together.’
+
+Discoursing in this manner, they arrived at the village about twilight;
+but the peasant staid till it was quite dark, that the poor rib-roasted
+knight might not be seen in such a woeful condition. Then he conducted
+Don Quixote to his own house, which was all in confusion. When he
+arrived, the curate and the barber of the village, two of his best
+friends and companions, were present, and his housekeeper was just
+saying with a woeful countenance, ‘Mr. Licentiate Pero Perez,’ that was
+the curate’s name, ‘some misfortune must certainly have happened to my
+master; for six days, both he and his horse, together with the target,
+lance, and armour, have been missing[38]: as I am a sinner, it is just
+come into my head, and it is certainly as true as that every one is born
+to die, those hellish books of knight-errantry, which he used to read
+with so much pleasure, have turned his brain; for now I remember to have
+heard him say to himself more than once, that he longed to be a
+knight-errant, and stroll about in quest of adventures. May the devil
+and Barrabas lay hold of such legends, which have perverted one of the
+soundest understandings in all La Mancha!’
+
+To this remark the niece assented, saying—‘Moreover, you must know, Mr.
+Nicolas,’ this was the name of the barber, ‘my uncle would frequently,
+after having been reading in these profane books of misadventures, for
+two whole days and nights together, start up, throw the book upon the
+ground, and drawing his sword, fence with the walls till he was quite
+fatigued, then affirm that he had killed four giants as big as steeples,
+and swear that the sweat of his brows, occasioned by this violent
+exercise, was the blood of the wounds he had received in battle; then he
+would drink of a large pitcher of cold water, and remain quiet and
+refreshed, saying, that the water was a most precious beverage, with
+which he was supplied by the sage Isquife, a mighty inchanter and friend
+of his; but I take the whole blame to myself, for not having informed
+your worship of my dear uncle’s extravagancies, that some remedy might
+have been applied before they had proceeded to such excess; and that you
+might have burnt all those excommunicated books, which deserve the fire
+as much as if they were crammed with heresy.’
+
+‘I am of the same opinion,’ said the curate; ‘and assure you, before
+another day shall pass, they shall undergo a severe trial, and be
+condemned to the flames, that they may not induce other readers to
+follow the same path which I am afraid my good friend has taken.’ Every
+syllable of this conversation was overheard by Don Quixote and his
+guide, which last had now no longer any doubt about his neighbour’s
+infirmity, and therefore pronounced with a loud voice—‘Open your gates
+to the valiant Valdovinos, and the great Marquis of Mantua, who comes
+home wounded from the field together with the Moor Abindar-raez, who
+drags in captivity the valiant Rodrigo de Narvaez, governor of
+Antequera.’
+
+Alarmed at these words, they came all to the door, and perceiving who it
+was, the barber and curate went to receive their friend, and the women
+ran to embrace their master and kinsman; who, though he had not as yet
+alighted, for indeed it was not in his power, proclaimed aloud—‘Let the
+whole world take notice, that the wounds I have received were owing to
+the fault of my horse alone; carry me therefore to bed, and send if
+possible for the sage Urganda[39], to search and cure them.’—‘See now,
+in an evil hour,’ cried the housekeeper, hearing these words, ‘if I did
+not truly foretel of what leg my master was lame!—Your worship shall
+understand, in good time, that without the assistance of that same
+Urganda, we know how to cure the hurts you have received; and cursed, I
+say, nay a hundred and a hundred times cursed, be those books of
+chivalry, which have so disordered your honour’s brain!’ Having carried
+him to his bed, they began to search for his wounds, but could find
+none; and he told them that his whole body was one continued bruise,
+occasioned by the fall of his horse Rozinante, during his engagement
+with ten of the most insolent and outrageous giants that ever appeared
+upon the face of the earth. ‘Ah, ha!’ cried the curate, ‘have we got
+giants too in the dance! Now, by the faith of my function, I will reduce
+them all to ashes before to-morrow night!’
+
+A thousand questions did they ask of the knight, who made no other
+answer, but desired them to bring him some food, and leave him to his
+repose, which indeed was what he had most occasion for. They complied
+with his request, and the curate informed himself at large of the manner
+in which he had been found by the countryman, who gave him full
+satisfaction in that particular, and repeated all the nonsense he had
+uttered when he first found him, as well as what he afterwards spoke in
+their way home. This information confirmed the licentiate in his
+resolution, which was executed next day, when he brought his friend
+master Nicolas the barber along with him to Don Quixote’s house.
+
+Footnote 38:
+
+ The author seems to have committed a small oversight in this
+ paragraph; for the knight had not been gone above two days and one
+ night, which he spent in watching his armour.
+
+Footnote 39:
+
+ The name of a good-natured inchantress in Amadis de Gaul. During the
+ age of knight-errantry, it was usual for ladies to study the art of
+ surgery, in order to dress the wounds of those knights who were their
+ servants. One of the heroines of Perce Forest says to Norgal, ‘Fair
+ nephew, methinks your arm is not at ease.’—‘In faith, dear lady,’
+ answered Norgal, ‘you are in the right; and I beseech you to take it
+ under your care.’ Then she called her daughter Helen, who entertained
+ her cousin with good cheer, and afterwards reduced his arm which was
+ dislocated.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VI.
+ OF THE DIVERTING AND MINUTE SCRUTINY PERFORMED BY THE CURATE AND THE
+ BARBER, IN THE LIBRARY OF OUR SAGACIOUS HERO.
+
+
+While the knight was asleep, his friends came and demanded of his niece
+the key of the closet in which those books, the authors of his
+misfortune, were kept; and she delivering it with great chearfulness,
+they went into it in a body, housekeeper and all, and found upwards of a
+hundred volumes, great and small, extremely well bound; which were no
+sooner perceived by the governante, than she ran out with great
+eagerness, and immediately returned with a porringer of holy water, and
+a sprig of hyssop, saying—‘Here, Master Licentiate, pray take and
+sprinkle the closet, lest some one of the many inchanters contained in
+these books should exercise his art upon us, as a punishment for our
+burning and banishing them from the face of the earth.’
+
+The licentiate, smiling at the old housekeeper’s simplicity, desired the
+barber to hand him the books one by one, that he might see of what
+subjects they treated, because they might possibly find some that did
+not deserve to be purged by fire. ‘There is not one of them,’ replied
+the niece, ‘which deserves the least mercy, for they are all full of
+mischief and deceit. You had better, therefore, throw them out of the
+window into the court-yard, and there set fire to them in a heap: or let
+them be carried into the back-yard, where the bonfire may be made, and
+the smoke will offend nobody.’ The housekeeper assented to this
+proposal, so eager were they both to destroy those innocents; but the
+curate would by no means encourage such barbarity, without reading
+first, if possible, the title-pages.
+
+The first that Master Nicolas delivered into his hand, were the four
+volumes of Amadis de Gaul. ‘There is,’ said the good man, ‘something
+mysterious in this circumstance; for, as I have heard, that was the
+first book of chivalry printed in Spain, from which all the rest have
+derived their origin and plan; and therefore, in my opinion, we ought to
+condemn him to the fire, without hesitation, as the law-giver of such a
+pernicious sect.’—‘By no means,’ cried the barber; ‘for I have also
+heard, that this is the best book of the kind that was ever composed;
+and therefore ought to be pardoned, as an original and model in its
+way.’—‘Right,’ said the curate; ‘and for that reason he shall be spared
+for the present. Let us see that author who stands next to him.’—‘This,’
+says the barber, ‘contains the atchievements of Esplandian, the lawful
+son of Amadis de Gaul.’—‘Truly, then,’ said the curate, ‘the virtues of
+the father shall not avail the son. Here, Mrs Housekeeper, open that
+window, and toss him into the yard, where he shall serve as a foundation
+for the bonfire we intend to make.’
+
+This talk the housekeeper performed with infinite satisfaction; and the
+worthy Esplandian took his flight into the yard, to wait in patience for
+the fire with which he was threatened. ‘Proceed,’ cried the curate.
+‘This that comes next,’ said the barber, ‘is Amadis of Greece; and I
+believe all the authors on this shelf are of the same family.’—‘To the
+yard, then, with all of them,’ replied the curate; ‘for rather than not
+burn Queen Pintiquiniestra, and the shepherd Darinel with his eclogues,
+together with the unintelligible and bedevilled discourses of his
+author; I would even consume the father who begat me, should he appear
+in the figure of a knight-errant.’—‘I am of your opinion,’ said the
+barber. ‘And I,’ cried the niece. ‘Since that is the case,’ said the
+housekeeper, ‘to the yard with them immediately.’ Accordingly, they
+delivered a number into her hands; and she, out of tenderness for the
+stair-case, sent them all out of the window.
+
+‘Who may that tun-like author be?’ said the curate. ‘This here,’
+answered the barber, ‘is Don Olivante de Laura.’—‘The very same,’
+replied the curate, ‘who composed the Garden of Flowers; and truly it is
+hard to determine, which of his two books is the most true, or rather
+which of them is least false: all that I know is, that he shall go to
+the pile for his arrogance and folly.’—‘He that follows,’ says the
+barber, ‘is Florismarte of Hircania.’—‘What, Signior Florismarte?’
+replied the curate: ‘in faith, then he must prepare for his fate;
+notwithstanding his surprizing birth, and mighty adventures, and the
+unparalleled stiffness and sterility of his stile.—Down with him,
+Mistress Housekeeper! and take this other along with you also.’—‘With
+all my heart, dear Sir!’ replied the governante; who executed his
+commands with vast alacrity.
+
+‘He that comes next,’ said the barber, ‘is the knight Platir.’—‘That is
+an old book,’ said the clergyman; ‘but as I can find nothing in him that
+deserves the least regard, he must e’en keep the rest company.’ He was
+accordingly doomed to the flames, without farther question. The next
+book they opened was intituled, The Knight of the Cross; which the
+curate having read, ‘The ignorance of this author,’ said he, ‘might be
+pardoned, on account of his holy title; but according to the proverb,
+“The devil skulks behind the cross;” and therefore let him descend into
+the fire.’ Master Nicolas taking up another book, found it was the
+Mirror of Chivalry. ‘Oh, ho!’ cried the curate, ‘I have the honour to
+know his worship. Away with Signior Rinaldo de Mont-alban, with his
+friends and companions, who were greater thieves than Cacus; not
+forgetting the Twelve Peers, together with Turpin, their candid
+historian. Though, truly, in my opinion, their punishment ought not to
+exceed perpetual banishment, because they contain some part of the
+invention of the renowned Matteo Boyardo, on which was weaved the
+ingenious web of the Christian poet Ludovico Ariosto; to whom, should I
+find him here speaking in any other language than his own, I would pay
+no regard; but, if he talks in his own idiom, I will place him on my
+head, in token of respect.’—‘I have got him at home,’ said the barber,
+‘in Italian, but I don’t understand that language.’—‘Nor is it necessary
+you should,’ replied the curate: ‘and here let us pray Heaven to forgive
+the captain, who has impoverished him so much, by translating him into
+Spanish, and making him a Castilian. And, indeed, the same thing will
+happen to all those who pretend to translate books of poetry into a
+foreign language; for, in spite of all their care and ability, they will
+find it impossible to give the translation the same energy which is
+found in the original. In short, I sentence this book, and all those
+which we shall find treating of French matters, to be thrown and
+deposited in a dry well, until we can determine at more leisure what
+fate they must undergo, except Bernardo del Carpio, and another called
+Roncesvalles, which if they fall into my hands, shall pass into those of
+the housekeeper, and thence into the fire, without any mitigation.’
+
+This was approved of as an equitable decision, and accordingly confirmed
+by the barber, who knew the curate to be such a good Christian, and so
+much a friend to truth, that he would not be guilty of an equivocation
+for the whole universe. The next volume he opened was Palmerin D’Oliva;
+and hard by him stood another, called Palmerin of England; which was no
+sooner perceived by the licentiate, than he cried, ‘Let that Oliva be
+hewn in pieces, and burned; so as not so much as a cinder of him shall
+remain; but let the English Palmerin be defended, and preferred as an
+inestimable jewel, and such another casket be made for him as that which
+Alexander found among the spoils of Darius, and destined as a case for
+the works of Homer. That book, neighbour, is venerable for two reasons,
+first, because it is in itself excellent; and, secondly, because it is
+said to have been composed by an ingenious king of Portugal. All the
+adventures of the castle of Miraguarda are incomparable, and contrived
+with infinite art; the language perspicuous and elegant, and the
+characters supported with great propriety of sentiment and decorum. I
+propose, Mr. Nicolas, saving your better judgment, to exempt this book
+and Amadis de Gaul from the flames, and let all the rest perish without
+farther enquiry.’
+
+‘Pardon me, neighbour,’ replied the barber, ‘I have here got in my hand
+the renowned Don Bellianis.’—‘Even he,’ answered the priest, ‘with the
+second, third, and fourth parts, stands very much in need of a little
+rhubarb to purge his excessive choler, and ought to be pruned of that
+whole Castle of Fame, and other more important impertinences. For which
+reason, let the sentence be changed into transportation; and, according
+as he reforms he shall be treated with lenity and justice. In the mean
+time, friend Nicolas, keep him safe in your house, out of the reach of
+every reader.’—‘With all my soul!’ answered the barber; and without
+giving themselves the trouble of reading any more titles, they ordered
+the housekeeper to dismiss all the large books into the yard.
+
+This direction was not given to a person who was either doating or deaf,
+but to one who was much more inclined to perform that office than to
+compose the largest and finest web that ever was seen. Taking up,
+therefore, seven or eight at a time, she heaved them out of the window,
+with incredible dispatch. While she was thus endeavouring to lift a good
+many together, one of them chanced to fall at the feet of the barber,
+who being seized with an inclination of knowing the contents, found upon
+examination, that it was called the History of the famous Knight Tirante
+the White. ‘Heaven be praised!’ cried the curate, aloud, ‘that we have
+discovered Tirante the White in this place: pray give it me, neighbour;
+for in this book I reckon I have found a treasure of satisfaction, and a
+rich mine of amusement. Here is the famous Godamercy[40], of Mont-alban,
+and his brother Thomas of Mont-alban, and the knight Fonseca, as also an
+account of the battle fought between Alano and the valiant Detriante,
+together with the Witticisms of the Young Lady, Joy of my Life, with the
+amorous stratagems of the Widow Quiet, and her highness the Empress who
+was enamoured of her Squire Hippolito. I do assure you, upon my word,
+Mr. Nicolas, that, in point of stile, this is the best book that ever
+was written. Here the knights eat, sleep, and die, in their beds, after
+having made their wills, with many circumstances that are wanting in
+other books of the same kind. Notwithstanding, the author who composed
+it certainly deserved to be sent to the gallies for life, for having
+spent his time in writing so much nonsense. Take and read him at home,
+and you shall find what I say to be true.’—‘Very like,’ replied the
+barber: ‘what shall we do with these small books that remain?’
+
+‘These,’ said the curate, ‘cannot be books of chivalry, but must be
+poems.’ Accordingly, opening one, he found it was the Diana of George de
+Monte-major, and taking it for granted that all the rest were of the
+same kind, said, ‘These books do not deserve to be burnt with the rest;
+for they neither are nor ever will be guilty of so much mischief, as
+those of chivalry have done; being books of entertainment, and no ways
+prejudicial to religion.’—‘Pray, Sir,’ said the niece, ‘be so good as to
+order these to be burnt with the rest; for my uncle will no sooner be
+cured of his knight-errantry, than by reading these, he will turn
+shepherd, and wander about the groves and meadows, piping and singing.
+Nay, what is worse, perhaps turn poet, which they say is an infectious
+and incurable distemper.’—‘The young woman is in the right,’ said the
+curate; ‘and therefore it won’t be amiss to remove this temptation and
+stumbling block out of our friend’s way. Since we have therefore begun
+with the Diana of Monte-major, I am of opinion that we should not burn
+him, but only expunge what relates to the sage Felicia, and the
+inchanted water, together with all the larger poems, and leave to him, a
+God’s name, all the prose, and the honour of being the ring-leader of
+the writers of that class.’
+
+‘This that follows,’ said the barber, ‘is called Diana the Second of
+Salmantino, and this other that bears the same name, is written by Gil
+Polo.’—‘Let Salmantino,’ replied the curate, ‘increase the number of
+those that are already condemned to the yard; but let Gil Polo be
+preserved as carefully as if it was the production of Apollo himself.
+Proceed, friend Nicolas, and let us dispatch, for it grows late.’—‘This
+here book,’ said the barber, opening the next, ‘is called the ten books
+of the Fortune of Love, the production of Antonio Lofrasco, a Sardinian
+poet.’—‘By my holy orders,’ cried the curate, ‘since Phœbus was Apollo,
+the Muses the daughters of Jove, and bards delighted in poetry, there
+never was such a pleasant and comical performance composed as this,
+which is the best and most original of the kind which ever saw the
+light; and he who has not read it may assure himself, that he has never
+read any thing of taste: reach it me, neighbour; it gives me more
+pleasure to have found this, than if I had received a cassock of
+Florence silk.’
+
+Accordingly, he laid it carefully by with infinite pleasure, and the
+barber proceeded in his talk, saying; ‘Those that come next are the
+Shepherd of Iberia, the Nymphs of Henares, and the Undeceptions of
+Jealousy.’—‘Then there is no more to do,’ said the priest, ‘but to
+deliver them over to the secular arm of the housekeeper; and do not ask
+me why, else we shall never have done.’—‘Here comes the Shepherd of
+Filida.’—‘He is no shepherd,’ cried the curate, ‘but a very elegant
+courtier, and therefore preserve him as a precious jewel.’ Then the
+barber laid hold of a very large volume, which was entitled, The
+Treasure of Poetry. ‘If there was not so much of him, he would be more
+esteemed,’ said the licentiate, ‘that book ought to be weeded and
+cleared of certain meannesses, which have crept into the midst of its
+excellencies: take care of it, for the author is my friend, and deserves
+regard for some other more heroick and elevated works, which he has
+composed.’—‘And this,’ continued the barber, ‘is a Collection of Songs,
+by Lopez Maldonado.’—‘That author is my very good friend also,’ replied
+the curate; ‘and his own verses out of his own mouth are the admiration
+of every body; for he chants them with so sweet a voice, that the
+hearers are inchanted. His eclogues are indeed a little diffuse, but
+there cannot be too much of a good thing. Let them be preserved among
+the elect: but, pray what book is that next to it?’ When the barber told
+him it was the Galatea of Miguel de Cervantes; ‘That same Cervantes,’
+said he, ‘has been an intimate friend of mine these many years, and is
+to my certain knowledge more conversant with misfortunes than poetry.
+There is a good vein of invention in his book, which proposes something,
+though it concludes nothing. We must wait for the second part, which he
+promises, and then perhaps his amendment may deserve a full pardon,
+which is now denied: until that happens, let him be close confined in
+your closet.’
+
+‘With all my heart,’ replied the barber; ‘but here come three more
+together, the Araucana of Don Alonzo de Ercilla, the Austriada of Juan
+Ruso Jurado de Cordova, and the Monserrato of Christoval de Virues, a
+Valentian poet.’—‘These three books,’ said the curate, ‘are the best
+epic poems in the Castilian language, and may be compared with the most
+renowned performances of Italy. Let them be kept as the inestimable
+pledges of Spanish poetry.’ The curate grew tired of examining more
+books, and would have condemned all the rest, contents unknown, if the
+barber had not already opened another, which was called the Tears of
+Angelica. ‘I should have shed tears for my rashness,’ said the curate,
+hearing the name, ‘if I had ordered that book to be burned: for its
+author was one of the most celebrated poets, not only of Spain, but of
+the whole world; and, in particular, extremely successful in translating
+some of the Metamorphoses of Ovid.’
+
+Footnote 40:
+
+ In the original, _Quirielyson_, from the two Greek words κύριε
+ ἐλέησον, signifying, Lord have mercy.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VII.
+ THE SECOND SALLY OF OUR WORTHY KNIGHT DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA.
+
+
+While they were busied in this manner, Don Quixote began to cry aloud,
+‘This way, this way, ye valiant knights! now is the time to shew the
+strength of your invincible arms, that the courtiers may not carry off
+the honour of the tournament.’ The scrutiny of the books that remained
+was deserted by the curate and barber, who hastened to the author of
+this noisy exclamation, and it is believed that all were committed to
+the flames, unseen, unheard, not even excepting the Carolea, and Lyon of
+Spain, together with the exploits of the emperor, composed by Don Louis
+D’Avila; which were, doubtless, among those committed to the fire;
+though, perhaps, had the curate seen them, they would not have undergone
+so severe a sentence.
+
+When they arrived in Don Quixote’s chamber, they found him on the floor,
+proceeding with his rhapsody, and fencing with the walls, as broad awake
+as if he had never felt the influence of sleep. Laying hold on him, by
+force they re-conveyed him to his bed; where, after having rested a
+little, he returned to his ravings, and addressed himself to the curate
+in these words: ‘Certainly, my Lord Archbishop Turpin, we, who are
+called the Twelve Peers of France, will be greatly disgraced, if we
+allow the court-knights to win the victory in this tournament, after we,
+the adventurers, have gained the prize in the three preceding
+days.’—‘Give yourself no trouble about that consideration, my worthy
+friend,’ said the curate; ‘for Providence may turn the scale, and what
+is lost to-day may be retrieved to-morrow. In the mean time, have a
+reverend care of your health, for you seem to be excessively fatigued,
+if not wounded grievously.’—‘I am not wounded,’ replied the knight: ‘but
+that I am battered and bruised, there is no manner of doubt; for the
+bastard Don Orlando has mauled me to mummy with the trunk of an oak, and
+all out of mere envy, because he saw that I alone withstood his valour.
+But may I no longer deserve the name of Reynaldos de Montalban, if, when
+I rise from this bed, I do not repay him in his own coin, in spite of
+all his inchantments! Meanwhile, bring me some food, which is what I
+chiefly want at present, and let me alone to take vengeance for the
+injury I have received.’
+
+In compliance with his desire they brought him something to eat, and
+left him again to his repose, not without admiration of his madness and
+extravagance. That very night the housekeeper set fire to, and consumed,
+not only all the books that were in the yard, but also every one she
+could find in the house; and no doubt many were burned, which deserved
+to have been kept as perpetual archives. But this their destiny, and the
+laziness of the inquisitors, would not allow; so that in them was
+fulfilled the old proverb, _a saint may sometimes suffer for a sinner_.
+Another remedy which the curate and barber prescribed for the distemper
+of their friend, was to alter and block up the closet where his books
+had been kept; that upon his getting up, he should not find them, and
+the cause being taken away, the effect might cease; and that, upon his
+inquiry, they should tell him an inchanter had carried them off, closet
+and all; this resolution was executed with all imaginable dispatch,
+during the two days that Don Quixote kept his bed.
+
+The first thing he did when he got up, was to go and visit his books,
+and not finding the apartment where he had left it, he went from one
+corner of the house to the other in quest of his study. Coming to the
+place where the door stood, he endeavoured but in vain to get in, and
+cast his eyes all around without uttering one syllable; but after he had
+spent some time in this sort of examination, he inquired of his
+housekeeper whereabouts he might find his book-closet. She being well
+instructed, readily answered, ‘What closet, or what nothing is your
+worship in search of? There are neither books nor closet in this house;
+for the devil himself has run away with both.’—‘It was not the devil,’
+cried the niece, ‘but an inchanter that conveyed himself hither in a
+cloud, one night after your worship’s departure, and alighting from a
+dragon on which he was mounted, entered the closet, where I know not
+what he did, but having staid a very little while, he came flying
+through the roof, leaving the whole house full of smoke. And when we
+went to see what he had done, we could neither find books nor closet;
+only the housekeeper and I can very well remember, that when the old
+wicked conjuror went away, he cried in a loud voice, that for the hatred
+he bore to the master of those books and closet, he had done that
+mischief, which would afterwards appear: he said also, that his name was
+the sage Munaton.’—‘You mean Freston,’ said Don Quixote. ‘I do not
+know,’ answered the housekeeper, ‘whether it was Freston or Friton; but
+this I am certain of, that his name ended in ton.’—‘The case then is
+plain,’ said the knight; ‘that same sage inchanter is one of my greatest
+enemies; who bears me a grudge, because he knows, by the mystery of his
+art, that the time will come when I shall fight and vanquish in single
+battle a certain knight, whom he favours, in spite of all he can do to
+prevent my success; and for this reason, he endeavours to give me every
+mortification in his power; but let me tell him he won’t find it an easy
+matter to contradict or evade what Heaven has decreed.’—‘Who ever
+doubted that?’ said the niece; ‘but what business have you, dear uncle,
+with these quarrels? Would it not be better to live in peace at home,
+than to stray up and down the world in search of superfine bread,
+without considering that many a one goes out for wool, and comes home
+quite shorn.’—‘My dear niece,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘you are altogether
+out of your reckoning. Before I be shorn, I will pull and pluck off the
+beards of all those who pretend to touch a single hair of my mustacho.’
+
+The two women did not chuse to make any farther answer, because they
+perceived that his choler was very much inflamed. After this
+transaction, however, he staid at home fifteen days in great
+tranquillity, without giving the least sign or inclination to repeat his
+folly; during which time, many infinitely diverting conversations passed
+between him and his friends, the curate and the barber; wherein he
+observed, that the world was in want of nothing so much as of
+knights-errant, and that in him this honourable order was revived. The
+clergyman sometimes contradicted him, and sometimes assented to what he
+said, because, without this artful conduct, he would have had no chance
+of bringing him to reason.
+
+About this time, too, the knight tampered with a peasant in the
+neighbourhood, a very honest fellow, if a poor man may deserve that
+title, but one who had a very small quantity of brains in his skull. In
+short, he said so much, used so many arguments to persuade, and promised
+him such mountains of wealth, that this poor simpleton determined to
+follow and serve him in quality of squire. Among other things, that he
+might be disposed to engage chearfully, the knight told him that an
+adventure might one day happen, in which he should win some island in
+the twinkling of an eye, and appoint him governor of his conquest.
+Intoxicated with these and other such promises, Sancho Panza (so was the
+countryman called) deserted his wife and children, and listed himself as
+his neighbour’s squire.
+
+Thus far successful, Don Quixote took measures for supplying himself
+with money; and what by selling one thing, mortgaging another, and
+making a great many very bad bargains, he raised a tolerable sum. At the
+same time accommodating himself with a target, which he borrowed of a
+friend, and patching up the remains of his vizor as well as he could, he
+advertised his squire Sancho of the day and hour in which he resolved to
+set out, that he might provide himself with those things which he
+thought most necessary for the occasion; above all things, charging him
+to purchase a wallet. Sancho promised to obey his orders; and moreover
+said he was resolved to carry along with him an excellent ass which he
+had, as he was not designed by nature to travel far on foot.
+
+With regard to the ass, Don Quixote demurred a little, endeavouring to
+recollect some knight-errant who had entertained a squire mounted on an
+ass; but as no such instance occurred to his memory, he was nevertheless
+determined to allow it on this occasion, on a supposition that he should
+be able to accommodate him with a more honourable carriage, by
+dismounting the first discourteous knight he should meet with. He also
+laid in a store of linen, and every thing else in his power, conformable
+to the advice of the innkeeper.
+
+Every thing being thus settled and fulfilled, Panza, without taking
+leave of his children and wife; and Don Quixote, without bidding adieu
+to his niece and housekeeper, sallied forth from the village one night,
+unperceived by any living soul, and travelled so hard, that before dawn
+they found themselves secure from all search, if any such had been made:
+Sancho Panza journeying upon his ass like a venerable patriarch, with
+his wallet and leathern bottle, longing extremely to see himself settled
+in the government of that island which was promised to him by his
+master.
+
+The knight happened to take the same route and follow the same road in
+which he travelled at his first sally through the field of Montiel, over
+which he now passed with much less pains than formerly, because it was
+now early in the morning, the rays of the sun were more oblique,
+consequently he was less disturbed by the heat. It was hereabouts that
+Sancho first opened his mouth, saying to his master, ‘Sir knight-errant,
+I hope your worship will not forget that same island which you have
+promised me, and which I warrant myself able to govern, let it be as
+great as it will.’ To this remonstrance Don Quixote replied, ‘You must
+know, friend Sancho Panza, that it was an established custom among the
+ancient knights-errant, to invest their squires with the government of
+such islands and kingdoms as they had laid under their subjection; and I
+am firmly resolved, that such a grateful practice shall never fail in
+me, who, on the contrary, mean to improve it by my generosity; for they
+sometimes, nay generally, waited until their squires turned grey-haired,
+and then, after they were worn out with service, and had endured many
+dismal days and doleful nights, bestowed upon them the title of count or
+marquis, at least of some valley or province, more or less; but if
+Heaven spares thy life and mine, before six days be at an end, I may
+chance to acquire such a kingdom as shall have others depending upon it,
+as if expressly designed for thee to be crowned sovereign in one of
+them. And thou oughtest not to be surprized, that such incidents and
+accidents happen to knights-errant, by means never before known or
+conceived, as will enable me even to exceed my promise.’—‘In that case,’
+replied Sancho Panza, ‘if I should ever become a king, by any of those
+miracles which your worship mentions, my duck Juana Gutierez would also
+be a queen, and each of my daughters an infanta.’—‘Certainly,’ said the
+knight; ‘who doubts that?’—‘That do I,’ said the squire; ‘for certain I
+am, that though it were to rain kingdoms upon the earth, not one of them
+would fit seemly on the head of Mary Gutierez[41]; your worship must
+know, she is not worth a farthing for a queen; she might do indeed for a
+countess, with the blessing of God, and good assistance.’—‘Recommend the
+matter to Providence,’ replied Don Quixote, which will bestow upon thee
+what will be best adapted to thy capacity; but let not thy soul be so
+far debased, as to content itself with any thing less than a
+vice-royalty.’—‘That I will not,’ answered Sancho, ‘especially as I have
+a powerful master in your worship, who will load me with as much
+preferment as I can conveniently bear.’
+
+Footnote 41:
+
+ How comes Juana to be so suddenly metamorphosed into Mary?
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VIII.
+ OF THE HAPPY SUCCESS OF THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE,
+ AND THE DREADFUL AND INCONCEIVABLE ADVENTURE OF THE WIND-MILLS,
+ WITH OTHER INCIDENTS WORTHY TO BE RECORDED
+ BY THE MOST ABLE HISTORIAN.
+
+
+In the midst of this their conversation, they discovered thirty or forty
+wind-mills all together on the plain, which the knight no sooner
+perceived, than he said to his squire, ‘Chance has conducted our affairs
+even better than we could either wish or hope for; look there, friend
+Sancho, and behold thirty or forty outrageous giants, with whom I intend
+to engage in battle, and put every soul of them to death, so that we may
+begin to enrich ourselves with their spoils; for it is a meritorious
+warfare, and serviceable both to God and man, to extirpate such a wicked
+race from the face of the earth.’—‘What giants do you mean?’ said Sancho
+Panza in amaze. ‘Those you see yonder,’ replied his master, ‘with vast
+extended arms; some of which are two leagues long.’—‘I would your
+worship would take notice,’ replied Sancho, ‘that those you see yonder
+are no giants, but wind-mills; and what seem arms to you, are sails,
+which being turned with the wind, make the mill-stone work.’—‘It seems
+very plain,’ said the knight, ‘that you are but a novice in adventures;
+these I affirm to be giants; and if thou art afraid, get out of the
+reach of danger, and put up thy prayers for me, while I join with them
+in fierce and unequal combat.’ So saying, he put spurs to his steed
+Rozinante, without paying the least regard to the cries of his squire
+Sancho, who assured him, that those he was going to attack were no
+giants, but innocent wind-mills: but he was so much possessed with the
+opinion that they were giants, that he neither heard the advice of his
+squire Sancho, nor would use the intelligence of his own eyes, though he
+was very near them; on the contrary, when he approached them, he called
+aloud, ‘Fly not, ye base and cowardly miscreants, for he is but a single
+knight who now attacks you.’ At that instant a breeze of wind springing
+up, the great sails began to turn; which being perceived by Don Quixote,
+‘Tho’ you wield,’ said he, ‘more arms than ever belonged to the giant
+Briareus, I will make you pay for your insolence.’ So saying, and
+heartily recommending himself to his Lady Dulcinea, whom he implored to
+succour him in this emergency, bracing on his target, and setting his
+lance in the rest, he put his Rozinante to full speed, and assaulting
+the nearest wind-mill, thrust it into one of the sails, which was drove
+about by the wind with so much fury, that the lance was shivered to
+pieces, and both knight and steed whirled aloft, and overthrown in very
+bad plight upon the plain.
+
+Sancho Panza rode as fast as the ass could carry him to his assistance;
+and when he came up, found him unable to stir, by reason of the bruises
+which he and Rozinante had received. ‘Lord have mercy upon us!’ said the
+squire, ‘did not I tell your worship to consider well what you were
+about? Did not I assure you, they were no other than wind-mills? Indeed,
+no body could mistake them for any thing else, but one who has
+wind-mills in his own head!’—‘Pr’ythee, hold thy peace, friend Sancho,’
+replied Don Quixote; ‘the affairs of war are more than any thing subject
+to change. How much more so, as I believe, nay, am certain, that the
+sage Freston, who stole my closet and books, has converted those giants
+into mills, in order to rob me of the honour of their overthrow; such is
+the enmity he bears me; but in the end, all his treacherous arts will
+but little avail against the vigour of my sword.’—‘God’s will be done!’
+replied Sancho Panza, who helped him to rise and mount Rozinante that
+was almost disjointed.
+
+While they conversed together upon what had happened, they followed the
+road that leads to the pass of Lapice; for in that, which was a great
+thoroughfare, as Don Quixote observed, it was impossible but they must
+meet with many and divers adventures. As he jogged along, a good deal
+concerned for the loss of his lance, he said to his squire, ‘I remember
+to have read of a Spanish knight, called Diego Perez de Vargos, who,
+having broke his sword in battle, tore off a mighty branch or bough from
+an oak, with which he performed such wonders, and felled so many Moors,
+that he retained the name of Machuca, or the Feller, and all his
+descendants from that day forward have gone by the name of Vargos and
+Machuca. This circumstance I mention to thee, because, from the first
+ash or oak that I meet with, I am resolved to rend as large and stout a
+bough as that, with which I expect, and intend to perform such exploits,
+as thou shalt think thyself extremely happy in being thought worthy to
+see, and give testimony to feats otherwise incredible.’—‘By God’s help,’
+says Sancho, ‘I believe that every thing will happen as your worship
+says: but pray, Sir, sit a little more upright; for you seem to lean
+strangely to one side, which must proceed from the bruises you received
+in your fall.’—‘Thou art in the right,’ answered Don Quixote; ‘and if I
+do not complain of the pain, it is because knights-errant are not
+permitted to complain of any wound they receive, even though their
+bowels should come out of their bodies.’—‘If that be the case, I have
+nothing to reply,’ said Sancho; ‘but God knows, I should be glad your
+worship would complain when any thing gives you pain; this I know, that,
+for my own part, the smallest prick in the world would make me complain,
+if that law of not complaining does not reach to the squires as well as
+the knights.’ Don Quixote could not help smiling at the simplicity of
+his squire, to whom he gave permission to complain as much and as often
+as he pleased, whether he had cause or no; for, as yet, he had read
+nothing to the contrary in the history of knight-errantry.
+
+Then Sancho observing that it was dinner-time, his master told him, that
+for the present he had no occasion for food; but that he, his squire,
+might go to victuals when he pleased. With this permission, Sancho
+adjusted himself as well as he could upon his ass, and taking out the
+provision with which he had stuffed his wallet, he dropped behind his
+master a good way, and kept his jaws agoing as he jogged along, lifting
+the bottle to his head, from time to time, with so much satisfaction,
+that the most pampered vintner of Malaga might have envied his
+situation.
+
+While he travelled in this manner, repeating his agreeable draughts, he
+never thought of the promise which his master had made to him, nor
+considered it as a toil, but rather as a diversion, to go in quest of
+adventures, how dangerous soever they might be: in fine, that night they
+passed under a tuft of trees, from one of which Don Quixote tore a
+withered branch to serve instead of a lance; and fitted to it the iron
+head he had taken from that which was broken: all night long the knight
+closed not an eye, but mused upon his Lady Dulcinea, in order to
+accommodate himself to what he had read of those errants who had passed
+many sleepless nights in woods and desarts, entertaining themselves with
+the remembrance of their mistresses.
+
+This was not the case with Sancho Panza, whose belly being well
+replenished, and that not with plantane water, made but one nap of the
+whole night, and even then would not have waked, unless his master had
+called to him, notwithstanding the sun-beams that played upon his face,
+and the singing of the birds, which in great numbers, and joyous melody,
+saluted the approach of the new day. The first thing he did when he got
+up, was to visit his bottle, which finding considerably more lank than
+it was the night before, he was grievously afflicted, because in the
+road that they pursued, he had no hopes of being able in a little time
+to supply its defect. Don Quixote refusing to breakfast, because, as we
+have already said, he regaled himself with the savoury remembrance of
+his mistress, they pursued their journey towards the pass; which, after
+three days travelling, they discovered. ‘Here,’ cried Don Quixote,
+‘here, brother Sancho Panza, we shall be able to dip our hands up to our
+elbows in what is called adventure; but take notice, although thou seest
+me beset with the most extreme danger, thou must by no means even so
+much as lay thy hand upon thy sword, with design to defend me, unless I
+am assaulted by vulgar and low-born antagonists; in which case thou
+mayest come to my assistance; but if they are knights, thou art by no
+means permitted or licensed, by the laws of chivalry, to give me the
+least succour, until thou thyself hast received the honour of
+knighthood[42].’—‘As for that matter,’ replied Sancho, ‘your worship
+shall be obeyed to a tittle; for I am a very peaceable man, and not at
+all fond of meddling with riots and quarrels. True, indeed, in the
+defence of my own person, I shall not pay much regard to the said laws,
+seeing every one that is aggrieved is permitted to defend himself by all
+the laws of God and man.’—‘I say nothing to the contrary,’ replied Don
+Quixote; ‘but in the affair of assisting me against knights, thou must
+keep thy natural impetuosity under the rein.’—‘That will I,’ answered
+Sancho, ‘and keep your honour’s command as strictly as I keep the Lord’s
+day.’
+
+While they were engaged in this conversation, there appeared before them
+two Benedictine monks mounted upon dromedaries, for their mules were not
+much less, with their travelling spectacles and umbrellas; after them
+came a coach, accompanied by four or five people on horseback, and two
+mule-drivers on foot. In this carriage, it was afterwards known, a
+Biscayan lady was travelling to Seville to her husband, who was bound to
+the Indies with a rich cargo.
+
+Don Quixote no sooner perceived the friars, (who though they travelled
+the same road, were not of her company) than he said to his squire, ‘If
+I am not very much mistaken, that will be the most famous adventure that
+ever was known, for those black apparitions on the road must doubtless
+be inchanters, who are carrying off in that coach some princess they
+have stolen; and there is a necessity for my exerting my whole power in
+redressing her wrongs.’—‘This will be worse than the wind-mills,’ cried
+Sancho: ‘for the love of God! Sir, consider that these are Benedictine
+friars; and those who are in the coach can be no other than common
+travellers. Mind what I say, and consider what you do, and let not the
+devil deceive you.’—‘I have told thee already, Sancho,’ replied Don
+Quixote, ‘that with regard to adventures, thou art utterly ignorant:
+what I say is true, and in a moment thou shalt be convinced.’
+
+So saying, he rode forward, and placed himself in the middle of the
+highway through which the friars were to pass; and when he thought them
+near enough to hear what he said, he pronounced, in a loud voice,
+‘Monstrous and diabolical race! surrender, this instant, those high-born
+princesses, whom you carry captives in that coach; or prepare to receive
+immediate death, as a just punishment for your misdeeds.’ The friars
+immediately stopped short, astonished as much at the figure as at the
+discourse of Don Quixote: to which they replied, ‘Sir knight, we are
+neither diabolical nor monstrous, but innocent monks of the order of St.
+Benedict, who are going this way about our own affairs; neither do we
+know of any princesses that are carried captives in that coach.’—‘These
+fawning speeches,’ said Don Quixote, ‘shall not impose upon me, who know
+too well what a treacherous pack ye are.’ And without waiting for any
+other reply, he put spurs to Rozinante; and couching his lance, attacked
+the first friar with such fury and resolution, that if he had not thrown
+himself from his mule, he would have come to the ground extremely
+ill-handled, not without some desperate wound, nay, perhaps stone dead.
+The second monk, who saw how his companion had been treated, clapped
+spurs to the flanks of his trusty mule, and flew through the field even
+swifter than the wind.
+
+Sancho Panza seeing the friar on the ground, leaped from his ass with
+great agility, and beginning to uncase him with the utmost dexterity,
+two of their servants came up, and asked for what reason he stripped
+their master. The squire replied, that the cloaths belonged to him, as
+the spoils that Don Quixote, his lord, had won in battle: but the
+others, who did not understand raillery, nor knew any thing of spoils
+and battles, seeing Don Quixote at a good distance, talking with the
+ladies in the coach, went to loggerheads with Sancho, whom they soon
+overthrew; and, without leaving one hair of his beard, mauled him so
+unmercifully, that he lay stretched upon the ground, without sense or
+motion. Then, with the utmost dispatch, the friar mounted, as pale as a
+sheet, and almost frightened to death; and no sooner found himself on
+horseback, than he galloped towards his companion, who tarried at a good
+distance, to see the issue of this strange adventure. However, being
+joined again, without waiting for the conclusion of it, they pursued
+their journey; making as many crosses as if the devil had been at their
+backs.
+
+Don Quixote, in the mean time, as we have already observed, was engaged
+in conversation with the lady in the coach, to whom he expressed himself
+in this manner; ‘Beautiful lady, you may now dispose of your own person
+according to your pleasure; for the pride of your ravishers lies level
+with the ground, being overthrown by this my invincible arm; and that
+you may be at no difficulty in understanding the same of your deliverer,
+know that I am Don Quixote de la Mancha, knight-errant, adventurer and
+captive of the unparalleled and beautiful Donna Dulcinea del Toboso: and
+the only acknowledgment I expect for the benefit you have received is,
+that you return to that place, and presenting yourself before my
+mistress, tell her what I have performed in behalf of your liberty.’
+This whole address of the knight was overheard by a Biscayan squire, who
+accompanied the coach, and who, seeing that he would not allow the
+carriage to pass forward, but insisted upon their immediate returning to
+Toboso, rode up to Don Quixote, and laying hold of his lance, spoke to
+him thus in bad Castilian, and worse Biscayan: ‘Get thee gone, cavalier!
+go to the devil, I zay! vor, by the God that made her, if thou wilt not
+let the coach alone, che will kill thee dead, as zure as che was a
+Biscayan.’ The knight, understanding very well what he said, replied
+with great composure; ‘If thou wast a gentleman, as thou art not, I
+would chastise thy insolence and rashness, wretched creature.’—‘I not a
+gentleman!’ replied the Biscayan in great choler; ‘by God in heaven,
+thou lyest, as I am a Christian! if thou wilt throw away thy lance, and
+draw thy sword, che will soon zee which be the better man[43]. Biscayan
+by land, gentleman by zea, gentleman by devil; and thou liest, look ye,
+in thy throat, if thou zayest otherwise.’—‘Thou shalt see that
+presently, as Agragis said,’ replied Don Quixote; who, throwing his
+lance upon the ground, unsheathing his sword, and bracing on his target,
+attacked the Biscayan with full resolution to put him to death[44].
+
+His antagonist, who saw him approach, fain would have alighted from his
+mule, (which being one of the worst that ever was let out for hire,
+could not much be depended upon;) but he scarce had time to draw his
+sword; however, being luckily near the coach, he snatched out of it a
+cushion, which served him as a shield, and then they flew upon each
+other as two mortal enemies. The rest of the people who were present
+endeavoured, but in vain, to appease them; for the Biscayan swore, in
+his uncouth expressions, that if they did not leave him to fight the
+battle, he would certainly murder his mistress, and every body who
+should pretend to oppose it. The lady in the coach, surprized and
+frightened at what she saw, ordered the coachman to drive a little out
+of the road, to a place from whence she should see at a distance this
+rigorous engagement. In the course of which, the Biscayan bellowed such
+a huge stroke upon the shoulder of Don Quixote, that if it had not been
+for the defence of his buckler, he would have been cleft down to his
+girdle. The knight feeling the shock of such an unconscionable blow,
+exclaimed aloud, ‘O Dulcinea! lady of my soul, thou rose of beauty,
+succour thy knight, who, for the satisfaction of thy excessive goodness,
+is now involved in this dreadful emergency.’ To pronounce these words,
+to raise his sword, to secure himself with his target, and attack the
+Biscayan, was the work of one instant; for he was determined to risk his
+all upon a single stroke. His antagonist, who saw him advance, and by
+this time was convinced of his courage by his resolution, determined to
+follow his example; and covering himself with his cushion, waited his
+assault, without being able to turn his mule either on one side or the
+other; for she was already so jaded, and so little accustomed to such
+pastime, that she would not move one step out of the way.
+
+Don Quixote, then, as we have said, advanced against the cautious
+Biscayan, his sword lifted up with an intention to cleave him through
+the middle; the Biscayan waited his attack in the same posture, being
+shielded with his cushion. The frightened bye-standers stood aloof,
+intent upon the success of those mighty strokes that threatened each of
+the combatants; and the lady in the coach, with the rest of her
+attendants, put up a thousand prayers to Heaven, and vowed an offering
+to every image, and house of devotion in Spain, provided God would
+deliver the squire and them from the imminent danger in which they were:
+but the misfortune is, that in this very critical instant, the author of
+the history has left this battle in suspence, excusing himself, that he
+could find no other account of Don Quixote’s exploits, but what has
+already been related. True it is, that this second author of this work
+could not believe that such a curious history was consigned to oblivion;
+nor, that there could be such a scarcity of curious virtuosi in La
+Mancha, but that some papers relating to this famous knight should be
+found in their archives or cabinets: and therefore, possessed of this
+opinion, he did not despair of finding the conclusion of this delightful
+history, which indeed he very providentially lighted upon, in the manner
+which will be related in the second book.
+
+Footnote 42:
+
+ Here Don Quixote seems to have been too scrupulous: for though no
+ squire was permitted to engage with a knight on horseback, yet they
+ were allowed, and even enjoined, to assist their masters when they
+ were unhorsed or in danger, by mounting them on fresh steeds,
+ supplying them with arms, and warding off the blows that were aimed at
+ them; Davy Gam, at the battle of Agincourt, lost his life in defending
+ Henry V. of England, and Saint Severin met with the same fate in
+ warding off the blows that were aimed at Francis I. of France, in the
+ battle of Pavia.
+
+Footnote 43:
+
+ The literal meaning of the Spanish is, ‘Thou shalt soon see who is to
+ carry the cat to the water:’ or rather, in the corrupted Biscayan
+ phrase, ‘The water how soon thou wilt see, that thou carriest to the
+ cat.’
+
+Footnote 44:
+
+ The behaviour of Don Quixote was exactly conformable to the rules of
+ chivalry; which, though they hindered a knight from fighting in armour
+ with a squire, did not prevent him from giving satisfaction to an
+ inferior, at sword and target; and every squire who was aggrieved had
+ a right to demand it.
+
+
+
+
+ BOOK II.
+
+
+ CHAP. I.
+ THE CONCLUSION AND CONSEQUENCE OF THE STUPENDOUS COMBAT BETWEEN THE
+ GALLANT BISCAYAN, AND THE VALIANT KNIGHT OF LA MANCHA.
+
+
+In the first book of this history we left the valiant Biscayan and
+renowned Don Quixote with their gleaming swords brandished aloft, about
+to discharge two such furious strokes, as must (if they had cut sheer)
+have cleft them both asunder from top to toe, like a couple of
+pomegranates; and in this dubious and critical conjuncture, the
+delicious history abruptly breaks off, without our being informed by the
+author where or how that which is wanting may be found.
+
+I was not a little concerned at this disappointment; for the pleasure I
+enjoyed in the little I had read, was changed into disgust, when I
+reflected on the small prospect I had of finding the greater part of
+this relishing story, which in my opinion was lost: and yet it seemed
+impossible, and contrary to every laudable custom, that such an
+excellent knight should be unprovided with some sage to undertake the
+history of his unheard of exploits; a convenience which none of those
+knights-errant, who went in quest of adventures, ever wanted, each of
+them having been accommodated with one or two necromancers, on purpose
+to record not only his atchievements, but even his most hidden thoughts
+and amusements. Surely, then, such a compleat errant could not be so
+unlucky as to want that, which even Platil, and other such second-rate
+warriors, enjoyed.
+
+I could not therefore prevail upon myself to believe that such a
+spirited history was left so lame and unfinished, but laid the whole
+blame on the malignity of time, which wastes and devours all things, and
+by which, no doubt, this was either consumed or concealed: on the other
+hand, I considered, that as some books had been found in his library so
+modern as the Undeceptions of Jealousy, together with the Nymphs and
+Shepherds of Henares; his own history must also be of a modern date, and
+the circumstances, though not committed to writing, still fresh in the
+memory of his neighbours and townsmen. This consideration perplexed and
+inflamed me with the desire of knowing the true and genuine account of
+the life and wonderful exploits of our Spanish worthy Don Quixote de La
+Mancha, the sun and mirror of Manchegan chivalry; the first who, in this
+our age, and these degenerate times, undertook the toil and exercise of
+errantry and arms, to redress grievances, support the widow, and protect
+those damsels who stroll about with whip and palfrey, from hill to hill,
+and from dale to dale, on the strength of their virginity alone: for in
+times past, unless some libidinous clown with hatchet and morrion, or
+monstrous giant, forced her to his brutal wishes, a damsel might have
+lived fourscore years without ever lying under any other cover than that
+of heaven, and then gone to her grave as good a maiden as the mother
+that bore her. I say, therefore, that for these and many other
+considerations, our gallant Don Quixote merits incessant and immortal
+praise; and even I myself may claim some share, for my labour and
+diligence in finding the conclusion of this agreeable history; though I
+am well aware, that if I had not been favoured by fortune, chance, or
+Providence, the world would have been deprived of that pleasure and
+satisfaction which the attentive reader may enjoy for an hour or two, in
+perusing what follows: the manner of my finding it I will now recount.
+
+While I was walking one day on the exchange of Toledo, a boy coming up
+to a certain mercer, offered to sell him a bundle of old papers he had
+in his hand: now, as I have always a strong propensity to read even
+those scraps that sometimes fly about the streets, I was led by this my
+natural curiosity, to turn over some of the leaves; I found them written
+in Arabick, which not being able to read, though I knew the characters,
+I looked about for some Portuguese Moor who should understand it; and,
+indeed, though the language had been both more elegant and ancient, I
+might easily have found an interpreter. In short, I lighted upon one, to
+whom expressing my desire, and putting the pamphlet into his hands, he
+opened it in the middle, and after having read a few lines, began to
+laugh; when I asked the cause of his laughter, he said it was occasioned
+by a whimsical annotation in the margin of the book. I begged he would
+tell me what it was, and he answered, still laughing, ‘What I find
+written in the margin, is to this purpose: “this same Dulcinea, so often
+mentioned in the history, is said to have had the best hand at salting
+pork of any woman in La Mancha.”’
+
+Not a little surprized at hearing Dulcinea del Toboso mentioned, I
+immediately conjectured that the bundle actually contained the history
+of Don Quixote. Possessed with this notion, I bade him, with great
+eagerness, read the title-page, which having perused, he translated it
+extempore from Arabic to Spanish, in these words: ‘The History of Don
+Quixote de La Mancha, written by Cid Hamet Benengeli, an Arabian
+author.’ No small discretion was requisite to dissemble the satisfaction
+I felt, when my ears were saluted with the title of these papers, which,
+snatching from the master, I immediately bought in the lump for half a
+rial; though, if the owner had been cunning enough to discover my
+eagerness to possess them, he might have laid his account with getting
+twelve times the sum by the bargain.
+
+I then retired with my Moor through the cloisters of the cathedral, and
+desired him to translate all those papers that related to Don Quixote
+into the Castilian tongue, without addition or diminution, offering to
+pay any thing he should charge for his labour: his demand was limited to
+two quarters of raisins, and as many bushels of wheat, for which he
+promised to translate them with great care, conciseness, and fidelity:
+but I, the more to facilitate the business without parting with such a
+rich prize, conducted him to my own house, where, in little less than
+six weeks, he translated the whole, in the same manner as shall here be
+related.
+
+In the first sheet was painted to the life the battle betwixt Don
+Quixote and the Biscayan, who were represented in the same posture as
+the history has already described, their swords brandished aloft, one of
+the antagonists covered with his shield, the other with his cushion, and
+the Biscayan’s mule so naturally set forth, that you might have known
+her to have been an hireling, at the distance of a bow-shot. Under the
+feet of her rider was a label containing these words, ‘Don Sancho de
+Azpetia,’ which was doubtless his name; and beneath our knight was
+another, with the title of ‘Don Quixote.’ Rozinante was most wonderfully
+delineated, so long and raw-boned, so lank and meagre, so sharp in the
+back, and consumptive, that one might easily perceive, with what
+propriety and penetration the name of Rozinante had been bestowed upon
+him. Hard by the steed was Sancho Panza, holding his ass by the halter,
+at whose feet was a third label, inscribed ‘Sancho Zancas,’ who, in the
+picture, was represented as a person of a short stature, swag belly, and
+long spindle-shanks: for this reason he ought to be called
+indiscriminately by the names of Panza[45] and Zanchas; for by both
+these surnames is he sometimes mentioned in history.
+
+There were divers other minute circumstances to be observed, but all of
+them of small importance and concern to the truth of the history,
+though, indeed, nothing that is true can be impertinent: however, if any
+objection can be started to the truth of this, it can be no other, but
+that the author was an Arabian, of a nation but too much addicted to
+falshood, though, as they are at present our enemies, it may be
+supposed, that he has rather failed than exceeded in the representation
+of our hero’s exploits; for, in my opinion, when he had frequently
+opportunities and calls to exercise his pen in the praise of such an
+illustrious knight, he seems to be industriously silent on the subject;
+a circumstance very little to his commendation, for all historians ought
+to be punctual, candid, and dispassionate, that neither interest,
+rancour, fear, or affection, may mislead them from the road of Truth,
+whose mother is History, that rival of Time, that repository of great
+actions, witness of the past, example and pattern of the present, and
+oracle of future ages. In this, I know, will be found whatsoever can be
+expected in the most pleasant performance; and if any thing seems
+imperfect, I affirm it must be owing to the fault of the infidel its
+author, rather than to any failure of the subject itself: in short, the
+second book in the translation begins thus—
+
+The flaming swords of the two valiant and incensed combatants,
+brandished in the air, seemed to threaten heaven, earth, and hell, such
+was the rage and resolution of those that wielded them; but the first
+blow was discharged by the cholerick Biscayan, who struck with such
+force and fury, that if the blade had not turned by the way, that single
+stroke would have been sufficient to have put an end to this dreadful
+conflict, and all the other adventures of our knight; but his good
+genius, which preserved him for mightier things, turned the sword of his
+antagonist aside, so that though it fell upon his left shoulder, it did
+no other damage than disarm that whole side, slicing off in its passage,
+the greatest part of his helmet, with half of his ear, which fell to the
+ground with hideous ruin, leaving him in a very uncomfortable situation.
+Good Heavens! where is the man who can worthily express the rage and
+indignation which entered into the heart of our Manchegan, when he saw
+himself handled in this manner! I shall only say, his fury was such,
+that raising himself again in his stirrups, and grasping his sword with
+both hands, he discharged it so full upon the cushion and head of the
+Biscayan, which it but ill-defended, that, as if a mountain had fallen
+upon him, he began to spout blood from his nostrils, mouth, and ears,
+and seemed ready to fall from his mule, which would certainly have been
+the case, if he had not laid hold of the mane: yet notwithstanding this
+effort, his feet falling out of the stirrups, and his arms quitting
+their hold, the mule, which was frightened at the terrible stroke, began
+to run across the field, and after a few plunges came with her master to
+the ground. Don Quixote, who sat observing him with great tranquillity,
+no sooner perceived him fall, than leaping from his horse, he ran up to
+him with great agility, and setting the point of his sword to his
+throat, bade him surrender on pain of having his head cut off. The
+Biscayan was so confounded by the blow and fall he had sustained, that
+he could not answer one syllable; and as Don Quixote was blinded by his
+rage, he would have fared very ill, if the ladies of the coach, who had
+hitherto, in great consternation, been spectators of the battle, had not
+run to the place where he was, and requested, with the most fervent
+entreaties, that his worship would grant them the favour to spare the
+life of their squire.
+
+To this petition the knight replied, with great stateliness and gravity,
+‘Assuredly, most beautiful ladies, I am very ready to do what you
+desire, but it shall be upon condition and proviso, that this cavalier
+promise to go straight to Toboso, and present himself in my behalf,
+before the unparalleled Donna Dulcinea, that she may use him according
+to her good pleasure.’ The timorous and disconsolate ladies, without
+entering into the detail of what Don Quixote desired, or enquiring who
+this Dulcinea was, promised that the squire should obey the knight’s
+commands in every thing. ‘Upon the faith of your word, then,’ said Don
+Quixote, ‘I will do him no farther damage, though he has richly deserved
+it at my hand.’
+
+Footnote 45:
+
+ Panza, in Castilian, signifies Paunch; and Zancas, Spindle-shanks.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. II.
+ OF WHAT FARTHER HAPPENED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE AND THE BISCAYAN.
+
+
+All this time, Sancho Panza having got up, though very roughly handled
+by the lacquies of the friars, stood very attentively beholding the
+battle of his master Don Quixote, and put up ejaculatory petitions to
+heaven, that it would please to grant him the victory, and that he might
+gain by it some island, of which he himself might be made governor, in
+consequence of the knight’s promise. Seeing therefore the battle ended,
+and his master returning to mount Rozinante, he went to hold his
+stirrup, and before he got up, fell on his knees before him; then laying
+hold of his hand, and kissing it, pronounced with great fervency, ‘Sir
+Don Quixote, will your worship be pleased to bestow on me the government
+of that island which you have won in this dreadful combat; for let it be
+ever so great, I find I have strength enough to govern it, as well as
+any he who governs an island in this world.’ To this request Don Quixote
+replied, ‘You must know, Brother Sancho, that such as these are not
+adventures of islands, but frays that happen in bye-roads, in which
+there is nothing to be got but a broken head, with the loss of an ear;
+have a little patience, and we shall meet with adventures, which will
+enable me to make you not only a governor, but something more.’ Sancho
+made him many hearty acknowledgments for his promise, then kissing his
+hand again, and his coat of mail, helped him to mount Rozinante; and he
+himself getting upon his ass, followed his master, who set off at a
+round pace, and without bidding adieu, or speaking one syllable to those
+in the coach, entered a wood that was in the neighbourhood.
+
+Sancho followed him as hard as his beast would trot; but Rozinante
+exerted such speed, that seeing himself left behind, he was obliged to
+call to his master to wait for him. The knight complied with his
+request, and checked his horse, until he was overtaken by his weary
+squire; who, when he approached him, ‘Sir,’ said he, ‘methinks it would
+be the wisest course for us to retreat to some church; for as he with
+whom you fought remains but in a sorry condition, it is odds but they
+inform the holy brotherhood of the affair[46], and have us apprehended;
+and verily, if they do, before we get out of prison we may chance to
+sweat for it.’—‘Peace, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘where didst thou ever
+see or hear, that a knight-errant was brought to justice for the
+greatest homicides he had committed?’—‘I know nothing of your
+honey-seeds,’ answered Sancho, ‘nor in my life did I ever see one of
+them; this only I know, that the holy brotherhood commonly looks after
+those who quarrel and fight up and down the country; and as to the other
+affair, I have no business to intermeddle in it.’
+
+‘Set your heart at ease then, friend Sancho,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘for
+I will deliver you from the hands of the Philistines, much more from the
+clutches of the brotherhood; but tell me, on thy life, hast thou ever
+seen a more valiant knight than me in any country of the known world?
+Hast thou ever read in story of any other who possesses, or has
+possessed, more courage in attacking, more breath in persevering, more
+dexterity in wounding, and more agility in overthrowing his
+antagonist?’—‘The truth is,’ answered Sancho, ‘I never read a history
+since I was born; for indeed I can neither read nor write; but what I
+will make bold to wager upon is, that a more daring master than your
+worship I never served in the days of my life; and I wish to God, that
+your courage may not meet with that reward I have already mentioned.
+What I beg of your worship at present is, that you would allow me to
+dress that ear, which bleeds very much, for I have got some lint, and a
+little white ointment in my wallet.’—‘These would have been altogether
+needless,’ answered the knight, ‘if I had remembered to make a phial of
+the balsam of Fierabras, one single drop of which would save abundance
+of time and trouble.’—‘What sort of a phial and balsam is that?’ said
+Sancho Panza. ‘It is a balsam,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘the receipt of
+which I retain in my memory, and he that possesses the valuable
+composition needs be in no fear of death, nor think of perishing by any
+wound whatsoever: and therefore, when I shall have made it, and
+delivered it into thy keeping, thou hast no more to do when thou seest
+me in any combat cut through the middle, a circumstance that very often
+happens, but to snatch up that part of the body which falls to the
+ground, and before the blood shall congeal, set it upon the other half
+that remains in the saddle, taking care to join them with the utmost
+nicety and exactness; then making me swallow a couple of draughts of the
+aforesaid balsam, thou wilt see me in a twinkling, as whole and as sound
+as an apple.’
+
+‘If that be the case,’ said Sancho Panza, ‘I henceforth renounce the
+government of that island you promised me, and desire no other reward
+for my long and faithful service, but that your worship will give me the
+receipt of that same most exceeding liquor; for I imagine, that it will
+sell for two rials an ounce at least, and that will be sufficient to
+make me spend the rest of my days in credit and ease: but it will be
+necessary to know if the composition be costly.’—‘I can make a gallon of
+it for less than three rials,’ replied the knight. ‘Sinner that I am!’
+cried Sancho, ‘what hinders your worship from teaching me to make it
+this moment?’—‘Hold thy tongue, friend,’ said the knight. ‘I intend to
+teach thee greater secrets, and bestow upon thee more considerable
+rewards than that; but, in the mean time, let us dress my ear, which
+pains me more than I could wish.’
+
+The squire accordingly took out his lint and ointment: but when his
+master found that his helmet was quite demolished, he had almost run
+stark mad: he laid his hand upon his sword, and lifting up his hands to
+heaven, pronounced aloud, ‘I swear by the Creator of all things, and by
+all that is written in the four holy evangelists! to lead the life which
+the great Marquis of Mantua led, when he swore to revenge the death of
+his cousin Valdovinos; neither to eat food upon a table, nor enjoy his
+wife, with many other things, which, though I do not remember, I here
+consider as expressed, until I shall have taken full vengeance upon him
+who has done me this injury[47].’ Sancho hearing this invocation, ‘Sir
+Don Quixote,’ said he, ‘I hope your worship will consider, that if the
+knight shall accomplish what he was ordered to do, namely, to present
+himself before my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso, he will have done his duty,
+and certainly deserves no other punishment, unless he commits a new
+crime.’—‘Thou hast spoke very much to the purpose, and hit the nail on
+the head,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘therefore I annul my oath, so far as it
+regards my revenge, but I make and confirm it anew, to lead the life I
+have mentioned, until such time as I can take by force as good a helmet
+as this from some other knight; and thou must not think, Sancho, that I
+am now making a smoke of straw; for I know very well whom I imitate in
+this affair; the same thing having literally happened about the helmet
+of Mambrino, which cost Sacripante so dear.[48]’
+
+‘Sir, Sir,’ replied Sancho, with some heat, ‘I wish your worship would
+send to the devil all such oaths, which are so mischievous to the health
+and prejudicial to the conscience; for, tell me now, if we should not
+find in many days, a man armed with a helmet, what must we do? must we
+perform this vow, in spite of all the rubs and inconveniences in the
+way; such as to lie in one’s cloaths, and not to sleep in an inhabited
+place, with a thousand other penances contained in the oath of that old
+mad Marquis of Mantua, which your worship now wants to renew? Pray, Sir,
+consider that there are no armed people in these roads, none but
+carriers and carters, which far from wearing helmets themselves, perhaps
+never heard of any such thing during the whole course of their
+lives.’—‘There thou art egregiously mistaken,’ replied Don Quixote;
+‘for, before we are two hours in the cross-ways, we shall see armed men
+more numerous than those that came to Albraca, in order to win Angelica
+the fair.’—‘On then, and be it so,’ said Sancho, ‘and pray God we may
+succeed, and that the time may come when we shall gain that island which
+has cost me so dear, and then I care not how soon I die.’—‘I have
+already advised thee, Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘to give thyself no
+trouble about that affair; for, should we be disappointed in the
+expectation of an island, there is the kingdom of Denmark; or that of
+Sobrediza, which will suit thee as well as ever a ring fitted a finger,
+and ought to give thee more joy, because it is situated on Terra Firma;
+but let us leave these things to the determination of time, and see if
+thou hast got any thing in thy wallet; for we must go presently in quest
+of some castle, where we may procure a night’s lodging, and ingredients
+to make that same balsam I mentioned; for, I vow to God! my ear gives me
+infinite pain.’
+
+‘I have got here in my bags,’ said Sancho, ‘an onion, a slice of cheese,
+and a few crusts of bread; but these are eatables which do not suit the
+palate of such a valiant knight-errant as your worship.’—‘How little you
+understand of the matter!’ answered Don Quixote. ‘Thou must know,
+Sancho, that it is for the honour of knights-errant, to abstain whole
+months together from food, and when they do eat, to be contented with
+what is next at hand; this thou wouldst not have been ignorant of, hadst
+thou read so many histories as I have perused, in which, numerous as
+they are, I have never found any account of knights-errant eating,
+except occasionally, at some sumptuous banquet made on purpose for them;
+at other times, living upon air; and though it must be taken for
+granted, that they could not altogether live without eating, or
+complying with the other necessities of nature, being in effect men as
+we are; yet we are likewise to consider, that as the greatest part of
+their lives was spent in travelling through woods and desarts, without
+any cook or caterer, their ordinary diet was no other than such rustick
+food as thou hast now got for our present occasions[49]; therefore,
+friend Sancho, give thyself no uneasiness, because thou hast got nothing
+to gratify the palate, nor seek to unhinge or alter the constitution of
+things.’
+
+‘I beg your worship’s pardon,’ said Sancho, ‘for as I can neither read
+nor write, as I have already observed, I may have mistaken the rules of
+your knightly profession; but from henceforward I will store my budget
+with all sorts of dry fruits for your worship, who are a knight; and for
+myself, who am none, I will provide other more volatile and substantial
+food[50].’—‘I do not say, Sancho, that knights-errant are obliged to eat
+nothing except these fruits, but only that their most ordinary
+sustenance is composed of them and some certain herbs, which they know
+how to gather in the fields; a species of knowledge which I myself am no
+stranger to.’—‘Surely,’ answered Sancho, ‘it is a great comfort to know
+these same herbs; for it comes into my head, we shall one day or another
+have occasion to make use of the knowledge:’ and taking out the contents
+of his wallet, they eat together with great harmony and satisfaction;
+but, being desirous of finding some place for their night’s lodging,
+they finished their humble repast in a hurry, and mounting their beasts,
+put on at a good rate, in order to reach some village before it should
+be dark; but the hope of gratifying that desire failed them with
+day-light, just when they happened to be near a goatherd’s hut, in which
+they resolved to pass the night; and in the same proportion that Sancho
+was disgusted at not being able to reach some village, his master was
+rejoiced at an opportunity of sleeping under the cope of heaven, because
+he looked upon every occasion of this kind as an act of possession that
+strengthened the proof of his knight-errantry.
+
+Footnote 46:
+
+ Santa Hermandad was a brotherhood or society instituted in Spain in
+ times of confusion, to suppress robbery, and render travelling safe.
+
+Footnote 47:
+
+ These ridiculous oaths or vows are not confined to romances. Philip,
+ the good Duke of Burgundy, at a publick banquet, vowed to God, the
+ holy virgin, the peacock, and the ladies, that he would declare war
+ against the infidels; and a great number of persons who were present,
+ listed themselves under the same vow, and incurred voluntary penance
+ until it should be accomplished. Some swore they would never lie upon
+ a bed, others renounced the use of a table-cloth, a third set obliged
+ themselves to fast one particular day in the week, a fourth went
+ without one particular piece of armour, a fifth wore his armour night
+ and day, and many confined themselves to shirts of sackcloth and hair.
+
+Footnote 48:
+
+ Geoffroi de Rançon, having been injured by the Count de La Marche,
+ swore by the saints that he would wear his buskin like a woman, and
+ never suffer himself to be shaved in the manner of chivalry, until he
+ should be revenged. This oath he scrupulously observed, until he saw
+ his adversary, with his wife and children, kneeling in distress before
+ the king, and imploring his forgiveness; then he called for a stool,
+ adjusted his buskin, and was shaved in presence of his majesty and the
+ court.
+
+ The knight’s forehead was commonly shaved, that in case he should lose
+ his helmet in combat, his antagonist should have no hold by which he
+ might be pulled off his horse.
+
+Footnote 49:
+
+ We read in Perce Forest, that there were flat stones placed at certain
+ distances in uninhabited parts of the country, for the use of
+ knights-errant; who, having killed a roe-buck, pressed the blood out
+ of it upon one of these tables by the help of another smooth stone,
+ and then eat it with some salt and spices, which they carried along
+ with them for that purpose. This diet is called in the French
+ romances, _Chevraux de presse, nourreture des heraux_.
+
+Footnote 50:
+
+ Volatile, in the original, signifies any things that fly; and
+ therefore Sancho may be supposed to mean, he would provide himself
+ with game or poultry; but the blunder which we have made him commit
+ seems to be more in character.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. III.
+ OF WHAT HAPPENED TO DON QUIXOTE
+ WHILE HE REMAINED WITH THE GOATHERDS.
+
+
+He received a very hearty welcome from the goatherds; and Sancho having,
+as well as he could, accommodated Rozinante and his ass, was attracted
+by the odour that issued from some pieces of goat’s flesh that were
+boiling in a kettle; but though he longed very much at that instant to
+see if it was time to transfer them from the kettle to the belly, he
+checked his curiosity, because the landlord took them from the fire, and
+spreading some sheep-skins upon the ground, let out their rustick table
+without loss of time; inviting their two guests to a share of their
+mess, with many expressions of good-will and hospitality. Then those who
+belonged to the cot, being six in number, seated themselves round the
+skins, having first, with their boorish ceremony, desired Don Quixote to
+sit down on a trough, which they had overturned for that purpose.
+
+The knight accepted their offer, and Sancho remained standing, to
+administer the cup, which was made of horn; but his master perceiving
+him in this attitude, ‘That thou may’st see, Sancho,’ said he, ‘the
+benefit which is concentered in knight-errantry; and how near all those
+who exercise themselves in any sort of ministry belonging to it, are to
+preferment and esteem of the world, I desire thee to sit down here by my
+side, in company with these worthy people; and that thou may’st be on an
+equal footing with me, thy natural lord and master, eating in the same
+dish, and drinking out of the same cup that I use; for what is said of
+love may be observed of knight-errantry, that it puts all things upon a
+level.’
+
+‘I give you a thousand thanks,’ said Sancho; ‘but I must tell your
+worship that, provided I have plenty, I can eat as much, nay more to my
+satisfaction, standing on my legs, and in my own company, than if I was
+to sit by the side of an emperor; and, if all the truth must be told, I
+had much rather dine by myself in a corner, though it should be upon a
+bit of bread and an onion, without all your niceties and ceremonies,
+than eat turkey-cocks at another man’s table, where I am obliged to chew
+softly, to drink sparingly, to wipe my mouth every minute, to abstain
+from sneezing or coughing, though I should be never so much inclined to
+either, and from a great many other things, which I can freely do when
+alone; therefore, Sir master of mine, I hope these honours which your
+worship would put upon me, as being the servant and abettor of knight
+errantry, which to be sure I am, while I remain in quality of your
+squire, may be converted into other things of more ease and advantage to
+me, than those which, though I hold them as received in full, I renounce
+from henceforth for ever, amen.’—‘Thou must nevertheless sit thee down,’
+said his master; ‘for him that is humble, God will exalt;’ and, seizing
+him by the arm, he pulled him down to the seat on which he himself sat.
+
+The goatherds, who understood not a word of all this jargon of squire
+and knights-errant, did nothing but eat in silence, and gaze upon their
+guests; who, with keen appetite, and infinite relish, solaced their
+stomachs, by swallowing pieces as large as their fists. This service of
+meat being finished, they spread upon their skins great quantities of
+acorns, and half a cheese, harder than plaister of Paris: all this time
+the horn was not idle, but went round so fast, sometimes full, sometimes
+empty, like the buckets of a well, that they soon voided one of the two
+skins of wine that hung in view.
+
+Don Quixote having satisfied his appetite, took up an handful of the
+acorns, and after looking at them attentively, delivered himself to this
+purpose: ‘Happy age, and happy days were those, to which the ancients
+gave the name of golden; not that gold, which in these our iron times is
+so much esteemed, was to be acquired without trouble, in that fortunate
+period; but because people were then ignorant of those two words MINE
+and THINE: in that sacred age, all things were in common; no man was
+necessitated, in search of his daily food, to undergo any other trouble
+than that of reaching out his hand, and receiving it from the sturdy
+oak, that liberally invited him to pull his sweet and salutary fruit.
+The limpid fountains and murmuring rills afforded him their savoury and
+transparent waters in magnificent abundance. In clefts of rocks and
+hollow trees, the prudent and industrious bees formed their
+commonwealths, offering without interest to every hand the fruitful
+harvest of their delicious toil. The stately cork-trees voluntarily
+stripped themselves of their light extended bark, with which men began
+to cover their rural cottages, supported upon rustick poles, with a view
+only to defend themselves from the inclemencies of the weather. All was
+then peace, all was harmony, and all was friendship. As yet the
+ponderous coulter of the crooked plough had not presumed to open, or
+visit the pious entrails of our first mother, who, without compulsion,
+presented on every part of her wide and fertile bosom, every thing that
+could satisfy, sustain, and delight her sons, who then possessed her.
+Then did the simple and beautiful shepherdesses rove from hill to hill,
+and dale to dale, bare-headed, in their braided locks, without any other
+cloaths than what were necessary to cover modestly that which modesty
+commands, and always has commanded to be covered. Neither were their
+ornaments such as are used now-a-days, enhanced in value by the Tyrian
+purple, and the many-ways martyred silk, but composed of verdant
+dock-leaves, and ivy interwove together; with which they appeared,
+perhaps, with as great pomp and contrivance as the court ladies of our
+days, dressed in all the rare and foreign fashions which idle curiosity
+has invented. Then were the amorous dictates of the soul expressed in
+sensible simplicity, just as they were conceived, undisguised by the
+artificial cloak of specious words. There was no fraud, no deceit, no
+malice intermixed with plain dealing truth; justice then kept within her
+proper bounds, undisturbed and unbiased by interest and favour, which
+now impair, confound, and persecute, her so much; law was not then
+centered in the arbitrary bosom of the judge, for, at that time, there
+was neither cause nor contest. Damsels and decency, as I have already
+laid, went about single, and without fear of being injured by insolence
+or lust; and their ruin, when it happened, was the fruit of their own
+will and pleasure. But, now-a-days, in this detestable age, no maid is
+secure, though she was concealed and shut up in such another labyrinth
+as was that of Crete; for, even there, the amorous pestilence, with the
+zeal of mischievous importunity, would enter either by the help of
+wings, or by gliding through some chink or other, and all her
+barricadoed chastity would go to wreck. For the security of this virtue,
+in process of time, when mischief grew to a greater head, the order of
+knight-errantry was first instituted to defend damsels, protect widows,
+and succour the needy and the fatherless. This order, brother goatherds,
+I profess; and thank you for this kind entertainment and reception,
+which I and my squire have received at your hands; for though, by the
+law of nature, all mankind are obliged to favour and assist
+knights-errant, during the whole course of their lives; yet, as you have
+received and regaled me, before you knew yourselves to be under that
+obligation, I think it my duty to return my most sincere acknowledgment
+for your hospitality.’
+
+The whole of this tedious harangue, which might very well have been
+spared, was pronounced by our knight, because the acorns they presented
+recalled to his memory the golden age: therefore he took it in his head
+to make these useless reflections to the goatherds; who, without
+answering one syllable, listened with suspence and astonishment. Sancho
+was also silent, but kept his teeth employed upon the acorns, and paid
+many a visit to the second wine-bag; which, that the contents might be
+the cooler, was hung upon a cork-tree. Don Quixote was less tedious in
+his discourse than at his meal, which being ended, one of the goatherds
+said, ‘That your worship, knight-errant, may be convinced of our
+readiness and good-will to give you all the entertainment in our power,
+you shall have the pleasure and satisfaction of hearing a song from one
+of our companions, who will soon be here. He is an understanding young
+fellow, very much in love, who, moreover, can read and write, and play
+upon the rebeck[51], that it will delight you to hear him.’ Scarce had
+the goatherd pronounced these words, when their ears were saluted with a
+sound of this instrument; and presently after appeared the musician, who
+was a young fellow of about twenty, or twenty two years of age, and of a
+very graceful appearance. His companions asked him if he had supped, and
+he answering in the affirmative, one of them, who made the offer to the
+knight, said to him, ‘If that be the case, Antonio, you will do us the
+pleasure to sing a song, that this gentleman, our guest, may see there
+are some, even among these woods and mountains, who understand musick.
+We have already informed him of thy uncommon talents, and we desire thou
+wouldst shew them, in order to justify what we have said in thy praise;
+I therefore earnestly beseech thee to sit down and sing the ballad of
+thy love, composed by thy uncle the curate, which is so much commended
+in our village.’—‘With all my heart,’ replied the young man; who,
+without farther entreaty, sat down upon the trunk of an ancient oak, and
+tuning his instrument, began in a very graceful manner to sing and
+accompany the following song.
+
+
+ I.
+
+ You love, Olalla, nay, adore me;
+ In spite of all your art I know it,
+ Although you never smile before me,
+ And neither tongue nor eyes avow it.
+
+ II.
+
+ For, sure to slight a lover’s passion
+ So try’d as that which lives this heart in,
+ Were but small proof of penetration;
+ And that you are no fool is certain.
+
+ III.
+
+ Sometimes, indeed, and ’tis amazing,
+ Tho’ prov’d by evidence of twenty,
+ You’ve plainly shewn your soul was brazen,
+ And eke your snowy bosom flinty.
+
+ IV.
+
+ Yet in the midst of maiden shyness,
+ Affected scorn and decent scolding,
+ Kind Hope appear’d with proffer’d spy-glass,
+ The border of her robe unfolding.
+
+ V.
+
+ Then balance in the scales of reason,
+ My love unshaken and untainted,
+ Unapt to change from truth to treason,
+ By frowns impair’d, by smiles augmented.
+
+ VI.
+
+ If love be courtesy refin’d,
+ And you be civil to profusion,
+ That you will to my hopes prove kind,
+ Is but a natural conclusion.
+
+ VII.
+
+ If gratitude that breast can soften,
+ Which bids to other arts defiance,
+ The services I’ve render’d often,
+ Must melt your soul to kind compliance.
+
+ VIII.
+
+ For, more than once, had you attended,
+ You might have seen me wear on Monday,
+ My best apparel scower’d and mended,
+ With which I wont to honour Sunday.
+
+ IX.
+
+ As love delights in finery,
+ And women oft are won by tightness,
+ I’ve still endeavour’d in your eye,
+ To shine the mirror of politeness.
+
+ X.
+
+ That I have danc’d the swains among,
+ To please your pride, what need I mention;
+ Or with the cock begun my song,
+ To wake my sleeping fair’s attention!
+
+ XI.
+
+ Or that, enamour’d of your beauty,
+ I’ve loudly sounded forth its praises;
+ A talk which, tho’ a lover’s duty,
+ The spite of other women raises!
+
+ XII.
+
+ For, once, Teresa of the hill,
+ Beneath all notice would have sunk ye,
+ ‘You think Olalla angel still,’
+ Said she, ‘but others scorn the monkey.’
+
+ XIII.
+
+ ‘Thanks to her beads of glittering glass,
+ ‘And her false locks in ringlets curling,
+ ‘And the false colour of her face,
+ ‘Which Love himself might take for sterling.’
+
+ XIV.
+
+ She ly’d, I told her in her throat;
+ And when her kinsman kept a racket,
+ You know I made him change his note,
+ And soundly thresh’d the booby’s jacket.
+
+ XV.
+
+ Your lovely person, not your wealth,
+ At first engag’d my inclination;
+ Nor would I now possess by stealth,
+ The guilty joys of fornication.
+
+ XVI.
+
+ The church has silken ties in store,
+ Then yield thy neck to Hymen’s fetters;
+ Behold, I put my own before,
+ And trust the noose that binds our betters.
+
+ XVII.
+
+ Else, by each blessed saint I swear,
+ And Heav’n forbid I prove a liar!
+ Never to quit this desart drear,
+ Except in form of hooded friar[52].
+
+Thus ended the goatherd’s ditty; and though Don Quixote desired him to
+sing another, yet Sancho Panza would by no means give his consent, being
+more inclined to take his natural rest than to hear ballads; and
+therefore, he said to his master, ‘Your worship had better consider
+where you are to lodge this night; for the labour that these honest men
+undergo in the day, will not suffer them to pass the night in
+singing.’—‘I understand thee, Sancho,’ replied the knight, ‘it plainly
+appears that the visits thou hast made to the wine-bag, demand the
+consolation of sleep, rather than that of musick.’—‘They agreed with us
+all very well, blessed be God!’ replied Sancho. ‘I do not deny it,’ said
+the knight; ‘and thou mayest bestow thyself in the best manner thou
+canst; but it is more seemly for those of my profession to watch than to
+sleep: it would not be amiss, however, Sancho, to dress my ear again;
+for it gives me more pain than I could wish.’ Sancho did as he desired:
+when one of the goatherds perceiving the wound, bade him give himself no
+trouble about it, for he would apply a remedy that would heal it in a
+trice: so saying, he took some leaves of rosemary, which grew in great
+plenty round the hut, and having chewed and mixed them with a little
+salt, applied the poultice to his ear; and binding it up carefully,
+assured him, as it actually happened, that it would need no other
+plaister.
+
+Footnote 51:
+
+ A sort of small fiddle of one piece, with three strings, used by
+ shepherds.
+
+Footnote 52:
+
+ The reader will perceive that I have endeavoured to adapt the
+ versification to the plainness and rusticity of the sentiment, which
+ are preserved through the whole of this ballad; though all the other
+ translators seem to have been bent upon setting the poetry at variance
+ with the pastoral simplicity of the thoughts. For example, who would
+ ever dream of a goatherd’s addressing his mistress in these terms?
+
+ ‘With rapture on each charm I dwell,
+ ‘And daily spread thy beauty’s fame;
+ ‘And still my tongue thy praise shall tell,
+ ‘Though envy swell, or malice blame.’
+
+ The original sentiments which this courtly stanza is designed to
+ translate, are literally these:
+
+ ‘I do not mention the praises I have spoke of your beauty, which,
+ though true in fact, are the occasion of my being hated by some other
+ women.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IV.
+ WHAT WAS RELATED BY A GOATHERD, WHO CHANCED TO COME INTO THE HUT.
+
+
+In the mean time, another of the lads, who brought them victuals from
+the village, entering the hut, said, ‘Do you know what has happened in
+our town, comrades?’ When one of them answered, ‘How should we!’ ‘Know,
+then,’ continued he, ‘that the famous student Chrysostom died this
+morning; and it is murmured about, that his death was occasioned by his
+love for that devilish girl Marcella, daughter of William the rich. She
+that roves about these plains in the habit of a shepherdess.’—‘For
+Marcella, said you!’ cried one. ‘The same,’ answered the goatherd; ‘and
+it is certain, that in his last will he ordered himself to be buried in
+the field like a Moor (God bless us!) at the foot of the rock, hard by
+the cork-tree spring; for, the report goes, and they say he said so
+himself, as how the first time he saw her was in that place; and he has
+also ordained many other such things as the clergy say must not be
+accomplished; nor is it right they should be accomplished; for, truly,
+they seem quite heathenish: to all which objections his dear friend,
+Ambrosio the student, who also dressed himself like a shepherd, to keep
+him company, replies, that he will perform every thing, without fail,
+that Chrysostom has ordered; and the whole village is in an uproar about
+it: but it is believed that every thing, at last, will be done according
+to the desire of Ambrosio, and all the rest of the shepherds, his
+friends; and that to-morrow he will be interred with great pomp in the
+very spot I have mentioned. I am resolved, therefore, as it will be a
+thing well worth seeing, to go thither without fail, even though I
+thought I should not be able to return to the village that night.’—‘We
+will do so too,’ replied the goatherds, ‘and cast lots to see which of
+us must stay and take care of our flocks.’—‘You are in the right,
+Pedro,’ said one; ‘but there will be no occasion to use that shift, for
+I myself will stay and take care of the whole; and you must not impute
+my tarrying to virtue, or the want of curiosity, but to the plaguy thorn
+that ran into my foot the other day, and hinders me from walking.’—‘We
+are obliged to thee, however,’ answered Pedro; whom Don Quixote desired
+to tell him who that same dead shepherd and living shepherdess were.
+
+To this question the goatherd replied, all that he knew of the matter
+was, that the deceased was the son of a rich farmer, who lived in the
+neighbourhood of a village in these mountains; that he had studied in
+Salamanca many years, at the end of which he had returned to his family
+with the character of a great scholar: in particular, they said he was
+very knowing in the science of the stars, and what passed betwixt the
+sun and moon, and the heavens; for he had punctually foretold the clipse
+of them both! ‘The obscuration of those two great luminaries,’ said the
+knight, ‘is called the eclipse, and not the clipse, friend.’ But Pedro,
+without troubling his head with these trifles, proceeded, saying, ‘he
+likewise foresaw when the year would be plentiful or staril.’—‘You mean,
+sterile,’ said Don Quixote. ‘Sterile, or staril,’ replied Pedro, ‘comes
+all to the same purpose; and I say, that his father and his friends,
+taking his advice, became very rich: for they gave credit to his words,
+and followed his counsel in all things. When he would say, this year you
+must sow barley, and no wheat; here you must sow carabances, but no
+barley; next year there will be a good harvest of oil; but for three
+years to come there will not be a drop.’—‘That science,’ replied Don
+Quixote, ‘is called astrology.’—‘I know not how it is called,’ replied
+Pedro; ‘but this I know, that he knew all this, and much more. In short,
+not many months after he came from Salamanca, he appeared all of a
+sudden in shepherd-weeds, with his woolly jacket, and a flock of sheep,
+having laid aside the long dress of a student. And he was accompanied by
+a friend of his in the same habit, whose name was Ambrosio, and who had
+been his fellow student at college. I forgot to tell you that Chrysostom
+the defunct was such a great man at composing couplets, that he made
+carols for Christmas eve, and plays for the Lord’s-day, which were
+represented by the young men in our village; and every body said, that
+they were tip-top. When the people of the village saw the two scholars
+so suddenly cloathed like shepherds, they were surprized, and could not
+guess their reason for such an odd change. About that time the father of
+this Chrysostom dying, he inherited great riches, that were in moveables
+and in lands, with no small number of sheep, more or less, and a great
+deal of money: of all which this young man remained desolate lord and
+master: and truly he deserved it all; for he was an excellent companion,
+very charitable, a great friend to good folks, and had a most blessed
+countenance. Afterwards it came to be known, that his reason for
+changing his garb, was no other than with a view of strolling through
+the woods and desarts after that same shepherdess Marcella, whose name
+my friend mentioned just now, and with whom the poor defunct Chrysostom
+was woundily in love: and I will now tell you, for it is necessary that
+you should know who this wench is; for, mayhap, nay even without a
+mayhap, you never heard of such a thing in all the days of your life,
+though you be older than St. Paul[53].’—‘Say, Paul’s,’ replied Don
+Quixote, offended at the goatherd’s perverting the words. ‘Saint Paul
+was no chicken,’ replied Pedro; ‘and if your worship be resolved to
+correct my words every moment, we shall not have done in a
+twelvemonth.’—‘I ask your pardon friend,’ said the knight; ‘I only
+mention this, because there is a wide difference between the person of
+St. Paul, and a church that goes by his name: but, however, you made a
+very sensible reply; for, to be sure, the saint lived long before the
+church was built: therefore go on with your story, and I promise not to
+interrupt you again.’
+
+‘Well, then, my good master,’ said the goatherd, ‘there lived in our
+village a farmer, still richer than Chrysostom’s father; his name was
+William, and God gave him, over and above great wealth, a daughter, who
+at her birth was the death of her mother, the most worthy dame in all
+the country. Methinks I see her now with that face of her’s, which
+seemed to have the sun on one side, and the moon on the other; she was
+an excellent housewife, and a great friend to the poor, for which reason
+I believe her soul is enjoying the presence of God in paradise. Her
+husband died of grief for the loss of so good a wife, leaving his
+daughter Marcella, young and rich, to the care of an uncle, who has got
+a living in our village. The girl grew up with so much beauty, that she
+put us in mind of her mother, who had a great share, and yet it was
+thought it would be surpassed by the daughter’s. It happened
+accordingly; for when she came to the age of fourteen or fifteen, nobody
+could behold her without blessing God, for having made so beautiful a
+creature; and every body almost grew desperately in love with her. Her
+uncle kept her up with great care; but, for all that, the fame of her
+exceeding beauty spread in such a manner, that both for her person and
+her fortune, not only the richest people in our town, but likewise in
+many leagues about, came to ask her in marriage of her uncle, with much
+importunity and felicitation. But he, who, to give him his due, was a
+good christian, although he wanted to dispose of her as soon as she came
+to the age fit for matrimony, would not give her away without her own
+consent; neither had he a view in deferring her marriage, to the gain
+and advantage which he might enjoy in managing the girl’s fortune. And
+truly I have heard this spoken in more companies than one, very much to
+the praise of the honest priest. For I would have you know, Sir
+traveller, that in these small towns people intermeddle and grumble
+about every thing. And this you may take for certain, as I know it to be
+so, that a clergyman must be excessively good indeed, if he can oblige
+his flock to speak well of him, especially in country villages.’—‘You
+are certainly in the right,’ said Don Quixote; ‘and pray go on, for your
+story is very entertaining; and you, honest Pedro, relate it with a good
+grace.’—‘May I never want God’s grace!’ said the shepherd; ‘for that is
+the main chance; and you must know, moreover, that though the uncle
+proposed to his niece, and described the good qualities of each in
+particular who asked her in marriage, desiring her to give her hand to
+some one or other, and chuse for herself; she never would give him any
+other answer, but that she did not chuse to marry, for she was too young
+to bear the burden of matrimony. On account of these excuses, which
+seemed to have some reason in them, her uncle forbore to importune her,
+and waited till she should have more years and discernment to make
+choice of her own company; for he said, and to be sure it was well said,
+that parents should never dispose of their children against their own
+inclinations. But behold, when we least thought of it, the timorous
+Marcella one day appeared in the habit of a shepherdess; and without
+imparting her design to her uncle, or any body in the village, for fear
+they might have dissuaded her from it, she took to the field with her
+own flock, in company of the other damsels of the village. As she now
+appeared in publick, and her beauty was exposed to the eyes of every
+body, you cannot conceive what a number of rich youths, gentlemen and
+farmers, immediately took the garb of Chrysostom, and went wooing her
+through the fields. One of these suitors, as you have heard, was the
+deceased, who, they say, left off loving to adore her; and you must not
+think, that because Marcella took to this free and unconfined way of
+living, she brought the least disparagement upon her chastity and good
+name; on the contrary, such is the vigilance with which she guards her
+honour, that of all those who serve and solicit her, not one has
+boasted, nor indeed can boast with any truth, that she has given him the
+smallest hope of accomplishing his desire; for though she neither flies,
+or avoids the company and conversation of the shepherds, but treats them
+in a courteous and friendly manner, whenever any one of them comes to
+disclose his intention, let it be ever so just and holy, even marriage
+itself, she throws him from her like a stone from a sling; and being of
+this disposition, does more damage in this country, than if a pestilence
+had seized it; for her affability and beauty allures all the hearts of
+those that converse with her to serve and love her, but her coyness and
+plain dealing drives them even to the borders of despair; therefore they
+know not what to say, but upbraid her with cruelty and ingratitude, and
+give her a great many such titles, as plainly shew the nature of her
+disposition: and if your worship was but to stay here one day, you would
+hear these hills and dales resound with the lamentations of her rejected
+followers. Not far from this place there is a tuft of about a dozen of
+tall beeches, upon every one of which you may read engraved the name of
+Marcella, and over some a crown cut out in the bark, as if her lover
+would have declared, that Marcella wears, and deserves to wear, the
+crown of all earthly beauty. Here one shepherd sighs, there another
+complains; in one place you may hear amorous ditties, in another the
+dirges of despair; one lover sits musing through all the hours of the
+night, at the foot of some tall ash or rugged rock, and there, without
+having closed his weeping eyes, shrunk up as it were, and intranced in
+his own reflections, he is found by the rising sun; a second, without
+giving respite or truce to his sighs, exposed to the heat of the most
+sultry summer’s sun, lies stretched upon the burning sand, breathing his
+complaints to pitying Heaven, and over this and that, and these and
+those, the free, the unconcerned, the fair Marcella triumphs. We who are
+acquainted with her disposition, wait with impatience to see the end of
+all this disdain, and long to know what happy man will tame such an
+unsociable humour, and enjoy such exceeding beauty. As every thing that
+I have recounted is true to a tittle, I have no reason to doubt the
+truth of what our comrades said concerning the cause of Chrysostom’s
+death; and therefore I advise you, Sir, not to fail being to-morrow at
+his burial, which will be well worth seeing; for Chrysostom had a great
+many friends, and the spot in which he ordered himself to be buried is
+not more than half a league from hence.’
+
+‘I will take care to be present,’ said the knight, ‘and thank you
+heartily for the pleasure you have given me in relating such an
+interesting story.’—‘Oh! as for that,’ cried the goatherd, ‘I do not
+know one half of what has happened to the lovers of Marcella: but
+to-morrow, perhaps, we may light upon some shepherd on the road, who is
+better acquainted with them. In the mean time you will do well to go to
+sleep under some cover, for the cold night air may not agree with the
+hurt your jaws have received, though the remedy I have applied is such,
+that you have nothing else to fear.’
+
+Sancho Panza, who wished the goatherd’s loquacity at the devil,
+earnestly intreated his master to go to sleep in Pedro’s hut. This
+request the knight complied with, and spent the greatest part of the
+night in thinking of his Lady Dulcinea, in imitation of Marcella’s
+lovers; while Sancho Panza, taking up his lodging betwixt Rozinante and
+his ass, slept soundly, not like a discarded lover, but like one who had
+been battered and bruised the day before.
+
+Footnote 53:
+
+ In the original Spanish, the goatherd, instead of saying as old as
+ Sarah, says, as old as Sarna, which in that language signifies the
+ itch; but as it is impossible to preserve these mistakes in the
+ translation, I have substituted another in its room, which I apprehend
+ is equally natural and expressive.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. V.
+ THE CONCLUSION OF THE STORY OF THE SHEPHERDESS MARCELLA, AND OTHER
+ INCIDENTS.
+
+
+Scarce had Aurora disclosed herself through the balconies of the east,
+when five of the six goatherds arising, went to waken Don Quixote, and
+told him, that if he continued in his resolution of going to see the
+famous funeral of Chrysostom, they would keep him company. The knight,
+who desired nothing better, arose, and commanded Sancho to saddle his
+horse and pannel his ass immediately. This order was executed with great
+dispatch, and they set out without loss of time. They had not travelled
+more than a quarter of a league, when, upon crossing a path, they saw
+coming towards them six shepherds, cloathed in jackets of black
+sheep-skin, and crowned with garlands of cypress and bitter-bay, each
+having a club of holly in his hand. Along with them came also two
+gentlemen on horseback, very well equipped for travel, accompanied by
+three young men on foot.
+
+When they advanced they saluted one another, and understanding, upon
+inquiry, that they were all bound to the place of interment, they joined
+company, and travelled together. One of the horsemen said to his
+companion, ‘Signior Vivaldo, we shall not have reason to grudge our
+tarrying to see this famous funeral, which must certainly be very
+extraordinary, by the strange account we have received from these
+people, of the dead shepherd, and the murderous shepherdess.’—‘I am of
+the same opinion,’ answered Vivaldo; ‘and would not only tarry one day,
+but even four or five, on purpose to see it.’ Don Quixote asking what
+they had heard of Marcella and Chrysostom, the traveller replied, that
+early in the morning they had met with these shepherds, of whom
+inquiring the cause of their being cloathed in such melancholy weeds,
+they had been informed of the coyness and beauty of a certain
+shepherdess called Marcella, and the hapless love of many who courted
+her, together with the death of that same Chrysostom to whose funeral
+they were going. In short, he recounted every circumstance of what Pedro
+had told Don Quixote before.
+
+This conversation being ended, another began by Vivaldo’s asking Don
+Quixote why he travelled thus in armour in a peaceable country. To this
+question the knight replied, ‘The exercise of my profession will not
+permit or allow me to go in any other manner. Revels, feasting, and
+repose, were invented by effeminate courtiers; but toil, anxiety, and
+arms, are peculiar to those whom the world calls knights-errant, of
+which order I, though unworthy, and the least, am one.’ He had no sooner
+pronounced these words, than all present took him for a madman; but, in
+order to confirm their opinion, and discover what kind of madness it
+was, Vivaldo desired to know what he meant by knights-errant. ‘What!’
+said Don Quixote, ‘have you never read the annals and history of
+England, which treat of the famous exploits of Arthur, who, at present,
+in our Castilian language, is called King Artus, and of whom there is an
+ancient tradition, generally believed all over Great Britain, that he
+did not die, but was, by the art of inchantment, metamorphosed into a
+raven; and that the time will come when he shall return, and recover his
+sceptre and throne; for which reason it cannot be proved, that from that
+period to this, any Englishman has killed a raven. In the reign of that
+excellent king was instituted that famous order of chivalry, called the
+Knights of the Round Table; and those amours punctually happened, which
+are recounted of Don Lancelot of the Lake, with Queen Ginebra, by the
+help and mediation of that sage and venerable duenna Quitaniona, from
+whence that delightful ballad, so much sung in Spain, took its rise:
+
+ ‘For never, sure, was any knight
+ ‘So serv’d by damsel, or by dame,
+ ‘As Lancelot, that man of might,
+ ‘When he at first from Britain came.’
+
+‘With the rest of that most relishing and delicious account of his
+amours and valiant exploits. From that time the order of knight-errantry
+was extended, as it were, from hand to hand, and spread through divers
+and sundry parts of the world, producing, among many other worthies
+celebrated for their atchievements, the valiant Amadis de Gaul, with all
+his sons and nephews, even to the fifth generation; the courageous
+Fleximarte of Hicarnia, the never-enough to be commended Tirante the
+White, and he whom, in this our age, we have as it were seen, heard, and
+conversed with, the invincible and valorous knight Don Belianis of
+Greece. This, gentlemen, is what I meant by knight-errant; and such as I
+have described is the order of chivalry, which, as I have already told
+you, I, though a sinner, have professed; and the very same which those
+knights I mentioned professed, I profess also. On which account I am
+found in these desarts and solitudes, in quest of adventures, fully
+determined to lift my arm, and expose my person, to the greatest danger
+that my destiny shall decree, in behalf of the needy and oppressed.’
+
+By this declaration, the travellers were convinced that the knight had
+lost his wits, and easily perceived the species of folly which had taken
+possession of his brain, and which struck them with the same surprise
+that always seized those who became acquainted with our knight. Vivaldo,
+who was a person of discretion and a great deal of archness, in order to
+travel agreeably the rest of the road which they had to go till they
+should come to the place of interment, wanted to give him an opportunity
+of proceeding in his extravagance, and in that view said to him: ‘Sir
+knight-errant, methinks your worship professes one of the strictest
+orders upon earth; nay, I will affirm, more strict than that of the
+Carthusian friars.’
+
+‘The order of the Carthusians,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘may be as strict,
+but, that it is as beneficial to mankind, I am within a hair’s breadth
+of doubting; for, to be plain with you, the soldier who executes his
+captain’s command, is no less valuable than the captain who gave the
+order. I mean, that the monks pray to God for their fellow-creatures in
+peace and safety; but we soldiers and knights put in execution that for
+which they pray, by the valour of our arms, and the edge of our swords;
+living under no other cover than the cope of heaven; set up in a manner
+as marks for the intolerable heat of the sun in summer, and the chilly
+breath of frosty winter; we are therefore God’s ministers, and the arms
+by which he executes his justice upon earth; and as the circumstances of
+war, and what has the least affinity and concern with it, cannot be
+accomplished without sweat, anxiety, and fatigue; it follows, that those
+who profess it, are doubtless more subject to toil, than those who in
+rest and security implore the favour of God for persons who can do
+nothing for themselves; not that I would be thought to say or imagine,
+the condition of a knight-errant is equal to that of a recluse monk; I
+would only infer from what we suffer, that it is without doubt more
+troublesome, more battered, more famished, more miserable, ragged, and
+lousy; for the knights-errant of past times certainly underwent
+numberless misfortunes in the course of their lives. And if some of them
+came to be emperors by the valour of their arms, considering the blood
+and sweat it cost them, in faith it was a dear purchase; and if those
+who attained such a supreme station, had been without their sage
+inchanters to assist them, they might have been defrauded by their
+desires, and grievously baulked of their expectations.’
+
+‘I am very much of your opinion,’ answered the traveller; ‘but there is
+one thing among you knights-errant, that I cannot approve of, and that
+is, when any great and dangerous adventure occurs, in which you run a
+manifest risk of losing your lives, in the instant of an engagement, you
+never think of recommending your souls to God, as every Christian ought
+to do on such occasions; but, on the contrary, put up your petitions to
+your mistresses, with as much fervour and devotion as if they were your
+deities; a circumstance which, in my opinion, smells strong of
+paganism.’—‘Sir,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘that practice must in no degree
+be altered; and woe be to that knight-errant who should do otherwise;
+for, according to the practice and custom of chivalry, every knight,
+when he is upon the point of atchieving some great feat, must call up
+the idea of his mistress, and turning his eyes upon her with all the
+gentleness of love, implore, as it were, by his looks, her favour and
+protection in the doubtful dilemma in which he is about to involve
+himself: nay, even though nobody should hear him, he is obliged to
+mutter between his teeth an ejaculation, by which he heartily and
+confidently recommends himself to her good wishes: and of this practice
+we have innumerable examples in history; but I would not have you think,
+that we are to forbear recommending ourselves to God also; there will be
+time and opportunity enough for that duty in the course of action.’
+
+‘But, nevertheless,’ said the traveller, ‘I have still one scruple
+remaining; which is, that I have often read of a dispute between two
+knights, which proceeding to rage from one word to another, they have
+turned about their steeds, to gain ground for a good career; and then,
+without any more ceremony, returned to the encounter at full gallop,
+recommending themselves to their mistresses by the way; and the common
+issue of such an engagement is, that one of them is thrown down by his
+horse’s crupper, stuck through and through with his adversary’s lance,
+while the other, with difficulty, avoids a fall by laying hold of his
+horse’s mane: now, I cannot comprehend how the dead man could have time
+to recommend himself to God, in the course of so sudden an attack;
+surely it would have been better for his soul, if, instead of the words
+he uttered in his career, he had put up a petition to Heaven, according
+to the duty and obligation of every Christian; especially, as I take it
+for granted that every knight-errant has not a mistress; for all of them
+cannot be in love.’—‘That’s impossible,’ answered Don Quixote. ‘I
+affirm, that there never could be a knight-errant without a mistress;
+for to be in love is as natural and peculiar to them, as the stars are
+to the heavens. I am very certain that you never read an history that
+gives an account of a knight-errant without an amour; for he that has
+never been in love, would not be held as a legitimate member, but some
+adulterate brood, who had got into the fortress of chivalry, not through
+the gate, but over the walls, like a thief in the night.’
+
+‘Yet, notwithstanding,’ said the traveller, ‘I have read that Don
+Galaor, brother of the valiant Amadis de Gaul, never had any known
+mistress to whom he could recommend himself; and he was not disregarded,
+but looked upon as a very valiant and famous knight.’—‘Signior,’
+answered our hero, Don Quixote, ‘one swallow makes not a summer;
+besides, to my certain knowledge, that knight was privately very much in
+love; indeed, he made love to every handsome woman who came in his way;
+for that was his natural disposition, which he by no means could resist:
+in short, it is very well attested, that he had one mistress, whom he
+enthroned as sovereign of his heart, and to whom he recommended himself
+with great caution and privacy, because he piqued himself upon being a
+secret knight.’
+
+‘Since, then, it is essential to every knight to be in love, we may
+conclude that your worship, being of that profession, is no stranger to
+that passion: and if you do not value yourself upon being as secret a
+knight as Don Galaor, I earnestly entreat you, in behalf of myself, and
+the rest of the company, to tell us the name, country, station, and
+qualities of your mistress; who must think herself extremely happy in
+reflecting, that all the world knows how much she is beloved and adored
+by so valiant a knight as your worship appears to be.’
+
+Here Don Quixote uttered a grievous sigh, saying, ‘I am not positively
+certain, whether or not that beauteous enemy of mine takes pleasure in
+the world’s knowing I am her slave; this only I can say, in answer to
+the question you asked with so much civility, that her name is Dulcinea;
+her native country, a certain part of La Mancha called Toboso; her
+station must at least be that of a princess, since she is queen and lady
+of my soul; her beauty supernatural, in that it justifies all those
+impossible and chimerical attributes of excellence, which the poets
+bestow upon their nymphs; her hair is of gold, her forehead the Elysian
+Fields, her eye-brows heavenly arches, her eyes themselves suns, her
+cheeks roses, her lips of coral, her teeth of pearl, her neck alabaster,
+her breast marble, her hands ivory, her skin whiter than snow; and those
+parts which decency conceals from human view are such, according my
+belief and apprehension, as discretion ought to enhance above all
+comparison.’
+
+‘I wish we knew her lineage, race, and family,’ replied Vivaldo. To this
+hint the knight answered, ‘She is not descended of the ancient Caii,
+Curtii, and Scipios of Rome, nor of the modern Colonas and Orsini, nor
+of the Moncades and Requesenes of Catalonia, much less of the Rebellas
+and Villanovas of Valencia; or the Palafaxes, Newcas, Rocabertis,
+Corellas, Lunas, Alagones, Urreas, Fozes and Gurreas of Arragon; or the
+Cerdas, Manriquez, Mendozas and Gusmans of Castile; or the Alencastros,
+Pallas and Menesis of Portugal: but she sprung from the family of Tobosa
+de La Mancha: a lineage which, though modern, may give a noble rise to
+the most illustrious families of future ages; and let no man contradict
+what I say, except upon the conditions expressed in that inscription
+placed by Cerbino under the trophy of Orlando’s arms!
+
+ ‘“That knight alone these arms shall move,
+ ”Who dares Orlando’s prowess prove[54].”
+
+‘Although I myself am descended from the Cachopines of Loredo[55],’ said
+the traveller, ‘I won’t presume to compare with that of Toboso de La
+Mancha; though, to be plain with you, I never before heard of any such
+generation.’—‘How, not heard!’ replied Don Quixote. The rest of the
+company jogged on, listening with great attention to this discourse, and
+all of them, even the goatherds, by this time were convinced, that our
+knight’s judgment was grievously impaired. Sancho alone believed that
+every thing his master said was true, because he knew his family, and
+had been acquainted with himself from his cradle. The only doubt that he
+entertained was of this same beautiful Dulcinea del Toboso; for never
+had such a name or such a princess come within the sphere of his
+observation, although he lived in the neighbourhood of that place.
+
+While they travelled along, conversing in this manner, they perceived
+about twenty shepherds descend through a cleft made by two high
+mountains. They were all clad in jackets of black sheep-skin, and each
+of them crowned with a garland, which was composed, as we afterwards
+learned, partly of cypress, and partly of yew; six of the foremost
+carried a bier, upon which they had strewed a variety of branches and
+flowers. And this was no sooner perceived by one of the goatherds, than
+he said, ‘These are the people who carry the corpse of Chrysostom, and
+the foot of that mountain is the place where he ordered himself to be
+interred.’
+
+Upon this information they made haste, and came up just at the time that
+the bearers having laid down the body, began to dig the grave with
+pick-axes on one side of a flinty rock. They received our travellers
+with great courtesy; and Don Quixote, with his company, went towards the
+bier to look at the dead body, which was covered with flowers, clad in
+shepherds weeds, and seemingly thirty years old. Notwithstanding he was
+dead, they could plainly perceive that he had been a man of an engaging
+aspect, and genteel stature; and could not help wondering at the sight
+of a great many papers, both sealed and loose, that lay round him in the
+coffin.
+
+While the new-comers were observing this phænomenon, and the shepherds
+busied in digging a grave, a wonderful and universal silence prevailed,
+till such time as one of the bearers said to another, ‘Consider,
+Ambrosio, if this be the very spot which Chrysostom mentioned, that his
+last will may be punctually fulfilled.’—‘This,’ answered Ambrosio, ‘is
+the very place in which my unhappy friend has often recounted to me the
+story of his misfortunes. Here it was he first beheld that mortal enemy
+of the human race; here also did he first declare his amorous and
+honourable intention; and here, at last, did Marcella signify her
+disgust and disdain, which put an end to the tragedy of his wretched
+life; and in this place, as a monument of his mishap, did he desire to
+be deposited in the bowels of eternal oblivion.’
+
+Then addressing himself to Don Quixote, and the travellers, he thus
+proceeded: ‘This corpse, gentlemen, which you behold with compassionate
+eyes, was the habitation of a soul which possessed an infinite share of
+the riches of Heaven: this is the body of Chrysostom, who was a man of
+unparalleled genius, the pink of courtesy and kindness; in friendship a
+very phœnix, liberal without bounds, grave without arrogance, gay
+without meanness, and in short second to none in every thing that was
+good, and without second in all that was unfortunate. He loved, and was
+abhorred; he adored and was disdained; he implored a savage; he
+importuned a statue; he hunted the wind; cried aloud to the desart; he
+was a slave to the most ungrateful of women; and the fruit of his
+servitude was death, which overtook him in the middle of his career; in
+short, he perished by the cruelty of a shepherdess, whom he has
+eternized in the memory of all the people in this country; as these
+papers which you gaze at would shew, if he had not ordered me to commit
+them to the flames as soon as his body shall be deposited in the earth.’
+
+‘You will use them, then, with more cruelty and rigour,’ said Vivaldo,
+‘than that of the author himself; seeing it is neither just nor
+convenient to fulfil the will of any man, provided it be unreasonable.
+Augustus Cæsar would have been in the wrong, had he consented to the
+execution of what the divine Mantuan ordered on his death-bed.
+Wherefore, Signior Ambrosio, while you commit the body of your friend to
+the earth, you ought not likewise to consign his writings to oblivion;
+nor perform indiscreetly what he in his affliction ordained; on the
+contrary, by publishing these papers, you ought to immortalize the
+cruelty of Marcella, that it may serve as an example in time to come,
+and warn young men to shun and avoid such dangerous precipices; for I,
+and the rest of this company, already know the history of that enamoured
+and unhappy friend, the nature of your friendship, the occasion of his
+death, together with the orders that he left upon his death-bed: from
+which lamentable story, it is easy to conclude how excessive must have
+been the cruelty of Marcella, the love of Chrysostom, the faith of your
+friendship, and the check which those receive, who precipitately run
+through the path exhibited to them by idle and mischievous love. Last
+night, we understood the death of Chrysostom, who, we are informed, was
+to be buried in this place; and therefore, out of curiosity and concern,
+have turned out of our way, resolving to come and see with our eyes,
+what had affected us so much in the hearing; and in return for that
+concern, and the desire we felt in remedying it, if it had been in our
+power, we entreat thee, O discreet Ambrosio! at least, for my own part,
+I beg of thee, not to burn these papers, but allow me to preserve some
+of them.’
+
+Accordingly, without staying for an answer, he reached out his hand, and
+took some of those that were nearest him; which Ambrosio perceiving,
+said, ‘Out of civility, Signior, I will consent to your keeping what you
+have taken up; but to think that I will fail to burn the rest, is a vain
+supposition.’ Vivaldo being desirous of seeing the contents, immediately
+opened one, intitled, A Song of Despair; which Ambrosio hearing, said,
+‘That is the last poem my unhappy friend composed; and that you may see,
+Signior, to what a pass his misfortunes had reduced him, read it aloud,
+and you’ll have time enough to finish it before the grave be
+made!’—‘That I will do with all my heart,’ said Vivaldo; and every body
+present being seized with the same desire, they stood around him in a
+circle, and he read what follows, with an audible voice.
+
+
+ A SONG OF DESPAIR.
+
+ I.
+
+ Since then, thy pleasure, cruel maid!
+ Is, that thy rigour and disdain
+ Should be from clime to clime convey’d,
+ All hell shall aid me to complain!
+ The torments of my heart to tell,
+ And thy achievements to record,
+ My voice shall raise a dreadful yell,
+ My bowels burst at every word:
+ Then listen to the baleful sound
+ That issues from my throbbing breast,
+ Thy pride, perhaps, it may confound,
+ And yield my madd’ning soul some rest.
+
+ II.
+
+ Let the snake’s hiss and wolf’s dire howl,
+ The bull’s harsh note, the lion’s roar,
+ The boding crow and screeching owl,
+ The tempest rattling on the shore,
+ The monster’s scream, the turtle’s moan,
+ The shrieks of the infernal crew,
+ Be mingled with my dying groan,
+ A concert terrible and new!
+ The hearer’s senses to appal,
+ And Reason from her throne depose;
+ Such melody will suit the gall
+ That from my burning liver flows!
+
+ III.
+
+ Old Tagus with his yellow hair,
+ And Betis with her olive wreath,
+ Shall never echo such despair,
+ Or listen to such notes of death,
+ As here I’ll utter and repeat,
+ From hill to dale, from rock to cave,
+ In wilds untrod by human feet,
+ In dungeons dreary as the grave.
+ The beasts of prey that scour the plain,
+ Shall thy more savage nature know,
+ The spacious earth resound my strain;
+ Such is the privilege of woe!
+
+ IV.
+
+ Disdain is death, and doubt o’erturns
+ The patience of the firmest mind;
+ But jealousy still fiercer burns,
+ Like all the flames of hell combin’d!
+ The horrors of that cursed fiend,
+ In absence to distraction rage,
+ And all the succour hope can lend,
+ The direful pangs will not assuage.
+ Such agonies will surely kill;
+ Yet spite of absence, doubts and scorn,
+ I live a miracle, and still
+ Those deadly flames within me burn!
+
+ V.
+
+ Hope’s shadow ne’er refresh’d my view,
+ Despair attends with wakeful strife;
+ The first let happier swains pursue,
+ The last my consort is for life.
+ Can hope and fear at once prevail,
+ When fear on certainty is fed?
+ To shut mine eyes will nought avail,
+ When thunder bursts around my head,
+ When cold Disdain in native dye
+ Appears, and Falshood’s cunning lore
+ Perverts the tale of Truth, shall I
+ Against Despondence shut the door?
+
+ VI.
+
+ O jealousy! love’s tyrant lord,
+ And thou, soul-chilling, dire disdain!
+ Lend me the dagger and the cord,
+ To stab remembrance, strangle pain.
+ I die bereft of hope in death,
+ Yet still those are the freest souls,
+ (I’ll vouch it with my latest breath)
+ Whom love’s old tyranny controuls.
+ My fatal enemy is fair,
+ In body and in mind, I’ll say,
+ And I have earn’d the woes I bear:
+ By rigour love maintains the sway.
+
+ VII.
+
+ With this opinion let me fall
+ A prey to unrelenting scorn;
+ No fun’ral pomp shall grace my pall,
+ No laurel my pale corpse adorn.
+ O thou! whose cruelty and hate
+ The tortures of my breast proclaim,
+ Behold how willingly to fate
+ I offer this devoted frame.
+ If thou, when I am past all pain,
+ Should’st think my fall deserves a tear,
+ Let not one single drop distain
+ Those eyes so killing and so clear.
+
+ VIII.
+
+ No! rather let thy mirth display
+ The joys that in thy bosom flow;
+ Ah! need I bid that heart be gay
+ Which always triumph’d in my woe!
+ Come then, for ever barr’d of bliss,
+ Ye, who with ceaseless torment dwell,
+ And agonizing, howl and hiss
+ In the profoundest shades of hell:
+ Come, Tantalus, with raging thirst,
+ Bring, Sysiphus, thy rolling stone,
+ Come, Titius, with thy vulture curst,
+ Nor leave Ixion rack’d alone.
+
+ IX.
+
+ The toiling sisters too shall join,
+ And my sad, solemn dirge repeat,
+ When to the grave my friends consign
+ These limbs deny’d a winding-sheet;
+ Fierce Cerberus shall clank his chain,
+ In chorus with chimæras dire:
+ What other pomp, what other strain,
+ Should he who dies of love require?
+ Be hush’d, my song, complain no more
+ Of her whose pleasure gave thee birth;
+ But let the sorrows I deplore
+ Sleep with me in the silent earth.
+
+This ditty of Chrysostom was approved by all the hearers; but he who
+read it observed, that it did not seem to agree with the report he had
+heard of Marcella’s virtue and circumspection; inasmuch as the author
+complained of jealousy, absence, and suspicion, which tended to the
+prejudice of her morals and reputation. To this objection, Ambrosio, as
+one that was acquainted with the most secret sentiments of his friend,
+answered, ‘Signior, for your satisfaction in this point, it is necessary
+you should know, that the forlorn shepherd composed this song in the
+absence of Marcella, from whose presence he had gone into voluntary
+exile, in order to try if he could reap the usual fruits of absence, and
+forget the cause of his despair; and as one in that situation is apt to
+be fretted by every circumstance, and invaded by every apprehension,
+poor Chrysostom was harassed by groundless jealousy and imaginary fears,
+which tormented him as much as if they had been real; for which reason,
+this circumstance ought not to invalidate the fame of Marcella’s virtue,
+against which, exclusive of her cruelty, arrogance, and disdain, envy
+itself hath not been able to lay the least imputation.’
+
+‘That may be very true,’ replied Vivaldo; who, being about to read
+another of the papers he had saved from the flames, was diverted from
+his purpose by a wonderful vision, for such it seemed, that all of a
+sudden presented itself to their eyes. This was no other than the
+shepherdess Marcella, who appeared upon the top of the rock, just above
+the grave they were digging, so beautiful that she surpassed all report.
+Those who had never seen her before, gazed with silent admiration; nor
+were the rest, who had been accustomed to see her, less astonished at
+her appearance. But no sooner did Ambrosio perceive her, than with
+indignation in his looks, he cried—
+
+‘Comest thou hither, fierce basilisk of these mountains! to see if the
+wounds of this unhappy youth whom thy cruelty hath slain, will bleed at
+thy approach? or art thou come to rejoice in the exploits of thy
+barbarity, and from the top of that mountain, behold, like another Nero,
+the flames which thy impiety hath kindled? or inhumanly to trample upon
+this unfortunate corpse, as the unnatural daughter insulted the dead
+body of her father Tarquin? Tell us at once the cause of thy approach,
+and deign to signify thy pleasure, that I who know how devoutly
+Chrysostom obeyed thee, when alive, may, now that he is dead, dispose
+his friends to yield the same obedience.’
+
+‘I come not,’ answered Marcella, for any of the purposes you have
+mentioned, Ambrosio; but rather personally to demonstrate how
+unreasonably people blame me for their own affliction, as well as for
+the death and sufferings of Chrysostom. I beg, therefore, that all
+present will give me the hearing, as it will be unnecessary to spend
+much time, or waste many words, to convince those that are unprejudiced
+of the truth. Heaven, you say, hath given me beauty, nay, such a share
+of it, as compels you to love me, in spite of your resolutions to the
+contrary; from whence you draw this inference, and insist upon it, that
+it is my duty to return your passion. By the help of that small capacity
+which nature has bestowed upon me, I know that which is beautiful is
+lovely; but I can by no means conceive, why the object which is beloved
+for being beautiful, is bound to be enamoured of its admirer; more
+especially, as it may happen that this same admirer is an object of
+disgust and abhorrence; in which case would it be reasonable in him to
+say, “I love thee because thou art beautiful, and thou must favour my
+passion, although I am deformed?” But granting the beauty equal on both
+sides, it does not follow that the desires ought to be mutual; for all
+sorts of beauty do not equally affect the spectator; some, for example,
+delighting the eye only, without captivating the heart. And well it is
+for mankind, that things are thus disposed; otherwise there would be a
+strange perplexity and confusion of desires, without power of
+distinguishing and chusing particular objects; for beauty being
+infinitely diversified, the inclination would be infinitely divided: and
+I have heard, that true love must be undivided and unconstrained; if
+this be the case, as I believe it is, why should I constrain my
+inclination, when I am under no other obligation so to do, but your
+saying that you are in love with me? Otherwise tell me, if Heaven that
+made me handsome, had created me a monster of deformity, should I have
+had cause to complain of you for not loving me? Besides, you are to
+consider, that I did not chuse the beauty I possess; such as it is, God
+was pleased of his own free will and favour to bestow it upon me,
+without any solicitation on my part. Therefore, as the viper deserves no
+blame for its sting, although it be mortal, because it is the gift of
+nature; neither ought I to be reviled for being beautiful: for beauty in
+a virtuous woman, is like a distant flame and a sharp sword afar off,
+which prove fatal to none but those who approach too near them. Honour
+and virtue are the ornaments of the soul; without which the body, though
+never so handsome, ought to seem ugly. If chastity then be one of the
+virtues which chiefly adorns and beautifies both body and soul, why
+should she that is beloved, lose that jewel for which she is chiefly
+beloved, merely to satisfy the appetite of one who, for his own selfish
+enjoyment, employs his whole care and industry to destroy it? I was born
+free; and to enjoy that freedom, have I chosen the solitude of these
+fields. The trees on these mountains are my companions; and I have no
+other mirror than the limpid streams of these crystal brooks. With the
+trees and the streams I share my contemplation and my beauty; I am a
+distant flame, and a sword afar off; those whom my eyes have captivated,
+my tongue has undeceived; and if hope be the food of desire, as I gave
+none to Chrysostom, or to any other person, so neither can his death,
+nor that of any other of my admirers, be justly imputed to my cruelty,
+but rather, to their own obstinate despair. To those who observe that
+his intentions were honourable, and that therefore I was bound to comply
+with them, I answer, when he declared the honesty of his designs in that
+very spot where now his grave is digging, I told him, my purpose was to
+live in perpetual solitude, and let the earth alone enjoy the fruits of
+my retirement, and the spoils of my beauty: wherefore, if he,
+notwithstanding this my explanation, persevered without hope, and sailed
+against the wind; it is no wonder that he was overwhelmed in the gulph
+of his rashness. Had I cajoled him, I should have been perfidious; had I
+gratified his inclination, I should have acted contrary to my own reason
+and resolution. But because he persisted after I had explained myself,
+and despaired before he had cause to think I abhorred him, I leave you
+to judge whether or not it be reasonable to lay his misfortune at my
+door. Let him whom I have deceived complain, and let him despair to whom
+I have broke my promise; if I call upon any man, he may depend upon me;
+if I admit of his addresses, he may rejoice in his success: but why
+should I be stiled a barbarous homicide by him whom I never soothed,
+deceived, called, or admitted? Hitherto Heaven has not thought fit that
+I should love by destiny; and the world must excuse me from loving by
+election. Let this general declaration serve as an answer to all those
+who solicit me in particular, and henceforward give them to understand,
+that whosoever dies for me, perishes not by jealousy or disdain, for she
+who never gave her love, can never give just cause of jealousy; neither
+ought her plain-dealing to be interpreted into disdain. Let him who
+terms me a fierce basilisk, shun me as an evil being; if any man thinks
+me ungrateful, let him refuse his services when I ask them. If I have
+disowned any one, let him renounce me in his turn; and let him who has
+found me cruel, abandon me in my distress; this fierce basilisk, this
+ungrateful, cruel, supercilious wretch, will neither seek, serve, own,
+nor follow you, in any shape whatever. If Chrysostom perished by the
+impatience of his own extravagant desire, why should my innocent reserve
+be inveighed against? If I have preserved my virginity in these desarts,
+why should he that loves me, wish to see me lose it among mankind! I
+have riches of my own, as you all know, and covet no man’s wealth. I am
+free, and will not be subjected; I neither love nor hate any man; I do
+not cajole this one, nor teaze that, nor do I joke with one, or
+discourse with another; but amuse myself with the care of my goats, and
+the innocent conversation of the shepherdesses belonging to the
+neighbouring villages. My desires are bounded by these mountains; or if
+my meditation surpasses these bounds, it is only to contemplate the
+beauty of the heavens, those steps by which the soul ascends to its
+original mansion.’ So saying, without waiting for any reply, she turned
+her back, and vanished into a thicket on a neighbouring mountain,
+leaving all that were present equally surprized with her beauty and
+discretion.
+
+Some of the by-standers being wounded by the powerful shafts that were
+darted from her fair eyes, manifested an inclination to follow her,
+without availing themselves of the ingenuous declaration they had heard;
+which being perceived by Don Quixote, who thought this a proper occasion
+for exercising his chivalry in defence of distressed damsels; he laid
+his hand upon the hilt of his sword, and in a lofty and audible voice,
+pronounced, ‘Let no person, of whatsoever rank or degree, presume to
+follow the beautiful Marcella, on pain of incurring my most furious
+indignation. She has demonstrated, by clear and undeniable arguments,
+how little, if at all, she is to be blamed for the death of Chrysostom;
+and how averse she is to comply with the desires of any of her admirers;
+for which reason, instead of being pursued and persecuted, she ought to
+be honoured and esteemed by all virtuous men, as the only person in the
+universe who lives in such a chaste and laudable intention.’ Whether it
+was owing to these menaces of the knight, or to the advice of Ambrose,
+who desired them to perform the last office to their deceased friend,
+not one of the shepherds attempted to stir from the spot, until the
+grave being finished, and the papers burnt, the body of poor Chrysostom
+was interred, not without abundance of tears shed by his surviving
+companions. The grave was secured by a large fragment of the rock which
+they rolled upon it, till such time as a tomb-stone could be made, under
+the direction of Ambrose, who was resolved to have the following epitaph
+engraved upon it.
+
+ The body of a wretched swain,
+ Kill’d by a cruel maid’s disdain,
+ In this cold bed neglected lies.
+ He liv’d, fond hapless youth! to prove,
+ Th’ inhuman tyranny of love,
+ Exerted in Marcella’s eyes.
+
+Having strewed the place with a profusion of flowers and branches, every
+body present condoled, and took leave of the afflicted executor; and Don
+Quixote bade farewel to his kind landlords, as well as to the
+travellers, who would have persuaded him to accompany them to Seville,
+which they said was a city so well adapted for adventures, that they
+occurred in every street, nay, at the corner of every blind alley. Our
+hero thanked them most courteously for their advice, and the inclination
+they expressed to give him pleasure; but assured them, he neither could
+nor would set out for Seville, until he should have cleared these
+desarts of the robbers and banditti, of whom they were reported to be
+full.
+
+The travellers seeing him thus laudably determined, importuned him no
+farther, but, taking leave of him anew, pursued their journey, during
+which they did not fail to discuss the story of Marcella and Chrysostom,
+as well as the madness of Don Quixote; who, on his part, resolved to go
+in quest of the shepherdess, and offer her all the service in his power:
+but this scheme did not turn out according to his expectation, as will
+be related in the course of this faithful history, the second book of
+which is here concluded.
+
+END OF THE SECOND BOOK.
+
+Footnote 54:
+
+ When a knight challenged the whole world, he wore an emprize,
+ consisting of a gold chain, or some other badge of love and chivalry;
+ and sometimes this emprize was fixed in a publick place, to attract
+ the attention of strangers. When any person accepted the challenge for
+ a trial of chivalry, called the combat of courtesy, he touched this
+ emprize; but, if he tore it away, it was considered as a resolution to
+ fight the owner to extremity or outrance. The combat of courtesy is
+ still practised by our prize-fighters and boxers, who shake hands
+ before the engagement, in token of love.
+
+ But no defiance of this kind could be either published or accepted
+ without the permission of the prince at whose court the combatants
+ chanced to be. Accordingly, we are told by Oliver de La Marche, that
+ the lord of Ternant having published a defiance at the court of
+ Burgundy, in the year 1445, Galiot asked the duke’s permission to
+ touch the challenger’s emprize; which being granted, he advanced and
+ touched it, saying to the bearer, while he bowed very low, ‘Noble
+ knight, I touch your emprize; and, with God’s permission, will do my
+ utmost to fulfil your desire, either on horseback or on foot.’ The
+ lord of Ternant humbly thanked him for his condescension, said he was
+ extremely welcome, and promised to send him that same day a cartel,
+ mentioning the arms they should use.
+
+Footnote 55:
+
+ Cachopines is the name given to the Europeans by the Indians of
+ Mexico.
+
+
+
+
+ BOOK III.
+
+
+ CHAP. I.
+ WHEREIN IS RECOUNTED THE UNLUCKY ADVENTURE WHICH HAPPENED TO DON
+ QUIXOTE, IN MEETING WITH CERTAIN UNMERCIFUL YANGUESIANS.
+
+
+The sage Cid Hamet Benengeli relates, that Don Quixote having bid adieu
+to his entertainers, and to all who were present at the funeral of the
+shepherd Chrysostom, entered, with his squire, the same wood to which
+Marcella had retreated; where, when they had wandered about upwards of
+two hours, without seeing her, they chanced to find themselves in a
+delightful spot, overgrown with verdant grass, and watered by a cool and
+pleasant stream; which was so inviting as to induce them to stay in it
+during the heat of the day, that now began to be very sultry; the knight
+and squire, therefore, dismounting, and leaving the ass and Rozinante at
+pleasure to regale themselves with the rich pasture, emptied their
+knapsack; and, without any ceremony, attacked the contents, which they
+eat together like good friends, laying aside all vain distinction of
+master and man.
+
+Sancho had been at no pains to tether Rozinante; secure, as he thought,
+in knowing him to be so meek and peaceable, that all the mares in the
+meadows of Cordova could not provoke his concupiscence. Chance, however,
+or the devil, who is not often found napping, ordered it so, as that a
+drove of Gallician fillies belonging to certain Yanguesian carriers,
+happened, at that very instant, to be feeding in the same valley: for,
+it being the custom of these people to halt and refresh themselves and
+their beasts in places where there is plenty of water and grass, they
+could not have lighted on a more convenient spot than that where Don
+Quixote chanced to be. It was then that Rozinante, seized with an
+inclination to solace himself with some of those skittish females, no
+sooner had them in the wind, than deviating from his natural disposition
+and accustomed deliberation, without asking leave of his lord and
+master, he went off at a small trot, to communicate his occasions to the
+objects of his desire. But they, it seems, more fond of their pasture
+than of his addresses, received him so uncivilly with their hoofs and
+teeth, that, in a twinkling, his girth was broke, his saddle kicked off,
+and he himself remained in cuerpo. But what he chiefly suffered was from
+the carriers, who, seeing violence offered to their mares, ran to their
+assistance with long staves, which they exercised upon him so
+unmercifully, that he fell prostrate to the ground, almost battered to
+death.
+
+The knight and Sancho seeing their steed thus bastinadoed, made all the
+haste they could to his rescue; the former addressing the latter in this
+manner: ‘I perceive, friend Sancho, that these are no knights, but
+fellows of low degree and infamous descent: this particular I mention,
+because thou mayest now assist me in taking just vengeance upon them,
+for the injury they have done to Rozinante before my face.’—‘What a
+devil of vengeance can we pretend to take,’ answered the squire, ‘when
+they are more than twenty, and we but two? Nay, I believe, if it was put
+to the trial, no better than one and a half.’—‘I myself am worth an
+hundred of such vagabonds!’ cried Don Quixote: and without uttering
+another syllable, he unsheathed his sword, and assaulted the
+Yanguesians, being seconded by Sancho, who suffered himself to be rouzed
+and encouraged by the example of his master; and, indeed, the knight
+lent the first he met with such a hearty stroke, as laid open a leathern
+jacket he wore, together with a large portion of his shoulder.
+
+The carriers seeing themselves thus maltreated by two men only, took the
+benefit of their numbers, and ran to sustain one another with their
+staves; then surrounding the two assailants, began to drum upon their
+carcases with infinite eagerness and dexterity. True it is, at the
+second application, Sancho fell to the earth; a misfortune that also
+happened to his master; who, in spite of all his own address, together
+with the assistance of his good friend, soon found himself stretched at
+the feet of Rozinante, who had not as yet been able to rise: from whence
+we may learn what furious execution is often done by packstaves, when
+managed by the hands of such enraged clowns.
+
+The carriers perceiving the havock they had made, thought proper to load
+again with all dispatch, and pursue their journey, leaving our
+adventurers in miserable plight and doleful dilemma. The first that
+recovered the use of his senses was Sancho Panza; who, finding himself
+laid along by the side of his master, pronounced, with a weak and
+lamentable voice, ‘Sir Don Quixote! ah, Sir Don Quixote!’—‘What wouldst
+thou have, brother Sancho?’ replied the knight, in the same feeble and
+complaining tone. ‘I wish,’ resumed Sancho, ‘your worship would, if it
+be possible, comfort me with a couple of gulps of that same balsam made
+by fairy Blas, if you have got any of it about you: perhaps it may be
+serviceable in bruises and broken bones, as well as in wounds and
+running sores.’—‘Would to God I had it here, unfortunate wight that I
+am!’ cried Don Quixote; ‘but I swear to thee, Sancho, on the faith of a
+knight-errant, that ere two days pass, if some mischievous accident does
+not intervene, I will have it in my possession, if my hands do not very
+much misgive me.’—‘In how many days does your worship think we shall be
+able to move our feet?’ said the squire. ‘With regard to myself,’
+answered the battered knight, ‘I really cannot fix any number of days;
+but this I know, that I alone am to blame for what has happened, in
+condescending to use my sword against antagonists who were not dubbed
+and knighted like myself. I therefore firmly believe, that as a
+punishment for having transgressed the laws of chivalry, the God of
+battles hath permitted me to receive this disgraceful chastisement; for
+which reason, brother Sancho, it is proper that thou shouldst be
+apprized of what I am going to say, as it may be of great importance to
+the safety of us both: whenever thou shalt see us insulted or aggrieved
+for the future, by such rascally scum, thou shalt not wait for my
+drawing upon them; for I will in no shape meddle with such unworthy
+foes; but lay thy hand upon thy sword, and with thy own arm chastise
+them to thy heart’s content; but should any knights make up to their
+defence and assistance, then shall I know how to protect thee, and
+assault them with all my might; and thou art already convinced, by a
+thousand amazing proofs, how far extends the valour of this my
+invincible arm.’ So arrogant was the poor knight become by his victory
+over the valiant Biscayan.
+
+This wholesome advice, however, was not so much relished by Sancho, but
+that he replied, ‘Sir, I am a quiet, meek, peaceable man, and can digest
+any injury, be it never so hard; for I have a wife and small children to
+maintain and bring up: wherefore, let me also apprize, (since I cannot
+lay my commands upon) your worship, that I will in no shape whatever use
+my sword against either knight or knave; and that henceforward, in the
+fight of God, I forgive all injuries, past, present, or to come, which I
+have already received, at this present time suffer, or may hereafter
+undergo, from any person whatsoever, high or low, rich or poor, gentle
+or simple, without exception to rank or circumstance.’
+
+His master hearing this declaration, answered, ‘I with the grievous pain
+I feel in this rib would abate a little, so as that I could speak for a
+few moments with ease, and convince thee of thy damnable error, Panza.
+Hark ye me, sinner! suppose the gale of fortune, which hath been
+hitherto so adverse, should change in our favour; and, swelling the
+sails of our desire, conduct us safely, without the least impediment,
+into the haven of some one of those islands which I have promised thee:
+what would become of thy wretched affairs, if after I had won and given
+it into thy possession, thou shouldst frustrate my intention, by thy
+lack of knighthood, ambition, valour and courage, to revenge thy wrongs,
+or defend thy government? for I would have thee to know, that in all
+new-conquered kingdoms or provinces, the friends of their natural
+masters are never so quiet or reconciled to their new sovereign, as to
+dispel all fear of some fresh insurrection, to alter the government
+again, and, as the saying is, try fortune once more: it is therefore
+requisite that the new possessor should have understanding to govern,
+resolution to punish, and valour to defend himself, in case of any such
+accident.’
+
+‘In this last accident which hath befallen us,’ said Sancho, ‘I wish the
+Lord had pleased to give me that same understanding and valour your
+worship mentions: but I protest, upon the word of a poor sinner, that I
+am at present more fit for a searcloth than such conversation. See if
+your worship can make shift to rise, and then we will give some
+assistance to Rozinante, though it be more than he deserves; for he was
+the principal cause of all this plaguy-rib-roasting: never could I
+believe such a thing of Rozinante, who I always thought was as chaste
+and sober a person as myself; but this verifies the common remark, that
+you must keep company a long time with a man before you know him
+thoroughly; and that there is nothing certain in this life. Who could
+have thought that those huge back-strokes your worship dealt so heartily
+to the unlucky traveller, would be followed, as it were post-haste, by
+such a mighty tempest of blows, as just now discharged itself upon our
+shoulders!’—‘Thy carcase, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘was formed for
+enduring such rough weather; but my limbs were tenderly nursed in soft
+wool and fine linen; and therefore must feel more sensibly the pain of
+this discomfiture; and if I did not believe (believe, said I) if I were
+not certain, that all these inconveniencies are inseparably annexed to
+the exercise of arms, I would lie still where I am, and die with pure
+vexation.’
+
+To this protestation the squire replied, ‘Seeing these misfortunes are
+the natural crops of chivalry, pray good your worship, do they happen at
+all times of the year, or only fall at an appointed season; because, in
+my simple conjecture, two such harvests will leave us altogether
+incapable of reaping a third, if God, of his infinite mercy, will not be
+pleased to send us extraordinary succour.’—‘Thou must know, friend
+Sancho,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘that the life of a knight-errant is
+subject to a thousand dangers and mishaps; but then he enjoys the
+self-same chance of being a king or emperor, as experience demonstrates
+to have been the case of divers and sundry knights, the history of whose
+lives I am perfectly well acquainted with; and I could now relate, if
+this pain would give me leave, the fortunes of some, who, by their
+valour alone, have risen to that supreme degree: and those very persons,
+both before and after their success, have undergone various calamities
+and affliction; witness the valiant Amadis de Gaul, who saw himself in
+the power of his mortal enemy Arcalaus the inchanter, of whom it is
+positively affirmed, that while the knight was his prisoner, he caused
+him to be bound to a pillar in his court-yard, and gave him two hundred
+stripes with the reins of his horse’s bridle. There is likewise a
+certain secret author of no small credit, who relates that the knight of
+the sun was caught in a trap in a certain castle, and falling found
+himself tied hand and foot in a deep dungeon below ground, where was
+administered unto him one of those things they call clysters, composed
+of sand and water, which had well nigh cost him his life; and if he had
+not been succoured in that perilous conjuncture by a sage who was his
+good friend, the poor knight would have fared very ill. Wherefore what
+hath happened to me, may easily pass unheeded, among those much greater
+affronts that such worthy people have undergone: besides, I would have
+thee know, Sancho, that it is never reckoned an affront to be wounded by
+those instruments which are casually in the hands of our enemies; for it
+is expressly mentioned in the laws of duelling, that if a shoe-maker
+beats a man with a last he has by accident in his hand, the man cannot
+properly be said to be cudgelled, although the said last was made of
+wood. This particular I mention, that thou mayest not suppose us
+affronted, although we have been mauled in this unlucky fray; for the
+weapons with which those men threshed us so severely, were no other than
+their own pack-staves; and so far as I can remember, there was neither
+tuck, poignard, nor sword, among them.’
+
+‘They did not give me time,’ answered Sancho, ‘to make any such
+observation: for scarce had I laid my fingers upon my Toledo[56], when
+there rained a shower of cudgels upon my poor shoulders, that banished
+the light from my eyes, and strength from my feet, and laid me flat upon
+the spot where I now lie, not so much concerned about thinking whether
+this drubbing be an affront or not, as about the intolerable pain of the
+blows, which remain imprinted upon my memory as well as upon my
+carcase.’——‘Notwithstanding all this complaining,’ said the knight, ‘I
+aver, brother Sancho, that there is no remembrance which time does not
+efface, nor pain that death does not remove.’—‘And pray, what greater
+misfortune can there be,’ answered Sancho, ‘than that which nothing but
+time can remove, or death put a stop to? If this mishap of ours were
+such a one as might be cured with a couple of snips of searcloth, it
+would not be altogether so vexatious; but so far as I can see, all the
+plaister of an hospital will not be sufficient to set us cleverly on our
+legs again.’
+
+‘Truce with thy reflections,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘and collecting
+strength out of weakness, as I will endeavour to do, let us rise and
+examine Rozinante’s case; for, in all appearance, the poor beast hath
+not suffered the least part of the misfortune.’—‘That is not to be
+wondered at,’ said the squire, ‘he being a knight-errant also; but what
+surprizes me most is, that my dapple should get off without paying his
+score, when we are scored all over.’—‘Destiny, when one door is shut,
+always leaves another open, is a resource in all calamities,’ said Don
+Quixote: ‘this I observe, because thy ass will now supply the place of
+Rozinante, and carry me from hence to some castle, where my wounds may
+be cured: more especially as such carriage will be no dishonour to
+chivalry; for I remember to have read, that the good old Silenus, tutor
+and companion to the jolly god of mirth and wine, entered the city of
+the hundred gates, lolling at his ease upon a most comely ass.’—‘It may
+be very true that he rode upon an ass,’ replied Sancho; ‘but there is
+some difference, I apprehend, between riding, and lying across the beast
+like a bag of dirt.’ To this observation the knight answered, ‘Those
+wounds which are received in battle, may well give, but can never
+deprive one of honour: therefore, friend Sancho, do as I bid thee,
+without farther reply; get up as well as thou canst, and lay me upon
+dapple just as thou shalt find most convenient, that we may be gone
+before night comes to surprize us in this unfrequented place.’
+
+‘And yet,’ said Sancho, ‘I have heard your worship remark, that it is
+usual for knights-errant to sleep upon commons and heaths the greatest
+part of the year; aye, and to be thankful for their good fortune in
+being able so to do.’—‘Yes,’ said the knight, ‘when they can do no
+better, or are in love; and this is so true, that there was a knight who
+lay upon a bare rock, exposed to the sultry noon and midnight damps,
+with all the inclemencies of the weather, during two whole years, before
+his mistress knew any thing of the matter: this was no other than
+Amadis, who, assuming the name of Beltenebros, took up his quarters upon
+the naked rock, for the space of either eight years, or eight months, I
+really do not remember which; only that he remained doing penance in
+that place, for some disgust shewn to him by his dame Oriana: but truce
+with this conversation, Sancho, and make haste, before such another
+accident can happen to thy beast, as that which hath already befallen
+Rozinante.’
+
+‘Odds my life! that would be the devil indeed!’ cried Sancho, who
+uttering thirty ah’s and sixty oh’s! together with a hundred and fifty
+ola’s! and curses upon him who had brought him to that pass, raised
+himself up, though he could not for his soul stand upright, but in spite
+of all his efforts, remained bent like a Turkish bow; and in that
+attitude, with infinite labour, made shift to equip his ass, which had
+also gone a little astray, presuming upon the excessive licence of the
+time; he then lifted up Rozinante, who, could he have found a tongue to
+complain with, would certainly have surpassed both his master and Sancho
+in lamentation: in short, the squire disposed of Don Quixote upon the
+ass, to whose tail Rozinante was tied; then taking his own dapple by the
+halter, jogged on, sometimes faster, sometimes slower, towards the place
+where he conjectured the high road to lie; and indeed, they had not
+exceeded a short league, when by good luck, which now seemed to take the
+management of their affairs, they arrived at the highway, and discovered
+an inn, which, to Sancho’s great grief, was mistaken for a castle by the
+joyful knight. This difference of opinion begat an obstinate dispute
+that lasted until they arrived at the place, into which Sancho
+immediately conveyed his cargo, without farther expostulation.
+
+Footnote 56:
+
+ Tizona, which is the word in the original, is a romantick name given
+ to the sword that belonged to Roderick Dias de Bivar, the famous
+ Spanish general against the Moors.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. II.
+ THE ADVENTURE THAT HAPPENED TO THIS SAGACIOUS KNIGHT AT THE INN,
+ WHICH HE MISTOOK FOR A CASTLE.
+
+
+The innkeeper seeing Don Quixote laid athwart the ass, asked what was
+the matter? to which interrogation Sancho replied, ‘Nothing but a few
+bruises which my master has received in a fall from a rock in this
+neighbourhood.’ The landlady, who differed in disposition from most of
+your innkeepers wives, being naturally charitable and sympathizing with
+the calamities of her fellow-creatures, came running to the relief of
+the battered knight, and brought her daughter, who was a very handsome
+girl, to assist in taking care of her guest. There was in the same house
+a servant-maid from the Asturies, remarkable for her capacious
+countenance, beetle brow’d, flat-nosed, blind of one eye, and bleared in
+the other: true it is, the gentility of her shape made amends for her
+other defects; she was something short of seven hands from head to foot,
+and moreover incumbered so much by her shoulders, that she was obliged
+to contemplate the dust beneath her feet oftener than she could have
+wished.
+
+This comely creature, with the assistance of the other damsel, made up a
+sort of sorry bed for our hero in a garret; which gave evident tokens of
+having been formerly an hay-loft, and in which at that time a certain
+carrier had taken up his quarters, in a bed of his own making, a little
+on one side our knight’s: and though his couch was composed of the
+pannels and furniture of his mules, it had greatly the advantage over
+Don Quixote’s, which consisted only of four rough boards, supported on
+two benches of unequal height, covered by a mattras, so thin it might
+have passed for a quilt, and full of knots so hard as to be mistaken for
+pebble stones, had not the wool appeared through divers openings; with a
+couple of sheets made of bull’s hide, and a blanket so bare, that you
+might have counted every thread, without losing one of the reckoning.
+
+In this wretched bed, Don Quixote having laid himself down, was anointed
+from head to foot by the good woman and her daughter, while Maritornes
+(that was the Asturian’s name) stood hard by holding a light. The
+landlady, in the course of her application, perceiving the knight’s
+whole body black and blue, observed that those marks seemed rather the
+effects of drubbing than of a fall; but Sancho affirmed she was
+mistaken, and that the marks in question were occasioned by the knobs
+and corners of the rocks among which he fell. ‘And now I think of it,’
+said he, ‘pray, Madam, manage matters so as to leave a little of your
+ointment, for it will be needed, I’ll assure you; my own loins are none
+of the soundest at present.’—‘What, did you fall too?’ said she. ‘I
+can’t say I did,’ answered the squire, ‘but I was so infected by seeing
+my master tumble, that my whole body aches as much as if I had been
+cudgelled without mercy.’—‘That may very easily happen,’ cried the
+daughter: ‘I myself have often dreamed that I was falling from a high
+tower, without ever coming to the ground; and, upon waking, have found
+myself bruised and battered, as if I had actually got a great
+fall.’—‘Ah, mistress!’ replied the squire, ‘here is the point; I,
+without dreaming at all, but on the contrary, being as broad awake as I
+am this precious minute, found almost as many marks upon my own
+shoulders, as you have observed upon those of my master Don
+Quixote.’—‘What is the name of that knight?’ said the Asturian. ‘Don
+Quixote de La Mancha,’ answered the squire: ‘he is a knight-adventurer,
+and one of the greatest and most valiant that have been seen in this
+world for many ages.’—‘And what is a knight-adventurer?’ resumed the
+wench. ‘Are you such a suckling as not to know that?’ cried Sancho;
+‘well, I’ll tell you, mistress of mine, a knight-adventurer is a thing,
+that before you count a couple, may be kicked and be crowned: to-day he
+is the most despicable and beggarly wretch upon earth, and to-morrow he
+will have a brace of kingdoms to bestow upon his squires.’—‘Methinks,’
+said the landlady, ‘seeing you appertain to such a great man, you ought
+to be a count at least.’—‘All in good time,’ replied Sancho; ‘we have
+not been out a month in search of adventures, and have found none worth
+naming; besides, people sometimes go in quest of one thing, and meet
+with another: indeed, if my master Don Quixote gets well of this
+drubbing——fall, I mean, and I myself escape without being crippled, I
+won’t barter my hopes for the best lordship in Spain.’
+
+The knight having listened attentively to this whole conversation, sat
+up in his bed as well as he could, and taking his landlady by the hand,
+‘Believe me, beautiful lady,’ said he, ‘you may account yourself
+extremely happy in having within your castle my person as your guest;
+such a guest, that if I praise him not, it is on account of the common
+saying, that self-commendation is in effect self-dispraise. My squire,
+however, will intimate who I am; while I content myself with assuring
+you, that I will, to all eternity, preserve engraven upon the tables of
+my memory the benevolence you this day vouchsafed unto me, that I may be
+grateful for the favour, as long as life shall remain. And, oh! that it
+pleased you, Heaven supreme, that love had not so vanquished and
+enslaved my heart to the triumphant eyes of the beautiful ingrate whom I
+now mention between my teeth, but that the charms of this amiable young
+lady could be the authors of my freedom.’
+
+The good woman, her daughter, and the gentle Maritornes, were astonished
+at this rhapsody, which they understood as much as if it had been
+delivered in Greek; though they could easily comprehend, that the whole
+of it tended to compliment and proffers of service: as they were
+therefore altogether unaccustomed to such language, they gazed at him
+with admiration, as a person of a different species from other men; and
+having thanked him for his courtesy, in their tapster phrase, left him
+to his repose; while the Asturian Maritornes administered to Sancho, who
+had as much need of assistance as his master.
+
+She and the carrier had made an assignation to divert themselves that
+night; nay, she had given her word that as soon as the company should be
+quiet, and her master and mistress asleep, she would visit him in the
+dark, and give him all the satisfaction he desired; and indeed it is
+recorded, for the honour of this good creature, that she never failed to
+perform her promises of that kind punctually, although they had been
+made in the midst of a heath, and out of the hearing of all evidence:
+for she valued herself much upon her gentility, and did not look upon it
+as any affront to be servant at an inn, because, she observed,
+disappointments and misfortunes had reduced her to that condition.
+
+The bed of Don Quixote, which we have described so hard, so narrow,
+crazy, and uncomfortable, stood foremost, and exactly in the middle of
+this ruinous hay-loft; hard by had Sancho taken up his quarters upon a
+rush-mat, covered with a rug, which seemed to be manufactured of hemp,
+rather than wool; and last of all was the carrier’s couch, composed, as
+we have already said, of the pannels and furniture of his two best
+mules; for he had no less than twelve plump, sleek, and notable beasts,
+being one of the richest carriers in Arevalo, according to the report of
+the author of this history, who makes particular mention of him, and
+says he knew him perfectly well; nay, some go so far as to affirm, that
+he was his distant relation: be this as it will, Cid Hamet Benengeli was
+a most curious historian, and punctual to admiration, as appears from
+what hath been related, which, though in itself mean and trivial, he
+would by no means pass over in silence. This ought to serve as an
+example to those important and weighty historians, who recount events so
+succinctly and superficially, that the reader can scarce get a smack of
+them; while the most substantial circumstances are left, as it were, in
+the ink-horn, through carelessness, ignorance, and malice. A thousand
+times blessed be the authors of Tablante and Ricamonte, and he that
+compiled that other book, in which are recounted the atchievements of
+Count Tomillas! How punctually have they described the most minute
+particular!—But, to return to our story.
+
+The carrier having visited his cattle, and given them their night’s
+allowance, stretched himself upon his pannels, in expectation of the
+most faithful Maritornes; while Sancho, plaistered all over, and huddled
+up in his kennel, endeavoured with all his might to sleep; but the
+aching of his ribs would by no means allow him to enjoy that
+satisfaction; and Don Quixote, for the same uncomfortable reason, lay
+like a hare, with his eyes wide open. A profound silence reigned
+throughout the whole house, in which there was no other light than a
+lamp stuck up in the passage; and this wonderful quiet, together with
+those reflections which always occurred to our knight, relating to the
+events continually recorded in the books of chivalry, that first
+disordered his understanding; I say, those reflections suggested to his
+fancy one of the strangest whims that ever entered a man’s imagination.
+This was no other than a full persuasion that he was arrived at some
+famous castle; for, as we have before observed, all the inns he lodged
+at seemed castles to him; and that the landlord’s daughter was the
+governor’s only child, who, captivated by his genteel appearance, was
+become deeply enamoured of him, and had actually promised to come,
+without the knowledge of her parents, and pass the best part of the
+night in bed with him. Believing, therefore, this chimera (which was the
+work of his own brain) to be a firm and undoubted fact, he began to
+reflect with extreme anxiety upon the dangerous dilemma into which his
+virtue was like to be drawn; and resolved in his heart to commit no
+treason against his mistress Dulcinea del Toboso; even though Queen
+Ginebra herself, and the lady Quintaniona, should make him a tender of
+their favours.
+
+While his mind was engrossed by these extravagant fancies, the hour of
+assignation arrived, and an unlucky hour it was for him, when the kind
+Asturian, barefoot and in her smock, having her hair tucked up under a
+fustian nightcap, entered the apartment in which the three guests were
+lodged, and with silence and caution directed her steps towards the nest
+of her beloved carrier. But scarce had she got within the door, when her
+approach was perceived by our knight, who sitting up in his bed, in
+spite of his plaisters and the aching of his ribs, stretched forth his
+arms to receive this beautiful young lady, who, on her part, holding in
+her breath, moved softly on her tiptoes, groping her way with her hands
+before her.
+
+While she thus crept along, in quest of her lover, she chanced to come
+within arm’s-length of Don Quixote, who laid fast hold of her by the
+wrist, and without her daring to speak a syllable, pulled her towards
+him, and made her sit down upon the bed; he then felt her smock, which,
+though made of the coarsest canvas, to him seemed a shift of the finest
+and softest lawn; the string of glass beads she wore about her wrist, in
+his apprehension out-shone the brightest oriental pearl: her hair, which
+bore some resemblance to a horse’s mane, he mistook for threads of pure
+Arabian gold, that even eclipsed the splendor of the sun; and her
+breath, which doubtless smelt strong of broken meat and garlick, his
+fancy converted into an aromatick flavour, proceeding from her delicate
+mouth: in short, his imagination represented her in the same form and
+situation with that of a certain princess, recorded in one of his books,
+who came to visit a wounded knight of whom she was enamoured; with all
+the other embellishments there described. Nay, such was the infatuation
+of this poor gentleman, that he was not to be undeceived, either by the
+touch, the breath, or any other circumstance of this honest wench,
+though they were powerful enough to discompose the stomach of anybody
+but a rampant carrier.
+
+But our knight believed he folded in his arms the goddess of beauty,
+straining her in his embrace, began to pronounce, in a soft and amorous
+tone, ‘Would to Heaven! I were so circumstanced, beautiful and high-born
+lady! as to be able to pay the transcendent favour bestowed upon me, in
+the contemplation of your amazing charms; but it hath pleased fortune,
+that never ceases to persecute the virtuous, to lay me upon this bed, so
+bruised and battered, that even if it was my desire to gratify yours, I
+should find it utterly impossible; how much more so, when that
+impossibility is linked to another still greater? I mean the plighted
+faith I have vowed to the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, the sole
+mistress of my most hidden thoughts: did not that consideration
+interpose, I should not be such a simple knight, as to let slip this
+happy occasion which your benevolence hath tendered to my choice.’
+
+Maritornes, sweating with vexation to find herself thus pinioned, as it
+were, by the knight, whose discourse she neither heeded nor understood;
+endeavoured, without answering a syllable, to disengage herself from his
+embrace: while the honest carrier, whose lewd desires kept him awake,
+and made him perceive his doxy from the moment she entered, listened
+attentively to every thing that Don Quixote said; and being jealous that
+the Asturian had broke her promise to him, in order to keep it with
+another, crept nearer the bed of his rival, to wait the issue of this
+rhapsody, the meaning of which he could not comprehend; observing,
+however, that the wench struggled to get loose, and that the knight
+endeavoured to detain her, he could not relish the joke, but lifting his
+arm on high, discharged such a terrible blow on the lanthorn jaws of the
+enamoured Don, as bathed his whole countenance in blood; and not
+satisfied with this application, jumped upon his ribs, and travelled
+over his whole carcase, at a pace somewhat exceeding that of a brisk
+trot, until the bed, which was none of the strongest, either in
+materials or foundation, unable to sustain the additional weight, sunk
+to the ground with both; and made such a hideous noise in its fall, as
+waked the inn-keeper, who immediately concluded that Maritornes was
+concerned in the adventure, because she made no answer when he called.
+
+On this supposition he arose, and lighting a candle, went directly to
+the place where he had heard the scuffle: meanwhile, the poor wench,
+confused and affrighted at the approach of her master, who was a fellow
+of a most savage disposition, retreated to the kennel of Sancho Panza,
+who slept in spite of all this din, and nestling in beside him, wound
+herself up like a ball, and lay snug. The landlord now entered the
+apartment, and crying with a loud voice, ‘Where have you got, strumpet?
+to be sure these must be your jade’s tricks, with a vengeance!’ Sancho
+started, and feeling a prodigious weight upon him, thought he was
+labouring under the night-mare, and beginning to lay about him on all
+sides, chanced, in course of his efforts, to bestow divers cuffs on
+Maritornes, who feeling herself thus belaboured, forgot the care of her
+reputation, and returned the squire’s compliments so heartily, that
+sleep forsook him whether he would or not: without knowing the person
+who treated him so roughly, he raised himself up, as well as he could,
+and going to loggerheads with Maritornes, a most furious and diverting
+skirmish ensued.
+
+By this time, the carrier perceiving by the light the situation of his
+mistress, ran to her assistance; and the landlord followed the same
+course, though with a very different intention, namely, to chastise the
+maid; being fully persuaded, that she was the sole cause of all this
+uproar; and so, as the saying is, the cat to the rat, the rat to the
+rope, the rope to the gallows. The carrier drummed upon Sancho, Sancho
+struck at the maid, the maid pummelled him, the innkeeper disciplined
+her; all of them exerting themselves with such eagerness, that there was
+not one moment’s pause. But, to crown the joke, the landlord’s candle
+went out, and the combatants being left in the dark, such a circulation
+of blows ensued, that wheresoever the fist fell, there the patient was
+disabled.
+
+There chanced to lodge at the inn that night, a trooper belonging to the
+ancient holy brotherhood of Toledo, who also hearing the strange noise
+of this fray, arose, and seizing his tipstaff, together with the tin-box
+that contained his commission, entered the apartment in the dark,
+calling aloud—‘Keep the peace, in the king’s name; keep the peace, in
+the name of the holy brotherhood.’ The first he encountered was the
+forlorn Don Quixote, who lay insensible on his demolished bed, with his
+face uppermost; so that groping about, he happened to lay hold of his
+beard, and cried—‘Assist, I charge you, the officers of justice:’ but
+perceiving that the person he held neither stirred nor spoke, he
+concluded that he must be dead, and that the people within were the
+assassins. In this persuasion he raised his voice, crying—‘Shut the
+gates of the inn, that none may escape; for here is a man murdered.’
+This exclamation, which astonished them all, was no sooner heard, than
+every one quitted his share in the battle; the landlord retreated to his
+own chamber, the carrier sneaked to his panniers, and the damsel to her
+straw: while the unfortunate knight and squire were left on the spot,
+unable to move from the places where they lay. The trooper letting go
+the beard of Don Quixote, went out for a light to search for and
+apprehend the delinquents; but in this design he was disappointed; the
+landlord having purposely extinguished the lamp when he retired to his
+apartment; so that he was obliged to have recourse to the embers, at
+which, with great industry and time, he made shift to light another
+candle.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. III.
+ CONTAINING THE SEQUEL OF THOSE INCREDIBLE GRIEVANCES
+ WHICH THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE, AND HIS TRUSTY SQUIRE SANCHO PANZA,
+ UNDERWENT AT THE INN,
+ WHICH FOR THEIR MISFORTUNE THE KNIGHT MISTOOK FOR A CASTLE.
+
+
+About this time, Don Quixote recovering the use of his tongue, began to
+call in the same feeble tone with which he spoke the preceding day, when
+he lay stretched in the pack-staff valley—‘Art thou asleep, friend
+Sancho? friend Sancho, art thou asleep?’—‘God’s my life!’ replied
+Sancho, full of peevishness and pain, ‘how should I be asleep, seeing
+all the devils in hell have been upon me this whole night?’—‘That thou
+mayest assure thyself of,’ answered the knight: ‘for either I understand
+nothing at all, or this castle is inchanted. Thou must know, Sancho,
+(but what I am going to disclose to thee, thou shalt swear to keep
+secret till after my death.)’—‘I do swear,’ said Sancho. ‘This secrecy I
+insist upon,’ replied his master, ‘because I would by no means take away
+the reputation of any person.’—‘Well then,’ cried the squire, ‘I swear
+to keep it secret till the days of your worship be past and gone; and
+God grant that I may be at liberty to reveal it to-morrow.’—‘Have I done
+you so much mischief, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘that you wish to see
+me dead so soon?’—‘It is not for that,’ replied the squire, ‘but because
+I am an enemy to all secrets, and would not have any thing rot in my
+keeping.’—‘Be that as it may,’ said the knight, ‘I will trust greater
+things to thy love and fidelity. Know, therefore, that this very night I
+have been engaged in a most rare and wonderful adventure; which, that I
+may briefly relate, take notice, that a little while ago, I was visited
+by the constable’s daughter, than whom a more beautiful and gracious
+young lady is scarce to be found on this terraqueous globe. How shall I
+paint to thee the comeliness of her person? how delineate the acuteness
+of her understanding? or, how shall I describe those mysterious charms
+which, that I may preserve the fealty I have sworn to my own sovereign
+mistress Dulcinea del Toboso, I must pass over in sacred silence? I
+shall only tell thee, that Heaven itself was jealous of the happiness
+which fortune had put into my power; or, perhaps, which is more
+probable, this castle, as I have already observed, is inchanted: for,
+while I was engaged with her in a most delightful and amorous
+conversation, an unseen hand, belonging, doubtless, to the arm of some
+monstrous giant, descended, I know not whence, upon my jaws, leaving my
+whole face bathed in gore; and afterwards bruised me in such a manner,
+that I am infinitely worse than I was yesterday, when the carriers
+maltreated us, as thou knowest, for the excesses of Rozinante; from
+whence I conjecture, that the treasure of this fair damsel’s beauty is
+guarded by some inchanted Moor, and not destined for my
+possession.’—‘Nor for mine neither,’ cried Sancho; ‘for I have been
+drubbed by five hundred Moors, so unmercifully, that the pack-stave
+threshing was but cakes and gingerbread to what I now feel: so that I
+see no great cause you have to brag of that rare adventure, which has
+left us in this comfortable pickle. Indeed, your worship was not so
+badly off, because you had that same incomparable beauty in your arms;
+but what had I, except the hardest knocks, which, I hope, I shall ever
+feel in my born days? Cursed am I, and the mother that bore me; for
+though I neither am knight errant, nor ever design to be one, the
+greatest part of the mischief that betides us for ever falls to my
+share.’—‘It seems, then, thou hast suffered too,’ said Don Quixote. ‘Woe
+be unto me and my whole pedigree!’ cried Sancho; ‘have I not been
+telling you so all this time?’—‘Give thyself no concern about that
+matter,’ answered the knight; ‘for now I am determined to prepare that
+precious balsam, which will cure us both in the twinkling of an eye.’
+
+About this time the officer of the holy brotherhood, having made shift
+to light his candle, came back to examine the person whom he supposed
+murdered; and Sancho, seeing him approach in his shirt and woollen
+night-cap, with a very unfavourable aspect, and a light in his hand,
+said to his master, ‘Pray, Sir, is this the inchanted Moor returned to
+spend the last drop of his vengeance upon us[57]?’—‘That cannot be the
+Moor,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘for inchanters never suffer themselves to
+be seen.’—‘If they won’t allow themselves to be seen,’ cried the squire,
+‘they make no bones of letting themselves be felt; that my shoulders can
+testify.’—‘And mine too,’ said the knight; ‘but we have no sufficient
+reason to believe that he whom we now see is the inchanted Moor.’
+
+Meanwhile, the trooper drawing near, and hearing them talk so
+deliberately, remained some time in suspence; then observing Don
+Quixote, who still lay on his back, unable to stir, on account of his
+bruises and plaisters, he went up to him, saying, ‘How do’st do, honest
+friend?’—‘I would speak more submissively,’ answered the knight, ‘were I
+such a plebeian as you. Is that the language used in this country to
+knights-errant, you blockhead?’ The officer finding himself treated with
+so little ceremony, by such a miserable wight, could not bear the
+reproach, but lifting up his lamp, oil and all, discharged it upon Don
+Quixote’s pate, which suffered greatly in the encounter; and the light
+being again extinguished, slipped away in the dark. Things being in this
+situation, ‘Sir,’ said Sancho Panza, ‘without doubt, that was the
+inchanted Moor, who keeps the treasure for other people, and the
+fisty-cuffs and lamp-leavings for us.’—‘It must be so,’ replied the
+knight; ‘but we must not mind those affairs of inchantment so much, as
+to let them ruffle or inflame us; because, they being invisible and
+fantastical, do what we can we shall never be able to take vengeance
+upon the authors of them: get up, therefore, Sancho, if thou canst, and
+desire the constable of this castle to supply me with some oil, wine,
+salt, and rosemary; that I may prepare the salutiferous balsam, which,
+really, I believe, I stand in great need of at present, for the wound
+which the phantom hath given me bleeds apace.’
+
+Accordingly the squire made shift to rise, notwithstanding the
+intolerable aching of his bones; and creeping in the dark towards the
+innkeeper’s bed-chamber, happened to meet with the trooper, who stood
+listening, to know the intention of his adversary. ‘Signior,’ cried he,
+‘whosoever you are, do us the benefit and favour to assist us with some
+rosemary, salt, wine, and oil; in order to cure one of the most mighty
+knights errant upon earth, who lies in that bed, desperately wounded by
+the hands of an inchanted Moor that frequents this inn.’ The officer,
+hearing such an address, concluded that the man had lost his senses; and
+it being by this time dawn, opened the inn-gate, and calling to the
+landlord, told him what this honest man wanted. The innkeeper having
+provided Sancho with the ingredients, he immediately carried them to his
+master; who lay holding his head between his two hands, and complaining
+very much of the effect of the lamp; which, however, had done no farther
+damage than that of raising a couple of large tumours upon his pate;
+that which he took for blood being no other than sweat forced out by the
+anguish and pain he had undergone. In short, he made a composition, by
+mixing the materials together, and boiling them a good while, until he
+found he had brought the whole to a due consistence: then he asked for a
+phial to contain the balsam; but as there was none in the house, he
+resolved to cork it up in a tin oil-flask, of which the landlord made
+him a present. Which being done, he repeated over it more than fourscore
+pater-nosters, with the like number of ave-maria’s, salve’s and credo’s,
+accompanying every word with the sign of the cross, by way of
+benediction: and this whole ceremony was performed in presence of
+Sancho, the innkeeper, and officer; the carrier having very quietly gone
+to take care of his beasts.
+
+This precious balsam being thus composed, the knight was determined to
+make instant trial of the efficacy with which he imagined it endued; and
+accordingly swallowed about a pint and a half of what remained in the
+pot, after the oil-flask was full; which had scarce got down his throat,
+when he began to vomit in such a manner, as left nothing in his stomach;
+and a most copious sweat breaking out upon him, in consequence of the
+violent operation, he desired they would wrap him up warm, and leave him
+to his repose. They complied with his request, and he fell into a
+profound sleep that lasted three hours; at the end of which awaking, he
+found himself exceedingly refreshed, and so well recovered of his
+bruises, that he seemed perfectly well; and implicitly believed that he
+had now made sure of the balsam of Fierabras; which, while he possessed,
+he might, with the utmost confidence and safety, engage in the most
+perilous quarrels, combats, and havock, that could possibly happen.
+
+Sancho Panza seeing his master recovered to a miracle, begged he would
+bestow upon him the sediment of the pot, which was no small quantity:
+and his request being granted, he laid hold of it with both hands, and
+setting it to his head, drank off, with strong faith and eager
+inclination, almost as much as his master had swallowed before. But the
+poor squire’s stomach chanced to be not quite so delicate as that of the
+knight; and therefore, before he could discharge a drop, he suffered
+such pangs and reachings, such qualms and cold sweats, that he verily
+believed his last hour was come; and in the midst of his wamblings and
+affliction cursed the balsam and the miscreant that made it. Don Quixote
+perceiving his situation, said, ‘I believe that all this mischief
+happens to thee, Sancho, because thou art not a knight; for I am
+persuaded, that this liquor will be of service to none but such as are
+of the order of knighthood.’—‘If your worship knew so much,’ cried
+Sancho, ‘woe be unto me and my whole generation! why did you allow me to
+taste it?’ At this instant the potion began to operate, and the poor
+squire to unload at both ends with such fury, that the mat upon which he
+had thrown himself, and the sheet that covered him, were soon in a
+woeful pickle: he sweated and shivered with such violent motions and
+fits, that not only he himself, but every body present, thought he would
+have given up the ghost.
+
+This tempest of evacuation lasted near two hours; at the expiration of
+which, he found himself far from being relieved like his master, but, on
+the contrary, so much fatigued that he was not able to stand. The
+knight, as we have already observed, finding himself in good health and
+excellent spirits, longed fervently to depart in quest of adventures,
+thinking every minute he spent in that place was an injury to the world
+in general, and to those miserable objects who wanted his favour and
+protection; especially as he was now in possession of the certain means
+of safety and confidence, in that efficacious balsam he had made.
+Prompted by these suggestions, he himself saddled Rozinante, and with
+his own hands put the pannel upon the beast of the squire, whom he also
+assisted in getting on his cloaths, and mounting his ass. He then
+bestrode his own steed; and laying hold of a pitchfork that stood in the
+corner of the yard, appropriated it to the use of a lance; while all the
+people in the house, exceeding twenty persons, beheld him with
+admiration: the landlord’s daughter being among the spectators, he fixed
+his eyes upon her, and from time to time uttered a profound sigh, which
+seemed to be heaved from the very bottom of his bowels; and which, in
+the opinion of all those who had seen him anointed over night, was
+occasioned by the aching of his bones.
+
+He and his squire being by this time mounted, he halted at the gate, and
+calling to the innkeeper, pronounced, in a grave and solemn tone,
+‘Numerous and mighty are the favours, Sir Constable, which I have
+received in this castle of yours; and I shall think myself under the
+highest obligation to retain a grateful remembrance of your courtesy all
+the days of my life. If I can make you any return, in taking vengeance
+on some insolent adversary, who hath, perhaps, aggrieved you; know, that
+it is my province and profession to assist the helpless, avenge the
+injured, and chastise the false: recollect, therefore; and if you have
+any boon of that sort to ask, speak the word; I promise, by the order of
+knighthood which I have received, that you shall be righted and
+redressed to your heart’s content.’—‘Sir knight,’ replied the innkeeper,
+with the same deliberation, ‘I have no occasion for your worship’s
+assistance, to redress any grievance of mine; for I know how to revenge
+my own wrongs when I suffer any: all I desire is, that you will pay the
+score you have run up in this inn, for provender to your cattle, and
+food and lodging to yourself and servant.’—‘It seems, then, this is an
+inn,’ answered the knight. ‘Aye, and a well-respected one,’ said the
+landlord. ‘I have been in a mistake all this time,’ resumed Don Quixote,
+‘for I really thought it was a castle; and that none of the meanest
+neither: but since it is no other than a house of publick entertainment,
+you have nothing to do but excuse me from paying a farthing; for I can
+by no means transgress the custom of knights-errant, who, I am sure, as
+having read nothing to the contrary[58], never paid for lodging nor any
+thing else, in any inn or house whatsoever, because they had a right and
+title to the best of entertainment, in recompence for the intolerable
+sufferings they underwent, in seeking adventures by night and by day, in
+winter as well as summer, on foot and on horseback, exposed to hunger
+and thirst, to heat and cold, and to all the inclemencies of heaven, as
+well as the inconveniencies of earth.’—‘All this is nothing to my
+purpose,’ said the innkeeper; ‘pay me what you owe, and save all your
+idle tales of knight-errantry for those who will be amused with them;
+for my own part, I mind no tale but that of the money I take.’—‘You are
+a saucy publican, and a blockhead to boot,’ cried Don Quixote; who,
+putting spurs to Rozinante, and brandishing his pitchfork, sallied out
+of the inn without opposition; and was a good way off before he looked
+behind to see if he was followed by his squire.
+
+The landlord, seeing the knight depart without paying, ran up to seize
+Sancho; who told him, that since his master had refused to discharge the
+bill, he must not expect any money from him, who being the squire of a
+knight-errant, was, as well as his master, bound by the same laws to pay
+for nothing in taverns and inns. The publican, irritated at this answer,
+threatened, if he would not pay him, to indemnify himself in a manner
+that should not be so much to the squire’s liking: but Panza swore by
+the laws of chivalry his master professed, that he would not pay a doit,
+though it should cost him his life; for he was resolved that the
+honourable and ancient customs of knight-errantry should not be lost
+through his misbehaviour; neither should those squires, who were to come
+into the world after him, have occasion to complain of his conduct, or
+reproach him with the breach of so just a privilege.
+
+[Illustration: Sancho Being Tossed.]
+
+As the unfortunate Sancho’s evil genius would have it, there were among
+the company that lodged that night in the house, four clothiers of
+Segovia, three pin-makers from the great square of Cordova, and a couple
+of shopkeepers from the market-place of Seville; all of them brisk jolly
+fellows, and mischievous wags. These companions, as if they had been
+inspired and instigated by the same spirit, came up to the squire, and
+pulled him from his ass; then, one of them fetching a blanket from the
+landlord’s bed, they put Sancho into it, and lifting up their eyes,
+perceived the roof was too low for their purpose; therefore determined
+to carry him out into the yard, which had no other ceiling than the sky:
+there placing Panza in the middle of the blanket, they began to toss him
+on high, and divert themselves with his capers, as the mob do with dogs
+at Shrove-tide. The cries uttered by this miserable vaulter, were so
+piercing as to reach the ears of his master, who halting to listen the
+more attentively, believed that some new adventure was approaching,
+until he clearly recognized the shrieks of his squire: he immediately
+turned his horse, and with infinite straining, made shift to gallop back
+to the inn; but finding the gate shut, rode round in search of some
+other entrance; and when he approached the yard-wall, which was not very
+high, perceived the disagreeable joke they were practising upon his
+squire, who rose in the air, and sunk again with such grace and
+celerity, that if his indignation would have allowed him, I verily
+believe the knight himself would have laughed at the occasion. He
+attempted to step from his horse upon the wall, but was so bruised and
+battered, that he could not move from his seat; and therefore, situated
+as he was, began to vent such a torrent of reproachful and opprobrious
+language against Sancho’s executioners, that it is impossible to repeat
+the half of what he said. This, however, neither interrupted their mirth
+nor their diversion, nor gave the least truce to the lamentations of
+Sancho, who prayed and threatened by turns, as he flew. Indeed, nothing
+of this sort either could or did avail him, until leaving off, out of
+pure weariness, they thought fit to wrap him up in his great coat, and
+set him on his ass again. The compassionate Maritornes seeing him so
+much fatigued, thought he would be the better for a draught of water,
+which, that it might be the cooler, she fetched from the well; and
+Sancho had just put the mug to his lips, when his draught was retarded
+by the voice of his master, who cried aloud, ‘Son Sancho, drink not
+water, drink not that which will be the occasion of thy death, my son;
+behold this most sacred balsam,’ holding up the cruse of potion in his
+hand, ‘two drops of which will effectually cure thee.’ At these words
+the squire eyed him, as it were, askance, and in a tone still more
+vociferous, replied, ‘Perchance your worship has forgot that I am no
+knight; or may be, you want to see me vomit up all the entrails I have
+left, after last night’s quandary. Keep your liquor for yourself, and
+may all the devils in hell give you joy of it; and leave me to my own
+discretion!’ He had no sooner pronounced these words than he began to
+swallow; and perceiving at the first draught, that the cordial was no
+other than water, he did not chuse to repeat it; but desired Maritornes
+to bring him some wine. This request she complied with very chearfully,
+and paid for it with her own money; for it was reported of her, that
+although she was reduced to that low degree in life, she actually
+retained some faint sketches and shadows of the Christian.
+
+Sancho having finished his draught, clapped heels to his ass, and the
+inn-gate being thrown wide open, sallied forth very well satisfied with
+having got off without paying any thing, although he had succeeded at
+the expence of his shoulders, which were indeed his usual sureties. True
+it is, the landlord had detained his bags for the reckoning; but these
+Sancho did not miss in the confusion of his retreat. As soon as he was
+clear of the house, the innkeeper would have barricadoed the gate, had
+he not been prevented by the blanket companions, who were of that sort
+of people, who would not have valued Don Quixote a farthing, even if he
+had been actually one of the knights of the round-table.
+
+Footnote 57:
+
+ Literally, what is left in the bottom of his inkhorn.
+
+Footnote 58:
+
+ Don Quixote seems in this place to have forgot one adventure of his
+ great pattern, Orlando, who, while he accompanied Angelica in her
+ flight from Albracca, happened to intrude upon the king of the
+ Lestrigons as he sat at dinner in a valley; and being in great want of
+ victuals, accosted his most savage majesty in these words, recorded by
+ Boyardo, or rather Berni, in his poem intitled Orlando Innamorato.
+
+ _Poichè fortuna a quest’ora ne mena_
+ _Da voi, vi prego, che non vi despiaccia,_
+ _O pe nostri danari o in cortesia,_
+ _Che noi cenium con voi di compagnia._
+
+ Thus humbly requesting, that he would either for love or money give
+ them a bone to pick.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IV.
+ IN WHICH IS RECOUNTED THE DISCOURSE
+ THAT PASSED BETWEEN SANCHO PANZA AND HIS MASTER DON QUIXOTE;
+ WITH OTHER ADVENTURES WORTHY OF RECORD.
+
+
+Sancho made shift to overtake his master, so haggard and dismayed, that
+he was scarce able to manage his beast: and when the knight perceived
+his melancholy situation, ‘Honest Sancho,’ said he, ‘I am now convinced
+beyond all doubt, that this castle or inn is inchanted; for those who
+made such a barbarous pastime of thy sufferings, could be no other than
+phantoms and beings belonging to the other world. I am confirmed in this
+opinion, from having found, that while I was by the wall of the yard, a
+spectator of the acts of thy mournful tragedy, I could neither climb
+over to thy assistance, nor indeed move from Rozinante, but was fixed in
+the saddle by the power of inchantment; for I swear to thee, by the
+faith of my character! if I could have alighted from my steed, and
+surmounted the wall, I would have revenged thy wrongs in such a manner,
+that those idle miscreants should have remembered the jest to their
+dying day: although I know, that in so doing, I should have transgressed
+the laws of chivalry, which, I have often told thee, do not allow a
+knight to lift his arm against any person of an inferior degree, except
+in defence of his own life and limbs, or in cases of the most pressing
+necessity.’—‘So would I have revenged myself,’ said Sancho, ‘knighted or
+not knighted; but it was not in my power; though I am very well
+satisfied that those who diverted themselves at my cost were no
+phantoms, nor inchanted beings, as your worship imagines, but men made
+of flesh and bones, as we are, and all of them have Christian names,
+which I heard repeated, while they tossed me in the blanket; one, for
+example, is called Pedro Martinez, another Tenorio Harnandez, and the
+innkeeper goes by the name of Juan Palameque the left-handed; and
+therefore, Signior, your being disabled from alighting and getting over
+the wall, must have been owing to something else than inchantment. What
+I can clearly discern from the whole is, that these adventures we go in
+search of, will, at the long run, bring us into such misventures, that
+we shall not know our right hands from our left; and therefore, in my
+small judgment, the best and wholesomest thing we can do, will be to jog
+back again to our own habitation now, while the harvest is going on, to
+take care of our crops, and leave off sauntering from post to
+pillar[59], and falling out of the frying-pan into the fire, as the
+saying is.’
+
+‘How little art thou acquainted, Sancho,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘with the
+pretensions of chivalry! hold thy tongue and have patience; for the day
+will soon arrive on which thy own eyes shall judge what an honourable
+profession it is: pray, tell me, now, what greater satisfaction can
+there be in this world, or what pleasure can equal that of a conqueror,
+who triumphs over his adversary in battle? None, sure!’—‘That may be,’
+answered the squire, ‘though I know nothing of the matter. This only I
+know, that since we have taken up the trade of knights-errant, your
+worship I mean, for as to my own part I have no manner of title to be
+reckoned in such an honourable list, we have not gained one battle,
+except that with the Biscayan; and even there your worship came off with
+half an ear, and the loss of one side of your helmet: from that day to
+this good hour, our lot hath been nothing but cudgelling upon
+cudgelling, pummelling upon pummelling; except the advantage I have had
+over your worship, in being tossed in a blanket by inchanted Moors, whom
+I cannot be revenged of, in order to know how pleasant a pastime it is
+to overcome one’s enemy, as your worship observes.’—‘That is the very
+grievance, Sancho, under which both you and I labour,’ said Don Quixote:
+‘but, for the future, I will endeavour to procure a sword tempered with
+such masterly skill, that he who wears it shall be subject to no kind of
+inchantment; and who knows but accident may furnish me with that which
+Amadis possessed, when he stiled himself the knight of the flaming
+sword; and truly it was one of the most excellent blades that ever a
+warrior unsheathed; for, besides that sovereign virtue it contained, it
+cut keen as a razor, and no armour, though ever so strong or inchanted,
+could stand before its edge.’—‘I am so devilishly lucky,’ said Sancho,
+‘that if the case was really so, and your worship should light on that
+same sword, it would, like the precious balsam, be of no service or
+security to any but your true knights; and we that are squires might
+sing for sorrow.’—‘Thou must not be afraid of that,’ replied the knight;
+‘Heaven will surely deal more mercifully with thee.’
+
+In such conversation, Don Quixote and his squire jogged along, when the
+former descrying on the road in which they travelled, a large and thick
+cloud of dust rolling towards them, turned to Sancho, saying, ‘This, O
+Sancho, is the day that shall manifest the great things which fortune
+hath in store for me! This, I say, is the day on which the valour of
+this arm shall be displayed as much as upon any other occasion; and on
+which I am resolved to perform deeds that shall remain engraven on the
+leaves of fame to all posterity! Seest thou that cloud of dust before
+us? The whole of it is raised by a vast army, composed of various and
+innumerable nations that are marching this way.’—‘By that way of
+reckoning, there must be two,’ said Sancho, ‘for right over against it
+there is just such another.’ Don Quixote immediately turned his eyes,
+and perceiving Sancho’s information to be true, was rejoiced beyond
+measure; firmly believing that what he saw were two armies in full march
+to attack each other, and engage in the middle of that spacious plain;
+for every hour and minute of the day his imagination was engrossed by
+those battles, inchantments, dreadful accidents, extravagant amours, and
+rhodomontades, which are recorded in books of chivalry; and indeed every
+thing he thought, said, or did, had a tendency that way.
+
+As for the dust he now saw, it was raised by two flocks of sheep which
+chanced to be driven from different parts into the same road, and were
+so much involved in this cloud of their own making, that it was
+impossible to discern them until they were very near. The knight
+affirmed they were armies with such assurance, that Sancho actually
+believed it, and said to his master, ‘And pray now, good your worship,
+what must we do?’—‘What,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘but assist and support
+that side which is weak and discomfited? Thou must know, Sancho, that
+yonder host which fronts us, is led and commanded by the mighty Emperor
+Alifanfaron, sovereign of the great island of Trapoban; and that other
+behind us belongs to his mortal enemy the king of the Garamanteans,
+known by the name Pentapolin with the naked arm, because he always goes
+to battle with the sleeve of his right-arm tucked up.’—‘But why are
+those chieftains so mischievously inclined towards each other?’ said
+Sancho. ‘The cause of their enmity,’ replied the knight, ‘is this:
+Alifanfaron, who is a most outrageous Pagan, is enamoured of
+Pentapolin’s daughter, a most beautiful and courteous lady, who being a
+Christian, her father will by no means betroth her to the infidel
+prince, unless he shall first renounce the law of his false prophet
+Mahomet, and become a convert to the true faith.’—‘Now, by my whiskers!’
+cried Sancho, ‘King Pentapolin is an honest man, and I am resolved to
+give him all the assistance in my power.’—‘In so doing thou wilt perform
+thy duty, Sancho,’ said his master; ‘for to engage in such battles as
+these, it is not necessary to be dubbed a knight.’—‘That I can easily
+comprehend,’ replied the other; ‘but where shall we secure the ass, that
+we may be sure of finding him after the fray is over; for I believe it
+is not the fashion now-a-days, to go to battle on such a beast.’—‘True,’
+said the knight, ‘and I think the best way will be to leave him to his
+chance, whether he be lost or not; for we shall have such choice of
+steeds, when once we have gained the victory, that Rozinante himself
+will run some risk of being exchanged for another: but observe and
+listen attentively; I will now give thee a detail of the principal
+knights that serve in these two armies; and that thou may’st see and
+mark them the better, let us retire to yon rising ground, from whence we
+can distinctly view the line of battle in both.’ They accordingly placed
+themselves upon a hillock, whence they could easily have discerned the
+two flocks of sheep which Don Quixote metamorphosed into armies, had not
+the dust they raised confounded and obscured the view; but nevertheless,
+beholding in his imagination that which could not otherwise be seen,
+because it did not exist, he began to pronounce with an audible voice—
+
+‘That knight whom thou seest with yellow armour, bearing in his shield a
+lion crowned and crouching at the feet of a young lady, is the gallant
+Laucalco, lord of the silver bridge; that other beside him, who wears
+armour powdered with flowers of gold, and bears for his device three
+crowns argent in a field azure, is the amorous Micocolembo, Grand Duke
+of Quiracia; and he upon his right-hand, with those gigantick limbs, is
+the never to be daunted Brandabarbaran de Boliche, sovereign of the
+three Arabias, who comes armed with a serpent’s skin, and, instead of a
+shield, brandishes a huge gate, which, it is said, belonged to the
+temple that Samson overthrew, when he avenged himself of his enemies at
+his death; but turn thine eyes, and behold in the front of this other
+army, the ever-conquering and never-conquered Timonel de Carcajona,
+prince of New-Biscay, whose arms are quartered azure, vert, argent, and
+or; and the device in his shield, a cat or, in a field gules, with the
+letters Miau, which constitute the beginning of his lady’s name; and
+she, they say, is the peerless Miaulina, daughter of Alfeniquen, Duke of
+Algarve; the other who loads and oppresses the loins of that fiery
+Arabian steed, with armour white as snow, and a shield without a device,
+is a noviciate knight of the French nation, called Pierre Papin, Baron
+of Utrique; the third, who strikes his iron rowels into the flanks of
+that spotted nimble zebra[60], is the potent Duke of Nerbia,
+esparta-filardo of the wood, who bears in his shield for a device, a
+bunch of asparagus, with an inscription signifying, “By destiny I am
+dogged.”’
+
+In this manner did he invent names for a great many knights in either
+army, to all of whom also he gave arms, colours, mottos, and devices,
+without the least hesitation, being incredibly inspired by the fumes of
+a distempered fancy; nay, he proceeded without any pause, saying, ‘That
+squadron forming in our front is composed of people of divers nations:
+there be those who drink the delicious waters of the celebrated Xanthus,
+with the mountaineers who tread the Masilican plains: and those who sift
+the purest golden ore of Arabia Felix; there also may be seen the people
+who sport upon the cool and famous banks of the translucent Thermodonte;
+and those who conduct the yellow Pactolus in many a winding stream; the
+promise-breaking Numidians; the Persians for their archery renowned; the
+Parthians and the Medes who combat as they fly; the Arabians famed for
+shifting habitations; the Scythians cruel as they are fair; the
+thick-lipped race of Ethiopia; and an infinite variety of other nations,
+whose looks I know, and can discern, though I cannot recollect their
+names. In that other squadron march those men who lave in the crystal
+current of the olive-bearing Betis; those whose visages are cleaned and
+polished with the limpid wave of the ever rich and golden Tagus; those
+who delight in the salutiferous draughts of Genil the divine; those who
+scour the Tartesian fields that with fat pasture teem; those who make
+merry in the Elysian meads of Herezan; the rich Manchegans crowned with
+ruddy ears of corn; those cloathed in steel the bold remains of ancient
+Gothick blood; those who bathe in Pisuerga, famous for its gentle
+current; those who feed their flocks upon the spacious meads of the
+meandring Guadiana, celebrated for its secret course; those who shiver
+with the chill blasts of the woody Pyrenees; and those who feel the
+snowy flakes of lofty Appenine: in fine, whatever nation Europe imbosoms
+and contains.’
+
+Heaven preserve us! what provinces did he mention! what nations did he
+name! bestowing, with wonderful facility, those attributes that belonged
+to each; being all the while absorpt, and, as it were, immersed in the
+contents of his deceitful books. Sancho Panza listened attentively to
+his master, without uttering one syllable; and from time to time turned
+his eyes from one side to another to see if he could discern those
+knights and giants who were thus described: but not being able to
+discover one of them, ‘Sir,’ said he, ‘your worship may say what you
+please, but the devil a man, giant, or knight, that you have mentioned,
+is there; at least I can see none: perhaps, indeed, the whole is
+inchantment, like the phantoms of last night.’—‘How say’st thou?’
+replied Don Quixote, ‘dost thou not hear the neighing of steeds, the
+sound of clarions, and noise of drums?’—‘I hear nothing,’ answered
+Sancho, ‘but abundance of bleating of ewes and lambs.’ And truly that
+was the case; for by this time the two flocks were pretty near them.
+‘Thy fear,’ said Don Quixote, ‘hinders thee from seeing and hearing
+aright: for one effect of terror is to disturb the senses, and make
+objects appear otherwise than they are; if thou art therefore under such
+consternation, retire on one side, and leave me alone; for I myself am
+sufficient to bestow victory on that cause which I espouse.’ So saying,
+he clapped spurs to Rozinante, and putting his lance in the rest, darted
+down from the hillock like lightning. In vain did Sancho bellow forth,
+‘Turn, Signior Don Quixote: good your worship, turn! so help me God,
+those are ewes and lambs you are going to attack! Woe be to the father
+that begat me! Will you not turn? What madness possesses you! Consider,
+here are no giants, nor knights, nor cats, nor arms, nor shields
+quartered or whole, nor inverted azures, and the devils knows what: was
+there ever such distraction? sinner that I am!’
+
+[Illustration: Don Quixote Valiantly Charging the Herd of Sheep.]
+
+The knight, however, did not regard this exclamation: on the contrary,
+he rode on, bauling aloud, ‘So ho, knights! you that attend and serve
+under the banners of the valiant Emperor Pentapolin, with the naked arm,
+follow me in a body, and you shall behold how easily I will avenge him,
+on his adversary Alifanfaron, of Trapoban.’ Having uttered these words,
+he rushed into the thickest of the squadron of sheep, and began to lay
+about him, with as much eagerness and fury, as if he had been actually
+engaged with his mortal enemies. The herdsmen and shepherds who were
+driving the flock, called to him to forbear; but finding their
+admonition had no effect, they ungirded their slings, and began to
+salute his ears with stones, the least of which was as large as an
+ordinary fist; but he, far from minding their missiles, rode about the
+field, crying, ‘Where art thou, proud Alifanfaron? face me if thou
+darest; I am but a single knight, who want to prove thy prowess hand to
+hand, and sacrifice thy life for the injury thou hast done to Pentapolin
+Garamanta.’ Just as he pronounced these words, he received a pebble on
+his side, that seemed to have buried a couple of his ribs in his belly;
+and gave him such a rude shock, that he believed himself either dead or
+desperately wounded; then remembering his specifick, he pulled out the
+cruse, and setting it to his mouth, began to swallow the balsam; but
+before he had drank what he thought a sufficient dose, there came
+another such almond, so plump upon his hand and cruse, that after having
+shivered the pot to pieces, it carried off in its way three or four of
+his grinders, and shattered two of his fingers in a grievous manner: in
+short, so irresistible were both the applications, that the poor knight
+could not help tumbling from his horse. The shepherds immediately came
+up, and believing him actually dead, gathered together their flock with
+all imaginable dispatch; and taking their dead, which might be about
+seven in number, upon their shoulders, made off without any farther
+inquiry.
+
+All this time Sancho remained upon the hill, beholding, with amazement,
+the madness of his master, tearing his beard, and cursing the hour and
+minute on which it was his fate to know him: and now seeing him fallen,
+and the shepherds gone, he descended to his assistance, when finding him
+still sensible, though in a miserable situation, ‘Did not I warn you,
+Signior Don Quixote,’ said he, ‘to turn; and assure you that those you
+went to attack were no armies, but flocks of innocent sheep?’—‘How
+strangely can that miscreant inchanter, who is my enemy, transmography
+things to thwart me? Know, Sancho, that it is a very easy matter for
+necromancers to make us assume what shapes they please; and the
+malicious wretch who persecutes me, envying the glory I should have
+gained in this battle, hath doubtless metamorphosed the squadrons of the
+foe into flocks of sheep: but thou shalt do one thing, I intreat thee,
+Sancho, in order to be undeceived and convinced of the truth; mount thy
+ass, and follow them fair and softly; and when they are at a convenient
+distance from hence, thou wilt see them return to their former shapes,
+and ceasing to be sheep, become men again, right and tight as I at first
+described them; but do not go at present, for I have occasion for thy
+service and assistance: come hither, and see how many teeth I have lost;
+methinks there is not one left in my whole jaw.’
+
+Sancho accordingly approached so near as to trust his eyes into his
+master’s mouth, just at the time when the balsam began to operate in his
+stomach, which, with the force of a culverin, discharged its contents
+full in the beard of the compassionate squire. ‘Holy Virgin!’ cried
+Sancho, ‘what is this that hath befallen me? Without doubt, this poor
+sinner is mortally wounded, since he vomits blood.’ But considering the
+case more maturely, he found by the colour, taste, and smell, that it
+was not blood, but the balsam he had seen him drink: and such was the
+loathing he conceived at this recognition, that his stomach turned, and
+he emptied his bowels upon his master; so that both of them remained in
+a handsome pickle. Sancho ran to his ass, for a towel to clean them, and
+some application for his master’s hurt; but when he missed his bags, he
+had well-nigh lost his senses; he cursed his fate again, and determined
+with himself to leave the knight, and return to his habitation, even
+though he should lose his wages for the time he had already served, as
+well as his hopes of governing the Island of Promise.
+
+At this juncture Don Quixote arose, and clapping his left-hand to his
+cheek, in order to prevent his teeth from falling out, with the right
+laid hold of the bridle of Rozinante; who, like a faithful and
+affectionate servant, had never stirred from his master’s side; and went
+up to the place where his squire stood, leaning upon his ass, with one
+hand applied to his jaw, in the posture of a person who is exceedingly
+pensive; the knight perceiving him in this situation, with manifest
+signs of melancholy in his countenance, ‘Know Sancho,’ said he, ‘that
+one man is no more than another, unless he can do more than another. All
+those hurricanes that have happened to us prognosticate that we soon
+shall have fair weather, and that every thing will succeed to our wish:
+for it is impossible that either good or bad fortune should be eternal;
+and therefore it follows, that our adversity having lasted so long, our
+prosperity must be now at hand. Be not grieved then, at the misfortunes
+that happen to me, since no part of them falls to thy share.’—‘Not to my
+share!’ answered Sancho; ‘mayhap, then, he whom they tossed in the
+blanket yesterday was not the son of my father; and the bags that are
+lost to-day, with all the goods in them, belonged to some other
+person.’—‘What, hast thou lost the bags, Sancho!’ cried Don Quixote.
+‘Yes, sure,’ said the other. ‘At that rate, then, we have no victuals to
+eat?’ resumed the knight. ‘That would certainly be the case,’ answered
+the squire, ‘if the meadows did not furnish those herbs you say you know
+with which unfortunate knights like your worship are wont to make up
+such losses.’—‘Yes, but for all that,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘I could at
+present relish a luncheon of brown bread, or a loaf, with a couple of
+red herrings, better than all the herbs described by Dioscorides, even
+with the annotations of Doctor Laguna; but, nevertheless, mount thy
+beast, honest Sancho, and follow me. God, who provides all things, will
+not be wanting to us; more especially as we are employed in his
+immediate service: he faileth not to provide for the gnats of the air,
+the insects of the earth, the spawn of the sea; and is so beneficent, as
+to cause the sun to shine upon the good and bad, and sendeth rain to the
+wicked as well as the righteous.’—‘Your worship,’ said Sancho, ‘is more
+fit to be a preacher than a knight-errant.’—‘Knights-errant,’ replied
+his master, ‘ever had, and ought to have, some knowledge of every thing;
+nay, some there have been in times past, who would stop to make a sermon
+or discourse upon the highway, with as much eloquence as if they had
+taken their degrees at the university of Paris: from whence it maybe
+inferred, that the lance was never blunted by the pen, nor the quill
+impeded by the lance.’—‘What your worship observes may be very true,’
+said Sancho; ‘but, in the mean time, let us leave this place, and
+endeavour to get a night’s lodging in some house or other, where, God
+grant there may be neither blankets nor blanketeers, nor phantoms, nor
+inchanted Moors; else, may the devil confound both hook and crook!’
+
+‘Implore the protection of God, my son,’ answered the knight, ‘and lead
+me where thou wilt: for this once, I leave our lodging to thy care; but
+reach hither thy hand, and feel with thy finger how many teeth I have
+lost on this right side of my upper jaw, which is the place that gives
+me the greatest pain.’ Sancho introduced his fingers, and having
+carefully examined his gums. ‘How many teeth,’ said he, was your worship
+wont to have in this place?’—‘Four, besides the dog-tooth,’ answered Don
+Quixote, ‘all of them sound and whole.’—‘Consider what your worship
+says,’ replied Sancho. ‘I say, four, if not five,’ resumed the knight;
+‘for, in all my life, I never lost tooth or fang, either by worm, rheum,
+or scurvy.’—‘At present,’ said the squire, ‘in that part of the lower
+jaw, your worship has but two grinders and a half; and above, neither
+half nor whole; all is smooth as the palm of my hand.’—‘Cruel fortune!’
+cried Don Quixote, hearing this melancholy piece of news; ‘would they
+had rather demolished a limb, so it had not been the sword-arm: for I
+would have thee to know, Sancho, that a mouth without grinders, is like
+a mill without a milstone; and a tooth is worth a treasure[61]; but such
+mischances always attend us who profess the strict order of chivalry.
+Get up, friend, and lead the way, and I will follow at thy own pace.’
+Sancho complied with his desire, and took the way that seemed most
+likely to lead to some accommodation, without quitting the high road,
+which was thereabouts very much frequented. While they jogged on softly,
+because the pain in Don Quixote’s jaws would not suffer him to be quiet,
+or exert himself in pushing forward, Sancho being desirous of
+entertaining and diverting him with his discourse, said, among other
+things, what will be rehearsed in the following chapter.
+
+Footnote 59:
+
+ In the original, from Ceca to Mecca; a phrase derived from the customs
+ of the Moors, who used to go in pilgrimage to these two places. Ceca
+ was in the city of Cordova.
+
+Footnote 60:
+
+ Zebra is a beautiful creature, native of Arabia, vulgarly called the
+ wild ass.
+
+Footnote 61:
+
+ I have endeavoured to preserve an alliteration in tooth and treasure,
+ after the example of Cervantes, who seems to have intended it, in the
+ words _diente_ and _diamante_.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. V.
+ AN ACCOUNT OF THE SAGE DISCOURSE THAT PASSED BETWEEN SANCHO AND HIS
+ MASTER—THE SUCCEEDING ADVENTURE OF THE CORPSE—WITH OTHER REMARKABLE
+ EVENTS.
+
+
+‘In my opinion, my good master, all the misventures, which have this day
+happened to us, are designed as a punishment for the sins committed by
+your worship, in neglecting to fulfil the oath you took, not to eat off
+a table-cloth, nor solace yourself with the queen; together with all the
+rest that follows, which your worship swore to observe, until such time
+as you could carry off that helmet of Malandrino, or how d’ye call the
+Moor? for I don’t remember his right name.’—‘Thou art very much in the
+right,’ said Don Quixote: ‘to deal ingenuously with thee, Sancho, that
+affair had actually slipt out of my remembrance; and thou mayest depend
+upon it, that affair of the blanketing happened to thee, for the fault
+thou wast guilty of, in omitting to put me in mind of it in time: but I
+will make an atonement; for there are methods for compounding every
+thing, in the order of chivalry.’—‘Did I swear any thing?’ replied
+Sancho. ‘Your not having sworn is of no importance,’ said Don Quixote;
+‘it is enough that I know you to be concerned as an accessary; and
+whether that be the case or not, it will not be amiss to provide a
+remedy.’—‘Well, then,’ replied the squire, ‘I hope your worship will not
+forget this, as you did the oath: perhaps the phantoms may take it in
+their heads again to divert themselves with me, and even with your
+worship, if they find you obstinate.’
+
+In this and other such discourse, night overtook them in the midst of
+their journey, before they could light on or discover any house where
+they could procure lodging; and what was worse, they were almost
+famished; for in their bags they had lost their whole buttery and
+provision: nay, to crown their misfortune, an adventure happened to
+them, that, without any exaggeration, might have actually passed for
+something preternatural. Though the night shut in very dark, they
+continued travelling; Sancho believing, that, as they were in the king’s
+highway, they should probably find an inn at the distance of a league or
+two.
+
+Jogging on, therefore, under cloud of night, the squire exceeding
+hungry, and the master very well disposed to eat, they descried upon the
+road before them a vast number of lights, that seemed like moving stars,
+approaching them. Sancho was confounded at the sight, the meaning of
+which even Don Quixote could not comprehend: the one checked his ass,
+the other pulled in his horse’s bridle, and both halted, in order to
+gaze attentively at the apparition of the lights, which seemed to
+increase the nearer they came. This being perceived by the squire, he
+began to quake like quicksilver; and the hair bristled up on Don
+Quixote’s head: nevertheless, recollecting himself a little, ‘Without
+doubt, Sancho,’ said he, ‘this must be a vast and perilous adventure in
+which I shall be obliged to exert my whole strength and prowess.’—‘Woe
+is me!’ cried Sancho, ‘if perchance this should be an adventure of
+phantoms, as I am afraid it is, where shall I find ribs for the
+occasion?’—‘Phantoms or not phantoms,’ said the knight, ‘I will not
+suffer them to touch a thread of thy cloaths: if they made merry at thy
+expence before, it was owing to my incapacity to climb over the yard
+wall; but at present we are in an open field, where I can manage my
+sword as I please.’—‘But if they should benumb and bewitch you, as they
+did in the morning,’ said the squire, ‘what benefit shall I receive from
+being in the open field?’—‘Be that as it will,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘I
+beseech thee, Sancho, be of good courage, and thou shalt soon know by
+experience how much I am master of that virtue.’ Sancho accordingly
+promised to do his best, with God’s assistance. Then they both stepped
+to one side of the road, and began to gaze again with great attention.
+While they were thus endeavouring to discern the meaning of the lights,
+they perceived a great number of persons in white; which dreadful vision
+entirely extinguished the courage of Sancho Panza, whose teeth began to
+chatter, as if he had been in the cold fit of an ague; and this
+agitation and chattering increased, when they saw them more distinctly;
+for, first and foremost appeared about twenty persons on horseback, all
+of them cloathed in white, with each a lighted flambeau in his hand,
+muttering in a low and plaintive tone. Behind them came a litter covered
+with black, followed by six mounted cavaliers in deep mourning, that
+trailed at the very heels of their mules, which were easily
+distinguished from horses by the slowness of their pace.
+
+This strange vision, at such an hour, and in such a desart place, was
+surely sufficient to smite the heart of Sancho with fear, and even make
+an impression upon his master; and this would have been the case, had he
+been any other than Don Quixote; as for the squire, his whole stock of
+resolution went to wreck. It was not so with his master, whose
+imagination clearly represented to him, that this was exactly an
+adventure of the same kind with those he had read in books of chivalry;
+that the close litter was a bier, in which was carried some dead or
+wounded knight, the revenge of whose wrongs was reserved for him alone:
+wherefore, without canvassing the matter any farther, he set his lance
+in the rest, fixed himself in his seat, and with the most genteel and
+gallant deportment, placing himself in the middle of the road, through
+which they were indispensibly obliged to pass, he raised his voice, and
+called to them as they approached—
+
+‘Halt, knights, whosoever ye are, and give an account of yourselves:
+whence come ye? whither go ye? and what are you carrying off in that
+bier? for, in all appearance, you have either done or received an
+injury; and it is necessary and convenient that I should know it, in
+order to chastise you for what you are now doing, or revenge the wrong
+you have already done.’—‘We are at present in a hurry,’ replied one of
+the phantoms in white; ‘the inn we intend to lodge at is far off, and we
+cannot stay to give such a tedious account as you desire.’ So saying, he
+spurred on his mule; while Don Quixote, mightily incensed at this reply,
+laid hold of his bridle, saying, ‘Stand, and answer the questions I have
+asked, with more civility; otherwise I will give battle to you all.’
+
+The mule being skittish, was frighted in such a manner, at being seized
+by the bridle, that rearing on her hind feet, she fell backward upon her
+rider; and a servant on foot, seeing his master fall, began to revile
+Don Quixote, whose choler being already provoked, he couched his lance,
+and without hesitation attacked one of the mourners, who soon fell to
+the ground, most miserably mauled; then wheeling about upon the rest, it
+was surprizing to see with what dispatch he assaulted and put them to
+the rout! while Rozinante acted with such agility and fury, that one
+would have sworn, at that instant, a pair of wings had sprung from his
+back. All the squadron arrayed in white, was composed of timorous and
+unarmed people, who were fain to get out of the fray as soon as
+possible, and began to fly across the plain, with their lighted torches
+like so many maskers in carnival time. The mourners being involved and
+intangled in their long robes, could not stir out of the way; so that
+Don Quixote, without running any risk, drubbed them all round, and
+obliged them at length to quit the field, much against their
+inclination; for they actually believed he was no man, but a devil
+incarnate, who lay in wait to carry off the dead body that was in the
+litter.
+
+All this while Sancho stood beholding with admiration the courage and
+intrepidity of the knight; saying within himself, ‘This master of mine
+is certainly as strong and valiant as he pretends to be.’
+
+Meanwhile, Don Quixote, by the light of a torch that lay burning on the
+ground, perceiving the first whom the mule overthrew, rode up to him,
+and clapping the point of his lance to the poor man’s throat, commanded
+him to yield, otherwise he would put him to death. To this declaration
+the other answered, ‘Methinks I am already sufficiently quiet; for one
+of my legs is broke, so that I cannot stir; I beseech your worship,
+therefore, if you be a Christian, not to kill me, as in so doing you
+will commit the horrid sin of sacrilege; for I am a licentiate, and have
+taken holy orders.’—‘If you are an ecclesiastick, what the devil brought
+you here?’ cried Don Quixote. ‘The devil, indeed, I think it was,’
+answered the overthrown priest. ‘You will have to do with worse than the
+devil,’ said the knight, ‘if you refuse the satisfaction I at first
+demanded.’—‘That is easily granted,’ replied the other; ‘and in the
+first place your worship must know, that though I just now called myself
+a licentiate, I am no more than a batchelor: my name is Alonzo Lopez; I
+was born at Alcovendas; and now come from the city of Baeça, in company
+with eleven other priests, who are those who fled with the torches; we
+are conveying to Segovia that litter which contains the corpse of a
+gentleman who died at Baeça, where it was deposited till now, (as I was
+saying) that we are carrying his bones to be interred at Segovia, which
+was the place of his nativity.’—‘And who killed him?’ said Don Quixote.
+‘God himself,’ replied the batchelor, ‘by means of a pestilential
+calenture that seized him!’—‘At that rate,’ resumed the knight, ‘the
+Lord hath saved me the trouble of avenging his death, as I would have
+done, had he been slain by any mortal arm; but, considering how he died,
+there is nothing to be done, except to shrug up our shoulders in
+silence, for this is all that could happen, even if I myself should fall
+by the same hand; and I desire your reverence would take notice, that I
+am a knight of La Mancha, called Don Quixote, whose office and exercise
+is to travel through the world, redressing grievances and righting
+wrongs[62].’—‘I do not know how you can call this behaviour righting
+wrongs,’ said the batchelor: ‘I am sure you have changed my right into
+wrong, by breaking my leg, which will never be set to rights again so
+long as I live; and the grievances you have redressed for me, have been
+to aggrieve me in such a manner, as that I shall never cease to grieve
+at my misventure, in meeting with you, while you was in search of
+adventures.’—‘All things do not equally succeed,’ observed the knight;
+‘it was the misfortune of you and your companions, Mr. Batchelor Alonzo
+Lopez, to travel in the night, with these surplices and lighted
+flambeaus, singing all the way, before people clad in deep mourning, so
+that you seemed a company of ghosts broke from the other world,
+therefore I could not help performing my duty in attacking you; and I
+would have behaved in the same manner, had I actually known you to be
+really and truly the inhabitants of hell; for such indeed I thought you
+were.’—‘Since my hard fate would have it so,’ said the batchelor, ‘I
+entreat your worship, Sir knight-errant, who have been the cause of an
+unlucky errand to me, to help me from getting under the mule, which
+keeps one of my legs fast jammed between the stirrup and the saddle.’—‘I
+might have talked on till morning,’ said the knight; ‘why did not you
+inform me of your distress sooner?’
+
+He then called aloud to Sancho, who was in no hurry to hear him, but
+busy in rummaging a sumpter-mule which those honest priests brought
+along with them, well furnished with provisions. Having made a bag of
+his great coat, into which he crammed as much of their victuals as it
+would hold, he loaded his ass with the bundle, and then running up to
+his master, helped to free Mr. Batchelor from the oppression of his
+mule, on which having mounted him, with a torch in his hand, Don Quixote
+advised him to follow the route of his companions; and desired him to
+beg their pardon in his name, for the injury he had done them, as it was
+not in his power to avoid it. Sancho, likewise interposing, said, ‘If in
+case the gentleman should want to know who the valiant hero is who put
+them to flight, your worship may tell them, that he is the famous Don
+Quixote de La Mancha, otherwise surnamed the Knight of the Rueful
+Countenance.’
+
+Thus dismissed, the batchelor pursued his way; and the knight asked what
+had induced Sancho, now, rather than at any other time, to stile him the
+Knight of the Rueful Countenance. ‘Truly,’ answered Sancho, ‘I have been
+looking at you some time by the light of that torch the unfortunate
+traveller held in his hand; and in good faith, your worship cuts the
+most dismal figure I have almost ever seen; and it must certainly be
+occasioned either by the fatigue you have undergone in this battle, or
+by the want of your teeth.’—‘That is not the case,’ replied his master;
+‘but the sage who is destined to write the history of my exploits, hath
+thought proper that I should assume some appellation, by the example of
+former knights, one of whom took the title of the Flaming Sword; another
+of the Unicorn; a third of the Ladies; a fourth of the Phœnix; a fifth
+of the Griffin; a sixth called himself the Knight of Death; and by these
+epithets and symbols they were known all over the face of the earth; and
+therefore I say, that the forementioned sage hath now put it into thy
+thoughts, and directed thy tongue to call me the Knight of the Rueful
+Countenance; an appellation that henceforward I adopt; and that it may
+suit me the better, I am resolved to have a most woeful figure painted
+upon my shield, with the first opportunity.’—‘There is no occasion,’
+said Sancho, ‘to throw away time and money on such a device; your
+worship has nothing more to do but uncover your face; and I’ll warrant
+those who behold it will call it a rueful one, without your having
+recourse to pictures and shields to explain your meaning; and you may
+believe I tell you nothing but the truth, when I maintain, though it be
+but in jest, that hunger and want of teeth makes your worship look so
+ill-favouredly, that we may very well save the expence of a rueful
+picture.’
+
+Don Quixote could not help laughing at the pleasantry of Sancho, though
+he actually determined to assume that name, and have his shield and
+target painted according to his fancy, ‘I know, Sancho,’ said he, ‘that
+I have incurred the sentence of excommunication, for having laid violent
+hands on consecrated things, according to the canon; “_Si quis suadente
+diabolo, &c._” yet you know I touched them not with my hands, but with
+my lance; and even then never dreamed of injuring priests, or of giving
+the smallest offence to the church, which I respect and adore, like a
+faithful catholick and Christian as I am; but, on the contrary, took
+them for phantoms and beings of another world: but the case being as it
+is, I remember what happened to the Cid Ruy Diaz, who broke to pieces
+the chair of a certain king’s ambassador, in presence of his holiness
+the pope; for which outrage he was excommunicated; and that very day the
+worthy Rodrigo de Vivar behaved like a valiant and honourable knight.’
+
+The batchelor being gone, as we have observed, without answering one
+word, Don Quixote expressed a desire of examining the litter, to see if
+it really contained a corpse; but Sancho would by no means consent to
+this enquiry, saying, ‘Your worship has already finished this perilous
+adventure with less damage to yourself than I have seen you receive in
+any other; but the people whom you have conquered and overthrown, may
+chance to recollect that they were vanquished by a single man, and be so
+much ashamed and confounded at their own cowardice as to rally, and if
+they find us, give us our belly-full. Dapple is at present very
+comfortably furnished; there is an uninhabited mountain hard by, hunger
+is craving, we have nothing to do but retreat thither at a gentle trot;
+and, as the saying is, “The dead to the bier, and the living to good
+cheer.”’ With these words he took the lead with his ass, and the knight
+thinking there was a good deal of reason in what he said, followed him
+very peaceably, without making any reply.
+
+When they had travelled a little way between two hills, they found
+themselves in a spacious and retired valley, where they alighted; Sancho
+unloaded the ass, they sat down on the green turf, and with hunger for
+their sauce, dispatched their breakfast, dinner, afternoon’s luncheon,
+and supper, at one meal; solacing their stomachs out of more than one
+basket, which the ecclesiastical attendants of the defunct, who seldom
+neglect these things, had brought along with them on their sumpter-mule:
+but another misfortune befel them, which, in Sancho’s opinion, was the
+worst that could happen: they had not one drop of wine to drink, nor
+indeed of water to cool their throats, so that they were parched with
+thirst; then the squire, perceiving the meadow where they sat was
+overgrown with green and tender grass, made the proposal which may be
+seen in the following chapter.
+
+Footnote 62:
+
+ Knights engaged themselves, by oath, to protect the widow and the
+ orphan, to redress all injuries; and, in a special manner, to defend
+ the characters of ladies by force of arms.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VI.
+ OF THE UNSEEN AND UNHEARD OF ADVENTURE
+ ATCHIEVED BY THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA,
+ WITH LESS HAZARD THAN EVER ATTENDED ANY EXPLOIT
+ PERFORMED BY THE MOST RENOWNED KNIGHT ON EARTH.
+
+
+‘This grass, my good master, proves beyond all contradiction, that there
+must be some spring or rivulet hereabouts by which it is watered; and
+therefore we had better proceed a little farther, until we find
+wherewith to allay this terrible thirst, which is more painful and
+fatiguing than hunger alone.’ This advice appearing rational to Don
+Quixote, he took hold of Rozinante’s bridle, and Sancho leading Dapple
+by the halter, after he had loaded him again with the fragments of their
+supper, they began to move farther into the meadow, at a venture; for
+the night was so dark, they could not distinguish one object from
+another: but they had not gone two hundred paces, when their ears were
+saluted with a prodigious noise of water, that seemed to rush down from
+some huge and lofty rocks; they were infinitely rejoiced at the sound,
+when halting to listen, that they might know whence it came, they were
+all of a sudden surprized with another kind of noise, that soon damped
+the pleasure occasioned by the water, especially in Sancho, who was
+naturally fearful and faint-hearted; I say they heard the sound of
+regular strokes, accompanied with strange clanking of iron chains,
+which, added to the dreadful din of the cataract, would have smote the
+heart of any other but Don Quixote with fear and consternation.
+
+The night, as we have already observed, was dark; our travellers
+happened at this time to be in a grove of tall trees, whose leaves,
+moving gently by the wind, yielded a sort of dreary whisper: so that the
+solitude of the place, the darkness of the night, the noise of the
+water, and rustling of the leaves, concurred to inspire them with horror
+and dismay; the more so, as the strokes were continued, the wind sighed
+on, and the morning was far off; and all these circumstances were
+aggravated by their ignorance of the place in which they were. But Don
+Quixote, encouraged by his own intrepid heart, mounted Rozinante, braced
+his shield, and brandishing his lance, ‘Friend Sancho,’ cried he, ‘know
+that I was born by Heaven’s appointment in these iron times to revive
+the age of gold, or, as it is usually called, the golden age. I am he
+for whom strange perils, valiant deeds, and vast adventures, are
+reserved! I am he, I say, ordained to re-establish the Knights of the
+Round-table, the Twelve Peers of France, with the Nine Worthies! He
+whose feats shall bury, in oblivion the Platirs, Tablantes, Olivantes,
+and Tirantes, the Febuses and Belianises, together with the whole tribe
+of knights-errant who lived in former times; performing such mighty and
+amazing deeds of arms, as will eclipse their most renowned acts!
+Consider well, thou true and loyal squire, the darkness and the solemn
+stillness of this night, the indistinct and hollow whispering of these
+trees, the dreadful din of that water we came to seek, which seems to
+rush and rumble down from the lofty mountains of the moon; together with
+these incessant strokes that strike and wound our ears: all those
+circumstances united, or each singly by itself, is sufficient to infuse
+fear, terror, and dismay, into the breast of Mars himself; much more in
+him who is altogether unaccustomed to such adventures and events. Yet
+all I have described are only incentives that awaken my courage, and
+already cause my heart to rebound within my breast, with desire to
+atchieve this adventure, howsoever difficult it may appear to be!
+Therefore straiten Rozinante’s girth, recommend thyself to God, and wait
+for me in this place, three days at farthest; within which time, if I
+come not back, thou mayest return to our village; and, as the last
+favour and service done to me, go from thence to Toboso, and inform my
+incomparable mistress, Dulcinea, that her captive knight died in
+attempting things that might render him worthy to be called her lover.’
+
+When Sancho heard these last words of his master, he began to blubber
+with incredible tenderness. ‘I cannot conceive,’ said he, ‘why your
+worship should attempt such a terrible adventure: it is now dark, and
+nobody sees us; therefore we may turn out of this road and avoid the
+danger, though we should not taste liquor these three days; and if
+nobody sees us, we run no risk of being accused of cowardice; besides, I
+have heard the curate of our town, whom your worship knows very well,
+remark in his preaching, “He that seeketh danger perisheth therein;”
+therefore it must be a sin to tempt God by engaging in this rash
+exploit, from whence there is no escaping without a miracle; and Heaven
+hath wrought enow of them already, in preserving you from being
+blanketed as I was, and bringing you off conqueror, and sound wind and
+limb, from the midst of so many adversaries as accompanied the dead man:
+and if all this will not move you, nor soften your rugged heart, sure
+you will relent, when you consider and are assured that your worship
+will be scarce gone from hence, when I shall I through pure fear yield
+my life to any thing that may chuse to take it. I left my habitation,
+wife and children, to come and serve your worship, believing it would be
+the better, not the worse for me so to do; but as greediness bursts the
+bag, so is the bag of my hopes bursten; for when they are at the highest
+pitch, in expectation of that curst unlucky island your worship has
+promised me so often, I find in lieu of that, you want to make me amends
+by leaving me in this desart, removed from all human footsteps: for the
+love of God, dear master, do me not such wrong; or if your worship is
+resolved to attempt this atchievement at any rate, at least delay it
+till morning, which, according to the signs I learned when I was a
+shepherd, will appear in less than three hours; for the muzzle of the
+bear is at the top of his head[63], and shews midnight in the line of
+the left paw.’
+
+‘How canst thou perceive,’ said Don Quixote, ‘that line, or head, or
+muzzle, thou talked of, when the night is so dark that there is not a
+star to be seen?’—‘It is so,’ answered Sancho; ‘but fear hath many eyes;
+and I can at present behold things that are hid within the bowels of the
+earth; much more those that appear in the firmament above: a man of
+sound judgment, like me, can easily foretel that it will soon be
+day.’—‘Let it come when it will,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘it shall not be
+said of me, either now or at any other time, that I was diverted by
+tears and intreaties from doing what I owed to the customs of chivalry;
+I therefore beseech thee, Sancho, to hold thy peace; for God, who hath
+put it in my heart to attempt this dreadful and unseen adventure, will
+doubtless take care of my safety, and comfort thee in thy affliction:
+thy business at present is to gird fast Rozinante, and remain in this
+place, for dead or alive I will soon return.’
+
+Sancho finding this was the final resolution of his master, and how
+little all his tears, advice, and intreaties availed, determined, to
+make use of stratagem to detain the knight, if possible, till morning:
+with this purpose, under pretence of adjusting the girth of Rozinante,
+he fair and softly, without being perceived, tied two of the horse’s
+feet together with the halter of his ass, in such a manner, that when
+Don Quixote attempted to depart, he found it impossible, because his
+steed could move no otherwise than by leaps. The squire perceiving the
+success of his invention, ‘Sir,’ said he, ‘you may see that Heaven,
+melted by my tears and prayers, hath ordained that Rozinante shall not
+stir; and if you obstinately persist in spurring and driving him on, you
+will only give offence to Providence, and, as the saying is, “Kick
+against the pricks.”’
+
+The knight actually despaired of making him go forward, because the more
+he goaded his horse, the less was he inclined to stir; and therefore,
+without guessing a tittle of the ligature, thought proper to submit and
+wait with patience, either till morning, or such time as Rozinante
+should recover the use of his limbs; believing for certain, that his
+disappointment was owing to another cause than the craft of his squire,
+to whom he said, ‘Since Rozinante is incapable of moving, I am content
+to wait for the dawn, though I cannot help lamenting its delay.’—‘You
+shall have no cause for lamentation,’ answered Sancho; ‘I will entertain
+your worship with telling stories till day, unless you chuse to alight,
+and take a nap on the soft grass according to the custom of
+knights-errant, that you may find yourself refreshed when day breaks,
+and ready to undertake the unconscionable adventure that awaits
+you.’—‘Talk not to me of alighting or sleeping,’ said Don Quixote; ‘dost
+thou imagine me to be one of those knights who seek their repose in
+times of danger? Sleep thou who wast born to sleep, or follow thy own
+inclinations; for my own part, I will behave as becomes a person of my
+pretensions.’—‘Let not your worship be offended; for that was not my
+intention when I spoke;’ answered Sancho; who coming close to him, laid
+hold of the saddle before and behind, and stood embracing his master’s
+left thigh, without daring to stir a finger’s breadth from the spot;
+such was his consternation, inspired by the strokes, which all this time
+sounded alternately in his ears.
+
+Then Don Quixote claiming his promise of entertaining him with some
+story; ‘I would with all my heart,’ said Sancho, ‘if the dread of what I
+hear would allow me; but nevertheless I will try to force out one story,
+which if I hit it aright, without letting it slip through my hands, is
+the best tale that ever was told; therefore I would have your worship be
+attentive, for thus I begin.
+
+‘There was, so there was; the good that shall fall, betide us all; and
+he that seeks evil, may he meet with the devil. Your worship may take
+notice, that the beginning of ancient tales is not just what came into
+the head of the teller: no, they always began with some saying of Cato
+the censor of Rome, like this of, “He that seeks evil, may he meet with
+the devil.” And truly it comes as pat to the purpose as the ring to my
+finger, in order to persuade your worship to remain where you are,
+without going in search of evil in any manner of way; or else to turn
+into another road, since we are not bound to follow this in which we
+have been surprized with fear and terror.’—‘Follow thy story, Sancho,’
+said Don Quixote; ‘and as to the road we have to follow, leave the care
+of that to me.’—‘To proceed, then,’ said Sancho; ‘in a certain village
+of Estremadura there lived a certain goat shepherd; I mean, one that
+kept goats; and this shepherd or goatherd, as the story goes, was called
+Lope Ruyz; and it came to pass, that this Lope Ruyz fell in love with a
+shepherdess whose name was Torralva; which shepherdess, whose name was
+Torralva, was the daughter of a rich herdsman; and this rich herdsman—’
+
+‘If thou telleth thy tale in this manner,’ cried Don Quixote, ‘repeating
+every circumstance twice over, it will not be finished these two days:
+proceed therefore connectedly, and rehearse it like a man of
+understanding; otherwise thou hadst better hold thy tongue.’—‘In my
+country,’ answered Sancho, ‘all the old stories are told in this manner;
+neither can I tell it in any other; nor is it civil in your worship to
+desire I should change the custom.’—‘Take thy own way,’ said the knight;
+‘and since it is the will of fate that I should hear thee, pray go on.’
+
+‘Well, then, good master of mine,’ proceeded Sancho, ‘that same
+shepherd, as I have already remarked, fell in love with the shepherdess
+Torralva, who was a thick, brawny wench, a little coy, and somewhat
+masculine; for she wore a sort of mustachios: methinks I see her now for
+all the world.’—‘Then thou knewest her?’ said the knight. ‘Not I,’
+answered the squire; ‘but the person who told me the story, said it was
+so true and certain, that if ever I should chance to tell it again, I
+might affirm upon oath that I had seen it with my own eyes—And so, in
+process of time, the devil, who never sleeps, but wants to have a finger
+in every pye, managed matters in such a manner, that the shepherd’s love
+for the shepherdess was turned into malice and deadly hate: and the
+cause, according to evil tongues, was a certain quantity of small
+jealousies she gave him, exceeding all bounds of measure. And such was
+the abhorrence the shepherd conceived for her, from that good day
+forward, that, in order to avoid the sight of her, he resolved to absent
+himself from his own country, and go where he should never set eyes on
+her again. Torralva, finding herself despised by Lope, began to love him
+more than ever.’—‘That is the natural disposition of the sex,’ said Don
+Quixote, ‘to disdain those who adore them, and love those by whom they
+are abhorred: but proceed, Sancho.’
+
+‘It so fell out,’ said Sancho, ‘that the shepherd put his resolution in
+practice, and driving his goats before him, travelled through the plains
+of Estremadura, towards the kingdom of Portugal. Torralva, having got an
+inkling of his design, was soon at his heels, following him on foot,
+aye, and barefoot too, with a pilgrim’s staff in her hand, and a wallet
+at her back, in which, as the report goes, she carried a bit of a
+looking-glass, a broken comb, and a kind of phial of wash for her
+complexion: but howsomever, whether she carried these things or not, I
+shall not at present take upon me to aver; but only say what is
+recorded, that the shepherd came with his flock to the river Guadiana,
+which at that time was very high, having almost forsaken its channel;
+and finding at the place neither boat nor bark to carry himself and his
+flock to the other side, he was very much in the dumps, because he saw
+Torralva behind him, and knew what he must suffer from her tears and
+complaints: but looking about, he at last perceived hard by him a
+fisherman in a boat, that was so small as to contain only one person and
+one goat: nevertheless, they struck up a bargain, by which the man was
+to ferry over the shepherd with his three hundred goats. Accordingly the
+fisherman took one goat into the boat, and carried it over; then he
+returned and carried over another, then he returned again to fetch
+another. Pray, good your worship, keep an exact account of the goats, as
+the fisherman ferried them over; for, if one only should be lost in the
+reckoning, the story will break off, and it will be impossible for me to
+relate one word more. To be short, then, I say, the landing-place on the
+other side being full of mud and slippery, was a great hindrance to the
+fisherman in his going and coming; but however he returned for the other
+goat, and then for some more, and then for another.’
+
+‘Suppose them all passed over at once,’ said Don Quixote, ‘for if thou
+goest backwards and forwards in this manner, thou wilt not have them all
+ferried over in a year.’—‘How many have already passed?’ said the
+squire. ‘How the devil should I know?’ answered the knight. ‘Did not I
+tell you to keep a good account?’ said Sancho; ‘now, before God, the
+tale is ended, and it is impossible to proceed!’—‘How can that be?’
+replied Don Quixote; ‘is it so essential to the story to know the number
+of goats as they passed, so precisely, that if I misreckon one, thou
+canst not proceed?’—‘Certainly, Sir,’ said Sancho, ‘I can proceed in no
+manner of way: for when I desired your worship to tell me what number of
+goats had passed, and you answered you did not know; at that instant the
+whole of the story that remained untold, vanished from my remembrance;
+and, upon my conscience! it was very curious and entertaining.’—‘At that
+rate, then, the story is at an end?’ said Don Quixote. ‘As much at an
+end,’ replied the squire, ‘as the mother that bore me.’
+
+‘In good sooth,’ resumed the knight, ‘thou hast related the strangest
+fable, tale, or story, that ever was invented; and finished thy relation
+in such a manner as never was or will be heard again in this world; but
+nothing else was to be expected from thy sound judgment; and indeed it
+is a matter of no admiration with me, because I take it for granted,
+that these incessant strokes have disordered thy understanding.’—‘Not
+unlikely,’ said Sancho; ‘but this I know, that there is no more to be
+said of the tale, which ended in that place where the mistake began
+about the passage of the goats.’—‘In good time end it according to thy
+own pleasure,’ replied the knight, ‘and now let us see if Rozinante will
+move.’ So saying, he began again to spur, and the horse to leap without
+moving from his station, so effectually had Sancho fettered him.
+
+About this time, whether it was owing to the coolness of the morning
+that approached, or to his having supped upon something that was
+laxative; or, which is more probable, to the operation of nature; Sancho
+was seized with an inclination and desire of doing that which could not
+be performed by proxy; but such was the terror that had taken possession
+of his soul, that he durst not move the breadth of a nail-pairing from
+his master’s side; at the same time it was as impossible for him to
+resist the motion of his bowels; and therefore, to compromise the
+matter, he slipped his right-hand from the hinder part of the saddle,
+and without any noise softly undid the slip-knot by which his breeches
+were kept up; upon which they of themselves fell down to his heels,
+where they remained like a pair of shackles; he then gathered up his
+shirt behind as well as he could, and exposed his posteriors, which were
+none of the smallest, to the open air: this being done, and he imagined
+it was the chief step he could take to deliver himself from the pressing
+occasion and dilemma in which he was, another difficulty still greater
+occurred, namely, that he should not be able to disincumber himself
+without noise; he therefore began to fix his teeth close, shrug up his
+shoulders, and hold in his breath with all his might. But,
+notwithstanding these precautions, he was so unlucky in the issue, as to
+produce a rumbling sound very different from that which had terrified
+him so much. It did not escape the ears of Don Quixote, who immediately
+cried, ‘What noise is that, Sancho?’—‘I know not, Sir,’ said the squire;
+‘it must be some new affair, for adventures and misventures never begin
+with trifles.’ He tried his fortune a second time; and, without any more
+noise or disorder, freed himself from the load which had given him so
+much uneasiness. But as Don Quixote’s sense of smelling was altogether
+as acute as that of his hearing, and Sancho stood so close to him that
+the vapours ascended towards him almost in a direct line, he could not
+exclude some of them from paying a visit to his nose. No sooner was he
+sensible of the first salutation, than, in his own defence, he pressed
+his nose between his finger and thumb, and, in a snuffling tone,
+pronounced, ‘Sancho, thou seemest to be in great fear.’—‘I am so,’
+answered the squire; ‘but how comes your worship to perceive my fears
+now more than ever?’—‘Because at present thou smellest more than ever,
+and that not of amber,’ replied the knight. ‘That may be,’ said Sancho;
+‘but I am not so much to blame as your worship, who drags me at such
+unseasonable hours into these uninhabited places.’—‘Retire three or four
+steps farther off, friend,’ resumed Don Quixote, stopping his nose all
+the time, ‘and henceforth take more heed of thy own person, and remember
+what thou owest to mine; for I find the frequent conversation I maintain
+with thee, hath engendered this disrespect.’—‘I’ll lay a wager,’ replied
+Sancho, ‘that your worship thinks I have been doing something I ought
+not to have done.’—‘The more you stir it, friend Sancho,’ said the
+knight, ‘the more it will stink.’
+
+In this and other such discourse, the master and his squire passed the
+night; but Sancho perceiving the day begin to break apace, with great
+care and secresy unbound Rozinante, and tied up his breeches. The beast,
+which was naturally none of the briskest, seemed to rejoice at his
+freedom, and began to paw the ground; for as to curvetting, with his
+leave be it spoken, he knew nothing of the matter. Don Quixote, finding
+him so mettlesome, conceived a good omen from his eagerness, believing
+it a certain presage of his success in the dreadful adventure he was
+about to atchieve. Aurora now disclosed herself, and objects appearing
+distinctly, Don Quixote found himself in a grove of tall chesnut-trees,
+which formed a very thick shade. The strokes still continuing, though he
+could not conceive the meaning of them, he, without farther delay, made
+Rozinante feel the spur; then turning to take leave of Sancho, commanded
+him to wait three days at farthest, as he had directed before; and if he
+should not return before that time was expired, he might take it for
+granted that God had been pleased to put a period to his life in that
+perilous adventure; he again recommended to him the embassy and message
+he should carry from him to his mistress Dulcinea, and bade him give
+himself no uneasiness about his wages; for he had made a will before he
+quitted his family, in which he should find his services repaid, by a
+salary proportioned to the time of his attendance: but if Heaven should
+be pleased to bring him off from that danger, safe, sound, and free, he
+might, beyond all question, lay his account with the government of the
+island he had promised him. Sancho, hearing these dismal expressions of
+his worthy master repeated, began to blubber afresh, and resolved not to
+leave him until the last circumstance and issue of the affair.
+
+From these tears, and this honourable determination of Sancho Panza, the
+author of this history concludes, that he must have been a gentleman
+born, or an old Christian at least. His master himself was melted a
+little at this testimony of his affection, but not so much as to
+discover the least weakness: on the contrary, disguising his sentiments,
+he rode forward towards the place from whence the noise of the strokes
+and water seemed to come; Sancho followed on foot, and according to
+custom, leading by the halter his ass, which was the constant companion
+of his good and evil fortune. Having travelled a good way among those
+shady chesnut-trees, they arrived in a small meadow lying at the foot of
+a huge rock, over which a stream of water rushed down with vast
+impetuosity. Below appeared a few wretched huts, that looked more like
+ruins than houses; and they observed that from them proceeded the
+horrible din of the strokes, which had not yet ceased.
+
+Rozinante being startled at the dreadful noise of the strokes and water,
+Don Quixote endeavoured to soothe him, and advanced by little and little
+towards the huts, recommending himself in the most earnest manner to his
+mistress, whose favour he implored in the atchievement of that fearful
+enterprize: neither did he omit praying to God for his protection.
+Sancho, who never stirred from his side, thrust his neck as far as he
+could between the legs of Rozinante, in order to discover the objects
+that kept him in such terror and suspence; and when they had proceeded
+about a hundred paces farther, at the doubling of a corner, stood fully
+disclosed to view the very individual and undoubted cause of this
+tremendous sound and terrible noise, which had filled them with such
+doubts and consternation all night long.
+
+This was no other, (be not offended, gentle reader) than six
+fulling-hammers, which, by their alternate strokes, produced that
+amazing din. Don Quixote was struck dumb with astonishment at the sight;
+Sancho looked at him, and found his head hanging down upon his breast,
+and other manifest signs of his being out of countenance. The knight, in
+his turn, looked at the squire, and saw his mouth shut, his cheeks
+puffed up, with other symptoms of his being ready to burst with
+laughing. This comical situation of the squire, in spite of all his own
+melancholy, obliged the master to begin; and Sancho no sooner beheld the
+severity of the knight’s features relaxed, than he opened the
+flood-gates of his mirth, which broke forth with such violence, that he
+was under the necessity of supporting his sides with both fists, that
+they might not be rent to pieces by the convulsion. Four times did he
+exhaust, and as often renew the laugh with the same impetuosity as at
+first; for which Don Quixote already wished him at the devil, more
+especially when he heard him pronounce, by way of sneer, ‘Know, friend
+Sancho, that I was born by Heaven’s appointment, in these iron times, to
+revive the age of gold, or the Golden Age! I am he for whom strange
+perils, valiant deeds, and vast adventures, are reserved!’ And in this
+manner he proceeded, repeating all, or the greater part of the knight’s
+exclamation, when they first heard the terrible noise.
+
+Don Quixote finding that Sancho made a jest of him, was so much ashamed
+and provoked, that, lifting up his lance, he bestowed upon him two or
+three thwacks, which, had they fallen upon his head, as they lighted on
+his shoulders, would have saved his master the trouble of paying his
+salary, unless it might be to his heirs. Sancho feeling his joke turned
+into such disagreeable earnest, which he was afraid might not be as yet
+over, addressed himself to his master with great humility, saying, ‘Good
+your worship, forbear; before God, I was only in jest.’—‘Though you was
+in jest,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘I was not quite so merrily disposed:
+come hither, Mr. Joker; don’t you think, that if, instead of
+fulling-hammers, these had been some very dangerous adventure, I have
+shewn courage enough to undertake and atchieve it? Am I, who am a
+knight, obliged, for sooth, to distinguish sounds, and know which
+proceed from fulling-mills, and which do not? especially as it may be
+the case, and it really is so, that I never saw one before; though it is
+otherwise with thee, base plebeian as thou art, who was born and bred up
+among them: but see if thou canst metamorphose these six hammers into so
+many giants, and bring them within arm’s length of me, one by one, or
+all together; and if I don’t make them lie with their heels uppermost,
+make a jest of me as much as you please.’
+
+‘Enough, dear master,’ replied Sancho, ‘I confess I have exceeded a
+little in my pleasantry; but, pray tell me now, that we are at peace
+again, as God shall deliver your worship from all succeeding adventures
+as safe and sound as you have been extricated from this, is not the
+terror with which we were seized, a thing to be laughed at and repeated?
+I mean, my own terror; for, as to your worship, I know you are an utter
+stranger to terror and dismay!’—‘I do not deny,’ answered Don Quixote,
+‘that what hath happened to us is ridiculous enough; but, nevertheless,
+it ought not to be repeated; because every body has not discretion to
+take things by the right handle.’—‘I am sure,’ replied Sancho, ‘that
+your worship knows how to handle your lance, with which, while you
+wanted to handle my head, you happened to salute my shoulders; thanks be
+to God, and my own activity, in avoiding the blow: but all that, when it
+is dry, will rub out; and I have often heard it said, “He that loves
+thee well, will often make thee cry.” Nay, it is a common thing for your
+gentry, when they have said a harsh thing to a servant, to make it up
+with him by giving him a pair of cast breeches; though I don’t know what
+they used to give after having beaten him, unless it be the practice of
+knights-errant, after blows, to give islands, or kingdoms on the main
+land.’
+
+‘Who knows,’ said Don Quixote, ‘but the dice may run that way, and all
+that thou hast mentioned come to pass. I ask pardon for what is past,
+since you are resolved to be more discreet for the future; and as the
+first emotions are not in a man’s own power, I must apprize thee
+henceforward to be more reserved, and abstain from speaking so freely to
+me; for in all the books of chivalry I have read, and they are almost
+infinite, I never found that any squire talked so much to his master as
+thou hast talked to thine: and really both you and I are very much to
+blame; thou, in regarding me so little; and I, in not making myself
+regarded more. Was not Gandalin, squire of Amadis de Gaul, count of the
+Firm Island? and yet we read of him, that he always spoke to his master
+cap in hand, with an inclination of his head, and his body bent in the
+Turkish manner. What need I mention Gasabal, squire to Don Galaor, who
+was so reserved, that, in order to express the excellence of his
+surprizing silence, his name is mentioned but once in the whole course
+of that equally vast and true history. From what I have said, Sancho,
+thou art to draw this inference, that there is a necessity for
+maintaining some distinction between the master and his man, the
+gentleman and his servant, and the knight and his squire: wherefore,
+from this day forward, we are to be treated with more respect and less
+provocation; for if ever I am incensed by you again, in any shape
+whatever, the pitcher will pay for all. The favours and benefits I have
+promised will come in due time; and if they should fail, your wages at
+least will be forthcoming, as I have already informed you.’
+
+‘All that your worship observes is very just,’ said Sancho; ‘but I
+should be glad to know, since if the benefits come not in time, I must
+be fain to put up with the wages, what was the hire of a knight-errant’s
+squire in those days; and whether they agreed by the month or the day,
+like common labourers?’—‘I do not believe,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘that
+they were retained for hire, but depended altogether on favour; and
+though I have bequeathed a sum to thee in my will, which I have left
+signed and sealed at home, it was done in case of the worst; for one
+does not know how chivalry may succeed in these calamitous times: and I
+would not have my soul punished in the other world for so small a
+matter; for, let me tell thee, Sancho, in this there is not a more
+dangerous course than that of adventures.’—‘That I know to be true,’
+answered the squire, ‘since the noise of a fulling-mill could daunt and
+disturb the heart of such a valiant knight-errant as your worship: but
+this I assure you of, that from this good hour, my lips shall never give
+umbrage to your worship in turning your affairs to jest again; but, on
+the contrary, honour you as my natural lord and master.’—‘In so doing,’
+replied Don Quixote, ‘thou shalt live long upon the face of the earth;
+for, after your father and mother, you ought to respect your master as
+another parent.’
+
+Footnote 63:
+
+ In Castilian, _bocina_ signifies a cornet, or hunting-horn, to which
+ the Spaniards suppose the constellation of Ursa Minor bears some
+ resemblance.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VII.
+ OF THE SUBLIME ADVENTURE AND SHINING ACQUISITION OF MAMBRINO’S
+ HELMET—WITH OTHER ACCIDENTS THAT HAPPENED TO OUR INVINCIBLE KNIGHT.
+
+
+About this time some rain beginning to fall, Sancho proposed that they
+should shelter themselves in the fulling-mill; but Don Quixote had
+conceived such abhorrence for it on account of what was past, that he
+would by no means set foot within its walls; wherefore, turning to the
+right-hand, they chanced to fall in with a road different from that in
+which they had travelled the day before: they had not gone far, when the
+knight discovered a man riding with something on his head, that
+glittered like polished gold; and scarce had he descried this
+phænomenon, when turning to Sancho, ‘I find,’ said he, ‘that every
+proverb is strictly true; indeed all of them are apothegms dictated by
+Experience herself, the mother of all science; more especially that
+which says, “Shut one door, and another will soon open:” this I mention,
+because if last night Fortune shut against us the door we sought to
+enter, by deceiving us with the fulling-hammers; to-day another stands
+wide open, in profering to us another greater and more certain
+adventure, by which if I fail to enter, it shall be my own fault, and
+not imputed to my ignorance of fulling-mills, or the darkness of the
+night. This I take upon me to say, because, if I am not egregiously
+mistaken, the person who comes towards us, wears upon his head the very
+helmet of Mambrino, about which I swore the oath which thou mayest
+remember.’
+
+‘Consider well what your worship says, and better still what you do!’
+said Sancho. ‘I should not chuse to meet with more fulling-mills to mill
+us and maul us altogether out of our senses.’—‘The devil take the
+fellow,’ cried Don Quixote, ‘what affinity is there between a
+fulling-mill and a helmet?’—‘Truly, I know not,’ answered the squire;
+‘but in good faith, if I were permitted to speak freely, as usual, I
+could perhaps give such reasons as would convince your worship, that you
+are mistaken in what you say.’—‘How can I be mistaken, scrupulous
+traitor?’ replied Don Quixote: ‘seest thou not yonder knight who rides
+this way upon a dapple steed with a golden helmet on his head?’—‘What I
+perceive and discern,’ said Sancho, ‘is no other than a man upon a grey
+ass, like my own, with something that glitters on his head.’—‘And that
+is the very helmet of Mambrino,’ replied the knight: ‘stand aside, and
+leave me alone to deal with him: thou shalt see, that without speaking a
+syllable, in order to spare time, this adventure will be concluded by my
+acquisition of the helmet I have longed for so much.’—‘Yes, I will take
+care to get out of the way,’ answered Sancho; ‘and God grant,’ cried he,
+as he went off, ‘that this may turn out a melon rather than a
+milling[64].’—‘I have already warned thee, brother,’ said the knight,
+‘not to mention, nor even so much as think of the mill again: else, by
+Heaven! I’ll say no more, but mill the soul out of thy body.’
+
+Sancho was fain to hold his tongue, dreading the performance of his
+master’s oath, which had already struck him all of a heap. The whole
+affair of the helmet, steed, and knight, which Don Quixote saw, was no
+more than this: in that neighbourhood were two villages, one of them so
+poor and small, that it had neither shop nor barber: for which reason,
+the trimmer of the larger that was hard by, served the lesser also, in
+which, at that time, there was a sick person to be blooded, and another
+to be shaved; so that this barber was going thither with his brass bason
+under his arm; but, as it chanced to rain while he was on the road, that
+he might not spoil his hat, which probably was a new one, he sheltered
+his head under the bason, which being clean scoured, made a flaming
+appearance, at the distance of half a league; and, as Sancho had
+observed, he rode upon a grey ass, which gave occasion to Don Quixote to
+believe he was some knight with a helmet of gold, mounted upon a dapple
+steed; for he accommodated every thing he saw, with incredible facility,
+to the extravagant ravings of his disordered judgment. When he,
+therefore, saw this unlucky knight approach, without the least
+expostulation, he put Rozinante to full speed, and couching his lance in
+the rest, resolved to run him through the body at once; but, when he was
+almost up with him, without checking the impetuosity of his career, he
+cried aloud, ‘Defend thyself, wretched caitiff, or voluntarily yield
+what so justly belongs to me.’
+
+The poor barber, who neither dreaded nor dreamed of any such demand,
+seeing this phantom coming full speed upon him, could find no other
+means to defend himself from the stroke of the lance, than to throw
+himself down over the buttocks of his ass: then getting up, before he
+had scarce touched the ground, with the nimbleness of a stag, he began
+to fly across the plain so swift, that the wind itself could not
+overtake him: but he left his bason upon the spot, with which Don
+Quixote was satisfied, saying, ‘The pagan hath acted with discretion, in
+imitating the beaver, which, seeing itself chaced by the hunters, tears
+off with its teeth, by natural instinct, these parts for which it is
+pursued.’ Then, he ordered Sancho to take up the helmet, which the
+squire having examined all round, ‘Egad!’ said he, ‘it is a special good
+bason, well worth a piece of eight, if it be worth a farthing!’ and gave
+it to his master, who putting it on his head, and turning it round and
+round, without being able to find the vizor, said, ‘Without doubt, the
+pagan for whom this renowned helmet was first forged, must have had a
+most capacious head: but the worst of it is, that one half is wanting.’
+
+When Sancho heard him call the bason a helmet, he could not refrain from
+laughing; but, remembering the indignation of his master, checked his
+mirth all of a sudden; and when Don Quixote asked what he laughed at,
+replied, ‘I cannot help laughing when I think of the huge head of the
+pagan who owned that helmet, which looks for all the world like a
+barber’s bason.’—‘Why, truly Sancho,’ said he, ‘I imagine that this very
+individual inchanted helmet, by some strange accident or other, must
+have fallen into the hands of somebody who did not know its inestimable
+value, but seeing it was made of the purest gold, melted down one half
+of it for sale, and left the other in this shape, resembling, as thou
+sayest, a barber’s bason: but be that as it may, since I am satisfied of
+its real worth and identity, the transmutation is of small consequence;
+for I will order it to be repaired in the first village where we can
+find a blacksmith, in such a manner as to be unexcelled, nay even
+unequalled by that which Vulcan forged and finished for the god of war;
+meanwhile, I will wear it in this manner, for it is still better than
+nothing at all, and will be sufficient to defend me from any shower of
+stones that may chance to fall.’
+
+‘Yes, if they come not out of slings, as was the case in the skirmish
+between the two armies, when they demolished your worship’s grinders,
+and broke the cruse which contained that blessed balsam, which made me
+vomit up my liver and lights!’—‘That loss gives me not much uneasiness,’
+answered the knight, ‘because thou knowest, Sancho, I retain the receipt
+of it in my memory.’—‘So do I,’ replied the squire. ‘But, Lord, let me
+never stir from the place where I now stand, if ever I either make or
+meddle with it for the future; especially as I hope I never shall have
+occasion for it again, being resolved, with the assistance of my five
+senses, to avoid being hurt myself, and also to refrain from hurting any
+person whatsoever. As to another bout of blanketing, I have little to
+say: such misfortunes are not easily prevented; but when they happen,
+there is nothing else to be done, but to shrug up our shoulders, hold in
+our breath, shut our eyes, and leave ourselves to the determination of
+chance and the blanket.’
+
+‘Thou art a bad Christian, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, when he heard
+these words; ‘for once you receive an injury, you never forget it; but
+know it is peculiar to noble and generous minds to overlook such
+trifles: hast thou got a leg lamed, a rib fractured, or thy head broke
+in the prosecution of that jest, that thou canst not forget it? for the
+affair, when duly considered, was no more than jest and pastime; had I
+not understood it so, I should have returned ere now, and done more
+mischief in revenging thy quarrel, than the Grecians did for the rape of
+Helen; who, it she had lived in this age, or if my Dulcinea had
+flourished in her time, would not have been so renowned for beauty.’
+Here he fetched a profound sigh, and sent it to the clouds. ‘Let it
+pass, then, for a joke,’ said Sancho, ‘since there is no likelihood of
+its being revenged in earnest: but I know what sort of jokes and
+earnests those are; and I believe they will scarce slip out of my
+memory, while they remain engraven on my shoulders. But, setting this
+aside, I wish your worship would tell me what I shall do with this
+dapple steed so like a grey ass, which was abandoned by that caitiff,
+whom your worship overthrew; for by the swiftness of his heels, when he
+ran away, he seems to have no thoughts of returning; and by my whiskers
+’tis an excellent beast!’
+
+‘It is never my custom,’ said Don Quixote, ‘to plunder those I overcome;
+neither is it according to the laws of chivalry, to take them from their
+horses and leave them on foot, unless the conqueror hath lost his own
+during the engagement; in which case we are allowed to take the horse of
+the vanquished as the lawful spoils of war: wherefore, Sancho, leave
+that horse or ass, or what thou wilt, where he now stands, and perhaps
+his master, perceiving we are gone, will return and find him.’—‘God is
+my witness,’ answered Sancho, ‘I should be glad to carry him off, or at
+least exchange him for my own, which seems to be the worst of the two:
+truly the laws of chivalry are too confined; and since they do not
+extend to the exchange of one ass for another, I would fain know if they
+allow me to change the furniture of the one for that of the other?’—‘I
+am not quite clear in that particular,’ replied the knight; ‘and in such
+a dubious case, till such time as we can get better information, I think
+thou mayest exchange the furniture, if the necessity for so doing be
+extreme.’—‘It is so extreme,’ said Sancho, ‘that if it were for my own
+particular wearing, I could not want it more.’ Thus provided with a
+licence, he made the exchange of caparisons, and equipped his beast with
+such finery, that he looked ten per cent. the better.
+
+This exploit being performed, they went to breakfast on the remains of
+what they had plundered from the sumpter-mule, and quenched their thirst
+with the water from the fulling-mills, without turning their heads that
+way, so much did they abhor them on account of the dread which they had
+inspired. The rage of hunger and anxiety being thus appeased, they
+mounted, and without following any determined course, (for it is the
+practice of true knights-errant to keep no certain road) they left the
+choice of their route to the will and pleasure of Rozinante, which was
+always a rule to his master, as well as to the ass, that followed
+whithersoever he led, like a trusty friend and companion. In
+consequence, therefore, of his determination, they returned into the
+high-road, in which they travelled at random without any particular
+scheme.
+
+While they thus jogged on, ‘Sir,’ said Sancho to his master, ‘I wish
+your worship would allow me to confer a little with you; for, since you
+imposed that severe command of silence upon me, divers things have
+perished in my stomach; and this moment I have somewhat at my tongue’s
+end, which I would not for the world have miscarry.’—‘Speak then,’ said
+Don Quixote, ‘and be concise in thy discourse; for nothing that is
+prolix can relish well.’—‘I say, Sir,’ answered Sancho, ‘that for some
+days past I have been considering how little is to be got and saved by
+going in quest of those adventures your worship hunts after, through
+these cross-paths and desarts, where, though you conquer and atchieve
+the most perilous exploits, there is nobody present to be witness of
+your prowess; so that it may remain in everlasting silence, contrary to
+the intention, and prejudicial to the merits of your worship; wherefore,
+in my opinion, with submission to your better judgment, our wisest
+course would be to go into the service of some emperor or great prince,
+who hath a war upon his hands, in whose service your worship may have
+occasion to shew your personal valour, your great strength, and greater
+understanding; which being perceived by the king we serve, he cannot
+chuse but reward each of us according to his deserts; neither will there
+be wanting some person to write the history of your worship’s exploits,
+for a perpetual memorial: I shall not mention my own, because they
+cannot exceed the bounds of a squire’s province; though this I will
+venture to say, that if it was customary in chivalry to recount the
+atchievements of our fraternity, I don’t think but mine might be
+inferred between the lines of the book.’
+
+‘Thou art not much in the wrong,’ replied Don Quixote; ‘but before it
+comes to that issue, a knight must travel up and down the world as a
+probationer in quest of adventures, until by his repeated atchievements
+he shall have acquired a sufficient stock of fame; so that when he
+arrives at the court of some mighty monarch, he may be immediately known
+by his works. In that case, as soon as he shall be seen to enter the
+gates of the city, all the boys will surround and follow him, shouting
+and crying, “Behold the knight of the sun,” or the serpent, or of any
+other badge under which he hath performed his great exploits. “Behold,”
+they will say, “the man who vanquished in single combat the mighty giant
+Brocarbruno, and delivered the great Mamaluke of Persia from the strange
+inchantment that prevailed over him for the space of nine hundred
+years.” Thus shall they proceed, recounting his exploits from mouth to
+mouth; until, surprized at the noise of the children and populace, the
+king of that country shall appear at one of the palace-windows; and no
+sooner behold the knight, than knowing him immediately by his armour, or
+the device upon his shield, he will certainly exclaim, “So ho, there!
+let all the knights belonging to my court go forth and receive the
+flower of chivalry that comes yonder.”
+
+‘At this command all of them will come out, and the king himself advance
+to meet him on the middle of the stair-case, where he will embrace him
+most affectionately, giving him the kiss of friendship and welcome; then
+taking him by the hand, will he conduct him to the queen’s closet, where
+he will find her majesty with the princess her daughter, who is one of
+the most beautiful and accomplished young ladies that ever was seen in
+the known world. In this interview she will immediately fix her eyes
+upon the knight, who at that instant shall be gazing at her, and each
+will appear to the other something supernatural; without knowing how or
+wherefore, they will find themselves presently caught and intangled in
+the inextricable net of love, and be infinitely concerned because they
+have no opportunity of conversing together, and of disclosing the
+reciprocal anxiety of their thoughts. After this audience, he will,
+doubtless, be carried to some apartment of the palace richly furnished,
+where, after they shall have taken off his armour, they will clothe him
+in a rich scarlet robe brought for the purpose; and if he made a fine
+appearance in armour, he will look infinitely more genteel in his
+doublet. At night he will sup at the same table with the king, queen,
+and infanta, upon whom he will fix his eyes as often as he can, without
+being perceived by the by-standers; while she will practise the same
+expedient with equal sagacity: for, as I have already observed, she must
+be a young lady of vast discretion.
+
+‘The table being uncovered, there will enter at midnight through the
+hall-door, a little deformed dwarf, followed by a beautiful lady,
+guarded by two giants; and he will propose a certain adventure,
+contrived by a most ancient sage, which whosoever shall finish, will be
+deemed the most valiant knight in the whole world: then the king will
+order every warrior in waiting to attempt it; but all of them shall fail
+except the strange knight, who will perform and accomplish it very much
+to his own credit, as well as to the satisfaction of the princess, who
+will think herself extremely happy, and well requited, for having placed
+her affections so worthily. What is better still, this king or prince,
+or whatever he is, being at that time engaged in a most obstinate war
+with a potentate of equal strength, his guest, after having staid a few
+days at court, begs leave to go and serve him in the field; and the king
+granting his request with pleasure, the knight most politely kisses his
+hand for the great honour he hath done him; that same night he goes to
+take his leave of his mistress the infanta, through the rails of a
+garden adjoining to the chamber in which she lies; where they have
+already at different times enjoyed each other’s conversation, by the
+means of a damsel, who being the infanta’s confidante, is privy to the
+whole amour: on this occasion he will sigh most piteously, she will
+actually faint away; the damsel will run for water, and the knight will
+be extremely concerned, because the day begins to break, and he would
+not for the world be discovered to the prejudice of the lady’s
+reputation. In fine, the princess recovers, and reaches her fair hand
+through the rails to the knight, who kisses it a thousand times, and
+bathes it with his tears; then is concerted between them some method by
+which he is to inform her of his good or bad success, and the infanta
+intreats him to return as soon as possible: he swears solemnly to comply
+with her request, kisses her hand again, and bids her farewel with such
+affliction as well-nigh deprives him of life: from thence he retreats to
+his chamber, throws himself upon the bed, but cannot sleep, so grieved
+is he at parting; he rises early in the morning, goes to take leave of
+the king, queen, and infanta; their majesties accordingly bid him
+farewel, after having informed him that the princess is indisposed, and
+cannot see company; the knight imputing her disorder to her sorrow for
+his departure, is pierced to the soul, and well-nigh betrays his own
+anxiety. The confidante being present all the while, takes notice of
+every circumstance, which she imparts to her lady, who listens with
+tears in her eyes, and observes that nothing gives so much uneasiness as
+her ignorance of the knight’s pedigree, and her impatience to know
+whether or not he is of royal extraction: the damsel assures her, that
+so much politeness, gentility, and valour as he possessed, could never
+be united except in a dignified and royal disposition; the afflicted
+infanta consoles herself with this observation, and endeavouring to
+regain her serenity, that she may not give cause of suspicion to her
+parents, in two days appears again in publick.
+
+‘The knight having set out for the army, comes to battle, overcomes the
+king’s adversary, takes many towns, makes divers conquests, returns to
+court, visits his mistress in the usual manner, and the affair being
+concerted between them, demands her in marriage, as the reward of his
+service; her father refuses to grant the boon, on pretence of not
+knowing who this hero is: but, nevertheless, either by stealth, or some
+other way, the infanta becomes his wife; and at last the king is
+overjoyed at his good fortune, when this knight proves to be the son of
+a valiant monarch of some unknown country, for I suppose it could not be
+found in the map. The father dies, the infanta succeeds, and in two
+words the knight becomes king; this, then, is the time to reward his
+squire, and all those who helped him to ascend the throne. The squire
+accordingly is married to a damsel belonging to the infanta, who
+doubtless must be she that was privy to her amour, and daughter of some
+powerful duke.’
+
+‘This is what I want,’ cried Sancho, ‘and what with fair play I
+shall obtain; for all that you have mentioned will exactly happen to
+your worship, under the title of The Knight of the Rueful
+Countenance.’—‘Never doubt it, Sancho,’ replied Don Quixote; ‘for in
+the same manner, and by the same steps I have recounted, knights
+errant rise, and have risen to the rank of kings and emperors. Our
+only business now is to look out for some Christian or Pagan king
+who is at war, and hath a beautiful daughter; but there will be time
+to think of that, since, as I have already told thee, renown must be
+acquired elsewhere, before we repair to court; nay, another
+difficulty occurs, namely, that though we should find a king at war
+who has a beautiful daughter, after I shall have acquired incredible
+glory through the whole universe; I do not know how it can be proved
+that I am of royal extraction, or even second cousin to an emperor;
+and no king will grant his daughter to me in marriage, until he is
+first thoroughly satisfied in that particular, though my famous
+exploits should merit a much more valuable reward; wherefore, on
+account of this defect, I am afraid I shall lose that which the
+prowess of my arm may well deserve. True it is, I am a gentleman of
+an ancient and honourable family, not without property, possession,
+and a title to the revenge of the five hundred sueldos[65]; and it
+is not impossible, that the sage ordained to write my history, may
+furnish up my parentage and pedigree in such a manner, as to prove
+me descended in the fifteenth or sixteenth generation from a king;
+for I must tell thee, Sancho, there are two sorts of pedigree in the
+world; one that brings and derives its original from princes and
+monarchs, which time hath defaced by little and little, till at last
+it ends in a point like a pyramid; the other owes its beginning to
+people of mean degree, and increases gradually to nobility and
+power; so that the difference is, the one was once something, but is
+now nothing; and the other was once nothing, but is now something!
+perhaps, therefore, I may be one of the first mentioned division;
+and my origin, upon enquiry, be found high and mighty; a
+circumstance that ought to satisfy the king, who is to be my
+father-in-law; and if it should not have that effect, the infanta
+will be so enamoured of me, that in spite of her father, she will
+receive me as her lord and husband, even though she were certain of
+my being the son of a porter; but should she be shy, then is the
+time to carry her away by force, to any corner of the earth I shall
+chuse for my residence, until time or death shall put an end to the
+resentment of her parents.’
+
+‘And here,’ cried Sancho, ‘nothing can be more pat to the purpose, than
+what some of your unconscionable fellows often say, “Who would beg a
+benison, that for the taking may have venison[66]?” though it would
+still be more proper, if they had said, “Better thieve than grieve[67].”
+This I observe, that in case the king, your worship’s father-in-law,
+should not prevail upon himself to give you the infanta his daughter,
+you may, as your worship says, steal and convey her off by main force;
+but the misfortune is, that while the peace is on the anvil, and before
+you come to the peaceable enjoyment of your kingdom, the poor squire may
+chew his cud in expectation of his recompense, unless that confidante
+damsel, who is to be his spouse, should make her escape with the
+princess, and be content to join her evil fortune to his, until such
+time as Heaven shall ordain it otherwise; for I believe his master may
+very safely give her away in lawful marriage.’—‘That thou mayest depend
+upon,’ said Don Quixote. ‘Since it is so, then,’ answered Sancho, ‘we
+have nothing to do but recommend ourselves to God, and let fortune take
+its own course.’—‘The Lord conduct it,’ replied the knight, ‘according
+to my desires and my necessity; and small be his grace, who counts
+himself base.’—‘A God’s name be it so,’ said Sancho; ‘for my own part I
+am an old Christian, and therefore fit to be a lord.’—‘Aye, to be
+greater than a lord,’ answered Don Quixote; ‘and even if thou wast not
+so well qualified, it would be of no signification[68], because I being
+king, can confer nobility upon thee, without putting thee to the expence
+of purchasing, or of subjecting thyself to any kind of servitude; for,
+in creating thee an earl, behold thou art a gentleman at once; and let
+people say what they will, in good faith, they must call thee your
+lordship, if it should make their hearts ache.’—‘And do you reckon that
+I should not know how to give authority to the portent?’ said the
+squire. ‘Patent, thou wouldst say, and not portent,’ replied the knight.
+‘It may be so,’ answered Sancho; ‘but I insist upon it, that I should
+demean myself very decently; for once in my life-time I was beadle of a
+corporation, and the gown became me so well, that every body said I had
+the presence of a warden: then what shall I be when I am clothed in a
+ducal-robe, all glittering with pearls like a foreign count? Upon my
+conscience, I believe people will come a hundred leagues on purpose to
+see me.’—‘You will make a very good appearance,’ said Don Quixote; ‘but
+thou must take care to keep thy beard close shaved; for it is so thick,
+matted, and unseemly, that unless thou hast recourse to the razor, every
+second day at least, they will see what thou art a gun-shot off.’—‘What
+else have I to do,’ said the squire, ‘but to hire a barber, and keep him
+constantly in the house; and if I find occasion for it, even make him
+follow me as a master of the horse follows one of your grandees.’
+
+‘How do’st thou know,’ said Don Quixote, ‘that our grandees are attended
+by their masters of horse?’—‘That you shall be satisfied in,’ answered
+the squire: ‘heretofore I was a whole month at court, where I saw a very
+little gentleman, who they told me was a very great lord, passing to and
+fro, and a man following him a horseback, turning ever and anon as he
+turned, as if he had been the nobleman’s own tail: when I asked why the
+man did not overtake the other, but always kept behind him; they
+answered, that he was his master of horse, and that it was a fashion
+among the great, for each to be attended by an officer of that name.
+Ever since that time I have remembered their office so distinctly, that
+I believe I shall never forget it.’—‘I think thou art much in the
+right,’ said Don Quixote, ‘in resolving to carry thy barber along with
+thee; for customs come not all together, because they were not invented
+all at once; therefore thou mayest be the first earl that ever went
+attended by a shaver; and truly it is an office of greater confidence to
+trim the beard than to saddle the horse.’—‘Leave that affair of the
+barber to my management,’ said Sancho, ‘and be it your care to make
+yourself a king, and me an earl, with all convenient speed.’—‘That shall
+be done,’ replied the knight; who lifting up his eyes, perceived that
+which shall be recounted in the succeeding chapter.
+
+Footnote 64:
+
+ _Oregano_, in the original, signifies sweet marjoram; as if Sancho had
+ wished his master might find a nosegay, rather than a bloody nose.
+
+Footnote 65:
+
+ The Spaniards of old paid a tribute of five hundred sueldos, or pieces
+ of coin, to the Moors, until they were delivered from this imposition
+ by the gallantry of the gentlemen or people of rank, from which
+ exploit a Castilian of family used to express the nobility and worth
+ of his extraction, by saying he was of the revenge of the Sueldos.
+
+Footnote 66:
+
+ Literally, ‘Never beg when you can take.’
+
+Footnote 67:
+
+ In the original, ‘A snatch from behind a bush is better than the
+ prayer of good men.’
+
+Footnote 68:
+
+ This seems to have been intended as a stroke of satire against those
+ princes who sell nobility to the highest bidder, without any regard to
+ the merit of the purchaser.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VIII.
+ DON QUIXOTE SETS AT LIBERTY
+ A NUMBER OF UNFORTUNATE PEOPLE,
+ WHO, MUCH AGAINST THEIR WILLS,
+ WERE GOING ON A JOURNEY THAT WAS NOT AT ALL TO THEIR LIKING.
+
+
+Cid Hamet Benengeli, the Arabian and Manchegan author, recounts in this
+solemn, sublime, minute, pleasant, and fanciful history, that the
+conversation between the renowned Don Quixote, and his squire Sancho
+Panza, as related in the foregoing chapter, was no sooner concluded,
+than the knight lifting up his eyes, beheld upon the road before him
+about twelve men on foot, strung together like beads, with a great iron
+chain fastened to their necks, and he perceived shackles upon the arms
+of each. They were conducted by two men on horseback, and the like
+number on foot: the horsemen armed with firelocks, and the foot with
+javelins and swords. Sancho seeing them advance, ‘That,’ said he, ‘is
+the chain of slaves compelled by the king to work in the gallies.’—‘How,
+compelled!’ cried the knight; ‘is it possible the king compels people
+into his service?’—‘I don’t say so,’ answered Sancho; ‘those people are
+condemned for their crimes to serve in the king’s gallies on
+compulsion.’—‘In short,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘be that as it will, they
+go not voluntarily, but are driven by force.’—‘Certainly,’ said Sancho.
+‘Since that is the case,’ resumed his master, ‘here the execution of my
+office is concerned, to annul force, and bring succour to the
+miserable.’—‘Pray, good your worship, take notice that justice, which is
+the king himself, never uses violence nor severity to such people,
+except as a punishment for their crimes.’
+
+By this time the chain of galley-slaves being come up, Don Quixote, with
+much courtesy, desired the guards would be pleased to inform him of the
+cause or causes for which those people were treated in that manner: one
+of the horsemen replied, that they were slaves belonging to his majesty
+going to the gallies, and that was all he could say, or the enquirer had
+occasion to know of the matter. ‘Nevertheless,’ resumed the knight, ‘I
+am desirous of knowing from each in particular the occasion of his
+misfortune.’ To these be added other such courteous entreaties to induce
+them to satisfy his desire, that the other man on horseback said,
+‘Though we have got along with us the register and certificate of the
+sentence of each of those malefactors, we have no time at present to
+take it out and give you the reading of it; but if you have a mind to go
+and question themselves, they will answer every thing you ask, to the
+best of their knowledge; for they are a set of miscreants, who delight
+in recounting as well as in acting their roguery.’
+
+With this permission, which he would have taken if they had not granted
+it, Don Quixote approached the chain and asked of the foremost, for what
+offence he travelled in that equipage. ‘Only for being in love,’
+answered the criminal. ‘For that only!’ replied the knight. ‘If they
+condemn people for being in love, I might have been tugging in the
+gallies long ago.’—‘But my love,’ answered the slave, ‘was quite
+different from what your worship imagines. I fell deeply in love with a
+basket crammed full of white linen, and locked it so fast in my embrace,
+that if justice had not tore it from my arms by force, I should not have
+quitted it willingly to this good hour: the thing being flagrant, there
+was no room for putting me to the torture, and therefore the cause was
+soon discussed; my shoulders were accommodated with a cool hundred, I
+was advised to divert myself three years in the gurapas, and so the
+business ended.’—‘Pray what are the gurapas?’ said Don Quixote. ‘The
+gurapas are the gallies,’ answered the thief; who was a young fellow,
+about twenty years of age, and said he was a native of Piedrahita.
+
+The knight put the same question to the second, who seemed so
+overwhelmed with grief and melancholy, that he could not answer one
+word; but the first saved him the trouble, by saying, ‘This man, Sir,
+goes to the gallies for being a canary bird; I mean, for his skill in
+vocal musick.’—‘What!’ said the knight, ‘are people sentenced to the
+gallies for their skill in musick.’—‘Yes, Sir,’ answered the other, ‘for
+nothing is worse than to sing in the heart-ache.’—‘On the contrary,’
+said Don Quixote, ‘I have always heard it observed, that musick and play
+will fright sorrow away.’—‘But here,’ replied the slave, ‘the case is
+quite different; for he that sings but once will have cause to weep for
+ever.’ Don Quixote saying he could not comprehend his meaning, one of
+the guards explained it. ‘Sir,’ said he, ‘to sing in the heart-ache, is
+a term used by these miscreants to express a criminal who confesses
+under the torture; and it hath been applied to that delinquent, he owned
+his crime, which was horse-stealing; accordingly, having received two
+hundred lashes he was condemned for six years to the gallies, and he
+appears always pensive and sad, because his brother-rogues who keep him
+company, continually maltreat, upbraid, despise, and scoff at him, for
+having confessed out of pure pusillanimity. “For,” say they, “No
+contains as many letters as Ay: an offender is very lucky, when his life
+or death depends upon his own tongue, and not upon the evidence of
+witnesses;” and truly I think they are not far mistaken.’
+
+‘I am of the same opinion,’ said Don Quixote; and passing on, repeated
+his former question to the third, who, with great readiness and
+alacrity, answered, ‘I am going to pay a visit of five years to Lady
+Gurapa, for having wanted ten ducats.’—‘I will give twenty with all my
+soul,’ replied the knight, ‘to ease you of your misfortune.’—‘That,’
+resumed the slave, ‘is like giving money to a man perishing with hunger
+at sea, where there is no food to be bought. I say this, because had I
+been master in time of those twenty ducats your worship now offers, I
+would have anointed the secretary’s pen, and quickened my lawyer’s
+invention with them, to so good purpose, that I should be now standing
+at liberty in the square of Zocodover in Toledo, and not dragging like a
+hound to the gallies; but Heaven is above—Patience and—that is enough.’
+
+Don Quixote then advanced to the fourth, who was a man of a venerable
+aspect, with a long white beard hanging down to his girdle; and he no
+sooner heard the knight ask the cause of his being in that situation,
+than he began to weep bitterly, without answering one word; but the
+fifth criminal lent him his tongue, saying, ‘That honourable gentleman
+is going to the gallies for four years, after having made his publick
+appearance on horseback with great solemnity.’—‘That is, I suppose,’
+said Sancho, ‘after having been exposed to publick shame[69].’—‘Even
+so,’ replied the slave, ‘and that punishment was inflicted upon him for
+being an ear-broker, or rather a broker for the whole body: to be plain
+with you, the gentleman was convicted of pimping, and giving himself out
+for a conjurer.’—‘Were it not for the addition of his conjuring scheme,’
+said Don Quixote, ‘he is so far from deserving to row in the gallies for
+pure pimping, that it rather intitles him to the command of them[70], as
+general in chief; for if the office of a pander was well regulated, it
+would be a most honourable and necessary employment in a well-ordered
+commonwealth, reserved for people of birth and talents, and like the
+other places of trust, laid under the inspection of proper comptrollers,
+and limited to a certain number, like the brokers of merchandize: such a
+regulation would prevent many mischiefs, which are now occasioned by
+that employment’s being in the hands of idiots or simple wretches, such
+as silly women, pages, and buffoons, without either age or experience;
+who, upon the most urgent occasions, when there is need of the most
+important contrivance, let the morsel freeze between the dish and the
+mouth, and can scarce distinguish betwixt their right-hands and their
+left. I could proceed and advance many arguments to prove how
+advantageous it would be in a commonwealth to make proper distinctions
+in the choice of those who exercise such a necessary employment; but
+this is no place to settle that affair in; and one day I may chance to
+recommend it to the consideration of those who can both discern and
+provide a suitable remedy for this defect. I shall only at present
+observe, that the compassion I feel at sight of these grey hairs, and
+that venerable countenance in distress for having been a pander, is
+extinguished by the additional crime of sorcery; though I am well
+apprized there are no conjurers in the world, who can force or alter the
+will, as some weak minded people imagine: for the inclination is free,
+and not to be enslaved by any incantation whatsoever. The practice of
+some simple women, and knavish impostors, is to compose poisonous
+mixtures, to deprive people of their senses, under pretence of causing
+them to be beloved; it being a thing impossible, as I have said, to
+compel the will.’—‘What your honour says is very true,’ replied the good
+old man; ‘and really, Sir, as to the affair of conjuring, I am not
+guilty; though I cannot deny that I have been a pimp; but I never
+thought I was to blame in that capacity, because my whole intention was,
+that all the world should enjoy themselves, and live in peace and quiet
+without quarrels and anxiety. Yet the uprightness of my intention was of
+no service in preventing my being sent to a place from which I shall
+never return, oppressed as I am with years and a violent strangury, that
+will not allow me a moment’s rest.’ So saying, he began to weep again,
+as before; and his tears raised the pity of Sancho to such a degree,
+that he took a rial out of his bosom, and gave it in charity to the
+distressed senior.
+
+Then Don Quixote addressed himself to the next, who answered his
+question, not with less, but infinitely more vivacity than that of the
+former; saying, ‘I trudge in this manner, for having jested a little
+extravagantly with two of my female cousins, and with two more, who,
+though not related to me, were in the same degree of blood to each
+other: in short, I jested with them so long, that in the end there was
+such an intricate increase of kindred as no casuist could unravel. Every
+thing was proved against me, I had neither interest nor money, and ran
+some risk of having my windpipe stopped; but they only condemned me for
+six years to the gallies; I submitted to the sentence, as the punishment
+of my crime: youth is on my side, life may be long, and time brings
+every thing to bear; if your worship, Sir knight, will part with any
+small matter for the comfort of poor wretches like us, God will requite
+you in heaven, and we upon earth will take care to petition him for long
+life and health to your worship, that you may be as happy as by your
+goodly appearance you deserve to be.’ The person who spoke in this
+manner appeared in the dress of a student, and one of the guards said he
+was a great orator and excellent Latin scholar.
+
+After all these came a man of a good mien, about thirty years of age,
+who squinted so horribly, that his eyes seemed to look at each other: he
+was equipped in a very different manner from the rest; his foot being
+loaded with a huge chain that went round his whole body, and his neck
+adorned with two iron rings, to one of which the chain was fastened; and
+the other was called a keep-friend, or friend’s-foot; from which
+descended to his middle a couple of iron bolts fitted with a pair of
+manacles for his arms, secured by a large padlock, in such a fashion, as
+to hinder him from lifting up his hands to his mouth, and to disable him
+from bending his head to his hands. Don Quixote enquiring why that man
+was more fettered than all the rest, one of the guard answered, ‘Because
+he is a greater rogue than all the rest put together, and so daring a
+villain, that although he is shackled in that manner, we are under some
+apprehension that he will give us the slip.’—‘What crime has he
+committed,’ said the knight, ‘that deserves no greater punishment than
+that of going to the gallies?’—‘He goes for ten years,’ replied the
+guard, ‘which is a kind of civil death; but you need not enquire any
+farther, when you know that this honest gentleman is the famous Gines de
+Passamonte, alias Genisello de Parapilla.’—‘Softly, Mr. Commissary,’
+said the slave, hearing these words, ‘don’t transmography names and
+sir-names in that manner. Gines is my name, and not Ginesello, and
+Passamonte the title of my family; not Parapilla, as your worship says:
+let every body turn about and look at home, and he will have business
+enough.’—‘Speak with less insolence, Mr. Thief above sterling,’ replied
+the commissary, ‘or else I shall make you hold your peace with a
+vengeance.’—‘It appears by this oppression,’ answered the galley-slave,
+‘that God’s will must be done; but one day somebody shall know whether
+or not my name is Ginesello de Parapilla.’—‘An’t you called so, you
+lying vagabond?’ said the guard. ‘Yes, yes, I am so called,’ answered
+Gines; ‘but I will make them change that name, or their skins shall pay
+for it, if ever I meet them in a place I don’t chuse at present to
+name.—Sir knight, if you have any thing to bestow, pray let us have it,
+and the Lord be with you, for you only tire us with enquiring about
+other people’s affairs; if you want to be informed of my history, know,
+I am that Gines de Passamonte, whose life is written by these ten
+fingers.’
+
+‘He tells nothing but the truth,’ said the commissary; ‘for he has
+actually written his own history, as well as could be desired, and
+pawned the manuscript in gaol for two hundred rials.’—‘Aye, and I shall
+redeem it,’ said Gines, ‘if it were for as many ducats.’—‘What! is it so
+entertaining?’ said Don Quixote. ‘Yes,’ answered Gines, ‘it is so
+entertaining, that woe be unto Lazarillo de Tormes, and all who have
+written or shall write in that manner. What I can affirm of mine is,
+that it contains truths, and such ingenious and savoury truths, as no
+fiction can equal.’—‘And what is the title of your book?’ said the
+knight. ‘The Life of Gines de Passamonte,’ replied the other. ‘Is it
+finished?’ said Don Quixote. ‘How can it be finished,’ answered the
+author, ‘when my natural life is not yet concluded? I have already
+written my whole history from my birth till the last time I was sent to
+the gallies.’—‘You have visited them before now then?’ said the knight.
+‘For the service of God, and the good of my country, I have already
+served in them, during the space of four years, and know the difference
+between the biscuit and the bull’s pizzle,’ answered the thief; ‘and my
+journey to them now gives me no great pain, for there I shall have time
+to finish my book, and set down a great many things I have to say: there
+being spare time enough in the gallies of Spain for that purpose, which
+does not require much leisure, as I have every circumstance by
+heart.’—‘You seem to be an ingenious fellow,’ said Don Quixote. ‘And
+unfortunate,’ answered Gines; ‘for genius is always attended by evil
+fortune.’—‘Evil fortune ought to attend villains like you,’ said the
+guard. ‘I have already desired you, Mr. Commissary, to proceed fair and
+softly,’ answered Passamonte; ‘your superiors did not give you that rod
+to maltreat us poor wretches, but to conduct and carry us to the place
+of our destination, according to his majesty’s command: and by the life
+of—but ’tis no matter. The spots we received in the inn, may one day be
+rubbed out in washing. Mum’s the word. Let us live while we can, speak
+while we may, and at present pursue our journey; for this joke has
+already lasted too long.’
+
+The commissary lifted up his rod, in order to give a proper reply to the
+threats of Passamonte; but Don Quixote interposing, begged he would not
+chastise him; because it was not to be wondered at, if one whose limbs
+were so shackled, should take such liberties with his tongue: then
+addressing himself to the prisoners, ‘From all that you have told me,
+dear brethren,’ said he, ‘I clearly perceive, that although you ought to
+be chastised for your crimes, the punishment you are going to suffer is
+not much to your liking; on the contrary, you make this journey very
+much against your inclination; and perhaps, the pusillanimity of one of
+you under the torture, this man’s want of money, and that others
+scarcity of friends, and last of all, the partiality of the judge, may
+have been the cause of your perdition, in depriving you of that justice
+your several cases entitled you to. Which consideration now operates
+within me, suggesting, persuading, and even compelling me to shew in
+your behalf, the end and aim for which Heaven sent me into this world,
+and made me profess the order of knight-errantry, by which I am bound by
+oath, to succour the needy and oppressed; but because I know, that one
+maxim of prudence is, not to do that by foul means which can be
+accomplished by fair, I beseech Mr. Commissary and the guards to unchain
+and let you depart in peace. The king will not want people to serve him
+on better occasions; and I think it is very hard to enslave those whom
+God and nature have made free. Besides, gentlemen soldiers,’ added the
+knight, ‘those poor people have committed no offence against you: and
+every body hath sins to answer for. There is a God in heaven, who will
+take care to chastise the wicked and reward the righteous: and it is not
+seemly, that honest men should be the executioners of their
+fellow-creatures, on account of matters with which they have no concern.
+This favour I entreat in a mild and peaceable manner; and if you grant
+my request, will thank you heartily: whereas, if you refuse to do
+quietly what I desire, this lance and sword, with the valour of my
+invincible arm, shall make you do it on compulsion.’
+
+‘A fine joke, truly!’ replied the commissary; ‘he has brought his
+harangue to a very merry conclusion; desiring us to set at liberty the
+king’s prisoners, as if we had authority to grant, or he to demand,
+their discharge. I wish your worship would go about your business, and
+set to rights that bason on your skull, without going in quest of a cat
+with three feet.’—‘You are a cat, and a rat, and a scoundrel to boot!’
+replied the knight, attacking him with such wonderful dispatch, that he
+had not time to put himself in a posture of defence, so was thrown from
+his horse, dangerously wounded by a thrust of the knight’s lance. And it
+happened luckily that this was one of the two who had firelocks. The
+rest of the guard were at first astonished and confounded at this
+unexpected assault; but they soon recollected themselves, and the
+horsemen drawing their swords, while those on foot handled their
+javelins, set upon Don Quixote in their turn, who waited for them with
+vast composure; and doubtless he would have fared ill, if the
+galley-slaves, seeing a fair occasion offered of gaining their liberty,
+had not made shift to obtain it, by breaking the chain with which they
+were fettered. Such was the confusion, that the guards, between their
+endeavours to detain the slaves that were unbound, and their efforts
+against Don Quixote who assaulted them, could do nothing at all
+effectual. Sancho, for his part, assisted in disengaging Gines de
+Passamonte, who being the first that leaped free and disencumbered on
+the plain, attacked the wounded commissary, and robbed him of his sword
+and musket, with which pointing at one, and taking aim at another,
+without firing, however, in a trice there was not one of the guards to
+be seen; for they made the best of their way, not only from Passamonte’s
+firelock, but also from the shower of stones which was rained upon them
+by the rest of the slaves, who had by this time disengaged themselves.
+
+Sancho was infinitely grieved at this event, representing to himself,
+that those who fled would instantly give notice of the affair to the
+holy brotherhood, which, upon the tolling of a bell, would immediately
+sally forth in search of the delinquents. This supposition he suggested
+to his master, whom he entreated to depart forthwith, and conceal
+himself somewhere in the neighbouring mountain. ‘That may be a very good
+expedient,’ said the knight; ‘but I know what is proper for me to do at
+present.’ He then called to the slaves, who were all in confusion, and
+after they had plundered and stripped the commissary to the skin, they
+assembled round him in a circle in order to receive his commands, and he
+accosted them in this manner: ‘It is the duty of honest men to be
+thankful for benefits received: and one of the sins that gives the
+greatest offence to God, is ingratitude. This truth I observe,
+gentlemen, because you must be sensible, by manifest experience, of that
+which you have received from me; as an acknowledgment for which, it is
+my will and pleasure, that you set out immediately, loaded with that
+chain from which I have delivered your neck, and repairing to the city
+of Toboso; there present yourselves before the lady Dulcinea del Toboso,
+and tell her that her Knight of the Rueful Countenance hath sent you to
+her, with his hearty commendations. You shall also punctually recount to
+her every circumstance of this famous adventure, even to the granting
+you that liberty you so ardently wished for: and this duty being
+performed, you may go a God’s name whithersoever ye list.’
+
+To this command Gines de Passamonte, in the name of all the rest,
+answered, ‘What your worship commands, most worthy deliverer, is of all
+impossibilities the most impossible to fulfil. For we must by no means
+travel in a body, but single and divided, and each by himself endeavour
+to abscond within the bowels of the earth, in order to avoid the holy
+brotherhood, which will doubtless come out in search of us. But your
+worship may, and it is but justice you should, change that service and
+tribute intended for my lady Dulcinea del Toboso, into a certain number
+of Ave maria’s and Credo’s, which we will say for your prosperity; and
+this is a duty we can fulfil by night as well as by day, in motion and
+at rest, and in peace as well as in war: but to suppose that we will now
+return to the flesh-pots of Egypt, I mean, to the carriage of our chain,
+and take the road to Toboso, is to suppose that it is now midnight,
+though it wants little more than two hours of noon; and indeed, to
+expect this condescension of us, is like expecting pears from an elm.’
+
+‘Then, by heavens!’ said Don Quixote in a rage, ‘Don Son of a Whore, Don
+Ginesello de Parapilla, or whatsoever is thy name, you shall go alone,
+with your tail between your legs, and carry the whole chain upon your
+own shoulders.’ Passamonte, who was none of the most passive people in
+the world, having already smoaked the knight’s weak side, from the mad
+action he had committed in giving them their freedom, and finding
+himself treated by him in this haughty manner, tipped the wink to his
+companions; who retiring with him at a little distance, began to shower
+forth such a number of stones upon their deliverer, that he could not
+contrive how to cover himself with his shield; and poor Rozinante minded
+the spur no more than if he had been made of brass. Sancho retired
+behind his ass, which sheltered him from the storm of hail that
+descended on them both; but his master could not screen himself so well,
+as to avoid an infinite number of pebble-shot which took place upon
+different parts of his body, some of them with such force, that he came
+tumbling to the ground; and no sooner was he fallen, than the student
+set upon him, and snatching the bason from his head, made a most furious
+application of it to the knight’s shoulders, and then dashed it upon the
+ground with such force, that it went into a thousand pieces. They
+likewise stripped him of a jacket[71] he wore above his armour; and
+would even have taken his hose, had not his greaves been in the way:
+they plundered Sancho of his great coat, leaving him in his doublet and
+hose; and dividing the spoils of the battle among them, each took his
+own separate route, more anxious to escape the holy brotherhood, which
+they dreaded, than to load themselves with the chain again, and go to
+present themselves before the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso.
+
+The ass and Rozinante, Sancho and Don Quixote, were the only persons
+remaining on the field. Dapple, with his head hanging down in a pensive
+attitude, and every now and then shaking his ears, as if he imagined the
+hurricane of stones that whizzed about them was not yet over; Rozinante
+lying stretched upon the ground, to which, like his master, he was
+humbled by a pebble: Sancho, in his doublet, terrified at the thoughts
+of the holy brotherhood; and Don Quixote excessively out of humour, at
+seeing himself so ill requited by those people whom he had served in
+such an essential manner.
+
+Footnote 69:
+
+ A crime that is punished by the pillory in England, is in Spain
+ expiated by the convict’s being mounted upon an ass, in a particular
+ dress, and led through the streets by a crier, who proclaims the
+ transgression.
+
+Footnote 70:
+
+ This is a good hint for a reforming legislature.
+
+Footnote 71:
+
+ It was the custom of knights to wear a coat of arms made of some rich
+ stuff figured in a particular manner. The Duke of Brabant being called
+ in a hurry to the battle of Agincourt, took a trumpeter’s banner, and
+ making a hole through the middle, put it over his head, and wore it as
+ his coat of arms.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IX.
+ OF WHAT BEFEL THE RENOWNED DON QUIXOTE IN THE BROWN MOUNTAIN;
+ BEING ONE OF THE MOST SURPRIZING ADVENTURES
+ WHICH IS RECOUNTED IN THIS TRUE HISTORY.
+
+
+Don Quixote, finding himself so evil entreated, said to his squire, ‘I
+have always heard it observed, Sancho, that benefits conferred on
+base-minded people are like drops of water thrown into the sea. Had I
+taken thy advice, I might have avoided this vexation: but, now the
+affair is over, we must have recourse to patience, and take warning for
+the future.’—‘Yes,’ replied Sancho, ‘your worship will take warning as
+sure as I am a Turk; but, since you allow, that if you had taken my
+advice, you would have avoided this misfortune, take my advice now, and
+you avoid a greater still! for I give you notice, that all your errantry
+will stand you in little stead against the holy brotherhood, who don’t
+value all the knights-errant in the universe three farthings: and, in
+faith, this minute methinks I hear their arrows buzzing about my
+ears.’—‘Thou art naturally a coward, Sancho,’ said the knight; ‘but that
+thou mayest have no reason to say I am obstinate, and never follow thy
+counsel, for once thou shalt prevail; I will retreat from the danger
+thou dreadest so much; but it shall be on condition, that thou shalt
+never, either in life or death, hint to any person whatsoever, that I
+retired and avoided this peril through fear, but merely in compliance
+with thy earned request; for to say otherwise would be to propagate
+falsehood; and from this hour to that, and from that hour to this, I
+give thee the lye, and affirm thou lyest, and wilt lye as often as thou
+shalt say or think any such thing: make no reply, therefore; the very
+thought of my being supposed to abscond, or retreat from danger,
+especially from this, as it implies some sort of shadow of fear,
+inspires me with such courage, that here am I alone, ready to remain,
+and expect not only the holy brotherhood, which thou hast mentioned with
+fear and trembling, but also the brothers of the twelve tribes of
+Israel, those of the seven Maccabees, with Castor and Pollux, and all
+the brethren and brotherhoods in the universe.’—‘Sir,’ replied Sancho,
+‘to retreat is not to fly; nor is it prudent to tarry when the danger
+overbalances the hope, and it is always the practice of wise people, to
+reserve something for to-morrow, without venturing all upon one cast;
+and you must know, that though I be a rustick and a clown, I have all my
+life-time had a small share of what is called good conduct; wherefore
+you need not repent of having taken my advice, but mount Rozinante, if
+you can; if not, I will lend you my assistance, and follow me; for this
+noddle of mine tells me, that, at present, we have more need of heels
+than of hands.’
+
+Don Quixote accordingly mounted, without the least reply; and Sancho
+leading the way upon his ass, they took refuge in that part of the brown
+mountain which was nearest, the squire intending to go quite across to
+Viso or Almodavar del Campo, after they should have lurked for some days
+amongst the rocks, that they might not be found, in case the holy
+brotherhood should come in search of them: he was encouraged to this
+resolution, by seeing, that in the scuffle with the galley slaves, the
+provisions his ass carried had escaped untouched[72]; a circumstance
+that, in his opinion, amounted to a miracle, considering what the
+thieves had taken, and how narrowly they had searched.
+
+That evening they arrived in the very heart of the Sierra Morena[73],
+where Sancho proposed to spend the night, and even to pass a few days,
+at least to stay as long as their store should last: accordingly they
+took up their lodging between two rocks in the midst of a great number
+of cork-trees; but fate, which, according to the opinion of those who do
+not enjoy the light of the true faith, guides, conducts, and disposes
+all things after its own way, ordained that Gines de Passamonte, that
+famous robber and cheat, who had been delivered from the chain by the
+valour and madness of Don Quixote; I say, fate ordained that he,
+impelled by the fear of the holy brotherhood, which he did not dread
+without good reason happened likewise to take refuge in those mountains;
+and even to be carried by this fear to the same place whither the same
+principle had directed Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, just time enough to
+know who they were, notwithstanding their being gone to sleep. As the
+wicked are always ungrateful, and necessity puts them to their shifts,
+and the present convenience overcomes the prospect of future quiet;
+Gines, who was neither grateful nor good-natured, resolved to steal
+Sancho’s ass, undervaluing Rozinante, as a subject that he could neither
+pawn nor sell: accordingly, while the squire was asleep, he stole
+Dapple; and, before morning, was gone far enough to elude all pursuit.
+
+[Illustration: Sancho’s Ass Stolen As They Sleep.]
+
+The appearance of Aurora that rejoices the earth, had a quite contrary
+effect upon Sancho Panza; who, missing his Dapple, and searching for him
+in vain, began to utter the most woeful lamentation that ever was heard;
+and Don Quixote, waked by the noise, heard him exclaiming in this
+manner: ‘O son of my bowels! born in my house, the play fellow of my
+children, the delight of my spouse, the envy of my neighbours, and
+comforter of my cares! in short, the half of my sustenance: for with six
+and twenty maravedis, which thou hast daily earned, did I defray one
+half of my family-expence!’ Don Quixote hearing this complaint, and
+being informed of the cause, consoled Sancho with all the arguments in
+his power; and, begging him to have patience, promised to give him a
+bill of exchange, on sight of which he should receive three asses out of
+five, which the knight had left at home. Sancho being comforted with
+this declaration, dried up his tears, moderated his sighs, and returned
+a thousand thanks to Don Quixote for his generosity. As they sauntered
+among the rocks, the knight’s heart was rejoiced to see places so well
+adapted to those adventures he was in quest of; for they recalled to his
+remembrance those wonderful events which had happened to knights-errant
+among such rocks and solitudes: he went on, musing on these subjects,
+and indeed so wrapped up and engrossed by them, that he minded nothing
+else; while Sancho’s only care, now that he thought he travelled in
+safety, was to satisfy his appetite with what remained of the spoils of
+the clergy; he therefore jogged on leisurely after his master, sitting
+side-ways on his ass[74], and replenishing his own bags out of that
+which contained the provision; and while he was thus employed, would not
+have given a farthing for the best adventure that could happen.
+
+Chancing, however, to lift up his eyes, he perceived his master had
+stopped, and was endeavouring, with the point of his lance to raise some
+bundle that lay upon the ground; he therefore hastened up to him, in
+order to lend his assistance, should it be found necessary; and arrived
+just as the knight had turned up with his lance, a pillion with a
+portmanteau fixed to it, all rotted and consumed by the weather; but so
+heavy, that Sancho was obliged to alight, in order to take them up. His
+master having ordered him to examine the contents of the portmanteau, he
+obeyed with great alacrity, and though it was shut with a chain and
+padlock, there were so many holes in it, that he soon reached the
+inside, where he found four shirts of fine holland, with other provision
+of linen, equally fashionable and clean, together with a pretty large
+heap of crowns of gold, wrapped up in a rag; which he no sooner
+perceived, than he cried in a rapture, ‘Blessed be Heaven for granting
+us one advantageous adventure!’ then continuing his search, he found a
+pocket-book richly garnished, which Don Quixote desired to have, bidding
+him keep the money for his own use. Sancho kissed his hand for the
+favour, and taking the linen out of the portmanteau, crammed it into the
+bag that held their provision.
+
+The knight having considered the whole affair, ‘Sancho,’ said he, ‘I am
+of opinion, and I cannot possibly be mistaken, that some bewildered
+traveller, in his passage over these mountains, has been set upon by
+robbers, who having slain him, must have dragged his body to be buried
+in this unfrequented place.’—‘That cannot be the case,’ answered the
+squire; ‘for if they had been robbers, they would not have left the
+money behind them.’—‘Thou art in the right,’ said Don Quixote; ‘and I
+cannot guess nor conceive what the matter can have been. Let us see if
+there be any thing written in this pocket-book, by which we may trace
+out and come to the certainty of what we want to know.’ He opened it
+accordingly, and the first thing he found was the rough draught, though
+very legible, of a sonnet, which he read aloud for the benefit of
+Sancho, in these words.
+
+
+ I.
+
+ Love either cruel is or blind;
+ Or still unequal to the cause,
+ Is this distemper of the mind,
+ That with infernal torture gnaws.
+
+ II.
+
+ But Love’s a god, and cruelty
+ In heavenly breasts can never dwell:
+ Then say by what authority,
+ I’m doom’d to feel the pains of hell?
+
+ III.
+
+ Of all my sufferings and my woe,
+ Is Chloe then the fatal source?
+ Sure ill from good can never flow,
+ Nor so much beauty gild a curse.
+
+ IV.
+
+ With hopeless misery weigh’d down,
+ I’ll seek for quiet in the grave;
+ For when the malady’s unknown,
+ A miracle alone can save.
+
+‘From such rhyme,’ said Sancho, ‘there is no information to be
+got, unless by that Clue we could come to the bottom of the
+affair[75].’—‘What clue dost thou mean?’ said the knight. ‘The
+Clue your worship mentioned just now in the sonnet,’ answered the
+squire. ‘I mentioned no clue,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘but Chloe,
+which is without doubt the name of the lady of whom the author of
+these verses complains; and really he must have been a very
+ingenious poet, or else I know very little of the art.’—‘Then your
+worship understands crambo?’ said the squire. ‘Better than you
+imagine,’ answered the knight, ‘as you will see when you carry
+from me a letter to my mistress Dulcinea del Toboso, written in
+verse from top to bottom; for thou must know, Sancho, that all, or
+the greatest part of the knights-errant who lived in former ages,
+were very much addicted to poetry and musick; these two qualities,
+or rather gifts of nature, being annexed to all errants in love;
+though the truth is, their couplets were rather sprightly than
+elegant.’—‘I wish your worship would read on,’ said Sancho;
+‘perhaps you may find something more to our satisfaction.’
+Accordingly the knight having turned over the leaf, ‘Here is
+prose,’ said he; ‘and seems to be a letter.’ Sancho asking if it
+was upon business, his master replied, ‘In the beginning there was
+nothing but love.’—‘Pray, Sir,’ cried Sancho, ‘read it aloud; for
+I am highly delighted with matters of love.’—‘With all my heart,’
+answered Don Quixote; who raising his voice, in compliance with
+the squire’s request, read what follows.
+
+ ‘Thy false promises, together with the certainty of my misfortune,
+ have exiled me to a corner of the world, from whence thou wilt hear
+ an account of my death, before this my complaint shall reach thine
+ ears. Thou hast cast me off, ungrateful as thou art, in favour of
+ one who, though he is richer, is not a more deserving lover than me:
+ for if virtue were the wealth that is most esteemed, I should have
+ no cause to envy the happiness of others, or to bewail my own
+ mishap. What thy beauty had raised, thy behaviour has overthrown: by
+ the first I mistook thee for an angel; by the last I discovered thee
+ to be a woman. Mayest thou live in peace, fair authoress of my
+ misfortunes; and Heaven grant that the deceit of thy husband may
+ never be disclosed, that thou mayest never repent of what thou hast
+ done, nor I enjoy the revenge I do not desire!’
+
+Don Quixote having read this letter, observed that nothing else could be
+inferred either from it, or the verses, but that the author was some
+despairing lover. Then perusing the rest of the book, he found more
+verses and letters, some legible, and others not intelligible; but the
+substance of them all was composed of complaints, lamentations,
+suspicions, desires, disgusts, favours, and disdain, some of which were
+extolled, and others deplored. While Don Quixote examined the book,
+Sancho rummaged the portmanteau, without leaving a corner in that of the
+pillion which he did not search, pry into, and overhaul; no seam was
+left unripped, no lock of wool unpicked, that nothing might be lost
+through negligence and want of care; so much was his cupidity awakened,
+by finding the money, which amounted to more than a hundred crowns; and
+though he reaped no other fruit from his industry, he thought himself
+abundantly requited for his capers in the blanket, his vomit of the
+balsam, the benediction of the pack-staves, the fisty-cuffs of the
+carrier, the loss of his bags, the robbery of his great coat, with all
+the hunger, thirst, and fatigue he had undergone in the service of his
+worthy master, who had made him more than amends by his generous present
+of this windfall.
+
+The knight of the rueful countenance was impatient to know the owner of
+the portmanteau; conjecturing by the sonnet, the letter, the gold, and
+the fine linen, that he must be some lover of quality, whom the disdain
+and barbarity of his mistress had driven to some desperate end: but, as
+in that uninhabited and rocky place, there was nobody who could give him
+the information he wanted, he resolved to penetrate still farther into
+the mountain, without taking any other road than what Rozinante should
+chuse for his own conveniency, still confident of meeting with some
+strange adventure among these briars and brambles.
+
+As he went on, entertaining himself with these reflections, he perceived
+upon the top of a hill right before him, a man skipping from bush to
+bush, and rock to rock, with wonderful agility; his body seemed naked,
+his beard black and bushy, his hair long and matted, his feet unshod,
+his legs bare, and his thighs covered with breeches, which to all
+appearance were of crimson, but so ragged, that his skin appeared
+through many different holes, while his head was without any sort of
+covering. Notwithstanding the nimbleness with which he passed, all these
+minute circumstances were seen and remarked by the knight of the rueful
+countenance, who in vain attempted to follow him; those rough roads
+being quite unpassable by the feeble Rozinante, who was naturally
+phlegmatick and tender-footed. However, Don Quixote concluded that this
+must be the owner of the pillion and portmanteau, and determined within
+himself to find him out, although he should travel a whole year through
+the mountains for that very purpose. With this view he ordered Sancho to
+alight, and take a short cut over one part of the mountain, while he
+should go round the other; and by this expedient they might come up with
+the man who had so suddenly vanished from their sight. ‘That proposal I
+can by no means comply with,’ answered the squire; ‘for if I stir but an
+inch from your worship, fear instantly lays hold on me, and assaults me
+in a thousand horrid shapes and visions; and let this serve to apprize
+you, that henceforward, I will not budge a finger’s breadth from your
+presence.’—‘Be it so,’ said he of the rueful countenance; ‘and I am very
+glad that thou canst avail thyself of my courage, which shall never fail
+thee, even if thy soul should fail thy body; follow me, therefore, step
+by step, or at thy own leisure; and use thine eyes like two spy glasses;
+we will take a compass round this little mountain, and perhaps we may
+meet again with that man, who is certainly no other than the owner of
+what we found.’ To this observation Sancho replied, ‘Methinks we may
+save ourselves that trouble; for if, upon finding him, he should prove
+to be the owner of the money, I must of course make restitution;
+therefore we had better spare all this fruitless search; and keep it
+_bona fide_, until the true owner appear of himself, without all this
+intricate enquiry: and before that happens, perhaps I shall have spent
+the whole, and then I shall be discharged by law.’—‘In that notion thou
+art mistaken, Sancho,’ resumed the knight; ‘for as we have already good
+grounds to believe he is the owner, it is our duty to find him out, and
+restore what we have taken; and though we should not find him, the
+strong reason we have to believe that it belongs to him will make us
+equally guilty in detaining it, as we should be if it really did.
+Wherefore, friend Sancho, do not give thyself any uneasiness about the
+enquiry; because if we find him, I shall be freed from a great deal of
+anxiety.’ So saying, he put spurs to Rozinante, and Sancho followed him
+in his usual manner. Having surrounded part of the mountain, they found
+in a brook that watered the foot of it, a dead mule saddled and bridled,
+and half consumed by the dogs and crows; another circumstance which
+confirmed them in the opinion, that he who fled from them was master
+both of the mule and portmanteau.
+
+While they were looking at this object, they heard a shepherd’s whistle,
+and presently on the left appeared a good number of goats, and behind
+them, on the top of the mountain, they descried the goatherd, who seemed
+to be a man in years. Don Quixote calling aloud, entreated him to come
+down; and he, in the same tone, asked what had brought them to that
+place, which was seldom trodden, except by the feet of goats, wolves,
+and other wild beasts that harboured thereabouts? Sancho bade him come
+down, and they would tell him what had brought them thither; upon which
+the goatherd descended, and coming up to Don Quixote, ‘I will wager,’
+said he, ‘that you are looking at the hireling mule, which lies dead in
+that bottom, where in good sooth it hath lain full six months. Pray,
+have you met with its master?’—‘We have met with nothing,’ answered the
+knight, ‘but a pillion and portmanteau, which we found not far from
+hence.’—‘I have often seen the same things,’ replied the goatherd, ‘but
+would never touch nor go near them, being afraid of some misfortune, or
+of being questioned for theft; for the devil is very cunning, and raises
+blocks under our feet, over which we stumble, and very often fall,
+without knowing how or wherefore.’—‘That is the very thing I say,’
+answered Sancho, ‘though I saw them also, I would not go within a
+stone’s throw of them; there I left them, and there they remain as they
+were; for I don’t chuse to steal a dog with a collar about his
+neck[76].’—‘Pr’ythee, honest friend,’ said Quixote, ‘dost thou know who
+the owner of these things is?’—‘All that I can say of the matter,’
+answered the goatherd, ‘is, that it may be about six months, more or
+less, since there came to our hut, which is about three leagues from
+hence, a very genteel young man of a comely appearance, riding upon that
+very mule that now lies dead, with the same pillion and portmanteau
+which you say you found. He asked what part of the mountain was the most
+woody and concealed, and we told him, that it was this very spot where
+we now are; and it is so, for if you go half a league farther into the
+mountain, you will perhaps find it a very difficult matter to return:
+and I marvel much how you have got so far, for there is neither
+high-road nor by-path that leads to this place. But as I was saying, the
+young man hearing our reply, turned his mule, and rode towards the place
+to which we had directed him, leaving us all very much pleased with his
+appearance, though not a little surprized at his question, and the speed
+with which we saw him ride back, into the heart of the mountain: from
+that time we saw no more of him, till a few days after; when he sprung
+upon one of our shepherds on the road; and, without saying why or
+wherefore, beat and bruised him unmercifully; after which he went to the
+sumpter ass, and carrying off all the bread and cheese that was on his
+back, with surprizing nimbleness, ran back again to the thicket. As soon
+as we understood this particular, several of us goatherds went in search
+of him, through the most wild and unfrequented part of the mountain, for
+the space of two days, at the end of which we found him lying in the
+hollow of a large cork-tree. He came out to us in a very civil manner,
+with his cloaths all torn, and his face so tanned and disfigured by the
+sun, that we should scarce have known him, had not his cloaths, tattered
+as they were, which we had before taken particular notice of, assured us
+that he was the person we went in search of. He saluted us very
+courteously, and in a few words, though very well chosen, bade us not
+wonder at seeing him in that condition; for he was obliged in that
+manner to do penance, which had been enjoined him, on account of his
+manifold sins and transgressions. We earnestly begged to know who he
+was; but that he never could be prevailed upon to tell: we desired him
+also, whenever he should have occasion for food, without which he could
+not live, to tell us where we should find him, and we would bring it to
+him with great care and affection; or if that was not to his liking, we
+desired him to ask it civilly, without taking it by force. He thanked us
+kindly for our tenders of service, begged pardon for the assaults he had
+committed, and promised for the future, to ask it for God’s sake,
+without giving offence to any person whatsoever. With regard to the
+place of his habitation, he said, he had no other than that which chance
+presented every night when it grew dark; and concluded his discourse
+with such piteous lamentation, that our hearts must have been made of
+flint, if we could have heard it without shedding tears, considering the
+woeful change he had undergone since we saw him at first: for as I have
+already observed, he was a genteel, comely youth, and by his courteous
+and polite discourse, shewed himself to be a person of good birth and
+excellent breeding; and though we who heard him were only home-bred
+country people, the gentility of his carriage was easily perceived by
+our clownish ignorance. In the midst of this conversation that passed
+between him and us, he grew silent all of a sudden, and nailed, as it
+were, his eyes to the ground, for a considerable space of time, during
+which we remained in suspense and no small concern, to see the effect of
+this stupefaction; for by his staring at the ground for a good while,
+without moving his eye-lids, then shutting them close and biting his
+lips, and then drawing up the skin of his forehead, we could easily
+perceive that he was seized with some fit of madness; and he soon
+confirmed the truth of our opinion, for he sprung up with surprizing
+force from the ground on which he had thrown himself, and attacked the
+person who was next to him with such rage and resolution, that if we had
+not taken him off, he would have beaten and bit him to death; crying
+aloud all the time, “Ha, treacherous Fernando! now shalt thou pay for
+the injury thou hast done me. These hands shall tear out thy heart, in
+which all kinds of wickedness, particularly fraud and deceit, are
+harboured and dwell!” To these he added other expressions, tending to
+reproach that Fernando with treachery and baseness. When we had got our
+friend out of his clutches, with no small trouble, he went off without
+speaking another word, and ran at full speed among these shrubs and
+brambles, so as that it was impossible for us to follow him. From these
+things we conjectured that his madness came upon him by fits, and that
+some person of the name of Fernando must have done him some deadly
+wrong, which hath driven him to distraction. Indeed, this conjecture has
+been since confirmed by his different behaviour on divers occasions,
+when he hath met with our shepherds, from whom he hath sometimes begged
+part of their provision, and at other times hath taken it by force; for
+when the fit of lunacy is upon him, though they offer it of their own
+free will, he will not accept of it peaceably, without coming to blows;
+but when he is in his right senses, he begs it for God’s sake, in a very
+courteous and civil manner, and returns many thanks for the favour,
+accompanied with abundance of tears. And truly, gentlemen,’ added the
+goatherd, ‘I and four more country lads, two of them my own servants,
+and the other two friends of mine, yesterday resolved to go in search of
+him, and after having found him, to carry him, either by force or fair
+means, to the city of Almodavar, which is about eight leagues from
+hence, and there have him cured, if he be curable; or learn of him, when
+he is in his senses, who he is, or whether or not he has any relations
+to whom we may give an account of his misfortune. This, gentlemen, is
+all I can say, in answer to the questions you asked; and you may take it
+for granted, that the owner of the goods you found, is the very same
+person whom you saw skip about half-naked, with such agility:’ for Don
+Quixote had said that they had seen a man in that condition, leaping
+from rock to rock.
+
+The knight was very much surprized at this information of the goatherd,
+which making him still more impatient to know who this unfortunate
+lunatick was, he determined with himself to put his former design in
+execution, and go in quest of him, through the whole mountain, without
+leaving a cave or corner unsearched until he should find him. But
+accident was more his friend on this occasion than he could either
+imagine or expect; for at that instant, the young man of himself
+appeared in the cleft of a rock hard by the place where they stood; and
+came towards them, muttering something to himself, which they could not
+have understood had he been near, much less as he was at some distance
+from them. His equipage was just as it has been described; but, as he
+approached, Don Quixote perceived that his buff doublet, though torn to
+rags, still retained the perfume: from whence he concluded, that the
+person who wore such dress, could not be a man of the lowest rank. When
+he came up, he saluted them very politely, though with a hoarse,
+mistuned voice; and the salutation was returned with no less courtesy by
+Don Quixote, who alighting from Rozinante, with genteel and graceful
+deportment, went and embraced the stranger, whom he strained within his
+arms a good while, as if he had been a very old acquaintance. The other,
+who might have been called the tatterdemalion of the distracted, as Don
+Quixote was stiled the knight of the rueful countenance, after having
+submitted to this embrace, stepped back, and laying his hands on the
+shoulders of the knight, stood looking attentively in his face, in order
+to recollect him; no less astonished, perhaps, at the figure, mien, and
+armour of Don Quixote, than this last was surprized at his forlorn
+appearance. At length, the first who broke silence after the embrace,
+was the ragged youth, who spoke what you may read in the following
+chapter.
+
+Footnote 72:
+
+ This is an oversight of the author, who seems to have forgot that
+ Sancho lost his wallet at the inn, and was robbed by the galley-slaves
+ of the great coat or cloak, in which he carried the remains of that
+ provision he had taken from those who attended the dead body towards
+ Segovia.
+
+Footnote 73:
+
+ A chain of dusky mountains that divide Castile from Andalusia.
+
+Footnote 74:
+
+ Here Cervantes hath been caught napping by the criticks; who observe,
+ that Sancho could not be mounted on the ass, which was but just now
+ stolen by Gines de Passamonte.
+
+Footnote 75:
+
+ As it is impossible to preserve the original blunders of Sancho, who
+ mistakes Fili or Phillis, for Hilo, that signifies a thread, we are
+ obliged to substitute another, by changing Phillis into Chloe, which
+ Sancho, in English, might have as naturally mistaken for a clue; and
+ by this expedient the sense of the passage is not hurt, and but very
+ little altered.
+
+Footnote 76:
+
+ Methinks it is inconsistent with the character of the knight, to allow
+ Sancho to tell such a fraudulent untruth in his hearing; nor is
+ Panza’s behaviour on this occasion much for the honour of his
+ simplicity.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. X.
+ THE CONTINUATION OF THE ADVENTURE IN THE SIERRA MORENA.
+
+
+The history relates, that Don Quixote listened with vast attention to
+the shabby knight of the mountain, who began the conversation thus:
+‘Assuredly, Signior, though I have not the honour to know who you are, I
+thank you heartily for those expressions of kindness with which you
+treat me; and wish I were in such a situation as would enable me to
+repay this courteous reception with something more than mere good-will:
+but my hapless fortune affords me nothing to offer in return for the
+civilities that are shewn me, except a hearty inclination to make a more
+adequate satisfaction.’—‘My will and desire,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘to
+serve you is so strong, that I was determined not to quit these
+mountains until I had found you, and learned of yourself whether or not
+the grief you manifest in this strange course of life, could be
+alleviated by any kind of remedy, for which, had need required, I would
+have searched with all possible diligence; and had your misfortune been
+such as shut up all the avenues to advice and redress, I was resolved to
+join your lamentations, and bemoan your misery to the utmost of my
+power: for, in all misfortunes, the greatest consolation is a
+sympathizing friend; and if this my friendly intention deserves the
+least return of civility, I entreat you, Signior, by that courtesy which
+I see you so eminently possess, and moreover conjure you by that object,
+which of all others in this life you have most loved, or are most in
+love with, to tell me who you are, and inform me of the cause that
+brings you to live and die in this solitude, like the brute beasts among
+which you dwell, so different from that rank and situation to which your
+appearance and person declare you are entitled. And I swear by the order
+of chivalry which I have received, unworthy sinner that I am! and by the
+profession of a knight-errant, that if you comply with this my request,
+I will serve you with that earnestness which my duty obliges me to
+express; either in remedying your mishap, if it admits of remedy, or in
+condoling with you, as I have already promised.’ The knight of the wood,
+hearing him of the rueful countenance talk in this manner, could do
+nothing for some time but gaze, and stare, and survey him from head to
+foot; at length, having examined him thoroughly, he said, ‘If you have
+got any food, for God’s sake spare me a little; and after I shall have
+eaten it, I will do as you desire, in return for the civility you now
+shew me.’
+
+Sancho immediately pulled from his bag, and the goatherd from his scrip,
+some victuals to appease the hunger of the tatterdemalion, who swallowed
+what they gave him like a frantick person, with such hurry, that he left
+not the interval of an instant between one mouthful and another, but
+seemed to devour rather than eat, without either speaking or being spoke
+to by the spectators. His repast being ended, he beckoned them to
+follow, and conducted them to a verdant spot of grass, at the turning of
+a rock, a little way from the place where they were; and sitting down on
+the green turf, they followed his example; not a word being spoke all
+the time, until the ragged knight, after having adjusted himself in his
+seat, began in this manner. ‘If you desire, gentlemen, that I should, in
+a few words, inform you of the immensity of my misfortunes, you must
+give me your promise that you will not by any question, or otherwise,
+interrupt the thread of my doleful story; for if you should, that
+instant I will break off the narration.’ This warning recalled to the
+knight’s memory the story recounted by his squire, which still remained
+unfinished, because he had not kept an exact account of the goats, as
+they passed the river. But, to return to the tattered knight: ‘I give
+you this precaution,’ added he, ‘because I would briefly pass over the
+detail of my misfortunes, the remembrance of which brings fresh addition
+to my woe; and the fewer questions you ask, the sooner shall I have
+finished the relation; although, in order to satisfy your curiosity to
+the full, I will not fail to mention every material circumstance.’ Don
+Quixote promised, in behalf of himself and the company, to avoid all
+manner of interruption; and the stranger, thus assured, began in these
+words:
+
+[Illustration: The Tattered Gentleman Tells His Tale.]
+
+‘My name is Cardenio, the place of my nativity one of the best cities in
+this province of Andalusia, my family noble, my parents rich, and my
+misfortunes so great, that no doubt they have been lamented by them, and
+even felt through my whole kindred, though all their wealth would not
+alleviate my woe; for the goods of fortune are but of little service
+against those ills inflicted by the hand of Heaven. In the same country
+lived, shall I call her, a paradise, which love had adorned with all the
+charms I could desire to possess; such was the beauty of Lucinda, a
+young lady as well-born and rich as I, though more fortunate and endowed
+with less constancy than what was due to my honourable intentions. This
+Lucinda did I admire, love, and adore, even from my most tender years;
+and she made me all the returns of love and inclination that I could
+expect from her infant age. Our parents were not ignorant of our mutual
+affection, which gave them no offence, because they foresaw that if it
+should increase with our years, it could have no other issue than
+marriage; an union which the equality of our age and fortune seemed to
+point out. Meanwhile, our passion growing up with our age, Lucinda’s
+father thought himself obliged to forbid me his house, imitating in that
+particular, the parents of Thisbe, whom the poets have celebrated so
+much. This prohibition added flame to flame, and wish to wish, for
+though our tongues were restrained, they could not silence our pens,
+which commonly express the sentiments of the heart with more liberty,
+because the presence of the beloved object often confounds the most
+determined intention, and puts to silence the most undaunted tongue.
+
+‘Good Heaven! what letters did I write! what chaste endearing answers
+did I receive! what songs did I compose, inspired by love that displayed
+the soul unmasked, inflamed each soft desire, regaled the fancy, and
+indulged the wish! in fine, my patience being exhausted, and my heart
+almost consumed with the desire of seeing her, I resolved to execute the
+scheme which seemed most favourable for my love and pretensions; and
+this I put in practice, by demanding her in marriage of her father, who
+thanked me for the honour I intended him, by this proposal of marrying
+into his family; but said, as my own father was alive, it was properly
+his business to make the demand; for, unless his consent and inclination
+were obtained, Lucinda was not a person either to be given or taken in
+marriage by stealth. I thanked him in my turn, for his politeness; and
+thinking there was a great deal of reason in what he said, assured
+myself that my father would readily agree to the proposal whenever I
+should make it. I therefore flew instantly to disclose my sentiments to
+him on that subject; and entering the closet where he was, found him
+reading a letter, which, before I could speak a syllable, he put into my
+hands saying, “By this letter, Cardenio, you will see how much Duke
+Ricardo is inclined to do you service.” This Duke Ricardo, as you must
+know, gentlemen, is a grandee of Spain, whose estate lies in the best
+part of this province. I took and read this letter, which was so
+extremely kind, that I myself should have blamed my father, had he
+refused to comply with what he requested in it: this was to send me
+immediately to this house, he being desirous that I should live as the
+companion, not the servant, of the eldest son; and he would take care of
+my fortune in such a manner as should manifest the esteem he had for me.
+Having read the letter, I was struck dumb at knowing the contents;
+especially when I heard my father pronounce, “Two days hence, Cardenio,
+you shall set out, according to the pleasure of the duke; and you ought
+to thank God for having opened an avenue, through which you may arrive
+at that fortune I know you deserve.” To this declaration he added other
+services, as became a prudent father; and I, the night before I
+departed, finding means to speak with Lucinda, told her what had
+happened; nay, I even imparted it to her father, entreating him to wait
+a few days, without disposing of her to any other, until I should know
+in what manner Ricardo wanted to employ me. He gave me his promise
+accordingly, and she confirmed it by a thousand vows and anxious sighs.
+
+‘I at length arrived at the seat of Duke Ricardo, by whom I was so well
+received and kindly entertained, that Envy presently began to do her
+office, possessing the old servants with the opinion, that every
+expression of favour I received from the duke was prejudicial to their
+interest. But he who was most rejoiced at my residing there, was the
+duke’s second son, Fernando, a gay, genteel, liberal, and amorous youth,
+who in a short time was pleased to honour me with such intimacy of
+friendship as became the subject of every body’s discourse; and though
+the eldest brother loved and favoured me also, he did not carry his
+favour and affection to such a pitch. Now, as all secrets are
+communicated between friends, and the confidence in which I lived with
+Fernando was soon changed into friendship, he imparted to me his most
+secret thoughts, and among other things, a love affair that gave him a
+good deal of disquiet. In short, he had an inclination for a
+country-maid, who was his father’s vassal; her parents were very rich,
+and she herself so beautiful, reserved, modest and discreet, that nobody
+who knew her could determine in which of these qualifications she most
+excelled. These accomplishments of this fair maiden inflamed the desires
+of Don Fernando to such a pitch, that he resolved, as the easiest
+conquest over her virtue, to promise he would marry her; for he found it
+impossible to gratify his wish in any other way. I, prompted and bound
+by my friendship, endeavoured to dissuade and divert him from his
+purpose, by the strongest arguments and most lively examples I could
+produce; but finding them all ineffectual, I resolved to communicate the
+whole affair to his father Duke Ricardo.
+
+‘Don Fernando, having abundance of cunning and discernment, suspected my
+intention; and was afraid, that the obligation he saw I was under, as a
+faithful servant, would not allow me to conceal an affair so prejudicial
+to the honour of the duke my master; he therefore, in order to divert
+and deceive me, observed that he could find no better remedy to remove
+the beauty that enslaved him from his remembrance, than that of absence
+for a few months; and therefore desired that we should go to my father’s
+house, upon pretence, as he would tell the duke, of seeing and
+purchasing some fine horses in our town, which produces the best in the
+world. Scarce had he uttered this proposal, when prompted by my love,
+exclusive of his prudent intention, I approved of it, as one of the best
+concerted schemes that could be imagined; and was rejoiced at meeting
+with such a fair conjuncture and occasion of returning to my dear
+Lucinda. Induced by this motive and desire, I applauded his pretence,
+and enforced his proposal, advising him to execute his plan with all
+speed; for absence would certainly do its office, in spite of the most
+established inclination. At that very time, as I afterwards understood,
+he had enjoyed the country-maid, under the title of her husband, and
+waited for an opportunity of owning it with safety to himself, being
+afraid of the duke’s resentment, in case he should discover his folly.
+It happened afterwards, that as love in young people is, for the most
+part, nothing but appetite, whose only aim is pleasure, and this being
+enjoyed, what seemed love vanishes, because it cannot exceed the bounds
+of nature; whereas real love is bounded by no such limits: I say, as
+soon as Don Fernando enjoyed the country girl, his desires were
+appeased, and his raptures abated; and if at first he pretended to seek
+a cure for them in absence, he now earnestly desired to be absent, that
+he might avoid any farther gratification.
+
+‘The duke having given him leave, and ordered me to attend him, we
+arrived at our habitation, where he was received by my father in a
+manner suitable to his rank and family. I went instantly to visit
+Lucinda, whose presence in a moment rekindled all my desires, which
+indeed were neither dead nor decayed within me: and, to my infinite
+misfortune, I made Don Fernando acquainted with my love, because I
+thought, by the laws of that intimate friendship with which he honoured
+me, I ought to conceal nothing from him. I therefore praised the beauty,
+grace, and discretion of Lucinda, in such a manner, as excited his
+curiosity to see such an accomplished young lady. Prompted by my evil
+genius, I gratified his desire, shewing her to him one night by the
+light of a taper at the window from which I used to converse with her.
+At sight of her he absolutely forgot all the beauties he had formerly
+seen; he was struck dumb with wonder; he seemed to lose all sense,
+became absent and pensive; and in short, enamoured of her to that
+degree, which you will perceive in the course of my unhappy story: and
+the more to inflame his desire, which he concealed from me, and
+disclosed to Heaven alone, he happened one day to find a letter which
+she had written, desiring me to ask her in marriage of her father, so
+prudent, modest, and tender, that upon perusing it, he said, “In Lucinda
+alone are concentered all the charms of beauty and understanding, which
+are divided among the rest of her sex.” True it is, and I will now
+confess it, and although I knew how justly Fernando applauded Lucinda, I
+was vexed at hearing these praises proceed from his mouth, and began to
+dread and suspect his inclination; for he was eternally talking of her,
+and always turned the discourse upon her, even when he was obliged to
+bring her in by the head and shoulders; a circumstance that waked a sort
+of jealousy within me; not that I imagined ought could alter the faith
+and affection of Lucinda; yet, notwithstanding, my destiny made me dread
+the very thing that confidence insured. Don Fernando always contrived
+means to read the letters I sent to Lucinda, together with her answers,
+on pretence of being highly pleased with the good sense they contained;
+and it once happened, that she having desired me to send her a book of
+knight-errantry, in which she took great delight, called Amadis de
+Gaul——’
+
+Don Quixote no sooner heard him mention this book, than he said, ‘Had
+you told me in the beginning of your story, that your mistress Lucinda
+was an admirer of books of chivalry, you would have had no occasion to
+use any other argument to convince me of her sublime understanding;
+which I should not have deemed quite so extraordinary as you have
+represented it, had she wanted relish for that sort of reading:
+wherefore you need not spend any more words with me, in extolling her
+beauty, virtue, and good sense; for, upon the knowledge of her taste
+only, I pronounce her to be the most beautiful and discreet lady in the
+universe. I wish, however, that you had sent along with Amadis de Gaul,
+the worthy Don Rugel of Greece; for I know your mistress Lucinda would
+have been greatly pleased with Darayra and Garaya, together with the
+judicious sayings of the shepherd Darinel, and those admirable verses of
+his eclogues, sung and represented by him with such grace, spirit, and
+discretion; but the time will come when that omission may be rectified;
+indeed, the fault may be repaired as soon as you shall please to
+accompany me to the place of my habitation, where I can supply you with
+more than three hundred books, which are the feast of my soul, and
+entertainment of my life; though now I recollect, not one of them
+remains in my possession; thanks to the malice of wicked and envious
+inchanters. But I hope you will be so good as to forgive me for having
+contradicted my promise of not interrupting your story; for when the
+subject turns upon chivalry or knights-errant, I can no more forbear
+interposing, than the rays of the sun can cease to warm, or those of the
+moon to wet: but I ask pardon; pray proceed with your story; for that is
+most to the purpose at present.’
+
+While Don Quixote was talking in this manner, Cardenio hung his head,
+and fell into a profound reverie; and though the knight repeated his
+request, would neither lift up his head, nor answer one word. At length,
+after a long pause, looking up, ‘You cannot,’ said he, ‘beat it out of
+my thoughts; nor is there any person upon earth, who can persuade me to
+the contrary; and he must be a blockhead, who imagines or believes
+otherwise, than that the villain Master Elisabat carried on a criminal
+correspondence with Queen Madasima.’—‘By Heaven, ’tis false,’ cried Don
+Quixote, with great indignation and impetuosity, as usual; ‘that report
+is the effect of malice, or rather mere wantonness. Queen Madasima was a
+most royal dame, and it is not to be presumed, that a princess of her
+rank would confer favours upon a mere quack doctor. Whosoever thinks
+otherwise, lyes like a very great scoundrel; and I will prove him such
+either on horseback or a foot, armed or disarmed, by night or by day, as
+will most suit his inclination.’ Cardenio stood all the while looking
+attentively at him, and being by this time seized with the paroxism of
+his madness, could not proceed with his story; neither, if he had
+proceeded, would Don Quixote have listened to it, for he was offended at
+what he had heard to the prejudice of Queen Madasima[77], whose
+reputation interested him as much as if she had been actually his own
+mistress: such wonderful impression had those profane books made on his
+imagination!
+
+I say, then, Cardenio being by this time under the influence of his
+distraction, and hearing himself called lyar and scoundrel, with other
+terms of reproach, could not relish the joke; but, snatching up a large
+pebble that lay near him, aimed it so successfully at Don Quixote’s
+breast, that he fell fairly on his back with the blow. Sancho Panza,
+seeing his master treated in this manner, attacked the madman with his
+clenched fist; but the lunatick received him with such a blow, as
+knocked him down to the ground at once, and then getting upon him,
+mauled his carcase to his heart’s content; while the goatherd, who
+attempted to defend him, met with the same fate. Having thus mastered
+and pummelled them all round, he left off, and with great composure
+retreated to the thickets from whence he came. Sancho then arose; and,
+enraged to find himself handled in this manner for nothing, ran to take
+vengeance on the goatherd, saying that he was to blame for the whole,
+because he had not informed him, that the man had intervals of madness;
+which had they known, they might have guarded against them. The goatherd
+affirmed, that he had apprized them of what might happen; and if they
+had not heard him, it was no fault of his. The squire replied; the
+goatherd retorted; and, in conclusion, they went by the ears together,
+and pulled each other’s beards with such fury, that there would not have
+been a single hair left on either chin, had not Don Quixote interposed.
+Sancho, grappling stoutly with his adversary, cried, ‘Give me leave, Sir
+Knight of the Rueful Countenance; this is no armed knight, but a
+plebeian like myself, of whom I can securely take satisfaction for the
+injury he has done me, by fighting with him hand to hand, like a man of
+honour.’—‘True,’ said Don Quixote; ‘but the cause of what hath happened,
+cannot be justly imputed to him.’ Peace accordingly ensued, and the
+knight asked the goatherd again, if there was a possibility of finding
+Cardenio; for he was extremely desirous of hearing the conclusion of his
+story. The goatherd repeated what he had said before, that he did not
+certainly know whereabouts he resided; but, if they should stay long in
+these parts, they could not fail of finding him either mad or sober.
+
+Footnote 77:
+
+ Queen Madasima, a lady in Amadis de Gaul, attended by one Elisabat, a
+ surgeon with whom she travels, and lies in woods and desarts.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XI.
+ OF THE STRANGE ADVENTURES THAT HAPPENED TO THE VALIANT KNIGHT OF LA
+ MANCHA IN THE SIERRA MORENA, WHERE HE DID PENANCE, IN IMITATION OF
+ BELTENEBROS.
+
+
+Don Quixote, having taken leave of the goatherd, and mounted Rozinante
+again, commanded Sancho to follow him; and the squire, bestriding his
+ass, obeyed with great reluctance. As they advanced at leisure, into the
+most rocky part of the mountain, Sancho longed to death for an
+opportunity of talking, and waited impatiently till his master should
+begin, that he might not transgress his orders; but, being utterly
+unable to keep silence any longer, ‘Sir Don Quixote,’ said he, ‘be
+pleased to give me your blessing, and grant me leave to return
+immediately to my wife and children, with whom, at least, I can talk and
+prattle my fill; for in commanding me to travel with you, through these
+desarts, night and day, without opening my lips when I am disposed to
+speak, your worship buries me alive; if it were the will of Heaven, that
+beasts spoke as they did in the days of Hyssop, I should be the less
+uneasy, because I would converse with my ass at pleasure; and that would
+be some comfort to me in my misfortunes; but it is a very hard case, and
+what I cannot bear with patience, to travel in search of adventures all
+my life, and find nought but rib-roastings, blankettings, robberies, and
+fisty-cuffs; and, after all, be obliged to sew up our mouths, without
+daring to bring up what lies upon our stomachs, more than if we were
+dumb.’
+
+‘I understand thee, Sancho,’ replied the knight; ‘thou art impatient
+until I take off the interdiction I have laid upon thy tongue. I take it
+off, then; say what you please, on condition that this repeal shall last
+no longer than our stay in this mountain.’—‘Be it so,’ said Sancho;
+‘to-day I will speak, to-morrow God’s will be done; and the first use I
+make of this safe conduct, is to ask why your worship was in such a
+passion about that Queen Magimasa, or how d’ye call her; or of what
+signification was it to you, whether that same Abat was her sweetheart
+or not? Had your worship overlooked that circumstance, that you had no
+concern in, I firmly believe the madman would, have gone on with his
+story, and you would have saved yourself the pebble-shot, with more than
+half a dozen kicks and cuffs.’
+
+‘In faith, Sancho,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘If thou knewest, as I do,
+what an honourable and princely lady that Queen Madasima was, thou
+wouldst say, I had great patience in forbearing to demolish the mouth
+from whence such blasphemy proceeded; for sure, ’tis no less to say, or
+even think, that a queen should take a surgeon to her bed. The truth of
+the story is, that Master Elisabat, whom the lunatick mentioned, was a
+man of prudence and discernment, and served the queen in quality of
+tutor and physician; but to suppose that there was any indecent
+familiarity between them, is a piece of folly that deserves to be
+severely chastised: and to convince thee that Cardenio knew not what he
+said, thou mayest remember he was deprived of his senses, when he took
+notice of that circumstance.’—‘This I’ll venture to say,’ replied the
+squire, ‘that the words of a madman are not to be minded; for, if
+fortune had not stood your worship’s friend, and directed to your breast
+the pebble that was aimed at your head, we should have been in a fine
+condition, for your having quarrelled about that lady, whom Heaven
+confound! you may depend upon it, Cardenio would have been acquitted on
+account of his madness.’
+
+‘Every knight-errant,’ said Don Quixote, ‘is obliged to quarrel with
+those who are out of their senses, as well as those who are in them, if
+they asperse the honour of women, whatsoever they might be. How much
+more, then, in behalf of princesses of such high quality and
+accomplishments as adorned Queen Madasima, for whom I have a particular
+affection, on account of her admirable qualifications; for, over and
+above her beauty, she had a great share of prudence and resignation in
+her calamities, which were manifold: and the advice and company of
+Master Elisabat were of great service in encouraging her to bear her
+afflictions with patience and equanimity. From hence, the ignorant and
+malicious vulgar took occasion to say and suppose, that she admitted of
+his caresses; but they lye. I say again, all those who either say or
+think so, lye in their throats, and I will tell them so two hundred
+times over.’—‘As for my own part,’ said Sancho, ‘I neither say nor think
+any such thing; those that do may dine upon it: if they were too
+familiar, by this time they have answered for it to God. I prune my own
+vine, and know nothing about thine. I never meddle with other people’s
+concerns. He that buys and denies, his own purse belyes, as the saying
+is. Bare I was born, and bare I remain; and if I lose nothing, as little
+I gain. If he did lie with her, that is no matter of mine. Many people
+hunt the hare without ever finding the scut; for, Till you hedge in the
+sky, the starlings will fly. And evil tongues will not refrain from God
+himself.’
+
+‘Good Heaven,’ cried Don Quixote, ‘what fooleries art thou stringing
+together, Sancho? Pray, what relation have these old saws to the subject
+of our conversation? I charge thee to hold thy peace, and henceforth
+entertain thyself with spurring up thy ass, and leave off talking of
+things which do not concern thee: or let thy whole five senses be
+convinced, that every thing I have done, am doing, or will do, is highly
+reasonable, and in exact conformity with the laws of chivalry, which I
+understand better than any knight that ever professed the order.’—‘Yes
+Sir,’ replied Sancho, ‘to be sure it is an excellent law of chivalry, to
+stroll about bewildered in these mountains, where there is neither high
+road nor bye path, in search of a madman, who, after we have found him,
+will perhaps take it in his head to finish what he left undone; not of
+his story, but of your worship’s pate and my ribs, which he may chance
+to break in a thousand shivers.’
+
+‘I say again, Sancho,’ resumed the knight, ‘hold thy peace; for I would
+have thee know, that I am not detained in this place, so much by the
+desire of finding the lunatick, as of performing in it an exploit by
+which I shall acquire everlasting renown throughout the whole known
+world; and put the stamp of perfection upon the wonderful efforts of
+knight-errantry?’—‘And will this exploit be attended with much danger?’
+said Sancho. ‘No,’ answered he of the rueful countenance, ‘though the
+dice may run so as to produce bad instead of good fortune; but the whole
+will depend upon thy diligence.’—‘Upon my diligence!’ cried the squire.
+‘Without doubt,’ answered his master; ‘for, if thou wilt return
+speedily, from the place to which thou must be sent, my affliction will
+soon be at an end, and my glory will speedily begin: and, that I may no
+longer keep thee in suspence about the meaning of my words, know,
+Sancho, that the celebrated Amadis de Gaul was one of the most perfect
+knights-errant; one of them, said I? he alone was the only, single,
+chief, and superior of all his cotemporaries. Contempt and shame upon
+Bellianis, and all those who say he equalled him in any one particular;
+for, by this light, they are all egregiously deceived! I say, moreover,
+when a painter desires to become famous in his art, he endeavours to
+imitate the originals painted by the most noted artists; and the same
+maxim holds in every other science and exercise that adorns a
+commonwealth: therefore, he who wants to attain the virtues of prudence
+and equanimity, must endeavour to imitate the character of Ulysses, in
+whose person and sufferings Homer has drawn an excellent picture of
+wisdom and patience, as Virgil, in the person of Æneas, represents the
+piety of an affectionate son, and the sagacity of a wise and valiant
+general; not that they are described and set forth exactly as they were,
+but as they ought to have been, as examples of virtue to posterity. In
+the same manner, Amadis shone like the north-star, the Lucifer and sun
+of all valiant and amorous knights; and therefore must be imitated as a
+pattern, by all those who serve under the banners of love and chivalry.
+Now, this being the case, friend Sancho, I find that the knight-errant
+who approaches the nearest to this great original, will bid fairest for
+attaining the perfection of chivalry: and one of the circumstances in
+which that knight gave the highest proofs of his worth, prudence,
+valour, patience, constancy, and love, was his retiring to the poor
+rock, when he was in disgrace with his mistress Oriana, there to do
+penance under the feigned name Beltenebros[78]; an appellation certainly
+very significant and proper to the way of life he had voluntarily
+chosen. As it is therefore more easy for me to imitate him in this than
+in cleaving giants, beheading serpents, slaying dragons, overthrowing
+armies, scattering navies, and dissolving inchantments; and as this
+solitude is so well adapted to such designs, I am resolved to seize
+occasion by the forelock, which she now so complaisantly presents.’
+
+‘In reality,’ said Sancho, ‘what is your worship resolved to do in this
+remote place?’—‘Have I not already told thee,’ replied the knight, ‘that
+I am determined to imitate Amadis, in acting the desperado, the
+lunatick, the madman: to copy also after the valiant Don Roldan, when he
+discovered, in a fountain, certain marks by which he was convinced that
+Angelica the fair had committed uncleanness with Medoro. A piece of
+information attended with such grief and anxiety, that he ran mad, tore
+up the trees by the root, sullied the waters of the transparent springs,
+slew shepherds, destroyed flocks, set fire to cottages, demolished
+houses, dragged mares along the ground, and performed a thousand other
+insolent feats worthy to be inserted in Fame’s eternal record; and
+because I do not propose to imitate Roldan, or Orlando, or Rotolando,
+for he went by all these names, literally in all the extravagancies he
+thought, said, and did, I will copy his outlines as well as I can, in
+the most essential parts of his character; nay, perhaps, I may content
+myself with the sole imitation of Amadis, who, by his tears and sighs
+alone, acquired as much fame as the other with all the mischief he
+did.’—‘If I apprehend the matter aright,’ said Sancho, ‘the knights who
+played such mad pranks were provoked, and had some reason to act these
+fooleries and penance: but what cause hath your worship to turn madman?
+With what lady are you in disgrace? or by what signs are you given to
+understand that the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso has been playing the rogue
+either with Moor or Christian!’—‘This is the point,’ answered Don
+Quixote, ‘and refinement of my design; a knight who turns madman,
+because he cannot help it, can claim no merit from his misfortune; but
+the great matter is to run distracted without cause, and give my lady
+reason to conceive what I could do were I moistened, when I can do so
+much being dry. More especially, as I have sufficient cause in the long
+absence to which I am doomed by my ever-darling mistress Dulcinea del
+Toboso; for, according to the words of the shepherd Matias Ambrosio,
+which thou mayest have heard,
+
+ “In absence of my charming fair,
+ “I suffer all those ills I fear.”
+
+‘Wherefore, friend Sancho, you need not throw away your time
+unprofitably, in advising me to refrain from an imitation at once so
+admirable, rare, and happy: mad I am, and mad I shall be until thou
+returnest with the answer of a letter which I propose to send by thee to
+my Lady Dulcinea; and if it be such as I am entitled to by my love and
+fidelity, my distraction and penance will end; but, should it be
+otherwise, I shall run mad in earnest, and consequently be insensible of
+my misfortune: wherefore, let her answer be as it may, it will extricate
+me from the doubts and affliction in which thou leaved me; because, if
+it be favourable, I shall enjoy it in my right senses; and if it be
+unfavourable, my frenzy will not feel it.
+
+‘But tell me, Sancho, hast thou taken care of Mambrino’s helmet, which I
+saw thee take up, after that ungrateful vagabond endeavoured in vain to
+break it in pieces; a circumstance that proves the excellency of its
+temper?’ To this exclamation, Sancho replied, ‘’Fore God! Sir Knight of
+the Rueful Countenance, I cannot suffer, nor bear with patience, some
+things which your worship says; for they make me imagine, that all you
+have mentioned about chivalry, and acquiring kingdoms and empires, and
+giving away islands, with other favours and presents, according to the
+practice of knights-errant, is nothing but puffs of falshood, and the
+mere effect of piction or fiction, or what do you call it: for who that
+hears your worship call a barber’s bason the helmet of Mambrino, and
+sees you continue in that error so many days, but will believe, that he
+who affirms such nonsense must be very much crazed in his understanding?
+The bason, which is all bruised and battered, I have put up in my bag,
+in order to be mended at home, and used for the service of my own beard,
+if ever, by the grace of God, I come to see my wife and family.’—‘Hark
+ye, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘by the same oath you swore, I swear
+again, that thou hast the most slender understanding that any squire in
+this world does or ever did possess! Is it possible, that after all thy
+travelling in my company, thou art not convinced that every thing
+belonging to knights-errant, appears chimera, folly, and distraction,
+being metamorphosed into the reverse of what it is, by the power of a
+tribe of inchanters who attend us, changing, converting, and restoring
+each particular, according to their pleasure, and the inclination they
+have to favour or annoy us: for which reason, what seems a barber’s
+bason to thee, I can easily discern to be the helmet of Mambrino, and
+perhaps to a third, it will assume a quite different appearance; and I
+cannot but admire the providence of the sage who is my friend, in making
+that which is really and truly Mambrino’s helmet, appear a bason to the
+rest of mankind, because it is of such inestimable value, that if it was
+known, the whole world would combine to ravish it from me; but as it
+appears to them no more than a barber’s bason, they never attempt to
+obtain it. This was plainly the case with the villain, who, having
+endeavoured to break it in pieces, left it on the ground, when he went
+off; whereas, had he known what it was, in good faith he would not have
+quitted it so easily. Keep it therefore with care, my friend, for at
+present there is no occasion for it; on the contrary, I shall strip off
+all my armour, and remain naked as I was born, in case I be inclined to
+imitate the penance of Roldan, rather than that of Amadis.’
+
+Conversing in this manner, they arrived at the foot of a high mountain
+that stood alone, as if it had been cut out from the rest that
+surrounded it. A gentle rill murmured by the skirts of it, winding along
+a meadow, so green and fertile, that it ravished the spectator’s eye;
+while a number of forest trees that grew around, together with some
+delicious herbs and flowers, conspired to make the place inchanting.
+This was the scene in which the knight of the rueful countenance chose
+to do penance; and therefore he no sooner perceived it, than he began to
+exclaim aloud, as if he had actually lost his senses, ‘This is the spot,
+ye heavens! which I chuse and appoint my residence, while I bewail that
+misfortune to which you yourselves have reduced me. This is the place
+where the tears from these eyes will increase the waters of that little
+brook; and where my profound and uninterrupted sighs will incessantly
+move the leaves of these mountain-oaks, in witness and testimony of the
+pangs which my tormented heart endures. O ye rural deities, whosoever ye
+are, who take up your mansion in this uninhabited place, give ear to the
+complaints of an unhappy lover, whom a tedious absence and imaginary
+doubts have brought to lament among these craggy hills, and bemoan the
+cruel disposition of that ungrateful fair, who is the end and perfection
+of all human beauty? O ye nymphs and dryads, who were wont to inhabit
+the hills and groves, (so may no nimble and lascivious satyrs, by whom
+you are beloved, though loved in vain, disturb your sweet repose) help
+me to bewail my mishap: or at least disdain not to hear my moan!—O
+Dulcinea del Toboso! light of my darkness! glory of my affliction!
+north-star of my inclinations! and planet of my fortune! as Heaven shall
+pour upon you the blessings which you ask; consider the place and
+condition to which your absence hath exiled me, and put such a period to
+my woe, as my fidelity shall seem to deserve! O ye solitary trees, who
+henceforth are to bear me company in this retreat, convince me, by the
+gentle waving of your boughs, that my presence gives you no disgust.—And
+thou, my squire, the agreeable companion of my good and evil fortune,
+faithfully retain in thy remembrance what thou shalt see me do, that
+thou mayest recount and rehearse every circumstance to the lovely cause
+of all my distraction!’ So saying, he alighted; and, taking off the
+bridle and saddle from Rozinante, gave him a slap on the buttocks,
+pronouncing these words: ‘He who is a slave himself, bestows freedom
+upon thee, O steed, as excellent in thy qualities as unlucky in thy
+fate! go wheresoever thou wilt; thou bearest engraven on thy forehead,
+that thou wast never equalled in swiftness, either by Astolpho’s
+Hypogriff, or the renowned Frontino that cost Bradamante so dear.’
+
+Sancho, hearing this apostrophe, ‘My blessing,’ cried he, ‘be upon him
+whose industry now saves us the trouble of taking the halter from the
+head of Dapple[79], who, in good faith, should not want slaps on the
+buttocks, nor abundance of fine things said in his praise; but, if he
+was here, I would not consent to his being turned loose, there being no
+reason for so doing; for he was never acquainted with love and despair,
+no more than I, who was his master, while it pleased God I should be so:
+and truly, Sir Knight of the Rueful Countenance, if this departure of
+mine, and distraction of your worship, are really to take place, you had
+better saddle Rozinante again, to supply the want of Dapple; by which
+means a great deal of time will be saved in my going and coming;
+whereas, if I make the journey on foot, I know not when it will be
+performed; for, in short, I am a very sorry walker.’—‘I say, be it so,
+then, Sancho,’ answered Don Quixote: ‘I approve of thy proposal; and
+assure thee, that thou shalt set out in three days, during which I would
+have thee take notice of what I shall do for her sake, that thou mayest
+be able to give her a full account of my behaviour.’—‘What more can I
+see,’ said Sancho, ‘than I have seen already?’—‘You are pretty perfect
+in your story,’ answered the knight; ‘but, as yet, I have not torn my
+cloaths, scattered my armour, and dashed my head against the rocks, nor
+performed many other things of this sort, which thou wilt behold with
+admiration.’—‘For the love of God, Sir!’ cried Sancho, ‘take care how
+you dash your head against the rocks; for you may chance to meet with
+such a one as will, at the first push, put the finishing stroke to this
+whole scheme of penance; and I should think, that as knocks of the head
+are absolutely necessary to compleat the work, your worship might
+content yourself, seeing the whole affair is a sham, a counterfeit, and
+a joke; I say, your worship might content yourself with ramming your
+skull against water, or some soft thing, like a cotton bag; and leave it
+to my care to tell my lady, that your worship went to loggerheads with
+the point of a rock a thousand times harder than adamant.’—‘Friend
+Sancho,’ replied the knight, ‘I am obliged to thee, for thy kind
+intention; but, thou must know, that what I do is not a sham, but a very
+serious matter; for, to behave otherwise, were to transgress the orders
+of chivalry, which forbid us to lye, under pain of being degraded; and
+you know, that to substitute one thing instead of another, is downright
+telling a lye: wherefore, my knocks on the head must be real, hard, and
+effectual, and not sophisticated or imaginary; and it will be necessary
+to leave me some lint for my wounds, since it was the will of fate that
+we should lose the balsam.’
+
+‘It was a much greater misfortune,’ said the squire, ‘to lose the ass,
+and with him the lint and all; but I beseech your worship, not to talk
+of that accursed drench, the sole mention of which not only turns my
+stomach, but even my very soul; and I beseech you, moreover, to suppose
+we have passed those three days, which you have appointed for shewing me
+your mad pranks; for I take them all for granted, and will tell wonders
+of them to my lady. Write the letter, therefore, and dispatch me
+forthwith: because I am impatient till I return and deliver your worship
+from that purgatory in which I leave you.’—‘Purgatory! call you it,
+Sancho?’ replied Don Quixote: ‘it rather deserves the name of hell, or
+something worse, if worse can be.’—‘I have heard,’ said the squire,
+‘that from hell there is no retention.’—‘I know not,’ replied the
+knight, ‘what you mean by retention.’—‘Retention,’ answered Sancho,
+‘signifies, that whosoever goeth to hell, neither will nor can come back
+again. The contrary of which shall happen to your worship, or my feet
+will misgive me, provided I carry spurs to quicken Rozinante: and set me
+once face to face before my Lady Dulcinea, at Toboso, I will tell her
+such stories of the folly and madness, for they are both the same thing,
+which your worship has committed, and will then be committing, that
+though I should find her harder than a cork-tree, I will make her as
+pliant as a glove; and, with her sweet and honied answer, return through
+the air, like a witch, and deliver your worship from this purgatory,
+that appears like hell, though it be not really so, because there are
+some hopes of getting out of it; whereas those who are actually in hell
+can have no such expectation; and I dare say, your worship will not
+advance any thing to the contrary.’
+
+‘That is all very true,’ said he of the rueful countenance; ‘but how
+shall we make shift to write this letter?’—‘Aye, and the bill for the
+colts?’ added Sancho. ‘That shall be inserted in the letter,’ answered
+his master; ‘and I think, as there is no paper to be had in this place,
+the best thing we can do, will be to write in the manner of the
+ancients, on the leaf of a tree, or on waxen tables; though, I believe,
+those will be as difficult to be found as the paper. But, now I remember
+what will do well, and excellently well, for our purpose: I will write
+it in the pocket-book which belonged to Cardenio, and thou shalt take
+care to have it fairly transcribed in the first place where thou canst
+find a school-master or a parish-clerk to copy it. But, by no means
+employ a scrivener, who way write it in such an unintelligible
+court-hand, that Satan himself could not understand it.’—‘But what is to
+be done about the signing of it?’ said Sancho. ‘Love-letters are never
+signed,’ replied Don Quixote. ‘True,’ resumed the squire; ‘but all bills
+must be subscribed: and if this of yours were to be copied, they would
+say the subscription was counterfeit, and I might go whistle for my
+colts.’—‘The bill shall be subscribed with my own hand in the
+pocket-book; which my niece shall no sooner see, than she will comply
+with the order, without any farther objection: and with regard to the
+letter, instead of my subscription, thou shalt cause to be inserted,
+“Yours, till death; the Knight of the Rueful Countenance.” And though it
+be written by another hand, it is of small importance, because, now I
+remember, Dulcinea can neither read nor write, nor ever set eyes on any
+writing or letter of mine: for our mutual love has been altogether
+platonick, without extending farther than a modest glance; and even that
+so seldom, that I can safely swear, in twelve years, during which I have
+loved her more than the light of these eyes, which will one day be
+closed in dust, I have not seen her more than four times, and even in
+these four times, perhaps, she hath not perceived me looking at her more
+than once. Such is the restraint and reserve in which her father Lorenzo
+Corchuelo, and her mother Aldonza Nogales, have brought her up!’
+
+‘Ah, ha!’ cried Sancho, ‘is the daughter of Lorenzo Corchuelo, whose
+other name is Aldonza Lorenza, the same with the Lady Dulcinea?’—‘Yes,’
+answered the knight; ‘and she deserves to be lady of the whole
+universe.’—‘I know her perfectly well,’ said Sancho; ‘and this will
+venture to say in her behalf, that she will pitch the bar as well as
+e’er a lusty young fellow in the village. Bless the sender! she is a
+strapper, tall, and hale wind and limb; and can lift out of the mire any
+squire or knight errant, who shall chuse her for his sweetheart. Ah! the
+whore’s chick! what a pair of lungs and voice has she got! I heard her
+one day halloo from the belfray to some young fellows of her
+acquaintance, who were at work in a corn-field of her father’s; and,
+though it was at the distance of half a league, they heard her as plain
+as if they had been right under the steeple; and what is better still,
+she is not at all coy, but behaves herself civilly; and jokes and romps,
+and plays the rogue with any body. Now, Sir Knight of the Rueful
+Countenance, I say that your worship not only has cause to run mad for
+her, but even to despair and hang yourself, and I am sure nobody that
+heard it, but would say you had done extremely well; even though the
+devil should run away with you; and truly, I wish I were now upon my
+way, merely to see her; for I have not beheld her these many days: and,
+surely, she must be greatly altered; for the sun and weather does very
+much damage to the face of a woman who is always at work in the field.
+To tell you the truth, Sir Don Quixote, I have hitherto lived in great
+ignorance with respect to my Lady Dulcinea, whom I verily believed to be
+some princess, that your worship was in love with; or a person of such
+rank as to deserve the rich presents you sent to her; namely, the
+Biscayan and galley-slaves, with many others whom you conquered in the
+course of your numberless victories, both before and since I have been
+your squire, But, when one considers the affair, what benefits can my
+Lady Aldonza Lorenzo—I mean, my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso, reap from your
+worship’s sending, or having sent those whom you overcome in battle, to
+fall upon their knees before her? especially as they might chance to
+come at a time when she is busy, carding flax and threshing corn; in
+which case, they would be ashamed to see her, and she laugh and be out
+of humour at their arrival.’—‘I have frequently observed before now,
+Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘that thou art an everlasting babbler; and,
+though of a shallow understanding, thy bluntness borders often on
+severity; but, to convince thee of thy own ignorance and my discretion,
+thou shalt give ear to a short story which I will relate.
+
+‘Know, then, that once upon a time a certain handsome widow, young,
+free, wealthy, and, above all, good-humoured, fell in love with a thick,
+squat, brawny, lay-brother, belonging to a neighbouring convent; the
+superior of which being informed of the affair, said to the widow, one
+day, by way of brotherly reproof, “I am amazed, Madam, and not without
+cause, that a lady of your rank, beauty, and fortune, should bestow your
+affection upon such a low, simple, clownish fellow; when there are so
+many masters, graduates, and divines, in the convent, among whom your
+ladyship may chuse, as one picks pears, saying, ‘This I like, that I
+loath.’” The lady answered, with great freedom and vivacity, “Signior,
+you are very much deceived, and very old-fashioned in your opinion, if
+you think I have made a bad choice in that fellow who seems so simple:
+for, in that particular which I admire, he is as much of a philosopher,
+nay, more than Aristotle himself.” In like manner, Sancho, Dulcinea del
+Toboso is as proper for my occasions as the highest princess upon earth.
+All the poets, who have celebrated ladies, under names which they
+invented at pleasure, had not really such mistresses as they describe.
+Dost thou imagine, that all the Amaryllis’s, Silvia’s, Phillis’s,
+Diana’s, Galatea’s, Alida’s, and other names so often met with in
+romances, poems, barbers shops, and on the stage, actually belonging to
+ladies of flesh and blood, who were adored by those who sing, and have
+sung their praises? No, surely; but, on the contrary, are, for the most
+part, feigned and adopted as the subjects of verse, that the poets may
+be thought men of amorous and gallant dispositions. Wherefore, let it
+suffice, that I imagine and believe the worthy Aldonza Lorenzo to be
+beautiful and modest: and, as to her pedigree, it is a matter of small
+importance; there is no necessity for taking information on that head,
+as if she were to be invested with some order of knighthood; and I take
+it for granted, that she is the noblest princess in the universe; for,
+thou must know, Sancho, if it be a thing of which thou art ignorant,
+that the two qualities, which, above all others, inspire love, are
+beauty and reputation: and these two is Dulcinea in consummate
+possession of; for in beauty she excels all women, and is equalled by
+very few in point of reputation. And, to conclude, I imagine that all I
+have said is true, without exaggeration or diminution. I paint her in my
+fancy according to my wish, as well in beauty as in rank; unexcelled by
+Helen, unrivalled by Lucretia, or any other heroine of ages past,
+whether Grecian, Roman, or Barbarian; and let people say what they will,
+if I am blamed by the ignorant, I shall be acquitted by the most rigid
+of those who are proper judges of the case.’—‘I say,’ answered Sancho,
+‘that your worship is very much in the right, and I am no better than an
+ass: but I know not why I should mention the word ass; for one ought not
+to talk of halters in the house of a man who was hanged. But give me the
+letter, and farewel till I return.’
+
+Don Quixote pulled out the memorandum-book, and, stepping aside, with
+great composure, began to write the letter; which, when he had finished,
+he called to Sancho, saying he wanted to read it to him, that he might
+retain it in his memory, in case he should lose it by the way; for every
+thing was to be feared from his evil fortune. ‘Your worship,’ answered
+Sancho, ‘may write it down two or three times in the book, and I will
+take special care to convey it safely; but it is folly to suppose that I
+can retain it in my memory, which is so bad, that I have many a time
+forgot my own name; but, notwithstanding, pray, Sir, read it to me; I
+shall be hugely rejoiced to hear it; for it must certainly be curiously
+penned.’—‘Listen then, and I will read it,’ said Don Quixote; who began
+as follows.
+
+ Don Quixote’s Letter to Dulcinea del Toboso.
+
+ ‘SOVEREIGN AND SUBLIME PRINCESS,
+
+ ‘He who is wounded by the edge of absence, and whose heart is stuck
+ full of the darts of affliction, most divine Dulcinea del Toboso!
+ wishes thee that health which he is not doomed to enjoy. If I am
+ scorned by thy beauty, if thy virtue affords me no relief, if thy
+ disdain compleats my misfortune; albeit, I am inured to suffering, I
+ can ill support the misery I bear; which hath not only been
+ excessive, but also of long duration. My trusty squire Sancho will
+ give thee an ample relation, O ungrateful beauty and lovely foe! of
+ the situation in which I remain on thy account: if it be thy will to
+ succour me, I am thy slave: if not, use thy pleasure; for the end of
+ my life will satisfy thy cruelty and my desire. Thine till death,
+
+ ‘THE KNIGHT OF THE RUEFUL COUNTENANCE.’
+
+‘By my father’s soul!’ cried Sancho, ‘this is the highest thing I ever
+heard. Odds-niggers! how your worship writes whatsoever you please, and
+how curiously you conclude, “The Knight of the Rueful Countenance.” I
+verily believe your worship is the devil himself, and knows every
+thing.’—‘All that knowledge,’ replied the knight, ‘is necessary for the
+employment I profess.’—‘Why, then,’ said the squire, ‘be so good as to
+write on the other leaf the order for the three colts, and be sure to
+subscribe distinctly, that when it is presented, your hand-writing may
+be known.’—‘With all my heart!’ said Don Quixote, who having written the
+order, read it aloud in these terms.
+
+ ‘DEAR NIECE,
+
+ ‘Please deliver to Sancho Panza, my squire, or order, at sight of
+ this my first bill of colts, three of the five which I left at home
+ in your custody; which three colts I order you to pay, in return for
+ the like number received of him: and this bill, together with his
+ receipt, shall be a sufficient acquittance to you.
+
+ ‘Given in the heart of the brown mountain, the twentieth and second
+ of August, this present year.’
+
+Sancho liked the form, and desired his master to sign it. ‘There is no
+occasion for my signing it,’ said Don Quixote, ‘with any thing but my
+cypher, which is sufficient not only for three, but three hundred
+asses.’—‘As to that, I will take your worship’s word; and now give me
+leave to go and saddle Rozinante, which when I have done, and received
+your blessing, I intend forthwith to depart, without staying to see you
+play any foolish tricks, though I will affirm, I have beheld you perform
+so many, that she will desire to hear no more of the matter.’—‘At least,
+Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘I would have thee, because there is a
+necessity for it, stay and see me strip, and perform a dozen or two of
+mad pranks, which I can easily finish in half an hour; for, when thine
+eyes shall have been witnesses of some things I will act, thou mayest
+safely swear to what additions thou shalt make in thy report; and I
+assure thee, thou wilt not relate the half of what I intend to
+atchieve.’—‘For the love of God, dear Sir!’ cried Sancho, ‘let me not
+see your worship naked; for it will give me so much uneasiness, that I
+shall not be able to refrain from weeping; and my head aches already
+with the sorrow I felt last night about Dapple; so that I cannot bear to
+be set a mourning again; wherefore, if it be your worship’s pleasure
+that I should see some of your mad actions, pray dispatch them in your
+cloaths; and let them be such as will stand you in most stead: for my
+own part, I think there is no occasion for any such thing; and if you
+dispense with them, it will save time, and send me back the sooner with
+such news as your worship desires and deserves. For, if my Lady Dulcinea
+is not prepared to send a reasonable answer, I solemnly protest, I will
+extract a favourable reply out of her maw, by kicking and cussing. What!
+is it to be borne, that such a renowned knight-errant as your worship,
+should run mad without why or wherefore, on account of a —— I would not
+have her ladyship compel me to speak; or, egad, I shall blab things by
+the dozen, even though they should spoil the market. I am a rare fellow
+at that sport. I find she knows a little of my temper, otherwise
+i’faith! she would take care to give me no offence.’—‘In good faith,
+Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘thou seemest to be as mad as myself.’—‘Not
+quite so mad,’ replied the squire, ‘but a little more cholerick; but
+enough of that. What eatables has your worship got to live upon till my
+return? will you go to the high-road, and rob the shepherds, like
+Cardenio?’—‘Let not that give thee any concern,’ answered the knight;
+‘though I had store of provisions by me, I should eat nothing but the
+herbs and fruits which this meadow and these trees afford; the
+perfection of my design consisting in abstaining from food, and in
+encountering other hardships.’—‘Your worship must know,’ said Sancho,
+‘that I am afraid I shall not find my way back again to this concealed
+and unfrequented place, in which I leave your worship.’—‘Take good
+notice of the marks,’ answered the knight, ‘and I shall endeavour to
+remain always near this very spot: nay, I will take care to ascend the
+highest rocks hereabouts, that I may have a chance of descrying thee
+afar off, in thy return. But, the best scheme for preventing thy being
+bewildered, will be, to cut down some of the furze that grows here in
+great plenty, and drop bunches of it, at small distances on the way,
+until thou shalt reach the flat country: and they will serve as
+land-marks to guide thee hither on thy return, like the clue of Theseus,
+in the labyrinth of Crete.’
+
+‘I will take your advice,’ said Sancho; who accordingly cutting a large
+bundle, begged his master’s blessing, and took his leave, not without
+many tears on both sides. Then mounting Rozinante, whom Don Quixote
+strongly recommended to his care, commanding him to pay as much regard
+to the steed as he would shew for his own person; he set out for the
+plain, scattering, by the way, the furze he had cut, according to the
+direction of his master. In this manner then, did he begin his journey,
+notwithstanding the incessant importunities of Don Quixote, who
+solicited him to stay and see some of his extravagancies: but, he had
+not travelled above an hundred yards, when he returned, saying, ‘I
+confess your worship was in the right, when you observed, that, in order
+to my swearing with a safe conscience that I have seen you perform mad
+pranks, it would be necessary for you to play some in my presence;
+although, in my opinion, I have seen a pretty good sample already in
+your staying here by yourself.’—‘Did not I tell thee so, Sancho?’ said
+Don Quixote: ‘wait a little, and I will finish them in a twinkling.’ So
+saying, he stripped off his breeches in a great hurry, leaving his
+posteriors covered by the tail of his shirt alone, and without farther
+ceremony, cut a couple of capers, and a like number of tumbles, with his
+head down and his heels up, disclosing particulars, which shocked the
+modesty of Sancho so much, that in order to avoid the sight of them a
+second time, he turned Rozinante, fully satisfied and pleased, that he
+might now honestly swear he had left his master distracted. We will
+therefore let him pursue his journey, till his return, which was more
+speedy than could be expected.
+
+Footnote 78:
+
+ The Beautiful Obscure.
+
+Footnote 79:
+
+ Lo! Sancho’s ass hath disappeared again.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XII.
+ A CONTINUATION OF THE REFINEMENTS IN LOVE,
+ PRACTISED BY DON QUIXOTE IN THE BROWN MOUNTAIN.
+
+
+But, to return to the account of what the Knight of the Rueful
+Countenance executed when he found himself alone. The history relates,
+that, having performed the capers and the tumbles, naked, from the waist
+downward, and perceived that Sancho was gone, without waiting to see
+more of his extravagancies, he climbed to the top of a high rock, and
+there revolved what he had often reflected upon without coming to any
+conclusion; namely, whether it was better and more fit for his purpose,
+to imitate Orlando in his outrageous, or Amadis in his melancholy
+madness. ‘It is not to be wondered at,’ said he within himself, ‘if
+Orlando was such a stout and valiant knight as he is represented; for he
+was actually inchanted, and invulnerable by every weapon but the point
+of a pin, thrust into his foot, upon which he always wore a shoe with
+seven soles of iron: though that precaution did not avail him against
+Bernardo del Carpeio, who being informed of the contrivance, strangled
+him in his arms at the battle of Roncevalles: but the circumstance of
+his valour apart, let us consider that of his losing his senses, which
+actually happened, when he found the tokens in the fountain, and
+received the information of the shepherd, by which he learned that
+Angelica had slept more than two afternoons with Modero, the little Moor
+with curled locks, who was Agramante’s page; and, truly, if he was
+convinced in his own mind, that his mistress had misbehaved in that
+manner, it was no great feat to run mad upon the discovery. But why
+should I imitate him in his madness, when the occasion is not similar;
+for, my Dulcinea del Toboso, I dare swear, never in all the days of her
+life, beheld one Moor in his own likeness; and is this day as much a
+virgin as the mother that bore her; I should therefore do her a manifest
+injury, in imagining otherwise, and adopting that kind of madness which
+possessed Orlando Furioso. On the other hand, I am sensible that Amadis
+de Gaul, without losing his senses, or acting the madman, acquired as
+much, or more fame than he, in the character of a lover; for, according
+to the history, all that he did, when he found himself in disgrace with
+his mistress Oriana, who banished him from her presence during pleasure,
+was to retire, in company of a hermit, to the poor rock, where he
+contented himself with bemoaning his misfortune, until Heaven sent him
+succour, in the midst of his great necessity and affliction. If this
+circumstance, therefore, be true, as I know it is, why should I now take
+the trouble of stripping myself naked, or give umbrage to these trees,
+which have done me no harm! or what reason have I to defile the pure
+stream of these rivulets, which, when I want it, will yield me pleasant
+drink! Flourish, then, the memory of Amadis! and let him be imitated as
+much as possible, by Don Quixote de La Mancha, of whom may be said, that
+which is recorded of another[80], “If he did not atchieve great things,
+at least he died in attempting.” And, though I am not banished nor
+disdained by my Dulcinea, let it suffice, as I have already said, that I
+am absent from her. Come, then, let us begin: recur to my remembrance,
+ye feats of Amadis, and initiate me in the imitation of your fame. I
+know his chief exercise was prayer, and in that too will I follow his
+example.’ So saying, he composed a rosary of the large galls of a cork
+tree, which he strung together instead of beads; but, he found an
+unsurmountable difficulty in the want of an hermit to confess and
+console him: wherefore, he entertained himself in strolling about the
+meadow, writing and engraving verses on the barks of trees, and the
+smooth sand; all of them on the subject of his own melancholy, or in
+praise of his mistress Dulcinea; but, after he was found in this place,
+none, except the following, remained intelligible and entire.
+
+
+ I.
+
+ Ye trees and herbs, so green and tall,
+ That shade this meadow, and adorn,
+ If you rejoice not at my thrall,
+ Give ear unto a wretch forlorn;
+ Nor let my grief, though loud, invade
+ Your peace; but, by Don Quixote, be a
+ Self-offer’d tax of sorrow, paid
+ In absence of his Dulcinea
+ del Toboso.
+
+ II.
+
+ These are the rocks to which he’s driven
+ By her who seems not much to care for
+ The truest lover under heaven:
+ And yet he knows not why nor wherefore.
+ By love toss’d like a tennis-ball,
+ A cask of tears will not defray a
+ Whole day’s expence of grief and gall,
+ In absence of his Dulcinea
+ del Toboso.
+
+ III.
+
+ Among these craggy rocks and brambles,
+ He hangs, alas! on sorrow’s tenters;
+ Or curses, as alone he rambles,
+ The cruel cause of his misventures.
+ Unpitying love about his ears,
+ With scourge severe began to play a
+ Most dreadful game, that made his tears
+ Flow for his absent Dulcinea
+ del Toboso.
+
+These verses, with the addition of del Toboso, to the name of Dulcinea,
+afforded infinite diversion to those who found them: for, they concluded
+Don Quixote had imagined, that, if he named her without this title, the
+stanza could not possibly be understood; and this was really the case,
+as he afterwards owned. Many other ditties did he compose; but, as we
+have already observed, none but these three stanzas could be decyphered
+and read. In this amusement, in sighing, invoking the fauns and sylvans
+of those woods, the nymphs of the brooks, with the damp and doleful echo
+to hear, console, and resound his complaints; and, in culling plants to
+sustain nature, he employed himself till the return of Sancho, who, had
+he stayed three weeks, instead of three days, the knight of the rueful
+countenance would have been so emaciated and disfigured, that he could
+not have been known by the mother who bore him.
+
+However, it will not be amiss to leave him, engrossed by his sighs and
+poetry; in order to recount what happened to Sancho Panza, in the
+execution of his embassy. Having reached the highway, this trusty
+messenger took the road to Toboso, and next day arrived at the very inn
+where he had met with the disgraceful adventure of the blanketting. He
+no sooner perceived the unlucky house, than he fancied himself cutting
+capers in the air again; and was very lothe to enter, although it was
+then dinner time, and he was very much instigated by the desire of
+tasting something hot, as he had lived for a great many days past on
+cold victuals only. This inclination compelled him to ride close up to
+the inn, where, while he was sitting in suspence, and hesitating whether
+or not he should enter, two persons happened to come to the door, and
+knowing him immediately, the one said to the other, ‘Pray, Mr.
+Licentiate, is not that man on horseback our neighbour Sancho Panza;
+who, as the housekeeper told us, went out with our adventurer in quality
+of squire?’—‘The very same,’ answered the licentiate, ‘and that is the
+individual horse of our friend Don Quixote.’ And no wonder they should
+know him so easily; for they were no other than the curate and barber of
+the knight’s town, by whom the scrutiny and trial of his books were
+held. Having therefore recognized Sancho Panza and Rozinante, and being
+impatient to hear news of Don Quixote, they ran up to the squire, and
+the curate called him by name, saying, ‘Friend Sancho, where is your
+master?’ Sancho, who recollected them also, resolved to conceal the
+place and condition in which he had left his master; and therefore
+answered, that the knight was in a certain place, employed about a
+certain affair of the utmost importance, which he durst not disclose for
+the eyes that stood in his head. ‘That pretence will not do, Sancho,’
+said the barber; ‘if you refuse to tell where he is, we shall imagine,
+as indeed we do, that you have robbed and murdered him, and taken
+possession of his horse; so that in good sooth, you must either produce
+him, or in this very spot, we will——’ ‘You have no occasion,’ cried
+Sancho, interrupting him, ‘to threaten people in this manner; I am not
+the man to rob and murder any person; every man must fall by his own
+fortune, or by the will of God that created him: my master is sound and
+safe, doing penance in the midst of that mountain, to his heart’s
+content.’ He then, without pausing, in a breath informed them of the
+condition in which he left him, recounted all the adventures which had
+happened to him, and told them of the letter he was carrying to my Lady
+Dulcinea del Toboso, who was no other than Lorenzo Corchuelo’s daughter,
+with whom his master was up to his ears in love.
+
+They were astonished at what the squire related, and though well
+acquainted with the particular species of Don Quixote’s madness, this
+instance afforded fresh admiration: they desired Sancho to shew them the
+letter for the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso; and he told them it was only a
+rough draught, written on the leaf of a pocket-book; and that his master
+had ordered him to get it transcribed on a sheet of paper, with the
+first convenient opportunity. The curate promised to transcribe it in a
+fair legible hand, and again desiring a sight of it, Sancho put his hand
+in his bosom, in search of the book, which, however, he could not find;
+and indeed, had he fumbled till this time, it would have been to no
+purpose; for he had left it with Don Quixote, who had forgot to give, as
+he to ask it of him, before he set out. Sancho missing his charge, grew
+pale as death, and searching again his whole body with great eagerness,
+could find nothing; upon which, without more ado, he laid hold of his
+beard with both hands, and plucked one half of it from his chin; then,
+with vast dispatch and precipitation, belaboured his face and nose in
+such a manner, as left the whole covered with blood. The curate and
+barber seeing him make so free with his own person, asked what had
+happened to him, that made him handle himself so roughly. ‘What has
+happened to me?’ cried the squire, ‘I have lost and let slip through my
+fingers in an instant, three ass colts, each of which was as tall as a
+tower.’—‘By what means?’ resumed the barber. ‘I have lost,’ answered
+Sancho, ‘the pocket-book, in which was written the letter for Dulcinea,
+together with an order, signed by my master’s own hand, desiring his
+niece to deliver to me three colts out of four or five which he has at
+home.’ At the same time he told them how he had lost Dapple. The curate
+comforted him, by saying, that when he returned, his master would renew
+the order, and give him a bill upon paper, as the custom is, for those
+written in pocket-books are never accepted or paid.
+
+With this assurance Sancho consoled himself, observing, since that was
+the case, he should not give himself much uneasiness about the loss of
+the letter, which, as he retained it by heart, he could cause to be
+transcribed where and when he pleased. The barber desired him to repeat
+it, telling him they would transcribe it; upon which Sancho began to
+scratch his head, in order to recollect it, standing sometimes on one
+foot, sometimes on the other. One while he fixed his eyes upon the
+ground, then lifted them up to Heaven; at last, after a most tedious
+pause, during which he gnawed off the half of one of his nails, and kept
+his hearers in the most impatient suspence; ‘‘Fore God, Mr. Licentiate,’
+said he, ‘I believe the devil has run away with every word that I
+remembered of this letter; though I am positive it began with subterrene
+and sublime princess!’—‘It could not be subterrene,’ said the barber,
+‘but superterrene or sovereign.’—‘You are in the right,’ resumed Sancho;
+‘then, if my memory does not fail me, it went on with the smitten, the
+sleepless, and the sore, kisses your hands, most ungrateful and
+unregarded beauty; and something or other of health and distemper which
+he wished her; running on at this rate, till he concluded with, “yours,
+till death, the Knight of the Rueful Countenance.”’
+
+The hearers were not a little diverted with this specimen of Sancho’s
+memory, which they applauded very much; desiring him to repeat the
+letter again, twice over, that they might retain it, until they could
+have an opportunity of transcribing it. He accordingly renewed his
+efforts, repeated it three times; and as often recited three thousand
+other absurdities. He likewise gave them an account of every thing which
+had befallen his master; but mentioned not a syllable of the blanketting
+that had happened to himself, in that very inn which he refused to
+enter; nay, he gave them to understand that his master, as soon as he
+could bring him a favourable dispatch from my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso,
+would put himself in the way of becoming an emperor or monarch at least,
+according to the plan settled between them. This he represented as a
+very easy matter, considering the valour of his person, and strength of
+his arm; and told them, that this design would be no sooner
+accomplished, than the knight would bestow upon him in marriage, (for by
+that time, he must of necessity be a widower) one of the maids of honour
+to the empress; a fine young lady, and heiress of a vast and wealthy
+estate upon the main land, without any oilands or islands, which he did
+not much care for.
+
+Sancho uttered this piece of wrong-headed information with such
+composure, wiping his nose from time to time, that his townsmen could
+not help admiring anew the madness of Don Quixote; which, like a
+whirlpool, had sucked in and swept along with it the understanding of
+this poor simpleton. They did not chuse to fatigue themselves with
+endeavours to convince him of his error; but, as they believed it was
+not prejudicial to his conscience, resolved, for their amusement, to
+encourage him in his folly; with this view they advised him to pray to
+God for long life and health to his master; and observed, that it was a
+thing both likely and feasible that he should, in process of time,
+become an emperor, at least an archbishop, or attain some station of
+equal dignity. To this encouragement Sancho replied, ‘Gentlemen, if
+fortune should bring matters about, so as that my master should incline
+to be an archbishop rather than an emperor, I should be glad to know
+what archbishops-errant bestow upon their squires?’ The curate told him,
+that they commonly gave him some simple benefice, curacy, or the office
+of sacristan, with a good yearly income, besides the fees of the altar,
+which are usually reckoned at as much more. ‘In order to fill an
+employment of that kind,’ answered Sancho, ‘the squire must be
+unmarried, and at least capable of assisting at mass; and if that be the
+case, what will become of me, who have not only the misfortune to be
+married, but am also ignorant of the first letter of the A, B, C; should
+my master take it in his head to be an archbishop, rather than an
+emperor, according to the custom of knights-errant?’—‘Don’t make
+yourself uneasy about that matter, friend Sancho,’ said the barber; ‘for
+we will intreat and advise your master, nay, even make it an affair of
+conscience, for him to become an emperor rather than archbishop, as a
+station more suited to his disposition, which is more war-like than
+studious.’—‘I was of the same opinion,’ resumed Sancho; ‘but now, I’ll
+venture to say, he has a capacity for every thing; and what I intend to
+do, is to beseech our Lord to direct his choice to that station which
+will be most for his own honour and my advantage.’—‘You speak like a
+sensible man,’ said the curate; ‘and in so doing will act the part of a
+good Christian; but, our present business is to think on some means of
+putting an end to this useless penance your master has imposed upon
+himself; and in the mean time go in to dinner.’ Sancho desired them to
+enter, saying he would wait for them at the door, and afterwards tell
+them why he did not go in, and wherefore it was not proper for him so to
+do; but begged they would be so good as to bring out something hot for
+himself, and some barley for Rozinante. They accordingly went in, and in
+a little time the barber brought him out a mess of hot victuals. After
+they had both maturely deliberated about the means of accomplishing
+their design, the curate fell upon a scheme, extremely well-adapted to
+the taste of the knight, as well as to their purpose. He proposed to
+clothe himself in the dress of a lady-errant, and that the barber should
+disguise himself as well as he could, in the likeness of a squire; which
+being done, they should go to the place where Don Quixote was, and the
+priest, on pretence of being a damsel in distress, should beg a boon,
+which he, as a valiant knight-errant, could not help granting. This boon
+should be a request, that he would accompany her to a certain place
+whither she would conduct him, there to redress an injury she had
+received from a discourteous knight; and the boon should be attended
+with an humble supplication, that he would not desire her to take off
+her mask, nor ask any question about her affairs, until he should have
+done her justice upon her adversary. And as he firmly believed that Don
+Quixote would comply with any request made in that stile, he hoped, by
+these means, to withdraw him from the mountain, and conduct him to his
+own habitation, where they would endeavour to find some remedy for his
+strange disorder.
+
+Footnote 80:
+
+ Probably alluding to the epitaph of Phaeton.
+
+ _Hic situs est Phaeton, currus auriga paterni,_
+ _Quem si non tenuit, magnis tamen excidit ausis._
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIII.
+ HOW THE CURATE AND BARBER SET OUT
+ ON THE EXECUTION OF THEIR PLAN;
+ WITH OTHER EVENTS WORTHY TO BE RECORDED IN THIS SUBLIME HISTORY.
+
+
+This scheme of the curate was so well relished by the barber, that they
+began to put it in execution immediately; by borrowing of the landlady a
+petticoat and tucker, for which the priest lent a new cassock in pawn;
+while the barber made an artificial beard of the tail of a pied ox, in
+which the innkeeper used to stick his comb. When the hostess asked what
+occasion they had for these things, the curate gave her a brief account
+of Don Quixote’s madness, and explained the use to which they intended
+to put the disguise, in order to disengage him from the mountain where
+he then was. The innkeeper and his wife immediately discovered that this
+lunatick was no other than their quondam guest, who was author of the
+balsam, and master of the blanketted squire; and recounted to the curate
+every thing that had happened, not even forgetting the circumstance
+which Sancho was at such pains to conceal. In short, the landlady
+dressed up the curate in a most curious manner; she put upon him a cloth
+petticoat flounced and furbelowed, with a broad border of black velvet,
+and a close jerkin of green velvet, garnished with robings of white
+sattin, which, together with the petticoat, seemed to have been made in
+the reign of King Bamba[81]; he would not suffer himself to be coifed,
+but covered his head with a quilted linen night-cap, which he always
+carried about with him; and bound his forehead with a garter of black
+taffety, making a sort of mask with the other, which effectually
+concealed his countenance and beard. Over all, he slapped his beaver,
+which was so broad that it might have served for an umbrella; and,
+wrapping himself up in his cloak, mounted his mule, sitting sideways
+like a woman; while the barber bestrid his own beast, with his beard
+flowing down to his girdle, of a white and red colour, being made, as we
+have before observed, of a pied ox’s tail.
+
+Thus equipped, they took leave of every body present, even the kind
+Maritornes, who promised, though a sinner, to mumble a whole rosary over
+in prayers to God, for the good success of that arduous and Christian
+design they had undertaken; but scarce had they sallied from the inn,
+when the curate began to think he was to blame for disguising himself;
+it being, in his opinion, indecent for a priest to appear in such a
+manner, how much soever depended upon their success. He therefore
+proposed that he should exchange characters with the barber, who might
+act the part of the damsel in distress, while he took that of the
+squire, which he thought did not so much profane the dignity of the
+cloth; and unless his neighbour would agree to this proposal, he assured
+him that he was resolved to go no farther, even if the devil himself
+should carry off Don Quixote. At that instant Sancho chanced to come up,
+and seeing them in such a garb, could not refrain from laughing; in
+short, the barber assented to every thing the other proposed; and the
+plan being thus altered, the curate began to instruct him touching his
+behaviour and speech to Don Quixote, in order to move and induce him to
+accompany them, and quit that place he had chosen for the scene of his
+vain and extravagant penance. The barber told him, that without his
+lessons, he knew very well how to demean himself in the character; and
+as he did not chuse to put on the dress till they should be near Don
+Quixote, he folded it up with great care; the priest adjusted his beard;
+and both together proceeded, on their journey, under the direction, of
+Sancho Panza, who by the way related to them what happened between his
+master and the madman whom they met with in the Brown Mountain;
+concealing, nevertheless, the circumstance of the portmanteau, and its
+contents; for, notwithstanding his simplicity, our youth was as covetous
+as wiser people.
+
+Next day they came to the broom boughs, which Sancho had strewed, in
+order to ascertain the place where he had left his master: he no sooner,
+therefore, perceived his marks, than he told them, that was the entrance
+into the mountain; and desired them to put on their dresses, if they
+were necessary towards the deliverance of his master: for they had
+already assured him, that their travelling in such disguise was of the
+utmost importance, in disengaging the knight from that disagreeable
+course of life he had chosen: and they charged him not to tell his
+master that he knew who they were; and if he should ask, as doubtless he
+would, whether or not he had delivered the letter to Dulcinea, they
+advised him to answer in the affirmative, and tell him, that as she
+could not read it, she had sent her answer by word of mouth, commanding
+him, on pain of her displeasure, to appear in her presence with all
+convenient speed, on an affair of the utmost consequence to him: for,
+with this answer, and other speeches they intended to make, they did not
+at all doubt of reconciling him to a better way of life, and prevail
+upon him immediately to begin his career towards being an emperor or
+king; and as to the office of archbishop, Sancho had nothing to fear.
+The squire listened to these directions, which he carefully deposited in
+his memory, thanking them heartily for their intention to advise his
+master to accept of an emperor’s crown, rather than an archbishop’s
+mitre; as he was very sensible that emperors could do more for their
+squires than archbishops-errant. He also proposed to go before, in
+search of his master, and impart to him this answer of his lady, which,
+he assured them, would be sufficient to bring him out of the mountain,
+without their being put to any farther trouble. They approved of his
+opinion, and resolved to stay where they were until he should return
+with the news of his having found Don Quixote: accordingly, Sancho
+proceeded towards the heart of the mountain, leaving them in a spot
+watered by a small purling brook, and shaded in a most cool and
+agreeable manner by some rocks and trees that grew round it.
+
+It being then the month of August, when the heat in those parts is
+excessive, and three in the afternoon, which is the hottest time of the
+day, they were the more charmed with the situation, which was so
+inviting, that they chose it for the place of their residence, until
+Sancho should return. While they lay at their ease, under the covert of
+this shade, their ears were saluted with the sound of a voice, which,
+though unaccompanied by any instrument, sung so sweet and melodiously,
+that they were struck with astonishment; little expecting to meet with
+such a delicious warbler in that unfrequented place; for though it is
+usually said, that the woods and mountains abound with shepherds, who
+sing most inchantingly, that report is rather the fiction of poets than
+the voice of truth: besides, the verses which they heard were not
+composed in the rustick phrase of clowns, but in a polite and courtly
+strain; as may be perceived by the song itself, which follows:
+
+
+ I.
+
+ Ah! what inspires my woeful strain?
+ Unkind disdain!
+ Ah what augments my misery?
+ Fell jealousy!
+ Or say, what hath my patience worn?
+ An absent lover’s scorn.
+ The torments, then, that I endure,
+ No mortal remedy can cure:
+ For every languid hope is slain,
+ By absence, jealousy, disdain!
+
+ II.
+
+ From Love, my unrelenting foe,
+ These sorrows flow!
+ My infant glory’s overthrown,
+ By Fortune’s frown;
+ Confirm’d in this my wretched state,
+ By the decrees of Fate.
+ In Death alone I hope release
+ From this compounded, dire disease;
+ Whole cruel pangs to aggravate,
+ Fortune and Love conspire with Fate!
+
+ III.
+
+ Ah, what will mitigate my doom?
+ The silent tomb!
+ Ah! what retrieve departed joy?
+ Inconstancy!
+ Or say, can aught but frenzy, bear
+ This tempest of despair?
+ All other efforts, then, are vain,
+ To cure this soul-tormenting pain,
+ That owns no other remedy
+ Than madness, death, inconstancy.
+
+The hour, the season, and the solitude, conspired with the agreeable
+voice of the singer, to increase the wonder and satisfaction of the
+hearers, who listened for some time in expectation of something else;
+but the silence having continued a good while, they resolved to go in
+quest of the person who sung so enchantingly, and were just going to set
+out on this design, when they were arrested by the same voice, which
+again saluted their ears with this other song:
+
+
+ I.
+
+ O sacred Friendship! mild and gay,
+ Who to the regions of the bless’d
+ Hath soar’d, and left mankind a prey
+ To fraud, in thy resemblance dress’d:
+
+ II.
+
+ Auspicious hear, and hither send
+ Thy sister Truth, with radiant eyes,
+ To brand the false professing friend,
+ Detected in the fair disguise.
+
+ III.
+
+ Or come thyself, and re-inspire
+ The purpose candid and humane;
+ Else Peace and Order will retire,
+ While Horror and Confusion reign.
+
+This sonnet was concluded with a most profound sigh, and the curate and
+barber began again to listen for more; but, finding the musick converted
+into mournful sobs and interjections, they were determined to know who
+this melancholy person was, who sung so well, and groaned so piteously.
+They had not gone many paces with this intent, when turning the point of
+a rock, they perceived a man of the same make and appearance that Sancho
+described, when he related the story of Cardenio: he did not seem
+surprized at sight of them, but stood with his head reclining upon his
+breast, in a very pensive posture, without lifting his eyes to look at
+them, after their first sudden appearance. The curate, who was a
+well-spoken man, concluding, from the description, that this must be he
+whose misfortune he had been apprized of, went up, and in a short, but
+pathetick address, exhorted and entreated him to quit that miserable
+course of life, which was the greatest of all misfortunes, and
+altogether perverted the end of his being. Cardenio being at that time
+in one of his lucid intervals, entirely free of that frantick paroxism
+which used so utterly to deprive him of his senses, and seeing two
+people so differently dressed from those he commonly met with in that
+solitude, could not help being somewhat surprized; especially, when he
+heard him talk of his misfortune as a circumstance with which they were
+well acquainted; for the curate had mentioned it in the course of his
+expostulation: and therefore he answered in this manner: ‘I plainly
+perceive, gentlemen, that Heaven, which is careful in succouring the
+good, and sometimes even the bad, hath sent, though I little deserve
+such favour and condescension, divers people into this unfrequented
+solitude, so remote from all commerce and society, in order to convince
+me by just and various arguments, how unreasonably I act in leading this
+kind of life, which they have endeavoured to make me exchange for a
+better; and, as they know not the reasons I have to think that, in
+quitting this situation, I shall be plunged into a worse; they have
+perhaps looked upon me as a person of very shallow understanding, or,
+which is still a conjecture more unfavourable, a downright madman: and
+truly, it is not to be wondered at, if that was really the case; for I
+can easily conceive, that my misfortunes operate so intensely upon my
+imagination, and impair my faculties so much, that sometimes, in spite
+of all my endeavours to the contrary, I become, like that rock, void of
+all sentiment and knowledge; and am convinced of my infirmity too late,
+when people shew me the marks of what I have done, while I was under the
+influence of that terrible transport: then, all that I can do, is to
+bewail my distemper; curse my lot in vain; and, in excuse of my madness,
+relate my sufferings to all who express the least desire of hearing
+them; that those of sounder judgment, knowing the cause, may not wonder
+at the effects; and if they cannot prevent, at least pardon my frenzy;
+converting their indignation at my extravagance into compassion for my
+woes; and if you, gentlemen, are come with that intention, which hath
+brought others to this place, before you proceed with your prudent
+admonitions, I intreat you to hear the detail of my misfortunes, which
+you do not yet know, and then, perhaps, you will save yourselves the
+trouble which you might otherwise take, in consoling an affliction that
+admits of no consolation.’
+
+The two friends, who desired nothing else than to hear from his own
+mouth the cause of his misfortune, earnestly begged he would recount it,
+and promised to attempt nothing contrary to his own inclination in the
+way of remedy or comfort. Thus assured, the melancholy gentleman began
+his distressful story, nearly in the same words and circumstances which
+he had used a few days before, to Don Quixote and the goatherd, when he
+was interrupted in the affair of, Mr. Elisabat, by the knight’s
+punctuality in asserting the decorum of chivalry, as the particulars of
+that quarrel have been already related: but now he remained fortunately
+free from his paroxism, and of consequence, had time to finish the
+narration, which was imperfect before. When he therefore came to the
+circumstances of the letter which Don Fernando had found between the
+leaves of Amadis de Gaul[82], he said he remembered the contents, and
+accordingly repeated them in these terms.
+
+
+ ‘“LUCINDA TO CARDENIO.
+
+ ‘“I every day discover new qualities in Cardenio, which oblige and
+ compel me to esteem him the more. If you are inclined to extricate
+ me out of all suspence, you may effectuate your purpose, without the
+ least prejudice to my honour; for my father, who is, well acquainted
+ with your virtues, loves me dearly, and far from tyrannizing over my
+ affections, will chearfully grant that which is so justly your due,
+ if your passion is such as I wish and believe it to be.”
+
+‘I resolved, as I have already told you, to demand Lucinda in marriage,
+upon the receipt of this letter, which not only confirmed Don Fernando’s
+high opinion of her prudence and virtue, but also inflamed him with the
+desire of ruining my hopes, before I should be able to bring them to
+maturity. I told this faithless friend, Lucinda’s father expected that
+mine should propose the match; and that I durst not communicate my
+desire to him, lest he should refuse to comply with it: not that he was
+ignorant of Lucinda’s rank, virtue, beauty, and qualifications, which
+were sufficient to ennoble any other family in Spain; but, because I
+understood he was averse to my being married, until he should see what
+Duke Ricardo would do in my behalf; in short, I told him that I would
+not venture to propose it, being afraid not only of this ill
+consequence, but also of many others which I could not foresee; although
+I had a strong impression upon my mind, that my wishes would never be
+compleated. In answer to this declaration, Don Fernando undertook to
+manage the affair, and prevail upon my father to propose the match to
+Lucinda’s parents.——O villain! more ambitious than Marius, more cruel
+than Catiline, more savage than Sylla, more fraudulent than Galalon,
+more treacherous than Vellido[83], more vengeful than Julian, and more
+covetous than Judas! cruel, false, vindictive traitor! what injuries
+hast thou suffered from this poor credulous wretch, who with such
+confidence disclosed to thee the most secret recesses of his soul! What
+offence had he given? what words had he uttered, or what advice had he
+offered, that did not directly tend to thy honour and advantage?——But,
+unhappy that I am! wherefore should I complain? seeing it is a thing
+certain, that when once the tide of misfortune, heaped up by one’s
+malignant stars, begins to descend with violence and fury, no earthly
+mound can oppose, nor human industry divert its course. Who could
+imagine, that such an illustrious, accomplished young gentleman, as Don
+Fernando, who lay under obligations for the services I had done him, and
+was powerful enough to obtain the gratification of his wish,
+whithersoever his amorous inclination pointed, should plague himself, as
+I may say, in attempts to rob me of my single lamb, even before I had
+possessed it?
+
+‘But, let us lay aside these vain and unprofitable reflections, and
+rejoin the broken thread of my unfortunate story. Well, then, Don
+Fernando, perceiving that my presence would be an obstruction to the
+execution of his false and perfidious design, resolved to send me back
+to his elder brother, on pretence of getting money to pay for six
+horses, which he purposely bought that very day he undertook to speak to
+my father, in order to have an excuse for sending me away, that he
+might, in my absence, the more easily succeed in his villainous
+intention. Was it possible for me to prevent this treachery, or indeed
+conceive his design! No, surely. On the contrary, I offered, with the
+utmost alacrity, to set out forthwith, so pleased was I with the
+purchase he had made. That very night I had a private conversation with
+Lucinda, in which I told her the scheme I had concerted with Don
+Fernando, and bade her rest assured in the hope that our just and
+honourable desires would soon be gratified. She, as little suspicious of
+Don Fernando’s perfidy as I was, entreated me to return with speed,
+believing that our wishes would be compleated, as soon as my father
+should mention the affair to hers. I don’t know upon what account, her
+eyes were filled with tears when she pronounced these words; and
+something that seemed to swell in her throat, prevented her from
+uttering another syllable, though she looked as if she had something
+more to say. I was confounded at this new circumstance, which had never
+happened before; in all our former conversations, which my good fortune
+offered, or my diligence effected, there had been nothing but joy and
+satisfaction, without any mixture of tears, sighs, jealousy, dread, or
+suspicion; all my discourse used to consist of acknowledgments to
+Heaven, for having bestowed upon me such a mistress, whose beauty I
+extolled, and whose virtue and good sense I admired; while she returned
+the compliment, by praising those qualities in me, which she, in the
+partiality of her fondness, deemed worthy of applause; besides, we used
+to entertain each other with an account of a thousand trifling accidents
+that happened among our neighbours and acquaintance: and the heighth of
+my vivacity never amounted to more than the seizing of one of her
+delicate white hands, and pressing it to my lips, through the narrow
+distance betwixt the rails that divided us. But, on that night, which
+preceded the fatal day of my departure, she wept, sighed, and sobbed,
+and left me filled with confusion and surprize, and terrified at such
+unusual and melancholy marks of grief and affliction in my Lucinda. But
+I was flattered by my hopes, which ascribed the whole to the strength of
+her passion, and that sorrow which is commonly produced by the absence
+of a beloved object. In fine, I set out, pensive and sad, my imagination
+tortured with suspicions and doubts, which my reflection could neither
+digest nor explain: a sure presage of the melancholy fate that awaited
+me.
+
+‘I arrived at the place of my destination, and delivered my letters to
+Don Fernando’s brother, who received me kindly; but, far from
+dispatching me immediately, desired me, to my infinite regret, to wait
+eight whole days in a place where his father should not see me, because
+his brother had writ to him to send the money without the knowledge of
+the duke. But this was altogether an invention of the false Fernando,
+whose brother had money enough, and could have sent me back the very
+same day on which I arrived. This was such an order as I was scarce able
+to obey, for I thought it impossible to support life for so many days in
+the absence of Lucinda, considering the sorrow in which I had left her.
+Yet, notwithstanding, I resolved to do my duty like a faithful servant,
+though I very well foresaw that my obedience must be at the expence of
+my peace. Four days of the eight were not yet elapsed, when a man came
+in search of me, and gave me a letter, the superscription of which I no
+sooner beheld, than I knew it to be written by Lucinda’s own hand. I
+opened it with fear and trembling, believing that there must be
+something very extraordinary in the case, which induced her to write to
+me in my absence; considering that while I was present, she had been so
+sparing of her pen[84]. But, before I read a syllable, I asked the
+messenger, who had put it into his hands, and how long he had been upon
+his journey? He answered, that passing through a certain street, about
+noon, he was stopped by a very beautiful young lady, who called to him
+from a window, saying, with great earnestness, while the tears trickled
+from her eyes, “Brother, if you are a Christian, as you seem to be, I
+entreat you, for God’s sake, to carry this letter to the place and
+person for whom it is directed; they are both well known; and in so
+doing, you will render a piece of service acceptable to the Lord. That
+you may not want conveniences upon the road, here is something to defray
+the expence of your journey.”” So saying, she threw down a handkerchief,
+in which were tied a hundred rials, this gold ring, and the letter I
+have delivered. Then, without waiting for a reply, she went from the
+window, after having seen me take up the handkerchief and the letter,
+and make signs that I would do as she desired. Accordingly, finding
+myself so well paid for the trouble I should be at, and seeing, by the
+direction, that you was the person to whom it was sent, (and I know you
+perfectly well;) induced, moreover, by the tears of that beautiful young
+lady, I resolved to trust no other messenger, but come and deliver it
+with my own hand; and in sixteen hours, which are past since I received
+it, I have travelled to this place, which, as you know, is about
+eighteen leagues from our town. While I listened attentively to the
+information of this grateful and extraordinary courier, my legs shook
+under me in such a manner, that I could scarce stand upright. At length,
+however, I ventured to read the letter, which contained these words.
+
+ ‘“The promise which Don Fernando made, to prevail upon your father
+ to propose a match to mine, hath been performed more to his
+ inclination than your advantage. Know, Cardenio, that your pretended
+ friend allied me in marriage for himself; and my father, swayed by
+ the advantage which he thinks Don Fernando has over you in point of
+ fortune, hath given his consent so much in earnest, that two days
+ hence the nuptials are to be celebrated so privately, that none but
+ Heaven, and some people in the family, are to be present at the
+ marriage. My situation you may guess. If it be in your power, return
+ with all speed, and the event of this affair will shew whether I
+ love you tenderly or not. Heaven grant that this may come to your
+ hand, before mine shall be presented to him who so ill performs the
+ duty of a friend!”
+
+‘This, which was the sum of what the letter contained, made me set out
+immediately, without waiting for any answer, or the money for which I
+had come. For, by that time, I plainly perceived that it was not the
+purchase of the horses, but his own treacherous intention, which had
+induced Don Fernando to send me out of the way. The indignation I
+conceived against him, together with the fear of losing the jewel which
+I had acquired, and treasured up with such unwearied services and care,
+added wings to my speed, and conveyed me to the place of my habitation,
+just at the hour and minute proper for my going to visit Lucinda. I
+entered the town privately, and leaving my mule at the house of the
+honest man who brought the letter, I went to the rail, which was the
+constant witness of our love, and there was so far favoured by fortune
+as to find Lucinda.—We knew each other presently; though not as we ought
+to have known each other. But, who is he who can arrogate praise to
+himself, for having fathomed and discerned the capricious sentiments and
+sickly disposition of woman? Surely no man on earth.—But this apart.
+Lucinda perceiving me, “Cardenio,” said she, “I am now in my bridal
+dress, and this moment expected in the hall by the traitor Don Fernando,
+my covetous father, and some other people, who shall bear witness to my
+death sooner than to my marriage. Be not confounded, my friend, but
+endeavour to be present at the sacrifice, which, if I cannot prevent by
+my declaration, I wear a dagger concealed, which can obstruct a more
+vigorous determination; and, by putting an end to my life, begin to
+convince thee of the sincere passion I have always entertained, and
+shall retain for my Cardenio.” Afraid I should want time to answer her,
+I replied with great hurry and confusion, “Let your words be verified by
+your deeds, Madam. If you have a dagger to assert your love, I wear a
+sword to defend it; or, should fortune prove our foe, to rid myself of
+life.” I believe she did not hear all that I said, because she was
+called away in a hurry, to the bridegroom, who waited for her.’
+
+‘Thus deepened the night of my distress; thus set the sun of my
+happiness! I remained without light to my eyes, or reflection to my
+mind, for some time; I could neither resolve to enter her father’s
+house, nor remove to any other place; at length, however, considering of
+what consequence my presence might be, in case any thing extraordinary
+should happen, I recollected myself, as well as I could, and went in,
+without being perceived, as I was well acquainted with all the passages
+and corners of the house, and was favoured by the confusion which then
+prevailed in it on account of the nuptials. Thus entering, unseen, I
+found means to conceal myself in the hollow of a window in the hall,
+that was covered by the meeting of two pieces of tapestry, from behind
+which I could, without being perceived, observe every thing that
+happened.
+
+‘How shall I describe the throbbings and palpitations of my heart, the
+images that occurred to my fancy, the reflections that I made while I
+remained in that situation! they were such as I neither can nor ought to
+describe. Let it suffice to say, the bridegroom came into the hall,
+without any other ornaments than his usual dress, attended by a first
+cousin of Lucinda, in quality of bridesman, no other person being
+present, except some servants of the family. A little while after
+Lucinda came in from her closet, accompanied by her mother and two
+waiting-women; and as richly dressed and adorned as her rank and beauty
+deserved, or as the perfection of gaiety and gallantry could invent. The
+suspence and transport of my soul would not allow me to observe and mark
+the particulars of her dress; I could only take notice of the colours,
+which were carnation and white; and the blaze of jewels that adorned
+her, which was even excelled by the singular beauty of her golden locks,
+that struck the eye with more splendor than all the precious stones,
+together with the light of four torches that burned in the hall.—O
+memory! thou mortal enemy of my repose! to what purpose dost thou now
+represent to my fancy the unparalleled beauty of that adorable foe?
+Cruel remembrance! rather recal to my view the particulars of what then
+happened, that, incensed by such a manifest injury, I may take
+vengeance, if not upon her, at least upon my own life. But you,
+gentlemen, must be tired with these digressions; though my misfortune is
+such as neither can, nor ought to be superficially or succinctly
+related; because every circumstance, in my opinion, requires a full
+discussion.’ The curate answered, that far from being tired, they were
+very much entertained by those minute particulars, which he thought
+deserved as much attention as the principal events of the story.
+
+‘I say, then,’ resumed Cardenio, that the parties being assembled in the
+hall, the curate of the parish entered, and taking them both by the
+hands, in order to perform his function, he said, “Madam Lucinda, are
+you willing to take Don Fernando here present for your lawful spouse, as
+holy mother church ordains?” At this question, I thrust out my whole
+head and neck from behind the tapestry, and, with the utmost attention
+and disorder of soul, listened, to Lucinda’s answer, which I expected,
+as either the sentence of my death or confirmation of my life.—O that I
+had boldly advanced, and called aloud, “Ah Lucinda! Lucinda! take care
+what you do; reflect upon your duty to me, remember you are mine, and
+can never belong to any other husband. Consider, that my life must end
+the moment you answer yes.—Ha! treacherous Don Fernando! robber of my
+glory! death of my life! what are thy intentions! What wouldst thou
+have! remember that, as a Christian, thou canst not fulfil thy desires;
+for I am Lucinda’s husband, and she is my lawful wife!”—Fool that I am!
+now, when I am absent, and far removed from the danger, I can reflect
+upon what I ought to have done. Now that I am robbed of all that was
+dear to my soul! accursed be the robber, on whom I might have taken
+vengeance, had my heart supplied me with courage, as it now affords
+inclination to complain. In fine, as I then acted like a booby and a
+coward, it is but reasonable that I should now die of madness, sorrow,
+and shame. The priest waited for the reply of Lucinda, who declined it a
+good while; and when I expected she would either unsheath her dagger to
+vindicate her love, employ her tongue in the cause of truth, or utter
+some ingenious fraud that should tend to my advantage, I heard her
+pronounce with a weak and faultering voice, “Yes, I will.” Don Fernando
+repeated the same words, and the ring being put upon her finger, they
+were united in the indissoluble bond of marriage; then he embraced his
+new-married spouse, who, laying her hand on her heart, fainted away in
+the arms of her mother. It now remains to describe my own situation,
+when I heard and saw my hopes thus baffled by Lucinda’s breach of
+promise; and found myself rendered incapable of ever retrieving the
+happiness I had that instant lost. I remained without sense or
+reflection, abandoned, as I thought, by Heaven, and a declared enemy to
+that earth on which I lived. The air refused breath for my sighs, the
+water denied moisture for my tears, fire alone increased within me, to
+such a degree, that I was scorched with jealousy and rage! Lucinda’s
+swooning threw the whole company into confusion; and her mother opening
+her breast to give her air, found in it a folded paper, which Don
+Fernando taking, read by the light of one of the torches, and then sat
+down in a chair, and leaned one side of his head upon his hand, in a
+pensive attitude, without minding the remedies they were applying for
+the recovery of his spouse.
+
+‘I, seeing the whole family in confusion, ventured to come out, cost
+what it would; resolving, should I be seen, to do some desperate action
+that would convince the whole world of my just indignation, in
+chastising the false Don Fernando, and the fickle fainting traitress.
+But fate, that reserved me, if possible, for greater misfortunes,
+ordained that I should then abound in reflection, which hath since
+failed me; and resolve, rather than take vengeance upon my greatest
+enemies, who, as they had no suspicion of me, were then at my mercy, to
+turn upon myself that resentment which they so justly deferred to feel;
+and, perhaps, with more rigour than I should have exercised upon them,
+had I at that time sacrificed them to my rage, because sudden death is
+infinitely more easy than that which is lengthened out by lingering
+torments. In short, I quitted the house, and went to the place where I
+had left my mule, which being saddled, I mounted her, and without taking
+leave of my host, sallied out of town, dreading, like another Lot, to
+look behind me. When I found myself alone in the open field, shrouded by
+the darkness of the night, and invited by the silence to complain,
+without caution or fear of being overheard or known, I raised my voice,
+and gave a loose to my indignation, in venting curses upon Lucinda and
+Don Fernando, as if those vain exclamations could have atoned for the
+injury they had done me. I bestowed upon her the epithets of cruel,
+false, perfidious, and ungrateful; but, above all, avaricious; since the
+wealth of my rival had shut the eyes of her love, detached her from me,
+and swayed her inclination towards him to whom fortune had shewn herself
+more kind and liberal. Yet, in the midst of these reproaches and
+invectives, I could not help excusing her, observing, it was no wonder,
+that a damsel educated under restraint, in the house of her parents,
+bred up, and always accustomed to obey them, should comply with their
+will and pleasure, in marrying a young gentleman of such wealth, rank,
+and qualifications, that her refusal might have been thought to proceed
+either from want of sense, or a passion for some other man, which would
+have been a suspicion equally prejudicial to her virtue and reputation:
+then I argued on the other side of the question; saying, had she owned
+that I was her husband, her parents would have seen she had not
+committed an unpardonable crime in making such a choice; since, before
+the offer of Don Fernando, they themselves could not have desired, had
+their desires been bounded by reason, a better match than me for their
+daughter; and consequently, before she complied with that compulsive
+injunction of giving her hand to another, she might have told them, that
+she had already given it to me; in which case, I would have appeared and
+confirmed the truth of every thing she should have feigned for the
+occasion; in fine, I concluded, that superficial love, slender
+understanding, vast ambition, and thirst after grandeur, had obliterated
+in her memory those professions by which I had been deceived, cherished,
+and supported, in the unshaken hope of my honourable desires.
+
+‘In this exclamation and anxiety I travelled all night; and in the
+morning found myself in one of the passages to this mountain, in which I
+proceeded three days more, without high-road, or bye-path, till I
+stopped at a small meadow, that lies either on the right or left of
+these rocks; there I enquired of some goatherds whereabouts the most
+craggy part of the mountain was; and, according to their directions,
+thither I rode, resolving to put an end to my life. When I arrived among
+those ragged rocks, my mule fell down dead of weariness and hunger; or,
+as I rather believe, to disencumber herself of such a useless load as
+then burdened her; and I remained on foot, quite spent and famished,
+without having or desiring any support. In this situation, I know not
+how long I continued stretched upon the ground: but, at length, I got up
+without feeling any cravings or hunger, and found myself in the midst of
+some shepherds, who, doubtless, had relieved my necessity. Indeed, they
+told me in what condition I had been found, uttering such incoherent and
+extravagant expressions, as clearly demonstrated that I had lost my
+senses. Since that time, I have frequently perceived my intellects so
+crazy and unsound, that I perform a thousand mad actions, tearing my
+cloaths, bellowing through those unfrequented places, cursing my fate,
+and repeating in vain the beloved name of my fair enemy, without any
+connected sentences, or indeed any other intent than that of putting an
+end to my life by violent outcries; and when I recover the use of my
+senses, I find myself so weak and exhausted, that I scarce can move. My
+usual habitation is the hollow of a cork tree, large enough to contain
+this miserable carcase; the cow and goatherds who frequent these
+mountains, maintain me out of charity, by leaving food upon the road, or
+rocks, on which they think I may chance to find it; and, even while I am
+deprived of my understanding, natural instinct teaches me to distinguish
+this necessary nourishment, awakening my appetite and desire of seizing
+it for my use. They tell me, too, when they meet with me in one of my
+lucid intervals, that at other times I sally out by the highway, and
+take it by force from the shepherds, as they are bringing it from their
+cots, although they offer it of their own accord. In this manner I lead
+my woeful and wretched life, until Heaven shall be pleased to put a
+period to it, or give me grace to forget the beauty and falshood of
+Lucinda, together with the wrong I have suffered from Don Fernando. If
+this shall happen before I die, my intellects will return into their
+right channel; otherwise there is nothing to be done, but to supplicate
+Heaven to have mercy on my soul; for I find I have neither virtue nor
+strength to extricate myself out of this extremity into which I was
+voluntarily plunged.
+
+‘This, gentlemen, is the bitter story of my misfortune; tell me, if you
+think it could have been rehearsed with less concern than I have shewn;
+and pray give yourselves no trouble in offering to me such persuasions
+and advice, as your reason prompts you to think will do me service; for
+they can have no other effect upon me, than the prescription of a
+celebrated physician upon a patient who will not receive it. I will have
+no health without Lucinda; and since she who is, or ought to be mine,
+hath attached herself to another, I, who might have been the child of
+happiness, am now the willing votary of woe. She, by her inconstancy,
+wants to fix my perdition; and I welcome it, in order to gratify her
+desire, and be an example to posterity, of one who wanted that
+consolation, which almost all the wretched use! namely, the
+impossibility of receiving comfort; a consideration that increases my
+misery, which, I fear, will not end even with death.’
+
+Thus did Cardenio wind up the long thread of his amorous and unfortunate
+story; and just as the curate was about to give him his best advice and
+consolation, he was prevented by a voice that saluted his ears, and in
+mournful accents pronounced what will be rehearsed in the fourth book of
+this narration; for, in this place, the third is concluded by the sage
+and attentive historian Cid Hamet Benengeli.
+
+
+END OF THE FIRST VOLUME.
+
+Footnote 81:
+
+ Bamba, or Wamba, king of the Visigoths in Spain, mounted the throne in
+ the year 672, and was famous for his success against the Arabians, as
+ well as for his attachment to the Christian religion, as a proof of
+ which he retired into a monastery, and resigned the kingdom to Ervige.
+
+Footnote 82:
+
+ There is no such letter mentioned in his conversation with Don
+ Quixote.
+
+Footnote 83:
+
+ Who murdered Sancho I. king of Castile, while he was engaged in the
+ siege of Zamora.
+
+Footnote 84:
+
+ The original _pues presente pocas vezes lo bazía_, signifies, ‘Since
+ while I was present she did it very seldom.’ This at first sight
+ appears a solecism, and the petulant critick will exclaim, ‘What
+ occasion had she to write to her lover who was present, unless she had
+ lost the faculty of speech!’ But the seeming absurdity will vanish,
+ when we reflect that by _present_, he means, in the same city with his
+ mistress; to whom, however, according to the custom of Spain, he had
+ little or no access but by a literary correspondence.
+
+
+
+
+ VOLUME THE SECOND.
+ PART I.
+
+
+ BOOK IV.
+
+
+ CHAP. I.
+ OF THE NEW AND AGREEABLE ADVENTURE THAT HAPPENED TO THE CURATE AND
+ BARBER, IN THE BROWN MOUNTAIN.
+
+
+Thrice happy and fortunate was that age which produced the most
+audacious knight Don Quixote de la Mancha, in consequence of whose
+honourable resolution to restore and revive the lost, and, as it were,
+buried order of knight-errantry, we of these times, barren and
+unfruitful of sprightly amusements, enjoy the agreeable entertainment,
+not only of his own true and delightful adventures, but also the
+intervening episodes, which are no less real, artful, and delicious,
+than the main history itself, the twisted, reeled, and ravelled thread
+of which is continued thus!
+
+Just as the curate was ready to offer some consolation to Cardenio, he
+was prevented by a voice that saluted his ears in these mournful
+accents, ‘Would to God I could find a place to serve as a private tomb
+for this wearisome burden of life, which I bear so much against my
+inclination! this very spot will yield me what I ask, if I can trust the
+solitary appearance of these mountains. Alas! how much more agreeable is
+the company of these rocks and thickets, which give me opportunities of
+complaining to Heaven, than that of faithless man! since nature hath not
+created one of whom I could reasonably expect advice in difficulty,
+comfort in affliction, or remedy in distress!’
+
+This exclamation was distinctly overheard by the priest and his company,
+who, concluding that the person who spoke must be hard by, arose to make
+farther enquiry, and had not gone twenty paces, when behind the fragment
+of a rock they perceived a boy sitting under an ash-tree, in the habit
+of a peasant, whose face, as he stooped, in order to wash his feet in a
+brook that murmured by him, they could not then survey. Their approach
+they managed with softness and silence, while his whole attention was
+employed in bathing his legs, that seemed two crystal pillars, which had
+been produced among the pebbles in the rill. They were surprized at the
+whiteness and beauty of his feet, which they could not believe had been
+formed to tread the clods, and follow the cattle or plough, as his dress
+would have seemed to intimate; and the curate, who went foremost,
+finding himself still unperceived by the youth, made signs to the rest
+to crouch down, or hide themselves behind a neighbouring rock. This
+being done, all three stood gazing attentively at the apparition, which
+was clad in a double-skirted grey jacket, girt about the middle with a
+white napkin, and wore breeches and hose of the same cloth, with a grey
+hunting-cap upon his head; the hose being pulled up to the middle of his
+leg, which actually seemed of white alabaster. Having washed his
+delicate feet, he wiped them with a handkerchief which he took out of
+his cap, and in so doing, lifted up his head, shewing to the by-standers
+a face of such exquisite beauty, that Cardenio said in a whisper to the
+curate, ‘Since that is not Lucinda, it can be no earthly, but some
+celestial being!’ The youth taking off his cap, and shaking his head, a
+large quantity of hair, that Apollo himself might envy, flowed down upon
+his shoulders, and discovered to the spectators, that the supposed
+peasant was no other than a woman, the most delicate and handsome that
+the curate and barber had ever beheld; or even Cardenio, had he not seen
+and been acquainted with Lucinda, who alone, as he afterwards owned,
+could contend with her in beauty. Her golden locks fell down in such
+length and quantity, as not only covered her shoulders, but also
+concealed every other part of her body except her feet: and, instead of
+a comb, she made use of her hands, which, if her feet looked like
+crystal in the brook, appeared among her hair like moulds of drifted
+snow. All these circumstances increasing the desire of the by-standers
+to know who she was, they resolved to shew themselves, and at the stir
+they made in advancing, the beauteous phantom raised her head, and
+parting her locks with both hands, to see what occasioned the noise she
+heard, no sooner perceived them than the started up, and, without
+staying to put on her shoes, or tie up her hair, seized a bundle that
+lay by her, and betook herself to flight, full of consternation and
+surprize: but she had not run six yards, when her delicate feet, unable
+to bear the roughness of the stones, failed under her, and she fell to
+the ground. This accident being perceived by the other three, they ran
+to her assistance, and the curate approaching her first, ‘Stay, Madam,’
+said he, ‘whosoever you are; those whom you see have no other design
+than that of doing you service: therefore there is no necessity for your
+attempting such a precipitate flight, which neither your own feet nor
+our inclination will allow.’ To this address she made no reply, being
+quite astonished and confused; but the priest taking her by the hand,
+proceeded in this manner: ‘Madam, though your dress concealed, your hair
+hath discovered manifest signs, that it must be no slight cause which
+hath shrouded your beauty in such unworthy disguise, and brought you to
+this solitude, where it is our fortune to find you; and to offer, if not
+a certain remedy for your misfortune, at least our best advice; for no
+grievance can harass or drive the afflicted to such extremity, while
+life remains, as to make them shut their ears against that counsel which
+is given with the most humane and benevolent intention. Wherefore,
+Madam, or Sir, or what you please to be, recollect yourself from the
+confusion in which the sight of us hath thrown you, and tell us the
+particulars of your good or evil fortune, in full assurance of finding
+us all together, or each by himself, disposed to sympathize with your
+affliction.’
+
+While the curate pronounced these words, the disguised damsel stood
+wrapt in attention, gazing at them all round, without moving her lips,
+or uttering one syllable, like a country villager gaping at rarities
+which he had never seen before: but the priest enforcing what he had
+said, with other arguments to the same effect, she heaved a profound
+sigh, and broke silence, saying, ‘Since these solitary mountains have
+not been able to conceal me, and my loose dishevelled hair allows me not
+to disguise the truth, it would be in vain for me to feign such things
+as your reason could not believe, though your courtesy might excuse
+them. On that supposition, I thank you, gentlemen, for your humane
+offer, which lays me under the obligation of giving you all the
+satisfaction you desire; though I am afraid, that the relation I shall
+make of my misfortunes will, instead of compassion, excite your disgust,
+for you will find it impossible either to cure my woes, or teach me to
+bear them with fortitude; but, nevertheless, that my reputation may not
+suffer in your opinion, as you have discovered me to be a woman, and a
+young one, alone, and in this disguise; circumstances which, considered
+either together or apart, might prejudice my good name in this world; I
+will freely disclose to you those things, which, if possible, I would
+have willingly concealed.’
+
+All this preamble was uttered in a breath by the beautiful apparition,
+with such volubility of tongue, and sweetness of voice, that they
+admired her good sense as much as her beauty; and repeating their
+proffers of service, as well as their intreaties that she would perform
+her promise; she, without farther importunity, put on her shoes with
+great modesty, adjusted her hair, and sat down in the midst of her three
+hearers, upon a seat in the rock, where, after having endeavoured to
+repress a few tears that started in her eyes, she, with a clear and
+deliberate voice, began the story of her life in this manner.
+
+‘In this province of Andalusia, there is a place, from whence a certain
+duke, one of those who are called grandees of Spain, derives his title:
+he hath two sons, the eldest of whom is heir to his estate, and, in all
+appearance, to his good qualities; but the younger inherits nothing that
+I know, but the treachery of Vellido, and falshood of Galalon. To this
+nobleman my parents are vassals; and though low in pedigree, so
+considerable in wealth, that if their descent was equal to their
+fortune, they would have nothing more to desire, nor I the mortification
+of seeing myself in this distress; for, I believe, my misfortunes
+proceed from their defect in point of birth, which though not so mean as
+to make them ashamed of their origin, is not splendid enough to
+overthrow my conjecture about the source of my affliction: in short,
+they are farmers, of a plain honest family, without the least
+intermixture of Moorish blood; but, as the saying is, old, rusty
+Christians; aye, and so rusty, that by their riches and opulent way of
+living, they are gradually acquiring the title of gentlefolks, nay, of
+quality too; though what they prized above all riches and title, was
+their happiness in having me for their daughter; and therefore, as they
+had no other child to inherit their estate, and were naturally the most
+affectionate of parents, I was beloved and indulged by them with the
+utmost degree of parental fondness. I was the mirror in which they
+beheld themselves, the staff of their age, and shared with Heaven their
+whole attention and desires, with which, as they were pure and
+unblemished, my own perfectly corresponded; and therefore, I was
+mistress of their affection as well as their wealth. By my advice, they
+received and dismissed their servants; the tale and account of what was
+both sowed and reaped, passed through my hands; I managed the oil-mills,
+the vineyards, the herds and the flocks, the bee-hives, and every thing
+that such a rich farmer as my father may be supposed to possess: in
+short, I was steward and mistress; and acted with such care and œconomy,
+that I should not find it easy to exaggerate the pleasure and
+satisfaction which my parents enjoyed. Those parts of the day that
+remained, after I had given all due attention to the herdsmen,
+overseers, and other day-labourers, I employed in exercises equally
+decent and necessary for young women, such as lace-making, needle-work,
+and spinning; and if, at any time, I interrupted these employments, in
+order to recreate the mind, I entertained myself with some religious
+book, or diversified my amusement with the harp; being convinced by
+experience, that musick lulls the disordered thoughts, and elevates the
+dejected spirits. Such was the life I led in my father’s house; and if I
+have described it too minutely, it is not through ostentation, in order
+to display our riches, but with a view of manifesting how innocently I
+forfeited that happy situation, and incurred the misery of my present
+state. While I passed my time in these occupations, my retirement was
+such as almost equalled that of a nunnery, being seen by nobody, as I
+thought, but the servants of the family; for I went to mass early in the
+morning, accompanied by my mother and the maids, and veiled with such
+reserve, that my eyes scarce beheld the ground on which I trod; yet,
+nevertheless, I was perceived by those of love, or rather libertinism,
+which even exceeds the lynx in penetration, and then possessed the
+faculties of Don Fernando, younger son of the duke whom I have already
+mentioned.’
+
+She no sooner mentioned the name of Don Fernando, than Cardenio changed
+colour, and began to sweat with such agitation, that the curate and
+barber, perceiving it, were afraid he would be seized with one of those
+fits of distraction which, as they had heard, assaulted him from time to
+time; but, after some drops of sweat had burst out upon his skin, he
+remained quiet, and looking earnestly at the farmer’s fair daughter,
+immediately guessed who she was; while she, without observing the
+emotions of Cardenio, went on with her story, in these words: ‘And he no
+sooner beheld me, than, as he afterwards protested, he deeply felt the
+power of love, which indeed his behaviour clearly evinced; but, to
+shorten the account of my misfortune, which is lengthened beyond all
+comfort, I will pass over in silence the industrious schemes that Don
+Fernando planned, for opportunities of declaring his passion. He bribed
+every servant in the family, and even made presents and proffers of
+service to my relations: there was nothing but gaiety and rejoicing all
+day long in our street; and all night, it was impossible to sleep for
+serenades. The letters which, through an unknown channel, came to my
+hand, were without number, filled with the most amorous flights and
+professions, and vows and promises in every line; but all these efforts,
+far from soothing, hardened me against him, as much as if he had been my
+mortal foe; and all the stratagems he practised, in order to subdue my
+coyness, had a quite contrary effect: not that I was disgusted at the
+gallantry of Don Fernando, or enraged at his importunities, for I felt a
+certain kind of pleasure in being courted and beloved by such a noble
+cavalier; neither did I take umbrage at seeing myself praised in his
+letters; for it is my opinion, that all women, let them be never so
+homely, are pleased to hear themselves celebrated for beauty; but, to
+all these artifices, I opposed my own virtue, together with the repeated
+advices of my parents, who plainly perceived the passion of Don
+Fernando, because he himself took no care to conceal it from the world.
+They assured me, that in my virtue and prudence alone they confided and
+deposited their own honour and reputation: they bade me consider the
+inequality between Don Fernando and me, which was a convincing proof
+that his love, though he himself asserted the contrary, tended more to
+his gratification than my advantage; and said, if I could throw any
+obstruction in his way, to make him quit his unjust pretensions, I
+should be married immediately, according to my own choice, either to one
+of the principal persons of our own town, or to some gentleman in the
+neighbourhood, as I had abundance of lovers, attracted by their wealth,
+and my reputation. With these assurances, the truth of which I could not
+doubt, I fortified my integrity, and would never send any reply to Don
+Fernando, that could in the most distant manner flatter him with the
+hope of accomplishing his wish: but all my reserve, which he ought to
+have looked upon as the effect of disdain, served only to whet his
+libidinous appetite, which is the true name of the passion he professed;
+for, had it been genuine love, you would not now be listening to my
+story, which I should have had no occasion to recount.
+
+‘In fine, Don Fernando got notice that my parents intended to bestow me
+in marriage, that they might deprive him of all hope of possessing me,
+or, at least, provide me with more guards to protect my virtue; and this
+piece of news alarmed him so much, that he put in practice an expedient
+to retard the dreaded match. One night, while I sat in my apartment,
+attended by my maid only, the doors being all fast locked, that through
+negligence my virtue might not be in danger, without knowing or
+comprehending the means of his conveyance, he appeared before me, in the
+midst of this reserve, precaution, solitude, silence, and retreat! At
+sight of him, I was so much confounded, that the light forsook my eyes,
+and my tongue denied its office; so that being deprived of the power of
+utterance, I could not cry for help, neither, I believe, would he have
+suffered me to exclaim; for he instantly seized me in his arms, my
+confusion being such, that I had not strength to defend myself, and
+began to pour forth such protestations, that I cannot conceive how
+falshood is able to ape truth so exactly. The traitor’s tears gave
+credit to his words, and his sighs confirmed the honesty of his
+intention. I, being a poor young creature by myself, altogether
+unexperienced in those affairs, began, I know not how, to believe his
+false professions; but, not so as to be moved to weak compassion, either
+by his vows or artful sorrow; on the contrary, my first surprize being
+over, I recollected my dissipated spirits, and with more courage than I
+thought myself possessed of, said to him, “Signior, if, instead of being
+within your arms, as I now am, I was in the paws of a fierce lion, and
+my deliverance entirely depended upon my doing or saying any thing
+prejudicial to my virtue, it would be as impossible for me to comply
+with these terms, as it as impossible for that which is, to lose its
+existence; wherefore, though you keep my body confined within your arms,
+I am in full possession of my soul, with all her chaste desires, which
+are entirely opposite to yours, as you will plainly perceive, if you
+resolve to proceed in gratifying your wishes by force. I am your vassal,
+but not your slave; the nobility of your blood neither has, nor ought to
+have, the power of dishonouring or despising the lowliness of mine; and
+my character is as precious to me, though I am but a plebeian farmer’s
+daughter, as yours can be to you, who are a nobleman and cavalier. All
+your strength shall not effect your purpose, neither am I to be
+influenced by your riches, deceived by your words, or melted by your
+sighs and tears. Any of these expressions in a man, to whom my parents
+should give me in marriage, would gain my consent and reciprocal
+inclination; nay, if my honour were safe, I could sacrifice my
+satisfaction, and voluntarily yield what you, Signior, now attempt to
+obtain by force; this I observe, that you may rest assured, I will never
+grant any favour to him who is not my lawful spouse.”
+
+‘“If that be your sole objection, charming Dorothea,” (for that is the
+name of this wretched creature) said the perfidious cavalier, “behold I
+here present my hand, in pledge, of being yours for ever; and may
+Heaven, from which nothing is concealed, together with that image of the
+blessed Virgin, bear witness to the sincerity and truth of this
+declaration!”’ Cardenio, when she called herself Dorothea, was surprized
+anew, and confirmed in his first conjecture; but, unwilling to interrupt
+the story in which he expected to hear the issue of what he already
+knew, he only said, ‘Is your name Dorothea, Madam? I have heard of one
+of that name, to whose misfortunes yours bear a great resemblance: but
+pray proceed; the time will come when I shall tell you such things as
+will equally excite your terror and affliction.’ Dorothea, surprized at
+the discourse of Cardenio, as well as at his strange and ragged attire,
+intreated him, if he knew any thing of her affairs, to communicate it
+immediately; saying, that if fortune had left her any thing of value, it
+was the courage to endure any disaster that might befal her; though she
+was almost certain, that what she had already suffered could admit of no
+addition. ‘Madam,’ replied Cardenio, ‘I would not be the means of
+impairing that fortitude, by telling you what I know, if my conjecture
+be right; neither is there any opportunity lost, nor is it of any
+consequence to you, whether you hear it or not.’—‘Be that as it will,’
+answered Dorothea, ‘I will go on with the sequel of my story. Don
+Fernando, addressing himself to the image he found in my apartment,
+invoked the blessed Virgin to bear witness to our nuptials, and avowed
+himself my husband with the most binding and solemn oaths; though,
+before he proceeded so far, I desired him to reflect upon what he was
+going to do, and consider how much his father might be incensed at his
+conduct, when he should find him married to the daughter of his own
+farmer and vassal. I cautioned him against being blinded by my beauty,
+such as it was, telling him it would be far from being a sufficient
+excuse for his error; and begged, if he had any love and regard for me,
+he would manifest it, in leaving me to a fate more adequate to my rank
+and circumstances; observing, that such unequal matches were seldom
+blessed with a long duration of those raptures with which they begin.
+
+‘All these reflections I repeated to him, with many more which I do not
+remember; but they had no effect in diverting him from the prosecution
+of his purpose; for he was like a man, who, in making a bargain, never
+boggles at the price of the commodity, because he never intends to pay
+it. At the same time, I held a short conference with my own breast,
+saying within myself, “Neither shall I be the first, who, by marriage,
+has risen from a low station to rank, and grandeur; nor will Don
+Fernando be the first nobleman whom beauty, or rather blind affection,
+hath induced to share his greatness with a partner of unequal birth.
+Since, therefore, I neither make a new world nor a new custom, it is but
+reasonable in me to embrace this honour that fortune throws in my way;
+and although the affection he professes should not survive the
+accomplishment of his wish, I shall nevertheless, in the sight of God,
+remain his true and lawful wife. Besides, should I treat him with
+disdain, I see he is determined to transgress the bounds of duty, and
+avail himself of force; in which case, I shall be dishonoured and
+inexcusable in the opinion of those who do not know how innocently I
+have incurred their censure; for where shall I find arguments to
+persuade my parents, that this cavalier entered my apartment without my
+knowledge and consent?”
+
+‘All these reflections, which my imagination revolved in an instant,
+began to sway me towards that which (though I little thought so) proved
+my ruin; especially when aided and enforced by the oaths of Don
+Fernando, the powers he called to witness, the tears he shed, and, in
+short, by his genteel carriage and agreeable disposition accompanied by
+such marks of real passion, as might have melted any other heart as soft
+and unexperienced as mine. I called my maid to be a joint evidence with
+the powers of Heaven: Don Fernando repeated and confirmed his oaths;
+took other saints to witness his integrity; imprecated a thousand curses
+on his head, in case he should fail to fulfil his promise; had recourse
+to sighs and tears again, straining me still closer in his arms, from
+which he had never released me. By these means, and the departure of my
+maid, I forfeited that name, and he became a false and finished traitor.
+
+‘The morning that succeeded this night of my misfortune, did not arrive
+so soon, I believe, as Don Fernando could have wished; for, when once a
+man hath satisfied his rage of appetite, his chief inclination is to
+quit the scene of his success. This I observe, because Don Fernando
+seemed impatient to be gone; and, by the industry of my maid, who had
+conducted him to my chamber, found himself in the street before day:
+when he took his leave, he told me, though not with such violence of
+rapture as he expressed on his first coming, that I might depend upon
+his honour, and the sincerity of the oaths he had sworn; as a farther
+confirmation of which, he took a ring of value from his finger, and put
+it upon mine. In short, he vanished, leaving me in a situation which I
+can neither call joyful nor sad. This I know, that I remained in a state
+of confusion and perplexity, and, as it were, beside myself, on account
+of what had happened; but I either wanted courage or memory to quarrel
+with my maid for the perfidy she had been guilty of, in conducting Don
+Fernando to my apartment; indeed, I could not as yet determine, whether
+the adventure would redound to my advantage or misfortune. I told him,
+at parting, that now I was his wife, he might see me any night, by the
+same means he had used to procure the first interview, until he should
+think proper to make our marriage publick: but, except the following
+night, I could never set eyes on him, either in the street or at church,
+during a whole month, which I spent in the utmost anxiety of
+expectation; although I knew he was in town, and almost every day
+employed in the chace, an exercise to which he was greatly addicted.
+Those were doleful and distracting hours and days to me; for then I
+began to doubt, and afterwards to disbelieve the faith of Don Fernando;
+then was my maid exposed to those rebukes for her presumption, which she
+had never heard before; then was I obliged to husband my tears, and wear
+composure on my countenance, that I might not give occasion to my
+parents to ask the cause of my discontent, and be put to the trouble of
+inventing falshoods to deceive them. But all this constraint was
+banished by an event, the knowledge of which trod down all other
+respects, put an end to all my prudent measures, and by destroying my
+patience, published my misfortune to the world. This was no other than a
+report that soon after prevailed in our town, by which I learned that
+Don Fernando was married, in a neighbouring city, to a young lady of
+exceeding beauty, and distinguished birth, though her parents could not
+give her a portion suitable to such a noble alliance. I understood her
+name was Lucinda, and that several surprizing accidents had happened at
+their nuptials.’
+
+Cardenio hearing Lucinda’s name, though he said nothing, shrugged up his
+shoulders, bit his lips, contracted the skin of his forehead, and
+discharged from his eyes two fountains of tears; but, notwithstanding,
+Dorothea continued her story, saying, ‘This melancholy piece of news no
+sooner reached my ears, than, instead of freezing, it inflamed my heart
+with such rage and fury, that I had well-nigh run out into the streets,
+and published aloud the falshood and treachery he had practised upon me:
+but my rage was restrained for that time, by a plan which I conceived,
+and actually put in execution that very night. I dressed myself in this
+garb, which I received from one of the swains belonging to the house, to
+whom I disclosed my whole misfortune, intreating him to attend me to the
+city, where I understood my adversary was. After having disapproved of
+the attempt, and blamed my resolution, seeing me determined, he offered
+to keep me company, as he said, to the world’s end: that moment I packed
+up my woman’s dress in a pillow-case, together with some jewels and
+money, as a resource in time of need; and in the dead of that very
+night, without giving the least hint to my perfidious maid, left my
+father’s house, and accompanied by my servant, and a thousand strange
+imaginations, set out for that city on foot, winged with the desire of
+finding Don Fernando; and resolved, though I could not prevent what was
+already done, to demand with what confidence he had done it.
+
+‘In two days and an half I arrived at the city, and enquiring for the
+house of Lucinda’s parents, the first person to whom I put the question,
+told me more than I desired to hear. He directed me to the house, and
+related every incident which had happened at his daughter’s wedding; a
+story so publick, that it was the common town-talk. He said, that on the
+night of their nuptials, after she had pronounced the “Yes,” by which he
+became her husband, Lucinda was seized with a violent fit; that Don
+Fernando opening her breast to give her fresh air, found in it a paper
+written with her own hand, importing that she could not lawfully espouse
+Fernando, being already the wife of Cardenio, who, as the man told me,
+was one of the principal cavaliers of that town; and that she had now
+pronounced the fatal “Yes,” merely because she would not swerve from the
+obedience she owed to her parents; in short, he said, the contents of
+the paper plainly gave them to understand, that she intended to make
+away with herself, immediately after the ceremony, induced by the
+reasons which were there contained; and this resolution was confirmed by
+a poignard which they found concealed in some part of her dress. Don
+Fernando perceiving, by what happened, that Lucinda had baffled,
+scorned, and undervalued his addresses, ran to her before she had
+recovered the use of her senses, and with the poignard they had found,
+would have stabbed her to the heart, had he not been prevented by her
+parents and the rest of the company. It was, moreover, reported that Don
+Fernando immediately retired; and that Lucinda continued in a fit till
+next day. When she recovered from her swoon, she declared to her father
+and mother, that she was the true and lawful wife of that same Cardenio,
+who, it seems, was present at the ceremony; and who, when he saw her
+actually married, contrary to his former belief and firm expectation,
+quitted the city in despair, having first left a writing that declared
+the wrong she had done him, and signified his intention to banish
+himself for ever from the society of mankind. All this transaction was
+so notorious and publick in the city, as to furnish discourse for every
+body; and the subject was not diminished, when it was known that Lucinda
+was not to be found either in her father’s house, or in any other part
+of the town, which were searched all over by her parents, who had almost
+run distracted, not knowing what other method they should take to
+retrieve her. This information revived my hopes a little; for I was
+better pleased to have missed Don Fernando, than to have found him
+married to another; thinking, that every gate of comfort was not yet
+shut against me; and that Heaven, perhaps, had thrown that impediment in
+the way of his second marriage, with a view of making him reflect upon
+what he owed to the first; and reminding him of his being a Christian,
+consequently more interested in the care of his soul than in any other
+human concern. All these things I revolved in my imagination; and, as I
+had no real comfort, consoled myself with the most feeble and distant
+hope, in order to support a life which I now abhor.
+
+‘While I remained in this city, undetermined what course to take, as I
+could not find Don Fernando, I heard a publick crier describe my person
+and dress, and offer a considerable reward to any one that should
+discover where I was. Nay, it was said, that I had seduced from my
+father’s house, the young man who attended me; a circumstance that
+touched me to the very soul: finding my credit fallen so low, that they
+were not satisfied with publishing my escape, but must needs also
+mention my attendant, a creature so mean and unworthy of my attention
+and regard, as soon as I heard myself proclaimed, I quitted the town,
+accompanied by my servant, who already began to give marks of staggering
+in his promised faith and fidelity, and that night reached the most
+woody part of this mountain, urged by the fear of being discovered; but,
+as it is commonly observed, one mischance invites another, and the end
+of one misfortune is often the beginning of a worse, this was literally
+my case: my trusty servant, who had hitherto behaved with such zeal and
+fidelity, seeing me in this solitary place, and instigated by his own
+villainy rather than any beauty of mine, attempted to avail himself of
+the opportunity which he thought this desart offered; and with great
+impudence, contempt of Heaven, and disregard to me, began to talk of
+love; when, finding that I rejected his immodest proposals with just
+indignation and disdain, he laid aside intreaties for the use of those
+who might please to use them, and began to employ force for the
+accomplishment of his will; but, just Heaven, who seldom or never
+abandons the righteous intention, favoured and assisted mine so
+effectually, that with the little strength I have, and no great trouble,
+I pushed him over a precipice, unknowing whether or nor he survived the
+fall; then, as nimbly as my weariness and terror would allow, I
+penetrated farther into the mountain, without any other thought or
+intention, than that of keeping myself concealed from my father, and
+those whom he had employed to find me out.
+
+‘I know not how many months I have lived in this place, where I met with
+a grazier, who took me into his service, and carried me to his house,
+which stands in the very heart of the mountain. Him I served all this
+time, in quality of a cowherd, endeavouring to be always in the field,
+that I might the more easily conceal that hair which now so unexpectedly
+discovered my sex: yet, all my care and industry were vain; for, my
+master having found me out to be a woman, was seized with the same
+desire that took possession of my own servant. But fortune, with the
+evil, does not always send the remedy; for, I could neither find rock
+nor bog, by which I might have disabled my master, as I had before
+punished my man; and therefore, as the least inconvenience, I have left
+his house, and chosen to hide myself again among these thickets, rather
+than try my strength against him, in defence of my innocence. I say, I
+returned to these woods in hopes of finding a place in which I might,
+without impediment, implore Heaven with sighs and tears, to have
+compassion upon my misery, and give me industry and grace to overcome
+it, or quit my being in this solitude, without leaving behind me the
+least trace or remembrance of this forlorn wretch, who, without any
+fault of her own, hath afforded so much matter for conversation and
+censure both at home and abroad.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. II.
+ OF THE BEAUTIFUL DOROTHEA’S DISCRETION—WITH OTHER PLEASANT AND
+ ENTERTAINING PARTICULARS.
+
+
+‘This, gentlemen, is the genuine detail of my tragick story; consider,
+therefore, and judge whether or not I have sufficient cause to heave
+more sighs than I have vented, utter more complaints than you have
+heard, and shed more tears than have flowed from mine eyes; and when you
+shall have deliberated upon the quality of my misfortune, you will
+perceive how vain all consolation must be, as the disease admits of no
+remedy. I only ask what you easily can, and ought to grant, namely, that
+you would inform me where I can pass my life, without being harrassed by
+the surprize and fear of being found by those who are in search of me.
+For, though I am well assured, that my parents, out of their great love
+and affection, would receive me again into their favour, such is the
+shame and confusion I feel at the bare thought of their having altered
+their opinion to my prejudice, that I would rather conceal myself from
+their sight for ever, than appear in their presence under the suspicion
+of having acted contrary to the expectations they entertained from my
+virtue.’ So saying, she left off speaking, and her face was overspread
+with a blush that plainly denoted the sentiments and confusion of her
+soul. Those who had heard her story, were equally surprized and
+afflicted at her misfortune; to which the curate was going to offer some
+consolation and advice, when Cardenio took her by the hand, saying, ‘It
+seems, then, Madam, you are the beauteous Dorothea, only daughter of
+Cleonardo the rich!’ She was astonished to hear her father’s name
+pronounced by one of such a miserable appearance, (for we have already
+observed, how wretchedly Cardenio was cloathed) and said to him, ‘And
+who are you, brother, who know so well my father’s name; which, if I
+remember aright, I have not once mentioned in the whole course of my
+unfortunate story?’
+
+‘I am,’ replied Cardenio, ‘that unfortunate man, to whom, as you have
+observed, Lucinda said she was married. I am that miserable Cardenio,
+whom the villainy of him who reduced you to your present situation, hath
+brought to this deplorable condition in which you now see me, ragged,
+half-naked, destitute of all human comfort, and, which is still worse,
+deprived of my understanding, except at certain short intervals, that I
+enjoy by the permission of Heaven. I, Dorothea, am the person who was
+present at the perfidy of Don Fernando, and heard Lucinda pronounce the
+fatal “Yes,” by which she accepted him for a husband. I am he who wanted
+resolution to wait the issue of her swoon, or stay and see the result of
+that paper which was found in her bosom; for, my soul could not sustain
+the shock of such accumulated misfortune; and therefore, I quitted the
+house, already abandoned by my patience, and leaving a letter with my
+host, whom I charged to deliver it into Lucinda’s own hand, betook
+myself to these desarts, with an intention here to finish the life which
+from that instant I have abhorred as my most inveterate foe. But fate
+hath not been pleased to grant my wish, contenting itself with having
+deprived me of my judgment, with a view, perhaps, of reserving me for
+better fortune; which I begin to hope may proceed from this lucky
+meeting with you, since, if that which you have recounted be true, as I
+believe it is, there is a possibility that Heaven may have in store for
+us both, a more favourable termination of our disasters than we imagine;
+for, supposing that Lucinda, who is already my wife, as she hath openly
+declared, cannot be married to Don Fernando, nor he lawfully wed her,
+being already espoused to you, I think we have reason to hope, that
+Heaven will one day restore what mutually belongs to us; as it is
+neither alienated, ruined, nor irretrievable. And since this consolation
+still remains, sprung from hopes that are not very remote, and founded
+on expectations which are not the effects of a disordered imagination, I
+entreat you, Madam, in the purity of your sentiments, to change your
+present resolution, as I intend to alter mine, and accommodate yourself
+to the hopes of better fortune; for, I swear upon the faith of a
+gentleman and a Christian, that I will never abandon you, until I see
+you in the arms of Don Fernando, whom, if I cannot by reasonable
+arguments, bring to a true sense of his duty towards you, I will then
+use that privilege to which every gentleman is intitled, and in single
+combat demand satisfaction for the injury he has done you, without
+minding my own wrongs, which I will leave to the vengeance of Heaven,
+that I may the sooner revenge yours upon earth.’
+
+This speech of Cardenio put an end to the surprize of Dorothea, who
+being at a loss how to thank him for his kind and generous offer,
+stooped in order to kiss his feet, but this piece of condescension he
+would by no means allow. The priest answering for both, approved of
+Cardenio’s declaration; and, in a particular manner, intreated, advised,
+and persuaded them, to accompany him to the village where he lived, in
+order to provide themselves with what they wanted; and there consult
+some scheme either for finding Don Fernando, or for carrying Dorothea
+back to her parents, or, in short, for doing that which should seem most
+necessary and convenient. Cardenio and Dorothea thanked him for his
+courteous offer, which they immediately embraced; and the barber, who
+had been silent and attentive all this time, having joined the curate in
+his compliments and hearty proffers of service, briefly recounted the
+cause which had brought them thither; namely, the strange madness of Don
+Quixote; observing, that they were then waiting for the return of his
+squire, whom they had sent in quest of his master. Cardenio immediately,
+as if it had been the faint impression of a dream, recollected and
+related the quarrel which had happened between the knight and him,
+though he could not remember the cause of the dispute.
+
+At that instant they heard and recognized the voice of Sancho; who, not
+finding them in the place where he had left them, hallooed aloud; upon
+which they went to meet him, and enquiring about Don Quixote, were told
+by the squire, that he found him naked to the shirt, wan, meagre, half
+famished, and sighing for his mistress Dulcinea; that when he (Sancho)
+told him she had commanded him to quit that place, and go immediately to
+Toboso, where she waited with impatience to see him, he had answered,
+that he was determined never to appear before her, until he should have
+performed such atchievements as would render him worthy of her favour;
+and Sancho observed, that if this resolution should hold, it was
+possible he might never attain to the rank of an emperor, as he was in
+duty bound, nor even to that of an archbishop, which was the least he
+could expect. He desired them, therefore, to consider some means of
+disengaging the knight from his solitude. The priest bade him be under
+no concern, for they would fall upon a method to remove his master,
+whether he would or no.
+
+Then he explained to Cardenio and Dorothea, the plan they had laid to
+cure Don Quixote of his madness, or at least bring him back to his own
+house. This Dorothea no sooner understood, than she told him, that she
+was more proper than the barber for acting the part of the distressed
+damsel; especially, as she had cloaths along with her, that would answer
+the purpose; and bade them trust to her, for representing every part of
+the character which should be necessary towards the success of their
+design, for she had read a great many books of chivalry, and was
+perfectly well acquainted with the stile in which afflicted damsels were
+wont to beg boons of knights-errant. ‘If that be the case,’ said the
+curate, ‘let us not delay the execution of our scheme; for, without
+doubt, Heaven seems to favour my endeavours; not only in opening a door
+so unexpectedly, towards the cure of your misfortunes, but also in
+making you subservient in facilitating our success.’ Dorothea then
+pulled out of her pillow-case, a gown and petticoat of very rich stuff,
+with a beautiful green mantelet, and opening a little casket, took out a
+rich necklace and other jewels, with which she instantly dressed herself
+to such advantage that she appeared like a lady of the first rank and
+fortune. All these, and other ornaments, she said, she had carried off
+from her father’s house, in case of what might happen; though hitherto
+she had met with no opportunity of using them. Every one present was
+charmed with her graceful mien, easy deportment, and exceeding beauty;
+and passed sentence on Don Fernando, as a person of little taste and
+discernment, for having abandoned such excellence. But the admiration of
+Sancho was superior to that of all the rest; for he actually thought,
+and indeed it was true, that in all the days of his life, he had never
+seen such a beautiful creature; and, accordingly, asked the curate, with
+great eagerness, who that handsome lady was, and what she looked for in
+these bye places. ‘Friend Sancho,’ answered the curate, ‘that handsome
+lady, to say no more of her, is heiress, in the direct male line, of the
+kingdom of Micomicon[85], come hither to beg a boon of your master, that
+he would redress a wrong and grievance done to her by a discourteous
+giant; for such is the fame and reputation of that excellent knight, Don
+Quixote, through the whole extent of Guinea, as to induce this princess
+to come from thence in quest of him.’—‘Blessed quest!’ cried Sancho,
+‘and happy finding, say I! especially if my master should be so
+fortunate as to right the wrong, and redress the grievance, by killing
+that son of a whore of a giant that your worship mentions; and kill him
+he certainly will, if they should once meet, provided he be not a
+phantom; for you must know, my master has no power over phantoms. But
+one thing, among many others, I must beg of you, Mr. Licentiate, and
+that is, to put my master out of conceit of an archbishoprick, for I am
+afraid his inclination leans that way, and advise him to marry this
+princess out of hand, a match which will make it impossible for him to
+receive holy orders; and therefore he will the more easily arrive at the
+seat of empire, and I at the end of my wish. For I have carefully
+considered the affair, and by my reckoning, I shall not find my account
+in his being an archbishop, as I am altogether unfit for the church, by
+reason of my being married; and for me, who have a wife and children, to
+be petitioning for dispensations to hold livings, would be an endless
+task. Wherefore, Signior, the point is this: let my master immediately
+take to wife the same lady, whose name I do not know; for, indeed, I
+never saw her grace before this blessed minute.’—‘She is called the
+princess Micomicona,’ replied the curate, ‘because her kingdom being
+Micomicon, it is plain her name must be Micomicona.’—‘Yes, to be sure,’
+said Sancho, ‘I have known several people take a surname and addition
+from the place of their nativity, calling themselves, for example, Pedro
+d’Alcala, Juna de Ubeda, Diego de Valladolid; and I suppose they have
+the same custom in Guinea, where the queens take their names from the
+kingdoms they rule.’ The priest confirmed Sancho’s opinion, and promised
+to use his utmost influence to promote the marriage of the knight. With
+this assurance Sancho rested as much satisfied as the other was
+surprized at his simplicity, when he perceived how carefully he
+cherished, in his imagination, the same extravagant whims that possessed
+his master, who he firmly believed would one day become an emperor.
+
+By this time, Dorothea being mounted on the curate’s mule, and the
+barber’s face accommodated with the ox’s tail by way of beard, they
+desired Sancho to guide them to the place where Don Quixote was, and
+cautioned him against pretending to know the licentiate and his
+companion, assuring him that his master’s becoming an emperor entirely
+depended upon his professing ignorance of their persons. Yet neither the
+curate nor Cardenio would accompany them; because the presence of this
+last might recal to the knight’s memory the quarrel which had happened
+between them; and it was not yet proper that the priest should appear;
+for which reasons, they let the rest proceed by themselves, and they
+followed at a small distance, after the curate had given her cue to
+Dorothea; who desired him to make himself perfectly easy on her account,
+for she would act the part assigned to her, without the least occasion
+for a prompter, in the true stile and spirit of knight-errantry.
+
+Having travelled about three quarters of a league, they discovered Don
+Quixote already cloathed, though still unarmed, sitting in the midst of
+a labyrinth of rocks: and Dorothea no sooner understood it was he, in
+consequence of Sancho’s information, than she whipped up her palfrey,
+close attended by the well-bearded barber, who, when she approached the
+knight, threw himself from his mule, and ran to help his lady to alight.
+But she, dismounting with great agility, went and fell upon her knees
+before Don Quixote, whom, in spite of his repeated endeavours to raise
+her, she accosted in these words.
+
+‘Never will I rise from this posture, most valiant and invincible
+knight, until your benevolence and courtesy grant me a boon, which will
+not only redound to the honour and applause of your own person, but also
+to the advantage of the most injured and disconsolate damsel that ever
+the sun beheld; and if the valour of your mighty arm corresponds with
+the voice of your immortal fame, you are obliged to favour the
+unfortunate, who, attracted by the odour of your celebrated name, come
+from far distant regions, in quest of your assistance.’—‘Beauteous
+lady,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘I will not answer one word, nor hear one
+circumstance of your affairs, until you rise from the ground.’—‘I will
+not rise, Signior,’ answered the afflicted damsel, ‘until I shall have
+obtained from your condescension, the boon I beg.’—‘I condescend and
+grant it,’ resumed the knight, ‘provided, in so doing, I act neither to
+the detriment nor derogation of my king, my country, and her who holds
+my heart and liberty[86].’—‘Your compliance, worthy Signior,’ replied
+the mourning lady, ‘shall in no ways affect the exceptions you have
+made.’
+
+At that instant Sancho came up, and whispered softly in his master’s
+ear: ‘Your worship may safely grant the boon she asks, which is a mere
+trifle; no more than slaying a giantish sort of a fellow; and she who
+begs it, is the high and mighty princess Micomicona, queen of the great
+empire of Micomicon in Ethiopia.’—‘Whosoever she is,’ answered Don
+Quixote, ‘I will do what I am in duty bound to perform, and act
+according to the dictates of my own conscience, and conformable to the
+order I profess.’ Then turning to Dorothea, ‘Rise, most beautiful lady,’
+said he, ‘the boon you ask is granted.’—‘Then, what I ask is this,’
+resumed the damsel, ‘that your magnanimity would immediately accompany
+me to the place from whence I came, and promise to attempt no other
+adventure, nor grant any other request, until you shall have taken
+vengeance on a traitor who hath usurped my crown, contrary to all right,
+human and divine.’—‘I grant your request, Madam,’ answered Don Quixote;
+‘henceforth you may dispel that melancholy with which you are depressed,
+and let your fainting hope resume new strength and vigour; for, with the
+assistance of God, and this my arm, you shall, in a short time, see
+yourself restored to your kingdom, and seated on the throne of your
+royal ancestors, in defiance and despite of all those evil-designing
+persons who mean to oppose you: let us set hands to the work then; for,
+according to the common observation, Delay breeds danger.’
+
+The distressed damsel struggled with great perseverance, to kiss his
+hand;
+
+but Don Quixote, who was in all respects a well-bred knight, would by no
+means allow such humiliation: on the contrary, raising her up, he
+embraced her with great politeness and cordiality, ordering Sancho to
+secure Rozinante’s girths, and help him to arm with all expedition. The
+squire taking down the armour, which hung on a tree, in the manner of a
+trophy, and adjusting the horse’s girths, in a twinkling, equipped his
+master, who finding himself armed, ‘Now,’ said he, ‘let us go, in the
+name of God, to the assistance of this high-born lady.’ The barber, who
+was all this time on his knees, at infinite pains to preserve his
+gravity and his beard, the fall of which, perhaps, would have utterly
+ruined their laudable design, when he found the boon was granted, and
+saw with what eagerness the knight undertook to fulfil it, rose up, and
+with the assistance of Don Quixote, helped his lady upon her mule again;
+then her protector bestrode Rozinante, and he himself mounted his own
+beast, while Sancho Panza being left on foot, felt the loss of Dapple
+anew: but this he contentedly bore, believing that his master was now in
+the right road, and almost at the very point of being an emperor; for he
+assured himself, that the knight would wed that princess, and so become
+King of Micomicon at least; the only uneasiness he felt, was, on account
+of that kingdom’s being in the land of negroes, so that all his servants
+and vassals must be black; but, his imagination supplied him with a
+remedy for this inconvenience, and he said within himself, ‘Suppose my
+vassals are negroes, what else have I to do, but transport them to
+Spain, where I can sell them for ready-money, with which I may purchase
+some title or post that will maintain me at my ease all the days of my
+life? No, to be sure! sleep on, void of all invention or ability to
+dispose of your ware, and sell thirty, or ten thousand slaves in the
+turning of a straw! Before God! I’ll make them fly, little and big, or
+just as I may; and, blacks as they are, turn them all into whites and
+yellows! Let me alone to suck my own fingers.’ With these conceits he
+was so much engrossed, and so well satisfied, that he actually forgot
+the pain of travelling on foot.
+
+Cardenio and the curate saw every thing that passed, from behind some
+bushes where they were hid, and could fall upon no method of joining
+them conveniently, until the priest, who was an excellent schemer,
+thought of an expedient for the purpose; having a pair of scissars about
+him, he cut off the beard of Cardenio with infinite dispatch, and giving
+him a grey jacket, with his own black cloak, he himself remaining in his
+doublet and hose, the tattered cavalier was so much altered in point of
+appearance, that he would scarce have known himself had he looked in a
+glass. Although the others were jogging on, while they disguised
+themselves in this manner, they easily reached the highway, before the
+knight and his company, whose beasts were retarded by the bushes and
+rockiness of the ground; and taking their station just at the mouth of
+the entrance to the mountain, no sooner perceived the knight and his
+attendants come forth, than the curate looked earnestly at him a good
+while, as if he had been recollecting a person whom he knew, then ran to
+him with open arms, crying aloud, ‘Blessed be this meeting with the
+mirror of chivalry, my worthy compatriot Don Quixote de La Mancha, the
+flower and cream of gentility, the protector and physician of the
+distressed, and quintessence of knights-errant!’ So saying, he embraced
+the left-knee of Don Quixote; who being astonished at the words and
+action of the man, began to consider his features with great attention,
+and at length, recollecting him, was struck dumb with admiration, at
+seeing him in that place, and made many efforts to alight; which when
+the priest opposed, ‘Give me leave, Mr. Licentiate,’ said he, ‘it is not
+seemly that I should remain on horseback, when such a reverend person as
+you travels on foot.’—‘I will by no means,’ answered the curate,
+‘consent to your alighting; since, on horseback, your mighty arm hath
+atchieved the greatest exploits and adventures that this age hath seen;
+it shall suffice for me, who am but an unworthy priest, to get up, with
+permission, behind this gentleman who travels in your worship’s company;
+and then I shall imagine myself mounted upon Pegasus, a zebra, or that
+fiery courser that carried the famous Moor Muzaraque, who still lies
+inchanted in the vast mountain Zulema, at a little distance from the
+great Compluto.’—‘I did not think of that expedient, Mr. Licentiate,’
+resumed the knight; ‘but I know that my lady the princess will, out of
+regard to me, be pleased to order her squire to accommodate you with the
+saddle of his mule, and he himself may ride upon the crupper, if the
+beast will carry double.’—‘I believe she will,’ said the princess; ‘and
+I am sure, there will be no occasion to lay my commands upon my squire
+who is too courteous and polite, to suffer an ecclesiastick to travel on
+foot, when it is in his power to provide him with a beast.’—‘Your
+majesty is in the right,’ answered the barber; who instantly alighting,
+complimented the curate with the saddle, which was accepted without much
+intreaty.
+
+But the misfortune was, when the squire attempted to get up behind, the
+mule, which was an hireling, consequently mischievous, lifted up her
+hind legs, and kicked with such fury, that had they lighted on the head
+or breast of Mr. Nicholas, he would have had reason to curse the hour on
+which he set out in quest of Don Quixote: such, however, was his
+confusion, that he came to the ground, and his beard being neglected,
+fell off; so that he could find no other method to prevent a discovery,
+than to clap both hands to his face, with great expedition, and roar out
+that his teeth were demolished. Don Quixote, seeing that huge mass of
+beard torn from the jaw, without blood, and lying at a good distance
+from the squire’s face, ‘Good Heavens!’ cried he, ‘what a wonderful
+phænomenon is this! The beard is taken off and shaved as clean by the
+heel of the mule, as if it had been done by the hand of a barber.’ The
+curate, seeing the risk he ran of being detected in his scheme, snatched
+up the tail, and running with it to Mr. Nicholas, who still lay
+bellowing for help, pulled his head to his breast with one jerk, and
+clapping it on again, muttered some words, which he said were an
+infallible charm for fixing on beards, as they should presently see;
+accordingly, when the affair was adjusted, he quitted the squire, who
+now seemed as well bearded and as sound as ever; a circumstance that,
+above measure, surprized the knight, who begged that the curate, at a
+proper opportunity, would impart to him the charm, which he imagined
+must contain more virtues than that of cementing beards, because it was
+plain, that where the hair was torn off, the skin and flesh must be
+lacerated and hurt, and if the application could heal those wounded
+parts, it was good for something more than mere mustachios. The curate
+confirmed his conjecture, and promised to disclose the secret to him,
+with the first proper opportunity; then it was agreed, that the priest
+should mount the mule by himself, and, with the other two, ride her by
+turns, until they should arrive at the inn, which was about two leagues
+off.
+
+Don Quixote, the princess, and the curate, being thus mounted, and
+Cardenio, the barber, and Sancho Panza following on foot, the knight
+told the damsel, that her highness might conduct him whithersoever she
+pleased; but, before she could make any reply, the priest interposed,
+saying, ‘Towards what kingdom is your majesty journeying? I am much
+mistaken in my notions of kingdoms, if you are not bound for Micomicon?’
+She, who had been well instructed in her cue, concluding that the must
+answer in the affirmative, said, ‘Yes, Signior, that is the place of my
+destination.’—‘Then you must pass through our village,’ answered the
+curate, ‘and take your route to Carthagena, where your highness may
+happily embark; and if you meet with no hurricane, but be favoured with
+a fair wind and smooth sea, in something less than nine years, you may
+get sight of that vast Lake Meona, I mean, Meotis, which is a little
+more than one hundred days journey from your majesty’s kingdom.’—‘Your
+worship must be mistaken,’ said the princess, ‘for two years are not yet
+elapsed since I set out from thence; and though the weather has always
+been bad, I have already obtained what I so much longed after, namely,
+the sight of Signior Don Quixote de La Mancha, whose fame reached my
+ears as soon as I landed in Spain, and induced me to come in quest of
+him, that I might solicit his courtesy, and trust my righteous cause to
+the valour of his invincible arm.’—‘Enough, Madam,’ said Don Quixote;
+‘spare your encomiums; for I am an utter enemy to all sorts of
+adulation; and, although you are not to be suspected of flattery, my
+chaste ears are always offended at that kind of discourse. What I can
+safely affirm, is this; whether I have valour or not, here is he,
+valiant or pusillanimous, who will exert himself to the last drop of his
+blood in the service of your highness. But, this apart——Pray, Mr.
+Licentiate, what cause hath brought you hither alone, where I am really
+astonished to find you so ill attended, and so slightly cloathed?’
+
+‘In that particular you shall soon be satisfied,’ answered the curate:
+‘your worship must know that I and our friend Mr. Nicholas the barber,
+set out for Seville, to recover a sum of money, which was lent to me by
+a relation of mine that went to the Indies, a good many years ago; no
+less than sixty thousand pieces of eight in good silver, which make no
+inconsiderable sum: and yesterday, passing through this place, we were
+set upon by four highwaymen, who stripped us even to our very whiskers,
+and that in such a manner as obliged the barber to wear artificial ones;
+and you may see,’ pointing to Cardenio, ‘how they have despoiled the
+face of this young man who accompanied us; and the cream of the story
+is, that, according to the publick report, which prevails in this
+neighbourhood, those who robbed us were galley-slaves, that, almost in
+this very place, were set at liberty by a man so valiant, as to let them
+all loose, in spite of the commissary and his guards. Without all doubt
+he must have been deprived of his senses, or as great a villain as any
+of those he freed, or some person void of all conscience and feeling,
+who could thus turn loose the wolf among the lambs, the fox among the
+poultry, and the flies among the honey-pots; defrauding justice, and
+rebelling against his king and rightful sovereign, by acting contrary to
+his just commands, in depriving the gallies of their hands, and putting
+in confusion the holy brotherhood, which have continued so many years in
+undisturbed repose: in short, he hath done a deed that may tend to the
+perdition of his own soul as well as body.’
+
+Sancho had before recounted to them the adventure of the galley-slaves,
+which he had atchieved with so much glory; and therefore the curate
+urged it home, in order to observe the behaviour of Don Quixote, who
+changed colour at every word, without daring to own himself the
+deliverer of that worthy crew. ‘Those,’ added the priest, ‘were the
+persons who rifled us; and God of his infinite mercy forgive the man who
+prevented the punishment they so richly deserved!’
+
+Footnote 85:
+
+ As if he had said Ape-land, _mico_ signifying an ape.
+
+Footnote 86:
+
+ When a knight had once granted a boon in this manner, it was
+ impossible for him to retract, let the request be never so
+ extravagant. We are told by Joinville, that the queen of St. Lewis,
+ being big with child, and in the utmost terror of falling alive into
+ the hands of the infidels at Damietta in Egypt, fell upon her knees
+ before an old knight turned of fourscore, and conjured him to grant
+ her boon: the old man having promised to comply, on the faith of his
+ knighthood, she told him the favour she so pressingly solicited, was,
+ that he would cut off her head before she should fall into the hands
+ of the enemy, provided the Saracens should become masters of the town.
+ The senior answered without hesitation, that she might depend upon his
+ sword; and owned he had taken that resolution even before she
+ signified her request.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. III.
+ THE PLEASANT ARTIFICE PRACTISED TO EXTRICATE OUR ENAMOURED KNIGHT
+ FROM THE MOST RIGOROUS PENANCE HE HAD IMPOSED UPON HIMSELF.
+
+
+Scarce had the curate pronounced this apostrophe, when Sancho blundered
+out—‘Then, in good faith, Mr. Licentiate, he who performed this exploit,
+was no other than my master; not that I neglected to tell and advise him
+beforehand, to consider what he was about, and think what a sin it would
+be to let loose those who were going to the gallies for the most
+grievous enormities.’—‘You blockhead,’ cried Don Quixote, incensed, ‘it
+neither concerns, nor belongs to knights-errant, to examine whether the
+afflicted, the enslaved, and oppressed, whom they meet on the highway,
+are reduced, to these wretched circumstances by their crimes, or their
+misfortunes; our business is only to assist them in their distress,
+having an eye to their sufferings, and not to their demerits. I chanced
+to light upon a string of miserable and discontented objects, in behalf
+of whom I acted according to the dictates of my religion, without
+minding the consequence; and he who takes umbrage at what I have done,
+saving the sacred character and honourable person of Mr. Licentiate, is,
+I insist upon it, utterly ignorant of chivalry, and lyes like the
+base-born son of a whore; and this assertion I will make good with my
+sword, in the most ample manner.’ So saying, he fixed himself in the
+stirrups, and cocked his beaver; the barber’s bason, which he mistook
+for Mambrino’s helmet, hanging useless at the saddle-bow, until the
+damage it received from the galley-slaves could be repaired.
+
+Dorothea, who was equally prudent and witty, understanding that every
+body present, except Sancho, diverted themselves with the extravagant
+humour of Don Quixote, was willing to have her share of the
+entertainment; and accordingly, perceiving that his indignation was
+raised, ‘Sir knight,’ said she, ‘I hope your worship will remember your
+promise to me, by which you are restricted from engaging in any other
+adventure, howsoever pressing it may be. Subdue your resentment
+therefore, and be assured, that had Mr. Licentiate known the
+galley-slaves were set at liberty by that invincible arm, he would have
+taken three stitches in his mouth, and bit his tongue three times,
+rather than have uttered one word that should redound to the prejudice
+of your worship.’—‘That I swear I would have done,’ said the curate;
+‘aye, and have plucked off one of my whiskers to boot.’—‘Madam,’
+answered the knight, ‘I am silent. I will restrain the just indignation
+which begins to rise within me, and proceed in the utmost peace and
+quiet, until I shall have fulfilled the boon I promised to your
+highness; but, in recompence for this my kind intention, I beseech you,
+if it be not too much trouble, to make me acquainted with the nature of
+your misfortune; and tell me the number, quality, and condition of those
+persons on whom I am to take just satisfaction and full vengeance, in
+your behalf.’—‘With all my heart,’ answered Dorothea; ‘though I am
+afraid of tiring you with a recital of woes and misfortunes.’ The knight
+assured her that would be impossible; and she resumed, ‘Well then, be so
+good as to favour me with your attention.’
+
+At these words, Cardenio and the barber went up close to her, in order
+to hear what story she, in her discretion, would invent; and Sancho
+Panza, who was as much deceived as his master, followed their example.
+After she had seated herself firmly in the saddle, cleared her pipes
+with a hem or two, and made other preliminary gestures, she with great
+sprightliness thus began:
+
+‘In the first place, gentlemen, you must know that my name is ——’ Here
+she made a full stop, having forgot how the curate had christened her:
+but this defect was soon remedied; for, immediately conceiving the cause
+of her hesitation, he said, ‘It is no wonder, Madam, that your highness
+is disturbed and disordered at the recollection of your misfortunes,
+which are often so great, as to impair the memory to such a degree, that
+the afflicted cannot even remember their own names: this effect they
+have had upon you, Madam, who have forgot that you are the Princess
+Micomicona, legitimate heiress of the great kingdom of Micomicon. With
+the assistance of this hint, your highness will easily recal the whole
+thread of your story to your sorrowful remembrance.’—‘You are in the
+right,’ replied the damsel; ‘and I believe I shall be able to bring my
+true narrative to a happy conclusion without farther prompting.
+
+‘The king, my father, whose name was Tinacrio the sage, foresaw, by his
+profound skill in magick, that my mother, who was called Queen
+Zaramilla, would die before him; and that, as he himself must quit this
+life soon after, I should be left an helpless orphan; but this
+consideration, he said, did not give him so much pain and confusion, as
+the certain foreknowledge that a monstrous giant, lord of a great island
+that bordered on our kingdom, called Pandafilando of the Gloomy Aspect:
+(for, it is affirmed, that although his eyes are, like any other
+person’s, placed in the middle of his face, he always looks askance, as
+if he squinted; and this obliquity the malicious tyrant practises, in
+order to surprize and intimidate those who behold him;) I say, my father
+foresaw by his art, that this giant, informed of my being an orphan,
+would invade me with a great army, and deprive me of my whole kingdom,
+without leaving so much as a village for my retreat; and that nothing
+could prevent this my ruin and misfortune, unless I would consent to
+marry him; though, so far as he could learn, it would never come into my
+thoughts to make such an unequal match; and truly his conjecture was
+well founded; for, it never entered into my head, to wed this giant, or
+any other person, howsoever tall and unmeasurable he might be. My
+father, therefore, advised me, that when, after his death, I should get
+notice that Pandafilando was beginning to invade my kingdom, I should
+not stay to put myself in a posture of defence, which would prove my
+destruction, but freely leave him the possession of my realms, if I was
+resolved to avoid my own death, and to prevent the total destruction of
+my good and faithful subjects; for it would be impossible to defend
+myself against the infernal force of the giant: but, that I should
+immediately set out for Spain, where I would find a remedy for all my
+misfortunes, in the person of a certain knight-errant, whose fame would
+be at that time spread over the whole kingdom, and whose name, if I
+right remember, would be Don Hackfot, or Kickfot.’—‘Don Quixote your
+ladyship would say,’ cried Sancho, interposing, ‘alias the Knight of the
+Rueful Countenance.’—‘The very same,’ replied Dorothea: ‘he told me,
+moreover, that this knight would be a tall man, with a long meagre
+visage, and have on his right-side, below his left-shoulder, or
+thereabouts, a grey mole garnished with hairs, which bear some
+resemblance to a hog’s bristles.’
+
+Don Quixote hearing this circumstance, said to his squire, ‘Come hither,
+son Sancho, and help me to strip; for I want to see if I am actually the
+knight of whom that sage king foretold.’—‘Why should your worship
+strip?’ said Dorothea. ‘In order to satisfy myself about that mole which
+your royal father mentioned.’—‘You need not give yourself the trouble,’
+said Sancho; ‘I know your worship hath just such a mole on the middle of
+your back-bone, which is a sign of strength.’—‘That assurance is
+sufficient,’ resumed Dorothea, ‘for, among friends, we ought not to
+stand upon trifles; and it is of very little consequence whether the
+mole be upon the shoulder or the back bone; provided there is really
+such a mark on any part of your body, which is all composed of the same
+flesh. Without doubt my worthy father was right in every thing he
+prognosticated; and I have exactly followed his directions, in
+recommending my cause to the protection of Signior Don Quixote, who is
+certainly the individual knight my father described; since his features
+correspond with his fame, which fills not only Spain, but likewise the
+whole province of La Mancha[87]; for scarce had I landed at Ossuna, than
+hearing of his vast exploits, my mind suggested that he must be the very
+person I came in quest of.’—‘How could your highness,’ said Don Quixote,
+‘land at Ossuna, which is not a sea-port?’
+
+Before she had time to make a reply, the curate took the task upon
+himself, saying, ‘The princess must mean, that after she landed at
+Malaga, Ossuna was the first place in which she heard of your
+worship.’—‘That was my meaning,’ said Dorothea. ‘There is nothing more
+plain,’ answered the priest; ‘and now your majesty may proceed.’—‘I have
+nothing more to say,’ resumed the princess, ‘but that, at length,
+destiny has been so favourable to me, in my finding Don Quixote, I
+reckon and look upon myself as queen again, and mistress of my whole
+realms, since out of his great courtesy and magnificence, he hath
+promised, in consequence of the boon I asked, to go with me
+whithersoever I shall conduct him; and my intention is no other than to
+bring him face to face with Pandafilando of the Gloomy Aspect, that he
+may, by putting him to death, restore me to the possession of that which
+he so unjustly usurps; and all this will literally happen, as it was
+prophesied by my worthy father Tinacrio the Sage, who hath also left it
+written in Chaldean or Greek characters, for I cannot read them, that if
+the knight mentioned in the prophecy should, after having cut off the
+giant’s head, demand me in marriage, I must instantly accept of him as
+my lawful husband, without the least hesitation, and give him immediate
+possession of my person and throne.’
+
+Don Quixote hearing this circumstance, cried, ‘What do you think now,
+friend Sancho? do you hear what passes? and did not I tell thee as much?
+Observe now, whether or not we have not a queen to marry, and a kingdom
+to govern.’—‘Adzookers, it is even so!’ cried the squire; ‘and plague
+upon the son of a whore who refuses to marry her, as soon as Mr.
+Pandahiladoe’s weazond is cut; then, what a delicate morsel the queen
+is! odd, I wish all the fleas in my bed were such as she!’ So saying, he
+cut a brace of capers, with marks of infinite satisfaction; then running
+up, and taking hold of the bridle of Dorothea’s mule, made her halt,
+while he, falling down on his knees before her, besought the princess to
+let him kiss her hand, in token of his receiving her as his queen and
+mistress. Which of the company could behold the madness of the master,
+and the simplicity of the man, without laughing! Dorothea actually gave
+him her hand, and promised to make him a grandee, as soon as, by the
+favour of Heaven, she should be restored to the possession of her
+kingdom; and he thanked her in terms which redoubled the mirth of all
+present.
+
+‘This, gentlemen,’ added the damsel, ‘is my story, and nothing now
+remains but to tell you, that of all the people who attended me when I
+left my own country, not one survives, except this well-bearded squire;
+all the rest having perished in a dreadful storm that overtook us after
+we were within sight of land: he and I miraculously floated to the shore
+on two planks; and indeed the whole course of my life, as you may have
+observed in my narration, hath been full of mystery and wonder. If I
+have in any thing exceeded the bounds of credibility, or been less
+accurate than I ought, I hope you will impute it to that cause assigned
+by the licentiate, in the beginning of my story; namely, the continual
+and extraordinary affliction, that often impairs the memory of the
+unfortunate.’—‘But, mine shall not be impaired, most high and virtuous
+lady!’ said Don Quixote, ‘by all the misfortunes I shall undergo in your
+service, let them be never so great and unprecedented: therefore I again
+confirm the boon I have promised, and swear to attend you even to the
+world’s end, until I get sight of that ferocious adversary of yours,
+whose proud head I hope to slice off, with the assistance of God, my own
+arm, and the edge of this (I will not say good) sword; thanks to Gines
+de Passamonte who run away with my own[88].’ This last apostrophe he
+muttered between his teeth, and then proceeded aloud, saying—‘and after
+I shall have deprived him of his head, and put you in peaceable
+possession of your throne, you shall be at free liberty to dispose of
+your person, according to your own will and pleasure; for, while my
+memory is engrossed, my will enslaved, and my understanding subjected to
+her who——I say no more; but, that it is impossible I should incline, or
+have the least thought towards marrying any other person, though she
+were a perfect phœnix.’
+
+Sancho was so much disgusted at this last declaration of his master,
+refusing the marriage, that raising his voice, he cried with great
+indignation, ‘Signior Don Quixote, I vow and swear your worship is
+crazy, else you would never boggle at marrying such a high-born princess
+as this! Do you imagine that fortune will offer such good luck at every
+turn, as she now presents? or pray, do you think my Lady Dulcinea more
+handsome than the princess? I am sure she is not half so beautiful, and
+will even venture to say, that she is not worthy to tie her majesty’s
+shoe-strings. How the plague shall I ever obtain the earldom I expect,
+if your worship goes thus a-fishing for mushrooms at sea? Marry her,
+marry her, in the devil’s name, without much ado; lay hold on this
+kingdom that drops, as it were, into your hand; and, after your
+coronation, make me a marquis or lord-lieutenant, and then the devil, if
+he will, may run away with the rest.’
+
+Don Quixote was enraged, when he heard such blasphemies uttered against
+his mistress Dulcinea, and lifting up his lance, without speaking a
+syllable, or giving the least notice of his intention, discharged two
+such hearty blows upon the squire, as brought him instantly to the
+ground; and had not Dorothea called aloud, and begged of him to forbear,
+would certainly have murdered poor Sancho on the spot. ‘Do you think,’
+said he, after some pause, ‘you plebeian scoundrel, that I will always
+stand with my hands in my pockets; and that there is nothing to be done,
+but for you to misbehave, and for me to forgive you? I’ll teach you
+better manners, you excommunicated rascal; for such to be sure you are,
+else you would not wag your tongue against the peerless Dulcinea. Don’t
+you know, you grovelling beggarly villain, that were it not for the
+valour with which she inspires this arm, I should not have enough to
+kill a flea? Tell me, you viperish scoffer, what you think hath won this
+kingdom, cut off the giant’s head, and made you a marquis, for all this
+I look upon as already done and determined? Is it not the valour of
+Dulcinea that makes use of my arm as the instrument of her exploits? In
+me she fights and overcomes; in her I live, breathe, and have my being.
+O thou whoreson, ungrateful ruffian, who seest thyself raised from the
+dust of the earth to the rank of nobility, and repayest the obligation
+by slandering thy benefactress.’
+
+Sancho was not so roughly handled but he heard every syllable that his
+master spoke; and, starting up as nimbly as he could, ran behind
+Dorothea’s palfrey, from whence he said to the knight, ‘Pray, Sir, if
+your worship is determined against marrying this great princess, is it
+not plain, that the kingdom cannot be yours; and if that be the case,
+what favours can you bestow upon me? This is what I complain of. I would
+your worship would, once for all, marry this queen, who is, as it were,
+rained down from Heaven upon us; and then you may converse with my Lady
+Dulcinea, according to the custom of some kings who keep concubines. As
+to the affair of beauty, I will not intermeddle; but, if the truth may
+be told, I like them both very well, though I never saw my Lady Dulcinea
+in my life.’—‘How! not seen her, blasphemous traitor!’ cried Don
+Quixote; ‘have you not just brought a message from her?’—‘I say,’
+answered Sancho, ‘that when I saw her, I had not an opportunity of
+examining the particulars of her beauty and good qualities one by one;
+but all together she pleased me very much.’—‘Now, Sancho,’ said Don
+Quixote, ‘I exculpate thee, and thou must forgive what I did in my
+wrath; for no man can command the first emotions of his passion.’—‘That
+I can plainly perceive,’ answered the squire, ‘and therefore, the desire
+of speaking is always the first motion in me; and truly, when once my
+tongue begins to itch, I cannot for my blood keep it within my
+teeth.’—‘For all that, friend Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘I would have
+you consider before you speak; for, though the pitcher goes often to the
+well—I need not mention what follows.’—‘In good time,’ replied the
+squire, ‘there is a God above, who sees the snare, and will judge which
+of us is the more to blame; I in speaking, or your worship in doing
+evil.’—‘Let there be no more of this, Sancho,’ said Dorothea, ‘but run
+and kiss your master’s hand, and beg his pardon; and henceforth set a
+better guard upon your praise and disparagement; above all things,
+beware of saying any thing to the prejudice of that Lady Toboso, whom I
+know by nothing else than my inclination to serve her: and if you put
+your trust in God, you will not fail of acquiring some estate, by which
+you will live like a prince.’
+
+Sancho took her advice, and, hanging his head, went to beg a kiss of his
+master’s hand, which was granted with great solemnity of deportment;
+nay, the knight gave him his blessing also, desiring he would attend him
+while he rode on a little before the rest of the company, that he might
+have a better opportunity of asking a few questions, and conversing with
+him about affairs of the utmost importance. Sancho obeyed the order; and
+the two having advanced a good way before the rest, ‘Since thy return,’
+said Don Quixote, ‘I have had neither time nor convenience, to enquire
+about many particular circumstances of thy embassy, with the answer thou
+hast brought: and now that fortune favours us with a fit opportunity,
+thou must not deny me the pleasure I shall receive from thy agreeable
+information.’—‘Your worship,’ answered the squire, ‘may ask as many
+questions as you please: I shall make every thing come out as clear as
+it went in; but I intreat your worship, dear Sir, not to be so
+revengeful for the future.’—‘Why dost thou call me revengeful?’ said the
+knight. ‘Because,’ resumed the squire, ‘those blows I was just now
+honoured with, were more owing to the quarrel the devil picked between
+us, t’other night, than to any thing I said against my Lady Dulcinea,
+whom I love and reverence as a relick, though she be not one, merely,
+because she appertains to your worship.’—‘No more of these reflections,
+on thy life,’ said Don Quixote; ‘else thou wilt give me fresh umbrage: I
+freely forgave thee at that time, and thou knowest, that, according to
+the common observation, Every new fault deserves a new penance.’
+
+While this conversation passed between them, they perceived a man riding
+towards them on an ass; and, when he came a little nearer, discerned him
+to be a gypsie; but Sancho Panza, who sent his soul abroad with his
+eyes, to examine every ass that appeared, no sooner beheld the rider,
+than he recognized Gines de Passamonte, and by the thread of the gypsie
+discovered the clue of his own ass; for it was actually Dapple that
+carried Passamonte, who, for the better convenience of selling the
+beast, had disguised himself in the dress of a gypsie, whose language,
+with many others, he could speak as fluently as his mother-tongue.
+Sancho saw and recollected him, and no sooner had he seen and
+recollected him, than he bellowed forth, ‘Ah, villain, Ginesillo!
+restore my goods! give me back the comfort of my life! rob me not of my
+heart’s content! give me my ass! give me my darling! Fly, thief! skip,
+robber; and seek not to preserve that which is none of thy own.’
+
+There was no need of all this exclamation and reproach; for Gines leaped
+off at the first word, and at a pretty round trot, which might have
+passed for a gallop, made the best of his way, and vanished in a
+twinkling. Sancho running to his ass, embraced it with great affection,
+saying, ‘How hast thou been, my dear Dapple? my trusty companion and joy
+of my eyes!’ Then kissed and caressed it as if it had been a Christian;
+while Dapple very peaceably received these demonstrations of love and
+kindness, without answering one word. The whole company wished him joy
+of his recovery; particularly Don Quixote, who assured him, that
+although he had retrieved Dapple, the promise of the three colts should
+not be annulled; and Sancho thanked him for his generosity.
+
+While the master and man were conversing by themselves, the curate told
+Dorothea, that she had behaved with great discretion in her story, both
+with regard to the matter and brevity of it, as well as the resemblance
+it bore to those legends that are found in books of chivalry. She
+observed that she had employed a good part of her leisure time in
+reading such romances; but, being ignorant of the situation of different
+provinces and sea-ports, she had spoke at random, when she mentioned her
+landing at Ossuna.’—‘I thought so,’ resumed the priest, ‘and made all
+haste to adjust matters by what I said; but, is it not very strange, to
+see with what facility this poor unfortunate gentleman swallows all
+those lyes and fictions, merely, because they are delivered in the stile
+and manner of his nonsensical books?’—‘So very strange and singular,’
+said Cardenio, ‘that I question if there be any genius whatever, so
+fertile as to frame such a character by the mere force of
+invention.’—‘And what is a very remarkable circumstance,’ replied the
+curate, ‘waving those extravagancies which this worthy gentleman utters
+upon the subject of his disorder, he can discourse upon other topicks
+with surprizing ability, and appears to be a man of great knowledge and
+intellects; so that, if you do not touch upon chivalry, his hearers must
+look upon him as a person of excellent understanding.’
+
+While they were engaged in this conversation, Don Quixote proceeded in
+his with Sancho; to whom he said, ‘Come, friend Panza, let us forget
+what is past, with regard to animosity, and tell me, without any
+ingredient of rancour and resentment, where and how you found Dulcinea?
+What was she doing? What did she say? What answer did she make? How did
+she look when she read my letter? Who transcribed it for her perusal?
+These particulars, and every other circumstance of the affair, which you
+think worthy to be known, asked, and answered, I expect you will
+explain, without seeking to increase my pleasure with false additions,
+much less to diminish it by malicious omission.’—‘Signior,’ said Sancho,
+‘if the truth must be told, nobody transcribed the letter; because I had
+no letter to be transcribed.’—‘That is very true,’ replied the knight;
+‘for, two days after thy departure, I found the pocket-book in which it
+was written; a circumstance that gave me infinite pain, as I could not
+conceive what thou wouldst do when the mistake should appear; indeed I
+always imagined thou wouldst have returned hither immediately upon the
+discovery.’—‘That would certainly have been the case,’ said the squire,
+‘if, when your worship read it to me, I had not retained it in my
+memory, so perfect as to be able to dictate it to a parish clerk, who,
+as I repeated, transcribed it so exactly, that he said, in all the days
+of his life, though he had read many letters of excommunication, he had
+never seen such a clever letter as yours.’—‘And dost thou still retain
+it?’ said Don Quixote. ‘No, Sir’ replied Sancho, ‘For, after I had put
+it into her hand, I thought there was no farther occasion to retain it,
+and therefore let it slip out of my remembrance; or, if any part
+remains, it is that of the subterrene, I mean sovereign lady, and the
+conclusion Yours till death, the Knight of the Rueful Countenance; with
+about three hundred souls, and lives, and pigsnies, which I set down in
+the middle.’
+
+Footnote 87:
+
+ This is a diverting example of the Bathos, not unlike that anticlimax
+ repeated in the art of sinking.
+
+ Nor Alps, nor Apennines could keep us out,
+ Nor fortified redoubt!
+
+Footnote 88:
+
+ If the knight was robbed of his own sword by Gines, where did he find
+ that which he wore on this occasion?
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IV.
+ THE SAVOURY CONVERSATION
+ THAT PASSED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE AND HIS SQUIRE SANCHO PANZA,
+ WITH MANY OTHER INCIDENTS.
+
+
+‘All this is pretty well; proceed!’ said Don Quixote: ‘how was that
+queen of beauty employed, when you arrived? I dare say, you found her
+stringing pearls, or embroidering some device for this her captive
+knight, with threads of gold.’—‘No, truly,’ answered the squire; ‘I
+found her winnowing two bushels of wheat in the yard.’—‘Then you may
+depend upon it,’ resumed the knight, ‘the grains of that wheat were
+converted into pearls by the touch of her hand; and didst thou observe,
+my friend, whether it was of the finer or common sort?’—‘Why, neither!’
+said Sancho; ‘it seemed to be, as it were, red wheat.’—‘But, since it
+was winnowed by her fair hands,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘I dare affirm,
+it will make the whitest bread in Spain. Go on with thy information.
+When the letter was delivered, did she not kiss it, and place it on the
+crown of her head, in token of respect? Did she not perform some
+ceremony worthy of such a letter? Pray, how did she receive it?’—‘When I
+presented the letter,’ answered Sancho, ‘she was in a main hurry,
+winnowing a large heap of wheat that was in her sieve; and said to me,
+“Friend, lay down the letter on that sack; for I cannot pretend to read
+it, until I have made an end of my work.”’—‘Discreet lady!’ cried the
+knight; ‘her intention certainly was to read it at her leisure, that she
+might recreate herself with the contents. Proceed, Sancho; and while she
+was thus employed, what conversation passed between you? what questions
+did she ask concerning me? and what answers didst thou make? Recount the
+whole, without leaving one syllable untold.’
+
+‘She asked me no questions,’ replied the squire; ‘but I told her, how I
+had left your worship doing penance for love of her, skipping among
+those rocks, naked from the waist upwards, like a mere savage, sleeping
+on the bare ground; neglecting to eat your food like a Christian, or to
+comb your beard like a decent man; but whining, and weeping, and cursing
+your fortune.’—‘If you said I cursed my fortune, you misrepresented me,’
+said Don Quixote; ‘for I bless my fate, and will bless it all the days
+of my life, for having made me worthy to aspire to the love of such an
+high lady as Dulcinea del Toboso.’—‘High indeed!’ answered Sancho, ‘for,
+in faith, she is a good hand taller than I am.’—‘How hast thou been
+measured with her, Sancho?’ said the knight. ‘I’ll tell you how,’
+answered the squire; ‘while I was helping to lay a load of corn upon an
+ass, we came so close together, that I could easily perceive she
+over-topped me by a full hand.’—‘That may be true,’ said Don Quixote;
+‘though her tallness is accompanied and adorned by a myriad of mental
+graces. But this you will not deny, Sancho, that while you was so near
+her, your nostrils were regaled by a Sabæan odour, an aromatick
+fragrance, a certain delicious sensation, for which there is no name. I
+mean, a scent, a perfume, such as fills the shop of some curious
+glover.’—‘All that I can say,’ answered Sancho, ‘is, that I was sensible
+of a sort of rammish smell, which I believe was owing to her being in a
+muck sweat with hard work.’—‘That is impossible,’ cried the knight; ‘thy
+sense must have been depraved, or that smell must have proceeded from
+thy own body; for I am perfectly well acquainted with the odour of that
+rose among briars, that lily of the valley, that liquid amber.’—‘It may
+be so,’ said Sancho: ‘I have often known such smells come from myself,
+as then seemed to come from my Lady Dulcinea: but that is not to be
+wondered at; because, as the saying is, every fiend may stink of
+brimstone.’—‘Well, then,’ added Don Quixote, ‘she hath now winnowed the
+wheat and sent it to the mill; how did she behave after she had read my
+letter?’—‘The letter,’ answered Sancho, ‘was not read at all; for, as
+she could neither read nor write, she chose to rend and tear it to
+pieces, rather than give it to any body who might publish her secrets in
+the village, saying, she was very well satisfied with the information I
+gave her by word of mouth, concerning your worship’s love for her, and
+the extraordinary penance I left you doing on her account. Finally, she
+bade me tell you, that she kissed your worship’s hands, being much more
+desirous of seeing than writing to you; and therefore she entreated and
+commanded your worship, by these presents, to quit this desart, and
+leave off playing the fool, and forthwith set out on your journey to
+Toboso, provided that something else of greater importance should not
+happen, for she longed very much for a sight of your worship, and
+laughed heartily when I told her, that you had taken the name of the
+Knight with the Rueful Countenance. When I asked if the Biscayan had
+been lately with her, she answered, “Yes;” and that he was very much of
+a gentleman; but, when I enquired about the galley-slaves, she said she
+had as yet seen none of them.’
+
+‘Hitherto all goes well,’ said the knight, ‘but pray tell me what jewel
+she gave you at parting, for the news you had brought of me her lover;
+for, it is an ancient practice and custom among knights-errant and their
+mistresses, to bestow upon their squires, damsels, or dwarfs, who bring
+them news of each other, some rich jewel, as a reward and acknowledgment
+for the message.’—‘It may be so,’ said Sancho; ‘and I think it an
+excellent custom, but that must have been in time past; for in this age
+it is customary to give nothing but a piece of bread and cheese, which
+was all the present I received from my Lady Dulcinea, who reached it
+over the yard wall, when I took my leave; by this token, that the cheese
+was made of ewe’s milk.’—‘She is liberal to excess,’ said the knight;
+‘and if she omitted giving thee a jewel, it must certainly have been
+owing to her not having any by her; but all in good time[89]; I shall
+see her soon, and then every thing will be set to rights. Yet there is
+one thing, Sancho, which overwhelms me with astonishment. You seem to
+have travelled through the air; for you have spent little more than
+three days in your journey; though Toboso is more than thirty leagues
+distant from hence. From this extraordinary expedition, I conjecture,
+that the sage, who is my friend, and interests himself in my affairs,
+and such there certainly is, and must be, else I should be no true
+knight-errant; I say, this inchanter must have assisted thee in thy
+journey, though thou didst not perceive it; for some there are of that
+class, who will take up a knight-errant while he is asleep in his bed,
+and without his knowing any thing of the matter, he shall awake next
+morning in some place more than a thousand leagues from the house where
+he took up his lodging the night before; and without such sudden
+transportations, it would be impossible for knights to succour each
+other in distress, as they frequently do. A knight errant, for example,
+happens to be fighting in the desarts of Armenia, with some fierce
+dragon, dreadful goblin, or rival knight; and being worsted, and just at
+the point of being slain, behold, when he least expects it, there
+suddenly appears in a cloud or fiery chariot, another knight, a friend
+of his, who but a minute before resided in England, and who assists and
+delivers him from death; and that same night, he finds himself supping
+at his ease at his own house, which is often two or three thousand
+leagues from the field of battle; and all this is effected by the
+industry and art of sage inchanters, who take those valiant knights
+under their protection.
+
+‘Wherefore, friend Sancho, I can easily believe that thou hast in so
+little time travelled from hence to Toboso and back again; because, as I
+have already observed, some friendly sage must have carried thee through
+the air, though thou didst not perceive it.’—‘Not unlikely,’ replied the
+squire, ‘for, in good faith, Rozinante went like a gypsy’s ass, with
+quicksilver in his ears.’—‘With quicksilver,’ cried the knight; ‘ay, and
+a legion of dæmons to boot, who are beings that travel themselves, and
+make other people travel as fast as they please, without tiring.
+
+‘But, waving this subject, how doest thou think I ought to regulate my
+conduct, now that my mistress commands me to appear in her presence!
+for, although I find myself obliged to comply with her orders, I am
+utterly incapacitated by the boon I have granted to this princess: and I
+am bound by the laws of chivalry to fulfil my promise, before I indulge
+my inclination. On one hand, I am persecuted and harrassed by the desire
+of seeing Dulcinea; on the other, I am incited and invited by my honour
+and the glory I shall acquire in this enterprize. I am therefore
+determined to travel with all expedition, until I arrive at the place
+where the giant resides; and, when I shall have restored the princess to
+the peaceful possession of her kingdom, after having shortened the
+usurper by the head, I will return to the rays of that beauty which
+enlightens my thoughts, and excuse myself in such a manner as to obtain
+her forgiveness, as she will plainly perceive that my delay tended to
+the increase of her glory and fame; seeing all my reputation in arms,
+past, present, or to come, proceeds from her favour and
+inspiration.’—‘Lord!’ cried Sancho ‘how your worship is concerned about
+a parcel of potsherds. Pray tell me, Sir, do you intend to make this
+journey for nothing, and to let such a rich and noble marriage as this
+slip through your fingers; while the dowry is no less than a kingdom,
+which I have actually heard is more than twenty thousand leagues round,
+plentifully stored with every thing that is needful for the sustenance
+of mortal man, and larger than Portugal and Castile put together? Hold
+your tongue, a God’s name, and take shame to yourself, for what you have
+said; pardon my freedom, take my advice, and marry in the first place
+where we can find a curate, or make use of our friend the licentiate,
+who will buckle you handsomely. Take notice, therefore, that I am of an
+age to give good counsel, and this that I offer will fit you to a hair,
+for a bird in hand is worth two in the bush; and, as the saying is, He
+that hath good in his view, and yet will not evil eschew, his folly
+deserveth to rue.’
+
+‘Sancho,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘if thou advisest me to marry, with a
+view of seeing me king, after I shall have killed the giant, that I may
+have an opportunity of rewarding thee with what I have promised, thou
+must know that I can easily gratify thy wishes, without wedding the
+princess; for, before I engage in the combat, I will covenant, that,
+provided I come off conqueror, and decline the marriage, I shall have it
+in my power to dispose of one part of the kingdom, as I shall think
+proper; and to whom should I give it but to thee?’—‘That is very plain,’
+replied the squire; ‘but I beseech your worship to make choice of the
+sea-coast, because if I should happen to dislike the country, I may ship
+off my black slaves, and sell them, as I have already hinted. Wherefore,
+without troubling yourself at present, about my Lady Dulcinea, I would
+have you go and slay the giant, and conclude that affair from which,
+before God! we shall certainly reap much honour and advantage.’—‘I tell
+thee, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘thou art in the right, and I will
+follow thy advice, so far as it regards my attendance upon the princess,
+before I visit Dulcinea. But say not a word to any body, even those of
+our company not excepted, of this conversation; for, as she is so
+reserved and careful of concealing her sentiments, it would be
+inexcusable in me, if I, or any other through my means, should disclose
+them.’—‘Since this is the case,’ said the squire, ‘why does your worship
+command all those that are vanquished by your arm to go and present
+themselves before my Lady Dulcinea? you may as well give it under your
+hand, that you are her true and trusty lover; for, if you compel them to
+fall upon their knees before her, and say they are sent by your worship
+to pay homage to her, how is it possible that the sentiments of either
+you or her can be concealed?’
+
+‘What an ignorant and simple fellow thou art!’ resumed the knight;
+‘canst thou not see that all this redounds to her praise and exaltation?
+Thou must know, that in our stile of chivalry, it is deemed a great
+honour for a lady to be admired by a great many knights, whose wishes
+extend no farther than to the desire of serving her for her own sake,
+without expecting any other reward for their great and manifold
+services, than the glory of being admitted into the number of her
+knights.’—‘In like manner,’ said Sancho, ‘I have heard a priest in the
+pulpit observe, that we must love our Saviour for his own sake, without
+being moved thereto, by any fear of punishment or hopes of applause,
+though, for my own part, I am inclined to love and serve him on account
+of his power.’—‘Now, the devil take the clown!’ cried Don Quixote; ‘he
+sometimes makes such shrewd observations that one would think he had
+actually studied!’—‘And yet, upon my conscience,’ answered the squire,
+‘I know not so much as my letters.’ At that instant Master Nicholas
+calling aloud to them to stop a little, that the rest might have time to
+drink at a spring which they found in the way; Don Quixote turned back,
+to the no small satisfaction of Sancho, who was already tired with
+telling lyes, and afraid of being detected by his master; for, although
+he knew that Dulcinea was the daughter of a peasant at Toboso, he had
+never seen her in his life. By this time Cardenio had put on the cloaths
+which Dorothea wore when they found her; and, though they were none of
+the most elegant, he made a much better figure than with his tattered
+dress, which he now threw away. The whole company sat down, by the
+spring, where, while they appeased the keen hunger that possessed them
+all, with what the curate had brought from the inn, a lad chanced to
+pass that way, who, looking earnestly at the whole company, at length
+run up to Don Quixote, and embracing his knees, began to blubber most
+heartily, saying, ‘Ah! Signior, don’t you know me? look at me again; I
+am that same individual young man called Andrew, whom your worship
+delivered from the tree to which I was tied.’ The knight recollected his
+features, and taking him by the hand, addressed himself to the company
+in these words.
+
+‘That you may see of what importance knight-errantry is, to redress the
+wrongs and grievances which are daily committed by the insolent and
+wicked wretches who live upon this earth; know, that as I passed by a
+wood some time ago, I heard the screams and woeful cries of some
+afflicted creature in the utmost distress: and in consequence of my oath
+and obligation, riding towards the place from which the lamentation
+seemed to come, I found this very young man tied to an oak tree; and I
+am glad from my soul that he is here in person, to bear witness to the
+truth. I say, he was bound to an oak, naked, from the waist upwards; and
+a peasant, who I afterwards understood was his master, stood scourging
+him with the reins of a bridle. When I enquired into the cause of this
+barbarous treatment, the rustick answered, that he only whipped his own
+servant for being guilty of some neglect that savoured more of
+knavishness than simplicity. The boy protested he had done nothing but
+asked his wages: to this affirmation the master replied, by some
+asseverations which I have forgot; but though I heard his excuses, I
+would not admit of them. In short, I ordered the peasant to untie the
+youth, and made him swear that he would carry him home and pay him his
+wages in ready cash, nay, and pay him in rials that should be perfumed.
+Is not this literally true, son Andrew? Didst thou not observe with what
+authority I commanded, and with what humility he promised to comply with
+every thing that I imposed, suggested, and desired? Answer without
+perturbation or doubt, and tell this honourable company what passed,
+that they may see and be convinced of what use it is, as I said, to have
+knights-errant continually upon duty.’
+
+‘All that your worship hath told is very true,’ answered the young man;
+‘but the end of the business was quite the reverse of what you
+imagined.’—‘How! the reverse!’ cried the knight; ‘has not the peasant
+paid thee thy wages?’—‘Far from paying me my wages,’ said Andrew, ‘your
+worship was no sooner out of the wood, and we by ourselves again, than
+he bound me a second time to the same oak, and lashed me so severely,
+that I remained like St. Bartholomew, flayed alive, and at every stripe
+he jeered and scoffed, and made game of your worship in such a manner,
+that if it had not been for the excessive pain I felt, I could not have
+refrained from laughing at what he said. In short, he treated me so
+cruelly, that till this very day, I have been in the hospital, for the
+cure of the wounds I received from that mischievous farmer; and truly
+your worship was the cause of all that I suffered; for if you had
+followed your own road, without going where nobody called you, or
+meddling with other people’s affairs, my master would have been
+satisfied with giving me a cool dozen or two, and then loosed and paid
+me my due. But when your worship abused him so unseasonably, and called
+him so many bad names, his choler was inflamed; and, as he could not be
+revenged upon you, as soon as you was gone, he discharged the storm of
+his wrath upon me, in such a manner that I shall never be my own man
+again.’
+
+‘The misfortune,’ said the knight, ‘was in my leaving him before I had
+seen thee paid; for I ought to have known by long experience, that no
+peasant will keep his word, if he thinks it his interest to break it.
+But thou mayest remember, Andrew, that I swore if he did not perform his
+promise, I would return and search for him, until he should be found,
+even if he should hide himself in the whale’s belly.’—‘Very true,’
+replied Andrew; ‘but that threat signified nothing.’—‘Thou shalt
+presently see what it signifies!’ resumed Don Quixote; who, getting up
+hastily, ordered Sancho to bridle Rozinante, who was following their
+example in refreshing himself with grass.
+
+When Dorothea asked what he intended to do, he replied, he was going in
+quest of the peasant, to chastise him for his villainous behaviour, and
+make him pay Andrew to the last farthing, in despite and defiance of all
+the rusticks upon earth. To this declaration, she answered, by desiring
+him to consider, that according to the promised boon, he could not
+engage in any enterprize, until her affair should be finished; and since
+this stipulation was known to himself better than to any other person,
+she intreated him to repress his resentment till his return from her
+kingdom. ‘That is very true,’ resumed the knight, ‘and Andrew must wait
+with patience for my return, as your majesty observes; but I repeat my
+oath and my promise, never to desist until I shall have seen his wages
+paid, and his injuries revenged.’—‘I don’t trust to those oaths,’ said
+Andrew, ‘and would rather, at present, have wherewithal to bear my
+expences to Seville, than all the revenge in the world; be so good, if
+you have any victuals, to give me something to eat upon my journey, and
+the Lord be with your worship and all knights-errant, who, I wish, may
+always err as much in their own affairs, as they have done in mine.’
+Sancho, taking a luncheon of bread and cheese from the store, gave it to
+the young man, saying, ‘Here, brother Andrew, take this; and now we have
+all shared in your misfortune.’ When Andrew asked what share of it had
+fallen to him, he replied, ‘That share of bread and cheese, which I have
+given you; and God knows whether I shall not feel the loss of it; for
+you must know, friend, that we squires of knights-errant are subject to
+many a hungry belly, with other misfortunes which are more easily felt
+than described.’
+
+Andrew accepted of the bread and cheese, and seeing that nobody offered
+him any thing else, made his bows, and as the saying is, took his foot
+in his hand[90]. True it is, before he departed, he addressed himself to
+Don Quixote, saying, ‘For the love of God! Sir knight-errant, if ever
+you meet me again, spare yourself the trouble of coming to my
+assistance, even though you should see me cut into minced meat, but
+leave me to my misfortune, which cannot be so great but that it may be
+increased by the succour of your worship, whom God confound, together
+with all the knights errant that ever were born.’ Don Quixote started
+up, in order to chastise him, but he ran away with such nimbleness, that
+nobody attempted to pursue him; and the knight was so ashamed of his
+exploit, that the company were at great pains to contain their laughter,
+to prevent his being quite out of countenance.
+
+Footnote 89:
+
+ Literally, Sleeves are good even after Easter; i. e. Though a good
+ thing comes late, it is never unseasonable.
+
+Footnote 90:
+
+ Literally, “Took the road in his hands.”
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. V.
+ WHICH TREATS OF WHAT HAPPENED TO DON QUIXOTE AND HIS COMPANY
+ AT THE INN.
+
+
+Their sumptuous meal being ended, they saddled their beasts, and without
+meeting any thing worthy of mention, arrived next day at the very inn
+which was so much the dread and terror of Sancho; but, unwilling as he
+was to enter, he could not avoid going into it. The innkeeper, his wife,
+daughter, and Maritornes, seeing Don Quixote and Sancho at the gate,
+went out to receive them, with great demonstrations of joy; and the
+knight returned their compliments with grave deportment and solemn
+approbation, desiring them to prepare a better bed for him than that
+which he had occupied before. To this demand, the landlady answered,
+that, provided he would pay better than he did before, he should lie
+like a prince; he promised to see her satisfied, and they immediately
+made up a tolerable bed, in the same garret where he had formerly
+lodged, in which he laid himself down, very much disordered, both in
+body and mind. He was no sooner locked up in his chamber, than the
+landlady attacked the barber, and seizing him by the beard, cried, ‘By
+my faith! you shall no longer use my tail for a beard. Give me my tail,
+I say; for it is a shame to see how my husband’s thing is bandied about
+for want of it; I mean the comb that he used to stick in my tail.’ But
+the barber would not part with it, for all her tugging, until the priest
+desired him to restore it: because there was no farther occasion for the
+disguise, as he might now appear in his own shape, and tell the knight,
+that after he had been robbed by the galley-slaves, he had fled to that
+inn; and if he should enquire for the princess’s gentleman usher, they
+would tell him, she had dispatched him away before her, to advertise her
+friends and subjects, that she was upon the road, accompanied by the
+deliverer of them all. Thus satisfied, the barber willingly restored the
+landlady’s tail, and every thing else they had borrowed with a view of
+disengaging Don Quixote from the mountain; and all the people of the inn
+were astonished at the beauty of Dorothea, as also at the genteel mien
+of the swain Cardenio. The curate ordered them to get ready something to
+eat; and the innkeeper, in hope of being well paid, dressed, with all
+dispatch, a pretty reasonable dinner; but they did not think proper to
+waken Don Quixote, who, they believed, stood at that time more in need
+of sleep than of food.
+
+The discourse at table, in presence of the innkeeper, his wife,
+daughter, Maritornes, and all the other lodgers, happening to turn upon
+the uncommon madness of the knight, and the condition in which they
+found him; the hostess recounted to them, what had happened in her house
+between him and the carrier; then looking round the room, and seeing
+Sancho was not present, she told the whole story of the blanketting, to
+the no small entertainment of the company. The curate observing that Don
+Quixote’s understanding was disordered by the books of chivalry he had
+read, the innkeeper replied, ‘I cannot conceive how that is possible;
+for, really, in my opinion, they are the best reading in the world: I
+have now in my custody two or three of them, together with some other
+papers, which, I verily believe, have preserved not only my life, but
+also that of many others; for, in harvest-time, a great number of
+reapers come hither, to pass the heat of the day; and there being always
+one among them who can read, he takes up a book, and we, to the number
+of thirty or more, forming a ring about him, listen with such pleasure,
+as were enough to make an old man grow young again; at least, I can say
+for myself; when I hear him read of those furious and terrible strokes
+that have been given by certain knights, I am seized with the desire of
+being at it myself, and could listen to such stories whole nights and
+days without ceasing.’—‘I wish you would, with all my heart,’ replied
+the wife; ‘for, I am sure, I never enjoy a quiet minute in the house,
+except when they are reading, and then you are so bamboozled with what
+you hear, you forget to scold for that time.’—‘That is the very truth of
+the matter,’ said Maritornes; ‘in good faith, I myself am hugely
+diverted, when I hear those things; they are so clever, especially when
+they tell us how yon t’other lady lay among orange trees, in the
+embraces of her knight, while a duenna, half dead with envy and
+surprize, kept sentry over them; odd! all these things make my chops
+water.’
+
+‘And what is your opinion of the matter, my young mistress?’ said the
+priest to the innkeeper’s daughter. ‘Truly, Signior, I don’t well know,’
+she replied; ‘but listen among the rest; and really, though I do not
+understand it, I am pleased with what I hear; yet I take no delight in
+those strokes that my father loves; but, in the lamentations made by the
+knights, when they are absent from their mistresses, which in good
+sooth, often make me weep with compassion.’—‘Then you would soon give
+them relief, if they mourned for you, my pretty maid?’ said Dorothea. ‘I
+don’t know what I should do,’ answered the girl; ‘but, this I know, that
+some of those ladies are so cruel, their knights call them lions,
+tygers, and a thousand other reproachful names. Jesus! I can’t conceive
+what sort of folks those must be, who are so hard-hearted and
+unconscionable as to let a man of honour die, or lose his senses, rather
+than take the least notice of him; why should they be so coy? If their
+suitors court them in an honest way, let them marry, and that is all the
+men desire.’—‘Hold your peace, child,’ said the landlady; ‘methinks, you
+are too well acquainted with these things; young maidens, like you,
+should neither know nor speak so much.’ The daughter said, as the
+gentleman asked her the question, she could do no less than answer him:
+and the curate demanding a sight of the books, ‘With all my heart,’
+replied the innkeeper, who, going to his own chamber, brought out an old
+portmanteau secured with a chain, which being opened, the priest found
+in it three large volumes and some manuscripts written in a very fair
+character.
+
+The first book they opened appeared to be Don Cirongilio of Thrace; the
+second, Felixmarte of Hyrcania; and the third, was the history of that
+great Captain Gonçalo Hernandes de Cordova, with the life of Diego
+Garcia de Paredes. The curate having read the titles of the two first,
+turned to the barber, saying, ‘We now want our friend’s housekeeper and
+cousin.’—‘Not at all,’ answered Mr. Nicholas, ‘I myself can convey them
+to the yard, or rather to the chimney, where there is actually a special
+good fire.’—‘What! you intend to burn these books, then?’ said the
+innkeeper. ‘Only these two,’ answered the curate, pointing to Don
+Cirongilio and Felixmarte. ‘I suppose, then,’ resumed the landlord, ‘my
+books are heretick and flegmatick?’—‘You mean schismatick, honest
+friend, and not flegmatick,’ said the barber. ‘Even so,’ replied the
+landlord; ‘but, if any of them be burnt, let it be the history of that
+great captain, together with Diego Garcia; for, I would rather suffer
+you to commit my son to the flames, than to burn e’er a one of the
+rest.’—‘Heark ye, brother,’ said the curate, ‘these two books are
+stuffed with lyes, vanity and extravagance; but that of the great
+captain is a true history, containing the exploits of Gonçalo Hernandez
+de Cordova, who, by his numerous and valiant atchievements, acquired,
+all the world over, the epithet of the Great Captain, a renowned and
+splendid appellation, merited by him alone; and that Diego Garcia de
+Paredes was a noble cavalier, born in the city of Truxillo in
+Estremadura, a most valiant soldier, and endowed with such bodily
+strength, that with a single finger he could stop a mill-wheel in the
+heat of its motion; and being once posted at the end of a bridge, with a
+two-handed sword, he alone prevented a vast army from passing over it;
+he performed a great many actions of the same kind, which he himself
+hath recounted with all the modesty of a gentleman who writes his own
+memoirs; whereas, had they been committed to writing by any other free
+and dispassionate author, they would have eclipsed all the Hectors,
+Achilles’, and Orlandos, that ever lived.’—‘You may tell such stuff to
+my grannam,’ said the inn-keeper. ‘Lord! how you are surprized at the
+stopping of a mill-wheel! before God, I advise your worship to read, as
+I have done[91], the history of Felixmarte of Hyrcania, who, with a
+single back-stroke, cut five giants through the middle, as easily as if
+they had been made of beans, like the figures with which the boys divert
+themselves. Another time, he engaged a most infinite and powerful army,
+consisting of a million and six hundred thousand soldiers, all armed
+cap-a-pee, whom he totally routed, as if they had been flocks of sheep.
+Then what shall we say of the most excellent Don Cirongilio of Thrace,
+who was so valiant and courageous, as may be seen in the book of his
+history, that while he was sailing on the river, a fiery serpent rose
+above the water, which he no sooner saw, than leaping on its back, he
+fastened himself astride upon its scaly shoulders, and seized if by the
+throat, with both hands, so forcibly, that the serpent feeling itself
+well-nigh strangled, could find no other remedy but dive into the
+profound, with the knight, who would not quit his hold; and when he
+descended to the bottom, he found himself in a palace situated in the
+midst of a garden that was wonderfully pleasant; and then the serpent
+turned itself into an ancient man, who told him such things as you would
+rejoice to hear. Say no more, Signior; if you was to hear it, you would
+run stark mad for joy; so that, a fig for your great captain, and that
+same Diego Garcia you talk of!’
+
+Dorothea hearing this harangue, whispered to Cardenio, ‘Our host wants
+not much to make the second edition of Don Quixote.’—‘I think so too,’
+answered Cardenio; ‘for, by his discourse, he seems to take it for
+granted, that every thing which is recounted in these books, is neither
+more nor less than the truth; and all the capuchins in Spain will not be
+able to alter his belief.’—‘Consider, brother,’ resumed the curate,
+‘that there never was upon earth such a person as Felixmarte of
+Hyrcania, nor Don Cirongilio of Thrace, nor any other of such knights as
+are celebrated in books of chivalry. The whole is a fiction composed by
+idle persons of genius, for the very purpose you mentioned, namely
+pastime, which was the aim of your reapers; for, I swear to you, no such
+knights ever existed, nor were any such exploits and extravagancies ever
+performed in this world.’—‘You must throw that bone to some other dog!’
+replied the landlord: ‘as if I did not know that two and three make
+five; or where my own shoe pinches. Your worship must not think to feed
+me with pap, for egad I am no such suckling! A good joke, faith! You
+would make me believe that all the contents of these books are madness
+and lyes, although they are printed by licence from the king’s council;
+as if they were persons who would wink at the printing of such lyes,
+battles, and inchantments, as turn people’s brains.’—‘Friend,’ replied
+the curate, ‘I have already told you, that they are designed for the
+amusement of our idle hours; and, as in every well-governed
+commonwealth, the games of chess, billiards, and tennis, are licensed
+for the entertainment of those who neither can nor ought to work; in
+like manner, those books are allowed to be printed, on the supposition,
+that no body is so ignorant as to believe a syllable of what they
+contain; and if I was now permitted, or the company required it, I could
+give some hints towards the improvements of books of chivalry, which
+perhaps might be both serviceable and entertaining; but, I hope, the
+time will come, when I may have an opportunity of imparting my
+suggestions to those who can convert them to general use: meanwhile, Mr.
+Publican, you may depend upon the truth of what I have said; take your
+books away, and settle the affair of their truth or falshood, just as
+your own comprehension will permit; much good may they do you, and God
+grant that you may never halt on the same foot on which your lodger Don
+Quixote is lame!’—‘I hope,’ answered the innkeeper, ‘I shall never be
+mad enough to turn knight-errant, as I can easily perceive that the
+customs now-a-days are quite different from those in times past, when,
+as it is reported, those famous heroes travelled about the world.’
+
+Sancho, who had come into the room, about the middle of this
+conversation, was very much confounded and perplexed, when he heard them
+observe, that there was no such thing as knight-errantry in the present
+age, and that all the books of chivalry were filled with extravagance
+and fiction; he therefore determined within himself, to wait the issue
+of his master’s last undertaking; and if it should not succeed as
+happily as he expected, to leave him, and return, with his wife and
+children, to his former labour.
+
+When the innkeeper took up the portmanteau with the books, in order to
+carry them away, ‘Stay,’ said the curate, ‘until I examine these papers
+which are written in such a fair character.’ The landlord accordingly
+pulled out a manuscript, consisting of eight sheets of paper, intitled,
+in large letters, ‘The Novel of the Impertinent Curiosity[92].’ The
+priest having read three or four lines to himself, said, ‘Really the
+title of this novel pleases me so much, that I have a strong inclination
+to peruse the whole.’ To this observation, the innkeeper replied, ‘Then
+your reverence may read it aloud; for, you must know, the reading of it
+hath given great satisfaction to several lodgers at this inn, who have
+earnestly begged the copy; but that request I would not comply with,
+because I think of restoring it to the right owner, as I expect that the
+person who left the portmanteau with the books and papers, in a mistake,
+will return, on purpose to fetch them; or, you know, he may chance to
+travel this way on, other business; and though I should miss them
+heavily, in faith they shall be restored; for, though an innkeeper, I am
+still a Christian.’—‘Friend,’ said the curate, ‘you are very much in the
+right; but, for all that, if I like the novel, you shall give me leave
+to transcribe it.’—‘With all my heart,’ replied the landlord. While this
+discourse passed between them, Cardenio having taken up the manuscript,
+and began to read, was of the curate’s opinion, and intreated him to
+read it aloud, that the whole company might hear it. ‘I will,’ answered
+the priest, ‘if you think we had not better spend the time in sleeping
+than in reading.’—‘For my own part,’ said Dorothea, ‘it will be a
+sufficient refreshment for me to listen to some entertaining story; for
+my mind is not composed enough to let me sleep, even if I stood in need
+of repose.’—‘If that be the case,’ resumed the curate, ‘I will read it
+out of curiosity, at a venture, and perhaps it will yield us some
+entertainment into the bargain.’ Master Nicholas earnestly joined in the
+request, and Sancho himself expressed a desire of hearing it; upon which
+the licentiate finding he should please the whole company as well as
+himself, ‘Well, then,’ said he, ‘listen with attention, for the novel
+begins in this manner.’
+
+Footnote 91:
+
+ It will appear in the sequel, that the landlord could not read at all;
+ nevertheless, he might boast of what he could not do.
+
+Footnote 92:
+
+ The original, which is _curioso impertinente_, signifies one who is
+ impertinently curious, not a curious impertinent.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VI.
+ THE NOVEL OF THE IMPERTINENT CURIOSITY.
+
+
+‘In Florence, a rich and celebrated city of Italy, situated in the
+province called Tuscany, lived Anselmo and Lothario, two wealthy and
+noble cavaliers, so strictly united in the bands of amity, that every
+body who knew them, called them by way of excellence and epithet, the
+Two Friends; and, indeed, being both batchelors, and their age and
+education so much alike, it was not to be wondered at if a reciprocal
+affection sprung up between them; true it is, Anselmo was rather more
+addicted to amorous pastime than Lothario, whose chief delight was in
+hunting; yet, upon occasion, Anselmo could quit his own amusements to
+pursue those of his friend; and Lothario could postpone his favourite
+diversion, in order to practise that of Anselmo; in this manner their
+inclinations proceeded so mutually, that no clock ever went with more
+regularity. Anselmo happened to fall desperately in love with a young
+lady of rank and beauty in the same city, descended from such a noble
+family, and so amiable in herself, that he determined, with the
+approbation of his friend, without which he did nothing, to demand her
+of her parents in marriage; and accordingly put his resolution in
+practice. Lothario was intrusted with the message, and concluded the
+affair so much to the satisfaction of his friends, that in a very little
+time Anselmo saw himself in possession of his heart’s desire; and
+Camilla thought herself so happy in having obtained such a husband, that
+she was incessant in her acknowledgments to Heaven and Lothario, by
+whose mediation her happiness was effected.
+
+‘During the first two days after marriage, which are commonly spent in
+feasting and mirth, Lothario, as usual, frequented the house of his
+friend, with a view of honouring his nuptials, and endeavouring, as much
+as in him lay, to promote the joy and festivity attending all such
+occasions; but the wedding being over, and the frequency of visits and
+congratulations abated, he began carefully and gradually to absent
+himself from Anselmo’s house, thinking, as every prudent person would
+naturally conclude, that a man ought not to visit and frequent the house
+of a friend after he is married, in the same manner as he had practised
+while he was single; for, though suspicion should never find harbour
+with true and virtuous friendship, yet the honour of a married man is so
+delicate, as to be thought subject to injury, not only from a friend,
+but even from a brother. Anselmo perceived Lothario’s remissness, and
+complained of it loudly; saying, that if he had thought his marriage
+would have impaired their former correspondence, he never would have
+altered his condition; and begged, that as by the mutual friendship
+which inspired them while he was single, they had acquired such an
+agreeable title as that of the Two Friends, he would not now suffer that
+endearing and celebrated name to be lost, by a scrupulous adherence to
+mere form and punctilio. He therefore entreated him, if he might be
+allowed to use the expression, to be master of his house, and to come in
+and go out as formerly, assuring him that the inclinations of Camilla,
+in that respect, were exactly conformable to his own; and that knowing
+the perfect friendship which subsisted between them, she was extremely
+mortified at his late shyness.
+
+‘To these and many other arguments used by Anselmo, to persuade his
+friend to frequent his house as usual, Lothario answered with such
+prudence, force, and discernment, that the other was convinced of his
+discreet conduct; and it was agreed betwixt them, that Lothario should
+dine with him twice a week, besides holidays; but, notwithstanding this
+agreement, he resolved to comply with it no farther than he should see
+convenient for the honour of Anselmo, which was dearer to him than his
+own. He said, and his observation was just, that a man on whom Heaven
+hath bestowed a beautiful wife, should be as cautious of the men he
+brings home to his house, as careful in observing the female friends
+with whom his spouse converses abroad; for that which cannot be
+performed nor concerted in the street or the church, or at public shows
+and diversions, with which a husband must sometimes indulge his wife,
+may be easily transacted in the house of a female friend or relation, in
+whom his chief confidence is reposed. Wherefore, Lothario observed, that
+every married man had occasion for some friend to apprize him of any
+omission in her conduct; for it often happens that he is too much in
+love with his wife, to observe, or too much afraid of offending her, to
+prescribe limits to her behaviour, in those things, the following or
+eschewing of which may tend to his honour or reproach, whereas that
+inconvenience might be easily amended by the advice of a friend. But
+where shall we find such a zealous, discreet, trusty friend, as is here
+required? I really know not, except in Lothario himself, who, consulting
+the honour of Anselmo, with the utmost care and circumspection, was at
+great pains to contract, abridge, and diminish, the number of the days
+on which he had agreed to frequent his house; that the idle vulgar, and
+prying eyes of malice, might not indulge their love of slander, when
+they perceived a genteel young man of such birth, fortune, and
+accomplishments as he knew himself possessed of, go into the house of
+such a celebrated beauty as Camilla; for, although his virtue and honour
+might be a sufficient check, to the most malevolent tongue, he would not
+expose his own character, or that of his friend, to the smallest
+censure; and therefore employed the greatest part of those days on which
+he had agreed to visit Anselmo, in such things as he pretended were
+indispensible; so that when they were present, a great deal of time was
+consumed by the complaints of the one, and excuses of the other. One
+day, however, as they were walking through a meadow, near the suburbs of
+the city, Anselmo addressed himself to Lothario in these terms.
+
+‘“You believe, my friend Lothario, that I can never be thankful enough
+to Heaven for the blessings I enjoy, not only in the most indulgent
+parents, and in the abundance of those things which are called the goods
+of nature and fortune, but also in a friend like you, and a wife like
+Camilla, two pledges which I esteem, if not as highly as I ought, at
+least as much as I can. Yet, though I possess all those benefits which
+usually constitute the happiness of mankind, I find myself one of the
+most disgusted and discontented men alive. I have been for these many
+days so harrassed and fatigued with such an odd unaccountable desire,
+that I cannot help being amazed at my infatuation, for which I often
+blame and rebuke myself, endeavouring to suppress and conceal it from my
+own reflection; but I find it as impossible to keep the secret, as if I
+had industriously published it to the whole world, and since it must
+actually be disclosed to somebody, I would have it deposited in the most
+secret archives of your heart, in full confidence, that by the diligence
+which you as a trusty friend will exert in my behalf, when you know it,
+I shall soon see myself delivered from that anxiety to which it hath
+reduced me, and by your assiduity be raised to a pitch of joy equal to
+the degree of vexation which my own folly hath intailed upon me.”
+
+‘Lothario was astonished at this discourse of Anselmo, as he could not
+comprehend the meaning of such a long preface and preamble, and
+endeavoured, by revolving every thing in his imagination, to find out
+what this desire could be, that preyed so much upon the spirits of his
+friend; but, finding himself always wide of the mark, he was willing to
+ease himself immediately of the excessive pain his suspence occasioned;
+and with this view told Anselmo, that he did a manifest injury to the
+warmth of his friendship, in going about the bush, seeking indirect
+methods to impart his most secret thoughts, since he was well assured
+that he might entirely depend upon him, either for advice to suppress,
+or assistance to support them. “I am well convinced of the truth of what
+you say,” answered Anselmo, “and in that confidence will tell you, my
+friend, that the desire with which I am possessed, is to be certain,
+whether or not my wife Camilla is as virtuous and perfect as I believe
+her to be; and this truth I shall never be fully persuaded of, until the
+perfection of her nature appear upon trial, as pure gold is proved by
+fire; for it is my opinion, that there is no woman virtuous, but in
+proportion to the solicitation she hath withstood; and that she only is
+chaste, who hath not yielded to the promises, presents, tears, and
+continual importunities of persevering lovers. And pray where is the
+merit of a woman’s being chaste, when nobody ever courted her to be
+otherwise? what wonder that she should be reserved and cautious, who has
+no opportunity of indulging loose inclinations, and who knows her
+husband would immediately put her to death should he once catch her
+tripping? Wherefore I can never entertain the same degree of esteem for
+a woman who is chaste out of fear, or want of opportunity, as I would
+for her who hath triumphed over perseverance of solicitation; so that
+for these, and many other reasons I could urge to sanction and enforce
+my opinion, I desire that my wife Camilla may undergo the test, and be
+refined in the fire of importunate addresses, by one possessed of
+sufficient accomplishments to inspire a woman with love; and if she
+comes off, as I believe she will, victorious in the trial, I shall think
+my own happiness unparalleled. I shall then be able to say that my
+wishes are fulfilled, and that she hath fallen to my lot, of whom the
+wise man saith, ‘_Who hath found her?_’ And even if the contrary of what
+I expect should happen, the satisfaction of seeing my opinion confirmed,
+will help me to bear with patience that which would otherwise prove such
+a costly experiment. Supposing, then, that nothing you can say, in
+opposition to this desire of mine, can avail in diverting me from my
+purpose, I expect and entreat that you, my friend Lothario, will
+condescend to be the instrument with which I execute this work of my
+inclination. I will give you proper opportunities, and supply you with
+every thing I see necessary for soliciting a woman of virtue, honour,
+and disinterested reserve; and what among other things induces me to
+intrust you with this enterprize, is the consideration, that should
+Camilla’s scruples be overcome, you will not pursue your conquest to the
+last circumstance of rigour, but only suppose that done, which, for good
+reason, ought to remain undone; so that I shall be injured by her
+inclination alone, and my wrongs lie buried in the virtue of your
+silence, which I know, in whatever concerns my welfare, will be eternal
+as that of death. Wherefore, if you would have me enjoy what deserves to
+be called life, you will forthwith undertake this amorous contest, not
+with lukewarmness and languor, but with that eagerness and diligence
+which corresponds with my wish, and the confidence in which I am secured
+by your friendship.”
+
+‘Such was the discourse of Anselmo; to which Lothario listened so
+attentively, that except what he is already said to have uttered, he did
+not open his lips, until his friend had finished his proposal: but
+finding he had nothing more to alledge, after having for some time gazed
+upon him as an object hitherto unseen, that inspired him with
+astonishment and surprize, “I cannot be persuaded, Anselmo,” said he,
+“but what you have said was spoke in jest; for, had I thought you in
+earnest, I should not have suffered you to proceed so far; but, by
+refusing to listen, have prevented such a long harangue. Without doubt,
+you must either mistake my disposition, or I be utterly unacquainted
+with yours; and yet I know you to be Anselmo, and you must be sensible
+that I am Lothario; the misfortune is, I no longer find you the same
+Anselmo you was wont to be, nor do I appear to you the same Lothario as
+before; your discourse favours not of that Anselmo who was my friend,
+nor is what you ask a thing to be demanded of that Lothario who shared
+your confidence. Good men, as a certain poet observes, may try and avail
+themselves of their friends, _usque ad aras_; I mean, not presume upon
+their friendship, in things contrary to the decrees of Heaven. Now, if a
+heathen entertained such ideas of friendship, how much more should they
+be cherished by a Christian, who knows, that no human affection ought to
+interfere with our love to God; and, when a person stretches his
+connections so far as to lay aside all respect for Heaven, in order to
+manifest his regard for a friend, he ought not to be swayed by trifles
+or matters of small consequence, but by those things only on which the
+life and honour of a friend depend. Tell me then, Anselmo, which of
+these is in danger, before I venture to gratify your wish, by complying
+with the detestable proposal you have made? Surely, neither; on the
+contrary, if I conceive you aright, you are desirous that I should
+indefatigably endeavour to deprive you, and myself also, of that very
+life and honour which it is my duty to preserve; for if I rob you of
+honour, I rob you of life; since a man without honour, is worse than
+dead, and I being the instrument, as you desire I should be, that
+entails such a curse upon you, shall not I be dishonoured, and of
+consequence dead to all enjoyment and fame. Listen with patience, my
+friend Anselmo, and make no answer until I shall have done with
+imparting the suggestions of my mind, concerning the strange proposal
+you have made; for there will be time enough for you to reply, and me to
+listen in my turn.”—“With all my heart,” cried Anselmo; “you may speak
+as long as you please.”
+
+‘Accordingly, Lothario proceeded, saying, “In my opinion, Anselmo, your
+disposition is at present like that of the Moors, who will not suffer
+themselves to be convicted of the errors of their sect, by quotations
+from the Holy Scripture, nor with arguments founded on speculation, or
+the articles of faith; but must be confuted or convinced by examples
+that are palpable, easy, familiar, and subject to the certainty of
+mathematical demonstration; for instance, if from equal parts, we take
+equal parts, those that remain are equal. And if they do not understand
+this proposition verbally, as is frequently the case, it must be
+explained and set before their eyes by manual operation, which is also
+insufficient to persuade them of the truth of our holy religion. The
+self-same method must I practise with you, whole desire deviates so far
+from every thing that bears the least shadow of reason, that I should
+look upon it as time misspent, to endeavour to convince you of your
+folly, which is the only name your intention seems to deserve. Nay, I am
+even tempted to leave you in your extravagancy, as a punishment for your
+preposterous desire; but I am prevented from using such rigour by my
+friendship, which will not permit me to desert you in such manifest
+danger of perdition. But, to make this affair still more plain, tell me,
+Anselmo, did not you desire me to solicit one that was reserved, seduce
+one that was chaste, make presents to one that was disinterested, and
+assiduously court one that was wise? Yes, such was your demand. If you
+are apprized, then, of the reserve, virtue, disinterestedness, and
+prudence of your wife, pray what is your aim? If you believe that she
+will triumph over all my assaults, as undoubtedly she will, what fairer
+titles can you bestow upon her, than those she possesses already? or how
+will she be more perfect after that trial, than she is at present? You
+either do not believe she is so virtuous as you have represented her, or
+know not the nature of your demand. If you think she is not so chaste as
+you have described her, you should not hazard the trial; but rather,
+according to the dictates of your own prudence, treat her as a vicious
+woman: if you are satisfied of her virtue, it would be altogether
+impertinent to make trial of that truth, which, from the test, can
+acquire no additional esteem. From whence we may reasonably conclude,
+that for men to execute designs which are clearly productive of more
+hurt than benefit, is the province of madness and temerity; especially,
+when they are not incited or compelled to these designs by any sort of
+consideration; but, on the contrary, may at a greater distance perceive
+the manifest madness of their intention. Difficulties are undertaken,
+either for the sake of God, of this world, or of both. The first are
+incurred by holy men, who live the life of angels here on earth; the
+second, by those who traverse the boundless ocean, visiting such a
+diversity of climates and nations, with a view of acquiring what are
+called the goods of fortune; and such undertakings as equally regard God
+and man, fall to the share of those valiant soldiers, who no sooner
+behold, in the wall of an adverse city, a breach, though no bigger than
+that which is made by a single cannon ball, than laying aside all fear,
+and overlooking with unconcern the manifest danger that menaces them,
+winged with desire of signalizing their valour in behalf of their king,
+country, and religion, throw themselves, with the utmost intrepidity,
+into the midst of a thousand deaths that oppose and await them. These
+are the enterprizes which are generally undertaken, and though full of
+peril and inconvenience, attended with glory, honour, and advantage; but
+that which you have planned, and purpose to put in execution, neither
+tends to your acquiring the approbation of God, the goods of fortune,
+nor the applause of mankind; for, granting that the experiment should
+succeed to your wish, it will make you neither more happy, rich, or
+respected than you are; and should it turn out contrary to your
+expectation, you will find yourself the most miserable of all mortals.
+It will then give you little ease to reflect, that your misfortune is
+unknown; for, the bare knowing it yourself, will be sufficient to plunge
+you in affliction and despair. As a confirmation of this truth, you must
+give me leave to repeat the following stanza, written by the celebrated
+poet Lewis Tansilo, at the end of the first part of the tears of St.
+Peter.
+
+ ‘“When Peter saw the approach of rosy morn,
+ His soul with sorrow and remorse was torn;
+ For, though from ev’ry mortal eye conceal’d,
+ The guilt to his own bosom stood reveal’d:
+ The candid breast will self-accusing, own
+ Each conscious fault, though to the world unknown,
+ Nor will th’ offender ’scape internal shame,
+ Tho’ unimpeach’d by justice or by fame.”
+
+‘“Wherefore, secresy will never assuage your grief; but, on the
+contrary, you will incessantly weep, not tears from your eyes, but drops
+of blood from your heart, like that simple doctor, whom our poet
+mentions[93], who made trial of the vessel, which the prudent Rinaldo,
+with more discretion, refused to touch; and although this be a poetical
+fiction, it nevertheless contains a well couched moral, worthy of
+notice, study and imitation; especially, as what I am going to say,
+will, I hope, bring you to a due sense of the great error you want to
+commit.
+
+‘“Tell me, Anselmo, if Heaven or good fortune had made you master and
+lawful possessor of an exquisite diamond, the brilliancy of which was
+admired by all the lapidaries who had seen it, and unanimously allowed
+to be the most perfect of its kind; an opinion, which, as you knew
+nothing to the contrary, was exactly conformable to your own; would it
+be wise or pardonable in you, to put that jewel betwixt an anvil and a
+hammer, and by mere dint of blows and strength of arm, try if it was as
+hard and perfect as it had been pronounced? for, supposing that the
+diamond should resist the force of this foolish experiment, it would
+thereby acquire no addition of value or fame; and, if it should be broke
+to pieces, a thing that might easily happen, would not all be lost? Yes,
+for certain; and the owner be universally deemed a fool. Consider, then,
+my friend, that Camilla is an exquisite diamond, not only in your
+estimation, but in that of every one who knows her; and it would be
+highly unreasonable to expose her to the least possibility of being
+broke; for, even should she remain intire, her reputation will receive
+no increase; but, should she fail in the trial, reflect upon what you
+must feel, and the reason you will then have to complain of yourself,
+for having been the fatal cause of her perdition and your own despair.
+Consider, that no jewel upon earth is comparable to a woman of virtue
+and honour; and, that the honour of the sex consists in the fair
+characters they maintain. Since, therefore, the reputation of your wife
+is already as high as it possibly can be, why would you bring this truth
+into question? Remember, my friend, that woman is an imperfect creature;
+and that, far from laying blocks in her way, over which she might
+stumble and fall, we ought to remove them with care, and clear her paths
+from all obstructions, that she may, without trouble, proceed smoothly,
+in attaining to that perfection which she may still want, namely,
+immaculate virtue. We are informed by naturalists, that the ermin is a
+little animal, covered with a furr of excessive whiteness, and that the
+hunters use this artifice to catch it: being well acquainted with the
+places through which it chuses to pass in its flight, they daub them all
+over with mud, and as soon as they get sight of the creature, drive it
+directly thither. The ermin finding himself thus barricadoed, stands
+still, and is taken; chusing captivity, rather than, by passing through
+the filth, to stain and sully the whiteness of its furr, which it prizes
+above liberty, and even life itself. A chaste and virtuous wife is like
+the ermin, her character being more pure and white than drifted snow;
+but he, who would guard and preserve it, must use a method quite
+different from that which is practised upon the little animal, and
+beware of clogging her way with the mud of entertainments, and the
+addresses of importunate lovers; lest, perhaps, (nay, without a perhaps)
+she should not possess such virtue and resolution as are sufficient of
+themselves to surmount those obstructions. It is therefore necessary to
+remove them, and place before her the purity of virtue, and the beauty
+of an unblemished reputation. A virtuous woman also resembles a bright
+transparent mirror, which is liable to be stained and obscured by the
+breath of those who approach too near it. A virtuous woman, like
+relicks, ought to be adored at a distance. She ought to be preserved and
+esteemed as a beautiful garden, full of flowers and roses, the owner of
+which will suffer nobody to handle them or pass through it, permitting
+them only to enjoy its fragrance and beauty afar off, through the iron
+rails that surround it. In fine, I will repeat a few verses that I just
+now recollect, from a modern comedy, because they seem to have been
+composed upon the very subject of our present discourse. A sage old man
+advising his friend, who is blessed with a handsome daughter, to lock
+her up, and watch over her with the utmost vigilance and care, among
+other reasons, cautions him with these—
+
+
+ I.
+
+ “Woman is form’d of brittle ware;
+ Then, wherefore rashly seek to know
+ What force, unbroken, she will bear,
+ And strike, perhaps, some fatal blow.
+
+ II.
+
+ “Though easily to fragments tore,
+ ’Twere equally absurd and vain,
+ To dash in pieces on the floor,
+ What never can be join’d again.
+
+ III.
+
+ “This maxim, then, by facts assur’d,
+ Should henceforth be espous’d by all;
+ Where’er a Danæ lies immur’d,
+ The tempting show’r of gold will fall.”
+
+‘“All that I have hitherto suggested, Anselmo, regards yourself; and now
+it is but reasonable you should hear something that concerns me; and if
+I should be prolix in my observations, you must excuse me, because it is
+absolutely necessary to expatiate on the subject, in order to extricate
+you from the labyrinth in which you are involved, and from which you
+desire to be disengaged by my assistance. You consider me as a friend,
+and yet seek to deprive me of my honour; a desire opposite to all
+friendship or regard; nay, even endeavour to make me rob you of your
+own. That you want to destroy mine, is plain; for Camilla, finding
+herself exposed to my solicitations, as you desire, will certainly look
+upon me as a man void of all principle and honour; because I attempt to
+succeed in a design so contrary to the dignity of my own character, and
+the friendship subsisting between us. That you desire I should rob you
+of yours, is not to be doubted; because, Camilla, seeing herself
+importuned by my addresses, will think I must have observed some levity
+in her conduct, which hath encouraged me to disclose my vicious
+inclinations, and think herself dishonoured accordingly; so that you
+will be as much concerned in her dishonour, as if it was your own. Hence
+springs the common observation, that the husband of a lewd woman, though
+he neither knows, nor hath given the least occasion for the misconduct
+of his wife, and though his misfortune was neither owing to his want of
+prudence or care, is, notwithstanding, pointed at, and distinguished by
+a name of scandal and reproach; being looked upon, by those who know the
+frailty of his wife, with an eye of disdain, instead of compassion,
+which he certainly deserves, as his disgrace proceeds not from any fault
+of his, but from the loose inclinations of his worthless spouse. I will
+now explain the reason, why the husband of a bad woman is justly
+dishonoured, though he neither knows, nor hath been in any shape
+accessary to her backslidings; and you must hear me with patience,
+because my remarks will, I hope, redound to your own advantage.
+
+‘“When God created our first parent in the terrestrial paradise, we are
+told, by the holy Scripture, that he was thrown into a deep sleep,
+during which, the Almighty took a rib from his left side, and of this
+Eve being formed, Adam no sooner awoke and beheld her, than he cried,
+‘_This creature is flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone._’ Nay, God
+himself pronounced, ‘_For this shall a man leave father and mother, and
+they two shall be one flesh._’ Then was instituted the divine sacrament
+of marriage, consisting of such ties as death alone can unbind; and
+endowed with such miraculous virtue and power, as to unite two different
+persons in one flesh; nay, what is still more wonderful, to combine two
+souls, so as to produce but one will; provided the union be happily
+effected. From hence it follows, that the flesh of the wife being the
+same with that of the husband, whatever stains or blemishes are imbibed
+by the first, must equally affect the other, although, as I have already
+observed, he is in no manner accessary to the misfortune. Wherefore, as
+the whole person is affected by the pain of the foot or any other member
+of the human body; and the head, though no way concerned in the cause,
+be a fellow-sufferer with the ancle when it is hurt; by the same rule,
+an husband, being a part of the same whole, must bear a share of his
+wife’s dishonour; for, as all the honours and disgraces of this life
+proceed from flesh and blood; the infamy of a vicious woman, being of
+the same origin, must be shared by her husband, who ought to be looked
+upon as a dishonoured person, though he be utterly ignorant of the
+guilt. Reflect, therefore, Anselmo, on the danger into which you bring
+yourself, by seeking to disturb the peace and tranquillity of your
+virtuous wife. Reflect upon the vanity and impertinence of that
+curiosity, which prompts you to awaken and stir up those humours, that
+now lie tamed and quiet in the bosom of your chaste spouse. Consider,
+that in this rash adventure, your gain must be very small, but your loss
+may be so great, that I leave it unmentioned, because I want words to
+express its estimation. On the whole, if what I have said be
+insufficient to divert you from your mischievous design, I desire you
+will chuse some other instrument of your misfortune and disgrace; for I
+will not undertake the office, though, by my refusal, I should even lose
+your friendship, which is dearer to me than any thing upon earth.”
+
+‘Here the virtuous and prudent Lothario left off speaking, and Anselmo
+remained in such confusion and perplexity, that, for some time, he could
+not answer one word; at length, however, he broke silence, saying, “I
+have listened, my friend Lothario, as you may have perceived, with great
+attention to all you had to say, and by your arguments, examples, and
+comparisons, am fully convinced, not only of your great discretion, but
+also of that perfection of friendship to which you have attained: I see
+also, and own, that in refusing your counsel, and following my own, I
+avoid the good and pursue the evil. This truth being acknowledged, you
+must consider me as a person afflicted with that infirmity, which
+induces some women to swallow earth, chalk, coals, and other things of a
+worse nature, which, if loathsome to the sight, how much more
+disagreeable must they be to the taste. Wherefore, there is an absolute
+necessity for using some method of cure, which you may easily effect, by
+beginning to solicit the love of Camilla, though coldly and feignedly;
+and, sure, she cannot be so frail as to surrender her virtue at the
+first encounter. With this slight attempt I shall rest satisfied, and
+you fulfil the duty of friendship, not only in giving me new life, but
+also in dissuading me from being the cause of my own dishonour. Nay, you
+are obliged to comply with my request, by this other consideration,
+that, determined as I am to put my design in execution, you ought not to
+allow me to communicate this extravagant resolution to any other person,
+lest I run the risk of losing that honour which you endeavour to
+preserve; and, as to your suffering in the opinion of Camilla, by
+attempting to seduce her, that is a reflection of small importance,
+because, when her integrity is proved, you can soon inform her of our
+whole contrivance; consequently, regain and repossess the former place
+you held in her esteem. Since, therefore, by adventuring so little, it
+is in your power to give me so much satisfaction; I hope, you will not
+refuse the office, even if it was attended with more inconvenience; for,
+I have already told you, that I shall look upon the affair as concluded,
+whenever you shall have made the first attempt.”
+
+‘Lothario seeing him fixed in his resolution, even after he had
+exhausted all his rhetorick to dissuade him from it; and fearing he
+would execute his threat of imparting his unhappy design to some other
+person, determined to prevent a greater misfortune, by complying with
+his desire; purposing, however, to manage the business in such a manner,
+as to satisfy Anselmo, without altering the sentiment of his wife. With
+this view, he told Anselmo that he should have no occasion to
+communicate his intention to any other man; for he, Lothario, would
+undertake the affair, and begin when he pleased. Anselmo, embracing his
+friend with great tenderness and affection, thanked him as much for his
+compliance, as if he had granted him some vast favour; and it was
+concerted between them, that Lothario should begin the enterprize the
+very next day, when Anselmo would give him time and opportunity of being
+alone with Camilla, that he might speak to her with freedom; and also
+supply him with money and jewels, that with such presents he might
+promote his suit; he, moreover, advised, him to attempt her by musick,
+and write verses in her praise; or, if that would be too much trouble
+for the gallant, he himself would compose them for the purpose. Lothario
+undertook every thing, but with a very different intention from what
+Anselmo supposed; and the agreement being made, they returned to the
+house of this last, where they found Camilla waiting with great anxiety,
+for her husband, who had that day tarried longer than usual abroad.
+Lothario soon after went home to his own lodgings, leaving his friend as
+happy as himself was perplexed how to contrive a scheme for bringing
+this affair to a fortunate issue; but that night he fell upon an
+expedient to deceive Anselmo, without giving offence to his wife.
+
+‘Next day he went to dine with his friend, and was very kindly received
+by Camilla, who entertained him with great cordiality, as her husband’s
+intimate companion. Dinner being ended, and the table withdrawn, Anselmo
+rising up, desired Lothario to stay with Camilla till his return from an
+indispensable piece of business, that would detain him an hour and a
+half. Camilla intreated him to defer it until another time, and Lothario
+offered to go along with him; but he was deaf to both, pressing Lothario
+to let him go, while he should wait at his house till he came back, for
+he wanted to talk with him upon a subject of the last importance; at the
+same time, desiring Camilla to keep Lothario company till his return; in
+short, he so well feigned the necessity, or rather folly of his absence,
+that nobody could have suspected the deceit. He accordingly went out,
+and left Camilla and his friend by themselves, for the rest of the
+family had gone to dinner; so that Lothario seeing himself within the
+lists, according to Anselmo’s desire, with his fair enemy, whose beauty
+alone was powerful enough to overcome a whole squadron of armed knights,
+it may be easily conceived what reason he had to fear, yet all he did
+was to lean his head on his hand, while his elbow rested upon the arm of
+the chair in which he sat, and after having begged pardon for his
+ill-manners, to tell Camilla he would take a nap till Anselmo’s return.
+She said he would be more at his ease in a couch than in the chair, and
+advised him to walk into a chamber where he would find one. This offer,
+however, he declined, and slept where he was till the return of his
+friend, who finding Camilla in her own apartment, and Lothario asleep,
+concluded that by his long stay he had given them time not only to
+speak, but also to take their repose, and was impatient for Lothario’s
+waking, that he might carry him out to walk, and enquire about his own
+fortune.
+
+‘Every thing succeeded to his wish; when his friend awoke, they went
+forth together, and he put every question to him that his curiosity
+suggested. Lothario answered, that thinking it improper to explain
+himself on the first occasion, he had done nothing but praised Camilla’s
+beauty, which, together with her discretion, he told her engrossed the
+conversation of the whole city; this he imagined was the most prudent
+beginning, as it might prepossess her in his favour, and dispose her to
+listen to him another time with pleasure; being the same artifice which
+is practised by the devil, who, when he would seduce those who are on
+their guard, transforms himself from an imp of darkness into an angel of
+light, and flattering them with specious appearances, at length
+discovers his cloven foot, and succeeds in his design, provided his
+deceit be not detected in the beginning. This declaration was altogether
+satisfactory to Anselmo, who said he would give him the same opportunity
+every day, without quitting the house, in which he would employ himself
+so artfully, that Camilla should never suspect his design. Many days
+passed, in which, though Lothario never opened his mouth on the subject
+to Camilla, he told Anselmo that he had made many efforts, but could
+never perceive in her the least tendency to weakness, or obtain the
+least shadow of hope; on the contrary, that she had threatened, if he
+did not lay aside the wicked design, to disclose the whole affair to her
+husband. “Very well,” said Anselmo, “hitherto she is proof against
+words, we must now try whether or not she can resist works also.
+Tomorrow you shall have two thousand crowns in gold, for a present to
+her; and as much more to purchase jewels, for a bait; these are things
+with which all beautiful women are captivated; for, be they ever so
+chaste, they love finery and gay apparel, if she withstands that
+temptation, I will rest satisfied and give you no farther trouble.”
+
+‘Lothario promised to go through with the enterprize, now that he had
+begun, though he was persuaded he should be fatigued and baffled in the
+execution. Next day he received four thousand crowns, and as many
+perplexities along with them; for he did not know what lye he should
+next invent; however, he determined to tell his friend, that Camilla was
+as invincible to presents as to words, and that he should give himself
+no farther vexation, since all his endeavours were thrown away to no
+purpose: but fortune, which conduced matters in another manner, ordained
+that Anselmo, one day, after having, according to custom, left Lothario
+and his wife by themselves, and gone to his own chamber, should peep
+through the key-hole, and listen to their conversation, it was then he
+perceived, that in half an hour and more, Lothario did not speak one
+word, neither would he have opened his mouth, had he remained a whole
+age in the same situation. From hence he concluded, that every thing his
+friend had told him of Camilla’s replies, was mere fiction; but, to be
+still more assured, he came out of his chamber, and calling Lothario
+aside, asked what news he had, and how Camilla stood affected to him? He
+replied, that he was resolved to drop the business entirely, for she had
+checked him with such bitterness and indignation, that he had no mind to
+return to the charge. “Ah, Lothario! Lothario!” said Anselmo, “how much
+you have failed in the duty of friendship, and abused the confidence I
+have reposed in your affection! I have been all this time looking
+through the key-hole of that door, and perceived that you have not
+spoken one word to Camilla, from whence I suspect that your first
+declaration is yet to come; and if that be the case, as without doubt it
+is, wherefore have you thus deceived me; and in so doing, prevented me
+from other means to satisfy my desire?” He said no more, but this was
+sufficient to cover Lothario with shame and confusion; who, thinking his
+honour concerned in being convicted of a lye, swore to Anselmo, he would
+from that moment take the charge of giving him the satisfaction he
+required, without the least equivocation, as he might perceive by
+watching him narrowly; though there would be no occasion for using such
+diligence, because his future behaviour in that affair would acquit him
+of all suspicion.
+
+‘Anselmo gave credit to his protestation; and, that his opportunities
+might be more secure, and less subject to interruption, resolved to
+absent himself from his own house for eight days, during which he
+proposed to visit a friend who lived in a village not far from the city;
+and whom he desired to invite him to his house with the most earnest
+intreaties, that he might excuse himself to Camilla for his absence.
+Unfortunate and imprudent Anselmo! what art thou doing? what art thou
+contriving and concerting? Consider that thou art acting against
+thyself, planning thy own dishonour and perdition. Your wife Camilla is
+virtuous and sober, and you possess her at present in quiet, enjoying
+uninterrupted pleasure; her inclinations never ramble beyond the walls
+of your own house; you are her paradise upon earth, the goal of her
+desires, the accomplishment of her wishes, and the standard by which she
+measures her will, adjusting it in all respects according to your
+pleasure and the directions of Heaven. Since the mine of her honour,
+beauty, modesty, and virtue, yields thee, without trouble, all the
+riches which it contains, or thou canst desire; why wouldst thou, by
+digging in search of a new and unheard-of treasure, risk the fall or
+destruction of the whole, which is sustained by the feeble props of
+female constancy? Remember it is but just, that he who builds on
+impossibilities should be denied the privilege of any other foundation;
+as the poet hath better expressed it in the following couplets—
+
+ ‘“In death I sought new life to find,
+ And health, where pale distemper pin’d:
+ I look’d for freedom in the gaol,
+ And faith, where perjuries prevail;
+ But Fate supreme, whose stern decree
+ To sorrow match’d my destiny,
+ All possible relief withdrew,
+ Because th’impossible I kept in view.”
+
+‘Next day Anselmo went to the country, after having told Camilla, that
+in his absence Lothario would take charge of the family, and dine with
+her every day; he therefore desired her to treat him with all the
+respect due to his own person. Camilla, being a woman of honour and
+discretion, was disgusted at this order, and bade him consider how
+unseemly it was for another man to sit at the head of his table in his
+absence; at the same time begging, that if his directions proceeded from
+his diffidence in her capacity, he would for once put her management to
+the trial, and be convinced by experience, that she was equal to a more
+important charge. Anselmo replied, that such was his pleasure, and her
+province was to bow the head and obey; upon which, she, though
+unwillingly, submitted. Next day he set out accordingly, and Lothario
+went to his house, where he met with a very kind and honourable
+reception from Camilla, who never gave him an opportunity of being alone
+with her, but was always surrounded by her servants, generally attended
+by her own maid, whose name was Leonela, for whom her mistress had a
+particular affection, because they had been brought up together from
+their infancy, in the house of Camilla’s parents; and when she married
+Anselmo, she accompanied her to his house in quality of waiting-woman.
+
+‘During the first three days Lothario did not declare himself, although
+he had opportunities immediately after the table was uncovered, while
+the servants were at dinner, which Camilla always ordered them to finish
+with all expedition. Nay, she gave directions to Leonela, to dine every
+day before the cloth was laid for herself, that she might always be in
+waiting; but her maid’s thoughts were too much engrossed by her own
+amusements, the enjoyment of which required such time and opportunity,
+as often hindered her from obeying the commands of her mistress, so that
+she frequently behaved as if she had received orders to leave them
+alone; but the dignified presence of Camilla, the gravity of her
+countenance, and awfulness of person, were such as effectually bridled
+Lothario’s tongue: yet the energy of virtue, in having this very effect,
+redounded the more to the disadvantage of them both; for, though his
+tongue was restricted, his thoughts had a full and free opportunity of
+contemplating at leisure the charms both of her mind and person, which
+were sufficient to captivate not only an heart of flesh, but even a
+statue of stone.
+
+‘Lothario, by gazing at her during those opportunities, beheld how
+worthy she was to be beloved; and this conviction began gradually to sap
+his regard for his friend, so that he made a thousand resolutions to
+quit the city, and go where he should never more be seen by Anselmo, or
+be exposed to danger from the beauty of his wife; but all these were
+baffled by the pleasure he had already felt, in seeing and admiring her
+charms; he constrained himself, and combated his own inclinations, in
+order to expel and efface that satisfaction: when he was alone he
+condemned his own madness, and reproached himself as a false friend and
+worthless Christian; he made a thousand reflections and comparisons
+between himself and Anselmo; and they all terminated in this conclusion,
+that the madness and rash confidence of his friend greatly exceeded his
+own infidelity, and that if he could excuse himself to Heaven, for what
+he intended to do, as easily as to mankind, he had no reason to dread
+any punishment for the crime. In short, the beauty and other
+accomplishments of Camilla, together with the opportunity which the
+ignorant husband put into his hands, entirely overthrew the integrity of
+Lothario; who, giving way at once to the dictates of his passion, began
+at the end of three days, during which he had been at continual war with
+his desires, to address himself to Camilla with such disorder and
+amorous discourse, that she was utterly astonished, and rising up went
+to her own chamber without answering one word. But this coyness did not
+abate Lothario’s hope, which always increases with a man’s love; on the
+contrary, he redoubled his efforts: while she, perceiving him behave so
+wide of expectation, did not well know what conduct to espouse; but,
+thinking it would be both unseemly and unsafe in her, to grant him
+another opportunity, she determined that very night to send a message to
+her husband, and actually dispatched a servant to him with the following
+letter.
+
+Footnote 93:
+
+ Ludovico Ariosto, author of Orlando Furioso, to which poem Cervantes
+ frequently alludes. Here, however, he seems to have forgot the passage
+ he meant to cite; for the person who proffered the cup to Rinaldo, was
+ no doctor. In Canto 43, of the Orlando Furioso, mention is made,
+ indeed, of one Anselmo, who was a Doctor of Law, but not at all
+ concerned in the inchanted cup: yet it must be owned, that Dr. Anselmo
+ had recourse to an astrologer, in order to know whether his wife
+ preserved her chastity in his absence.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VII.
+ THE CONTINUATION OF THE NOVEL CALLED THE IMPERTINENT CURIOSITY.
+
+
+‘“It is a common observation, that an army without a general, and a
+garrison without a chief, make but a very indifferent appearance; but I
+say, that a young married woman without a husband makes a worse,
+especially when his absence is not the effect of absolute necessity; for
+my own part, I find myself so uneasy, and unable to support our
+separation, that if you do not return immediately, I must go and pass my
+time at my father’s house, though I should leave yours without a guard;
+for I believe he that you left, if he was designed for that purpose,
+hath more regard to his own pleasure than to your advantage; and since
+you are wise, I have nothing more to say, nor is it proper I should.”
+
+‘When Anselmo received this letter, he was convinced that Lothario had
+began the enterprize, and that his wife had behaved according to his
+wish; rejoiced beyond measure at this information, he answered by a
+verbal message, that she should by no means leave the house, for he
+would return in a very little time. Camilla was astonished at this
+reply, which perplexed her more than ever, as she durst neither stay in
+her own house, nor go to her father’s; for, in staying at home, she
+endangered her honour, and in going to her parents she transgressed the
+commands of her husband. In fine, she resolved upon that which was worst
+of all, namely to remain where she was, determined not to avoid
+Lothario, that the servants might not observe her situation; and she was
+already sorry for what she had written to Anselmo, being afraid he would
+imagine Lothario had perceived some levity in her conduct, which
+encouraged him to lay aside the decorum he ought to have preserved.
+Confident of her own virtue, she trusted to God and her conscious
+prudence, by the help of which she thought she could in silence refill
+all the felicitations of Lothario, without giving her husband any
+farther information, lest it should involve him in some trouble or
+dangerous dispute; nay, she was even industrious in inventing some
+excuse for Lothario, in case Anselmo should ask the reason that induced
+her to write such a letter.
+
+‘With these sentiments, which were more honourable than prudent and
+advantageous, she next day sat listening to Lothario, who exerted
+himself in such a manner, as to shake her fortitude, which, with all her
+virtue, was barely sufficient to hinder her eyes from giving manifest
+indications of the amorous compassion that his tears and addresses had
+awakened in her breast. All this tenderness, which Lothario observed,
+inflamed his passion the more; and thinking there was a necessity for
+shortening the siege, while this opportunity of Anselmo’s absence
+lasted, he assaulted her pride with the praises of her beauty; for
+nothing sooner succeeds in overthrowing the embattled towers of female
+vanity, than vanity itself, employed by the tongue of adulation: in
+short, he so assiduously undermined the fortress of her virtue, and
+plied it with such irresistible engines, that though she had been made
+of brass, she must have surrendered at mercy. He wept, intreated,
+promised, flattered, feigned, and importuned, with such earnest
+expressions of love, as conquered all her reserve; at last he obtained a
+compleat triumph, which, though what he least expected, was what of all
+things he most ardently desired; she yielded—the chaste Camilla yielded!
+But what wonder? since even Lothario’s friendship gave way: a clear and
+incontestible proof, that love is to be conquered by flight alone; and
+that no person whatever ought to engage such a powerful adversary, hand
+to hand, because nothing but force divine can subdue that human power.
+
+‘Leonela alone was privy to the weakness of her mistress, which the two
+new lovers and false friends could not possibly conceal from her
+knowledge; and Lothario did not chuse to tell Camilla the contrivance of
+Anselmo, who had given him the opportunity of accomplishing his design;
+that she might not undervalue his love, by supposing that he courted her
+by accident, without being at first really enamoured of her charms.
+Anselmo returning in a few days, did not perceive the loss of that,
+which, though he preserved with the least care, he prized above all
+other possessions; but going in quest of Lothario, whom he found in his
+own lodging, after a mutual embrace, he desired he would tell him the
+news that must determine his life or death. “The news which I have to
+give you, my friend,” said Lothario, “are these; you have a wife who
+truly deserves to be the pattern and queen of all good women. The
+expressions I used to her were spent in the air, my promises were
+despised, my presents rejected, and some tears that I feigned, most
+heartily ridiculed; in short, Camilla is the sum of all beauty, and the
+casket in which are deposited honour, affability, modesty, and all the
+qualifications that dignify and adorn a woman of virtue. Here, take back
+your money, which I have had no occasion to use: the chastity of your
+spouse is not to be shaken by such mean considerations as those of
+promises and presents; be satisfied, Anselmo, and make no more
+unprofitable trials; since you have dry-shod crossed the sea of those
+doubts and suspicions which are and may be entertained of women, seek
+not to plunge yourself anew into the dangerous gulf of fresh
+difficulties, by using another pilot to make a second trial of the
+strength and tightness of the vessel which you have received from Heaven
+to perform the voyage of this life, but consider yourself as in a safe
+harbour, where you ought to secure yourself with the anchor of sound
+reflection, and remain until you are called upon to pay that tax from
+which no human rank can exempt you.”
+
+‘Anselmo was infinitely rejoiced at this information of Lothario, which
+he believed as implicitly as if it had been pronounced by an oracle;
+but, nevertheless, he besought him to continue his addresses, merely for
+curiosity and amusement, though not with the same eagerness and
+diligence which he had used before; he desired him to write verses in
+praise of Camilla, under the name of Chloris, promising to tell his
+wife, that he, Lothario, was in love with a lady whom he celebrated
+under that fictitious name, in order to preserve the decorum due to her
+character; and he assured him, that if Lothario did not chuse to take
+the trouble of making verses, he himself would compose them for the
+occasion. “You shall not need,” said Lothario; “the muses are not quite
+so averse, but they visit me sometimes: you may tell Camilla what you
+have mentioned, concerning my pretended love; and as for the verses, if
+not adequate to the subject, they shall at all events be the best I can
+make.”
+
+‘This agreement being concerted between the impertinent husband and
+treacherous friend, Anselmo returned to his own house, and asked
+Camilla, what she wondered he had not mentioned before; namely, the
+meaning of that letter which she had dispatched to him in the country.
+She answered, that she then fancied Lothario looked at her with more
+freedom than he used to take when Anselmo was at home: but now she was
+undeceived, and convinced of it’s being no more than mere imagination,
+for he had of late avoided all occasions of being alone with her.
+Anselmo said she might make herself entirely easy, from that quarter;
+for he knew that Lothario was in love with a lady of fashion in the
+city, whom he celebrated under the name of Chloris; and even, if he was
+free of any such engagements, there was nothing to be feared from the
+honour of Lothario, and the friendship subsisting between them. If
+Camilla had not been previously advertised by her secret gallant, of
+this supposed love of Chloris, with which he intended to hoodwink her
+husband, that he might sometimes indulge himself in her own praise,
+under the cover of that name, she would, without doubt, have been
+distracted with jealousy; but thus instructed, she heard him without
+surprize or concern.
+
+‘Next day, while they were at dinner, Anselmo intreated his friend to
+repeat some of the verses he had composed in praise of Chloris, who
+being utterly unknown to Camilla, he might securely say what he pleased.
+“Tho’ she were of her acquaintance,” answered Lothario, “I should not
+think myself bound to conceal my passion; for, when a lover praises the
+beauty, and at the same time bewails the cruelty of his mistress, her
+reputation can suffer no prejudice; but, be that as it will, I own, I
+yesterday wrote a song on the ingratitude of Chloris, which you shall
+hear.
+
+
+ I.
+
+ “When night extends her silent reign,
+ ”And sleep vouchsafes the world to bless,
+ “To Heav’n and Chloris I complain
+ ”Of dire and affluent distress.
+
+
+ II.
+
+ “When Phœbus, led by rosy morn,
+ ”At first, his radiant visage shews,
+ “With tears, and sighs, and groans forlorn,
+ ”My soul the bitter plaint renews.
+
+
+ III.
+
+ “When from his bright meridian throne,
+ ”The dazzling rays descend amain,
+ “With aggravated grief I moan,
+ ”And night brings back the woeful strain,
+ “Thus, to my vows and pray’rs, I find,
+ ”My Chloris deaf, and Heav’n unkind.“
+
+‘The song was approved by Camilla, and much more so by her husband, who
+applauded it to the skies, and observed that the lady must be
+excessively cruel, who could resist such a true and pathetick complaint.
+“What!” said Camilla, “is every thing true that we are told by the poets
+when they are in love?”—“What they rehearse as poets,” answered
+Lothario, “is not always truth; but what they affirm as lovers, is
+always from the heart.”—“You are certainly in the right,” replied
+Anselmo, with a view of supporting and giving sanction to Lothario’s
+sentiments, in the opinion of Camilla, whose indifference about her
+husband’s artifice was now equal to her love for his pretended friend.
+Pleased therefore with his performances, because she very well knew that
+his inclinations and compositions were inspired by, and addressed to
+her, who was the true Chloris, she desired him, if he had any more songs
+or verses, to repeat them. “I have another,” said Lothario, “but I
+believe it is not so good; or, rather, it is less tolerable than the
+last. However, you shall judge for yourself; here it is.”
+
+
+ I.
+
+ “Yes, cruel maid! I welcome death,
+ ”And tho’ I perish undeplor’d,
+ “Thy beauty with my latest breath,
+ ”Shall be applauded and ador’d.
+
+
+ II.
+
+ “Tho’ lost in dark oblivion’s shade,
+ ”Bereft of favour, life, and fame,
+ “My faithful heart, when open laid,
+ ”Will shew thine image and thy name.
+
+
+ III.
+
+ “These reliques I preserve with care,
+ ”My comfort in disastrous fate;
+ “For, steel’d and whetted by despair,
+ ”My love new force acquires from hate.
+ “Unhappy those! who, darkling, sail
+ ”Where stars, and ports, and pilots sail.“
+
+‘This song was commended as much as the first, by Anselmo, who in this
+manner added link to link of the chain with which he enslaved himself,
+and secured his own dishonour: for then Lothario disgraced him most,
+when he thought himself most honoured, and every step that Camilla
+descended towards the very center of contempt, she, in the opinion of
+her husband, mounted to the very summit of virtuous reputation. About
+this time, happening to be alone with her maid, “I am ashamed, dear
+Leonela,” said she, “when I consider how I have undervalued myself; for
+I ought to have made Lothario employ a great deal of time in purchasing
+the entire possession of my favours, which I so willingly surrendered at
+once; and I am afraid that he will look upon my sudden yielding as the
+effect of levity, without reflecting upon the violence of his own
+addresses, which it was impossible to resist.”—“Let not that give you
+the least disturbance, Madam,” answered Leonela, “for there is no reason
+why a thing should lose its estimation, by being freely given, if it is
+actually good in its kind and worthy of esteem; nay, it is a common
+saying, That he who gives freely, gives twice.”—“There is also another
+common observation,” replied Camilla, “That which is easily got is
+little valued.”—“You are not at all affected by that observation,”
+resumed Leonela, “for love, they say, sometimes flies, sometimes walks,
+runs with one, creeps with another, warms a third, burns a fourth,
+wounding some, and slaying others. In one moment it begins, performs,
+and concludes its career; lays siege in the morning to a fortress, which
+is surrendered before night, there being no fortress that can withstand
+its power. This being the case, what cause have you to be alarmed or
+afraid? This was the power that assisted Lothario, by making use of my
+master’s absence, as the instrument of his success; and what love had
+determined, must of necessity have been concluded during that period,
+before Anselmo could, by his return, prevent the perfection of the work.
+Opportunity is the best minister for executing the designs of love; and
+is employed in all his undertakings, especially in the beginning of
+them. This I know to be true, more by experience than hearsay; and I
+shall one day tell you, Madam, that I am a girl of flesh and blood, as
+well as your ladyship. Besides, your ladyship did not yield until you
+had discerned in the looks, sighs, protestations, promises, and presents
+of Lothario, his whole soul undisguised, and adorned with such virtues
+as rendered him worthy of your love. Let not, therefore, these
+scrupulous and whining reflections harrass your imagination; but assure
+yourself, that Lothario’s love and yours are mutual: so that you may
+think yourself extremely happy, in being caught in the amorous snare by
+a man of worth and honour, who not only possesses the four qualities
+beginning with S[94], which ought to be the case of all true lovers, but
+also a whole alphabet of accomplishments. Listen, and you shall hear how
+cleverly I will recount them. He is, in my simple opinion, amiable,
+benevolent, courageous, diverting, enamoured, firm, gay, honourable,
+illustrious, loyal, mettlesome, noble, obedient, princely, qualified,
+rich, and the S. S. as I have already observed. Then, he is trusty,
+vigilant; the X does not suit him, because it is a harsh letter; Y
+stands for youth, and Z for zeal, in his attachment to you.”
+
+‘Camilla laughed at the alphabet of her maid, whom she found more
+knowing in the affairs of love than she pretended to be; and this
+knowledge indeed she confessed, disclosing to her mistress an intrigue
+that she carried on with a young man of a good family in town. Camilla
+was disturbed at this information, fearing that her honour ran some risk
+from their correspondence; and when she pressed her to confess, whether
+or not it had been brought to the last extremity, she, without the least
+symptom of shame, answered in the affirmative; for, it is very certain,
+that the failings of mistresses divest their servants of all modesty;
+because, seeing their ladies trip, they think themselves intitled to
+halt, without being at the trouble to conceal their defect. Camilla,
+thus circumstanced, could fall upon no other expedient than that of
+cautioning her maid against betraying her to the person who was her
+gallant, and beseeching her to keep her own intrigue secret, that it
+might not fall under the observation of Anselmo and Lothario.
+
+‘Leonela promised to be upon her guard, but managed her affairs with so
+little discretion, that she confirmed Camilla in the apprehension of
+losing her reputation by the carelessness of her maid; for the bold and
+immodest Leonela, seeing that her lady’s conduct was not the same as
+formerly, had the assurance to introduce and conceal her lover in the
+house, conscious, that although her mistress should perceive, she durst
+not detect him in that situation. Among other disadvantages incurred by
+these slips of women of fashion, they become slaves to their own
+servants, and find themselves obliged to connive at their impudence and
+vice.
+
+‘This was the very case of Camilla, who, though she more than once
+observed Leonela engaged with her gallant, in one of the chambers, far
+from reprimanding her on that score, she gave opportunities of
+concealing him, and did all she could to prevent his being seen by her
+husband. But all their caution could not screen him from the notice of
+Lothario; who, perceiving him come out of the house, one morning at
+break of day, and not knowing who he was, at first mistook him for a
+phantom; but seeing him run away, and seek to hide himself with care and
+concern, he soon changed that simple opinion for another, which would
+have ruined them all, had not Camilla found out an expedient to prevent
+their destruction. He was so far from thinking, that this man whom he
+saw coming out of Anselmo’s house, at such an unseasonable hour, had
+gone in on Leonela’s account, that he did not even remember there was
+such a person in the world; on the contrary, he was firmly persuaded,
+that Camilla, who yielded so easily to his addresses, had acted in the
+same manner to some other person; for this additional misfortune attends
+a loose woman, that she loses her credit even with the man by whose
+importunities and intreaties her honour has subdued. Nay, he believes,
+that she will be more easily won by another than by him, and implicitly
+credits every suspicion that may arise from that unjust inference. On
+this occasion, Lothario’s good sense failed, and all his caution seemed
+to vanish; since, regardless of every thing that was right or
+reasonable, without farther examination, he hied him to Anselmo before
+he was up, where, impatient and blind with the jealous fury that preyed
+upon his entrails, and inflamed with the desire of being revenged upon
+Camilla, who had given him no offence, he expressed himself thus.
+
+‘“You must know, Anselmo, that for some days past, I have had a
+continual struggle with myself, endeavouring to suppress that which I no
+longer either can or ought to conceal from your knowledge. The fortress
+of Camilla is at last surrendered, and submitted entirely to the
+dominion of my will. This I have delayed imparting to you, until I
+should be certain whether her compliance was owing to some transient
+flash of affection, or to the desire of trying the sincerity of those
+addresses which, by your own direction, were carried on; and I likewise
+concluded, that if she was a woman of honour and virtue as we both
+imagined, she would ere now have given you an account of my
+solicitation. But finding that still undone, I take it for granted she
+means to keep her promise of giving me an interview in the wardrobe, the
+very next time you go to the country; (and here it was where Camilla
+actually used to entertain him) but I should not wish that you would run
+precipitately into any scheme of vengeance. However, as the crime is
+committed in thought only, before an opportunity offers of performing
+that promise, Camilla may change her mind, and repent of her weakness.
+Wherefore, as you have hitherto, in whole or in part, followed my
+advice, I hope you will treasure up and observe one which I shall now
+offer, that you may, without the least possibility of being deceived,
+carefully and cautiously satisfy yourself, so as to take such measures
+as your prudence shall suggest. You may pretend that you are going, as
+usual, for two or three days to the country, and in the mean time
+conceal yourself in the wardrobe, where you will find tapestry and
+plenty of other things for the purpose; from thence you, with your own
+eyes, as I with mine, will observe the conduct of Camilla, and if
+unhappily you should find more cause to fear than to hope, you may in
+person revenge your own wrongs, with silence, safety, and discretion.”
+
+‘Anselmo was thunderstruck at this declaration of Lothario, which came
+upon him when he least expected it; for he already looked upon Camilla
+as a conqueror in the fictitious assaults of his friend, and had
+actually began to enjoy the glory of her triumph. After having stood
+silent for a long time, with his eyes fixed upon the ground, “Lothario,”
+said he, “you have acted up to the expectation of my friendship: I will
+adhere to your advice in every thing; do what you please; I hope you
+will keep this unexpected affair as secret as the nature of it
+requires.”
+
+‘His false friend promised to observe the caution; but soon as he
+quitted the apartment, repented of every thing he had said, reflecting
+how foolishly he had proceeded, and that he might have punished Camilla
+by means less cruel and dishonourable. He cursed his own folly,
+condemned his precipitation, and endeavoured to find out some expedient
+to undo what he had done, or at least bring it to some favourable issue.
+At length, he resolved to disclose the whole to Camilla, as there wanted
+not opportunities of being with her alone; and that very day being
+together, she made use of the first that happened, addressing herself to
+him in this manner. “Know, my dear Lothario, that my heart is ready to
+burst with one affliction, which is so grievous that it will be a wonder
+if I survive it: Leonela is arrived to such a pitch of impudence, that
+every night she introduces a gallant into the house, and remains with
+him till morning, very much at the expence of my reputation, as the
+field is left open for any malicious construction, upon seeing a man
+come out of my house at such unseasonable hours; and the misfortune is,
+I dare neither chide nor chastise her for her audacity; for her being
+privy to our correspondence puts a bridle in my mouth, obliging me to be
+silent on the subject of her folly, from which I fear some mischance
+will befal us.”
+
+‘When Camilla began this discourse, Lothario imagined it was an artifice
+to deceive and persuade him that the man he had seen coming out of the
+house had been there on Leonela’s account only; but, seeing his mistress
+weep, and in the utmost affection entreat him to find out some remedy
+for this inconvenience, he was convinced of the truth, and covered with
+shame and remorse for what he had done; nevertheless, he desired Camilla
+to make herself easy, and promised to fall upon some method to curb
+Leonela’s insolence. He then told her what, instigated by the rage of
+jealousy, he had disclosed to Anselmo, who by his appointment was to
+conceal himself in the wardrobe, that he might have an incontestible
+proof of her infidelity: he begged pardon for his madness, with advice
+how to remedy it, and to extricate himself from the labyrinth in which
+he was involved by his own imprudence. Camilla was astonished at the
+discourse of Lothario, whom she chid and reprimanded with great reason
+and resentment, for the groundless suspicion which had driven him to
+such a mad and mischievous resolution; but women having naturally more
+invention than men can boast of, either for a good or bad occasion,
+though sometimes they fail in premeditated schemes, Camilla instantly
+thought of a cure for this seemingly incurable dilemma, and bade
+Lothario prevail upon her husband to conceal himself in the appointed
+place, the very next day; for she hoped to reap such advantage from his
+concealment, as that for the future they should enjoy each other without
+the least fear or interruption. She, therefore, without disclosing to
+her lover the whole of her plan, desired him to take care, when Anselmo
+was hid, to come at Leonela’s call, and answer every question she should
+ask, in the same manner as he would reply if he did not know that her
+husband was within hearing. Lothario insisted upon knowing the
+particulars of her scheme, that he might with more security and success
+perform his cue; but Camilla assured him he had nothing to do but answer
+her questions with truth and sincerity; being unwilling to make him
+previously acquainted with her design, lest he should disapprove of that
+which to her seemed so necessary, and recommend another which perhaps
+she might not think so effectual. Accordingly, Lothario took his leave,
+and next day Anselmo, under pretence of going to his friend’s
+country-house, set out, but soon returned to his hiding-place; Camilla
+and her maid having purposely given him an opportunity of getting in
+unseen. There he remained in a state of perturbation, which may be
+easily conceived to harrass the breast of a man who expected to see with
+his own eyes the bowels of his honour dissected, and found himself on
+the brink of losing that supreme bliss which he thought he possessed in
+his beloved Camilla.
+
+‘She and her maid, by this time, certified of his being there, went to
+the wardrobe, which Camilla no sooner entered, than heaving a profound
+sigh, “Dear Leonela,” said she, “rather than execute the design which I
+conceal from your knowledge, that you may not endeavour to prevent it,
+would it not be better for you to take this poignard of Anselmo, and
+plunge it in my unfortunate bosom? Yet do not, Leonela; for it were
+unreasonable that I should be punished for another’s crime; I want first
+to know what the daring and licentious eyes of Lothario have discerned
+in my conduct, that should encourage him to declare a passion so guilty
+as that which he hath owned, so much to my dishonour and the prejudice
+of his friend. Go to that window, Leonela, and beckon to him, for
+doubtless he is now in the street, expecting to succeed in his wicked
+intention; but I shall first execute mine, which is equally honourable
+and severe.”—“Alas, Madam!” answered the cunning and well-instructed
+Leonela, “how do you intend to use that fatal poignard? are you
+determined to take away your own life, or that of Lothario? by
+sacrificing either the one or the other, you will entirely ruin your own
+reputation. You should rather stifle your wrongs, than give that wicked
+wretch an opportunity of finding us here alone; consider, Madam, that we
+are but weak women, and he a determined man, who, blinded by his guilty
+passion, may by force deprive you of that which you value more than
+life, before you can execute your purpose upon him. A plague upon my
+master Anselmo, for allowing that impudent fellow to be so free in his
+house! besides, Madam, should you kill him, as I believe you intend to
+do, what shall we do with him after he is dead?”—“Nothing, my friend,”
+replied Camilla, “but let Anselmo bury him; for he ought to take
+pleasure in the task of interring his own infamy. Go and beckon to him,
+I say, for every moment I delay my just revenge seems to injure afresh
+that fidelity which I owe to my husband.”
+
+‘All this conversation was overheard by Anselmo, whose sentiments were
+entirely changed by what Camilla said; and when he understood that she
+intended to kill Lothario, he was inclined to come out and discover
+himself, in order to prevent the deed; but he was diverted from that
+resolution by the desire of seeing the issue of his wife’s gallant and
+virtuous determination; purposing, however, to appear seasonably enough
+for the safety of his friend.
+
+‘About this time Camilla throwing herself upon a couch, was seized with
+a violent fit, during which Leonela wept bitterly, exclaiming, “Ah, woe
+is me! must I then see, expiring in these unfortunate arms, the flower
+of human virtue, the queen of excellent wives, the pattern of chastity!”
+with other epithets of the same kind, which nobody could have heard,
+without esteeming her the most faithful and afflicted damsel upon earth,
+and her mistress another persecuted Penelope. Camilla, having soon
+recovered from her fit, said to her woman, “Why don’t you go and call
+this the most faithful friend that ever was seen by the day, or shrouded
+by the night? Make haste; go, run, fly; let not the fire of my rage be
+consumed by your delay, and the just vengeance I mean to take evaporate
+in curses and unsubstantial threats.”—“I go,” answered Leonela, “but you
+must first give me that poignard, lest, in my absence, you do a deed to
+make all those who love you weep to the end of their lives.”—“Go, dear
+Leonela,” replied her mistress, “and fear nothing; for although, in your
+opinion, I may be rash and even unreasonable, in thus resenting the
+affront upon my honour; I shall not behave like that Lucretia, who, ’tis
+said, killed herself, though innocent, without having first punished the
+villainous cause of her misfortune. If I must die, I will at least fall
+fully revenged of him who is the occasion of my being here, to bewail
+his audacious behaviour, which, I am sure, proceeded from no misconduct
+of mine.”
+
+‘Many intreaties did she use, before Leonela would go and call Lothario,
+but at length she prevailed; the maid went out to seek him, and, in her
+absence, Camilla uttered the following soliloquy. “Good Heaven! would it
+not have been more prudent to dismiss Lothario as usual, than to give
+him this occasion of thinking me vicious and immodest, even though that
+opinion can only last until I have an opportunity of undeceiving him?
+Yes, certainly; but I shall not think myself revenged, nor the honour of
+my husband sufficiently vindicated, if he escapes so smooth and clean
+from this snare into which his wicked inclinations have decoyed him. Let
+the traitor pay with his life for the enterprize of his lascivious
+desire; the world shall know, if even the affair be made publick, that
+Camilla not only preserved her affection for her husband inviolate, but
+also took vengeance on the man who thought to impair it. Yet, methinks,
+I ought to disclose the whole to Anselmo; but I have already touched
+upon the subject, in the letter I sent to him when he was in the
+country; and his omitting to apply a remedy to the evil I then hinted
+at, must certainly be owing to his own integrity and unsuspecting heart,
+which would not suffer him to believe, that the breast of such a
+constant friend could harbour one thought to the prejudice of his
+honour; indeed, this was my own opinion, until his behaviour became
+intolerably licentious, and his presents, promises, and tears, fully
+manifested his guilty purpose. But, wherefore these reflections? does a
+gallant resolution stand in need of hesitating advice? No! traitor,
+avaunt! hither vengeance! enter, thou false, perfidious wretch, come,
+quick, be speedy, die, and let the consequence be what it will! Pure and
+unspotted I came into the possession of him whom Heaven appointed to be
+my husband and my lord, and equally pure shall I leave his embrace,
+though bathed in my own chaste blood, and embrued in the tainted gore of
+the falsest friend that ever friendship saw!” So saying, she brandished
+the drawn dagger in her hand, and stalked across the room with such
+disordered steps and violent gestures, that she seemed to have lost her
+senses, and looked more like a desperate ruffian than a delicate wife.
+
+‘All this transport and agitation was perceived, with astonishment, by
+Anselmo, where he stood concealed behind the tapestry; he thought he had
+now seen and heard enough to dispel suspicions of a stronger kind than
+those he entertained; and even wished that the proof might proceed no
+farther, by Lothario’s failing to keep the appointment; for he was
+afraid that some sudden unlucky accident might happen. Being therefore
+on the point of shewing himself, and running to embrace and undeceive
+his wife, he was prevented by seeing Leonela return with his friend,
+whom Camilla no sooner beheld, than drawing a line before her, with the
+dagger, she said, “Take notice, Lothario, if you attempt to pass this
+line, or even approach it, the moment I perceive your intention, I will
+plunge the poignard in my breast. Without offering the least reply,
+therefore, to this declaration, I desire you will listen to some
+questions I mean to ask, which you may answer as you shall think proper;
+in the first place, tell me, Lothario, if you know my husband Anselmo,
+and what station he maintains in your opinion? and then be as explicit
+in your sentiments of me; answer without perturbation or difficulty, for
+the questions I ask are easily solved.”
+
+‘Lothario was not so ignorant, but that he had conceived her design,
+from the moment of her desiring him to advise Anselmo to conceal
+himself; and therefore his replies were so seasonable, and corresponded
+so exactly with her aim, that this fiction had all the air of the most
+genuine truth. “Beauteous Camilla,” said he, “I did not imagine you had
+sent for me with a view of asking questions so foreign to the purpose
+for which I come; if you meant to delay the promised bliss, you might
+have protracted the assignation to a more distant term; for, the nearer
+the prospect of enjoyment is, the more grievous will the disappointment
+be: but that you may have no cause to complain of my refusing to answer
+your demands, I will own that I know your husband Anselmo, with whom I
+have been intimate from our most tender years. Of the friendship (as you
+know) subsisting between us, I will say nothing, that I may not bear
+witness to the wrong which love, the powerful excuse of greater crimes,
+compels me to commit: you too I know, and rate as high as you can
+possibly be in his esteem; for a prize of less value I should not have
+acted so unbecoming my own character, or transgressed those laws of
+perfect friendship, which I have broken and violated, at the instigation
+of that mischievous and irresistible power.”
+
+‘“Since thou art self-convicted so far,” replied Camilla, “thou mortal
+enemy to all that merits love! with what face darest thou appear before
+her who is the mirror that reflects him, and in which thou oughtest to
+have seen how little reason and encouragement thou hadst to wrong his
+honour; but, unfortunate that I am! I have found out the cause that
+induced thee to forget thyself so far; it must have been some lightness
+of carriage in me; immodesty I will not call it, because it could not be
+the effect of deliberate determination, but must have proceeded from a
+neglect of some of those forms which women often inadvertently omit
+before those whom they think they can entertain without ceremony.
+Otherwise, tell me, traitor, when did I ever answer thy addresses with
+any word or sign that could awaken in thy breast the least glimpse of
+hope to accomplish thy infamous aim? Did I not always reject and reprove
+thy amorous protestations with rigour and severity? and when were thy
+promises and presents believed and accepted? But, as I think no person
+could long persevere in such a flagitious intention, without being
+supported by some sort of hope, I am willing to lay the blame of your
+impertinence at my own door; since, without doubt, some failure of care
+in me, hath enabled you to exert yours so long; and therefore, I will
+inflict upon myself the punishment that your crime deserves; but that
+you may see, in being thus inhuman to myself, it was impossible for me
+to deal mildly by you, I have invited you hither, to be witness of the
+sacrifice I mean to offer to the injured honour of my noble husband,
+whom you have aggrieved to the utmost of your power, I myself being
+accessary to the wrong, because I have not industriously enough avoided
+all occasion, if I gave you any, of favouring and countenancing your
+wicked inclinations. I say, the suspicion I have, that some levity of
+mine engendered such frantick sentiments in your bosom, gives me the
+utmost pain, and prompts me to chastise my indiscretion with my own
+hands, rather than make my fault more publick, by submitting to another
+executioner; but, if I must perish, my fall shall be accompanied with
+the death of him whose blood will satisfy the vengeance which I already
+in some measure enjoy, when I consider that wheresoever I go, I shall
+have before mine eyes, the victim I offered to the most disinterested
+justice, in punishing the wretch who hath reduced me to this despair.”
+
+‘So saying, she assaulted Lothario with incredible force and agility,
+manifesting such eagerness to plunge the poignard in his breast, that he
+himself doubted whether her endeavours were feigned or real; and was
+actually obliged to exert his whole strength in defending himself from
+Camilla, who acted this strange imposture so much to the life, that, in
+order to give it the greater appearance of truth, she resolved to colour
+it with her own blood; for seeing, or feigning, that she could not touch
+Lothario, she cried, “Though fate denies me the full satisfaction of my
+just desire, it cannot rob me of one part of my revenge.” With these
+words, struggling to disengage her dagger-hand, which was held by
+Lothario, she at last succeeded, and directing her poignard to a part of
+her body, which she thought she might slightly wound without danger, she
+sheathed it between her shoulder and left-breast, and fell upon the
+floor as in a swoon.
+
+‘Leonela and Lothario were astonished and confounded at this event, and
+still dubious whether or not Camilla was in earnest, when they saw her
+stretched upon the ground, and bathed in her own blood. Lothario ran, in
+the utmost fright and consternation, to draw forth the dagger; but
+perceiving what a superficial wound she had made, he recovered of the
+terror which had began to seize him, and could not help admiring anew,
+the uncommon sagacity, prudence, and discretion, of the beautiful
+Camilla; that he might therefore proceed in the part he had to act, he
+began to make long and sorrowful lamentation over the body, as if she
+had been really dead, imprecating a thousand curses, not only upon
+himself, but also upon him who was the original cause of this disaster;
+and as he knew that Anselmo was listening, said such melancholy things,
+that whosoever had heard him, would have pitied his case, as much as
+that of Camilla, though they had believed her actually dead.
+
+‘Leonela lifted her up, and laying her on the bed, earnestly entreated
+Lothario to find some person who would cure her privately; and begged he
+would advise her, with regard to what she should tell Anselmo, about her
+lady’s wound, in case he should return before she was cured: he said she
+might tell him what she pleased, for he was then in no condition to give
+any profitable advice about the matter; he only desired her to fall upon
+some method of staunching the blood, and declared that for his own part
+he would go where man should never see him. He accordingly departed with
+the appearance of infinite grief and anxiety, and when he found himself
+alone, in a private place, crossed himself with amazement at the
+invention of Camilla, and the artful behaviour of her maid. He could
+easily conceive that Anselmo was by this time thoroughly convinced of
+his having a second Portia for his wife; and was impatient to see him,
+that they might together extol her behaviour, which, though imposture,
+had more appearance of truth than any thing of the same kind that had
+ever been practised.
+
+‘Leonela, as she was desired, stopped her lady’s blood, of which there
+was just enough to give credit to her artifice; and washing the wound
+with a little wine, bound it up as well as she could, uttering such
+sorrowful expressions all the time, as would have been sufficient,
+without any previous lamentation, to persuade Anselmo that his wife was
+the mirror of chastity. Leonela’s complaints were joined by those of her
+mistress, who taxed herself with cowardice and pusillanimity, in having
+lost the best opportunity she should ever have of parting with that life
+which she abhorred. She consulted her maid about disclosing the whole
+affair to her beloved spouse; but this scheme Leonela opposed, observing
+that it would lay her master under an obligation of taking vengeance on
+Lothario; a satisfaction he could not enjoy without exposing himself to
+great danger; and that a virtuous woman, far from seeking to involve her
+husband in quarrels, was in duty bound to keep him free of all such
+disputes, by every method in her power. Camilla seemed to approve of her
+maid’s prudence, and promised to follow her advice; but said it would be
+necessary at all events to invent some excuse to Anselmo about the
+wound, which he could not fail of observing. Leonela assuring her, that
+they could never tell a lye even in jest, the mistress replied, “What
+shall I do then, child? for I would not attempt to frame and maintain a
+falshood, even though my life depended upon it; since, therefore, we
+know not how to extricate ourselves otherwise, we must e’en discover the
+naked truth, rather than run the risk of being detected in a
+lye.”—“Don’t give yourself any farther uneasiness, Madam,” said Leonela;
+“by to-morrow morning I shall have found some expedient; perhaps the
+wound being where it is, may be concealed from his view, and Heaven
+vouchsafe to favour our upright and honourable intention. Compose
+yourself, dear Madam, endeavour to calm the perturbation of your
+spirits, that my master may not perceive your disorder, and leave the
+consequence to my care and that of Heaven, which never fails to favour
+the righteous design.”
+
+‘Anselmo listened with the utmost attention to this tragedy of the death
+of his honour, which was represented with such exquisite and surprizing
+address, that the actors seemed really transformed into the very
+characters they feigned; he longed impatiently for night, and an
+opportunity of escaping unseen, that he might fly to his worthy friend
+Lothario, and receive his congratulation upon the precious jewel he had
+found in this vindication of his wife’s virtue; they took care to
+furnish him with the occasion he wanted; and he, without letting it
+slip, ran immediately in quest of Lothario. It would be difficult to
+describe the eagerness of his embraces at meeting, or to recount the
+expressions he used in the overflowings of his satisfaction, and the
+extravagant praises he bestowed on Camilla. All these Lothario heard,
+without being able to manifest the least signs of joy; his reflections
+taxed him with the deceit he had practised, and the injury he had done
+his unsuspecting friend. Anselmo took notice that he did not seem to
+participate in his pleasure, but believed his concern proceeded from the
+thoughts of having been the occasion of Camilla’s wound: he therefore,
+among other things, told him to make himself easy on that score, for the
+hurt must certainly have been very slight, as they had agreed to conceal
+it from his knowledge; and since there was no bad consequence to be
+apprehended, he hoped for the future to enjoy, in mirth and good-humour,
+the friendship of his dear Lothario, by whose industry and mediation he
+now saw himself raised to the most sublime pitch of human felicity; at
+the same time he signified, that his desire and design was to pursue no
+other amusement than that of composing verses in praise of Camilla, that
+should transmit to latest posterity the remembrance of her worth.
+
+‘Lothario commended his laudable determination, and promised to
+contribute all that lay in his power towards the rearing of such an
+illustrious edifice; so that Anselmo being the most agreeably deceived
+of any man that ever lived, led by the hand to his own house, the very
+man who, though in his opinion the instrument of his glory, was the
+total perdition of his fame. Camilla received him with a countenance
+expressing resentment, but a soul brimful of joy; and their secret
+correspondence continued uninterrupted for a few months, at the end of
+which the wheel of fortune having performed a full circle, the intrigue,
+which had been hitherto so artfully concealed, was discovered, and
+Anselmo’s Impertinent Curiosity cost him his life.’
+
+Footnote 94:
+
+ _Sensato, secreto, sobrepusado, senzero_; Sensible, secret,
+ surpassing, and sincere.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VIII.
+ THE CONCLUSION OF THE IMPERTINENT CURIOSITY.
+
+
+A little more of this novel remained to be read, when Sancho came
+running in great confusion, from the garret where his master Don Quixote
+lay, bawling aloud, ‘Come hither, gentlemen! make haste to the
+assistance of my master, who is this precious minute engaged and
+grappled in the toughest battle that ever my eyes beheld! Egad, he has
+given that same giant, the enemy to my Lady the princess of Micomicona,
+such a back-stroke, as hath sliced off his head as smooth and clean as
+the skin of a turnip.’—‘What do you mean, brother?’ said the curate,
+closing the book; ‘are you in your right wits, Sancho? How the devil can
+your master be fighting with a giant who is two thousand leagues from
+hence?’
+
+That instant they heard a great noise in the apartment, and Don Quixote
+proclaiming aloud, ‘Stay, villain! robber! caitiff! here I have thee,
+and thy scymitar shall not avail.’ Then he began to strike furiously at
+the walls; and Sancho exclaimed, ‘Don’t stand here listening, but go in
+and part the fray, or lend your assistance to my master, though I
+believe that will be needless by this time, for the giant is certainly
+dead, and giving an account to God of his wicked and misspent life: nay,
+I saw, with my own eyes, his blood running about the floor, and his head
+cut off, laying on one side, as a large wine bag.’—‘May I be hanged,’
+cried the innkeeper, at these words, ‘if this Don Quixote, or Don Devil,
+has not cut open one of the skins filled with red wine, that stood at
+his bed’s head, and the wine that ran out is mistaken by this simple
+fellow for blood!’
+
+So saying, he rushed into the apartment with the whole company at his
+heels, and found the knight in a very ludicrous situation; he appeared
+in his shirt, which was too scanty before to cover his thighs, and still
+shorter behind, by six inches at least, and displayed a pair of long
+lank legs, imbrowned with hair, and not extremely clean; his head was
+covered with a little, red, greasy night-cap, belonging to the landlord;
+round his left-arm he had wrapped the blanket of his bed, to which
+Sancho, for good reasons known to himself, bore an inveterate grudge;
+and in his right, he wielded his drawn sword, with which he laid about
+him at a furious rate, talking as if he was actually at blows with the
+giant; but, what was very surprizing, his eyes were shut all the time,
+and he was fast asleep, dreaming of this encounter; for his imagination
+was so much engrossed by the adventure he had undertaken to atchieve, as
+to make him dream that he was already arrived in the kingdom of
+Micomicon, and engaged in single combat with his gigantick adversary;
+instead of whom, he hacked the wine-bags so furiously, that the whole
+room was afloat with their contents.
+
+The innkeeper no sooner perceived this havock, than incensed to the last
+degree, he assaulted Don Quixote with his clenched fists, and began to
+pummel him so severely, that if the curate and Cardenio had not
+interposed, he would soon have put an end to the adventure of the giant;
+yet, for all that, the poor knight did not awake until the barber
+fetching a kettle of cold water from the well, soused him all over; even
+then, though sleep forsook him, he did not recollect the situation he
+was in; and Dorothea, seeing him so slight and airily equipped, did not
+chuse to be a spectator of the combat between her adversary and
+protector. Meanwhile, Sancho went about the room, prying into every
+corner, and searching for the giant’s head; which when he could not
+find, ‘I know,’ said he, ‘that every thing goes by inchantment in this
+house: the last time I was in this very spot, I received a great many
+thwacks and thumps without seeing a soul, or being able to guess from
+whence they came; and now this head is vanished, though I saw it cut off
+with mine own eyes, and the blood spout out of the body, like water from
+a fountain.’—‘What! dost thou talk of blood and fountains, thou enemy of
+God and his saints!’ cried the inn-keeper; ‘don’t you see, rascal, that
+there is no blood or fountain, but the skins that are pierced, and the
+red wine that swims about the room? I hope the soul of him who pierced
+them, will swim in hell!’—‘I know nothing of the matter,’ replied
+Sancho; ‘but that, on account of my not finding the head, I shall see my
+earldom dissolve like salt in water.’
+
+Thus the squire, though awake, was more extravagant than Don Quixote in
+his dream; such an impression had his master’s promises made upon his
+imagination. The phlegmatick temper of the squire, together with the
+mischievous disposition of the knight, well-nigh distracted the
+landlord, who swore, that they should not now, as formerly, go away
+without paying; and that all the privilege of their errantry should not
+exempt them from paying both reckonings to the last farthing, for the
+damage they had done, even to the bits of leather for patching the
+wine-skins that were cut. The curate, by this time, had got hold of the
+hands of Don Quixote, who, believing he had now finished the adventure,
+and was in presence of the Princess Micomicona, fell upon his knees
+before the priest, saying, ‘Renowned princess, your highness may
+henceforth live secure of what that misbegotten wretch can do; and I,
+from this day forward, am acquitted of my promise, which is now, by the
+assistance of Heaven above, and the favour of her for whom I live and
+breathe, happily and fully performed.’—‘Did not I tell you so?’ cried
+Sancho, hearing these words. ‘You see I am not drunk, and may take
+notice that my master hath put the giant in pickle: the holidays will
+certainly come round, and the earldom fit me to a hair.’
+
+Who could refrain from laughing at the follies of the master and man?
+they occasioned abundance of mirth to every one present, except the
+landlord, who cursed himself to the devil. At length the barber, curate,
+and Cardenio, with no small difficulty, put the knight to bed again,
+where he fell fast asleep in an instant, like one who had been
+excessively fatigued; they left him to his repose, and went out to
+console Sancho for his disappointment in losing the giant’s head; but
+they found it a harder task to pacify the innkeeper, who was driven
+almost to despair, by the sudden death of his wine-bags; besides, the
+landlady began to cry, in a whimpering tone, ‘In an unlucky minute and
+evil hour did this knight-errant enter my doors! for I am sure, I never
+beheld him without paying dearly for the sight! The last time he was
+here, he refused to defray a whole night’s expence of supper, lodging,
+straw, and barley, for himself and his squire, his horse and his ass;
+saying that he was a knight-errant, forsooth: (God send him and all
+other knights-errant upon errands that will tend to their sorrow!) and
+therefore, was not obliged to pay for any thing, because it was not
+ordained in the registers of chivalry; then, this gentleman coming after
+him t’other day, borrowed my tail, and though I have got it again, it is
+a good penny the worse for the wearing, the hair being plucked off in
+such a manner as makes it unfit for my husband’s purpose; and to finish
+and conclude the whole, my bags are broke, and my wine spilt; (would I
+could see his heart’s blood in the same condition!) but he must not
+think to get off so easily, for by the bones of my father, and my
+mother’s soul! they shall pay for every thing upon the nail; or, may I
+never be called by my own name again, or believed to be my father’s own
+child!’
+
+These, and other expressions of the same kind, were uttered, with great
+bitterness, by the landlady; and her faithful servant Maritornes joined
+in the exclamation; while the daughter held her peace, and, from time to
+time, smiled at their indignation, which at last was appeased by the
+curate, who promised to give them satisfaction, to the best of his
+power, for the loss they had sustained in bags and wine, and, in
+particular, for the damage done to the tail, which they valued so
+highly; and Dorothea comforted Sancho, by telling him, that as soon as
+ever it should appear that his master had actually cut off the giant’s
+head, and she should find herself in quiet possession of her kingdom,
+she would bestow upon him the best earldom in her gift. The squire was
+consoled by this promise, and assured the princess, that he was certain
+he had seen the giant’s head, by the same token that he had a huge beard
+that flowed down to his middle; and that the whole was now vanished,
+because every thing in that house was performed by inchantment, as he
+had found by woeful experience, the last time he had lodged in that
+apartment. Dorothea said she was of the same opinion, desiring he would
+give himself no uneasiness, for every thing would be for the best, and
+succeed to his heart’s content. The quiet of the house being thus
+re-established, the curate wanted to read the remaining part of the
+novel, which he perceived already drew near a close; and Cardenio,
+Dorothea, and the rest, intreating him to finish the story, he, with a
+view of pleasing them as well as himself, proceeded in these words.
+
+‘Anselmo being now satisfied of his wife’s virtue, enjoyed himself
+without the least disturbance or care; while Camilla, in order to
+disguise her real sentiments, affected always to frown upon Lothario,
+who, as a farther sanction to this stratagem, desired Anselmo to excuse
+him from coming to his house, since it was plain that Camilla was
+disgusted at his presence: but the infatuated Anselmo would by no means
+comply with this request; so that this unhappy husband was, in a
+thousand shapes, the author of his own dishonour, while, in his own
+opinion, he was laying up a store of happiness and reputation.
+
+‘About this time Leonela’s desire of gratifying her own loose wishes,
+carried her to such a pitch of imprudence, that she gave her wantonness
+the rein without the least caution; conscious that her mistress would
+conceal her conduct, and even advise her how to carry on the intrigue
+without the least danger of being detected. At length, however, Anselmo,
+one night heard somebody walking in her apartment, and endeavouring to
+get in and see who it was, found the door shut against him. This
+circumstance increased his desire, he made a violent effort, and the
+door flew open, upon which he entered, and seeing a man leap out of the
+window into the street, ran hastily to lay hold or get sight of him; but
+he was disappointed in both by Leonela, who hanging upon her master,
+cried, “Hold, dear Sir! be not surprized, nor seek to pursue the person
+who is fled; he was here on my account, and is as good as my wedded
+husband.”
+
+‘Anselmo would give no credit to her words, but, blinded with passion,
+drew his poignard to stab Leonela, whom he commanded to reveal the truth
+on pain of immediate death. She, terrified by his threats, answered,
+without knowing what she said, “Spare my life, good Sir, and I will
+disclose things of greater importance than you imagine.”—“Speak, then,”
+cried Anselmo, “or thou shalt instantly die.”—“At present,” replied
+Leonela, “I am in such perturbation, that I cannot possibly make a
+distinct confession; delay your vengeance till to-morrow morning, and
+then you shall hear something that will strike you with astonishment:
+meanwhile, be assured, that he who leaped out of the window, is a young
+man of this city, who has given me a promise of marriage.”
+
+‘Anselmo being somewhat pacified by this declaration, resolved to grant
+the respite she demanded; though he never dreamed of hearing any thing
+to the prejudice of Camilla, of whose virtue he was satisfied and
+secure; he therefore quitted the room, in which however he locked up
+Leonela, telling her she must continue in that place, until she should
+have made this promised discovery; then going to Camilla, informed her
+of every thing that had passed, together with the promise her maid had
+made of discovering things of great importance. It is almost needless to
+say that Camilla was disturbed at this information: the terror that took
+possession of her was such, that believing, with good reason too,
+Leonela would actually disclose to Anselmo every circumstance of her
+infidelity, she had not resolution enough to wait the issue of her
+suspicion; but that very night, while her husband was asleep, collected
+the best of her jewels, with some money, and getting out of the house,
+without being perceived, fled to Lothario, and recounted what had
+happened, at the same time beseeching him to put her in a place of
+safety, or accompany her to some retreat, where they should be secure
+from the search of Anselmo.
+
+‘Such was the confusion of Lothario, at the news of this unexpected
+event, that he could not answer one syllable, nor for some time resolve
+upon what was to be done. At length he proposed to carry Camilla to a
+monastery, the abbess of which was his first cousin; and his mistress
+consenting to the proposal, he conducted her thither with all the
+dispatch which the nature of the case required, and leaving her to the
+care of his relation, quitted the city that very night, without
+imparting the cause of his absence to any living soul.
+
+‘Next morning, soon as it was day, Anselmo, without perceiving that
+Camilla was gone, so eagerly did he long to hear this confession of her
+maid, arose and went directly to the room in which he had confined her;
+but he no sooner opened the door, and entered the apartment, than he
+perceived the sheets of the bed tied together, hanging out of the
+window; a manifest proof that Leonela had lowered herself down into the
+street, by means of that contrivance: he then returned, with a good deal
+of chagrin, to communicate his disappointment to Camilla, whom when he
+could not find, he was seized with the utmost consternation, especially
+as none of the servants could give the least account of her departure;
+but chancing, in the course of his enquiry, to find the coffers open,
+and the best part of her jewels carried off, he began to comprehend his
+disgrace; and concluded that Leonela was not the cause of his
+misfortune.
+
+‘Dispirited with this reflection, he did not stay to dress, but went in
+a most disconsolate situation, to give an account of his mishap to his
+friend Lothario; and when he understood from his servants, that their
+master had gone out in the night, and carried all his ready money along
+with him, he had well-nigh lost his senses. To crown his misery, he
+returned to his own house, which was deserted by all his servants, and
+found himself the most solitary being in nature; he knew not what to
+think, say, or do, and his judgment began to be impaired; for, upon
+recollection, he perceived that he was in an instant deprived of wife,
+friend, and servants, renounced by Heaven, and, what he felt more deeply
+than any other part of his disaster, destitute of honour, by the
+misconduct of Camilla, from which he dated his utter destruction. At
+length, after a long internal struggle, he resolved to go to the
+country-house of his friend, where he had been, when he furnished the
+opportunity of planning his own ruin. Accordingly, having locked his
+door, he mounted his horse, and almost fainting under the burden of his
+woes, set out for that place; but scarce had he travelled one half of
+the way, when harrassed by his shocking reflections, he was obliged to
+alight and tie his horse to a tree, at the root of which he threw
+himself down, giving vent to the most lamentable sighs that ever were
+heaved: there he remained till the twilight; about which time,
+perceiving a man coming on horseback from the city, after salutation, he
+asked what news were stirring at Florence. “The strangest,” replied the
+citizen, “that have been heard these many days; it is publickly
+reported, that Lothario, the intimate friend of Anselmo the rich, who
+lived at St. John’s, hath this last night carried off the wife of his
+friend, who is also missing. This discovery was made to the governor by
+Camilla’s maid, who was detected in letting herself down by a sheet,
+from one of the windows of Anselmo’s house. In short, I do not know the
+particulars exactly; but the whole city is astonished at this event,
+which they could never have expected from the intimacy of the two
+gentlemen, who were so strictly united in the bands of amity, as to
+acquire the title of the Two Friends.”—“Do you know what road Lothario
+and Camilla have taken?” said Anselmo. “That is not yet discovered,”
+replied the traveller; “though the governor hath used great diligence in
+the enquiry.” Anselmo wished him a good evening; and the citizen having
+returned the compliment, proceeded on his journey.
+
+‘These unhappy news reduced this ill-fated husband to the verge of death
+as well as distraction. He mounted, however, as well as he could, and
+arrived at the house of his friend, who had not as yet heard of his
+misfortune; but seeing him so exhausted, ghastly, and pale, imagined he
+had met with some grievous disaster. Anselmo begged to be put to bed
+immediately, and furnished with pen, ink, and paper: thus provided, he
+was left alone, and the chamber locked at his own desire; then the
+remembrance of his misfortune began to be so heavy upon his soul, that
+he plainly perceived his end approaching, and being desirous of
+declaring the cause of his strange and sudden death, he took up the pen;
+but, before he could execute his design, his breath failed him, and he
+expired, a victim to that sorrow which was occasioned by his own
+impertinent curiosity. His friend finding it grow late, and that Anselmo
+had not called, went into his chamber, to enquire about his health;
+there he found him lying upon his face, one half of his body in bed, and
+the other on the table, with a pen in his hand, and a written paper
+lying open before him.
+
+‘The gentleman having spoke to him without receiving any answer, took
+him by the hand, and feeling him cold and stiff, concluded he was dead.
+Surprized and concerned to the last degree, he called up his family to
+be witnesses of this melancholy event, and knowing the paper to be
+Anselmo’s own hand-writing, read the contents, in these words: “I am
+deprived of life by my own impertinent curiosity. If the news of my
+death reach Camilla’s ears, let her know that I forgive her infidelity;
+for she was not bound to perform miracles, nor I under any necessity of
+expecting them at her hands: since, therefore, I have been the contriver
+of my own dishonour, there is no reason that——” So far he had written,
+but life had forsaken him, before he could finish the sentence. Next day
+his friend sent an account of his death to his parents, who were already
+informed of his mischance, as also of the convent to which Camilla had
+retreated; and where she now lay at the point of accompanying her spouse
+in his last indispensible journey; not so much on account of Anselmo’s
+death, as in consequence of the information she received concerning her
+absent lover; it was said, that though she was now a widow, she would
+neither quit the convent nor take the veil; but, in a little time the
+news arrived of Lothario’s being killed in a battle which was fought
+between the renowned Captain Gonçalo Fernandes de Cordova, and Monsieur
+De Lautrec, in the kingdom of Naples, whither this too-late repenting
+friend had made his retreat. This event was no sooner known, than
+Camilla professed herself a nun, and in a few days yielded up her life a
+prey to grief and melancholy. Such was the untimely end to which they
+were all brought from a beginning of whim and indiscretion.’
+
+‘This novel,’ said the curate, ‘is not amiss; but I cannot think the
+story is true; and if it be feigned, the author has erred in point of
+invention; for it cannot be supposed that any husband would be so mad as
+to try this dangerous experiment of Anselmo: had it been related of a
+gallant and his mistress, it might have passed; but with regard to a
+husband and his wife, it is altogether improbable; however, the manner
+of narrating it is not disagreeable.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IX.
+ AN ACCOUNT OF OTHER STRANGE ADVENTURES THAT HAPPENED AT THE INN.
+
+
+At that instant the landlord, standing at the inn-door, exclaimed,
+‘There is a noble company: odd! if they halt here, we shall sing for
+joy.’—‘What company?’ said Cardenio. ‘Four men,’ replied the inn-keeper,
+‘who ride with short stirrups, each of them equipped with lance, target,
+and mask, with a lady on a side-saddle, dressed in white and veiled, and
+two attendants on foot.’ When the priest asked if they were near, he
+answered, ‘So near, that they are already at the gate.’
+
+Dorothea hearing this information, put on her veil, and Cardenio
+withdrew into Don Quixote’s apartment. Immediately the whole company
+announced by the landlord, entered the inn-yard; and the four horsemen,
+who were persons of genteel mien and carriage, instantly alighting, went
+to help the lady from her horse, when one of them taking her in his
+arms, placed her in a chair that stood by the door of the room in which
+Cardenio had concealed himself. All this time neither she nor they took
+off their masks, nor uttered one syllable; but when she was seated, she
+heaved a profound sigh, and let her arms fall down on each side, like a
+person fainting with weakness. While the footman led the horses into the
+stable, the curate being curious to know who those persons were, so
+remarkable in their silence and dress, went up and put the question to
+one of the lacquies, who answered, ‘Truly, Signior, we are as ignorant
+in that particular as you are; though they seem to be people of
+condition, especially he who took the lady in his arms, because all the
+rest behave to him with great respect, following his directions in every
+thing with the utmost punctuality.’—‘And, pray, who may the lady be?’
+said the priest. ‘We know as little of her as of the man,’ replied the
+lacquey; ‘for during the journey I have never once beheld her face; I
+have often heard her sigh bitterly, and utter piercing groans, in every
+one of which she seemed to yield her very soul; but it is not to be
+wondered at that we should know so little of their affairs, my companion
+and I having attended them two days only; for, meeting us on the road,
+they intreated and persuaded us to accompany them as far as Andalusia,
+promising to pay us handsomely for our trouble.’—‘Have you never heard
+one of them named?’ resumed the curate. ‘Never once,’ answered the young
+man; ‘they travel with surprizing silence; nothing is heard but the sobs
+and sighs of the poor lady, which move us to compassion; we firmly
+believe that she is forced upon this journey, and gather from her dress
+that she is a nun; or, which is more probable, going to take the veil;
+and finding herself very little inclined to that way of life, is
+melancholy at the prospect.’
+
+The curate said, nothing was more probable; and leaving the lacquey,
+returned to Dorothea, who by this time, out of natural sympathy with the
+affliction of the masked lady, had approached and accosted her in these
+words: ‘What is the matter with you, dear Madam? If you labour under any
+indisposition which the practice and experience of women can relieve, my
+assistance is heartily at your service.’ To this kind offer no reply was
+made by the sorrowful lady, who, notwithstanding the other’s repeated
+intreaties, would not open her mouth; until the person who by the
+lacquey’s information was chief of the company, addressing himself to
+Dorothea, said, ‘Do not fatigue yourself, Madam, in making proffers of
+service to that woman, who cannot be grateful for any favour she
+receives; nor importune her for any reply, unless you desire to hear
+some falshoods proceed from her lips.’—‘My lips,’ said the hitherto
+silent lady, ‘were never profaned with falshood; on the contrary, my
+present misfortune is owing to my sincerity and my abhorrence of lyes.
+Of this assertion you yourself are too sensible; since your own perfidy
+and falshood are the effects of my constancy and truth.’
+
+These words were distinctly overheard by Cardenio, who was only
+separated from them by the door of Don Quixote’s chamber; and they no
+sooner reached his ear, than he cried aloud, ‘Good Heaven, what do I
+hear! What voice is that which struck my sense!’ The lady being
+exceedingly surprized at that exclamation, turned about her head, and
+not seeing the person that pronounced it, started up, and ran towards
+the apartment from whence it seemed to come; but was prevented by her
+conductor, who would not suffer her to move one step farther. In the
+disorder occasioned by her struggle, her mask dropped off, and
+discovered a countenance of incomparable and amazing beauty, even though
+disguised with paleness and horror; for her eyes rolled about to every
+corner which her sight could reach, with such eagerness and wildness,
+that she looked like a woman possessed.
+
+Dorothea, and all present, were infinitely concerned at these symptoms,
+the meaning of which they could not understand; meanwhile, the cavalier
+was so busied in holding her fast by the shoulders, that he could not
+attend to his mask, which also fell to the ground: and Dorothea lifting
+up her eyes towards him, as he held the lady in his arms, perceived that
+this cavalier was no other than her own husband, Don Fernando. No sooner
+did she recognize his features, than fetching a long and melancholy sigh
+from the very bottom of her soul, she fell backward in a swoon; and if
+the barber had not been at hand to support her, would have certainly
+come to the ground. The curate ran instantly to take off her veil, that
+he might sprinkle water on her face, which was immediately known by Don
+Fernando, who held the other lady in his arms, and was thunderstruck at
+the sight: he would not, however, quit Lucinda, who struggled to get
+loose; she and Cardenio having by this time recognized each other by
+their mutual exclamations. He had also overheard the groan uttered by
+Dorothea when she fainted; and believing that it proceeded from Lucinda,
+rushed out of his apartment in a fright, when the first object he beheld
+was Don Fernando clasping her in his arms. This nobleman knew him
+immediately; and all three (namely, Lucinda, Cardenio, and Dorothea)
+were struck dumb with astonishment, and seemed insensible of what had
+happened, gazing in silence at one another.
+
+Dorothea directed her eager view to Don Fernando, who stared at
+Cardenio, whose eyes were fixed upon Lucinda, who looked wishfully at
+him; but the first that broke silence, was this last, who addressed
+herself in these words to Don Fernando: ‘Suffer me, Signior, in regard
+to your own character, since you are deaf to every other consideration,
+to cleave to that wall of which I am the ivy, to avail myself of that
+prop from which you could not disengage me, with all your importunities,
+promises, and threats. Behold how Heaven, by unusual and mysterious
+means, hath brought me to my true and lawful husband; and since you
+know, by dear-bought experience, that nothing but death can expel his
+image from my breast, let this plain demonstration, since all other
+attempts are vain, convert your love into rage, your friendship into
+hate, and instantly deprive me of life, which I shall yield with
+pleasure in the presence of my legal lord, who will then perhaps be
+convinced of the fidelity I preserved to the last moment of my
+existence.’
+
+In the mean time, Dorothea being recovered from her swoon, had listened
+to Lucinda’s declaration, by which she discovered her situation and
+name; but perceiving that Don Fernando neither quitted his hold, nor
+answered one word to her solicitation, she exerted her whole strength in
+falling down on her knees before him, and having shed a large quantity
+of tears from her beautiful eyes, accosted him in these words: ‘My dear
+lord! if your eyes were not dazzled and obscured by the rays of that sun
+which you hold eclipsed within your arms, you would perceive that she
+who thus kneels before you, is the unhappy (so long as you are pleased
+she should be so) and forlorn Dorothea—I am that humble country maiden
+whom your generosity or passion vouchsafed to raise to the honour of
+calling you her own. I am she who, confined within the bounds of
+modesty, lived a contented life, until moved by your importunities, and
+seemingly upright addresses, she opened the gates of her reserve, and
+surrendered to you the keys of her freedom. An offering but ill
+requited, as plainly appears by that hard fate, in consequence of which
+I am found in this place, and also find you in your present situation.
+Nevertheless, I would not have you imagine that I came hither, induced
+by any dishonourable motives; but that the sorrow conceived at seeing
+myself forsaken and forgotten by you, was the sole cause of my retreat.
+You desired I should be your own; and that desire you accomplished so
+effectually, that although your inclinations may be changed, it is
+impossible you should cease to be mine. Consider, my lord, that my
+unparalleled affection may counterbalance the beauty and birth of her
+for whom I am abandoned; you cannot be the fair Lucinda’s husband,
+because you are already mine; nor she become your wife, while she
+appertains to Cardenio; and it will be a much easier task, if you
+reflect upon it impartially, to recal your love for her who adores you,
+than to gain the affection of one by whom you are abhorred. You
+solicited my unsuspecting heart, you importuned my integrity, you was
+not ignorant of my lowly station, and know in what manner I yielded to
+your will; so that you have no subterfuge, nor the least room to say you
+was deceived. If this be the case, as doubtless it is, and you be a
+Christian as well as a gentleman, why do you, by such evasions, delay to
+make the end as happy as the beginning of my fortune? If you will not
+receive me as what I really am, your lawful wife, at least admit me into
+the number of your slaves; for, in whatever shape I belong to you, I
+shall account myself fortunate and blessed; do not, therefore, by
+renouncing me entirely, give scandal an opportunity of impeaching my
+honour. Make not my parents miserable in their old age; their faithful
+services to your father merit a more kind return! if you think your
+blood will be debased in mixing with mine, consider, that almost all the
+great families on earth have undergone the same intercourse, and that
+the woman’s quality in no manner affects illustrious descents: besides,
+true nobility consists in virtue; and in that shall I have the advantage
+over you, if you deny and oppose the justice of my claim. In fine, the
+last argument I shall use is this, whether you are pleased or displeased
+with your destiny, I am your lawful wife: witness your own words, which
+neither are nor ought to be false; if you value yourself on that for
+which you undervalue me; witness your handwriting, and Heaven above, to
+the testimony of which you appealed for the performance of your promise;
+and if all these should fail, your conscience will never cease
+whispering to you, amidst your pleasures, in vindication of this truth,
+which will disturb your most exalted enjoyments.’
+
+This supplication, enforced with other arguments, was pronounced so
+feelingly by the afflicted and weeping Dorothea, that tears of sympathy
+were shed by all present, the companions of Don Fernando not excepted;
+he himself listened without answering one word, until she had made an
+end of her address, and began to utter such woeful sighs and groans, as
+were almost sufficient to melt an heart of brass. Lucinda stood gazing
+upon her with equal compassion for her sorrow, and admiration of her
+beauty and good sense; nay, she would have gone and offered her all the
+consolation in her power, had she not still been kept fast locked in the
+arms of Don Fernando; who, full of confusion and surprize, after having
+for a good while fixed his eyes upon Dorothea, with great attention,
+opened his arms, and leaving Lucinda at liberty, said, ‘You have
+conquered, beauteous Dorothea: the victory is yours; for so many truths
+conjoined are surely irresistible.’
+
+Lucinda was so faint and weak, that when Don Fernando quitted her, she
+would have fallen to the ground, had it not been for Cardenio, who had
+placed himself behind her ravisher, that he might not be known[95]; but
+now, laying aside all fear, and resolving to adventure every thing, he
+sprung to the assistance of Lucinda, and catching her in his arms, ‘If,’
+said he, ‘it be the will and pleasure of pitying Heaven, that you should
+find repose, my faithful, constant, and charming Lucinda! I think you
+can enjoy it no where so securely, as in these arms, which now receive,
+and formerly encircled you, when fortune was pleased that I should call
+you mine.’
+
+At these words, she gazed upon him with great eagerness; she had before
+began to recognize his voice, and now, recollecting his features, like a
+person deprived of judgment, who disregards all decency and form, she
+threw her arms about his neck, and joining her lips to his, ‘Yes, my
+dear Cardenio,’ said she, ‘you are the real lord of this your slave, in
+spite of adverse fate, and all those threats, though greater than they
+are, that persecute my life, which now depends on yours alone.’
+
+An unexpected sight was this to Don Fernando, and all the bye-standers,
+who were not a little surprized at what they saw. While Dorothea
+observing her husband change colour, and signify an inclination of being
+revenged upon Cardenio, by laying his hand upon his sword, ran, with
+incredible agility, and clasping his knees, which she kissed, held him
+so firmly embraced, that he could not move, saying, while the tears
+trickled from her eyes, ‘What means my only refuge to do on this
+unexpected occasion? Your own wife is now kneeling before you, and she
+whom you desire to wed is in the arms of her lawful husband; consider
+whether it be just or possible for you to undo that which Heaven hath
+done; why should you seek to unite yourself with one, who disdaining all
+opposition and inconvenience, and confirmed in her own constancy and
+truth, even before your eyes, lets fall from hers a shower of tenderness
+into the bosom of her lawful spouse? For the sake of God and of
+yourself, I entreat and beseech you, that this remarkable recognition
+may not only fail to increase your indignation, but even diminish it in
+such a manner, that these two lovers may, without any impediment from
+you, enjoy each other as long as Heaven will permit them to live. In
+this self-denial you will manifest the generosity of your noble and
+illustrious soul, and convince the world, that you are governed more by
+reason than by appetite.’
+
+While Dorothea pronounced these words, Cardenio, though he held Lucinda
+in his arms, kept his eyes still fixed upon Don Fernando, with full
+resolution, if he attempted any thing to his prejudice, to defend
+himself as well as he could, against his adversary and all his
+adherents, although it should cost him his life; but this young
+nobleman’s friends, together with the curate and barber, not forgetting
+honest Sancho Panza, who were present at the whole affair, interposed,
+and making a circle about him, begged earnestly that he would be pleased
+to consider the tears of Dorothea; and if what she alledged was true, as
+they firmly believed it was, no longer suffer her to be defrauded of her
+just and reasonable hope. They desired him to observe, that in all
+appearance it was not by accident, but the immediate direction of
+Providence, that they had all met together so unexpectedly in this
+place; and the curate intreated him to reflect, that death alone could
+divide Lucinda from Cardenio; that though they might be parted by the
+edge of the sword, they would look, upon death as the greatest blessing
+that could befal them, and that, in a case of this kind, which admitted
+of no other remedy, it would be his wisest course to constrain and
+conquer his own passion, and demonstrate the generosity of his heart, by
+permitting, of his own free-will, these two lovers to enjoy that state
+of happiness which heaven had ordained for their lot; that he should
+contemplate Dorothea’s beauty, which, far from being excelled, was
+equalled in few or none; and to her beauty, add the consideration of her
+humility and excessive love; above all, take notice, that if he valued
+himself upon being a gentleman and a Christian, he could do no less than
+perform the promise he had given, and in so doing, act in conformity to
+the will of God, and satisfy the discreet part of mankind, who are very
+sensible that it is the prerogative of beauty, even in a low estate,
+when accompanied with virtue, to be lifted up to the highest rank,
+without any disparagement to the person who thus raises it to an
+equality with himself; and since the irresistible force of inclination
+must prevail, provided there be nothing criminal in the means, he is not
+to be blamed who acts according to its dictates.
+
+To these arguments were added so many of the same sort, that the valiant
+heart of Don Fernando, nourished by illustrious blood, relented, and he
+was overcome by the force of that truth, which, however inclined, he
+could not deny. The signal of his surrender, and yielding to this
+reasonable and just proposal, was his stooping down and embracing
+Dorothea: to whom he said, ‘Rise, Madam; it is not just that she who
+reigns in my soul, should lie prostrate at my feet. If hitherto I have
+given small proof of what I now profess, perhaps my omission hath been
+owing to the appointment of Heaven, that by giving you an opportunity of
+manifesting the sincerity of your love, I might know how to esteem you
+according to your deserts. I beg, therefore, you will not upbraid me
+with my misconduct and unkind neglect; since the same force and occasion
+that attached me to you, was the cause of my endeavour to disengage
+myself. That you may be convinced of the truth, behold and contemplate
+the eyes of the now contented Lucinda, in which you will find an excuse
+for all my errors; and, since she hath found and attained her heart’s
+desire, and my utmost wish is fulfilled in thus retrieving you, may she
+live in peace and quiet, for many happy years, with her Cardenio, and
+may Heaven grant the same felicity to me with Dorothea!’
+
+So saying, he embraced her again, pressing his lips to her’s with such
+tenderness, that it required his greatest efforts to forbear giving,
+with his tears, indubitable signs of his affection and remorse. But
+those endeavours did not succeed with Lucinda, Cardenio, and every other
+person present, who began to weep so plentifully, either at their own
+happiness, or the satisfaction of their friends, that one would have
+thought some grievous misfortune had happened to the whole company. Even
+Sancho blubbered, though he afterwards owned, that his sorrow proceeded
+from seeing that Dorothea was not, as he imagined, the Queen of
+Micomicon, from whom he expelled such favours.
+
+This universal admiration and thaw having lasted some time, Cardenio and
+Lucinda fell upon their knees before Don Fernando, whom they thanked for
+his generosity in such polite terms, that he scarce knew what answer to
+make, but raised and embraced them both with demonstrations of uncommon
+courtesy and affection. Then asking Dorothea how she had come to that
+place, so distant from her own home, she with great elegance and brevity
+repeated what she had before recounted to Cardenio; and her husband and
+his company were so pleased with her narration, that they wished it
+could have been spun out to a much greater length; so gracefully did she
+relate her own misfortunes.
+
+Her talk being finished, Don Fernando informed them of what had happened
+to him in the city, after he found, in Lucinda’s bosom, the paper in
+which she declared herself Cardenio’s wife. Seeing that she could not
+possibly be his, he said, he was determined to put her to death, and
+would actually have executed his purpose, had not her parents
+interposed. He then quitted the house, full of shame and resentment,
+resolving to revenge himself with the first opportunity; and next day
+understood that she was gone off, without any body’s knowing whither she
+had directed her flight. At length, however, in a few months, he got
+notice that she was in a certain monastery, where she intended to spend
+her whole life, if she could not enjoy it in the company of Cardenio. He
+no sooner received this intimation, than chusing these three gentlemen
+for his companions, he went straight to the place of her residence; but
+without speaking to her, or making himself known, lest the monastery
+should be more strictly guarded on his account. He waited, therefore,
+until one day he found the porter’s lodge open; when leaving two of his
+friends to secure the door, he entered the monastery with the other, in
+quest of Lucinda, whom he found in the cloisters, talking with a nun;
+and snatching her off, without giving her a moment’s time for
+recollection, carried her instantly to a place where they provided
+themselves with necessaries for their journey. This exploit they were
+enabled to perform with safety, because the monastery stood in the
+middle of a field, at a good distance from any village or town. He said,
+Lucinda no sooner perceived herself in his power, than she fainted away;
+and when she recovered the use of her senses, did nothing but weep and
+sigh, without speaking one word: so that, accompanied with silence and
+tears, they had arrived at that inn, which he looked upon as the
+heavenly goal where all earthly misfortunes are happily terminated.
+
+Footnote 95:
+
+ But it appears in the preceding page, that he was already known both
+ to Fernando and Lucinda. _Aliquando bonus dormitat Homerus._
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. X.
+ A CONTINUATION OF THE HISTORY OF THE RENOWNED PRINCESS MICOMICONA,
+ WITH OTHER PLEASANT ADVENTURES.
+
+
+Sancho heard every thing that passed with no small anxiety of mind,
+seeing the hopes of his preferment vanish into smoke, the beautiful
+Princess Micomicona transformed into Dorothea, the giant into Don
+Fernando, and his master in a sound sleep, little dreaming of what had
+happened. Dorothea could not persuade herself, that all her good fortune
+was not a dream; Cardenio entertained the same opinion, which was also
+embraced by Lucinda; while Don Fernando gave thanks to Heaven for its
+favour, in extricating him from that labyrinth of perplexity, in which
+he was at the point of losing his reputation and soul. In fine, every
+person present was well satisfied, and rejoiced at the happy issue of
+such intricate and desperate affairs. The curate represented every thing
+in the right point of view, with great discretion, and congratulated the
+parties concerned on the felicity they had acquired; but she whose joy
+was most vociferous was the landlady, who loudly exulted in the promise
+of Cardenio and the curate, who had undertaken to pay her with interest,
+for the damage she had sustained on Don Quixote’s account. Sancho alone,
+as we have already observed, was afflicted, unfortunate, and sad, and
+going to his master who was just awake, said, with a lamentable tone,
+‘Sir Knight of the Rueful Countenance, your worship may now sleep as
+long as you please, without giving yourself the trouble of slaying the
+giant, or restoring the princess to her throne; that whole affair is
+already brought to a conclusion.’
+
+‘I really believe what you say,’ answered the knight, ‘for I have been
+engaged with the giant, in the most obstinate and outrageous combat that
+I believe I shall ever fight in all the days of my life; with one
+back-stroke, slam went his head to the ground, and discharged such a
+quantity of blood, that it ran like rills of water along the field.’—‘Or
+rather like red wine, your worship should say,’ replied the squire; ‘for
+I must inform you, if you do not already know it, that the dead giant is
+no other than a wine bag, and the blood, eighteen gallons of good red
+wine, which was contained in its belly: the head you cut off is the
+whore my mother, and the whole affair is gone to the devil.’—‘What does
+the lunatick mean?’ said Don Quixote; ‘are you in your right senses,
+Sancho?’—‘Rise, Sir,’ resumed the squire, ‘and see what a fine piece of
+work you have made, and what a score you have run. You shall behold the
+queen converted into a private lady, called Dorothea, with many other
+strange events, at which, if you take them right, you will be hugely,
+astonished.’—‘I shall not wonder at any thing of that kind,’ replied his
+master; ‘for thou may’st remember, the last time we were in this house,
+I told thee that every incident which happened was conducted and brought
+about by inchantment, so that we need not be surprized if the same power
+should prevail at present.’—‘I should be of your worship’s opinion,’
+answered Sancho, ‘if my blanketting had been of the same stamp; but that
+was not the case, for it was really and truly a substantial tossing.
+This very innkeeper whom we saw to-day, held a corner of the blanket,
+and canted me into the air with great strength and nimbleness, passing a
+thousand waggish jokes, and laughing at me all the while; from whence I
+concluded, simple and sinner as I am, that as I knew their persons,
+there was no inchantment in the case, but abundance of bruising and bad
+fortune.’—‘Well, heaven will make thee amends,’ said the knight;
+‘meanwhile reach me my clothes; for I want to go forth and examine those
+events and transformations which thou hast mentioned.’
+
+While Sancho was helping him to dress, the curate gave Don Fernando and
+his company an account of Don Quixote’s madness, and the artifice they
+had used to disengage him from the poor rock to which he imagined
+himself exiled by the disdain of his mistress. He also recounted all
+those adventures that Sancho had imparted to him, at which they were not
+a little surprized, and laughed immoderately; agreeing in opinion with
+every body who knew the knight, that it was the strangest extravagance
+that ever entered a disturbed imagination. The priest moreover observed,
+that since the good fortune of Dorothea obstructed the progress of their
+design, there was a necessity for inventing another plan that should
+bring him home to his own house. Cardenio proposed that they should
+prosecute the scheme they had already begun; and Lucinda would act and
+represent the part of Dorothea. ‘No,’ said Don Fernando, ‘that must not
+be: Dorothea shall still proceed with her own invention; for, as it
+cannot be far from hence to the habitation of that honest gentleman, I
+shall be glad to contribute towards his cure.’ And when he understood
+that they would arrive in two days at his house; ‘Were it farther off,’
+said he, ‘I should go with pleasure to assist in such a laudable
+design.’
+
+At that instant Don Quixote came forth, armed at all points, with
+Mambrino’s helmet, battered as it was, upon his head, his shield braced
+upon his arm, and his pole or lance in his hand. Don Fernando and his
+companions were amazed at this strange apparition, when they beheld such
+a rueful length of face, so withered and tawney, together with his
+ill-sorted armour, and the solemnity of his gait. They gazed upon him in
+silent expectation of what he would say; while he, with infinite gravity
+of aspect, fixing his eyes upon Dorothea, accosted her in these words;
+‘Fair lady, I am informed by this my squire, that your greatness is
+annihilated, and your quality undone, by being changed from your former
+rank of queen and sovereign princess, into the condition of a private
+damsel. If this hath been done by the necromancy of the king your
+father, who is perhaps afraid that I should not be able to give you the
+assistance required, I say he neither knows, nor ever did know, the half
+of that art which he professeth, and that he is but little conversant in
+the history of chivalry; for had he read and perused it with such
+leisure and attention as I have bestowed upon that subject, he would
+have found, that on every occasion, knights of much less reputation than
+I possess, have atchieved much more difficult enterprizes than this, it
+being a matter of small moment to kill a pitiful giant, let him be as
+arrogant as he will; for not many hours ago, I saw myself engaged with
+one,—but I chuse to be silent rather than have my veracity called in
+question, though time, that unmasks all things, will shew when we least
+expect it—’
+
+‘That you was engaged with wine-bags, and not with a giant!’ cried the
+innkeeper; who was silenced by Don Fernando, and forbid to interrupt the
+knight’s discourse in any shape whatever. So that Don Quixote proceeded,
+saying, ‘In fine, if the father of your disinterested highness hath
+performed this metamorphosis on your person, for the causes I have
+mentioned, I hope you will give no credit to such considerations; for
+there is no danger upon earth through which my sword will not open a
+way, and by laying the head of your adversary in the dust in a few days,
+invest yours with that crown to which you have an undoubted right.’
+
+Here Don Quixote left off speaking, in expectation of a reply from the
+princess, who knowing it was Don Fernando’s pleasure that she should
+continue the deceit, until the knight could be brought back to his own
+house, answered with equal gravity and grace, ‘Whosoever hath told you,
+most valiant Knight of the Rueful Countenance, that I am changed and
+transformed from what I was, has not adhered to the truth in his
+information: indeed I am somewhat changed by certain fortunate events
+which have happened even beyond my own expectation; but; nevertheless, I
+have not ceased to be what I was, nor altered that resolution which I
+have always maintained, of taking the advantage of your valiant and
+invincible arm. Wherefore, dear Sir, be so good as to do justice to the
+honour of the father who begat me, and look upon him as a man of
+sagacity and foresight; since, by the science he possessed, he found
+such an easy and effectual path to the cure of my misfortune; for I
+firmly believe, that were it not for you, I should not now be so happy
+as I am, as the greatest part of these gentlemen can truly witness.
+Nothing then remains, but that we set out to-morrow, because we could
+not propose to travel far to-day; and as for the success on which my
+hopes are built, I leave it entirely to God, and the worth of your
+heroick breast.’
+
+Don Quixote hearing these words, turned to Sancho in the most violent
+indignation, saying, ‘I protest, sirrah! you are the most malicious
+little slanderer in Spain. Say, you rascal—you vagabond—did not you tell
+me just now, that the princess was transformed into a private
+gentlewoman called Dorothea; and that the head, which I know I cut from
+the giant’s shoulders, was the whore your mother; with many more foolish
+particulars, which threw me into the greatest confusion that I ever felt
+since I was born? By Heaven!’ (here he turned up his eyes and bit his
+lips) ‘I have a strong inclination to commit such slaughter upon thee,
+as will be an instructive warning[96] to all the lying squires who shall
+henceforth attend knights-errant, in the course of their adventures.’
+
+‘Pray be pacified, good your worship!’ cried Sancho: ‘I may possibly be
+deceived in what concerns the change of my Lady Princess Micomicona; but
+as to the giant’s head being a wine-bag, and the blood no other than
+good red wine, I am not mistaken, as I shall answer to God; for the
+skins that were slashed are still to be seen by your worship’s bed-side,
+and the whole room is flooded with the wine. But the proof of the
+pudding is in the eating of it[97]; you will be convinced when Mr.
+What-d’ye call him our landlord here makes out a bill of the damage he
+has suffered. As to the rest, I am rejoiced from my soul, to find that
+the queen’s majesty is the same as usual, because it concerns me, as
+well as any other neighbour’s child.’—‘I tell thee, Sancho,’ replied Don
+Quixote, ‘that thou art distracted; forgive me, that is enough.’—‘Enough
+in all conscience,’ said Don Fernando; ‘there is nothing more to be said
+on this subject. I think the princess judges very prudently in deferring
+her journey till to-morrow, because the day is already far advanced; let
+us therefore spend this night in agreeable conversation, and at the
+approach of day, we will in a body attend the gallant Don Quixote, that
+we may be witnesses of the unheard-of exploits which he will doubtless
+perform in the course of this vast enterprize he hath undertaken.’—‘It
+is my duty and resolution to serve and attend you,’ answered the knight;
+‘and I have the most grateful sense of your favour and good opinion,
+which I shall endeavour to justify, though it should cost me my life, or
+even more—if more I can pay.’
+
+Many compliments and proffers of service passed between Don Fernando and
+Don Quixote; but they were interrupted by the arrival of a traveller,
+who, by his garb, seemed to be a Christian slave lately escaped from
+Barbary; for he was clad in a coat of blue cloth, wanting a collar, with
+short skirts and half-sleeves; his breeches and cap were of the same
+stuff; and he wore date-coloured buskins, with a Moorish scymitar flung
+in a shoulder-belt across his breast. He was followed by a woman dressed
+in the Moorish habit, mounted upon an ass, with a veil over her face, a
+brocaded bonnet on her head, and a mantle that flowed from her shoulders
+to her heels. The man was robust, and well-proportioned, seemingly
+turned of forty, with a brownish complexion, large whiskers, and a
+well-furnished beard; in short, his mean was so genteel, that if he had
+been properly dressed, they would have taken him for a man of birth and
+quality.
+
+Soon as he entered the gate, he called for a private apartment, and
+seemed very much concerned, when he understood that all the rooms of the
+inn were engaged; however, he went to the lady in Moorish dress, and
+lifted her off in his arms. Upon which Lucinda, Dorothea, the landlady,
+her daughter, and Maritornes, flocked around her; their curiosity being
+excited by the novelty of the garb, which none of them had ever seen
+before; and Dorothea, who was always good-humoured, mannerly, and
+discreet, concluding that both she and her conductor were chagrined at
+their want of a chamber, spoke to her thus: ‘Be not uneasy, Madam, at
+your want of accommodation here; it is the inconvenience of almost all
+inns; but if you will be pleased to partake with us, (pointing to
+Lucinda) perhaps you will find that in the course of your journey you
+have been fain to put up with harder fare.’ The veiled lady made no
+answer; but only rising from her seat, signified her thanks by crossing
+her hands upon her bosom, bending her body, and bowing her head; so that
+from her silence they conjectured that she must be a native Moor, and
+that she could not speak any Christian language.
+
+Her attendant, who had hitherto been employed in something else,
+perceiving that the company had made a circle about his companion, who
+could make no replies to their interrogations, said to them, ‘Ladies,
+this young woman understands little or no Spanish, and speaks no
+language but that of her own country; so that she is incapable of
+answering any questions you may have asked.’—‘We have asked no
+questions,’ said Lucinda, ‘but only made her an offer of our company for
+this night, with a share of our lodging, and what accommodation is to be
+had: and this we tender with that hearty good-will which obliges us to
+serve all strangers, especially those of our own sex who stand in need
+of our assistance.’—‘Dear Madam,’ replied the conductor, ‘in her name,
+and in my own, I return you a thousand thanks, and highly esteem your
+proffered favour, which on this occasion, and from such persons as your
+appearance proclaims you to be, must certainly be very kind and
+condescending.’—‘Signior,’ said Dorothea, ‘is this lady Christian or
+Moor? By her silence and her dress, we are induced to believe she is not
+what we could wish her to be.’—‘In her body and dress,’ replied the
+stranger, ‘she is a Moor, but altogether a Christian in her soul; for
+she longs ardently to be a professed convert to our faith.’—‘Then she is
+not baptized?’ resumed Lucinda. ‘She has had no opportunity,’ said the
+captive, ‘since she quitted Algiers, which is her native country; and
+hitherto hath never been in such imminent danger of her life, as to make
+it necessary before she is instructed in all the ceremonies enjoined by
+our holy mother church; but, if it please Heaven, she shall be baptized
+very soon, with decency suitable to the quality of her person, which is
+greater than either her dress or mine seems to declare.’
+
+This intimation raised the curiosity of all the spectators, to know who
+this Moor and captive were; but nobody chose to ask the question at that
+time, which seemed more proper for reposing themselves than relating the
+history of their lives. Dorothea taking her by the hand, seated the
+stranger close by her side, and entreated her to take off the veil; she
+looked at her conductor, as if she wanted to know what the lady desired,
+and he told her in Arabick, that they entreated her to be uncovered; at
+the same time, advising her to comply with their request. She
+accordingly unveiled herself, and discovered a face so amiable, that
+Dorothea thought her handsomer than Lucinda, who, in her turn, gave her
+the preference to Dorothea; and all present concluded, that if any
+creature upon earth could vie with them in beauty, it was this Moorish
+lady, who, in the opinion of some of the company, excelled them both in
+certain particulars. As beauty, therefore, has the privilege and energy
+to conciliate minds and attract affections, every body present was
+seized with an inclination to serve and cherish the charming Moor. Don
+Fernando asked her name of the captive, who answered, ‘Lela Zorayda.’
+This she no sooner heard, than understanding the question which had been
+put to the Christian, she pronounced with great eagerness and sweetness
+of concern, ‘No, no Zorayda; Maria, Maria!’ signifying that her name was
+Maria, and not Zorayda: these words, with the affecting manner in which
+they were expressed, brought tears from the eyes of some of the hearers,
+especially the women, who are naturally tender and compassionate.
+Lucinda embraced her affectionately, saying, ‘Yes, yes, Maria, Maria.’
+And to this the Moor replied, ‘Yes, yes, Maria; Zorayda, ‘_macange_;’
+which, in the Arabick, signifies ‘_No_.’
+
+Meanwhile it grew late, and the innkeeper, by order of Don Fernando’s
+attendants, prepared with great diligence and care, as good a repast as
+he could possibly provide; so that when supper-time arrived, they sat
+down all together at a long hall-table, for there was neither a round
+nor square one in the house. They forced the head and principal seat, in
+spite of all his excuses on Don Quixote, who desired that the Princess
+Micomicona might sit by the side of her protector; next to her, Lucinda
+and Zorayda placed themselves, being fronted by Fernando and Cardenio,
+at whose left-hand sat the captive and the other gentlemen, while the
+curate and the barber took their station close to the ladies. In this
+manner they supped with vast satisfaction, which was still increased,
+when Don Quixote leaving off eating, and inspired by the same spirit
+that moved him to harangue among the goat-herds, began the following
+dissertation: ‘Verily, gentlemen, if it be duly considered, great and
+unexpected events are seen by those who profess the order of
+knight-errantry. What inhabitant of this earth, if he should now enter
+the gates of this castle, and behold us seated in this manner, could
+conceive or credit that we are what we are? Who could imagine, that this
+lady on my right-hand is the great queen whom we all know her to be; and
+that I am the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, so celebrated by the
+voice of fame? Now there is no manner of doubt, that this exercise and
+art exceeds all others hitherto invented by man, and that it ought to be
+more esteemed, because it is more exposed to danger. Away with those who
+give letters the preference over arms! I affirm, that such people,
+whosoever they are, know not what they say; for the sole reason to which
+they adhere, in this decision, is, that the labour of the body is
+exceeded by that of the mind; and that the profession of arms is
+altogether as corporeal as the exercise and office of a common
+day-labourer, that requires nothing more than bodily strength; as if
+that which is called soldiership by us who profess it, did not include
+acts of valour which none but persons of uncommon genius could execute;
+or, as if the toil of a warrior who has the charge of an army, or
+commands in a town that is besieged, doth not affect the mind as well as
+the body. Is it to be supposed, that by mere corporeal strength he can
+penetrate and discover the intention of the enemy? To anticipate
+designs, baffle stratagems, surmount difficulties, and prevent the
+mischief that is to be dreaded, are all efforts of the understanding, in
+which the body hath no share; if the profession of arms, therefore,
+requires genius, as well as that of letters, let us see which of the two
+requires most mental toil: and this question may be determined by
+considering the end and aim of each; for that occupation deserves the
+highest esteem, which hath the noblest purpose in view, the end and
+scope of letters. I speak not here of that divine learning, whose aim is
+to raise and conduct the soul to Heaven; to an end so infinite, no
+intention whatever can be compared. I speak of human learning, the
+ultimate end of which is to regulate distributive justice, render to
+every one his due, and to understand and to protect the equitable laws:
+an aim certainly generous and highly commendable! yet not so deserving
+of the most sublime praise as the profession of arms, the object and the
+end of which is peace, the greatest good that mortals can enjoy; for the
+first blessed news which this world and mankind heard, were those
+pronounced by the angels, on that night which was our day, when they
+sung in the air, “Glory be to God on high; and on earth, peace and good
+will towards men!” and the salutation, which the best Master, either in
+heaven or upon earth, taught his adherents and favourites; which was to
+say when they entered any house, “Peace be to this house!” Nay, he
+himself at different times, said, “My peace I give unto you! My peace I
+leave with you! Peace be among you!” A jewel and legacy well worthy of
+him who left it! a jewel, without which there can be no felicity, either
+on earth or in heaven! This peace is the genuine aim of war; for arms
+and war are the same; and this being taken for granted, the end of war
+is nobler than that of learning; wherefore let us next consider the
+bodily toil sustained by each, that we may see on which side the balance
+lies in that particular.’
+
+In this sensible manner did Don Quixote continue his discourse, from
+which nobody that heard him could distinguish that he was mad; on the
+contrary, his audience confiding chiefly of gentlemen, to which title
+the profession of arms is annexed, they listened with great pleasure,
+while he proceeded thus.
+
+‘The hardships of a student, I say, are these; first of all, poverty,
+(not that all students are poor, but that we may suppose the worst that
+can happen) and when I have named his indigence, the whole of his
+misfortune is mentioned; for he that is poor can enjoy nothing that is
+good, but must endure necessity in all its forms; sometimes hunger,
+sometimes cold, sometimes nakedness, and often all three together.
+Nevertheless, his necessity is not so great, but that he eats, though
+perhaps later than usual, or though he may feed upon the leavings of the
+rich, or which is the greatest misery to which a scholar can be reduced,
+go a-sopping[98], as they term it; then they are always admitted to some
+charitable person’s fire-side or chimney-corner, where, if they cannot
+warm themselves effectually, they may at least defy the cold; and at
+night they sleep under cover. I need not descend to minute particulars;
+such as want of linen, scarcity of shoes, flimsy and thread-bare
+cloaths, nor the surfeits which they so eagerly incur, when their good
+fortune sets a plentiful table in their way. By this path, rough and
+difficult as I have already described it, after many tumblings,
+slidings, risings, and fallings, they at last attain to the wished
+degree, which being gained, we have seen many who have passed with a
+favourable gale of fortune, through these quicksands and straits of
+Scylla and Charybdis; I say, we have seen many such command and dictate
+to the world, from a chair of state; their hunger being changed into
+satiety, their cold into refreshment, their rags into gay apparel, and
+the matts on which they lay, to the richest damask and finest holland: a
+recompence which their merit most justly enjoys! but their labours, when
+fairly stated and compared, are infinitely short of the warrior’s, as I
+shall now clearly demonstrate.’
+
+Footnote 96:
+
+ In the original, ‘As will put salt in the skull.’
+
+Footnote 97:
+
+ Literally, ‘You shall see when the eggs are fried.’ A phrase alluding
+ to the story of a thief, who having stole a frying-pan, and being
+ asked by the owner what he carried under his cloak, replied, ‘You will
+ see when the eggs are fried.’ Metaphorically, ‘Time will discover.’
+
+Footnote 98:
+
+ Alluding to the charity given at the gates of monasteries.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XI.
+ THE SEQUEL OF DON QUIXOTE’S CURIOUS DISCOURSE, ON THE SUBJECTS OF
+ LEARNING AND WAR.
+
+
+The knight proceeded thus: ‘Since we began with the student,
+representing his poverty in all its circumstances, let us see if the
+soldier be more wealthy: and we shall find that poverty itself is not
+poorer; for he is restricted to his miserable pay, which comes always
+late, if ever, or to what he can plunder by force with the imminent
+danger of his life and conscience; and frequently his nakedness is such,
+that his slashed buff doublet serves him instead of coat, shirt, and all
+other parts of apparel. In a winter campaign, while he remains in the
+open field, he has nothing to mitigate the severity of the cold, but his
+own breath, which, as it proceeds from an empty place, must, I believe,
+be cold, contrary to all the rules of nature: but stay till the approach
+of night, when it is to be hoped his bed will make amends for all these
+inconveniencies; and this, if it be not his own fault, will never offend
+in point of narrowness, for he may measure as many feet of ground as he
+thinks sufficient, and there tumble about at pleasure, without any
+danger of discomposing the sheets. Then, instead of the day and hour of
+receiving the degrees of his art, comes the day of battle, in which his
+head is adorned with the doctoral tossle, made in form of a pledgit, to
+stuff the wound made by some ball, which perhaps hath gone through his
+temples, or left him maimed of a leg or arm; and even if this should not
+happen, but merciful Heaven guard and preserve him safe and sound, he
+continues as poor as ever; he must risk himself in several more
+rencounters and battles, and be victorious in each, before his
+circumstances be bettered; but these miracles rarely happen. Tell me,
+gentlemen, have you considered what a small proportion those who make
+their fortunes by war bear to those who perish in the field? Doubtless,
+you must answer that there is no sort of comparison; that the slain are
+scarce to be numbered, while the living who are recompensed for their
+services, may be comprehended within three figures of arithmetick[99].
+The case of the learned is quite the reverse[100]; for, one way or
+another, they are all provided: so that, though the toil of a soldier is
+greater, his reward is much less. To this observation, it may be
+replied, that it is far more easy to reward two thousand scholars than
+thirty thousand soldiers; for the first are recompensed with offices,
+which must of course be bestowed on people of their profession; whereas,
+the others can enjoy no reward, except a share of the property belonging
+to their master whom they serve: even this impossibility strengthens my
+asseveration.
+
+‘But waving that consideration, which would lead us into a most
+intricate labyrinth, let us return to the pre-eminence which arms have
+over learning; a point hitherto undecided, of such force are the reasons
+alledged on both sides of the question; one of which, in favour of the
+last, is, that without letters, the profession of arms could not be
+supported, because there are laws to which war itself is subject; and
+all laws fall within the province of letters and learned men. To this
+observation, the partizans of the other opinion reply, that no laws
+could be maintained without arms, which preserve the constitution,
+defend kingdoms, guard cities, scour the highways, and clear the seas of
+piratical corsairs. In short, that without arms, all republicks,
+kingdoms, monarchies, cities, journies by land, and voyages by sea,
+would be exposed to the horror and confusion that attend unbridled war,
+while it continues in all its licentious privilege and force. It is a
+general and established maxim, that every thing ought to be esteemed in
+proportion to what it costs. Now, to become eminent in letters, costs
+the student much time, watching, hunger, nakedness, vertigoes,
+indigestion, and their consequences, which are in part mentioned above:
+but, to acquire in a regular manner the character of a good soldier, a
+man must undergo all these inconveniences in an incomparably greater
+degree; because he is every moment in danger of losing his life. What
+fear of indigence and poverty can seize and harrass the student’s
+apprehension, equal to that which must possess the soldier besieged in a
+fortress, who being placed centinel or guard in some ravelin or
+cavalier[101], perceives the enemy at work undermining the very spot
+whereon he stands, without daring to stir from his post, or avoid the
+danger by which he is so imminently threatened? All he can do, is to
+give notice of what passes to his captain, who must endeavour to baffle
+the foe by some countermine, while he remains upon the place in terror
+and expectation of being suddenly whirled aloft into the clouds without
+wings, and of falling thence headlong into the profound abyss: if this
+danger seems inconsiderable, let us see whether it be equalled or
+exceeded in the grappling of two gallies, by their prows, in the midst
+of the extended ocean; when they are locked and fastened into each
+other, and the soldier hath not an inch more than two feet of the beak
+to stand upon, while he sees himself threatened and opposed by as many
+ministers of death as there are cannon in the enemy’s vessel, and these
+within a spear’s length of his body; and is sensible, that if his feet
+should chance to slip, he would instantly visit the profound bosom of
+the sea; yet, nevertheless, with an intrepid heart, incited and
+transported by honour, he bears the brunt of their whole artillery, and
+endeavours by that narrow passage to board the adverse vessel; and, what
+is very much to be admired, is, that as soon as one falls, never to rise
+again till the general resurrection, another occupies his place; and
+should he also drop into the sea, which, like an enemy, gapes to devour
+him, another and another still succeeds, without the smallest
+intermission: an instance of gallantry and boldness the greatest to be
+found in all the extremities of war. Happy were the ages past, while
+strangers to those infernal instruments of artillery, the author of
+which is, I firmly believe, now in hell, enjoying the reward of his
+diabolical invention, that puts it in the power of an infamous coward to
+deprive the most valiant cavalier of life; for, often in the heat of
+that courage and resolution that fires and animates the gallant breast,
+there comes a random ball, how or from whence no man can tell, shot off,
+perhaps, by one that fled, and was afraid at the flash of his own
+accursed machine, and, in an instant, puts an end to the schemes and
+exigence of a man who deserved to live for ages. This very consideration
+makes me almost own, that I am sorry for having chosen this profession
+of a knight-errant in this detestable age; for, though no danger can
+daunt my resolution, it gives me some uneasiness to think that powder
+and shot may deprive me of the opportunity of making myself famous and
+renowned through the whole globe, for the valour of my arm, and the
+keenness of my sword: but, let the will of Heaven be fulfilled! if I
+accomplish my aim, I shall be more esteemed, because I have faced more
+danger than ever was incurred by the knights-errant in ages past.’
+
+While the rest of the company were employed in eating, this long
+harangue was uttered by Don Quixote, who never thought of swallowing a
+morsel; though Sancho frequently put him in mind of eating his supper,
+observing, that he would afterwards have time enough to say what he
+pleased. The hearers were moved with fresh concern, at seeing a man, who
+in every other subject seemed to have a large share of sense and
+discernment, lose it so irrecoverably, whenever the discourse turned
+upon the cursed mischievous theme of chivalry. The curate observed, that
+there was a great deal of reason in what he had advanced in favour of
+arms; and that he himself, though a graduate, consequently a man of
+letters, was entirely of the knight’s opinion.
+
+Supper being ended, and the table uncovered, while the landlady, her
+daughter, and Maritornes, were busied in fitting up the garret of Don
+Quixote de La Mancha, in which it was determined the three ladies should
+pass the night by themselves; Don Fernando intreated the captive to
+recount the story of his life, which he imagined must be both uncommon
+and entertaining, from the specimen they had already seen, in his
+arriving thus equipped, in company with the fair Zorayda. To this
+request the stranger answered, that he would willingly obey his command,
+though he was afraid the company would not find the relation to their
+liking; but, nevertheless, rather than fail in point of obedience, he
+was ready to make it. The curate and whole company thanked him for his
+complaisance, and joined in the request; and he seeing himself besought
+by so many, said there was no occasion for entreaties, where they might
+so effectually command: ‘Lend me your attention, therefore, and you
+shall hear a true story, perhaps unequalled by those fictions which are
+usually adorned with all the curious and profound artifice of
+composition.’
+
+At this preamble, all present adjusted and composed themselves; and he
+perceiving the general silence in which they waited for the performance
+of his promise, began in this manner, with a grave and agreeable voice.
+
+Footnote 99:
+
+ I. e. Do not amount to 1000, which is a number expressed by four
+ figures.
+
+Footnote 100:
+
+ The literal translation is, ‘For, from the skirts—for I would not
+ mention the ‘sleeves.’ The Spaniards, instead of the English phrase,
+ ‘By Hook or by Crook,’ use this of ‘From the sleeves, or the skirts;’
+ derived from the practice of taylors, who are supposed to cabbage from
+ those parts of the habit in which there is the greatest quantity of
+ cloth; but the knight’s exception of sleeves, on this occasion, seems
+ to have proceeded from a supposition that poor scholars are generally
+ provided for in the church, and consequently wear cassocks, which
+ descend to the heels.
+
+Footnote 101:
+
+ Cavalier is an artificial mount raised in a fortress for the
+ convenience of scouring a field, or opposing a commanding work of the
+ enemy.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XII.
+ IN WHICH THE CAPTIVE RECOUNTS HIS LIFE AND ADVENTURES.
+
+
+‘In a certain place among the mountains of Leon, my family had its
+origin; more beholden to the liberality of nature than to the smiles of
+fortune: though, amidst the narrowness of circumstances, which prevails
+in that country, my father had the reputation of being rich, and really
+was so, had he possessed the art of preserving, as he practised the
+means of spending his estate. This liberal and profuse disposition was
+owing to his having been a soldier in his youth, the army being a school
+in which the miser becomes generous, and the benevolent man grows
+prodigal; for a covetous soldier is a monster which is rarely seen. My
+father exceeded the bounds of liberality, and bordered upon those of
+prodigality; a disposition of very little service to a married man who
+has children to succeed him in rank as well as name: and he had no less
+than three; all of them sons, already at an age to chuse for themselves.
+The old gentleman finding it impossible, as he said, to resist the bent
+of his inclination, was resolved to deprive himself of the means that
+induced and enabled him to spend so lavishly, by giving up his estate;
+as without money Alexander himself must have seemed frugal.
+
+‘One day, therefore, calling us all three together into his chamber, he
+delivered himself in these or the like words: “Sons, to say I love you,
+is no more than to say and know you are my own children; though it would
+seem that I do not love you, by my squandering away the fortune which is
+your due. But that you may be henceforth convinced that I love you like
+a true parent, rather than seek your destruction like a step-father, I
+am resolved to execute a plan which I have formed a good while ago, and
+digested with the most mature deliberation. You are now of an age to
+chuse settlements for yourselves, or at least to pitch upon employments
+which, in your riper years, may conduce to your honour and advantage. My
+intention is to divide my estate into four equal parts, three of which
+you shall receive among you, in equal shares, without the least
+difference or distinction; and the fourth I will reserve for my own
+sustenance and support, while Heaven will be pleased to protract the
+days of my life. But after you have received your portions, I should be
+glad to find you inclined to follow the paths which I shall propose. We
+have a saying in Spain, which I believe is very true, as indeed all
+proverbs are, because they are short sentences dictated by long and sage
+experience; that which I mean, contains no more than these words: The
+church, the court, or the sea; as if it more fully expressed the
+following advice, ‘He that would make his fortune, ought either to
+dedicate his time to the church, go to sea as a merchant, or attach
+himself to the court,’ for it is commonly observed that, ‘The king’s
+crumb is worth the baron’s batch.’ This I mention, because I wish and
+desire that one of you would follow letters, another merchandize, and a
+third serve his sovereign in the field, since it is difficult to obtain
+an office at court: and although much wealth cannot be expected, there
+is a great deal of valour and reputation to be acquired in war. In eight
+days I will give each of you his share, in ready-money, without
+defrauding you of one farthing, as you will see by my distribution. Tell
+me, therefore, if you are willing to follow my advice in what I have
+proposed?” said my father, addressing himself to me as the eldest. After
+having dissuaded him from parting with his estate, and desired him to
+spend as much of it as he pleased, observing, that we were young men,
+and capable of making our own fortunes, I concluded with saying, I would
+obey his will, and for my own part, chuse to serve God and my king, in
+adhering to the exercise of arms. My second brother made the same offer,
+proposing to set sail for the Indies, and employ his stock of
+ready-money in traffick. The youngest, and I believe the wisest, said he
+would qualify himself for the church, by going and finishing his studies
+at Salamanca.
+
+‘We having thus agreed in the choice of our different employments, our
+father embraced us all affectionately, and within the time he had
+proposed, performed his promise of giving us our portions, which to the
+best of my remembrance amounted to three thousand ducats each; for an
+uncle of ours paid ready-money for the whole estate, that it might not
+be alienated from the family. In one day, all three took leave of our
+worthy father; when I thinking it a piece of inhumanity to leave him so
+straitened in his old age, prevailed upon him to accept two thousand of
+the three I had received, as the remainder was sufficient to accommodate
+me with all the necessaries of a soldier. Each of my brothers, induced
+by my example, gave him back one-third of their shares; so that he
+remained possessed of four thousand ducats in cash, and the value of
+three thousand more in land, which he did not chuse to sell. At length,
+I say, we took leave of him, and that uncle whom I have mentioned, not
+without great concern and many tears on all sides; they charging us to
+seize every opportunity of making them acquainted with our adventures,
+either in prosperity or adversity. Having given this promise, and
+received their embraces and blessing, one took the road to Salamanca,
+another went to Seville, and I set out for Alicant, where I understood
+there was a ship taking in a lading of wool for Genoa. Two and twenty
+years are now elapsed since I left my father’s house; and during all
+that time, though I have written several letters, I never received the
+least information concerning him or my brothers. What hath happened to
+myself within that period, I will now briefly relate.
+
+‘Embarking at Alicant, I had a favourable passage to Genoa, from whence
+I went to Milan, where I provided myself with arms and some gay military
+furniture. Then I departed for Piedmont, with a resolution of inlisting
+in the service; and being upon the road to Alexandria de la Paglia, was
+informed that the great duke of Alva was on his march into Flanders.
+Upon receiving this intimation, I changed my design, attended him to the
+Low Countries, served in all his campaigns, and was present at the death
+of the counts Egmont and Horn. There I obtained an ensign’s commission
+in the company of a famous captain of Guadalajara, whose name was Diego
+de Urbina: but after I had been some time in Flanders, the news arrived
+of the league between his Holiness Pope Pius the Fifth of happy memory,
+and the Spanish monarchy, against their common enemy the Turk, who about
+that time had, by means of his fleet, made a conquest of the famous
+island of Cyrus, which was under the dominion of the Venetians; a most
+lamentable and unfortunate loss. It was certainly known that the most
+serene Don John of Austria, natural brother to our good King Philip, was
+to be general of this league; and the vast preparations for this war
+were publickly reported. All these rumours raised and excited within me
+the desire and resolution of being present in a campaign of such
+expectation; and though I had strong hopes, and indeed certain promises,
+of being promoted to the rank of a captain as soon as a vacancy should
+happen, I chose to quit that prospect, and go, as I actually did, to
+Italy; and luckily for me, Don John of Austria was then at Genoa, just
+going to embark for Naples, in order to join the Venetian fleet, which
+he afterwards found at Messina. In short, I served in that most happy
+campaign, and was advanced to the rank of captain of foot, which
+honourable post I obtained more by good fortune than merit, and that day
+which was so fortunate for Christendom, on which the world was convinced
+of the error they had espoused in believing the Turks invincible by sea;
+on that day, I say, when the Ottoman pride and insolence were humbled
+and broke among so many happy Christians there present, (and sure those
+who fell were happier than the living victors!) I alone was unfortunate;
+for, instead of receiving a naval crown, which would have been my
+reward, had I lived in the Roman ages, on the night that succeeded that
+glorious day, I found myself a captive loaded with chains! And this was
+the cause of my misfortune: Uchali, King of Algiers, a bold and
+fortunate corsair, having attacked and mastered the capitan galley of
+Malta, in which there remained only three knights alive, and these
+desperately wounded; the vessel commanded by John Andrea Doria, in which
+my company was stationed, hastened to her relief, and I doing my duty on
+that occasion, leaped into the enemy’s ship, which disengaging herself
+immediately from our galley, that was grappled with her, my soldiers
+were prevented from following their officer, and I found myself alone
+among my foes, whom, by reason of their numbers, I could not resist;
+therefore was obliged to submit after having been almost covered over
+with wounds; and Uchali, as you have heard, gentlemen, having saved
+himself with his whole squadron, I remained his prisoner, the only sad
+person amidst the general joy, and captive among so many that were set
+free; for full fifteen thousand Christians who came into the action
+chained to the Turkish oars, that day recovered their long wished for
+liberty.
+
+‘I was carried to Constantinople, where Selim, the grand Turk, created
+my master general of the sea, for having done his duty in the battle,
+and as a proof of his valour brought off the high standard of Malta.
+Next year, which was that of seventy-two, I rowed in the capitan galley
+of the Three Lanthorns, at Navarino, where I saw and observed the
+Christians lose the opportunity of taking the whole Turkish fleet in the
+harbour; for, all the Levantines and Janissaries belonging to it laid
+their account with being attacked in port, and had actually got in
+readiness their knapsacks and passamaques, (which are a kind of shoes)
+in order to go on shore, and seek their safety in flight, without
+waiting for the assault; such was the consternation that prevailed among
+them! But Heaven ordained things to happen in another manner; not
+through any error or neglect of the general who commanded the
+expedition, but on account of the sins of Christendom; it being the will
+and permission of God, that we should never want executioners to
+chastise us. In short, Uchali retreated to Modon, which is an island
+almost contiguous to Navarino, where he disembarked his men, fortified
+the mouth of the harbour, and remained until Don John set sail on his
+return. In this expedition, the galley called the Prize, commanded by a
+son of the famous corsair Barbarossa, was taken by the capitan galley of
+Naples called the She-wolf, the commander of which was that thunderbolt
+of war, that father of his soldiers, that fortunate and invincible
+chief, Don Alvaro de Basan, marquis of Santa Cruz: and I cannot help
+mentioning what happened at the taking of this prize. The son of
+Barbarossa was so cruel, and treated his captives so inhumanly, that
+when the rowers perceived the She-wolf ready to board, and in a fair way
+of taking her, they quitted their oars all at once, and seizing the
+captain, who stood upon the strentrel[102], calling to them to row
+lustily, they tossed him forwards from bench to bench, and bit him so
+severely as he went along, that before he passed the main-mast, his soul
+passed into hell. Such was his barbarity, as I have already observed,
+and such the revenge which their hatred to him inspired!
+
+‘We returned to Constantinople; and during the following year, which was
+seventy-three, understood that Don John had taken Tunis, wrested that
+whole kingdom from the Turks, and put Muley Hamet in possession of the
+whole; thus cutting off all the hopes of a restoration from Muley
+Hamida, the most valiant and most cruel Moor of his time. The grand
+Signior was deeply affected with his loss, and practising that sagacity
+which is peculiar to all those of his family, clapped up a peace with
+the Venetians, who were much more desirous of it than he. Next year,
+being seventy-four, he attacked the goleta and fort, which Don John had
+left half-finished, near Tunis: and on all these occasions I was
+present, being tied to the oar, without the least hope of freedom,
+especially by ransom; for, I was resolved not to write to my father an
+account of my misfortune. At length, the goleta and fort were both lost,
+having been besieged by seventy-five thousand Turkish soldiers,
+regularly paid, and upwards of four hundred thousand Moors and Arabs
+from the other parts of Africa; this multitude being provided with a
+vast quantity of warlike stores and ammunition, and attended with such a
+number of pioneers, that, by throwing handfuls of earth, they might have
+covered both the places they came to besiege. The goleta, which had been
+counted impregnable, was first taken; not through any fault of the
+besieged, who performed all that men could do in its defence, but
+because experience shewed that trenches could be made with ease in that
+loose sand, under which, though water was commonly found at the depth of
+two spans, the Turks, at that time, dug as many fathoms, without finding
+one drop; and so filling a vast number of sacks, raised their works so
+high as to overlook the fort; then mounting this cavalier with cannon,
+kept such a firing as rendered it impossible for the garrison to make
+any longer defence. It was a common opinion, that our troops ought not
+to have shut themselves up in the goleta, but opposed the disembarkation
+in the plain; however, those who talk in that manner, speak at random,
+and must be persons of small experience in such affairs; for, if the
+whole garrison in both places scarce amounted to seven thousand
+soldiers, how could such a small number, though ever so valiant, take
+the field, and at the same time defend the forts, against such a
+multitude of foes? And how could the forts be possibly maintained
+without supplies, in an enemy’s country, when they were hemmed in by
+such a numerous and obstinate army? But others thought, and I am of the
+same opinion, that Heaven manifested a particular grace and favour to
+Spain, in permitting them to destroy that rendezvous and pretence of
+mischief, that sink, spunge, and devourer of infinite sums of money,
+which were there unprofitably spent, without serving any other purpose
+than that of preserving the memory of its being the most happy conquest
+of the invincible Charles the Fifth: as if it was necessary for those
+stones to support his fame, which is already immortal. The fort was also
+yielded, though the Turks won it by inches; for the garrison behaved
+with such gallantry and resolution, that in two and twenty general
+assaults, the enemy lost upwards of twenty-five thousand men; and of the
+three hundred Spanish soldiers that remained alive, they did not make
+one prisoner who had not been wounded during the siege: a clear and
+certain proof of the obstinate valour with which the places were
+defended. A small fort, or tower, that stood in the middle of the lake,
+under the command of Don Juan Zanoguera, a Valentian knight and
+celebrated soldier, surrendered upon terms: but, Don Pedro
+Puertocarrero, general of the goleta, was made prisoner; and though he
+did all that man could do in defence of the place, he was so deeply
+affected by the loss of it, that he died of grief on the road to
+Constantinople, whither they were carrying him captive. The general of
+the fort, whose name was Gabrio Cerbellon, a Milanese gentleman, a great
+engineer, and excellent soldier, was likewise taken prisoner; and in
+these two forts perished many persons of note, among whom was one Pagan
+d’Oria, a knight of St. John, a gentleman of a most generous
+disposition, as appeared from his excessive liberality to his brother
+the famous Juan Andrea d’Oria; and what made his death still more
+lamentable, was, that he perished by the hands of some Arabs, to whom,
+seeing the fort already lost, he trusted himself, relying upon their
+promise to carry him disguised in a Moorish dress, to Tabarca, which is
+a small port or settlement belonging to the Genoese, who fish for coral
+on that part of the coast; but those perfidious Arabs cut off his head,
+which they carried to the general of the Turkish navy, who fulfilled
+upon them our Castilian proverb, which imports, that though we love the
+treason, we abhor the traitor; for it was reported, that he ordered them
+all to be hanged, because they had not brought him alive.
+
+‘Among the Christians who were taken in the fort, was one Don Pedro de
+Aguilar, a native of some town in Andalousia, who had been an ensign in
+the garrison, a soldier of great worth and rare endowments, particularly
+blessed with a happy talent for poetry. This circumstance I mention,
+because it was his fate to belong to our galley, where he was my
+companion at the oar, and fellow-slave; and before we departed from that
+harbour, he composed two songs, by way of epitaph upon the goleta and
+the fort. As I have them both by heart, I believe it will not be
+disagreeable to the company if I repeat them.’
+
+When the captive mentioned Don Pedro de Aguilar, Don Fernando looked at
+his companions, who smiled; and when the stranger was going to repeat
+the songs, one of the three said to him, ‘Before you proceed, I beg the
+favour to know what became of that Don Pedro de Aguilar?’—‘All that I
+know of the matter,’ replied the captive, ‘is, that after having staid
+two years at Constantinople, he made off in the habit of an arnaut[103],
+with a Greek spy: but I do not know whether or not he obtained his
+liberty, though I believe be succeeded; for about a year after, I saw
+the same Greek at Constantinople; but I had not an opportunity to
+enquire about the success of their scheme.’—‘Then I can satisfy you in
+that particular,’ resumed the cavalier; ‘Don Pedro is my brother, and
+now lives at home, in good health and easy circumstances, blessed with a
+wife and three hopeful sons.’——‘Thanks be to God for the great mercies
+bestowed upon him!’ answered the captive; ‘for, in my opinion, there is
+no happiness on earth equal to that of liberty regained.’—‘Besides,’
+said the gentleman, ‘I retain in my memory the songs which my brother
+composed.’—‘Be so good, then,’ replied the stranger, ‘as to entertain
+the company with them; for, doubtless, you can repeat them more
+perfectly than I can.’—‘With all my heart,’ said the cavalier: ‘that
+upon the goleta runs thus.’
+
+Footnote 102:
+
+ The strentrel, or estanterol, is a post that supports the awning of
+ the poop.
+
+Footnote 103:
+
+ A Dalmatian trooper.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIII.
+ THE CONTINUATION OF THE CAPTIVE’S HISTORY.
+
+
+ I.
+
+ “Ye happy shades, whose deeds renown’d
+ ”Have freed you from encumb’ring clay;
+ “From this low scene, where woes abound,
+ ”Ascending to eternal day.
+
+ II.
+
+ “With glorious zeal your bosoms glow’d,
+ ”Your bodies brav’d excessive toil:
+ “Your blood with that of Pagans flow’d,
+ ”To drench the hostile, barren soil.
+
+ III.
+
+ “Your lives, but not your courage, fail’d;
+ ”Death seal’d your just, victorious claim;
+ “Enjoy, still honour’d and bewail’d,
+ ”Immortal happiness and fame.“
+
+‘These are the very words which I remember,’ said the captive. ‘And if
+my memory does not fail me,’ replied the gentleman, ‘the other upon the
+fort is this.
+
+
+ I.
+
+ “Lo! from yon ruins on the desart plain,
+ ”Oppress’d with numbers, in th’ unequal fight,
+ “Three thousand souls of Christian warriors slain,
+ ”To happier regions, wing’d their joyous flight.
+
+ II.
+
+ “Yet not before in vain they had essay’d
+ ”The force and vigour of their dauntless arms;
+ “Till wearied and reduc’d, though undismay’d,
+ ”They welcom’d death, encompass’d with alarms.
+
+ III.
+
+ “On Afric’s coast, as records tell,
+ ”The scene of past and present woes,
+ “More valiant bodies never fell,
+ ”More spotless spirits never rose.“
+
+The songs were not disliked; and the captive rejoicing at the good
+fortune of his comrade, proceeded thus in his narration.
+
+‘The goleta and forts being taken, the Turks ordered the first to be
+dismantled, the other being quite demolished before it was surrendered;
+and that this might be done with the less trouble, and greater dispatch,
+it was undermined in three parts, but they could by no means blow up the
+old walls, which seemed to be the weakest part, while that which was
+executed by Fratin, was destroyed with great facility. In short, the
+victorious fleet returned in triumph to Constantinople, where, in a few
+months, happened the death of my master Uchali, who went by the name of
+Uchali Fartax, which, in the language of that country, signifies the
+Scabby Renegado; for such he actually was, and it is a custom among the
+Turks, to bestow epithets upon people, derived either from some defect
+or virtue inherent in them: this method they practise, because they have
+but four families distinguished by particular names, and these are
+descended from the house of Ottoman; so that the rest, as I have
+observed, adopt some appellation, either from the blemishes of the body,
+or the virtues of the mind. This leper, therefore, tugged at the oar,
+during fourteen years, as slave to the Grand Signior; and when he was
+turned of thirty-four, apostatized, out of resentment against a Turk,
+who struck him at the oar; renouncing his religion, that he might be
+able to revenge the affront. Such was his gallantry and conduct, that
+without practising those vile steps and methods by which the sultan’s
+favourites are raised, he was promoted to the throne of Algiers, and
+afterwards created general at sea, which is the third post in the
+empire. He was a native of Calabria, a man of good morals, and behaved
+with great humanity to his slaves, who, to the number of three thousand,
+were at his death, in consequence of his last will, divided between his
+renegadoes and the Grand Signior, who is also coheir with the children
+of all his deceased subjects. I fell to the share of a Venetian, who had
+been a common sailor when he was taken; and Uchali had such an affection
+for him, that he enjoyed the greatest share of his favour, and became
+the most cruel renegado that ever was known. This man, whose name was
+Azanaga, acquired great riches, and even succeeded to the crown of
+Algiers, to which place I accompanied him from Constantinople, with some
+degree of satisfaction, at the thoughts of being so near my own country;
+not that I intended to send home an account of my unhappy fate, but to
+see if fortune would not prove more favourable at Algiers than at
+Constantinople, where I had laid a thousand schemes for my escape,
+without having an opportunity of putting one of them in execution; but I
+was in hope of finding at Algiers some other more effectual means of
+obtaining that which I so ardently desired: for the hope of gaining my
+liberty never forsook my breast; on the contrary, when all my pains,
+efforts, and expectations, miscarried, far from abandoning myself to
+despair, I endeavoured to find out some new expedient, which though ever
+so frail and unsubstantial, served to support my spirits, and flatter my
+imagination. Thus I made shift to live within a house or prison, called
+a bath, in which the Turks confine the Christian captives, whether
+belonging to the king, or private persons, or of that class which they
+call magazine-slaves; these are the captives of the council, who serve
+the state in publick works, and other kinds of day-labour; and find
+great difficulty in obtaining their freedom, because they belong to the
+community, and have no particular master with whom they can treat
+concerning their ransom, even though they can command money for the
+purpose.
+
+‘In these baths, as I have already said, some private persons lodge
+their slaves, especially when their ransom is agreed upon; and there
+they remain secure, and at their ease, until it arrives. Neither do the
+king’s captives, who are to be ransomed, go out to work with the rest of
+the crew, except when the money is delayed; and then, that they may be
+induced to write with more importunity, they are sent out with the rest
+to cut wood, an office of no small mortification and toil. As they knew
+I had been a captain, I in vain assured them, that I had neither
+interest nor money; they put me into the number of those who were to be
+ransomed, loading me with a chain, rather to denote my condition than to
+secure my person; so that I spent my time in that bath, among a great
+many cavaliers and people of fashion, who were thus marked and designed
+for ransom; and though we were sometimes, nay, almost always exposed to
+hunger and nakedness, nothing gave us so much pain, as to hear and see,
+upon every occasion, the new and unheard of cruelties which my master
+exercised upon the Christians. He was every day hanging one, impaling
+another, maiming a third, upon such slight occasions, frequently without
+any cause assigned, that the Turks themselves owned he acted thus out of
+mere wantonness or barbarity, as being naturally of a savage
+disposition, and an inveterate enemy to the whole human race. The person
+who used the greatest freedom with him was a Spanish soldier, called
+such-a-one de Saavedra; who, though he did many things which those
+people will not soon forget, in attempting to regain his liberty, he
+never gave him one blow, nor ordered him once to be chastised, nor even
+chid him with one hasty word; and yet the least of all his pranks was
+sufficient, as we thought, to bring him to the stake: nay, he himself
+was more than once afraid of being impaled alive. If time would permit,
+I could here recount some of that soldier’s actions, which perhaps,
+might entertain and surprize you more than the relation of my own story.
+
+‘But to return to the thread of my narration: just over the yard of our
+prison were the windows of a rich and principal Moor; but, according to
+the custom of the country, they were rather like peep-holes than
+windows, and even these covered with very thick and close lattices. One
+day I chanced to be on the terrace of our gaol, with three of my
+companions, passing the time in trying which of us could leap farthest
+in our shackles, the rest of the Christians being gone out to work; I
+casually lifted up my eyes, and perceived a cane with a handkerchief
+tied to it, held out at these little openings I have mentioned, and
+waving to and fro, as if by way of signal for some of us to go and catch
+it. This object was no sooner observed, than one of my companions ran
+hastily to the place that was directly under it, to see if the cane
+would be dropped, or what would be the consequence; but when he arrived
+it was pulled up, and moved from one side to another, as if a man should
+signify his dissent from any proposal, by shaking his head: when the
+Christian returned, the cane was lowered again, with the same motion as
+at first, upon which another of our company tried the experiment, but
+succeeded no better than the first; a third went, and miscarried like
+the other two. Observing their disappointment, I was resolved to try my
+fortune also; accordingly, I had no sooner placed myself under the cane
+than it was dropped, and fell down within the bath, just at my feet. I
+snatched it up immediately, and untied the handkerchief, in which I
+found a knot containing ten zianiys, which are pieces of bad gold,
+current among the Moors, each of them valued at ten rials of our money.
+It would be superfluous to say that I rejoiced at this windfall: indeed,
+my joy was equal to my surprize; for I could not conceive from whence
+that present could come, especially to me, the circumstance of the
+cane’s being refused to every other person plainly shewing that the
+favour was intended for me. I pocketed this lucky sum, broke the cane,
+returned to the terrace, and looked at the window, through which
+appeared a very white hand, that opened the lattice, and hastily shut it
+again: from this circumstance we understood, or at least imagined, that
+we owed the present to some lady who lived in that house; and, in token
+of thanks, made our obeisance in the Moorish manner, by bowing the head,
+bending the body, and crossing the hands upon the breast. Soon after
+this ceremony, a small cross made of cane, was held out at the window,
+and immediately withdrawn: a signal which confirmed us in the opinion
+that we were befriended by some Christian woman, who lived as a slave in
+that house; but this supposition was changed, when we reflected upon the
+whiteness of the hand, and the bracelets which we had perceived; and
+then we concluded that she must be one of those Christian renegades whom
+their masters frequently take to wife; and even think themselves
+fortunate in having such an opportunity; for they esteem them much more
+than the women of their own nation. But all our conjectures were wide of
+the truth.
+
+‘From this day forward, our whole entertainment was to gaze at the
+window, as the north in which the star of the cane had appeared; but
+full fifteen days elapsed, before we had another glimpse either of that
+or the hand, or indeed of any other signal; and during this interval,
+though we endeavoured by all the means in our power to learn who lived
+in that house, and whether or not there was a Christian renegado in it,
+we never could get any other information, but that it belonged to a rich
+Moor of great note, called Agimorato, who had been alcaide of Pata, an
+office of great honour among that people; but, when we least expected
+another shower of zianiys, the cane reappeared all of a sudden, with
+another handkerchief, and a larger knot than before, and this occurrence
+happened as formerly, when none but ourselves were in the bath: we made
+the usual experiment, each of my three companions, going towards it as
+at first without success, until I approached, and then it was
+immediately dropped. I untied the knot, within which I found forty
+crowns in Spanish gold, and a paper written in Arabian characters, with
+a large cross at the head of the page. I kissed the sacred sign, put up
+the money, returned to the terrace, where we made our obeisance; the
+hand appearing again, I made signs that I should read the letter, and
+then the window was shut. We were equally pleased and perplexed at this
+event, for none of us understood Arabick; and although our impatience to
+know the contents of the paper was very great, the difficulty of finding
+an interpreter was still greater. At length I determined to trust a
+renegade a native of Murcia, who had professed himself my friend, and
+given me such pledges of his fidelity, as obliged him to keep any secret
+I should think proper to impart: for those renegades who intend to
+return to Christendom, usually carry about with them certificates signed
+by the principal captives, attesting in the most ample form they can
+devise, that such a renegade is an honest man, who hath always been
+obliging to the Christians, and is desirous of making his escape with
+the first opportunity. Some there are who procure these testimonials
+with a good intention, others use them occasionally, as the instruments
+of their craft: for, going to rob and plunder on the Christian coasts,
+if they should chance to be shipwrecked or taken, they produce their
+certificates, and observe that these papers will shew the real design of
+their coming on a cruize with Turks, which was no other than to take the
+first occasion of returning to their native country; by these means they
+escape the first fury of resentment, and are reconciled to the church,
+without suffering the least damage; but when they see their opportunity,
+they return to Barbary, and re-assume their former way of life; whereas
+those who procure recommendations with a good design, make use of them
+accordingly, and remain in peace among the Christians. Such a renegado
+was this friend, who had obtained certificates from all my companions,
+conceived in the strongest terms of confidence and applause; for which,
+had he been detected, the Moors would have burned him alive. I knew that
+he could both speak and write the Arabian tongue; but, before I would
+disclose the whole affair, I desired him to read that paper which I had
+found by chance in a corner of my cabbin. He opened it accordingly, and
+having pored and perused it a good while, muttering between his teeth, I
+asked if he understood the contents. He answered in the affirmative,
+bidding me, if I chose to have the literal meaning, furnish him with pen
+and ink, that he might translate it the more exactly. I accordingly
+accommodated him with what he desired; and when he had made an end of
+the translation at his own leisure, he said, “This that I have written
+in Spanish is the literal meaning of that Moorish paper; and you are to
+take notice, that wheresoever you meet with the words Lela Marien, they
+signify our Lady the Blessed Virgin.”
+
+‘The paper contained these words—“When I was a child, my father had a
+woman slave, who in my own language taught me the Christian worship, and
+told me divers things of Lela Marien. This Christian died, and I am sure
+her soul did not go to the fire, but to Ala; for I saw her twice after
+her death, and she advised me to go to the land of the Christians, where
+I should see Lela Marien, by whom I was beloved. I know not which way to
+go; many Christians I have seen from this window, but not one who seems
+so much a gentleman as yourself. I am very beautiful and young, and have
+a great deal of money in my possession. If thou canst find out any
+method of carrying me to thy country, thou shalt there be my husband, if
+thou art so inclined; but, if that be contrary to thy inclination, I
+shall not be uneasy, for Lela Marien will provide me with a spouse. I
+write this with my own hand; let nobody read it, but such as you can
+trust. Beware of the Moors, for they are altogether deceitful; therefore
+I am very much concerned, for I would not have it disclosed to any
+person whatever; because, if it should come to my father’s ears, he
+would instantly cause me to be sunk in a well, and covered with stones.
+I will fasten a thread to the cane, to which thou mayest tie thine
+answer; and if thou hast not a proper person to write for thee in
+Arabick, let me know by signs; for Lela Marien will help me to
+understand them. May she and Ala preserve thee, by means of this cross,
+which I often kiss, according to the direction of my deceased slave!”
+
+‘You may easily conceive, gentlemen, whether or not we were surprized
+and rejoiced at the contents of this paper. Indeed, the symptoms of joy
+and admiration appeared so plain in our behaviour, that the renegado
+suspected it was not found by accident, but actually written and
+addressed to one of our company. He accordingly intreated us to tell him
+if his conjecture was true, protesting that we might safely trust to his
+fidelity, and assuring us, if we would favour him with our confidence,
+he would venture his life in procuring our freedom. So saying, he pulled
+from his bosom a crucifix of metal, and with many tears, swore by the
+God represented under the form of that image, in whom he, though a
+wretched sinner, fully and faithfully believed, that he would be trusty
+and secret in every thing we should please to communicate; for he firmly
+believed, and as it were prognosticated, that by means of her who had
+written the paper, we should all obtain liberty, and he accomplish that
+which he had so much at heart, namely, his re-admission into the bosom
+of his holy mother church, from which he, through his ignorance and
+guilt, had been like a rotten member, divided and cut off. This
+declaration he made with so many tears and signs of repentance, that we
+unanimously agreed to intrust him with the affair, and accordingly gave
+him an account of every thing that had happened, without suppressing one
+circumstance; and shewed him the window at which the cane appeared: so
+that from thence he had took, his mark of the house, resolving to inform
+himself, with great care and caution, of the name and quality of those
+who lived in it. Meanwhile, we were all of opinion, that there was a
+necessity for answering the billet; and there being a person present,
+who could perform that office, the renegado that instant wrote in
+Arabick what I dictated, which was literally as I shall now repeat, for
+of all the material circumstances of that affair, not one hath escaped
+my memory, which will retain them all to my last breath. In short, this
+was the answer which I sent to the beautiful Moor.
+
+ “MY DEAR LADY!
+
+ “Mayest thou be protected by the true Ala, and that blessed Mary the
+ real mother of God, who, because she loves thee, hath put it into
+ thy heart to go to the land of Christians; beseech her therefore,
+ that she will be pleased to teach thee how thou mayest obey her
+ commands; for she is so benevolent that she will grant thy request.
+ For my own part, and in behalf of those who are my fellow prisoners,
+ I promise to serve thee with our whole power, even unto death. Fail
+ not to write and give me notice of what thou shalt resolve to do;
+ and I will always answer thy letters; for the great Ala hath
+ favoured us with the friendship of a Christian captive, who can
+ speak and write thy language, as thou wilt perceive by this paper;
+ wherefore thou mayest communicate thy will and pleasure to us
+ without fear. As to thy offer of becoming my wife, when thou shalt
+ be safely settled in the land of the Christians, I pledge myself
+ thine, on the faith of a good Christian; and know, that those of our
+ religion perform their promises more punctually than the Moors. God,
+ and his mother Mary, take my dear lady into their holy protection!”
+
+‘This letter being written and sealed, I waited two days until the bath
+was empty, and then went to the usual place on the terrace, to look for
+the cane, which in a little time appeared. I no sooner perceived the
+sign, though I could not see who made it, than I held up the letter to
+make her understand that she should fasten a thread to the cane; but
+that was already done, and I tied the paper to it accordingly. In a
+little time our star appeared again, loaded with the white flag of
+peace; which being dropped, I took it up, and found, in different coins
+of gold and silver, to the amount of fifty crowns, which increased our
+satisfaction fifty-fold, and confirmed us in the hope of obtaining our
+freedom. That same night our renegade returned, and told us, he was
+informed the house was inhabited by that same Moor I have mentioned
+under the name of Agimorato, who was excessively rich, and had only one
+daughter to inherit his whole fortune; that by the current report in the
+city, she was the most beautiful woman in Barbary; and that many of the
+viceroys who went thither, had demanded her in marriage, but she would
+never yield her consent; he likewise understood that she had once a
+Christian slave, who had died some time ago; so that all these
+circumstances agreed with the contents of her letter. We then consulted
+with the renegade about the means of transporting ourselves with the
+Moorish lady, into Christendom; and, at length, we came to the
+resolution of waiting for another intimation from Zorayda, which is the
+name of her who now desires to be called Maria; for we plainly
+perceived, that by means of her, and no other, we should be enabled to
+surmount all the difficulties that occurred.
+
+‘Having come to this determination, the renegado bid us give ourselves
+no uneasiness, for he would either procure our liberty or forfeit his
+own life. The bath being full of people during four days, no cane
+appeared all that time; at the end of which the usual solitude
+prevailing, we perceived it with a handkerchief so pregnant as to
+promise a most happy birth. I stood under it; the whole was dropped as
+usual, and I found in the handkerchief another paper with one hundred
+crowns in gold, without any mixture of other coin. The renegade being
+then present, we carried him to our cabbin, where we desired him to read
+the letter, which he interpreted in these words.
+
+ “I know not, dear Sir, how to give directions about our passage into
+ Spain; nor hath Lela Marien told me, though I have earnestly
+ implored her assistance. But what may be easily effected is this: I
+ will from this window furnish you with a great quantity of money; so
+ that you may ransom yourself and your companions; and going to the
+ land of the Christians, purchase a bark with which you may return
+ for the rest; and you will find me in my father’s garden, which is
+ by the gate of Barbazon, close to the sea-side. There I shall be
+ during the whole summer, with my father and servants; and from
+ thence you may, in the night, carry me to the bark without fear. But
+ remember thou shalt be my husband; otherwise I will pray to Marien
+ to chastise thee. If thou canst depend upon no other person for
+ purchasing the bark, ransom thyself for that purpose. I know thou
+ wilt be more apt than any other body to return, because thou art a
+ gentleman and a Christian. Be sure to inform thyself well about the
+ garden. When I see thee walking where thou art at present, I shall
+ know the bath is empty, and provide thee with more money. Ala
+ preserve thee, my dear gentleman!”
+
+‘These were the contents and purport of the second paper; which being
+read in presence of us all, each proposed himself as the person to be
+ransomed, promising to go and return with the utmost punctuality; I
+likewise offered myself for that purpose. But the renegado opposed the
+proposal; saying, that he could by no means consent that one should be
+set free, before we had all obtained our liberty: because experience had
+taught him, how ill those who are free perform the promises they have
+made in their captivity; for prisoners of note had often practised the
+expedient of ransoming one of their number, to go to Valencia or
+Majorca, with money to purchase an armed bark, and return for his
+companions, but they never saw his face again; for having once obtained
+his own liberty, the dread of losing it again, by returning, blots all
+manner of obligations out of his remembrance. As a confirmation of the
+truth of what he alledged, he briefly recounted a case which had lately
+happened to some Christian gentlemen, attended with the strangest
+circumstances ever known even in these parts, where the most uncommon
+and surprizing events occur almost every day. In short, he told us, the
+most practicable and prudent scheme was, to give him the money we should
+receive for our ransom, with which he would purchase a bark at Algiers,
+under pretence of becoming merchant, and trading to Tetuan, and the
+other places on that coast; and that being master of the vessel, he
+would soon contrive the means of disengaging us from the bath, and
+getting us all on board; especially if the Moorish lady should perform
+her promise in supplying us with money sufficient to pay the ransom of
+our whole company; in which case, being no longer slaves, we might
+embark with the greatest ease and safety, even at noon-day. The greatest
+difficulty that occurred, was the backwardness of the Moors, to allow a
+renegade to purchase or command a vessel, unless it be a large cruizer
+for pirating; because they suspect, especially if he be a Spaniard, that
+his sole motive in buying a small bark, is to make his escape into
+Christendom; but he undertook to remedy that inconvenience, by giving a
+share of the bark and profits of the merchandize to a Tangarin Moor; by
+which means he should be master of the bark, and of consequence have it
+in his power to accomplish the whole affair.
+
+‘Although, in the opinion of me and my companions, there was no better
+plan than that of sending to Majorca for a bark, as the Moorish lady had
+proposed, we durst not contradict the sentiments of the renegade, lest
+he, being disobliged by our acting contrary to his intention, should
+make a discovery of our correspondence with the fair Moor, and endanger
+not only our lives, but also that of Zorayda, for which we would have
+willingly sacrificed our own. We therefore determined to rely upon God
+and the renegado; and immediately wrote an answer to Zorayda, importing,
+that we would adhere in every thing to her advice, which was as prudent
+as if it had been dictated by Lela Marien; and that it depended solely
+upon her, either to hasten or retard the negociation; pledging my faith
+anew to become her spouse. In consequence of this intimation, the very
+next day, when the bath happened to be empty, she, at different times,
+by means of the cane and handkerchief, transmitted two thousand crowns
+in gold, with a paper signifying, that on the first Jama, which is
+Friday, she should set out for her father’s garden, but before her
+departure, supply us with more money; and desired us to inform her, if
+we should find that insufficient; for she would give us as much as we
+could desire, her father having such vast sums, that he would never be
+sensible of what she took, especially as all his keys were in her
+possession. We immediately accommodated the renegado with five hundred
+crowns, for the purchase of the bark; with eight hundred more I ransomed
+myself, depositing the money with a Valentian merchant then residing at
+Algiers, who bargained for my ransom with the king, and obtained my
+freedom, upon giving his word to pay the money on the arrival of the
+first ship from Valencia; for, if he had paid it immediately, the king
+would have suspected that the ransom had been some time at Algiers, and
+that the merchant had hitherto detained it for his own convenience. In
+short, my master was so contentious, that I durst by no means disburse
+the money at once. On the Thursday before the fair Zorayda removed to
+her father’s country house, she gave us another thousand crowns, and
+apprized us of her departure; intreating me, as soon as I should be
+ransomed, to make myself acquainted with her father’s garden, and find
+some opportunity of going thither to see her. I answered, in few words,
+that I would obey her in every thing, desiring she would fervently
+recommend us to Lela Marien in all those prayers which she had learned
+of the slave.
+
+‘This affair being transacted, means were concerted for ransoming my
+three companions; lest, seeing me at liberty and themselves confined,
+since I had money enough to procure their freedom, they should be
+chagrined and tempted by the devil to do something to the prejudice of
+Zorayda; for, although their honour and integrity might have secured me
+against any such apprehension, I would not run the smallest risk, and
+therefore took care they should be ransomed by the same canal through
+which my liberty was obtained; depositing the whole sum required in the
+merchant’s hands, that he might with more certainty and confidence act
+the part of their bondsman; though we never disclosed to him our secret
+commerce with Zorayda, for fear of what might happen.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIV.
+ THE CONTINUATION OF THE CAPTIVE’S ADVENTURES.
+
+
+‘Before fifteen days had elapsed, our renegado had purchased a stout
+vessel capable of containing thirty persons at least; and to secure what
+he had done with a favourable pretext, he made a voyage to a place
+called Sargel, about thirty leagues from Algiers, towards the coast of
+Oran, where there is a great traffick of dried figs; and he made two or
+three trips of this kind in company with the Tagarin Moor already
+mentioned. The Moors of Arragon are in Barbary called Tagarins, and
+those of Grenada go by the name of Mudajares; though these last are in
+the kingdom of Fez called Elches, being the people whom the king chiefly
+uses in his wars. I say, then, in every passage, the renegado brought
+his bark to an anchor in a small creek, within two bow shots of
+Agimorato’s garden, and there purposely employed himself and his Moorish
+rowers in practising the Zala[104], or attempted that in jest which he
+intended to execute in earnest. He went frequently to Zorayda’s garden,
+on pretence of asking fruit, which he always received from her father,
+though he did not know him; but although, as he afterwards owned, he
+wanted to speak with Zorayda, and tell her that he was the person
+appointed by me to carry her off to the land of the Christians, that she
+might be satisfied and secure of his fidelity; he never had an
+opportunity of executing his design, for the Moorish women avoid the
+sight of their own countrymen and the Turks, unless when they are
+commanded to appear by their parents and husbands: though they talk and
+converse with Christian captives even more freely than decency allows. I
+should have been very much concerned had he spoke with her, because it
+would perhaps have given her great uneasiness to see renegades intrusted
+with the affair; but God, who ordained all for the best, gave him no
+opportunity of fulfilling his well-meaning intention.
+
+‘Perceiving how securely he traded to and from Sargel, and anchored
+when, where, and how he pleased, his partner submitting to his direction
+in all things; and that I being ransomed, there was nothing wanted but
+some Christians to row, he desired me to pick out those who should
+accompany me exclusive of my friends who were ransomed, and bespeak them
+for the Friday following, which he had appointed for the day of our
+departure. Seeing him thus determined, I spoke to a dozen Spaniards, all
+of them able-bodied rowers, and people who could easily get out of the
+city; and indeed it was no small difficulty to find so many at that
+conjuncture, for no fewer than twenty gallies being then out upon the
+cruize, almost all the rowers were employed; so that I should not have
+found those I have mentioned had not their master staid at home that
+summer to finish a vessel which he had on the stocks. All I said to them
+was, that next Friday in the evening they should slily slip out of the
+city one by one, and betake themselves to Agimorato’s garden, where they
+should wait my coming; and I directed every one by himself, if he should
+meet with other Christians at the rendezvous, to say nothing but that I
+had ordered him to wait for me in that place.
+
+‘This point being settled, another precaution still more necessary
+remained untaken; this was to advertise Zorayda of the situation of our
+affairs, that she might be prepared and guarded against surprize at our
+sudden assault, before she could think it possible that the Christian
+bark was arrived. Resolved therefore to see and speak with her if
+possible one day before our departure, I went to the garden on pretence
+of gathering some herbs, and the first person I met was her father, who
+spoke to me in a language used through all Barbary, and even at
+Constantinople, between the captives and the Moors; it is neither
+Arabick nor Castilian, nor indeed peculiar to any nation, but a mixture
+of different tongues by which we may make shift to understand each
+other. I say, he asked in this sort of jargon who I was, and what I
+wanted in his garden? I answered that I was a slave belonging to Arnaute
+Mami, who I knew to be an intimate friend of his, and that I wanted a
+few herbs for a sallad. In consequence of this answer, he enquired
+whether or not I was to be ransomed, and what my master demanded for my
+freedom? And while we were thus conversing together, the fair Zorayda
+came out into the garden. She had already perceived me from a window of
+the house; and as the Moorish women make no scruple of shewing
+themselves to Christians, with whom, as I have already observed, they
+are not at all shy, she without any hesitation walked towards the place
+where I was standing with her father, who no sooner saw her, than he
+called at a distance desiring her to come up. It would be a difficult
+task for me at present to describe the exceeding beauty, the genteel
+mien, the gay and rich ornaments with which my beloved Zorayda then
+presented herself before mine eyes: I shall only observe, that the
+pearls about her beauteous neck and ears, out-numbered the hairs of her
+head. On her ancles, which were bare, according to the custom of the
+country, she wore carcaxes, (by which name the bracelets for the feet
+are called in the Morisco language) of the purest gold, set with such a
+quantity of diamonds, that she afterwards told me her father valued them
+at twenty thousand ducats; and those she wore upon her wrists were of
+equal richness. The pearls, though in such a vast number, were extremely
+fine; for the greatest pride and magnificence of the Moorish women lie
+in pearls and embroidery; consequently there is a greater quantity of
+pearls and seed-pearl in Barbary than in all the other nations of the
+world, and Zorayda’s father had the reputation of possessing the
+greatest number and the best in Algiers, together with a fortune of two
+hundred thousand Spanish crowns, of all which she who is now mine was
+once mistress. Whether with the assistance of all these ornaments she
+appeared beautiful or not, and what she must have been in her
+prosperity, may be conjectured by what remains after the great fatigues
+she hath undergone; for it is well known that the beauty of some women
+hath its days and seasons, and is diminished or increased according to
+the circumstances that happen; being improved or impaired, nay, often
+totally destroyed, by the passions of the mind. In short, she approached
+in all the pomp of dress, and all the excess of beauty; at least to me
+she seemed the most beautiful creature I had ever seen; which
+circumstance, joined to the obligation I lay under, made me look upon
+her as an angel sent from heaven for my delight and deliverance. When
+she came up, her father told her in their own language that I was a
+captive belonging to his friend Arnaute Mami, and had come for a sallad;
+upon which she took up the discourse, and in that jumble of languages
+before-mentioned, asked if I was a gentleman, and why I did not ransom
+myself? I answered that I was already ransomed, and that she might see
+in what esteem I was with my master by the sum he received for my
+freedom, which was no less than fifteen hundred sultanins. To this
+observation she replied, “Truly, if thou hadst belonged to my father, he
+should not have parted with thee for twice the sum; for you Christians
+always dissemble, and call yourselves poorer than you really are, with a
+view of imposing upon the Moors.”—“That may be sometimes the case,
+Madam,” said I, “but I adhered to the truth in bargaining with my
+master, and will deal honestly with all mankind.” She then asked how
+soon I intended to depart: and I answered, “To-morrow, I believe; there
+is a French ship in the harbour to sail in the morning, and I have some
+thoughts of taking my passage on board of her.”—“Had not you better stay
+till the arrival of a vessel from Spain,” said Zorayda, “than trust
+yourself with the French, who are no good friends of yours?”—“No,
+Madam,” answered I; “though, as there is a Spanish ship expected, if she
+arrives immediately, I believe I shall wait for her; but it is more
+likely that I shall sail to-morrow; for the desire I have to see myself
+in my native country with those I love, is too strong to let me wait for
+any other convenience, let it be ever so good.”—“Without doubt,” said
+Zorayda, “thou art married in thy own country, and therefore desirous of
+being with thy wife?”—“I am not yet wedded,” I replied; “but under
+promise of being married at my return.”—“And is the woman beautiful to
+whom thou hast pledged thy faith?” said she. “So beautiful,” answered I,
+“that, to compliment her, and tell thee the truth, she is the exact
+resemblance of thyself.”
+
+‘Her father laughed heartily at this declaration, saying, “Truly,
+Christian, she must be very handsome indeed, if she resembles my
+daughter, who is the most beautiful woman in this kingdom: look at her,
+and thou wilt see whether or not I speak truth.”
+
+‘In the greatest part of this conversation, Agimorato served as
+interpreter for his daughter, he being better acquainted with this
+spurious language, which though she understood a little in consequence
+of its being much spoke among the Moors, she explained, her meaning by
+signs, oftener than by words.
+
+‘While we were engaged in this and other such conversation, a Moor ran
+towards us, crying aloud, that four Turks having got through the pales,
+or leaped over the garden wall, were gathering the fruit, though it was
+not yet ripe. At this information the old man and Zorayda started; for
+the Moors are commonly, and as it were, naturally, afraid of the Turks,
+especially the soldiers, who are so insolent and imperious to their
+Moorish subjects, that they treat them worse than if they were slaves.
+Accordingly, the father said to Zorayda, “Daughter, retire to the house,
+and lock thyself up, while I go and talk to those dogs; and thou
+Christian,” (turning to me) “gather thy herbs, and depart in peace; and
+Ala send thee safe into thy own country!” I made my obeysance, and he
+went in search of the Turks, leaving me alone with Zorayda, who
+pretended to go homeward according to her father’s desire; but no sooner
+was he out of sight, among the trees of the garden, than she came back,
+with her eyes drowned in tears, saying, “Amexi, Christiano, amexi!” the
+signification of which address is, “Thou art going away, Christian, thou
+art going away!”—“Yes, Madam,” answered I, “but by no means without you:
+on the next Jama expect me, and be not afraid when you see us; for we
+shall certainly go to the land of the Christians.” I made shift to
+express myself in such a manner, that she understood this, and every
+thing else that I said; and throwing her arm about my neck, began to
+walk towards the house, with a slow and faultering pace: but it pleased
+fortune, which might have proved very unlucky, had not Heaven otherwise
+ordained, that while we walked in this attitude, with her arm about my
+neck, we were observed by her father, on his return from having sent
+away the Turks; and we immediately perceived ourselves discovered.
+Nevertheless, Zorayda, prompted by her discretion and presence of mind,
+would not take her arm from my neck; but, on the contrary, coming closer
+to me; let her head drop upon my bosom, and her knees sunk under her, as
+if she was fainting; while I seemed to support her with a sort of
+strained civility.
+
+‘The father seeing his daughter in this situation, ran towards us with
+great concern, and asked what was the matter: but she making no reply,
+“Doubtless,” said he, “she hath fainted with the fright occasioned by
+the insolence of those dogs.” Then, taking her out of my arms, he
+supported her in his own; while she, fetching a deep sigh, the tears
+still continuing in her eyes, repeated, “Amexi, Christiano,
+amexi!——Begone, Christian, begone.”—“There is no necessity for the
+Christian’s departure,” said the father, “he hath done thee no harm; and
+as the Turks are gone already, be not disturbed: thou hast no cause to
+be uneasy; for as I have already said, the Turks, at my entreaty, went
+out as they had come in.”—“Indeed, Sir,” said I, “they have discomposed
+her very much, as you observe; but since she desires me to go, I will
+not stay to give offence. Peace be with you! I will, with your
+permission, return to this garden for herbs, if they should be wanted;
+for my master says there are none better to be found in any other
+place.”—“Thou mayest come as often as thou wilt,” answered Agimorato:
+“what my daughter says is not out of resentment against thee or any
+other Christian; but instead of bidding the Turks begone, she applied
+the words to thee, or else thought it was time for thee to go and gather
+thy herbs.” I then took leave of them both; and she, as if her soul had
+been rent from her body, went away with her father; while I, on pretence
+of culling my sallad, went round the whole garden at my pleasure,
+observing all the entries and outlets, together with the strength of the
+house, and every convenience that might tend to facilitate our purpose.
+
+‘Having thus reconnoitered, I went and communicated my observations to
+the renegado and the rest of my companions, longing eagerly for the hour
+of seeing myself in peaceable possession of the blessing which fortune
+presented in the beauteous and charming Zorayda. At length the
+intervening time elapsed, and the long-wished-for day and period
+arrived, when all of us, following the order and plan which had been
+often canvassed, and at last settled, after the most mature
+deliberation, our desires were happily accomplished. On the Friday after
+I had spoke with Zorayda, Morrenago, which was the renegade’s name,
+anchored his bark, at night-fall, opposite to the place where my
+charming mistress resided; and the Christians who were to row, in
+consequence of my directions, lay already concealed in different
+corners, all around the place, waiting for me with impatience, joy, and
+desire of attacking the vessel which was in view; for they were ignorant
+of our confederacy with the renegade, and believed that they must win
+and maintain their liberty by force of arms, in killing all the Moors
+who belonged to the bark; wherefore, as soon as I and my companions
+appeared, those who were hid came and joined us immediately, about the
+time when the city gates were shut, so that not a soul was to be seen in
+the fields. Being all met together, we were in some doubt whether we
+should go immediately for Zorayda; or first of all secure the Moorish
+rowers belonging to the bark. While we hesitated on this point, the
+renegado arriving, asked what we waited for; observing, that now was the
+time, the Moors being altogether unguarded, and the greatest part of
+them actually asleep. We told him the subject of our doubt; upon which
+he assured us, that it was of the greatest consequence to make ourselves
+first masters of the bark, a precaution which might be easily taken,
+without running the least hazard, and then we could go in quest of
+Zorayda, with greater security. His advice was unanimously approved; and
+therefore without farther delay, we followed him as guide to the vessel,
+into which he leaped, and drawing a scymitar, called in the Moorish
+language, “Let none of you stir on pain of death.” The Christians were
+at his back in an instant; while the Moors being naturally
+pusillanimous, hearing their master talk in this manner, were seized
+with consternation: and as there were few or no arms on board, suffered
+themselves, without the least resistance, to be fettered by the
+Christians, who performed this office with infinite dexterity and
+dispatch, threatening to put them all to the sword, if any one of them
+should raise his voice, or attempt to make the least noise.
+
+‘This scheme being executed, we left one half of our number to guard
+them, and with the rest, using the renegado still as our guide, went to
+Agimorato’s garden door, which fortunately opened with as much ease as
+if it had not been locked; so that, without being perceived, we
+proceeded to the house with great silence and composure. The adorable
+Zorayda, who stood waiting for us at a window, no sooner perceived
+people at the door, than she asked with a low voice, if we were
+Nazarini? which in their language signifies Christians. I replied in the
+affirmative, desiring her to come down; when she knew my voice, she made
+no delay, but without answering one syllable, came down in a moment,
+opened the door, and appeared so beautiful and richly dressed, as to
+surpass all description. Transported at the sight, I took her hand and
+kissed it most devoutly; the renegado and my two companions did the
+same; and the rest, though ignorant of the occasion, followed our
+example, thinking we expressed our thanks and acknowledgments to her as
+the instrument of our deliverance. The renegado asked, in the Morisco
+tongue, if her father was in the house: and she assuring him, that he
+was asleep in his own apartment; “Then it will be necessary,” said
+Morrenago, “to wake and carry him off, together with every thing of
+value, in this agreeable habitation.”—“Touch not my father,” said she,
+“and take my word for it there is nothing valuable in this house but
+what I have secured, which is enough to make you all rich and happy;
+stay a little, and thou shalt see.”
+
+‘So saying, she went back into the house, protesting she would
+immediately return, and desiring us to make no noise. I then asked the
+renegade what had passed between them, and when he told me, charged him
+to do nothing that should be disagreeable to Zorayda, who soon returned
+with a coffer so full of golden crowns, that she could scarce support
+the weight. But our evil fortune ordained that her father should wake in
+the interim, and hear a noise in the garden; upon which he started up,
+and running to the window, no sooner perceived that we were all
+Christians, than he began to bawl in Arabick with vast vociferation,
+“Christians! Christians! thieves! thieves!” and his cries threw us all
+into the utmost terror and confusion; however, the renegado seeing the
+danger we were in, and how much it imported him to atchieve the
+enterprize without being detected, ran up to Agimorato, with infinite
+agility, being accompanied with some others of our company, as I could
+not leave Zorayda, who by this time had fainted in my arms; in short,
+those who entered the house managed him so well, that in a moment they
+brought him down with his hands tied, and an handkerchief in his mouth,
+to hinder him from crying, threatening all the while, that if he
+presumed to speak, it would cost him his life. His daughter covered her
+eyes, that she might not see her father in that condition; while he was
+astonished at sight of her, little thinking how willingly she had put
+herself in our power, and our feet being then more necessary than our
+hands, we, with great industry and dispatch, returned to the vessel,
+where we were expected with impatience by those we had left, who had
+began to fear we had met with some mischance.
+
+‘Before two hours of the night had elapsed, we were all safe on board,
+where we untied the hands of Zorayda’s father, and took the handkerchief
+out of his mouth; though the renegado commanded him again to be silent,
+on pain of death. Seeing his daughter also in our power, he began to
+sigh most bitterly, more especially as he perceived her lie quietly in
+my arms, without resisting, complaining, or the least appearance of
+constraint; but he was fain to hold his tongue, lest the renegado should
+put his repeated threats in execution. Zorayda now seeing us embarked,
+and on the point of manning the oars, while her father and the other
+Moors remained fettered, as prisoners among us, bade the renegado
+desire, in her name, that I would be so good as to dismiss the Moors,
+and set her father at liberty; for she would rather throw herself into
+the sea, than behold a parent, who loved her so much, dragged into
+captivity on her account. Morrenago having made me acquainted with her
+request, I consented to the proposal; but he said it was by no means
+expedient, because, should we leave them there, they would instantly
+alarm both town and country; so that some light frigates would be sent
+out in pursuit of us, and then we should be so beset, both by sea and
+land, that it would be impossible for us to escape; he proposed
+therefore, to set them at liberty on the first Christian land he should
+make. We were all of the same opinion, which was also embraced by
+Zorayda, to whom he imparted the reasons which hindered us from
+complying immediately with her desire; then each of our valiant rowers
+laid hold of his oar with joy, silence, and alacrity, and recommending
+ourselves to the protection of God, we took our departure, directing our
+course towards the island of Majorca, which was the nearest Christian
+land; but, the north wind beginning to blow, and the sea becoming rough,
+it was impossible to steer our course, and we were obliged to row along
+shore towards Oran, not without great apprehension of being discovered
+from the town of Sargel, which lies upon that coast, about sixty miles
+from Algiers; we were also afraid of meeting, in those parts, with some
+of the gallies which frequently come thither from Tetuan to trade;
+though each of us singly, and all of us together, presumed, that if we
+could fall in with a merchant-vessel not fitted out, or manned for a
+corsair, far from losing our liberty again, we should make ourselves
+masters of a ship in which we might perform our voyage with more
+security. While we thus coasted along, Zorayda lay with her head in my
+bosom, that she might not see her father in distress; and I could hear
+her imploring Lela Marien to assist us in our design.
+
+‘When we had rowed about thirty miles, day-breaking discovered that we
+were about three gun shots distant from the shore of a desart country,
+where not a soul appeared to detect us; but, for all that, we plied hard
+to get a little farther off to sea, which was now somewhat calmer; and
+having made about two leagues, directed the men to row by turns, that we
+might refresh ourselves with the provisions, of which we had plenty in
+the bark; but the rowers said, it was then no time to be idle, and
+desired the rest to bring them victuals, which they would eat while at
+work, protesting that they would by no means quit their oars; this hint
+was accordingly taken, and a fresh gale springing up, we were obliged to
+lay aside our oars, and make sail directly for Oran; for it was
+impossible to follow any other course. All this was done with great
+expedition; we sailed at the rate of eight miles in an hour, without any
+other dread than that of falling in with some corsair. We ordered some
+victuals to be given to the Moors, who were consoled by the renegado’s
+telling them, that they were not slaves, and should have their freedom
+with the first opportunity; the same declaration he made to Zorayda’s
+father, who answered, “I might expect any other favour from your
+generosity and courteous behaviour, O Christians! but, you must not
+think me so simple as to believe you will give me my freedom; for you
+would never have run such risk in depriving me of it, with a view of
+restoring it so liberally; especially when you know who I am, and the
+advantage you may reap from my ransom, which, if you will now propose, I
+here promise to pay your utmost demand, for myself and this unhappy
+daughter, or for her alone, who is the better part of my soul!”
+
+‘So saying, he wept with such bitterness, as moved us all to compassion,
+and obliged Zorayda to lift up her eyes; when seeing the tears trickle
+down from his aged cheeks, she was melted, and rising from the place
+where I supported her, went to embrace her father; then joining her face
+to his, the two uttered such a tender lamentation, as drew tears of
+sympathy from the eyes of almost all those who heard it; but, when
+Agimorato perceived her so gayly dressed, with all her jewels about her,
+he said with some surprize, in their language, “What is the meaning of
+this finery, my child? Last night, before this terrible misfortune
+happened, I saw thee in thy ordinary and common dress; but now, though
+thou hadst neither time, nor any happy tidings to solemnize with such
+ornaments and finery, I see thee decked in all the richest apparel I
+could contrive or bestow upon thee, while fortune was much more
+favourable than at present! Answer me in this particular, at which I am
+more concerned and surprized, than at the mishap which hath befallen
+us?” The renegado interpreted to us all that the Moor said to his
+daughter, who made no answer to his question; but when he saw on one
+side of the bark the coffer in which she used to keep her jewels, which
+he knew he had left at Algiers, when he moved to his country house; he
+was still more confounded, and asked how that casket had fallen into our
+hands, and what it contained. To this question the renegado replied,
+without waiting for Zorayda’s answer; “You need not weary yourself,
+Signior, in putting so many questions to your daughter; for I can
+satisfy you in one word: know, then, that Zorayda is a Christian; that
+she hath filed off our chains, and converted our captivity into freedom;
+that she came hither of her own accord, and is now, I believe, as well
+satisfied with her present condition as one delivered from darkness to
+light, from death to life, and from affliction to triumph.”—“Daughter!”
+cried the Moor, “is that which he affirms true?”—“Yes,” replied Zorayda.
+“That thou art actually a Christian, and the very person who hath put
+thy father into the hands of his enemies?” resumed the old man. “I am a
+Christian, ’tis true,” said Zorayda, “but not the person who reduced you
+to this situation; for my desire never extended so far as either to
+leave or render you unhappy, my sole intention being to provide for my
+own welfare.”—“And how hast thou provided for it, my child?” replied the
+father. “Put that question to Lela Marien,” said she, “who will inform
+you better than I can.”
+
+‘Scarce had these words reached the ears of Agimorato, than, with
+incredible agility, he darted himself headlong into the sea; where,
+without all doubt, he must have perished, had not his large entangling
+robes helped to keep him afloat. Zorayda shrieking, begged we would save
+her father; upon which we all exerted ourselves, and laying hold of his
+upper garment, pulled him on board, already half drowned, and deprived
+of all sensation; when she was so much affected with his condition, that
+she uttered a most tender and doleful lamentation over him, as if he had
+been actually dead. Having turned him upon his face, a great quantity of
+water ran out of his mouth, and he recovered the use of his senses, in
+the space of two hours, during which, the wind shifting, we were driven
+towards the shore, and by main dint of rowing kept from running aground;
+but by good fortune, we arrived in a creek formed by a small creek or
+promontory, known among the Moors by the name of Cava Rumia, which
+signifies, the wicked Christian woman; there being a tradition among
+them, that Cava[105], on whose account they lost their possessions in
+Spain, is interred in that place; for Cava, in their language, implies a
+wicked woman, and Rumia, signifies Christian: so that they look upon it
+as a bad omen, when they are obliged, by necessity, to drop anchor here;
+and, except in cases of emergency, they never attempt it: though to us,
+it was by no means the shelter of a wicked woman, but a secure harbour
+in stormy weather. Having placed centinels on shore, without quitting
+our oars, we made another meal of what the renegado had provided; and
+prayed heartily to God and the blessed Virgin, to favour and assist us,
+in bringing such a fortunate beginning to a happy conclusion. We then
+determined, at the intreaty of Zorayda, to set her father and the Moors,
+whom we had fettered, on shore, because she had not resolution enough,
+nor could her tender disposition endure to see her parent and countrymen
+in the condition of captives; we accordingly promised to gratify her
+desire, at our departure, since we ran no risk in setting them at
+liberty in that uninhabited place.
+
+‘Our prayers were not so vain as to be rejected by Heaven, that sent a
+favourable wind and a smooth sea, inviting us to proceed with alacrity
+in the voyage we had undertaken. This we no sooner perceived, than
+unbinding the Moors, we put them all on shore, one by one, to their no
+small astonishment: but, when we came to dismiss Zorayda’s father, who
+by this time had recovered the entire use of his senses, “Christians,”
+said he, “do you think that bad woman rejoices at my freedom through
+filial piety? No surely! but merely to be rid of the check which she
+would receive from my presence, in seeking to gratify her vicious
+desires. Do not imagine that she hath been induced to change her
+religion, because she believes that the Christian faith is preferable to
+ours? No; she hath apostatized, because she understood that, in your
+country she might indulge her loose inclinations more freely than in her
+own.” Then turning to Zorayda, while I and another Christian held him
+fast; that she might not commit some desperate action, he said, “O
+infamous wretch, and ill-advised maiden! what blindness and distraction
+hath prompted thee to put thyself in the power of these dogs, who are
+all our natural foes? Cursed be the hour in which thou wast engendered!
+and cursed be the gaiety and indulgence in which I brought thee up!”
+
+‘Perceiving that there was no likelihood of his ending his exclamations
+for some time, I presently set him on shore, where he proceeded with his
+reproaches, imprecations, and complaints, imploring the mediation of
+Mahomet with Ala, to confound, overwhelm, and destroy us: and when we
+had sailed out of hearing, we could perceive him act his despair,
+pulling his beard, and rolling himself upon the ground; nay, once he
+raised his voice in such a manner, that we could distinctly hear him
+pronounce, “Return, my beloved daughter! return to the shore; I forgive
+all that is past: leave with these men the money which they already have
+in their possession, and return to comfort thy disconsolate father, who,
+if thou forsakest him, will lie down and breathe his last upon this
+barren sand!” This pathetick address was heard by Zorayda, who lamented
+his affliction with the utmost sensibility, though she could make no
+other reply than this: “Ala grant, my dear father, that Lela Marien, who
+was the cause of my conversion, may console you in your distress! Ala
+knows, I could not do otherwise than I have acted, and that these
+Christians owe nothing to any particular good-will I bore them; for if I
+had not assisted and accompanied them in their escape, but remained at
+home with you, it would have been impossible for me, in conference of
+the earnest solicitations of my own soul, to execute that which, in my
+opinion, is as righteous as it is infamous and wicked in yours.” But
+these words never reached the ears of her father, whom by this time we
+could not perceive: I therefore endeavoured to console my amiable
+mistress; while the rest were intent upon our voyage, which was so much
+favoured by a fair wind, that we laid our account with being next day on
+the coast of Spain.
+
+‘But, as good fortune seldom comes pure and single, unattended or
+unpursued by some troublesome and unexpected circumstance, it was
+ordained by Heaven, (perhaps, in consequence of the curses imprecated by
+the Moor upon his daughter; for such curses are to be dreaded, let the
+parent be what he will:) I say, Heaven ordained, that when we were a
+good way off at sea, with a flowing sheet, three hours of the night
+being already spent, the oars lashed up, because the fair wind made it
+unnecessary to use them, and the moon shining with remarkable
+brightness; we perceived a large round vessel with all her sails out,
+steering a little upon the wind, right athwart our hause, and so near
+that we were obliged to shorten sail, that she might not run foul of us,
+while she clapped her helm a-weather that we might have time to pass:
+those upon deck hailed us, asking who we were, whence we came, and
+whither bound; but, as they spoke in French, the renegado said, “Let no
+man answer; these are French privateers, who make prize of every thing
+that falls in their way.”
+
+‘Thus cautioned, we made no reply, but sailed on, leaving the ship a
+little to windward; when all of a sudden, they discharged two pieces of
+cannon, loaded, in all appearance, with chain-shot: for one of them cut
+away our mast in the middle; which, with the sail, fell overboard into
+the sea; and the other coming a moment after, took us amidships, and
+laid the side of the bark entirely open, without doing any other
+mischief. Seeing ourselves going to the bottom, we began to cry aloud
+for assistance, beseeching the people in the ship to save us from
+perishing: then they brought to, and hoisting out their boat or pinnace,
+it was instantly manned by a dozen of Frenchmen, well armed with their
+muskets, and lighted match, who rowing up to us, and seeing how few we
+were, as also that our bark was on the point of foundering, took us in,
+observing that this misfortune had happened, because we had been so
+uncivil as to refuse an answer to their hail: while the renegado,
+without being perceived, took up the coffer in which Zorayda’s treasure
+was contained, and threw it into the sea. In short, we went onboard with
+the French; who, when they had informed themselves of every thing we
+could impart, for their purpose; as if they had been our enemies,
+plundered us of all that we had, taking from Zorayda the very bracelets
+she wore upon her ancles. But their behaviour to her gave me the more
+anxiety, as I was afraid that, after having pilfered all her rich and
+precious jewels, they would proceed to rob her of that which was of
+greater value, and which she herself esteemed infinitely more than all
+the rest: but the desires of those people extend no farther than to
+money, and with that they can never satiate their avarice, which then
+engrossed them so much, that they would even have robbed us of the
+wretched garments we wore in our captivity, if they could have applied
+them to any sort of use; nay, some among them proposed to wrap us all
+together in a sail, and throw us into the sea; because they intended to
+trade in the ports of Spain, under pretence of being Bretons, and if
+they carried us thither alive, their depredation would be discovered,
+and themselves chastised accordingly. But the captain, who had with his
+own hands rifled my beloved Zorayda, said, he was satisfied with the
+prize he had got, and resolved to touch at no port in Spain, but pass
+the Straits of Gibraltar in the night, or take the best opportunity of
+so doing that should occur, and return to Rochelle, from whence he had
+sailed on the cruize; they, therefore, agreed to give us their boat,
+with what necessaries we should want, to finish the little that remained
+of our voyage: this promise they actually performed the next day, at a
+small distance from the Spanish coast, at sight of which, all our
+poverty and vexation vanished from our remembrance, as if we had never
+endured them; such is the transport occasioned by liberty regained! It
+might be about noon when we were put into the boat, with two casks of
+water and some biscuit; and the captain, moved to compassion at the
+distress of the lovely Zorayda, gave her to the amount of forty crowns
+in gold, and would not suffer his soldiers to strip her of the cloaths
+which she now wears: so that, at parting, instead of complaining of the
+hard usage we met with, we thanked them kindly for the benefit we had
+received at their hands. They steered right before the wind for the
+Straits, while we, without minding any other compass than that of the
+land that appeared a-head, plied our oars so vigorously, that at sun-set
+we were near enough to conclude, that we could easily reach the shore
+before the night should be far advanced; but that night being dark,
+without any moonshine, and every body on board ignorant of the coast,
+some of our company judged it unsafe to row ashore, while others
+insisted upon our running that hazard, even if we should land among
+rocks, or in some uninhabited part of the country, that we might be
+secured from the just apprehension of meeting with some rovers from
+Tetuan, who are frequently in the beginning of the night in Barbary, and
+in the morning on the Spanish coast, where having taken a prize, they
+return the same day, and sleep at home in their own houses. Of these
+contrary opinions, we chose that of rowing gently towards the shore,
+with intent, if the smoothness of the sea would permit, to land at the
+first convenient place. In consequence of this resolution, a little
+before midnight we arrived at the foot of a huge and lofty mountain,
+though not so rocky towards the sea but that there was a little space
+left for commodious landing. The boat being run ashore, and all of us
+disembarked, we kissed the ground, and with tears of unutterable joy,
+returned sincere thanks to our gracious Lord, for his unparalleled
+protection vouchsafed to us in the voyage: then we took out the
+provision, and dragging her on shore, ascended a vast way up the
+mountain; not being as yet able to quiet our apprehensions, or persuade
+ourselves, though it actually was so, that the soil we trod was
+Christian ground. The day broke much later than we could have wished,
+and about this time we gained the summit of the mountain; purposing to
+look from thence for some village or shepherd-huts; but, although we
+viewed the whole country around, we could neither discern village,
+house, highway, path, nor the least trace of human footsteps.
+Nevertheless, we determined to penetrate farther into the country, since
+it could not be long before we should discover some person who would
+give information; but what gave me the greatest concern was, to see
+Zorayda travelling on foot among the flinty rocks: for though I
+sometimes took her on my shoulders, she was much more fatigued with
+seeing me weary, than refreshed by finding herself exempted from
+walking, and therefore would not allow me to take any more trouble of
+that kind, but proceeded with infinite chearfulness and patience, while
+I led her by the hand all the way.
+
+‘In this manner we had gone about a quarter of a league, when our ears
+were saluted by the sound of a small sheep-bell, which was a sure sign
+of a flock’s being somewhere not far off: looking therefore attentively
+to discover it, we perceived a young shepherd, sitting with great
+composure at the root of a cork-tree, smoothing a stick with his knife.
+When we called to him he raised his head, and started nimbly up; and, as
+we afterwards understood, the renegade and Zorayda, who were in Moorish
+dress, being the first objects that presented themselves to his eyes, he
+thought all the corsairs of Barbary were upon him, and running with
+incredible swiftness into a wood that grew near the place where he was,
+he began to cry as loud as he could bawl, “The Moors! The Moors are
+landed! The Moors! The Moors! to arms, to arms!” These exclamations
+threw us all into a perplexity; but reflecting that his cries would
+alarm the country, and that the cavalry of the coast would immediately
+come and see what was the matter; it was agreed, that the renegade
+should pull off his Turkish robes, and put on a slave’s jacket, with
+which one of our company accommodated him, though he himself remained in
+his shirt. This being done, we recommended ourselves to God, and
+followed the same road which we saw the shepherd take, expecting every
+moment to see ourselves surrounded by the cavalry of the coast. Neither
+were we deceived in our expectation; for in less than two hours, having
+crossed those thickets, and entered a plain on the other side, we
+descried about fifty horsemen riding briskly towards us, at a
+hand-gallop; upon which we halted until they should come up: but when
+they arrived, and instead of the Moors they came in quest of beheld so
+many poor Christian captives, they were utterly confounded; and one of
+them asked, if we were the people who had been the occasion of a
+shepherd’s calling to arms. I answered in the affirmative, and being
+desirous of telling him who we were, whence we came, and what had
+happened to us, one of our company knew the horseman who accosted us,
+and without giving me time to speak another word, said, “Thanks be to
+God, gentlemen, for having conducted us to such an agreeable part of the
+country; for, if I am not mistaken, the ground we now tread belongs to
+Velez Malaga—and, if the years of my captivity have not impaired my
+remembrance, you, Signior, who ask that question, are Pedro Bustamante,
+my uncle.”
+
+‘Scarce had the captive pronounced these words, when the cavalier threw
+himself from his horse, and ran to embrace the young man; saying, “Dear
+nephew of my life and soul! I now recollect thee; thy supposed death has
+been mourned by myself, my sister, thy mother, and all thy relations,
+who are still alive; for Heaven hath been pleased to spare their lives,
+that they might enjoy the pleasure of seeing thee again. I knew thou
+wast at Algiers, and from the information of thy habit, and that of all
+your company, I guess you have made a miraculous escape.”—“Your
+conjecture is true,” replied the young man, “and we shall have time to
+recount the particulars.” As soon as the horsemen understood we were
+Christian captives, they alighted, and each of them made a tender of his
+horse to carry us to the city of Velez Malaga, which was about a league
+and a half from the place where they found us. Some of them went to
+bring the boat round to the city, after we had told them where she lay;
+others took us up behind them; and Zorayda rode with the Christian’s
+uncle. All the people came out to receive us, being apprized of our
+arrival, by one of the troopers who had pushed on before; not that they
+were surprized at the sight of the captives freed, or Moors in
+captivity, for the inhabitants on that coast are accustomed to see great
+numbers of both; but they were amazed at the beauty of Zorayda which was
+at that instant in full perfection; the fatigue of her journey,
+co-operating with the joy the felt in seeing herself in a Christian
+country, without the fear of being lost, having produced such a bloom
+upon her countenance, that, unless I was then prejudiced by my
+affection, I will venture to say, the world never produced, at least I
+had never seen, a more beautiful creature.
+
+‘We went directly to church, to make our acknowledgments to God for his
+mercies; and as soon as Zorayda entered, she said she perceived some
+faces that resembled Lela Marien: we told her these were the images of
+the blessed Virgin; and the renegado, as well as he could, informed her
+of their signification, that she might adore them, as if each was
+actually the person of Lela Marien, who had spoke to her; so that,
+having naturally a good understanding, with a docile and discerning
+disposition; she easily comprehended what he said upon the subject. From
+thence they conducted us to our lodgings in different families of the
+town; the renegado, Zorayda, and I, being invited by the Christian who
+escaped with us, to the house of his father, who was moderately provided
+with the good things of this life, and treated us with the same
+affection he expressed for his own son. Six days we tarried at Velez,
+during which the renegado having informed himself of what was necessary
+for him to do, went to the city of Grenada, there, by means of the holy
+inquisition, to be re-admitted into the bosom of our most sacred church:
+the rest of our company departed, each for his own home; leaving Zorayda
+and me by ourselves, destitute of every thing but the few crowns which
+she received from the courtesy or the French corsair. With part of these
+I bought the animal on which she arrived at this inn, and hitherto have
+cherished her with the affection of a parent, and the service of a
+squire, without using the prerogative of a husband; we are now upon the
+road to the place of my nativity, to see if my father be still alive,
+and if either of my brothers has been more fortunate than myself;
+though, as heaven hath made Zorayda my companion for life, fortune could
+not have possibly bestowed upon me any other favour which I should have
+valued at so high a rate. The patience with which she bears the
+inconveniences attending poverty, and the zeal she manifests to become a
+Christian, is so great and extraordinary, as to raise my admiration, and
+engage me to serve her all the days of my life; but the pleasure I take
+in this office, and in the prospect of seeing her mine, is disturbed and
+perverted, by reflecting that possibly in my own country I shall not
+find a corner in which I can shelter the dear object of my love; and
+that time or death may have made such alterations in the fortune and
+lives of my father and his other children, that I shall scarce meet with
+a soul that knows me.
+
+‘This, gentlemen, is the substance of my story; whether or not it be
+agreeable and uncommon, I leave to the decision of your better judgment;
+assuring you, that I wish I could have related it more succinctly,
+though the fear of tiring you hath made me suppress a good number of
+circumstances.’
+
+Footnote 104:
+
+ Zala, or Sala, is the Moorish salutation.
+
+Footnote 105:
+
+ Cava, or Caba, daughter of Count Julian, Count of Ceuta, was violated
+ by Roderick king of Spain; and, in order to revenge this injury, the
+ father called the Saracens into that kingdom, in the year 712.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XV.
+ OF WHAT FARTHER HAPPENED AT THE INN,
+ WITH MANY OTHER PARTICULARS WORTHY TO BE KNOWN.
+
+
+Here the captive left off speaking; and Don Fernando said to him,
+‘Really, Signior Captain, the novelty of your strange adventures is
+equalled by your agreeable manner of relating them. Your whole story is
+uncommon, surprizing, and full of incidents that keep the hearers in
+admiration and suspence; and such is the pleasure we have received from
+it, that though the narration should have continued till to-morrow
+morning, we should rejoice at your beginning it anew.’
+
+When this compliment was passed, Cardenio, and all the rest of the
+company, offered to serve him to the utmost of their power, with such
+affectionate and sincere expressions of friendship, that the captain was
+extremely well satisfied of their good-will. Don Fernando, in
+particular, promised, that if he would go home with him, his brother the
+marquis should stand godfather to Zorayda; and that he, for his part,
+would accommodate him in such a manner, that he should return to the
+place of his nativity with that authority and ease to which he was
+intitled by his birth and merit. The captive thanked him in the most
+courteous manner, but declined accepting any of his generous offers.
+
+It was now night, when a coach arrived at the inn, attended by some men
+on horseback, who demanded lodging; and the landlady made answer, that
+there was not in the whole house an handful of room unengaged. ‘Be that
+as it will,’ said one of the horsemen, who had entered the gate, ‘there
+must be some found for my lord judge.’ At mention of that name the
+hostess was disturbed, saying, ‘Signior, the greatest difficulty is my
+want of beds; but if his lordship hath brought one along with him, as I
+suppose he hath, he is very welcome to come in: I and my husband will
+quit our own apartment to accommodate his worship.’—‘Be it so,’ said the
+attendant. By this time a person had alighted from the coach, who, by
+his garb, immediately shewed the nature of his rank and office; for his
+long robe, with high sleeves tucked up, plainly distinguished him to be
+a judge, as the servant had affirmed. He led by the hand a young lady
+seemingly sixteen years of age, dressed in a riding suit, and so
+sprightly, beautiful, and genteel, as to raise the admiration of all who
+beheld her: so that those who had not seen Dorothea, Lucinda, and
+Zorayda then present, would have thought it a very difficult talk to
+find another woman of equal beauty. Don Quixote seeing the judge and
+young lady as they entered, pronounced with great solemnity, ‘Your
+worship may securely enter and recreate yourself in this castle, which,
+though narrow and inconvenient, there is no narrowness and inconvenience
+in this world, but what will make room for arms and letters, especially
+if they have for their guide and conductor such beauty as that which
+accompanies the letters of your worship, in the person of that amiable
+young lady, to whom not only castles ought to open and unfold their
+gates, but also rocks divide, and mountains bow their heads at her
+approach. Enter, I say, this paradise, where you will find stars and
+suns to accompany that heaven which you have brought hither. Here you
+will find arms in perfection, and beauty in excess!’
+
+The judge marvelled greatly at this address of the knight, whom he
+earnestly considered, no less surprized at his figure than his words,
+without knowing what reply to make, so much was he confounded at both;
+when he was relieved by the appearance of Lucinda, Dorothea, and
+Zorayda; who, upon hearing the news of their arrival, and the landlady’s
+description of the young beauty, had come out to welcome and receive
+her: the beauteous ladies of the inn welcomed this beauteous damsel;
+while Don Fernando, Cardenio, and the curate, paid their compliments to
+the judge, in the most civil and polite terms. He was more and more
+astonished at what he saw and heard, though he could easily perceive
+that his fellow-lodgers were persons of rank and consequence: but the
+mien, visage, and figure of Don Quixote, baffled all his conjectures.
+Compliments having thus passed on all sides, and the conveniences of the
+inn being duly considered, it was agreed, as before, that all the ladies
+should sleep together in the fore-mentioned apartment, and the men sit
+in another room to guard them. The judge was very well satisfied, that
+his daughter (for such the young maiden was) should lodge with the other
+ladies, she herself willingly consenting to the proposal; and what with
+part of the inn-keeper’s narrow bed, and the half of that which the
+judge brought along with him, they made shift to pass the night more
+agreeably than they expected.
+
+The captive, who, from the first moment he beheld the judge, felt his
+heart throb with a sort of intimation that this was his own brother,
+asked of one of the servants that attended him, his master’s name, with
+the place of his nativity. The footman replied, that his name was the
+licentiate Juan Perez de Viedma; and born, as he had been informed, in
+the mountains of Leon. This information, together with what he himself
+had before observed, confirmed him in the opinion, that he was his
+brother, who by his father’s advice had followed his studies.
+Transported with this discovery, he called aside Don Fernando, the
+curate, and Cardenio, to whom he imparted the affair, and assured them
+that the judge was his own brother by the servant’s report, so far on
+his way to the West Indies, in quality of supreme judge of Mexico. He
+understood also by the same canal, that the young lady was his daughter,
+whose birth had cost the mother her life; and that he was very much
+enriched by his wife’s fortune, which had been settled on the children
+of the marriage. The captive therefore consulted them about the method
+he should take to make himself known, or rather to be assured
+before-hand whether upon the discovery his brother would be ashamed of
+his poverty, or receive him with the bowels of affection. ‘Leave that
+talk to my conduct, Signior Captain,’ said the curate; ‘though there is
+all the reason in the world to believe that you will meet with a
+brotherly reception: for the virtue and prudence that appear in his
+courteous demeanor give no indications of his being proud and unnatural,
+but rather declare that he knows how to consider the accidents of
+fortune in the right point of view.’—‘Nevertheless,’ replied the
+captain, ‘I would not willingly disclose myself of a sudden, but prepare
+him by some round-about insinuation.’—‘I have already told you,’
+answered the curate, ‘that I will manage the affair to your mutual
+satisfaction.’ By this time, the cloth being laid[106], and every body
+sat down to table, except the captive and the ladies, who supped in
+their own apartment, the curate addressed himself to the judge,
+saying—‘I had once a comrade of your lordship’s name at Constantinople,
+where I was a slave for many years. He was one of the bravest soldiers
+and best officers in the Spanish infantry, but his misfortunes were
+equal to his valour and ability.’——‘Dear Sir,’ cried the judge, ‘what
+was that officer’s name?’—‘He was called Ruy Perez de Viedma,’ replied
+the priest, ‘and a native of some town in the mountains of Leon. He told
+me a circumstance that happened between his father, two brothers, and
+himself, which, had it not been affirmed by a person of his veracity, I
+should have looked upon as one of those tales which old women tell by
+the fire-side in winter; for he said his father divided his estate
+equally among his three sons, whom he at the same time enriched with
+advice more salutary than any that ever Cato gave. This I know, the
+choice he made of going into the army succeeded so well, that in a few
+years, by his gallant behaviour, and without any other assistance than
+that of his extraordinary virtue, he rose to be captain of foot, and saw
+himself in the straight road of becoming a field officer very soon: but
+there, where he had reason to expect the smiles of fortune, she proved
+most unkind; he having lost her, with his liberty, on that glorious day
+of the battle at Lepanto, in which it was found by so many Christians. I
+was taken in the goleta; and, after various vicissitudes, we happened to
+be fellow-slaves at Constantinople, from whence he was transported to
+Algiers, where he met with one of the strangest adventures that ever was
+known.’
+
+Then the curate briefly recapitulated the story of Zorayda, to which the
+judge listened with more attention than ever he had yielded on the
+bench[107]. But the priest brought it no farther than the period when
+the French corsairs plundered the Christians who were in the bark,
+describing the poverty and distress to which they had reduced his
+comrade and the beautiful Moor; and observing that he did not know what
+farther befel them, nor whether they had arrived in Spain, or been
+carried into France.
+
+The captain stood at some distance behind, listening to what the curate
+said, and observing the emotions of his brother; who, seeing that the
+curate had made an end of his story, uttered a profound sigh, saying,
+while the tears gushed from his eyes, ‘O Signior! if you knew how nearly
+I am concerned in what you have related, you would not wonder at these
+tears, which, in spite of all my fortitude and discretion, trickle from
+mine eyes. That valiant captain whom you have mentioned is my father’s
+eldest son, who being more brave and noble-minded than my youngest[108]
+brother and me, chose the honourable exercise of arms, which was one of
+the three paths proposed by our father in his advice, as you seem to
+have been informed by your companion in adversity. I followed that of
+letters, in which God hath been pleased to reward my diligence with that
+station which you see I now maintain: my younger brother is at present
+in Peru, so rich, that his remittances to my father and me have made
+large amends for the small sum he carried with him at first; and even
+enabled the old gentleman fully to indulge his liberal disposition,
+impowering me also to prosecute my studies with more honour and decency,
+until I acquired the post I now enjoy. My father is still alive, though
+daily pining with the desire of hearing from his eldest son, and putting
+up petitions to Heaven incessantly, that his own eyes may not be closed
+for ever until he shall have seen those of his first-born in life. What
+gives me a great deal of surprize is, that a person of his discretion
+should, in the midst of such trouble and affliction, or even in his
+prosperity, omit writing to his father; for if he, or either of us, had
+known his situation, he should have had no occasion to wait for the
+miracle of the cane in obtaining his liberty; but at present the
+uncertainty of his fate gives me the greatest concern, as it is doubtful
+whether those French have set him at liberty, or taken away his life to
+conceal their robbery. This apprehension will convert the joy and
+satisfaction with which I undertook my journey into melancholy and
+despondence.—O my dear brother! would to Heaven I knew where thou art,
+that I might go and free thee from all trouble and affliction, though at
+the expence of my own! Who shall carry the news of thy being alive to
+our aged father, that although thou art shut up in the deepest dungeon
+of Barbary, thou mayest be delivered by my brother’s riches and my
+own!—O generous and lovely Zorayda! who shall requite thy benevolence to
+my brother, be present at the regeneration of thy soul, and assist at
+the nuptials which would afford such pleasure to us all!’
+
+These and many other exclamations the judge pronounced with such
+symptoms of sorrow at the news he had received of his brother, that all
+the hearers sympathized with him in the expressions of his grief. The
+curate, seeing every thing succeed to his own expectation, and the
+captain’s desire, was unwilling to protract the judge’s anguish, and the
+impatience of the whole company; so rising from the table, and going
+into the other apartment, he led out Zorayda, who was followed by
+Lucinda, Dorothea, and the young lady lately arrived; then, taking in
+his other hand the captain, who stood waiting to see what he intended,
+he went into the room, where the judge and the rest of the gentlemen
+sat, and presenting them both, said, ‘Dry your tears, my lord judge, and
+enjoy the completion of your wish; behold your worthy brother, and
+virtuous sister-in-law: this is Captain Viedma, and that the beautiful
+Moor who behaved so generously to him in his distress: the French
+corsairs have reduced them to this extremity, that you may have an
+opportunity of displaying the liberality of your noble breast.’
+
+The captain ran to embrace his brother, who kept him off with both hands
+fixed on his shoulders, that he might consider him the more attentively;
+but no sooner did he recollect his features, than he flew into his arms,
+and shed a flood of tears of joy, while the greatest part of those who
+were present wept in concert at the affecting scene. The expressions of
+both the brothers, and their mutual demonstrations of affection, are, I
+believe, scarce to be conceived, much less described. They briefly
+recounted their adventures to each other, and manifested the genuine
+flame of fraternal affection. There the judge embraced Zorayda, making
+her a tender of all his wealth; there he commanded his daughter to
+receive her with open arms; there the mutual caresses of the beautiful
+Christian and lovely Moor renewed the tears of the whole company; there
+Don Quixote silently observed these surprising accidents, which he
+wholly attributed to the chimeras of knight-errantry; there it was
+concerted that the captain and Zorayda should return to Seville with his
+brother, from whence they could advertise their father of the liberty
+and arrival of his son; that the old gentleman being still able to
+undertake such a journey, might come and be present at the baptism and
+nuptials of his daughter-in-law; as it would be impossible for the judge
+to go far out of his way, because he was informed, that in a month the
+flota would set sail from Seville for New Spain; and it would be
+extremely inconvenient for him to lose his passage. In short, the whole
+company were exceedingly rejoiced at the captive’s good fortune; and
+two-thirds of the night being already exhausted, they agreed to retire
+and repose themselves during the remaining part of it; while Don Quixote
+undertook to guard the castle from the assaults of any giant or wicked
+adventurer that might possibly covet the vast treasure of beauty which
+it contained. Those of his acquaintance thanked him for his courteous
+offer, and afterwards gave an account of his strange disorder to the
+judge, who was not a little diverted with the detail of his
+extravagance. Sancho Panza alone was distracted at their sitting up so
+late: though, in point of lodging, he was better accommodated than all
+the rest; for he made his bed of the furniture of his ass, which cost
+him so dear, as will hereafter be seen.
+
+The ladies having retired to their apartment, and every other person
+disposed of himself as tolerably as he could, Don Quixote went out to
+keep guard at the castle gate, according to his promise; and a little
+before morning, the ladies were serenaded by a voice so clear and well
+tuned, as to attract the attention of them all, especially of Dorothea,
+who was awake, and lay in the same bed with Donna Clara de Viedma, the
+judge’s daughter. Nobody could imagine who the singer was, the voice
+being single, and unaccompanied by any instrument, and seeming to come
+sometimes from the stable, and sometimes from the court-yard. While they
+listened with equal surprize and attention, Cardenio came to the door,
+saying, ‘You that are not asleep, take notice, and you will hear the
+voice of a mule-driver, who chaunts most enchantingly.’ When Dorothea
+told him that they had heard it already, he went away; while she,
+employing her whole attention, when he began to sing again, could
+plainly distinguish the following words.
+
+Footnote 106:
+
+ This is the second time they have sat down to supper in one night.
+ Vide p. 216.
+
+Footnote 107:
+
+ A judge in Spanish is called _Oyder_, i. e. _Hearer_; and the
+ original, literally translated, is, ‘The hearer was never so much an
+ hearer before.’
+
+Footnote 108:
+
+ Cervantes seems to have forgot that the judge was the youngest of the
+ three brothers, the second having gone to the Indies.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XVI.
+ THE AGREEABLE STORY OF THE YOUNG MULETEER, WITH MANY OTHER STRANGE
+ INCIDENTS THAT HAPPENED IN THE INN.
+
+
+ I.
+
+ ‘Toss’d in a sea of doubts and fears,
+ Love’s hapless mariner I sail,
+ Where no inviting port appears,
+ To screen me from the stormy gale.
+
+ II.
+
+ ‘At distance view’d, a chearing star
+ Conducts me thro’ the swelling tide;
+ A brighter luminary, far,
+ Than Palinurus e’er descry’d.
+
+ III.
+
+ ‘My soul, attracted by its blaze,
+ Still follows where it points the way,
+ And while attentively I gaze,
+ Considers not how far I stray.
+
+ IV.
+
+ ‘But female pride, reserv’d and shy,
+ Like clouds that deepen on the day,
+ Oft shroud it from my longing eye,
+ When most I need the genial ray.
+
+ V.
+
+ ‘O lovely star, so pure and bright!
+ Whole splendour feeds my vital fire;
+ The moment thou deny’st thy light,
+ Thy lost adorer will expire!’
+
+Here the musician pausing, Dorothea thought it was pity Clara should not
+hear such an excellent voice; therefore, by gently jogging, she waked
+her, saying, ‘I ask pardon, my dear Clara, for disturbing you; but my
+intention in so doing, was to regale you with one of the best voices
+that ever you heard.’ Clara, being still half asleep, did not at first
+understand what she said, which, at her desire, Dorothea repeated; and
+the young lady listened accordingly; but scarce had she heard two lines
+of the song, which was now resumed, when she began to tremble as
+violently as if she had been seized with a severe fit of the ague,
+saying, while she hugged Dorothea, ‘Ah! dear lady of my life and soul,
+why did you wake me? The greatest favour that fortune could at present
+bestow, would be to keep both my eyes and ears fast shut, that I might
+neither see nor hear that unfortunate musician.’—‘What do you mean, my
+dear child?’ answered Dorothea; ‘consider what you say; he that sings is
+a young muleteer!’—‘Ah, no!’ replied Clara, ‘he is a young gentleman of
+great fortune, and so much master of my heart, that unless he quits it
+of his own accord, it shall remain eternally in his possession.’
+Dorothea was surprized at this passionate declaration of such a young
+creature, who seemed to have so much more sensibility than could be
+expected from her tender years; and said to her, ‘Truly, Donna Clara,
+you talk in such a manner that I do not understand you. Pray explain
+yourself, and tell me the meaning of those expressions, about fortune
+and heart, and that musician whose voice hath thrown you into such
+disorder: but say no more at present; for I would not, by attending to
+your transports, lose the pleasure of hearing the singer, who now seems
+to be tuning his voice, and preparing to give us another song.’—‘With
+all my heart,’ said Clara, stopping her ears with her fingers, to the
+farther admiration of Dorothea, who listening attentively, heard the
+musician proceed in these words:
+
+
+ I.
+
+ ‘Aspiring Hope, thou, unconfin’d,
+ Pursu’st th’ imaginary path,
+ Thro’ woods, and rocks, and waves combin’d,
+ Defying danger, toil, and death.
+
+ II.
+
+ ‘No laurel shall adorn his brow,
+ No happiness the sluggard crown;
+ Who tamely can to fortune bow,
+ And slumber on th’ inglorious down.
+
+ III.
+
+ ‘The joys unmatch’d bestow’d by love,
+ Can never be too dearly priz’d;
+ For undeny’d examples prove,
+ What’s cheaply bought, is soon despis’d.
+
+ IV.
+
+ ‘Success, by the consenting fair,
+ Is oft to perseverance given;
+ Then wherefore should my soul despair
+ Of mounting from this earth to Heaven!’
+
+Here the voice ended, and Clara’s sighs beginning afresh, kindled
+Dorothea’s curiosity to know the cause of such agreeable musick and
+grievous lamentation; she therefore now desired to hear what her
+bed-fellow had before proffered to impart. Then Clara, fearful of being
+overheard by Lucinda, crept close to Dorothea, and applying her mouth to
+her ear, so that she could securely speak without being perceived, ‘Dear
+Madam,’ said she, ‘that singer is the son of an Arragonian gentleman,
+who is lord of two towns, and when at court lives opposite to my
+father’s house; and although our windows are covered with canvas in
+winter, and lattices in summer, I know not how this young gentleman,
+while he prosecuted his studies, got sight of me, either at church or
+somewhere else; and, in short, being smitten, disclosed his passion from
+the windows of his own apartment, by so many tears and significant
+expressions, that I believed him sincere, and even loved him in my turn,
+without knowing the nature of my own desires. Among other signs, he made
+that of joining his hands, giving me to understand that he would take me
+to wife; and though I should have been extremely glad to comply with
+that proposal, as I was alone and motherless, I had nobody to consult,
+and therefore let it rest, without granting him any other favour, except
+(when his father and mine were abroad) that of lifting up the canvas or
+lattice, that he might have a more perfect view of my person; and this
+condescension always transported him so much, that I was afraid he would
+have run stark mad with joy. In the midst of this commerce, the time of
+my father’s departure drew near, of which being informed, though not by
+me, for I never had an opportunity of telling him, he fell sick, as I
+understand, of grief, so that when we set out I could not see him, as I
+wished, to indulge one parting look; but, having travelled two days,
+just as I entered the place at which we lodged last night, I perceived
+him standing at the gate, disguised so naturally in the habit of a
+muleteer, that it would have been impossible for me to know him, had not
+his image been so deeply imprinted on my soul. The sight of him filled
+me with joy and surprize; and he gazed upon me by stealth, unperceived
+by my father, from whom he always conceals his face when he crosses the
+road before me, or is obliged to appear at the inns where we lodge.
+Knowing, therefore, who he is, and that he travels on foot, undergoing
+so much hardship and fatigue for love of me, I am half dead with grief
+and anxiety, and wheresoever he sets his feet, there I fix my pitying
+eyes. I know not what he intends by thus following me, nor how he could
+manage to escape from his father, who loves him tenderly, because he has
+no heir but him; and the young gentleman deserves all his affection, as
+you will perceive when you see him. I can moreover assure you, what he
+sings is the product of his own head; for I have been told that he is a
+great scholar, and an excellent poet; every time I behold him or hear
+him sing, I start and tremble from head to foot, being afraid that he
+will be known by my father, and thus our mutual love be discovered; for,
+though I never spoke to him in my life, my passion is so violent, that
+without him I shall not be able to live. This, dear Madam, is all I can
+say concerning that musician, whose voice hath given you such pleasure,
+and is alone sufficient to convince you that he is not a muleteer, but
+the lord of towns and hearts, as I have described him.’
+
+‘Enough, Donna Clara,’ said Dorothea, kissing her with great affection;
+‘say no more, but wait with patience till the approach of a new day,
+when I hope in God to manage matters so well as to bring such a virtuous
+beginning to an happy end.’—‘Ah, Madam!’ replied the young lady, ‘what
+happy end can be expected, seeing his father is a man of such rank and
+fortune, that he would think me unworthy to be the servant, much less
+the wife of his son! and as to marrying him without my own father’s
+consent, I would not do it for the whole universe. All I desire is, that
+the young gentleman would return; perhaps his absence, and the length of
+the journey we have undertaken, will alleviate the uneasiness I at
+present felt, though I must own I believe that remedy will have small
+effect. I cannot conceive what the deuce is the matter with me; nor how
+this same love got entrance into my heart, considering how young we both
+are; for I really believe we are of the same age, and my father says,
+that till Michaelmas next, I shall not be sixteen.’ Dorothea could not
+help laughing at these innocent observations of Donna Clara; to whom she
+said, ‘Let us sleep, my dear, during the little that I believe remains
+of the night; God will grant us a new day, and if my skill fails me not,
+every thing will succeed to our wish.’
+
+They accordingly went to rest, and a general silence prevailed over the
+whole house, in which there was not a soul awake, except the innkeeper’s
+daughter and her maid Maritornes, who by this time being acquainted with
+the extravagant humour of Don Quixote, and knowing that he was then
+without the gate, keeping guard in arms and on horseback, determined to
+play some trick upon him, or at least divert themselves in listening to
+his folly.
+
+The inn chancing to have no window nor opening towards the field, but a
+hole through which they took in their straw; this pair of
+demi-ladies[109] there took their station, and observed Don Quixote, who
+sat on horseback, leaning upon his lance, and breathing from time to
+time such profound and doleful sighs, as seemed to tear his very soul;
+they likewise heard him pronounce, in a soft, complacent, and amorous
+tone, ‘O my dear mistress, Dulcinea del Toboso! thou perfection of
+beauty, scope and sum total of discretion, cabinet of good humour,
+depository of virtue, and lastly, the idea of all that is useful,
+chaste, and delectable in this life! in what art thou at present
+employed? Art thou reflecting upon thy captive knight, who voluntarily
+subjects himself to such dangers, with the sole view of serving thee?
+Give me some information of my love, thou three-faced luminary! who now,
+perhaps, with envious eyes, beholdest her walking through some gallery
+of her sumptuous palace, or leaning over some balcony, revolving in her
+mind, how, without impairing the delicacy of her honour, she may asswage
+the torments that this heart endures on her account; how she may crown
+my sufferings with glory; my care with comfort; in fine, my death with
+new life, and my service with reward; and thou, sun, who by this time
+must be busy in harnessing thy steeds to light the world, and enjoy the
+sight of her who is the sovereign of my soul, I entreat thee to salute
+her in my behalf; but, in thy salutation, beware of touching her amiable
+countenance, else I shall be more jealous of thee than ever thou wast of
+that nimble ingrate, who made thee sweat so much along the plains of
+Thessaly, or banks of Peneus, for I do not remember through which thou
+ran’st, so jealous and enamoured.’
+
+So far had the knight proceeded in this piteous exclamation, when the
+innkeepers daughter whispered softly, ‘Sir knight, will your worship be
+pleased to come this way?’ Hearing this invitation, he lifted up his
+eyes, and by the light of the moon, which was then in full splendour,
+perceived them beckon to him from the straw-hole, which he mistook for a
+window adorned with gilded bars, suitable to the grandeur of such a
+magnificent castle as the inn appeared; then his crazy imagination
+instantly suggested, as before, that the beauteous damsel, daughter of
+the constable, being captivated by his person, intended again to solicit
+his love. On this supposition, that he might not seem discourteous or
+ungrateful, he turned Rozinante, and riding up to the hole, no sooner
+perceived the two lasses, than he said, ‘I am extremely concerned, most
+beautiful lady, that you have fixed your amorous inclinations where it
+is impossible they should meet with that return which is due to your
+rank and qualifications; but you ought not to impute your disappointment
+to any fault in me, whom love hath rendered incapable of yielding my
+heart to any other but to her, who at first sight took absolute
+possession of my soul. Pardon my refusal, honoured Madam, and retire to
+your apartment, without seeking to explain your sentiments more fully,
+that I may not appear insensible or ungrateful; and if your love can
+find in me the power of giving you any other sort of satisfaction, you
+may freely command my service; for I swear by that absent and amiable
+enemy of mine, to gratify your wish immediately; even if you should
+desire to have a lock of Medusa’s hair, which was altogether composed of
+snakes, or the rays of the sun confined in a phial.’
+
+‘Sir knight,’ answered Maritornes, ‘my lady has no occasion for either
+of these things.’—‘What then is your lady’s pleasure, discreet duenna?’
+resumed the knight. ‘Only the favour of one of your beautiful hands,’
+replied Maritornes, ‘with which she may, in some measure, indulge the
+longing desire that brought her to the straw-hole, so much to the danger
+of her reputation, that if she should be detected by her father, the
+first slice of his indignation would cost her an ear at least.’—‘I would
+fain see him take that liberty,’ said Don Quixote; ‘but he will take
+care to refrain from any such acts of barbarity, unless he has a mind I
+should bring him to the most calamitous exit that ever happened to a
+father, for having laid violent hands upon the delicate members of his
+enamoured daughter.’
+
+Maritornes concluding that he would certainly grant the request, and
+having already determined on what she was to do, ran down to the stable,
+and laid hold of the halter belonging to Sancho’s ass, with which she
+instantly returned, just when Don Quixote had made shift to set his feet
+on the saddle that he might reach the gilded window, at which he
+imagined the wounded damsel was standing: presenting therefore his hand,
+‘Receive, Madam,’ said he, ‘that hand, or rather that chastiser of all
+evil-doers; receive, I say, that hand, which was never touched by any
+other woman, not even by her who is in possession of my whole body. I do
+not present it to be kissed; but that you may contemplate the contexture
+of its nerves, the knittings of the muscles, the large and swelling
+veins, from whence you may conjecture what strength must reside in the
+arm to which it belongs.’—‘That we shall see presently,’ said
+Maritornes; who having made a running knot on the halter, fixed it upon
+his wrist, and descending from the hole, made fast the other end to the
+bolt of the hay-loft door. The knight feeling the roughness of this
+bracelet, said, ‘Your ladyship seems to rasp rather than to clasp thy
+hand; do not treat it so cruelly; for it is not to blame for what you
+suffer, from my inclination; nor is it just that such a small part
+should bear the whole brunt of your indignation; consider, that one who
+is such a friend to love, ought not to be so attached to revenge.’
+
+All these expostulations of Don Quixote were uttered in vain; for as
+soon as Maritornes had tied him up, she and her companion, ready to
+expire with laughing, left him fastened in such a manner, that it was
+impossible for him to get loose: thus, while he stood on Rozinante’s
+back, with his whole arm thrust up into the straw-hole, and fast tied to
+the bolt of the door, he was in the utmost apprehension and dread, that
+if his horse should make the least motion to either side, he must lose
+his support, and the weight of his whole body hang by one arm, so that
+he durst not venture to stir; though he might have expected, from the
+patience and peaceful disposition of Rozinante, that he would stand
+motionless for a whole century. In short, finding himself thus tucked
+up, and the ladies vanished, he imagined that the whole had been
+effected by the power of inchantment, which he had experienced once
+before, in that same castle, when he was belaboured by the inchanted
+Moor of a carrier; and cursed, within himself, his want of conduct and
+discretion, in entering a second time that fortress in which he had
+fared so ill at first; it being a maxim among knights-errant, that when
+they prove an adventure, without success, they conclude it is reserved
+for another, and therefore think it unnecessary to make a second trial.
+Nevertheless, he pulled with intention to disengage his arm, but he was
+so well secured, that all his efforts were ineffectual; true it is, he
+pulled with caution, that Rozinante might not be disturbed; and though
+he had a longing desire of sitting down upon the saddle again, he found
+that he must either continue in his present upright posture, or part
+with his hand; then he began to wish for the sword of Amadis, against
+which no inchantment could prevail; then cursed his fortune; then
+exaggerated the loss which the world would sustain, while he remained
+inchanted, as he firmly believed himself to be; then he reflected anew
+upon his beloved Dulcinea del Toboso; then he called to his trusty
+squire Sancho Panza, who, stretched upon the pannel of his ass, and
+buried in sleep, at that instant, retained no remembrance of the mother
+that bore him; then he implored the assistance of the two sages,
+Lirgando and Alquife; then he invoked his good friend Urganda, for
+succour in his distress; and, in fine, the morning found him in that
+situation, so distracted and perplexed, that he roared aloud like a
+bull, without expecting that the day would put an end to this disaster,
+which he thought would be eternal, believing himself actually inchanted:
+and this opinion was confirmed, by his seeing that Rozinante scarce
+offered to stir; for he was persuaded, that in this manner, without
+eating, drinking, or sleeping, he and his horse would continue until the
+evil influence of the stars should pass over, or some other sage of
+superior skill disengage them from their inchantment.
+
+But for once he was mistaken in his calculation; for day had scarce
+began to dawn, when four men on horseback arrived at the inn, well
+mounted, and accoutred with carbines hanging at their saddle-bows; the
+knight perceiving from the place, where in spite of his misfortune, he
+still kept guard, that they thundered for entrance at the gate, which
+was still shut, called in an arrogant and haughty tone, ‘Knights or
+squires, or whosoever you are, you have no business to make such a noise
+at the gate of this castle; for it is very plain, that either the people
+within are asleep, or unaccustomed, at these hours, to open the
+fortress, which you cannot enter before the sun rise. Retire, therefore,
+and wait until the day be farther advanced, and then we shall see
+whether or not you have any title to be admitted.’
+
+‘What the devil of a fortress or castle is this, that we must observe
+such ceremony!’ said one of the company: ‘if you are the innkeeper,
+order somebody to open the door; we are all travellers, and only want to
+bait, that we may forthwith proceed on our journey, for we are in
+haste.’—‘Gentlemen,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘do you think I resemble an
+innkeeper?’—‘I don’t know what you resemble,’ answered the other, ‘but
+this I know, that you talk nonsense in calling this inn a castle.’—‘A
+castle it is,’ cried the knight, ‘and one of the best in this province;
+nay, at this very instant, it contains those who have wore crowns on
+their heads, and wielded sceptres in their hands.’—‘Or rather the
+reverse,’ said the traveller; ‘that is, the sceptre on the head, and
+crown in the hand[110]: but perhaps there may be within some company of
+strollers, who frequently wear these crowns and sceptres you mention;
+for otherwise, in such a sorry inn, without any sort of noise or stir, I
+cannot believe that any persons of such note would lodge.’—‘You know
+little of the world,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘since you are so ignorant of
+the events that happen in knight-errantry.’
+
+The other horsemen being tired with this dialogue that passed between
+the knight and their companion, began again to knock and bawl with such
+vociferation, that the landlord and all the persons in the inn waking,
+rose to see who called so furiously: about this time one of the horses
+belonging to the travellers drew near and smelled at Rozinante, who, sad
+and melancholy, with his ears hanging down, stood supporting his
+outstretched master without stirring; but at length, being made of
+flesh, though he seemed to have been carved out of a block, he was
+sensible of the civility, and turned about to repay the compliment to
+the courteous stranger; and scarce had he moved one step, when both his
+master’s feet slipping from the saddle, he would have tumbled to the
+ground had he not hung by his arm, which endured such torture in the
+shock, that he verily believed it was cut off by the wrist, or torn away
+by the shoulder. He was suspended so low, that the tops of his toes
+almost touched the ground; a circumstance that increased his calamity:
+for feeling how little he wanted of being firmly sustained, he stretched
+and fatigued himself with endeavouring to set his feet upon the ground;
+like those wretches, who, in undergoing the strappado, being hoisted up
+a very little space, increase their own torment by their eager efforts
+to lengthen their bodies, misled by the vain hope of reaching the
+ground.
+
+Footnote 109:
+
+ In the original demi-donzellas, equivalent to the modern term
+ demi-reps.
+
+Footnote 110:
+
+ Alluding to the delinquents, who were branded and marked with these
+ figures.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XVII.
+ A CONTINUATION OF THE SURPRIZING EVENTS THAT HAPPENED IN THE INN.
+
+
+Don Quixote actually made such a hideous outcry, that the innkeeper
+opened the door, and ran out to see what was the matter; while the
+strangers that remained without were no less astonished at his
+bellowing. Maritornes being also waked by the same noise, conjectured
+what might be the case, and going straight to the hay-loft without being
+perceived, untied the halter that sustained him, so that the knight came
+to the ground in sight of the landlord and strangers, who running up,
+asked what was the matter with him, and wherefore he cried so violently?
+Without answering one word, he loosed the tether from his wrist, and
+rising up, mounted Rozinante, braced his target, couched his lance, and
+making a pretty large circuit in the field, returned at a half gallop,
+pronouncing with great emphasis, ‘If any person whatever sayeth that I
+have justly suffered inchantment, I here with the permission of my Lady
+Princess Micomicona give him the lye, challenge, and defy him to single
+combat.’
+
+The travellers were amazed at his words; but their astonishment abated
+when the innkeeper told them who Don Quixote was, observing that they
+ought not to mind what he did, because he was disordered in his brain:
+they then asked if he had seen a youth about fifteen years of age,
+dressed like a young muleteer, with such and such marks, giving an exact
+description of Donna Clara’s lover. The landlord answered, there were so
+many people in his house, that he could not possibly distinguish the
+person for whom they enquired; but one of them perceiving the judge’s
+coach, ‘He must certainly be here,’ said he; ‘for this is the coach
+which they say he followed: let one of us stay at the door, and the rest
+go in to search for him; it will also be proper that one go round the
+whole house, to prevent his escaping over the yard wall.’ This plan
+being agreed upon, two of them entered the inn, another remained at the
+door, and the fourth rode round the house to reconnoitre; while the
+landlord observing every thing that passed, could not conceive the
+meaning of all this care and diligence, although he believed they were
+in search of the youth whom they had described. By this time it was
+clear day-light, and upon that account, as well as in consequence of Don
+Quixote’s roaring, all the company were awake, and got up, especially
+Donna Clara and Dorothea, who had slept very little that night; the
+first being disturbed and alarmed by reflecting that her lover was so
+near, and the other kept awake by the desire of seeing this pretended
+muleteer.
+
+Don Quixote seeing that none of the travellers took the least notice of
+him, or made any answer to his defiance, was transported with rage and
+vexation; and if he could have recollected any law of chivalry,
+authorizing a knight-errant to undertake another enterprize while he was
+under promise and oath to abstain from any adventure until that in which
+he was engaged was already atchieved, he would have assaulted them all
+together, and forced them to reply, contrary to their inclination: but
+thinking it was neither expedient nor just to begin a new enterprize
+until he had re-established the Princess Micomicona on her throne, he
+chose to be silent, waiting to see the effects of that diligence
+practised by the new comers, one of whom found the youth they came in
+quest of sleeping by the side of a muleteer, and little dreaming that
+any body was in search of him, much less that he was in any danger of
+being discovered. The man, however, shook him by the arm, saying,
+‘Truly, Signior Don Lewis, this is a very suitable dress for one of your
+quality, and the bed in which you now lie extremely well-adapted to the
+tenderness and delicacy in which your mother brought you up.’
+
+The youth rubbed his sleepy eyes, and looking stedfastly at the person
+who held him by the arm, no sooner perceived that he was one of his
+father’s servants, than he was so much surprized and confounded, that
+for a good while he could not speak one word; while the domestick
+proceeded, saying, ‘At present, Don Lewis, there is nothing else to be
+done but to exert your patience and return home, if you are not resolved
+that your father and my lady shall visit the other world; for nothing
+else can be expected from their anxiety at your absence.’—‘How did my
+father get notice that I travelled this road, and in this habit?’ said
+Don Lewis. ‘A student,’ replied the servant, ‘to whom you imparted your
+intention, was so much moved by the sorrow that took possession of your
+parents the moment you were missed, that he disclosed your scheme to
+your father, who instantly dispatched four of his domesticks in search
+of you; and we are all here, at your service, infinitely rejoiced that
+we have now an opportunity of returning speedily, and carrying you back
+to the longing eyes of those by whom you are so much beloved.’—‘That may
+depend upon my own will, and the appointment of Heaven,’ said the young
+nobleman. ‘What should you will, or Heaven ordain, but your immediate
+return, which indeed you cannot possibly avoid?’
+
+All this conversation was overheard by the muleteer with whom Don Lewis
+lay, who got up immediately, and going to Don Fernando, Cardenio, and
+the ladies, who were already dressed, told them how the man called his
+fellow-servant, Don, and communicated every thing that passed between
+them concerning the domestick’s proposal of conducting him home again,
+and the youth’s refusal to comply with his desire. This information,
+together with the knowledge of that sweet voice with which Heaven had
+endowed him, excited in all the company a desire of knowing more
+particularly who he was, and even of assisting him, should they offer
+any violence to his inclination: for this purpose, therefore, they
+repaired to the place where he still stood talking and disputing with
+his father’s servant. At the same time Dorothea coming out of her
+apartment, followed by Donna Clara, in the utmost confusion called
+Cardenio aside, and briefly related to him the story of the musician and
+the judge’s daughter; and he in his turn informed her of what passed on
+the arrival of his father’s servants. This he spoke not so softly but
+that he was overheard by Clara, who was so much affected at the news,
+that if Dorothea had not supported her, she would have fallen to the
+ground; but Cardenio desired them to retire into their apartment,
+saying, he would endeavour to set every thing to rights, and they
+accordingly followed his advice. Meanwhile, the four who had come in
+quest of Don Lewis stood round him in the inn, persuading him to return
+without loss of time, and console his melancholy father; but he assured
+them he could by no means comply with their request until he had
+finished an affair upon which his honour, life, and soul, depended. Then
+the domesticks began to be more urgent, protesting they would in no
+shape return without him; and declaring that if he would not go
+willingly, they would be obliged to carry him off by force. ‘That you
+shall never do,’ replied Don Lewis, ‘unless you carry me off dead: and
+indeed you may as well kill me, as force me away in any shape.’
+
+Most of the people in the house were now gathered together to hear the
+dispute, particularly Cardenio, Don Fernando, his companions, the judge,
+curate, barber, and Don Quixote, who thought it was no longer necessary
+to guard the castle. Cardenio being already acquainted with the young
+man’s story, asked what reason the domesticks had to carry off the youth
+contrary to his own inclination. ‘Our motive,’ replied one of the four,
+‘is to retrieve his father’s life, which is in danger of being lost on
+account of this young gentleman’s absence.’ To this declaration Don
+Lewis answered, ‘There is no reason why I should here give an account of
+my affairs; I am free, and will return if I please, otherwise none of
+you shall compel me into your measures.’—‘Your honour will, I hope, hear
+reason,’ said the servant; ‘or if you should not, it will be enough for
+us to execute our errand, as we are in duty bound.’
+
+Here the judge desiring to know the whole affair from the bottom, the
+man having lived in the same neighbourhood, knew him, and replied, ‘My
+Lord Judge, don’t you know that young gentleman is your neighbour’s son,
+who hath absented himself from his father’s house, in a dress altogether
+unbecoming his quality, as your lordship may perceive?’ Then the judge
+looking at him more attentively, recollected his features, and embracing
+him said, ‘What a frolick is this, Don Lewis? or what powerful cause
+hath induced you to come hither in a garb so ill-suited to your rank and
+fortune?’ The tears gushing into the young man’s eyes, he could not
+answer one word to the judge, who desired the four domesticks to make
+themselves easy, for all would be well; then taking Don Lewis by the
+hand, he led him aside, and asked again the cause of his coming in that
+manner.
+
+While he was employed in this and other questions, they heard a great
+noise at the inn door, occasioned by two men who had lodged all night in
+the house, and who seeing every body intent upon knowing the business of
+the four last comers, resolved to march off without paying their
+reckoning; but the innkeeper, who minded his own affairs more than those
+of any other person, stopped them on the threshold, demanded his money,
+and upbraided them for their evil intention, with such abusive language,
+as provoked them to answer by dint of fists, which they began to employ
+so dextrously, that the poor landlord found himself under the necessity
+of calling aloud for assistance. His wife and daughter seeing nobody so
+idle, consequently so proper for the purpose as Don Quixote, the damsel
+addressed him in these words: ‘Sir knight, I beseech your worship, by
+the valour which God hath given you, to go to the assistance of my poor
+father, whom two wicked men are now beating to a jelly.’ To this request
+the knight replied, with great leisure, and infinite phlegm, ‘Beautiful
+young lady, I cannot at present grant your petition, being restricted
+from intermeddling in any other adventure, until I shall have
+accomplished one in which my honour is already engaged; all that I can
+do for your service is this, run and desire your father to maintain the
+combat as well as he can, and by no means allow himself to be overcome,
+until I go and ask permission of the Princess Micomicona, to succour him
+in his distress; and if I obtain it, be assured that I will rescue him
+from all danger.’—‘Sinner that I am!’ cried Maritornes, who was then
+present, ‘before your worship can obtain that permission, my master will
+be in the other world.’—‘Allow me, Madam,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘to go
+and solicit the licence I mention, which if I obtain, I shall not make
+much account of his being in the other world, from whence I will
+retrieve him, though all its inhabitants should combine to oppose me; at
+least I shall take such vengeance on those who have sent him thither, as
+will give you full and ample satisfaction.’
+
+So saying, he went and kneeled before Dorothea, begging in the stile and
+manner of knight-errantry, that her highness would be pleased to give
+him permission to run and assist the constable of the castle, who was at
+that time involved in a very grievous disaster. The princess having very
+graciously granted his request, he braced on his target, unsheathed his
+sword, and ran to the gate, where the two guests still continued
+pummelling the landlord; but as soon as he beheld them, he stopped
+short, as if suddenly surprized, and when Maritornes and her mistress
+asked what hindered him from giving assistance to their master and
+husband, ‘I am hindered,’ answered the knight, ‘by a law, which will not
+permit me to use my sword against plebeians; but call hither my squire
+Sancho, for to him it belongs, and is peculiar, to engage in such
+vengeance and defence.’
+
+This transaction happened on the very field of battle, while kicks and
+cuffs were dealt with infinite dexterity, to the no small prejudice of
+the innkeeper’s carcase, and the rage of his wife, daughter, and
+Maritornes, who were half-distracted at seeing the cowardice of Don
+Quixote, and the distress of their lord and master. But let us here
+leave him awhile, for he shall not want one to assist him; or else, let
+him suffer with patience, and hold his tongue as becomes those who
+rashly undertake adventures which they have not strength to atchieve;
+and let us retreat backwards, about fifty yards, to see what answer Don
+Lewis made to the judge, whom we left enquiring the cause of his
+travelling on foot in such a mean habit. The youth, squeezing both his
+hands with great eagerness, in token of the excessive grief that wrung
+his heart, and shedding a flood of tears, replied to this question,
+‘Dear Sir, I can give you no other reason, but that from the first
+moment that fortune made us neighbours, and Heaven ordained that I
+should see Donna Clara, your daughter and my delight, I, that instant,
+made her mistress of my heart; and if your inclination, my real lord and
+father, does not oppose my happiness, this very day she shall be my
+lawful wife; for her I forsook my father’s house, and disguised myself
+in this manner, with a resolution to follow whithersoever she should go,
+directing my views towards her, like the arrow to its mark, and the
+needle to the pole; though she knows no more of my passion than what she
+may have understood from the tears which, at a distance, she hath often
+seen me shed. You yourself, my lord, know the rank and fortune of my
+father, whose sole heir I am. If you think that a motive sufficient for
+venturing to make me perfectly happy, receive me immediately as your
+son; and though my father, prompted perhaps by other views, should be
+disobliged at the blessing which I have chosen for myself, it is in the
+power of time to work greater changes and alterations than human
+prudence can foresee.’
+
+Here the enamoured youth left off speaking, and the judge remained in
+the utmost suspense; not only admiring the discretion with which Don
+Lewis had disclosed his passion, but also finding himself perplexed
+about the resolution he was to take, in such a sudden and unexpected
+affair. He therefore made no other reply for the present, but to desire
+he would make himself easy, and detain his servants a day longer, that
+he might have time to consider what steps it would be most proper to
+take, for the satisfaction of all concerned. Don Lewis kissed his hands
+by force, and even bathed them with his tears; a circumstance sufficient
+to melt a heart of marble, much more that of the judge, who, being a man
+of prudence, had already conceived all the advantages of such a match
+for his daughter; though he wished it could be effected, if possible,
+with the consent of the young man’s father, who, he knew, had some
+pretensions to a title for his son.
+
+By this time peace was re-established between the innkeeper and his two
+lodgers, who being persuaded by the arguments and exhortations of Don
+Quixote, more than by his threats, had paid their reckoning to the last
+farthing; and the servants of Don Lewis waited the result of the judge’s
+advice, together with their master’s resolution; when the devil, who is
+ever watchful, so ordered matters, that the barber should just then
+enter the inn; that very barber from whom Don Quixote had retrieved
+Mambrino’s helmet, and Sancho Panza taken the furniture of his ass,
+which he had exchanged for his own. This individual shaver, as he led
+his beast to the stable, perceived Sancho employed in mending something
+that belonged to the pannel, and knowing him at first sight, assaulted
+the squire in a trice, crying, ‘Ha! Don thief, I have caught you at
+last. Restore my bason and pannel, with all the furniture you stole from
+me.’
+
+Sancho seeing himself so suddenly attacked, and hearing the reproachful
+language of his antagonist, with one hand laid fast hold on the pannel,
+and with the other bestowed upon the barber such a slap in the face, as
+bathed his whole jaws in blood. But for all that, he would not quit the
+pannel which he had also seized; on the contrary, he raised his voice so
+high as to alarm the whole company, and bring them to the scene of
+contention, crying, ‘Justice! help in the king’s name! this robber wants
+to murder me, because I endeavour to recover my own property.’—‘You
+lye,’ answered the squire; ‘I am no robber; my Lord Don Quixote won
+these spoils fairly in battle.’ The knight coming up among the rest,
+beheld with infinite satisfaction, his squire so alert in offending and
+defending, and looking upon him from thenceforward as a man of valour,
+resolved in his heart, to have him dubbed with the first opportunity,
+confident that on him the order of knighthood would be very well
+bestowed. Among other things alledged by the barber in the course of the
+fray, ‘Gentlemen,’ said he, ‘that pannel belongs as much to me as my
+soul belongs to God; for I know it as well as if it had been produced by
+my own body, and though I had all the mind in the world, my ass, which
+is now in the stable, would not suffer me to tell a falshood; since you
+will not take my word, pray go and try it upon his back, and if it does
+not fit him to a hair, I shall give you leave to call me the greatest
+lyar upon earth. Besides, the very same day on which they took my
+pannel, they also robbed me of a new brass bason, never hanselled, that
+cost me a good crown[111].’
+
+Don Quixote hearing this, could contain himself no longer, but
+interposed between the combatants, whom he parted, and depositing the
+pannel on the ground, to be publickly viewed until the truth should
+appear, addressed himself thus to the spectators: ‘Gentlemen, you may
+now clearly and manifestly perceive how this honest squire errs in his
+judgment, by calling that a bason, which was, is, and shall be,
+Mambrino’s helmet; a piece of armour I won in fair and open battle, and
+now possess by the just laws of conquest. With regard to the pannel, I
+will not intermeddle; all that I can say of the matter is, that my
+squire Sancho having asked permission to take the trappings of that
+coward’s horse, and adorn his own with them, I gave him leave, and he
+took them accordingly; though I can give no other reason for their being
+now converted into a pannel, but that such transformations frequently
+happen in the events of chivalry: yet, as a confirmation of what I say,
+run, friend Sancho, and bring hither the helmet, which this honest man
+calls a bason.’
+
+‘’Fore God!’ answered Sancho, ‘if your worship has no better proof of
+our honourable doings than what you mention, Mambrino’s helmet will
+turn out a bason, as certainly as this honest man’s trappings are
+transmographied into a pannel.’—‘Do what I order,’ replied the knight;
+‘sure I am every thing in this castle cannot be conducted by
+inchantment.’ Sancho went accordingly, and fetched this bason or
+helmet of Mambrino, as his master called it, which Don Quixote taking
+in his hand, said, ‘Behold, gentlemen, with what face this plebeian
+can affirm that this is a bason, and not the helmet I have mentioned:
+now, I swear by the order of knighthood I profess, that this is the
+individual helmet which I took from him, without the least addition or
+diminution.’—‘Without all manner of doubt,’ said Sancho; ‘for since my
+master won it, to this good hour, he hath used it but in one battle,
+when he delivered those mischievous galley-slaves; and if it had not
+been for that same bason-helmet, he could not have come off so well:
+for there was a deadly shower of stones rained upon his pate in that
+storm.’
+
+Footnote 111:
+
+ Literally, ‘Lady of a crown.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XVIII.
+ THE DECISION OF THE DOUBTS CONCERNING MAMBRINO’S HELMET AND THE
+ PANNEL—WITH A FULL AND TRUE ACCOUNT OF MANY OTHER ADVENTURES.
+
+
+‘Gentlemen,’ said the barber, ‘pray favour me with your opinion
+concerning what is affirmed by these gentlefolks, who so obstinately
+maintain that this is not a bason, but a helmet!’—‘And if any one
+affirms to the contrary,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘I will make him sensible
+that he lyes, if he be a knight; and if a plebeian, that he lyes a
+thousand times.’ His own townsman, who was present all the while, being
+well acquainted with the knight’s humour, resolved to encourage him in
+his extravagance, and carry on the joke for the diversion of the
+company; with this view he addressed himself to the other shaver,
+saying, ‘Mr. Barber, or whosoever you are, you must know that I am of
+the same profession; I have had a certificate of my examination these
+twenty years; and know very well all the instruments of the art, without
+excepting one. I was, moreover, a soldier in my youth, consequently can
+distinguish an helmet, a morrion, and a casque with its beaver, together
+with every thing relating to military affairs; I mean the different
+kinds of armour wore by soldiers in the field: I say, under correction,
+and still with submission to better judgment, that the object now in
+dispute, which that worthy gentleman holds in his hand, is not only no
+barbers bason, but also, as far from being one as black is from white,
+or falshood from truth. I likewise aver, that though it is an helmet, it
+is not entire.’—‘You are certainly in the right,’ said Don Quixote, ‘for
+it wants one half, which is the beaver.’
+
+The curate, who by this time understood the intention of his friend,
+seconded his asseveration, which was also confirmed by Cardenio, Don
+Fernando, and his companions; and the judge himself would have bore a
+part in the jest, had he not been engrossed by the affair of Don Lewis;
+but that earnest business kept him in such perplexity of thought, that
+he could give little or no attention to the joke that was going forward.
+
+[Illustration: Don Quixote Displays the Bason.]
+
+‘Good God!’ cried the barber, with amazement, ‘is it possible that so
+many honourable persons should pronounce this bason to be a helmet! an
+assertion sufficient to astonish a whole university, let it be never so
+learned. Well, if that bason be an helmet, I suppose the pannel must be
+a horses trappings too, as this gentleman says.’—‘To me it seems a
+pannel,’ replied the knight; ‘but, as I have already observed, I will
+not pretend to decide whether it be the pannel of an ass, or the
+furniture of a steed.’—‘Don Quixote has no more to do but speak his
+opinion,’ said the curate; ‘for in affairs of chivalry, all these
+gentlemen, myself, and even the ladies, yield to his superior
+understanding.’—‘By Heaven! gentlemen,’ cried the knight, ‘so many
+strange accidents have happened to me, twice that I have lodged in this
+castle, that I will not venture positively to affirm the truth of any
+thing that may be asked relating to it; for I imagine that every thing
+in this place is conducted by the power of inchantment. The first time I
+passed the night in this place, I was harrassed extremely by an
+inchanted Moor that resides in the castle, while Sancho was almost as
+roughly handled by some of his attendants; and this very night I was
+suspended by one arm for the space of two hours, without knowing how or
+wherefore I incurred that misfortune. For me, therefore, to give my
+opinion in a case of such perplexity, would be a rash decision: with
+regard to the helmet, which they say is a bason, I have already
+expressed my sentiments; but dare not give a definitive sentence by
+declaring whether that be a pannel or a horse’s furniture. That I leave
+to the judgment of the good company, who not being knights, as I am,
+perhaps are not subjected to the inchantments of this place; but,
+enjoying their faculties clear and undisturbed, can judge of these
+things as they really and truly are, not as they appear to my
+imagination.’—‘Doubtless,’ replied Don Fernando, ‘Signior Don Quixote
+manifests his own prudence, in observing that to us belongs the
+determination of this affair, which, that it may be the better founded,
+I will in private take the opinions of this good company one by one, and
+then openly declare the full result of my enquiry.’
+
+To those who are acquainted with the knight’s humour, this proposal
+afforded matter of infinite diversion; but the rest being ignorant of
+the joke, looked upon it as a piece of downright madness: this was
+particularly the opinion of the domesticks belonging to Don Lewis, which
+was even espoused by himself and three travellers just arrived, who
+seemed to be troopers of the holy brotherhood, as indeed they were; but
+he that almost ran distracted was the barber, whose bason was, even in
+his own sight, transformed into Mambrino’s helmet, while he expected
+every moment that his pannel would be certainly declared the rich
+trappings and furniture of a horse. Every body laughed to see Don
+Fernando going about with great gravity collecting opinions in whispers,
+that each might privately declare whether that jewel, about which there
+had been such obstinate disputes, was the pannel of an ass, or the
+furniture of a steed. Having received the answers of all those who knew
+Don Quixote, he pronounced aloud, ‘Truly, honest friend, I am quite
+tired with asking so many opinions: for every one to whom I put the
+question, affirms it is downright distraction to call this a pannel,
+which is certainly the furniture of a horse, and that too of an
+excellent breed. Therefore, you must e’en have patience: for in spite of
+you, and the testimony of your ass to boot, an horse’s furniture it must
+remain, as you have failed so egregiously in the proof of what you
+alledge.’—‘May I never taste the joys of heaven!’ cried the transported
+barber, ‘if you are not all deceived; and so may my soul appear before
+God, as this appears to me, a mere pannel, and not the furniture of an
+horse! but thus might overcomes[112]——I say no more, neither am I drunk,
+being fresh and fasting from every thing but sin.’
+
+The company laughed as heartily at the simplicity of the barber as the
+extravagance of the knight, who upon this decision, said, ‘Nothing now
+remains, but that every one should take his own again; and may St. Peter
+bless what God bestows[113].’ One of the four servants belonging to Don
+Lewis now interposed, saying, ‘If this be not a premeditated joke, I
+cannot persuade myself that people of sound understanding, such as all
+this company are or seem to be, should venture to say and affirm that
+this is no bason, nor that a pannel; yet seeing this is both said and
+affirmed, I conceive there must be some mystery in thus insisting upon a
+thing so contrary to truth and experience; for, by God!’ (an oath he
+swore with great emphasis) ‘all the people on earth shall never make me
+believe that this is not a barber’s bason, or that not the pannel of an
+he-ass.’—‘Why not of a she-ass?’ said the curate. ‘That distinction
+makes no difference,’ said the servant; ‘nor has it any concern with the
+dispute, which is occasioned by your saying that it is not a pannel at
+all.’
+
+At the same time, one of the troopers who had entered and been witness
+to the quarrel and question, could no longer contain his choler and
+displeasure at what he heard; and therefore said, in a furious tone, ‘If
+that is not a pannel, my father never begat me; and he that says, or
+shall say the contrary, must be drunk.’—‘You lye, like an infamous
+scoundrel!’ replied Don Quixote; who lifting up his lance, which he
+still kept in his hand, aimed such a stroke at the troopers skull, that
+if he had not been very expeditious in shifting it, he would have been
+stretched at full length upon the ground, on which the weapon was
+shivered to pieces: the rest of the troop, seeing their companion so
+roughly handled, raised their voices, crying for help to the holy
+brotherhood; the innkeeper being of that fraternity, ran in for his
+tipstaff and sword, and espoused the cause of his brethren; the
+domesticks surrounded Don Lewis, that he might not escape in the
+scuffle; the barber seeing the house turned topsy-turvey, laid hold
+again of the pannel, which was at the same time seized by Sancho; Don
+Quixote attacked the troopers sword-in-hand; Don Lewis called to his
+servants to leave him, and go to the assistance of Cardenio and Don
+Fernando, who had ranged themselves on the side of Don Quixote; the
+curate exhorted, the landlady screamed, the daughter wept, Maritornes
+blubbered, Dorothea was confounded, Lucinda perplexed, and Donna Clara
+fainted away. The barber pummelled Sancho, who returned the compliment;
+one of the servants presuming to seize Don Lewis by the arm, that he
+might not run away, the young gentleman gave him such a slap in the face
+as bathed all his teeth in blood; the judge exerted himself in his
+defence. Don Fernando having brought one of the troopers to the ground,
+kicked his whole carcase to his heart’s content; the landlord raised his
+voice again, roaring for help to the holy brotherhood; so that the whole
+inn was a scene of lamentation, cries, shrieks, confusion, dread,
+dismay, disaster, back-strokes, cudgelling, kicks, cuffs, and effusion
+of blood. In the midst of this labyrinth, chaos, and composition of
+mischief, Don Quixote’s imagination suggested that he was all of a
+sudden involved in the confusion of Agramonte’s camp, and therefore
+pronounced with a voice that made the whole inn resound, ‘Let every man
+forbear, put up his sword, be quiet and listen, unless he be weary of
+his life.’
+
+On hearing this exclamation, all the combatants paused, while he
+proceeded thus: ‘Did not I tell you, gentlemen, that this castle was
+inchanted, and doubtless inhabited by a whole legion of devils? as a
+proof of which, you may now perceive with your own eyes how the discord
+and mutiny in Agramonte’s camp is translated hither: behold, in one
+place, we fight for a sword; in another, for a horse; in a third, for an
+eagle; and in a fourth, for a helmet; in short, we are all by the ears
+together, for we know not what.—Advance, therefore, my lord judge, and
+Mr. Curate, and in the persons of Agramonte and King Sobrino,
+re-establish peace among us; for, by Almighty God! it were wicked and
+absurd, that persons of our importance should be slain in such a
+frivolous cause.’
+
+The troopers, who did not understand the knight’s stile, and found
+themselves very severely treated by Don Fernando, Cardenio, and their
+companions, would not be pacified; but it was otherwise with the barber,
+who, in the scuffle, had lost both his pannel and beard: Sancho, who,
+like a faithful servant, minded the least hint of his master, willingly
+obeyed, and the servants of Don Lewis were fain to be quiet, seeing how
+little they had got by concerning themselves in the fray; the innkeeper
+alone insisted upon their chastising the insolence of that madman, who
+was every moment throwing the whole house into confusion; at length the
+disturbance was appeased, the pannel remained as an horse’s furniture
+till the day of judgment, the bason as an helmet, and the inn as a
+castle, in Don Quixote’s imagination.
+
+Every thing being thus amicably composed by the persuasion of the judge
+and priest, the servants of Don Lewis began again to press him with
+great obstinacy to set out with them for his father’s house immediately;
+and while he expostulated with them, the judge consulted with Don
+Fernando, Cardenio, and the curate, about what he should do on this
+occasion; imparting to them the declaration Don Lewis had made; at last
+it was agreed that Don Fernando should tell the servants who he was, and
+express a desire that Don Lewis should accompany him to Andalousia,
+where his brother the marquis should entertain him according to his rank
+and merit; for he well knew the young gentleman was fixed in the
+determination of being cut to pieces rather than return to his father at
+that time. The domesticks being informed of Don Fernando’s quality, and
+understanding the resolution of Don Lewis, determined amongst themselves
+that three of them should return and give the father an account of what
+had happened, while the fourth should attend the young gentleman, until
+they should either come back for him, or know his father’s pleasure.
+
+In this manner was that accumulation of quarrels appeased by the
+authority of Agramonte and prudence of King Sobrino; but the enemy of
+concord and rival of peace being thus foiled and disappointed, and
+seeing how little fruit he had reaped from the labyrinth of confusion in
+which he had involved them, determined to try his hand once more, and
+revive discord and disturbance anew; and these were the means he
+practised for this purpose: the troopers, apprized of the quality of
+those with whom they had been engaged, were fain to be quiet and retreat
+from the fray, concluding that whatever might happen they would have the
+worst of the battle; but one of them who had been pummelled and kicked
+by Don Fernando, recollected that among other warrants for apprehending
+delinquents, he had one against Don Quixote, issued by the holy
+brotherhood, on account of his having set the galley-slaves at liberty,
+as Sancho had very justly feared: this coming into his head, he was
+resolved to assure himself whether or not the knight’s person agreed
+with the description, and pulling out of his bosom a bundle of
+parchment, he soon found what he sought, and beginning to spell with
+great deliberation (for he was by no means an expert reader) between
+every word he fixed his eyes upon the knight, whose physiognomy he
+compared with the marks specified in the warrant, and discovered beyond
+all doubt that he was the very person described; no sooner was he thus
+convinced, than putting up the parchment, and holding the warrant in his
+left-hand, he with his right seized Don Quixote so fast by the collar
+that he could scarce fetch his breath, roaring aloud, ‘Help, in the name
+of the holy brotherhood; and that you may see my demand is just, read
+that warrant for apprehending this highwayman.’
+
+The curate, upon perusing the warrant, found what the trooper said was
+true, and that the description exactly agreed with the person of Don
+Quixote, who seeing himself so unworthily treated by such a ragamuffin,
+was incensed to the highest degree, so that every bone in his body
+trembled with rage; and he made shift to fasten on the trooper’s throat
+with both hands so violently, that if his companions had not come to his
+assistance, he would have quitted his life before the knight had quitted
+his hold. The innkeeper being obliged to succour his brethren, ran
+immediately to their assistance; his wife seeing her husband re-engaged
+in the quarrel, exalted her voice anew; Maritornes and the daughter
+squalled in concert, imploring heaven and the bye-standers for help:
+Sancho perceiving what passed, ‘By the Lord!’ cried he, ‘what my master
+says about the inchantments of this castle is certainly true; for it is
+impossible to live an hour in quiet within its walls.’
+
+Don Fernando parted the knight and trooper, to their mutual
+satisfaction; unlocking their hands, which were fast clinched in the
+doublet-collar of the one, and the wind-pipe of the other, but for all
+that they did not cease demanding their prisoner, and the assistance of
+the company, in binding and delivering him to their charge, agreeable to
+the service of the king, and the order of the holy brotherhood, in whose
+behalf they repeated their demand of favour and assistance, to secure
+that felon, robber, and thief. Don Quixote smiled at hearing these
+epithets, and with much composure replied, ‘Come hither, ye vile and
+base-born race! do you call it the province of an highwayman to loose
+the chains of the captive, and set the prisoner free! to succour the
+miserable, raise the fallen, and relieve the distressed? Ah! infamous
+crew! whose low and grovelling understanding renders you unworthy that
+Heaven should reveal to you the worth that is contained in
+knight-errantry, or make you sensible of your sin and ignorance, in
+neglecting to revere the very shadow, much more the substance of any
+knight. Come hither, ye rogues in a troop, and not troopers; ye robbers
+licensed by the holy brotherhood; and tell me what ignorant wretch he
+was, who signed a warrant of caption against such a knight as me? Who
+did not know that we are exempted from all judicial authority, and that
+a knight’s own sword is his law, he being privileged by his valour, and
+restricted only by his will and pleasure? Who was the blockhead, I say,
+who does not know, that no gentleman’s charter contains so many rights
+and indulgences as adhere to a knight-errant, the very day on which he
+is dubbed, and devotes himself to the painful exercise of arms? What
+knight-errant ever paid tax, toll, custom, duty, or excise? What taylor
+ever brought in a bill for making his cloaths? What governor ever made
+him pay for lodging in his castle? What king did ever neglect to seat
+him at his own table? What damsel ever resisted his charms, or refused
+to submit herself entirely to his pleasure and will? And, in fine, what
+knight-errant ever was, is, or will be, whose single valour is not
+sufficient to annihilate four hundred troopers, should they presume to
+oppose him?’
+
+Footnote 112:
+
+ The original would be more literally translated, by saying, ‘The law’s
+ measure is the king’s pleasure.’
+
+Footnote 113:
+
+ A bridal benediction.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIX.
+ IN WHICH IS CONCLUDED THE NOTABLE ADVENTURE OF THE TROOPERS—WITH AN
+ ACCOUNT OF THE SURPRIZING FEROCITY OF OUR WORTHY KNIGHT DON QUIXOTE.
+
+
+While Don Quixote harangued in this manner, the curate was employed in
+persuading the troopers, that he was a man disordered in his judgment,
+as they might perceive both by his words and actions, and therefore they
+ought not to proceed any farther in the affair; for even if they should
+apprehend him, he would soon be dismissed as a person _non compos_. To
+this observation the man who had the warrant replied, that it was not
+his business to judge of Don Quixote’s madness, but to obey the orders
+of his superiors; and that if he was apprehended once, they might
+discharge him three hundred times over, if they would. ‘For all that,’
+said the priest, ‘you must not carry him off at present, nor do I
+believe he will suffer himself to be so treated.’
+
+In short, the curate talked so effectually, and the knight himself acted
+such extravagancies, that the troopers must have been more mad than he,
+if they had not plainly perceived his defect; therefore they thought
+proper to be satisfied, and even performed the office of mediators
+betwixt the barber and Sancho Panza, who still maintained the fray with
+great animosity; for the troopers, as limbs of justice, brought the
+cause to an arbitration, and decided it in such a manner as left both
+parties if not fully satisfied, at least in some sort content with the
+determination, which was, that the pannels should be exchanged, but the
+girths and halters remain as they were. With regard to Mambrino’s
+helmet, the curate, unperceived by Don Quixote, took the barber aside,
+and paid him eight rials for the bason, taking a receipt in full, that
+cleared the knight from any suspicion of fraud from thence forward, for
+ever, Amen.
+
+These two quarrels, which were of the greatest importance of any that
+happened, being luckily composed, it remained that three of the servants
+belonging to Don Lewis should return, and the fourth accompany his
+master to the place whither Don Fernando intended to conduct him; and as
+good luck and favourable fortune had already began to quell the spirit
+of discord, and smooth all difficulties, in behalf of the lovers and
+heroes of the inn, they were resolved to proceed in such a laudable
+work, and bring every thing to a happy conclusion; for the domesticks
+were satisfied with what Don Lewis proposed; a circumstance that gave
+such pleasure to Donna Clara, that every body who beheld her face might
+have discerned the joy of her soul. Zorayda, though she did not well
+understand the incidents she had seen, was sorrowful and gay, by turns,
+according as she perceived the company affected, particularly her
+Spaniard, upon whom her eyes and heart were always fixed. The innkeeper,
+who took particular notice of the full satisfaction which the barber had
+received from the curate, demanded payment of Don Quixote, of the
+reckoning, as well as for the damage he had done to the bags, and the
+loss of his wine; swearing that neither Rozinante nor Sancho’s ass
+should stir from the stable, until he should be satisfied to the last
+farthing[114]. The curate pacified the landlord, and Don Fernando paid
+the bill, although the judge very frankly offered to take that upon
+himself. In this manner universal concord was restored; so that the inn
+no longer represented the disorder in Agramonte’s camp, but rather the
+peace and quiet that reigned in the time of Octavius Cæsar; and this
+blessing was generally ascribed to the laudable intention and great
+eloquence of the priest, together with the incomparable generosity of
+Don Fernando.
+
+Don Quixote now finding himself freed and disentangled from so many
+broils in which both he and his squire had been involved, thought it
+high time to proceed on his journey, in order to finish that great
+adventure to which he had been summoned and chosen: he therefore, with
+determined purpose, went and fell upon his knees before Dorothea, who
+refusing to hear him in that posture, he rose in obedience to her will,
+and expressed himself in this manner: ‘It is a common proverb, beauteous
+princess, that diligence is the mother of success; and in many important
+causes, experience hath shewn that the assiduity of the solicitor hath
+brought a very doubtful suit to a very fortunate issue. But the truth of
+this maxim is no where more evinced than in war, where activity and
+dispatch anticipate the designs of the enemy, and obtain the victory
+before he has time to put himself in a posture of defence. This I
+observe, most high and excellent princess, because, in my opinion, our
+stay in this castle is unprofitable and prejudicial, as we may one day
+perceive, when it is too late; for who knows but by means of secret and
+artful spies, your enemy, the giant, may get notice that I am coming to
+destroy him; and taking the opportunity of our delay, fortify himself in
+some impregnable castle, against which all my diligence, and the
+strength of my indefatigable arm, will not avail. Wherefore, most noble
+princess, let us, as I have already observed, prevent his designs by our
+activity, and set out immediately, in the name of good fortune, which
+your highness shall not long sigh for, after I shall have come within
+sight of your adversary.’
+
+Here the knight left off speaking, and with great composure expected the
+answer of the beautiful infanta; who, with a most princely air, and in a
+stile perfectly well-suited to his address, replied in this manner: ‘I
+thank you, Sir Knight, for the desire you express to assist me in my
+necessity, like a true knight, whose duty and province it is, to succour
+the fatherless and distressed; and Heaven grant that your desire and my
+expectation may be fulfilled, that you may see there are grateful women
+upon earth. With regard to my departure, let it be as speedy as you
+please: my will is altogether included in yours; dispose of me,
+therefore, according to your own pleasure; for she who hath once
+invested you with the charge and defence of her person, and solely
+depends upon your valour, for being re-established on her throne, would
+act preposterously, in seeking to contradict what your prudence shall
+ordain.’—‘In the name of God, then,’ cried Don Quixote, ‘since a
+princess humbles herself thus before me, I will not let slip the
+opportunity of raising her up, and placing her upon the throne of her
+ancestors. Let us depart immediately; for the desire of seeing you
+restored, the length of the journey, and the common reflection, that
+“delays are dangerous,” act as spurs upon my resolution; and since
+Heaven hath not created, nor hell ever seen an object that could strike
+me with terror and consternation—go, Sancho, saddle Rozinante, prepare
+the queen’s palfrey, and get ready your own ass, while we take leave of
+the constable and these noble personages, and set forward on our
+journey, without loss of time.’
+
+Here Sancho, who was present all the time, shook his head, saying, ‘Ah,
+master, master! there are more tricks in town than you dream of; with
+submission to the honourable lappets be it spoken.’—‘What tricks can
+there be either in town or city, that can redound to my discredit,
+rascal?’ cried the knight. ‘Nay, if your worship be in a passion,’
+replied the squire, ‘I will keep my tongue within my teeth, and not
+mention a syllable of what, as a trusty squire and faithful servant, I
+am bound to reveal to my master.’—‘Say what thou wouldst,’ answered Don
+Quixote, ‘so thy words have no tendency to make me afraid; for in being
+susceptible of fear, thou shewest the baseness of thy own character, as
+I, in being proof against all sorts of terror, preserve the dignity of
+mine.’—‘As I am a sinner to God,’ cried Sancho, ‘that is not the case;
+but this I know for truth and positive certainty, that this lady, who
+calls herself queen of the great kingdom of Micomicon, is no more a
+queen than my mother; for if she were what she pretends to be, she would
+not be nuzzling into a corner with one of this company, at every snatch
+of an opportunity.’
+
+Dorothea’s face was overspread with a blush, at these words of Sancho;
+for, sooth to say, her husband Don Fernando had several times, as he
+thought unperceived, made free with her lips, as earnest of that reward
+his affection deserved; and in so doing, she was observed by Sancho, who
+thought that such condescension in her looked more like the behaviour of
+a courtezan than that of such a mighty princess; so that she neither
+could nor would answer one word to this charge, but suffered him to
+proceed in these words: ‘This, dear master, I make bold to mention;
+because, if after we have travelled the Lord knows how far, and passed
+many weary days and bitter nights, he that is taking his recreation in
+this inn should gather the fruit of all our labour; we need not be in
+such a perilous hurry to saddle Rozinante, prepare the palfrey, and get
+ready the ass; but had better remain in peace where we are; and, as the
+saying is, “While we enjoy our meal, let every harlot mind her
+spinning-wheel.”’
+
+Gracious Heaven! what a torrent of indignation entered the breast of Don
+Quixote, when he heard these indecent expressions of his squire: such, I
+say, was the rage that took possession of his faculties, that with a
+faltering voice and stammering tongue, while his eyes flashed lightning,
+he exclaimed, ‘O villainous, inconsiderate, indecent and ignorant
+peasant! thou foul-mouthed, unmannerly, insolent, and malicious
+slanderer! darest thou utter such language against these honourable
+ladies in my presence? darest thou entertain such disgraceful and
+audacious ideas in thy confused imagination? Get out of my sight,
+monster of nature, depository of lyes, cupboard of deceit, granary of
+knavery, inventor of mischief, publisher of folly, and foe to that
+respect which is due to royalty; go, nor presume to see my face again,
+on pain of my highest displeasure!’ so saying, he pulled up his
+eye-brows, distended his cheeks, looked round him, and with his
+right-foot stamped violently upon the floor, in consequence of the wrath
+that preyed upon his intrails.
+
+Sancho was so shrunk and terrified at these words and furious gestures,
+that he would have been glad, if the earth had opened that instant under
+his feet and swallowed him up; and not knowing what else to do, he
+sneaked off from the presence of his incensed master: but the discreet
+Dorothea, who was so well acquainted with Don Quixote’s humour, in order
+to appease his indignation, accosted him thus; ‘Sir Knight of the Rueful
+Countenance, let not your wrath be kindled by the nonsense which your
+good squire hath uttered, for, perhaps, he might have had some sort of
+reason for what he said; and as from his good understanding and
+Christian conscience, he cannot be suspected of a design to bear false
+witness against any person whatever, it is to be supposed, and indeed I
+firmly believe, that every thing in this castle, as you, Sir Knight,
+have observed, being conducted by means of inchantment, Sancho, through
+that diabolical medium, must have seen what he affirms, so much to the
+prejudice of my honour and reputation.’—‘I swear by Almighty God!’ cried
+Don Quixote, ‘that your highness hath hit upon the true cause! and the
+eyes of that poor sinner, Sancho, have been fascinated by some delusive
+vision, of what could not possibly be real; for, unless he had been
+misled by inchantment, such is the innocence and simplicity of that
+miserable wretch, that I know he neither could nor would invent a
+slander against any living soul.’—‘That certainly is, and shall be the
+case,’ said Don Fernando; ‘for which reason, Signior Don Quixote ought
+to pardon and restore him to the bosom of his favour, _Sicut erat in
+principio_, before those illusions impaired his understanding.’
+
+The knight promised to forgive him accordingly; upon which the curate
+went in quest of Sancho, who came in with great humility, and falling on
+his knees, begged leave to kiss his master’s hand; this favour was
+granted by Don Quixote, who also gave him his benediction, saying, ‘Thou
+wilt now, son Sancho, be convinced of the truth of what I have so often
+told thee, that all things in this castle are performed by the power of
+inchantment.’—‘I believe so too,’ replied the squire, ‘except in the
+affair of the blanketting, which really happened in the ordinary course
+of things.’—‘Thou must not imagine any such thing,’ answered the knight;
+‘for had that been the case, I should have revenged thy cause at the
+time, and even now would do thee justice; but neither at that time nor
+now, could I, or can I find any persons to chastise as the cause of thy
+disaster.’
+
+The company being desirous of knowing the affair of the blanket, the
+landlord gave a very minute detail of Sancho’s capering, to the no small
+diversion of all present, except the squire himself, who would have been
+very much out of countenance, had not the knight assured him anew, that
+the whole was effected by inchantment; though the folly of Sancho never
+rose to such a pitch, but that he firmly believed, without the least
+mixture of doubt or delusion, that his blanketting had been performed by
+persons of flesh and blood, and not by phantoms or imaginary beings,
+according to the opinion and affirmation of his master.
+
+Two days had this illustrious company already passed at the inn, from
+whence thinking it now high time to depart, they concerted matters in
+such a manner, as that, without putting Dorothea and Don Fernando to the
+trouble of returning with Don Quixote to the place of his habitation, in
+order to carry on the scheme concerning the restoration of Queen
+Micomicona, the curate and barber were enabled to execute their design
+of carrying him to his own house, where endeavours might be used for the
+cure of his disorder. In consequence of this plan, they agreed with the
+master of an ox waggon, who chanced to pass that way, for transporting
+the knight in the following manner; having made a sort of wooden cage,
+capacious enough to hold Don Quixote at his ease, Don Fernando, with his
+companions, the servants of Don Lewis, together with the troopers and
+innkeeper, by order and direction of the curate, covered their faces and
+disguised themselves, some in one shape, some in another, so as to
+appear, in Don Quixote’s eyes, quite different from the people he had
+seen in the castle. Thus equipped, they entered, with all imaginable
+silence, into the chamber where he lay asleep and fatigued with the toil
+he had undergone in the skirmishes already described; and laying fast
+hold on him, while he securely enjoyed his ease, without dreaming of
+such an accident, tied both his hands and feet so effectually, that when
+he waked, in surprize, he could neither move, nor do any other thing but
+testify his wonder and perplexity at the sight of such strange faces. He
+then had recourse to what his distempered imagination continually
+suggested, and concluded that all these figures were phantoms of that
+inchanted castle; and that he himself was, without all question, under
+the power of incantation, seeing he could not even stir in his own
+defence; and this conceit was exactly foreseen by the curate, who was
+author of the whole contrivance. The only person of the whole company
+who remained unaltered, both in figure and intellect, was Sancho; who,
+though his lack of understanding fell very little short of his master’s
+infirmity, was not so mad but that he knew every one of the apparitions,
+though he durst not open his mouth, until he should see the meaning of
+this assault and capture of the knight, who likewise expected, in
+silence, the issue of his own misfortune.
+
+Having brought the cage into his apartment, they inclosed him in it, and
+fixed the bars so fast, that it was impossible to pull them asunder;
+then taking it on their shoulders, in carrying it out, they were saluted
+by as dreadful a voice as could be assumed by the barber (I do not mean
+the owner of the pannel) who pronounced these words; ‘O Knight of the
+Rueful Countenance! afflict not thyself on account of thy present
+confinement, which is necessary towards the more speedy accomplishment
+of that great adventure in which thy valour hath engaged thee; and which
+will be atchieved when the furious Manchegan lion is coupled with the
+white Tobosian dove, their lofty necks being humbled to the soft
+matrimonial yoke: from which unheard-of conjunction, the world shall be
+blessed with courageous whelps, who will imitate the tearing talons of
+their valiant sire; and this will happen, ere the pursuer of the
+fugitive nymph shall have twice performed his visit through the
+resplendent constellations, in his natural and rapid course.—And O! thou
+the most noble and obedient squire that ever wore sword in belt, beard
+on chin, or smell in nostril, be not dismayed nor discontented at seeing
+the flower of knight-errantry thus carried off before thine eyes; for,
+if it please the Creator of this world, soon shalt thou be so exalted
+and sublimed, as that thou wilt not even know thyself; neither shalt
+thou be defrauded of the fruit of those promises which thy worthy lord
+has made in thy behalf; and I assure thee, in the name of the sage
+Fibberiana[115], that thy salary shall be faithfully paid, as in effect
+thou wilt see; follow, therefore, the footsteps of the valiant and
+inchanted knight; for it is necessary that you should proceed together
+to the end of your career; and as I am not permitted to declare myself
+more explicitly, I bid you heartily farewel, and will return I well know
+whither.’ Towards the end of this prophecy, he raised his voice to the
+highest pitch, and then sunk it gradually to such a faint and distant
+tone, that even those who were privy to the joke, were tempted to
+believe what they had heard.
+
+Don Quixote remained very much comforted by this prophecy, the meaning
+of which he no sooner heard than comprehended; interpreting the whole
+into a promise, that he should one day see himself joined in the just
+and holy hands of matrimony with his beloved Dulcinea del Toboso, from
+whose fortunate womb would proceed those whelps (meaning his sons) which
+would perpetuate the glory of La Mancha. In this persuasion, therefore,
+and firm belief, he raised his voice, and heaving a profound sigh,
+replied, ‘O thou! whosoever thou art, whose prognostication sounds so
+favourably in mine ears, I beg thou wilt, in my name beseech the sage
+inchanter who takes charge of my affairs, that he will not leave me to
+perish in the confinement which I now suffer, until I shall have seen
+the accomplishment of those joyful and incomparable promises which thou
+hast uttered in my behalf. So shall I glory in the hardships of this
+prison, and bear with pleasure these chains with which my limbs are
+fettered; and instead of comparing the boards on which I lie, to the
+rough, uncomfortable field of battle, consider them as the soothing down
+of the most happy and luxurious marriage-bed. With respect to the
+consolation of Sancho Panza, my squire, I confide in his virtue and
+affection, which will not allow him to forsake me either in prosperity
+or adversity; for should his evil fortune, or my unhappy fate, hinder me
+from bestowing upon him the island, or some equivalent, according to my
+promise; at least, he shall not lose his wages, specified and bequeathed
+to him in my will, that is already made; a recompence which, though
+proportioned to my own slender ability, comes far short of his great and
+faithful services.’
+
+Here the squire bowed in the most respectful manner, and kissed both his
+hands, as he could not make his compliments to one of them apart, they
+being fast bound together. Then the apparitions taking the cage upon
+their shoulders, carried it to the waggon, in which it was immediately
+fixed.
+
+Footnote 114:
+
+ It were to be wished, for the honour of Spanish innkeepers, that
+ Cervantes had caused mine host to restore Sancho’s wallet, which he
+ had detained on the day of the blanketting; as such restitution would
+ have increased the general satisfaction.
+
+Footnote 115:
+
+ A word of equal signification with _mentironiana_, from _mentereso_, a
+ lyar.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XX.
+ AN ACCOUNT OF THE STRANGE MANNER IN WHICH DON QUIXOTE
+ WAS INCHANTED—WITH OTHER REMARKABLE EVENTS.
+
+
+Don Quixote seeing himself thus encaged, and placed upon a cart, could
+not help saying, ‘Many very grave histories have I read, concerning
+knights-errant; but never did I read, see, or hear, that inchanted
+knights were transported in this manner, at such a pace as these lazy,
+slow-footed animals, seem to promise; for they used always to be carried
+through the air with surprizing swiftness, wrapped up in some dark and
+dusky cloud, or in a fiery chariot, or mounted on a hypogriff, or some
+such creature; so that, before God! I am utterly confounded at my own
+fate, in being thus transported on a waggon drawn by oxen. But, perhaps,
+the chivalry and inchantments of this age follow a different path from
+that which was pursued of old; and as I am a new knight on the face of
+the earth, and the first who revived the long-forgotten order of
+errantry, perhaps they might have also newly invented other kinds of
+incantation, and other methods of conveying those whom they
+inchant.—What is thy opinion of the matter, son Sancho?’—‘I know not
+what my opinion is,’ replied the squire, ‘because I am not so well read
+in the scriptures of errantry as your worship; but, for all that, I will
+venture to affirm, aye and swear to it, that these apparitions who
+stroll about us, are not altogether catholick.’—‘Catholick! my
+stars[116]!’ answered the knight, ‘how can they be catholick, when they
+are all devils, who have assumed fantastical shapes, and come hither on
+purpose to perform this deed, and leave me in my present situation? But
+that thou mayest be convinced of the truth of what I alledge[117],
+endeavour to touch and feel them, and thou wilt perceive that they have
+no other bodies but forms of condensed air consisting of nothing but
+mere semblance.’—‘’Fore God, Sir!’ cried Sancho, ‘I have made that trial
+already, and that same devil who goes about so busy, is well provided
+with good substantial flesh, and has another property widely different
+from what is reported of evil spirits, all of whom, they say, stink of
+brimstone and other bad smells; whereas, he is so well scented with
+amber, that you may perceive it at the distance of half a league.’
+Sancho made this remark on Don Fernando, who being a man of fashion,
+probably wore scented linen. ‘Marvel not at that circumstance, friend
+Sancho,’ replied the knight; ‘for thou must know that devils are a set
+of very sagacious beings; and although they bring smells along with
+them, they themselves being spirits, can produce no smell; or if any
+odour proceeds from them, it cannot be agreeable, but rather stinking
+and unwholesome, because they carry their hell about them wheresoever
+they are, and their torments admit of no kind of alleviation; now, sweet
+smells being agreeable and delicious, cannot possibly proceed from
+beings which are productive of nought but evil; therefore, if in thy
+opinion that devil smells of amber, either thy senses are perverted, or
+he wants to impose upon thy understanding, by making thee believe that
+he is not an inhabitant of hell.’
+
+Don Fernando and Cardenio overhearing this dialogue between the master
+and the squire, were afraid of Sancho’s stumbling upon the discovery of
+their whole plot, in which he seemed already to have made great
+progress, therefore determined to hasten their departure, and calling
+the landlord aside, ordered him to saddle Rozinante, and put the pannel
+on Sancho’s ass. This talk he performed with great dispatch, while the
+curate agreed to give the troopers so much a day for attending Don
+Quixote to the town where he lived. Cardenio having fastened the target
+to one side of the pummel of Rozinante’s saddle, and the bason to the
+other, made signs for Sancho to mount his ass, and lead his master’s
+steed by the bridle, and then stationed two of the troopers with their
+carbines on each side of the waggon. But before it began to move, the
+landlady, her daughter, and Maritornes, came out to take leave of Don
+Quixote, feigning themselves extremely affected with his misfortune;
+upon which he said to them, ‘Weep not, worthy ladies; all these
+disasters are incident to those who chuse my profession; and if I were
+not subject to such calamities, I should not deem myself a renowned
+knight-errant; for these things never happen to knights of little fame
+and reputation, who are never regarded, scarce even remembered on the
+face of the earth. It is quite otherwise with the valiant, whose virtue
+and valour are envied by many princes and rivals, who endeavour by the
+most perfidious means to destroy them; but, nevertheless, virtue is so
+powerful, that of herself she will, in spite of all the necromancy
+possessed by the first inventor, Zoroaster, come off conqueror in every
+severe trial, and shine refulgent in the world, as the sun shines in the
+heavens. Pardon me, beauteous ladies, if I have given you any disgust,
+through neglect or omission; for willingly and knowingly I never
+offended a living soul; and pray to God to deliver me from this prison,
+in which I am confined by some malicious inchanter; for, if I regain my
+liberty, the favours I have received from your courtesy in this castle,
+shall never escape my remembrance, but always be acknowledged with
+gratitude, service, and respect.’
+
+While the knight made these professions to the ladies of the castle, the
+curate and barber took their leave of Don Fernando and his companions,
+the captain and his brother, and all the happy ladies, especially
+Dorothea and Lucinda; they embraced each other, and agreed to maintain a
+correspondence by letters; Don Fernando giving the curate a direction by
+which he might write to him an account of the knight’s future behaviour
+and fate, than which, he protested, nothing could yield him more
+pleasure; and promising, for his own part, to inform the priest of every
+thing which he thought would conduce to his satisfaction, relating to
+his own marriage, the baptism of Zorayda, the success of Don Lewis, and
+the return of Lucinda to her father’s house; the priest having assured
+him that he would obey his commands with the utmost punctuality, they
+embraced again, and repeated their mutual proffers of service. The
+innkeeper coming to the curate, put into his hand a bundle of papers
+which he said he had found in the lining of the portmanteau, along with
+the novel of the Impertinent Curiosity; and since the owner had not
+returned that way, he desired the priest to accept of them, for as he
+himself could not read, he had no occasion for such useless furniture:
+the curate thanked him for his present, which he immediately opened, and
+found written in the title-page, ‘Rinconete and Cortadilla, a
+novel[118];’ from hence he concluded, that since the Impertinent
+Curiosity was an entertaining story, this might also have some merit, as
+being probably a work of the same author; and on this supposition put it
+carefully up, intending to peruse it with the first convenient
+opportunity; then he and his friend the barber mounting their beasts,
+with their faces still disguised, that they might not be known by Don
+Quixote, jogged on behind the waggon. And the order of their march was
+this: first of all proceeded the cart, conducted by the driver, and
+guarded on each side by the troopers with their carbines, as we have
+already observed; then followed Sancho Panza upon his ass, leading
+Rozinante by the bridle; and in the rear of all came the curate and the
+barber, masked, and mounted on their trusty mules, with a grave and
+solemn air, marching no faster than the slow pace of the oxen would
+allow; while the knight sat within his cage, his hands fettered, and his
+legs outstretched, leaning against the bars, with such silence and
+resignation, that he looked more like a statue of stone than a man of
+flesh and blood. In this slow and silent manner had they travelled about
+a couple of leagues, when they arrived in a valley, which the waggoner
+thinking a convenient spot for his purpose, proposed to the curate that
+they should halt to refresh themselves, and let the oxen feed; but the
+barber was of opinion that they should proceed a little farther, to the
+other side of a rising ground, which appeared at a small distance, where
+he knew there was another valley better stored with grass, and much more
+agreeable than this in which the waggoner proposed to halt. The advice
+of Mr. Nicholas was approved, and they jogged on accordingly.
+
+About this time the curate chancing to look back, perceived behind them
+six or seven men well mounted, who soon overtook them, as they did not
+travel at the phlegmatick pace of the oxen, but like people who rode on
+ecclesiastick mules, and were desirous of spending the heat of the day
+at an inn that appeared within less than a league of the waggon. These
+expeditious strangers coming up with our slow travellers, saluted them
+courteously; and one among them, who was actually a canon of Toledo, and
+master of those who accompanied him, observing the regular procession of
+the waggon, troopers, Sancho, Rozinante, the curate, and barber, and in
+particular Don Quixote encaged and secured as he was, could not help
+asking why and whither they were conveying that man in such a manner?
+though he had already conjectured, from the badges of the troopers, that
+he must be some atrocious robber or delinquent, the punishment of whom
+belonged to the holy brotherhood. One of the troopers to whom the
+question was put, answered, ‘Signior, the gentleman himself will tell
+you the meaning of his travelling in this manner; for our parts we know
+nothing at all of the matter.’ The knight, overhearing what passed, said
+to the strangers, ‘Gentlemen, if you are skilled and conversant in
+matters of knight-errantry, I will communicate my misfortune; otherwise
+there is no reason why I should fatigue myself with the relation.’
+
+By this time the curate and barber, having perceived the travellers in
+conversation with the knight, came up in order to prevent their plot
+from being discovered, just as the canon had begun to answer Don Quixote
+in these words: ‘Truly, brother, I am better acquainted with books of
+chivalry than with the Summaries of Villalpando; so that if there be
+nothing else requisite, you may freely impart to me as much as you
+please.’—‘A God’s name, then,’ said Don Quixote, ‘if that be the case,
+‘you must know, Signior cavalier, that I am inchanted in this cage,
+through the envy and fraud of mischievous necromancers; for virtue is
+always more persecuted by the wicked than beloved by the righteous. A
+knight-errant I am, though none of those whose names Fame never enrolled
+in her eternal records; but of that number, whom maugre, and in despite
+of Envy herself, and all the magi whom Persia ever produced, with the
+brachmans of India, and gymnosophists of Ethiopia, will leave their
+names engraved on the temple of immortality, as examples and patterns to
+succeeding ages, by which all knights errant may see what steps they
+must follow, if they wish to attain the height and honourable summit of
+arms.’
+
+Here the curate interposing, said, ‘Signior Don Quixote speaks no more
+than the truth: he is inchanted in that waggon, not on account of his
+own crimes or misdemeanors, but through the malice of those who are
+disgusted at virtue, and offended at valour. This, Signior, is the
+Knight of the Rueful Countenance, whose name perhaps you have heard, and
+whose valiant exploits and mighty atchievements will be engraved on
+durable brass, and carved in eternal marble, in spite of the unwearied
+efforts of malice to cancel, and of envy to obscure them.’
+
+The canon hearing such a stile proceed not only from the prisoner’s
+mouth, but also from the lips of him who was free, had well-nigh crossed
+himself with astonishment, and could not conceive what had befallen him,
+while his whole company were seized with the same degree of amazement:
+but Sancho Panza, who was near enough to hear what passed, being willing
+to undeceive the strangers, said to them, ‘Gentlemen, whether what I am
+going to say be ill or well taken, I must tell you the case is this: my
+master Don Quixote is no more inchanted than the mother that bore me; he
+enjoys his right wits, eats, drinks, and does his occasions, like other
+men, and as he himself was wont to do before he was encaged; now, if
+this be the truth of the matter, how can any man persuade me that he is
+inchanted? since I have heard divers persons observe, that those who
+were inchanted neither eat, sleep, nor speak; whereas my master, if he
+is not hindered, will talk like thirty barristers.’ Then turning to the
+curate, he proceeded thus: ‘Ah, Mr. Curate, Mr. Curate! you think I
+don’t know you, and imagine that I cannot dive into the meaning of these
+new inchantments, but you are mistaken; I know you very well for all
+your masking, and can smell out your plots, disguise them as you will;
+in short, as the saying is, Just are virtue’s fears, when envy
+domineers, and Bounty will not stay, where niggards bear the sway. Damn
+the devil! if it had not been for your reverence, my master by this time
+would have been married to the Princess Micomicona, and I should have
+been an earl at least; for less I could not expect, either from the
+generosity of my Lord of the Rueful Countenance, or from the greatness
+of my own services: but now I see the truth of what is commonly said,
+That fortune turns faster than a mill-wheel; and that those who were
+yesterday at top, may find themselves at bottom to-day. It grieves me on
+account of my poor wife and children, who, instead of seeing their
+father come home in the post of governor or viceroy of some land or
+kingdom, as they had great reason to expect, will behold him returning
+in the station of a common groom: all this I have observed, Mr. Curate,
+for no other reason but to prevail upon your fathership to make a
+conscience of the ill-treatment my master receives at your hands, and
+consider that God may call you to account in the next world for this
+captivity of my Lord Don Quixote, and for all the succours and benefits
+that are prevented by his being thus confined.’
+
+‘Snuff me these candles!’ cried the barber, hearing the squire’s
+declaration; ‘why, sure, Sancho, you belong to your master’s fraternity;
+by the Lord! I find you ought to keep him company in his cage, and
+undergo the same sort of inchantment, so much are you infected with the
+humour of his chivalry: in an unhappy moment were you got with child by
+his promises, and in an evil hour did that island you harp so much upon
+take possession of your skull.’—‘I am not with child by any person
+whatever,’ answered Sancho, ‘nor will I suffer any king in Christendom
+to beget a child upon my body; for though I be a poor man, I’m an old
+Christian, and owe no man a farthing: if I long for an island, others
+long for things that are worse, every one being the son of his own
+works; the lowest mortal may come to be pope, much more governor of an
+island, especially as my master may gain more than he knows well what to
+do with. Mr. Barber, you had better think before you speak: there is
+something else to do than shaving of beards, and one Pedro may differ
+from another[119]; this I say because we know one another, and you must
+not think to palm false dice upon me: with regard to the inchantment of
+my master, God knows the truth, and there let it lie; for, as the saying
+is, The more you stir it, the more it will—you know what.’ The barber
+durst not make any reply, lest Sancho’s simplicity should discover what
+he and the curate were so desirous of concealing; and the priest being
+under the same apprehension, desired the canon to ride on with him a
+little before the waggon, promising to disclose the mystery of the
+encaged knight, with other particulars that would yield him some
+diversion: the canon put on accordingly with his servants, listening
+attentively to every thing the curate was pleased to communicate
+concerning the rank, employment, madness, and manners, of Don Quixote;
+for he briefly recounted the cause and beginning of his disorder, with
+the whole progress of his adventures, until he was secured in the cage
+by their contrivance, that they might carry him home to his own house,
+and endeavour to find some cure for his distemper.
+
+The canon and his servants were astonished anew at hearing the strange
+story of Don Quixote; which being finished, the Toledan replied, ‘Truly,
+Mr. Curate, I am firmly persuaded that those books of chivalry are very
+prejudicial in the commonwealth; for though I have been induced by a
+false taste and idle curiosity to read the beginning of almost every one
+that hath been printed, I never could prevail upon myself to read any
+one of them from the first to the last page; because, in my opinion,
+they are all of the same stamp, without any essential difference. And,
+indeed, that kind of composition seems to fall under that species of
+writing called the Milesian Fables, which are no other than extravagant
+tales calculated for mere amusement, without any tendency to
+instruction; on the contrary, the scope of your apologues is to convey
+instruction and delight together. Now, though the principal intention of
+those books is to delight and entertain the reader, I do not see how
+they can answer that end, being, as they are, stuffed with such
+improbable nonsense; for the pleasure that the soul conceives, is from
+the beauty and harmony of those things which are contemplated by the
+view, or suggested by the imagination; so that we can receive no
+pleasure from objects that are unnatural and deformed. And what beauty,
+symmetry, or proportion, can be observed in a book containing the
+history of a youth of seventeen, who with one back-stroke cuts through
+the middle a giant like a tower, with as much ease as if he had been
+made of paste; and in the description of a battle, after having observed
+that there are no less than a million of combatants on the side opposite
+to that which the hero of the piece espouses, we must, in despite of
+common-sense, believe, that such a knight obtained the victory by the
+single valour of his invincible arm. Then, how shall we account for the
+confidence with which some queen, empress, or orphan heiress, throws
+herself into the protection of an unknown knight-errant? What mind, if
+not wholly barbarous and uncultivated, can be pleased with an account of
+a huge tower full of knights sailing upon the sea like a ship before the
+wind; being overnight upon the coast of Lombardy, and next morning
+arrived in the dominions of Prester John in the Indies, or in some other
+country which Ptolemy never discovered, nor Marcus Polus ever saw? If to
+this observation it be answered, that the authors of those books do not
+pretend that the stories they contain are true, and therefore they are
+under no necessity of adhering to such niceties of composition; I reply,
+that fiction is always the better the nearer it resembles truth, and
+agreeable in proportion to the probability it bears, and the doubtful
+credit which it inspires. Wherefore, all such fables ought to be suited
+to the understanding of those who read them, and written so as that by
+softening impossibilities, smoothing what is rough, and keeping the mind
+in suspense, they may surprize, agreeably perplex, and entertain,
+creating equal admiration and delight; and these never can be excited by
+authors who forsake probability and imitation, in which the perfection
+of writing consists. I have never as yet seen in any book of chivalry an
+entire body of a fable, with all its members so proportioned, as that
+the middle corresponds with the beginning, and the end is suitable to
+both; on the contrary, one would think the author’s intention is
+commonly to form a chimera or monster, instead of a figure well
+proportioned in all its parts. Besides, their stile is usually harsh,
+their atchievements incredible, their amours lascivious, their courtesy
+impertinent, their battles tedious, their dialogue insipid, their
+voyages extravagant, and, in short, the whole void of all ingenuity of
+invention; so that they deserve to be banished as useless members from
+every Christian commonwealth.’
+
+The curate, who had listened with great attention, hearing the canon
+talk so sensibly, looked upon him as a man of excellent understanding,
+and assented to every thing he said; observing, that, in consequence of
+his being of the same opinion, and of the grudge he bore to such books
+of chivalry, he had burned a great number of those that belonged to Don
+Quixote. He then gave him a detail of the scrutiny which had been made,
+distinguishing such as he spared from those that he condemned to the
+flames.
+
+The traveller laughed heartily at this account of such an extraordinary
+trial, saying, that notwithstanding what he had advanced to the
+disadvantage of such books, there was one thing in them which he could
+not but approve; namely, the subject they presented for a good genius to
+display itself, opening a large and ample field in which the pen might
+at leisure expatiate in the description of shipwrecks, tempests,
+battles, and encounters; painting a valiant general with all his
+necessary accomplishments, sage, and penetrating into the enemy’s
+designs, eloquent and effectual either in persuading or dissuading his
+soldiers, ripe in council, prompt in execution, and equally brave in
+standing or in giving an assault. One while recounting a piteous
+tragical story, at another time describing a joyful and unexpected
+event; here, a most beautiful lady, endued with virtue, discretion, and
+reserve; there, a Christian knight, possessed of courtesy and valour; in
+the third place, an outrageous boasting barbarian; and in a fourth, a
+polite, considerate, gallant prince; not forgetting to describe the
+faith and loyalty of vassals, together with the grandeur and generosity
+of great men. The author may also shew himself an astrologer,
+geographer, musician, and well skilled in state-affairs; nay, if he be
+so minded, he will sometimes have an opportunity of manifesting his
+skill in necromancy and magick; he may represent the cunning of Ulysses,
+the piety of Æneas, the valour of Achilles, the misfortunes of Hector,
+the perfidy of Sinon, the friendship of Euryalus, the liberality of
+Alexander, the ability of Cæsar, the clemency and candour of Trajan, the
+fidelity of Zopyrus, the wisdom of Cato, and finally, all those
+qualifications which constitute the perfection of an illustrious hero;
+sometimes uniting them in one, sometimes dividing them into several
+characters: and the whole being expressed in an agreeable stile and
+ingenious invention, that borders as near as possible upon the truth,
+will doubtless produce a web of such various and beautiful texture, as
+when finished, to display that perfection which will attain the chief
+end and scope of such writings; which, as I have already observed, is to
+convey instruction mingled with delight. Besides, the unlimited
+competition of such books gives the author opportunities of shewing his
+talents in epicks, lyricks, tragedy, and comedy, and all the different
+branches of the delicious and agreeable arts of poetry and rhetorick;
+for epicks may be written in prose as well as verse.
+
+Footnote 116:
+
+ In the original, _mi padre!_ my father! which I have changed for an
+ exclamation more frequently used in our language.
+
+Footnote 117:
+
+ In the text, the knight is guilty of a palpable solecism, in desiring
+ Sancho to touch and feel that which he himself expressly observes was
+ subject neither to touch or feeling.
+
+Footnote 118:
+
+ Written by Cervantes himself.
+
+Footnote 119:
+
+ Equivalent to our saying, ‘Every Jack is not a good fellow.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XXI.
+ IN WHICH THE CANON PROSECUTES THE SUBJECT OF KNIGHT-ERRANTRY,
+ AND MAKES OTHER OBSERVATIONS WORTHY OF HIS GENIUS.
+
+
+‘Mr. Canon,’ said the curate, ‘what you have observed, is extremely
+just, and therefore those authors deserve the greater reprehension, who
+have composed such books, without the least regard to good sense or the
+rules of art, by which they might have conducted their plans, and
+rendered themselves as famous in prose as the two princes of Greek and
+Latin poetry are now in verse.’—‘I myself,’ replied the canon, ‘have
+been tempted to write a book of chivalry, observing all the maxims and
+precautions I have now laid down; nay, to tell you the truth, no less
+than a hundred sheets of it are already written; and, in order to try if
+my own opinion of it was well founded, I have communicated my
+performance to a great many people who are passionately fond of that
+kind of reading; not only men of learning and taste, but also ignorant
+persons, who chiefly delight in extravagant adventures; and I have been
+favoured with the agreeable approbation of them all: nevertheless, I
+have not proceeded on the work; because, I not only thought it foreign
+to my profession, but likewise concluded, that the world abounds much
+more with fools than people of sense; and though an author had better be
+applauded by the few that are wise, than laughed at by the many that are
+foolish, I was unwilling to expose myself to the uninformed judgment of
+the arrogant vulgar, whose province it principally is to read books of
+this kind. But what contributed most to my laying aside the pen, and
+indeed all thoughts of bringing the work to a conclusion, was a
+reflection I made upon the comedies of the present age. “If,” said I to
+myself, “our modern plays, not only those which are formed upon fiction,
+but likewise such as are founded on the truth of history, are all, or
+for the greatest part, universally known to be monstrous productions,
+without either head or tail, and yet received with pleasure by the
+multitude, who approve and esteem them as excellent performances, though
+they are far from deserving that title; and if the authors who compose,
+and the actors who represent them, affirm, that this and no other method
+is to be practised, because the multitude must be pleased; that those
+which bear the marks of contrivance, and produce a fable digested
+according to the rules of art, serve only for entertainment to four or
+five people of taste, who discern the beauties of the plan, which
+utterly escape all the rest of the audience; and that it is better for
+them to gain a comfortable livelihood by the many, than starve upon
+reputation with the few.”—“At this rate,” said I, “if I should finish my
+book, after having scorched every hair in my whiskers, in poring over
+it, to preserve those rules and precepts already mentioned, I might fare
+at last, like the sagacious botcher, who sewed for nothing, and found
+his customers in thread[120].” I have sometimes endeavoured to persuade
+the players, that they were mistaken in their maxims; and that they
+would bring more company to their house, and acquire much more
+reputation, by representing regular comedies, than such absurd
+performances; but I always found them so obstinately bigotted to their
+own fancies, that no evidence or demonstration could alter their opinion
+in the least. I remember, I once said to one of these pragmatick
+fellows, “Don’t you recollect, that a few years ago, three tragedies
+were acted, composed by a celebrated poet of this kingdom; and that they
+raised admiration, pleasure, and surprize, in all who saw them
+exhibited, gentle as well as simple, ignorant as well as learned, and
+brought more money to the actors than thirty of the best that have since
+appeared?”—“Doubtless,” answered the player, “you mean Isabella,
+Phillis, and Alexandria.”—“The very same,” said I; “and pray take
+notice, whether or not they are composed according to rule, or failed to
+please every body, because they were regular? Wherefore, the fault does
+not lie in the multitude’s demanding absurdities, but in those who can
+represent nothing else; for there is nothing absurd in the play of
+Ingratitude Revenged, nor in Numantia, the Merchant Lover, the
+Favourable Female Foe, nor in some others which are composed by poets of
+genius, to their own reputation, and the advantage of those who
+represented them.” I made use of many more arguments, by which he seemed
+to be confuted, though not so much satisfied or convinced, as to retract
+his erroneous opinions.’
+
+‘Mr. Canon,’ said the curate, interrupting him in this place, ‘the
+subject you have touched upon awakes in me an old grudge I have bore to
+our modern plays, even equal to that I entertain against books of
+chivalry. Comedy, according to Tully, ought to be the mirrour of life,
+the exemplar of manners, and picture of truth; whereas, those that are
+represented in this age, are mirrours of absurdity, exemplars of folly,
+and pictures of lewdness; for sure nothing can be more absurd in a
+dramatick performance, than to see the person, who in the first scene of
+the first act, was produced a child in swaddling-cloaths, appear a full
+grown man with a beard, in the second; or to represent an old man active
+and valiant, a young soldier cowardly, a footman eloquent, a page a
+counsellor, a king a porter, and a princess a scullion. Then what shall
+we say concerning their management of the time and place, in which the
+actions have or may be supposed to have happened? I have seen a comedy,
+the first act of which was laid in Europe, the second in Asia, and the
+third was finished in Africa; nay, had there been a fourth, the scene
+would have shifted to America; so that the fable would have travelled
+through all the four divisions of the globe. If imitation be the chief
+aim of comedy, how can any ordinary understanding be satisfied with
+seeing an action that passed in the time of King Pepin and Charlemagne,
+ascribed to the Emperor Heraclius, who being the principal personage, is
+represented, like Godfrey of Bulloign, carrying the cross into
+Jerusalem, and making himself master of the holy sepulchre; an infinite
+number of years having passed between the one and the other. Or, when a
+comedy is founded upon fiction, to see scraps of real history
+introduced, and facts misrepresented both with regard to persons and
+times; not with any ingenuity of contrivance, but with the most manifest
+and inexcusable errors and stupidity; and what is worst of all, there is
+a set of ignorant pretenders, who call this the perfection of writing;
+and that every attempt to succeed by a contrary method is no other than
+a wild-goose chace[121]. Again, if we consider those plays that are
+written on divine subjects, how many false miracles do they contain? how
+many apocryphal events misunderstood by the author, who frequently
+confounds the operations of one saint with those of another? Nay, in
+prophane subjects, they have the assurance to work miracles, for no
+other respect or consideration, but because they think such a miracle
+will make a very decent appearance in such a place; and, as they term
+it, attract the admiration of the vulgar, and bring them in crowds to
+the play: but all this redounds to the prejudice of truth, the contempt
+of history, and scandal of our Spanish wits; so that the authors of
+other nations, who punctually observe the unities of the drama, conclude
+that we are barbarous and ignorant, from our absurd and preposterous
+productions. Neither is it a sufficient excuse to say, that the intent
+of all well-governed commonwealths, in permitting publick plays to be
+acted, is to entertain the common people with some honest recreation, in
+order to divert those bad humours which idleness usually engenders; and
+that, since this end is answered by any play whatever, either good or
+bad, there is no occasion to cramp and limit the authors or actors to
+the just laws of composition; the purpose of the legislature being, as I
+have said, accomplished without any such restriction. To this suggestion
+I answer, that the same end, without any sort of comparison, will be
+much better answered by good than bad comedies; for, after having seen
+an artful and well-digested play represented, the hearer will go away,
+delighted with the comic parts, instructed by the serious, and agreeably
+surprized with the incidents; collecting information from the dialogue,
+precaution from the deceits of the fable, experience from the examples
+exhibited, affection for virtue, and indignation for vice. All these
+sensations, I say, will a good comedy excite in the spectator’s mind,
+let it be never so stupid and uncultivated; for of all impossibilities,
+it is the most impossible, that a comedy, thus perfect in all its parts,
+should not yield more entertainment, satisfaction, and delight, than one
+that is defective in each particular, as the greatest part of our modern
+pieces are. Neither is this want of correctness always to be laid to the
+author’s charge; for there are some poets among us who are perfectly
+well acquainted with the rules of writing, and could easily avoid any
+such errors of composition; but as their pieces are made for sale, they
+say, and it is very true, that the players would not purchase them, if
+they were of any other stamp; so that the author is fain to accommodate
+himself to the demand of the actor who pays him for his work. The truth
+of this observation evidently appears in a great number of comedies
+which have been composed by a most happy genius of these kingdoms[122],
+with so much wit, pleasantry, elegance of versification, genteel
+dialogue, sententious gravity, and finally, with such elocution and
+sublimity of stile, that the whole world resounds with his fame; yet in
+suiting himself to the false taste of the actors, he hath not been able
+to bring them all to the requisite point of perfection. Others again are
+so inconsiderate in their productions, that after representation, the
+players have been frequently obliged to fly and abscond for fear of
+chastisement, on account of having exhibited something to the prejudice
+of royal heads, or dishonour of noble families; now all these
+inconveniences, with many more that I do not chuse to mention, might be
+prevented, if there was at court some person of taste and learning,
+appointed to examine every dramatick performance before its appearance
+on the stage; and this precaution should affect not only the plays
+composed in Madrid, but all pieces whatever to be represented within the
+monarchy of Spain; for, without the approbation of this licencer, signed
+and sealed, no magistrate should allow any production to be acted within
+the bounds of his jurisdiction. In consequence of this expedient the
+actors would take care to submit every play to the censure of the
+examiner, that they might afterwards represent them with safety; and the
+authors would employ more caution and study in their compositions,
+knowing that they must pass the rigorous examination of an intelligent
+judge; in this manner, good comedies would be produced, and the aim of
+such writings happily accomplished, to the entertainment of the people,
+and the credit of Spanish wits; while the actors would represent them
+with security and advantage, and the state be exempted from the trouble
+of chastising such delinquents. And if the same licencer, or any other
+person, were invested with the charge of examining books of chivalry,
+before they see the light, some performances of that sort would
+certainly appear in all the perfection you have described, enriching our
+language with the delightful and precious treasure of eloquence; while
+the old romances would be entirely eclipsed by the light of the new,
+that would furnish rational amusement, not only for the idle, but also
+for those who are most industrious; seeing it is impossible for the bow
+to continue always bent, or that feeble nature can subsist without some
+innocent recreation.’
+
+Thus far had the canon and curate proceeded in their conversation, when
+the barber coming up to them, said to his townsman, ‘Mr. Licentiate,
+this is the place in which I proposed to halt, that the oxen might have
+fresh pasture in abundance.’ The curate approved of the hint, and
+communicated their intention to the canon, who resolved to stay with
+them, being invited by the situation of a delicious valley that
+presented itself to his view; that he might therefore enjoy the
+agreeable spot, together with the conversation of the curate, for whom
+he had already conceived an affection, and be more particularly informed
+of Don Quixote’s exploits, he ordered his domesticks to proceed to an
+inn, which was not far off, and bring from thence victuals sufficient
+for the whole company; for he was resolved to spend the afternoon where
+he was. One of the servants told him that the sumpter-mule, which by
+that time had reached the inn, carried provision enough, and that they
+should want nothing but barley for the beasts. ‘If that be the case,’
+said the canon, ‘carry the rest to the inn, and bring the sumpter-mule
+hither.’
+
+Meanwhile Sancho perceiving that he might now speak to his master,
+without being overheard by the curate and barber, of whom he was
+suspicious, approached the cage, and thus addressed himself to the
+knight: ‘Truly, Sir, in order to disburthen my conscience, I must tell
+you something concerning this same inchantment. These people, with
+masks on their faces, are no other than the curate and barber of our
+town, who, I verily believe, have contrived to carry you off in this
+manner, out of pure envy and spite, because your worship has got the
+heels of them in your famous atchievements: now, this being supposed,
+it follows as plain as the nose upon my face, that you are not
+inchanted, but rather fooled and bamboozled. As a proof of which, I
+desire to ask you one question, which if you answer, as I do believe
+you will, your worship may clap your ten fingers on the trick, and
+perceive that you are not inchanted, but that your whole brain is
+turned topsy-turvy.’—‘Ask what you will, son Sancho,’ replied Don
+Quixote, ‘I will freely answer, and satisfy your doubts to the best of
+my power; with regard to your saying, that those who attend us are our
+friends and townsmen, the curate and barber, so indeed they may appear
+to your eye; but that they are really and effectually so, you must by
+no means believe: on the contrary, you are to conclude, that if they
+resemble our friends, the inchanters, who can assume what form they
+please, have taken that appearance and resemblance, to mislead your
+credit, and bewilder your imagination in such a labyrinth of
+perplexity, that even the clue of Theseus would not extricate your
+thoughts. Besides, they may have done it with a view of confounding my
+judgment, that I might not be able to guess from what quarter my
+misfortune proceeds; for, if on the one hand you affirm that I am
+attended by the barber and curate of our town; and on the other hand,
+I find myself encaged; though I am sensible that nothing but
+supernatural force could suffice to confine me thus, what would you
+have me say or think, but that the manner of my inchantment exceeds
+every thing I have read in all the histories that treat of inchanted
+knights? Wherefore set your heart at rest, and take it for granted,
+that these are as far from being the persons you have mentioned, as I
+am from being a Turk. With respect to thy desire of asking me
+questions, I repeat my promise of answering, even if thy interrogation
+should last till to-morrow morning.’—‘God’s blessed mother!’ cried the
+squire, with great vociferation, ‘is it possible that your worship can
+be so thick-skulled and brainless, as not to perceive the truth of
+what I alledge, and see that this imprisonment and misfortune is more
+owing to malice than inchantment? But seeing it is so, I will venture
+to prove, beyond all contradiction, that you are no more inchanted
+than my ass. Tell me, therefore, as God shall deliver you from this
+mischance, and as you hope to see yourself in the arms of my Lady
+Dulcinea, when you least expect any such good luck—’ ‘Truce with thy
+conjuration,’ said the knight, ‘and ask what thou wilt, I have already
+promised to answer with the utmost punctuality.’—‘That is my request,’
+answered Sancho, ‘and what I want to know is, that your worship will
+tell me, without eking or curtailing God’s precious truth, but in
+honest simplicity of heart as it ought to be, and always is told those
+who, like your worship, profess the occupation of arms, under the
+title of knight-errants—’ ‘I tell thee,’ cried the knight,
+interrupting him, ‘I will not in the least prevaricate. Dispatch then,
+Sancho, for truly I am quite tired with so many salvos, solicitations,
+and preambles.’—‘I make so bold,’ replied the squire, ‘because I am
+well aware of my master’s goodness and sincerity, which being as it
+were to the purpose, I ask (with reverence be it spoken) whether or
+not, since you have been confined, and as you suppose inchanted in
+this cage, your worship hath felt any motion or desire to undam either
+way, as the saying is?’—‘I do not know what you mean by undamming,’
+answered Don Quixote; ‘you must be more explicit, Sancho, if you
+expect an answer to the purpose.’—‘Is it possible,’ said the squire,
+‘that your worship should be ignorant of the meaning of the word
+undamming, which is the first thing the boys learn at school? Well,
+then, you must know, I wanted to ask if you never had any inclination
+to do that which nobody else can do for you?’—‘Now I understand thee,
+Sancho,’ said the knight; ‘verily I have had divers calls of that
+nature, one of which is at present very importunate: pray fall upon
+some method to disembarrass me, for I believe all is not so sweet and
+clean as it ought to be.’
+
+Footnote 120:
+
+ A Spanish proverb, applicable to a great many modern projectors and
+ reformers.
+
+Footnote 121:
+
+ _Buscar gullirias_, signifies to seek dainties.
+
+Footnote 122:
+
+ Lopez de Vega Carpio.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XXII.
+ THE SAGE CONVERSATION THAT PASSED BETWEEN SANCHO PANZA
+ AND HIS MASTER DON QUIXOTE.
+
+
+‘Ha!’ cried Sancho, ‘have I caught you at last? This is what I wanted to
+know with all my heart and soul: come on, Sir, there is no denying of
+what is commonly said, when any person is in the dumps, I know not what
+is the matter with such an one; he neither eats, drinks, nor sleeps, nor
+answers to the purpose, when he is spoke to; sure the man must be
+enchanted: from whence we are to conclude, that those who are inchanted
+neither eat, drink, sleep, nor do their natural occasions, as I have
+observed. But this is not the case with such as are disturbed with the
+inclination that your worship at present feels, drinking when they can
+get liquor, eating when they can lay hold on food, and giving plain
+answers to every question that is asked.’—‘Thou art in the right,’
+replied Don Quixote; ‘but I have already told thee, that there are
+different kinds of inchantment; and time may have so entirely altered
+the fashion, that those who are under the power of inchantment in this
+age, may, like me, retain the use of their faculties, though it was
+quite otherwise of old; so that there is no arguing or drawing
+consequences against the different practice of different times. I am
+sensible and certain of my being inchanted, and this is sufficient for
+the quiet of my conscience, which would give me great uneasiness if I
+had the least doubt about my fate, and allowed myself to be in this cage
+like an idle coward, deceitfully withholding my succour from a great
+number of the needy and oppressed, who at this very hour must be in the
+most absolute and extreme necessity, from the want of my aid and
+protection.’—‘Nevertheless,’ answered the squire, ‘for your more
+abundant satisfaction, your worship, methinks, might try to escape from
+this prison; for my own part, I’ll be bound not only to give my
+assistance, but even to work your deliverance, and then you may
+endeavour to remount your trusty Rozinante, who trudges along as
+melancholy and sad as if he was inchanted also. This being performed,
+let us try our fate once more in quest of adventures; and if they do not
+turn out to our expectation, it will be time enough to return to the
+cage, in which I promise, on the faith of a true and loyal squire, to
+shut myself up with your worship, if perchance, through your ill fortune
+or my folly, this that I mention should not succeed.’—‘I am content to
+follow thy counsel, brother Sancho,’ replied the knight; ‘and whenever
+thou shalt perceive a proper conjuncture for effecting my deliverance, I
+will implicitly obey thee in every thing, but thou wilt soon find
+thyself deceived in thy opinion of my mishap.’
+
+This conversation between the knight-errant and the erring squire,
+lasted until they arrived at the place in which the curate, canon, and
+barber, who had already alighted, waited for them. The waggoner
+immediately unyoking his oxen, turned them loose in that verdant and
+delicious spot, the coolness of which was extremely inviting, not only
+to inchanted people like Don Quixote, but also to persons of
+intelligence and discretion like his squire, who besought the curate to
+let his master come out of the cage for a few minutes; because, without
+such permission, the prison would not be quite so clean as the decency
+of such a knight required. The curate, understanding what he meant, told
+him that he would willingly grant his request, were he not under some
+apprehension that his master, finding himself at liberty, would play one
+of his old pranks, and be gone where men should never see his face
+again. ‘I will be bound for his good behaviour,’ answered Sancho; ‘and I
+also,’ said the canon, ‘especially if he will promise, on the word of a
+knight, not to stir from our presence, until he shall have obtained our
+consent.’
+
+‘I will,’ cried the knight (who overheard all that passed;) ‘the more
+so, as one, who, like me, is inchanted, cannot be at liberty to make use
+of his own person; for the inchanter can so utterly deprive him of all
+motion, that he shall not be able to stir from the place for three whole
+ages; and if he should make his escape, would whisk him back through the
+air in a twinkling.’ This being the case, he said they might very safely
+uncage him, especially as such indulgence would redound to the benefit
+of the whole company; for he protested that if they did not comply with
+his present necessities, he should be obliged to incommode their sense
+of smelling, unless they removed to a greater distance from the place of
+his confinement.
+
+The canon, confiding in his word and honour, took him by the hands, tied
+as they were, and helped him to descend from his cage: then the knight,
+being infinitely rejoiced at his momentary deliverance, stretched every
+joint in his body, and going up to Rozinante, gave him a slap on the
+buttocks, saying, ‘I still hope in God and his blessed mother, thou
+flower and mirrour of steeds! that in a short time we shall both obtain
+our heart’s desire; thou prancing under the agreeable pressure of thy
+lord, and I mounted upon thy trusty back, exercising the employment for
+which Heaven sent me into the world.’ Having pronounced this apostrophe,
+he retired with Sancho to a remote place, from whence he returned much
+eased and comforted, and more desirous than ever of executing the
+project of his squire. The canon could not help gazing upon him, being
+struck with admiration at the strange unaccountable symptoms of his
+disorder; for in all his conversation and replies, he gave evident
+proofs of an excellent understanding, and never lost himself[123] except
+on the subject of chivalry, as we have formerly observed: he was
+therefore touched with compassion for his infirmity, and when the whole
+company were seated on the grass, waiting for the return of the
+sumpter-mule, addressed himself to the knight in this manner:
+
+‘Is it possible, good Sir, that the idle and unlucky reading of books of
+chivalry can have so far impaired your judgment, as that you should now
+believe yourself inchanted, and give credit to other illusions of the
+same kind, which are as far from being true as truth is distant from
+falshood? Is it possible that the human understanding can suppose that
+ever this world produced that infinite number of Amadis’s, with the
+whole crowd of famous knights, so many emperors of Trebisond,
+Fleximarte’s of Hyrcania, palfreys, damsels, serpents, dragons, and
+giants; so many incredible adventures, inchantments of different kinds,
+battles, dreadful encounters, magnificence of apparel, enamoured
+princesses, squires created earls, witty dwarfs, billets, amorous
+expressions, valiant ladies, and finally, such extravagant events as are
+contained in books of knight-errantry? For my own part, when I read a
+performance of that sort, without reflecting that it is a legend of
+vanity and lyes, my imagination is a little amused; but as soon as I
+begin to consider it in the right point of view, I dash the volume
+against the wall, and would even commit it to the flames, (if I should
+chance to be near a fire) as a criminal richly deserving such punishment
+on account of its falshood and imposture, so contrary to nature, and
+bewildered from the track of common-sense, and as an inventor of new
+sects and preposterous ways of life, misleading and inducing the
+ignorant vulgar to believe the absurdities which it contains; nay, so
+presumptuous are such productions, as to disturb the minds of gentlemen
+of birth and education, as may be too plainly perceived by their effects
+upon you, Signior, whom they have reduced to such a pass as to make it
+necessary that you should be cooped up in a cage, and transported from
+place to place on a waggon, like a lion or tyger exhibited as a shew for
+money. Go to, Signior Don Quixote! have pity upon yourself, return into
+the bosom of discretion, and put those happy talents which Heaven hath
+been pleased to bestow upon you to a better use, employing your genius
+in other studies, which may redound to the increase of your honour, as
+well as to the good of your soul; or, if swayed by your natural
+inclination, you are still desirous of reading the histories of exploits
+and atchievements, you may have recourse to the book of Judges in the
+Holy Scripture, and there you will find real miracles of might, and
+actions equally valiant and true, Portugal produced a Viriatus, Rome a
+Cæsar, Carthage an Hannibal, Greece an Alexander, Castile a count Fernan
+Gonçales, Valencia a Cid, Andalousia a Gonzalo Fernandez, Estremadura a
+Diego Garcia de Paredes, Xerez a Garcia Perez de Vargas, Toledo a
+Garcilasso, Seville a Don Manuel de Leon; the history of their valiant
+exploits will afford entertainment, instruction, surprize, and delight,
+to readers of the most sublime conception. Such study as this would be
+worthy of the good sense of Signior Don Quixote, who would thus become
+learned in history, enamoured of virtue, improved in worth, bettered in
+morals, brave without rashness, cautious without cowardice; while the
+whole would redound to the honour of God, his own particular emolument,
+and the renown of La Mancha, from whence I understand his family and
+origin is derived.’
+
+Don Quixote listened with infinite attention to his harangue; and even
+after he perceived it was finished, looked stedfastly at the canon for
+some time, before he answered in these words: ‘Signior Hidalgo, if I am
+not mistaken, the scope of your discourse was to convince me that there
+never were knights-errant in this world; that all the books of chivalry
+are false, deceitful, unprofitable, nay mischievous, in a commonwealth;
+that I have been much to blame in reading, more so in believing, and
+most of all in imitating, the characters they describe, by following the
+most painful profession of knight-errantry; and, lastly, you deny that
+ever there was an Amadis, either of Gaul or Greece, or that any one of
+that vast number of knights recorded in those writings had any real
+existence.’—‘You have exactly summed up my allegations,’ said the canon.
+‘You were likewise pleased to add,’ resumed the knight, ‘that such books
+had done me infinite prejudice, impaired my judgment, and reduced me to
+the necessity of being confined in a cage; and that I would do well to
+amend and alter my course of studies, and to use performances which
+contain more truth, instruction, and delight.’—‘That,’ said the canon,
+‘was my precise meaning.’—‘Why, then,’ cried Don Quixote, ‘in my opinion
+the person impaired in his judgment, and inchanted, is no other than
+your worship, who have presumed to utter such blasphemies against an
+order so well received in the world, and established as truth, that he
+who like you denies it deserves the same punishment you inflicted upon
+those books that gave you disgust; for, to say that there never was such
+a person as Amadis, or any other of those adventurous knights with whom
+history abounds, is like an endeavour to persuade people that frost is
+not cold, that the sun yields no light, and the earth no sustenance.
+Will any earthly eloquence make a man believe, that the story of the
+infanta Floripes, and Guy of Burgundy, is false; or that of Fierabras,
+with the bridge of Mantible, which happened in the time of Charlemagne,
+and I vow to God is as true as that the sun shines at noon-day? If this
+be a lye, you may also affirm that there never was such an event as the
+Trojan war, nor such persons as Hector and Achilles, or the Twelve Peers
+of France, or Arthur King of England, who to this day survives in the
+likeness of a raven, and is every moment expected to reascend his
+throne. People may as well venture to say, that the history of Guarino
+Mesquino, and the suit of St. Grial, are pure fiction; and look upon the
+amours of Don Tristan and Queen Iseo, with those of Ginebra and
+Lancelot, as altogether apocryphal; though there are people who almost
+remember to have seen the Duenna Quintanona, who was the best
+wine-skinker in Great Britain: this is so true, that I myself have heard
+my grandmother by the father’s side often say, when she happened to see
+a Duenna with a reverend biggen[124], “Grandson, there is a person very
+like the Duenna Quintanona.” From whence I conclude, that she must
+either have known her personally, or at least seen some picture of that
+venerable matron. Then, who can deny the history of Peter of Provence
+and the fair Magalona, since, to this day, may be seen in the royal
+armoury the very peg that turned the wooden horse upon which the valiant
+Peter travelled through the air; by the same token, that it is something
+larger than the pole of a coach, and stands near the saddle of Babieca.
+Nay, at Roncevalles you may see Orlando’s horn, as big as a weaver’s
+beam. From all which circumstances we may justly infer, that the Twelve
+Peers, the Peters, the Cids, with all those who were called
+knights-errant, actually existed, according to the records of their
+fame; otherwise they may as well deny that the valiant Portuguese, Juan
+de Merlo, was a knight-errant; though it is well known, that he went to
+Burgundy and fought in the city of Ras, with the famous lord of Charne,
+called Monseigneur Pierre, and afterwards in the city of Basil, with
+Monseigneur Henrique de Remestan; gaining the victory in each of these
+combats, with abundance of honourable fame. Neither, I suppose, will
+they credit the defiance and adventures that were also atchieved in
+Burgundy, by those valiant Spaniards, Pedro Barba and Guttierre Quixada,
+(from whom I am lineally descended on the father’s side) who conquered
+the sons of the Count de St. Paul: nay, let them likewise refuse to own
+that Don Fernando de Guevara went in quest of adventures into Germany,
+where he fought with Messire George, a knight of the houshold to the
+Duke of Austria; and say that the justs and tournaments at Suero de
+Quinones, and the pass, were mere illusion, as well as the enterprizes
+of Monseigneur Lewis de Falses, against Don Gonçalo de Guzman, a
+Castilian knight, together with many other exploits performed by
+Christian warriors belonging to these and other foreign realms, so
+authentick and true, that (I repeat my asseveration) he who denies them
+is void of all reason and common sense.’
+
+The canon was struck with admiration, when he heard Don Quixote utter
+such a medley of fiction and truth; and perceiving that he was
+intimately acquainted with every circumstance regarding and concerning
+the atchievements of knight-errantry, answered him in these words:
+‘Signior Don Quixote, I cannot deny but what you have said is partly
+true, particularly that which regards the Spanish knights; I grant also
+that there was an order called the Twelve Peers of France, but cannot
+believe that they performed all those exploits recounted by archbishop
+Turpin; for the truth is, they were a set of knights chosen by the kings
+of France, under the title of the Twelve Peers, because they were all
+equal in point of virtue, rank, and valour; at least, if they were not,
+they ought to have been possessed of this parity of qualifications; for
+it was an association resembling the modern orders of St. Jago and
+Calatrava, which suppose, that every member is valiant, virtuous, and
+noble; and as we now say a knight of St. Juan or Alcantara, in those
+days they said a knight of the Twelve Peers; because those who professed
+that military order were equal in all respects, and twelve in number;
+that there were such persons as the Cid and Bernardo del Carpio, I make
+no question; but whether or not they performed all those exploits which
+are ascribed to them, is, I believe, extremely doubtful; with respect to
+the peg of Count Peter, which you say stands by the saddle of Babieca in
+the royal armoury, to my shame be it spoken, I am either so ignorant or
+short-sighted, that although I have seen the saddle, I could never
+observe the peg, large as you have been pleased to describe it.’—‘But
+there it certainly is,’ replied the knight; ‘and what makes it the more
+remarkable, it is said to be kept in a case of calves leather, that it
+may not rust.’—‘It may be so,’ said the canon; ‘but, by my holy orders!
+I do not remember to have seen any such thing; yet, granting it to be in
+that place, I am not therefore bound to believe the stories that are
+recounted of so many Amadis’s, and such a rabble of knights; nor is it
+reasonable, that a person of honour, like you, endowed with so many
+happy talents, should give credit to such extravagant rhodomontades as
+are related in the lying legends of knight-errantry.’
+
+Footnote 123:
+
+ Literally, ‘Never lost the stirrup.’
+
+Footnote 124:
+
+ _Toca_, which is the original word, signifies a woman’s coif, veil, or
+ handkerchief.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XXIII.
+ OF THE SAGE CONTEST BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE
+ AND THE CANON—WITH OTHER EVENTS.
+
+
+‘A good jest, truly,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘that books printed with the
+licence of kings, and approbation of those who are appointed to examine
+them, read with universal delight, celebrated by great and small, rich
+and poor, knights and plebeians, the learned and illiterate; finally, by
+persons of all ranks and degrees whatever; should contain nothing but
+lyes; notwithstanding the appearance of truth which they maintain, in
+mentioning the father, mother, country, relations, condition,
+birth-place; and in giving an exact journal of the exploits peculiar to
+every individual knight; cease, therefore, good Sir, to vent such
+blasphemy, and believe that in this particular, I advise you to act
+according to the dictates of good sense: read them again, and you will
+see what pleasure you will reap for your pains; for what can be more
+entertaining than to see, as it were, before our eyes, a vast lake of
+boiling pitch, through which an infinite number of serpents, snakes, and
+alligators, with many other kinds of fierce and terrible creatures, are
+continually winding and writhing along; then to hear a most dismal voice
+that seems to issue from the middle of this pitchy pool, pronounce, “O
+knight, whosoever thou art, that now standest gazing at the dreadful
+lake, if thou wouldst enjoy the bliss that is concealed beneath these
+sable waves, display the valour of thy dauntless breast, and dart
+thyself amidst these black and burning billows; otherwise, thou art not
+worthy to behold the mighty wonders deposited and contained within the
+seven castles of the seven nymphs, that dwell below this sullen flood.”
+Scarce hath the sound of this dismal voice ceased to vibrate on his ear,
+when the knight, without the least hesitation, or reflecting upon the
+danger he incurs, nay, without putting off his heavy armour, but
+recommending himself to God and his mistress, plunges at once into the
+burning lake; and when he neither cares nor knows what will be his fate,
+finds himself in the midst of a delightful plain, by which the Elysian
+fields are infinitely excelled: there the heaven seems more transparent,
+and the sun shines with new lustre; the eye is entertained with an
+agreeable forest of tall and leafy trees, whose verdure delights the
+view; while the ear is regaled with the sweet and artless notes of an
+infinite number of little painted warblers that hop from bough to bough;
+here he perceives a brook, whose refreshing waters, clear as liquid
+chrystal, run murmuring on the yellow sand, and glistening pebbles, that
+emulate the purest pearls, and heaps of sifted gold.
+
+‘In one place springs an artificial fountain adorned with variegated
+jasper and polished marble; in another rises a rustick grotto, in which
+the small shells of the mussel, and the white and yellow twisted domes
+of the snail, placed in beauteous disorder, and mixed with bits of
+shining chrystal and counterfeit emeralds, compose such an agreeable
+variety, that nature seems to be excelled by imitative art. In a third
+place, all of a sudden, appears a strong castle or magnificent palace,
+the walls of massy gold, the battlements of diamond, the gates of
+hyacinth, and, finally, the workmanship so admirable, as infinitely to
+excel the materials, which are no less than adamant, carbuncles, rubies,
+pearls, emeralds, and gold. Nay, after having thus feasted his eyes,
+there still remains for him to see a fair bevy of damsels coming out at
+the castle gate, dressed in such gay and splendid attire, that were I to
+describe it minutely, as it is represented in the history, I should
+never have done. Then she who appears the principal, takes by the hand
+the undaunted knight, who threw himself into the boiling-lake, and
+silently leading him into the rich castle or palace, strips him as naked
+as he was when his mother bore him, and bathes him in water of an
+agreeable temperature, then anoints his whole body with aromatick
+essences, and puts upon him a shirt of the finest lawn, all scented and
+perfumed; then comes another damsel, and throws over his shoulders a
+mantle, which, at least, is usually valued at the price of a whole city,
+or more. After all this ceremony, what a sight it is, when, as they
+relate, he is conducted into another hall, in which a table is furnished
+with such elegance as to excite his admiration and suspense! when they
+sprinkle upon his hands water distilled from amber and odoriferous
+flowers! when he is seated upon a chair of ivory, and attended by all
+those damsels, who serve him in amazing silence! when he is allured by
+such a variety of dishes, and so savourily cooked, that the appetite is
+confounded in its choice! Then to hear musick during his repast, without
+seeing the minstrel, or knowing from whence the sounds proceeds; and,
+after he has refreshed himself, and the table is uncovered, while he
+lolls at ease upon his chair, perhaps picking his teeth, according to
+custom, he is surprized with the sight of another young lady, much more
+beautiful than any of the former, who enters the hall, and sitting down
+by the knight, begins to tell him whose castle that is, and how she is
+inchanted within it, relating other circumstances which create wonder in
+him, and raise the admiration of those who read the story. I need not
+farther expatiate on this subject, since, from what hath been said, it
+plainly appears, that any part whatever of the history of any
+knight-errant whatever, must yield pleasure and surprize to any reader
+whatsoever. Believe me, therefore, good Sir, and as I have already
+hinted, take the trouble of reading those books, and you will see what
+effectual antidotes they are against melancholy, and how they improve
+the disposition, when it is bad. For my own part I can safely aver, that
+since I professed the order of knight errantry, I have been valiant,
+courteous, liberal, well-bred, generous, civil, daring, good-humoured,
+and a patient endurer of toils, captivities, and inchantment; and though
+I so lately found myself shut up in a cage like a madman, I hope, by the
+valour of this my arm, provided Heaven shall favour, and fortune cease
+to oppose me, in a few days to see myself sovereign of some kingdom,
+when I shall be enabled to demonstrate the gratitude and generosity
+which reside within my breast; for, truly, Signior, a poor man is
+incapable of exerting the virtue of liberality, let him possess it in
+never so eminent a degree; and that gratitude which is restrained to
+good-will alone, is like faith without works, no more than the ghost of
+virtue. Wherefore I wish fortune would speedily furnish me with an
+opportunity of making myself an emperor, that I may exercise the virtues
+of my heart, in bestowing benefits on my friends, especially on my poor
+squire Sancho Panza, one of the best men in the world, whom I intend to
+create an earl, in consequence of a promise which he obtained from me
+long ago, though I fear he wants capacity to manage his estate.’
+
+These last words being overheard by Sancho, he said to his master,
+‘Signior Don Quixote, I wish you would take the trouble to give me that
+same earldom, which is as firmly promised by your worship as expected by
+me, and I will undertake to find ability to manage it; or, if I should
+find myself at a loss, I have heard it often said, that there are
+certain persons who farm the estates of great noblemen at so much a
+year, and take charge of the whole, while the owner lolls at his ease,
+enjoying his income, without troubling his noddle about any other
+affairs. Now, I would live in the very same manner, minding the cares of
+this world as little as possible; but leaving off all sorts of business,
+enjoying my rents, like any duke, and let the world wag.’—‘Brother
+Sancho,’ said the canon, ‘that is to be understood only of the spending
+your income; but the lord of a great estate must have regard to the
+administration of justice, which requires ability, sound judgment, and
+principally an upright intention; for if this be wanting in the
+beginning, the middle and end will always be involved in error; and
+therefore Heaven usually assists the righteous intent of the simple,
+while it confounds the wicked aims of the cunning.’—‘I know nothing of
+these philosophies,’ answered the squire; ‘but this I know, that I wish
+to God I had this earldom, as soon as I should find understanding to
+manage it; for I have as big a soul as my neighbours, and as much body
+as he that has more; and would be as much a king in my own estate, as
+any he that wears a head: and so being, I would do what I pleased; and
+doing what I pleased, I should please myself; and pleasing myself, I
+should be satisfied; and in being satisfied, I should have nothing more
+to desire; and having nothing more to desire, there would be an end; so
+let the earldom come a God’s name! I wish we could see it, as one blind
+man said to another.’—‘These are no bad philosophies, as you call them,
+Sancho,’ said the canon; ‘but, for all that, there is much to be said on
+the subject of earldoms.’—‘I know not what more can be said,’ replied
+Don Quixote; ‘for my own part, I do no more than follow the example
+transmitted to me by the great Amadis de Gaul, who created his squire
+earl of the Firm Island; and therefore I may, without scruple of
+conscience, bestow the same honour on Sancho Panza, who is one of the
+best squires that ever served knight-errant.’
+
+The canon was amazed at the methodical madness of Don Quixote,
+manifested in his description of the Knight of the Lake; and in the
+impression which the false adventures of chivalry had made upon his
+imagination; neither was his wonder diminished, when he considered the
+folly of Sancho, who so ardently desired the possession of that island
+which his master had promised to give him, as the reward of his
+services.
+
+By this time the canon’s servants had returned from the inn, with the
+sumpter-mule; and, instead of a table, spread a carpet on the green
+grass, under the shade of some trees, where the company seating
+themselves all round, went to dinner, that the waggoner might not lose
+the opportunity of such a convenient situation as we have already
+observed. While they thus enjoyed themselves, their ears were struck
+with a sudden noise, and the sound of a bell, issuing from the midst of
+some briars and thickets that surrounded the place where they sat; and
+immediately appeared a beautiful she-goat, her skin speckled with spots
+of white, black, and grey, followed by the goatherd; who, in his rustick
+dialect, called to her to stop and return to the fold. The fugitive goat
+trembling with affright, came towards the company, and there stopped, as
+if to implore their protection; while her keeper, seizing her by the
+horns, accosted her in these words, as if she had been possessed of
+sense and understanding; ‘Ah! you spotted wanton, what a rambler you
+have become of late; the wolves will feast upon you one day; what is the
+matter with you, my pretty child? Yet what else can it be but that you
+are a female, and consequently inconstant! a plague upon your
+disposition, and all those you resemble: return, return, my darling; and
+if you are not so happy, at least you will be more secure, in the fold
+among your companions! for if you, who ought to watch over and guide the
+rest, stray about in this imprudent manner, what must become of them?’
+
+These words of the goatherd diverted those who heard them, especially
+the canon, who said to him, ‘I beseech you, brother, to pacify yourself,
+and be not in such a hurry to drive back your goat, which being a
+female, as you observe, will follow her natural disposition, in spite of
+all you can do to oppose it. Take this morsel, and assuage your choler
+with a cup of wine, and in the mean time the goat will repose herself.’
+
+So saying, he presented to him, on the point of a fork, the hind-quarter
+of a cold rabbit, which was thankfully accepted by the goatherd; who
+having taken a long draught, and composed himself, said to the company,
+‘Gentlemen, you must not take me for a simpleton, because I talk to this
+animal as if it were a rational creature; for really there is a mystery
+concealed beneath the words I have uttered. I am a peasant, ’tis true,
+yet not so rustick but that I know how to converse with men as well as
+beasts.’—‘I firmly believe what you say,’ replied the curate; ‘for I
+myself have experienced that the mountains produce learned men, and that
+philosophers are to be found within the shepherd’s cot.’—‘At least,’
+resumed the goatherd, ‘the cottage may contain those who are warned by
+woeful experience; and to convince you feelingly that what I alledge is
+true, I, though undesired, and self-invited, saving the good pleasure of
+this good company, entreat a moment’s hearing, while I recount a true
+story, which will confirm what that gentleman,’ pointing to the curate,
+‘and myself have observed.’
+
+To this proposal Don Quixote replied, ‘As this affair seems to bear
+something of the shadow of an adventure, I for my part will gladly give
+you the hearing, brother, and so will all those gentlemen who are
+persons of taste, and lovers of curious novels, that surprize, delight,
+and entertain the sensible hearer, for I hope your story will certainly
+produce these agreeable effects: begin then, friend, we are all
+attention.’—‘By your leave,’ cried Sancho, ‘I will e’en betake myself
+with this piece of pasty to yonder brook, and lay in store for three
+days; for I have heard my master Don Quixote observe, that the squire of
+a knight-errant ought to eat as often and as much as he can; because
+they are frequently so bewildered in woods and forests, that it will
+take them six whole days to disengage themselves; and if a man’s belly
+or his bags be not well lined with provision, there he may stay, as he
+often does, till he withers into perfect mummy.’—‘You are in the right,
+Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘go where you will, and eat as much as you
+please; for my own part, my grosser appetite is satisfied, and now I
+want refreshment for the mind, which I shall enjoy in listening to this
+honest countryman’s story.’—‘We shall all share in the repast,’ replied
+the canon, who intreated the peasant to perform his promise.
+
+Then the goatherd gave the goat, which he held by the horns, two slaps
+on the buttocks, saying, ‘Lie down by my side, you speckled Nanny; we
+shall have time enough to return to the fold.’ The creature seemed to
+understand his meaning, for he was no sooner set than she lay down very
+quietly, and looking in his face, gave him to understand that she was
+attentive to what he was going to say; upon which he began his story in
+these words.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XXIV.
+ THE STORY WHICH THE GOATHERD RECOUNTED
+ TO THE CONDUCTORS OF DON QUIXOTE.
+
+
+‘Three leagues from this valley stands a village, which though small, is
+one of the richest in all this country; and therein dwelt a farmer in
+great repute: and albeit respect follows worldly wealth, he was more
+beloved for his virtue than respected for his riches; but what he
+regarded as the best part of his good fortune, (as he himself was wont
+to say) was a daughter he had, of such exceeding beauty, rare
+discretion, modesty, and grace, that every one who saw and knew her,
+marvelled at the happy talents with which Heaven and nature had enriched
+her body and her soul. In the cradle she was handsome, and continually
+increased in beauty, till at the age of sixteen she was a most
+inchanting creature: the fame of her charms began to spread over all the
+neighbouring villages; but what need I say the neighbouring villages! it
+extended to distant cities, and even made its way into the king’s court,
+filling the ears of all sorts of people, who came from all parts to see
+her, as if she had been some great curiosity, or miracle-working image.
+Her father watched over her with great care, and she took great care of
+herself; for, truly, a maiden’s own prudent reserve is a better guard
+upon her conduct than all the bolts and spies, and padlocks upon earth.
+The father’s wealth, and the daughter’s beauty, moved a great many
+people, both of town and country, to demand her in marriage; but he,
+like one who has the disposal of a rich jewel, was perplexed in his
+mind, and could not determine in favour of any one of the infinite
+number that solicited his consent. Among the crowd of her suitors, I was
+one who conceived great and flattering hopes of success, because her
+father knew me to be his townsman, of an honest family, in the flower of
+my age, rich in wealth, and in point of understanding not very poor. She
+was also courted by another young man of our town, who was in every
+respect my equal; so that her father was perplexed, and wavered in his
+choice, because he thought his daughter would be well bestowed upon
+either of us; wherefore, in order to deliver himself from this suspence,
+he resolved to communicate our demands to Leandra, (for that is the name
+of this wealthy maiden, who hath made me miserable) and since we were
+equal in all qualifications, to refer the whole affair to the choice and
+decision of his beloved daughter. An example worthy to be followed by
+every father in the settlement of his children: not that I would have
+parents leave them to their own choice, in things that are manifestly
+wicked and base; but first propose a number of prudent schemes, out of
+which they may be allowed to fix upon that which is most to their
+liking. I know not to which of us Leandra gave the preference; this only
+I know, that her father put us off, on pretence of his daughter’s tender
+years, in general terms, which neither laid him under any obligation nor
+gave us any cause of complaint. I think proper to tell you, that I am
+called Eugenio, and my rival Anselmo, that you may be acquainted with
+the names of the persons principally concerned in this tragedy, which is
+still depending; though one may easily foresee, that it must have a
+melancholy end.
+
+‘But, to return to my story: just about that time, there came to our
+town one Vincent de La Rosa, the son of a poor labouring man that lived
+in the village: this Vincent, who was just returned from being a soldier
+in Italy, and other foreign parts, had been carried away, when he was a
+boy about twelve years of age, by a captain that chanced to march
+through the town with his company; and now, after an absence of another
+dozen of years, he returned, in the garb of a soldier, pinked up in a
+thousand colours, and bedecked with a power of glass toys and
+slender-chains of steel. To-day he dressed himself out in one gay suit,
+to-morrow in another: but all his finery and gewgaws were of little
+weight or value. The labouring people, who are naturally malicious, nay,
+when idleness gives them opportunity, downright malice itself, observed
+and took an exact account of all his ornaments and fine apparel, and
+found that he had no more than three suits of different colours, with
+garters and hose; but he found means to disguise them by such
+inventions, that one who had not been at the pains to detect him, would
+have sworn that he had appeared in more than ten different dresses, and
+in upwards of twenty plumes of feathers; and you must not think it
+impertinent or foolish in me to give you this account of his cloaths,
+because they bear a considerable share in the story. He used to seat
+himself upon a stone, under a tall poplar that grew in our market-place,
+and there keep us all gaping around him at the exploits which he
+recounted; if you would take his word for it, there was not a country on
+the face of the earth, which he had not seen, nor a battle in which he
+had not served: he had killed a greater number of Moors than ever Tunis
+or Morocco produced; and, by his own account, fought more single combats
+than were ever maintained by Gante, Luna, Diego Garcia de Paredez, and a
+thousand more whom he named, gaining the victory in each, without losing
+one single drop of his blood; then he would shew the marks of wounds,
+which though not to be distinguished, he gave us to understand were the
+effects of musket-shot he had received in different actions and
+encounters; finally, with incredible arrogance, he used to _thou_ his
+own equals, even those who knew his extraction, and say that his own arm
+was his father, his family the work of his own hands, and being a
+soldier, he owed nothing even to the king himself: with all his
+boasting, he knew something of musick, and could thrum upon the guittar
+so as that some people said he made it speak. But his talents did not
+end here; for he was also a piece of a poet, and wrote ballads a league
+and a half long, upon every silly trifle that happened in the village.
+Well, then, this soldier whom I have described, this Vincent de La Rosa,
+this braggadocio, this gallant, this musician, and poet, was often seen
+and observed by Leandra from the window of her apartment, that looked
+towards the market-place. She was captivated by the tinsel of his gaudy
+cloaths, and inchanted by his ballads; for he gave away twenty copies of
+each that he composed; the feats he related of himself, reached her
+ears: in short, (as the devil himself must certainly have ordained) she
+fell in love with him, even before he had the presumption to make any
+attempt upon her heart; and, as in the affairs of love every thing is
+easily accomplished by the man who is already in possession of the
+woman’s affection, Leandra and Vincent soon came to a right
+understanding; and before any one of her numerous admirers had the least
+inkling of her inclination, she had already gratified it, by leaving the
+house of her loving and indulgent father, (mother she had none) and
+running away with the soldier, who triumphed in that enterprise, and
+more effectually than in any one he had ever undertaken.
+
+‘This event filled not only the whole village, but likewise all who
+heard of it, with admiration: I, for my part, was amazed, Anselmo
+astonished, the father overwhelmed with sorrow, and the relations with
+shame. Justice, however, being solicited, the troopers immediately took
+the road, examined every copse and thicket thereabouts, and after a
+search of three days, found the giddy Leandra in the cave of a mountain,
+naked to the smock, and stripped of a great quantity of money and
+precious jewels, which she had carried off when she made her escape.
+When she was brought back to the presence of her afflicted father, and
+questioned about her misfortune, she frankly owned that Vincent de La
+Rosa had imposed upon her; that under promise of marriage, he had
+persuaded her to forsake her father’s house, promising to conduct her to
+Naples, which he said, was the most beautiful and flourishing city in
+the whole world; that she inadvertently and fondly believed his false
+professions, and robbing her father, put herself under his protection
+that same night she was missed, when he carried her to a rocky mountain,
+and confined her in the cave where she was found: she likewise affirmed
+that the soldier, without making any attempt upon her virtue, had
+stripped her of all she had, and left her in that forlorn condition; a
+circumstance that surprized all who heard it, the soldier’s continence
+being so incredible; but she insisted upon it with such earnest
+asseverations, that the disconsolate father was in some sort comforted,
+making little account of the money he had lost, since his daughter was
+allowed to keep the jewel which when once lost there is no hope of
+retrieving.
+
+‘The same day that Leandra appeared, her father removed her from our
+eyes, and shut her up in a monastery of a neighbouring town, hoping that
+time would efface some part of the bad opinion his daughter had
+incurred. The tender years of Leandra served as an excuse for her
+misconduct, especially with those who are not concerned in the affair;
+but those who know her discretion and good sense, do not ascribe her
+fault to ignorance, but to mere levity, and the natural disposition of
+women, which is always injudicious and imperfect. Leandra being thus
+secured, Anselmo’s eyes were blind to every thing that could yield him
+pleasure; and mine remained in darkness, without the least glimpse of
+light to direct them to any agreeable object: the absence of Leandra
+increased our affliction, and exhausted our patience; we cursed the
+soldier’s finery, and exclaimed against her father’s want of care. At
+length we agreed to quit the village, and repair to this valley, where
+he feeding a vast flock of sheep, which are his own property, and I
+tending a numerous fold of goats, which are also mine, we spend our
+lives under the cool shade of lofty trees, and give vent to our passion,
+either by singing, in concert, the praise or dispraise of the beautiful
+Leandra, or each by himself singing in the lonely grove, and ejaculating
+his complaint to Heaven. In imitation of us, many more of Leandra’s
+lovers have betaken themselves to these rugged mountains, and the
+exercise of the same employment; so that this spot seems to be
+transformed into a pastoral Arcadia, every field being crouded with
+shepherds and folds, and every corner resounding with the name of the
+fair Leandra. One curses and calls her fickle, inconstant, and immodest;
+a second condemns her credulity and lightness of behaviour; a third
+acquits and forgives her, while she is arraigned and reproached by a
+fourth; some celebrate her beauty; others find fault with her
+disposition: in short, she is censured and adored by them all; nay, to
+such a pitch hath their extravagance risen, that some of them complain
+of her disdain, though they never spoke to her; and others, in their
+lamentations, pretend to feel the rage of jealousy, which is a passion
+she never inspired; for, as I have already mentioned, her fault was
+known before her inclination was suspected: there is not the hollow of a
+rock, the margin of a rill, nor the shade of a tree, that is not
+occupied by some shepherd, recounting his misfortune to the winds;
+wherever an echo can be formed, it repeats the name of Leandra; the
+hills resound with Leandra; the rivulets murmur Leandra; in short,
+Leandra keeps us all inchanted and perplexed, hoping we know not how,
+and dreading we know not what. Among the wrong-headed society, he that
+shews the least, though he has the greatest share of judgment, is my
+rival Anselmo; who, notwithstanding all the cause he has to be
+dissatisfied, complains of absence only, turning his lamentation to the
+sound of the rebeck, which he touches with admirable skill, in verses
+that shew the excellence of his genius. I follow a more easy, and in my
+opinion, a wiser course, namely, to inveigh against the levity of the
+female sex; their fickleness, their double dealing, their rotten
+promises, their broken faith; and finally, their want of judgment in
+bestowing their affections. These, gentlemen, are my reasons for the
+discourse you heard me address to my goat, whom (because she is a
+female) I despise, although she be the best of the fold. This is the
+story I promised to recount, and if I have been prolix in the narration,
+I shall not be brief in what service you shall please to command. Hard
+by is my cottage, in which I have plenty of new milk, and most savoury
+cheese, with abundance of the fruit in season, no less agreeable to the
+taste than to the view.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XXV.
+ OF THE QUARREL THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE AND THE GOATHERD,
+ WITH THE CURIOUS ADVENTURE OF THE DISCIPLINANTS, WHICH THE KNIGHT
+ HAPPILY ATCHIEVED WITH THE SWEAT OF HIS BROW.
+
+
+This story of the goatherd gave infinite pleasure to all that heard it,
+especially to the canon, who observed, with admiration, his manner of
+relating it, as distant from the rustick phrase of a peasant as near
+approaching to the polite stile of a courtier; and therefore he said,
+the curate had justly observed that the mountains sometimes produced
+learned men. Every body made proffers of service to Eugenio, but he that
+shewed himself most liberal in compliment was Don Quixote, who said to
+him, ‘Truly, brother goatherd, were it possible for me to undertake any
+new adventure, I would forthwith set forward in your behalf, and deliver
+Leandra from that monastery, in which she is, doubtless, detained
+against her will, in spite of the abbess and all that should oppose my
+design; and would put her into your hands to be treated according to
+your good will and pleasure, so far as is consistent with the laws of
+chivalry, by which all damsels are protected from wrongs: though I hope
+in God, that a malicious inchanter shall not so far prevail, but that he
+may be excelled in power, by another of a more righteous disposition;
+and then you may depend upon my favour and assistance, according to the
+duty of my profession, which is no other than to succour the wretched
+and the weak.’
+
+The goatherd stared at Don Quixote, and being struck with admiration at
+his rueful aspect and dishevelled locks, said to the barber, who sat
+near him, ‘Signior, pray, who is that man who looks and talks so
+wildly?’—‘Who should it be,’ answered the barber, ‘but the renowned Don
+Quixote de La Mancha! the redresser of grievances, the righter of
+wrongs, the protector of damsels, the terror of giants, and thunder-bolt
+of war?’—‘That discourse,’ replied the peasant, ‘puts me in mind of
+those books which treat of knights errant, who were commonly
+distinguished by such titles as you bestow on that man: but, I suppose,
+you are pleased to be merry, or else the apartments of this poor
+gentleman’s skull are but indifferent-furnished.’
+
+‘You are a most impudent rascal!’ (cried the knight, over-hearing what
+he said) ‘it is your skull that is unfurnished and unsound; but mine is
+more pregnant than the abominable whore that brought you forth.’ So
+saying, he snatched up a loaf, and flung it at the goatherd with such
+fury, that he levelled his nose with his face.
+
+Eugenio, who did not understand raillery, finding himself maltreated in
+earnest, without any respect for the carpet, table-cloth, or company,
+leaped upon the knight, and laying hold of his collar, with both hands,
+would certainly have strangled him, if Sancho Panza had not at that
+instant sprung to his master’s assistance, and pulling his antagonist
+backwards, tumbled him over upon the table, where plates, cups,
+victuals, wine, and all went to wreck. Don Quixote finding himself
+disengaged, arose, and in his turn, got upon the goatherd, who being
+battered by the master, and kicked by the man, was creeping about on all
+fours in quest of a table-knife, with which he intended to take some
+bloody revenge, but was prevented by the canon and curate; the goatherd,
+however, managed matters so as that he got the knight under him, when he
+rained such a shower of kicks and cuffs upon his carcase, that our
+hero’s countenance was as much overflowed with blood as his own; the
+curate and canon were ready to burst with laughing, the troopers capered
+about with joy, and the whole company hallooed, according to the
+practice of the spectators when two dogs are engaged: Sancho Panza alone
+was distracted, because he could not get out of the clutches of one of
+the canon’s servants, who hindered him from assisting his master. In
+fine, when every body was thus regaled and rejoiced, except the
+combatants, who worried each other, they heard a trumpet utter such a
+melancholy note, that they could not help turning their heads, and
+looking towards the place from whence the sound seemed to come: but he
+on whom it made the greatest impression was Don Quixote; who, though
+lying under his antagonist, very much against his inclination, and more
+than sufficiently pummelled, said to the goatherd, ‘Brother devil, (for
+sure thou canst be nothing else, who hast strength and valour sufficient
+to overcome my efforts) I beg a truce for one hour only; because the
+doleful sound of that trumpet which salutes our ears, seems to summon me
+to some new adventure.’
+
+The goatherd being by this time heartily tired of drubbing, as well as
+of being drubbed, immediately complied with his request; and Don Quixote
+starting up, directed his view towards the place whence the sound seemed
+to issue, where he descried a great number of people dressed in white
+like disciplinants, coming down the side of a neighbouring hill. That
+year the heavens had withheld refreshing showers from the earth; and
+through all the villages of that district the people instituted
+processions, disciplines, and prayers, beseeching God to open the
+fountains of his mercy, and favour them with rain: for this purpose, the
+inhabitants of a neighbouring village were then going in procession to a
+holy hermitage built on an eminence that skirted the valley; and Don
+Quixote seeing the strange dress of the disciplinants[125], without
+recollecting that he had frequently seen such habits before, concluded
+the whole to be an adventure, which it was the province of him as a
+knight-errant to atchieve: what served to confirm him in this notion,
+was an image cloathed in black, which was carried before them, and which
+he supposed to be some princess whom those discourteous robbers were
+carrying off by force.
+
+This whim no sooner entered his brain, than he ran with great agility to
+Rozinante, who was feeding very quietly, and taking the bridle and
+shield, which hung upon the pummel of the saddle, clapped the bit in his
+mouth in a twinkling, and demanding his sword from Sancho, mounted his
+steed, and braced his target, calling aloud to the company, ‘Now,
+honourable gentlemen, ye shall perceive the importance of those who
+profess the order of knight-errantry! now, I say, ye shall, in the
+deliverance of that excellent lady, who is at present a captive, behold
+how much knights-errant ought to be esteemed.’
+
+So saying, he clapped heels to Rozinante, (spurs he had none) and at a
+hand-gallop (for we do not find in this true history that ever Rozinante
+went full-speed) rode up to attack the disciplinants. Though the canon,
+curate and barber, made efforts to detain him, they found it
+impracticable; he was even deaf to the cries of Sancho, who bawled with
+great vociferation: ‘Where are you going, Signior Don Quixote? what
+devil possesses and provokes you to act against our Catholick faith!
+take notice—a plague upon me!—take notice that this is no other than a
+procession of disciplinants, and that lady carried on the bier the
+blessed image of the immaculate Virgin! Consider, Signior, what you are
+about, for sure I am you do not know!’
+
+In vain did Sancho strain his lungs: his master was so intent upon
+overtaking the apparitions, and setting the lady in black at liberty,
+that he heard not one syllable; nor if he had, would he have returned,
+even if the king had commanded him so to do. When he approached the
+procession, he stopped Rozinante, who was already out of breath, and
+with a hoarse disordered voice, pronounced, ‘You there, who perhaps
+disguise yourselves for no good, stop, and give ear to what I am going
+to say.’
+
+Those who carried the image were the first that halted, and one of the
+four priests who sung the litanies, observing the strange aspect of Don
+Quixote, the leanness of Rozinante, with other ridiculous circumstances
+belonging to both, answered in these words: ‘Friend, if you have any
+thing to say, speak quickly; for these our brethren are all this while
+scourging their own flesh; and we cannot, nor is it reasonable we should
+tarry to hear any thing that cannot be comprehended in two words.’—‘I
+will comprehend what I have to say in one,’ replied the knight; ‘and it
+is this: I command you instantly to set free that beautiful lady, whose
+tears and melancholy deportment clearly demonstrate that you are
+carrying her off, contrary to her inclination, after having done her
+some notorious wrong; and I, who was born to redress such grievances,
+will not suffer you to proceed one step farther, until she shall have
+obtained that liberty she deserves.’
+
+From these words, concluding that he must be some madman, all of them
+began to laugh very heartily; and their mirth acting as a train of
+gunpowder to the knight’s choler, he drew his sword, and without
+uttering another word, attacked the bearers; one of whom, leaving his
+share of the load to his companions, opposed himself to this aggressor,
+brandishing a fork or pole, on which (when they were wearied) they
+supported the bier. Don Quixote, with a furious back-stroke, cut this
+implement in two; but with the piece which remained in the hand of the
+defendant, received such a thwack upon the shoulder above his sword-arm,
+that his buckler was unable to sustain the shock of such a rude assault,
+and down came the poor knight in a most lamentable condition.
+
+Sancho Panza, who came puffing after his master, seeing him fall, called
+aloud to his antagonist to forbear; for he was a poor inchanted knight,
+who had never done the least harm to man, woman, or child; but the
+peasant’s forbearance was not owing to this exclamation of the squire,
+so much as to the situation of Don Quixote, who neither moved hand nor
+foot; so that believing he had done his business, he hastily gathered up
+his frock, and fled through the field as nimble as a buck. By this time
+the whole company were come up to the place where Don Quixote lay; and
+those belonging to the procession seeing so many people running towards
+them, accompanied by the troopers with their cross-bows, began to be in
+dread of some mischievous event, and formed themselves into a circle
+around the image: then the disciplinants lifting up their hoods, and
+wielding their scourges, and the priests their long tapers, waited the
+assault, with full determination to defend themselves, and, if possible,
+act offensively against all who should attack them. But fortune disposed
+of things more favourably than they expected; for all that Sancho did,
+was to throw himself upon the body of his master, who he believed was
+actually dead, and utter the most doleful and ludicrous lamentation that
+ever was heard. The curate was immediately known by a brother of the
+cloth, who belonged to the procession, and this acquaintance dispelled
+the apprehension which both squadrons had began to conceive. Our
+licentiate told his friend in a few words who Don Quixote was, upon
+which he and the whole crowd of disciplinants went to see whether or not
+the poor knight was dead, and heard Sancho Panza, with tears in his
+eyes, lamenting in these words: ‘O flower of chivalry, who by the single
+stroke of a cudgel, hast finished the career of thy well-spent life! O
+thou honour of thy family, thou glory of La Mancha! aye, and of the
+whole world, which being deprived of thee, will soon be filled with
+evil-doers, who will prosper without fear of chastisement for their
+wicked deeds! Oh, thou wast more liberal than all the Alexanders that
+ever lived! for thou gavest me, for eight months service only, the best
+island that ever the sea surrounded. Oh! thou wast humble with the
+haughty, and haughty with the humble, tempting dangers, enduring
+disgraces, in love without cause, imitating the good, scourging the
+wicked, a professed enemy to every thing that was base; in short, a
+knight-errant, and that is every thing in one word!’
+
+The cries and groans of Sancho revived his master, and the first words
+he pronounced were these: ‘He who is condemned to live absent from thee,
+most amiable Dulcinea! is subjected to much greater hardships than
+these. Friend Sancho, help to lay me on the inchanted car; for I am
+incapable of pressing Rozinante’s saddle, this whole shoulder being
+crushed to pieces.’—‘That I’ll do very willingly, dear master,’ replied
+the squire; ‘and let us return to our own habitation, in company of
+these gentlemen, who wish you well; and there we will lay a scheme for
+another sally, which I hope will be more fortunate and creditable.’—‘You
+are in the right, Sancho,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘and it will be very
+prudent in us to let the malign influence of the stars pass over.’
+
+The canon, curate, and barber, approved of his intention, and being
+extremely diverted with the squire’s simplicity, conveyed the knight to
+his former situation in the waggon. The procession was formed anew, and
+set forwards accordingly: the goatherd took his leave of the company;
+the troopers, being unwilling to go farther, were paid by the curate for
+their trouble; the canon having intreated the priest to inform him by
+letter of Don Quixote’s fate, with regard to the continuation or cure of
+his extravagance, bade him farewel, and proceeded on his journey; in
+short, there was a general separation, till at length the curate,
+barber, Don Quixote, and Panza, were left by themselves, with the trusty
+Rozinante, who, with the patience of his master, bore and beheld every
+thing that passed.
+
+The waggoner yoking his oxen, accommodated the knight with a truss of
+hay, and with his usual phlegm jogged on according to the priest’s
+directions, till, at the end of six days, they arrived at their own
+village, which they entered about noon; and it chancing to be Sunday,
+the market-place through which they were obliged to pass was crouded
+with people, who running to see what was in the cage, recognized their
+townsman, and were struck with astonishment. A boy ran immediately to
+his housekeeper and niece, whom when he informed of their master’s
+arrival, in a most meagre, withered condition, stretched upon a truss of
+hay, in a waggon; it was a piteous thing to hear the cries that were
+uttered by these worthy ladies, who buffetted themselves through
+vexation, and vented bitter curses against the wicked books of chivalry;
+which lamentations, buffettings, and curses, were repeated with greater
+violence than ever, when they saw the knight enter his own gate.
+
+Sancho Panza’s wife, who had got intimation that he was gone with Don
+Quixote in quality of his squire, hearing of his return, ran straight to
+her husband, and the first question she asked was, whether or not the
+ass was in good health? when the squire answered, that the ass was in
+better health than his master, ‘Thanks be to God,’ cried she, ‘for that
+and all his other mercies. But, now tell me, friend, what good you have
+got by your squireship? Have you brought home a new petticoat for me, or
+shoes for your children?’—‘I have brought no such matters, my dear,’
+replied Sancho, ‘but things of greater consideration and importance.’—‘I
+am glad of that, with all my heart!’ said the wife; ‘pray shew me these
+things of greater consideration and importance, that the sight of them
+may rejoice my heart, which hath been so sad and discontented all the
+weary time of your being away.’—‘You shall see them at home,’ answered
+Sancho; ‘and heark’ee, wife, make yourself easy for the present; for, an
+it please God that we set out again in quest of adventures, you shall
+speedily behold your husband an earl, or governor of an island; I don’t
+mean your common islands, but one of the best that ever was seen.’—‘The
+Lord in heaven grant it, husband; for I am sure we have need enough of
+such windfalls: but tell me, what is an island; for, truly, I know not
+the meaning of the word?’—‘Honey was not made for the mouth of an ass,’
+said the squire; ‘you shall see what it is, all in good time, my dear;
+aye, and admire to hear all your vassals call you, my lady.’—‘What is
+that you say, Sancho, of ladies, islands, and vassals?’ cried Joan
+Panza; for that was the name of the squire’s wife, though she was not
+related to Sancho before marriage; but it is the custom in La Mancha for
+the women to take the names of their husbands. ‘Don’t be in such a hurry
+to know every thing, Joan,’ replied the squire; ‘it is sufficient that I
+tell thee nothing but truth; let this, therefore, stop that mouth of
+thine. Mean time, however, I care not if I tell thee, that it is one of
+the most pleasant occupations in the world for an honourable person,
+like me, to be squire to a knight-errant, when he is in quest of
+adventures. True it is, the greatest part of them do not fall out quite
+so much to one’s liking as one could wish; for, out of a hundred in
+which we are engaged, ninety-nine are generally cross and unfortunate.
+That I know by experience, having been sometimes threshed, and sometimes
+blanketted; but howsomever, it is a curious pastime to be always in
+expectation of adventures, crossing huge mountains, searching woods,
+climbing rocks, visiting castles, lodging at inns, where we live at rack
+and manger, and the devil a farthing to pay.’
+
+While this conversation passed between Sancho and his wife, the
+housekeeper and niece received Don Quixote, whom they undressed and put
+to bed in his old chamber, while he eyed them askance, without being
+able to comprehend where he was. The curate laid his injunctions on the
+niece to cherish her uncle with great tenderness, and charged them both
+to take especial care that he might not escape again, giving them an
+account of the trouble he had been at in bringing him back to his own
+house. Here they raised their voices again in concert, renewing their
+curses upon the books of chivalry, and beseeching Heaven to confound the
+authors of such madness and lyes to the lowest pit of hell; in short
+they were half distracted with the apprehension of losing him again, as
+soon as his health should be re-established; and this was actually the
+case.
+
+But the author of this history, although he inquired with the utmost
+curiosity and diligence, concerning the actions of Don Quixote in his
+third sally, could never find any satisfactory and authentick account of
+them; only, fame hath preserved some memoirs in La Mancha, by which it
+appears that Don Quixote, when he set out the third time, went to
+Saragossa, where he was present at a most celebrated tournament, in
+which many things happened to him worthy of his genius and valour: but
+with regard to his death and burial, he could obtain no information; and
+must have remained entirely ignorant of that event, had he not luckily
+met with an old physician, who had in his custody a leaden box, which he
+said he found under the foundation of an ancient hermitage that was
+repairing. This box contained some skins of parchment, on which were
+written in Gothick characters and Castilian verse, many of our knight’s
+exploits, with a description of Dulcinea’s beauty, Rozinante’s figure,
+Sancho’s fidelity, and Don Quixote’s own funeral, celebrated by divers
+epitaphs, and panegyricks on his life and morals. All that could be
+read, and fairly copied, are those which are here inserted by the
+faithful author of this new and surprizing history, who, in recompence
+for the immense trouble he has undergone in his enquiries, and in
+examining the archives of La Mancha, that he might publish it with more
+certainty, desires the reader to favour him with the same credit which
+intelligent persons give to those books of chivalry that pass so
+currently in the world; and herewith he will rest fully satisfied; and
+perhaps be animated to search after, and find out other histories, if
+not as authentick, at least as full of invention and entertainment.
+
+The verses which were written in the first skin of parchment found in
+the leaden box were these—
+
+
+THE ACADEMICIANS OF ARGAMASILLA, A TOWN OF LA MANCHA, ON THE LIFE AND
+DEATH OF THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA, HOC SCRIPSERUNT.
+
+
+MONICONGO, ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA, ON THE SEPULTURE OF DON QUIXOTE.
+
+
+ EPITAPH.
+
+ The bully that La Mancha deck’d
+ With spoils that shame the Cretan Jason,
+ Whose judgment ripe, and wit uncheck’d,
+ The trumpet of renown shall blazon;
+ That arm, whose valour did extend
+ To Gæta, from remote Cathay;
+ That muse which did the welkin rend
+ With verse which brazen plates display;
+ Who Amadis left far behind,
+ And deem’d Galaor a mere baby,
+ Whose valour with such lustre shin’d,
+ As shew’d ev’n Belianis shabby;
+ He that on Rozinante rode,
+ Now mingles with this clay-cold clod!
+
+
+PANIGUADO, ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA, IN PRAISE OF DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO.
+
+
+ SONG.
+
+ The maid, you see, with cheeks so blouzy,
+ High-chested, vigorous, and frouzy,
+ Dulcinea, fam’d Toboso’s princess,
+ Don Quixote’s gen’rous flame evinces:
+ For her, on foot, he did explore
+ The sable mountain o’er and o’er,
+ Through many a weary field did halt,
+ And all through Rozinante’s fault.
+ Hard fate! that such a dame should die
+ In spite of him and chivalry;
+ That he whose deeds e’en stones proclaim,
+ Should mourn a disappointed flame!
+
+
+CAPRICHOSO, A MOST INGENIOUS ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA, IN PRAISE OF
+ROZINANTE, THE RENOWNED STEED OF DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA.
+
+
+ On a proud trunk of Adamant,
+ Whose bloody branches smell’d of war,
+ La Mancha’s frantick wight did plant
+ His standard glitt’ring from afar.
+ There hung his arms; there gleam’d his sword,
+ That wont to level, hack, and hew;
+ Yet shall the wond’ring muse afford
+ For new exploits, a stile that’s new.
+ Let Gaul of Amadis be proud,
+ Greece boast the champions she hath bore;
+ Don Quixote triumphs o’er the crowd
+ Of all the warlike knights of yore:
+ For neither Gaul nor Greece can vie
+ With fam’d La Mancha’s chivalry.
+ Ev’n Rozinante wears the bay;
+ Let Brilladore and Bayard bray[126].
+
+
+BURLADOR, AN ARGAMASILLAN ACADEMICIAN, ON SANCHO PANZA.
+
+
+ SONG.
+
+ Here Sancho view of body small,
+ But great in worth, in action clear,
+ The best and simplest squire of all
+ The world e’er saw, I vow and swear.
+ And earl he surely might have been,
+ Had not this knavish age of brass,
+ With insolence and envious spleen,
+ Conspir’d against him and his ass;
+ That ass, on which he gently trotted
+ At gentle Rozinante’s tail;
+ Vain man, with flatt’ring hope besotted,
+ How, in a dream, thy prospects fail!
+
+
+CACHIDIABLO, ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA, ON THE SEPULTURE OF DON
+QUIXOTE.
+
+
+ EPITAPH.
+
+ On Rozinante’s back
+ The knight that whilome travell’d
+ Thro’ highway, path, and track,
+ Is here bemir’d and gravell’d:
+ And eke as stiff as he,
+ The block of Sancho Panza,
+ A trusty squire, perdie!
+ As ever mortal man saw.
+
+
+TIQUITOCK, ACADEMICIAN OF ARGAMASILLA, ON THE SEPULTURE OF DULCINEA DEL
+TOBOSO.
+
+
+ Here lies Dulcinea, once so plump,
+ But now her fat all melts away;
+ For death, with an inhuman thump,
+ Has turn’d her into dust and clay.
+ Of a true breed she surely sprung,
+ And wanted not external grace;
+ Quixote’s heart with love she stung,
+ And shone the glory of her race.
+
+These were all the verses which could be read; the rest being
+worm-eaten, were delivered to an academician, that he might attempt to
+unravel their meaning by conjecture. This task we understand, he has
+performed with infinite pains and study, intending to publish them to
+the world, in expectation of the third sally of Don Quixote.
+
+‘_Forse altri canterà con miglior plettro._’
+
+END OF THE SECOND VOLUME.
+
+Footnote 125:
+
+ Persons hired to whip themselves on such occasions.
+
+Footnote 126:
+
+ The horse of Orlando Furioso was called Brigliadoro; as Bayardo was
+ the name of the steed belonging to Ruggiero, the second, if not the
+ first hero in Ariosto’s incomparable poem.
+
+
+
+
+ VOLUME THE THIRD.
+ PART II.
+
+
+ PREFACE.
+
+
+Heavens! with what eagerness must thou be waiting for this prologue,
+courteous reader, whosoever thou art, gentle or simple, in hopes of
+finding it replete with resentment, reproaches, and revenge, against the
+author of the Second Don Quixote; him, I mean, who, it is reported, was
+engendered at Tordesillas, and brought forth in Tarragona. But, truly, I
+have no intention to give thee that satisfaction: for, although injuries
+may awaken indignation in vulgar breasts; mine, I hope, will always be
+an exception to that rule. Thou wouldst be glad, perhaps, to find me
+bellowing upon him the epithets of ass, blockhead, and insolent coxcomb;
+but such low revenge never once entered my imagination: his own
+conscience will sufficiently chastise him; let him therefore chew the
+cud of remorse, and digest it if he can. I own, I cannot help feeling
+the unjust reproach when he taxes me with lameness and old age, as if it
+had been in my power to retard the lapse of time; or that I had been
+maimed in some tavern-brawl, and not on the most glorious occasion that
+ever the past or present age beheld, or posterity can ever hope to see.
+If my wounds do not brighten in the eyes of every spectator, they are at
+least esteemed by those who know where they were acquired[127]; and who
+thinks that a soldier who falls in battle makes a much more noble
+appearance than he who saves himself by flight. This opinion is so
+rooted within my own breast, that, were such an impossibility proposed
+and effected, I would rather be lame as I am, with the share I had in
+that stupendous action, than sound of body, without the honour of having
+been there. The wounds that appear in a soldier’s countenance and bosom,
+are so many stars to guide the rest of mankind to the haven of honour,
+and the desire of honest praise; and it ought to be observed, that an
+author does not write with his grey hairs, but according to the dictates
+of his understanding, which is usually improved by years and experience.
+I perceive also, that he calls me envious; and, as if I were utterly
+ignorant, is at the pains to describe the nature of envy; though I
+protest of the two kinds, I only harbour that which is pure, virtuous,
+and noble. This being the case, as it undoubtedly is, I have not the
+least inclination to inveigh against any priest, especially one who
+bears the office of familiar to the holy inquisition; and if what he
+says be advanced in behalf of him whose cause he seems to espouse, he is
+altogether mistaken, in my opinion, of that person, whose genius I
+adore: I admire his works, together with his continual occupation in the
+practice of virtues; but I am actually obliged to this honourable
+author, for saying that my novels[128] are more satirical than
+exemplary, though he owns they are good of their kind; for, without
+being exemplary, they cannot possibly be good.
+
+I suppose, gentle reader, thou art by this time of opinion, that I walk
+with great circumspection, and scrupulously confine myself within the
+bounds of modesty, conscious that it is inhuman to heap affliction on
+the afflicted; and that this gentleman’s must needs be very great, since
+he dares not appear in the open field, and in the face of Heaven, but
+conceals his name, and dissembles his country, as if he had been guilty
+of high treason: tell him, therefore, in my name, if ever thou shouldst
+chance to find him out, that I do not at all think myself injured by
+what he has done, for well do I know, what temptations the devil spreads
+before us; and that one of his most effectual snares, is to make a man
+believe that he has capacity to write a book, by which he shall obtain
+an equal share of money and reputation. In confirmation of what I say, I
+will beg the favour of you to tell him a short story.
+
+There was in Seville, a certain madman seized with the most diverting
+whim that ever entered the brain of a lunatick. He used to walk with a
+hollow cane, pointed at one end; and whenever he met with a dog in the
+street, or in any other place, he clapped his foot on one of the
+creature’s hind-legs, pulled up the other with his hand, and applying,
+as well as he could, the pipe to his posteriors, instantly blew him up
+as round as a ball. This operation being performed, he clapped him twice
+on the belly, and dismissed the patient, saying, very gravely, to the
+mob that never failed to gather round him, ‘Gentlemen, I suppose, now,
+you think it is an easy matter to blow up a dog!’ In like manner, I say,
+‘I suppose your worship thinks it an easy matter to write a book.’ If
+this story should not be to his liking, be so good, friendly reader, as
+to tell this other, which also relates to a dog and a madman.
+
+There was another ideot in Cordova, who had a trick of carrying upon his
+head a piece of marble, or heavy stone; and, as often as he perceived
+any dog off his guard, he would approach him slily, and let it fall
+plump upon his head. This was no joke to the poor dog, who used to run
+barking and howling the length of three whole streets, before he
+ventured to look behind. But, among others, he one day happened to
+discharge his burden on a cap-maker’s favourite dog; down went the stone
+upon his head, and the injured beast set up the howl: the master seeing
+what passed, was filled with indignation, snatched up his measure, and
+sallying out upon the lunatick, did not leave a whole bone in his skin;
+saying, at every blow he bestowed, ‘Dog! rascal! use my spaniel in this
+manner! Did not you see, barbarous villain, that my dog was a spaniel!’
+Thus repeating the word spaniel a great many times, he beat the
+aggressor into jelly.
+
+The madman being documented, sneaked off, and kept his chamber a whole
+month; at the end of which, he returned to his former pastime, with a
+greater stone than ever, and coming up to a dog that lay asleep,
+considered him with great attention, but was afraid of discharging the
+stone, saying, ‘’Ware spaniel!’ In short, all the dogs he afterwards met
+with, whether curs or mastiffs, were in his opinion spaniels; so that he
+never ventured to repeat his experiment.——Now this may be the fate of
+our historian, who will not chuse to open the flood-gates of his wit
+again, in composing books, which, if bad, are harder than stone.
+
+Tell him, likewise, that I value not his threats a farthing, when he
+says that his performance will deprive me of bread; but answer him with
+a quotation from the famous interlude of the Perendenga: ‘To four and
+twenty, live, my lord, and Christ be with us all.’ Long live the great
+Count de Lemos, whose well-known Christian generosity supports me
+against all the strokes of adverse fortune; and long life to the
+transcendent charity of the most illustrious archbishop of Toledo, Don
+Bernardo de Sandoval y Rojas; if there was not one printing-press in the
+whole world, or if more books were published against me than there are
+letters in the couplets of Mingo Rebulgo; these two princes, unsolicited
+by any adulation or other kind of praise on my part, but purely out of
+their own benevolence, have been pleased to honour me with their
+countenance and favour, in which I think myself infinitely more happy
+and rich, than if I had been conducted to the highest pinnacle of
+fortune, in the ordinary way. Honour may be enjoyed by a poor, but never
+by a vicious man; nobility may be clouded by indigence, but never
+altogether obscured; for virtue, shining by its own internal light, even
+through the inconveniencies and crannies of poverty, will recommend
+itself to the esteem of high and princely minds, and of consequence
+obtain their favour and protection. Thou needest say no more to him; nor
+will I give thee any farther trouble, except to observe, that thou art
+to consider this second part of Don Quixote as a work of the same
+artificer, and composed of the same materials with the first, in which I
+present the knight at full length; and, in short, exhibit him dead and
+buried; that no man, for the future, may presume to raise fresh evidence
+against him; those already examined being sufficient for the purpose.
+The more so, as a man of honour has already given an account of his
+ingenious follies, without any intention to resume the subject; for
+there may be too much even of a good thing; and the scarcity of those
+things which are in themselves indifferent, often brings them into some
+degree of estimation. I had almost forgot to tell thee, that thou mayest
+expect the Persiles, which I am now finishing, together with the second
+part of Galatea.
+
+Footnote 127:
+
+ The battle of Lepanto.
+
+Footnote 128:
+
+ Novales Exemplares.
+
+
+ APPROBATION.
+
+
+By order of Signior Doctor Gutierrez de Cetina, vicar-general of the
+city of Madrid, where his majesty keeps his court, I have perused the
+second part of the sage knight, Don Quixote de La Mancha, written by
+Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra; in which I can find nothing unworthy of a
+zealous Christian, or deviating from that respect which is justly due to
+good example and moral virtue. On the contrary, the performance contains
+much erudition and profitable amusement; not only in the well-supported
+sequel of his design, to extirpate those vain and lying books of
+chivalry, which had already too far spread their infection; but also in
+the purity of his Castilian language, unadulterated with insipid
+affectation, which every man of sense abhors; and in his manner of
+correcting the vicious, who generally feel the point of his satire. Yet
+he so wisely observes the laws of Christian rebuke, that the patient
+labouring under the infirmity which he intends to cure, may, in such
+sweet and palatable medicine, even without his own knowledge, or the
+least hindrance and loathing, swallow down an effectual detestation for
+vice; so that he will find himself at once delighted and reformed, in
+consequence of an art which is known to few. There are many authors, who
+not knowing how to blend and mix instruction with delight, have seen all
+their tedious labours miscarry; because, not being able to imitate
+Diogenes, as a learned philosopher, they have presumed licentiously, not
+to say obscurely, to mimick him as a cynic, giving ear to slander, and
+inventing things that never happened, by which means they enlarge the
+vicious capacity of those whom their harsh reproofs stigmatize; and,
+perhaps, strike out new paths of lewdness hitherto unknown; so that
+instead of reformers, they become teachers and abettors of vice. In this
+manner they grow hateful to men of sense, and lose all their credit, if
+they had any, with the people, who refuse to encourage their writings;
+while the vicious are rather hardened than amended by their rash and
+imprudent corruption; for the knife and caustick are not proper for all
+kinds of tumours, some of which are more successfully treated by soft
+and gentle remedies, by the application of which, the experienced and
+learned physician often attains his end of discussing them; a period
+much more eligible than that which is obtained by the barbarity of
+steel.
+
+The writings of Miguel de Cervantes have met with a very different
+reception, not only from our nation, but likewise from strangers; who,
+as if he was something miraculous, are inflamed with the desire of
+seeing the author of those books which have met with such general
+applause, on account of the decency and decorum, as well as the
+agreeable sweetness of his stile, in Spain, France, Italy, Germany, and
+Flanders. This I can with great truth affirm, that on the twentieth and
+fifth day of February, in this year of God, one thousand six hundred and
+fifteen, I attended my master, his grace Don Bernardo de Sandoval y
+Rojas, cardinal archbishop of Toledo, when he returned the visit of the
+French ambassador, who came to treat about a double match betwixt the
+princes and princesses of France and Spain; and several gentlemen of
+that country, belonging to the embassy, who were equally sensible and
+well-bred, as well as lovers of the Belles Lettres, in their
+conversation with me and the other chaplains of the cardinal, desired to
+know what books of genius were in highest esteem among us; I chanced to
+mention this performance, which was then under my examination: but no
+sooner did they hear the name of Miguel de Cervantes, than they began to
+expatiate upon the high esteem in which France and the neighbouring
+kingdoms held his productions; namely, the Galatea, which one of them
+could almost repeat, with the novels, and the first part of Don Quixote.
+Such were the commendations they bestowed upon them, that I offered to
+introduce them to the author, whom they honoured with a thousand
+demonstrations of regard. They were curious to know his age, profession,
+quality, and fortune; and when I found myself obliged to tell them he
+was a soldier and a gentleman, oppressed with poverty and old age; one
+of them replied in these very words: ‘What! does not Spain load such a
+man with riches, and maintain him out of the publick treasury?’——Another
+of those gentlemen, hearing this observation, interposed, saying, with
+great vivacity, ‘If necessity compels him to write, God grant that he
+may never enjoy affluence; but, in being poor, enrich the world with his
+works.’
+
+I believe this will be thought rather too much for a certificate; and
+some will say, that I have even encroached upon the bounds of flattery;
+but the truth of my allegation disproves that suspicion, and acquits me
+of the charge; besides, in this age, adulation is bestowed upon none but
+those who are in a capacity of greasing the fist of the flatterer; who,
+though he praises in fulsome fiction, experts to be rewarded in
+substantial truth.
+
+Madrid, Feb. 27, 1615. THE LICENTIATE MARQUES TORRES.
+
+
+
+
+ THE ORDINARY LICENCE.
+
+
+By order and command of the lords of council, I have caused to be
+examined, the book specified in this petition: which book contains
+nothing to the prejudice of religion or morals; but, on the contrary, is
+fraught with much lawful amusement, blended with moral philosophy;
+wherefore it may be allowed to be printed.
+
+
+Madrid, Nov. 5, 1615. DOCTOR GUTIERREZ DE CETINA.
+
+
+
+
+ APPROBATION.
+
+
+By order and command of the lords of council, I have perused the second
+part of Don Quixote de La Mancha, written by Miguel de Cervantes; a book
+that contains nothing to the prejudice of our holy catholick faith, or
+sound morals; on the contrary, much honest recreation, and agreeable
+amusement, such as the ancients judged not only allowable, but
+convenient for the commonwealth: even the severe Lacedemonians erected a
+statue to the goddess of laughter; and the Thessalians instituted
+festivals to the same power, according to Pausanias, quoted by Vossius,
+lib. ii. _De signis eccles._ cap. 10. for exhilarating the melancholy,
+and raising the dejected spirits; as observed by Tully in his first
+book, _De Legibus_; and by the poet, who says, ‘_Interpone tuis interdum
+gaudia curis._’ Which maxim hath been the guide of this author, who has
+mingled fiction with truth, delight with instruction, and morals with
+pleasantry; disguising the hook of reproof with the bait of sprightly
+entertainment, and fulfilling the sequel of his well-executed scheme, to
+depreciate and expel the books of chivalry, from the mischievous
+contagion of which he hath purged these kingdoms, with admirable
+diligence and dexterity. In short, it is a work worthy of that great
+genius, which is the honour and ornament of our nation, and the envy and
+admiration of strangers. This is my opinion, with submission, &c.
+
+Madrid, March 17, 1615. JOSEPH DE VALDIVIELSO.
+
+
+
+
+ BOOK I.
+
+
+ CHAP. I.
+ OF THE BEHAVIOUR OF THE CURATE AND BARBER,
+ WITH REGARD TO DON QUIXOTE’S INFIRMITY.
+
+
+Cid Hamet Benengeli, in the second part of this history, containing the
+third sally of Don Quixote, relates that the curate and barber forbore
+to visit him for a whole month, that they might not revive and recal to
+his imagination the remembrance of things past; but, during all that
+time, they frequently went to see the housekeeper and niece, on whom
+they laid strong injunctions to cherish the knight with great care and
+tenderness, and treat him with such comfortable food as should be most
+agreeable to his stomach and brain, in which they reasonably supposed
+that his whole disorder lay. The ladies assured them it was their chief
+study, which they would prosecute with all imaginable care and
+satisfaction; for they began to perceive that their master, at certain
+intervals, gave tokens of being in his right wits. This information
+afforded great pleasure to the two friends, who now concluded they had
+acted wisely in bringing him home on the inchanted waggon, as hath been
+recounted in the last chapter of the first part of this sublime and
+punctual history; and determined to pay him a visit, that they might be
+convinced of his amendment, which they deemed almost impossible; though
+they agreed to avoid, with great care, the subject of chivalry, that
+they might run no risk of ripping up the wound so lately closed.
+
+In short, they entered his chamber, and found him sitting upon his bed,
+in a waistcoat of green baize, and a red Toledan night-cap, so meagre,
+shrunk, and withered, that he looked like an Egyptian mummy; he received
+them very courteously, and when they enquired into the state of his
+health, spoke of his indisposition and himself with great judgment and
+elocution. The conversation happening to turn on what is called reasons
+of state, and modes of administration, they amended certain abuses, and
+condemned others, reforming one custom, and banishing another; as if
+each of the three had been a new legislator, a modern Lycurgus, or
+regenerated Solon; and in such a manner did they furbish up the
+common-wealth, that one would have imagined they had committed it to a
+forge, and brought out another quite different from that which they put
+in. Don Quixote spoke on every subject that was handled, with such
+discretion, as actually convinced the two examiners, that he was quite
+sound, and had recovered the right exercise of his judgment; while the
+niece and housekeeper, who were present all the time, thought they could
+never be thankful enough to God, when they heard their master talk so
+sensibly. But the curate altering his first resolution, which was to
+avoid the subject of chivalry, now determined to make an experiment, by
+which he should be thoroughly satisfied, whether the knight’s cure was
+real or imaginary; with this view, he from one thing to another came to
+mention some news from court; and among other pieces of intelligence,
+said he was certainly informed that the Turk had taken the sea, with a
+powerful armament, though his design was not known, nor could it be
+guessed where the expected storm would burst; but that these
+preparations, which keep us almost constantly in arms, had alarmed all
+Christendom; and that his majesty had ordered the coasts of Naples and
+Sicily, with the island of Malta, to be provided against all attempts.
+To this intimation Don Quixote replied, ‘His majesty has acted like a
+most prudent warrior, in providing for the safety of his dominions, that
+the enemy may not find them unprepared; but, if he would take my advice,
+I would furnish him with an expedient, which I believe our sovereign at
+present little thinks of.’
+
+The curate no sooner heard these words, than he said within himself,
+‘Lord have mercy upon thee, poor Don Quixote! if I am not mistaken, thou
+art just going to cast thyself headlong from the highest pinnacle of
+madness, into the profound abyss of thy folly.’ But the barber, who
+immediately adopted the same suspicion, asked the knight what that
+expedient was, which he thought should be put in practice by way of
+prevention; observing, that it was, perhaps, such a scheme as deserved
+to be inserted in the list of those impertinent advices usually offered
+to crowned heads. ‘Mine, Mr. Shaver,’ said Don Quixote, ‘will be
+pertinent, not impertinent.’—‘I don’t say otherwise,’ replied the
+barber; ‘I only made that observation, because experience hath shewn
+that all, or the greatest part of those projects which have been offered
+to his majesty, are either impossible, extravagant, or prejudicial to
+the state.’—‘My scheme,’ answered the knight, ‘is neither impossible nor
+extravagant; but, on the contrary, the most easy, just, brief, and
+expeditious, that ever projector conceived.’—‘Methinks your worship is
+very slow in delivering it, Signior Don Quixote,’ said the priest. ‘I
+should not chuse,’ answered the knight, ‘to have what I say here carried
+by to-morrow morning, to the ears of the lords of the council; by which
+means, another may reap the credit and reward of my labour.’—‘For my own
+part,’ cried the barber, ‘I here give my word, before God! never to
+disclose what your worship shall impart, either to king or knave, or any
+mortal man; an oath I learned in the romance of the Curate, who, in the
+preface, gives the king notice of the robber that stole his hundred
+ducats, and ambling mule.’—‘I am not acquainted with the story,’ said
+Don Quixote, ‘but the oath is a good oath, because I am convinced that
+Mr. Nicholas is an honest man.’—‘Be that as it will,’ replied the
+curate, ‘I will be bound for him, and undertake, that with regard to
+this affair, he shall speak no more than if he was actually dumb, on
+pain of whatever penalty you shall think proper to inflict.’—‘And who
+will be security for you, Mr. Curate?’ said the knight. ‘My profession,’
+answered the priest, ‘by which I am bound to keep secrets.’—‘Body of
+me!’ cried Don Quixote, ‘his majesty has nothing to do, but to issue a
+proclamation, commanding all the knights-errant in Spain to assemble at
+his court, by such a day; and although not more than half a dozen should
+come, among these one may be found, who is alone sufficient to overthrow
+the whole Turkish power. Pray, gentlemen, give attention, and take me
+along with you; is it such a new thing, for a single knight to cut in
+pieces a whole army of two hundred thousand men, as if they had but one
+common throat, or were made of ginger-bread? How many histories are
+there, think you, filled with such marvellous exploits? Unfortunate it
+is for me, (I will not say, for any other) that the renowned Don
+Belianis is not now alive, or some knight of the innumerable race of
+Amadis de Gaul; for if any one of them was now living, to confront the
+Turks, in good sooth, I should not chuse to farm their conquests; but
+God will provide for his own people, and produce some champion, who, if
+not equal in valour to former knights-errant, at least will be inferior
+to none of them in point of courage[129]; Heaven knows my meaning; I
+will say no more.’—‘Lack-a-day!’ cried the niece, when she heard this
+insinuation, ‘I’ll be hanged, if my uncle is not resolved to turn knight
+errant again.’—‘A knight-errant,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘I will live and
+die; and the Turks may make their descents or ascents, when they will,
+with all the power they are masters of. I say again, Heaven knows my
+meaning.’ Here the barber interposing, ‘Gentlemen,’ said he, ‘I beg you
+will give me leave to tell a short story of what happened at Seville; it
+comes so pat to the purpose, that I have a strong inclination to relate
+it.’ Don Quixote and the curate granted his request, and the rest
+yielded him attention, when he began in these words.
+
+‘There was in the mad-house at Seville, a certain lunatick, whom his
+relations had sent thither on account of the defect in his judgment; he
+had taken his degrees in the canon law, at Ossuna; and many were of
+opinion, that if he had acquired them at Salamanca, he would not have
+been a bit the wiser; this graduate, having been confined some years,
+took it in his head, that he was quite well, and restored to his right
+wits; and in this imagination, wrote to the archbishop, earnestly
+entreating him, with many sensible arguments, to give order that he
+should be extricated from the misery in which he lived; since, through
+the mercy of God, he had recovered his lost judgment, though his
+relations kept him still in confinement, that they might enjoy his
+estate, and, in despite of truth, were resolved that he should be mad to
+the day of his death. The archbishop, persuaded by the many sensible and
+pathetick letters he received, ordered one of his chaplains to go to the
+rector of the mad-house, and enquire into the truth of what the
+licentiate alledged, and even to talk with himself, that, if he should
+find him quite recovered, he might bring him away, and set him at
+liberty. The chaplain obeyed the command of his grace, and the rector
+assured him that the man was still mad; for although he would very often
+talk like a person of excellent understanding, at the long run he
+commonly broke out into folly and nonsense, as absurd as the first part
+of his discourse was rational and discreet; however, he himself might
+make the experiment, by conversing with the licentiate. The chaplain
+accordingly went to his apartment, and talked with him a whole hour and
+more, during which time the lunatick did not utter one vague or
+incoherent sentence; but, on the contrary, spoke so judiciously, that
+the chaplain could not help believing him quite sound of intellect;
+among other things, he told him the rector was his enemy, and pronounced
+him still distracted, though with lucid intervals, that he might not
+lose the presents which he received from his relations; so that the
+greatest cause of his misfortune was no other than his own affluent
+estate, which to enjoy, his adversaries craftily pretended to doubt of
+the mercy which the Lord had vouchsafed him, in re-converting him from a
+beast into a man; in short, he talked so effectually as to render the
+rector suspected, to prove his relations covetous and unnatural, and
+himself so discreet, that the chaplain determined to carry him forthwith
+to the archbishop, that his grace might be personally satisfied of the
+truth. With this laudable intention, he desired the rector to order the
+licentiate to be dressed with the cloaths in which he entered the house:
+the rector again advised him to consider what he was about; for the
+licentiate was, without all question, still distracted. But these
+cautions and counsels had no effect in dissuading the chaplain from
+carrying him off, and the rector seeing the archbishop’s order, was
+obliged to obey; so that the licentiate received his own cloaths, which
+were decent and new. Seeing himself thus diverted of the badge of his
+disorder, and habited again like a person of sound intellects, he
+besought the chaplain, that he would be so charitable as to allow him to
+go and take leave of his companions in affliction; the other granted his
+request, and said he would accompany him, in order to see the patients;
+upon which they went up stairs, followed by several persons who chanced
+to be then present. The licentiate, going to the gate of a cell, in
+which there was a furious madman, though at that time he was calm and
+quiet, said to him, “Brother, have you any commands for me? I am going
+to my own house, for God of his infinite goodness and mercy, without any
+desert of mine, hath been pleased to restore unto me the use of my
+reason, and I am now perfectly recovered; so that there is nothing
+impossible to the power of the Almighty; put, therefore, your hope and
+trust in him, who, as he hath restored me to my former state, will grant
+the same indulgence to you, if you confide in his protection. I will
+take care to send you some cordial food, and be sure, at all events, to
+eat it; for, you must know, I conclude from experience, that all our
+disorder proceeds from an empty stomach, and the brain’s being filled
+with wind. Take heart, brother, take heart; for despondence under
+misfortune consumes the constitution, and hastens the stroke of death.”
+This discourse being overheard by another lunatick, who was confined in
+a cell opposite to that of the furious patient, he started up stark
+naked from an old mat on which he lay, and roared aloud, “Who is that
+going away so sober and so sound?” The licentiate replied, “’Tis I,
+brother, who am going home, being under no necessity of tarrying longer
+in this place; thanks be to Heaven for the signal favour I have
+received!”—“Take care what you say, Mr. Licentiate, and let not the
+devil deceive you,” answered the madman: “halt a little, stay where you
+are, and spare yourself the trouble of being brought back.”—“I know that
+I am perfectly recovered,” said the licentiate, “and shall, have no
+farther occasion to visit the Stations[130].”—“You recovered!” cried the
+other, “good! we shall see—adieu—but, I swear by Jupiter, whose majesty
+I represent on earth, that, for the transgression this day committed in
+Seville, by discharging you from the house, as a person of sound
+judgment, I will take such vengeance as shall be a monument of wrath for
+ever and ever, amen. Do’st thou not know, pitiful licentiate, that all
+this is in my power, being, as I have already observed, Jove the
+thunderer, who wield the flaming bolts, with which I use to threaten,
+and can destroy the universe? But with one evil only will I chastise
+this ignorant people; I will not suffer one drop of rain to fall upon
+the city, nor its confines, nor indeed in any part of this district, for
+the space of three whole years, reckoning from the day and minute in
+which this dreadful menace is made. Thou free! thou sound! thou
+recovered! and I mad! I distracted and confined! I will sooner hang
+myself than rain one spoonful.” The by-standers were very attentive to
+the vociferous exclamations of this madman, when our licentiate turning
+to the chaplain, and taking him by the hand, said, “Dear Sir, give
+yourself no uneasiness or concern about what he says; for if he who is
+Jupiter, witholds refreshing showers from the earth, I who am Neptune,
+the father and god of waters, will rain as often as I please, should
+there be occasion for it, in consequence of the privilege I possess.” To
+this promise the chaplain replied, “Nevertheless, Signior Neptune, it
+will not be politick to incense Signior Jupiter; therefore, your worship
+will be so good as to stay where you are, till some other day, when we
+may have more leisure and convenience to remove you.” The rector and the
+rest of the company could not help laughing, the chaplain was out of
+countenance, the licentiate was stripped, and sent back to his cell; and
+so ends my story.’
+
+‘And this is the story, Mr. Barber,’ said Don Quixote, ‘which came so
+pat to the purpose, that you could not help relating it? Ah, Mr. Shaver!
+Mr. Shaver! he must be blind indeed, that cannot see through the bottom
+of a sieve. Is it possible your worship does not know that comparisons
+in point of genius, virtue, beauty, and descent, are always odious and
+ill received? I, Mr. Barber, am not Neptune, god of waters; neither do I
+set up for being thought a wise man, knowing that I am not so: the sole
+end of my labours is to convince the world of its error, in not seeking
+to renew those most happy times when the order of knight-errantry
+exerted itself in full perfection; but this depraved age of ours is
+unworthy of tasting that felicity which was enjoyed by those ages, when
+knights-errant undertook the charge, and burdened their shoulders with
+the defence of kingdoms, the protection of damsels, the relief of wards
+and orphans, the chastisement of the proud, and the promotion of the
+humble. The greatest part of your modern knights rustle in damasks,
+brocades, and other rich and splendid attire, instead of rattling in
+coats of mail; no knight now sleeps in the open field, exposed to the
+inclemency of the weather, armed at all points cap-a-pee; no warrior, in
+this degenerate age, sits on horseback, and without disengaging his feet
+from the stirrups, but leaning upon his lance, endeavours to take as it
+were a snatch of sleep, after the example of former knights-errant; no
+champion, now-a-days, coming out of some dreary wood, immediately enters
+another rocky wilderness, through which he reaches the barren and
+deserted coast of the rough and stormy sea, where, finding in some
+creek, a crazy boat without oars, sails, mast, or tackle, he intrepidly
+throws himself into it, and launches out upon the implacable billows
+that whirl him aloft to heaven, and then sink him to the profound abyss,
+while his unshaken soul defies the storm; then, when he dreams of no
+such matter, he finds himself three thousand leagues and more from the
+place where he embarked, and leaping ashore on some remote and unknown
+country, achieves adventures worthy to be written, not on parchment, but
+on brass. But now sloth triumphs over activity, idleness over toil, vice
+over virtue, arrogance over valour, and the theory over the practice of
+arms, which obtained and shone resplendent in those golden ages that
+produced knights-errant. Pray, tell me, who could be more honourable and
+valiant than the famous Amadis de Gaul? who more discreet than Palmerin
+of England? who more insinuating and pliant than Tirante the White? who
+more gallant than Lifuarte of Greece? who more hacked and hacking than
+Don Belianis? who more intrepid than Perion of Gaul? or, who more daring
+than Felixmarte of Hircania? who more sincere than Esplandian? who more
+desperate than Cirongilio of Thrace? who more brave than Rodamont? who
+more prudent than King Sobrino? who more bold than Reynaldo? who more
+invincible than Roldan? and who more gallant and courteous than Rugero?
+from whom (according to Turpin, in his Cosmographia) the present Dukes
+of Ferrara are descended. All these, with many more which I could name,
+Mr. Curate, were knights-errant, and the very light and glory of
+chivalry; these, or such as these, are the champions proposed by my
+scheme, which, should it take place, would effectually serve his
+majesty’s purpose, spare an infinite expence, and the Turk would even
+tear his own beard in despair; in that case I would tarry where I am,
+since the chaplain would not think fit to enlarge me; and if Jupiter, as
+the barber said, would not rain, here am I ready to frustrate his
+intent; this I mention, that Mr. Bason, there, may know I understand his
+meaning.’—‘Verily, Signior Don Quixote,’ said Mr. Nicholas, ‘I meant no
+harm, so help me God! my intention was good, and therefore your worship
+ought not to be displeased.’—‘Whether I am displeased or not,’ replied
+the knight, ‘I myself know best.’
+
+Here the curate interposing, said, ‘Though I have hitherto scarce opened
+my mouth, I cannot be easy under a scruple which tears and gnaws my
+conscience, and which arose from what Signior Don Quixote hath just now
+asserted.’—‘In greater matters, Mr. Curate may command me,’ answered the
+knight; ‘out with your scruple, then; for scruples of conscience are
+very uncomfortable companions.’—‘With your good permission,’ replied the
+priest, ‘this it is: I can by no means persuade myself that the whole
+tribe of knights-errant, whom your worship have named, were really and
+truly earthly persons of flesh and blood; on the contrary, I imagine all
+these things are fictions, fables, and lying dreams, recounted by men
+who are awake, or rather by those who are half asleep.’—‘That,’ said Don
+Quixote, ‘is another error incident to many people, who do not believe
+that any such knights ever existed; and I have, on divers and sundry
+occasions, endeavoured to dissipate that almost general mistake by the
+light of truth. Sometimes, indeed, I have not succeeded in my attempts;
+however, I have frequently gained my point, by supporting it on the
+shoulders of demonstration; and truly the case is so clear, that I could
+almost affirm I have with my own eyes beheld Amadis de Gaul, who was a
+tall man, of a fair complexion, well furnished with a black beard, his
+aspect something between mild and severe, concise of speech, slow to
+anger, and soon appeased. In the same manner, methinks, I could
+delineate and paint all the knights-errant that ever were recorded in
+history; for, according to the ideas formed by reading these histories,
+and by comparing their exploits and dispositions, sound philosophy may
+discover their lineaments, statures, and complexions.’—‘Signior Don
+Quixote,’ said the barber, ‘how large do you think the giant Morgante
+must have been?’—‘As to the affair of giants,’ answered the knight,
+‘there are different opinions; some affirming, and others denying, the
+existence of any such beings: but the Holy Scriptures, which surely
+cannot fail one atom in point of truth, put that affair beyond all
+dispute, in relating the story of that Philistine Goliath, who was seven
+cubits and an half in height; a most amazing stature! Besides, in the
+island of Sicily, several thigh and shoulder-bones have been dug up, so
+large as to manifest, that the persons to whom they belonged must have
+been huge giants, as tall as high towers; and this can be proved by
+mathematical demonstration; but, nevertheless, I will not pretend to
+ascertain the size of Morgante; though I believe he was not very tall,
+because I find in the history which gives a particular account of his
+exploits, that he often slept under a roof: now, if there was any house
+capacious enough to receive him, his magnitude could not be very
+extraordinary.’—‘No, surely,’ said the curate: who, being diverted with
+his extravagant assertions, asked his opinion concerning the looks and
+persons of Reynaldo de Montalban, Don Orlando, and the rest of the
+Twelve Peers of France, who were all knights-errant. ‘With regard to
+Reynaldo,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘I will venture to say, he was broad
+visaged, and of a ruddy complexion, with large rolling eyes, full of
+punctilio, excessively cholerick, and a friend to robbers and vagabonds.
+As for Roldan, or Rotolando, or Orlando, (for he is mentioned in history
+by all these names) it is my opinion, and I affirm, that he was of a
+middling stature, broad-shouldered, somewhat bandy-legged, of a dark
+complexion and carrotty beard, hairy all over, with a frowning aspect,
+sparing of speech, though very affable and well bred.’—‘If Roldan was
+not more comely than you have represented him,’ replied the curate, ‘I
+do not wonder that Angelica the Fair disdained and deserted him, for the
+gallantry, mirth, and pleasantry of the little smock-faced Moor, to
+whose embraces she yielded; and, surely, she was in the right, to prefer
+the smoothness of Medoro to the roughness of Roldan.’—‘That same
+Angelica, Mr. Curate,’ said the knight, ‘was an unsettled rambling young
+woman, that longed after novelties, and left the world as full of her
+impertinent actions as of the fame of her beauty. She undervalued a
+thousand noblemen, a thousand valiant and discreet admirers, and
+contented herself with a yellow haired page, who had neither fortune nor
+reputation, but that of being grateful to his friend. The renowned
+Ariosto, who sung the praises of her beauty, either not daring or not
+designing to rehearse what happened to her after her base intrigue,
+because he deemed it a theme not extremely honourable for his muse,
+dropped her at these lines:
+
+ ‘“Another bard may sing, in loftier lay,
+ How he obtain’d the sceptre of Cathay.”
+
+‘And truly this was a sort of prophecy, for the poets are also called
+_vates_, which in Latin signifies _diviners_, and it was plainly
+verified in the event, an Andalusian bard having since that time sung in
+verse her tears and lamentation, as the most famous and sublime genius
+of Castile hath celebrated her beauty.’
+
+‘Pray tell me, Signior Don Quixote,’ said the barber, ‘among all those
+authors who have written in her praise, hath not some one or other
+composed a satire against my Lady Angelica?’—‘I firmly believe,’ replied
+the knight, ‘that if Sacripante or Roldan had been bards, they would
+have made the damsel smart severely, it being natural and peculiar to
+poets, who are disdained and rejected by their false mistresses, whether
+real or imaginary, to revenge themselves by satires and lampoons; a
+resentment altogether unworthy of generous breasts; but hitherto I have
+not met with any such defamatory verses against the Lady Angelica,
+though she made strange confusion in the world.’—‘That is a wonder,
+indeed!’ said the curate.—When hearing the housekeeper and niece, who
+had some time before quitted the company, bawling aloud in the yard,
+they ran out to see what was the occasion of such noise.
+
+Footnote 129:
+
+ Ridiculous as this scheme may seem to be, such an expedient has
+ actually succeeded in practice. During the captivity of John King of
+ France, his dominions were ravaged by above one hundred thousand
+ peasants, who, under the name of Jacquieers, assembled in arms to
+ exterminate the noblesse; and among other horrid outrages, murdered
+ every gentleman that fell in their way. The Duchess of Normandy and
+ Orleans, together with three hundred ladies of rank, retired for
+ protection to Meaux, where they were surrounded, and would have
+ actually perished by the swords of these banditti, had they not been
+ rescued by the Count de Foix, and the captal of Buch; who, hearing of
+ their distress, hastened to their relief with no more than sixty
+ knights; and, without hesitation, attacked that furious multitude with
+ such bravery and vigour, that they were soon routed and dispersed.
+
+Footnote 130:
+
+ A certain number of churches through which they made circuits,
+ uttering an appointed prayer at each.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. II.
+ THE NOTABLE FRAY THAT HAPPENED
+ BETWEEN SANCHO AND DON QUIXOTE’S NIECE AND HOUSEKEEPER—WITH OTHER
+ DIVERTING INCIDENTS.
+
+
+The history relates, that the noise which Don Quixote, the curate, and
+barber heard, was occasioned by the niece and housekeeper scolding at
+Sancho, who struggled to get in and see his master, while they defended
+the door. ‘What does the swag-bellied lurcher want in this house?’ said
+the housekeeper: ‘get you home, brother; it was you, and none but you,
+that turned my poor master’s brain, enticing him from his own home, to
+stroll about the highways.’ To this apostrophe Sancho replied,
+‘Housekeeper of Satan! ’tis my brain that’s turned; ’twas I that was
+enticed to stroll about the highways, and not thy master, for he carried
+me a rambling; so that you have reckoned without your host. ’Twas he
+that wheedled me from my own house, with the promise of an island, which
+I expect to this good hour.’—‘Devil choak thee with islands, thou cursed
+cormorant!’ cried the niece: ‘and pray what is an island; is it any
+thing to eat, thou gorbellied glutton, ha?’—‘No, not to eat, but to
+govern,’ answered Sancho, ‘and a fat government it is. Better than four
+cities, or the places of any four of the king’s alcades.’—‘Be that as it
+will,’ said the housekeeper, ‘thou shan’t set foot in this house, thou
+bag of mischief, and bundle of malice! go and look after thy own family,
+fatten thy hogs, and let us hear no more of these islands or oil-lands.’
+
+The curate and barber were highly entertained with this dialogue; but
+Don Quixote fearing that Sancho would open his budget, and disburden
+himself of some mischievous load of folly, by blabbing things not much
+to his credit, called him in, bidding the women hold their tongues, and
+give him entrance. Sancho being accordingly admitted, the curate and
+barber took their leave of Don Quixote, whose recovery they despaired
+of, seeing him so unalterably fixed in his folly, and so wholly
+possessed with the frantick spirit of knight-errantry. ‘You shall see,
+neighbour,’ said the curate to the barber, ‘that when we least think of
+it, this poor gentleman will make another sally.’—‘That I make no doubt
+of,’ answered the barber, ‘but I don’t wonder so much at the madness of
+the knight, as at the simplicity of the squire, who believes so devoutly
+in this island, that I think all the invention of man could not extract
+it from his skull.’—‘God mend them!’ replied the curate: ‘meanwhile, let
+us keep a strict eye over their behaviour, and observe the operation of
+their joint extravagance; for the madness of the master seems to have
+been cast in the same mould with the foolishness of the man, and in my
+opinion, the one without the other would not be worth a
+farthing.’—‘True,’ said the barber; ‘and I should be glad to know what
+they are now talking of.’—‘I dare say,’ replied the curate, ‘the niece
+and house-keeper will give us a good account of their conversation; for
+they are none of those who can resist the opportunity of listening.’
+
+In the mean time, Don Quixote having shut himself up in his apartment
+with Sancho, said, ‘It gives me much concern, Sancho, to hear thee say,
+as thou dost, that I enticed thee from thy cottage, when thou knowest
+that I, at the same time, quitted my own house; together we set out,
+lived and travelled together; sharing the same fortune and the same
+fate. If thou hast been once tossed in a blanket, I have been bruised an
+hundred times; and this is the only pre-eminence I enjoyed.’—‘And that’s
+but reasonable,’ replied Sancho, ‘according to your worship’s own
+remark, that misfortune belongs more to knights-errant than to their
+squires.’—‘There you are mistaken, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote; ‘for the
+Latin adage says, _Quando caput dolet, &c._’—‘Nay,’ quoth Sancho, ‘I
+understand no lingo but my mother-tongue.’—‘The meaning,’ said the
+master, ‘is, When the head aches, all the members are affected. I,
+therefore, as thy lord and master, am thy head, and thou, as my servant,
+are a part of me; so that whatever mischief has happened, or may happen
+to me, ought to extend to thee likewise, in the same manner as I bear a
+share in all thy sufferings.’—‘So it ought to be,’ said Sancho, ‘but
+when I, as a member, was tossed in a blanket, my head sat peaceably on
+the other side of the wall, and beheld me vaulting in the air, without
+feeling the least uneasiness; and since the members are obliged to ache
+with the head, I think it is but just that the head should ache with the
+members.’—‘How canst thou affirm, Sancho,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘that I
+felt no pain while thou was tossed in the blanket? Say, or think so no
+more; for I was, at that time, more afflicted in mind than thou in body.
+
+‘But let us wave this subject for the present, and time will, no doubt,
+offer an opportunity of considering it more maturely, and of setting
+every thing to rights: and tell me, friend Sancho, how I am spoke of in
+this place? What say the vulgar? What character do I bear among the
+gentry? and how am I treated by the knights? What is their opinion of my
+valour, exploits, and courteous behaviour? and how do they relish the
+design I have undertaken of raising and restoring to the world the
+long-forgotten order of knight-errantry? In short, Sancho, I desire that
+thou wilt inform me of every thing thou hast heard on this subject,
+without adding to the good, or subtracting from the evil; it being the
+duty of faithful servants to represent the truth to their masters in its
+own native form, neither exaggerated by adulation, nor diminished by any
+other vain respect: and let me tell thee, Sancho, if the naked truth was
+always conveyed to the ears of princes, undisguised by flattery, we
+should see better days, and other æras would deserve the name of the
+iron age more than the present, which would be justly looked upon as the
+age of gold. Remember this advice, Sancho, and inform me with honesty
+and discretion, of all that thou knowest in regard to what I have
+asked.’—‘That I will with all my heart, Sir,’ answered Sancho, ‘on
+condition that your worship won’t be offended with the truth, since you
+desire to see it in its nakedness, just as it came to my knowledge.’—‘I
+shall not be offended in the least,’ replied Don Quixote: ‘speak
+therefore freely, without going about the bush.’
+
+‘Well, then,’ said the squire, ‘in the first place, you must know that
+the common people think your worship a stark-staring madman, and me a
+most notorious fool: the better sort say, that, scorning the rank of a
+private gentleman, you have put Don before your name, and dubbed
+yourself knight, with a small garden, a few acres of land, and a doublet
+clouted on both sides. The knights, forsooth, are affronted that your
+small gentry should pretend to vie with them, especially those needy
+squires who sole their own shoes, and darn their black hose with green
+silk.’—‘That observation,’ said Don Quixote, ‘cannot affect me; for I
+always wear good cloaths, and never appear patched. My doublet may,
+indeed, be torn, but then it is by my armour, not by time.’—‘Touching
+the valour, courtesy, adventures, and design of your worship,’ said
+Sancho, ‘there are different opinions. Some say, he is mad, but a
+diverting madman; others allow that he is valiant, but unlucky; a third
+set observe that he is courteous, but impertinent; and in this manner we
+are handled so severely, that neither your worship nor I have a whole
+bone left.’—‘You see, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘that whenever virtue
+shines in an eminent degree, she always meets with persecution. Few or
+none of the celebrated heroes of antiquity could escape the calumnies of
+malice: Julius Cæsar, a most daring, wise, and valiant general, was
+accused of being ambitious, and not over-cleanly in his customs or
+apparel; Alexander, who by his atchievements acquired the name of Great,
+was said to be a drunkard; and Hercules, renowned for his labours,
+reported to have been lewd and effeminate; Don Galaor, brother of Amadis
+de Gaul, was grumbled at for being excessively quarrelsome; and Amadis
+himself ridiculed as an arrant whiner. Therefore, son Sancho, among so
+many aspersions thrown upon such great men, I may well overlook what is
+said against me; since it is no worse than what thou hast
+repeated.’—‘That’s the very thing, body of my father!’ replied Sancho.
+‘What, is there any thing more!’ said his master. ‘More!’ cried the
+squire, ‘the tail is yet unfleaed. What you have heard is but cakes and
+gingerbread; but, if your worship would know all the backbitings we
+suffer, I will this moment bring hither one who can inform you of every
+circumstance, without losing a crumb; for, last night, the son of
+Bartholomew Carrasco arrived from Salamanca, where he has been at his
+studies, and got a batchelor’s degree; and when I went to welcome him
+home, he told me there was a printed book of your worship’s history, in
+which you go by the name of The Ingenious Squire Don Quixote de La
+Mancha; and that I am mentioned in it by my own name of Sancho Panza, as
+well as my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso, with other things that passed
+between you and me only; at hearing of which I crossed myself through
+fear, wondering how they should come to the knowledge of the
+historian.’—‘You may depend upon it, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘the
+author of our history must be some sage inchanter; for nothing is hid
+from writers of that class.’—‘How can he be a sage inchanter,’ said
+Sancho, ‘when batchelor Sampson Carrasco (for that’s the name of him who
+told me) says the author of our history is called Cid Hamet
+Bean-and-jelly?’—‘That name is Moorish,’ replied Don Quixote. ‘Very
+like,’ said the squire; ‘for I have often heard, that the Moors are very
+fond of beans and jellies.’—‘Thou must certainly be mistaken, Sancho,’
+said Don Quixote, ‘in the surname of that Cid, which, in Arabick,
+signifies Signior.’—‘Very possible,’ answered the squire; ‘but if your
+worship desires to see the batchelor, I will bring him hither in a
+twinkling.’—‘Thou wilt oblige me very much, my friend,’ said Don
+Quixote; ‘for what thou hast told me has bred such doubts and suspense
+within me, that I cannot eat a morsel with any satisfaction, until I am
+informed of the whole affair.’—‘Then I’ll go seek him,’ replied Sancho:
+who, leaving his master, went in quest of the batchelor, with whom he
+returned in a little time, and a most pleasant dialogue ensued.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. III.
+ THE LUDICROUS CONVERSATION THAT PASSED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE, SANCHO
+ PANZA, AND THE BATCHELOR SAMPSON CARRASCO.
+
+
+Don Quixote remained extremely pensive, in expectation of the Batchelor
+Sampson Carrasco, from whom he hoped to hear news of himself, in print,
+according to Sancho’s information; though he could hardly persuade
+himself that there could be such a history extant; the blood of his
+enemies whom he had slain, being scarce, as yet, dry upon the blade of
+his sword, and yet they would have his high atchievements already
+recorded in printed books. He therefore imagined that some sage, either
+friend or foe, had cast them off, by the power of inchantment: if a
+friend, in order to aggrandize and extol them above the most
+distinguished exploits of knight-errantry; if an enemy, to annihilate
+and depress them beneath the meanest actions that ever were recorded of
+any squire. ‘Although,’ said he, within himself, ‘the deeds of squires
+are never committed to writing; and if my history actually exists,
+seeing it treats of a knight-errant, it must, of necessity, be pompous,
+sublime, surprizing, magnificent, and true.’ This reflection consoled
+him a little; but he became uneasy again, when he recollected that his
+author was a Moor, as appeared by the name of Cid; and that no truth was
+to be expected from that people, who are all false, deceitful, and
+chimerical. He was afraid that his amours were treated with some
+indecency, that might impair and prejudice the honour of his Lady
+Dulcinea del Toboso, wishing for nothing more than a true representation
+of his fidelity, and the decorum he always preserved, in refusing
+queens, empresses, and damsels of all ranks, thus keeping the impulse of
+his passions under the rein. Tossed, therefore, and fluctuating on these
+and many other fancies, he was found by Sancho and Carrasco, whom the
+knight received with great courtesy.
+
+The batchelor, though his name was Sampson, was not very big, but a
+great wag, of a pale complexion and excellent understanding; he was
+about the age of four and twenty; had a round visage, flat nose, and
+capacious mouth, all symptoms of a mischievous disposition, addicted to
+jokes and raillery; as appeared when he approached Don Quixote, before
+whom he fell upon his knees, saying, ‘Permit me to kiss your most
+puissant hand, Signior Don Quixote de La Mancha; for by the habit of St.
+Peter, which I wear, though I have received no other orders than the
+first four, your worship is one of the most famous knights-errant that
+ever were, or ever will be, within the circumference of the globe!
+Blessed be Cid Hamet Benengeli, who wrote the history of your greatness!
+and thrice blessed that curious person who took care to have it
+translated from the Arabick into our mother-tongue, for the
+entertainment of mankind!’ Don Quixote, raising him up, said, ‘’Tis
+true, then, that there is a history of me, and that the sage who
+composed it is a Moor.’—‘So true, Signior,’ said Sampson, ‘that, to my
+certain knowledge, there are twelve thousand volumes of it this day in
+print; let Portugal, Barcelona, and Valencia, where they were printed,
+contradict me if they can. It is even reported to be now in the press at
+Antwerp; and I can easily perceive, that there is scarce a nation or
+language into which it will not be translated.’—‘One of the things,’
+said Don Quixote on this occasion, ‘which ought to afford the greatest
+satisfaction to a virtuous and eminent man, is to live and see himself
+celebrated in different languages, and his actions recorded in print,
+with universal approbation; I say, with approbation; because, to be
+represented otherwise, is worse than the worst of deaths.’—‘In point of
+reputation and renown,’ said the batchelor, ‘your worship alone bears
+away the palm from all other knights-errant; for the Moor in Arabick,
+and the Christian in his language, have been careful in painting the
+gallantry of your worship to the life; your vast courage in encountering
+dangers, your patience in adversity, your fortitude in the midst of
+wounds and mischance, together with the honour and chastity of your
+platonick love for my Lady Donna Dulcinea del Toboso.’
+
+Here Sancho interposing, said, ‘I never heard my lady called Donna
+Dulcinea, but simply the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso; so that there the
+history is wrong.’—‘That is no material objection,’ answered Carrasco.
+‘No, sure,’ replied the knight. ‘But tell me, Mr. Batchelor, which of my
+exploits is most esteemed in this history.’—‘As to that particular,’
+said the batchelor, ‘there are as many different opinions as there are
+different tastes. Some stick to the adventure of the wind-mills, which
+to your worship appeared monstrous giants; others, to that of the
+fulling-mills; this reader, to the description of the two armies, which
+were afterwards metamorphosed into flocks of sheep; while another
+magnifies that of the dead body, which was carrying to the place of
+interment at Segovia: one says, that the deliverance of the
+galley-slaves excels all the rest; and a second affirms, that none of
+them equals the adventure of the Benedictine giants, and your battle
+with the valiant Biscayner.’
+
+Here Sancho interrupting him again, said, ‘Tell me, Mr. Batchelor, is
+the adventure of the Yanguesians mentioned, when our modest Rozinante
+longed for green peas in December[131].’—‘Nothing,’ replied Sampson,
+‘has escaped the pen of the sage author, who relates every thing most
+minutely, even to the capers which honest Sancho cut in the blanket.’—‘I
+cut no capers in the blanket,’ answered Sancho; ‘but in the air, I grant
+you, I performed more than I desired.’—‘In my opinion,’ said Don
+Quixote, ‘there is no human history that does not contain reverses of
+fortune, especially those that treat of chivalry, which cannot always be
+attended with success.’—‘Nevertheless,’ resumed the batchelor, ‘some who
+have read your history, say they should not have been sorry, had the
+author forgot a few of those infinite drubbings which, in different
+encounters, were bestowed on the great Don Quixote.’—‘But in this
+consists the truth of history,’ said the squire.
+
+Don Quixote observed, that they might as well have omitted them; for
+those incidents, which neither change nor affect the truth of the story,
+ought to be left out, if they tend to depreciate the chief character.
+‘Take my word for it,’ said he, ‘Æneas was not so pious as Virgil
+represents him, nor Ulysses so prudent as he is exhibited by
+Homer,’—‘True,’ said Sampson; ‘but it is one thing to compose as a poet,
+and another to record as an historian: the poet may relate or rehearse
+things, not as they were, but as they ought to have been; whereas an
+historian must transmit them, not as they ought to have been, but
+exactly as they were; without adding to, or subtracting the least tittle
+from the truth.’—‘Since this Moorish gentleman has told all the truth,’
+said Sancho, ‘I don’t doubt that, among the drubbings of my master, he
+has mentioned mine also; for they never took the measure of his
+shoulders, without crossing my whole body: but at this I ought not to
+wonder, since, as he observes, when the head aches, the members ought to
+have their share of the pain.’—‘You are a sly rogue, Sancho,’ replied
+Don Quixote; ‘and I find you don’t want memory, when you think proper to
+use it.’—‘If I had all the mind in the world,’ said Sancho, ‘to forget
+the blows I have received, the marks, which are still fresh upon my
+carcase, would by no means allow me.’
+
+‘Hold your peace, Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘and don’t interrupt Mr.
+Batchelor, whom I intreat to proceed; and let me know what more is said
+of me in this same history.’—‘Aye, and of me too,’ cried Sancho; ‘who,
+they say, am one of the principal personages of it.’—‘You mean persons,
+and not personages, friend Sancho,’ said Sampson. ‘What! have we got
+another reprimander of words?’ said the squire; ‘since it is come to
+this, we shall never have done.’—‘Plague light on me! Sancho!’ replied
+the batchelor, ‘if you are not the second person of the history; and
+there are many who would rather hear you speak than the first character
+in the book; though some there be also, who say you are excessively
+credulous, in believing there could be any foundation for the government
+of that island, which was promised to you by Signior Don Quixote, here
+present.’—‘There is no time lost[132],’ said Don Quixote; ‘while thou
+art advancing in years, Sancho, age will bring experience; and then thou
+wilt be more qualified and fit to govern than thou art at
+present.’—‘’Fore God! Sir,’ said Sancho, ‘the island which I cannot
+govern with these years, I shall never govern, were I as old as
+Methusalem: the mischief is, that this same island is delayed I don’t
+know how; not that I want noddle to govern it.’—‘Recommend it, Sancho,’
+said Don Quixote, ‘to the direction of Heaven, which does all for the
+best, and may, perhaps, exceed your expectation; for not a leaf can move
+upon a tree, without the permission of God.’—‘True,’ said Sampson, ‘if
+it be the will of God, Sancho shall not want a thousand islands, much
+less one, to govern.’—‘I have seen governors in my time,’ quoth Sancho,
+‘who, to my thinking, did not come up to the sole of my shoe, and yet
+they were called your lordship, and served in plate.’—‘Those were not
+governors of islands,’ replied Sampson, ‘but of other governments more
+easily managed; for such as govern islands ought at least to have some
+grammatical knowledge.’—‘I know very well how to cram[133],’ said
+Sancho; ‘but as to the matted cawl, I will neither meddle nor make,
+because I don’t understand it; but leaving this government in the hands
+of God, who will dispose of me the best for his own service, I am, Mr.
+Batchelor, Sampson Carrasco, infinitely pleased and rejoiced that the
+author of our history has spoke of me in such a manner as not to give
+offence; for, by the faith of a good squire! if he had said any thing of
+me, that did not become an old Christian, as I am, the deaf should have
+heard of it.’—‘That were a miracle, indeed!’ answered Sampson. ‘Miracle
+or no miracle,’ said Sancho, ‘let every man take care how he speaks or
+writes of honest people, and not set down at a venture the first thing
+that comes into his jolter-head.’
+
+‘One of the faults that are found with the history,’ added the
+batchelor, ‘is, that the author has inserted in it a novel, intitled,
+The Impertinent Curiosity. Not that the thing itself is bad, or poorly
+executed, but because it is unseasonable, and has nothing to do with the
+story of his worship Signior Don Quixote.’—‘I’ll lay a wager,’ cried
+Sancho, ‘that this son of a cur has made a strange hodge-podge of the
+whole.’—‘Now I find,’ said the knight, ‘that the author of my history is
+no sage, but some ignorant prater, who, without either judgment or
+premeditation, has undertaken to write it at random, like Orbaneja the
+painter of Ubeda, who being asked what he painted, answered, “Just as it
+happens;” and when he would sometimes scrawl out a misshapen cock, was
+fain to write under it in Gothick letters, “This is a cock;” and my
+history being of the same kind, will need a commentary to make it
+intelligible.’—‘Not at all,’ answered Sampson, ‘it is already so plain,
+that there is not the least ambiguity in it; the very children handle
+it, boys read it, men understand, and old people applaud it: in short,
+it is so thumbed, so read, so well known by every body, that no sooner a
+meagre horse appears, than they say, “There goes Rozinante!”, but those
+who peruse it most, are your pages; you cannot go into a nobleman’s
+antichamber where you won’t find a Don Quixote, which is no sooner laid
+down by one, than another takes it up, some struggling, and some
+intreating for a sight of it; in fine, this history is the most
+delightful and least prejudicial entertainment that ever was seen; for
+in the whole book there is not the least shadow of a dishonourable word,
+nor one thought unworthy of a good Catholick.’—‘To write otherwise,’
+said Don Quixote, ‘were not to publish truth, but to propagate lyes; and
+those historians who deal in such, ought to be burnt like coiners of
+false money; but I cannot imagine what induced the author to avail
+himself of novels and stories that did not belong to the subject, when
+he had such a fund of my adventures to relate: he, doubtless, stuck to
+the proverb, So the gizzard is crammed, it matters not how[134]; for
+truly, had he confined himself to the manifestation of my reveries, my
+sighs, my tears, my benevolence, and undertakings, he might have
+compiled a volume larger, or as large, as all the works of Tostatus
+bound together[135]. Really, Mr. Batchelor, according to my
+comprehension, it requires great judgment, and a ripe understanding, to
+compose histories, or indeed any books whatever; for to write with
+elegance and wit, is the province of great geniuses only. The wittiest
+person in the comedy is he that plays the fool; for he must be no
+simpleton who can exhibit a diverting representation of folly. History
+is a sacred subject, because the soul of it is truth; and where truth
+is, there the divinity will reside: yet there are some who compose and
+cast off books, as if they were tossing up a dish of pancakes.’
+
+‘There is no book so bad,’ said the batchelor, ‘but you may find
+something good in it.’—‘Doubtless,’ replied the knight; ‘but it
+frequently happens, that those who have deservedly purchased and
+acquired great reputation by their writings, lose it all, or at least
+forfeit a part of it, in printing them.’—‘The reason,’ said Sampson,
+‘is, that printed works are perused with leisure, consequently their
+faults easily observed; and the greater the reputation of the author is,
+the more severely are they scrutinized: men celebrated for their genius,
+great poets, and illustrious historians, are, for the most part, if not
+always, envied by those whose pleasure and particular entertainment
+consists in criticising the works of others, without having obliged the
+world with any thing of their own.’—‘That is not to be wondered at,’
+said Don Quixote; ‘for there are many theologists who make but a poor
+figure in the pulpit, and yet are excellent in discerning the faults and
+superfluities of those who preach well.’—‘That is all true, Signior Don
+Quixote,’ said Carrasco; ‘and I could wish that those censurers were
+either a little more compassionate, or something less scrupulous, than
+to insist upon such blemishes of the work they decry, as may be compared
+to little spots in the sun, and as _aliquando bonus dormitat Homerus_,
+consider how long the author watched, in order to display the light of
+his performance, with as little shade as possible. Perhaps, too, those
+things which disgust them are no other than moles, that sometimes add to
+the beauty of the face on which they grow; and therefore I affirm, that
+he who publishes a book runs an immense risk; because it is absolutely
+impossible to compose such an one as will please and entertain every
+reader.’—‘I believe few will relish that which treats of me,’ said the
+knight. ‘Quite the contrary,’ answered Sampson; ‘for, as _stultorum
+infinitus est numerus_, the number of those who are delighted with your
+history is infinite; though some accuse the author’s memory as false or
+faulty, because he has forgot to tell who the thief was that stole
+Sancho’s Dapple, of whom there was not a word mentioned: we can only
+infer from the history, that he was stolen; and by-and-by we find the
+squire mounted on the same beast, without knowing how he was retrieved.
+They say, likewise, that he has omitted telling what Sancho did with
+those hundred crowns which he found in the portmanteau, in Sierra
+Morena; and which are never mentioned though many people desire to know
+what use he made of them; and this is one of the chief defects in the
+work.’
+
+‘Mr. Sampson,’ answered the squire, ‘I am not in an humour at present to
+give accounts and reckonings of that affair; for I feel a certain
+qualmishness in my stomach, and if I don’t recruit it with a couple of
+draughts of old stingo, I shall be in most grievous taking[136]; I have
+the cordial at home, and my dame waits for me; but when I have filled my
+belly, I will return and satisfy your worship, and all the world, in
+whatever they shall desire to ask, both with regard to the loss of my
+beast, and the spending of the hundred crowns.’ So, without expecting a
+reply, or speaking another word, he hied him home, while Don Quixote
+desired and intreated the batchelor to stay and do penance with him. The
+batchelor accepted the invitation, and stayed; a pair of pigeons was
+added to the knight’s ordinary; he talked of nothing but chivalry at
+table, and Carrasco encouraged the discourse. The repast ended, they
+took their afternoon’s nap, Sancho returned, and the former conversation
+was renewed.
+
+Footnote 131:
+
+ _Pedir cotufas en el golfo_, signifies to look for tartuffles in the
+ sea; a proverb applicable to those who are too sanguine in their
+ expectations, and unreasonable in their desires.
+
+Footnote 132:
+
+ _Aun ay sol en las bardas._ There is still sun-shine on the wall, i.
+ e. It is not yet too late.
+
+Footnote 133:
+
+ Finding it impossible to translate the original pun or blunder, I have
+ substituted another in its room, on the word Grammatical, which I
+ think has at least an equally good effect.
+
+Footnote 134:
+
+ The original is, ‘_De paja, y di beno, el jergonelleno_;’ i. e. ‘The
+ bed is filled, though it be with hay and straw.’
+
+Footnote 135:
+
+ Alphonsus Tostatus, bishop of Avila, was said to have known every
+ thing that could be known. He made a figure at the council of Basil;
+ wrote twenty-seven volumes; and dying in the fortieth year of his age,
+ was interred in the church of Avila, with this epitaph:——_Hic stupor
+ est mundi, qui scibile discutit omne._
+
+Footnote 136:
+
+ In Spanish, _Me pondra en la espina de Santa Lucia_; i. e. ‘Will put
+ me on St. Lucia’s thorn:’ applicable to any uneasy situation.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IV.
+ IN WHICH SANCHO PANZA SATISFIES THE DOUBTS,
+ AND ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS OF BATCHELOR SAMPSON CARRASCO;
+ WITH OTHER INCIDENTS WORTHY TO BE RECITED AND KNOWN.
+
+
+Sancho returning to his master’s house, resumed the former conversation,
+to gratify Mr. Sampson, who said he wanted to know when, in what manner,
+and by whom his ass had been stolen; ‘You must know, then,’ said he,
+‘that very night we fled from the holy brotherhood, and got into the
+Brown Mountain, after the misventuresome adventure of the galley-slaves,
+and the corpse that was carrying to Segovia, we took up our quarters in
+a thicket, where my master and I, being both fatigued, and sorely
+bruised in the frays we had just finished, went to rest, he leaning upon
+his lance, and I lolling upon Dapple, as if we had been stretched upon
+four feather-beds; I, in particular, slept so sound, that the thief,
+whosoever he was, had an opportunity of coming and propping me up with
+four stakes, fixed under the corner of my pannel, on which I was left
+astride; so that he slipped Dapple from under me, without my perceiving
+it in the least.’—‘And this is no difficult matter, nor new device,’
+said Don Quixote; ‘for the same thing happened to Sacripante at the
+siege of Albraca, where, by this contrivance, his horse was stolen from
+between his legs by the famous robber Brunelo[137].’—‘When morning
+came,’ proceeded Sancho, ‘I no sooner began to stretch myself, than the
+stakes gave way, and down I came to the ground with a vengeance; I
+looked for my beast, and finding he was gone, the tears gushed from my
+eyes, and I set up a lamentation, which, if the author of our history
+has not set down, you may depend upon it, he hath neglected a very
+excellent circumstance; a good many days after this mischance, as I
+chanced to be travelling with my lady the Princess Micomicona, descrying
+a person riding towards me in the habit of a gypsy, I immediately knew
+my own ass, and discovered the rider to be Gines de Passamonte, that
+impostor and notorious malefactor, whom my master and I delivered from
+the galley-chain.’
+
+‘The error lies not in that part of the history,’ replied the batchelor,
+‘but consists in the author’s saying that Sancho rode on the same ass,
+before it appears that he had retrieved him.’—‘As so that affair,’ said
+the squire, ‘I can give you no satisfactory answer; perhaps it was an
+oversight in the historian, or owing to the carelessness of the
+printer.’—‘Doubtless it was so,’ replied Sampson; ‘but what became of
+those hundred crowns? were they laid up or laid out?’—‘I laid them out,’
+answered Sancho, ‘in necessaries for my own person, my wife, and
+children; and those crowns were the cause of my gossip’s bearing
+patiently my ramblings and rovings in the service of my lord and master
+Don Quixote; for if, after such a long absence, I had come home without
+my ass, and never a cross in my pocket, I might have expected a welcome
+the wrong way. Now, if you have any thing else to ask, here I am ready
+to answer the king in person; and it matters not to any person, whether
+I did or did not bring them home, or whether I spent them or lent them;
+for if the blows I have received in our peregrinations were to be repaid
+with money, rated at no more than four maravedis a piece, another
+hundred crowns would not quit one half of the score; therefore, let
+every man lay his hand upon his heart, and not pretend to mistake an
+hawk for a hand-saw[138]; for we are all as God made us, and a great
+many of us much worse.’
+
+‘I will take care,’ said Carrasco, ‘to apprize the author of the
+history, that if it should come to another edition, he may not forget to
+insert what honest Sancho observes, as it will not a little contribute
+to raise the value of the work.’—‘Mr. Batchelor,’ said the knight, ‘did
+you, in reading it, perceive any thing else that ought to be
+amended?’—‘There might be some things altered for the better,’ replied
+Carrasco; ‘but none of such consequence as those already
+mentioned.’—‘And pray,’ resumed Don Quixote, ‘does the author promise a
+second part?’—‘Yes,’ said Sampson, ‘but he says he has not yet found it,
+nor does he know in whose possession it is; so that we are still in
+doubt, whether or not it will see the light: on that account, therefore,
+and likewise because some people say, that second parts are never good,
+while others observe, that too much already hath been written concerning
+Don Quixote, it is believed that there will be no second part; though
+there is a a third sort more jovial than wise, who cry, “Quixote for
+ever! let the knight engage, and Sancho Panza harangue; come what will,
+we shall be satisfied.”’—‘And how does the author seem inclined?’ said
+the knight. ‘How?’ answered Carrasco, ‘to set the press a-going, as soon
+as he can find the history, for which he is now searching with all
+imaginable diligence; thereto swayed by interest, more than by any
+motive of praise.’—‘Since the author keeps interest and money in his
+eye,’ said Sancho, ‘it will be a wonder if he succeeds; for he’ll do
+nothing but hurry, hurry, like a taylor on Easter-eve; and your works
+that are trumped up in a haste, are never finished with that perfection
+they require; I would have Mr. Moor take care, and consider what he is
+about; for my master and I will furnish him with materials, in point of
+adventures and different events, sufficient to compose not only one, but
+a hundred second parts. What! I suppose the honest man thinks we are now
+sleeping among straw; but let him lift up our feet, and then he will see
+which of them wants to be shod; all that I shall say is, if my master
+had taken my advice, we might have been already in the fields,
+redressing grievances, and righting wrongs, according to the use and
+custom of true knights-errant.’
+
+Scarce had Sancho pronounced these last words, when their ears were
+saluted by the neighing of Rozinante, which Don Quixote considered as a
+most happy omen, and determined in three or four days to set out on his
+third expedition; accordingly, he declared his intention to the
+batchelor, whose advice he asked with regard to the route he should
+take. Sampson said, that in his opinion, he ought to direct his course
+towards the kingdom of Arragon, and go to Saragossa, where, in a few
+days, was to be held a most solemn tournament on the festival of St.
+George; there he would have an opportunity of winning the palm from the
+Arragonian knights, which would raise his reputation above that of all
+the champions upon earth: he applauded his design as a most valiant and
+honourable determination, and begged he would be more cautious in
+encountering dangers, because his life was not his own, but the property
+of all those who had occasion for protection and succour in distress.
+
+‘That is the very thing I repose, Mr. Sampson,’ said the squire; ‘for my
+master thinks no more of attacking a hundred men in arms, than a hungry
+boy would think of swallowing half a dozen pippins[139]. Body of the
+universe! Mr. Batchelor, if there are times for attacking, there are
+also seasons for retreating; the cry must not always be “St. Jago!
+charge, Spain[140]!” especially as I have heard, and, if I remember
+aright, my master himself has often observed, that valour lies in the
+middle, between the extremes of cowardice and rashness; this being the
+case, I would not have him fly without good reason, nor give the assault
+when he is likely to be overpowered by numbers; but, above all things, I
+give my master notice, that if he carries me along with him, it shall be
+on condition that he fight all the battles himself, and I be obliged to
+do nothing, but tend his person, that is, take care of his belly, and
+keep him sweet and clean; in which case, I will jig it away with
+pleasure[141]; but to think that I will put hand to sword, even against
+base-born plebeians with cap and hatchet, is a wild imagination: for my
+own part, Mr. Sampson, I do not pretend to the reputation of being
+valiant, but of being the best and loyalest squire that ever served a
+knight-errant; and if my master Don Quixote, in consideration of my
+great and faithful services, shall be pleased to bestow upon me one of
+those many islands which his worship says will fall in his way, I shall
+very thankfully receive the favour; and even if he should not keep his
+word, here stand I, simple as I am, and one man must not depend upon
+another, but trust in God alone; besides, the bread I eat, without a
+government, mayhap will relish better than the dainties of a governor;
+and how do I know but the devil may, in these governments, raise some
+stumbling-block, over which I shall fall and beat out my grinders?
+Sancho I was born, and Sancho will I die; but, nevertheless, if by the
+favour of Providence, I could fairly and softly, without much risk or
+anxiety, obtain an island, or some such matter, I am not such a ninny as
+to throw it away; for, as the saying is, When the heifer is offered, be
+ready with the rope; and, When good fortune comes to thy door, be sure
+to bid it welcome.’
+
+‘Brother Sancho,’ said the batchelor, ‘you have spoke like a professor;
+but for all that, put your trust in God, and Signior Don Quixote, who
+instead of an island, will give you a whole kingdom.’—‘The one as likely
+as the other,’ answered Sancho; ‘though I dare venture to assure Signior
+Carrasco, that the kingdom, which my master shall bestow upon me, will
+not be put into a rotten sack; for I have felt my own pulse, and find
+myself in health sufficient to rule kingdoms and govern islands, as I
+have, upon many other occasions, hinted to my master.’—‘Consider,
+Sancho,’ said the batchelor, ‘that honours often change the disposition;
+and, perhaps, when you come to be governor, you will not know the mother
+that bore you.’—‘That may be the case,’ answered the squire, ‘with those
+who were born among mallows; but not with me, who have got four inches
+of old christian suet on my ribs; then if you come to consider my
+disposition, you will find I am incapable of behaving ungratefully to
+any person whatever.’—‘God grant it to be so,’ said the knight; ‘but
+this will appear when you arrive at the government, which methinks I
+have already in mine eye.’
+
+He then intreated the batchelor, if he was a poet, to favour him with a
+copy of verses on his intended parting from his mistress Dulcinea del
+Toboso, and desired that every line might begin with a letter of her
+name, so that the initials being joined together, might make Dulcinea
+del Toboso. Carrasco, though he owned he was not one of the famous poets
+of Spain, who were said to be but three and a half[142], promised to
+compose such an acrostick as he desired, which, by the bye, he foresaw
+would be no easy task, because the name consisted of seventeen letters,
+and if he should make four stanzas of four lines each, one must be left
+out; or should they be composed of five, called decimas or roundelays,
+three letters would be wanting to compleat the number; however, he would
+endeavour to sink one letter as much as he could, so that in four
+stanzas the name Dulcinea del Toboso should be included. ‘That must be
+done, at all events,’ said Don Quixote; ‘for if the name be not plain
+and manifest, no woman will believe that she was the subject of the
+poem.’ This affair being thus settled, as also the time of their
+departure, which was fixed at the distance of eight days, Don Quixote
+charged the batchelor to keep it secret, especially from the curate, Mr.
+Nicholas, his niece, and housekeeper, that they might not obstruct his
+honourable and valiant determination. Carrasco, having promised to
+observe this caution, took his leave of the knight, whom he begged to
+favour him on every occasion, with an account of his good or evil
+fortune; and Sancho went home, to provide every thing necessary for
+their expedition.
+
+Footnote 137:
+
+ As related in the famous poem of Orlando Inamorato, composed by
+ Boyardo, of which the Orlando Furioso of Ariosto is the continuation.
+
+Footnote 138:
+
+ In the original, ‘Black for white.’
+
+Footnote 139:
+
+ Literally, _badeas_, a kind of water melon.
+
+Footnote 140:
+
+ This is the cry uttered by the Spaniards when they charge in battle.
+
+Footnote 141:
+
+ _Baylar el agua delante_, is a phrase applicable to those who do their
+ duty with alacrity, taken from the practice of watering the courts in
+ Spain, an office which the maids perform with a motion that resembles
+ dancing.
+
+Footnote 142:
+
+ Alonzo de Ercilla, author of the Auraucana; Juan Rufo de Cordova,
+ author of the Austriada; Christopher Verves de Valentia, author of the
+ Monserratte; and as for the half, Cervantes in all probability meant
+ himself.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. V.
+ OF THE SAGE AND PLEASANT DIALOGUE BETWEEN SANCHO PANZA
+ AND HIS WIFE TERESA PANZA,
+ WITH OTHER INCIDENTS WORTHY TO BE MOST HAPPILY RECORDED.
+
+
+The translator says he looks upon this chapter as apocryphal, because it
+represents Sancho Panza speaking in a stile quite different from that
+which might be expected from his shallow understanding, and making such
+ingenious observations, as he thinks it impossible he should know; but
+he would not leave it out, that he might punctually perform the duty of
+a faithful translator, and therefore proceeds in these words.
+
+Sancho returned to his own house in such high spirits, that his wife
+perceived his gaiety at the distance of a bow shot, and could not help
+saying, ‘What is the matter, friend Sancho, that you seem so joyful?’ To
+this question the squire answered, ‘An it pleased God, wife, I should be
+very glad if I were not so joyful as I seem to be.’—‘Truly, husband,’
+replied Teresa[143], ‘I don’t understand you; and cannot conceive what
+you mean, by saying you should be very glad, an it pleased God, you were
+not so joyful; for, simple though I be, I am always glad with what makes
+me joyful.’—‘Mark me, Teresa,’ said the squire, ‘I am rejoiced, because
+it is determined that I shall return to the service of my master Don
+Quixote, who is going to make a third sally in quest of adventures, and
+I must accompany him in his expedition; for so my destiny will have it,
+together with the comfortable and lively hope of finding another hundred
+crowns like those I have expended: on the other hand, sorry am I to part
+with thee and my children; and if God would permit me to eat my bread
+dry-shod at home, without dragging me over clifts and cross-paths; (and
+this might be done at a small expence, if he would only say the word) it
+is plain that my joy would be more firm and perfect; whereas that which
+I feel at present, is mingled with the melancholy thoughts of leaving
+thee, my duck; wherefore I justly said I should be glad, an it pleased
+God, I were less joyful.’—‘Verily, Sancho,’ said his wife, ‘ever since
+you made yourself a member of knight-errantry, you talk in such a
+round-about manner, that there is no understanding what you say.’—‘Let
+it suffice,’ answered the squire, ‘that I am understood by God, who is
+the understander of all things; and there let it rest: meanwhile, take
+notice, gossip, it will be convenient for you to tend Dapple for these
+two or three days with special care; let his allowance be doubled, that
+he may be enabled to carry arms; and look out for the pannel and the red
+of the tackle, for we are not going to a wedding, but to traverse the
+globe, and give and take dry blows with your giants, dragons, and
+hobgoblins, and hear nothing but hissing, roaring, bellowing, and
+bleating; and all this would be but flowers of lavender, were it not our
+doom to encounter with Yanguesians and inchanted Moors.’—‘I very well
+believe that squires-errant do not eat the bread of idleness,’ replied
+Teresa; ‘and therefore, husband, I shall continually pray to our Lord,
+to deliver you from such misfortunes.’—‘I tell thee, wife,’ said Sancho,
+‘if I did not expect to see myself in a little time governor of an
+island, I should drop down dead upon the spot.’—‘By no means, dear
+husband,’ cried Teresa, ‘Let the hen live, though she have the pip; and
+I hope you will live, though the devil run away with all the governments
+upon earth; without a government did you come from your mother’s womb;
+without a government have you lived to this good hour; and without a
+government shall you go or be carried to your grave, in God’s own time:
+there are many in the world who have no governments, and yet, for all
+that, they live and are numbered among the people. Hunger is the best
+sauce, and as that is never wanting among the poor, they always relish
+what they eat; but take care, Sancho, if you come to a government, that
+you do not forget me and your children: consider, Sanchico has already
+fifteen good years over his head, and that it is time for him to go to
+school, if in case his uncle the abbot has a mind to breed him to the
+church: consider too, that your daughter Mary Sancha, will not break her
+heart if we marry her, for I am much mistaken if she does not long for a
+husband, as much as you do for a government; and the short and long of
+it is, you had better have your daughter ill buckled as a wife, than
+well kept as a concubine.’
+
+‘Take my word for it,’ answered Sancho, ‘if by the blessing of God I
+come to any sort of government, I intend, my dear, to match Mary Sancha
+so high, that nobody shall come near her, without calling her, _your
+ladyship_.’—‘Never think of that, Sancho!’ cried Teresa, ‘match her with
+her equal, which will be more prudent than to raise her from clogs to
+pattens, from good fourteen-penny hoyden grey, to farthingales and
+petticoats of silk, and from _Molly_ and _thou_, to _Donna_ and _my lady
+such-a-one_; the girl’s head would be quite turned, and she would be
+continually falling into some blunder, that would discover the coarse
+thread of her home-spun breeding.’—‘Shut that foolish mouth of thine,’
+said Sancho; ‘in two or three years practice, quality and politeness
+will become quite familiar to her; or, if they should not, what does it
+signify? Let her first be a lady, and then happen what will.’—‘Meddle,
+Sancho, with those of your own station,’ replied Teresa, ‘and seek not
+to lift your head too high; but remember the proverb that says, When
+your neighbour’s son comes to the door, wipe his nose, and take him in.
+It would be a fine thing, truly, to match our Mary with a great count or
+cavalier, who would, when he should take it in his head, look upon her
+as a monster, and call her country wench, and clod-breaker’s and
+hemp-spinner’s brat; that shall never happen in my life time, husband;
+it was not for that I brought up my child; do you find a portion, and as
+to her marriage, leave that to my care; there is Lope Tocho, old John
+Tocho’s son, a jolly young fellow, stout and wholesome, whom we all
+know, and I can perceive that he has no dislike to the girl; besides, he
+being our equal, she will be very well matched with him; for we shall
+always have them under our eye, and the two families will live together,
+parents and children, sons-in-law and grandsons, and the peace and
+blessing of God will dwell amongst us; wherefore you shall not match me
+her in your courts and grand palaces, where she will neither understand
+nor be understood.’—‘Hark ye, you beast and yoke-fellow for Barrabas!’
+replied Sancho, ‘why wouldst thou now, without rhime or reason, prevent
+me from matching my daughter, so as that my grand-children shall be
+persons of quality? remember, Teresa, I have often heard my elders and
+betters observe, He that’s coy when fortune’s kind, may after seek but
+never find. And should not I be to blame, if, now that she knocks at my
+door, I should bolt it against her? Let us, therefore, take the
+advantage of the favourable gale that blows.’
+
+It was this uncommon stile, with what Sancho says below, that induced
+the translator to pronounce the whole chapter apocryphal.
+
+‘Can’t you perceive, animal, with half an eye,’ proceeded Sancho, ‘that
+I shall act wisely, in devoting this body of mine to some beneficial
+government that will lift us out of the dirt, and enable me to match
+Mary Sancha according to my own good pleasure: then wilt thou hear
+thyself called Donna Teresa Panza, and find thyself seated at church
+upon carpets, cushions, and tapestry, in despite and defiance of all the
+small gentry in the parish; and not be always in the same moping
+circumstances, without increase or diminution, like a picture in the
+hangings: but no more of this; Sanchica shall be a countess, though thou
+shouldst cry thy heart out.’—‘Look before you leap, husband,’ answered
+Teresa: ‘after all, I wish to God this quality of my daughter may not be
+the cause of her perdition; take your own way, and make her dutchess or
+princess, or what you please, but I’ll assure you, it shall never be
+with my consent or good will; I was always a lover of equality, my dear,
+and can’t bear to see people hold their heads high without reason.
+Teresa was I christened, a bare and simple name, without the addition,
+garniture, and embroidery of Don or Donna; my father’s name is Cascajo,
+and mine, as being your spouse, Teresa Panza, though by rights I should
+be called Teresa Cascajo: but as the king minds, the law binds; and with
+that name am I contented, though it be not burdened with a Don, which
+weighs so heavy, that I should not be able to bear it; neither will I
+put it in the power of those who see me dressed like a countess or
+governor’s lady, to say, “Mind Mrs. Porkfeeder; how proud she looks! it
+was but yesterday she toiled hard at the distaff, and went to mass with
+the tail of her gown about her head, instead of a veil: but now,
+forsooth, she has got her fine farthingales and jewels, and holds up her
+head as if we did not know her.” If God preserve me in my seven or five
+senses, or as many as they be, I shall never bring myself into such a
+quandary: as for your part, spouse, you may go to your governments and
+islands, and be as proud as a peacock; but as for my daughter and me, by
+the life of my father! we will not stir one step from the village; for,
+The wife that deserves a good name, stays at home as if she were lame;
+and, The maid must be still a doing, that hopes to see the men come a
+wooing. You and Don Quixote may therefore go to your adventures, and
+leave us to our misventures; for God will better our condition, if we
+deserve his mercy; though truly I cannot imagine who made him a Don; I
+am sure, neither his father nor grandfather had any such title.’—‘I tell
+thee, wife,’ replied the squire, ‘thou hast certainly got some devil in
+that carcase of thine; the Lord watch over thee, woman! what a deal of
+stuff hast thou been tacking together, without either head or tail? What
+the devil has your Cascajos, jewels, proverbs, and pride, to do with
+what I have been saying? Heark ye, you ignorant beast, for such I may
+call thee, as thou hast neither capacity to understand my discourse, nor
+prudence to make sure of good fortune when it lies in thy way, were I to
+say, that my daughter shall throw herself from the top of a steeple, or
+go strolling about the world, like the Infanta Donna Uraca, thou wouldst
+have reason to contradict my pleasure; but if, in two turnings of a ball
+and one twinkling of an eye, our good fortune should lay a title across
+our shoulders, and raising thee from the stubble, set thee in a chair of
+state, under a canopy, or lay thee upon a sofa, consisting of more
+velvet almohadas[144], than there are Moors in all the family of the
+Almohadas in Morocco; wherefore wouldst not thou consent, and with me
+enjoy the good-luck that falls?’—‘I’ll tell thee wherefore, husband,’
+replied Teresa, ‘because, as the saying is, What covers, discovers thee;
+the eyes of people always run slightly over the poor, but make an halt
+to examine the rich; and if a person so examined was once poor, then
+comes the grumbling and the slandering; and he is persecuted by
+back-biters, who swarm in our streets like bees.’
+
+‘Give ear, Teresa, and listen to what I am going to say,’ answered
+Sancho: ‘for mayhap thou hast never heard such a thing in all the days
+of thy life; and I do not now pretend to speak from my own reflection,
+but to repeat the remarks of the good father who preached last Lent in
+our village. He said, if I right remember, that all objects present to
+the view, exist, and are impressed upon the imagination, with much
+greater energy and force, than those which we only remember to have
+seen.’ (The arguments here used by Sancho, contributed also to make the
+translator believe this chapter apocryphal; because they seem to exceed
+the capacity of the squire, who proceeded thus:) ‘From whence it
+happens, that when we see any person magnificently dressed, and
+surrounded with the pomp of servants, we find ourselves invited, and, as
+it were, compelled to pay him respect; although the memory should, at
+that instant, represent to us some mean circumstances of his former
+life; because that defect, whether in point of family or fortune, is
+already past and removed, and we only regard what is present to our
+view; and if the person, whom fortune hath thus raised from the lowness
+of oblivion to the height of prosperity, be well-bred, liberal, and
+courteous, without pretending to vie with the ancient nobility, you may
+take it for granted, Teresa, that nobody will remember what he was, but
+reverence what he now is, except the children of Envy, from whom no
+thriving person is secure.’—‘I really do not understand you,’ said
+Teresa: ‘you may do what you will; but seek not to distract my brain
+with your rhetorick and harranguing, for if you be revolved to do what
+you say—’ ‘You must call it resolved, woman, and not revolved,’ cried
+Sancho. ‘Never plague yourself to dispute with me, husband,’ answered
+Teresa: ‘I speak as God pleases, and meddle not with other people’s
+concerns. If you are obstinately bent upon this same government, I
+desire you will carry your son Sancho along with you, and from this hour
+teach him the art of that profession; for it is but reasonable that the
+sons should inherit and learn the trade of their fathers.’—‘As soon as I
+have obtained my government,’ said Sancho, ‘I will send the money for
+him by the post, as by that time I shall have plenty; for there are
+always people in abundance that will lend to a governor who has no money
+of his own; and be sure you cloath him in such a manner as to disguise
+his present condition, and make him appear like what he is to be.’—‘Send
+you the money,’ answered Teresa, ‘and I will dress him up like any
+branch of palm[145].’—‘Well, then,’ said Sancho, ‘we are agreed about
+making our daughter a countess——’ ‘That day I behold her a countess,’
+cried the wife, ‘I shall reckon her dead and buried; but, I tell you
+again, you may use your pleasure: for we women are born to be obedient
+to our husbands, though they are no better than blocks.’
+
+So saying, she began to weep as bitterly as if she had actually seen her
+daughter laid in her grave. Sancho consoled her, by saying, that
+although she must be a countess, he would defer her promotion as long as
+he could. Thus ended the conversation, and the squire went back to Don
+Quixote to concert measures for their speedy departure.
+
+Footnote 143:
+
+ Sancho’s wife has already been mentioned under the names of Juana and
+ Mary, and now she is called Teresa.
+
+Footnote 144:
+
+ Almohada signifies a cushion.
+
+Footnote 145:
+
+ Alluding to the bough that is adorned and carried in procession on
+ Palm Sunday.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VI.
+ OF WHAT PASSED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE,
+ HIS NIECE, AND HOUSEKEEPER,
+ BEING ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT CHAPTERS OF THE WHOLE HISTORY.
+
+
+While this impertinent conversation passed between Sancho Panza and his
+wife Teresa Cascajo, Don Quixote’s niece and housekeeper were not idle;
+for, collecting from a thousand symptoms that their master wanted to
+give them the slip a third time, and return to the exercise of his
+unlucky knight-errantry, they endeavoured, by all possible means, to
+divert him from his extravagant design; but all they could say was like
+preaching to the desart, or hammering cold iron. However, among many
+other arguments, the housekeeper said to him, ‘As I hope to be saved,
+dear master, if your worship will not settle at home in your own house,
+but are resolved to stray about the mountains and vallies, like a
+troubled ghost, in quest of what you term adventures, but what I call
+mischances, I will complain in person, and raise up my voice to God and
+the king, that they may apply some remedy to your disorder.’ To this
+declaration, the knight replied, ‘Mrs. Housekeeper, how God will accept
+of thy complaints I know not; neither can I guess in what manner his
+majesty will answer thy petition: this only I know, that if I were king,
+I would excuse myself from answering that infinite number of impertinent
+memorials which are daily presented; for one of the greatest of the many
+fatigues that attend royalty, is that of being obliged to listen and
+reply to all petitions; therefore I would not have his majesty troubled
+with any affair of mine.’—‘Pray, Sir,’ said the housekeeper, ‘are there
+no knights at court?’—‘Yes, there are many,’ answered Don Quixote; ‘and
+it is reasonable, that there should be always a good number in
+attendance to adorn the court, and support the pomp and magnificence of
+majesty.’—‘Would it not be better, then, for your worship,’ replied the
+matron, ‘to be one of that number, and serve your king and master
+quietly and safely at court?’—‘You must know, good woman,’ said Don
+Quixote, ‘all knights cannot be courtiers; neither can or ought all
+courtiers to be knights errant: there ought to be plenty of both; and
+though we are all knights, there is a great difference between the one
+sort and the other; your courtiers, without crossing the thresholds of
+their own apartments, travel over the world, in maps, gratis, and never
+know what it is to suffer either heat, cold, hunger, or thirst, in their
+journey; whereas, we real knights-errant measure the whole globe with
+our own footsteps, exposed night and day, on horse-back and a-foot, to
+the summer’s sun and winter’s cold, and all the inclemencies of the
+weather; we not only seek to see the picture, but the person of our foe,
+and on all emergencies and occasions attack him, without paying any
+regard to the trifling rules of challenges; whether, for example, his
+sword and lance be shorter or longer than our own; whether he wears
+about him any relick or secret coat of mail; or whether the sun and wind
+be equally divided; with other ceremonies of that nature, which are
+usually observed in duelling, and which, though I know them punctually,
+thou art little acquainted with: thou must also know, that a good
+knight-errant, though he sees ten giants, whose heads not only touch,
+but overtop the clouds, with legs like lofty steeples, and arms
+resembling the masts of vast and warlike ships; while each eye, as large
+as a mill-wheel, beams and burns like a glass furnace, is by no means
+confounded or abashed; but, on the contrary, with genteel demeanour, and
+intrepid heart, approaches, assaults, and, if possible, vanquishes and
+overthrows them in a twinkling, though they are armed with the shell of
+a certain fish, said to be harder than adamant; and instead of a sword,
+use a keen scymitar of damasked steel, or a huge club, armed with a
+point of the same metal, as I have seen on a dozen different occasions.
+All this I have mentioned, good woman, that thou mayest see what
+difference there is between knights of different orders; and every
+prince ought, in reason, to pay greater respect to his second, or rather
+this first species of knights-errant, among whom, as we read in history,
+there have been some who were the bulwarks not only of one, but of many
+kingdoms.’
+
+‘Ah, dear Sir,’ cried the niece, interrupting him, ‘consider that all
+those stories of knights-errant are nothing but lyes and invention; and
+every one of the books that contain them deserves, if not to be burnt,
+at least to wear a _san benito_[146], or some other badge, by which it
+may be known for an infamous perverter of virtue and good sense.’—‘By
+the God that protects me!’ cried the knight, ‘wert thou not undoubtedly
+my niece, as being my own sister’s child, I would chastise thee in such
+a manner, for the blasphemy thou hast uttered, that the whole world
+would resound with the example. How! shall a pert baggage, who has
+scarce capacity enough to manage a dozen lace bobbins, dare to wag her
+tongue in censuring the histories of knights-errant? What would Signior
+Amadis say to such presumption? But, surely, he would forgive thy
+arrogance; for he was the most humble and courteous knight of his time,
+and besides the particular champion and protector of damsels: but thou
+mightest have been heard by another who would not treat thee so gently;
+for all are not affable and well-bred; on the contrary, some there are
+extremely brutal and impolite. All those who call themselves knights,
+are not entitled to that distinction; some being of pure gold, and
+others of baser metal, notwithstanding the denomination they assume. But
+these last cannot stand the touchstone of truth: there are many
+plebeians, who sweat and struggle to maintain the appearance of
+gentlemen; and, on the other hand, there are gentlemen of rank who seem
+industrious to appear mean and degenerate; the one sort raise themselves
+either by ambition or virtue, while the other abase themselves by
+viciousness or sloth; so that we must avail ourselves of our
+understanding and discernment, in distinguishing those persons, who,
+though they bear the same appellation, are yet so different in point of
+character.’—‘Good God!’ said the niece, ‘that your worship should be so
+learned, that even, if need were, you might mount the pulpit, or go a
+preaching in the streets, and yet remain in such woeful blindness and
+palpable folly, as to persuade the world that you are a valiant and
+vigorous righter of wrongs, when you are old, feeble, and almost
+crippled with age; but, above all things, to give yourself out for a
+knight, when you are no such thing; for, though rich gentlemen may be
+knighted, poor gentlemen, like you, seldom are.’
+
+‘There is a good deal of truth in what thou hast observed, cousin,’
+replied Don Quixote; ‘and I could tell thee such things, concerning
+families, as would raise thine admiration; but these I suppress, that I
+may not seem to mix what’s human with what’s divine. Take notice,
+however, my friends, and be attentive to what I am going to say: all the
+families in the world may be reduced to four kinds, which are these; one
+that, from low beginnings, hath extended and dilated to a pitch of power
+and greatness; another, that from great beginnings hath continued to
+preserve and maintain its original importance; a third, that from vast
+beginnings hath ended in a point, diminishing and decaying from its
+foundation, into an inconsiderable point like that of a pyramid, which
+in respect of its base, is next kin to nothing; a fourth, and that the
+most numerous, had neither a good foundation, nor reasonable
+superstructure, and therefore sinks into oblivion, unobserved; such are
+the families of plebeians and ordinary people. The first, that from low
+beginnings hath mounted to power and greatness, which it preserves to
+this day, is exemplified in the house of Ottoman, that from an humble
+shepherd, who gave rise to it, attained that pinnacle of grandeur on
+which it now stands; the second sort of pedigree, that without
+augmentation hath preserved its original importance, is exhibited in the
+persons of many princes, who are such by inheritance; and support their
+rank without addition or diminution, containing themselves peaceably
+within the limits of their own dominions; of those who, from illustrious
+beginnings, have dwindled into a point, there are a thousand examples in
+the Pharaohs and Ptolemeys of Egypt, the Cæsars of Rome, with all the
+tribe, if they may be so called, of our Median, Assyrian, Persian,
+Greek, and Barbarian princes, monarchs, and great men. All these
+families and states, together with their founders, have ended in a very
+inconsiderable point; since, at this day, it is impossible to trace out
+one of their descendants; or, if we could, he would be found in some
+base and low degree. I have nothing to say of the plebeians, who only
+serve to increase the number of the living, without deferring any other
+fame or panegyrick. From what I have said, I would have you infer, my
+precious wise-acres, that there is a great confusion of pedigrees; and
+that those only appear grand and illustrious, whole representatives
+abound with virtue, liberality, and wealth: I say, virtue, liberality,
+and wealth; because the vicious great man is no more than a great
+sinner; and the rich man without liberality, a mere covetous beggar; for
+happiness does not consist in possessing, but in spending riches; and
+that not in squandering them away, but in knowing how to use them with
+taste. Now a poor knight has no other way of signalizing his birth, but
+the practice of virtue, being affable, well-bred, courteous, kind, and
+obliging; a stranger to pride, arrogance, and slander; and, above all
+things, charitable; for, by giving two farthings chearfully to the poor,
+he may shew himself as generous as he that dispenses alms by sound of
+bell: and whosoever sees him adorned with these virtues, although he
+should be an utter stranger to his race, will conclude that he is
+descended of a good family. Indeed, it would be a sort of miracle to
+find it otherwise; so that praise is always the reward of virtue, and
+never fails to attend the righteous. There are two paths, my children,
+that lead to wealth and honour: one is that of learning, the other that
+of arms; now I am better qualified for the last than for the first; and
+(as I judge from my inclination to arms) was born under the influence of
+the planet Mars; so that I am, as it were, obliged to chuse that road,
+which I will pursue in spite of the whole universe: you will therefore
+fatigue yourselves to no purpose, in attempting to persuade me from that
+which Heaven inspires, fortune ordains, reason demands, and, above all
+things, my own inclination dictates; knowing, as I do, the innumerable
+toils annexed to knight errantry, I am also well acquainted with the
+infinite benefits acquired in the exercise of that profession. I know
+the path of virtue is very strait, while the road of vice is broad and
+spacious. I know their end and issue is different: the wide extended way
+of vice conducts the traveller to death; while the narrow toilful path
+of virtue leads to happiness and life—not that which perisheth, but that
+which hath no end; and I know, as our great Castilian poet observes—
+
+ ‘“By these rough paths of toil and pain,
+ Th’ immortal feats of bliss we gain,
+ Deny’d to those who heedless stray
+ In tempting pleasure’s flow’ry way.”’
+
+‘Ah! woe is me!’ cried the cousin, ‘my uncle is a poet too! he knows
+every thing, and can do every thing: I’ll lay a wager, if he should turn
+bricklayer, he could build a house like any cage.’—‘I do assure thee,
+niece,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘if those knightly sentiments did not
+wholly engross my attention, there is not a thing on earth that I could
+not make, nor a curiosity that should not go through my hands,
+especially bird-cages and tooth-picks.’
+
+Here the conversation was interrupted by a knocking at the gate; which,
+as they found upon enquiry, was made by Sancho; whose presence was no
+sooner intimated, than the housekeeper ran away to hide herself that she
+might avoid the sight of him whom she abhorred: the niece, therefore,
+opened the door, and his master came out to receive him with open arms;
+then, shutting themselves up together, another dialogue passed, no ways
+inferior to the former.
+
+Footnote 146:
+
+ A dress put upon convicted hereticks.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VII.
+ OF WHAT PASSED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE AND HIS SQUIRE;
+ WITH OTHER SURPRIZING INCIDENTS.
+
+
+The housekeeper seeing that her master and Sancho were locked up
+together, immediately guessed the subject of the conversation; and
+imagining, that the result of this confutation would be a third sally,
+she put on her veil, and full of trouble and anxiety, went in quest of
+the batchelor Sampson Carrasco, thinking, that as he was a well spoken
+man, and her master’s new friend, he might persuade him to lay aside
+such an extravagant design: accordingly, she found him taking a turn in
+his own yard, and fell upon her knees before him, in a cold sweat,
+occasioned by her vexation. Carrasco seeing her appear with such marks
+of sorrow and consternation, said, ‘What is the matter, Mrs.
+Housekeeper? what hath befallen you? something seems to have harrowed up
+your very soul!’—‘Nothing at all, dear Mr. Sampson,’ cried the
+housekeeper, ‘only my master is breaking out; he is certainly breaking
+out!’—‘How breaking out?’ said Sampson; ‘is any part of his body
+unsound?’—‘Where should it break out,’ replied the other, ‘but through
+the gate of his madness? My meaning, dear batchelor of my soul! is, that
+he is going to make another sally, (and that will be the third)
+searching up and down the world for what he calls adventures, though I
+cannot imagine why they should have that name[147]: the first time, he
+returned so battered and bruised, that they were fain to lay him across
+an ass, like a sack of oats, because he could not sit upright; the
+second time, he was brought home in a waggon, stretched and cooped up in
+a cage, in which he imagined himself inchanted, in such a woeful plight,
+that he could scarce be known by the mother that bore him, so lank and
+meagre, with his eyes sunk into the lowest pit of his brain; so that
+before I could bring him into any tolerable degree of strength, I
+expended more than six hundred new-laid eggs, as God and all the world
+know, as well as my hens, that will not suffer me to tell a lye.’—‘That
+I verily believe,’ said the batchelor; ‘your hens are so good, plump,
+and well bred, that they would rather burst than say one thing, and mean
+another. Well, then, Mrs. Housekeeper, nothing else hath happened,
+neither have you met with any other misfortune, but the apprehension of
+what your master Don Quixote will do?’—‘Nothing else,’ said she. ‘Give
+yourself no trouble then,’ resumed the batchelor, ‘but go home a-God’s
+name, and get ready something hot for my breakfast; and in your way,
+repeat St. Apollonia’s prayer, if you can; I will follow in a little
+time, and then you shall see wonders.’—‘Dear heart!’ cried the
+housekeeper, ‘St. Apollonia’s prayer, say you? that I should repeat if
+my master had the tooth-ach; but, lack-a-day! his distemper lies in his
+skull.’—‘I know what I say,’ answered Sampson: ‘take my advice, Mrs.
+Housekeeper, and do not pretend to dispute with me; for I would have
+thee to know that I am a batchelor of Salamanca; there’s no higher
+batcheleering than that.’ She accordingly moved homeward, while Sampson
+went to communicate to the curate that which will be in due time
+disclosed.
+
+While Don Quixote and Sancho were closeted together, there passed
+between them a conversation which the history recounts with great
+punctuality and truth. ‘Signior,’ said the squire, ‘I have at length
+traduced my wife to consent that I shall attend your worship wheresoever
+you please to carry me.’-‘Say reduced, and not traduced, Sancho,’
+replied the knight. ‘I have once or twice, if my memory serves me,’ said
+Sancho, ‘intreated your worship not to correct my words, if you
+understand my meaning; and when you can’t make it out, I desire you
+would say, “Sancho,” or “devil, I don’t understand thee:” then if I fail
+in explaining myself, you may correct me as much as you please; for I am
+so fossile.’—‘I do not understand thee now,’ cried Don Quixote, ‘nor can
+I comprehend what thou wouldst be at, in saying I am so fossile.’—‘So
+fossile!’ said the squire; ‘that is, whereby as how I am just so.’—‘Nay,
+now thou art more and more unintelligible,’ replied the knight. ‘If your
+worship does not understand me now,’ answered Sancho, ‘I know not how to
+express it; for I am already at my wit’s end, and Lord have mercy upon
+me.’—‘O! now I conceive thy meaning,’ said the knight; ‘thou wouldst say
+thou art so docile, gentle, and tractable, as to comprehend every thing
+I say, and retain whatsoever I shall teach thee.’—‘I’ll lay a wager,’
+said the squire, ‘that from the beginning, you knew my meaning by my
+mumping, but wanted to confound me by leading me into a thousand more
+blunders.’—‘It may be so,’ said the knight; ‘but in reality, what says
+Teresa?’—‘Teresa,’ answered Sancho, ‘says I must be sharp with your
+worship. Fast bind, fast find; He that shuffles does not always cut; and
+that, A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush: now I know that A
+wife’s counsel is bad, but he that will not take it is mad.’—‘So say I,’
+replied Don Quixote; ‘proceed, friend Sancho, you speak like an oracle
+to-day.’—‘Why then the case is this,’ resumed Sancho; ‘your worship very
+well knows we are all mortal, here to-day, and gone to-morrow; for the
+lamb goes as fast as the dam; and no man in this world can promise
+himself more hours of life than God is pleased to grant him; because
+death is deaf, and when he knocks at the door of life is always in a
+hurry, and will not be detained either by fair means or force, by
+sceptres or mitres, as the report goes, and as we have often heard it
+declared from the pulpit.’—‘All this is very true,’ said the knight;
+‘but I cannot guess what you drive at.’—‘What I drive at,’ answered
+Sancho, ‘is, that your worship would appoint me a certain monthly salary
+for the time I shall serve you, to be paid out of your estate; for I do
+not chuse to depend upon recompences that come late, or low, or never.
+God will protect me with my own. In short, I would know what I have to
+trust to, whether little or much; for, The hen clucks though but on one
+egg; Many littles make a mickle; and, He that is getting aught, is
+losing nought. True it is, if it should happen, which I neither believe
+nor expect, that your worship can give me that island you have promised
+me so long; I am not so greedy or ungrateful, but that I will suffer my
+rent to be appraised, and my salary deducted in due portion[148]’.—‘To
+be sure, friend Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘all portions ought to be
+proportioned.’—‘I understand you,’ replied the squire, ‘I should have
+said proportion instead of portion; but that is of no signification,
+since my meaning is comprehended by your worship.’—‘Aye, and so
+thoroughly comprehended,’ said Don Quixote, ‘that I have penetrated into
+the inmost recesses of thy thoughts, and perceive the mark at which
+those innumerable shafts of thy proverbs are aimed. Look you, Sancho, I
+would appoint thee a salary, if I could find in any history of
+knights-errant, one precedent, by which I might discover, or have the
+least glimpse of what they used to give monthly or yearly; but I have
+carefully perused all, or the greatest part or those histories, and
+cannot remember to have read, that any knight-errant ever paid a certain
+salary to his squire. I only know that all of them trusted to favour,
+and when it was least in their thoughts, provided their masters chanced
+to be fortunate, they found themselves rewarded with an island or
+something equivalent, and at least were honoured with rank and title. If
+with these hopes and expectations, you are willing to return to my
+service, do it a-God’s name; but if you think I will unhinge and deviate
+from the ancient customs of chivalry, you are grievously mistaken:
+wherefore, friend Sancho, you may go home again, and declare my
+intention to your wife Teresa; and if she is pleased, and you are
+willing to depend upon my favour, _bene quidem_; if not, let us shake
+hands and part: while there are peas in the dove-house, I shall never
+want pigeons; and remember, my child, that it is better to be rich in
+hope than poor in possession; and that a good claim is preferable to bad
+pay. I talk in this manner, Sancho, to show that I can pour forth a
+volley of proverbs as well as you; and finally, I must and will give you
+to understand, that if you do not chuse to serve me on those terms, and
+share my fortune, whatsoever it may be, I pray God may prosper and make
+a saint of you; for my part, I shall not want squires more obedient and
+careful, though less troublesome and talkative than your worship.’
+
+When Sancho heard this firm resolution of his master, the sky began to
+lour, and down flagged the wings of his heart in a moment: for he had
+believed that the knight would not set out without him for all the
+wealth in the world. While he thus remained pensive and dejected, in
+came Sampson Carrasco, followed by the niece, who was very desirous to
+hear with what arguments he would dissuade her uncle from going again in
+quest of adventures. Sampson, who was a notable wag, no sooner entered,
+than embracing the knight, as at first, he pronounced with an audible
+voice, ‘O flower of knight-errantry, resplendent sun of arms, thou glory
+and mirrour of the Spanish nation! may it please the Almighty, of his
+infinite power, that if any person or persons shall raise any impediment
+to obstruct thy third sally, they may never extricate themselves from
+the labyrinth of their desires, or accomplish what they so unjustly
+wish!’ Then turning to the duenna, ‘Mrs. Housekeeper,’ said he, ‘you
+need not now repeat St. Apollonia’s prayer; for I know it is the precise
+determination of the stars, that Signior Don Quixote shall again execute
+his new and lofty plan: and I should greatly burden my confidence if I
+forbore to intimate, and desire, that this knight will no longer withold
+and detain the force of his valiant arm, and the virtue of his heroick
+soul; because, by his delay he retards the righting of wrongs, the
+protection of orphans, the honour of maidens, the favour of widows, the
+support of wives, with many other things of that nature, which regard,
+concern, depend upon, and appertain, to the order of knight-errantry.
+Courage! Signior Don Quixote, beautiful and brave; may your worship and
+grandeur set out before to morrow morning; and if any thing be wanting
+to forward your expedition, here am I, ready to make it good with my
+person and fortune; and, if need be, to serve your magnificence in
+quality of squire; an office in the execution of which I should think
+myself extremely happy.’
+
+Don Quixote hearing this proffer, turned to Sancho, saying, ‘Did not I
+tell thee, Sancho, that I should not want for squires? Take notice who
+it is that offers to attend me; who, but the unheard of batchelor
+Sampson Carrasco; the perpetual darling and delight of the court-yards
+belonging to the Salamancan schools; sound of body, strong of limb, a
+silent sufferer of heat and cold, hunger and thirst, and endued with all
+those qualifications which are requisite in the squire of a
+knight-errant: but Heaven will not permit me, for my own satisfaction,
+to break and demolish this pillar of learning, this urn of sciences, and
+to hew down such an eminent branch of the liberal arts. No, let this new
+Sampson stay at home, and honour the place of his nativity, together
+with the grey hairs of his ancient parents; while I make shift with any
+sort of squire, since Sancho will not vouchsafe to go along with me.’
+
+‘Y—yes, I do vouchsafe!’ cried Sancho, blubbering; ‘it shall never be
+said of me, dear master, that when the victuals were eaten up, the
+company sneaked off; I am not come of such an ungrateful stock; for all
+the world, and especially my own townsmen, know what sort of people the
+Panzas were, of whom I am descended; besides, I have perceived, and am
+sensible, by many good works, and more good words, that your worship is
+actually inclined to do for me; and if I have haggled more than enough
+about my wages, it was to please my wife, who, if she once takes in hand
+to persuade me to any thing, no cooper’s adze drives the hoops of a
+barrel as she drives at her purpose, until she hath gained it; but,
+after all, a man must be a man, and a woman a woman: now I being a man
+every inch of me, when or wheresoever I please to shew myself, (that I
+cannot deny) I am resolved to be master in my own house, in spite of the
+devil, the world, and the flesh; and therefore your worship has no more
+to do but prepare your will, with the codicil, so as that it cannot be
+rebuked; and then let us take our departure, that we may not endanger
+the soul of Mr. Sampson, whose conscience, he says, prompts him to
+persuade your worship to make a third sally through the world; and here
+I promise again to serve your worship faithfully and lawfully, as well
+as, and better than, all the squires that ever attended the
+knights-errant, either in past or present time.’
+
+The batchelor was astonished at hearing the manner and conclusion of
+Sancho’s speech; for although he had read the first part of his master’s
+history, he never believed him so diverting as he is there represented;
+but now, hearing him talk of the will and codicil that could not be
+rebuked, instead of revoked, he was convinced of the truth of what he
+had read, and confirmed in the opinion of his being one of the most
+solemn simpletons of the present age; saying, within himself, two such
+madmen as the master and his squire are not to be paralleled upon earth.
+In fine, Don Quixote and Sancho were reconciled, and embraced each
+other; and, in consequence of the opinion and assent of the great
+Carrasco, whom they looked upon as an oracle, it was determined that
+they should depart in three days, during which they would have time to
+provide themselves with necessaries for the journey, and find a compleat
+helmet for the knight, who insisted upon carrying one along with him
+into the field. Sampson, accordingly, undertook to accommodate him,
+saying he could command an helmet that was in possession of a friend of
+his; though the brightness of the metal was not a little obscured by the
+rust and mould which it had contracted.
+
+Innumerable were the curses which were vented against the batchelor by
+the housekeeper and niece, who tore their hair, and scratched their
+faces; and like the hired mourners, formerly in use, lamented the
+departure, as if it had been the death of their master. But Sampson’s
+view in persuading him to another sally, was to execute a design which
+he had concerted with the curate and barber, as will appear in the
+sequel. In short, during those three days, Don Quixote and Sancho
+furnished themselves with every thing they thought they should have
+occasion for; the squire pacified his wife, the knight appeased his
+niece and housekeeper; and on the evening of the fourth day, without
+being perceived by any living soul but the batchelor, who insisted upon
+accompanying them half a league out of town, they set out, and took the
+road to Toboso; Don Quixote mounted on his trusty Rozinante, and Sancho
+throned upon his old friend Dapple, with a pair of bags well lined with
+belly-timber, and a purse of money, which his master deposited in his
+hands, in case of accidents in their expedition.
+
+Sampson, embracing the knight, intreated him to write an account of his
+good or evil fortune, that he might congratulate or sympathize with him,
+as the laws of friendship require. Don Quixote assured him, he would
+comply with his request; the batchelor returned to the village, and the
+other two pursued their way towards the great city of Toboso.
+
+Footnote 147:
+
+ The original, _ventura_, signifies good luck as well as adventures.
+
+Footnote 148:
+
+ I have substituted this play upon the word proportion, in lieu of
+ Sancho’s blundering on _rata_.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VIII.
+ AN ACCOUNT OF WHAT HAPPENED TO DON QUIXOTE,
+ IN HIS JOURNEY TO VISIT HIS MISTRESS DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO.
+
+
+‘Blessed be the Almighty Ala,’ saith Cid Hamet Benengeli, in the
+beginning of this chapter; and this benediction he repeats three times,
+in consequence of finding Don Quixote and Sancho in the field again;
+observing, that the readers of this agreeable history may assure
+themselves that, from this period, the exploits of the knight and his
+squire begin. He therefore persuades them to forget the former
+adventures of our sage hero, and fix their attention upon those which
+are to come; and which now begin in the road to Toboso, as the others
+took their origin in the field of Montiel; and truly his demand is but
+reasonable, considering the fair promise he makes. Thus, therefore, he
+proceeds.
+
+Scarce had Sampson left Don Quixote and Sancho by themselves, when
+Rozinante began to neigh, and Dapple to bray most melodiously; a
+circumstance which was looked upon by both our adventurers as a
+fortunate signal and most happy omen; though, to deal candidly with the
+reader, the brayings of the ass exceeded in number the neighings of the
+horse; from whence Sancho concluded, his fortune would surmount and
+overtop that of his master. But whether or not he founded his belief on
+his knowledge in judicial astrology, I cannot determine, the history
+being silent on that subject; yet certain it is he had been heard to say
+when he stumbled or fell, that he wished he had not stirred over his own
+threshold; for nothing was to be got by a stumble or fall but a torn
+shoe, or broken bone; and truly, simple as he was, he had some reason
+for making that observation.
+
+‘Friend Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘the night is so far advanced, that
+we shall not be able to reach Toboso by day-light; yet thither I am
+determined to go, before I engage in any other adventure, that I may
+receive the benediction and good leave of the peerless Dulcinea, by the
+help of which I shall certainly atchieve, and happily perform, the most
+perilous exploits; for nothing in this life exalts the valour of
+knights-errant so much as the favour of their mistresses.’—‘I am of the
+same way of thinking,’ replied the squire; ‘but I believe your worship
+will find some difficulty in seeing her in a proper place for courtship,
+or indeed for receiving her blessing, unless she throws it over the
+pales of the yard through which I saw her for the first time, when I
+carried the letter that gave an account of the folly and mad pranks I
+left your worship committing in the heart of the brown mountain.’—‘Didst
+thou then actually imagine,’ said Don Quixote, ‘that those were the
+pales of a yard, over or through which thou sawest that paragon of
+gentleness and beauty? Certainly they could be no other than galleries,
+arcades, or corridores, such as belong to rich and royal palaces.’—‘It
+may be so,’ answered Sancho, ‘but either my memory fails me very much,
+or to me they seemed no better than the pales of a farmer’s yard.’—‘Be
+that as it will,’ resumed Don Quixote, ‘thither we will go, and at any
+rate get sight of her; for be it through pales, windows, crannies, or
+the rails of a garden, so the least ray of that sun of beauty reach mine
+eyes, it will enlighten my understanding, and fortify my heart in such a
+manner, that I shall remain the unequalled phœnix of valour and
+discretion.’—‘Truly, Sir,’ said the squire, ‘when I saw that same sun of
+my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso, it was not so bright as to send forth any
+rays at all; but the case was, the wheat that her ladyship was
+winnowing, as I told you before, raised such a cloud of dust about her,
+as quite darkened her countenance.’—‘Wilt thou still persist, Sancho,’
+replied the errant, ‘in saying, thinking, believing, and affirming, that
+my mistress Dulcinea was employed in such a mean office, so wide of all
+that is or ought to be practised by persons of rank, who are created and
+reserved for other exercises and amusements, that denote their quality
+at the distance of a bow-shot. Thou seemest to forget, O Sancho! those
+verses of our poet, in which he paints the labours that in their
+chrystal bowers engrossed the four nymphs, who, raising their heads
+above the waves of their beloved Tagus, sat down to work in the verdant
+meadow those rich and silken webs, which, as the ingenious poet
+describes, were with gold and pearls adorned and interweaved. In this
+manner my mistress must have been employed when thou sawest her; but
+some wicked inchanter, envious of my happiness and fame, converts and
+perverts every thing that yields me pleasure, into shapes and figures
+different from its real appearance; and in that history of my
+atchievements which they say is printed, if the author be some sage who
+is an enemy to my success, I am afraid he hath confounded one thing with
+another, and clogged every fact with a thousand falsehoods; straying
+from his subject, to recount actions quite foreign to the skilful detail
+of a true history! O envy! thou root of infinite mischief, and
+canker-worm of virtue! The commission of all other vices, Sancho, is
+attended with some sort of delight; but envy produces nothing in the
+heart that harbours it but rage, rancour, and disgust.’—‘So say I,
+master,’ answered Sancho: ‘and I suppose, in this legend or history of
+us, which Batchelor Carrasco says he has seen, my reputation goes like a
+jolting hackney-coach, and is tossed about, as the saying is, like a
+tennis-ball; though in good faith, I never spoke an ill word of any
+inchanter whatsoever; nor am I rich enough to stir up envy in any living
+soul: true it is I am a little waggish, and have a small spice of
+knavery at bottom; but all this is crowned and covered with the broad
+cloak of my simplicity, which is always natural and never affected; and
+if there was nothing else but my believing, as I always do firmly and
+sincerely, in God, as well as in all that is owned and believed by the
+holy Roman catholick church; and my being a mortal enemy, as I certainly
+am, to the Jews, the historians ought to have mercy upon me, and use me
+tenderly in their writings: but let them say what they will, I naked was
+born, and naked remain; and if I lose nothing, as little I gain: though,
+provided I see myself mentioned in a book, and circulate through the
+world from hand to hand, I don’t value what they can say of me a fig’s
+end.’
+
+‘That observation,’ said Don Quixote, ‘puts me in mind of what happened
+to a famous poet of this age, who having composed a severe satire
+against the court ladies, omitted to insert one in particular, by name,
+so that it was doubtful whether or not she was implied in any part of
+the performance. The lady, thus neglected, complained to the poet,
+asking what he had seen in her character unworthy of being described
+among the rest, and desiring him to enlarge the satire, that she might
+be included in the supplement, or look to himself. The author complied
+with her request, lashing her in terms not fit to be named; and she was
+perfectly well satisfied with the fame of being infamous. Of a piece
+with this ambition was that reported of the shepherd, who set fire to
+the celebrated temple of Diana, reckoned one of the wonders of the
+world, with no other view than to render his name immortal; and although
+there was a severe edict, prohibiting all persons whatever from making
+mention of his name, either by word or writing, that he might not
+accomplish his aim, it is very well known at this day, that his name was
+Erostratus. This likewise bears an affinity to that occurrence which
+passed at Rome, between that great emperor Charles the Fifth, and a
+certain knight. The emperor went to visit the famous temple of the
+Rotunda, which was of old called the Pantheon, but is now more happily
+named the Church of All-Saints, the most entire edifice that remains of
+heathen Rome, and which most of all evinces the grandeur and
+magnificence of its founders. It is built in the shape of half an
+orange, of a vast extent, and very well lighted, though it has but one
+window, or rather a round lanthorn at its top, from whence the emperor
+considered the inside of the structure, being attended by a Roman
+knight, who described the excellence and ingenious contrivance of that
+vast and memorable work; and, after they had descended, said to him,
+“Sacred Sir, a thousand times was I seized with an inclination to clasp
+your majesty in my arms, and throw myself down from the lanthorn, in
+order to eternize my name.”—“I thank you,” replied the emperor, “for
+having resisted such a wicked suggestion, and henceforward will never
+give you an opportunity of repeating such a proof of your loyalty; avoid
+my presence, and never presume to speak to me again.” But,
+notwithstanding this severe command, he conferred upon him some
+extraordinary favour. My meaning, Sancho, is, that the desire of fame is
+a most active principle in the human breast. What dost thou imagine was
+the motive that prevailed on Horatius to throw himself from the bridge,
+armed at all points, into the depth of the river Tyber? what induced
+Mutius to burn his hand and arm? what impelled Curtius to dart himself
+into the flaming gulph which opened in the midst of Rome? what prompted
+Cæsar to pass the Rubicon, in spite of all the unfavourable omens that
+appeared? and, to give you a more modern instance, what consideration
+bore the ships, and left on shore, encompassed with enemies, those
+valiant Spaniards in the new world, under the conduct of the most
+courteous Cortez? All these, and many other great and various exploits,
+are, were, and shall be performed, in consequence of that desire of
+fame, which flatters mortals with a share of that immortality which they
+deem the merited reward of their renowned atchievements: although we
+catholick Christian knights-errant ought to pay greater attention to
+that glory which is to come, and eternally survives within the etherial
+and celestial mansions, than to the vanity of that same, which is
+obtained in this present perishable state, and which, considered in its
+longest duration, must end at length with the world itself, which hath
+its appointed period. Wherefore, Sancho, our works must not exceed the
+limits prescribed by the Christian religion which we profess. We must,
+in slaying giants, extirpate pride; get the better of envy by
+benevolence and virtue; resist anger with patience and forbearance;
+conquer gluttony and sloth by temperance and watchfulness; luxury and
+lewdness by our fidelity to those whom we constitute mistresses of our
+inclination; and idleness by travelling through all parts of the world
+in quest of opportunities to evince ourselves not only Christians, but,
+moreover, renowned knights. Thus, Sancho, thou seest the means of
+acquiring that superlative praise which produces fame and reputation.’
+
+‘All that your worship hath hitherto said,’ replied the squire, ‘I
+understand perfectly well; but, for all that, I wish you would dissolve
+me one doubt, which hath this moment struck me in the noddle.’—‘Thy
+meaning is resolve, Sancho,’ said the knight: ‘in good time, out with
+it, and I will give thee satisfaction, as far as my own knowledge
+extends.’—‘Tell me, then, Signior,’ proceeded Sancho, ‘where now are all
+those Julys and Augusts, and adventuresome knights who died so long
+ago?’—‘The Heathens,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘are doubtless in hell; and
+the Christians, if they were good catholicks, either in purgatory or in
+heaven.’—‘Right,’ said the squire; ‘let us next enquire, if the tombs
+that contain the bodies of that sort of gentry are lighted with silver
+lamps; or the walls of their chapels adorned with crutches, winding
+sheets, periwigs, legs, and eyes, made of wax; if not, pray in what
+manner are they adorned?’ To this question Don Quixote answered, that
+the sepulchres of the heathen heroes were, for the most part, sumptuous
+temples; the ashes of Julius Cæsar were placed upon the top of a stone
+pyramid, of vast dimensions, still to be seen at Rome, under the name of
+St. Peter’s obelisk; the emperor Adrian’s tomb was a building as large
+as a good village, formerly called Moles Adriani, but at present the
+Castle of St. Angelo; and Queen Artemisia buried her husband Mausolus in
+a monument, that was accounted one of the seven wonders of the world;
+but none of these sepulchres, nor any other belonging to the heathens,
+were adorned with shrouds, offerings, or marks, to denote the sanctity
+of the persons there buried. ‘So I perceive,’ said Sancho; ‘and now tell
+me, whether it be more meritorious to slay a giant, or raise up the dead
+to life again?’—‘The answer is plain,’ replied the knight; ‘it is more
+meritorious to re-animate the dead.’—‘Then I have caught you fairly,’
+cried the squire; ‘he who revives the dead, restores sight to the blind,
+straightens the crooked, heals the sick; before whose tomb the lamps
+continually burn, whose chapels are filled with devout people who adore
+his relicks upon their knees; I say, he shall have more fame in this
+world, and that which is to come, than all the heathen emperors and
+knights-errant that ever lived have left or will leave behind them.’—‘I
+am very sensible of the truth of what you alledge,’ answered the knight.
+‘Now this same, this grace, this prerogative, or what you call it,’
+resumed the squire, ‘is veiled in the bodies and relicks of the saints;
+and with the approbation and licence of our holy mother church, they
+have their lamps, tapers, shrouds, crutches, pictures, periwigs, eyes,
+and legs, whereby the devotion of the people is increased, and their own
+Christian fame promulgated; the bodies and relicks of saints are carried
+upon the shoulders of kings, who kiss the very fragments of their bones,
+with which they enrich and adorn their most precious altars and
+oratories.’—‘What wouldst thou have me infer from all this?’ said Don
+Quixote. ‘My meaning,’ replied Sancho, ‘is, that we should turn saints
+immediately, and so with the greater dispatch acquire that fame which we
+are in search of; and pray take notice, Signior, it was but yesterday,
+or t’other day, as one may say in comparison, that they canonized and
+beatified two bare-footed friars; and people now think it a great
+happiness to be allowed to touch and kiss the iron chains with which
+they girded and tormented their poor bodies; and which are in greater
+esteem than the sword of Orlando, which, as the report goes, is kept in
+the armoury of our lord the king, whom God in Heaven bless: wherefore,
+dear master, it is better to be an humble friar of any order whatever,
+than the most valiant knight that ever breathed; for, with God, two
+dozen of disciplines will more avail than as many thousand back-strokes,
+whether they be bestowed on giants, dragons, or hobgoblins.’—‘All this
+is very true,’ answered Don Quixote; ‘but we cannot all be friars; and
+various are the paths by which God conducts the good to Heaven. Chivalry
+itself is a religious order, and some that were knights are now saints
+in glory.’—‘True,’ resumed the squire, ‘but I have often heard it
+observed, that there are more friars than knights in Heaven.’—‘The
+reason,’ said the knight, ‘is, because there is a greater number of
+monks than of the other order.’—‘And yet there are many knights-errant,’
+replied the squire. ‘There is, indeed, a good number,’ answered Don
+Quixote; ‘but very few that deserve the name.’
+
+In this, and other such discourse, they passed that night and the
+following day, without encountering any thing worthy of being mentioned;
+a circumstance that chagrined our knight not a little. Next day,
+however, in the twilight, they descried the great city of Toboso; at
+sight of which Don Quixote’s spirits were exhilarated, and Sancho’s
+depressed, because he did not know where to find the house of Dulcinea,
+whom he had never seen, neither had his master ever beheld this peerless
+princess; so that the one suffered perturbation from the desire of
+seeing her, and the other because he had not seen her; and, indeed,
+Sancho could not contrive how to manage the affair, when his master
+should send him to Toboso. In fine, Don Quixote resolved to enter the
+city in the dark; and with this view they tarried in a grove of oaks,
+not far from the gate, till the night was advanced; then entered the
+town, where they met with things which amount to things indeed.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IX.
+ WHICH CONTAINS WHAT YOU WILL SEE IN THE PERUSAL OF IT.
+
+
+It was midnight, or thereabout, when Don Quixote and Sancho, leaving
+their covert, entered the city of Toboso, which was then in profound
+silence, all its inhabitants being asleep, and lying with outstretched
+legs, as the saying is. The night was clear, though Sancho wished it
+otherwise, that in the darkness he might find an excuse for his
+imposition; and nothing was heard in the whole town but the barking of
+dogs, which thundered in Don Quixote’s ears, and very much disturbed
+the heart of Sancho; yet, from time to time, they were saluted by the
+braying of asses, the grunting of hogs, and the mewing of cats; which
+different notes being augmented by the stillness of the night, were
+considered as ill omens by the enamoured knight, who nevertheless said
+to his squire, ‘Son Sancho, lead on to the palace of Dulcinea, whom,
+perhaps, we shall find awake.’—‘Body of the sun!’ cried Sancho, ‘what
+palace should I lead to? when I saw her highness she was in a very
+small cottage.’—‘Then she must have been retired,’ answered the
+knight, ‘to some small apartment of her castle, to divert herself with
+her damsels, according to the use and custom of princesses and ladies
+of rank.’—‘Signior,’ said the squire, ‘since your worship, in spite of
+all that I can say, will have my Lady Dulcinea’s house to be a castle,
+is this an hour to find the gate open? and will it be decent for us to
+throw the whole family into confusion and uproar, by making a racket,
+and demanding entrance, at this time of night? Do you think we are
+going to a bawdy-house, like your fornicators, who rap and knock, and
+enter at any hour of the four and twenty?’—‘First of all, let us
+fairly find the castle,’ replied the knight, ‘and then I will tell
+thee what is to be done; and take notice, Sancho, for either mine
+eye-sight fails me, or that great shadowy building before us is the
+palace of Dulcinea.’—‘Advance, then,’ answered Sancho, ‘perhaps it may
+be so; and yet, though I should see it with mine eyes, and touch it
+with my hands, I will believe it as much as I believe it is now twelve
+o’clock at noon.’
+
+Don Quixote, however, proceeded; and having gone about two hundred
+paces, came up with the building that produced the shadow, and
+perceiving it an high steeple, found it was no castle, but in reality
+the principal church in town. ‘We are arrived at the cathedral, Sancho,’
+said he. ‘So I perceive,’ replied the squire, ‘and God grant we be not
+arrived at our graves! for it is no good sign to be strolling about
+church-yards at these hours: besides, I have already told your worship,
+(if my memory serves me right) that my lady’s house stands in a blind
+alley.’—‘The curse of God light on thee, for a blockhead as thou art!’
+cried Don Quixote; ‘where didst thou ever hear of castles and royal
+palaces, built in blind alleys?’—‘Signior,’ answered Sancho, ‘every
+country has its own customs; and perhaps it is the custom here, in
+Toboso, to raise palaces and grand edifices in blind alleys; I therefore
+humbly beseech your worship to let me search all the streets and alleys
+I shall meet with; and who knows but in some corner I may light on this
+same castle, which I wish the dogs had devoured, before it had brought
+us to such perplexity and confusion?’—‘Talk respectfully, Sancho, of
+those things that appertain to my mistress,’ said the knight; ‘let us
+spend our holiday in peace, and not throw the helve after the
+hatchet.’—‘Well, I will be pacified,’ answered the squire; ‘though how
+can I endure your worship should expect that I who have seen my lady’s
+house but once, should know it always, and even find it out in the
+middle of the night, when you yourself are at a loss, though you must
+have seen it a thousand times?’—‘You distract me, Sancho,’ cried Don
+Quixote; ‘heark ye, heretick, have not I told you a thousand times, that
+in all the days of my life, I never saw the peerless Dulcinea, nor ever
+crossed the threshold of her palace, being only enamoured by hearsay,
+and the great reputation of her beauty and discretion?’—‘I hear your
+worship say so now,’ replied Sancho; ‘and tell you in my turn, that if
+you have not seen her, no more have I.’—‘That is impossible,’ resumed
+the knight; ‘at least, you told me you had seen her winnowing wheat,
+when you brought back an answer to the letter with which I sent you to
+her habitation.’—‘Truly, Signior, you must not depend upon that,’
+answered Sancho; ‘for you must know, my seeing her, and bringing back
+the answer, was also upon hearsay; and I am as incapable of giving any
+account of the Lady Dulcinea, as I am of pulling the moon by the nose.’
+‘Sancho! Sancho!’ said Don Quixote, ‘there is a time for jesting, and a
+time when jokes are very unseasonable; though I say I have never seen or
+spoke with the mistress of my soul, there is no reason for thy making
+the same declaration, which thou knowest is so contrary to the truth.’
+
+While they thus conversed together, they perceived a person passing that
+way with a couple of mules; and by the noise of a plough-share, which
+they dragged along, justly concluded that he was a peasant who had risen
+before day to go to labour: they were not mistaken; it was actually a
+labourer, who went along singing the ballad of Ronscevalles[149]; which
+the knight no sooner heard, than he exclaimed, ‘Let me die, Sancho! if
+any thing lucky will befal us to-night; don’t you hear what that peasant
+is singing?’—‘Yes,’ said Sancho; ‘but what has the defeat at
+Ronscevalles to do with our affair? If he had sung the ballad of
+Calaynos, it would have been the same thing with regard to our good or
+evil fortune.’
+
+Don Quixote said to the peasant, who was by this time come-up, ‘Can you
+tell me, honest friend, and the blessing of God attend you, in what part
+of this city stands the palace of the peerless princess Donna Dulcinea
+del Toboso?’—‘Signor,’ answered the young man, ‘I am a stranger, and
+have been but a few days in town, in the service of a rich farmer, whose
+lands I till; but in that house that fronts you live the curate and
+sexton of the parish, and either or both can give your worship an
+account of that same princess, for they keep a register of all the
+inhabitants of Toboso, though I believe, there is no such thing as a
+princess in the whole place: there are, indeed, many ladies of fashion,
+and every one may be a princess in her own house.’—‘She whom I ask for
+must be one of these,’ said the knight. ‘It may be so,’ answered the
+peasant; ‘but I shall be overtaken by the morning.’ So saying, he drove
+on his mules, without waiting for any more questions.
+
+Sancho, seeing his matter in suspence, and over and above dissatisfied,
+‘Signior,’ said he, ‘day begins to break, and it will not be altogether
+convenient to let the sun find us here in the street: we had better quit
+the city, and look out for some wood in the neighbourhood, where your
+worship may enjoy the cool shade; and I will return by day, and search
+every hole and cranny in Toboso for this house, castle, or palace of my
+lady, and it will be very unfortunate, indeed, if I cannot find it; and
+if I have the good luck, to meet with her ladyship, I will tell her
+where and how I have left your worship, in expectation of her contriving
+some means whereby you may visit her, without any prejudice to her
+honour and reputation.’—‘Sancho,’ cried Don Quixote, ‘thou hast uttered
+a thousand sentences within the compass of a few words: the counsel thou
+hast given me I relish, and most willingly receive. Come, my son, let us
+go in quest of some thicket, where I may embower myself, while thou
+shalt return to seek, see, and talk with my mistress, from whose
+courtesy and discretion I hope to receive more than miraculous favours.’
+
+Sancho burned with impatience to see his master fairly out of town, that
+he might not detect the falshood of the answer which he pretended to
+bring from Dulcinea, while he remained in the Brown Mountain: he
+therefore pressed him to depart, and about two miles from the city they
+found a thicket or wood, where Don Quixote took up his residence, while
+Sancho went back to commune with Dulcinea; and, in the course of his
+embassy, met with adventures that demand new credit and fresh attention.
+
+Footnote 149:
+
+ Like our Chevy Chase.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. X.
+ GIVES AN ACCOUNT OF THE STRATAGEM WHICH SANCHO PRACTISED,
+ IN ORDER TO INCHANT THE LADY DULCINEA
+ —WITH OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES EQUALLY LUDICROUS AND TRUE.
+
+
+The author of this stupendous history, when he comes to relate what is
+contained in this chapter, says, he would have willingly passed it over
+in silence, because he was afraid that it would not be believed; for
+here the madness of Don Quixote soars to the highest pitch of
+extravagance that can be imagined, and even by two bow shots, at least,
+exceeds all credit and conception: yet, notwithstanding this jealousy
+and apprehension, he has recounted it in the same manner as it happened,
+without adding to the history, or detracting one tittle from the truth,
+undervaluing the risk he runs of being deemed apocryphal: and surely he
+was in the right; for truth may bend, but will never break, and always
+surmounts falshood, as oil floats above water. Wherefore he proceeds in
+the narrative, saying—
+
+Don Quixote having taken his station in the forest, grove, or wood, near
+to the great city of Toboso, ordered Sancho to go back to town, and not
+return to his presence before he should have spoken to his mistress, and
+begged, in his name, that she would be pleased to grant an interview to
+her captive knight, and deign to bestow upon him her blessing, through
+which he might expect the most happy issue to all his attempts and
+enterprizes.
+
+The squire, having undertaken to execute this command, and to bring back
+as favourable an answer as he had brought the first time; ‘Go, my son,’
+said the knight, ‘and be not confounded when you find yourself beamed
+upon by that resplendent sun of beauty, which is the object of your
+enquiry: happy thou, above all the squires that ever lived! Be sure to
+retain in thy memory every circumstance of thy reception; observe if she
+changes colour, while thou art delivering my message; if she is
+discomposed, and under confusion at the mention of my name; whether she
+sinks upon her cushion, or happens at the time to be seated under the
+rich canopy of her authority; if she be standing, take notice whether or
+not she sometimes supports herself on one foot, sometimes on the other;
+and if she repeats her answer more than once, changing it from kind to
+harsh, from sour to amorous; and if she lifts up her hand to adjust her
+hair, although it be not disorderd; finally, son, mark all her gestures
+and emotions; and if thou bringest me an exact detail of them, I shall
+be able to divine her most abstruse sentiments, touching the concerns of
+my passion: for know, Sancho, if thou art still to learn, among lovers,
+the least gesticulation in their external behaviour, while the
+conversation turns upon their amours, is, as it were, a messenger that
+brings a most certain account of what passes within the soul. Go,
+friend, and enjoy thy fate, so much more favourable than thy master’s;
+and return with much more success than that which I dread and expect in
+this cruel solitude, where I now remain.’—‘I go,’ replied Sancho, ‘and
+will return in a twinkling; therefore, good your worship, do encourage
+that little heart of yours, which, at present, must be no bigger than a
+hazle-nut; and consider, as the saying is, A stout heart flings
+misfortune; Where you meet with no hooks, you need expect no bacon; and
+again, The hare often starts, where the hunter leasts expects her. This
+I observe, because, though we did not find the palace and castle of my
+lady in the night; now that it is day, I hope to stumble upon it, when I
+least expect to see it; and if so be I once catch it, let me alone with
+her.’—‘Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘God grant me better fortune in my
+desires than you have in the application of the proverbs you utter.’
+
+This was no sooner said, than Sancho switching Dapple, quitted the
+knight, who remained on horseback, resting his legs upon his stirrups,
+and leaning upon his lance, his imagination being engrossed by the most
+melancholy suggestions. Here let us leave him, and proceed with Sancho
+Panza; who, parting from his master, in equal perplexity and confusion,
+no sooner found himself clear of the wood, than looking back, and
+perceiving that Don Quixote was not in sight, he alighted from his ass,
+and sitting down at the root of a tree, began to catechise himself in
+these words: ‘Brother Sancho, be so good as to let us know, where your
+worship is going? Are you in search of some stray beast?—No, truly!—What
+then is your errand?—Why, really, I am going in search of a thing of
+nought, a princess, God wot! and in her, the sun and the whole heaven of
+beauty. And, pray, where may you expect to meet with this that you
+mention, Sancho?—Where, but in the great city of Toboso.—Well, and by
+whose order are you going upon this enquiry?—By order of the renowned
+knight Don Quixote de La Mancha, the righter of wrongs, who gives thirst
+to the hungry, and food to those that are dry.—All this is mighty well;
+but do you know the house, Sancho?—My master says, it must be some royal
+palace, or stately castle.—But have you never once seen this same
+princess?—Neither I nor he ever set eyes on her.—And do you think it
+will be well bestowed, if the inhabitants of Toboso, getting notice that
+you are come with an intention to wheedle away their princesses, and
+disturb their dames, should break every bone of your skin, and grind
+your ribs to a paste, with pure cudgelling?—Verily they would not be
+much to blame, unless they considered, that I do nothing but execute my
+master’s command, and being only a messenger, am not in fault.—Never
+trust to that, Sancho; for the Manchegans are as cholerick as
+honourable, and will not suffer themselves to be tickled by any person
+whatever. Ecod! if you are once smoked, you will come but scurvily
+off.—Bodikins! since that be the case, why should I plague myself,
+seeking a cat with three legs, for another man’s pleasure?—Besides, you
+may as well seek for a magpye in Rabena, or a batchelor in Salamanca, as
+for Dulcinea in Toboso.—The devil, and none but the devil, has sent me
+on this fool’s errand!’
+
+The result of this soliloquy was another, that broke out in these words:
+‘There is a remedy for every thing but death, under whose yoke we must
+all pass, will we nill we, when this life is at an end. This master of
+mine, as I have perceived by a thousand instances, is mad enough to be
+shackled among straw; and truly I am not much behind him in folly; nay,
+indeed, I am more mad than he, seeing I serve and follow him, if there
+be any truth in the proverb that says, Tell me your company, and I will
+tell you your manners: and the other, Not he with whom you was bred, but
+he by whom you are fed. Now he being, as he certainly is, a madman; aye,
+and so mad as for the most part to mistake one thing for another,
+affirming white to be black, and black to be white; as plainly appeared
+when he took the windmills for giants, the mules of the friars for
+dromedaries, the flocks of sheep for opposite armies; and a great many
+other things in the same stile: I say, it will be no difficult matter to
+make him believe the first country-wench I shall meet with to be his
+mistress Dulcinea; and if he boggles at swallowing the cheat, I will
+swear lustily to the truth of what I affirm; and if he swears also, I
+will swear again; and if he is positive, I will be more positive; so
+that come what will, my obstinacy shall always exceed his. Perhaps, by
+this stubborn behaviour, I shall get rid of all such troublesome
+messages for the future; when he finds what disagreeable answers I
+bring; or perhaps, which I rather believe, he will think that one of
+those inchanters, who, he says, bear him a grudge, hath transmographied
+her shape, in order to vex and disquiet him.’
+
+Sancho having found out this expedient, was quite calm and satisfied in
+his mind, and thinking he had brought the business to a good bearing,
+remained where he was till the evening, that Don Quixote might think he
+had sufficient time to execute his orders, and return. Everything
+succeeded so well to his wish, that when he got up to mount Dapple, he
+descried three country wenches riding from Toboso, towards the place
+where he stood, upon three young he or she asses, for the author does
+not declare their sex; though in all likelihood they were of the female
+gender, as your village maidens commonly ride upon she-asses; but this
+being a circumstance of small importance, we shall not give ourselves
+any trouble to ascertain it.
+
+In short, Sancho no sooner perceived the wenches, than he rode back at a
+round trot to his master, whom he found sighing bitterly, and pouring
+forth a thousand amorous complaints; the knight seeing him arrive,
+‘Well, friend Sancho,’ said he, ‘is this day to be marked with a white
+or black stone?’—‘Your worship,’ answered the squire, ‘had better mark
+it with red ochre, like the titles on a professor’s chair, that it may
+be seen the better by those who look at it.’—‘At that rate,’ replied Don
+Quixote, ‘thou bringest me good news.’—‘So good,’ answered Sancho, ‘that
+your worship has nothing to do but to mount Rozinante, and gallop into
+the plain, where you will see my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso and two of her
+damsels coming this way to pay you a visit.’—‘Gracious God!’ cried the
+knight, ‘what is that you say, friend Sancho? Take care how you deceive
+me! endeavouring, by feigned joy, to enliven my real sadness.’—‘What
+should I get by deceiving your worship?’ said the squire. ‘Besides, you
+can easily be satisfied of the truth of what I say. Make haste, Signior,
+come and see our mistress the princess, arrayed and adorned; in short,
+as she ought to be; her damsels and she are all one flame of gold; all
+covered with pearls, diamonds, rubies, and brocade, more than ten hands
+deep; their hair flowing loose about their shoulders, like so many
+sun-beams waving with the wind; and moreover they are mounted on three
+pied belfreys, that it would do one’s heart good to see
+them.’—‘Palfreys, you mean, Sancho,’ said the knight. ‘There is no great
+difference,’ answered the squire, ‘between palfreys and belfreys; but,
+be that as it will, they are the finest creatures one would desire to
+see, especially my Lady Dulcinea, who is enough to stupify the five
+senses.’—‘Come, then, my son,’ replied Don Quixote; ‘and as a gratuity
+for bringing this piece of news, equally welcome and unexpected, I
+bestow upon thee the spoils of the first adventure I shall atchieve; and
+if thou art not satisfied with that recompence, I will give unto thee
+the foals that shall this year be brought forth by my three mares, which
+thou knowest we left with young upon our town common.’—‘I stick to the
+foals,’ cried the squire, ‘for as to the spoils of our first adventure,
+I question whether or not they will be worth accepting.’
+
+By this time, they were clear of the wood, and in sight of the three
+country-maidens; when the knight lifting up his eyes, and surveying the
+whole road to Toboso, without seeing any thing but them, began to be
+troubled in mind, and asked Sancho if the ladies had got out of town
+when he left them. ‘Out of town?’ said Sancho. ‘What! are your worship’s
+eyes in the nape of your neck, that you don’t see them coming towards
+us, glittering and shining like the sun at noon?’—‘I see nobody,’
+replied the knight, ‘but three country-wenches riding upon asses.’—‘God
+deliver me from the devil!’ cried the squire, ‘is it possible that three
+belfreys, or how-d’ye-call-ums, white as the driven snow, should appear
+no better than asses in your worship’s eyes? By the Lord! I’ll give you
+leave to pluck off every hair of my beard if that be the case.’—‘Then I
+tell thee, Sancho,’ said his master, ‘they are as certainly he or
+she-asses as I am Don Quixote, and thou Sancho Panza; at least, so they
+seem to me.’—‘Hold your tongue, Signior,’ replied Sancho, ‘and never
+talk in that manner, but snuff your eyes, and go and make your reverence
+to the mistress of your heart, who is just at hand.’
+
+So saying, he advanced towards the damsels, and alighting from Dapple,
+seized one of their beasts by the halter; then fell upon his knees
+before the rider, to whom he addressed himself in this manner: ‘Queen,
+princess, and duchess of beauty, will your highness and greatness be
+pleased to receive into grace and favour your captive knight, who sits
+there stupified to stone, utterly confounded and deprived of pulse, at
+seeing himself in presence of your magnificence; I am Sancho Panza his
+squire, and he is the perplexed and down trodden knight Don Quixote de
+La Mancha, alias the Knight of the Rueful Countenance.’
+
+[Illustration: Don Quixote Worships His Lady.]
+
+By this time Don Quixote having placed himself on his knees, by Sancho,
+gazed with staring eyes and troubled vision, upon the object which the
+squire called queen and princess; and perceiving nothing but a
+country-wench’s visage, and that none of the most agreeable, for it was
+round and flat-nosed, he remained in the utmost confusion and surprize,
+without daring to open his lips. The other two damsels were equally
+astonished at seeing a couple of such different figures kneeling before
+their companion, whom they had detained; but she, breaking silence,
+pronounced in a most ungracious and resentful manner, ‘Get out of the
+way, and let us pass, for we are in a hurry.’ To this apostrophe Sancho
+replied, ‘O princess and universal Lady of Toboso! do not your
+magnificent bowels yearn, to see upon his marrow-bones before your
+sublimated presence, the very pillar and prop of knight-errantry?’ One
+of the other two hearing this pathetick remonstrance, bauled aloud,
+‘Would I had the currying that ass’s hide of thine: mind, forsooth, how
+your small gentry come and pass their gibes upon us country-folks; as if
+we could not give them as good as they bring. Go about your business,
+friend, and leave us to mind our’n, and so God b’w’ye.’
+
+Here the knight interposing, said, ‘Rise, Sancho, I can plainly perceive
+that fortune, not yet tired of persecuting me, hath barred every avenue
+by which any comfort could arrive at the miserable soul that this
+carcase contains: and thou! the essence of every thing that is desirable
+in nature, thou sum of human perfection, and sole remedy of this
+afflicted heart, by which thou art adored! although that malicious
+inchanter, my inveterate enemy, hath spread clouds and cataracts before
+mine eyes, to them and them only changing and transforming thy
+unequalled beauty into the appearance of a poor country-wench; if he
+hath not also altered my figure into that of some frightful spectre
+horrid to thy view, deign to look upon me with complacency and love;
+because thou mayest perceive by this submissive posture I have assumed,
+even before thy person thus disguised, the humility with which my soul
+adores thy charms.’—‘You may go kiss my grannam,’ cried the damsel; ‘I’m
+a fine Madam, truly, to hear such gibberish; we should be more obliged
+to you if you would get out of our way, and let us go about our own
+affairs.’
+
+Sancho accordingly quitted his hold, leaving her free to go whither she
+would, and highly pleased with the issue of his stratagem. The
+supposititious Dulcinea no sooner found herself at liberty, than
+pricking her palfrey with a goad which was in the end of a stick she had
+in her hand, the creature galloped, across the field with great speed,
+and feeling the application more severe than usual, began to plunge and
+kick in such a manner, that my lady fell to the ground. Don Quixote
+perceiving this accident, ran with great eagerness to raise her up, and
+Sancho made haste to adjust and gird on the pannel, which had got under
+the ass’s belly. This affair being set to rights, the knight went to
+lift his inchanted mistress in his arms, and placed her on her seat
+again; but she, starting up from the ground, saved him that trouble;
+for, retreating a few paces backwards, she made a small run, and
+clapping both hands upon the crupper, leaped upon the pannel as nimble
+as a falcon, seating herself astride like a man.
+
+‘By St. Roque!’ cried Sancho, ‘my lady mistress is as light as a hawk,
+and can teach the most dextrous horseman to ride; at one jump she has
+sprung into the saddle, and, without spurs, made her palfrey fly like
+any zebra: and truly, her damsels are not a whit behind; for they go
+scouring along as swift as the wind.’ This was actually true; for
+Dulcinea was no sooner remounted than the other two trotted after her,
+and at last disappeared, after having gone more than half a league, at
+full speed, without once looking behind them.
+
+Don Quixote followed them with his eyes, until they vanished; then
+turning to his squire, ‘Sancho,’ said he, ‘thou seest how I am
+persecuted by inchanters, and mayest perceive how far the malice and
+grudge they bear me extends; seeing they have deprived me of the
+pleasure I should have enjoyed at the sight of my mistress in her own
+beauteous form. Surely, I was born to be an example of misery; the very
+mark and butt for all the arrows of misfortune; nay, thou art also to
+observe, Sancho, that those traitors were not contented with a simple
+metamorphosis of my Dulcinea, but have transformed and changed her into
+the base and homely figure of that country-wench; robbing her, at the
+same time, of that which is so peculiar to ladies of fashion, I mean,
+that sweet scent which is the result of their living among flowers and
+perfume; for know, my friend, when I went to lift Dulcinea upon her
+palfrey, as thou sayest it was, though to me it seemed neither more nor
+less than a she-ass, I was almost suffocated and poisoned with a whiff
+of undigested garlick!’
+
+‘O ye miscreants!’ cried Sancho, ‘O ye malicious and mischievous
+inchanters! would to God, I could see you all strung by the gills, like
+so many haddocks! much you know, much you can, and much more will you
+still be doing. Was it not enough, ye knaves, to change the pearls of my
+lady’s eyes into a couple of cork-tree galls, and her hair of shining
+gold into the bristles of a red cow’s tail; and, in short, so
+transmography every feature of her countenance; without your meddling
+with the sweetness of her breath, by which they might have discovered
+what was concealed beneath that bark of homeliness: though, to tell the
+truth, I saw not her homeliness but beauty, which was exceedingly
+increased by a mole upon her upper lip, something like a whisker,
+consisting of seven or eight red hairs, like threads of gold, as long as
+my hand.’—‘According to the correspondence which the moles of the face
+have with those of the body,’ said Don Quixote, ‘Dulcinea must have just
+such another on the brawny part of her thigh, of the same side; but
+hairs of such a length are, methinks, rather too long for moles.’—‘I do
+assure your worship,’ answered Sancho, ‘they seemed as if they had come
+into the world with her.’—‘I very well believe what you say, my friend,’
+replied the knight; ‘for nature hath bestowed nothing on Dulcinea but
+what is perfectly finished; wherefore, if thou hadst seen an hundred
+such moles, in her would they be so many moons and resplendent stars:
+but tell me, Sancho, that which you adjusted, and which to me seemed a
+pannel, was it a plain pad or a side-saddle?’—‘It was a great
+side-saddle,’ answered the squire, ‘so rich that half the kingdom would
+not buy it.’—‘And why could not I see all this!’ said the knight. ‘I say
+again, Sancho, and will repeat it a thousand times, that I am the most
+unfortunate of men.’
+
+The rogue Sancho, finding his master so dextrously gulled, and hearing
+him talk in this mad strain, could scarce refrain from laughing in his
+face: in fine, a good deal more of this sort of conversation having
+passed between them, they remounted their beasts, and took the road to
+Saragosa, where they expected to arrive time enough to be present at the
+solemn festival yearly celebrated in that famous city; but before they
+accomplished their journey, they met with adventures, which, for their
+variety, novelty, and greatness, deserve to be read and recorded, as in
+the sequel.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XI.
+ OF THE STRANGE ADVENTURE WHICH BEFEL THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE,
+ WITH THE CART OR WAGGON CONTAINING THE PARLIAMENT OF DEATH.
+
+
+Don Quixote jogged along exceedingly pensive, his thoughts being
+engrossed by the scurvy trick which the inchanters had played him, in
+transforming his mistress Dulcinea into the disagreeable figure of a
+country-wench; and he could not conceive what remedy he should find for
+restoring her to her former shape. So much was he absorbed in this
+reflection, that he insensibly dropped the reins upon the neck of
+Rozinante, who being sensible of the liberty he enjoyed, at every two
+steps turned aside to take a pluck at the inviting pasture with which
+those fields abounded. At length Sancho Panza rouzed him from this fit
+of musing, saying, ‘Signior, melancholy was not made for beasts, but for
+men; and yet if men encourage melancholy too much, they become no better
+than beasts; good your worship, be contented, mind what you’re about,
+take hold of Rozinante’s reins, rouze up, awake, and shew that gaiety
+which all knights-errant ought to have. What the devil is the meaning of
+all this faint-heartedness? Sure you don’t know whether we are here or
+in France! let Satan rather run away with all the Dulcineas upon earth;
+for the health of one single knight is of more value than all the
+inchanted persons or transformations that ever were known.’—‘Peace,
+Sancho,’ cried Don Quixote, with a voice that was none of the faintest,
+‘Peace, I say; and utter not such blasphemies against that inchanted
+lady, of whose disgrace and misfortune I am the sole cause: for, from
+the envy of my wicked foes, her mischance hath sprung.’—‘So I say,’
+answered Sancho; ‘for, He that hath seen her before, let him look at her
+now, and her fortune deplore.’—‘Well mayest thou make that observation,
+Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘seeing thou sawest her in the full perfection
+of her beauty; as the inchantment did not extend so far as to disturb
+thy vision, or conceal her charms from thy view. No! against me alone,
+and my longing eyes, was the force of its poison directed! Yet,
+nevertheless, Sancho, I cannot help observing, that you made but an
+indifferent picture of her beauty; for if I rightly remember, you
+likened her eyes to pearls; now, eyes resembling pearls, are more
+peculiar to dead whitings than to living beauties; and, in my
+conjecture, Dulcinea’s must be rather like green emeralds, arched over
+with two celestial rainbows: those pearls, therefore, must be compared
+to her teeth, which, without doubt, you have mistaken for her
+eyes.’—‘Nothing more likely,’ answered the squire, ‘for I was as much
+confounded by her beauty as your worship by her ugliness; but let us
+recommend this whole business to God, who fore-ordains every thing that
+is to happen in this vale of tears; in this evil world of ours, where
+scarce any thing is to be had, without a mixture of falshood, knavery,
+and sin. One thing, dear Sir, of all others, gives me the greatest pain;
+and that is, to think what method is to be fallen upon, when your
+worship, after having vanquished some giant or knight, shall command him
+to go and present himself before the beauty of the Lady Dulcinea, where
+will this poor giant, or this poor miserable object of a vanquished
+knight, find out the person to whom he is sent? Methinks I see them
+strolling up and down, and gaping about thro’ the streets of Toboso, in
+quest of my Lady Dulcinea; and if they should stumble upon her in their
+way, they would no more know her than they would know my
+father.’—‘Sancho,’ resumed Don Quixote, ‘perhaps the inchantment will
+not extend so far as to disguise Dulcinea to the eyes of those
+vanquished giants and knights who shall present themselves before her;
+and in one or two of the first whom I shall conquer and send thither, we
+will make the experiment, commanding them to return and give me an
+account of what shall happen to them, with regard to that
+affair.’—‘Truly, Signior,’ said Sancho, ‘I heartily approve of your
+worship’s scheme; because, by this artifice, we will soon learn what we
+want to know; and if so be that she is only concealed from your worship,
+you are the most unfortunate person of the two; for as my Lady Dulcinea
+enjoys good health and satisfaction, we will comfort ourselves, and make
+the best of a bad bargain, going about in quest of adventures, and
+leaving the rest to time, who is the best physician for these and other
+greater calamities.’
+
+Don Quixote would have replied, but was prevented by the appearance of a
+sort of waggon that crossed the road, full of the strangest figures that
+can be imagined, and conducted by a frightful dæmon that drove the
+mules. The cart being altogether open, without tilt or cover, the first
+figure that struck the eyes of Don Quixote, was Death itself in human
+shape; next to which appeared an angel with broad painted wings; on one
+side, stood an emperor with a crown (seemingly) of gold, upon his head;
+and hard by Death, was the god Cupid, with his bow, quiver, and arrows,
+but without the bandage on his eyes; there was likewise a knight armed
+cap-a-pee, except that he wore neither helmet nor head-piece, but a hat
+adorned with a plume of variegated feathers. Besides these, there were
+other personages of different countenance and dress; so that the whole
+groupe appearing of a sudden, discomposed our hero a little, and filled
+the heart of Sancho with fear; but Don Quixote soon recollected himself,
+and rejoiced, because he looked upon it as some new and perilous
+adventure. On this supposition, and with an effort of courage capable of
+encountering the greatest danger, he placed himself before the wain, and
+with a loud and threatening voice, pronounced, ‘Driver, coachman, devil,
+or whatsoever thou art, tell me straight, whither thou art going, and
+who those people are whom thou drivest in that carriage, which looks
+more like Charon’s bark than any modern vehicle.’ The devil stopping his
+waggon very courteously, replied, ‘Signior, we are players belonging to
+the company of Angulo el Malo, and have, this morning, which is the
+octave of Corpus Christi, been representing, in a village on the other
+side of yon hill, the piece called the Parliament of Death, which we are
+going to act over again, this very evening, in that other village now in
+sight; we therefore travel in our habits, to save ourselves the trouble
+of undressing and dressing anew; this young man plays the part of Death,
+that other represents an angel; the woman, who is the author’s wife,
+acts the queen; he with the plume of feathers is our hero; the emperor
+you may distinguish by his gilded crown; and I am the devil, which is
+one of the best characters in the performance, for I myself am the chief
+actor of this company. If your worship is desirous of knowing any thing
+else concerning our affairs, question me freely, and I will answer with
+the utmost punctuality, for being a devil I understand every thing.’
+
+‘By the faith of a knight-errant!’ said Don Quixote, ‘when I first
+descried the waggon, I thought myself on the eve of some great
+adventure; and now I affirm, that a man ought to examine things with
+more senses than one, before he can be assured of the truth; proceed, my
+honest friends, a God’s name, in order to exhibit your entertainment,
+and if I can serve you in any respect, you may command my endeavours,
+which shall be heartily and freely exerted for your advantage; for, from
+my childhood, I have been a great lover of masques and theatrical
+representations.’
+
+While this conversation passed between them, they chanced to be
+overtaken by one of the company, dressed in motley, hung round with a
+number of morrice-bells, with a pole in his hand, to the end of which
+were tied three blown ox-bladders. This merry-andrew advancing to Don
+Quixote, began to fence with his pole, beating the ground with his
+bladders, and skipping about, so that his bells rung continually: till
+at length Rozinante, being disturbed at the uncommon apparition, took
+the bridle between his teeth; and the knight being unable to restrain
+him, began to gallop across the plain with more nimbleness than could
+have been expected from the bones of his anatomy. Sancho seeing his
+master in danger of falling, leaped from Dapple, and ran with all
+dispatch to give him all possible assistance; but before he came up, the
+knight was overthrown close by Rozinante, who had come to the ground
+with his lord; and this was the usual end and consequence of all his
+frolicksome adventures. Scarce had Sancho quitted his beast, to run to
+the assistance of his master, when the bladder shaking devil jumped upon
+Dapple, and began to belabour him with his rattle; so that being
+frightened at the noise, rather than with the smart of the application,
+he took to his heels, and flew towards the village where they intended
+to perform. Sancho seeing, at the same time, the career of Dapple, and
+his master’s fall, scarce knew which of these misfortunes he ought first
+to remedy; but at length, as became a loyal servant and trusty squire,
+his love for his master prevailed over his tenderness for the beast;
+though every time he saw the bladders railed aloft, and discharged upon
+Dapple’s buttocks, he felt the pangs and tortures of death, and would
+rather have received every thwack upon the apple of his own eye than
+have seen it fall upon the least hair of his ass’s tail.
+
+In this state of perplexity and tribulation, he arrived at the place
+where Don Quixote lay in a very indifferent plight, and helping him to
+mount Rozinante, ‘Signior,’ said he, ‘the devil has run away with
+Dapple.’—‘Which devil?’ cried the knight. ‘He with the bladders,’
+answered the squire. ‘I will retrieve him,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘even
+if he should conceal him in the darkest and deepest dungeon in hell;
+follow me, Sancho, the waggon moves slowly, and the mules shall atone
+for the loss of Dapple.’
+
+‘There is no occasion for putting ourselves to that trouble,’ said the
+squire: ‘good your worship, be pacified! for I see the devil has quitted
+my ass, and returned to the rest of his crew.’
+
+This observation was actually true; Dapple and his new rider had come to
+the ground, in imitation of the knight and Rozinante: upon which the
+devil trudged on foot to the village, and the ass returned to his right
+owner. ‘For all that,’ said Don Quixote, ‘it will not be amiss to punish
+the troop for that devil’s incivility, though it should be in the person
+of the emperor himself.’—‘I hope your worship’s imagination will harbour
+no such thoughts,’ answered Sancho; ‘take my advice, and never meddle
+with players, who are a set of people in such high favour with the
+publick, that I have known an actor taken up for two murders, and yet
+’scape scot-free: your worship must know, that being the ministers of
+mirth and pleasure, they are favoured, protected, assisted, and esteemed
+by every body; especially if they belong to the king’s company, or to
+some grandee; in which case all, or most of them, look like princes in
+their manners and dress.’—‘Nevertheless,’ replied the knight, ‘that
+farcical devil shall not escape unpunished, or applaud himself for what
+he has done, though all mankind should appear in his favour.’
+
+So saying, he rode towards the waggon, which was by this time pretty
+near the village, and called aloud, ‘Stay, my merry men; halt a little,
+and I will teach you how to treat the asses and cattle belonging to the
+squires of knights-errant.’ Don Quixote hallooed so loud as to be heard
+and understood by the people in the waggon, who judging, by his words,
+the intention of the speaker, Death instantly jumped out of the cart,
+and was followed by the Emperor, the Devil-driver, and the Angel, with
+the Queen and Cupid in their train; in short, the whole company armed
+themselves with stones, and, drawing up in order of battle, stood
+without flinching, to receive the assailant at point of pebble.
+
+The knight perceiving them arranged in such a formidable squadron, their
+arms lifted up in a posture that threatened a powerful discharge of
+stones, checked Rozinante, and began to consider in what manner he
+should attack them, with least hazard to his person. During this pause,
+Sancho came up, and seeing him bent upon a assaulting such a
+well-compacted brigade, ‘It will be the height of madness,’ said he, ‘to
+attempt any such adventure; consider, dear Sir, that there is no kicking
+against the pricks; and that there is no armour upon earth sufficient to
+defend your body from such a shower, unless your worship could creep
+into a bell of brass; you ought also to remember, that it favours more
+of rashness than of true valour, for one man to attack a whole army, in
+which Death and emperors fight in person, being aided and assisted both
+by good and evil angels; and if that consideration will not prevail upon
+you to be quiet, you ought to be diverted from your purpose, by knowing
+certainly, that among all those enemies in the appearances of kings,
+princes, and emperors, there is not so much as one single
+knight-errant.’—‘Now, indeed,’ cried Don Quixote, ‘thou hast hit upon
+the sole reason that can and ought to dissuade me from my determined
+design; I neither can nor ought to draw my sword (as I have told thee,
+on many other occasions) against any person who hath not received the
+honour of knighthood; to thee, Sancho, it belongs, if so thou art
+inclined, to take vengeance for the injury done to Dapple, while I from
+hence will assist and encourage thee with salutary advice.’—‘Signior,’
+answered the squire, ‘there is no occasion to take vengeance of any
+person whatever; for it is not the part of a good Christian to revenge
+the wrongs he hath suffered: besides, I will prevail upon my ass to
+leave the affair to my inclination, which is to live peaceably all the
+days that Heaven shall grant me in this life.’—‘Since that is thy
+determination,’ replied the knight, ‘honest Sancho, discreet Sancho,
+christian and sincere Sancho, let us leave these phantoms, and go in
+quest of adventures more dignified and substantial; for this country
+seems to promise a great many, and those very extraordinary too.’
+
+He accordingly turned his horse, Sancho went to catch Dapple, while
+Death, with his whole flying squadron, returned to their waggon, and
+proceeded on their journey. Thus was the dismal adventure of the waggon
+of Death happily terminated by the wholesome advice which Sancho Panza
+gave to his master; who next day met with another equally surprizing, in
+the person of an enamoured knight-errant.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XII.
+ OF THE STRANGE ADVENTURE THAT HAPPENED TO THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE,
+ IN HIS ENCOUNTER WITH THE KNIGHT OF THE MIRROURS.
+
+
+The night that followed the rencounter with Death, Don Quixote and his
+squire passed among some tall and shady trees; the knight, by Sancho’s
+persuasion, having eaten of what was found in the store that Dapple
+carried. During this meal, Sancho said to his master, ‘What a fool
+should I have been, Signior, if I had chosen, by way of gratification,
+the spoils of your worship’s first adventure, instead of the three
+foals? Verily, verily, a bird in hand is worth two in the bush.’—‘But,
+for all that,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘hadst thou suffered me to attack
+them, as I intended, thou wouldst have enjoyed among the spoils the
+emperor’s golden crown, with Cupid’s painted wings, which I would have
+stripped off against the grain, and put into thy possession.’—‘The
+sceptres and crowns of your stage emperors are never made of pure gold,
+but of tin or tinsel,’ replied the squire. ‘True,’ said the knight, ‘the
+ornaments of comedy ought not to be rich and real, but feigned and
+artificial, like the drama itself, which I would have thee respect,
+Sancho, and receive into favour, together with those who represent and
+compose it; for they are all instruments of great benefit to the
+commonwealth, holding, as it were, a looking-glass always before us, in
+which we see naturally delineated all the actions of life; and no other
+companion whatever represents to us more lively what we are, and what we
+ought to be, than comedy and her attendants; for example, hast thou
+never seen a play acted, in which kings, emperors, popes, knights,
+ladies, and many other characters, were introduced? One acts the
+ruffian, another the sharper, a third the merchant, a fourth the
+soldier, a fifth the designing fool, and a sixth the simple lover; but
+the play being ended, and the dresses laid aside, all the actors remain
+upon an equal footing.’—‘Yes, I have seen all this,’ answered Sancho.
+‘Then the very same thing,’ said the knight, ‘happens in the comedy and
+commerce of this world, where one meets with some people playing the
+parts of emperors, others in the characters of popes; and, finally, all
+the different personages that can be introduced in a comedy; but when
+the play is done, that is, when life is at an end, Death strips them of
+the robes that distinguished their stations, and they become all equal
+in the grave.’—‘A brave comparison!’ cried Sancho, ‘though not so new
+but I have heard it made on divers and sundry occasions as well as that
+of the game of chess, during which every piece maintains a particular
+station and character; and when the game is over, they are all mixed,
+jumbled, and shaken together in a bag, like mortals in the
+grave.’—‘Sancho,’ resumed the knight, ‘every day you become less simple
+and more discreet.’—‘Yes,’ said the squire, ‘some small portion of your
+worship’s discretion must needs stick to me; as lands which are, in
+their own nature, sapless and barren, being well dunged and cultivated,
+come to yield excellent fruit. My meaning is, that your worship’s
+conversation hath fallen like dung upon the barren desart of my
+understanding, which being cultivated by the time of my service and
+communication, will, I hope, produce blessed fruit, such as shall not
+disgrace, nor stray from the path of that good breeding which your
+worship hath bestowed on my narrow capacity.’
+
+Don Quixote could not help smiling at the affected terms in which Sancho
+delivered himself, though what he said of his own improvement was
+actually true; for at certain times he talked to admiration; and yet
+when he attempted to argue, or speak in a polite stile, his efforts
+always, or for the most part, ended in precipitating himself from the
+pinnacle of simplicity to the depth of ignorance; his chief talent
+laying in his memory, which never failed to furnish him with proverbs
+that he lugged into his discourse, whether they were pat to the purpose
+or not, as may be seen and observed through the whole course of this
+history.
+
+In this, and other such conversation, the greatest part of the night
+elapsed, when Sancho began to be inclined to let fall the portcullices
+of his eyes, as he termed it, when he wanted to go to sleep: he
+therefore unpannelled Dapple, to let him graze among the rich pasture
+with which the place abounded; but Rozinante’s saddle he would not
+remove, in consequence of his master’s express order, which was never to
+unsaddle his steed while they were in the field, or did not sleep under
+cover; it being an ancient established custom, observed by all knights
+errant, in these cases, to take the bridle out of the horse’s mouth, and
+hang it upon the pummel of the saddle, but to leave the saddle itself
+untouched. This expedient was accordingly performed by Sancho, who
+turned Rozinante loose with Dapple; and between these two animals such a
+strict reciprocal friendship subsisted, that, according to tradition
+from father to son, the author of this true history wrote particular
+chapters on this very subject; but, in order to preserve the decency and
+decorum which belongs to such an heroick composition, omitted them;
+though sometimes he seems to neglect this precaution, and writes, that
+these two friends used to approach and scrub each other most lovingly;
+and after they had rested and refreshed themselves, Rozinante would
+stretch his head more than half a yard over Dapple’s neck, while the two
+were wont to stand in this posture, with their eyes fixed upon the
+ground, three whole days together; at least, till they were parted, or
+compelled by hunger to go in quest of sustenance; nay, it is confidently
+reported, that the author had compared their mutual attachment to the
+friendship of Nisus or Euryalus, or that which subsisted between Pylades
+and Orestes. If this be the case, we may with admiration conceive how
+firm the fellowship of those two pacifick animals must have been; to the
+utter confusion of mankind, who so little regard the laws of friendship
+and society, according to the common saying, ‘there is no trust in
+profession; the staff will turn into a spear[150],’ and, as the song
+goes, ‘the modes of the court so common are grown, that a true friend
+can hardly be met.’ Let no man imagine the author went out of his road,
+in comparing the friendship of brutes with that of the human species;
+for men have received valuable hints, and learned many things of
+importance from beasts, such as the clyster from storks, gratitude and
+the use of vomits from dogs, vigilance from the crane, foresight and
+frugality from the ant, honesty from the elephant, and loyalty from the
+horse.
+
+In fine, Sancho went to sleep at the root of a cork-tree, and Don
+Quixote began to slumber under an oak; but being in a very little time
+awaked by a noise behind him, he started up, and employing both eyes and
+ears to distinguish whence it proceeded, he perceived two men on
+horseback, one of whom, letting himself drop, as it were, from the
+saddle, said to the other, ‘Alight, my friend, and unbit the horses; for
+this place seems to abound with pasture for them, and with silence and
+solitude, which are the necessary food of my amorous thoughts.’ He had
+no sooner pronounced these words, than he threw himself upon the ground,
+and his armour rattled as he fell, furnishing Don Quixote with a
+manifest proof of his being a knight-errant: he therefore approached
+Sancho, who was asleep, and shaking him by the arm, with no small
+difficulty, brought him to himself; saying, in a low voice, ‘Brother
+Sancho, here is an adventure.’—‘God grant it may be a good one,’
+answered the squire; ‘and pray, Signior, whereabouts may her ladyship
+be?’—‘Where?’ said Don Quixote, ‘turn thine eyes this way, and behold
+lying upon the grass a knight-errant, who, by what I have already
+observed, cannot be over and above easy in his mind? for I saw him throw
+himself upon the ground, with evident marks of vexation, and heard his
+armour clatter in his fall.’—‘But how has your worship found that this
+is an adventure?’ replied the squire. ‘I will not positively say that it
+is altogether an adventure,’ answered the knight, ‘but rather the
+beginning of one: for thus they usually commence: but hark! he seems to
+tune a lute or rebeck, and by his hawking and hemming, I suppose he is
+going to sing.’—‘In good faith, it is even so,’ said Sancho, ‘and he
+must be some knight-errant in love.’—‘All knights-errant are so,’
+resumed Don Quixote; ‘but let us listen, and by the thread of his song,
+discover the clue of his thoughts; for, From the abundance of the heart
+the tongue speaketh.’
+
+Sancho would have made some reply, but was prevented by the voice of the
+Knight of the Wood, which was neither very sweet nor disagreeable; and,
+listening with surprize, they heard him sing the following song:
+
+
+ I.
+
+ ‘Subjected to thy sov’reign will,
+ Ah, cruel maid! my fate decree:
+ The sentence, tho’ inhuman, still
+ Shall never be declin’d by me.
+
+
+ II.
+
+ ‘Say, that my death thy joy would move,
+ My breath with freedom I’ll resign—
+ Or wouldst thou listen to my love,
+ The God himself shall whisper mine.
+
+ III.
+
+ ‘This heart, thy vassal whilst I live,
+ Like ductile wax, and diamond hard,
+ Thy stamp will yieldingly receive,
+ And keep th’ impression unimpair’d.’
+
+
+The Knight of the Wood finished this complaint with an ‘Ah!’ that seemed
+to be heaved from the bottom of his soul, and soon after exclaimed, in a
+sorrowful tone, ‘O thou most beautiful and ungrateful woman upon earth!
+is it possible, that the most serene Casildea de Vandalia has doomed
+this her captive knight to consume and exhaust himself in continual
+peregrinations, in harsh and rugged toils? Is it not enough that I have
+established the fame of thy beauty above all comparison, by the extorted
+confession of all the knights of Navarre, Leon, Tartesia, Castile, and
+finally of La Mancha?’
+
+‘Not so, neither,’ cried Don Quixote, interposing; ‘for I, who am of La
+Mancha, never made any such acknowledgment; neither could I, or ought I,
+to make a confession so prejudicial to the beauty of my own mistress:
+therefore, Sancho, this knight must certainly be disordered in his
+judgment; but let us listen, perhaps he will explain himself.’—‘Very
+like,’ answered the squire, ‘he seems to be in the humour of complaining
+for a whole month.’
+
+But this was not the case; for the Knight of the Wood, hearing people
+talk so near him, proceeded no farther in his lamentation, but starting
+up, called with a courteous and sonorous voice, ‘Who is there? are you
+of the number of the happy or afflicted?’—‘Of the afflicted,’ replied
+Don Quixote.—‘Come hither, then,’ resumed the stranger, ‘and depend upon
+it you will find the very essence of sorrow and affliction.’
+
+Don Quixote hearing him speak in such civil and pathetick terms, went
+towards him, with Sancho at his back, when the complaining knight took
+him by the hand, saying, ‘Sit down, Sir knight, for that you are one of
+those who profess knight-errantry, I am convinced by finding you in this
+place, accompanied by solitude and the dews of night, which are the
+peculiar companions of those who belong to our order.’
+
+To this address Don Quixote replied, ‘I am a knight of that order you
+mention; and though melancholy, mischance, and misfortune, have taken up
+their habitation in my soul, they have not been able to banish from it
+that compassion which I feel for the unhappy. From the soliloquy you
+just now uttered, I gather that your misfortunes are of the amorous
+kind; I mean, that they proceed from the passion you entertain for that
+beautiful ingrate whom you named in your complaint.’ While this
+conversation passed, they sat down together upon the grass, with all the
+marks of amity and good fellowship, as if at break of day they had not
+been doomed to break each other’s head. ‘Perchance, Sir Knight,’ said
+the stranger, ‘you are in love?’—‘By mischance I am so,’ answered Don
+Quixote, ‘though the vexation that proceeds from well placed affection
+ought rather to be deemed a benefit than misfortune.’—‘True,’ said the
+Knight of the Wood, ‘if our judgment and reason are not disturbed by
+disdain, which, if exerted severely, seems a-kin to revenge.’—‘I never
+was disdained by my mistress,’ replied Don Quixote. ‘No, indeed,’ (cried
+Sancho, who stood hard by) ‘my lady is as meek as a lamb, and as soft as
+butter.’
+
+The stranger knight asked if that was his squire; and the other
+answering in the affirmative, ‘I never saw a squire,’ said he, ‘that,
+like him, durst intrude upon his master’s conversation; at least, I can
+say so much for mine, who, though as tall as his father, was never known
+to open his lips, when I was engaged in discourse.’—‘In good faith!’
+cried Sancho, ‘I have spoke, and will speak again, before as good a man
+as—but let that rest—the more you stir it, the more it will——.’
+
+Here the other squire took hold on Sancho by the arm, saying, ‘Let you
+and I go somewhere, and talk our bellies-full, in our own way, and leave
+our masters at liberty to recount their amours; for sure I am, the night
+will be spent before they are done.’—‘With all my heart,’ replied
+Sancho, ‘and I will tell your worship who I am, that you may see whether
+or not I am qualified to be ranked among your talking squires.’ They
+accordingly retired together, and between them passed a conversation
+every bit as merry as that of their masters was grave.
+
+Footnote 150:
+
+ As the original quotation is a fragment that will not complete the
+ sense, I have taken the liberty to make the allusion altogether
+ English.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIII.
+ IN WHICH IS CONTINUED THE ADVENTURE OF THE KNIGHT OF THE WOOD—WITH A
+ SAGE, UNCOMMON, AND AGREEABLE DIALOGUE, THAT PASSED BETWEEN THE TWO
+ SQUIRES.
+
+
+The knights and their squires being thus parted, the first entertained
+each other with the story of their loves, while the last indulged
+themselves with a reciprocal account of their own lives: but the history
+first of all records the conversation of the domesticks, and then
+proceeds to relate what passed between the masters. The squires,
+therefore, having chosen a situation at a convenient distance from the
+knights, he of the wood accosted Sancho in these words: ‘Signior, this
+is a troublesome life that we squires to knights-errant lead; in good
+soothe, we earn our bread with the sweat of our brows, which is one of
+the curses that God denounced against our first parents.’—‘It may also
+be said,’ replied Sancho, ‘that we earn it with the frost of our bodies;
+for no creatures on earth suffer more heat and cold than the miserable
+squires of knight-errantry; and even that would be more tolerable, if we
+had any thing good to eat; for, Hearty fare lightens care, as the saying
+is; but we often pass a whole day, nay sometimes two, without ever
+breaking our fast, except upon the winds of heaven.’—‘All this,’ said
+the other, ‘may be endured, with the hope of reward; for if the
+knight-errant is not extremely unfortunate, his squire must, in a very
+little time, see himself recompensed with the handsome government of
+some island, or with the possession of a profitable earldom.’—‘For my
+own part,’ answered Sancho, ‘I have already told my master, that I shall
+be satisfied with the government of an island, which he has been so
+noble and generous as to promise me, divers and sundry times.’—‘And I,’
+said the stranger, ‘am contented with a canonship, which my master has
+already bespoke for me, on account of my faithful services.’—‘It seems,
+then, your master must be an ecclesiastical knight,’ replied Sancho,
+‘seeing he can provide for his squire in the church: but as for mine, he
+is a mere layman; though I remember, that certain very wise persons (and
+yet, I believe, not very honest at bottom) advised him to procure for
+himself an archbishoprick; but he would be nothing but an emperor: and I
+was then in a grievous quandary, for fear he should take it in his head
+to be of the church; in which case, I should not have been qualified to
+hold a benefice; for your worship must know, though I look like a man, I
+am no better than a beast at church-matters.’—‘Verily,’ said he of the
+wood, ‘your worship mistakes the matter quite; your governments of
+islands are not at all desirable; some are vexatious, some are beggarly,
+others attended with much melancholy and fatigue; in short, the most
+creditable and orderly brings along with it a load of care and
+inconvenience, that lies heavy on the shoulders of the unhappy person
+whose lot it is to bear it: it would be abundantly better for us to
+undergo this accursed slavery, to return to our own homes, and there
+amuse ourselves with more agreeable pastime; such, for example, as
+hunting or fishing; for what squire is there on earth, so poor as to
+want a horse, a couple of hounds, and a fishing-rod, wherewith to
+entertain himself at his own habitation?’
+
+‘For my own part,’ answered Sancho, ‘I want none of these
+conveniencies: true it is I have not a horse, but then I am in
+possession of an ass, which is worth my master’s steed twice over. God
+let me never see a joyful Easter, if I would truck with him for four
+bushels of barley to boot; you may laugh, if you will, at the price I
+set upon Dapple, (for that is the colour of my beast;) then, I should
+never be in want of hounds; for there are plenty, and to spare, in our
+town, and you know nothing is so relishing as to hunt at another’s
+expence.’—‘Really and truly, Signior Squire,’ resumed the stranger, ‘I
+am fully resolved and determined to quit these knights-errant, with
+all their crazy pranks, and betake myself to my own town, where I will
+bring up my children; for, thank God, I have three, like as many
+oriental pearls.’—‘And I have a couple,’ said Sancho, ‘that may be
+presented to the pope in person; especially my daughter, whom I breed
+up to be a countess, by the blessing of God, though it be contrary to
+her mother’s inclination.’—‘And of what age may this young lady be,
+whom you are breeding for a countess?’ said the squire of the wood.
+‘Fifteen years, or thereabouts,’ answered Sancho; ‘but she is as tall
+as a spear, fresh as an April morn, and strong as a porter.’—‘These
+are qualifications not only for a countess, but even for the nymph of
+the greenwood-tree,’ said the other: ‘ah, the whoreson baggage! what a
+buxom jade she must be.’ Sancho, nettled at this epithet, replied,
+‘She is no whore, neither was her mother before her; nor shall either
+of them be so, an please God, whilst I live: so I think you might talk
+more civilly; for, considering your worship has been bred among
+knights-errant, who are, as it were, courtesy itself, methinks your
+words might be better chosen.’—‘How little are you acquainted with the
+nature of commendation, Signior Squire?’ answered he of the wood.
+‘Don’t you know, that when any cavalier, at a bull-feast, wounds the
+bull dextrously, or when any person behaves remarkably well, the
+people exclaim, “How cleverly the son of a whore has done it?” and
+that which looks like reproach, is on such occasions a notable
+commendation. Take my word, Signior, you ought to renounce all
+children, if their behaviour does not entitle the parents to such
+praise.’—‘I do renounce them,’ answered Sancho; ‘at that rate, and for
+that reason, your worship may call my wife and daughter as many whores
+as you please; for both in word and deed, they richly deserve the
+name; and that I may see them again, I beseech God to deliver me from
+this mortal sin, which will be the case, if he delivers me from this
+dangerous employment of squire, which I have incurred a second time,
+being seduced and enticed by a purse of one hundred ducats, which I
+found one day in the midst of the Brown Mountain; and the devil
+continually sets before mine eyes, here and there and every where, a
+bag full of doubloons, which, at every step, methinks I have fast in
+my clutches, hugging it in my arms, and carrying it home to my own
+house, where I purchase mortgages and estates, and live like any
+prince; and while I please myself with these notions, I bear, without
+murmuring, all the toils and fatigues I undergo, in the service of the
+wiseacre my master, who, I know, is more of a madman than a knight.’
+
+‘So that, according to the proverb,’ replied the stranger, ‘Covetousness
+bursts the bag. But if you talk of wiseacres, there is not a greater in
+the universe than my master, who is one of those concerning whom people
+say, He is burdened like an ass, with another man’s load; for truly he
+is turned mad, that another knight may turn wise, and is going about in
+quest of that which, when he hath found it, may hit him in the
+teeth.’—‘And pray, is he in love?’ said Sancho. ‘Yes,’ replied the
+other, ‘he is enamoured of one Casildea de Vandalia, the most fickle
+dame that ever was seen; but her cruelty is not the foot that he halts
+upon at present: he has got other crotchets of greater importance
+grumbling in his gizzard, which ere long will more plainly
+appear.’—‘There is no road so smooth,’ resumed Sancho, ‘but you’ll meet
+with rubs and hollows in it. Other people use beans, but I boil whole
+kettles full. Madness is always more accompanied and followed after,
+than discretion: but if it be true, as it is commonly alledged, that
+company in affliction lessens the weight of it, I shall comfort myself
+by reflecting that your worship serves a master who is as distracted as
+mine.’—‘Distracted, I grant you,’ said he of the wood, ‘but valiant, and
+still mere mischievous than valiant or distracted.’—‘That is not the
+case with my master,’ replied Sancho, ‘he has nothing at all mischievous
+about him; on the contrary, is as dull as a beetle, and knows not what
+it is to harm man, woman, or child, or to harbour the least malice, but
+seeks to do good unto all mankind. A child may persuade him that it is
+night at noon; and, indeed, for that very simplicity, I love him as my
+own bowels, and cannot find in my heart to leave him, notwithstanding
+all the mad pranks he is guilty of.’—‘But for all that, Signior and
+brother of mine,’ said the stranger, ‘if the blind lead the blind, they
+are both in danger of falling into the ditch. We had much better retire
+fair and softly, and return to our own habitations; for they who go in
+search of adventures do not always find them to their liking.’
+
+About this time Sancho began to hawk a kind of dry spitting; which being
+observed by the charitable squire of the wood, ‘Methinks,’ said he, ‘we
+have talked till our tongues cleave to the roofs of our mouths; but I
+have got something that will agreeably moisten them, at my saddle-bow.’
+He accordingly got up, and going aside to his horse, soon returned with
+a large leathern bottle of wine, and a pye half a yard long: and this is
+really no exaggeration; for it contained a whole fed rabbit, so large,
+that when Sancho felt it, he took it for a whole goat or a large kid at
+least, crying, as soon as he perceived it, ‘How! does your worship
+usually carry such provision as this about with you?’—‘What d’ye think?’
+answered the other; ‘d’ye take me for a hackney squire[151]? I carry a
+better cupboard on my horse’s crupper than e’er a general on his march.’
+
+Sancho fell to, without staying for intreaty, and swallowed, in the
+dark, huge mouthfuls, with as much ease as if it had been flummery,
+saying between whiles, ‘Yes, indeed, your worship is a true and loyal
+squire, well dammed and gristed, as the saying is, grand and magnificent
+withal, as plainly appears from this banquet, which, if it did not come
+hither by the art of inchantment, at least seems so to have done; this
+is not the case with such an unlucky poor devil as me, who carry nothing
+in my bags but a piece of cheese hard enough to knock out a giant’s
+brains, accompanied by three or four dozen of carrobes, and as many
+hazle-nuts; thanks to the niggardliness and opinion of my master, and
+the rule he observes, by which knights-errant must maintain and support
+themselves with nothing but dried fruits, and the herbs of the
+field.’—‘In good faith, brother!’ resumed he of the wood, ‘my stomach
+was not made for your sweet thistle, wild pear, and mountain roots; let
+our masters please themselves with their own opinions and rules of
+chivalry, and live according to their meagre commands; for my own part,
+I always carry some cold pasty, happen what will, and this bottle
+hanging at my saddle-bow, which I love so devoutly, that I kiss and
+embrace it almost every minute.’ So saying, he handed it to Sancho, who
+lifting it up to his mouth, stood gazing at the stars a whole quarter of
+an hour, and when his draught was out, he hung his head on one side,
+pronouncing with a long sigh, ‘Ah, whoreson! how catholick it is!’—‘You
+see now,’ said he of the wood, hearing Sancho’s whoreson, ‘how you have
+praised the wine, by giving it such a title.’—‘I am sensible,’ replied
+Sancho, ‘and confess that it is no disparagement to any body to be
+called the son of a whore, when it is understood in the way of
+commendation; but tell me, Signior, by the life of what you best love,
+is not this wine from Cividad Real?’
+
+‘You have an excellent taste,’ answered he of the wood, ‘it comes from
+no other part, I’ll assure you; and has, moreover, some good years over
+its head.’—‘Let me alone for that,’ said Sancho, ‘you’ll never catch me
+tripping in the knowledge of wine, let it be never so difficult to
+distinguish; is it not an extraordinary thing, Signior Squire, that I
+should have such a sure and natural instinct in the knowledge of wine,
+that give me but a smell of any kind whatever, and I will tell you
+exactly its country, growth, and age, together with the changes it will
+undergo, and all other circumstances appertaining to the mystery? But
+this is not to be wondered at; for, by my father’s side, I had two
+kinsmen who were the most excellent tasters that La Mancha hath known
+for these many years; as a proof of which, I will tell you what once
+happened to them. A sample of wine was presented to them out of a
+hogshead, and their opinions asked concerning the condition and quality;
+that is, the goodness or badness of the liquor to which it belonged; one
+of them tasted it with the tip of his tongue, the other did no more than
+clap it to his nose; the first said the wine tasted of iron, the other
+affirmed it had a twang of goats leather; the owner protested that the
+pipe was clean, and the contents without any sort of mixture that could
+give the liquor either the taste of iron, or the smell of goats leather:
+nevertheless, the two famous tasters stuck to the judgment they had
+given; time passed on, the wine was sold, and when the pipe came to be
+cleaned, they found in it a small key, tied to a leathern thong. By this
+your worship may perceive, whether or not one who is descended from such
+a race, may venture to give his opinion in cases of this
+nature.’—‘Therefore, I say,’ replied the stranger, ‘that we ought to
+quit this trade of going in quest of adventures, and be contented with
+our loaf, without longing for dainties; let us return to our own
+cottages, where God will find us, if it be his blessed will.’—‘I will
+serve my master till he arrives at Saragossa,’ said Sancho, ‘and then we
+shall come to a right understanding.’
+
+In fine, the two honest squires talked and drank so copiously, that
+sleep was fain to tie up their tongues, and allay their drought, which
+it was impossible to remove; each, therefore, grasping the bottle, which
+by this time was almost empty, fell asleep, with the morsel half chewed
+in his mouth. In this situation we will leave them for the present, and
+relate what happened between the knight of the wood, and him of the
+rueful countenance.
+
+Footnote 151:
+
+ Literally, ‘a squire of wool and water,’ an allusion to a custom among
+ the Spaniards, who sometimes have domesticks to attend them to mass,
+ and sprinkle them with holy water: these are generally shabby fellows,
+ who have very poor appointments.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIV.
+ WHEREIN THE ADVENTURE OF THE KNIGHT OF THE WOOD IS CONTINUED.
+
+
+In the course of the conversation that passed between the two knights,
+the history relates, that he of the wood said to Don Quixote, ‘Finally,
+Sir Knight, you must know, my destiny, or rather my choice, led me to
+place my affection on the peerless Casildea de Vandalia. I call her
+peerless, because she has no equal, either in point of stature, quality,
+fortune, or beauty. Now this lady, in return for all my virtuous
+inclination and amorous desires, like the stepmother of Hercules,
+employs me in many various toils and dangers, promising at the
+conclusion of each, that with the next my cares shall be finished; but
+thus she goes on, stringing one labour to another, without number, and I
+know not which will be the last that is to produce the accomplishment of
+my wishes. At one time she commanded me to go and challenge that famous
+giantess of Seville, called Giralda[152], who is so valiant and strong,
+(her body being made of brass) and who, without shifting her station, is
+the most changeable and fickle female in the whole world. I came, saw,
+and conquered; fixing her motionless to one point, for during a whole
+week, the wind blew from the north. Another time, she ordered me to
+weigh the ancient figures called the Valiant Bulls of Guisando[153]; an
+enterprize more suitable to porters than to knights; nay, she even
+commanded me to throw myself headlong into the gulph of Cabra, an
+adventure equally new and dangerous, and bring to her a particular
+account of what is contained in that dark and deep abyss. I fixed the
+inconstant Giralda, weighed the bulls of Guisando, precipitated myself
+into the gulph, and brought to light the secrets of its abyss; and yet
+my hopes are dead; ah, how dead! while her cruelty and disdain are still
+alive; ah, how much alive! In short, to conclude, she ordered me to
+traverse all the provinces of Spain, and compel every knight-errant in
+the kingdom to confess that she is preferable, in point of beauty, to
+all the women upon earth; and that I am the most valiant and amorous
+knight in the world. In consequence of this command, I have travelled
+over the greatest part of Spain, and vanquished many knights who have
+presumed to contradict my assertion: but I value and applaud myself
+chiefly for having conquered in single combat, that so renowned knight
+Don Quixote de La Mancha, and made him confess that my Casildea is more
+beautiful than his Dulcinea. Now, in that single conquest, I deem myself
+superior to all the knights in the universe; for that same Don Quixote
+hath vanquished all his cotemporaries; and I, in conquering him, have
+transferred and conveyed to my own person all his honour, glory, and
+reputation; the victor being always honoured in proportion to the fame
+of his vanquished foe; wherefore, the innumerable atchievements of the
+said Don Quixote are placed to my credit, as if they were the effects of
+my own personal prowess.’
+
+Don Quixote was astonished at hearing the knight of the wood talk in
+this manner, and was a thousand times tempted to give him the lye; nay,
+‘You lye,’ was at the very tip of his tongue; but repressing his
+indignation as well as he could, that he might make the stranger’s own
+tongue convict him of falshood, he replied very calmly, ‘That your
+worship, Sir Knight, may have vanquished the greatest part of the
+knights-errant in Spain, and even in the whole world, I do not pretend
+to question; but that you have conquered Don Quixote de La Mancha, I
+doubt very much; perhaps it might be another who resembles him, though
+there are few such.’—‘How! not conquer him?’ cried he of the wood; ‘now,
+by yon canopy of Heaven, under which we sit, I engaged, overcame, and
+subjected that very individual Don Quixote; he is a tall, meagre,
+long-legged, lanthorn-jawed, stalking figure; his hair inclining to
+grey, his nose hooked and aquiline, with long, straight, black,
+mustachios; in his excursions he assumes the name of the Knight of the
+Rueful Countenance; and is attended by a peasant called Sancho Panza,
+who serves him in quality of squire; he presses the loins, and governs
+the reins of a famous steed hight Rozinante; and, in fine, he avows, as
+the mistress of his heart, one Dulcinea del Toboso, formerly known by
+the name of Aldonza Lorenzo; in like manner, my own mistress, whose name
+is Casildea, being a native of Andalousia, is now distinguished by the
+appellation of Casildea de Vandalia. If all these proofs are not
+sufficient to evince my veracity, here is my sword, which shall make a
+convert of incredulity itself.’
+
+‘Have a little patience, Sir Knight,’ said Don Quixote, ‘and give ear
+unto what I am going to say. You must know, that same Don Quixote you
+mention, is the dearest friend I have upon earth; so that I may say, I
+love him as well as my own individual person; now your description of
+him is so punctual and exact, that I should never doubt but he is
+actually the person you have vanquished, did I not see with my eyes,
+and, as it were, feel with my hands, the impossibility of the fact; and
+yet, as divers inchanters are his enemies, particularly one who
+persecutes him incessantly, some one among them may have assumed his
+figure, and allowed himself to be overcome, in order to defraud the
+knight of that fame which his gallant exploits had collected and
+acquired through the whole known world; in confirmation of this
+conjecture, I must also tell you, that about two days ago, those
+perverse inchanters transformed the shape and person of the beautiful
+Dulcinea del Toboso, into that of a mean and plebeian country-wench; so
+that Don Quixote must have also undergone a transformation. And if all
+this is not enough to ascertain the truth of what I say, here is Don
+Quixote himself, who will maintain it by force of arms, on horseback or
+on foot, or in any shape you please.’
+
+So saying, he started up, and grasping his sword, stood waiting for the
+resolution of the Knight of the Wood, who with great deliberation
+replied; ‘A good paymaster needs no pawn, Signior Don Quixote; he who
+could vanquish you when you was transformed, may well hope to reduce you
+in _propria persona_; but as it is unseemly for knights to perform their
+exploits in the dark, like robbers and ruffians, let us wait for day,
+that the sun may shine upon our works; and let this be the condition of
+our combat, that the vanquished shall comply with the will of the
+victor, and do every thing that he shall desire, provided his commands
+be such as a knight-errant can decently obey.’
+
+Don Quixote assured him, that he was extremely well satisfied with the
+condition and proviso; upon which they went in quest of their squires,
+who were found snoring in the very same attitudes in which sleep had
+surprized them. They wakened, and ordered them to get their horses
+ready; for by sun-rise they intended to engage in a most unparalleled
+and bloody single combat. Sancho was astonished and confounded at this
+piece of news; despairing of his master’s safety, when he recollected
+what the other squire had told him concerning the valour of the knight
+of the wood. The two squires, however, without pretending to make any
+words, went to look for their cattle, and found the three steeds, with
+Dapple, (for they had smelled each other out) very sociably met
+together. While they were thus employed, ‘Brother,’ said he of the wood
+to Sancho, ‘you must know that it is customary with your warriors of
+Andalousia, when they are godfathers in any quarrel, not to stand idle,
+with their arms across, while their godsons are engaged. This I hint, by
+way of apprising you that, while our masters are at it, we must exchange
+a few dry blows too.’—‘That custom, Signior squire,’ answered Sancho,
+‘may pass current with those ruffians and warriors you mention; but that
+it prevails among the squires of knights-errant, I can by no means
+believe; at least, I have never heard such a custom mentioned by my
+master, who knows all the ordinances of chivalry by rote. Besides,
+granting it to be fact, and expressly ordained, that the squires must go
+to loggerheads while their masters are engaged; I will by no means
+comply with it, but pay the penalty incurred by peaceable squires, which
+I am sure cannot exceed a couple of pounds of wax; and that will not
+cost me so much as the pence I should expend in the cure of my head,
+which I should lay my account with having split and divided into two
+halves; and moreover, it is impossible that I should fight, because I
+have got no sword, and never wore one in my born days.’—‘I know a very
+good remedy for that inconvenience,’ said the stranger: ‘here are a
+couple of linen bags, of the same size; you shall take one, and I the
+other, and play away upon each other with equal arms.’—‘With all my
+heart,’ answered Sancho; ‘that sort of exercise will serve to dust our
+jackets, without hurting our skin.’—‘Not quite so neither,’ resumed the
+other, ‘for that the bags may not flap in the air, we will clap into
+each half a dozen clear smooth pebbles, of equal weight and magnitude;
+so that we may thwack one another without hurt or damage.’—‘Body of my
+father,’ cried Sancho, ‘mind what sable furrs and flakes of carded
+cotton he would line the bags withal, to prevent them from grinding our
+skulls, and making a paste of our bones! Hark ye, master of mine, I’ll
+have nothing to do with them, though they were fluffed with balls of
+silk; let our masters fight as they shall think proper, but for our
+parts, let us drink and live quietly; for old father Time will take care
+to rid us of our lives, without our seeking occasions to throw them away
+before the appointed season, at which, being ripe, they drop off of
+their own accord.’
+
+‘But, for all that,’ replied he of the wood, ‘we must have a bout, if it
+should not last half an hour.’—‘By no means,’ said Sancho; ‘I shall not
+be so uncivil and ungrateful as to have any difference, let it be never
+so small, with a person at whose cost I have both eaten and drank:
+besides, who the devil do you think can fight in cool blood, without any
+sort of anger or provocation?’—‘I know how to remove that objection,’
+resumed the stranger: ‘before we begin the battle, I will come up fair
+and softly, and give your worship two or three such hearty boxes on the
+ear, as will lay you flat at my feet, and awaken your choler, though it
+should sleep sounder than a dormouse.’—‘Against that expedient,’
+answered Sancho, ‘I know another twice as good: for I will lay hold on a
+good cudgel, and before your worship comes to awaken my choler, give
+your own such a lullaby of dry beating, that it shall never wake but in
+the next world, where you’ll have reason to know that I am not a man who
+will suffer his nose to be handled by any person whatsomever; wherefore,
+let every one look to his own affairs. Though it would be the wisest
+course for every man to let his own choler lie still and sleep: for
+nobody knows the heart of his neighbour, and some who go out for wool,
+come home quite shorn. God himself bestowed his blessing upon peace, and
+curse upon contention; for if a cat that is confined, provoked, and
+persecuted, turns into a lion, the Lord knows what I, who am a man, may
+turn into: I therefore, Signior Squire, give your worship notice, that
+all the mischief and damage which shall proceed from our quarrel, must
+be charged to your account.’—‘Mighty well,’ replied the stranger, ‘we
+shall see what is to be done, when God sends us morning.’
+
+Now a thousand kinds of painted birds began to warble from the trees,
+and in their various and sprightly notes seemed to welcome and salute
+the fresh and joyous morn, which already, through the gates and
+balconies of the east, disclosed her beauteous visage; while from her
+hair distilled an infinite number of liquid pearls, in which delicious
+liquor the herbs being bathed, seemed to sprout and rain a shower of
+seed-pearl upon the earth. The willows shed savoury manna, the fountains
+laughed, the brooks murmured, the woods rejoiced, and the meadows
+adorned themselves at her approach.
+
+But scarce had the light of day rendered objects distinguishable, when
+the first thing that presented itself to the eyes of Sancho Panza was
+the nose of his brother squire, which was so large as almost to
+over-shadow his whole body. It is actually said to have been of
+excessive magnitude, crooked in the middle, and studded all over with
+warts of a mulberry colour, like the fruit called berengena; and it hung
+down two fingers breadth below his mouth. The size, colour, warts, and
+curvature of this feature, rendered the face so frightful and deformed,
+that Sancho no sooner beheld it than he began to shake in every limb,
+like a child troubled with convulsions; and resolved, in his heart, to
+endure two hundred buffetings, before his choler should be awaked, so as
+to fight with such a hobgoblin.
+
+Don Quixote surveying his antagonist, found his vizor already down, and
+closed in such a manner as effectually concealed his face; but he
+perceived him to be a muscular man, of a middling stature. Over his arms
+he wore a loose coat or cassock, to all appearance of the finest cloth
+of gold, powdered with a number of small moons formed of the brightest
+looking-glass, which had a most magnificent, gay, and shewy effect. Over
+his helmet waved a great quantity of green, yellow, and white plumes;
+and his lance, which leaned against a tree, was excessively long and
+large, armed with above a hand’s breadth of pointed steel. All these
+particulars were observed and considered by Don Quixote, who concluded,
+from what he saw and observed, that the said knight must be a person of
+Herculean strength. Nevertheless, far from being afraid, like Sancho
+Panza, he, with the most gallant intrepidity, thus addressed himself to
+the Knight of the Mirrours: ‘I entreat you, by your courtesy, Sir
+Knight, if your eager desire of fighting hath not destroyed that
+quality, to lift up your beaver a little, that I may see whether or not
+the grace of your countenance corresponds with the gallantry of your
+demeanour.’—‘Signior cavalier,’ replied he of the looking-glasses,
+‘whether you are victor or vanquished in this enterprize, you will have
+time and opportunity more than sufficient to consider my visage: my
+reason for not satisfying your desire at present, is, that I should deem
+it a notable injury to the beautiful Casildea de Vandalia, to spend so
+much time as it would take to lift up my beaver, before I compel you to
+confess what you know I pretend to maintain.’—‘Yet, while we mount our
+steeds,’ said Don Quixote, ‘you may easily tell me if I am that same Don
+Quixote whom you pretend to have overcome.’—‘To that question I answer,’
+said he of the mirrours, ‘that you are as like the knight I overcame, as
+one egg is like another; but as you say you are persecuted by
+inchanters, I will not venture to affirm whether or not you are the same
+person.’—‘That is enough,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘to convince me that you
+are mistaken: nevertheless, to persuade you beyond all possibility of
+doubt, let us have recourse to our horses, and in less time than you
+would have taken to lift your beaver, if God, my mistress, and my arm
+avail me, I shall see your face; and you will see I am not that
+conquered Don Quixote whom you suppose me to be.’
+
+Thus breaking off the conversation, they mounted their horses; and Don
+Quixote turned Rozinante, in order to take a sufficiency of ground for
+returning to encounter his antagonist, while he of the mirrours took the
+same precaution. But the first had not proceeded twenty paces when he
+was called back by the other, and the two meeting again half way, ‘Take
+notice, Sir Knight,’ said he of the looking glasses, ‘the condition of
+our combat is, that the conquered, as I have already observed, must be
+at the discretion of the conqueror.’—‘I know it,’ answered Don Quixote,
+‘provided the commands imposed upon the vanquished be such as do not
+transgress the bounds of chivalry.’—‘So I understand the conditions,’
+answered he of the mirrours.
+
+At that instant the strange nose of the squire presented itself to the
+eyes of Don Quixote, who was no less astonished than Sancho at the
+sight; insomuch that he took him for some monster, or new-fashioned man,
+such as are not commonly found in this world. Sancho, seeing his master
+set out, in order to take his career, would not stay alone with nozzle,
+being afraid, that one flirt of such a snout in his face would determine
+the quarrel, and lay him stretched along the ground, either through fear
+or the severity of the blow, he therefore ran after his master, and
+laying hold of one of Rozinante’s stirrups, when he saw him ready to
+turn, ‘I beseech your worship, dear master,’ cried he, ‘before you turn
+to begin the combat, help me in climbing this cork-tree, from whence I
+may behold, more to my liking than from the ground, your worship’s
+gallant encounter with that same knight.’—‘I rather believe, Sancho,’
+said Don Quixote, ‘that thy motive for clambering up is to see the
+bull-fight from a scaffold, without any danger to thyself.’—‘The truth
+is,’ answered Panza, ‘the outrageous nose of that squire fills me with
+such astonishment and affright, that I dare not tarry along with
+him.’—‘It is such indeed,’ replied the knight, ‘that were I any other
+than what I am, I should be feared at its appearance: come, therefore,
+and I will help thee to ascend to the place you mention.’
+
+While Don Quixote stopped until Sancho should get up into the cork-tree,
+the Knight of the Mirrours took as much ground as he thought necessary,
+and imagining that Don Quixote had done the same, without waiting for
+sound of trumpet, or other signal, he turned his horse, which was not a
+whit superior to Rozinante, either in fleetness or appearance, and at
+his full speed, which was a middling trot, rode forwards to encounter
+his antagonist; but seeing him busy in the exaltation of Sancho, he
+pulled in the reins, and halted in the middle of his career; a
+circumstance that gave infinite joy to his steed, which was already so
+tired, that he could not move another step. Don Quixote perceiving his
+enemy approaching with such speed, drove his spurs stoutly into the
+meagre flanks of Rozinante, and made him spring forwards in such a
+manner, that the history says, this was the only occasion on which he
+was ever known to gallop; for, at all other times, his swiftest pace was
+no other than a downright trot; and with this hitherto unseen fury he
+arrived at the spot where the Knight of the Mirrours sat, thrusting his
+spurs rowel-deep into the sides of his horse, without being able to move
+him one finger’s breadth from the place where he had made his halt. In
+this confusion and dilemma Don Quixote found his antagonist embroiled
+with his horse, and embarrassed with his lance, which, either through
+want of knowledge or of time, he had not as yet fixed in the rest. Our
+Manchegan, who never minded these incumbrances, safely, and without the
+least danger to his own person, encountered him of the mirrours with
+such vigour, as to bring him, very much against his inclination, to the
+ground, over the crupper of his horse, with such a fall, that he lay
+without sense or motion, to all appearance bereft of life.
+
+Sancho no sooner saw him unhorsed, than sliding down from the cork-tree,
+he ran down to his master, who having alighted from Rozinante, stood
+over the Knight of the Mirrours, untying his helmet, in order to see,
+whether or not he was actually dead, and to give him air, in case he
+should be alive. Then it was he saw—who can relate what he saw, without
+creating admiration, wonder, and affright in those who hear it! He saw,
+says the history, the very face, the very figure, the very aspect, the
+very physiognomy, the very effigies, the very perspective of the
+batchelor, Sampson Carrasco; and this he no sooner beheld, than raising
+his voice, he cried, ‘Come hither, Sancho, and behold what thou shalt
+see, but not believe; quick, my child, and contemplate the power of
+magick: here thou wilt see what those wizards and inchanters can do.’
+Sancho accordingly approached, and seeing the face of batchelor
+Carrasco, began to cross and bless himself a thousand times.
+
+Mean while, the overthrown knight, giving no signs of life, Sancho said
+to Don Quixote, ‘In my opinion, master, right or wrong, your worship
+should thrust your sword through the jaws of this miscreant, who seems
+to be the batchelor Sampson Carrasco, and in him, perhaps, you may slay
+one of those inchanters who are your enemies.’—‘That is no bad advice,’
+said the knight, ‘for the fewer enemies the better.’ So saying, he drew
+his sword, in order to put in execution the advice and counsel of
+Sancho, when the squire belonging to the Knight of the Mirrours, came up
+without his frightful nose, and cried aloud, ‘Take care what you do,
+Signior Don Quixote; he who lies at your feet is your friend the
+batchelor Sampson Carrasco, and I am his squire.’
+
+Sancho seeing him without his original deformity, ‘And the nose?’ said
+he. ‘I have it here,’ replied the other; who putting his hand in his
+right side-pocket, pulled out a paste-board nose, covered with varnish,
+such as we have already described. Sancho having considered him more and
+more attentively, broke out into a loud exclamation of wonder, crying,
+‘Blessed virgin watch over me! Sure this is not my neighbour and gossip
+Tommy Cecial?’—‘The very same,’ answered the unsnouted squire, ‘Thomas
+Cecial I am, your own friend and gossip, Sancho Panza, and I will
+presently tell you by what round-about conduits, tricks, and mischievous
+stories, I have been brought hither: in the mean time, supplicate and
+beseech your master’s worship not to treat, maltreat, wound, or slay,
+the Knight of the Looking-glasses, who now lies at his feet; for,
+without all doubt, he is no other than our townsman, the inconsiderate
+and ill-advised batchelor Sampson Carrasco.’
+
+About this time, the Knight of the Mirrours came to himself; and Don
+Quixote perceiving he had recovered the use of his senses, clapped the
+point of his naked sword to his throat, saying, ‘Knight, you are a dead
+man, if you do not instantly confess that the peerless Dulcinea del
+Toboso excels your Casildea de Vandalia, in beauty; and in the next
+place, you must promise, (provided you escape with life from this
+contention and overthrow) to go to the city of Toboso, and present
+yourself before her, in my name, that she may dispose of you according
+to her good pleasure; and if she leaves you at your own disposal, you
+shall return in quest of me; for the tracks of my exploits will serve as
+a guide to conduct you to the place where I shall be, and give me an
+account of what hath passed between you; these conditions being
+conformable to what we agreed upon before the combat, and not deviating
+from the customs of knight-errantry.’—‘I confess,’ said the vanquished
+knight, ‘that the clouted dirty shoe of the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso,
+excels the dishevelled, though shining locks of Casildea: I promise to
+go and return from her to your presence, and give you a full and
+particular detail of what you demand.’—‘You must, in like manner,
+confess and believe,’ added Don Quixote, ‘that the knight whom you
+overcame neither was nor could be Don Quixote de La Mancha, but some
+other who resembled him; as I confess and believe, that although you
+appear to be the batchelor Sampson Carrasco, you are not really he, but
+another cloathed in his appearance, with which my enemies have invested
+you, in order to arrest my arm, and restrain the impetuosity of my rage,
+so as that I may bear the glory of my conquest with moderation.’—‘I
+confess, judge, and perceive, in all respects, as you believe, judge,
+and perceive,’ answered the discomfited knight; ‘and I beseech you to
+allow me to rise, if the severity of my fall, which hath put me in a
+miserable plight, will permit me to get up.’
+
+He was accordingly assisted in rising, by Don Quixote and his own squire
+Tommy Cecial, from whose person Sancho could not withdraw his eyes,
+while he asked a thousand questions; the answers to which manifestly
+shewed, that he was really and truly the individual Tommy Cecial, whom
+he pretended to be; but the apprehension which Sancho had conceived,
+from what his master said touching the inchanters, who had metamorphosed
+the Knight of the Mirrours into the Batchelor Carrasco, hindered him
+from giving credit to the truth of what he saw with his own eyes.
+Finally, both master and man remained under the influence of that
+deception, while he of the mirrours, with his squire, in exceeding bad
+humour and evil plight, took his leave of Don Quixote and Sancho, to go
+in quest of some place where he might beplaister and besplinter his
+ribs. Don Quixote and Sancho returned to the prosecution of their
+journey; in which the history leaves them, to explain the mystery of the
+knight of the looking-glasses and his snouted squire.
+
+Footnote 152:
+
+ A brass statue on a steeple at Seville, serving for a weather-cock.
+
+Footnote 153:
+
+ These are stone statues of bulls, erected by the Romans at Guisando, a
+ town in Castile; all the inscriptions are effaced, except the name of
+ A. Quintus Cæcilius, Consul II.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XV.
+ WHICH GIVES AN ACCOUNT AND INFORMATION
+ OF THE KNIGHT OF THE MIRROURS AND HIS SQUIRE.
+
+
+Don Quixote went on his way rejoicing; he gloried, he triumphed in the
+importance of his conquest, imagining the knight of the mirrours to be
+the most redoubtable of all knights that had yet ever appeared; and what
+afforded him likewise great matter of comfort was, that this knight,
+having engaged himself by the ties of honour, from which he could not
+deviate, without forfeiting his title to the order, he conceived hopes
+of hearing soon from Dulcinea, and of being certainly informed whether
+the inchantment of that princess still continued; though, indeed, it
+happened, that he and the knight of the mirrours thought, at that time,
+differently upon this subject; inasmuch as the latter was solely intent
+upon thinking how he should repair the damage done to his carcase.
+
+And here the historian informs his readers, that when Sampson Carrasco
+advised Don Quixote to resume the profession of knight-errantry, it was
+in consequence of mature consultation between him, the curate, and the
+barber, when they deliberated upon the means of keeping him in peace and
+quiet at home, so that his brains, for the future, should not be
+disturbed in pursuit of those wild extravagances; the result of which
+was, that the only way to cure the frenzy of this unhappy man, was at
+present not to check his ungovernable obstinacy, but to humour it, and
+encourage him to go out again, as they saw it was impossible to prevent
+him; that Sampson should arm himself, and take an opportunity of meeting
+and challenging him, as a knight-errant; that he should settle the terms
+with him, that the vanquished should be at the disposal of the
+conqueror; that, in consequence of this agreement, Don Quixote, when
+overcome, (which they looked upon as a matter of little doubt and
+difficulty) should be ordered to return home, and not to pass the bounds
+of his own village for the space of two years, without the good-will and
+permission of the other; that, no doubt, this he would religiously
+comply with, as not daring to violate the laws of the order; and that
+there might be hopes, he would either in that space of time be naturally
+cured of those extravagant follies, or they might find out some method
+of diverting his mind from the farther pursuit of them. Carrasco
+undertook the affair very readily; and this Thomas Cecial, an intimate
+friend and companion of Sancho, and a queer sort of fellow, proffered
+his service to go upon the expedition, in the quality of squire. Sampson
+got himself accoutred in the manner you have read, and Cecial appeared
+in the terrors of that tremendous paste-board nose, to disguise himself
+from Sancho; and being thus equipped, they followed him so close, that
+they were very near coming up with him at the adventure of the waggon of
+Death; they met him however in the wood, where ensued what the attentive
+reader must already be acquainted with; and where, had it not been for
+Don Quixote’s heated imagination, which hurried him into the belief that
+the batchelor was not the batchelor Signior Sampson Carrasco, would have
+been effectually stopped in the progress of his university degrees, and
+would not even have found a nest where he expected a flight of sparrows.
+
+Thomas Cecial, finding the unhappy success that attended their
+undertaking, said, ‘Mr. Carrasco, I cannot in my conscience see why we
+ought to complain; it is one thing to undertake, but another thing to
+finish: we looked upon Don Quixote as mad, and ourselves as hugely wise;
+but, behold the end! we take our march back again, both from a fool’s
+errand, and you most handsomely drubbed to boot, while he pursues his
+journey in safety and triumph; and I should really be curious to know
+which is the greatest fool, he who is made so by nature, or he who makes
+himself one?’—‘There is this difference,’ replied the batchelor,
+‘between a natural and a wilful fool; that the former will always remain
+so, the latter may cease to be so when he has a mind.’—‘As that is the
+case,’ said Thomas, ‘I think I have been a monstrous fool in coming here
+to attend you as your squire; and therefore, that I may be so no longer,
+I will this instant hie me to my own habitation.’—‘In that particular,
+you may do what seems good unto you,’ replied Sampson; ‘but as for me, I
+see not the place of my dwelling, until I shall have taken bodily
+vengeance upon Don Quixote: ’tis not now from motives of charity or
+benevolence; no, ’tis revenge, and the anguish of my ribs, that prompt
+me to persevere in attempting the work of his reformation.’
+
+They entertained one another in this manner, till they came to a
+village, where they had the good fortune to find a bone-setter, who put
+the batchelor’s ribs somewhat to rights; and Cecial took the route for
+his own village, leaving Carrasco deep in his meditations, projecting
+schemes of revenge. In due time, the history will again mention him;
+but, at present, let us share with Don Quixote in the transports of his
+joy.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XVI.
+ WHAT HAPPENED TO DON QUIXOTE WITH A GRAVE GENTLEMAN OF LA MANCHA.
+
+
+Don Quixote, as we have observed, went on his way, glorying in his
+success. From that day, he dated himself the most renowned and
+invincible of all knights that had ever yet gone through a course of
+labours on this our earth: he looked upon all dangers, all difficulties
+that possibly could come in his way, as already vanquished, already
+overcome: he now valued not a rush the machinations of the most powerful
+inchanters. The very traces of former misfortunes, those drubbings out
+of number he had undergone, in discharging the functions of knighthood,
+were now quite obliterated from his memory. He thought no more of the
+shower of stones which had so sorely afflicted his jaw-bones, nor the
+mortifying ingratitude of the galley-slaves; nor did he think any more
+of the pack-staves of the Yanguesian carriers, who had the hardiness to
+make his sides resound like the dusting of a carpet: in short, the idea
+he conceived of his own felicity was so great, that, ‘Could I,’ said he
+to himself, ‘but accomplish the great point of delivering my celestial
+princess from the power of inchantment, I should not envy the glory that
+ever was or will be purchased by any knight in the universe.’
+
+He was lost in these reveries, when Sancho interrupted him: ‘Signior,
+you will hardly believe what a fool I am; but it is an actual truth,
+that I cannot keep myself from thinking on that horrid and unmeasurable
+nose of my neighbour Tom Cecial.’—‘And dost thou really believe,’
+replied the other, ‘that the Knight of the Mirrours was Sampson
+Carrasco; and that thy old companion, Thomas Cecial, was his
+squire?’—‘As to that affair, I can say nothing to it,’ answered Sancho;
+‘only one thing I am positive in, that no one but himself could have
+given me such an account of my house, my wife, and my children; and as
+to his face, when that nose was slipt off, it was the very individual
+face of Thomas Cecial, just as I have beheld it many a time, when we
+were next door neighbours in our village: and as for his voice, I will
+take my oath, it is the same to a tittle.’—‘Come, Sancho,’ said Don
+Quixote, ‘let us reason coolly upon this head: what probability is
+there, that Sampson Carrasco should come, as a knight-errant, armed
+cap-a-pee, to offer me combat? Am I his enemy, or did I ever give him
+occasion to bear resentment against me? Do you imagine I am his rival,
+or that he has entered into the profession of chivalry, as envying the
+glory I have acquired by arms?’—‘But then, Sir,’ answered Sancho, ‘what
+account can we give of the resemblance of that same knight and his
+squire to Sampson Carrasco, and my old friend Thomas Cecial? And if it
+be inchantment, as your worship says, were there no other two in the
+world but them whose likeness they could assume?’—‘It is all design,’
+answered the other; ‘and the contrivance of those cursed inchanters that
+persecute me, who easily foreseeing I should be victorious in the
+combat, changed the form of the vanquished knight into that of the
+batchelor, that the friendship I have for him might check the fury of my
+sword, and shield him against the effects of my just indignation; and by
+that means save the life of him who by treachery and artifice had
+attempted to take away mine. But what farther proof need there be of the
+power of those inchanters, to change the appearance of human
+countenances, the fair into the deformed, and the deformed into the
+fair, than what thou thyself hast lately found by certain experience?
+Thou, who not two days since beheld the peerless Dulcinea in all the
+charms and lustre of perfect beauty, while at the same time she appeared
+to me an ugly rustick wench, with bleared eyes, and stinking breath; and
+doubtless, if the wicked magician could effect such a diabolical
+inchantment as that, it is not to be wondered at, if he did the like by
+Carrasco and Thomas Cecial, to rob me of the glory of my victory:
+however, this is my consolation, that the prowess of my arm hath
+prevailed against my enemy, whatever shape he has assumed.’—‘It is God
+alone who knows the truth of all things,’ answered Sancho: who, well
+knowing that the transformation of Dulcinea was the effect of his own
+inchantments, upon that account was not quite convinced by his master’s
+arguments; but durst not mutter the least word, lest something should
+have dropped from him, by which he might have betrayed himself.
+
+While they were discoursing in this manner, a gentleman, mounted in the
+jockey-fashion, on a fine flea-bitten mare, came up with them, dressed
+in a riding-coat of fine green cloth, faced with murry-coloured velvet,
+and a hunting-cap of the same; his furniture of a piece, murry-coloured
+and green; he had a belt of green and gold, at which hung a Moorish
+scymitar, and his buskins were wrought in the same manner; his spurs
+were not gilt, but so finely varnished with green, that as they were
+more of a piece with the rest of his dress, they looked better than if
+they had been pure gold. When this gentleman overtook them, he saluted
+them with great politeness, and was spurring on, in order to pass them,
+when Don Quixote calling to him, said, ‘Signior, if you are not in
+haste, and are a going this way, I should be exceeding glad to join
+company with you.’—‘Sir,’ answered the other, ‘I should not have been in
+such haste to pass you, but was afraid your horse might be unruly, in
+the company of my mare.’—‘If that be all,’ answered Sancho, ‘you may
+stop your mare when you please, with great safety; ours is the most
+sober and most discreet horse in the world, and has more breeding than
+ever to let his naughtiness get the better of him upon such occasions,
+and never transgressed in this particular but once, and then my master
+and I both suffered severely in the flesh for it: I say once more, your
+worship may stop; for if your mare was served up in a dish, our steed
+would not so much as smell to her.’ Upon this assurance, the gentleman
+stopped, and looked with amazement at the air and appearance of Don
+Quixote, who rode without his helmet, which hung like a wallet before
+Sancho, at the pummel of his ass’s pannel; and, on the other hand, Don
+Quixote beheld him with no less attention, conceiving him to be some
+person of figure and distinction. The traveller seemed to be a man about
+fifty; he had some, though few, grey hairs; his features were sharp, and
+in his looks appeared neither levity nor moroseness: in short, his
+appearance bespoke him a man of consequence. He looked with a kind of
+astonishment at Don Quixote, as having never beheld such a phænomenon
+before; the lankness of the horse, and the tall stature of the person
+that rode him, the sepulchral meagreness of his aspect, his solemn
+gravity, the strangeness of his armour, all together forming such a
+composition as perhaps had never before been seen in that country.
+
+Don Quixote observed with what attention the traveller considered him;
+and, by the surprize he saw him in, guessing what he wanted to know, as
+he was himself the very flower of civility, and of excessive
+complaisance, he was resolved to be beforehand with him, and save him
+the trouble of asking any question: ‘Signior,’ said he, ‘I am not at all
+surprized to find, that with amazement you contemplate this my
+appearance, so new to you, and so different from that of other mortals;
+but your wonder will cease, when I have told you that I am of the
+fraternity of those knights whom people distinguish by the title of
+adventure-hunters. I have left my native home, mortgaged my all, bid
+adieu to ease and pleasure, and cast myself upon fortune, to dispose of
+me as she shall think proper; my design being to awaken the lost and
+decayed spirit of knight-errantry: it is now some time since I entered
+upon the resolution of accomplishing this aim, during which period I
+have suffered a variety of fortune, tossed about from one adventure to
+another, sometimes triumphant, at other times not so successful, until I
+have in a great measure fulfilled my design, having relieved many
+disconsolate widows, afforded protection to many distressed damsels, and
+been of aid and assistance to divers married women and fatherless
+children, the true duty and intent of our order; so that, by numberless
+exploits becoming a Christian hero, I am now celebrated in print through
+almost all the nations of the habitable globe. Thirty thousand copies of
+my renowned history are already in the hands of the publick; and if
+Heaven does not think proper to put a stop to it, in all likelihood
+there will be a thousand times as many more. In one word, Sir, I am Don
+Quixote de La Mancha, otherwise stiled the Knight of the Rueful
+Countenance; and though I own it is illiberal to sound one’s own
+praises, yet am I sometimes obliged to do it; but then, never unless
+when no one is by to do it for me; so that, Signior, after what I have
+told you, neither my lance nor my shield, my horse nor my squire, the
+wanness of my countenance, nor the lankness of my person, and all my
+whole composition together, ought any more to affect you with surprize,
+since you know the profession I am of, and the order I belong to.’
+
+There Don Quixote stopped to give the traveller an opportunity of reply;
+but he was so long before he opened his mouth, that it seemed as if he
+could make no answer; however, after a long pause, ‘Sir Knight,’ said
+he, ‘you was not mistaken, when, by the surprize you saw me in, you
+guessed the desire I had to be informed; but I am still as much
+surprized as ever, and though what you say may be right, that my knowing
+who you are ought to have made my wonder cease, it is yet far from
+having that effect upon me. Can it be possible, that there are indeed
+now in the world knights-errant really existing, and that there are
+published accounts of real adventures? I should never have once dreamed
+that there was such a thing upon earth as any one who assisted married
+women and orphans, relieved widows, and protected damsels, if I had not
+had this opportunity of being convinced by now seeing you; and Heaven be
+praised, that this noble history of your real and glorious atchievements
+is in print, as it must efface and discredit those numberless romances
+about knights-errant, who never had being, and with which the world was
+so pestered and abused, to the apparent corruption of the mind of the
+readers, and the discredit of real and true history.’—‘As to that
+circumstance, Sir, there is much to be said, and you must not be too
+rash in believing, that the histories of knight errantry are all
+fable.’—‘Is there any one,’ answered the traveller, ‘who makes a doubt
+of it?’—‘I do, for one,’ answered Don Quixote; ‘but we will drop that
+subject for the present, as I doubt not but, if we continue any time
+travelling together, I shall be able, by the blessing of God, to
+convince you of your error, and to shew you that you are prejudiced only
+by the number of those who have entertained a notion, that such accounts
+are fictitious.’
+
+These last words of Don Quixote gave the gentleman in green a suspicious
+idea of his understanding: he had a notion that he must be disordered in
+his senses, and was expecting some other proof of it; but, without
+entering into farther discourse, Don Quixote desired his companion to
+let him know who he was, as he himself had given an account of his life
+and situation. To which request the gentleman replied, ‘Sir Knight of
+the Rueful Countenance, I am a gentleman born in a village where, if it
+pleases God, we shall all dine to-day; my fortune is better than
+moderate, and my name Don Diego de Miranda. I pass my time chearfully,
+with my wife, my children, and my friends; my usual diversions are
+fishing and hunting; but I neither keep hounds nor hawks; all I have are
+some decoy-partridges and a good ferret. My library consists of about
+some six dozen of Spanish and Latin books; some are books of history,
+others of piety; for as to books of chivalry, I have not yet allowed
+them to come under my roof: I am more inclined to the reading of profane
+than religious authors, if the subjects they treat of are of an innocent
+nature, if the stile is engaging, and the incidents affecting and
+surprizing: but, indeed, Spain produces mighty few performances of this
+sort. I live in terms of good neighbourhood with all about me; sometimes
+I go to their houses, sometimes I invite them to mine; my table is neat
+and clean, and sufficiently affluent, without extravagance. I slander no
+one, nor do I allow backbiters to come near me; my eyes pry not into the
+actions of other men, nor have I any impertinent curiosity to know the
+secrets of their lives. I go to mass every day, and the poor man
+partakes of my substance; I make no ostentation in the good I do, that I
+may defend myself against the attacks of hypocrisy and vain-glory, well
+knowing, that the best fortified heart is hardly proof against these sly
+deceivers. As far as I have an opportunity, I am a reconciler of
+differences among my neighbours: I particularly pay my devotions to the
+blessed Mother, and have an entire dependance on the mercies of God our
+Saviour.’
+
+Sancho had listened with uncommon attention to what the gentleman in
+green said; and this discourse seemed to him of such exalted piety and
+virtue, that he immediately conceived such a man must be endowed with
+the power of working miracles: fully persuaded of the truth of this
+supposition, he threw himself off his ass, ran up to the gentleman,
+seized his right stirrup, and with a heart overflowing with devotion,
+and eyes full of tears, fell a kissing his feet. Which humility, when
+the traveller perceived, ‘What is the matter, friend,’ said he; ‘what is
+the meaning of these embraces?’—‘Pray let me alone,’ said Sancho; ‘for
+in my life before, excepting your worship, did I never know a saint
+mounted on horseback.’—‘I have no title to be thought so,’ answered the
+gentleman; ‘on the contrary, I am a miserable sinner; but the simplicity
+of your behaviour, my friend, shews, that you yourself must be a very
+good man.’ Upon this declaration Sancho quitted him, and again remounted
+Dapple, having by his behaviour unbended the solemn gravity of his
+master into a smile, and increased the wonder of Don Diego.
+
+Don Quixote then made enquiry into the number of children he had,
+informing him at the same time, that the ancient sages, who were not
+enlightened with the knowledge of the true God, reckoned the gifts of
+fortune and nature, abundance of friends and encrease of dutiful
+children, as constituting part of the supreme happiness. ‘Sir,’ answered
+Don Diego, ‘I have one son; and if I had none, should, peradventure,
+think myself happier than I am; not that he is very bad, but because he
+does not come up to what I would wish him to be. He is now eighteen
+years of age, six of which he has spent at Salamanca, studying Greek and
+Latin; and when I would have had him apply to something else, I found
+him so dipt in poetry, if that deserves the name of science, that I
+could not prevail upon him to take to the study of the law, which was
+what I wanted he should do; nor would he apply to divinity, the first
+and noblest of all sciences. I was desirous to make him the honour and
+ornament of his family, as we live in an age, and under a monarch, where
+useful and virtuous learning is so amply recompensed: for what is
+learning without virtue; no better than pearls on a dunghill! He will
+spend whole days in examining whether such a verse in Homer’s Iliad be
+expressed with propriety, whether such an epigram of Martial is to be
+construed into a lewd sense or not, and whether such a verse in Virgil
+will bear this or that meaning. In a word, these authors, with Horace,
+Persius, Juvenal, and Tibullus, engross the whole of his time and
+conversation. As to the modern authors of his own country, he seems to
+have no great relish for them, though, notwithstanding his seeming
+disregard, he is now busied in making a kind of commentary upon four
+verses, which, I believe, are designed as a subject for a prize in the
+schools.’
+
+To this information, the other answered, ‘Signior, children are to be
+considered as part of the bowels of the parents, and be they good or
+bad, we must treat them as such, and cherish them accordingly. It is
+incumbent upon parents to lead them betimes into the paths of decency
+and virtue, to instil into them sound principles, and train them up in
+Christian discipline, that by these means they may be the stay of their
+declining years, and an honour to their own descendants. I am not
+against using persuasion to incline them either to the study of this or
+that science, but look upon using force as altogether unwarrantable;
+more especially as the young gentleman does not study in view of getting
+his livelihood, he being so fortunate as to have that secured by
+inheritance: then I think he should be indulged in pursuing whatever his
+genius or inclination mostly prompts him to; and though in poetry there
+is more pleasure than utility, it generally does honour to the person
+who has a vein for it. I liken poetry to a young, tender, and beautiful
+virgin, whom many other virgins, that is, all the other sciences, are
+assiduous to ornament, enrich, and embellish; now as she makes use of
+them all, so likewise does she reflect a lustre upon them all. But then
+this tender virgin is not to be handled roughly; she is not to be
+dragged through the streets, exposed in publick places, or stand as a
+prostitute at the gates of palaces. She is a kind of alchemy of such
+rare virtue, that whoever knows the nature of her composition may change
+her into pure gold of inestimable value: whoever would keep her must
+narrowly look after her; she must not be indulged in the indecency of
+obscene satire, nor allowed to run into insipid sonnets; and though she
+may enjoy the profits arising from heroick poetry, weeping tragedy, or
+laughing comedy, yet the muse must not be venal; no buffoons must have
+any thing to do with her, and she must be kept sacred from the
+unhallowed multitude, who neither know nor esteem those hidden treasures
+she carries about her. And think not that by the multitude I only mean
+the common rank of men; no, under that class I number all who are
+strangers to real knowledge, be they peers or be they princes. But,
+whoever is possessed of those qualifications I have been mentioning, and
+with them attempts the study and execution of poetry, I say, his name
+will be famous and held in veneration wherever politeness extends its
+influence. As to what you say of your son’s not esteeming the poetry of
+his own country, I don’t think he is quite right in that opinion, and
+for this reason: the mighty Homer did not write in Latin, because he was
+a Greek; nor Virgil in Greek, for the same reason that he was a Roman;
+and, in general, every one of the ancient poets wrote in the language of
+his own country, and did not seek for another to clothe the majesty of
+his ideas. As this is the case, I think it should be a prevailing maxim
+in all countries; nor should we undervalue the German poet for writing
+in his own language, nor the Castilian, nor even the Biscayan, for
+writing in his; but, perhaps, your son does not dislike Spanish poetry,
+but Spanish poets, as being destitute of the knowledge of other
+languages or sciences, that might contribute to cultivate, assist, and
+enliven their own natural genius; and even this prejudice might be
+carried too far; for the maxim that a poet is born with his talent, is
+certainly just; that is, a real poet comes forth a poet into the world,
+and with this natural endowment, implanted in him by his Creator,
+produces, without the help of study or cultivation, such things as
+verify that of the poets when they say, “_Est Deus in nobis._” One so
+born a poet, if he cultivates his genius by the assistance of art, must
+be much better, nay, greatly preferable to him who, without natural
+fire, attains to the knowledge of the rules only; for it is obvious,
+that as art does not exceed nature, but serves to polish and bring it to
+perfection, so art assisting nature, and nature so assisted by art, form
+the accomplished poet. To conclude, Signior, my advice is, that your son
+should be allowed to follow the bent of his own inclination; and as he
+must be already an exceeding good scholar, having mastered the learned
+languages, which may be looked upon as having mounted the first steps in
+his progress to the seat of the sciences, by the assistance of that
+knowledge he will be able, without more help, to climb to the top of
+human literature, which as much adorns and sets off a gentleman as a
+mitre does a bishop, or the long robe the counsel learned in the law. If
+you find him writing satires injurious to private characters, burn his
+works and rebuke him; but if he composes discourses, that comprehend for
+their subject of satire vice in general, as Horace did with so much
+elegance, then commend him: for, though it be unlawful to mark and
+single out particular persons, it is allowable to write against
+particular vices; for example, to write against envy, or to lash the
+envious, and so of others. Here are some poets, indeed, who, rather than
+baulk their fancy of saying a smart thing, will risk being sent to the
+isles of Pontus. As the manners, so will the verses be; if the former
+are chaste, the latter will be so likewise. Writing is the interpreter
+of the mind, which will always produce what is consonant to its own
+native conceptions; and when kings, and the great men of the earth, once
+see this wonderful gift of poetry employed on subjects of wisdom,
+virtue, and dignity, they bestow marks of honour, esteem, and
+munificence upon the poet; they crown him from the leaves of that tree,
+which is proof against the glancing thunderbolt, emblematically
+denoting, that such as wear that crown ought to be secure against all
+hurt or offence.’
+
+The traveller wondered so much at Don Quixote’s discourse, that he began
+to be staggered in his mind, whether he was a madman or not. But as this
+conversation did not altogether hit Sancho’s taste, he had, in the midst
+of it, gone out of the road, to beg a little milk of some shepherds who
+were milking ewes hard by; and the gentleman in green, who seemed very
+fond of the good sense and ingenious conversation of Don Quixote, was
+going to renew their dialogue, when the Don, suddenly lifting up his
+eyes, saw a carriage with the king’s colours meeting them upon the road,
+and taking this for some new adventure, called to Sancho to bring his
+helmet. Sancho, hearing the voice of his master, left the shepherd in
+great hurry, and mounting Dapple, arrived where Don Quixote was, to whom
+there happened a very terrible and tremendous adventure.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XVII.
+ WHICH SETS BEFORE THE READER THAT HIGHEST AND MOST EXALTED PINNACLE,
+ WHICH THE INCREDIBLE MAGNANIMITY OF DON QUIXOTE EVER DID,
+ OR EVER COULD ARRIVE AT—WITH THE HAPPY ISSUE OF THE ADVENTURE OF THE
+ LIONS.
+
+
+The history then proceeds to inform us, that when Don Quixote called
+upon Sancho to bring him his helmet, he, Sancho, was deep in bargain
+with the shepherds about some curds; and finding himself summoned in
+such violent haste by his master, was at a prodigious loss what to do
+with them, for he had paid for them, and could not bear the thoughts of
+losing his purchase: in this extremity he had recourse to his master’s
+helmet, in which he safely stowed them, and hugging himself in this
+lucky thought, away he trotted to receive the commands of his lord and
+master, who desired him to deliver his helmet; ‘For,’ said he, ‘if I
+know aught of adventures, that which I descry yonder will prove such a
+one as will oblige me to have recourse to arms.’
+
+Don Diego, upon hearing this declaration, looked about him every where,
+but could discover nothing, except a carriage coming towards them, with
+two or three flying flags, by which he guessed the carriage might be
+loaded with some of the king’s money, and mentioned this observation to
+Don Quixote, who minded not what he said, his brain wandering so upon
+adventures, that every thing must be one, and nothing but a series of
+one adventure upon the back of another; he therefore answered the
+gentleman to this effect; ‘Sir, forewarned and fore-armed is half the
+day; I am not now to learn that I have enemies of all kinds, visible and
+invisible, neither know I the time, the place, the hour, nor under what
+appearance they will attack me.’ With these words, turning about, he
+demanded his helmet of Sancho; who not having time to disengage the
+curds from it, was obliged to deliver it, with that lining in the
+inside, to his master, who took it, and without farther examination,
+clapped it in a great hurry upon his head, which pressing and squeezing
+the curds, the whey began to ooze down his beard; and this circumstance
+so startled him, that he called out to Sancho, ‘What can this mean? Is
+my skull softening, or my brains melting, or do I sweat from head to
+foot? Surely, this I can say, that if I do sweat, it is not through
+fear, though I am fully persuaded this will prove a most terrible
+adventure. If you have got any thing, let me have it to wipe me; for
+this deluge of sweat blinds my eyes.’ Sancho replied not, but gave him a
+cloth, and with it sent up his thanks to the Almighty, that his master
+had not found out what it was. Don Quixote, after rubbing himself, took
+off his helmet, to see what it was that sat so cool upon his head, and,
+perceiving something white and clotted, put it to his nose, and snuffed
+at it; ‘By the life of my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso,’ cried he, ‘thou
+hast put curds into my helmet, thou traitor, thou ill-bred squire!’ To
+which apostrophe, Sancho answered with great unconcern and tranquillity,
+‘If they are curds, let me have them to eat; but the devil ought rather
+to eat them, for I am sure it must be he who put them there. I offer to
+defile your worship’s helmet! in good troth, I can perceive, by the help
+of that understanding God has given me, that I am not without my
+inchanters too, who are at me, as a sort of member and limb of your
+worship; and I’ll be sworn, have put that nastiness there, to instigate
+your worship to wrath against me, and stir up your worship to anoint my
+ribs in the manner your worship was wont to do. But this time they have
+missed their aim I trow, as I can depend upon the just sentence of my
+master, who will easily weigh with himself, that I had neither curds,
+cream, nor any such stuff; and that, if I had, it was more likely I
+should have crammed them into my own guts than put them into his
+worship’s helmet.’—‘All this is possible,’ cried Don Quixote: and all
+this the other gentleman saw, and saw with astonishment, more especially
+when our hero, after having cleaned his head, beard, chops, and helmet,
+clapped the latter upon his skull, and fixing himself in his seat, tried
+whether or not his sword could be easily drawn; then grasping his spear,
+‘Now,’ cried he, ‘happen what will happen, here am I, determined for the
+combat, should the prince of the evil spirits set himself in battle
+array against me.’
+
+By this time the carriage with the streamers was come up, attended only
+by the driver (who rode one of the mules) and a man who sat upon the
+fore-part of it. Don Quixote wedged himself directly in their way, and
+called out, ‘Whither, my brethren, are you bound? what carriage is this?
+what does it contain? what ensigns are those displayed?’ To which
+interrogations the waggoner replied, ‘The carriage itself belongs to me,
+and within are two savage lions, which the general of Oran sends to
+court to his majesty: the streamers are the ensigns of our lord the
+king, to shew that what is here contained belongs to the crown.’—‘Are
+these lions large?’ answered Don Quixote.—‘So large,’ replied the man,
+who sat on the fore-part of the waggon, ‘that lions of a more monstrous
+size never came from Barbary into this kingdom. I am their keeper, and
+have had several under my charge before now, but never any so big as
+they: there is a male and female; the he is in the first cage, and the
+female in the other; they are now ravenous with hunger, having had no
+food to-day, and therefore I must entreat you to get out of the way, as
+we must make haste to the place where they are to be fed.’ To which
+intreaty, Don Quixote answered with a half smile, ‘What are your lion
+whelps to me, and at this time of day too! are lion whelps brought
+against me! I’ll make those who sent them hither—yes, by the holy God!
+I’ll make them see whether I am a man to be scared by lions. Come,
+honest friend, get off; and as you are their keeper, open the cages and
+turn them out; for, in the midst of this plain, will I make the savage
+beasts of the wilderness know who Don Quixote de La Mancha is, in
+defiance of the inchanters who have sent them against me.’
+
+‘Aha!’ said Don Diego to himself, ‘I think our Knight of the Rueful
+Countenance has now given us a pretty incontestable sample of what he
+is; these curds have certainly soaked his skull, and suppurated his
+brains.’ Then Sancho came up to Diego, and said, ‘For God’s sake,
+Signior, take care that my master’s worship does not encounter these
+lions, or belike we shall all of us be tore to pieces.’—‘What!’ answered
+he, ‘is your master then really so much out of his wits, that you
+believe and dread he will engage these savage monsters?’—‘He is not out
+of his wits,’ replied Sancho, ‘but prodigious bold.’
+
+‘I’ll make him give over,’ answered the other; then going up to Don
+Quixote, who was pressing the keeper to open the cages, he said,
+‘Signior, gentlemen of the order of knights-errant ought to go upon
+adventures that have a probability of success, not such as are quite
+desperate; for that courage which is almost temerity, savours rather of
+madness than true fortitude. Besides, these lions do not come with any
+hostile design against you; no, they think of nothing less; they are
+going to be presented to the king, and as they are on their way to
+court, I think they should not be stopped in their journey.’—‘Pray, good
+Signior,’ said Don Quixote, ‘if you will please to get away from hence,
+and look after your ferrets and decoy-partridges, do, and leave every
+one to mind his own business: this is my business, and it behoves me to
+know whether or not these lions come against me.’ Then turning to the
+keeper, ‘Sirrah,’ said he, ‘if you do not immediately open the cages, I
+swear by the living God, I will this instant pin you to the place where
+you sit.’
+
+The carter seeing the obstinate resolution of this armed phantom, who
+addressed him, begged for the sake of charity, he would let him take off
+his mules, and get with them out of danger, before the lions were
+uncaged, ‘For should my cattle be slain,’ said he, ‘I am undone for
+ever, having nothing to depend upon for bread but this cart and these
+mules.’—‘Man of little faith,’ said Don Quixote, ‘alight; take off thy
+mules, and do what thou wilt; but thou shalt quickly see thou hast
+laboured in vain, and that thou mightest have spared thyself this
+unnecessary trouble.’
+
+The carter then got off, and unharnessed in great hurry, and the keeper
+spoke aloud, ‘I call all present to witness that I am forced against my
+will, to open the cages, and let loose the lions; and I here declare,
+that this gentleman is chargeable with, and answerable for, all the harm
+they shall do, as also for my salary and perquisites over and above. And
+now, gentlemen, pray take care of yourselves, and get out of the way;
+for, as to me, I know they will do me no harm.’ Don Diego again urged
+him to forbear attempting so extravagant an action, alledging it was
+tempting of God, to think of going about such a desperate undertaking.
+The other replied, that he knew what he did, and Don Diego once more
+desired him to think well of what he was about, as he was certain that
+he deceived himself. ‘Signior,’ said Don Quixote, ‘if you do not care to
+be a spectator of what you think will be a tragical adventure, set spurs
+to your mare, and provide for your own safety.’ Sancho, upon this
+intimation, fell a blubbering, and earnestly besought him not to think
+of entering upon this adventure; ‘For, in companion of this,’ said he,
+‘the windmills, the terrible adventure of the fulling-mill hammers, nay,
+all the exploits your worship has performed during the course of your
+life, are but custards and puff-paste. Consider, Sir,’ continued he,
+‘that there can be no inchantment in this cage; I myself have peeped
+through the cage, and there I saw the claw of a real living lion; and
+sure I am, that the beast that owns such a claw must be bigger than a
+mountain.’—‘Be he large or small,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘thy fear would
+magnify him to the bigness of one half of the globe. Be gone, leave me:
+if I die, you know our old agreement; repair to Dulcinea. I say no
+more!’ He spoke several other things, which shewed he was determined on
+what he was about, and that all attempts to dissuade him were in vain.
+
+Don Diego would willingly have stopped him; but had neither weapons nor
+armour equal to the other’s, and, besides, did not think it prudent to
+engage with a man who was frantick; for, by this time, he was convinced
+that Don Quixote was so in all respects; who still pressing the keeper,
+and repeating his threats, Don Diego clapped spurs to his mare, Sancho
+applied his heels to Dapple, the carter put forward his mules, and all
+endeavoured to get as fast out of the way as they could, before the
+beasts were let loose. Sancho deplored the fate of his master, who he
+believed was just going to be sacrificed by the lions: he bewailed his
+own hard fortune, and cursed the hour when he thought of serving him
+again; however, amidst the intenseness of his grief, he ceased not to
+punch and jog on his ass, that he might get from the cart as fast as
+possible. The keeper seeing that these runaways were now safe at a
+sufficient distance, renewed his expostulations with Don Quixote, who
+said, ‘I hear you, friend; but give yourself no more trouble with
+arguments or entreaties, it will all signify nothing; and therefore I
+desire you will make haste.’
+
+While the keeper protracted the time in opening the first grate, Don
+Quixote considered with himself, whether he had best alight for the
+combat, or continue on the back of Rozinante; and determined, at last,
+to fight on foot, lest his steed might take fright at the sight of the
+lions. Accordingly, he leaped upon the ground, threw away his lance,
+braced his shield, and drew his sword; in which attitude, approaching
+with great steadiness, he placed himself just before the cart,
+recommending himself, with great devotion, first to the protection of
+the Almighty, and then to his mistress Dulcinea del Toboso.
+
+[Illustration: Don Quixote Braves the Lions.]
+
+We must observe, that at this place the author of this history breaks
+out into pathetick exclamations, expressing himself to this purpose: O
+Don Quixote de La Mancha! renowned for fortitude, brave beyond human
+expression; thou mirrour, in which all heroes of the earth may
+contemplate their own perfections! thou second and other Don Manual de
+Leon, glory and ornament of Spanish knights! how shall I find words
+worthy to relate this matchless atchievement: by what power of argument
+shall I make it gain credit among future generations? for what encomiums
+ever so exalted, even beyond the hyperbole, can there be but what thou
+deservest? On foot thou stood’st, collected within thy magnanimous self,
+with a sword far from being sharp, with a shield far from bright and
+shining; there, I say, didst thou stand waiting and expecting two of the
+fiercest lions that were ever yet engendered in the dens of Libya. I
+want words wherewithal to embellish thy great atchievements: let thy own
+exploits, then, be the harbinger of thy praises, O heroick Manchegan!
+
+The author here breaks off his exclamation, and proceeds in the recital
+of the history, saying,—
+
+The keeper seeing Don Quixote fixed in this posture, and finding himself
+under a necessity of letting loose the he-lion, to avoid the resentment
+of this enraged and intrepid hero, flung the door of the first cage
+open, where the lion appeared lying, of a monstrous bigness and
+terrifying aspect: he immediately turned himself round in the cage, put
+out one of his paws, and stretching himself at full length yawned and
+gaped with great composure, and then, with a tongue of about half a yard
+long, cleaned his face and eyes; after which he thrust his head out of
+the cage, and stared around him with eyes like firebrands; a sight
+sufficient to have struck a damp into the most intrepid heart: but Don
+Quixote only fixed his eyes attentively upon him, wishing for the minute
+he would leap out of the cart, that he might engage and cut him in
+pieces; to such an unaccountable degree had his frenzy worked up his
+disturbed imagination. But the lion, naturally generous, and more
+inclinable to be gentle than rough, heeded not his bravadoes or
+flourishing: on the contrary, after having looked around him, as we have
+observed, turned about, and shewing our hero his backside, with great
+composure and tranquillity, laid himself down again to rest; which
+circumstance Don Quixote perceiving, ordered the keeper to rouze him by
+blows, and oblige him to come forth. ‘Nay, that I wont,’ answered he;
+‘for, should I enrage him, he would immediately tear me to pieces: come,
+Sir Knight, be contented with what you have done, which is all that can
+be expected from any man’s courage, and give over tempting fortune any
+more. The door of his cage is open, and he may come forth, or not, as he
+pleases; but as he has not come out now, he will not all day. The
+intrepidity of your worship’s valour is sufficiently vouched; I
+apprehend the bravery of no combatant needs do more than challenge his
+adversary, and await him in the field; and if the enemy won’t meet him,
+the imputation of cowardice lies with him, and the crown of victory
+devolves upon the other.’—‘You say true,’ said Don Quixote; ‘shut the
+door, my friend, and let me have, under your hand, in the best manner
+you are able to draw it, a certificate of what you have now seen; for I
+think it is highly fitting mankind should know that you opened the
+lion’s cage; that I waited for him, and he came not out; and that I
+waited for him again, and he came not out, and that again he laid
+himself down. I am not bound to do any more; so inchantments avaunt, and
+God prosper truth, justice, and noble chivalry! shut the door therefore,
+and I will wave a signal for those who have run off to return, and have
+an account of this action from your own mouth.’
+
+The keeper obeyed; and Don Quixote clapping upon the point of his lance
+the cloth Sancho had given him to wipe off the curds, called out to them
+who were still pursuing their flight, and at every step, all in a body,
+turning about their heads, and Don Diego leading them on; but Sancho
+chancing to espy the signal of the linen cloth, ‘I’ll be bound to be
+crucified,’ said he, ‘if my master has not got the better of the lions;
+for he now calls to us.’ They all stopped, and perceived it was Don
+Quixote who made the sign; upon which the violence of their terrors
+somewhat abated, and they approached nearer and nearer by degrees, till
+they could distinctly hear the voice of Don Quixote calling to them; at
+last they came back to the cart, and Don Quixote said to the carter,
+‘Harness your mules again, my friend, and go on in your journey; and,
+Sancho, give him and the keeper two crowns of gold, as a recompence for
+the time I have detained them.’—‘That I will most willingly do; but
+where are the lions, dead or alive?’ Then the keeper very
+circumstantially, and dividing his discourse with great propriety, gave
+an account of the issue of this adventure, exaggerating with all his
+might, and all the power of rhetorick he could muster up, the courage of
+Don Quixote: ‘At sight of whom,’ said he, ‘the lion, overawed, would
+not, or rather durst not, venture out of the cage, though I held the
+door open a considerable time; and that, upon remonstrating to the great
+knight, that it was tempting of God to provoke the lion so far as to
+oblige him to come out by force, as he wanted him to have done, and was
+going to make him do whether he would or not, his honour had suffered
+the cage-door to be shut.’—‘Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘what dost thou
+think now; can inchantments avail aught against true courage? they may,
+indeed, and with ease, stand in the way of my good fortune; but of
+valour and resolution they never can deprive me.’ Sancho gave the crowns
+to the people; the carter harnessed his mules, and the keeper kissed Don
+Quixote’s hand for his liberality, and promised, when he arrived at
+court, he would give an account of this heroick atchievement to his
+majesty himself. ‘Should the king,’ said Don Quixote, ‘perchance enquire
+who performed it, tell him it was the Knight of the Lions; for I am
+determined, that, from this time forward, the title I have been hitherto
+distinguished by, of Knight of the Rueful Countenance, shall be changed,
+bartered, and sunk, into that of Knight of the Lions; and in this
+alteration I imitate the example of knights-errant of old, who, as they
+pleased, altered their designations as it best suited their purposes.’
+
+The carriage went forward, Don Quixote, Sancho, and the traveller in
+green, pursued their journey; and during all this time, Don Diego de
+Miranda was so attentive to remark and observe the actions of Don
+Quixote, that he had not opened his mouth; but looked upon him as a man
+whose good sense was blended with a strange sort of madness: the reason
+was, he knew as yet nothing of the first part of his history; had he
+read that, his amazement at the knight’s words and actions would have
+vanished, as it would have cleared up to him the nature of his frenzy;
+but as he knew not that, he was at times divided in his opinion,
+sometimes believing him in his senses, and at other times thinking him
+frantick; because what he spoke was sensible, consistent, and genteelly
+expressed; but his actions discovered all the symptoms of wildness,
+folly, and temerity. ‘For what greater sign of disorder,’ said he to
+himself, ‘can there be, than for a man to clap on a helmet full of
+curds, and then take it into his head that some magician had liquified
+his skull; and what more certain proof of foolhardiness and wild frenzy,
+than for a person, in spite of all that can be said to him, to resolve
+to engage lions?’
+
+Don Quixote interrupted these reflections and soliloquy of his
+fellow-traveller, by saying, ‘Signior Don Diego de Miranda, I don’t
+doubt but that in your judgment I must pass for an extravagant madman;
+and, indeed, no wonder; for, to be sure, my actions would seem to
+declare me such: but, at the same time, I must beg leave to say to you,
+that I am not so disordered, or so bereft of understanding, as to you I
+may have seemed. The gay cavalier, who in burnished armour, before the
+ladies, prances over the lists, makes a gallant appearance! the
+adventurous knight too shews off to great advantage, when in the midst
+of the spacious square, in view of his prince, he transfixes the furious
+bull. And a noble appearance make those knights, who, in military
+exercises, or such like, are the life, spirit, and even honour of their
+prince’s court. But a much more noble figure than all these makes the
+knight-errant, who, in the solitudes of the desart, through the almost
+impervious passages of the forest, and over the craggy mountains, goes
+in quest of perilous adventures, to bring them to a successful issue,
+and that only to obtain glory, honour, and an immortal name. A
+knight-errant, I say, makes a more glorious appearance, when he assists
+the widow in some solitary plain, than the courtier knight, when he
+lavishes his gallantry on a town-lady. All cavaliers have their
+different spheres, in which they act; let the courtier pay his
+attendance to the ladies, adorn the court of his prince with the
+splendor of his equipage, entertain gentlemen of inferior fortunes with
+the hospitality of his sumptuous table; let him propose matches of
+different exercise, and direct the justs and tournaments; let him shew
+himself splendid, liberal, and munificent; and, above all, approve
+himself a good Christian: in acting thus, he will discharge the duties
+that belong to him. But for the knight-errant, let him explore the most
+hidden recesses of the universe, plunge into the perplexities of the
+labyrinths; let him, at all times, not be afraid of even
+impossibilities; in the barren, wasteful wilderness, let him defy the
+scorching rays of the solstitial sun, and the piercing chillings of the
+nipping frost. Lions must not frighten him, phantoms must not terrify
+him, nor dragons dismay him; for, in searching after such, engaging with
+and getting the better of all difficulties, consists his true and proper
+occupation. It being my fortune, then, to be of this last order, I
+cannot, consistent with that, avoid engaging in whatever I deem to be
+part of the duty of my calling; and for these reasons, though I knew,
+that encountering the lions was in itself an act of the greatest
+temerity, yet it immediately belonged to my profession: I am very
+sensible that true fortitude is placed between the two extremes of
+cowardice and fool-hardiness; but then, it is better valour should mount
+even to an over-daring hardiness, than be debased to pusillanimity; for,
+as the prodigal is more likely to become truly generous than the miser,
+so will the over-courageous sooner be brought to true valour, than the
+coward to be courageous at all; and in undertaking adventures, I assure
+you, Don Diego, it is much better to overdo than underdo, and much
+better does it sound in the ear of him to whom it is related, that a
+knight is daring and presumptuous, than that he is pusillanimous and
+faint-hearted.’
+
+‘Signior Don Quixote,’ answered Diego, ‘I think all you have said is
+consonant to the rule of right reason; and I am of opinion, that if the
+laws and statutes of true chivalry were lost, they would be found
+deposited and faithfully recorded in your breast: but if you please, we
+will put on, for it grows late; let us get towards my house and village,
+that you may have some rest, and taste of some refreshment after your
+late fatigue, which, if it does not weary the body, must be heavy upon
+the mind, the labours of which often affect the body likewise.’—‘I
+accept of your invitation, Don Diego,’ said the other, ‘as a favour and
+mark of politeness.’ And hastening forward a little quicker than they
+had done before, they arrived about two in the afternoon at the
+habitation of Diego, on whom Don Quixote bestowed the appellation of the
+Knight of the Green Surtout.
+
+END OF BOOK I. PART II.
+
+
+
+
+ BOOK II.
+
+
+ CHAP. I.
+ OF WHAT BEFEL DON QUIXOTE
+ AT THE CASTLE OR HOUSE OF THE KNIGHT OF THE GREEN SURTOUT—WITH OTHER
+ OUT-OF-THE-WAY MATTERS.
+
+
+Don Quixote found that Diego’s house, like the houses of most country
+gentlemen, was large and roomy, with the arms of the family over the
+great gates, cut out in rough stone; the buttery was in the yard, the
+cellar was under the porch, and around were placed divers jars, which
+jars being of the manufactory of Toboso, recalled the memory of the
+metamorphosed and inchanted Dulcinea; upon which, without reflecting
+what he said, or before whom he poured out his sighs and tears: ‘O
+dearest pledges,’ said he, ‘which now I find in bitterness of sorrow,
+but sweet and ravishing when Heaven’s high will ordained it so. O jars
+of Toboso, which have recalled into my mind the dear idea of my greatest
+sorrow!’ This exclamation was overheard by the young poet, Diego’s son;
+who, along with his mother, had come down to receive Don Quixote. Both
+mother and son were struck with his uncouth figure, and he, alighting
+from Rozinante, with great good breeding, begged leave to kiss the
+lady’s hand. To which intreaty Don Diego added, ‘Madam, receive with
+your usual politeness, Signior Don Quixote de La Mancha, knight-errant,
+whom I here introduce to you as a gentleman of the brightest parts and
+most intrepid courage of any in the world.’ Donna Christina (for that
+was the lady’s name) received him with all the marks of respect and
+esteem, and Don Quixote overpaid them in polite and mannerly
+acknowledgments; the same kind of intercourse passed between him and the
+young scholar, whom he took by his conversation to be a gentleman of
+vivacity and acuteness.
+
+The author here minutely describes Don Diego’s house, gives an inventory
+of the furniture usually contained in the house of a rich country
+gentleman: but the translators of this history have thought it
+adviseable not to mention these and such other particular matters, as
+being rather foreign from the main scope of this history, in which truth
+has more energy than needless and languid digressions.
+
+Don Quixote was conducted into a hall, where Sancho disarmed him; after
+which, he remained in his other accoutrements, a pair of wide walloon
+breeches, and a shamoy-leather doublet, stained with the rust of his
+armour; his band was collegian, neither starched nor laced; his buskins
+of the colour of dates, and his shoes of waxed leather; he girded upon
+his thigh his trusty sword, which hung at a belt of seal’s skin, for it
+is believed he had been for some years troubled with an imbecility in
+his loins; and over all these was a long cloak of good grey cloth; but,
+before he stirred any farther, he applied to his face five or six
+pitchers (the precise number not being exactly ascertained) of fair
+water, which, nevertheless, still ran off exhibiting a whey colour; and
+it was undoubtedly owing to the irregular appetite of Sancho, and his
+having made the bargain for these nasty curds, that his master was now
+scoured so white and so clean. In this equipment, as here described, and
+with a gallant air and address, Don Quixote walked into another hall,
+where the young gentleman of the house was waiting to receive and
+entertain him, till dinner should be got ready; for as to the Lady Donna
+Christina, she was busy in ordering matters so, upon the arrival of this
+noble guest, as to let it be seen she knew what reception to give those
+who came to visit under her roof.
+
+While Don Quixote was unarming, Don Lorenzo (that was the name of
+Diego’s son) took the opportunity of that leisure time to ask his
+father, who that knight was he had brought home to them; ‘For,’ said he,
+‘his name and his uncouth figure, and your telling us, at the same time,
+that he is a knight-errant, puzzle both my mother and me
+prodigiously.’—‘I know not,’ said Don Diego, ‘what answer to make you;
+all I can say is, I never saw a madman act more frantickly, and have
+heard him talk so very sensibly, as gave the lye to all his actions: but
+I would have you enter into conversation with him, and sound the depth
+of his understanding; you have sense enough, and therefore I would have
+you form a judgment of him according to your own observation; to say the
+truth, I myself am more inclined to believe him distracted than
+otherwise.’
+
+Upon this intimation, Don Lorenzo went to entertain Don Quixote, as we
+have mentioned; who, among other discourse, said to Lorenzo, ‘Signior
+Don Diego de Miranda, your father has been pleased to inform me a little
+of your great genius and good judgment, and particularly that you are a
+great poet.’—‘A poet, in some sense, I may be,’ said Lorenzo; ‘but a
+great one did I never so much as dare even in my own imagination to
+think myself. True it is, I am a little fond of poetry, and of reading
+the good poets; but don’t at all for that reason merit the title my
+father is pleased to bestow upon me.’—‘I love your reserve,’ said Don
+Quixote: ‘for poets are usually far removed from modesty, each thinking
+himself the greatest in the world.’—‘No rule holds universally,’
+answered Lorenzo, ‘and there may be one who is really a great poet, and
+yet does not think himself so.’—‘There must be very few such,’ answered
+the other; ‘but pray, Sir,’ continued he, ‘what verses are those you are
+about, which your father says make you so anxious and studious? for, if
+it be commenting upon some theme, I know somewhat of the art of
+paraphrasing, and should be glad to see what your performance is; and if
+they are designed as a poetical prize, let me advise you to obtain the
+second, for the first is decreed in view of interest, or in favour of
+the great quality of some person; but merit carries the second: so that,
+according to the general practice of our universities, the third becomes
+the second, and the first the third; but, notwithstanding this
+acceptation, the name of the first makes a great shew.’—‘So far,
+surely,’ said Lorenzo to himself, ‘this gentleman shews no signs of a
+disturbed understanding; but we’ll go on.—Your worship, I presume, has
+been long at the schools; pray, Sir, what sciences have you addicted
+yourself to?’—‘That of knight-errantry,’ replied Don Quixote; ‘a science
+equally sublime as your poetry; and, in my humble opinion, even mounted
+a few steps above it.’—‘That science,’ answered Lorenzo, ‘I am hitherto
+a stranger to; it has not yet come within the extent of my
+knowledge.’—‘It is a science,’ answered the other, ‘that includes in
+itself virtually, most, if not all the other sciences in the world; for
+he who professes it must be a civilian, and know the laws both of
+distributive and communicative justice, to determine, with equity and
+propriety, what lawfully and properly belongs to every individual: he
+must be a good divine and casuist, that he may, with clearness and
+precision, defend the principles of the Christian faith, which he
+professes, as often as he shall be required so to do: he ought to be a
+physician, and particularly a botanist, that, in the midst of desarts
+and wildernesses, he may know those herbs that are of efficacy in curing
+wounds; for a knight-errant cannot at every turn have recourse to a
+surgeon. He ought to be an astronomer, to distinguish by the stars the
+time of the night, together with the climate and part of the globe on
+which he chances to be: he must be learned in the mathematicks, for
+which he will frequently have occasion; and besides being adorned with
+all the theological and cardinal virtues, he ought to descend to other
+minute branches of science. I say, for example, he must know how to swim
+like an herring, to shoe an horse, to mend a saddle and bridle; and,
+returning to what we have observed above, he must preserve his fealty to
+God and his mistress; he must be chaste in thought, decent in speech,
+liberal in action, valiant in exploits, patient in toil, charitable with
+the needy; and finally, an asserter of truth, even though the defence of
+it should cost him his life. Of all these great and small qualities is a
+good knight-errant composed; so that Signior Don Lorenzo may judge,
+whether it be a snivelling science which is learned and professed by a
+knight-errant: and whether it may not be compared with the sublimest
+which are taught in colleges and schools.’—‘If that be the case,’
+replied Don Lorenzo, ‘I affirm, that it has the advantage over all
+others.’—‘How!’ cried Don Quixote, ‘if that be the case!’—‘What I would
+say,’ resumed Lorenzo, ‘is, that I doubt whether there ever were or are
+knights-errants adorned with so many virtues.’—‘I have often said what I
+am now going to repeat,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘that the greatest part
+of the world believes there never were knights-errant; and, in my
+opinion, if Heaven does not work a miracle to prove that they both did
+and do exist, whatever trouble may be taken will fail of success, as I
+know by repeated experience. I will not, therefore, spend time at
+present, in refuting and rectifying the error in which you and many
+others are involved; but my intention is to pray that Heaven will
+extricate you from your mistake, and give you to understand how
+advantageous and necessary knights-errant have been to the world in past
+ages, and how useful they might be to the present, were it the custom to
+solicit their assistance: but, now, for the sins of mankind, idleness,
+sloth, gluttony, and extravagance, prevail and triumph.’ Here Don
+Lorenzo said within himself, ‘Now hath our guest given us the slip; but,
+nevertheless, he is a whimsical madman, and I should be an idle fool, if
+I thought otherwise.’
+
+In this place their discourse was interrupted by a call to table; and
+Don Diego asked his son, what he had fairly extracted from the genius of
+his guest. To this question he replied, ‘All the best physicians and
+writers that the world contains, will not extract him fairly from the
+blotted sheet of his madness; but he is a party-coloured maniack, full
+of lucid intervals.’ They sat down to eat, and their repast was such as
+Don Diego had said upon the road he was wont to bestow upon his friends
+whom he invited, neat, plentiful, and savoury; but what yielded more
+satisfaction to Don Quixote, was the wonderful silence that prevailed
+over the whole house, which in this particular resembled a monastery of
+Carthusians.
+
+The cloth being removed, grace said, and hands washed, Don Quixote
+earnestly desired that Don Lorenzo would repeat the verses designed for
+the literary contest; and the young gentleman answered, ‘Rather than
+appear one of those authors, who when they are requested to rehearse
+their works, refuse to grant the favour, and on the other hand, disgorge
+them upon those who have no inclination to hear them; I will repeat my
+gloss, from which I expect no reward, as I composed it solely with a
+view to exercise my genius.’—‘It was the opinion of an ingenious friend
+of mine,’ said Don Quixote, ‘that no man ought to fatigue himself in
+glossing upon verses; because, as he observed, the gloss could never
+come up to the text; and very often, or indeed almost always, the gloss
+was foreign to the original proposition; besides, the laws of the gloss
+were extremely narrow, restricting the paraphraser from the use of
+interrogations; and, “Said he,” or, “I will say;” as well as from
+changing verbs into nouns, and altering the sentiment; with other ties
+and shackles incurred by those who try their fortune in this way, as you
+yourself undoubtedly know.’—‘Verily, Signior Don Quixote,’ cried Don
+Lorenzo, ‘I am very desirous of intrapping your worship in false Latin;
+but it is not in my power, for you slip through my fingers like an
+eel.’—‘I do not know,’ answered the knight, ‘what you mean by saying I
+slip through your fingers.’—‘I will explain myself some other time,’
+replied Don Lorenzo; ‘mean-while, your worship will be pleased to hear
+the paraphrase and the text, which run thus—
+
+
+
+ ‘THE TEXT.
+
+ ‘Could I the moments past renew,
+ Though fate should other joys deny;
+ Or bring the future scenes to view
+ In time’s dark womb that rip’ning lie.
+
+
+ ‘THE GLOSS.
+
+ ‘As all things perish and decay;
+ So did that happiness I mourn,
+ On silent pinion fleet away;
+ Ah! never—never to return.
+ At Fortune’s feet forlorn I lie:
+ Would she again propitious strew
+ Her favours, who more blest than I,
+ _Could I the moments past renew_!
+
+ ‘No pleasure, palm, or wreathe I claim,
+ No wealth or triumph seek to find;
+ For all my wish, and all my aim,
+ Is to retrieve my peace of mind.
+ Ah, Fortune! thy returning smile
+ Would change to bliss my destiny,
+ And ev’ry gloomy thought beguile,
+ _Though fate should other joys deny_.
+
+ ‘Fond wish! impossible and vain;
+ No pow’r on this terrestrial ball
+ Can Time’s unwearied foot detain,
+ Or his accomplish’d flight recall.
+ He forward flies, nor looks behind;
+ And those miscarriage will pursue,
+ Who hope this fugitive to bind,
+ _Or bring the future scenes to view_.
+
+ ‘Perplex’d with hopes and fears I live,
+ Tho’ death at once would ease my pain;
+ What folly, then, for me to grieve,
+ Who can that easy cure obtain?
+ No! yet a wiser course I’ll steer,
+ Resolv’d my fortune still to try,
+ Until those happier days appear,
+ _In time’s dark womb that rip’ning lie_.’
+
+Don Lorenzo no sooner concluded his paraphrase, than Don Quixote
+starting up, took the young gentleman by the right-hand, and raising his
+voice even almost to a halloo, pronounced, ‘Now, by the Heaven of
+heavens! noble youth, you are the best poet in the world, and deserve to
+be crowned with laurel, not by Cyprus or Gaeta, as an author said, whom
+God pardon, but by the academy of Athens, did it now subsist, and by
+those of Paris, Bologna, and Salamanca, which are still in being. Heaven
+grant, that those judges who deny you the first prize, may be transfixed
+by the arrows of Apollo, and that the Muses may never deign to cross the
+thresholds of their doors. Signior, let me hear, if you please, some of
+your more majestick verses, that I may be thoroughly acquainted with the
+pulse of your admirable genius.’ Is it not diverting to observe, that
+Don Lorenzo was pleased with the applause of Don Quixote, although he
+considered him as a madman? O influence of flattery, how far dost thou
+extend! and how unlimited are the limits of thy agreeable jurisdiction!
+This truth is verified in the behaviour of Lorenzo; who, in compliance
+with the desire and intreaty of the knight, repeated this sonnet, on the
+fable or story of Pyramus and Thisbe.
+
+
+ SONNET.
+
+ Fair Thisbe’s charms what bulwarks could withstand!
+ They pierc’d e’en to her gallant lover’s soul;
+ And Cupid hasten’d from the Cyprian strand,
+ To view the narrow paths by which they stole.
+ Here silence spoke; and through that narrow breach,
+ Which e’en the timid voice durst not essay,
+ Th’ intrepid souls to perfect union stretch:
+ Inspir’d, impower’d, by love’s almighty sway.
+ Th’ ill-fated pair to death untimely came,
+ With flow’ry pleasure’s tempting bait intic’d:
+ By the same poignard, monument, and fame,
+ At once destroy’d, enclos’d, immortaliz’d.
+
+‘Blessed be God!’ cried Don Quixote, when he had heard the sonnet of Don
+Lorenzo, ‘that amidst the infinite number of consumptive poets that now
+exist, I have found one consummate, as your worship has plainly evinced
+yourself, by the art and execution of those stanzas.’
+
+The knight was sumptuously regaled in the house of Don Diego, for the
+space of four days; at the expiration of which he thanked his
+entertainer for the noble treatment he had received from his
+hospitality, and begged leave to depart; for as it did not become
+knights-errant to devote much time to ease and banquetting, he was
+desirous of fulfilling the duty of his profession in seeking adventures,
+with which he understood that country abounded, and in which he hoped to
+employ the time till the day of the tournament of Saragossa, whither he
+was bound; but, first of all, he was resolved to enter the cave of
+Montesinos, about which so many strange stories were recounted all over
+that neighbourhood, that he might investigate and discover the origin
+and real springs of the seven lakes of Ruydera. Don Diego and his son
+applauded the glorious design, and desired he would supply himself with
+whatever their house or fortune could afford; for they would, with the
+utmost good-will, perform that service, which they equally owed to his
+personal valour and honourable profession. At length arrived the day of
+his departure, as joyful to the knight as dismal and unfortunate to
+Sancho Panza, who had lived so much at his ease amidst the plenty of Don
+Diego’s house, that he could not without reluctance return to the hunger
+that prevails in dreary forests, and to the poverty of his ill provided
+bags, which, however, he now took care to fill and stuff with what he
+thought most necessary for his occasions.
+
+At parting, Don Quixote addressing himself to Don Lorenzo, ‘I know not,’
+said he, ‘whether I have already told your worship, but if I have, let
+me now repeat the intimation, that when you are inclined to take the
+shortest and easiest road to the inaccessible summit of the temple of
+fame, you have no more to do, but to leave on one side the path of
+poetry, which is pretty narrow, and follow that of knight-errantry,
+which, though the narrowest of all others, will conduct you to the
+throne of empire, in the turning of a straw.’ With this advice did the
+knight, as it were, sum up the process of his madness; which, however,
+was still more manifest in this addition: ‘Heaven knows what pleasure I
+should feel in the company and association of Don Lorenzo, whom I would
+teach, by my own example, to spare the fallen, and trample the haughty
+under foot; virtues annexed to the order I profess: but as his tender
+years do not require such tutorage, nor would his laudable exercises
+permit him to pursue my steps, I shall content myself with assuring his
+worship, that being a poet, he may certainly acquire renown, if he will
+conduct himself rather by the opinion of others, than his own; for no
+parent ever thought his own off-spring ugly, and this prejudice is still
+more strong towards the children of the understanding.’
+
+Both father and son admired anew the strange medley of Don Quixote’s
+discourse, in which so much discretion and madness were jumbled
+together; and were astonished at the wilfulness and obstinacy with which
+he was so wholly bent upon the search of his misadventurous adventures,
+that constituted the very aim of all his desires. Nevertheless, they
+repeated their offers of service and civility, and with the good leave
+of the lady of the castle, Don Quixote and Sancho set out on Rozinante
+and Dapple.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. II.
+ IN WHICH IS RECOUNTED
+ THE ADVENTURE OF THE ENAMOURED SHEPHERD—WITH OTHER TRULY DIVERTING
+ INCIDENTS.
+
+
+A little way Don Quixote had travelled from the habitation of Don Diego,
+when he was joined by two persons dressed like ecclesiasticks, or
+students, and a couple of labouring men mounted upon asses; behind one
+of the students was a bundle wrapped up in green buckram, seemingly
+consisting of some linen and two pair of coarse thread stockings; while
+the other was encumbered with nothing but a couple of new black
+fencing-foils, with their buttons. The countrymen carried other things,
+which discovered and gave notice, that they were on their return from
+some great town, where they had made a purchase, and were bringing it
+home to their own village; and they, as well as the students, were
+seized with that admiration which was incident to all those who for the
+first time beheld Don Quixote; indeed, they burned with curiosity to
+know what sort of a creature he was, so different in appearance from
+other men.
+
+The knight saluted them courteously, and understanding their road was
+the same route that he designed to follow, made a proffer of his
+company, at the same time begging they would slacken their pace, as the
+beasts travelled faster than his horse. In order to facilitate their
+compliance with his request, he briefly told them who he was, made them
+acquainted with his office and profession, which was chivalry, and
+observed that he was going in quest of adventures, through all parts of
+the world; giving them to understand, that his proper name was Don
+Quixote de La Mancha, and his appellative the Knight of the Lions.
+
+All this information was Greek or gibberish to the countrymen, but not
+to the students, who immediately discovered the weakness of Don
+Quixote’s brain; nevertheless, they beheld him with admiration, and one
+of them, in a respectful manner accosted him thus: ‘If your worship, Sir
+Knight, follows no determined road, as those who go in quest of
+adventures seldom do, be so good as to accompany us, and you will be an
+eye-witness of one of the most splendid and opulent weddings that ever
+was celebrated in La Mancha, or in many leagues around.’
+
+When Don Quixote asked if it was the marriage of any prince, which he so
+highly extolled, the other replied, ‘It is no other than the bridal of a
+farmer and a country maid; he the richest of all this neighbourhood, and
+she the comeliest that ever man beheld. The preparations are new and
+extraordinary; for the marriage is to be celebrated in a meadow
+adjoining to the village of the bride who, by way of excellency, is
+called Quiteria the Beautiful, and the bridegroom is known by the
+appellation of Camacho the Rich; she is but eighteen, and he turned of
+twenty, to that they are extremely well matched; though some curious
+persons, who remember all the pedigrees in the world, are pleased to
+say, that her family has in that respect the advantage of Camacho’s: but
+now-a-days these circumstances are altogether overlooked; for wealth is
+able to repair a number of flaws. In a word, Camacho is liberal, and has
+taken it in his head to overshadow and cover the whole meadow in such a
+manner, that the sun will find some difficulty in penetrating, so as to
+visit the verdant plants with which the ground is adorned. He has
+likewise bespoke choice dancers, both with swords and morrice-bells; for
+there are people in the village who can jingle and snap to perfection;
+not to mention your shoe-slappers, a power of whom are summoned to the
+nuptials: but none of those things I have mentioned, or of a great many
+circumstances I have left untold, are likely to render the marriage so
+memorable as the behaviour which is on this occasion expected from the
+rejected Basilius.
+
+‘This Basilius is a neighbouring swain, and townsman of Quiteria, and
+there is nothing but a partition wall between his house and that of her
+parents, whence Cupid took occasion to renew the long forgotten loves of
+Pyramus and Thisbe, for Basilius became enamoured of Quiteria, even from
+his tender years, and she smiled upon his passion with all manner of
+honourable indulgence; insomuch that the love of the two children,
+Basilius and Quiteria, furnished entertainment and discourse for the
+whole village. As their age increased, Quiteria’s father resolved to
+forbid Basilius the usual access he had to his house; and, to free
+himself from all sorts of jealousy and suspicion, proposed a match
+between his daughter and the rich Camacho, thinking it would not be so
+well to give her away to Basilius, to whom fortune had not been so kind
+as nature; though, to tell the truth, without envy or affection, he is
+the most active young man we know, an expert pitcher of the bar, an
+excellent wrestler, and great judge of hand-ball: he runs like a deer,
+leaps nimbler than a goat, plays at nine-pins as if he used inchantment,
+sings like a sky lark, touches the guittar so as to make it perfectly
+speak, and handles a foil like the best fencer in the world.’—‘For that
+sole accomplishment,’ cried Don Quixote, ‘the young man deserves not
+only to be married to the beautiful Quiteria, but even to Queen Ginebra
+herself, were she now alive, in spite of Sir Lancelot, and all those who
+should endeavour to oppose the match.’—‘Let my wife alone for that,’
+said Sancho Panza, who had hitherto travelled in silent attention; ‘she,
+good woman, would have every body match with his equal, sticking to the
+old proverb, that says, Let every goose a gander chuse. What I would
+willingly see is the marriage of this worthy Basilius; for he has
+already got my good-will, with that same lady Quiteria; and God grant
+them peace and plenty, and rest their souls in heaven—[his meaning was
+quite the reverse]—who prevent lovers from marrying according to their
+inclinations.’—‘If that was always the case,’ replied Don Quixote,
+‘parents would be deprived of that election and jurisdiction they
+possess, to marry their children when and how they shall think proper;
+and if every daughter was at liberty to indulge her own inclination in
+the choice of an husband, one would perhaps chuse her father’s servant,
+and another place her affection upon some gaudy coxcomb, whom she might
+chance to see passing along the street, even though he should be a
+disorderly ruffian: for love and affection easily blind the eyes of the
+understanding, which are so necessary towards the settlement of one’s
+condition in life; and as we are apt to commit very important mistakes
+in the article of matrimony, it requires great caution, as well as the
+particular favour of Heaven, to succeed in the choice of a wife. A
+prudent man, who is resolved to undertake a long journey, will, before
+he sets out, endeavour to find a safe, quiet, and agreeable
+fellow-traveller. Then why should not the same pains be taken by the man
+who is going to travel through the whole journey of life? especially in
+the choice of a companion for bed, board, and every other purpose for
+which the wife is subservient to the husband; a man’s own wedded wife is
+not like a commodity which being once bought may be bartered, exchanged,
+or returned, but is an inseparable appendage that lasts for life.
+
+‘Marriage is a noose, into which if the neck should happen to slip, it
+becomes inexplicable as the Gordian knot, and cannot be undone till cut
+asunder by the scythe of death. Much more could I add upon this subject,
+if I were not prevented by the desire I have to know whether Mr.
+Licentiate has any thing farther to entertain us with, relative to the
+history of Basilius.’ To this hint the other (call him scholar,
+batchelor, or licentiate) replied, ‘I have not any thing material to
+add, but that from the time he understood Quiteria was to be married to
+Camacho the Rich, he was never seen to smile, or heard to speak
+consistently: he is thoughtful and melancholy, talks to himself; all
+which are undoubtedly symptoms of a disordered mind. He scarce either
+eats or sleeps; and what little he does eat is fruit; when he sleeps at
+all it is upon the bare ground, and in the open air, like the beasts of
+the field. He every now and then looks up to heaven; at other times,
+like one stupid, fixes his eyes on the ground, and seems as if he was a
+cloathed statue, with the drapery flowing to the gales of the wind: in a
+word, he gives such indications of a fatal passion, that we believe for
+certain, when Quiteria to-morrow pronounces the Word “Yes,” she will in
+that seal the sentence of his death.’
+
+‘God will order things better,’ said Sancho, ‘for he inflicts the wound,
+and will also perform the cure. No one knows what may happen; there are
+a great many hours between this and to-morrow, and in one hour, even in
+a moment, down comes the house; I have myself seen sun-shine and rain at
+the same time; a man goes to bed well at night, but cannot bestir
+himself next morning. Let me know, the best of ye, if any man can brag
+of having put a spoke in fortune’s wheel? No one, to be sure; and
+between the Yes and No of a woman, I would not venture to thrust the
+point of a pin, and that for a weighty reason, because there would-not
+be room for it; if you will only allow me one thing, that Quiteria loves
+Basilius, I’ll yet engage to give him a wallet-full of good-luck; for I
+have been told, that love wears a pair of spectacles, which spectacles
+make copper look like gold, and poverty appear to be riches, and specks
+in the eyes to seem pearls.’—‘A curse on thee!’ cried Don Quixote, ‘what
+is it thou wouldst be at! once thou art set in to stringing thy
+proverbs, none but Judas, with whom wish thou wert, can have patience to
+hear thee out! Say, animal, what knowest thou about spokes or wheels, or
+any other thing whatsoever?’—‘O! since you do not understand me,’
+answered the squire, ‘no wonder you think it nonsense what I say; but
+that signifies nothing: I understand myself, nor have I said many
+nonsensical things yet, only your worship always plays the cricket upon
+my words and actions.’—‘God confound thee, thou confounder of all
+language!’ said Don Quixote. ‘Cricket! I suppose thou meanest
+critick.’—‘As to that matter, Sir,’ said Sancho, ‘be not too severe upon
+me; you know I was neither bred at court, nor studied at Salamanca, to
+know when I am right in the letter of a word; and as I hope for mercy
+from God, I think it unreasonable to expect that, the Sayagues[154]
+should speak in the same manner as the Toledans; though, for that
+matter, there are Toledans who are not more nice than other folks at the
+work of speaking properly.’—‘Very true,’ said the licentiate, ‘for how
+should a man, whose business is in the tan yards, and in the
+Zocodover[155], speak so good language as they who do nothing but walk
+from morning to night in the cloysters of the cathedral? and yet they
+are all Toledans; on the other hand, purity, propriety, elegance, and
+perspicuity, are to be found among polite people of sense; though they
+be natives of Majalahonda; I say people of sense, because so great a
+number of people are not so, and sense is the foundation of good
+language, assisted by custom and use. I must tell you, gentlemen, it has
+pleased God, for my sins, that I have studied the canon-law at
+Salamanca, and I pique myself a little on being able to converse in
+clear, easy, and expressive language.’—‘If you had not piqued yourself
+more upon your dexterity at these good-for-nothing foils you carry about
+with you, than upon your knowledge in languages, instead of lagging the
+hindmost, you might have been at the head of your class,’ said the other
+student. ‘I tell you, Mr. Batchelor, that you are the most prejudiced
+man in the world, in that respect, for treating dexterity at the sword
+as a matter of no signification.’—‘It is no prejudice with me, it is a
+confirmed opinion and truth,’ replied Corchuelo; ‘and if you please to
+make the experiment, I will convince you. You carry foils now along with
+you, and an opportunity offers; I’ll shew you that I have nerves and
+strength, backed with such courage as will prove sufficient to
+demonstrate to you that my opinion is not the effect of prejudice; get
+off your ass, and try your measured distances, your wheelings, your
+longes, and art of defence; and I’ll engage, with only the plain rustick
+skill I have, to make you see the stars at noon-day; for I trust under
+God, the man is yet unborn who can make me turn my back; nor have I met
+with any man whom I will not oblige to give ground.’—‘As to turning your
+back, or not turning your back, that is none of my business,’ replied
+the master of the science; ‘though it is not impossible but that the
+first spot you fix your foot on may prove your burying-ground: I mean,
+it is possible you may be left dead there, for slighting the noble
+science of defence.’—‘That we shall see presently,’ replied Corchuelo,
+jumping hastily upon the ground, and snatching with great fury one of
+the foils, which the other carried upon his ass.
+
+Here Don Quixote cried out, ‘Not so, by heavens! I will be umpire of
+this fencing-match, and judge of this long-controverted dispute.’ So
+saying, he alighted from Rozinante, and grasping his lance, planted
+himself in the very middle of the road, just as master licentiate, in a
+masterly posture and regular advances, was making towards Corchuelo, who
+ran at him with fire, as the saying is, flashing from his eyes; while
+the two country fellows, without dismounting, sat still as spectators of
+this most deadly tragedy. Corchuelo assailed him every way with high
+strokes, low strokes, back-strokes, cuts, thrusts, flashes out of
+number, and as thick as hail; in short, he fell upon the licentiate like
+an enraged lion, but was checked a little in the career of his fury by a
+smart push in the mouth from the licentiate’s foil, who made him kiss
+the button, though with less devotion than if it had been a relick. In a
+word, the licentiate, by skilful and well-planted thrusts, counted the
+buttons of his cassock, and went through it so often, that it hung in
+rags like the tails of the polypus: twice was Corchuelo’s hat struck
+off; and so spent was he, that in rage and spite, and furious choler, he
+flung the foil into the air with so much force, that one of the
+countrymen, who went to fetch it, being a kind of scrivener, declared
+upon oath, that it went near three quarters of a league; which affidavit
+being preserved, has been, and is, a testimony to demonstrate that art
+prevails over strength.
+
+Corchuelo, quite tired out, sat down; and Sancho going up to him, ‘Mr.
+Batchelor,’ said he, ‘if you will be ruled by me, from henceforth
+challenge no one to fence, but dare them to wrestle and pitch the bar,
+since now you are of a proper age and strength for that exercise; for I
+have heard say of these fencers, that they can thrust you the point of a
+sword through the eye of a needle.’—‘I am now convinced,’ answered
+Corchuelo, ‘and am taught by experience a truth I could not otherwise
+have believed.’
+
+So getting up, he went and embraced his adversary, and they were now
+better friends than ever. The company not being willing to wait for the
+scrivener, who was gone after the foil, imagining he might be too long
+absent, resolved to put forward as fast as they could, that they might
+arrive early at Quiteria’s village, whither they were all going. As they
+travelled on their way, the licentiate demonstrated to them the
+excellencies of the noble science of defence, by such convincing
+arguments, drawn from the nature of truth and mathematical certainty,
+that every one was convinced of the usefulness of the science; and
+Corchuelo particularly was made a convert, and entirely cured of his
+obstinacy.
+
+The night was just fallen, and before they came to the village, it
+seemed as if something like a heaven full of an infinite number of
+bright stars was between them and it; they likewise heard an harmonious
+but mixed sound of flutes, tambourines, psalters, cymbals, drums, and
+bells. As they came nearer, they perceived the boughs of an arbour,
+which was made on one side of the entrance into the village; and this
+all flaming with lights, which were not in the least disturbed by the
+wind; for the evening was so calm, that there was not a breath of air,
+so much as to move a leaf upon a tree. But the life and spirit of the
+wedding consisted in the musicians, who in bands ranged up and down that
+delightful place, some singing, some dancing, and others playing upon
+the different instruments. In a word, it looked as if joy and delight
+were sporting and playing through this meadow: a great many were
+employed in raising scaffolds, that they might view from them more
+commodiously the plays and dances which were to be in that place, to
+solemnize the nuptials of Camacho the Rich, and the obsequies of
+Basilius. Don Quixote refused to enter the village, though both the
+batchelor and the countryman invited him: but he pleaded what he thought
+a sufficient excuse, the custom of knights-errant to sleep in fields and
+forests, rather than in towns, though under gilded roofs; and therefore
+he turned a little aside, grievously against the will of Sancho, who had
+not yet forgotten the good lodgings he had enjoyed in the house of Don
+Diego.
+
+Footnote 154:
+
+ Poor people that live about Zamora.
+
+Footnote 155:
+
+ Zocodover, a square in Toledo, like Smithfield, where cattle are sold.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. III.
+ AN ACCOUNT OF THE WEDDING OF CAMACHO THE RICH, AND WHAT HAPPENED TO
+ BASILIUS THE POOR.
+
+
+The fair Aurora had hardly allowed Phœbus time to dry up the liquid
+pearls that hung upon his golden locks, when Don Quixote shaking from
+his limbs the drowsy fetters of sloth, got upon his legs, and called to
+Sancho Panza, who lay stretched along, and snoring; which situation his
+master seeing, before he awaked him, broke out into this soliloquy:
+‘Happy thou, and blessed beyond the fate of other mortals, who, neither
+envying nor envied, sleepest sound, with unconcern of soul! Inchanters
+neither persecute, nor inchantments terrify thee: sleep on, I say again,
+and a hundred times more I say, sleep on; no jealousies on account of a
+mistress torture thee with perpetual watchings, no anxious cares of
+paying debts awake thee, no solicitude how thou must to-morrow provide
+for thyself and little ones breaks in upon thy slumbers. Ambitious views
+create thee no disquiet, nor the vain pomp of this empty world occasions
+thee any disturbance; thy concern is centered within the bounds of
+taking care of thy ass; for, as to taking care of thy person, that is
+laid upon my shoulders, a charge and burden that both nature and custom
+have laid upon masters; the servant sleeps, while the master is awake,
+and thinking how he shall maintain him, advance him in life, or do him
+some service. The uneasiness that arises from seeing the heavens as it
+were hard as brass, locked up, and refusing rain to cherish the earth,
+brings no anxiety upon the servant, but upon the master; who, in the
+days of dearth and famine, is bound to provide for him who served him in
+the time of abundant and plentiful harvest.’
+
+To all this effusion Sancho answered not one word, for he was fast
+asleep, nor would have waked when he did, but that his master jogged him
+with the butt-end of his lance. He waked yawning and drowsy; and turning
+his face every way, ‘Umph!’ said he, ‘from yonder shady bower, if my
+nostrils deceive me not, proceeds rather the steam and savour of broiled
+rashers of bacon, than the fragrance of thyme and jessamine. O’ my
+conscience! weddings that begin in this savoury manner, must needs, in
+truth, be magnificent and abundant.’—‘Thou epicure,’ said Don Quixote,
+‘have done, and let us go see this wedding, and what will be the fate of
+the slighted Basilius.’—‘Let his fate be as it pleases,’ quoth Sancho;
+‘what, he poor and marry Quiteria! A pretty fancy truly, for one not
+worth a groat to think of matching so high; ’tis my opinion, a man who
+is poor ought to bless God for what he finds, and not be diving to find
+truffles at the bottom of the sea. I’ll lay a limb that Camacho can
+cover this same Basilius from head to foot with sixpenny pieces; and if
+this be so, as it certainly is, Quiteria would be a pretty lady of a
+bride, indeed, to refuse all the fine cloaths and fine things that, I
+warrant you, Camacho has given her already, and can give her still more;
+and to prefer, instead of them, a pitch at the bar truly, and a pass at
+the foils, which, it seems, make up Basilius’s riches. Go into a tavern
+for a pint of wine, and see if they will take a pitch of the bar, or a
+clever push of the foils, in lieu of the reckoning; as for your
+abilities, and your refinements, and graces, that will bring in none of
+the ready; Count Dirlos may have them for me: but when they happen to
+take their resting-place on a man who has wherewithal, O then, I wish no
+better than that my life may shew off as well as they do. Upon a good
+foundation a good house may be raised, and the very best bottom and best
+foundation of any is wealth.’—‘Oh!’ cried Don Quixote, ‘have done; have
+done with this harangue: I do from my soul believe, if one would but
+suffer thee to go on, thou wouldst lose both thy eating and sleeping in
+talking.’—‘Was your worship possessed of a good memory,’ replied Sancho,
+‘you would remember certain articles stipulated between us, before we
+sallied forth upon this expedition; one of which was, that I was to talk
+as much as I pleased, provided it was not scandal against my neighbour,
+or derogating from your worship’s authority; and I imagine that nothing
+I have hitherto said is a breach of this agreement.’—‘I remember no such
+agreement,’ said Don Quixote; ‘but, allowing it to be so, it is my
+pleasure you should give over, and come attend me; for now the
+instruments we heard last evening send their chearing sounds through the
+vallies; and beyond all doubt the nuptials will not be put off to the
+sultry heat of the noon-day, but be solemnized in the fresh cool of the
+morning.’
+
+Sancho did as he was commanded, and putting on Rozinante’s saddle and
+Dapple’s pannel, they both mounted, and gently walked their beasts into
+the artificial shade. The first object that presented itself to the eyes
+of Sancho, was an entire bullock spitted whole, upon an elm, roasting by
+a fire of wood of the size of a middling mountain, and round it six
+pots, but not such pots as are cast in common moulds, for they were half
+jars, and each of them contained a whole shamble of meat; whole sheep
+found room in them, and were stowed as commodiously as if they had been
+so many pigeons. There was an innumerable quantity of cased hares; and
+ready-plucked fowls that hung about the branches of the trees, ready to
+be swallowed up in these receivers; and an infinite number of wild-fowl,
+with vast quantities of venison, were likewise hanging about the trees,
+for the air to cool them. Sancho himself told above threescore skins,
+which, as it was afterwards discovered, were full of rich wines, every
+skin containing above twenty-four quarts. Loaves of the whitest bread
+were piled up like heaps of wheat on a threshing-floor; and such a
+quantity of cheese ranged in the form of bricks, as seemed a wall; two
+cauldrons of oil, larger than a dyer’s vat, were ready for frying their
+fritters and pancakes; and when fried, they took them out with strong
+peels, and dipped them in another pot that stood by full of prepared
+honey. The cooks, men and women, amounted to above fifty, clean,
+good-humoured, and all busy; in the belly of the roasting bullock were
+sewed a dozen sucking pigs, to make it tender and savoury. Spices of all
+sorts, which seemed to have been bought by wholesale and not by retail,
+stood in a vast chest. In short, the preparations for the wedding were
+indeed in a rustick taste, but in such plenty and profusion as might
+have feasted an army.
+
+Sancho looked at every thing, attentively considered each particular,
+and was in raptures with the whole. But his whole heart and affections
+were chiefly captivated by the flesh pots; out of them he would have
+been glad, with all his heart, to have filled about a moderate barrel.
+Then the wine-skins made his bowels yearn; and after these the contents
+of the frying-pans, if vessels of such immoderate size may be so called.
+He could hold out no longer; it was not in the power of his nature to
+contain himself; therefore up he went to one of the cooks, who was busy,
+and addressing himself to him with a humble and hungry air, begged that
+he might be permitted to sop a luncheon of bread in one of the pots. To
+which request the cook replied, ‘Hunger does not preside over this day,
+thanks be to Camacho the Rich; e’en alight, and see if thou canst find
+any where a ladle, and skim out a fowl or two, and much good may it do
+thy good heart.’—‘I see no ladle,’ laid Sancho. ‘God forgive me all my
+sins!’ cried the cook, ‘what a poor helpless thing thou art! stay.’ So
+saying, he laid hold of a kettle, and dipping it at once into one of the
+half-jar pots, brought up three pullets, and a couple of geese. ‘Here,’
+said he, ‘eat; make a breakfast of this scum, and see if you can stay
+your stomach with it till dinner-time.’—‘I have nothing to put it in,’
+said Sancho. ‘Then take ladle and all,’ replied the cook; ‘for Camacho’s
+riches and good fortune are sufficient to supply every thing.’
+
+While Sancho Panza passed his time in this manner, Don Quixote was
+attentive in observing about a dozen of countrymen, who entered in at
+one side of this spacious arbour, mounted upon beautiful mares, each of
+them accoutred with rich and gay caparisons, and hung round with little
+bells. They were clad in holiday apparel, and coursed round the meadow
+in a body, and, in regular careers, several times, with a joyous Moorish
+shout, flourishing, and crying out, ‘Long live Camacho and Quiteria, he
+as rich as she is fair, and she the fairest of the universe.’ Which
+exclamation, Don Quixote hearing, said within himself, ‘It is evident
+they never have beheld the beauty of my Dulcinea del Toboso; had they
+ever been blessed with a sight of her transcendant charms, they would be
+more sparing in their praises of this their Quiteria.’
+
+Some time after there entered, at different parts of the arbour,
+different sets of dancers; one of whom consisted of twenty-four sword
+dancers, all of them clean, well-made, jolly swains, clad in fine white
+linen, and white handkerchiefs embroidered with silk of various colours.
+One of those who were mounted upon the mares asked a youth, who led the
+band of the sword-dancers, whether any of his companions had received
+any hurt? ‘As yet,’ replied the other, ‘we are all safe and sound,
+thanks be to God, no one is wounded!’ and immediately upon that mixed
+among his companions with so many twistings and windings, and with such
+dexterity, that though Don Quixote had been used to behold such dances,
+he never saw any he approved so much. Another dance likewise pleased him
+prodigiously; that was another chorus of twelve most beautiful damsels,
+of such an age, that none appeared under fourteen, nor did any seem to
+be quite eighteen; they were all clad in green stuff of Cuenca, their
+locks were, some plaited, some flowing loose, and all so fine and
+flaxen, as to rival those of Phœbus himself, and crowned with garlands
+of roses, of jessamine, and of woodbine. This beautiful bevy was led up
+to the dance by a venerable old man and an ancient matron, both more
+airy and agile than could be expected from their years. A bagpipe of
+Zamora was their musick, and with modesty in their looks and
+countenances, and lightness of foot, they danced and tripped it away the
+prettiest in the world. After these, entered an emblematick dance of
+eight nymphs divided into two bodies: the God of Love led one, and
+Interest the other; Cupid with his wings, his bow, his quiver, and
+arrows; Interest clad in gold, and silk of rich and various colours. The
+nymphs, attendants on Cupid, had their names displayed in white
+parchment, and capital letters on their backs: the first was named
+Poetry, the second Discretion, the third Pedigree, the fourth Bravery.
+The attendants on Interest were likewise characterised: the first was
+Liberality, the second Bounty, the third Treasure, the fourth Quiet
+possession. The whole masque was preceded by a wooden castle, drawn by
+savages, clad in ivy and hemp dyed green, and so savage they looked,
+that they had almost frightened Sancho. On the front and on each of the
+four sides of this machine were inscribed these words, ‘The Castle of
+Discretion.’ Four able musicians played on the tabor and the pipe.
+Cupid, who began the dance, after he had made two movements, lifted up
+his eyes, and bent his bow against a damsel that stood upon the
+battlements of the castle, to whom he pronounced this address—
+
+ ‘I am the God whose pow’r extends
+ Thro’ the wide ocean, earth, and sky;
+ To my soft sway all nature bends,
+ Compell’d by beauty to comply.
+ Fearless, I rule, in calm and storm,
+ Indulge my pleasure to the full,
+ Things deem’d impossible perform,
+ Bestow, resume, ordain, annul.’
+
+Having repeated these stanzas, he shot an arrow to the top of the
+castle, and retired to his station. Then Interest advanced, and
+performed other two movements; after which the tabors were silent, and
+the power rehearsed these lines—
+
+ ‘My pow’r exceeds the might of Love;
+ For Cupid bows to me alone,
+ Of all things fram’d by Heav’n above,
+ The most respected, sought, and known.
+ My name is Interest, mine aid
+ But few obtain, though all desire;
+ Yet shall thy virtue, beauteous maid,
+ My constant services acquire.’
+
+Interest retiring, was succeeded by Poetry; who, after having performed
+his motions like the rest, fixed his eyes upon the lady of the castle,
+and said—
+
+ ‘Let Poetry, whose strain divine
+ The wond’rous pow’r of song displays,
+ His heart to thee, fair nymph, consign,
+ Transported, in melodious lays;
+ If haply, thou wilt not refuse
+ To grant my supplicated boon,
+ Thy fame shall, wafted by the muse,
+ Surmount the circle of the moon.’
+
+Poetry disappearing, Liberality advanced from the side of Interest, and,
+after several movements, repeated these lines—
+
+ ‘My name is Liberality,
+ Alike beneficent and wise,
+ To shun wild prodigality,
+ And sordid avarice despise:
+ Yet, for thy favour lavish grown,
+ A prodigal I mean to prove;
+ An honourable vice, I own,
+ But giving is the test of love.’
+
+In this manner, all the figures of the two squadrons advanced and
+retired, every one performing his movements, and repeating his verses,
+some of which were elegant, and others foolish enough; but those we have
+inserted were all that Don Quixote could retain, although his memory was
+very tenacious: then mixing all together in the dance, they winded and
+turned with great ease, grace, and agility. Cupid, in passing, shot
+arrows at the castle, while Interest battered it with round gilded
+earthen pots: at length, after the dance had continued a good while,
+this last pulled out a large purse made of Roman cat skin, to all
+appearance full of money, and throwing it at the castle, the boards
+seemed to be disjointed by the blow, and immediately fell asunder,
+leaving the damsel quite discovered and defenceless; then Interest, with
+the figures of his train, advancing, and throwing a great gold chain
+about her neck, seemed bent upon taking and dragging her into captivity.
+This design being perceived by Cupid and his partisans, they made an
+effort to release her, and all their motions were performed by the sound
+of the tabors, to which they danced and capered in concert. Then the
+savages interposing, and effecting an accommodation, refitted and
+rejoined the boards of the castle with admirable dispatch, the damsel
+enclosed herself anew; and thus the dance was finished, to the infinite
+satisfaction of the spectators.
+
+Don Quixote asked one of the nymphs, what author had contrived and
+composed this entertainment; and being told it was the production of the
+parson, who had a rare noddle for such conceits, ‘I’ll lay a wager,’
+said he, ‘that this same batchelor or curate is more a friend of Camacho
+than of Basilius; and that he is better acquainted with satire than
+prayer; for he has very artfully interwoven in this mask the talents of
+Basilius, and the wealth of his rival.’ Sancho Panza overhearing this
+observation, ‘My cock is the king,’ said he; ‘and I hold fast by
+Camacho.’—‘Then am I convinced,’ replied the knight, ‘that Sancho is one
+of those low-born peasants, who cry, “Long life to the conqueror.”’—‘I
+know not,’ resumed the squire, ‘what sect I am of; but this I know
+perfectly well, that I shall never skim from the flesh pots of Basilius,
+such a delicate scum as this that I have taken from the boilers of
+Camacho.’ With these words, he produced the kettle full of geese and
+pullets, and seizing a bird, began to eat with great glee and
+satisfaction; saying, in defiance of the talents possessed by Basilius,
+‘Thou art worth just as much as thou hast, and hast just as much as thou
+art worth. There are only two families in the world, as my grannum was
+wont to observe, the Have-somethings and the Have-nothings: though she
+always stuck to the former; and now-a-days, my good master, we are more
+apt to feel the pulse of property than of wisdom. An ass with golden
+trappings, makes a better appearance than a horse with a pack saddle.
+Therefore, I say again, I hold fast by Camacho, the plentiful scum of
+whose pots contains geese, hares, and conies; while that of Basilius, if
+it comes to hand, or even if it should only come to the feet, is no
+better than dish-washings.’
+
+‘Sancho,’ cried Don Quixote, ‘hast thou finished thy harangue?’—‘It
+shall be finished,’ replied the squire, ‘as I see your worship is
+displeased with it; though, if your disgust had not fallen in the way, I
+had cut out work enough for three days.’—‘Grant Heaven,’ said the
+knight, ‘that I may see thee dumb before I die!’—‘At the rate we
+follow,’ answered Panza, ‘before your worship dies, my mouth will be
+crammed with clay, and then I may chance to be so dumb, that I shall not
+speak another word to the end of the world, or at least till the day of
+judgment.’—‘Even should that be the case,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘I say
+unto thee, O Sancho! thy silence will never counterbalance what thou
+didst, dost, and wilt say, during the course of thy life; moreover,
+according to the nature of things, the day of my death will happen
+before thine; so that I have no hope of ever seeing thee silent, even
+while thou art drinking or sleeping, and that is the greatest favour I
+could expect.’
+
+‘In good sooth, Signior,’ said the squire, ‘there is no trusting to Mrs.
+Ghostly, (I mean, death) who gobbles up the goslin as well as the
+goose[156]; and as I have heard our curate observe, tramples down the
+lofty turrets of the prince, as well as the lowly cottage of the swain.
+That same lady who is more powerful than coy, knows not what it is to be
+dainty and squeamish; but eats of every thing, and crams her wallet with
+people of all nations, degrees, and conditions; she is none of your
+labourers that take this afternoon’s nap, but mows at all hours, cutting
+down the dry stubble as well as the green grass; nor does she seem to
+chew, but rather swallows and devours every thing that falls in her way;
+for she is gnawed by a dog’s hunger that is never satisfied; and though
+she has no belly, plainly shews herself dropsical, and so thirsty as to
+drink up the lives of all the people upon earth, just as one would
+swallow a draught of cool water.’—‘Enough, friend Sancho,’ cried the
+knight, interrupting him in this place; ‘keep thyself well, now thou art
+in order, and beware of stumbling again; for, really, a good preacher
+could not speak more to the purpose than thou hast spoken upon death, in
+thy rustick manner of expression; I say unto thee, Sancho, if thy
+discretion was equal to thy natural parts, thou mightest ascend the
+pulpit, and go about teaching and preaching to admiration.’—‘He is a
+good preacher who is a good liver,’ answered Panza; ‘and that is all the
+divinity I know.’—‘And that is sufficient,’ said the knight; ‘yet I
+shall never understand or comprehend, as the fear of God is the
+beginning of wisdom, how thou, who art more afraid of a lizard than of
+thy Maker, should be so wise?’—‘Signior,’ replied Sancho, ‘I desire your
+worship would determine in your own affairs of chivalry, without taking
+the trouble to judge of other people’s valour or fears; for my own part,
+I am as pretty a fearer of God as one would desire to see in any
+neighbour’s child; wherefore, I beseech your worship, let me discuss
+this same scum; for every thing else is idle chat, of which we shall be
+able to give a bad account in the other world.’ So saying, he renewed
+his attack upon his kettle, with such keen appetite as awakened that of
+his master, who would certainly have joined in the assault, had not he
+been prevented by that which we must now relate.
+
+Footnote 156:
+
+ In the original there is a play upon the words Descarnado, Cordero,
+ and Carnero, which I have endeavoured to imitate, by substituting
+ goose in the room of mutton, which is the literal meaning of the text.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IV.
+ WHICH CONTINUES TO TREAT OF CAMACHO’S WEDDING, AND OTHER INCIDENTS.
+
+
+While Don Quixote and Sancho were engaged in the conversation related in
+the preceding chapter, they heard a great noise and shouting, raised by
+a company mounted on mares, galloping in full cry, to meet the young
+couple; who came surrounded by a thousand kinds of instruments, and
+accompanied by the curate, the relations, and all the creditable people
+of the neighbouring villages, in their holiday cloaths. Sancho, seeing
+the bride, exclaimed with marks of admiration, ‘I ’faith! she looks more
+like one of your gay court-dames, than a plain country-maid. Now, by the
+biggest beads of my rosary! instead of a tin brooch[157], her breast is
+bedizened with rich coral, and her hoyden-grey is turned into
+thirty-piled velvet; and, body o’me! the trimming is not of white linen,
+but of silk and sattin: then handle me her hands, set off with what?
+jewels of jet? No! let me never thrive, if they an’t decked with rings
+of gold! aye, and of massy gold, paved with pearls as white as a curd,
+every one of which is worth a Jew’s eye. O the whoreson baggage! and
+such hair! if it is not false, I never saw any so long, and so fair in
+my born-days. Do but mind how buxom, straight, and tall she is, and see
+whether she may not be compared to a moving palm-tree, loaded with
+clusters of dates; for nothing can be more like the gewgaws and toys
+that hang from her hair and neck. By my salvation! the damsel is well
+covered, and might pass through all the banks of Flanders.’ Don Quixote,
+though he smiled at the rustick praises of his squire, owned that,
+exclusive of his mistress Dulcinea del Toboso, she was the most
+beautiful female he had ever seen.
+
+Nevertheless, the fair Quiteria was paler than usual; and this change of
+complexion must have been owing to the bad night which brides always
+pass in adorning themselves for the approaching day of their nuptials.
+The company repaired to a theatre erected at one side of the meadow, and
+ornamented with carpets and boughs, where the ceremony was to be
+performed, and from whence they were to see the masques and other
+diversions; and they had just arrived at the place when their ears were
+saluted with a noise behind them, and a voice that pronounced, ‘Stay a
+little, hasty and inconsiderate people.’—In consequence of this address,
+they turned about, and perceived it was uttered by a man cloathed in a
+loose black coat, interspersed with crimson flames, crowned, as they
+soon perceived, with a chaplet of funeral cypress, and holding in his
+hand a truncheon of uncommon size. As he approached, he was known to be
+the gallant Basilius; at sight of whom they were surprized, and waited
+in suspence to see the issue of his exclamation, dreading some mischance
+from such an unseasonable visit. At length, wearied and breathless, he
+came up to the bride and bridegroom, and thrusting in the ground his
+staff that was pointed with steel, he fixed his eyes upon Quiteria, and
+with a pale aspect and hoarse quavering voice, pronounced these words:
+‘Thou well knowest, ungrateful Quiteria, that, according to the holy
+faith we profess, thou canst not espouse another husband while I am
+alive; nor art thou ignorant, that while I waited until time and
+diligence should meliorate my fortune, I never sought to deviate from
+that decorum which thy honour required I should preserve; yet thou,
+disburdening thyself of all the obligations which thou owest to my
+honest passion, hast made another person master of what is justly mine;
+a man whose wealth is not only subservient to his good fortune, but even
+renders him superlatively happy; which happiness, that he may enjoy to
+the full (not that I think he deserves it, but because it is the will of
+Heaven to bestow it) I will, with my own hands, remove the impossibility
+or inconvenience that may obstruct it, by taking myself out of the way.
+Long live, long live Camacho the Rich, with Quiteria the Ungrateful, to
+enjoy many quiet and happy years; and death be the portion of the poor
+Basilius, whose poverty clipped the wings of his fortune, and laid him
+in an untimely grave.’
+
+So saying, he laid hold of the staff which he had stuck in the earth,
+and drew from it a middling tuck, which was concealed in it as in a
+scabbard; then fixing that which may be called the hilt on the ground,
+he threw himself, with great activity and resolution, upon the point,
+which in an instant came out bloody at his shoulder, leaving the unhappy
+youth weltering in gore, and stretched upon the ground, transfixed with
+his own weapon. His friends immediately ran to his assistance, pierced
+with affliction at his misery and lamentable fate; and Don Quixote,
+dismounting, flew to his relief, held him in his arms, and found that he
+had not as yet expired. They were inclined to withdraw the tuck; but the
+curate, who was present, gave his opinion that it should not be
+withdrawn before he had confessed himself, because his death would be
+the immediate consequence of pulling out the weapon. Meanwhile, Basilius
+recovering a little, said, in a faint and piteous tone, ‘Ah, cruel
+Quiteria! wouldst thou, in this last and fatal agony, bestow upon me thy
+hand in marriage, I should deem my rashness exculpated, seeing by that I
+should acquire the happiness of calling thee my own.’ The curate,
+hearing this address, exhorted him to employ his attention upon the
+health of his soul, rather than upon such carnal pleasures, and
+earnestly pray to God to pardon his sins, and in particular this last
+desperate determination. To this remonstrance Basilius replied, that he
+would by no means confess, until Quiteria should first grant him her
+hand, a favour which would set his heart at rest, and give him spirits
+to undergo his confession.
+
+Don Quixote hearing the petition of the wounded man, declared, in an
+audible voice, that Basilius requested nothing but what was just and
+reasonable, and besides very practicable; and that Signior Camacho’s
+honour would suffer no more, in wedding Signora Quiteria as the widow of
+Basilius, than in receiving her from her father’s own hands; for here
+nothing was required but the monosyllable of assent, which could have no
+other effect than the trouble of pronouncing it, as the bridal bed must
+also be the tomb of such a marriage. Camacho heard the whole, which kept
+him in such confusion and suspence, that he knew not what to say or do:
+but the friends of Basilius were so clamorous in soliciting him to
+consent to Quiteria’s giving her hand in marriage to the hapless youth,
+whose soul would otherwise perish in despair, that he was persuaded, and
+as it were compelled to say, that if his bride would grant that favour,
+he should be satisfied, as it would only for a moment delay the
+accomplishment of his desires. Immediately they surrounded Quiteria,
+whom with tears, intreaties, and other pathetic remonstrances, they
+pressed to give her hand to poor Basilius; but she, more obdurate than
+marble, and more inflexible than a statue, neither could, would, or
+desired to answer one word; nor would she have made the least reply, had
+not the curate desired her to come to a speedy determination, for the
+soul of Basilius being already between his teeth, would not afford long
+time for hesitation.
+
+Then the beautiful Quiteria, without speaking one syllable, but
+seemingly disordered, sad, and sorrowful, advanced to the place where
+Basilius lay, with his eyes already fixed, breathing short and thick,
+murmuring the name of Quiteria, and, to all appearance, dying rather
+like an heathen than a Christian. The bride at length approaching, and
+kneeling before him, desired by signs he would hold out his hand: then
+Basilius unfixing his eyes, and stedfastly gazing upon her, ‘O
+Quiteria!’ said he, ‘thou art become kind at a time when thy kindness
+must serve as a sword to finish my unfortunate life; seeing I have not
+strength enough left to obtain that glory which thou wouldst confer in
+calling me thine; or to suspend the grief that comes so fast to cover
+mine eyes with the dismal shades of death. What I request, O fatal star
+of my destiny! is, that thy consent to this exchange of vows may not be
+a mere compliment to deceive me anew; but that thou wilt confess and
+declare there is no restraint upon thy inclination, while thy hand is
+given and delivered to me as thy lawful husband, for it would be cruel
+to use deceit and dissimulation with one in such extremity, who has
+always behaved to thee with such sincerity and truth.’ Having pronounced
+these words, he fainted away, so that all the bye-standers thought his
+soul would forsake his body in that swoon: but when he retrieved the use
+of his faculties, Quiteria, all-blushing with modesty, took hold of his
+right hand, saying, ‘No force upon earth would be sufficient to biass my
+will; and therefore, with all the freedom of inclination, I give thee my
+hand as thy lawful wife, and receive thine on the same terms, if thou
+bestowest it with the same good will, undisturbed and unconfounded by
+the calamity into which thou hast been hurried by thy own precipitate
+conduct.’—‘I do,’ answered Basilius, ‘without either disorder or
+confusion; but, on the contrary, with all the clearness of understanding
+with which Heaven hath thought proper to endow me, I give and deliver
+myself for thy true and faithful husband.’—‘And I take thee for such,’
+replied Quiteria, ‘whether thou mayest live many years, or now be
+hurried from mine arms to the grave.’—‘Considering how desperately this
+spark is wounded,’ said Sancho Panza, ‘methinks he talks woundily: make
+him lay aside his courtship, and mind his soul, which seems to be in his
+tongue rather than between his teeth.’
+
+The hands of Basilius and Quiteria being joined, the tender-hearted
+curate, with tears in his eyes, pronounced the nuptial benediction, and
+fervently prayed, that God would grant forgiveness and repose to the
+soul of the bridegroom; who no sooner perceived the ceremony was
+performed, than he nimbly sprung upon his legs with incredible activity,
+withdrew the tuck which was sheathed in his body, to the admiration of
+the by-standers; some of whom, being more simple than curious, began to
+cry aloud, ‘A miracle! a miracle!’ But Basilius replied, ‘No miracle! no
+miracle! but sheer industry! nothing but industry!’ The curate,
+confounded and astonished, ran up to feel the wound with both his hands,
+and found that the blade, instead of passing through the body of
+Basilius, had run through an iron tube fitted to the part, and full of
+blood, which, as they afterwards understood, was prepared so as to
+retain its fluidity: in a word, the curate and Camacho, with almost all
+the company, found themselves fairly out-witted. The bride, however,
+expressed no mortification at the deceit: on the contrary, hearing
+somebody observe that such a marriage, obtained by fraud, could not be
+valid, she said she confirmed it anew. From which circumstance every one
+concluded that the stratagem had been contrived and executed with her
+privity and consent. This supposition enraged Camacho and his adherents
+to such a degree, that they referred their revenge to the prowess of
+their hands, and, unsheathing a great many swords, assaulted Basilius,
+in whose favour almost an equal number were instantly produced. Don
+Quixote taking the lead on horseback, well armed with his lance and
+shield, made the whole company give ground; while Sancho, who had no
+delight or comfort in such exploits, retired to the jars from which he
+had extracted his agreeable scum, looking upon that place as a sacred
+sanctuary and respected retreat. The knight exclaimed, in an audible
+voice, ‘Forbear, gentlemen, forbear: it is unjust to revenge the
+grievances of love; for, in this particular, love and war are the same;
+and, as in the last, it is lawful and customary to use feints and
+stratagems against the enemy; so likewise in amorous contests and
+competitions, all sorts of tricks and contrivances, are allowed in
+attaining the accomplishment of the lover’s desire, provided they do not
+tend to the disparagement or dishonour of the beloved object. Quiteria
+was fated to Basilius, and Basilius to Quiteria, by the just and
+favourable determination of Heaven. Camacho is rich, and may purchase
+his pleasure when, where, and how his inclination shall require: whereas
+Basilius has but this one poor sheep, of which he ought not to be
+deprived by any person how powerful soever he may be; for those whom God
+hath joined, no man shall put asunder; and he who attempts it must first
+pass through the point of this lance.’ So saying, he brandished it with
+such strength and dexterity, as filled the hearts of those who did not
+know him with fear and consternation; and the disdain of Quiteria made
+such a deep impression upon the imagination of Camacho, that he shook
+her from his heart in an instant; so that the persuasions of the curate,
+who was a prudent and well-meaning priest, pacified and quieted him and
+his partizans, who, in token of peace, sheathed their weapons, blaming
+the inconstancy of Quiteria more than the contrivance of Basilius; and
+Camacho himself observed, that if she loved Basilius before marriage,
+the same love would have continued after it; and that he had more reason
+to thank Heaven for having lost, than he should have had for obtaining
+such an help-mate.
+
+Camacho, and those of his train, being thus consoled and appeased, the
+friends of Basilius took no step to disturb their peace; and Camacho the
+Rich, in order to shew how little he resented or thought of the trick
+which had been played him, desired that the entertainments might proceed
+as if he was really to be married: but Basilius with his bride and
+followers refusing to partake of them, set out in a body for the place
+of his habitation; for the poor, who are virtuous and discreet, will
+always find people to honour, attend, and support them, as well as the
+rich with all their parasites and companions. In consequence of their
+earnest intreaty, they were accompanied by Don Quixote, whom they
+esteemed as a prodigy of valour and integrity; and nothing was cloudy
+but the soul of Sancho, when he found it impossible to enjoy the
+splendid banquets and diversions of Camacho, that lasted till night: he
+therefore, in a fretful and melancholy mood, followed his master, who
+joined the troop of Basilius; leaving behind the flesh-pots of Egypt,
+although he still retained them in his fancy; and the half-finished scum
+of his kettle inhanced the glory and abundance of the benefit he had
+lost; so that, pensive, sullen, and sad, yet without hunger or
+dismounting from Dapple, he silently trudged after the heels of
+Rozinante.
+
+Footnote 157:
+
+ The patina was a small consecrated plate which the Spanish women,
+ especially those of an inferior rank, wore upon their breasts.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. V.
+ IN WHICH IS RECOUNTED THE VAST ADVENTURE OF THE CAVE OF MONTESINOS,
+ IN THE HEART OF LA MANCHA, WHICH WAS HAPPILY ATCHIEVED
+ BY THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE.
+
+
+Great and manifold were the treats and particulars of respect, paid to
+Don Quixote by the new-married couple, who thought themselves greatly
+obliged by the readiness he had shewn to defend their cause, and looked
+upon his discretion to be equal to his valour; indeed, they esteemed him
+a perfect Cid in arms, and a Cicero in elocution. Honest Sancho regaled
+himself three days at their expence, during which it was known that the
+contrivance of the fictitious wound had not been communicated to
+Quiteria, but was hatched by the ingenuity of Basilius himself, in hope
+of meeting with that success which, as we have seen, he actually
+attained; true it is, he confessed he had imparted his design to some of
+his friends, that they might, in case of necessity, favour his
+intention, and facilitate the execution of his deceit.
+
+‘Whatsoever hath virtue for its ultimate aim,’ said Don Quixote,
+‘neither can or ought to be called deceit; and surely no aim can be more
+excellent than the union of two lovers in the holy bands of marriage.’
+He observed, that the greatest enemy of love is hunger and necessity;
+for love is altogether sprightly, joyous, and satisfied, especially when
+the object of desire is in possession of the lover, whose fierce and
+declared adversaries are want and inconvenience. He made these
+observations with a view to persuade Signior Basilius to quiet the
+exercise of those talents he possessed, which, though they acquired
+reputation, would not earn a farthing of money, and to employ his
+attention in augmenting his estate by legal and industrious means, that
+never fail the prudent and the careful. The poor man of honour (if a
+poor man can deserve that title) possesses, in a beautiful wife, a
+jewel; and when that is taken away, he is deprived of his honour, which
+is murdered: a beautiful and chaste woman, whose husband is poor,
+deserves to be crowned with laurel and palms of triumph; for beauty
+alone attracts the inclinations of those who behold it, just as the
+royal eagle and soaring hawk stoop to the savoury lure; but if that
+beauty is incumbered by poverty and want, it is likewise attacked by
+ravens, kites, and other birds of prey; and if she who possesses it
+firmly withstands all these assaults, she well deserves to be called the
+crown of her husband. ‘Take notice, dearest Basilius,’ added the knight,
+‘it was the opinion of a certain sage, that there was but one good wife
+in the whole world; and he advised every husband to believe she had
+fallen to his share, and accordingly be satisfied with his lot. I myself
+am not married, nor hitherto have I entertained the least thought of
+changing my condition; nevertheless, I will venture to advise him who
+asks my advice, in such a manner, that he may find a woman to his wish:
+in the first place, I would exhort him to pay more regard to reputation
+than to fortune; for a virtuous woman does not acquire a good name,
+merely by being virtuous, she must likewise maintain the exteriors of
+deportment, for the honour of the sex suffers much more from levity and
+freedom of behaviour in publick, than from any private misdeeds. If thou
+bringest a good woman to thy house, it will be an easy task to preserve
+and even improve her virtue; but, shouldst thou chuse a wife of a
+different character, it will cost thee abundance of pains to mend her;
+for it is not very practicable to pass from one extreme to another: I do
+not say it is altogether impossible, though I hold it for a matter of
+much difficulty.’
+
+Sancho hearing these remarks, said to himself, ‘This master of mine,
+whenever I chance to utter any thing pithy or substantial, will say I
+might take a pulpit in hand, and travel through the world, teaching and
+preaching to admiration; now, I will say for him, that when he begins to
+string sentences, and give advice, he might not only take one pulpit in
+hand, but even a couple on each finger, and stroll about the
+market-towns. Wit, whither wouldst thou? May the devil fetch him for a
+knight-errant! he knows but every thing. I thought for certain, he could
+be acquainted with nothing but what relates to his chivalries; but he
+pecks at every thing, and throws his spoonful in every man’s dish.’
+
+His master overheard him murmuring in this manner, and asking what he
+grumbled at, ‘I don’t grumble,’ answered Sancho, ‘I was only saying to
+myself, I wished I had heard those remarks of your worship before I
+married; in which case I might now, perhaps, remark in my turn, “The
+loosened ox is well licked.”’—‘What, is Teresa such a bad wife?’ said
+the knight. ‘Not very bad,’ answered the squire, ‘but then she is not
+very good; at least, not so good as I could wish.’—‘You are in the
+wrong, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘to disparage your wife, who in effect
+is the mother of your children.’—‘As to that matter,’ replied Sancho,
+‘we are not at all in one another’s debt; for she can disparage me fast
+enough, especially when she takes it in her head to be jealous, and then
+Satan himself could not endure her.’
+
+In a word, they stayed three days with the new-married couple, during
+which they were treated and served like the king’s own person; and here
+Don Quixote desired the nimble-wristed licentiate to provide him with a
+guide to direct his steps to the cave of Montesinos, which he had a
+longing desire to explore, that he might investigate with his own eyes
+the truth of those wonderful stories that were reported of it through
+the whole neighbourhood. The licentiate promised to accommodate him with
+a first cousin of his own, a famous student deeply read in books of
+chivalry, who would willingly conduct him to the very mouth of the cave,
+and point out the lakes of Ruydera, so famous not only in the province
+of La Mancha, but also through the whole kingdom of Spain; and he
+likewise observed, that he would find his conversation very
+entertaining; for he was a lad who knew how to compose books for the
+press, and even dedicate them to princes. At length this cousin arrived
+upon an ass big with foal, whose pannel was covered with a piece of
+tawdry tapestry or carpet: Sancho saddled Rozinante, put Dapple in
+order, stowed his wallet, which was reinforced by the cousin’s, likewise
+very well stored; then recommending themselves to God, and taking leave
+of the company, they set out, chusing the shortest road to the famous
+cave of Montesinos.
+
+While they travelled along, Don Quixote addressing himself to the
+student, asked what was the nature and quality of his exercises,
+studies, and profession? To this question the other answered, that his
+profession was humanity; and that his exercise and study consisted in
+composing books for the press, of great emolument, and no less
+entertainment to the publick; that one of them was intitled, The Book of
+Liveries, in which he had described seven hundred and three liveries,
+with their colours, mottos, and cyphers: ‘From these,’ said he, ‘your
+courtiers may extract and assume such devices as will suit their
+fancies, in times of festivity and rejoicing, without going about
+begging from any person whatever, or cudgelling their brains, as the
+saying is, in order to invent what will suit their several desires and
+dispositions; for I insert those that will fit the jealous, the
+disdained, the forgotten, and absent, so exactly, that the just will far
+exceed the number of the Gentiles, I have likewise finished another
+book, which I propose to call, The Metamorphoses; or, The Spanish Ovid;
+of an invention equally new and agreeable; for there, in imitation of
+Naso, I give a burlesque description and history of the Giralda of
+Seville, the Angel of La Madalina, the Conduit of Vecinguerra at
+Cordova, the bulls of Guisanda, the Sierra Morena, the Fountains of
+Leganitos, and the Levapies of Madrid, not forgetting those of the
+Piojo, the Golden Pipe, and the Priora, with their allegories,
+metaphors, and transformations, which at once surprize, instruct, and
+entertain. I have a third performance, which I denominate, The
+Supplement to Polydore’s Virgil, which treats of the invention of
+things, and is a work of great study and erudition; for many things of
+great importance, which Polydore has omitted, I examine and explain in a
+most elegant stile: he, for example, has forgot to let us know who was
+the first person troubled with a defluxion or rheum, and who was first
+anointed for the cure of the French distemper: now these two questions I
+resolve in the most accurate manner, upon the authority of above five
+and twenty authors; so your worship will perceive whether I have
+laboured to good purpose, and composed a book that will be useful to the
+world in general.’
+
+Sancho having listened very attentively to this narration, ‘Tell me,
+Signior,’ said he, ‘so may God lend an helping hand to the printing of
+your books; tell me, if you know, and surely you know every thing, who
+was the first man that scratched his own head? for my own part, I firmly
+believe it must have been our father Adam.’—‘Certainly,’ answered the
+student; ‘for Adam without doubt had a head, and hair upon it; now that
+being the case, and he being the first man in the world, he must have
+scratched it sometimes.’—‘I am of the same opinion,’ resumed Sancho;
+‘but now, pray tell me who was the first tumbler!’—‘Verily, brother,’
+resumed the scholar, ‘I cannot determine that point until I shall have
+studied it, and study it I will, upon my return to the place where I
+keep my books; so that I shall satisfy you the next time we meet, for I
+hope this will not be the last time of our meeting.’—‘Then I desire you
+will give yourself no trouble about the matter,’ said Sancho; ‘for I
+have already found out the solution of my question: know, Signior, that
+the first tumbler must have been Lucifer, who, when he was thrown and
+rejected from heaven, came tumbling down to the bottomless
+pit.’—‘Friend,’ cried the student, ‘you are certainly in the
+right.’—‘That question and answer,’ said Don Quixote, ‘is none of thy
+own; thou must have learned them from some other person, Sancho.’—‘Hold
+your tongue, Signior,’ replied the squire: ‘for, in good faith! if I
+begin to question and answer, I shall not have done till morning: yes,
+as to the matter of asking like a fool, and answering like a simpleton,
+I have no occasion to crave the assistance of my neighbours.’—‘Thou hast
+said more than thou art aware of,’ answered Don Quixote; ‘for some
+people there are who fatigue themselves in learning, and investigating
+that which, when learned and investigated, is not worth a farthing
+either to the memory or understanding.’
+
+In this and other such relishing discourse they passed that day, and at
+night took up their lodging in a small village, from whence, as the
+scholar told the knight, the distance to the cave of Montesinos did not
+exceed a couple of leagues; and he observed, that if Don Quixote was
+really determined to explore the cavern, it would be necessary to
+provide ropes, by which he might be lowered down to its bottom. The
+knight said, that although he should descend to the abyss, he would see
+the bottom, for which purpose he purchased about a hundred fathoms of
+rope. Next day, about two o’clock in the afternoon, they arrived at the
+cave, and found the mouth broad and spacious, though overgrown with
+thorns, weeds, brambles, and brakes, so thick and intricate, that it was
+almost quite covered and concealed; at sight of the place all three
+alighted; the student and Sancho immediately began to fasten the rope
+strongly about the knight, and while they were thus employed in cording
+and girding him, Sancho addressing himself to the adventurer, ‘Dear
+master,’ said he, ‘consider what your worship is about; seek not to bury
+yourself alive, and to be used like a bottle of wine, let down to cool
+in some well; for it neither concerns nor belongs to your worship to be
+the surveyor of that pit, which must be worse than a dungeon.’—‘Tie the
+knot, and hold thy tongue, friend Sancho,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘for
+such an enterprize as this was reserved for me alone.’ Then the guide
+interposing, ‘I intreat your worship, Signior Don Quixote,’ said he, ‘to
+consider attentively and examine, as it were, with a hundred eyes, every
+circumstance within this cave, where, perhaps, there may be things which
+I shall insert among my transformations.’—‘The cymbal,’ answered Sancho,
+‘is in the hands that can play it to the utmost nicety.’
+
+This discourse having passed, and the ligature being made, not over the
+knight’s armour but his doublet, ‘We have been guilty of an
+inadvertency,’ said Don Quixote, ‘in coming hither unprovided with a
+small bell, which, had it been tied to me with the same cord, would,
+with its sound, have given you notice, as I descended, of my being
+alive; but, as it is now impossible to be accommodated, I commit myself
+to the hands of God, who will conduct me.’ Then falling upon his knees,
+he in a low voice preferred a prayer to Heaven, beseeching God to assist
+and crown him with success, in this seemingly perilous and new
+adventure. His ejaculation being finished, he pronounced, in a loud
+voice, ‘O! thou mistress of my deeds and motions, the most resplendent
+and peerless Dulcinea del Toboso! if the prayer and petition of this thy
+adventurous lover can possibly reach thine ears, I conjure thee, by thy
+unheard-of beauty, to grant my request, which is no other than that thou
+wouldst not now deny me thy favour and protection, when I stand so much
+in need of both; for I am just upon the brink of darting, plunging, and
+ingulphing myself into the profound abyss that opens wide before me, on
+purpose that the world may know there is nothing so impossible that I
+will not attempt and execute, under the wings of thy favour.’
+
+So saying, he approached the pit, where he found it would be
+impracticable to slip down, or make way for entering, without the
+strength of arms and back-strokes: he therefore, unsheathing his sword,
+began to lay about him, and mow down the bushes that grew around the
+mouth of the cave, out of which an infinite number of huge crows and
+daws, affrighted at the noise and disturbance, sallied forth with such
+force and velocity, as laid the knight upon his back; and had he been as
+superstitious as he was a good catholick, he would have looked upon this
+irruption as a bad omen, and excused himself from visiting the bowels of
+such a dreary place; at length he rose, and seeing that the flight of
+crows, and other birds of night, was now over, (for a number of bats had
+likewise come forth) he put the rope into the hands of Sancho and the
+scholar, desiring them to lower him down to the bottom of that dreadful
+cavern, which when he entered, Sancho gave him his benediction, and
+making a thousand crosses over him, exclaimed, ‘God and the Rock of
+France, together with the Trinity of Gaeta, be thy guides, thou flower,
+and cream, and scum of knights-errant: there thou goest, bully of the
+globe, heart of steel, and arm of brass! I say again, God be thy guide,
+and bring thee back safe, sound, and without deceit, to the light of
+this life, which thou art now forsaking to bury thyself in that
+obscurity.’ Almost the same prayer and deprecation was uttered by the
+scholar; while Don Quixote called aloud for rope, and afterwards for
+more rope, which they gave him by little and little. By that time the
+voice, which ascended through the windings and turnings of the cave,
+ceased to vibrate on their ears, they had already uncoiled the hundred
+fathoms, and were inclined to hoist him up again, as they had no more
+cord to spare: they stayed, however, about half an hour, at the
+expiration of which they began to pull up the rope, which seemed to have
+no weight attached to it, and came up with such ease, that they imagined
+the knight was left below; a supposition, in consequence of which the
+squire wept most bitterly, while he pulled with great eagerness in order
+to discover the truth; but when they had coiled up about four-score
+fathoms they felt the weight again, and were exceedingly rejoiced:
+finally, at the distance of ten fathoms, they distinctly perceived Don
+Quixote; to whom Sancho addressed himself, saying, ‘Dear master, I wish
+your worship an happy return; we began to think you had tarried below to
+breed.’
+
+To this welcome the knight answered not a word. When they had pulled him
+up, they perceived his eyes were shut, and that, to all appearance, he
+was fast asleep; then he was laid upon the ground, and untied, but still
+he did not awake: however, by dint of turning, jogging, shaking, and
+moving, they, after some time, brought him to himself, when yawning
+hideously as if he had awoke from a profound and heavy sleep, he looked
+around with amazement, and pronounced, ‘God forgive you, friends, for
+having withdrawn me from the most delightful prospect and agreeable life
+that ever mortal saw or enjoyed: in effect, I am now fully convinced,
+that all the pleasures of this life fleet away like a shadow or dream,
+or fade like the flowers of the field. O unfortunate Montesinos! O
+deeply wounded Durandarte! O hapless Belerma! O weeping Guadiana! and
+you forlorn daughters of Ruydera, who by your waters shew the copious
+floods of tears that fall from your beauteous eyes!’
+
+The scholar and Sancho hearing these words, which Don Quixote seemed to
+heave with immense pain from his very entrails, begged he would explain
+the meaning of what he had said, and inform them of what he had seen in
+that infernal gulph. ‘Infernal, call you it?’ said the knight; ‘pray
+give it a better epithet, for that it surely does deserve, as you will
+presently perceive.’ Then he desired they would give him something to
+eat, for he was excessively hungry; and they, spreading the carpet upon
+the grass, produced the buttery of their bags, when all three sitting
+around them, in love and good fellowship, made one meal serve for supper
+and afternoon’s luncheon, which being finished, and the cloth taken
+away, ‘My sons,’ said Don Quixote, ‘let no man stir, but listen with
+your whole attention to that which I am going to rehearse.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VI.
+ OF THE WONDERFUL INCIDENTS RECOUNTED BY THE EXTRAVAGANT DON QUIXOTE,
+ WHO PRETENDED TO HAVE SEEN THEM IN THE PROFOUND CAVE OF MONTESINOS;
+ FROM THE GREATNESS AND IMPOSSIBILITY OF WHICH
+ THIS ADVENTURE HAS BEEN DEEMED APOCRYPHAL.
+
+
+It might be about four o’clock in the afternoon, when the sun retiring
+behind a cloud, so as to emit a scanty light and temperate rays, gave
+Don Quixote an opportunity of relating coolly and comfortably to his two
+illustrious hearers the particulars he had seen in the cave of
+Montesinos; and he accordingly began to recite what follows.
+
+‘About twelve or fourteen fathoms below the mouth of this dungeon, there
+is a concavity on the right hand, wide enough to contain a large waggon
+with its cattle, and illuminated by a small stream of light that
+descends through corresponding cracks and crannies, which open at a
+distance on the surface of the earth: this spacious cavity I perceived,
+when I was tired and out of humour at finding myself hanging and
+descending by a rope, through that dark and dreary dungeon, without
+knowing any certain and determined way; I therefore resolved to enter
+it, and repose myself a little, and called to you to leave off lowering
+the rope, until I should give you farther notice; but I suppose you did
+not hear me, so that I gathered up the cord you let down, and making it
+into an heap or coil, sat down upon it in a very pensive mood, to
+consider how I should descend to the bottom, having no person to support
+my weight. While I sat musing on this misfortune, I was all of a sudden
+overpowered by a most profound sleep, and without dreaming of the
+matter, or knowing how, or wherefore, I awoke, and found myself in the
+midst of the most beautiful, charming and delightful meadow that nature
+could create, or the most fertile imagination conceive. I rubbed and
+wiped my eyes, so as to see that far from sleeping I was broad awake:
+nevertheless, I felt my head, and fumbled in my bosom, in order to be
+assured, whether it was really my identical self or some unsubstantial
+phantom and counterfeit; but the touch, the reflection, and connected
+discourse I held with myself, concurred to convince me, that I was the
+same at that time as I find myself at present. Then was my view regaled
+with a sumptuous palace or castle, with walls and battlements of clear,
+transparent chrystal, and two large folding gates, which, opening, there
+came forth, advancing towards me, a venerable old man, clad in a long
+cloak of purple baize, that trailed upon the ground: his shoulders and
+breast were girded with a collegiate scarf of green sattin; his head was
+covered with a black Milan cap; and his beard, white as the drifted
+snow, descended to his middle. He wore no arms, but held in his hand a
+rosary of beads as large as walnuts; though the tens were as big as
+ostrich-eggs; and his deportment, air, gravity, and dignified presence,
+filled me with surprize and veneration. Coming up to me, the first thing
+he did was to hug me closely in his arms; then he said, “Long, very
+long, most valiant knight Don Quixote de La Mancha, have we, who are
+inchanted in these solitudes, expected thy arrival, that thou mayest
+inform the world of what is contained and concealed in this profound
+cavern, which is called the cave of Montesinos; an adventure hitherto
+reserved on purpose to be atchieved by thy invincible heart and most
+stupendous courage. Follow me, illustrious Signior, and I will shew thee
+the wonders that lie hid in this transparent castle, of which I am
+governor and perpetual warder, as being that identical Montesinos, from
+whom the cavern takes its name.” No sooner had he told me who he was,
+than I asked if it was true, what the world above related of him,
+namely, that he had, with a small dagger, cut out the heart of his great
+friend Durandarte, and carried it to the Lady Belerma, according to his
+own desire, while he was in the agonies of death. He answered, every
+circumstance was true, except that of the dagger; for it was neither a
+dagger, nor small in its dimensions, but a polished poignard as sharp as
+an awl.’
+
+Here Sancho interposing, observed, that such a poignard must have been
+made by Raymond de Hozes of Seville. ‘I do not know who was the maker,’
+said the knight, ‘but it could not be that sword-cutler; for Raymond de
+Hozes was living t’other day; whereas many years are elapsed since the
+battle of Roncesvalles, where that misfortune happened; but this enquiry
+is of no importance; nor does it disturb or alter the truth and evidence
+of the story.’—‘No, surely,’ cried the scholar, ‘pray good your worship
+Don Quixote proceed; for I listen to your narration with infinite
+pleasure.’—‘And I feel no less in recounting it,’ answered the knight.
+
+‘Well, then, the venerable Montesinos led me into the chrystalline
+palace, where, in a low hall, cool beyond conception, and lined with
+alabaster, stood a monument of marble of exquisite workmanship, upon
+which I perceived a knight lying at full length, I do not mean a statue
+of bronze, marble, or jasper, such as we commonly see on other tombs,
+but a man of real flesh and bones; he held his right-hand, which being
+muscular and hairy, denoted the great strength of the owner, over the
+region of the heart; and before I had time to ask any questions,
+Montesinos seeing me astonished, and gazing attentively at the
+sepulchre, “This is my friend Durandarte,” said he, “the flower and
+mirrour of all the valiant and enamoured knights of his time: here he is
+kept inchanted as well as myself, and many others of both sexes, by
+Merlin, that French inchanter, who is said to have been begotten by the
+devil; though, for my own part, I believe he is not really the devil’s
+son, but that, according to the proverb, He knows one point more than
+the devil. How, or for what reason he inchanted us, nobody knows, but
+time will discover the mystery; and, in my opinion, that time is not far
+off: what surprizes me is, I know as certainly as the sun shines, that
+Durandarte breathed his last in my arms, and after he was dead, I with
+my own individual hands took out his heart, which must certainly have
+weighed a couple of pounds; for, according to the observation of
+naturalists, the man who has a large heart is endowed with more valour
+than he whose heart is of smaller dimensions: this being the case, and
+the knight certainly dead, how comes he, even at this day, to sigh and
+complain, from time to time, as if he was actually alive?”
+
+‘He had no sooner pronounced these words, than the wretched Durandarte
+cried, in a loud voice, “O cousin Montesinos! the last favour I
+requested of you, was, that when my soul should quit my body, you would
+extract my heart either with poignard or dagger, and carry it to
+Belerma.” The venerable Montesinos, hearing this apostrophe, kneeled
+before the piteous knight, and with tears in his eyes, replied,
+“Already, Signior Durandarte, my dearest cousin! already have I executed
+what you commanded me to perform, on that unlucky day of our defeat: I
+extracted your heart as well as I could, without leaving the smallest
+particle of it in your breast; I wiped it with a laced handkerchief, and
+set out with it full gallop for France, after having first committed you
+to the bosom of the earth with such a flood of tears as was sufficient
+to bathe and wash my hands of the blood they had contracted by raking in
+your bowels; and as a surer token, dear cousin of my soul! at the first
+place I reached, in my way from Roncesvalles, I sprinkled your heart
+with a little salt, that it might not acquire a bad smell, and continue,
+if not quite fresh, at least tolerably sweet, until it could be
+presented to the Lady Belerma, who, together with you and me, and your
+squire Guadiana, the duenna Ruydera, her seven daughters, and two
+nieces, and many others of your friends and acquaintance, have been long
+inchanted in this place by the sage Merlin; and although five hundred
+years are elapsed, not one of us is dead; though we have lost Ruydera
+with her daughters and nieces, who, by weeping, are, through the
+compassion of Merlin, converted into so many lakes, which, in the world
+above, and in the province of La Mancha, are called the Lakes of
+Ruydera; the Seven Sisters belong to the king of Spain, and the Two
+Nieces to the knights of a very holy order, called St. John. Your squire
+Guadiana bewailing likewise your misfortune, was changed into a river of
+the same name, which, when it reached the surface of the earth, and saw
+the sun of the other sky, was so grieved at the thoughts of leaving you,
+that he sunk down into the bowels of the globe; but, as it was not
+possible for him to resist his natural current, he from time to time
+rises up, shewing himself to the sun, and to the nations: he receives a
+reinforcement from the waters of the forementioned lakes, with which,
+and many others that join his stream, he enters Portugal in majesty and
+pomp. Nevertheless, wheresoever he runs, he discovers a sullen
+melancholy, and does not pique himself upon breeding within his channel
+fish of dainty relish and esteem; but only such as are coarse and
+unsavoury, and widely different from those of the golden Tagus. What I
+now say, my dear cousin, I have often expressed, and as you make no
+reply, I conclude you either do not hear or do not give credit to my
+words: a circumstance which, as Heaven doth know, overwhelms me with
+affliction. I will at present make you acquainted with one piece of
+news, which, if it does not alleviate your sorrow, can surely, in no
+shape, tend to its augmentation. Know then, here stands in your presence
+(open your eyes and behold him) that great knight of whom so many things
+have been prophesied by the sage Merlin; that Don Quixote de La Mancha,
+I say, who has renewed, and, with greater advantages than in times past,
+raised again from oblivion the long forgotten chivalry, by the means and
+favour of whom, perhaps, we ourselves may be disenchanted; for great men
+such great achievements are reserved.”—“And if that should not be the
+case,” replied the afflicted Durandarte, in a faint and languid tone;
+“and if that should not be the case, cousin, I say, patience, and
+shuffle the cards.” Then turning himself upon one side, he relapsed into
+his usual silence, without speaking another word.
+
+‘At that instant, hearing a great noise of shrieks and lamentations,
+accompanied by doleful sighing and dismal sobbing, I turned about, and
+saw through the chrystal walls into another apartment, through which a
+procession passed, consisting of two flies of most beautiful damsels in
+mourning, with white turbans on their heads, in the Turkish manner; in
+the rear of these came a lady, for such, by her stately demeanour, she
+seemed to be, cloathed like the rest in black, with a veil so full and
+long that it kissed the ground: her turban was twice as large as the
+largest of the others, her eye brows met above her nose, which was
+flattish; her mouth was large, but her lips retained the colour of
+vermillion; her teeth, which she sometimes disclosed, were thin and
+ill-set, though white as blanched almonds; and in her hand she held a
+fine linen cloth, in which, as near as I could guess, was an heart so
+dried and shrivelled, that it seemed to be of perfect mummy. Montesinos
+gave me to understand, that all those of the procession were domesticks
+of Durandarte and Belarma, inchanted in that place, together with their
+lord and lady; and that the last who carried the heart in the napkin,
+was Belerma herself, who, with her damsels, never failed to appear in
+that procession four days in the week, and sung, or rather howl, dirges
+over the body, and the woeful heart of his cousin: and that, if she now
+seemed a little homely, or not quite so beautiful as fame reported her,
+the change proceeded from the bad nights and worse days she passed in
+that state of inchantment, as I might perceive in her large wrinkles and
+wan complexion; nor did that yellowness and those furrows proceed from
+any irregularity in the monthly disorder incident to women; for many
+months and even years had passed since she had the least shew of any
+such evacuation; but solely from the anguish of her heart, occasioned by
+that which she holds incessantly in her hand, and which renews and
+recalls to her memory the misfortune of her ill-fated lover: had it not
+been for that mischance, scarce would she have been equalled in beauty,
+sprightliness, and grace, even by the fair Dulcinea del Toboso,
+celebrated as she is not only in this country, but also through the
+whole universe.
+
+‘“Softly, Signior Don Montesinos,” said I, interrupting him at the
+period, “be so good as to tell your story as it ought to be told; for
+you know all comparisons are odious, and therefore there is no occasion
+to compare any person with another; the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso is
+what she is, and the Lady Donna Belerma is likewise what she is and has
+been, and there let the matter rest.” To this remonstrance he replied,
+“Pardon me, Signior Don Quixote; I confess I have been to blame, and
+egregiously erred, in saying, the Lady Dulcinea would scarce equal the
+Lady Belerma; seeing, my having known by certain guesses that your
+worship is the knight of Dulcinea, was sufficient to have induced me to
+bite off my tongue, rather than compare her with any thing but Heaven
+itself.” Such satisfaction from the great Montesinos allayed the disgust
+that my heart received in hearing Belerma compared with my mistress.’
+
+‘I marvel much,’ said Sancho, ‘that your worship did not fall upon the
+old hunks, and break every bone in his skin; aye, and pull his beard in
+such a manner as not to leave one single hair.’—‘By no means, friend
+Sancho,’ answered the knight, ‘it would not have become me to behave in
+that manner; for we are all obliged to respect our seniors, although
+they are not knights; but more especially those who are really of that
+quality, and besides in a state of inchantment. This I know full well,
+that there was nothing left unpaid on either side, in the course of the
+questions and answers that passed between us.’
+
+Here the scholar, interposing, ‘I cannot conceive,’ said he, ‘Signior
+Don Quixote, how your worship, in such a short time as that you have
+spent below, could see so many things, and ask and answer such a number
+of questions.’—‘How long is it since I descended?’ said the knight.
+‘Little more than an hour,’ replied the squire. ‘That’s impossible,’
+resumed Don Quixote; ‘for night fell, and morning dawned, and darkness
+and light succeeded each other three times; so that, by my reckoning, I
+must have remained three days in those sequestered shades, which are
+hidden from our view.’—‘My master must be in the right,’ said Sancho,
+‘for as all those things have happened by inchantment, perhaps what
+appeared but one hour to us, might seem three days and nights to your
+worship.’—‘It may be so,’ answered the knight. Then the student asking
+if his worship had eaten any thing in all that time, ‘I have not tasted
+one mouthful,’ said he, ‘nor had I the least sensation of hunger.’—‘And
+do those who are inchanted, eat?’ resumed the scholar, ‘They do not
+eat,’ answered Don Quixote, ‘nor do they void the larger excrements,
+though, it is supposed, that their nails, beards, and hair, are always
+growing.’
+
+Here Sancho desired to know, if ever those inchanted gentry enjoyed the
+benefit of sleep. To which interrogation his master replied, ‘No,
+surely; at least, in those three days that I passed among them, neither
+they nor myself once closed an eye.’—‘Here then,’ said the squire, ‘we
+may conveniently trust in the proverb, Tell me your company, and I’ll
+tell you your manners. While your worship keeps company with inchanted
+people, who are always fasting and watching, it is no great wonder if
+you neither eat nor sleep while you are among them; but really, Signior,
+your worship must forgive me, if I say, that of all you have told us,
+God take me, I was going to say the devil, if I believe one
+circumstance.’—‘How!’ cried the scholar, ‘then Signior Don Quixote must
+have lyed: who even if we could entertain such a supposition, has not
+had time to compose and contrive such a number of fables.’—‘I do not
+believe that my master tells lies,’ answered Sancho. ‘What, then, is thy
+conception?’ said the knight. ‘I conceive,’ replied Sancho, ‘that
+Merlin, or those magicians who have inchanted the whole rabble which
+your worship hath seen and discoursed with below, have likewise stuffed
+your noddle or memory with all that nonsense which you have already
+recounted, as well as what you have left untold.’—‘That might be the
+case,’ said Don Quixote, ‘but I assure you it is not so at present; for
+what I have recounted I saw with my own eyes, and touched with my own
+hands. But, what wilt thou say, when I now tell thee, that among an
+infinite number of other wonderful things, which I shall relate
+hereafter in the course of our travels, as they do not all belong to
+this place, Montesinos shewed me three country-wenches, leaping and
+skipping like so many goats through those delightful plains; and scarce
+had I set eyes on them, when I recognize them to be the peerless
+Dulcinea, and those two individual young women, with whom we spoke in
+the neighbourhood of Toboso. When I asked Montesinos if he knew them, he
+answered in the negative, but said he took them to be some inchanted
+ladies of quality; for they had appeared but a few days in that meadow;
+nor ought I to wonder at that circumstance, forasmuch as in the same
+place there were many ladies of the past and present age, inchanted in
+different and strange forms; among whom he recollected Queen Ginebra and
+her duenna Quintanona, who was skinker to Lancelot, when he came from
+Britain.’ Sancho, hearing his master talk in this manner, was ready to
+run distracted, or burst with laughing; for, knowing the truth of the
+feigned inchantment of Dulcinea, of which indeed he himself had been the
+author and evidence, he was convinced beyond all doubt, that his master
+was stark-staring mad; and in that persuasion exclaimed, ‘In evil hour,
+accursed season, and unlucky day, my dear master, did your worship go
+down to the other world; and in a mischievous moment did you meet with
+Signior Montesinos, who has sent you back in such a woeful condition.
+Well was your worship here above, in your sound judgment, such as God
+had bestowed upon you, saying sentences, and giving counsel at every
+turn, and not as at present, venting a heap of the greatest nonsense,
+that was ever conceived.’—‘I know thee too well, Sancho,’ answered Don
+Quixote, ‘to mind what thou sayest.’—‘And I, in like manner,’ replied
+the squire, ‘know you too well to regard what you say: wound me, or
+confound me, or kill me if you will, for what I have said, and what I
+mean to say, if your worship does not mend and correct your own
+speeches; but, now we are at peace, pray tell me how or by what token
+you came to know our lady mistress, and if you spoke to her, what answer
+she made?’
+
+‘I knew her again,’ replied the knight, ‘by the same cloaths she wore
+when thou thyself didst shew her to my astonished eyes; I likewise
+addressed myself to her, but she answered not a syllable; on the
+contrary, she turned about, and fled so swiftly, that an arrow would not
+have overtaken her: nevertheless, I wished to follow, and would
+certainly have pursued her, had not Montesinos advised me not to fatigue
+myself; for it would be to no purpose, and besides, it was time for me
+to return to the light above. He likewise told me, that, in process of
+time, he would give me notice in what manner he, Durandarte, Belerma,
+and all the rest, in those sequestered shades, were to be disenchanted.
+But what of all I saw and observed gave me the greatest pain was this;
+while I was engaged in this conversation with Montesinos, one of the
+hapless Dulcinea’s companions came up to me, unperceived, and with tears
+in her eyes, thus accosted me, in a low and whimpering voice: “My Lady
+Dulcinea Del Toboso kisses your worship’s hands, and begs your worship
+will be pleased to let her know how your worship does; moreover, being
+in great necessity, she supplicates your worship, in the most earnest
+manner, to be pleased to lend her, upon this her new cotton under
+petticoat, half a dozen rials, or any small matter your worship can
+spare, which upon her honest word, shall be restored in a very short
+time.” This message filled me with surprize and concern; and turning to
+the sage, “Is it possible, Signior Montesinos,” said I, “that people of
+condition are exposed to necessity, in a state of inchantment?” To this
+question he replied, “Take my word for it, Signior Don Quixote de La
+Mancha, that which we call necessity is known in all states, extending
+to all conditions, prevailing among every class of people, and not even
+sparing those who are inchanted; and since Signora Dulcinea Del Toboso
+sends to beg these six rials, and the pledge seems to be well worth the
+money, you had better let her have them; for she must certainly be in
+great trouble.”—“The pledge I will not touch,” said I, “nor indeed can I
+comply with her request; for I have not above four rials!” which I gave
+her; and these were the very individual pieces which I received from
+thee, Sancho, t’other day, in order to give away in charity to the poor
+I might meet with on the road, “Sweet-heart,” said I, “tell your lady
+that her distress affects me to the very soul, and I wish I were as rich
+as Fouckar[158] to remove it; let her know, that I neither can, nor will
+enjoy health while deprived of her agreeable presence and improving
+conversation; and that I fervently and earnestly beg her goodness will
+be pleased to indulge with her company, this her captive servant and
+afflicted knight. Tell her also, that, when least she dreams of any such
+matter, she shall hear that I have made a vow, like that which was sworn
+by the Marquis of Mantua, to revenge his cousin Valdovinos; when he
+found him at the last gasp, in the middle of the mountain; namely, that
+he would not eat from off a table-cloth, together with some whimsical
+additions, until he should have revenged his death; and, in like manner,
+I will swear never to be quiet, but traverse the seven divisions of the
+globe, more punctually than did the infant Don Pedro of Portugal[159],
+until she be restored to the upper world.”—“All that and much more you
+owe to my lady,” said the damsel; who, taking the rials instead of
+curtseying, cut a caper in the air two yards high.’
+
+‘O holy God!’ cried Sancho, with a loud voice, ‘is it possible that
+those inchanters and enchantments should have such power to change the
+good sense of my master into such nonsensical madness! O Signior,
+Signior! for the love of God, look to yourself, have some respect for
+your own honour, and give no credit to those vanities, which have
+diminished and disturbed your senses.’—‘Thy regard for me, Sancho, makes
+thee talk in that manner,’ answered the knight: ‘and as thou art not
+experienced in the events of this world, every thing that is uncommon,
+to thee seems impossible; but the time will come, as I have already
+observed, when I shall recount some circumstances which I saw below,
+that will compel thee to believe what I have now related, the truth of
+which neither admits of dispute or reply.’
+
+Footnote 158:
+
+ Fouckar was a very rich merchant of Augsburg, and a great favourite of
+ Charles V. who owed him a very considerable sum. It is reported of
+ him, that when the emperor lodged at his house, in his return from
+ Tunis, the fire in his chamber was of cinnamon, and his landlord
+ lighted it with his imperial majesty’s own obligation, thereby
+ cancelling an immense debt. The wealth of these traders, for there
+ were two brothers, became proverbial, and it was usual to say of any
+ very opulent person, ‘He is as rich as a Fouckar.’
+
+Footnote 159:
+
+ This was the great patron of the Portuguese discoveries along the
+ coast of Africa to the Cape of Good Hope.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VII.
+ IN WHICH ARE RECOUNTED A THOUSAND FOOLERIES,
+ EQUALLY IMPERTINENT,
+ AND NECESSARY TO THE TRUE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS SUBLIME HISTORY.
+
+
+He who translated this sublime history from the original, composed by
+its first author Cid Hamet Benengeli, says, that coming to the chapter
+which treats of the adventure of the cave, he found this observation
+written on the margin in the handwriting of the said Hamet.
+
+‘I cannot conceive or persuade myself that the valiant Don Quixote
+literally saw and heard all that is recounted in the foregoing chapter,
+for this reason: all the adventures in which he has hitherto been
+engaged, are feasible and likely to have happened; but this of the cave
+I can by no means believe true, in any circumstance, because it is so
+wide of all reason and probability; then to suppose that Don Quixote
+would tell lyes, he that was the truest gentleman and most noble knight
+of his time! it is not possible! He certainly would have suffered
+himself to be shot to death, rather than deviate one tittle from the
+truth; besides, I consider that he explained and recounted the adventure
+so circumstantially, that he could not be supposed to have contrived
+extempore such a large concatenation of extravagances; but, after all,
+should the adventure seem apocryphal, the blame cannot be laid to my
+door, and therefore I give it to the publick without affirming it either
+to be true or false. Reader, if thou hast discernment, thou mayest judge
+for thyself; for it is neither my duty, nor is it in my power to do
+more: though it is held for certain, that the knight, on his death-bed,
+retracted the whole, saying he had invented the story because it seemed
+to agree and quadrate with those adventures he had read in his books.’
+
+Then the Arabian proceeds in his history to this effect.
+
+The scholar was equally astonished at the presumption of Sancho Panza
+and the forbearance of his master, and concluded that the satisfaction
+he derived from having seen his mistress Dulcinea del Toboso, even
+though inchanted, had produced that milkiness of temper, which was now
+so remarkable; had not this been the case, Sancho’s freedom and remarks
+were such as would have brought a wooden shower upon his shoulders; for
+he was downright impertinent to his master, to whom the student thus
+addressed himself: ‘For my own part, Signior Don Quixote de La Mancha, I
+look upon this as the happiest journey I ever performed; for, in the
+course of it, I have made four valuable acquisitions. In the first
+place, I have gained the acquaintance of your worship, which I deem a
+piece of singular felicity. Secondly, I have been made acquainted with
+what is locked up and contained in the cave of Montesinos, together with
+the Metamorphoses of Guadiana, and the Lakes of Ruydera; transmutations
+that will aptly fill a place in the Spanish Ovid which I have in hand.
+Thirdly, I have discovered the antiquity of card-playing, which, at
+least, must be as old as the time of Charlemagne, as may be gathered
+from the words which your worship heard Durandarte pronounce, when, at
+the end of that long harangue of Montesinos, he awoke and said,
+“Patience, and shuffle the cards.” For that phrase and manner of
+speaking he could not have learned during his inchantment; but
+certainly, when he was alive and well in France, during the reign of the
+said Charlemagne: and this investigation comes pat to the purpose, for
+the other book which I am composing; I mean, the Supplement to Polydore
+Virgil, on the invention of antiquities; for I take it for granted, he
+has forgot to insert in his book the discovery of card-playing, which I
+will now explain, and doubtless it will be a very material circumstance,
+especially when confirmed by such a grave and authentick evidence as
+Signior Durandarte. Fourthly and lastly, I have now ascertained the
+source of the Guadiana, hitherto unknown among the nations.’
+
+‘You have indeed good reason to be satisfied,’ replied the knight; ‘but
+I should be glad to know, if, by God’s assistance, you should obtain a
+licence for printing those books, (which is a matter of doubt with me)
+to what patron you intend they should be dedicated?’—‘There are plenty
+of lords and grandees in Spain,’ answered the scholar, ‘to whom they may
+be dedicated.’—‘But a very few,’ said Don Quixote; ‘not but that a great
+many deserve dedications, but because few will receive them, that they
+may not lay themselves under the obligation of making such a recompence
+as may seem due to the labour and courtesy of authors: one prince,
+indeed, I know, who supplies the defect of the rest with such
+advantages, that if I durst presume to describe them, I might perhaps
+excite envy in many noble hearts. But let that circumstance rest till a
+more convenient season; and, in the mean time, let us endeavour to find
+some place where we may procure a night’s lodging.’—‘Not far from
+hence,’ replied the student, ‘is an hermitage where lives an anchorite,
+who is said to have been a soldier, and bears the character of being a
+good Christian, and moreover a very discreet and charitable man:
+adjoining to the hermitage is a little house, built by the labour of his
+own hands, which, though narrow, is large enough to receive
+travellers.’—‘Can that same hermitage produce any poultry?’ said Sancho.
+‘There are few hermitages destitute of that provision,’ answered the
+knight; ‘for the anchorites of these days are not like those who dwelt
+in the desarts of Egypt, cloathing themselves with palm-leaves, and
+subsisting on the roots of the earth. And here I would not be understood
+to extol one sort, in order to depreciate another; for the penance now
+in use does not come up to the rigour and austerity of those times.
+Nevertheless, they are all good, at least, so I suppose them to be be;
+and even should the stream run foul, the hypocrite, who cloaks his
+knavery, is less dangerous to the commonwealth than he who transgresses
+in the face of day.’
+
+This conversation was interrupted by the appearance of a man coming
+towards them on foot, walking fast, and switching a mule loaded with
+lances and halberts: when he came up he saluted them, and passed on at a
+good pace, and Don Quixote perceiving his hurry, ‘Honest friend,’ said
+he, ‘pray stop a little, for you seem to go faster than your mule could
+wish.’—‘Signior,’ answered the man, ‘I cannot tarry at present, because
+these arms of which I have the charge, are to be used to-morrow morning,
+so that I cannot possibly stay, therefore adieu: but if you desire to
+know for what purpose they were procured, at the inn which is beyond the
+hermitage I have some thoughts of taking my night’s lodging, and if you
+are travelling the same road, there you will find me, and there you
+shall hear strange tidings; so, once more I bid you farewel.’ So saying,
+he whipped up the mule in such a manner, that Don Quixote had not time
+to ask another question concerning those strange tidings which he
+promised to relate; but, being extremely curious, and continually
+fatigued with the desire of learning novelties, he ordered his company
+to set off that instant, and proceed to the inn, without touching at the
+hermitage, where the scholar wished to pass the evening. In compliance
+with the knight’s desire, all three mounted their beasts, and followed
+the direct road to the inn, which they reached a little before the
+twilight. The student, however, proposed that they should call and take
+a draught at the hermitage. Sancho Panza, hearing this proposal,
+immediately turned Dapple’s head towards it, being followed by Don
+Quixote and the scholar: but his ill luck seemed to have ordained, that
+the hermit should not be at home, as they were told by an under-hermit,
+whom they found in the place. When the squire demanded a flask of his
+best and dearest, he answered, that his master had no wine, but if he
+chose a pitcher of his cheapest water, he should have it with all his
+heart. ‘If I had chosen water,’ said Sancho, ‘there is plenty of wells
+upon the road, from which I might have quenched my thirst. O the wedding
+of Camacho! and the abundance of Don Diego’s house! how often shall I
+lament the loss of you?’
+
+When he had uttered this ejaculation, they quitted the hermitage, and
+pushed on towards the inn; and having rode forwards a little way, they
+overtook a lad who travelled the same road at his own leisure: he
+carried a sword over his shoulder, that supported a bundle of cloaths,
+which seemed to consist of trousers, a cloak, and shirt; for he wore a
+velvet jacket with some slips of sattin, and the shirt hanging out; he
+had silk stockings, and square-toed shoes in the court fashion; his age
+seemed to be about eighteen or nineteen; he had a sprightly countenance,
+and an agility in his person; he amused himself in singing couplets to
+beguile the fatigue of travelling, and when they overtook him, had just
+finished one, which the student remembered to have run in this strain.
+
+ ‘To the wars my necessity drags me away,
+ But if I had money at home I would stay.’
+
+The first who accosted him was Don Quixote, saying, ‘You travel very
+light, young gentleman; pray, good now, whither may you be going?’ To
+this interrogation the youth replied, ‘I travel so light on account of
+poverty, and the heat of the weather; and I am going to the wars.’—‘The
+heat may be a very good reason,’ resumed the knight; ‘but how should
+poverty be the cause of your travelling in that manner?’—‘Signior,’
+answered the youth, ‘I carry in this bundle a pair of velvet
+trunk-breeches, fellows to this jacket, which if I wear out in the
+country, they will do me no credit in town, and I have not wherewithal
+to purchase a reinforcement; for this reason, therefore, and the benefit
+of the free air, I travel as you see me, until I get up with some
+companies of foot, which are quartered at a town about twelve leagues
+from hence; there I shall inlist among them, and there will not be
+wanting some baggage-waggon, in which I may proceed to the place of
+embarkation, which they say is to be Carthagena; and I would much rather
+have the king for my lord and master, and serve him in his wars, than be
+the lacquey of some scoundrel at court.’—‘And have you obtained any
+post?’ said the scholar. ‘Had I served a grandee of Spain, or some
+person of quality,’ replied the youth, ‘I should certainly have got
+something of that kind; for this is the advantage of being in good
+service, that a man is frequently preferred from the back of his
+master’s chair to a pair of colours, a company, or some handsome
+provision: but it was my unhappy fate to be always in the service of
+poor idle rascals, or foreigners, who give such a miserable and
+consumptive allowance of board-wages, that one half was expended in the
+starching of a ruff; and it would be looked upon as a miracle, if any
+such page adventurer should obtain a tolerable provision.’—‘And pray,
+friend,’ said Don Quixote, ‘is is possible, that during all the years
+you have been in service, you never had a livery?’—‘Yes,’ answered the
+page, ‘I have had two; but, as he who quits a convent before he
+professes, is stripped of his habit, and obliged to resume his own
+cloaths, so was I served by my masters, who, after having transacted the
+business that brought them to court, returned to their own homes, and
+took back the liveries, which they had given me out of mere
+ostentation.’
+
+‘A very scandalous espilocheria[160], indeed, as the Italians call it,’
+said Don Quixote; ‘but, notwithstanding, you may think yourself very
+happy in having left the court with such a laudable intention; for there
+is nothing upon earth more productive of honour and profit, next to the
+service of God, than the service of the king, our natural lord and
+master; especially in the exercise of arms, by which more honour, if not
+more wealth, is acquired than by learning itself; for, as I have divers
+and sundry times observed, although a greater number of families has
+been raised by learning than by arms, yet those founded upon arms rise,
+I don’t know how, above their fellows, with a kind of natural splendor,
+by which all others are outshone; and what I am now going to say, I
+desire you will lay up in your remembrance, for it will be of much
+comfort and utility to you, in the midst of all your sufferings: never
+entertain a thought of what adversity may happen, for the worst is
+death; and provided it comes with honour, it is the greatest happiness
+to die. Julius Cæsar, that valiant emperor of Rome, being asked which
+was the most agreeable death, answered, “That which is sudden,
+unexpected, and unforeseen:” and though this reply savoured of the
+pagan, ignorant of the knowledge of the true God, nevertheless, with
+regard to his being freed from the pangs of human infirmity, he said
+well; for supposing you should be slain in the first action or skirmish,
+either by a cannon ball, or the explosion of a mine, what does it
+signify? we must all die, and there is an end to the whole; and,
+according to Terence, a dead soldier, who falls in battle, makes a much
+nobler appearance than one who lives by running away: the good soldier
+acquires reputation in proportion to the obedience he pays to his
+captain, or those who have a right to command him; and pray, take
+notice, child, a soldier had much better smell of gunpowder than of
+civet; and if old age overtake you in that noble employment, though you
+should be covered over with wounds, paralytick, or lame, it can never
+overtake you without such honour as poverty cannot diminish; especially
+now, that provision is to be made for the maintenance and relief of old
+disabled soldiers; for it is not reasonable that they should be treated
+like negro slaves, to whom, when they are old and incapable of service,
+their masters often give their freedom, driving them from their houses,
+and under the title of liberty, leaving them still slaves to hunger,
+which nothing but death can dispel. This is all I have to say at
+present; therefore get up and ride behind me to the inn, where I shall
+treat you with a supper, and in the morning you may pursue your journey,
+which I pray God may be as fortunate as your intention is good.’
+
+The page excused himself from riding behind the knight, though he
+embraced his invitation to supper at the inn; and Sancho said within
+himself, ‘Lord comfort thee for a master! Is it possible that a man who
+can utter so many good things, should affirm that he has seen all that
+impossible nonsense which he has told of the cave of Montesinos! But,
+time is the trier of all things.’
+
+In such discourse they arrived at the inn, just as it grew dark, and
+Sancho was not a little rejoiced to find that his master took it to be a
+real inn, and not a castle, according to his usual whims. They had
+scarcely entered, when Don Quixote enquired of the landlord about the
+man with the lances and halberts, and understood he was in the stable,
+providing for the accommodation of his beast; an example which was
+followed by the student and Sancho, who preferred Rozinante to the best
+manger and stall of the whole stable.
+
+Footnote 160:
+
+ A knavish trick.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VIII.
+ IN WHICH IS SET FORTH THE BRAYING ADVENTURE, AND THE DIVERTING
+ ATCHIEVEMENT OF THE PUPPETS, WITH THE MEMORABLE RESPONSES OF THE
+ DIVINING APE.
+
+
+Don Quixote would not stay till his bread was baked, as the saying is,
+so impatient was he to hear and know the strange tidings that were
+promised by the arms-carrier, in quest of whom he forthwith went to the
+place where the landlord said he was; and having found him, desired he
+would by all means gratify him with a circumstantial account of those
+things he had mentioned on the road. ‘The account of my strange
+tidings,’ answered the man, ‘I shall give when I am more at leisure, and
+not at work as I am at present: if your worship will give me time to
+take care of my beast, I will tell you such things as you will be
+surprized to hear.’—‘They shall not be delayed on that account,’ said
+the knight, ‘for I myself will lend you an helping hand.’ He accordingly
+winnowed the corn and cleaned the manger; so that the man, induced by
+his humility, could do no less than grant his request, with good will:
+sitting down, therefore, in a hollow of the wall, close by Don Quixote,
+who, with the scholar, page, Sancho Panza, and the inn-keeper, composed
+his council and audience, he began to relate what follows.
+
+‘You must know, gentlemen, that in a village at the distance of four
+leagues and a half from this inn, it came to pass, that a certain
+alderman, through the craft and malice of a servant wench, which I have
+not time to explain, lost an ass; and though the said alderman used all
+possible means to find him, he found it impossible to succeed: fifteen
+days had the ass been missing, according to publick fame and report,
+when the owner was, in the market-place, accosted by another alderman of
+the same town, who said, “Hansel me for my good news, neighbour; your
+beast has appeared.”—“That I will, neighbour, and heartily,” answered
+the other; “but let us know where he has appeared.”—“Upon the mountain,”
+replied the finder: “I saw him this morning, without pack-saddle or any
+sort of furniture; and so lean, that it was piteous to behold him. I
+would have driven him before me, and brought him home; but he is so wild
+and shy, that when I went near him, he took to his heels, and ran into
+the most concealed part of the mountain: if you chuse it, we two will go
+in quest of him; stay till I house my own beast, and I’ll return
+presently.”—“I shall be much obliged to you,” said he of the strayed
+ass; “and I shall endeavour to repay you in the same coin.” With these
+very circumstances, and in the self-same manner that I relate the affair
+to you, it is told and related by all those who have entered into the
+true spirit of the case.
+
+‘In conclusion, the two aldermen walked hand in hand to the mountain,
+and coming to the place and spot where they expected to find the ass,
+they found him not; nor could they get one glimpse of him, although they
+searched all about, over and over. Perceiving that he was not likely to
+appear, “Heark ye, neighbour,” said the alderman who had seen him,
+“there is a contrivance come into my head, by which we shall certainly
+discover this animal, even though he should be concealed in the bowels
+of the earth, much more if he is in this mountain; and that is this, I
+have a marvellous knack at braying, and if you have any turn that way,
+you may conclude the business is done.”—“Any turn, neighbour!” cried the
+other: “by the Lord! I will not yield in point of braying to the best
+man alive, not even to an identical ass,”—“We shall see presently,”
+answered the second alderman; “for my intention is that you should go to
+one side of the mountain, and I to the other, so as to walk round it
+quite, and every now and then you shall bray, and I will bray; and it
+cannot be but that the ass will hear, and answer, if he is on this
+mountain.” To this proposal the owner replied, “Neighbour, it is an
+excellent scheme, and worthy your great genius.” So parting, according
+to agreement, it came to pass that both brayed almost at the same time,
+and each being deceived by the other’s braying ran forward in hopes of
+finding the ass; when perceiving their mistake, “Neighbour,” said the
+loser, “is it possible that was not my ass which brayed just now?”—“No:
+it was I,” answered the other. “Agad, then,” cried the owner, “there is
+not the least difference, in point of braying, between you and an ass!
+for in my life did I never hear or see such a resemblance.”—“That
+compliment and approbation,” answered the contriver, “would be much
+better bestowed upon yourself than upon me, neighbour; for by the God
+that made me, you would give two heats of advantage to the biggest and
+best brayer in Christendom; for the sound you produce is deep, sonorous,
+within proper time and compass, and the falls frequent and sharp; in a
+word, I own myself overcome, and yield you the palm and banner of that
+rare talent.”—“By the mass!” said the owner, “I will from henceforward
+have a higher opinion of my own ability, and believe I know something,
+since I really possess such a gift; for although I always thought I
+brayed tolerably well, I never imagined I excelled so much as you say I
+do.”—“I therefore tell you,” replied the other, “that many rare talents
+are lost in this world; and that they are ill-bestowed on those who
+cannot turn them to advantage.”—“Ours,” said the owner, “except in such
+cases as this, that we have now in hand, can be but of little service,
+and even in this God grant it may turn to account.”
+
+‘After these mutual compliments they parted a second time, and began to
+bray again; but still they were deceived, and met as before, until, by
+way of counter-signal, from which they might know one another, they
+agreed to bray twice in a breath: accordingly they doubled their
+brayings, and encompassed the whole mountain, without being favoured
+with the least answer or sign from the strayed ass; and, indeed, no
+wonder, the poor unfortunate animal did not answer; for they found him
+in the remotest part of the wood, almost devoured by the wolves. The
+owner seeing him in this plight, “I marvelled much,” said he, “that he
+did not answer, for had he been alive and heard you, he must have brayed
+again, else he had been no ass; but as I have had the pleasure of
+hearing you bray so melodiously, neighbour, I think my trouble well
+bestowed, even although I have found him dead.”—“’Tis in good hands,
+neighbour,” replied the other; “for in chanting the clerk is not a whit
+inferior to the curate.”
+
+‘Having made these mutual remarks, they returned to the village, equally
+hoarse and disconsolate, and recounted to their friends, neighbours, and
+acquaintance, what had happened to them, in their searching for the ass,
+extolling one another to the skies for the talent of braying; so that
+every circumstance of the story was related among the neighbouring
+villages; and the devil, who is never at rest, but always glad of an
+opportunity to sow discord and scatter quarrels, raising lyes in the
+wind, and huge chimeras from little or no foundation, so ordered
+matters, that the people of the other villages, when they saw any person
+belonging to our town, began to bray, as if to hit him in the teeth with
+the braying of our aldermen. The story was taken up by the boys, which
+was all one as if he had fallen into the hands and mouths of all the
+devils in hell, and the braying was circulated from one town to another
+in such a manner, that the natives of the village of Braywick are as
+well known and distinguished as a Blackmore from a Spaniard; and this
+joke has become so serious, that our townsmen have frequently gone forth
+in arms and regular order to give battle to the jokers, without any
+regard to king or rook, or fear or shame; I believe that tomorrow or
+next day, the men of Braywick will take the field once more against the
+people of another village within two leagues of us, who are our chief
+persecutors; and that we may be well provided for the occasion, I have
+purchased the lances and halberts, you have seen. Now these are the
+strange tidings which I said I would relate; and if you do not think
+them so, I have no other worth your hearing.’
+
+Thus the honest man concluded his story; and at that instant came into
+the house, a man cloathed in a doublet, breeches, and hose of
+shamoy-leather, who said with a loud voice, ‘So ho, Mr. Landlord! have
+you got any lodging for the fortune-telling ape, and the puppet-shew of
+the deliverance of Melisendra?’—‘Odd’s bodikins!’ cried the inn-keeper,
+‘Master Peter here! we shall have rare doings i’faith.’ We forgot to
+observe that the left-eye, and half of the cheek of this Master Peter
+was covered with a patch of green silk, from whence it was supposed all
+that side of the face laboured under some infirmity. Be that as it will,
+the innkeeper proceeded, saying, ‘Welcome, good Master Peter; but where
+is the ape and the puppet-shew? for I see neither.’—‘They are at hand,’
+answered the owner of the shamoy-suit; ‘but I came before to know
+whether or not we could have lodging.’—‘The Duke D’Alva himself should
+be turned out to make room for Master Peter,’ said the landlord; ‘bring
+hither your ape and your shew, for there is company in the house that
+will pay for a sight of them.’—‘In good time, then,’ replied the wearer
+of the patch. ‘I will lower the price, and think myself well paid, if
+they defray the expence of my lodging; meanwhile, I’ll go and lead
+hither the cart that contains my puppets and my ape.’
+
+So saying, he went out; and Don Quixote enquiring who this Master Peter
+was, with the puppet-shew and ape, the landlord replied, ‘This is a
+famous puppet-shew man, who had long travelled through La Mancha and
+Arragon, representing the story of Melisendra, who was delivered by the
+famous Don Gayferos, one of the most entertaining and best represented
+histories which have been for many years seen in this kingdom; he
+likewise carries along with him an ape of the rarest talent that ever
+was known among apes, or conceived among men: for if you ask any
+question, it listens attentively to what you say, then leaping upon his
+master’s shoulders, and clapping its mouth to his ear, it gives an
+answer, which Master Peter immediately explains. Of things that are past
+it says much more than of those that are to come, and though it does not
+hit the truth exactly in every thing, it errs but seldom; so that we are
+inclined to believe it is inspired by the devil. Every question costs a
+couple of rials, provided the ape answers; I mean, supposing the master
+answers for the ape, after it has whispered in his ear; wherefore,
+Master Peter is thought to be woundy rich: indeed, he is a gallant man,
+as they say in Italy, an excellent companion, and lives the pleasantest
+life in the world; he talks as much as any six, and drinks more than a
+dozen, and all at the expence of his tongue, his ape, and his
+puppet-shew.’
+
+Just as he spoke these words, Master Peter returned with the cart that
+contained the puppets and the ape, which was a very large animal,
+without a tail; his buttocks were like felt, but not ugly withal; and
+Don Quixote no sooner beheld him than he asked, ‘Pray, Mr.
+Fortune-teller, what have we got in the net? what fortune awaits us?
+Behold, here are my two rials.’ So saying, he ordered Sancho to give
+them to Mr. Peter; who answered in the name of the ape, ‘Signior, this
+animal gives no response or intelligence concerning what is to come; he
+is only acquainted with the past, and knows something of the
+present.’—‘Rabbit it!’ cried Sancho, ‘I would not give a doit to be told
+of the past; for who knows that better than myself; and to pay for being
+informed of what I know, would be downright folly; but since he knows
+the present, here are my two rials; and tell me, good your apeship, how
+my wife Teresa Panza is at present employed?’ Master Peter refused to
+take the money; saying, ‘I will not receive a premium per advance, until
+it is preceded by service.’ Then clapping his hand twice upon his left
+shoulder, the ape with one skip, leaped upon it, and laying its mouth to
+his ear, began to mow and chatter with great eagerness; having made this
+motion, which continued as long time as one would take in repeating the
+creed, with another skip he leaped upon the ground. Immediately Master
+Peter, with infinite hurry, threw himself on his knees before Don
+Quixote, and hugging his shins, exclaimed, ‘These legs I embrace, as I
+would embrace the pillars of Hercules, O thou celebrated reviver of the
+already forgotten order of knight-errantry! thou never enough to be
+applauded cavalier Don Quixote de La Mancha; the soul of the dejected,
+the prop of the falling, the shield of those that are fallen, the staff
+and comfort of all the unhappy!’ Don Quixote was alarmed, Sancho
+thunderstruck; the scholar surprized, the page confounded, the Braywick
+carrier amazed, the landlord astonished, and, in a word, admiration
+prevailed among all those who heard the words of the shewman; while he
+proceeded, saying, ‘And thou, worthy Sancho Panza, the best squire of
+the bravest knight in the universe, be merry and rejoice; for thine
+agreeable helpmate Teresa is in good health, and this very moment
+employed in dressing a pound of flax; by the same token, there stands at
+her right-hand a broken mouthed pitcher, containing a good sup of wine,
+with which she comforts herself while she is at work.’—‘That I can
+easily believe,’ answered Sancho; ‘for she is a rare one, and if she was
+not a little given to jealousy, I would not exchange her for the
+giantess Andandona, who, as my master says, was a very proper and
+compleat housewife; and truly my Teresa is one of those who will live to
+their heart’s content, even though their heirs pay for it.’
+
+‘I am now convinced,’ said Don Quixote, ‘that he who reads and travels
+much, will see and learn a great deal. This observation I make, because
+no arguments would have been sufficient to persuade me, that there are
+apes in the world endowed with the gift of divination, as I have this
+day seen with my own eyes; for I am the very Don Quixote named by that
+good animal, which, however, has expatiated rather too much in my
+praise; but be that as it may, I give thanks to God, who bestowed upon
+me a mild and compassionate disposition, ever inclined to do good to all
+mankind, and harm to no person whatever.’—‘If I had money,’ said the
+page, ‘I would ask Signior Ape, what will be the success of my present
+perigrination?’ To this hint, Master Peter, who had rose from his
+prostration, replied, ‘I have already told you, that this creature does
+not answer for what is to come; if he did, your want of money would be
+no objection; for, in order to to serve Don Quixote here present, I
+would willingly forfeit all the interested views in the world; and now,
+as in duty bound, I will, for his amusement, set up my shew, and divert
+all the people in the house, without fee or reward.’ The landlord,
+hearing this declaration, was rejoiced beyond measure, and pointed out a
+proper place for the exhibition of his entertainment, which was prepared
+in a twinkling.
+
+Don Quixote was not very well satisfied with the divinations of the ape,
+as he did not think it natural for such an animal to divine, in things
+either past, present, or to come; and, therefore, while Master Peter was
+busy in setting up his shew, he retired, with his squire, to a corner of
+the stable, where they could confer together without being overheard,
+and spoke to this effect: ‘Hark ye, Sancho, I have considered this
+wonderful talent of the ape; and, according to my notion, this same
+Master Peter, its owner, must certainly have made a secret or express
+pact with the devil.’—‘Nay, if it be the devil’s pack,’ answered Sancho,
+‘it must be a very dirty pack; but what signifies such a pack to Master
+Peter?’—‘Sancho,’ replied the knight, ‘you do not understand my meaning;
+what I would say is, that he must certainly have made some concert with
+the devil who hath infused this talent into the ape, by which he gains
+his livelihood; and when he becomes rich, he must yield him his soul,
+which is the aim of that universal enemy of mankind; and what confirms
+me in this opinion, is, that the ape answers no questions but such as
+regard the past and present time: now, the devil’s understanding reaches
+no farther; what is to come he knows only by conjecture, and that not
+always; for it is the attribute of God alone to know times and seasons;
+to him there is neither past nor future, but all things are ever present
+to his eyes. This being the case, as doubtless it is, the ape certainly
+speaks from the inspiration of the devil; and I am surprized it hath not
+been accused and examined by the holy office, which would soon discover
+by virtue of whom it presumes to divine; for surely this ape is no
+astrologer, nor did he or his master ever raise, or were capable of
+raising, those figures called judicial, which are now so common in
+Spain, that every pitiful little hussy, page, and even cobler, has the
+impudence to raise an horoscope, as readily as a knave of trumps, from
+the ground, ruining and disgracing, by their ignorance and falsities,
+the wonderful truth of that noble science. One lady I myself know, who
+having enquired of one of those pretenders, whether a little bitch she
+had would have puppies, how many, and of what colour they would be; Mr.
+Astrologer, after having raised his figure, replied, that the bitch
+would bring forth three puppies, one of a green, another of carnation,
+and a third of a mixed colour, provided the bitch would take the dog
+between the hours of eleven and twelve at noon or night, on Saturday or
+Monday. Notwithstanding this prediction, the bitch died in three days of
+a surfeit; and yet Mr. Figure-caster was still esteemed in the place a
+most infallible astrologer, as almost all those fellows
+are.’—‘Nevertheless,’ answered Sancho, ‘I wish your worship would desire
+Master Peter to ask his ape, if what happened to your worship in the
+cave of Montesinos is really true; as for my own part, begging your
+worship’s pardon, I cannot for the blood of me help thinking it was all
+a flam and a lye, or at least no better than a dream.’—‘It may be so,’
+replied Don Quixote: ‘But I will take thy advice; for truly, I myself
+have some sort of scruples about the matter.’
+
+Here he was interrupted by the arrival of Mr. Peter, who came to tell
+him that the shew was ready, and invite him to come and see it; for it
+would be well worth his trouble. Then the knight imparted his
+sentiments, desiring he would ask the ape whether or not certain
+incidents that happened in the cave of Montesinos, were dreams or
+realities, for to him the whole seemed to be a mixture of both, Master
+Peter, without answering one word, went and brought the ape into the
+presence of Don Quixote and Sancho, and thus accosted it: ‘Look ye, Mr.
+Ape, this knight wants to know, whether certain things that happened to
+him in a place called the cave of Montesinos be true or false.’ Then
+making the usual signal, the creature leaped upon his left-shoulder, and
+seemingly whispered something in his ear. In consequence of this
+communication, ‘The ape,’ said Master Peter, ‘declares, that part of
+what your worship saw and underwent in that same cave is false, and part
+is likely to be true; and this, and nothing else, is all he knows
+touching that interrogation: but if your worship desires to be farther
+informed he will next Friday answer all the questions you can ask; at
+present his virtue has left him, and will not return till Friday, as I
+have already observed.’—‘Signior,’ said Sancho to his master, ‘did not I
+always affirm your worship should never make me believe that all, or
+even the half of those accidents you pretended to have met with in the
+cave was true?’—‘The event will shew,’ answered Don Quixote; ‘for there
+is nothing that time, the discoverer of all things, will not bring to
+light, even though it should be hidden in the bowels of the earth. Let
+that suffice for the present; and now we will go and see the puppet-shew
+of honest Master Peter, which I really believe will be productive of
+some novelty.’—‘Of some!’ cried master Peter: ‘my shew is productive of
+sixty thousand. Why, I tell your worship, Signior Don Quixote, there is
+nothing equal to it in the whole world; but, _Operibus credite & non
+verbis_: let us begin presently; for it grows late, and we have a great
+deal to do, to say, and to shew.’
+
+In consequence of this request, Don Quixote and Sancho repaired to the
+place where the puppet-shew was set up, and set forth with a great
+number of little wax-lights, which made a most resplendent appearance.
+Master Peter withdrew within the curtain, in order to play the figures
+of the piece; and on the outside sat a boy, who was his servant, to
+interpret and explain the mysteries of the shew, holding a wand, with
+which he pointed out the puppets as they entered. All the people of the
+inn being seated, some fronting the stage, and Don Quixote with Sancho,
+the page and the scholar, accommodated with the best places, the
+dragoman began to pronounce that which will be heard and seen by those
+who will take the trouble to read or peruse the following chapter.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IX.
+ IN WHICH IS CONTINUED THE DIVERTING ADVENTURE OF THE PUPPET-SHEW;
+ WITH OTHER MATTERS REALLY ENTERTAINING ENOUGH.
+
+
+Universal silence prevailed among Tyrians as well as Trojans; that is,
+all the spectators of the shew sat in silent expectation, suspended as
+it were on the mouth of him who was appointed to expound the wonders of
+the piece; when their ears were saluted with the sound of attabals,
+trumpets, and artillery, that issued from behind the scene; and this
+noise being soon over, the boy thus began in an audible voice: ‘This
+true history, which will now be represented before the honourable
+company, is literally extracted from the French chronicles and Spanish
+ballads, which may be heard every day repeated in the streets by man,
+woman, and child. It exhibits the manner in which Signior Don Gayferos
+accomplished the deliverance of his spouse Melisendra, who was a captive
+in Spain, detained by the Moors in the city of Sansuenna, which was
+formerly the name given to what we now call Saragossa; and pray,
+gentlemen, take notice, Don Gayferos is playing at tables, according to
+the old song:
+
+ ‘“Now Gayferos, at tables playing,
+ Of Melisendra thinks no more.”
+
+‘And that personage who next appears, with a crown on his head and a
+sceptre in his hand, is the emperor Charlemagne, the supposed father of
+Melisendra, who, vexed at the indolence and carelessness of his
+son-in-law, comes forth to chide him; and observe with what vehemence
+and keenness he seems to scold; one would imagine he intended to give
+him half a dozen raps on the pate with his sceptre; nay, some authors
+say that he actually did bestow them, aye, and that with very good-will:
+after having said abundance of things concerning the risk his honour
+would run, if he did not effect the deliverance of his spouse, he is
+reported to have added these words, “I have said enough, look to it.”
+Behold, gentlemen, how the emperor turns about and walks off, leaving
+Don Gayferos in a fume, who, in the impatience of his anger, throws away
+the tablet and pieces, and calls hastily for his armour, desiring his
+cousin Orlando to lend him his sword Durindana. Don Orlando will not
+comply with his request; but offers to attend him in his difficult
+enterprize: however, the provoked hero will not accept of his offer; on
+the contrary, he says his own single arm is sufficient to deliver his
+wife, even though she were concealed in the profoundest centre of the
+earth. So saying, he goes in to arm, that he may be able to set out with
+all expedition. Gentlemen, turn your eyes to the tower that appears
+yonder, and suppose it one of the towers belonging to the castle of
+Saragossa, now called Aljaferia. That lady who stands in the balcony in
+the Moorish dress is the peerless Melisendra, who from thence hath often
+cast her longing eyes towards the road to France, and consoled herself
+in her captivity, by thinking on the city of Paris and her valiant lord.
+Observe likewise a new incident, the like of which perhaps you have
+never seen before: don’t you see that Moor stealing along silently and
+softly, step by step, with his finger on his mouth, behind Melisendra?
+Now mind how he prints a kiss in the very middle of her lips, and with
+what eagerness she spits, and wipes them with the sleeves of her shift,
+lamenting aloud, and tearing, for anger, her beautiful hair, as if it
+had been guilty of the transgression. Behold, now, that venerable Moor
+in yon gallery; he is Marsilius, the king of Sansuenna, who, having
+perceived the insolence of the Moor, although he was his own relation,
+and a great favourite, orders him to be apprehended, and carried through
+the principal streets of the city, with the criers before, and the rods
+behind, with which he is to receive two hundred stripes; and here you
+shall see the sentence executed, almost as soon as the crime is
+committed; for among the Moors there is no copy of a writ, trial, or
+delay, as in our courts of justice.’
+
+Here Don Quixote interposing, said, with a loud voice, ‘Boy, boy, follow
+your story in a right line, without falling into curves and crosses; for
+there is not so much proof and counter-proof required to bring truth to
+light.’—‘Sirrah,’ cried Mr. Peter, from the curtain, ‘none of your
+vagaries, but follow that gentleman’s counsel, which is good and
+wholesome; sing your plain song, without counterpoints; for you may spin
+your thread so fine as to break it.’—‘I shall obey your orders,’
+answered the boy, who proceeded, saying—
+
+‘That there figure a horseback, wrapped up in a cloak of Gascony, is the
+very individual Don Gayferos, to whom his only lady, by this time
+revenged of the presumptuous and enamoured Moor, talks with more seeming
+composure from the battlements of the tower, supposing him to be some
+traveller, and between the two passeth the whole discourse and
+conversation, recorded in the ballad, which says,
+
+ ‘“Sir knight, if you to France do go,
+ For Gayferos enquire:”
+
+‘together with what follows, which I shall not at present repeat,
+because prolixity engenders disgust. Let it suffice that you see how
+Gayferos discovers himself, and that we learn from the joyful gestures
+of Melisendra, that she recognizes her husband; especially as we now see
+her let herself down from the balcony, in order to get a-horseback
+behind her loving spouse; but as ill luck would have it, the border of
+her under petticoat has caught hold of one of the iron spikes of the
+balcony, and there she hangs dangling, without being able to reach the
+ground: but you see how compassionate Heaven brings relief in the most
+pressing emergencies; for Don Gayferos comes to her assistance, and
+without minding whether or not the rich petticoat may be torn, seizes
+his lady, and by main force brings her to the ground; then with one
+jerk, sets her upon the crupper of his horse, astride like a man,
+bidding her hold fast, and throw her arms around his neck, so as to
+cross them on his breast, that she may be in no danger of falling; for
+my Lady Melisendra was not used to ride in that manner: you likewise
+perceive how the horse, by his neighing, expresses the satisfaction he
+feels in carrying the valiant and beautiful burden of his lord and
+mistress. You see how they turn about, and quitting the city, take the
+road to Paris, with equal eagerness and joy. Go in peace, ye peerless
+pair of faithful lovers; may you arrive in safety at your desired
+country, without fortune’s raising any obstruction to your happy
+journey; and may the eyes of your friends and kindred behold you enjoy
+in peace all the days of your life, which I hope will exceed the age of
+Nestor!’ Here Mr. Peter interposing again, called aloud, ‘None of your
+flourishes, sirrah; seek not to entangle yourself, for all affectation
+is naught.’ The interpreter, without answering a syllable, went on in
+this manner. ‘There were not wanting some idle eyes which nothing can
+escape, and they, perceiving the descent and flight of Melisendra, gave
+notice of it to king Marsilio, who straight gave orders for sounding to
+arms: and behold the hurry and commotion of the city, occasioned by the
+sound of bells that ring in every minaret.’
+
+‘It cannot be,’ cried Don Quixote. ‘In what regards the bells, Mr. Peter
+is guilty of an impropriety; for the Moors use no bells, but attabals or
+kettle-drums, and a kind of dulcimers, like those belonging to our
+waits; so that the circumstance of ringing bells in Sansuenna is a
+downright absurdity.’ Mr. Peter hearing this observation, left off
+ringing and answered, ‘Signior Don Quixote, your worship must not mind
+such trifles, nor seek for that perfection which is not to be found. How
+many plays do you see every day represented, full of impropriety and
+absurdities? yet they happily run their career, and are heard, not
+simply with applause, but even with universal admiration. Proceed, boy,
+and let people talk; for, provided I fill my pocket, I don’t care if
+there should be more improprieties than there are atoms in the
+sun.’—‘You are in the right,’ replied the knight; and thus the boy went
+on:
+
+‘Behold what a number of resplendent cavalry marches out of the city in
+pursuit of the two catholick lovers: what a sound of trumpets, tinkling
+of dulcimers, and rattling of drums and kettle-drums! I am afraid they
+will overtake and bring them back tied to their horse’s tail, and that
+would be a most dismal spectacle.’
+
+Don Quixote seeing such a number of Moors, and hearing this uproar,
+thought it was incumbent upon him to assist the fugitives; and therefore
+starting up, he pronounced with a loud voice, ‘Never, while I breathe,
+will I consent that such an injury should be done in my presence to a
+knight so famous, daring, and enamoured, as is Don Gayferos: desist, ye
+base-born plebeians; seek not to follow and punish him, but face me in
+battle, if you dare.’ With these words and actions he unsheathed his
+sword, and springing up to the puppet shew, began with incredible
+agility and fury to lay about him among the Moorish puppets, demolishing
+some, beheading others, maiming this, and hacking that; and in the
+course of this exercise, he fetched such a back-stroke, that had not Mr.
+Peter stooped and squatted down with great expedition, he would have
+sliced off his head as easily as if it had been made of ginger-bread.
+This unfortunate shew-man exalting his voice, ‘Hold, for the love of
+God! Signior Don Quixote,’ said he, ‘and take notice, that those whom
+you overthrow, kill and destroy, are not real Moors, but poor, harmless,
+little figures of paste; consider, sinner that I am! you are ruining me,
+by depriving me of my livelihood.’ Notwithstanding this remonstrance,
+the knight continued to play away in a perfect shower of back-strokes,
+fore strokes, outside and inside, that fell as thick as hail; so that in
+less than a couple of credos, he brought the whole shew to the ground,
+all the tackle and figures being hewed down and dismembered; king
+Marsilio himself sorely wounded, and the crown, together with the head
+of the emperor, cleft in twain. The whole audience was involved in
+confusion; the ape fled to the roof of the house, the scholar trembled,
+the page was seized with consternation, and Sancho Panza himself
+overwhelmed with terror and dismay; for, as he swore after the hurricane
+subsided, he had never before seen his master in such a frantick rage.
+
+The puppet-shew being thus entirely demolished, Don Quixote became a
+little more composed, saying, ‘I wish I had before me, at this very
+moment, those who either do not, or will not believe that knights-errant
+are of any benefit or service to mankind, that they might see what would
+have become of the worthy Don Gayferos, and the beautiful Melisendra,
+had not I been present on this occasion; certainly, by this time, they
+would have been overtaken by these dogs, who would have done them some
+grievous injury: let knight-errantry, therefore, live and flourish above
+all things upon the face of the earth.’—‘In a happy hour let it live,’
+cried Mr. Peter in a languid tone, ‘and let me die, who am so
+unfortunate, that I may say with king Rodrigo, “Yesterday I was lord of
+Spain, and now there is not one battlement I can call my own.” Half an
+hour, yea not half a minute is elapsed, since I saw myself in possession
+of kings and emperors; my stables, coffers, and bags, were filled with
+an infinite number of horses and other gay particulars, and now I find
+myself quite desolate and abased, poor and beggarly, and, which is worst
+of all, deprived of my ape, who in good faith will make my teeth sweat,
+before he returns to me his lawful master; and all this misfortune I
+have suffered from this here Sir Knight, who is said to protect orphans,
+rectify wrongs, and perform other charitable actions; but, in me alone,
+his generous intention has failed; blessed and praised be the highest
+Heavens above! In a word, the Knight of the Rueful Figure is he by whom
+I and mine are disfigured and undone.’
+
+Sancho Panza melted at this piteous lamentation: ‘Do not weep, Mr.
+Peter,’ said he, ‘do not whine so piteously, or thou’lt break my heart,
+for I’d have thee know, my master Don Quixote is such a catholick and
+scrupulous Christian, that provided he be convinced of having done thee
+wrong, he knows how to make amends, and will satisfy and repay thee with
+double interest.’—‘If Signior Don Quixote,’ replied the shew-man, ‘will
+make some atonement for the deeds by which he has undone me, I shall
+rest satisfied, and his worship’s conscience will be at peace; for that
+man cannot expect salvation who withholds the effects of his neighbour
+against his will, and refuses to make restitution.’—‘You are in the
+right,’ said Don Quixote; ‘but as yet I do not know that I withhold any
+of your effects, Mr. Peter.’—‘How! none of mine?’ cried the shew-man,
+‘and these unfortunate remains that lie extended on the hard and barren
+pavement, were they not thus scattered and annihilated by the invincible
+force of that redoubted arm? to whom but me did their unhappy bodies
+belong? and with what but them did I procure a comfortable
+subsistence?’—‘Now,’ cried Don Quixote, ‘I am fully convinced of what I
+have on divers occasions believed; namely, that those inchanters, by
+whom I am persecuted, take pleasure in presenting realities to my view,
+and then changing and metamorphosing them into such figures and forms as
+they chuse to bestow: believe me, gentlemen, to me every thing that has
+passed appeared a true and literal concurrence of real facts; and the
+figures represented seemed to be really and truly the very individual
+persons of Melisendra, Don Gayferos, Marsilio, and Charlemagne: in
+consequence of that belief, my wrath was provoked; and, in order to
+fulfil the function of a knight-errant, I resolved to favour and assist
+the fair fugitive; in the execution of which resolve, I have done what
+you see. If the exploit has turned out contrary to my expectation, the
+blame ought not to lie with me, but with those miscreants, by whom I am
+persecuted: nevertheless, as I have committed an error, although it did
+not proceed from malice aforethought, I stand by my own award condemned
+in costs; let Mr. Peter make out his own bill of the figures that are
+demolished, and I promise it shall be paid on the spot, in good and
+lawful current coin of this kingdom.’ The shew-man hearing this
+declaration, made a profound bow, saying, ‘I expected no less from the
+unheard-of Christianity of the valiant Don Quixote de La Mancha, the
+unflinching auxiliary and support of the whole tribe of needy and
+forlorn vagabonds: Mr. Landlord and the great Sancho shall act as
+moderators and appraisers between your worship and me, with regard to
+what the injured figures are or might be worth.’
+
+The innkeeper and squire having undertaken this office, Mr. Peter lifted
+up the headless Marsilio king of Saragossa, saying, ‘You see how
+impossible it is to reinstate the king in his former situation; and,
+therefore, with submission to better judgments, I think I must be
+allowed four rials and an half, on account of his death and final
+perdition.’ The knight desiring him to proceed, ‘Then,’ said he, ‘for
+this dreadful gash from top to bottom,’ (taking up the cloven emperor
+Charlemagne) ‘I cannot be thought exorbitant, if I demand five rials and
+a quarter.’—‘That’s no small matter,’ said Sancho. ‘Nor a great deal too
+much,’ replied the landlord. ‘Split the difference, and set him down at
+five rials.’—‘Let him have the whole five and a quarter,’ said Don
+Quixote; ‘for in such a notable misfortune, a quarter more or less is a
+mere trifle. And pray, dispatch, Mr. Peter, for it is now supper-time,
+and I begin to feel some symptoms of a keen appetite.’—‘For that figure
+without a nose, and deprived of one eye, which is the beautiful
+Melisendra,’ proceeded Peter, ‘I demand two rials and twelve
+maravedis.’—‘The devil’s in’t,’ cried the knight, ‘if Melisendra is not
+by this time, with her husband, at least upon the frontiers of France;
+for the horse on which they were mounted, seemed to fly rather than
+tread the ground; so that there is no reason for your selling me a cat
+instead of a coney; that is, in presenting me with a noseless
+Melisendra, when, in all probability, that lady is now enjoying herself
+at leisure with her husband in France. God give every man joy of his
+own, Mr. Peter, and let us all endeavour to walk tightly and rightly!
+and now you may proceed.’ Mr. Peter perceiving Don Quixote beginning to
+warp and return to his old bias, resolved to be even with him, and with
+that view said, ‘This cannot be Melisendra, but must be one of her
+waiting-women, for whom I shall think myself very well paid, and rest
+satisfied with threescore maravedis.’ In the same manner did he set
+prices on many other maimed figures, so that, after they were moderated
+by the two arbitrators to the satisfaction of both parties, the whole
+sum amounted to forty rials and three quarters, which being disbursed by
+Sancho, Mr. Peter demanded another brace of rials for the trouble he
+should have in catching the ape. ‘Let him have them, Sancho,’ said Don
+Quixote, ‘not for catching the ape but the juice of the grape[161]; and
+I would now give two hundred as a reward to any person who would certify
+that the Lady Donna Melisendra, and her lord Don Gayferos, are now safe
+among their friends in France.’—‘No person upon earth can resolve that
+question sooner or better than my ape,’ replied Mr. Peter; ‘but the
+devil himself cannot catch him at present, though I imagine hunger and
+affection will compel him to return to me some time to-night; and if God
+will send us a new day, we shall see what can be done.’ In time, the
+hurricane of the puppet-shew being quite blown over, the whole company
+supped together in peace and good fellowship, at the expence of Don
+Quixote, who was liberal to excess.
+
+Before day-break, the lance and halbert carrier set out for his village,
+and early in the morning the scholar and the page came to take their
+leave of Don Quixote, the first intending to return to his own home, and
+the other to pursue his journey, for the comfort of which the knight
+made him a present of a dozen rials. Mr. Peter, having no inclination to
+re-involve himself in any sort of dispute with Don Quixote, to whose
+disposition he was no stranger, arose before the sun, and packing up the
+remains of his puppets, together with his ape, sallied forth also in
+quest of farther adventures. The innkeeper, who knew not Don Quixote,
+was equally astonished at his madness and liberality. Finally, Sancho
+paid him handsomely, by his master’s order, and the two bidding him
+farewel about eight o’clock in the morning, left the inn, and betook
+themselves to the road, in which we will leave them, having now a proper
+opportunity to recount other incidents appertaining and necessary to the
+illustration of this famous history.
+
+Footnote 161:
+
+ In the original there is a miserable pun upon the words Mono and Mona,
+ the first of which signifies an ape, and the other drunkenness.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. X.
+ IN WHICH THE READER WILL DISCOVER WHO
+ MR. PETER AND HIS APE WERE—TOGETHER WITH
+ DON QUIXOTE’S BAD SUCCESS IN THE BRAYING ADVENTURE,
+ WHICH DID NOT AT ALL TURN OUT ACCORDING TO HIS WISH AND EXPECTATION.
+
+
+Cid Hamet, author of this sublime history, begins this chapter with
+these words: ‘I swear, as a Catholick Christian:’ and upon this
+occasion, the translator observes, that Cid Hamet being a Moor, as he
+certainly was, in swearing as a Catholick Christian, means no more than
+that, as a Catholick Christian, when he makes oath, swears he will speak
+the truth, and nothing but the truth, in like manner he would adhere to
+it, as a Catholick Christian adheres to his oath, in what he intended to
+write concerning Don Quixote, especially in disclosing the mystery of
+Mr. Peter and the fortune-telling ape, whose talent attracted the
+admiration of all that country. He then proceeds to observe, that he who
+has read the first part of this history, cannot but remember that same
+Gines de Passamonte, whom, together with his fellow-slaves, Don Quixote
+set at liberty near the Brown Mountain; a benefit for which he was ill
+thanked, and worse requited, by that mischievous and immoral crew. This
+Gines de Passamonte, whom Don Quixote called Ginesillo de Parapilla, was
+the very thief who stole Sancho’s Dapple; and as, through the fault of
+the printers, neither the time nor the manner of that conveyance is
+described, in the first part of the book, many people ascribed this
+error of the press to want of memory in the author: but, in short,
+stolen he was, by Gines, even while Sancho was sitting sleeping on his
+back, by means of the same contrivance and expedient that was used by
+Brunelo, who, while Sacripante lay at Albraça, withdrew his horse from
+between his legs; and Sancho afterwards retrieved him, as we have
+already related. Gines, then, afraid of being overtaken by justice, that
+was in quest of him, to chastise him for his numberless tricks and
+transgressions, which were so manifold and remarkable as to fill a large
+volume of his own composing, resolved to remove himself into the kingdom
+of Arragon, to cover his left eye with a patch, and profess the
+occupation of playing puppets, and performing tricks of legerdemain,
+which he understood to great perfection; he afterwards happened to fall
+in company with some Christians just delivered from bondage in Barbary,
+of whom he purchased that ape, which he taught to leap upon his
+shoulder, at a certain signal, and whisper, or seem to whisper in his
+ear. Having so far succeeded, before he entered any place with his
+puppet-shew and ape, he took care to inform himself at the next village,
+or of any person whom he could conveniently pump, of the particular
+accidents that had happened at that place, with all their circumstances,
+which he retained by dint of a tenacious memory. The first thing he did,
+was to represent his puppet-shew, the subject of which he extracted
+sometimes from one story, and sometimes from another; but it was always
+full of mirth and entertainment, and well known; and this being ended,
+he propounded the talents of his ape; telling the audience that he could
+disclose the past and present; but with regard to the future, he
+pretended to no knowledge: for every response he demanded two rials,
+though sometimes he afforded them cheaper, just as he felt the pulse of
+his consulters; and as he sometimes came to families, the anecdotes of
+which he knew, even though they would spend no money upon questions, he
+would make the signal to the ape, and then say he had communicated this
+and that circumstance, which tallied exactly with what had really
+happened. By these means he acquired the credit of infallibility, and
+drew the whole country after him; at other times, as he had abundance of
+cunning and penetration, he would answer in such a manner, that the
+responses agreed perfectly well with the questions; and there being
+nobody to hamper him, by enquiring and sifting into the bottom of this
+pretended divination of the monkey, he found means to make monkeys of
+all his followers, and fill his bags at the same time. As soon as he
+entered the inn, he knew Don Quixote and Sancho, and this recognition
+enabled him to excite the admiration of the knight, squire, and all the
+by-standers: but his art would have cost him dear, had Don Quixote
+lowered his hand a little, when he decapitated king Marsilio, and
+destroyed his whole cavalry, as we have related that adventure in the
+preceding chapter.
+
+[Illustration: Don Quixote Meets the Soldiers.]
+
+So much for Mr. Peter and his ape; and now returning to Don Quixote de
+La Mancha, we must observe, that after having departed from the inn, he
+resolved, in the first place, to visit the banks of the river Ebro, and
+all the circumjacent country, before he should enter the city of
+Saragossa, as the length of time between this period and the tournaments
+permitted him to make such an excursion. With this resolution he
+proceeded in the road, through which he travelled two days, without
+encountering any thing worth relating, until on the third, as he
+ascended a rising ground, his ears were saluted with a mighty noise of
+kettle-drums, trumpets, and muskets, which he at first imagined might
+proceed from some company of soldiers marching that way; in order,
+therefore, to view them, he spurred up Rozinante, and when he reached
+the top of the rising ground, saw below, as near as he could guess,
+above two hundred men, equipped with different kinds of arms, such as
+lances, cross-bows, partisans, halberts, pikes, a few muskets, and a
+great number of targets. He rode down the hill, and drew so near this
+squadron, that he could distinguish their colours, and observe their
+devices, particularly a banner or pendant of white sattin, on which was
+painted to the life, an ass of the small Sardinian breed, with his head
+raised, his mouth open, and his tongue lolling out as if in the very act
+and attitude of braying, and surrounded by this motto, in capital
+letters—
+
+ ‘It is no children’s play,
+ When brother bailiffs bray.’
+
+From this symbol Don Quixote gathered, that those people belonged to the
+village of Braywick; and this discovery he communicated to Sancho, whom
+he likewise made acquainted with the motto of the standard; observing,
+at the same time, that he, by whom they were informed of the adventure,
+had committed a mistake, in saying the brayers were aldermen; for,
+according to this couplet, they must have been bailiffs. To this
+observation, Sancho replied, ‘Signior, in that circumstance, there is
+nothing to be mended; for those who were aldermen when they brayed,
+might very well in time come to be bailiffs of the corporation,
+consequently they may be mentioned with both titles; especially as it is
+of small signification to the truth of the story, whether the brayers
+were aldermen or bailiffs, provided they really conjunctly and severally
+did bray, for a bailiff is as likely to bray as an alderman.’
+
+Finally, conjecturing and understanding that the people who were
+ridiculed had come forth to fight those who had ridiculed them, and
+carried the joke beyond the bounds of reason and good neighbourhood, Don
+Quixote approached their line of battle, to the no small chagrin of
+Sancho, who was never fond of interposing on such occasions; and they
+were immediately received by the whole squadron, who believed the knight
+was come to espouse their quarrel. Then Don Quixote lifting up his
+visor, with graceful ease and courteous demeanour, advanced to the
+standard of the ass, where he was environed by the chiefs of the army,
+who gazed at him with that admiration incident to all those who beheld
+him for the first time. The knight perceiving them looking at him so
+attentively, without speaking or asking any question, resolved to take
+advantage of their silence, and breaking his own, began in this manner,
+with an audible voice, ‘Worthy gentlemen, I beg, in the most earnest
+manner, that you will not interrupt a discourse I intend to make until
+you perceive it becomes insipid and disgusting; in which case, I will,
+upon the least sign, put a seal upon my lips, and a gag upon my tongue.’
+
+All the spectators assured him, he might say what he pleased, and they
+would willingly give him the hearing; so that, thus licensed, he
+proceeded to this effect: ‘I, gentlemen, am a knight-errant, whose
+exercise is that of arms, and whose profession is to assist the needy,
+and favour those who want favour and protection. Some days ago I was
+informed of your disgrace, and the motives which have induced you to arm
+at every turn, in order to take vengeance on your enemies: and having
+once and again revolved your affairs in my mind, I find that, according
+to the laws of duel, you are in the wrong to suppose yourselves
+affronted: for no individual can affront a whole community, unless they
+are accused of treason by the lump, because the person guilty of the
+said treason is not known, consequently cannot be challenged by himself.
+Of this practice, we have an instance in Don Diego Ordonnez de Lara, who
+challenged the whole town of Zamorano, because he did not know that
+Velido Dolfos alone was the traitor who had slain his king; he therefore
+defied the whole body of inhabitants, and to the whole body of them did
+the answer and revenge belong: though, indeed, Signior Don Diego
+bordered upon extravagance, and exceeded the bounds of defiance; for he
+had not sufficient reason to challenge the dead, the water and the
+bread, or those who were yet unborn, as well as other minute matters
+therein set forth: but let that pass. When choler once is born, the
+tongue all curb doth scorn[162]; I mean, a bridle to restrain it. This
+being the case, then, that one single person cannot affront an entire
+kingdom, province, city, society, or corporation, it plainly appears,
+that you have no just cause to come forth, in order to take vengeance
+for that which was not really an affront: for it would be a good joke,
+indeed, if the inhabitants of a town called Clockwell, should take it in
+their heads, at every turn, to slay every person that might ask, “What
+is’t o’clock[163]?” Or if the cheesemongers, fruiterers,
+whalebone-sellers, soap-boilers, and those of other names and
+appellations that are in the mouth of every boy, and hacknied among the
+vulgar; I say, it would surely be a good joke, if all those people, who
+are distinguished by their different callings, should be ashamed and
+incensed at such simple provocations, and be always making sacbuts of
+their swords, in every trifling quarrel: no, no; God neither likes, nor
+will suffer such unjustifiable revenge. Prudent men, and well-ordered
+commonwealths, ought to take up arms, unsheathe their swords, and risque
+their persons, lives, and fortunes, for four causes only: Firstly, to
+defend the Catholick faith; secondly, in self-defence, which is
+justified by the laws of God and nature; thirdly, in behalf of one’s
+honour, family, and fortune; and fourthly, in the service of his
+majesty, when he is engaged in a just war: and if we should add a fifth
+cause (which, indeed, ought to be ranked as a second) it is the defence
+of one’s country. To these principle causes may be annexed some others,
+both just and reasonable, which may oblige us to have recourse to arms;
+but to take them up for childish trifles, and things that are rather
+subjects of laughter and diversion than of serious revenge, seems to
+denote a total defect of reason and discretion; especially as unjust
+vengeance (and surely no vengeance can be just) is diametrically
+opposite to that holy law we profess, by which we are enjoined to do
+good to our enemies, and love those by whom we are abhorred: a command
+which, though seemingly difficult, is not really hard to be observed,
+except by those who have less of God than of this world, and more of the
+flesh than of the Spirit; for Jesus Christ, the true God and true man,
+who never lyed, who neither was nor is capable of falshood, as being our
+eternal Lawgiver, tells us, that his yoke is easy, and his burden is
+light: therefore, he would not impose a command which we could not
+possibly fulfil; and consequently, good gentlemen, you are obliged by
+laws divine and human, to be appeased.’
+
+At his period, Sancho said within himself, ‘The devil run away with me,
+if this master of mine is not a downright theologister! at least, if he
+is not, no two eggs were ever more alike.’ Don Quixote having taken
+breath a little, and finding the audience still attentive, was inclined
+to prosecute his harangue, and would certainly have pursued the subject,
+had not he been prevented by the archness of Sancho, who, during his
+master’s pause, took it in hand, saying, ‘My master, Don Quixote de La
+Mancha, who, at one time, went by the name of the Knight of the Rueful
+Countenance, but is at present called the Knight of the Lions, is a very
+learned gentleman, that understands Latin and Castilian like a perfect
+batchelor of arts. In all his sermons and exhortations, he proceeds like
+a very able soldier, as having all the laws and ordinances of what you
+call duel, at his finger’s end; therefore, you have no more to do but
+let yourselves be guided by his counsel; and if you go wrong, the blame
+shall lie upon my shoulders; especially, as he hath already told you
+that it is mere madness to be angry without any cause but that of a
+man’s braying. I remember, when I was a boy, I brayed whensoever and
+wheresoever I pleased, without lett or molestation; aye, and so prettily
+and naturally, that I was always answered by all the asses of the
+common; yet, for all that, I did not cease to be the son of my parents,
+who were most worthy people; and though, for this talent, I was envied
+by more than enow of the gravest folks in the parish, I valued not their
+envy two farthings: and, that you may see I speak nothing but the truth,
+wait a little, and give me the hearing; for the art of braying is like
+that of swimming, which, when once learned, is never forgot.’
+
+So saying, he clapped his fingers to his nostrils, and began to bray so
+stoutly, that all the neighbouring vallies re-echoed the sound. But one
+of those who stood next him, supposing the squire made himself merry at
+their expence, lifted up a pole that was in his hand, and bestowed it
+upon him with such good will, that Sancho, in spite of his efforts, came
+to the ground.
+
+Don Quixote, seeing his squire so roughly handled, attacked the
+aggressor lance in hand; but such a number of people interposed, that he
+found it impossible to take vengeance: on the contrary, perceiving a
+cloud of stones ready to pour upon him, and being threatened by a vast
+number of presented cross-bows and muskets, he wheeled Rozinante about,
+and galloped off as fast as the steed could carry him; recommending
+himself heartily to the protection of God, that he might be delivered
+from that danger; and in the apprehension that some ball would enter at
+his shoulder, and make its exit through his breast, he held in his
+breath, at every step, in order to know whether or not he was wounded.
+But those who composed the squadron, being satisfied with his flight,
+did not shoot after him; and as for Sancho, they laid him across upon
+his beast, as soon as he recovered the use of his senses, and allowed
+him to follow his master; not that he was able to manage the ass; but
+Dapple followed the footsteps of Rozinante, from whom he could not bear
+to be parted, though but for a moment. The knight having rode a good
+way, turned his horse’s head, and seeing Sancho following, waited for
+his coming up, as he perceived nobody attempted to pursue him.
+
+The warriors of Braywick kept their ground till night, and as their
+adversaries did not think proper to give them battle, returned to their
+own town with joy and satisfaction; and had they known the ancient
+custom of the Greeks, they would have erected a trophy on the spot.
+
+Footnote 162:
+
+ Literally, ‘When choler quits the mother, the tongue has then no
+ father.’
+
+Footnote 163:
+
+ I have ventured to deviate a little from the precise meaning of the
+ original, which the reader will own to be very insipid when he reads
+ the literal translation: ‘For it would be good, if the inhabitants of
+ the town of Reloxa,’ (signifying a watch, or clock) ‘should, at every
+ turn, slay those that call them so.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XI.
+ OF THINGS RELATED BY BENENGELI, WHICH HE WHO READS THEM ATTENTIVELY,
+ WILL KNOW.
+
+
+When a brave man flies, he must have discovered some odds or foul play;
+and it is the business of prudent captains, to reserve themselves for
+better occasions. This maxim was verified in Don Quixote, who, by giving
+way to popular fury, and the evil intention of that incensed squadron,
+took to his heels, and without paying the least regard to Sancho, or the
+danger in which he left him, moved off to such a distance as he judged
+sufficient for his own security. He was followed by Sancho lying across
+the ass, as we have already observed, who, by that time he was brought
+up to his master, had just recovered the use of his senses, and fell
+from Dapple at the feet of Rozinante, all battered and bruised, and in
+an agony of pain.
+
+The knight dismounting to search his wounds, no sooner perceived he was
+sound from head to foot, than he thus accosted him in an angry tone: ‘In
+evil hour, you must understand braying, sirrah! Where did you learn it
+was convenient to talk of halters in the house of a man that was hanged?
+To the tenor of braying what bass could you expect but the basting of a
+cudgel? You have reason to thank God that, instead of receiving a
+benediction with a pole, you have not been crossed with a scymitar.’—‘I
+am at present in no condition to answer,’ said Sancho; ‘for methinks I
+talk through my shoulders: let us mount and depart from this place, and
+I shall make an end of my braying; though I shall never be weary of
+telling as how knights-errant run away, and leave their honest squires,
+beaten to chaff and pounded to cinders, in the power of their
+enemies.’—‘There is a wide difference between flying and retreating,’
+answered Don Quixote; ‘for you must know, Sancho, that valour which is
+not founded on the base of discretion, is termed temerity or rashness;
+and the achievements of a rash person ought to be ascribed rather to
+good fortune than courage. I own, therefore, I have retreated, but not
+fled; and in so doing have imitated a great number of valiant chiefs,
+who reserved themselves for more dignified occasions: and of these
+instances histories are full; but I omit rehearsing them at present,
+because the recital would be of no advantage to thee, or entertainment
+to myself.’
+
+By this time, Sancho being set upon his ass again by Don Quixote, who
+likewise mounted Rozinante, they jogged along softly, in order to
+shelter themselves in a grove that appeared at the distance of a quarter
+of a league; and the squire, every now and then heaving up a most
+profound ‘Ah!’ accompanied with piteous groans, his master desired to
+know the cause of such bitter ejaculations. To which question the squire
+replied, that from the extremity of his rump to the nape of his neck, he
+felt such intolerable pain as was like to deprive him of his senses.
+‘The cause of that pain,’ said Don Quixote, ‘must doubtless be this; as
+the pole or staff by which you have suffered was long and large, it
+extended over the whole back, comprehending all those parts that now
+give you pain; and if it had reached still farther, the pain would have
+been more extensive.’—‘’Fore God,’ cried Sancho, ‘your worship has taken
+me out of a huge uncertainty, and resolved the doubt in delicate terms.
+Body o’me! was the cause of my pain so mysterious, that there was a
+necessity for telling me, I feel pain in those parts that were
+cudgelled? Had my shins ached, there might have been some reason for
+guessing at the cause of their aching; but, surely, there is no great
+witchcraft required to tell me that my back aches, because it was
+crossed with a quarter staff! In good faith, Sir Master of mine, Our
+neighbour’s care hangs by a hair. Every day I see more and more how the
+land lies, and how little I have to expect from keeping your worship’s
+company; for if you left me to be cudgelled at this time, we shall, upon
+a hundred different occasions, return to our late blankettings and other
+such toys; and though this misfortune has fallen upon my shoulders, they
+next may light upon my eyes. Abundantly better should I have done, but I
+am such a barbarian, that in all the days of my life, I never did well;
+I say again, abundantly better should I have done, had I returned to my
+house, my wife, and my children, and maintained and brought them up with
+what Providence should please to bestow, rather than fag after your
+worship in this manner, through roadless roads, and pathless paths,
+drinking bad liquor and eating worse food; then, when I come to
+sleep—“Brother squire, measure out seven feet of ground; and if you
+chuse to be more at your ease, take as much more, for the ladle is in
+your own hand, and lay yourself out to your heart’s desire.” Would to
+God I could see the first man who meddled with knight-errantry burnt to
+a cinder; at least the first booby who chose to be squire to such
+wiseacres as all former knights-errant must have been! Of the present, I
+say nothing; as your worship is one of the number, I hold them in
+respect, because I am sensible, that in speeching and understanding, you
+know a point more than the devil himself.’
+
+‘I would venture to lay a good wager, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘that
+now, while you are permitted to speak without the least hindrance, you
+feel no pain in any part of your body. Proceed, child, and out with
+every thing that comes into your head, or tarries at your tongue’s end;
+for, provided you are free from pain, I shall convert into pleasure that
+disgust which proceeds from your folly and impertinence; and if you are
+so much bent upon returning to your house, your wife and your family,
+God forbid that I should oppose your resolution. You have some of my
+money in your hands; recollect how long it is since we set out on this
+my third sally; then reckon what you might and should have earned
+monthly, and be your own paymaster.’—‘When I worked for Thomas Carrasco,
+father of Batchelor Sampson, who is your worship’s acquaintance,’
+answered Sancho, ‘I earned two ducats a month, besides my victuals: with
+your worship I know not what I can earn; though well I know that the
+squire of a knight-errant has a much more troublesome office than that
+of a farmer’s servant; for, in fact, we who serve husbandmen, let us
+work never so hard through the day, and happen what will, have a hot
+supper out of the pot at night, and lie in a good bed, which I have
+never enjoyed since I have been in your worship’s service, except for
+that short space of time that we stayed in the house of Don Diego de
+Miranda; and bating the good cheer I found among the scum of Camacho’s
+kettle, and my eating, drinking, and sleeping, at the habitation of
+Basilius; all the rest of the time I have slept on the hard ground,
+under the cope of heaven, exposed to what you call the inclemencies of
+the weather, living upon cheese-pairings and crusts of bread, and
+drinking cold water, sometimes from the brooks and sometimes from the
+springs we met with in the publick roads through which we travelled.’
+
+‘Allowing,’ said Don Quixote, ‘that all you have mentioned is true, how
+much more do you think I ought to give you than that which you received
+from Thomas Carrasco?’—‘With the addition of two rials a month,’ replied
+Sancho, ‘I shall think myself well paid, that is, with regard to my
+wages; but, as to some satisfaction for your worship’s word and promise
+of making me a governor of an island, methinks it would be but fair and
+honest to add six rials more; and then, altogether will come to
+thirty.’—‘Very well reckoned,’ answered the knight; ‘now, according to
+the tale of wages you have mentioned, calculate fairly and exactly what
+I am indebted to you, for the five and twenty days that are elapsed
+since our departure from our own village, and, as I said before, be your
+own paymaster.’—‘Body o’me!’ cried Sancho, ‘your worship is quite out in
+your reckoning; for in regard to the promise of the island, we must
+compute from the day in which your honour made the said promise to this
+blessed hour.’—‘How long, then, has that same promise been made?’ said
+Don Quixote. ‘If my memory does not fail me,’ answered the squire, ‘it
+must be above twenty years, a few days over or under.’ Here, the knight
+slapping his forehead with his hand, began to laugh heartily, saying,
+‘Why, my stay in the Sierra Morena, with the whole course of our
+peregrinations, has scarce employed two months: and wilt thou say I have
+promised thee that island these twenty years? Now I perceive thy
+intention is to keep, in lieu of wages, all my money that is in thy
+hands; and if that be the case, and thou really lookest upon it with an
+eye of desire, I give thee the whole sum from this moment, and much good
+may it do thee; for, provided I find myself rid of such a wretched
+squire, I shall think myself happy, though poor and pennyless. But, tell
+me, thou prevaricator of all the squirely ordinances of chivalry! where
+hast thou seen or read that any squire of a knight-errant ever presumed
+to bargain with his master touching a certain monthly salary for his
+service? Launch out, launch out! you ruffian, vagabond, and hobgoblin!
+for such you are; launch out, I say, into the _mare magnum_ of chivalry;
+and if you find that any squire ever attempted to say, or even to think,
+what thou hast here uttered, I will give thee leave to nail the passage
+on my forehead, and pinch the sign of the four nipples on my face, by
+way of additional mortification. Turn immediately the reins of the
+halter of your ass, and return to your house, your wife, and your
+family; for one step farther thou shalt not travel with me. O bread
+ill-bestowed! O promise misapplied! O wretch that favoured more of the
+beast than of the man! At this juncture, when I was on the eve of
+raising thee to such a station as would have ennobled thee, even in
+spite of thy wife, thou seekest to leave me! Now thou art going away,
+when I had firmly and unalterably resolved to make thee lord of the best
+island in the universe! In a word, as thou thyself hast observed upon
+other occasions, An ass’s mouth was not made for honey, &c. An ass thou
+art, an ass wilt thou be; aye, and thou wilt die like an ass, when the
+course of thy life is finished; for I am convinced that thy days will
+reach their utmost period, before thou shalt learn and know what a beast
+thou art!’
+
+Sancho looked woefully at his master, while he poured forth these
+reproaches, from which the squire felt such compunction, that the tears
+started in his eyes; and he replied in a faint, whimpering tone, ‘My
+good master, I confess that, in order to be really and truly an ass, I
+want nothing but a tail, which, if your worship will furnish me with, I
+shall think it well bestowed, and serve you as a beast of burden all the
+days of my life. Good your worship, forgive and look upon my green years
+with compassion, and consider that I know very little; and if I speak a
+great deal of nonsense, it does not proceed from malice but infirmity;
+and Those who sin and kiss the rod, find favour in the sight of God.’—‘I
+should have been surprized, Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘if thou hadst not
+seasoned thy discourse with some proverbial expression. Well, then, for
+the present, I forgive thee, in hope of thy amendment, and on condition
+that thou wilt not henceforward betray such a sordid and selfish
+disposition, but endeavour to enlarge thy heart, fortify and encourage
+thy mind, to wait the accomplishment of my promises; which, though it
+may not speedily happen, is nevertheless far from being impossible?’
+Sancho said he would do his endeavour, and follow his advice, even
+though he should gather strength from feebleness.
+
+Then they betook themselves to the covert of the grove, where the knight
+accommodated himself at the root of an elm, and the squire retreated to
+the foot of a beech; for these and other such trees never want feet,
+though they are always destitute of hands. Sancho passed the night in
+great trouble; for the cold air augmented the pain of his bruises;
+whereas, Don Quixote amused himself with his incessant meditations.
+Nevertheless, both master and man gave way to the operations of sleep,
+and at the approach of morn, prosecuted their way to the banks of the
+renowned Ebro, where they were involved in an adventure that will be
+recounted in the succeeding chapter.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XII.
+ OF THE FAMOUS ADVENTURE OF THE INCHANTED BARK.
+
+
+By dint of travelling at a very deliberate pace for the space of two
+days after they quitted the grove, Don Quixote and Sancho arrived at the
+river Ebro, the sight of which afforded infinite pleasure to the knight,
+who eagerly contemplated the amenity of its banks, the transparency of
+its water, the tranquillity of its course, and the abundance of its
+chrystal stream, the joyous prospect of which renewed in his remembrance
+a thousand amorous thoughts, that chiefly turned upon what he had seen
+in the cave of Montesinos; for, although Master Peter’s ape had
+declared, that part of those circumstances was true, and part of them
+false, he inclined more to the belief that they were altogether real;
+while Sancho, on the contrary, looked upon the whole detail as one
+continued lye.
+
+As they jogged on in this manner, their view was saluted by a small
+boat, without oars, or any other tackle, close to the river-side, and
+made fast to a tree that grew on the bank. Don Quixote looking around
+him, without perceiving any living soul, alighted immediately from
+Rozinante, commanding Sancho to quit the back of Dapple, and tie both
+beasts securely to the trunk of a poplar or willow that grew upon the
+spot. When the squire desired to know the cause of this sudden descent
+and ligation, ‘You must know, Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘that this
+vessel is here on purpose, without a possibility of any other design, to
+call and invite me to embark, that I may be conveyed to the succour of
+some knight, or other necessitous personage of high degree, who must
+certainly be involved in some dire disaster; for this is the very spirit
+of books of chivalry, and the practice of those inchanters concerning
+whom they treat, who, when any knight in distress cannot be delivered by
+their art, but solely by the prowess of another errant, though perhaps
+at the distance of two or three thousand leagues or more, they snatch
+him up in a cloud, or provide him with a vessel, in which he embarks,
+and in the twinkling of an eye he is transported either through the air,
+or by sea, to the place where his assistance is required: this bark,
+therefore, O Sancho, is brought hither for the like purpose, as sure as
+it is now day; and before the day be spent, take and secure Dapple and
+Rozinante together, and let us commit ourselves to the direction of God;
+for even the barefooted Carmelites shall not dissuade me from
+embarking.’—‘Since that is the case,’ answered Sancho, ‘and your worship
+is resolved at every turn to plunge into these (I know not whether I
+should call them mad) vagaries, I have nothing to do but bow and obey;
+according to the proverb, If you obey the commands of your lord, you may
+sit as a guest at his board. Nevertheless, in order to disburden my
+confidence, I must give your worship notice, that in my opinion this
+same bark has nothing to do with inchanted people, but belongs to some
+fishermen of this river, in which they catch the best shads in the
+world.’
+
+This remonstrance was made while he tied the cattle, which he could not
+leave to the protection of inchanters, without being grieved to the very
+soul. But the knight exhorted him to banish his anxiety on account of
+the animals, which would be carefully maintained and protected by the
+same sage destined to transport their riders through roads and regions
+of such longitude. ‘I do not understand what you mean by logickhood,’
+said the squire; ‘for I never heard such a word before in the whole
+course of my life.’—‘By longitude I mean, length,’ answered the knight,
+‘but I do not at all wonder that thou shouldst not understand the word;
+for thou art not obliged to be acquainted with the Latin tongue, like
+some arrogant people who pretend to knowledge of which they are entirely
+ignorant.’—‘The beasts are now secured,’ said Sancho, ‘what is next to
+be done?’—‘What!’ replied Don Quixote, ‘but to cross ourselves and weigh
+anchor; I mean to embark, and cut the rope by which the vessel is made
+fast.’
+
+So saying, he leaped on board, whither he was followed by Sancho, and
+the fastening being cut, the boat edged gently off from the bank. The
+squire seeing himself about two fathoms from the shore, began to
+tremble, in the apprehension of perishing; but nothing gave him more
+pain than hearing Dapple raise his voice, and seeing Rozinante struggle
+for his freedom. ‘Now, Dapple,’ said he to his master, ‘brays for grief
+at our departure; and Rozinante strives to get loose, that he may throw
+himself into the water and swim after us!—Farewel, my dearly beloved
+friends, peace be with you, and may the madness that parts us be
+converted and undeceived, that we may be restored to your agreeable
+company.’
+
+Then he began to weep so bitterly, that the knight exclaimed, in a tone
+of rage and vexation, ‘Of what art thou afraid, cowardly miscreant!
+wherefore dost thou weep, thou heart of butter! who persecutes, who
+molests thee, thou soul of a garret-mouse! or what wants dost thou
+suffer, beggarly wretch, rolling as thou art in the very bowels of
+abundance! art thou, peradventure, travelling, barefoot over the Riphean
+mountains! No: seated like an archduke upon a convenient bench, thou art
+softly conveyed by the gentle current of this delicious river, from
+which in a little time we shall launch into the wide and extended ocean:
+but, indeed, we must have already entered the open sea; aye, and sailed
+at least seven or eight hundred leagues; and, if I had here an astrolabe
+to take the elevation of the pole, I would tell thee exactly what way we
+have made; though either I have little skill, or we have already passed,
+or will pass in a very little time, the equinoctial line, that divides
+the globe into two equal parts.’—‘And how far shall we have gone when we
+come to that same line your worship mentions?’ said Sancho. ‘A great
+way,’ replied the knight; ‘for, of three hundred and sixty degrees,
+comprehending the whole terraqueous globe, according to the computation
+of Ptolemy, who was the greatest cosmographer ever known, we shall have
+traversed one half when we reach the equinoctial line.’—‘’Fore God!’
+cried Sancho, ‘your worship has brought a set of rare witnesses to prove
+the truth of what you say, Copulation and Kiss-me-gaffer, with the
+addition of Tool-i’me, or some such name[164].’ Don Quixote laughed at
+Sancho’s blunders, upon the computation of the cosmographer Ptolemy;
+adding, ‘You must know, Sancho, that one of the signs by which those who
+embark at Cadiz for the East Indies, know they have passed the
+equinoctial, is the total destruction of vermin among the passengers and
+seamen: so that not one louse remains alive, or can be had in the whole
+ship, even though you should give its weight in gold; thou mayest
+therefore slip thy hand along thy thigh, Sancho, and if thou canst catch
+any thing alive, our doubt will be resolved; but if there is nothing to
+be found, we must certainly have passed the line.’—‘I can hardly believe
+it,’ answered the squire; ‘but, however, I will do as your worship
+desires; though there is no necessity for trying those experiments; for
+I can see with my own eyes, that we have not moved five yards from the
+bank, no, nor have we driven two yards below the cattle; for there stand
+Rozinante and Dapple, in the very spot where they were left; and taking
+aim as I do now, I vow to God, we do not move or go at the pace of a
+pismire.’—‘Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘perform the investigation I have
+mentioned, and give thyself no trouble about any other circumstance; for
+thou dost not know the meaning of colours, lines, parallels, zodiacks,
+eclipticks, poles, solstices, equinoxes, planets, constellations,
+points, and measures, that compose the spheres celestial and
+terrestrial. Wert thou acquainted with these, or even a part of them,
+thou wouldst distinctly perceive what parallels we have crossed, what
+signs we have seen, and what constellations we have left, and are now
+leaving behind us. I therefore repeat my request, that thou wouldst
+examine and go afishing upon thyself; for I am persuaded thou art clean
+and smooth as a sheet of white paper.’
+
+Sancho, in compliance with his desire, slipped down his hand softly, and
+felt about his left ham; then raising his head, and looking at his
+master, ‘Either the experiment is false,’ said he; ‘or we have not
+reached the place your worship mentioned, by many leagues.’—‘What!’ said
+the knight, ‘hast thou found something?’—‘Aye, more than one something,’
+answered the squire: who snapped his fingers, and afterwards washed them
+in the river, along the current of which the boat glided softly, without
+the assistance of any secret power, or concealed inchanter, being
+conveyed by nothing but the stream, which then ran with a smooth and
+gentle course.
+
+In this manner they proceeded, when they discovered some large mills,
+built in the middle of the river, which Don Quixote no sooner perceived,
+than he addressed himself to Sancho, in an exalted voice: ‘Behold, my
+friend, yonder appears the city, castle, or fortress, that contains some
+oppressed knight-errant, queen, infanta, or princess in distress, for
+whose relief I am brought hither.’—‘What the devil does your worship
+mean by a city, fortress, or castle!’ cried the squire; ‘don’t you see
+these are mills, built in the river, for grinding wheat?’—‘Peace,
+Sancho,’ replied the knight, ‘although they appear to be mills, they are
+in reality edifices of a very different nature: I have already told
+thee, that all things are transformed and changed by the power of
+inchantment; I do not mean that they are really changed in any
+circumstance but appearance, as we have been taught by woeful experience
+in the transformation of Dulcinea, the sole refuge of my hope.’
+
+By this time, the boat being sucked into the middle of the stream, so as
+to move considerably faster than at first, was perceived by the millers,
+who seeing it advancing to the indraught of the wheels, came suddenly
+out in a body, with long poles, to stop its motion; and as their faces
+and cloaths were be-powdered with meal, they made a frightful figure,
+while they exclaimed, with great vociferation, ‘You devils of men! where
+are you going: are you mad; to come and drown yourselves, or be ground
+to pieces by the wheels?’
+
+Don Quixote, hearing this address, ‘Did not I tell thee, Sancho,’ said
+he, ‘that we had arrived at the scene in which I must exert the prowess
+of mine arm? Behold, what felons and assassins come forth to try my
+valour; behold what a number of hobgoblins range themselves against me;
+behold, I say, what horrid physiognomies appear to scare and overawe us;
+but you shall presently see what will happen. Ye ruffians!’ Then,
+starting up, he began to threaten and revile them, exclaiming aloud, ‘Ye
+scum, ye scoundrels, ill-intentioned and worse-advised! release, I
+charge you, and restore to the full fruition of freedom, the person whom
+ye keep confined and oppressed in that fortress or gaol, let him be high
+or low, or of what rank and quality soever he may be; for I am Don
+Quixote de La Mancha, otherwise intitled the Knight of the Lions,
+destined by the appointment of Heaven above, to bring this adventure to
+an happy issue.’
+
+So saying, he unsheathed his sword, and brandished it in the air, in
+defiance of the millers, who hearing this rhapsody without understanding
+it, began to employ their poles, in order to turn aside the boat, which
+by this time had entered the current and canal of the wheels. As for
+Sancho, he fell upon his knees, and prayed devoutly that Heaven would
+deliver him from such imminent danger; and his deliverance was
+accordingly effected by the alertness and dexterity of the millers, who
+pushed back the boat with their poles; yet not without oversetting the
+vessel; so as that the knight and his squire were soused over head and
+ears in the water. It was well for Don Quixote that he could swim like a
+goose; nevertheless, the weight of his armour sunk him twice to the
+bottom, and had not the millers thrown themselves into the river, and
+weighed them up by main strength, it might have been said, ‘Here Troy
+once stood[165].’
+
+They were no sooner dragged ashore, rather drenched than dead of
+drought, than the squire, humbling himself upon his knees, again
+clasping his hands and lifting up his eyes to Heaven, uttered a very
+fervent petition to God, that he might be from thenceforward delivered
+from the frantick projects and mad attempts of his master. This
+ejaculation was scarce finished, when they were joined by the fishermen
+who were owners of the boat, which was crushed to pieces by the
+mill-wheels; and they perceiving the wreck, began to strip Sancho, and
+demand indemnification of his master, who, with great tranquillity, as
+if nothing at all had happened told the millers and fishermen that he
+would pay for the bark with the utmost chearfulness, on condition that
+they would release, without ransom or security, the person or persons
+whom they detained in durance and oppression within the castle.
+
+‘What does the madman mean by persons and castles?’ answered one of the
+millers; ‘wouldst thou carry off the customers that bring grist to our
+mills, forsooth?’—‘Enough,’ said Don Quixote within himself, ‘I might as
+well preach to the desart, as attempt, by intreaties, to prevail upon
+such miscreants to do any virtuous action. In this adventure there must
+certainly be two powerful inchanters engaged on opposite sides, one of
+whom baffles the designs of the other; by one I was provided with a
+bark, and his antagonist overturned me in the water. Lord mend us! the
+world is nothing but a continual warfare of opposite machinations and
+deceit; for my own part, I can do no more.’ Then raising his voice, and
+fixing his eyes upon the mills, ‘Friends,’ cried he, ‘whosoever you are
+who lie confined within that prison, forgive me, that for my misfortune,
+as well as yours, it is not in my power to extricate you from your
+distress; for some other knight the adventure must be reserved.’ Having
+pronounced this apostrophe, he compounded with the fishermen, for whose
+boat he paid fifty rials, which Sancho disbursed with great reluctance,
+saying, ‘Two such boatfuls will sink our whole stock to the bottom.’
+
+The fishermen and millers gazed with admiration at those two figures, so
+different in appearance from other men; and as they could by no means
+understand the meaning and tendency of Don Quixote’s discourse, and the
+questions he asked, they looked upon them as madmen, and went away. The
+millers retreated to their mills; the fishermen betook themselves to
+their cottage; the knight and squire, like beasts, returned to their
+beasts; and thus ended the adventure of the enchanted bark.
+
+Footnote 164:
+
+ As it is altogether impossible, in a translation, literally to
+ preserve the low humour arising from blunders upon words or sounds, I
+ have been obliged to substitute an equivalent jingle, in the room of
+ _puto_, _gafo_ and _meon_, which are Spanish words, signifying, a a
+ _whore_, a _catamite_, and a _piss-a-bed_: so that Sancho, deceived by
+ the affinity of these sounds to _computo_, _cosmographa_, and
+ _Ptolemeo_, thought he had reason to say his master had produced a
+ fair set of evidences.
+
+Footnote 165:
+
+ In allusion to the speech that Virgil puts in the mouth of Panthus
+ Othryades, who says to Æneas,
+
+ ——_fuit Ilium, et ingens_
+ _Gloria Teucrorum!_
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIII.
+ OF WHAT PASSED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE AND A FAIR HUNTRESS.
+
+
+In a melancholy plight did the knight and squire reach the place where
+their cattle stood; indeed, they were both sufficiently out of humour,
+especially Sancho, who was cut to the soul by the incroachment upon
+their capital, which to him was as precious as the apple of his eye. At
+length, they mounted, in the most profound silence, and departed from
+the banks of that famous river; Don Quixote buried as it were amidst the
+meditations of his love, and Sancho immersed in those of his preferment,
+which at that time seemed to be at a weary distance; for maugre all his
+simplicity and folly, he could easily perceive that all, or the greatest
+part of his master’s actions, proceeded from frenzy and distraction; he
+therefore resolved to take an opportunity of retreating abruptly to his
+own house, without expostulation, or the ceremony of taking leave. But
+fortune ordained that things should fall out quite contrary to his
+apprehensions.
+
+Next day, at sun-set, as they came out of a wood, Don Quixote extending
+his view over a delightful green meadow, perceived some people at the
+farther end of it; and as he proceeded, saw they were hawkers:
+approaching still nearer, he observed among them a gay lady, mounted
+upon a palfrey or beautiful pad as white as the driven snow, adorned
+with green furniture and a saddle of silver; the lady was likewise
+dressed in a rich habit of the same colour, as fine as finery itself. On
+her left-hand she carried a hawk, a circumstance from which the knight
+concluded she was some lady of high rank, and mistress of all the rest;
+nor was he mistaken. On this supposition, therefore, he said to his
+squire, ‘Make haste, son Sancho, go and tell that lady of the palfrey
+and hawk, that I, the Knight of the Lions, send my respects to her
+exceeding beauty; and that, with her good leave, I will go and pay my
+compliments in person, and make her a tender of my service to the utmost
+of my power, in whatever she shall please to command; but keep a guard
+upon your tongue, Sancho, and beware of thrusting in some of your
+proverbs, while you deliver my embassy.’—‘To be sure, you have found me
+a deadly thruster,’ answered the squire, ‘that you give me such warning!
+as if this were the first time in my life, that I have carried embassies
+to ladies of high rank and augmentation.’—‘Except that which you carried
+to the Lady Dulcinea,’ said the knight, ‘I do not know that ever you
+carried another; at least while in my service.’—‘That’s true,’ replied
+Sancho, ‘but a good paymaster never wants bail; and a dinner is easily
+got, where there is plenty of meat for the pot: what I mean is, that
+there is no occasion to tell me or advertise me of any thing; for I am
+never out, and have a sort of a smack of every thing.’—‘I believe it,
+Sancho,’ said Don Quixote; ‘go in peace, and God be your guide.’
+
+The squire setting out accordingly, at a good rate, and spurring Dapple
+beyond his natural pace, came up with the fair huntress; then alighting
+and kneeling before her, ‘Beautiful lady,’ said he, ‘yonder knight,
+called the Knight of the Lions, is my master, and I am this squire,
+known at my own home by the name of Sancho Panza; and that same Knight
+of the Lions, though formerly of the Rueful Countenance, sends me to beg
+your grandeur would be pleased to allow him purposely, courteously, and
+consentingly, to come and gratify his desire, which is no other, as he
+says, and I believe, than to serve your exalted beauty and hawkingship;
+and in so doing, your excellency will do a thing that will redound to
+your own advantage, and from which he will receive the most notorious
+honour and satisfaction.’
+
+‘Worthy squire,’ replied the lady, ‘assuredly you have delivered your
+embassy with all the circumstances that such embassies require; pray
+rise, for it is not reasonable, that the squire of such a great
+knight-errant as he of the Rueful Countenance, whose character is well
+known in these parts, should remain in that posture; rise, friend, and
+go tell your master, that he shall be extremely welcome to command the
+services of me and the duke my husband, at our country-house in the
+neighbourhood.’ Sancho arose, equally astonished at the beauty,
+good-breeding, and affability, of this worthy lady: but he was still
+more surprized at what she said concerning the well-known character of
+the Knight of the Rueful Countenance; for if she did not give him the
+appellation of the Lions, it was because he had but lately assumed that
+epithet. ‘Pray, tell me, brother squire,’ said the duchess, whose title
+is not known, ‘is not your master the person whose history is printed
+under the name of the sage Hidalgo Don Quixote de La Mancha, who
+professes himself the admirer of one Dulcinea del Toboso?’—‘The very
+same, my lady,’ answered Sancho, ‘and I myself am that very squire of
+his who is mentioned, or ought to be mentioned, in that history, by the
+name of Sancho Panza, unless they have changed me in the cradle, I mean,
+in the press.’—‘I am extremely glad to hear it,’ replied the duchess;
+‘go, brother Sancho, and tell your master, that he is well met, and
+welcome to my estate; and that nothing could give me more pleasure than
+his arrival.’
+
+Sancho, in an excess of joy, occasioned by this agreeable answer,
+returned, and recounted to his master all that this lady of rank had
+said, extolling to the skies, in his rustick phrase, her exceeding
+beauty, good-humour, and politeness. The knight chose one of his
+genteelest attitudes, fixed himself well in his stirrups, adjusted his
+vizor, quickened Rozinante, and with an agreeable air, advanced to pay
+his respects to the duchess; who, while he approached, ordered her
+husband to be called, and communicated the curious embassy. As they had
+read the first part of the history, from which they learned the
+extravagant humour of Don Quixote, they waited with infinite pleasure,
+and the most eager desire of being acquainted with the original, fully
+determined to gratify his humour in every thing, and treat him all the
+time he should stay with them, as a real knight-errant; that is, with
+all the ceremonies described in those books of chivalry they had read,
+and to which, indeed, they were greatly attached. Meanwhile, Don Quixote
+approaching with his beaver up, made a motion to alight, and Sancho made
+haste to hold the stirrup; but he was so unfortunate, that in
+dismounting from Dapple, he slipped his foot through the noose of the
+stirrup rope, in such a manner, that he could not possibly disentangle
+himself, but continued hanging with his face and part of his body on the
+ground. The knight, who never alighted without his assistance, imagining
+that Sancho, as usual, held the stirrup, threw himself off with a swing,
+and the saddle, which must have been very ill girted, and he, came to
+the ground together; not without great disgrace, and a thousand curses
+which he muttered between his teeth against the unfortunate Sancho,
+whose leg was still in the stocks.
+
+The duke, seeing their distress, ordered his huntsman to assist the
+knight and squire; and they lifted up Don Quixote, who was very much
+bruised by the fall; nevertheless, he advanced as well as he could, with
+a limping pace, and kneeled before this noble pair: but the duke would
+by no means allow him to remain in that posture; on the contrary,
+alighting from his horse, he ran to embrace the knight, saying, ‘I am
+heartily sorry, Sir Knight of the Rueful Countenance, that the first
+time you touch my ground, you should be so unlucky; but the carelessness
+of squires is often the cause of greater misfortunes.’—‘This accident,
+valiant prince,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘cannot possibly be deemed a
+misfortune, though I had been plunged into the profound abyss; for even
+from thence should I have been raised and extricated by the glory of
+seeing your grace. My squire, whom God confound! is more ready at
+untying his tongue, in order to utter malicious insinuations, than at
+tying and securing the girth of a saddle; but whether fallen or exalted,
+afoot or on horseback, I shall always be devoted to your service, and
+that of my Lady Duchess, your grace’s worthy consort, the dignified
+queen of beauty, and universal princess of politeness’—‘Softly, my good
+Signior Don Quixote de La Mancha,’ said the duke, ‘where my Lady
+Dulcinea del Toboso reigns, no other beauty deserves applause.’
+
+By this time Sancho Panza had disentangled himself and come up, and
+interposing in the discourse, before his master could make any reply,
+‘It cannot be denied,’ said he, ‘but must always be affirmed, that my
+Lady Dulcinea del Toboso is extremely beautiful: but the hare starts
+where she is least expected; for I have heard it said, that the power
+called Nature is like a potter, who, if he can make one beautiful
+vessel, can in like manner make two, three, aye, and a hundred; this, I
+observe, because, in good faith, my Lady Duchess comes not a whit behind
+my Lady Mistress Donna Dulcinea del Toboso.’ Don Quixote turning to the
+duchess, ‘Your grace must know,’ said he, ‘that no knight-errant upon
+earth has such a prattling and free-spoken squire as mine; and he will
+certainly verify my words, if your highness shall be pleased to make use
+of my service for a few days.’—‘I have the better opinion of honest
+Sancho, for his being free-spoken,’ answered the duchess: ‘that is a
+sign of his discretion; for pleasantry and wit, Signior Don Quixote, as
+your worship very well knows, do not love to dwell in a reserved
+disposition; and therefore, since honest Sancho is frank and
+free-spoken, I from henceforth set him down as a man of
+discretion.’—‘And loquacity,’ added the knight. ‘So much the better,’
+said the duke; ‘for a great deal of wit cannot be expressed in a few
+words; and that we may not spend more time in them, come, renowned
+Knight of the Rueful Countenance——’ ‘Of the Lions, your highness must
+call him,’ cried Sancho; ‘the Rueful Countenance is no more.’—‘Of the
+Lions let it be then,’ continued the duke; ‘I say, come, Sir Knight of
+the Lions, to a castle I have in this neighbourhood, where you shall
+meet with that reception which is due to a person of your fame and
+character, and that respect which I and the duchess always pay to the
+knights-errant who favour us with their company.’
+
+By this time Sancho having replaced and secured Rozinante’s saddle, Don
+Quixote bestrode that famous steed; and the duke mounting a beautiful
+courser, they rode towards the castle, on each side of the duchess, who
+desired Sancho to keep close to her; for she took infinite pleasure in
+hearing his conceits. Indeed, the squire did not need intreaty, but
+mingling among the three, made a fourth in the conversation, to the
+unspeakable satisfaction of their graces, who thought themselves
+extremely fortunate in having an opportunity of entertaining, at their
+castle, such a knight-errant, and such an erring squire.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIV.
+ WHICH TREATS OF MANIFOLD IMPORTANT SUBJECTS.
+
+
+Sancho rejoiced exceedingly at seeing himself, as he thought, a
+favourite with the duchess; for being a staunch well-wisher to good
+cheer, he imagined he should find the same abundance in the castle,
+which prevailed in the houses of Don Diego and Basilius, and always took
+by the forelock every occasion of living at his ease. The history then
+relates, that before they reached the castle or pleasure-house, the duke
+riding on before, directed his servants how to behave to Don Quixote;
+who no sooner arrived at the gate with the duchess, than two lacquies or
+grooms came forth, clad in long trailing morning-gowns of fine crimson
+sattin, and lifting him off, said, without being heard or perceived,
+‘Your highness must go and help my Lady Duchess to dismount.’ The knight
+took the hint, and a dispute of compliments passed between them on the
+subject; but, at length, the obstinacy of the duchess prevailed; for she
+would not quit her palfrey, or alight, except in the arms of the duke,
+saying, she was not worthy to load such an excellent knight with such an
+useless burden; at last, the duke came out to perform the office, and
+when they entered the court-yard, they were met by two beautiful
+damsels, who threw a mantle of the finest scarlet over Don Quixote’s
+shoulders, and the corridores were instantly crouded with servants of
+both sexes, who exclaimed aloud, ‘Welcome, thou flower and cream of
+knights-errant!’ while all, or the greatest part of them, emptied
+bottles of sweet water upon him and their graces, to the admiration of
+Don Quixote, who now, for the first time, was sure and satisfied of his
+being a real, and not a fantastick knight-errant, because he saw himself
+treated as the knights of former ages whose histories he had read.
+
+Sancho quitted Dapple, and betaking himself to the duchess, entered the
+castle; where, however, his confidence upbraiding him for having left
+his beast alone, he made up to a reverend duenna, who with others had
+come out to receive the duchess, and accosting her in a soft voice,
+‘Signora Gonçalez,’ said he, ‘or what’s your name, Madam?’—‘My name is
+Duenna Rodrigues de Grijalva,’ answered the gentlewoman; ‘what are your
+commands, brother?’—‘I wish you would do me the favour, good Madam,’
+replied the squire, ‘to go to the castle-gate, where you will find a
+dapple ass of mine, and be so good as either to send or lead him to the
+stable; for the poor creature is a little timorous, and cannot bear to
+be alone, by any manner of means.’—‘If the master be as wise as the
+man,’ cried the duenna, ‘we have brought our pigs to a fine market; get
+you gone, brother, with a vengeance to you, and those who brought you
+hither, and take care of your ass with your own hands; the duennas of
+this house are not used to such employment.’—‘But, for all that,’ said
+Sancho, ‘I have heard my master, who is a perfect mine of history, tell
+us how, when Lancelot came from Britain, ladies tended his own person,
+and duennas took care of his horse; now, with respect to my ass, I
+declare I would not exchange him for Signior Lancelot’s courser.’—‘Hark
+ye, friend,’ replied the duenna, ‘if you are a jack-pudding, keep your
+jokes for a proper place, where they may turn to account; from me you’ll
+get nothing but a fig for them.’—‘Very well,’ said the squire, ‘I’ll
+answer for its ripeness; your worship won’t lose your game by a short
+reckoning.’—‘You whoreson,’ cried the duenna, in a violent rage,
+‘whether I am old or not, I must render an account to God, and not to
+such a garlick-eating rascal as you.’
+
+This address she pronounced in such an audible voice, that she was
+overheard by the duchess; who, turning about, and seeing her woman in
+such wrath and trepidation, asked, with whom she was in such passion.
+‘With this honest fellow, here,’ answered the duenna; ‘who has earnestly
+desired me to go and house an ass of his, that stands at the
+castle-gate, telling me, forsooth, as an example, that the same
+employment was undertaken by some ladies, who took care of one Lancelot,
+while the duennas looked after his horse; and to crown the compliment,
+he tells me I am old.’—‘I, myself,’ said the duchess, ‘would construe
+that into the greatest affront that could be given.—Take notice, friend
+Sancho, that Donna Rodriguez is in the prime of her youth; and that the
+veil she wears is more for authority and custom, than on account of her
+years.’—‘Accursed be those I have to live,’ cried the squire, ‘if I
+spoke to her for that reason; but, only for the great affection I bear
+to my ass, whom I thought I could not recommend to a more charitable
+person than Signora Donna Rodriguez.’ Don Quixote overhearing all that
+passed, ‘Is that proper discourse for this place, Sancho?’ said he.
+‘Signior,’ replied the squire, ‘every man must speak of his wants where
+he finds them; here I thought of Dapple, and here I talked of him; and
+if he had come into my head in the stable, there too he should have been
+honourably mentioned.’ Here the duke interposing, ‘Sancho is very much
+in the right,’ said he, ‘and must not be blamed for what he has said;
+Dapple shall have no more to do but ask and have as much provender as he
+can eat; for that Sancho may be quite easy in that respect, for his
+beast shall be treated like his own person.’
+
+This conversation, which was extremely agreeable to all, except Don
+Quixote, brought them to the top of the stair-case: and the knight being
+conducted into an apartment, hung with the richest tissue and brocade,
+was unarmed, and attended by six sprightly damsels, well instructed by
+the duke and duchess in the particulars of behaviour which they were to
+observe towards Don Quixote, in order to convince him that he was
+treated in all respects like a knight-errant. Thus disarmed, he remained
+in his strait breeches and shamoy doublet, so long, so lank, so lean,
+with his lanthorn jaws kissing each other, that if the damsels had not
+been very careful in preserving their gravity, according to the precise
+orders they had received, they must certainly have burst with laughing
+at sight of such an uncouth figure. They desired he would allow them to
+undress and shift him; but he would not assent to this proposal, saying
+that knights-errant ought to be as remarkable for decency as for valour:
+he therefore bade them deliver the shirt to Sancho, with whom shutting
+himself up in a chamber, furnished with a magnificent bed, he was
+immediately undressed and shifted. Then being alone with his squire,
+‘Tell me,’ said he, ‘thou modern buffoon and ancient blockhead! was it
+thy province to dishonour and affront a venerable duenna, so worthy of
+reverence and respect! Was that a time to think of Dapple? or couldst
+thou imagine those noble persons would neglect the cattle belonging to
+guests whom they treated with such elegance? For the love of God,
+Sancho; set a guard upon thy tongue, and behave so as that people may
+not discover, by the thread, the coarse country web of which thou art
+woven: consider, sinner as thou art, that the matter is respected in
+proportion to the discretion and good-breeding of his servants; and this
+is one of the great advantages which noblemen have over people of
+inferior rank: dost thou not consider, thou plague to thyself, and
+vexation to me! that if they perceive thee to be a base-bred clown or
+blundering fool, they will take me for some cheating impostor or knight
+of the post! No, no, Sancho, shun and avoid those inconveniences; for he
+who sets up for a merry-andrew, falls at the first stumble into a
+disgraced buffoon: bridle thy tongue, therefore, consider and ruminate
+well, before the words issue from thy mouth; and remember that we are
+now arrived at a place from whence by the favour of God, and the valour
+of mine arm, we shall depart, bettered three, nay, five-fold, both in
+fortune and in fame.’ Sancho promised, with repeated assurances, that he
+would rather stitch up his mouth, or bite off his tongue, than utter one
+word that should not be pat to the purpose, and well considered,
+according to his command; and that he might make himself perfectly easy
+on that score, for by him it should never be discovered who they were.
+
+Don Quixote having dressed himself, girded on his sword, thrown the
+scarlet mantle over his shoulders, and covered his head with a cap of
+green velvet, which he received from the damsels, came forth thus
+equipped, into the great hall, where he found the maidens placed in two
+equal rows, furnished with the implements for hands-washing, which they
+administered with profound respect and abundance of ceremony: then came
+the major-domo, attended by twelve pages, to conduct him to the table
+where their graces waited for him; he was accordingly surrounded by
+these domesticks, and led with great pomp and majesty into another hall,
+in which appeared a table, nobly decorated, with four covers. The duke
+and duchess came to the door to receive him, attended by one of those
+grave ecclesiasticks who govern the families of noblemen; who being of
+no birth themselves, know not how to direct those who are; who seek to
+measure the grandeur of the great by the narrowness of their own souls;
+and, in attempting to make their pupils œconomists, convert them into
+downright misers: such, I say, was the grave clergyman who came out to
+receive Don Quixote, with the duke and duchess. After a thousand
+courteous compliments, they walked on each side of him to the table,
+where the duke complimented him with the upper end; and though he
+refused that honour, they importuned him so much, that he was obliged to
+comply; the clergyman sitting opposite to him, and the duke and duchess
+taking their places at the sides.
+
+Sancho, who was present at all this ceremony, being confounded and
+astonished at the honours which were paid to his master, and perceiving
+the formality and entreaties that passed between his grace and Don
+Quixote, about sitting at the head of the table, intruded himself, as
+usual, into the discourse, saying, ‘With your honour’s leave, I’ll tell
+you a story of what happened in our village, with respect to the
+upper-hand in sitting.’
+
+Scarce had he pronounced these words, when the knight began to tremble
+with apprehensions that he was going to utter some absurdity; but the
+squire seeing and understanding the cause of his matter’s trepidation,
+‘Signior,’ said he, ‘Your worship needs not be afraid that I shall
+misbehave, or say, something that is not to the matter in hand; for I
+have not forgot the advice I just now received from your worship, about
+speaking a little or a great deal, to the purpose, and not to the
+purpose.’—‘I know nothing at all of the matter,’ answered the knight;
+‘say what thou wilt, so thou sayest it quickly.’—‘Well then,’ replied
+Sancho, ‘what I am going to say, is true, for my master Don Quixote,
+here present, would not suffer me to tell a lye.’—‘As for me,’ said Don
+Quixote, ‘you may lye as much as you please, without lett or
+molestation: but I advise you to consider well what you are about to
+say.’—‘I have it so well considered and reconsidered, that I am as safe
+as he that has the repique in hand, as will appear in the
+performance.’—‘Your graces will do well,’ said Don Quixote, ‘to order
+the servants to turn out this madman, who will commit a thousand
+blunders.’—‘By the life of the duke!’ cried the duchess, ‘I will not
+part with my good friend Sancho, for whom I have a very great respect,
+because I know him to be a person of wit and pleasantry.’—‘Pleasant may
+all the days of your holiness be, for your good opinion, of my deserts,’
+said the squire; ‘though God knows, they are but slender enough:
+however, my story is this.
+
+‘There was an invitation given by a gentleman of our town, who was both
+rich and well born, as being come of the Alamos of Medina del Campo, and
+married to Donna Mencia de Quinones, daughter of Don Alonzo de Maranon,
+Knight of the Order of St. Jago, who was drowned in the Herradura, and
+occasioned a quarrel some years ago in our village, in which, if I am
+not mistaken, my master Don Quixote was concerned; but this I know, mad
+Tom, the son of old Balvastro the blacksmith, was hurt on that
+occasion.—Now, Sir Master of mine, is not this God’s truth; speak upon
+your worship’s honour, that these noble persons may not look upon me as
+a chattering lyar?’—‘Hitherto,’ said the clergyman, ‘I take you to be a
+chatterer rather than a lyar; but I know not what I shall take you for
+in the sequel.’—‘Thou hast produced so many witnesses and tokens,’
+replied the knight, ‘that I cannot but say thy story looks like truth;
+proceed, however, and shorten thy tale, for thou art in the way of
+lengthening it out for the space of two whole days.’—‘He shall not
+shorten it,’ said the duchess, ‘if he consults my entertainment; but, on
+the contrary, tell it in his own way, though it should not be finished
+in six days; for should it hold out so long, they will be some of the
+pleasantest I ever passed.’
+
+‘Well, then, my masters,’ proceeded Sancho, ‘that same gentleman, whom I
+know as well as I know these two hands, for it is not above a bow-shot
+from his house to mine; invited a farmer, who, though not rich, was a
+very honest man.’—‘Dispatch, brother,’ cried the priest, interposing,
+‘for at this rate, your story will reach to the other world.’—‘It will
+hardly go half so far, an it please God,’ answered the squire; who thus
+proceeded: ‘So, as I was saying, the farmer going to the house of the
+gentleman inviter, who is now dead, God rest his soul! by the same token
+they say he died like an angel; for my own part, I was not present at
+his death, having gone a reaping to Tembleque.’—‘As you hope to live,
+son,’ cried the ecclesiastick, ‘return quickly from Tembleque, and
+finish your story, without staying to inter the gentleman, unless you
+have a mind to bury us all?’—‘Well, to come to the point,’ replied
+Sancho; ‘when the two came to be seated at table. Methinks I see them
+now more than ever.’ The duke and duchess were infinitely pleased with
+the disgust which the reverend ecclesiastick expressed at the tedious
+and circumstantial manner in which the squire related his story, while
+Don Quixote was almost consumed by shame and indignation. ‘I say,
+moreover,’ resumed Sancho, ‘that the two, as I have already observed,
+coming to sit down at the table, the farmer obstinately refused to take
+the upper-end, according to the desire of the entertainer; while the
+gentleman on the other hand as obstinately insisted upon his compliance,
+alledging that he ought to be master in his own house; but the farmer,
+who piqued himself upon his politeness and good-breeding, still
+persisted in his refusal, until the gentleman, growing angry, took him
+by the shoulders, and thrust him into the seat, saying, “Know, Mr.
+Chaff-thresher, that wheresoever I sit, I shall always be at the head of
+the table.” Now this is my tale, and I really believe it was brought in
+pretty pat to the purpose.’
+
+Don Quixote’s brown face was speckled with a thousand different colours
+at this recital: and their graces restrained their laughter, that he
+might not be quite abashed at the sarcastick insinuation of his squire.
+To change the discourse, therefore, and prevent Sancho from uttering any
+other such dangerous contents, the duchess addressing herself to the
+knight, asked, when he had heard from the Lady Dulcinea; and if he had
+lately sent her any presents from the great number of giants and robbers
+whom he must have vanquished. To this interrogation the knight replied,
+‘My misfortunes, Madam, though they had a beginning, will never have an
+end. Giants I have vanquished; felons and robbers I have sent; but where
+must they find her, inchanted and transformed as she is, into the most
+homely country wench that can be imagined!’—‘This I know,’ said Sancho
+Panza: ‘to me she seemed the most beautiful creature in the whole world;
+at least, in point of nimbleness and leaping, she would get the better
+of a professed rope-dancer.—In good faith, my Lady Duchess, she skipped
+from the ground upon her ass, like a perfect cat.’—‘What! have you seen
+her inchanted, Sancho?’ said the duke. ‘How! I seen her?’ replied the
+squire: ‘who the devil but I was the first that fell upon the plot of
+the inchantment: to be sure she was as much inchanted as my father.’
+
+The ecclesiastick hearing them talk of giants, felons, and inchantments,
+began to imagine that this must be the Don Quixote de La Mancha, whose
+history the duke took such delight in reading, that he had often
+reprehended his grace for being so mad as to read such nonsense; and
+being now confirmed in his suspicion, he said to the duke, in a very
+cholerick tone, ‘Signior, your excellency is accountable to Heaven for
+the actions of that poor man. That Don Quixote, or Don Driveller, or
+what’s his name, would not, I imagine, be such a fool, if your
+excellency did not administer fuel and encouragement to his madness and
+folly.’ Then addressing himself to the knight, ‘And pray, Mr. Wiseacre,’
+said he, ‘who has stuffed your brain with the ridiculous conceit of your
+being a knight-errant, conquering giants, and apprehending robbers?
+Return, in good hour, (for in good hour I advise you) return to your own
+house, educate your children, if you have any, take care of your own
+concerns, and leave off strolling about the country, sucking the wind,
+and exposing yourself to the laughter of those who do, and those who do
+not, know your infirmity. Where, in evil hour, did you find that there
+are, or ever were, knights-errant? Where did you ever see giants in
+Spain, caitiffs in La Mancha, or inchanted Dulcineas, with all that
+tribe of absurdities that are recounted as your adventures?’
+
+Don Quixote, who listened attentively to the discourse of this venerable
+person, no sooner perceived he had left off speaking, than forgetting
+the respect he owed the duke and duchess, he started up, and with ireful
+aspect and glowing visage, replied——But the reply deserves a chapter for
+itself.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XV.
+ CONTAINING DON QUIXOTE’S REPLY TO HIS REPROVER;
+ WITH OTHER SERIOUS AND DIVERTING INCIDENTS.
+
+
+Don Quixote starting up, and trembling from head to foot, like
+quicksilver, thus accosted the ecclesiastick, with an eager, yet
+faultering tongue: ‘The place and presence in which I am, and the
+respect which I always had and still have for the function you profess,
+withold and tie up the hands of my just resentment; for these reasons,
+as well as because I know what all the world knows, that gownmen and
+women make use of no weapons but their tongues, I will, with mine,
+fairly engage your reverence, of whom I might have expected good advice,
+rather than infamous reproach; as wholesome and well-meant reproof
+requires far other circumstances, and ought to be conveyed in gentler
+terms: at least, a rebuke in publick, delivered with such asperity, has
+exceeded all the bounds of Christian reprehension, the beginning of
+which ought to be mild rather than severe; nor is it just to call the
+delinquent in plain terms, a wiseacre and a fool, without knowing the
+nature of the fault for which he is reprehensible. But, pray tell me,
+reverend Signior, for which of the absurdities you have noted in my
+behaviour, do you condemn and reproach me, bidding me return to my own
+house, to take care of my family, my wife and children, without knowing
+whether I have either wife or children? What then! is there nothing
+required but to enter a house at random, in order to lead the master by
+the nose; and shall a narrow-minded pedant, on the strength of having
+taught a few pupils to read Latin, though he has seen no more of the
+world than what may be contained in twenty or thirty leagues of
+district, presume abruptly, without permission, to give laws to
+chivalry, and judge of knights-errant? Is it a vain undertaking then, or
+is the time misspent, which we employ in travelling about the world, not
+in quest of its delights, but its adversities, by which good men ascend
+the throne of immortality? Had I been counted a fool by knights, or
+people of fashion, birth, or generosity, I should have deemed myself
+irreparably affronted; but my being regarded as a madman by book-worms
+who never entered or trod the paths of chivalry, I value not a farthing;
+a knight I am, and a knight I shall die according to the pleasure of the
+Almighty. Some chuse the spacious field of proud ambition; others take
+that of base and servile adulation; a third set follow the paths of
+deceitful hypocrisy; and a fourth proceed in that of true religion; but
+I, by the influence of my stars, pursue the narrow track of
+knight-errantry, for the exercise of which, I undervalue fortune in the
+chace of honour. I have assisted the aggrieved, redressed wrongs,
+chastised the insolent, overcome giants, and overthrown hobgoblins. I am
+enamoured, for no other reason but because it is necessary that
+knights-errant should be in love; and this being the case, I am not a
+vicious libertine, but a chaste platonick admirer. My intention I always
+direct to a worthy aim, namely, to do good unto all men, and harm to no
+creature.—Whether or not he who thinks, acts, and speaks in this manner,
+deserves to be called a fool, let your graces determine?’
+
+‘Well argued, master!’ cried Sancho: ’‘Fore God! your worship needs say
+no more in behalf of your own character; for there is no more to be
+said, thought, or insisted upon; especially as that gentleman denies,
+and he certainly has denied, that there either are, or ever were,
+knights-errant in this world; so that he knows nothing at all of the
+matter!’—‘Brother,’ replied the priest, ‘belike you are that Sancho
+Panza, to whom they say your master has promised an island?’—‘Yes, I
+am,’ said the squire, ‘and I hope I deserve it as well as another. I am
+one of whom you may say, Keep good company, and you’ll learn good
+manners; and, I ask not where you was hatched, but where you was
+watched. And again, Well sheltered shall he be, who leans against a
+sturdy tree. Now I have leaned against a good master, and accompanied
+him many months, and will learn to be just such another as himself; and
+if God pleases, and he live and I live, he will not want governments to
+give, nor I islands to govern.’—‘No, surely, friend Sancho,’ said the
+duke, ‘for I myself, in the name of Signior Don Quixote, will confer
+upon you the government of an odd island, and that not inconsiderable,
+which is in my possession.’—‘Fall upon your knees, Sancho,’ cried Don
+Quixote, ‘and kiss his excellency’s feet, for the honour he has done
+you.’ Sancho did as he was desired: and the ecclesiastick no sooner saw
+the ceremony performed, than he rose from table in a violent passion,
+saying, ‘By the habit which I wear, I affirm, that your excellency is as
+mad as these poor sinners: what wonder that they should be frantick,
+when people who are in their senses canonize their phrenzy! Your
+excellency may enjoy their company by yourself; for while they remain in
+this house, I shall stay in my own, and excuse myself from reproving
+what I cannot remedy.’ Without farther speech, or eating another
+mouthful, he went away abruptly, in spite of all their graces could say
+to detain him. Indeed the duke said not much; for he was hindered by the
+laughter which the priest’s impertinent indignation had produced;
+however, as soon as he could resume his gravity, he addressed himself to
+Don Quixote in these words.
+
+‘Sir Knight of the Lions, your worship has made such an ample reply,
+that nothing farther remains to be done, by way of satisfaction for
+that, which though it may seem an affront, falls by no means under that
+denomination; for neither the female sex nor the clergy, can give
+affronts, as your worship so very well knows.’—‘Undoubtedly,’ answered
+the knight; ‘and the reason is, because those persons who cannot
+receive, are not capable of giving an affront. Women, children, and
+ecclesiasticks, as they cannot defend themselves when attacked, so
+neither can they be affronted: for there is this difference between an
+injury and affront, as your excellency well knows; an affront comes from
+a person who is capable of giving an affront, and when it is given,
+maintains it; whereas, an injury may come from any quarter, unattended
+by an affront. For example, a man walking carelessly in the street, is
+assaulted and cudgelled by ten armed persons, against whom he draws his
+sword, and behaves like a man of honour; but he is overpowered by the
+number of his antagonists, and prevented from executing his intention,
+which is to revenge the wrong; this man is injured, not affronted. A
+truth which we will confirm by another example: A man comes and strikes
+another, whose back is turned, and then betakes himself to his heels;
+and the other pursues, though he cannot overtake the fugitive. The man
+so struck received an injury, but no affront, because an affront ought
+to be maintained. If he who gave the blow, though it was done by
+stealth, in a cowardly manner, had drawn his sword, and stood facing the
+enemy, he who received the blow would have been both injured and
+affronted: injured, because he was surprized; and affronted, because he
+who gave the blow maintained it by keeping his ground. And therefore,
+according to the punctilios of honour, I may be injured but not
+affronted; for women and children do not feel those things; they can
+neither fly nor stand their ground: and the same rule holds good with
+those who are consecrated to the service of religion. Now these three
+classes of mankind are destitute of offensive and defensive weapons; and
+though nature obliges them to stand in their own defence, yet they can
+offend nobody: and albeit I just now said I might be injured, I now
+affirm it cannot be in any shape; for he who cannot receive, much less
+can he give an affront. For which reasons I ought not to resent, nor do
+I resent, the reproaches of that honest man; I only wish he had staid a
+little, until I should have convinced him of his error, in thinking and
+saying, there never were, nor are, knights-errant upon the face of the
+earth; an asseveration which might have turned to his prejudice, had it
+been overheard by Amadis, or any one of his infinite progeny.’—‘I’ll
+take my corporal oath,’ cried Sancho, ‘that they would have given a
+back-stroke that would have laid him open from top to toe, like a
+pomegranate or ripe melon: they were a rare set to endure such tickling.
+By my holy-dame! I am well assured, that if Reynaldos of Montalvan had
+heard this manikin’s discourse, he would have given him such a slap in
+the mouth, that he should not have spoke another word in three long
+years. No, no! let him meddle with them, and he’ll see how well he’ll
+escape out of their clutches.’ The duchess had well-nigh died with
+laughing at this speech of Sancho; who, in her sentiment, was a more
+diverting madman than his master, and a great many people at that time
+were of the same way of thinking.
+
+Finally, Don Quixote was appeased, dinner ended, and the cloth being
+taken away, in came four damsels, one of them with a silver ewer,
+another with a flask of the same metal, a third with a couple of very
+fine white towels over her arm, and a fourth with her arms bare up to
+the elbow, and in her white hands, for doubtless they were white, a wash
+ball of Neapolitan soap. She who carried the ewer, approaching with a
+genteel carriage, and modest assurance, thrust it under the beard of Don
+Quixote, who, without speaking one word, wondered at this ceremony; from
+which he concluded, that it was the custom of the country to wash
+beards, instead of hands: he therefore stretched out his chin as far as
+he could, and immediately the flask began to rain; the damsel with the
+soap-ball lathered him with great expedition, raising flakes of snow,
+(for the suds were as white) not only upon the beard, but also over the
+whole face of the obedient knight, insomuch that he was obliged to shut
+his eyes in their defence; while the duke and duchess, who were not in
+the secret, sat impatiently waiting to see the issue of this ablution.
+The young she-barber having raised the lather as high as her hand,
+pretended the water was spent, and bade the damsel of the flask go for a
+fresh supply, and Signior Don Quixote would have patience till her
+return. He accordingly waited with patience, exhibiting the strangest
+and most ludicrous figure that ever was conceived, to the view of
+numerous spectators, who seeing half a yard of neck more than moderately
+brown, two eyes shut, and his beard covered with lather, had need of
+great discretion to restrain their laughter, and it was a wonder they
+could smother it at any rate. As for the damsels concerned in the joke,
+they kept their eyes fixed on the ground, without daring to look at the
+duke and duchess, who were at once agitated by mirth and indignation;
+and did not know, whether they should resolve upon chastising their
+presumption, or rewarding them for the pleasure they received in seeing
+the knight in such an attitude. At length the damsel returning with more
+water, they finished the ablution of Don Quixote; then she who carried
+the towels having wiped and dried him with great composure, all four at
+once made a most profound curtsey, and were going away. But the duke,
+fearing the knight would smell the joke, called to the damsel of the
+ewer, saying—‘Come hither, and wash me too, and be sure you have water
+enough.’ The girl being very handy and acute, obeyed without hesitation,
+placed the ewer under his grace’s chin, and when he was well washed,
+lathered, wiped, and dried, they dropped their curtsies and retired. It
+was afterwards known, the duke had sworn within himself, that if they
+should have refused to serve him in that manner, he would have chastised
+them for their assurance; but they prudently escaped a scouring, by
+scouring his grace.
+
+Sancho having attentively considered this ceremony of cleansing—‘God’s
+mercy!’ said he within himself, ‘is it the custom in this country to
+wash the squire’s beard as well as the knight’s? For God and my own
+conscience knows, I have need of such purification; and if they would
+give me the touch of a razor, the benefit would still be the
+greater.’—‘What is that you mutter, Sancho?’ said the duchess. ‘I say,
+my lady,’ answered the squire, ‘I have always heard it said, that in the
+courts of other princes, when the cloth is taken away, water for the
+hands is brought in, but not suds for the beard; so that the longer we
+live, the more we learn: yet it is also observed, that he who lives much
+time will bear much misfortune; though to undergo such a purification as
+this may pass for a pleasure rather than a toil.’—‘Give yourself no
+concern, friend Sancho,’ said the duchess, ‘for I will order my maids
+not only to wash, but also to lay you a-bucking, should it be
+necessary.’—‘I shall be satisfied with the lathering of my beard,’
+replied the squire; ‘at least for the present, and God will ordain what
+is to happen in the sequel.’ The duchess turning to the
+major-domo—‘Remember,’ said she, ‘what honest Sancho desires, and
+gratify his inclination with the utmost punctuality.’ This domestick
+promised that Signior Sancho should be obeyed in all things; and
+returning to dinner with the squire, left their graces and Don Quixote
+sitting at the table, discoursing on many and various subjects, though
+all of them related to chivalry and the exercise of arms.
+
+The duchess entreated the knight, who seemed to possess such a tenacious
+memory, to delineate and describe the beauty and deportment of the Lady
+Dulcinea del Toboso, who, she concluded, from what fame had proclaimed
+of her charms, must be the fairest creature, not only in the whole
+world, but even in La Mancha. Don Quixote sighing, at her grace’s
+request—‘If,’ said he, ‘I could take out my heart, and lay it before
+your highness in a plate, upon this table, I should save my tongue the
+trouble of saying what is almost inconceivable, for in it your
+excellency would see her picture at full length: but why should I now
+attempt to delineate and describe circumstantially the particular charms
+of the peerless Dulcinea? A burden worthy of other shoulders than mine,
+and a task which ought to employ the pencils of Parrhasius, Timanthes,
+and Apelles, together with the chissel of Lysippus, to exhibit her image
+on canvas, brass, and marble, as well as the Ciceronian and Demosthenian
+eloquence to sound her praise.’—‘What does Signior Don Quixote mean by
+Demosthenian,’ said the duchess, ‘which is a word I never heard before
+in the whole course of my life.’—‘Demosthenian eloquence,’ answered the
+knight, ‘has the same signification as the eloquence of Demosthenes, and
+Ciceronian means that of Cicero; for these two were the greatest orators
+in the whole world.’—‘Certainly,’ said the duke, ‘and you exposed
+yourself by such an interrogation: nevertheless, Signior Don Quixote
+would give us infinite pleasure, could he be prevailed upon to describe
+that beauty which, even in a sketch or rough draught, would certainly
+appear such as might excite envy in the most beautiful women of the
+creation.’—‘I would assuredly comply with your grace’s desire,’ replied
+the knight, ‘were not her idea blotted from my remembrance, by the
+misfortune which hath lately befallen her; a misfortune which induces me
+to bewail rather than describe her; for your highness must observe, that
+when I went some time ago to kiss her hands and receive her benediction,
+consent, and licence, for this my third sally, I found her quite
+otherwise than I expected; I found her enchanted and transformed from a
+princess into a country wench, from beauty into deformity, from an angel
+into a dæmon, from a delicious perfume into a pestilential vapour, from
+the pink of compliment into the most clownish dialect, from light into
+darkness, from a sedate young lady into a rustick romp, and finally,
+from Dulcinea del Toboso into a Sayago[166] drab.’—‘God protect us!’
+cried the duke with a loud voice, ‘who can have done such mischief to
+the world, in robbing it of that beauty by which it was delighted, that
+good humour by which it was entertained, and that modesty which did it
+honour?’—‘Who?’ answered the knight; ‘who could it be, but one of the
+malignant and envious tribe of enchanters, by whom I am persecuted? That
+accursed race, brought into the world on purpose to obscure and
+annihilate the exploits of the good, and to illustrate and extol the
+deeds of the wicked. Persecuted I have been by enchanters, persecuted I
+am by enchanters, and enchanters will persecute me, until I and all my
+lofty feats of chivalry are plunged into the abyss of oblivion: nay,
+they injure and wound me in that part where they know my feeling is most
+acute; for to deprive a knight-errant of his mistress, is to rob him of
+the eyes with which he sees, the sun by which he is enlightened, and the
+support by which he is maintained. I have many times said, and now I
+repeat the observation, that a knight-errant without a mistress, is like
+a tree without leaves, a building without cement, and a shadow without
+the substance by which it is produced.’
+
+‘There is no more to be said,’ replied the duchess; ‘nevertheless, if we
+are to believe the history of Signior Don Quixote, which has lately been
+ushered into the world, with the general applause of the different
+nations that compose it, we must conclude (if I right remember) that
+your worship never saw the Lady Dulcinea, and that there is no such
+person in being; but that it is only a fantastical mistress, begot and
+born in your imagination, which hath decked her with all the graces and
+perfection that fancy could conceive.’—‘Much may be said on that
+subject,’ answered Don Quixote; ‘God knows whether or not there is such
+a person as Dulcinea in the world, whether she is fantastical or not
+fantastical; for these things are not to be too nicely investigated: for
+my own part, I neither begat nor bore my mistress, although I
+contemplate her with that admiration which is due to a lady, in whom are
+concentered those qualities that ought to render her renowned throughout
+the whole world, such as beauty without blemish, gravity without pride,
+tenderness with chastity, affability from courtesy, courtesy from
+good-breeding; and, finally, dignity from birth, because nobleness of
+blood reflects an additional splendor upon beauty, and shews it to
+greater perfection than that which we find, among the fairest of those
+who are meanly born.’—‘Your observation is extremely just,’ said the
+duke: ‘but Signior Don Quixote must give me leave to mention what the
+history of his adventures, which I have read, obliges me to declare;
+namely, that though we grant there may be a Dulcinea, either in or out
+of Toboso, and that she may be beautiful to excess, as your worship has
+described her, yet, in respect to pedigree, she is by no means on a
+footing with the Orianas, the Alastrajareas, Madasimas, together with
+the rest of that class, which occurs so often in those histories that
+are so familiar to your worship.’
+
+‘To that observation I can answer,’ said the knight, ‘that Dulcinea is
+the daughter of her own works; that good qualities ennoble the blood,
+and that a virtuous person of low descent ought to be more esteemed than
+a vicious man of high degree; especially as Dulcinea possesses
+qualifications which may raise her to the throne of a crowned and
+sceptered queen; for the merit of a virtuous and beautiful woman is
+sufficient to work still greater miracles, and virtually, though not
+formally, contains within itself still greater advantages.’—‘Signior Don
+Quixote,’ said the duchess, ‘every thing you say is spoken with
+deliberation, and, according to the proverb, you proceed with the
+plummet in your hand: henceforth I shall firmly believe, and make my
+whole family, even the duke himself, should there be occasion, believe,
+that Dulcinea is living at this day in Toboso; that she is beautiful,
+high born, and in all respects worthy to be served and admired by such a
+knight as Signior Don Quixote; and that is the highest compliment that
+can be bestowed. But I cannot help forming a scruple, and entertaining a
+kind of grudge against Sancho Panza: the scruple arises from a
+particular of the history, importing, that the said Sancho found the
+Lady Dulcinea winnowing a sack of wheat, when he carried a letter to her
+from your worship, by the same token it is said to have been red wheat;
+a circumstance that makes me doubt the nobleness of her pedigree.’
+
+To this remark Don Quixote replied—‘Madam, your highness must know that
+all or the greatest part of the incidents that happen to me, deviate
+from the ordinary limits of those adventures which occur to other
+knights-errant, either conduced by the inscrutable will of destiny, or
+effected by the malice of some envious enchanter; and it is a
+circumstance well known of all or the greatest part of renowned
+knights-errant, that one possessed the virtue of being proof against
+enchantment, another of being invulnerable, which was the case of the
+famous Orlando, one of the Twelve Peers of France, who, as it is
+recorded, could not be wounded in any other place but the sole of his
+left foot, and even there, with no other weapon than the point of a
+large pin; so that Bernardo del Carpio, who slew him at the battle of
+Roncesvalles, perceiving that he could make no impression upon him with
+steel, lifted him off the ground, and strangled him between his arms, in
+imitation of the manner in which Hercules destroyed Anteus, that
+ferocious giant said to be the son of Earth. What I would infer from
+what I have said, is, that I too may have some of these virtues centered
+in my person, though not that of being invulnerable, for I have been
+frequently convinced by experience, that my flesh is very tender, and by
+no means impenetrable; nor that of being proof against enchantment, for
+I once found myself cooped up in a cage, in which the whole world would
+not have had strength enough to inclose me, without the additional power
+of enchantment; but since I freed myself from that confinement, I am apt
+to believe that no other will ever interrupt the course of my
+adventures; and, therefore, those enchanters, seeing that their wicked
+arts will not take effect upon my own person, revenge themselves on
+those things to which my affection is chiefly attached, and endeavour to
+deprive me of life, by persecuting that of Dulcinea, for whom alone I
+live. I therefore am persuaded, that when my squire delivered my
+message, they had converted her into a coarse country wench, employed in
+such a mean exercise as that of winnowing wheat: but I have already
+said, that it could not be red wheat, nor indeed any sort of wheat, but
+oriental pearls; and as a proof of this asseveration, I must tell your
+highnesses, that when I lately went to Toboso, I could by no means find
+Dulcinea’s palace; and the day following, while my squire Sancho beheld
+her in her own figure, which is the fairest in the whole world, to me
+she seemed a rustick and homely country wench, without any thing
+sensible in her conversation; whereas she is in fact the very pink of
+discretion and good sense. Now, since I myself neither am, nor, in all
+probability, can be enchanted, she is the person enchanted, offended,
+changed, perverted, and transformed, and in her my enemies have taken
+vengeance upon me; so that, for her, I shall live in perpetual
+affliction, until I see her restored to her former state; all this I
+have observed, that nobody may scruple about what Sancho said of her
+sifting and winnowing; for, since they have transformed her in my view,
+no wonder they should change her form in his. Dulcinea is a person of
+birth and fashion, one of the genteel families of Toboso, which are very
+numerous, ancient and noble; and certainly no small part of these
+qualifications falls to the share of the peerless Dulcinea, on whose
+account the place of her nativity will become famous and renowned in
+future ages, as Troy is become famous by Helen, and Spain by Cava,
+though with a better title and nobler fame. On the other hand, I must
+inform your graces, that Sancho Panza is one of the most pleasant
+squires that ever served a knight-errant: sometimes his simplicity is so
+arch, that to consider whether he is more fool or wag, yields abundance
+of pleasure; he hath roguery enough to pass for a knave, and absurdities
+sufficient to confirm him a fool; he doubts every thing, and believes
+every thing; and often, when I think, he is going to discharge nonsense,
+he will utter apophthegms that will raise him to the skies; in a word, I
+would not exchange him for any other squire, even with a city to boot;
+and therefore I am in doubt whether or not it will be expedient to send
+him to that government which your grace has been so good as to bestow
+upon him; although I can perceive in him a certain aptitude for such an
+office; so that, when his understanding is a very little polished, he
+will agree with any government, like the king with his customs; for we
+know by repeated experience, that great talents and learning are not
+necessary in a governor, as there are a hundred at least, who govern
+like _jerfaulcons_, though they can hardly read their mother tongue;
+provided their intention is righteous, and their desire to do justice,
+they will never want counsellors to direct them in every transaction,
+like your military governors, who being illiterate themselves, never
+decide without the advice of an assessor. I shall advise him corruption
+to eschew, but never quit his due: and inculcate some other small
+matters that are in my head, which, in process of time, may redound to
+his own interest, as well as to the advantage of the island under his
+command.’
+
+Thus far the conversation had proceeded between their graces and Don
+Quixote, when they heard a number of people talking, and a great noise
+in the palace, and presently Sancho entered the hall in a fright, tucked
+with a dish-clout by way of bib, and followed by several boys, or rather
+scullions and other small gentry, one of whom brought a tray full of
+water, which, by its colour and filth, appeared to be dish-washings,
+pursuing and persecuting the poor squire, and struggling to thrust it
+under his chin; while another, with the same earnestness, endeavoured to
+lather his beard. ‘What is the matter, fellows?’ cried the duchess,
+‘what is the matter? What designs have you upon that worthy gentleman?
+Hah! don’t you consider he is governor elect?’ To this apostrophe, the
+barber scullion replied—‘The gentleman won’t suffer himself to be washed
+according to the custom and manner practised upon my Lord Duke and his
+own master.’—‘Yes, I will,’ cried Sancho in a violent passion, ‘but it
+must be with whiter towels, clearer suds, and cleaner hands; for surely
+there is not such a difference between me and my master, as that he
+should be washed with angel water, and I drenched with devil’s lye. The
+customs of different countries, and the fashions of princely courts, are
+no farther good than as they are agreeable; but this here custom of
+lathering is worse than the exercise of disciplinants[167]. My beard is
+clean enough, and needs no such scrubbing; and if any man pretends to
+lather me, or touch a hair of my head, (my beard I mean) saving this
+honourable presence, I’ll drive my fist in his scull; for these
+ceremonies of soap scouring look rather like making game than making
+welcome.’ The duchess was ready to burst with laughing at the rage and
+remonstrance of Sancho: but Don Quixote was not extremely well pleased,
+to see his squire tucked up with such a dirty cloth, and surrounded with
+so many sons of the kitchen; he therefore, making a low bow to the duke
+and duchess, by way of asking their permission to speak, thus addressed
+himself to the scullions, in a solemn tone—‘So ho, you gentlemen
+cavaliers! I desire your worships will let the young man alone, and
+return to the place from whence you came, or go whithersoever you
+please; my squire is as cleanly as another, and those trays are as unfit
+for him as a narrow-necked bottle: take my advice, therefore, and let
+him alone; for neither he nor I understand such impertinent jokes.’ Here
+Sancho, taking the word out of his master’s mouth, proceeded,
+saying—‘No, no, let them perform their clumsy joke, which I shall bear
+as sure as it is now night! let them fetch a comb, or what they will, to
+curry this beard, and if they catch any thing that should give offence
+to cleanliness, they shall shear me against the hair.’
+
+At this period, the duchess still laughing—‘Sancho Panza,’ said she, ‘is
+certainly in the right in all that he has said, and will be in the right
+in all that he shall say; he is already clean enough, and as he
+observes, has no occasion to be washed; and if he does not like the
+custom of the place, he shall follow his own inclination[168]; besides,
+you ministers of cleanliness have been extremely remiss and negligent,
+not to say presumptuous, in bringing to such a personage and such a
+beard, trays, wooden troughs, and dishclouts, instead of ewers and
+golden basons, and towels of the finest holland: but the case is, you
+are base-born miscreants, and like caitiffs as you are, cannot forbear
+shewing the grudge you bear to the squires of knights errant.’ The whole
+scullion ministry, as well as the major-domo, who came in with them,
+believed her grace was actually in earnest, and sneaked away in great
+shame and confusion, after having untied the dishclout from the neck of
+Sancho, who seeing himself delivered from that imminent danger, went and
+fell upon his knees before the duchess, saying—‘From great ladies great
+benefits are expected; and this that I have now received from your
+grace, I can in no other shape repay, than in wishing I were dubbed a
+knight-errant, that I might spend all the days of my life in the service
+of such a noble and exalted lady; a peasant I am, and Sancho Panza by
+name, with a wife and family, and serve in quality of a squire; and if
+in any of these respects I can serve your highness, I shall be more
+speedy in obeying than your grace in laying your commands.’—‘Sancho,’
+replied the duchess, ‘it plainly appears that you have learned
+politeness in the school of courtesy itself; I say, it plainly appears,
+that you have been bred up at the feet of Don Quixote, who is the cream
+of compliment, and flower of ceremony, or, as you term it, Sarah-money:
+long life and prosperity to such a master and such a pupil; one the
+north-pole of knight-errantry, and the other the very star of squirish
+fidelity. Rise, friend Sancho, and I will remunerate your politeness, by
+prevailing upon my Lord Duke to perform his promise of the government
+with all possible dispatch.’
+
+Here the conversation being broke off, the knight retired to take his
+afternoon’s nap[169], and the duchess desired Sancho, if he was not very
+much disposed to sleep, to go and pass the evening with her and her
+women, in a very cool and pleasant apartment. Sancho told her, that
+although it was really his custom to sleep for four or five hours every
+afternoon in the heat of summer, yet, for the satisfaction of her
+grace’s goodness, he would that day strive, with all his might, to keep
+himself awake, and obey her commands in all things: he accordingly
+attended her steps; while the duke gave fresh directions for treating
+Don Quixote as a real knight-errant, without deviating one tittle from
+the stile in which the ancient knights are said to have been
+entertained.
+
+END OF BOOK II. PART II.
+
+Footnote 166:
+
+ Sayago is a district in the kingdom of Leon, the inhabitants of which
+ were extremely poor, and very meanly cloathed.
+
+Footnote 167:
+
+ In Spain and Italy there is, upon every Holy Thursday, a procession of
+ disciplinants, or people who do penance in sackcloth, carrying a
+ flambeau in one hand, and in the other a scourge, with which they
+ belabour their own shoulders, in such a manner, that the very street
+ is sometimes coloured with their blood: some of these disciplinants,
+ however, are mere hypocrites, who under their sackcloth wear women’s
+ stay’s, buff jackets, and even plates of tin; so that they are often
+ detected from the sound of the stroke: and at Rome nothing is more
+ common than to hear the people who accompany these devotees, call out,
+ according to the report of the application, ‘_Guipponi di
+ Buffalo!—Busti di Donna!_ and _Corrazini di Latta!_’
+
+Footnote 168:
+
+ ‘_Su alma en su palma._’ The original expression literally signifies,
+ ‘His soul is in his hand,’ i. e. ‘He is at his own discretion.’
+
+Footnote 169:
+
+ In Spain the people always retire after dinner, and sleep till six
+ o’clock, whence the afternoon’s nap is called _siesta_.
+
+
+
+
+ BOOK III.
+
+
+ CHAP. I.
+ OF THE PLEASANT CONVERSATION THAT PASSED BETWEEN THE DUCHESS,
+ HER WOMEN, AND SANCHO PANZA;
+ WORTHY TO BE READ AND REMEMBERED.
+
+
+The history then relates, that Sancho did not sleep that afternoon; but,
+according to his promise, went, eating all the way, into the apartment
+of the duchess, who took great delight in hearing his conversation, and
+desired him to sit close by her on a joint-stool, though the squire, out
+of pure good-breeding, begged to be excused; but her grace told him, he
+should sit as governor, and speak as squire, for in both capacities he
+deserved the individual seat of the champion Cid Roy Dias.
+
+[Illustration: Sancho Panza and the Duchess and Her Ladies.]
+
+
+Sancho, shrugging up his shoulders, obeyed and took his place,
+surrounded by all the damsels and duennas, who listened with profound
+silence and attention. Nevertheless, the duchess was the first who began
+the discourse, saying—‘Now that we are by ourselves, unheard by any
+body, I must entreat Mr. Governor, to resolve certain doubts of mine,
+produced by the printed history of the great Don Quixote; one of which
+doubts is this: as honest Sancho never saw Dulcinea, I mean, the Lady
+Dulcinea del Toboso, nor conveyed to her the letter of Signior Don
+Quixote, which remained with the memorandum book in Sierra Morena, how
+durst he feign an answer, and pretend that he found her winnowing wheat,
+a circumstance altogether ridiculous and untrue, so much to the
+prejudice of the peerless Dulcinea’s reputation, and so ill becoming the
+station and fidelity of a trusty squire?’
+
+Without making any immediate answer to this interrogation, Sancho rose
+from his seat, and moving softly on his tiptoes, with his body bent, and
+a finger on his lips, examined the whole apartment, lifting up and
+looking behind the tapestry; and this scrutiny being made, returned to
+his stool, and replied—‘Now, my Lady Duchess, that I am assured there is
+no skulker listening, and that we are not overheard by any but this good
+company, I will, without fear or trembling, answer all the questions of
+your grace; and first and foremost, I will own, I look upon my master
+Don Quixote as an incurable madman; although sometimes he says things,
+which, to my thinking, and in the opinion of all who hear them, are so
+sensible and well-directed, that even Satan himself could not mend them:
+nevertheless, I am really and truly, and without any scruple, fully
+persuaded within myself, that he is downright distracted. Now as I am
+possessed with this notion, I venture to make him believe any story,
+without either head or tail, like that of the answer to his letter, and
+another trick that I played him six or eight days ago, which is not yet
+recorded in the history; I mean, the enchantment of Donna Dulcinea,
+which I palmed upon him, though it was a tale as wild and uncertain as
+the hills of Ubeda[170].’
+
+The duchess desired he would recount that enchantment or deception; and
+he accordingly related it exactly as it happened, to the no small
+entertainment of the hearers; but when he was about to proceed in his
+discourse, her grace interposing, said—‘From this recital of honest
+Sancho, a scruple has started in my mind, and whispers me in the ear,
+since Don Quixote de La Mancha is so lunatick, crazy, and mad, and his
+squire Sancho Panza, who knows his infirmity, nevertheless serves and
+follows him, and even depends upon his vain promises; the said squire
+must, without all doubt, be more crazy and mad than his master; and if
+this be the case, as it certainly is, it would be no great sign of
+wisdom in you, my Lady Duchess, to bestow an island on such a governor;
+for how will he be able to govern other people, who cannot govern
+himself?’
+
+‘’Fore God, my lady,’ cried the squire, ‘your scruple starts in the
+right place; and I beg your ladyship will let it speak out in its own
+way, for I know it speaks truth. Had I been wise, I should have left my
+master long ago; but this was my fate and my misventure: I cannot do
+otherwise, but follow him I must. We are of the same town; I have eaten
+of his bread; I have an affection for him; he returns me his love, and
+has given me his colts; but, above all, I am constant and faithful, and
+therefore nothing can possibly part us but the sexton’s shovel. If your
+highness does not chuse to perform your promise of the island, God made
+me of a less matter, and perhaps your refusal may turn out to the ease
+of my conscience; for maugre all my madness, I understand the proverb
+that says, The pismire found wings to her sorrow: and perhaps Sancho the
+Squire may get sooner to heaven than Governor Sancho; There’s as good
+bread baked here as in France; and By night all cats are grey; and sure,
+The man his lot may rue, who has not broke his fast by two; Between man
+and man the maw cannot differ a span; and, as the saying is, With hay or
+with straw we’ll fill up the craw; The little birds of the field have
+God for their steward and shield; Four yards of coarse Cuenca stuff are
+warmer than as much of fine Segovia serge; When we leave this world and
+are laid in the ground, the Lord goes in as narrow a path as his
+labourer; and, The pope’s body takes up no more room than the sexton’s;
+for though the one be higher than the other, When we go to the pit, we
+must lie snug, and make it fit; or, We shall be obliged to find room,
+though scanty is the tomb: and so good night. Wherefore, I say again, if
+your grace will not give me the island, because I’m a fool, I shall be
+so wise as not to break my heart at the disappointment; and I have often
+heard, that the devil skulks behind the cross; It is not all gold that
+glitters; and that, From his oxen, his yokes, and his ploughs, Bamba the
+husbandman was raised to the throne of Spain; and that from his riches,
+pastime, and embroidery, Rodorigo was taken to be devoured by serpents,
+if the rhimes of old ballads do not lye.’
+
+Here Donna Rodriguez the duenna, who was one of the hearers,
+interposing, ‘Wherefore should they lye?’ said she, ‘for the ballad says
+as how they thrust King Rodorigo all alive into a tomb full of toads,
+lizards, and snakes; and two days after, he was heard to cry with a weak
+and doleful voice, “Now they eat me! now they gnaw the part in which I
+sinned so heinously!” And therefore the gentleman is in the right to say
+he would rather be a husbandman than a king, to be devoured by vermin.’
+
+The duchess could neither help laughing at the simplicity of her duenna,
+nor admiring the discourse and proverbs of Sancho, to whom she
+replied—‘Honest Sancho very well knows whatsoever a knight promises must
+be fulfilled, even though it should cost him his life; now, my lord and
+husband the duke, though no errant, is, nevertheless, a knight; and
+therefore will perform his promise of the island, in spite of all the
+envy and malice of the world; let Sancho, then, be of good cheer; for
+when he least thinks of the matter, he will see himself seated in the
+saddle of his island and dominion, and grasp his government, which he
+would not exchange for one of superfine brocade; but I charge him to
+mind how he governs his vassals, who, I give him notice, are all people
+of honest parents and approved loyalty.’
+
+‘With respect to their being happy under my government,’ said the
+squire, ‘you need not give me any thing in charge; for I am naturally
+charitable and compassionate towards the poor; and, From him who can
+knead and bake, it is not easy to steal a cake. By my salvation, they
+shall not pass false dice upon me! I am an old dog, not to be taken in
+with, “Come hither, poor Tray[171].” I know how to snuff my peepers upon
+proper occasions; nor will I consent to walk with cobwebs in my eyes;
+for I know where the shoe pinches. This I observe, because the righteous
+shall always have the benefit of my heart and hand, but the wicked shall
+have neither foot nor footing. In my opinion, every governor must have a
+beginning in the art and mystery of government, and perhaps, in a
+fortnight’s administration, I shall lick my fingers after the office,
+and know as much of the matter as I do of day-labour, to which I was
+bred.’
+
+‘Sancho,’ said the duchess, ‘you are certainly in the right; for no man
+was ever a scholar at his birth; and bishops are made of men, and not of
+blocks, but to return to our former discourse about the inchantment of
+the Lady Dulcinea; I take it for an absolute certainty, and not a bare
+asseveration, that Sancho’s scheme of deceiving his master, and making
+him believe that the country wench was Dulcinea, whom the knight could
+not know, because she was inchanted; I say, this scheme was altogether
+the invention of one of those inchanters who persecute Don Quixote; for
+I know, from very good authority, that the village maiden who skipped
+upon the ass, was really and truly the individual Dulcinea del Toboso;
+and that Sancho, in thinking himself the deceiver, was, in fast, the
+person deceived: a truth of which we ought no more to doubt, than of
+things we never saw; for Signior Sancho Panza must know, that here also
+we have friendly inchanters, who, out of real regard, impart to us every
+thing that passes, truly and distinctly, without circumlocution or
+deceit; and therefore, Sancho may believe me, when I affirm, that the
+jumping wench was, and is, Dulcinea del Toboso, who is as much inchanted
+as the mother that bore her; and when we dream of no such thing, we
+shall see her in her own shape, and then Sancho will be undeceived.’
+
+‘There is nothing more likely,’ cried the squire; ‘and now I am apt to
+believe my master’s account of the cave of Montesinos, where he saw my
+Lady Dulcinea del Toboso, dressed in the same manner that I described,
+when I inchanted her for my own amusement. Now, the whole affair must
+have been quite the reverse, as your ladyship observes; for it cannot be
+supposed that my ignorant pate could contrive, in an instant, such an
+ingenious stratagem; nor can I think my master such a fool, as upon my
+weak and meagre persuasion, to believe such an improbable device; but
+for all that, my lady, your goodness ought not to take me for an
+evil-minded person, seeing a blockhead, like me, is not obliged to bore
+into the designs and knavery of abominable inchanters. I contrived the
+scheme, in order to escape the displeasure of my master Don Quixote, and
+not with any design to do him hurt; and if it has turned out otherwise,
+there’s a Judge in heaven who knows the heart.’—‘Very true,’ answered
+the duchess; ‘but tell me now, Sancho, the story of the cave of
+Montesinos, which I shall be extremely glad to hear.’
+
+Then Sancho Panza recounted every circumstance of that adventure, as it
+hath been already related; and her grace having heard the whole—‘From
+this incident,’ said she, ‘we may infer, that since the great Don
+Quixote says he beheld in that place the same country wench whom Sancho
+saw in the neighbourhood of Toboso, it could be no other than Dulcinea,
+and that the inchanters of this country are very officious, and
+extremely curious.’—‘This I will venture to say,’ replied Panza, ‘that
+if my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso is really inchanted, ’tis her own loss,
+and that it is no business of mine to enter the lists with my master’s
+enemies, who are certainly both wicked and numerous. True it is, she I
+saw was a country-wench, for such I took her, and such I judged her to
+be. If that was Dulcinea, it ought not to be laid to my charge, nor am I
+to be blackened for that reason; yet I must be lugged in, at every bawdy
+house bench, with “Sancho said this; Sancho did that; Sancho went, and
+Sancho came!” as if Sancho were just such as they would please to make
+him, and not the very same Sancho Panza who has already travelled all
+the world over in books, as I have been informed by Samson Carrasco, who
+is, at least, a batcheleering person of Salamanca; and such people
+cannot tell an untruth, except when it comes into their heads, or will
+turn to their account; wherefore, nobody has any right to meddle with
+me; and seeing I live in good repute, and I have heard my master say, A
+good name is better than tons of wealth, even shove me into this
+government, and they shall see marvellous things; for he who has been a
+good squire, will never become a bad governor.’
+
+‘All that honest Sancho has uttered,’ said the duchess, ‘is Catonian
+wisdom, or at least the very essence of Michael Verino[172],
+_Florentibus occidit annis_. In a word, to speak in his own stile, A
+good drinker is often found under a rusty cloak.’—‘In sober truth, my
+Lady,’ answered Sancho, ‘I never in my life drank out of malice; from
+thirst I might, for I have not the least spice of hypocrisy in my belly;
+I drink when I chuse it, and even when I would rather be excused,
+because I am desired so to do, that I may not seem shy or ill-bred; for
+sure he must have an heart of marble who can refuse to pledge a friend;
+for though I put on my shoes, I will not defile them; especially, as the
+squires of knights-errant usually drink water, as they are always
+strolling through forests, woods, and meadows, and over rocks and
+mountains, without finding the smallest charity of wine, even though one
+should offer to purchase it with an eye.’—‘I believe what you say,’
+answered the duchess: ‘at present Sancho may go to rest; and we shall
+afterwards talk more at large upon these subjects, and take order that
+with all convenient dispatch he may be, to use his own words, shoved
+into that same government.’
+
+Sancho kissed his hands again, and begged her grace would be so good as
+to give directions about the entertainment of Dapple, who was the light
+of his eyes. When she asked, what he meant by Dapple—‘My ass,’ replied
+the squire, ‘whom, rather than use the vulgar term, I call Dapple: when
+I first came to the castle, I desired Madam Duenna here to take care of
+him; and truly she was as much affronted as if I had called her ugly and
+old; though I think it would be more natural and proper for duennas to
+look after cattle, than to regulate rooms of state. God’s my life! what
+a spite a gentleman of our town had to these waiting-gentlewomen.’—‘He
+must be some ill-bred clown,’ said Donna Rodriguez the duenna; ‘for had
+he been a gentleman of birth, he would have exalted them above the horns
+of the moon.’—‘Enough, for the present,’ resumed the duchess: ‘hold your
+tongue, Donna Rodriguez, and let Signior Panza make himself perfectly
+easy, and leave me to take special care of Dapple, whom, as being a
+moveable appertaining to Sancho, I will place him above the apple of
+mine eye.’—‘The stable is a place good enough for him,’ answered the
+squire; ‘for neither he nor I are worthy of being placed for one moment
+above the apple of your highness’s eye; and I will as soon consent to
+his being disposed of in that manner, as I would to drive a dagger in my
+breast; for although, as my master says, in point of courtesy, one ought
+to lose the game by a card too much, rather than by a card too little;
+in respect to asses, and the apple of an eye, one ought to proceed
+cautiously with the compass in his hand, and measure as he goes.’
+
+‘Sancho may conduct him to his government,’ said the duchess, ‘and there
+entertain him to his heart’s content; nay, even infranchise him from all
+labour.’—‘Your grace, my Lady Duchess, needs not think much of that,’
+replied the squire; ‘for I have seen more than one or two asses go to
+governments; and therefore it will be no new practice if I carry Dapple
+to mine.’
+
+This remark renewed the laughter and satisfaction of the duchess, who
+having dismissed him to his repose, went to communicate the conversation
+to the duke; and this noble couple contrived and gave directions about
+the execution of a pleasant joke upon Don Quixote, which should turn out
+a famous incident, and be conformable in all respects to the stile of
+chivalry; in which they invented a number, with such propriety and
+discretion, that they are counted the best adventures contained in this
+important history.
+
+Footnote 170:
+
+ This is an expression proverbially applied to any story that is vague,
+ inconsistent, or of dubious authority; for the hills of Ubeda make an
+ extensive chain, the different parts of which are differently
+ denominated, from the different countries or districts through which
+ it extends; so that the whole is not easily ascertained.
+
+Footnote 171:
+
+ In the original, ‘And thoroughly understand “_Tus, tus_”’; which is an
+ expression in Spain, to wheedle a cur.
+
+Footnote 172:
+
+ A young Florentine, of great genius, who died in the seventeenth year
+ of his age, and was lamented by all the poets of his time.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. II.
+ WHICH GIVES AN ACCOUNT OF THE INFORMATION RECEIVED,
+ TOUCHING THE MEANS FOR DISINCHANTING
+ THE PEERLESS DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO:
+ ONE OF THE MOST RENOWNED ADVENTURES OF THIS BOOK.
+
+
+Great was the satisfaction which the duke and duchess received from the
+conversation of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza; and being confirmed in
+their design of practising some jokes, which should bear a faint shadow
+and appearance of adventures, they took the hint for a very
+extraordinary contrivance, from the knight’s account of what had
+happened to him in the cave of Montesinos: but what mostly excited the
+admiration of the duchess, was the amazing simplicity of Sancho, who was
+by this time brought to believe, as an infallible truth, the inchantment
+of Dulcinea, though he himself was the only inchanter and projector of
+that whole stratagem. Their graces having given directions to the
+servants, touching the execution of the scheme they had laid, at the end
+of six days they went forth to hunt the wild boar, with as great an
+apparatus of hunters and spearmen as used to attend the king in person.
+Don Quixote was presented with a hunting suit, and Sancho received
+another of superfine green cloth; but the knight excused himself from
+accepting the present, observing that, in a few days, he should be
+obliged to resume the rugged exercise of arms, and therefore could not
+encumber himself with baggage and wardrobes; as for the squire, he took
+that which was offered to him, without scruple, intending to sell it
+with the first opportunity.
+
+On the morning of the appointed day, Don Quixote armed himself at all
+points, Sancho put on his green suit, and mounting Dapple, which he
+would not exchange for the best steed in the stable, mingled among the
+troop of hunters: the duchess came forth very gaily caparisoned, and the
+knight, out of pure courtesy and good breeding, would have held the
+reins of her palfrey; but the duke would not consent to his performing
+such an office. At length they arrived at a wood, between two very high
+mountains, where the disposition being made, the toils set, and the
+people distributed in their different posts, the hunt began with a vast
+noise of hallooing and crying, and nothing could be distinctly heard for
+the barking of the dogs and the sound of the horns. The duchess
+alighted, and with a pointed boar-spear in her hand, took post in a
+place through which she knew the wild beasts were used to come; the duke
+and Don Quixote likewise dismounting, posted themselves on each side of
+her grace, while Sancho stayed in the rear, without parting from Dapple,
+whom he durst not quit, lest some misfortune should happen to that
+darling beast.
+
+Scarce had they set foot on ground, and taken their stations, supported
+by a number of servants, when they beheld a monstrous boar baited by the
+dogs and pursued by the hunters, running towards them, gnashing his
+teeth and tusks, and foaming at the mouth. The knight no sooner
+perceived this savage, than bracing his shield and unsheathing his
+sword, he advanced to receive him; while the duke did the same with his
+boar-spear; but the duchess would have been the foremost of the three,
+had she not been restrained by her lord. Sancho alone seeing this
+furious animal, forsook his friend Dapple, and running full speed, in
+order to climb a lofty oak, found his endeavours altogether ineffectual;
+for having surmounted one half of the ascent, the branch on which he
+stood struggling to gain the top, unfortunately gave way, and in
+falling, he was caught by another stump of the tree, so that he hung
+dangling in the air, without being able to reach the ground. Perceiving
+himself thus suspended, that his green suit was torn, and supposing that
+if the wild boar should come up, he would be able to seize him as he
+hung, he began to utter such doleful cries, and roar so hideously for
+assistance, that all those who heard his clamour, without seeing his
+situation, actually believed he was in the jaws of some savage beast. At
+length the tusky boar being pierced and killed by the number of spears
+that opposed him, Don Quixote turned about his head, in consequence of
+Sancho’s cries, by which he recognized his faithful squire, whom he saw
+hanging from the oak, with his head downwards, and hard by he perceived
+Dapple, who did not forsake him in his calamity: and Cid Hamet observes,
+that he very seldom saw Sancho without Dapple, or Dapple without Sancho,
+such was the friendship and fidelity subsisting between them. Don
+Quixote immediately advanced and unhooked Sancho; who finding himself
+delivered, and fairly placed upon firm ground, examined the rent in his
+hunting-suit, which grieved him to the soul; for in that dress he
+thought he had obtained an invaluable inheritance.
+
+About this time they laid the mighty boar across a sumpter mule, and
+covering him with sprigs of myrtle and rosemary, carried him in triumph,
+as the spoils of victory, to a large field-tent, pitched in the middle
+of the wood, where they found the cloth ready laid, and the table
+furnished with such a grand and sumptuous entertainment as well bespoke
+the wealth and magnificence of the founder. Sancho presenting to the
+duchess the skirts of his torn suit—‘If,’ said he, ‘this had been hare
+or sparrow-hunting, my coat would have been secure from this unlucky
+accident; for my own part, I do not know what pleasure there is in
+attacking an animal, which, if he can once fasten his tusks on you, will
+deprive you of life. I remember to have heard people sing an old ballad,
+that says—
+
+ ‘“May bears upon thy carcase feed,
+ As erst on Fabila they did.”’
+
+‘That was a Gothick king,’ said Don Quixote, ‘who in going to the chace,
+was devoured by a bear.’—‘That is the very thing I say,’ replied the
+squire, ‘I would not have kings and noblemen run themselves into such
+dangers, for the enjoyment of a diversion which, in my opinion, hardly
+deserves the name, as it consists in murdering a poor beast that never
+committed any crime.’—‘There, Sancho, you are mistaken,’ said the duke,
+‘for the exercise of hunting wild-beasts is of all others the most
+necessary and suitable to kings and noblemen. The chace is a picture of
+war, comprehending schemes, feints, and stratagems, for taking advantage
+of the enemy; by this we are enabled to endure extreme cold and
+excessive heat, to contemn ease and undervalue sleep; our bodies acquire
+strength, and our limbs agility; in a word, it is an exercise that
+affords pleasure to numbers, and does prejudice to none; and what
+renders it superior to all others is, that it cannot be enjoyed by every
+body, like all the other kinds of sport, except hawking, which is also
+peculiar to sovereigns and persons of rank; you must therefore alter
+your opinion, Sancho, and when you are governor, employ yourself in the
+chace, which you will find of incredible service.[173]’—‘Surely, that
+cannot be,’ answered the squire; ‘a good governor will stay at home, as
+if he had a broken bone. It would look rarely indeed, if, when people
+fatigued with a journey, come to visit him upon business, he should be
+taking his diversion upon the hills; in that case the government would
+go to wreck. In good faith, my lord, such pastime is more proper for
+idle folks than for governors: I intend, God willing, to amuse myself
+with a game at cards at Easter, and with nine pins on Sundays and
+holidays; for as to these chaces or cases, they neither suit my
+condition, nor agree with my confidence.’—‘God grant Sancho may behave
+as he says he will,’ replied the duke; ‘but there is a wide difference
+between saying and doing.’—‘Let it be as wide as it pleases,’ cried
+Sancho. ‘A good paymaster needs no pawn; God’s blessing is better than
+early rising; and, The belly is carried by the feet, and not the feet by
+the belly; I mean, that with God’s assistance, and a righteous
+intention, I shall certainly be able to govern like any goshawk; aye,
+aye, let them thrust their fingers in my mouth, and they shall see
+whether or no I can bite.’
+
+‘The curse of God, and all his saints, light on thee, accursed babbler!’
+cried Don Quixote: ‘will that day never come, as I have often said, when
+I shall hear thee speak sensibly and distinctly, without lugging in old
+saws?—My Lord and Lady Duchess, I entreat your graces to let that madman
+alone; otherwise he will grind your souls, not between two but two
+thousand proverbs, dragged in as much to the purpose, and as seasonably
+as I wish God may give him health, or me protection, if I desire to hear
+them.’—‘The proverbs of Sancho Panza,’ said the duchess, ‘though more in
+number than those of the Greek commentator, are not the less to be
+esteemed for the conciseness of the apophthegms. I can safely say for
+myself, that they give me much more pleasure than I should receive from
+others, though better culled and more suitable to the occasion.’
+
+In the midst of this and other such savoury conversation, they quitted
+the tent, to examine some snares they had laid; in which amusement the
+day was soon elapsed, and was succeeded by the night, which did not
+appear so serene and composed as it might have been expected at the
+season of the year, which was midsummer, but along with it came a
+certain _darkness visible_, which greatly assisted the design of the
+duke and duchess. When the night, therefore, began to fall, a little
+after the twilight, all of a sudden the four quarters of the wood seemed
+to be on fire, and here and there, and every where, they heard an
+infinite number of cornets and other warlike instruments, as if a great
+number of cavalry had been marching through the wood; so that the light
+of the flames, and the sound of those warlike instruments, dazzled and
+astonished the eyes and ears of the bye-standers, and indeed of all the
+people in the wood. This noise was succeeded by innumerable _lelilles_,
+or cries used by the Moors in battle; the trumpets and clarions exalted
+their brazen throats, the drums rattled, and the fires resounded all
+together, in such a continued and alarming concert, that the man must
+have been utterly devoid of all sense who did not lose it in consequence
+of such confusion and uproar. The duke was confounded, the duchess
+amazed, Don Quixote astonished, Sancho Panza affrighted; and, finally,
+even those who were let into the secret, seemed to be seized with
+consternation, which produced among them a most dreary silence.
+
+During this pause, came a postillion dressed, like a devil, and instead
+of a cornet, blew an unmeasurable horn, which yielded an hoarse and
+dreadful sound. ‘Holla! brother courier,’ cried the duke, ‘who are you?
+where are you going? and what troops are those that seem to march across
+the wood?’ To these interrogations the courier replied, in a dismal,
+hollow tone—‘I am the devil, going in quest of Don Quixote de La Mancha;
+those who follow are six troops of inchanters, who bring upon a
+triumphant car the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso inchanted, accompanied
+by the gallant Frenchman Montesinos, to instruct Don Quixote in a
+certain method for disinchanting the said Lady Dulcinea.’—‘If you were
+the devil,’ answered the duke, ‘as you say you are, and your figure
+seems to declare, you would have distinguished that same knight Don
+Quixote de La Mancha, who now stands before you.’—‘’Fore God! and upon
+my conscience,’ cried the devil, ‘I did not see him; for my thoughts are
+so much distracted by different avocations, that I had forgot the
+principal aim of my coming.’—‘Without doubt,’ said Sancho, ‘that devil
+must be an honest man, and a good Christian, otherwise he would not
+swear, ’Fore God, and on my conscience! Now I am fully convinced that
+there must be some worthy people even in hell.’
+
+Then the courier, without alighting, fixed his eyes upon Don Quixote,
+and pronounced—‘To thee, the Knight of the Lions (and would I might see
+thee in their clutches) am I sent by the unfortunate though valiant
+knight Montesinos, who commanded me to desire, in his name, that thou
+wouldst wait on the very spot where I should find thee, because he
+brings along with him one Dulcinea del Toboso, in order to communicate
+what will be necessary towards her disinchantment; and as this message
+was the sole cause of my coming, there is no cause that requires my
+longer stay. Devils like me be with thee, and good angels guard that
+noble pair!’ So saying, he sounded his dreadful horn, and rode off,
+without waiting for the least reply.
+
+This address renewed the astonishment of all present, especially of
+Sancho and Don Quixote; of Sancho, because, in despite of truth, he saw
+they were resolved that Dulcinea should be inchanted; and of Don
+Quixote, because he could not be certain of the truth of what had
+happened to him in the cave of Montesinos. While he was wrapped in these
+meditations, the duke accosted him, saying—‘Signior Don Quixote, do you
+intend to wait?’—‘Wherefore not?’ replied the knight; ‘here will I wait,
+courageous and intrepid, though all hell should come to assault
+me.’—‘Then, for my part,’ cried Sancho, ‘if I see another devil, and
+hear another horn like that which passed, I should as soon wait here as
+in Flanders.’
+
+About this time the night being more advanced, a number of lights began
+to gleam through the wood, like the dry exhalations of the earth that
+glide through the air, and are mistaken by ignorant people for shooting
+stars: their fears were likewise invaded by a frightful sound, like that
+occasioned by the massy wheels of waggons drawn by oxen; an harsh and
+grating noise, from which the very bears and wolves (if any chance to be
+in the way) are said to fly with terror. This uproar was succeeded by
+another more terrible than all the rest; for all at once, at the four
+corners of the wood, there really seemed to be four encounters or
+battles: in one place was heard the horrid din of cannon; in another a
+vast number of muskets were fired; here resounded the cries of the
+combatants; there the Moorish _lelilles_ were repeated with vast
+vociferation. In a word, the cornets, horns, bugles, clarions, trumpets,
+drums, artillery, and musketry, but, above all, the dismal noise of the
+cars, formed all together such a confused and horrible concert, that Don
+Quixote was obliged to recollect his whole courage, in order to bear it
+without emotion; but Sancho’s heart died within him, and down he came in
+a swoon upon the train of the duchess, who received him as he fell, and
+with marks of great concern, ordered her servants to throw water in his
+face: in consequence of this application, he recovered, just as one of
+the waggons with the creaking wheels came up to the place where they
+stood. It was drawn by four lazy oxen, wholly covered with black
+trappings, with a large lighted taper tied to each horn, and in the
+waggon was raised a lofty seat, on which sat a venerable old man, with a
+beard as white as snow itself, that flowed down below his middle, and a
+large loose garment of black buckram; for the waggon being stuck full of
+lights, it was easy to observe and distinguish every thing that it
+contained. It was conducted by two ugly devils clad also in buckram,
+with such hideous features, that Sancho no sooner saw them than he shut
+his eyes, that they might not encounter such frightful objects. This
+carriage being come up, the venerable senior rose up from his lofty
+seat, and pronounced aloud—‘I am the sage Lirgandeo.’ He said no more;
+and the waggon proceeded. Another carriage followed in the same manner,
+with another old man inthroned, who ordering the waggon to stop, said
+with a voice as solemn as the first—‘I am the sage Alquife, the great
+friend of Urganda the unknown.’ And so the carriage proceeded. Then a
+third approached in the same stile: but he who possessed this throne,
+instead of being old like the others, was a robust man of a very
+disagreeable aspect, who rising from his seat, like the other two,
+exclaimed in a more hoarse and diabolical tone—‘I am the inchanter
+Arcalaus, the mortal enemy of Amadis de Gaul, and his whole race.’ And
+so the carriage passed on; but when they had proceeded a little way, the
+three waggons halted, then ceased the dismal creaking of the wheels, and
+no other sound was heard but that of an agreeable musical concert, which
+rejoiced the heart of Sancho, who took it as a good omen, and in that
+persuasion said to the duchess, from whom he had not budged an hair’s
+breadth—‘My Lady Duchess, where there is musick there can be no
+harm.’—‘As little should we expect any harm where there is light and
+illumination,’ answered the duchess. ‘And yet,’ replied the squire, ‘we
+may be easily burnt by such torches and bonfires as these,
+notwithstanding all the light and illuminations they produced; but
+musick is always a sign of joy and feasting.’—‘Time will shew,’ said Don
+Quixote, who overheard the conversation; and he said well, as will
+appear in the following chapter.
+
+Footnote 173:
+
+ Literally, ‘And you shall see it will be worth a loaf that will serve
+ a hundred.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. III.
+ BEING A CONTINUATION OF WHAT WAS IMPARTED TO DON QUIXOTE,
+ TOUCHING THE MEANS FOR DISINCHANTING
+ DULCINEA—WITH AN ACCOUNT OF OTHER SURPRIZING INCIDENTS.
+
+
+Moving to the sound of this agreeable musick, came one of those
+carriages, called triumphal cars, drawn by six grey mules, covered with
+white linen, and upon each was mounted a penitent of light[174], clad
+also in white, with a large lighted wax taper in his hand. The car was
+twice, nay thrice as large as the carriages which had passed, and the
+tops and sides were occupied by twelve other penitents as white as snow,
+with their lighted tapers: a sight that excited equal terror and
+surprise. Seated on a lofty throne appeared a nymph, habited in robes of
+silver tissue, bespangled with innumerable leaves of gold brocade; so
+that her dress, if not rich, was extremely gaudy; her face was covered
+with a delicate and transparent veil of fine tiffany, the plaits of
+which could not conceal the beauteous features of a young lady; and the
+number of lights enabled the spectators to distinguish her charms and
+her age, which seemed to be turned of seventeen, but under twenty. Close
+by her appeared a figure clad in what is called a robe of state, that
+reached to his feet; and his head was muffled in a black veil. The cart
+had no sooner come opposite to the duke and duchess and Don Quixote,
+than the musick of the waits, the harps, and lutes, ceased all at once;
+then this figure rising, threw aside his robe, and taking off the veil,
+disclosed to view the horrible and incarnate form of death; at sight of
+which Don Quixote was startled, Sancho overwhelmed with fear, and the
+duke and duchess exhibited some affected marks of consternation.
+
+This living death standing upright, began, with a languid voice and
+tongue, but half awake, to repeat the following address—
+
+ ‘I Merlin am, by histories bely’d.
+ That represent the devil as my fire:
+ A falshood sanction’d by the lapse of time.
+ I am the prince of magick, in whose breast
+ The Zoroastrick science lies intomb’d:
+ The rival of invidious Time, whose wings
+ Still seek to shade and darken all exploits
+ Atchiev’d by the illustrious errant knights,
+ For whom my friendship glows, and ever glow’d.
+
+ ‘Tho’ all my fellows of th’inchanting tribe,
+ The magi and magicians, ever nurs’d
+ A disposition barbarous and harsh,
+ Mine still was tender, gentle, and humane,
+ A friend to all the various race of man.
+ In the profoundest cave of gloomy Dis,
+ Where my industrious spirit was employ’d
+ In forming mystick characters and spells,
+ Mine ears were wounded with the wailing cries
+ Of fam’d Dulcinea, that matchless fair.
+
+ ‘I learn’d her strange inchantment, and condol’d
+ Her transformation from a gentle nymph
+ To the vile figure of a rustick wench.
+ And hundred thousand volumes I perus’d,
+ Fraught with the dark and diabolick art;
+ Then in the horrible and ghastly trunk
+ Of this dry skeleton my soul enclosed:
+ And now I come on purpose to impart
+ An easy remedy for her mishap.
+
+ ‘O thou! the glory of all knights who wear
+ Impervious coats of mail and adamant;
+ Thou light and lanthorn, path, and north, and guide
+ Of all who quit the drowsy joys of sloth,
+ And starting from the lazy down, embrace
+ Th’ intolerable use and exercise
+ Of rude, unwieldy, sanguinary arms:
+ To thee I speak, great chief, whose valiant deeds
+ So far transcend the loudest blast of fame.
+
+ ‘Quixote, for courage and discretion fam’d,
+ La Mancha’s mirrour, and the star of Spain,
+ In order to recover and restore
+ Thy peerless mistress to her former state,
+ Sancho, thy faithful squire, must undergo
+ Three thousand and three hundred stripes, apply’d
+ To his posteriors, passively expos’d;
+ And he himself must wield the pliant scourge
+ And start, and smart, and tingle with the pain.
+ Thus stands th’ irrevocable doom pronounc’d
+ By the fell authors of her dire mischance;
+ And on this errand, gentles, am I come.’
+
+‘I vow to God!’ cried Sancho at this period, ‘not to mention three
+thousand, I will as soon give myself three stabs with a dagger as three
+single stripes with a scourge. Now, devil take such ways of
+disenchanting! I cannot conceive what my buttocks have to do with
+inchantments. Before God! if Signior Merlin can find no other method for
+disinchanting my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso, he may e’en go enchanted to
+her grave.’—‘Hark ye, Don Garlick-eating rustick,’ said Don Quixote, ‘I
+shall take and tie you to a tree, naked as your mother bore you, and not
+to mention three thousand three hundred, give you six thousand six
+hundred lashes, so well laid on, that three thousand three hundred
+twitches shall not pull them off; and answer me not a syllable, or I
+will tear thy soul from thy body.’
+
+Merlin hearing this declaration—‘Not so, neither,’ said he; ‘the lashes
+to be received by honest Sancho must be voluntary, not upon compulsion,
+and at his own leisure, for there is no time fixed for the final
+execution; nevertheless, he is so far indulged, that he may be quit for
+one half of the stripes, provided he will allow the other half to be
+inflicted by another hand, though it may chance to be a little
+weighty.’—‘No man’s hand shall touch my flesh! neither another’s, nor my
+own, nor weighty nor unweighed. What a plague! did I, forsooth, bring my
+Lady Dulcinea into the world, that my backside must suffer for the
+transgression of her eyes? My master, indeed, who is a part of her, and
+is continually calling her his life, his soul, his sustenance and
+support, may, and ought to lash himself for her sake, and take with all
+dispatch the necessary steps for her disenchantment; but for me to
+scourge my own body, I denounce it!’
+
+Scarce had Sancho uttered this remonstrance, when the embroidered nymph
+who sat by Merlin’s spirit, rising up, took off her transparent veil,
+and disclosing a face, which to all the spectators seemed more than
+exceedingly beautiful, addressed herself in these words directly to
+Sancho Panza, with a masculine assurance, and a voice that was not
+extremely melodious—‘O ill-conditioned squire! thou soul of a pitcher,
+heart of cork, and bowels of flinty pebbles! hadst thou been commanded,
+thou nose-slaying caitiff, to throw thyself down from a lofty tower;
+hadst thou been desired, thou enemy of human species, to swallow a dozen
+of toads, twice the number of lizards, and three dozen of snakes; hadst
+thou been urged to murder thy wife and children with some sharp and
+ruthless scymitar, it would not have been strange to see thee shy and
+fearful; but to make such objections to three thousand three hundred
+stripes, which there is scarce a naughty boy that does not receive every
+month, astounds, astonishes, and affrights the compassionate bowels of
+all this audience, as well as of all those who shall hear it in the
+future course of time. Turn, O miserable, hard-hearted animal! turn, I
+say, thy mulish goggle eyes upon these balls of mine that emulate the
+glittering stars, and see how they weep, thread by thread, and skein by
+skein, creating trenches, paths, and furrows, through the delightful
+meadows of my cheeks! Wilt thou not relent, thou crafty and malicious
+monster, at seeing me, in the flower of my age, (for I am still in my
+teens, being no more than nineteen, which is one year short of twenty)
+consume and pine within the bark of a homely rustick wench? in which
+form if I do not now appear, it is owing to the particular favour of
+Signior Merlin, who has indulged me so far, that my beauty might melt
+thy savage heart; for the tears of afflicted beauty soften rocks to
+cotton, and transform tygers into gentle lambs. Chastise, chastise,
+obdurate beast, that brawny beef of thine; arouze that slothful spirit
+which inclines thee to nothing but to gorge and regorge thy voracious
+maw, and set at liberty the beauty of my face; and if, for my sake, thou
+wilt not mollify thyself, and listen to any reasonable terms, at least
+relent in favour of that poor knight who stands forlorn at thy elbow; I
+mean, thy master, whose soul I now can see traversed in his throat, not
+above ten fingers breadth from his lips, waiting for nothing but thy
+kind or rigorous reply, in consequence of which it will either leap out
+of his mouth, or retire to his stomach.’
+
+Don Quixote hearing these words, felt his throat, and turning to the
+duke, ‘By Heaven! my lord,’ said he, ‘Dulcinea has spoke truth; for here
+do I feel my soul traversed in my throat, like the nut of a cross-bow.’
+When the duchess asked what Sancho said to that circumstance, ‘I say,’
+replied the squire, ‘what I have said already, that the whipping I
+denounce.’—‘You must call it renounce,’ said the duke, ‘and not
+denounce.’—‘I would your grace would let me alone,’ answered Sancho,
+‘this is no time for me to mind niceties and letters, more or less; for
+I am so confounded at those stripes which I am to receive, or execute
+upon myself, that I neither know what I am saying or doing: yet I should
+be glad to know where my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso learned that manner of
+asking favours. She comes to desire me to tear open my flesh with a
+horse-whip, and calls me soul of a pitcher, obdurate beast, and a whole
+rigmarole of villainous names, which the devil may suffer for me! What a
+plague, is my flesh made of brass; or is it any thing to me, whether she
+is disinchanted or no? What baskets of white linen, shirts, caps, and
+socks, (though I wear none) does she bring to soften me? Nothing but
+abuse upon abuse; without remembering the proverb, that says, An ass
+loaded with gold will skip over a mountain. A generous gift the rock
+will rift. We must fervently pray, and hammer away. I will give thee, is
+good; but, Here, take it, is better. Then, my master, who ought to lead
+me fair and softly by the hand, and persuade me with gentle words to
+whip myself into wool and carded cotton, declares, forsooth, that if he
+should once take me in hand, he will tie me naked to a tree, and double
+the allowance of stripes. These angry gentlemen ought to consider it is
+not only a squire, but a governor whom they desire to flog himself, as
+if it was no more than drinking after cherries. Let them learn, let them
+learn, with a vengeance, how to entreat and beg with good-breeding; for
+all seasons are not the same; and a man is not always in good-humour;
+here am I ready to burst with vexation to see the rent in my green coat,
+and they must needs come and desire me to whip myself with good will,
+when, God knows, I am as far from doing it with good will, as I am from
+turning Turk[175].’
+
+‘Nevertheless, friend Sancho,’ said the duke, ‘if your heart does not
+become softer than a ripe fig, you shall finger no government of mine.
+It would be a fine scheme, indeed, if I should send to my islanders a
+cruel, flinty-hearted governor, who would not melt at the tears of
+damsels in affliction; nor at the entreaties of wise, imperious, ancient
+sages and inchanters! In a word, Sancho, you must either consent to whip
+yourself, or be whipped, or lay aside all thoughts of being a
+governor.’—‘My good lord,’ replied the squire, ‘will not they give me
+two days to consider and determine what will be for the best?’—‘By no
+means,’ cried Merlin: ‘on this very spot, and this very instant, the
+business must be discussed; otherwise Dulcinea will return to the cave
+of Montesinos, and the appearance of a country-wench; whereas, if you
+comply, she will, in her present form, be transported to the Elysian
+fields, where she must reside until the number of the stripes be
+accomplished.’
+
+‘Go to, honest Sancho,’ said the duchess, ‘pluck up your spirits, and
+behave like a grateful squire that has eaten the bread of Signior Don
+Quixote, who is intitled to the service and acknowledgments of us all,
+by his amiable disposition and sublime chivalry. Say Aye, my son, to
+this same flagellation, and let the devil fetch the devil; leave fear to
+the coward; for a stout heart quails misfortune, as you very well know.’
+
+To these exhortations Sancho made no reply; but addressing himself to
+Merlin, with his usual extravagance, ‘Good, your worship, pray tell me,
+Signior Merlin, the meaning of one thing: a certain courier devil came
+here with a message to my master, from Signior Montesinos, desiring him
+to stay in this place until he should come up; for he would teach him a
+way to disinchant my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso; and hitherto we have seen
+no such person?’ To this interrogation Merlin replied, ‘That devil,
+friend Sancho, is an ignorant blockhead, and a very great knave. I sent
+him hither in quest of your master; not with a message from Montesinos,
+but from myself; for Montesinos is still in his cave, planning, or
+rather expecting his disinchantment, the worst of which is still to
+come; but if he owes you any thing, or you have any business to transact
+with him, I will bring you face to face wherever you shall appoint. In
+the mean time, dispatch, and give your consent to this discipline;
+which, I assure you, will greatly redound to the advantage both of your
+soul and body: to your soul, from the charity of the undertaking; and to
+your body, as I know you are of a florid complexion, and will be the
+better for losing a little blood.’
+
+‘What a number of leeches have we got in this world!’ said Sancho; ‘the
+very inchanters are physicians; but since every body says so, although I
+cannot perceive it myself, I am content to give myself three thousand
+three hundred lashes, on condition that I may give them when and where I
+shall think proper, without being confined to any certain time, or rate
+of allowance; and I will endeavour to discharge the debt as soon as
+possible, that the world may enjoy the beauty of the Lady Dulcinea del
+Toboso, since, contrary to my former belief, she appears to be really
+beautiful. I likewise covenant that I shall not be obliged to fetch
+blood with the scourge, and that in case I should chance to be whipped
+by the officers of justice[176], every lash so received shall enter into
+the tale: Item, lest I should commit a mistake in the number, Signior
+Merlin, who knows every thing, shall take care to reckon them, and give
+me to understand how far I have fallen short, or exceeded the appointed
+score.’—‘There will be no occasion to apprize you of the overplus,’ said
+Merlin; ‘for as soon as the number shall be compleated, the Lady
+Dulcinea will be disinchanted, and come, out of pure gratitude, to
+return thanks, and even a recompence to the charitable Sancho for his
+good work. You need not, therefore, make any scruple about the superplus
+or the deficiency; nor will Heaven allow me to defraud any person, even
+of a single hair.’—‘A God’s name, then,’ cried Sancho, ‘I consent in my
+tribulation; I say, I accept of the penance on the conditions
+aforesaid.’
+
+Scarce had Sancho pronounced these last words, when the musick of the
+waits began to play again, and an infinite number of muskets were
+discharged, while Don Quixote, hanging about Sancho’s neck, imprinted a
+world of kisses on his cheeks and forehead; the duke and duchess, and
+all the by-standers, expressed the utmost pleasure, the car began to
+move, and the beauteous Dulcinea, in passing, bowed to their graces, and
+made a profound curtsy to Sancho.
+
+About this time the chearful smiling morn advanced; the flowerets of the
+field, with heads erect, diffused their fragrance; and the liquid
+chrystal of the rills murmuring among the variegated pebbles, went
+sliding on to pay its tribute to the rivers, that waited to receive
+their customary dues: the joyous earth, the splendid firmament, the
+buxom air, and light unclouded; each singly, and all together joined,
+prognosticated plainly, that the day, which trod upon Aurora’s skirts,
+would be serene and fair. The duke and duchess, extremely well satisfied
+with the chace, as well as with the ingenious and fortunate execution of
+their design, returned to the castle, with full intention to perform the
+sequel of their jest, than which no real adventure could have given them
+more delight.
+
+Footnote 174:
+
+ _Disciplinante de lux_, is a cant phrase, applied to those who are
+ exposed to publick shame.
+
+Footnote 175:
+
+ Literally, _cacique_, which was the appellation given to Indian
+ princes.
+
+Footnote 176:
+
+ The other translators have interpreted _mosqueo_ into a fly-flap,
+ which is undoubtedly one of his meanings; but as it likewise signifies
+ flagellation at the cart’s tail, I have taken it in this last
+ acceptation, which, I think, heightens the humour of the passage.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IV.
+ WHICH GIVES AN ACCOUNT OF THE PERILOUS AND INCONCEIVABLE
+ ADVENTURE OF THE AFFLICTED DUENNA,
+ ALIAS THE COUNTESS TRIFALDI—
+ TOGETHER WITH A LETTER WHICH SANCHO PANZA WROTE TO HIS WIFE TERESA
+ PANZA.
+
+
+The duke’s steward was a man of humour and ingenuity, who acted the part
+of Merlin, and adjusted all the apparatus of the foregoing adventure;
+for he composed the verses, and directed a page to represent Dulcinea;
+finally, under the auspices of his lord and lady, he projected another
+of the most agreeable and strange fancy that could possibly be
+conceived.
+
+Next day the duchess asking Sancho if he had begun the task of the
+penance, which he was to undergo for the disinchantment of Dulcinea, he
+answered in the affirmative, and said, he had that same night given
+himself five lashes; but when she enquired about the instrument with
+which they were inflicted, he owned they were applied with his hand.
+‘That is rather clapping than lashing,’ replied her grace; ‘and I take
+it for granted, the sage Merlin will not be content with such delicacy;
+it will be absolutely necessary that honest Sancho should make a scourge
+of briars, or use a switch that will make him feel it; for learning is
+not acquired without pain, and the liberty of such an high-born lady as
+Dulcinea is not to be purchased for a trifle.’ To this remonstrance
+Sancho replied, ‘I wish your grace would lend me some convenient whip,
+or ragged rope’s end, which would do the business without giving me a
+great deal of pain; for I would have your grace to know, that although I
+am a labouring man, my flesh has more of the cotton than the mat weed in
+it; and there is no reason that I should destroy myself for another’s
+advantage.’—‘In good time be it,’ answered the duchess; ‘to-morrow
+morning I will give you a scourge that will fit you to an hair, and
+agree as well with the tenderness of your flesh, as if it was its own
+brother.’
+
+This affair being adjusted, ‘My lady,’ said Sancho Panza, ‘your highness
+must know I have writ a letter to my wife Teresa Panza, giving an
+account of all that hath befallen me since we parted: here it is in my
+bosom, and wants nothing but a superscription. I wish your grace, in
+your great understanding, would read it; for, in my mind, it smacks of
+the governor; I mean, of the manner in which governors ought to
+write.’—‘And who was the inditer?’ said the duchess. ‘Who should indite
+it, sinner that I am, but myself!’ answered the squire. ‘Did you
+likewise write it yourself?’ replied her grace. ‘I did not so much as
+think of any such matter,’ said Sancho; ‘for the truth is, I can neither
+read nor write, though I know very well how to set my mark.’—‘Let us see
+this epistle,’ quoth the duchess, ‘in which, I dare say, you have
+displayed the quality and extent of your understanding.’
+
+Then Sancho pulling an open letter from his bosom, the duchess took and
+read it to this effect.
+
+
+ SANCHO’S LETTER TO HIS WIFE TERESA PANZA.
+
+
+ ‘If I have been finely lashed, I have been well mounted; If I have
+ obtained a good government, it has cost me a good whipping. This,
+ Teresa, thou wilt not now understand, but shalt learn some other
+ opportunity. Know, Teresa, I am determined thou shalt ride in a
+ coach, which is a resolution pat to the purpose; for any other way
+ of travelling is fit for none but cats. A governor’s lady you shall
+ be, and I would fain see the best of them tread upon thy heels. I
+ have sent thee a green hunting suit, which was a present from my
+ Lady Duchess. Make it up into a petticoat and jacket for our
+ daughter. My master Don Quixote, as I have heard in this country, is
+ a sensible madman, and a diverting fool, and I myself am nothing
+ short of him in these respects. We have been in the cave of
+ Montesinos, and the sage Merlin has pitched upon me to disinchant
+ the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso, who in your parts is called Aldonza
+ Lorenzo; with three thousand three hundred stripes, lacking five,
+ which I am to give myself, she will be as much disinchanted as the
+ mother that bore her. Thou shalt not mention a syllable of this to
+ any person whatsoever; for if you go to seek advice about your own
+ concerns, one will say it is white, and another swear ’tis black.’
+
+ A few days hence I shall set out for my government, whither I go
+ with a most outrageous desire of getting money; and I am told, this
+ is the case with all new governors. I will feel the pulse of it, and
+ give thee notice whether or no thou shalt come and live with me.
+
+ Dapple is in good health, and sends his most hearty commendations: I
+ believe I shall not forsake him even if they should make me the
+ Grand Turk. My Lady Duchess kisses thy hand a thousand times: return
+ the compliment with two thousand; for, as my master says, Nothing is
+ so reasonable and cheap as good manners. It has not pleased God that
+ I should stumble upon another portmanteau with a hundred crowns, as
+ heretofore; but let that give thee no uneasiness, my dear Teresa,
+ for he is safe who has good cards to play; and what is amiss will
+ come out in the washing of this same government. One thing, I own,
+ gives me great concern: I am told, that if once I taste it, I shall
+ be apt to eat my fingers; and should that be the case, it will be no
+ cheap bargain; though the lame and the paralytick enjoy a sort of
+ canonry in the alms they receive. Wherefore, one way or another,
+ thou wilt certainly be rich and fortunate. The Lord make thee so, as
+ he very well may, and preserve for thy service thy husband the
+ governor.
+
+ ‘SANCHO PANZA.
+
+ ‘From the Duke’s Castle, July 20, 1614.’
+
+
+The Duchess having read the letter to an end, ‘In two circumstances,’
+said she, ‘the honest governor is a little out of the way. First, in
+saying or insinuating, that the government was bestowed upon him, in
+return for the stripes he must undergo; whereas he knows, and cannot
+deny, that when my Lord Duke promised him the island, nobody thought of
+any such thing as stripes in the world: Secondly, he discovers an
+avaricious disposition, and I should not like to see him a skin flint;
+for greediness bursts the bag, and a covetous governor will do very
+ungoverned justice.’—‘I did not write with that intention,’ answered the
+squire: ‘and if your ladyship thinks this is not a proper letter, there
+is nothing to do but tear it and write another, which perhaps will be
+still worse, if it be left to my own numbskull.’—‘No, no,’ cried the
+duchess, ‘this will do very well, and must be shewn to the duke.’
+
+Accordingly, repairing to a garden, where they were to dine that day,
+she communicated Sancho’s epistle to the duke, who perused it with
+infinite pleasure. Here they went to dinner, and after the cloth was
+taken away, and they had entertained themselves a good while with the
+savoury conversation of Sancho, their ears were suddenly invaded with
+the dismal sound of a fife and a hoarse unbraced drum: all the company
+were startled at this confused, martial, and melancholy musick,
+especially Don Quixote, whose emotion would not allow him to sit quiet.
+With regard to Sancho, all that can be said is, that he was driven by
+fear to his usual shelter, the sides or skirts of the duchess: for the
+sound they heard was really and truly horrible and dreary. In the midst
+of this confusion and surprize, which took hold on all present, they saw
+two men enter the garden, in mourning-cloaks, so large and long that
+they trailed upon the ground. These figures were employed in beating two
+large drums, which were likewise covered with black, and they were
+accompanied by a fifer as black and dismal as themselves, and followed
+by a personage of gigantick stature, rolled rather than cloathed in a
+cassock of the blackest hue, furnished with a train of unmeasurable
+length. Over this cassock, his body was girded and crossed with a broad
+black belt, from which depended an immense scymitar, with hilt and
+sheath of the same sable colour. His face was covered with a black,
+transparent veil, through which appeared a huge and bushy beard as white
+as snow; and in walking he kept time to the sound of the drums, with
+great gravity and composure. In a word, his tallness, his demeanour, his
+melancholy dress, and his attendants, were sufficient to surprize, and
+did surprize, all those who beheld him, without knowing the nature of
+the scheme. With the said solemnity of personification he advanced in
+order to kneel before the duke, who, with the rest of the company,
+received him standing; but his grace would by no means hear his address
+until he rose. The prodigious spectre complied with his desire and stood
+upright; then unveiling his face, and displaying the largest, whitest,
+thickest, and most stupendous beard that ever human eyes beheld, he
+fixed his eyes upon the duke, and in a grave, sonorous voice, extracted
+and discharged from his ample and dilated chest, pronounced, ‘Most high
+and mighty prince, I am Trifaldin of the Snowy Beard, squire to the
+Countess Trifaldi, otherwise distinguished by the appellation of the
+afflicted duenna: from her I bring a message to your grace, requesting
+that your magnificence would be pleased to give her leave and
+opportunity to enter and declare in person her mishap; which is the
+strangest and the newest that ever the most hapless imagination could
+conceive; and first of all, she wants to know if the valiant and
+invincible knight Don Quixote de La Mancha now resides within your
+castle; for in quest of him, she is come a-foot and fasting from the
+kingdom of Candaya to these your territories: a circumstance which might
+and ought to be deemed a miracle, or at least effected by the power of
+inchantment. She is now at the gate of this fortress or pleasure-house,
+and only waits for your permission to come in.’
+
+So saying, he hemmed; and with both hands stroaking his beard from top
+to bottom, waited with great composure for the duke’s reply, which was
+this: ‘Worthy Squire Trifaldin of the Snowy Beard, many days are passed
+since we have been apprized of the misfortune of my Lady Countess
+Trifaldi, on whom the inchanters have intailed the epithet of the
+afflicted duenna; well may you, stupendous squire, desire her to come
+in; and here is the valiant knight Don Quixote de La Mancha, from whose
+generous disposition she may securely promise herself all manner of aid
+and protection; and you may likewise give her to understand, in my name,
+that if my assistance be necessary, it shall not be wanting; for I think
+myself obliged to grant it, as being a knight, to which title is annexed
+and belongs, that maxim of assisting the fair-sex with all our might,
+especially widowed, reduced, and afflicted duennas, like her ladyship.’
+Trifaldin hearing this declaration, bent his knee to the ground, and
+making a signal to the fifer and drums to repeat the same note, and
+resume the same pace with which they entered, he retired from the
+garden, leaving the whole company astonished at his presence and
+deportment.
+
+Then the duke turning to Don Quixote, ‘In a word, renowned knight,’ said
+he, ‘it is not in the power of all the clouds of ignorance and malice to
+conceal or obscure the light of valour and of virtue. This observation I
+make, because your excellency has been scarce six days in this castle,
+when, the melancholy and afflicted come in quest of you from the most
+distant and sequestered countries, not in coaches or on dromedaries, but
+a-foot and fasting, confident of finding in that most valiant arm the
+remedy and cure of their toils and misfortunes: thanks to your
+illustrious exploits, which pervade and encircle the whole habitable
+globe.’
+
+‘My Lord Duke,’ replied the knight, ‘I wish that same pious
+ecclesiastick was here at present; he, who at your grace’s table, the
+other day, expressed so much ill-will and such an inveterate grudge to
+knights-errant, that he might see with his own eyes whether or not such
+knights are of any service in this world; or at least, be fully
+convinced that the distressed and disconsolate, overwhelmed with
+extraordinary woes, and enormous misfortunes, do not go for redress to
+the houses of learned men, to the mansions of parish priests, nor to the
+knight who never dreamed of going beyond the limits of his own estate;
+nor to the idle courtier, who would rather enquire about news, that he
+might have the pleasure of repeating and retailing them, than endeavour
+to perform actions and exploits for others to perpetuate and record: the
+redress of grievances, the support of the necessitous, the protection of
+damsels, and the consolation of widows, are found in no set of people
+more than in knights-errant; that I am one of these, I return infinite
+thanks to Heaven, and shall cheerfully undergo whatever danger and
+disgrace may befall me in the course of such an honourable exercise. Let
+this duenna approach, and beg what boon she shall desire, I will commit
+her cause to the strength of my arm, and the intrepid resolution of my
+aspiring soul.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. V.
+ IN WHICH IS CONTINUED THE FAMOUS ADVENTURE OF THE AFFLICTED DUENNA.
+
+
+The duke and duchess were exceedingly rejoiced to see Don Quixote’s
+behaviour correspond so well with their design. Sancho interposing, ‘I
+wish,’ said he, ‘this Madam Duenna may not throw some stumbling-block in
+the way of my government; for I have heard an apothecary of Toledo, who
+talked like any goldfinch, observe, that nothing good could happen where
+duennas interfered. Lord help us! what a spite that same apothecary had
+to the whole tribe; from whence I conclude that seeing duennas of all
+qualities and degrees whatsoever are offensive and impertinent, what
+must those be who are afflicted, which they say is the case with this
+Trifaldis[177], or three-tailed countess? for, in my country, skirts and
+tails, and tails and skirts, are the same thing.’—‘Hold your tongue,
+friend Sancho,’ said Don Quixote: ‘this lady, who is come in quest of me
+from remote countries, cannot be one of those to whom the apothecary
+alluded, especially as she is a countess; and when ladies of that rank
+serve as duennas, it must be under queens and empresses; for in their
+own houses they are honoured with the title of Ladyship, and have other
+duennas in their service.’
+
+To this remark Donna Rodriguez, who was present, replied, ‘My lady
+duchess has duennas in her service, who might have been countesses, had
+it pleased fortune; but the law’s measure is the king’s pleasure; and
+let no body speak disrespectfully of duennas, especially of those who
+are ancient and maidens; for although I am not of that class, I can
+easily perceive and comprehend the advantage a maiden duenna has over
+one that is a widow: and he that undertakes to hear us, will have no
+easy talk to perform.’—‘And yet, for all that,’ replied Sancho, ‘if my
+barber’s word may be taken, you duennas require so much to be shorn,
+that—You had better not stir the porridge though it stick to the
+pot.’—‘The squires are always our enemies,’ answered Donna Rodriguez:
+‘they are imps of the antichamber, who are every minute making a jest of
+us; and except when they are at prayers, which is not often the case,
+their whole time is spent in back-biting, disinterring our bones, and
+interring our reputation. But let met tell those moving blocks, that, in
+spite of all they can do, we will live in the world, aye, in noble
+families, though we should die of hunger, and clothe our delicate or
+indelicate bodies with a black shroud, as they cover or shade a dunghill
+with tapestry on a day of procession. In good faith! if I were allowed,
+and the time required it, I could demonstrate not only to those who are
+now present, but likewise to the whole world, that there is no kind of
+virtue which does not center in a duenna.’—‘I believe there is reason,
+and a great deal of reason, in what the worthy Donna Rodriguez
+observes,’ said the duchess; ‘but she must wait for a proper opportunity
+to appear in behalf of herself and other duennas, and confute the ill
+opinion of that malicious apothecary, as well as to eradicate those
+sentiments from the breast of the mighty Sancho Panza.’ To this remark
+the squire replied: ‘Since the fumes of a governor have expelled the
+vapours of a squire, I value not all the duennas upon earth a fig’s
+end.’
+
+They would have proceeded with this duennian conference, had not they
+heard again the sound of the fife and drums, which announced the
+entrance of the afflicted duenna. The duchess asked the duke, if it
+would be proper to advance and receive her, as she was a countess and
+person of quality. ‘With regard to her being a countess,’ said Sancho,
+before the duke could reply, ‘it would be right for your graces to go
+and receive her; but in respect to her being a duenna, I think you
+should not move a step.’—‘Who taught thee to interfere in such matters?’
+said Don Quixote. ‘Who, Signior?’ replied Sancho, ‘I interfere, because
+I am qualified to interfere, as a squire who has learned all the
+punctilios of courtesy in the school of your worship, who is the most
+courteous and best-bred knight that ever the province of courtesy
+produced; and in these matters, as I have heard your worship observe,
+the game is as often lost by a card too many as one too few; but a word
+to the wise is sufficient.’—‘It is even so as Sancho has remarked,’ said
+the duke; ‘let us first see a specimen of the countess, and from that
+sample consider what courtesy she deserves.’
+
+At that instant the fifer and drummers entered as before:—and here the
+author concludes this short chapter, in order to begin another with the
+sequel of the same adventure, which is among the most remarkable of the
+whole history.
+
+END OF THE THIRD VOLUME.
+
+Footnote 177:
+
+ _Faldis_, in Spain, signifies skirts.
+
+
+
+
+ VOLUME THE FOURTH.
+ PART II.
+
+
+ BOOK III.
+
+
+ CHAP. VI.
+ IN WHICH IS RECOUNTED THE MISFORTUNE OF THE AFFLICTED DUENNA.
+
+
+In the rear of those melancholy musicians, about a dozen duennas,
+divided into two files, began to enter the garden, clad in loose
+mourning-gowns, seemingly of milled stuff, with white veils of fine
+muslin, so long that nothing but the borders of the gowns were seen.
+After these came the Countess Trifaldi, led by her Squire Trifaldin of
+the Snowy Beard, and cloathed in a robe of the finest black serge,
+which, had it been napped, would have displayed grains as large as the
+best Martos garavances[178]. The tail or skirt, or whatsoever it is
+called, was divided into three parts, supported by three pages, who were
+likewise in mourning, making a remarkable mathematical figure, with the
+three acute angles formed by the three divisions, a circumstance from
+which all who saw this divided train, concluded that from hence she was
+called the Countess of Trifaldi, as if we should say, the Countess of
+Three Skirts: and this is what Benengeli affirms for truth: observing,
+that her proper appellation was, the Countess de Wolf, because her
+country produced a great number of those animals; and if it had been
+famous for foxes, she would have been called, my Lady Fox; for it is the
+custom in those countries, for people of fashion to take their
+denomination from the thing or things with which their estates chiefly
+abound; but this countess, in order to favour the fashion of her train,
+laid aside the name of Wolf, and assumed that of Trifaldi.
+
+The twelve duennas and their lady advanced at a procession-pace, their
+faces covered with white veils, though not transparent like that of the
+Squire Trifaldin; on the contrary, they were so close that nothing
+appeared through them. When the whole duennian squadron appeared, the
+duke and duchess, Don Quixote, and all those who beheld the procession,
+stood up; and the twelve duennas halting, made a lane through which the
+afflicted lady advanced, without quitting the hand of Trifaldin, while
+their graces and Don Quixote went forwards about a dozen steps to
+receive her: then she kneeled upon the ground, and with a voice that was
+coarse and rough, rather than smooth and delicate, pronounced this
+address: ‘I beg your graces will be pleased to wave all this courtesy to
+your humble valets—I mean, your handmaid[179]—Indeed, I am so
+overwhelmed with affliction, that I can hardly return a rational answer;
+for my strange and unheard-of misfortune hath hurried away my
+understanding, I know not whither, though it must be at a great
+distance, because the more I seek, the farther I am from finding
+it.’—‘He must be deprived of it all together, my Lady Countess,’
+answered the duke, ‘who could not discover your worth from the
+appearance of your person, which, without farther enquiry, is deserving
+of the whole cream of courtesy, and the very essence of polite
+ceremony.’
+
+So saying, he presented his hand, and raising her up, seated her in a
+chair close by the duchess, who likewise received her with great
+respect. Don Quixote was silent, and Sancho ready to burst with
+curiosity to see the faces of the Countess Trifaldi and some of her
+duennas; but he could not possibly gratify his desire, until they
+unveiled themselves of their own free will and motion. Every body was
+hushed, expecting who would put an end to the general silence, which the
+afflicted countess broke in these words: ‘Confident I am, O powerful
+lord, most beautiful lady, and most sagacious bystanders, that my most
+wretchedness will find a reception equally placid, generous, and
+dolorous, within your valorous bosoms; for such it is, as were enough to
+soften marble, melt the diamond, and mollify the steel of the most
+obdurate heart; but before it appears in the parade of your hearing, not
+to say your ears, I would I were certified whether or not the
+perfectionatissimo Knight Don Quixote de La Manchissima, and his
+Squirissimo Panza, are in this groupe, circle, or assembly?’ Before any
+other person could reply, ‘Panza,’ cried Sancho, ‘is here, and likewise
+Don Quixotissimo; and therefore, most dolorous duennissima, you may say
+what you think properissimo; for we are all ready and promptissimos to
+be your servantissimos.’ Then Don Quixote rising and addressing himself
+to the afflicted duenna, ‘If your misfortunes, distressed lady,’ said
+he, ‘can derive any remedy or redress from the valour or strength of any
+knight-errant, here are mine, which, though feeble and defective, shall
+be wholly exerted in your behalf. I am Don Quixote de La Mancha, whose
+office it is to assist the necessitous of all degrees: and this being
+the case, as it really is, you have no occasion, Madam, to bespeak
+benevolence, and seek after preambles: but only to rehearse your
+misfortunes plainly and without circumlocution, and they shall be heard
+by those who, though perhaps unable to redress, will at least condole
+them.’
+
+The afflicted duenna, hearing this declaration, attempted to throw
+herself at the feet of Don Quixote; nay, even executed the attempt, and
+struggling to embrace them, exclaimed, ‘O invincible knight, I prostrate
+myself before these feet and legs, which are the bases and supporters of
+knight-errantry; suffer me to kiss these feet, on whose footsteps the
+cure of my misfortune solely depends. O valiant errant! whose real
+exploits outstrip and obscure the fabulous feats of all the Amadises,
+Belianises, and Esplandians——’
+
+Then turning from the knight, and seizing Sancho by the hand, ‘And O!’
+said she, ‘thou loyallest squire that ever served knight-errant, in the
+past or present age, whose virtue exceeds in length the beard of this my
+domestick Trifaldin, well mayest thou boast that, in attending the great
+Don Quixote, thou dost attend in epitome, the whole tribe of knights
+that ever handled arms on this terrestrial ball; I conjure thee, by thy
+own most faithful benevolence, to be my intercessor with thy master,
+that he may instantly favour me, the most humble and unfortunate
+countess that ever was born.’
+
+To this address Sancho replied, ‘Whether my virtue, my lady, be as long
+and broad as your squire’s beard, is of very little signification; so
+that my soul be bearded and whiskered when it leaves this life, which is
+the main point, I care little or nothing for beards here below. But,
+without all this coaxing and begging, I will desire my master, who, I
+believe, has a respect for me, especially now that I am become necessary
+in a certain affair, to favour and assist your ladyship to the utmost of
+his power: your ladyship may therefore unpack, and recount your griefs,
+that all of us may understand the nature of your misfortune.’
+
+The duke and duchess were ready to burst with laughing at this dialogue;
+for they knew the drift of the adventure, and were extremely well
+pleased with the acuteness and dissimulation of the Countess Trifaldi,
+who seating herself again, began her story in these words:
+
+‘Of the famous kingdom of Candaya, situated between the great Trapobana
+and the South Sea, two leagues beyond Cape Comorin, Donna Maguncia was
+queen, as widow of King Archipiela, her lord and husband, in which
+marriage they begat and procreated the Infanta Antonomasia, heiress of
+the crown, which said Infanta Antonomasia was bred and brought up under
+my care and instruction; for I was her mother’s most ancient and
+principal duenna. And it came to pass, in process of time, that the
+young Antonomasia attained the age of fourteen, with such perfection and
+beauty as nature could not exceed. Nay, we may even say that discretion
+itself was but a girl, compared to her, who was equally discreet and
+beautiful, and surely she was the most beautiful creature upon earth,
+and is so still, if the invidious fates and hard-hearted sisters have
+not cut short the yarn of her life: but surely they have not, for Heaven
+would not permit such mischief to be done on earth, as to tear the green
+cluster from the most beautiful vine that ever soil produced. Of this
+beauty, which my coarse tongue can never extol, an infinite number of
+noblemen, natives as well as strangers, became enamoured. Among these, a
+private knight belonging to the court had the presumption to raise his
+thoughts to the heaven of such perfection, confiding in his youth, his
+gallantry, his various talents and accomplishments, and the facility and
+felicity of his wit; for, I must tell your graces, if you are not
+offended at the subject, that he touched the guittar so nicely as to
+make it speak; besides, he was a poet, a great dancer, and could make
+bird cages so curiously, that he might have earned his bread by that
+employment, had he been reduced to want. Such a number of natural gifts
+and qualifications was enough to overthrow a mountain, much more a
+delicate young maiden; but all his gaiety and gallantry, his gifts and
+graces, would have availed little or nothing against the fortress of my
+charge, if the treacherous ruffian had not practiced means to reduce me
+first. The base robber and lewd vagabond began by cultivating my
+good-will, and corrupting my taste, that, like a disloyal governor, I
+might deliver up the keys of the fort which I guarded. In a word, he
+flattered my understanding, and obtained my consent, by presenting me
+with some jewels and trinkets; but what chiefly contributed to lay me on
+my back, were some couplets which I heard him sing one night while I
+stood at a rail that looked into an ally where he was, and which, to the
+best of my remembrance, were to this effect—
+
+ ‘“A thousand shafts from my sweet foe
+ Are launch’d unerring to my heart;
+ Yet must I not reveal the smart,
+ And silence aggravates my woe!”
+
+‘I thought the turn of the rhime was as smooth as pearls, and his voice
+as sweet as sugar-candy; and, since that time, seeing the mischief that
+hath befallen me, through these and other such verses, I have often
+thought, that wise and well-regulated commonwealths ought to expel the
+poets, according to the advice of Plato; at least your lascivious
+writers who compose couplets, not like those of the Marquis of Mantua,
+that entertain and draw tears from women and children; but your pointed
+conceits, which, like agreeable thorns, prick, as it were, the very
+soul, and wound like lightning, leaving the garment whole and untouched.
+Another time he sung the following stanza—
+
+ ‘“Come, gentle death, so soft and sly,
+ That thy approach I may not see;
+ Lest I rejoice to such degree,
+ That I shall not have pow’r to die.”
+
+‘And other tags and couplets of the same kidney; which, when written,
+confound, and when chanted, inchant; for when they condescend to compose
+a sort of verse in fashion at that time in Candaya, called roundelays,
+they produce a kind of palpitation in the soul, a titillation of good
+humour, an agitation in the nerves, and finally, a tremulous motion,
+like that of quicksilver, in all the senses. Therefore, I repeat it to
+this honourable company, that such dangerous rhymers ought to be
+banished to the isle of lizards: yet, they are not so much to blame, as
+the simple wretches who applaud, and the boobies who believe them. If I
+had adhered to the duty of a good duenna, I should not have been moved
+by his serenading concerts, nor believed the truth of these
+expressions—“In death I live; in frost I burn; in fire I shiver; in
+despair I hope; though I depart I still remain;” and other
+impossibilities of the same strain, with which their works abound. When
+they promise the phœnix of Arabia, the crown of Ariadne, the locks of
+Apollo, the pearls of the South Sea, the gold of Tyber, and the balsams
+of Pancaya, they give the greatest latitude to their pens; for it costs
+them but a small matter to promise what they have neither inclination
+nor ability to perform.—But, woe is me! ah, wretched creature! whither
+am I straying? What madness or despair thus hurries and prompts me to
+rehearse the faults of other people! me, who have so much to say of my
+own infirmities. Woe is me again, unhappy woman! Not by his verses, but
+my own simplicity, was I vanquished: it was not his musick that softened
+me; but my own levity, inadvertency, and ignorance, opened the way, and
+cleared the path, for the passage of Don Clavijo, which is the name of
+the said knight; and therefore, I being the go-between, he was once and
+often admitted into the chamber of the (by me, and not by him) misled
+Antonomasia, under the title of her lawful spouse; for, sinner as I am,
+without being her husband, he should not have come near enough to touch
+the sole of her slipper. No, no, marriage must go before in every
+business of that kind, where I am concerned! the only misfortune in this
+affair, was the inequality between Clavijo, who was but a private
+knight, and the Infanta Antonomasia, who, as I have already said, was
+heiress of the kingdom. For some time, the plot was covered and
+concealed in the sagacity of my circumspection, until I perceived a
+small protuberance daily increasing in the belly of my Antonomasia,
+whose fears obliged us to lay our three heads together; and the result
+of our consultation was, that before the misfortune should come to
+light, Clavijo should demand Antonomasia in marriage, before the
+vicar-general, by virtue of a contract signed by the infanta, which was
+indited by my ingenuity, in such strength of terms as Samson himself
+could not break. The scheme was accordingly executed; the vicar perused
+the contract, and confessed the princess, who owned the whole affair,
+and was committed to the care of a very honourable alguazil of the
+court.’
+
+Here Sancho interposing, ‘So then,’ said he, ‘there are alguazils of the
+court, poets and roundelays in Candaya as well as in Spain? I swear, I
+think the world is every where the same! but I beg your ladyship, Madam
+Trifaldi, would dispatch; for it grows late, and I die with impatience
+to know the end of this long-winded story.’—‘I will comply with your
+request,’ answered the countess.
+
+Footnote 178:
+
+ A kind of pea that grows at Martos, a town in the province of
+ Andalusia.
+
+Footnote 179:
+
+ This blunder is much more natural in the Spanish _criado_ for
+ _criada_; but, as in the English language, the gender is not
+ distinguished by the termination, I have been obliged to substitute
+ the words varlet and handmaid. Varlets were the servants of yeomen,
+ though formerly squires were known by that appellation.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VII.
+ IN WHICH THE LADY TRIFALDI PROCEEDS
+ WITH HER MEMORABLE AND STUPENDOUS STORY.
+
+
+Every word that Sancho uttered gave as much pleasure to the duchess as
+pain to Don Quixote; who having imposed silence on the squire, the
+afflicted duenna thus proceeded: ‘At length, after innumerable questions
+and replies, as the infanta continued still in her story without
+variation, the vicar pronounced sentence in favour of Don Clavijo, whom
+he declared her lawful husband; a circumstance that so deeply affected
+Queen Maguncia, mother to the Infanta Antonomasia, that we buried her in
+three days.’—‘Not before she was dead, I hope,’ said Sancho. ‘No,
+certainly,’ replied Trifaldin; ‘for in Candaya, people do nor bury the
+living, but the dead.’—‘And yet, Signior Squire,’ said Sancho, ‘we have
+seen a person in a swoon buried for dead: and in my opinion, Queen
+Maguncia ought to have swooned rather than died; for while there is life
+there is hope, and the infanta’s slip was not so great as to oblige her
+to take on so much. Had the young lady buckled with her own page, or any
+other servant in the family, as I have heard many others have done, the
+mischief would not have been easily repaired; but to marry such a
+genteel, accomplished knight, as the countess hath described——verily,
+verily, although it was indiscreet, the indiscretion was not so great as
+people may imagine; for, according to the maxims of my master, who is
+here present, and will not suffer me to tell a lye, as learned men are
+created bishops, so may knights, especially knights-errant, be created
+kings and emperors.’—‘Thou art in the right, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote,
+‘for a knight-errant, with two fingers-breadth of good fortune, is the
+very next in promotion to the greatest lord in the universe.—But, pray,
+afflicted lady, proceed; for I guess the bitter part of this hitherto
+agreeable story is still to come.’—‘How! the bitter part to come?’
+replied the countess; ‘aye, and so bitter, that in comparison with it,
+gall and wormwood are sweet and savoury.
+
+‘Well, then, the queen being really dead, and not in a swoon, was
+buried; but scarce was she covered with the mould, and scarce had we
+pronounced the long and last farewel, when, _Quis talia fando, temperet
+a lacrymis?_ all of a sudden, above the tomb, appeared upon a wooden
+horse the giant Malambruno, Maguncia’s first cousin, who, exclusive of
+his cruel disposition, was an inchanter, and by his diabolical art, in
+order to revenge his relation’s death, and chastise the presumption of
+Don Clavijo, together with the folly of Antonomasia, fixed them both
+inchanted on Maguncia’s tomb, after having converted her into a monkey
+of brass, and him into a frightful crocodile of some unknown substance;
+between them is a plate of metal, displaying an inscription in the
+Syrian language, which being translated into the Candayan, and
+afterwards into the Castilian tongue, contains this sentence: “These two
+presumptuous lovers will not recover their pristine form, until the
+valorous Manchegan shall engage with me in single combat; for his
+stupendous valour alone, the fates have reserved this unseen adventure.”
+This metamorphosis being effected, he unsheathed a vast unmeasurable
+scymitar, and twisting his left hand in my hair, threatened to slit my
+windpipe, and slice off my head. I was confounded, my voice stuck in my
+throat, and I remained in an agony of fear: nevertheless, I made one
+effort, and in a faultering accent and plaintive tone, uttered such a
+pathetick remonstrance as induced him to suspend the execution of his
+rigorous revenge. In fine, he ordered all the duennas of the palace
+(there they are) to be brought into his presence, when, after having
+exaggerated our fault, reviled the disposition of duennas, their wicked
+schemes and contrivances, and accused them all of the crime of which I
+alone was guilty, he said he would not punish us with instant death, but
+with a more tedious penalty, by which we should suffer a civil and
+continued death. He had no sooner done speaking, than that very moment
+and instant, we all felt the pores of our faces open, and the whole
+surface tingle as if pricked with the points of needles; then clapping
+our hands on the part, every one found her visage in the condition which
+you shall now behold.’
+
+So saying, the afflicted duenna and her companions, lifting up their
+veils, disclosed so many faces overgrown with huge beards, red, black,
+white, and party-coloured; at sight of which, the duke and duchess were
+amazed, Don Quixote and Sancho confounded, and all present overwhelmed
+with astonishment; as for the countess, she pursued her story in these
+words.
+
+‘In this manner were we punished by the felonious and ill-designing
+Malambruno, who covered the smoothness and delicacy of our faces with
+the roughness of these bristles; and would to Heaven he had rather
+struck off our heads with his unmeasurable scymitar, than obscured the
+light of our countenances with this frightful bush; for if this
+honourable company will but consider, and in speaking what I am now
+going to say, I wish I could turn my eyes into fountains; but the
+consideration of our misfortune, and the oceans they have already
+rained, have drained them as dry as beards of corn; and, therefore, I
+must speak without tears: I say then, whither can a duenna go with a
+beard upon her chin? What father or mother will condole her disgrace? or
+who will give her the least assistance? for if, when her face is
+smoothed and martyred by a thousand cosmetick slops and washes, she can
+scarce find one who will favour her with affection, what must she do
+when her face becomes a perfect coppice of brushwood? O ye wretched
+duennas! my companions dear! in an unlucky minute did we see the light,
+and in an hapless hour were we engendered by our fathers!’
+
+So saying, she pretended to faint away.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VIII.
+ OF CIRCUMSTANCES APPERTAINING AND RELATING TO THIS ADVENTURE AND
+ MEMORABLE STORY.
+
+
+Verily, and in good truth! all those who take pleasure in reading such
+histories, ought to manifest their gratitude to its first author Cid
+Hamet, for his curiosity in recounting the most trivial incident,
+without neglecting to bring to light the least circumstance, how minute
+soever it may be. He describes the thought, discloses the fancy, answers
+the silent, explains doubts, discusses arguments, and finally displays
+the very atoms of the most curious disposition. O celebrated author! O
+happy Don Quixote! O renowned Dulcinea! O facetious Sancho Panza! may
+you flourish conjunctly and severally to the end of time, for the
+entertainment and pastime of mankind in general!
+
+The history relates, that Sancho seeing the Afflicted faint away, ‘Now,
+by the faith of man!’ cried he, ‘and by the pedigree of all the Panzas
+my forefathers! never did I hear or see, nor did my master recount, or
+indeed conceive, such an adventure as this!—A legion of devils confound
+thee for a giant and inchanter, accursed Malambruno! couldst thou find
+no other method to punish these sinners, but by clapping beards to them?
+Would it not have been better, at least it would have been more for
+their advantage, to cut off half their noses, even though they should
+snuffle in their speech, than to encumber them with beards? I’d lay a
+wager, too, that they have not wherewithal to pay a barber.’—‘What you
+say is very true,’ replied one of the dozen; ‘we have not wherewithal to
+be trimmed, and therefore some of us, by way of œconomy, make use of
+sticking plaister, which being applied to our faces, and plucked off
+with a jerk, leave us as sleek and smooth as the bottom of a marble
+mortar; for, although there are women in Candaya who go from house to
+house, taking of the hair, arching the eyebrows, and composing slipslops
+for the use of the fair-sex, we who belonged to her ladyship would never
+admit them into the family, because, for the most part, they are persons
+who having ceased to be principals, exercise the occupation of
+procuresses; and therefore, if we are not redressed by Signior Don
+Quixote, we must e’en carry our beards to the grave.’—‘If I do not
+redress your whiskers,’ cried the knight, ‘I will leave mine among the
+Moors!’
+
+Here the Countess Trifaldi recovering, ‘Valiant knight,’ said she, ‘the
+tingling of that promise reached mine ears while I lay in a swoon, and
+hath been the cause of my recovering and retrieving the use of all my
+senses; therefore, renowned errant, and invincible knight, I again
+entreat you, to put your gracious promise in execution.’—‘In me there
+shall be no delay,’ replied Don Quixote: ‘consider then, my lady, and
+tell me what I am to do; my mind is perfectly disposed for your
+service.’—‘The case is this, then,’ answered the afflicted duenna: ‘from
+hence to the kingdom of Candaya, if you go by land, you must travel five
+thousand leagues, it may be one or two more or less; but if you go
+through the air, in a right line, you measure no more than three
+thousand two hundred and twenty-seven. You must likewise know,
+Malambruno told me, that whenever fortune should furnish me with our
+deliverer, he would send him a steed that should be much better and less
+vicious than any of your return post-horses, as being the very
+individual wooden-horse upon which the valiant Peter carried off the
+fair Magalona: he is governed by a peg in his forehead, that serves
+instead of a bridle; and he flies so swiftly through the air, that one
+would think he was transported by all the devils in hell. This steed,
+according to ancient tradition, was contrived by the Sage Merlin, and he
+lent him to his friend Peter, who, by means of such conveyance,
+performed incredible journies, and stole, as I have observed, the fair
+Magalona, who sat behind him, and was transported through the air, to
+the astonishment of all those who gaped after her from the earth. Yet he
+would lend him to none but his particular favourites, or such as would
+pay him a handsome price; we do not know that he was ever mounted from
+the days of the great Peter to the present time. Malambruno, by dint of
+art, has got, and keeps him in his possession, making use of him in his
+journies, which he performs in an instant, from one part of the world to
+another; now here, to-morrow in France, and next day in Peru: and there
+is one great advantage in this horse, he neither eats nor sleeps, nor
+costs any thing in shoeing, and ambles through the air without wings in
+such a manner, that the rider may hold a cup full of water in his hand
+without spilling a single drop, his motion is so smooth and easy; for
+which reason, the fair Magalona delighted much in taking the air upon
+his back.’—‘As for his going smooth and easy,’ said Sancho, ‘there is my
+Dapple, whom (though he does not go through the air, but along the
+ground) I will match against all the amblers that ever the earth
+produced.’ All the company laughed at this observation, and the
+afflicted duenna proceeded; ‘Now, this horse, if Malambruno is actually
+disposed to put an end to our misfortune, will be herein less than half
+an hour after it is dark: for he told me the signal by which I should be
+certain of having found the knight I was in quest of, would be his
+sending the horse thither with all convenient dispatch.’—‘And pray,’
+said Sancho, ‘how many persons will this horse carry?’—‘Two,’ replied
+the Afflicted; ‘one upon the saddle, and the other upon the crupper, and
+these are commonly the knight and the squire, when there is no damsel to
+be stolen.’—‘I should be glad to know, afflicted Madam,’ resumed the
+squire, ‘what is the name of that same horse?’—‘His name,’ answered the
+Afflicted, ‘is not like that of Bellerophon’s horse, which was called
+Pegasus; nor does it resemble that which distinguished the steed of
+Alexander the Great, Bucephalus; nor that of Orlando Furioso, whose
+appellation was Brilladoro; nor Bayete, which belonged to Reynaldo de
+Montalban; nor Frontino, that appertained to Rugiero; nor Bootes, nor
+Peritoa, the horses of the sun; nor is he called Orelia, like that steed
+upon which the unfortunate Rodrigo, last king of the Goths, engaged in
+that battle where he lost his crown and life.’—‘I will lay a wager,’
+cried Sancho, ‘that as he is not distinguished by any of those famous
+names of horses so well known, so neither have they given him the name
+of my master’s horse Rozinante; a name which, in propriety, exceeds all
+those that have been named.’—‘Very true,’ replied the bearded countess;
+‘nevertheless, it fits him very well; for he is called Clavileno
+Aligero[180], an appellation that suits exactly with his wooden
+substance, the peg in his forehead, and the swiftness with which he
+travels; so that, for his name, he may be brought in competition even
+with the famous Rozinante.’—‘The name pleases me well enough,’ said
+Sancho; ‘but what sort of bridle or halter must be used in managing
+him?’—‘I have already told you,’ answered Trifaldi, ‘that by turning the
+peg, the knight who rides can make him travel just as he pleases, either
+mounting through the air; or else sweeping, and, as it were, brushing
+the surface of the earth; or lastly, sailing through the middle region,
+which is the course to be sought after and pursued, in all
+well-concerted enterprizes.’
+
+‘I should be glad to see this same beast,’ replied the squire; ‘but to
+think that I will mount him, either in the saddle or in the crupper, is
+all the same thing as to look for pears upon an elm. A fine joke,
+i’faith! I can scarce keep the back of my own Dapple, though sitting
+upon a pannel as soft as sattin, and they would now have me get upon a
+crupper of board, with out any pillow or cushion. By the Lord! I have no
+intention to bruise myself, in order to take off the beard of any person
+whatsoever; let every beard be shaved according to the owner’s fancy:
+for my own part, I have no notion of accompanying my master in such a
+long and tedious journey; for surely I have no concern in the shaving of
+beards, whatever I may have in the disinchantment of Dulcinea.’—‘Indeed,
+you have, my friend,’ answered Trifaldi; ‘aye, and so much, that without
+your presence I believe we shall do no good.’—‘In the king’s name!’
+cried Sancho, ‘what have squires to do with the adventures of their
+masters? What! are they to run away with all the reputation, and we to
+undergo all the trouble? Body o’me! would your historians but mention,
+that such a knight atchieved such and such an adventure, with the
+assistance of his Squire What-d’ye-call-um, without whom he could not
+possibly have finished the exploit; but, they drily relate, as how Don
+Paralipomenon of the Three Stars, finished the adventure of the six
+goblins, without even naming the squire who was present all the time, no
+more than if there was not such a person in the world: I therefore say
+again to this honourable company, that my master may go by himself, and
+good luck attend him; but, for my own part, I will stay where I am, and
+keep my Lady Duchess company; and peradventure, at his return, he may
+find my Lady Dulcinea’s business well forwarded; for I intend, at my
+idle and leisure hours, to whip myself to such a tune, that not a single
+hair shall stand before me.’
+
+‘But, for all that,’ said the duchess, ‘honest Sancho, you must attend
+him, should there be occasion, for you will be solicited by the
+righteous; and surely it would be a great pity, that the faces of these
+gentlewomen should continue overshadowed with hair, merely for your
+needless apprehension.’—‘I say again, in the king’s name!’ cried Sancho,
+‘if this charity should be of any benefit to release maidens or
+parish-children, a man might venture to undergo some trouble; but to
+take such pains in order to rid duennas of their beards! a plague upon
+the whole generation! I had rather see them all bearded from the highest
+to the lowest, tag, rag, and bobtail.’—‘Friend Sancho,’ said the
+duchess, ‘you are on bad terms with duennas, and very much infected with
+the opinion of that apothecary of Toledo; but, in good sooth, you are
+very much in the wrong: there are duennas in my house, who might serve
+as patterns of virtue; and here stands Donna Rodriguez, who would not
+suffer me to say otherwise.’—‘Your excellency may say what you please,’
+answered Rodriguez; ‘but God knows the truth of all things, and good or
+bad, bearded or smooth, we duennas were born of our mothers, as well as
+other women; since, therefore, God sent us into the world, he knows for
+what, and in his mercy do I put my trust, and not in the beard of any
+person whatsoever.’
+
+‘’Tis very well, Signora Rodriguez, Madam Trifaldi, and you ladies of
+her company,’ said Don Quixote; ‘Heaven, I hope, will look upon your
+misfortunes with propitious eyes, and Sancho will chearfully obey my
+orders; let Clavileno come, so as that I may once see myself engaged
+with Malambruno, and confident I am, that no razor can shave your
+ladyships with more facility than my sword should find in shaving the
+giant’s head from his shoulders; for though God permits the wicked to
+prosper, it is but for a time.’ The afflicted duenna hearing this
+declaration, exclaimed, ‘Now, may all the stars of the celestial regions
+shed their benign influence upon your worship, most valiant knight,
+infusing courage into your soul, and crowning your atchievements with
+prosperity, that you may be the shield and support of this our slighted
+and depressed duennian order, abominated by apothecaries, grumbled at by
+squires, and jeered by pages! now, ill betide the wretch, who, in the
+flower of her youth, would not rather take the veil than become a
+duenna. Unfortunate duennas that we are! for, though we may be descended
+in a direct male line from Hector of Troy, our ladies will not fail to
+throw “Thou” in our teeth, even if they thought they should be crowned
+for it. O thou giant Malambruno! who, though an inchanter, art always
+punctual in thy promises, send hither the peerless Clavileno, that our
+disaster may be done away; for, if our beards continue until the
+dog-days begin, woe be unto us!’
+
+Trifaldi pronounced these words in such a pathetick strain, as brought
+tears from the eyes of all the by standers, and even filled Sancho’s to
+the brim; so that he resolved in his heart, to accompany his master to
+the utmost limits of the earth, provided his attendance should be
+necessary towards shearing the wool of those venerable countenances.
+
+Footnote 180:
+
+ Or, in English, ‘Wooden Peg the Winged.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IX.
+ OF CLAVILENO’S ARRIVAL—AND THE CONCLUSION
+ OF THIS PROTRACTED ADVENTURE.
+
+
+Meanwhile, night came on, and along with it the time fixed for the
+arrival of the famous steed Clavileno, whose delay began already to
+afflict Don Quixote; for he looked upon the detention of the horse, as a
+sign that he himself was not the knight for whom the adventure was
+reserved, or that Malambruno was afraid to engage with him in single
+combat. But, lo! all of a sudden, four savages, clad in green ivy,
+entered the garden, bearing on their backs a green wooden horse, which
+being placed on the ground, one of the number pronounced, ‘Let him who
+has courage mount this machine.’—‘For my own part,’ said Sancho, ‘I do
+not mount; for neither have I courage, nor am I a knight.’ But the
+savage proceeded, saying, ‘Let the squire, if he has one, occupy the
+crupper; and he may confide in the valiant Malambruno; for, except the
+sword of that giant, no other steel or malice shall offend him; and the
+knight has no more to do, but to turn this peg upon his neck, and he
+will carry them through the air to the place where Malambruno waits for
+their arrival; but lest the height and sublimity of the road should turn
+their heads, their eyes must be covered until such time as the horse
+shall neigh, for that will be the signal of their having performed the
+journey.’ This intimation being given, they left the horse, and retired
+to the place from whence they came, with great solemnity.
+
+The afflicted duenna no sooner beheld the steed, than addressing herself
+to Don Quixote, with tears in her eyes, ‘Valiant knight,’ said she,
+‘Malambruno’s promise is made good: here stands the horse, our beards
+are still growing, and each of us, nay, every hair upon our chins,
+supplicate thee to shave and shear them, since there is nothing else
+required but to mount with thy squire, and happily begin your
+journey.’—‘That will I do, my Lady Countess Trifaldi,’ replied Don
+Quixote, ‘with good will, and hearty inclination; nor will I delay the
+expedition, by spending time in furnishing myself with a cushion, or
+even in putting on my spurs, so impatient I am to see your ladyship and
+those duennas quite smooth and shaven.’—‘That will I not do,’ cried
+Sancho, ‘neither with hearty nor heartless inclination, nor in any
+manner of way; and if the shaving cannot be performed without my
+mounting upon the crupper, my master must look for another squire to
+attend him, and these ladies must find another method for smoothing
+their faces; for I am no wizard, to take delight in flying through the
+air: and pray, what would my islanders say, should they know their
+governor was riding upon the wind? Moreover, it being three thousand and
+so many more leagues from hence to Candaya, should the horse be tired,
+or the giant out of humour, we may spend half a dozen years in
+returning; and by that time, the devil an island or islander in the
+whole world will know my face. It is a common saying, that Delay breeds
+danger; and, When the heifer you receive, have a halter in your sleeve.
+The beards of these ladies must therefore excuse me: I know St. Peter is
+well at Rome; my meaning is, I find myself very well in this mansion,
+where I am treated with such respect, and from the master of which I
+expect so great a favour as that of being made a governor.’ To this
+remonstrance the duke replied, ‘Friend Sancho, the island I have
+promised is neither floating nor fugitive, but its roots are so deeply
+fixed in the bowels of the earth, that three good pulls will not remove
+or tear it away; and, as you are sensible, I know there is no kind of
+office of any importance that is not obtained by some sort of bribe,
+more or less, the present I expect for the government is, that you will
+attend your master, Don Quixote, in crowning and accomplishing this
+memorable adventure; and, whether you return upon Clavileno with that
+dispatch which his speed seems to promise; or, by the cruelty of adverse
+fortune, you come back in the habit of a pilgrim, begging on foot, from
+house to house, and from one inn to another; you shall, nevertheless, at
+your return, find your island where you left it; and your islanders
+actuated by the same desire of receiving you as their governor, which
+they have always indulged; and as for my inclination, it can never
+change; for, to entertain the least doubt of my sincerity, Signior
+Sancho, would be a notorious injury to the attachment I feel for your
+service.’—‘Enough, my lord,’ cried Sancho: ‘I am a poor squire, and
+cannot bear such a load of courtesy; let my master mount, and my eyes be
+covered; recommend me to God; and let me know whether, while we travel
+through those altitudes, I may call upon the name of the Lord, or
+implore the protection of his angels.’ To this interrogation, the
+countess replied, ‘You may recommend yourself to God, or to whom you
+will; for Malambruno, though an inchanter, is nevertheless a Christian,
+and performs his inchantments with great sagacity and caution, nor does
+he intermeddle in any person’s affairs.’—‘Well, then,’ cried Sancho,
+‘God, and the most Holy Trinity of Gaeta, be my guide and
+protection!’—‘Since the memorable adventure of the fulling-mills,’ said
+Don Quixote, ‘I have never seen Sancho so infected with fear, as upon
+this occasion; and, if I were as much addicted to superstition as some
+people are, his pusillanimity would produce some compunction in my soul:
+but, come hither, Sancho; for, with the permission of that noble pair, I
+would speak two words with you in private.’
+
+Then taking his squire aside into a tuft of trees, and grasping both his
+hands, ‘You see, brother Sancho,’ said he, ‘the long journey that awaits
+us; and God knows when we shall return, and what leisure or convenience
+our business may allow; I therefore beg thou wilt now retire to thy
+apartment, on pretence of fetching some necessaries for the road, and,
+in the twinkling of a straw, inflict upon thyself some five hundred of
+those three thousand three hundred lashes for which thou art engaged,
+and they shall stand good in the account; for, when a thing is once
+began, it is almost as good as half finished.’—‘Before God!’ cried
+Sancho, ‘your worship must be out of your senses; this is just as they
+say, You see me in a hurry, and ask me to marry. Now, when I am going to
+ride upon a wooden crupper, would your worship have me afflict my
+posteriors? Verily, verily, your worship was never more out of the way;
+at present, let us proceed and shave those duennas, and at our return, I
+promise to your worship, on the faith of my character, to quit my score
+with such dispatch, that your worship shall be satisfied; and I’ll say
+no more.’—‘Well, then,’ answered the knight, ‘I will console myself,
+honest Sancho, with that promise, which I really believe thou wilt
+perform; for, surely, though thy head be but green, thy heart is true
+blue.’—‘Green,’ said Sancho; ‘my head is not green, but black; but even
+though it were pye-bald, I would perform my promise.’
+
+After this short dialogue they returned, in order to take horse; then,
+the knight addressing himself to the squire, ‘Sancho,’ said he, ‘suffer
+yourself to be hoodwinked, and get up: he who sends for us from such
+distant regions, can have no intention to deceive us, because he could
+reap no glory from having deceived those who depended on his sincerity;
+and, although the event may turn out contrary to my expectation, the
+glory of having undertaken such an exploit no malice whatsoever can
+impair.’—‘Come, then, Signior,’ cried the squire, ‘for the beards and
+tears of those ladies are so imprinted in my heart, that I shall not
+swallow a mouthful to do me good, until I see them restored to their
+original smoothness. Get up, Signior, and hoodwink yourself first: for,
+if the crupper is to be my seat, it is plain that you must mount first
+into the saddle.’—‘You are in the right,’ replied Don Quixote; who,
+pulling an handkerchief from his pocket, desired the afflicted duenna to
+fasten it round his eyes, which, however, were no sooner covered, than
+he took off the bandage, saying, ‘If I remember aright, I have read in
+Virgil, of the Trojan Palladium, a wooden horse offered to the goddess
+Pallas, the bowels of which horse were filled with armed men, who
+afterwards occasioned the total destruction of Troy; and, therefore, it
+will not be amiss, first of all, to examine the belly of
+Clavileno.’—‘There is no occasion,’ said the afflicted duenna; ‘for I am
+certain that Malambruno has neither treachery nor malice in his heart:
+your worship, Signior Don Quixote, may therefore mount, without the
+least apprehension; and if any mischief befal you, lay it at my door.’
+The knight reflecting that any hesitation about his personal safety
+would be a disparagement to his valour, mounted Clavileno without
+farther altercation, and tried the peg, which turned with ease; and his
+legs hanging down at full length, for want of stirrups, he looked like a
+figure in some Roman triumph, painted or wrought in Flemish tapestry.
+
+Then Sancho, very slowly, and much against his will, crept up behind,
+and seating himself as well as he could upon the crupper, found it so
+hard and uneasy, that he begged the duke would order him to be
+accommodated with some cushion or pillow, though it should be taken from
+my Lady Duchess’s sopha, or some page’s bed; for the crupper of that
+horse seemed to be made of marble rather than of wood.
+
+Here Trifaldi interposing, assured him that Clavileno would bear no kind
+of furniture or ornament; but said he might sit sideways like a woman,
+in which attitude he would not be so sensible of the hardness. Sancho
+took her advice, and saying adieu, allowed his eyes to be covered; but,
+afterwards pulling up the bandage, and looking ruefully at all the
+people in the garden, he, with tears in his eyes, besought them to
+assist him in that extremity with a brace of Paternosters, and as many
+Ave Marias, as God should provide somebody to do as much for them in
+like time or need.
+
+Don Quixote hearing this apostrophe, ‘How now, miscreant!’ said he, ‘are
+you brought to the gallows, or in the last agonies of death, that you
+make use of such intreaties? Dispirited and cowardly creature! Art not
+thou seated in the very same place which was occupied by the fair
+Magalona, and from which she descended, not to her grave, but to the
+crown of France, if history speaks truth? And I, who sit by thy side,
+surely may vie with valiant Peter, who pressed the self same back now
+pressed by me. Shroud, shroud thine eyes, thou animal without a soul,
+and let not those symptoms of fear escape thy lips, at least in my
+presence.’—‘Hoodwink me then,’ answered Sancho, ‘and since I must
+neither recommend myself, nor be recommended, to the protection of God,
+what wonder is it, if I am afraid we shall meet with some legion of
+devils, who will treat us according to the Peralvillo law[181]?’
+
+Their eyes being covered, and Don Quixote perceiving he was fixed in his
+seat, turned the peg; and scarce had his finger touched this rudder,
+when the whole bevy of duennas, and all that were present, raised their
+voices, crying, ‘Heaven be thy guide, valorous knight! God be thy
+protection, intrepid squire!—Now, now, you rise and cut the liquid sky
+more swiftly than an arrow; now, you begin to astonish and confound all
+those who gaze upon you from this earthly spot!—Hold fast, valiant
+Sancho, for we see thee totter; beware of falling: to fall from such an
+height would be more fatal than the fall of that aspiring youth whose
+ambition prompted him to drive the chariot of the sun his father.’
+
+Sancho, hearing this exclamation, crept closer to his master, and
+hugging him fast in his arms, ‘Signior,’ said he, ‘how can we be so high
+as those people say we are, seeing we can hear them speak as well as if
+we were within a few yards of them?’—‘You must not mind that
+circumstance,’ answered the knight; ‘for these incidents and flights
+being all together out of the ordinary course of things, you may hear
+and see what you please, at the distance of a thousand leagues: but do
+not squeeze me so hard, lest I tumble from my seat. I really cannot
+imagine what it is that disturbs and affrights thee; for I swear, in all
+the days of my life, I never bestrode a horse of a more easy pace:
+indeed, he goes so smoothly, that I can hardly feel him move. Dispel thy
+fear, my friend, for truly the business goes on swimmingly, and we sail
+right afore the wind.’—‘You are certainly in the right,’ answered
+Sancho; ‘for on this side, there blows as fresh a gale as if I was
+fanned with a thousand pair of bellows.’
+
+Nor was he much mistaken in his conjecture; for the wind that blew was
+actually produced by one of those machines: so well had the adventure
+been contrived by the duke and duchess, and, their steward, that nought
+was wanting to render it compleat. Then the knight feeling the same
+breeze, ‘Without doubt,’ said he, ‘we must be arrived at the second
+region of the air, in which hail and snow are produced; meteors, thunder
+and lightning, are engendered in the third region: if we continue to
+mount at this rate, we shall in a very little time reach the region of
+fire; and I know not how to manage this peg, so as to put a stop to our
+rising, and prevent our being scorched to a cinder.’
+
+In the midst of this conversation their faces were warmed with some tow
+that was kindled for the purpose, at the end of a long pole, and Sancho
+feeling the heat, ‘Let me perish!’ cried he, ‘if we are not now come to
+that same habitation of fire; for a great part of my beard is already
+singed; and I am resolved to uncover my eyes, that I may see whereabouts
+we are.’—‘By no means,’ answered the knight: ‘remember the true story of
+the licentiate Toralva, who being mounted on a cane, was conveyed
+through the air, with his eyes shut, by the devils: in twelve hours he
+arrived at Rome, and alighted on the tower of Nona, which is in one of
+the streets of that city, whence he beheld the whole tumult, assault,
+and death, of the constable of Bourbon; and before morning he had
+returned to Madrid, where he gave an account of that transaction. He
+likewise affirmed, that while he travelled through the air, the devil
+bade him open his eyes, and he saw himself so near the body of the moon,
+that he could have touched it with his hand; but he durst not look
+towards the earth, lest his head should have turned giddy. Let us not,
+therefore, uncover our eyes, Sancho; he in whose charge we are will give
+a good account of us; and, perhaps, we are now at the very point of our
+elevation, from whence we shall come souse upon the kingdom of Candaya,
+as a faker or jerfaulcon darts down upon an heron with a force
+proportioned to his rise: and, although it seems to us no more than half
+an hour since we set out from the garden, you may depend upon it we have
+travelled an immense way.’—‘As to that matter, I am quite ignorant,’
+said Sancho: ‘this only I know, that if Madam Magallanes or Magalona
+took pleasure in sitting upon this crupper, her flesh must not have been
+very tender.’
+
+All this dialogue of the two heroes was overheard by the duke and
+duchess, and the rest of the company in the garden, to whom it afforded
+extraordinary entertainment: at length, desirous of finishing this
+strange and well-concerted adventure, they set fire to Clavileno’s tail
+with some lighted flax; his belly being filled with squibs and crackers,
+he instantly blew up with a dreadful explosion, and Don Quixote, with
+his squire, came to the ground more than half singed. By this time the
+whole bearded squadron, with my Lady Trifaldi, had vanished from the
+garden, and all the rest of the company were stretched upon the ground
+as in a trance. Don Quixote and Sancho getting on their feet, in a very
+indifferent condition, and looking all around, were astonished to find
+themselves in the same garden from which they took their flight, and to
+see such a number of people extended along the grass: but their
+admiration was still more increased, when at one corner of the garden
+they beheld a huge lance fixed in the ground, and tied to this lance, by
+two cords of green silk, a smooth, white skin of parchment, on which was
+the following inscription in large golden letters:
+
+‘The renowned knight Don Quixote de la Mancha has finished and atchieved
+the adventure of the Countess Trifaldi, alias the afflicted Duenna, and
+her companions solely by his having undertaken the enterprize.
+
+‘Malambruno is wholly satisfied and appeased; the chins of the duennas
+are smooth and clean; their Majesties Don Clavijo and Antonomasia are
+restored to their original form: and when the squirely flagellation
+shall be accomplished, the white dove will be delivered from the
+pestilential talons of her persecutors, and find herself within the arms
+of her beloved turtle; for such is the decree of the sage Merlin, the
+prince and prototype of all enchanters.’
+
+Don Quixote having read this scroll, at once comprehended the meaning,
+which related to the disinchantment of Dulcinea, and returning a
+thousand thanks to Heaven for his success in having finished such a
+mighty exploit with so little danger, and reduced to their pristine form
+the faces of those venerable duennas who had disappeared, he went
+towards the place where the duke and duchess still lay intranced, and
+pulling his grace by the arm, ‘Courage! courage, my noble lord!’ said
+he; ‘all is over now; the adventure is finished, without damage to the
+barrier, as will plainly appear by the inscription of yonder scroll.’
+
+The duke seemed to recover gradually, like one waking from a profound
+sleep; his example was followed by the duchess, and all the rest who lay
+along the garden; and they exhibited such marks of fear and
+astonishment, that even almost to themselves, that seemed to have
+happened in earnest which they had so well acted in jest. The duke
+having read the inscription with his eyes half shut, ran with open arms
+to embrace Don Quixote, calling him the most worthy knight that any age
+had ever produced: while Sancho went looking about for the afflicted
+matron, to see if her beard was quite gone, and whether her face,
+without hair, was as beautiful as her gallant deportment seemed to
+promise. But he was told, that as Clavileno descended in a flame from
+the sky, the whole squadron of duennas, with Trifaldi at their head, had
+vanished, and their faces smack-smooth as if they had been clean shaven.
+
+Then the duchess asking, how it had fared with Sancho in his long
+journey, the squire replied, ‘As for me, my lady, I perceived, as my
+master told me, that we flew threw the region of fire, and I felt a
+strong inclination to have a peep; but my master would not consent, when
+I begged his permission to uncover my eyes; nevertheless, I, who have a
+sort of a chip of curiosity, and an eager desire to know what I am
+forbid to enquire about fair and softly, without being perceived by any
+living soul, pulled down upon my nose the handkerchief that covered my
+eyes, and by these means had a glimpse of the earth, which seemed no
+bigger than a grain of mustard, and the men that walked upon it almost
+as little as hazle nuts; so you may guess how high we must have soared
+by that time.’
+
+To this asseveration the duchess answered, ‘Have a care, friend Sancho;
+from what you say, it appears that it could not be the earth, but the
+men walking upon it, whom you saw: for if the earth appeared like a
+grain of mustard, and every man as big as a nut, it clearly follows,
+that one man must have covered the whole earth.’—‘Very true,’ said
+Sancho; ‘but, for all that, I had a side-view, by which I discovered the
+whole globe.’—‘Take notice, Sancho,’ resumed the duchess, ‘it is
+impossible to see the whole of any thing by a side-view.’—‘I know
+nothing of views,’ replied the squire; ‘this only I know, your ladyship
+ought to consider, that as we flew by inchantment, so might I, by
+inchantment, see the whole earth, and all the men upon it, in any sort
+of view whatsoever: and if your ladyship will not believe me in that, no
+more will you believe me when I tell you, that pushing up the
+handkerchief towards my eye-brows, I found myself within a hand’s
+breadth and a half of heaven, which I’ll assure your ladyship upon oath
+is very huge; and it came to pass, that our road lay close to the seven
+nanny-goats[182]: now, I having been a goatherd in my youth, before God
+and my conscience! I no sooner set eyes on them, than I was seized with
+the inclination to divert myself a little with the pretty creatures, and
+if I had not done it, I believe I should have burst for vexation. Come
+on then, what does me I? but, without saying a word to any living soul,
+not even to my master, fairly and softly slide down from Clavileno, and
+sport with the nannies, which are like violets and lilies, for the space
+of three quarters of an hour, and all that time the horse did not budge
+a step from the place.’
+
+‘And while honest Sancho diverted himself with the goats,’ said the
+duke, ‘how was Signior Don Quixote entertained?’ To this interrogation
+the knight replied, ‘As all these adventures and incidents are out of
+the ordinary course of nature, we are not to wonder at what Sancho has
+told; for my own part, I can safely affirm, that I neither shoved up nor
+pulled down the bandage, nor did see either heaven, or earth, or sea, or
+land. True it is, I perceived we passed through the region of the air,
+and even bordered upon the region of fire, but that we travelled beyond
+it I cannot believe; for the fiery region being between the sphere of
+the moon and the utmost region of the air, we could not reach that
+firmament in which are placed the seven nannies, as Sancho calls them,
+without being scorched to death; and seeing we are not scorched, either
+Sancho lyes, or Sancho dreams.’—‘I neither lye nor dream,’ cried the
+squire; ‘let them ask the marks of the nanny-goats, and by my answers
+you will perceive whether or not I speak truth.’—‘Describe them, then,
+Sancho,’ said the duchess. ‘Two of them,’ replied Sancho, ‘are green,
+two carnation, two blue, and one motley.’—‘This is a new breed,’ said
+the duke; ‘in our region of earth there are no such colours; I mean,
+among the nanny-goats.’—‘That is very plain,’ replied the squire; ‘there
+must be some difference between the goats of heaven and those upon
+earth.’—‘Pray, tell me, Sancho,’ said his grace, ‘didst thou see never a
+he-goat among those females[183]?’—‘No, my lord,’ answered the squire;
+‘I have been told none of those pass beyond the horns of the moon.’
+
+They did not chuse to interrogate him farther about his journey; for
+they concluded that Sancho was in a fair way to travel through all the
+heavens above, and tell the news of each, though he had never stirred
+from the garden.
+
+Finally, thus ended the adventure of the afflicted duenna, which
+afforded a fund for laughter to the duke and duchess, not only at that
+time, but during the whole course of their lives; as well as matter for
+Sancho to relate, had he lived whole centuries.
+
+Don Quixote coming to the squire, whispered in his ear, ‘Hark ye,
+Sancho; since you would have us believe what you say, touching the
+things you saw in heaven, I desire the like credit from you with regard
+to those things I saw in the cave of Montesinos: that’s all.’
+
+Footnote 181:
+
+ Equivalent to Abington law; in consequence of which, a criminal is
+ first executed, and then tried. Peralvillo is a village near Ciuidad
+ Real, in Castile, where the officers of the holy brotherhood execute
+ robbers taken _in flagrante_, who require no trial. Hence the phrase,
+ ‘_La justicia de Peralvillo, que aborcado el hombre, le baze la
+ Pesquisa_.’ i. e. ‘Peralvillo law, which begins the process after the
+ man is hanged.’
+
+Footnote 182:
+
+ In Spain, the Pleiades are vulgarly called _cabrillas_, i. e.
+ nanny-goats.
+
+Footnote 183:
+
+ There is a kind of pleasantry in this question of the duke, which
+ cannot be translated; for the Spanish word, _cabron_, signifies a
+ cuckold, as well as an he-goat.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. X.
+ CONTAINING DON QUIXOTE’S INSTRUCTIONS TO SANCHO PANZA,
+ BEFORE HE SET OUT FOR HIS GOVERNMENT—
+ WITH OTHER WELL WEIGHED INCIDENTS.
+
+
+The duke and duchess were so well pleased with the diverting and happy
+success of the adventure of the afflicted duenna, that they resolved to
+proceed with the jest, seeing what a proper subject they had to make it
+pass for earnest. Having, therefore, communicated their scheme and
+instructions to their servants and vassals, touching their behaviour to
+Sancho in his government of the promised island; on the day succeeding
+the flight of Clavileno, the duke desired him to prepare and make
+himself ready to set out for his government, as the islanders already
+longed for him as much as for May showers.
+
+Sancho, having made his obeisance, ‘Since my descent from heaven,’ said
+he, ‘and since from its lofty summit I have viewed the earth, and found
+it of such small extent, my desire of being a governor is much
+moderated; for what grandeur can there be in reigning over a grain of
+mustard-seed? or what dignity and empire in governing half a dozen of
+mortals no bigger than filberts? for the whole earth seemed to contain
+nothing more. If your lordship would be pleased to bestow upon me a
+small trifling space in heaven, though it should not be above half a
+league, I would more gladly receive it than the best island in the
+world.’—‘You must consider, friend Sancho,’ replied the duke, ‘that I
+have it not in my power to give away any part of heaven; no, not a
+nail’s breadth, these favours and benefits are in the gift of God alone.
+What is in my power, I freely give you; namely, a good island, right and
+tight, round and well-proportioned, above measure fertile, and so
+abounding with all good things, that if you mind your hits, you may with
+the riches of earth purchase the opulence of heaven.’—‘Well, then,’
+cried Sancho, ‘let this island be forthcoming, and I will struggle hard,
+but I shall be such a governor that in spite of knaves, I may go to
+heaven; and take notice, it is not from avarice that I desire to quit my
+cottage, and raise myself to a footing with my betters; but solely to
+taste and try what it is to be a governor.’—‘Nay, if once you taste it,’
+said the duke, ‘you will be ready to eat your fingers after the
+government; for nothing is so delicious as to command and be obeyed;
+certain I am, that when your master shall come to be an emperor, as will
+doubtless be the case, considering the current of his affairs, it will
+not be in the power of any person upon earth to tear it from him, and he
+will sorely grieve, and heartily rue the time he has lost before his
+advancement to such an imperial station.’—‘Indeed, my lord,’ replied
+Sancho, ‘I imagine it must be a very pleasant thing to govern, even
+though it should be but a flock of sheep.’—‘May I be buried with you,
+Sancho, but you know every thing!’ answered the duke; ‘I hope you will
+turn out such a governor as your judgment and sagacity seem to promise:
+but here let that matter rest; and take notice, that tomorrow morning
+you must set out for the government of the island; and this evening you
+shall be accommodated with a convenient dress, and all other necessaries
+for your departure.’—‘They may dress me as they will,’ said the squire;
+‘but, be that as it may, I shall still be Sancho Panza.’—‘True,’ replied
+the duke; ‘but the garb ought always to be suited to the dignity and
+function of the profession; for it would be a great impropriety in a
+lawyer to appear in the dress of a soldier, or in a soldier to wear
+canonicals; you, Sancho, must wear an habit that shall partly bespeak
+the gown, and partly the sword; for in the island which I have bestowed
+upon you, letters and arms are both necessary.’—‘As for letters,’
+answered Sancho, ‘I am but indifferently stored, as I am even ignorant
+of the a, b, c; but, provided I remember my Christ-cross, I shall be
+sufficiently qualified for a good governor. With regard to arms, I shall
+use those that may be put into my hand, until I can stand no longer, and
+God be my shield!’—‘With such an excellent memory,’ said the duke,
+‘Sancho can never fall into the least mistake.’
+
+Here they were joined by Don Quixote, who understanding the subject of
+their conversation, and the short space allotted to Sancho to prepare
+for his departure, took the squire by the hand, with the duke’s
+permission, and led him to his apartment, in order to instruct him how
+to behave in his office. Having entered the chamber, he locked the door,
+and obliging Sancho to sit down by him, spoke to this effect, in a grave
+and solemn tone.
+
+‘I return infinite thanks to Heaven, friend Sancho, for having ordained,
+that, before I myself have met with the least success, good fortune hath
+gone forth to bid thee welcome. I, who had balanced the remuneration of
+thy service in my own prosperity, find myself in the very rudiments of
+promotion; while thou, before thy time, and contrary to all the laws of
+reasonable progression, findest thy desire accomplished. Other people
+bribe, solicit, importune, attend levees, intreat, and persevere,
+without obtaining their suit; and another comes, who, without knowing
+why or wherefore, finds himself in possession of that office to which so
+many people laid claim; and here the old saying is aptly introduced, A
+pound of good luck is worth a ton of merit. Thou, who in comparison to
+me, art doubtless an ignorant dunce, without rising early, or sitting up
+late, or, indeed, exerting the least industry; without any pretension
+more or less, than that of being breathed upon by knight-errantry, seest
+thyself created governor of an island, as if it was a matter of
+moonshine. All this I observe, O Sancho, that thou mayest not attribute
+thy success to thy own deserts; but give thanks to Heaven for having
+disposed matters so beneficially in thy behalf, and then make thy
+acknowledgments to that grandeur which centers in the profession of
+knight-errantry. Thy heart being thus predisposed to believe what I have
+said, be attentive, O my son, to me, who am thy Cato, thy counsellor,
+thy north pole, and guide, to conduct thee into a secure harbour, from
+the tempestuous sea into which thou art going to be engulphed; for great
+posts, and offices of state, are no other than a profound gulph of
+confusion.
+
+‘In the first place, O my son, you are to fear God: the fear of God is
+the beginning of wisdom; and if you are wise you cannot err.
+
+‘Secondly, you must always remember who you are, and endeavour to know
+yourself; a study of all others the most difficult. This self knowledge
+will hinder you from blowing yourself up like a frog, in order to rival
+the size of an ox; if, therefore, you succeed in this learning, the
+consideration of thy having been a swineherd, will, like the peacock’s
+ugly feet, be a check upon thy folly and pride.’—‘I own, I once kept
+hogs, when I was a boy,’ said Sancho; ‘but after I grew up, I quitted
+that employment, and took care of geese; but I apprehend that matter is
+not of great consequence, for all governors are not descended from the
+kingly race.’—‘No, sure,’ answered the knight; ‘and, for that reason,
+those who are not of noble extraction, ought to sweeten the gravity of
+their function with mildness and affability; which, being prudently
+conducted, will screen them from those malicious murmurs that no station
+can escape. Rejoice, Sancho, in the lowness of your pedigree, and make
+no scruple of owning yourself descended from peasants; for nobody will
+endeavour to make you blush for that of which they see you are not
+ashamed; and value yourself more upon being a virtuous man of low
+degree, than upon being a proud sinner of noble birth. Innumerable are
+those, who, from an humble stock, have risen to the pontifical and
+imperatorial dignity; a truth which I could prove by so many examples,
+that you would not have patience to hear them.
+
+‘Take notice, Sancho, if you chuse virtue for your medium, and pique
+yourself upon performing worthy actions, you will have no cause to envy
+noblemen and princes; for blood is hereditary, but virtue is acquired;
+consequently, this last has an intrinsick value, which the other does
+not possess.
+
+‘This being the case, as undoubtedly it is, if peradventure any one of
+your relations should come to visit you in your island, you must not
+discountenance and affront him; but, on the contrary, let him be kindly
+received and entertained; and, in so doing, you will act conformably to
+the will of Heaven, which is displeased at seeing its own handy work
+despised; and perform your duty to the well-concerted rights of nature.
+
+‘If you send for your wife, (and, indeed, those who are concerned in
+governing ought not to be long without their helpmates) take pains in
+teaching, improving, and civilizing her; for all that a sagacious
+governor can acquire, is very often lost and squandered by a foolish
+rustick wife.
+
+‘If, perchance, you should become a widower, a circumstance that may
+possibly happen, and have it in your power to make a more advantageous
+match, you must not chuse such a yoke-fellow as will serve for an
+angling-hook, fishing-rod, or equivocating hood[184]; for verily I say
+unto thee, all that a judge’s wife receives must be accounted for at the
+general clearance, by the husband, who will repay fourfold after death
+what he made no reckoning of during life.
+
+‘Never conduct yourself by the law of your own arbitrary opinion, which
+is generally the case with those ignorant people who presume upon their
+own self-sufficiency.
+
+‘Let the tears of the poor find more compassion in thy breast, though
+not more justice, than the informations of the rich.
+
+‘Endeavour to investigate the truth from among the promises and presents
+of the opulent, as well as from the sighs and importunities of the
+needy.
+
+‘When equity can, and ought to take place, inflict not the whole rigour
+of the law upon the delinquent; for severity is not more respected than
+compassion, in the character of a judge.
+
+‘If ever you suffer the rod of justice to be bent a little, let it not
+be warped by the weight of corruption, but the bowels of mercy.
+
+‘If ever you should have an opportunity to judge the process of your
+enemy, recal the attention from the injury you have received, and fix it
+wholly upon the truth of the case.
+
+‘In another man’s cause, be not blinded by private affection; for the
+errors thus committed are generally incurable; or, if they admit of
+remedy, it will be greatly at the expence of your fortune and credit.
+
+‘If a beautiful woman should come to demand justice, withdraw your eyes
+from her tears, and your hearing from her sighs, and deliberate at a
+distance upon the substance of her demand, unless you have a mind that
+your reason should be overwhelmed by her complaint, and your virtue
+buried in her sighs.
+
+‘Abuse not him in word whom you are resolved to chastise in deed; for to
+such a wretch, the pain of the punishment will be sufficient, without
+the addition of reproach.
+
+‘In judging the delinquents who shall fall under your jurisdiction,
+consider the miserable object man, subject to the infirmities of our
+depraved nature; and, as much as lies in your power, without injury to
+the contrary party, display your clemency and compassion; for although
+all the attributes of God are equally excellent, that of mercy has a
+better effect in our eye, and strikes with greater lustre than justice.
+
+‘If you observe and conduct yourself by these rules and precepts,
+Sancho, your days will be long upon the face of the earth; your fame
+will be eternal, your reward compleat, and your felicity unutterable;
+your children will be married according to your wish; they and their
+descendants will enjoy titles; you shall live in peace and friendship
+with all mankind: when your course of life is run, death will overtake
+you in an happy and mature old age, and your eyes will be shut by the
+tender and delicate hands of your posterity, in the third or fourth
+generation.
+
+‘The remarks I have hitherto made, are documents touching the decoration
+of your soul; and now you will listen to those that regard the ornaments
+of the body.’
+
+Footnote 184:
+
+ The phrase, _No quiero de tu capilla_, alludes to the practice of
+ friars, who, when charity is offered, hold out their hoods to receive
+ it, while they pronounce a refusal with their tongues.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XI.
+ OF THE SECOND SERIES OF INSTRUCTIONS WHICH DON QUIXOTE GAVE
+ TO SANCHO PANZA.
+
+
+Who that had heard this discourse of Don Quixote, would not have taken
+him for a person of sound judgment, and excellent disposition? but, as
+we have oftentimes observed, in the progress of this sublime history,
+his madness never appeared except when the string of chivalry was
+touched; and on all other subjects of conversation, he displayed a clear
+and ready understanding; so that every minute his works discredit his
+judgment, and his judgment his works. But, in this second set of
+instructions communicated to Sancho, he discovered great ingenuity, and
+raised his madness and discretion to a most elevated pitch.
+
+Sancho listened with the utmost attention, and endeavoured to retain his
+advice, like a man who desired to preserve it, as the infallible means
+to promote the happy birth of that government with which he was so far
+gone. Don Quixote then proceeded in these terms.
+
+‘With respect to the government of your person and family, Sancho: in
+the first place, I charge you to be cleanly, and pare your nails; and do
+not let them grow, like some people whose ignorance teaches them that
+long nails beautify the hand, as if that additional excrement which they
+neglect to cut, were really and truly the nail; whereas, it more nearly
+resembles the talons of a lizard-hunting wind-whiffer, and is a most
+beastly and extraordinary abuse.
+
+‘You must never appear loose and unbuttoned; for a slovenly dress
+denotes a disorderly mind; unless that looseness and negligence be the
+effect of cunning, as we suppose to have been the case with Julius
+Cæsar.
+
+‘Examine sagaciously the profits of your place, and if they will afford
+livery to your servants, let it be rather decent and substantial, than
+gay and tawdry; and be sure to divide it between your servants and the
+poor. For example, if you can clothe six pages, put three in livery, and
+clothe as many poor boys; and then you will have pages for Heaven as
+well as earth: now, this is a method of giving livery, which the
+vain-glorious could never conceive.
+
+‘Abstain from eating garlick and onions, lest your breath should
+discover your rusticity.
+
+‘Walk leisurely, speak distinctly, but not so as to seem delighted with
+your own discourse; for all affectation is disagreeable.
+
+‘Dine sparingly, and eat very little at supper; for the health of the
+whole body depends upon the operation of the stomach.
+
+‘Be temperate in drinking; and consider, that excess of wine will
+neither keep a secret nor perform a promise.
+
+‘Beware, Sancho, of chewing on both sides of your mouth, as well as
+eructing before company.’—‘I do not understand what you mean by
+eructing,’ said the squire. ‘By eructing,’ answered the knight, ‘I mean
+belching; which though one of the most expressive, is at the same time
+one of the most vulgar terms of our language; therefore, people of taste
+have had recourse to the Latin tongue, saying “To eruct,” instead of “To
+belch,” and substituting eructations in the room of belchings; and
+though some people may not understand these terms, it is of small
+importance; for time and use will introduce and render them
+intelligible; and this is what we call enriching the language, over
+which the practice of the vulgar has great influence.’—‘Truly, Signior,’
+said Sancho, ‘one of the advices and good counsels which I intend to
+remember, must be that of not belching; for it is a fault of which I am
+very often guilty.’—‘Eructing, Sancho, and not belching.’ replied Don
+Quixote. ‘Eructing it shall be henceforward,’ answered the squire; ‘and
+I will take care that it shall not be forgotten.’
+
+‘Moreover, Sancho, you must not intermingle so many proverbs with your
+discourse; for, although proverbs are short sentences, you very often
+bring them in by the head and shoulders, so preposterously, that they
+look more like the ravings of distraction than well-chosen apothegms.’
+
+‘That defect God himself must remedy,’ said Sancho; ‘for I have more
+proverbs by heart, than would be sufficient to fill a large book; and,
+when I speak, they croud together in such a manner, as to quarrel for
+utterance; so that my tongue discharges them just as they happen to be
+in the way, whether they are or are not to the purpose: but I will take
+care henceforward, to throw out those that may be suitable to the
+gravity of my office; for, Where there’s plenty of meat, the supper will
+soon be compleat. He that shuffles does not cut. A good hand makes a
+short game; and, It requires a good brain, to know when to give and
+retain.’—‘Courage, Sancho,’ cried Don Quixote, ‘squeeze, tack, and
+string your proverbs together, here are none to oppose you. My mother
+whips me, and I whip the top. Here am I exhorting thee to suppress thy
+proverbs, and in an instant thou hast spewed forth a whole litany of
+them, which are as foreign from the subject as an old ballad. Remember,
+Sancho, I do not say that a proverb, properly applied, is amiss; but to
+throw in, and string together, old saws, helter skelter, renders
+conversation altogether mean and despicable.
+
+‘When you appear on horseback, do not lean backwards over the saddle,
+nor stretch out your legs stiffly from the horse’s belly, nor let them
+hang dangling in a slovenly manner, as if you was upon the back of
+Dapple; for some ride like jockies, and some like gentlemen.
+
+‘Be very moderate in sleeping; for he who does not rise with the sun,
+cannot enjoy the day; and observe, O Sancho! Industry is the mother of
+prosperity; and Laziness, her opposite, never saw the accomplishment of
+a good wish.
+
+‘The last advice which I shall now give thee, although it does not
+relate to the ornament of the body, I desire thou wilt carefully
+remember; for, in my opinion, it will be of as much service to thee, as
+any I have hitherto mentioned; and this it is: Never engage in a dispute
+upon pedigree, at least, never compare one with another; for in all
+comparisons, one must of consequence be preferred to the other; and he
+whom you have abased will abhor you; nor will you ever reap the least
+return from him whom you have extolled.
+
+‘Your garb shall consist of breeches and stockings; a full waistcoat,
+with skirts and hanging sleeves, and a loose coat; but never think, of
+wearing trunk hose, which neither become gentlemen nor governors.
+
+‘This is all that occurs to me at present, in the way of advice; but, in
+process of time, my instructions shall be proportioned to thy occasions,
+provided thou wilt take care to communicate, from time to time, the
+nature of thy situation.’
+
+‘Signior,’ said Sancho, ‘I plainly perceive that all the advices you
+have given me, are sound and good, and profitable; but of what
+signification will they be, if I forget them all? Indeed, as for the
+matter of not letting my nails grow, or marrying another wife, in case I
+should have an opportunity, it will not easily slip out of my brain; but
+as to those other gallimawfries, quirks, and quiddities, I neither do
+retain them, nor shall I ever retain more of them than of last year’s
+rain; and therefore, it will be necessary to let me have them in
+writing; for, though I myself can neither read nor write, I will give
+them to my confessor, that he may repeat and beat them into my noddle,
+as there shall be occasion.’
+
+‘Ah, sinner that I am!’ exclaimed Don Quixote, ‘what a scandal it is for
+governors to be so ignorant, that they can neither read nor write! Thou
+must know, Sancho, that for a man to be totally devoid of letters, or
+left-handed, argues either that he was descended from the very lowest
+and meanest of people, or that he was so wicked and stubborn, that good
+example and judicious precept have had no effect upon his mind or
+understanding. This is a great defect in thy character, and I wish thou
+wouldst learn, if possible, to write thy name.’—‘I can sign my name very
+well,’ answered Sancho; ‘for, during my stewardship of the brotherhood,
+I learned to make such letters as are ruddled into packs, and those they
+tell me stood for my name; besides, I can feign myself lame of my
+right-hand, and keep a secretary to sign in my room; so that there is a
+remedy for every thing but death. And I having the cudgel in my hand,
+will make them do as I command; for he whose father is mayor—you
+know—and I shall be a governor, which is still better——Let them come and
+see, but not throw their squibs or slanders at me: otherwise they may
+come for wool and go home shorn. The house itself will tell, if God
+loves its master well. A rich man’s folly is wisdom in the world’s eye:
+now, I being rich as being governor, and liberal withal, as I intend to
+be, nobody will spy my defects. Make yourself honey, and a clown will
+have flies. You are worth as much as you have, said my grannam; and,
+Might overcomes right.’
+
+‘O! God’s curse light on thee,’ cried Don Quixote: ‘threescore thousand
+devils fly away with thee and thy proverbs! A full hour hast thou been
+stringing them together, and every one has been like a dagger to my
+soul. Take my word for it, these proverbs will bring thee one day to the
+gallows! for these, thy vassals will deprive thee of thy government, or
+at least enter into associations against thee. Tell me, numscull, where
+didst thou find this heap of old saws? or how didst thou learn to apply
+them, wiseacre? It makes me sweat like a day-labourer, to utter one
+proverb as it ought to be applied.’—‘’Fore God, Sir master of mine,’
+replied Sancho, ‘your worship complains of mere trifles. Why the devil
+should you be in dudgeon with me for making use of my own? I have no
+other fortune or stock, but proverbs upon proverbs; and now there are no
+less than four at my tongue’s end, that come as pat to the purpose as
+pears in a basket; but, for all that, they shall not come forth; for,
+sagacious silence is Sancho.[185]’—‘That thou art not, Sancho,’ said the
+knight; ‘far from being sagaciously silent, thou art an obstinate and
+eternal babbler. Nevertheless, I would fain hear those four proverbs
+that are so pat to the purpose; for I have been rummaging my whole
+memory, which I take to be a good one, and not a proverb occurs to my
+recollection.’—‘What can be better than these?’ replied the squire:
+‘Never thrust your thumb between another man’s grinders; and to, Get out
+of my house! what would you with my wife? there is no reply: Whether the
+stone goes to the pitcher, or the pitcher to the stone, ’ware pitcher.
+Now all these fit to a hair. Let no man meddle with a governor or his
+substitute; otherwise he will suffer, as if he had thrust his finger
+between two grinders; and even if they should not be grinders, if they
+are teeth, it makes little difference: then, to what a governor says,
+there is no reply to be made, no more than to, Get out of my house! what
+would you with my wife? and as to the stone and the pitcher, a blind man
+may see the meaning of it: Wherefore, let him who spies a mote in his
+neighbour’s eye, look first to the beam in his own, that people may not
+say of him, The dead mare was frighted at the flay’d mule; and your
+worship is very sensible that a fool knows more in his own house than a
+wise man in that of his neighbour.’—‘There, Sancho, you are mistaken.’
+answered Don Quixote; ‘a fool knows nothing either in his own or his
+neighbour’s house; because no edifice of understanding can be raised
+upon the foundation of folly. But here let the subject rest: if thou
+shouldest misbehave in thy government, thine will be the fault and mine
+the shame; I console myself, however, in reflecting that I have done my
+duty in giving thee advice, with all the earnestness and discretion in
+my power; so that I have acquitted myself in point of promise and
+obligation. God conduct thee, Sancho, and govern thee in thy government,
+and deliver me from an apprehension I have, that thou wilt turn the
+island topsy turvy; a misfortune which I might prevent, by discovering
+to the duke what thou art, and telling him all that paunch and
+corpulency of thine is no other than a bag full of proverbs and
+impertinence.’
+
+‘Signior,’ replied Sancho, ‘if your worship really thinks I am not
+qualified for that government, I renounce it from henceforward forever.
+Amen. I have a greater regard for a nail’s breadth of my soul, than my
+whole body; and I can subsist as bare Sancho, upon a crust of bread and
+an onion, as well as governor on capons and partridges; for, While we
+sleep, great and small, rich and poor, are equal all. If your worship
+will consider, your worship will find, that you yourself put this scheme
+of government into my head; as for my own part, I know no more of the
+matter than a bustard; and if you think the governorship will be the
+means of my going to the devil, I would much rather go as simple Sancho
+to Heaven, than as a governor to hell fire.’
+
+‘Before God!’ cried the knight, ‘from these last reflections thou hast
+uttered, I pronounce thee worthy to govern a thousand islands. Thou hast
+an excellent natural disposition, without which all science is naught:
+recommend thyself to God, and endeavour to avoid errors in the first
+intention; I mean, let thy intention and unshaken purpose be, to deal
+righteously in all thy transactions; for Heaven always favours the
+upright design. And now let us go in to dinner; for I believe their
+graces wait for us.’
+
+Footnote 185:
+
+ Instead of _saintly_.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XII.
+ GIVING AN ACCOUNT OF THE MANNER IN WHICH
+ SANCHO WAS CONDUCTED TO THE GOVERNMENT,
+ AND A STRANGE ADVENTURE THAT HAPPENED TO DON QUIXOTE IN THE CASTLE.
+
+
+The original of the history, it is said, relates that the interpreter
+did not translate this chapter as it had been written by Cid Hamet
+Benengeli, who bewails his fate in having undertaken such a dry and
+confined history as that of Don Quixote; which obliged him to treat of
+nothing but the knight and his squire, without daring to launch out into
+other more grave and entertaining episodes and digressions. He
+complained, that to be thus restricted in his hand, his pen, and his
+invention, to one subject only, so as to be obliged to speak through the
+mouths of a few persons, was an insupportable toil, that produced no
+fruit to the advantage of the author; and that in order to avoid this
+inconvenience, he had in the first part used the artifice of some
+novels, such as the Impertinent Curiosity, and the Captive, which were
+detached from the history, although many particulars there recounted are
+really incidents which happened to Don Quixote; and, therefore, could
+not be suppressed. It was likewise his opinion, as he observes, that
+many readers being wholly ingrossed with the exploits of Don Quixote,
+would not bestow attention upon novels, but pass them over either with
+negligence or disgust, without adverting to the spirit and artifice they
+contain: a truth which would plainly appear, were they to be published
+by themselves, independent of the madness of Don Quixote, and the
+simplicities of Sancho. He would not therefore insert in the second part
+any novels, whether detached or attached; but only a few episodes that
+seem to spring from those very incidents which truth represents; and
+even these, as brief and concise as they could possibly be related: and
+since he includes and confines himself within the narrow limits of
+narration, though his abilities and understanding are sufficient to
+treat the whole universe, he hopes that his work will not be
+depreciated; and begs he may receive due praise, not for what he has
+written, but for what he has left unwrit. Then the history proceeds in
+this manner.
+
+In the evening that succeeded the afternoon on which the knight
+admonished his squire, he gave him his admonitions in writing, that he
+might find some person to read them occasionally; but, scarce had Sancho
+received, than he dropped them by accident, and they fell into the hands
+of the duke, who communicated the paper to the duchess, and both admired
+anew the madness and ingenuity of Don Quixote. Revolving to prosecute
+the jest, they, that very evening, dismissed Sancho with a large retinue
+to the place, which he supposed to be an island; the execution of the
+whole scheme being left to the sagacity of the duke’s steward, who was a
+person of great humour and discretion; for without discretion there can
+be no humour. He it was who acted the part of the Countess Trifaldi,
+with that pleasantry above related. Thus qualified, and in consequence
+of the instructions he received from their graces touching his behaviour
+to Sancho, he had performed his part to admiration. It happened, then,
+that Sancho no sooner beheld the said steward, than he traced in his
+countenance the very features of Trifaldi; and turning to his master,
+‘Signior,’ said he, ‘the devil may fly away with me from this spot where
+I stand, as an honest man, and a believer, if your worship will not
+confess that the face of the duke’s steward here present, is the very
+same with that of the afflicted duenna!’ Don Quixote, having attentively
+considered the steward’s countenance, replied, ‘There is no occasion for
+the devil’s running away with thee, Sancho, either as an honest man or a
+believer; (indeed, I cannot guess thy meaning) for, sure enough, this
+steward’s face is the very same with that of the afflicted duenna; but,
+nevertheless, the steward and the duenna cannot possibly be the same
+person: that would imply a downright contradiction, and this is no time
+to set on foot such enquiries, which would entangle us in the maze of
+inextricable labyrinths. Believe me, friend, we ought to beseech the
+Lord very earnestly to deliver us from those two evils of wicked
+wizzards, and vile inchanters.’—‘But this is no joke,’ answered Sancho;
+‘for I heard him speak a little while ago, and methought the very voice
+of Trifaldi sounded in mine ears. At present, however, I will hold my
+tongue; but, nevertheless, I will keep a strict eye over him from
+henceforward, in order to discover some other mark either to destroy or
+confirm my suspicion.’—‘Do so, Sancho,’ said Don Quixote; ‘and be sure
+to send me notice of the discoveries thou shalt make in this particular,
+as well as of every thing that shall happen to thee in the course of
+thine administration.’
+
+At length Sancho departed with a numerous attendance; he was dressed
+like a gownman, with a long cloak of murrey-coloured camblet, and a cap
+of the same stuff: he rode upon a mule, with short stirrups; and was
+followed by Dapple, who, by the duke’s express order, was adorned with
+rich trappings of flaming silk; so that the governor from time to time
+turned about his head to contemplate the finery of his ass, with whose
+company he was so well content, that he would not have exchanged it for
+that of the German emperor.
+
+At parting, he kissed the hands of the duke and duchess; and asked the
+benediction of his master, which was given with tears, and received with
+a whimper.
+
+Courteous reader, suffer honest Sancho to depart in peace and happy
+time, and lay thy account with two bushels of laughter, which will
+proceed from thy knowing how he behaved himself in office; and in the
+mean time, attend to what befel his master this very night; an incident
+which, if it cannot excite thy laughter, will, at least, induce thee to
+grin like a monkey; for the adventures of Don Quixote must be
+celebrated, either with mirth or admiration.
+
+It is related, then, that Sancho was no sooner gone than his master
+became solitary; and had it been possible, would have revoked the
+commission, and deprived him of his government; but the duchess being
+apprized of his melancholy, desired to know the cause, observing, that
+if it proceeded from Sancho’s absence, there was plenty of squires,
+duennas, and damsels, in the family, who should serve him to the
+satisfaction of his utmost wish. ‘True it is, my Lady Duchess,’
+replied Don Quixote, ‘I feel the absence of Sancho; but that is not
+the principal cause of my seeming sadness; and of all the generous
+proffers of your excellency, I chuse to accept nothing but the
+good-will with which they are made; for the rest, I humbly beg your
+excellency will consent, and permit me to wait upon myself in my own
+apartment.’—‘Truly,’ said the duchess, ‘that must not be; Signior Don
+Quixote shall be served by four of my damsels, as beautiful as
+roses.’—‘With regard to me,’ answered the knight, ‘they will not be
+roses, but thorns to prick my very soul; and, therefore, I will as
+soon fly as permit them, or any thing like them, to enter my chamber.
+If your grace would continue to bestow your favours, which, I own, I
+do not deserve, suffer me to be private, and make use of my own doors,
+that I may raise a wall between my passions and my chastity; a custom
+which I would not forego for all the liberality which your highness is
+pleased to display in my behalf; and, in a word, I will rather sleep
+in my cloaths than consent to be undressed by any person
+whatsoever.’—‘Enough, enough, Signior Don Quixote,’ answered her
+grace; ‘you may depend upon it, I shall give such orders, that not
+even a fly, much less a damsel, shall enter your apartment; I am not a
+person to discompose the decency of Signior Don Quixote, among whose
+virtues, I perceive, that of decorum shines with superior lustre. Your
+worship may dress and undress yourself alone, after your own fashion,
+when and how you please, without lett or impediment; for in your
+chamber you will find every utensil suited to those who sleep under
+lock and key, without being obliged to open upon any necessary
+occasion. Long live the great Dulcinea del Toboso, and may her fame be
+extended around the whole circumference of the earth, seeing she is
+worthy to be beloved by a knight of such valour and chastity; and may
+propitious Heaven infuse into the heart of Sancho Panza, our governor,
+a promptitude to finish his flagellation, that the world may soon
+re-enjoy the beauty of such an excellent lady!’ To this compliment the
+knight replied; ‘Your highness hath spoken like yourself; for from the
+mouths of such benevolent ladies nothing evil can proceed; and
+Dulcinea will be more fortunate, and more renowned through the world,
+by your grace’s approbation, than by all the applause of the greatest
+orators upon earth.’
+
+‘Well then, Signior Don Quixote,’ answered the duchess, ‘it is now
+supper time, and the duke probably stays for us; let us go and sup,
+therefore, that you may be a-bed betimes; for your journey to Candaya
+was not so short, but that it must have fatigued your worship in some
+measure.’—‘Madam,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘I feel no sort of weariness;
+and I swear to your excellency, that in my life I never crossed a better
+or easier going steed than Clavileno; nor can I conceive what should
+induce Malambruno to deprive himself of such a light and gentle
+carriage, by burning it without scruple or hesitation.’—‘As to that
+particular,’ said the duchess, ‘we may suppose, that repenting of the
+injury he had done to the countess and her company, as well as to other
+people, and being sorry for the mischief he must certainly have produced
+as a wizzard and inchanter, he resolved to destroy all the instruments
+of his art; as the principal of these, which gave him the greatest
+uneasiness, because it has transported him from place to place in his
+operations, he burned Clavileno, that by means of his ashes, and the
+trophy of the parchment, the valour of Don Quixote might be eternized.’
+
+The knight made fresh acknowledgments of her grace’s politeness, and
+after supper retired to his apartment, without suffering any person to
+accompany or minister unto his occasions; so much was he afraid of
+meeting with trials, which might provoke or compel him to forego the
+chastity and decorum which he had hitherto preserved for his mistress
+Dulcinea, ever schooling his imagination with the exemplary virtue of
+Amadis, the flower and mirrour of knight-errantry.
+
+Having locked the door behind him, he undressed himself by the light of
+two wax tapers; and in the course of this occupation (O misfortune, ill
+decreed to such a personage!) forth broke—not a volley of sighs, or any
+thing else to discredit the purity of his politeness, but about two
+dozen of stitches in one stocking; which, being thus torn, resembled a
+lattice: a mishap which was the source of extreme affliction to our
+worthy Signior; who, on this occasion, would have given an ounce of
+silver for a drachm of green silk, for his stockings were of that
+colour.
+
+Here Benengeli exclaims, ‘O poverty, poverty! I know not what should
+induce the great Cordovan poet to call thee an holy unfrequented gift.
+I, though a Moor, am very sensible, from my correspondence with
+Christians, that holiness consists in charity, humility, faith, poverty,
+and obedience; yet, nevertheless, I will affirm, that he must be holy
+indeed, who can sit down content with poverty, unless we mean that kind
+of poverty to which one of the greatest saints alludes, when he says,
+“Possess all things as not possessing them,” and this is called
+spiritual poverty. But thou second poverty, which is the cause I spoke
+of, why wouldst thou assault gentlemen of birth rather than any other
+class of people? Why dost thou compel them to cobble their shoes, and
+wear upon their coats one button of silk, another of hair, and a third
+of glass? Why must their ruffs be generally yellow and ill starched?’
+(By the bye, from this circumstance we learn the antiquity of ruffs and
+starch[186].) But, thus he proceeds: ‘O wretched man of noble pedigree!
+who is obliged to administer cordials to his honour, in the midst of
+hunger and solitude, by playing the hypocrite with a toothpick, which he
+affects to use in the street, though he has eat nothing to require that
+act of cleanliness; wretched he! I say, whose honour is ever apt to be
+startled, and thinks that every body, at a league’s distance, observes
+the patch upon his shoe, his greasy hat, and thread-bare cloak, and even
+the hunger that predominates in his belly!’
+
+All these reflections occurred to Don Quixote when he tore his
+stockings; but he consoled himself for the misfortune, when he perceived
+that Sancho had left behind him a pair of travelling-boots, which he
+resolved to wear next day: finally, he crept into bed, where he lay
+pensive and melancholy, as well for the absence of Sancho, as for the
+irreparable misfortune of his stocking, which he would have gladly
+mended, even with silk of a different colour; one of the greatest marks
+of misery which a gentleman can exhibit in the course of his tedious
+poverty. After having extinguished the lights, he found the weather so
+hot that he could not sleep: he therefore arose again, and opened the
+casement of a great window that looked into a fine garden; then it was,
+that perceiving and hearing people walking and talking together, he
+began to listen attentively, while those below spoke so loud that he
+heard the following dialogue.
+
+‘Do not, O Emerencia, press me to sing; for well thou knowest, that from
+the moment this stranger entered the castle, and mine eyes beheld his
+merit, instead of singing, I can do nothing but weep; besides, my lady’s
+sleep is rather slight than profound; and I would not for all the wealth
+in the world, that her grace should find us here. Moreover, suppose she
+should still sleep on, without waking, vain would be my song, unless it
+should awake, and attract the attention of this new Æneas, who is
+arrived in my territories, in order to leave me forlorn.’—‘Let not these
+suppositions have any weight with you, my dear Altisidora,’ replied
+another voice; ‘the duchess is doubtless asleep, and every body in the
+house, except the lord of your heart, and watchman of your soul, who
+must certainly be awake, for I just now heard him open the casement in
+his apartment; sing, therefore, my disastrous friend, in a low, sweet,
+and plaintive tone, to the sound of thy harp; and should the duchess
+overhear us, we will lay the blame upon the heat of the weather.’—‘That
+is not the cause of my hesitation, O Emerencia,’ replied Altisidora;
+‘but, I am afraid that my song will disclose the situation of my heart,
+and I myself be censured by those who never felt the almighty power of
+Love, as a light and liquorish damsel; but, come what will, better have
+an hot face than an heavy heart.’ At that instant an harp was
+ravishingly touched, and Don Quixote hearing the sound, was struck with
+amazement; for his imagination was instantly filled with an infinity of
+similar adventures of rails and gardens, serenades, courtships and
+swoonings, which he had read in his vain books of chivalry; and he
+concluded that some damsel of the duchess was enamoured of him, but that
+modesty compelled her to keep her inclinations secret. Possessed of this
+notion, he began to be afraid of his virtue: but he resolved, in his own
+mind, to hold out to the last; and, recommending himself, with all his
+soul and spirit, to his mistress Dulcinea del Toboso, determined to
+listen to the song. With a view, therefore, to let them know he was
+there, he pretended to sneeze, a circumstance which not a little pleased
+the damsels, who desired nothing so much as that Don Quixote should hear
+them. Then the harp being tuned, Altisidora, after a flourish, began the
+following ditty.
+
+
+ SONG.
+
+
+ ‘O Thou! who now a-bed,
+ In Holland sheets are laid,
+ And sleep’st from night till morn,
+ Untouch’d by care and scorn;
+ The knight of greatest worth
+ La Mancha e’er brought forth;
+ More chaste an hundred fold,
+ Than pure Arabian gold;
+ O hear an hapless maid
+ By cruel love betray’d!
+ The flame of thy two suns
+ Hath scorch’d her to the bones!
+ Thou seeking thy own foe,
+ Hast found another’s woe:
+ Thou gav’st the wound, and sure
+ Wilt not refuse the cure.
+ O tell me, valiant youth,
+ (So God shall prosper truth)
+ Wast thou in desarts bred,
+ Or among mountains fed?
+ Did serpents give thee suck,
+ On some bleak barren rock,
+ Deep in the wild recess
+ Of forest or morass?
+ Dulcinea fat and fair,
+ May boast her shape and air,
+ That in subjection hold
+ A tyger fierce and bold:
+ Her fame shall live in stanza,
+ From Ebro to Arlanza,
+ From Tagus to Henarez,
+ From Seine to Manganarez,
+ Would I her place could fill,
+ I’d give her for good will,
+ My gayest petticoat
+ With golden fringes wrought,
+ How happy then should I
+ In thine embraces lie!
+ Or on some cushion loll,
+ And scratch thy valiant poll.
+ Such joys are far above
+ The merits of my love;
+ Let me, then, bending low,
+ With rapture kiss thy toe.
+ What presents would be made,
+ Of sattin and brocade!
+ I’d give thee shoes and socks,
+ Silk hose with silver clocks;
+ Of cash uncounted sums,
+ And pearls as big as plums;
+ So precious, each would sell
+ As perfect nonpareil.
+ Manchegan Nero, say,
+ Dost thou, aloof, survey
+ The flames that rage and smart
+ Within my love-sick heart?
+ A maid I vow and swear,
+ Young, tender, and sincere;
+ As yet I have not seen
+ The borders of fifteen.
+ My sides are not awry,
+ Nor lame, nor blind, am I:
+ My locks with ribbands bound,
+ Like lilies, sweep the ground:
+ My nose is flat, ’tis true,
+ And eke my mouth askew;
+ But teeth as topaz fine,
+ Compleat my charms divine;
+ My voice, as you may hear,
+ Is tuneful, sweet, and clear;
+ My temper soft and good,
+ If rightly understood.
+ These beauties all so clever,
+ Are yielded to thy quiver,
+ And I who tell my story,
+ Am call’d Altisidory.’
+
+Here ended the song of the hapless Altisidora; and here began the horror
+of the courted Don Quixote; who, fetching a heavy sigh, said within
+himself—‘What an unfortunate errant am I, whom no damsel can behold
+without being enamoured of my person! and how hapless is the peerless
+Dulcinea del Toboso, who cannot enjoy my incomparable constancy, without
+a rival! Queens, what would you have? Empresses, why do you persecute
+her beauty? Damsels of fifteen, why do you molest such virtue? Leave,
+leave, I say, that wretched lady, to taste, enjoy, and triumph, in the
+lot which love hath decreed her, by subduing my heart, and captivating
+my soul. Take notice, enamoured tribe, that to Dulcinea alone I am sugar
+paste, but flint to all the rest of her sex: to her I am honey; but gall
+and bitterness to such as you. In my eye, Dulcinea alone is beauteous,
+wise, gay, chaste, and well-born; but all others are homely, foolish,
+idle, and of humble birth. To be her slave, and her’s alone, nature has
+thrown me into the world; Altisidora may weep or sing; and that lady may
+despair, on whose account I was pummelled in the castle of the inchanted
+Moor; Dulcinea’s I am resolved to be, boiled or roasted, neat, chaste,
+and well-bred, in spite of all the witchcraft upon earth.’ So saying, he
+shut the casement with a flap, and retired to bed, in as much anxiety
+and concern as if some great misfortune had befallen him. There, then,
+we will leave him for the present, as we are summoned by the mighty
+Panza, who is impatient to begin his famous administration.
+
+Footnote 186:
+
+ Cervantes has been frequently caught napping, and here in particular:
+ How could this be any proof of the antiquity of ruffs, when the
+ adventure happened after the first part of Don Quixote was published?
+ But, perhaps, this is no other than an ironical animadversion upon the
+ trifling discoveries of antiquarians.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIII.
+ GIVING AN ACCOUNT OF THE MANNER IN WHICH SANCHO PANZA
+ TOOK POSSESSION OF HIS ISLAND, AND BEGAN HIS ADMINISTRATION.
+
+
+O Thou! perpetual explorer of the antipodes, torch of nature, eye of
+Heaven, and agreeable motive for wine-cooling jars, Thymbrius here,
+Phœbus there, archer in one place, physician in another, father of
+poetry, and inventor of musick; thou who always risest, but never
+settest, although thou seemest to set. Thee I invoke, O sun! by whose
+assistance man is by man engendered; thee I implore, that thou would’st
+favour and enlighten the obscurity of my genius, and enable me to write
+with precision an account of the great Sancho Panza’s administration:
+for, without thy aid, I find myself lukewarm, feeble, and confused.
+
+To begin, then: Sancho, with his whole retinue, arrived at a town
+containing about a thousand inhabitants, one of the best in the duke’s
+possession; which they told Sancho was called the Island Barataria,
+either because the name of the place was really Barataria, or because he
+had very cheaply purchased the government[187]. When he reached the
+gates of the town, which was walled, the magistrates came forth to
+receive him, the bells were set a ringing, and the inhabitants, with
+expressions of universal joy, conducted him with vast pomp to the great
+church, in order to return thanks to Heaven for his safe arrival; then,
+with some ridiculous ceremonies, they delivered to him the keys of the
+town, and admitted him as perpetual governor of the Island Barataria.
+
+The equipage, matted beard, corpulency, and diminutive stature of the
+new governor, furnished food for admiration to every body who did not
+know the juggle of the contrivance; aye, and even to those acquainted
+with the mystery, who were not a few. In fine, they carried him from the
+church to the town-hall, and placing him upon the bench, the duke’s
+steward addressed himself to the governor in these words: ‘It is an
+ancient custom in this famous island, my lord governor, that he who
+comes to take possession of it is obliged to answer some difficult and
+intricate question that shall be put to him, and by his response the
+inhabitants feel the pulse of their new governor’s genius, according to
+which they rejoice or repine at his arrival.’ While the steward
+pronounced this address, Sancho was contemplating a number of large
+letters written upon the wall that fronted his tribunal, and as he could
+not read, he desired to know the meaning of that painting on the wall.
+‘In that place, my lord,’ replied the steward, ‘is written and recorded,
+the day on which your excellency has taken possession of this island,
+for the inscription runs, On such a day and such a month, Signior Don
+Sancho Panza took possession of this island, and long may he enjoy the
+government thereof.’—‘And whom do they call Don Sancho Panza?’ said the
+governor. ‘Who, but your excellency,’ answered the steward; ‘for this
+island never saw any other Panza than him who sits on that
+tribunal.’—‘Take notice, then, brother,’ replied Sancho, ‘that Don
+belongs not to me, nor did it ever belong to any of my generation.
+Simple Sancho is my name; so was my father called, and so my
+grandfather; and they were all Panzas, without addition of Don or Donna;
+and I begin to imagine there are as many Dons as stones in this island;
+but no more of that: God knows my meaning; and peradventure, if my
+government lasts above three days, I shall weed out these Dons, which,
+from their swarms, must be as troublesome as vermin. But pray, Mr.
+Steward, proceed with your question, which I shall answer to the best of
+my understanding, whether the townsmen should repine or not repine.’
+
+At that instant two men entered the hall, one in the habit of a
+labouring man, and the other a taylor with shears in his hand, who,
+approaching the bench, ‘My lord governor,’ said he, ‘this countryman and
+I are come before your lordship about an affair which I am going to
+explain. This honest man comes yesterday to my shop—for, saving your
+presence, I am an examined taylor, God be praised! and putting a remnant
+of cloth in my hand, “Gaffer,” said he, “is there stuff enough here to
+make me a cap?” I having handled the piece, replied, “Yes.” Now he
+supposing, as I suppose, and to be sure it was a right supposition, that
+I wanted to cabbage part of the stuff, grounding his suspicion on his
+own deceit, and the bad character of us taylors, desired I would see if
+there was enough for two caps; and I, guessing his thoughts, answered,
+“Yes.” And so my gentleman, persisting in his first and evil intention,
+went on adding cap to cap; and I proceeded to answer Yes upon Yes, until
+the number increased to five caps. This very moment he called for them;
+and when I produced them, he not only refused to pay me for my work, but
+even demanded that I should either restore the cloth, or pay him the
+price of it.’—‘Is this really the case, brother?’ said Sancho. ‘Yes, my
+lord,’ replied the countryman; ‘but I beg your lordship would order him
+to shew what sort of caps he has made.’—‘With all my heart,’ cried the
+taylor; who immediately pulling out his hand from under his cloak,
+produced five small caps fixed upon the tops of his four fingers and
+thumb; saying, ‘Here are the five caps which this honest man desired me
+to make; as I shall answer to God and my own conscience, there is not a
+scrap of the stuff remaining; and I am willing to submit the work to the
+inspection of the masters of the company.’ All the people in court
+laughed at the number of caps, and the novelty of the dispute, which
+Sancho having considered for a few moments, ‘Methinks,’ said he, ‘this
+suit requires no great discussion, but may be equitably determined out
+of hand: and therefore my determination is, that the taylor shall lose
+his work, and the countryman forfeit his cloth; and that the caps shall
+be distributed among the poor prisoners, without farther hesitation.’
+
+If the sentence he afterwards passed upon the herdsman’s purse excited
+the admiration of the spectators, this decision provoked their laughter:
+nevertheless, they executed the orders of their governor, before whom
+two old men now presented themselves, one of them having a cane, which
+he used as a walking-staff. The other making up to the governor, ‘My
+lord,’ said he, ‘some time ago, I lent this man ten crowns of gold, to
+oblige and assist him in an emergency, on condition that he should pay
+them upon demand; and for a good while I never asked my money, that I
+might not put him to greater inconvenience in repaying than that which
+he felt when he borrowed the sum; but as he seemed to neglect the
+payment entirely, I have demanded the money again and again, and he not
+only refuses to refund, but also denies that I ever lent him the ten
+crowns; or, if I did, he says he is sure they were repaid: now, I having
+no witnesses to prove the loan, nor he evidence of the re-payment, for
+indeed they never were repaid, I entreat your lordship to take his oath;
+and if he swears the money was returned, I here forgive him the debt, in
+the presence of God.’—‘What have you to say to this charge, honest
+gaffer with the staff?’ said Sancho. ‘My lord,’ replied the senior, ‘I
+confess he lent me the money; and since he leaves the matter to my oath,
+if your lordship will lower your rod of justice, I will make affidavit,
+that I have really and truly returned, and repaid the sum I borrowed.’
+The governor accordingly lowering his wand, the defendant desired the
+plaintiff to hold his cane until he should make oath, because it
+incumbered him; then laying his hand upon the cross of the rod, he
+declared that the other had indeed lent him those ten crowns which he
+now demanded; but that he, the borrower, had returned them into the
+lender’s own hand, and he supposed he dunned him in this manner, because
+he had forgot that circumstance. This oath being administered, the great
+governor asked what farther the creditor had to say to the allegation of
+the other party. And he answered, that doubtless the defendant had spoke
+the truth; for he looked upon him as an honest man, and a good
+Christian; and that as he himself must have forgot the particulars of
+the payment, he would never demand it from thenceforward. Then the
+defendant, taking back his cane, and making his obeisance, quitted the
+court; while Sancho seeing him retire in this manner, and perceiving the
+resignation of the plaintiff, hung down his head a little, and laying
+the fore-finger of his right-hand on one side of his nose, continued in
+this musing posture for a very small space of time: then, raising his
+head, he ordered them to call back the old man with the staff, who had
+retired: he was accordingly brought before Sancho; who said to him,
+‘Honest friend, lend me that staff, I have occasion for it.’—‘With all
+my heart, my lord,’ replied the elder, reaching it to the judge: then
+Sancho took and delivered it to the plaintiff, saying: ‘Now, go your
+ways, a God’s name! you are fully paid.’—‘How, my lord!’ said the old
+man, ‘is this cane then worth ten crowns of Gold?’—‘Yes,’ replied the
+governor, ‘otherwise I am the greatest dunce in nature: and now it shall
+appear, whether or not I have a noddle sufficient to govern a whole
+kingdom.’ So saying, he ordered the cane to be broke in publick; and
+when, in consequence of his command, it was split asunder, ten crowns of
+gold were found in the heart of it, to the astonishment of all the
+spectators, who looked upon their new governor as another Solomon. When
+he was asked how he could conceive that the money was in the cane, he
+answered, that seeing the deponent give his staff to the other party
+before he made oath, then hearing him declare that he had really and
+truly returned the money; and lastly, perceiving that after his
+deposition he took back the staff, it came into his head that the money
+was concealed within the cane. And in this instance, we see that
+governors, though otherwise fools, are sometimes directed in their
+decisions by the hand of God: besides, Sancho had heard such a story
+told by the curate of his village, and his memory was so tenacious, in
+retaining every thing he wanted to remember, that there was not such
+another in the whole island. Finally, the two old men went away: the one
+overwhelmed with shame, and the other miraculously repaid; the
+by-standers were astonished; and he whose province it was to record the
+sayings, actions, and conduct of Sancho, could not determine in his own
+mind, whether he should regard and report him as a simpleton, or a sage.
+
+[Illustration: Governor Sancho Panza and the Woman.]
+
+This suit being determined, a woman came into court, holding fast by a
+man habited like a rich herdsman, and exclaiming with great
+vociferation, ‘Justice, my lord governor, justice! which, if I find not
+on earth, I will go in quest of to heaven! My lord governor of my soul,
+this wicked man has forced me in the middle of a field, and made use of
+my body as if it had been a dirty dishclout: alack, and a-well-a-day! he
+has robbed me of that which I had preserved for three and twenty years,
+in spite of Moors and Christians, natives and foreigners: and have I,
+who was always as hard as a cork-tree, maintained my virtue entire, like
+a salamander in the midst of flames, or wool among brambles, to be
+handled by the clean hands of this Robin Goodfellow?’—‘That must be
+enquired into,’ said Sancho, ‘whether the gallant’s hands be clean or
+no.’ Then turning to the man, he asked what he had to say to the
+complaint of that woman? To this question the culprit replied, with
+great perturbation, ‘My lord, I am a poor herdsman who deal in swine,
+and this morning went to market, saving your presence, with some hogs,
+and the duties and extortions, and one thing and another, ran away with
+almost all they were worth; and so, in my return, I lighted on this
+honest damsel on the road; and the devil, who will always meddle and
+make, and have a finger in every pye, yoked us together. I paid her
+handsomely; but she, not satisfied, laid fast hold on me, nor would she
+quit her hold until she had brought me hither: she alledges I forced
+her; but, by the oath I have taken, or am to take, she lyes; and this is
+the whole truth, without the least crumb of prevarication.’ Then the
+governor asked if he had any money about him; and when he owned he had a
+leathern purse with twenty ducats in his bosom, Sancho ordered him to
+pull it out, and deliver the whole to the complainant. The man obeyed
+this command with fear and trembling; the woman received this money, and
+making a thousand curtsies to all the by-standers, prayed God would
+preserve the life and health of my lord governor, who took such care of
+damsels and orphans in necessity. So saying, she went away, holding the
+purse with both hands, though not before she had examined the contents.
+Scarce had she quitted the court, when Sancho said to the herdsman, who
+stood with tears in his eyes, sending his heart, and many a long look
+after his purse, ‘Harkye, friend! go after that woman, and take the
+purse from her, either by fair means or force, and bring it hither to
+me.’ This command was not imposed upon one that was either deaf or
+doating; for he darted like lightning, in order to put it in execution:
+while all the spectators waited in suspence to see the issue of the
+suit. In a little time the parties returned, but more closely engaged,
+and clinging faster together than before; she, with her petticoat tucked
+up, and the purse in her lap; and he struggling, to no purpose, to take
+it from her; so vigorously did she defend her acquisition, crying aloud,
+‘Justice, in the name of God and his creatures! Take notice, my lord
+governor, of the impudence and presumption of this miscreant, who, in
+the very face of the people, and the middle of the street, wanted to rob
+me of the purse which I received by your lordship’s decree.’—‘Has he
+taken it from you, then?’ said the governor. ‘Taken it from me!’ replied
+the wench; ‘I’ll sooner part with my life than with my purse. I should
+be a precious ninny indeed! otherguise cats must scratch my beard, and
+not such a pitiful muckworm as he. Pincers and hammers, mallets and
+chissels, should not tear it out of my clutches; no, not the claws of a
+lion; my soul and body shall rather be tore asunder.’—‘It is even so,’
+said the man; ‘I submit as the weaker vessel, and own I have not
+strength enough to recover my purse.’ He quitted her accordingly. Then
+the governor said to the woman, ‘Come hither, my virtuous and spirited
+dame; let me see thy purse.’ Which, when she delivered it, he restored
+to the man; and turning to the wench, who was too forceful to be forced,
+‘Sister of mine,’ quoth he, ‘if you had exerted the same vigour and
+perseverance, or even half so much, in preserving your chastity, as you
+have shewn in defending the purse, the force of Hercules would not have
+forced you. Be gone, a-God’s name! be gone, I say, with a vengeance, and
+never more appear in this island, or within six leagues of it, on pain
+of receiving two hundred stripes. Be gone immediately, you chattering,
+shameless impostor!’ The woman, terrified at his menaces, sneaked off,
+hanging her head, and discontented; and the governor spoke to the man in
+these words: ‘Honest friend, get you home with your money, in the name
+of God; and unless you are inclined to lose it again, from henceforward
+avoid all temptations to yoke with any woman whatsoever.’
+
+The herdsman thanked him as sheepishly as he could, and went away, and
+the audience were struck with admiration afresh, at the judgment and
+decisions of their new governor; every circumstance of which being
+recorded by his historiographer, was immediately communicated to the
+duke, who waited for the account with the utmost impatience.
+
+But here let honest Sancho rest a little; for we are summoned in all
+haste by his master, who is greatly disturbed by the musick of
+Altisidora.
+
+Footnote 187:
+
+ _Barato_, signifies cheap.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIV.
+ OF THE DREADFUL CONSTERNATION, AND CATTISH CONCERT,
+ TO WHICH DON QUIXOTE WAS EXPOSED,
+ IN THE COURSE OF THE ENAMOURED ALTISIDORA’S AMOUR.
+
+
+We left the great Don Quixote wrapped up in those cogitations that were
+suggested by the musick of the enamoured damsel Altisidora. With these
+companions he crept into bed; but, as if they had been fleas and vermin,
+they would not suffer him to sleep, or indeed enjoy a moment’s repose,
+especially when reinforced with the reflection of his wounded stocking.
+But as time is so light and nimble, that no rub can retard his career,
+he galloped along upon the hours, and soon ushered in the morning, which
+was no sooner beheld by the knight, than he forsook the gentle down, and
+being the reverse of lazy, dressed himself in his chamoy suit. He put on
+his travelling boots to conceal the misfortune of his hose; threw his
+scarlet cloak over his shoulder, cased his head in a green velvet cap
+trimmed with silver, slung his trusty hanging sword in his buff-belt,
+took up his large rosary, which always depended from his wrist, and with
+great port and solemnity went forth into the hall, where the duke and
+duchess, already dressed, stayed for him. As he passed through a
+gallery, he perceived Altisidora, and the other maiden her friend, who
+stood waiting for his appearance; and he was no sooner beheld by the
+love-sick damsel, than she pretended to faint away; while her companion
+received her in her arms, and with all possible dispatch began to
+unclasp her bosom. The knight seeing her fall, approached the place
+where they were, saying, ‘I know whence these accidents proceed.’ And
+the companion replied, ‘I do not know whence; for Altisidora is the
+healthiest damsel of the whole family, and I never knew her so much as
+fetch a sigh from the first minute of our acquaintance. Ill betide all
+the knights-errant in the world, if they are all so shy and scornful.
+Signior Don Quixote, I wish your worship would leave the place; for this
+poor girl will not come to herself while you stand here.’ To this
+entreaty the knight replied, ‘Be so good, Madam, as to order a lute to
+be left in my apartment; and, at night, I will, to the best of my power,
+console this unfortunate damsel: for a speedy explanation in the
+beginning, is often an effectual cure for those who are indiscreetly in
+love.’ So saying, he went away, that he might not be observed in
+conference with the damsels; and scarce was he gone, when the swooning
+Altisidora coming to herself, said to her companion, ‘It will be
+requisite to leave the lute; for, doubtless, Don Quixote intends to
+entertain us with musick, which cannot be bad if he is the performer.’
+Then they went and gave an account of what had passed, and in particular
+of the lute, to the duchess, who was rejoiced beyond measure, and
+concerted with her lord and her women, how to execute another joke which
+should be more merry than mischievous. This being accordingly contrived,
+they with great glee waited for night; and it came posting along in the
+same pace that brought in the day, which their graces spent in savoury
+discourse with Don Quixote. On this day the duchess really and truly
+dispatched one of her pages, who acted the part of the enchanted
+Dulcinea in the wood, to Tereza Panza, with her husband’s letter, and a
+bundle, which he had left on purpose to be sent home; and the messenger
+had particular orders to bring back a circumstantial detail of every
+thing that should pass between him and the governor’s lady.
+
+This step being taken, and the hour of eleven at night arrived, Don
+Quixote found a lute in his apartment; this he tuned, and having opened
+the window, perceived people walking below in the garden: he immediately
+ran over the strings of his instrument, making as good a prelude as he
+could, then hemming and clearing his pipes, he with an hoarse, though
+not untuneful voice, sung the following sonnet, which he had that very
+day composed.
+
+
+ SONG.
+
+ ‘Love, with idleness combin’d,
+ Will unhinge the tender mind:
+ But to sew, to work, and move,
+ Will exclude the force of love.
+ Blooming maids that would be married,
+ Must in virtue be unwearied:
+ Modesty a dow’r will raise,
+ And be trumpet of their praise.
+ A cavalier will sport and play
+ With a damsel frank and gay;
+ But, when wedlock is his aim,
+ Chuse a maid of sober fame.
+ Passion kindled in the breast,
+ By a stranger or a guest,
+ Enters with the rising sun,
+ And fleets before his race be run.
+ Love that come so suddenly,
+ Ever on the wing to fly,
+ Neither can or will impart
+ Strong impressions to the heart.
+ Pictures drawn on pictures, shew
+ Strange confusion to the view:
+ Second beauty find no base,
+ Where a first has taken place.
+ Then Dulcinea still shall reign
+ Without a rival or a stain;
+ Nor shall fate itself controul
+ Her sway, or blot her from my soul:
+ Constancy, the lover’s boast,
+ I’ll maintain, whate’er it cost.
+ This my virtue will refine;
+ This will stamp my joy divine.’
+
+So far had Don Quixote proceeded with his song, which was overheard by
+the duke and duchess, Altisidora, and almost all the people in the
+castle, when all of a sudden, from the top of a corridore immediately
+above Don Quixote’s window, came down a cord to which above a hundred
+horse-bells were tied; and after these was discharged a whole sackful of
+cats with smaller bells fastened to their tails. Such was the noise
+occasioned by the tinkling of these bells, and the mewling of the cats,
+that even the duke and duchess, who invented the joke, were terrified
+and confounded, and Don Quixote astonished and dismayed; especially when
+two or three cats chanced to enter his window, and coursed up and down
+through his apartment, which seemed to be haunted by a whole legion of
+devils; for they extinguished the lights, and ran to and fro,
+endeavouring to escape, while the rope with the large bells was lowering
+down, and pulling up incessantly; so that the greatest part of the
+people in the family, who were ignorant of the scheme, listened with
+fear and admiration. Then Don Quixote starting up, and unsheathing his
+sword, began to fence with the window, exclaiming aloud, ‘Avaunt,
+malignant enchanters! avaunt, ye wizzard crew! for I am Don Quixote de
+La Mancha, against whom your whole power and malice shall not avail.’ So
+saying, he laid about him among the cats, which had entered his
+apartments; and they sprung towards the casement, from whence two of
+them made their escape; but the third, finding itself hard pressed by
+the valour and back-strokes of the knight, flew at his face, and laid
+fast hold on his nose with its teeth and claws. The pain of this assault
+affected Don Quixote in such a manner, that he began to roar with vast
+vociferation, which being heard by the duke and duchess, who guessed the
+cause of his cries, they ran instantly to his chamber, which they opened
+with a master-key; and lights being brought, they found the poor knight
+endeavouring with all his strength to disengage the cat from his visage.
+Seeing the unequal fray, they made haste to part the combatants; when
+Don Quixote called aloud, ‘Let no man part us; but leave me hand to hand
+with this dæmon, this wizard, this enchanter; and I will make him
+sensible of the difference between him and me, who am Don Quixote de La
+Mancha.’ The cat, however, without minding his threats, stuck fast to
+his nose; but, at length, the duke tore it away, and threw it out at the
+window; so that the knight remained with his face like a sieve, and his
+nose in no very sound condition; though he was very much dissatisfied,
+that they would not suffer him to finish the engagement he had so
+obstinately maintained with that felonious enchanter.
+
+Oil of Aparicio was immediately fetched, and Altisidora herself, with
+her snowy hands, applied the balsam, saying in a low voice, as she bound
+up his wounds, ‘All these misadventures befal thee, hard-hearted knight,
+as a punishment for thy cruelty and disdain; and God grant thy squire
+Sancho may forget to scourge himself, that they so much beloved Dulcinea
+may never be disenchanted, nor thou enjoy her as a wedded wife; at
+least, during the life of me, by whom thou art adored.’ To all this
+apostrophe Don Quixote answered not a word; but, heaving a profound
+sigh, laid himself along in his bed, and thanked their graces for this
+instance of their concern; not that he was afraid of such a
+cattish-enchanting and bell-ringing crew, but on account of the kind
+intention they had manifested in coming to his relief. As for the duke
+and duchess, they left him to his repose, and went away extremely sorry
+for the unfortunate issue of his joke; for they did not think Don
+Quixote would have suffered so terribly by the adventure, which cost him
+five days confinement in his bed, where he was engaged in another still
+more diverting, which, however, the historian will not at present
+recount, that he may return to Sancho Panza, who proceeded in his
+administration with equal pleasantry and solicitude.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XV.
+ CONTAINING A FARTHER ACCOUNT OF SANCHO’S
+ BEHAVIOUR IN HIS GOVERNMENT.
+
+
+The history relates, that from the town-hall Sancho Panza was conducted
+to a sumptuous palace, in the great hall of which was a royal table,
+most elegantly furnished. When the governor entered, the waits struck
+up, and four pages came forth and presented him with water for his
+hands, which he received with great solemnity; then the musick ceasing,
+he took his place at the upper end of the table, which was accommodated
+with one seat only, and a cover for himself alone: while close by him
+stood a personage, who afterwards proved to be a physician, with a rod
+of whalebone in his hand. They removed a very fine white cloth that
+covered the fruit and a great variety of dishes. One who looked like a
+student, said grace; a page tucked a laced bib under Sancho’s chin, and
+another person, who acted the part of sewer, set a plate of fruit before
+the governor; but scarce had he swallowed a mouthful, when the doctor
+touching the said plate with his wand, it was snatched from him in a
+twinkling: the sewer presented him with another dish, which the governor
+resolved to prove; but, before he could finger or taste it, the plate
+being also touched by the wand, one of the pages conveyed it away with
+incredible dispatch, to the amazement of Sancho, who, looking round him,
+asked if he must be obliged to eat like a juggler, by slight of hand!
+
+To this interrogation he of the wand replied: ‘My lord governor must, in
+eating, conform to the use and customs of other islands where governors
+reside. I, my lord, enjoy a salary as physician to the governors of this
+island, and take more care of their health than of my own; studying
+night and day, and considering the governor’s constitution, that I may
+be able to cure him, in case he should be taken ill; but the principal
+part of my office is to be present at his meals, where I allow him to
+eat what I think will agree with his complexion, and restrain him from
+that which I conceive will be hurtful and prejudicial to his stomach. I
+therefore ordered the fruit to be removed, because it is dangerously
+moist; and likewise commanded the other dish to be conveyed away,
+because it is extremely hot, as containing a number of spices which
+create thirst, and copious drinking drowns and destroys the radical
+moisture, which is the essence of life.’—‘By that way of reasoning,’
+said Sancho, ‘that there dish of roasted partridges, which seems to be
+very well seasoned; will do me no harm.’ To this hint the physician
+replied: ‘Of these my lord governor shall not eat while there is breath
+in my body.’—‘And pray for what reason?’ said the governor. ‘Because our
+master Hippocrates, the north star and luminary of physic, expressly
+says, in one of his aphorisms, “_Omnis saturatio mala, perdix autem
+pessima_;” that is, All repletion is bad, but that with partridge worst
+of all.’—‘If that be the case,’ said Sancho, ‘good Mr. Doctor, pray
+examine all the messes on the table, so as to point out that which will
+do me least harm and most good, that I may eat without fear of
+conjuration; for, by the life of the governor, and as God shall prolong
+it! I am ready to die of hunger; and to deny me victuals, even though
+Signior Doctor should prescribe fasting, and say a thousand things in
+its praise, will, instead of preserving my health, deprive me of life
+entirely.’—‘Your lordship is very much in the right,’ replied the
+physician: ‘and to begin, I would not have you touch these ragoo’d
+rabbits, because they are a sharp haired food: of that veal, indeed, you
+might pick, a little, if it was not roasted _a la daube_; but as it is,
+touch it not.’—‘The dish that smokes yonder,’ said Sancho, ‘seems to be
+an _olla podrida_, and considering the variety of ingredients of which
+these _ollas_ are composed, surely I cannot fail to light on something
+that will be both savoury and wholesome.’—‘_Absit!_’ cried the
+physician, ‘far from us be such a thought. There is not a more
+pernicious nutriment upon the face of the earth: leave your _ollas_ to
+canons, rectors of colleges, and country weddings; but let them never
+appear upon the tables of governors, where elegance and neatness ought
+to reign. The reason is clear; at all times, in all places, and by all
+the learned, simple medicines are more esteemed than those that are
+compound: for in the first, no mistakes can be committed; whereas, in
+the other, numberless errors may take place, in the quantity and
+proportion of the ingredients; but what I would advise my lord governor
+to eat at present, in order to preserve and corroborate his health, is
+about a hundred confected wafers, and a few thin slices of quinces,
+which will sit easy on his stomach, and assist digestion.’
+
+Sancho, hearing this prescription, threw himself backwards in his chair,
+and surveying the physician from head to foot, asked in a grave and
+solemn tone, ‘What was his name, and where he had studied?’ To this
+question, the other replied, ‘I, my lord governor, am called Doctor
+Pedro Positive de Bodewell[188], native of a place called Snatchaway, on
+the right hand between Caraquel and Almodobar del Campo; and I took my
+doctor’s degree at the university of Ossuna.’ To this declaration Sancho
+replied, in a rage, ‘Hark ye, then, Mr. Doctor Pedro Positive de
+Bode-ill, native of Snatchaway, which is on the right hand as we go from
+Caraquel to Almodobar del Campo, graduate of Ossuna, get out of my
+presence this instant, or by the body of the sun! I will snatch up a
+cudgel, and beginning with you, employ it in such a manner as not to
+leave a physician on the whole island; of those, I mean, who are
+ignorant fellows. As for the learned, virtuous, and discreet members of
+the faculty, I will place them on my head, in token of respect, and
+honour them as things divine. But, I say again, be gone, Doctor Pedro
+Positive, or positively I will take up this chair on which I sit, and
+make immediate application to your skull; and, should I be called to
+account for it, when I resign my government, I will exculpate myself by
+proving that I have done service to God, in slaying a wicked physician,
+who was a scandal to the commonwealth. Let me have something to eat,
+therefore, or take back your government; for a post that will not afford
+victuals, is not worth a pease-cod.’
+
+The doctor was frightened at seeing the governor in such a passion, and
+was going to snatch himself away from his presence; when, at the very
+instant, their ears were saluted with the noise of a post-boy’s horn in
+the street; and the gentleman sewer going to the window, informed the
+governor that there was a courier arrived from my lord duke, with some
+dispatches of importance. Accordingly the messenger entered the hall,
+sweating, with marks of consternation in his countenance; and taking a
+packet out of his bosom, delivered it into the hands of the governor,
+who gave it to the steward, with orders to read the superscription,
+which ran thus: ‘To Don Sancho Panza, governor of the island Barataria,
+to be delivered into his own hand, or that of his secretary.’ Sancho
+hearing the direction, ‘Who is my secretary?’ said he. One of the people
+who were present, answered, ‘I am secretary, my lord; for I can read and
+write, and am a Biscayan.’—‘Nay, with that addition,’ said Sancho, ‘you
+might be secretary to the emperor himself: open this packet, and see
+what it contains.’ The new-born secretary obeyed the command; and having
+perused the contents, told his excellency, it was business for his
+private ear. Then Sancho ordered every body to quit the place, except
+the steward and gentleman sewer: accordingly the rest retired, with the
+doctor at their head: and the secretary recited the letter to this
+effect—
+
+ ‘I have received information, Signior Don Sancho Panza, that certain
+ enemies of mine and of the island, intend one of these nights, to
+ give you a furious assault; you will therefore be vigilant and
+ alert, that they may not find you unprepared. I am likewise
+ informed, by trusty spies, that four persons in disguise have
+ entered the town, with intention to take away your life, as they
+ dread the extent of your abilities: be upon your guard, therefore,
+ examine every person who comes to speak with you, and taste nothing
+ that comes in a present. I will take care to reinforce you, should
+ you stand in need of assistance; meanwhile, you will act in every
+ thing according to the good opinion I have of your understanding.
+ Your friend,
+
+ ‘THE DUKE.
+
+ ‘From my castle, August 16th,
+
+ at 4 in the morning.’
+
+This epistle overwhelmed Sancho with astonishment, which the rest
+pretended to share; and turning to the steward, ‘What is to be done,’
+said he, ‘and that immediately, is to confine Doctor Positive in a
+dungeon; for if any body has a design to take away my life, he is the
+man; aye, and by the most pitiful, and worst of all deaths; namely,
+hunger.’—‘True’ replied the gentleman sewer; ‘and, in my opinion, your
+lordship ought not to eat any of the victuals now on the table, for they
+were a present from certain nuns; and, as the saying is, The devil
+skulks behind the cross.’—‘That is a truth not to be denied,’ said
+Sancho; ‘but, in the mean time, let me have a luncheon of bread, and
+about for pounds of raisins, which cannot be poisoned: for really and
+truly, I cannot live without eating; and if we must be prepared for
+those battles with which we are threatened, at least let us be well fed;
+for the stomach supports the heart, and not the heart the stomach. You,
+secretary must write an answer to my Lord Duke; and tell him his
+commands shall be obeyed to a tittle. You shall likewise make my
+compliments to my Lady Duchess, beseeching her, in my name, to remember
+to send an express, with my letter and bundle, to my wife Teresa Panza;
+in so doing she will lay me under great obligation, and I shall take
+care to be her humble servant to the utmost of my power. By the bye, you
+may thrust in a How d’ye to my master Don Quixote de La Mancha, that he
+may see I am not of an ungrateful leaven; you may, as a faithful
+secretary, and honest Biscayan, add what you shall think proper, and
+most likely to turn out to advantage. At present, take away these
+things, and let me have something to eat; and I shall manage any spies,
+murderers, or inchanters, that may presume to attack me or my island.’
+
+Here he was interrupted by a page, who, coming into the hall, told him
+there was a countryman without, who wanted to speak with his lordship
+upon some business of the utmost importance. ‘Those people of business
+are strange fellows,’ said Sancho; ‘is it possible they are so ignorant,
+as not to see that this is not a proper hour for the transaction of
+business? Mayhap they think, we governors and judges are not made of
+flesh and blood, and therefore require no time for refreshment, any more
+than if we were created of marble. As I shall answer to God! if my
+government holds, (though I begin to perceive it will not be of long
+duration) I will sit upon the skirts of more than one of these men of
+business[189]. At present, tell that honest man to come; but, first of
+all, take care that he is not one of the spies or murderers.’—‘There is
+no occasion, my lord,’ answered the page; ‘for he seems to be a simple
+soul, and either I am very much mistaken, or he is as honest as a
+well-weighed loaf.’—‘While we are present,’ said the steward, ‘there is
+nothing to fear.’—‘Mr. Sewer,’ said Sancho, ‘now that Doctor Pedro
+Positive is not here, might not I eat something substantial, even though
+it should be nothing better than a luncheon of bread and an
+onion?’—‘This night your supper shall make amends for the defect of
+dinner, so as that your lordship shall be perfectly well pleased, and
+satisfied,’ replied the sewer. ‘God grant I may be so!’ quoth the
+governor.
+
+At that instant the countryman entered the hall, of a goodly presence,
+and indeed one might have seen that he was an honest soul, even at the
+distance of a thousand leagues. The first thing he said, was, ‘Which of
+all this company is my lord governor?’—‘Who should be governor,’ replied
+the secretary, ‘but he who sits in the chair?’—‘Then, I humble myself
+before him,’ said the peasant; who, falling on his knees, begged leave
+to kiss his lordship’s hand. This request, however, Sancho would not
+grant; but ordered him to rise and explain his business. Accordingly,
+the countryman getting up, ‘My lord,’ said he, ‘I am a husbandman
+belonging to Miguel Turra, a place about two leagues from Cividad
+Real.’—‘What! have we got another Snatchaway?’ cried Sancho: ‘proceed,
+brother; for I can tell you, that I am very well acquainted with Miguel
+Turra, which is not far from our own village.’—‘This here, then, is the
+case, my lord,’ said the countryman; ‘by the mercy of God, I was married
+in peace, and in the face of the holy Roman Catholick church; and I have
+two sons now at college, the youngest of whom is to be a batchelor, and
+the elder is intended for a licentiate. I am a widower; for my wife
+died, or rather she was killed by a wicked physician, who gave her a
+purge when she was big with child; and, had it pleased God that the
+fruit of her womb had come to light, and had been a boy, I would have
+bred him up a doctor, that he might not have envied his brothers, the
+batchelor and licentiate.’—‘So then,’ said Sancho, ‘if your wife had not
+died, or been killed, in all likelihood you should not now be a
+widower.’—‘No, my lord, by no manner of means,’ answered the countryman.
+‘Agad!’ cried Sancho, ‘we are in a thriving way! Pray, go on, brother;
+for this is an hour more proper for sleep than for business.’—‘Well,
+then,’ replied the countryman, ‘this son of mine, who is to be bred a
+batchelor, became enamoured of a young lady of the same town, called
+Clara Paralina[190], daughter of Andrew Paralino, a very wealthy yeoman;
+and this name of Paralino does not come from their pedigree, or any
+family descent; but they have acquired it, because the whole race of
+them is paralitick; and so, in order to improve the sound, they are
+called Paralino; though to say the truth, the young lady is a perfect
+oriental pearl, and when you look at her, on her right side, seems to be
+a very flower of the field; on the left, indeed, she is not quite so
+amiable, being blind of an eye, which she lost in the small-pox; and
+although the pits in her face are very large and numerous, her admirers
+say, that these are not pits, but graves, in which the hearts of her
+lovers are buried. Then she is so cleanly, that to prevent her face from
+being defiled, she carries her nose cocked up, as the saying is, so that
+it seems to be running away from her mouth; yet, for all that, she is
+extremely beautiful, for she has a very wide mouth, and if she did not
+want some ten or a dozen teeth, might pass for a very phœnix of beauty.
+Of her lips I shall say nothing; but they are so thin and delicate, that
+if it was the custom to reel lips, they might be made up into a skein;
+but as they are of a different colour from common lips, they appear
+quite miraculous; for they contain a mixture of blue, green, and orange
+tawny. My lord governor will pardon me for painting so exactly the parts
+of her who is to be my daughter, for I love her exceedingly, and like to
+dwell upon the subject.’—‘Paint what you will,’ said Sancho; ‘for my own
+part I am hugely delighted with your description, and if I had dined,
+should not desire a better desert than the picture you have
+drawn.’—‘That shall be always at your service,’ replied the countryman;
+‘and though we are not at present known to each other, the time will
+come when we shall be better acquainted. And now, my lord, if I could
+describe her genteel deportment, and tall stature, you would be struck
+with admiration; but that is an impossible task, because she is so
+doubled and bent, that her knees touch her mouth; and yet, for all that,
+one may see with half an eye, that if she could stand upright, her head
+would touch the cieling; and she would have given her hand in marriage
+to my batchelor before this time, if she could have stretched it out,
+but it happens to be shrunk and withered; though, by the long channelled
+nails, one may easily perceive the beauty of its form and texture.’
+
+‘Very well,’ said Sancho. ‘Now, brother, let us suppose you have painted
+her from head to foot; tell me what is your request, and come to the
+point, without going about the bush, through lanes and alleys with a
+parcel of scraps and circumlocutions.’—‘Well then, my lord,’ replied the
+countryman, ‘my request is, that you would give me a letter of
+recommendation to the young lady’s father, entreating him to give his
+consent to the match, as the parties are pretty equal in the gifts of
+fortune, and of nature; for, to say the truth, my Lord Governor, my son
+is possessed, and scarce a day passes, but he is three or four times
+tormented by the foul fiend; and, in consequence of having once fallen
+into the fire, his face is shrivelled up like a skin of parchment, and
+his eyes are bleared, and run woundily; but yet he has the temper of an
+angel, and if he did not beat and buffet himself, he would be a perfect
+saint.’—‘Do you want any thing else, honest friend?’ replied Sancho. ‘I
+did want something else,’ said the countryman, ‘but I dare not be so
+bold as to mention it: but, out it shall go; for, take or not take, it
+shall never rot in my belly. Why then, my lord, I wish your lordship
+would bestow three or six hundred ducats, to help to set up my
+batchelor; I mean, to furnish his house; for, the truth is, the young
+couple are to live by themselves, without being subject to the
+peevishness of us old folks.’—‘Consider if you want any thing else,’
+said Sancho, ‘and speak without bashfulness or restraint.’—‘Truly, I
+want nothing else,’ replied the countryman. Scarce had he pronounced
+these words, when, the governor starting up, and laying hold on the
+chair that was under him, exclaimed, ‘I vow to God, you Don lubberly,
+rascally rustick, if you don’t get you gone, and abscond from my
+presence this instant, I will with this chair demolish your scull, you
+knavish son of a whore, and painter for the devil himself; is this a
+time to come and demand six hundred ducats? Where the devil should I
+find them, you stinkard? or, if I had found them, why the devil should I
+give them to you, you idiotical scoundrel? What a pox have I to do with
+Miguel Turra, or any of the generation of the Paralino’s? Be gone, I
+say, or, by the life of my Lord Duke, I’ll be as good as my word; thou
+art no native of Miguel Turra, but some fiend sent from hell to torment
+me. Hark ye, miscreant, I have been governor but a day and a half, and
+you would have me already in possession of six hundred ducats!’
+
+The gentleman sewer made signs to the countryman to leave the place; and
+he accordingly quitted the hall, hanging his head, and seemingly afraid
+that the governor would execute his threats; for the rogue acted his
+part to admiration. But let us leave Sancho’s indignation to cool, and
+peace attend him in his career, while we return to Don Quixote, whom we
+left with his face bandaged up for the cure of his cattish wounds, which
+were not healed in the space of eight days; and in that time an
+adventure happened to him, which Cid Hamet promises to recount, with
+that truth and punctuality he has hitherto maintained, in recording even
+the most trivial and minute incidents of this authentick history.
+
+Footnote 188:
+
+ The Spanish name is Pedro Rezio de Aguero; which, together with Tirte
+ Afuera, the place of his nativity, I have translated into English,
+ that the humour may be better understood.
+
+Footnote 189:
+
+ The original _Ponga en pretina_, signifies, I will put in my girdle.
+
+Footnote 190:
+
+ She is in the original called Perlerina, which I have changed into
+ Paralina, in order to preserve the subsequent play on the words.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XVI.
+ OF DON QUIXOTE’S ADVENTURE WITH DONNA RODRIGUEZ, THE DUCHESS’S
+ DUENNA—AND OTHER INCIDENTS WORTHY OF ETERNAL FAME.
+
+
+Exceedingly peevish and melancholy was the sore wounded Don Quixote,
+with his face bandaged and marked; not by the hand of his Maker, but by
+the claws of a cat; and, indeed, such misfortunes are annexed to
+chivalry. Six days did he remain in his chamber, without appearing in
+publick; and during this time it was, that one night, while he lay
+watchful and awake, musing upon his disaster, and the persecution of
+Altisidora, he heard a key turning in the door of his apartment, and
+straight imagined the enamoured damsel was come to surprize his
+chastity, and tempt him to forego the fidelity he owned to his mistress
+Dulcinea del Toboso. On this supposition, he pronounced with an audible
+voice, ‘No! the greatest beauty upon earth shall never have such an
+effect as to interfere with my adoration of her, who is impressed and
+engraved in the midst of my heart, and in the depth of my bowels! No, my
+dear mistress! whether thou art transformed into a garlick-eating wench,
+or as a nymph of the golden Tagus, art weaving webs of gold and silver
+twist: whether thou art in the power of Merlin or Montesinos;
+wheresoever thou mayest be, mine thou art, and wheresoever I am, I must
+be thine.’ This ejaculation being uttered, just as the door opened, he
+stood upright in his bed, wrapped up in a quilt of yellow silk, with a
+woollen night-cap on his head, his face and whiskers being bound up; the
+first, on account of the scratches he had received, and the last, in
+order to preserve the buckle; and in this equipage, he appeared the most
+extraordinary phantom that the imagination can conceive. His eyes were
+fixed upon the door, and when he expected to see the yielding and
+afflicted Altisidora enter, he beheld a most reverend duenna, with a
+white hemmed veil, so long as to cover her from head to foot. Between
+the fingers of her left hand she held a lighted candle’s end, and with
+her right she formed a shade to keep the glare from her eyes, which were
+furnished with large spectacles; and, in this trim, she came treading
+very softly, and moving her feet with great tranquillity as she
+advanced. Don Quixote surveyed her from his post, and marking her
+silence and appearance, concluded she was some hag or sorceress, come in
+that equipage to annoy him; and, in this opinion, he began to cross
+himself with great eagerness and devotion. The apparition advancing to
+the middle of the chamber, and lifting up its eyes, perceived the knight
+busily employed in these devout precautions: if he was afraid at sight
+of her, she was no less terrified at his figure; for seeing him so tall
+and yellow, wrapped up in the quilt, and disfigured by the bandages, she
+cried aloud, ‘O Jesus! what do I see?’ and in the surprize dropped the
+candle. Finding herself now in the dark, she attempted to make her
+retreat, and treading upon her own skirts in the confusion of her fear,
+she stumbled and fell to the ground: while Don Quixote, sweating with
+terror, began to ejaculate, ‘I conjure thee, O phantom! or whatever thou
+mayest be, to tell me who thou art, and what thou would’st have. If thou
+art a perturbed spirit, let me know, and I will do all that lies in my
+power to give thee relief; for I am a catholick Christian, well-disposed
+to befriend all mankind; and, in consequence of this disposition, I
+received the order of knight-errantry, which I now profess, and the
+exercise of that profession extends even so far as to give assistance to
+souls in purgatory.’
+
+The duenna, bruised as she was with her fall; hearing herself
+exercised in this manner, guessed from her own fear the terrors of Don
+Quixote, and in a low and plaintive tone replied, ‘Signior Don
+Quixote, I am no phantom, apparition, or soul in purgatory, as your
+worship seems to suppose, but Donna Rodriguez, chief duenna to my Lady
+Duchess, and I come with one of those necessitous cases which your
+worship is wont to remedy.’—‘Pray, tell me, Signora Donna Rodriguez,’
+said Don Quixote, ‘are you come in the office of a go-between?
+because, I would have you to know, that I am altogether unfit for any
+such commerce, thanks to the peerless beauty of my own mistress
+Dulcinea del Toboso. Finally, I say unto you, Signora Donna Rodriguez,
+if you will suppress, and lay aside all amorous messages, you may go
+and light your candle, and return; and we will discourse upon any
+subject you shall think proper to introduce, saving, as I have already
+observed, all your dainty incitements.’—‘Signior,’ answered the
+duenna, ‘I carry messages for no person. Your worship is but little
+acquainted with my character. Nor am I so stricken in years as to take
+to those fooleries; for, God be praised! there is still some soul in
+my body, and my teeth, grinders and all, are still in my head, except
+a very few I have lost by the rheums that are so rife in this country
+of Arragon; but, if your worship will wait a minute, I will go and
+light my candle, and return in an instant, and then I shall recount my
+disaster to you, as the physician of all disasters upon earth.’
+
+So saying, she, without waiting for an answer, quitted the apartment,
+where the knight waited for her, in the utmost suspence and concern;
+then being assaulted by a thousand reflections upon this new adventure,
+he began to think it would be very indiscreet, even so much as to dream
+of exposing himself to the danger of breaking his fidelity to his own
+mistress. ‘Who knows,’ said he to himself, ‘but the devil, who is
+equally crafty and dextrous, intends at present to seduce me by means of
+a duenna, after having in vain attempted me with empresses, queens,
+duchesses, marquisses, and countesses? for I have often heard it
+observed by a number of people of good understanding, that he will never
+give you an high nose, if a flat nose will serve your turn, and who
+knows but this solitude, opportunity, and silence, may waken those
+desires in me, which are now asleep, and compel me at these years to
+fall, where hitherto I never so much as stumbled? In such emergencies,
+it is surely better to avoid than await the battle. And yet, I must
+certainly be deprived of my senses, to talk and think at this rate; for
+it is absolutely impossible, that a long, meagre, white veiled, and
+spectacled duenna, should move or excite a lascivious thought in the
+lewdest bosom upon earth. Is there, for example, a duenna in nature who
+has a tolerable person? Is there a duenna upon this our globe who is not
+wrinkled, loathsome, and impertinent? Avaunt, then, ye duennian tribe,
+unfit for any human entertainment! Praise be to that lady who is said to
+have had at one end of her sopha two marble duennas, with their
+spectacles and bobbin cushions in the attitude of working; and these
+statues fulfilled the dignity of the apartment, as well as if they had
+been duennas of flesh and blood.’
+
+So saying, he started from his bed, with intention to lock the door, and
+deny admittance to Signora Rodriguez; but, before he could execute his
+resolution, that lady had returned with a lighted wax taper, and seeing
+Don Quixote so near her, with his quilt, bandages, night cap, or hood,
+she was again affrighted, and retired backwards a couple of paces,
+saying, ‘Am I safe, Sir knight? for your worship’s getting out of bed is
+no great sign of virtue, methinks.’—‘Madam,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘I
+ought to ask you the same question; and I do accordingly ask, whether or
+not I am safe from assault and ravishment?’—‘Of whom, or from whom, do
+you demand that security, Sir Knight?’ said the duenna.
+
+‘Of you, and from you, and you alone,’ answered Don Quixote: ‘for I am
+not made of marble, nor you of brass; nor is it now ten o’clock in the
+forenoon, but midnight, and something more, if I am not mistaken; and we
+are here in a more close and secret apartment than in the cave in which
+the treacherous and daring Æneas enjoyed the beautiful and
+tender-hearted Dido: yet give me your hand, Madam; for I require no
+other security than my own reserve and continence, together with the
+appearance of that most reverend veil.’
+
+So saying, he kissed his right-hand; and took hold of hers, which she
+presented with the like ceremony.
+
+Here Cid Hamet, in a parenthesis, swears by Mahomet, that to have seen
+these two originals thus linked, and walking from the door to the bed,
+he would have given the best of his two jackets.
+
+At length Don Quixote slipped into bed, and Donna Rodriguez seated
+herself in a chair at some distance from it, without quitting her
+spectacles or candle; then the knight shrunk under the clothes, with
+which he covered himself in such a manner that nothing but his face
+appeared; and both parties having composed themselves, the first who
+broke silence was Don Quixote, who accosted her in these words: ‘Now,
+Madam Duenna Rodriguez, you may unrip and unload all that lies upon your
+sorrowful heart and afflicted bowels; and I shall listen to your
+grievances with chaste ears, and redress them with generous works.’—‘I
+believe as much,’ said the duenna: ‘for, from the genteel and agreeable
+presence of your worship, I could expect no other than such a christian
+reply.’
+
+‘This, then, is the case, Signior Don Quixote; although your worship now
+sees me seated in this chair, in the midst of Arragon, and in the dress
+of a contemptible and injured duenna, I was born in the Asturias of
+Oviedo, of a family which intermarried with many of the best in that
+province; but my niggardly fate, and the extravagance of my parents, who
+came to untimely want, without knowing how or wherefore, drove me to the
+court of Madrid, where, for the sake of peace, and in order to prevent
+greater misfortunes, my parents provided me with the place of
+needle-woman, in the service of a lady of quality; and, I would have
+your worship to know, that in making knitting-sheaths and plain-work, no
+person had ever the advantage of me in the whole course of my life. As
+for my parents, after they had seen me settled in this place, they
+returned to the country, and in a few years went to heaven; for they
+were exceeding good catholick Christians. Meanwhile, I was left an
+orphan, stinted to the wretched salary, and pitiful wages, commonly
+given to such servants in great families: and so, about that time, a
+squire of the house fell in love with me, though I am sure I gave him no
+occasion. He was a man already well stricken in years, with a venerable
+beard, and of a comely appearance, and besides, as good a gentleman as
+the king, for he was a mountaineer. We did not correspond so secretly
+but our intrigue came to the knowledge of my lady; who, waving all
+questions and commands, caused us to be married in peace and in the face
+of our holy mother the Roman catholick church. The fruit of this
+marriage was a daughter, who was the death of my good fortune, if any
+such I had: not that I died in child-bed; on the contrary, I was safely
+and seasonably delivered; but because, soon after that event, my poor
+husband died of a fright; and if I had now time to recount the manner, I
+know your worship would be struck with admiration.’
+
+Here she began to weep most bitterly, and thus proceeded: ‘Your worship,
+Signior Don Quixote, will pardon me for not being able to contain
+myself, for as often as I remember my unfortunate husband, mine eyes run
+over. God be my comfort! with what dignity did he ride before my lady,
+on a mighty mule as black as jet; for, at that time, they did not use
+coaches or chairs, which, they say, are now in fashion; and the ladies
+always rode behind their squires. This one circumstance, however, I
+cannot help recounting, because it demonstrates the good breeding and
+punctilio of my worthy spouse. One day, as he entered the street of St.
+Jago, in Madrid, which is but narrow, he happened to meet a judge,
+preceded by two of his officers; and my good squire no sooner beheld
+him, than he turned his mule in order to attend his worship. My lady,
+who sat behind him, said in a whisper, “Blockhead, what are you going to
+do? Don’t you know that I am here?” while the judge, out of politeness,
+stopped his horse, saying, “Pray proceed, Signior; for, it is rather my
+duty to attend my Lady Donna Casilda,” that was the name of my mistress.
+Nevertheless, my husband still persisted, with his cap in hand, in his
+resolution to attend the judge; and my lady, enraged at his obstinacy,
+pulled out a large pin, or rather, I believe, a bodkin, from her
+tweezer-case, and thrust it into his loins; so that my poor man roared
+aloud, and writhed his body in such a manner, that both he and my lady
+came to the ground. Her two lacquies ran immediately to lift her up, and
+were assisted by the judge and his officers. The whole gate of
+Guadalajara, (I mean, the idle people about it) were in an uproar: my
+lady came home a-foot; and my husband hastened to a surgeon, declaring
+he was thrust through the bowels. His great courtesy soon became
+publick, insomuch that the very children mocked him in the street; for
+which reason, and because he was a little short-sighted, my lady
+dismissed him from her service; and he took his dismission so much to
+heart, that I am positively certain it was the cause of his death. Thus
+was I left a forlorn widow, with a daughter upon my hands, who, as she
+grew up, increased in beauty, like the foam of the sea. In a word, as I
+had the character of being an excellent needle-woman, my Lady Duchess,
+who was just then married to my Lord Duke, carried me and my daughter,
+without more ado, along with her to this kingdom of Arragon; where, in
+process of time, my child improved in all manner of accomplishments; she
+sings like any sky lark, dances light as thought, cuts a caper as if she
+was mad, reads and writes like a school-master, and casts accounts like
+a miser. I say nothing of her cleanliness, for the running water is not
+more pure; and if my memory does not fail me, she is now sixteen years,
+five months, and three days, perhaps one over or under. In a word, this
+maiden of mine captivated the son of a rich farmer, who lives in a
+village not far from hence, belonging to my Lord Duke; and so, the young
+couple meeting, I know not where nor how, he, under promise of marriage,
+played the rogue with my daughter, and refuses to perform his promise;
+and although my Lord Duke is well acquainted with the affair; for you
+must know, I complained to him—not once, but divers and sundry times,
+desiring he would order the young farmer to take my daughter to wife; he
+lends a deaf ear to my complaint, and indeed will scarce give me a
+hearing, because, forsooth, the young rogue’s father is extremely rich,
+and lends him money; nay, becomes surety for him when he happens to be
+in trouble; so that he will by no manner of means give him the least
+umbrage or disgust. Now, dear Sir, my request is, that your worship
+would undertake to redress this grievance, either by entreaty or force
+of arms; for, as all the world says, your worship was born for such
+purposes, to rectify wrongs, and protect the wretched. And I beg your
+worship will consider the orphan state of my daughter, her gentility,
+her youth, and all those good qualities which I have told you she
+possesses: for in the light of Heaven, and in my own conscience, I dare
+aver, that of all the damsels belonging to my Lady Duchess, there is not
+one that comes up to the sole of her shoe: and though she whom they call
+Altisidora, is reckoned the most sprightly and good-humoured, when
+compared to my daughter, she does not come within two leagues of her;
+for, your worship must know, Signior, all is not gold that glitters.
+This same creature, Altisidora, has more forwardness than beauty, and
+more airiness than modesty; besides, she is not over and above
+wholesome; her breath has such a flavour that nobody can be near her;
+no, not for a moment; and even my Lady Duchess—but, mum for that! Walls
+have ears, as the saying is.’
+
+‘What of my Lady Duchess?’ cried Don Quixote. ‘Signora Donna Rodriguez,
+I conjure you tell me, by the life of my soul.’—‘Nay, if you conjure me
+in that manner,’ answered the duenna, ‘I cannot help telling the truth.
+Signior Don Quixote your worship has, no doubt, perceived the beauty of
+my Lady Duchess; that freshness of complexion that shines like polished
+steel, those cheeks of milk and crimson, with the sun on one side, and
+the moon on the other, and that gaiety with which she treads, or rather
+disdains the ground, seeming to diffuse health and joy wheresoever she
+walks. Well, then, your worship must know, that she may thank God, in
+the first place; and, secondly, two issues in her legs, that discharge
+the bad humours with which the doctors say she abounds.’—‘Blessed
+Virgin!’ cried the knight, ‘is it possible that my Lady Duchess should
+have occasion for such sluices? I would hardly believe the bare-footed
+friars, should they make the assertion; yet, since Donna Rodriguez avers
+it, there is no reason to doubt, but from those issues, surely nothing
+but liquid amber can flow; and, in good sooth, I am now fully convinced
+that the use of issues must be a matter of great importance to the
+preservation of health.’
+
+Scarce had Don Quixote pronounced these words, when the chamber door
+flew open, with a sudden slap, which surprized and disordered the duenna
+to such a degree, that she dropped the candle, and in a moment the
+apartment was dark as a dog’s mouth, as the saying is. Immediately, the
+poor duenna felt her throat assaulted by two hands, which pressed it so
+close that she could not speak: while another person, with incredible
+dispatch, and in great silence, turned up her petticoats, and with
+something like a flipper, began to make such application to her
+posterior parts, that she was in a most piteous taking. Although Don
+Quixote compassionated her case, he stirred not from his bed, as he did
+not know the nature of the assault, but lay snug and silent, in great
+fear that the same discipline would come round and sound to his own
+carcase. Nor was his apprehension altogether groundless; for the silent
+executioners having severely flogged the duenna, who durst not complain,
+advanced to Don Quixote; and stripping off the sheets and the quilt,
+pinched him so fast and so smartly, that he could not forbear defending
+himself by dint of fist; and the whole affair was transacted in
+wonderful silence. The battle having lasted about half an hour, the
+phantoms vanished, Donna Rodriguez adjusted her petticoats, and groaning
+over her misfortune, sneaked away, without speaking a syllable to the
+knight, who remained alone, full of pains and pinches, sorrow and
+confusion. And here we will leave him, burning with desire to knew who
+the perverse inchanter was, who had used him in such a cruel manner; but
+that secret shall be revealed in due season. Meanwhile we are summoned
+by Sancho Panza; and the excellent plan of our history obliges us to
+obey his call.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XVII.
+ OF WHAT HAPPENED TO SANCHO PANZA, IN GOING THE ROUND OF HIS ISLAND.
+
+
+We left the great governor out of humour, and enraged at the same
+painting country wag, who had received his cue from the duke’s steward
+and gentleman-sewer, sent thither on purpose to make merry at his
+expence: nevertheless, he held out toughly against the whole
+combination, Rude, and brood, and simple as he stood; and addressing
+himself to all present, and among the rest to Doctor Pedro Positive,
+who, after the duke’s letter was read, had returned to the hall, ‘Now,’
+said he, ‘I am fully convinced that judges and governors are, or ought
+to be, made of brass, so as that they may not feel the importunity of
+people of business, who expect to be heard, and dispatched, at all hours
+and at all seasons, come what will, attending only to their own affairs;
+and if the poor devil of a judge does not hear and dispatch them, either
+because it is not in his power, or it happens to be an unseasonable time
+for giving audience, then they grumble and backbite, gnaw him to the
+very bones, and even bespatter his whole generation. Ignorant man of
+business! foolish man of business! be not in such a violent hurry; wait
+for the proper season and conjuncture, and come not at meals and
+sleeping time; for judges are made of flesh and blood, and must give to
+nature that which nature requires, excepting myself, unhappy wretch that
+I am! who cannot indulge my appetite, thanks to Doctor Pedro Positive
+Snatchaway here present, who intends that I shall die of hunger, and
+affirms that such a death is good living, which I pray God may fall to
+the share of him and all of his kidney! I mean, bad physicians; as for
+the good, they deserve palms and laurel.’
+
+Every body who knew Sancho was struck with admiration at hearing him
+talk so elegantly, and could not account for his improvement any other
+way, than by supposing that posts and places of importance enlarge the
+faculties of some, while they stupefy the understanding of others.
+Finally, Doctor Pedro Positive Bodewell de Snatchaway promised to
+indulge his excellency with a plentiful supper at night, even though he
+should transgress all the aphorisms of Hippocrates. The governor rested
+satisfied with this declaration, waiting for the approach of night and
+supper with great impatience; and although time seemed to stand
+stock-still, the wished for hour at length arrived, when they treated
+him with an hachis of beef well onioned, and some calves feet not very
+fresh: nevertheless, he attacked these dishes with more relish than if
+he had been served with Milan godwits, Roman pheasants, Sorrento veal,
+partridges of Moron, or geese of Lavajos: and, in the midst of supper,
+turning towards his physician, ‘Take notice, doctor,’ said he, ‘that
+from henceforth you need not take the trouble to provide dainties and
+delicate dishes for me; they will only serve to unhinge my stomach,
+which is used to goats flesh, cow beef, and bacon, with turnips and
+onions; and, if by accident it chances to receive any of your titbits,
+it contains them with loathing, and sometimes throws them up: but,
+Master Sewer may bring me those dishes called _olla podridas_[191]; and
+the staler they are, so much the better. In one of these he may croud
+and cram all the eatables he can think of, and I will thank him for his
+pains; nay, one day or other, I shall make him amends; and let no man
+play the rogue with me: either we are or we are not; let us live and eat
+in harmony and peace; for, when God sends the morning, the light shines
+upon all. I will govern this island without favour or corruption: and
+let every body keep a good look-out, and mind his own affairs; for, I
+would have you to know, the devil’s in the dice[192]; and if you give me
+cause, you shall see wonders—yes, yes; make yourself honey, and the
+flies will bite.’
+
+‘Assuredly, my lord governor,’ said the steward, ‘your lordship hath
+said nothing but the truth; and I promise, in the name of all the
+islanders of this island, to serve your lordship with perfect love,
+benevolence, and punctuality: for, the agreeable sample of government
+which your lordship hath given in the beginning, leaves us no room to
+do, or even to conceive, any thing that shall redound to the disgust and
+detriment of your honour.’—‘I believe what you say,’ replied Sancho;
+‘and indeed they must be fools to think or act any otherwise. And I say
+again, let the maintenance of me and my Dapple be taken care of; for
+that is the main point in this business: and when the time comes, let us
+go and make the round; my intention is to clear the island from all sort
+of filth, such as vagabonds, idlers, and immoral people; for I would
+have you to know, my friends, that your idle and lazy fellows are the
+same in a commonwealth as drones in a bee-hive, that consume the honey
+which the industrious labourers have made. My resolution is to protect
+the farmers and handicrafts-men, maintain the prerogative of gentlemen,
+reward virtue; and, above all things, respect religion and the honour of
+the clergy. Tell me, my friends, what is your opinion of my plan? Does
+it smack of something? or do I thresh my skull to no purpose?’—‘My lord
+governor,’ said the steward, ‘your lordship speaks so much to the
+purpose, that I am struck with admiration, to hear a man so illiterate
+as your lordship (for I believe you do not know your letters) make so
+many observations full of sagacity, and give counsel so much above every
+thing that was expected from your lordship’s capacity, by those who sent
+us, as well as by ourselves who are come hither. Every day produces
+something new: jokes are turned into earnest, and the biters are bit.’
+
+Night being come, and the governor having supped with the good leave of
+Doctor Pedro, they prepared for going the round. Accordingly his
+excellency went forth, accompanied by the steward, notary,
+gentleman-sewer, and historiographer, whose office it was to record his
+actions; and attended by such a number of alguazils and scriveners, as
+would have formed a moderate squadron. Sancho walked in the middle with
+his rod, and a goodly sight he was to see. Having traversed a few
+streets, they heard the clashing of swords, upon which hastening to the
+place of action, they found two men fighting, who, seeing the officers
+of justice, desisted; and one of them exclaimed, ‘Help, in God’s name,
+and the king’s! What, are people suffered to be robbed in this town, and
+assaulted in the very middle of the street?’—‘Compose yourself, honest
+friend,’ said Sancho, ‘and let me know the cause of this quarrel, for I
+am governor.’ Then his adversary interposing, ‘My lord governor,’ said
+he, ‘I will tell you the whole story in a few words: Your worship must
+know, that this gentleman has been at play at that gaming-house over the
+way, where he has won above a thousand rials, and God knows how fairly;
+now, I being present, decided more than once in his favour, when the
+bett was doubtful, against the dictates of my own conscience. He took up
+his winning, and when I expected he would gratify me with a crown at
+least, for good will, as players generally make such presents to men of
+honour like me, who attend in those places, ready at all adventures to
+support unreasonable demands, and prevent disturbance, he pocketed the
+cash, and went away; I followed him out of humour, yet in the most
+courteous manner begged he would indulge me with eight rials, as he knew
+me to be a gentleman without either business or fortune; for my parents
+neither bred me up to the one, nor left me the other; and the rascal,
+who, by the bye, is as great a thief as Cacus, and as arrant a sharper
+as Andradilla, would not give me a farthing more than four rials; so
+that, my lord governor, your excellency may perceive what a shameless
+and unconscionable rogue it is: but in good faith, if your lordship had
+not come up, I would have made him disgorge his winning, and taught him
+how to trim the balance.’ When Sancho asked what the other had to say in
+his own defence, he owned that, as his adversary alledged, he had
+refused to give him more than four rials, because the plaintiff had
+often tasted of his bounty; and those who expect such gratifications,
+ought to be thankful, and take chearfully what their benefactors bestow,
+without pretending to make peremptory demands upon those who win, unless
+they know them to be cheats, and that their winning is unfairly
+acquired. He likewise observed, that there could be no surer mark of his
+honour and fair play, than his having refused to comply with the demands
+of such a rascal; for sharpers are always tributary to those lookers-on
+who know their knavery. ‘The remark is certainly just,’ said the
+steward: ‘how will your excellency please to dispose of these
+men?’—‘What must be done, is this,’ replied the governor: ‘You, Mr.
+Winner, whether you be good, bad, or indifferent, must immediately pay
+to this here slash-buckler, one hundred rials; and, besides, disburse
+thirty more for the use and behoof of the poor prisoners—and you, Sir,
+who have neither business, fortune, or employment in this island, take
+these hundred rials, and some time to-morrow banish yourself from this
+island for the space of ten years, on penalty (if you disobey the
+sentence) of compleating the term of your exile in the other world; for,
+in that case, I will hang you on a gibbet; at least, the executioner
+shall do it by my order; and let no man presume to reply, or I will
+chastise him severely.’ The one disbursed, the other received the rials;
+this quitted the island, that retired to his own lodgings; and the
+governor, who remained on the spot, said to his followers, ‘If my power
+is not very small, I will suppress those gaming-houses, which I begin to
+perceive are very prejudicial to the publick.’—‘This, at least,’ said
+the notary, ‘your excellency cannot suppress; for it is kept by a person
+of quality, who, in the course of the year, loses a great deal more than
+he gets by the cards. Against petty gaming-houses of small account,
+which are productive of most mischief, and cover more crimes, your
+lordship may exert your authority; but, in the houses of noblemen and
+gentlemen of rank, the noted sharpers dare not put their tricks in
+practice; and since the vice of gaming is become a common exercise,
+better play in houses of fashion than in any publick gaming-house, into
+which an unfortunate wretch is often seduced in the middle of the night,
+and as it were skinned alive.’—‘Mr. Notary,’ replied the governor, ‘much
+may be said on that subject.’
+
+Here he was interrupted by the arrival of a serjeant who had fast hold
+of a youth, and thus addressed himself to the governor: ‘This spark, my
+lord, was coming towards us; but no sooner had a glimpse of the officers
+of justice, than he turned his back, and began to scamper off as nimbly
+as a fallow-deer; a sure sign of his being some sort of a delinquent: I
+pursued him immediately, but should never have overtaken him, had not he
+stumbled and fallen.’—‘Young man,’ said Sancho, ‘what did you run for?’
+To this question the youth replied, ‘I ran, my lord, in order to avoid
+the tedious interrogations of justice.’—‘What business do you
+follow?’—‘I am a weaver.’—‘And what sort of stuff do you weave?’—‘Iron
+heads for lances, with your honour’s leave.’—‘What! you are a small wit,
+methinks, and set up for a joker! Very well, Sir, and where was you
+going now?’—‘To take the air, my lord.’—‘And whereabouts do you take the
+air in this island?’—‘Just where it happens to blow.’—‘Good again! your
+answers are pat; and, to be sure, you are a pretty smart young fellow:
+but, hark ye, youngster, I am the air that will blow in your poop, until
+you are safely lodged in prison.—Here, take and order him to gaol, I
+will take order that he shall sleep for one night without air.’—‘’Fore
+God!’ cried the youth, ‘your honour can no more make me sleep in gaol,
+than you can make me king.’—‘And wherefore cannot I make thee sleep in
+gaol?’ replied Sancho; ‘is it not in my power to confine and release
+thee, when and where I please!’—‘How great soever your honour’s power
+may be,’ said the young man, ‘it is not sufficient to make me sleep in
+prison.’—‘How! not sufficient?’ cried Sancho: ‘away with him, and let
+his own eyes convince him of his mistake; and lest the gaoler should
+practise his interested generosity upon him, I will fine him in two
+thousand ducats, if he suffers thee to move one step from the
+prison.’—‘All this is matter of mirth,’ answered the youth; ‘for the
+truth is, all the people upon earth shall not make me sleep in
+prison.’—‘Tell me, devil,’ said Sancho, ‘hast thou got a familiar to
+release thee, and loose the chains with which I intend thou shalt be
+fettered?’—‘Now, my lord governor,’ replied the youth with a graceful
+air, ‘let us argue the matter, and come to the point. Suppose your
+excellency should order me to be carried to gaol, to be loaded with
+chains and shackles, and thrust into a dungeon, and lay an heavy penalty
+upon the gaoler, in case he should allow me to escape; and lastly,
+suppose he should perform his duty with all imaginable care and success;
+notwithstanding all these precautions, if I have no inclination to
+sleep, and can keep myself awake all night, without closing an eye, pray
+tell me, is all your lordship’s power sufficient to make me sleep
+against my will?’—‘No, surely,’ said the secretary; ‘and the young man
+has made good his assertion.’—‘Provided always,’ said Sancho, ‘that your
+defying sleep would be merely for your own pleasure, without any
+intention to contradict mine.’—‘No, my lord,’ replied the youth; ‘I
+never dreamt of any such intention.’—‘Then, peace be with you,’ resumed
+the governor, ‘you may go and sleep at home, and God send you a sound
+sleep, for I have no design to disturb your repose: but let me advise
+you, never henceforth to crack a joke upon justice; otherwise you may
+chance to light upon some of her ministers that will crack your scull.’
+
+The youth went away, the governor continued his circuit; and he had not
+gone far, when two serjeants brought in a person they had taken, saying,
+‘My lord governor, this here person that seems to be a man, is no other
+than a woman, and that not ugly neither, in man’s cloaths.’ Here they
+held up two or three lanthorns, by the light of which they discovered
+the face of a woman, seemingly about sixteen years of age, beautiful as
+a thousand pearls, with her hair tied up in a net of green silk and
+gold. Having surveyed her from head to foot, they perceived her
+stockings were of flesh coloured silk, tied with garters of white
+taffeta, and fringes of gold embroidery; her breeches were of green
+cloth of gold; she had a loose coat of the same stuff, under which she
+wore a jacket of the finest brocade; and her shoes were white, and made
+like those used by men. She had no sword about her, but a very rich
+dagger, and upon her fingers were a great number of valuable rings: in a
+word, all who beheld the girl were struck with her appearance, though
+not one of them knew her face; and the inhabitants of the town said they
+could not conceive who she was. But those who concerted the jokes that
+were practised upon Sancho were most struck with admiration; for this
+incident and salvage was not of their contriving; and therefore they
+stood in suspence, waiting to see the issue of the adventure; while
+Sancho, confounded at the girl’s beauty, asked who she was, whither she
+was going, and what had induced her to appear in the habit of a man.
+She, fixing her eyes upon the ground, with the most engaging
+bashfulness, replied, ‘My lord, I cannot disclose, in such a publick
+company, what it concerns me so much to conceal. One circumstance I beg
+leave to communicate: I am no thief or criminal person; but an
+unfortunate young lady, compelled by jealousy to trespass upon that
+decorum which is due to my honour and reputation.’
+
+The steward hearing these words, said to Sancho, ‘My lord governor, be
+so good as to bid the people retire, that this lady may disburden her
+mind with more freedom.’ The governor accordingly laid his commands upon
+his attendants, all of whom retired, except the steward, the gentleman
+sewer, and the secretary; and the young lady, finding they were gone,
+proceeded to this effect: ‘Gentlemen, I am the daughter of Pedro Perez
+Mazorca, farmer of the wool in this town, who comes frequently to my
+father’s house.’—‘Madam,’ said the steward, ‘this will not go down. I am
+very well acquainted with Pedro Perez, and know he has neither chick nor
+child, male or female; besides, you first say he is your father, and
+then add, he frequently comes to your father’s house.’—‘That
+circumstance I likewise took notice of,’ said Sancho. ‘Well, gentlemen,’
+replied the damsel, ‘I am in such confusion, that I know not what to
+say, but the truth is, I am the daughter of Diego de Llana, whom you
+must all know.’—‘Aye, this goes better,’ answered the steward; ‘Diego de
+Llana is my acquaintance, and a gentleman of rank and fortune; I know,
+too, he has a son and daughter; though, since he was a widower, no
+person in this town can pretend to say he ever saw the face of his
+daughter, whom her father keeps so closely shut up, that the sun himself
+has no opportunity to behold her; and yet, report says she is extremely
+beautiful.’—‘True,’ said the damsel; ‘I am that very daughter, and
+whether or not fame has belyed me in point of beauty, you yourselves,
+gentlemen, may judge from your own observation.’ So saying, she began to
+weep most tenderly.
+
+The secretary perceiving her distress, said to the sewer in a whisper,
+‘Doubtless, something of consequence must have happened to this poor
+young lady, seeing a person of her quality quits her own home at such an
+hour, and in such an equipage.’—‘Certainly,’ replied the other, ‘that
+suspicion is confirmed by her tears.’ As for Sancho, he consoled her in
+the best terms he could use, and desired that she would, without fear or
+constraint, communicate what had befallen her; for they would endeavour
+to remedy her disaster with great sincerity, and by all possible means.
+‘This, then, is the case, gentlemen,’ answered the damsel: ‘my father
+has locked me up for the space of ten years, which are elapsed since my
+mother was committed to her grave: there is in the house a rich oratory
+where mass is said; and, in all that time, I have seen nothing but the
+sun in the heavens by day, and the moon and stars by night. I am utterly
+unacquainted with the streets, squares, churches, and all mankind,
+except my father, my brother, and Pedro Perez, the wool farmer, whom,
+because he comes frequently to our house, I took it in my head to call
+my father, in order to conceal the name of my real parent. I have been
+very disconsolate for many days and months, on account of this
+confinement, and his constant refusal to let me go to church; I longed
+to see the world, at least the town in which I first drew breath; and I
+did not think this desire transgressed the bounds of that decorum which
+young women of fashion ought to preserve. When I heard of bull-feasts,
+darting the javelin, and plays, I desired my brother, who is a year
+younger than myself, to describe the nature of these and many other
+things which I had not seen, and he gratified my desire to the utmost of
+his power; but his description served only to inflame my impatience to
+behold those spectacles: in a word, to cut short the account of my ruin,
+I say, I desired and intreated my brother—would to God I had never
+desired or intreated him!’
+
+And here she renewed her lamentation; when the steward interposing,
+‘Madam,’ said he, ‘be so good as to proceed, and finish the story of
+your adventure; for your own words and tears keep us all in the utmost
+suspence.’—‘I have little else to say,’ replied the damsel, ‘though a
+great many tears to shed; for such irregular desires are always, without
+fail, attended by such misfortunes.’
+
+The beauty of this damsel having made an impression on the soul of the
+gentleman sewer, he once more held up the lanthorn to take another view,
+and the tears she let fall, he took to be seed-pearl, or the dew-drops
+of the meadow; nay, his fancy even compared them to oriental pearls, and
+he ardently wished that her misfortunes might not appear so great as her
+sighs and lamentation seemed to indicate.
+
+The governor being tired of the dilatory manner in which the girl told
+her story, desired she would keep them no longer in suspence; for it was
+late, and they had a great part of their round still to perform. Then
+she, in the midst of interrupted sobbings and broken sighs, proceeded
+thus: ‘My misfortune and my disaster is nothing else than this; I begged
+my brother to disguise me in one of his suits, and carry me out to see
+the town, some night while my father should be asleep; he, importuned by
+my intreaties, complied with my request, and gave me this dress, while
+he himself put on a suit of mine, which fits him to a nicety; for he has
+not one hair upon his chin, and looks exactly like a very handsome girl.
+This night, about an hour ago, little more or less, we sallied forth
+from our own house; and conducted by our foot-boy, and our own unruly
+desire, went round the whole town; but, when we wanted to return home
+again, we perceived a great number of people coming up, and my brother
+said, “Sister, this must be the patrole; quicken your pace, put wings to
+your feet, and run after me, that they may not know who we are,
+otherwise we shall be in evil taking.” So saying, he took to his heels,
+and began—not to run, but to fly; but scarce had I followed him six
+paces, when I fell through fear, and then came the officers of justice,
+who brought me before your lordship, where, in consequence of my foolish
+and rash conduct, I find myself confounded and ashamed before so much
+company.’—‘So that after all, Madam,’ said Sancho, ‘no other mishap has
+befallen you, nor was it jealousy that brought you from your own house,
+as you alledged in the beginning of your story?’—‘Nothing else hath
+happened to me, nor did I quit my own home from jealousy, but merely
+from the desire of seeing the world, which extended no farther than a
+wish to see the streets of this town.’
+
+The truth of this assertion was confirmed by the arrival of two other
+serjeants with her brother, whom they had taken in his flight. He had no
+other cloaths but a rich petticoat, and a mantle of blue damask laced
+with gold; on his head there was no cap, or any other ornament but his
+own hair, which was so rich and ruddy, that it looked like ringlets of
+gold. The governor, steward, and sewer, taking him aside, that he might
+not be overheard by his sister, questioned him about his being disguised
+in that dress; and the youth, with equal bashfulness and disorder,
+repeated the same story which his sister had related, to the unspeakable
+satisfaction of the enamoured sewer.
+
+‘Gentlefolks,’ said the governor, ‘this is certainly a very childish
+trick, and in giving an account of your simplicity and rashness, there
+needed not all this weeping and wailing. Had you said at first, our
+names are so and so, and we fell upon this contrivance to steal out of
+our father’s house, merely to gratify our curiosity, without any other
+design, the affair would have been at an end, and you might have spared
+all this grunting and groaning.’—‘Very true,’ replied the damsel; ‘but
+your honour must know, my confusion was so great, that I was not
+mistress of my own behaviour.’—‘There is no harm done,’ replied Sancho;
+‘let us go and see you safe home to the house of your father, who
+perhaps has not missed you as yet; and henceforward be not such a baby,
+or so desirous to see the world. The maid that would keep her good name,
+stays at home as if she was lame. A hen and a housewife, whatever they
+cost, if once they go gadding will surely be lost. And she that longs to
+see, I ween, is as desirous to be seen. This is all I shall at present
+say upon the subject.’
+
+The young man thanked the governor for his intended civility in seeing
+them home; and accordingly they took the road to their father’s house,
+which was not far off. When they arrived at the gate, the brother threw
+a pebble, at a casement, and immediately a maid-servant who sat up for
+them, came down and opened the door, at which they entered, leaving all
+the company in admiration at their beauty and genteel deportment, as
+well as at their scheme of seeing the world by night, without going out
+of the town; but this they ascribed to their tender years.
+
+The sewer’s heart was transpierced by the charms of the sister, whom he
+resolved to demand in marriage of her father the very next day,
+concluding he should not meet with a denial because he was a domestick
+of the duke’s. Even Sancho was seized with a whim and inclination to
+make a match between the youth and his daughter Sanchica, and he
+actually resolved to effectuate it in due season; taking it for granted
+no man would refuse his hand to a governor’s daughter.
+
+Thus ended the round for that night, and in two days he saw the end of
+his government, which overthrew and destroyed all his designs, as will
+be seen in the sequel.
+
+Footnote 191:
+
+ _Podrida_, signifies rotten or mortified; hence the _olla podrida_ is
+ in French stiled _pot-pourri_.
+
+Footnote 192:
+
+ Literally, The devil’s in Cantiliana, which is a town of Andalusia,
+ near Seville.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XVIII.
+ WHICH DECLARES WHO WERE THE INCHANTERS AND EXECUTIONERS
+ THAT SCOURGED THE DUENNA,
+ AND PINCHED AND SCRATCHED DON QUIXOTE—
+ TOGETHER WITH THE EXPEDITION OF THE PAGE,
+ WHO CARRIED THE LETTER TO TERESA PANZA, SANCHO’S SPOUSE.
+
+
+Cid Hamet, the most punctual investigator of the most minute atoms
+belonging to this genuine history, says, that when Donna Rodriguez
+quitted her apartment to visit Don Quixote in his chamber, another
+duenna, who was her bedfellow, perceived her motions, and as all the
+individuals of that class are naturally disposed to enquire, to pry, and
+to smell into the affairs of their neighbours, she followed her so
+softly, that honest Rodriguez knew nothing at all of the matter; and
+when she saw her enter Don Quixote’s apartment, that she might conform
+to the general custom of all duennas, who are much addicted to
+tale-bearing, she, that instant, went and informed my Lady Duchess, that
+Donna Rodriguez was in the knight’s bed-chamber; the duchess
+communicated this intelligence to the duke, and asked leave to go along
+with Altisidora, and see what the duenna wanted with Don Quixote: the
+duke granted his permission, and the two, with great caution, treading
+softly, step by step, went up so close to the chamber-door, as to
+overhear every thing that was said; and the duchess hearing how
+Rodriguez divulged the secret of those healing streams[193], that flowed
+from her body, could not bear the duenna’s presumption, which was
+equally resented by Altisidora. Exasperated, therefore, and bent upon
+vengeance, they burst into the apartment, where they pinched the knight,
+and flogged the duenna, as hath been already recited; for, affronts
+levelled directly against the beauty and pride of the fair sex, waken
+the indignation of the offended party to a great degree, and inspire her
+with the desire of revenge.
+
+The duchess recounted the adventure to the duke, who was extremely
+diverted with the particulars; and her grace resolving to proceed with
+her jokes, and extract entertainment from Don Quixote, dispatched the
+page who had acted the part of Dulcinea, in the contrivance of the
+disinchantment, which, by the bye, Sancho Panza had by this time forgot,
+so much was he engrossed by the affairs of his government——the duchess,
+I say, dispatched the page to Teresa Panza, with her husband’s letter,
+and another from her grace, together with a rosary of rich coral in a
+present.
+
+The history relates, then, that the page, who was a very intelligent
+acute young fellow, extremely well disposed to contribute to the
+entertainment of his lord and lady, set out with great satisfaction for
+Sancho’s native place; but, before he entered the village, he saw a
+number of women washing linen in a brook, and of these he asked, if they
+could inform him whereabouts lived one Teresa Panza, wife of one Sancho
+Panza, squire to a certain knight, called Don Quixote de La Mancha. This
+question was no sooner pronounced, than a girl, who was washing,
+starting up, ‘That Teresa Panza,’ cried she, ‘is my mother; and that
+same Sancho my honoured father, and that knight our master.’—‘Come,
+then, young mistress,’ replied the page, ‘conduct me to your mother, for
+I bring her a letter and a present from that same father of
+yours.’—‘That I will do with all my heart, kind Sir,’ answered the girl;
+who seemed to be fourteen years of age, over or under; and, leaving the
+cloaths upon which she was at work, to one of her companions, without
+putting on her cap or her shoes, for she was barefoot, and her hair hung
+about her eyes, she ran before the page’s horse, saying, ‘Come along,
+good Sir, our house is at this end of the village, and there you will
+find my poor mother in a sorrowful taking, because she has not for many
+days heard any news of my honoured father’—‘But now,’ said the page, ‘I
+bring her such good news, that she will have reason to bless God for
+this happy day.’ In a word, what with dancing, running, and skipping,
+the wench arrived at the village; but before she entered the house, she
+called aloud at the door, ‘Come out, mother Teresa, come out; pray come
+out; here’s a gentleman who brings letters, and other good things, from
+my good father!’
+
+Teresa Panza hearing this exclamation, came forth spinning tow from a
+distaff, with a grey petticoat, so short that it seemed to have been cut
+close to the placket; a jacket of the same stuff, and an open breasted
+shift; she was not very old, though seemingly turned of forty; but
+strong, hale, nervous, and tough. Seeing her daughter, with the page on
+horseback, ‘What is the matter, child?’ said she; ‘what gentleman is
+that?’—‘The very humble servant of my Lady Donna Teresa Panza,’ replied
+the page; who, throwing himself from his horse, ran with great eagerness
+and humility, to kneel before Madam Teresa, saying, ‘Grant me permission
+to kiss your ladyship’s hand, Madam Donna Teresa, as the legitimate and
+particular consort of my Lord Don Sancho Panza, sole governor of the
+island Barataria.’—‘Nay, good Sir, forbear; do not so!’ answered Teresa;
+‘I am none of your court dames; but a poor country-woman, a ploughman’s
+daughter; and wife to a squire-errant, but no governor.’—‘Your
+ladyship,’ replied the page, ‘is the most worthy consort of the most
+superlatively worthy governor; and this letter and present is an
+incontestible proof of the truth of what I say.’ So saying, he instantly
+pulled from his pocket the lining of coral, set in gold, and tied it
+round her neck; then producing a letter, ‘This,’ said he, ‘is from my
+Lord Governor, and this other with the necklace, from my Lady Duchess
+who sent me hither.’
+
+Teresa was confounded; and her daughter no less astonished, exclaimed,
+‘I’ll be hanged if our master Don Quixote be not at the bottom of all
+this; and surely must have given my father that same government or
+countship, which he promised him so often!’—‘You are certainly in the
+right,’ answered the page; ‘for it is entirely on Signior Don Quixote’s
+account, that Signior Sancho is now governor of the island Barataria, as
+will appear in this letter.’—‘Pray, good gentleman, read it,’ said
+Teresa; ‘for though I can spin, I cannot read so much as a crumb.’—‘Nor
+I, neither,’ added Sanchica; ‘but stay a moment, I’ll go and fetch one
+that shall read it, either the curate himself, or the batchelor Sampson
+Carrasco, who will come with pleasure to hear news of my father.’—‘There
+is no occasion to fetch any person whatever,’ said the page; ‘for though
+I cannot spin, I can read; and read it I shall.’ He accordingly read
+Sancho’s letter from beginning to end; but as it hath been already
+recited, we shall not repeat it in this place. Then he rehearsed the
+other, which came from the duchess, in these words—
+
+ ‘FRIEND TERESA,
+
+ ‘The great talents, and excellent disposition of your husband
+ Sancho, induced and obliged me to beg of the duke my husband, that
+ he would confer upon him the government of one, among many islands
+ that are in his possession; and I understand he governs like any
+ jerfaulcon; a circumstance that affords great pleasure to me, and of
+ consequence to my Lord Duke; and I thank Heaven heartily, that I
+ have not been deceived in chusing him for that same government: for,
+ Madam Teresa must know, it is a very hard matter to find a good
+ governor in this world, and God make me as good a woman as Sancho is
+ a governor. I have sent you, my dear friend, a coral necklace set in
+ gold; and I wish, for your sake, it had been of oriental pearls;
+ but, He that gives, though it were but an egg, would be sorry to see
+ thee lame of a leg. The time will come when we shall be better
+ acquainted, and carry on a closer correspondence, and Heaven knows
+ what may come to pass. Commend me to your daughter Sanchica, and
+ tell her from me, to keep herself in readiness; for I mean to match
+ her very high, when perhaps she thinks least of the matter. I am
+ told your town is famous for fine large acorns; pray send me two
+ dozen, which I shall greatly esteem as coming from your hand. Write
+ me a long letter, giving an account of your health and welfare; and
+ if you should want any thing, you have nothing to do but open your
+ mouth, and it shall be measured. That God would protect you, is the
+ prayer of your-loving friend,
+
+ ‘THE DUCHESS.’
+
+‘La! now,’ cried Teresa, when she heard the contents of the letter,
+‘what a kind, and plain, and humble lady! would I might live, and die,
+and be buried among such ladies, and not your gentlewomen of this town,
+who think, forsooth, because they are gentlefolks, the wind must not
+touch them, and go to church in such finery as if they were perfect
+queens; nay, they seem to think it a disgrace to look at a poor body;
+and see here now, how this worthy lady, even though no less than a
+duchess, calls me friend, and treats me as if I were her own equal; and
+equal may she be to the highest steeple in all La Mancha. As to what
+concerns the acorns, kind Sir, I’ll send her a whole peck, so fair and
+large, that people shall come far and near to see and admire them.—For
+the present, Sanchica, we must look to the entertainment of this
+gentleman; let his horse be taken care of; fetch some eggs from the
+stable, and cut some rashers of bacon, and let us treat him like a
+prince; for the good news he has brought, and his own good countenance,
+deserves every thing at our hands. In the mean time I’ll go out, and
+give an account of our good fortune to my neighbours, especially our
+father the curate, and Master Nicholas the barber, who are, and always
+were, such friends to your father.’—‘I will do as you desire, mother,’
+answered Sanchica; ‘but remember, you shall give me one half of the
+string of coral; for I don’t take my lady duchess to be such a ninny as
+to send the whole for your use.’—‘It is all thy own, daughter,’ replied
+Teresa; ‘but thou must let me wear it a few days about my neck; for in
+faith and troth, it will rejoice my poor heart.’—‘It will be still more
+rejoiced,’ said the page, ‘when you see the bundle in that portmanteau,
+consisting of a suit of superfine cloth, which was never wore but one
+day at the hunting, by the governor, who sends it for the sole use of
+Miss Sanchica.’—‘May he live a thousand years!’ cried Sanchica, ‘as well
+as he that brings it, neither more nor less; and even two thousand, if
+there should be occasion.’
+
+Now Teresa going out with the letters, and the string about her neck,
+went along playing with her fingers upon the paper, as if it had been a
+cymbal; and casually meeting the curate and Sampson Carrasco, she began
+to caper about, saying, ‘In good faith, we have no poor kindred now; we
+have caught the governorship: aye, aye, pick me up the best gentlewoman
+of them all, ifack! I’ll look upon her as an upstart.’—‘What is the
+matter, Teresa Panza?’ said the curate; ‘What is the meaning of this
+rhapsody? and what papers are these?’—‘No rhapsody at all,’ replied
+Teresa, ‘but only these letters are from duchesses and governors, and
+these here upon my neck are true corals; the Ave Marias and Paternosters
+are of beaten gold, and I am a governess!’—‘God shield us, Teresa,’
+cried the curate, ‘as we do not understand a word of what you
+say!’—‘Seeing is believing,’ answered the good woman, putting the
+letters into his hand; which he having read, in the hearing of Sampson
+Carrasco, they looked at one another with astonishment. When the
+batchelor asked who brought those letters, Teresa desired they would go
+along with her to her house, and they would see the messenger, who was a
+comely youth, like a perfect golden pine-tree, and had brought another
+present worth twice as much. The curate taking the string of coral from
+her neck, viewed and reviewed it with great deliberation; and, being
+satisfied the beads were real fine coral, was again struck with
+admiration, and exclaimed, ‘Now, by the habit which I wear! I know not
+what to say, or what to think of these letters and presents: on one side
+I see, and even feel, the worth of these corals; and on the other, I
+read a letter from a duchess, who begs two dozen of acorns!’—‘Reconcile
+these things if you can,’ said Carrasco; ‘but now let us go and see the
+bearer of this packet, whose information will solve all these
+difficulties.’
+
+They accordingly accompanied Teresa, and found the page winnowing a
+little barley for his beast, while Sanchica was employed in cutting
+rashers to fry with the eggs, for the entertainment of their guest,
+whose appearance and equipage gave great satisfaction to the new-comers.
+After the compliments of salutation had courteously passed between them,
+Sampson intreated him to tell them news of Don Quixote, as well as of
+Sancho Panza; for although they had perused the letters of this last,
+and of my lady duchess, they were still overwhelmed with confusion, and
+could by no means comprehend the meaning of that government, especially
+of an island, seeing all, or the greatest part of the islands in the
+Mediterranean, belonged to his majesty. To this remonstrance the page
+replied, ‘That Signior Sancho Panza is a governor, there is no sort of
+doubt; but whether of an island or not, I do not pretend to decide: let
+it suffice, however, that he governs a place of above a thousand
+inhabitants; and with respect to the acorns, I can affirm, my Lady
+Duchess is of such a frank and humble disposition, that her sending for
+acorns to a countrywoman is not to be wondered at; nay, I once knew her
+send and borrow a comb of one of her neighbours; for you must know,
+gentlemen, the ladies of Arragon, although as noble, are not so
+ceremonious and superb, as the quality of Castile, but treat their
+inferiors with more frankness and familiarity.’
+
+In the midst of this conversation, Sanchica coming in with her lap full
+of eggs, addressed herself to the page, saying, ‘Pray, tell me, Signior,
+does my honoured father wear trunk-hose since he was a governor?’—‘I
+have not observed that particular,’ replied the page; ‘but certainly he
+must.’—‘My God!’ cried Sanchica, ‘how glad I should be to see my father
+with trunk hose! let me never thrive, but I have, ever since I was born,
+longed to see father in laced trunk-breeches.’—‘Laced hose!’ said the
+page; ‘Lord, Madam, if he lives, and his government should hold but two
+months, he is in a fair way of travelling with a hood to his
+riding-coat.’ The curate and batchelor could easily perceive the page
+made a jest of his entertainers; but the worth of the coral beads, and
+the hunting-suit which Sancho had sent, destroyed all their conjectures;
+for Teresa had shewn them the green garment: nor did they fail to laugh
+at the ambition of Sanchica; and their mirth was not extinguished, when
+Teresa accosting the priest, ‘Mr. Curate,’ said she, ‘do pray cast your
+eyes about a little, and see if any body be going to Madrid or Toledo,
+that I may have an opportunity to purchase a round farthing-gale, right
+and tight, fashionable and of the best sort; for truly and truly, I am
+resolved to honour my spouse’s government as much as lies in my power;
+aye, and if they vex me, I’ll go to court, and ride in my coach, like
+all the rest, and the best of them; for she who is married to a
+governor, may very well procure and maintain such a convenience.’—‘Yea,
+forsooth,’ replied Sanchica; ‘and would to God it were to-day rather
+than to-morrow, although those who saw me seated with my lady mother in
+the coach, should say, Look, at such a one, daughter of such a
+garlick-eater, how she sits and lolls in a coach, like the pope’s lady;
+but let them trudge in the dirt, so I ride in my coach, with my feet
+lifted off the ground: An ill year, and worse month, betide all the
+envious grumblers upon earth; and, So I am warm, without and within, the
+mob may laugh, and the malicious grin. Speak I to the purpose,
+mother?’—‘To the purpose! yes, to be sure, daughter; and all this good
+luck, and even more, was prophesied by my good man Sancho, and thou
+shalt see, daughter, it will not stop until I am a countess; for good
+fortune wants only a beginning, as I have often heard it observed by thy
+worthy father, who is likewise the father of proverbs; When they bring
+thee a heifer, be ready with the halter; When they give thee a
+government, seize it a-God’s name; When they bestow a countship, lay thy
+clutches upon it; and, When they throw thee some good beneficial bone,
+wag thy tail, and snap at the favour; if not, sleep on, and never answer
+to good fortune and preferment, when they knock at thy door.’—‘And what
+do I care?’ said Sanchica, ‘let them say what they will, when they see
+me exalted in all my finery, and cry, There goes Mrs. Ape, with her
+buttocks cased in crape: and all the rest of that stuff.’
+
+The curate hearing her remark, ‘I cannot believe,’ said he, ‘but that
+all the family of the Panzas are born with a bag of proverbs in their
+bowels; for I have never seen one of them, who does not scatter about
+old saws, at all times, and in all conversations.’—‘Your observation is
+very just,’ said the page; ‘for my Lord Governor Sancho utters them at
+every step; and although many of his proverbs are not much to the
+purpose, they nevertheless give great pleasure, and are much extolled by
+my lady duchess and the duke.’—‘What! and do you still, my good Sir,’
+said the batchelor, ‘affirm the truth of that government of Sancho; and
+that there is actually a duchess who sends letters and presents to his
+wife? For our parts, although we handle the presents, and have perused
+the letters, we cannot believe the evidence of our senses, and imagine
+this is one of those things which our townsman Don Quixote supposed to
+have been effected by inchantment; and therefore, I own, I have an
+inclination to touch and feel your person, that I may know whether you
+are a fantastical ambassador, or really a man of flesh and
+blood.’—‘Gentlemen,’ replied the page, ‘all that I know of the matter
+is, that I am a real ambassador; that Signior Sancho Panza is
+effectually a governor; and that my lord duke, and lady duchess, not
+only could, but actually did, invest him with that government, in which
+I hear the said Sancho Panza behaves with vast ability. Whether or not
+there is any inchantment in the case, I leave you, gentlemen, to dispute
+and decide among yourselves; that this is all I know of the matter, I
+swear by the life of my parents, who are still alive, and whom I love
+and honour with the utmost reverence of affection.’—‘What you say may be
+true,’ answered the batchelor: ‘but, _Dubitat Augustinus_.’—‘Doubt as
+much as you please,’ resumed the page: ‘what I have said is the naked
+truth, which will always swim above falshood, like oil above water; but,
+_Operibus credite & non verbis_: let one of you, gentlemen, go along
+with me, and he shall see with his eyes what he will not believe upon
+hearsay.’—‘I am for that jaunt,’ cried Sanchica: ‘good Sir, if you will
+take me up behind you, I shall be glad to go and see my father’s
+worship.’—‘The daughters of governors,’ said the page, ‘never travel
+alone; but always accompanied by coaches, and litters, and a great
+number of attendants.’—‘’Fore God,’ replied Sanchica, ‘I can travel upon
+a she-ass as well as in a coach: you won’t find me shy or
+fearful.’—‘Hold your tongue, wench,’ said Teresa: ‘you know not what you
+say. The gentleman is in the right; for, Every season has its reason.
+When it was plain Sancho, it was plain Sancha; but now, being governor,
+my Lady——I know not if what I say be to the purpose.’—‘Madam Teresa has
+said more than she is aware of,’ replied the page: ‘but, pray, let me
+have some victuals, and dispatch me immediately; for I intend to return
+this evening.’ To this remonstrance the curate answered, ‘Sir, you shall
+come and do penance with me; for Madam Teresa has more inclination than
+ability to entertain such a worthy guest.’ The page, at first, declined
+the invitation; but, at length, found it was his interest to consent;
+and the curate conducted him to his parsonage, with great pleasure, that
+he might have an opportunity to enquire at leisure about Don Quixote and
+his exploits.
+
+The batchelor offered to write answers to Teresa’s letters; but she did
+not chuse that he should intermeddle in her affairs; for she looked upon
+him as a wag. She therefore gave a roll of bread, and a couple of eggs,
+to a noviciate monk who could write; and he penned two letters, one for
+her husband, and another for the duchess, indited by Teresa’s own
+noddle, which are not the least entertaining that occur in this sublime
+history, as will be seen in the sequel.
+
+Footnote 193:
+
+ Literally, the Aranjuez of the fountains. _Fuentes_ signifies, either
+ fountains or issues; and _Aranjeuz_ is the name of a delightful
+ palace, about seven leagues from Madrid, famous for gardens and
+ fountains.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIX.
+ OF THE PROGRESS OF SANCHO PANZA’S GOVERNMENT—
+ AND OTHER SUCH DIVERTING INCIDENTS.
+
+
+At length arrived the morning that succeeded the night of the governor’s
+round, which the gentleman-sewer passed without sleep, so much were his
+thoughts engrossed by the face, the air, and beauty of the disguised
+damsel; while the steward employed the time in writing an account of
+Sancho’s conduct to his lord and lady, equally astonished at his words
+and actions, in which folly and discretion were strangely blended.
+
+At last my lord governor arose, and by direction of Doctor Pedro
+Positive, he was fain to break his fast with a little conserve, and four
+gulps of cold water, which Sancho would have gladly exchanged for a
+luncheon of bread and a bunch of grapes; but, finding himself under
+compulsion, he bore his fate with grief of soul and anxiety of stomach;
+Pedro Positive giving him to understand, that your slight and delicate
+dishes animate the genius, consequently were most proper for persons
+appointed to posts and offices of importance, in which corporal strength
+cannot avail so much as the vigour of the understanding. By this sort of
+sophistry Sancho was subjected to such severe hunger, that he in secret
+cursed the government; aye, and him who conferred it: nevertheless, in
+despight of hunger, and upon the strength of the conserve, he, that day,
+sat in judgment; and the first case that occurred, was a question put by
+a stranger, in presence of the steward and the rest of the assistants:
+‘My lord,’ said he, ‘a certain manor is divided by a large river—I beg
+your honour will be attentive; for the case is of great consequence, and
+some difficulty. I say, then, upon this river is a bridge, and at one
+end of it the gibbet, together with a sort of court-hall, in which four
+judges usually sit, to execute the law enacted by the lord of the river,
+bridge, and manor, which runs to this effect: “Whosoever shall pass over
+this bridge, must first swear whence he comes, and whither he goes: if
+he swears the truth, he shall be allowed to pass; but if he forswears
+himself, he shall die upon the gallows, without mercy or respite.”
+
+‘This law, together with the rigorous penalty, being known, numbers
+passed, and as it appeared they swore nothing but the truth, the judges
+permitted them to pass freely, and without controul. It happened,
+however, that one man’s oath being taken, he affirmed, and swore by his
+deposition, that he was going to be hanged on that gibbet, and had no
+other errand or intention. The judges having considered this oath,
+observed, if we allow the man to pass freely, he swore to a lye, and
+therefore ought to be hanged according to law; and if we order him to be
+hanged, after he hath sworn he was going to be suspended on that gibbet,
+he will have sworn the truth, and by the same law ought to be acquitted.
+I beg, therefore, to know of your honour, my lord governor, what the
+judges must do with this man: for hitherto they are doubtful and in
+suspense; and having heard of your lordship’s acute and elevated
+understanding, they have sent me to intreat your honour, in their names,
+to favour them with your opinion in a case of such doubt and intricacy.’
+To this address Sancho replied, ‘Assuredly, those judges who sent you to
+me, might have spared themselves the trouble; for I am a man that may be
+said to be rather blunt than acute: nevertheless, repeat the business so
+that I may understand it fully, and who knows but I may chance to hit
+the nail on the head.’ The interrogator having repeated his story again
+and again, Sancho said, ‘I think I can now explain the case in the
+twinkling of two balls: and this it is: A man swears he is going to be
+hanged on such a gibbet; if he actually suffers upon that gibbet, he
+swore the truth, and by the enacted law ought to be allowed freely to
+pass the bridge; but if he is not hanged, he swore false, and for that
+reason ought to suffer upon the gibbet.’
+
+‘The case is exactly as my lord governor conceives it,’ said the
+messenger: ‘and with respect to the scope, and understanding of the
+matter, there is no farther room for doubt or interrogation,’—‘I say,
+then,’ replied Sancho, ‘that part of the man which swore truth, ought to
+be allowed to pass; and that which told a lye, ought to be hanged; and
+in this manner the terms or condition of passing will be literally
+fulfilled.’
+
+‘But, my lord governor,’ replied the questioner, ‘in that case it will
+be necessary to divide the man into two parts, namely, the false and the
+true; and if he is so divided, he must certainly die: therefore, the
+intent of the law will be frustrated, whereas, there is an express
+necessity for its being accomplished.’—‘Come hither, honest friend,’
+said Sancho; ‘either I am a blockhead, or this passenger you mention has
+an equal title to be hanged, and to live and pass over the bridge; for,
+if the truth saves him on one side, his falshood condemns him equally on
+the other. Now, this being the case, as it certainly is, I think you
+must tell the gentleman who sent you hither, that as the reasons for
+condemning and for acquitting the culprit are equally balanced, they
+shall let him freely pass; for it is always more laudable to do good
+than harm; and to this opinion I would subscribe if I could write my
+name. Nor, indeed, have I spoken my own sentiment on this occasion: but
+I have recollected one, among the many precepts I received from my
+master Don Quixote, the night before I set out for the government of
+this island; he said, that when justice was doubtful, I should chuse and
+lean towards mercy; and it pleased God that I should now remember this
+maxim, which falls so pat to the present purpose.’—‘So it does,’ said
+the steward; ‘and I firmly believe, that Lycurgus himself, who gave laws
+to the Lacedemonians could not have uttered a more sagacious decision
+than that which the great Panza has pronounced. Now, let the audience
+end for this morning, and I will give orders that my lord governor shall
+dine to his heart’s content.’—‘That is my request,’ cried Sancho:
+‘nothing but fair play; give me plenty of victuals, and let them load me
+with cases and doubts, I will soon make them vanish into smoke.’
+
+The steward kept his word; for he had a scruple of conscience in
+famishing such a discreet governor; especially as he intended that night
+to conclude the farce with the last joke he had a commission to execute.
+
+Well, then, Sancho having dined that day, contrary to all the rules and
+aphorisms of Doctor Snatchaway, the cloth was no sooner removed than a
+courier entered with a letter from Don Quixote to the governor, who
+desired the secretary to read it by himself; and then, if there was
+nothing in it which required to be kept secret, to rehearse it in an
+audible voice. The secretary, in obedience to his command, having
+perused it in secret, ‘It may be very safely read aloud,’ said he; ‘what
+Signior Don Quixote writes to your lordship, deserves to be printed, and
+even displayed in golden letters. This is the purport of the letter.’
+
+ THE LETTER FROM DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA TO SANCHO PANZA, GOVERNOR
+ OF THE ISLAND BARATARIA.
+
+ ‘FRIEND SANCHO,
+
+ ‘When I expected to hear of thy negligence and impertinence, I was
+ informed of thy discretion, for which I have returned particular
+ thanks to Heaven, that can raise the poor from the dunghill, and
+ extract wisdom from the heart of the fool. I am told thou hast
+ governed like a man, and that thou art a man as if thou wert a
+ beast; such is the humility of thy deportment. Take notice, Sancho,
+ it is often convenient and necessary, for the authority of office,
+ to refill the humility of the heart; for the ornament of the person
+ invested with charges of dignity, ought to be conformable to what
+ these require, and not measured according to the will of an humble
+ disposition. Appear always well-dressed; for a maypole when
+ decorated loses its original appearance: not that I advise thee to
+ wear jewels and finery; or, as thou art a judge, to go in the habit
+ of a soldier; but to adorn thyself with that garb which thine office
+ requires, and to be always clean, and neatly dressed. In order to
+ acquire the good will of the people over whom thou art set, among
+ other things, remember two particulars; one is to be affable to
+ every body—but this I have mentioned upon another occasion; the
+ other is to procure plenty of provision; for there is nothing that
+ gives such vexation to the poor as hunger and dearth.
+
+ ‘Do not issue a great number of ordinances, but take care that those
+ which are published be good; and, above all things, see they are
+ maintained and put in execution; for those ordinances which are not
+ observed, might as well be annulled, as they serve to demonstrate
+ that the prince who had discretion and authority to enact them,
+ wanted power to enforce obedience; and those laws which only
+ intimidate, without being put in execution, resemble the King Log of
+ the frogs, which at first terrified his subjects, by whom, however,
+ at the long run, he was despised and insulted. Be thou a father to
+ the virtuous, and a stepfather to the wicked. Thou must not be
+ always rigorous, nor always gentle; but chuse the medium between
+ these two extremities, in which lies the point of discretion. Visit
+ the prisons, the slaughter-houses, and the markets; for in such
+ places the presence of the governor will be of great importance.
+ Console the prisoners with hope of being speedily dispatched. Be a
+ bug-bear to butchers, for then they will use honest weights; and a
+ terror to market-women, for the same reason. Beware of shewing
+ thyself (though thou really shouldst be so, and yet I believe thou
+ art not) a miser, a letcher, or a glutton; for thy people, and those
+ who have concerns with thee, knowing the bias of thine inclination,
+ will batter thee from that quarter, until thou art overthrown into
+ the profundity of perdition. Consider and reconsider, peruse and
+ re-peruse, the advices and instructions which I gave thee in writing
+ before thy departure for thy government; and, if thou observest the
+ contents, thou wilt find in them a precious aid, that will alleviate
+ the toils and difficulties which every moment occur to governors.
+ Write to thy noble patrons, to evince thy gratitude; for ingratitude
+ is the daughter of pride, and one of the vilest sins that can be
+ committed; and the person who is grateful to his benefactor gives
+ indication that he is also grateful to God, whose benefits are so
+ manifold and incessant. My lady duchess dispatched a messenger with
+ thy hunting-suit, and another present to thy wife Teresa, and we
+ expect her answer every moment.
+
+ ‘I have been somewhat indisposed, in consequence of a certain
+ cat-clawing adventure, which I lately atchieved with some
+ discomfiture of my nose; but that was of no consequence; for if I am
+ maltreated by one set of inchanters, I am protected by another. Let
+ me know if the steward, who is with thee, had any concern in the
+ adventure of the Countess Trifaldi, as thou once seemedst to
+ suspect; and give me an account of every thing that betides thee,
+ seeing the distance between us is so small. I think of leaving, in a
+ little time, this idle life, for which I was never designed. I am
+ like to be engaged in an affair, which, I believe, will bring me
+ into disgrace with the duke and duchess; but, although this affects
+ my mind, it shall not influence my conduct; for, in a word, I am
+ resolved to comply with the duties of my profession, rather than
+ with the dictates of their pleasure; in conformity with the old
+ saying, “_Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas._” I write this
+ sentence in Latin, because I apprehend thou hast learned that
+ language since thou wast a governor. I commit thee to the protection
+ of God, who is the fountain of all good; and am thy friend,
+
+ ‘DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA.’
+
+Sancho listened with great attention to the letter, which was applauded,
+for the good sense it contained, by all the hearers; then the governor
+rising from table, shut himself up in his apartment with the secretary,
+in order to compose an answer to his master, without loss of time. He
+desired the scribe to write what he should dictate, without the least
+addition or diminution. The secretary obeyed his command, and the answer
+was to this effect—
+
+ SANCHO PANZA’S LETTER TO DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA.
+
+ ‘The employment of my office is so severe, that I have not time to
+ scratch my head, or even to pair my nails, which I, therefore, wear
+ so long, that God must find some remedy. This I observe, dear master
+ of my soul, that your worship need not be confounded because I have
+ not hitherto given you an account of my well or ill-being in this
+ government; where, by the bye, I suffer more pinching hunger than
+ when we two used to travel through woods and desarts.
+
+ ‘My lord duke gave me notice the other day, in a letter, that
+ certain spies had entered the island, in order to murder me; but, as
+ yet, I have, discovered none, except a doctor, who has a salary in
+ the place, for killing all the governors that come hither. They call
+ him Doctor Pedro Positive, and he is a native of Snatchaway; so that
+ your worship may see by his name, what reason I have to fear I shall
+ perish by his hands. This very doctor frankly owns, that he does not
+ cure the distempers which are already formed, but only prevents
+ their formation; and the medicine he prescribes, is fasting upon
+ fasting, until the patient is clean skin and bone, as if a
+ consumption was not worse than a fever. Finally, he is killing me by
+ inches with hunger; and I find myself dying of pure vexation; for I
+ thought, in coming to this government, I should have hot meals and
+ cool liquor, and regale my body in Holland sheets, upon beds of
+ down; whereas, I am come to penance like a hermit; and as I cannot
+ even do that, I believe, at the long run, the devil will fly away
+ with me.
+
+ ‘Hitherto I have neither touched fee nor fingered bribe; nor can I
+ conceive the reason of such proceeding; for I have been told, that
+ the governors who used to come to this island, even before their
+ entrance, always received a good sum of money, either by way of
+ present or loan, from the inhabitants; a custom observed in other
+ governments as well as in this.
+
+ ‘In going the round last night, I found a very beautiful damsel in
+ man’s cloaths, and her brother in the dress of a woman: my
+ gentleman-sewer is in love with the girl, and, as he says, hath
+ fixed his fancy on her for a wife, and I have chosen the youth for
+ my son-in-law; to-day we two will communicate our thoughts to the
+ father of this young pair, who is one Diego de Llana, a gentleman,
+ and as old a Christian as one would desire.
+
+ ‘I visit the markets, according to your worship’s advice; and
+ yesterday seeing a huckster selling new nuts, I discovered that she
+ had mixed with a bushel of the new, the same quantity of old nuts
+ that were empty and rotten; upon which I gave the whole to the
+ charity boys, who know very well how to separate the good from the
+ bad, and forbade her to enter the market for fifteen days: I was
+ told I had done gallantly. What I can assure your worship is, that
+ according to the report of this town, there is not a more wicked set
+ of people than those market-women; for they are all without shame,
+ conscience, and moderation; and, indeed, I believe the report, from
+ what I have seen in other corporations.
+
+ ‘It gives me great satisfaction to hear that my lady duchess has
+ written to my wife Teresa Panza, and sent the present your worship
+ mentions; and I will endeavour to shew my gratitude in due season. I
+ beg your worship will kiss her grace’s hand, in my name, and tell
+ her I say, she has not thrown her favour into a rotten sack, as our
+ deeds shall declare. I should be sorry that your worship came to any
+ reckonings of disgust with my lord duke and lady duchess; for should
+ there be any breach between you, it is very plain the whole would
+ redound to my loss; and, considering the advice you gave me to be
+ always grateful, it would not look well in your worship to be
+ otherwise to those who have done you such favours, and treated you
+ so nobly in their castle.
+
+ ‘The story of the cat-clawing I do not understand; but do suppose it
+ must have been one of those unlucky frays in which your worship is
+ often engaged with wicked inchanters; but I shall know when we meet.
+
+ ‘I would fain present your worship with something, but I know not
+ what to send, except some clyster-pipes, which are very curiously
+ turned and mounted in this island; though, if my office holds, it
+ shall go hard but I will find something to send, either by hook or
+ crook. If my wife Teresa Panza should write to me, I beg your
+ worship will pay the postage, and forward the letter; for I am
+ extremely desirous to know the state of my family, my wife, and
+ children. And, now, the Lord deliver your worship from
+ evil-designing inchanters, and safely and peaceably quit me of this
+ government; which I very much doubt; for I believe I shall leave my
+ bones in it, so cruelly am I treated by Doctor Pedro Positive. Your
+ worship’s humble servant,
+
+ ‘SANCHO PANZA THE GOVERNOR.’
+
+The secretary having sealed this letter, dispatched it with the courier;
+and those who executed the jokes upon Sancho, laying their heads
+together, contrived a scheme for dismissing him from the administration.
+The evening his excellency spent in making some wholesome regulations
+touching the government of what he imagined to be an island. Among other
+things, he ordained that there should be no monopolizers of provisions
+in the commonwealth: that wine should be imported from all parts
+indifferently, at the pleasure of the merchant; with this addition, that
+he should declare the place from whence it came, so as that a price
+might be set upon it, according to its worth, fame, and estimation: and
+he who should be detected in dashing it with water, or falsifying its
+name, should suffer death for the offence. He moderated the price of all
+kinds of hose, and particularly that of shoes, which he looked upon as
+exorbitant; he rated the wages of servants who went at full gallop in
+the road of interest; he laid severe penalties upon those who should
+sing lewd and lascivious ballads, by night or by day; he ordered that no
+blind man should sing his miracle in couplets, without an authentick
+testimony of the truth; it appearing that the greatest part of those
+sung by blind persons, are false and feigned, to the prejudice of those
+which are true; he made and appointed an overseer of the poor, not to
+persecute, but to examine whether or not they were real objects; for
+sturdy thieves and hale drunkards often screen themselves in the shade
+of feigned lameness, and counterfeit sores. In a word, he made so many
+good regulations, that they are hitherto preserved in the place, and
+called, The Constitutions of the Great Governor Sancho Panza.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XX.
+ IN WHICH IS RECORDED THE ADVENTURE OF THE SECOND AFFLICTED,
+ OR SORROWFUL MATRON,
+ OTHERWISE CALLED DONNA RODRIGUEZ.
+
+
+Cid Hamet recounts, that Don Quixote being now cured of his scratches,
+began to think the life he led in the castle was altogether contrary to
+the order of chivalry which he professed; and therefore he determined to
+beg leave of the duke and duchess to set out for Saragossa, as the time
+of the tournament approached; for there he laid his account with winning
+the armour which is the reward of the victor. Accordingly, while he one
+day sat at table with the duke and duchess, he began to execute his
+resolution in asking leave; when behold, all of a sudden, two women, as
+it afterwards appeared, entered the dining-room, covered with mourning
+from head to foot. One of them approaching Don Quixote, prostrated
+herself before him, and with her mouth close to his feet, uttered such
+melancholy, profound, and doleful groans, as overwhelmed all the
+spectators with confusion: for, although the duke and duchess imagined
+it was some joke which the servants intended to perpetrate upon the
+knight; yet, seeing how violently the woman sighed, groaned, and wept,
+they remained doubtful and in suspense, until the compassionate Don
+Quixote raised her from the ground, and intreated her to discover
+herself, by taking away the veil that concealed her rueful face. She
+complied with his request, and shewed herself to be what nobody believed
+she was; for she displayed the individual countenance of Donna
+Rodriguez, the duenna of the house, and the other mourner was her
+daughter, who had been seduced by the rich farmer’s son. All who knew
+her were struck with admiration, and the duke and duchess more than any
+body; for, although they took her to be a fool, and a person of a soft
+disposition, they did not think her folly could have risen to such acts
+of extravagance. In fine, Donna Rodriguez addressing herself to the duke
+and duchess, ‘I hope,’ said she, ‘your excellencies will give me leave
+to communicate a little with this knight: for it is necessary I should
+confer with him, that I may be safely extricated from the dilemma in
+which I am involved by the presumption of an evil-minded clown.’
+
+The duke having assured her she was at full liberty to confer with
+Signior Don Quixote as much as she pleased, she directed her voice and
+her countenance to the knight, saying, ‘Some days are elapsed, most
+valiant knight, since I gave you an account of the wrong and treachery
+which a wicked peasant has done my dearly-beloved daughter, who is this
+unfortunate creature now standing before you; and you promised, in her
+behalf, to redress the wrong she had suffered: but now I am informed
+that you are going to depart from this castle, in quest of the happy
+adventures God shall throw in your way; and therefore I could wish that
+before you begin your career through those paths, you would defy this
+inflexible rustick, and compel him to marry my daughter, and so fulfil
+the promise he made of being her spouse, before he first yoked with her
+in the way of love; for, to think my lord duke will do me justice, is
+the same as to look for pears upon an elm, for the reason which I
+explained to your worship in private. And upon these terms, the Lord
+preserve your worship’s health, and grant us his protection.’
+
+To this address, Don Quixote, with great gravity and stateliness of
+deportment, replied, ‘Worthy duenna, moderate, or rather dry up your
+tears, and spare your sighs; for here I undertake to redress the
+grievances of your daughter: though it would have been better for her,
+had not she so easily believed the protestations of lovers, who, for the
+most part, are very ready and alert to promise, but very heavy and
+backward in the performance; nevertheless, with the good leave of my
+lord duke, I will forthwith set out in quest of this perfidious youth,
+and having found him, defy and slay him, whensoe’er and wheresoe’er he
+shall refuse to perform his promise; for the principal aim of my
+profession is, to pardon the humble, and chastize the haughty; that is,
+to succour the wretched, and destroy the cruel.’—‘Your worship,’ replied
+the duke, ‘need not give yourself the trouble to go in quest of the
+rustick who is the subject of this worthy duenna’s complaint; nor is
+there any occasion for your worship’s asking my leave to challenge him
+to single combat; I consider the challenge as already given; I undertake
+for its being conveyed to the party, and even for its acceptance; and
+promise that he shall come to answer for himself in person at this
+castle, where I will furnish both with a listed field, and observe all
+the conditions that are wont and ought to be observed in such
+encounters; for justice shall be equally done to each, according to the
+obligation that lies on all those princes who furnish lists for
+combatants within the limits of their territories.’—‘With this security,
+then, and the good leave of your grace,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘I now,
+for once, renounce my gentility, humble and adjust myself to the level
+of the delinquent, making myself equal with him, that he may be entitled
+and enabled to fight with me: I therefore, though in his absence,
+challenge and defy him, for his wickedness in seducing this poor
+creature, who was a maid, and now, through his fault, is deprived of her
+maidenhead; and he shall either perform the promise he made of being her
+lawful spouse, or die in default of the performance.’
+
+So saying, he pulled off one of his gloves, and threw it into the middle
+of the hall; this was taken up by the duke, who said he accepted the
+challenge in the name of his vassal: he likewise appointed the time at
+the distance of six days, and pitched upon the courtyard of the castle
+as the field of action: then they agreed to wear the usual arms of
+knights; namely, the lance, the shield, the plaited coat of mail, and
+all other pieces, without the least fraud, treachery, or superstition,
+to be viewed and examined by the judges of the lists.—‘But, before we
+proceed,’ said the duke, ‘it will be necessary that this good duenna,
+and this mistaken maid, should put the justice of their cause into the
+hands of Signior Don Quixote; otherwise nothing to the purpose will be
+done, nor will the challenge ever come to due execution.’
+
+‘I do put my cause into his hands,’ replied the duenna. ‘And I too,’
+cried the daughter; all in tears, and overwhelmed with shame and
+confusion. The particulars of this affair being adjusted, and the duke
+having determined with himself what was to be done in the family, the
+mourners retired, and the duchess ordered that for the future they
+should not be treated as her servants, but as ladies adventurers come to
+her house to demand justice: she therefore allotted a separate apartment
+to themselves, and they were attended as strangers, not without the
+amazement of other servants, who could not conceive what would be the
+issue of the folly and effrontery of Donna Rodriguez and her indiscreet
+and unhappy daughter.
+
+At this instant, in order to compleat the mirth of the company, and
+finish their meal with more enjoyment, who should enter the hall but the
+page who carried the letters and presents to Teresa Panza, the wife of
+Governor Sancho Panza! The duke and duchess were extremely pleased at
+his arrival, and desirous to know the particulars of his journey, about
+which he was questioned accordingly. The page answered that he could not
+describe them in publick, or in a few words; but begged their
+excellencies would be pleased to reserve the account for their private
+ear; and, in the mean time entertain themselves with these letters. So
+saying, he produced two letters, and gave them to the duchess, one
+superscribed in these words: ‘To my Lady Duchess of I know not what nor
+where.’ And the other directed, ‘To my husband Sancho Panza, governor of
+the island Barataria, whom God prosper many more years than myself.’
+
+The duchess would not toast her cake, as the saying is, until she had
+read her letter, which having opened and perused by herself, when she
+perceived it might be recited aloud for the benefit of the duke and the
+company, she rehearsed it with an audible voice, to this effect.
+
+ TERESA PANZA’S LETTER TO THE DUCHESS.
+
+ ‘I received great satisfaction, my lady, from the letter your grace
+ was pleased to write to me; for, in truth, it was what I greatly
+ desired; the string of coral is very good, and my husband’s
+ hunting-suit comes not short of it. Your ladyship’s having made my
+ spouse Sancho a governor, has given great pleasure to all our town,
+ although there are some who cannot believe it, especially the curate
+ Mr. Nicholas, the barber, and the batchelor Sampson Carrasco; but
+ that gives me no trouble; for seeing it be so, as it certainly is,
+ let people say what they will: though, if the truth must be told,
+ had not the string of coral and the hunting-suit come, I should not
+ have believed it myself; for in our town, every body takes my
+ husband for a noodle, and taken as he was, from governing an herd of
+ goats, they cannot conceive what other government he can be good
+ for. The Lord make him fit for his office, and conduct him in that
+ way which will be most for the advantage of his children!
+
+ ‘For my own part, dear lady of my soul, I am resolved, with your
+ honour’s leave, to bring this happy day home to my own house, and
+ hie me to the court, where I will loll in my coach, and burst the
+ eyes of a thousand people who envy my good fortune: I beg,
+ therefore, your excellency will tell my husband to send me money,
+ and let it be a round sum; for it is very expensive living at court,
+ where bread sells for a rial, and meat for thirty maravedis a pound;
+ and that is an unconscionable price. If he does not chuse that I
+ should go, let him give me notice in time, for my feet itch to be a
+ travelling; and my neighbours and gossips tell me, if I and my
+ daughter go to court, and appear in pomp and grandeur, my husband
+ will come to be known by me, more than I by him; because, when
+ people ask, “Who are these ladies in that coach?” one of my servants
+ will answer, “These are the wife and daughter of Sancho Panza,
+ governor of the island Barataria.” And in this manner Sancho will be
+ known, I shall be respected, and to Rome for every thing.
+
+ ‘I was vexed to the heart that this year there was no acorn harvest
+ in our town; nevertheless I send your highness about half a peck,
+ which I gathered one by one upon the mountain, and went thither on
+ purpose: I could find none larger, though I wish they were as big as
+ ostrich eggs.
+
+ ‘I hope your pomposity will not forget to write to me, and I will
+ take care to send an answer, giving an account of my own health, and
+ of every thing that may be worth mentioning from this place, where I
+ remain praying to our Lord that he will preserve your grace, without
+ forgetting me. My daughter Sanchica and my son kiss your honour’s
+ hand: and this is all at present from her who had much rather see
+ your grace, than subscribe herself, your humble servant,
+
+ ‘TERESA PANZA.’
+
+Great was the satisfaction which all the hearers received from this
+letter of Teresa Panza, though the greatest share fell to the duke and
+duchess; and her grace asked Don Quixote, whether or not he thought it
+would be proper to open the letter directed for the governor, which she
+imagined must be excellent in its kind. The knight said he would open
+it, to oblige her grace; and having done so, found the contents to this
+purpose.
+
+ TERESA PANZA’S LETTER TO HER HUSBAND SANCHO PANZA.
+
+ ‘I received thy letter, dear Sancho of my soul, and I promise and
+ swear to thee, on the faith of a catholick christian, I was within
+ two fingers breadth of running mad with joy; and take notice,
+ brother, when I heard thou wast a governor, I had like to have
+ dropped down dead with pure pleasure; for thou knowest they say,
+ sudden joy kills as well as deadly sorrow: thy daughter Sanchica
+ scattered her water about insensibly, out of mere satisfaction: thy
+ hunting-suit lay before me, the string of corals sent by my lady
+ duchess was tied round my neck, the letters were in my hand, and the
+ messenger in my presence; and yet, I imagined and believed, that all
+ I saw and handled was a dream; for who could conceive that a
+ goatherd should come to be governor of islands? Thou know’st, my
+ friend, that my mother said, One must live long to see a great deal:
+ this I mention, because I hope to see more if I live longer; for I
+ do not intend to stop, until I see thee a farmer, or collector of
+ the revenue; offices which, though they carry those who abuse them
+ to the devil, are, in short, always bringing in the penny.
+
+ ‘My lady duchess will tell thee how desirous I am of going to court:
+ consider of it, and let me know thy pleasure; for I will endeavour
+ to do thee honour there, by riding in my coach.
+
+ ‘The curate, barber, batchelor, and even the sexton, cannot believe
+ thou art a governor, and say the whole is a deception or matter of
+ inchantment, like all the affairs of thy master Don Quixote. Sampson
+ vows he will go in quest of thee, and drive this government out of
+ thy head, as well as the madness out of Don Quixote’s scull: I say
+ nothing, but laugh in my own sleeve, look at my beads, and contrive
+ how to make thy hunting-suit into a gown and petticoat for our
+ daughter. I have sent some acorns to my lady duchess, and I wish
+ they were of gold: send me some strings of pearl, if they are in
+ fashion in thy island. The news of our town are these: the widow of
+ the hill has matched her daughter with a bungling painter, who came
+ here and undertook all sorts of brush-work; the corporation employed
+ him to paint his majesty’s arms over the door of the town house; he
+ demanded two ducats for the job, and they paid him beforehand; but
+ after he had laboured eight whole days, he produced nothing, and
+ saying he could not hit upon such trifles, returned the money; and
+ yet for all that, he married with the character of a good workman;
+ true it is, he hath already laid aside the pencil, and taken up the
+ spade, and goes to the field like a gentleman. Pedro de Lobo’s son
+ has taken orders, and shaved his head, with intention to become a
+ priest; and this circumstance being known by Minguilla, niece of
+ Mingo Silvato, she is going to sue him upon promise of marriage:
+ evil tongues scruple not to say she is with child by him; but this
+ he positively denies. This year there are no olives, nor a drop of
+ vinegar in the whole town. A company of soldiers marching this way,
+ carried off three girls belonging to the village; but I will not
+ tell thee who they are, because perhaps they will return, and then
+ there will not be wanting husbands who will take them with all their
+ faults. Sanchica, by making bone-lace, clears eight maravedis a day,
+ which she keeps in a pipkin, to be a stock to her when she grows up:
+ but now, that she is a governor’s daughter, thou wilt give her a
+ portion without her working for it. The publick fountain is dried
+ up. A thunder-bolt fell upon the pillory, and there may they always
+ light! I expect an answer to this epistle, and thy resolution about
+ my going to court: and so, God preserve thee more years than I have
+ to live, or as many; for I should not chuse to leave thee behind me
+ in this world. Thy faithful spouse,
+
+ ‘TERESA PANZA.’
+
+The letters were read with admiration, esteem, laughter, and applause;
+and the entertainment was crowned by the arrival of the courier who
+brought Sancho’s epistle to Don Quixote, which, being likewise recited
+in publick, rendered the governor’s folly extremely doubtful. The
+duchess retired, in order to be informed by the page of what had
+happened to him in Sancho’s village; and he recounted the particulars at
+large, without leaving one circumstance untold: he delivered the acorns,
+together with a cheese, which Teresa vouched for excellent, and even
+preferred to those of Tronchon. This the duchess received with excessive
+pleasure, in the enjoyment of which we will leave her grace, and relate
+in what manner concluded the government of the great Sancho Panza, the
+flower and mirrour of all insulary governors.
+
+
+END OF BOOK III. PART II.
+
+
+
+
+ BOOK IV.
+
+
+ CHAP. I.
+ OF THE TOILFUL END AND CONCLUSION OF SANCHO PANZA’S GOVERNMENT.
+
+
+To think the affairs of this life will always remain in the same
+posture, is a wild supposition; on the contrary, every thing goes in a
+round; I mean, goes round. Spring succeeds winter, summer follows
+spring, autumn comes after summer, and winter comes in the rear of
+autumn; then spring resumes its verdure, and time turns round on an
+incessant wheel. The life of man alone runs lightly to its end, unlike
+the circle of time, without hope of renewal, except in another life,
+which knows no bounds. Thus moralizes Cid Hamet, the Mahometan
+philosopher; for the knowledge of the frailty and instability of the
+present life, together with the eternal duration of that which we
+expect, many, without the light of faith, by natural instinct have
+attained. But here our author makes the observation on account of the
+celerity with which Sancho’s government was finished, consumed,
+destroyed, and dissolved into smoke and vapour.
+
+This poor governor being a-bed on the seventh night of his
+administration, not crammed with bread and wine, but fatigued with
+sitting in judgment, passing sentence, and making statutes and
+regulations; and sleep, maugre and in despight of hunger, beginning to
+weigh down his eye-lids, his ears were saluted with a terrible noise of
+bells and cries, as if the whole island had been going to wreck.
+
+Sitting up in his bed, he listened attentively, in hope of comprehending
+the meaning and cause of such a mighty uproar: however, he not only
+failed in his expectation; but the noise of the cries and the bells
+being reinforced by that of an infinite number of drums and trumpets, he
+remained more terrified, confounded, and aghast, than ever. Then
+starting up, he put on his slippers, on account of the dampness of the
+ground; though without wrapping himself up in his morning-gown, or in
+any other sort of apparel; and opening the door of his apartment, saw
+above twenty persons running through the gallery, with lighted torches,
+and naked swords in their hands, exclaiming aloud, and all together,
+‘Arm, arm, my Lord Governor, arm! a vast number of the enemy has landed
+on the island; and we are lost and undone, unless protected by your
+valour and activity.’
+
+With this clamour, fury, and disturbance, they rushed towards Sancho,
+who stood astonished and perplexed at what he saw and heard, and when
+they came up to the spot, one of them accosting him, ‘Arm, my lord,’
+said he, ‘unless you want to perish, and see the whole island
+destroyed.’—‘For what should I arm?’ replied Sancho; ‘I neither know
+the use of arms, nor can I give you protection. These matters had
+better be left to my master Don Quixote; who, in the turning of a
+straw, would dispatch the whole affair, and put every thing in safety;
+but, for me, as I am a sinner to God, I understand nothing of these
+hurly-burlys!’—‘How! my Lord Governor,’ cried another, ‘what
+despondence is this? Put on your armour, Signior; here we have brought
+arms offensive and defensive; come forth to the market-place, and be
+our guide and our general, seeing of right that place belongs to you,
+as being our governor.’—‘Arm me, then, a God’s name!’ replied Sancho.
+At that instant they took two large bucklers they had brought along
+with them, and putting over his shirt (for they would not give him
+time to clothe himself) one buckler before and another behind, they
+pulled his arms through certain holes they had made in the targets,
+and fastened them well together with cords, in such a manner, that the
+poor governor remained quite inclosed, and boarded up as straight as a
+spindle, without being able to bend his knees, or move one single
+step; and in his hands they put a lance, with which he supported
+himself as he stood. Having cooped him up in this manner, they desired
+him to march out, and conduct and animate his people; in which case he
+being the north star, their lanthorn, and Lucifer, their affairs would
+be brought to a prosperous issue. ‘How should I march, unfortunate
+wight that I am,’ said Sancho, ‘when my very knee pans have not room
+to play, so much am I cramped by those boards, which are squeezed into
+my very flesh? Your only way is to take me up in your arms, and lay me
+across, or set me upright in some postern, which I will defend either
+with this lance or this carcase.’—‘Come, my Lord Governor,’ replied
+the other, ‘you are more hampered by fear than by your bucklers. Make
+haste, and exert yourself, for it grows late; the enemies swarm, the
+noise increases, and the danger is very pressing.’
+
+In consequence of this persuasion and reproach, the poor governor
+endeavoured to move, and down he came to the ground with such a fall
+that he believed himself split to pieces. There he lay like a tortoise
+covered with its shell, or a flitch of bacon between two trays; or,
+lastly, like a boat stranded with her keel uppermost. Yet his fall did
+not excite the compassion of those unlucky wags; on the contrary,
+extinguishing their torches, they renewed the clamour, and repeated the
+alarm with such hurry and confusion, trampling upon the unhappy Sancho,
+and bestowing a thousand strokes upon the bucklers, that if he had not
+gathered, and shrunk himself up, with drawing his head within the
+targets, the poor governor would have passed his time but very
+indifferently; shrunk as he was within that narrow lodging, he sweated
+all over with fear and consternation, and heartily recommended himself
+to God, that he might be delivered from the danger that encompassed him.
+Some stumbled, and others fell over him; nay, one of the party stood
+upon him for a considerable time, and thence, as from a watch-tower,
+gave orders to the army, exclaiming with a loud voice, ‘This way, my
+fellow-soldiers; for here the enemy make their chief effort! Guard this
+breach; shut that gate; down with those scaling ladders; bring up the
+fire-pots, with the kettles of melted pitch, rosin, and boiling oil;
+barricado the streets with woolpacks!’ In a word, he named with great
+eagerness, all the implements, instruments, and munition of war, used in
+the defence of a city assaulted; while the bruised and battered Sancho,
+who heard the din, and suffered grievously, said within himself, ‘O!
+would it please the Lord that the island were quickly lost, that I might
+see myself either dead or delivered from this distress!’ Heaven heard
+his petition, and when he least expected such relief, his ears were
+saluted with a number of voices, crying, ‘Victory! victory! the enemy is
+overcome! Rise, my Lord Governor, and enjoy your conquest; and divide
+the spoil taken from the foe by the valour of your invincible arm.’
+
+The afflicted Sancho, with a plaintive voice, desired them to lift him
+up; and when they helped him to rise and set him on his legs again, ‘I
+wish,’ said he, ‘the enemy I have conquered were nailed to my forehead.
+I want to divide no spoils; but I beg, and supplicate some friend, if
+any such I have, to bring me a draught of wine; and that he will wipe me
+dry of this sweat which has turned me into water.’ They accordingly
+wiped him clean, brought the wine, untied the bucklers, and seated him
+upon his bed, where he fainted away through fear, consternation, and
+fatigue. Those concerned in the joke now began to be sorry for having
+laid it on so heavy; but Sancho’s recovery moderated their uneasiness at
+his swooning. He asked what it was o’clock; and they answered it was
+day-break: then, without speaking another syllable, he began to dress
+himself, in the most profound silence; and all present gazed upon him
+with looks of expectation, impatient to know the meaning of his dressing
+himself so earnestly. At length, having put on his cloaths very
+leisurely, for his bruises would not admit of precipitation, he hied him
+to the stable, attended by all the by-standers, where, advancing to
+Dapple, he embraced him affectionately, and gave him the kiss of peace
+upon the forehead, saying, while the tears trickled from his eyes, ‘Come
+hither, my dear companion! my friend, and sharer of all my toil and
+distress; when you and I consorted together, and I was plagued with no
+other thoughts than the care of mending your furniture and pampering
+your little body, happy were my hours, my days, and my years! but since
+I quitted you, and mounted on the towers of pride and ambition, my soul
+has been invaded by a thousand miseries, a thousand toils, and four
+thousand disquiets.’
+
+While he uttered this apostrophe, he was employed in putting the
+pack-saddle on his ass, without being interrupted by any living soul;
+and Dapple being equipped for the road, he made shift to mount him, with
+great pain and difficulty: then, directing his words and discourse to
+the steward, secretary, sewer, Doctor Pedro, and many others who were
+present, ‘Make way, gentlemen,’ said he, ‘and let me return to my
+ancient liberty; let me go in quest of my former life, that I may enjoy
+a resurrection from this present death: I was not born to be a governor,
+or to defend islands and cities from the assaults of their enemies. I am
+better versed in ploughing and delving, in pruning and planting vines,
+than in enacting laws, and defending provinces and kingdoms. I know St.
+Peter is well at Rome—that is, every one does well in following the
+employment to which he was bred; a sickle becomes my hand better than a
+governor’s sceptre; and I would rather fill my belly with soup-meagre,
+than undergo the misery of an impertinent physician who starves me to
+death. I would much rather solace myself under the shade of an oak in
+summer, and clothe myself with a sheepskin jacket in the winter, being
+my own master, than indulge, under the subjection of a government, with
+holland sheets, and robes of sables—God be with you, gentlemen; and pray
+tell my lord duke, Naked I was born, and naked I remain; and if I lose
+nothing, as little I gain. That is, I would say, Pennyless I took
+possession of this government, and pennyless I resign my office; quite
+the reverse of what is usually the case with governors of other islands.
+Make way, therefore, and let me go and be plaistered; for I believe all
+my ribs are crushed, thanks to the enemies who have this night passed
+and repassed over my carcase.’
+
+‘It must not be so, my Lord Governor,’ said Doctor Positive: ‘I will
+give your worship a draught, calculated for falls and bruises, that will
+instantly restore you to your former health and vigour; and with respect
+to the article of eating, I promise your lordship to make amends, and
+let you eat abundantly of every thing you desire.’—‘Your promise comes
+too late,’ answered Sancho; ‘and I will as soon turn Turk as forbear
+going. Those are no jokes to be repeated. Before God! I will as soon
+remain in this, or accept of any other government, even though it should
+be presented in a covered dish, as I will fly to Heaven without the help
+of wings. I am of the family of the Panzas, who are all headstrong, and
+if once they say Odds, odds it must be, though in fact it be even, in
+spite of all the world. In this stable I leave the pismire’s wings, that
+carried me up into the clouds, to make me a prey to martlets and other
+birds; and now let us alight, and walk softly and securely on the
+ground; and if my feet are not adorned with pinked shoes of Cordovan
+leather, they shall not want coarse sandals of cord or rushes; Let ewe
+and wether go together; and, Nobody thrust his feet beyond the length of
+his sheet. Now, therefore, let me pass, for it grows late.’
+
+To this address the steward replied, ‘We shall freely allow your
+lordship to go, although we shall be great sufferers in losing you,
+whose ingenuity, and Christian conduct, oblige us to desire your stay;
+but it is well known that every governor is obliged, before he quits his
+government, to submit his administration to a scrutiny; and if your
+lordship will give an account of yours, during the seven days you have
+stood at the helm, you may depart in peace, and God be your
+guide.’—‘Nobody can call me to an account,’ said Sancho, ‘but such as
+are appointed by my lord duke. Now to him am I a going, and to him will
+I render it fairly and squarely; besides, there is no occasion for any
+other proof than my leaving you naked as I am, to shew that I have
+governed like an angel.’—‘’Fore God! the great Sancho is in the right,’
+cried Doctor Positive; ‘and, in my opinion, we ought to let him retire;
+for the duke will be infinitely rejoiced to see him.’
+
+All the rest assented to the proposal, and allowed him to pass; after
+having offered to bear him company, and provide him with every thing he
+should want for entertainment of his person, and the convenience of the
+journey. Sancho said he wanted nothing but a little barley for Dapple,
+and half a cheese, with half a loaf, for himself, the journey being so
+short, that he had no occasion for any better or more ample provision.
+All the company embraced him, and were in their turns embraced by the
+weeping Sancho, who left them, equally astonished at his discourse, as
+at his resolute and wise determination.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. II.
+ WHICH TREATS OF MATTERS BELONGING TO THIS HISTORY, AND NO OTHER
+ WHATSOEVER.
+
+
+The duke and duchess resolved, that the defiance which Don Quixote
+breathed against their vassal for the cause already mentioned, should be
+answered; and although the young man was in Flanders, whither he had
+fled to avoid such a mother-in-law as Donna Rodriguez, they determined
+to supply his place with a Gascon lacquey, called Tosilos, whom they
+beforehand minutely instructed how to behave on this occasion.
+
+Two days after these measures were taken, the duke told Don Quixote that
+in four days his antagonist would come and present himself in the lists,
+armed as a knight, and maintain that the damsel lyed by one half of her
+beard, and even by every hair of it, if she affirmed that he had
+promised her marriage. The knight received these tidings with great
+pleasure, flattering himself he should do something to excite the
+admiration of the whole family; and he thought himself extremely
+fortunate in having found an opportunity of shewing this noble pair how
+far the valour of his powerful arm extended. He, therefore, with great
+joy and satisfaction, waited the expiration of the four days, which,
+reckoned by his impatience, seemed equal to four hundred centuries.
+
+In the mean time, let them pass, as we have already let many other
+matters pass; and attend Sancho, who, between merry and sad, jogged
+along upon Dapple, in quest of his master, whose company he preferred to
+the government of all the islands upon earth. Well, then, he had not
+travelled far from the island of his government, (for he never dreamed
+of being certified whether what he governed was island, city, town, or
+village) when he saw coming towards him six pilgrims, with their staves,
+of that sort which begs charity by singing. So soon, therefore, as they
+approached him, they made a lane; and, raising their voices together,
+began to sing in their language, though Sancho understood nothing of
+what they said, except the word Charity, which they distinctly
+pronounced; so that he immediately conceived the meaning of their
+outlandish song. Now, he being, according to the asseveration of Cid
+Hamet, extremely charitable, took out of his bags and gave them the
+bread and cheese with which he had been furnished, making them
+understand by signs, that he had nothing else to give. They received his
+benefaction chearfully, pronouncing, however, the word, ‘_Guelte_,
+_Guelte_;’ to which Sancho answering—‘I really do not understand what
+you want, good people:’ one of them took a purse from his bosom, and
+held it up, giving him to understand they wanted money. Then Sancho
+clapping his thumb to his throat, and displaying the back of his hand,
+signified that he had not so much as the corner of a rial, and spurred
+up Dapple, in order to make his way through the midst of them. As he
+passed, one of them having considered him very attentively, laid hold on
+Dapple’s halter, and clasping him round the middle, exclaimed aloud, in
+very good Castilian—‘The Lord protect me! what is this I see? Is it
+possible that I actually held in my arms my dear friend, and good
+neighbour, Sancho Panza? Yes, doubtless; for I am neither asleep nor
+drunk.’
+
+Sancho was astonished to hear his own name, and see himself embraced by
+a pilgrim, and a stranger, whom, though he silently gazed upon him with
+the utmost attention, he could by no means recollect. The pilgrim
+perceiving his surprize—‘Is it possible, brother Sancho Panza,’ said he,
+‘that thou dost not know thy neighbour Ricote, the Moresco shopkeeper,
+that lived in your town?’ Then Sancho, reviewing him with greater
+attention, began to recal his features; and at length, perfectly
+recognizing the Moor, he, without alighting, threw his arms about his
+neck, saying—‘Who the devil could know thee, Ricote, in that disguise?
+Tell me who has pilgrimized thee; and wherefore hast thou dared to
+return to Spain, where, if thou art found and known, thou wilt suffer
+for thy rashness?’—‘If thou wilt not discover me, Sancho, I am secure,’
+replied the pilgrim; ‘for in this disguise, nobody will know me. Let us
+quit the high-road, and remove to yon poplar grove, where my companions
+intend to take some refreshment and repose; there thou shalt partake
+with them, for they are a very good sort of people; and there I shall
+have leisure to recount every thing that has befallen me since I
+departed from our town, in obedience to his majesty’s proclamation,
+which so severely threatened the unfortunate people of my nation; as, no
+doubt, thou hast heard.’
+
+Sancho assented to his proposal; and Ricote having spoke to the other
+pilgrims, they betook themselves to the tuft of poplars, at a good
+distance from the high-road. There they threw down their staves, laid
+aside their rochets or mantles, so as to remain in their doublets; and
+all of them appeared to be young men of genteel persons, except Ricote,
+who was already advanced in years. Each had a wallet, in all appearance
+well provided; at least, with incentives which provoked thirst, at the
+distance of two leagues. They stretched themselves upon the ground, and
+using the grass as a table-cloth, spread upon it bread, salt, knives,
+nuts, crusts of cheese, and some clean bones of bacon, which, though
+they could not be eaten, were in a condition to be sucked with pleasure.
+They likewise produced a black dish, which they called caviere, made of
+the roes of fishes, a great awakener of drought; nor did they want
+olives, which, though dry and without pickles, were very savoury and
+delicate; but what made the best figure in the field of this banquet,
+was a bottle of wine which every pilgrim drew forth from his wallet, not
+excepting honest Ricote, who, being transformed from a Moor into a
+German or Teutonian, pulled out his bottle also, which in size might
+have vied with all the other five. They began to eat with infinite
+relish, and great deliberation, smacking their lips at every mouthful
+which they took with the point of a knife, though they are but little;
+then, all at once, the whole squadron together raised their arms and
+bottles aloft, and joining mouth to mouth, with their eyes fixed on the
+firmament, they seemed to take aim at heaven. In this manner, shaking
+their heads from side to side, in token of the satisfaction they
+received, they continued a good while in the act of transfusing the
+contents of the bottles into their own bellies.
+
+Sancho beheld this scene, with every part of which he was perfectly well
+pleased; and, in compliance with the proverb which he very well knew,
+importing, ‘When thou art at Rome, follow the fashion of Rome,’ he
+begged an embrace of Ricote’s bottle, and took his aim like the rest;
+nor was his satisfaction inferior to theirs. Four times did their
+bottles admit of elevation; but the fifth was to no purpose: for, by
+that time, they were as clean and as dry as a rush; a circumstance that
+threw a damp upon the mirth which had hitherto prevailed. From time to
+time each pilgrim, in his turn, shook hands with Sancho,
+saying—‘Spaniard or German, all one, goot companion.’ To which
+compliment Sancho replied—‘Goot companion, by the Lord!’ bursting out
+into a fit of laughter which lasted a whole hour, without remembering at
+that time the least circumstance of what had happened to him in his
+government; for over the times and seasons of eating and drinking, care
+seldom holds jurisdiction. Finally, the conclusion of the wine was the
+beginning of sleep, which overwhelmed the whole company, and stretched
+them along upon the table and cloth they had been using. Ricote and
+Sancho were the only two who remained awake, in consequence of having
+eaten more, and drank less, than their fellows: then Ricote taking
+Sancho aside, they sat down at the root of a beech, leaving the pilgrims
+buried in an agreeable slumber; and without stumbling in the least upon
+his Moresco language, he spoke in pure Castilian to this effect.
+
+‘Well thou knowest, O Sancho Panza, my neighbour and friend, how the
+edict and proclamation which his majesty published against those of my
+religion, overwhelmed us all with terror and consternation; at least,
+they terrified me to such a degree, that long before the time allotted
+to us for our removal from Spain, I thought the rigour of the penalty
+was already executed against me and my children. I therefore resolved,
+and, I think, wisely, like the man who knowing he must quit the house he
+lives in, at such a time, provides himself with another to which he may
+remove—I resolved, I say, to retire by myself, without my family, and go
+in quest of some place to which I might carry it commodiously, without
+that hurry and confusion which attended the departure of my neighbours;
+for I was very well convinced, and so were all our elders, that those
+edicts were not only threats, as some people said, but real laws, that
+would certainly be put in execution at the appointed time: and this
+truth I was compelled to believe, by knowing the base and mad designs
+which our people harboured; such designs that, I verily think, his
+majesty was divinely inspired to execute such a gallant resolution. Not
+that we were all guilty; for some among us were firm and staunch
+Christians: but they were so few in number, that they could not oppose
+the schemes of those who were otherwise; and it was dangerous to nurse a
+serpent in one’s bosom, by allowing the enemy to live within the house.
+In a word, we were justly chastised by the sentence of banishment, mild
+and gentle in the opinion of some, but to us the most terrible that
+could be pronounced. In what country soever we are, we lament our exile
+from Spain: for, in fine, here we were born; this is our native country;
+in no clime do we find a reception suitable to our misfortunes; nay, in
+Barbary, and all the other parts of Africk, where we expected to be
+received, cherished, and entertained, we have been most injured and
+maltreated; we knew not our happiness until we lost it; and so intense
+is the longing desire which almost all of us have to return to Spain,
+that the greatest part of those, and they are many, who understand the
+language like me, return to this kingdom, leaving their wives and
+children, unprotected abroad, such is their affection for this their
+native soil; and now, I know, by experience, the truth of the common
+saying, Sweet is the love of native land.
+
+‘Leaving our town, as I have already said, I repaired to France; and,
+though there we met with a civil reception, I was desirous of seeing
+other countries. I, therefore, travelled into Italy, from whence I
+passed into Germany, where people seemed to live with more freedom: the
+natives do not pry with curious eyes into one another’s concerns; every
+one lives according to his own humour; for in most parts of the empire
+there is liberty of conscience. I left a house which I hired in a
+village near Augsburg, and joined these pilgrims, a great number of whom
+are wont to come hither yearly, on pretence of visiting the sanctuaries
+of Spain, which are their Indies, as being productive of well known
+advantage, and most certain gain. They traverse the whole country; and
+there is not a village from which they are not dismissed with a belly
+full of meat and drink, as the saying is, and a rial at least, in money;
+so that at the end of their peregrination, they are above a hundred
+crowns in pocket, which, being changed into gold, they conceal in the
+hollow of their staves, or in the patches of their cloaks; or task their
+industry in such a manner as to carry off their purchase to their own
+country, in spite of the guards at the passes and gates, where they are
+examined and registered.
+
+‘My present intention, Sancho, is to carry off the money I have buried,
+which being without the town, I can retrieve without danger; then I
+shall write, or take a passage from Valencia, to my wife and daughter,
+who, I know, are at Algiers, in order to contrive a method for
+transporting them to some port of France, from whence I will conduct
+them to Germany, where we will bear with resignation the will of Heaven:
+for, in fine, Sancho, I am positively certain that my daughter Ricota,
+and my wife Francisca Ricote, are real Catholick Christians; and, though
+I myself am not entirely of that way of thinking, I have more of the
+Christian than the Mussulman; and I incessantly pray to God to open the
+eyes of my understanding, that I may know how to serve him in the right
+way. But what excites my wonder, and baffles my penetration, is the
+conduct of my wife and daughter; who have chosen to retire into Barbary,
+rather than to France, where they might have lived as Christians.’
+
+To this observation Sancho replied—‘Why, look ye, Ricote, they were not,
+I suppose, at liberty to chuse for themselves, inasmuch as they were
+carried off by your wife’s brother, John Tiopieyo, who, being a rank
+Moor, would naturally go to the place where he himself intended to make
+his abode: and, I can tell you, moreover, I believe it will be in vain
+for you to go in search of what you left under ground; for we are
+informed that thy wife and brother-in-law were stripped of a number of
+pears, and a great deal of money, which was carried off to be
+registered.’—‘That may be very true,’ said Ricote: ‘but I am certain,
+Sancho, they have not touched my hoard; for I would not tell them where
+it was hid, because I dreaded some misfortune: and, therefore, Sancho,
+if thou wilt come along with me, and assist me in taking up and
+concealing it, I will gratify thee with two hundred crowns, to relieve
+thy necessities, which thou art sensible I know to be manifold.’—‘I
+would comply with thy proposal,’ answered Sancho; ‘but I am not at all
+covetous; were I that way inclined, I this morning quitted an employment
+by which I might have been enabled to build the walls of my house of
+beaten gold, and in less than six months, eat out of plate: for this
+reason, therefore, and because I should think myself guilty of treason
+to my king, in favouring his enemies, I will not go along with thee,
+even though in lieu of promising me two hundred, thou shouldst here lay
+down four hundred crowns upon the nail.’—‘And, pray, what office is this
+that thou halt quitted?’ said Ricote. ‘I have quitted the government of
+an island,’ replied Sancho: ‘aye, and such a one as, in good faith, you
+will not find its fellow in three bow-shots.’—‘And whereabouts is this
+island?’ resumed the other. ‘Whereabouts!’ cried Panza: ‘about two
+leagues from hence, and it is called the Island Barataria.’—‘Spare me,
+spare me, good Sancho,’ said Ricote: ‘islands are far at sea; there are
+none upon the continent.’—‘How, none!’ replied Sancho: ‘I tell thee,
+friend Ricote, I left it but this mornings and yesterday governed in it
+at my pleasure, like a perfect sagittary; but, for all that, I resigned
+my place; for I found the office of governors is very troublesome and
+dangerous.’—‘And what hast thou got by this government?’ said Ricote. ‘I
+have got sense enough to know that I am fit for governing nothing but a
+flock of sheep,’ answered Sancho: ‘and that the wealth acquired in such
+governments is got at the expence of ease, sleep, and even sustenance;
+for in islands the governors must eat very little, especially if they
+have physicians to watch over their health.’—‘I really do not understand
+thee, Sancho,’ said Ricote: ‘but every thing thou hast spoke, to me
+seems mere madness; for who would give thee islands to govern, when
+there is plenty of men in the world so much more capable of governing
+than thou? Keep thy own counsel, Sancho, and recollect thy judgment, and
+consider whether or not thou wilt accompany me, as I proposed, to assist
+me in conveying the treasure I have hid; for the sum is really so great,
+it may well be called a treasure, and I will give thee wherewithal to
+live, as I have already promised.’—‘I have already told thee, Ricote,
+that I will not,’ answered Sancho: ‘be satisfied that by me thou shalt
+not be discovered; continue thy journey in happy hour, and let me
+proceed in mine: for, well I know, What’s honestly earned may be easily
+lost, but ill-got wealth is ever at the owner’s cost.’—‘Well, I will not
+farther importune thee,’ said Ricote: ‘but, pray tell me, Sancho, wast
+thou in our village when my wife and daughter departed with my
+brother-in-law?’—‘Yes, I was,’ replied Sancho: ‘and I can tell thee, thy
+daughter appeared so beautiful, that all the people in town went forth
+to see her, and every body owned she was the fairest creature under the
+sun; she went along weeping, and embraced all her friends and
+acquaintance; and begged of all that came to see her, that they would
+recommend her to God, and our Lady his blessed mother. Indeed, her
+behaviour was so moving, that I myself, who am no blubberer, could not
+help shedding tears; and, in good sooth, many persons were very desirous
+of going after, and carrying her off, in order to conceal her; but they
+were diverted from that design, by the fear of acting contrary to the
+king’s proclamation. He that shewed himself the most passionately fond
+of her, was Don Pedro Gregorio, the young rich heir, who, thou knowest,
+was said to be in love with her. After her departure, he never more
+appeared in our town, and every body believed he went away in order to
+carry her off; but hitherto we have had no account of his motions.’—‘I
+had always a suspicion,’ said Ricote, ‘that the young gentleman was
+enamoured of my daughter; but, as I confided in the virtue of Ricota,
+his passion gave me no disturbance; for thou must have heard, Sancho,
+that the Moorish women seldom or never engage in amorous intercourse
+with old Christians; and my daughter, whose inclination, I believe,
+leaned more to Christianity than to love, paid no attention to the
+importunities of that young heir.’—‘God grant it may be so,’ replied
+Sancho; ‘for it would have been to the prejudice of both: and now let me
+depart in peace, friend Ricote; for, this night, I intend to be with my
+master Don Quixote.’—‘God be thy guide, brother Sancho,’ said the Moor:
+‘I see my companions are stirring, and it is time for us to make the
+best of our way.’
+
+Then the two having embraced one another, Sancho mounted Dapple, Ricote
+supported himself with his staff, and in this manner they parted
+different ways.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. III.
+ OF CERTAIN ACCIDENTS THAT BEFEL SANCHO UPON THE ROAD—AND OTHER
+ CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH TO KNOW YOU NEED ONLY LOOK FORWARD.
+
+
+Sancho was so long detained by Ricote, that he could not reach the
+duke’s castle that day, though he was within half a league of it, and
+there overtaken by the night, which was dark and close; but it being the
+summer season, he was not much concerned, and retired a little from the
+high-road with intention to wait patiently for morning. It was, however,
+the pleasure of his niggard and unhappy fortune, that in seeking a place
+proper for his accommodation, he and Dapple tumbled into a deep and very
+dark pit, among a number of old buildings. In falling, he recommended
+himself to God, with all his heart, in the firm persuasion that he would
+not stop until he reached the bottom of the profound abyss: but this
+apprehension was happily disappointed; for Dapple having descended
+little more than three fathoms, touched the ground, and his rider found
+himself on his beast’s back, without having sustained the least hurt of
+damage. He felt his body all over, and held in his breath to know
+whether he was sound or perforated in any part; and when he found
+himself safe, whole, and in Catholick health, he did not fail to thank
+our Lord God for his protection, as he actually thought he had been
+shattered into a thousand pieces. He likewise felt about the sides of
+the pit, to know if there was any possibility of being extricated
+without assistance; but he found them all smooth and perpendicular,
+without any projection or cranny of which he could take the least
+advantage; a circumstance that greatly increased his chagrin, especially
+when he heard Dapple complain in a most pathetick and lamentable tone;
+and, indeed, it was no great wonder, nor did he lament out of
+wantonness, for in truth he was in a very sorry condition.
+
+It was then that Sancho Panza exclaimed—‘Alack, and a-well-a-day! how
+unexpected are the accidents which, at every turn, befal those who live
+in this miserable world! Who could foretel, that he who yesterday saw
+himself enthroned as governor of an island, giving orders to his
+servants and vassals, should to-day be buried in a dungeon, without a
+soul to remedy his misfortune, or a servant or vassal to hasten to his
+relief? Here I and my poor beast must perish by hunger, if we do not
+give up the ghost before that period; he, in consequence of being
+battered and bruised, and I, from pure sorrow and vexation. At least, I
+shall not be so lucky as my master Don Quixote de La Mancha; who, when
+he descended, and sunk into the cave of that same enchanted Montesinos,
+was better entertained than he could have been in his own house; so that
+the cloth seemed to be laid, and the bed fairly made. There he enjoyed
+beautiful and agreeable visions; but here, I believe, I shall see
+nothing but toads and serpents. Unfortunate wretch that I am! to what a
+pass am I brought by my fantasies and folly! From this cavern (when
+Heaven shall be pleased to discover them) my bones, together with those
+of my honest friend Dapple, will be taken up smooth, and white, and bare
+as an atomy; and, from this particular, perhaps, it will be discovered
+who we are, especially by those who know that Sancho Panza never parted
+from his ass, nor his ass from Sancho Panza. I say again, miserable
+creatures that we are! why would not our niggard fortune allow us to die
+at home, in our own country, in the midst of our friends? where, though
+our misfortune would admit of no remedy, we should not have wanted
+relations to grieve at our fate, and close our eyes in the last hour of
+our trial!
+
+‘O my dear companion, and my friend! how ill have I rewarded thy good
+services! Forgive me, honest Dapple, and entreat fortune, in the best
+terms thou canst use, to deliver us from this vexatious misery in which
+we are equally involved; in which case, I promise to put a crown of
+laurel upon thy head, so as that thou shalt look like a poet-laureat;
+and, withal, to give thee double allowance of provender.’ In this manner
+did Sancho Panza pour forth his lamentation, to which the poor beast
+listened without answering one word; such was the danger and distress to
+which the poor animal found himself exposed.
+
+At length, after they had passed the whole night in miserable complaints
+and lamentations, day broke; and by the light and splendor of the
+morning, Sancho perceived, that of all impossibilities it was the most
+impossible to free himself from that pit without assistance; so that he
+began to lament afresh, and roar aloud, in hope that somebody might hear
+his voice: but all his cries were uttered to the desart; for in all that
+neighbourhood there was not a soul by whom he could be heard; and
+therefore he gave himself up for lost. As Dapple lay with his mouth
+uppermost, Sancho Panza exerted himself in such a manner as to raise his
+friend upon his legs, which, by the bye, could scarce bear his weight;
+and, taking a piece of bread out of his wallet, which had likewise
+suffered the same unfortunate fall, gave it to the poor beast, who
+received it very thankfully; and Sancho told him, as if he understood
+his words—‘All ills are good, when attended with food.’ About this time
+he discovered a hole at one side of the dungeon, large enough to give
+passage to a man, provided he could bend his body, and creep through; to
+this he hastened, and squeezing himself into it, perceived, within, a
+large extensive space, the particulars of which he could distinguish;
+for, through what may be termed the roof, descended a small stream of
+light that illuminated the whole place, which, as he observed, dilated
+and extended itself through another spacious concavity.
+
+Sancho, having made these remarks, returned to the place where his
+companion stood, and with a stone began to clear away the rubbish from
+the hole, which he in a little time enlarged to such a degree that
+Dapple passed with ease. Then taking the halter in his hand, he led him
+forwards through that cavern, in hope of finding an exit at the other
+end: and sometimes he proceeded darkling, and sometimes without one ray
+of light; but always in fear and trepidation. ‘God Almighty protect me!’
+said he within himself; ‘this, that is such a dismal expedition to me,
+would be an excellent adventure to my master, who would look upon these
+depths and dungeons as so many flower-gardens, and palaces of
+Galiana[194]; and expect to pass from this distress and obscurity, into
+some blooming meadow adorned with the pride of spring: whereas I, a
+miserable wretch! equally impudent and poor-spirited, dread, at every
+step, that another dungeon, still more deep, will suddenly open under my
+feet, and swallow me up at once. We may bear, without a groan, the
+misfortune that comes alone.’ In venting these ejaculations, he fancied
+he had proceeded about half a league, when he perceived a kind of
+confused light, like that of day, glimmering through a passage that
+seemed to be the road from this to the other world.
+
+Here Cid Hamet Benengeli, leaving the squire, returns to Don Quixote,
+waiting with joy and transport for the combat in which he was to engage
+with the person who had robbed the daughter of Donna Rodriguez of her
+precious virtue; for he made no doubt of redressing the grievance and
+disgrace which the delinquent had feloniously entailed upon the innocent
+damsel.
+
+Chancing one morning to go out, in order to improve and inure himself to
+the exercise of arms, which he meant to practise in that combat to which
+in a few days he must be exposed, he, in wheeling about, or giving the
+charge with Rozinante, rode so near the mouth of a cavern, that if he
+had not vigorously pulled in the reins, he must have plunged into it,
+without all possibility of escape. He kept his seat, however, and at
+length made his retreat good; then, re-approaching the hole, he, without
+alighting, surveyed the depth of the cave; and, while he was thus
+employed, heard loud cries issuing from below; in consequence of which,
+listening with great attention, he could distinguish articulate sounds,
+and distinctly understand the following exclamation: ‘So ho! above
+there; is there any Christian within hearing? or any charitable
+gentleman whose bowels yearn at the distress of a sinner buried alive,
+and an unfortunate misgoverned governor?’
+
+Don Quixote thought he recognized the voice of Sancho Panza, at hearing
+which he was confounded and astonished; and raising his own voice as
+high as he could strain—‘Who is that below,’ cried he, ‘complaining so
+grievously?’—‘Who should be here, or who complain, but the bewildered
+Sancho Panza, for his sins and misfortune, appointed governor of the
+Island Barataria, who was formerly squire to the renowned knight Don
+Quixote de La Mancha?’ When the knight heard this declaration, his
+surprize redoubled, his amazement increased, and he was struck with the
+notion that Sancho Panza was dead, and his soul doing penance in that
+place. Swayed by this conjecture, he exclaimed—‘I conjure thee, by all
+that is sacred, as a Catholick Christian, to tell me who thou art? If a
+soul in punishment, let me know what I can do in thy behalf; for, as it
+is my profession to savour and assist the needy of this world, so
+likewise am I ready to succour and relieve the miserable objects of the
+other world, who cannot relieve themselves.’—‘At that rate, and by your
+worship’s discourse,’ answered the voice, ‘you should be my master Don
+Quixote de la Mancha; and, indeed, by the tone of your voice, I know you
+can be no other.’—‘Don Quixote I am,’ replied the knight; ‘he who
+professed to aid and assist the living, as well as the dead, in their
+distresses. Tell me, therefore, who thou art, by whom I am thus held in
+astonishment; for if thou art my squire Sancho Panza, and hast quitted
+this life, seeing the devils have not got possession of thy soul, but
+through the mercy of God thou art now in purgatory, our holy mother, the
+Roman Catholick Church, has prayers sufficient to deliver thee from thy
+present pain; and I, for my part, will solicit them in thy behalf, as
+far as my whole fortune will extend; I say, therefore, make haste, and
+declare thy name and situation.’—‘I vow to God!’ answered the voice,
+‘and swear by the birth of whom your worship pleases, Signior Don
+Quixote de La Mancha, that I am your identical squire, Sancho Panza, and
+was never yet dead in the whole course of my life, but I quitted my
+government for causes and considerations which I must have more leisure
+to explain. Last night I fell into this dungeon, together with Dapple,
+who will not suffer me to tell an untruth; by the same token he stands
+now at my back.’ One would have imagined the beast understood what his
+master said; for that moment he began to bray so strenuously, that the
+whole cave echoed with the sound. ‘A most unexceptionable evidence!’
+cried Don Quixote; ‘I know that note as well as if I had given it birth;
+and, besides, I recognize thy voice, my good Sancho. Wait a little, I
+will ride to the duke’s castle, which is hard by, and bring people to
+extricate thee from that dungeon into which thou hast been plunged for
+thy sins and transgressions.’—‘I entreat your worship to go, for the
+love of God! and return speedily; for I cannot bear to be buried here
+alive; and, moreover, I am ready to die with fear!’
+
+The knight leaving him accordingly, repaired to the castle, where he
+recounted to the duke and duchess the accident which had befallen poor
+Sancho, at which they were not a little surprized, though they at once
+comprehended how he must have fallen by the correspondence of that
+cavern which had been there time out of mind; but they could not
+conceive how he should have quitted the government without giving them
+notice of his coming. Finally, ropes and cables were provided, together
+with a good number of people; and Dapple and Sancho Panza, though not
+without a great deal of trouble, were hoisted up from dungeons and
+darkness to the chearful light of day. ‘In this manner,’ said a student,
+who chanced to be among the spectators, ‘should all bad governors be
+dragged from their governments like that poor sinner from the profound
+abyss, half dead with hunger, pale with fear, and, as I believe, without
+a penny in his pocket.’ Sancho, hearing this observation, replied—‘Eight
+or ten days are now elapsed, brother growler, since I assumed the reins
+of government in that island, which was committed to my charge; and, in
+all that time, I never once had my belly-full, even of dry bread. I have
+been persecuted by physicians; my bones have been crushed by the enemy;
+but I never had a bribe in view, nor did I ever receive my due. And this
+being the case, as it certainly is, methinks, I have not deserved to be
+dragged out in this manner; but Man projects in vain, for God doth still
+ordain; Heaven knows how meet it is to grant, what every one pretends to
+want; Every season has its reason; Let no man presume to think, of this
+cup I will not drink; for, Where the stitch we hoped to find, not even a
+hook is left behind. God knows my meaning, and that’s enough; I shall
+say no more, though perhaps I could speak more plainly.’—‘Be not angry,
+Sancho,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘and give thyself no concern about what
+thou mayest hear, otherwise there will be no end of thy vexation;
+console thyself with a good conscience, and let them say what they will;
+for it is as impracticable to tye up the tongue of malice, as to erect
+barricadoes in the open fields. If a governor resigns his office in good
+circumstances, people say he must have been an oppressor and a knave;
+and if poverty attends him in his retreat, they set him down as an idiot
+and fool.’—‘For this time,’ answered Sancho, ‘I am certain they will
+think me more fool than knave.’
+
+Thus discoursing, and surrounded by a number of boys, and other
+spectators, they arrived at the castle, where the duke and duchess
+waited to receive them in a gallery; but Sancho would not go up stairs,
+until he saw Dapple properly accommodated in the stable; for, he
+observed, the poor creature had passed the preceding night in very
+indifferent lodging. Then he went to pay his respects to his noble
+patrons; before whom, falling on his knees—‘According to the good
+pleasure of your graces,’ said he, ‘and without any merit on my side, I
+went to govern your Island Barataria, which Naked I entered, and naked I
+remain; and if I lose nothing, as little I gain. Whether I have governed
+righteously or amiss, there are witnesses, who will declare, and say,
+whatsoever they think proper, I have explained doubts, and decided
+causes, though all the time half dead with hunger, because my fasting
+seemed good under Doctor Pedro Positive, native of Snatchaway, the
+island and governor’s physician. We were assaulted in the night by the
+enemy, who put us all in great jeopardy and consternation; and the
+inhabitants of the island said they were delivered, and proved
+victorious, by the valour of my invincible arm; but, so may God deal
+with them as they speak truth. In a word, I have, during my
+administration, considered the cares and obligations that attend the
+exercise of power, and found them, by my reckoning, too weighty for my
+shoulders; they are neither fit burthens for my back, nor arrows for my
+quiver; and, therefore, that the government might not discard me, I have
+thought proper to discard the government; and yesterday I left the
+island as I found it, with the same streets, houses, and roofs, which
+belonged to it when I took possession. I have borrowed of no man, nor
+consulted my own private gain or advantage; and, although my intention
+was to make some wholesome regulations, I did not put my design in
+execution, because I was afraid they would not be observed; and a law
+neglected, is the same thing as one that never was enacted.
+
+‘I quitted the island, as I have said, without any other company than
+that of Dapple; I fell into a dungeon, through which I groped my way,
+until this morning, by the light of the sun, I perceived a passage out
+of it, though not so easy but that if Heaven had not sent my master Don
+Quixote to my assistance, there I should have remained to the day of
+judgment. Here, then, my Lord Duke and Lady Duchess, is your governor
+Sancho Panza, who, during the ten days of his administration, has gained
+nothing but so much knowledge, that he would not give a farthing to be
+governor, not only of an island, but even of the whole world; and in
+this opinion, kissing your graces’ feet, and imitating the game of boys,
+who cry, “Leap and away,” I take a leap from the government into the
+service of my master Don Quixote; for, in short, though with him I eat
+my bread in terror and alarm, I at least fill my belly; and so that is
+full, I care not whether it be with carrots or partridge.’
+
+Here Sancho concluded his harangue, during which the knight was in
+continual apprehension that he would utter a thousand absurdities; but
+when he heard it finished with so few, he thanked Heaven in his heart;
+while the duke embraced Sancho, and told him he was grieved to the soul
+that he had so soon left his government; but he would find means to
+invest him with another office in his estate, which would be attended
+with less care and more advantage. He was likewise consoled by the
+duchess, who gave particular orders about his entertainment, as he
+seemed to be sorely bruised, and in a lamentable condition.
+
+Footnote 194:
+
+ This was a Moorish princess, for whom her father built a stately
+ palace near the Tagus, the ruins of which remain to this day.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IV.
+ OF THE DREADFUL AND UNSEEN BATTLE,
+ FOUGHT BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA,
+ AND THE LACQUEY TOSILOS,
+ IN BEHALF OF THE DAUGHTER OF RODRIGUEZ THE DUENNA.
+
+
+The duke and duchess did not repent of the joke they had executed upon
+Sancho Panza, with respect to his government, especially as the steward
+arrived the same day, and gave a circumstantial detail of all the words
+and actions which he had said and performed during the term of his
+administration. In fine, he magnified the assault of the island, and the
+terror of Sancho, and described the manner of his departure, from the
+account of which they received no small pleasure and satisfaction.
+
+The history afterwards relates, that the day appointed for the combat
+arrived; and the duke having again and again instructed his lacquey
+Tosilos how to manage Don Quixote, so as to conquer without slaying, or
+even wounding the knight, ordered the lances to be divested of their
+iron heads, observing to Don Quixote that Christianity, upon which he
+valued himself, would not allow him to let the combat be fought with any
+risk or danger of his life; and that he hoped the knight would be
+satisfied with his granting a field for the lists in his territories, an
+indulgence contrary to the decree of the holy council, which prohibits
+all such challenges: he therefore desired that the battle might not be
+fought to the last extremity. Don Quixote said his excellency might
+order the particulars of that affair according to his own pleasure, and
+that he would punctually comply with every circumstance of the
+disposition.
+
+The dreadful day then being arrived, and the duke having caused a
+spacious scaffold to be erected before the courtyard of the castle, for
+the accommodation of the judges of the field, and the mother and
+daughter, who were plaintiffs in the cause; an infinite number of people
+assembled from all the neighbouring towns and villages, to see the
+novelty of this battle; for such a combat had never been seen nor heard
+of in that country, by either the living or the dead. The first that
+entered the lists was the master of the ceremonies, in order to examine
+the ground; and he accordingly surveyed the whole field, to see that
+there was no deceit, or any thing concealed that might occasion
+stumbling or falling; then came the duennas and took their seats, veiled
+down to the eyes, and even to the bosom, with demonstrations of
+excessive grief. They being seated, Don Quixote presented himself in the
+lists; and in a little time appeared the great lacquey Tosilos upon a
+mighty steed that shook the very ground, accompanied with a number of
+trumpets, his vizor being down, and his whole body stiffened with strong
+and shining armour; his horse seemed to be of the Friezland breed, broad
+built, and of a flea-bitten colour, with a stone of wool hanging to
+every foot. Thus approached the valiant combatant, well instructed by
+the duke how to engage the valorous Don Quixote de La Mancha, and
+particularly cautioned against taking away the life of his knightly
+opponent; for he was warned to avoid the first encounter as he would
+shun his own death, which must have been certain had they met full shock
+in the midst of their career. This champion, crossing the field, and
+riding up to the place where the duennas were seated, began very
+earnestly to contemplate the person who claimed him as her husband[195];
+while the master of the field, calling to Don Quixote, who had likewise
+entered the lists, and kept close to Tosilos, asked the duennas if they
+consented to depend upon Don Quixote de La Mancha for the redress of
+their grievances; they replied in the affirmative, declaring, at the
+same time, that whatever he should do in the affair they would hold as
+well done, firm, and sufficient[196]. By this time, the duke and duchess
+had placed themselves in a gallery that overlooked the barriers, which
+were crouded with an infinite number of people, who came to see the
+dreadful and never-beheld encounter; but, before they engaged, it was
+stipulated, that if Don Quixote should overcome his antagonist, he, the
+said antagonist, should marry the daughter of Donna Rodriguez; but
+should victory declare for the defendant, he should be released from the
+promise they pretended he had made, without giving any other
+satisfaction.
+
+The master of the ceremonies having divided the sun, and stationed each
+combatant in his proper post, the drums began to thunder, the sound of
+trumpets filled the air, the earth trembled beneath their feet, and the
+hearts of the gazing multitude throbbed with suspense and expectation,
+some hoping, and others fearing, the good or bad success of the battle.
+Finally, Don Quixote, recommending himself with all his heart to our
+Lord God, and to the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso, waited with impatience
+for the precise signal of engaging; while our lacquey, engrossed by far
+other sentiments, thought of nothing but what we will now explain. While
+he stood gazing at his female enemy, she appeared in his eyes the most
+beautiful creature he had ever seen in the whole course of his life, and
+the little blind urchin, vulgarly known by the name of Cupid, was
+unwilling to lose this opportunity to triumph over a lacqueyan soul, and
+register this subject in the list of his atchievements; he, therefore,
+approached him fairly and softly, and unperceived let fly an arrow two
+yards long, which, entering his left side, transfixed his heart: nor was
+it difficult to perform this exploit; for Love is invincible, and makes
+his entrance and exit wheresoever he chuses to pass, without being
+called to account by any person upon earth—I say, when they gave the
+signal for battle, our lacquey’s soul was transported by the beauty of
+her, to whom, by this time, he had surrendered his liberty; and
+therefore, he was not so much affected by the sound of the trumpet as
+his antagonist Don Quixote, whose ears it no sooner saluted, than he
+sprang forwards to assault his adversary with all the mettle that
+Rozinante could exert; and his good squire Sancho seeing him begin his
+career, exclaimed with an audible voice, ‘God be thy guide, thou cream
+and flower of knights-errant: God grant thee the victory, seeing thy
+cause is the best!’
+
+Although Tosilos saw Don Quixote advancing against him, he did not budge
+one step from his station, but called aloud to the field-master, to
+whom, when he went up to see what he wanted, he thus addressed himself:
+‘Tell me, Signior, is not this combat appointed to determine whether I
+shall or shall not marry that lady?’ To this question the other having
+replied in the affirmative, ‘Well, then,’ resumed the lacquey, ‘I have a
+tender conscience, that would be grievously burdened should I proceed in
+this quarrel; and, therefore, I own myself vanquished, and will
+forthwith take the lady to wife.’ The field-master was surprized at this
+declaration of Tosilos; and, being in the secret of the plan, knew not
+what answer to make; while Don Quixote, perceiving his enemy did not
+come on to the assault, checked Rozinante in the middle of his career.
+The duke, being ignorant of the cause that retarded the battle, was by
+the field-master, informed of what Tosilos had said, at which he was
+extremely surprized and incensed; whereas, Tosilos, in the mean time,
+rode up towards the place where Donna Rodriguez was seated, and
+pronounced with a loud voice, ‘Madam, as I am willing to marry your
+daughter, there is no occasion to seek that by disputes and contention
+which I may obtain peaceably without the danger of death.’ The valiant
+Don Quixote hearing this address, ‘Since that is the case,’ said he, ‘I
+am released and acquitted of my promise; let them marry a-God’s name,
+and as our Lord bestows the bride, may St. Peter bless the nuptials!’
+
+The duke descending into the court-yard of the castle, and advancing to
+Tosilos, ‘Knight,’ said he, ‘is it true, that you own yourself
+vanquished, and that, instigated by your timorous conscience, you
+consent to marry this damsel?’ When he answered, ‘Yes, my lord.’—‘He is
+very much in the right,’ cried Sancho: ‘Give always to the cat what was
+kept for the rat; and, Let it still be thy view all mischief to eschew.’
+As for Tosilos, he began to unlace his helmet, and earnestly begged that
+somebody would come to his assistance; for his breath was almost gone,
+and he could not bear to be confined so long in such a narrow lodging.
+People accordingly ran to his relief; and his head being uncased, Donna
+Rodriguez discovered the individual countenance of our lacquey, which
+the daughter no sooner beheld than she cried aloud, ‘A cheat! a cheat!
+My Lord Duke has palmed his lacquey upon us, in lieu of my lawful
+husband: I demand justice of God and the king, for this malicious, not
+to call it knavish contrivance.’
+
+‘Ladies,’ said Don Quixote, ‘give yourselves no concern; there is
+neither malice nor knavery in the case; or if there is, it cannot be
+occasioned by the duke, but by those wicked inchanters who persecute me
+without ceasing: envious of the glory I should have acquired in this
+atchievement, they have metamorphosed your husband’s face into the
+aspect of this man, who, you say, is the duke’s lacquey. Take my advice,
+therefore, maugre the malice of mine enemies, bestow your hand upon him;
+for, without all doubt, he is the very person whom you desire to obtain
+as an husband.’
+
+The duke, overhearing this admonition, had well-nigh vented all his
+indignation in laughter, saying, ‘The adventures that happen to Signior
+Don Quixote are so extraordinary, that I am apt to believe this is not
+really my lacquey; but, let us make use of this expedient and stratagem:
+we will, if it be agreeable, delay the marriage a fortnight, and confine
+this person, of whom we are doubtful, and in that time perhaps he will
+retrieve his former figure; for surely the rancour of those wicked
+inchanters, who hate Don Quixote, cannot last so long; especially as
+such delusions and transformations avail them so little.’—‘O my lord!’
+cried Sancho, ‘those banditti have been long accustomed to chop, change,
+and transmography every thing that belongs to my master; some time ago
+he vanquished an errant, called the Knight of the Mirrours, and in a
+twinkling they transformed him into the figure of the batchelor Sampson
+Carrasco, a townsman and great friend of ours; as for my Lady Dulcinea
+del Toboso, they have changed her into a homely country wench; and,
+therefore, I take it for granted that this man will die and live a
+lacquey all the days of his life.’
+
+Here the daughter of Donna Rodriguez interposing, ‘Be he who he will,’
+said she, ‘I am obliged to him for asking me in marriage: and I would
+rather be the lawful wife of a lacquey, than the deluded mistress of a
+gentleman; although he who deluded me has no pretensions to that title.’
+In fine, all these incidents and explanations ended in the resolution to
+confine Tosilos, until they should see the issue of his transformation;
+while, with unusual acclamation, the victory was adjudged to Don
+Quixote; though the greatest part of the spectators seemed melancholy
+and disappointed, because they had not seen two such hopeful combatants
+hew one another in pieces: in the same manner as the boys are out of
+humour, when the execution is prevented by the malefactor’s being
+pardoned, either by the party or the king.
+
+The crowd dispersed, the duke and Don Quixote returned to the castle,
+Tosilos was sent to prison; Donna Rodriguez and her daughter rejoiced
+exceedingly, when they saw, that one way or another, this affair would
+end in marriage, and the lover consoled himself with the same prospect.
+
+Footnote 195:
+
+ A critick inclined to enumerate the inadvertencies of Cervantes, might
+ observe that Sancho pulled a piece of bread out of his wallet and gave
+ it to Dapple, after he had given the contents of the said wallet to
+ the pilgrims; that he tells the duke and duchess he had governed ten
+ days, whereas he had continued but seven days in office; and, lastly,
+ that Tosilos contemplated the beauties of the damsel, though we are
+ previously told that she was veiled down to the bosom.
+
+Footnote 196:
+
+ In the romance of Gerard de Nevers we read, that a certain young lady,
+ perceiving the eagerness with which that knight undertook her defence,
+ pulled the glove from her left-hand, and presented it to him, saying,
+ ‘Sir Knight, my body, life, lands, and honour, I commit to the
+ protection of God and you, to whom I pray he may grant grace to obtain
+ the victory, and deliver us from the danger in which we are now
+ involved.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. V.
+ GIVING AN ACCOUNT OF THE MANNER IN WHICH DON QUIXOTE
+ TOOK LEAVE OF THE DUKE;
+ AND OF WHAT PASSED BETWEEN HIM
+ AND THE GAY AND WITTY ALTISIDORA, ONE OF THE DUCHESS’S DAMSELS.
+
+
+By this time Don Quixote thought he would do well to quit that idle way
+of life which he led in the castle; for he imagined himself much to
+blame in living thus buried and inactive among those infinite dainties
+and entertainments with which he, as a knight-errant, was indulged by
+that noble pair; and he concluded that he would be obliged to give a
+severe account to Heaven of this idleness and sequestration. He,
+therefore, one day, begged leave of the duke and duchess to depart; and
+they granted his request, with marks of being extremely grieved at his
+intention. The duchess delivered to Sancho Panza his wife’s letter, and
+the good squire wept bitterly when he understood the contents; saying,
+‘Who could have thought such mighty hopes as were engendered in the
+breast of my wife Teresa Panza, by the news of my government, would
+vanish in my returning again to the woeful adventures of my master Don
+Quixote de La Mancha? Nevertheless, I am pleased to find that my Teresa
+behaved like herself, in sending the acorns to the duchess; for had she
+failed in that particular, I should have been sorely vexed, and she
+would have shewn herself ungrateful: what comforts my poor heart is,
+that they cannot call this present a bribe; for I was actually in
+possession of the government before the acorns were sent: and it is but
+reasonable, that folks who receive any sort of benefit should shew their
+gratitude, even though in trifles. In effect, naked I took possession of
+the government, and naked I resigned my office; therefore, I may say
+with a safe conscience, which is no small boast, I naked was born, and
+naked remain; and if I lose nothing, as little I gain.’
+
+This conference Sancho held with his own bosom on the day of their
+departure: as for Don Quixote, having taken leave of their graces
+over-night, he in the morning presented himself armed in the court-yard
+of the castle, where he furnished a spectacle to all the people of the
+family, not even excepting the duke and duchess, who viewed him from the
+gallery. Sancho was mounted upon Dapple, extremely well pleased with the
+contents of his bags, wallet, or store; for the duke’s steward, who
+acted the part of the Countess Trifaldi, had given him a small purse of
+two hundred crowns, to answer the emergencies of the road: but of this
+supply Don Quixote was ignorant. While every individual, as we have
+said, stood gazing at the knight, all of a sudden, from among the other
+duennas and damsels of the duchess, the gay and witty Altisidora,
+raising her voice, pronounced what follows, in a lamentable tone.
+
+ ‘Ah! hear my plaint, unlucky knight,
+ Pull in thy rein, and do me right;
+ And pr’ythee spare, at my request,
+ The flanks of that poor batter’d beast.
+ Consider she whose heart’s at stake,
+ False man! is not a scaly snake;
+ But a young lambkin, meek and true,
+ Just wean’d from teat of mother ewe.
+ Say, monster, why undo a maid
+ More beautiful than ever stray’d
+ With Cynthia, huntress of the wood,
+ Or Venus, native of the flood?
+ But Æneas-like thou mean’st to fly,
+ The death of Barrabas may Quixote die!
+
+ ‘Thou, robber! in thy claws hast got
+ The heart and bowels, and what not,
+ Of a weak virgin, Heav’n befriend her!
+ Mild, humble, timorous, and tender.
+ Three linen night-caps hast thou stole,
+ And silken garters strong and whole,
+ That to these legs did appertain;
+ These legs, as marble smooth and clean.
+ Thou carriest off two thousand sighs,
+ Which, kindled by thy beaming eyes,
+ Would in a twinkling quite destroy
+ Two thousand cities great as Troy.
+ But if Æneas-like thou mean’st to fly,
+ The death of Barrabas may Quixote die!
+
+ ‘May Sancho’s buttocks, and his heart,
+ Ne’er feel the ignominious smart
+ Prescrib’d, when he is pleas’d and ready
+ To disinchant thy fav’rite lady!
+ Since thine’s the offence, and thine the blame,
+ Endure the punishment and shame
+ Which in my country, once a year,
+ The righteous for the wicked bear.
+ Be thy adventures (small and great)
+ Inglorious and unfortunate;
+ Like dreams may all thy pleasures fade,
+ Thy constancy oblivion shade;
+ And if Æneas-like thou mean’st to fly,
+ The death of Barrabas may Quixote die!
+
+ ‘May’st thou be deem’d a perjur’d devil,
+ E’en from Marchena unto Seville;
+ From Loja to Granada hated,
+ From London Tow’r to England baited.
+ At drafts should’st thou attempt to play,
+ Or waste at ombre all the day,
+ May no crown’d monarch or spadille
+ Attend the efforts of thy skill;
+ When angry corn disturbs thy toe,
+ May blood at ev’ry paring flow;
+ And of each tooth the barbers draw,
+ The stump still fester in thy jaw:
+ Nay, since Æneaslike thou mean’st to fly,
+ The death of Barrabas may Quixote die!’
+
+While the afflicted Altisidora complained in these strains, Don Quixote
+surveyed her attentively; and, without answering a word to her
+lamentation, turned to Sancho, saying, ‘By the age of thine ancestors,
+my dear Sancho, I conjure thee to tell me the truth: say, hast thou
+actually got the three caps and the garters, which this enamoured damsel
+mentions?’ To this question the squire replied, ‘The three caps I have;
+but as to the garters, I know nothing of the matter.’
+
+The duchess was surprized at the freedom of Altisidora’s behaviour; for,
+although she knew her to be forward, merry, and frank, she did not think
+the girl possessed of assurance enough to attempt a scheme of this
+nature; and her admiration was the greater, as she had not been
+previously apprized of the intended joke. The duke, however, in order to
+reinforce the jest, addressed himself to Don Quixote in these words: ‘It
+does not look well, Sir Knight, that you who have met with such
+honourable reception and treatment in this my castle, should presume to
+carry off by stealth three knight-caps, at least, if not a pair of
+garters likewise, belonging to my damsel: these are marks of a bad
+heart, and but ill agree with your reputation. Restore the garters to
+the right owner; otherwise, I challenge you to mortal combat, without
+any apprehension that knavish inchanters will transform or change my
+face, as they have practised upon my lacquey Tosilos, your last
+antagonist.’
+
+‘God forbid,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘that I should unsheath my sword
+against your illustrious person, of whom I received such favours! The
+three night-caps shall be restored; for Sancho owns they are in his
+custody: but it is impossible to make restitution of the garters, as
+neither he nor I did ever receive them; and I dare say your damsel will
+find them, if she will take the trouble to rummage her own drawers. I,
+my lord duke, was never a thief, and I hope never shall in the whole
+course of my lite, provided God will not withdraw from me his guiding
+hand. The damsel, according to her own declaration, talks like an
+enamoured person; but surely I am not to blame for her impertinence:
+and, therefore, I have no reason to ask pardon either of her or your
+excellency, whom I entreat to look upon me with more favourable
+sentiments, and beseech anew to consent that I may prosecute my
+journey.’—‘God grant your departure may be so happy,’ said the duchess,
+‘that we may always hear good news of Don Quixote’s exploits. Go, then,
+a God’s name; for the longer you stay, your presence blows up the fire
+the more fiercely in the bosoms of the damsels who behold you: as for
+mine, I will chastise her in such a manner, that from henceforward she
+shall never transgress either in word or deed.’—‘One word more, however,
+I beg thou wilt hear me speak, O valiant Don Quixote!’ said Altisidora.
+‘I crave pardon for having taxed you with the garters; for, as I shall
+answer to Heaven and my own conscience, they are now upon my legs; and I
+have been guilty of a mistake, like the man who went in search of his
+ass, while he was mounted on his back.’—‘Did not I tell you so?’ cried
+the squire: ‘I should be a rare fellow indeed, to receive and conceal
+stolen goods; had I been that way inclined, I might have had opportunity
+enough in my government.’
+
+Don Quixote bowing his head, made a profound reverence to the duke and
+duchess, and all the spectators; then turning Rozinante, and being
+followed by Sancho upon Dapple, he set out from the castle, directing
+his course to Saragossa.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VI.
+ SHEWING HOW ADVENTURES THRONGED UPON DON QUIXOTE
+ SO THICK AS TO ENTANGLE ONE ANOTHER.
+
+
+When Don Quixote found himself in the open field, free and
+disembarrassed from the complaints of Altisidora, he seemed to be placed
+in the very center of his own wish, and to enjoy a renovation of
+spirits, in order to prosecute anew the aim of his chivalry. Turning,
+therefore, to his squire, ‘Sancho,’ said he, ‘liberty is one of the most
+precious gifts which Heaven hath bestowed on man, exceeding all the
+treasures which earth encloses, or which ocean hides; and for this
+blessing, as well as for honour, we may and ought to venture life
+itself: on the other hand, captivity and restraint are the greatest
+evils that human nature can endure. I make this observation, Sancho,
+because thou hast seen the delicacies and the plenty with which we were
+entertained in that castle: yet, in the midst of those savoury banquets,
+and ice-cooled potations, I thought myself confined within the very
+straits of famine, because I did not enjoy the treat with that liberty
+which I should have felt, had it been my own; for obligations incurred
+by benefits and favours received, are fetters which hamper the freeborn
+soul. Happy is he to whom Heaven hath sent a morsel of bread, for which
+he is obliged to none but Heaven itself.’
+
+‘But notwithstanding all that your worship hath said,’ replied Sancho,
+‘we, for our parts, ought not to be ungrateful, considering the two
+hundred crowns of gold which the duke’s steward gave me in a purse, and
+which, as a plaister and a cordial, I keep next my heart, in case of
+emergency; for we shall not always find such castles where we can be
+entertained; on the contrary, we may sometimes stumble upon sorry inns,
+where we shall be soundly cudgelled.’
+
+With this and other such discourse, the two errants, knight and squire,
+amused themselves while they proceeded on their journey. Having
+travelled a little more than a league, they perceived upon a green spot
+of ground, about a dozen countrymen at dinner, with their cloaks spread
+under them; and hard by, certain white sheets at some distance from one
+another, that seemed to cover something, above which they were raised up
+and stretched with great care and caution. Don Quixote approaching the
+men, first of all saluted them courteously, and then asked what it was
+they covered so carefully with these pieces of linen. ‘Signior,’ replied
+one of the countrymen, ‘under these sheets are carved images for an
+altar-piece to be set up in our town; we cover them in this manner, that
+they may not be sullied, and carry them upon our shoulders that they may
+not be broken.’—‘If you please,’ replied the knight, ‘I should be glad
+to see them; they must certainly be good images, which you so carefully
+convey.’—‘Good!’ cried the other, ‘aye, that the price of them will
+declare: I can assure you there is not one of them that does not cost
+above fifty ducats; and that your worship may be convinced of the truth
+of what I say, stay a moment, and you shall see it with your own eyes.’
+
+So saying, he left his dinner, and rising up, uncovered the first piece,
+which represented St. George on horseback, with his lance thrust into
+the throat of a serpent coiled at his feet, exhibiting all the
+fierceness with which that animal is usually painted; and the whole
+groupe looked, as the saying is, like a flame of gold.
+
+Don Quixote, immediately recognizing the subject, ‘This knight,’ said
+he, ‘was one of the best errants that ever signalized themselves in
+divine warfare; his name was St. George, and he was, moreover, a
+protector of damsels. Let us see the next;’ which, when displayed,
+appeared to be the image of St. Martin on horseback, dividing his cloak
+with the beggar. Don Quixote no sooner beheld it, than he said to
+Sancho, ‘This knight was also one of the Christian adventurers, and, I
+believe, more liberal than valiant, as thou mayest perceive by this
+circumstance of dividing his cloak, and giving one half to the beggar;
+and, doubtless, this incident must have happened in the winter season,
+otherwise the saint was so charitable he would have given the
+whole.’—‘Nay, that surely was not the case,’ replied the squire; ‘but he
+held fast by the old proverb, which says, The man in wisdom must be old,
+who knows in giving where to hold.’
+
+Don Quixote smiled at this remark, and desired the man to lift the third
+cover, under which appeared the figure of the patron of Spain on
+horseback, with his bloody sword, trampling down and bruising the heads
+of the Moors. Don Quixote seeing this representation, exclaimed, ‘Ah!
+this is a knight, and chief in the squadrons of Christ; his name is Don
+San Diego Mata Moros[197], and he was one of the most valiant saints and
+knights which earth ever produced, or heaven now contains.’ Then they
+unveiled the fourth, which exhibited St. Paul falling from his horse,
+with all the circumstances usually set forth in the picture of his
+conversion, so lively represented, that one would have almost thought
+Christ was speaking, and Paul answering the voice. ‘This,’ said Don
+Quixote, ‘was the most bitter enemy the church of God ever had, while
+our Lord and Saviour was on earth, and afterwards the greatest defender
+it will ever have: a knight-errant in his life, and a perfect saint in
+his death; an unwearied labourer in the vineyard of our Lord, a teacher
+of the Gentiles, schooled by Heaven, and whose professor and master was
+Jesus Christ himself.’
+
+There being no other images to see, Don Quixote desired the man to cover
+up those he had examined; and addressing himself to the bearers,
+‘Brothers,’ said he, ‘I look upon it as a good omen to have met with
+these images; for these saints and knights were of my profession, which
+is the exercise of arms: with this difference, however, they were
+saints, and fought in a divine manner; and I, who am a sinner, fight in
+the manner of men. They conquered Heaven by the force of their arms; for
+the kingdom of Heaven suffers violence; whereas I know not, hitherto,
+what I have conquered by the toils and troubles I have undergone: but if
+my Dulcinea del Toboso should be delivered from those she now sustains,
+my fortune will be bettered, my judgment repaired, and perhaps my steps
+may be directed through a better path than that which I at present
+follow.’
+
+This declaration was closed with an exclamation of Sancho, who cried
+aloud, ‘The Lord give ear, I pray; and sin be deaf for aye!’ The men
+were equally astonished at the knight’s appearance and discourse, one
+half of which they did not understand; nevertheless, they made an end of
+their meal, shouldered their images, and taking leave of Don Quixote,
+pursued their journey. Sancho was, on this occasion, as much astonished
+at the learning of his master, as if he had never known him before that
+day; and imagined there was not an history or event in the whole world,
+that was not decyphered on his nail, or nailed to his memory. ‘Truly,
+master of mine,’ said he, ‘if what has happened to us to-day may be
+called an adventure, it is the most sweet and delicious of all that have
+yet befallen us in the whole course of our peregrinations; from this we
+have escaped with whole skins and fearless hearts; we have neither
+unsheathed our swords, battered the earth with our poor carcases, nor
+are we left in a starving condition; blessed be God who hath spared me
+to see this good luck with my own eyes!’—‘Thou sayest well, Sancho,’
+replied the knight; ‘but thou must take notice, that all times are not
+the same, nor equally fortunate; and those incidents which the vulgar
+call omens, though not founded on any natural reason, have, even by
+persons of sagacity, been held and deemed as fair and fortunate. One of
+these superstitious omen-mongers rises in the morning, goes abroad,
+chances to meet a friar belonging to the beatified St. Francis; and, as
+if he had encountered a dragon in his way, runs back to his own house
+with fear and consternation. Another Foresight[198] by accident scatters
+the salt upon the table, by which fear and melancholy are scattered
+through his heart; as if nature was obliged to foretel future
+misfortunes by such trivial signs and tokens; whereas, a prudent man and
+a good Christian will not so minutely scrutinize the purposes of Heaven.
+Scipio chancing to fall in landing upon the coast of Africk, and
+perceiving that his soldiers looked upon this accident as a bad omen, he
+embraced the soil with seeming eagerness, saying, “Thou shalt not ’scape
+me, Africk; for I have thee safe within my arms.” Therefore, Sancho, my
+meeting with those images I consider as a most happy encounter.’—‘I am
+of the same opinion,’ answered the squire; ‘but I wish your worship
+would be pleased to tell me, for what reason the Spaniards, when they
+join battle, and invoke that same St. Diego Mata Moros, cry, “St. Jago!”
+and “Close, Spain!” Is Spain cloven in such a manner, as to want
+closing; or what is the meaning of that ceremony?’—‘Sancho,’ replied the
+knight, ‘thy simplicity is very great. You must know, that God has given
+this great Knight of the Red Cross, as a patron and protector to Spain,
+especially in those dreadful battles fought against the Moors. The
+Spaniards, therefore, invoke and call upon him as their defender on all
+such occasions; nay, many times hath he been seen overthrowing,
+trampling, slaying, and destroying the squadrons of the children of
+Hagar[199]; and of this truth I could convince thee by many examples
+recorded in the authentick histories of Spain[200].’
+
+Sancho changing the subject of conversation, ‘Signior,’ said he, ‘I was
+astonished at the boldness of her grace’s damsel, Altisidora. I’faith!
+she must be rarely pricked and stabbed by him they call Cupid; who, they
+say, is a mischievous blind boy, and is able, with those bleared eyes of
+his, or rather with no eyes at all, if once he takes aim, to pierce
+through and through with his arrows, the smallest heart that ever was
+seen. I have also heard it observed, that by the modesty and reserve of
+young women, these same amorous shafts are blunted and broken; but in
+Altisidora they seem rather to be whetted than blunted.’—‘Sancho,’
+replied Don Quixote, ‘you must know that love has no respect of persons;
+nor, in his progress, does he confine himself within the bounds of
+reason; indeed he is of the same disposition with death; for he assaults
+the lofty palaces of kings, as well as the humble cottages of swains.
+When he once has taken full possession of the soul, his first exploit is
+to expel fear and modesty; and without these did Altisidora declare her
+passion, which engendered not pity, but confusion in my breast.’—‘O
+monstrous and notorious cruelty!’ cried Sancho, ‘unheard-of ingratitude!
+I can say for myself, that the least kind word from her would have
+subdued and made me her bond slave. Ah, the son of a whore! what a heart
+of marble, bowels of brass, and soul of plaister!—But I cannot, for the
+blood of me, conceive what the damsel could see in your worship, to tame
+and bring her to such an humble pass; what finery, what good humour,
+what gentility could she observe about your person? or what beauty could
+she spy in that face? for women are taken with these qualities either
+severally or conjunctly. Verily, verily, I have often stopped to survey
+your worship from the sole of your foot to the last hair upon your
+scull; and I protest before God! I think you would be more apt to
+frighten than to captivate a fair lady; and as I have, moreover, heard
+it said, that beauty is the chief and principal article that inspires
+love, your worship being quite destitute of that commodity, I cannot
+imagine what the poor creature was in love with.’—‘Take notice, Sancho,’
+replied Don Quixote, ‘there are two kinds of beauty, one of the mind,
+and another of the body: that of the mind displays itself in the
+understanding, in honourable and virtuous behaviour, in a liberality of
+disposition, and in good breeding; now, all these qualifications may
+center in an ugly man; and when this kind of beauty, preferable to that
+of the body, is the object of admiration, it produces love that glows
+with equal impetuosity and advantage. For my own part, Sancho, I can
+easily see that I am not beautiful; but I likewise know I am not
+deformed; and a gentleman who is not altogether monstrous, may inspire
+the most ardent love, provided he is in possession of those qualities of
+the mind which I have mentioned.’
+
+Thus discoursing together they entered a wood, at a small distance from
+the highway; and, all of a sudden, without dreaming of any such lett or
+impediment, Don Quixote found himself entangled among some nets of green
+thread, which were spread and stretched from tree to tree. As he could
+not conceive the meaning of this phænomenon, ‘I believe,’ said he to
+Sancho, ‘that this of the nets must be one of the newest adventures that
+ever were imagined or contrived. Let me die if the inchanters by whom I
+am persecuted, have not a mind to entangle me in them, and obstruct my
+journey, in revenge for my rigour and indifference towards Altisidora!
+But I shall give them to understand, that although these nets, instead
+of thread, were made of the hardest adamant, and stronger than that in
+which the jealous God of blacksmiths caught Mars and Venus together, I
+would break through them as easily as if they were of rushes and unspun
+cotton.’
+
+[Illustration: Don Quixote and the Shepherdesses.]
+
+So saying, he endeavoured to proceed and destroy this obstacle, when all
+at once, from a tuft of trees, came forth two most beautiful
+shepherdesses, at least they were clad like shepherdesses, though their
+jackets and petticoats were of fine brocade—I say, their petticoats were
+of the richest gold tabby; their hair hung loose upon their shoulders,
+and in shining might have vied with the rays of Apollo himself; their
+heads were adorned with garlands of green laurel, interwoven with sprigs
+of red amaranth; and their age seemed to be neither under fifteen, nor
+turned of eighteen; a sight that struck Sancho with admiration, the
+knight with surprize, and suspended the sun in the middle of his career.
+All the four, for some time, remained in silent wonder; and at length,
+the first who spoke was one of the two country maidens, who, addressing
+herself to Don Quixote, ‘Forbear, Sir Knight,’ said she, ‘and do not
+break our nets, which, I assure you, were not spread for your
+inconvenience, but merely for our own pastime: and because I know you
+will ask for what reason they are placed, and who we are, I will satisfy
+your curiosity in a few words. At a village about two leagues from
+hence, which is inhabited by many people of fortune and fashion, it was
+agreed among a number of friends and relations, that they, their wives,
+sons, daughters, neighbours, friends and kinsfolks, should come and
+enjoy the fine season in this spot, which is the most agreeable
+situation in all this country; and here form a new pastoral Arcadia, the
+girls being habited like shepherdesses, and the young men like swains.
+We have studied two eclogues; one of the famous poet Garcilasso, and
+another of the most excellent Camoens, in his own Portuguese language;
+though they are not yet represented, for we arrived only yesterday.
+Among these trees we have pitched some field-tents, upon the banks of a
+plentiful stream which fertilizes all these meadows; and last night we
+spread these nets from tree to tree, in order to deceive and catch the
+simple little birds, which, frightened by the noise we make, may fly
+into the snare: if you chuse to be our guest, Signior, you shall be
+treated liberally and courteously, for at present neither melancholy nor
+disgust shall enter this place.’
+
+Here she left off speaking; and Don Quixote replied—‘Assuredly, most
+beauteous nymph, Acteon himself could not be seized with more surprize
+and admiration, when he all of a sudden beheld Diana bathing, than that
+which but now overwhelmed me at sight of such uncommon charms! I applaud
+the scheme of your entertainments and diversions; I thank you heartily
+for your courteous proffer, and if I can serve you in any shape, you may
+command me, with full assurance of being obeyed; for I have chosen this
+profession solely because it consists in being grateful and benevolent
+to all mankind, especially to persons of rank such as your appearance
+declares you to be; and if these nets, which I suppose occupy but a
+small space, were extended over the whole circumference of the globe, I
+would find new worlds through which I might pass, rather than by
+breaking the least mesh, run the risque of interrupting your diversion.
+That you may give some credit to this exaggeration, be pleased to take
+notice, that he who makes it is no other than Don Quixote de La Mancha,
+if peradventure such a name hath ever reached your ears.’
+
+The young lady no sooner heard these words, than turning to the other
+shepherdess, ‘O my dear companion!’ cried she, ‘what an happy incident
+is this! that there knight, I assure thee, is the most valiant,
+enamoured, and courteous person in the whole world, if we are not misled
+and deceived by the printed history of his exploits, which I have read
+from end to end; and I’ll lay a wager that honest man who accompanies
+him is one Sancho Panza, his squire, whose pleasantry is above all
+comparison.’—‘You are in the right,’ said Sancho; ‘I am that same
+pleasant fellow and loyal squire whom your ladyship hath so honourably
+mentioned; and that gentleman is my master, the very individual
+historified and aforesaid Don Quixote de La Mancha.’
+
+‘Good now, my dear,’ said the other, ‘let us beseech them to stay; our
+fathers and brothers will be infinitely pleased with their conversation;
+for I have likewise heard the same account of the knight’s valour and
+the squire’s pleasantry: as for Don Quixote, in particular, he is said
+to be the most constant and loyal lover that ever was known; and that
+his mistress is one Dulcinea del Toboso, who bears away the palm of
+beauty from all the ladies in Spain.’—‘Aye, and justly too,’ said the
+knight; ‘unless your unequalled beauty should invalidate her claim.
+Weary not yourselves, fair ladies, in persuading me to stay; for the
+indispensible duties of my profession will not allow me to rest in any
+place whatever.’
+
+Just as he pronounced these words, they were joined by a brother of one
+of the two nymphs, clad likewise in the fashion of a shepherd, though
+his dress, in point of richness and gaiety, corresponded with that of
+the ladies, who told him that the gentleman on horseback was the valiant
+Don Quixote de La Mancha, and the other his squire Sancho, whose
+characters he already knew from his having perused their history. The
+gallant youth paid his compliments, and pressed Don Quixote to accompany
+them to the tents, in such a manner that he could not help complying.
+Then setting up the shout, the nets were filled with different kinds of
+little birds, which, deceived by the colour of the meshes, flew
+precipitately into the very danger they sought to avoid.
+
+In this place they were joined by above thirty persons, gaily clad like
+shepherds and shepherdesses, who were immediately informed of the names
+of Don Quixote and his squire; a circumstance which afforded them no
+small satisfaction, as the history had already made them acquainted with
+the characters of both.
+
+Repairing to the tents, where they found tables ready furnished with
+elegance and abundance, they complimented the knight with the place of
+honour, and all the company gazed upon him with admiration. At length,
+when the cloth was taken away, Don Quixote raising his voice, thus
+harangued them with great solemnity: ‘Of all the crimes which mankind
+commit, though some say pride is the greatest, I affirm that ingratitude
+is the most atrocious, adhering to the common supposition, that hell is
+crouded with the ungrateful. This crime I have, as much as in me lies,
+endeavoured to avoid ever since the first moment in which I could
+exercise my reason; and though I may not be able to repay in kind the
+benefits which I receive, I substitute the will for the deed: when that
+is not sufficient, I publish them to the world; for he that promulgates
+the favours he has received, would also requite them with equal
+generosity, if it was in his power to make such recompence. But, for the
+most part, people who receive benefits are inferior to those who bestow
+them; and, therefore, God is above all, because he is the fountain of
+all good things. Yet there is an infinite difference between the
+benefits conferred by men and those bestowed by God, so as to reject all
+comparison; and this narrowness and insufficiency on our part, is in
+some measure supplied by gratitude. Now, I being grateful for the
+favours you have done me, which I cannot repay in the same measure, and
+being hampered by the narrow limits of my ability, must offer that which
+is in my power to present; I say, therefore, that I will for two natural
+days, in the middle of that high-road that leads to Saragossa, maintain
+that the ladies here present, disguised in pastoral habits, are the most
+fair and courteous damsels in the whole world, excepting always and
+only, the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, sole mistress of my thoughts;
+without offence to the honourable hearers be it spoken.’
+
+Here Sancho, who had stood listening attentively to what he said,
+exclaimed with great vociferation, ‘Is it possible, now, that there can
+be persons in the world, who have the presumption to say and swear that
+my master is a madman? Pray tell me, gentlemen and ladies, shepherds and
+shepherdesses, is there ever a country-curate in Spain, let him be never
+so wise and learned, that could say what my master has just now said; or
+is there a knight-errant, let him be never so famed for valour, who
+could make such an offer as my master has made!’
+
+Don Quixote turning to Sancho, with rage and indignation in his
+countenance, ‘Miscreant,’ said he, ‘is it possible there should be a
+person upon earth who would not say thou art stark mad, and that thy
+soul is lined and bordered with fillets of malice and knavery? By what
+authority, wretch! art thou entitled to intermeddle in my affairs, and
+give thy opinion whether my brain be sound or crazy? Seal up thy lips,
+and make no reply; but saddle Rozinante, if he is without his saddle,
+and let us go immediately and perform my promise; for as I have justice
+on my side, you may deem all those who shall contradict my assertion as
+already vanquished.’
+
+So saying, he rose from his seat with great fury and demonstrations of
+wrath, leaving the whole company astonished, and doubting whether they
+should consider him as a lunatick or person of sound intellects.
+However, they endeavoured to dissuade him from publishing such a
+declaration, saying they took his gratitude for granted, and that there
+was no need of new proofs to demonstrate his valour, seeing those were
+sufficient which they had seen recorded in the history of his
+atchievements.
+
+Notwithstanding this remonstrance, the knight executed his design; he
+mounted Rozinante, embraced his shield, and grasping his lance, posted
+himself in the middle of the king’s highway, which was not far from
+their verdant habitation, being followed by Sancho upon Dapple and the
+whole flock of those pastoral gentry, who were curious to see the issue
+of his arrogant and hitherto unseen enterprize.
+
+Having taken possession of the ground, he wounded the very vault of
+heaven with the loudness of the tone in which he pronounced these words:
+‘O ye passengers and travellers, knights, squires, persons on horseback
+or a-foot, who come or are to come this way, within the space of two
+days, from this present hour, know that Don Quixote de La Mancha,
+knight-errant, is here posted to maintain that the nymphs who inhabit
+these meadows and woods, excel in beauty and courtesy all the ladies
+upon earth, exclusive of Dulcinea del Toboso, the mistress of my soul.
+Let him who thinks the contrary, advance; here I am ready to receive
+him.’
+
+Twice did he repeat this declaration, and twice was it repeated unheard
+by any knight adventurer; but fortune, which was bent upon directing his
+affairs to better purpose, ordained, that in a very little time he
+descried upon the road a great number of men on horseback, some of them
+armed with lances riding towards him in great haste, and all in a
+cluster. Those who were with Don Quixote no sooner perceived this troop,
+than they turned their backs and retired a good way from the road,
+knowing that some mischief would befal them, should they keep their
+ground: the knight alone maintained his post with an undaunted heart,
+and Sancho Panza shielded himself with the flanks of Rozinante.
+
+When this troop of lancemen advanced, one of them that rode before the
+rest, began to halloo as loud as he could cry to Don Quixote, ‘Get out
+of the way, thou servant of the devil, or these bulls will trample thee
+to dust!’—‘So ho, caitiffs!’ replied the knight; ‘your bulls shall not
+avail against me, even though they are the fiercest that ever fed upon
+the banks of Xarama; confess, ye miscreants, unsight, unseen, the truth
+of what I have proclaimed, or meet my vengeance in the field of battle.’
+
+The herdsman had no time to reply, nor Don Quixote to retire, had he
+been never so willing; so that the drove of wild bulls and tame cattle,
+together with a multitude of drivers and other people employed to convey
+them to a place where, in a few days, they were to be baited—the whole
+throng, I say, passed over the bellies of Don Quixote, Sancho,
+Rozinante, and Dapple, whom they in a twinkling overthrew and rolled in
+the mire, in such a manner that the squire was squeezed as flat as a
+pancake, his master astonished, Dapple terribly bruised, and Rozinante
+in no very catholick condition. At length, however, all the four got
+upon their legs; and Don Quixote, staggering here, and tumbling there,
+began to pursue the drove on foot, calling aloud—‘Halt, and wait a
+little, ye felonious plebeians; he is a single knight who defies you to
+the combat, and not of the disposition and opinion of those who say—“Lay
+a bridge of silver for a flying enemy.”’
+
+But notwithstanding all his exclamation, the drovers did not slacken
+their pace, or mind his threats, more than they minded last year’s
+weather. Don Quixote being so tired, that he could run no farther, sat
+down upon the side of the road, more incensed than revenged, and waited
+for Sancho, Rozinante, and Dapple, who soon arrived. Then the knight and
+squire, mounting their beasts, proceeded on their journey with more
+shame than satisfaction; and never dreamed of returning to take a formal
+leave of the feigned or counterfeit Arcadia.
+
+Footnote 197:
+
+ Moor-killer.
+
+Footnote 198:
+
+ The original word is Mendoza, the name of a great family in Spain, one
+ of whom was remarkably superstitious.
+
+Footnote 199:
+
+ The Moors are said to be descended from Hagar.
+
+Footnote 200:
+
+ Sancho must have been very simple indeed, to be satisfied with this
+ explanation, which does not even hint at the main point of his
+ question; namely, Why do the Spanish soldiers, when they charge their
+ enemy, cry, ‘Close, Spain?’ A phrase of encouragement, by which the
+ soldiers exhort one another to do their duty, and close with the foe.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VII.
+ IN WHICH IS RECOUNTED THE EXTRAORDINARY INCIDENT
+ THAT HAPPENED TO DON QUIXOTE,
+ AND MAY WELL PASS FOR AN ADVENTURE.
+
+
+The dust and drought which Don Quixote and Sancho derived from the
+uncivil behaviour of the bulls, were remedied by a clear and limpid
+stream which they had the good fortune to find in a good shade, and on
+the margin of which this down-trodden pair, the master and man, seated
+themselves, after Rozinante and Dapple were unbridled, and unhaltered,
+and left to the freedom of their own will. Sancho immediately had
+recourse to the store of his wallet, from which he drew forth what he
+usually called his belly-timber; but not before he had rinsed his mouth,
+and his master had washed his own face, in consequence of which
+refreshment they recovered their exhausted spirits. Nevertheless, Don
+Quixote forbore eating, out of pure vexation; while Sancho, who durst
+not touch the food that was before him, waited, out of pure good
+manners, until his master should begin. Seeing, however, the knight so
+absorbed in his own imagination, that he forgot to lift the bread to his
+mouth, he, without letting one word escape his own, but trampling
+under-foot all kind of good-breeding, began to cram his paunch with the
+bread and cheese which constituted his provision. ‘Eat, friend Sancho,’
+said Don Quixote, ‘and support life, which is of more importance to thee
+than to me, and leave me to die by the strength of imagination and the
+severity of my misfortunes. I, Sancho, was born to live dying, and thou
+to die eating; and that thou mayest be convinced of this truth, consider
+me recorded in history, renowned in arms, courteous in demeanour,
+respected by princes, courted by damsels; and, after all, when I
+expected palms, triumphs, crowns of laurel, obtained and merited by my
+valiant atchievements, I have this morning seen myself trampled,
+spurned, and bruised, by the feet of filthy, unclean animals! This
+consideration blunts my teeth, stupifies my grinders, benumbs my hands,
+and deprives me wholly of appetite; so that I believe I shall die of
+hunger, the most cruel of all deaths.’—‘At that rate,’ answered the
+squire, without suspending the action of his jaws, ‘your worship will
+not approve of the proverb which says—“Let Martha die, but not for lack
+of pye.” At least I, for my own part, have no intention to starve
+myself; on the contrary, I am resolved to follow the example of the
+cordwainer who stretches the leather with his teeth until it is
+sufficient for his purpose; now, I will also employ my teeth in
+stretching out my life with eating, to that end which is ordained by
+Heaven; and you must know, Signior, that it is the greatest madness in
+nature to seek to despair like your worship. Take my advice; eat a
+little for refreshment, and then take a nap upon the green couch of this
+delightful grass, and when you awake you will see how much you’ll be
+relieved.’
+
+The knight relished his advice, which he thought savoured more of the
+philosopher than of the ideot; and said to him, ‘Now, Sancho, if thou
+wouldst do that for me which I am going to mention, my relief would be
+more certain, and my affliction diminished: my proposal is, that while I
+sleep, in compliance with thy advice, thou wouldst go aside a little
+farther, and, exposing thy flesh to the air, bestow upon it, with the
+reins of Rozinante’s bridle, three or four hundred stripes, of the three
+thousand three hundred which thou hast undertaken to endure for the
+disinchantment of Dulcinea; for it is a lamentable circumstance that the
+poor lady should remain so long inchanted, through thy carelessness and
+neglect.’—‘There is much to be said on that subject,’ replied Sancho:
+‘let us both go to sleep in the mean time; and afterwards God must
+ordain that which will come to pass. Your worship must know, that it
+requires great resolution in a man to scourge himself in cold blood;
+especially when the stripes fall upon a body which is poorly fed and
+supported: let my Lady Dulcinea have a little patience; when she least
+thinks of it, she will see my body scourged into a perfect sieve; and
+while there is life there is hope; my meaning is, that while I hold
+life, I shall never quit the desire of performing my promise.’
+
+Don Quixote, thanking him for his good-will, took a little sustenance,
+Sancho ate voraciously, and then both laid themselves down to sleep,
+leaving Rozinante and Dapple, those two friends and inseparable
+companions, at full liberty to feed, without restraint, upon the
+luxuriant grass with which the meadow abounded.
+
+The day being far spent before they awoke, they remounted their cattle,
+and pursued their journey with uncommon expedition, in order to reach an
+inn which they descried at a league’s distance. I say, an inn, because
+it was so called by Don Quixote, contrary to his former custom of
+mistaking every inn for a castle. When they arrived at this place of
+entertainment, they asked if they could be accommodated with lodging;
+and the landlord replied in the affirmative, telling them at the same
+time, that his house afforded as good conveniences and entertainment as
+could be found in the whole city of Saragossa. They alighted
+accordingly, and Sancho carried his bags into an apartment, of which the
+innkeeper gave him the key; then he led the cattle to the stable, where
+he gave them their allowance; from thence he went to receive the
+commands of his master, who had sat down upon a bench, and thanked
+Heaven, in a particular manner, that Don Quixote had not committed his
+usual mistake. They retired to their chamber, and supper-time
+approaching, Sancho desired to know what they could have for that meal.
+To this interrogation mine host replied, that his taste should be fitted
+to a hair, and that he might bespeak what he liked best; for, as far as
+the birds of the air, the fowls of the land, and the fish of the sea
+could go, he would find the house provided. ‘Less than all that will
+serve,’ answered Sancho: ‘we shall be satisfied with a couple of
+chickens roasted; for my master has a very delicate taste, and eats but
+little; and as for myself, I am not a very unconscionable cormorant.’
+
+The other frankly owned he had no chickens; for the kites had destroyed
+the whole brood. ‘Well, then, Mr. Landlord,’ said the squire, ‘you may
+order a pullet to be put to the fire; but see it be very tender.’—‘A
+pullet!’ cried the innkeeper; ‘body o’ my father! now, as I’m an honest
+man, I sent above half a hundred yesterday to market; but setting aside
+pullets, you may have what you will.’—‘If that be the case,’ said
+Sancho, there will be no want of veal or kid.’—‘At present,’ replied the
+innkeeper, ‘there is really none in the house; we are just out of these
+articles; but next week she shall have enough and to spare.’—‘To be
+sure, we shall be much the better for that!’ answered Sancho; ‘I’ll lay
+a wager all these wants will be supplied with plenty of eggs and
+bacon.’—‘’Fore God!’ said the host, ‘my guest has an admirable knack at
+guessing; I have told him there is neither hen nor pullet in the house,
+and he would have me treat him with eggs[201]! Shift about, if you
+please, to some other delicacies, and think no more of poultry.’
+
+‘Body o’ me!’ cried Sancho, ‘let us come to some resolution; tell me at
+once what is in the house, and pray, Mr. Landlord, no more of your
+shiftings.’—‘What I really and truly can afford,’ said the innkeeper,
+‘is a dish of cow-heel, so delicate they might be taken for calves-feet;
+or you may call them calves-feet, that might pass for cow-heel. They are
+stewed with pease, onions, and bacon, and this blessed minute cry—“Come,
+eat me; come, eat me.”’—‘I mark them for my own,’ cried Sancho, ‘from
+henceforth for ever, amen. Let no man touch the mess, for which I will
+pay you handsomely; for nothing in the whole world could be more
+agreeable to my taste; and, provided I have cow-heel, the calves-feet
+may go to the devil.’—‘No man shall interfere with you,’ replied the
+landlord; ‘as for the other company in the house, they, out of pure
+gentility, bring along with them their own cook, butler and sumpter
+mule.’—‘Nay, as for gentility,’ said the squire, ‘no man has more of
+that than my master; but his profession will not admit of travelling
+stores and butteries: lack-a-day! we lay ourselves down in the middle of
+a green field, and fill our bellies with medlars and acorns.’ Such was
+the conversation that passed between the innkeeper and Sancho; who would
+not, however, go any greater lengths in satisfying the curiosity of mine
+host, who was very desirous to know the office or profession of his
+master.
+
+Supper being ready, Don Quixote retired to his apartment, whither the
+landlord brought the pot just as it was, and very decently sat down to
+partake of the meal. At that instant, the knight heard people talking in
+the next room, from which he was divided only by a partition of lath,
+and could plainly distinguish these words: ‘As you hope to live, Don
+Geronimo, I conjure you, as supper is not yet ready, to read another
+chapter of the second part of Don Quixote de La Mancha.’
+
+The knight, hearing his own name mentioned, started up immediately, and
+listening with great attention, heard Geronimo reply to this effect:
+‘What pleasure can you have in reading such absurdities, Don John? No
+person who has seen the first part of the history of Don Quixote de La
+Mancha, can possibly be entertained with this which is called the
+second.’—‘Nevertheless,’ said Don John, ‘it will not be amiss to read a
+little; for there is no book so bad as to contain nothing that deserves
+regard. What displeases me most in this performance is, the author’s
+describing Don Quixote as altogether disengaged and detached from
+Dulcinea del Toboso.’
+
+The knight, hearing this remark, was filled with rage and vexation, and
+exclaimed aloud, ‘If any person whatever affirms that Don Quixote de La
+Mancha either has forgotten or can forget Dulcinea del Toboso, I will,
+with equal arms, make him know and own, that his affection is far
+distant from the truth; for the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso cannot
+possibly be forgot; nor is Don Quixote susceptible of forgetfulness: his
+motto is Constancy, which he professes to maintain with gentleness and
+suavity of manners.’—‘Who is he that answers?’ cried the voice. ‘Who
+should it be,’ replied Sancho, ‘but Don Quixote de La Mancha, in his own
+person, who will make good whatever he has said, and whatever he shall
+say; for, “A good paymaster wants no pawn.”’
+
+Scarce had the squire pronounced these words, when two gentlemen, for
+such they appeared, entered the apartment; and one of them throwing his
+arms about Don Quixote’s neck, ‘Your appearance,’ said he, ‘does not
+belye your name, and your name cannot but give credit to your
+appearance. Without all doubt, you, Signior, are the true Don Quixote de
+La Mancha, the north-star and luminary of knight errantry, maugre and in
+despite of him who has thought proper to usurp your name, and annihilate
+your exploits; I mean, the author of this here book:’ which he took from
+his companion, and put into the hand of Don Quixote; who, without
+answering one word, began to turn over the leaves, and in a very little
+time gave it back to the stranger, saying—‘In the little I have read, I
+find three things worthy of reprehension in the author; first, some
+expressions in the prologue or preface; secondly, his using the
+Arragonian dialect, and writing sometimes without articles; and thirdly,
+that which confirms my opinion of his ignorance, his erring and
+deviating from the truth in the most material circumstances of the
+history; for he says, the wife of my squire Sancho Panza, is called Mary
+Gutierrez, whereas her name is Teresa Panza; now, if he blunders in such
+an essential circumstance, we may justly conclude that his whole history
+is full of mistakes[202].’
+
+‘A pleasant historian, i’faith!’ cried Sancho: ‘he must be well
+acquainted with our adventures, to be sure, when he calls my dame Teresa
+by the name of Mary Gutierrez! Take the book again, Signior, and see if
+he has lugged me in, too, under a borrowed name!’—‘From what you have
+said, friend,’ replied Don Geronimo, ‘I find you must certainly be
+Sancho Panza, squire to Signior Don Quixote.’—‘Even so,’ answered the
+squire; ‘and I am proud of the occupation.’—‘Then, in good sooth!’ said
+the cavalier, ‘this author has not treated you so handsomely as from
+your appearance I conclude you deserve; he represents you as a
+gormandizer, a simpleton without the least vein of humour or pleasantry;
+and, in short, quite different from the Sancho described in the first
+part of the history of your master!’—‘The Lord in heaven forgive him!’
+cried Sancho: ‘he might have let me sleep in my corner, without
+remembering there was such a sinner as me upon the face of the earth:
+for, “He that has skill should handle the quill[203];” and I know that
+St. Peter is well at Rome.’
+
+The two gentlemen invited Don Quixote to sup with them in their
+apartment, as they knew the inn could not afford any thing proper for
+his entertainment; and the knight, who was always the pink of courtesy,
+complied with their request; so that Sancho remained undisputed master
+of the pot. _Cum mero mixto imperio_, he seated himself at the head of
+the table, in company with the landlord, who vied with him in affection
+for the cow-heel and calves-feet.
+
+Don John, in the course of the conversation at supper, asked what news
+Don Quixote had concerning the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso; he begged to
+know if she was married, brought to-bed, or in a state of pregnancy; or,
+if still single, she, as far as modesty and decorum would permit, smiled
+upon the passion of her lover Don Quixote. ‘Dulcinea,’ answered the
+knight, ‘is still unmarried, and my passion more intense than ever: our
+correspondence stands on the old footing, and her beauty is transformed
+into the appearance of a base-born, rustick wench.’
+
+Then he, in a very circumstantial manner, related the inchantment of his
+mistress, together with his adventure in the cave of Montesinos, and the
+means prescribed by the sage Merlin for her relief; namely, the
+flagellation of Sancho.
+
+Unspeakable was the satisfaction which the two cavaliers enjoyed in
+hearing Don Quixote recount the strange incidents of his history; and
+they were equally astonished at the folly of his adventures and the
+elegance with which he related them: here they esteemed him as a man of
+sound understanding; and there he slipped through their opinion into the
+sink of madness; so that they could not determine what rank he should
+maintain between lunacy and discretion.
+
+Meanwhile, Sancho having finished his meal, left his landlord more than
+half seas over; and entering the chamber where his master sat,
+‘Gentlemen,’ said he, ‘I’ll be hanged if the author of that book your
+worships were talking of, has any mind or inclination that he and I
+should be messmates. Since he has given me the character of a glutton,
+as your worships have observed, I wish he may not have likewise called
+me a drunkard.’—‘He has indeed,’ replied Don Geronimo: ‘but I do not
+remember the expression, though I know the words are very scurrilous and
+false above measure, as I can plainly perceive in the physiognomy of
+honest Sancho here present.’—‘Take my word for it, noble gentlemen,’
+said the squire, ‘the Sancho and Don Quixote of that history must be
+persons quite different from those recorded by Cid Hamet Benengeli, who
+are no other than we ourselves, here standing and sitting in your
+presence: my master, valiant, sagacious, and enamoured; and I simple,
+and withal pleasant, but neither sot nor gormandizer.’—‘I believe what
+you say,’ replied Don John: ‘and wish it were possible to obtain a
+mandate, prohibiting any person or persons from presuming to meddle with
+the affairs of the great Don Quixote, excepting Hamet, his original
+author; in the same manner as Alexander the Great decreed that no
+painter but Apelles should draw his portrait.’—‘Any body may draw my
+portrait,’ said the knight; ‘but let no man maltreat my character; for
+patience often falls to the ground, when it is overloaded with
+injuries.’—‘No injury can be done to Don Quixote, but what he can easily
+revenge,’ answered Don John: ‘unless he chuse rather to ward it off with
+the buckler of his patience, which, I believe, is both strong and
+ample.’
+
+In this and other such conversation they spent great part of the night;
+and although Don John would fain have persuaded Don Quixote to read a
+little more of the book, that they might hear him descant upon
+particulars, he could not accomplish his purpose; the knight assuring
+him he considered it as good as read, and pronounced the whole an heap
+of absurdities; nor did he chuse that the author, who might perhaps hear
+it was in his hands, should have the satisfaction of thinking he had
+perused his performance; for, from objects of obscenity and turpitude,
+not only the eyes but even the imagination ought to be kept sacred. When
+they asked, whither his course was at present directed, he told them he
+was bound for Saragossa, in order to signalize himself in the
+prize-jousts which are yearly solemnized in that city.
+
+Then Don John gave him to understand that the new history gives an
+account of the spurious Don Quixote’s having been in that place at a
+course, the description of which was barren of invention, low in stile,
+miserably poor in devices, and rich in nothing but folly and
+impertinence.—‘For that very reason,’ said Don Quixote, ‘I will not set
+foot in Saragossa, and so demonstrate to the wide world, the falshood of
+this modern historian, and let the nations see I am not the Don Quixote
+whom he has described.’—‘I applaud your resolution,’ replied Don
+Geronimo; ‘and there will be a tournament in Barcelona, where Don
+Quixote will have an opportunity to signalize his valour.’—‘And that I
+shall surely embrace,’ answered the knight: ‘at present, gentlemen, as
+it is high time, you will give me leave to retire to bed; and I beg you
+will esteem and place me among the number of your most sincere friends
+and humble servants.’—‘And me also,’ said Sancho: ‘peradventure my
+service may be good for something.’ They accordingly took their leave,
+and retired to their apartment, leaving Don John and his companion
+astonished at the medley of sense and madness they had observed in his
+discourse: they believed, without hesitation, these to be the real Don
+Quixote and Sancho, and not the persons described by the Arragonian
+author.
+
+Don Quixote rising early next morning, tapped at the partition, and bade
+farewel to his entertainers: and Sancho paid his reckoning like a
+prince; advising the landlord, however, either to furnish his house
+better, or to brag less of his accommodations.
+
+Footnote 201:
+
+ Why might not this innkeeper have had eggs in his house, as he had
+ sent no less than fifty pullets to market the very day before?
+
+Footnote 202:
+
+ I am apt to believe that this remark was intended as an ironical
+ sarcasm on the trivial observations of hypercriticks: for we cannot
+ suppose Cervantes did not know, by this time, that he himself had more
+ than once, in the first part of this history, actually called Sancho’s
+ wife by the name of Mary Gutierrez; an oversight which I have taken
+ notice of in the proper place.
+
+Footnote 203:
+
+ The proverb in the original, alludes to a kind of tabor: as if one
+ should say, ‘He alone should attempt to play, who knows how to beat
+ the tabor.’
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. VIII.
+ OF WHAT BEFEL DON QUIXOTE IN HIS WAY TO BARCELONA.
+
+
+The morning was cold, and seemed to promise but little less for the day
+on which Don Quixote departed from the inn, after having informed
+himself of the nearest road to Barcelona which he could travel without
+touching at Saragossa; so eager he was to fix the lye upon the new
+historian by whom they said he was so scurvily treated.
+
+So it happened that he met with nothing worthy of record within six
+days; at the end of which, having quitted the high road, he was
+benighted among a thick cluster of oak or cork-trees; for, in this
+particular, Cid Hamet has not preserved his usual punctuality. The
+master and man alighting from their beasts, and accommodating themselves
+at the roots of two separate trees, Sancho, who had laid in a good
+afternoon’s luncheon, entered the gates of sleep abruptly, and without
+hesitation; whereas the knight, who was kept awake more by fancy than by
+hunger, could not close an eye; but, on the contrary, rambled in his
+imagination through a thousand different scenes. Sometimes he conceived
+himself to be in the cave of Montesinos; sometimes he thought he saw
+Dulcinea skipping and leaping upon her ass, in that dismal state of
+rustick transformation; and then his ears seemed to tingle with the
+words of the sage Merlin, who pronounced the conditions and endeavours
+to be observed and exerted for the disinchantment of his mistress. He
+was driven almost to desperation, when he reflected on the sloth and
+uncharitable disposition of his squire Sancho, who, to the best of his
+belief, had hitherto given himself only five stripes; a number poor and
+inconsiderable in comparison with the infinite score unpaid: and this
+consideration overwhelmed him with such anxiety and chagrin, that he
+thus argued with his own bosom.
+
+‘If Alexander the Great ventured to cut the Gordian knot, on the
+supposition that cutting would be as effectual as untying it; and
+notwithstanding this violence, became sole master of all Asia, the same
+success may now attend my efforts in disinchanting Dulcinea, should I
+scourge Sancho against his own consent; for if the condition of this
+remedy be, that Sancho shall receive three thousand three hundred
+stripes, what signifies it to me whether they are bestowed by his own
+hand, or that of some other person, seeing the essential point is in his
+receiving them, from what quarter soever they may come?’
+
+[Illustration: Don Quixote Attempts to Scourge Sancho Panza.]
+
+Inspired with this notion, he took the reins of Rozinante’s bridle,
+which he formed into an instrument of flagellation; and, approaching the
+sleeping squire, began to untruss his points: indeed, it is the general
+opinion, that he had but one before which kept up his breeches. But
+scarce had he began to perform this operation, when Sancho, shaking off
+the fetters of slumber at one start, exclaimed aloud, ‘What’s the
+matter? Who the devil is that so busy untrussing me while I’m
+asleep?’—‘It is I,’ answered the knight, ‘who mean to atone for thy
+omissions, and remedy my own misfortunes. I come to scourge thee,
+Sancho, and discharge some part of the debt which thou art obligated to
+pay. Dulcinea pines in a state of transformation; and, while thou livest
+at thine heart’s ease, I am dying with desire: untie these points,
+therefore, of thy own free-will; for mine, I assure thee, is to afflict
+thy posteriors with two thousand stripes at least, before we quit this
+unfrequented place.’—‘By no manner of means!’ cried Sancho; ‘I advise
+your worship to be quiet, or, by the God of Israel! the deaf shall hear
+us: the stripes I have obliged myself to receive, must be given with my
+own free-will and consent, not by force or compulsion; and, at present,
+I have not the least inclination to discipline my own flesh: let it
+suffice, I give your worship my word and honour, that I will flog and
+fly-flap my carcase as soon as ever I find myself disposed for such
+exercise.’—‘I must not leave it to thy courtesy,’ replied the knight;
+‘for thou hast a stony heart, and though a peasant, art very tender of
+thy flesh.’ He accordingly struggled with all his might to unbreech the
+squire; who, finding the affair become very serious, started up from the
+ground, sprung upon his master, and closing with him in a trice, tripped
+up his heels, so that the knight came instantly to the ground, where he
+lay with his face uppermost: then the victor, clapping his right knee to
+the breast of the vanquished party, and griping him fast by both wrists,
+hampered him in such a manner, that he could scarce either breathe or
+move. Nevertheless he made shift to pronounce these words: ‘How now,
+traitor! dost thou presume to rebel against thy master and natural lord,
+whose bread thou hast eaten?’—‘I neither exalt kings nor dethrone them,’
+answered Sancho; ‘but, being my own master, I stand up in my own
+defence: if your worship will promise to be quiet, and think no more of
+scourging me for the present, I will forthwith free and disencumber you
+from these bonds: otherwise, here thou shalt die, traitor and enemy to
+Donna Sancha.’
+
+The knight subscribed to the conditions, swearing by the life of his
+inclinations, that he would not touch the nap of his garment, but leave
+him at full liberty to begin the flagellation when he himself should
+think proper. On these considerations Sancho arose, and went aside a
+good away to another tree, at whose root he resolved to take his lodging
+for the remaining part of the night. There he felt something bob against
+his head, and putting up his hand, found two legs provided with shoes
+and stockings: trembling with affright, he moved with great expedition
+to another tree, where he met with the same salutation, which increased
+his terror to such a pitch, that he roared aloud for assistance. His
+master hearing this exclamation, ran towards the place, and enquired
+into the cause of his fear and confusion; when the squire gave him to
+understand that all these trees were loaded with human legs and feet.
+The knight reaching up his hand, immediately conceived the meaning of
+this strange circumstance, and said to Sancho, ‘Thou needest not be
+afraid, for those legs and feet which thou hast felt without seeing,
+certainly belong to some robbers and outlaws who are hanged upon the
+trees; for, when they are apprehended in this place, the officers of
+justice string them up by twenties and thirties; and from this
+particular, I am convinced that we must now be near Barcelona.’ And,
+indeed, his conjecture was right. Soon as objects were rendered visible
+by the dawn, they lifted up their eyes, and saw that the clusters
+depending from the trees were no other than the bodies of banditti. The
+morning forthwith ushered in the day; and if they were scared by the
+dead, they were no less aghast when they found themselves all of a
+sudden surrounded by above forty living robbers, who called to them in
+the Catalonian language to be quiet, and stand still until their captain
+should arrive.
+
+Don Quixote being a-foot, his horse unbridled, his lance leaning against
+a tree, and, in short, his person without any means of defence, he
+thought proper to cross his arms upon his breast, and hung his head,
+reserving himself for a better season and more happy conjuncture.
+Meanwhile, the robbers made such dispatch in plundering Dapple, that in
+the twinkling of an eye there was not the least crumb left in the wallet
+and pillion; and lucky it was for Sancho that he had secured, in a
+concealed girdle, the duke’s crowns and the money he had brought from
+home; nay, notwithstanding this precaution, those honest gentlemen would
+have searched and rummaged him in such a manner as to have found the
+cash, even though it had been hidden between the flesh and the skin, had
+not they been interrupted by the seasonable arrival of their captain,
+who seemed to be about four and thirty years of age, of a robust make,
+middling stature, grave countenance, and brown complexion; he rode a
+strong horse, was provided with a coat of mail, and he had slung a pair
+of pistols with firelocks at each side of him. Seeing his squires (for
+so they call the gentlemen of that profession) very busy in rifling
+Sancho Panza, he ordered them to desist; and, as they immediately obeyed
+his command, the girdle happily escaped. Surprized to see a lance
+leaning against a tree, a shield lying on the ground, and Don Quixote
+armed at all points and in manifest despondence, exhibiting the most
+rueful and melancholy figure that Melancholy herself could have formed,
+he approached the knight, saying, ‘Be not so dejected, honest friend;
+you have not fallen into the hands of a cruel Osiris, but of those of
+Roque Guinart, who has more of compassion than cruelty in his
+disposition.’
+
+‘My dejection,’ answered the knight, ‘does not proceed from my having
+fallen under thy power, O valiant Roque, whose fame the limits of this
+earth cannot confine; but from the consciousness of my own neglect, in
+consequence of which thy soldiers found me unprepared: whereas I am
+bound by the order of chivalry, which I profess, to be always alert and
+vigilant, and to stand as it were at all times sentry upon myself; and
+give me leave to tell thee, O renowned Roque! they would not have found
+it such an easy task to subdue me, had I been on horseback, armed with
+my lance and shield: for know, I am Don Quixote de La Mancha, whose
+exploits are celebrated through this whole terraqueous globe.’
+
+Roque Guinart immediately perceived that the knight’s infirmity partook
+more of madness than of valour; and although he had frequently heard him
+named, he looked upon his atchievements as altogether fabulous, and
+could not believe that such a humour did ever prevail in the heart of
+man: he was therefore extremely well pleased with this encounter, that
+he might with his own eyes see immediately before him what he had heard
+reported afar off. ‘Valiant knight,’ said he, ‘do not vex yourself, or
+consider your present situation in the light of a misfortune; perhaps,
+by stumbling in this manner your crooked fate may be made straight; for
+Heaven, by strange unforeseen windings, which mankind cannot comprehend,
+is wont to raise the fallen, and enrich the needy.’
+
+Don Quixote’s mouth was already open to thank him for his courteous
+behaviour, when they heard behind them a noise like that of a whole
+troop of horse, though there was only one, upon which came at full speed
+a youth who seemed to be about the age of twenty, dressed in green
+damask laced with gold, long breeches, a loose coat, a hat cocked in the
+Walloon fashion, with strait waxed boots and spurs; armed with a gold
+hilted sword and dagger, a small fusil in his hand, and a case of
+pistols by his side.
+
+Roque hearing the noise, turned about, and was surprized with the sight
+of this handsome figure, who accosted him in these terms: ‘In search of
+thee, courageous Roque! I came hither, hoping by thy means to find, if
+not a remedy, at least an alleviation, of my misfortune: and, to keep
+thee no longer in suspense, as I am certain you never saw me before,
+know that I am Claudia Geronima, daughter of Simon Forte, who is thy
+intimate friend, as well as the particular enemy of Clauquel Torellas,
+thy inveterate foe, as being head of the party which thou hast always
+opposed. This Torellas, thou knowest, has a son called Don Vincente
+Torrellas, at least he was, two hours ago, distinguished by that name. I
+will be as brief as possible in the account of my disaster, and explain
+the occasion of it in a few words. That youth happened to see me, and
+courted my good graces; I listened to his addresses, and gave him my
+heart, without the knowledge of my father; for there is no woman
+whatsoever so retired and mewed up, but she will find a time to execute
+and gratify her irresistible desires. In a word, he promised to be my
+husband, I consented to become his wife, and this was the farthest
+extent of our correspondence. Yesterday I was informed, that, forgetting
+this obligation, he intended to marry another woman, and that this
+morning he had set out to celebrate his nuptials. My brain was
+disturbed, and my indignation arrouzed to such a degree by these fatal
+tidings, that, taking the advantage of my father’s absence, I disguised
+myself in this apparel, pursued a-horseback my perfidious lover, whom,
+having overtaken about a league from this place, I, without staying to
+make complaints, or hear apologies, discharged upon him this fusil and
+these two pistols; so that, I believe, he has more than a brace of
+bullets in his body: thus I opened a gate through which my honour,
+though bathed in his blood, may escape, and left him in the hands of his
+servants, who neither could nor presumed to exert themselves in his
+defence. Thence I came in quest of thee, to beg that thou wilt conduct
+me safely to France, where I have relations; and, at the same time,
+promise to defend my father from the numerous kindred of Don Vincente,
+who may otherwise sacrifice him to their insatiable revenge.’
+
+Roque was struck with admiration at the gallantry, gay appearance,
+genteel mien, and adventure of the beauteous Claudia, to whom he
+replied, ‘Come, Madam, let us first see whether or not your enemy is
+actually dead, and then we will consider about the most proper measures
+to be taken in your behalf.’ Here Don Quixote, who had listened with
+great attention to Claudia’s address, and Roque’s reply, interposing in
+the conversation, exclaimed, ‘No man has any occasion to give himself
+the least trouble about the defence of this lady, which I take upon my
+own shoulders. Give me my horse and my arms, and stay where you are; I
+will go in quest of the gentleman, and dead or alive compel him to
+perform the promise he hath made to so much beauty.’—‘Who doubts that!’
+cried Sancho; ‘adad! my master has an excellent hand at match-making; a
+few days ago, he compelled another person who likewise refused to keep
+his word with a young woman; and if those plaguy inchanters who
+persecute him so much, had not transmographied the gallant into a
+lacquey, that very hour, She that was a maid before, would have been a
+maid no more[204].’
+
+Roque, whose attention was engrossed by the adventure of the beautiful
+Claudia, paid very little regard to what was said either by the master
+or the man; but, ordering his squires to restore the spoils of Dapple to
+Sancho, and retire to the place appointed for their quarters that night,
+he set out with Claudia, in great haste, to reconnoitre the situation of
+the dead or wounded Don Vincente. When they arrived at the spot where he
+had been overtaken by the young lady, they found nothing but some recent
+blood; but, casting their eyes around, they discovered some people on
+the side of a hill, and conjectured they could be no other than the
+servants of Don Vincente carrying their master to a proper place, where
+he might be cured, if alive, or buried, if dead. Their supposition was
+just; and spurring up their horses, they soon overtook the unhappy
+cavalier, whom they found in the arms of his attendants, whom he
+entreated, with a faint and languid voice, to let him die where he was;
+for the pain of his wounds would not suffer him to proceed farther. Then
+Claudia and Roque approached him, to the great terror of his servants,
+who stood aghast at sight of this famous free-booter; but Claudia was
+greatly disturbed at the melancholy situation of Don Vincente; and
+agitated by the conflicting passions of tenderness and resentment, took
+him by the hand, saying, ‘Hadst thou given me this of thy own accord,
+conformable to the mutual promise subsisting between us, thou wouldst
+never have been in this condition.’
+
+The wounded cavalier opened his eyes, which were almost shut for ever,
+and recognizing Claudia, ‘I plainly perceive,’ said he, ‘most beautiful
+and misled young lady, that I owe my death to your hand; a punishment
+altogether unmerited and unsuited to my inclinations, which, as well as
+my conduct, were, in regard to your person, altogether void of
+offence.’—‘What!’ cried Claudia, ‘is it not true, that you, this
+morning, intended to marry Leonora, daughter of the rich
+Balvastro?’—‘No, surely,’ replied Don Vincente; ‘my evil genius must
+have alarmed you with such information, that, your jealousy being
+inflamed, you might deprive me of life, which, as I leave it in your
+arms, and your embrace, I consider as happily lost; and, that you may be
+convinced of my sincerity, give me your hand, and, if you please,
+receive me for your husband, this being the only satisfaction I can make
+for the offence I was supposed to have given.’ Accordingly, Claudia and
+he joined hands and hearts together, in such a manner that she fainted
+away upon his bloody breast, and he sunk into a mortal paroxism.
+
+Roque being confounded and perplexed, the servants ran for water which
+they sprinkled upon their faces, and Claudia recovered from her swoon;
+but this was not the case with her unhappy lover, who had already
+breathed his last. The young lady, perceiving her beloved husband was no
+more, rent the air with her groans, wounded the heavens with her
+lamentation, tore her locks and scattered them to the winds, and
+disfigured her face with her own nails, exhibiting all the marks of the
+most severe grief that ever took possession of an afflicted bosom. ‘O
+cruel and inconsiderate woman!’ she cried; ‘how easily wast thou
+provoked to execute such dire revenge! O furious jealousy! to what dire
+despair dost thou conduct all those who give thee harbour in their
+breasts! O my dear husband! whose unhappy fate, in being mine, hath made
+thy marriage-bed thy grave!’
+
+Such were the melancholy exclamations of Claudia, which brought water
+into the eyes of Roque, who had seldom or never shed tears before; their
+servants wept bitterly; the young lady swooned almost at every step, and
+this whole circuit seemed to be the scene of sorrow, and field of
+misfortune. At length Roque Guinart ordered the servants to carry their
+master’s body to his father’s country-seat, which was hard by, that it
+might be buried according to the old gentleman’s directions; and Claudia
+expressed her desire of retiring to a certain monastery, the abbess of
+which was her aunt, where she intended to finish her life, in company of
+a better and more eternal husband. Roque applauded her design, and
+offered to conduct her to the place, promising, at the same time, to
+defend her father from the kindred of Don Vincente, and all the world,
+should they conspire against his peace. She would by no means avail
+herself of his attendance; but, thanking him for his obliging offers in
+the most courteous terms she could use, took her leave of him, shedding
+a torrent of tears: the servants of Don Vincente carried off the body,
+Roque returned to his gang, and thus ended the amour of Claudia
+Geronima; a catastrophe not to be wondered at, when we consider that the
+web of her melancholy fate was woven by the baleful and invincible force
+of jealousy.
+
+Roque Guinart found his squires in the place where he had ordered them
+to take up their night’s lodging, and in the midst of them Don Quixote
+upon Rozinante, exhorting them in a long harangue, to quit that way of
+life, so dangerous both to soul and body; but as the greatest part of
+them were Gascons, a brutal and disorderly sort of people, the knight’s
+arguments made but little impression. The chief arriving, asked Sancho
+Panza if the men had restored the furniture and effects they had taken
+from Dapple; and the squire replied in the affirmative, excepting,
+however, three night-caps worth as many royal cities. ‘What the devil
+does the fellow say!’ cried one of the gang; ‘here they are, and any
+body may see they would not sell for three rials.’
+
+‘True,’ said Don Quixote; ‘but my squire values them at that rate, on
+account of the person of whom I received them in a present.’ Roque
+commanded the man to restore them instantly; then, forming his people
+into a line, gave orders for bringing before them all the cloaths,
+jewels, money, and every thing they had acquired by robbery since the
+last partition; then, making a short valuation, and reducing the
+indivisibles into cash, he shared the whole among his company, with such
+equity and discretion, that in the most minute article, he neither
+exceeded nor fell short of distributive justice.
+
+Having made this partition, with which every individual was perfectly
+well satisfied and contented, Roque turning to Don Quixote, ‘If we did
+not observe this punctuality,’ said he, ‘there would be no living among
+such a crew.’ To this declaration Sancho replied, ‘From what I have
+seen, I find justice so excellent in itself, that the practice of it is
+necessary even among thieves.’
+
+One of the squires overhearing the remark, lifted up the butt-end of his
+musket, with which, in all probability, he would have shattered Sancho’s
+scull, had not the general commanded him to desist; while Panza,
+trembling in every limb, resolved never to open his lips again so long
+as he should sojourn among such ruffians.
+
+About this time arrived one of the gang, who was placed centinel on the
+road to reconnoitre travellers, and bring intelligence; and riding up to
+their chief, ‘Signior,’ said he, ‘not far from hence, there is a large
+company of people travelling to Barcelona.’—‘Have you perceived,’
+answered Roque, ‘whether they are such as we seek, or such as are in
+quest of us.’ When the squire replied that they were such as he sought;
+‘Set out, then, all together,’ said he, ‘and bring the whole company
+hither, without suffering one to escape.’
+
+This whole gang departed accordingly, leaving their chief alone with Don
+Quixote and Sancho, to wait the issue of their expedition; and during
+this interval, Roque addressing himself to the knight, ‘This life of
+ours,’ said he, ‘must appear very strange to Don Quixote, exposed as it
+is to infinite adventures and incidents replete with danger; and,
+indeed, I do not wonder that it should appear in that light; for I must
+know there can be no situation so full of terror and disquiet as that in
+which I live, and into which I was misled by the desire of revenge,
+which is often powerful enough to disturb the most philosophick breast.
+I am naturally benevolent and compassionate; but, as I have already
+observed, the desire of revenging an injury which I received, hath
+overturned all my virtuous inclinations in such a manner, that I
+persevere in this career, maugre and in despite of my own understanding;
+and, as deep calleth unto deep, and sin unto sin, different schemes of
+revenge are so linked together, that I undertake not only my own, but
+also those of other people; yet, by the blessing of God, although I find
+myself thus involved in a labyrinth of confusion, I have not lost the
+hope of being, one day, happily extricated from all my troubles.’
+
+Don Quixote was surprized to hear Roque talk so sensibly and with such
+moderation; for he imagined, that among those who were in the daily
+practice of assaulting, robbing, and murdering their fellow-creatures,
+there could not surely be one single person of sense and reflection.
+‘Signior Roque,’ said he, ‘the beginning of health is the knowledge of
+the disease, and the patient’s desire to comply with the physician’s
+prescription. You are now in the diseased condition, sensible of your
+infirmity, and Heaven, or rather God himself, who is the great
+physician, will apply those medicines which are proper for the cure of
+your distemper; but these remedies are wont to operate slowly, not in a
+sudden miraculous manner; and sensible sinners are much more likely to
+recover, than delinquents of little understanding. Now, as your
+discourse evinces your discretion, be of good chear, and courageously
+wait for the perfect recovery of your conscience. If you are in earnest
+inclined to quit this road, and enter at once into that which leads to
+salvation, come along with me and learn to be a knight-errant, in which
+capacity you will undergo such toils and disasters as will be deemed
+sufficient penance, and exalt you to Heaven in the turning of two
+balls.’
+
+Roque could not help smiling at Don Quixote’s advice; but changing the
+conversation, he recounted the tragical adventure of Claudia Geronima,
+at which Sancho was exceedingly grieved; for he had been hugely pleased
+with the beauty, vivacity, and demeanor of the young lady.
+
+About this time they were joined by the squires of the booty, who
+brought along with them two gentlemen on horseback, two pilgrims on
+foot, and a coach full of women, attended by six servants, partly
+mounted, and partly footmen, together with two muleteers, who waited
+upon the gentlemen. These came all in a troop surrounded by the squires,
+and universal silence prevailed among the victors and the vanquished;
+both sides expecting, with resignation, the commands of the great Roque
+Guinart, who, approaching the gentlemen, asked who they were, whither
+they were going, and what money they had.
+
+To these interrogations one of them replied, ‘Signior, we are captains
+of the Spanish infantry, our companies are in Naples; our intention is
+to embark on board of four gallies, which, they say, are now in the
+harbour of Barcelona, ready to sail for Sicily; and our funds amount to
+two or three hundred crowns, with the possession of which we thought
+ourselves rich and happy, considering the narrow appointments of a
+soldier, which will not permit him to heap up a great deal of wealth.’
+
+Then Roque putting the same questions to the pilgrims, they answered,
+that their design was to embark for Italy, in order to visit Rome; and
+that, between both, they could muster about sixty rials. He likewise
+desired to know the quality of those who were in the coach, the place to
+which they were going, and the state of their finances. In these
+particulars he was satisfied by one of the horsemen, who said, ‘The
+company in the coach consists of my Lady Donna Guiomar de Quinones, wife
+to the regent of the vicariate of Naples, her little daughter a damsel,
+and a duenna; I am one of the six servants who attend them, and her
+ladyship’s cash may amount to six hundred crowns.’—‘At that rate, then,’
+replied the mighty Roques, ‘here are nine hundred crowns and, sixty
+rials; I have sixty soldiers; see what each man’s share will come to,
+for I am but an indifferent arithmetician.’ The robbers hearing this
+decision, cried aloud, ‘Long life to Roque Guinart, and confusion to the
+knaves who endeavour to effect his ruin!’
+
+The captains exhibited evident marks of affliction, my lady regent
+assumed a very sorrowful countenance, and the pilgrims did not at all
+rejoice at this confiscation of their effects. Although Roque kept them
+for some time in suspense, he had no mind to protract their melancholy,
+which was plainly perceivable a gunshot off; but, turning to the
+captains, ‘Gentlemen,’ said he, ‘be so good as to lend me sixty crowns,
+and my lady regent will favour me with fourscore, in order to satisfy my
+squadron; you know, The abbot must not want, who for his bread doth
+chant; then you may prosecute your journey without fear or molestation,
+by virtue of a safe conduct I will grant; in consequence of which, you
+will be exempted from plunder, in case you should fall in with any other
+of those squadrons which I have posted up and down in different
+divisions; for it is not my intention to aggrieve either soldiers or
+ladies, especially ladies of quality.’
+
+Infinite and well turned were the compliments in which the captains
+acknowledged their obligation to Roque for his politeness and
+liberality, for such they accounted it, in leaving them possessed of
+their own money. My Lady Donna Guiomar de Quinones would have thrown
+herself from the coach, in order to kiss the feet and hands of the great
+Roque; but he would by no means accept such marks of submission: on the
+contrary, he begged pardon for the injury which he was compelled to do
+them, in compliance with the precise duty of his wicked profession. The
+lady ordered her servant to pay instantly the eighty crowns which were
+demanded; the captains had already disbursed threescore; and the
+pilgrims were going to surrender their miserable pittance; when Roque
+desired them to desist, and turning to his gang, ‘Of these crowns,’ said
+he, ‘two shall fall to the share of each man, and then there will be an
+overplus of twenty, one half of which I give to the pilgrims, and the
+other ten to this honest squire, that he may make a favourable report of
+the adventure.’
+
+After this decision, he took pen, ink, and paper, with which he was
+always provided, and writing a safe conduct directed to the chiefs of
+his squadrons, gave it to the company, whom he courteously dismissed,
+and they proceeded on their journey, struck with admiration at his noble
+demeanour, gallant disposition, and strange conduct, looking upon him
+rather as an Alexander the Great, than a notorious robber. One of the
+squires, displeased at the booty, said in his Catalonian dialect, ‘This
+captain of ours is fitter for praying than preying; if henceforth he has
+a mind to shew his generosity, let it be from his own purse, and not
+what is ours by right of conquest.’
+
+The unhappy wretch did not speak so softly, but that he was overheard by
+Roque, who instantly unsheathing his sword, cleft his head almost in
+two, saying, ‘Thus I chastise mutiny and presumption.’ All the rest of
+the gang were terrified at this execution, and not one of them durst
+open his lips, so much were they over-awed by the character of their
+chief.
+
+As for Roque, he went aside and wrote a letter to a friend at Barcelona,
+giving him to understand how he had met with the famous Don Quixote de
+La Mancha, that knight-errant whose exploits were in every body’s mouth;
+and, he assured him, that the adventurer was the most agreeable and
+understanding man in the whole world: he likewise gave him notice, that
+in four days from the date of the letter, on the feast of St. John, the
+said knight-errant would appear on the beach of the city, armed
+cap-a-pee, mounted on Rozinante, and accompanied by his squire Sancho
+upon an ass. He, therefore, desired his correspondent to communicate
+this intelligence to his friends the Nearri, that they might enjoy the
+character of Don Quixote, and wished his enemies the Cadelli might not
+partake of the diversion. But that was a vain desire, because the
+mixture of madness and discretion in the knight, and the pleasantries of
+his squire, were such as could not fail to yield entertainment to the
+whole world in general.
+
+This letter was dispatched by one of his squires; who, disguising
+himself in the habit of a peasant, entered Barcelona, and delivered it
+according to the direction.
+
+Footnote 204:
+
+ This rhime is substituted in lieu of Sancho’s playing on the word
+ _fuera_, in the original.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. IX.
+ OF WHAT HAPPENED TO DON QUIXOTE ON HIS ENTRANCE INTO BARCELONA—WITH
+ OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES THAT PARTAKE MORE OF TRUTH THAN OF DISCRETION.
+
+
+Three days and three nights did Don Quixote remain with Roque, and had
+he staid as many hundred years, he would not have wanted subject for
+enquiry and admiration at their way of life: they lodged in one place,
+dined in another; sometimes they fled from they knew not what, sometimes
+waited for they knew not whom. They slept standing, and even that
+slumber was often interrupted; they shifted from place to place; in a
+word, their whole time was spent in appointing spies, examining
+centinels, and blowing matches for their musquets, though they had but
+few; for they chiefly used firelocks. As for Roque, he passed the night
+by himself, in private haunts and places concealed even from the
+knowledge of his own gang; for the repeated proclamations issued by the
+viceroy of Barcelona, setting a price upon his head, had rendered him
+restless, diffident, and fearful; so that he durst not confide in any
+person whatever, being apprehensive that even his own followers would
+either murder or deliver him up to justice; a life, of all others,
+assuredly the most tiresome and miserable! At length, this renowned
+freebooter, accompanied by Don Quixote and Sancho, and attended by six
+of his own squires, set out for Barcelona, through unfrequented roads,
+short cuts, and private paths, and arrived upon the strand, after it was
+dark, on the eve of St. John.
+
+Here Roque, embracing Don Quixote, and giving to Sancho the ten crowns,
+which, though promised, had not hitherto been paid, took his leave and
+returned to his station, after mutual protestations of friendship had
+passed between him and our hero, who resolved to sit on horseback as he
+was till day, which was not far off. Accordingly, they had not tarried
+long in this situation, when Aurora disclosed her rosy face through the
+balconies of the east, infusing vigour and seeming joy into every plant
+and flower, instead of gratifying the ear, which, however, was also that
+instant regaled with the sound of waits and kettle-drums, together with
+the noise of morrice bells; the clatter of horses upon the pavement, and
+the repetition, of ‘Clear the way!’ pronounced by the couriers who came
+forth from the city. Aurora vanished before the sun; who, with a
+countenance ample as a target, gradually arose from below the horizon;
+then Don Quixote and Sancho, extending their view all around, perceived
+the sea, which they had never before beheld, and which seemed to be
+infinitely vast, and abundantly more spacious than even the lakes of
+Ruydera, which they had seen in La Mancha: they likewise beheld the
+gallies in the road, which, when their awnings were furled, displayed a
+glorious sight of pendants, flags, and streamers, that wantoned in the
+wind, and kissed and brushed the surface of the deep; while they were
+surrounded with clarions, trumpets, and other sorts of musick, which
+filled the air, for many leagues around, with sweet and martial accents.
+Now they began to move, and forming themselves into line of battle,
+exhibited the representation of a naval fight upon the tranquil bosom of
+the sea. At the same time, a mock skirmish was acted on the shore, by a
+great number of gentlemen, mounted on beautiful horses, who came forth
+from the city, in gay attire, with splendid liveries. The soldiers of
+the gallies discharged an infinite number of fire-arms, which were
+answered from the wall and forts of the city; and to the great guns,
+which seemed to rend the air with their tremendous sound, the midship
+cannons of the gallies made a suitable reply; the joy that resounded on
+board, the pleasure that appeared on shore, together with the serenity
+of the air, which was sometimes disturbed by the smoke of the artillery,
+seemed to infuse and engender a sudden flow of spirits and delight in
+every breast. As for Sancho, he could not conceive how those great hulks
+could use such a number of feet in moving through the sea.
+
+About this time, the cavaliers so richly caparisoned, crying, hallooing,
+and shouting, in the Moorish manner, came riding up to the place where
+Don Quixote sat on horseback, overwhelmed with surprize and
+astonishment; and one of their number, who had been apprized by Roque,
+exclaimed in a loud voice, ‘Welcome to our city, thou mirrour; lanthorn,
+planet, and polar star, of all chivalry in its utmost extent! Welcome,
+valorous Don Quixote de La Mancha, not the false, fictitious, and
+apocryphal adventurer, lately in spurious history described; but the
+real, legal, and royal knight recorded by Cid Hamet Benengeli, the
+flower of historians.’
+
+Don Quixote answered not a word; nor did the cavaliers wait for his
+reply; but, with their followers, began to wheel and turn, and curvet in
+a circle round the knight; who, addressing himself to Sancho, ‘As these
+people know us so well,’ said he, ‘I will lay a wager they have read our
+history, and even that of the Arragonian, which hath been lately
+printed.’ The gentleman who had at first accosted him returning, renewed
+his address in these words; ‘Signior Don Quixote, be so good as to go
+along with us, who are all the intimate friends and humble servants of
+Roque Guinart.’ To this entreaty the knight replied, ‘If courtesy
+engenders courtesy, yours, Signior Cavalier, is the daughter, or, at
+least, nearly allied to that which I experienced in the gallant Roque.
+Conduct me whither you please to go; my will shall, in all respects, be
+conformable to yours, and I should be proud if you would employ it in
+your service.’
+
+The gentleman answered this compliment with expressions equally polite;
+and all his companions surrounding the knight in a body, they, to the
+musick of the waits and kettle-drums, conducted him to the city, his
+entrance into which was attended with a small misfortune. That mischief,
+from which all mischief is produced, ordained, that two bold and
+impudent boys, more mischievous than mischief itself, should squeeze
+themselves through the crowd, and approaching Rozinante and Dapple, clap
+a handful of furze under the tail of each: the poor animals, feeling the
+severity of this new kind of spurs, augmented the pain, by pressing
+their tails more closely to their buttocks; so that, after a thousand
+plunges, they came with their riders to the ground, to the unutterable
+shame and indignation of Don Quixote; who, with great dispatch,
+delivered the posteriors of his companion from this disagreeable
+plumage; while Sancho performed the same kind office for his friend
+Dapple.
+
+The gentlemen would have willingly chastised the boys for their
+presumption; but it was not in their power to give the strangers that
+satisfaction; for, they had no sooner executed their purpose, than they
+concealed themselves among the crowd of above a thousand youngsters who
+followed the cavalcade: so that Don Quixote and Sancho were obliged to
+pocket the affront; and remounting their beasts, proceeded with the same
+musick and acclamation to the house of their conductor, which was large
+and magnificent, and in all respects suitable to the rank of an opulent
+cavalier. Here, then, we shall leave him for the present; for such is
+the will of Cid Hamet Benengeli.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. X.
+ CONTAINING THE ADVENTURE OF THE ENCHANTED HEAD—WITH OTHER TRIVIAL
+ INCIDENTS, WHICH, HOWEVER, MUST NOT BE OMITTED.
+
+
+Don Quixote’s landlord was called Don Antonio Moreno, a wealthy
+gentleman of good understanding, who loved a joke in a fair and
+good-humoured way; so that finding our knight safely housed under his
+roof, he began to contrive means for extracting diversion from the
+madness of his guests, without prejudice to his person; for those are no
+jests that give pain; nor is that pastime to be indulged which tends to
+the detriment of a fellow-creature. His first step was to unarm Don
+Quixote, and in that strait shamoy doublet, which we have already
+painted and described, expose him to publick view in a balcony that
+jetted out into one of the chief streets in the city, where he was
+surveyed by the people and the children, who gazed upon him as if he had
+been a monster or baboon. While he stood in this situation, the
+gentlemen with the rich liveries performed their courses before him, as
+if for his sake only, and not in order to celebrate the festival, they
+had provided all their finery; and Sancho was ravished with the thoughts
+of having so luckily found, without knowing how or wherefore, another
+wedding of Camacho, another house like that of Don Diego de Miranda, and
+another place equal to the duke’s castle, where he had been so
+hospitably entertained.
+
+Don Antonio had that day invited some friends to dinner, and all of them
+paid particular respect to Don Quixote, whom they treated as a renowned
+knight-errant, a circumstance that elevated his vanity to such a pitch,
+that he could scarce contain his satisfaction; and Sancho’s conceits
+flowed so fast and humourous, that all the servants of the family, and
+all who heard his sallies, seemed to hang upon his lips. While he waited
+at table, Don Antonio accosting him, ‘Honest Sancho,’ said he, ‘we are
+informed you are such a lover of fowls and balls of forced meat, that,
+when you can eat no longer, you pocket what remains for next day.’—‘No,
+Signior,’ answered Sancho; ‘that is not the case, and your worship must
+have been misinformed; I am a cleanly squire, and no such filthy
+glutton; for my master, here present, knows very well, that we have
+often passed eight whole days, without any other sustenance than an
+handful of nuts or acorns. True it is, If ever the heifer is offered,
+the tether is at hand; my meaning is, I eat what I get, and ride the
+ford as I find it[205]. If, therefore, any person whatever hath said
+that I am an exceeding glutton and foul feeder, your worship may take it
+for granted that he is in a mistake; and I would tell him my mind in
+another manner, if it was not for the respect I bear to the honourable
+beards of this company.’—‘Assuredly,’ said Don Quixote, ‘Sancho’s
+cleanliness, and moderation in eating, might be inscribed and engraved
+on tables of brass, for an everlasting memorial and example to
+succeeding ages. True it is, when very hungry, he may seem to be a
+little voracious; for he eats with precipitation, chewing with both
+sides of his jaws; but cleanliness he punctually maintains; and, while a
+governor, learned to eat so delicately, that he took up grapes, and even
+the grains of a pomegranate, with a fork.’—‘How!’ cried Don Antonio,
+‘hath Sancho been a governor?’—‘Yes, sure,’ replied the squire; ‘and
+that of an island called Barataria, which I governed according to my own
+will and pleasure, for the space of ten days, during which I lost my
+natural rest, and learned to despise all the governments upon earth: I,
+therefore, fled from it as I would fly from the devil, and tumbled into
+a cavern, from whence, though I gave myself up as a dead man, I was
+brought up alive by a perfect miracle.’ Then Don Quixote gave them a
+circumstantial account of Sancho’s government, which afforded
+extraordinary entertainment to the whole audience.
+
+Dinner being ended, and the table uncovered, Don Antonio took our hero
+by the hand, and conducted him into a private apartment, where there was
+no furniture but a table, that seemed to be of jasper, supported by one
+foot of the same substance; and upon this table was placed a bust of
+bronze, from the breast upwards, representing a head of one of the Roman
+emperors. Don Antonio, after having traversed the room with his guest,
+and more than once walked round the table, ‘Signior Don Quixote,’ said
+he, ‘now that I am assured no person overhears us, as nobody listens,
+and the door is bolted, I will impart to your worship one of the rarest
+adventures, or rather one of the greatest rarities, that ever was known;
+on condition, however, that you will deposit the secret in the most
+hidden recess of your heart.’—‘I swear to the condition,’ answered Don
+Quixote: ‘and, for the greater security, will put a tomb-stone over
+whatever you shall communicate; for, know, Signior Don Antonio,’ (by
+this time he had learned his name) ‘your worship is talking to one, who,
+though he has ears to hear, has never a tongue to tattle; so that you
+may securely transfuse the contents of your own breast into mine, and
+take it for granted, you have ingulphed them in the abyss of
+silence.’—‘On the faith of that promise,’ replied Don Antonio, ‘I will
+excite your worship’s admiration with what you shall see and hear; and
+I, myself, will enjoy some alleviation of the pain I have felt from
+having no person to whom I could communicate the secret, which is not to
+be trusted to every body’s discretion.’ Don Quixote waited with
+impatience and surprize to see the result of this preamble; when his
+entertainer, taking him by the hand, made him feel all around the bust,
+the table, and the jasper foot upon which it was supported; then
+accosting him with great solemnity of aspect: ‘This bust, Signior Don
+Quixote,’ said he, ‘was made and contrived by one of the greatest
+inchanters and necromancers that ever the world produced. He was, I
+think, a native of Poland, and disciple of the famous Escotillo[206], of
+whose knowledge such wonders are reported. As he chanced to be in this
+part of the world, I took him into my house, where, in consideration of
+a thousand crowns which I paid, he wrought this head, in which is
+centered the surprizing power and virtue of answering every question
+communicated to its ear. The master performed certain rites, erected
+schemes, consulted the stars, and carefully observed the lucky and
+unlucky minutes, until, at length, he brought it to that perfection
+which we shall perceive to-morrow; for on Fridays it is mute, and this
+being Friday, we must wait till another day: in the mean time, your
+worship may consider and prepare your questions, which I know by
+experience it will truly answer.’ Don Quixote was confounded and
+astonished at this property and virtue of the head, and indeed, almost
+tempted to disbelieve Don Antonio’s account; but, seeing how little time
+was required to make the experiment, he would not mention his
+incredulity; but, in very polite terms, thanked his entertainer for
+having entrusted him with such an important secret. They accordingly
+quitted the apartment, and Don Antonio having locked the door, returned
+to the rest of the company, who were highly entertained with Sancho’s
+recapitulation of many adventures and incidents to which his master had
+been exposed.
+
+The same evening, they persuaded Don Quixote to make a progress along
+the streets with them, not in his armour, but in a loose coat of
+tawny-coloured cloth, which would have made ice itself sweat at that
+season; and, in the mean time, they directed their servants to amuse
+Sancho within doors, that he might not come forth and spoil their
+diversion. The knight was not mounted on Rozinante, but accommodated
+with an ambling mule, gaily caparisoned; and, upon the back of his coat
+or cloak, they, without his knowledge, pinned a parchment inscribed in
+large letters, ‘This is Don Quixote de La Mancha.’ The procession no
+sooner began, than this scroll attracted the eyes of the people; and,
+when they read it aloud, the knight was astonished to find himself
+known, and hear his name repeated by all the spectators. He, therefore,
+turning to Don Antonio, who rode by his side, ‘Great,’ said he, ‘is the
+prerogative that centers in knight-errantry, the professors of which are
+known and celebrated through all the corners of the earth: take notice,
+Signior Don Antonio, how my name is repeated by the very boys who never
+saw me before.’—‘It is even so, Signior Don Quixote,’ replied Antonio;
+‘for, as light cannot be shut up and concealed, so neither can virtue
+remain unknown; and, that which is acquired by the profession of arms,
+shines with superior splendor over all other acquisitions.’
+
+While our knight thus proceeded amidst the acclamation of the crowd, a
+certain Castilian happened to pass, and reading the scroll, exclaimed
+aloud, ‘Now, the devil take thee, Don Quixote de La Mancha! how hast
+thou made shift to come so far without expiring under some of those
+infinite drubbings which thy ribs have received? A madman thou surely
+art: and if the defect of thine understanding affected thyself only, and
+was confined within the gates of thy own madness, the misfortune would
+be the smaller; but thy frenzy is of such a peculiar nature as to turn
+the brains of all those with whom thou hast any commerce or
+communication; witness these gentlemen by whom thou art now accompanied.
+Return to your own house, Mr. Goose-cap, mind your family-concerns; look
+after your wife and children; and discard these vain maggots, which have
+eaten and burrowed into your brain, and skimmed off the very cream of
+your understanding.’—‘Hark ye, brother,’ said Don Antonio, ‘go about
+your business; and do not pretend to offer your advice to those who want
+none of your counsel: Signior Don Quixote de La Mancha is renowned for
+wisdom, and we who accompany him are not so mad as you may imagine.
+Virtue ought to be honoured wheresoever it is found: therefore be gone
+with a vengeance; and seek not to meddle in those affairs with which you
+have no concern.’—‘’Fore God! your worship is in the right,’ replied the
+Castilian: ‘advising that honest man is kicking against the pricks.
+Nevertheless, I am extremely sorry that the good sense, which, they say,
+this madman displays in some things, should be unprofitably wasted
+through the canal of his knight-errantry: and may that vengeance which
+your worship imprecated, overtake me and all my posterity, if, from this
+day forwards, I give advice to any person whatever, asked, or unasked,
+even though I should live to the age of Methusalem!’ So saying, this
+counsellor went away, and the procession went on; but the throng was so
+great, occasioned by the boys and other idle people who pressed in to
+read the scroll, that Don Antonio was fain to take it off, on pretence
+of freeing the knight from some other annoyance.
+
+In the twilight they returned to the house of Don Antonio, where they
+found a ball prepared by his lady, who was a woman of birth, beauty,
+good humour, and discretion; and had invited a number of friends to come
+and honour her guest, and enjoy the strange peculiarities of his
+madness: they accordingly came, and after supper, at which they were
+entertained in a very splendid manner, the ball began about ten o’clock.
+Among the company were two ladies who had a turn for satire, accompanied
+with a great deal of humour; and who, though persons of unblemished
+honour, indulged themselves with uncommon freedom of behaviour, in order
+to keep up the spirit of the diversion, that it might not flag. This
+pair of female wags persisted with incredible eagerness, in dancing with
+Don Quixote, until not only his body, but even his very soul, seemed
+fainting with fatigue; and nothing could be more ludicrous than the
+figure of the knight, so long, so lank, so lean, so yellow, capering
+about in a straight shamoy doublet, with an air unspeakably aukward, and
+legs that were never designed for such exercise. The young ladies
+affected to court his good graces by stealth; and he privately treated
+their advances with disdain, until, finding them become more and more
+pressing, he pronounced aloud, ‘_Fugite partes adversæ!_ disturb not my
+repose, ye unwelcome thoughts! avaunt, ladies, with your unruly desires;
+for she who is queen of mine, the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, will not
+consent that I should surrender or be subject to any other than her
+own!’
+
+[Illustration: Don Quixote Dancing.]
+
+So saying, he sat down upon the floor in the middle of the hall, quite
+exhausted and demolished with the violent exercise he had undergone; so
+that Don Antonio gave orders for his being carried forthwith to bed; and
+the first person who touched him in obedience to this order, was his own
+squire Sancho Panza; who, as he endeavoured to raise him upon his legs,
+could not help reprehending him in these words: ‘What a plague tempted
+your worship to fall a capering? Did you suppose every valiant man was
+as nimble as an harlequin, or that all knights-errant must needs be
+masterly dancers? If that was your opinion, I say you were much
+deceived: for there be men who would rather undertake to slay a giant,
+than to cut a caper. Had it been the shoe-slapping horn-pipe, I could
+have supplied your place; for I slap like a jerfaulcon; but as for your
+figured dances, I know not a stitch of the matter.’ With this address
+Sancho raised a laugh from the assembly, and his master from the floor,
+and carrying the knight to bed, covered him up very warm, that he might
+sweat out the cold caught in dancing.
+
+Next day Don Antonio thought proper to try the experiment of the
+inchanted head, and for this purpose entered the apartment, accompanied
+by Don Quixote, Sancho, a couple of friends, with our hero’s two waggish
+partners, who had staid all night with Antonio’s lady. The door being
+fast bolted, he explained the property of the bust, after having laid
+injunctions on the company to keep the secret, and declared this was the
+day on which he intended to make the first trial of the virtue contained
+in the inchanted head[207]. Indeed, except his two friends, no other
+person knew the mystery; and if they had not been previously informed by
+Don Antonio, they would certainly have shared in the same admiration
+which necessarily seized the rest who were present at the execution of a
+scheme so artfully contrived.
+
+The first who approached the ear of this inchanted head was Don Antonio
+himself, who said in a low voice, but so as to be overheard by all
+present, ‘Tell me, O head, by thy inherent virtue, what are my present
+thoughts?’ To this interrogation the head, without moving its lips,
+replied in a clear and distinct voice, which was heard by the whole
+company, ‘I do not pretend to investigate the thoughts.’ Those who knew
+not the plot were confounded at hearing this answer, as they plainly
+perceived there was not a living soul under the table or in the whole
+apartment to utter this reply. Don Antonio addressing himself again to
+it, asked, ‘How many persons are here in company?’ and was answered in
+the same key, ‘You and your wife[208], two friends of yours, and two of
+her companions, with a famous knight called Don Quixote de La Mancha,
+and his squire Sancho Panza by name.’ Here was fresh amazement! here was
+their hair standing on end with affright; while Don Antonio, stepping
+aside from the table, said, ‘This is enough to convince me that I have
+not been deceived by the person of whom I purchased thee; thou sage,
+speaking, oracular, and admirable head! Let some other person go and
+question it at will.’
+
+As women are usually very curious and impatient, the next who approached
+was one of the two ladies, and her question was this: ‘Tell me, O head,
+what I shall do to be extremely beautiful?’ She received for answer, ‘Be
+extremely virtuous;’ and replied, ‘I ask no more.’ Then her companion
+advanced, saying, ‘I want to know, sagacious head, whether or not I am
+fondly beloved by my husband?’ and she was answered, ‘That you will
+learn by observing his behaviour.’ The married lady retired, observing
+that it required no magick to solve that question; for, in effect, an
+husband’s behaviour to his wife will always declare the state of his
+affection. The third person that approached the table was one of Don
+Antonio’s friends, who asked, ‘What am I?’ and when the voice answered,
+‘Thou knowest best,’ he replied, ‘That is not the purport of my
+question; I desire thou wilt tell me if thou knowest my name?’—‘Yes,’
+said the oracle; ‘I know thou art Don Pedro Noriez.’—‘Then I am
+satisfied,’ answered Don Pedro; ‘for that answer is sufficient to
+convince me, O head, that thou knowest every thing.’ Then he withdrew,
+and was succeeded by the other gentleman; who, advancing to the table,
+‘Tell me, O head,’ said he, ‘the wish of my eldest son?’—‘I have already
+owned that I cannot dive into the thoughts of men,’ said the voice;
+‘nevertheless, I will tell thee, that the wish of thy son is to bury his
+father.’—‘That is indeed his wish,’ replied the cavalier; ‘I see it with
+my eye, I touch it with my finger, and do not chuse to ask another
+question.’ Don Antonio’s lady approached, saying, ‘I know not how to
+interrogate thee, O head; but I should be glad to know if I shall long
+enjoy my good husband?’—‘Yes, you will,’ replied the voice; ‘his healthy
+constitution, and moderate way of life, promise a long succession of
+years and a good old age, of which many men deprive themselves by their
+own intemperance.’
+
+Don Quixote now took his turn, and addressing himself to the bust, ‘Tell
+me then, whatsoever thou art,’ said he, ‘is my account of what befel me
+in the cave of Montesinos really fact, or only the illusion of a dream?
+Will the flagellation of my squire Sancho be certainly accomplished? and
+will the disinchantment of Dulcinea take effect?’—‘With respect to the
+cave,’ replied the oracle, ‘much may be said; the adventure partakes
+both of truth and illusion. The flagellation of Sancho will proceed
+slowly; but Dulcinea will be disinchanted in process of time.’—‘And that
+is all I desire to know,’ cried the knight; ‘for, in the disinchantment
+of Dulcinea, I shall reckon all my wishes at once happily fulfilled.’
+
+The last interrogator was Sancho; who, approaching the table, ‘Pray,
+good Mr. Head,’ said he, ‘shall I peradventure obtain another
+government? shall I ever rise above the humble station of a squire? and
+lastly, shall I ever see again my wife and children?’ To these questions
+he received these answers: ‘If it be thy fate to return to thy own
+house, thou wilt govern thy family, and see thy wife and children; and
+in ceasing to serve, thou wilt cease to be a squire.’—‘’Fore God! an
+excellent response!’ cried Sancho; ‘that I could have foretold myself,
+and the prophet Perogrullo could have said no more.’—‘What answer would
+you have, you beast?’ said Don Quixote; ‘is it not sufficient that the
+responses delivered by the head, correspond with the questions you have
+asked?’—‘It shall suffice,’ replied the squire; ‘but I wish it had
+explained itself a little more fully, and told me some more of my
+fortune.’
+
+Thus ended the questions and answers, but not the admiration of the
+whole company; except Antonio’s two friends, who had been let into the
+secret; which Cid Hamet Benengeli will now explain, that the world may
+not be kept longer in suspense, or imagine that any necromantick
+talisman or extraordinary mystery was contained in this wonderful bust.
+He gives us, therefore, to understand, that Don Antonio Moreno, in
+imitation of such another head which he had seen at Madrid, contrived by
+a statuary, ordered this to be made in his own house for his private
+amusement, and with a view to surprize the vulgar; and in this manner
+was the whole fabricated. The table was of wood painted and varnished
+like jasper, and the foot that supported it of the same materials,
+carved into the resemblance of four eagles talons, which kept it firm
+and steady in its position. The head formed from the medal of one of the
+Roman emperors, and covered with a copper colour, was hollow, as well as
+the table, in which it was so nicely fixed, that no eye could perceive
+the joining; the foot was likewise hollow, and answered to the neck and
+breast of the bust; and the whole corresponed with another chamber
+below, by means of a concealed tin pipe which passed through the bust,
+the table, and the foot. In this lower apartment, communicating with
+that of the inchanted head, did the person who uttered the responses fix
+his mouth to the pipe, so as that the voice ascended and descended in
+distinct and articulate sounds, and it was impossible for any person to
+discover the deception. The respondent was Antonio’s nephew, a student
+of acute parts, and a well-cultivated understanding, who, being
+previously informed by his uncle of the number and names of the persons
+whom he intended to introduce into the chamber of the inchanted head,
+was enabled to answer the first question with great facility and
+precision; and to the rest he replied by conjectures which were equally
+ingenious and discreet.
+
+Cid Hamet moreover relates, that for ten or twelve days the virtue of
+this wonderful machine continued in full force; but a report diffusing
+itself through the city, that Don Antonio had in his house an inchanted
+head, which could answer all manner of questions, he began to be afraid
+that these tidings might reach the ears of the vigilant centinels of our
+faith; for which reason he explained the whole affair to the fathers of
+the inquisition, who forbade him to proceed with the deception, and gave
+orders that the head should be broke in pieces, lest it should give
+umbrage to the superstitious vulgar: but, in the opinion of Don Quixote
+and Sancho Panza, it passed for a head that was really inchanted and
+oracular; though it had given more satisfaction to the knight than the
+squire.
+
+The gentlemen of the city, in complaisance to Don Antonio, and for the
+entertainment of Don Quixote, whom they wanted to furnish with an
+opportunity of discovering his diverting follies, appointed a running at
+the ring to be performed in six days; but this was prevented by an
+incident which will be explained in the sequel. Meanwhile, the knight
+was desirous of going out and viewing the city at leisure, and afoot;
+fearing that, should he appear on horseback, he would again be
+persecuted by the boys and vulgar. He accordingly went forth, attended
+by Sancho, and two of Antonio’s servants, whom their master had chosen
+for that purpose; and chancing to lift up his eyes in passing through
+one of the streets, he saw inscribed over a gate, in capital letters,
+‘This is a printing-house;’ a circumstance which gave him uncommon
+satisfaction, as hitherto he had never seen a printing-press, and longed
+much to know something of that art: he therefore entered the house with
+all his train, and saw people casting off in one part, correcting in
+another, composing in a third, revising in a fourth, and, in short, the
+whole œconomy of a large printing-house. Going up to one box, he asked
+what was doing; and being informed by the workmen, expressed his
+admiration, and proceeded to a second. Among others, he went up to one,
+and putting the same question, the workman replied, ‘Signior, that there
+gentleman,’ pointing to a grave person of a very prepossessing
+appearance, ‘has translated a book from the Tuscan into the Castilian
+language, and I am now composing it for the press.’—‘What is the name of
+the book?’ said Don Quixote. ‘Signior,’ answered the author, ‘the book
+in the original is called, _Le Bagatelle_.’—‘And what is the
+signification of Le Bagatelle in our language?’ resumed the knight. ‘_Le
+Bagatelle_,’ replied the author, ‘is, as if we should say, in Castilian,
+_Juquetes_[209]: and, although the title of the book be so humble, it
+includes and contains a great deal of excellent and substantial
+writing.’—‘I am not altogether ignorant of the Tuscan language,’ said
+Don Quixote, ‘for I value myself upon singing some stanzas of Ariosto;
+but, pray tell me, Signior, (and what I am going to ask is not with any
+intention to sound your genius, but merely to satisfy my own curiosity)
+have you ever, in composing your books, met with the word
+_pignatta_?’—‘Yes, frequently,’ replied the author. ‘And how do you
+translate it into Castilian?’ resumed the knight. ‘How should I
+translate it,’ said the other, ‘but by the word _olla_?’—‘Body o’me!’
+cried Don Quixote, ‘what progress you have made in the knowledge of the
+Tuscan idiom! I will lay a good wager that you translate _piace_ into
+_plaze_, _piu_ into _mas_, _su_ into _arriba_, and _giu_ into
+_abaxo_.’—‘Certainly,’ said the author, ‘because these words of the two
+languages correspond with one another.’—‘Notwithstanding all your
+learning,’ replied the knight, ‘I could almost swear you are hitherto
+unknown to the world, which is ever averse to remunerate a flourishing
+genius, and works of merit. What talents are lost, what abilities
+obscured, and what virtues are undervalued, in this degenerate age! yet,
+nevertheless, a translation from one language to another, excepting
+always those sovereign tongues the Greek and Latin, is, in my opinion,
+like the wrong side of Flemish tapestry, in which, though we distinguish
+the figures, they are confused and obscured by ends and threads, without
+that smoothness and expression which the other side exhibits: and to
+translate from easy languages, argues neither genius nor elocution, nor
+any merit superior to that of transcribing from one paper to another;
+but from hence I would not infer that translation is not a laudable
+exercise, for a man may employ his time in a much worse and more
+unprofitable occupation. At any rate, my observation cannot affect our
+two famous translators, Doctor Christoval de Figueroa, in Pastor Fido,
+and Don Juan de Xaurigui in Aminta, two pieces they have so happily
+executed, as to render it doubtful which is the original and which the
+translation: but pray, Signior, is this book printed on your own
+account, or have you sold the copy to a bookseller?’—‘I publish it on my
+own account,’ replied the author, ‘and expect to gain a thousand ducats
+at least upon the first impression, of which there will be two thousand
+copies, that will fetch six rials a piece in the turning of a
+straw.’—‘That is a very clear and comfortable reckoning,’ answered Don
+Quixote; ‘but you seem to be very little acquainted with the outgoings
+and the incomings, the schemes, conspiracies, and cabals of booksellers:
+when you find your back burdened with two thousand copies, I give you my
+word both your mind and body will be terribly fatigued; especially if
+the books should be harsh, or a little deficient in point of
+spirit.’—‘What!’ said the author, ‘your worship thinks, then, I ought to
+offer my performance to a bookseller, who would give me three maravedis
+for the copy, and insist upon it that he had done me a favour into the
+bargain? I do not publish with a view to acquire reputation in the
+world, where, thank Heaven, I am already well known by my works; I print
+for profit, without which, reputation is not worth a doit.’—‘God send
+you good luck, Signior,’ answered the knight; who, advancing to another
+box, where he saw the corrector employed on the sheet of a book,
+intitled, ‘The Light of the Soul;’—‘Aye,’ said he, ‘these are the books
+that ought to be printed; for, although there is already a pretty large
+number of this kind in print, numerous are the sinners for whose use
+they are intended; and for such multitudes who are in darkness, an
+infinite number of lights is required.’ He proceeded in his enquiry, and
+when he asked another corrector the name of a book on which he saw him
+at work, he understood it was the second part of The Sage Hidalgo Don
+Quixote de La Mancha, written by a certain person a native of
+Tordesillas. ‘I have heard of this performance,’ said the knight; ‘and
+really, in my conscience, thought it was long before this time burned
+into ashes, or pounded into dust, for the impertinence it contains; but,
+as we say of hogs, “Martinmas will come in due season[210].” Works of
+imagination are the more useful and entertaining the nearer they
+approach to truth, and the more probability they contain; and even
+history is valued according to its truth and authenticity.’
+
+So saying, he quitted the printing-house with some marks of displeasure;
+and that same day, Don Antonio proposed that he should go on board, and
+see the gallies in the road; a proposal which was extremely agreeable to
+Sancho, who had never seen the inside of a galley in the whole course of
+his life; and he sent a message to inform the commodore of his intention
+to visit him in the evening, with his guest the renowned Don Quixote de
+La Mancha, whose name and person were already well known to this
+commander and all the citizens of Barcelona. What passed during this
+visit, will be related in the following chapter.
+
+Footnote 205:
+
+ Literally, ‘Use the times as I find them.’
+
+Footnote 206:
+
+ This was Michael Scot, who lived in the thirteenth century, and was
+ such an adept in medicine, mathematicks, chymistry, alchymy, and other
+ branches of natural knowledge, that the vulgar looked upon him as a
+ wizard or magician. But as this philosopher died in 1291, and this
+ conversation between Don Antonio and our knight must have happened
+ after the year 1605, when the first part of Don Quixote was licensed,
+ how could the disciple of Scot be in the house of Don Antonio? Yet
+ this anachronism might easily pass upon Don Quixote, as it related to
+ matters of inchantment.
+
+Footnote 207:
+
+ But in this very chapter he has already told Don Quixote, that he knew
+ the virtue of the head from experience.
+
+Footnote 208:
+
+ Antonio’s wife must have been here before the others entered: for she
+ is not in the list of those who went in with her husband.
+
+Footnote 209:
+
+ Trifles.
+
+Footnote 210:
+
+ About Martinmas they killed the hogs designed for bacon.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XI.
+ OF THE MISFORTUNE WHICH BEFEL SANCHO PANZA ON BOARD OF THE GALLIES,
+ AND THE RARE ADVENTURE OF THE BEAUTIFUL MOOR.
+
+
+Manifold and profound were the self-deliberations of Don Quixote on the
+response of the inchanted head, without his being able to discover the
+deceit; and the result of all his reflections was the promise of
+Dulcinea’s being disinchanted, on which he reposed himself with the most
+implicit confidence. This was the goal of all his thoughts, and he
+rejoiced, in full assurance of seeing it suddenly accomplished. As for
+Sancho, although he abhorred the office of a governor, as we have
+already observed, he could not help wishing for another opportunity of
+issuing out orders and seeing them obeyed; a misfortune which never
+fails to attend the exertion of power, even though founded on mock
+authority.
+
+In a word, that very evening his landlord Don Antonio Moreno, and his
+two friends, went on board of the gallies with Don Quixote and Sancho;
+and the commodore being apprized of the visit intended by two such
+famous personages, no sooner perceived them coming towards the sea-side,
+than he ordered the awnings to be struck and the musick to play; the
+barge was hoisted out, covered with rich carpets, and furnished with
+velvet cushions, and the minute Don Quixote embarked, the cannon
+a-midships of the captain-galley was discharged, and the others followed
+her example. When the knight ascended the accommodation-ladder, on the
+starboard side, the whole crew saluted him with three cheers, a
+compliment usually paid to persons of the first quality; and the
+general, for by this name we shall henceforth call him, who was a noble
+Valentian, presented his hand, and embracing Don Quixote, ‘This day,’
+said he, ‘will I mark with a white stone, as one of the happiest I shall
+ever enjoy, on account of seeing the renowned Signior Don Quixote de La
+Mancha, in whom the whole worth of knight-errantry is cyphered and
+concentered.’ No less courteous and polite was the reply of Don Quixote,
+who rejoiced above measure at seeing himself treated with such respect.
+The whole company having ascended the poop, which was very gaily
+ornamented, and seated themselves upon benches, the boatswain repaired
+to the gangway, and making a signal with his whistle for all the slaves
+to strip, was obeyed in an instant, to the no small discomposure of
+Sancho, who was terrified at the sight of so many naked backs; nor did
+his apprehension abate, when he saw the awning stretched with such
+incredible dispatch, that he thought all the devils in hell had assisted
+in the operation. Yet this was nothing but cakes and gingerbread to what
+I am going to relate.
+
+The squire sat upon the stentril, close by the aftermost rower on the
+starboard side; who, in consequence of the previous instructions he had
+received, lifted up Sancho in his arms, and while the whole crew of
+slaves stood up, alert with the prospect of the joke, tossed him like a
+tennis-ball to his fellow, who in the same manner committed him to a
+third; and thus he was bandied forwards on the starboard side, from
+slave to slave, and bench to bench, with such expedition, that poor
+Panza lost his eyesight entirely, and firmly believed himself in the
+possession of the fiends: nor did they desist from this exercise, until
+he was reconveyed by the larboard-side to the poop, where this miserable
+object lay bruised, breathless, and covered with a cold sweat, and in
+such perturbation of spirits that he scarce knew what he had undergone.
+
+Don Quixote seeing Sancho flying in that manner without wings, asked the
+general, if it was a ceremony practised upon every person at his first
+going on board; for, in that case, as he himself did not intend to make
+profession of a seafaring life, he had no ambition to perform such an
+exercise; and he vowed to God, if any man should attempt to seize him,
+as a fit subject for flying, he would spurn his soul out of his body; in
+confirmation of which resolve, he started up, and laying his hand upon
+his sword, put himself in a posture of defence.
+
+At that instant the awning was furled, and the main-yard lowered with
+such a terrible noise, that Sancho imagined the heavens were tore from
+off their hinges and tumbling down upon his head, which he forthwith
+shrunk between his legs in an agony of terror: nor was all serene in the
+breast of Don Quixote; who, while his legs trembled under him, shrugged
+up his shoulders, and changed colour. The crew having hoisted the
+main-yard, with the same expedition and noise which were made in its
+descent; while they themselves continued as silent as if they had been
+altogether without breath or utterance, the boatswain piped all hands to
+weigh anchor, and leaping into the middle of the gangway, began to ply
+their shoulders with his supple-jack, or bull’s-pizzle, and the galley
+by little and little stood out to sea.
+
+Sancho beholding such a huge body, moved by so many painted feet, for
+such he took the oars to be, said within himself, ‘This, indeed, is
+really inchantment; but what my master takes for it is no such matter.
+What have these miserable wretches done to be scourged in this manner?
+and I wonder how the devil that single man, who skips up and down,
+piping and whistling, dares whip and flog so many people; now, on my
+conscience, I believe this is hell itself, or purgatory at least!’
+
+Don Quixote perceiving with what attention the squire observed every
+circumstance, ‘Friend Sancho,’ said he, ‘with what facility and dispatch
+might you now, if you please, strip yourself from the middle upwards,
+and taking your place among these gentlemen, finish at once the
+disenchantment of Dulcinea; for, amidst the distress of so much good
+company, you would hardly be sensible of bodily pain: and who knows, but
+the sage Merlin would reckon each of these stripes, which are bestowed
+with goodwill, equivalent to ten of these, which, at the long run, you
+must receive from your own hand.’ The general had just opened his mouth
+to enquire about the nature of this flagellation, and Dulcinea’s
+disenchantment, when a mariner came and told him, that the fort of
+Munjuy had made signal of a rowing bark upon the coast, to the westward.
+He no sooner received this intelligence, than advancing into a gang-way,
+‘Pull away, my lads!’ cried he, ‘let not this corsair brigantine escape;
+for certainly she must be a vessel belonging to Algiers which the castle
+has discovered.’
+
+The other three gallies ranging alongside of the admiral to receive
+orders, the general directed that two of them should stand out to sea,
+and the other keep along shore, so that the Algerine should not escape.
+The slaves immediately began to ply their oars, which impelled the
+gallies with such velocity, that they seemed to fly; while the two that
+put to sea, at the distance of two miles, discovered a bark, which, from
+the view, they judged to have fourteen or fifteen banks, and their
+conjecture was right. This vessel no sooner descried the gallies, than
+she made the best of her way, in hope of being able to escape by her
+nimbleness; but she was baffled in this expedition; for the admiral
+being one of the swiftest gallies that ever sailed, came up with her
+apace, and the captain of the brigantine perceiving plainly that he
+could not escape, desired the rowers to quit their oars and strike, that
+he might not by his obstinacy incense the officer who commanded the
+gallies: but fate, which conducted their affairs in another manner,
+ordained, that even after the admiral was within hearing, and ordered
+them to strike, two Toraquis, that is, a couple of drunken Turks,
+belonging to the brigantine, discharged two firelocks, which killed as
+many soldiers who chanced to be in the head of the galley; an incident
+which was no sooner perceived by the general, than he swore he would not
+leave one person alive in the brigantine, which he ordered his people to
+board with all expedition; nevertheless, she, for the present, escaped
+under the oars, and the galley had such way, that she shot a-head to a
+good distance, so that the people on board the chace, seeing themselves
+in danger of being destroyed, hoisted their sails and put before the
+wind, while the galley tacked and pursued with all her force of canvas
+and of oars. The diligence and dexterity of the Algerines did not turn
+out so much to their advantage, as their presumption conduced to their
+prejudice; for, the admiral running along-side, grappled with the
+brigantine, and took the whole crew prisoners. The other two gallies
+came up, and all returned with the prize to the road, while a great
+concourse of people stood on the beach, to see the contents of the ship
+they had taken. The general anchored close by the shore, and
+understanding the viceroy of the city was among the spectators, he
+ordered the barge to be hoisted out to fetch him on board, and commanded
+the yard to be lowered for the convenience of hanging the master of the
+brigantine, and the other Turks he had taken, to the number of
+thirty-six, all stout young fellows, and mostly Turkish musqueteers.
+When he asked who commanded the brigantine, one of the prisoners, who
+was afterwards known to be a Spanish renegado, answered in Castilian,
+‘That there young man is our master;’ pointing to one of the most
+beautiful and genteel youths that human imagination can conceive, whose
+age to all appearance was under twenty. ‘Ill-advised dog,’ said the
+general, ‘what induced thee to kill my soldiers, when thou sawest it was
+impossible to escape? Is that the respect which is due to
+admiral-gallies? Dost thou not know, that rashness is not valour, and
+that doubtful hopes ought to make men resolute, but not desperate?’
+
+The Moor was about to reply, but the general could not at that time hear
+his answer, because he was obliged to go and receive the viceroy, who
+had just entered the galley, with some of his own servants, and a few
+other persons. ‘General,’ said this nobleman, ‘you have had a fine
+chace.’—‘Aye, so fine,’ replied the other, ‘that your excellency shall
+see it presently hoisted up at the yard-arm.’—‘For what reason?’ said
+the viceroy. ‘I mean, the master of the brigantine and his crew,’
+answered the commodore, ‘who have, against all law, reason, and custom
+of war, killed two of the best soldiers that ever served on board; so
+that I have sworn to hang all the prisoners, especially this youth who
+was their captain,’ pointing to the handsome Moor; who, by this time,
+waited for execution, with his hands tied, and a rope about his neck.
+
+The viceroy, surveying this unhappy prisoner, (whose beauty, genteel
+mien, and humility, served him instead of a recommendation) was seized
+with the desire of saving his life, and approaching him, ‘Tell me,
+corsair,’ said he, ‘art thou a Turk, Moor, or Renegado?’ To this
+question the youth answered, in the Castilian tongue, ‘I am neither
+Turk, Moor, or Renegado.’—‘Then, what art thou?’ resumed the viceroy. ‘A
+Christian woman,’ replied the captive. ‘A Christian woman,’ cried the
+viceroy, ‘in such dress and situation! this is a circumstance more
+worthy of admiration than of credit.’—‘Gentlemen,’ said the youth, ‘be
+so good as to suspend my execution, until I shall have recounted the
+particulars of my story; and that small delay will not much retard the
+accomplishment of your revenge.’ What heart could be so obdurate as not
+to relent at this address; so far at least, as to hear the story of the
+afflicted youth? The general, accordingly, told him he might proceed
+with his relation, but by no means expect pardon for the crime of which
+he was convicted. With this permission he began in these terms.
+
+‘I was born of that nation, more unfortunate than wise, which hath been
+lately overwhelmed by a sea of trouble: in other words, my parents were
+Moors; and, in the torrent of their misfortune, I was carried by two
+uncles into Barbary, notwithstanding my professing myself a Christian;
+not one of those impostors, who are so only in appearance, but a true
+and faithful Roman catholick. This declaration did not avail me with
+those who had the charge of our miserable expulsion; nor was it believed
+by my uncles, who, on the contrary, supposing it no more than a lye, and
+expedient, by which I thought to obtain permission to remain in my
+native country, hurried me along with them in a forcible manner. My
+mother was a Christian, and my father a prudent man of the same
+religion: I sucked in the catholick faith when an infant at the breast,
+and was trained up in the ways of virtue; nor do I think I have ever
+given the least marks of Mahometanism, either in word or deed. In equal
+pace with my virtue, (for I really think my life was virtuous) my
+beauty, such as it is, hath ever walked; and notwithstanding the
+extraordinary reserve in which I lived, concealed from publick view, it
+was my fate to be seen by a young cavalier, called Don Gregorio, eldest
+son of a gentleman who had an estate in our neighbourhood. How he became
+desperately enamoured of me, and how I grew fond of him to distraction,
+it would be tedious to relate, considering my present situation,
+standing as I am, with the fatal cord between my tongue and throat: I
+shall therefore only observe, that Don Gregorio resolved to accompany me
+in my exile, and actually mingled with those Moors who joined us in
+different places, without being discovered; for he spoke the language
+perfectly well. Nay, in the course of our voyage, he insinuated himself
+into the friendship of my two uncles, with whom I travelled; for my
+father, who was a man of prudence and foresight, no sooner heard the
+first mandate for our expulsion, than he went abroad to foreign kingdoms
+in quest of an asylum for his family, leaving a large quantity of
+pearls, valuable jewels, with some money, in crusadoes and doubloons of
+gold, concealed and interred in a certain place, to which I alone was
+privy; and laying strong injunctions upon me to avoid touching this
+treasure, in case we should be exiled before his return. I obeyed his
+commands in this particular, and as I have already observed, set sail
+with my uncles, relations, and friends, for Barbary; and the place in
+which we settled was Algiers, whereas we might as well have taken up our
+habitation in hell itself. The king hearing of my beauty, and the report
+of my wealth, which was partly fortunate for my designs, ordered me to
+be brought before him, and asked from what part of Spain I had come, and
+what money and jewels I had brought to Barbary. I told him the place of
+my nativity, and gave him to understand that the money and jewels were
+buried under-ground: but that I should easily recover the whole hoard,
+provided I could return alone for that purpose. This information I gave,
+that he might be more blinded by his own avarice than my beauty: but,
+during the conversation, a person told him that I was accompanied in my
+voyage by one of the most beautiful and genteel youths that ever was
+seen. I immediately understood that this was no other than Don Gasper
+Gregorio, whose beauty far exceeds the fairest that ever was extolled;
+and was exceedingly afflicted at the prospect of danger to which the
+dear youth might be exposed; for, among those barbarous Turks, a boy or
+handsome youth is more prized and esteemed than any woman, let her be
+never so beautiful.
+
+‘The king forthwith ordered his people to bring Don Gregorio into his
+presence, and in the mean time asked me if his person actually
+corresponded with this report. Then I, as if inspired by Heaven,
+answered in the affirmative; though at the same time I assured him, it
+was no youth, but a woman like myself; and begged leave to go and dress
+her in her natural attire, which would shew her beauty to the best
+advantage, and enable her to appear in his presence with less confusion.
+He said I might go, in good time, and that some other day he would
+concert measures for my return into Spain, to bring off the hidden
+treasure. Thus dismissed, I went and explained to Don Gaspar the risque
+he would run in appearing as a man, and dressing him in the habit of a
+Moorish woman, accompanied him that same evening to the presence of the
+king, who was seized with admiration at sight of her beauty, and
+resolved to keep her for a present to the Grand Signior. In order to
+avoid the danger to which this young creature might be exposed in his
+seraglio, from his own inordinate desires, he ordered her to be lodged,
+quartered, and attended, in the house of some Moorish ladies, whither
+she was immediately conveyed; and what we both felt at parting, for I
+cannot deny that I love him tenderly, I leave to the confederation of
+lovers who have experienced such a cruel separation.
+
+‘The king afterwards contrived a scheme for my returning to Spain in
+this brigantine, accompanied by two native Turks, the very persons who
+killed your soldiers, and that Spanish renegado,’ (pointing to him who
+spoke first) ‘who I know is a Christian in his heart, and is much more
+desirous of remaining in Spain than of returning to Barbary; the rest of
+the crew are Moors and Turks, whom we engaged as rowers. The two
+insolent and rapacious Turks, without minding the order they received to
+land the renegado and me in the habit of Christians, with which we were
+provided on the first part of Spain they could make, resolved previously
+to scour the coast, with a view to take prizes, fearing that should they
+set us on shore beforehand, we might meet with some accident which would
+oblige us to discover that there was a corsair on the coast, and they of
+consequence run the risk of being taken by the gallies. At night we
+descried this road, though we did not perceive the four gallies, and
+being discovered, were taken as you see. In a word, Don Gregorio remains
+in the habit of a woman among the Moorish ladies, at the imminent hazard
+of his life, and here I stand fettered and manacled, in expectation, or
+rather in fear, of losing that existence of which I am already tired.
+This, Signior, is the end of my lamentable story, which is equally true
+and unfortunate; and all I beg of you is, that I may die like a
+Christian, seeing, as I have already observed, I have in no shape been
+guilty of the fault which hath been charged upon our unhappy nation!’
+
+So saying, she stood silent, her lovely eyes impregnated with tears,
+which few of the spectators could behold unmoved; and the viceroy, whose
+disposition was humane and compassionate, unable to speak, advanced to
+the place, and with his own hands released those of the beautiful Moor.
+
+While this Christian Moor related her peregrinations, an ancient pilgrim
+who had followed the viceroy into the galley, kept his eyes close fixed
+upon her countenance, and her story was no sooner finished than he threw
+himself at her feet, which he bathed with his tears, while in accents
+interrupted with a thousand sighs and groans, he exclaimed, ‘O, Anna
+Felix! my unhappy daughter; I am thy father Ricote, who have returned in
+search of thee to Spain, because I could not live without thee, who art
+dear to my affection even as my own soul!’
+
+At these words, Sancho opened his eyes, and raised his head, which he
+had hitherto hung in manifest despondence, reflecting upon the disgrace
+of his flying adventure; and looking at the pilgrim, recognized that
+same Ricote whom he had encountered the very day on which he quitted his
+government: he likewise recollected the features of his daughter, who
+being by this time unbound, mingled her tears with those of her father,
+whom she tenderly embraced; and then the old man, addressing himself to
+the viceroy and general, ‘My lords,’ said he, ‘this is my daughter; not
+so happy in the incidents of her life, as in her name, which is Anna
+Felix, with the addition of Ricote, as famous for her beauty as for her
+father’s wealth. I left my country in quest of a place where we should
+be received and hospitably entertained; and having found such an asylum
+in Germany, I returned as a pilgrim in the company of some people of
+that nation; hoping to find my daughter, and fetch away the wealth which
+I had buried in the earth: my daughter was gone, but I recovered my
+hoard, which is in my possession; and now, by this strange vicissitude
+which you have seen, I have retrieved that treasure which is the chief
+object of my affection, I mean, my beloved daughter. If our innocence
+and mutual tears can have influence enough upon your integrity and
+justice, to open the gates of mercy, O let it prevail in favour of us,
+who never offended you even in thought, nor in any shape corresponded
+with the designs of our people, who have been justly expelled.’ Here
+Sancho interposing, ‘I am very well acquainted with Ricote,’ said he,
+‘and know all he has said about his daughter Anna Felix to be true; but
+with respect to that other trash of his comings and goings, and his good
+or evil designs, I neither meddle nor make.’ Every person present
+expressed admiration at this strange incident; and the general turning
+to the daughter, ‘Every tear you let fall,’ said he, ‘conspires in
+preventing the performance of my oath. Live, beauteous Anna Felix, the
+term of your life prescribed by Heaven; and let those insolent and
+presumptuous wretches suffer punishment for the crimes they have
+committed.’
+
+So saying, he ordered the two Turks, who had killed his soldiers, to be
+hanged at the yard’s-arm; but the viceroy earnestly entreated him to
+spare their lives, as their crime was rather the effect of madness than
+of preconceived design. The general granted his request, especially as
+he did not think it commendable to execute revenge in cold blood.
+
+Then they began to contrive some method for extricating Don Gaspar
+Gregorio from the danger in which he was involved; and Ricote offered to
+the value of above two thousand ducats, which he had about him in pearls
+and jewels, to any person who could effect his deliverance. Many schemes
+were projected; but none of them seemed so sensible as that which was
+presented by the fore-mentioned Spanish renegado, who offered to return
+to Algiers in some small bark of about six banks, manned with
+Christians, as he knew where, how, and when he might land with safety,
+and was well acquainted with the house in which Don Gaspar remained. The
+general and the viceroy were dubious of the renegado, and scrupled to
+trust him with the command of Christian rowers; but Anna Felix was
+satisfied of his integrity, and her father said he would engage to
+ransom them, should they chance to be taken and enslaved.
+
+Matters being settled on this footing, the viceroy went ashore, after
+having laid strong injunctions on Don Antonio Moreno, who had invited
+the Moorish beauty and her father to his house, to make much of his
+guests, and command whatever his own palace could afford for their
+entertainment. Such was the charity and benevolence which Anna’s beauty
+had infused into his heart!
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XII.
+ GIVING THE DETAIL OF AN ADVENTURE
+ WHICH GAVE DON QUIXOTE MORE MORTIFICATION
+ THAN HE HAD RECEIVED FROM ALL THE MISFORTUNES
+ WHICH HAD HITHERTO BEFALLEN HIM.
+
+
+Don Antonio’s lady, as the history relates, was extremely pleased at the
+sight of Anna Felix, whom she received with great cordiality, equally
+enamoured of her beauty and discretion; for, indeed, the Moor excelled
+in both; and here she was visited by all the people of fashion in town,
+as if by toll of bell. As for Don Quixote, he gave Antonio to
+understand, that in his opinion, the plan they had formed for the
+deliverance of Don Gregorio was more dangerous than expedient; and that
+it would be much more effectual to set him on shore in Barbary, with his
+arms and horse; in which case he would bring home the young gentleman in
+despight of the whole Moorish race, as heretofore Don Gayferos had
+delivered his wife, Melisandra. Sancho, hearing this proposal,
+‘Consider,’ said he, ‘that Signior Don Gayferos delivered his wife from
+captivity on the main land, and carried her off to France through the
+high road; but, in this case, even granting we should have the good luck
+to release Don Gregorio from his confinement, we shall not be able to
+convey him hither to Spain, because the sea is between us and
+Barbary.’—‘There’s a remedy for all things but death,’ replied the
+knight: ‘for, if there is a bark by the shore, we can go aboard, in
+opposition to the whole universe.’—‘Your worship describes it a very
+easy matter,’ said the squire; ‘but, between Said and Done, a long race
+may be run; and, for my part, I would stick to the offer of the
+renegado, who seems to be a very honest person, and a man of
+compassionate bowels.’ Don Antonio said, that if the renegado should
+fail in his undertaking, they would certainly find some means for
+transporting the great Don Quixote to Barbary; and in two days the
+renegado departed in a light bark with six oars on a side, manned with a
+crew of approved valour. In two days after her departure the gallies
+likewise set sail for the Levant, after the general had begged and
+obtained the viceroy’s promise to let him know the success of the scheme
+they had contrived for the deliverance of Don Gregorio, together with
+the fate of the lovely Anna Felix.
+
+One morning, Don Quixote rode forth upon the strand, completely armed;
+for he often observed, arms were his ornaments, and fighting his
+diversion, and he never cared to appear in any other dress; and as he
+pranced along, he saw coming towards him a knight, likewise armed
+cap-a-pee, having a full moon painted on his shield. This apparition was
+no sooner within hearing, than he addressed his discourse to Don
+Quixote, pronouncing aloud, ‘Renowned cavalier, never enough applauded
+Don Quixote de La Mancha, I, the Knight of the White Moon, whose
+unheard-of exploits, may, peradventure, recal him to your remembrance,
+am come with hostile intent to prove the force of thine arm; to convince
+and compel thee to own that my mistress, whosoever she is, exceeds in
+beauty thy Dulcinea del Toboso, beyond all comparison: which truth, if
+thou wilt fairly and fully confess, thou wilt avoid thy own death, and
+spare me the trouble of being thy executioner; but shouldst thou presume
+to engage with me in single combat, and be overcome, all the
+satisfaction I demand is, that thou wilt lay aside thine arms, desist
+from travelling in quest of adventures, and quitting the field, retire
+to thine own habitation, where thou shalt continue a whole year, without
+drawing a sword, in comfortable peace and profitable tranquillity, which
+may tend to the augmentation of thy fortune, and the salvation of thy
+precious soul. On the other hand, if it be my fate to be vanquished, my
+life shall exist at thy discretion; thine shall be the spoils of all my
+arms and horse, and to thee shall be transferred all the fame of my
+atchievements: consider which of these alternatives thou wilt chuse, and
+answer me on the spot; for, on this very day, the affair must be
+dispatched and determined.’
+
+Don Quixote was astonished and confounded, as well at the arrogance of
+the Knight of the White Moon, as at the cause of his defiance; and,
+after a short pause of recollection, replied with a solemn tone, and
+countenance severe, ‘Sir Knight of the White Moon, whose exploits have
+not as yet reached mine ear, I dare say you have never seen the
+illustrious Dulcinea; for, had you enjoyed that happiness, I know you
+would not have dreamed of making such a rash demand: one glimpse of her
+would have undeceived you perfectly, and plainly demonstrated, that
+there never was, or will be, beauty comparable to that which she
+possesses. I, therefore, without giving you the lye, but only affirming
+that you are egregiously mistaken, accept of your defiance on the
+conditions you have proposed, and will fight you forthwith, before the
+day you have pitched upon shall be elapsed; with this exception,
+however, that I will by no means adopt the fame of your exploits;
+because I know not how, where, or wherefore they were atchieved, and am
+content with my own, such as they are: chuse your ground therefore, and
+I will take my share of the field; and let St. Peter bless what God
+shall bestow.’
+
+The Knight of the White Moon being discovered from the city, and seen
+talking with Don Quixote, notice was given to the viceroy; who,
+supposing it was some new adventure contrived by Don Antonio Moreno, or
+some other gentleman of the town, went down to the strand, accompanied
+by the said Don Antonio, and a number of other cavaliers, and reached
+the spot just as Don Quixote wheeled about on Rozinante to measure his
+distance. Seeing both parties ready for returning to the encounter, he
+placed himself in the middle between them, and demanded the cause that
+induced them so suddenly to engage in single combat. The Knight of the
+White Moon answered, that it was the precedency of beauty; and briefly
+repeated his proposal to Don Quixote, with the mutual acceptation of the
+conditions proposed. Then the viceroy taking Don Antonio aside, asked if
+he knew this Knight of the White Moon; and if this was a joke which he
+intended to perpetrate upon Don Quixote. Don Antonio assured him that he
+knew not the stranger, nor could guess whether the challenge was given
+in jest or earnest. He was a little perplexed, and dubious whether or
+not he should allow the battle to be fought; but, as he could not
+conceive it to be any thing else than a preconcerted joke, he retired,
+saying, ‘Valiant knights, seeing there is no other remedy, but you must
+confess or die; and Signior Don Quixote persists in denying what you, of
+the White Moon, presume to affirm; I leave you to your fate, and God
+stand by the righteous.’
+
+The stranger, in very polite terms, and well-selected phrase, thanked
+the viceroy for the permission he had granted; and his example was, in
+this particular, followed by Don Quixote, who, having recommended
+himself heartily to Heaven and his Dulcinea, according to his usual
+practice when he engaged in any combat, turned about to take a little
+more ground, in imitation of his antagonist; then, without receiving a
+signal for engaging, either by sound of trumpet, or any other
+instrument, both parties wheeled about at the same instant. The Knight
+of the White Moon having the fleeter horse, coming up with his
+adversary, before this last had run one third of his career, lifting up
+his lance purposely that he might not wound Don Quixote, whom, however,
+he encountered with such an irresistible shock, that both he and
+Rozinante came to the ground with a very dangerous fall: the victor
+instantly sprung upon him, and clapping his lance to his vizor,
+‘Knight,’ said he, ‘you are vanquished, and a dead man, unless you
+acknowledge the terms of the defiance.’ To this address the battered and
+astonished Don Quixote, without lifting up his beaver, replied in a
+languid tone and feeble voice, that seemed to issue from a tomb,
+‘Dulcinea del Toboso is the most beautiful woman in the world, and I the
+most unfortunate knight on earth; and, as it is not reasonable that my
+weakness should discredit this truth, make use of your weapon, knight,
+and instantly deprive me of life, as you have already divested me of
+honour.’—‘By no means’ said he of the White Moon: ‘let the fame of my
+Lady Dulcinea’s beauty flourish in full perfection; all the satisfaction
+I ask is, that the great Don Quixote shall retire to his own house, and
+there abide for the space of one year, or during the term which I shall
+prescribe, according to the articles agreed upon before we engaged.’
+This whole dialogue was overheard by the viceroy, Don Antonio, and a
+number of other people who were present, and they were also
+ear-witnesses of the answer made by Don Quixote, who said, that as the
+victor had demanded nothing to the prejudice of Dulcinea, he would
+comply with his proposal like a true and punctual knight.
+
+He of the White Moon hearing his declaration, turning his horse, and,
+bowing courteously to the viceroy, entered the city at an half gallop,
+whither he was followed by Don Antonio, at the desire of the viceroy,
+who entreated him to make enquiry, and obtain satisfactory information
+concerning this romantick stranger. In the mean time, they raised up Don
+Quixote; and uncovering his face, found him pale as death, and his
+forehead bedewed with a cold sweat, while Rozinante lay motionless, from
+the rough treatment he had received. As for Sancho, he was so
+overwhelmed with sorrow and vexation, that he knew not what to say or
+do: this unlucky incident seemed to be a dream, and he looked upon the
+whole scene as a matter of inchantment. Seeing his lord and master
+overcome, and obliged to lay aside his arms for the space of a whole
+year, he imagined the splendor of his exploits was eclipsed, and all
+those fair hopes, produced from his late promise, dispersed in the air,
+as smoak is dissipated by the wind, in a word, he was afraid that
+Rozinante was maimed for ever, and his master’s bones dislocated; and
+even thought it would be a great mercy if he was not in a worse
+condition.
+
+Finally, the viceroy ordered his people to bring a sedan, in which the
+knight was carried to the city, accompanied by that nobleman, who longed
+very much to know who this Knight of the White Moon was, by whom Don
+Quixote had been left in such a cruel dilemma.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIII.
+ WHICH DISCOVERS WHO THE KNIGHT OF THE WHITE MOON WAS, AND GIVES AN
+ ACCOUNT OF THE DELIVERANCE OF DON GREGORIO—WITH OTHER INCIDENTS.
+
+
+Don Antonio Moreno followed the Knight of the White Moon, who was also
+accompanied, and even persecuted by a number of boys, until they had
+housed him in one of the city inns, which was at the same time entered
+by Don Antonio, who burned with impatience to know what he was; and,
+without ceremony, intruded himself into the apartment to which the
+stranger retired, with his squire, to be unarmed. He of the White Moon,
+perceiving how much the gentleman’s curiosity was inflamed, and that he
+was resolved to stick close by him until it should be satisfied,
+‘Signior,’ said he, ‘I am not ignorant that you are come hither on
+purpose to know who I am; and as there is no reason why I should refuse
+you that satisfaction, I will, while my servant is employed in taking
+off my armour, explain the whole mystery, without the least reserve: you
+must know, then, Signior, that I am called the Batchelor Sampson
+Carrasco, a townsman of Don Quixote de La Mancha, whose madness and
+extravagance has given great concern to all his acquaintance, and to me
+in particular. Believing that his recovery would depend upon his living
+quietly at his own habitation, I projected a scheme for compelling him
+to stay at home; and, about three months ago, sallied forth upon the
+highway, as a knight-errant, assuming the appellation of the Knight of
+the Mirrours, fully resolved to engage and vanquish Don Quixote, without
+hurting him dangerously, after I should have established, as the
+condition of our combat, that the vanquished should be at the discretion
+of the victor: and, as I deemed him already conquered, my intention was
+to demand that he should return to his own house, from which he should
+not stir for the space of one year, in which time I hoped his cure might
+be effected. But fate ordained things in another manner; I was conquered
+and overthrown, and my design entirely frustrated; he proceeded in quest
+of new adventures, and I returned vanquished, ashamed, and sorely
+bruised by the dangerous fall I had sustained in battle: nevertheless, I
+did not lay aside the design of returning in quest of him to overthrow
+him in my turn, and you have this day seen my intention succeed; for he
+is so punctual in observing the ordinances of chivalry, that he will,
+doubtless, perform his promise in complying with my demand. This,
+Signior, is an account of the whole affair: nor have I omitted one
+circumstance; and I beg you will not discover and disclose to Don
+Quixote who I am, that my Christian intention may take effect, and the
+poor gentleman retrieve his judgement, which would be altogether
+excellent, were he once abandoned by those mad notions of
+chivalry.’—‘God forgive you, Signior,’ cried Don Antonio, ‘for the
+injury you have done the world, in seeking to restore to his senses the
+most agreeable madman that ever lived! Do not you perceive, Signior,
+that the benefit resulting from the cure of Don Quixote will never
+counterbalance the pleasure produced by his extravagances? But, I
+imagine, all the care and industry of Signior Batchelor will hardly be
+sufficient to effect the recovery of a man who is so thoroughly mad,
+and, if it was no breach of charity, I would say, May Don Quixote never
+be cured; for, in his recovery, we not only lose his own diverting
+flights, but also those of his squire Sancho Panza; and any of these
+conceits are such as might convert Melancholy herself into merriment and
+laughter: nevertheless, I shall put a seal upon my lips, and say
+nothing, that I may see whether or not I shall judge aright, in
+supposing that the diligence of Signior Carrasco will not answer his
+expectation.’ The batchelor answered, that all things considered, the
+business was already in a fair way; and, he did not doubt, would be
+blessed with a prosperous issue. Don Antonio having made a tender of his
+services, and taken his leave, Sampson ordered his arms to be fastened
+upon a mule; then mounting the horse on which he engaged Don Quixote, he
+quitted the city the same day, on his return to his own country, in
+which he arrived without having met with any incident worthy of being
+recorded in this authentick history. Don Antonio made the viceroy
+acquainted with all the particulars he had learned from Carrasco, which
+afforded no great pleasure to that nobleman, as the retirement of Don
+Quixote would destroy all that entertainment enjoyed by those who had
+the opportunity of observing his madness.
+
+Six whole days did Don Quixote lie a-bed, pensive, melancholy, mauled,
+and meagre, revolving in his imagination, and meditating incessantly on
+the unfortunate incident of his overthrow; notwithstanding the
+consolations of Sancho, who, among other arguments of comfort, exhorted
+his worship to hold up his head, and dispel his sorrow, if possible.
+‘Your worship,’ said he, ‘has reason to thank God, that, though you are
+overthrown, your ribs are still whole: you know that, in those matters,
+we must take as well as give; and where there are hooks we do not always
+find bacon—A fig for the physician, seeing we do not want his help in
+the cure of this distemper: let us return to our habitation, and leave
+off travelling about in quest of adventures, through lands and countries
+unknown; nay, if we rightly consider the case, I am the greatest loser,
+though your worship is the most roughly handled; for though, when I
+quitted the government, I likewise quitted all thought of governing, I
+did not give up the desire of being a count, which will never be
+fulfilled if your worship should renounce your design of being a king,
+and quit the exercise of chivalry; in that case all my hopes must vanish
+into smoke.’—‘Peace, Sancho,’ said the disconsolate knight; ‘the term of
+my penance and retirement will not exceed a year, at the end of which I
+will return to the honourable duties of my profession, and then we shall
+find kingdoms to conquer and countships to bestow.’—‘The Lord give ear,
+and my sin never hear!’ cried Sancho: ‘and I have always heard it said,
+that righteous hope is better than unjust possession.’
+
+Their conversation was interrupted by Don Antonio; who, entering the
+apartment with marks of infinite satisfaction, exclaimed—‘Money for my
+good news, Signior Don Quixote: Don Gregorio, and the renegado who
+undertook his deliverance, are now in the road—in the road! they are, by
+this time, in the viceroy’s palace, and will be here in an instant.’ The
+knight was a little revived by these tidings, and replied—‘In truth, I
+was going to say, I should have been glad to hear that the scheme had
+not succeeded, so that I should have been obliged to cross over into
+Barbary, where I would, by the strength of my arm, have given liberty
+not only to Don Gregorio, but also to all the Christian captives in
+Algiers—but what am I saying, miserable caitif? am not I vanquished? am
+not I overthrown? am not I excluded from the exercise of arms for the
+space of a whole year? wherefore, then, promise what I cannot perform?
+wherefore praise my own valour, when I am fitter for handling a distaff
+than for wielding a sword?’—‘No more of that, good Signior,’ replied the
+squire; ‘Let the hen live though she has the pip: To-day for thee, and
+to-morrow for me: as to those matters of encounters and dry bastings,
+they are not to be minded; for he that falls to-day may rise to-morrow,
+if he does not chuse to lie a-bed; I mean, if he does not chuse to
+despair, without endeavouring to recover fresh spirits for fresh
+adventures. Get up, therefore, I beseech your worship, and receive Don
+Gregorio; for the people are in such an uproar, that by this time he
+must be in the house.’
+
+This was really the case: Don Gregorio and the renegado having given the
+viceroy an account of the voyage and success of the undertaking, the
+young gentleman, impatient to see his dear Anna Felix, was come with his
+deliverer to the house of Don Antonio; and although Don Gregorio was in
+woman’s apparel when they delivered him from Algeirs, he had exchanged
+it in the vessel with another captive by whom he was accompanied; but,
+in any dress whatsoever, his appearance was such as commanded
+friendship, service, and esteem; for he was exceedingly beautiful, and
+seemingly not above seventeen or eighteen years of age. Ricote and his
+daughter went forth to receive him; the father with tears of joy, and
+Anna with the most modest deportment: nor did this fair couple embrace
+one another; for, where genuine love prevails, such freedom of behaviour
+is seldom indulged. The beauty of Don Gregorio and his mistress excited
+the admiration of all the spectators; while silence spoke for the lovers
+themselves, and their eyes performing the office of the tongue,
+disclosed the joy of their virtuous thoughts. The renegado recounted the
+stratagem and means he had used for the deliverance of the youth; who
+likewise entertained the company with a detail of the dangers and
+distresses to which he was exposed among the women with whom he had been
+left; and this task he performed not with diffused prolixity, but in
+elegant and concise terms, which plainly proved that his discretion far
+exceeded his years. Finally, Ricote liberally rewarded the rowers and
+the renagado, who re-united and re-incorporated himself with the church,
+and from a rotten member, became fair and sound, by dint of
+mortification and sincere repentance.
+
+Two days after the arrival of Don Gregorio, the viceroy consulted with
+Don Antonio about the means of obtaining permission for Anna Felix and
+her father to reside in Spain, as they were persuaded that no
+inconvenience could arise from such indulgence to a daughter who was so
+perfectly a Christian, and a father so righteously disposed. Don Antonio
+offered to negotiate this affair at court, whither he was pressingly
+called by his own occasions; observing, that by dint of interest and
+presents many difficulties are removed. Ricote, who was present at this
+conversation, said, ‘There is nothing to be hoped from favour or
+presents; neither tears, entreaties, promises, nor presents, will avail
+with the great Don Bernandino de Velasco, Count de Selaza, to whom his
+majesty has entrusted the charge of our expulsion; for, although he
+really tempers justice with mercy, as he perceives the whole body of our
+nation contaminated and gangrened, he applies the actual cautery instead
+of the mollifying ointment; so that, by his diligence, prudence,
+sagacity, and terrifying threats, he has sustained upon his able
+shoulders the weight of that vast project which he has successfully put
+in execution, without suffering his Argus eyes, which are always alert,
+to be blinded by all our industry, stratagem, fraud, and solicitation.
+He is resolved that none of our people shall remain concealed; lest,
+like an hidden root, they may hereafter bud and bring forth fruit which
+may be poisonous to Spain, already cleansed and delivered from those
+fears that arose from the prodigious number of Moors: an heroick
+resolution of the great Philip III. who has, at the same time, displayed
+the most consummate wisdom, in committing the execution of the scheme to
+the courage and ability of Don Bernandino de Velasco.’—‘Nevertheless,’
+said Don Antonio, ‘I will, while at court, use all possible means in
+your behalf, and leave the determination to Heaven; Don Gregorio shall
+go along with me, and console his parents for the grief they have
+suffered from his absence; Anna Felix shall stay with my wife, or be
+boarded in a monastery; and, I know, my lord viceroy will be pleased to
+lodge honest Ricote until we shall see the issue of my negociation.’ The
+viceroy agreed to every circumstance of the proposal; but Don Gregorio,
+being informed of the scheme, declared he neither could nor would leave
+his charming Anna Felix. At length, however, he assented to the
+proposal, resolving to go and visit his parents, with whom he would
+concert measures for returning to fetch away his mistress; so that Anna
+Felix remained with Don Antonio’s lady, and Ricote staid in the
+viceroy’s palace.
+
+The hour of Antonio’s departure arrived; and, in two days, was followed
+by that of Don Quixote, whose fall would not permit him to travel before
+that time. The parting of the lovers was attended with weeping, sighing,
+sobbing, and swooning; and Ricote offered to accommodate Don Gregorio
+with a thousand crowns; but the young gentleman would take but five,
+which he borrowed of Don Antonio, promising to repay them at court. Thus
+they set out together for Madrid; and soon after, as we have already
+observed, Don Quixote and Sancho departed from Barcelona; the knight
+unarmed, in a travelling dress, and the squire trudging a-foot, because
+Dapple carried the armour of his master.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIV.
+ TREATING OF THAT WHICH WILL BE SEEN BY HIM WHO READS,
+ AND KNOWN BY HIM WHO HEARS IT READ.
+
+
+Don Quixote, in leaving Barcelona, turned about to survey the fatal spot
+in which he had fallen, and thus exclaimed: ‘Here Troy once stood! here,
+by misfortune, not by cowardice, was I despoiled of all the glory I had
+acquired! Here did I feel the vicissitudes of fortune! here all my
+atchievements were eclipsed! and, finally, here fell my fortune, never
+more to rise!’ Sancho hearing this effusion, ‘Signior,’ said he, ‘it is
+the part of a valiant man to bear with patience his sufferings and
+adversity, as well as to enjoy his prosperity with good humour. I judge
+from my own feeling; for, if I was merry when a governor, I am not
+melancholy now that I am a poor squire travelling a-foot; and I have
+often heard, that she we call Fortune is a drunken, fickle female, and
+so blind withal, that she sees not what she does, and knows not whom she
+is abusing, or whom exalting.’—‘Sancho,’ answered the knight, ‘thou art
+very philosophical, and hast spoke with great discretion, which I know
+not where thou hast learned; I can tell thee, however, there is no such
+thing as fortune in the whole world; nor do those things which happen,
+whether good or evil, proceed from chance, but solely from the
+particular providence of Heaven; and hence comes the usual saying, That
+every man is the maker of his own fortune. I at least have been the
+maker of mine, though not with sufficient prudence, and therefore my
+presumptuous hopes miscarried. I ought to have considered that
+Rozinante’s weakness could not resist the weight and magnitude of my
+adversary’s horse; in a word, I tried my fortune, did what I could,
+found myself vanquished and overthrown, and though I lost mine honour, I
+neither did nor can forfeit my integrity, and the merit of fulfilling my
+promise; while I was a knight-errant valiant and intrepid, my hand and
+my performance gave credit to my exploits; and now that I am no more
+than a pedestrian squire, my word shall be confirmed by the
+accomplishment of my promise. Make haste, then, friend Sancho, let us
+return to our own country, and pass the year of our probation, and
+during that term of confinement acquire fresh vigour and virtue, to
+resume the never by me forgotten exercise of arms.’—‘Signior,’ answered
+the squire, ‘the pastime of trudging a-foot is not quite so pleasant, as
+to move and instigate me to travel a great pace; let us leave these arms
+of yours, hanging like a malefactor on some tree; and then I, occupying
+the back of Dapple, with my feet no longer in the mire, we may travel
+just as your worship shall desire or demand; but, to think that I can
+make long marches a-foot, is a vain supposition.’—‘Thou art in the
+right, Sancho,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘let my arms be suspended in form
+of a trophy; and beneath, or around them, we will engrave upon the tree,
+an inscription like that which appeared under the armour of Orlando—
+
+ ‘“Let him alone these arms displace,
+ Who dares Orlando’s fury face.”’
+
+‘A most excellent device!’ cried the squire; ‘and if it were not that we
+should feel the want of him in our journey, it would not be amiss to
+hang up Rozinante at the same time.’—‘Nevertheless,’ replied Don
+Quixote, ‘neither Rozinante nor my arms will I suffer to be hung up; for
+it shall never be said of me, that a good service met with a bad
+remuneration.’—‘Your worship talks very much to the purpose,’ said
+Sancho; ‘for according to the opinion of wise men, The pannel ought not
+to suffer for the fault of the ass; and since your worship alone was to
+blame for the bad success of the last adventure, you ought to punish
+yourself only, and not vent your indignation upon your bloody and
+already rusted arms, or upon the meekness of Rozinante, or, lastly, upon
+the tenderness of my feet, in desiring them to walk at a pace which they
+cannot maintain.’
+
+In this conversation, and other such discourse, they passed that whole
+day and the next four, without meeting with any incident that could
+interrupt their journey: on the fifth, which was a holiday, they entered
+a village where they saw a number of people making merry at the gate of
+an inn; and when Don Quixote approached, a countryman exclaimed, ‘One of
+these gentlemen travellers, who are unacquainted with the parties, shall
+decide our wager.’ The knight assuring them he would give his opinion
+freely and honestly, as soon as he should be informed of the matter, the
+peasant replied, ‘Worthy Signior, this here is the case: One of our
+townsmen, who is so fat and bulky that he weighs little less than three
+hundred weight, has challenged one of his neighbours, a thin creature,
+not half so heavy, to run with him one hundred yards with equal weight.
+The match was accordingly made; but when the challenger was asked how
+the weight of both should be made equal, he insisted on the other’s
+carrying the difference in bars of iron, by which means, Limberham would
+be upon a footing with Loggerhead.’—‘By no means,’ cried Sancho,
+interposing before his master could answer one word, ‘to me, who have
+been lately a governor and a judge, as all the world knows, it belongs
+to resolve these doubts, and give my opinion in every dispute.’—‘Speak,
+then, in happy time, friend Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘for my judgment
+is so confounded and disturbed, that I am hardly fit to throw crumbs to
+a cat.’ With this permission, Sancho addressing himself to the peasants,
+who had assembled around him, and waited his decision with open mouths,
+‘Brothers,’ said he, ‘the demand of Loggerhead will not hold water, and
+is indeed without the least shadow of justice; for if what all the world
+says be true, namely, that the challenged party has the choice of the
+weapons, it is not reasonable that the said Loggerhead should pretend to
+chuse such arms as will encumber his adversary, and secure the victory
+to himself; it is therefore my opinion, that Loggerhead, the challenger,
+shall scrape, shave, pare, polish, slice, and take away, one hundred and
+fifty pounds weight of his own individual flesh from different parts of
+his body, according to his own fancy and convenience; so that, leaving
+the other moiety, which will be sufficient to counterbalance his
+antagonist, the parties may run with equal advantage.’—‘’Fore God!’
+cried one of the countrymen, hearing this wise decision, ‘the gentleman
+has spoken like a saint, and given sentence like a canon; but, sure I
+am, Loggerhead will not part with an ounce, much less one hundred and
+fifty pounds of his flesh.’—‘The best part of the joke,’ replied another
+peasant, ‘is, that the match cannot be run; for Limberham will not touch
+a bar of iron, and Loggerhead will not pare himself; let us therefore
+spend the half of the money in treating these gentlemen at the tavern
+with some of the best wine; and, when it rains, let the shower fall upon
+my cloak.’—‘Gentlemen,’ said Don Quixote, ‘I thank you for your
+invitation, but I really cannot tarry a moment; for melancholy thoughts
+and unlucky adventures oblige me to appear uncivil on this occasion, and
+to travel faster than the ordinary pace.’ So saying, he clapped spurs to
+Rozinante, and set on; leaving them astonished in consequence of having
+seen and observed the strange figure of the master, and the sagacity of
+the servant, for such they supposed Sancho to be. One of them could not
+help saying, ‘If the servant is so wise, what must the master be? I’ll
+lay a wager if they go to study at Salamanca, they will in a trice be
+created alcaldes of the court; for it is nothing but children’s play,
+studying and poring, and having interest and good luck: and when a man
+thinks least about the matter, he finds himself with a white rod in his
+hand, or a mitre upon his head.’
+
+That night our adventurer and his squire passed in the middle of an open
+field, under the spacious cope of heaven; and next day, proceeding on
+their journey, they saw coming towards them a man on foot, with a
+javelin or half-pike in his hand, and a wallet on his back;
+circumstances from which they judged he was a post or courier. As he
+advanced he quickened his pace, and running to Don Quixote, embraced his
+right thigh, for he could reach no higher, exclaiming, with marks of
+extraordinary satisfaction, ‘O my good Signior Don Quixote! how will the
+heart of my lord duke be rejoiced when he knows your worship is
+returning to his castle, where he still continues with my lady
+duchess!’—‘Friend,’ said the knight, ‘I do not recollect your features,
+nor do I know who you are, unless you will be pleased to tell
+me.’—‘Signior Don Quixote,’ replied the courier, ‘I am my lord duke’s
+lacquey Tosilos, who refused to fight with your worship concerning the
+marriage of the duenna’s daughter.’—‘God in heaven protect me!’ cried
+the knight, ‘is it possible that you are he whom my enemies the
+enchanters transformed into that same lacquey you mention, to deprive me
+of the glory of that combat?’—‘No more of that, worthy Signior,’ replied
+the post; ‘there was no inchantment in the case, nor any sort of
+transformation; I was as much the lacquey Tosilos when I entered the
+lists, as when I left them. I thought the girl handsome, and therefore
+would have married her without fighting, but the event did not answer my
+expectation. Your worship was no sooner gone from the castle, than my
+lord duke ordered me to be severely bastinadoed, for having contradicted
+the instructions he had given me before I entered the lists; and this is
+the upshot of the whole affair: the girl is by this time a nun, Donna
+Rodriguez is gone back to Castile, and I am now bound for Barcelona with
+a packet of letters from his grace to the viceroy. If your worship is
+inclined to take a small draught of good wine, though not very cool, I
+have here a calabash full of the best, and some slices of Tronchon
+cheese, which will serve as provocatives and rouzers of thirst, if
+perchance it should be asleep.’—‘Your invitation is accepted,’ cried
+Sancho; ‘truce with your compliments and skink away, honest Tosilos,
+maugre and in despite of all the inchanters of the Indies.’—‘Verily,
+Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘thou art the most insatiate glutton in the
+universe, and the most ignorant animal upon earth: but, as thou art not
+persuaded that this courier is inchanted, and no other than a
+counterfeit Tosilos, thou mayst tarry along with him and fill thy belly,
+and I will jog on at a slow pace until thou shalt overtake me.’ The
+lacquey smiled at his infatuation, unsheathed his calabash, unwalletted
+his cheese, and producing a small loaf, he and Sancho sat down upon the
+grass, where in peace and harmony they dispatched and discussed the
+contents of the wallet with great perseverance and good-will, and even
+licked the packet, because it smelled of cheese. During the repast,
+Tosilos said to the squire, ‘Doubtless, friend Sancho, thy master is
+bankrupt in common-sense.’—‘How, bankrupt!’ answered Panza; ‘he owes no
+man a farthing, but pays like a prince, especially where madness is the
+current coin; I see the matter plain enough, and tell him my opinion
+freely: but to what purpose? Now, indeed, he is going home in despair,
+for having been vanquished by the Knight of the White Moon.’ Tosilos
+earnestly begged he would recount that adventure; but Sancho declined
+the talk, observing, that it would be unmannerly to let his master wait
+for him; though at their next meeting he should have more leisure. He
+accordingly started up, and shaking the crumbs from his garment and
+beard, bade adieu to Tosilos; then driving Dapple before him, soon came
+up with his master, whom he found waiting for him under the shade of a
+tree.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XV.
+ OF THE RESOLUTION WHICH DON QUIXOTE TOOK TO BECOME A SHEPHERD,
+ AND LEAD A PASTORAL LIFE
+ UNTIL THE TERM OF HIS CONFINEMENT SHOULD BE ELAPSED—
+ WITH OTHER INCIDENTS TRULY ENTERTAINING.
+
+
+If Don Quixote was perplexed with cogitation before his overthrow, much
+more was he fatigued by his own thoughts after his late misfortune.
+Under the shade of a tree, as we have already observed, did he remain,
+and there he was stung with reflections that swarmed like flies about
+honey; some dwelling upon the disinchantment of Dulcinea, and others
+revolving plans for the life he was to lead in his compulsive
+retirement. When Sancho joined him, and began to expatiate upon the
+liberal disposition of Tosilos, ‘Is it possible, O Sancho,’ said the
+knight, ‘that thou still believest that man to be the individual
+lacquey? One would think thou hadst forgot that thy own eyes have seen
+Dulcinea converted and transformed into a country wench, and the Knight
+of the Mirrours into the Bachelor Carrasco, by the wicked arts of those
+inchanters who persecute my virtue. But, tell me now didst thou ask
+Tosilos how Providence hath disposed of Altisidora? Hath she bewailed my
+absence, or already consigned to oblivion those amorous thoughts by
+which she was tormented during my residence at the castle?’—‘My
+thoughts,’ answered Sancho, ‘were not such as allowed me to ask these
+childish questions. Body O me! Signior, is your worship at present in a
+condition to enquire about other people’s thoughts, especially those you
+call amorous?’—‘Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘you must consider there is a
+wide difference between the suggestions of love, and those of gratitude:
+a gentleman may very well be insensible to love; but, strictly speaking,
+he can never be ungrateful. Altisidora, in all appearance, loved me to
+distraction: she, as thou very well knowest, made me a present of three
+night-caps; she bewailed my departure, loaded me with curses and
+reproach, and, in spite of maiden shame, complained of me in publick;
+undoubted proofs of my being the object of her adoration; for the
+indignation of lovers usually vents itself in maledictions. I had no
+hopes to give, nor treasures to offer; all my affections are yielded to
+Dulcinea; and the treasures of knights-errant are like those of the
+fairies, altogether phantom and illusion: all, therefore, that I can
+return, is a kind remembrance, without prejudice, however, to the memory
+of Dulcinea, who is greatly aggrieved by thy remissness in delaying to
+scourge and chastise that flesh which I hope will be a prey to the
+wolves; seeing thou seemed more inclined to reserve it for the worms,
+than to use it in behalf of that poor distressed lady.’—‘Signior,’
+answered the squire, ‘if the truth must be told, I cannot persuade
+myself that the whipping of my posteriors can have any effect in
+disenchanting those who are inchanted, no more than if we should anoint
+the shins to cure the head-ache; at least, I will venture to swear that
+in all the histories your worship has read concerning knight-errantry,
+you have never found that any person was disinchanted by such a
+whipping: but be that as it may, I will lay it on when I have time,
+convenience, and inclination, to make free with my own flesh.’—‘God
+grant thou mayst,’ said Don Quixote; ‘and Heaven give thee grace to
+understand and be sensible of the obligation thou liest under, to assist
+my mistress; who, as thou art mine, is thine also.’
+
+With such conversation they amused themselves in travelling, until they
+arrived at the very spot where they had been overturned by the bulls;
+when Don Quixote recognizing the ground, ‘This is the meadow,’ said he,
+‘where we met the gay shepherdesses and gallant swains, who sought to
+renew and re-act the pastoral Arcadia, a project equally original and
+ingenious; in imitation of which, shouldst thou approve of the scheme,
+we will assume the garb and employment of shepherds during the term of
+our retirement. I will purchase some sheep, together with all the
+necessary implements of a pastoral life, and taking the name of
+Quixotiz, while thou shalt bear that of the swain Pancino; we will
+stroll about through mountains, woods, and meadows, singing here,
+lamenting there, drinking liquid chrystal from the gelid springs, the
+limpid rills, and mighty rivers. The lofty oaks will shed upon us
+abundance of their delightful fruit; the trunks of hardest cork trees
+will yield us seats; the willows will afford us shade; the rose perfume;
+the extended meadow, carpets of a thousand dyes; the pure serenity of
+air will give us breath; the moon and stars will grant us light in spite
+of darkness; our singing will inspire delight; our lamentations, mirth;
+Apollo, verses; and Love himself, conceits to render us immortal and
+renowned, not only in the present age, but also to the latest
+posterity.’—‘Odds tens!’ cried Sancho, ‘such a life will square, aye,
+and be the very corner-stone of my wishes: the Batchelor Sampson
+Carrasco and Master Nicholas the barber, as soon as they have a glimpse
+of it, will wish to join us in the scheme, and turn shepherds for our
+company; and God grant that the curate himself may not take it in his
+head to enter the fold; for he is a merry companion, and a great friend
+to good fellowship.’—‘Thou hast a very good notion,’ said the knight;
+‘and if the batchelor shall be inclined to join our pastoral
+association, as he doubtless will, he may take the appellation of the
+shepherd Sansonino, or of the swain Carrascon: Nicholas the barber may
+be called Niculoso, as old Boscan called himself Nemoroso: and as for
+the curate, I know not what title we can confer upon him, except some
+derivative from his own name, such as the shepherd Curiambro. For the
+nymphs of whom we must be enamoured, there is plenty of names to chuse;
+but seeing that of my mistress will suit as well with a shepherdess as
+with a princess, I need not give myself the trouble to invent any other
+that might be more proper; as for thee, Sancho, thou mayest give thy
+mistress what appellation will please thy own fancy.’—‘I have no
+intention,’ replied the squire, ‘to give her any other than that of
+Teresona, which will fit her fatness to an hair, as well as be agreeable
+to her own name Teresa; especially as in celebrating her in verse, I
+shall disclose my chaste desires, without going in search of fine bread
+in a neighbour’s house: the curate would be in the wrong to chuse a
+shepherdess, because he ought to set a good example to his flock; and as
+for the batchelor, if he has any such inclination, Let him please his
+own soul, without lett or controul.’
+
+‘Good Heaven! friend Sancho,’ said Don Quixote, ‘what a life shall we
+lead! how will our ears be regaled with pipes and bagpipes of Zamora,
+tambourines, timbrels, and rebecks! and if these different kinds of
+musick be reinforced with the sound of the albogues, we shall have a
+full concert of all the pastoral instruments.’—‘And pray what are the
+albogues?’ said Sancho, ‘I never saw nor heard them named before, in the
+whole course of my life.’—‘Albogues,’ answered the knight, ‘are plates
+of brass resembling candlesticks, the hollow parts of which being
+clashed together produce a sound, if not ravishing or harmonious, at
+least not disagreeable nor unsuited to the rusticity of the bagpipe and
+tabor. The name of _albogues_ is Moorish, as are all the words in our
+language beginning with _al_; for example, _almoaca_, _almorcar_,
+_alhombra_, _alguazil_, _alucima_, _almacen_, _alcanzia_, and a few
+others; and we have only three Moorish words ending in _i_, namely,
+_borcegui_, _zaquicami_, and _maravedi_; as for _alheli_ and _alsaqui_,
+they are known to be Arabick, as well from their beginning with _al_, as
+for their ending in _i_: these observations I have made, by the bye, in
+consequence of having mentioned _albogues_, which recalled them to my
+remembrance. But, to return to our scheme, nothing will conduce so much
+to the perfection of it, as my having a talent for versification, as
+thou very well knowest, and the batchelor’s being an excellent poet. Of
+the curate I shall say nothing; though I would lay a good wager that his
+collars and points are truly poetical: and that Master Nicholas is in
+the same fashion I do not at all doubt; for people of his profession are
+famous for making ballads and playing on the guittar. For my own part, I
+will complain of absence; thou wilt extol the constancy of thy own love;
+the swain Carrascon will lament the disdain of his mistress; the curate
+Curiambro chuse his own subject; and every thing proceed in such a
+manner as to fulfil the warmest wishes.’
+
+To this effusion Sancho replied, ‘Verily, Signior, I am such an unlucky
+wretch, that I am afraid the time will never come when I shall see
+myself in that blessed occupation. O what delicate wooden spoons shall I
+make when I am a shepherd! O what crumbs and cream shall I devour! O
+what garlands and pastoral nick-nacks shall I contrive! and though these
+may not, perhaps, add much to my reputation for wisdom, they will not
+fail to convince the world of my ingenuity. My daughter Sanchica shall
+bring our victuals to the fold; but ’ware mischief! the wench is buxom,
+and there are some shepherds more knavish than simple; I would not have
+her come out for wool and go home shorn. Those same amours, and unruly
+desires, are gratified in the open field as well as in the city chamber,
+in a shepherd’s cot as well as in a royal palace. The sin will cease
+when the temptation is removed; The heart will not grieve for what the
+eye does not perceive; and, What prayers ne’er can gain, a leap from a
+hedge will obtain.’ ‘No more of your proverbs, Sancho,’ said Don
+Quixote; ‘any one of those thou hast repeated is sufficient to explain
+thy meaning; and I have often exhorted thee to be less prodigal of old
+saws, and keep them more under command; but, I see, it is like preaching
+to the desart: and My mother whips me, and I scourge the top.’—‘Under
+correction,’ answered the squire, ‘your worship, methinks, is like the
+frying-pan which called to the pot, “Avaunt black-a-moor, avaunt!” Even
+in the very act of rebuking me for uttering proverbs, your worship
+strings them together in pairs.’—‘But, then, you must consider, Sancho,’
+said Don Quixote, ‘that when I use them, they are seasonably brought in,
+and fit the purpose as the ring fits the finger: whereas, by thee, they
+are not brought in, but lugged in, as it were, by the head and
+shoulders. If my memory fails me not, I have formerly told thee, that
+proverbs are short sentences extracted from the experience and
+speculation of ancient sages; and a proverb unseasonably introduced, is
+rather an absurdity than a judicious apothegm. But let us quit the
+subject, and, as the day is already spent, retire from the highway to
+some place where we may pass the night; for God alone knows what will be
+to-morrow.’
+
+They accordingly retired to a grove, where they made a late and very
+indifferent supper, to the no small mortification of Sancho, who
+ruefully reflected upon the meagre commons of chivalry, so uncomfortably
+discussed among woods and mountains; though his imagination was also
+regaled with the remembrance of that abundance which he had enjoyed at
+the castle, as well as at the wedding of the rich Camacho, and in the
+houses of Don Diego de Miranda, and Don Antonio de Moreno: but, finally,
+considering it could not be always day, or always night, he resolved,
+for the present, to sleep, while his master indulged his contemplations
+awake.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XVI.
+ OF THE BRISTLY ADVENTURE IN WHICH DON QUIXOTE WAS INVOLVED.
+
+
+The night was a little dark; for, although the moon was in the heavens,
+she was invisible to the people of our hemisphere, Madam Diana having
+taken a trip to the Antipodes, and left our mountains obumbrated and our
+vallies obscured.
+
+Don Quixote, in compliance with nature, enjoyed his first sleep without
+indulging himself in a second, quite contrary to the practice of Sancho,
+who never desired a second, because the first always lasted from night
+till morning; a sure sign of little care, and an excellent constitution.
+As for the knight, his cares interfered so much with his repose, that he
+wakened his squire, to whom he said, ‘I am amazed, Sancho, at the
+indifference of thy disposition, and imagine thou art made of marble or
+obdurate brass, unsusceptible of sentiment or emotion. I watch whilst
+thou art snoring; I weep whilst thou art singing; I faint with fasting,
+whilst thou art overloaded and out of breath with eating! It is the
+province of a good servant to sympathize with his master’s pain, and to
+share his anguish, even for the sake of decorum. Observe the serenity of
+the sky and the solitude of the place, which invite us to make an
+intermission in our repose. I conjure thee, by thy life, to rise and go
+aside to some proper place, where, with good will and grateful
+inclination, thou mayest conveniently inflict upon thyself three or four
+hundred stripes, on account of Dulcinea’s inchantment; and this favour I
+humbly request, without any intention to try again the strength of thine
+arms, which I know to be heavy and robust: after the performance of that
+task, we will pass the remainder of the night in harmony; I, in singing
+the torments of absence, and thou, in chanting the constancy of thy
+passion; and thus will we begin the pastoral life which we are to lead
+at our own village.’—‘Signior,’ answered the squire, ‘I am no monk, to
+rise and discipline my flesh in the middle of the night; nor do I think
+the extremity of pain is such a provocative to musick; I therefore
+desire your worship will let me take out my nap, without pressing me
+farther to scourge myself, lest I should grow desperate, and solemnly
+swear never to whip the nap of my garment, much less an hair of my
+skin.’—‘Soul of a savage! flinty-hearted squire!’ cried Don Quixote: ‘O
+ill-bestowed bread! O ill-requited benefits, intended or conferred! By
+my means wast thou created governor; and through me alone dost thou now
+enjoy the near prospect of being a count, or something else of equal
+title; nor will the accomplishment of thy wishes be retarded longer than
+the term of one fleeting year; for, _Post tenebras spero lucem_.’—‘Your
+conclusion,’ said Sancho, ‘I do not understand; but well I know, that
+while I sleep, I am troubled neither with fear nor hope, nor toil nor
+glory; and praise be to him who invented sleep, which is the mantle that
+shrouds all human thoughts; the food that dispels hunger; the drink that
+quenches thirst; the fire that warms the cold; the cool breeze that
+moderates heat; in a word, the general coin that purchases every
+commodity; the weight and balance that makes the shepherd even with his
+sovereign, and the simple with the sage: there is only one bad
+circumstance, as I have heard, in sleep, it resembles death; inasmuch as
+between a dead corpse and a sleeping man there is no apparent
+difference.’—‘Truly, Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘I never heard thee talk
+so elegantly before, whence I perceive the truth of the proverb which
+thou hast often repeated, Not he with whom you was bred, but he by whom
+you are fed.’—‘Odds my life! Sir master of mine,’ cried Sancho, ‘I am
+not the only person who strings proverbs: they fall from your worship’s
+mouth in couples, faster than from mine; indeed, there is some
+difference; for your worship’s proverbs come at a proper time, whereas
+mine are always out of season; but, nevertheless, they are all
+proverbs.’
+
+Thus far the conversation had proceeded, when they heard a dull confused
+noise, intermingled with very harsh sounds, that seemed to extend
+through the whole valley. The knight immediately started up and
+unsheathed his sword; while the squire squatted down under Dapple,
+fencing himself on each side with his master’s armour and the pannel of
+the ass, being as much afraid as Don Quixote was astonished; for the
+noise increased every moment, as the cause of it approached the two
+tremblers, or rather one trembler, for the other’s valour and courage
+are well known. The case, in fact, was this: some dealers were driving
+about six hundred hogs to a fair; and, as they travelled in the night,
+the noise of their feet, together with their grunting and blowing, made
+such a din, as almost deafened Don Quixote and Sancho, who could not
+conceive the meaning of such an uproar. Meanwhile, the numerous grunting
+herd advanced; and, without shewing the least respect to the authority
+of Don Quixote or Sancho, ran over them in a twinkling, demolished the
+barricadoes of the squire, and trampled down not only the master, but
+also his steed Rozinante; the thronging, the grunting, and the hurry of
+those unclean animals, throwing every thing in confusion, and strewing
+the master and the man, the horse and the ass, the pannel and the
+armour, along the ground. Sancho, getting up as well as he could,
+demanded his master’s sword, in order to sacrifice half a dozen of those
+discourteous gentlemen porkers; for by this time he had discovered what
+they were; but the knight refused to grant his request, saying, ‘Let
+them pass, friend Sancho; this affront is the punishment of my crime;
+and the just chastisement of Heaven inflicted upon a vanquished knight,
+is, that he shall be devoured by dogs, stung by wasps, and trampled upon
+by swine.’—‘At that rate, then,’ replied the squire, ‘the chastisement
+which Heaven inflicts upon squires of vanquished knight-errants, is,
+that they shall be bitten by fleas, devoured by lice, and assaulted by
+famine: if we squires were sons of the knights we serve, or even their
+near relations, it would be no great wonder if the punishment of our
+faults should overtake us to the fourth generation: but what affinity is
+there between the Panzas and the Quixotes? At present let us put things
+to rights again, so that we may sleep out the remainder of the night,
+and we shall be in better plight when God sends us a new day.’—‘Enjoy
+thy repose,’ said Don Quixote; ‘thou wast born to sleep and I to watch;
+and during the little of night that remains, I will give my thoughts the
+rein, and cool the furnace of my reflections with a short madrigal,
+which I have this evening, unknown to thee, composed in my own
+mind.’—‘In my opinion,’ answered the squire, ‘your thoughts could not be
+very troublesome and unruly, if they gave you leisure to make couplets;
+but, however, your worship may couple as many as you please, and I will
+sleep as much as I can.’ So saying, he chose his ground, on which he
+huddled himself up, and enjoyed a most profound sleep, which received no
+interruption from the remembrance of debt, surety, or any other
+grievance. As for Don Quixote, he leaned against a beech or cork-tree;
+for Cid Hamet Benengeli has not distinguished the genus; and, to the
+musick of his own sighs, sung the following stanzas.
+
+
+ I.
+
+ ‘O cruel love! when I endure
+ The dreadful vengeance of thy bow,
+ I fly to death, the only cure
+ For such immensity of woe.
+
+
+ II.
+
+ ‘But, when I touch the peaceful goal,
+ That port secure from storms of strife,
+ The fight revives my drooping soul,
+ I cannot enter for my life!
+
+
+ III.
+
+ ‘Thus life exhausts my vital flame,
+ But death still keeps the spark alive;
+ O wond’rous fate! unknown to fame!
+ That life should kill, and death revive.’
+
+Every verse he accompanied with a multitude of sighs and a torrent of
+tears, as if his heart had been transpierced with grief for his
+overthrow and the absence of Dulcinea. In this situation he was found by
+the day, when Phœbus darting his rays into Sancho’s eyes, the squire
+awoke, yawned, turned, stretched his lazy limbs, and surveying the
+havock which the swine had made in his store, he bitterly cursed the
+whole herd; aye, and even went farther with his maledictions.
+
+Then the two proceeded in their journey; and, towards the close of the
+afternoon, descried about ten men on horseback, and half that number on
+foot, advancing towards them; a sight which made the knight’s heart
+throb with surprize, and the squire’s with terror; for this company was
+armed with lance and target, and approached in a very hostile manner.
+Don Quixote turning to his squire, ‘Sancho,’ said he, ‘if I could now
+exercise my arms, and my hands were not tied by a solemn promise, I
+would look upon that machine, which comes upon us, with contempt, as so
+much cake and gingerbread; but, perhaps, it may be something else than
+we apprehend.’ He had scarce pronounced these words, when the horsemen
+coming up, and couching their lances, surrounded him in a trice; then
+clapping the points of their weapons to his back and breast, seemed to
+threaten immediate death and destruction; while one of those on foot,
+laying his finger on his mouth, as a signal for him to be silent, seized
+Rozinante’s bridle, and led him out of the highway. The rest of the
+footpads drove Sancho and Dapple before them, and, while a wonderful
+silence prevailed, followed the knight, who attempted twice or thrice to
+ask whither they conducted him, and what they wanted; but scarce had he
+began to move his lips when they threatened to shut them for ever with
+the points of their spears. The same menaces were practiced upon Sancho,
+who no sooner expressed a desire to be talking, than he was pricked in
+the posteriors with a goad by one of his attendants; and Dapple met with
+the same fate, as if he too had made a motion to speak, like his master.
+
+As night approached they quickened their pace, and the terrors of the
+captives increased in proportion as the darkness deepened, especially as
+their guard pronounced from time to time, ‘Dispatch, ye Troglodytes!
+silence, ye Barbarians! now ye shall suffer, ye Antropophagi! not a word
+of complaint, ye Scythians! open not your eyes, ye murderous
+Polyphemuses! ye carnivorous lions and beasts of prey.’ With these and
+other such appellations, they tormented the ears of the miserable master
+and the forlorn Sancho, who said within himself, ‘Draggle doits! Barber
+Anns! Henry puff a Jay! City hens! and Paulfamouses! these are fine
+names with a vengeance! I’m afraid this is a bad wind for winnowing our
+corn! the mischief comes upon us altogether, like drubbing to a dog; and
+I wish this misventrous adventure, that threatens so dismally, may end
+in nothing worse!’ As for Don Quixote, he was utterly astonished and
+confounded; nor could he, with all his reflection, comprehend the
+meaning of his own captivity, and those reproachful terms, from which he
+could only conclude, that no good but a great deal of mischief was to be
+expected. In this state of anxious suspense he continued till about an
+hour after it was dark, when they arrived at a castle; which the knight
+immediately recognizing to be the duke’s habitation, where he had so
+lately resided, ‘Good Heaven!’ cried he, ‘where will this adventure end!
+surely this is the dwelling place of politeness and hospitality; but to
+those who are vanquished, good is converted into bad, and bad to worse.’
+This ejaculation he uttered as they entered the court of the castle,
+which was decorated in a strange manner that increased their admiration,
+and redoubled their fear, as will be seen in the following chapter.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XVII.
+ OF THE MOST SINGULAR AND STRANGEST ADVENTURE THAT HAPPENED TO DON
+ QUIXOTE IN THE WHOLE COURSE OF THIS SUBLIME HISTORY.
+
+
+The horsemen alighting, with the assistance of those who were on foot,
+snatched up the bodies of Don Quixote and Sancho, and carried them
+hastily into the court of the castle, round which above a hundred
+flaming torches were placed, and the corridores of the court were
+illuminated by five hundred tapers, shining with such a blaze, that, in
+spite of the night, which was dark, there was no want of the day. In the
+middle of the court appeared a monument raised about two yards from the
+ground, and covered with a spacious canopy of black velvet; and, upon
+the steps that led up to it, above a hundred tapers of virgin wax stood
+burning in silver candlesticks. On the tomb lay the body of a young
+damsel, whose beauty was such as rendered death itself beautiful; her
+head was raised on a cushion of brocade, and crowned with a garland of
+various odoriferous flowers; and in her hands, that were crossed upon
+her breast, appeared a bough of green victorious palm. On one side of
+the court was erected a theatre, on which were seated two personages,
+whom their crowns and sceptres declared to be either real or fictitious
+kings; and hard by the theatre, which was furnished with steps, two
+other chairs, upon which Don Quixote and Sancho were seated by their
+captors, who still maintained their former silence, the observance of
+which they likewise recommended, by signs, to our hero and his squire;
+though these injunctions were altogether superfluous; for their
+astonishment at what they saw, had effectually tied their tongues; and,
+indeed, how could they help being astonished at sight of this apparatus!
+considering, too, that by this time the knight had discovered the dead
+body on the tomb to be no other than the beauteous Altisidora? At this
+juncture, two noble personages, with a numerous retinue, ascended the
+theatre, and seated themselves in magnificent chairs, hard by the
+figures that were crowned; then Don Quixote and Sancho, perceiving the
+new comers to be their former entertainers, the duke and duchess, rose
+up and bowed with great veneration, and their graces, rising also,
+returned the compliment with a slight inclination of the head. And now
+an officer crossing the court, and approaching Sancho, threw over him a
+robe of black buckram, painted all over with flames of fire; at the same
+time pulling off his cap, he put upon his head one of those pasteboard
+mitres which are worn by the penitents of the holy office; and in a
+whisper advised him to keep his lips fast sewed together, unless he had
+a mind to be gagged or put to death without mercy. Sancho surveyed
+himself from head to foot, and saw his robe in flames; but as they did
+not burn, he valued them not a farthing; then he took off his mitre, and
+perceiving it figured with pictures of fiends, set it on his head again,
+saying to himself, ‘As the flames do not burn, and the fiends do not fly
+away with me, I am very well satisfied.’ Don Quixote likewise surveyed
+the squire; and, although his reflection was still disturbed with fear
+and suspense, could not help smiling at the ludicrous figure.
+
+Sancho being thus equipped, a low yet agreeable sound of flutes seemed
+to issue from beneath the tomb, and being uninterrupted by any human
+voice, for here silence itself kept silence, produced a very soft and
+pleasing melody. Then all of a sudden, a beautiful youth, in a Roman
+habit, appeared close by the cushion on which the seemingly dead body
+reposed, and to the sound of the harp on which he himself played, with a
+sweet harmonious voice he sung the two following stanzas—
+
+
+
+ I.
+
+ ‘Till fair Altisidora, slain
+ By Quixote’s cruelty, return;
+ And all th’ inchanted female train
+ Her hapless fate in sack-cloth mourn;
+ Until duennas clad in baize
+ Appear in presence of her grace,
+ I’ll celebrate the nymph in lays
+ That would not shame the bard of Thrace.
+
+
+ II.
+
+ ‘Nor shall thy beauty fade unsung,
+ When life forsakes my gelid veins;
+ My clay-cold lips and frozen tongue,
+ In death shall raise immortal strains.
+ My soul when freed from cumb’rous clay,
+ Her flight o’er Stygian waves shall take;
+ And while on Lethe’s banks I stray,
+ My song shall charm th’ oblivious lake.’
+
+Here he was interrupted by one of the two pretended kings; who
+said—‘Enough, divine songster! it would be an infinite task to describe
+the death and beauties of the peerless Altisidora, not dead as the
+ignorant world imagines, but alive in the voice of fame, and in the
+penance which Sancho Panza here present must undergo, in order to
+restore her to the light she has lost; and therefore, O Rhadamanthus!
+who sittest with me in judgment, within the gloomy caverns of Lethe, as
+thou art intimately acquainted with all the determinations of the
+inscrutable fates, touching the revival of this damsel, relate and
+declare them without loss of time, that we may no longer delay that
+happiness which we expect from her recovery.’
+
+Scarce had Minos pronounced these words, when his fellow-judge and
+companion Rhadamanthus stood up, saying—‘So ho! ye ministers of this
+house, high and low, great and small, come hither one by one, and mark
+the face, the arms, and loins of Sancho, with two dozen of tweaks, one
+dozen of pinches, and half a dozen pricks with a pin; for upon this
+execution depends the revival of Altisidora.’ Sancho Panza hearing this
+sentence, broke silence, and exclaimed aloud—‘I vow to God, I will
+sooner turn Turk, than allow my face to be marked or my flesh to be
+handled in any such manner. Body o’ me! what has the pinching of my face
+to do with the resurrection of that damsel. The old woman has got a
+liquorish tooth, forsooth, and she is still licking her fingers.
+Dulcinea is inchanted, and I must be scourged for the disinchantment of
+her ladyship: Altisidora is dead by the hand of God, and in order to
+bring her to life, I must suffer two dozen of tweaks, my body must be
+pinked into a sieve with large pins, and my arms pinched into all the
+colours of the rainbow! Such jokes may pass upon a brother-in-law; but I
+am an old dog, and will not be coaxed with a crust.’—‘Then thou shalt
+die,’ cried Rhadamanthus with an audible voice. ‘Tame that savage heart
+of thine, thou tyger; humble thyself, thou proud Nimrod! suffer and be
+silent. We ask not impossibilities, and therefore thou must not pretend
+to examine the difficulties of this affair: tweaked thou shalt be;
+pinked shalt thou find thyself, and pinched until thy groans declare
+thine anguish.—So ho! I say, ye ministers! execute my command, or by the
+faith of an honest man, you shall see for what you were born!’
+
+In consequence of this summons, six duennas came walking through the
+court yard in procession, one by one, the four first with spectacles,
+and each with her right-arm raised, about four inches of the wrist being
+bared according to the present fashion, that the hand may seem the
+larger. Sancho no sooner beheld these matrons, than he began to bellow
+like a bull; exclaiming—‘I might have allowed myself to be handled by
+all the world besides, but that duennas should touch me I will by no
+means consent! they may cat-claw my face, as my master was served in
+this very castle; they may run me through the guts with daggers of
+steel; they may tear the flesh off my arms with red-hot pincers; all
+these tortures will I bear patiently, for the service of these noble
+persons: but I say again, the devil shall fly away with me before I
+suffer a duenna to lay a finger on my carcase!’ Then Don Quixote
+addressing himself to Sancho, broke silence in these terms—‘Exert thy
+patience, my son, for the satisfaction of these noble personages, and
+give thanks to Heaven, which hath indued thy person with such virtue,
+that by the martyrdom of thy flesh, the inchanted are delivered from
+inchantment, and even the dead revived.’
+
+By this time the duennas had surrounded Sancho; who, being softened and
+persuaded, seated himself in a proper posture, and held out his face and
+beard to the first, who treated him with a well-planted twitch, and then
+dropped a profound curtsey. ‘Less courtesy, less anointing, good Madam
+Duenna,’ cried the squire; ‘for, by the Lord, your fingers smack of
+vinegar!’ In a word, he was tweaked by all the duennas, and pinched by a
+great number of other persons belonging to the family: but what he could
+by no means be brought to endure, was the puncture with pins, which they
+no sooner began to perform, than starting up in a rage, and seizing a
+lighted torch that stood near him, he assaulted the duennas, and all the
+rest of his executioners, crying—‘Avaunt, ye ministers of hell! I am not
+made of brass, to be insensible to such torture.’ At this instant,
+Altisidora, who must have been tired with lying so long upon her back,
+turned herself on one side; and this motion was no sooner perceived by
+the spectators, than all of them exclaimed, as if with one voice,
+‘Altisidora moves! Altisidora lives!’ Then Rhadamanthus desired Sancho
+to lay aside his indignation, seeing the intended aim was already
+accomplished.
+
+Don Quixote seeing Altisidora stirring, fell upon his knees before
+Sancho, saying—‘Now is the time, dear son of my bowels, and no longer my
+squire! now is the time to inflict upon thyself some of those lashes
+thou art obliged to undergo for the disinchantment of Dulcinea. This, I
+say, is the time, when thy virtue is seasoned, and of efficacy
+sufficient to perform the cure which we expect from thy compliance.’ To
+this apostrophe the squire replied—‘This is reel upon reel, and not
+honey upon pancakes; scourging, to be sure, is a very agreeable dessert
+to a dish of twitches, pinches, and pin-prickings. There is no more to
+be done, but to take and tie a great stone about my neck, and toss me
+into a well; it will be much better for me to die at once, than to be
+always the wedding-heifer, to remedy the misfortunes of other people:
+either let me live in peace! or, before God, all shall out, sell or not
+sell.’
+
+By this time Altisidora sat upright on the tomb, and at that instant the
+waits beginning to play, were accompanied by the musick of flutes, and
+the voices of all the spectators, who acclaimed—‘Live Altisidora!
+Altisidora live!’ The duke and duchess, together with Minos and
+Rhadamanthus, rising from their seats, and being joined by Don Quixote
+and Sancho, went to receive this young lady, and help her in descending
+from the tomb; while, they were thus employed, she assumed a languid and
+fainting air, and inclining her head towards the duke and duchess and
+the two kings, darted a sidelong glance to Don Quixote, saying—‘God
+forgive thee, unrelenting knight! by thy cruelty I have been doomed to
+remain, as I believe, above a thousand years in the other world! but as
+for thee, thou most compassionate squire that this wide earth contains!
+I thank thee kindly for that life I now enjoy. From this day, friend
+Sancho, thou mayest command six of my shifts to be converted into shirts
+for thy own body; and if they are not quite whole, at least they are
+white and clean.’ Sancho thanked her for the present, with mitre in hand
+and knee on ground; and when the duke ordered his servants to take away
+those badges of disgrace, and restore his own cap and coat, the squire
+entreated his grace to let him keep the mitre and the flaming robe, and
+carry them to his own country, as a mark and memorial of this
+incredible, adventure. To this supplication the duchess replied, that he
+might keep these testimonials, for he knew how much she was his friend.
+
+The duke ordered the court to be cleared, the company to retire to their
+several chambers, and the knight and squire to be conduced to the
+apartments which they had formerly occupied.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XVIII.
+ WHICH FOLLOWS THE PRECEDING, AND TREATS OF MATTERS THAT MUST BE
+ DISCLOSED, IN ORDER TO MAKE THE HISTORY THE MORE INTELLIGIBLE AND
+ DISTINCT.
+
+
+Sancho slept that night in a truckle-bed, in the apartment of Don
+Quixote; a circumstance which he would have waved, if possible, because
+he well knew his master would keep him awake with questions and replies,
+and he was not at all in a talkative humour; for the pain of his past
+sufferings kept them still present in his fancy, depriving his tongue of
+its usual freedom; and he would have much rather slept alone in a hut,
+than in the richest chamber thus accompanied. His apprehension was so
+true, and his suspicions so just, that scarce had his master committed
+his body to the bed, when he accosted the squire in these words: ‘What
+is thy opinion, Sancho, of this night’s adventure? Great and powerful is
+the force of amorous disdain, as thou hast seen with thy own eyes.
+Altisidora dead—not by shaft, or sword, or warlike instrument, or mortal
+poison, but solely by the reflection of that rigour and disdain with
+which I have always treated her advances.’—‘She might have died in good
+time, when and how she thought proper,’ cried Sancho, ‘and left me in
+quiet at my own house, seeing I never treated her either with love or
+disdain in the whole course of my life; for my own part, I neither know,
+nor can I conceive, as I have formerly observed, what the health or life
+of such a whimsical girl as Altisidora has to do with the martyrdom of
+Sancho Panza: but now at length I can clearly and distinctly perceive,
+that this world actually abounds with inchanters and inchantments, from
+which I pray God may deliver me, since I cannot deliver myself! in the
+mean time, I humbly beseech your worship to let me sleep, without
+farther question, if you have not a mind to see me throw myself out of
+the window.’—‘Sleep, then, friend Sancho,’ said the knight, ‘if thou
+canst enjoy the benefit of slumber after the pinching, twitching, and
+pricking thou hast undergone.’—‘No pain is comparable to that of the
+twitching,’ replied the squire; ‘for no other reason, but because it was
+inflicted by duennas, whom God in heaven confound! I again intreat your
+worship to leave me to my repose, for deep is a remedy for those
+miseries which we feel when awake.’—‘Be it so,’ said the knight, ‘and
+the Lord make thy sleep refreshing!’
+
+While these two are left to their repose, Cid Hamet, author of this
+sublime history, takes occasion to explain the motives that induced the
+duke and duchess to raise the edifice of the adventure above related. He
+says, the batchelor Sampson Carrasco still remembering how, as Knight of
+the Mirrours, he had been vanquished and overthrown by Don Quixote, and
+his whole design blotted and defaced by that unlucky fall and defeat, he
+resolved to try his fortune once more, in hope of meeting with better
+success; and learning where the knight was, from the information of the
+page who carried the letter and the present to Sancho’s wife Teresa
+Panza, he purchased a new suit of armour and a horse, ordered a white
+moon to be painted on his shield, and fastened the whole cargo on the
+back of an he-mule, which was conducted by a certain ploughman, and not
+by his old squire Tom Cecial, lest he should be known by Sancho or Don
+Quixote. With this equipage he set out for the duke’s castle, where he
+was informed of the knight’s motions and route, together with his
+intention to assist at the tournament in Saragossa. His grace likewise
+gave him an account of the jokes they had executed upon our adventurer,
+with the contrivance of Dulcinea’s disinchantment, to be effected at the
+expence of Sancho’s posteriors. Nor did he forget to relate the trick
+which Sancho had practised on his master, in making him believe that
+Dulcinea was inchanted and transformed into a country-wench; as also how
+my lady duchess had persuaded the squire that Dulcinea was really and
+truly inchanted and transformed, and he himself the person that was
+mistaken and deceived: particulars which afforded abundance of mirth to
+the batchelor, who could not help admiring afresh the mixture of
+archness and simplicity in Sancho, as well as the unaccountable madness
+of Don Quixote. The duke begged he would return that way and communicate
+his success, whether he should be vanquished or victor. Sampson, having
+promised to comply with his request, set out in quest of our knight;
+and, as he did not find him in Saragossa, proceeded to Barcelona, where
+he met with the adventure we have already related in its proper place:
+then he returned to the duke’s castle, where he gave an account of the
+whole engagement, and the conditions of the combat; in consequence of
+which Don Quixote was already on his return, to fulfil, like a worthy
+knight-errant, the promise he had made to reside at his own habitation
+for the term of one year, during which, the batchelor said, he might
+possibly be cured of his madness. He declared this was his sole motive
+for disguising himself in such a manner, as it was a thousand pities
+that a gentleman of Don Quixote’s excellent understanding should
+continue under the influence of such infatuation. He accordingly took
+his leave of the duke, and returned to his own country, in full hope
+that the knight was not far behind.
+
+From this information, his grace took the opportunity to connive this
+last adventure, so much was he delighted with the behaviour of Sancho
+and Don Quixote. He ordered a great number of his people on horseback
+and a-foot, to scour the country far and near, and a patrole through
+every road by which he thought the knight could possibly return, with
+orders to bring him to the castle, either by fair means or foul.
+Accordingly, when they found him, they gave notice to his grace, who
+having already pre-concerted what was to be done, no sooner heard of his
+coming than he directed that the torches and tapers should be lighted
+around the court, and Altisidora placed upon the tomb, together with all
+the apparatus already described; which was so naturally and artfully
+executed, that it differed very little from the real truth. Nay, Cid
+Hamet moreover observes, that he looked upon the jokers to be as mad as
+those who were joked; and the duke and duchess to be within
+two-fingers-breadth of lunacy, seeing they placed such happiness in
+playing pranks upon two confirmed madmen; one of whom the new day found
+sleeping at full snore, and the other watching over his disastrous
+thoughts, and very impatient to quit his couch; for, whether vanquished
+or victor, Don Quixote never took pleasure in lolling on the lazy down.
+
+It was now that Altisidora, who in the knight’s opinion had returned
+from death, in compliance with the humour of her lord and lady, entered
+his apartment crowned with the same garland she had worn on the tomb,
+clad in a robe of white taffety powdered with flowers of gold, her hair
+flowing loose upon her shoulders, and supporting herself upon a staff of
+fine polished black ebony. This apparition discomposed our hero to such
+a degree, that he shrunk within his nest in silent confusion, and almost
+covered himself wholly with the sheets, fully determined against making
+any return of compliment. Meanwhile, Altisidora sitting down upon a
+chair, at his bed’s head, heaved a profound sigh, and thus addressed
+herself to him, in a faint and tender tone—‘When women of fashion, and
+damsels of reserve, trample upon honour, and give their tongues the
+liberty to break through all inconveniences, so as to divulge the
+secrets which their hearts conceal, their condition must be desperate
+indeed. I am one of those, Signior Don Quixote de La Mancha; sorely
+hampered, vanquished, and enamoured; but withal so patient and modest,
+that my soul broke through my silence, and I lost my life: in
+consequence of thy rigour, O flinty-hearted knight! more deaf than
+marble to my complaints, have I been dead for two days, or at least
+supposed to be dead by those who saw me; and if love, in pity to my
+fate, had not deposited a remedy in the tortures of that worthy squire,
+I should have remained for ever in the other world.’—‘Love,’ said
+Sancho, ‘might as well have deposited the remedy in the tortures of my
+ass, and I should have thanked him for it heartily: but pray, Madam,
+tell me, so may Heaven send you a kinder lover than my master, what did
+you see in the other world? What is going forward in hell? for surely
+those who die in despair must go to that baiting-place.’—‘To tell you
+the truth,’ answered Altisidora, ‘I could not be quite dead, seeing I
+did not enter the infernal regions; for, had I been once fairly
+introduced, I could not have left the place again, whatever inclination
+I might have had to return. The truth is, I went no farther than the
+gate, where I saw about a dozen devils playing at tennis, in their
+drawers and doublets, having bands edged with Flanders lace, and ruffles
+of the same at their wrists, which were naked to the length of four
+inches, in order to enlarge the appearance of their hands, in which they
+wielded rackets of fire: but what I chiefly admired was, that instead of
+balls, they made use of books, which seemed to be filled with wind and
+flocks; a circumstance equally new and surprizing! and yet there was
+another particular which still increased my astonishment; for, whereas
+among the gamesters of this world, it is natural for the winners to be
+merry, and for the losers to be sad; in that diabolical pastime, all the
+players growled and grumbled, and cursed one another.’—‘That is not to
+be wondered at,’ replied the squire; ‘for the devils, play or not play,
+win or not win, can never be content.’—‘That must certainly be the
+case,’ answered Altisidora; ‘but there was likewise another peculiarity
+at which I wonder, I mean, at which I then wondered; namely, that after
+the first toss, the ball was useless, and could not be used a second
+time; so that they whirled them away, new and old, in a marvellous
+manner. On one of these, which was finely gilt and lettered, they
+bestowed such a violent stroke, that the guts flew out in scattered
+leaves. “What book is that?” said one devil to his fellow. The other
+answered, that it was the second part of the history of Don Quixote de
+La Mancha, composed not by the original author Cid Hamet, but by an
+Arragonian, who calls himself a native of Tordesillas. “Away with it!”
+cried the first, “plunge it into the lowest abyss of hell, that mine
+eyes may never behold it again.”—“What, is it so bad!” said the second.
+“So very bad,” replied the other, “that if I myself had endeavoured to
+make it worse, it would not have been in my power.” They proceeded with
+their play, driving about the unfortunate books; and I hearing them
+mention Don Quixote, whom I love and adore, endeavoured to retain the
+vision in my memory.’—‘A vision it must have been, without all doubt,’
+said Don Quixote; ‘for there is no other I in the whole world; and as
+for that history, it is bandied from hand to hand, without finding a
+resting place, and every body has a fling at the author: nor am I in the
+least mortified to hear that I wander like a fantastick shadow through
+the dark abodes of hell, as well as through the enlightened mansions of
+this globe, as I am not the person recorded in that history; which, were
+it elegant, faithful, and authentick, would live for ages; but, being
+false and execrable as it is, there will be no great distance between
+its birth and burial.’
+
+Altisidora was going to proceed with her lamentations, when she was
+prevented by the knight; who said, with great solemnity, ‘I have often
+told you, Madam, that I am sorry you have placed your affection upon me,
+who can make no other return than that of gratitude and thanks; I was
+born for Dulcinea del Toboso; and the Fates, if such there be, have
+consecrated me for her service; so that to imagine any other beauty
+shall ever occupy the place which she possesses in my heart, is to
+suppose a mere impossibility. Let this declaration, therefore, undeceive
+and prevail upon you to retire within the limits of virtue and decorum,
+seeing no man is obliged to perform impossibilities.’ Altisidora, in
+consequence of this repulse, assumed an air of indignation, and in an
+affected transport of rage, exclaimed, ‘How now, Don Stockfish! soul of
+a mortar! stone of a date! more positive and obstinate than a courted
+peasant when his harrow hath chanced to hit the mark, by the Lord! if I
+once fall upon you, I will tear your eyes out. Hark ye, Don
+Beaten-and-cudgelled, are you such a wiseacre as to suppose I died for
+love of you? All you have seen this last night was a pure fiction; for I
+am not the woman to have a finger ache, much less to die for such a
+camel.’—‘O my conscience! I believe what you say,’ cried Sancho; ‘that
+of dying for love is a most ridiculous affair: your lovers, indeed, may
+easily say they are dying; but that they will actually give up the
+ghost, Judas may believe it for me.’
+
+During this conversation, the musician and poet, who had sung the two
+stanzas which we have already repeated, came into the apartment, and
+made a profound bow to Don Quixote, saying, ‘Sir Knight, I beg you will
+esteem and reckon me among the number of your most humble servants; for
+many days are elapsed since I have conceived the warmest affection for
+your person, from the fame of your character and atchievements.’ When
+Don Quixote desired to know who he was, that he might respect him
+according to his merit, he answered, that he was the musician and
+panegyrist of the preceding night. ‘Assuredly, your voice is extremely
+sweet,’ said the knight; ‘but, methinks, the verses you sung were not
+much to the purpose; for what affinity is there between the stanzas of
+Garcilasso and the death of this young lady?’—‘Your worship must not
+wonder at that impropriety,’ answered the musician; ‘it is a common
+practice among the beardless poets of this age to write what they will,
+and steal from whom they please to pillage, whether it be or be not to
+the purpose; and every absurdity that occurs in their singing or
+writing, they attribute to the _licentia poetica_.’
+
+Don Quixote’s reply was prevented by the entrance of the duke and
+duchess, who came to visit him in his chamber, and a long diverting
+conversation ensued, in the course of which Sancho uttered so many
+humorous sallies, and satirical jokes, that their graces admired anew
+the mixture of his acuteness and simplicity. As for the knight, he
+humbly requested that he might be allowed to depart that very day, as it
+was much more proper that vanquished knights, like him, should live in
+hog-sties than in sumptuous palaces. They graciously complied with his
+request; and when the duchess enquired if Altisidora had, as yet,
+acquired his good graces, ‘Your grace must know,’ said he, ‘that
+damsel’s distemper wholly proceeds from idleness, which may be easily
+cured by continual and decent occupation: she tells me it is the fashion
+in hell to wear lace, and as she knows how to make it, let the work
+never be out of her hand, which being employed in moving the bobbins,
+the idea or ideas of what she loves will no longer move in her
+imagination; and this is the truth, the substance of my opinion, and the
+marrow of my advice.’—‘Aye, and of mine too,’ cried Sancho; ‘for never
+in my born days did I know a lace-maker die for love: the thoughts of
+girls employed at that work, run more upon the finishing of their tasks
+than upon the idle fancies of love; and, for myself, I can safely say,
+that while I am digging in the field, I never so much as dream of my
+duck; I mean, my wife Teresa Panza, whom I love as the apple of mine
+eye.’—‘You talk like an oracle, Sancho,’ said the duchess: ‘and I will
+take care, that, from this day forward, Altisidora shall be employed in
+some plain work, which she understands to perfection.’—‘Your ladyship
+shall not need to use any such expedient,’ replied Altisidora; ‘for the
+consideration of the cruelty with which I have been used by that
+felonious monster, will blot him effectually from my remembrance,
+without any other assistance; and, in the mean time, with your grace’s
+permission, I will retire, that I may no longer have before my eyes—I
+will not say his rueful countenance, but his frightful and abominable
+aspect.’—‘These reproaches,’ said the duke, ‘put me in mind of the old
+observation, that Scolding among lovers is the next neighbour to
+forgiveness.’
+
+Altisidora, making a shew of wiping the tears from her eyes with a white
+handkerchief, dropped a low curtsey to her lord and lady, and withdrew;
+and Sancho sending after her an earnest look, ‘Poor damsel!’ cried he,
+‘I can bequeath, bequeath thee nothing, I say, but bad luck, seeing thou
+hast placed thine affection upon a soul of rush, and an heart of oak:
+had it lighted upon me, another sort of a cock would have crowned thy
+fortune.’
+
+Thus the conversation ended, Don Quixote put on his cloaths, dined with
+the duke and duchess, and set out that same evening for his own
+habitation.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XIX.
+ OF WHAT HAPPENED TO DON QUIXOTE AND HIS SQUIRE, IN THEIR JOURNEY TO
+ THEIR OWN VILLAGE.
+
+
+The perplexed and vanquished Don Quixote travelled along, extremely
+chagrined on one account, though greatly rejoiced on another: his
+melancholy was occasioned by his overthrow, and his joy produced from
+the consideration of that virtue inherent in his squire, which he had
+seen demonstrated in the resurrection of Altisidora, though he had some
+scruples in persuading himself that the enamoured damsel was actually
+dead. As for Sancho, he felt no sort of pleasure; but, on the contrary,
+was much mortified to find that Altisidora had failed in performing her
+promise touching the present of the shifts; and his imagination dwelling
+upon this circumstance, he said to his master—‘Truly, Signior, I must
+certainly be the most unfortunate physician that ever lived upon the
+earth, in which there are many leeches, who, though they kill their
+patients, insist upon being paid for their trouble, which, by the bye,
+is no more than writing and signing a list of medicines upon a scrap of
+paper; for the apothecary makes up the prescription, and so the farce is
+acted; whereas, I receive not a doit, though I cure other people’s
+maladies at the expence of pinches, twitches, pin-pricks, lashes, and
+drops of blood; but, I vow to God! if any other patient is put into my
+hands, they shall be well anointed before I undertake the cure; for, The
+abbot chants but to supply his wants: and I cannot believe that Heaven
+hath bestowed such virtue upon me, in order that I should throw it away
+upon the undeserving.’—‘Thou art in the right, friend Sancho,’ replied
+Don Quixote; ‘and Altisidora is much to blame in having witheld the
+promised shifts, although thy virtue is _gratis data_, without having
+put thee to the trouble of studying aught but the art of enduring
+personal torture; for my own part, I can say, that if thou hadst
+demanded payment for the disinchanting stripes, I should have allowed it
+to thy own satisfaction; though I know not how such hire might interfere
+with the cure; and I should not wish that the premium might impede the
+effect of the medicine: nevertheless, I do not think the experiment
+could be attended with any bad consequence. Consider, Sancho, what thou
+wouldst have; then proceed to the flagellation, and pay thyself fairly
+out of my money which is in thy own hands.’
+
+At this proposal, the squire opened his eyes and ears a full span, and
+resolving in his heart to scourge himself with good will, answered in
+these words—‘Aye, now, Signior, I find myself extremely well disposed to
+comply with your worship’s desire, since my compliance will be attended
+with some profit; and, I own, my regard for my poor wife and children
+makes me seem a little selfish.—Pray what will your worship chuse to
+give for every stripe?’—‘Were I to pay thee, Sancho,’ said the knight,
+‘according to the greatness of thy deserts, and the quality of the cure,
+the bank of Venice and mines of Potosi would not afford a sufficient
+recompence: but, see how much of my money thou hast got, and set thy own
+price upon every lash.’—‘The number of stripes to be given,’ answered
+the squire, ‘amounts to three thousand three hundred and odd: of these I
+have received about five, which shall stand for the odd; so that three
+thousand three hundred remain. Now, if we value each lash at a quarter
+of a rial, and I would not bate a doit though the whole world should
+desire me, the sum will be three thousand three hundred quartillos; the
+three thousand quartillos make fifteen hundred half-rials, which are
+equal to seven hundred and fifty rials, and the other three hundred
+quartillos make one hundred and fifty half-rials, which are equal to
+seventy five rials, and these being added to the former seven hundred
+and fifty, the whole reckoning amounts to eight hundred and twenty five
+rials. These I will deduct from your cash that is in my hands, and then
+I will return to my own house, rich and satisfied, though well scourged;
+for, We cannot catch trouts without wetting our clouts: and I will say
+no more upon the subject.’—‘O blessed Sancho! O lovely Sancho!’ cried
+Don Quixote; ‘Dulcinea and I will be bound to serve thee all the days
+that Heaven shall permit us to live; provided she shall retrieve her
+lost-form: and, in this hope, we cannot possibly be mistaken; her
+misfortune will prove fortunate, and my overthrow a most happy triumph.
+And now, Sancho, consider when thou wilt begin this discipline; towards
+the speedy performance of which, I add another hundred rials.’—‘When?’
+replied the squire; ‘this very night, without fail: if your worship will
+take care to chuse our lodging in the open field, I will take care to
+open my own carcase.’
+
+At length the night arrived, after it had been impatiently expected by
+Don Quixote, who thought the wheels of Apollo’s car had broken down, and
+that the day was extended to an unusual length; like those lovers whose
+desires ever outstrip the career of time.
+
+In the evening, they betook themselves to the covert of some pleasant
+trees at a little distance from the highway, and vacating the saddle of
+Rozinante, and the pannel of the ass, sat down together upon the grass,
+and supped upon the store contained in the wallet of Sancho; who,
+forming a strong and flexible scourge with Dapple’s halter, retired into
+a tuft of beeches about twenty paces from his master. The knight seeing
+him withdraw so brisk and resolute—‘Beware, friend Sancho,’ said he, ‘of
+scourging thyself to pieces; perform thy discipline at leisure; let the
+stripes follow one another in regular succession, and do not run so fast
+as to be out of breath in the middle of thy career; I mean, do not lash
+thyself so severely, as to destroy thy own life before the number be
+compleated; and, that thou mayest not lose it by a card too many, or too
+few, I will stand aside and count the stripes upon my rosary. Mayest
+thou enjoy the protection of Heaven, which thy christian intention so
+richly deserves!’—‘A good paymaster needs no bail,’ answered the squire:
+‘I intend to scourge myself in such a manner as will mortify my flesh,
+without any hazard of my life; for, in that medium the substance of the
+miracle must consist.’ He forthwith stripped himself naked from the
+waist upwards, and snatching the scourge, began to whip himself, while
+his master reckoned the stripes. About half a dozen or eight lashes had
+Sancho bestowed upon himself, when he found the joke very expensive, and
+the reward dog cheap; and suspending the instrument, told the knight he
+had been deceived, and claimed the benefit of an appeal; for every one
+of these stripes was worth half a rial instead of a quartillo. ‘Proceed,
+friend Sancho, without dismay,’ replied Don Quixote, ‘and I will double
+the allowance.’—‘At that rate,’ replied the squire, ‘to it again, by the
+grace of God, and let it rain lashes.’ But, the cunning knave no longer
+made application to his own shoulders, in lieu of which he began to
+scourge the trees, venting between whiles such dismal groans as seemed
+to tear his very soul up by the roots. The knight, from the tenderness
+of his own disposition, being apprehensive that he would actually put an
+end to his life, and of consequence defeat the purpose of his
+flagellation by his imprudence, exclaimed—‘I conjure thee, by thy life,
+friend Sancho, to let the business rest where it now stands: the
+medicine seems to have a very rough operation, and it will be better to
+proceed leisurely; for Zamora was not taken in one hour. Above a
+thousand stripes hast thou already inflicted upon thyself, if my
+reckoning is just, and these shall suffice for the present; for, if I
+may use a vulgar expression, Though the load must lie over the ass, he
+must not be overloaded.’—‘No, no, Signior,’ replied Sancho, ‘they shall
+never say of me, When money’s paid before its due, a broken limb will
+straight ensue. Pray stand aside a little, Signior, and let me lay on
+another thousand, if you please: two such bouts will perform the
+bargain, and leave something to boot.’—‘Since thou findest thyself in
+such an excellent frame and disposition,’ said the knight, ‘Heaven
+protect thee; stick to the stuff, and I shall withdraw.’ Sancho,
+resuming his task and reckoning, had already disbarked a number of
+trees, with the rigorous application of his scourge; when, bestowing a
+dreadful stroke upon an unfortunate beech, he exclaimed with great
+vociferation—‘Here, Sampson, shalt thou die, with all thine abettors.’
+Don Quixote hearing this dismal ejaculation, and the terrible sound of
+the stroke, ran up to the spot, and seizing the twisted halter that
+Sancho used instead of a bull’s pizzle—‘Fate,’ said he, ‘friend Sancho,
+will not permit that for my pleasure thou shouldst lose that life on
+which the sustenance of thy wife and family must depend. Dulcinea shall
+wait for a more favourable conjuncture, and I will contain myself within
+the limits of the nearest hope, until thou shalt recover new strength to
+conclude this affair to the satisfaction of all parties.’—‘Since your
+worship is so inclined,’ answered the squire, ‘so be it in happy time;
+and pray, good Signior, throw your cloak, about my shoulders; for I am
+all in a sweat, and would not willingly catch cold, which is so often
+the case with new disciplinants.’ The knight, in compliance with this
+request, stripped himself of his upper garment, with which he covered up
+Sancho, who slept until he was wakened by the sun; then they proceeded
+on their journey, which, for that day, did not exceed three leagues.
+
+They alighted at an inn; for such it was acknowledged by Don Quixote,
+who did not, as usual, suppose it a castle furnished with a fosse,
+turrets, portcullices, and draw-bridges: indeed, since his defeat, he
+had talked with more sanity on all subjects, as will presently appear.
+He was shewn into a low apartment, hung with old painted serge, instead
+of tapestry, such as is used in country places, in one piece of which
+some wretched hand had drawn the rape of Helen, who was carried off from
+Menelaus by his presumptuous guest; and in another was represented the
+story of Dido and Æneas, the unhappy queen standing upon a lofty tower,
+making signals with a white sheet to her fugitive lover, who, in a
+frigate or brigantine, was flying from her coast. He observed, of these
+two history pieces, that Helen shewed no marks of compulsion; but rather
+exhibited her satisfaction in a roguish smile; whereas, from the eyes of
+the beautiful Dido, tears as big as walnuts seemed to fall. Don Quixote
+having considered both pictures, ‘These two ladies,’ said he, ‘were most
+unfortunate, because they did not live in this our age; and I, above all
+men unhappy, because I did not live in theirs. Had I encountered these
+gentlemen, Troy had ne’er been burnt, nor Carthage laid in ruins; for,
+by killing Paris only, I should have prevented such disasters.’—‘I’ll
+lay a wager,’ said Sancho, ‘that in a very little time, every cook’s
+cellar, tavern, inn, and barber’s shop in the kingdom, will be
+ornamented with pictures containing the history of our atchievements;
+but I should be glad to see them painted by a better workman than him
+who made these daubings.’—‘Thou art in the right,’ replied Don Quixote;
+‘he that painted these pieces is just such another as Orbaneja, a
+painter of Ubeda, who being asked what he was about, answered, “Just as
+it happens;” and if he chanced to represent a cock, he wrote under it,
+“This is a cock,” that it might not be mistaken for a fox. Such a
+person, I suppose, is that same painter or author, for it is the same
+thing, who ushered into the world the lately published history of the
+new Don Quixote: for he has painted or described whatever came
+uppermost; or, perhaps, he resembles an old court poet called Mauleon,
+who pretended to answer every question extempore; and being one day
+asked the meaning of _Deum del Deo_, replied, “_De doude diere_[211].”
+But, waving this subject, tell me, Sancho, if thou art resolved to take
+the other turn to-night, and whether thou wouldst chuse to go to work
+under an humble roof, or beneath the high canopy of Heaven?’—‘’Fore God!
+Signior,’ replied the squire, ‘as to what I intend to take, it matters
+not much, whether it be taken within doors or without: nevertheless, I
+should chuse to go to work among trees; for they seem to accompany and
+assist me wonderfully in bearing the brunt of the application.’—‘But it
+must not be so at present, friend Sancho,’ answered the knight; ‘in
+order to recruit your strength, the execution shall be postponed until
+we arrive at our own village, which we shall reach the day after
+to-morrow, at farthest.’ Sancho said he might take his own way; though
+he himself should be glad to dispatch the business now he was warm, and
+while the mill was a going; ‘For, Delay breeds danger; and We ought
+still to be doing while to God we are suing. I will give thee, is good;
+but, Here, take it, is better. A sparrow in hand is worth an eagle on
+wing.’—‘No more proverbs, Sancho, for the love of God!’ cried the
+knight; thou seemest to be returning to _sicut erat_. Speak plainly and
+perspicuously, without such intricate mazes, as I have often advised
+thee, and thou wilt find thyself one loaf per cent. in pocket.’—‘I am so
+unlucky,’ answered the squire, ‘that I cannot give a reason without a
+proverb, nor a proverb that I do not think a good reason; but I will
+mend if I can!’ And here the conversation ended for that time.
+
+Footnote 211:
+
+ ‘Wherever it may hit:’ an answer that has no affinity with the
+ question, but the faint resemblance of sound.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XX.
+ GIVING AN ACCOUNT OF DON QUIXOTE’S ARRIVAL AT HIS OWN HABITATION.
+
+
+That whole day Don Quixote and Sancho tarried at the inn, waiting for
+night, during which the one intended to finish his whipping task in the
+open field, and the other hoped to see the accomplishment of that
+discipline on which depended the accomplishment of his desire. In the
+mean time, a gentleman on horseback arrived at the door, attended by
+three or four servants, one of whom said to him who seemed to be the
+master, ‘Signior Don Alvaro Tarfe, your worship may pass the afternoon
+in this house; the lodging seems to be cool and cleanly.’ Don Quixote
+hearing this address, ‘Hark ye, Sancho,’ said he, ‘when I glanced over
+the second part of my history, I am very much mistaken if I did not
+perceive, as I turned over the leaves, this very name of Don Alvaro
+Tarfe.’—‘Very likely,’ replied the squire; ‘first let him alight, and
+then we can ask questions.’ Accordingly the traveller having alighted,
+was conducted by the landlady into a room that fronted the knight’s
+apartment, and was ornamented with the same kind of paintings which we
+have already described. This new-come cavalier, laying aside his upper
+garment, came out into the porch, which was cool and spacious, where
+seeing Don Quixote walking backwards and forwards for the benefit of the
+air, he asked in a courteous manner, which way his worship was
+travelling. The knight told him he was going to the place of his
+nativity, which was a village in the neighbourhood; and, in his turn,
+expressed a desire of knowing the direction of the stranger’s course.
+‘Signior,’ said the cavalier, ‘I am travelling to Grenada, which is my
+native country.’—‘And a good country it is,’ replied Don Quixote; ‘but
+will your worship be so good as to tell me your name, which I believe is
+of more importance to me to know, than I can well explain.’—‘My name,’
+said the stranger, ‘is Don Alvaro Tarfe.’—‘Without doubt, then,’ replied
+the knight, ‘you must be the gentleman mentioned in the second part of
+the history of Don Quixote de La Mancha, lately printed and published by
+a modern author.’—‘The very same,’ answered the cavalier: ‘Don Quixote,
+the principal character of that history, was an intimate acquaintance of
+mine: I brought him from his own habitation; at least I persuaded him to
+assist at the tournament of Saragossa, whither I was going, and where I
+really and truly did him signal services; and particularly saved his
+back from being very roughly handled by the hangman, for his excessive
+impudence and knavery.’—‘And pray, Signior Don Alvaro, is there any
+resemblance between me and that Don Quixote whom your worship mentions?’
+said the knight. ‘No, surely, none at all,’ replied the stranger. ‘Is
+not that Don Quixote attended by a squire, called Sancho Panza?’ resumed
+our hero. ‘Yes, he is,’ answered the other; ‘and although he was
+reported to be a very humorous companion, I never heard him utter one
+merry conceit.’—‘That I can very well believe,’ said Sancho, mingling in
+the discourse; ‘it is not every body that can utter conceits; and that
+same Sancho, whom your worship mentions, must be a very great knave, and
+indeed both fool and knave; for I am the true Sancho Panza, who have as
+many conceits as there are drops of rain. If your worship will but try
+the experiment, and keep me company for a year or so, you will see them
+fall from me at every step; nay, they are so merry and so numerous, that
+very often when I myself know not what I have said, they make all the
+hearers burst their sides with laughing; and the true Don Quixote de La
+Mancha, the renowned, the valiant, the sage, the enamoured knight, the
+undoer of wrongs, the tutor of wards and orphans, the protector of
+widows, the destroyer of maids, he who owns no other mistress than the
+peerless Dulcinea del Toboso, is my master, this very gentleman here
+present: every other Don Quixote, and every other Sancho whatsoever, is
+no better than a dream or delusion.’—‘Before God! I am of the same
+opinion,’ replied Don Alvaro; ‘for, truly, my good friend, you have
+uttered more pleasantry in these few sentences you have spoke, than ever
+I knew come from the mouth of the other Sancho Panza, though he was an
+eternal babbler; he was much more of a glutton than an orator, and
+rather idiotical than humorous. Indeed, I am fully persuaded, that those
+inchanters who molest the good Don Quixote, have been pleased to
+persecute me with the bad Don Quixote: and yet I know not what to say;
+for I can take my oath that I left him at Toledo in the nuncio’s house,
+under the care of surgeons; and now, another Don Quixote starts up in
+his place, though of a very different character and complexion!’—‘I know
+not whether or not I am the good Don Quixote,’ replied the knight; ‘but,
+I will venture to say, I am not the bad Don Quixote; and, as a proof of
+what I alledge, my good Signior Don Alvaro Tarfe, your worship must
+know, that in the whole course of my life I never was at Saragossa; on
+the contrary, having been informed, that the fantastical Don Quixote had
+been present at the tournament of that city, I would not set foot within
+its walls, that I might demonstrate his imposture to the satisfaction of
+the whole world: I, therefore, openly repaired to Barcelona, that
+repository of politeness, that asylum of strangers, that hospital of the
+poor, that native place of gallantry, that avenging tribunal of the
+injured, that agreeable scene of unshaken friendship unparalleled both
+in beauty and situation! and although certain adventures which there
+befel me did not so much contribute to my satisfaction, but, on the
+contrary, conduced to my unspeakable disquiet, I bear my fate without
+repining, and count myself happy in having seen that celebrated place:
+finally, Signior Don Alvaro Tarfe, I am the real Don Quixote de La
+Mancha, so well known to fame, and not that wretched impostor who has
+thought proper to usurp my name, and deck himself with the spoils of my
+reputation. I must therefore entreat your worship, as you value yourself
+on the character of a gentleman, to make a declaration before the
+alcalde of the place; importing, that, before this day, you never saw me
+in the whole course of your life; and that I am not the Don Quixote
+described in the second part, nor this Sancho Panza the squire whom your
+worship knew in his service.’—‘With all my heart,’ said Don Alvaro; ‘and
+yet I cannot help being astonished to see two Don Quixotes, and two
+Sanchos, at the same time, so similar in name, and so unlike in
+character; so that I say again, and even affirm, that I have not really
+seen that which I thought I had seen, nor met with those incidents in
+which I supposed myself concerned.’—‘Doubtless,’ cried Sancho, ‘your
+worship must be enchanted, like my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso; and would
+to God your disinchantment depended upon my undergoing another tale of
+three thousand three hundred lashes, such as I have undertaken in her
+favour; I would lay them on without interest or deduction.’ When Don
+Alvaro said he did not understand what he meant by lashes, the squire
+answered it was a long story, which, however, he would relate to him
+should they chance to travel the same road.
+
+Don Quixote and Don Alvaro dined together; and the alcalde of the town
+chancing to enter the inn with a scrivener, our hero demanded, by a
+formal petition, that Don Alvaro Tarfe, the gentleman there present,
+should depose before his worship, that he was not acquainted with him,
+Don Quixote there present also; and that he the said Don Quixote was not
+the person described in a certain history, intitled, The second part of
+Don Quixote de La Mancha; composed by one Avellanada, native of
+Tordesillas. In a word, the alcalde proceeded in form; the deposition
+was drawn up in the strongest terms, and the knight and squire were as
+much rejoiced as if this certificate had been of the utmost consequence
+to their identity, and as if the difference between the two Quixotes and
+Sanchos would not have plainly appeared from their words and actions.
+
+Many compliments and proffers of service passed between Don Alvaro and
+Don Quixote; and our great Manchegan gave such proofs of discretion as
+undeceived Don Alvaro, who persuaded himself that he was certainly
+inchanted, seeing he had felt, as it were with his hand, two such
+contrary Don Quixotes. In the evening they departed from the village,
+and travelled together about half a league, until they found the highway
+divided into two roads, one of which led to the habitation of Don
+Quixote, and Don Alvaro’s journey lay through the other: yet, in that
+small space, the knight recounted the misfortune of his overthrow,
+together with Dulcinea’s inchantment, and the remedy proposed; so as to
+excite anew the admiration of the stranger; who, embracing Don Quixote
+and Sancho, took his leave, and proceeded on his own affairs, while our
+knight jogged on at an easy pace, and passed the night in a grove of
+trees in order to give Sancho an opportunity to perform his penance,
+which he accomplished as before, at the expence of the beeches, and not
+of his own shoulders; these he defended with such care, that they felt
+not even the whiff of any stripe sufficient to displace a fly. The
+credulous knight lost not one in his reckoning of the lashes; which
+including those of the preceding night, amounted to three thousand and
+twenty-nine: the sun seemed to rise early on purpose to behold this
+sacrifice, and to light our adventurer on his way, which he prosecuted,
+conversing with Sancho upon the mistake and deception of Don Alvaro, and
+his own presence of mind in obtaining such an authentick testimonial
+before the justice.
+
+The whole day and night they travelled without encountering any
+adventure worthy of record, except that, in the dark, Sancho finished
+his discipline, to the unspeakable satisfaction of the knight, who
+waited with impatience for the day in hope of finding his mistress
+Dulcinea disinchanted upon the road: indeed, he was so much engrossed by
+this notion, that he went up to every woman he met in the remaining part
+of his journey, to see if she was not Dulcinea del Toboso; infallibly
+persuaded that there could be no deceit in the promises of Merlin. While
+he indulged these reflections and desires, they ascended a rising ground
+from whence they descried their own village; which Sancho no sooner
+perceived, than he fell upon his knees, saying, ‘Open thine eyes,
+beloved country! and behold the return of thy son Sancho Panza; who,
+though not very rich in coin, is well stored with lashes: open thine
+arms at the same time, and receive thy son Don Quixote; who, though
+vanquished by a stranger’s hand, returns the victor of himself; and
+that, as he hath often told me, is the greatest conquest which can be
+desired. With regard to my own fate, I have money in my purse; for,
+though the stripes fell thick and heavy, I was rewarded like a
+gentleman.’—‘Leave these fooleries,’ said the knight, ‘and let us go
+directly home, where we will indulge our imagination with free scope, in
+contriving the scheme of pastoral felicity which we intend to enjoy.’
+
+They accordingly descended the hill, and made the best of their way to
+their own village.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XXI.
+ OF THE OMENS THAT OCCURRED TO DON QUIXOTE
+ WHEN HE ENTERED THE VILLAGE—
+ WITH OTHER INCIDENTS WHICH ADORN
+ AND AUTHENTICATE THIS SUBLIME HISTORY.
+
+
+Cid Hamet relates, that Don Quixote, as he entered the village,
+perceived two boys quarrelling in a threshing-floor, and heard the one
+say to his antagonist, ‘Struggle thy fill, Periquillo, thou shalt never
+see it in all the days of thy life.’ These words no sooner reached the
+knight’s ears, than turning to his squire, ‘Friend Sancho,’ said he,
+‘didst not thou mark what the boy said? “Thou shalt never see it in all
+the days of thy life.”’—‘And what signifies what the boy says?’ answered
+the squire. ‘What!’ replied the knight, ‘dost thou not perceive that
+these words, applied to my concerns, signify, that I shall never behold
+Dulcinea?’ Sancho was just going to answer, when he was prevented by the
+sight of an hare, which being pursued by a number of greyhounds and
+hunters, came running through the field and squatted down in a fright
+under Dapple; the squire immediately saved it from the dogs, by seizing
+and presenting it to his master, who said, ‘_Malum signum, malum
+signum!_ the hare flies, the hounds pursue, and Dulcinea does not
+appear.’—‘That is a strange fancy in your worship!’ replied the squire;
+‘let us, for example, suppose it Dulcinea del Toboso, and these pursuing
+hounds the felonious inchanters who have transformed her into a
+country-wench; she flies, I catch and deliver her to your worship, who
+hold and fondle her in your arms; what bad sign is that? or what ill
+omen can be conjured from such a circumstance?’ At this juncture the two
+boys who had been quarrelling, came up to see the hare; and Sancho
+having asked the cause of their quarrel, was answered by him who said,
+‘Thou shalt never see it in all the days of thy life,’ that he had taken
+a cage full of crickets from the other boy, which he did not intend to
+restore in the whole course of his life. In consequence of this
+information, the squire pulled out of his pocket four farthings, and
+gave them to the boy for the cage, which he put into the hands of Don
+Quixote, saying, ‘Behold, Signior, the wreck and destruction of those
+omens, which I (though a fool) imagine have no more to do with our
+affairs than last year’s clouds; and if I right remember, I have heard
+the curate of our parish observe, that no Christian of common sense
+ought to mind such childish trifles; nay, even your worship made the
+same remark some time ago, and told me those Christians were actually
+mad who put any faith in omens; and therefore we have no occasion to
+make a stumbling-block of this accident: but let us proceed, and enter
+the town a-God’s name.’
+
+The hunters coming up, demanded the hare, which was delivered to them by
+our knight, who jogging on with his squire, perceived the curate and
+batchelor Carrasco busy at their devotion, in a little meadow that
+skirted the town. Now the reader must know, that Sancho Panza had, over
+the bundle of armour carried by Dapple, thrown, by way of sumpter-cloth,
+the buckram robe painted with flames of fire, which he had worn in the
+duke’s castle on the night of Altisidora’s resurrection; and he, at the
+same time, had fixed the mitre upon the head of the ass, which, thus
+adorned, exhibited the strangest transformation that any beast of burden
+in the world had ever undergone. Our adventurers were immediately
+recognized by the curate and batchelor, who ran to receive them with
+open arms; when Don Quixote alighting, embraced them with great
+cordiality; and the boys, who are quick-sighted as lynxes, descrying the
+mitre of the ass, came running in crowds to behold this new spectacle,
+crying to one another, ‘Come along, boys, and see Sancho Panza’s Dapple,
+as fine as a May-morning[212], and Rozinante more lean than ever.’
+
+In a word, they entered the town, surrounded with boys, and accompanied
+by the curate and batchelor, who attended them to the knight’s house, at
+the gate of which they found the niece and housekeeper, already apprized
+of his arrival. The same intimation, neither more nor less, had been
+given to Sancho’s spouse Teresa Panza, who came running to see her
+husband, half naked, with her hair hanging about her ears, and her
+daughter Sanchica in her hand; but, seeing he was not so gayly equipped
+as she thought a governor should be, ‘Hey-day, husband!’ cried she, ‘you
+come home a-foot, and seem to be quite foundered, and look more like a
+governor of hogs, than a ruler of men.’—‘Hold your tongue, Teresa,’
+replied the squire; ‘you will often find hooks where there is no bacon;
+let us e’en trudge home, where I will tell thee wonders: I have money in
+my purse, (and that’s the one thing needful) earned by my own industry,
+without prejudice to any person whatsoever.’—‘Do you bring home the
+money, good husband,’ said Teresa, ‘and let it be earned here or there,
+or got in what shape you please, I give myself no trouble about the
+matter; I am sure, in getting it, you have introduced no new fashion
+into the world.’ Sanchica embraced her father, and asked if he had
+brought any thing for her, who had expected him as impatiently as if he
+had been May-dew: then taking hold of his girdle with one hand, and
+leading Dapple with the other, while her mother held him by the fist,
+they repaired to their own house, leaving Don Quixote to the care of his
+niece and housekeeper, and in company with the curate and batchelor.
+
+The knight, disregarding times and seasons, instantly retired into an
+apartment with his two friends, to whom he briefly related his
+overthrow, and the obligation under which he lay, to stay at home for
+the space of one year, which obligation he intended literally to
+observe, without failing in the least tittle, like a true knight-errant,
+bound by the punctuality of the order which he had the honour to
+profess. During this term of retirement, he proposed to turn shepherd,
+and enjoy the solitude of the field, where he would give full scope to
+his amorous sentiments, and exercise himself in all the virtues of a
+pastoral life: he, at the same time, besought them (provided they had
+any time to spare, and were not hindered by business of more
+consequence) to become his companions; assuring them he would purchase a
+flock of sheep sufficient for a number of swains, and that the principal
+part of the scheme was already effected, inasmuch as he had invented
+names that would suit them with the utmost propriety. The curate
+expressing a desire to know these appellations, the knight said, he
+would call himself the shepherd Quixotiz, the batchelor should be
+distinguished by the name of the swain Carrascon, the curate he
+denominated Curiambro, and the squire, Pancino. They were confounded at
+this new species of madness; but, lest he should once more forsake his
+habitation to follow his new chivalries, and in hope that he might
+possibly be cured during the year of his confinement, they seemingly
+assented to this new proposal, extolled his madness as the very essence
+of discretion, and promised to be his companions in the exercise he had
+planned. ‘All the world knows that I am a celebrated poet,’ said Sampson
+Carrasco, ‘and at every turn I shall compose verses, pastorals, or
+courtly sonnets, or such as will best answer the purpose of entertaining
+us in the fields through which we shall rove: but there is one
+circumstance, gentlemen, which we must by no means neglect; and that is,
+every man shall chuse a name for the shepherdess he intends to
+celebrate, and inscribe and engrave it on every tree, let it be never so
+hard, according to the constant practice of enamoured swains.’—‘A very
+seasonable suggestion,’ answered Don Quixote: ‘but, although I am at
+liberty to chuse a fictitious name, I shall not employ my invention for
+that purpose, while there is such a person as the peerless Dulcinea del
+Toboso, the glory of these banks! the ornament of these meadows! the
+support of beauty! the cream of all gentility! and, finally, the subject
+that suits all praise, how hyperbolical soever it may be.’—‘Very true,’
+said the curate; ‘but we must put up with nymphs of an inferior rank;
+who, though they will not square, may corner with our desires.’—‘And
+should we be at a loss,’ added Sampson Carrasco, ‘we will borrow names
+that abound in printed books; such as Phillis, Amaryllis, Diana,
+Florida, Galatea, and Belisarda; which, as they are publickly sold, we
+may purchase and appropriate to our own use. If, for example, my
+mistress, or rather shepherdess, be called Ann, I will celebrate her
+under the name of Anna; if her name is Frances, she shall be called
+Francenia; if Lucia, she shall be known by the appellation of Lucinda:
+in the same manner shall other names be metamorphosed; and if Sancho
+Panza is inclined to be one of our fraternity, he may celebrate his wife
+Teresa Panza, under the name of Teresayna.’ Don Quixote could not help
+smiling at this transformation; and the curate, in very high terms,
+applauded his honourable and virtuous resolution, promising anew to
+spend in his company all the time he could spare from his indispensible
+obligations. And now they took leave of the knight; after having advised
+and entreated him to have a reverend care of his health, and comfort his
+stomach with something good and substantial.
+
+The niece and housekeeper having by accident overheard this
+conversation, entered the apartment as soon as the curate and batchelor
+were gone; and the former, addressing herself to Don Quixote, ‘Uncle,’
+said she, ‘what is the meaning of all this! Now that we thought you was
+returned to stay at home, and lead a quiet and honourable life in your
+own house, you want to re-entangle yourself in new labyrinths, and turn
+a poor shepherd. Thou cam’st with a crook, and with a scrip thou wilt
+go, as the saying is; for, in good faith, the straw is too old to make
+pipes of.’—‘And does your worship think,’ added the housekeeper, ‘that
+you can stay in the field, during the heats of summer, and the frosts of
+winter, to hear the howling of wolves! no, truly, that is the office and
+employment of robust clowns, tanned by the weather, and brought up to
+the business, even from their christening blankets and swaddling
+cloaths; and, weighing one evil against another, you had better still be
+a knight-errant than a shepherd. Consider, Signior, and take my advice,
+which I do not give from a full stomach, but fresh and fasting, with
+fifty good years over my head: stay at home in your own house, look
+after your estate, go frequently to confession, be good to the poor, and
+let my conscience answer for the rest.’—‘Hold your peace, my good
+children,’ answered Don Quixote; ‘I know my own duty, and what I have to
+do; meanwhile carry me to bed, for methinks I am not very well; and be
+assured, that whether I continue knight-errant or turn shepherd, you may
+depend upon my good offices and assistance, as you shall find by
+experience.’
+
+Comforted by this declaration, the good souls (for so they were, without
+doubt) carried the knight to bed, where they presented him with
+victuals, and cherished him with all possible care.
+
+Footnote 212:
+
+ In the original, ‘as fine as Mingo,’ who was a bad poet, and tawdry
+ beau, contemporary with Cervantes.
+
+
+
+
+ CHAP. XXII.
+ GIVING AN ACCOUNT OF DON QUIXOTE’S LAST ILLNESS AND DEATH.
+
+
+As nothing human is eternal, but every sublunary object, especially the
+life of man, is always declining from its origin to its decay; and Don
+Quixote had no particular privilege from Heaven, exempting him from the
+common fate, the end and period of his existence arrived, when he least
+expected its approach. Either in consequence of the melancholy produced
+by his overthrow, or by the particular dispensations of Heaven, he was
+seized with a calenture which detained him in bed for the space of six
+days, during which he was often visited by his friends; the curate,
+batchelor, and barber, and his good squire Sancho Panza never stirred
+from his bedside. These gentlemen, supposing his distemper proceeded
+from the chagrin inspired by his overthrow, and the disappointment of
+his hope, concerning the liberty and disenchantment of Dulcinea,
+endeavoured by all possible means to exhilarate his spirits. The
+batchelor exhorted him to chear up his heart, and forsake his couch,
+that they might begin their pastoral exercise, towards which he had
+already composed an eclogue which would disgrace all the pastorals that
+ever Sannazarius wrote. He likewise gave him to understand, that he had
+purchased with his own money from an herdsman of Quintanar, two famous
+dogs called Barcino and Butron, to defend their flock from the wolves.
+All these consolations, however, could not dispel the melancholy of Don
+Quixote; so that his friends called a physician, who having felt his
+pulse, made a very doubtful prognostick; saying, happen what would, they
+ought to provide for the health of his soul, as that of his body was in
+imminent danger; and he gave it as his opinion, that the poor gentleman
+was overwhelmed with melancholy and vexation. The knight heard this
+sentence with the most heroick composure; but that was not the case with
+his housekeeper, niece, and squire, who began to weep and wail most
+bitterly, as if they had already seen him deprived of life.
+
+Don Quixote finding himself inclined to slumber, desired he might be
+left alone; and the company retiring, he is said to have slept six hours
+at a stretch; so that the housekeeper and niece began to fear he would
+never awake. Nevertheless, he awoke at the expiration of the aforesaid
+time, and exclaimed aloud, ‘Praised be the Almighty God, for the great
+benefit I have received from his bounty! His mercies know no bounds; nor
+are they abridged or impeded by the transgressions of man!’ The niece,
+who listened attentively, hearing this ejaculation, more sensible and
+connected than any thing he had uttered since the beginning of his
+illness; ‘Uncle,’ said she, ‘what do you mean? Has any thing new
+befallen us? What mercies and transgressions are these you
+mention?’—‘Mercies,’ replied the knight, ‘which Heaven hath this instant
+been pleased to vouchsafe unto me, notwithstanding the heinousness of my
+transgressions. I now enjoy my judgment undisturbed, and cleared from
+those dark shadows of ignorance, in which my understanding hath been
+involved, by the pernicious and incessant reading of those detestable
+books of chivalry. I am now sensible of the falsity and folly they
+contain; and nothing gives me concern, but that this conviction comes
+too late to give me time sufficient to make amends, by reading others,
+which would enlighten my soul. I feel myself, cousin, at the point of
+death; and I would not undergo that great change, in such a manner as to
+entail the imputation of madness on my memory; for, though I have acted
+as a madman, I should not wish to confirm the character, by my behaviour
+in the last moments of my life. Be so good, my dear child, as to send
+for my worthy friend the curate, the batchelor Sampson Carrasco, and
+master Nicholas the barber; for I want to confess, and make my will.’
+
+The accidental arrival of these three, saved her the trouble of sending
+a message to each in particular; and Don Quixote seeing them enter,
+‘Good gentlemen,’ said he, ‘congratulate and rejoice with me, upon my
+being no longer Don Quixote de La Mancha, but plain Alonzo Quixano,
+surnamed the Good, on account of the innocence of my life and
+conversation. I am now an enemy to Amadis de Gaul, and the whole
+infinite tribe of his descendants; now are all the profane histories of
+knight errantry odious to my reflection; now I am sensible of my own
+madness, and the danger into which I have been precipitated by reading
+such absurdities, which I, from dear-bought experience, abominate and
+abhor.’ The three friends, hearing this declaration, believed he was
+certainly seized with some new species of madness; and, on this
+supposition, Sampson replied, ‘Now, Signior Don Quixote, when we have
+received the news of my Lady Dulcinea’s being disenchanted, do you talk
+at this rate? When we are on the point of becoming shepherds, that we
+may pass away our time happily in singing, like so many princes, has
+your worship taken the resolution to turn hermit? No more of that, I
+beseech you; recollect your spirits, and leave off talking such idle
+stories!’—‘Those which I have hitherto believed, have, indeed, realized
+my misfortune,’ said the knight; ‘but, with the assistance of Heaven, I
+hope my death will turn them to my advantage.—Gentlemen, I feel myself
+hastening to the goal of life; and therefore, jesting apart, let me have
+the benefit of a ghostly confessor, and send for a notary to write my
+will; for in such extremities, a man must not trifle with his own soul:
+I entreat you, then, to call a notary; and, in the mean time, I will
+confess myself to Mr. Curate.’ They looked at one another, surprized at
+this discourse; and, though still dubious, resolved to comply with his
+desire: they considered this sudden and easy transition from madness to
+sanity, as a certain signal of his approaching death; for to those
+expressions already rehearsed, he added a great number so rational, so
+christian and well-connected, as to dispel the doubts of all present,
+who were now firmly persuaded, that he had retrieved the right use of
+his intellects. The curate having dismissed the company, confessed the
+penitent; while the batchelor went in quest of the notary, with whom he
+in a little time returned, accompanied also by Sancho, who having
+received an account of his master’s condition, and finding the niece and
+housekeeper in tears, began to pucker up his face, and open the
+flood-gates of his eyes.
+
+[Illustration: Don Quixote on His Death-Bed.]
+
+Confession being ended, the curate came forth, saying, ‘The good Alonzo
+Quixano is really dying, and without all doubt restored to his senses;
+we may now go and see the will attested.’ These tidings gave a terrible
+stab to the overcharged hearts of the two ladies and his faithful
+squire, whose eyes overflowed with weeping, and whose bosoms had
+well-nigh burst with a thousand sighs and groans; for, indeed, it must
+be owned, as we have somewhere observed, that whether in the character
+of Alonzo Quixano the Good, or in the capacity of Don Quixote de La
+Mancha, the poor gentleman had always exhibited marks of a peaceable
+temper and agreeable demeanour, for which he was beloved, not only by
+his own family, but also by all those who had the pleasure of his
+acquaintance.
+
+The notary entering the apartment with the rest of the company, wrote
+the preamble of the will, in which Don Quixote disposed of his soul in
+all the necessary Christian forms: then proceeding to the legacies, he
+said, ‘_Item_, Whereas Sancho Panza, whom, in my madness, I made my
+squire, has in his hands a certain sum of money for my use; and as
+divers accounts, disbursements, and pecuniary transactions have passed
+between us; it is my will, that he shall not be charged or brought to
+account for the said money; but, if there be any overplus, after he has
+deducted the payment of what I owe him, the said overplus, which must be
+a mere trifle, shall be his own, and much good may it do him! and as,
+during my disorder, I contributed to his being made governor of an
+island, I would now, while I enjoy my perfect senses, confer upon him,
+were it in my power, a whole kingdom; which he richly deserves for the
+innocency of his heart, and the fidelity of his service.’ Then turning
+to the disconsolate squire, ‘Forgive me, friend,’ said he, ‘for having
+been the cause of thy appearing in the eye of the world a madman, like
+myself; by drawing thee into my own erroneous notions, concerning the
+existence and adventures of knights-errant.’—‘Lack-a-day, dear Sir!’
+cried Sancho, blubbering, ‘do not die; take my advice, and live many
+years upon the face of the earth; for the greatest madness a man can be
+guilty of in this life, is to let himself die outright, without being
+slain by any person whatever, or destroyed by any other weapon than the
+hands of melancholy. Hark ye, Signior! hang sloth! get up, and let us
+take the field in shepherds apparel, according to our agreement; who
+knows, but behind some bush we may find my Lady Dulcinea disenchanted,
+and a comely sight for to see? If you take your overthrow so much to
+heart, lay the blame at my door, and say you was vanquished by my
+carelessness, in girting Rozinante; besides, your worship must have read
+in your books of chivalry, that it was common for one knight to unhorse
+another, and for him who was vanquished to-day, to be victor
+to-morrow.’—‘Very true,’ said Sampson; ‘honest Sancho seems to be very
+well informed of these matters.’—‘Gentlemen,’ replied the knight, ‘let
+us proceed fair and softly, without looking for this year’s birds in
+last year’s nests. I was mad; but now am in my right senses. I was Don
+Quixote de La Mancha; but now, as I have already observed, I am Alonzo
+Quixano the Good: and I hope, I shall, by my veracity and repentance,
+recover that degree of your esteem, which I formerly enjoyed. So let Mr.
+Notary proceed.’
+
+‘_Item_, I bequeath my whole estate, real and personal, to my niece
+Antonia Quixano here present, after deducting what shall be sufficient
+for the payment of my debts and legacies; and it is my will, that from
+the first of the money thence arising, the wages due to my housekeeper
+shall be paid, together with twenty ducats for a suit of mourning; and I
+appoint Mr. Curate, and Mr. Batchelor Sampson Carrasco, here present, my
+executors. _Item_, It is my will, that if my niece Antonia Quixano
+inclines to marriage, she shall not wed any man until she is fully
+satisfied, from previous information, that he is an utter stranger to
+books of chivalry; or, if she finds he is addicted to this kind of
+reading, and marries him nevertheless, she shall forfeit the whole
+legacy, which my executors may, in that case, dispose of in pious uses.
+_Item_, I beseech the said gentlemen, my executors, if perchance they
+should become acquainted with a certain author, who composed and
+published an history, entitled, “The Second Part of the Atchievements of
+Don Quixote de La Mancha;” that they will, in my name, most earnestly
+entreat him to forgive me for having been the innocent cause of his
+writing such a number of absurdities as that performance contains; for I
+quit this life with some scruples of conscience arising from that
+consideration.’ The will being thus concluded, he was seized with a
+fainting-fit, and stretched himself at full length in the bed; so that
+all the company were alarmed, and ran to his assistance. During three
+days which he lived after the will was signed and sealed, he frequently
+fainted, and the whole family was in confusion: nevertheless, the niece
+eat her victuals, the housekeeper drank to the repose of his soul, and
+even Sancho cherished his little carcase; for the prospect of succession
+either dispels or moderates that affliction which an heir ought to feel
+at the death of the testator.
+
+At last Don Quixote expired; after having received all the sacraments,
+and in the strongest terms, pathetically enforced, expressed his
+abomination against all books of chivalry; and the notary observed, that
+in all the books of that kind which he had perused, he had never read of
+any knight-errant who died quietly in his bed, as a good Christian, like
+Don Quixote; who, amidst the tears and lamentations of all present, gave
+up the ghost, or in other words, departed this life. The curate was no
+sooner certified of his decease, than he desired the notary to make a
+testimonial, declaring, that Alonzo Quixano the Good, commonly called
+Don Quixote de La Mancha, had taken his departure from this life, and
+died of a natural death; that no other author, different from Cid Hamet
+Benengeli, should falsely pretend to raise him from the dead, and write
+endless histories of his atchievements.
+
+This was the end of the sage Hidalgo de La Mancha, whose native place
+Cid Hamet would not punctually describe, because he wished that all the
+towns and villages of that province should contend for the honour of
+having given him birth, as the seven cities of Greece contended for
+Homer. We shall here omit the lamentations of the housekeeper, niece,
+and squire, together with all the epitaphs, except the following, by
+Sampson Carrasco.
+
+ Here lies a cavalier of fame,
+ Whose dauntless courage soar’d so high,
+ That death, which can the boldest tame,
+ He scorn’d to flatter or to fly.
+ A constant bugbear to the bad,
+ His might the world in arms defy’d;
+ And in his life though counted mad,
+ He in his perfect senses dy’d.
+
+The sagacious Cid Hamet addressing himself to his pen, ‘And now, my
+slender quill,’ said he, ‘whether cunningly cut, or unskilfully formed,
+it boots not much; here, from this rack, suspended by a wire, shalt thou
+enjoy repose, and live to future ages, if no presumptuous and wicked
+hand shall take thee down, in order to profane thee in compiling idle
+histories. But ere such insolent fingers can touch thine hallowed plume,
+accost, and warn them, if thou canst, in words like these:
+
+ “Caitifs, forbear!—Illustrious prince, let none
+ ”Attempt th’ emprize reserv’d for me alone[213].”
+
+‘For me alone was Don Quixote born, and I produced for him; he to act,
+and I to record: in a word, we were destined for each other, maugre and
+in despight of that fictitious Tordesilian author, who has presumed, or
+may presume, to write with his coarse, aukward ostrich quill, the
+atchievements of my valiant knight; a burden too heavy for his weak
+shoulders, and an undertaking too great for his frozen genius. Advise
+him, therefore, if ever thou shouldst chance to be in his company, to
+let the wearied and mouldering bones of Don Quixote rest in the grave,
+without seeking to carry him into Old Castile[214], in opposition to all
+the prerogatives of death; or to drag him from his tomb, where he really
+and truly lies extended at full length, and utterly incapable of making
+a third sally: for all the exploits performed by the whole tribe of
+knights-errant are sufficiently ridiculed by the two expeditions he has
+already made, so much to the satisfaction and entertainment, not only of
+Spain, but also of every foreign nation to which the fame of his
+adventures hath been conveyed. In so doing, thou wilt conform to thy
+Christian profession of doing good to those who would do thee harm; and
+I shall rest satisfied and perfectly well pleased, in seeing myself the
+first author who fully enjoyed the fruit of his writings in the success
+of his design: for mine was no other than to inspire mankind with an
+abhorrence of the false and improbable stories recounted in books of
+chivalry; which are already shaken by the adventures of my true and
+genuine Don Quixote, and in a little time will certainly sink into
+oblivion. Farewel.’
+
+
+FINIS.
+
+Footnote 213:
+
+ Lines probably taken from some old ballad or romance.
+
+Footnote 214:
+
+ The author of the Second Part hinted, in his preface, a design of
+ bringing his hero into the field again, in Old Castile.
+
+
+
+
+ ● Transcriber’s Notes:
+ ○ Text that was in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_).
+ ○ Footnotes have been moved to follow the sections in which they are
+ referenced.
+
+
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77095 ***
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