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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78121 ***
+
+
+
+
+THE SERVANT’S BEHAVIOUR BOOK.
+
+
+
+
+THE
+
+SERVANT’S BEHAVIOUR BOOK;
+
+OR,
+
+Hints on Manners and Dress
+
+FOR MAID SERVANTS IN SMALL HOUSEHOLDS.
+
+BY MRS. MOTHERLY.
+
+LONDON:
+
+BELL AND DALDY, 186, FLEET STREET.
+
+1859.
+
+
+
+
+LONDON:
+
+R. CLAY, PRINTER, BREAD STREET HILL.
+
+
+
+
+TO MY READERS.
+
+
++My dear Girls+,
+
+Every rule in this book is necessary to a girl entering a gentleman’s
+family. Some of the things I shall tell you will be known to many of
+you, and some will seem new and strange; but all are equally important,
+if you wish to be well-behaved and agreeable servants. If you neglect
+to observe the rules I shall teach you, you will always be awkward, and
+fit only for common places and low wages; but if you learn and practise
+them, you will be able to rise higher as your domestic knowledge and
+abilities improve. Many a thoroughly good servant is kept all her life
+in inferior places, solely by the want of good manners; and many a
+servant of small abilities is advanced to a better position merely on
+account of her good breeding.
+
+Do not think because some of these directions seem strange to you, that
+you will be noticed and looked at for observing them. All good servants
+do the things which I advise you to do, and all ladies are accustomed
+to see them done. You are much more likely to be watched and wondered
+at for neglecting these rules, than for obeying them.
+
+I dare say some of them will seem so simple, that you will laugh, and
+say, “The lady need not to have told us that.” Now, believe me, when
+you have been in place a few years, they will all seem so. They all
+seem so now to me; so do not suffer yourselves to fancy I am telling
+you to do anything uncommon, or likely to call attention to you. I
+have taught a great many young girls to be good servants, and they
+have often said to me, “Oh, ma’am, I shall be ashamed to do this;
+every one will look at me!” After a little while the thing has become
+quite natural, and they have laughed at themselves for ever thinking it
+strange. One girl thought it seemed ill-tempered not to talk every time
+she came into the drawing-room with a coal-scuttle or a letter, and
+could scarcely be taught to come in quietly. Another thought it looked
+foolish to bring in money or letters on a tray, because conveying them
+in the hand was so much more simple. Another thought it sounded foolish
+to say “Sir” or “Ma’am” every time she spoke to a gentleman or lady.
+Now, I cannot tell which of my rules may be new to you; but I can only
+say that none are so to experienced servants, or to ladies. I know that
+none, however, are too simple to be useful to some of you, as I have
+learned which will be useful by finding out which I have had to teach
+to young girls in my own service.
+
+Study them all well, then. When you find one that you already know, be
+thankful to your parents or other guardians who have taught you what
+others have had to learn from a mistress. When you find a direction
+that is new to you, be careful to put it into practice directly, before
+your employers shall have discovered your ignorance of it; and remember
+that every fresh rule you learn and observe, makes you a better servant.
+
+Believe me, my dear girls, to be,
+
+Your sincere friend,
+
+MARY MOTHERLY.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+
+                                PAGE
+
+ CHAPTER I.
+  OF THE VOICE AND SPEAKING      11
+
+ CHAPTER II.
+  TITLES OF RESPECT              32
+
+ CHAPTER III.
+  STANDING AND MOVING            40
+
+ CHAPTER IV.
+  WAITING AT TABLE               52
+
+ CHAPTER V.
+  MISCELLANEOUS DIRECTIONS       70
+
+ CHAPTER VI.
+  DRESS                          82
+
+
+
+
+THE SERVANT’S BEHAVIOUR BOOK.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+_OF THE VOICE AND SPEAKING._
+
+
++Never let your voice be heard by the ladies and gentlemen of the house
+except when necessary, and then as little as possible.+
+
+This piece of advice cannot be too well remembered. It is needed by
+almost all young girls on their first entering service, and great is
+the annoyance thus caused to their employers. Every girl who wishes to
+live in a gentleman’s family must learn, sooner or later, to keep guard
+over her tongue, and it is best to begin at once, before her neglect
+has called upon her the reproofs of the family.
+
+In order that you, my readers, may the better understand how to follow
+out this rule, I will give you a few more particular directions about
+your voice and speaking, which will help you in those cases where you
+will, without caution, be most likely to forget yourself. In reading
+these directions you must remember that they should guide your conduct
+towards any grown-up lady or gentleman who may be in the house,
+although for the sake of shortness, I shall generally name only your
+mistress.
+
+
++Never begin to talk to your mistress, unless it be to deliver a
+message, or ask a necessary question. Even then, do it as shortly as
+possible.+
+
+Many young girls who are fond of talking will make a common message an
+excuse for a long conversation. I had a nursemaid once who did this,
+and if I tell you how she did it, you will perhaps see how tiresome it
+must have been, and take care not to fall into the same error.
+
+As I was leaving the nursery one day, Mary made the following speech:--
+
+“If you please, ma’am, as we were turning the corner to-day, round by
+the Red Lion, Master Willy said to me, ‘Look, Mary, Fanny has a hole
+in her boot.’ I thought it very odd, but when I looked, ma’am, Miss
+Fanny was running, and she threw up her feet behind, so I saw a little
+hole quite plain, ma’am, and it had let a little stone in, and don’t
+you think, ma’am, I might take it over to Mr. Green’s to be mended when
+we go out to-morrow morning?”
+
+Perhaps you see no harm in this; but you will understand how wearisome
+it was to me to stand listening to this long story, when I remind you
+that Mary might have said all that was necessary in these few words:
+“Miss Fanny’s boots want mending, ma’am; shall I take them to Mr.
+Green’s to-morrow?”
+
+I will give you one more example, then I am sure you will understand
+how to avoid this fault of Mary’s and of so many young girls. I once
+asked Mary how her sick father was; she answered,
+
+“I got a letter from mother to-day, ma’am, and she says, it is hard to
+write while she has so much waiting to do; but father slept a little,
+and she took the pen just to tell me his eyes looked a little brighter,
+and he had taken a little of his favourite dish,--that’s stewed beef,
+ma’am,--and so she thought at the time that he must be better; and
+before she sealed the letter, Mr. Turner,--that’s the doctor, ma’am,
+that comes from the club that father pays weekly--he came in, and said
+father was much better, thank you, ma’am.”
+
+It was very natural for Mary to like to talk of her sick father; yet
+when she had been with me a few months longer she would not have
+occupied me so long, because I asked her a simple question. She would
+have remembered, that however interesting it was to her to know that
+her father liked stewed beef, or that Mr. Turner was the club doctor,
+and to dwell on all other particulars that concerned her parents whom
+she loved, yet, I was not the person to whom she had a right to relate
+all these things unasked, and would have answered simply, “Thank you,
+ma’am, I have heard from my mother to-day, and father is much better.”
+
+Never preface any thing you have to say, but say it simply. By
+prefacing, I mean using some unnecessary beginning, as “I was going
+to say, ma’am,” “I wanted to ask you, ma’am,” “I have been intending
+several times to tell you, ma’am,” and so on. Such beginnings are quite
+useless, and not only consume time, but sound familiar and awkward.
+It is better to ask, say, or tell, at once, as “Shall I go, ma’am?”
+“If you please, ma’am, I want some new dusters,” &c. &c. This habit
+of prefacing grows so much on those who fall into it, that it becomes
+difficult to them to say anything simply; it should therefore be
+guarded against at the beginning.
+
+Sometimes a kind mistress will ask questions, and encourage a servant
+to speak of her family, and her own affairs. There can then be no harm
+in doing so. But if this should happen to you, remember two things:
+first, be sure you are careful to talk only as much as you see is
+agreeable to your mistress, and take the first hint to stop--such as
+your mistress’ changing the subject, or sending you to do, or fetch
+something; and secondly, never think, because your mistress has chosen
+to have a little friendly talk with you on one occasion,--perhaps
+while she warmed her hands at your fire, or while you helped her to
+undress--that she means to throw aside all reserve, and will like you
+to chat on in the same way another time, without encouragement.
+
+Suppose this conversation takes place down stairs, and your mistress
+goes away, and soon after rings for tea, do not, when you go up, begin
+the conversation again; but go in just as quietly as if she had not
+been talking to you a few moments before. By doing this, you will show
+her that she may talk kindly and freely to you when she has time and
+inclination, without fear of making your manner the less respectful to
+her at other times.
+
+If you are an only servant, this is the more important, as it is very
+dull for you to have no companion, and a kind mistress, feeling this,
+will like often to talk to you when she has time to do so; but should
+she find her kindness makes you familiar, she will soon leave off
+conversing with you.
+
+I know many ladies who have repented having spoken familiarly to their
+servants, finding that the girls have misunderstood their kindness, and
+sometimes have gone so far as to begin talking about their own affairs
+in the drawing-room. One lady who was thus annoyed, told me that she
+always took up a book and appeared to read, before she rang the bell,
+hoping thus to keep the girl from stopping to talk when she came up.
+I am sure it would have been kind to tell this young creature how
+improper her conduct was; but the lady did not like to do so, and as
+even the book did not restrain her, she was sent away. I know she left
+two good places after this, within a few months, and then went into a
+small shopkeeper’s family, where she was remaining when last I heard
+of her. It is, perhaps, scarcely fair to expect that a lady should take
+upon herself the trouble of teaching good manners to every servant who
+may come into her service; but had this girl chanced to meet with a
+mistress who was willing to take the trouble of speaking to her several
+times of this, and other similar faults, resulting from the same want
+of respect to those placed over her, she would not have had to go back
+from gentlemen’s families to a common place.
+
+I need scarcely tell you never to speak when you go in to take up
+coals, lay a cloth, sweep up crumbs, or dust, or to do anything else in
+a room where a lady or gentleman may be sitting, either alone or with
+others.
+
+There is, however, one little distinction to be made between your
+mistress and any other lady. There may be many things you need to
+ask or to tell your mistress, and when there is something necessary
+to say, there can be no harm in speaking; but it should be done in a
+respectful way; not while you are kneeling to sweep, or laying a cloth,
+but when you have done your work in the room, standing by the door, as
+I shall tell you by and by. It is also better to speak on any domestic
+matter when your mistress may chance to be in the kitchen--or even
+in her bedroom, if you can manage it--rather than when she is in the
+drawing-room. In the kitchen or bedroom she is more likely to have her
+thoughts disengaged, and at liberty to attend to domestic concerns;
+but many occasions will arise when you will need to see your mistress
+without waiting for such an opportunity, and you will then be obliged
+to go in to her, and it will not signify much, provided you remember
+to stay as short a time as possible. You should, in such a case, go
+in and shut the door, standing by it, and it will be well to begin by
+saying, “I beg your pardon, ma’am, but will you be so kind as to tell
+me--” Do not fancy that any lady will think this strange, or stare at
+you for saying it. It is only common civility. The girls I have with me
+now, always beg my pardon, or use some such words of apology, if they
+come in and speak to me unasked. I did not tell them to do so, but they
+are well behaved, respectful servants, and they feel that it is proper
+to show me this consideration. If you feel shy at using these words
+of apology, you may still enter and speak in a gentle and respectful
+manner which shows you are sensible of intruding, a manner which
+implies an apology. If your mistress should be with company, it is
+still less desirable to interrupt her; yet there are cases where even
+this must be done--but they are very seldom. In such a case you should
+merely say at the door, “Can I speak to you, ma’am?” and your mistress
+will come out. No questions must be asked before strangers.
+
+Now I think you will understand what I mean by saying, _Never begin
+to talk to your mistress, unless it be to deliver a message, or ask a
+necessary question._
+
+Before I pass on to the third rule about speaking, I should like to
+show you how reasonable this second rule is. It may at first appear
+to you that there is no reason why you should keep at such a distance
+from your mistress, or why you should not be allowed to speak as freely
+to her as to one of your fellow-servants,--that it would be happier
+for both were you to do so, and that only pride and unkindness can be
+the cause of such a distinction as I have been drawing. This is not
+at all the case, as I will show you. Do you know that all the rules
+I have been teaching to you are taught to many ladies and gentlemen
+as rich and clever as your own master and mistress? Your master, at
+your age, probably had some teacher, or some superior in an office or
+counting-house, towards whom he had to be just as respectful as you
+ought now to be to him. In all government offices and places where
+gentlemen are employed, there are heads and governors, who must not
+be spoken to by those lower in office, except in just such cases as
+you may speak to those placed over you. Every one in the land has some
+such superior in station, till you rise to dukes and princes, who are
+compelled to observe with a king or queen, exactly such strict rules as
+I have been laying down for you. It would be easy to show you, in every
+case, why these rules are necessary, but as only your own case concerns
+you, I will keep to that.
+
+If I were to tell you not to use your mistress’ bonnet or shawl, or
+even her umbrella or scissors, without her permission, you would
+understand at once the propriety and reasonableness of the direction.
+I think I can show you that it is just as proper and reasonable to
+refrain from using her time, without permission. Ladies have been
+educated in a very different manner to you. They have read many books,
+have travelled and seen many sights, talked with educated people, and
+know a great number of things about which you know nothing. It is not
+likely that you can have anything to say that will amuse or interest a
+lady. When she talks to you, it is in kindness, and all the pleasure
+of the talk is on your side. She talks down to your understanding and
+knowledge, as you do to the understanding and knowledge of a young
+child, who does not know a hundredth part of what you know. Were you
+to listen to the conversation of your mistress with her friends, it
+would often be very dull to you, because the talk would be of books,
+people, and events of which you have never heard, and would consist of
+many words you would not understand. Just as their conversation would
+be dull to you from its cleverness, so is yours dull to your mistress
+from its simplicity. Many things that appear to you witty and full of
+fun, would in no way amuse your mistress, but would seem as dull to her
+as a child’s wit to you. When a child throws down a doll, and says,
+“How funny!” you see no fun, but laugh to please the child; and so the
+joke that is too clever for the child amuses you, but has no fun in it
+to the lady whose understanding is much beyond yours. I had a servant
+once who took every opportunity of repeating to me the jokes of the
+tradesmen and her friends. Some of them seemed to me only coarse, and
+others stupid; and I never felt the least amused by any one of them,
+but only annoyed by the liberty she took in occupying my time with such
+nonsense. Yet perhaps she thought to entertain me.
+
+There is sometimes a mistress rich but ill-educated. Such a mistress is
+almost sure to make companions of her servants, because her knowledge
+and ideas are nearer on a level with theirs. But a sensible girl will
+with just cause respect most, and like best to serve, the lady whose
+superior knowledge puts a natural barrier between them. In any case, a
+servant must rank below her mistress. How much more pleasant it is to
+give place to one who is really, and at all times, your superior, than
+to a natural equal, raised by the accident of possessing more money! It
+then follows, that the lady who always feels and observes a difference
+between herself and her servants, puts more dignity on them than the
+mistress who will allow full familiarity, except in the presence of
+strangers.
+
+But we will suppose for a moment that a servant’s conversation could
+be amusing, and in all respects equal to that of her mistress. In such
+a case, were she at liberty to speak freely, her mistress would have
+no rest. Visitors, however pleasant, are very fatiguing for many days
+together; and few ladies will invite persons to stay in the house
+continually, and none at times when business, or trouble, or any other
+cause may exist for making quiet desirable. But were the barrier of
+which we have been speaking between mistress and servant once removed,
+no lady could ever secure quiet and solitude. She might refrain from
+inviting friends, and send her children out, or to the nursery; but
+servants must be in the house, and at liberty to go from room to room
+as their work calls them; and if they were to stand chatting at the
+door whenever the bell was rung, or to enter when they pleased for a
+gossip, the poor lady would be as ill off as if she were compelled to
+have three or four perpetual visitors;--how much worse, too, when we
+add, that these never-failing visitors would be persons whose talk was
+entirely uninteresting to her, and quite below her understanding!
+
+We will now pass on to the third rule about speaking.
+
+
++Never talk to another servant, or person of your own rank, or to a
+child, in the presence of your mistress, unless from necessity; and
+then do it as shortly as possible, and in a low voice.+
+
+When I say “a low voice,” I do not mean a whisper, which would be worse
+than the loudest voice, but an undertone.
+
+Nothing can be more ill-bred, than for two servants to laugh and talk
+in their mistress’ presence. I should have thought that no girl of
+sense would need to be warned of this error, had I not seen very good,
+and in many respects well-behaved girls, fall into it. Rose was with me
+for some time, but I could never completely cure her of this failing,
+and two or three others similar to it. The consequence is, that she
+has never risen to a high place. Though as regards her work she is
+a first-rate servant, yet she could never stay long in gentlemen’s
+families, from the uncouthness of her manners; while Mary, the
+chatterbox, who cured her faults of manner before she left me, though
+an indifferent servant as regards work, being delicate and rather slow,
+is now earning very high wages as parlour-maid, in a family where two
+carriages are kept.
+
+I do not mean that Rose, after being chidden once or twice, talked and
+laughed loud in my presence; but merely that she still continued to
+speak unnecessarily and freely to her fellow-servants while I was in
+the room. I will show you what I mean. I was once ill, and lay on the
+sofa for a few moments while my bed was being made by Rose and Mary. I
+asked Mary, “Has Baby had her new food to-day?”
+
+_Mary._--“Yes, ma’am.”
+
+_I._--“Did she like it without sugar?”
+
+_Mary._--“Yes, ma’am; pretty well.”
+
+_Rose._--“What! did she eat it without sugar?”
+
+Mary feeling the impropriety of talking with Rose in my room, and yet
+not liking to make her no answer, nodded her head quietly, and I said
+again, “I should like to kiss her before she goes to bed.”
+
+_Rose to Mary._--“She is gone, isn’t she?”
+
+Mary, not answering Rose, turned to me and said, “She is in bed, ma’am.”
+
+This little conversation will show you, by Rose’s example, what to
+avoid, and, by Mary’s example, how to behave, if a young girl who does
+not know better speaks to you when a lady is present.
+
+The same rule applies to children, and to any person of your own
+station, as a laundress or a charwoman, who may chance to speak to you
+freely when ladies are present.
+
+I must, however, point out to you that, in some cases it is necessary
+to ask or answer a question. Suppose, in making the bed, Rose misses a
+pillow, she will properly say, “Mary, have you moved the pillow?” and
+Mary will, with propriety, answer, “No; but I saw nurse with it in her
+hand. I think it must be on the sofa,” or whatever else may lead to the
+finding of the pillow; but this will be in a quiet voice, and in as few
+words as possible.
+
+Children are often very troublesome in talking to servants when they
+are laying a cloth, sweeping up crumbs, &c. Sometimes, if a child says,
+“Look at this!” or, “Oh, Mary, mamma has given me this!” you may nod
+and smile; but if questions are asked you by children, or a long story
+told, the best way is to appear not to hear. The child will probably
+receive a check from some one in the room, and will, in any case, soon
+learn that it is of no use to speak to you at such times. You may also
+yourself, when alone with the child, ask him not to talk to you when
+ladies and gentlemen are in the room, saying that you do not like to
+disturb them by talking yourself.
+
+Suppose a child asks a question to which a nod or a smile will be
+no answer, and persists in asking it again and again, and is not
+checked by anyone in the room, it is best to go up to it and say in a
+low voice, “I will tell you another time,” or anything else that will
+answer the purpose.
+
+A nursemaid, when in the nursery, may be much more free in speaking
+to children with the lady present, as it is understood then that her
+business is to attend to them; but her own good sense will show her
+that she should still say but little, and defer all stories, songs,
+and noises to the baby, till her mistress is gone; and that though she
+may answer questions, or speak to the children, she should do so in a
+quiet voice, and keep as much as she can in the background, leaving her
+mistress to enjoy the company of the children undisturbed.
+
+
++Never talk to a fellow-servant, a person of your own rank, or a child,
+in a passage or hall, a staircase, or any such place, unless strictly
+necessary, and then in an undertone, and as little as possible.+
+
+If two servants meet, or are at work together, on a staircase or
+landing, or any place from which their voices may be heard in adjoining
+rooms--as under windows, in anterooms, &c., they should never
+converse. It is excessively annoying to those who are in the house to
+hear a hum of voices, and still worse, should the talking be nearer, to
+hear the conversation. When it is necessary to speak in such places, it
+should be in a low voice and few words. No rule is more often neglected
+than this by common servants, and no rule more strictly observed by
+servants accustomed to good places.
+
+In a small house, where the kitchen is within hearing of the sitting
+rooms, be careful to shut the door before you begin to talk; and even
+then, avoid loud talking and laughing, as the murmur of it goes through
+the walls, and is very annoying to the family.
+
+In a small house, remember also not to talk to friends or tradesmen at
+the street-doors. On opening to a friend who is coming in, say only,
+“How do you do?” or some few words, and save all talk till you are in
+the kitchen, and the door is shut. Never go along the hall and stairs
+talking.
+
+I am sure you will see the propriety of this rule. Were servants to
+laugh and talk about the house, they would subject the family to the
+very annoyance for which children are often punished. In houses that
+contained children, all noises would be doubled; and in houses without
+them, the family would thus get the noise without the pleasure of them.
+
+
++Never call out from one room to another.+
+
+It is sometimes very tiresome to be obliged to run up two or three
+flights of stairs to speak to or call down a fellow-servant or child;
+but there is no help for it; there must absolutely be no calling: the
+nuisance of it would be intolerable. If talking on the stairs is bad,
+calling is a hundred times worse.
+
+
++Always answer when you receive an order or reproof.+
+
+When you are told to do anything, never omit to say, “Yes, ma’am,” or
+“sir,” in a voice that may be heard. If you do not answer, it may be
+supposed that you have not heard the order; or what is worse, it may be
+thought you are unwilling to obey. It is a common thing for ill-behaved
+and ill-tempered girls to give no answer to an order that they dislike;
+and it is natural, therefore, for a lady to attribute silence, in
+answer to a troublesome order, to ill-temper.
+
+It is even more important to make answer to a reproof, as here you may
+the more easily be suspected of ill-temper. A civil answer generally
+puts an end to the anger of the person reproving. A girl who replies in
+an amiable way, “I am very sorry, ma’am, and will be more careful next
+time,” or whatever else may be suitable (provided that the words are
+sincere), does her best to mend her fault. Supposing that your temper
+is too irritable for you to command yourself enough to say so much,
+you can still say a word or two; as, “Yes, ma’am;” “I am very sorry,
+ma’am,”--to show that you have heard and understood. Silence at such a
+time is rude, ill-tempered, and likely to provoke more reproof.
+
+There are, of course, many cases in which you must speak in the
+sitting-rooms: let this always be in a gentle voice; but when necessary
+to let more than one person hear you, or when speaking across the room,
+do not be afraid to make yourself heard. In announcing the name of a
+visitor, which should be heard by all in the room, speak loudly and
+distinctly; but in addressing a lady or gentleman at table, “Will you
+take water, sir?” or in saying “Thank you, sir,” to a person giving
+you anything, your voice should be low, as only the person by whom you
+stand need hear you. Indeed, your own sense will now guide you, and
+teach you how to carry out the injunction with which I began this
+chapter, namely,
+
++A servant’s voice should never be heard by the ladies and gentlemen of
+the house, except when necessary, and then as little as possible.+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+_TITLES OF RESPECT._
+
+
++Never speak to a lady or gentleman without saying, “sir,” “ma’am,” or
+“miss,” as the case may be.+
+
+I have had several servants who had not been in place before, and in
+every instance have had much trouble in making them observe this rule.
+Every young person will say “Sir” or “Ma’am” occasionally; but few do
+it always, till taught to do so in a regular place. Some, on my telling
+them several times of this omission, have said, as an excuse, that it
+seemed awkward to say “Ma’am” so often; but this is quite a mistake. It
+sounds very awkward to leave it out; and, what is worse, it sounds, and
+will always be thought, very ill-bred and disrespectful.
+
+There is no need to say “Sir” or “Ma’am” more than once at each time
+of speaking, though sometimes, in a very long sentence, it may be
+repeated. Some servants overdo it; but this is a much less serious
+fault than once leaving it out. I will give you a little conversation
+to show you how the “Ma’am” may come in at each time of speaking,
+without the least awkwardness:--
+
+_Mistress._--“Mary, do you always shake the beds, and make them as I
+told you?”
+
+_Mary._--“Yes, ma’am, I think so; but I am not quite sure that I
+remember all you said.”
+
+_Mistress._--“What did I say about uncovering the bed?”
+
+_Mary._--“You told me to pull the things down, and open the windows as
+soon as I could, ma’am, and leave the bed to air at least half an hour;
+but an hour or two in general.”
+
+_Mistress._--“Yes; never less than an hour or two, unless there is some
+great reason for haste. What about turning and shaking?”
+
+_Mary._--“To turn the under-mattress and palliasse once a-week, ma’am;
+and every morning to shake all the feathers from each corner of the
+bed, and then turn it half over, and knead and pinch about the feathers
+with both hands; then turn it quite over, and shake it at each corner
+again before I pushed the feathers into shape. And you said, ma’am,
+that I should take care to have rather more feathers at the top end
+than at the bottom.”
+
+_Mistress._--“Very well; and do you remember about the blankets?”
+
+_Mary._--“Yes, ma’am; you said that if there was more than one blanket,
+the top one should be put on crosswise, that it may tuck up well; and
+that one should be put low enough to tuck well in at the foot.”
+
+_Mistress._--“Very well remembered. And do you attend to all this?”
+
+_Mary._--“Yes, ma’am, I think so.”
+
+There is nothing awkward or in any way remarkable in this. Mary’s
+answers are only what those of any girl would be who had been for some
+time in service.
+
+I had once a girl with me whose name was Lucy. She constantly omitted
+to say “Ma’am,” in addressing me; as, “What do you say?”--“Oh,
+no”--“Thank you”--and so on. I told her frequently of the omission,
+but it seemed impossible to impress her; and it became so disagreeable
+to me to speak at all with her while her questions and answers were so
+uncourteous, that I began to fear, much as I liked her in all other
+respects, that I must send her from the house. It at last occurred to
+me, that as young girls are often apt to fancy a particular direction
+given to them is unnecessary, and prompted only by a whim of their
+employer, perhaps Lucy thought I was asking her to do something
+ridiculously servile, and that would not be required of her in another
+place; so, on telling her once more of her fault, I finished by saying,
+“I am quite sure that the next servant from a gentleman’s house, or
+the next decent person of lowly station, who may chance to come here,
+will not speak to me once without saying ‘Ma’am.’ If any one of the
+kind should be coming, I will stay and talk a little in your presence,
+that you may see.” That very evening Lucy’s elder sister came in: as
+I chanced to hear her knock, I went down at once, and stayed speaking
+to her of her former places, her sick child, and her absent husband.
+The good woman, of course, never omitted to say “Ma’am,” each time she
+spoke. Lucy and I never mentioned the subject again, and Lucy never
+forgot the lesson. I saw then that my suspicion of Lucy’s unwillingness
+was true: when once her judgment was convinced, her memory was good
+enough. Now, if you feel doubtful, like Lucy, of the necessity of
+saying “Ma’am” and “Sir” so often, listen to the first good servant, or
+the first tradesman, you hear talking with a lady or gentleman, and
+you will see I am right.
+
+In some houses, the lady will like you to say “Sir” or “Miss” to
+the children; but in others this is not done. Most ladies allow the
+servants to call the children “Dear,” or by their names, in speaking
+_to_ them. I think, if you are not directed what to do in this respect,
+you will be safe in saying “Sir” or “Miss” to those who are old or
+well-behaved enough to treat you civilly, as the grown-up ladies and
+gentlemen do, and “Dear” to those who romp and play with you like
+children.
+
+Whatever you may call the children, in speaking _to_ them, always speak
++OF+ them as “Master John,” “Miss Julia,” and so on; except to the
+other children, to whom you may say “John,” “Julia,” &c. Even should
+the lady or gentleman say to you, “Tell John to come in,” you should
+still answer, “_Master_ John is in, sir.” Of course, a mere infant
+will be called “Baby;” but, however young this “Baby” may be when
+another comes to take the name, the elder baby must be called “Miss” or
+“Master,” when spoken about.
+
+In some houses, the servants call the lady and gentleman of the house
+“My master” and “My mistress;” in others, “Mr. Smith” and “Mrs.
+Smith,” or by whatever may be the surname, I would advise you in this
+matter to follow the custom of the house you are in. You are most
+likely to be in families where the first mode of speaking is adopted;
+but whichever title you may give your master and mistress, in speaking
+_of_ them, be sure you never address them by a surname; as, “Thank
+you, Mr. Smith.” This would sound very rude. The simple “Sir” and
+“Ma’am”--of which we have before spoken--is always the right word to
+use in speaking +TO+ a lady or gentleman.
+
+Lucy thought she might speak of all the family in the same way as of
+her master and mistress, and would say, “My master’s brother”--“My
+master’s mother”--“Your sister, ma’am;” but this was a great mistake.
+Any one else should always be spoken of by name; as, “Mr. Frederick,”
+“Mrs. Grant,” “Miss Grant,” &c.
+
+If you wish to call your mistress, as it may sometimes chance, in a
+hurry,--or on going into a dark room, to ask if she is there,--do not
+call her by name, as, “Mrs. Smith!” but speak in some way that does not
+need the use of a name; as, “Are you there, ma’am?”--“Can I speak to
+you, ma’am?” Once Lucy (who is still with me, and now so well-mannered
+a girl, that strangers often remark her with praise) wished to stop
+me in haste, as I passed, to prevent my brushing some wet paint: she
+had only time for a word, and called out, “Mistress!” I thought this
+sounded more respectful than if she had called me by name; but she
+might have said, “Stop, ma’am!”
+
+I need scarcely tell you that you should never speak of any lady or
+gentleman, whether friends of your mistress or not, without saying
+“Mr.” or “Mrs.” before the name. It is sometimes a habit with tradesmen
+and others, for quickness, to say, “Up at Green’s,” “Over at Turner’s,”
+&c., in speaking of gentlemen’s houses; but this sounds very unbecoming
+in a servant. If, in speaking of your master’s next-door neighbour to
+him, you say, “The blinds are down at Anderson’s,” he will naturally
+suppose that were you speaking of his house to Mr. Anderson, you would
+say, “They are not down at Taylor’s”--or whatever his name may be; so
+you are guilty of rudeness, in a certain way, to both your master and
+his neighbour. I should not have thought any girl in service would need
+to be warned against this mistake, had it not been committed by Rose,
+who always spoke of my neighbours as “the Browns,” “the Millers,”
+&c. There is no harm in speaking thus of tradesmen; as, “Over at
+Thompson’s,” “Past Eley’s dairy,” &c.; but private houses should never
+be so styled.
+
+The servant who remembers to address thus civilly and respectfully
+those put above her, will be almost sure to gain courtesy and respect
+in return. In good houses, where such rules are scrupulously observed
+by the servants, the ladies and gentlemen seldom command, but almost
+always _ask_ a servant to do a thing, and thank her for anything done.
+A civil “Shall I do it, ma’am?” will gain for answer, “If you please,
+Mary;” while in common houses, where servants are allowed to neglect
+the courtesies of their station, they are roughly ordered, and seldom
+addressed by name: the rude “Shall I get it?” is answered by “To be
+sure,” and the service done received without a word of recognition.
+
+The higher your place is, the more courtesy you will meet with from
+your employers; but, as is only fair, the more courtesy will be
+required also from you. I am, therefore, advising you only to do that
+which will bring its own return to you--to give that which will be
+exactly paid back to you.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+_STANDING AND MOVING._
+
+
++Always move gently.+
+
+You must never run up and down stairs, unless, perhaps, you can trip
+_down_ very lightly; but no one can run _up_ lightly enough. However
+lightly you may go down, it should never be fast enough to make it
+difficult to stop, or to make it possible for you to knock against
+anyone at a corner. Your step should never be heard, either on the
+stairs or elsewhere. Never rush in haste to the letter-box, or go
+anywhere, or for any purpose at more than a gentle pace. I do not mean
+that you may not move quickly, but it should always be as _gently_ as
+a lady would move, if she were observed. I say “if she were observed,”
+because a lady has a right in her own house, to run up-stairs, or to a
+letter-box, sing across the hall, call to her husband up-stairs, and
+do many other things that she would not do in the house of another
+lady, or with strangers round her. You should remember that, as long as
+you are in service, you are always in the house of another, and have
+strangers round you, and should not think, therefore, that because your
+mistress chooses to let her voice or step be heard, you are at liberty
+to do the same: always move as gently, then, as the ladies do in the
+drawing-room. Avoid all kind of roughness and noisiness; remembering,
+as I said when speaking against loud talking, that by being careless in
+this matter, you make yourself as troublesome as a noisy child.
+
+
++Always stand still and keep your hands before you, or at your sides,
+when you are speaking or being spoken to.+
+
+This is always a great trouble with a young girl on entering service.
+When speaking, or being spoken to, she does not know what to do with
+her hands, how to stand, or how to look. I shall make you laugh if
+I tell you some of the awkward things my girls have done with their
+hands, till I taught them better. I am sure, however, that if they were
+here, they would say you were welcome to laugh, and would join merrily
+with you, so I will tell you a few. Mary used always to put her arms
+akimbo, as she stood still to talk or listen: when I told her not to do
+this, she grew more awkward, thinking she was observed, and, directly
+I began to speak to her, would pin her cap on. I, out of consideration
+for her distress, did not notice this for some time, hoping she would
+soon leave it off; but finding that the habit rather increased than
+diminished, pity for her caps made me speak once more, and I told her
+to keep her hands quietly before her. This only made her tie and untie
+her apron strings, till, after being told once or twice more, she at
+last learned to stand still.
+
+Lucy used to fold her hands behind her, or stick one in her side and
+rub her nose with the other; but she is a sensible girl, and on being
+once told to keep her hands quietly in front of her, learned to do so.
+
+Anna, a very awkward girl, used to scratch her head; and it proved how
+completely these things came from mere awkwardness and habit, that
+in every case these girls could stand quietly enough when talking to
+a child or friend: it was only in speaking to some one of superior
+station that these signs of uneasiness showed themselves, and then
+they were sure to appear.
+
+I felt very much for these poor girls, because when I had once told
+them not to do these things with their hands, they were all the more
+awkward. Had they begun by standing still, I should never have thought
+of observing them; but having once called my attention to their
+positions, they knew they were looked at, and therefore felt miserable,
+till they at last learned to stand quietly, and so became sensible that
+they no longer attracted attention.
+
+Now you, by profiting from their experience, may avoid all their
+trouble and awkwardness. If you begin by standing quietly, and holding
+your hands before you, or at your side, or one before you and one at
+your side, or, when answering the bell, one on the door-handle, there
+will be nothing to call attention to your position, and you will escape
+being scrutinized.
+
+It is common to tell servants to meet the eye of their mistress, and
+look in her face while speaking to, or being spoken to by, her; but it
+is better not to stare the whole time in a lady’s face, but to look
+down occasionally, and look up on answering, or from time to time;
+indeed, to do what seems natural, which a continual stare does not.
+
+On answering the bell, you should generally shut the door, and stand
+close to it while receiving your order. If no one notices you, stand
+till your mistress looks round. If she is alone, or not talking, you
+may say, “Did you ring, ma’am?” but if she is talking, you must wait,
+be it ever so long, till she has done. It is not likely, however, that
+you will ever have to wait more than a minute or two, as some one in
+the room will be sure to see you, if the mistress does not, and to call
+her attention to you.
+
+There are some cases where it is better to walk up to your mistress’
+side, as when she is making tea in a room full of company, or at any
+other time when you feel that she would not like to speak across the
+room, or when you have something to say which it is better to say in a
+low voice. Your own sense must guide you in this.
+
+Sometimes you may be doing something by your mistress’ side, giving her
+a light, for example, to seal a letter, and she may say to you, “Wait a
+few moments, and you shall take this.” In such a case you should walk
+to the door and stand there: but this need not be done unless you will
+have to wait some moments, as in giving a baby to say “Good night” to
+its parents, or waiting for a letter to be directed and sealed. In
+giving a teapot for tea to be put in, or anything else that will only
+occupy the time that you would take in walking to the door and back
+again, it is better to stand by the side of the person on whom you are
+waiting. This is another matter in which you must exercise your own
+judgment. Even the size of the room makes some difference in the cases
+where it is proper to go to the door.
+
+If, while you are walking to or from the door, anyone should speak to
+you, stand still, wherever you may be, turn your face round to the
+speaker, and remain in the same place till the speaking is over. I
+mention this, because I have seen Lucy walk backwards to the door by
+degrees, if I chanced to address her as she was on her way there. This
+is not only unnecessary, but it has an awkward effect.
+
+If you join with the family in prayer, always sit close by the side of
+the door, or if the furniture is so placed as not to allow of this,
+go as near as you can to the door. Where there are more servants than
+one, it is usual for the youngest to sit nearest to the door, the next
+eldest, or next in position after her, and so on, the upper servant
+sitting furthest from the door: sometimes two servants sit one on each
+side of the door.
+
+If a kind master or mistress should say, on a cold night, “Come further
+up, Mary; do not sit just in the draught of the door;” still be careful
+not to seem to join the family, but go only a little higher. Never draw
+your chair away from the wall.
+
+The same may be said of any occasion upon which you may enter a lady’s
+room; as taking a child to see a friend of the family, visiting an
+old mistress, &c. Excepting in the case of family prayer, you would,
+however, of course stand up on the entrance of the lady, and sit only
+at her bidding: and even at prayers, you should not sit at once, unless
+the ladies and gentlemen are seated when you enter, but stand before
+your chair till all are seated, and then sit unbidden.
+
+
++Always stand up when a lady or gentleman comes into the room in which
+you are.+
+
+This rule has, however, some exceptions. If you are at work, and your
+mistress comes in merely to fetch something, without noticing you, it
+is scarcely necessary to rise, though were she to have strangers with
+her it would be well to do so, and to remain standing till they went
+out, or bid you be seated.
+
+If your mistress comes in, alone or not, _and speaks to you_, always
+get up, and stand till she has done speaking: you may then sit down,
+but not, remember, till she has done speaking to you. I am supposing
+that, having done speaking, she stays in the room to speak to somebody
+else, or to do something after having done speaking to you. Should she
+speak to you again, it is civil to rise again on answering; but there
+is no need to do this if she speaks again without turning her head to
+look at you. Should your mistress seldom visit your rooms, I would
+advise you to rise each time, on her speaking to you, or to stand all
+the while she is in the room; but if you are one of only two servants,
+or an only servant, so that your mistress is often in your rooms, she
+will not expect you to do more than rise on her entering, and stand
+till she has done speaking the first time, and then sit, without rising
+again.
+
+If you are kneeling down to clean a stove, or sweep, and your mistress
+comes to speak to you, it will generally be enough to leave off working
+and rise half up, on your knees. A mistress who is thrown with you
+often will not expect more, as getting up, and leaving off your work,
+would be too great a hindrance: you should, however, do this to a
+visitor in the house, or to your mistress entering with strangers.
+
+A nurserymaid, whose mistress is much in the nursery with her, will
+of course rise, and give up her chair to her mistress, or place one
+for her; but she may then sit down again unbidden, at a respectful
+distance, not on the opposite side of the fire, or at the same table.
+If her mistress enters the nursery, and begins at once to play,
+standing, with the children, or goes to a cupboard or the window,
+so not needing a chair, the nurse may sit still: but should she be
+occupying the chief seat in the room, which she may always do in her
+mistress’ absence, she must be sure to give it up at the slightest sign
+of the lady’s intending to remain and sit down.
+
+It is difficult to give precise rules about this matter of rising and
+standing, as every lady may differ slightly in her ideas of what is
+right. These are the rules I like to have observed in my house, and
+I think any servant practising them will give satisfaction; as most
+ladies care only to see in their servants the desire to show respect,
+without troubling themselves to notice every little particular.
+
+I suppose few girls need to be warned against sitting unbidden, in the
+presence of a lady or gentleman, in any room in which they are not
+accustomed to sit. Yet I know some girls do need it, for I remember two
+instances of servants who have sat down in my presence unbidden.
+
+Rose came in once, tired from a walk. I was sitting under a veranda,
+and she sank down on a chair beside me, as she gave her message. Had
+this happened in her own kitchen it would have been improper, but it
+was even more so in a place more distinctly belonging to me.
+
+Again: I was once in the nursery bedroom when Anna came in, panting,
+with a can of water. As I spoke to her, she sank down on a chair,
+saying, “Excuse me, ma’am, I am so tired.” But I could not excuse
+either her or Rose. Both acted very rudely. It would have been but
+a small effort to stand for a few moments, however tired they might
+be; and girls who are not capable of such an effort are not fit
+for service. Supposing a case of real exhaustion were to occur,
+or faintness, that allowed time for doing so, a girl should ask
+permission _before sitting_, and not beg pardon after. Sudden illness
+would, of course, excuse sitting suddenly; but I am not now talking of
+that, and without that there is not likely to be a case where a girl
+need ask leave to sit down in the presence of her mistress.
+
+Should you ever be required to walk with a lady or gentleman, to carry
+a baby or a parcel, always keep a few paces behind.
+
+When you open the street-door, do not stand behind it, so that the
+person at the door has to come quite in before seeing you.
+
+In meeting a lady or gentleman on the stairs, if you are but a step or
+two up, go back and stand on the landing to give room. If you are too
+far up for this, stand on one side. Always remember, in meeting, to
+retire and make way, or to stand aside.
+
+In entering a room to deliver a message, or speak to your mistress,
+observe the same rule as in answering the bell. In most cases it will
+be right to shut the door and stand beside it; but when other people
+are present, and the message is intended only for the lady, go up to
+her side and speak. Here you must judge for yourself.
+
+There are many other directions that I might give you under this head
+of “Standing and Moving;” but I think, if you study and practise all
+that I have given, you will find the others come naturally, and you
+will shortly become a pleasing and graceful girl, such as ladies will
+like to see and to have about them in their houses.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+_WAITING AT TABLE._
+
+
+In giving directions for waiting at table, I shall describe the kind of
+dinner at which you are likely to assist. It will be of no use to tell
+you how to wait at a stately dinner, where all the dishes are cut up at
+a side-table, and wine is handed round, for at such dinners only men
+wait; nor will I speak of dinners a little less formal, but still large
+and costly, at which two or three thorough house and parlour-maids
+wait; for before you are admitted to such service, you will be expected
+to have gone through some practice in waiting, and it is for a small
+dinner at which you would acquire such practice that I will give my
+rules,--such a dinner as we may suppose to be served in the house of a
+gentleman keeping only two or three servants.
+
+In dressing yourself to wait at table, see that your hands and nails
+are scrupulously clean. Use a nail-brush, warm water, and plenty of
+soap. If your mistress likes it, and you can manage it, wear clean
+white under-sleeves; for your hand and arm will be often put close
+to the guests and their food, and should, therefore, look clean and
+pleasant.
+
+It may be useful to some of you to have a few hints about laying the
+cloth. It is a thing I have always had to teach my young servants to
+do, and many of you who can do it for an every-day dinner, of two or
+three persons, may still be puzzled by having to place a few extra
+things on the table.
+
+First, see that the cloth is laid even on the table, the middle crease
+being straight down the centre; then put to each person a table-napkin
+folded, with a thick piece of bread in it: for this purpose a thick
+round of bread should be cut into six pieces. I cannot describe to
+you how to fold the napkin for this; but should you not be able to
+get your mistress or any one else to show you, let the napkin lie in
+a neat small square, and place the bread at the left side of each
+person; next, put as many knives and forks as will be wanted to each
+person; and if there is to be soup, a table or dessert-spoon, as your
+mistress may provide. If there is to be fish, meat, and poultry, each
+person will want two knives and three forks, for no knife is used for
+fish; they must be laid side by side, the knives on the right hand
+of the napkin, and the forks on the left; the people sitting at the
+top and bottom of the table must also have a carving-knife and fork.
+Now put a dessert-spoon and fork, across, at the top of each napkin,
+laying the prongs of the fork close to the handle of the spoon, and
+the bowl of the spoon by the handle of the fork; they are to lie side
+by side, but the crossway of the table. The salt-cellars, previously
+well filled and stamped, should be put at each corner of the table,
+with two table-spoons crossed, and laid so that each salt-cellar stands
+between the two bowls of the spoons. Put the cruets in the middle of
+the table, with mats on each of the four sides, ready for the meat and
+vegetables. Unless the table is very small, there will be room for the
+lamp between the cruets and meat-mat. There should be knife-rests top
+and bottom, on which you should rest the tips of the carving-knives
+and forks. Horseradish, jam, or anything else in a small glass dish,
+can be placed at the corners, or along the sides, according to the
+size of the table, and shapes of the dishes. A tumbler, and one or two
+wine-glasses, as your mistress may direct, should be put at the right
+hand of each person, and water-bottles, with tumblers over them, at
+each corner of the table.
+
+When the dinner is ready to be served up, you will put fish at the top
+of the table and soup at the bottom, a pile of soup-plates, with a
+napkin on the top, before the soup, and meat-plates, with a napkin on
+the top, before the fish. The fish-slice should be put in front of the
+dish; and if wine is to be on the table, let it be at the corners.
+
+Before we proceed to the announcement of the dinner, let us talk a
+little of the arrangement of the sideboard.
+
+When you are arranging the dinner-table, put a cloth also on the
+sideboard, and think of all you will want for the different courses.
+Every thing that can be kept in the room should be placed there in
+readiness, to prevent the necessity of going in and out while you are
+waiting.
+
+You should have pudding-plates in a pile, two to each person, as some
+may take more than one kind of pudding or tart, and these are put
+on the table cold; the meat-plates must be kept down-stairs at the
+fire, as they should be hot. Sometimes, where a fire-screen hides
+the fireplace, I have seen meat-plates kept hot in the fender of the
+dining-room; but, as they are not put on the table one by one, as the
+pudding-plates are, it is but little trouble to fetch the pile up from
+the kitchen when it is needed. You should also have on your sideboard
+a knife-tray, with knives, forks, and spoons of all sizes, as you can
+never tell exactly what number may be called for. It is safe to have
+half-a-dozen more of each than you see use for; if they are not needed,
+they are clean to put away, and no time has been lost by having them
+at hand; if they are needed, and are not ready, much time and credit
+are lost in running to look them up in the middle of dinner. You will
+probably want pounded white sugar for the tarts, and there will be beer
+in a jug or bottles, and a jug of cold water in case the water-bottles
+should be emptied.
+
+You should have also a loaf of bread, or a bread-basket with some
+small thick pieces ready cut, a corkscrew, cheese-plates in a pile;
+the cheese on a dish covered by a crochet or other cheese-mat;
+perhaps celery in a dish, or mixed salad in a salad-bowl; butter and
+butter-knife; all of which should be put close together, because
+belonging to one course. I have not mentioned small knives for the
+cheese, because we may suppose they are in the knife-tray, though it
+will save time and noise to have the right number by the cheese-plates.
+
+Now comes the dessert course. All the dishes nicely arranged, the
+fruit perhaps decked with leaves, and the table-spoons laid on such
+dishes as require spoons for helping; the dessert-plates in a pile;
+two wine-glasses for each person; doyleys in a pile; and wine in the
+decanters. Remember, if there are nuts of any kind, to keep up one or
+two of the salt-cellars, and to have nutcrackers laid on the dish.
+
+I think you will now have all that can be properly put on a sideboard,
+and you will find the convenience very great of having so many things
+within reach, as it is indispensable that you stay in the room as much
+as possible while waiting. I may add that any cold tart or pudding,
+jelly, blanc-mange, custards, and the like, can also be on the
+sideboard.
+
+All being ready on the sideboard and table, see to the fire and candles
+(should there be any), and then walk across to the drawing-room, where
+the company are, and go in; shut and hold the door in your hand, and
+say in a clear voice, “Dinner is on the table, ma’am.” Go out again,
+shut the door, and walk to the further side of the dining-room door,
+which you should throw open, and stand there till the ladies and
+gentlemen are all gone in, when you should follow, shut the door,
+and walk to your master’s side and stand there while grace is said;
+immediately after which remove the covers, first from the soup and
+fish, and then from the potatoes. The covers should be put on the
+dinner-tray, which should be on its own stand, as near as convenient to
+the door. After this, take the plates from the carvers and hand them
+round as quickly and quietly as you can. You will probably be told
+for whom each plate is intended, or you will have heard who was first
+asked to take soup or fish; but should this not be the case, you must
+take the first plate to the first lady, and ask, “Will you take soup,
+ma’am?” If she says “No,” go to the next, and so on, taking fish to
+those who refused soup. You cannot do very wrong if you begin with the
+lady whom your master led in to dinner; and, after going to all the
+ladies, begin with the gentleman who led your mistress in--leaving your
+mistress to the last of the ladies, and your master of the gentlemen.
+Potato is eaten with fish, and if you can get time, between taking each
+plate from the carver, to give the potatoes to the person to whom
+you give the plate, it will be best to do so; but this will not do if
+you are not ready to take the next plate. It is very likely that some
+one at the table will offer to help the vegetables, seeing you busy
+with handing the plates; if so, as soon as you have set all the plates
+round, relieve this person by taking the potatoes round to those who
+may not yet be served; you may then see that each person has melted
+butter, or sauce, and anchovy. In handing potatoes, take the vegetable
+dish to the left side of the person, and say, if you are not noticed,
+“Will you take potato, sir?” but always in a low voice. In handing
+anchovy you may take the cruets, or the anchovy-bottle only, on a small
+tray, saying, in the same way, “Anchovy, sir,” or whatever else it may
+be, as the people will like to know what sauce it is before taking it.
+
+Watch the plates, and as soon as any one lays down his fork or spoon,
+take the plate away, saying in a low voice, “Will you take more fish,
+sir?” If no more is taken, put the plate and fork which have been used
+in the dinner-tray or basket provided for the purpose, and do the same
+till all the plates are removed. You will then take away the soup and
+fish, and carry all on the tray out of the room. I am supposing now
+that there is another servant below. She will by this time have the
+meat and fowls ready dished-up. You will empty the tray as quickly
+as possible, and bring up the fresh course. Put the poultry to your
+mistress at the top of the table, and the meat to your master at the
+bottom; the vegetables on the middle at each side of the cruets;
+plates before both dishes, and then remove all covers, hand plates as
+before, and then see that every one has vegetables, always putting the
+vegetable dish back to its place on the table, also mustard, and any
+sauce, jam, &c., that may be eaten with each dish. Having seen to all
+this, it will be time to take round the beer, should it not have been
+asked for before. Take the jug or bottle in one hand, and a small tray
+in the other, and go all round the table, saying to each person who
+does not see you and at once give the tumbler, “Do you take beer, sir?”
+holding the tray at the person’s left side for the tumbler. Those who
+take it will put the tumbler on your tray, where you will fill it, and
+hold it to be taken off again. Should any one chance to say “Yes,” and
+yet go on talking without giving you his tumbler, you must of course
+take it up and put it down again yourself; but this is not likely to
+happen often, as the tray in your hand reminds the visitor that he is
+to put his glass there. In pouring out bottled beer, be careful of two
+things: first, having once turned the bottle over to fill one glass, to
+carry it leaning down in the same position to the next person, as by
+turning it upright again you spoil the beer; secondly, not to make “a
+head” with bottled beer, but pour it very gently close to the side of
+the glass, or it will froth over and fill your tray.
+
+Having taken beer all round, stand again near the sideboard, but in
+such a way that you may watch the plates, and supply vegetables, sauce,
+and mustard, &c., to any one who may be without, and take away the
+plates of those who lay down their knives and forks. In taking each
+plate, ask, as before, if more will be taken; if so, take the plate for
+more, first removing any bones or fat left on the side; but any one
+taking meat after fowl, or fowl after meat, must of course have a clean
+plate, for which purpose you must always have hot plates ready. If they
+can stand in the fender, they will be hotter than on the sideboard; but
+should it not be possible to put them in the fender, they should be
+made very hot before coming up. When any one has finished altogether,
+put a cold pudding-plate in place of the plate you remove, and leave it
+there ready for pudding, so that by the time all have done, there will
+be pudding-plates ready all round.
+
+You will now remove the meat, poultry, and vegetables, and carry them
+down with the plates which have been used as before, bringing any hot
+pudding or sauce up with you. The pudding must now be put to your
+mistress, and tart to your master. You will then hand the plates again.
+Each person will give you an empty plate in exchange for the plate of
+pudding or tart you take, and you will carry this to be filled, and
+again exchange it till all are served; you will then take round sauce
+or sugar. Though, in handing things _that people take from you_, you
+should go on the left side, that the visitor may use his right hand,
+yet in putting down a plate, or anything that _is not taken from you_
+it is more convenient for you to go on the right side. This you will
+soon find out by practice.
+
+As the pudding-plates are done with, take each one away and put down
+a cheese-plate, with a small knife, in its place. If there should be
+game you will put no plate, as a pile of hot plates will come up with
+the game. I need give no directions concerning game, because they are
+served in the same way as meat or poultry, with hot plates, potatoes,
+bread-sauce, gravy, &c., all of which you will know how to manage,
+having gone through the meat course. So we will suppose there is no
+game, but cheese after the pudding.
+
+When all have finished with the pudding and tart, and you have removed
+the plates and put down cheese-plates, you will place the cheese on the
+table to your master, and celery or salad to your mistress, putting the
+butter near the cruets in the centre.
+
+Your master will now cut several pieces of cheese and put them into
+his own plate, which he will give to you. You must hand this plate
+all round; each person, who wishes it, will take a small piece with
+his knife, (here you should go on the left side), and having gone all
+round, you should take the plate back and put it down before your
+master. It will now be right to take beer round again; also bread, to
+those who may have none. Bottled beer should have the corks drawn in
+the room, at the sideboard.
+
+In removing the cheese-plates, you must not put down dessert-plates,
+as the whole table will now have to be cleared. As soon as all have
+finished cheese, take away cheese-dish and celery-dish, cruets,
+salt-cellars, and everything. This should be done by taking round a
+small tray and filling it, and then emptying it into the large tray,
+till the whole table is cleared; and should be done as quickly and
+quietly as possible. Some ladies like the table-cloth removed for the
+dessert, but it is usually left on; sometimes two clean table-cloths
+are put on, one over the other, so that the top one may be removed, and
+yet a white cloth remain. In any case, the crumbs are usually brushed
+off into a tray, with a brush made for the purpose, and the cloth made
+perfectly clean; but in some houses the crumbs are left and folded in
+the cloth, which is shaken afterwards down stairs. All pieces of bread
+left should be taken up with a fork, not with the hand, and put on the
+small tray into which the crumbs are swept, unless removed by a fork,
+with the glasses, &c. If wine or beer is left in a glass, do not hurry
+it away too quickly, but should it not be emptied when you are going to
+sweep the cloth, you must remove it with your last tray full.
+
+When the cloth is removed, or ready swept for dessert, put the
+fruit-dishes on the table. It will be well to have asked your mistress
+how she will like them placed; but there is not much difficulty
+about it. If only two, they must be put top and bottom; if four, the
+principal ones top and bottom, and the others on each side; if six,
+there will be two at each side. A large round raised dish, if there be
+any, should stand in the centre. The wine decanters must all be placed
+in the front of your master.
+
+Having placed the dishes, give to each person a plate with a doyley
+in it, and a finger-glass, should there be any, or two wine-glasses
+standing on the doyley. Should there be fruit-knives and forks, they
+must also be put round with the plates. The table being arranged for
+dessert, you should make up the fire and leave the room, your work of
+waiting is ended. While dinner is going on, you should manage to run in
+once to the drawing-room fire, or else ask the other servant to do so,
+for should you forget it till dessert is on the table, the probability
+is that it will then be out, and you will not only have the trouble
+of lighting it, but will be thought neglectful by the ladies, who
+generally leave the dessert-table very soon, and go to the drawing-room.
+
+When there is only one servant kept, and no extra help procured for
+dinner, the servant cannot, of course, be in the room the whole time
+of dinner; she may, however, lay the cloth and arrange the sideboard as
+directed--her mistress probably helping her--and she may, just before
+she dishes up the dinner, put on a white apron, wash her hands, and
+smooth her hair; then having put the dinner on the table, announce
+it, walk to the dining-room door, follow the company in, remove the
+covers, hand the plates, pour out beer, and go down to prepare the next
+course. In such a case, people help each other to vegetables, and when
+one course is over, the master will ring the bell; but if the servant
+can manage to run up (having put the next course ready for the tray),
+and take away the plates, &c. before her master rings, it will be
+much better, and will save his rising from the table, which is always
+awkward. Every girl should study the foregoing directions for waiting,
+and, according to her quickness and method, she will be able to carry
+them out more or less, when she has the cooking also on her hands.
+When the puddings are once up, there is no occasion to leave the room
+again, as all that is wanted for cheese and dessert will be ready on
+the sideboard. In all probability, the dinner will be very simple when
+one servant manages all. There will be no game, and perhaps no fish or
+soup; so that the difficulty will be much less than in the dinner we
+have described above. A single servant, still more than one who has a
+cook down-stairs to help, will find the advantage of having plenty of
+hot plates, knives, forks, spoons, &c., ready for use, as there is no
+hindrance so great as having to search for, or clean up these things in
+the middle of waiting.
+
+Let every girl remember that a simple dinner, with good waiting, will
+always appear more hospitable, and be more comfortable, than a costly
+one, with bad waiting: every mistress is sensible of this, yet few
+who do not keep a regular housemaid, expect to get good waiting. The
+girl, then, who chooses to study and practise these directions, will
+be valued accordingly. It will generally be a surprise to the mistress
+of a young and inexperienced servant, to find her able to do what
+is looked upon as the work of a higher servant, and yet any girl of
+common sense will find it perfectly practicable to do all that I have
+directed, though it may require the practice of three or four dinners
+to make every thing come quite easily.
+
+Before leaving this subject, I must not forget to warn you against
+smiling at droll stories told at table, or seeming in any way to
+notice or enter into the conversation. Should it even happen that all
+at table are wishing to know something which you could tell them in
+a word or two--as, whether it was the baker or the butcher who was
+run over; whether the clergyman had found his stray cow or not;--you
+must still be silent, unless you are appealed to, and then answer
+modestly, in as few words as possible. If the question you are able
+to answer should chance to be of consequence,--as whether the coach a
+gentleman wished to return in had passed or not, you might go up to
+your mistress, and say, in a low voice, “The coach is not gone, ma’am;
+it does not pass now till nine o’clock,”--supposing you were certain
+of being well informed; but even then, speak in a voice that only your
+mistress may hear; for you may have misunderstood the conversation, and
+it is possible that the question may be best left unanswered.
+
+I advise you to read this chapter through several times, as it contains
+many directions; and you will find that even after having studied them
+carefully, the bustle of a dinner-table will be very likely to drive
+many of them from your head, till practice has made them familiar to
+you. When you know all these rules, the difficulty of waiting at table
+consists in the necessity of being quick, and, at the same time, expert
+and noiseless. It is better to be slow, than to spill gravy, overturn
+glasses, catch your foot in chair legs, let things fall, or make noises
+with knocking china and glass; and yet a slow waiter is very tiresome.
+Every time you wait, you will do better than the last, and it should be
+your constant aim to become less noisy, and more quick.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+_MISCELLANEOUS DIRECTIONS._
+
+
+OPENING THE DOOR TO VISITORS.
+
+In opening the door to a double knock, or ring of the visitors’ bell,
+be very careful that you are neat. If an only servant, you should ask
+your mistress to let you have a little looking-glass in the kitchen,
+that you may glance at your face and hair before going to open the
+door. It takes but a minute to smooth down a few stray hairs, or wipe
+off an accidental smut, and it makes a great difference in the notion
+given to a stranger, of the house, to see a servant without these
+disfigurements. It is well to have a white apron always at hand, which
+you may tie on as you are going up stairs, so that very little time
+need be occupied in these preparations; but should they make such delay
+as to oblige the visitor to knock twice, even that will be better than
+going up untidy. With good habits, a servant will always, if not
+dressed, be clean, after the time at which visitors are likely to come;
+but should it happen, through any irregularity, that your hands are
+dirty with black lead, whitening, or any conspicuous dirt, you must
+even stay to wash them, before opening to a visitor; it must of course
+be done as quickly as possible, and if gloves are worn, as they should
+be for all dry dirty work, this necessity is the less likely to arise.
+
+Remember that the door should be opened as quickly as possible, and
+nothing but the necessity of making yourself neat should cause you to
+delay.
+
+When you open the door you should not speak, for the visitor will do
+so. Should the person be ever so well dressed, and yet ask only for
+“your mistress,” or “the lady of the house,” do not ask such a one
+into a room where there is anything valuable. The hall, if there is no
+common room at hand, is the best place for those who do not ask for
+your master or mistress by name. Well-dressed impostors are constantly
+calling at houses, with the design of pilfering while left alone in the
+drawing-room; and any friend of your mistress is sure to ask for her by
+name--“Is Mrs. So-and-so at home?” To any one asking thus, you will
+say, “Yes, ma’am,” or “Sir, will you walk in?” The visitor may perhaps
+say, “No,” and only leave a card or message, and go away. In this case,
+keep the door open a little while; it is rude to shut it immediately.
+
+If the visitor comes in, you should then ask, “What name shall I say,
+sir?” or “ma’am?” and having carefully listened to the name, walk
+before to the room into which you have been directed to show visitors;
+should the room be empty, throw open the door, and let the visitor pass
+you into the room; then shut the door, and go up to tell your mistress
+who is come. If there are persons in the room to which you take the
+visitor, you should open the door wide, go just inside, and say the
+visitor’s name, then stand on one side, let the visitor pass in, and
+shut the door as before.
+
+Here I must particularly warn you against a common fault of
+inexperienced servants. All young girls who announce visitors for the
+first time, are apt to say more than the name. Mary, the first time
+she opened the door to two gentlemen, came smiling into the room, as
+if she had a great treat in store for me, and said, in an excited
+voice, “If you please, ma’am, there are two friends come to see you!”
+Other servants have said, “If you please, ma’am, Mrs. Thornton wants
+to speak to you” “If you please, ma’am, here is Mr. and Miss Smith
+come.” Nothing of the sort is needed. There is one way of announcing
+visitors in every house; it is by simply opening the door, standing on
+one side and saying the name or names--no “if you please,” and even
+no “ma’am,” or “sir,” is to be used on this occasion--say only “Mrs.
+Thornton,”--“Mr. and Miss Smith,” and then stand back. If the visitor
+is just behind you, stand on one side, +INSIDE+ the drawing-room door;
+but if there is plenty of time, without pushing the visitor, when you
+have said the name, go +OUTSIDE+ the door and stand aside while waiting
+to shut it.
+
+You will then go again to your work, taking care, however, not to soil
+your hands till the visitor is gone. The bell may ring for you to take
+up wine and cake, or for some other purpose; but it is sure to ring at
+last, for you to open the door. If, on going up, you find the visitor
+leaving, you will know it was for that you were called, and will walk
+at once to the door, hold it open till the visitor passes out, and then
+shut it, as I said before, slowly.
+
+
+ANNOUNCING EVENING VISITORS.
+
+When visitors are expected to dinner or tea, it will be a little
+different. On opening the door, nothing will be said; for as they
+were invited, the visitors will, of course, know that your mistress
+is at home. Should it be a gentleman, you will help him to take off
+and hang up his coat and hat, and then ask his name: “What name, sir?”
+As new names are sometimes very difficult to catch, it is a good plan
+to repeat the name, that you may be sure you have heard it. I make a
+practice of telling the servant beforehand what names she will have to
+announce; and perhaps your mistress will not object to doing this, if
+you ask her; at any rate, to telling any names that may be difficult
+and quite new to you.
+
+When you know the name--we will suppose it is “Mr. Elliott”--walk
+before the gentleman to the drawing-room, throw open the door, and
+stand against it, just inside the room, allowing the gentleman to pass
+in, while you say, in a clear and rather loud voice, “Mr. Elliott.” You
+need not now say “sir” or “ma’am,” because you are not speaking to your
+master or mistress, but merely calling the name out for all the room
+to hear.
+
+We will now suppose the visitor to be a lady. You will then, on
+opening the door, ask, “Will you walk up stairs, ma’am?” If the lady
+says “No,” you will assist her with her shawl or cloak, and announce
+her exactly as you did the gentleman. Should she say, “Yes,” you will
+carry a candle before her to the bedroom, and go in with her to offer
+assistance in any toilet arrangements she may have to make. Should she
+decline your help, it is best to leave the room, and wait outside, or
+at the foot of the stairs, that you may be ready to take her candle,
+show her into the drawing-room, and announce her name, as with the
+others.
+
+If you are an only servant, and a bell rings while you are with or
+waiting for the lady, you must, of course, go down; but you should
+still be on the watch, and take care to be up in time to show the lady
+into the drawing-room.
+
+When a gentleman and lady come together, and the lady wishes to arrange
+her dress, you will show the gentleman at once to the drawing-room,
+and then take the lady up stairs. Sometimes the gentleman will choose
+to wait in the hall till the lady comes down; you have only then to
+remember not to leave him in the dark. Both, in this case, will be
+announced together. There will be no difficulty about which name to say
+first, as you will say them in whatever order they are told you; as,
+“Mr. and Mrs. Layton,” or “Mrs. Layton and Mr. John Layton.”
+
+
+MEETING IN THE STREET.
+
+If you meet any of your master’s family in the street, you need do
+nothing, unless you meet their eye; you should then make a slight bow
+or curtsey, and incline your head. Never smile and nod, except to a
+child. Should you meet any friend of the family, do nothing, unless you
+are noticed first; then curtsey, &c., as before.
+
+Should you meet any of the family in a church, or public place of any
+kind, always stand back, and make way for them to pass before you.
+
+
+SINGING.
+
+Nursemaids are often encouraged to sing in the nursery; but they should
+leave off immediately on the entrance of a lady or gentleman, and never
+sing in bedrooms or kitchens, or where their voices can be heard by
+the family. Nor should any servant sing at her work, unless in some
+place quite out of the hearing, either of the family or neighbours.
+
+
+THE USE OF THE TRAY.
+
+Never take a small thing into the room in your hand. Letters,
+money, small parcels, a glass, spoon, knife, reel of cotton, folded
+pocket-handkerchief, or any small thing, should be handed on a little
+tray, silver or not, kept for the purpose. A large parcel, a book so
+large as to look awkward on the letter-tray, a plate, and all larger
+things, may be given in the hand. Things handed on a tray should be
+left for the lady or gentleman to take up, and never lifted from the
+tray by the servant and given in the hand. Sometimes, when the lady or
+gentleman does not offer to take it, the servant may take it up _and
+put it down on the table beside the person_; but never give it with
+the hand, or the tray might as well not have been used. Sometimes, in
+fetching a bunch of keys from another part of the room, or picking up
+a small thing dropped, a tray may not be at hand, on which to give it;
+in such a case, do not offer to give it into the lady or gentleman’s
+hands, but lay it down at the side of the person to whom you are giving
+it.
+
+
+THE USE OF TRAY-CLOTHS.
+
+Some young servants are puzzled, when taking up food on a tray, to know
+when a tray-cloth should be used. I think I can give you a simple and
+sufficient rule. Put a tray-cloth on the tray whenever a cloth would be
+put on the table to a larger meal of the same food.
+
+You are to take up a mutton-chop with a cloth, because any meal of meat
+would be laid on a tablecloth. For a cup of tea or coffee, with or
+without bread and butter, if before dinner, put a cloth, because it may
+be regarded as a kind of breakfast, and a cloth is spread at breakfast;
+for the same after dinner, put no cloth, because it may be regarded as
+tea, and no cloth is spread at tea. Broth, gruel, and the like, should
+have a cloth; wine, spirits, beer, &c., unless bread and butter _not
+cut_ are with them, should have no cloth. When you are in doubt, put a
+cloth; for it is far better to put one unnecessarily, than to take a
+tray without one when it ought to be there.
+
+
+TAPPING AT THE DOOR.
+
+If you think for a few minutes +WHY+ we ever tap at a door before
+entering, you will be able to judge, almost without my telling you,
+when it is proper to do so. We tap to avoid entering suddenly upon a
+person who may be engaged in some way that may make our sudden entrance
+awkward.
+
+It seems hardly credible that a young woman should be so thoughtless
+as to enter a bedroom in which any one is without tapping; but I have
+frequently known this to be done. Be sure you never make this mistake;
+the result may be as awkward to you as to the person inside. Even if
+the bell is rung, and you are thus expected to go up, yet you are not
+expected to enter. In answer to a bedroom-bell, you should always tap,
+and wait outside for the order. If you are told to take up water or
+anything else, tap again, and say, “The water, sir,” or “ma’am.” You
+will then be told, “Put it down,” or “Bring it in,” or perhaps the
+person inside may come and take it from you.
+
+As a sitting-room may be regarded as public, there is no need to knock.
+Most young servants begin by knocking at every door; this is very
+tiresome, and quite without use.
+
+Some ladies like the servants to tap at every door, if they go in
+without being called or rung for; and where this is the custom of the
+house, you will, of course, do so; but even then it is superfluous to
+knock in answering a bell or call, as your entrance is expected.
+
+When you tap, do it with your knuckles; for the tap should be loud
+enough to be heard, without sounding rough and boisterous.
+
+There are some cases, as in a long illness, where a bedroom becomes
+almost as public as a sitting-room. Here you should use your judgment
+about tapping. When three or four people are inside, you may be sure
+you may enter at once; if the invalid is alone, or with one nurse or
+friend, it is safer to tap. You had better tap twenty times too often
+than once too seldom.
+
+
+THE GARDEN.
+
+I have seen servants make the mistake of going to walk or sit in the
+garden, as if it were a part of the house belonging to them, as the
+kitchen and servants’ bedrooms. I suppose the mistake has arisen from
+the nurse’s being often sent out to play with or watch the children in
+the garden. All servants, nurses or not, should look upon the garden as
+belonging to the ladies and gentlemen, as much as the upper rooms; and
+should no more think of sitting or walking unbidden in the one than in
+the other. When a nurse is sent to be with the children in the garden,
+the cook or housemaid should no more think of joining them there, than
+she would if they were in the nursery. Nor should any servant run,
+laugh, call out, or make a noise in the garden at any time; though when
+all the family are out, few people would object to a servant’s taking a
+quiet walk up and down, as the garden may be regarded in the same light
+as the hall and staircase, which are thoroughfares, and less private
+than rooms.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+_DRESS._
+
+
+Few young servants understand the importance of dressing well. When
+I say “well,” I do not mean expensively or gaudily, but properly and
+suitably.
+
+Nothing makes so favourable an impression on a stranger as a neat,
+clean appearance; and justly so, because we judge that the girl who
+keeps her own hands and clothes clean, will keep our food and utensils
+so also: we judge, too, that the girl who has method and neatness
+to get through her work without disordering her dress--for it is,
+of course, a little difficult to do so--must have generally good
+habits, and be able to manage in all other respects as well as she
+does in this. Besides, a stranger has no opportunity of discovering
+the good qualities of heart and mind which a girl may possess, and
+must therefore be influenced by what can be seen in a short time; and
+only dress and manners discover themselves on a first acquaintance.
+In going for a place, therefore, these two things are of great
+importance--dress, perhaps, even more than manners. I know, for my
+own part, that were I obliged to choose between an ill-mannered but
+neat and clean girl, and a slovenly, dirty girl of graceful manners, I
+would let the graceful sloven go, and choose the neat bungler; not only
+because awkward manners would vex me less than dirt and untidiness, but
+because I should feel they were sooner mended than habits of disorder
+and dirt. Ill-manners may exist in a nice girl, from mere ignorance,
+and be gladly cast aside on her receiving a little teaching; but the
+habits of a slattern can never exist without faults throughout the
+character, which are very difficult, if not impossible, to shake off,
+after womanhood. Let every young girl, then, begin early to prize
+neatness of person, which may be attained by even the poorest. The
+oldest dress, neatly patched, and even soiled, if the dirt be the
+unavoidable collection of long wear, and not careless grease spots
+and mud stains, may be consistent with a neat appearance. Clean skin
+and smooth hair, a collar nicely pinned, and the fastening of the
+dress perfect, will display the neatness of mind, which is all that
+we really care for. The girl who can keep so good an appearance with
+such poor means, will be sure to look nice in service, when her wages
+will enable her to get a new dress oftener. The poorer you may be, the
+more difficult you will find it to keep neat. This, instead of being a
+drawback, is really a help, inasmuch as it gives you better practice.
+Let every young girl begin at once; for the earlier she tries to form
+good habits, the easier she will find it. But I am now going to speak
+more particularly to those who have passed through their poorer days at
+home, and have now no longer poverty, but only work, to contend with.
+
+It is not so difficult for a single servant to keep neat as many
+suppose. Let her do all her dirty work early. Clean shoes, grates,
+knives, candlesticks, &c., before or directly after breakfast; and,
+while she is about this, let her wear a large coarse apron, and, when
+sleeves are worn tight, holland cuffs, or, when loose, let her turn
+them a little way up. Let her also wear housemaid’s gloves for all
+work that allows of them. These can be easily drawn off, and the apron
+untied, should the street or up-stairs bell ring. If the hands get
+blacked, or otherwise soiled, by any accident, wash them at once.
+Nothing makes so much dirt on the clothes, and about the house, as
+dirty hands. Every time you touch your dress or face they leave a mark.
+The doors, walls, shutters, &c., are continually soiled by a servant
+who is not careful of her hands; but the girl who is not afraid to
+spend a little money in working-gloves, or to take the trouble to wash
+her hands often, soon saves the money in caps, ribbons, and dress, and
+the trouble in washing and scrubbing both clothes and paint, besides
+getting credit and comfort from her cleanliness. The dirty work being
+done, it will only require a little care to keep clean and tidy during
+the rest of the day.
+
+It is best to have cotton dresses for morning wear, as they will always
+look clean and fresh with washing. A girl, on first going to service,
+will be wise to get two dark cottons for the morning, as it is likely
+that she will not manage her dirty work quite so cleanly at first, as
+she will after a little practice. As she improves in this respect, she
+may wear lighter dresses. I have had servants who could wear light
+lilac cottons for all their morning work, and yet keep them well for
+a fortnight. It is a great advantage when a girl can manage so well
+as this, as the family enjoy food and waiting better from a servant
+whose cleanliness they can see. A dark dress hides cleanness as well as
+dirt. But, should you not be able to manage the light morning-dress at
+once, take care always to have a clean cap and collar on. Do not let
+the difference between morning and evening dress be a greater and less
+degree of dirt; let it be merely a difference of kind. The morning cap
+clean, but of a simple kind, that will wash well; the collar plain, the
+dress of cotton: while the afternoon-dress may be of a handsomer sort;
+perhaps a cap that will not wash, or is more carefully made up; the
+dress better; the collar newer, or of different material. You must, of
+course, often wear things a little less clean in the morning than in
+the afternoon; but you should not allow this to be perceptible. Do not
+let any one say, “I know Mary has not dressed yet, for she is dirty,”
+but only, “I know Mary has not dressed yet, for she has on her common
+cap--her dark gown--or her thick collar,” as the case may be. Many
+servants will wear a cotton dress the first week for afternoon, and the
+second for morning. There is no objection to this, provided that the
+dress is still in good condition at the end of the first week; for it
+is, of course, most important to look well when you are dressed, and
+you thus secure a nice smooth clean dress for afternoons once a-week.
+Though a light _cotton_ dress looks well for morning, it is not wise
+to choose a dress _that will not wash_, of a light colour, for morning
+work. Should you have one of such a description, a little too old for
+afternoon wear, it will be better to make it into a petticoat, or give
+it to a younger sister, rather than spoil it, and your own appearance,
+by doing dirty work in it.
+
+Do not ever choose gay patterns or colours. Not only are such dresses
+unfit for morning work, after they are a little worn, but they never
+can look becoming for servants. If you wish to be particularly well
+dressed, choose neat plain dresses of good material, and let your love
+of good dressing display itself more particularly in the smoothness of
+your hair, the cleanness of your hands and nails, the whiteness of your
+caps, collars, and under-sleeves, and the freshness of your cap and
+neck-ribbons.
+
+A gaudily-dressed servant looks, at best, like a coarse and vulgar
+lady; for with all the fine ribbons and gay colours that London can
+produce, a girl cannot whiten or soften the skin of her hands, or
+make her movements as graceful as those of a finished lady. Her fine
+and unsuitable dress only causes people to notice these deficiencies,
+because it is unusual to see fine dress, and coarse hands; flounces
+and bows, with an awkward walk. But a neatly dressed girl, with
+clear-starched sleeves and glossy hair, though a hundred times more
+attractive than the gaudy one, does not draw attention to the natural
+distinctions between a hard-working woman and a lady, because there is
+nothing in her appearance to make us forget her station, and expect
+the qualities that do not belong to it. A servant girl need never be
+ashamed of her good useful hands, made red by honest labour, unless
+she has so clothed her arms, that they seem to deny her position, and
+contradict the notion of her having hard work to do.
+
+Many girls wear a crimped frill round the throat, instead of a collar:
+this is very pretty and neat. French merino, though dear at first,
+wears well, will bear washing, and looks good to the end. All cheap
+dresses are dear in the end; even cheap cottons, which wash out, and
+soon look shabby. In shoes, this is more particularly the case. A pair
+of boots at ten or twelve shillings will last more than double as long
+as a pair of half the price, besides looking better and feeling more
+comfortable all the time. A good woollen shawl at fifteen shillings
+will outlast half-a-dozen cotton and wool mixed, at five or six
+shillings. A good straw bonnet at three or four shillings will wear
+double the time of one at eighteen-pence or two shillings; and after
+that will turn, and be as good as new again.
+
+A neat dresser will always have good underclothes. Here remember that
+by giving two-pence more a yard for calico, you get a cloth that will
+last much longer, and so save making each article twice. Unbleached
+cotton stockings at about a shilling or fourteen pence a pair are the
+most economical.
+
+A girl on first entering service will not be able to give the prices I
+have been mentioning; but, as soon as she can afford it, she will find
+it the best economy.
+
+On going for a holiday, to visit your friends, you are at liberty to
+dress with less strictness than for your mistress’ house. You need wear
+no cap; and should you choose to put on unsuitable and gaudy ornaments,
+it will be no offence to your mistress, as when you are out of her
+house, and among your own friends, you are free to do as you please;
+but you will make a great mistake if you think to gain admiration,
+even among your own class, by unbecoming dress. Even here, a really
+good dress, with spotless collar and sleeves, shining hair, and clean
+hands, will be your best adornment. A wise young man, in choosing a
+wife, will like better to see her adopt a style of dress which she is
+likely to keep up after marriage, than one which, were she to wish to
+retain it, would be as ridiculous for her position as unsuitable to
+his means. Gaudy dressers, before marriage, on being obliged to change
+their style of dress, invariably turn into slovens; and the young man,
+who admired and married the smart girl, grows careless and indifferent
+when he finds a slattern in her place; while the neat dresser finds
+no reason for throwing off the habits which gained her lover, and so
+continues after marriage to please him with the same bright and comely
+appearance that first won his regard.
+
+It is difficult to take leave of you, my dear girls, without saying a
+word on those subjects, so much more important than either manners or
+dress, Honesty, Truthfulness, Industry, Steadiness, &c. But my object
+was not to speak of these; and I should only do dishonour to such
+subjects, were I to crowd in a few remarks on them, at the end of six
+chapters given to matter so far less important. I will therefore leave
+them altogether, only reminding you, that all the polish of manner
+and neatness of dress that my book, or any other teaching, can give
+you, are as nothing, compared to the more stirling qualities I have
+just named. A dishonest or idle servant can scarcely be said even to
+be bettered by good manners and appearance. No addition to absolute
+evil can make it good, or even better; but rather worse, because it
+deceives. Yet, should you possess these excellent qualities, Honesty,
+Truthfulness, Steadiness, Industry, which are of a thousand times
+the value of those I have been trying to teach you, the addition of
+the graces of manner and appearance will almost double your value as
+servants.
+
+
+THE END.
+
+
+R. CLAY, PRINTER, BREAD STREET HILL.
+
+
+
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+Transcriber’s Note
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+Italicized text is surrounded by underscores: _italics_.
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+
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78121 ***
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+
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+
+.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps; font-size: large;}
+
+.smcap2    {font-variant: small-caps;}
+
+.allsmcap {font-style: normal; font-variant: small-caps; text-transform: lowercase;}
+
+/* Transcriber's notes */
+.transnote {background-color: #E6E6FA;
+    color: black;
+    font-size:small;
+    padding:0.5em;
+    margin-bottom:5em;
+    font-family:sans-serif, serif;
+}
+
+    </style>
+</head>
+<body>
+<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78121 ***</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_i">[Pg i]</span></p>
+
+<h1>
+<span class="small">THE</span><br>
+<span class="x-large">SERVANT’S BEHAVIOUR BOOK.</span>
+</h1>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_ii"></a><a id="Page_iii"></a>[Pg iii]</span></p>
+
+
+<p class="center large">THE</p>
+
+<p class="center xx-large">SERVANT’S BEHAVIOUR BOOK;</p>
+
+<p class="center medium">OR,</p>
+
+<p class="center x-large bold">Hints on Manners and Dress</p>
+
+<p class="center large p2">FOR MAID SERVANTS IN SMALL HOUSEHOLDS.</p>
+
+<p class="center x-large p4">BY MRS. MOTHERLY.</p>
+
+<p class="center large p4">LONDON:<br>
+BELL AND DALDY, 186, FLEET STREET.<br>
+1859.</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_iv">[Pg iv]</span></p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p class="center small">LONDON:<br>
+R. CLAY, PRINTER, BREAD STREET HILL.</p>
+
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_v">[Pg v]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="TO_MY_READERS">
+    TO MY READERS.
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+
+<p class="smallindent"><span class="smcap2">My dear Girls</span>,</p>
+
+<p class="bigindent"><span class="smcap2">Every</span> rule in this book is necessary
+to a girl entering a gentleman’s family. Some
+of the things I shall tell you will be known to
+many of you, and some will seem new and
+strange; but all are equally important, if you
+wish to be well-behaved and agreeable servants.
+If you neglect to observe the rules I shall teach
+you, you will always be awkward, and fit only
+for common places and low wages; but if you
+learn and practise them, you will be able to rise
+higher as your domestic knowledge and abilities
+improve. Many a thoroughly good servant is
+kept all her life in inferior places, solely by the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_vi">[Pg vi]</span>want of good manners; and many a servant of
+small abilities is advanced to a better position
+merely on account of her good breeding.</p>
+
+<p>Do not think because some of these directions
+seem strange to you, that you will be noticed
+and looked at for observing them. All good
+servants do the things which I advise you to do,
+and all ladies are accustomed to see them done.
+You are much more likely to be watched and
+wondered at for neglecting these rules, than for
+obeying them.</p>
+
+<p>I dare say some of them will seem so simple,
+that you will laugh, and say, “The lady need
+not to have told us that.” Now, believe me,
+when you have been in place a few years,
+they will all seem so. They all seem so now
+to me; so do not suffer yourselves to fancy
+I am telling you to do anything uncommon, or
+likely to call attention to you. I have taught a
+great many young girls to be good servants, and
+they have often said to me, “Oh, ma’am, I shall
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_vii">[Pg vii]</span>be ashamed to do this; every one will look at
+me!” After a little while the thing has become
+quite natural, and they have laughed at themselves
+for ever thinking it strange. One girl
+thought it seemed ill-tempered not to talk every
+time she came into the drawing-room with a
+coal-scuttle or a letter, and could scarcely be
+taught to come in quietly. Another thought it
+looked foolish to bring in money or letters on a
+tray, because conveying them in the hand was
+so much more simple. Another thought it
+sounded foolish to say “Sir” or “Ma’am” every
+time she spoke to a gentleman or lady. Now,
+I cannot tell which of my rules may be new to
+you; but I can only say that none are so to
+experienced servants, or to ladies. I know that
+none, however, are too simple to be useful to
+some of you, as I have learned which will be
+useful by finding out which I have had to teach
+to young girls in my own service.</p>
+
+<p>Study them all well, then. When you find
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_viii">[Pg viii]</span>one that you already know, be thankful to your
+parents or other guardians who have taught you
+what others have had to learn from a mistress.
+When you find a direction that is new to you,
+be careful to put it into practice directly, before
+your employers shall have discovered your ignorance
+of it; and remember that every fresh rule
+you learn and observe, makes you a better
+servant.</p>
+
+<p class="right p2">
+  <span style="margin-right: 4.5em;">Believe me, my dear girls, to be,</span><br>
+<br>
+  <span style="margin-right: 7.5em;">Your sincere friend,</span><br>
+<br>
+  <span style="margin-right: 2.5em;">MARY MOTHERLY.</span>
+</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_ix">[Pg ix]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CONTENTS">
+    CONTENTS.
+  </h2>
+
+<hr class="r5">
+
+<table class="toc">
+
+<tr>
+  <th></th><th class="thr">PAGE</th>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td class="toc_chap" colspan="2"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER I.</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td class="tdl small">OF THE VOICE AND SPEAKING</td>
+  <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_11">11</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td class="toc_chap" colspan="2"><a href="#CHAPTER_II">CHAPTER II.</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td class="tdl small">TITLES OF RESPECT</td>
+  <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_32">32</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td class="toc_chap" colspan="2"><a href="#CHAPTER_III">CHAPTER III.</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td class="tdl small">STANDING AND MOVING</td>
+  <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_40">40</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td class="toc_chap" colspan="2"><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">CHAPTER IV.</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td class="tdl small">WAITING AT TABLE</td>
+  <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_52">52</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td class="toc_chap" colspan="2"><a href="#CHAPTER_V">CHAPTER V.</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td class="tdl small">MISCELLANEOUS DIRECTIONS</td>
+  <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_70">70</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td class="toc_chap" colspan="2"><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">CHAPTER VI.</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td class="tdl small">DRESS</td>
+  <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_82">82</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+</table>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_x"></a><a id="Page_11"></a>[Pg 11]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="THE">
+    THE
+    <br>
+    SERVANT’S BEHAVIOUR BOOK.
+  </h2>
+
+<hr class="r5">
+
+  <h3 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_I">
+    CHAPTER I.
+    <br>
+    <i>OF THE VOICE AND SPEAKING.</i>
+  </h3>
+
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Never let your voice be heard by the
+ladies and gentlemen of the house except
+when necessary, and then as little as
+possible.</span></p>
+
+<p>This piece of advice cannot be too well remembered.
+It is needed by almost all young girls
+on their first entering service, and great is the
+annoyance thus caused to their employers.
+Every girl who wishes to live in a gentleman’s
+family must learn, sooner or later, to keep guard
+over her tongue, and it is best to begin at once,
+before her neglect has called upon her the reproofs
+of the family.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span></p>
+
+<p>In order that you, my readers, may the better
+understand how to follow out this rule, I will
+give you a few more particular directions about
+your voice and speaking, which will help you in
+those cases where you will, without caution, be
+most likely to forget yourself. In reading these
+directions you must remember that they should
+guide your conduct towards any grown-up lady
+or gentleman who may be in the house, although
+for the sake of shortness, I shall generally name
+only your mistress.</p>
+
+
+<p class="p2"><span class="smcap">Never begin to talk to your mistress,
+unless it be to deliver a message, or ask
+a necessary question. Even then, do it
+as shortly as possible.</span></p>
+
+<p>Many young girls who are fond of talking
+will make a common message an excuse for a
+long conversation. I had a nursemaid once who
+did this, and if I tell you how she did it, you
+will perhaps see how tiresome it must have
+been, and take care not to fall into the same
+error.</p>
+
+<p>As I was leaving the nursery one day, Mary
+made the following speech:—</p>
+
+<p>“If you please, ma’am, as we were turning
+the corner to-day, round by the Red Lion,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span>Master Willy said to me, ‘Look, Mary, Fanny
+has a hole in her boot.’ I thought it very odd,
+but when I looked, ma’am, Miss Fanny was
+running, and she threw up her feet behind, so
+I saw a little hole quite plain, ma’am, and it had
+let a little stone in, and don’t you think, ma’am,
+I might take it over to Mr. Green’s to be mended
+when we go out to-morrow morning?”</p>
+
+<p>Perhaps you see no harm in this; but you
+will understand how wearisome it was to me to
+stand listening to this long story, when I remind
+you that Mary might have said all that was
+necessary in these few words: “Miss Fanny’s
+boots want mending, ma’am; shall I take them
+to Mr. Green’s to-morrow?”</p>
+
+<p>I will give you one more example, then I am
+sure you will understand how to avoid this fault
+of Mary’s and of so many young girls. I once
+asked Mary how her sick father was; she
+answered,</p>
+
+<p>“I got a letter from mother to-day, ma’am,
+and she says, it is hard to write while she has
+so much waiting to do; but father slept a little,
+and she took the pen just to tell me his eyes
+looked a little brighter, and he had taken a little
+of his favourite dish,—that’s stewed beef, ma’am,—and
+so she thought at the time that he must
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span>be better; and before she sealed the letter, Mr.
+Turner,—that’s the doctor, ma’am, that comes
+from the club that father pays weekly—he came
+in, and said father was much better, thank you,
+ma’am.”</p>
+
+<p>It was very natural for Mary to like to talk of
+her sick father; yet when she had been with me
+a few months longer she would not have occupied
+me so long, because I asked her a simple
+question. She would have remembered, that
+however interesting it was to her to know that
+her father liked stewed beef, or that Mr. Turner
+was the club doctor, and to dwell on all other
+particulars that concerned her parents whom
+she loved, yet, I was not the person to whom
+she had a right to relate all these things unasked,
+and would have answered simply, “Thank
+you, ma’am, I have heard from my mother to-day,
+and father is much better.”</p>
+
+<p>Never preface any thing you have to say, but
+say it simply. By prefacing, I mean using some
+unnecessary beginning, as “I was going to say,
+ma’am,” “I wanted to ask you, ma’am,” “I have
+been intending several times to tell you, ma’am,”
+and so on. Such beginnings are quite useless,
+and not only consume time, but sound familiar
+and awkward. It is better to ask, say, or tell,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span>at once, as “Shall I go, ma’am?” “If you please,
+ma’am, I want some new dusters,” &amp;c. &amp;c. This
+habit of prefacing grows so much on those who
+fall into it, that it becomes difficult to them to
+say anything simply; it should therefore be
+guarded against at the beginning.</p>
+
+<p>Sometimes a kind mistress will ask questions,
+and encourage a servant to speak of her family,
+and her own affairs. There can then be no harm
+in doing so. But if this should happen to you,
+remember two things: first, be sure you are
+careful to talk only as much as you see is agreeable
+to your mistress, and take the first hint to
+stop—such as your mistress’ changing the subject,
+or sending you to do, or fetch something;
+and secondly, never think, because your mistress
+has chosen to have a little friendly talk with
+you on one occasion,—perhaps while she warmed
+her hands at your fire, or while you helped her
+to undress—that she means to throw aside all
+reserve, and will like you to chat on in the same
+way another time, without encouragement.</p>
+
+<p>Suppose this conversation takes place down
+stairs, and your mistress goes away, and soon
+after rings for tea, do not, when you go up,
+begin the conversation again; but go in just as
+quietly as if she had not been talking to you a
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span>few moments before. By doing this, you will
+show her that she may talk kindly and freely to
+you when she has time and inclination, without
+fear of making your manner the less respectful
+to her at other times.</p>
+
+<p>If you are an only servant, this is the more
+important, as it is very dull for you to have no
+companion, and a kind mistress, feeling this,
+will like often to talk to you when she has time
+to do so; but should she find her kindness
+makes you familiar, she will soon leave off conversing
+with you.</p>
+
+<p>I know many ladies who have repented having
+spoken familiarly to their servants, finding that
+the girls have misunderstood their kindness, and
+sometimes have gone so far as to begin talking
+about their own affairs in the drawing-room.
+One lady who was thus annoyed, told me that
+she always took up a book and appeared to read,
+before she rang the bell, hoping thus to keep
+the girl from stopping to talk when she came
+up. I am sure it would have been kind to tell
+this young creature how improper her conduct
+was; but the lady did not like to do so, and as
+even the book did not restrain her, she was sent
+away. I know she left two good places after this,
+within a few months, and then went into a small
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span>shopkeeper’s family, where she was remaining
+when last I heard of her. It is, perhaps, scarcely
+fair to expect that a lady should take upon herself
+the trouble of teaching good manners to
+every servant who may come into her service;
+but had this girl chanced to meet with a mistress
+who was willing to take the trouble of speaking
+to her several times of this, and other similar
+faults, resulting from the same want of respect
+to those placed over her, she would not have
+had to go back from gentlemen’s families to a
+common place.</p>
+
+<p>I need scarcely tell you never to speak when
+you go in to take up coals, lay a cloth, sweep
+up crumbs, or dust, or to do anything else in a
+room where a lady or gentleman may be sitting,
+either alone or with others.</p>
+
+<p>There is, however, one little distinction to be
+made between your mistress and any other lady.
+There may be many things you need to ask or
+to tell your mistress, and when there is something
+necessary to say, there can be no harm in
+speaking; but it should be done in a respectful
+way; not while you are kneeling to sweep, or
+laying a cloth, but when you have done your
+work in the room, standing by the door, as I
+shall tell you by and by. It is also better to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span>speak on any domestic matter when your
+mistress may chance to be in the kitchen—or
+even in her bedroom, if you can manage it—rather
+than when she is in the drawing-room.
+In the kitchen or bedroom she is more likely to
+have her thoughts disengaged, and at liberty to
+attend to domestic concerns; but many occasions
+will arise when you will need to see your
+mistress without waiting for such an opportunity,
+and you will then be obliged to go in to her,
+and it will not signify much, provided you
+remember to stay as short a time as possible.
+You should, in such a case, go in and shut the
+door, standing by it, and it will be well to begin
+by saying, “I beg your pardon, ma’am, but will
+you be so kind as to tell me—” Do not fancy
+that any lady will think this strange, or stare at
+you for saying it. It is only common civility.
+The girls I have with me now, always beg
+my pardon, or use some such words of apology,
+if they come in and speak to me unasked. I
+did not tell them to do so, but they are well
+behaved, respectful servants, and they feel that
+it is proper to show me this consideration. If
+you feel shy at using these words of apology,
+you may still enter and speak in a gentle and
+respectful manner which shows you are sensible
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span>of intruding, a manner which implies an apology.
+If your mistress should be with company, it is
+still less desirable to interrupt her; yet there are
+cases where even this must be done—but they
+are very seldom. In such a case you should
+merely say at the door, “Can I speak to you,
+ma’am?” and your mistress will come out. No
+questions must be asked before strangers.</p>
+
+<p>Now I think you will understand what I mean
+by saying, <em>Never begin to talk to your mistress,
+unless it be to deliver a message, or ask a necessary
+question.</em></p>
+
+<p>Before I pass on to the third rule about speaking,
+I should like to show you how reasonable
+this second rule is. It may at first appear to you
+that there is no reason why you should keep at
+such a distance from your mistress, or why you
+should not be allowed to speak as freely to her
+as to one of your fellow-servants,—that it would
+be happier for both were you to do so, and that
+only pride and unkindness can be the cause of
+such a distinction as I have been drawing.
+This is not at all the case, as I will show you.
+Do you know that all the rules I have been
+teaching to you are taught to many ladies and
+gentlemen as rich and clever as your own master
+and mistress? Your master, at your age, probably
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span>had some teacher, or some superior in an
+office or counting-house, towards whom he had
+to be just as respectful as you ought now to be
+to him. In all government offices and places
+where gentlemen are employed, there are heads
+and governors, who must not be spoken to by
+those lower in office, except in just such cases
+as you may speak to those placed over you.
+Every one in the land has some such superior
+in station, till you rise to dukes and princes,
+who are compelled to observe with a king or
+queen, exactly such strict rules as I have been
+laying down for you. It would be easy to show
+you, in every case, why these rules are necessary,
+but as only your own case concerns you, I
+will keep to that.</p>
+
+<p>If I were to tell you not to use your mistress’
+bonnet or shawl, or even her umbrella or
+scissors, without her permission, you would
+understand at once the propriety and reasonableness
+of the direction. I think I can show
+you that it is just as proper and reasonable to
+refrain from using her time, without permission.
+Ladies have been educated in a very different
+manner to you. They have read many books,
+have travelled and seen many sights, talked
+with educated people, and know a great number
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span>of things about which you know nothing. It is
+not likely that you can have anything to say
+that will amuse or interest a lady. When she
+talks to you, it is in kindness, and all the pleasure
+of the talk is on your side. She talks down
+to your understanding and knowledge, as you
+do to the understanding and knowledge of a
+young child, who does not know a hundredth
+part of what you know. Were you to listen to
+the conversation of your mistress with her friends,
+it would often be very dull to you, because the
+talk would be of books, people, and events of
+which you have never heard, and would consist
+of many words you would not understand. Just
+as their conversation would be dull to you from
+its cleverness, so is yours dull to your mistress
+from its simplicity. Many things that appear to
+you witty and full of fun, would in no way
+amuse your mistress, but would seem as dull to
+her as a child’s wit to you. When a child throws
+down a doll, and says, “How funny!” you see
+no fun, but laugh to please the child; and so
+the joke that is too clever for the child amuses
+you, but has no fun in it to the lady whose
+understanding is much beyond yours. I had a
+servant once who took every opportunity of
+repeating to me the jokes of the tradesmen and
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span>her friends. Some of them seemed to me only
+coarse, and others stupid; and I never felt the
+least amused by any one of them, but only annoyed
+by the liberty she took in occupying my
+time with such nonsense. Yet perhaps she
+thought to entertain me.</p>
+
+<p>There is sometimes a mistress rich but ill-educated.
+Such a mistress is almost sure to
+make companions of her servants, because her
+knowledge and ideas are nearer on a level with
+theirs. But a sensible girl will with just cause
+respect most, and like best to serve, the lady
+whose superior knowledge puts a natural barrier
+between them. In any case, a servant must
+rank below her mistress. How much more
+pleasant it is to give place to one who is really,
+and at all times, your superior, than to a natural
+equal, raised by the accident of possessing more
+money! It then follows, that the lady who
+always feels and observes a difference between
+herself and her servants, puts more dignity on
+them than the mistress who will allow full
+familiarity, except in the presence of strangers.</p>
+
+<p>But we will suppose for a moment that a
+servant’s conversation could be amusing, and in
+all respects equal to that of her mistress. In
+such a case, were she at liberty to speak freely,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span>her mistress would have no rest. Visitors, however
+pleasant, are very fatiguing for many days
+together; and few ladies will invite persons to
+stay in the house continually, and none at times
+when business, or trouble, or any other cause
+may exist for making quiet desirable. But
+were the barrier of which we have been speaking
+between mistress and servant once removed,
+no lady could ever secure quiet and solitude.
+She might refrain from inviting friends, and
+send her children out, or to the nursery; but
+servants must be in the house, and at liberty to
+go from room to room as their work calls them;
+and if they were to stand chatting at the door
+whenever the bell was rung, or to enter when
+they pleased for a gossip, the poor lady would
+be as ill off as if she were compelled to have
+three or four perpetual visitors;—how much
+worse, too, when we add, that these never-failing
+visitors would be persons whose talk was entirely
+uninteresting to her, and quite below her
+understanding!</p>
+
+<p>We will now pass on to the third rule about
+speaking.</p>
+
+
+<p class="p2"><span class="smcap">Never talk to another servant, or person
+of your own rank, or to a child, in the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span>presence of your mistress, unless from
+necessity; and then do it as shortly as
+possible, and in a low voice.</span></p>
+
+<p>When I say “a low voice,” I do not mean a
+whisper, which would be worse than the loudest
+voice, but an undertone.</p>
+
+<p>Nothing can be more ill-bred, than for two
+servants to laugh and talk in their mistress’
+presence. I should have thought that no girl
+of sense would need to be warned of this error,
+had I not seen very good, and in many respects
+well-behaved girls, fall into it. Rose was with
+me for some time, but I could never completely
+cure her of this failing, and two or three others
+similar to it. The consequence is, that she has
+never risen to a high place. Though as regards
+her work she is a first-rate servant, yet she could
+never stay long in gentlemen’s families, from the
+uncouthness of her manners; while Mary, the
+chatterbox, who cured her faults of manner before
+she left me, though an indifferent servant as regards
+work, being delicate and rather slow, is
+now earning very high wages as parlour-maid,
+in a family where two carriages are kept.</p>
+
+<p>I do not mean that Rose, after being chidden
+once or twice, talked and laughed loud in my
+presence; but merely that she still continued
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span>to speak unnecessarily and freely to her fellow-servants
+while I was in the room. I will show
+you what I mean. I was once ill, and lay on
+the sofa for a few moments while my bed was
+being made by Rose and Mary. I asked Mary,
+“Has Baby had her new food to-day?”</p>
+
+<p><i>Mary.</i>—“Yes, ma’am.”</p>
+
+<p><i>I.</i>—“Did she like it without sugar?”</p>
+
+<p><i>Mary.</i>—“Yes, ma’am; pretty well.”</p>
+
+<p><i>Rose.</i>—“What! did she eat it without sugar?”</p>
+
+<p>Mary feeling the impropriety of talking with
+Rose in my room, and yet not liking to make
+her no answer, nodded her head quietly, and I
+said again, “I should like to kiss her before she
+goes to bed.”</p>
+
+<p><i>Rose to Mary.</i>—“She is gone, isn’t she?”</p>
+
+<p>Mary, not answering Rose, turned to me and
+said, “She is in bed, ma’am.”</p>
+
+<p>This little conversation will show you, by
+Rose’s example, what to avoid, and, by Mary’s
+example, how to behave, if a young girl who
+does not know better speaks to you when a lady
+is present.</p>
+
+<p>The same rule applies to children, and to any
+person of your own station, as a laundress or a
+charwoman, who may chance to speak to you
+freely when ladies are present.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span></p>
+
+<p>I must, however, point out to you that, in
+some cases it is necessary to ask or answer a
+question. Suppose, in making the bed, Rose
+misses a pillow, she will properly say, “Mary,
+have you moved the pillow?” and Mary will, with
+propriety, answer, “No; but I saw nurse with
+it in her hand. I think it must be on the sofa,”
+or whatever else may lead to the finding of the
+pillow; but this will be in a quiet voice, and in
+as few words as possible.</p>
+
+<p>Children are often very troublesome in talking
+to servants when they are laying a cloth,
+sweeping up crumbs, &amp;c. Sometimes, if a child
+says, “Look at this!” or, “Oh, Mary, mamma
+has given me this!” you may nod and smile;
+but if questions are asked you by children, or a
+long story told, the best way is to appear not to
+hear. The child will probably receive a check
+from some one in the room, and will, in any
+case, soon learn that it is of no use to speak to
+you at such times. You may also yourself, when
+alone with the child, ask him not to talk to you
+when ladies and gentlemen are in the room,
+saying that you do not like to disturb them by
+talking yourself.</p>
+
+<p>Suppose a child asks a question to which a
+nod or a smile will be no answer, and persists
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span>in asking it again and again, and is not checked
+by anyone in the room, it is best to go up to it
+and say in a low voice, “I will tell you another
+time,” or anything else that will answer the
+purpose.</p>
+
+<p>A nursemaid, when in the nursery, may be
+much more free in speaking to children with the
+lady present, as it is understood then that her
+business is to attend to them; but her own good
+sense will show her that she should still say
+but little, and defer all stories, songs, and
+noises to the baby, till her mistress is gone; and
+that though she may answer questions, or speak
+to the children, she should do so in a quiet
+voice, and keep as much as she can in the background,
+leaving her mistress to enjoy the company
+of the children undisturbed.</p>
+
+
+<p class="p2"><span class="smcap">Never talk to a fellow-servant, a person
+of your own rank, or a child, in a passage
+or hall, a staircase, or any such place,
+unless strictly necessary, and then in an
+undertone, and as little as possible.</span></p>
+
+<p>If two servants meet, or are at work together,
+on a staircase or landing, or any place from
+which their voices may be heard in adjoining
+rooms—as under windows, in anterooms, &amp;c.,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span>they should never converse. It is excessively
+annoying to those who are in the house to hear
+a hum of voices, and still worse, should the talking
+be nearer, to hear the conversation. When
+it is necessary to speak in such places, it should
+be in a low voice and few words. No rule is
+more often neglected than this by common servants,
+and no rule more strictly observed by
+servants accustomed to good places.</p>
+
+<p>In a small house, where the kitchen is within
+hearing of the sitting rooms, be careful to shut the
+door before you begin to talk; and even then,
+avoid loud talking and laughing, as the murmur
+of it goes through the walls, and is very annoying
+to the family.</p>
+
+<p>In a small house, remember also not to talk
+to friends or tradesmen at the street-doors. On
+opening to a friend who is coming in, say only,
+“How do you do?” or some few words, and
+save all talk till you are in the kitchen, and the
+door is shut. Never go along the hall and stairs
+talking.</p>
+
+<p>I am sure you will see the propriety of this
+rule. Were servants to laugh and talk about
+the house, they would subject the family to
+the very annoyance for which children are
+often punished. In houses that contained
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span>children, all noises would be doubled; and in
+houses without them, the family would thus get
+the noise without the pleasure of them.</p>
+
+
+<p class="p2"><span class="smcap">Never call out from one room to another.</span></p>
+
+<p>It is sometimes very tiresome to be obliged
+to run up two or three flights of stairs to speak
+to or call down a fellow-servant or child; but
+there is no help for it; there must absolutely
+be no calling: the nuisance of it would be intolerable.
+If talking on the stairs is bad, calling
+is a hundred times worse.</p>
+
+
+<p class="p2"><span class="smcap">Always answer when you receive an
+order or reproof.</span></p>
+
+<p>When you are told to do anything, never omit
+to say, “Yes, ma’am,” or “sir,” in a voice that
+may be heard. If you do not answer, it may
+be supposed that you have not heard the order;
+or what is worse, it may be thought you are
+unwilling to obey. It is a common thing for
+ill-behaved and ill-tempered girls to give no
+answer to an order that they dislike; and
+it is natural, therefore, for a lady to attribute
+silence, in answer to a troublesome order, to
+ill-temper.</p>
+
+<p>It is even more important to make answer to
+a reproof, as here you may the more easily be
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span>suspected of ill-temper. A civil answer generally
+puts an end to the anger of the person reproving.
+A girl who replies in an amiable way, “I am
+very sorry, ma’am, and will be more careful next
+time,” or whatever else may be suitable (provided
+that the words are sincere), does her best
+to mend her fault. Supposing that your temper
+is too irritable for you to command yourself
+enough to say so much, you can still say a word
+or two; as, “Yes, ma’am;” “I am very sorry,
+ma’am,”—to show that you have heard and
+understood. Silence at such a time is rude, ill-tempered,
+and likely to provoke more reproof.</p>
+
+<p>There are, of course, many cases in which you
+must speak in the sitting-rooms: let this always
+be in a gentle voice; but when necessary to let
+more than one person hear you, or when speaking
+across the room, do not be afraid to make
+yourself heard. In announcing the name of a
+visitor, which should be heard by all in the
+room, speak loudly and distinctly; but in addressing
+a lady or gentleman at table, “Will you
+take water, sir?” or in saying “Thank you, sir,”
+to a person giving you anything, your voice
+should be low, as only the person by whom you
+stand need hear you. Indeed, your own sense
+will now guide you, and teach you how to carry
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span>out the injunction with which I began this
+chapter, namely,</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">A servant’s voice should never be heard
+by the ladies and gentlemen of the house,
+except when necessary, and then as little
+as possible.</span></p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h3 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_II">
+    CHAPTER II.
+    <br>
+    <i>TITLES OF RESPECT.</i>
+  </h3>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Never speak to a lady or gentleman
+without saying, “sir,” “ma’am,” or “miss,”
+as the case may be.</span></p>
+
+<p>I have had several servants who had not been
+in place before, and in every instance have had
+much trouble in making them observe this rule.
+Every young person will say “Sir” or “Ma’am”
+occasionally; but few do it always, till taught to
+do so in a regular place. Some, on my telling
+them several times of this omission, have said,
+as an excuse, that it seemed awkward to say
+“Ma’am” so often; but this is quite a mistake.
+It sounds very awkward to leave it out; and,
+what is worse, it sounds, and will always be
+thought, very ill-bred and disrespectful.</p>
+
+<p>There is no need to say “Sir” or “Ma’am”
+more than once at each time of speaking, though
+sometimes, in a very long sentence, it may be
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span>repeated. Some servants overdo it; but this is
+a much less serious fault than once leaving it
+out. I will give you a little conversation to
+show you how the “Ma’am” may come in at
+each time of speaking, without the least awkwardness:—</p>
+
+<p><i>Mistress.</i>—“Mary, do you always shake the
+beds, and make them as I told you?”</p>
+
+<p><i>Mary.</i>—“Yes, ma’am, I think so; but I am
+not quite sure that I remember all you said.”</p>
+
+<p><i>Mistress.</i>—“What did I say about uncovering
+the bed?”</p>
+
+<p><i>Mary.</i>—“You told me to pull the things down,
+and open the windows as soon as I could, ma’am,
+and leave the bed to air at least half an hour;
+but an hour or two in general.”</p>
+
+<p><i>Mistress.</i>—“Yes; never less than an hour or
+two, unless there is some great reason for haste.
+What about turning and shaking?”</p>
+
+<p><i>Mary.</i>—“To turn the under-mattress and palliasse
+once a-week, ma’am; and every morning
+to shake all the feathers from each corner of the
+bed, and then turn it half over, and knead and
+pinch about the feathers with both hands; then
+turn it quite over, and shake it at each corner
+again before I pushed the feathers into shape.
+And you said, ma’am, that I should take care to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span>have rather more feathers at the top end than at
+the bottom.”</p>
+
+<p><i>Mistress.</i>—“Very well; and do you remember
+about the blankets?”</p>
+
+<p><i>Mary.</i>—“Yes, ma’am; you said that if there
+was more than one blanket, the top one should
+be put on crosswise, that it may tuck up well;
+and that one should be put low enough to tuck
+well in at the foot.”</p>
+
+<p><i>Mistress.</i>—“Very well remembered. And do
+you attend to all this?”</p>
+
+<p><i>Mary.</i>—“Yes, ma’am, I think so.”</p>
+
+<p>There is nothing awkward or in any way
+remarkable in this. Mary’s answers are only
+what those of any girl would be who had been
+for some time in service.</p>
+
+<p>I had once a girl with me whose name was
+Lucy. She constantly omitted to say “Ma’am,”
+in addressing me; as, “What do you say?”—“Oh,
+no”—“Thank you”—and so on. I told
+her frequently of the omission, but it seemed
+impossible to impress her; and it became so
+disagreeable to me to speak at all with her
+while her questions and answers were so uncourteous,
+that I began to fear, much as I liked
+her in all other respects, that I must send her
+from the house. It at last occurred to me, that
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span>as young girls are often apt to fancy a particular
+direction given to them is unnecessary, and
+prompted only by a whim of their employer,
+perhaps Lucy thought I was asking her to do
+something ridiculously servile, and that would
+not be required of her in another place; so, on
+telling her once more of her fault, I finished by
+saying, “I am quite sure that the next servant
+from a gentleman’s house, or the next decent
+person of lowly station, who may chance to
+come here, will not speak to me once without
+saying ‘Ma’am.’ If any one of the kind should
+be coming, I will stay and talk a little in your
+presence, that you may see.” That very evening
+Lucy’s elder sister came in: as I chanced to
+hear her knock, I went down at once, and stayed
+speaking to her of her former places, her sick
+child, and her absent husband. The good woman,
+of course, never omitted to say “Ma’am,” each
+time she spoke. Lucy and I never mentioned
+the subject again, and Lucy never forgot the
+lesson. I saw then that my suspicion of Lucy’s
+unwillingness was true: when once her judgment
+was convinced, her memory was good
+enough. Now, if you feel doubtful, like Lucy,
+of the necessity of saying “Ma’am” and “Sir”
+so often, listen to the first good servant, or the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span>first tradesman, you hear talking with a lady or
+gentleman, and you will see I am right.</p>
+
+<p>In some houses, the lady will like you to say
+“Sir” or “Miss” to the children; but in others
+this is not done. Most ladies allow the servants
+to call the children “Dear,” or by their names,
+in speaking <em>to</em> them. I think, if you are not
+directed what to do in this respect, you will be
+safe in saying “Sir” or “Miss” to those who are
+old or well-behaved enough to treat you civilly,
+as the grown-up ladies and gentlemen do, and
+“Dear” to those who romp and play with you
+like children.</p>
+
+<p>Whatever you may call the children, in speaking
+<em>to</em> them, always speak <em class="allsmcap">OF</em> them as “Master
+John,” “Miss Julia,” and so on; except to the
+other children, to whom you may say “John,”
+“Julia,” &amp;c. Even should the lady or gentleman
+say to you, “Tell John to come in,” you
+should still answer, “<em>Master</em> John is in, sir.”
+Of course, a mere infant will be called “Baby;”
+but, however young this “Baby” may be when
+another comes to take the name, the elder baby
+must be called “Miss” or “Master,” when spoken
+about.</p>
+
+<p>In some houses, the servants call the lady and
+gentleman of the house “My master” and “My
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span>mistress;” in others, “Mr. Smith” and “Mrs.
+Smith,” or by whatever may be the surname, I
+would advise you in this matter to follow the
+custom of the house you are in. You are most
+likely to be in families where the first mode of
+speaking is adopted; but whichever title you
+may give your master and mistress, in speaking
+<i>of</i> them, be sure you never address them by
+a surname; as, “Thank you, Mr. Smith.” This
+would sound very rude. The simple “Sir” and
+“Ma’am”—of which we have before spoken—is
+always the right word to use in speaking <em class="allsmcap">TO</em>
+a lady or gentleman.</p>
+
+<p>Lucy thought she might speak of all the
+family in the same way as of her master and mistress,
+and would say, “My master’s brother”—“My
+master’s mother”—“Your sister, ma’am;”
+but this was a great mistake. Any one else
+should always be spoken of by name; as, “Mr.
+Frederick,” “Mrs. Grant,” “Miss Grant,” &amp;c.</p>
+
+<p>If you wish to call your mistress, as it may
+sometimes chance, in a hurry,—or on going into
+a dark room, to ask if she is there,—do not call
+her by name, as, “Mrs. Smith!” but speak in
+some way that does not need the use of a name;
+as, “Are you there, ma’am?”—“Can I speak to
+you, ma’am?” Once Lucy (who is still with me,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span>and now so well-mannered a girl, that strangers
+often remark her with praise) wished to stop me
+in haste, as I passed, to prevent my brushing
+some wet paint: she had only time for a word,
+and called out, “Mistress!” I thought this
+sounded more respectful than if she had called
+me by name; but she might have said, “Stop,
+ma’am!”</p>
+
+<p>I need scarcely tell you that you should never
+speak of any lady or gentleman, whether friends
+of your mistress or not, without saying “Mr.”
+or “Mrs.” before the name. It is sometimes a
+habit with tradesmen and others, for quickness,
+to say, “Up at Green’s,” “Over at Turner’s,” &amp;c.,
+in speaking of gentlemen’s houses; but this
+sounds very unbecoming in a servant. If, in
+speaking of your master’s next-door neighbour
+to him, you say, “The blinds are down at Anderson’s,”
+he will naturally suppose that were
+you speaking of his house to Mr. Anderson, you
+would say, “They are not down at Taylor’s”—or
+whatever his name may be; so you are guilty
+of rudeness, in a certain way, to both your master
+and his neighbour. I should not have thought
+any girl in service would need to be warned
+against this mistake, had it not been committed
+by Rose, who always spoke of my neighbours as
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span>“the Browns,” “the Millers,” &amp;c. There is no
+harm in speaking thus of tradesmen; as, “Over
+at Thompson’s,” “Past Eley’s dairy,” &amp;c.; but
+private houses should never be so styled.</p>
+
+<p>The servant who remembers to address thus
+civilly and respectfully those put above her, will
+be almost sure to gain courtesy and respect in
+return. In good houses, where such rules are
+scrupulously observed by the servants, the ladies
+and gentlemen seldom command, but almost
+always <i>ask</i> a servant to do a thing, and thank
+her for anything done. A civil “Shall I do it,
+ma’am?” will gain for answer, “If you please,
+Mary;” while in common houses, where servants
+are allowed to neglect the courtesies of their
+station, they are roughly ordered, and seldom
+addressed by name: the rude “Shall I get it?”
+is answered by “To be sure,” and the service
+done received without a word of recognition.</p>
+
+<p>The higher your place is, the more courtesy
+you will meet with from your employers; but,
+as is only fair, the more courtesy will be required
+also from you. I am, therefore, advising
+you only to do that which will bring its own
+return to you—to give that which will be exactly
+paid back to you.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h3 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_III">
+    CHAPTER III.
+    <br>
+    <i>STANDING AND MOVING.</i>
+  </h3>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Always move gently.</span></p>
+
+<p>You must never run up and down stairs,
+unless, perhaps, you can trip <em>down</em> very lightly;
+but no one can run <em>up</em> lightly enough. However
+lightly you may go down, it should never
+be fast enough to make it difficult to stop, or to
+make it possible for you to knock against anyone
+at a corner. Your step should never be
+heard, either on the stairs or elsewhere. Never
+rush in haste to the letter-box, or go anywhere,
+or for any purpose at more than a gentle pace.
+I do not mean that you may not move quickly,
+but it should always be as <em>gently</em> as a lady
+would move, if she were observed. I say
+“if she were observed,” because a lady has a
+right in her own house, to run up-stairs, or to
+a letter-box, sing across the hall, call to her
+husband up-stairs, and do many other things
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span>that she would not do in the house of another
+lady, or with strangers round her. You should
+remember that, as long as you are in service,
+you are always in the house of another, and
+have strangers round you, and should not
+think, therefore, that because your mistress
+chooses to let her voice or step be heard, you
+are at liberty to do the same: always move as
+gently, then, as the ladies do in the drawing-room.
+Avoid all kind of roughness and noisiness;
+remembering, as I said when speaking against
+loud talking, that by being careless in this
+matter, you make yourself as troublesome as a
+noisy child.</p>
+
+
+<p class="p2"><span class="smcap">Always stand still and keep your hands
+before you, or at your sides, when you are
+speaking or being spoken to.</span></p>
+
+<p>This is always a great trouble with a young
+girl on entering service. When speaking, or
+being spoken to, she does not know what to do
+with her hands, how to stand, or how to look.
+I shall make you laugh if I tell you some of
+the awkward things my girls have done with
+their hands, till I taught them better. I am
+sure, however, that if they were here, they
+would say you were welcome to laugh, and
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span>would join merrily with you, so I will tell you
+a few. Mary used always to put her arms
+akimbo, as she stood still to talk or listen:
+when I told her not to do this, she grew
+more awkward, thinking she was observed, and,
+directly I began to speak to her, would pin her
+cap on. I, out of consideration for her distress,
+did not notice this for some time, hoping she
+would soon leave it off; but finding that the habit
+rather increased than diminished, pity for her
+caps made me speak once more, and I told her
+to keep her hands quietly before her. This
+only made her tie and untie her apron strings,
+till, after being told once or twice more, she at
+last learned to stand still.</p>
+
+<p>Lucy used to fold her hands behind her, or
+stick one in her side and rub her nose with the
+other; but she is a sensible girl, and on being
+once told to keep her hands quietly in front of
+her, learned to do so.</p>
+
+<p>Anna, a very awkward girl, used to scratch
+her head; and it proved how completely these
+things came from mere awkwardness and habit,
+that in every case these girls could stand quietly
+enough when talking to a child or friend: it
+was only in speaking to some one of superior
+station that these signs of uneasiness showed
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</span>themselves, and then they were sure to appear.</p>
+
+<p>I felt very much for these poor girls, because
+when I had once told them not to do these
+things with their hands, they were all the more
+awkward. Had they begun by standing still,
+I should never have thought of observing them;
+but having once called my attention to their
+positions, they knew they were looked at, and
+therefore felt miserable, till they at last learned
+to stand quietly, and so became sensible that
+they no longer attracted attention.</p>
+
+<p>Now you, by profiting from their experience,
+may avoid all their trouble and awkwardness.
+If you begin by standing quietly, and holding
+your hands before you, or at your side, or one
+before you and one at your side, or, when
+answering the bell, one on the door-handle,
+there will be nothing to call attention to your
+position, and you will escape being scrutinized.</p>
+
+<p>It is common to tell servants to meet the eye
+of their mistress, and look in her face while
+speaking to, or being spoken to by, her; but it
+is better not to stare the whole time in a lady’s
+face, but to look down occasionally, and look
+up on answering, or from time to time; indeed,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span>to do what seems natural, which a continual
+stare does not.</p>
+
+<p>On answering the bell, you should generally
+shut the door, and stand close to it while receiving
+your order. If no one notices you,
+stand till your mistress looks round. If she is
+alone, or not talking, you may say, “Did you
+ring, ma’am?” but if she is talking, you must
+wait, be it ever so long, till she has done. It is
+not likely, however, that you will ever have to
+wait more than a minute or two, as some one in
+the room will be sure to see you, if the mistress
+does not, and to call her attention to you.</p>
+
+<p>There are some cases where it is better to
+walk up to your mistress’ side, as when she is
+making tea in a room full of company, or at
+any other time when you feel that she would
+not like to speak across the room, or when you
+have something to say which it is better to say
+in a low voice. Your own sense must guide you
+in this.</p>
+
+<p>Sometimes you may be doing something by
+your mistress’ side, giving her a light, for example,
+to seal a letter, and she may say to you,
+“Wait a few moments, and you shall take this.”
+In such a case you should walk to the door and
+stand there: but this need not be done unless
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</span>you will have to wait some moments, as in
+giving a baby to say “Good night” to its
+parents, or waiting for a letter to be directed and
+sealed. In giving a teapot for tea to be put in,
+or anything else that will only occupy the time
+that you would take in walking to the door and
+back again, it is better to stand by the side of
+the person on whom you are waiting. This
+is another matter in which you must exercise
+your own judgment. Even the size of the room
+makes some difference in the cases where it is
+proper to go to the door.</p>
+
+<p>If, while you are walking to or from the door,
+anyone should speak to you, stand still, wherever
+you may be, turn your face round to the
+speaker, and remain in the same place till the
+speaking is over. I mention this, because I
+have seen Lucy walk backwards to the door by
+degrees, if I chanced to address her as she was
+on her way there. This is not only unnecessary,
+but it has an awkward effect.</p>
+
+<p>If you join with the family in prayer, always
+sit close by the side of the door, or if the
+furniture is so placed as not to allow of this, go
+as near as you can to the door. Where there
+are more servants than one, it is usual for the
+youngest to sit nearest to the door, the next
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span>eldest, or next in position after her, and so on,
+the upper servant sitting furthest from the door:
+sometimes two servants sit one on each side
+of the door.</p>
+
+<p>If a kind master or mistress should say, on a
+cold night, “Come further up, Mary; do not sit
+just in the draught of the door;” still be careful
+not to seem to join the family, but go only a
+little higher. Never draw your chair away
+from the wall.</p>
+
+<p>The same may be said of any occasion upon
+which you may enter a lady’s room; as taking
+a child to see a friend of the family, visiting an
+old mistress, &amp;c. Excepting in the case of
+family prayer, you would, however, of course
+stand up on the entrance of the lady, and sit
+only at her bidding: and even at prayers, you
+should not sit at once, unless the ladies and
+gentlemen are seated when you enter, but stand
+before your chair till all are seated, and then sit
+unbidden.</p>
+
+
+<p class="p2"><span class="smcap">Always stand up when a lady or gentleman
+comes into the room in which you are.</span></p>
+
+<p>This rule has, however, some exceptions. If
+you are at work, and your mistress comes in
+merely to fetch something, without noticing
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</span>you, it is scarcely necessary to rise, though
+were she to have strangers with her it would be
+well to do so, and to remain standing till they
+went out, or bid you be seated.</p>
+
+<p>If your mistress comes in, alone or not, <em>and
+speaks to you</em>, always get up, and stand till she
+has done speaking: you may then sit down, but
+not, remember, till she has done speaking to
+you. I am supposing that, having done speaking,
+she stays in the room to speak to somebody
+else, or to do something after having done
+speaking to you. Should she speak to you
+again, it is civil to rise again on answering;
+but there is no need to do this if she speaks
+again without turning her head to look at you.
+Should your mistress seldom visit your rooms,
+I would advise you to rise each time, on her
+speaking to you, or to stand all the while she
+is in the room; but if you are one of only
+two servants, or an only servant, so that your
+mistress is often in your rooms, she will not
+expect you to do more than rise on her entering,
+and stand till she has done speaking the first
+time, and then sit, without rising again.</p>
+
+<p>If you are kneeling down to clean a stove, or
+sweep, and your mistress comes to speak to you,
+it will generally be enough to leave off working
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</span>and rise half up, on your knees. A mistress
+who is thrown with you often will not expect
+more, as getting up, and leaving off your work,
+would be too great a hindrance: you should,
+however, do this to a visitor in the house, or to
+your mistress entering with strangers.</p>
+
+<p>A nurserymaid, whose mistress is much in
+the nursery with her, will of course rise, and
+give up her chair to her mistress, or place one
+for her; but she may then sit down again
+unbidden, at a respectful distance, not on
+the opposite side of the fire, or at the same
+table. If her mistress enters the nursery, and
+begins at once to play, standing, with the
+children, or goes to a cupboard or the window,
+so not needing a chair, the nurse may sit still:
+but should she be occupying the chief seat in
+the room, which she may always do in her
+mistress’ absence, she must be sure to give it
+up at the slightest sign of the lady’s intending
+to remain and sit down.</p>
+
+<p>It is difficult to give precise rules about this
+matter of rising and standing, as every lady
+may differ slightly in her ideas of what is right.
+These are the rules I like to have observed in
+my house, and I think any servant practising
+them will give satisfaction; as most ladies care
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</span>only to see in their servants the desire to show
+respect, without troubling themselves to notice
+every little particular.</p>
+
+<p>I suppose few girls need to be warned against
+sitting unbidden, in the presence of a lady or
+gentleman, in any room in which they are not
+accustomed to sit. Yet I know some girls do
+need it, for I remember two instances of servants
+who have sat down in my presence unbidden.</p>
+
+<p>Rose came in once, tired from a walk. I was
+sitting under a veranda, and she sank down on
+a chair beside me, as she gave her message.
+Had this happened in her own kitchen it would
+have been improper, but it was even more so in
+a place more distinctly belonging to me.</p>
+
+<p>Again: I was once in the nursery bedroom
+when Anna came in, panting, with a can of
+water. As I spoke to her, she sank down on a
+chair, saying, “Excuse me, ma’am, I am so
+tired.” But I could not excuse either her or
+Rose. Both acted very rudely. It would have
+been but a small effort to stand for a few
+moments, however tired they might be; and
+girls who are not capable of such an effort are
+not fit for service. Supposing a case of real
+exhaustion were to occur, or faintness, that
+allowed time for doing so, a girl should ask
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</span>permission <i>before sitting</i>, and not beg pardon
+after. Sudden illness would, of course, excuse
+sitting suddenly; but I am not now talking of
+that, and without that there is not likely to be
+a case where a girl need ask leave to sit down
+in the presence of her mistress.</p>
+
+<p>Should you ever be required to walk with a
+lady or gentleman, to carry a baby or a parcel,
+always keep a few paces behind.</p>
+
+<p>When you open the street-door, do not stand
+behind it, so that the person at the door has to
+come quite in before seeing you.</p>
+
+<p>In meeting a lady or gentleman on the stairs,
+if you are but a step or two up, go back and
+stand on the landing to give room. If you are
+too far up for this, stand on one side. Always
+remember, in meeting, to retire and make way,
+or to stand aside.</p>
+
+<p>In entering a room to deliver a message, or
+speak to your mistress, observe the same rule as
+in answering the bell. In most cases it will be
+right to shut the door and stand beside it; but
+when other people are present, and the message
+is intended only for the lady, go up to her side
+and speak. Here you must judge for yourself.</p>
+
+<p>There are many other directions that I might
+give you under this head of “Standing and
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</span>Moving;” but I think, if you study and practise
+all that I have given, you will find the others
+come naturally, and you will shortly become a
+pleasing and graceful girl, such as ladies will
+like to see and to have about them in their
+houses.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h3 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_IV">
+    CHAPTER IV.
+    <br>
+    <i>WAITING AT TABLE.</i>
+  </h3>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap2">In</span> giving directions for waiting at table, I
+shall describe the kind of dinner at which you
+are likely to assist. It will be of no use to tell
+you how to wait at a stately dinner, where all
+the dishes are cut up at a side-table, and wine
+is handed round, for at such dinners only men
+wait; nor will I speak of dinners a little less
+formal, but still large and costly, at which two
+or three thorough house and parlour-maids wait;
+for before you are admitted to such service, you
+will be expected to have gone through some
+practice in waiting, and it is for a small
+dinner at which you would acquire such practice
+that I will give my rules,—such a dinner
+as we may suppose to be served in the house
+of a gentleman keeping only two or three
+servants.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</span></p>
+
+<p>In dressing yourself to wait at table, see that
+your hands and nails are scrupulously clean.
+Use a nail-brush, warm water, and plenty of
+soap. If your mistress likes it, and you can
+manage it, wear clean white under-sleeves; for
+your hand and arm will be often put close to
+the guests and their food, and should, therefore,
+look clean and pleasant.</p>
+
+<p>It may be useful to some of you to have a
+few hints about laying the cloth. It is a thing
+I have always had to teach my young servants
+to do, and many of you who can do it for an
+every-day dinner, of two or three persons, may
+still be puzzled by having to place a few extra
+things on the table.</p>
+
+<p>First, see that the cloth is laid even on the
+table, the middle crease being straight down the
+centre; then put to each person a table-napkin
+folded, with a thick piece of bread in it: for this
+purpose a thick round of bread should be cut
+into six pieces. I cannot describe to you how to
+fold the napkin for this; but should you not be
+able to get your mistress or any one else to show
+you, let the napkin lie in a neat small square,
+and place the bread at the left side of each
+person; next, put as many knives and forks as
+will be wanted to each person; and if there is
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</span>to be soup, a table or dessert-spoon, as your
+mistress may provide. If there is to be fish,
+meat, and poultry, each person will want two
+knives and three forks, for no knife is used for
+fish; they must be laid side by side, the knives
+on the right hand of the napkin, and the forks on
+the left; the people sitting at the top and bottom
+of the table must also have a carving-knife and
+fork. Now put a dessert-spoon and fork, across, at
+the top of each napkin, laying the prongs of the
+fork close to the handle of the spoon, and the
+bowl of the spoon by the handle of the fork; they
+are to lie side by side, but the crossway of the
+table. The salt-cellars, previously well filled and
+stamped, should be put at each corner of the
+table, with two table-spoons crossed, and laid
+so that each salt-cellar stands between the two
+bowls of the spoons. Put the cruets in the
+middle of the table, with mats on each of the
+four sides, ready for the meat and vegetables.
+Unless the table is very small, there will be
+room for the lamp between the cruets and meat-mat.
+There should be knife-rests top and bottom,
+on which you should rest the tips of the
+carving-knives and forks. Horseradish, jam, or
+anything else in a small glass dish, can be placed
+at the corners, or along the sides, according to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</span>the size of the table, and shapes of the dishes.
+A tumbler, and one or two wine-glasses, as your
+mistress may direct, should be put at the right
+hand of each person, and water-bottles, with
+tumblers over them, at each corner of the table.</p>
+
+<p>When the dinner is ready to be served up,
+you will put fish at the top of the table and
+soup at the bottom, a pile of soup-plates, with
+a napkin on the top, before the soup, and meat-plates,
+with a napkin on the top, before the fish.
+The fish-slice should be put in front of the dish;
+and if wine is to be on the table, let it be at the
+corners.</p>
+
+<p>Before we proceed to the announcement of
+the dinner, let us talk a little of the arrangement
+of the sideboard.</p>
+
+<p>When you are arranging the dinner-table, put
+a cloth also on the sideboard, and think of all
+you will want for the different courses. Every
+thing that can be kept in the room should be
+placed there in readiness, to prevent the necessity
+of going in and out while you are waiting.</p>
+
+<p>You should have pudding-plates in a pile, two
+to each person, as some may take more than one
+kind of pudding or tart, and these are put on
+the table cold; the meat-plates must be kept
+down-stairs at the fire, as they should be hot.
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</span>Sometimes, where a fire-screen hides the fireplace,
+I have seen meat-plates kept hot in the
+fender of the dining-room; but, as they are not
+put on the table one by one, as the pudding-plates
+are, it is but little trouble to fetch the
+pile up from the kitchen when it is needed. You
+should also have on your sideboard a knife-tray,
+with knives, forks, and spoons of all sizes, as
+you can never tell exactly what number may
+be called for. It is safe to have half-a-dozen
+more of each than you see use for; if they are
+not needed, they are clean to put away, and no
+time has been lost by having them at hand; if
+they are needed, and are not ready, much time
+and credit are lost in running to look them up
+in the middle of dinner. You will probably
+want pounded white sugar for the tarts, and
+there will be beer in a jug or bottles, and a jug
+of cold water in case the water-bottles should
+be emptied.</p>
+
+<p>You should have also a loaf of bread, or a
+bread-basket with some small thick pieces ready
+cut, a corkscrew, cheese-plates in a pile; the
+cheese on a dish covered by a crochet or other
+cheese-mat; perhaps celery in a dish, or mixed
+salad in a salad-bowl; butter and butter-knife;
+all of which should be put close together, because
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</span>belonging to one course. I have not mentioned
+small knives for the cheese, because we may
+suppose they are in the knife-tray, though it will
+save time and noise to have the right number by
+the cheese-plates.</p>
+
+<p>Now comes the dessert course. All the dishes
+nicely arranged, the fruit perhaps decked with
+leaves, and the table-spoons laid on such dishes as
+require spoons for helping; the dessert-plates in
+a pile; two wine-glasses for each person; doyleys
+in a pile; and wine in the decanters. Remember,
+if there are nuts of any kind, to keep up
+one or two of the salt-cellars, and to have nutcrackers
+laid on the dish.</p>
+
+<p>I think you will now have all that can be
+properly put on a sideboard, and you will find the
+convenience very great of having so many things
+within reach, as it is indispensable that you stay
+in the room as much as possible while waiting.
+I may add that any cold tart or pudding, jelly,
+blanc-mange, custards, and the like, can also be
+on the sideboard.</p>
+
+<p>All being ready on the sideboard and table,
+see to the fire and candles (should there be any),
+and then walk across to the drawing-room, where
+the company are, and go in; shut and hold the
+door in your hand, and say in a clear voice,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</span>“Dinner is on the table, ma’am.” Go out again,
+shut the door, and walk to the further side of the
+dining-room door, which you should throw open,
+and stand there till the ladies and gentlemen are
+all gone in, when you should follow, shut the door,
+and walk to your master’s side and stand there
+while grace is said; immediately after which
+remove the covers, first from the soup and fish,
+and then from the potatoes. The covers should be
+put on the dinner-tray, which should be on its own
+stand, as near as convenient to the door. After
+this, take the plates from the carvers and hand
+them round as quickly and quietly as you can.
+You will probably be told for whom each plate
+is intended, or you will have heard who was
+first asked to take soup or fish; but should this
+not be the case, you must take the first plate to
+the first lady, and ask, “Will you take soup,
+ma’am?” If she says “No,” go to the next, and
+so on, taking fish to those who refused soup.
+You cannot do very wrong if you begin with the
+lady whom your master led in to dinner; and,
+after going to all the ladies, begin with the gentleman
+who led your mistress in—leaving your
+mistress to the last of the ladies, and your master
+of the gentlemen. Potato is eaten with fish, and
+if you can get time, between taking each plate
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</span>from the carver, to give the potatoes to the person
+to whom you give the plate, it will be best to do
+so; but this will not do if you are not ready to
+take the next plate. It is very likely that some
+one at the table will offer to help the vegetables,
+seeing you busy with handing the plates; if so,
+as soon as you have set all the plates round,
+relieve this person by taking the potatoes round
+to those who may not yet be served; you may
+then see that each person has melted butter, or
+sauce, and anchovy. In handing potatoes, take
+the vegetable dish to the left side of the person,
+and say, if you are not noticed, “Will you take
+potato, sir?” but always in a low voice. In
+handing anchovy you may take the cruets, or
+the anchovy-bottle only, on a small tray, saying,
+in the same way, “Anchovy, sir,” or whatever
+else it may be, as the people will like to know
+what sauce it is before taking it.</p>
+
+<p>Watch the plates, and as soon as any one lays
+down his fork or spoon, take the plate away,
+saying in a low voice, “Will you take more fish,
+sir?” If no more is taken, put the plate and
+fork which have been used in the dinner-tray or
+basket provided for the purpose, and do the same
+till all the plates are removed. You will then
+take away the soup and fish, and carry all on the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</span>tray out of the room. I am supposing now that
+there is another servant below. She will by this
+time have the meat and fowls ready dished-up.
+You will empty the tray as quickly as possible,
+and bring up the fresh course. Put the poultry
+to your mistress at the top of the table, and the
+meat to your master at the bottom; the vegetables
+on the middle at each side of the cruets;
+plates before both dishes, and then remove all
+covers, hand plates as before, and then see that
+every one has vegetables, always putting the
+vegetable dish back to its place on the table,
+also mustard, and any sauce, jam, &amp;c., that may
+be eaten with each dish. Having seen to all
+this, it will be time to take round the beer,
+should it not have been asked for before. Take
+the jug or bottle in one hand, and a small tray
+in the other, and go all round the table, saying
+to each person who does not see you and at
+once give the tumbler, “Do you take beer, sir?”
+holding the tray at the person’s left side for the
+tumbler. Those who take it will put the tumbler
+on your tray, where you will fill it, and
+hold it to be taken off again. Should any one
+chance to say “Yes,” and yet go on talking
+without giving you his tumbler, you must of
+course take it up and put it down again yourself;
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</span>but this is not likely to happen often, as
+the tray in your hand reminds the visitor that
+he is to put his glass there. In pouring out
+bottled beer, be careful of two things: first,
+having once turned the bottle over to fill one
+glass, to carry it leaning down in the same position
+to the next person, as by turning it upright
+again you spoil the beer; secondly, not to make
+“a head” with bottled beer, but pour it very
+gently close to the side of the glass, or it will
+froth over and fill your tray.</p>
+
+<p>Having taken beer all round, stand again near
+the sideboard, but in such a way that you may
+watch the plates, and supply vegetables, sauce,
+and mustard, &amp;c., to any one who may be without,
+and take away the plates of those who lay
+down their knives and forks. In taking each
+plate, ask, as before, if more will be taken; if
+so, take the plate for more, first removing any
+bones or fat left on the side; but any one taking
+meat after fowl, or fowl after meat, must of course
+have a clean plate, for which purpose you must
+always have hot plates ready. If they can stand
+in the fender, they will be hotter than on the
+sideboard; but should it not be possible to put
+them in the fender, they should be made very
+hot before coming up. When any one has
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</span>finished altogether, put a cold pudding-plate in
+place of the plate you remove, and leave it there
+ready for pudding, so that by the time all have
+done, there will be pudding-plates ready all
+round.</p>
+
+<p>You will now remove the meat, poultry, and
+vegetables, and carry them down with the plates
+which have been used as before, bringing any hot
+pudding or sauce up with you. The pudding
+must now be put to your mistress, and tart to
+your master. You will then hand the plates again.
+Each person will give you an empty plate in exchange
+for the plate of pudding or tart you take,
+and you will carry this to be filled, and again exchange
+it till all are served; you will then take
+round sauce or sugar. Though, in handing things
+<em>that people take from you</em>, you should go on the
+left side, that the visitor may use his right hand,
+yet in putting down a plate, or anything that <i>is
+not taken from you</i> it is more convenient for you
+to go on the right side. This you will soon find
+out by practice.</p>
+
+<p>As the pudding-plates are done with, take
+each one away and put down a cheese-plate,
+with a small knife, in its place. If there should
+be game you will put no plate, as a pile of hot
+plates will come up with the game. I need give
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</span>no directions concerning game, because they are
+served in the same way as meat or poultry, with
+hot plates, potatoes, bread-sauce, gravy, &amp;c., all
+of which you will know how to manage, having
+gone through the meat course. So we will suppose
+there is no game, but cheese after the
+pudding.</p>
+
+<p>When all have finished with the pudding and
+tart, and you have removed the plates and put
+down cheese-plates, you will place the cheese on
+the table to your master, and celery or salad to
+your mistress, putting the butter near the cruets
+in the centre.</p>
+
+<p>Your master will now cut several pieces of
+cheese and put them into his own plate, which
+he will give to you. You must hand this plate
+all round; each person, who wishes it, will take
+a small piece with his knife, (here you should
+go on the left side), and having gone all round,
+you should take the plate back and put it down
+before your master. It will now be right to take
+beer round again; also bread, to those who may
+have none. Bottled beer should have the corks
+drawn in the room, at the sideboard.</p>
+
+<p>In removing the cheese-plates, you must not
+put down dessert-plates, as the whole table will
+now have to be cleared. As soon as all have
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</span>finished cheese, take away cheese-dish and celery-dish,
+cruets, salt-cellars, and everything. This
+should be done by taking round a small tray
+and filling it, and then emptying it into the
+large tray, till the whole table is cleared; and
+should be done as quickly and quietly as possible.
+Some ladies like the table-cloth removed
+for the dessert, but it is usually left on; sometimes
+two clean table-cloths are put on, one over
+the other, so that the top one may be removed,
+and yet a white cloth remain. In any case, the
+crumbs are usually brushed off into a tray, with
+a brush made for the purpose, and the cloth
+made perfectly clean; but in some houses the
+crumbs are left and folded in the cloth, which is
+shaken afterwards down stairs. All pieces of
+bread left should be taken up with a fork, not
+with the hand, and put on the small tray into
+which the crumbs are swept, unless removed by
+a fork, with the glasses, &amp;c. If wine or beer is
+left in a glass, do not hurry it away too quickly,
+but should it not be emptied when you are going
+to sweep the cloth, you must remove it with
+your last tray full.</p>
+
+<p>When the cloth is removed, or ready swept
+for dessert, put the fruit-dishes on the table. It
+will be well to have asked your mistress how
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</span>she will like them placed; but there is not much
+difficulty about it. If only two, they must be
+put top and bottom; if four, the principal ones
+top and bottom, and the others on each side; if
+six, there will be two at each side. A large
+round raised dish, if there be any, should stand
+in the centre. The wine decanters must all
+be placed in the front of your master.</p>
+
+<p>Having placed the dishes, give to each person
+a plate with a doyley in it, and a finger-glass,
+should there be any, or two wine-glasses standing
+on the doyley. Should there be fruit-knives
+and forks, they must also be put round with the
+plates. The table being arranged for dessert,
+you should make up the fire and leave the room,
+your work of waiting is ended. While dinner
+is going on, you should manage to run in once
+to the drawing-room fire, or else ask the other
+servant to do so, for should you forget it till
+dessert is on the table, the probability is that
+it will then be out, and you will not only
+have the trouble of lighting it, but will be
+thought neglectful by the ladies, who generally
+leave the dessert-table very soon, and go to the
+drawing-room.</p>
+
+<p>When there is only one servant kept, and no
+extra help procured for dinner, the servant cannot,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</span>of course, be in the room the whole time of
+dinner; she may, however, lay the cloth and
+arrange the sideboard as directed—her mistress
+probably helping her—and she may, just before
+she dishes up the dinner, put on a white apron,
+wash her hands, and smooth her hair; then
+having put the dinner on the table, announce it,
+walk to the dining-room door, follow the company
+in, remove the covers, hand the plates, pour
+out beer, and go down to prepare the next course.
+In such a case, people help each other to vegetables,
+and when one course is over, the master
+will ring the bell; but if the servant can manage
+to run up (having put the next course ready for
+the tray), and take away the plates, &amp;c. before
+her master rings, it will be much better, and will
+save his rising from the table, which is always
+awkward. Every girl should study the foregoing
+directions for waiting, and, according to her
+quickness and method, she will be able to carry
+them out more or less, when she has the cooking
+also on her hands. When the puddings are once
+up, there is no occasion to leave the room again,
+as all that is wanted for cheese and dessert will
+be ready on the sideboard. In all probability,
+the dinner will be very simple when one servant
+manages all. There will be no game, and perhaps
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</span>no fish or soup; so that the difficulty will
+be much less than in the dinner we have described
+above. A single servant, still more than
+one who has a cook down-stairs to help, will find
+the advantage of having plenty of hot plates,
+knives, forks, spoons, &amp;c., ready for use, as there
+is no hindrance so great as having to search
+for, or clean up these things in the middle of
+waiting.</p>
+
+<p>Let every girl remember that a simple dinner,
+with good waiting, will always appear more
+hospitable, and be more comfortable, than a
+costly one, with bad waiting: every mistress is
+sensible of this, yet few who do not keep a regular
+housemaid, expect to get good waiting. The girl,
+then, who chooses to study and practise these
+directions, will be valued accordingly. It will
+generally be a surprise to the mistress of a young
+and inexperienced servant, to find her able to do
+what is looked upon as the work of a higher
+servant, and yet any girl of common sense will
+find it perfectly practicable to do all that I have
+directed, though it may require the practice of
+three or four dinners to make every thing come
+quite easily.</p>
+
+<p>Before leaving this subject, I must not forget
+to warn you against smiling at droll stories told
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</span>at table, or seeming in any way to notice or
+enter into the conversation. Should it even
+happen that all at table are wishing to know
+something which you could tell them in a word
+or two—as, whether it was the baker or the
+butcher who was run over; whether the clergyman
+had found his stray cow or not;—you must
+still be silent, unless you are appealed to, and
+then answer modestly, in as few words as possible.
+If the question you are able to answer
+should chance to be of consequence,—as whether
+the coach a gentleman wished to return in had
+passed or not, you might go up to your mistress,
+and say, in a low voice, “The coach is not
+gone, ma’am; it does not pass now till nine
+o’clock,”—supposing you were certain of being
+well informed; but even then, speak in a
+voice that only your mistress may hear; for you
+may have misunderstood the conversation, and
+it is possible that the question may be best left
+unanswered.</p>
+
+<p>I advise you to read this chapter through
+several times, as it contains many directions;
+and you will find that even after having studied
+them carefully, the bustle of a dinner-table will
+be very likely to drive many of them from
+your head, till practice has made them familiar
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</span>to you. When you know all these rules, the
+difficulty of waiting at table consists in the
+necessity of being quick, and, at the same time,
+expert and noiseless. It is better to be slow,
+than to spill gravy, overturn glasses, catch your
+foot in chair legs, let things fall, or make noises
+with knocking china and glass; and yet a slow
+waiter is very tiresome. Every time you wait,
+you will do better than the last, and it should
+be your constant aim to become less noisy, and
+more quick.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h3 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_V">
+    CHAPTER V.
+    <br>
+    <i>MISCELLANEOUS DIRECTIONS.</i>
+  </h3>
+</div>
+
+
+<h4>OPENING THE DOOR TO VISITORS.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap2">In</span> opening the door to a double knock, or ring
+of the visitors’ bell, be very careful that you are
+neat. If an only servant, you should ask your
+mistress to let you have a little looking-glass in
+the kitchen, that you may glance at your face
+and hair before going to open the door. It takes
+but a minute to smooth down a few stray hairs,
+or wipe off an accidental smut, and it makes a
+great difference in the notion given to a stranger,
+of the house, to see a servant without these disfigurements.
+It is well to have a white apron
+always at hand, which you may tie on as you
+are going up stairs, so that very little time need
+be occupied in these preparations; but should
+they make such delay as to oblige the visitor to
+knock twice, even that will be better than going
+up untidy. With good habits, a servant will
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</span>always, if not dressed, be clean, after the time
+at which visitors are likely to come; but should
+it happen, through any irregularity, that your
+hands are dirty with black lead, whitening, or
+any conspicuous dirt, you must even stay to
+wash them, before opening to a visitor; it must
+of course be done as quickly as possible, and if
+gloves are worn, as they should be for all dry
+dirty work, this necessity is the less likely to
+arise.</p>
+
+<p>Remember that the door should be opened as
+quickly as possible, and nothing but the necessity
+of making yourself neat should cause you
+to delay.</p>
+
+<p>When you open the door you should not speak,
+for the visitor will do so. Should the person be
+ever so well dressed, and yet ask only for “your
+mistress,” or “the lady of the house,” do not ask
+such a one into a room where there is anything
+valuable. The hall, if there is no common
+room at hand, is the best place for those who do
+not ask for your master or mistress by name.
+Well-dressed impostors are constantly calling at
+houses, with the design of pilfering while left
+alone in the drawing-room; and any friend of
+your mistress is sure to ask for her by name—“Is
+Mrs. So-and-so at home?” To any one
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</span>asking thus, you will say, “Yes, ma’am,” or “Sir,
+will you walk in?” The visitor may perhaps
+say, “No,” and only leave a card or message,
+and go away. In this case, keep the door
+open a little while; it is rude to shut it immediately.</p>
+
+<p>If the visitor comes in, you should then ask,
+“What name shall I say, sir?” or “ma’am?” and
+having carefully listened to the name, walk
+before to the room into which you have been
+directed to show visitors; should the room be
+empty, throw open the door, and let the visitor
+pass you into the room; then shut the door, and
+go up to tell your mistress who is come. If
+there are persons in the room to which you take
+the visitor, you should open the door wide, go
+just inside, and say the visitor’s name, then stand
+on one side, let the visitor pass in, and shut the
+door as before.</p>
+
+<p>Here I must particularly warn you against a
+common fault of inexperienced servants. All
+young girls who announce visitors for the first
+time, are apt to say more than the name. Mary,
+the first time she opened the door to two gentlemen,
+came smiling into the room, as if she had
+a great treat in store for me, and said, in an excited
+voice, “If you please, ma’am, there are two
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</span>friends come to see you!” Other servants have
+said, “If you please, ma’am, Mrs. Thornton wants
+to speak to you” “If you please, ma’am, here
+is Mr. and Miss Smith come.” Nothing of the
+sort is needed. There is one way of announcing
+visitors in every house; it is by simply opening
+the door, standing on one side and saying the
+name or names—no “if you please,” and even
+no “ma’am,” or “sir,” is to be used on this occasion—say
+only “Mrs. Thornton,”—“Mr. and Miss
+Smith,” and then stand back. If the visitor is
+just behind you, stand on one side, <em class="allsmcap">INSIDE</em> the
+drawing-room door; but if there is plenty of
+time, without pushing the visitor, when you have
+said the name, go <em class="allsmcap">OUTSIDE</em> the door and stand
+aside while waiting to shut it.</p>
+
+<p>You will then go again to your work, taking
+care, however, not to soil your hands till the
+visitor is gone. The bell may ring for you to
+take up wine and cake, or for some other purpose;
+but it is sure to ring at last, for you to
+open the door. If, on going up, you find the
+visitor leaving, you will know it was for that
+you were called, and will walk at once to the
+door, hold it open till the visitor passes out,
+and then shut it, as I said before, slowly.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</span></p>
+
+
+<h4>ANNOUNCING EVENING VISITORS.</h4>
+
+<p>When visitors are expected to dinner or tea,
+it will be a little different. On opening the
+door, nothing will be said; for as they were
+invited, the visitors will, of course, know that
+your mistress is at home. Should it be a gentleman,
+you will help him to take off and hang
+up his coat and hat, and then ask his name:
+“What name, sir?” As new names are sometimes
+very difficult to catch, it is a good plan to
+repeat the name, that you may be sure you have
+heard it. I make a practice of telling the servant
+beforehand what names she will have to
+announce; and perhaps your mistress will not
+object to doing this, if you ask her; at any rate,
+to telling any names that may be difficult and
+quite new to you.</p>
+
+<p>When you know the name—we will suppose
+it is “Mr. Elliott”—walk before the gentleman
+to the drawing-room, throw open the door, and
+stand against it, just inside the room, allowing
+the gentleman to pass in, while you say, in a
+clear and rather loud voice, “Mr. Elliott.” You
+need not now say “sir” or “ma’am,” because
+you are not speaking to your master or mistress,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</span>but merely calling the name out for all the room
+to hear.</p>
+
+<p>We will now suppose the visitor to be a lady.
+You will then, on opening the door, ask, “Will
+you walk up stairs, ma’am?” If the lady says
+“No,” you will assist her with her shawl or
+cloak, and announce her exactly as you did the
+gentleman. Should she say, “Yes,” you will
+carry a candle before her to the bedroom, and
+go in with her to offer assistance in any toilet
+arrangements she may have to make. Should
+she decline your help, it is best to leave the
+room, and wait outside, or at the foot of the
+stairs, that you may be ready to take her candle,
+show her into the drawing-room, and announce
+her name, as with the others.</p>
+
+<p>If you are an only servant, and a bell rings
+while you are with or waiting for the lady, you
+must, of course, go down; but you should still
+be on the watch, and take care to be up in time
+to show the lady into the drawing-room.</p>
+
+<p>When a gentleman and lady come together,
+and the lady wishes to arrange her dress,
+you will show the gentleman at once to the
+drawing-room, and then take the lady up stairs.
+Sometimes the gentleman will choose to wait in
+the hall till the lady comes down; you have
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</span>only then to remember not to leave him in the
+dark. Both, in this case, will be announced
+together. There will be no difficulty about
+which name to say first, as you will say them
+in whatever order they are told you; as, “Mr.
+and Mrs. Layton,” or “Mrs. Layton and Mr.
+John Layton.”</p>
+
+
+<h4>MEETING IN THE STREET.</h4>
+
+<p>If you meet any of your master’s family in
+the street, you need do nothing, unless you meet
+their eye; you should then make a slight bow
+or curtsey, and incline your head. Never smile
+and nod, except to a child. Should you meet
+any friend of the family, do nothing, unless
+you are noticed first; then curtsey, &amp;c., as
+before.</p>
+
+<p>Should you meet any of the family in a
+church, or public place of any kind, always
+stand back, and make way for them to pass
+before you.</p>
+
+
+<h4>SINGING.</h4>
+
+<p>Nursemaids are often encouraged to sing in
+the nursery; but they should leave off immediately
+on the entrance of a lady or gentleman,
+and never sing in bedrooms or kitchens, or where
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</span>their voices can be heard by the family. Nor
+should any servant sing at her work, unless in
+some place quite out of the hearing, either of
+the family or neighbours.</p>
+
+
+<h4>THE USE OF THE TRAY.</h4>
+
+<p>Never take a small thing into the room in
+your hand. Letters, money, small parcels, a
+glass, spoon, knife, reel of cotton, folded pocket-handkerchief,
+or any small thing, should be
+handed on a little tray, silver or not, kept for
+the purpose. A large parcel, a book so large as
+to look awkward on the letter-tray, a plate, and
+all larger things, may be given in the hand.
+Things handed on a tray should be left for the
+lady or gentleman to take up, and never lifted
+from the tray by the servant and given in the
+hand. Sometimes, when the lady or gentleman
+does not offer to take it, the servant may take it
+up <em>and put it down on the table beside the person</em>;
+but never give it with the hand, or the tray
+might as well not have been used. Sometimes,
+in fetching a bunch of keys from another part
+of the room, or picking up a small thing dropped,
+a tray may not be at hand, on which to give it;
+in such a case, do not offer to give it into the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</span>lady or gentleman’s hands, but lay it down at
+the side of the person to whom you are giving
+it.</p>
+
+
+<h4>THE USE OF TRAY-CLOTHS.</h4>
+
+<p>Some young servants are puzzled, when taking
+up food on a tray, to know when a tray-cloth
+should be used. I think I can give you a simple
+and sufficient rule. Put a tray-cloth on the tray
+whenever a cloth would be put on the table to
+a larger meal of the same food.</p>
+
+<p>You are to take up a mutton-chop with a
+cloth, because any meal of meat would be laid
+on a tablecloth. For a cup of tea or coffee, with
+or without bread and butter, if before dinner,
+put a cloth, because it may be regarded as a
+kind of breakfast, and a cloth is spread at breakfast;
+for the same after dinner, put no cloth,
+because it may be regarded as tea, and no cloth
+is spread at tea. Broth, gruel, and the like,
+should have a cloth; wine, spirits, beer, &amp;c.,
+unless bread and butter <i>not cut</i> are with them,
+should have no cloth. When you are in doubt,
+put a cloth; for it is far better to put one unnecessarily,
+than to take a tray without one
+when it ought to be there.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</span></p>
+
+
+<h4>TAPPING AT THE DOOR.</h4>
+
+<p>If you think for a few minutes <em class="allsmcap">WHY</em> we ever
+tap at a door before entering, you will be able
+to judge, almost without my telling you, when
+it is proper to do so. We tap to avoid entering
+suddenly upon a person who may be engaged in
+some way that may make our sudden entrance
+awkward.</p>
+
+<p>It seems hardly credible that a young woman
+should be so thoughtless as to enter a bedroom
+in which any one is without tapping; but I have
+frequently known this to be done. Be sure you
+never make this mistake; the result may be as
+awkward to you as to the person inside. Even
+if the bell is rung, and you are thus expected to
+go up, yet you are not expected to enter. In
+answer to a bedroom-bell, you should always
+tap, and wait outside for the order. If you are
+told to take up water or anything else, tap again,
+and say, “The water, sir,” or “ma’am.” You
+will then be told, “Put it down,” or “Bring it
+in,” or perhaps the person inside may come and
+take it from you.</p>
+
+<p>As a sitting-room may be regarded as public,
+there is no need to knock. Most young servants
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</span>begin by knocking at every door; this is very
+tiresome, and quite without use.</p>
+
+<p>Some ladies like the servants to tap at every
+door, if they go in without being called or rung
+for; and where this is the custom of the house,
+you will, of course, do so; but even then it is
+superfluous to knock in answering a bell or call,
+as your entrance is expected.</p>
+
+<p>When you tap, do it with your knuckles; for
+the tap should be loud enough to be heard, without
+sounding rough and boisterous.</p>
+
+<p>There are some cases, as in a long illness,
+where a bedroom becomes almost as public as a
+sitting-room. Here you should use your judgment
+about tapping. When three or four people
+are inside, you may be sure you may enter at
+once; if the invalid is alone, or with one nurse
+or friend, it is safer to tap. You had better tap
+twenty times too often than once too seldom.</p>
+
+
+<h4>THE GARDEN.</h4>
+
+<p>I have seen servants make the mistake of
+going to walk or sit in the garden, as if it were
+a part of the house belonging to them, as the
+kitchen and servants’ bedrooms. I suppose the
+mistake has arisen from the nurse’s being often
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</span>sent out to play with or watch the children
+in the garden. All servants, nurses or not,
+should look upon the garden as belonging
+to the ladies and gentlemen, as much as the
+upper rooms; and should no more think of
+sitting or walking unbidden in the one than in
+the other. When a nurse is sent to be with
+the children in the garden, the cook or housemaid
+should no more think of joining them there,
+than she would if they were in the nursery.
+Nor should any servant run, laugh, call out, or
+make a noise in the garden at any time; though
+when all the family are out, few people would
+object to a servant’s taking a quiet walk up and
+down, as the garden may be regarded in the
+same light as the hall and staircase, which are
+thoroughfares, and less private than rooms.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h3 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_VI">
+    CHAPTER VI.
+    <br>
+    <i>DRESS.</i>
+  </h3>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap2">Few</span> young servants understand the importance
+of dressing well. When I say “well,” I do
+not mean expensively or gaudily, but properly
+and suitably.</p>
+
+<p>Nothing makes so favourable an impression
+on a stranger as a neat, clean appearance; and
+justly so, because we judge that the girl who
+keeps her own hands and clothes clean, will
+keep our food and utensils so also: we judge,
+too, that the girl who has method and neatness
+to get through her work without disordering her
+dress—for it is, of course, a little difficult to do
+so—must have generally good habits, and be
+able to manage in all other respects as well as
+she does in this. Besides, a stranger has no
+opportunity of discovering the good qualities of
+heart and mind which a girl may possess, and
+must therefore be influenced by what can be
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</span>seen in a short time; and only dress and manners
+discover themselves on a first acquaintance.
+In going for a place, therefore, these two
+things are of great importance—dress, perhaps,
+even more than manners. I know, for my own
+part, that were I obliged to choose between an ill-mannered
+but neat and clean girl, and a slovenly,
+dirty girl of graceful manners, I would let the
+graceful sloven go, and choose the neat bungler;
+not only because awkward manners would vex
+me less than dirt and untidiness, but because
+I should feel they were sooner mended than
+habits of disorder and dirt. Ill-manners may
+exist in a nice girl, from mere ignorance, and be
+gladly cast aside on her receiving a little teaching;
+but the habits of a slattern can never exist
+without faults throughout the character, which
+are very difficult, if not impossible, to shake off,
+after womanhood. Let every young girl, then,
+begin early to prize neatness of person, which
+may be attained by even the poorest. The oldest
+dress, neatly patched, and even soiled, if the dirt
+be the unavoidable collection of long wear, and
+not careless grease spots and mud stains, may
+be consistent with a neat appearance. Clean
+skin and smooth hair, a collar nicely pinned,
+and the fastening of the dress perfect, will display
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</span>the neatness of mind, which is all that we
+really care for. The girl who can keep so good
+an appearance with such poor means, will be
+sure to look nice in service, when her wages
+will enable her to get a new dress oftener. The
+poorer you may be, the more difficult you will
+find it to keep neat. This, instead of being a
+drawback, is really a help, inasmuch as it gives
+you better practice. Let every young girl begin
+at once; for the earlier she tries to form good
+habits, the easier she will find it. But I am
+now going to speak more particularly to those
+who have passed through their poorer days at
+home, and have now no longer poverty, but only
+work, to contend with.</p>
+
+<p>It is not so difficult for a single servant to
+keep neat as many suppose. Let her do all her
+dirty work early. Clean shoes, grates, knives,
+candlesticks, &amp;c., before or directly after breakfast;
+and, while she is about this, let her wear
+a large coarse apron, and, when sleeves are worn
+tight, holland cuffs, or, when loose, let her turn
+them a little way up. Let her also wear housemaid’s
+gloves for all work that allows of them.
+These can be easily drawn off, and the apron
+untied, should the street or up-stairs bell ring.
+If the hands get blacked, or otherwise soiled,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</span>by any accident, wash them at once. Nothing
+makes so much dirt on the clothes, and about
+the house, as dirty hands. Every time you
+touch your dress or face they leave a mark. The
+doors, walls, shutters, &amp;c., are continually soiled
+by a servant who is not careful of her hands;
+but the girl who is not afraid to spend a little
+money in working-gloves, or to take the trouble
+to wash her hands often, soon saves the money
+in caps, ribbons, and dress, and the trouble in
+washing and scrubbing both clothes and paint,
+besides getting credit and comfort from her
+cleanliness. The dirty work being done, it will
+only require a little care to keep clean and tidy
+during the rest of the day.</p>
+
+<p>It is best to have cotton dresses for morning
+wear, as they will always look clean and fresh
+with washing. A girl, on first going to service,
+will be wise to get two dark cottons for the
+morning, as it is likely that she will not manage
+her dirty work quite so cleanly at first, as she
+will after a little practice. As she improves in
+this respect, she may wear lighter dresses. I
+have had servants who could wear light lilac
+cottons for all their morning work, and yet keep
+them well for a fortnight. It is a great advantage
+when a girl can manage so well as this, as
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</span>the family enjoy food and waiting better from a
+servant whose cleanliness they can see. A dark
+dress hides cleanness as well as dirt. But, should
+you not be able to manage the light morning-dress
+at once, take care always to have a clean
+cap and collar on. Do not let the difference
+between morning and evening dress be a greater
+and less degree of dirt; let it be merely a difference
+of kind. The morning cap clean, but of
+a simple kind, that will wash well; the collar
+plain, the dress of cotton: while the afternoon-dress
+may be of a handsomer sort; perhaps a
+cap that will not wash, or is more carefully
+made up; the dress better; the collar newer, or
+of different material. You must, of course, often
+wear things a little less clean in the morning
+than in the afternoon; but you should not allow
+this to be perceptible. Do not let any one say,
+“I know Mary has not dressed yet, for she is
+dirty,” but only, “I know Mary has not dressed
+yet, for she has on her common cap—her dark
+gown—or her thick collar,” as the case may be.
+Many servants will wear a cotton dress the first
+week for afternoon, and the second for morning.
+There is no objection to this, provided that the
+dress is still in good condition at the end of the
+first week; for it is, of course, most important
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</span>to look well when you are dressed, and you
+thus secure a nice smooth clean dress for afternoons
+once a-week. Though a light <em>cotton</em> dress
+looks well for morning, it is not wise to choose
+a dress <em>that will not wash</em>, of a light colour, for
+morning work. Should you have one of such a
+description, a little too old for afternoon wear, it
+will be better to make it into a petticoat, or
+give it to a younger sister, rather than spoil it,
+and your own appearance, by doing dirty work
+in it.</p>
+
+<p>Do not ever choose gay patterns or colours.
+Not only are such dresses unfit for morning
+work, after they are a little worn, but they
+never can look becoming for servants. If you
+wish to be particularly well dressed, choose neat
+plain dresses of good material, and let your love
+of good dressing display itself more particularly
+in the smoothness of your hair, the cleanness
+of your hands and nails, the whiteness of your
+caps, collars, and under-sleeves, and the freshness
+of your cap and neck-ribbons.</p>
+
+<p>A gaudily-dressed servant looks, at best, like
+a coarse and vulgar lady; for with all the fine
+ribbons and gay colours that London can produce,
+a girl cannot whiten or soften the skin of
+her hands, or make her movements as graceful
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</span>as those of a finished lady. Her fine and unsuitable
+dress only causes people to notice these
+deficiencies, because it is unusual to see fine
+dress, and coarse hands; flounces and bows,
+with an awkward walk. But a neatly dressed
+girl, with clear-starched sleeves and glossy hair,
+though a hundred times more attractive than
+the gaudy one, does not draw attention to the
+natural distinctions between a hard-working
+woman and a lady, because there is nothing in
+her appearance to make us forget her station,
+and expect the qualities that do not belong to it.
+A servant girl need never be ashamed of her
+good useful hands, made red by honest labour,
+unless she has so clothed her arms, that they
+seem to deny her position, and contradict the
+notion of her having hard work to do.</p>
+
+<p>Many girls wear a crimped frill round the
+throat, instead of a collar: this is very pretty
+and neat. French merino, though dear at first,
+wears well, will bear washing, and looks good to
+the end. All cheap dresses are dear in the end;
+even cheap cottons, which wash out, and soon
+look shabby. In shoes, this is more particularly
+the case. A pair of boots at ten or twelve shillings
+will last more than double as long as a
+pair of half the price, besides looking better and
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</span>feeling more comfortable all the time. A good
+woollen shawl at fifteen shillings will outlast
+half-a-dozen cotton and wool mixed, at five or
+six shillings. A good straw bonnet at three or
+four shillings will wear double the time of one
+at eighteen-pence or two shillings; and after
+that will turn, and be as good as new again.</p>
+
+<p>A neat dresser will always have good underclothes.
+Here remember that by giving two-pence
+more a yard for calico, you get a cloth
+that will last much longer, and so save making
+each article twice. Unbleached cotton stockings
+at about a shilling or fourteen pence a pair are
+the most economical.</p>
+
+<p>A girl on first entering service will not be
+able to give the prices I have been mentioning;
+but, as soon as she can afford it, she will find it
+the best economy.</p>
+
+<p>On going for a holiday, to visit your friends,
+you are at liberty to dress with less strictness
+than for your mistress’ house. You need wear
+no cap; and should you choose to put on unsuitable
+and gaudy ornaments, it will be no
+offence to your mistress, as when you are out of
+her house, and among your own friends, you are
+free to do as you please; but you will make a
+great mistake if you think to gain admiration,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</span>even among your own class, by unbecoming
+dress. Even here, a really good dress, with
+spotless collar and sleeves, shining hair, and
+clean hands, will be your best adornment.
+A wise young man, in choosing a wife, will like
+better to see her adopt a style of dress which
+she is likely to keep up after marriage, than one
+which, were she to wish to retain it, would be
+as ridiculous for her position as unsuitable to
+his means. Gaudy dressers, before marriage, on
+being obliged to change their style of dress, invariably
+turn into slovens; and the young man,
+who admired and married the smart girl, grows
+careless and indifferent when he finds a slattern
+in her place; while the neat dresser finds no
+reason for throwing off the habits which gained
+her lover, and so continues after marriage to
+please him with the same bright and comely
+appearance that first won his regard.</p>
+
+<p>It is difficult to take leave of you, my dear
+girls, without saying a word on those subjects,
+so much more important than either manners
+or dress, Honesty, Truthfulness, Industry, Steadiness,
+&amp;c. But my object was not to speak
+of these; and I should only do dishonour to
+such subjects, were I to crowd in a few remarks
+on them, at the end of six chapters given to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</span>matter so far less important. I will therefore
+leave them altogether, only reminding you, that
+all the polish of manner and neatness of dress
+that my book, or any other teaching, can give
+you, are as nothing, compared to the more
+stirling qualities I have just named. A dishonest
+or idle servant can scarcely be said even
+to be bettered by good manners and appearance.
+No addition to absolute evil can make it good,
+or even better; but rather worse, because it
+deceives. Yet, should you possess these excellent
+qualities, Honesty, Truthfulness, Steadiness,
+Industry, which are of a thousand times
+the value of those I have been trying to teach
+you, the addition of the graces of manner and
+appearance will almost double your value as
+servants.</p>
+
+
+<p class="center p6">THE END.</p>
+
+<hr class="p6">
+
+<p class="center small">R. CLAY, PRINTER, BREAD STREET HILL.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</span></p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+
+<div class="chapter">
+<p class="center small">
+  LONDON:<br>
+  R. CLAY, PRINTER, BREAD STREET HILL.
+</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</span></p>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="WORKS_BY_THE_REV_J_ERSKINE_CLARKE">
+    <span class="x-large">WORKS BY THE REV. J. ERSKINE CLARKE,</span>
+    <br>
+    <span class="large">VICAR OF ST. MICHAEL’S, DERBY.</span>
+  </h2>
+
+<hr class="r5">
+
+</div>
+
+
+<p class="ad">PLAIN PAPERS ON THE SOCIAL ECONOMY OF
+THE PEOPLE.</p>
+
+<p class="center">6<i>d.</i> each.</p>
+
+<table>
+  <tr><td class="tdt">No.</td><td class="hanging2">1. RECREATIONS OF THE PEOPLE: REAL AND IMAGINARY.</td></tr>
+  <tr><td></td><td class="hanging2">2. PENNY BANKS.</td></tr>
+  <tr><td></td><td class="hanging2">3. WORKING MEN’S ASSOCIATIONS AND REFRESHMENT ROOMS. (<i>Preparing.</i>)</td></tr>
+</table>
+
+<hr class="r5">
+
+<p class="ad">POETRY BOOK FOR WORKING PEOPLE.</p>
+
+<p class="center">1<i>s.</i> paper; 1<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> cloth limp; 2<i>s.</i> cloth, gilt.</p>
+
+<p class="center">HEART MUSIC, FOR</p>
+
+<blockquote>
+ <blockquote class="no_top">
+  <ul class="ads">
+    <li>THE HEARTH-RING.</li>
+    <li>THE STREET-WALK.</li>
+    <li>THE COUNTRY STROLL.</li>
+    <li>THE WORK-HOURS.</li>
+    <li>THE REST DAY.</li>
+    <li>THE TROUBLE-TIME.</li>
+  </ul>
+ </blockquote>
+</blockquote>
+
+<hr class="r5">
+
+<p class="center">Price 1<i>s.</i> each, paper; 1<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> cloth, gilt.</p>
+
+<p class="ad">CHILDREN AT CHURCH.</p>
+
+<p class="center">Being Six Simple Sermons.</p>
+
+<p class="center small">FIRST SERIES.</p>
+
+<blockquote>
+ <blockquote class="no_top">
+  <ul class="ads">
+    <li>1. TRUE LOVE.</li>
+    <li>2. GODLY FEAR.</li>
+    <li>3. THE LITTLE MAID.</li>
+    <li>4. THE CRIPPLE.</li>
+    <li>5. THE CHILDREN’S REFUGE.</li>
+    <li>6. THE JOY OF THE PURE.</li>
+  </ul>
+ </blockquote>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p class="center small">SECOND SERIES.</p>
+
+<blockquote>
+ <blockquote class="no_top">
+  <ul class="ads">
+    <li>1. HEIRSHIP.</li>
+    <li>2. THE INSTRUCTION OF A FATHER.</li>
+    <li>3. OBEDIENCE.</li>
+    <li>4. STRAIGHT PATHS.</li>
+    <li>5. SERMONS IN FLOWERS.</li>
+    <li>6. LITTLE ONES SERVING GOD.</li>
+  </ul>
+ </blockquote>
+</blockquote>
+
+<hr class="r5">
+
+<p class="center">Price 4<i>d.</i> In large type for Night Schools.</p>
+
+<p class="ad">SHORT LESSONS ON SOME OF THE MANNERS
+AND CUSTOMS OF THE EAST.</p>
+
+<hr class="r5">
+
+<p class="center">Price 1<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> cloth, gilt.</p>
+
+<p class="ad">OUR HAPPY HOME UNION.</p>
+
+<blockquote>
+<p class="hanging1">Being the Numbers for the Year, of a “<span class="smcap2">Children’s Magazine</span>,”
+intended to teach that a home may be happy, though it be
+humble.</p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Continued Monthly, price 1d.</i></p>
+
+
+<p class="center p2">LONDON: BELL AND DALDY, 186, FLEET STREET.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="MRS_ALFRED_GATTYS_POPULAR_WORKS">
+    MRS. ALFRED GATTY’S POPULAR WORKS.
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p>“We should not be doing justice to the highest class of juvenile fiction, were
+we to omit as particularly worthy of attention at this season, the whole series of
+Mrs. Gatty’s admirable books. They are quite <i lang="la">sui generis</i>, and deserve the
+widest possible circulation.”—<i>Literary Churchman.</i></p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>Parables from Nature.</b> First Series. 16mo. with Four Illustrations.
+Sixth Edition. 1<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>“Stand alone in the sweetness of their stories, the truth of their moral, and
+the simple beauty of their language.”—<cite>Literary Churchman.</cite></p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>Parables from Nature.</b> Second Series. 16mo. with Four Illustrations.
+Second Edition. 2<i>s.</i></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>“We know of no rivals to these ‘Parables’ in the English language, and feel
+them to be more genial and less solemn than, though as high in aim as, ‘Adams’s
+Allegories.’”—<cite>Era.</cite></p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>The Two together in One Volume, 3s. 6d.</i></p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>Worlds not Realized.</b> 16mo. with Frontispiece. Second
+Edition. 2<i>s.</i></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>“We believe few youthful readers—we might perhaps omit the epithet
+<i>youthful</i>—will close this interesting little volume without being wiser and
+better for its perusal.”—<cite>Notes and Queries.</cite></p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>Proverbs Illustrated.</b> 16mo. with Four Illustrations. Second
+Edition. 2<i>s.</i></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p class="center">“Earnest and beautiful.”—<i>Monthly Packet.</i></p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>The Fairy Godmothers and other Tales.</b> Second and Cheaper
+Edition. Fcap. 8vo. with Frontispiece. 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>“We recommend our readers to make acquaintance with Mrs. Alfred Gatty’s
+sparkling and wholesome ‘Fairy Godmothers.’”—<cite>Guardian.</cite></p>
+
+<p>⁂ <i>These little works have been found available for Sunday reading in the
+family circle, and to be both instructive and interesting to school children.</i></p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>Legendary Tales.</b> Fcap. 8vo. with Illustrations by “Phiz.” 5<i>s.</i></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p class="center">“Exceedingly well told, and full of talent.”—<cite>Ecclesiastic.</cite></p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>The Poor Incumbent.</b> Fcap. 8vo. sewed, 1<i>s.</i>; cloth, 1<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>“Worked up in a masterly manner, and worthy of perusal from its truthful
+and unexaggerated spirit.”—<cite>Athenæum.</cite></p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>Aunt Judy’s Tales.</b> Fcap. 8vo. with Illustrations by <span class="smcap2">Clara
+S. Lane</span>. 3<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>“Aunt Judy is the essence of the excellencies of all the aunts in Christendom,
+and we only wish that every large family of little people had such a delightful
+relative to amuse, instruct, direct, and govern them. Aunt Judy is a wag, too.”—<cite>Athenæum.</cite></p>
+
+
+<p class="center p2">BELL AND DALDY, 186, FLEET STREET.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="THE_DEVOTIONAL_LIBRARY">
+    THE DEVOTIONAL LIBRARY.
+  </h2>
+
+   <p class="center large">Edited by <span class="smcap2">W. F. Hook</span>, D.D., Dean of Chichester.</p>
+</div>
+
+<blockquote>
+<p>A Series of Works, original or selected from well-known Church of England
+Divines, published at the lowest price, and suitable, from their practical
+character and cheapness, for Parochial distribution.</p>
+</blockquote>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>SHORT MEDITATIONS FOR EVERY DAY IN THE YEAR.</b>
+2 vols. (1260 pages,) 32mo. Cloth, 5<i>s.</i>; calf, gilt edges, 9<i>s.</i></p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>In Separate Parts.</i></p>
+
+ <blockquote class="no_top">
+  <ul class="ads">
+    <li>ADVENT TO LENT, cloth, 1<i>s.</i>; limp calf, gilt edges, 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></li>
+    <li>LENT, cloth, 9<i>d.</i>; calf, 2<i>s.</i> 3<i>d.</i></li>
+    <li>EASTER, cloth, 9<i>d.</i>; calf, 2<i>s.</i> 3<i>d.</i></li>
+    <li>TRINITY, Part I. cloth, 1<i>s.</i>; calf, 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></li>
+    <li>TRINITY, Part II. 1<i>s.</i>; calf, 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></li>
+  </ul>
+ </blockquote>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Large Paper Edition</i>, 4 vols. fcap., large type. 14<i>s.</i></p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+ <p><b>THE CHRISTIAN TAUGHT BY THE CHURCH SERVICES.</b>
+ (490 pages,) royal 32mo. Cloth, 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>; calf, gilt edges, 4<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></p>
+
+ <p class="center"><i>In Separate Parts.</i></p>
+
+ <blockquote class="no_top">
+  <ul class="ads">
+    <li>ADVENT TO TRINITY, cloth, 1<i>s.</i>; limp calf, gilt edges, 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></li>
+    <li>TRINITY, cloth, 8<i>d.</i>; calf, 2<i>s.</i> 2<i>d.</i></li>
+    <li>MINOR FESTIVALS, cloth, 8<i>d.</i>; calf, 2<i>s.</i> 2<i>d.</i></li>
+  </ul>
+ </blockquote>
+
+</blockquote>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Large Paper Edition</i>, fcap. 8vo. large type. 6<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>THE HISTORY OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS
+CHRIST</b>; in Three Parts, with suitable Meditations and Prayers. By
+W. Reading, M.A. 32mo. Cloth, 2<i>s.</i>; calf, 4<i>s.</i></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>HALL’S SACRED APHORISMS.</b> Selected and arranged with the
+Texts to which they refer, by the Rev. R. B. Exton, M.A. 32mo. cloth, 9<i>d.</i>;
+limp calf, gilt edges, 2<i>s.</i> 3<i>d.</i></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>DEVOTIONS FOR DOMESTIC USE.</b> 32mo. cloth, 2<i>s.</i>; calf, 4<i>s.</i>
+Containing:—</p>
+
+  <blockquote class="no_top">
+    <ul class="ads">
+      <li>The Common Prayer-Book the best Companion in the Family as well as
+      in the Temple. Stitched, 3<i>d.</i></li>
+
+      <li>Litanies for Domestic Use, 2<i>d.</i></li>
+
+      <li>Family Prayers; or, Morning and Evening Services for every Day in
+      the Week. By the Right Rev. the Bishop of Salisbury; cloth, 6<i>d.</i>;
+      calf, 2<i>s.</i></li>
+
+      <li>Bishop Hall’s Sacred Aphorisms. Selected and arranged with the Texts
+      to which they refer. By the Rev. R. B. Exton, M.A.; cloth, 9<i>d.</i></li>
+    </ul>
+  </blockquote>
+
+</blockquote>
+
+<p class="center"><i>These are arranged together as being suitable for Domestic Use; but they may be
+had separately at the prices affixed.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</span></p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>AIDS TO A HOLY LIFE.</b> First Series. 32mo. Cloth, 1<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>;
+calf, 3<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> Containing:—</p>
+
+<blockquote class="no_top">
+<ul class="ads">
+<li>Prayers for the Young. By Dr. Hook, ½<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>Pastoral Address to a Young Communicant. By Dr. Hook, ½<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>Helps to Self-Examination. By Dr. Hook, ½<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>Directions for Spending One Day Well. By Archbishop Synge, ½<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>Rules for the Conduct of Human Life. By Archbishop Synge, 1<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>The Sum of Christianity, wherein a short and plain Account is given of
+the Christian Faith, Christian’s Duty, Christian Prayer, Christian
+Sacrament. By C. Ellis, 1<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>Ejaculatory Prayer; or, the Duty of Offering up Short Prayers to God
+on all Occasions, with hearty Devotion and warmth of Spirit. By R.
+Cook, 2<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>Prayers for a Week. From J. Sorocold, 2<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>Companion to the Altar; being Prayers, Thanksgivings, and Meditations.
+Edited by Dr. Hook. Cloth, 6<i>d.</i></li>
+</ul>
+</blockquote>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>Any of the above may be had for distribution at the prices affixed; they are
+arranged together as being suitable for Young Persons and for Private Devotion.</p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>AIDS TO A HOLY LIFE. Second Series.</b> 32mo. Cloth, 2<i>s.</i>;
+calf, 4<i>s.</i> Containing:—</p>
+
+<blockquote class="no_top">
+<ul class="ads">
+<li>Holy Thoughts and Prayers, arranged for Daily Use on each Day In the
+Week, 3<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>The Retired Christian exercised on Divine Thoughts and Heavenly
+Meditations. By Bishop Ken. Stitched, 3<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>Penitential Reflections for the Holy Season of Lent, and other Days of
+Fasting and Abstinence during the Year, 6<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>The Crucified Jesus; a Devotional Commentary on the XXII and
+XXIII Chapters of St. Luke. By A. Horneck, D.D. Stitched, 3<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>Short Reflections for every Morning and Evening during the Week. By
+N. Spinckes, 2<i>d.</i></li>
+
+<li>The Sick Man Visited; or, Meditations and Prayers for the Sick Room.
+By N. Spinckes, 3<i>d.</i></li>
+</ul>
+</blockquote>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p class="center">These are arranged together as being suitable for Private Meditation and Prayer:
+they may be had separately at the prices affixed.</p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>DEVOUT MUSINGS ON THE BOOK OF PSALMS.</b> 2 vols.
+32mo. Cloth, 5<i>s.</i>; calf, gilt edges, 9<i>s.</i>; or, in four parts, price 1<i>s.</i> each,
+cloth; limp calf, gilt edges, 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>THE CHURCH SUNDAY SCHOOL HYMN BOOK.</b> Edited by
+the Rev. Dr. Hook. 32mo. cloth, 8<i>d.</i></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p class="center">A <i>Large Paper Edition</i> for Prizes, &amp;c. 1<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></p>
+
+
+<blockquote>
+<p><b>HELPS TO DAILY DEVOTION.</b> 32mo. Cloth, 8<i>d.</i> Containing:—</p>
+
+<blockquote class="no_top">
+
+<ul class="ads">
+<li>The Sum of Christianity, 1<i>d.</i></li>
+<li>Directions for spending One Day Well, ½<i>d.</i></li>
+<li>Helps to Self-Examination, ½<i>d.</i></li>
+<li>Short Reflections for Morning and Evening, 2<i>d.</i></li>
+<li>Prayers for a Week, 2<i>d.</i></li>
+</ul>
+</blockquote>
+
+</blockquote>
+
+
+<p class="center p2">LONDON: BELL AND DALDY, <ins id="tn_96" title="Should be 186 FLEET STREET. See Transcriber's Note.">136</ins>, FLEET STREET.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter transnote">
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="Transcribers_Note">
+    Transcriber’s Note
+  </h2>
+
+<p>Erroneously placed or missing punctuation has been silently corrected.</p>
+
+<p>Inconsistencies in hyphenation have been retained.</p>
+
+<p>The following printer error has been retained:</p>
+
+<ul>
+<li><a href="#tn_96">p. 96</a>: Publisher’s address is given as 136 FLEET STREET instead of 186 FLEET STREET as on other pages.</li>
+</ul>
+</div>
+<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78121 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for eBook #78121
+(https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/78121)