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diff --git a/old/awoni10.txt b/old/awoni10.txt deleted file mode 100644 index b6a9d30..0000000 --- a/old/awoni10.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3630 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg Etext of A Woman of No Importance by Wilde -#7 in our series by Oscar Wilde - - -Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check -the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! - -Please take a look at the important information in this header. -We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an -electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. - - -**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** - -**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** - -*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* - -Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and -further information is included below. 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Archdeacon Daubeny, D.D. -Gerald Arbuthnot -Farquhar, Butler -Francis, Footman -Lady Hunstanton -Lady Caroline Pontefract -Lady Stutfield -Mrs. Allonby -Miss Hester Worsley -Alice, Maid -Mrs. Arbuthnot - - -THE SCENES OF THE PLAY - - -ACT I. The Terrace at Hunstanton Chase. -ACT II. The Drawing-room at Hunstanton Chase. -ACT III. The Hall at Hunstanton Chase. -ACT IV. Sitting-room in Mrs. Arbuthnot's House at Wrockley. - -TIME: The Present. -PLACE: The Shires. - -The action of the play takes place within twenty-four hours. - - -LONDON: HAYMARKET THEATRE - - -Lessee and Manager: Mr. H Beerbohm Tree -April 19th, 1893 - -Lord Illingworth, Mr. Tree -Sir John Pontefract, Mr. E. Holman Clark -Lord Alfred Rufford, Mr. Ernest Lawford -Mr. Kelvil, M.P., Mr. Charles Allan. -The Ven. Archdeacon Daubeny, D.D., Mr. Kemble -Gerald Arbuthnot, Mr. Terry -Farquhar, Butler, Mr. Hay -Francis, Footman, Mr. Montague -Lady Hunstanton, Miss Rose Leclercq -Lady Caroline Pontefract, Miss Le Thiere -Lady Stutfield, Miss Blanche Horlock -Mrs. Allonby, Mrs. Tree -Miss Hester Worsley, Miss Julia Neilson -Alice, Maid, Miss Kelly -Mrs. Arbuthnot, Mrs. Bernard-Beere - - - -FIRST ACT - - - -SCENE - -Lawn in front of the terrace at Hunstanton. - -[SIR JOHN and LADY CAROLINE PONTEFRACT, MISS WORSLEY, on chairs -under large yew tree.] - -LADY CAROLINE. I believe this is the first English country house -you have stayed at, Miss Worsley? - -HESTER. Yes, Lady Caroline. - -LADY CAROLINE. You have no country houses, I am told, in America? - -HESTER. We have not many. - -LADY CAROLINE. Have you any country? What we should call country? - -HESTER. [Smiling.] We have the largest country in the world, Lady -Caroline. They used to tell us at school that some of our states -are as big as France and England put together. - -LADY CAROLINE. Ah! you must find it very draughty, I should fancy. -[To SIR JOHN.] John, you should have your muffler. What is the -use of my always knitting mufflers for you if you won't wear them? - -SIR JOHN. I am quite warm, Caroline, I assure you. - -LADY CAROLINE. I think not, John. Well, you couldn't come to a -more charming place than this, Miss Worsley, though the house is -excessively damp, quite unpardonably damp, and dear Lady Hunstanton -is sometimes a little lax about the people she asks down here. [To -SIR JOHN.] Jane mixes too much. Lord Illingworth, of course, is a -man of high distinction. It is a privilege to meet him. And that -member of Parliament, Mr. Kettle - - -SIR JOHN. Kelvil, my love, Kelvil. - -LADY CAROLINE. He must be quite respectable. One has never heard -his name before in the whole course of one's life, which speaks -volumes for a man, nowadays. But Mrs. Allonby is hardly a very -suitable person. - -HESTER. I dislike Mrs. Allonby. I dislike her more than I can -say. - -LADY CAROLINE. I am not sure, Miss Worsley, that foreigners like -yourself should cultivate likes or dislikes about the people they -are invited to meet. Mrs. Allonby is very well born. She is a -niece of Lord Brancaster's. It is said, of course, that she ran -away twice before she was married. But you know how unfair people -often are. I myself don't believe she ran away more than once. - -HESTER. Mr. Arbuthnot is very charming. - -LADY CAROLINE. Ah, yes! the young man who has a post in a bank. -Lady Hunstanton is most kind in asking him here, and Lord -Illingworth seems to have taken quite a fancy to him. I am not -sure, however, that Jane is right in taking him out of his -position. In my young days, Miss Worsley, one never met any one in -society who worked for their living. It was not considered the -thing. - -HESTER. In America those are the people we respect most. - -LADY CAROLINE. I have no doubt of it. - -HESTER. Mr. Arbuthnot has a beautiful nature! He is so simple, so -sincere. He has one of the most beautiful natures I have ever come -across. It is a privilege to meet HIM. - -LADY CAROLINE. It is not customary in England, Miss Worsley, for a -young lady to speak with such enthusiasm of any person of the -opposite sex. English women conceal their feelings till after they -are married. They show them then. - -HESTER. Do you, in England, allow no friendship to exist between a -young man and a young girl? - -[Enter LADY HUNSTANTON, followed by Footman with shawls and a -cushion.] - -LADY CAROLINE. We think it very inadvisable. Jane, I was just -saying what a pleasant party you have asked us to meet. You have a -wonderful power of selection. It is quite a gift. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Dear Caroline, how kind of you! I think we all -do fit in very nicely together. And I hope our charming American -visitor will carry back pleasant recollections of our English -country life. [To Footman.] The cushion, there, Francis. And my -shawl. The Shetland. Get the Shetland. [Exit Footman for shawl.] - -[Enter GERALD ARBUTHNOT.] - -GERALD. Lady Hunstanton, I have such good news to tell you. Lord -Illingworth has just offered to make me his secretary. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. His secretary? That is good news indeed, Gerald. -It means a very brilliant future in store for you. Your dear -mother will be delighted. I really must try and induce her to come -up here to-night. Do you think she would, Gerald? I know how -difficult it is to get her to go anywhere. - -GERALD. Oh! I am sure she would, Lady Hunstanton, if she knew -Lord Illingworth had made me such an offer. - -[Enter Footman with shawl.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I will write and tell her about it, and ask her -to come up and meet him. [To Footman.] Just wait, Francis. -[Writes letter.] - -LADY CAROLINE. That is a very wonderful opening for so young a man -as you are, Mr. Arbuthnot. - -GERALD. It is indeed, Lady Caroline. I trust I shall be able to -show myself worthy of it. - -LADY CAROLINE. I trust so. - -GERALD. [To HESTER.] YOU have not congratulated me yet, Miss -Worsley. - -HESTER. Are you very pleased about it? - -GERALD. Of course I am. It means everything to me - things that -were out of the reach of hope before may be within hope's reach -now. - -HESTER. Nothing should be out of the reach of hope. Life is a -hope. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I fancy, Caroline, that Diplomacy is what Lord -Illingworth is aiming at. I heard that he was offered Vienna. But -that may not be true. - -LADY CAROLINE. I don't think that England should be represented -abroad by an unmarried man, Jane. It might lead to complications. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You are too nervous, Caroline. Believe me, you -are too nervous. Besides, Lord Illingworth may marry any day. I -was in hopes he would have married lady Kelso. But I believe he -said her family was too large. Or was it her feet? I forget -which. I regret it very much. She was made to be an ambassador's -wife. - -LADY CAROLINE. She certainly has a wonderful faculty of -remembering people's names, and forgetting their faces. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, that is very natural, Caroline, is it not? -[To Footman.] Tell Henry to wait for an answer. I have written a -line to your dear mother, Gerald, to tell her your good news, and -to say she really must come to dinner. - -[Exit Footman.] - -GERALD. That is awfully kind of you, Lady Hunstanton. [To -HESTER.] Will you come for a stroll, Miss Worsley? - -HESTER. With pleasure [Exit with GERALD.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I am very much gratified at Gerald Arbuthnot's -good fortune. He is quite a PROTEGE of mine. And I am -particularly pleased that Lord Illingworth should have made the -offer of his own accord without my suggesting anything. Nobody -likes to be asked favours. I remember poor Charlotte Pagden making -herself quite unpopular one season, because she had a French -governess she wanted to recommend to every one. - -LADY CAROLINE. I saw the governess, Jane. Lady Pagden sent her to -me. It was before Eleanor came out. She was far too good-looking -to be in any respectable household. I don't wonder Lady Pagden was -so anxious to get rid of her. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, that explains it. - -LADY CAROLINE. John, the grass is too damp for you. You had -better go and put on your overshoes at once. - -SIR JOHN. I am quite comfortable, Caroline, I assure you. - -LADY CAROLINE. You must allow me to be the best judge of that, -John. Pray do as I tell you. - -[SIR JOHN gets up and goes off.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You spoil him, Caroline, you do indeed! - -[Enter MRS. ALLONBY and LADY STUTFIELD.] - - [To MRS. ALLONBY.] Well, dear, I hope you like the park. It is -said to be well timbered. - -MRS. ALLONBY. The trees are wonderful, Lady Hunstanton. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Quite, quite wonderful. - -MRS. ALLONBY. But somehow, I feel sure that if I lived in the -country for six months, I should become so unsophisticated that no -one would take the slightest notice of me. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I assure you, dear, that the country has not that -effect at all. Why, it was from Melthorpe, which is only two miles -from here, that Lady Belton eloped with Lord Fethersdale. I -remember the occurrence perfectly. Poor Lord Belton died three -days afterwards of joy, or gout. I forget which. We had a large -party staying here at the time, so we were all very much interested -in the whole affair. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I think to elope is cowardly. It's running away -from danger. And danger has become so rare in modern life. - -LADY CAROLINE. As far as I can make out, the young women of the -present day seem to make it the sole object of their lives to be -always playing with fire. - -MRS. ALLONBY. The one advantage of playing with fire, Lady -Caroline, is that one never gets even singed. It is the people who -don't know how to play with it who get burned up. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes; I see that. It is very, very helpful. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I don't know how the world would get on with such -a theory as that, dear Mrs. Allonby. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Ah! The world was made for men and not for women. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, don't say that, Lady Stutfield. We have a much -better time than they have. There are far more things forbidden to -us than are forbidden to them. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes; that is quite, quite true. I had not thought -of that. - -[Enter SIR JOHN and MR. KELVIL.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, Mr. Kelvil, have you got through your work? - -KELVIL. I have finished my writing for the day, Lady Hunstanton. -It has been an arduous task. The demands on the time of a public -man are very heavy nowadays, very heavy indeed. And I don't think -they meet with adequate recognition. - -LADY CAROLINE. John, have you got your overshoes on? - -SIR JOHN. Yes, my love. - -LADY CAROLINE. I think you had better come over here, John. It is -more sheltered. - -SIR JOHN. I am quite comfortable, Caroline. - -LADY CAROLINE. I think not, John. You had better sit beside me. -[SIR JOHN rises and goes across.] - -LADY STUTFIELD. And what have you been writing about this morning, -Mr. Kelvil? - -KELVIL. On the usual subject, Lady Stutfield. On Purity. - -LADY STUTFIELD. That must be such a very, very interesting thing -to write about. - -KELVIL. It is the one subject of really national importance, -nowadays, Lady Stutfield. I purpose addressing my constituents on -the question before Parliament meets. I find that the poorer -classes of this country display a marked desire for a higher -ethical standard. - -LADY STUTFIELD. How quite, quite nice of them. - -LADY CAROLINE. Are you in favour of women taking part in politics, -Mr. Kettle? - -SIR JOHN. Kelvil, my love, Kelvil. - -KELVIL. The growing influence of women is the one reassuring thing -in our political life, Lady Caroline. Women are always on the side -of morality, public and private. - -LADY STUTFIELD. It is so very, very gratifying to hear you say -that. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, yes! - the moral qualities in women - that is -the important thing. I am afraid, Caroline, that dear Lord -Illingworth doesn't value the moral qualities in women as much as -he should. - -[Enter LORD ILLINGWORTH.] - -LADY STUTFIELD. The world says that Lord Illingworth is very, very -wicked. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. But what world says that, Lady Stutfield? It -must be the next world. This world and I are on excellent terms. -[Sits down beside MRS. ALLONBY.] - -LADY STUTFIELD. Every one I know says you are very, very wicked. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is perfectly monstrous the way people go -about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one's back that -are absolutely and entirely true. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Dear Lord Illingworth is quite hopeless, Lady -Stutfield. I have given up trying to reform him. It would take a -Public Company with a Board of Directors and a paid Secretary to do -that. But you have the secretary already, Lord Illingworth, -haven't you? Gerald Arbuthnot has told us of his good fortune; it -is really most kind of you. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Oh, don't say that, Lady Hunstanton. Kind is a -dreadful word. I took a great fancy to young Arbuthnot the moment -I met him, and he'll be of considerable use to me in something I am -foolish enough to think of doing. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. He is an admirable young man. And his mother is -one of my dearest friends. He has just gone for a walk with our -pretty American. She is very pretty, is she not? - -LADY CAROLINE. Far too pretty. These American girls carry off all -the good matches. Why can't they stay in their own country? They -are always telling us it is the Paradise of women. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is, Lady Caroline. That is why, like Eve, -they are so extremely anxious to get out of it. - -LADY CAROLINE. Who are Miss Worsley's parents? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. American women are wonderfully clever in -concealing their parents. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear Lord Illingworth, what do you mean? Miss -Worsley, Caroline, is an orphan. Her father was a very wealthy -millionaire or philanthropist, or both, I believe, who entertained -my son quite hospitably, when he visited Boston. I don't know how -he made his money, originally. - -KELVIL. I fancy in American dry goods. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. What are American dry goods? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. American novels. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. How very singular! . . . Well, from whatever -source her large fortune came, I have a great esteem for Miss -Worsley. She dresses exceedingly well. All Americans do dress -well. They get their clothes in Paris. - -MRS. ALLONBY. They say, Lady Hunstanton, that when good Americans -die they go to Paris. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Indeed? And when bad Americans die, where do -they go to? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Oh, they go to America. - -KELVIL. I am afraid you don't appreciate America, Lord -Illingworth. It is a very remarkable country, especially -considering its youth. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. The youth of America is their oldest tradition. -It has been going on now for three hundred years. To hear them -talk one would imagine they were in their first childhood. As far -as civilisation goes they are in their second. - -KELVIL. There is undoubtedly a great deal of corruption in -American politics. I suppose you allude to that? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I wonder. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Politics are in a sad way everywhere, I am told. -They certainly are in England. Dear Mr. Cardew is ruining the -country. I wonder Mrs. Cardew allows him. I am sure, Lord -Illingworth, you don't think that uneducated people should be -allowed to have votes? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I think they are the only people who should. - -KELVIL. Do you take no side then in modern politics, Lord -Illingworth? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should never take sides in anything, Mr. -Kelvil. Taking sides is the beginning of sincerity, and -earnestness follows shortly afterwards, and the human being becomes -a bore. However, the House of Commons really does very little -harm. You can't make people good by Act of Parliament, - that is -something. - -KELVIL. You cannot deny that the House of Commons has always shown -great sympathy with the sufferings of the poor. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. That is its special vice. That is the special -vice of the age. One should sympathise with the joy, the beauty, -the colour of life. The less said about life's sores the better, -Mr. Kelvil. - -KELVIL. Still our East End is a very important problem. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Quite so. It is the problem of slavery. And we -are trying to solve it by amusing the slaves. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Certainly, a great deal may be done by means of -cheap entertainments, as you say, Lord Illingworth. Dear Dr. -Daubeny, our rector here, provides, with the assistance of his -curates, really admirable recreations for the poor during the -winter. And much good may be done by means of a magic lantern, or -a missionary, or some popular amusement of that kind. - -LADY CAROLINE. I am not at all in favour of amusements for the -poor, Jane. Blankets and coals are sufficient. There is too much -love of pleasure amongst the upper classes as it is. Health is -what we want in modern life. The tone is not healthy, not healthy -at all. - -KELVIL. You are quite right, Lady Caroline. - -LADY CAROLINE. I believe I am usually right. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Horrid word 'health.' - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Silliest word in our language, and one knows so -well the popular idea of health. The English country gentleman -galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the -uneatable. - -KELVIL. May I ask, Lord Illingworth, if you regard the House of -Lords as a better institution than the House of Commons? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. A much better institution, of course. We in the -House of Lords are never in touch with public opinion. That makes -us a civilised body. - -KELVIL. Are you serious in putting forward such a view? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Quite serious, Mr. Kelvil. [To MRS. ALLONBY.] -Vulgar habit that is people have nowadays of asking one, after one -has given them an idea, whether one is serious or not. Nothing is -serious except passion. The intellect is not a serious thing, and -never has been. It is an instrument on which one plays, that is -all. The only serious form of intellect I know is the British -intellect. And on the British intellect the illiterates play the -drum. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. What are you saying, Lord Illingworth, about the -drum? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I was merely talking to Mrs. Allonby about the -leading articles in the London newspapers. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. But do you believe all that is written in the -newspapers? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I do. Nowadays it is only the unreadable that -occurs. [Rises with MRS. ALLONBY.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Are you going, Mrs. Allonby? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Just as far as the conservatory. Lord Illingworth -told me this morning that there was an orchid there m beautiful as -the seven deadly sins. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear, I hope there is nothing of the kind. I -will certainly speak to the gardener. - -[Exit MRS. ALLONBY and LORD ILLINGWORTH.] - -LADY CAROLINE. Remarkable type, Mrs. Allonby. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. She lets her clever tongue run away with her -sometimes. - -LADY CAROLINE. Is that the only thing, Jane, Mrs. Allonby allows -to run away with her? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I hope so, Caroline, I am sure. - -[Enter LORD ALFRED.] - -Dear Lord Alfred, do join us. [LORD ALFRED sits down beside LADY -STUTFIELD.] - -LADY CAROLINE. You believe good of every one, Jane. It is a great -fault. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Do you really, really think, Lady Caroline, that -one should believe evil of every one? - -LADY CAROLINE. I think it is much safer to do so, Lady Stutfield. -Until, of course, people are found out to be good. But that -requires a great deal of investigation nowadays. - -LADY STUTFIELD. But there is so much unkind scandal in modern -life. - -LADY CAROLINE. Lord Illingworth remarked to me last night at -dinner that the basis of every scandal is an absolutely immoral -certainty. - -KELVIL. Lord Illingworth is, of course, a very brilliant man, but -he seems to me to be lacking in that fine faith in the nobility and -purity of life which is so important in this century. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes, quite, quite important, is it not? - -KELVIL. He gives me the impression of a man who does not -appreciate the beauty of our English home-life. I would say that -he was tainted with foreign ideas on the subject. - -LADY STUTFIELD. There is nothing, nothing like the beauty of home- -life, is there? - -KELVIL. It is the mainstay of our moral system in England, Lady -Stutfield. Without it we would become like our neighbours. - -LADY STUTFIELD. That would be so, so sad, would it not? - -KELVIL. I am afraid, too, that Lord Illingworth regards woman -simply as a toy. Now, I have never regarded woman as a toy. Woman -is the intellectual helpmeet of man in public as in private life. -Without her we should forget the true ideals. [Sits down beside -LADY STUTFIELD.] - -LADY STUTFIELD. I am so very, very glad to hear you say that. - -LADY CAROLINE. You a married man, Mr. Kettle? - -SIR JOHN. Kelvil, dear, Kelvil. - -KELVIL. I am married, Lady Caroline. - -LADY CAROLINE. Family? - -KELVIL. Yes. - -LADY CAROLINE. How many? - -KELVIL. Eight. - -[LADY STUTFIELD turns her attention to LORD ALFRED.] - -LADY CAROLINE. Mrs. Kettle and the children are, I suppose, at the -seaside? [SIR JOHN shrugs his shoulders.] - -KELVIL. My wife is at the seaside with the children, Lady -Caroline. - -LADY CAROLINE. You will join them later on, no doubt? - -KELVIL. If my public engagements permit me. - -LADY CAROLINE. Your public life must be a great source of -gratification to Mrs. Kettle. - -SIR JOHN. Kelvil, my love, Kelvil. - -LADY STUTFIELD. [To LORD ALFRED.] How very, very charming those -gold-tipped cigarettes of yours are, Lord Alfred. - -LORD ALFRED. They are awfully expensive. I can only afford them -when I'm in debt. - -LADY STUTFIELD. It must be terribly, terribly distressing to be in -debt. - -LORD ALFRED. One must have some occupation nowadays. If I hadn't -my debts I shouldn't have anything to think about. All the chaps I -know are in debt. - -LADY STUTFIELD. But don't the people to whom you owe the money -give you a great, great deal of annoyance? - -[Enter Footman.] - -LORD ALFRED. Oh, no, they write; I don't. - -LADY STUTFIELD. How very, very strange. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, here is a letter, Caroline, from dear Mrs. -Arbuthnot. She won't dine. I am so sorry. But she will come in -the evening. I am very pleased indeed. She is one of the sweetest -of women. Writes a beautiful hand, too, so large, so firm. [Hands -letter to LADY CAROLINE.] - -LADY CAROLINE. [Looking at it.] A little lacking in femininity, -Jane. Femininity is the quality I admire most in women. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [Taking back letter and leaving it on table.] -Oh! she is very feminine, Caroline, and so good too. You should -hear what the Archdeacon says of her. He regards her as his right -hand in the parish. [Footman speaks to her.] In the Yellow -Drawing-room. Shall we all go in? Lady Stutfield, shall we go in -to tea? - -LADY STUTFIELD. With pleasure, Lady Hunstanton. [They rise and -proceed to go off. SIR JOHN offers to carry LADY STUTFIELD'S -cloak.] - -LADY CAROLINE. John! If you would allow your nephew to look after -Lady Stutfield's cloak, you might help me with my workbasket. - -[Enter LORD ILLINGWORTH and MRS. ALLONBY.] - -SIR JOHN. Certainly, my love. [Exeunt.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. Curious thing, plain women are always jealous of -their husbands, beautiful women never are! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Beautiful women never have time. They are -always so occupied in being jealous of other people's husbands. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I should have thought Lady Caroline would have grown -tired of conjugal anxiety by this time! Sir John is her fourth! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. So much marriage is certainly not becoming. -Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin; but twenty -years of marriage make her something like a public building. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Twenty years of romance! Is there such a thing? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Not in our day. Women have become too -brilliant. Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humour -in the woman. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Or the want of it in the man. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You are quite right. In a Temple every one -should be serious, except the thing that is worshipped. - -MRS. ALLONBY. And that should be man? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Women kneel so gracefully; men don't. - -MRS. ALLONBY. You are thinking of Lady Stutfield! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I assure you I have not thought of Lady -Stutfield for the last quarter of an hour. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Is she such a mystery? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. She is more than a mystery - she is a mood. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Moods don't last. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is their chief charm. - -[Enter HESTER and GERALD.] - -GERALD. Lord Illingworth, every one has been congratulating me, -Lady Hunstanton and Lady Caroline, and . . . every one. I hope I -shall make a good secretary. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You will be the pattern secretary, Gerald. -[Talks to him.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. You enjoy country life, Miss Worsley? - -HESTER. Very much indeed. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Don't find yourself longing for a London dinner- -party? - -HESTER. I dislike London dinner-parties. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I adore them. The clever people never listen, and -the stupid people never talk. - -HESTER. I think the stupid people talk a great deal. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, I never listen! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear boy, if I didn't like you I wouldn't -have made you the offer. It is because I like you so much that I -want to have you with me. - -[Exit HESTER with GERALD.] - -Charming fellow, Gerald Arbuthnot! - -MRS. ALLONBY. He is very nice; very nice indeed. But I can't -stand the American young lady. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Why? - -MRS. ALLONBY. She told me yesterday, and in quite a loud voice -too, that she was only eighteen. It was most annoying. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should never trust a woman who tells one her -real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one -anything. - -MRS. ALLONBY. She is a Puritan besides - - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Ah, that is inexcusable. I don't mind plain -women being Puritans. It is the only excuse they have for being -plain. But she is decidedly pretty. I admire her immensely. -[Looks steadfastly at MRS. ALLONBY.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. What a thoroughly bad man you must be! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What do you call a bad man? - -MRS. ALLONBY. The sort of man who admires innocence. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. And a bad woman? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh! the sort of woman a man never gets tired of. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You are severe - on yourself. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Define us as a sex. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Sphinxes without secrets. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Does that include the Puritan women? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Do you know, I don't believe in the existence of -Puritan women? I don't think there is a woman in the world who -would not be a little flattered if one made love to her. It is -that which makes women so irresistibly adorable. - -MRS. ALLONBY. You think there is no woman in the world who would -object to being kissed? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Very few. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Miss Worsley would not let you kiss her. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Are you sure? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Quite. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What do you think she'd do if I kissed her? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Either marry you, or strike you across the face with -her glove. What would you do if she struck you across the face -with her glove? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Fall in love with her, probably. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Then it is lucky you are not going to kiss her! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Is that a challenge? - -MRS. ALLONBY. It is an arrow shot into the air. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Don't you know that I always succeed in whatever -I try? - -MRS. ALLONBY. I am sorry to hear it. We women adore failures. -They lean on us. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You worship successes. You cling to them. - -MRS. ALLONBY. We are the laurels to hide their baldness. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. And they need you always, except at the moment -of triumph. - -MRS. ALLONBY. They are uninteresting then. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. How tantalising you are! [A pause.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. Lord Illingworth, there is one thing I shall always -like you for. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Only one thing? And I have so many bad -qualities. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, don't be too conceited about them. You may lose -them as you grow old. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I never intend to grow old. The soul is born -old but grows young. That is the comedy of life. - -MRS. ALLONBY. And the body is born young and grows old. That is -life's tragedy. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Its comedy also, sometimes. But what is the -mysterious reason why you will always like me? - -MRS. ALLONBY. It is that you have never made love to me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I have never done anything else. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Really? I have not noticed it. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. How fortunate! It might have been a tragedy for -both of us. - -MRS. ALLONBY. We should each have survived. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. One can survive everything nowadays, except -death, and live down anything except a good reputation. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Have you tried a good reputation? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is one of the many annoyances to which I have -never been subjected. - -MRS. ALLONBY. It may come. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Why do you threaten me? - -MRS. ALLONBY. I will tell you when you have kissed the Puritan. - -[Enter Footman.] - -FRANCIS. Tea is served in the Yellow Drawing-room, my lord. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Tell her ladyship we are coming in. - -FRANCIS. Yes, my lord. - -[Exit.] - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Shall we go in to tea? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Do you like such simple pleasures? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I adore simple pleasures. They are the last -refuge of the complex. But, if you wish, let us stay here. Yes, -let us stay here. The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman -in a garden. - -MRS. ALLONBY. It ends with Revelations. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You fence divinely. But the button has come of -your foil. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I have still the mask. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It makes your eyes lovelier. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Thank you. Come. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. [Sees MRS. ARBUTHNOT'S letter on table, and -takes it up and looks at envelope.] What a curious handwriting! -It reminds me of the handwriting of a woman I used to know years -ago. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Who? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Oh! no one. No one in particular. A woman of -no importance. [Throws letter down, and passes up the steps of the -terrace with MRS. ALLONBY. They smile at each other.] - -ACT DROP. - - - -SECOND ACT - - - - -SCENE - -Drawing-room at Hunstanton, after dinner, lamps lit. Door L.C. -Door R.C. - -[Ladies seated on sofas.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. What a comfort it is to have got rid of the men for -a little! - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes; men persecute us dreadfully, don't they? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Persecute us? I wish they did. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear! - -MRS. ALLONBY. The annoying thing is that the wretches can be -perfectly happy without us. That is why I think it is every -woman's duty never to leave them alone for a single moment, except -during this short breathing space after dinner; without which I -believe we poor women would be absolutely worn to shadows. - -[Enter Servants with coffee.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Worn to shadows, dear? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Yes, Lady Hunstanton. It is such a strain keeping -men up to the mark. They are always trying to escape from us. - -LADY STUTFIELD. It seems to me that it is we who are always trying -to escape from them. Men are so very, very heartless. They know -their power and use it. - -LADY CAROLINE. [Takes coffee from Servant.] What stuff and -nonsense all this about men is! The thing to do is to keep men in -their proper place. - -MRS. ALLONBY. But what is their proper place, Lady Caroline? - -LADY CAROLINE. Looking after their wives, Mrs. Allonby. - -MRS. ALLONBY. [Takes coffee from Servant.] Really? And if -they're not married? - -LADY CAROLINE. If they are not married, they should be looking -after a wife. It's perfectly scandalous the amount of bachelors -who are going about society. There should be a law passed to -compel them all to marry within twelve months. - -LADY STUTFIELD. [Refuses coffee.] But if they're in love with -some one who, perhaps, is tied to another? - -LADY CAROLINE. In that case, Lady Stutfield, they should be -married off in a week to some plain respectable girl, in order to -teach them not to meddle with other people's property. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I don't think that we should ever be spoken of as -other people's property. All men are married women's property. -That is the only true definition of what married women's property -really is. But we don't belong to any one. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Oh, I am so very, very glad to hear you say so. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. But do you really think, dear Caroline, that -legislation would improve matters in any way? I am told that, -nowadays, all the married men live like bachelors, and all the -bachelors like married men. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I certainly never know one from the other. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Oh, I think one can always know at once whether a -man has home claims upon his life or not. I have noticed a very, -very sad expression in the eyes of so many married men. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, all that I have noticed is that they are -horribly tedious when they are good husbands, and abominably -conceited when they are not. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, I suppose the type of husband has -completely changed since my young days, but I'm bound to state that -poor dear Hunstanton was the most delightful of creatures, and as -good as gold. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, my husband is a sort of promissory note; I'm -tired of meeting him. - -LADY CAROLINE. But you renew him from time to time, don't you? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh no, Lady Caroline. I have only had one husband -as yet. I suppose you look upon me as quite an amateur. - -LADY CAROLINE. With your views on life I wonder you married at -all. - -MRS. ALLONBY. So do I. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear child, I believe you are really very -happy in your married life, but that you like to hide your -happiness from others. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I assure you I was horribly deceived in Ernest. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Oh, I hope not, dear. I knew his mother quite -well. She was a Stratton, Caroline, one of Lord Crowland's -daughters - -LADY CAROLINE. Victoria Stratton? I remember her perfectly. A -silly fair-haired woman with no chin. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, Ernest has a chin. He has a very strong chin, a -square chin. Ernest's chin is far too square. - -LADY STUTFIELD. But do you really think a man's chin can be too -square? I think a man should look very, very strong, and that his -chin should be quite, quite square. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Then you should certainly know Ernest, Lady -Stutfield. It is only fair to tell you beforehand he has got no -conversation at all. - -LADY STUTFIELD. I adore silent men. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, Ernest isn't silent. He talks the whole time. -But he has got no conversation. What he talks about I don't know. -I haven't listened to him for years. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Have you never forgiven him then? How sad that -seems! But all life is very, very sad, is it not? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Life, Lady Stutfield, is simply a MAUVAIS QUART -D'HEURE made up of exquisite moments. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes, there are moments, certainly. But was it -something very, very wrong that Mr. Allonby did? Did he become -angry with you, and say anything that was unkind or true? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh dear, no. Ernest is invariably calm. That is -one of the reasons he always gets on my nerves. Nothing is so -aggravating as calmness. There is something positively brutal -about the good temper of most modern men. I wonder we women stand -it as well as we do. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes; men's good temper shows they are not so -sensitive as we are, not so finely strung. It makes a great -barrier often between husband and wife, does it not? But I would -so much like to know what was the wrong thing Mr. Allonby did. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Well, I will tell you, if you solemnly promise to -tell everybody else. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Thank you, thank you. I will make a point of -repeating it. - -MRS. ALLONBY. When Ernest and I were engaged, he swore to me -positively on his knees that he had never loved any one before in -the whole course of his life. I was very young at the time, so I -didn't believe him, I needn't tell you. Unfortunately, however, I -made no enquiries of any kind till after I had been actually -married four or five months. I found out then that what he had -told me was perfectly true. And that sort of thing makes a man so -absolutely uninteresting. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear! - -MRS. ALLONBY. Men always want to be a woman's first love. That is -their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about -things. What we like is to be a man's last romance. - -LADY STUTFIELD. I see what you mean. It's very, very beautiful. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear child, you don't mean to tell me that you -won't forgive your husband because he never loved any one else? -Did you ever hear such a thing, Caroline? I am quite surprised. - -LADY CAROLINE. Oh, women have become so highly educated, Jane, -that nothing should surprise us nowadays, except happy marriages. -They apparently are getting remarkably rare. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, they're quite out of date. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Except amongst the middle classes, I have been -told. - -MRS. ALLONBY. How like the middle classes! - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes - is it not? - very, very like them. - -LADY CAROLINE. If what you tell us about the middle classes is -true, Lady Stutfield, it redounds greatly to their credit. It is -much to be regretted that in our rank of life the wife should be so -persistently frivolous, under the impression apparently that it is -the proper thing to be. It is to that I attribute the unhappiness -of so many marriages we all know of in society. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Do you know, Lady Caroline, I don't think the -frivolity of the wife has ever anything to do with it. More -marriages are ruined nowadays by the common sense of the husband -than by anything else. How can a woman be expected to be happy -with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly -rational being? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear! - -MRS. ALLONBY. Man, poor, awkward, reliable, necessary man belongs -to a sex that has been rational for millions and millions of years. -He can't help himself. It is in his race. The History of Woman is -very different. We have always been picturesque protests against -the mere existence of common sense. We saw its dangers from the -first. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes, the common sense of husbands is certainly -most, most trying. Do tell me your conception of the Ideal -Husband. I think it would be so very, very helpful. - -MRS. ALLONBY. The Ideal Husband? There couldn't be such a thing. -The institution is wrong. - -LADY STUTFIELD. The Ideal Man, then, in his relations to US. - -LADY CAROLINE. He would probably be extremely realistic. - -MRS. CAROLINE. The Ideal Man! Oh, the Ideal Man should talk to us -as if we were goddesses, and treat us as if we were children. He -should refuse all our serious requests, and gratify every one of -our whims. He should encourage us to have caprices, and forbid us -to have missions. He should always say much more than he means, -and always mean much more than he says. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. But how could he do both, dear? - -MRS. ALLONBY. He should never run down other pretty women. That -would show he had no taste, or make one suspect that he had too -much. No; he should be nice about them all, but say that somehow -they don't attract him. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes, that is always very, very pleasant to hear -about other women. - -MRS. ALLONBY. If we ask him a question about anything, he should -give us an answer all about ourselves. He should invariably praise -us for whatever qualities he knows we haven't got. But he should -be pitiless, quite pitiless, in reproaching us for the virtues that -we have never dreamed of possessing. He should never believe that -we know the use of useful things. That would be unforgiveable. -But he should shower on us everything we don't want. - -LADY CAROLINE. As far as I can see, he is to do nothing but pay -bills and compliments. - -MRS. ALLONBY. He should persistently compromise us in public, and -treat us with absolute respect when we are alone. And yet he -should be always ready to have a perfectly terrible scene, whenever -we want one, and to become miserable, absolutely miserable, at a -moment's notice, and to overwhelm us with just reproaches in less -than twenty minutes, and to be positively violent at the end of -half an hour, and to leave us for ever at a quarter to eight, when -we have to go and dress for dinner. And when, after that, one has -seen him for really the last time, and he has refused to take back -the little things he has given one, and promised never to -communicate with one again, or to write one any foolish letters, he -should be perfectly broken-hearted, and telegraph to one all day -long, and send one little notes every half-hour by a private -hansom, and dine quite alone at the club, so that every one should -know how unhappy he was. And after a whole dreadful week, during -which one has gone about everywhere with one's husband, just to -show how absolutely lonely one was, he may be given a third last -parting, in the evening, and then, if his conduct has been quite -irreproachable, and one has behaved really badly to him, he should -be allowed to admit that he has been entirely in the wrong, and -when he has admitted that, it becomes a woman's duty to forgive, -and one can do it all over again from the beginning, with -variations. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. How clever you are, my dear! You never mean a -single word you say. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Thank you, thank you. It has been quite, quite -entrancing. I must try and remember it all. There are such a -number of details that are so very, very important. - -LADY CAROLINE. But you have not told us yet what the reward of the -Ideal Man is to be. - -MRS. ALLONBY. His reward? Oh, infinite expectation. That is -quite enough for him. - -LADY STUTFIELD. But men are so terribly, terribly exacting, are -they not? - -MRS. ALLONBY. That makes no matter. One should never surrender. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Not even to the Ideal Man? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Certainly not to him. Unless, of course, one wants -to grow tired of him. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Oh! . . . yes. I see that. It is very, very -helpful. Do you think, Mrs. Allonby, I shall ever meet the Ideal -Man? Or are there more than one? - -MRS. ALLONBY. There are just four in London, Lady Stutfield. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Oh, my dear! - -MRS. ALLONBY. [Going over to her.] What has happened? Do tell -me. - -LADY HUNSTANTON [in a low voice] I had completely forgotten that -the American young lady has been in the room all the time. I am -afraid some of this clever talk may have shocked her a little. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, that will do her so much good! - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Let us hope she didn't understand much. I think -I had better go over and talk to her. [Rises and goes across to -HESTER WORSLEY.] Well, dear Miss Worsley. [Sitting down beside -her.] How quiet you have been in your nice little corner all this -time! I suppose you have been reading a book? There are so many -books here in the library. - -HESTER. No, I have been listening to the conversation. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You mustn't believe everything that was said, you -know, dear. - -HESTER. I didn't believe any of it - -LADY HUNSTANTON. That is quite right, dear. - -HESTER. [Continuing.] I couldn't believe that any women could -really hold such views of life as I have heard to-night from some -of your guests. [An awkward pause.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I hear you have such pleasant society in America. -Quite like our own in places, my son wrote to me. - -HESTER. There are cliques in America as elsewhere, Lady -Hunstanton. But true American society consists simply of all the -good women and good men we have in our country. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. What a sensible system, and I dare say quite -pleasant too. I am afraid in England we have too many artificial -social barriers. We don't see as much as we should of the middle -and lower classes. - -HESTER. In America we have no lower classes. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Really? What a very strange arrangement! - -MRS. ALLONBY. What is that dreadful girl talking about? - -LADY STUTFIELD. She is painfully natural, is she not? - -LADY CAROLINE. There are a great many things you haven't got in -America, I am told, Miss Worsley. They say you have no ruins, and -no curiosities. - -MRS. ALLONBY. [To LADY STUTFIELD.] What nonsense! They have -their mothers and their manners. - -HESTER. The English aristocracy supply us with our curiosities, -Lady Caroline. They are sent over to us every summer, regularly, -in the steamers, and propose to us the day after they land. As for -ruins, we are trying to build up something that will last longer -than brick or stone. [Gets up to take her fan from table.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. What is that, dear? Ah, yes, an iron Exhibition, -is it not, at that place that has the curious name? - -HESTER. [Standing by table.] We are trying to build up life, Lady -Hunstanton, on a better, truer, purer basis than life rests on -here. This sounds strange to you all, no doubt. How could it -sound other than strange? You rich people in England, you don't -know how you are living. How could you know? You shut out from -your society the gentle and the good. You laugh at the simple and -the pure. Living, as you all do, on others and by them, you sneer -at self-sacrifice, and if you throw bread to the poor, it is merely -to keep them quiet for a season. With all your pomp and wealth and -art you don't know how to live - you don't even know that. You -love the beauty that you can see and touch and handle, the beauty -that you can destroy, and do destroy, but of the unseen beauty of -life, of the unseen beauty of a higher life, you know nothing. You -have lost life's secret. Oh, your English society seems to me -shallow, selfish, foolish. It has blinded its eyes, and stopped -its ears. It lies like a leper in purple. It sits like a dead -thing smeared with gold. It is all wrong, all wrong. - -LADY STUTFIELD. I don't think one should know of these things. It -is not very, very nice, is it? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear Miss Worsley, I thought you liked English -society so much. You were such a success in it. And you were so -much admired by the best people. I quite forget what Lord Henry -Weston said of you - but it was most complimentary, and you know -what an authority he is on beauty. - -HESTER. Lord Henry Weston! I remember him, Lady Hunstanton. A -man with a hideous smile and a hideous past. He is asked -everywhere. No dinner-party is complete without him. What of -those whose ruin is due to him? They are outcasts. They are -nameless. If you met them in the street you would turn your head -away. I don't complain of their punishment. Let all women who -have sinned be punished. - -[MRS. ARBUTHNOT enters from terrace behind in a cloak with a lace -veil over her head. She hears the last words and starts.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear young lady! - -HESTER. It is right that they should be punished, but don't let -them be the only ones to suffer. If a man and woman have sinned, -let them both go forth into the desert to love or loathe each other -there. Let them both be branded. Set a mark, if you wish, on -each, but don't punish the one and let the other go free. Don't -have one law for men and another for women. You are unjust to -women in England. And till you count what is a shame in a woman to -be an infamy in a man, you will always be unjust, and Right, that -pillar of fire, and Wrong, that pillar of cloud, will be made dim -to your eyes, or be not seen at all, or if seen, not regarded - -LADY CAROLINE. Might I, dear Miss Worsley, as you are standing up, -ask you for my cotton that is just behind you? Thank you. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear Mrs. Arbuthnot! I am so pleased you have -come up. But I didn't hear you announced. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, I came straight in from the terrace, Lady -Hunstanton, just as I was. You didn't tell me you had a party. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Not a party. Only a few guests who are staying -in the house, and whom you must know. Allow me. [Tries to help -her. Rings bell.] Caroline, this is Mrs. Arbuthnot, one of my -sweetest friends. Lady Caroline Pontefract, Lady Stutfield, Mrs. -Allonby, and my young American friend, Miss Worsley, who has just -been telling us all how wicked we are. - -HESTER. I am afraid you think I spoke too strongly, Lady -Hunstanton. But there are some things in England - - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear young lady, there was a great deal of -truth, I dare say, in what you said, and you looked very pretty -while you said it, which is much more important, Lord Illingworth -would tell us. The only point where I thought you were a little -hard was about Lady Caroline's brother, about poor Lord Henry. He -is really such good company. - -[Enter Footman.] - -Take Mrs. Arbuthnot's things. - -[Exit Footman with wraps.] - -HESTER. Lady Caroline, I had no idea it was your brother. I am -sorry for the pain I must have caused you - I - - -LADY CAROLINE. My dear Miss Worsley, the only part of your little -speech, if I may so term it, with which I thoroughly agreed, was -the part about my brother. Nothing that you could possibly say -could be too bad for him. I regard Henry as infamous, absolutely -infamous. But I am bound to state, as you were remarking, Jane, -that he is excellent company, and he has one of the best cooks in -London, and after a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's -own relations. - -LADY HUNSTANTON [to MISS WORSLEY] Now, do come, dear, and make -friends with Mrs. Arbuthnot. She is one of the good, sweet, simple -people you told us we never admitted into society. I am sorry to -say Mrs. Arbuthnot comes very rarely to me. But that is not my -fault. - -MRS. ALLONBY. What a bore it is the men staying so long after -dinner! I expect they are saying the most dreadful things about -us. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Do you really think so? - -MRS. ALLONBY. I was sure of it. - -LADY STUTFIELD. How very, very horrid of them! Shall we go onto -the terrace? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, anything to get away from the dowagers and the -dowdies. [Rises and goes with LADY STUTFIELD to door L.C.] We are -only going to look at the stars, Lady Hunstanton. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You will find a great many, dear, a great many. -But don't catch cold. [To MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] We shall all miss -Gerald so much, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. But has Lord Illingworth really offered to make -Gerald his secretary? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Oh, yes! He has been most charming about it. He -has the highest possible opinion of your boy. You don't know Lord -Illingworth, I believe, dear. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have never met him. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You know him by name, no doubt? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I am afraid I don't. I live so much out of the -world, and see so few people. I remember hearing years ago of an -old Lord Illingworth who lived in Yorkshire, I think. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, yes. That would be the last Earl but one. -He was a very curious man. He wanted to marry beneath him. Or -wouldn't, I believe. There was some scandal about it. The present -Lord Illingworth is quite different. He is very distinguished. He -does - well, he does nothing, which I am afraid our pretty American -visitor here thinks very wrong of anybody, and I don't know that he -cares much for the subjects in which you are so interested, dear -Mrs. Arbuthnot. Do you think, Caroline, that Lord Illingworth is -interested in the Housing of the Poor? - -LADY CAROLINE. I should fancy not at all, Jane. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. We all have our different tastes, have we not? -But Lord Illingworth has a very high position, and there is nothing -he couldn't get if he chose to ask for it. Of course, he is -comparatively a young man still, and he has only come to his title -within - how long exactly is it, Caroline, since Lord Illingworth -succeeded? - -LADY CAROLINE. About four years, I think, Jane. I know it was the -same year in which my brother had his last exposure in the evening -newspapers. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, I remember. That would be about four years -ago. Of course, there were a great many people between the present -Lord Illingworth and the title, Mrs. Arbuthnot. There was - who -was there, Caroline? - -LADY CAROLINE. There was poor Margaret's baby. You remember how -anxious she was to have a boy, and it was a boy, but it died, and -her husband died shortly afterwards, and she married almost -immediately one of Lord Ascot's sons, who, I am told, beats her. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, that is in the family, dear, that is in the -family. And there was also, I remember, a clergyman who wanted to -be a lunatic, or a lunatic who wanted to be a clergyman, I forget -which, but I know the Court of Chancery investigated the matter, -and decided that he was quite sane. And I saw him afterwards at -poor Lord Plumstead's with straws in his hair, or something very -odd about him. I can't recall what. I often regret, Lady -Caroline, that dear Lady Cecilia never lived to see her son get the -title. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Lady Cecilia? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Lord Illingworth's mother, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, -was one of the Duchess of Jerningham's pretty daughters, and she -married Sir Thomas Harford, who wasn't considered a very good match -for her at the time, though he was said to be the handsomest man in -London. I knew them all quite intimately, and both the sons, -Arthur and George. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It was the eldest son who succeeded, of course, -Lady Hunstanton? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. No, dear, he was killed in the hunting field. Or -was it fishing, Caroline? I forget. But George came in for -everything. I always tell him that no younger son has ever had -such good luck as he has had. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Lady Hunstanton, I want to speak to Gerald at -once. Might I see him? Can he be sent for? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Certainly, dear. I will send one of the servants -into the dining-room to fetch him. I don't know what keeps the -gentlemen so long. [Rings bell.] When I knew Lord Illingworth -first as plain George Harford, he was simply a very brilliant young -man about town, with not a penny of money except what poor dear -Lady Cecilia gave him. She was quite devoted to him. Chiefly, I -fancy, because he was on bad terms with his father. Oh, here is -the dear Archdeacon. [To Servant.] It doesn't matter. - -[Enter SIR JOHN and DOCTOR DAUBENY. SIR JOHN goes over to LADY -STUTFIELD, DOCTOR DAUBENY to LADY HUNSTANTON.] - -THE ARCHDEACON. Lord Illingworth has been most entertaining. I -have never enjoyed myself more. [Sees MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] Ah, Mrs. -Arbuthnot. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [To DOCTOR DAUBENY.] You see I have got Mrs. -Arbuthnot to come to me at last. - -THE ARCHDEACON. That is a great honour, Lady Hunstanton. Mrs. -Daubeny will be quite jealous of you. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, I am so sorry Mrs. Daubeny could not come -with you to-night. Headache as usual, I suppose. - -THE ARCHDEACON. Yes, Lady Hunstanton; a perfect martyr. But she -is happiest alone. She is happiest alone. - -LADY CAROLINE. [To her husband.] John! [SIR JOHN goes over to -his wife. DOCTOR DAUBENY talks to LADY HUNSTANTON and MRS. -ARBUTHNOT.] - -[MRS. ARBUTHNOT watches LORD ILLINGWORTH the whole time. He has -passed across the room without noticing her, and approaches MRS. -ALLONBY, who with LADY STUTFIELD is standing by the door looking on -to the terrace.] - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. How is the most charming woman in the world? - -MRS. ALLONBY. [Taking LADY STUTFIELD by the hand.] We are both -quite well, thank you, Lord Illingworth. But what a short time you -have been in the dining-room! It seems as if we had only just -left. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I was bored to death. Never opened my lips the -whole time. Absolutely longing to come in to you. - -MRS. ALLONBY. You should have. The American girl has been giving -us a lecture. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Really? All Americans lecture, I believe. I -suppose it is something in their climate. What did she lecture -about? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, Puritanism, of course. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I am going to convert her, am I not? How long -do you give me? - -MRS. ALLONBY. A week. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. A week is more than enough. - -[Enter GERALD and LORD ALFRED.] - -GERALD. [Going to MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] Dear mother! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald, I don't feel at all well. See me home, -Gerald. I shouldn't have come. - -GERALD. I am so sorry, mother. Certainly. But you must know Lord -Illingworth first. [Goes across room.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Not to-night, Gerald. - -GERALD. Lord Illingworth, I want you so much to know my mother. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. With the greatest pleasure. [To MRS. ALLONBY.] -I'll be back in a moment. People's mothers always bore me to -death. All women become like their mothers. That is their -tragedy. - -MRS. ALLONBY. No man does. That is his. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What a delightful mood you are in to-night! -[Turns round and goes across with GERALD to MRS. ARBUTHNOT. When -he sees her, he starts back in wonder. Then slowly his eyes turn -towards GERALD.] - -GERALD. Mother, this is Lord Illingworth, who has offered to take -me as his private secretary. [MRS. ARBUTHNOT bows coldly.] It is -a wonderful opening for me, isn't it? I hope he won't be -disappointed in me, that is all. You'll thank Lord Illingworth, -mother, won't you? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Lord Illingworth in very good, I am sure, to -interest himself in you for the moment. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. [Putting his hand on GERALD's shoulder.] Oh, -Gerald and I are great friends already, Mrs . . . Arbuthnot. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. There can be nothing in common between you and my -son, Lord Illingworth. - -GERALD. Dear mother, how can you say so? Of course Lord -Illingworth is awfully clever and that sort of thing. There is -nothing Lord Illingworth doesn't know. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear boy! - -GERALD. He knows more about life than any one I have ever met. I -feel an awful duffer when I am with you, Lord Illingworth. Of -course, I have had so few advantages. I have not been to Eton or -Oxford like other chaps. But Lord Illingworth doesn't seem to mind -that. He has been awfully good to me, mother. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Lord Illingworth may change his mind. He may not -really want you as his secretary. - -GERALD. Mother! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. You must remember, as you said yourself, you have -had so few advantages. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Lord Illingworth, I want to speak to you for a -moment. Do come over. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Will you excuse me, Mrs. Arbuthnot? Now, don't -let your charming mother make any more difficulties, Gerald. The -thing is quite settled, isn't it? - -GERALD. I hope so. [LORD ILLINGWORTH goes across to MRS. -ARBUTHNOT.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. I thought you were never going to leave the lady in -black velvet. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. She is excessively handsome. [Looks at MRS. -ARBUTHNOT.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Caroline, shall we all make a move to the music- -room? Miss Worsley is going to play. You'll come too, dear Mrs. -Arbuthnot, won't you? You don't know what a treat is in store for -you. [To DOCTOR DAUBENY.] I must really take Miss Worsley down -some afternoon to the rectory. I should so much like dear Mrs. -Daubeny to hear her on the violin. Ah, I forgot. Dear Mrs. -Daubeny's hearing is a little defective, is it not? - -THE ARCHDEACON. Her deafness is a great privation to her. She -can't even hear my sermons now. She reads them at home. But she -has many resources in herself, many resources. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. She reads a good deal, I suppose? - -THE ARCHDEACON. Just the very largest print. The eyesight is -rapidly going. But she's never morbid, never morbid. - -GERALD. [To LORD ILLINGWORTH.] Do speak to my mother, Lord -Illingworth, before you go into the music-room. She seems to -think, somehow, you don't mean what you said to me. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Aren't you coming? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. In a few moments. Lady Hunstanton, if Mrs. -Arbuthnot would allow me, I would like to say a few words to her, -and we will join you later on. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, of course. You will have a great deal to say -to her, and she will have a great deal to thank you for. It is not -every son who gets such an offer, Mrs. Arbuthnot. But I know you -appreciate that, dear. - -LADY CAROLINE. John! - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Now, don't keep Mrs. Arbuthnot too long, Lord -Illingworth. We can't spare her. - -[Exit following the other guests. Sound of violin heard from -music-room.] - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. So that is our son, Rachel! Well, I am very -proud of him. He in a Harford, every inch of him. By the way, why -Arbuthnot, Rachel? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. One name is as good as another, when one has no -right to any name. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I suppose so - but why Gerald? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. After a man whose heart I broke - after my father. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Well, Rachel, what in over is over. All I have -got to say now in that I am very, very much pleased with our boy. -The world will know him merely as my private secretary, but to me -he will be something very near, and very dear. It is a curious -thing, Rachel; my life seemed to be quite complete. It was not so. -It lacked something, it lacked a son. I have found my son now, I -am glad I have found him. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. You have no right to claim him, or the smallest -part of him. The boy is entirely mine, and shall remain mine. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear Rachel, you have had him to yourself for -over twenty years. Why not let me have him for a little now? He -is quite as much mine as yours. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Are you talking of the child you abandoned? Of -the child who, as far as you are concerned, might have died of -hunger and of want? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You forget, Rachel, it was you who left me. It -was not I who left you. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I left you because you refused to give the child a -name. Before my son was born, I implored you to marry me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I had no expectations then. And besides, -Rachel, I wasn't much older than you were. I was only twenty-two. -I was twenty-one, I believe, when the whole thing began in your -father's garden. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. When a man is old enough to do wrong he should be -old enough to do right also. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear Rachel, intellectual generalities are -always interesting, but generalities in morals mean absolutely -nothing. As for saying I left our child to starve, that, of -course, is untrue and silly. My mother offered you six hundred a -year. But you wouldn't take anything. You simply disappeared, and -carried the child away with you. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I wouldn't have accepted a penny from her. Your -father was different. He told you, in my presence, when we were in -Paris, that it was your duty to marry me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Oh, duty is what one expects from others, it is -not what one does oneself. Of course, I was influenced by my -mother. Every man is when he is young. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I am glad to hear you say so. Gerald shall -certainly not go away with you. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What nonsense, Rachel! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Do you think I would allow my son - - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. OUR son. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. My son [LORD ILLINGWORTH shrugs his shoulders] - -to go away with the man who spoiled my youth, who ruined my life, -who has tainted every moment of my days? You don't realise what my -past has been in suffering and in shame. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear Rachel, I must candidly say that I think -Gerald's future considerably more important than your past. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald cannot separate his future from my past. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. That is exactly what he should do. That is -exactly what you should help him to do. What a typical woman you -are! You talk sentimentally, and you are thoroughly selfish the -whole time. But don't let us have a scene. Rachel, I want you to -look at this matter from the common-sense point of view, from the -point of view of what is best for our son, leaving you and me out -of the question. What is our son at present? An underpaid clerk -in a small Provincial Bank in a third-rate English town. If you -imagine he is quite happy in such a position, you are mistaken. He -is thoroughly discontented. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He was not discontented till he met you. You have -made him so. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Of course, I made him so. Discontent is the -first step in the progress of a man or a nation. But I did not -leave him with a mere longing for things he could not get. No, I -made him a charming offer. He jumped at it, I need hardly say. -Any young man would. And now, simply because it turns out that I -am the boy's own father and he my own son, you propose practically -to ruin his career. That is to say, if I were a perfect stranger, -you would allow Gerald to go away with me, but as he is my own -flesh and blood you won't. How utterly illogical you are! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will not allow him to go. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. How can you prevent it? What excuse can you -give to him for making him decline such an offer as mine? I won't -tell him in what relations I stand to him, I need hardly say. But -you daren't tell him. You know that. Look how you have brought -him up. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have brought him up to be a good man. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Quite so. And what is the result? You have -educated him to be your judge if he ever finds you out. And a -bitter, an unjust judge he will be to you. Don't be deceived, -Rachel. Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they -judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. George, don't take my son away from me. I have -had twenty years of sorrow, and I have only had one thing to love -me, only one thing to love. You have had a life of joy, and -pleasure, and success. You have been quite happy, you have never -thought of us. There was no reason, according to your views of -life, why you should have remembered us at all. Your meeting us -was a mere accident, a horrible accident. Forget it. Don't come -now, and rob me of . . . of all I have in the whole world. You are -so rich in other things. Leave me the little vineyard of my life; -leave me the walled-in garden and the well of water; the ewe-lamb -God sent me, in pity or in wrath, oh! leave me that. George, don't -take Gerald from me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Rachel, at the present moment you are not -necessary to Gerald's career; I am. There is nothing more to be -said on the subject. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will not let him go. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Here is Gerald. He has a right to decide for -himself. - -[Enter GERALD.] - -GERALD. Well, dear mother, I hope you have settled it all with -Lord Illingworth? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have not, Gerald. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Your mother seems not to like your coming with -me, for some reason. - -GERALD. Why, mother? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I thought you were quite happy here with me, -Gerald. I didn't know you were so anxious to leave me. - -GERALD. Mother, how can you talk like that? Of course I have been -quite happy with you. But a man can't stay always with his mother. -No chap does. I want to make myself a position, to do something. -I thought you would have been proud to see me Lord Illingworth's -secretary. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I do not think you would be suitable as a private -secretary to Lord Illingworth. You have no qualifications. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I don't wish to seem to interfere for a moment, -Mrs. Arbuthnot, but as far as your last objection is concerned, I -surely am the best judge. And I can only tell you that your son -has all the qualifications I had hoped for. He has more, in fact, -than I had even thought of. Far more. [MRS. ARBUTHNOT remains -silent.] Have you any other reason, Mrs. Arbuthnot, why you don't -wish your son to accept this post? - -GERALD. Have you, mother? Do answer. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. If you have, Mrs. Arbuthnot, pray, pray say it. -We are quite by ourselves here. Whatever it is, I need not say I -will not repeat it. - -GERALD. Mother? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. If you would like to be alone with your son, I -will leave you. You may have some other reason you don't wish me -to hear. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have no other reason. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Then, my dear boy, we may look on the thing as -settled. Come, you and I will smoke a cigarette on the terrace -together. And Mrs. Arbuthnot, pray let me tell you, that I think -you have acted very, very wisely. - -[Exit with GERALD. MRS. ARBUTHNOT is left alone. She stands -immobile with a look of unutterable sorrow on her face.] - -ACT DROP - - - -THIRD ACT - - - -SCENE - - -The Picture Gallery at Hunstanton. Door at back leading on to -terrace. - -[LORD ILLINGWORTH and GERALD, R.C. LORD ILLINGWORTH lolling on a -sofa. GERALD in a chair.] - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Thoroughly sensible woman, your mother, Gerald. -I knew she would come round in the end. - -GERALD. My mother is awfully conscientious, Lord Illingworth, and -I know she doesn't think I am educated enough to be your secretary. -She is perfectly right, too. I was fearfully idle when I was at -school, and I couldn't pass an examination now to save my life. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear Gerald, examinations are of no value -whatsoever. If a man is a gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if -he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him. - -GERALD. But I am so ignorant of the world, Lord Illingworth. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Don't be afraid, Gerald. Remember that you've -got on your side the most wonderful thing in the world - youth! -There is nothing like youth. The middle-aged are mortgaged to -Life. The old are in life's lumber-room. But youth is the Lord of -Life. Youth has a kingdom waiting for it. Every one is born a -king, and most people die in exile, like most kings. To win back -my youth, Gerald, there is nothing I wouldn't do - except take -exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community. - -GERALD. But you don't call yourself old, Lord Illingworth? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I am old enough to be your father, Gerald. - -GERALD. I don't remember my father; he died years ago. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. So Lady Hunstanton told me. - -GERALD. It is very curious, my mother never talks to me about my -father. I sometimes think she must have married beneath her. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. [Winces slightly.] Really? [Goes over and puts -his hand on GERALD'S shoulder.] You have missed not having a -father, I suppose, Gerald? - -GERALD. Oh, no; my mother has been so good to me. No one ever had -such a mother as I have had. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I am quite sure of that. Still I should imagine -that most mothers don't quite understand their sons. Don't -realise, I mean, that a son has ambitions, a desire to see life, to -make himself a name. After all, Gerald, you couldn't be expected -to pass all your life in such a hole as Wrockley, could you? - -GERALD. Oh, no! It would be dreadful! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. A mother's love is very touching, of course, but -it is often curiously selfish. I mean, there is a good deal of -selfishness in it. - -GERALD. [Slowly.] I suppose there is. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Your mother is a thoroughly good woman. But -good women have such limited views of life, their horizon is so -small, their interests are so petty, aren't they? - -GERALD. They are awfully interested, certainly, in things we don't -care much about. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I suppose your mother is very religious, and -that sort of thing. - -GERALD. Oh, yes, she's always going to church. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Ah! she is not modern, and to be modern is the -only thing worth being nowadays. You want to be modern, don't you, -Gerald? You want to know life as it really is. Not to be put of -with any old-fashioned theories about life. Well, what you have to -do at present is simply to fit yourself for the best society. A -man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. -The future belongs to the dandy. It is the exquisites who are -going to rule. - -GERALD. I should like to wear nice things awfully, but I have -always been told that a man should not think too much about his -clothes. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. People nowadays are so absolutely superficial -that they don't understand the philosophy of the superficial. By -the way, Gerald, you should learn how to tie your tie better. -Sentiment is all very well for the button-hole. But the essential -thing for a necktie is style. A well-tied tie is the first serious -step in life. - -GERALD. [Laughing.] I might be able to learn how to tie a tie, -Lord Illingworth, but I should never be able to talk as you do. I -don't know how to talk. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Oh! talk to every woman as if you loved her, and -to every man as if he bored you, and at the end of your first -season you will have the reputation of possessing the most perfect -social tact. - -GERALD. But it is very difficult to get into society isn't it? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. To get into the best society, nowadays, one has -either to feed people, amuse people, or shock people - that is all! - -GERALD. I suppose society is wonderfully delightful! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. To be in it is merely a bore. But to be out of -it simply a tragedy. Society is a necessary thing. No man has any -real success in this world unless he has got women to back him, and -women rule society. If you have not got women on your side you are -quite over. You might just as well be a barrister, or a -stockbroker, or a journalist at once. - -GERALD. It is very difficult to understand women, is it not? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You should never try to understand them. Women -are pictures. Men are problems. If you want to know what a woman -really means - which, by the way, is always a dangerous thing to do -- look at her, don't listen to her. - -GERALD. But women are awfully clever, aren't they? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should always tell them so. But, to the -philosopher, my dear Gerald, women represent the triumph of matter -over mind - just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals. - -GERALD. How then can women have so much power as you say they -have? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. The history of women is the history of the worst -form of tyranny the world has ever known. The tyranny of the weak -over the strong. It is the only tyranny that lasts. - -GERALD. But haven't women got a refining influence? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Nothing refines but the intellect. - -GERALD. Still, there are many different kinds of women, aren't -there? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Only two kinds in society: the plain and the -coloured. - -GERALD. But there are good women in society, aren't there? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Far too many. - -GERALD. But do you think women shouldn't be good? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should never tell them so, they'd all become -good at once. Women are a fascinatingly wilful sex. Every woman -is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself. - -GERALD. You have never been married, Lord Illingworth, have you? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Men marry because they are tired; women because -they are curious. Both are disappointed. - -GERALD. But don't you think one can be happy when one is married? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Perfectly happy. But the happiness of a married -man, my dear Gerald, depends on the people he has not married. - -GERALD. But if one is in love? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should always be in love. That is the -reason one should never marry. - -GERALD. Love is a very wonderful thing, isn't it? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. When one is in love one begins by deceiving -oneself. And one ends by deceiving others. That is what the world -calls a romance. But a really GRANDE PASSION is comparatively rare -nowadays. It is the privilege of people who have nothing to do. -That is the one use of the idle classes in a country, and the only -possible explanation of us Harfords. - -GERALD. Harfords, Lord Illingworth? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. That is my family name. You should study the -Peerage, Gerald. It is the one book a young man about town should -know thoroughly, and it is the best thing in fiction the English -have ever done. And now, Gerald, you are going into a perfectly -new life with me, and I want you to know how to live. [MRS. -ARBUTHNOT appears on terrace behind.] For the world has been made -by fools that wise men should live in it! - -[Enter L.C. LADY HUNSTANTON and DR. DAUBENY.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! here you are, dear Lord Illingworth. Well, I -suppose you have been telling our young friend, Gerald, what his -new duties are to be, and giving him a great deal of good advice -over a pleasant cigarette. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I have been giving him the best of advice, Lady -Hunstanton, and the best of cigarettes. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I am so sorry I was not here to listen to you, -but I suppose I am too old now to learn. Except from you, dear -Archdeacon, when you are in your nice pulpit. But then I always -know what you are going to say, so I don't feel alarmed. [Sees -MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] Ah! dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, do come and join us. -Come, dear. [Enter MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] Gerald has been having such a -long talk with Lord Illingworth; I am sure you must feel very much -flattered at the pleasant way in which everything has turned out -for him. Let us sit down. [They sit down.] And how is your -beautiful embroidery going on? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I am always at work, Lady Hunstanton. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Mrs. Daubeny embroiders a little, too, doesn't -she? - -THE ARCHDEACON. She was very deft with her needle once, quite a -Dorcas. But the gout has crippled her fingers a good deal. She -has not touched the tambour frame for nine or ten years. But she -has many other amusements. She is very much interested in her own -health. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! that is always a nice distraction, in it not? -Now, what are you talking about, Lord Illingworth? Do tell us. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I was on the point of explaining to Gerald that -the world has always laughed at its own tragedies, that being the -only way in which it has been able to bear them. And that, -consequently, whatever the world has treated seriously belongs to -the comedy side of things. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Now I am quite out of my depth. I usually am -when Lord Illingworth says anything. And the Humane Society is -most careless. They never rescue me. I am left to sink. I have a -dim idea, dear Lord Illingworth, that you are always on the side of -the sinners, and I know I always try to be on the side of the -saints, but that is as far as I get. And after all, it may be -merely the fancy of a drowning person. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. The only difference between the saint and the -sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a -future. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! that quite does for me. I haven't a word to -say. You and I, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, are behind the age. We can't -follow Lord Illingworth. Too much care was taken with our -education, I am afraid. To have been well brought up is a great -drawback nowadays. It shuts one out from so much. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I should be sorry to follow Lord Illingworth in -any of his opinions. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You are quite right, dear. - -[GERALD shrugs his shoulders and looks irritably over at his -mother. Enter LADY CAROLINE.] - -LADY CAROLINE. Jane, have you seen John anywhere? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You needn't be anxious about him, dear. He is -with Lady Stutfield; I saw them some time ago, in the Yellow -Drawing-room. They seem quite happy together. You are not going, -Caroline? Pray sit down. - -LADY CAROLINE. I think I had better look after John. - -[Exit LADY CAROLINE.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. It doesn't do to pay men so much attention. And -Caroline has really nothing to be anxious about. Lady Stutfield is -very sympathetic. She is just as sympathetic about one thing as -she is about another. A beautiful nature. - -[Enter SIR JOHN and MRS. ALLONBY.] - -Ah! here is Sir John! And with Mrs. Allonby too! I suppose it was -Mrs. Allonby I saw him with. Sir John, Caroline has been looking -everywhere for you. - -MRS. ALLONBY. We have been waiting for her in the Music-room, dear -Lady Hunstanton. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! the Music-room, of course. I thought it was -the Yellow Drawing-room, my memory is getting so defective. [To -the ARCHDEACON.] Mrs. Daubeny has a wonderful memory, hasn't she? - -THE ARCHDEACON. She used to be quite remarkable for her memory, -but since her last attack she recalls chiefly the events of her -early childhood. But she finds great pleasure in such -retrospections, great pleasure. - -[Enter LADY STUTFIELD and MR. KELVIL.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! dear Lady Stutfield! and what has Mr. Kelvil -been talking to you about? - -LADY STUTFIELD. About Bimetallism, as well as I remember. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Bimetallism! Is that quite a nice subject? -However, I know people discuss everything very freely nowadays. -What did Sir John talk to you about, dear Mrs. Allonby? - -MRS. ALLONBY. About Patagonia. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Really? What a remote topic! But very -improving, I have no doubt. - -MRS. ALLONBY. He has been most interesting on the subject of -Patagonia. Savages seem to have quite the same views as cultured -people on almost all subjects. They are excessively advanced. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. What do they do? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Apparently everything. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, it is very gratifying, dear Archdeacon, is -it not, to find that Human Nature is permanently one. - On the -whole, the world is the same world, is it not? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. The world is simply divided into two classes - -those who believe the incredible, like the public - and those who -do the improbable - - -MRS. ALLONBY. Like yourself? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Yes; I am always astonishing myself. It is the -only thing that makes life worth living. - -LADY STUTFIELD. And what have you been doing lately that -astonishes you? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I have been discovering all kinds of beautiful -qualities in my own nature. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah! don't become quite perfect all at once. Do it -gradually! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I don't intend to grow perfect at all. At -least, I hope I shan't. It would be most inconvenient. Women love -us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive -us everything, even our gigantic intellects. - -MRS. ALLONBY. It is premature to ask us to forgive analysis. We -forgive adoration; that is quite as much as should be expected from -us. - -[Enter LORD ALFRED. He joins LADY STUTFIELD.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! we women should forgive everything, shouldn't -we, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot? I am sure you agree with me in that. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I do not, Lady Hunstanton. I think there are many -things women should never forgive. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. What sort of things? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. The ruin of another woman's life. - -[Moves slowly away to back of stage.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! those things are very sad, no doubt, but I -believe there are admirable homes where people of that kind are -looked after and reformed, and I think on the whole that the secret -of life is to take things very, very easily. - -MRS. ALLONBY. The secret of life is never to have an emotion that -is unbecoming. - -LADY STUTFIELD. The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure -of being terribly, terribly deceived. - -KELVIL. The secret of life is to resist temptation, Lady -Stutfield. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. There is no secret of life. Life's aim, if it -has one, is simply to be always looking for temptations. There are -not nearly enough. I sometimes pass a whole day without coming -across a single one. It is quite dreadful. It makes one so -nervous about the future. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [Shakes her fan at him.] I don't know how it is, -dear Lord Illingworth, but everything you have said to-day seems to -me excessively immoral. It has been most interesting, listening to -you. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. All thought is immoral. Its very essence is -destruction. If you think of anything, you kill it. Nothing -survives being thought of. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I don't understand a word, Lord Illingworth. But -I have no doubt it is all quite true. Personally, I have very -little to reproach myself with, on the score of thinking. I don't -believe in women thinking too much. Women should think in -moderation, as they should do all things in moderation. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Moderation is a fatal thing, Lady Hunstanton. -Nothing succeeds like excess. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I hope I shall remember that. It sounds an -admirable maxim. But I'm beginning to forget everything. It's a -great misfortune. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is one of your most fascinating qualities, -Lady Hunstanton. No woman should have a memory. Memory in a woman -is the beginning of dowdiness. One can always tell from a woman's -bonnet whether she has got a memory or not. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. How charming you are, dear Lord Illingworth. You -always find out that one's most glaring fault is one's most -important virtue. You have the most comforting views of life. - -[Enter FARQUHAR.] - -FARQUHAR. Doctor Daubeny's carriage! - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear Archdeacon! It is only half-past ten. - -THE ARCHDEACON. [Rising.] I am afraid I must go, Lady Hunstanton. -Tuesday is always one of Mrs. Daubeny's bad nights. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [Rising.] Well, I won't keep you from her. -[Goes with him towards door.] I have told Farquhar to put a brace -of partridge into the carriage. Mrs. Daubeny may fancy them. - -THE ARCHDEACON. It is very kind of you, but Mrs. Daubeny never -touches solids now. Lives entirely on jellies. But she is -wonderfully cheerful, wonderfully cheerful. She has nothing to -complain of. - -[Exit with LADY HUNSTANTON.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. [Goes over to LORD ILLINGWORTH.] There is a -beautiful moon to-night. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Let us go and look at it. To look at anything -that is inconstant is charming nowadays. - -MRS. ALLONBY. You have your looking-glass. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is unkind. It merely shows me my wrinkles. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Mine is better behaved. It never tells me the -truth. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Then it is in love with you. - -[Exeunt SIR JOHN, LADY STUTFIELD, MR. KELVIL and LORD ALFRED.] - -GERALD. [To LORD ILLINGWORTH] May I come too? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Do, my dear boy. [Moves towards with MRS. -ALLONBY and GERALD.] - -[LADY CAROLINE enters, looks rapidly round and goes off in opposite -direction to that taken by SIR JOHN and LADY STUTFIELD.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald! - -GERALD. What, mother! - -[Exit LORD ILLINGWORTH with MRS. ALLONBY.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It is getting late. Let us go home. - -GERALD. My dear mother. Do let us wait a little longer. Lord -Illingworth is so delightful, and, by the way, mother, I have a -great surprise for you. We are starting for India at the end of -this month. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Let us go home. - -GERALD. If you really want to, of course, mother, but I must bid -good-bye to Lord Illingworth first. I'll be back in five minutes. -[Exit.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Let him leave me if he chooses, but not with him - -not with him! I couldn't bear it. [Walks up and down.] - -[Enter HESTER.] - -HESTER. What a lovely night it is, Mrs. Arbuthnot. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Is it? - -HESTER. Mrs. Arbuthnot, I wish you would let us be friends. You -are so different from the other women here. When you came into the -Drawing-room this evening, somehow you brought with you a sense of -what is good and pure in life. I had been foolish. There are -things that are right to say, but that may be said at the wrong -time and to the wrong people. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I heard what you said. I agree with it, Miss -Worsley. - -HESTER. I didn't know you had heard it. But I knew you would -agree with me. A woman who has sinned should be punished, -shouldn't she? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Yes. - -HESTER. She shouldn't be allowed to come into the society of good -men and women? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. She should not. - -HESTER. And the man should be punished in the same way? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. In the same way. And the children, if there are -children, in the same way also? - -HESTER. Yes, it is right that the sins of the parents should be -visited on the children. It is a just law. It is God's law. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It is one of God's terrible laws. - -[Moves away to fireplace.] - -HESTER. You are distressed about your son leaving you, Mrs. -Arbuthnot? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Yes. - -HESTER. Do you like him going away with Lord Illingworth? Of -course there is position, no doubt, and money, but position and -money are not everything, are they? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. They are nothing; they bring misery. - -HESTER. Then why do you let your son go with him? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He wishes it himself. - -HESTER. But if you asked him he would stay, would he not? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He has set his heart on going. - -HESTER. He couldn't refuse you anything. He loves you too much. -Ask him to stay. Let me send him in to you. He is on the terrace -at this moment with Lord Illingworth. I heard them laughing -together as I passed through the Music-room. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Don't trouble, Miss Worsley, I can wait. It is of -no consequence. - -HESTER. No, I'll tell him you want him. Do - do ask him to stay. -[Exit HESTER.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He won't come - I know he won't come. - -[Enter LADY CAROLINE. She looks round anxiously. Enter GERALD.] - -LADY CAROLINE. Mr. Arbuthnot, may I ask you is Sir John anywhere -on the terrace? - -GERALD. No, Lady Caroline, he is not on the terrace. - -LADY CAROLINE. It is very curious. It is time for him to retire. - -[Exit LADY CAROLINE.] - -GERALD. Dear mother, I am afraid I kept you waiting. I forgot all -about it. I am so happy to-night, mother; I have never been so -happy. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. At the prospect of going away? - -GERALD. Don't put it like that, mother. Of course I am sorry to -leave you. Why, you are the best mother in the whole world. But -after all, as Lord Illingworth says, it is impossible to live in -such a place as Wrockley. You don't mind it. But I'm ambitions; I -want something more than that. I want to have a career. I want to -do something that will make you proud of me, and Lord Illingworth -is going to help me. He is going to do everything for me. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald, don't go away with Lord Illingworth. I -implore you not to. Gerald, I beg you! - -GERALD. Mother, how changeable you are! You don't seem to know -your own mind for a single moment. An hour and a half ago in the -Drawing-room you agreed to the whole thing; now you turn round and -make objections, and try to force me to give up my one chance in -life. Yes, my one chance. You don't suppose that men like Lord -Illingworth are to be found every day, do you, mother? It is very -strange that when I have had such a wonderful piece of good luck, -the one person to put difficulties in my way should be my own -mother. Besides, you know, mother, I love Hester Worsley. Who -could help loving her? I love her more than I have ever told you, -far more. And if I had a position, if I had prospects, I could - I -could ask her to - Don't you understand now, mother, what it means -to me to be Lord Illingworth's secretary? To start like that is to -find a career ready for one - before one - waiting for one. If I -were Lord Illingworth's secretary I could ask Hester to be my wife. -As a wretched bank clerk with a hundred a year it would be an -impertinence. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I fear you need have no hopes of Miss Worsley. I -know her views on life. She has just told them to me. [A pause.] - -GERALD. Then I have my ambition left, at any rate. That is -something - I am glad I have that! You have always tried to crush -my ambition, mother - haven't you? You have told me that the world -is a wicked place, that success is not worth having, that society -is shallow, and all that sort of thing - well, I don't believe it, -mother. I think the world must be delightful. I think society -must be exquisite. I think success is a thing worth having. You -have been wrong in all that you taught me, mother, quite wrong. -Lord Illingworth is a successful man. He is a fashionable man. He -is a man who lives in the world and for it. Well, I would give -anything to be just like Lord Illingworth. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I would sooner see you dead. - -GERALD. Mother, what is your objection to Lord Illingworth? Tell -me - tell me right out. What is it? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He is a bad man. - -GERALD. In what way bad? I don't understand what you mean. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will tell you. - -GERALD. I suppose you think him bad, because he doesn't believe -the same things as you do. Well, men are different from women, -mother. It is natural that they should have different views. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It is not what Lord Illingworth believes, or what -he does not believe, that makes him bad. It is what he is. - -GERALD. Mother, is it something you know of him? Something you -actually know? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It is something I know. - -GERALD. Something you are quite sure of? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Quite sure of. - -GERALD. How long have you known it? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. For twenty years. - -GERALD. Is it fair to go back twenty years in any man's career? -And what have you or I to do with Lord Illingworth's early life? -What business is it of ours? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. What this man has been, he is now, and will be -always. - -GERALD. Mother, tell me what Lord Illingworth did? If he did -anything shameful, I will not go away with him. Surely you know me -well enough for that? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald, come near to me. Quite close to me, as -you used to do when you were a little boy, when you were mother's -own boy. [GERALD sits down betide his mother. She runs her -fingers through his hair, and strokes his hands.] Gerald, there -was a girl once, she was very young, she was little over eighteen -at the time. George Harford - that was Lord Illingworth's name -then - George Harford met her. She knew nothing about life. He - -knew everything. He made this girl love him. He made her love him -so much that she left her father's house with him one morning. She -loved him so much, and he had promised to marry her! He had -solemnly promised to marry her, and she had believed him. She was -very young, and - and ignorant of what life really is. But he put -the marriage off from week to week, and month to month. - She -trusted in him all the while. She loved him. - Before her child -was born - for she had a child - she implored him for the child's -sake to marry her, that the child might have a name, that her sin -might not be visited on the child, who was innocent. He refused. -After the child was born she left him, taking the child away, and -her life was ruined, and her soul ruined, and all that was sweet, -and good, and pure in her ruined also. She suffered terribly - she -suffers now. She will always suffer. For her there is no joy, no -peace, no atonement. She is a woman who drags a chain like a -guilty thing. She is a woman who wears a mask, like a thing that -is a leper. The fire cannot purify her. The waters cannot quench -her anguish. Nothing can heal her! no anodyne can give her sleep! -no poppies forgetfulness! She is lost! She is a lost soul! - That -is why I call Lord Illingworth a bad man. That is why I don't want -my boy to be with him. - -GERALD. My dear mother, it all sounds very tragic, of course. But -I dare say the girl was just as much to blame as Lord Illingworth -was. - After all, would a really nice girl, a girl with any nice -feelings at all, go away from her home with a man to whom she was -not married, and live with him as his wife? No nice girl would. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [After a pause.] Gerald, I withdraw all my -objections. You are at liberty to go away with Lord Illingworth, -when and where you choose. - -GERALD. Dear mother, I knew you wouldn't stand in my way. You are -the best woman God ever made. And, as for Lord Illingworth, I -don't believe he is capable of anything infamous or base. I can't -believe it of him - I can't. - -HESTER. [Outside.] Let me go! Let me go! [Enter HESTER in -terror, and rushes over to GERALD and flings herself in his arms.] - -HESTER. Oh! save me - save me from him! - -GERALD. From whom? - -HESTER. He has insulted me! Horribly insulted me! Save me! - -GERALD. Who? Who has dared - ? - -[LORD ILLINGWORTH enters at back of stage. HESTER breaks from -GERALD'S arms and points to him.] - -GERALD [He is quite beside himself with rage and indignation.] -Lord Illingworth, you have insulted the purest thing on God's -earth, a thing as pure as my own mother. You have insulted the -woman I love most in the world with my own mother. As there is a -God in Heaven, I will kill you! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [Rushing across and catching hold of him] No! no! - -GERALD. [Thrusting her back.] Don't hold me, mother. Don't hold -me - I'll kill him! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald! - -GERALD. Let me go, I say! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Stop, Gerald, stop! He is your own father! - -[GERALD clutches his mother's hands and looks into her face. She -sinks slowly on the ground in shame. HESTER steals towards the -door. LORD ILLINGWORTH frowns and bites his lip. After a time -GERALD raises his mother up, puts his am round her, and leads her -from the room.] - -ACT DROP - - - -FOURTH ACT - - - -SCENE - -Sitting-room at Mrs. Arbuthnot's. Large open French window at -back, looking on to garden. Doors R.C. and L.C. - -[GERALD ARBUTHNOT writing at table.] - -[Enter ALICE R.C. followed by LADY HUNSTANTON and MRS. ALLONBY.] - -ALICE. Lady Hunstanton and Mrs. Allonby. - -[Exit L.C.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Good morning, Gerald. - -GERALD. [Rising.] Good morning, Lady Hunstanton. Good morning, -Mrs. Allonby. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [Sitting down.] We came to inquire for your dear -mother, Gerald. I hope she is better? - -GERALD. My mother has not come down yet, Lady Hunstanton. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, I am afraid the heat was too much for her -last night. I think there must have been thunder in the air. Or -perhaps it was the music. Music makes one feel so romantic - at -least it always gets on one's nerves. - -MRS. ALLONBY. It's the same thing, nowadays. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I am so glad I don't know what you mean, dear. I -am afraid you mean something wrong. Ah, I see you're examining -Mrs. Arbuthnot's pretty room. Isn't it nice and old-fashioned? - -MRS. ALLONBY. [Surveying the room through her lorgnette.] It -looks quite the happy English home. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. That's just the word, dear; that just describes -it. One feels your mother's good influence in everything she has -about her, Gerald. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Lord Illingworth says that all influence is bad, but -that a good influence is the worst in the world. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. When Lord Illingworth knows Mrs. Arbuthnot better -he will change his mind. I must certainly bring him here. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I should like to see Lord Illingworth in a happy -English home. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. It would do him a great deal of good, dear. Most -women in London, nowadays, seem to furnish their rooms with nothing -but orchids, foreigners, and French novels. But here we have the -room of a sweet saint. Fresh natural flowers, books that don't -shock one, pictures that one can look at without blushing. - -MRS. ALLONBY. But I like blushing. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, there IS a good deal to be said for -blushing, if one can do it at the proper moment. Poor dear -Hunstanton used to tell me I didn't blush nearly often enough. But -then he was so very particular. He wouldn't let me know any of his -men friends, except those who were over seventy, like poor Lord -Ashton: who afterwards, by the way, was brought into the Divorce -Court. A most unfortunate case. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I delight in men over seventy. They always offer -one the devotion of a lifetime. I think seventy an ideal age for a -man. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. She is quite incorrigible, Gerald, isn't she? -By-the-by, Gerald, I hope your dear mother will come and see me -more often now. You and Lord Illingworth start almost immediately, -don't you? - -GERALD. I have given up my intention of being Lord Illingworth's -secretary. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Surely not, Gerald! It would be most unwise of -you. What reason can you have? - -GERALD. I don't think I should be suitable for the post. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I wish Lord Illingworth would ask me to be his -secretary. But he says I am not serious enough. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear, you really mustn't talk like that in -this house. Mrs. Arbuthnot doesn't know anything about the wicked -society in which we all live. She won't go into it. She is far -too good. I consider it was a great honour her coming to me last -night. It gave quite an atmosphere of respectability to the party. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, that must have been what you thought was thunder -in the air. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear, how can you say that? There is no -resemblance between the two things at all. But really, Gerald, -what do you mean by not being suitable? - -GERALD. Lord Illingworth's views of life and mine are too -different. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. But, my dear Gerald, at your age you shouldn't -have any views of life. They are quite out of place. You must be -guided by others in this matter. Lord Illingworth has made you the -most flattering offer, and travelling with him you would see the -world - as much of it, at least, as one should look at - under the -best auspices possible, and stay with all the right people, which -is so important at this solemn moment in your career. - -GERALD. I don't want to see the world: I've seen enough of it. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I hope you don't think you have exhausted life, Mr. -Arbuthnot. When a man says that, one knows that life has exhausted -him. - -GERALD. I don't wish to leave my mother. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Now, Gerald, that is pure laziness on your part. -Not leave your mother! If I were your mother I would insist on -your going. - -[Enter ALICE L.C.] - -ALICE. Mrs. Arbuthnot's compliments, my lady, but she has a bad -headache, and cannot see any one this morning. [Exit R.C.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [Rising.] A bad headache! I am so sorry! -Perhaps you'll bring her up to Hunstanton this afternoon, if she is -better, Gerald. - -GERALD. I am afraid not this afternoon, Lady Hunstanton. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, to-morrow, then. Ah, if you had a father, -Gerald, he wouldn't let you waste your life here. He would send -you off with Lord Illingworth at once. But mothers are so weak. -They give up to their sons in everything. We are all heart, all -heart. Come, dear, I must call at the rectory and inquire for Mrs. -Daubeny, who, I am afraid, is far from well. It is wonderful how -the Archdeacon bears up, quite wonderful. He is the most -sympathetic of husbands. Quite a model. Good-bye, Gerald, give my -fondest love to your mother. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Good-bye, Mr. Arbuthnot. - -GERALD. Good-bye. - -[Exit LADY HUNSTANTON and MRS. ALLONBY. GERALD sits down and reads -over his letter.] - -GERALD. What name can I sign? I, who have no right to any name. -[Signs name, puts letter into envelope, addresses it, and is about -to seal it, when door L.C. opens and MRS. ARBUTHNOT enters. GERALD -lays down sealing-wax. Mother and son look at each other.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [Through French window at the back.] Good-bye -again, Gerald. We are taking the short cut across your pretty -garden. Now, remember my advice to you - start at once with Lord -Illingworth. - -MRS. ALLONBY. AU REVOIR, Mr. Arbuthnot. Mind you bring me back -something nice from your travels - not an Indian shawl - on no -account an Indian shawl. - -[Exeunt.] - -GERALD. Mother, I have just written to him. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. To whom? - -GERALD. To my father. I have written to tell him to come here at -four o'clock this afternoon. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He shall not come here. He shall not cross the -threshold of my house. - -GERALD. He must come. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald, if you are going away with Lord -Illingworth, go at once. Go before it kills me: but don't ask me -to meet him. - -GERALD. Mother, you don't understand. Nothing in the world would -induce me to go away with Lord Illingworth, or to leave you. -Surely you know me well enough for that. No: I have written to him -to say - - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. What can you have to say to him? - -GERALD. Can't you guess, mother, what I have written in this -letter? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. No. - -GERALD. Mother, surely you can. Think, think what must be done, -now, at once, within the next few days. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. There is nothing to be done. - -GERALD. I have written to Lord Illingworth to tell him that he -must marry you. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Marry me? - -GERALD. Mother, I will force him to do it. The wrong that has -been done you must be repaired. Atonement must be made. Justice -may be slow, mother, but it comes in the end. In a few days you -shall be Lord Illingworth's lawful wife. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. But, Gerald - - -GERALD. I will insist upon his doing it. I will make him do it: -he will not dare to refuse. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. But, Gerald, it is I who refuse. I will not marry -Lord Illingworth. - -GERALD. Not marry him? Mother! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will not marry him. - -GERALD. But you don't understand: it is for your sake I am -talking, not for mine. This marriage, this necessary marriage, -this marriage which for obvious reasons must inevitably take place, -will not help me, will not give me a name that will be really, -rightly mine to bear. But surely it will be something for you, -that you, my mother, should, however late, become the wife of the -man who is my father. Will not that be something? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will not marry him. - -GERALD. Mother, you must. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will not. You talk of atonement for a wrong -done. What atonement can be made to me? There is no atonement -possible. I am disgraced: he is not. That is all. It is the -usual history of a man and a woman as it usually happens, as it -always happens. And the ending is the ordinary ending. The woman -suffers. The man goes free. - -GERALD. I don't know if that is the ordinary ending, mother: I -hope it is not. But your life, at any rate, shall not end like -that. The man shall make whatever reparation is possible. It is -not enough. It does not wipe out the past, I know that. But at -least it makes the future better, better for you, mother. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I refuse to marry Lord Illingworth. - -GERALD. If he came to you himself and asked you to be his wife you -would give him a different answer. Remember, he is my father. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. If he came himself, which he will not do, my -answer would be the same. Remember I am your mother. - -GERALD. Mother, you make it terribly difficult for me by talking -like that; and I can't understand why you won't look at this matter -from the right, from the only proper standpoint. It is to take -away the bitterness out of your life, to take away the shadow that -lies on your name, that this marriage must take place. There is no -alternative: and after the marriage you and I can go away together. -But the marriage must take place first. It is a duty that you owe, -not merely to yourself, but to all other women - yes: to all the -other women in the world, lest he betray more. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I owe nothing to other women. There is not one of -them to help me. There is not one woman in the world to whom I -could go for pity, if I would take it, or for sympathy, if I could -win it. Women are hard on each other. That girl, last night, good -though she is, fled from the room as though I were a tainted thing. -She was right. I am a tainted thing. But my wrongs are my own, -and I will bear them alone. I must bear them alone. What have -women who have not sinned to do with me, or I with them? We do not -understand each other. - -[Enter HESTER behind.] - -GERALD. I implore you to do what I ask you. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. What son has ever asked of his mother to make so -hideous a sacrifice? None. - -GERALD. What mother has ever refused to marry the father of her -own child? None. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Let me be the first, then. I will not do it. - -GERALD. Mother, you believe in religion, and you brought me up to -believe in it also. Well, surely your religion, the religion that -you taught me when I was a boy, mother, must tell you that I am -right. You know it, you feel it. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I do not know it. I do not feel it, nor will I -ever stand before God's altar and ask God's blessing on so hideous -a mockery as a marriage between me and George Harford. I will not -say the words the Church bids us to say. I will not say them. I -dare not. How could I swear to love the man I loathe, to honour -him who wrought you dishonour, to obey him who, in his mastery, -made me to sin? No: marriage is a sacrament for those who love -each other. It is not for such as him, or such as me. Gerald, to -save you from the world's sneers and taunts I have lied to the -world. For twenty years I have lied to the world. I could not -tell the world the truth. Who can, ever? But not for my own sake -will I lie to God, and in God's presence. No, Gerald, no ceremony, -Church-hallowed or State-made, shall ever bind me to George -Harford. It may be that I am too bound to him already, who, -robbing me, yet left me richer, so that in the mire of my life I -found the pearl of price, or what I thought would be so. - -GERALD. I don't understand you now. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Men don't understand what mothers are. I am no -different from other women except in the wrong done me and the -wrong I did, and my very heavy punishments and great disgrace. And -yet, to bear you I had to look on death. To nurture you I had to -wrestle with it. Death fought with me for you. All women have to -fight with death to keep their children. Death, being childless, -wants our children from us. Gerald, when you were naked I clothed -you, when you were hungry I gave you food. Night and day all that -long winter I tended you. No office is too mean, no care too lowly -for the thing we women love - and oh! how I loved YOU. Not Hannah, -Samuel more. And you needed love, for you were weakly, and only -love could have kept you alive. Only love can keep any one alive. -And boys are careless often and without thinking give pain, and we -always fancy that when they come to man's estate and know us better -they will repay us. But it is not so. The world draws them from -our side, and they make friends with whom they are happier than -they are with us, and have amusements from which we are barred, and -interests that are not ours: and they are unjust to us often, for -when they find life bitter they blame us for it, and when they find -it sweet we do not taste its sweetness with them . . . You made -many friends and went into their houses and were glad with them, -and I, knowing my secret, did not dare to follow, but stayed at -home and closed the door, shut out the sun and sat in darkness. -What should I have done in honest households? My past was ever -with me. . . . And you thought I didn't care for the pleasant -things of life. I tell you I longed for them, but did not dare to -touch them, feeling I had no right. You thought I was happier -working amongst the poor. That was my mission, you imagined. It -was not, but where else was I to go? The sick do not ask if the -hand that smooths their pillow is pure, nor the dying care if the -lips that touch their brow have known the kiss of sin. It was you -I thought of all the time; I gave to them the love you did not -need: lavished on them a love that was not theirs . . . And you -thought I spent too much of my time in going to Church, and in -Church duties. But where else could I turn? God's house is the -only house where sinners are made welcome, and you were always in -my heart, Gerald, too much in my heart. For, though day after day, -at morn or evensong, I have knelt in God's house, I have never -repented of my sin. How could I repent of my sin when you, my -love, were its fruit! Even now that you are bitter to me I cannot -repent. I do not. You are more to me than innocence. I would -rather be your mother - oh! much rather! - than have been always -pure . . . Oh, don't you see? don't you understand? It is my -dishonour that has made you so dear to me. It is my disgrace that -has bound you so closely to me. It is the price I paid for you - -the price of soul and body - that makes me love you as I do. Oh, -don't ask me to do this horrible thing. Child of my shame, be -still the child of my shame! - -GERALD. Mother, I didn't know you loved me so much as that. And I -will be a better son to you than I have been. And you and I must -never leave each other . . . but, mother . . . I can't help it . . -. you must become my father's wife. You must marry him. It is -your duty. - -HESTER. [Running forwards and embracing MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] No, no; -you shall not. That would be real dishonour, the first you have -ever known. That would be real disgrace: the first to touch you. -Leave him and come with me. There are other countries than England -. . . Oh! other countries over sea, better, wiser, and less unjust -lands. The world is very wide and very big. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. No, not for me. For me the world is shrivelled to -a palm's breadth, and where I walk there are thorns. - -HESTER. It shall not be so. We shall somewhere find green valleys -and fresh waters, and if we weep, well, we shall weep together. -Have we not both loved him? - -GERALD. Hester! - -HESTER. [Waving him back.] Don't, don't! You cannot love me at -all, unless you love her also. You cannot honour me, unless she's -holier to you. In her all womanhood is martyred. Not she alone, -but all of us are stricken in her house. - -GERALD. Hester, Hester, what shall I do? - -HESTER. Do you respect the man who is your father? - -GERALD. Respect him? I despise him! He is infamous. - -HESTER. I thank you for saving me from him last night. - -GERALD. Ah, that is nothing. I would die to save you. But you -don't tell me what to do now! - -HESTER. Have I not thanked you for saving ME? - -GERALD. But what should I do? - -HESTER. Ask your own heart, not mine. I never had a mother to -save, or shame. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He is hard - he is hard. Let me go away. - -GERALD. [Rushes over and kneels down bedside his mother.] Mother, -forgive me: I have been to blame. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Don't kiss my hands: they are cold. My heart is -cold: something has broken it. - -HESTER, Ah, don't say that. Hearts live by being wounded. -Pleasure may turn a heart to stone, riches may make it callous, but -sorrow - oh, sorrow cannot break it. Besides, what sorrows have -you now? Why, at this moment you are more dear to him than ever, -DEAR though you have BEEN, and oh! how dear you HAVE been always. -Ah! be kind to him. - -GERALD. You are my mother and my father all in one. I need no -second parent. It was for you I spoke, for you alone. Oh, say -something, mother. Have I but found one love to lose another? -Don't tell me that. O mother, you are cruel. [Gets up and flings -himself sobbing on a sofa.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [To HESTER.] But has he found indeed another -love? - -HESTER. You know I have loved him always. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. But we are very poor. - -HESTER. Who, being loved, is poor? Oh, no one. I hate my riches. -They are a burden. Let him share it with me. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. But we are disgraced. We rank among the outcasts -Gerald is nameless. The sins of the parents should be visited on -the children. It is God's law. - -HESTER. I was wrong. God's law is only Love. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [Rises, and taking HESTER by the hand, goes slowly -over to where GERALD is lying on the sofa with his head buried in -his hands. She touches him and he looks up.] Gerald, I cannot -give you a father, but I have brought you a wife. - -GERALD. Mother, I am not worthy either of her or you. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. So she comes first, you are worthy. And when you -are away, Gerald . . . with . . . her - oh, think of me sometimes. -Don't forget me. And when you pray, pray for me. We should pray -when we are happiest, and you will be happy, Gerald. - -HESTER. Oh, you don't think of leaving us? - -GERALD. Mother, you won't leave us? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I might bring shame upon you! - -GERALD. Mother! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. For a little then: and if you let me, near you -always. - -HESTER. [To MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] Come out with us to the garden. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Later on, later on. [Exeunt HESTER and GERALD. -MRS. ARBUTHNOT goes towards door L.C. Stops at looking-glass over -mantelpiece and looks into it. Enter ALICE R.C.] - -ALICE. A gentleman to see you, ma'am. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Say I am not at home. Show me the card. [Takes -card from salver and looks at it.] Say I will not see him. - -[LORD ILLINGWORTH enters. MRS. ARBUTHNOT sees him in the glass and -starts, but does not turn round. Exit ALICE.] What can you have -to say to me to-day, George Harford? You can have nothing to say -to me. You must leave this house. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Rachel, Gerald knows everything about you and me -now, so some arrangement must be come to that will suit us all -three. I assure you, he will find in me the most charming and -generous of fathers. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. My son may come in at any moment. I saved you -last night. I may not be able to save you again. My son feels my -dishonour strongly, terribly strongly. I beg you to go. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. [Sitting down.] Last night was excessively -unfortunate. That silly Puritan girl making a scene merely because -I wanted to kiss her. What harm is there in a kiss? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [Turning round.] A kiss may ruin a human life, -George Harford. I know that. I know that too well. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. We won't discuss that at present. What is of -importance to-day, as yesterday, is still our son. I am extremely -fond of him, as you know, and odd though it may seem to you, I -admired his conduct last night immensely. He took up the cudgels -for that pretty prude with wonderful promptitude. He is just what -I should have liked a son of mine to be. Except that no son of -mine should ever take the side of the Puritans: that is always an -error. Now, what I propose is this. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Lord Illingworth, no proposition of yours -interests me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. According to our ridiculous English laws, I -can't legitimise Gerald. But I can leave him my property. -Illingworth is entailed, of course, but it is a tedious barrack of -a place. He can have Ashby, which is much prettier, Harborough, -which has the best shooting in the north of England, and the house -in St. James Square. What more can a gentleman require in this -world? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Nothing more, I am quite sure. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. As for a title, a title is really rather a -nuisance in these democratic days. As George Harford I had -everything I wanted. Now I have merely everything that other -people want, which isn't nearly so pleasant. Well, my proposal is -this. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I told you I was not interested, and I beg you to -go. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. The boy is to be with you for six months in the -year, and with me for the other six. That is perfectly fair, is it -not? You can have whatever allowance you like, and live where you -choose. As for your past, no one knows anything about it except -myself and Gerald. There is the Puritan, of course, the Puritan in -white muslin, but she doesn't count. She couldn't tell the story -without explaining that she objected to being kissed, could she? -And all the women would think her a fool and the men think her a -bore. And you need not be afraid that Gerald won't be my heir. I -needn't tell you I have not the slightest intention of marrying. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. You come too late. My son has no need of you. -You are not necessary. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What do you mean, Rachel? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. That you are not necessary to Gerald's career. He -does not require you. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I do not understand you. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Look into the garden. [LORD ILLINGWORTH rises and -goes towards window.] You had better not let them see you: you -bring unpleasant memories. [LORD ILLINGWORTH looks out and -starts.] She loves him. They love each other. We are safe from -you, and we are going away. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Where? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. We will not tell you, and if you find us we will -not know you. You seem surprised. What welcome would you get from -the girl whose lips you tried to soil, from the boy whose life you -have shamed, from the mother whose dishonour comes from you? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You have grown hard, Rachel. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I was too weak once. It is well for me that I -have changed. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I was very young at the time. We men know life -too early. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. And we women know life too late. That is the -difference between men and women. [A pause.] - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Rachel, I want my son. My money may be of no -use to him now. I may be of no use to him, but I want my son. -Bring us together, Rachel. You can do it if you choose. [Sees -letter on table.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. There is no room in my boy's life for you. He is -not interested in YOU. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Then why does he write to me? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. What do you mean? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What letter is this? [Takes up letter.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. That - is nothing. Give it to me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is addressed to ME. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. You are not to open it. I forbid you to open it. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. And in Gerald's handwriting. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It was not to have been sent. It is a letter he -wrote to you this morning, before he saw me. But he is sorry now -he wrote it, very sorry. You are not to open it. Give it to me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It belongs to me. [Opens it, sits down and -reads it slowly. MRS. ARBUTHNOT watches him all the time.] You -have read this letter, I suppose, Rachel? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. No. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You know what is in it? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Yes! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I don't admit for a moment that the boy is right -in what he says. I don't admit that it is any duty of mine to -marry you. I deny it entirely. But to get my son back I am ready -- yes, I am ready to marry you, Rachel - and to treat you always -with the deference and respect due to my wife. I will marry you as -soon as you choose. I give you my word of honour. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. You made that promise to me once before and broke -it. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I will keep it now. And that will show you that -I love my son, at least as much as you love him. For when I marry -you, Rachel, there are some ambitions I shall have to surrender. -High ambitions, too, if any ambition is high. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I decline to marry you, Lord Illingworth. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Are you serious? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Yes. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Do tell me your reasons. They would interest me -enormously. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have already explained them to my son. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I suppose they were intensely sentimental, -weren't they? You women live by your emotions and for them. You -have no philosophy of life. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. You are right. We women live by our emotions and -for them. By our passions, and for them, if you will. I have two -passions, Lord Illingworth: my love of him, my hate of you. You -cannot kill those. They feed each other. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What sort of love is that which needs to have -hate as its brother? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It is the sort of love I have for Gerald. Do you -think that terrible? Well it is terrible. All love is terrible. -All love is a tragedy. I loved you once, Lord Illingworth. Oh, -what a tragedy for a woman to have loved you! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. So you really refuse to marry me? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Yes. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Because you hate me? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Yes. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. And does my son hate me as you do? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. No. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I am glad of that, Rachel. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He merely despises you. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What a pity! What a pity for him, I mean. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Don't be deceived, George. Children begin by -loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely if -ever do they forgive them. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. [Reads letter over again, very slowly.] May I -ask by what arguments you made the boy who wrote this letter, this -beautiful, passionate letter, believe that you should not marry his -father, the father of your own child? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It was not I who made him see it. It was another. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What FIN-DE-SIECLE person? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. The Puritan, Lord Illingworth. [A pause.] - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. [Winces, then rises slowly and goes over to -table where his hat and gloves are. MRS. ARBUTHNOT is standing -close to the table. He picks up one of the gloves, and begins -pulling it on.] There is not much then for me to do here, Rachel? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Nothing. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is good-bye, is it? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. For ever, I hope, this time, Lord Illingworth. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. How curious! At this moment you look exactly as -you looked the night you left me twenty years ago. You have just -the same expression in your mouth. Upon my word, Rachel, no woman -ever loved me as you did. Why, you gave yourself to me like a -flower, to do anything I liked with. You were the prettiest of -playthings, the most fascinating of small romances . . . [Pulls out -watch.] Quarter to two! Must be strolling back to Hunstanton. -Don't suppose I shall see you there again. I'm sorry, I am, -really. It's been an amusing experience to have met amongst people -of one's own rank, and treated quite seriously too, one's mistress, -and one's - - -[MRS. ARBUTHNOT snatches up glove and strikes LORD ILLINGWORTH -across the face with it. LORD ILLINGWORTH starts. He is dazed by -the insult of his punishment. Then he controls himself, and goes -to window and looks out at his son. Sighs and leaves the room.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [Falls sobbing on the sofa.] He would have said -it. He would have said it. - -[Enter GERALD and HESTER from the garden.] - -GERALD. Well, dear mother. You never came out after all. So we -have come in to fetch you. Mother, you have not been crying? -[Kneels down beside her.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. My boy! My boy! My boy! [Running her fingers -through his hair.] - -HESTER. [Coming over.] But you have two children now. You'll let -me be your daughter? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [Looking up.] Would you choose me for a mother? - -HESTER. You of all women I have ever known. - -[They move towards the door leading into garden with their arms -round each other's waists. GERALD goes to table L.C. for his hat. -On turning round he sees LORD ILLINGWORTH'S glove lying on the -floor, and picks it up.] - -GERALD. Hallo, mother, whose glove is this? You have had a -visitor. Who was it? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [Turning round.] Oh! no one. No one in -particular. A man of no importance. - -CURTAIN - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg eText A Woman of No Importance - diff --git a/old/awoni10.zip b/old/awoni10.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 49fc642..0000000 --- a/old/awoni10.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/old-2025-03-14/854-0.txt b/old/old-2025-03-14/854-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 14ce837..0000000 --- a/old/old-2025-03-14/854-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3655 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Woman of No Importance, by Oscar Wilde - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: A Woman of No Importance - A Play - -Author: Oscar Wilde - -Release Date: March 20, 1997 [eBook #854] -[Most recently updated: June 7, 2021] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: David Price - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE *** - - - - - A WOMAN OF - NO IMPORTANCE - - - A PLAY - - BY - OSCAR WILDE - - * * * * * - - METHUEN & CO., LTD. - 36 ESSEX STREET W.C. - LONDON - - _Eighth Edition_ - - * * * * * - -_First Printed_ _1894_ -_First Issued by Methuen and Co._ (_Limited _February_ _1908_ -Editions on Handmade Paper and Japanese -Vellum_) -_Third Edition_ _September_ _1909_ -_Fourth Edition_ _May_ _1910_ -_Fifth Edition_ _December_ _1911_ -_Sixth Edition_ _March_ _1913_ -_Seventh Edition_ (_Cheap Form_) _October_ _1916_ -_Eighth Edition_ _1919_ - -_The dramatic rights of_ ‘_A Woman of No Importance_’ _belong to Sir -Herbert Beerbohm Tree and to Robert Ross_, _executor and administrator of -Oscar Wilde’s estate_. - - * * * * * - - TO - GLADYS - COUNTESS DE GREY - - [MARCHIONESS OF RIPON] - - * * * * * - - - - -THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY - - -LORD ILLINGWORTH - -SIR JOHN PONTEFRACT - -LORD ALFRED RUFFORD - -MR. KELVIL, M.P. - -THE VEN. ARCHDEACON DAUBENY, D.D. - -GERALD ARBUTHNOT - -FARQUHAR, Butler - -FRANCIS, Footman - - * * * * * - -LADY HUNSTANTON - -LADY CAROLINE PONTEFRACT - -LADY STUTFIELD - -MRS. ALLONBY - -MISS HESTER WORSLEY - -ALICE, Maid - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT - - - - -THE SCENES OF THE PLAY - - -ACT I. _The Terrace at Hunstanton Chase_. - -ACT II. _The Drawing-room at Hunstanton Chase_. - -ACT III. _The Hall at Hunstanton Chase_. - -ACT IV. _Sitting-room in Mrs. Arbuthnot’s House at Wrockley_. - -TIME: _The Present_. - -PLACE: _The Shires_. - - _The action of the play takes place within twenty-four hours_. - - - - -LONDON: HAYMARKET THEATRE - - - _Lessee and Manager_: _Mr. H Beerbohm Tree_ - _April_ 19_th_, 1893 - -LORD ILLINGWORTH _Mr. Tree_. -SIR JOHN PONTEFRACT _Mr. E. Holman Clark_. -LORD ALFRED RUFFORD _Mr. Ernest Lawford_. -MR. KELVIL, M.P. _Mr. Charles Allan_. -THE VEN. ARCHDEACON DAUBENY, D.D. _Mr. Kemble_. -GERALD ARBUTHNOT _Mr. Terry_. -FARQUHAR (_Butler_) _Mr. Hay_. -FRANCIS (_Footman_) _Mr. Montague_. -LADY HUNSTANTON _Miss Rose Leclercq_. -LADY CAROLINE PONTEFRACT _Miss Le Thière_. -LADY STUTFIELD _Miss Blanche Horlock_. -MRS. ALLONBY _Mrs. Tree_. -MISS HESTER WORSLEY _Miss Julia Neilson_. -ALICE (_Maid_) _Miss Kelly_. -MRS. ARBUTHNOT _Mrs. Bernard-Beere_. - -FIRST ACT - - - SCENE - - _Lawn in front of the terrace at Hunstanton_. - -[SIR JOHN _and_ LADY CAROLINE PONTEFRACT, MISS WORSLEY, _on chairs under -large yew tree_.] - -LADY CAROLINE. I believe this is the first English country house you -have stayed at, Miss Worsley? - -HESTER. Yes, Lady Caroline. - -LADY CAROLINE. You have no country houses, I am told, in America? - -HESTER. We have not many. - -LADY CAROLINE. Have you any country? What we should call country? - -HESTER. [_Smiling_.] We have the largest country in the world, Lady -Caroline. They used to tell us at school that some of our states are as -big as France and England put together. - -LADY CAROLINE. Ah! you must find it very draughty, I should fancy. -[_To_ SIR JOHN.] John, you should have your muffler. What is the use of -my always knitting mufflers for you if you won’t wear them? - -SIR JOHN. I am quite warm, Caroline, I assure you. - -LADY CAROLINE. I think not, John. Well, you couldn’t come to a more -charming place than this, Miss Worsley, though the house is excessively -damp, quite unpardonably damp, and dear Lady Hunstanton is sometimes a -little lax about the people she asks down here. [_To_ SIR JOHN.] Jane -mixes too much. Lord Illingworth, of course, is a man of high -distinction. It is a privilege to meet him. And that member of -Parliament, Mr. Kettle— - -SIR JOHN. Kelvil, my love, Kelvil. - -LADY CAROLINE. He must be quite respectable. One has never heard his -name before in the whole course of one’s life, which speaks volumes for a -man, nowadays. But Mrs. Allonby is hardly a very suitable person. - -HESTER. I dislike Mrs. Allonby. I dislike her more than I can say. - -LADY CAROLINE. I am not sure, Miss Worsley, that foreigners like -yourself should cultivate likes or dislikes about the people they are -invited to meet. Mrs. Allonby is very well born. She is a niece of Lord -Brancaster’s. It is said, of course, that she ran away twice before she -was married. But you know how unfair people often are. I myself don’t -believe she ran away more than once. - -HESTER. Mr. Arbuthnot is very charming. - -LADY CAROLINE. Ah, yes! the young man who has a post in a bank. Lady -Hunstanton is most kind in asking him here, and Lord Illingworth seems to -have taken quite a fancy to him. I am not sure, however, that Jane is -right in taking him out of his position. In my young days, Miss Worsley, -one never met any one in society who worked for their living. It was not -considered the thing. - -HESTER. In America those are the people we respect most. - -LADY CAROLINE. I have no doubt of it. - -HESTER. Mr. Arbuthnot has a beautiful nature! He is so simple, so -sincere. He has one of the most beautiful natures I have ever come -across. It is a privilege to meet _him_. - -LADY CAROLINE. It is not customary in England, Miss Worsley, for a young -lady to speak with such enthusiasm of any person of the opposite sex. -English women conceal their feelings till after they are married. They -show them then. - -HESTER. Do you, in England, allow no friendship to exist between a young -man and a young girl? - -[_Enter_ LADY HUNSTANTON, _followed by Footman with shawls and a -cushion_.] - -LADY CAROLINE. We think it very inadvisable. Jane, I was just saying -what a pleasant party you have asked us to meet. You have a wonderful -power of selection. It is quite a gift. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Dear Caroline, how kind of you! I think we all do fit -in very nicely together. And I hope our charming American visitor will -carry back pleasant recollections of our English country life. [_To -Footman_.] The cushion, there, Francis. And my shawl. The Shetland. -Get the Shetland. [_Exit Footman for shawl_.] - -[_Enter_ GERALD ARBUTHNOT.] - -GERALD. Lady Hunstanton, I have such good news to tell you. Lord -Illingworth has just offered to make me his secretary. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. His secretary? That is good news indeed, Gerald. It -means a very brilliant future in store for you. Your dear mother will be -delighted. I really must try and induce her to come up here to-night. -Do you think she would, Gerald? I know how difficult it is to get her to -go anywhere. - -GERALD. Oh! I am sure she would, Lady Hunstanton, if she knew Lord -Illingworth had made me such an offer. - -[_Enter Footman with shawl_.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I will write and tell her about it, and ask her to come -up and meet him. [_To Footman_.] Just wait, Francis. [_Writes -letter_.] - -LADY CAROLINE. That is a very wonderful opening for so young a man as -you are, Mr. Arbuthnot. - -GERALD. It is indeed, Lady Caroline. I trust I shall be able to show -myself worthy of it. - -LADY CAROLINE. I trust so. - -GERALD. [_To_ HESTER.] _You_ have not congratulated me yet, Miss -Worsley. - -HESTER. Are you very pleased about it? - -GERALD. Of course I am. It means everything to me—things that were out -of the reach of hope before may be within hope’s reach now. - -HESTER. Nothing should be out of the reach of hope. Life is a hope. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I fancy, Caroline, that Diplomacy is what Lord -Illingworth is aiming at. I heard that he was offered Vienna. But that -may not be true. - -LADY CAROLINE. I don’t think that England should be represented abroad -by an unmarried man, Jane. It might lead to complications. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You are too nervous, Caroline. Believe me, you are too -nervous. Besides, Lord Illingworth may marry any day. I was in hopes he -would have married lady Kelso. But I believe he said her family was too -large. Or was it her feet? I forget which. I regret it very much. She -was made to be an ambassador’s wife. - -LADY CAROLINE. She certainly has a wonderful faculty of remembering -people’s names, and forgetting their faces. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, that is very natural, Caroline, is it not? [_To -Footman_.] Tell Henry to wait for an answer. I have written a line to -your dear mother, Gerald, to tell her your good news, and to say she -really must come to dinner. - -[_Exit Footman_.] - -GERALD. That is awfully kind of you, Lady Hunstanton. [_To_ HESTER.] -Will you come for a stroll, Miss Worsley? - -HESTER. With pleasure. [_Exit with_ GERALD.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I am very much gratified at Gerald Arbuthnot’s good -fortune. He is quite a _protégé_ of mine. And I am particularly pleased -that Lord Illingworth should have made the offer of his own accord -without my suggesting anything. Nobody likes to be asked favours. I -remember poor Charlotte Pagden making herself quite unpopular one season, -because she had a French governess she wanted to recommend to every one. - -LADY CAROLINE. I saw the governess, Jane. Lady Pagden sent her to me. -It was before Eleanor came out. She was far too good-looking to be in -any respectable household. I don’t wonder Lady Pagden was so anxious to -get rid of her. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, that explains it. - -LADY CAROLINE. John, the grass is too damp for you. You had better go -and put on your overshoes at once. - -SIR JOHN. I am quite comfortable, Caroline, I assure you. - -LADY CAROLINE. You must allow me to be the best judge of that, John. -Pray do as I tell you. - -[SIR JOHN _gets up and goes off_.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You spoil him, Caroline, you do indeed! - -[_Enter_ MRS. ALLONBY _and_ LADY STUTFIELD.] - -[_To_ MRS. ALLONBY.] Well, dear, I hope you like the park. It is said -to be well timbered. - -MRS. ALLONBY. The trees are wonderful, Lady Hunstanton. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Quite, quite wonderful. - -MRS. ALLONBY. But somehow, I feel sure that if I lived in the country -for six months, I should become so unsophisticated that no one would take -the slightest notice of me. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I assure you, dear, that the country has not that -effect at all. Why, it was from Melthorpe, which is only two miles from -here, that Lady Belton eloped with Lord Fethersdale. I remember the -occurrence perfectly. Poor Lord Belton died three days afterwards of -joy, or gout. I forget which. We had a large party staying here at the -time, so we were all very much interested in the whole affair. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I think to elope is cowardly. It’s running away from -danger. And danger has become so rare in modern life. - -LADY CAROLINE. As far as I can make out, the young women of the present -day seem to make it the sole object of their lives to be always playing -with fire. - -MRS. ALLONBY. The one advantage of playing with fire, Lady Caroline, is -that one never gets even singed. It is the people who don’t know how to -play with it who get burned up. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes; I see that. It is very, very helpful. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I don’t know how the world would get on with such a -theory as that, dear Mrs. Allonby. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Ah! The world was made for men and not for women. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, don’t say that, Lady Stutfield. We have a much better -time than they have. There are far more things forbidden to us than are -forbidden to them. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes; that is quite, quite true. I had not thought of -that. - -[_Enter_ SIR JOHN _and_ MR. KELVIL.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, Mr. Kelvil, have you got through your work? - -KELVIL. I have finished my writing for the day, Lady Hunstanton. It has -been an arduous task. The demands on the time of a public man are very -heavy nowadays, very heavy indeed. And I don’t think they meet with -adequate recognition. - -LADY CAROLINE. John, have you got your overshoes on? - -SIR JOHN. Yes, my love. - -LADY CAROLINE. I think you had better come over here, John. It is more -sheltered. - -SIR JOHN. I am quite comfortable, Caroline. - -LADY CAROLINE. I think not, John. You had better sit beside me. [SIR -JOHN _rises and goes across_.] - -LADY STUTFIELD. And what have you been writing about this morning, Mr. -Kelvil? - -KELVIL. On the usual subject, Lady Stutfield. On Purity. - -LADY STUTFIELD. That must be such a very, very interesting thing to -write about. - -KELVIL. It is the one subject of really national importance, nowadays, -Lady Stutfield. I purpose addressing my constituents on the question -before Parliament meets. I find that the poorer classes of this country -display a marked desire for a higher ethical standard. - -LADY STUTFIELD. How quite, quite nice of them. - -LADY CAROLINE. Are you in favour of women taking part in politics, Mr. -Kettle? - -SIR JOHN. Kelvil, my love, Kelvil. - -KELVIL. The growing influence of women is the one reassuring thing in -our political life, Lady Caroline. Women are always on the side of -morality, public and private. - -LADY STUTFIELD. It is so very, very gratifying to hear you say that. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, yes!—the moral qualities in women—that is the -important thing. I am afraid, Caroline, that dear Lord Illingworth -doesn’t value the moral qualities in women as much as he should. - -[_Enter_ LORD ILLINGWORTH.] - -LADY STUTFIELD. The world says that Lord Illingworth is very, very -wicked. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. But what world says that, Lady Stutfield? It must be -the next world. This world and I are on excellent terms. [_Sits down -beside_ MRS. ALLONBY.] - -LADY STUTFIELD. Every one _I_ know says you are very, very wicked. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, -nowadays, saying things against one behind one’s back that are absolutely -and entirely true. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Dear Lord Illingworth is quite hopeless, Lady -Stutfield. I have given up trying to reform him. It would take a Public -Company with a Board of Directors and a paid Secretary to do that. But -you have the secretary already, Lord Illingworth, haven’t you? Gerald -Arbuthnot has told us of his good fortune; it is really most kind of you. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Oh, don’t say that, Lady Hunstanton. Kind is a -dreadful word. I took a great fancy to young Arbuthnot the moment I met -him, and he’ll be of considerable use to me in something I am foolish -enough to think of doing. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. He is an admirable young man. And his mother is one of -my dearest friends. He has just gone for a walk with our pretty -American. She is very pretty, is she not? - -LADY CAROLINE. Far too pretty. These American girls carry off all the -good matches. Why can’t they stay in their own country? They are always -telling us it is the Paradise of women. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is, Lady Caroline. That is why, like Eve, they are -so extremely anxious to get out of it. - -LADY CAROLINE. Who are Miss Worsley’s parents? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. American women are wonderfully clever in concealing -their parents. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear Lord Illingworth, what do you mean? Miss -Worsley, Caroline, is an orphan. Her father was a very wealthy -millionaire or philanthropist, or both, I believe, who entertained my son -quite hospitably, when he visited Boston. I don’t know how he made his -money, originally. - -KELVIL. I fancy in American dry goods. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. What are American dry goods? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. American novels. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. How very singular! . . . Well, from whatever source her -large fortune came, I have a great esteem for Miss Worsley. She dresses -exceedingly well. All Americans do dress well. They get their clothes -in Paris. - -MRS. ALLONBY. They say, Lady Hunstanton, that when good Americans die -they go to Paris. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Indeed? And when bad Americans die, where do they go -to? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Oh, they go to America. - -KELVIL. I am afraid you don’t appreciate America, Lord Illingworth. It -is a very remarkable country, especially considering its youth. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It -has been going on now for three hundred years. To hear them talk one -would imagine they were in their first childhood. As far as civilisation -goes they are in their second. - -KELVIL. There is undoubtedly a great deal of corruption in American -politics. I suppose you allude to that? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I wonder. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Politics are in a sad way everywhere, I am told. They -certainly are in England. Dear Mr. Cardew is ruining the country. I -wonder Mrs. Cardew allows him. I am sure, Lord Illingworth, you don’t -think that uneducated people should be allowed to have votes? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I think they are the only people who should. - -KELVIL. Do you take no side then in modern politics, Lord Illingworth? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should never take sides in anything, Mr. Kelvil. -Taking sides is the beginning of sincerity, and earnestness follows -shortly afterwards, and the human being becomes a bore. However, the -House of Commons really does very little harm. You can’t make people -good by Act of Parliament,—that is something. - -KELVIL. You cannot deny that the House of Commons has always shown great -sympathy with the sufferings of the poor. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. That is its special vice. That is the special vice of -the age. One should sympathise with the joy, the beauty, the colour of -life. The less said about life’s sores the better, Mr. Kelvil. - -KELVIL. Still our East End is a very important problem. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Quite so. It is the problem of slavery. And we are -trying to solve it by amusing the slaves. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Certainly, a great deal may be done by means of cheap -entertainments, as you say, Lord Illingworth. Dear Dr. Daubeny, our -rector here, provides, with the assistance of his curates, really -admirable recreations for the poor during the winter. And much good may -be done by means of a magic lantern, or a missionary, or some popular -amusement of that kind. - -LADY CAROLINE. I am not at all in favour of amusements for the poor, -Jane. Blankets and coals are sufficient. There is too much love of -pleasure amongst the upper classes as it is. Health is what we want in -modern life. The tone is not healthy, not healthy at all. - -KELVIL. You are quite right, Lady Caroline. - -LADY CAROLINE. I believe I am usually right. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Horrid word ‘health.’ - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Silliest word in our language, and one knows so well -the popular idea of health. The English country gentleman galloping -after a fox—the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - -KELVIL. May I ask, Lord Illingworth, if you regard the House of Lords as -a better institution than the House of Commons? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. A much better institution, of course. We in the House -of Lords are never in touch with public opinion. That makes us a -civilised body. - -KELVIL. Are you serious in putting forward such a view? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Quite serious, Mr. Kelvil. [_To_ MRS. ALLONBY.] -Vulgar habit that is people have nowadays of asking one, after one has -given them an idea, whether one is serious or not. Nothing is serious -except passion. The intellect is not a serious thing, and never has -been. It is an instrument on which one plays, that is all. The only -serious form of intellect I know is the British intellect. And on the -British intellect the illiterates play the drum. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. What are you saying, Lord Illingworth, about the drum? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I was merely talking to Mrs. Allonby about the leading -articles in the London newspapers. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. But do you believe all that is written in the -newspapers? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I do. Nowadays it is only the unreadable that occurs. -[_Rises with_ MRS. ALLONBY.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Are you going, Mrs. Allonby? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Just as far as the conservatory. Lord Illingworth told me -this morning that there was an orchid there as beautiful as the seven -deadly sins. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear, I hope there is nothing of the kind. I will -certainly speak to the gardener. - -[_Exit_ MRS. ALLONBY _and_ LORD ILLINGWORTH.] - -LADY CAROLINE. Remarkable type, Mrs. Allonby. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. She lets her clever tongue run away with her sometimes. - -LADY CAROLINE. Is that the only thing, Jane, Mrs. Allonby allows to run -away with her? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I hope so, Caroline, I am sure. - -[_Enter_ LORD ALFRED.] - -Dear Lord Alfred, do join us. [LORD ALFRED _sits down beside_ LADY -STUTFIELD.] - -LADY CAROLINE. You believe good of every one, Jane. It is a great -fault. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Do you really, really think, Lady Caroline, that one -should believe evil of every one? - -LADY CAROLINE. I think it is much safer to do so, Lady Stutfield. -Until, of course, people are found out to be good. But that requires a -great deal of investigation nowadays. - -LADY STUTFIELD. But there is so much unkind scandal in modern life. - -LADY CAROLINE. Lord Illingworth remarked to me last night at dinner that -the basis of every scandal is an absolutely immoral certainty. - -KELVIL. Lord Illingworth is, of course, a very brilliant man, but he -seems to me to be lacking in that fine faith in the nobility and purity -of life which is so important in this century. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes, quite, quite important, is it not? - -KELVIL. He gives me the impression of a man who does not appreciate the -beauty of our English home-life. I would say that he was tainted with -foreign ideas on the subject. - -LADY STUTFIELD. There is nothing, nothing like the beauty of home-life, -is there? - -KELVIL. It is the mainstay of our moral system in England, Lady -Stutfield. Without it we would become like our neighbours. - -LADY STUTFIELD. That would be so, so sad, would it not? - -KELVIL. I am afraid, too, that Lord Illingworth regards woman simply as -a toy. Now, I have never regarded woman as a toy. Woman is the -intellectual helpmeet of man in public as in private life. Without her -we should forget the true ideals. [_Sits down beside_ LADY STUTFIELD.] - -LADY STUTFIELD. I am so very, very glad to hear you say that. - -LADY CAROLINE. You a married man, Mr. Kettle? - -SIR JOHN. Kelvil, dear, Kelvil. - -KELVIL. I am married, Lady Caroline. - -LADY CAROLINE. Family? - -KELVIL. Yes. - -LADY CAROLINE. How many? - -KELVIL. Eight. - -[LADY STUTFIELD _turns her attention to_ LORD ALFRED.] - -LADY CAROLINE. Mrs. Kettle and the children are, I suppose, at the -seaside? [SIR JOHN _shrugs his shoulders_.] - -KELVIL. My wife is at the seaside with the children, Lady Caroline. - -LADY CAROLINE. You will join them later on, no doubt? - -KELVIL. If my public engagements permit me. - -LADY CAROLINE. Your public life must be a great source of gratification -to Mrs. Kettle. - -SIR JOHN. Kelvil, my love, Kelvil. - -LADY STUTFIELD. [_To_ LORD ALFRED.] How very, very charming those -gold-tipped cigarettes of yours are, Lord Alfred. - -LORD ALFRED. They are awfully expensive. I can only afford them when -I’m in debt. - -LADY STUTFIELD. It must be terribly, terribly distressing to be in debt. - -LORD ALFRED. One must have some occupation nowadays. If I hadn’t my -debts I shouldn’t have anything to think about. All the chaps I know are -in debt. - -LADY STUTFIELD. But don’t the people to whom you owe the money give you -a great, great deal of annoyance? - -[_Enter Footman_.] - -LORD ALFRED. Oh, no, they write; I don’t. - -LADY STUTFIELD. How very, very strange. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, here is a letter, Caroline, from dear Mrs. -Arbuthnot. She won’t dine. I am so sorry. But she will come in the -evening. I am very pleased indeed. She is one of the sweetest of women. -Writes a beautiful hand, too, so large, so firm. [_Hands letter to_ LADY -CAROLINE.] - -LADY CAROLINE. [_Looking at it_.] A little lacking in femininity, Jane. -Femininity is the quality I admire most in women. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [_Taking back letter and leaving it on table_.] Oh! -she is very feminine, Caroline, and so good too. You should hear what -the Archdeacon says of her. He regards her as his right hand in the -parish. [_Footman speaks to her_.] In the Yellow Drawing-room. Shall -we all go in? Lady Stutfield, shall we go in to tea? - -LADY STUTFIELD. With pleasure, Lady Hunstanton. [_They rise and proceed -to go off_. SIR JOHN offers to carry LADY STUTFIELD’S cloak.] - -LADY CAROLINE. John! If you would allow your nephew to look after Lady -Stutfield’s cloak, you might help me with my workbasket. - -[_Enter_ LORD ILLINGWORTH _and_ MRS. ALLONBY.] - -SIR JOHN. Certainly, my love. [_Exeunt_.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. Curious thing, plain women are always jealous of their -husbands, beautiful women never are! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Beautiful women never have time. They are always so -occupied in being jealous of other people’s husbands. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I should have thought Lady Caroline would have grown tired -of conjugal anxiety by this time! Sir John is her fourth! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. So much marriage is certainly not becoming. Twenty -years of romance make a woman look like a ruin; but twenty years of -marriage make her something like a public building. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Twenty years of romance! Is there such a thing? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Not in our day. Women have become too brilliant. -Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Or the want of it in the man. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You are quite right. In a Temple every one should be -serious, except the thing that is worshipped. - -MRS. ALLONBY. And that should be man? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Women kneel so gracefully; men don’t. - -MRS. ALLONBY. You are thinking of Lady Stutfield! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I assure you I have not thought of Lady Stutfield for -the last quarter of an hour. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Is she such a mystery? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. She is more than a mystery—she is a mood. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Moods don’t last. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is their chief charm. - -[_Enter_ HESTER _and_ GERALD.] - -GERALD. Lord Illingworth, every one has been congratulating me, Lady -Hunstanton and Lady Caroline, and . . . every one. I hope I shall make a -good secretary. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You will be the pattern secretary, Gerald. [_Talks to -him_.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. You enjoy country life, Miss Worsley? - -HESTER. Very much indeed. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Don’t find yourself longing for a London dinner-party? - -HESTER. I dislike London dinner-parties. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I adore them. The clever people never listen, and the -stupid people never talk. - -HESTER. I think the stupid people talk a great deal. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, I never listen! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear boy, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t have made -you the offer. It is because I like you so much that I want to have you -with me. - -[_Exit_ HESTER _with_ GERALD.] - -Charming fellow, Gerald Arbuthnot! - -MRS. ALLONBY. He is very nice; very nice indeed. But I can’t stand the -American young lady. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Why? - -MRS. ALLONBY. She told me yesterday, and in quite a loud voice too, that -she was only eighteen. It was most annoying. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should never trust a woman who tells one her real -age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything. - -MRS. ALLONBY. She is a Puritan besides— - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Ah, that is inexcusable. I don’t mind plain women -being Puritans. It is the only excuse they have for being plain. But -she is decidedly pretty. I admire her immensely. [_Looks steadfastly -at_ MRS. ALLONBY.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. What a thoroughly bad man you must be! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What do you call a bad man? - -MRS. ALLONBY. The sort of man who admires innocence. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. And a bad woman? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh! the sort of woman a man never gets tired of. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You are severe—on yourself. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Define us as a sex. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Sphinxes without secrets. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Does that include the Puritan women? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Do you know, I don’t believe in the existence of -Puritan women? I don’t think there is a woman in the world who would not -be a little flattered if one made love to her. It is that which makes -women so irresistibly adorable. - -MRS. ALLONBY. You think there is no woman in the world who would object -to being kissed? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Very few. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Miss Worsley would not let you kiss her. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Are you sure? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Quite. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What do you think she’d do if I kissed her? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Either marry you, or strike you across the face with her -glove. What would you do if she struck you across the face with her -glove? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Fall in love with her, probably. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Then it is lucky you are not going to kiss her! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Is that a challenge? - -MRS. ALLONBY. It is an arrow shot into the air. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Don’t you know that I always succeed in whatever I -try? - -MRS. ALLONBY. I am sorry to hear it. We women adore failures. They -lean on us. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You worship successes. You cling to them. - -MRS. ALLONBY. We are the laurels to hide their baldness. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. And they need you always, except at the moment of -triumph. - -MRS. ALLONBY. They are uninteresting then. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. How tantalising you are! [_A pause_.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. Lord Illingworth, there is one thing I shall always like -you for. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Only one thing? And I have so many bad qualities. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, don’t be too conceited about them. You may lose them -as you grow old. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I never intend to grow old. The soul is born old but -grows young. That is the comedy of life. - -MRS. ALLONBY. And the body is born young and grows old. That is life’s -tragedy. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Its comedy also, sometimes. But what is the -mysterious reason why you will always like me? - -MRS. ALLONBY. It is that you have never made love to me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I have never done anything else. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Really? I have not noticed it. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. How fortunate! It might have been a tragedy for both -of us. - -MRS. ALLONBY. We should each have survived. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and -live down anything except a good reputation. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Have you tried a good reputation? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is one of the many annoyances to which I have never -been subjected. - -MRS. ALLONBY. It may come. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Why do you threaten me? - -MRS. ALLONBY. I will tell you when you have kissed the Puritan. - -[_Enter Footman_.] - -FRANCIS. Tea is served in the Yellow Drawing-room, my lord. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Tell her ladyship we are coming in. - -FRANCIS. Yes, my lord. - -[_Exit_.] - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Shall we go in to tea? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Do you like such simple pleasures? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of -the complex. But, if you wish, let us stay here. Yes, let us stay here. -The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden. - -MRS. ALLONBY. It ends with Revelations. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You fence divinely. But the button has come off your -foil. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I have still the mask. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It makes your eyes lovelier. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Thank you. Come. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. [_Sees_ MRS. ARBUTHNOT’S _letter on table_, _and takes -it up and looks at envelope_.] What a curious handwriting! It reminds -me of the handwriting of a woman I used to know years ago. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Who? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Oh! no one. No one in particular. A woman of no -importance. [_Throws letter down_, _and passes up the steps of the -terrace with_ MRS. ALLONBY. _They smile at each other_.] - - ACT DROP. - - - - -SECOND ACT - - - SCENE - - _Drawing-room at Hunstanton_, _after dinner_, _lamps lit_. _Door_ L.C. - _Door_ R.C. - -[_Ladies seated on sofas_.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. What a comfort it is to have got rid of the men for a -little! - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes; men persecute us dreadfully, don’t they? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Persecute us? I wish they did. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear! - -MRS. ALLONBY. The annoying thing is that the wretches can be perfectly -happy without us. That is why I think it is every woman’s duty never to -leave them alone for a single moment, except during this short breathing -space after dinner; without which I believe we poor women would be -absolutely worn to shadows. - -[_Enter Servants with coffee_.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Worn to shadows, dear? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Yes, Lady Hunstanton. It is such a strain keeping men up -to the mark. They are always trying to escape from us. - -LADY STUTFIELD. It seems to me that it is we who are always trying to -escape from them. Men are so very, very heartless. They know their -power and use it. - -LADY CAROLINE. [_Takes coffee from Servant_.] What stuff and nonsense -all this about men is! The thing to do is to keep men in their proper -place. - -MRS. ALLONBY. But what is their proper place, Lady Caroline? - -LADY CAROLINE. Looking after their wives, Mrs. Allonby. - -MRS. ALLONBY. [_Takes coffee from Servant_.] Really? And if they’re -not married? - -LADY CAROLINE. If they are not married, they should be looking after a -wife. It’s perfectly scandalous the amount of bachelors who are going -about society. There should be a law passed to compel them all to marry -within twelve months. - -LADY STUTFIELD. [_Refuses coffee_.] But if they’re in love with some -one who, perhaps, is tied to another? - -LADY CAROLINE. In that case, Lady Stutfield, they should be married off -in a week to some plain respectable girl, in order to teach them not to -meddle with other people’s property. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I don’t think that we should ever be spoken of as other -people’s property. All men are married women’s property. That is the -only true definition of what married women’s property really is. But we -don’t belong to any one. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Oh, I am so very, very glad to hear you say so. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. But do you really think, dear Caroline, that -legislation would improve matters in any way? I am told that, nowadays, -all the married men live like bachelors, and all the bachelors like -married men. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I certainly never know one from the other. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Oh, I think one can always know at once whether a man -has home claims upon his life or not. I have noticed a very, very sad -expression in the eyes of so many married men. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, all that I have noticed is that they are horribly -tedious when they are good husbands, and abominably conceited when they -are not. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, I suppose the type of husband has completely -changed since my young days, but I’m bound to state that poor dear -Hunstanton was the most delightful of creatures, and as good as gold. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, my husband is a sort of promissory note; I’m tired of -meeting him. - -LADY CAROLINE. But you renew him from time to time, don’t you? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh no, Lady Caroline. I have only had one husband as yet. -I suppose you look upon me as quite an amateur. - -LADY CAROLINE. With your views on life I wonder you married at all. - -MRS. ALLONBY. So do I. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear child, I believe you are really very happy in -your married life, but that you like to hide your happiness from others. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I assure you I was horribly deceived in Ernest. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Oh, I hope not, dear. I knew his mother quite well. -She was a Stratton, Caroline, one of Lord Crowland’s daughters. - -LADY CAROLINE. Victoria Stratton? I remember her perfectly. A silly -fair-haired woman with no chin. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, Ernest has a chin. He has a very strong chin, a -square chin. Ernest’s chin is far too square. - -LADY STUTFIELD. But do you really think a man’s chin can be too square? -I think a man should look very, very strong, and that his chin should be -quite, quite square. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Then you should certainly know Ernest, Lady Stutfield. It -is only fair to tell you beforehand he has got no conversation at all. - -LADY STUTFIELD. I adore silent men. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, Ernest isn’t silent. He talks the whole time. But he -has got no conversation. What he talks about I don’t know. I haven’t -listened to him for years. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Have you never forgiven him then? How sad that seems! -But all life is very, very sad, is it not? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Life, Lady Stutfield, is simply a _mauvais quart d’heure_ -made up of exquisite moments. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes, there are moments, certainly. But was it something -very, very wrong that Mr. Allonby did? Did he become angry with you, and -say anything that was unkind or true? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh dear, no. Ernest is invariably calm. That is one of -the reasons he always gets on my nerves. Nothing is so aggravating as -calmness. There is something positively brutal about the good temper of -most modern men. I wonder we women stand it as well as we do. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes; men’s good temper shows they are not so sensitive -as we are, not so finely strung. It makes a great barrier often between -husband and wife, does it not? But I would so much like to know what was -the wrong thing Mr. Allonby did. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Well, I will tell you, if you solemnly promise to tell -everybody else. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Thank you, thank you. I will make a point of repeating -it. - -MRS. ALLONBY. When Ernest and I were engaged, he swore to me positively -on his knees that he had never loved any one before in the whole course -of his life. I was very young at the time, so I didn’t believe him, I -needn’t tell you. Unfortunately, however, I made no enquiries of any -kind till after I had been actually married four or five months. I found -out then that what he had told me was perfectly true. And that sort of -thing makes a man so absolutely uninteresting. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear! - -MRS. ALLONBY. Men always want to be a woman’s first love. That is their -clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about things. What -we like is to be a man’s last romance. - -LADY STUTFIELD. I see what you mean. It’s very, very beautiful. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear child, you don’t mean to tell me that you won’t -forgive your husband because he never loved any one else? Did you ever -hear such a thing, Caroline? I am quite surprised. - -LADY CAROLINE. Oh, women have become so highly educated, Jane, that -nothing should surprise us nowadays, except happy marriages. They -apparently are getting remarkably rare. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, they’re quite out of date. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Except amongst the middle classes, I have been told. - -MRS. ALLONBY. How like the middle classes! - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes—is it not?—very, very like them. - -LADY CAROLINE. If what you tell us about the middle classes is true, -Lady Stutfield, it redounds greatly to their credit. It is much to be -regretted that in our rank of life the wife should be so persistently -frivolous, under the impression apparently that it is the proper thing to -be. It is to that I attribute the unhappiness of so many marriages we -all know of in society. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Do you know, Lady Caroline, I don’t think the frivolity of -the wife has ever anything to do with it. More marriages are ruined -nowadays by the common sense of the husband than by anything else. How -can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating -her as if she were a perfectly rational being? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear! - -MRS. ALLONBY. Man, poor, awkward, reliable, necessary man belongs to a -sex that has been rational for millions and millions of years. He can’t -help himself. It is in his race. The History of Woman is very -different. We have always been picturesque protests against the mere -existence of common sense. We saw its dangers from the first. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes, the common sense of husbands is certainly most, -most trying. Do tell me your conception of the Ideal Husband. I think -it would be so very, very helpful. - -MRS. ALLONBY. The Ideal Husband? There couldn’t be such a thing. The -institution is wrong. - -LADY STUTFIELD. The Ideal Man, then, in his relations to _us_. - -LADY CAROLINE. He would probably be extremely realistic. - -MRS. ALLONBY. The Ideal Man! Oh, the Ideal Man should talk to us as if -we were goddesses, and treat us as if we were children. He should refuse -all our serious requests, and gratify every one of our whims. He should -encourage us to have caprices, and forbid us to have missions. He should -always say much more than he means, and always mean much more than he -says. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. But how could he do both, dear? - -MRS. ALLONBY. He should never run down other pretty women. That would -show he had no taste, or make one suspect that he had too much. No; he -should be nice about them all, but say that somehow they don’t attract -him. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Yes, that is always very, very pleasant to hear about -other women. - -MRS. ALLONBY. If we ask him a question about anything, he should give us -an answer all about ourselves. He should invariably praise us for -whatever qualities he knows we haven’t got. But he should be pitiless, -quite pitiless, in reproaching us for the virtues that we have never -dreamed of possessing. He should never believe that we know the use of -useful things. That would be unforgiveable. But he should shower on us -everything we don’t want. - -LADY CAROLINE. As far as I can see, he is to do nothing but pay bills -and compliments. - -MRS. ALLONBY. He should persistently compromise us in public, and treat -us with absolute respect when we are alone. And yet he should be always -ready to have a perfectly terrible scene, whenever we want one, and to -become miserable, absolutely miserable, at a moment’s notice, and to -overwhelm us with just reproaches in less than twenty minutes, and to be -positively violent at the end of half an hour, and to leave us for ever -at a quarter to eight, when we have to go and dress for dinner. And -when, after that, one has seen him for really the last time, and he has -refused to take back the little things he has given one, and promised -never to communicate with one again, or to write one any foolish letters, -he should be perfectly broken-hearted, and telegraph to one all day long, -and send one little notes every half-hour by a private hansom, and dine -quite alone at the club, so that every one should know how unhappy he -was. And after a whole dreadful week, during which one has gone about -everywhere with one’s husband, just to show how absolutely lonely one -was, he may be given a third last parting, in the evening, and then, if -his conduct has been quite irreproachable, and one has behaved really -badly to him, he should be allowed to admit that he has been entirely in -the wrong, and when he has admitted that, it becomes a woman’s duty to -forgive, and one can do it all over again from the beginning, with -variations. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. How clever you are, my dear! You never mean a single -word you say. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Thank you, thank you. It has been quite, quite -entrancing. I must try and remember it all. There are such a number of -details that are so very, very important. - -LADY CAROLINE. But you have not told us yet what the reward of the Ideal -Man is to be. - -MRS. ALLONBY. His reward? Oh, infinite expectation. That is quite -enough for him. - -LADY STUTFIELD. But men are so terribly, terribly exacting, are they -not? - -MRS. ALLONBY. That makes no matter. One should never surrender. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Not even to the Ideal Man? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Certainly not to him. Unless, of course, one wants to -grow tired of him. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Oh! . . . yes. I see that. It is very, very helpful. -Do you think, Mrs. Allonby, I shall ever meet the Ideal Man? Or are -there more than one? - -MRS. ALLONBY. There are just four in London, Lady Stutfield. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Oh, my dear! - -MRS. ALLONBY. [_Going over to her_.] What has happened? Do tell me. - -LADY HUNSTANTON [_in a low voice_] I had completely forgotten that the -American young lady has been in the room all the time. I am afraid some -of this clever talk may have shocked her a little. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, that will do her so much good! - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Let us hope she didn’t understand much. I think I had -better go over and talk to her. [_Rises and goes across to_ HESTER -WORSLEY.] Well, dear Miss Worsley. [_Sitting down beside her_.] How -quiet you have been in your nice little corner all this time! I suppose -you have been reading a book? There are so many books here in the -library. - -HESTER. No, I have been listening to the conversation. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You mustn’t believe everything that was said, you know, -dear. - -HESTER. I didn’t believe any of it. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. That is quite right, dear. - -HESTER. [_Continuing_.] I couldn’t believe that any women could really -hold such views of life as I have heard to-night from some of your -guests. [_An awkward pause_.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I hear you have such pleasant society in America. -Quite like our own in places, my son wrote to me. - -HESTER. There are cliques in America as elsewhere, Lady Hunstanton. But -true American society consists simply of all the good women and good men -we have in our country. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. What a sensible system, and I dare say quite pleasant -too. I am afraid in England we have too many artificial social barriers. -We don’t see as much as we should of the middle and lower classes. - -HESTER. In America we have no lower classes. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Really? What a very strange arrangement! - -MRS. ALLONBY. What is that dreadful girl talking about? - -LADY STUTFIELD. She is painfully natural, is she not? - -LADY CAROLINE. There are a great many things you haven’t got in America, -I am told, Miss Worsley. They say you have no ruins, and no curiosities. - -MRS. ALLONBY. [_To_ LADY STUTFIELD.] What nonsense! They have their -mothers and their manners. - -HESTER. The English aristocracy supply us with our curiosities, Lady -Caroline. They are sent over to us every summer, regularly, in the -steamers, and propose to us the day after they land. As for ruins, we -are trying to build up something that will last longer than brick or -stone. [_Gets up to take her fan from table_.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. What is that, dear? Ah, yes, an iron Exhibition, is it -not, at that place that has the curious name? - -HESTER. [_Standing by table_.] We are trying to build up life, Lady -Hunstanton, on a better, truer, purer basis than life rests on here. -This sounds strange to you all, no doubt. How could it sound other than -strange? You rich people in England, you don’t know how you are living. -How could you know? You shut out from your society the gentle and the -good. You laugh at the simple and the pure. Living, as you all do, on -others and by them, you sneer at self-sacrifice, and if you throw bread -to the poor, it is merely to keep them quiet for a season. With all your -pomp and wealth and art you don’t know how to live—you don’t even know -that. You love the beauty that you can see and touch and handle, the -beauty that you can destroy, and do destroy, but of the unseen beauty of -life, of the unseen beauty of a higher life, you know nothing. You have -lost life’s secret. Oh, your English society seems to me shallow, -selfish, foolish. It has blinded its eyes, and stopped its ears. It -lies like a leper in purple. It sits like a dead thing smeared with -gold. It is all wrong, all wrong. - -LADY STUTFIELD. I don’t think one should know of these things. It is -not very, very nice, is it? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear Miss Worsley, I thought you liked English -society so much. You were such a success in it. And you were so much -admired by the best people. I quite forget what Lord Henry Weston said -of you—but it was most complimentary, and you know what an authority he -is on beauty. - -HESTER. Lord Henry Weston! I remember him, Lady Hunstanton. A man with -a hideous smile and a hideous past. He is asked everywhere. No -dinner-party is complete without him. What of those whose ruin is due to -him? They are outcasts. They are nameless. If you met them in the -street you would turn your head away. I don’t complain of their -punishment. Let all women who have sinned be punished. - -[MRS. ARBUTHNOT _enters from terrace behind in a cloak with a lace veil -over her head_. _She hears the last words and starts_.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear young lady! - -HESTER. It is right that they should be punished, but don’t let them be -the only ones to suffer. If a man and woman have sinned, let them both -go forth into the desert to love or loathe each other there. Let them -both be branded. Set a mark, if you wish, on each, but don’t punish the -one and let the other go free. Don’t have one law for men and another -for women. You are unjust to women in England. And till you count what -is a shame in a woman to be an infamy in a man, you will always be -unjust, and Right, that pillar of fire, and Wrong, that pillar of cloud, -will be made dim to your eyes, or be not seen at all, or if seen, not -regarded. - -LADY CAROLINE. Might I, dear Miss Worsley, as you are standing up, ask -you for my cotton that is just behind you? Thank you. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear Mrs. Arbuthnot! I am so pleased you have come -up. But I didn’t hear you announced. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, I came straight in from the terrace, Lady Hunstanton, -just as I was. You didn’t tell me you had a party. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Not a party. Only a few guests who are staying in the -house, and whom you must know. Allow me. [_Tries to help her_. _Rings -bell_.] Caroline, this is Mrs. Arbuthnot, one of my sweetest friends. -Lady Caroline Pontefract, Lady Stutfield, Mrs. Allonby, and my young -American friend, Miss Worsley, who has just been telling us all how -wicked we are. - -HESTER. I am afraid you think I spoke too strongly, Lady Hunstanton. -But there are some things in England— - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear young lady, there was a great deal of truth, I -dare say, in what you said, and you looked very pretty while you said it, -which is much more important, Lord Illingworth would tell us. The only -point where I thought you were a little hard was about Lady Caroline’s -brother, about poor Lord Henry. He is really such good company. - -[_Enter Footman_.] - -Take Mrs. Arbuthnot’s things. - -[_Exit Footman with wraps_.] - -HESTER. Lady Caroline, I had no idea it was your brother. I am sorry -for the pain I must have caused you—I— - -LADY CAROLINE. My dear Miss Worsley, the only part of your little -speech, if I may so term it, with which I thoroughly agreed, was the part -about my brother. Nothing that you could possibly say could be too bad -for him. I regard Henry as infamous, absolutely infamous. But I am -bound to state, as you were remarking, Jane, that he is excellent -company, and he has one of the best cooks in London, and after a good -dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations. - -LADY HUNSTANTON [_to_ MISS WORSLEY] Now, do come, dear, and make friends -with Mrs. Arbuthnot. She is one of the good, sweet, simple people you -told us we never admitted into society. I am sorry to say Mrs. Arbuthnot -comes very rarely to me. But that is not my fault. - -MRS. ALLONBY. What a bore it is the men staying so long after dinner! I -expect they are saying the most dreadful things about us. - -LADY STUTFIELD. Do you really think so? - -MRS. ALLONBY. I was sure of it. - -LADY STUTFIELD. How very, very horrid of them! Shall we go onto the -terrace? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, anything to get away from the dowagers and the -dowdies. [_Rises and goes with_ LADY STUTFIELD _to door_ L.C.] We are -only going to look at the stars, Lady Hunstanton. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You will find a great many, dear, a great many. But -don’t catch cold. [_To_ MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] We shall all miss Gerald so -much, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. But has Lord Illingworth really offered to make Gerald -his secretary? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Oh, yes! He has been most charming about it. He has -the highest possible opinion of your boy. You don’t know Lord -Illingworth, I believe, dear. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have never met him. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You know him by name, no doubt? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I am afraid I don’t. I live so much out of the world, -and see so few people. I remember hearing years ago of an old Lord -Illingworth who lived in Yorkshire, I think. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, yes. That would be the last Earl but one. He was -a very curious man. He wanted to marry beneath him. Or wouldn’t, I -believe. There was some scandal about it. The present Lord Illingworth -is quite different. He is very distinguished. He does—well, he does -nothing, which I am afraid our pretty American visitor here thinks very -wrong of anybody, and I don’t know that he cares much for the subjects in -which you are so interested, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot. Do you think, -Caroline, that Lord Illingworth is interested in the Housing of the Poor? - -LADY CAROLINE. I should fancy not at all, Jane. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. We all have our different tastes, have we not? But -Lord Illingworth has a very high position, and there is nothing he -couldn’t get if he chose to ask for it. Of course, he is comparatively a -young man still, and he has only come to his title within—how long -exactly is it, Caroline, since Lord Illingworth succeeded? - -LADY CAROLINE. About four years, I think, Jane. I know it was the same -year in which my brother had his last exposure in the evening newspapers. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, I remember. That would be about four years ago. -Of course, there were a great many people between the present Lord -Illingworth and the title, Mrs. Arbuthnot. There was—who was there, -Caroline? - -LADY CAROLINE. There was poor Margaret’s baby. You remember how anxious -she was to have a boy, and it was a boy, but it died, and her husband -died shortly afterwards, and she married almost immediately one of Lord -Ascot’s sons, who, I am told, beats her. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, that is in the family, dear, that is in the family. -And there was also, I remember, a clergyman who wanted to be a lunatic, -or a lunatic who wanted to be a clergyman, I forget which, but I know the -Court of Chancery investigated the matter, and decided that he was quite -sane. And I saw him afterwards at poor Lord Plumstead’s with straws in -his hair, or something very odd about him. I can’t recall what. I often -regret, Lady Caroline, that dear Lady Cecilia never lived to see her son -get the title. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Lady Cecilia? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Lord Illingworth’s mother, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, was one -of the Duchess of Jerningham’s pretty daughters, and she married Sir -Thomas Harford, who wasn’t considered a very good match for her at the -time, though he was said to be the handsomest man in London. I knew them -all quite intimately, and both the sons, Arthur and George. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It was the eldest son who succeeded, of course, Lady -Hunstanton? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. No, dear, he was killed in the hunting field. Or was -it fishing, Caroline? I forget. But George came in for everything. I -always tell him that no younger son has ever had such good luck as he has -had. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Lady Hunstanton, I want to speak to Gerald at once. -Might I see him? Can he be sent for? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Certainly, dear. I will send one of the servants into -the dining-room to fetch him. I don’t know what keeps the gentlemen so -long. [_Rings bell_.] When I knew Lord Illingworth first as plain -George Harford, he was simply a very brilliant young man about town, with -not a penny of money except what poor dear Lady Cecilia gave him. She -was quite devoted to him. Chiefly, I fancy, because he was on bad terms -with his father. Oh, here is the dear Archdeacon. [_To Servant_.] It -doesn’t matter. - -[_Enter_ SIR JOHN _and_ DOCTOR DAUBENY. SIR JOHN _goes over to_ LADY -STUTFIELD, DOCTOR DAUBENY _to_ LADY HUNSTANTON.] - -THE ARCHDEACON. Lord Illingworth has been most entertaining. I have -never enjoyed myself more. [_Sees_ MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] Ah, Mrs. Arbuthnot. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [_To_ DOCTOR BAUBENY.] You see I have got Mrs. -Arbuthnot to come to me at last. - -THE ARCHDEACON. That is a great honour, Lady Hunstanton. Mrs. Daubeny -will be quite jealous of you. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, I am so sorry Mrs. Daubeny could not come with you -to-night. Headache as usual, I suppose. - -THE ARCHDEACON. Yes, Lady Hunstanton; a perfect martyr. But she is -happiest alone. She is happiest alone. - -LADY CAROLINE. [_To her husband_.] John! [SIR JOHN _goes over to his -wife_. DOCTOR BAUBENY _talks to_ LADY HUNSTANTON _and_ MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] - -[MRS. ARBUTHNOT watches LORD ILLINGWORTH the whole time. He has passed -across the room without noticing her, and approaches MRS. ALLONBY, who -with LADY STUTFIELD is standing by the door looking on to the terrace.] - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. How is the most charming woman in the world? - -MRS. ALLONBY. [Taking LADY STUTFIELD by the hand.] We are both quite -well, thank you, Lord Illingworth. But what a short time you have been -in the dining-room! It seems as if we had only just left. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I was bored to death. Never opened my lips the whole -time. Absolutely longing to come in to you. - -MRS. ALLONBY. You should have. The American girl has been giving us a -lecture. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Really? All Americans lecture, I believe. I suppose -it is something in their climate. What did she lecture about? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Oh, Puritanism, of course. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I am going to convert her, am I not? How long do you -give me? - -MRS. ALLONBY. A week. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. A week is more than enough. - -[_Enter_ GERALD _and_ LORD ALFRED.] - -GERALD. [_Going to_ MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] Dear mother! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald, I don’t feel at all well. See me home, Gerald. -I shouldn’t have come. - -GERALD. I am so sorry, mother. Certainly. But you must know Lord -Illingworth first. [_Goes across room_.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Not to-night, Gerald. - -GERALD. Lord Illingworth, I want you so much to know my mother. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. With the greatest pleasure. [_To_ MRS. ALLONBY.] -I’ll be back in a moment. People’s mothers always bore me to death. All -women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. - -MRS. ALLONBY. No man does. That is his. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What a delightful mood you are in to-night! [_Turns -round and goes across with_ GERALD _to_ MRS. ARBUTHNOT. _When he sees -her_, _he starts back in wonder_. _Then slowly his eyes turn towards_ -GERALD.] - -GERALD. Mother, this is Lord Illingworth, who has offered to take me as -his private secretary. [MRS. ARBUTHNOT _bows coldly_.] It is a -wonderful opening for me, isn’t it? I hope he won’t be disappointed in -me, that is all. You’ll thank Lord Illingworth, mother, won’t you? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Lord Illingworth in very good, I am sure, to interest -himself in you for the moment. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. [_Putting his hand on_ GERALD’S _shoulder_.] Oh, -Gerald and I are great friends already, Mrs . . . Arbuthnot. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. There can be nothing in common between you and my son, -Lord Illingworth. - -GERALD. Dear mother, how can you say so? Of course Lord Illingworth is -awfully clever and that sort of thing. There is nothing Lord Illingworth -doesn’t know. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear boy! - -GERALD. He knows more about life than any one I have ever met. I feel -an awful duffer when I am with you, Lord Illingworth. Of course, I have -had so few advantages. I have not been to Eton or Oxford like other -chaps. But Lord Illingworth doesn’t seem to mind that. He has been -awfully good to me, mother. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Lord Illingworth may change his mind. He may not really -want you as his secretary. - -GERALD. Mother! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. You must remember, as you said yourself, you have had so -few advantages. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Lord Illingworth, I want to speak to you for a moment. Do -come over. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Will you excuse me, Mrs. Arbuthnot? Now, don’t let -your charming mother make any more difficulties, Gerald. The thing is -quite settled, isn’t it? - -GERALD. I hope so. [LORD ILLINGWORTH _goes across to_ MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. I thought you were never going to leave the lady in black -velvet. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. She is excessively handsome. [_Looks at_ MRS. -ARBUTHNOT.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Caroline, shall we all make a move to the music-room? -Miss Worsley is going to play. You’ll come too, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, -won’t you? You don’t know what a treat is in store for you. [_To_ -DOCTOR BAUBENY.] I must really take Miss Worsley down some afternoon to -the rectory. I should so much like dear Mrs. Daubeny to hear her on the -violin. Ah, I forgot. Dear Mrs. Daubeny’s hearing is a little -defective, is it not? - -THE ARCHDEACON. Her deafness is a great privation to her. She can’t -even hear my sermons now. She reads them at home. But she has many -resources in herself, many resources. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. She reads a good deal, I suppose? - -THE ARCHDEACON. Just the very largest print. The eyesight is rapidly -going. But she’s never morbid, never morbid. - -GERALD. [_To_ LORD ILLINGWORTH.] Do speak to my mother, Lord -Illingworth, before you go into the music-room. She seems to think, -somehow, you don’t mean what you said to me. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Aren’t you coming? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. In a few moments. Lady Hunstanton, if Mrs. Arbuthnot -would allow me, I would like to say a few words to her, and we will join -you later on. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, of course. You will have a great deal to say to -her, and she will have a great deal to thank you for. It is not every -son who gets such an offer, Mrs. Arbuthnot. But I know you appreciate -that, dear. - -LADY CAROLINE. John! - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Now, don’t keep Mrs. Arbuthnot too long, Lord -Illingworth. We can’t spare her. - -[_Exit following the other guests_. _Sound of violin heard from -music-room_.] - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. So that is our son, Rachel! Well, I am very proud of -him. He in a Harford, every inch of him. By the way, why Arbuthnot, -Rachel? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. One name is as good as another, when one has no right to -any name. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I suppose so—but why Gerald? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. After a man whose heart I broke—after my father. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Well, Rachel, what is over is over. All I have got to -say now in that I am very, very much pleased with our boy. The world -will know him merely as my private secretary, but to me he will be -something very near, and very dear. It is a curious thing, Rachel; my -life seemed to be quite complete. It was not so. It lacked something, -it lacked a son. I have found my son now, I am glad I have found him. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. You have no right to claim him, or the smallest part of -him. The boy is entirely mine, and shall remain mine. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear Rachel, you have had him to yourself for over -twenty years. Why not let me have him for a little now? He is quite as -much mine as yours. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Are you talking of the child you abandoned? Of the -child who, as far as you are concerned, might have died of hunger and of -want? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You forget, Rachel, it was you who left me. It was -not I who left you. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I left you because you refused to give the child a name. -Before my son was born, I implored you to marry me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I had no expectations then. And besides, Rachel, I -wasn’t much older than you were. I was only twenty-two. I was -twenty-one, I believe, when the whole thing began in your father’s -garden. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. When a man is old enough to do wrong he should be old -enough to do right also. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear Rachel, intellectual generalities are always -interesting, but generalities in morals mean absolutely nothing. As for -saying I left our child to starve, that, of course, is untrue and silly. -My mother offered you six hundred a year. But you wouldn’t take -anything. You simply disappeared, and carried the child away with you. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I wouldn’t have accepted a penny from her. Your father -was different. He told you, in my presence, when we were in Paris, that -it was your duty to marry me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Oh, duty is what one expects from others, it is not -what one does oneself. Of course, I was influenced by my mother. Every -man is when he is young. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I am glad to hear you say so. Gerald shall certainly -not go away with you. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What nonsense, Rachel! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Do you think I would allow my son— - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. _Our_ son. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. My son [LORD ILLINGWORTH _shrugs his shoulders_]—to go -away with the man who spoiled my youth, who ruined my life, who has -tainted every moment of my days? You don’t realise what my past has been -in suffering and in shame. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear Rachel, I must candidly say that I think -Gerald’s future considerably more important than your past. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald cannot separate his future from my past. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. That is exactly what he should do. That is exactly -what you should help him to do. What a typical woman you are! You talk -sentimentally, and you are thoroughly selfish the whole time. But don’t -let us have a scene. Rachel, I want you to look at this matter from the -common-sense point of view, from the point of view of what is best for -our son, leaving you and me out of the question. What is our son at -present? An underpaid clerk in a small Provincial Bank in a third-rate -English town. If you imagine he is quite happy in such a position, you -are mistaken. He is thoroughly discontented. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He was not discontented till he met you. You have made -him so. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Of course, I made him so. Discontent is the first -step in the progress of a man or a nation. But I did not leave him with -a mere longing for things he could not get. No, I made him a charming -offer. He jumped at it, I need hardly say. Any young man would. And -now, simply because it turns out that I am the boy’s own father and he my -own son, you propose practically to ruin his career. That is to say, if -I were a perfect stranger, you would allow Gerald to go away with me, but -as he is my own flesh and blood you won’t. How utterly illogical you -are! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will not allow him to go. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. How can you prevent it? What excuse can you give to -him for making him decline such an offer as mine? I won’t tell him in -what relations I stand to him, I need hardly say. But you daren’t tell -him. You know that. Look how you have brought him up. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have brought him up to be a good man. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Quite so. And what is the result? You have educated -him to be your judge if he ever finds you out. And a bitter, an unjust -judge he will be to you. Don’t be deceived, Rachel. Children begin by -loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do -they forgive them. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. George, don’t take my son away from me. I have had -twenty years of sorrow, and I have only had one thing to love me, only -one thing to love. You have had a life of joy, and pleasure, and -success. You have been quite happy, you have never thought of us. There -was no reason, according to your views of life, why you should have -remembered us at all. Your meeting us was a mere accident, a horrible -accident. Forget it. Don’t come now, and rob me of . . . of all I have -in the whole world. You are so rich in other things. Leave me the -little vineyard of my life; leave me the walled-in garden and the well of -water; the ewe-lamb God sent me, in pity or in wrath, oh! leave me that. -George, don’t take Gerald from me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Rachel, at the present moment you are not necessary to -Gerald’s career; I am. There is nothing more to be said on the subject. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will not let him go. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Here is Gerald. He has a right to decide for himself. - -[_Enter_ GERALD.] - -GERALD. Well, dear mother, I hope you have settled it all with Lord -Illingworth? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have not, Gerald. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Your mother seems not to like your coming with me, for -some reason. - -GERALD. Why, mother? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I thought you were quite happy here with me, Gerald. I -didn’t know you were so anxious to leave me. - -GERALD. Mother, how can you talk like that? Of course I have been quite -happy with you. But a man can’t stay always with his mother. No chap -does. I want to make myself a position, to do something. I thought you -would have been proud to see me Lord Illingworth’s secretary. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I do not think you would be suitable as a private -secretary to Lord Illingworth. You have no qualifications. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I don’t wish to seem to interfere for a moment, Mrs. -Arbuthnot, but as far as your last objection is concerned, I surely am -the best judge. And I can only tell you that your son has all the -qualifications I had hoped for. He has more, in fact, than I had even -thought of. Far more. [MRS. ARBUTHNOT _remains silent_.] Have you any -other reason, Mrs. Arbuthnot, why you don’t wish your son to accept this -post? - -GERALD. Have you, mother? Do answer. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. If you have, Mrs. Arbuthnot, pray, pray say it. We -are quite by ourselves here. Whatever it is, I need not say I will not -repeat it. - -GERALD. Mother? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. If you would like to be alone with your son, I will -leave you. You may have some other reason you don’t wish me to hear. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have no other reason. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Then, my dear boy, we may look on the thing as -settled. Come, you and I will smoke a cigarette on the terrace together. -And Mrs. Arbuthnot, pray let me tell you, that I think you have acted -very, very wisely. - -[_Exit with_ GERALD. MRS. ARBUTHNOT _is left alone_. _She stands -immobile with a look of unutterable sorrow on her face_.] - - ACT DROP - - - - -THIRD ACT - - - SCENE - - _The Picture Gallery at Hunstanton_. _Door at back leading on to - terrace_. - -[LORD ILLINGWORTH _and_ GERALD, R.C. LORD ILLINGWORTH _lolling on a -sofa_. GERALD _in a chair_.] - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Thoroughly sensible woman, your mother, Gerald. I -knew she would come round in the end. - -GERALD. My mother is awfully conscientious, Lord Illingworth, and I know -she doesn’t think I am educated enough to be your secretary. She is -perfectly right, too. I was fearfully idle when I was at school, and I -couldn’t pass an examination now to save my life. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. My dear Gerald, examinations are of no value -whatsoever. If a man is a gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if he is -not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him. - -GERALD. But I am so ignorant of the world, Lord Illingworth. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Don’t be afraid, Gerald. Remember that you’ve got on -your side the most wonderful thing in the world—youth! There is nothing -like youth. The middle-aged are mortgaged to Life. The old are in -life’s lumber-room. But youth is the Lord of Life. Youth has a kingdom -waiting for it. Every one is born a king, and most people die in exile, -like most kings. To win back my youth, Gerald, there is nothing I -wouldn’t do—except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of -the community. - -GERALD. But you don’t call yourself old, Lord Illingworth? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I am old enough to be your father, Gerald. - -GERALD. I don’t remember my father; he died years ago. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. So Lady Hunstanton told me. - -GERALD. It is very curious, my mother never talks to me about my father. -I sometimes think she must have married beneath her. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. [_Winces slightly_.] Really? [_Goes over and puts -his hand on_ GERALD’S _shoulder_.] You have missed not having a father, -I suppose, Gerald? - -GERALD. Oh, no; my mother has been so good to me. No one ever had such -a mother as I have had. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I am quite sure of that. Still I should imagine that -most mothers don’t quite understand their sons. Don’t realise, I mean, -that a son has ambitions, a desire to see life, to make himself a name. -After all, Gerald, you couldn’t be expected to pass all your life in such -a hole as Wrockley, could you? - -GERALD. Oh, no! It would be dreadful! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. A mother’s love is very touching, of course, but it is -often curiously selfish. I mean, there is a good deal of selfishness in -it. - -GERALD. [_Slowly_.] I suppose there is. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Your mother is a thoroughly good woman. But good -women have such limited views of life, their horizon is so small, their -interests are so petty, aren’t they? - -GERALD. They are awfully interested, certainly, in things we don’t care -much about. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I suppose your mother is very religious, and that sort -of thing. - -GERALD. Oh, yes, she’s always going to church. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Ah! she is not modern, and to be modern is the only -thing worth being nowadays. You want to be modern, don’t you, Gerald? -You want to know life as it really is. Not to be put off with any -old-fashioned theories about life. Well, what you have to do at present -is simply to fit yourself for the best society. A man who can dominate a -London dinner-table can dominate the world. The future belongs to the -dandy. It is the exquisites who are going to rule. - -GERALD. I should like to wear nice things awfully, but I have always -been told that a man should not think too much about his clothes. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. People nowadays are so absolutely superficial that -they don’t understand the philosophy of the superficial. By the way, -Gerald, you should learn how to tie your tie better. Sentiment is all -very well for the button-hole. But the essential thing for a necktie is -style. A well-tied tie is the first serious step in life. - -GERALD. [_Laughing_.] I might be able to learn how to tie a tie, Lord -Illingworth, but I should never be able to talk as you do. I don’t know -how to talk. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Oh! talk to every woman as if you loved her, and to -every man as if he bored you, and at the end of your first season you -will have the reputation of possessing the most perfect social tact. - -GERALD. But it is very difficult to get into society isn’t it? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. To get into the best society, nowadays, one has either -to feed people, amuse people, or shock people—that is all! - -GERALD. I suppose society is wonderfully delightful! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. To be in it is merely a bore. But to be out of it -simply a tragedy. Society is a necessary thing. No man has any real -success in this world unless he has got women to back him, and women rule -society. If you have not got women on your side you are quite over. You -might just as well be a barrister, or a stockbroker, or a journalist at -once. - -GERALD. It is very difficult to understand women, is it not? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You should never try to understand them. Women are -pictures. Men are problems. If you want to know what a woman really -means—which, by the way, is always a dangerous thing to do—look at her, -don’t listen to her. - -GERALD. But women are awfully clever, aren’t they? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should always tell them so. But, to the -philosopher, my dear Gerald, women represent the triumph of matter over -mind—just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals. - -GERALD. How then can women have so much power as you say they have? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. The history of women is the history of the worst form -of tyranny the world has ever known. The tyranny of the weak over the -strong. It is the only tyranny that lasts. - -GERALD. But haven’t women got a refining influence? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Nothing refines but the intellect. - -GERALD. Still, there are many different kinds of women, aren’t there? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Only two kinds in society: the plain and the coloured. - -GERALD. But there are good women in society, aren’t there? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Far too many. - -GERALD. But do you think women shouldn’t be good? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should never tell them so, they’d all become good -at once. Women are a fascinatingly wilful sex. Every woman is a rebel, -and usually in wild revolt against herself. - -GERALD. You have never been married, Lord Illingworth, have you? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Men marry because they are tired; women because they -are curious. Both are disappointed. - -GERALD. But don’t you think one can be happy when one is married? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Perfectly happy. But the happiness of a married man, -my dear Gerald, depends on the people he has not married. - -GERALD. But if one is in love? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should always be in love. That is the reason one -should never marry. - -GERALD. Love is a very wonderful thing, isn’t it? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. When one is in love one begins by deceiving oneself. -And one ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a -romance. But a really _grande passion_ is comparatively rare nowadays. -It is the privilege of people who have nothing to do. That is the one -use of the idle classes in a country, and the only possible explanation -of us Harfords. - -GERALD. Harfords, Lord Illingworth? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. That is my family name. You should study the Peerage, -Gerald. It is the one book a young man about town should know -thoroughly, and it is the best thing in fiction the English have ever -done. And now, Gerald, you are going into a perfectly new life with me, -and I want you to know how to live. [MRS. ARBUTHNOT _appears on terrace -behind_.] For the world has been made by fools that wise men should live -in it! - -[_Enter_ L.C. LADY HUNSTANTON _and_ DR. DAUBENY.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! here you are, dear Lord Illingworth. Well, I -suppose you have been telling our young friend, Gerald, what his new -duties are to be, and giving him a great deal of good advice over a -pleasant cigarette. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I have been giving him the best of advice, Lady -Hunstanton, and the best of cigarettes. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I am so sorry I was not here to listen to you, but I -suppose I am too old now to learn. Except from you, dear Archdeacon, -when you are in your nice pulpit. But then I always know what you are -going to say, so I don’t feel alarmed. [_Sees_ MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] Ah! -dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, do come and join us. Come, dear. [_Enter_ MRS. -ARBUTHNOT.] Gerald has been having such a long talk with Lord -Illingworth; I am sure you must feel very much flattered at the pleasant -way in which everything has turned out for him. Let us sit down. [_They -sit down_.] And how is your beautiful embroidery going on? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I am always at work, Lady Hunstanton. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Mrs. Daubeny embroiders a little, too, doesn’t she? - -THE ARCHDEACON. She was very deft with her needle once, quite a Dorcas. -But the gout has crippled her fingers a good deal. She has not touched -the tambour frame for nine or ten years. But she has many other -amusements. She is very much interested in her own health. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! that is always a nice distraction, in it not? Now, -what are you talking about, Lord Illingworth? Do tell us. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I was on the point of explaining to Gerald that the -world has always laughed at its own tragedies, that being the only way in -which it has been able to bear them. And that, consequently, whatever -the world has treated seriously belongs to the comedy side of things. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Now I am quite out of my depth. I usually am when Lord -Illingworth says anything. And the Humane Society is most careless. -They never rescue me. I am left to sink. I have a dim idea, dear Lord -Illingworth, that you are always on the side of the sinners, and I know I -always try to be on the side of the saints, but that is as far as I get. -And after all, it may be merely the fancy of a drowning person. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. The only difference between the saint and the sinner -is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! that quite does for me. I haven’t a word to say. -You and I, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, are behind the age. We can’t follow Lord -Illingworth. Too much care was taken with our education, I am afraid. -To have been well brought up is a great drawback nowadays. It shuts one -out from so much. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I should be sorry to follow Lord Illingworth in any of -his opinions. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You are quite right, dear. - -[GERALD _shrugs his shoulders and looks irritably over at his mother_. -_Enter_ LADY CAROLINE.] - -LADY CAROLINE. Jane, have you seen John anywhere? - -LADY HUNSTANTON. You needn’t be anxious about him, dear. He is with -Lady Stutfield; I saw them some time ago, in the Yellow Drawing-room. -They seem quite happy together. You are not going, Caroline? Pray sit -down. - -LADY CAROLINE. I think I had better look after John. - -[_Exit_ LADY CAROLINE.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. It doesn’t do to pay men so much attention. And -Caroline has really nothing to be anxious about. Lady Stutfield is very -sympathetic. She is just as sympathetic about one thing as she is about -another. A beautiful nature. - -[_Enter_ SIR JOHN _and_ MRS. ALLONBY.] - -Ah! here is Sir John! And with Mrs. Allonby too! I suppose it was Mrs. -Allonby I saw him with. Sir John, Caroline has been looking everywhere -for you. - -MRS. ALLONBY. We have been waiting for her in the Music-room, dear Lady -Hunstanton. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! the Music-room, of course. I thought it was the -Yellow Drawing-room, my memory is getting so defective. [_To the_ -ARCHDEACON.] Mrs. Daubeny has a wonderful memory, hasn’t she? - -THE ARCHDEACON. She used to be quite remarkable for her memory, but -since her last attack she recalls chiefly the events of her early -childhood. But she finds great pleasure in such retrospections, great -pleasure. - -[_Enter_ LADY STUTFIELD _and_ MR. KELVIL.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! dear Lady Stutfield! and what has Mr. Kelvil been -talking to you about? - -LADY STUTFIELD. About Bimetallism, as well as I remember. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Bimetallism! Is that quite a nice subject? However, I -know people discuss everything very freely nowadays. What did Sir John -talk to you about, dear Mrs. Allonby? - -MRS. ALLONBY. About Patagonia. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Really? What a remote topic! But very improving, I -have no doubt. - -MRS. ALLONBY. He has been most interesting on the subject of Patagonia. -Savages seem to have quite the same views as cultured people on almost -all subjects. They are excessively advanced. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. What do they do? - -MRS. ALLONBY. Apparently everything. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, it is very gratifying, dear Archdeacon, is it -not, to find that Human Nature is permanently one.—On the whole, the -world is the same world, is it not? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. The world is simply divided into two classes—those who -believe the incredible, like the public—and those who do the improbable— - -MRS. ALLONBY. Like yourself? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Yes; I am always astonishing myself. It is the only -thing that makes life worth living. - -LADY STUTFIELD. And what have you been doing lately that astonishes you? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I have been discovering all kinds of beautiful -qualities in my own nature. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah! don’t become quite perfect all at once. Do it -gradually! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I don’t intend to grow perfect at all. At least, I -hope I shan’t. It would be most inconvenient. Women love us for our -defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, -even our gigantic intellects. - -MRS. ALLONBY. It is premature to ask us to forgive analysis. We forgive -adoration; that is quite as much as should be expected from us. - -[_Enter_ LORD ALFRED. _He joins_ LADY STUTFIELD.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! we women should forgive everything, shouldn’t we, -dear Mrs. Arbuthnot? I am sure you agree with me in that. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I do not, Lady Hunstanton. I think there are many -things women should never forgive. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. What sort of things? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. The ruin of another woman’s life. - -[_Moves slowly away to back of stage_.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! those things are very sad, no doubt, but I believe -there are admirable homes where people of that kind are looked after and -reformed, and I think on the whole that the secret of life is to take -things very, very easily. - -MRS. ALLONBY. The secret of life is never to have an emotion that is -unbecoming. - -LADY STUTFIELD. The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of -being terribly, terribly deceived. - -KELVIL. The secret of life is to resist temptation, Lady Stutfield. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. There is no secret of life. Life’s aim, if it has -one, is simply to be always looking for temptations. There are not -nearly enough. I sometimes pass a whole day without coming across a -single one. It is quite dreadful. It makes one so nervous about the -future. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [_Shakes her fan at him_.] I don’t know how it is, -dear Lord Illingworth, but everything you have said to-day seems to me -excessively immoral. It has been most interesting, listening to you. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. All thought is immoral. Its very essence is -destruction. If you think of anything, you kill it. Nothing survives -being thought of. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I don’t understand a word, Lord Illingworth. But I -have no doubt it is all quite true. Personally, I have very little to -reproach myself with, on the score of thinking. I don’t believe in women -thinking too much. Women should think in moderation, as they should do -all things in moderation. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Moderation is a fatal thing, Lady Hunstanton. Nothing -succeeds like excess. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I hope I shall remember that. It sounds an admirable -maxim. But I’m beginning to forget everything. It’s a great misfortune. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is one of your most fascinating qualities, Lady -Hunstanton. No woman should have a memory. Memory in a woman is the -beginning of dowdiness. One can always tell from a woman’s bonnet -whether she has got a memory or not. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. How charming you are, dear Lord Illingworth. You -always find out that one’s most glaring fault is one’s most important -virtue. You have the most comforting views of life. - -[_Enter_ FARQUHAR.] - -FARQUHAR. Doctor Daubeny’s carriage! - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear Archdeacon! It is only half-past ten. - -THE ARCHDEACON. [_Rising_.] I am afraid I must go, Lady Hunstanton. -Tuesday is always one of Mrs. Daubeny’s bad nights. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [_Rising_.] Well, I won’t keep you from her. [_Goes -with him towards door_.] I have told Farquhar to put a brace of -partridge into the carriage. Mrs. Daubeny may fancy them. - -THE ARCHDEACON. It is very kind of you, but Mrs. Daubeny never touches -solids now. Lives entirely on jellies. But she is wonderfully cheerful, -wonderfully cheerful. She has nothing to complain of. - -[_Exit with_ LADY HUNSTANTON.] - -MRS. ALLONBY. [_Goes over to_ LORD ILLINGWORTH.] There is a beautiful -moon to-night. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Let us go and look at it. To look at anything that is -inconstant is charming nowadays. - -MRS. ALLONBY. You have your looking-glass. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is unkind. It merely shows me my wrinkles. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Mine is better behaved. It never tells me the truth. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Then it is in love with you. - -[_Exeunt_ SIR JOHN, LADY STUTFIELD, MR. KELVIL _and_ LORD ALFRED.] - -GERALD. [_To_ LORD ILLINGWORTH] May I come too? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Do, my dear boy. [_Moves towards door with_ MRS. -ALLONBY _and_ GERALD.] - -[LADY CAROLINE _enters_, _looks rapidly round and goes off in opposite -direction to that taken by_ SIR JOHN _and_ LADY STUTFIELD.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald! - -GERALD. What, mother! - -[_Exit_ LORD ILLINGWORTH _with_ MRS. ALLONBY.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It is getting late. Let us go home. - -GERALD. My dear mother. Do let us wait a little longer. Lord -Illingworth is so delightful, and, by the way, mother, I have a great -surprise for you. We are starting for India at the end of this month. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Let us go home. - -GERALD. If you really want to, of course, mother, but I must bid -good-bye to Lord Illingworth first. I’ll be back in five minutes. -[_Exit_.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Let him leave me if he chooses, but not with him—not -with him! I couldn’t bear it. [_Walks up and down_.] - -[_Enter_ HESTER.] - -HESTER. What a lovely night it is, Mrs. Arbuthnot. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Is it? - -HESTER. Mrs. Arbuthnot, I wish you would let us be friends. You are so -different from the other women here. When you came into the Drawing-room -this evening, somehow you brought with you a sense of what is good and -pure in life. I had been foolish. There are things that are right to -say, but that may be said at the wrong time and to the wrong people. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I heard what you said. I agree with it, Miss Worsley. - -HESTER. I didn’t know you had heard it. But I knew you would agree with -me. A woman who has sinned should be punished, shouldn’t she? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Yes. - -HESTER. She shouldn’t be allowed to come into the society of good men -and women? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. She should not. - -HESTER. And the man should be punished in the same way? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. In the same way. And the children, if there are -children, in the same way also? - -HESTER. Yes, it is right that the sins of the parents should be visited -on the children. It is a just law. It is God’s law. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It is one of God’s terrible laws. - -[_Moves away to fireplace_.] - -HESTER. You are distressed about your son leaving you, Mrs. Arbuthnot? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Yes. - -HESTER. Do you like him going away with Lord Illingworth? Of course -there is position, no doubt, and money, but position and money are not -everything, are they? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. They are nothing; they bring misery. - -HESTER. Then why do you let your son go with him? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He wishes it himself. - -HESTER. But if you asked him he would stay, would he not? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He has set his heart on going. - -HESTER. He couldn’t refuse you anything. He loves you too much. Ask -him to stay. Let me send him in to you. He is on the terrace at this -moment with Lord Illingworth. I heard them laughing together as I passed -through the Music-room. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Don’t trouble, Miss Worsley, I can wait. It is of no -consequence. - -HESTER. No, I’ll tell him you want him. Do—do ask him to stay. [_Exit_ -HESTER.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He won’t come—I know he won’t come. - -[Enter LADY CAROLINE. _She looks round anxiously_. _Enter_ GERALD.] - -LADY CAROLINE. Mr. Arbuthnot, may I ask you is Sir John anywhere on the -terrace? - -GERALD. No, Lady Caroline, he is not on the terrace. - -LADY CAROLINE. It is very curious. It is time for him to retire. - -[_Exit_ LADY CAROLINE.] - -GERALD. Dear mother, I am afraid I kept you waiting. I forgot all about -it. I am so happy to-night, mother; I have never been so happy. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. At the prospect of going away? - -GERALD. Don’t put it like that, mother. Of course I am sorry to leave -you. Why, you are the best mother in the whole world. But after all, as -Lord Illingworth says, it is impossible to live in such a place as -Wrockley. You don’t mind it. But I’m ambitious; I want something more -than that. I want to have a career. I want to do something that will -make you proud of me, and Lord Illingworth is going to help me. He is -going to do everything for me. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald, don’t go away with Lord Illingworth. I implore -you not to. Gerald, I beg you! - -GERALD. Mother, how changeable you are! You don’t seem to know your own -mind for a single moment. An hour and a half ago in the Drawing-room you -agreed to the whole thing; now you turn round and make objections, and -try to force me to give up my one chance in life. Yes, my one chance. -You don’t suppose that men like Lord Illingworth are to be found every -day, do you, mother? It is very strange that when I have had such a -wonderful piece of good luck, the one person to put difficulties in my -way should be my own mother. Besides, you know, mother, I love Hester -Worsley. Who could help loving her? I love her more than I have ever -told you, far more. And if I had a position, if I had prospects, I -could—I could ask her to—Don’t you understand now, mother, what it means -to me to be Lord Illingworth’s secretary? To start like that is to find -a career ready for one—before one—waiting for one. If I were Lord -Illingworth’s secretary I could ask Hester to be my wife. As a wretched -bank clerk with a hundred a year it would be an impertinence. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I fear you need have no hopes of Miss Worsley. I know -her views on life. She has just told them to me. [_A pause_.] - -GERALD. Then I have my ambition left, at any rate. That is something—I -am glad I have that! You have always tried to crush my ambition, -mother—haven’t you? You have told me that the world is a wicked place, -that success is not worth having, that society is shallow, and all that -sort of thing—well, I don’t believe it, mother. I think the world must -be delightful. I think society must be exquisite. I think success is a -thing worth having. You have been wrong in all that you taught me, -mother, quite wrong. Lord Illingworth is a successful man. He is a -fashionable man. He is a man who lives in the world and for it. Well, I -would give anything to be just like Lord Illingworth. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I would sooner see you dead. - -GERALD. Mother, what is your objection to Lord Illingworth? Tell -me—tell me right out. What is it? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He is a bad man. - -GERALD. In what way bad? I don’t understand what you mean. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will tell you. - -GERALD. I suppose you think him bad, because he doesn’t believe the same -things as you do. Well, men are different from women, mother. It is -natural that they should have different views. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It is not what Lord Illingworth believes, or what he -does not believe, that makes him bad. It is what he is. - -GERALD. Mother, is it something you know of him? Something you actually -know? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It is something I know. - -GERALD. Something you are quite sure of? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Quite sure of. - -GERALD. How long have you known it? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. For twenty years. - -GERALD. Is it fair to go back twenty years in any man’s career? And -what have you or I to do with Lord Illingworth’s early life? What -business is it of ours? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. What this man has been, he is now, and will be always. - -GERALD. Mother, tell me what Lord Illingworth did? If he did anything -shameful, I will not go away with him. Surely you know me well enough -for that? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald, come near to me. Quite close to me, as you used -to do when you were a little boy, when you were mother’s own boy. -[GERALD _sits down beside his mother_. _She runs her fingers through his -hair_, _and strokes his hands_.] Gerald, there was a girl once, she was -very young, she was little over eighteen at the time. George -Harford—that was Lord Illingworth’s name then—George Harford met her. -She knew nothing about life. He—knew everything. He made this girl love -him. He made her love him so much that she left her father’s house with -him one morning. She loved him so much, and he had promised to marry -her! He had solemnly promised to marry her, and she had believed him. -She was very young, and—and ignorant of what life really is. But he put -the marriage off from week to week, and month to month.—She trusted in -him all the while. She loved him.—Before her child was born—for she had -a child—she implored him for the child’s sake to marry her, that the -child might have a name, that her sin might not be visited on the child, -who was innocent. He refused. After the child was born she left him, -taking the child away, and her life was ruined, and her soul ruined, and -all that was sweet, and good, and pure in her ruined also. She suffered -terribly—she suffers now. She will always suffer. For her there is no -joy, no peace, no atonement. She is a woman who drags a chain like a -guilty thing. She is a woman who wears a mask, like a thing that is a -leper. The fire cannot purify her. The waters cannot quench her -anguish. Nothing can heal her! no anodyne can give her sleep! no poppies -forgetfulness! She is lost! She is a lost soul!—That is why I call Lord -Illingworth a bad man. That is why I don’t want my boy to be with him. - -GERALD. My dear mother, it all sounds very tragic, of course. But I -dare say the girl was just as much to blame as Lord Illingworth -was.—After all, would a really nice girl, a girl with any nice feelings -at all, go away from her home with a man to whom she was not married, and -live with him as his wife? No nice girl would. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [_After a pause_.] Gerald, I withdraw all my -objections. You are at liberty to go away with Lord Illingworth, when -and where you choose. - -GERALD. Dear mother, I knew you wouldn’t stand in my way. You are the -best woman God ever made. And, as for Lord Illingworth, I don’t believe -he is capable of anything infamous or base. I can’t believe it of him—I -can’t. - -HESTER. [_Outside_.] Let me go! Let me go! [_Enter_ HESTER _in -terror_, _and rushes over to_ GERALD _and flings herself in his arms_.] - -HESTER. Oh! save me—save me from him! - -GERALD. From whom? - -HESTER. He has insulted me! Horribly insulted me! Save me! - -GERALD. Who? Who has dared—? - -[LORD ILLINGWORTH _enters at back of stage_. HESTER _breaks from_ -GERALD’S _arms and points to him_.] - -GERALD [_He is quite beside himself with rage and indignation_.] Lord -Illingworth, you have insulted the purest thing on God’s earth, a thing -as pure as my own mother. You have insulted the woman I love most in the -world with my own mother. As there is a God in Heaven, I will kill you! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [_Rushing across and catching hold of him_] No! no! - -GERALD. [_Thrusting her back_.] Don’t hold me, mother. Don’t hold -me—I’ll kill him! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald! - -GERALD. Let me go, I say! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Stop, Gerald, stop! He is your own father! - -[GERALD _clutches his mother’s hands and looks into her face_. _She -sinks slowly on the ground in shame_. HESTER _steals towards the door_. -LORD ILLINGWORTH _frowns and bites his lip_. _After a time_ GERALD -_raises his mother up_, _puts his arm round her_, _and leads her from -the room_.] - - ACT DROP - - - - -FOURTH ACT - - - SCENE - -_Sitting-room at Mrs. Arbuthnot’s_. _Large open French window at back_, -_looking on to garden_. _Doors_ R.C. _and_ L.C. - -[GERALD ARBUTHNOT _writing at table_.] - -[_Enter_ ALICE R.C. _followed by_ LADY HUNSTANTON _and_ MRS. ALLONBY.] - -ALICE. Lady Hunstanton and Mrs. Allonby. - -[_Exit_ L.C.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Good morning, Gerald. - -GERALD. [_Rising_.] Good morning, Lady Hunstanton. Good morning, Mrs. -Allonby. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [_Sitting down_.] We came to inquire for your dear -mother, Gerald. I hope she is better? - -GERALD. My mother has not come down yet, Lady Hunstanton. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah, I am afraid the heat was too much for her last -night. I think there must have been thunder in the air. Or perhaps it -was the music. Music makes one feel so romantic—at least it always gets -on one’s nerves. - -MRS. ALLONBY. It’s the same thing, nowadays. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. I am so glad I don’t know what you mean, dear. I am -afraid you mean something wrong. Ah, I see you’re examining Mrs. -Arbuthnot’s pretty room. Isn’t it nice and old-fashioned? - -MRS. ALLONBY. [_Surveying the room through her lorgnette_.] It looks -quite the happy English home. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. That’s just the word, dear; that just describes it. -One feels your mother’s good influence in everything she has about her, -Gerald. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Lord Illingworth says that all influence is bad, but that -a good influence is the worst in the world. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. When Lord Illingworth knows Mrs. Arbuthnot better he -will change his mind. I must certainly bring him here. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I should like to see Lord Illingworth in a happy English -home. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. It would do him a great deal of good, dear. Most women -in London, nowadays, seem to furnish their rooms with nothing but -orchids, foreigners, and French novels. But here we have the room of a -sweet saint. Fresh natural flowers, books that don’t shock one, pictures -that one can look at without blushing. - -MRS. ALLONBY. But I like blushing. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, there _is_ a good deal to be said for blushing, -if one can do it at the proper moment. Poor dear Hunstanton used to tell -me I didn’t blush nearly often enough. But then he was so very -particular. He wouldn’t let me know any of his men friends, except those -who were over seventy, like poor Lord Ashton: who afterwards, by the way, -was brought into the Divorce Court. A most unfortunate case. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I delight in men over seventy. They always offer one the -devotion of a lifetime. I think seventy an ideal age for a man. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. She is quite incorrigible, Gerald, isn’t she? -By-the-by, Gerald, I hope your dear mother will come and see me more -often now. You and Lord Illingworth start almost immediately, don’t you? - -GERALD. I have given up my intention of being Lord Illingworth’s -secretary. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Surely not, Gerald! It would be most unwise of you. -What reason can you have? - -GERALD. I don’t think I should be suitable for the post. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I wish Lord Illingworth would ask me to be his secretary. -But he says I am not serious enough. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear, you really mustn’t talk like that in this -house. Mrs. Arbuthnot doesn’t know anything about the wicked society in -which we all live. She won’t go into it. She is far too good. I -consider it was a great honour her coming to me last night. It gave -quite an atmosphere of respectability to the party. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Ah, that must have been what you thought was thunder in -the air. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. My dear, how can you say that? There is no resemblance -between the two things at all. But really, Gerald, what do you mean by -not being suitable? - -GERALD. Lord Illingworth’s views of life and mine are too different. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. But, my dear Gerald, at your age you shouldn’t have any -views of life. They are quite out of place. You must be guided by -others in this matter. Lord Illingworth has made you the most flattering -offer, and travelling with him you would see the world—as much of it, at -least, as one should look at—under the best auspices possible, and stay -with all the right people, which is so important at this solemn moment in -your career. - -GERALD. I don’t want to see the world: I’ve seen enough of it. - -MRS. ALLONBY. I hope you don’t think you have exhausted life, Mr. -Arbuthnot. When a man says that, one knows that life has exhausted him. - -GERALD. I don’t wish to leave my mother. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Now, Gerald, that is pure laziness on your part. Not -leave your mother! If I were your mother I would insist on your going. - -[_Enter_ ALICE L.C.] - -ALICE. Mrs. Arbuthnot’s compliments, my lady, but she has a bad -headache, and cannot see any one this morning. [_Exit_ R.C.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [_Rising_.] A bad headache! I am so sorry! Perhaps -you’ll bring her up to Hunstanton this afternoon, if she is better, -Gerald. - -GERALD. I am afraid not this afternoon, Lady Hunstanton. - -LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, to-morrow, then. Ah, if you had a father, -Gerald, he wouldn’t let you waste your life here. He would send you off -with Lord Illingworth at once. But mothers are so weak. They give up to -their sons in everything. We are all heart, all heart. Come, dear, I -must call at the rectory and inquire for Mrs. Daubeny, who, I am afraid, -is far from well. It is wonderful how the Archdeacon bears up, quite -wonderful. He is the most sympathetic of husbands. Quite a model. -Good-bye, Gerald, give my fondest love to your mother. - -MRS. ALLONBY. Good-bye, Mr. Arbuthnot. - -GERALD. Good-bye. - -[_Exit_ LADY HUNSTANTON _and_ MRS. ALLONBY. GERALD _sits down and reads -over his letter_.] - -GERALD. What name can I sign? I, who have no right to any name. -[_Signs name_, _puts letter into envelope_, _addresses it_, _and is about -to seal it_, _when door_ L.C. _opens and_ MRS. ARBUTHNOT _enters_. -GERALD _lays down sealing-wax_. _Mother and son look at each other_.] - -LADY HUNSTANTON. [_Through French window at the back_.] Good-bye again, -Gerald. We are taking the short cut across your pretty garden. Now, -remember my advice to you—start at once with Lord Illingworth. - -MRS. ALLONBY. _Au revoir_, Mr. Arbuthnot. Mind you bring me back -something nice from your travels—not an Indian shawl—on no account an -Indian shawl. - -[_Exeunt_.] - -GERALD. Mother, I have just written to him. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. To whom? - -GERALD. To my father. I have written to tell him to come here at four -o’clock this afternoon. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He shall not come here. He shall not cross the -threshold of my house. - -GERALD. He must come. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Gerald, if you are going away with Lord Illingworth, go -at once. Go before it kills me: but don’t ask me to meet him. - -GERALD. Mother, you don’t understand. Nothing in the world would induce -me to go away with Lord Illingworth, or to leave you. Surely you know me -well enough for that. No: I have written to him to say— - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. What can you have to say to him? - -GERALD. Can’t you guess, mother, what I have written in this letter? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. No. - -GERALD. Mother, surely you can. Think, think what must be done, now, at -once, within the next few days. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. There is nothing to be done. - -GERALD. I have written to Lord Illingworth to tell him that he must -marry you. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Marry me? - -GERALD. Mother, I will force him to do it. The wrong that has been done -you must be repaired. Atonement must be made. Justice may be slow, -mother, but it comes in the end. In a few days you shall be Lord -Illingworth’s lawful wife. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. But, Gerald— - -GERALD. I will insist upon his doing it. I will make him do it: he will -not dare to refuse. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. But, Gerald, it is I who refuse. I will not marry Lord -Illingworth. - -GERALD. Not marry him? Mother! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will not marry him. - -GERALD. But you don’t understand: it is for your sake I am talking, not -for mine. This marriage, this necessary marriage, this marriage which -for obvious reasons must inevitably take place, will not help me, will -not give me a name that will be really, rightly mine to bear. But surely -it will be something for you, that you, my mother, should, however late, -become the wife of the man who is my father. Will not that be something? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will not marry him. - -GERALD. Mother, you must. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I will not. You talk of atonement for a wrong done. -What atonement can be made to me? There is no atonement possible. I am -disgraced: he is not. That is all. It is the usual history of a man and -a woman as it usually happens, as it always happens. And the ending is -the ordinary ending. The woman suffers. The man goes free. - -GERALD. I don’t know if that is the ordinary ending, mother: I hope it -is not. But your life, at any rate, shall not end like that. The man -shall make whatever reparation is possible. It is not enough. It does -not wipe out the past, I know that. But at least it makes the future -better, better for you, mother. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I refuse to marry Lord Illingworth. - -GERALD. If he came to you himself and asked you to be his wife you would -give him a different answer. Remember, he is my father. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. If he came himself, which he will not do, my answer -would be the same. Remember I am your mother. - -GERALD. Mother, you make it terribly difficult for me by talking like -that; and I can’t understand why you won’t look at this matter from the -right, from the only proper standpoint. It is to take away the -bitterness out of your life, to take away the shadow that lies on your -name, that this marriage must take place. There is no alternative: and -after the marriage you and I can go away together. But the marriage must -take place first. It is a duty that you owe, not merely to yourself, but -to all other women—yes: to all the other women in the world, lest he -betray more. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I owe nothing to other women. There is not one of them -to help me. There is not one woman in the world to whom I could go for -pity, if I would take it, or for sympathy, if I could win it. Women are -hard on each other. That girl, last night, good though she is, fled from -the room as though I were a tainted thing. She was right. I am a -tainted thing. But my wrongs are my own, and I will bear them alone. I -must bear them alone. What have women who have not sinned to do with me, -or I with them? We do not understand each other. - -[_Enter_ HESTER _behind_.] - -GERALD. I implore you to do what I ask you. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. What son has ever asked of his mother to make so hideous -a sacrifice? None. - -GERALD. What mother has ever refused to marry the father of her own -child? None. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Let me be the first, then. I will not do it. - -GERALD. Mother, you believe in religion, and you brought me up to -believe in it also. Well, surely your religion, the religion that you -taught me when I was a boy, mother, must tell you that I am right. You -know it, you feel it. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I do not know it. I do not feel it, nor will I ever -stand before God’s altar and ask God’s blessing on so hideous a mockery -as a marriage between me and George Harford. I will not say the words -the Church bids us to say. I will not say them. I dare not. How could -I swear to love the man I loathe, to honour him who wrought you -dishonour, to obey him who, in his mastery, made me to sin? No: marriage -is a sacrament for those who love each other. It is not for such as him, -or such as me. Gerald, to save you from the world’s sneers and taunts I -have lied to the world. For twenty years I have lied to the world. I -could not tell the world the truth. Who can, ever? But not for my own -sake will I lie to God, and in God’s presence. No, Gerald, no ceremony, -Church-hallowed or State-made, shall ever bind me to George Harford. It -may be that I am too bound to him already, who, robbing me, yet left me -richer, so that in the mire of my life I found the pearl of price, or -what I thought would be so. - -GERALD. I don’t understand you now. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Men don’t understand what mothers are. I am no -different from other women except in the wrong done me and the wrong I -did, and my very heavy punishments and great disgrace. And yet, to bear -you I had to look on death. To nurture you I had to wrestle with it. -Death fought with me for you. All women have to fight with death to keep -their children. Death, being childless, wants our children from us. -Gerald, when you were naked I clothed you, when you were hungry I gave -you food. Night and day all that long winter I tended you. No office is -too mean, no care too lowly for the thing we women love—and oh! how _I_ -loved _you_. Not Hannah, Samuel more. And you needed love, for you were -weakly, and only love could have kept you alive. Only love can keep any -one alive. And boys are careless often and without thinking give pain, -and we always fancy that when they come to man’s estate and know us -better they will repay us. But it is not so. The world draws them from -our side, and they make friends with whom they are happier than they are -with us, and have amusements from which we are barred, and interests that -are not ours: and they are unjust to us often, for when they find life -bitter they blame us for it, and when they find it sweet we do not taste -its sweetness with them . . . You made many friends and went into their -houses and were glad with them, and I, knowing my secret, did not dare to -follow, but stayed at home and closed the door, shut out the sun and sat -in darkness. What should I have done in honest households? My past was -ever with me. . . . And you thought I didn’t care for the pleasant things -of life. I tell you I longed for them, but did not dare to touch them, -feeling I had no right. You thought I was happier working amongst the -poor. That was my mission, you imagined. It was not, but where else was -I to go? The sick do not ask if the hand that smooths their pillow is -pure, nor the dying care if the lips that touch their brow have known the -kiss of sin. It was you I thought of all the time; I gave to them the -love you did not need: lavished on them a love that was not theirs . . . -And you thought I spent too much of my time in going to Church, and in -Church duties. But where else could I turn? God’s house is the only -house where sinners are made welcome, and you were always in my heart, -Gerald, too much in my heart. For, though day after day, at morn or -evensong, I have knelt in God’s house, I have never repented of my sin. -How could I repent of my sin when you, my love, were its fruit! Even now -that you are bitter to me I cannot repent. I do not. You are more to me -than innocence. I would rather be your mother—oh! much rather!—than have -been always pure . . . Oh, don’t you see? don’t you understand? It is my -dishonour that has made you so dear to me. It is my disgrace that has -bound you so closely to me. It is the price I paid for you—the price of -soul and body—that makes me love you as I do. Oh, don’t ask me to do -this horrible thing. Child of my shame, be still the child of my shame! - -GERALD. Mother, I didn’t know you loved me so much as that. And I will -be a better son to you than I have been. And you and I must never leave -each other . . . but, mother . . . I can’t help it . . . you must become -my father’s wife. You must marry him. It is your duty. - -HESTER. [_Running forwards and embracing_ MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] No, no; you -shall not. That would be real dishonour, the first you have ever known. -That would be real disgrace: the first to touch you. Leave him and come -with me. There are other countries than England . . . Oh! other -countries over sea, better, wiser, and less unjust lands. The world is -very wide and very big. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. No, not for me. For me the world is shrivelled to a -palm’s breadth, and where I walk there are thorns. - -HESTER. It shall not be so. We shall somewhere find green valleys and -fresh waters, and if we weep, well, we shall weep together. Have we not -both loved him? - -GERALD. Hester! - -HESTER. [_Waving him back_.] Don’t, don’t! You cannot love me at all, -unless you love her also. You cannot honour me, unless she’s holier to -you. In her all womanhood is martyred. Not she alone, but all of us are -stricken in her house. - -GERALD. Hester, Hester, what shall I do? - -HESTER. Do you respect the man who is your father? - -GERALD. Respect him? I despise him! He is infamous. - -HESTER. I thank you for saving me from him last night. - -GERALD. Ah, that is nothing. I would die to save you. But you don’t -tell me what to do now! - -HESTER. Have I not thanked you for saving _me_? - -GERALD. But what should I do? - -HESTER. Ask your own heart, not mine. I never had a mother to save, or -shame. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He is hard—he is hard. Let me go away. - -GERALD. [_Rushes over and kneels down bedside his mother_.] Mother, -forgive me: I have been to blame. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Don’t kiss my hands: they are cold. My heart is cold: -something has broken it. - -HESTER. Ah, don’t say that. Hearts live by being wounded. Pleasure may -turn a heart to stone, riches may make it callous, but sorrow—oh, sorrow -cannot break it. Besides, what sorrows have you now? Why, at this -moment you are more dear to him than ever, _dear_ though you have _been_, -and oh! how dear you _have_ been always. Ah! be kind to him. - -GERALD. You are my mother and my father all in one. I need no second -parent. It was for you I spoke, for you alone. Oh, say something, -mother. Have I but found one love to lose another? Don’t tell me that. -O mother, you are cruel. [_Gets up and flings himself sobbing on a -sofa_.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [_To_ HESTER.] But has he found indeed another love? - -HESTER. You know I have loved him always. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. But we are very poor. - -HESTER. Who, being loved, is poor? Oh, no one. I hate my riches. They -are a burden. Let him share it with me. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. But we are disgraced. We rank among the outcasts. -Gerald is nameless. The sins of the parents should be visited on the -children. It is God’s law. - -HESTER. I was wrong. God’s law is only Love. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [_Rises_, _and taking_ HESTER _by the hand_, _goes -slowly over to where_ GERALD _is lying on the sofa with his head buried -in his hands_. _She touches him and he looks up_.] Gerald, I cannot -give you a father, but I have brought you a wife. - -GERALD. Mother, I am not worthy either of her or you. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. So she comes first, you are worthy. And when you are -away, Gerald . . . with . . . her—oh, think of me sometimes. Don’t -forget me. And when you pray, pray for me. We should pray when we are -happiest, and you will be happy, Gerald. - -HESTER. Oh, you don’t think of leaving us? - -GERALD. Mother, you won’t leave us? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I might bring shame upon you! - -GERALD. Mother! - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. For a little then: and if you let me, near you always. - -HESTER. [_To_ MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] Come out with us to the garden. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Later on, later on. [_Exeunt_ HESTER _and_ GERALD. -MRS. ARBUTHNOT _goes towards door_ L.C. _Stops at looking-glass over -mantelpiece and looks into it_. _Enter_ ALICE R.C.] - -ALICE. A gentleman to see you, ma’am. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Say I am not at home. Show me the card. [_Takes card -from salver and looks at it_.] Say I will not see him. - -[LORD ILLINGWORTH _enters_. MRS. ARBUTHNOT _sees him in the glass and -starts_, _but does not turn round_. _Exit_ ALICE.] What can you have to -say to me to-day, George Harford? You can have nothing to say to me. -You must leave this house. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Rachel, Gerald knows everything about you and me now, -so some arrangement must be come to that will suit us all three. I -assure you, he will find in me the most charming and generous of fathers. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. My son may come in at any moment. I saved you last -night. I may not be able to save you again. My son feels my dishonour -strongly, terribly strongly. I beg you to go. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. [_Sitting down_.] Last night was excessively -unfortunate. That silly Puritan girl making a scene merely because I -wanted to kiss her. What harm is there in a kiss? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [_Turning round_.] A kiss may ruin a human life, George -Harford. _I_ know that. _I_ know that too well. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. We won’t discuss that at present. What is of -importance to-day, as yesterday, is still our son. I am extremely fond -of him, as you know, and odd though it may seem to you, I admired his -conduct last night immensely. He took up the cudgels for that pretty -prude with wonderful promptitude. He is just what I should have liked a -son of mine to be. Except that no son of mine should ever take the side -of the Puritans: that is always an error. Now, what I propose is this. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Lord Illingworth, no proposition of yours interests me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. According to our ridiculous English laws, I can’t -legitimise Gerald. But I can leave him my property. Illingworth is -entailed, of course, but it is a tedious barrack of a place. He can have -Ashby, which is much prettier, Harborough, which has the best shooting in -the north of England, and the house in St. James Square. What more can a -gentleman require in this world? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Nothing more, I am quite sure. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. As for a title, a title is really rather a nuisance in -these democratic days. As George Harford I had everything I wanted. Now -I have merely everything that other people want, which isn’t nearly so -pleasant. Well, my proposal is this. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I told you I was not interested, and I beg you to go. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. The boy is to be with you for six months in the year, -and with me for the other six. That is perfectly fair, is it not? You -can have whatever allowance you like, and live where you choose. As for -your past, no one knows anything about it except myself and Gerald. -There is the Puritan, of course, the Puritan in white muslin, but she -doesn’t count. She couldn’t tell the story without explaining that she -objected to being kissed, could she? And all the women would think her a -fool and the men think her a bore. And you need not be afraid that -Gerald won’t be my heir. I needn’t tell you I have not the slightest -intention of marrying. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. You come too late. My son has no need of you. You are -not necessary. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What do you mean, Rachel? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. That you are not necessary to Gerald’s career. He does -not require you. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I do not understand you. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Look into the garden. [LORD ILLINGWORTH _rises and goes -towards window_.] You had better not let them see you: you bring -unpleasant memories. [LORD ILLINGWORTH _looks out and starts_.] She -loves him. They love each other. We are safe from you, and we are going -away. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Where? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. We will not tell you, and if you find us we will not -know you. You seem surprised. What welcome would you get from the girl -whose lips you tried to soil, from the boy whose life you have shamed, -from the mother whose dishonour comes from you? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You have grown hard, Rachel. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I was too weak once. It is well for me that I have -changed. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I was very young at the time. We men know life too -early. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. And we women know life too late. That is the difference -between men and women. [_A pause_.] - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Rachel, I want my son. My money may be of no use to -him now. I may be of no use to him, but I want my son. Bring us -together, Rachel. You can do it if you choose. [_Sees letter on -table_.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. There is no room in my boy’s life for you. He is not -interested in _you_. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Then why does he write to me? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. What do you mean? - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What letter is this? [_Takes up letter_.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. That—is nothing. Give it to me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is addressed to _me_. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. You are not to open it. I forbid you to open it. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. And in Gerald’s handwriting. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It was not to have been sent. It is a letter he wrote -to you this morning, before he saw me. But he is sorry now he wrote it, -very sorry. You are not to open it. Give it to me. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It belongs to me. [_Opens it_, _sits down and reads -it slowly_. MRS. ARBUTHNOT _watches him all the time_.] You have read -this letter, I suppose, Rachel? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. No. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. You know what is in it? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Yes! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I don’t admit for a moment that the boy is right in -what he says. I don’t admit that it is any duty of mine to marry you. I -deny it entirely. But to get my son back I am ready—yes, I am ready to -marry you, Rachel—and to treat you always with the deference and respect -due to my wife. I will marry you as soon as you choose. I give you my -word of honour. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. You made that promise to me once before and broke it. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I will keep it now. And that will show you that I -love my son, at least as much as you love him. For when I marry you, -Rachel, there are some ambitions I shall have to surrender. High -ambitions, too, if any ambition is high. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I decline to marry you, Lord Illingworth. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Are you serious? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Yes. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Do tell me your reasons. They would interest me -enormously. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I have already explained them to my son. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I suppose they were intensely sentimental, weren’t -they? You women live by your emotions and for them. You have no -philosophy of life. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. You are right. We women live by our emotions and for -them. By our passions, and for them, if you will. I have two passions, -Lord Illingworth: my love of him, my hate of you. You cannot kill those. -They feed each other. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What sort of love is that which needs to have hate as -its brother? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It is the sort of love I have for Gerald. Do you think -that terrible? Well it is terrible. All love is terrible. All love is -a tragedy. I loved you once, Lord Illingworth. Oh, what a tragedy for a -woman to have loved you! - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. So you really refuse to marry me? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Yes. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. Because you hate me? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Yes. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. And does my son hate me as you do? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. No. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. I am glad of that, Rachel. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. He merely despises you. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What a pity! What a pity for him, I mean. - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Don’t be deceived, George. Children begin by loving -their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely if ever do they -forgive them. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. [_Reads letter over again_, _very slowly_.] May I ask -by what arguments you made the boy who wrote this letter, this beautiful, -passionate letter, believe that you should not marry his father, the -father of your own child? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. It was not I who made him see it. It was another. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. What _fin-de-siècle_ person? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. The Puritan, Lord Illingworth. [_A pause_.] - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. [_Winces_, _then rises slowly and goes over to table -where his hat and gloves are_. MRS. ARBUTHNOT _is standing close to the -table_. _He picks up one of the gloves, and begins pulling it on_.] -There is not much then for me to do here, Rachel? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. Nothing. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. It is good-bye, is it? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. For ever, I hope, this time, Lord Illingworth. - -LORD ILLINGWORTH. How curious! At this moment you look exactly as you -looked the night you left me twenty years ago. You have just the same -expression in your mouth. Upon my word, Rachel, no woman ever loved me -as you did. Why, you gave yourself to me like a flower, to do anything I -liked with. You were the prettiest of playthings, the most fascinating -of small romances . . . [_Pulls out watch_.] Quarter to two! Must be -strolling back to Hunstanton. Don’t suppose I shall see you there again. -I’m sorry, I am, really. It’s been an amusing experience to have met -amongst people of one’s own rank, and treated quite seriously too, one’s -mistress, and one’s— - -[MRS. ARBUTHNOT _snatches up glove and strikes_ LORD ILLINGWORTH _across -the face with it_. LORD ILLINGWORTH _starts_. _He is dazed by the -insult of his punishment_. _Then he controls himself_, _and goes to -window and looks out at his son_. _Sighs and leaves the room_.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [_Falls sobbing on the sofa_.] He would have said it. -He would have said it. - -[_Enter_ GERALD _and_ HESTER _from the garden_.] - -GERALD. Well, dear mother. You never came out after all. So we have -come in to fetch you. Mother, you have not been crying? [_Kneels down -beside her_.] - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. My boy! My boy! My boy! [_Running her fingers through -his hair_.] - -HESTER. [_Coming over_.] But you have two children now. You’ll let me -be your daughter? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [_Looking up_.] Would you choose me for a mother? - -HESTER. You of all women I have ever known. - -[_They move towards the door leading into garden with their arms round -each other’s waists_. GERALD _goes to table_ L.C. _for his hat_. _On -turning round he sees_ LORD ILLINGWORTH’S _glove lying on the floor_, -_and picks it up_.] - -GERALD. Hallo, mother, whose glove is this? You have had a visitor. -Who was it? - -MRS. ARBUTHNOT. [_Turning round_.] Oh! no one. No one in particular. -A man of no importance. - - CURTAIN - - - - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: A Woman of No Importance<br /> -A Play</div> -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Oscar Wilde</div> -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: March 20, 1997 [eBook #854]<br /> -[Most recently updated: June 7, 2021]</div> -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: David Price</div> -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE ***</div> - -<h1>A WOMAN OF<br /> -NO IMPORTANCE</h1> -<p style="text-align: center">A PLAY</p> -<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall">BY</span><br -/> -OSCAR WILDE</p> - -<div class="gapspace"> </div> -<p style="text-align: center">METHUEN & CO., LTD.<br /> -36 ESSEX STREET W.C.<br /> -LONDON</p> -<p style="text-align: center"><i>Eighth Edition</i></p> - -<div class="gapspace"> </div> -<table> -<tr> -<td><p><i>First Printed</i></p> -</td> -<td><p> </p> -</td> -<td><p style="text-align: right"><i>1894</i></p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><i>First Issued by Methuen and Co.</i> (<i>Limited -Editions on Handmade Paper and Japanese Vellum</i>)</p> -</td> -<td><p><i>February</i></p> -</td> -<td><p style="text-align: right"><i>1908</i></p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><i>Third Edition</i></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>September</i></p> -</td> -<td><p style="text-align: right"><i>1909</i></p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><i>Fourth Edition</i></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>May</i></p> -</td> -<td><p style="text-align: right"><i>1910</i></p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><i>Fifth Edition</i></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>December</i></p> -</td> -<td><p style="text-align: right"><i>1911</i></p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><i>Sixth Edition</i></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>March</i></p> -</td> -<td><p style="text-align: right"><i>1913</i></p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><i>Seventh Edition</i> (<i>Cheap Form</i>)</p> -</td> -<td><p><i>October</i></p> -</td> -<td><p style="text-align: right"><i>1916</i></p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><i>Eighth Edition</i></p> -</td> -<td colspan="2"><p style="text-align: center"><i>1919</i></p> -</td> -</tr> -</table> -<p><i>The dramatic rights of</i> ‘<i>A Woman of No -Importance</i>’ <i>belong to Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree and -to Robert Ross</i>, <i>executor and administrator of Oscar -Wilde’s estate</i>.</p> - -<div class="gapspace"> </div> -<p style="text-align: center">TO<br /> -GLADYS<br /> -COUNTESS DE GREY</p> -<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall">[MARCHIONESS -OF RIPON]</span></p> - -<div class="gapspace"> </div> -<h2>THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY</h2> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span></p> -<p><span class="smcap">Sir John Pontefract</span></p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Alfred Rufford</span></p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Kelvil</span>, M.P.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">The Ven. Archdeacon Daubeny</span>, -D.D.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald Arbuthnot</span></p> -<p><span class="smcap">Farquhar</span>, Butler</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Francis</span>, Footman</p> - -<div class="gapspace"> </div> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span></p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline Pontefract</span></p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span></p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span></p> -<p><span class="smcap">Miss Hester Worsley</span></p> -<p><span class="smcap">Alice</span>, Maid</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span></p> -<h2>THE SCENES OF THE PLAY</h2> -<p><span class="smcap">Act</span> I. <i>The Terrace at -Hunstanton Chase</i>.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Act</span> II. <i>The Drawing-room -at Hunstanton Chase</i>.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Act</span> III. <i>The Hall at -Hunstanton Chase</i>.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Act</span> IV. <i>Sitting-room in -Mrs. Arbuthnot’s House at Wrockley</i>.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Time</span>: <i>The Present</i>.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Place</span>: <i>The Shires</i>.</p> -<p style="text-align: center"><i>The action of the play takes -place within twenty-four hours</i>.</p> -<h2>LONDON: HAYMARKET THEATRE</h2> -<p style="text-align: center"><i>Lessee and Manager</i>: <i>Mr. H -Beerbohm Tree</i><br /> -<i>April</i> 19<i>th</i>, 1893</p> -<table> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Mr. Tree</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Sir John Pontefract</span></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Mr. E. Holman Clark</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Lord Alfred Rufford</span></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Mr. Ernest Lawford</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Mr. Kelvil</span>, M.P.</p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Mr. Charles Allan</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">The Ven. Archdeacon Daubeny</span>, -D.D.</p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Mr. Kemble</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Gerald Arbuthnot</span></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Mr. Terry</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Farquhar</span> (<i>Butler</i>)</p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Mr. Hay</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Francis</span> (<i>Footman</i>)</p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Mr. Montague</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Miss Rose Leclercq</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline Pontefract</span></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Miss Le Thière</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Miss Blanche Horlock</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Mrs. Tree</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Miss Hester Worsley</span></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Miss Julia Neilson</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Alice</span> (<i>Maid</i>)</p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Miss Kelly</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -<tr> -<td><p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span></p> -</td> -<td><p><i>Mrs. Bernard-Beere</i>.</p> -</td> -</tr> -</table> -<h2>FIRST ACT</h2> -<p style="text-align: center">SCENE</p> -<p style="text-align: center"><i>Lawn in front of the terrace at -Hunstanton</i>.</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Sir John</span> <i>and</i> <span -class="smcap">Lady Caroline Pontefract</span>, <span -class="smcap">Miss Worsley</span>, <i>on chairs under large yew -tree</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I believe this -is the first English country house you have stayed at, Miss -Worsley?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Yes, Lady -Caroline.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. You have no -country houses, I am told, in America?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. We have not many.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Have you any -country? What we should call country?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. -[<i>Smiling</i>.] We have the largest country in the world, -Lady Caroline. They used to tell us at school that some of -our states are as big as France and England put together.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Ah! you must -find it very draughty, I should fancy. [<i>To</i> <span -class="smcap">Sir John</span>.] John, you should have your -muffler. What is the use of my always knitting mufflers for -you if you won’t wear them?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Sir John</span>. I am quite warm, -Caroline, I assure you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I think not, -John. Well, you couldn’t come to a more charming -place than this, Miss Worsley, though the house is excessively -damp, quite unpardonably damp, and dear Lady Hunstanton is -sometimes a little lax about the people she asks down here. -[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Sir John</span>.] Jane mixes -too much. Lord Illingworth, of course, is a man of high -distinction. It is a privilege to meet him. And that -member of Parliament, Mr. Kettle—</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Sir John</span>. Kelvil, my love, -Kelvil.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. He must be -quite respectable. One has never heard his name before in -the whole course of one’s life, which speaks volumes for a -man, nowadays. But Mrs. Allonby is hardly a very suitable -person.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. I dislike Mrs. -Allonby. I dislike her more than I can say.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I am not sure, -Miss Worsley, that foreigners like yourself should cultivate -likes or dislikes about the people they are invited to -meet. Mrs. Allonby is very well born. She is a niece -of Lord Brancaster’s. It is said, of course, that she -ran away twice before she was married. But you know how -unfair people often are. I myself don’t believe she -ran away more than once.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Mr. Arbuthnot is very -charming.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Ah, yes! the -young man who has a post in a bank. Lady Hunstanton is most -kind in asking him here, and Lord Illingworth seems to have taken -quite a fancy to him. I am not sure, however, that Jane is -right in taking him out of his position. In my young days, -Miss Worsley, one never met any one in society who worked for -their living. It was not considered the thing.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. In America those are -the people we respect most.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I have no -doubt of it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Mr. Arbuthnot has a -beautiful nature! He is so simple, so sincere. He has -one of the most beautiful natures I have ever come across. -It is a privilege to meet <i>him</i>.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. It is not -customary in England, Miss Worsley, for a young lady to speak -with such enthusiasm of any person of the opposite sex. -English women conceal their feelings till after they are -married. They show them then.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Do you, in England, -allow no friendship to exist between a young man and a young -girl?</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>, -<i>followed by Footman with shawls and a cushion</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. We think it -very inadvisable. Jane, I was just saying what a pleasant -party you have asked us to meet. You have a wonderful power -of selection. It is quite a gift.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Dear -Caroline, how kind of you! I think we all do fit in very -nicely together. And I hope our charming American visitor -will carry back pleasant recollections of our English country -life. [<i>To Footman</i>.] The cushion, there, -Francis. And my shawl. The Shetland. Get the -Shetland. [<i>Exit Footman for shawl</i>.]</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald -Arbuthnot</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Lady Hunstanton, I -have such good news to tell you. Lord Illingworth has just -offered to make me his secretary.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. His -secretary? That is good news indeed, Gerald. It means -a very brilliant future in store for you. Your dear mother -will be delighted. I really must try and induce her to come -up here to-night. Do you think she would, Gerald? I -know how difficult it is to get her to go anywhere.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Oh! I am sure -she would, Lady Hunstanton, if she knew Lord Illingworth had made -me such an offer.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter Footman with shawl</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. I will write -and tell her about it, and ask her to come up and meet him. -[<i>To Footman</i>.] Just wait, Francis. [<i>Writes -letter</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. That is a very -wonderful opening for so young a man as you are, Mr. -Arbuthnot.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. It is indeed, Lady -Caroline. I trust I shall be able to show myself worthy of -it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I trust -so.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. [<i>To</i> <span -class="smcap">Hester</span>.] <i>You</i> have not -congratulated me yet, Miss Worsley.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Are you very pleased -about it?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Of course I am. -It means everything to me—things that were out of the reach -of hope before may be within hope’s reach now.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Nothing should be out -of the reach of hope. Life is a hope.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. I fancy, -Caroline, that Diplomacy is what Lord Illingworth is aiming -at. I heard that he was offered Vienna. But that may -not be true.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I don’t -think that England should be represented abroad by an unmarried -man, Jane. It might lead to complications.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. You are too -nervous, Caroline. Believe me, you are too nervous. -Besides, Lord Illingworth may marry any day. I was in hopes -he would have married lady Kelso. But I believe he said her -family was too large. Or was it her feet? I forget -which. I regret it very much. She was made to be an -ambassador’s wife.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. She certainly -has a wonderful faculty of remembering people’s names, and -forgetting their faces.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Well, that -is very natural, Caroline, is it not? [<i>To -Footman</i>.] Tell Henry to wait for an answer. I -have written a line to your dear mother, Gerald, to tell her your -good news, and to say she really must come to dinner.</p> -<p>[<i>Exit Footman</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. That is awfully kind -of you, Lady Hunstanton. [<i>To</i> <span -class="smcap">Hester</span>.] Will you come for a stroll, -Miss Worsley?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. With pleasure. -[<i>Exit with</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. I am very -much gratified at Gerald Arbuthnot’s good fortune. He -is quite a <i>protégé</i> of mine. And I am -particularly pleased that Lord Illingworth should have made the -offer of his own accord without my suggesting anything. -Nobody likes to be asked favours. I remember poor Charlotte -Pagden making herself quite unpopular one season, because she had -a French governess she wanted to recommend to every one.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I saw the -governess, Jane. Lady Pagden sent her to me. It was -before Eleanor came out. She was far too good-looking to be -in any respectable household. I don’t wonder Lady -Pagden was so anxious to get rid of her.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah, that -explains it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. John, the -grass is too damp for you. You had better go and put on -your overshoes at once.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Sir John</span>. I am quite -comfortable, Caroline, I assure you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. You must allow -me to be the best judge of that, John. Pray do as I tell -you.</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Sir John</span> <i>gets up and goes -off</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. You spoil -him, Caroline, you do indeed!</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span> -<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>.]</p> -<p>[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>.] -Well, dear, I hope you like the park. It is said to be well -timbered.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. The trees are -wonderful, Lady Hunstanton.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Quite, quite -wonderful.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. But somehow, I -feel sure that if I lived in the country for six months, I should -become so unsophisticated that no one would take the slightest -notice of me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. I assure -you, dear, that the country has not that effect at all. -Why, it was from Melthorpe, which is only two miles from here, -that Lady Belton eloped with Lord Fethersdale. I remember -the occurrence perfectly. Poor Lord Belton died three days -afterwards of joy, or gout. I forget which. We had a -large party staying here at the time, so we were all very much -interested in the whole affair.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I think to -elope is cowardly. It’s running away from -danger. And danger has become so rare in modern life.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. As far as I -can make out, the young women of the present day seem to make it -the sole object of their lives to be always playing with -fire.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. The one -advantage of playing with fire, Lady Caroline, is that one never -gets even singed. It is the people who don’t know how -to play with it who get burned up.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Yes; I see -that. It is very, very helpful.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. I -don’t know how the world would get on with such a theory as -that, dear Mrs. Allonby.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Ah! The -world was made for men and not for women.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Oh, don’t -say that, Lady Stutfield. We have a much better time than -they have. There are far more things forbidden to us than -are forbidden to them.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Yes; that is -quite, quite true. I had not thought of that.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Sir John</span> <i>and</i> -<span class="smcap">Mr. Kelvil</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Well, Mr. -Kelvil, have you got through your work?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. I have finished my -writing for the day, Lady Hunstanton. It has been an -arduous task. The demands on the time of a public man are -very heavy nowadays, very heavy indeed. And I don’t -think they meet with adequate recognition.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. John, have you -got your overshoes on?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Sir John</span>. Yes, my love.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I think you -had better come over here, John. It is more sheltered.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Sir John</span>. I am quite -comfortable, Caroline.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I think not, -John. You had better sit beside me. [<span -class="smcap">Sir John</span> <i>rises and goes across</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. And what have -you been writing about this morning, Mr. Kelvil?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. On the usual subject, -Lady Stutfield. On Purity.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. That must be -such a very, very interesting thing to write about.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. It is the one subject -of really national importance, nowadays, Lady Stutfield. I -purpose addressing my constituents on the question before -Parliament meets. I find that the poorer classes of this -country display a marked desire for a higher ethical -standard.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. How quite, -quite nice of them.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Are you in -favour of women taking part in politics, Mr. Kettle?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Sir John</span>. Kelvil, my love, -Kelvil.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. The growing influence -of women is the one reassuring thing in our political life, Lady -Caroline. Women are always on the side of morality, public -and private.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. It is so -very, very gratifying to hear you say that.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah, -yes!—the moral qualities in women—that is the -important thing. I am afraid, Caroline, that dear Lord -Illingworth doesn’t value the moral qualities in women as -much as he should.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Lord -Illingworth</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. The world -says that Lord Illingworth is very, very wicked.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. But what -world says that, Lady Stutfield? It must be the next -world. This world and I are on excellent terms. -[<i>Sits down beside</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. -Allonby</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Every one -<i>I</i> know says you are very, very wicked.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. It is -perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying -things against one behind one’s back that are absolutely -and entirely true.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Dear Lord -Illingworth is quite hopeless, Lady Stutfield. I have given -up trying to reform him. It would take a Public Company -with a Board of Directors and a paid Secretary to do that. -But you have the secretary already, Lord Illingworth, -haven’t you? Gerald Arbuthnot has told us of his good -fortune; it is really most kind of you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Oh, -don’t say that, Lady Hunstanton. Kind is a dreadful -word. I took a great fancy to young Arbuthnot the moment I -met him, and he’ll be of considerable use to me in -something I am foolish enough to think of doing.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. He is an -admirable young man. And his mother is one of my dearest -friends. He has just gone for a walk with our pretty -American. She is very pretty, is she not?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Far too -pretty. These American girls carry off all the good -matches. Why can’t they stay in their own -country? They are always telling us it is the Paradise of -women.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. It is, Lady -Caroline. That is why, like Eve, they are so extremely -anxious to get out of it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Who are Miss -Worsley’s parents?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. American -women are wonderfully clever in concealing their parents.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear Lord -Illingworth, what do you mean? Miss Worsley, Caroline, is -an orphan. Her father was a very wealthy millionaire or -philanthropist, or both, I believe, who entertained my son quite -hospitably, when he visited Boston. I don’t know how -he made his money, originally.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. I fancy in American -dry goods.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. What are -American dry goods?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. American -novels.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. How very -singular! . . . Well, from whatever source her large fortune -came, I have a great esteem for Miss Worsley. She dresses -exceedingly well. All Americans do dress well. They -get their clothes in Paris.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. They say, Lady -Hunstanton, that when good Americans die they go to Paris.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. -Indeed? And when bad Americans die, where do they go -to?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Oh, they go -to America.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. I am afraid you -don’t appreciate America, Lord Illingworth. It is a -very remarkable country, especially considering its youth.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. The youth -of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on -now for three hundred years. To hear them talk one would -imagine they were in their first childhood. As far as -civilisation goes they are in their second.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. There is undoubtedly -a great deal of corruption in American politics. I suppose -you allude to that?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I -wonder.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Politics are -in a sad way everywhere, I am told. They certainly are in -England. Dear Mr. Cardew is ruining the country. I -wonder Mrs. Cardew allows him. I am sure, Lord Illingworth, -you don’t think that uneducated people should be allowed to -have votes?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I think -they are the only people who should.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. Do you take no side -then in modern politics, Lord Illingworth?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. One should -never take sides in anything, Mr. Kelvil. Taking sides is -the beginning of sincerity, and earnestness follows shortly -afterwards, and the human being becomes a bore. However, -the House of Commons really does very little harm. You -can’t make people good by Act of Parliament,—that is -something.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. You cannot deny that -the House of Commons has always shown great sympathy with the -sufferings of the poor.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. That is its -special vice. That is the special vice of the age. -One should sympathise with the joy, the beauty, the colour of -life. The less said about life’s sores the better, -Mr. Kelvil.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. Still our East End is -a very important problem.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Quite -so. It is the problem of slavery. And we are trying -to solve it by amusing the slaves.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Certainly, a -great deal may be done by means of cheap entertainments, as you -say, Lord Illingworth. Dear Dr. Daubeny, our rector here, -provides, with the assistance of his curates, really admirable -recreations for the poor during the winter. And much good -may be done by means of a magic lantern, or a missionary, or some -popular amusement of that kind.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I am not at -all in favour of amusements for the poor, Jane. Blankets -and coals are sufficient. There is too much love of -pleasure amongst the upper classes as it is. Health is what -we want in modern life. The tone is not healthy, not -healthy at all.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. You are quite right, -Lady Caroline.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I believe I am -usually right.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Horrid word -‘health.’</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Silliest -word in our language, and one knows so well the popular idea of -health. The English country gentleman galloping after a -fox—the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. May I ask, Lord -Illingworth, if you regard the House of Lords as a better -institution than the House of Commons?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. A much -better institution, of course. We in the House of Lords are -never in touch with public opinion. That makes us a -civilised body.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. Are you serious in -putting forward such a view?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Quite -serious, Mr. Kelvil. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. -Allonby</span>.] Vulgar habit that is people have nowadays -of asking one, after one has given them an idea, whether one is -serious or not. Nothing is serious except passion. -The intellect is not a serious thing, and never has been. -It is an instrument on which one plays, that is all. The -only serious form of intellect I know is the British -intellect. And on the British intellect the illiterates -play the drum.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. What are you -saying, Lord Illingworth, about the drum?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I was -merely talking to Mrs. Allonby about the leading articles in the -London newspapers.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. But do you -believe all that is written in the newspapers?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I do. -Nowadays it is only the unreadable that occurs. [<i>Rises -with</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Are you -going, Mrs. Allonby?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Just as far as -the conservatory. Lord Illingworth told me this morning -that there was an orchid there as beautiful as the seven deadly -sins.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear, I -hope there is nothing of the kind. I will certainly speak -to the gardener.</p> -<p>[<i>Exit</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span> -<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Remarkable -type, Mrs. Allonby.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. She lets her -clever tongue run away with her sometimes.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Is that the -only thing, Jane, Mrs. Allonby allows to run away with her?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. I hope so, -Caroline, I am sure.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Lord Alfred</span>.]</p> -<p>Dear Lord Alfred, do join us. [<span class="smcap">Lord -Alfred</span> <i>sits down beside</i> <span class="smcap">Lady -Stutfield</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. You believe -good of every one, Jane. It is a great fault.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Do you -really, really think, Lady Caroline, that one should believe evil -of every one?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I think it is -much safer to do so, Lady Stutfield. Until, of course, -people are found out to be good. But that requires a great -deal of investigation nowadays.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. But there is -so much unkind scandal in modern life.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Lord -Illingworth remarked to me last night at dinner that the basis of -every scandal is an absolutely immoral certainty.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. Lord Illingworth is, -of course, a very brilliant man, but he seems to me to be lacking -in that fine faith in the nobility and purity of life which is so -important in this century.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Yes, quite, -quite important, is it not?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. He gives me the -impression of a man who does not appreciate the beauty of our -English home-life. I would say that he was tainted with -foreign ideas on the subject.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. There is -nothing, nothing like the beauty of home-life, is there?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. It is the mainstay of -our moral system in England, Lady Stutfield. Without it we -would become like our neighbours.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. That would be -so, so sad, would it not?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. I am afraid, too, -that Lord Illingworth regards woman simply as a toy. Now, I -have never regarded woman as a toy. Woman is the -intellectual helpmeet of man in public as in private life. -Without her we should forget the true ideals. [<i>Sits down -beside</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. I am so very, -very glad to hear you say that.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. You a married -man, Mr. Kettle?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Sir John</span>. Kelvil, dear, -Kelvil.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. I am married, Lady -Caroline.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Family?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. Yes.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. How many?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. Eight.</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span> <i>turns her -attention to</i> <span class="smcap">Lord Alfred</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Mrs. Kettle -and the children are, I suppose, at the seaside? [<span -class="smcap">Sir John</span> <i>shrugs his shoulders</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. My wife is at the -seaside with the children, Lady Caroline.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. You will join -them later on, no doubt?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. If my public -engagements permit me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Your public -life must be a great source of gratification to Mrs. Kettle.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Sir John</span>. Kelvil, my love, -Kelvil.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. [<i>To</i> -<span class="smcap">Lord Alfred</span>.] How very, very -charming those gold-tipped cigarettes of yours are, Lord -Alfred.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Alfred</span>. They are awfully -expensive. I can only afford them when I’m in -debt.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. It must be -terribly, terribly distressing to be in debt.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Alfred</span>. One must have -some occupation nowadays. If I hadn’t my debts I -shouldn’t have anything to think about. All the chaps -I know are in debt.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. But -don’t the people to whom you owe the money give you a -great, great deal of annoyance?</p> -<p>[<i>Enter Footman</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Alfred</span>. Oh, no, they -write; I don’t.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. How very, -very strange.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah, here is -a letter, Caroline, from dear Mrs. Arbuthnot. She -won’t dine. I am so sorry. But she will come in -the evening. I am very pleased indeed. She is one of -the sweetest of women. Writes a beautiful hand, too, so -large, so firm. [<i>Hands letter to</i> <span -class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. [<i>Looking at -it</i>.] A little lacking in femininity, Jane. -Femininity is the quality I admire most in women.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. [<i>Taking -back letter and leaving it on table</i>.] Oh! she is very -feminine, Caroline, and so good too. You should hear what -the Archdeacon says of her. He regards her as his right -hand in the parish. [<i>Footman speaks to her</i>.] -In the Yellow Drawing-room. Shall we all go in? Lady -Stutfield, shall we go in to tea?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. With -pleasure, Lady Hunstanton. [<i>They rise and proceed to go -off</i>. <span class="smcap">Sir John</span> offers to -carry <span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield’s</span> -cloak.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. John! If -you would allow your nephew to look after Lady Stutfield’s -cloak, you might help me with my workbasket.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span> -<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Sir John</span>. Certainly, my -love. [<i>Exeunt</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Curious thing, -plain women are always jealous of their husbands, beautiful women -never are!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Beautiful -women never have time. They are always so occupied in being -jealous of other people’s husbands.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I should have -thought Lady Caroline would have grown tired of conjugal anxiety -by this time! Sir John is her fourth!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. So much -marriage is certainly not becoming. Twenty years of romance -make a woman look like a ruin; but twenty years of marriage make -her something like a public building.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Twenty years of -romance! Is there such a thing?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Not in our -day. Women have become too brilliant. Nothing spoils -a romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Or the want of -it in the man.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. You are -quite right. In a Temple every one should be serious, -except the thing that is worshipped.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. And that should -be man?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Women kneel -so gracefully; men don’t.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. You are -thinking of Lady Stutfield!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I assure -you I have not thought of Lady Stutfield for the last quarter of -an hour.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Is she such a -mystery?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. She is more -than a mystery—she is a mood.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Moods -don’t last.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. It is their -chief charm.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Hester</span> <i>and</i> -<span class="smcap">Gerald</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Lord Illingworth, -every one has been congratulating me, Lady Hunstanton and Lady -Caroline, and . . . every one. I hope I shall make a good -secretary.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. You will be -the pattern secretary, Gerald. [<i>Talks to him</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. You enjoy -country life, Miss Worsley?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Very much indeed.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Don’t -find yourself longing for a London dinner-party?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. I dislike London -dinner-parties.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I adore -them. The clever people never listen, and the stupid people -never talk.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. I think the stupid -people talk a great deal.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Ah, I never -listen!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. My dear -boy, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t have made you -the offer. It is because I like you so much that I want to -have you with me.</p> -<p>[<i>Exit</i> <span class="smcap">Hester</span> <i>with</i> -<span class="smcap">Gerald</span>.]</p> -<p>Charming fellow, Gerald Arbuthnot!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. He is very -nice; very nice indeed. But I can’t stand the -American young lady.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Why?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. She told me -yesterday, and in quite a loud voice too, that she was only -eighteen. It was most annoying.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. One should -never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who -would tell one that, would tell one anything.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. She is a -Puritan besides—</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Ah, that is -inexcusable. I don’t mind plain women being -Puritans. It is the only excuse they have for being -plain. But she is decidedly pretty. I admire her -immensely. [<i>Looks steadfastly at</i> <span -class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. What a -thoroughly bad man you must be!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. What do you -call a bad man?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. The sort of man -who admires innocence.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. And a bad -woman?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Oh! the sort of -woman a man never gets tired of.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. You are -severe—on yourself.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Define us as a -sex.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Sphinxes -without secrets.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Does that -include the Puritan women?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Do you -know, I don’t believe in the existence of Puritan -women? I don’t think there is a woman in the world -who would not be a little flattered if one made love to -her. It is that which makes women so irresistibly -adorable.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. You think there -is no woman in the world who would object to being kissed?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Very -few.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Miss Worsley -would not let you kiss her.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Are you -sure?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Quite.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. What do you -think she’d do if I kissed her?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Either marry -you, or strike you across the face with her glove. What -would you do if she struck you across the face with her -glove?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Fall in -love with her, probably.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Then it is -lucky you are not going to kiss her!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Is that a -challenge?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. It is an arrow -shot into the air.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Don’t -you know that I always succeed in whatever I try?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I am sorry to -hear it. We women adore failures. They lean on -us.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. You worship -successes. You cling to them.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. We are the -laurels to hide their baldness.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. And they -need you always, except at the moment of triumph.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. They are -uninteresting then.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. How -tantalising you are! [<i>A pause</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Lord -Illingworth, there is one thing I shall always like you for.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Only one -thing? And I have so many bad qualities.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Ah, don’t -be too conceited about them. You may lose them as you grow -old.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I never -intend to grow old. The soul is born old but grows -young. That is the comedy of life.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. And the body is -born young and grows old. That is life’s tragedy.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Its comedy -also, sometimes. But what is the mysterious reason why you -will always like me?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. It is that you -have never made love to me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I have -never done anything else.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Really? I -have not noticed it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. How -fortunate! It might have been a tragedy for both of us.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. We should each -have survived.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. One can -survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything -except a good reputation.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Have you tried -a good reputation?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. It is one -of the many annoyances to which I have never been subjected.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. It may -come.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Why do you -threaten me?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I will tell you -when you have kissed the Puritan.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter Footman</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Francis</span>. Tea is served in the -Yellow Drawing-room, my lord.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Tell her -ladyship we are coming in.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Francis</span>. Yes, my lord.</p> -<p>[<i>Exit</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Shall we go -in to tea?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Do you like -such simple pleasures?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I adore -simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the -complex. But, if you wish, let us stay here. Yes, let -us stay here. The Book of Life begins with a man and a -woman in a garden.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. It ends with -Revelations.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. You fence -divinely. But the button has come off your foil.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I have still -the mask.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. It makes -your eyes lovelier.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Thank -you. Come.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. -[<i>Sees</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot’s</span> -<i>letter on table</i>, <i>and takes it up and looks at -envelope</i>.] What a curious handwriting! It reminds -me of the handwriting of a woman I used to know years ago.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Who?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Oh! no -one. No one in particular. A woman of no -importance. [<i>Throws letter down</i>, <i>and passes up -the steps of the terrace with</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. -Allonby</span>. <i>They smile at each other</i>.]</p> -<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Act -Drop</span>.</p> -<h2>SECOND ACT</h2> -<p style="text-align: center">SCENE</p> -<p style="text-align: center"><i>Drawing-room at Hunstanton</i>, -<i>after dinner</i>, <i>lamps lit</i>. <i>Door</i> -L.C. <i>Door</i> R.C.</p> -<p>[<i>Ladies seated on sofas</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. What a comfort -it is to have got rid of the men for a little!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Yes; men -persecute us dreadfully, don’t they?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Persecute -us? I wish they did.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. The annoying -thing is that the wretches can be perfectly happy without -us. That is why I think it is every woman’s duty -never to leave them alone for a single moment, except during this -short breathing space after dinner; without which I believe we -poor women would be absolutely worn to shadows.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter Servants with coffee</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Worn to -shadows, dear?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Yes, Lady -Hunstanton. It is such a strain keeping men up to the -mark. They are always trying to escape from us.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. It seems to -me that it is we who are always trying to escape from them. -Men are so very, very heartless. They know their power and -use it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. [<i>Takes -coffee from Servant</i>.] What stuff and nonsense all this -about men is! The thing to do is to keep men in their -proper place.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. But what is -their proper place, Lady Caroline?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Looking after -their wives, Mrs. Allonby.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. [<i>Takes -coffee from Servant</i>.] Really? And if -they’re not married?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. If they are -not married, they should be looking after a wife. -It’s perfectly scandalous the amount of bachelors who are -going about society. There should be a law passed to compel -them all to marry within twelve months.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. [<i>Refuses -coffee</i>.] But if they’re in love with some one -who, perhaps, is tied to another?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. In that case, -Lady Stutfield, they should be married off in a week to some -plain respectable girl, in order to teach them not to meddle with -other people’s property.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I don’t -think that we should ever be spoken of as other people’s -property. All men are married women’s property. -That is the only true definition of what married women’s -property really is. But we don’t belong to any -one.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Oh, I am so -very, very glad to hear you say so.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. But do you -really think, dear Caroline, that legislation would improve -matters in any way? I am told that, nowadays, all the -married men live like bachelors, and all the bachelors like -married men.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I certainly -never know one from the other.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Oh, I think -one can always know at once whether a man has home claims upon -his life or not. I have noticed a very, very sad expression -in the eyes of so many married men.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Ah, all that I -have noticed is that they are horribly tedious when they are good -husbands, and abominably conceited when they are not.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Well, I -suppose the type of husband has completely changed since my young -days, but I’m bound to state that poor dear Hunstanton was -the most delightful of creatures, and as good as gold.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Ah, my husband -is a sort of promissory note; I’m tired of meeting him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. But you renew -him from time to time, don’t you?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Oh no, Lady -Caroline. I have only had one husband as yet. I -suppose you look upon me as quite an amateur.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. With your -views on life I wonder you married at all.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. So do I.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear -child, I believe you are really very happy in your married life, -but that you like to hide your happiness from others.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I assure you I -was horribly deceived in Ernest.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Oh, I hope -not, dear. I knew his mother quite well. She was a -Stratton, Caroline, one of Lord Crowland’s daughters.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Victoria -Stratton? I remember her perfectly. A silly -fair-haired woman with no chin.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Ah, Ernest has -a chin. He has a very strong chin, a square chin. -Ernest’s chin is far too square.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. But do you -really think a man’s chin can be too square? I think -a man should look very, very strong, and that his chin should be -quite, quite square.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Then you should -certainly know Ernest, Lady Stutfield. It is only fair to -tell you beforehand he has got no conversation at all.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. I adore -silent men.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Oh, Ernest -isn’t silent. He talks the whole time. But he -has got no conversation. What he talks about I don’t -know. I haven’t listened to him for years.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Have you -never forgiven him then? How sad that seems! But all -life is very, very sad, is it not?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Life, Lady -Stutfield, is simply a <i>mauvais quart d’heure</i> made up -of exquisite moments.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Yes, there -are moments, certainly. But was it something very, very -wrong that Mr. Allonby did? Did he become angry with you, -and say anything that was unkind or true?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Oh dear, -no. Ernest is invariably calm. That is one of the -reasons he always gets on my nerves. Nothing is so -aggravating as calmness. There is something positively -brutal about the good temper of most modern men. I wonder -we women stand it as well as we do.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Yes; -men’s good temper shows they are not so sensitive as we -are, not so finely strung. It makes a great barrier often -between husband and wife, does it not? But I would so much -like to know what was the wrong thing Mr. Allonby did.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Well, I will -tell you, if you solemnly promise to tell everybody else.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Thank you, -thank you. I will make a point of repeating it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. When Ernest and -I were engaged, he swore to me positively on his knees that he -had never loved any one before in the whole course of his -life. I was very young at the time, so I didn’t -believe him, I needn’t tell you. Unfortunately, -however, I made no enquiries of any kind till after I had been -actually married four or five months. I found out then that -what he had told me was perfectly true. And that sort of -thing makes a man so absolutely uninteresting.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Men always want -to be a woman’s first love. That is their clumsy -vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about -things. What we like is to be a man’s last -romance.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. I see what -you mean. It’s very, very beautiful.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear -child, you don’t mean to tell me that you won’t -forgive your husband because he never loved any one else? -Did you ever hear such a thing, Caroline? I am quite -surprised.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Oh, women have -become so highly educated, Jane, that nothing should surprise us -nowadays, except happy marriages. They apparently are -getting remarkably rare.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Oh, -they’re quite out of date.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Except -amongst the middle classes, I have been told.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. How like the -middle classes!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Yes—is -it not?—very, very like them.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. If what you -tell us about the middle classes is true, Lady Stutfield, it -redounds greatly to their credit. It is much to be -regretted that in our rank of life the wife should be so -persistently frivolous, under the impression apparently that it -is the proper thing to be. It is to that I attribute the -unhappiness of so many marriages we all know of in society.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Do you know, -Lady Caroline, I don’t think the frivolity of the wife has -ever anything to do with it. More marriages are ruined nowadays -by the common sense of the husband than by anything else. -How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on -treating her as if she were a perfectly rational being?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Man, poor, -awkward, reliable, necessary man belongs to a sex that has been -rational for millions and millions of years. He can’t -help himself. It is in his race. The History of Woman -is very different. We have always been picturesque protests -against the mere existence of common sense. We saw its -dangers from the first.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Yes, the -common sense of husbands is certainly most, most trying. Do -tell me your conception of the Ideal Husband. I think it -would be so very, very helpful.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. The Ideal -Husband? There couldn’t be such a thing. The -institution is wrong.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. The Ideal -Man, then, in his relations to <i>us</i>.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. He would -probably be extremely realistic.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. The Ideal -Man! Oh, the Ideal Man should talk to us as if we were -goddesses, and treat us as if we were children. He should -refuse all our serious requests, and gratify every one of our -whims. He should encourage us to have caprices, and forbid -us to have missions. He should always say much more than he -means, and always mean much more than he says.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. But how -could he do both, dear?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. He should never -run down other pretty women. That would show he had no -taste, or make one suspect that he had too much. No; he -should be nice about them all, but say that somehow they -don’t attract him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Yes, that is -always very, very pleasant to hear about other women.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. If we ask him a -question about anything, he should give us an answer all about -ourselves. He should invariably praise us for whatever -qualities he knows we haven’t got. But he should be -pitiless, quite pitiless, in reproaching us for the virtues that -we have never dreamed of possessing. He should never -believe that we know the use of useful things. That would -be unforgiveable. But he should shower on us everything we -don’t want.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. As far as I -can see, he is to do nothing but pay bills and compliments.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. He should -persistently compromise us in public, and treat us with absolute -respect when we are alone. And yet he should be always -ready to have a perfectly terrible scene, whenever we want one, -and to become miserable, absolutely miserable, at a -moment’s notice, and to overwhelm us with just reproaches -in less than twenty minutes, and to be positively violent at the -end of half an hour, and to leave us for ever at a quarter to -eight, when we have to go and dress for dinner. And when, -after that, one has seen him for really the last time, and he has -refused to take back the little things he has given one, and -promised never to communicate with one again, or to write one any -foolish letters, he should be perfectly broken-hearted, and -telegraph to one all day long, and send one little notes every -half-hour by a private hansom, and dine quite alone at the club, -so that every one should know how unhappy he was. And after -a whole dreadful week, during which one has gone about everywhere -with one’s husband, just to show how absolutely lonely one -was, he may be given a third last parting, in the evening, and -then, if his conduct has been quite irreproachable, and one has -behaved really badly to him, he should be allowed to admit that -he has been entirely in the wrong, and when he has admitted that, -it becomes a woman’s duty to forgive, and one can do it all -over again from the beginning, with variations.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. How clever -you are, my dear! You never mean a single word you say.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Thank you, -thank you. It has been quite, quite entrancing. I -must try and remember it all. There are such a number of -details that are so very, very important.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. But you have -not told us yet what the reward of the Ideal Man is to be.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. His -reward? Oh, infinite expectation. That is quite -enough for him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. But men are -so terribly, terribly exacting, are they not?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. That makes no -matter. One should never surrender.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Not even to -the Ideal Man?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Certainly not -to him. Unless, of course, one wants to grow tired of -him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Oh! . . . -yes. I see that. It is very, very helpful. Do -you think, Mrs. Allonby, I shall ever meet the Ideal Man? -Or are there more than one?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. There are just -four in London, Lady Stutfield.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Oh, my -dear!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. [<i>Going over -to her</i>.] What has happened? Do tell me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span> [<i>in a low -voice</i>] I had completely forgotten that the American -young lady has been in the room all the time. I am afraid -some of this clever talk may have shocked her a little.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Ah, that will -do her so much good!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Let us hope -she didn’t understand much. I think I had better go -over and talk to her. [<i>Rises and goes across to</i> -<span class="smcap">Hester Worsley</span>.] Well, dear Miss -Worsley. [<i>Sitting down beside her</i>.] How quiet you -have been in your nice little corner all this time! I -suppose you have been reading a book? There are so many -books here in the library.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. No, I have been -listening to the conversation.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. You -mustn’t believe everything that was said, you know, -dear.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. I didn’t -believe any of it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. That is -quite right, dear.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. -[<i>Continuing</i>.] I couldn’t believe that any -women could really hold such views of life as I have heard -to-night from some of your guests. [<i>An awkward -pause</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. I hear you -have such pleasant society in America. Quite like our own -in places, my son wrote to me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. There are cliques in -America as elsewhere, Lady Hunstanton. But true American -society consists simply of all the good women and good men we -have in our country.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. What a -sensible system, and I dare say quite pleasant too. I am -afraid in England we have too many artificial social -barriers. We don’t see as much as we should of the -middle and lower classes.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. In America we have no -lower classes.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. -Really? What a very strange arrangement!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. What is that -dreadful girl talking about?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. She is -painfully natural, is she not?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. There are a -great many things you haven’t got in America, I am told, -Miss Worsley. They say you have no ruins, and no -curiosities.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. [<i>To</i> -<span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>.] What -nonsense! They have their mothers and their manners.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. The English -aristocracy supply us with our curiosities, Lady Caroline. -They are sent over to us every summer, regularly, in the -steamers, and propose to us the day after they land. As for -ruins, we are trying to build up something that will last longer -than brick or stone. [<i>Gets up to take her fan from -table</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. What is -that, dear? Ah, yes, an iron Exhibition, is it not, at that -place that has the curious name?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. [<i>Standing by -table</i>.] We are trying to build up life, Lady -Hunstanton, on a better, truer, purer basis than life rests on -here. This sounds strange to you all, no doubt. How -could it sound other than strange? You rich people in -England, you don’t know how you are living. How could -you know? You shut out from your society the gentle and the -good. You laugh at the simple and the pure. Living, -as you all do, on others and by them, you sneer at -self-sacrifice, and if you throw bread to the poor, it is merely -to keep them quiet for a season. With all your pomp and -wealth and art you don’t know how to live—you -don’t even know that. You love the beauty that you -can see and touch and handle, the beauty that you can destroy, -and do destroy, but of the unseen beauty of life, of the unseen -beauty of a higher life, you know nothing. You have lost -life’s secret. Oh, your English society seems to me -shallow, selfish, foolish. It has blinded its eyes, and -stopped its ears. It lies like a leper in purple. It -sits like a dead thing smeared with gold. It is all wrong, -all wrong.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. I don’t -think one should know of these things. It is not very, very -nice, is it?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear Miss -Worsley, I thought you liked English society so much. You -were such a success in it. And you were so much admired by -the best people. I quite forget what Lord Henry Weston said -of you—but it was most complimentary, and you know what an -authority he is on beauty.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Lord Henry -Weston! I remember him, Lady Hunstanton. A man with a -hideous smile and a hideous past. He is asked -everywhere. No dinner-party is complete without him. -What of those whose ruin is due to him? They are -outcasts. They are nameless. If you met them in the -street you would turn your head away. I don’t -complain of their punishment. Let all women who have sinned -be punished.</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span> <i>enters from -terrace behind in a cloak with a lace veil over her -head</i>. <i>She hears the last words and starts</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear -young lady!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. It is right that they -should be punished, but don’t let them be the only ones to -suffer. If a man and woman have sinned, let them both go -forth into the desert to love or loathe each other there. -Let them both be branded. Set a mark, if you wish, on each, -but don’t punish the one and let the other go free. -Don’t have one law for men and another for women. You -are unjust to women in England. And till you count what is -a shame in a woman to be an infamy in a man, you will always be -unjust, and Right, that pillar of fire, and Wrong, that pillar of -cloud, will be made dim to your eyes, or be not seen at all, or -if seen, not regarded.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Might I, dear -Miss Worsley, as you are standing up, ask you for my cotton that -is just behind you? Thank you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear Mrs. -Arbuthnot! I am so pleased you have come up. But I -didn’t hear you announced.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Oh, I came -straight in from the terrace, Lady Hunstanton, just as I -was. You didn’t tell me you had a party.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Not a -party. Only a few guests who are staying in the house, and -whom you must know. Allow me. [<i>Tries to help -her</i>. <i>Rings bell</i>.] Caroline, this is Mrs. -Arbuthnot, one of my sweetest friends. Lady Caroline -Pontefract, Lady Stutfield, Mrs. Allonby, and my young American -friend, Miss Worsley, who has just been telling us all how wicked -we are.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. I am afraid you think -I spoke too strongly, Lady Hunstanton. But there are some -things in England—</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear -young lady, there was a great deal of truth, I dare say, in what -you said, and you looked very pretty while you said it, which is -much more important, Lord Illingworth would tell us. The -only point where I thought you were a little hard was about Lady -Caroline’s brother, about poor Lord Henry. He is -really such good company.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter Footman</i>.]</p> -<p>Take Mrs. Arbuthnot’s things.</p> -<p>[<i>Exit Footman with wraps</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Lady Caroline, I had -no idea it was your brother. I am sorry for the pain I must -have caused you—I—</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. My dear Miss -Worsley, the only part of your little speech, if I may so term -it, with which I thoroughly agreed, was the part about my -brother. Nothing that you could possibly say could be too -bad for him. I regard Henry as infamous, absolutely -infamous. But I am bound to state, as you were remarking, -Jane, that he is excellent company, and he has one of the best -cooks in London, and after a good dinner one can forgive anybody, -even one’s own relations.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span> [<i>to</i> <span -class="smcap">Miss Worsley</span>] Now, do come, dear, and -make friends with Mrs. Arbuthnot. She is one of the good, -sweet, simple people you told us we never admitted into -society. I am sorry to say Mrs. Arbuthnot comes very rarely -to me. But that is not my fault.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. What a bore it -is the men staying so long after dinner! I expect they are -saying the most dreadful things about us.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. Do you really -think so?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I was sure of -it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. How very, -very horrid of them! Shall we go onto the terrace?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Oh, anything to -get away from the dowagers and the dowdies. [<i>Rises and -goes with</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span> <i>to -door</i> L.C.] We are only going to look at the stars, Lady -Hunstanton.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. You will -find a great many, dear, a great many. But don’t -catch cold. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. -Arbuthnot</span>.] We shall all miss Gerald so much, dear -Mrs. Arbuthnot.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. But has Lord -Illingworth really offered to make Gerald his secretary?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Oh, -yes! He has been most charming about it. He has the -highest possible opinion of your boy. You don’t know -Lord Illingworth, I believe, dear.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I have never -met him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. You know him -by name, no doubt?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I am afraid I -don’t. I live so much out of the world, and see so -few people. I remember hearing years ago of an old Lord -Illingworth who lived in Yorkshire, I think.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah, -yes. That would be the last Earl but one. He was a -very curious man. He wanted to marry beneath him. Or -wouldn’t, I believe. There was some scandal about -it. The present Lord Illingworth is quite different. -He is very distinguished. He does—well, he does -nothing, which I am afraid our pretty American visitor here -thinks very wrong of anybody, and I don’t know that he -cares much for the subjects in which you are so interested, dear -Mrs. Arbuthnot. Do you think, Caroline, that Lord -Illingworth is interested in the Housing of the Poor?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I should fancy -not at all, Jane.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. We all have -our different tastes, have we not? But Lord Illingworth has -a very high position, and there is nothing he couldn’t get -if he chose to ask for it. Of course, he is comparatively a -young man still, and he has only come to his title -within—how long exactly is it, Caroline, since Lord -Illingworth succeeded?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. About four -years, I think, Jane. I know it was the same year in which -my brother had his last exposure in the evening newspapers.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah, I -remember. That would be about four years ago. Of -course, there were a great many people between the present Lord -Illingworth and the title, Mrs. Arbuthnot. There -was—who was there, Caroline?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. There was poor -Margaret’s baby. You remember how anxious she was to -have a boy, and it was a boy, but it died, and her husband died -shortly afterwards, and she married almost immediately one of -Lord Ascot’s sons, who, I am told, beats her.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah, that is -in the family, dear, that is in the family. And there was -also, I remember, a clergyman who wanted to be a lunatic, or a -lunatic who wanted to be a clergyman, I forget which, but I know -the Court of Chancery investigated the matter, and decided that -he was quite sane. And I saw him afterwards at poor Lord -Plumstead’s with straws in his hair, or something very odd -about him. I can’t recall what. I often regret, -Lady Caroline, that dear Lady Cecilia never lived to see her son -get the title.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Lady -Cecilia?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Lord -Illingworth’s mother, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, was one of the -Duchess of Jerningham’s pretty daughters, and she married -Sir Thomas Harford, who wasn’t considered a very good match -for her at the time, though he was said to be the handsomest man -in London. I knew them all quite intimately, and both the -sons, Arthur and George.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. It was the -eldest son who succeeded, of course, Lady Hunstanton?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. No, dear, he -was killed in the hunting field. Or was it fishing, -Caroline? I forget. But George came in for -everything. I always tell him that no younger son has ever -had such good luck as he has had.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Lady -Hunstanton, I want to speak to Gerald at once. Might I see -him? Can he be sent for?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Certainly, -dear. I will send one of the servants into the dining-room -to fetch him. I don’t know what keeps the gentlemen -so long. [<i>Rings bell</i>.] When I knew Lord -Illingworth first as plain George Harford, he was simply a very -brilliant young man about town, with not a penny of money except -what poor dear Lady Cecilia gave him. She was quite devoted -to him. Chiefly, I fancy, because he was on bad terms with -his father. Oh, here is the dear Archdeacon. [<i>To -Servant</i>.] It doesn’t matter.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Sir John</span> <i>and</i> -<span class="smcap">Doctor Daubeny</span>. <span -class="smcap">Sir John</span> <i>goes over to</i> <span -class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>, <span class="smcap">Doctor -Daubeny</span> <i>to</i> <span class="smcap">Lady -Hunstanton</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">The Archdeacon</span>. Lord -Illingworth has been most entertaining. I have never -enjoyed myself more. [<i>Sees</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. -Arbuthnot</span>.] Ah, Mrs. Arbuthnot.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. [<i>To</i> -<span class="smcap">Doctor Baubeny</span>.] You see I have -got Mrs. Arbuthnot to come to me at last.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">The Archdeacon</span>. That is a -great honour, Lady Hunstanton. Mrs. Daubeny will be quite -jealous of you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah, I am so -sorry Mrs. Daubeny could not come with you to-night. -Headache as usual, I suppose.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">The Archdeacon</span>. Yes, Lady -Hunstanton; a perfect martyr. But she is happiest -alone. She is happiest alone.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. [<i>To her -husband</i>.] John! [<span class="smcap">Sir -John</span> <i>goes over to his wife</i>. <span -class="smcap">Doctor Baubeny</span> <i>talks to</i> <span -class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span> <i>and</i> <span -class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>.]</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span> watches <span -class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span> the whole time. He -has passed across the room without noticing her, and approaches -<span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>, who with <span -class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span> is standing by the door -looking on to the terrace.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. How is the -most charming woman in the world?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. [Taking <span -class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span> by the hand.] We are -both quite well, thank you, Lord Illingworth. But what a -short time you have been in the dining-room! It seems as if -we had only just left.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I was bored -to death. Never opened my lips the whole time. -Absolutely longing to come in to you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. You should -have. The American girl has been giving us a lecture.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. -Really? All Americans lecture, I believe. I suppose -it is something in their climate. What did she lecture -about?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Oh, Puritanism, -of course.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I am going -to convert her, am I not? How long do you give me?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. A week.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. A week is -more than enough.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald</span> <i>and</i> -<span class="smcap">Lord Alfred</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. [<i>Going to</i> -<span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>.] Dear -mother!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Gerald, I -don’t feel at all well. See me home, Gerald. I -shouldn’t have come.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I am so sorry, -mother. Certainly. But you must know Lord Illingworth -first. [<i>Goes across room</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Not to-night, -Gerald.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Lord Illingworth, I -want you so much to know my mother.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. With the -greatest pleasure. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. -Allonby</span>.] I’ll be back in a moment. -People’s mothers always bore me to death. All women -become like their mothers. That is their tragedy.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. No man -does. That is his.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. What a -delightful mood you are in to-night! [<i>Turns round and -goes across with</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald</span> <i>to</i> -<span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. <i>When he sees -her</i>, <i>he starts back in wonder</i>. <i>Then slowly -his eyes turn towards</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, this is Lord -Illingworth, who has offered to take me as his private -secretary. [<span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span> -<i>bows coldly</i>.] It is a wonderful opening for me, -isn’t it? I hope he won’t be disappointed in -me, that is all. You’ll thank Lord Illingworth, -mother, won’t you?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Lord -Illingworth in very good, I am sure, to interest himself in you -for the moment.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. [<i>Putting -his hand on</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald’s</span> -<i>shoulder</i>.] Oh, Gerald and I are great friends -already, Mrs . . . Arbuthnot.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. There can be -nothing in common between you and my son, Lord Illingworth.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Dear mother, how can -you say so? Of course Lord Illingworth is awfully clever -and that sort of thing. There is nothing Lord Illingworth -doesn’t know.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. My dear -boy!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. He knows more about -life than any one I have ever met. I feel an awful duffer -when I am with you, Lord Illingworth. Of course, I have had -so few advantages. I have not been to Eton or Oxford like -other chaps. But Lord Illingworth doesn’t seem to -mind that. He has been awfully good to me, mother.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Lord -Illingworth may change his mind. He may not really want you -as his secretary.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. You must -remember, as you said yourself, you have had so few -advantages.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Lord -Illingworth, I want to speak to you for a moment. Do come -over.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Will you -excuse me, Mrs. Arbuthnot? Now, don’t let your -charming mother make any more difficulties, Gerald. The -thing is quite settled, isn’t it?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I hope so. -[<span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span> <i>goes across -to</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I thought you -were never going to leave the lady in black velvet.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. She is -excessively handsome. [<i>Looks at</i> <span -class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Caroline, -shall we all make a move to the music-room? Miss Worsley is -going to play. You’ll come too, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, -won’t you? You don’t know what a treat is in -store for you. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Doctor -Baubeny</span>.] I must really take Miss Worsley down some -afternoon to the rectory. I should so much like dear Mrs. -Daubeny to hear her on the violin. Ah, I forgot. Dear -Mrs. Daubeny’s hearing is a little defective, is it -not?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">The Archdeacon</span>. Her deafness -is a great privation to her. She can’t even hear my -sermons now. She reads them at home. But she has many -resources in herself, many resources.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. She reads a -good deal, I suppose?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">The Archdeacon</span>. Just the very -largest print. The eyesight is rapidly going. But -she’s never morbid, never morbid.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. [<i>To</i> <span -class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>.] Do speak to my -mother, Lord Illingworth, before you go into the -music-room. She seems to think, somehow, you don’t -mean what you said to me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Aren’t -you coming?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. In a few -moments. Lady Hunstanton, if Mrs. Arbuthnot would allow me, -I would like to say a few words to her, and we will join you -later on.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah, of -course. You will have a great deal to say to her, and she -will have a great deal to thank you for. It is not every -son who gets such an offer, Mrs. Arbuthnot. But I know you -appreciate that, dear.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. John!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Now, -don’t keep Mrs. Arbuthnot too long, Lord Illingworth. -We can’t spare her.</p> -<p>[<i>Exit following the other guests</i>. <i>Sound of -violin heard from music-room</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. So that is -our son, Rachel! Well, I am very proud of him. He in -a Harford, every inch of him. By the way, why Arbuthnot, -Rachel?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. One name is -as good as another, when one has no right to any name.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I suppose -so—but why Gerald?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. After a man -whose heart I broke—after my father.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Well, -Rachel, what is over is over. All I have got to say now in -that I am very, very much pleased with our boy. The world -will know him merely as my private secretary, but to me he will -be something very near, and very dear. It is a curious -thing, Rachel; my life seemed to be quite complete. It was -not so. It lacked something, it lacked a son. I have -found my son now, I am glad I have found him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. You have no -right to claim him, or the smallest part of him. The boy is -entirely mine, and shall remain mine.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. My dear -Rachel, you have had him to yourself for over twenty years. -Why not let me have him for a little now? He is quite as -much mine as yours.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Are you -talking of the child you abandoned? Of the child who, as -far as you are concerned, might have died of hunger and of -want?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. You forget, -Rachel, it was you who left me. It was not I who left -you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I left you -because you refused to give the child a name. Before my son -was born, I implored you to marry me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I had no -expectations then. And besides, Rachel, I wasn’t much -older than you were. I was only twenty-two. I was -twenty-one, I believe, when the whole thing began in your -father’s garden.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. When a man is -old enough to do wrong he should be old enough to do right -also.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. My dear -Rachel, intellectual generalities are always interesting, but -generalities in morals mean absolutely nothing. As for -saying I left our child to starve, that, of course, is untrue and -silly. My mother offered you six hundred a year. But -you wouldn’t take anything. You simply disappeared, -and carried the child away with you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I -wouldn’t have accepted a penny from her. Your father -was different. He told you, in my presence, when we were in -Paris, that it was your duty to marry me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Oh, duty is -what one expects from others, it is not what one does -oneself. Of course, I was influenced by my mother. -Every man is when he is young.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I am glad to -hear you say so. Gerald shall certainly not go away with -you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. What -nonsense, Rachel!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Do you think -I would allow my son—</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. <i>Our</i> -son.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. My son [<span -class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span> <i>shrugs his -shoulders</i>]—to go away with the man who spoiled my -youth, who ruined my life, who has tainted every moment of my -days? You don’t realise what my past has been in -suffering and in shame.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. My dear -Rachel, I must candidly say that I think Gerald’s future -considerably more important than your past.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Gerald cannot -separate his future from my past.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. That is -exactly what he should do. That is exactly what you should -help him to do. What a typical woman you are! You -talk sentimentally, and you are thoroughly selfish the whole -time. But don’t let us have a scene. Rachel, I -want you to look at this matter from the common-sense point of -view, from the point of view of what is best for our son, leaving -you and me out of the question. What is our son at -present? An underpaid clerk in a small Provincial Bank in a -third-rate English town. If you imagine he is quite happy -in such a position, you are mistaken. He is thoroughly -discontented.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. He was not -discontented till he met you. You have made him so.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Of course, -I made him so. Discontent is the first step in the progress -of a man or a nation. But I did not leave him with a mere -longing for things he could not get. No, I made him a -charming offer. He jumped at it, I need hardly say. -Any young man would. And now, simply because it turns out -that I am the boy’s own father and he my own son, you -propose practically to ruin his career. That is to say, if -I were a perfect stranger, you would allow Gerald to go away with -me, but as he is my own flesh and blood you won’t. -How utterly illogical you are!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I will not -allow him to go.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. How can you -prevent it? What excuse can you give to him for making him -decline such an offer as mine? I won’t tell him in -what relations I stand to him, I need hardly say. But you -daren’t tell him. You know that. Look how you -have brought him up.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I have -brought him up to be a good man.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Quite -so. And what is the result? You have educated him to -be your judge if he ever finds you out. And a bitter, an -unjust judge he will be to you. Don’t be deceived, -Rachel. Children begin by loving their parents. After -a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive -them.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. George, -don’t take my son away from me. I have had twenty -years of sorrow, and I have only had one thing to love me, only -one thing to love. You have had a life of joy, and -pleasure, and success. You have been quite happy, you have -never thought of us. There was no reason, according to your -views of life, why you should have remembered us at all. -Your meeting us was a mere accident, a horrible accident. -Forget it. Don’t come now, and rob me of . . . of all -I have in the whole world. You are so rich in other -things. Leave me the little vineyard of my life; leave me -the walled-in garden and the well of water; the ewe-lamb God sent -me, in pity or in wrath, oh! leave me that. George, -don’t take Gerald from me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Rachel, at -the present moment you are not necessary to Gerald’s -career; I am. There is nothing more to be said on the -subject.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I will not -let him go.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Here is -Gerald. He has a right to decide for himself.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Well, dear mother, I -hope you have settled it all with Lord Illingworth?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I have not, -Gerald.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Your mother -seems not to like your coming with me, for some reason.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Why, mother?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I thought you -were quite happy here with me, Gerald. I didn’t know -you were so anxious to leave me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, how can you -talk like that? Of course I have been quite happy with -you. But a man can’t stay always with his -mother. No chap does. I want to make myself a -position, to do something. I thought you would have been -proud to see me Lord Illingworth’s secretary.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I do not -think you would be suitable as a private secretary to Lord -Illingworth. You have no qualifications.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I -don’t wish to seem to interfere for a moment, Mrs. -Arbuthnot, but as far as your last objection is concerned, I -surely am the best judge. And I can only tell you that your -son has all the qualifications I had hoped for. He has -more, in fact, than I had even thought of. Far more. -[<span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span> <i>remains -silent</i>.] Have you any other reason, Mrs. Arbuthnot, why -you don’t wish your son to accept this post?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Have you, -mother? Do answer.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. If you -have, Mrs. Arbuthnot, pray, pray say it. We are quite by -ourselves here. Whatever it is, I need not say I will not -repeat it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. If you -would like to be alone with your son, I will leave you. You -may have some other reason you don’t wish me to hear.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I have no -other reason.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Then, my -dear boy, we may look on the thing as settled. Come, you -and I will smoke a cigarette on the terrace together. And -Mrs. Arbuthnot, pray let me tell you, that I think you have acted -very, very wisely.</p> -<p>[<i>Exit with</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. -<span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span> <i>is left -alone</i>. <i>She stands immobile with a look of -unutterable sorrow on her face</i>.]</p> -<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Act -Drop</span></p> -<h2>THIRD ACT</h2> -<p style="text-align: center">SCENE</p> -<p style="text-align: center"><i>The Picture Gallery at -Hunstanton</i>. <i>Door at back leading on to -terrace</i>.</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span> <i>and</i> <span -class="smcap">Gerald</span>, R.C. <span class="smcap">Lord -Illingworth</span> <i>lolling on a sofa</i>. <span -class="smcap">Gerald</span> <i>in a chair</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Thoroughly -sensible woman, your mother, Gerald. I knew she would come -round in the end.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. My mother is awfully -conscientious, Lord Illingworth, and I know she doesn’t -think I am educated enough to be your secretary. She is -perfectly right, too. I was fearfully idle when I was at -school, and I couldn’t pass an examination now to save my -life.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. My dear -Gerald, examinations are of no value whatsoever. If a man -is a gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if he is not a -gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. But I am so ignorant -of the world, Lord Illingworth.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Don’t -be afraid, Gerald. Remember that you’ve got on your -side the most wonderful thing in the world—youth! -There is nothing like youth. The middle-aged are mortgaged -to Life. The old are in life’s lumber-room. But -youth is the Lord of Life. Youth has a kingdom waiting for -it. Every one is born a king, and most people die in exile, -like most kings. To win back my youth, Gerald, there is -nothing I wouldn’t do—except take exercise, get up -early, or be a useful member of the community.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. But you don’t -call yourself old, Lord Illingworth?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I am old -enough to be your father, Gerald.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I don’t -remember my father; he died years ago.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. So Lady -Hunstanton told me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. It is very curious, -my mother never talks to me about my father. I sometimes -think she must have married beneath her.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. [<i>Winces -slightly</i>.] Really? [<i>Goes over and puts his -hand on</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald’s</span> -<i>shoulder</i>.] You have missed not having a father, I -suppose, Gerald?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Oh, no; my mother has -been so good to me. No one ever had such a mother as I have -had.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I am quite -sure of that. Still I should imagine that most mothers -don’t quite understand their sons. Don’t -realise, I mean, that a son has ambitions, a desire to see life, -to make himself a name. After all, Gerald, you -couldn’t be expected to pass all your life in such a hole -as Wrockley, could you?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Oh, no! It -would be dreadful!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. A -mother’s love is very touching, of course, but it is often -curiously selfish. I mean, there is a good deal of -selfishness in it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. -[<i>Slowly</i>.] I suppose there is.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Your mother -is a thoroughly good woman. But good women have such -limited views of life, their horizon is so small, their interests -are so petty, aren’t they?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. They are awfully -interested, certainly, in things we don’t care much -about.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I suppose -your mother is very religious, and that sort of thing.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Oh, yes, she’s -always going to church.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Ah! she is -not modern, and to be modern is the only thing worth being -nowadays. You want to be modern, don’t you, -Gerald? You want to know life as it really is. Not to -be put off with any old-fashioned theories about life. Well, -what you have to do at present is simply to fit yourself for the -best society. A man who can dominate a London dinner-table -can dominate the world. The future belongs to the -dandy. It is the exquisites who are going to rule.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I should like to wear -nice things awfully, but I have always been told that a man -should not think too much about his clothes.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. People -nowadays are so absolutely superficial that they don’t -understand the philosophy of the superficial. By the way, -Gerald, you should learn how to tie your tie better. -Sentiment is all very well for the button-hole. But the -essential thing for a necktie is style. A well-tied tie is -the first serious step in life.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. -[<i>Laughing</i>.] I might be able to learn how to tie a -tie, Lord Illingworth, but I should never be able to talk as you -do. I don’t know how to talk.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Oh! talk to -every woman as if you loved her, and to every man as if he bored -you, and at the end of your first season you will have the -reputation of possessing the most perfect social tact.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. But it is very -difficult to get into society isn’t it?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. To get into -the best society, nowadays, one has either to feed people, amuse -people, or shock people—that is all!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I suppose society is -wonderfully delightful!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. To be in it -is merely a bore. But to be out of it simply a -tragedy. Society is a necessary thing. No man has any -real success in this world unless he has got women to back him, -and women rule society. If you have not got women on your -side you are quite over. You might just as well be a -barrister, or a stockbroker, or a journalist at once.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. It is very difficult -to understand women, is it not?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. You should -never try to understand them. Women are pictures. Men -are problems. If you want to know what a woman really -means—which, by the way, is always a dangerous thing to -do—look at her, don’t listen to her.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. But women are awfully -clever, aren’t they?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. One should -always tell them so. But, to the philosopher, my dear -Gerald, women represent the triumph of matter over -mind—just as men represent the triumph of mind over -morals.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. How then can women -have so much power as you say they have?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. The history -of women is the history of the worst form of tyranny the world -has ever known. The tyranny of the weak over the -strong. It is the only tyranny that lasts.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. But haven’t -women got a refining influence?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Nothing -refines but the intellect.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Still, there are many -different kinds of women, aren’t there?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Only two -kinds in society: the plain and the coloured.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. But there are good -women in society, aren’t there?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Far too -many.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. But do you think -women shouldn’t be good?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. One should -never tell them so, they’d all become good at once. -Women are a fascinatingly wilful sex. Every woman is a -rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. You have never been -married, Lord Illingworth, have you?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Men marry -because they are tired; women because they are curious. -Both are disappointed.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. But don’t you -think one can be happy when one is married?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Perfectly -happy. But the happiness of a married man, my dear Gerald, -depends on the people he has not married.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. But if one is in -love?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. One should -always be in love. That is the reason one should never -marry.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Love is a very -wonderful thing, isn’t it?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. When one is -in love one begins by deceiving oneself. And one ends by -deceiving others. That is what the world calls a -romance. But a really <i>grande passion</i> is -comparatively rare nowadays. It is the privilege of people -who have nothing to do. That is the one use of the idle -classes in a country, and the only possible explanation of us -Harfords.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Harfords, Lord -Illingworth?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. That is my -family name. You should study the Peerage, Gerald. It -is the one book a young man about town should know thoroughly, -and it is the best thing in fiction the English have ever -done. And now, Gerald, you are going into a perfectly new -life with me, and I want you to know how to live. [<span -class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span> <i>appears on terrace -behind</i>.] For the world has been made by fools that wise -men should live in it!</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> L.C. <span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span> -<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Dr. Daubeny</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah! here you -are, dear Lord Illingworth. Well, I suppose you have been -telling our young friend, Gerald, what his new duties are to be, -and giving him a great deal of good advice over a pleasant -cigarette.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I have been -giving him the best of advice, Lady Hunstanton, and the best of -cigarettes.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. I am so -sorry I was not here to listen to you, but I suppose I am too old -now to learn. Except from you, dear Archdeacon, when you -are in your nice pulpit. But then I always know what you -are going to say, so I don’t feel alarmed. -[<i>Sees</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>.] -Ah! dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, do come and join us. Come, -dear. [<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. -Arbuthnot</span>.] Gerald has been having such a long talk -with Lord Illingworth; I am sure you must feel very much -flattered at the pleasant way in which everything has turned out -for him. Let us sit down. [<i>They sit -down</i>.] And how is your beautiful embroidery going -on?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I am always -at work, Lady Hunstanton.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Mrs. Daubeny -embroiders a little, too, doesn’t she?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">The Archdeacon</span>. She was very -deft with her needle once, quite a Dorcas. But the gout has -crippled her fingers a good deal. She has not touched the -tambour frame for nine or ten years. But she has many other -amusements. She is very much interested in her own -health.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah! that is -always a nice distraction, in it not? Now, what are you -talking about, Lord Illingworth? Do tell us.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I was on -the point of explaining to Gerald that the world has always -laughed at its own tragedies, that being the only way in which it -has been able to bear them. And that, consequently, -whatever the world has treated seriously belongs to the comedy -side of things.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Now I am -quite out of my depth. I usually am when Lord Illingworth -says anything. And the Humane Society is most -careless. They never rescue me. I am left to -sink. I have a dim idea, dear Lord Illingworth, that you -are always on the side of the sinners, and I know I always try to -be on the side of the saints, but that is as far as I get. -And after all, it may be merely the fancy of a drowning -person.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. The only -difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint -has a past, and every sinner has a future.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah! that -quite does for me. I haven’t a word to say. You -and I, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, are behind the age. We -can’t follow Lord Illingworth. Too much care was -taken with our education, I am afraid. To have been well -brought up is a great drawback nowadays. It shuts one out -from so much.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I should be -sorry to follow Lord Illingworth in any of his opinions.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. You are -quite right, dear.</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Gerald</span> <i>shrugs his shoulders and -looks irritably over at his mother</i>. <i>Enter</i> <span -class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Jane, have you -seen John anywhere?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. You -needn’t be anxious about him, dear. He is with Lady -Stutfield; I saw them some time ago, in the Yellow -Drawing-room. They seem quite happy together. You are -not going, Caroline? Pray sit down.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. I think I had -better look after John.</p> -<p>[<i>Exit</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. It -doesn’t do to pay men so much attention. And Caroline -has really nothing to be anxious about. Lady Stutfield is -very sympathetic. She is just as sympathetic about one -thing as she is about another. A beautiful nature.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Sir John</span> <i>and</i> -<span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>.]</p> -<p>Ah! here is Sir John! And with Mrs. Allonby too! I -suppose it was Mrs. Allonby I saw him with. Sir John, -Caroline has been looking everywhere for you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. We have been -waiting for her in the Music-room, dear Lady Hunstanton.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah! the -Music-room, of course. I thought it was the Yellow -Drawing-room, my memory is getting so defective. [<i>To -the</i> <span class="smcap">Archdeacon</span>.] Mrs. -Daubeny has a wonderful memory, hasn’t she?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">The Archdeacon</span>. She used to -be quite remarkable for her memory, but since her last attack she -recalls chiefly the events of her early childhood. But she -finds great pleasure in such retrospections, great pleasure.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span> -<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mr. Kelvil</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah! dear -Lady Stutfield! and what has Mr. Kelvil been talking to you -about?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. About -Bimetallism, as well as I remember.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. -Bimetallism! Is that quite a nice subject? However, I -know people discuss everything very freely nowadays. What -did Sir John talk to you about, dear Mrs. Allonby?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. About -Patagonia.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. -Really? What a remote topic! But very improving, I -have no doubt.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. He has been -most interesting on the subject of Patagonia. Savages seem -to have quite the same views as cultured people on almost all -subjects. They are excessively advanced.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. What do they -do?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Apparently -everything.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Well, it is -very gratifying, dear Archdeacon, is it not, to find that Human -Nature is permanently one.—On the whole, the world is the -same world, is it not?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. The world -is simply divided into two classes—those who believe the -incredible, like the public—and those who do the -improbable—</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Like -yourself?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Yes; I am -always astonishing myself. It is the only thing that makes -life worth living.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. And what have -you been doing lately that astonishes you?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I have been -discovering all kinds of beautiful qualities in my own -nature.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Ah! don’t -become quite perfect all at once. Do it gradually!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I -don’t intend to grow perfect at all. At least, I hope -I shan’t. It would be most inconvenient. Women -love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they -will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. It is premature -to ask us to forgive analysis. We forgive adoration; that -is quite as much as should be expected from us.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Lord Alfred</span>. -<i>He joins</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah! we women -should forgive everything, shouldn’t we, dear Mrs. -Arbuthnot? I am sure you agree with me in that.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I do not, -Lady Hunstanton. I think there are many things women should -never forgive.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. What sort of -things?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. The ruin of -another woman’s life.</p> -<p>[<i>Moves slowly away to back of stage</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah! those -things are very sad, no doubt, but I believe there are admirable -homes where people of that kind are looked after and reformed, -and I think on the whole that the secret of life is to take -things very, very easily.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. The secret of -life is never to have an emotion that is unbecoming.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>. The secret of -life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly -deceived.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Kelvil</span>. The secret of life is -to resist temptation, Lady Stutfield.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. There is no -secret of life. Life’s aim, if it has one, is simply -to be always looking for temptations. There are not nearly -enough. I sometimes pass a whole day without coming across -a single one. It is quite dreadful. It makes one so -nervous about the future.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. [<i>Shakes -her fan at him</i>.] I don’t know how it is, dear -Lord Illingworth, but everything you have said to-day seems to me -excessively immoral. It has been most interesting, -listening to you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. All thought -is immoral. Its very essence is destruction. If you -think of anything, you kill it. Nothing survives being -thought of.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. I -don’t understand a word, Lord Illingworth. But I have -no doubt it is all quite true. Personally, I have very -little to reproach myself with, on the score of thinking. I -don’t believe in women thinking too much. Women -should think in moderation, as they should do all things in -moderation.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Moderation -is a fatal thing, Lady Hunstanton. Nothing succeeds like -excess.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. I hope I -shall remember that. It sounds an admirable maxim. -But I’m beginning to forget everything. It’s a -great misfortune.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. It is one -of your most fascinating qualities, Lady Hunstanton. No -woman should have a memory. Memory in a woman is the -beginning of dowdiness. One can always tell from a -woman’s bonnet whether she has got a memory or not.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. How charming -you are, dear Lord Illingworth. You always find out that -one’s most glaring fault is one’s most important -virtue. You have the most comforting views of life.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Farquhar</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Farquhar</span>. Doctor -Daubeny’s carriage!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear -Archdeacon! It is only half-past ten.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">The Archdeacon</span>. -[<i>Rising</i>.] I am afraid I must go, Lady -Hunstanton. Tuesday is always one of Mrs. Daubeny’s -bad nights.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. -[<i>Rising</i>.] Well, I won’t keep you from -her. [<i>Goes with him towards door</i>.] I have told -Farquhar to put a brace of partridge into the carriage. -Mrs. Daubeny may fancy them.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">The Archdeacon</span>. It is very -kind of you, but Mrs. Daubeny never touches solids now. -Lives entirely on jellies. But she is wonderfully cheerful, -wonderfully cheerful. She has nothing to complain of.</p> -<p>[<i>Exit with</i> <span class="smcap">Lady -Hunstanton</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. [<i>Goes over -to</i> <span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>.] There -is a beautiful moon to-night.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Let us go -and look at it. To look at anything that is inconstant is -charming nowadays.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. You have your -looking-glass.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. It is -unkind. It merely shows me my wrinkles.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Mine is better -behaved. It never tells me the truth.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Then it is -in love with you.</p> -<p>[<i>Exeunt</i> <span class="smcap">Sir John</span>, <span -class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>, <span class="smcap">Mr. -Kelvil</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Lord -Alfred</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. [<i>To</i> <span -class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>] May I come too?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Do, my dear -boy. [<i>Moves towards door with</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. -Allonby</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald</span>.]</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span> <i>enters</i>, -<i>looks rapidly round and goes off in opposite direction to that -taken by</i> <span class="smcap">Sir John</span> <i>and</i> <span -class="smcap">Lady Stutfield</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Gerald!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. What, mother!</p> -<p>[<i>Exit</i> <span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span> -<i>with</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. It is getting -late. Let us go home.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. My dear mother. -Do let us wait a little longer. Lord Illingworth is so -delightful, and, by the way, mother, I have a great surprise for -you. We are starting for India at the end of this -month.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Let us go -home.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. If you really want -to, of course, mother, but I must bid good-bye to Lord -Illingworth first. I’ll be back in five -minutes. [<i>Exit</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Let him leave -me if he chooses, but not with him—not with him! I -couldn’t bear it. [<i>Walks up and down</i>.]</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Hester</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. What a lovely night -it is, Mrs. Arbuthnot.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Is it?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Mrs. Arbuthnot, I -wish you would let us be friends. You are so different from -the other women here. When you came into the Drawing-room -this evening, somehow you brought with you a sense of what is -good and pure in life. I had been foolish. There are -things that are right to say, but that may be said at the wrong -time and to the wrong people.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I heard what -you said. I agree with it, Miss Worsley.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. I didn’t know -you had heard it. But I knew you would agree with me. -A woman who has sinned should be punished, shouldn’t -she?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Yes.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. She shouldn’t -be allowed to come into the society of good men and women?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. She should -not.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. And the man should be -punished in the same way?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. In the same -way. And the children, if there are children, in the same -way also?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Yes, it is right that -the sins of the parents should be visited on the children. -It is a just law. It is God’s law.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. It is one of -God’s terrible laws.</p> -<p>[<i>Moves away to fireplace</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. You are distressed -about your son leaving you, Mrs. Arbuthnot?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Yes.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Do you like him going -away with Lord Illingworth? Of course there is position, no -doubt, and money, but position and money are not everything, are -they?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. They are -nothing; they bring misery.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Then why do you let -your son go with him?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. He wishes it -himself.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. But if you asked him -he would stay, would he not?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. He has set -his heart on going.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. He couldn’t -refuse you anything. He loves you too much. Ask him -to stay. Let me send him in to you. He is on the -terrace at this moment with Lord Illingworth. I heard them -laughing together as I passed through the Music-room.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Don’t -trouble, Miss Worsley, I can wait. It is of no -consequence.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. No, I’ll tell -him you want him. Do—do ask him to stay. -[<i>Exit</i> <span class="smcap">Hester</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. He -won’t come—I know he won’t come.</p> -<p>[Enter <span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. <i>She -looks round anxiously</i>. <i>Enter</i> <span -class="smcap">Gerald</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. Mr. Arbuthnot, -may I ask you is Sir John anywhere on the terrace?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. No, Lady Caroline, he -is not on the terrace.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>. It is very -curious. It is time for him to retire.</p> -<p>[<i>Exit</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Caroline</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Dear mother, I am -afraid I kept you waiting. I forgot all about it. I -am so happy to-night, mother; I have never been so happy.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. At the -prospect of going away?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Don’t put it -like that, mother. Of course I am sorry to leave you. -Why, you are the best mother in the whole world. But after -all, as Lord Illingworth says, it is impossible to live in such a -place as Wrockley. You don’t mind it. But -I’m ambitious; I want something more than that. I -want to have a career. I want to do something that will -make you proud of me, and Lord Illingworth is going to help -me. He is going to do everything for me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Gerald, -don’t go away with Lord Illingworth. I implore you -not to. Gerald, I beg you!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, how -changeable you are! You don’t seem to know your own -mind for a single moment. An hour and a half ago in the -Drawing-room you agreed to the whole thing; now you turn round -and make objections, and try to force me to give up my one chance -in life. Yes, my one chance. You don’t suppose -that men like Lord Illingworth are to be found every day, do you, -mother? It is very strange that when I have had such a -wonderful piece of good luck, the one person to put difficulties -in my way should be my own mother. Besides, you know, -mother, I love Hester Worsley. Who could help loving -her? I love her more than I have ever told you, far -more. And if I had a position, if I had prospects, I -could—I could ask her to—Don’t you understand -now, mother, what it means to me to be Lord Illingworth’s -secretary? To start like that is to find a career ready for -one—before one—waiting for one. If I were Lord -Illingworth’s secretary I could ask Hester to be my -wife. As a wretched bank clerk with a hundred a year it -would be an impertinence.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I fear you -need have no hopes of Miss Worsley. I know her views on -life. She has just told them to me. [<i>A -pause</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Then I have my -ambition left, at any rate. That is something—I am -glad I have that! You have always tried to crush my -ambition, mother—haven’t you? You have told me -that the world is a wicked place, that success is not worth -having, that society is shallow, and all that sort of -thing—well, I don’t believe it, mother. I think -the world must be delightful. I think society must be -exquisite. I think success is a thing worth having. -You have been wrong in all that you taught me, mother, quite -wrong. Lord Illingworth is a successful man. He is a -fashionable man. He is a man who lives in the world and for -it. Well, I would give anything to be just like Lord -Illingworth.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I would -sooner see you dead.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, what is your -objection to Lord Illingworth? Tell me—tell me right -out. What is it?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. He is a bad -man.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. In what way -bad? I don’t understand what you mean.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I will tell -you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I suppose you think -him bad, because he doesn’t believe the same things as you -do. Well, men are different from women, mother. It is -natural that they should have different views.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. It is not -what Lord Illingworth believes, or what he does not believe, that -makes him bad. It is what he is.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, is it -something you know of him? Something you actually know?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. It is -something I know.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Something you are -quite sure of?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Quite sure -of.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. How long have you -known it?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. For twenty -years.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Is it fair to go back -twenty years in any man’s career? And what have you -or I to do with Lord Illingworth’s early life? What -business is it of ours?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. What this man -has been, he is now, and will be always.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, tell me what -Lord Illingworth did? If he did anything shameful, I will -not go away with him. Surely you know me well enough for -that?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Gerald, come -near to me. Quite close to me, as you used to do when you -were a little boy, when you were mother’s own boy. -[<span class="smcap">Gerald</span> <i>sits down beside his -mother</i>. <i>She runs her fingers through his hair</i>, -<i>and strokes his hands</i>.] Gerald, there was a girl -once, she was very young, she was little over eighteen at the -time. George Harford—that was Lord -Illingworth’s name then—George Harford met her. -She knew nothing about life. He—knew -everything. He made this girl love him. He made her -love him so much that she left her father’s house with him -one morning. She loved him so much, and he had promised to -marry her! He had solemnly promised to marry her, and she -had believed him. She was very young, and—and -ignorant of what life really is. But he put the marriage -off from week to week, and month to month.—She trusted in -him all the while. She loved him.—Before her child -was born—for she had a child—she implored him for the -child’s sake to marry her, that the child might have a -name, that her sin might not be visited on the child, who was -innocent. He refused. After the child was born she -left him, taking the child away, and her life was ruined, and her -soul ruined, and all that was sweet, and good, and pure in her -ruined also. She suffered terribly—she suffers -now. She will always suffer. For her there is no joy, -no peace, no atonement. She is a woman who drags a chain -like a guilty thing. She is a woman who wears a mask, like -a thing that is a leper. The fire cannot purify her. -The waters cannot quench her anguish. Nothing can heal her! -no anodyne can give her sleep! no poppies forgetfulness! -She is lost! She is a lost soul!—That is why I call -Lord Illingworth a bad man. That is why I don’t want -my boy to be with him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. My dear mother, it -all sounds very tragic, of course. But I dare say the girl -was just as much to blame as Lord Illingworth was.—After -all, would a really nice girl, a girl with any nice feelings at -all, go away from her home with a man to whom she was not -married, and live with him as his wife? No nice girl -would.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. [<i>After a -pause</i>.] Gerald, I withdraw all my objections. You -are at liberty to go away with Lord Illingworth, when and where -you choose.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Dear mother, I knew -you wouldn’t stand in my way. You are the best woman -God ever made. And, as for Lord Illingworth, I don’t -believe he is capable of anything infamous or base. I -can’t believe it of him—I can’t.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. -[<i>Outside</i>.] Let me go! Let me go! -[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Hester</span> <i>in terror</i>, -<i>and rushes over to</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald</span> -<i>and flings herself in his arms</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Oh! save -me—save me from him!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. From whom?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. He has insulted -me! Horribly insulted me! Save me!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Who? Who has -dared—?</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span> <i>enters at back -of stage</i>. <span class="smcap">Hester</span> <i>breaks -from</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald’s</span> <i>arms and -points to him</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span> [<i>He is quite beside -himself with rage and indignation</i>.] Lord Illingworth, -you have insulted the purest thing on God’s earth, a thing -as pure as my own mother. You have insulted the woman I -love most in the world with my own mother. As there is a -God in Heaven, I will kill you!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. [<i>Rushing -across and catching hold of him</i>] No! no!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. [<i>Thrusting her -back</i>.] Don’t hold me, mother. Don’t -hold me—I’ll kill him!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Gerald!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Let me go, I say!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Stop, Gerald, -stop! He is your own father!</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Gerald</span> <i>clutches his -mother’s hands and looks into her face</i>. <i>She -sinks slowly on the ground in shame</i>. <span -class="smcap">Hester</span> <i>steals towards the door</i>. -<span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span> <i>frowns and bites -his lip</i>. <i>After a time</i> <span -class="smcap">Gerald</span> <i>raises his mother up</i>, <i>puts -his arm round her</i>, <i>and leads her from the room</i>.]</p> -<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Act -Drop</span></p> -<h2>FOURTH ACT</h2> -<p style="text-align: center">SCENE</p> -<p><i>Sitting-room at Mrs. Arbuthnot’s</i>. <i>Large -open French window at back</i>, <i>looking on to -garden</i>. <i>Doors</i> R.C. <i>and</i> L.C.</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Gerald Arbuthnot</span> <i>writing at -table</i>.]</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> R.C. -<i>followed by</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span> -<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Alice</span>. Lady Hunstanton and -Mrs. Allonby.</p> -<p>[<i>Exit</i> L.C.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Good -morning, Gerald.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. -[<i>Rising</i>.] Good morning, Lady Hunstanton. Good -morning, Mrs. Allonby.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. [<i>Sitting -down</i>.] We came to inquire for your dear mother, -Gerald. I hope she is better?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. My mother has not -come down yet, Lady Hunstanton.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Ah, I am -afraid the heat was too much for her last night. I think -there must have been thunder in the air. Or perhaps it was -the music. Music makes one feel so romantic—at least -it always gets on one’s nerves.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. It’s the -same thing, nowadays.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. I am so glad -I don’t know what you mean, dear. I am afraid you -mean something wrong. Ah, I see you’re examining Mrs. -Arbuthnot’s pretty room. Isn’t it nice and -old-fashioned?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. [<i>Surveying -the room through her lorgnette</i>.] It looks quite the -happy English home.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. That’s -just the word, dear; that just describes it. One feels your -mother’s good influence in everything she has about her, -Gerald.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Lord -Illingworth says that all influence is bad, but that a good -influence is the worst in the world.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. When Lord -Illingworth knows Mrs. Arbuthnot better he will change his -mind. I must certainly bring him here.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I should like -to see Lord Illingworth in a happy English home.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. It would do -him a great deal of good, dear. Most women in London, -nowadays, seem to furnish their rooms with nothing but orchids, -foreigners, and French novels. But here we have the room of -a sweet saint. Fresh natural flowers, books that -don’t shock one, pictures that one can look at without -blushing.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. But I like -blushing.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Well, there -<i>is</i> a good deal to be said for blushing, if one can do it -at the proper moment. Poor dear Hunstanton used to tell me -I didn’t blush nearly often enough. But then he was -so very particular. He wouldn’t let me know any of -his men friends, except those who were over seventy, like poor -Lord Ashton: who afterwards, by the way, was brought into the -Divorce Court. A most unfortunate case.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I delight in -men over seventy. They always offer one the devotion of a -lifetime. I think seventy an ideal age for a man.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. She is quite -incorrigible, Gerald, isn’t she? By-the-by, Gerald, I -hope your dear mother will come and see me more often now. -You and Lord Illingworth start almost immediately, don’t -you?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I have given up my -intention of being Lord Illingworth’s secretary.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Surely not, -Gerald! It would be most unwise of you. What reason -can you have?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I don’t think I -should be suitable for the post.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I wish Lord -Illingworth would ask me to be his secretary. But he says I -am not serious enough.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear, you -really mustn’t talk like that in this house. Mrs. -Arbuthnot doesn’t know anything about the wicked society in -which we all live. She won’t go into it. She is -far too good. I consider it was a great honour her coming -to me last night. It gave quite an atmosphere of -respectability to the party.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Ah, that must -have been what you thought was thunder in the air.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. My dear, how -can you say that? There is no resemblance between the two -things at all. But really, Gerald, what do you mean by not -being suitable?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Lord -Illingworth’s views of life and mine are too different.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. But, my dear -Gerald, at your age you shouldn’t have any views of -life. They are quite out of place. You must be guided -by others in this matter. Lord Illingworth has made you the -most flattering offer, and travelling with him you would see the -world—as much of it, at least, as one should look -at—under the best auspices possible, and stay with all the -right people, which is so important at this solemn moment in your -career.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I don’t want to -see the world: I’ve seen enough of it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. I hope you -don’t think you have exhausted life, Mr. Arbuthnot. -When a man says that, one knows that life has exhausted him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I don’t wish to -leave my mother.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Now, Gerald, -that is pure laziness on your part. Not leave your -mother! If I were your mother I would insist on your -going.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> L.C.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Alice</span>. Mrs. Arbuthnot’s -compliments, my lady, but she has a bad headache, and cannot see -any one this morning. [<i>Exit</i> R.C.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. -[<i>Rising</i>.] A bad headache! I am so sorry! -Perhaps you’ll bring her up to Hunstanton this afternoon, -if she is better, Gerald.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I am afraid not this -afternoon, Lady Hunstanton.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. Well, -to-morrow, then. Ah, if you had a father, Gerald, he -wouldn’t let you waste your life here. He would send -you off with Lord Illingworth at once. But mothers are so -weak. They give up to their sons in everything. We -are all heart, all heart. Come, dear, I must call at the -rectory and inquire for Mrs. Daubeny, who, I am afraid, is far -from well. It is wonderful how the Archdeacon bears up, -quite wonderful. He is the most sympathetic of -husbands. Quite a model. Good-bye, Gerald, give my -fondest love to your mother.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. Good-bye, Mr. -Arbuthnot.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Good-bye.</p> -<p>[<i>Exit</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span> -<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. <span -class="smcap">Gerald</span> <i>sits down and reads over his -letter</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. What name can I -sign? I, who have no right to any name. [<i>Signs -name</i>, <i>puts letter into envelope</i>, <i>addresses it</i>, -<i>and is about to seal it</i>, <i>when door</i> L.C. <i>opens -and</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span> -<i>enters</i>. <span class="smcap">Gerald</span> <i>lays -down sealing-wax</i>. <i>Mother and son look at each -other</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lady Hunstanton</span>. [<i>Through -French window at the back</i>.] Good-bye again, -Gerald. We are taking the short cut across your pretty -garden. Now, remember my advice to you—start at once -with Lord Illingworth.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Allonby</span>. <i>Au -revoir</i>, Mr. Arbuthnot. Mind you bring me back something -nice from your travels—not an Indian shawl—on no -account an Indian shawl.</p> -<p>[<i>Exeunt</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, I have just -written to him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. To whom?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. To my father. I -have written to tell him to come here at four o’clock this -afternoon.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. He shall not -come here. He shall not cross the threshold of my -house.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. He must come.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Gerald, if -you are going away with Lord Illingworth, go at once. Go -before it kills me: but don’t ask me to meet him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, you -don’t understand. Nothing in the world would induce -me to go away with Lord Illingworth, or to leave you. -Surely you know me well enough for that. No: I have written -to him to say—</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. What can you -have to say to him?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Can’t you -guess, mother, what I have written in this letter?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. No.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, surely you -can. Think, think what must be done, now, at once, within -the next few days.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. There is -nothing to be done.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I have written to -Lord Illingworth to tell him that he must marry you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Marry me?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, I will force -him to do it. The wrong that has been done you must be -repaired. Atonement must be made. Justice may be -slow, mother, but it comes in the end. In a few days you -shall be Lord Illingworth’s lawful wife.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. But, -Gerald—</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I will insist upon -his doing it. I will make him do it: he will not dare to -refuse.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. But, Gerald, -it is I who refuse. I will not marry Lord Illingworth.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Not marry him? -Mother!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I will not -marry him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. But you don’t -understand: it is for your sake I am talking, not for mine. -This marriage, this necessary marriage, this marriage which for -obvious reasons must inevitably take place, will not help me, -will not give me a name that will be really, rightly mine to -bear. But surely it will be something for you, that you, my -mother, should, however late, become the wife of the man who is -my father. Will not that be something?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I will not -marry him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, you must.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I will -not. You talk of atonement for a wrong done. What -atonement can be made to me? There is no atonement -possible. I am disgraced: he is not. That is -all. It is the usual history of a man and a woman as it -usually happens, as it always happens. And the ending is -the ordinary ending. The woman suffers. The man goes -free.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I don’t know if -that is the ordinary ending, mother: I hope it is not. But -your life, at any rate, shall not end like that. The man -shall make whatever reparation is possible. It is not -enough. It does not wipe out the past, I know that. -But at least it makes the future better, better for you, -mother.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I refuse to -marry Lord Illingworth.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. If he came to you -himself and asked you to be his wife you would give him a -different answer. Remember, he is my father.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. If he came -himself, which he will not do, my answer would be the same. -Remember I am your mother.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, you make it -terribly difficult for me by talking like that; and I can’t -understand why you won’t look at this matter from the -right, from the only proper standpoint. It is to take away -the bitterness out of your life, to take away the shadow that -lies on your name, that this marriage must take place. -There is no alternative: and after the marriage you and I can go -away together. But the marriage must take place -first. It is a duty that you owe, not merely to yourself, -but to all other women—yes: to all the other women in the -world, lest he betray more.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I owe nothing -to other women. There is not one of them to help me. -There is not one woman in the world to whom I could go for pity, -if I would take it, or for sympathy, if I could win it. -Women are hard on each other. That girl, last night, good -though she is, fled from the room as though I were a tainted -thing. She was right. I am a tainted thing. But -my wrongs are my own, and I will bear them alone. I must -bear them alone. What have women who have not sinned to do -with me, or I with them? We do not understand each -other.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Hester</span> -<i>behind</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I implore you to do -what I ask you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. What son has -ever asked of his mother to make so hideous a sacrifice? -None.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. What mother has ever -refused to marry the father of her own child? None.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Let me be the -first, then. I will not do it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, you believe -in religion, and you brought me up to believe in it also. -Well, surely your religion, the religion that you taught me when -I was a boy, mother, must tell you that I am right. You -know it, you feel it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I do not know -it. I do not feel it, nor will I ever stand before -God’s altar and ask God’s blessing on so hideous a -mockery as a marriage between me and George Harford. I will -not say the words the Church bids us to say. I will not say -them. I dare not. How could I swear to love the man I -loathe, to honour him who wrought you dishonour, to obey him who, -in his mastery, made me to sin? No: marriage is a sacrament -for those who love each other. It is not for such as him, -or such as me. Gerald, to save you from the world’s -sneers and taunts I have lied to the world. For twenty -years I have lied to the world. I could not tell the world -the truth. Who can, ever? But not for my own sake -will I lie to God, and in God’s presence. No, Gerald, -no ceremony, Church-hallowed or State-made, shall ever bind me to -George Harford. It may be that I am too bound to him -already, who, robbing me, yet left me richer, so that in the mire -of my life I found the pearl of price, or what I thought would be -so.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. I don’t -understand you now.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Men -don’t understand what mothers are. I am no different -from other women except in the wrong done me and the wrong I did, -and my very heavy punishments and great disgrace. And yet, -to bear you I had to look on death. To nurture you I had to -wrestle with it. Death fought with me for you. All -women have to fight with death to keep their children. -Death, being childless, wants our children from us. Gerald, -when you were naked I clothed you, when you were hungry I gave -you food. Night and day all that long winter I tended -you. No office is too mean, no care too lowly for the thing -we women love—and oh! how <i>I</i> loved <i>you</i>. -Not Hannah, Samuel more. And you needed love, for you were -weakly, and only love could have kept you alive. Only love -can keep any one alive. And boys are careless often and -without thinking give pain, and we always fancy that when they -come to man’s estate and know us better they will repay -us. But it is not so. The world draws them from our -side, and they make friends with whom they are happier than they -are with us, and have amusements from which we are barred, and -interests that are not ours: and they are unjust to us often, for -when they find life bitter they blame us for it, and when they -find it sweet we do not taste its sweetness with them . . . You -made many friends and went into their houses and were glad with -them, and I, knowing my secret, did not dare to follow, but -stayed at home and closed the door, shut out the sun and sat in -darkness. What should I have done in honest -households? My past was ever with me. . . . And you thought -I didn’t care for the pleasant things of life. I tell -you I longed for them, but did not dare to touch them, feeling I -had no right. You thought I was happier working amongst the -poor. That was my mission, you imagined. It was not, -but where else was I to go? The sick do not ask if the hand -that smooths their pillow is pure, nor the dying care if the lips -that touch their brow have known the kiss of sin. It was -you I thought of all the time; I gave to them the love you did -not need: lavished on them a love that was not theirs . . . And -you thought I spent too much of my time in going to Church, and -in Church duties. But where else could I turn? -God’s house is the only house where sinners are made -welcome, and you were always in my heart, Gerald, too much in my -heart. For, though day after day, at morn or evensong, I -have knelt in God’s house, I have never repented of my -sin. How could I repent of my sin when you, my love, were -its fruit! Even now that you are bitter to me I cannot -repent. I do not. You are more to me than -innocence. I would rather be your mother—oh! much -rather!—than have been always pure . . . Oh, don’t -you see? don’t you understand? It is my dishonour -that has made you so dear to me. It is my disgrace that has -bound you so closely to me. It is the price I paid for -you—the price of soul and body—that makes me love you -as I do. Oh, don’t ask me to do this horrible -thing. Child of my shame, be still the child of my -shame!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, I -didn’t know you loved me so much as that. And I will -be a better son to you than I have been. And you and I must -never leave each other . . . but, mother . . . I can’t help -it . . . you must become my father’s wife. You must -marry him. It is your duty.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. [<i>Running forwards -and embracing</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. -Arbuthnot</span>.] No, no; you shall not. That would -be real dishonour, the first you have ever known. That -would be real disgrace: the first to touch you. Leave him -and come with me. There are other countries than England . -. . Oh! other countries over sea, better, wiser, and less unjust -lands. The world is very wide and very big.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. No, not for -me. For me the world is shrivelled to a palm’s -breadth, and where I walk there are thorns.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. It shall not be -so. We shall somewhere find green valleys and fresh waters, -and if we weep, well, we shall weep together. Have we not -both loved him?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Hester!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. [<i>Waving him -back</i>.] Don’t, don’t! You cannot love -me at all, unless you love her also. You cannot honour me, -unless she’s holier to you. In her all womanhood is -martyred. Not she alone, but all of us are stricken in her -house.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Hester, Hester, what -shall I do?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Do you respect the -man who is your father?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Respect him? I -despise him! He is infamous.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. I thank you for -saving me from him last night.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Ah, that is -nothing. I would die to save you. But you don’t -tell me what to do now!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Have I not thanked -you for saving <i>me</i>?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. But what should I -do?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Ask your own heart, -not mine. I never had a mother to save, or shame.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. He is -hard—he is hard. Let me go away.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. [<i>Rushes over and -kneels down bedside his mother</i>.] Mother, forgive me: I -have been to blame.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Don’t -kiss my hands: they are cold. My heart is cold: something -has broken it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Ah, don’t say -that. Hearts live by being wounded. Pleasure may turn -a heart to stone, riches may make it callous, but -sorrow—oh, sorrow cannot break it. Besides, what -sorrows have you now? Why, at this moment you are more dear -to him than ever, <i>dear</i> though you have <i>been</i>, and -oh! how dear you <i>have</i> been always. Ah! be kind to -him.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. You are my mother and -my father all in one. I need no second parent. It was -for you I spoke, for you alone. Oh, say something, -mother. Have I but found one love to lose another? -Don’t tell me that. O mother, you are cruel. -[<i>Gets up and flings himself sobbing on a sofa</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. [<i>To</i> -<span class="smcap">Hester</span>.] But has he found indeed -another love?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. You know I have loved -him always.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. But we are -very poor.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Who, being loved, is -poor? Oh, no one. I hate my riches. They are a -burden. Let him share it with me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. But we are -disgraced. We rank among the outcasts. Gerald is -nameless. The sins of the parents should be visited on the -children. It is God’s law.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. I was wrong. -God’s law is only Love.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. -[<i>Rises</i>, <i>and taking</i> <span -class="smcap">Hester</span> <i>by the hand</i>, <i>goes slowly -over to where</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald</span> <i>is lying -on the sofa with his head buried in his hands</i>. <i>She -touches him and he looks up</i>.] Gerald, I cannot give you -a father, but I have brought you a wife.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, I am not -worthy either of her or you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. So she comes -first, you are worthy. And when you are away, Gerald . . . -with . . . her—oh, think of me sometimes. Don’t -forget me. And when you pray, pray for me. We should -pray when we are happiest, and you will be happy, Gerald.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. Oh, you don’t -think of leaving us?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother, you -won’t leave us?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I might bring -shame upon you!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Mother!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. For a little -then: and if you let me, near you always.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. [<i>To</i> <span -class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>.] Come out with us to -the garden.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Later on, -later on. [<i>Exeunt</i> <span class="smcap">Hester</span> -<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. <span -class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span> <i>goes towards door</i> -L.C. <i>Stops at looking-glass over mantelpiece and -looks into it</i>. <i>Enter</i> <span -class="smcap">Alice</span> R.C.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Alice</span>. A gentleman to see -you, ma’am.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Say I am not -at home. Show me the card. [<i>Takes card from salver -and looks at it</i>.] Say I will not see him.</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span> -<i>enters</i>. <span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span> -<i>sees him in the glass and starts</i>, <i>but does not turn -round</i>. <i>Exit</i> <span -class="smcap">Alice</span>.] What can you have to say to me -to-day, George Harford? You can have nothing to say to -me. You must leave this house.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Rachel, -Gerald knows everything about you and me now, so some arrangement -must be come to that will suit us all three. I assure you, -he will find in me the most charming and generous of fathers.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. My son may -come in at any moment. I saved you last night. I may -not be able to save you again. My son feels my dishonour -strongly, terribly strongly. I beg you to go.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. [<i>Sitting -down</i>.] Last night was excessively unfortunate. -That silly Puritan girl making a scene merely because I wanted to -kiss her. What harm is there in a kiss?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. [<i>Turning -round</i>.] A kiss may ruin a human life, George -Harford. <i>I</i> know that. <i>I</i> know that too -well.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. We -won’t discuss that at present. What is of importance -to-day, as yesterday, is still our son. I am extremely fond -of him, as you know, and odd though it may seem to you, I admired -his conduct last night immensely. He took up the cudgels -for that pretty prude with wonderful promptitude. He is -just what I should have liked a son of mine to be. Except -that no son of mine should ever take the side of the Puritans: -that is always an error. Now, what I propose is this.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Lord -Illingworth, no proposition of yours interests me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. According -to our ridiculous English laws, I can’t legitimise -Gerald. But I can leave him my property. Illingworth -is entailed, of course, but it is a tedious barrack of a -place. He can have Ashby, which is much prettier, -Harborough, which has the best shooting in the north of England, -and the house in St. James Square. What more can a -gentleman require in this world?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Nothing more, -I am quite sure.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. As for a -title, a title is really rather a nuisance in these democratic -days. As George Harford I had everything I wanted. -Now I have merely everything that other people want, which -isn’t nearly so pleasant. Well, my proposal is -this.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I told you I -was not interested, and I beg you to go.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. The boy is -to be with you for six months in the year, and with me for the -other six. That is perfectly fair, is it not? You can -have whatever allowance you like, and live where you -choose. As for your past, no one knows anything about it -except myself and Gerald. There is the Puritan, of course, -the Puritan in white muslin, but she doesn’t count. -She couldn’t tell the story without explaining that she -objected to being kissed, could she? And all the women -would think her a fool and the men think her a bore. And -you need not be afraid that Gerald won’t be my heir. -I needn’t tell you I have not the slightest intention of -marrying.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. You come too -late. My son has no need of you. You are not -necessary.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. What do you -mean, Rachel?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. That you are -not necessary to Gerald’s career. He does not require -you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I do not -understand you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Look into the -garden. [<span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span> -<i>rises and goes towards window</i>.] You had better not -let them see you: you bring unpleasant memories. [<span -class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span> <i>looks out and -starts</i>.] She loves him. They love each -other. We are safe from you, and we are going away.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Where?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. We will not -tell you, and if you find us we will not know you. You seem -surprised. What welcome would you get from the girl whose -lips you tried to soil, from the boy whose life you have shamed, -from the mother whose dishonour comes from you?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. You have -grown hard, Rachel.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I was too -weak once. It is well for me that I have changed.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I was very -young at the time. We men know life too early.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. And we women -know life too late. That is the difference between men and -women. [<i>A pause</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Rachel, I -want my son. My money may be of no use to him now. I -may be of no use to him, but I want my son. Bring us -together, Rachel. You can do it if you choose. -[<i>Sees letter on table</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. There is no -room in my boy’s life for you. He is not interested -in <i>you</i>.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Then why -does he write to me?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. What do you -mean?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. What letter -is this? [<i>Takes up letter</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. That—is -nothing. Give it to me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. It is -addressed to <i>me</i>.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. You are not -to open it. I forbid you to open it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. And in -Gerald’s handwriting.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. It was not to -have been sent. It is a letter he wrote to you this -morning, before he saw me. But he is sorry now he wrote it, -very sorry. You are not to open it. Give it to -me.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. It belongs -to me. [<i>Opens it</i>, <i>sits down and reads it -slowly</i>. <span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span> <i>watches -him all the time</i>.] You have read this letter, I -suppose, Rachel?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. No.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. You know -what is in it?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Yes!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I -don’t admit for a moment that the boy is right in what he -says. I don’t admit that it is any duty of mine to -marry you. I deny it entirely. But to get my son back -I am ready—yes, I am ready to marry you, Rachel—and -to treat you always with the deference and respect due to my -wife. I will marry you as soon as you choose. I give -you my word of honour.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. You made that -promise to me once before and broke it.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I will keep -it now. And that will show you that I love my son, at least -as much as you love him. For when I marry you, Rachel, -there are some ambitions I shall have to surrender. High -ambitions, too, if any ambition is high.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I decline to -marry you, Lord Illingworth.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Are you -serious?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Yes.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Do tell me -your reasons. They would interest me enormously.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. I have -already explained them to my son.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I suppose -they were intensely sentimental, weren’t they? You -women live by your emotions and for them. You have no -philosophy of life.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. You are -right. We women live by our emotions and for them. By -our passions, and for them, if you will. I have two -passions, Lord Illingworth: my love of him, my hate of you. -You cannot kill those. They feed each other.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. What sort -of love is that which needs to have hate as its brother?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. It is the -sort of love I have for Gerald. Do you think that -terrible? Well it is terrible. All love is -terrible. All love is a tragedy. I loved you once, -Lord Illingworth. Oh, what a tragedy for a woman to have -loved you!</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. So you -really refuse to marry me?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Yes.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. Because you -hate me?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Yes.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. And does my -son hate me as you do?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. No.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. I am glad -of that, Rachel.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. He merely -despises you.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. What a -pity! What a pity for him, I mean.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Don’t -be deceived, George. Children begin by loving their -parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely if ever -do they forgive them.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. [<i>Reads -letter over again</i>, <i>very slowly</i>.] May I ask by -what arguments you made the boy who wrote this letter, this -beautiful, passionate letter, believe that you should not marry -his father, the father of your own child?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. It was not I -who made him see it. It was another.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. What -<i>fin-de-siècle</i> person?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. The Puritan, -Lord Illingworth. [<i>A pause</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. -[<i>Winces</i>, <i>then rises slowly and goes over to table where -his hat and gloves are</i>. <span class="smcap">Mrs. -Arbuthnot</span> <i>is standing close to the table</i>. -<i>He picks up one of the gloves, and begins pulling it -on</i>.] There is not much then for me to do here, -Rachel?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. Nothing.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. It is -good-bye, is it?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. For ever, I -hope, this time, Lord Illingworth.</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span>. How -curious! At this moment you look exactly as you looked the -night you left me twenty years ago. You have just the same -expression in your mouth. Upon my word, Rachel, no woman -ever loved me as you did. Why, you gave yourself to me like -a flower, to do anything I liked with. You were the -prettiest of playthings, the most fascinating of small romances . -. . [<i>Pulls out watch</i>.] Quarter to two! Must be -strolling back to Hunstanton. Don’t suppose I shall -see you there again. I’m sorry, I am, really. -It’s been an amusing experience to have met amongst people -of one’s own rank, and treated quite seriously too, -one’s mistress, and one’s—</p> -<p>[<span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span> <i>snatches up -glove and strikes</i> <span class="smcap">Lord Illingworth</span> -<i>across the face with it</i>. <span class="smcap">Lord -Illingworth</span> <i>starts</i>. <i>He is dazed by the -insult of his punishment</i>. <i>Then he controls -himself</i>, <i>and goes to window and looks out at his -son</i>. <i>Sighs and leaves the room</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. [<i>Falls -sobbing on the sofa</i>.] He would have said it. He -would have said it.</p> -<p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Gerald</span> <i>and</i> -<span class="smcap">Hester</span> <i>from the garden</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Well, dear -mother. You never came out after all. So we have come -in to fetch you. Mother, you have not been crying? -[<i>Kneels down beside her</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. My boy! -My boy! My boy! [<i>Running her fingers through his -hair</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. [<i>Coming -over</i>.] But you have two children now. -You’ll let me be your daughter?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. [<i>Looking -up</i>.] Would you choose me for a mother?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Hester</span>. You of all women I -have ever known.</p> -<p>[<i>They move towards the door leading into garden with their -arms round each other’s waists</i>. <span -class="smcap">Gerald</span> <i>goes to table</i> L.C. <i>for his -hat</i>. <i>On turning round he sees</i> <span -class="smcap">Lord Illingworth’s</span> <i>glove lying on -the floor</i>, <i>and picks it up</i>.]</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Gerald</span>. Hallo, mother, whose -glove is this? You have had a visitor. Who was -it?</p> -<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Arbuthnot</span>. [<i>Turning -round</i>.] Oh! no one. No one in particular. A -man of no importance.</p> -<p style="text-align: center"><span -class="smcap">Curtain</span></p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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