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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 3.
+by Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 3.
+
+Author: Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley)
+
+Release Date: August 10, 2004 [EBook #9445]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA AMONG THE BRETHREN, ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Juliet Sutherland, David Widger and PG Distributed
+Proofreaders
+
+
+
+
+
+
+SAMANTHA
+
+AMONG THE BRETHREN.
+
+By
+
+"Josiah Allen's Wife"
+
+(Marietta Holley)
+
+
+Part 3
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+
+But along about the middle of the fifth week I see a change. Lodema
+had been uncommon exasperatin', and I expected she would set Josiah to
+goin', and I groaned in spirit, to think what a job wuz ahead of me, to
+part their two tongues--when all of a sudden I see a curius change come
+over my pardner's face.
+
+I remember jest the date that the change in his mean wuz visible, and
+made known to me--for it wuz the very mornin' that we got the invitation
+to old Mr. and Miss Pressley's silver weddin'. And that wuz the
+fifteenth day of the month along about the middle of the forenoon.
+
+And it wuz not half an hour after Elnathen Pressley came to the door and
+give us the invitations, that I see the change in his mean.
+
+And when I asked him about it afterwards, what that strange and curius
+look meant, he never hung back a mite from tellin' me, but sez right out
+plain:
+
+"Mebby, Samantha, I hain't done exactly as I ort to by cousin Lodema,
+and I have made up my mind to make her a happy surprise before she goes
+away."
+
+"Wall," sez I, "so do."
+
+I thought he wuz goin' to get her a new dress. She had been a-hintin'
+to him dretful strong to that effect. She wanted a parmetty, or a
+balzereen, or a circassien, which wuz in voge in her young days. But I
+wuz in hopes he would get her a cashmere, and told him so, plain.
+
+But I couldn't get him to tell what the surprise wuz. He only sez, sez
+he:
+
+"I am goin' to make her a happy surprise."
+
+And the thought that he wuz a-goin' to branch out and make a change, wuz
+considerable of a comfort to me. And I needed comfort--yes, indeed I
+did--I needed it bad. For not one single thing did I do for her that I
+done right, though I tried my best to do well by her.
+
+But she found fault with my vittles from mornin' till night, though I am
+called a excellent cook all over Jonesville, and all round the adjoining
+country, out as far as Loontown, and Zoar. It has come straight back to
+me by them that wouldn't lie. But it hain't made me vain.
+
+But I never cooked a thing that suited Lodema, not a single thing. Most
+of my vittles wuz too fresh, and then if I braced up and salted 'em
+extra so as to be sure to please her, why then they wuz briny, and hurt
+her mouth.
+
+Why, if you'll believe it, I give her a shawl, made her a present of it;
+it had even checks black and white, jest as many threads in the black
+stripes as there wuz in the white, for I counted 'em.
+
+And she told me, after she had looked it all over and said it wuz kinder
+thin and slazy, and checkered shawls had gone out of fashion, and the
+black looked some as if it would fade with washin', and the white wuzn't
+over clear, and the colors wuzn't no ways becomin' to her complexion,
+and etcetery, etcetery.
+
+"But," sez she, after she had got all through with the rest of her
+complaints--"if the white stripes wuz where the black wuz, and the black
+where the white wuz, she should like it quite well." And there it wuz,
+even check, two and two. Wall, that wuz a sample of her doin's. If
+anybody had a Roman nose she wanted a Greecy one.
+
+[Illustration: "IF THE WHITE STRIPES WUZ WHERE THE BLACK WUZ."]
+
+And if the nose wuz Greece, why then she wanted Rome.
+
+Why, Josiah sez to me along about the third week, he said (to ourselves,
+in private), "that if Lodema went to Heaven she would be dissatisfied
+with it, and think it wuz livelier, and more goin' on down to the other
+place." And he said she would get the angels all stirred up a findin'
+fault with their feathers.
+
+I told him "I would not hear such talk."
+
+"Wall," sez he, "don't you believe it?"
+
+And I kinder turned him off, and wouldn't tell, and told him it wuz
+wicked to talk so.
+
+"Wall," sez Josiah, "you dassent say she wouldn't."
+
+And I dassent, though I wouldn't own it up to him, I dassent.
+
+And if she kinder got out of other occupations for a minute durin' them
+first weeks she would be a quarrelin' with Josiah Allen about age.
+
+I s'pose she and Josiah wuzn't far from the same age, for they wuz
+children together. But she wanted to make out she wuz young.
+
+And she would tell Josiah that "he seemed jest like a father to her, and
+always had." And sometimes when she felt the most curius, she would call
+him "Father," and "Pa," and "Papa." And it would mad Josiah Allen so
+that I would have all I could do to quell him down.
+
+Now I didn't feel so, I didn't mind it so much. Why, there would be
+days, when she felt the curiusest, that she would call me "Mother," and
+"Ma," and foller me round with foot-stools and things, when I went to
+set down, and would kinder worry over my fallin' off the back step, and
+would offer to help me up the suller stairs, and so forth, and watchin'
+over what I et, and tellin' me folks of my age ort to be careful, and
+not over-eat.
+
+And Josiah asked me to ask her "How she felt about that time?" For she
+wuz from three to four years older than I wuz.
+
+But I wouldn't contend with her, and the footstools come kinder handy, I
+had jest as lieve have 'em under my feet as not, and ruther. And as for
+rich vittles not agreein' with me, and my not over-eatin', I broke that
+tip by fallin' right in with her, and not cookin' such good things--that
+quelled her down, and gaulded Josiah too.
+
+But, as I said, it riled Josiah the worst of anything to have Lodema
+call him father, for he wants to make out that he is kinder young
+himself.
+
+And sez he to her one day, about the third week, when she was a-goin'
+on about how good and fatherly he looked, and how much he seemed like
+a parent to her, and always had, sez he: "I wonder if I seemed like a
+father to you when we wuz a-kickin' at each other in the same cradle?"
+Sez he: "We both used to nuss out of the same bottle, any way, for
+I have heard my mother say so lots of times. There wuzn't ten days'
+difference in our ages. You wuz ten days the oldest as I have always
+made out."
+
+She screamed right out, "Why, Josiah Allen, where is your conscience to
+talk in that way--and your heart?"
+
+"In here, where everybody's is," sez Josiah, strikin' himself with his
+right hand--he meant to strike against his left breast, but struck too
+low, kinder on his stomach.
+
+And sez I, "That is what I have always thought, Josiah Allen. I have
+always had better luck reachin' your conscience through your stomach
+than in any other way. And now," sez I coldly, "do you go out and bring
+in a pail of water."
+
+I used to get beat out and sick of their scufflin's and disagreein's,
+and broke 'em up whenever I could.
+
+But oh! oh! how she did quarrel with Josiah Allen and that buzz saw
+scheme of his'n. How light she made of that enterprise, how she demeaned
+the buzz, and run the saws--till I felt that bad as I hated the
+enterprise myself, I felt that a variety of loud buzz saws would be a
+welcome relief from her tongue--from their two tongues; for as fur down
+as she would run them buzz saws, jest so fur would Josiah Allen praise
+'em up.
+
+[Illustration: LODEMA AND JOSIAH IN YOUTH.]
+
+She never agreed with Josiah Allen but in jest one thing while she was
+under his ruff. I happened to mention one day how extremely anxious I
+wuz to have females set on the Conference; and then, wantin' to dispute
+me, and also bein' set on that side, she run down the project, and
+called it all to nort--and when too late she see that she had got over
+on Josiah Allen's side of the fence.
+
+But it had one good effect. When that man see she wuz there, he waded
+off, way out of sight of the project, and wouldn't mention it--it madded
+him so to be on the same side of the fence she wuz--so that it seemed
+to happen all for the best.
+
+Why, I took her as a dispensation from the first, and drawed all sorts
+of morels from her, and sights of 'em--sights.
+
+But oh, it wuz tuff on me, fearful tuff.
+
+And when she calculated and laid out to make out her visit and go, wuz
+more than we could tell.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+
+For two weeks had passed away like a nite mair of the nite--and three
+weeks, and four weeks--and she didn't seem to be no nigher goin' than
+she did when she came.
+
+And I would not make a move towards gettin' rid of her, not if I had
+dropped down in my tracts, because she wuz one of the relatives on his
+side.
+
+But I wuz completely fagged out; it did seem, as I told Tirzah Ann one
+day in confidence, "that I never knew the meanin' of the word 'fag'
+before."
+
+And Tirzah Ann told me (she couldn't bear her) that if she wuz in my
+place, she would start her off. Sez she:
+
+"She has plenty of brothers and sisters, and a home of her own, and why
+should she come here to torment you and father;" and sez she, "I'll talk
+to her, mother, I'd jest as leve as not." Sez I, "Tirzah Ann, if you
+say a word to her, I'll--I'll never put confidence in you agin;" sez I,
+"Life is full of tribulations, and we must expect to bear our crosses;"
+sez I, "The old martyrs went through more than Lodema."
+
+Sez Tirzah Ann, "I believe Lodema would have wore out John Rogers."
+
+And I don't know but she would, but I didn't encourage her by ownin' it
+up that she would; but I declare for't, I believe she would have been
+more tegus than the nine children, and the one at the breast, any way.
+
+Wall, as I said, it wuz durin' the fifth week that Josiah Allen turned
+right round, and used her first rate.
+
+And when she would talk before folks about how much filial affection she
+had for him, and about his always havin' been jest like a parent to her,
+and everything of the kind--he never talked back a mite, but looked
+clever, and told me in confidence, "That he had turned over a new leaf,
+and he wuz goin' to surprise her--give her a happy surprise."
+
+And he seemed, instead of lovin' to rile her up, as he had, to jest put
+his hull mind on the idee of the joyful surprise.
+
+Wall, I am always afraid (with reason) of Josiah Allen's enterprizes.
+But do all I could, he wouldn't tell me one word about what he wuz goin'
+to do, only he kep it up, kep a-sayin' that,
+
+"It wuz somethin' I couldn't help approvin' of, and it wuz somethin'
+that would happify me, and be a solid comfort to her, and a great gain
+and honor."
+
+So (though I trembled some for the result) I had to let it go on, for
+she wuz one of the relations on his own side, and I knew it wouldn't do
+for me to interfere too much, and meddle.
+
+Why, he did come right out one day and give hints to me to that effect.
+
+Sez I, "Why do you go on and be so secret about it? Why don't you tell
+your companion all about it, what you are a-goin' to do, and advise with
+her?"
+
+And he sez, "I guess I know what I am about. She is one of the relations
+on my side, and I guess I have got a few rights left, and a little
+spunk."
+
+"Yes," sez I, sadly, "you have got the spunk."
+
+"Wall," sez he, "I guess I can spunk up, and do somethin' for one of my
+own relations, without any interference or any advice from any of the
+Smith family, or anybody else."
+
+Sez I, "I don't want to stop your doin' all you can for Lodema, but why
+not tell what you are a-goin' to do?"
+
+"It will be time enough when the time comes," sez he. "You will find it
+out in the course of next week."
+
+Wall, it run along to the middle of the next week. And one day I had
+jest sot down to tie off a comforter.
+
+It wuz unbleached cheese cloth that I had bought and colored with tea
+leaves. It wuz a sort of a light mice color, a pretty soft gray, and I
+wuz goin' to tie it in with little balls of red zephyr woosted, and work
+it in buttonhole stitch round the edge with the same.
+
+It wuz fur our bed, Josiah's and mine, and it wuz goin' to be soft and
+warm and very pretty, though I say it, that shouldn't.
+
+[Illustration: "I HAD JEST SOT DOWN TO TIE OFF A COMFORTER."]
+
+It wuzn't quite so pretty as them that hain't colored. I had 'em for my
+spare beds, cream color tied with pale blue and pink, that wuz perfectly
+beautiful and very dressy; but I thought for everyday use a colored one
+would be better.
+
+Wall, I had brought it out and wuz jest a-goin' to put it onto the
+frames (some new-fashioned ones I had borrowed from Tirzah Ann for the
+occasion).
+
+And Cousin Lodema had jest observed, "that the new-fashioned frames with
+legs wuzn't good for nothin', and she didn't like the color of gray,
+it looked too melancholy, and would be apt to depress our feelin's too
+much, and would be tryin' to our complexions."
+
+And I told her "that I didn't spoze there would be a very great
+congregation in our bedroom, as a general thing in the dead of night, to
+see whether it wuz becomin' to Josiah and me or not. And, it bein' as
+dark as Egypt, our complexions wouldn't make a very bad show any way."
+
+"Wall," she said, "to tie it with red wuzn't at all appropriate, it wuz
+too dressy a color for folks of our age, Josiah's and mine." "Why," sez
+she, "even _I_, at _my_ age, would skurcely care to sleep under one so
+gay. And she wouldn't have a cheese cloth comforter any way." She sort
+o' stopped to ketch breath, and Josiah sez:
+
+"Oh, wall, Lodema, a cheese cloth comforter is better than none, and I
+should think you would be jest the one to like any sort of a frame on
+legs."
+
+But I wunk at him, a real severe and warnin' wink, and he stopped short
+off, for all the world as if he had forgot bein' on his good behavior;
+he stopped short off, and went right to behavin', and sez he to me:
+
+"Don't put on your comforter to-day, Samantha, for Tirzah Ann and
+Whitfield and the babe are a-comin' over here bimeby, and Maggie is
+a-comin', and Thomas Jefferson."
+
+"Wall," sez I, "that is a good reason why I should keep on with it; the
+girls can help me if I don't get it off before they get here."
+
+And then he sez, "Miss Minkley is a-comin', too, and the Elder."
+
+"Why'ee," sez I, "Josiah Allen, why didn't you tell me before, so I
+could have baked up somethin' nice? What a man you are to keep things;
+how long have you known it?"
+
+"Oh, a week or so!"
+
+"A week!" sez I; "Josiah Allen, where is your conscience? if you have
+got a conscience."
+
+"In the same old place," sez he, kinder hittin' himself in the pit of
+his stomach.
+
+"Wall, I should think as much," sez I.
+
+And Lodema sez, sez she: "A man that won't tell things is of all
+creeters that walks the earth the most disagreeable. And I should think
+the girls, Maggie and Tirzah Ann, would want to stay to home and clean
+house such a day as this is. And I should think a Elder would want to
+stay to home so's to be on hand in case of anybody happenin' to be
+exercised in their minds, and wantin to talk to him on religious
+subjects. And if I wuz a Elder's wife, I should stay to home with him;
+I should think it wuz my duty and my privilege. And if I wuz a married
+woman, I would have enough baked up in the house all the time, so's not
+to be afraid of company."
+
+But I didn't answer back. I jest sot away my frames, and went out and
+stirred up a cake; I had one kind by me, besides cookies and jell tarts.
+
+But I felt real worked up to think I hadn't heard. Wall, I hadn't more'n
+got that cake fairly into the oven when the children come, and Elder
+Minkley and his wife. And I thought they looked queer, and I thought the
+Elder begun to tell me somethin', and I thought I see Josiah wink at
+him. But I wouldn't want to take my oath whether he wunk or not, but I
+_thought_ he wunk.
+
+I wuz jest a turnin' this over in my mind, and a carryin' away their
+things, when I glanced out of the settin' room winder, and lo, and
+behold! there wuz Abi Adsit a comin' up to the front door, and right
+behind her wuz her Pa and Ma Adsit, and Deacon Henzy and his wife,
+and Miss Henn and Metilda, and Lute Pitkins and his wife, and Miss
+Petengill, and Deacon Sypher and Drusilly, and Submit Tewksbury--a hull
+string of 'em as long as a procession.
+
+Sez I, and I spoke it right out before I thought--sez I--
+
+"Why'ee!" sez I. "For the land's sake!" sez I, "has there been a
+funeral, or anything? And are these the mourners?" sez I. "Are they
+stoppin' here to warm?"
+
+For it wuz a cold day--and I repeated the words to myself mechanically
+as it wuz, as I see 'em file up the path.
+
+"They be mourners, hain't they?"
+
+"No," sez Josiah, who had come in and wuz a standin' by the side of me,
+as I spoke out to myself unbeknown to me--sez he in a proud axent--
+
+"No, they hain't mourners, they are Happyfiers; they are Highlariers;
+they have come to our party. We are givin' a party, Samantha. We are
+havin' a diamond weddin' here for Lodema."
+
+"A diamond weddin'!" I repeated mechanically.
+
+"Yes, this is my happy surprise for Lodema."
+
+I looked at Lodema Trumble. She looked strange. She had sunk back in her
+chair. I thought she wuz a-goin' to faint, and she told somebody the
+next day, "that she did almost lose her conscientiousness."
+
+"Why," sez I, "she hain't married."
+
+[Illustration: "WE ARE GIVIN' A PARTY, SAMANTHA."]
+
+"Wall, she ort to be, if she hain't," sez he. "I say it is high time for
+her to have some sort of a weddin'. Everybody is a havin' 'em--tin, and
+silver and wooden, and basswood, and glass, and etc.--and I thought it
+wuz a perfect shame that Lodema shouldn't have none of no kind--and I
+thought I'd  lay to, and surprise her with one. Every other man seemed
+to be a-holdin' off, not willin' seemin'ly that she should have one, and
+I jest thought I would happify her with one."
+
+"Wall, why didn't you make her a silver one, or a tin?" sez I.
+
+"Or a paper one!" screamed Lodema, who had riz up out of her almost
+faintin' condition. "That would have been much more appropriate," sez
+she.
+
+"Wall, I thought a diamond one would be more profitable to her. For I
+asked 'em all to bring diamonds, if they brought anything. And then I
+thought it would be more suitable to her age."
+
+"Why!" she screamed out. "They have to be married seventy-five years
+before they can have one."
+
+"Yes," sez he dreemily, "I thought that would be about the right
+figure."
+
+Lodema wuz too mad to find fault or complain or anything. She jest
+marched up-stairs and didn't come down agin that night. And the young
+folks had a splendid good time, and the old ones, too.
+
+Tirzah Ann and Maggie had brought some refreshments with 'em, and so had
+some of the other wimmen, and, with what I had, there wuz enough, and
+more than enough, to refresh ourselves with.
+
+Wall, the very next mornin' Lodema marched down like a grenideer, and
+ordered Josiah to take her to the train. And she eat breakfast with her
+things on, and went away immegiately after, and hain't been back here
+sense.
+
+And I wuz truly glad to see her go, but wuz sorry she went in such a
+way, and I tell Josiah he wuz to blame,
+
+But he acts as innocent as you pleese. And he goes all over the
+arguments agin every time I take him to do about it. He sez "she wuz old
+enough to have a weddin' of some kind."
+
+And of course I can't dispute that, when he faces me right down, and
+sez:
+
+"Hain't she old enough?"
+
+And I'll say, kinder short--
+
+"Why, I spoze so!"
+
+"Wall," sez he, "wouldn't it have been profitable to her if they had
+brought diamonds? Wouldn't it have been both surprisin' and profitable?"
+And sez he, "I told 'em expressly to bring diamonds if they had more
+than they wanted. I charged old Bobbet and Lute Pitkins specially on the
+subject. I didn't want 'em to scrimp themselves; but," sez I, "if you
+have got more diamonds than you want, Lute, bring over a few to Lodema."
+
+[Illustration: "IF YOU HAVE GOT MORE DIAMONDS THAN YOU WANT."]
+
+"Yes," sez I, coldly, "he wuz dretful likely to have diamonds more then
+he wanted, workin' out by day's work to support his family. You know
+there wuzn't a soul you invited that owned a diamond."
+
+"How did I know what they owned? I never have prowled round into their
+bureau draws and things, tryin' to find out what they had; they might
+have had quarts of 'em, and I not know it."
+
+Sez I, "You did it to make fun of Lodema and get rid of her. And it only
+makes it worse to try to smooth it over." Sez I, "I'd be honorable about
+it if I wuz in your place, and own up."
+
+"Own up? What have I got to own up? I shall always say if my orders wuz
+carried out, it would have been a profitable affair for Lodema, and it
+would--profitable and surprisin'."
+
+And that is all I can get him to say about it, from that day to this.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+
+But truly the labors that descended onto my shoulders immegiately after
+Lodema's departure wuz hard enough to fill up my hull mind, and tax
+every one of my energies.
+
+Yes, my labors and the labors of the other female Jonesvillians wuz deep
+and arjuous in the extreme (of which more and anon bimeby).
+
+I had been the female appinted in a private and becomin' female way, to
+go to Loontown to see the meetin' house there that we heard they had
+fixed over in a cheap but commojous way. And for reasons (of which more
+and anon) we wanted to inquire into the expense, the looks on't, etc.,
+etc.
+
+So I persuaded Josiah Allen to take me over to Loontown on this pressin'
+business, and he gin his consent to go on the condition that we should
+stop for a visit to Cephas Bodley'ses. Josiah sets store by 'em. You
+see they are relations of ourn and have been for some time, entirely
+unbeknown to us, and they'd come more'n a year ago a huntin' of us up.
+They said they "thought relations ought to be hunted up and hanged
+together." They said "the idea of huntin' us up had come to 'em after
+readin' my books." They told me so, and I said, "Wall!" I didn't add nor
+diminish to that one "wall," for I didn't want to act too backward, nor
+too forward. I jest kep' kinder neutral, and said, "Wall!"
+
+You see Cephas'ses father's sister-in-law wuz stepmother to my aunt's
+second cousin on my father's side. And Cephas said that "he had felt
+more and more, as years went by, that it wuz a burnin' shame for
+relations to not know and love each other." He said "he felt that he
+loved Josiah and me dearly."
+
+I didn't say right out whether it wuz reciprokated or not I kinder said,
+"Wall!" agin.
+
+And I told Josiah, in perfect confidence and the wood-house chamber,
+"that I had seen nearer relations than Mr. Bodley'ses folks wuz to us,"
+
+[Illustration: "CEPHAS SAID IT WUZ A BURNIN' SHAME FOR RELATIONS TO
+NOT KNOW AND LOVE EACH OTHER."]
+
+Howsumever, I done well by 'em. Josiah killed a fat turkey, and I baked
+it, and done other things for their comfort, and we had quite a good
+time.  Cephas wuz ruther flowery and enthusiastick, and his mouth and
+voice wuz ruther large, but he meant well, I should judge, and we had
+quite a good time.
+
+She wuz very freckled, and a second-day Baptist by perswasion, and wuz
+piecin' up a crazy bedquilt. She went a-visitin' a good deal, and got
+pieces of the women's dresses where she visited for blocks. So it wuz
+quite a savin' bedquilt, and very good-lookin', considerin'.
+
+But to resoom and continue on. Cephas'ses folks made us promise on our
+two sacred honors, Josiah's honor and mine, that we would pay back the
+visit, for, as Cephas said, "for relatives to live so clost to each
+other, and not to visit back and forth, wuz a burnin' shame and a
+disgrace." And Josiah promised that we would go right away after
+sugerin'.
+
+We wouldn't promise on the New Testament, as Cephas wanted us to (he is
+dretful enthusiastick); but we gin good plain promises that we would go,
+and laid out to keep our two words.
+
+Wall, we got there onexpected, as they had come onto us. And we found
+'em plunged into trouble. Their only child, a girl, who had married a
+young lawyer of Loontown, had jest lost her husband with the typus, and
+they wuz a-makin' preparations for the funeral when we got there. She
+and her husband had come on a visit, and he wuz took down bed-sick there
+and died.
+
+I told 'em I felt like death to think I had descended down onto 'em at
+such a time.
+
+But Cephas said he wuz jest dispatchin' a messenger for us when we
+arrove, for, he said, "in a time of trouble, then wuz the time, if ever,
+that a man wanted his near relations clost to him."
+
+And he said "we had took a load offen him by appearin' jest as we
+did, for there would have been some delay in gettin' us there, if the
+messenger had been dispatched."
+
+He said "that mornin' he had felt so bad that he wanted to die--it
+seemed as if there wuzn't nothin' left for him to live for; but now he
+felt that he had sunthin' to live for, now his relatives wuz gathered
+round him."
+
+Josiah shed tears to hear Cephas go on. I myself didn't weep none, but I
+wuz glad if we could be any comfort to 'em, and told 'em so.
+
+And I told Sally Ann, that wuz Cephas'ses wife, that I would do anything
+I could to help 'em. And she said everything wuz a-bein' done that
+wuz necessary. She didn't know of but one thing that wuz likely to be
+overlooked and neglected, and that wuz the crazy bedquilt. She said
+"she would love to have that finished to throw over a lounge in the
+settin'-room, that wuz frayed out on the edges, and if I felt like it,
+it _would_ be a great relief to her to have me take it right offen her
+hands and finish it."
+
+So I took out my thimble and needle (I always carry such necessaries
+with me, in a huzzy made expressly for that purpose), and I sot down and
+went to piecin' up. There wuz seventeen blocks to piece up, each one
+crazy as a loon to look at, and it wuz all to set together.
+
+She had the pieces, for she had been off on a visitin' tower the week
+before, and collected of 'em.
+
+So I sot in quiet and the big chair in the settin'-room, and pieced up,
+and see the preparations goin' on round us.
+
+I found that Cephas'ses folks lived in a house big and showy-lookin',
+but not so solid and firm as I had seen.
+
+It wuz one of the houses, outside and inside, where more pains had been
+took with the porticos and ornaments than with the underpinnin'.
+
+It had a showy and kind of a shaky look. And I found that that extended
+to Cephas'ses business arrangements. Amongst the other ornaments of his
+buildin's wuz mortgages, quite a lot of'em, and of almost every variety.
+He had gin his only child, S. Annie (she wuz named after her mother,
+Sally Ann, but spelt it this way), he had gin S. Annie a showy
+education, a showy weddin', and a showy settin'-out. But she had
+had the good luck to marry a sensible man, though poor.
+
+[Illustration: "So I SOT IN QUIET AND THE BIG CHAIR."]
+
+He took S. Annie and the brackets, the piano and hangin' lamps and
+baskets and crystal bead lambrequins, her father had gin her, moved
+'em all into a good, sensible, small house, and went to work to get a
+practice and a livin'. He was a lawyer by perswasion.
+
+Wall, he worked hard, day and night, for three little children come to
+'em pretty fast, and S. Annie consumed a good deal in trimmin's and
+cheap lace to ornament 'em; she wuz her father's own girl for ornament.
+But he worked so hard, and had so many irons in the fire, and kep' 'em
+all so hot, that he got a good livin' for 'em, and begun to lay up money
+towards buyin' 'em a house--a home.
+
+He talked a sight, so folks said that knew him well, about his consumin'
+desire and aim to get his wife and children into a little home of their
+own, into a safe little haven, where they could live if he wuz called
+away. They say that that wuz on his mind day and night, and wuz what
+nerved his hand so in the fray, and made him so successful. Wall, he had
+laid up about nine hundred dollars towards a home, every dollar on
+it earned by hard work and consecrated by this deathless hope and
+affection. The house he had got his mind on only cost about a thousand
+dollars. Loontown property is cheap.
+
+Wall, he had laid up nine hundred, and wuz a-beginnin' to save on the
+last hundred, for he wouldn't run in debt a cent any way, when he wuz
+took voyalent sick there to Cephas'ses; he and S. Annie had come home
+for a visit of a day or two, and he bein' so run down, and weak with his
+hard day work and his night work, that he suckumbed to his sickness, and
+passed away the day before I got there.
+
+Wall, S. Annie wuz jest overcome with grief the day I got there, but the
+day follerin' she begun to take some interest and help her father in
+makin' preparations for the funeral.
+
+The body wuz embalmed, accordin' to Cephas'ses and S. Annie's wish, and
+the funeral wuz to be on the Sunday follerin', and on that Cephas and S.
+Annie now bent their energies.
+
+To begin with, S. Annie had a hull suit of clear crape made for herself,
+with a veil that touched the ground; she also had three other suits
+commenced, for more common wear, trimmed heavy with crape, one of which
+she ordered for sure the next week, for she said, "she couldn't stir out
+of the house in any other color but black."
+
+I knew jest how dear crape wuz, and I tackled her on the subject, and
+sez I--
+
+"Do you know, S. Annie, these dresses of your'n will cost a sight?"
+
+"Cost?" sez she, a-bustin' out a-cryin'. "What do I care about cost? I
+will do everything I can to respect his memory. I do it in remembrance
+of him."
+
+Sez I, gently, "S. Annie, you wouldn't forget him if you wuz dressed in
+white. And as for respect, such a life as his, from all I hear of it,
+don't need crape to throw respect on it; it commands respect, and gets
+it from everybody."
+
+"But," sez Cephas, "it would look dretful odd to the neighbors if she
+didn't dress in black." Sez he in a skairful tone, and in his intense
+way--
+
+[Illustration: "WHAT IS LIFE WORTH WHEN FOLKS TALK?"]
+
+"I would ruther resk my life than to have her fail in duty in this way;
+it would make talk. And." sez he, "what is life worth when folks talk?"
+I turned around the crazed block and tackled it in a new place (more
+luny than ever it seemed to me), and sez I, mekanickly--
+
+"It is pretty hard work to keep folks from talkin'; to keep 'em from
+sayin' somethin'."
+
+But I see from their looks it wouldn't do to say anything more, so I had
+to set still and see it go on.
+
+At that time of year flowers wuz dretful high, but S. Annie and Cephas
+had made up their minds that they must have several flower-pieces from
+the city nighest to Loontown.
+
+One wuz a-goin' to be a gate ajar, and one wuz to be a gate wide open,
+and one wuz to be a big book. Cephas asked what book I thought would be
+preferable to represent. And I mentioned the Bible.
+
+But Cephas sez, "No, he didn't think he would have a Bible; he didn't
+think it would be appropriate, seein' the deceased wuz a lawyer." He
+said "he hadn't quite made up his mind what book to have. But anyway it
+wuz to be in flowers--beautiful flowers." Another piece wuz to be his
+name in white flowers on a purple background of pansies. His name wuz
+Wellington Napoleon Bonaparte Hardiman. And I sez to Cephas--"To save
+expense, you will probable have the moneygram W.N.B.H.?"
+
+"Oh, no," sez he.
+
+Sez I, "hen the initials of his given names, and the last name in
+full."
+
+"Oh, no," he said; "it wuz S. Annie's wish, and hisen, that the hull
+name should be put on. They thought it would show more respect."
+
+I sez, "Where Wellington is now, that hain't a goin' to make any
+difference, and," sez I, "Cephas, flowers are dretful high this time of
+year, and it is a long name."
+
+But Cephas said agin that he didn't care for expense, so long as respect
+wuz done to the memory of the deceased. He said that he and S. Annie
+both felt that it wuz their wish to have the funeral go ahead of any
+other that had ever took place in Loontown or Jonesville. He said that
+S. Annie felt that it wuz all that wuz left her now in life, the memory
+of such a funeral as he deserved.
+
+Sez I, "There is his children left for her to live for," sez I--"three
+little bits of his own life, for her to nourish, and cherish, and look
+out for."
+
+"Yes," sez Cephas, "and she will do that nobly, and I will help her.
+They are all goin' to the funeral, too, in deep-black dresses." He said
+"they wuz too little to realize it now, but in later and maturer years
+it would be a comfort to 'em to know they had took part in such a
+funeral as that wuz goin' to be, and wuz dressed in black."
+
+"Wall," sez I (in a quiet, onassumin' way I would gin little hints of my
+mind on the subject), "I am afraid that will be about all the comforts
+of life the poor little children will ever have," sez I. "It will be if
+you buy many more flower-pieces and crape dresses."
+
+Cephas said "it wouldn't take much crape for the children's dresses,
+they wuz so little, only the baby's; that would have to be long."
+
+Sez I, "The baby would look better in white, and it will take sights of
+crape for a long baby dress."
+
+"Yes, but S. Annie can use it afterwards for veils. She is very
+economical; she takes it from me. And she feels jest as I do, that the
+baby must wear it in respect to her father's memory."
+
+Sez I, "The baby don't know crape from a clothes-pin."
+
+"No," sez Cephas, "but in after years the thought of the respect she
+showed will sustain her."
+
+"Wall," sez I, "I guess she won't have much besides thoughts to live on,
+if things go on in this way."
+
+I would give little hints in this way, but they wuzn't took. Things went
+right on as if I hadn't spoke. And I couldn't contend, for truly, as a
+bad little boy said once on a similar occasion, "it wuzn't my funeral,"
+so I had to set and work on that insane bedquilt and see it go on. But
+I sithed constant and frequent, and when I wuz all alone in the room I
+indulged in a few low groans.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+
+We dressmakers wuz in the house, to stay all the time till the dresses
+wuz done; and clerks would come around, anon, if not oftener, with
+packages of mournin' goods, and mournin' jewelry, and mournin'
+handkerchiefs, and mournin' stockings, and mournin' stockin'-supporters,
+and mournin' safety-pins, and etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.
+
+Every one of 'em, I knew, a-wrenchin' boards offen the sides of that
+house that Wellington had worked so hard to get for his wife and little
+ones.
+
+Wall, the day of the funeral come. It wuz a wet, drizzly day, but Cephas
+wuz up early, to see that everything wuz as he wanted it to be.
+
+As fur as I wuz concerned, I had done my duty, for the crazy bedquilt
+wuz done; and though brains might totter as they looked at it, I felt
+that it wuzn't my fault. Sally Ann spread it out with complacency over
+the lounge, and thanked me, with tears in her eyes, for my noble deed.
+
+Along quite early in the mornin', before the show commenced, I went in
+to see Wellington.
+
+He lay there calm and peaceful, with a look on his face as if he had got
+away at last from a atmosphere of show and sham, and had got into the
+great Reality of life.
+
+It wuz a good face, and the worryment and care that folks told me had
+been on it for years had all faded away. But the look of determination,
+and resolve, and bravery,--that wuz ploughed too deep in his face to be
+smoothed out, even by the mighty hand that had lain on it. The resolved
+look, the brave look with which he had met the warfare of life, toiled
+for victory over want, toiled to place his dear and helpless ones in a
+position of safety,--that look wuz on his face yet, as if the deathless
+hope and endeavor had gone on into eternity with him.
+
+And by the side of him, on a table, wuz the big high flower-pieces,
+beginnin' already to wilt and decay.
+
+Wall, it's bein' such an uncommon bad day, there wuzn't many to the
+funeral. But we rode to the meetin'-house in Loontown in a state and
+splendor that I never expect to again. Cephas had hired eleven mournin'
+coaches, and the day bein' so bad, and so few a-turnin' out to the
+funeral, that in order to occupy all the coaches--and Cephas thought it
+would look better and more popular to have 'em all occupied--we divided
+up, and Josiah went in one, alone, and lonesome as a dog, as he said
+afterwards to me. And I sot up straight and oncomfortable in another one
+on 'em, stark alone.
+
+Cephas had one to himself, and his wife another one, and two old maids,
+sisters of Cephas'ses who always made a point of attendin' funerals,
+they each one of 'em had one. S. Annie and her children, of course, had
+the first one, and then the minister had one, and one of the trustees in
+the neighborhood had another; so we lengthened out into quite a crowd,
+all a-follerin' the shiny hearse, and the casket all covered with showy
+plated nails. I thought of it in jest that way, for Wellington, I knew,
+the real Wellington, wuzn't there. No, he wuz fur away--as fur as the
+Real is from the Unreal. Wall, we filed into the Loontown meetin'-house
+in pretty good shape. The same meetin'-house I had been sent to
+reconoiter. But Cephas hadn't no black handkerchief, and he looked
+worried about it. He had shed tears a-tellin' me about it, what a
+oversight it wuz, while I wuz a fixin' on his mournin' weed. He took it
+into his head to have a deeper weed at the last minute, so I fixed it
+on. He had the weed come up to the top of his hat and lap over. I never
+see so tall a weed. But it suited Cephas; he said "he thought it showed
+deep respect."
+
+"Wall," sez I, "it is a deep weed, anyway--the deepest I ever see." And
+he said as I wuz a sewin' it on, he a-holdin' his hat for me, "that
+Wellington deserved it; he deserved it all."
+
+But, as I say, he shed tears to think that his handkerchief wuzn't
+black-bordered. He said "it wuz a fearful oversight; it would probably
+make talk."
+
+"But," I sez, "mebby it won't be noticed."
+
+[Illustration: "AS A PROCESSION WE WUZ MIDDLIN' LONG, BUT RUTHER
+THIN."]
+
+"Yes, it will," sez he. "It will be noticed." And sez he, "I don't care
+about myself, but I am afraid it will reflect onto Wellington. I am
+afraid they will think it shows a lack of respect for him. For
+Wellington's sake I feel cut down about it."
+
+And I sez, "I guess where Wellington is now, the color of a handkerchief
+border hain't a-goin' to make much difference to him either way."
+
+And I don't spoze it wuz noticed much, for there wuzn't more'n ten or a
+dozen folks there when we went in. We went in in Injin file mostly by
+Cephas'ses request, so's to make more show. And as a procession we wuz
+middlin' long, but ruther thin.
+
+The sermon wuz not so very good as to quality, but abundant as to
+quantity. It wuz, as nigh as I could calkerlate, about a hour and
+three-quarters long. Josiah whispered to me along about the last that
+"we had been there over seven hours, and his legs wuz paralyzed."
+
+And I whispered back that "seven hours would take us into the night, and
+to stretch his feet out and pinch 'em," which he did.
+
+But it wuz long and tegus. My feet got to sleep twice, and I had hard
+work to wake 'em up agin. The sermon meant to be about Wellington, I
+s'pose; he did talk a sight about him, and then he kinder branched off
+onto politics, and then the Inter-State bill; he kinder favored it, I
+thought.
+
+Wall, we all got drippin' wet a-goin' home, for Cephas insisted on our
+gettin' out at the grave, for he had hired some uncommon high singers
+(high every way, in price and in notes) to sing at the grave.
+
+And so we disembarked in the drippin' rain, on the wet grass, and formed
+a procession agin. And Cephas had a long exercise light there in the
+rain. But the singin' wuz kinder jerky and curius, and they had got
+their pay beforehand, so they hurried it through. And one man, the
+tenor, who wuz dretful afraid of takin' cold, hurried through his part
+and got through first, and started on a run for the carriage. The others
+stood their grounds till the piece wuz finished, but they put on some
+dretful curius quavers. I believe they had had chills; it sounded like
+it.
+
+Take it altogether, I don't believe anybody got much satisfaction out of
+it, only Cephas. S. Annie sp'ilt her dress and bonnet entirely--they wuz
+wilted all down; and she ordered another suit jest like it before
+she slept. Wall, the next mornin' early two men come with plans for
+monuments. Cephas had telegrafted to 'em to come with plans and bid for
+the job of furnishin' the monument.
+
+And after a good deal of talk on both sides, Cephas and S. Annie
+selected one that wuz very high and p'inted.
+
+The men stayed to dinner, and I said to Cephas out to one side--
+
+"Cephas, that monument is a-goin' to cost a sight."
+
+"Wall," sez he, "we can't raise too high a one. Wellington deserved it
+all."
+
+Sez I, "Won't that and all these funeral expenses take about all the
+money he left?"
+
+"Oh, no!" sez he. "He had insured his life for a large amount, and it
+all goes to his wife and children. He deserves a monument if a man ever
+did."
+
+"But," sez I, "don't you believe that Wellington would ruther have S.
+Annie and the children settled down in a good little home with sumthin'
+left to take care of 'em, than to have all this money spent in perfectly
+useless things?"
+
+"_Useless!_" sez Cephas, turnin' red. "Why," sez he, "if you wuzn't a
+near relation I should resent that speech bitterly."
+
+"Wall," sez I, "what do all these flowers, and empty carriages, and
+silver-plated nails, and crape, and so forth--what does it all amount
+to?"
+
+"Respect and honor to his memory," sez Cephas, proudly.
+
+Sez I, "Such a life as Wellington's had them; no body could take 'em
+away nor deminish 'em. Such a brave, honest life is crowned with honor
+and respect any way. It don't need no crape, nor flowers, nor monuments
+to win 'em. And, at the same time," sez I dreamily, "if a man is mean,
+no amount of crape, or flower-pieces, or flowery sermons, or obituries,
+is a-goin' to cover up that meanness. A life has to be lived out-doors
+as it were; it can't be hid. A string of mournin' carriages, no matter
+how long, hain't a-goin' to carry a dishonorable life into honor, and
+no grave, no matter how low and humble it is, is a-goin' to cover up a
+honorable life.
+
+"Such a life as Wellington's don't need no monument to carry up the
+story of his virtues into the heavens; it is known there already. And
+them that mourn his loss don't need cold marble words to recall his
+goodness and faithfulness. The heart where the shadow of his eternal
+absence has fell don't need crape to make it darker.
+
+"Wellington wouldn't be forgot if S. Annie wore pure white from day
+today. No, nobody that knew Wellington, from all I have hearn of him,
+needs crape to remind 'em that he wuz once here and now is gone.
+
+"Howsomever, as fur as that is concerned, I always feel that mourners
+must do as they are a mind to about crape, with fear and tremblin'--that
+is, if they are well off, and _can_ do as they are a mind to; and the
+same with monuments, flowers, empty coaches, etc. But in this case,
+Cephas Bodley, I wouldn't be a doin' my duty if I didn't speak my mind.
+When I look at these little helpless souls that are left in a cold world
+with nothin' to stand between them and want but the small means their pa
+worked so hard for and left for the express purpose of takin' care of
+'em, it seems to me a foolish thing, and a cruel thing, to spend all
+that money on what is entirely onnecessary."
+
+"Onnecessary!" sez Cephas, angrily. "Agin I say, Josiah Allen's wife,
+that if it wuzn't for our close relationship I should turn on you. A
+worm will turn," sez he, "if it is too hardly trampled on."
+
+"I hain't trampled on you," sez I, "nor hain't had no idea on't. I wuz
+only statin' the solemn facts and truth of the matter. And you will see
+it some time, Cephas Bodley, if you don't now."
+
+Sez Cephas, "The worm has turned, Josiah Allen's wife! Yes, I feel that
+I have got to look now to more distant relations for comfort. Yes, the
+worm has been stomped on too heavy."
+
+He looked cold, cold as a iceickle almost. And I see that jest the few
+words I had spoke, jest the slight hints I had gin, hadn't been took as
+they should have been took. So I said no more. For agin the remark of
+that little bad boy came up in my mind and restrained me from sayin' any
+more.
+
+Truly, as the young male child observed, "it wuzn't my funeral."
+
+We went home almost immegiately afterwards, my heart nearly a-bleedin'
+for the little children, poor little creeters, and Cephas actin' cold
+and distant to the last And we hain't seen 'em sence. But news has come
+from them, and come straight. Josiah heerd to Jonesville all about it.
+And though it is hitchin' the democrat buggy on front of the mare--to
+tell the end of the funeral here--yet I may as well tell it now and be
+done with it.
+
+The miller at Loontown wuz down to the Jonesville mill to get the loan
+of some bags, and Josiah happened to be there to mill that day, and
+heerd all about it.
+
+Cephas had got the monument, and the ornaments on it cost fur more than
+he expected. There wuz a wreath a-runnin' round it clear from the bottom
+to the top, and verses a kinder runnin' up it at the same time. And it
+cost fearful. Poetry a-runnin' up, they say, costs fur more than it duz
+on a level.
+
+Any way, the two thousand dollars that wuz insured on Wellington's life
+wuzn't quite enough to pay for it. But the sale of his law library and
+the best of the housen' stuff paid it. The nine hundred he left went,
+every mite of it, to pay the funeral expenses and mournin' for the
+family.
+
+[Illustration: CARRIED TO THE COUNTY POOR HOUSE.]
+
+And as bad luck always follers on in a procession, them mortgages of
+Cephas'ses all run out sort o' together. His creditors sold him out,
+and when his property wuz all disposed of it left him over fourteen
+hundred dollars in debt.
+
+The creditors acted perfectly greedy, so they say--took everything they
+could; and one of the meanest ones took that insane bedquilt that I
+finished. That _wuz_ mean. They say Sally Ann crumpled right down
+when that wuz took. Some say that they got hold of that tall weed of
+Cephas'ses, and some dispute it; some say that he wore it on the last
+ride he took in Loontown.
+
+But, howsomever, Cephas wuz took sick, Sally Ann wuzn't able to do
+anything for their support, S. Annie wuz took down with the typhus, and
+so it happened the very day the monument wuz brought to the Loontown
+cemetery, Cephas Bodley's folks wuz carried to the county house, S.
+Annie, the children and all.
+
+And it happened dretful curius, but the town hired that very team that
+drawed the monument there, to take the family back.
+
+It wuz a good team.
+
+The monument wuzn't set up, for they lacked money to pay for the
+underpinnin'! (Wuz n't it curius, Cephas Bodley never would think of the
+underpinnin' to anything?) But it lay there by the side of the road, a
+great white shape.
+
+And they say the children wuz skairt, and cried when they went by
+it--cried and wept.
+
+But I believe it wuz because they wuz cold and hungry that made 'em cry.
+I don't believe it wuz the monument.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+
+[Illustration:]
+
+A few days follerin' on and ensuin' after this
+eppisode, Submit Tewksburv wuz a takin' supper with me. She had come
+home with me from the meetin' house where we had been to work all day.
+
+I had urged her to stay, for she lived a mile further on the road, and
+had got to walk home afoot.
+
+And she hain't any too well off, Submit hain't--she has to work hard for
+every mite of food she eats, and clothes she wears, and fuel and lights,
+etc., etc.
+
+So I keep her to dinners and suppers all I can, specially when we are
+engaged in meetin' house work, for as poor as Submit is, she will insist
+on doin' for the meetin' house jest as much as any other female woman in
+Jonesville.
+
+She is quite small boneded, and middlin' good lookin' for a women of her
+years. She has got big dark eyes, very soft and mellow lookin' in
+expression--and a look deep down into 'em, as if she had been waitin'
+for something, for some time. Her hair is gettin' quite gray now, but
+its original color was auburn, and she has got quite a lot of it--kinder
+crinkly round her forward. Her complexion is pale. She is a very good
+lookin' woman yet, might marry any day of the week now, I hain't no
+doubt of it. She is a single woman, but is well thought on in
+Jonesville, and the southern part of Zoar, where she has relatives on
+her mother's side.
+
+[Illustration: SUBMIT TEWKSBURY.]
+
+She has had chances to my certain knowledge (widowers and such).
+
+But if all the men in the world should come and stand in rows in front
+of her gate with gilded crowns in their hands all ready to crown her,
+and septers all ready for her to grasp holt of, and wield over the
+world, she would refuse every one of 'em.
+
+She has had a disappointment, Submit has. And she looked at the world so
+long through tears, that the world got to lookin' sort o' dim like and
+shadowy to her, and the whole men race looked to her fur off and misty,
+as folks will when you look at 'em through a rain.
+
+She couldn't marry one of them shadows of men, if she tried, and she
+hain't never tried. No, her heart always has been, and is now, fur away,
+a-travellin' through unknown regions, unknown, and yet more real to her
+than Jonesville or Zoar, a-follerin' the one man in the world who is a
+reality to her. Submit wuz engaged to a young Methodist minister by the
+name of Samuel Danker. I remember him well. A good lookin' young fellow
+at the time, with blue eyes and light hair, ruther long and curly, and
+kinder wavin' back from his forward, and a deep spiritual look in his
+eyes. In fact, his eyes looked right through the fashions and follys of
+the civilized world, into the depths of ignorance, rivers of ruin and
+despair, that wuz a-washin' over a human race, black jungles where naked
+sin and natural depravities crouched hungry for victims.
+
+Samuel Danker felt that he had got to go into heathen lands as a
+missionary. He wuz engaged to Submit, and loved her dearly, and he urged
+her to go too.
+
+But Submit had a invalid father on her hands, a bed rid grandfather, and
+three young brothers, too young to earn a thing, and they all on 'em
+together hadn't a cent of money to their names. They had twenty-five
+acres of middlin' poor land, and a old house.
+
+Wall, Submit felt that she couldn't leave these helpless ones and go
+to more foreign heathen lands. So, with a achin' heart, she let Samuel
+Danker go from her, for he felt a call, loud, and she couldn't counsel
+him to shet up his ears, or put cotton into 'em. Submit Tewksbury had
+always loved and worked for the Methodist meetin' house (she jined it
+on probation when she wuz thirteen). But although she always had been
+extremely liberal in givin', and had made a practice of contributin'
+every cent she could spare to the meetin' house, it wuz spozed that
+Samuel Danker wuz the biggest offerin' she had ever give to it.
+
+Fur it wuz known that he went to her the night before he sot sail, took
+supper with her, and told her she should decide the matter for him,
+whether he went or whether he staid.
+
+It wuz spozed his love for Submit wuz so great that it made him waver
+when the time come that he must leave her to her lot of toil and
+sacrifice and loneliness.
+
+But Submit loved the Methodist meetin' house to that extent, she leaned
+so hard on the arm of Duty, that she nerved up her courage anew, refused
+to accept the sacrifice of his renunciation, bid him go to his great
+work, and quit himself like a man--told him she would always love him,
+pray for him, be constant to him. And she felt that the Master they both
+wanted to serve would some day bring him back to her.
+
+So he sailed away to his heathens--and Submit stayed to home with her
+five helpless males and her achin' heart. And if I had to tell which
+made her the most trouble, I couldn't to save my life.
+
+She knew the secret of her achin' heart, and the long dark nights she
+kep awake with it. The neighbors couldn't understand that exactly, for
+there hain't no language been discovered yet that will give voice to
+the silent crys of a breakin' heart, a tender heart, a constant heart,
+cryin' out acrost the grayness of dreary days acrost the blackness of
+lonely nights.
+
+But we could see her troubles with the peevish paralasys of age, with
+the tremendus follys of undisciplined youth.
+
+But Submit took care of the hull caboodle of 'em; worked out some by
+days' works, to get more necessaries for 'em than the poor little
+farm would bring in; nursed the sick on their sick-beds and on their
+death-beds, till she see 'em into Heaven--or that is where we spoze
+they went to, bein' deservin' old males both on 'em, her father and her
+grandfather, and in full connectin with the Methodist Episcopel meetin'
+house.
+
+She took care of her young brothers, patient with 'em always, ready to
+mend bad rents in their clothin' and their behavior--tryin' to prop up
+their habits and their morals, givin' 'em all the schoolin' she could,
+givin' 'em all a good trade, all but the youngest, him she kep with her
+always till the Lord took him (scarlet fever), took him to learn the
+mysterius trade of the immortals.
+
+Submit had a hard fit of sickness after that. And when she got up agin,
+there wuz round her pale forward a good many white hairs that wuz orburn
+before the little boy went away from her.
+
+Sense that, the other boys have married, and Submit has lived alone in
+the old farm-house, lettin' the farm out on shares. It is all run
+down; she don't get much from it; it don't yield much but trouble and
+burdocks, but as little as she gets, she always will, as I say, do her
+full share, and more than her share, for the meetin' house.
+
+[Illustration: "HE TOOK SUPPER WITH HER FOR THE LAST TIME."]
+
+Some think it is on account of her inherient goodness, and some think
+it is on account of Samuel Danker.
+
+We all spose she hain't forgot Samuel. And they do say that every year
+when the day comes round, that he took supper with her for the last
+time, she puts a plate on for him--the very one he eat on last---a pink
+edged chiny plate, with gilt sprigs, the last one left of her mother's
+first set of chiny.
+
+That is what they _say_, I hain't never seen the plate.
+
+It is now about twenty years sense Samuel Danker went to heathen lands.
+And as it wuz a man-eatin' tribe he went to preach to, and as he hain't
+been heern of from that day to this, it is spozed that they eat him up
+some years ago.
+
+But it is thought that Submit hain't gin up hope yet. We spoze so, but
+don't know, on account of her never sayin' anything on the subject. But
+we judge from the plate.
+
+Wall, as I say (and I have episoded fearfully, fearfully), Submit took
+supper with me that night. And after Josiah had put out his horse (he
+had been to Jonesville for the evenin' mail, and stopped for us at the
+meetin' house on his way back), he took the _World_ out of his pocket,
+and perused it for some time, and from that learned the great news that
+wimmen wuz jest about to be held up agin, to see if her strength wuz
+sufficient to set on the Conference.
+
+And oh! how Josiah Allen went on about it to Submit and me, all the
+while we wuz a eatin' supper--and for more'n a hour afterwuds.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+
+Submit wuz very skairt to heern him go on (she felt more nervous on
+account of an extra hard day's work), and I myself wuz beat out, but I
+wuzn't afraid at all of him, though he did go on elegant, and dretful
+empressive and even skairful.
+
+He stood up on the same old ground that men have always stood up on,
+the ground of man's great strength and capability, and wimmen's utter
+weakness, helplessness, and incapacity. Josiah enlarged almost wildly on
+the subject of how high, how inaccessibley lofty the Conference wuz, and
+the utter impossibility of a weak, helpless, fragaile bein' like a women
+ever gettin' up on it, much less settin' on it. And then, oh how vividly
+he depictered it, how he and every other male Methodist in the land
+loved wimmen too well, worshipped 'em too deeply to put such a wearin'
+job onto 'em. Oh how Josiah Allen soared up in eloquence. Submit shed
+tears, or, that is, I thought she did--I see her wipe her eyes any way.
+Some think that about the time the Samuel Danker anniversary comes
+round, she is more nervous and deprested. It wuz very near now, and
+take that with her hard work that day, it accounts some for her extra
+depression--though, without any doubt, it wuz Josiah's talk that started
+the tears.
+
+I couldn't bear to see Submit look so mournful and deprested, and so,
+though I wuz that tired myself that I could hardly hold my head up, yet
+I did take my bits in my teeth, as you may say, and asked him--
+
+What the awful hard job wuz that he and other men wuz so anxus to ward
+offen wimmen.
+
+And he sez, "Why, a settin' on the Conference."
+
+And I sez, "I don't believe that is such a awful hard job to tackle."
+
+"Yes, indeed, it is," sez Josiah in his most skairful axent, "yes, it
+is."
+
+And he shook his head meenin'ly and impressively, and looked at me and
+Submit in as mysterius and strange a way, es I have ever been looked at
+in my life, and I have had dretful curius looks cast onto me, from first
+to last. And he sez in them deep impressive axents of hisen,
+
+"You jest try it once, and see--I have sot on it, and I know."
+
+Josiah wuz sent once as a delegate to the Methodist Conference, so I
+spozed he did know.
+
+But I sez, "Why you come home the second day when you sot as happy as a
+king, and you told me how you had rested off durin' the two days, and
+how you had visited round at Uncle Jenkins'es, and Cousin Henn's, and
+you said that you never had had such a good time in your hull life, as
+you did when you wuz a settin'. You looked as happy as a king, and acted
+so."
+
+Josiah looked dumbfounded for most a quarter of a minute. For he knew my
+words wuz as true es anything ever sot down in Matthew, Mark, or Luke,
+or any of the other old patriarks. He knew it wuz Gospel truth, that
+he had boasted of his good times a settin', and as I say for nearly a
+quarter of a minute he showed plain signs of mortification.
+
+But almost imegietly he recovered himself, and went on with the doggy
+obstinacy of his sect: "Oh, wall! Men can tackle hard jobs, and get some
+enjoyment out of it too, when it is in the line of duty. One thing that
+boys em' up, and makes em' happy, is the thought that they are a keepin'
+trouble and care offen wimmen. That is a sweet thought to men, and
+always wuz. And there wuz great strains put onto our minds, us men that
+sot, that wimmen couldn't be expected to grapple with, and hadn't ort to
+try to. It wuz a great strain onto us."
+
+"What was the nater of the strain?" sez I. "I didn't know as you did a
+thing only sot still there and go to sleep. _You_ wuz fast asleep there
+most the hull of the time, for it come straight to me from them that
+know. And all that Deacon Bobbet did who went with you wuz to hold up
+his hand two or three times a votin'. I shouldn't think that wuz so
+awful wearin'."
+
+And agin I sez, "What wuz the strain?"
+
+But Josiah didn't answer, for that very minute he remembered a pressin'
+engagement he had about borrowin' a plow. He said he had got to go up to
+Joe Charnick's to get his plow. (I don't believe he wanted a plow that
+time of night.) But he hurried away from the spot. And soon after Submit
+went home lookin' more deprested and down-casted than ever.
+
+And Josiah Allen didn't get home till _late_ at night. I dare persume to
+say it wuz as late as a quarter to nine when that man got back to the
+bosom of his family.
+
+And I sot there all alone, and a-meditatin' on things, and a-wonderin'
+what under the sun he wuz a-traipsin up to Joe Charnick's for at that
+time of night, and a-worryin' some for fear he wuz a-keepin' Miss
+Charnick up, and a-spozin' in my mind what Miss Charnick would do, to
+get along with the meetin' house, and the Conference question, if she
+wuz a member. (She is a _very_ sensible woman, Jenette Charnick is,
+_very_, and a great favorite with me, and others.)
+
+And I got to thinkin' how prosperus and happy she is now, and how much
+she had went through. And I declare the hull thing come back to me, all
+the strange and curius circumstances connected with her courtship and
+marriage, and I thought it all out agin, the hull story, from beginnin'
+to end.
+
+The way it begun wuz--and the way Josiah Allen and me come to have any
+connectin with the story wuz as follers:
+
+Some time ago, and previus, we had a widder come to stay with us a
+spell, she that wuz Tamer Shelmadine, Miss Trueman Pool that now is.
+
+Her husband died several years ago, and left her not over and above
+well off. And so she goes round a-visitin', and has went ever sense his
+death. And finds sights of faults with things wherever she is, sights of
+it.
+
+Trueman wuz Josiah's cousin, on his own side, and I always made a
+practice of usin' her quite well. She used to live neighbor to me before
+I wuz married, and she come and stayed nine weeks.
+
+She is a tall spindlin' woman, a Second Adventist by perswasion, and
+weighs about ninety-nine pounds.
+
+Wall, as I say, she means middlin' well, and would be quite agreeable
+if it wuzn't for a habit she has of thinkin' what she duz is a leetle
+better than anybody else can do, and wantin' to tell a leetle better
+story than anybody else can.
+
+Now she thinks she looks better than I do. But Josiah sez she can't
+begin with me for looks, and I don't spoze she can, though of course it
+hain't to be expected that I would want it told of that I said so. No, I
+wouldn't want it told of pro or con, especially con. But I know Josiah
+Allen has always been called a pretty good judge of wimmen's looks.
+
+[Illustration: "SHE IS A TALL SPINDLIN' WOMAN."]
+
+And now she thinks she can set hens better than I can--and make better
+riz biscuit. She jest the same as told me so. Any way, the first time
+I baked bread after she got here, she looked down on my loaves real
+haughty, yet with a pityin' look, and sez:
+
+"It is very good for yeast, but I always use milk emptin's."
+
+And she kinder tested her head, and sort o' swept out of the room, not
+with a broom, no, she would scorn to sweep out a room with a broom or
+help me in any way, but she sort o' swept it out with her mean. But I
+didn't care, I knew my bread wuz good.
+
+Now if anybody is sick, she will always tell of times when she has been
+sicker. She boasts of layin' three nights and two days in a fit. But we
+don't believe it, Josiah and me don't. That is, we don't believe she lay
+there so long, a-runnin'.
+
+We believe she come out of 'em occasionally.
+
+But you couldn't get her to give off a hour or a minute of the time.
+Three nights and two days she lay there a-runnin', so she sez, and she
+has said it so long, that we spoze, Josiah and me do, that she believes
+it herself now.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 3.
+by Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley)
+
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