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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 5.
+by Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 5.
+
+Author: Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley)
+
+Release Date: August 10, 2004 [EBook #9447]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA AMONG THE BRETHREN, ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Juliet Sutherland, David Widger and PG Distributed
+Proofreaders
+
+
+
+
+
+
+SAMANTHA
+
+AMONG THE BRETHREN.
+
+By
+
+"Josiah Allen's Wife"
+
+(Marietta Holley)
+
+
+Part 5
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVIII.
+
+
+Josiah's face wuz smooth and placid, he hadn't took a mite of sense of
+what I had been a-sayin', and I knew it. Men don't. They know at the
+most it is only _talk_, wimmen hain't got it in their power to _do_
+anything. And I s'pose they reason on it in this way--a little wind
+storm is soon over, it relieves old Natur and don't hurt anything.
+
+Yes, my pardner's face wuz as calm as the figger on the outside of the
+almanac a-holdin' the bottle, and his axent wuz mildly wonderin' and
+gently sarcestickle.
+
+"How a steeple would look a-pintin' down! That is a true woman's idee."
+
+[Illustration: SISTER FILKINS.]
+
+Sez I, "I would have it a-pintin' down towards the depths of darkness
+that wuz in that man's heart that roze it up, and the infamy of the deed
+that kep him in the meetin' house and turned his victim out of it."
+
+"I d'no as she wuz his victim," sez Josiah.
+
+Sez I, "Every one knows that in the first place Simeon Lathers wuz the
+man that led her astray."
+
+"It wuzn't proved," sez Josiah, a-turnin' the almanac over and lookin'
+at the advertisement on the back side on't.
+
+"And why wuzn't it proved?" sez I, "because he held a big piece of gold
+against the mouths of the witnesses."
+
+"I didn't see any in front of my mouth," sez Josiah, lookin' 'shamed but
+some composed.
+
+"And you know what the story wuz," sez he, "accordin' to that, he did it
+all to try her faith."
+
+I wouldn't encourage Josiah by even smilin' at his words, though I knew
+well what the story wuz he referred to.
+
+It wuz at a Conference meetin', when Simeon Lathers wuz jest a-beginnin'
+to take notice of how pretty Irene Filkins wuz.
+
+She had gone forward to the anxious seat, with some other young females,
+their minds bein' wrought on, so it wuz spozed, by Deacon Lathers's
+eloquent exhortations, and urgin's to 'em to come forward and be saved.
+
+And they had gone up onto the anxious seat a-sheddin' tears, and they
+all knelt down there, and Deacon Lathers he went right up and knelt down
+right by Sister Irene Filkins, and them that wuz there say, that right
+while he wuz a-prayin' loud and strong for 'em all, and her specially,
+he put his arm round her and acted in such a way that she resented it
+bitterly.
+
+She wuz a good, virtuous girl then, any way.
+
+And she resented his overtoors in such a indignant and decided way that
+it drawed the attention of a hull lot of brothers and sisters towards
+'em.
+
+And Deacon Lathers got right up from his knees and sez, "Bretheren and
+sisters, let us sing these lines:
+
+  "He did it all to try her faith."
+
+I remembered this story, but I wuzn't goin' to encourage Josiah Allen
+by lettin' my attention be drawed off by any anectotes--nor I didn't
+smile--oh, no I But I went right on with a hull lot of burnin'
+indignatin in my axents, and sez I, "Josiah Allen, can you look me in
+the face and say that it wuzn't money and bad men's influence that keep
+such men as Deacon Widrig and Simeon Lathers in the meetin' house?" Sez
+I, "If they wuz poor men would they have been kep', or if it wuzn't for
+the influence of men that like hard drink?"
+
+"Wall, as it were," sez Josiah, "I--that is--wall, it is a-gettin'
+bed-time, Samantha."
+
+And he wound up the clock and went to bed.
+
+And I set there, all rousted up in my mind, for more'n a hour--and I
+dropped more'n seven stitches in Josiah's heel, and didn't care if I
+did.
+
+But I have episoded fearfully, and to resoom and go on.
+
+Miss Henn wuz mad, and she wuz one of our most enterprizen' sisters, and
+we felt that she wuz a great loss.
+
+Things looked dretful dark. And Sister Bobbet, who is very tender
+hearted, shed tears several times a-talkin' about the hard times that
+had come onto our meetin' house, and how Zion wuz a-languishin', etc.,
+etc.
+
+And I told Sister Bobbet in confidence, and also in public, that it wuz
+time to talk about Zion's languishin' when we had done all we could to
+help her up. And I didn't believe Zion would languish so much if she had
+a little help gin her when she needed it.
+
+And Miss Bobbet said "she felt jest so about it, but she couldn't help
+bein' cast down." And so most all of the sisters said. Submit Tewksbury
+wept, and shed tears time and agin, a-talkin' about it, and so several
+of 'em did. But I sez to 'em--
+
+"Good land!" sez I. "We have seen jest as hard times in the Methodist
+meetin' house before, time and agin, and we wimmen have always laid holt
+and worked, and laid plans, and worked, and worked, and with the Lord's
+help have sailed the old ship Zion through the dark waters into safety,
+and we can do it agin."
+
+Though what we wuz to do we knew not, and the few male men who didn't
+jine in the hardness, said they couldn't see no way out of it, but what
+the minister would have to go, and the meetin' house be shet up for a
+spell.
+
+But we female wimmen felt that we could not have it so any way. And we
+jined together, and met in each other's housen (not publickly, oh no! we
+knew our places too well as Methodist Sisters).
+
+We didn't make no move in public, but we kinder met round to each
+other's housen, sort o' private like, and talked, and talked, and
+prayed--we all knew that wuzn't aginst the church rules, so we jest
+rastled in prayer, for help to pay our honest debts, and keep the
+Methodist meetin' house from disgrace, for the men wuz that worked up
+and madded, that they didn't seem to care whether the meetin' house come
+to nothin' or not.
+
+Wall, after settin' day after day (not public settin', oh, no! we knew
+our places too well, and wouldn't be ketched a-settin' public till we
+had a right to).
+
+After settin' and talkin' it over back and forth, we concluded the very
+best thing we could do wuz to give a big fair and try to sell things
+enough to raise some money.
+
+It wuz a fearful tuff job we had took onto ourselves, for we had got to
+make all the things to sell out of what we could get holt of, for, of
+course, our husbands all kep the money purses in their own hands, as
+the way of male pardners is. But we laid out to beset 'em when they wuz
+cleverer than common (owin' to extra good vittles) and get enough money
+out of 'em to buy the materials to work with, bedquilts (crazy, and
+otherwise), embroidered towels, shawl straps, knit socks and suspenders,
+rugs, chair covers, lap robes, etc., etc., etc.
+
+It wuz a tremendus hard undertakin' we had took onto ourselves, with all
+our spring's work on hand, and not one of us Sisters kep a hired girl
+at the time, and we had to do our own house cleanin', paintin' floors,
+makin' soap, spring sewin', etc., besides our common housework.
+
+But the very worst on't wuz the meetin' house wuz in such a shape that
+we couldn't do a thing till that wuz fixed.
+
+The men had undertook to fix over the meetin' house jest before the
+hardness commenced. The men and wimmen both had labored side by side to
+fix up the old house a little.
+
+The men had said that in such church work as that wimmen had a perfect
+right to help, to stand side by side with the male brothers, and do
+half, or more than half, or even _all_ the work. They said it wuzn't
+aginst the Discipline, and all the Bishops wuz in favor of it, and
+always had been. They said it wuz right accordin' to the Articles. But
+when it come to the hard and arjuous duties of drawin' salleries with
+'em, or settin' up on Conferences with 'em, why there a line had to
+be drawed, wimmen must not be permitted to strain herself in no such
+ways--nor resk the tender delicacy of her nature, by settin' in a
+meetin' house as a delegate by the side of a man once a year. It wuz too
+resky. But we could lay holt and work with 'em in public, or in private,
+which we felt wuz indeed a privelege, for the interests of the Methodist
+meetin' house wuz dear to our hearts, and so wuz our pardners'
+approvals--and they wuz all on 'em unanimus on this pint--we could
+_work_ all we wanted to.
+
+So we had laid holt and worked right along with the men from day to day,
+with their full and free consents, and a little help from 'em, till we
+had got the work partly done. We had got the little Sabbath-school room
+painted and papered, and the cushions of the main room new covered, and
+we had engaged to have it frescoed, but the frescoer had turned out to
+be a perfect fraud, and, of all the lookin' things, that meetin' house
+wuz about the worst. The plaster, or whatever it wuz he had put on, had
+to be all scraped off before it could be papered, the paper wuz bought,
+and the scrapin' had begun.
+
+[Illustration: "APPEARIN' IN PUBLIC."]
+
+The young male and female church members had give a public concert
+together, and raised enough money to get the paper--it wuz very nice,
+and fifty cents a roll (double roll).  These young females appearin' in
+public for this purpose wuz very agreeable to the hull meetin' house,
+and wuz right accordin' to the rules of the Methodist Meetin' House, for
+I remember I asked about it when the question first come up about
+sendin' female delegates to the Conference, and all the male members of
+our meetin' house wuz so horrified at the idee.
+
+I sez, "I'll bet there wouldn't one of the delegates yell half so loud
+es she that wuz Mahala Gowdey at the concert. Her voice is a sulferino
+of the very keenest edge and highest tone, and she puts in sights and
+sights of quavers."
+
+But they all said that wuz a _very_ different thing.
+
+And sez I, "How different? She wuz a yellin' in public for the good
+of the Methodist Meetin' House (it wuz her voice that drawed the big
+congregatin, we all know). And them wimmen delegates would only have to
+'yea' and 'nay' in a still small voice for the good of the same. I can't
+see why it would be so much more indelicate and unbecomin' in them"--and
+sez I, "they would have bonnets and shawls on, and she that wuz Mahala
+had on a low neck and short sleeves." But they wouldn't yield, and I
+wouldn't nuther.
+
+But I am a eppisodin fearful, and to resoom. Wall, as I said, the
+scrapin' had begun. One side of the room wuz partly cleaned so the paper
+could go on, and then the fuss come up, and there it wuz, as you may
+say, neither hay nor grass, neither frescoed nor papered nor nuthin'.
+And of all the lookin' sights it wuz.
+
+Wall, of course, if we had a fair in that meetin' house, we couldn't
+have it in such a lookin' place to disgrace us in the eyes of Baptists
+and 'Piscopals.
+
+No, that meetin' house had got to be scraped, and we wimmen had got to
+do the scrapin' with case knives.
+
+It wuz a hard job. I couldn't help thinkin' quite a number of thoughts
+as I stood on a barell with a board acrost it, afraid as death of
+fallin' and a workin' for dear life, and the other female sisters a
+standin' round on similar barells, all a-workin' fur beyond their
+strengths, and all afraid of fallin', and we all a-knowin' what we had
+got ahead on us a paperin' and a gettin' up the fair.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIX.
+
+
+Couldn't help a-methinkin' to myself several times. It duz seem to me
+that there hain't a question a-comin' up before that Conference that
+is harder to tackle than this plasterin' and the conundrum that is up
+before us Jonesville wimmen how to raise 300 dollars out of nuthin', and
+to make peace in a meetin' house where anarky is now rainin' down.
+
+But I only thought these thoughts to myself, fur I knew every women
+there wuz peacible and law abidin' and there wuzn't one of 'em but
+what would ruther fall offen her barell then go agin the rules of the
+Methodist Meetin' House.
+
+Yes, I tried to curb down my rebellous thoughts, and did, pretty much
+all the time. And good land! we worked so hard that we hadn't time
+to tackle very curius and peculier thoughts, them that wuz dretful
+strainin' and wearin' on the mind. Not of our own accord we didn't, fur
+we had to jest nip in and work the hull durin' time.
+
+[Illustration: "EVERY NIGHT JOSIAH WOULD TACKLE ME ON IT."]
+
+And then we all knew how deathly opposed our pardners wuz to our takin'
+any public part in meetin' house matters or mountin' rostrums, and that
+thought quelled us down a sight.
+
+Of course when these subjects wuz brung up before us, and turned round
+and round in front of our eyes, why we had to look at 'em and be rousted
+up by 'em more or less. It was Nater.
+
+And Josiah not havin' anything to do evenin's only to set and look at
+the ceilin'. Every single night when I would go home from the meetin'
+house, Josiah would tackle me on it, on the danger of allowin' wimmen
+to ventur out of her spear in Meetin' House matters, and specially the
+Conference.
+
+It begin to set in New York the very day we tackled the meetin' in
+Jonesville with a extra grip.
+
+So's I can truly say, the Meetin' House wuz on me day and night. For
+workin' on it es I did, all day long, and Josiah a-talkin' abut it till
+bed time, and I a-dreamin' abut it a sight, that, and the Conference.
+
+Truly, if I couldn't set on the Conference, the Conference sot on me,
+from mornin' till night, and from night till mornin'.
+
+I spoze it wuz Josiah's skairful talk that brung it onto me, it wuz
+brung on nite mairs mostly, in the nite time.
+
+He would talk _very_ skairful, and what he called deep, and repeat pages
+of Casper Keeler's arguments, and they would appear to me (drawed also
+by nite mairs) every page on 'em lookin' fairly lurid.
+
+I suffered.
+
+Josiah would set with the _World_ and other papers in his hand,
+a-perusin' of 'em, while I would be a-washin' up my dishes, and the very
+minute I would get 'em done and my sleeves rolled down, he would tackle
+me, and often he wouldn't wait for me to get my work done up, or even
+supper got, but would begin on me as I filled up my tea kettle, and keep
+up a stiddy drizzle of argument till bed time, and as I say, when he
+left off, the nite mairs would begin.
+
+I suffered beyond tellin' almost.
+
+The secont night of my arjuous labors on the meetin' house, he began
+wild and eloquent about wimmen bein' on Conferences, and mountin'
+rostrums. And sez he, "That is suthin' that we Methodist men can't
+stand."
+
+[Illustration: "IS ROSTRUMS MUCH HIGHER THAN THEM BARELLS TO STAND ON?"]
+
+And I, havin' stood up on a barell all day a-scrapin' the ceilin', and
+not bein' recuperated yet from the skairtness and dizziness of my day's
+work, I sez to him:
+
+"Is rostrums much higher than them barells we have to stand on to the
+meetin' house?"
+
+And Josiah said, "it wuz suthin' altogether different." And he assured
+me agin,
+
+"That in any modest, unpretendin' way the Methodist Church wuz willin'
+to accept wimmen's work. It wuzn't aginst the Discipline. And that is
+why," sez he, "that wimmen have all through the ages been allowed to do
+most all the hard work in the church--such as raisin' money for church
+work--earnin' money in all sorts of ways to carry on the different kinds
+of charity work connected with it--teachin' the children, nursin' the
+sick, carryin' on hospital work, etc., etc. But," sez he, "this is
+fur, fur different from gettin' up on a rostrum, or tryin' to set on a
+Conference. Why," sez he, in a haughty tone, "I should think they'd know
+without havin' to be told that laymen don't mean women."
+
+Sez I, "Them very laymen that are tryin' to keep wimmen out of the
+Conference wouldn't have got in themselves if it hadn't been for
+wimmen's votes. If they can legally vote for men to get in why can't men
+vote for them?"
+
+"That is the pint," sez Josiah, "that is the very pint I have been
+tryin' to explain to you. Wimmen can help men to office, but men can't
+help wimmen; that is law, that is statesmanship. I have been a-tryin' to
+explain it to you that the word laymen _always_ means woman when she can
+help men in any way, but _not_ when he can help her, or in any other
+sense."
+
+Sez I, "It seemed to mean wimmen when Metilda Henn wuz turned out of the
+meetin' house."
+
+"Oh, yes," sez Josiah in a reasonin' tone, "the word laymen always means
+wimmen when it is used in a punishin' and condemnatory sense, or in the
+case of work and so fourth, but when it comes to settin' up in high
+places, or drawin' sallerys, or anything else difficult, it alweys means
+men."
+
+Sez I, in a very dry axent, "Then the word man, when it is used in
+church matters, always means wimmen, so fur as scrubbin' is concerned,
+and drowdgin' round?"
+
+"Yes," sez Josiah haughtily, "And it always means men in the higher and
+more difficult matters of decidin' questions, drawin' sallerys, settin'
+on Conferences, etc. It has long been settled to be so," sez he.
+
+"Who settled it?" sez I.
+
+"Why the men, of course," sez he. "The men have always made the rules
+of the churches, and translated the Bibles, and everything else that is
+difficult," sez he. Sez I, in fearful dry axents, almost husky ones, "It
+seems to take quite a knack to know jest when the word laymen means men
+and when it means wimmen."
+
+"That is so," sez Josiah. "It takes a man's mind to grapple with it;
+wimmen's minds are too weak to tackle it It is jest as it is with that
+word 'men' in the Declaration of Independence. Now that word 'men', in
+that Declaration, means men some of the time, and some of the time men
+and wimmen both. It means both sexes when it relates to punishment,
+taxin' property, obeyin' the laws strictly, etc., etc., and then it goes
+right on the very next minute and means men only, as to wit, namely,
+votin', takin' charge of public matters, makin' laws, etc.
+
+"I tell you it takes deep minds to foller on and see jest to a hair
+where the division is made. It takes statesmanship.
+
+"Now take that claws, 'All men are born free and equal.'
+
+"Now half of that means men, and the other half men and wimmen. Now to
+understand them words perfect you have got to divide the tex. 'Men are
+born.' That means men and wimmen both--men and wimmen are both born,
+nobody can dispute that. Then comes the next claws, 'Free and equal.'
+Now that means men only--anybody with one eye can see that.
+
+"Then the claws, 'True government consists.' That means men and wimmen
+both--consists--of course the government consists of men and wimmen,
+'twould be a fool who would dispute that. 'In the consent of the
+governed.' That means men alone. Do you see, Samantha?" sez he.
+
+I kep' my eye fixed on the tea kettle, fer I stood with my tea-pot in
+hand waitin' for it to bile--"I see a great deal, Josiah Allen."
+
+[Illustration: CHURCH WORK.]
+
+"Wall," sez he, "I am glad on't. Now to sum it up," sez he, with some
+the mean of a preacher--or, ruther, a exhauster--"to sum the matter all
+up, the  words 'bretheren,' 'laymen,' etc., always means wimmen so fur
+as this: punishment for all offenses, strict obedience to the rules of
+the church, work of any kind and all kinds, raisin' money, givin' money
+all that is possible, teachin' in the Sabbath school, gettin' up
+missionary and charitable societies, carryin' on the same with no help
+from the male sect leavin' that sect free to look after their half of
+the meanin' of the word--sallerys, office, makin' the laws that bind
+both of the sexes, rulin' things generally, translatin' Bibles to suit
+their own idees, preachin' at 'em, etc., etc. Do you see, Samantha?" sez
+he, proudly and loftily.
+
+"Yes," sez I, as I filled up my tea-pot, for the water had at last
+biled. "Yes, I see."
+
+And I spoze he thought he had convinced me, for he acted high headeder
+and haughtier for as much as an hour and a half. And I didn't say
+anything to break it up, for I see he had stated it jest as he and all
+his sect looked at it, and good land! I couldn't convince the hull male
+sect if I tried--clergymen, statesmen and all--so I didn't try, and I
+wuz truly beat out with my day's work, and I didn't drop more than one
+idee more. I simply dropped this remark es I poured out his tea and put
+some good cream into it--I merely sez:
+
+"There is three times es many wimmen in the meetin' house es there is
+men."
+
+"Yes," sez he, "that is one of the pints I have been explainin' to you,"
+and then he went on agin real high headed, and skairt, about the old
+ground, of the willingness of the meetin' house to shelter wimmen in its
+folds, and how much they needed gaurdin' and guidin', and about their
+delicacy of frame, and how unfitted they wuz to tackle anything hard,
+and what a grief it wuz to the male sect to see 'em a-tryin' to set on
+Conferences or mount rostrums, etc., etc.
+
+And I didn't try to break up his argument, but simply repeated the
+question I had put to him--for es I said before, I wuz tired, and
+skairt, and giddy yet from my hard labor and my great and hazardus
+elevatin'; I had not, es you may say, recovered yet from my
+recuperation, and so I sez agin them words--
+
+"Is rostrums much higher than them barells to stand on?" And Josiah said
+agin, "it wuz suthin' entirely different;" he said barells and rostrums
+wuz so fur apart that you couldn't look at both on 'em in one day
+hardly, let alone a minute. And he went on once more with a long
+argument full of Bible quotations and everything.
+
+And I wuz too tuckered out to say much more. But I did contend for it to
+the last, that I didn't believe a rostrum would be any more tottlin' and
+skairful a place than the barell I had been a-standin' on all day, nor
+the work I'd do on it any harder than the scrapin' of the ceilin' of
+that meetin house.
+
+And I don't believe it would, I stand jest as firm on it to-day as I did
+then.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XX.
+
+
+Wall, we got the scrapin' done after three hard and arjous days' works,
+and then we preceeded to clean the house. The day we set to clean the
+meetin' house prior and before paperin', we all met in good season, for
+we knew the hardships of the job in front of us, and we all felt that we
+wanted to tackle it with our full strengths.
+
+Sister Henzy, wife of Deacon Henzy, got there jest as I did. She wuz in
+middlin' good spirits and a old yeller belzerine dress.
+
+Sister Gowdy had the ganders and newraligy and wore a flannel for 'em
+round her head, but she wuz in workin' spirits, her will wuz up in arms,
+and nerved up her body.
+
+Sister Meechim wuz a-makin' soap, and so wuz Sister Sypher, and Sister
+Mead, and me. But we all felt that soap come after religion, not before.
+"Cleanliness _next_ to godliness."
+
+So we wuz all willin' to act accordin' and tackle the old meetin' house
+with a willin' mind.
+
+Wall, we wuz all engaged in the very heat of the warfare, as you may
+say, a-scrubbin' the floors, and a-scourin' the benches by the door,
+and a-blackin' the 2 stoves that stood jest inside of the door. We wuz
+workin' jest as hard as wimmen ever worked--and all of the wimmen who
+wuzn't engaged in scourin' and moppin' wuz a-settin' round in the pews
+a-workin' hard on articles for the fair--when all of a suddin the
+outside door opened and in come Josiah Allen with 3 of the other men
+bretheren.
+
+They had jest got the great news of wimmen bein' apinted for
+Deaconesses, and had come down on the first minute to tell us. She that
+wuz Celestine Bobbet wuz the only female present that had heard of it.
+
+Josiah had heard it to the post-office, and he couldn't wait till noon
+to tell me about it, and Deacon Gowdy wuz anxius Miss Gowdy should hear
+it as soon es possible. Deacon Sypher wanted his wife to know at once
+that if she wuzn't married she could have become a deaconess under his
+derectin'.
+
+And Josiah wanted me to know immegietly that I, too, could have had the
+privilege if I had been a more single woman, of becomin' a deaconess,
+and have had the chance of workin' all my hull life for the meetin'
+house, with a man to direct my movements and take charge on me, and tell
+me what to do, from day to day and from hour to hour.
+
+And Deacon Henzy was anxious Miss Henzy should get the news as quick as
+she could. So they all hastened down to the meetin' house to tell us.
+
+And we left off our work for a minute to hear 'em. It wuzn't nowhere
+near time for us to go home.
+
+Josiah had lots of further business to do in Jonesville and so had the
+other men. But the news had excited 'em, and exhilerated 'em so, that
+they had dropped everything, and hastened right down to tell us, and
+then they wuz a-goin' back agin immegietly.
+
+I, myself, took the news coolly, or as cool as I could, with my
+temperature up to five or five and a half, owin' to the hard work and
+the heat.
+
+[Illustration: THE LAST NEWS FROM THE CONFERENCE.]
+
+Miss Gowdy also took it pretty calm. She leaned on her mop handle,
+partly for rest (for she was tuckered out) and partly out of good
+manners, and didn't say much.
+
+But Miss Sypheris such a admirin'woman, she looked fairly radiant at the
+news, and she spoke up to her husband in her enthusiastik warm-hearted
+way--
+
+"Why, Deacon Sypher, is it possible that I, too, could become a deacon,
+jest like you?"
+
+"No," sez Deacon Sypher solemnly, "no, Drusilly, not like me. But you
+wimmen have got the privelege now, if you are single, of workin' all
+your days at church work under the direction of us men."
+
+"Then I could work at the Deacon trade under you," sez she admirin'ly,
+"I could work jest like you--pass round the bread and wine and the
+contribution box Sundays?"
+
+"Oh, no, Drusilly," sez he condesendinly, "these hard and arjuous dutys
+belong to the male deaconship. That is their own one pertickiler work,
+that wimmen can't infringe upon. Their hull strength is spent in these
+duties, wimmen deacons have other fields of labor, such as relievin'
+the wants of the sick and sufferin', sittin' up nights with small-pox
+patients, takin' care of the sufferin' poor, etc., etc."
+
+"But," sez Miss Sypher (she is so good-hearted, and so awful fond of the
+deacon), "wouldn't it be real sweet, Deacon, if you and I could work
+together as deacons, and tend the sick, relieve the sufferers--work for
+the good of the church together--go about doin' good?"
+
+"No, Drusilly," sez he, "that is wimmen's work. I would not wish for a
+moment to curtail the holy rights of wimmen. I wouldn't want to stand in
+her way, and keep her from doin' all this modest, un-pretendin' work,
+for which her weaker frame and less hefty brain has fitted her.
+
+"We will let it go on in the same old way. Let wimmen have the privelege
+of workin' hard, jest as she always has. Let her work all the time, day
+and night, and let men go on in the same sure old way of superentendin'
+her movements, guardin' her weaker footsteps, and bossin' her round
+generally."
+
+Deacon Sypher is never happy in his choice of language, and his method
+of argiment is such that when he is up on the affirmative of a question,
+the negative is delighted, for they know he will bring victery to their
+side of the question. Now, he didn't mean to speak right out about men's
+usual way of bossin' wimmen round. It was only his unfortunate and
+transparent manner of speakin'.
+
+And Deacon Bobbet hastened to cover up the remark by the statement that
+"he wuz so highly tickled that wimmen wuzn't goin' to be admitted to the
+Conference, because it would _weaken_ the Conference."
+
+"Yes," sez my Josiah, a-leanin' up aginst the meetin' house door, and
+talkin' pretty loud, for Sister Peedick and me had gone to liftin' round
+the big bench by the door, and it wuz fearful heavy, and our minds wuz
+excersised as to the best place to put it while we wuz a-cleanin' the
+floor.
+
+"You see," sez he, "we feel, we men do, we feel that it would be
+weakenin' to the Conference to have wimmen admitted, both on account of
+her own lack of strength and also from the fact that every woman you
+would admit would keep out a man. And that," sez he (a-leanin' back in
+a still easier attitude, almust a luxurious one), "that, you see, would
+tend naterally to weakenin' the strength of a church."
+
+[Illustration: "WALL," SEZ I, "MOVE ROUND A LITTLE, WON'T YOU, FOR WE
+WANT TO SET THE BENCH."]
+
+"Wall," sez I, a-pantin' hard for breath under my burden, "move round a
+little, won't you, for we want to set the bench here while we scrub
+under it. And," sez I, a-stoppin' a minute and rubbin' the perspiratin
+and sweat offen my face, "Seein' you men are all here, can't you lay
+holt and help us move out the benches, so we can clean the floor under
+'em? Some of 'em are very hefty," sez I, "and all of us Sisters almost
+are a-makin' soap, and we all want to get done here, so we can go home
+and bile down; we would dearly love a little help," sez I.
+
+"I would help," sez Josiah in a willin' tone, "I would help in a minute,
+if I hadn't got so much work to do at home."
+
+And all the other male bretheren said the same thing--they had got to
+git to get home to get to work. (Some on 'em wanted to play checkers,
+and I knew it.)
+
+But some on 'em did have lots of work on their hands, I couldn't dispute
+it.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXI.
+
+
+Why, Deacon Henzy, besides all his cares about the buzz saw mill, and
+his farm work, had bought a steam threshin' machine that made him sights
+of work. It was a good machine. But it wuz fairly skairful to see it
+a-steamin' and a-blowin' right along the streets of Jonesville without
+the sign of a horse or ox or anything nigh it to draw it. A-puffin' out
+the steam, and a-tearin' right along, that awful lookin' that it skairt
+she that wuz Celestine Bobbet most into fits.
+
+She lived in a back place where such machines wuz unknown, and she had
+come home to her father's on a visit, and wuz goin' over to visit some
+of his folks that day, over to Loontown.
+
+And she wuz a-travellin' along peacible, with her father's old mair, and
+a-leanin' back in the buggy a readin' a article her father had sent over
+by her to Deacon Widrig, a witherin' article about female Deaconesses,
+and the stern necessity of settin' 'em apart and sanctifyen' 'em to this
+one work--deacon work--and how they mustn't marry, or tackle any other
+hard jobs whatsumever, or break off into any other enterprize, only jest
+plain deacon work.
+
+It wuz a very flowery article. And she wuz enjoyin' of it first rate,
+and a-thinkin', for she is a little timid and easily skairt, and the
+piece had convinced her--
+
+She wuz jest a-thinkin' how dretful it would be if sum female deaconess
+should ever venter into some other branch of business, and what would
+be apt to become of her if she did. She hated to think of what her doom
+would most likely be, bein' tender hearted.
+
+[Illustration: "SHE SEE THIS WILD AND SKAIRFUL MACHINE APPROACHIN'."]
+
+When lo, and behold! jest as she wuz a-thinkin' these thoughts, she see
+this wild and skairful machine approachin', and Deacon Henzy a-standin'
+up on top of it a-drivin'. He looked wild and excited, bein' very
+tickled to think that he had threshed more with his machine, by twenty
+bushels, than Deacon Petengill had with his.  There was a bet upon these
+two deacons, so it wuz spozed, and he wuz a-hastenin' to the next place
+where he wuz to be setup, so's to lose no time, and he was kinder
+hollerin'.
+
+And the wind took his gray hair back, and his long side whiskers, and
+kinder stood 'em out, and the skirts of his frock the same.
+
+His mean wuz wild.
+
+And it wuz more than Celestine's old mair and she herself could bear;
+she cramped right round in the road (the mair did) and set sail back to
+old Bobbet'ses, and that great concern a-puffin' and a-steamin' along
+after 'em.
+
+And by the time that she that wuz Celestine got there she wuz almost in
+a fit, and the mair in a perfect lather.
+
+Wall, Celestine didn't get over it for weeks and weeks, nor the mair
+nuther.
+
+And besides this enterprize of Deacon Henzy's, he had got up a great
+invention, a new rat trap, that wuz peculier and uneek in the extreme.
+
+It wuz the result of arjous study on his part, by night and day, for a
+long, long time, and it wuz what he called "A Travellin' Rat Trap." It
+wuz designed to sort o' chase the rats round and skair 'em.
+
+[Illustration: DEACON HENZY'S RAT TRAP (LIKE A CIRCUS FOR THE RATS).]
+
+It was spozed he got the idee in the first place from his threshin'
+machine. It had to be wound up, and then it would take after 'em--rats
+or mice, or anything--and they do say that it wuz quite a success.
+
+Only it had to move on a smooth floor. It would travel round pretty much
+all night; and they say that when it wuz set up in a suller, it would
+chase the rats back into their holes, and they would set there and look
+out on it, for the biggest heft of the night. It would take up their
+minds, and kep 'em out of vittles and other mischief.
+
+It wuz somethin' like providin' a circus for 'em.
+
+But howsumever, the Deacon wuz a-workin' at this; he wuzn't quite
+satisfied with its runnin' gear, and he wuz a-perfectin' this rat trap
+every leisure minute he had outside of his buzz saw and threshin'
+machine business, and so he wuz fearful busy.
+
+Deacon Sypher had took the agency for "The Wild West, or The Leaping Cow
+Boy of the Plain," and wuz doin' well by it.
+
+And Deacon Bobbet had took in a lot of mustangs to keep through the
+winter. And he wuz a ridin' 'em a good deal, accordin' to contract, and
+tryin' to tame 'em some before spring. And this work, with the buzz saw,
+took up every minute of his time. For the mustangs throwed him a good
+deal, and he had to lay bound up in linements a good deal of the time,
+and arneky.
+
+[Illustration: "HE HAD TO LAY BOUND UP IN LINEMENTS A GOOD DEAL OF THE
+TIME."]
+
+So, as I say, it didn't surprise me a mite to have 'em say they couldn't
+help us, for I knew jest how these jobs of theirn devoured their time.
+
+And when my Josiah had made his excuse, it wuzn't any more than I had
+looked out for, to hear Deacon Henzy say he had got to git home to ile
+his threshin' machine. One of the cogs wuz out of gear in some way.
+
+He wanted to help us, so it didn't seem as if he could tear himself
+away, but that steam threshin' machine stood in the way. And then on
+his way down to Jonesville that very mornin' a new idee had come to him
+about that travellin' rat trap, and he wanted to get home jest as quick
+as he could, to try it.
+
+And Deacon Bobbet said that three of them mustangs he had took in to
+break had got to be rid that day, they wuz a gettin' so wild he didn't
+hardly dast to go nigh 'em.
+
+And Deacon Sypher said that he must hasten back, for a man wuz a-comin'
+to see him from way up on the State road, to try to get a agency under
+him for "The Leaping Cow Boy of the Plain." And he wanted to show the
+"Leaping Cow Boy" to some agents to the tavern in Jonesville on his way
+home, and to some wimmen on the old Plank road. Two or three of the
+wimmen had gin hopes that they would take the "Leaping Cow Boy."
+
+And then they said--the hull three of the deacons did--that any minute
+them other deacons who wuz goin' into partnership with 'em in the buzz
+saw business wuz liable to drive down to see 'em about it.
+
+And some of the other men brethren said their farms and their live stock
+demanded the hull of their time--every minute of it.
+
+So we see jest how it wuz, we see these male deacons couldn't devote any
+of their time to the meetin' house, nor those other brethren nuther.
+
+We see that their time wuz too valuable, and their own business devoured
+the hull on it. And we married Sisters, who wuz acestemed to the strange
+and mysterius ways of male men, we accepted the situation jest es we
+would any other mysterius dispensation, and didn't say nothin'.
+
+Good land! We wuz used to curius sayin's and doin's, every one on us.
+Curius as a dog, and curiuser.
+
+But Sister Meechim (onmarried), she is dretful questinin' and inquirin'
+(men don't like her, they say she prys into subjects she's no business
+to meddle with). She sez to Josiah:
+
+"Why is it, Deacon Allen, that men deacons can carry on all sorts of
+business and still be deacons, while wimmen deacons are obleeged to give
+up all other business and devote themselves wholly to their work?"
+
+"It is on account of their minds," sez Josiah. "Men have got stronger
+minds than wimmen, that is the reason."
+
+And Sister Meechim sez agin--
+
+"Why is it that wimmen deacons have to remain onmarried, while men
+deacons can marry one wife after another through a long life, that is,
+if they are took from 'em by death or a divorce lawyer?"
+
+"Wall," sez Josiah, "that, too, is on account of their brains. Their
+brains hain't so hefty es men's."
+
+But I jest waded into the argument then. I jest interfered, and sez in a
+loud, clear tone,
+
+"Oh, shaw!"
+
+And then I sez further, in the same calm, clear tones, but dry as ever a
+dry oven wuz in its dryest times. Sez I,
+
+"If you men can't help us any about the meetin' house, you'd better get
+out of our way, for we wimmen have got to go to scrubbin' right where
+you are a-standin'."
+
+"Certainly," sez Josiah, in a polite axent, "certainly."
+
+And so the rest of the men said.
+
+And Josiah added to his remarks, as he went down the steps,
+
+"You'd better get home, Samantha, in time to cook a hen, and make some
+puddin', and so forth."
+
+And I sez, with quite a lot of dignity, "Have I ever failed, Josiah
+Allen, to have good dinners for you, and on time too?"
+
+"No," sez he, "but I thought I would jest stop to remind you of it,
+and also to tell you the last news from the Conference, about the
+deaconesses."
+
+And so they trailed down one after another, and left us to our work
+in the meetin' house; but as they disapered round the corner, Sister
+Arvilly Lanfear, who hain't married, and who has got a sharp tongue
+(some think that is why, but I don't; I believe Arvilly has had
+chances).
+
+But any way, she sez, as they went down the steps,
+
+"I'll bet them men wuz a-practisen' their new parts of men
+superentendents, and look on us as a lot of deaconesses."
+
+[Illustration: "JOSIAH ADDED TO HIS REMARKS."]
+
+"Wall," sez Sister Gowdy--she loves to put on Arvilly--"wall, you have
+got one qualificatin', Arvilly!"
+
+"Yes, thank the Lord," sez she.
+
+And I never asked what she meant, but knew well enough that she spoke of
+her single state. But Arvilly has had chances, _I_ think.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXII.
+
+
+I got home in time to get a good supper, though mebbe I ortn't to say
+it.
+
+Sure enough, Josiah Allen had killed a hen, and dressed it ready for me
+to brile, but it wuz young and tender, and I knew it wouldn't take long,
+so I didn't care.
+
+Good land! I love to humor him, and he knows it. Casper Keeler come in
+jest as I wuz a-gettin' supper and I thought like as not he would stay
+to supper; I laid out to ask him. But I didn't take no more pains on his
+account. No, I do jest as well by Josiah Allen from day to day, as if he
+wuz company, or lay out to.
+
+Casper came over on a errent about that buzz saw mill. He wuz in dretful
+good spirits, though he looked kinder peaked.
+
+He had jest got home from the city.
+
+It happened dretful curius, but jest at this time Casper Keeler had had
+to go to New York on business. He had to sign some papers that nobody
+else couldn't sign.
+
+[Illustration: CASPER KEELER.]
+
+His mother had hearn of a investment there that promised to pay dretful
+well, so she had took a lot of stock in it, and it had riz right up
+powerful. Why the money had increased fourfold, and more too, and Casper
+bein' jest come of age, had to go and sign suthin' or other.
+
+Wall, he went round and see lots of sights in New York. His ma's money
+that she had left him made him fairly luxurius as to comfort, and he had
+plenty of money to go sight seein' as much as he wanted to.
+
+He went to all the theatres, and operas, and shows of all kinds, and
+museums, and the Brooklyn Bridge, and circuses, and receptions, and et
+cetery, et cetery.
+
+He wuz a-tellin' me how much money he spent while he wuz there, kinder
+boastin' on it; he had went to one of the biggest, highest taverns in
+the hull village of New York, where the price wuz higher than the very
+highest pinakle on the top of it, fur higher.
+
+And I sez, "Did you go to the Wimmen's Exchange and the Workin' Wimmen's
+Association, that wuz held there while you wuz there?"
+
+And he acted real scorfin'.
+
+"Wimmen's work!" sez he. "No, indeed! I had too much on my hands, and
+too much comfort to take in higher circles, than to take in any such
+little trifles as wimmen's work."
+
+Sez I, "Young man, it is a precious little you would take in in life if
+it hadn't been for wimmen's work. Who earned and left you the money you
+are a-usin'?" sez I, "who educated you and made your life easy before
+you?"
+
+And then bein' fairly drove into a corner, he owned up that his mother
+wuz a good woman.
+
+But his nose wuz kinder lifted up the hull of the time he wuz a-sayin'
+it, as if he hated to own it up, hated to like a dog.
+
+But he got real happified up and excited afterwards, in talkin' over
+with Josiah what he see to the Conference.' He stayed to supper; I wuz
+a seasonin' my chicken and mashed potatoes, and garnishin' 'em for the
+table. I wuz out to one side a little, but I listened with one side of
+my brain while the other wuz fixed on pepper, ketchup, parsley, etc.,
+etc.
+
+[Illustration: "HE SEEMED TO HAVE A HORROW OF WOMAN A-RAISIN' OUT OF HER
+SPEAR."]
+
+Sez Casper, "It wuz the proudest, greatest hour of my life," sez he,
+"when I see a nigger delegate git up and give his views on wimmen
+keepin' down in their place. When I see a black nigger stand up there in
+that Conference and state so clearly, so logically and so powerfully the
+reasons why poor weak wimmen should _not_ be admitted into that sacred
+enclosure--
+
+"When I see even a nigger a-standin' there and a-knowin' so well what
+wimmen's place wuz, my heart beat with about the proudest emotions I
+have ever experienced. Why, he said," sez Casper, "that if wimmen wuz
+allowed to stand up in the Conference, they wouldn't be satisfied. The
+next thing they would want to do would be to preach. It wuz a masterly
+argument," sez Casper.
+
+"It must have been," sez my Josiah.
+
+"He seemed to have such a borrow of a weak-minded, helpless woman
+a-raisin' herself up out of her lower spear."
+
+"Well he might," sez Josiah, "well he might."
+
+Truly, there are times when women can't, seeminly, stand no more. This
+wuz one on 'em, and I jest waded right into the argiment. I sez, real
+solemn like, a-holdin' the sprig of parsley some like a septer, only
+more sort o' riz up like and mysteriouser. Yes, I held that green sprig
+some as the dove did when it couldn't find no rest for the soles of its
+feet--no foundation under it and it sailed about seekin' some mount of
+truth it could settle down on. Oh how wobblin' and onsubstantial and
+curius I felt hearin' their talk.
+
+"And," sez I, "nobody is tickleder than I be to think a colored man has
+had the right gin him to stand up in a Conference or anywhere else. I
+have probable experienced more emotions in his behalf," sez I, "deep
+and earnest, than any other female, ancient or modern. I have bore his
+burdens for him, trembled under his lashes, agonized with him in his
+unexampled griefs and wrongs and indignities, and I have rejoiced at the
+very depths of my soul at his freedom.
+
+"But," sez I, "when he uses that freedom to enchain another and as
+deservin' a race, my feelin's are hurt and my indignations are riz up.
+
+"Yes," sez I, a-wavin' that sprig some like a warlike banner, as my
+emotions swelled up under my bask waste,
+
+"When that negro stands there a-advocatin' the slavery of another race,
+and a-sayin' that women ortn't to say her soul is her own, and wimmen
+are too weak and foolish to lift up their right hands, much less preach,
+I'd love to ask him where he and his race wuz twenty-five years ago, and
+where they would be to-day if it wuzn't for a woman usin' her right hand
+and her big heart and brain in his behalf, and preachin' for him all
+over the world and in almost every language under the sun. Everybody
+says that 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' wuz the searchin' harrow that loosened the
+old, hard ground of slavery so the rich seed of justice could be planted
+and bring forth freedom.
+
+"If it hadn't been for that woman's preachin', that negro exhauster
+would to-day most likely be a hoin' cotton with a overseer a-lashin' him
+up to his duties, and his wife and children and himself a-bein' bought
+and sold, and borrowed and lent and mortgaged and drove like so many
+animals. And I'd like to have riz right up in that Conference and told
+him so."
+
+"Oh, no," sez Josiah, lookin' some meachin', "no, you wouldn't."
+
+"Yes, I would," sez I. "And I'd 've enjoyed it _richly_" sez I, es I
+turned and put my sprig round the edge of the platter.
+
+[Illustration: SAMANTHA EXPRESSES HER VIEWS.]
+
+Casper wuz demute for as much as half a minute, and Josiah Allen looked
+machin' for about the same length of time.
+
+But, good land! how soon they got over it. They wuz as chipper as ever,
+a-runnin' down the idee of women settin', before they got half through
+dinner.
+
+After hard and arjuous work we got the scrapin' done, and the scrubbin'
+done, and then we proceeded to make a move towards puttin' on the paper.
+
+But the very day before we wuz to put on our first breadth, Sister
+Bobbet, our dependence and best paperer, fell down on a apple parin'
+and hurt her ankle jint, so's she couldn't stand on a barell for more'n
+several days.
+
+And we felt dretful cast down about it, for we all felt as if the work
+must stop till Sister Bobbet could be present and attend to it.
+
+But, as it turned out, it wuz perfectly providential, so fur as I wuz
+concerned, for on goin' home that night fearfully deprested on account
+of Sister Sylvester Bobbet, lo and behold! I found a letter there on my
+own mantletry piece that completely turned round my own plans. It come
+entirely onexpected to me, and contained the startlin' intelligence that
+my own cousin, on my mother's own side, had come home to Loontown to
+his sister's, and wuz very sick with nervous prostration, neuralgia,
+rheumatism, etc., and expected paralasys every minute, and heart
+failure, and such.
+
+[Illustration: "SISTER BOBBET, OUR DEPENDENCE, FELL DOWN ON A APPLE
+PARIN'".]
+
+And his sister, Miss Timson, who wrote the letter, beset me to come over
+and see him. She said, Jane Ann did (Miss Timson'ses name is Jane Ann),
+and sez she in Post scriptum remark to me, sez she--
+
+"Samantha, I know well your knowledge of sickness and your powers of
+takin' care of the sick. Do come and help me take care of Ralph, for it
+seems as if I can't let him go. Poor boy, he has worked so hard, and now
+I wuz in hopes that he wuz goin' to take some comfort in life, unbeknown
+to him. Do come and help him for my sake, and for Rosy's sake." Rosy wuz
+Ralph's only child, a pretty girl, but one ruther wild, and needin' jest
+now a father's strong hand.
+
+Rosy's mother died when she wuz a babe, and Ralph, who had always
+been dretful religius, felt it to be his duty to go and preach to the
+savages. So Miss Timson took the baby and Ralph left all his property
+with Miss Timson to use for her, and then he girded up his lions, took
+his Bible and him book and went out West and tackled the savages.
+
+Tackled 'em in a perfectly religius way, and done sights of good, sights
+and sights. For all he wuz so mild and gentle and religius, he got the
+upper hand of them savages in some way, and he brung 'em into the church
+by droves, and they jest worshipped him.
+
+Wall, he worked so hard a-tryin' to do good and save souls that wuz
+lost--a-tryin' single-handed to overthrow barberus beliefs and habits,
+and set up the pure and peaceful doctrines of the Master.
+
+[Illustration: RALPH SMITH ROBINSON.]
+
+He loved and followed, that his health gin out after a time--he felt
+weak and mauger.
+
+And jest about this time his sister wrote to him that Rosy havin' got
+in with gay companions, wuz a gettin' beyond her influence, and she
+_needed_ a father's control and firm hand to guide her right, or else
+she would be liable to go to the wrong, and draw lots of others with
+her, for she wuz a born leader amongst her mates, jest as her father
+wuz--so wouldn't Ralph come home.
+
+Wall, Ralph come. His sister and girl jest worshipped him, and looked
+and longed for his comin', as only tender-hearted wimmen can love
+and worship a hero. For if there wuz ever a hero it wuz Ralph Smith
+Robinson.
+
+Wall, Ralph had been in the unbroken silences of nature so long, that
+the clack, and crash, and clamor of what we call civilized life almost
+crazed him.
+
+He had been where his Maker almost seemed to come down and walk with
+him through the sweet, unbroken stillnesses of mornin' and evenin'. The
+world seemed so fur off to him, and the Eternal Verities of life so
+near, that truly, it sometimes seemed to him as if, like one of old, "he
+walked with God." Of course the savages war-whooped some, but they
+wuz still a good deal of the time, which is more than you can say for
+Yankees.
+
+And Loontown when he got home was rent to its very twain with a
+Presidential election.
+
+Ralph suffered.
+
+But above all his other sufferin's, he suffered from church bells.
+
+Miss Timson lived, as it wuz her wish, and often her boast, right under
+the droppin's of the sanctuary.
+
+She lotted on it when she bought the place. The Baptist steeple towered
+up right by the side of her house. Her spare bed wuz immegietly under
+the steeple.
+
+Wall, comin' as he did from a place where he wuz called to worship by
+the voice of his soul and his good silver watch--this volume of clamor,
+this rushin' Niagara of sound a-pourin' down into his ears, wuz
+perfectly intolerable and onbeerable. He would lay awake till mornin'
+dreadin' the sound, and then colapse under it, till it run along and he
+come down with nervous fever.
+
+He wuz worn out no doubt by his labors before he come, and any way he
+wuz took bed-sick, and couldn't be moved so's the doctor said, and he
+bein' outside of his own head, delerius, couldn't of course advance no
+idees of his own, so he lay and suffered.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 5.
+by Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley)
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA AMONG THE BRETHREN, ***
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