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diff --git a/9450-h/9450-h.htm b/9450-h/9450-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c9158d7 --- /dev/null +++ b/9450-h/9450-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,10774 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <title> + SAMANTHA AMONG THE BRETHREN, COMPLETE + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 2em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 20%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 25%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + pre { font-family: Times; font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> + <h1> + SAMANTHA AMONG THE BRETHREN + </h1> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Samantha Among the Brethren, Complete +by Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Samantha Among the Brethren, Complete + +Author: Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley) + +Release Date: August 10, 2004 [EBook #9450] +Last Updated: February 28, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA AMONG THE BRETHREN, *** + + + + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, David Widger and PG Distributed +Proofreaders + + + + + + +</pre> + + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="002.jpg (24K)" src="images/002.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="001.jpg (118K)" src="images/001.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h1> + SAMANTHA<br /> <br /> AMONG THE BRETHREN. + </h1> + <h3> + BY + </h3> + <h3> + “JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE” + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + (MARIETTA HOLLEY). + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + <i>WITH ILLUSTRATIONS</i> + </h3> + <p> + .<br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + 1890 + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + TO + </h3> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h3> + All Women + </h3> + <p> + WHO WORK, TRYING TO BRING INTO DARK LIVES + </p> + <p> + THE BRIGHTNESS AND HOPE OF A + </p> + <p> + BETTER COUNTRY, + </p> + <p> + <i>THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED</i>. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + PREFACE. + </h2> + <p> + Again it come to pass, in the fulness of time, that my companion, Josiah + Allen, see me walk up and take my ink stand off of the manteltry piece, + and carry it with a calm and majestick gait to the corner of the settin' + room table devoted by me to literary pursuits. And he sez to me: + </p> + <p> + “What are you goin' to tackle now, Samantha?” + </p> + <p> + And sez I, with quite a good deal of dignity, “The Cause of Eternal + Justice, Josiah Allen.” + </p> + <p> + “Anythin' else?” sez he, lookin' sort o' oneasy at me. (That man realizes + his shortcomin's, I believe, a good deal of the time, he duz.) + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez I, “I lay out in petickuler to tackle the Meetin' House. She is + in the wrong on't, and I want to set her right.” + </p> + <p> + Josiah looked sort o' relieved like, but he sez out, in a kind of a pert + way, es he set there a-shellin corn for the hens: + </p> + <p> + “A Meetin' House hadn't ort to be called she—it is a he.” + </p> + <p> + And sez I, “How do you know?” + </p> + <p> + And he sez, “Because it stands to reason it is. And I'd like to know what + you have got to say about him any way?” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “That 'him' don't sound right, Josiah Allen. It sounds more right + and nateral to call it 'she.' Why,” sez I, “hain't we always hearn about + the Mother Church, and don't the Bible tell about the Church bein' arrayed + like a bride for her husband? I never in my life hearn it called a 'he' + before.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, wall, there has always got to be a first time. And I say it sounds + better. But what have you got to say about the Meetin' House, anyway?” + </p> + <p> + “I have got this to say, Josiah Allen. The Meetin' House hain't a-actin' + right about wimmen. The Founder of the Church wuz born of woman. It wuz on + a woman's heart that His head wuz pillowed first and last. While others + slept she watched over His baby slumbers and His last sleep. A woman wuz + His last thought and care. Before dawn she wuz at the door of the tomb, + lookin' for His comin'. So she has stood ever sense—waitin', + watchin', hopin', workin' for the comin' of Christ. Workin', waitin' for + His comin' into the hearts of tempted wimmen and tempted men—fallen + men and fallen wimmen—workin', waitin', toilin', nursin' the baby + good in the hearts of a sinful world—weepin' pale-faced over its + crucefixion—lookin' for its reserection. Oh how she has worked all + through the ages!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh shaw!” sez Josiah, “some wimmen don't care about anythin' but crazy + work and back combs.” + </p> + <p> + I felt took down, for I had been riz up, quite considerble, but I sez, + reasonable: + </p> + <p> + “Yes, there are such wimmen, Josiah, but think of the sweet and saintly + souls that have given all their lives, and hopes, and thoughts to the + Meetin' House—think of the throngs to-day that crowd the aisles of + the Sanctuary—there are five wimmen to one man, I believe, in all + the meetin' houses to-day a-workin' in His name. True Daughters of the + King, no matter what their creed may be—Catholic or Protestant. + </p> + <p> + “And while wimmen have done all this work for the Meetin' House, the + Meetin' House ort to be honorable and do well by her.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall, hain't <i>he</i>?” sez Josiah. + </p> + <p> + “No, <i>she</i> hain't,” sez I. + </p> + <p> + “Wall, what petickuler fault do you find? What has <i>he</i> done lately + to rile you up?” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “<i>She</i> wuz in the wrong on't in not lettin' wimmen set on the + Conference.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall, I say <i>he</i> wuz right,” sez Josiah. “<i>He</i> knew, and I + knew, that wimmen wuzn't strong enough to set.” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” sez I, “it don't take so much strength to set as it duz to stand + up. And after workin' as hard as wimmen have for the Meetin' House, she + ort to have the priveledge of settin'. And I am goin' to write out jest + what I think about it.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez Josiah, as he started for the barn with the hen feed, “don't + be too severe with the Meetin' House.” + </p> + <p> + And then, after he went out, he opened the door agin and stuck his head in + and sez: + </p> + <p> + “Don't be too hard on <i>him</i>” + </p> + <p> + And then he shet the door quick, before I could say a word. But good land! + I didn't care. I knew I could say what I wanted to with my faithful pen—and + I am bound to say it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE, Bonny View,<br /> near Adams, New York,<br /> + Oct. 14th, 1890. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + CONTENTS. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <a href="#c1">CHAPTER I.</a> <br /><br /> + <a href="#c2">CHAPTER II.</a><br /><br /> <a href="#c3">CHAPTER III.</a><br /><br /> + <a href="#c4">CHAPTER IV.</a><br /><br /> <a href="#c5">CHAPTER V.</a><br /><br /> + <a href="#c6">CHAPTER VI.</a><br /><br /> <a href="#c7">CHAPTER VII.</a><br /><br /> + <a href="#c8">CHAPTER VIII.</a> <br /><br /> <a + href="#c9">CHAPTER IX.</a><br /><br /> <a href="#c10">CHAPTER X.</a><br /><br /> + <a href="#c11">CHAPTER XI.</a><br /><br /> <a href="#c12">CHAPTER XII.</a><br /><br /> + <a href="#c13">CHAPTER XIII.</a><br /><br /> <a href="#c14">CHAPTER XIV.</a><br /><br /> + <a href="#c15">CHAPTER XV.</a> <br /><br /> <a + href="#c16">CHAPTER XVI.</a><br /><br /> <a href="#c17">CHAPTER XVII.</a><br /><br /> + <a href="#c18">CHAPTER XVIII.</a><br /><br /> <a href="#c19">CHAPTER XIX.</a><br /><br /> + <a href="#c20">CHAPTER XX.</a><br /><br /> <a href="#c21">CHAPTER XXI.</a><br /><br /> + <a href="#c22">CHAPTER XXII.</a><br /><br /> <a href="#c23">CHAPTER XXIII.</a><br /><br /> + <a href="#c24">CHAPTER XXIV.</a><br /><br /> <a href="#c25">CHAPTER XXV.</a><br /><br /> + <a href="#c26">CHAPTER XXVI.</a><br /><br /> <a href="#c27">CHAPTER XXVII.</a><br /><br /> + <a href="#c28">CHAPTER XXVIII.</a><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <i><a + href="#appendix">Publishers' Appendix</a></i> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a + name="c1" id="c1"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="003c1.jpg (74K)" src="images/003c1.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER I. + </p> + <p> + When I first heard that wimmen wuz goin' to make a effort to set on a + Conference, it wuz on a Wednesday, as I remember well. For my companion, + Josiah Allen, had drove over to Loontown in a Democrat and in a great + hurry, to meet two men who wanted him to go into a speculation with 'em. + </p> + <p> + And it wuz kinder curious to meditate on it, that they wuz all deacons, + every one on 'em. Three on 'em wuz Baptis'es, and two on 'em had jined our + meetin' house, deacons, and the old name clung to 'em—we spoze + because they wuz such good, stiddy men, and looked up to. + </p> + <p> + Take 'em all together there wuz five deacons. The two foreign deacons from + 'way beyond Jonesville, Deacon Keeler and Deacon Huffer, and our own three + Jonesvillians—Deacon Henzy, Deacon Sypher, and my own particular + Deacon, Josiah Allen. + </p> + <p> + It wuz a wild and hazardous skeme that them two foreign deacons wuz + a-proposin', and I wuz strongly in favor of givin' 'em a negative answer; + but Josiah wuz fairly crazy with the idee, and so wuz Deacon Henzy and + Deacon Sypher (their wives told me how they felt). + </p> + <p> + The idee was to build a buzz saw mill on the creek that runs through + Jonesville, and have branches of it extend into Zoar, Loontown, and other + more adjacent townships (the same creek runs through 'em all). + </p> + <p> + As near as I could get it into my head, there wuz to be a buzz saw mill + apiece for the five deacons—each one of 'em to overlook their own + particular buzz saw—but the money comin' from all on 'em to be + divided up equal among the five deacons. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="004.jpg (122K)" src="images/004.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + They thought there wuz lots of money in the idee. But I wuz very set + against it from the first. It seemed to me that to have buzz saws + a-permeatin' the atmosphere, as you may say, for so wide a space, would + make too much of a confusion and noise, to say nothin' of the jarin' that + would take place and ensue. I felt more and more, as I meditated on the + subject, that a buzz saw, although estimable in itself, yet it wuz not a + spear in which a religious deacon could withdraw from the world, and + ponder on the great questions pertainin' to his own and the world's + salvation. + </p> + <p> + I felt it wuz not a spear that he could revolve round in and keep that + apartness from this world and nearness to the other, that I felt that + deacons ought to cultivate. + </p> + <p> + But my idees wuz frowned at by every man in Jonesville, when I ventured to + promulgate 'em. They all said, “The better the man, the better the deed.” + </p> + <p> + They said, “The better the man wuz, the better the buzz saw he would be + likely to run.” The fact wuz, they needed some buzz saw mills bad, and wuz + very glad to have these deacons lay holt of 'em. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="005.jpg (68K)" src="images/005.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + But I threw out this question at 'em, and stood by it—“If bein' set + apart as a deacon didn't mean anything? If there wuzn't any deacon-work + that they ought to be expected to do—and if it wuz right for 'em to + go into any world's work so wild and hazardous and engrossin', as this + enterprise?” + </p> + <p> + And again they sez to me in stern, decided axents, “The better the man, + the better the deed. We need buzz saws.” + </p> + <p> + And then they would turn their backs to me and stalk away very + high-headed. + </p> + <p> + And I felt that I wuz a gettin' fearfully onpopular all through + Jonesville, by my questions. I see that the hull community wuz so sot on + havin' them five deacons embark onto these buzz saws that they would not + brook any interference, least of all from a female woman. + </p> + <p> + But I had a feelin' that Josiah Allen wuz, as you may say, my lawful prey. + I felt that I had a right to question my own pardner for the good of his + own soul, and my piece of mind. + </p> + <p> + And I sez to him in solemn axents: + </p> + <p> + “Josiah Allen, what time will you get when you are fairly started on your + buzz saw, for domestic life, or social, or for religious duties?” + </p> + <p> + And Josiah sez, “Dumb 'em! I guess a man is a goin' to make money when he + has got a chance.” And I asked him plain if he had got so low, and if I + had lived with him twenty years for this, to hear him in the end dumb + religious duties. + </p> + <p> + And Josiah acted skairt and conscience smut for most half a minute, and + said, “he didn't dumb 'em.” + </p> + <p> + “What wuz you dumbin'?” sez I, coldly. + </p> + <p> + “I wuz dumbin' the idee,” sez he, “that a man can't make money when he has + a chance to.” + </p> + <p> + But I sez, a haulin' up this strong argument agin— + </p> + <p> + “Every one of you men, who are a layin' holt of this enterprise and + a-embarkin' onto this buzz saw are married men, and are deacons in a + meetin' house. Now this work you are a-talkin' of takin' up will devour + all of your time, every minute of it, that you can spare from your farms. + </p> + <p> + “And to say nothin' of your wives and children not havin' any chance of + havin' any comfort out of your society. What will become of the interests + of Zion at home and abroad, of foreign and domestic missions, prayer + meetin's, missionary societies, temperance meetin's and good works + generally?” + </p> + <p> + And then again I thought, and it don't seem as if I can be mistaken, I + most know that I heerd Josiah Allen mutter in a low voice, + </p> + <p> + “Dumb good works!” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="006.jpg (97K)" src="images/006.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + But I wouldn't want this told of, for I may be mistook. I didn't fairly + ketch the words, and I spoke out agin, in dretful meanin' and harrowin' + axents, and sez, “What will become of all this gospel work?” + </p> + <p> + And Josiah had by this time got over his skare and conscience smite (men + can't keep smut for more'n several minutes anyway, their consciences are + so elastic; good land! rubber cord can't compare with 'em), and he had + collected his mind all together, and he spoke out low and clear, and in a + tone as if he wuz fairly surprised I should make the remark: + </p> + <p> + “Why, the gospel work will get along jest as it always has, the wimmen + will 'tend to it.” + </p> + <p> + And I own I was kinder lost and by the side of myself when I asked the + question—and very anxious to break up the enterprise or I shouldn't + have put the question to him. + </p> + <p> + For I well knew jest as he did that wimmen wuz most always the ones to go + ahead in church and charitable enterprises. And especially now, for there + wuz a hardness arozen amongst the male men of the meetin' house, and they + wouldn't do a thing they could help (but of this more anon and bimeby). + </p> + <p> + There wuz two or three old males in the meetin' house, too old to get mad + and excited easy, that held firm, and two very pious old male brothers, + but poor, very poor, had to be supported by the meetin' house, and lame. + They stood firm, or as firm as they could on such legs as theirs wuz, + inflammatory rheumatiz and white swellin's and such. + </p> + <p> + But all the rest had got their feelin's hurt, and got mad, etc., and + wouldn't do a thing to help the meetin' house along. + </p> + <p> + Well, I tried every lawful, and mebby a little on-lawful way to break this + enterprise of theirs up—and, as I heern afterwards, so did Sister + Henzy. + </p> + <p> + Sister Sypher is so wrapped up in Deacon Sypher that she would embrace a + buzz saw mill or any other enterprise he could bring to bear onto her. + </p> + <p> + “She would be perfectly willin' to be trompled on,” so she often sez, “if + Deacon Sypher wuz to do the tromplin'.” + </p> + <p> + Some sez he duz. + </p> + <p> + Wall, in spite of all my efforts, and in spite of all Sister Henzy's + efforts, our deacons seemed to jest flourish on this skeme of theirn. And + when we see it wuz goin' to be a sure thing, even Sister Sypher begin to + feel bad. + </p> + <p> + She told Albina Widrig, and Albina told Miss Henn, and Miss Henn told me, + that “what to do she didn't know, it would deprive her of so much of the + deacon's society.” It wuz goin' to devour so much of his time that she wuz + afraid she couldn't stand it. She told Albina in confidence (and Albina + wouldn't want it told of, nor Miss Henn, nor I wouldn't) that she had + often been obleeged to go out into the lot between breakfast and dinner to + see the deacon, not bein' able to stand it without lookin' on his face + till dinner time. + </p> + <p> + And when she was laid up with a lame foot it wuz known that the deacon + left his plowin' and went up to the house, or as fur as the door step, + four or five times in the course of a mornin's work, it wuz spozed because + she wuz fearful of forgettin' how he looked before noon. + </p> + <p> + She is a dretful admirin' woman. + </p> + <p> + She acts dretful reverential and admirin' towards men—always calls + her husband “the Deacon,” as if he was the one lonely deacon who was + perambulatin' the globe at this present time. And it is spozed that when + she dreams about him she dreams of him as “the Deacon,” and not as Samuel + (his given name is Samuel). + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="007.jpg (120K)" src="images/007.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + But we don't know that for certain. We only spoze it. For the land of + dreams is a place where you can't slip on your sun-bonnet and foller + neighbor wimmen to see what they are a-doin' or what they are a-sayin' + from hour to hour. + </p> + <p> + No, the best calculator on gettin' neighborhood news can't even look into + that land, much less foller a neighborin' female into it. + </p> + <p> + No, their barks have got to be moored outside of them mysterious shores. + </p> + <p> + But, as I said, this had been spozen. + </p> + <p> + But it is known from actual eyesight that she marks all her sheets, and + napkins, and piller-cases, and such, “M. D. S.” And I asked her one day + what the M. stood for, for I 'spozed, of course, the D. S. stood for + Drusillia Sypher. + </p> + <p> + And she told me with a real lot of dignity that the initials stood for + “Miss Deacon Sypher.” + </p> + <p> + Wall, the Jonesville men have been in the habit of holdin' her up as a + pattern to their wives for some time, and the Jonesville wimmen hain't + hated her so bad as you would spoze they all would under the + circumstances, on account, we all think, of her bein' such a good-hearted + little creeter. We all like Drusilly and can't help it. + </p> + <p> + Wall, even she felt bad and deprested on account of her Deacon's goin' + into the buzz saw-mill business. + </p> + <p> + But she didn't say nothin', only wept out at one side, and wiped up every + time he came in sight. + </p> + <p> + They say that she hain't never failed once of a-smilin' on the Deacon + every time he came home. And once or twice he has got as mad as a hen at + her for smilin'. Once, when he came home with a sore thumb—he had + jest smashed it in the barn door—and she stood a-smilin' at him on + the door step, there are them that say the Deacon called her a “infernal + fool.” + </p> + <p> + But I never have believed it. I don't believe he would demean himself so + low. + </p> + <p> + But he yelled out awful at her, I do 'spoze, for his pain wuz intense, and + she stood stun still, a-smilin' at him, jest accordin' to the story books. + And he sez: + </p> + <p> + “Stand there like a——fool, will you! Get me a <i>rag!</i>” + </p> + <p> + I guess he did say as much as that. + </p> + <p> + But they say she kept on a-smilin' for some time—couldn't seem to + stop, she had got so hardened into that way. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="008.jpg (61K)" src="images/008.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And once, when her face wuz all swelled up with the toothache, she smiled + at him accordin' to rule when he got home, and they say the effect wuz + fearful, both on her looks and the Deacon's acts. They say he was mad + again, and called her some names. But as a general thing they get along + first rate, I guess, or as well as married folks in general, and he makes + a good deal of her. + </p> + <p> + I guess they get along without any more than the usual amount of + difficulties between husbands and wives, and mebby with less. I know this, + anyway, that she just about worships the Deacon. + </p> + <p> + Wall, as I say, it was the very day that these three deacons went to + Loontown to meet Deacon Keeler and Deacon Huffer, to have a conference + together as to the interests of the buzz saw mill that I first heard the + news that wimmen wuz goin' to make a effort to set on the Methodist + Conference, and the way I heerd on't wuz as follows: + </p> + <p> + Josiah Allen brought home to me that night a paper that one of the foreign + deacons, Deacon Keeler, had lent him. It contained a article that wuz + wrote by Deacon Keeler's son, Casper Keeler—a witherin' article + about wimmen's settin' on the Conference. It made all sorts of fun of the + projeck. + </p> + <p> + We found out afterwards that Casper Keeler furnished nearly all the + capital for the buzz saw mill enterprise at his father's urgent request. + His father, Deacon Keeler, didn't have a cent of money of his own; it fell + onto Casper from his mother and aunt. They had kept a big millinery store + in the town of Lyme, and a branch store in Loontown, and wuz great + workers, and had laid up a big property. And when they died, the aunt, + bein' a maiden woman at the time, the money naturally fell onto Casper. He + wuz a only child, and they had brung him up tender, and fairly worshipped + him. + </p> + <p> + They left him all the money, but left a anuety to be paid yearly to his + father, Deacon Keeler, enough to support him. + </p> + <p> + The Deacon and his wife had always lived happy together—she loved to + work, and he loved to have her work, so they had similar tastes, and wuz + very congenial—and when she died he had the widest crape on his hat + that wuz ever seen in the town of Lyme. (The crape was some she had left + in the shop.) + </p> + <p> + He mourned deep, both in his crape and his feelin's, there hain't a doubt + of that. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Miss Keelerses will provided money special for Casper to be educated + high. So he went to school and to college, from the time he was born, + almost. So he knew plenty of big words, and used 'em fairly lavish in this + piece. There wuz words in it of from six to seven syllables. Why, I hadn't + no idee till I see 'em with my own eye, that there wuz any such words in + the English language, and words of from four to six syllables wuz common + in it. + </p> + <p> + His father, Deacon Keeler, wouldn't give the paper to my companion, he + thought so much of it, but he offered to lend it to him, because he said + he felt that the idees it promulgated wuz so sound and deep they ought to + be disseminated abroad. + </p> + <p> + The idees wuz, “that wimmen hadn't no business to set on the Conference. + She wuz too weak to set on it. It wuz too high a place for her too ventur' + on, or to set on with any ease. There wuzn't no more than room up there + for what men would love to set on it. Wimmen's place wuz in the sacred + precinks of home. She wuz a tender, fragile plant, that needed guardin' + and guidin' and kep by man's great strength and tender care from havin' + any cares and labors whatsoever and wheresoever and howsumever.” + </p> + <p> + Josiah said it wuz a masterly dockument. And it wuz writ well. It painted + in wild, glarin' colors the fear that men had that wimmen would strain + themselves to do anything at all in the line of work—or would weaken + her hull constitution, and lame her moral faculties, and ruin herself by + tryin' to set up on a Conference, or any other high and tottlin' eminence. + </p> + <p> + The piece wuz divided into three different parts, with a headin' in big + letters over each one. + </p> + <p> + The <i>first</i> wuz, wimmen to have no labors and cares WHATSOEVER; + </p> + <p> + <i>Secondly</i>, NONE WHERESOEVER; + </p> + <p> + <i>Thirdly</i>, NONE HOWSUMEVER. + </p> + <p> + The writer then proceeded to say that he would show first, <i>what</i> + cares and labors men wuz willin' and anxious to ward offen women. And he + proved right out in the end that there wuzn't a thing that they wanted + wimmen to do—not a single thing. + </p> + <p> + Then he proceeded to tell <i>where</i> men wuz willin' to keep their + labors and cares offen wimmen. And he proved it right out that it wuz + every <i>where</i>. In the home, the little sheltered, love-guarded home + of the farmer, the mechanic and the artizen (makin' special mention of the + buzz sawyers). And also in the palace walls and the throne. There and + every <i>where</i> men would fain shelter wimmen from every care, and + every labor, even the lightest and slightest. + </p> + <p> + Then lastly came the <i>howsumever</i>. He proceeded to show <i>how</i> + this could be done. And he proved it right out (or thought he did) that + the first great requisit' to accomplish all this, wuz to keep wimmen in + her place. Keep her from settin' on the Conference, and all other tottlin' + eminences, fitted only for man's stalwart strength. + </p> + <p> + And the end of the article wuz so sort of tragick and skairful that Josiah + wept when he read it. He pictured it out in such strong colors, the danger + there wuz of puttin' wimmen, or allowin' her to put herself in such a high + and percipitous place, such a skairful and dangerous posture as settin' up + on a Conference. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="009.jpg (113K)" src="images/009.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “To have her set up on it,” sez the writer, in conclusion, “would endanger + her life, her spiritual, her mental and her moral growth. It would shake + the permanency of the sacred home relations to its downfall. It would + hasten anarchy, and he thought sizm.” Why, Josiah Allen handled that paper + as if it wuz pure gold. I know he asked me anxiously as he handed it to me + to read, “if my hands wuz perfectly clean,” and we had some words about + it. + </p> + <p> + And till he could pass it on to Deacon Sypher to read he kep it in the + Bible. He put it right over in Galatians, for I looked to see—Second + Galatians. + </p> + <p> + And he wrapped it up in a soft handkerchief when he carried it over to + Deacon Sypherses. And Deacon Sypher treasured it like a pearl of great + price (so I spoze) till he could pass it on to Deacon Henzy. + </p> + <p> + And Deacon Henzy was to carry it with care to a old male Deacon in Zoar, + bed rid. + </p> + <p> + Wall, as I say, that is the very first I had read about their bein' any + idee promulgated of wimmens settin' up on the Conference. + </p> + <p> + And I, in spite of Josiah Allen's excitement, wuz in favor on't from the + very first. + </p> + <p> + Yes, I wuz awfully in favor of it, and all I went through durin' the next + and ensuin' weeks didn't put the idee out of my head. No, far from it. It + seemed as if the severer my sufferin's wuz, the much more this idee + flourished in my soul. Just as a heavy plow will meller up the soil so + white lilies can take root, or any other kind of sweet posies. + </p> + <p> + And oh! my heart! wuz not my sufferin's with Lodema Trumble, a hard plow + and a harrowin' one, and one that turned up deep furrows? + </p> + <p> + But of this, more anon and bimeby. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c2" id="c2"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="010c2.jpg (98K)" src="images/010c2.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER II. + </p> + <p> + Wall, it wuz on the very next day—on a Thursday as I remember well, + for I wuz a-thinkin' why didn't Lodema's letter come the next day—Fridays + bein' considered onlucky—and it being a day for punishments, + hangin's, and so forth. + </p> + <p> + But it didn't, it came on a Thursday. And my companion had been to + Jonesville and brung me back two letters; he brung 'em in, leavin' the old + mair standin' at the gate, and handed me the letters, ten pounds of + granulated sugar, a pound of tea, and the request I should have supper on + the table by the time that he got back from Deacon Henzy's. + </p> + <p> + (On that old buzz-saw business agin, so I spozed, but wouldn't ask.) + </p> + <p> + Wall, I told him supper wuz begun any way, and he had better hurry back. + But he wuz belated by reason of Deacon Henzy's bein' away, so I set there + for some time alone. + </p> + <p> + Wall, I wuz goin' to have some scolloped oysters for supper, so the first + thing I did wuz to put 'em into the oven—they wuz all ready, I had + scolloped 'em before Josiah come, and got 'em all ready for the oven—and + then I set down and read my letters. + </p> + <p> + Wall, the first one I opened wuz from Lodema Trumble, Josiah's cousin on + his own side. And her letter brought the sad and harrowin' intelligence + that she was a-comin' to make us a good long visit. The letter had been + delayed. She was a-comin' that very night, or the next day. Wall, I sithed + deep. I love company dearly, but—oh my soul, is there not a + difference, a difference in visitors? + </p> + <p> + Wall, suffice it to say, I sithed deep, and opened the other letter, + thinkin' it would kind o' take my mind off. + </p> + <p> + And for all the world! I couldn't hardly believe my eyes. But it wuz! It + wuz from Serena Fogg. It wuz from the Authoress of “Wedlock's Peaceful + Repose.” + </p> + <p> + I hadn't heard a word from her for upwards of four years. And the letter + brung me startlin' intelligence. + </p> + <p> + It opened with the unexpected information that she wuz married. She had + been married three years and a half to a butcher out to the Ohio. + </p> + <p> + And I declare my first thought wuz as I read it, “Wall, she has wrote + dretful flowery on wedlock, and its perfect, onbroken calm, and peaceful + repose, and now she has had a realizin' sense of what it really is.” + </p> + <p> + But when I read a little further, I see what the letter wuz writ for. I + see why, at this late day, she had started up and writ me a letter. I see + it wuz writ on duty. + </p> + <p> + She said she had found out that I wuz in the right on't and she wuzn't. + She said that when in the past she had disputed me right up and down, and + insisted that wedlock wuz a state of perfect serenity, never broken in + upon by any cares or vexations whatsomever, she wuz in the wrong on't. + </p> + <p> + She said she had insisted that when anybody had moored their barks into + that haven of wedded life, that they wuz forever safe from any rude + buffetin's from the world's waves; that they wuz exempt from any toil, any + danger, any sorrow, any trials whatsomever. And she had found she was + mistook. + </p> + <p> + She said I told her it wuz a first-rate state, and a satisfactory one for + wimmen; but still it had its trials, and she had found it so. She said + that I insisted its serenity wuz sometimes broken in upon, and she had + found it so. The last day at my house had tottled her faith, and her own + married experience had finished the work. Her husband wuz a worthy man, + and she almost worshipped him. But he had a temper, and he raved round + considerable when meals wuzn't ready on time, and she havin' had two pairs + of twins durin' her union (she comes from a family on her mother's side, + so I had hearn before, where twins wuz contagious), she couldn't always be + on the exact minute. She had to work awful hard; this broke in on her + serenity. + </p> + <p> + Her husband devotedly loved her, so she said; but still, she said, his + bootjack had been throwed voyalent where corns wuz hit onexpected. + </p> + <p> + Their souls wuz mated firm as they could be in deathless ties of affection + and confidence, yet doors <i>had</i> been slammed and oaths emitted, when + clothin' rent and buttons tarried not with him. Strange actions and + demeanors had been displayed in hours of high-headedness and impatience, + which had skaired her almost to death before gettin' accustomed to 'em. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="011.jpg (114K)" src="images/011.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + The four twins broke in also on her waveless calm. They wuz lovely + cherubs, and the four apples of her eyes. But they did yell at times, they + kicked, they tore round and acted; they made work—lots of work. And + one out of each pair snored. It broke up each span, as you may say. The + snorin' filled each room devoted to 'em. + </p> + <p> + <i>He</i> snored, loud. A good man and a noble man he wuz, so she repeated + it, but she found out too late—too late, that he snored. The house + wuz small; she could <i>not</i> escape from snores, turn she where she + would. She got tired out with her work days, and couldn't rest nights. Her + husband, as he wuz doin' such a flourishin' business, had opened a + cattle-yard near the house. She wuz proud of his growin' trade, but the + bellerin' of the cattle disturbed her fearfully. Also the calves bleating + and the lambs callin' on their dams. + </p> + <p> + It wuz a long letter, filled with words like these, and it ended up by + saying that for years now she had wanted to write and tell me that I had + been in the right on't and she in the wrong. I had been megum and she + hadn't. And she ended by sayin', “God bless me and adoo.” + </p> + <p> + The fire crackled softly on the clean hearth. The teakettle sung a song of + welcome and cheer. The oysters sent out an agreeable atmosphere. The snowy + table, set out in pretty china and glassware, looked invitin', and I set + there comfortable and happy and so peaceful in my frame, that the events + of the past, in which Serena Fogg had flourished, seemed but as yesterday. + </p> + <p> + I thought it all over, that pleasant evenin' in the past, when Josiah + Allen had come in unexpected, and brung the intelligence to me that there + wuz goin' to be a lectur' give that evenin' by a young female at the + Jonesville school-house, and beset me to go. + </p> + <p> + And I give my consent. Then my mind travelled down that pleasant road, + moongilded, to the school-house. It stopped on the door-step while Josiah + hitched the mair. + </p> + <p> + We found the school-house crowded full, fur a female lecturer wuz a + rarity, and she wuz a pretty girl, as pretty a girl as I ever see in my + life. + </p> + <p> + And it wuz a pretty lecture, too, dretful pretty. The name of the lecture + wuz, “Wedlock's Peaceful and Perfect Repose.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="012.jpg (45K)" src="images/012.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + A pretty name, I think, and it wuz a beautiful lecture, very, and + extremely flowery. It affected some of the hearers awfully; they wuz all + carried away with it. Josiah Allen wept like a child durin' the rehearsin' + of it. I myself didn't weep, but I enjoyed it, some of it, first rate. + </p> + <p> + I can't begin to tell it all as she did, 'specially after this length of + time, in such a lovely, flowery way, but I can probably give a few of the + heads of it. + </p> + <p> + It hain't no ways likely that I can give the heads half the stylish, + eloquent look that she did as she held 'em up, but I can jest give the + bare heads. + </p> + <p> + She said that there had been a effort made in some directions to try to + speak against the holy state of matrimony. The papers had been full of the + subject, “Is Marriage a Failure, or is it not?” + </p> + <p> + She had even read these dreadful words—“Marriage is a Failure.” She + hated these words, she despised 'em. And while some wicked people spoke + against this holy institution, she felt it to be her duty, as well as + privilege, to speak in its praise. + </p> + <p> + I liked it first rate, I can tell you, when she went on like that. For no + living soul can uphold marriage with a better grace that can she whose + name vuz once Smith. + </p> + <p> + I <i>love</i> Josiah Allen, I am <i>glad</i> that I married him. But at + the same time, my almost devoted love doesn't make me blind. I can see on + every side of a subject, and although, as I said heretofore, and prior, I + love Josiah Allen, I also love megumness, and I could not fully agree with + every word she said. + </p> + <p> + But she went on perfectly beautiful—I didn't wonder it brought the + school-house down—about the holy calm and perfect rest of marriage, + and how that calm wuz never invaded by any rude cares. + </p> + <p> + How man watched over the woman he loved; how he shielded her from every + rude care; kept labor and sorrow far, far from her; how woman's life wuz + like a oneasy, roarin', rushin' river, that swept along discontented and + onsatisfied, moanin' and lonesome, until it swept into the calm sea of + Repose—melted into union with the grand ocian of Rest, marriage. + </p> + <p> + And then, oh! how calm and holy and sheltered wuz that state! How + peaceful, how onruffled by any rude changes! Happiness, Peace, Calm! Oh, + how sweet, how deep wuz the ocian of True Love in which happy, united + souls bathed in blissful repose! + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="013.jpg (125K)" src="images/013.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + It was dretful pretty talk, and middlin' affectin'. There wasn't a dry eye + in Josiah Allen's head, and I didn't make no objection to his givin' vent + to his feelin's, only when I see him bust out a-weepin' I jest slipped my + pocket-handkerchief 'round his neck and pinned it behind. (His + handkerchief wuz in constant use, a cryin' and weepin' as he wuz.) And I + knew that salt water spots black satin awfully. He had on a new vest. + </p> + <p> + Submit Tewksbury cried and wept, and wept and cried, caused by + remembrances, it wuz spozed. Of which, more anon, and bimeby. + </p> + <p> + And Drusilly Sypher, Deacon Sypherses wife, almost had a spazzum, caused + by admiration and bein' so highly tickled. + </p> + <p> + I myself didn't shed any tears, as I have said heretofore. And what kep' + me calmer wuz, I <i>knew</i>, I knew from the bottom of my heart, that she + went too fur, she wuzn't megum enough. + </p> + <p> + And then she went on to draw up metafors, and haul in illustrations, + comparin' married life and single—jest as likely metafors as I ever + see, and as good illustrations as wuz ever brung up, only they every one + of 'em had this fault—when she got to drawin' 'em, she drawed 'em + too fur. And though she brought the school-house down, she didn't convince + me. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="014.jpg (47K)" src="images/014.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Once she compared single life to a lonely goose travellin' alone acrost + the country, 'cross lots, lonesome and despairin', travellin' along over a + thorny way, and desolate, weighed down by melancholy and gloomy + forebodin's, and takin' a occasional rest by standin' up on one cold foot + and puttin' its weery head under its wing, with one round eye lookin' out + for dangers that menaced it, and lookin', also, perhaps, for a possible + mate, for the comin' gander—restless, wobblin', oneasy, miserable. + </p> + <p> + Why, she brought the school-house down, and got the audience all wrought + up with pity, and sympathy. Oh, how Submit Tewksbury did weep; she wept + aloud (she had been disappointed, but of this more bimeby). + </p> + <p> + And then she went on and compared that lonesome voyager to two blissful + wedded ones. A pair of white swans floatin' down the waveless calm, bathed + in silvery light, floatin' down a shinin' stream that wuz never broken by + rough waves, bathed in a sunshine that wuz never darkened by a cloud. + </p> + <p> + And then she went on to bring up lots of other things to compare the two + states to—flowery things and sweet, and eloquent. + </p> + <p> + She compared single life to quantities of things, strange, weird, + melancholy things, and curius. Why, they wuz so powerful that every one of + 'em brought the school-house down. + </p> + <p> + And then she compared married life to two apple blossoms hangin' together + on one leafy bough on the perfumed June air, floatin' back and forth under + the peaceful benediction of summer skies. + </p> + <p> + And she compared it to two white lambs gambolin' on the velvety hill-side. + To two strains of music meltin' into one dulcet harmony, perfect, divine + harmony, with no discordant notes. + </p> + <p> + Josiah hunched me, he wanted me to cry there, at that place, but I + wouldn't. He did, he cried like an infant babe, and I looked close and + searchin' to see if my handkerchief covered up all his vest. + </p> + <p> + He didn't seem to take no notice of his clothes at all, he wuz a-weepin' + so—why, the whole schoolhouse wept, wept like a babe. + </p> + <p> + But I didn't. I see it wuz a eloquent and powerful effort. I see it was + beautiful as anything could be, but it lacked that one thing I have + mentioned prior and before this time. It lacked megumness. + </p> + <p> + I knew they wuz all impressive and beautful illustrations, I couldn't deny + it, and I didn't want to deny it. But I knew in my heart that the lonely + goose that she had talked so eloquent about, I knew that though its path + might be tegus the most of the time, yet occasionally it stepped upon + velvet grass and blossomin' daisies. And though the happy wedded swans + floated considerable easy a good deal of the time, yet occasionally they + had their wings rumpled by storms, thunder storms, sudden squalls, and et + cetery, et cetery. + </p> + <p> + And I knew the divine harmony of wedded love, though it is the sweetest + that earth affords, I knew that, and my Josiah knew it—the very + sweetest and happiest strains that earthly lips can sing. + </p> + <p> + Yet I knew that it wuz both heavenly sweet, and divinely sad, blended + discord and harmony. I knew there wuz minor chords in it, as well as + major, I knew that we must await love's full harmony in heaven. There + shall we sing it with the pure melody of the immortals, my Josiah and me. + But I am a eppisodin', and to continue and resoom. + </p> + <p> + Wall, we wuz invited to meet the young female after the lecture wuz over, + to be introduced to her and talk it over. + </p> + <p> + She wuz the Methodist minister's wive's cousin, and the minister's wife + told me she wuz dretful anxious to get my opinion on the lecture. I spoze + she wanted to get the opinion of one of the first wimmen of the day. For + though I am fur from bein' the one that ort to mention it, I have heard of + such things bein' said about me all round Jonesville, and as far as + Loontown and Shackville. And so, I spoze, she wanted to get hold of my + opinion. + </p> + <p> + Wall, I wuz introduced to her, and I shook hands with her, and kissed her + on both cheeks, for she is a sweet girl and I liked her looks. + </p> + <p> + I could see that she was very, VERY sentimental, but she had a sweet, + confidin', innocent look to her, and I give her a good kissin' and I meant + it. When I like a person, I <i>do</i> like 'em, and visy-versey. + </p> + <p> + But at the same time my likin' for a person mustn't be strong enough to + overthrow my principles. And when she asked me in her sweet axents, “How I + liked her lecture, and if I could see any faults in it?” I leaned up + against Duty, and told her, “I liked it first-rate, but I couldn't agree + with every word of it.” + </p> + <p> + Here Josiah Allen give me a look sharp enough to take my head clear off, + if looks could behead anybody. But they can't. + </p> + <p> + And I kept right on, calm and serene, and sez I, “It wuz very full of + beautiful idees, as full of 'em as a rose-bush is full of sweetness in + June, but,” says I, “if I speak at all I must tell the truth, and I must + say that while your lecture is as sweet and beautiful a effort as I ever + see tackled, full of beautiful thoughts, and eloquence, still I must say + that in my opinion it lacked one thing, it wuzn't mean enough.” + </p> + <p> + “Mean enough?” sez she. “What do you mean?” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” sez I, “I mean, mean temperature, you know, middleinness, + megumness, and whatever you may call it; you go too fur.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="015.jpg (113K)" src="images/015.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + She said with a modest look “that she guessed she didn't, she guessed she + didn't go too far.” + </p> + <p> + And Josiah Allen spoke up, cross as a bear, and, sez he, “I know she + didn't. She didn't say a word that wuzn't gospel truth.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Married life is the happiest life in my opinion; that is, when it + is happy. Some hain't happy, but at the same time the happiest of 'em + hain't <i>all</i> happiness.” + </p> + <p> + “It is,” sez Josiah (cross and surly), “it is, too.” + </p> + <p> + And Serena Fogg said, gently, that she thought I wuz mistaken, “she + thought it wuz.” And Josiah jined right in with her and said: + </p> + <p> + “He <i>knew</i> it wuz, and he would take his oath to it.” + </p> + <p> + But I went right on, and, sez I, “Mebby it is in one sense the most + peaceful; that is, when the affections are firm set and stabled it makes + 'em more peaceful than when they are a-traipsin' round and a-wanderin'. + But,” sez I, “marriage hain't <i>all</i> peace.” + </p> + <p> + Sez Josiah: “It is, and I'll swear to it.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, goin' right on, cool and serene, “The sunshine of true love gilds + the pathway with the brightest radiance we know anything about, but it + hain't all radiance.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, it is,” sez Josiah, firmly, “it is, every mite of it.” + </p> + <p> + And Serena Fogg sez, tenderly and amiably, “Yes, I think Mr. Allen is + right; I think it is.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I, in meanin' axcents, awful meanin', “when you are married + you will change your opinion, you mark my word.” + </p> + <p> + And she said, gently, but persistently, “That she guessed she shouldn't; + she guessed she was in the right of it.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “You think when anybody is married they have got beyend all earthly + trials, and nothin' but perfect peace and rest remains?” + </p> + <p> + And she sez, gently, “Yes, mem!” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” sez I, “I am married, and have been for upwards of twenty years, + and I think I ought to know somethin' about it; and how can it be called a + state of perfect rest, when some days I have to pass through as many + changes as a comet, and each change a tegus one. I have to wabble round + and be a little of everything, and change sudden, too. + </p> + <p> + “I have to be a cook, a step-mother, a housemaid, a church woman, a wet + nurse (lots of times I have to wade out in the damp grass to take care of + wet chickens and goslins). I have to be a tailoress, a dairy-maid, a + literary soarer, a visitor, a fruit-canner, a adviser, a soother, a + dressmaker, a hostess, a milliner, a gardener, a painter, a surgeon, a + doctor, a carpenter, a woman, and more'n forty other things. + </p> + <p> + “Marriage is a first-rate state, and agreeable a good deal of the time; + but it haint a state of perfect peace and rest, and you'll find out it + haint if you are ever married.” + </p> + <p> + But Miss Fogg said, mildly, “that she thought I wuz mistaken—she + thought it wuz.” + </p> + <p> + “You do?” sez I. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, mem,” sez she. + </p> + <p> + I got up, and sez I, “Come, Josiah, I guess we had better be a-goin'.” I + thought it wouldn't do no good to argue any more with her, and Josiah + started off after the mair. He had hitched it on the barn floor. + </p> + <p> + She didn't seem willin' to have me go; she seemed to cling to me. She + seemed to be a good, affectionate little creetur. And she said she would + give anything almost if she could rehearse the hull lecture over to me, + and have me criticise it. Sez she: + </p> + <p> + “I have heard so much about you, and what a happy home you have.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez I, “it is as happy as the average of happy homes, any way.” + </p> + <p> + And sez she, “I have heard that you and your husband wuz just devoted to + each other.” And I told her “that our love for each other wuz like two + rocks that couldn't be moved.” + </p> + <p> + And she said, “On these very accounts she fairly hankered after my advice + and criticism. She said she hadn't never lived in any house where there + wuz a livin' man, her father havin' died several months before she was + born; and she hadn't had the experience that I had, and she presumed that + I could give her several little idees that she hadn't thought on.” + </p> + <p> + And I told her calmly “that I presumed I could.” + </p> + <p> + It seemed that her father died two months after marriage, right in the + midst of the mellow light of the honeymoon, before he had had time to drop + the exstatic sweetness of courtship and newly-married bliss and come down + into the ordinary, everyday, good and bad demeanors of men. + </p> + <p> + And she had always lived with her mother (who naturally worshipped and + mentally knelt before the memory of her lost husband) and three + sentimental maiden aunts. And they had drawed all their knowledge of + manhood from Moore's poems and Solomon's Songs. So Serena Fogg's idees of + men and married life wuz about as thin and as well suited to stand the + wear and tear of actual experience as a gauze dress would be to face a + Greenland winter in. + </p> + <p> + And so, after considerable urgin' on her part (for I kinder hung back and + hated to tackle the job, but not knowin' but that it wuz duty's call), I + finally consented, and it wuz arranged this way: + </p> + <p> + She wuz to come down to our house some day, early in the mornin', and stay + all day, and she wuz to stand up in front of me and rehearse the lecture + over to me, and I wuz to set and hear it, and when she came to a place + where I didn't agree with her I wuz to lift up my right hand and she wuz + to stop rehearsin', and we wuz to argue with each other back and forth and + try to convince each other. + </p> + <p> + And when we got it all arranged Josiah and I set out for home, I calm in + my frame, though dreadin' the job some. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c3" id="c3"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="016c3.jpg (99K)" src="images/016c3.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER III. + </p> + <p> + But Josiah Allen wuz jest crazy over that lecture—crazy as a loon. + He raved about it all the way home, and he would repeat over lots of it to + me. About “how a man's love was the firm anchor that held a woman's + happiness stiddy; how his calm and peaceful influence held her mind in a + serene calm—a waveless repose; how tender men wuz of the fair sect, + how they watched over 'em and held 'em in their hearts.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh,” sez he, “it went beyond anything I ever heard of. I always knew that + men wuz good and pious, but I never realized how dumb pious they wuz till + to-night.” + </p> + <p> + “She said,” sez I, in considerable dry axents—not so dry as I keep + by me, but pretty dry—“No true man would let a woman perform any + manuel labor.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall, he won't. There ain't no need of your liftin' your little finger in + emanuel labor.” + </p> + <p> + “Manuel, Josiah.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall, I said so, didn't I? Hain't I always holdin' you back from work?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez I. “You often speak of it, Josiah. You are as good,” sez I, + firmly, “full as good as the common run of men, and I think a little + better. But there are things that have to be done. A married woman that + has a house and family to see to and don't keep a hired girl, can't get + along without some work and care.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall I say,” sez he, “that there hain't no need of you havin' a care, not + a single care. Not as long as I live—if it wuzn't for me, you might + have some cares, and most probable would, but not while I live.” + </p> + <p> + I didn't say nothin' back, for I don't want to hurt his feelin's, and + won't, not if I can help it. And he broke out again anon, or nearly anon— + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="017.jpg (111K)" src="images/017.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Oh, what a lecture that wuz. Did you notice when she wuz goin' on + perfectly beautiful, about the waveless sea of married life—did you + notice how it took the school house down? And I wuz perfectly mortified to + see you didn't weep or even clap your hands.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I, firmly, “when I weep or when I clap, I weep and clap on the + side of truth. And I can't see things as she duz. I have been a-sailin' on + that sea she depictured for over twenty years, and have never wanted to + leave it for any other waters. But, as I told her, and tell you now, it + hain't always a smooth sea, it has its ups and downs, jest like any other + human states.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, soarin' up a very little ways, not fur, for it wuz too cold, and I + was too tired, “There hain't but one sea, Josiah Allen, that is calm + forever, and one day we will float upon it, you and me. It is the sea by + which angels walk and look down into its crystal depths, and behold their + blessed faces. It is the sea on whose banks the fadeless lilies blow—and + that mirrors the soft, cloudless sky of the Happy Morning. It is the sea + of Eternal Repose, that rude blasts can never blow up into billows. But + our sea—the sea of married life—is not like that, it is + ofttimes billowy and rough.” + </p> + <p> + “I say it hain't,” sez he, for he was jest carried away with the lecture, + and enthused. + </p> + <p> + “We have had a happy time together, Josiah Allen, for over twenty years, + but has our sea of life always been perfectly smooth?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, it has; smooth as glass.” + </p> + <p> + “Hain't there never been a cloud in our sky?” + </p> + <p> + “No, there hain't; not a dumb cloud.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, sternly, “There has in mine. Your wicked and profane swearin' has + cast many and many a cloud over my sky, and I'd try to curb in my tongue + if I was in your place.” + </p> + <p> + “'Dumb' hain't swearin',” sez he. And then he didn't say nothin' more till + anon, or nearly at that time, he broke out agin, and sez he: + </p> + <p> + “Never, never did I hear or see such eloquence till to-night I'll have + that girl down to our house to stay a week, if I'm a living Josiah Allen.” + </p> + <p> + “All right,” sez I, cheerfully. “I'd love to have her stay a week or ten + days, and I'll invite her, too, when she comes down to rehearse her + lecture.” + </p> + <p> + Wall we got home middlin' tired, and the subject kinder dropped down, and + Josiah had lots of work come on the next day, and so did I, and company. + And it run along for over a week before she come. And when she did come, + it wuz in a dreadful bad time. It seems as if she couldn't have come in a + much worse time. + </p> + <p> + It wuz early one mornin', not more than nine o'clock, if it wuz that. + There had come on a cold snap of weather unexpected, and Josiah wuz + a-bringin' in the cook stove from the summer kitchen, when she come. + </p> + <p> + Josiah Allen is a good man. He is my choice out of a world full of men, + but I can't conceal it from myself that his words at such a time are + always voyalent, and his demeanor is not the demeanor that I would wish to + have showed off to the public. + </p> + <p> + He wuz at the worst place, too. He had got the stove wedged into the + entry-way door, and couldn't get it either way. He had acted awkward with + it, and I told him so, and he see it when it wuz too late. + </p> + <p> + He had got it fixed in such a way that he couldn't get into the kitchen + himself without gettin' over the stove, and I, in the course of duty, + thought it wuz right to tell him that if he had heerd to me he wouldn't + have been in such a fix. Oh! the voyalence and frenzy of his demeanor as + he stood there a-hollerin'. I wuz out in the wood-house shed a-bilin' my + cider apple sass in the big cauldron kettle, but I heard the racket, and + as I come a-runnin' in I thought I heard a little rappin' at the + settin'-room door, but I didn't notice it much, I wuz that agitated to see + the way the stove and Josiah wuz set and wedged in. + </p> + <p> + There the stove wuz, wedged firm into the doorway, perfectly sot there. + There wuz sut all over the floor, and there stood Josiah Allen, on the + wood-house side, with his coat off, his shirt all covered with black, and + streaks of black all over his face. And oh! how wild and almost frenzied + his attitude wuz as he stood there as if he couldn't move nor be moved no + more than the stove could. And oh! the voyalence of the language he hurled + at me acrost that stove. + </p> + <p> + “Why,” sez I, “you must come in here, Josiah Allen, and pull it from this + side.” + </p> + <p> + And then he hollered at me, and asked me: + </p> + <p> + “How in thunder he was a goin' to <i>get</i> in.” And then he wanted to + know “if I wanted him squshed into jelly by comin' in by the side of it—or + if I thought he wuz a crane, that he could step over it or a stream of + water that he could run under it, or what else do you think?” He hollered + wildly. + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I, “you hadn't ort to got it fixed in that shape. I told you + what end to move first,” sez I. “You have moved it in side-ways. It would + go in all right if you had started it the other way.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, yes! It would have been all right. You love to see me, Samantha, with + a stove in my arms. You love it dearly. I believe you would be perfectly + happy if you could see me a luggin' round stoves every day. But I'll tell + you one thing, if this dumb stove is ever moved either way out of this + door—if I ever get it into a room agin, it never shall be stirred + agin so much as a hair's breadth—not while I have got the breath of + life in me.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Hush! I hear somebody a-knockin' at the door.” + </p> + <p> + “I won't hush. It is nothin' but dumb foolishness a movin' round stoves, + and if anybody don't believe it let 'em look at me—and let 'em look + at that stove set right here in the door as firm as a rock.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="018.jpg (116K)" src="images/018.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Sez I agin in a whisper, “Do be still, and I'll let 'em in, I don't want + them to ketch you a talkin' so and a-actin'.” “Wall, I want 'em to ketch + me, that is jest what I want 'em to do. If it is a man he'll say every + word I say is Gospel truth, and if it is a woman it will make her + perfectly happy to see me a-swelterin' in the job—seven times a year + do I have to move this stove back and forth—and I say it is high + time I said a word. So you can let 'em in just as quick as you are a mind + to.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, a whisperin' and puttin' my finger on my lip: + </p> + <p> + “Won't you be still?” + </p> + <p> + “No, I won't be still!” he yelled out louder than ever. “And you may go + through all the motions you want to and you can't stop me. All you have + got to do is to walk round and let folks in, happy as a king. Nothin' + under the heavens ever made a woman so happy as to have some man + a-breakin' his back a-luggin' round a stove.” + </p> + <p> + I see he wouldn't stop, so I had to go and open the door, and there stood + Serena Fogg, there stood the author of “Wedlock's Peaceful Repose.” I felt + like a fool. For I knew she had heard every word, I see she had by her + looks. She looked skairt, and as surprised and sort o' awe-stricken as if + she had seen a ghost. I took her into the parlor, and took her things, and + I excused myself by tellin' her that I should have to be out in the + kitchen a-tendin' to things for a spell, and went back to Josiah. + </p> + <p> + And I whispered to him, sez I: “Miss Fogg has come, and she has heard + every word you have said, Josiah Allen. And what will she think now about + Wedlock's Peaceful Repose?” + </p> + <p> + But he had got that wild and reckless in his demeanor and acts, that he + went right on with his hollerin', and, sez he, “She won't find much repose + here to-day, and I'll tell her that. This house has got to be all tore to + pieces to get that stove started.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “There won't be nothin' to do only to take off one side of the door + casin'. And I believe it can be done without that.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, you believe! you believe! You'd better take holt and lug and lift for + two hours as I have, and then see.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “You hain't been here more'n ten minutes, if you have that. And + there,” sez I, liftin' up one end a little, “see what anybody can do who + is calm. There I have stirred it, and now you can move it right along.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, <i>you</i> did it! I moved it myself.” + </p> + <p> + I didn't contend, knowin' it wuz men's natural nater to say that. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="019.jpg (53K)" src="images/019.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Wall, at last Josiah got the stove in, but then the stove-pipe wouldn't go + together, it wouldn't seem to fit. He had marked the joints with chalk, + and the marks had rubbed off, and he said I had “rubbed 'em out.” I wuz + just as innocent as a babe, but I didn't dispute him much, for I see a + little crack open in the parlor door, and I knew the author of “Wedlock's + Peaceful Repose” was a-listenin'. + </p> + <p> + But when he told me for the third time that I rubbed 'em out on purpose to + make him trouble, and that I had made a practice of rubbin' 'em out for + years and years—why, then I <i>had</i> to correct him on the + subject, and we had a little dialogue. + </p> + <p> + I spoze Serena Fogg heard it. But human nater can't bear only just so + much, especially when it has stoves a dirtien up the floor, and apple sass + on its mind, and unexpected company, and no cookin' and a threshin' + machine a-comin'. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="c4" id="c4"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="020c4.jpg (96K)" src="images/020c4.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER IV. + </p> + <p> + Never knew a word about the threshin' machine a-comin' till about half an + hour before. Josiah Allen wuzn't to blame. It come just as onexpected onto + him as it did onto me. + </p> + <p> + Solomon Gowdey wuz a-goin' to have 'em first, which would have left me + ample time to cook up for 'em. But he wuz took down bed sick, so they had + to come right onto us with no warnin' previous and beforehand. + </p> + <p> + They wuz a drivin' up just as Josiah got the stove-pipe up. They had to go + right by the side of the house, right by the parlor winders, to get to the + side of the barn where they wanted to thresh; and just as they wuz a-goin' + by one of the horses got down, and of all the yellin' I ever heard that + was the cap sheaf. + </p> + <p> + Steve Yerden is rough on his horses, dretful rough. He yells at 'em enough + to raise the ruff. His threshin' machine is one of the kind where the + horses walk up and look over the top. It is kinder skairful any way, and + it made it as bad agin when you expected to see the horse fall out every + minute. + </p> + <p> + Wall, that very horse fell out of the machine three times that day. It wuz + a sick horse, I believe, and hadn't ort to have been worked. But three + times it fell, and each time the yellin' wuz such that it skairt the + author of “Peaceful Repose,” and me, almost to death. + </p> + <p> + The machine wuz in plain sight of the house, and every time we see the + horse's head come a mountin' up on top of the machine, we expected that + over it would go. But though it didn't fall out only three times, as I + said, it kep' us all nerved up and uneasy the hull of the time expectin' + it. And Steve Yerden kep' a-yellin' at his horses all the time; there + wuzn't no comfort to be took within a mile of him. + </p> + <p> + I wuz awful sorry it happened so, on her account. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="021.jpg (161K)" src="images/021.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Wall, I had to get dinner for nine men, and cook if all from the very + beginnin'. If you'll believe it, I had to begin back to bread. I hadn't + any bread in the house, but I had it a-risin', and I got two loaves out by + dinner time. But I had to stir round lively, I can tell you, to make pies + and cookies and fried cakes, and cook meat, and vegetables of all kinds. + </p> + <p> + The author of “Wedlock's Peaceful Repose” came out into the kitchen. I + told her she might, if she wanted to, for I see I wuzn't goin' to have a + minute's time to go into the parlor and visit with her. + </p> + <p> + She looked pretty sober and thoughtful, and I didn't know as she liked it, + to think I couldn't do as I promised to do, accordin' to agreement, to + hear her lecture, and lift my hand up when I differed from her. + </p> + <p> + But, good land! I couldn't help it. I couldn't get a minute's time to lift + my hand up. I could have heard the lecture, but I couldn't spare my hands. + </p> + <p> + And then Josiah would come a-rushin' in after one thing and another, + actin' as was natural, accordin' to the nater of man, more like a wild man + than a Christian Methodist. For he was so wrought up and excited by havin' + so much on his hands to do, and the onexpectedness of it, that he couldn't + help actin' jest as he did act. I don't believe he could. And then Steve + Yerden is enough to distract a leather-man, any way. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="022.jpg (59K)" src="images/022.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Twice I had to drop everything and find cloths to do up the horse's legs, + where it had grazed 'em a-fallin' out of the machine. And once I took my + hands out of the pie-crust to find a piece of old rope to tie up the + harness. It seemed as if I left off every five minutes to wait on Josiah + Allen, to find somethin' that he wanted and couldn't find, or else to do + somethin' for him that he couldn't do. + </p> + <p> + Truly, it was a wild and harrowin' time, and tegus. But I kept a firm holt + of my principles, and didn't groan—not when anybody could hear me. I + won't deny that I did, out in the buttery by myself, give vent to a groan + or two, and a few sithes. But immegiately, or a very little after, I was + calm again. + </p> + <p> + Wall, worse things wuz a-comin' onto me, though I didn't know it. I owed a + tin peddler; had been owin' him for four weeks. I owed him twenty-five + pounds of paper rags, for a new strainer. I had been expectin' him for + over three weeks every day. But in all the three hundred and sixty-five + days of the year, there wuzn't another day that would satisfy him; he had + got to come on jest that day, jest as I wuz fryin' my nut cakes for + dinner. + </p> + <p> + I tried to put him off till another day. But no! He said it wuz his last + trip, and he must have his rags. And so I had to put by my work, and lug + down my rag-bag. His steel-yards wuz broke, so he had to weigh 'em in the + house. It wuz a tegus job, for he wuz one of the perticuler kind, and had + to look 'em all over before he weighed 'em, and pick out every little + piece of brown paper, or full cloth—everything, he said, that + wouldn't make up into the nicest kind of writin' paper. + </p> + <p> + And my steel-yards wuz out of gear any way, so they wouldn't weigh but + five pounds at a time, and he wuz dretful perticuler to have 'em just + right by the notch. + </p> + <p> + And he would call on me to come and see just how the steel-yards stood + every time. (He wuz as honest as the day; I hain't a doubt of it.) + </p> + <p> + But it wuz tegus, fearful tegus, and excitin'. Excitin', but not + exhileratin', to have the floor all covered with rags of different shapes + and sizes, no two of a kind. It wuz a curius time before he come, and a + wild time, but what must have been the wildness, and the curosity when + there wuz, to put a small estimate on it, nearly a billion of crazy + lookin' rags scattered round on the floor. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="023.jpg (121K)" src="images/023.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + But I kep' calm; I have got giant self-control, and I used every mite of + it, every atom of control I had by me, and kep' calm. I see I must—for + I see that Miss Fogg looked bad; yes, I see that the author of “Wedlock's + Peaceful Repose” wuz pretty much used up. She looked curius, curiuser than + the floor looked, and that is goin' to the complete end of curosity, and + metafor. + </p> + <p> + Wall, I tussled along and got dinner ready. The tin peddler had to stay to + dinner, of course. I couldn't turn him out jest at dinner time. And + sometimes I almost think that he delayed matters and touzled 'round + amongst them rags jest a purpose to belate himself, so he would have to + stay to dinner. + </p> + <p> + I am called a good cook. It is known 'way out beyend Loontown and Zoar—it + is talked about, I spoze. Wall, he stayed to dinner. But he only made + fourteen; there wuz only thirteen besides him, so I got along. And I had a + good dinner and enough of it. + </p> + <p> + I had to wait on the table, of course—that is, the tea and coffee. + And I felt that a cup of good, strong tea would be a paneky. I wuz that + wore out and flustrated that I felt that I needed a paneky to soothe. + </p> + <p> + And I got the rest all waited on and wuz jest a liftin' my cup to my lips, + the cup that cheers everybody but don't inebriate 'em—good, strong + Japan tea with cream in it. Oh, how good it smelt. But I hadn't fairly got + it to my mouth when I wuz called off sudden, before I had drinked a drop, + for the case demanded help at once. + </p> + <p> + Miss Peedick had unexpected company come in, jest as they wuz a-settin' + down to the dinner-table, and she hadn't hardly anything for dinner, and + the company wuz very genteel—a minister and a Justice of the Peace—so + she wanted to borrow a loaf of bread and a pie. + </p> + <p> + She is a good neighbor and is one that will put herself out for a + neighborin' female, and I went into the buttery, almost on the run, to get + 'em for her, for her girl said she wanted to get 'em into the house and + onto the table before Mr. Peedick come in with 'em from the horse barn, + for they knew that Mr. Peedick would lead 'em out to dinner the very + second they got into the house, and Miss Peedick didn't want her husband + to know that she had borrowed vittles, for he would be sure to let the cat + out of the bag, right at the table, by speakin' about 'em and comparin' + 'em with hern. + </p> + <p> + I see the necessity for urgent haste, and the trouble wuz that I hurried + too much. In takin' down a pie in my awful hurry, I tipped over a pan of + milk right onto my dress. It wuz up high and I wuz right under the shelf, + so that about three tea-cupsful went down into my neck. But the most went + onto my dress, about five quarts, I should judge besides that that wuz + tricklin' down my backbone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="024.jpg (71K)" src="images/024.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Wall, I started Serintha Ann Peedick off with her ma's pie and bread, and + then wiped up the floor as well as I could, and then I had to go and + change my clothes. I had to change 'em clear through to my wrapper, for I + wuz wet as sop—as wet as if I had been takin' a milk swim. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c5" id="c5"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="024c5.jpg (94K)" src="images/024c5.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER V. + </p> + <p> + Wall, the author of “Wedlock's Peaceful Repose” wuz a-waitin' for me to + the table; the men had all got through and gone out. She sot right by me, + and she had missed me, I could see. Her eyes looked bigger than ever, and + more sad like. + </p> + <p> + She said, “she was dretful sorry for me,” and I believed her. + </p> + <p> + She asked me in a awe-stricken tone, “if I had such trials every day?” + </p> + <p> + And I told her “No, I didn't.” I told her that things would run along + smooth and agreeable for days and days, but that when things got to + happenin', they would happen right along for weeks at a time, sometimes, + dretful curius. A hull batch of difficulties would rain down on anybody to + once. Sez I, “You know Mr. Shakespeare says that' Sorrows never come + a-spyin' along as single fighters, but they come in hull battles of 'em,' + or words to that effect.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, in reasonable axents, “Mebby I shall have a hull lot of good things + happen to me right along, one after another, some dretful agreeable days, + and easy.” + </p> + <p> + Sez she in the same sad axents, and wonderin', “Did you ever have another + day in your hull life as hard as this you are a-passin' through?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, yes,” sez I, “lots of'em—some worse ones, and,” sez I, “the day + has only jest begun yet, I presume I shall have lots and lots of new + things happen to me before night. Because it is jest as I tell you, when + things get to happenin' there hain't no tellin' when they will ever stop.” + </p> + <p> + Miss Fogg groaned, a low, deep groan, and that is every word she said, + only after a little while she spoke up, and sez: + </p> + <p> + “You hain't eaten a bit of dinner; it all got cold while you wuz a + changin' your dress.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, wall,” sez I, “I can get along some way. And I must hurry up and get + the table cleared off any way, and get to my work agin', for I have got to + do a lot of cookin' this afternoon. It takes a sight of pies and cakes and + such to satisfy twelve or a dozen men.” + </p> + <p> + So I went to work vigorously agin. But well might I tell Miss Fogg “that + the day had only jest begun, and there wuz time for lots of things to + happen before night,” for I had only jest got well to work on the + ingregiences of my pies when Submit Tewksbury sent over “to see if I could + let her have them sturchien seeds I had promised her—she wanted 'em + to run up the inside of her bedroom winder, and shade her through the + winter. She wuz jest a-settin' out her winter stock of flower roots and + seeds, and wanted 'em immegiatly, and to once, that is, if it was + perfectly convenient,” so the boy said. + </p> + <p> + Submit is a good creeter, and she wouldn't have put that burden on me on + such a time for nothin', not if she had known my tribulations; but she + didn't, and I felt that one trial more wouldn't, as the poet hath well + said, “either make or break me.” + </p> + <p> + So I went to huntin' for the seeds. Wall, it wuz a good half-hour before I + could find 'em, for of course it wuz natural nater, accordin' to the total + deprivity of things, that I should find 'em in the bottom of the last bag + of seeds that I overhauled. + </p> + <p> + But Submit had been disappointed, and I didn't want to make her burdens + any heavier, so I sent her the sturchien seeds. + </p> + <p> + But it wuz a trial I do admit to look over more than forty bags of garden + and flower seeds in such a time as that. But I sent 'em. I sent Submit the + sturchien seeds, and then I laid to work again fast as I possibly could. + </p> + <p> + But I sez to the author of “Peaceful Repose,” I sez to her, sez I: + </p> + <p> + “I feel bad to think I hain't gettin' no time to hear you rehearse your + lecture, but you can see jest how it is; you see I hain't had a minute's + time today. Mebby I will get a few minutes' time before night; I will try + to,” sez I. + </p> + <p> + “Oh,” sez she, “it hain't no matter about that; I—I—I somehow—I + don't feel like rehearsin' it as it was.” Sez she, “I guess I shall make + some changes in it before I rehearse it agin.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “You lay out to make a more mean thing of it, more megum.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez she, in faint axents, “I am a-thinkin' of it.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="026.jpg (54K)" src="images/026.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I cheerfully, as I started for the buttery with a pile of cups + in one hand, the castor and pickle dish in the other, and a pile of + napkins under my arm, “I believe I shall like it as well again if you do, + any way,” sez I, as I kicked away the cat that wuz a-clawin' my dress, and + opened the door with my foot, both hands bein' full. + </p> + <p> + “Any way, there will be as much agin truth in it.” + </p> + <p> + Wall, I went to work voyalently, and in two hours' time I had got my work + quelled down some. But I had to strain nearly every nerve in the effort. + </p> + <p> + And I am afraid I didn't use the colporter just exactly right, who come + when I wuz right in the midst of puttin' the ingregiences into my tea + cakes. I didn't enter so deep into the argument about the Revised New + Testament as I should in easier and calmer times. I conversed + considerable, I argued some with him, but I didn't get so engaged as mebby + I had ort to. He acted disappointed, and he didn't stay and talk more'n an + hour and three quarters. + </p> + <p> + He generally spends half a day with us. He is a master hand to talk; he'll + make your brain fairly spin round he talks so fast and handles such large, + curius words. He talked every minute, only when I wuz a-answerin' his + questions. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="027.jpg (124K)" src="images/027.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Wall, he had jest gone, the front gate had just clicked onto him, when + Miss Philander Dagget came in at the back door. She had her press-board in + her hand, and a coat over her arm, and I see in a minute that I had got + another trial onto me. I see I had got to set her right. + </p> + <p> + I set her a chair, and she took off her sun-bonnet and hung it over the + back of her chair, and set down, and then she asked me if I could spend + time to put in the sleeves of her husband's coat. She said “there wuz + somethin' wrong about em', but she didn't know what.” + </p> + <p> + She said “she wouldn't have bothered me that day when I had so much round, + but Philander had got to go to a funeral the next day, as one of the + barriers, and he must have his coat.” + </p> + <p> + Wall, I wrung my hands out of the dish-water they was in at the time, and + took the coat and looked at it, and the minute I set my eyes on it I see + what ailed it I see she had got the sleeves sot in so the elbows come + right in front of his arms, and if he had wore it in that condition to the + funeral or anywhere else he would have had to fold up his arms right + acrost his back; there wuzn't no other possible way. + </p> + <p> + And then I turned tailoress and helped her out of her trouble. I sot the + sleeves in proper, and fixed the collar. She had got it sot on as a + ruffle. I drawed it down smooth where it ort to be and pinned it—and + she went home feelin' first rate. + </p> + <p> + I am very neighborly, and helpful, and am called so. Jonesville would miss + me if any thing should happen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="028.jpg (30K)" src="images/028.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + I have often helped that woman a sight. She is a good, willin' creeter, + but she is apt to get things wrong, dretful apt. She made her little boy's + pantaloons once wrong side before, so it would seem that he would have to + set down from the front side, or else stand up. + </p> + <p> + And twice she got her husband's pantaloons sewed up so there wuz no way to + get into em' only to crawl up into 'em through the bottom of the legs. But + I have always made a practice of rippin' and tearin' and bastin', and + settin' her right, and I did now. + </p> + <p> + Wall, she hadn't hardly got out of the back door, when Josiah Allen came + in in awful distress, he had got a thorn in his foot, he had put on an old + pair of boots, and there wuz a hole in the side of one of 'em, and the + thorn had got in through the hole. It pained him dretfully, and he wuz + jest as crazy as a loon for the time bein'. And he hollered the first + thing that “he wanted some of Hall's salve.” And I told him “there wuzn't + a mite in the house.” + </p> + <p> + And he hollered up and says, “There would be some if there wuz any sense + in the head of the house.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="029.jpg (120K)" src="images/029.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + I glanced up mechanically at his bald head, but didn't say nothin', for I + see it wouldn't do. And he hollered out agin, “Why hain't there any Hall's + salve?” Sez I, “Because old Hall has been dead for years and years, and + hain't made any salve.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall, he wouldn't have been dead if he had had any care took of him,” he + yelled out. + </p> + <p> + “Why,” sez I, “he wuz killed by lightnin'; struck down entirely onexpected + five years ago last summer.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, argue and dispute with a dying man. Gracious Peter! what will become + of me!” he groaned out, a-holdin' his foot in his hand. + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Let me put some Pond's Extract on it, Josiah.” + </p> + <p> + “Pond's Extract!” he yelled, and then he called that good remedy words I + wuz ashamed to hear him utter. + </p> + <p> + And he jumped round and pranced and kicked just as it is the nater of man + to act under bodily injury of that sort. And then he ordered me to take a + pin and get the thorn out, and then acted mad as a hen at me all the time + I wuz a-doin' it; acted jest as if I wuz a-prickin' him a-purpose. + </p> + <p> + He talked voyalent and mad. I tried to hush him down; I told him the + author of “Wedlock's Peaceful Repose” would hear him, and he hollered back + “he didn't care a cent who heard him. He wuz killed, and he shouldn't live + to trouble anybody long if that pain kept up.” + </p> + <p> + His acts and words wuz exceedingly skairful to anybody who didn't + understand the nater of a man. But I wuzn't moved by 'em so much as the + width of a horse hair. Good land! I knew that jest as soon as the pain + subsided he would be good as gold, so I kep' on, cool and collected, and + got the thorn out, and did up the suffering toe in Pond's Extract, and I + hadn't only jest got it done, when, for all the world! if I didn't see a + double team stop in front of the house, and I peeked through the winder + and see as it wuz the livery stable man from Jonesville, and he had brung + down the last straws to be lifted onto the camel's back—a hull lot + of onexpected company. A hull load of 'em. + </p> + <p> + There wuz the Baptist minister and his wife and their three children, and + the minister's wife's sister-in-law from the West, who wuz there + a-visitin', and the editor of the <i>Augur'ses</i> wife (she wuz related + to the visitor from the West by marriage) and three of the twins. And old + Miss Minkley, she wuz acquainted with the visitor's mother, used to go to + school with her. And Drusilly Sypher, she wuz the visitor from the West's + bosom friend, or used to be. + </p> + <p> + Wall, they had all come down to spend the afternoon and visit with each + other, and with me and Josiah, and stay to supper. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c6" id="c6"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="030c6.jpg (107K)" src="images/030c6.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER VI. + </p> + <p> + The author of “Peaceful Repose” sez to me, and she looked pale and skairt; + she had heard every word Josiah had said, and she wuz dretful skairt and + shocked (not knowin' the ways of men, and not understandin', as I said + prior and before, that in two hours' time he would be jest as good as the + very best kind of pie, affectionate, and even spoony, if I would allow + spoons, which I will not the most of the time). Wall, she proposed, Miss + Fogg did, that she should ride back with the livery man. And though I + urged her to stay till night, I couldn't urge her as hard as I would + otherwise, for by that time the head of the procession of visitors had + reached the door-step, and I had to meet 'em with smiles. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="031.jpg (145K)" src="images/031.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + I smiled some, I thought I must. But they wuz curius smiles, very, + strange-lookin' smiles, sort o' gloomy ones, and mournful lookin'. I have + got lots of different smiles that I keep by me for different occasions, + every woman has, and this wuz one of my most mournfulest and curiusest + ones. + </p> + <p> + Wall, the author of “Wedlock's Peaceful and Perfect Repose” insisted on + goin', and she went. And I sez to her as she went down the steps, “That if + she would come up some other day when I didn't have quite so much work + round, I would be as good as my word to her about hearin' her rehearse the + lecture.” + </p> + <p> + But she said, as she hurried out to the gate, lookin' pale an' wan (as wan + agin as she did when she came, if not wanner): “That she should make <i>changes</i> + in it before she ever rehearsed it agin—<i>deep changes</i>!” + </p> + <p> + And I should dare to persume to say that she did. Though, as I say, she + went off most awful sudden, and I hadn't seen nor heard from her sence + till I got this letter. + </p> + <p> + Wall, jest as I got through with the authoresses letter, and Lodema + Trumble's, Josiah Allen came. And I hurried up the supper. I got it all on + the table while I wuz a steepin' my tea (it wuz good tea). And we sot down + to the table happy as a king and his queen. I don't s'pose queens make a + practice of steepin' tea, but mebby they would be better off if they did—and + have better appetites and better tea. Any way we felt well, and the supper + tasted good. And though Josiah squirmed some when I told him Lodema wuz + approachin' and would be there that very night or the next day—still + the cloud wore away and melted off in the glowin' mellowness of the hot + tea and cream, the delicious oysters and other good things. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="032.jpg (49K)" src="images/032.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + My pardner, though, as he often says, is not a epicack, still he duz enjoy + good vittles dretful well and appreciates 'em. And I make a stiddy + practice of doin' the best I can by him in this direction. + </p> + <p> + And if more females would foller on and cipher out this simple rule, and + get the correct answer to it, the cramp in the right hands of divorce + lawyers would almost entirely disappear. + </p> + <p> + For truly it seems that <i>no</i> human man <i>could be</i> more + worrysome, and curius, and hard to get along with than Josiah Allen is at + times; still, by stiddy keepin' of my table set out with good vittles from + day to day, and year to year, the golden cord of affection has bound him + to me by ties that can't never be broken into. + </p> + <p> + He worships me! And the better vittles I get, the more he thinks on me. + For love, however true and deep it is, is still a tumultous sea; it has + its high tides, and its low ones, its whirlpools, and its calms. + </p> + <p> + He loves me a good deal better some days than he does others; I see it in + his mean. And mark you! mark it well, female reader, these days are the + ones that I cook up sights and sights of good food, and with a cheerful + countenance and clean apron, set it before him in a bright room, on a + snowy table-cloth! + </p> + <p> + Great—great is the mystery of men's love. + </p> + <p> + I have often and often repeated this simple fact and truth that underlies + married life, and believe me, dear married sisters, too much cannot be + said about it, by those whose hearts beat for the good of female and male + humanity—and it <i>cannot</i> be too closely followed up and + practised by female pardners. + </p> + <p> + But I am a-eppisodin'; and to resoom. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Lodema Trumble arrove the next mornin' bright and early—I mean + the mornin' wuz bright, not Lodema—oh no, fur from it; Lodema is + never bright and cheerful—she is the opposite and reverse always. + </p> + <p> + She is a old maiden. I do think it sounds so much more respectful to call + 'em so rather than “old maid” (but I had to tutor Josiah dretful sharp + before I could get him into it). + </p> + <p> + I guess Lodema is one of the regular sort. There is different kinds of old + maidens, some that could marry if they would, and some that would but + couldn't. And I ruther mistrust she is one of the “would-but-couldn't's,” + though I wouldn't dast to let her know I said so, not for the world. + </p> + <p> + Josiah never could bear the sight of her, and he sort o' blamed her for + bein' a old maiden. But I put a stop to that sudden, for sez I: + </p> + <p> + “She hain't to blame, Josiah.” + </p> + <p> + And she wuzn't. I hain't a doubt of it. + </p> + <p> + Wall, how long she calculated to stay this time we didn't know. But we had + our fears and forebodin's about it; for she wuz in the habit of makin' + awful long visits. Why, sometimes she would descend right down onto us + sudden and onexpected, and stay fourteen weeks right along—jest like + a famine or a pestilence, or any other simely that you are a mind to bring + up that is tuckerin' and stiddy. + </p> + <p> + And she wuz disagreeable, I'll confess, and she wuz tuckerin', but I done + well by her, and stood between her and Josiah all I could. He loved to put + on her, and she loved to impose on him. I don't stand up for either on + 'em, but they wuz at regular swords' pints all the time a'most. And it + come fearful tuff on me, fearful tuff, for I had to stand the brunt on it. + </p> + <p> + But she is a disagreeable creeter, and no mistake. She is one of them that + can't find one solitary thing or one solitary person in this wide world to + suit 'em. If the weather is cold she is pinin' for hot weather, and if the + weather is hot she is pantin' for zero. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="033.jpg (44K)" src="images/033.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + If it is a pleasant day the sun hurts her eyes, and if it is cloudy she + groans aloud and says “she can't see.” + </p> + <p> + And no human bein' wuz ever known to suit her. She gets up early in the + mornin' and puts on her specs, and goes out (as it were) a-huntin' up + faults in folks. And she finds 'em, finds lots of 'em. And then she spends + the rest of the day a-drivin' 'em ahead of her, and groanin' at 'em. + </p> + <p> + You know this world bein' such a big place and so many different sort o' + things in it that you can generally find in it the perticuler sort of game + you set out to hunt in the mornin'. + </p> + <p> + If you set out to hunt beauty and goodness, if you take good aim and are + perseverin'—if you jest track 'em and foller 'em stiddy from mornin' + till night, and don't get led away a-follerin' up some other game, such as + meanness and selfishness and other such worthless head o' cattle—why, + at night you will come in with a sight of good game. You will be a noble + and happy hunter. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="034.jpg (112K)" src="images/034.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + At the same time, if you hunt all day for faults you will come in at night + with sights of pelts. You will find what you hunt for, track 'em right + along and chase 'em down. Wall, Lodema never got led away from her + perticuler chase. She just hunted faults from mornin' till night, and done + well at it. She brought in sights of skins. + </p> + <p> + But oh! wuzn't it disagreeable in the extreme to Samantha, who had always + tried to bend her bow and bring down Beauty, to have her familiar huntin' + grounds turned into so different a warpath. It wuz disagreeable! It wuz! + It wuz! + </p> + <p> + And then, havin' to stand between her and Josiah too, wuz fearful wearin' + on me. I had always stood there in the past, and now in this visit it wuz + jest the same; all the hull time, till about the middle of the fifth week, + I had to stand between their two tongues—they didn't fight with + their hands, but fit with their tongues, fearful. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="c7" id="c7"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="035c7.jpg (100K)" src="images/035c7.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER VII. + </p> + <p> + But along about the middle of the fifth week I see a change. Lodema had + been uncommon exasperatin', and I expected she would set Josiah to goin', + and I groaned in spirit, to think what a job wuz ahead of me, to part + their two tongues—when all of a sudden I see a curius change come + over my pardner's face. + </p> + <p> + I remember jest the date that the change in his mean wuz visible, and made + known to me—for it wuz the very mornin' that we got the invitation + to old Mr. and Miss Pressley's silver weddin'. And that wuz the fifteenth + day of the month along about the middle of the forenoon. + </p> + <p> + And it wuz not half an hour after Elnathen Pressley came to the door and + give us the invitations, that I see the change in his mean. + </p> + <p> + And when I asked him about it afterwards, what that strange and curius + look meant, he never hung back a mite from tellin' me, but sez right out + plain: + </p> + <p> + “Mebby, Samantha, I hain't done exactly as I ort to by cousin Lodema, and + I have made up my mind to make her a happy surprise before she goes away.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I, “so do.” + </p> + <p> + I thought he wuz goin' to get her a new dress. She had been a-hintin' to + him dretful strong to that effect. She wanted a parmetty, or a balzereen, + or a circassien, which wuz in voge in her young days. But I wuz in hopes + he would get her a cashmere, and told him so, plain. + </p> + <p> + But I couldn't get him to tell what the surprise wuz. He only sez, sez he: + </p> + <p> + “I am goin' to make her a happy surprise.” + </p> + <p> + And the thought that he wuz a-goin' to branch out and make a change, wuz + considerable of a comfort to me. And I needed comfort—yes, indeed I + did—I needed it bad. For not one single thing did I do for her that + I done right, though I tried my best to do well by her. + </p> + <p> + But she found fault with my vittles from mornin' till night, though I am + called a excellent cook all over Jonesville, and all round the adjoining + country, out as far as Loontown, and Zoar. It has come straight back to me + by them that wouldn't lie. But it hain't made me vain. + </p> + <p> + But I never cooked a thing that suited Lodema, not a single thing. Most of + my vittles wuz too fresh, and then if I braced up and salted 'em extra so + as to be sure to please her, why then they wuz briny, and hurt her mouth. + </p> + <p> + Why, if you'll believe it, I give her a shawl, made her a present of it; + it had even checks black and white, jest as many threads in the black + stripes as there wuz in the white, for I counted 'em. + </p> + <p> + And she told me, after she had looked it all over and said it wuz kinder + thin and slazy, and checkered shawls had gone out of fashion, and the + black looked some as if it would fade with washin', and the white wuzn't + over clear, and the colors wuzn't no ways becomin' to her complexion, and + etcetery, etcetery. + </p> + <p> + “But,” sez she, after she had got all through with the rest of her + complaints—“if the white stripes wuz where the black wuz, and the + black where the white wuz, she should like it quite well.” And there it + wuz, even check, two and two. Wall, that wuz a sample of her doin's. If + anybody had a Roman nose she wanted a Greecy one. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="036.jpg (61K)" src="images/036.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And if the nose wuz Greece, why then she wanted Rome. + </p> + <p> + Why, Josiah sez to me along about the third week, he said (to ourselves, + in private), “that if Lodema went to Heaven she would be dissatisfied with + it, and think it wuz livelier, and more goin' on down to the other place.” + And he said she would get the angels all stirred up a findin' fault with + their feathers. + </p> + <p> + I told him “I would not hear such talk.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez he, “don't you believe it?” + </p> + <p> + And I kinder turned him off, and wouldn't tell, and told him it wuz wicked + to talk so. + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez Josiah, “you dassent say she wouldn't.” + </p> + <p> + And I dassent, though I wouldn't own it up to him, I dassent. + </p> + <p> + And if she kinder got out of other occupations for a minute durin' them + first weeks she would be a quarrelin' with Josiah Allen about age. + </p> + <p> + I s'pose she and Josiah wuzn't far from the same age, for they wuz + children together. But she wanted to make out she wuz young. + </p> + <p> + And she would tell Josiah that “he seemed jest like a father to her, and + always had.” And sometimes when she felt the most curius, she would call + him “Father,” and “Pa,” and “Papa.” And it would mad Josiah Allen so that + I would have all I could do to quell him down. + </p> + <p> + Now I didn't feel so, I didn't mind it so much. Why, there would be days, + when she felt the curiusest, that she would call me “Mother,” and “Ma,” + and foller me round with foot-stools and things, when I went to set down, + and would kinder worry over my fallin' off the back step, and would offer + to help me up the suller stairs, and so forth, and watchin' over what I + et, and tellin' me folks of my age ort to be careful, and not over-eat. + </p> + <p> + And Josiah asked me to ask her “How she felt about that time?” For she wuz + from three to four years older than I wuz. + </p> + <p> + But I wouldn't contend with her, and the footstools come kinder handy, I + had jest as lieve have 'em under my feet as not, and ruther. And as for + rich vittles not agreein' with me, and my not over-eatin', I broke that + tip by fallin' right in with her, and not cookin' such good things—that + quelled her down, and gaulded Josiah too. + </p> + <p> + But, as I said, it riled Josiah the worst of anything to have Lodema call + him father, for he wants to make out that he is kinder young himself. + </p> + <p> + And sez he to her one day, about the third week, when she was a-goin' on + about how good and fatherly he looked, and how much he seemed like a + parent to her, and always had, sez he: “I wonder if I seemed like a father + to you when we wuz a-kickin' at each other in the same cradle?” Sez he: + “We both used to nuss out of the same bottle, any way, for I have heard my + mother say so lots of times. There wuzn't ten days' difference in our + ages. You wuz ten days the oldest as I have always made out.” + </p> + <p> + She screamed right out, “Why, Josiah Allen, where is your conscience to + talk in that way—and your heart?” + </p> + <p> + “In here, where everybody's is,” sez Josiah, strikin' himself with his + right hand—he meant to strike against his left breast, but struck + too low, kinder on his stomach. + </p> + <p> + And sez I, “That is what I have always thought, Josiah Allen. I have + always had better luck reachin' your conscience through your stomach than + in any other way. And now,” sez I coldly, “do you go out and bring in a + pail of water.” + </p> + <p> + I used to get beat out and sick of their scufflin's and disagreein's, and + broke 'em up whenever I could. + </p> + <p> + But oh! oh! how she did quarrel with Josiah Allen and that buzz saw scheme + of his'n. How light she made of that enterprise, how she demeaned the + buzz, and run the saws—till I felt that bad as I hated the + enterprise myself, I felt that a variety of loud buzz saws would be a + welcome relief from her tongue—from their two tongues; for as fur + down as she would run them buzz saws, jest so fur would Josiah Allen + praise 'em up. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="037.jpg (42K)" src="images/037.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + She never agreed with Josiah Allen but in jest one thing while she was + under his ruff. I happened to mention one day how extremely anxious I wuz + to have females set on the Conference; and then, wantin' to dispute me, + and also bein' set on that side, she run down the project, and called it + all to nort—and when too late she see that she had got over on + Josiah Allen's side of the fence. + </p> + <p> + But it had one good effect. When that man see she wuz there, he waded off, + way out of sight of the project, and wouldn't mention it—it madded + him so to be on the same side of the fence she wuz—so that it seemed + to happen all for the best. + </p> + <p> + Why, I took her as a dispensation from the first, and drawed all sorts of + morels from her, and sights of 'em—sights. + </p> + <p> + But oh, it wuz tuff on me, fearful tuff. + </p> + <p> + And when she calculated and laid out to make out her visit and go, wuz + more than we could tell. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c8" id="c8"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="038c8.jpg (95K)" src="images/038c8.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER VIII. + </p> + <p> + For two weeks had passed away like a nite mair of the nite—and three + weeks, and four weeks—and she didn't seem to be no nigher goin' than + she did when she came. + </p> + <p> + And I would not make a move towards gettin' rid of her, not if I had + dropped down in my tracts, because she wuz one of the relatives on his + side. + </p> + <p> + But I wuz completely fagged out; it did seem, as I told Tirzah Ann one day + in confidence, “that I never knew the meanin' of the word 'fag' before.” + </p> + <p> + And Tirzah Ann told me (she couldn't bear her) that if she wuz in my + place, she would start her off. Sez she: + </p> + <p> + “She has plenty of brothers and sisters, and a home of her own, and why + should she come here to torment you and father;” and sez she, “I'll talk + to her, mother, I'd jest as leve as not.” Sez I, “Tirzah Ann, if you say a + word to her, I'll—I'll never put confidence in you agin;” sez I, + “Life is full of tribulations, and we must expect to bear our crosses;” + sez I, “The old martyrs went through more than Lodema.” + </p> + <p> + Sez Tirzah Ann, “I believe Lodema would have wore out John Rogers.” + </p> + <p> + And I don't know but she would, but I didn't encourage her by ownin' it up + that she would; but I declare for't, I believe she would have been more + tegus than the nine children, and the one at the breast, any way. + </p> + <p> + Wall, as I said, it wuz durin' the fifth week that Josiah Allen turned + right round, and used her first rate. + </p> + <p> + And when she would talk before folks about how much filial affection she + had for him, and about his always havin' been jest like a parent to her, + and everything of the kind—he never talked back a mite, but looked + clever, and told me in confidence, “That he had turned over a new leaf, + and he wuz goin' to surprise her—give her a happy surprise.” + </p> + <p> + And he seemed, instead of lovin' to rile her up, as he had, to jest put + his hull mind on the idee of the joyful surprise. + </p> + <p> + Wall, I am always afraid (with reason) of Josiah Allen's enterprizes. But + do all I could, he wouldn't tell me one word about what he wuz goin' to + do, only he kep it up, kep a-sayin' that, + </p> + <p> + “It wuz somethin' I couldn't help approvin' of, and it wuz somethin' that + would happify me, and be a solid comfort to her, and a great gain and + honor.” + </p> + <p> + So (though I trembled some for the result) I had to let it go on, for she + wuz one of the relations on his own side, and I knew it wouldn't do for me + to interfere too much, and meddle. + </p> + <p> + Why, he did come right out one day and give hints to me to that effect. + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Why do you go on and be so secret about it? Why don't you tell + your companion all about it, what you are a-goin' to do, and advise with + her?” + </p> + <p> + And he sez, “I guess I know what I am about. She is one of the relations + on my side, and I guess I have got a few rights left, and a little spunk.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez I, sadly, “you have got the spunk.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez he, “I guess I can spunk up, and do somethin' for one of my + own relations, without any interference or any advice from any of the + Smith family, or anybody else.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “I don't want to stop your doin' all you can for Lodema, but why + not tell what you are a-goin' to do?” + </p> + <p> + “It will be time enough when the time comes,” sez he. “You will find it + out in the course of next week.” + </p> + <p> + Wall, it run along to the middle of the next week. And one day I had jest + sot down to tie off a comforter. + </p> + <p> + It wuz unbleached cheese cloth that I had bought and colored with tea + leaves. It wuz a sort of a light mice color, a pretty soft gray, and I wuz + goin' to tie it in with little balls of red zephyr woosted, and work it in + buttonhole stitch round the edge with the same. + </p> + <p> + It wuz fur our bed, Josiah's and mine, and it wuz goin' to be soft and + warm and very pretty, though I say it, that shouldn't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="039.jpg (103K)" src="images/039.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + It wuzn't quite so pretty as them that hain't colored. I had 'em for my + spare beds, cream color tied with pale blue and pink, that wuz perfectly + beautiful and very dressy; but I thought for everyday use a colored one + would be better. + </p> + <p> + Wall, I had brought it out and wuz jest a-goin' to put it onto the frames + (some new-fashioned ones I had borrowed from Tirzah Ann for the occasion). + </p> + <p> + And Cousin Lodema had jest observed, “that the new-fashioned frames with + legs wuzn't good for nothin', and she didn't like the color of gray, it + looked too melancholy, and would be apt to depress our feelin's too much, + and would be tryin' to our complexions.” + </p> + <p> + And I told her “that I didn't spoze there would be a very great + congregation in our bedroom, as a general thing in the dead of night, to + see whether it wuz becomin' to Josiah and me or not. And, it bein' as dark + as Egypt, our complexions wouldn't make a very bad show any way.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” she said, “to tie it with red wuzn't at all appropriate, it wuz + too dressy a color for folks of our age, Josiah's and mine.” “Why,” sez + she, “even <i>I</i>, at <i>my</i> age, would skurcely care to sleep under + one so gay. And she wouldn't have a cheese cloth comforter any way.” She + sort o' stopped to ketch breath, and Josiah sez: + </p> + <p> + “Oh, wall, Lodema, a cheese cloth comforter is better than none, and I + should think you would be jest the one to like any sort of a frame on + legs.” + </p> + <p> + But I wunk at him, a real severe and warnin' wink, and he stopped short + off, for all the world as if he had forgot bein' on his good behavior; he + stopped short off, and went right to behavin', and sez he to me: + </p> + <p> + “Don't put on your comforter to-day, Samantha, for Tirzah Ann and + Whitfield and the babe are a-comin' over here bimeby, and Maggie is + a-comin', and Thomas Jefferson.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I, “that is a good reason why I should keep on with it; the + girls can help me if I don't get it off before they get here.” + </p> + <p> + And then he sez, “Miss Minkley is a-comin', too, and the Elder.” + </p> + <p> + “Why'ee,” sez I, “Josiah Allen, why didn't you tell me before, so I could + have baked up somethin' nice? What a man you are to keep things; how long + have you known it?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, a week or so!” + </p> + <p> + “A week!” sez I; “Josiah Allen, where is your conscience? if you have got + a conscience.” + </p> + <p> + “In the same old place,” sez he, kinder hittin' himself in the pit of his + stomach. + </p> + <p> + “Wall, I should think as much,” sez I. + </p> + <p> + And Lodema sez, sez she: “A man that won't tell things is of all creeters + that walks the earth the most disagreeable. And I should think the girls, + Maggie and Tirzah Ann, would want to stay to home and clean house such a + day as this is. And I should think a Elder would want to stay to home so's + to be on hand in case of anybody happenin' to be exercised in their minds, + and wantin to talk to him on religious subjects. And if I wuz a Elder's + wife, I should stay to home with him; I should think it wuz my duty and my + privilege. And if I wuz a married woman, I would have enough baked up in + the house all the time, so's not to be afraid of company.” + </p> + <p> + But I didn't answer back. I jest sot away my frames, and went out and + stirred up a cake; I had one kind by me, besides cookies and jell tarts. + </p> + <p> + But I felt real worked up to think I hadn't heard. Wall, I hadn't more'n + got that cake fairly into the oven when the children come, and Elder + Minkley and his wife. And I thought they looked queer, and I thought the + Elder begun to tell me somethin', and I thought I see Josiah wink at him. + But I wouldn't want to take my oath whether he wunk or not, but I <i>thought</i> + he wunk. + </p> + <p> + I wuz jest a turnin' this over in my mind, and a carryin' away their + things, when I glanced out of the settin' room winder, and lo, and behold! + there wuz Abi Adsit a comin' up to the front door, and right behind her + wuz her Pa and Ma Adsit, and Deacon Henzy and his wife, and Miss Henn and + Metilda, and Lute Pitkins and his wife, and Miss Petengill, and Deacon + Sypher and Drusilly, and Submit Tewksbury—a hull string of 'em as + long as a procession. + </p> + <p> + Sez I, and I spoke it right out before I thought—sez I— + </p> + <p> + “Why'ee!” sez I. “For the land's sake!” sez I, “has there been a funeral, + or anything? And are these the mourners?” sez I. “Are they stoppin' here + to warm?” + </p> + <p> + For it wuz a cold day—and I repeated the words to myself + mechanically as it wuz, as I see 'em file up the path. + </p> + <p> + “They be mourners, hain't they?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” sez Josiah, who had come in and wuz a standin' by the side of me, as + I spoke out to myself unbeknown to me—sez he in a proud axent— + </p> + <p> + “No, they hain't mourners, they are Happyfiers; they are Highlariers; they + have come to our party. We are givin' a party, Samantha. We are havin' a + diamond weddin' here for Lodema.” + </p> + <p> + “A diamond weddin'!” I repeated mechanically. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, this is my happy surprise for Lodema.” + </p> + <p> + I looked at Lodema Trumble. She looked strange. She had sunk back in her + chair. I thought she wuz a-goin' to faint, and she told somebody the next + day, “that she did almost lose her conscientiousness.” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” sez I, “she hain't married.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="040.jpg (114K)" src="images/040.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Wall, she ort to be, if she hain't,” sez he. “I say it is high time for + her to have some sort of a weddin'. Everybody is a havin' 'em—tin, + and silver and wooden, and basswood, and glass, and etc.—and I + thought it wuz a perfect shame that Lodema shouldn't have none of no kind—and + I thought I'd lay to, and surprise her with one. Every other man seemed to + be a-holdin' off, not willin' seemin'ly that she should have one, and I + jest thought I would happify her with one.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall, why didn't you make her a silver one, or a tin?” sez I. + </p> + <p> + “Or a paper one!” screamed Lodema, who had riz up out of her almost + faintin' condition. “That would have been much more appropriate,” sez she. + </p> + <p> + “Wall, I thought a diamond one would be more profitable to her. For I + asked 'em all to bring diamonds, if they brought anything. And then I + thought it would be more suitable to her age.” + </p> + <p> + “Why!” she screamed out. “They have to be married seventy-five years + before they can have one.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez he dreemily, “I thought that would be about the right figure.” + </p> + <p> + Lodema wuz too mad to find fault or complain or anything. She jest marched + up-stairs and didn't come down agin that night. And the young folks had a + splendid good time, and the old ones, too. + </p> + <p> + Tirzah Ann and Maggie had brought some refreshments with 'em, and so had + some of the other wimmen, and, with what I had, there wuz enough, and more + than enough, to refresh ourselves with. + </p> + <p> + Wall, the very next mornin' Lodema marched down like a grenideer, and + ordered Josiah to take her to the train. And she eat breakfast with her + things on, and went away immegiately after, and hain't been back here + sense. + </p> + <p> + And I wuz truly glad to see her go, but wuz sorry she went in such a way, + and I tell Josiah he wuz to blame, + </p> + <p> + But he acts as innocent as you pleese. And he goes all over the arguments + agin every time I take him to do about it. He sez “she wuz old enough to + have a weddin' of some kind.” + </p> + <p> + And of course I can't dispute that, when he faces me right down, and sez: + </p> + <p> + “Hain't she old enough?” + </p> + <p> + And I'll say, kinder short— + </p> + <p> + “Why, I spoze so!” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez he, “wouldn't it have been profitable to her if they had + brought diamonds? Wouldn't it have been both surprisin' and profitable?” + And sez he, “I told 'em expressly to bring diamonds if they had more than + they wanted. I charged old Bobbet and Lute Pitkins specially on the + subject. I didn't want 'em to scrimp themselves; but,” sez I, “if you have + got more diamonds than you want, Lute, bring over a few to Lodema.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="041.jpg (48K)" src="images/041.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez I, coldly, “he wuz dretful likely to have diamonds more then he + wanted, workin' out by day's work to support his family. You know there + wuzn't a soul you invited that owned a diamond.” + </p> + <p> + “How did I know what they owned? I never have prowled round into their + bureau draws and things, tryin' to find out what they had; they might have + had quarts of 'em, and I not know it.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “You did it to make fun of Lodema and get rid of her. And it only + makes it worse to try to smooth it over.” Sez I, “I'd be honorable about + it if I wuz in your place, and own up.” + </p> + <p> + “Own up? What have I got to own up? I shall always say if my orders wuz + carried out, it would have been a profitable affair for Lodema, and it + would—profitable and surprisin'.” + </p> + <p> + And that is all I can get him to say about it, from that day to this. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c9" id="c9"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="042c9.jpg (100K)" src="images/042c9.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER IX. + </p> + <p> + But truly the labors that descended onto my shoulders immegiately after + Lodema's departure wuz hard enough to fill up my hull mind, and tax every + one of my energies. + </p> + <p> + Yes, my labors and the labors of the other female Jonesvillians wuz deep + and arjuous in the extreme (of which more and anon bimeby). + </p> + <p> + I had been the female appinted in a private and becomin' female way, to go + to Loontown to see the meetin' house there that we heard they had fixed + over in a cheap but commojous way. And for reasons (of which more and + anon) we wanted to inquire into the expense, the looks on't, etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + So I persuaded Josiah Allen to take me over to Loontown on this pressin' + business, and he gin his consent to go on the condition that we should + stop for a visit to Cephas Bodley'ses. Josiah sets store by 'em. You see + they are relations of ourn and have been for some time, entirely unbeknown + to us, and they'd come more'n a year ago a huntin' of us up. They said + they “thought relations ought to be hunted up and hanged together.” They + said “the idea of huntin' us up had come to 'em after readin' my books.” + They told me so, and I said, “Wall!” I didn't add nor diminish to that one + “wall,” for I didn't want to act too backward, nor too forward. I jest + kep' kinder neutral, and said, “Wall!” + </p> + <p> + You see Cephas'ses father's sister-in-law wuz stepmother to my aunt's + second cousin on my father's side. And Cephas said that “he had felt more + and more, as years went by, that it wuz a burnin' shame for relations to + not know and love each other.” He said “he felt that he loved Josiah and + me dearly.” + </p> + <p> + I didn't say right out whether it wuz reciprokated or not I kinder said, + “Wall!” agin. + </p> + <p> + And I told Josiah, in perfect confidence and the wood-house chamber, “that + I had seen nearer relations than Mr. Bodley'ses folks wuz to us,” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="043.jpg (125K)" src="images/043.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Howsumever, I done well by 'em. Josiah killed a fat turkey, and I baked + it, and done other things for their comfort, and we had quite a good time. + Cephas wuz ruther flowery and enthusiastick, and his mouth and voice wuz + ruther large, but he meant well, I should judge, and we had quite a good + time. + </p> + <p> + She wuz very freckled, and a second-day Baptist by perswasion, and wuz + piecin' up a crazy bedquilt. She went a-visitin' a good deal, and got + pieces of the women's dresses where she visited for blocks. So it wuz + quite a savin' bedquilt, and very good-lookin', considerin'. + </p> + <p> + But to resoom and continue on. Cephas'ses folks made us promise on our two + sacred honors, Josiah's honor and mine, that we would pay back the visit, + for, as Cephas said, “for relatives to live so clost to each other, and + not to visit back and forth, wuz a burnin' shame and a disgrace.” And + Josiah promised that we would go right away after sugerin'. + </p> + <p> + We wouldn't promise on the New Testament, as Cephas wanted us to (he is + dretful enthusiastick); but we gin good plain promises that we would go, + and laid out to keep our two words. + </p> + <p> + Wall, we got there onexpected, as they had come onto us. And we found 'em + plunged into trouble. Their only child, a girl, who had married a young + lawyer of Loontown, had jest lost her husband with the typus, and they wuz + a-makin' preparations for the funeral when we got there. She and her + husband had come on a visit, and he wuz took down bed-sick there and died. + </p> + <p> + I told 'em I felt like death to think I had descended down onto 'em at + such a time. + </p> + <p> + But Cephas said he wuz jest dispatchin' a messenger for us when we arrove, + for, he said, “in a time of trouble, then wuz the time, if ever, that a + man wanted his near relations clost to him.” + </p> + <p> + And he said “we had took a load offen him by appearin' jest as we did, for + there would have been some delay in gettin' us there, if the messenger had + been dispatched.” + </p> + <p> + He said “that mornin' he had felt so bad that he wanted to die—it + seemed as if there wuzn't nothin' left for him to live for; but now he + felt that he had sunthin' to live for, now his relatives wuz gathered + round him.” + </p> + <p> + Josiah shed tears to hear Cephas go on. I myself didn't weep none, but I + wuz glad if we could be any comfort to 'em, and told 'em so. + </p> + <p> + And I told Sally Ann, that wuz Cephas'ses wife, that I would do anything I + could to help 'em. And she said everything wuz a-bein' done that wuz + necessary. She didn't know of but one thing that wuz likely to be + overlooked and neglected, and that wuz the crazy bedquilt. She said “she + would love to have that finished to throw over a lounge in the + settin'-room, that wuz frayed out on the edges, and if I felt like it, it + <i>would</i> be a great relief to her to have me take it right offen her + hands and finish it.” + </p> + <p> + So I took out my thimble and needle (I always carry such necessaries with + me, in a huzzy made expressly for that purpose), and I sot down and went + to piecin' up. There wuz seventeen blocks to piece up, each one crazy as a + loon to look at, and it wuz all to set together. + </p> + <p> + She had the pieces, for she had been off on a visitin' tower the week + before, and collected of 'em. + </p> + <p> + So I sot in quiet and the big chair in the settin'-room, and pieced up, + and see the preparations goin' on round us. + </p> + <p> + I found that Cephas'ses folks lived in a house big and showy-lookin', but + not so solid and firm as I had seen. + </p> + <p> + It wuz one of the houses, outside and inside, where more pains had been + took with the porticos and ornaments than with the underpinnin'. + </p> + <p> + It had a showy and kind of a shaky look. And I found that that extended to + Cephas'ses business arrangements. Amongst the other ornaments of his + buildin's wuz mortgages, quite a lot of'em, and of almost every variety. + He had gin his only child, S. Annie (she wuz named after her mother, Sally + Ann, but spelt it this way), he had gin S. Annie a showy education, a + showy weddin', and a showy settin'-out. But she had had the good luck to + marry a sensible man, though poor. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="044.jpg (54K)" src="images/044.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + He took S. Annie and the brackets, the piano and hangin' lamps and baskets + and crystal bead lambrequins, her father had gin her, moved 'em all into a + good, sensible, small house, and went to work to get a practice and a + livin'. He was a lawyer by perswasion. + </p> + <p> + Wall, he worked hard, day and night, for three little children come to 'em + pretty fast, and S. Annie consumed a good deal in trimmin's and cheap lace + to ornament 'em; she wuz her father's own girl for ornament. But he worked + so hard, and had so many irons in the fire, and kep' 'em all so hot, that + he got a good livin' for 'em, and begun to lay up money towards buyin' 'em + a house—a home. + </p> + <p> + He talked a sight, so folks said that knew him well, about his consumin' + desire and aim to get his wife and children into a little home of their + own, into a safe little haven, where they could live if he wuz called + away. They say that that wuz on his mind day and night, and wuz what + nerved his hand so in the fray, and made him so successful. Wall, he had + laid up about nine hundred dollars towards a home, every dollar on it + earned by hard work and consecrated by this deathless hope and affection. + The house he had got his mind on only cost about a thousand dollars. + Loontown property is cheap. + </p> + <p> + Wall, he had laid up nine hundred, and wuz a-beginnin' to save on the last + hundred, for he wouldn't run in debt a cent any way, when he wuz took + voyalent sick there to Cephas'ses; he and S. Annie had come home for a + visit of a day or two, and he bein' so run down, and weak with his hard + day work and his night work, that he suckumbed to his sickness, and passed + away the day before I got there. + </p> + <p> + Wall, S. Annie wuz jest overcome with grief the day I got there, but the + day follerin' she begun to take some interest and help her father in + makin' preparations for the funeral. + </p> + <p> + The body wuz embalmed, accordin' to Cephas'ses and S. Annie's wish, and + the funeral wuz to be on the Sunday follerin', and on that Cephas and S. + Annie now bent their energies. + </p> + <p> + To begin with, S. Annie had a hull suit of clear crape made for herself, + with a veil that touched the ground; she also had three other suits + commenced, for more common wear, trimmed heavy with crape, one of which + she ordered for sure the next week, for she said, “she couldn't stir out + of the house in any other color but black.” + </p> + <p> + I knew jest how dear crape wuz, and I tackled her on the subject, and sez + I— + </p> + <p> + “Do you know, S. Annie, these dresses of your'n will cost a sight?” + </p> + <p> + “Cost?” sez she, a-bustin' out a-cryin'. “What do I care about cost? I + will do everything I can to respect his memory. I do it in remembrance of + him.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, gently, “S. Annie, you wouldn't forget him if you wuz dressed in + white. And as for respect, such a life as his, from all I hear of it, + don't need crape to throw respect on it; it commands respect, and gets it + from everybody.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” sez Cephas, “it would look dretful odd to the neighbors if she + didn't dress in black.” Sez he in a skairful tone, and in his intense way— + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="045.jpg (122K)" src="images/045.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “I would ruther resk my life than to have her fail in duty in this way; it + would make talk. And.” sez he, “what is life worth when folks talk?” I + turned around the crazed block and tackled it in a new place (more luny + than ever it seemed to me), and sez I, mekanickly— + </p> + <p> + “It is pretty hard work to keep folks from talkin'; to keep 'em from + sayin' somethin'.” + </p> + <p> + But I see from their looks it wouldn't do to say anything more, so I had + to set still and see it go on. + </p> + <p> + At that time of year flowers wuz dretful high, but S. Annie and Cephas had + made up their minds that they must have several flower-pieces from the + city nighest to Loontown. + </p> + <p> + One wuz a-goin' to be a gate ajar, and one wuz to be a gate wide open, and + one wuz to be a big book. Cephas asked what book I thought would be + preferable to represent. And I mentioned the Bible. + </p> + <p> + But Cephas sez, “No, he didn't think he would have a Bible; he didn't + think it would be appropriate, seein' the deceased wuz a lawyer.” He said + “he hadn't quite made up his mind what book to have. But anyway it wuz to + be in flowers—beautiful flowers.” Another piece wuz to be his name + in white flowers on a purple background of pansies. His name wuz + Wellington Napoleon Bonaparte Hardiman. And I sez to Cephas—“To save + expense, you will probable have the moneygram W.N.B.H.?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, no,” sez he. + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “hen the initials of his given names, and the last name in full.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, no,” he said; “it wuz S. Annie's wish, and hisen, that the hull name + should be put on. They thought it would show more respect.” + </p> + <p> + I sez, “Where Wellington is now, that hain't a goin' to make any + difference, and,” sez I, “Cephas, flowers are dretful high this time of + year, and it is a long name.” + </p> + <p> + But Cephas said agin that he didn't care for expense, so long as respect + wuz done to the memory of the deceased. He said that he and S. Annie both + felt that it wuz their wish to have the funeral go ahead of any other that + had ever took place in Loontown or Jonesville. He said that S. Annie felt + that it wuz all that wuz left her now in life, the memory of such a + funeral as he deserved. + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “There is his children left for her to live for,” sez I—“three + little bits of his own life, for her to nourish, and cherish, and look out + for.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez Cephas, “and she will do that nobly, and I will help her. They + are all goin' to the funeral, too, in deep-black dresses.” He said “they + wuz too little to realize it now, but in later and maturer years it would + be a comfort to 'em to know they had took part in such a funeral as that + wuz goin' to be, and wuz dressed in black.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I (in a quiet, onassumin' way I would gin little hints of my + mind on the subject), “I am afraid that will be about all the comforts of + life the poor little children will ever have,” sez I. “It will be if you + buy many more flower-pieces and crape dresses.” + </p> + <p> + Cephas said “it wouldn't take much crape for the children's dresses, they + wuz so little, only the baby's; that would have to be long.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “The baby would look better in white, and it will take sights of + crape for a long baby dress.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, but S. Annie can use it afterwards for veils. She is very + economical; she takes it from me. And she feels jest as I do, that the + baby must wear it in respect to her father's memory.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “The baby don't know crape from a clothes-pin.” + </p> + <p> + “No,” sez Cephas, “but in after years the thought of the respect she + showed will sustain her.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I, “I guess she won't have much besides thoughts to live on, + if things go on in this way.” + </p> + <p> + I would give little hints in this way, but they wuzn't took. Things went + right on as if I hadn't spoke. And I couldn't contend, for truly, as a bad + little boy said once on a similar occasion, “it wuzn't my funeral,” so I + had to set and work on that insane bedquilt and see it go on. But I sithed + constant and frequent, and when I wuz all alone in the room I indulged in + a few low groans. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c10" id="c10"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="046c10.jpg (95K)" src="images/046c10.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER X. + </p> + <p> + We dressmakers wuz in the house, to stay all the time till the dresses wuz + done; and clerks would come around, anon, if not oftener, with packages of + mournin' goods, and mournin' jewelry, and mournin' handkerchiefs, and + mournin' stockings, and mournin' stockin'-supporters, and mournin' + safety-pins, and etc., etc., etc., etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + Every one of 'em, I knew, a-wrenchin' boards offen the sides of that house + that Wellington had worked so hard to get for his wife and little ones. + </p> + <p> + Wall, the day of the funeral come. It wuz a wet, drizzly day, but Cephas + wuz up early, to see that everything wuz as he wanted it to be. + </p> + <p> + As fur as I wuz concerned, I had done my duty, for the crazy bedquilt wuz + done; and though brains might totter as they looked at it, I felt that it + wuzn't my fault. Sally Ann spread it out with complacency over the lounge, + and thanked me, with tears in her eyes, for my noble deed. + </p> + <p> + Along quite early in the mornin', before the show commenced, I went in to + see Wellington. + </p> + <p> + He lay there calm and peaceful, with a look on his face as if he had got + away at last from a atmosphere of show and sham, and had got into the + great Reality of life. + </p> + <p> + It wuz a good face, and the worryment and care that folks told me had been + on it for years had all faded away. But the look of determination, and + resolve, and bravery,—that wuz ploughed too deep in his face to be + smoothed out, even by the mighty hand that had lain on it. The resolved + look, the brave look with which he had met the warfare of life, toiled for + victory over want, toiled to place his dear and helpless ones in a + position of safety,—that look wuz on his face yet, as if the + deathless hope and endeavor had gone on into eternity with him. + </p> + <p> + And by the side of him, on a table, wuz the big high flower-pieces, + beginnin' already to wilt and decay. + </p> + <p> + Wall, it's bein' such an uncommon bad day, there wuzn't many to the + funeral. But we rode to the meetin'-house in Loontown in a state and + splendor that I never expect to again. Cephas had hired eleven mournin' + coaches, and the day bein' so bad, and so few a-turnin' out to the + funeral, that in order to occupy all the coaches—and Cephas thought + it would look better and more popular to have 'em all occupied—we + divided up, and Josiah went in one, alone, and lonesome as a dog, as he + said afterwards to me. And I sot up straight and oncomfortable in another + one on 'em, stark alone. + </p> + <p> + Cephas had one to himself, and his wife another one, and two old maids, + sisters of Cephas'ses who always made a point of attendin' funerals, they + each one of 'em had one. S. Annie and her children, of course, had the + first one, and then the minister had one, and one of the trustees in the + neighborhood had another; so we lengthened out into quite a crowd, all + a-follerin' the shiny hearse, and the casket all covered with showy plated + nails. I thought of it in jest that way, for Wellington, I knew, the real + Wellington, wuzn't there. No, he wuz fur away—as fur as the Real is + from the Unreal. Wall, we filed into the Loontown meetin'-house in pretty + good shape. The same meetin'-house I had been sent to reconoiter. But + Cephas hadn't no black handkerchief, and he looked worried about it. He + had shed tears a-tellin' me about it, what a oversight it wuz, while I wuz + a fixin' on his mournin' weed. He took it into his head to have a deeper + weed at the last minute, so I fixed it on. He had the weed come up to the + top of his hat and lap over. I never see so tall a weed. But it suited + Cephas; he said “he thought it showed deep respect.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I, “it is a deep weed, anyway—the deepest I ever see.” + And he said as I wuz a sewin' it on, he a-holdin' his hat for me, “that + Wellington deserved it; he deserved it all.” + </p> + <p> + But, as I say, he shed tears to think that his handkerchief wuzn't + black-bordered. He said “it wuz a fearful oversight; it would probably + make talk.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” I sez, “mebby it won't be noticed.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="047.jpg (123K)" src="images/047.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Yes, it will,” sez he. “It will be noticed.” And sez he, “I don't care + about myself, but I am afraid it will reflect onto Wellington. I am afraid + they will think it shows a lack of respect for him. For Wellington's sake + I feel cut down about it.” + </p> + <p> + And I sez, “I guess where Wellington is now, the color of a handkerchief + border hain't a-goin' to make much difference to him either way.” + </p> + <p> + And I don't spoze it wuz noticed much, for there wuzn't more'n ten or a + dozen folks there when we went in. We went in in Injin file mostly by + Cephas'ses request, so's to make more show. And as a procession we wuz + middlin' long, but ruther thin. + </p> + <p> + The sermon wuz not so very good as to quality, but abundant as to + quantity. It wuz, as nigh as I could calkerlate, about a hour and + three-quarters long. Josiah whispered to me along about the last that “we + had been there over seven hours, and his legs wuz paralyzed.” + </p> + <p> + And I whispered back that “seven hours would take us into the night, and + to stretch his feet out and pinch 'em,” which he did. + </p> + <p> + But it wuz long and tegus. My feet got to sleep twice, and I had hard work + to wake 'em up agin. The sermon meant to be about Wellington, I s'pose; he + did talk a sight about him, and then he kinder branched off onto politics, + and then the Inter-State bill; he kinder favored it, I thought. + </p> + <p> + Wall, we all got drippin' wet a-goin' home, for Cephas insisted on our + gettin' out at the grave, for he had hired some uncommon high singers + (high every way, in price and in notes) to sing at the grave. + </p> + <p> + And so we disembarked in the drippin' rain, on the wet grass, and formed a + procession agin. And Cephas had a long exercise light there in the rain. + But the singin' wuz kinder jerky and curius, and they had got their pay + beforehand, so they hurried it through. And one man, the tenor, who wuz + dretful afraid of takin' cold, hurried through his part and got through + first, and started on a run for the carriage. The others stood their + grounds till the piece wuz finished, but they put on some dretful curius + quavers. I believe they had had chills; it sounded like it. + </p> + <p> + Take it altogether, I don't believe anybody got much satisfaction out of + it, only Cephas. S. Annie sp'ilt her dress and bonnet entirely—they + wuz wilted all down; and she ordered another suit jest like it before she + slept. Wall, the next mornin' early two men come with plans for monuments. + Cephas had telegrafted to 'em to come with plans and bid for the job of + furnishin' the monument. + </p> + <p> + And after a good deal of talk on both sides, Cephas and S. Annie selected + one that wuz very high and p'inted. + </p> + <p> + The men stayed to dinner, and I said to Cephas out to one side— + </p> + <p> + “Cephas, that monument is a-goin' to cost a sight.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez he, “we can't raise too high a one. Wellington deserved it + all.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Won't that and all these funeral expenses take about all the money + he left?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, no!” sez he. “He had insured his life for a large amount, and it all + goes to his wife and children. He deserves a monument if a man ever did.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” sez I, “don't you believe that Wellington would ruther have S. + Annie and the children settled down in a good little home with sumthin' + left to take care of 'em, than to have all this money spent in perfectly + useless things?” + </p> + <p> + “<i>Useless!</i>” sez Cephas, turnin' red. “Why,” sez he, “if you wuzn't a + near relation I should resent that speech bitterly.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I, “what do all these flowers, and empty carriages, and + silver-plated nails, and crape, and so forth—what does it all amount + to?” + </p> + <p> + “Respect and honor to his memory,” sez Cephas, proudly. + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Such a life as Wellington's had them; no body could take 'em away + nor deminish 'em. Such a brave, honest life is crowned with honor and + respect any way. It don't need no crape, nor flowers, nor monuments to win + 'em. And, at the same time,” sez I dreamily, “if a man is mean, no amount + of crape, or flower-pieces, or flowery sermons, or obituries, is a-goin' + to cover up that meanness. A life has to be lived out-doors as it were; it + can't be hid. A string of mournin' carriages, no matter how long, hain't + a-goin' to carry a dishonorable life into honor, and no grave, no matter + how low and humble it is, is a-goin' to cover up a honorable life. + </p> + <p> + “Such a life as Wellington's don't need no monument to carry up the story + of his virtues into the heavens; it is known there already. And them that + mourn his loss don't need cold marble words to recall his goodness and + faithfulness. The heart where the shadow of his eternal absence has fell + don't need crape to make it darker. + </p> + <p> + “Wellington wouldn't be forgot if S. Annie wore pure white from day today. + No, nobody that knew Wellington, from all I have hearn of him, needs crape + to remind 'em that he wuz once here and now is gone. + </p> + <p> + “Howsomever, as fur as that is concerned, I always feel that mourners must + do as they are a mind to about crape, with fear and tremblin'—that + is, if they are well off, and <i>can</i> do as they are a mind to; and the + same with monuments, flowers, empty coaches, etc. But in this case, Cephas + Bodley, I wouldn't be a doin' my duty if I didn't speak my mind. When I + look at these little helpless souls that are left in a cold world with + nothin' to stand between them and want but the small means their pa worked + so hard for and left for the express purpose of takin' care of 'em, it + seems to me a foolish thing, and a cruel thing, to spend all that money on + what is entirely onnecessary.” + </p> + <p> + “Onnecessary!” sez Cephas, angrily. “Agin I say, Josiah Allen's wife, that + if it wuzn't for our close relationship I should turn on you. A worm will + turn,” sez he, “if it is too hardly trampled on.” + </p> + <p> + “I hain't trampled on you,” sez I, “nor hain't had no idea on't. I wuz + only statin' the solemn facts and truth of the matter. And you will see it + some time, Cephas Bodley, if you don't now.” + </p> + <p> + Sez Cephas, “The worm has turned, Josiah Allen's wife! Yes, I feel that I + have got to look now to more distant relations for comfort. Yes, the worm + has been stomped on too heavy.” + </p> + <p> + He looked cold, cold as a iceickle almost. And I see that jest the few + words I had spoke, jest the slight hints I had gin, hadn't been took as + they should have been took. So I said no more. For agin the remark of that + little bad boy came up in my mind and restrained me from sayin' any more. + </p> + <p> + Truly, as the young male child observed, “it wuzn't my funeral.” + </p> + <p> + We went home almost immegiately afterwards, my heart nearly a-bleedin' for + the little children, poor little creeters, and Cephas actin' cold and + distant to the last And we hain't seen 'em sence. But news has come from + them, and come straight. Josiah heerd to Jonesville all about it. And + though it is hitchin' the democrat buggy on front of the mare—to + tell the end of the funeral here—yet I may as well tell it now and + be done with it. + </p> + <p> + The miller at Loontown wuz down to the Jonesville mill to get the loan of + some bags, and Josiah happened to be there to mill that day, and heerd all + about it. + </p> + <p> + Cephas had got the monument, and the ornaments on it cost fur more than he + expected. There wuz a wreath a-runnin' round it clear from the bottom to + the top, and verses a kinder runnin' up it at the same time. And it cost + fearful. Poetry a-runnin' up, they say, costs fur more than it duz on a + level. + </p> + <p> + Any way, the two thousand dollars that wuz insured on Wellington's life + wuzn't quite enough to pay for it. But the sale of his law library and the + best of the housen' stuff paid it. The nine hundred he left went, every + mite of it, to pay the funeral expenses and mournin' for the family. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="048.jpg (103K)" src="images/048.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And as bad luck always follers on in a procession, them mortgages of + Cephas'ses all run out sort o' together. His creditors sold him out, and + when his property wuz all disposed of it left him over fourteen hundred + dollars in debt. + </p> + <p> + The creditors acted perfectly greedy, so they say—took everything + they could; and one of the meanest ones took that insane bedquilt that I + finished. That <i>wuz</i> mean. They say Sally Ann crumpled right down + when that wuz took. Some say that they got hold of that tall weed of + Cephas'ses, and some dispute it; some say that he wore it on the last ride + he took in Loontown. + </p> + <p> + But, howsomever, Cephas wuz took sick, Sally Ann wuzn't able to do + anything for their support, S. Annie wuz took down with the typhus, and so + it happened the very day the monument wuz brought to the Loontown + cemetery, Cephas Bodley's folks wuz carried to the county house, S. Annie, + the children and all. + </p> + <p> + And it happened dretful curius, but the town hired that very team that + drawed the monument there, to take the family back. + </p> + <p> + It wuz a good team. + </p> + <p> + The monument wuzn't set up, for they lacked money to pay for the + underpinnin'! (Wuz n't it curius, Cephas Bodley never would think of the + underpinnin' to anything?) But it lay there by the side of the road, a + great white shape. + </p> + <p> + And they say the children wuz skairt, and cried when they went by it—cried + and wept. + </p> + <p> + But I believe it wuz because they wuz cold and hungry that made 'em cry. I + don't believe it wuz the monument. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c11" id="c11"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="049c11.jpg (96K)" src="images/049c11.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XI. + </p> + <p> + A few days follerin' on and ensuin' after this eppisode, Submit Tewksburv + wuz a takin' supper with me. She had come home with me from the meetin' + house where we had been to work all day. + </p> + <p> + I had urged her to stay, for she lived a mile further on the road, and had + got to walk home afoot. + </p> + <p> + And she hain't any too well off, Submit hain't—she has to work hard + for every mite of food she eats, and clothes she wears, and fuel and + lights, etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + So I keep her to dinners and suppers all I can, specially when we are + engaged in meetin' house work, for as poor as Submit is, she will insist + on doin' for the meetin' house jest as much as any other female woman in + Jonesville. + </p> + <p> + She is quite small boneded, and middlin' good lookin' for a women of her + years. She has got big dark eyes, very soft and mellow lookin' in + expression—and a look deep down into 'em, as if she had been waitin' + for something, for some time. Her hair is gettin' quite gray now, but its + original color was auburn, and she has got quite a lot of it—kinder + crinkly round her forward. Her complexion is pale. She is a very good + lookin' woman yet, might marry any day of the week now, I hain't no doubt + of it. She is a single woman, but is well thought on in Jonesville, and + the southern part of Zoar, where she has relatives on her mother's side. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="050.jpg (60K)" src="images/050.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + She has had chances to my certain knowledge (widowers and such). + </p> + <p> + But if all the men in the world should come and stand in rows in front of + her gate with gilded crowns in their hands all ready to crown her, and + septers all ready for her to grasp holt of, and wield over the world, she + would refuse every one of 'em. + </p> + <p> + She has had a disappointment, Submit has. And she looked at the world so + long through tears, that the world got to lookin' sort o' dim like and + shadowy to her, and the whole men race looked to her fur off and misty, as + folks will when you look at 'em through a rain. + </p> + <p> + She couldn't marry one of them shadows of men, if she tried, and she + hain't never tried. No, her heart always has been, and is now, fur away, + a-travellin' through unknown regions, unknown, and yet more real to her + than Jonesville or Zoar, a-follerin' the one man in the world who is a + reality to her. Submit wuz engaged to a young Methodist minister by the + name of Samuel Danker. I remember him well. A good lookin' young fellow at + the time, with blue eyes and light hair, ruther long and curly, and kinder + wavin' back from his forward, and a deep spiritual look in his eyes. In + fact, his eyes looked right through the fashions and follys of the + civilized world, into the depths of ignorance, rivers of ruin and despair, + that wuz a-washin' over a human race, black jungles where naked sin and + natural depravities crouched hungry for victims. + </p> + <p> + Samuel Danker felt that he had got to go into heathen lands as a + missionary. He wuz engaged to Submit, and loved her dearly, and he urged + her to go too. + </p> + <p> + But Submit had a invalid father on her hands, a bed rid grandfather, and + three young brothers, too young to earn a thing, and they all on 'em + together hadn't a cent of money to their names. They had twenty-five acres + of middlin' poor land, and a old house. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Submit felt that she couldn't leave these helpless ones and go to + more foreign heathen lands. So, with a achin' heart, she let Samuel Danker + go from her, for he felt a call, loud, and she couldn't counsel him to + shet up his ears, or put cotton into 'em. Submit Tewksbury had always + loved and worked for the Methodist meetin' house (she jined it on + probation when she wuz thirteen). But although she always had been + extremely liberal in givin', and had made a practice of contributin' every + cent she could spare to the meetin' house, it wuz spozed that Samuel + Danker wuz the biggest offerin' she had ever give to it. + </p> + <p> + Fur it wuz known that he went to her the night before he sot sail, took + supper with her, and told her she should decide the matter for him, + whether he went or whether he staid. + </p> + <p> + It wuz spozed his love for Submit wuz so great that it made him waver when + the time come that he must leave her to her lot of toil and sacrifice and + loneliness. + </p> + <p> + But Submit loved the Methodist meetin' house to that extent, she leaned so + hard on the arm of Duty, that she nerved up her courage anew, refused to + accept the sacrifice of his renunciation, bid him go to his great work, + and quit himself like a man—told him she would always love him, pray + for him, be constant to him. And she felt that the Master they both wanted + to serve would some day bring him back to her. + </p> + <p> + So he sailed away to his heathens—and Submit stayed to home with her + five helpless males and her achin' heart. And if I had to tell which made + her the most trouble, I couldn't to save my life. + </p> + <p> + She knew the secret of her achin' heart, and the long dark nights she kep + awake with it. The neighbors couldn't understand that exactly, for there + hain't no language been discovered yet that will give voice to the silent + crys of a breakin' heart, a tender heart, a constant heart, cryin' out + acrost the grayness of dreary days acrost the blackness of lonely nights. + </p> + <p> + But we could see her troubles with the peevish paralasys of age, with the + tremendus follys of undisciplined youth. + </p> + <p> + But Submit took care of the hull caboodle of 'em; worked out some by days' + works, to get more necessaries for 'em than the poor little farm would + bring in; nursed the sick on their sick-beds and on their death-beds, till + she see 'em into Heaven—or that is where we spoze they went to, + bein' deservin' old males both on 'em, her father and her grandfather, and + in full connectin with the Methodist Episcopel meetin' house. + </p> + <p> + She took care of her young brothers, patient with 'em always, ready to + mend bad rents in their clothin' and their behavior—tryin' to prop + up their habits and their morals, givin' 'em all the schoolin' she could, + givin' 'em all a good trade, all but the youngest, him she kep with her + always till the Lord took him (scarlet fever), took him to learn the + mysterius trade of the immortals. + </p> + <p> + Submit had a hard fit of sickness after that. And when she got up agin, + there wuz round her pale forward a good many white hairs that wuz orburn + before the little boy went away from her. + </p> + <p> + Sense that, the other boys have married, and Submit has lived alone in the + old farm-house, lettin' the farm out on shares. It is all run down; she + don't get much from it; it don't yield much but trouble and burdocks, but + as little as she gets, she always will, as I say, do her full share, and + more than her share, for the meetin' house. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="051.jpg (129K)" src="images/051.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Some think it is on account of her inherient goodness, and some think it + is on account of Samuel Danker. + </p> + <p> + We all spose she hain't forgot Samuel. And they do say that every year + when the day comes round, that he took supper with her for the last time, + she puts a plate on for him—the very one he eat on last—-a + pink edged chiny plate, with gilt sprigs, the last one left of her + mother's first set of chiny. + </p> + <p> + That is what they <i>say</i>, I hain't never seen the plate. + </p> + <p> + It is now about twenty years sense Samuel Danker went to heathen lands. + And as it wuz a man-eatin' tribe he went to preach to, and as he hain't + been heern of from that day to this, it is spozed that they eat him up + some years ago. + </p> + <p> + But it is thought that Submit hain't gin up hope yet. We spoze so, but + don't know, on account of her never sayin' anything on the subject. But we + judge from the plate. + </p> + <p> + Wall, as I say (and I have episoded fearfully, fearfully), Submit took + supper with me that night. And after Josiah had put out his horse (he had + been to Jonesville for the evenin' mail, and stopped for us at the meetin' + house on his way back), he took the <i>World</i> out of his pocket, and + perused it for some time, and from that learned the great news that wimmen + wuz jest about to be held up agin, to see if her strength wuz sufficient + to set on the Conference. + </p> + <p> + And oh! how Josiah Allen went on about it to Submit and me, all the while + we wuz a eatin' supper—and for more'n a hour afterwuds. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c12" id="c12"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="052c12.jpg (107K)" src="images/052c12.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XII. + </p> + <p> + Submit wuz very skairt to heern him go on (she felt more nervous on + account of an extra hard day's work), and I myself wuz beat out, but I + wuzn't afraid at all of him, though he did go on elegant, and dretful + empressive and even skairful. + </p> + <p> + He stood up on the same old ground that men have always stood up on, the + ground of man's great strength and capability, and wimmen's utter + weakness, helplessness, and incapacity. Josiah enlarged almost wildly on + the subject of how high, how inaccessibley lofty the Conference wuz, and + the utter impossibility of a weak, helpless, fragaile bein' like a women + ever gettin' up on it, much less settin' on it. And then, oh how vividly + he depictered it, how he and every other male Methodist in the land loved + wimmen too well, worshipped 'em too deeply to put such a wearin' job onto + 'em. Oh how Josiah Allen soared up in eloquence. Submit shed tears, or, + that is, I thought she did—I see her wipe her eyes any way. Some + think that about the time the Samuel Danker anniversary comes round, she + is more nervous and deprested. It wuz very near now, and take that with + her hard work that day, it accounts some for her extra depression—though, + without any doubt, it wuz Josiah's talk that started the tears. + </p> + <p> + I couldn't bear to see Submit look so mournful and deprested, and so, + though I wuz that tired myself that I could hardly hold my head up, yet I + did take my bits in my teeth, as you may say, and asked him— + </p> + <p> + What the awful hard job wuz that he and other men wuz so anxus to ward + offen wimmen. + </p> + <p> + And he sez, “Why, a settin' on the Conference.” + </p> + <p> + And I sez, “I don't believe that is such a awful hard job to tackle.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, indeed, it is,” sez Josiah in his most skairful axent, “yes, it is.” + </p> + <p> + And he shook his head meenin'ly and impressively, and looked at me and + Submit in as mysterius and strange a way, es I have ever been looked at in + my life, and I have had dretful curius looks cast onto me, from first to + last. And he sez in them deep impressive axents of hisen, + </p> + <p> + “You jest try it once, and see—I have sot on it, and I know.” + </p> + <p> + Josiah wuz sent once as a delegate to the Methodist Conference, so I + spozed he did know. + </p> + <p> + But I sez, “Why you come home the second day when you sot as happy as a + king, and you told me how you had rested off durin' the two days, and how + you had visited round at Uncle Jenkins'es, and Cousin Henn's, and you said + that you never had had such a good time in your hull life, as you did when + you wuz a settin'. You looked as happy as a king, and acted so.” + </p> + <p> + Josiah looked dumbfounded for most a quarter of a minute. For he knew my + words wuz as true es anything ever sot down in Matthew, Mark, or Luke, or + any of the other old patriarks. He knew it wuz Gospel truth, that he had + boasted of his good times a settin', and as I say for nearly a quarter of + a minute he showed plain signs of mortification. + </p> + <p> + But almost imegietly he recovered himself, and went on with the doggy + obstinacy of his sect: “Oh, wall! Men can tackle hard jobs, and get some + enjoyment out of it too, when it is in the line of duty. One thing that + boys em' up, and makes em' happy, is the thought that they are a keepin' + trouble and care offen wimmen. That is a sweet thought to men, and always + wuz. And there wuz great strains put onto our minds, us men that sot, that + wimmen couldn't be expected to grapple with, and hadn't ort to try to. It + wuz a great strain onto us.” + </p> + <p> + “What was the nater of the strain?” sez I. “I didn't know as you did a + thing only sot still there and go to sleep. <i>You</i> wuz fast asleep + there most the hull of the time, for it come straight to me from them that + know. And all that Deacon Bobbet did who went with you wuz to hold up his + hand two or three times a votin'. I shouldn't think that wuz so awful + wearin'.” + </p> + <p> + And agin I sez, “What wuz the strain?” + </p> + <p> + But Josiah didn't answer, for that very minute he remembered a pressin' + engagement he had about borrowin' a plow. He said he had got to go up to + Joe Charnick's to get his plow. (I don't believe he wanted a plow that + time of night.) But he hurried away from the spot. And soon after Submit + went home lookin' more deprested and down-casted than ever. + </p> + <p> + And Josiah Allen didn't get home till <i>late</i> at night. I dare persume + to say it wuz as late as a quarter to nine when that man got back to the + bosom of his family. + </p> + <p> + And I sot there all alone, and a-meditatin' on things, and a-wonderin' + what under the sun he wuz a-traipsin up to Joe Charnick's for at that time + of night, and a-worryin' some for fear he wuz a-keepin' Miss Charnick up, + and a-spozin' in my mind what Miss Charnick would do, to get along with + the meetin' house, and the Conference question, if she wuz a member. (She + is a <i>very</i> sensible woman, Jenette Charnick is, <i>very</i>, and a + great favorite with me, and others.) + </p> + <p> + And I got to thinkin' how prosperus and happy she is now, and how much she + had went through. And I declare the hull thing come back to me, all the + strange and curius circumstances connected with her courtship and + marriage, and I thought it all out agin, the hull story, from beginnin' to + end. + </p> + <p> + The way it begun wuz—and the way Josiah Allen and me come to have + any connectin with the story wuz as follers: + </p> + <p> + Some time ago, and previus, we had a widder come to stay with us a spell, + she that wuz Tamer Shelmadine, Miss Trueman Pool that now is. + </p> + <p> + Her husband died several years ago, and left her not over and above well + off. And so she goes round a-visitin', and has went ever sense his death. + And finds sights of faults with things wherever she is, sights of it. + </p> + <p> + Trueman wuz Josiah's cousin, on his own side, and I always made a practice + of usin' her quite well. She used to live neighbor to me before I wuz + married, and she come and stayed nine weeks. + </p> + <p> + She is a tall spindlin' woman, a Second Adventist by perswasion, and + weighs about ninety-nine pounds. + </p> + <p> + Wall, as I say, she means middlin' well, and would be quite agreeable if + it wuzn't for a habit she has of thinkin' what she duz is a leetle better + than anybody else can do, and wantin' to tell a leetle better story than + anybody else can. + </p> + <p> + Now she thinks she looks better than I do. But Josiah sez she can't begin + with me for looks, and I don't spoze she can, though of course it hain't + to be expected that I would want it told of that I said so. No, I wouldn't + want it told of pro or con, especially con. But I know Josiah Allen has + always been called a pretty good judge of wimmen's looks. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="053.jpg (41K)" src="images/053.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And now she thinks she can set hens better than I can—and make + better riz biscuit. She jest the same as told me so. Any way, the first + time I baked bread after she got here, she looked down on my loaves real + haughty, yet with a pityin' look, and sez: + </p> + <p> + “It is very good for yeast, but I always use milk emptin's.” + </p> + <p> + And she kinder tested her head, and sort o' swept out of the room, not + with a broom, no, she would scorn to sweep out a room with a broom or help + me in any way, but she sort o' swept it out with her mean. But I didn't + care, I knew my bread wuz good. + </p> + <p> + Now if anybody is sick, she will always tell of times when she has been + sicker. She boasts of layin' three nights and two days in a fit. But we + don't believe it, Josiah and me don't. That is, we don't believe she lay + there so long, a-runnin'. + </p> + <p> + We believe she come out of 'em occasionally. + </p> + <p> + But you couldn't get her to give off a hour or a minute of the time. Three + nights and two days she lay there a-runnin', so she sez, and she has said + it so long, that we spoze, Josiah and me do, that she believes it herself + now. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="c13" id="c13"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="054c13.jpg (97K)" src="images/054c13.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XIII. + </p> + <p> + Curius, hain't it? How folks will get to tellin' things, and finally tell + 'em so much, that finally they will get to believin' of 'em themselves—boastin' + of bein' rich, etc., or bad. Now I have seen folks boast over that, act + real haughty because they had been bad and got over it. I've seen + temperance lecturers and religious exhorters boast sights and sights over + how bad they had been. But they wuzn't tellin' the truth, though they had + told the same thing so much that probable they had got to thinkin' so. + </p> + <p> + But in the case of one man in petickuler, I found out for myself, for I + didn't believe what he wuz a sayin' any of the time. + </p> + <p> + Why, he made out in evenin' meetin's, protracted and otherwise, that he + had been a awful villain. Why no pirate wuz ever wickeder than he made + himself out to be, in the old times before he turned round and become + pious. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="055.jpg (49K)" src="images/055.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + But I didn't believe it, for he had a good look to his face, all but the + high headed look he had, and sort o' vain. + </p> + <p> + But except this one look, his face wuz a good moral face, and I knew that + no man could cut up and act as he claimed that he had, without carryin' + some marks on the face of the cuttin' up, and also of the actin'. + </p> + <p> + And so, as it happened, I went a visitin' (to Josiah's relations) to the + very place where he had claimed to do his deeds of wild badness, and I + found that he had always been a pattern man—never had done a single + mean act, so fur as wuz known. + </p> + <p> + Where wuz his boastin' then? As the Bible sez, why, it wuz all vain talk. + He had done it to get up a reputation. He had done it because he wuz big + feelin' and vain. And he had got so haughty over it, and had told of it so + much, that I spoze he believed in it himself. + </p> + <p> + Curius! hain't it? But I am a eppisodin', and to resoom. Trueman's wife + would talk jest so, jest so haughty and high headed, about the world + comin' to a end. + </p> + <p> + She'd dispute with everybody right up and down if they disagreed with her—and + specially about that religion of hern. How sot she wuz, how extremely sot. + </p> + <p> + But then, it hain't in me, nor never wuz, to fight anybody for any + petickuler religion of theirn. There is sights and sights of different + religions round amongst different friends of mine, and most all on 'em + quite good ones. + </p> + <p> + That is, they are agreeable to the ones who believe in 'em, and not over + and above disagreeable to me. + </p> + <p> + Now it seems to me that in most all of these different doctrines and + beliefs, there is a grain of truth, and if folks would only kinder hold + onto that grain, and hold themselves stiddy while they held onto it, they + would be better off. + </p> + <p> + But most folks when they go to follerin' off a doctrine, they foller too + fur, they hain't megum enough. + </p> + <p> + Now, for instance, when you go to work and whip anybody, or hang 'em, or + burn 'em up for not believin' as you do, that is goin' too fur. + </p> + <p> + It has been done though, time and agin, in the world's history, and mebby + will be agin. + </p> + <p> + But it hain't reasonable. Now what good will doctrines o' any kind do to + anybody after they are burnt up or choked to death? + </p> + <p> + You see such things hain't bein' megum. Because I can't believe jest as + somebody else duz, it hain't for me to pitch at 'em and burn 'em up, or + even whip 'em. + </p> + <p> + No, indeed! And most probable if I should study faithfully out their + beliefs, I would find one grain, or mebby a grain and a half of real truth + in it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="056.jpg (54K)" src="images/056.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Now, for instance, take the doctrines of Christian Healin', or Mind Cure. + Now I can't exactly believe that if I fell down and hurt my head on a stun—I + cannot believe as I am a layin' there, that I hain't fell, and there + hain't no stun—and while I am a groanin' and a bathin' the achin' + bruise in anarky and wormwood, I can't believe that there hain't no such + thing as pain, nor never wuz. + </p> + <p> + No, I can't believe this with the present light I have got on the subject. + </p> + <p> + But yet, I have seen them that this mind cure religion had fairly riz + right up, and made 'em nigher to heaven every way—so nigh to it that + seemin'ly a light out of some of its winders had lit up their faces with + its glowin' repose, its sweet rapture. + </p> + <p> + I've seen 'em, seen 'em as the Patent Medicine Maker observes so + frequently, “before and after takin'.” + </p> + <p> + Folks that wuz despondent and hopeless, and wretched actin', why, this + belief made 'em jest blossom right out into a state of hopefulness, and + calmness, and joy—refreshin' indeed to contemplate. + </p> + <p> + Wall now, the idee of whippin' anybody for believin' anything that brings + such a good change to 'em, and fills them and them round 'em with so much + peace and happiness. + </p> + <p> + Why, I wouldn't do it for a dollar bill. And as for hangin' 'em, and + brilin' 'em on gridirons, etc., why, that is entirely out of the question, + or ort to be. + </p> + <p> + And now, it don't seem to me that I ever could make a tree walk off, by + lookin' at it, and commandin' it to—or call some posys to fall down + into my lap, right through, the plasterin'— + </p> + <p> + Or send myself, or one of myselfs, off to Injy, while the other one of me + stayed to Jonesville. + </p> + <p> + Now, honestly speakin', it don't seem to me that I ever could learn to do + this, not at my age, any way, and most dead with rheumatiz a good deal of + the time. + </p> + <p> + I most know I couldn't. + </p> + <p> + But then agin I have seen believers in Theosiphy that could do wonders, + and seemed indeed to have got marvelous control over the forces of Natur. + </p> + <p> + And now the idee of my whippin' 'em for it. Why you wouldn't ketch me at + it. + </p> + <p> + And Spiritualism now! I spoze, and I about know that there are lots of + folks that won't ever see into any other world than this, till the breath + leaves their body. + </p> + <p> + Yet i've seen them, pure sweet souls too, as I ever see, whose eyes beheld + blessed visions withheld from more material gaze. + </p> + <p> + Yes, i've neighbored with about all sorts of religius believers, and never + disputed that they had a right to their own religion. + </p> + <p> + And I've seen them too that didn't make a practice of goin' to any meetin' + houses much, who lived so near to God and his angels that they felt the + touch of angel hands on their forwards every day of their lives, and you + could see the glow of the Fairer Land in their rapt eyes. + </p> + <p> + They had outgrown the outward forms of religion that had helped them at + first, jest as children outgrow the primers and ABC books of their + childhood and advance into the higher learnin'. + </p> + <p> + I've seen them folks i've neighbored with 'em. Human faults they had, or + God would have taken them to His own land before now. Their imperfections, + I spoze sort o' anchored 'em here for a spell to a imperfect world. + </p> + <p> + But you could see, if you got nigh enough to their souls to see anything + about 'em—you could see that the anchor chains wuz slight after all, + and when they wuz broke, oh how lightly and easily they would sail away, + away to the land that their rapt souls inhabited even now. + </p> + <p> + Yes, I've seen all sorts of religius believers and I wuzn't goin' to be + too hard on Tamer for her belief, though I couldn't believe as she did. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c14" id="c14"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="057c14.jpg (97K)" src="images/057c14.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XIV. + </p> + <p> + He come to our house a visitin' along the first week in June, and the last + day in June wuz the day they had sot for the world to come to an end. I, + myself, didn't believe she knew positive about it, and Josiah didn't + either. And I sez to her, “The Bible sez that it hain't agoin' to be + revealed to angels even, or to the Son himself, but only to the Father + when that great day shall be.” And sez I to Trueman's wife, sez I, “How + should <i>you</i> be expected to know it?” + </p> + <p> + Sez she, with that same collected together haughty look to her, “My name + wuzn't mentioned, I believe, amongst them that <i>wuzn't</i> to know it!” + </p> + <p> + And of course I had to own up that it wuzn't. But good land! I didn't + believe she knew a thing more about it than I did, but I didn't dispute + with her much, because she wuz one of the relatives on his side—you + know you have to do different with 'em than you do with them on your own + side—you have to. And then agin, I felt that if it didn't come to an + end she would be convinced that she wuz in the wrong on't, and if she did + we should both of us be pretty apt to know it, so there wuzn't much use in + disputin' back and forth. + </p> + <p> + But she wuz firm as iron in her belief. And she had come up visitin' to + our home, so's to be nigh when Trueman riz. Trueman wuz buried in the old + Risley deestrict, not half a mile from us on a back road. And she + naterally wanted to be round at the time. + </p> + <p> + She said plain to me that Trueman never could seem to get along without + her. And though she didn't say it right out, she carried the idea (and + Josiah resented it because Trueman was a favorite cousin of his'n on his + own side.) She jest the same as said right out that Trueman, if she wuzn't + by him to tend to him, would be jest as apt to come up wrong end up as any + way. + </p> + <p> + Josiah didn't like it at all. + </p> + <p> + Wall, she had lived a widowed life for a number of years, and had said + right out, time and time agin, that she wouldn't marry agin. But Josiah + thought, and I kinder mistrusted myself, that she wuz kinder on the + lookout, and would marry agin if she got a chance—not fierce, you + know, or anything of that kind, but kinder quietly lookin' out and + standin' ready. That wuz when she first come; but before she went away she + acted fierce. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="058.jpg (60K)" src="images/058.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Wall, there wuz sights of Adventists up in the Risley deestrict, and + amongst the rest wuz an old bachelder, Joe Charnick. + </p> + <p> + And Joe Charnick wuz, I s'poze, of all Advents, the most Adventy. He jest + <i>knew</i> the world wuz a comin' to a end that very day, the last day of + June, at four o'clock in the afternoon. And he got his robe all made to go + up in. It wuz made of a white book muslin, and Jenette Finster made it. + Cut it out by one of his mother's nightgowns—so she told me in + confidence, and of course I tell it jest the same; I want it kep. + </p> + <p> + She was afraid Joe wouldn't like it, if he knew she took the nightgown for + a guide, wantin' it, as he did, for a religious purpose. + </p> + <p> + But, good land! as I told her, religion or not, anybody couldn't cut + anything to look anyhow without sumpthin' fora guide, and she bein' an old + maiden felt a little delicate about measurin' him. + </p> + <p> + His mother wuz as big round as he wuz, her weight bein' 230 by the + steelyards, and she allowed 2 fingers and a half extra length—Joe is + tall. She gathered it in full round the neck, and the sleeves (at his + request) hung down like wings, a breadth for each wing wuz what she + allowed. Jenette owned up to me (though she wouldn't want it told of for + the world, for it had been sposed for years, that he and she had a likin' + for each other, and mebby would make a match some time, though what they + had been a-waitin' for for the last 10 years nobody knew). But she allowed + to me that when he got his robe on, he wuz the worst lookin' human bein' + that she ever laid eyes on, and sez she, for she likes a joke, Jenette + duz: “I should think if Joe looked in the glass after he got it on, his + religion would be a comfort to him; I should think he would be glad the + world <i>wuz</i> comin' to a end.” + </p> + <p> + But he <i>didn't</i> look at the glass, Jenette said he didn't; he wanted + to see if it wuz the right size round the neck. Joe hain't handsome, but + he is kinder good-lookin', and he is a good feller and got plenty to do + with, but bein' kinder big-featured, and tall, and hefty, he must have + looked like fury in the robe. But he is liked by everybody, and everybody + is glad to see him so prosperous and well off. + </p> + <p> + He has got 300 acres of good land, “be it more or less,” as the deed + reads; 30 head of cows, and 7 head of horses (and the hull bodies of 'em). + And a big sugar bush, over 1100 trees, and a nice little sugar house way + up on a pretty side hill amongst the maple trees. A good, big, handsome + dwellin' house, a sort of cream color, with green blinds; big barn, and + carriage house, etc., etc., and everything in the very best of order. He + is a pattern farmer and a pattern son—yes, Joe couldn't be a more + pattern son if he acted every day from a pattern. + </p> + <p> + He treats his mother dretful pretty, from day to day. She thinks that + there hain't nobody like Joe; and it wuz s'pozed that Jenette thought so + too. + </p> + <p> + But Jenette is, and always wuz, runnin' over with common sense, and she + always made fun and laughed at Joe when he got to talkin' about his + religion, and about settin' a time for the world to come to a end. And + some thought that that wuz one reason why the match didn't go off, for Joe + likes her, everybody could see that, for he wuz jest such a great, honest, + open-hearted feller, that he never made any secret of it. And Jenette + liked Joe <i>I</i> knew, though she fooled a good many on the subject. But + she wuz always a great case to confide in me, and though she didn't say so + right out, which wouldn't have been her way, for, as the poet sez, she + wuzn't one “to wear her heart on the sleeves of her bask waist,” still, I + knew as well es I wanted to, that she thought her eyes of him. And old + Miss Charnick jest about worshipped Jenette, would have her with her, + sewin' for her, and takin' care of her—she wuz sick a good deal, + Mother Charnick wuz. And she would have been tickled most to death to have + had Joe marry her and bring her right home there. + </p> + <p> + And Jenette wuz a smart little creeter, “smart as lightnin',” as Josiah + always said. + </p> + <p> + She had got along in years, Jenette had, without marryin', for she staid + to hum and took care of her old father and mother and Tom. The other girls + married off, and left her to hum, and she had chances, so it wuz said, + good ones, but she wouldn't leave her father and mother, who wuz gettin' + old, and kinder bed-rid, and needed her. Her father, specially, said he + couldn't live, and wouldn't try to, if Jenette left 'em, but he said, the + old gentleman did, that Jenette should be richly paid for her goodness to + 'em. + </p> + <p> + That wuzn't what made Jenette good, no, indeed; she did it out of the pure + tenderness and sweetness of her nature and lovin'heart. But I used to love + to hear the old gentleman talk that way, for he wuz well off, and I felt + that so far as money could pay for the hull devotion of a life, why, + Jenette would be looked out for, and have a good home, and enough to do + with. So she staid to hum, as I say, and took care of'em night and day; + sights of watching and wearisome care she had, poor little creeter; but + she took the best of care of 'em, and kep 'em kinder comforted up, and + clean, and brought up Tom, the youngest boy, by hand, and thought her eyes + on him. + </p> + <p> + And he wuz a smart chap—awful smart, as it proved in the end; for he + married when he wuz 21, and brought his wife (a disagreeable creeter) home + to the old homestead, and Jenette, before they had been there 2 weeks, wuz + made to feel that her room wuz better than her company. + </p> + <p> + That wuz the year the old gentleman died; her mother had died 3 months + prior and beforehand. + </p> + <p> + Her brother, as I said, wur smart, and he and his wife got round the old + man in some way and sot him against Jenette, and got everything he had. + </p> + <p> + He wuz childish, the old man wuz; used to try to put his pantaloons on + over his head, and get his feet into his coat sleeves, etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + And he changed his will, that had gi'n Jenette half the property, a good + property, too, and gi'n it all to Tom, every mite of it, all but one + dollar, which Jenette never took by my advice. + </p> + <p> + For I wuz burnin' indignant at old Mr. Finster and at Tom. Curius, to + think such a girl as Jenette had been—such a patient, good creeter, + and such a good-tempered one, and everything—to think her pa should + have forgot all she had done, and suffered, and gi'n up for 'em, and give + the property all to that boy, who had never done anything only to spend + their money and make Jenette trouble. + </p> + <p> + But then, I s'poze it wuz old Mr. Finster's mind, or the lack on't, and I + had to stand it, likewise so did Jenette. + </p> + <p> + But I never sot a foot into Tom Finster's house, not a foot after that day + that Jenette left it. I wouldn't. But I took her right to my house, and + kep her for 9 weeks right along, and wuz glad to. + </p> + <p> + That wuz some 10 years prior and before this, and she had gone round + sewin' ever sense. And she wuz beloved by everybody, and had gone round + highly respected, and at seventy-five cents a day. + </p> + <p> + Her troubles, and everybody that knew her, knew how many she had of 'em, + but she kep 'em all to herself, and met the world and her neighbors with a + bright face. + </p> + <p> + If she took her skeletons out of the closet to air 'em, and I s'poze she + did, everybody duz; they have to at times, to see if their bones are in + good order, if for nothin' else. But if she ever did take 'em out and dust + 'em, she did it all by herself. The closet door wuz shet up and locked + when anybody wuz round. And you would think, by her bright, laughin' face, + that she never heard the word skeleton, or ever listened to the rattle of + a bone. + </p> + <p> + And she kep up such a happy, cheerful look on the outside, that I s'poze + it ended by her bein' cheerful and happy on the inside. + </p> + <p> + The stiddy, good-natured, happy spirit that she cultivated at first by + hard work, so I s'poze; but at last it got to be second nater, the + qualities kinder struck in and she <i>wuz</i> happy, and she <i>wuz</i> + contented—that is, I s'poze so. + </p> + <p> + Though I, who knew Jenette better than anybody else, almost, knew how + tuff, how fearful tuff it must have come on her, to go round from home to + home—not bein' settled down at home anywhere. I knew jest what a + lovin' little home body she wuz. And how her sweet nater, like the sun, + would love to light up one bright lovin' home, and shine kinder stiddy + there, instead of glancin' and changin' about from one place to another, + like a meteor. + </p> + <p> + Some would have liked it; some like change and constant goin' about, and + movin' constantly through space—but I knew Jenette wuzn't made on + the meteor plan. I felt sorry for Jenette, down deep in my heart, I did; + but I didn't tell her so; no, she wouldn't have liked it; she kep a brave + face to the world. And as I said, her comin' wuz looked for weeks and + weeks ahead, in any home where she wuz engaged to sew by the day. + </p> + <p> + Everybody in the house used to feel the presence of a sunshiny, cheerful + spirit. One that wuz determined to turn her back onto troubles she + couldn't help and keep her face sot towards the Sun of Happiness. One who + felt good and pleasant towards everybody, wished everybody well. One who + could look upon other folks'es good fortune without a mite of jealousy or + spite. One who loved to hear her friends praised and admired, loved to see + 'em happy. And if they had a hundred times the good things she had, why, + she was glad for their sakes, that they had 'em, she loved to see 'em + enjoy 'em, if she couldn't. + </p> + <p> + And she wuz dretful kinder cunnin' and cute, Jenette wuz. She would make + the oddest little speeches; keep everybody laughin' round her, when she + got to goin'. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="059.jpg (53K)" src="images/059.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Yes, she wuz liked dretful well, Jenette wuz. Her face has a kind of a + pert look on to it, her black eyes snap, a good-natured snap, though, and + her nose turns up jest enough to look kinder cunnin', and her hair curls + all over her head. + </p> + <p> + Smart round the house she is, and Mother Charnick likes that, for she is a + master good housekeeper. Smart to answer back and joke. Joe is slow of + speech, and his big blue eyes won't fairly get sot onto anything, before + Jenette has looked it all through, and turned it over, and examined it on + the other side, and got through with it. + </p> + <p> + Wall, she wuz to work to Mother Charnick's makin' her a black alpacka + dress, and four new calico ones, and coverin' a parasol. + </p> + <p> + A good many said that Miss Charnick got dresses a purpose for Jenette to + make, so's to keep her there. Jenette wouldn't stay there a minute only + when she wuz to work, and as they always kep a good, strong, hired girl, + she knew when she wuz needed, and when she wuzn't. But, of course, she + couldn't refuse to sew for her, and at what she wuz sot at, though she + must have known and felt that Miss Charnick wuz lavish in dresses. She had + 42 calico dresses, and everybody knew it, new ones, besides woosted. But, + anyway, there she was a sewin' when the word came that the world was a + comin' to a end on the 30th day of June, at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. + </p> + <p> + Miss Charnick wuz a believer, but not to the extent that Joe was. For + Jenette asked her if she should stop sewin', not sposin' that she would + need the dresses, specially the four calico ones, and the parasol in case + of the world's endin'. + </p> + <p> + And she told Jenette, and Jenette told me, so's I know it is true, “that + she might go right on, and get the parasol cover, and the trimmins to the + dresses, cambrick, and linin' and things, and hooks and eyes.” + </p> + <p> + And Miss Charnick didn't prepare no robe. But Jenette mistrusted, though + Miss Charnick is close-mouthed, and didn't say nothin', but Jenette + mistrusted that she laid out, when she sees signs, to use a nightgown. + </p> + <p> + She had piles of the nicest ones, that Jenette had made for her from time + to time, over 28, all trimmed off nice enough for day dresses, so Jenette + said, trimmed with tape trimmin's, some of 'em, and belted down in front. + </p> + <p> + Wall, they had lots of meetin's at the Risley school-house, as the time + drew near. And Miss Trueman Pool went to every one on 'em. + </p> + <p> + She had been too weak to go out to the well, or to the barn. She wanted + dretfully to see some new stanchils that Josiah had been a makin', jest + like some that Pool had had in his barn. She wanted to see 'em dretful, + but was too weak to walk. And I had had kind of a tussle in my own mind, + whether or not I should offer to let Josiah carry her out; but kinder + hesitated, thinkin' mebby she would get stronger. + </p> + <p> + But I hain't jealous, not a mite. It is known that I hain't all through + Jonesville and Loontown. No, I'd scorn it. I thought Pool's wife would get + better and she did. + </p> + <p> + One evenin' Joe Charnick came down to bring home Josiah's augur, and the + conversation turned onto Adventin'. And Miss Pool see that Joe wuz + congenial on that subject; he believed jest as she did, that the world + would come to an end the 30th. This was along the first part of the month. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="060.jpg (152K)" src="images/060.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + He spoke of the good meetin's they wuz a-havin' to the Risley + school-house, and how he always attended to every one on 'em. And the next + mornin' Miss Trueman Pool gin out that she wuz a-goin' that evenin'. It + wuz a good half a mile away, and I reminded her that Josiah had to be away + with the team, for he wuz a-goin' to Loontown, heavy loaded, and wouldn't + get back till along in the evenin'. + </p> + <p> + But she said “that she felt that the walk would do her good.” + </p> + <p> + I then reminded her of the stanchils, but she said “stanchils and religion + wuz two separate things.” Which I couldn't deny, and didn't try to. And + she sot off for the school-house that evenin' a-walkin' a foot. And the + rest of her adventins and the adventins of Joe I will relate in another + epistol; and I will also tell whether the world come to an end or not. I + know folks will want to know, and I don't love to keep folks in onxiety—it + hain't my way. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c15" id="c15"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="061c15.jpg (104K)" src="images/061c15.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XV. + </p> + <p> + Wall, from that night, Miss Trueman Pool attended to the meetins at the + Risley school-house, stiddy and constant. And before the week wuz out Joe + Charnick had walked home with her twice. And the next week he carried her + to Jonesville to get the cloth for her robe, jest like his'n, white book + muslin. And twice he had come to consult her on a Bible passage, and twice + she had walked up to his mother's to consult with her on a passage in the + Apockraphy. And once she went up to see if her wings wuz es deep and full + es his'n. She wanted 'em jest the same size. + </p> + <p> + Miss Charnick couldn't bear her. Miss Charnick wuz a woman who had enjoyed + considerble poor health in her life, and she had now, and had been havin' + for years, some dretful bad spells in her stomach—a sort of a + tightness acrost her chest. And Trueman's wife argued with her that her + spells had been worse, and her chest had been tighter. And the old lady + didn't like that at all, of course. And the old lady took thoroughwert for + 'em, and Trueman's wife insisted on't that thoroughwert wuz tightenin'. + </p> + <p> + And then there wuz some chickens in a basket out on the stoop, that the + old hen had deserted, and Miss Charnick wuz a bringin' 'em up by hand. And + Mother Chainick went out to feed 'em, and Trueman's wife tosted her head + and said, “she didn't approve of it—she thought a chicken ought to + be brung up by a hen.” + </p> + <p> + But Miss Charnick said, “Why, the hen deserted 'em; they would have + perished right there in the nest.” + </p> + <p> + But Trueman's wife wouldn't gin in, she stuck right to it, “that it wuz a + hen's business, and nobody else's.” + </p> + <p> + And of course she had some sense on her side, for of course it is a hen's + business, her duty and her prevelege to bring up her chickens. But if she + won't do it, why, then, somebody else has got to—they ought to be + brung. I say Mother Charnick wuz in the right on't. But Trueman's wife had + got so in the habit of findin' fault, and naggin' at me, and the other + relations on Trueman's side and hern, that she couldn't seem to stop it + when she knew it wuz for her interest to stop. + </p> + <p> + And then she ketched a sight of the alpacker dress Jenette wuz a-makin' + and she said “that basks had gone out.” + </p> + <p> + And Miss Charnick was over partial to 'em (most too partial, some + thought), and thought they wuz in the height of the fashion. But Trueman's + wife ground her right down on it. + </p> + <p> + “Basks <i>wuz out</i>, fer she knew it, she had all her new ones made + polenay.” + </p> + <p> + And hearin' 'em argue back and forth for more'n a quarter of an hour, + Jenette put in and sez (she thinks all the world of Mother Charnick), + “Wall, I s'pose you won't take much good of your polenays, if you have got + so little time to wear 'em.” + </p> + <p> + And then Trueman's wife (she wuz meen-dispositioned, anyway) said + somethin' about “hired girls keepin' their place.” + </p> + <p> + And then Mother Charnick flared right up and took Jenette's part. And + Joe's face got red; he couldn't bear to see Jenette put upon, if she wuz + makin' fun of his religeon. And Trueman's wife see that she had gone too + fur, and held herself in, and talked good to Jenette, and flattered up + Joe, and he went home with her and staid till ten o'clock. + </p> + <p> + They spent a good deal of their time a-huntin' up passages, to prove their + doctrine, in the Bible, and the Apockraphy, and Josephus, and others. + </p> + <p> + It beat all how many Trueman's wife would find, and every one she found + Joe would seem to think the more on her. And so it run along, till folks + said they wuz engaged, and Josiah and me thought so, too. + </p> + <p> + And though Jenette wuzn't the one to say anything, she begun to look + kinder pale and mauger. And when I spoke of it to her, she laid it to her + liver. And I let her believe I thought so too. And I even went so fur as + to recommend tansey and camomile tea, with a little catnip mixed in—I + did it fur blinders. I knew it wuzn't her liver that ailed her. I knew it + wuz her heart. I knew it wuz her heart that wuz a-achin'. + </p> + <p> + Wall, we had our troubles, Josiah and me did. Trueman's wife wuz dretful + disagreeable, and would argue us down, every separate thing we tried to do + or say. And she seemed more high-headed and disagreeable than ever sence + Joe had begun to pay attention to her. Though what earthly good his + attention wuz a-goin' to do, wuz more than I could see, accordin' to her + belief. + </p> + <p> + But Josiah said, “he guessed Joe wouldn't have paid her any attention, if + he hadn't thought that the world wuz a-comin' to a end so soon. He guessed + he wouldn't want her round if it wuz a-goin' to stand.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Josiah, you are a-judgin' Joe by yourself.” And he owned up that + he wuz. + </p> + <p> + Wall, the mornin' of the 30th, after Josiah and me had eat our breakfast, + I proceeded to mix up my bread. I had set the yeast overnight, and I wuz a + mouldin' it out into tins when Trueman's wife come down-stairs with her + robe over her arm. She wanted to iron it out and press the seams. + </p> + <p> + I had baked one tin of my biscuit for breakfast, and I had kep 'em warm + for Trueman's wife, for she had been out late the night before to a + meetin' to Risley school-house, and didn't come down to breakfast. I had + also kep some good coffee warm for her, and some toast and steak. + </p> + <p> + She laid her robe down over a chair-back, and sot down to her breakfast, + but begun the first thing to find fault with me for bein' to work on that + day. She sez, “The idee, of the last day of the world, and you a-bein' + found makin' riz biscuit, yeast ones!” sez she. + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I, “I don't know but I had jest as soon be found a-makin' riz + biscuit, a-takin' care of my own household, as the Lord hes commanded me + to, as to be found a-sailin' round in a book muslin Mother Hubbard.” + </p> + <p> + “It hain't a Mother Hubbard!” sez she. + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I, “I said it for oritory. But it is puckered up some like + them, and you know it.” Hers wuz made with a yoke. + </p> + <p> + And Josiah sot there a-fixin' his plantin' bag. He wuz a-goin' out that + mornin' to plant over some corn that the crows had pulled up. And she + bitterly reproved him. But he sez, “If the world don't come to a end, the + corn will be needed.” + </p> + <p> + “But it will,” she sez in a cold, haughty tone. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="062.jpg (158K)" src="images/062.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez he, “if it does, I may as well be a-doin' that as to be + settin' round.” And he took his plantin' bag and went out. And then she + jawed me for upholdin' him. + </p> + <p> + And sez she, as she broke open a biscuit and spread it with butter + previous to eatin' it, sez she, “I should think <i>respect</i>, respect + for the great and fearful thought of meetin' the Lord, would scare you out + of the idea of goin' on with your work.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I calmly, “Does it scare you, Trueman's wife?” + </p> + <p> + “Wall, not exactly scare,” sez she, “but lift up, lift up far above bread + and other kitchen work.” + </p> + <p> + And again she buttered a large slice, and I sez calmly, “I don't s'poze I + should be any nearer the Lord than I am now. He sez He dwells inside of + our hearts, and I don't see how He could get any nearer to us than that. + And anyway, what I said to you I keep a-sayin', that I think He would + approve of my goin' on calm and stiddy, a-doin' my best for the ones He + put in my charge here below, my husband, my children, and my + grandchildren.” (I some expected Tirzah Ann and the babe home that day to + dinner.) + </p> + <p> + “Wall, you feel very diffrent from some wimmen that wuz to the + school-house last night, and act very diffrent. They are good Christian + females. It is a pity you wuzn't there. P'raps your hard heart would have + melted, and you would have had thoughts this mornin' that would soar up + above riz biscuit.” + </p> + <p> + And as she sez this she begun on her third biscuit, and poured out another + cup of coffee. And I, wantin' to use her well, sez, “What did they do + there?” + </p> + <p> + “Do!” sez she, “why, it wuz the most glorious meetin' we ever had. Three + wimmen lay at one time perfectly speechless with the power. And some of + em' screemed so you could hear 'em fer half a mile.” + </p> + <p> + I kep on a-mouldin' my bread out into biscuit (good shaped ones, too, if I + do say it), and sez calmly, “Wall, I never wuz much of a screemer. I have + always believed in layin' holt of the duty next to you, and doin' <i>some</i> + things, things He has <i>commanded</i>. Everybody to their own way. I + don't condemn yourn, but I have always seemed to believe more in the + solid, practical parts of religion, than the ornimental. I have always + believed more in the power of honesty, truth, and justice, than in the + power they sometimes have at camp and other meetins. Howsumever,” sez I, + “I don't say but what that power is powerful, to the ones that have it, + only I wuz merely observin' that it never wuz <i>my</i> way to lay + speechless or holler much—not that I consider hollerin' wrong, if + you holler from principle, but I never seemed to have a call to.” + </p> + <p> + “You would be far better if you did,” sez Trueman's wife, “far better. But + you hain't good enough.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh!” sez I, reasonably, “I could holler if I wanted to, but the Lord + hain't deef. He sez specilly, that He hain't, and so I never could see the + <i>use</i> in hollerin' to Him. And I never could see the use of tellin' + Him in public so many things as some do. Why He <i>knows</i> it. He <i>knows</i> + all these things. He don't need to have you try to enlighten Him as if you + wuz His gardeen—as I have heard folks do time and time agin. He <i>knows</i> + what we are, what we need. I am glad, Trueman's wife,” sez I, “that He can + look right down into our hearts, that He is right there in 'em a-knowin' + all about us, all our wants, our joys, our despairs, our temptations, our + resolves, our weakness, our blindness, our defects, our regrets, our + remorse, our deepest hopes, our inspiration, our triumphs, our glorys. But + when He <i>is</i> right there, in the midst of our soul, our life, why, <i>why</i> + should we kneel down in public and holler at Him?” + </p> + <p> + “You would be glad to if you wuz good enough,” sez she; “if you had + attained unto a state of perfection, you would feel like it.” + </p> + <p> + That kinder riled me up, and I sez, “Wall, I have lived in this house with + them that wuz perfect, and that is bad enough for me, without bein' one of + 'em myself. For more disagreeable creeters,” sez I, a prickin' my biscuit + with a fork, “more disagreeable creeters I never laid eyes on.” + </p> + <p> + Trueman's wife thinks she is perfect, she has told me so time and agin—thinks + she hain't done anything wrong in upwards of a number of years. + </p> + <p> + But she didn't say nothin' to this, only begun agin about the wickedness + and immorality of my makin' riz biscuit that mornin', and the deep + disgrace of Josiah Allen keepin' on with his work. + </p> + <p> + But before I could speak up and take his part, for I <i>will</i> not hear + my companion found fault with by any female but myself, she had gathered + up her robe, and swept upstairs with it, leavin' orders for a flatiron to + be sent up. + </p> + <p> + Wall, the believers wuz all a-goin' to meet at the Risley school-house + that afternoon. They wuz about 40 of 'em, men and wimmen. And I told + Josiah at noon, I believed I would go down to the school-house to the + meetin'. And he a-feelin', I mistrust, that if they should happen to be in + the right on't, and the world should come to a end, he wanted to be by the + side of his beloved pardner, he offered to go too. But he never had no + robe, no, nor never thought of havin'. + </p> + <p> + The Risley school-house stood in a clearin', and had tall stumps round it + in the door-yard. And we had heard that some of the believers wuz goin' to + get up on them stumps, so's to start off from there. And sure enough, we + found it wuz the calculation of some on 'em. + </p> + <p> + The school-boys had made steps up the sides of some of the biggest stumps, + and lots of times in political meetin's men had riz up on 'em to talk to + the masses below. Why I s'poze a crowd of as many as 45 or 48, had + assembled there at one time durin' the heat of the campain. + </p> + <p> + But them politicians had on their usual run of clothes, they didn't have + on white book muslin robes. Good land! + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c16" id="c16"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="063c16.jpg (105K)" src="images/063c16.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XVI. + </p> + <p> + Wall, lots of folks had assembled to the school-house when we got there, + about 3 o'clock P.M.—afternoon. Believers, and world's people, all + a-settin' round on seats and stumps, for the school-house wuz small and + warm, and it wuz pleasanter out-doors. + </p> + <p> + We had only been there a few minutes when Mother Charnick and Jenette + walked in. Joe had been there for sometime, and he and the Widder Pool wuz + a-settin' together readin' a him out of one book. Jenette looked kinder + mauger, and Trueman's wife looked haughtily at her, from over the top of + the him book. + </p> + <p> + Mother Charnick had a woosted work-bag on her arm. There might have been a + night gown in it, and there might not. It wuz big enough to hold one, and + it looked sort o' bulgy. But it wuz never known—Miss Charnick is a + smart woman. It never wuz known what she had in the bag. + </p> + <p> + Wall, the believers struck up a him, and sung it through—as + mournful, skairful sort of a him as I ever hearn in my hull life; and it + swelled out and riz up over the pine trees in a wailin', melancholy sort + of a way, and wierd—dretful wierd. + </p> + <p> + And then a sort of a lurid, wild-looking chap, a minister, got up and + preached the wildest and luridest discourse I ever hearn in my hull days. + It wuz enough to scare a snipe. The very strongest and toughest men there + turned pale, and wimmen cried and wept on every side of me, and wept and + cried. + </p> + <p> + I, myself, didn't weep. But I drawed nearer to my companion, and kinder + leaned up against him, and looked off on the calm blue heavens, the serene + landscape, and the shinin' blue lake fur away, and thought—jest as + true as I live and breathe, I thought that I didn't care much, if God + willed it to be so, that my Josiah and I should go side by side, that very + day and minute, out of the certainties of this life into the mysteries of + the other, out of the mysteries of this life into the certainties of the + other. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="064.jpg (43K)" src="images/064.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + For, thinks I to myself, we have got to go into that other world pretty + soon, Josiah and me have. And if we went in the usual way, we had got to + go alone, each on us. Terrible thought! We who had been together under + shine and shade, in joy and sorrow. Our two hands that had joined at the + alter, and had clung so clost together ever sence, had got to leggo of + each other down there in front of the dark gateway. Solemn gateway! So big + that the hull world must pass through it—and yet so small that the + hull world has got to go through it alone, one at a time. + </p> + <p> + My Josiah would have to stand outside and let me go down under the dark, + mysterious arches, alone—and he knows jest how I hate to go anywhere + alone, or else I would have to stop at the gate and bid him good-by. And + no matter how much we knocked at the gate, or how many tears we shed onto + it, we couldn't get through till our time come, we had <i>got</i> to be + parted. + </p> + <p> + And now if we went on this clear June day through the crystal gateway of + the bendin' heavens—we two would be together for weal or for woe. + And on whatever new, strange landscape we would have to look on, or wander + through, he would be right by me. Whatever strange inhabitants the + celestial country held, he would face 'em with me. Close, close by my + side, he would go with me through that blue, lovely gateway of the soft + June skies into the City of the King. And it wuz a sweet thought to me. + </p> + <p> + Not that I really <i>wanted</i> the world to come to a end that day. No, I + kinder wanted to live along for some time, for several reasons: My + pardner, the babe, the children, etc.; and then I kinder like to live for + the <i>sake</i> of livin'. I enjoy it. + </p> + <p> + But I can say, and say with truth, and solemnity, that the idee didn't + scare me none. And as my companion looked down in my face as the time + approached, I could see the same thoughts that wuz writ in my eyes + a-shinin' in his'n. + </p> + <p> + Wall, as the pinter approached the hour, the excitement grew nearly, if + not quite rampant. The believers threw their white robes on over their + dresses and coats, and as the pinter slowly moved round from half-past + three to quarter to 4—and so on—they shouted, they sung, they + prayed, they shook each other's hands—they wuz fairly crazed with + excitement and fervor, which they called religion—for they wuz in + earnest, nobody could dispute that. + </p> + <p> + Joe and Miss Pool kinder hung together all this time—though I + ketched him givin' several wistful looks at Jenette, as much as to say, + “Oh, how I hate to leave you, Jenette!” + </p> + <p> + But Miss Pool would roust him up agin, and he would shout and sing with + the frienziedest and most zealousest of 'em. + </p> + <p> + Mother Charnick stood with her bag in her hand, and the other hand on the + puckerin' string. I don't say what she had in the bag, but I do say this, + that she had it fixed so's she could have ondone it in a secont's time. + And her eyes wuz intent on the heavens overhead. But they kep calm and + serene and cloudless, nothin' to be seen there—no sign, no change—and + Ma Charnick kep still and didn't draw the puckerin' string. + </p> + <p> + But oh, how excitement reined and grew rampant around that school-house! + Miss Pool and Joe seemin' to outdo all the rest (she always did try to), + till at last, jest as the pinter swung round to the very minute, Joe, more + than half by the side of himself, with the excitement he had been in for a + week, and bein' urged onto it by Miss Pool, as he sez to this day, he + jumped up onto the tall stump he had been a standin' by, and stood there + in his long white robe, lookin' like a spook, if anybody had been calm + enough to notice it, and he sung out in a clear voice—his voice + always did have a good honest ring to it: + </p> + <p> + Farewell my friends,<br /> Farewell my foes;<br /> Up to Heaven<br /> Joe + Charnick goes. + </p> + <p> + And jest as the clock struck, and they all shouted and screamed, he waved + his arms, with their two great white wings a-flutterin', and sprung + upwards, expectin' the hull world, livin' and dead, would foller him—and + go right up into the heavens. + </p> + <p> + And Trueman's wife bein' right by the stump, waved her wings and jumped + too—jest the same direction es he jumped. But she only stood on a + camp chair, and when she fell, she didn't crack no bones, it only jarred + her dretfully, and hurt her across the small of her back, to that extent + that I kep bread and milk poultices on day and night for three weeks, and + lobelia and catnip, half and half; she a-arguin' at me every single + poultice I put on that it wuzn't her way of makin' poultices, nor her way + of applyin' of 'em. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="065.jpg (141K)" src="images/065.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + I told her I didn't know of any other way of applyin' 'em to her back, + only to put 'em on it. But she insisted to the last that I didn't apply + 'em right, and I didn't crumble the bread into the milk right, and the + lobelia wuzn't picked right, nor the catnip. + </p> + <p> + Not one word did she ever speak about the end of the world—not a + word—but a-naggin' about everything else. + </p> + <p> + Wall, I healed her after a time, and glad enough wuz I to see her healed, + and started off. + </p> + <p> + But Joe Charnick suffered worse and longer. He broke his limb in two + places and cracked his rib. The bones of his arm wuz a good while + a-healin', and before they wuz healed he was wounded in a new place. + </p> + <p> + He jest fell over head and ears in love with Jenette Finster. For bein' + shet up to home with his mother and her (his mother wouldn't hear to + Jenette leavin' her for a minute) he jest seemed to come to a full + realizin' sense of her sweet natur' and bright, obleegin' ways; and his + old affection for her bloomed out into the deepest and most idolatrous + love—Joe never could be megum. + </p> + <p> + Jenette, and good enough for him, held him off for quite a spell—but + when he got cold and relapsted, and they thought he wuz goin' to die, then + she owned up to him that she worshipped him—and always had. + </p> + <p> + And from that day he gained. Mother Charnick wuz tickled most to death at + the idea of havin' Jenette for her own girl—she thinks her eyes on + her, and so does Jenette of her. So it wuz agreeable as anything ever wuz + all around, if not agreeabler. + </p> + <p> + Jest as quick as she got well enough to walk, and before he got out of his + bed, Trueman's wife walked over to see Joe. And Joe's mother hatin' her + so, wouldn't let her step her foot into the house. And Joe wuz glad on't, + so they say. + </p> + <p> + Mother Charnick wuz out on the stoop in front of the house, when Trueman's + wife got there, and told her that they had to keep the house still; that + is, they say so, I don't know for certain, but they say that Ma Charnick + offered to take Trueman's wife out to see her chickens, the ones she had + brought up by hand, and Trueman's wife wantin' to please her, so's to get + in, consented. And Miss Charnick showed her the hull 14 of 'em, all fat + and flourishing—they wuz well took care of. And Miss Charnick looked + down on 'em fondly, and sez: + </p> + <p> + “I lay out to have a good chicken pie the day that Joe and Jenette are + married.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="066.jpg (67K)" src="images/066.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Married!” sez Trueman's wife, in faint and horrified axcents. “Yes, they + are goin' to be married jest as soon as my son gets well enough. Jenette + is fixin' a new dress for me to wear to the weddin'—with a bask,” + sez she with emphasis. And es she said it, they say she stooped down and + gathered some sprigs of thoroughwert, a-mentionin' how much store she set + by it for sickness. + </p> + <p> + But if she did, Trueman's wife didn't sense it, she wuz dumbfoundered and + sot back by the news. And she left my home and board the week before the + weddin'. + </p> + <p> + They had been married about a year, when Jenette wuz here a-visitin'—and + she asked me in confidence (and it <i>must</i> be kep, it stands lo reason + it must), “if I s'posed that book muslin robe would make two little + dresses?” + </p> + <p> + And I told her, “Good land! yes, three on 'em,” and it did. + </p> + <p> + She dresses the child beautiful, and I don't know whether she would want + the neighbors to know jest what and when and where she gets the materials— + </p> + <p> + It looks some like her and some like Joe—and they both think their + eyes on it—but old Miss Charnick worships it—Wall, though es I + said (and I have eppisoded to a extent that is almost onprecidented and + onheard on). + </p> + <p> + Though Josiah Allen made a excuse of borrowin' a plow (a <i>plow</i>, that + time of night) to get away from my arguments on the Conference, and + Submit's kinder skairt face, and so forth, and so on— + </p> + <p> + He resumed the conversation the next mornin' with more energy than ever. + (He never said nuthin' about the plow, and I never see no sign on it, and + don't believe he got it, or wanted it.) + </p> + <p> + He resumed the subject, and kep on a-resumin' of it from day to day and + from hour to hour. + </p> + <p> + He would nearly exhaust the subject at home, and then he would tackle the + wimmen on it at the Methodist Meetin' House, while we Methodist wimmen wuz + to work. + </p> + <p> + After leavin' me to the meetin' house, Josiah would go on to the + post-office for his daily <i>World</i>, and then he would stop on his way + back to give us female wimmen the latest news from the Conference, and + give us his idees on't. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="067.jpg (144K)" src="images/067.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And sometimes he would fairly harrow us to the very bone, with his dretful + imaginins and fears that wimmen would be allowed to overdo herself, and + ruin her health, and strain her mind, by bein' permitted to set! + </p> + <p> + Why Submit Tewksbury, and some of the other weaker sisters, would look + fairly wild-eyed for some time after he would go. + </p> + <p> + He never could stay long. Sometimes we would beset him to stay and do some + little job for us, to help us along with our work, such as liftin' + somethin' or movin' some bench, or the pulpit, or somethin'. + </p> + <p> + But he never had the time; he always had to hasten home to get to work. He + wuz in a great hurry with his spring's work, and full of care about that + buzz saw mill. + </p> + <p> + And that wuz how it wuz with every man in the meetin' house that wuz able + to work any. They wuz all in a hurry with their spring's work, and their + buzz saws, and their inventions, and their agencys, etc., etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + And that wuz the reason why we wimmen wuz havin' such a hard job on the + meetin' house. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c17" id="c17"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="068c17.jpg (99K)" src="images/068c17.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XVII. + </p> + <p> + You see the way on't wuz: we had to do sumthin' to raise the minister's + salary, which wuz most half a year behindhand, to say nothin' of the + ensuin' year a-comin'. And as I have hinted at before but hain't gi'n + petickulers, the men in the meetin' house had all gi'n out, and said they + had gi'n every cent they could, and they couldn't and they wouldn't do any + more, any way. + </p> + <p> + As I have said more formally, there wuz a hardness arozen amongst the male + brethern. + </p> + <p> + Deacon Peedick thought he had gi'n more than his part in proportion, and + come right out plain and said so. + </p> + <p> + And Deacon Bobbet said “he wuzn't the man to stand it to be told right to + his face that he hadn't done his share,” and he said “he wuzn't the man + either, to be hinted at from the pulpit about things.” I don't believe he + wuz hinted at, and Sister Bobbet don't And she felt like death to have him + so riz up in his mind, and act so. I know what the tex' wuz; it wuz these + words: + </p> + <p> + “The Lord loveth a cheerful giver.” + </p> + <p> + The minister didn't mean nothin' only pure gospel, when he preached about + it. But it proved to be a tight-breasted, close-fittin' coat to several of + the male brothers, and it fitted 'em so well it fairly pinched 'em. + </p> + <p> + But there it wuz, Deacon Bobbet wouldn't gi'n a cent towards raisin' the + money. And there wuz them that said, and stuck to it, that he said “he + wouldn't give a <i>darn</i> cent.” + </p> + <p> + But I don't know as that is so. I wouldn't want to be the one that said + that he had demeaned himself to that extent. + </p> + <p> + Wall, he wouldn't give a cent, and Peedick wouldn't give, and Deacon Henzy + and Deacon Sypher wouldn't. They said that there wuz certain members of + the meetin' house that had said to certain people suthin' slightin' about + buzz saws. + </p> + <p> + I myself thought then, and think still, that the subject of buzz saws had + a great deal to do in makin' 'em act so riz up and excited. I believe the + subject rasped 'em, and made 'em nervous. But when these various + hardnesses aroze amongst some of the brethern, the rest of the men kinder + joined in with 'em, some on one side, and some on the other, and they all + baulked right out of the harness. (Allegory.) And there the minister wuz, + good old creeter, jest a-sufferin' for the necessities of life, and most + half a year's salery due. + </p> + <p> + I tell you it looked dark. The men all said they couldn't see no way out + of the trouble, and some of the wimmen felt about so. And old Miss Henn, + one of our most able sisters, she had gi'n out, she wuz as mad as her own + sirname about how her Metilda had been used. + </p> + <p> + The meetin' house had just hauled her up for levity. And I thought then, + and think now, that the meetin' house wuz too hard on Metilda Henn. + </p> + <p> + She did titter right out in protracted meetin', Sister Henn don't deny it, + and she felt dretful bad about it, and so did I. But Metilda said, and + stuck to it, that she couldn't have helped laughin' if it had been to save + her life. And though I realized the awfulness of it, still, when some of + the brethern wuz goin' on dretful about it, I sez to 'em: + </p> + <p> + “The Bible sez there is a time to laugh, and I don't know when that is, + unless it is when you can't help it.” + </p> + <p> + What she wuz a-laughin' at wuz this: + </p> + <p> + There wuz a widder woman by the name of Nancy Lum that always come to + evenin' meetin's. + </p> + <p> + She wuz very tall and humbly, and she had been on the look out (so it wuz + s'pozed) for a 3d husband for some time. + </p> + <p> + She had always made a practice of saying one thing over and over to all + the protracted and Conference meetin's, and she would always bust out + a-cryin' before she got it all out. + </p> + <p> + She always said “she wanted to be found always at the foot of the Cross.” + </p> + <p> + She would always begin this remark dretful kinder loud and hysterical, and + then would dwindle down kinder low at the end on't, and bustin' out into + tears somewhere through it from first to last. + </p> + <p> + But this evenin' suthin' had occurred to make her more hysterical and + melted down than usial. Some say it wuz because Deacon Henshaw wuz present + for the first time after his wive's death. + </p> + <p> + But any way, she riz up lookin' awful tall and humbly—she was most a + head taller than any man there—and she sez out loud and strong: + </p> + <p> + “I want to be found—” + </p> + <p> + And then she busted right out a-cryin' hard. And she sobbed for some time. + And then she begun agin, + </p> + <p> + “I want to be found—” + </p> + <p> + And then she busted out agin. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="069.jpg (157K)" src="images/069.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And so it went on for some time—she a-tellin' out ever and anon loud + and firm, “that she wanted to be found—” and then bustin' into + tears. + </p> + <p> + Till finally Deacon Henshaw (some mistrust that he is on the point of + gettin' after her, and he always leads the singin' any way) he struck + right out onto the him— + </p> + <p> + “Oh, that will be joyful!” + </p> + <p> + And Sister Lum sot down. + </p> + <p> + Wall, that wuz what made Metilda Henn titter. And that was what made me + bring forward that verse of scripter. That the Bible said “'there wuz a + time to laugh,' and I didn't know when it wuz unless it wuz when you + couldn't help it—” + </p> + <p> + But I didn't say it to uphold Metilda—no, indeed. I only said it + because they wuz so bitter on her, and laid the rules of the meetin' house + down on her so heavy. + </p> + <p> + But Josiah said, “What would become of the meetin' house if it didn't + punish its unruly members?” + </p> + <p> + And I sez to Josiah, “Do you remember the case of Deacon Widrig over in + Loontown. He wuz rich and influential, and when he wuz complained of, and + the meetin' house sot on him, they sot light, and you know it, Josiah + Allen. And he was kep in the church, the meen old creeter. And Miss Henn + is a widder and poor.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez Josiah, calmly, “she hain't been able to help the meetin' house + much, and Brother Widrig contributes largely.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, in a fearful meanin' axent, “I hearn he did at the time he wuz up—I + hearn he contributed <i>lots</i> to the male brethren who was a-judgin' + him—but,” sez I, “do you spoze, Josiah Allen, that if wimmen wuz + allowed their way in the matter, that that man would be allowed to stay in + the meetin' house, and keep on a-makin' and a-sellin' the poisen that is + sendin' men to ruin all round him— + </p> + <p> + “Makin' his hard cider by the barell and hogset and fixin' it some way so + it will make a far worse drunk than whiskey, and then supplyin' every low + saloon fur and near with it, and peddlin' it out to every man and boy that + wants it. + </p> + <p> + “And boys think they can drink cider without doin' any harm—so he + jest entices 'em down into the road to ruin—doin' as much agin harm + as a whiskey seller. + </p> + <p> + “And mothers have to set still and see it go on. It is men that are always + appinted to deal with sinners, male or female. Men are judged by their + peers, but wimmen never are. + </p> + <p> + “I wonder if that is just? I wonder how Deacon Widrig would have liked it + to have had Miss Henn set on him? He wuz dretful excited, so I hearn, + about Metilda's case—thought it wuz highly incumbient on the meetin' + house to have her made a example of, so's to try to abolish such wicked + doin's as snickerin' out in meetin'. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="070.jpg (119K)" src="images/070.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “I wonder how he would have liked it to have had Charley Lanfear's mother + set on him? She is a Sister in the meetin' house and Charley is a ruined + boy—and Deacon Widrig is jest as much the cause of his ruin— + jest as guilty of murderin' all that wuz sweet and lovely in him es if he + had fed arsenic to him with a teaspoon.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “In that very meetin' house to Loontown, there are mothers who have + to set and take the bread and wine tokens of the blood and body of their + crucified Redeemer from a man's hands that they know are red with the + blood of their own sons. Fur redder than human blood and deeper-stained + with the ruin of their immortal souls. + </p> + <p> + “What thoughts does these mothers keep on a-thinkin' as they set there and + see a man guilty of worse than murder set up as a example to other young + souls? What thoughts do they keep on a-thinkin' of the young hearts that + wuz pure before this man laid holt of 'em. Young eyes that wuz true and + tender till this man made 'em look on his accursed drink. Young lips that + smiled on their mothers till he gin 'em that that changed the smiles to + curses? + </p> + <p> + “Would a delegation of wimmen keep such a man in the meetin' house if he + paved the hull floor with fine gold? No, you know they wouldn't. Let a + jury of mothers set on such a man, and see if he could get up agin very + easy. + </p> + <p> + “They are the ones who have suffered by him, who have agonized, who went + down into deeper than the Valley of Death led by his hand. They went down + into that depth where they lose their boy. Lose him eternally. + </p> + <p> + “Death, jest death, would give 'em a chance to meet their child again. But + what hope does a mother have when down in the darkness that has no + mornin', her boy tears his hand from her weak grasp and plunges downward? + </p> + <p> + “How does such a mother feel as she sets there in a still meetin' house, + and the man who has done all this passes her the emblems of a deathless + love, a divine purity?” + </p> + <p> + Josiah sat demute and, didn't say nuthin', and I went on, for I wuz very + roze up in my mind, and by the side of myself with emotions. + </p> + <p> + And sez I, “Take the case of Simeon Lathers. Why wuz it that Sister Irene + Filkins wuz turned out of the meetin' house and the man who wuz the first + cause of her goin' astray kep in—the handsome, smooth-faced + hypocrite?—it wuz because he wuz rich as a Jew, and jest plastered + over the consciences of them that tried him with his fine speeches and his + money.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="071.jpg (133K)" src="images/071.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Fixed over the meetin' house there in Zoar, built a new steeple, a + towerin' one. If wimmen had had their way, that steeple would have pinted + the other way.” + </p> + <p> + Josiah looked up from Ayers' Almanac, which he wuz calmly perusin', and + sez he, + </p> + <p> + “How a steeple would look a-pintin' down!” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="c18" id="c18"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="072c18.jpg (100K)" src="images/072c18.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XVIII. + </p> + <p> + Josiah's face wuz smooth and placid, he hadn't took a mite of sense of + what I had been a-sayin', and I knew it. Men don't. They know at the most + it is only <i>talk</i>, wimmen hain't got it in their power to <i>do</i> + anything. And I s'pose they reason on it in this way—a little wind + storm is soon over, it relieves old Natur and don't hurt anything. + </p> + <p> + Yes, my pardner's face wuz as calm as the figger on the outside of the + almanac a-holdin' the bottle, and his axent wuz mildly wonderin' and + gently sarcestickle. + </p> + <p> + “How a steeple would look a-pintin' down! That is a true woman's idee.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “I would have it a-pintin' down towards the depths of darkness that + wuz in that man's heart that roze it up, and the infamy of the deed that + kep him in the meetin' house and turned his victim out of it.” + </p> + <p> + “I d'no as she wuz his victim,” sez Josiah. + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Every one knows that in the first place Simeon Lathers wuz the man + that led her astray.” + </p> + <p> + “It wuzn't proved,” sez Josiah, a-turnin' the almanac over and lookin' at + the advertisement on the back side on't. + </p> + <p> + “And why wuzn't it proved?” sez I, “because he held a big piece of gold + against the mouths of the witnesses.” + </p> + <p> + “I didn't see any in front of my mouth,” sez Josiah, lookin' 'shamed but + some composed. + </p> + <p> + “And you know what the story wuz,” sez he, “accordin' to that, he did it + all to try her faith.” + </p> + <p> + I wouldn't encourage Josiah by even smilin' at his words, though I knew + well what the story wuz he referred to. + </p> + <p> + It wuz at a Conference meetin', when Simeon Lathers wuz jest a-beginnin' + to take notice of how pretty Irene Filkins wuz. + </p> + <p> + She had gone forward to the anxious seat, with some other young females, + their minds bein' wrought on, so it wuz spozed, by Deacon Lathers's + eloquent exhortations, and urgin's to 'em to come forward and be saved. + </p> + <p> + And they had gone up onto the anxious seat a-sheddin' tears, and they all + knelt down there, and Deacon Lathers he went right up and knelt down right + by Sister Irene Filkins, and them that wuz there say, that right while he + wuz a-prayin' loud and strong for 'em all, and her specially, he put his + arm round her and acted in such a way that she resented it bitterly. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="073.jpg (56K)" src="images/073.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + She wuz a good, virtuous girl then, any way. + </p> + <p> + And she resented his overtoors in such a indignant and decided way that it + drawed the attention of a hull lot of brothers and sisters towards 'em. + </p> + <p> + And Deacon Lathers got right up from his knees and sez, “Bretheren and + sisters, let us sing these lines: + </p> + <p> + “He did it all to try her faith.” + </p> + <p> + I remembered this story, but I wuzn't goin' to encourage Josiah Allen by + lettin' my attention be drawed off by any anectotes—nor I didn't + smile—oh, no I But I went right on with a hull lot of burnin' + indignatin in my axents, and sez I, “Josiah Allen, can you look me in the + face and say that it wuzn't money and bad men's influence that keep such + men as Deacon Widrig and Simeon Lathers in the meetin' house?” Sez I, “If + they wuz poor men would they have been kep', or if it wuzn't for the + influence of men that like hard drink?” + </p> + <p> + “Wall, as it were,” sez Josiah, “I—that is—wall, it is + a-gettin' bed-time, Samantha.” + </p> + <p> + And he wound up the clock and went to bed. + </p> + <p> + And I set there, all rousted up in my mind, for more'n a hour—and I + dropped more'n seven stitches in Josiah's heel, and didn't care if I did. + </p> + <p> + But I have episoded fearfully, and to resoom and go on. + </p> + <p> + Miss Henn wuz mad, and she wuz one of our most enterprizen' sisters, and + we felt that she wuz a great loss. + </p> + <p> + Things looked dretful dark. And Sister Bobbet, who is very tender hearted, + shed tears several times a-talkin' about the hard times that had come onto + our meetin' house, and how Zion wuz a-languishin', etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + And I told Sister Bobbet in confidence, and also in public, that it wuz + time to talk about Zion's languishin' when we had done all we could to + help her up. And I didn't believe Zion would languish so much if she had a + little help gin her when she needed it. + </p> + <p> + And Miss Bobbet said “she felt jest so about it, but she couldn't help + bein' cast down.” And so most all of the sisters said. Submit Tewksbury + wept, and shed tears time and agin, a-talkin' about it, and so several of + 'em did. But I sez to 'em— + </p> + <p> + “Good land!” sez I. “We have seen jest as hard times in the Methodist + meetin' house before, time and agin, and we wimmen have always laid holt + and worked, and laid plans, and worked, and worked, and with the Lord's + help have sailed the old ship Zion through the dark waters into safety, + and we can do it agin.” + </p> + <p> + Though what we wuz to do we knew not, and the few male men who didn't jine + in the hardness, said they couldn't see no way out of it, but what the + minister would have to go, and the meetin' house be shet up for a spell. + </p> + <p> + But we female wimmen felt that we could not have it so any way. And we + jined together, and met in each other's housen (not publickly, oh no! we + knew our places too well as Methodist Sisters). + </p> + <p> + We didn't make no move in public, but we kinder met round to each other's + housen, sort o' private like, and talked, and talked, and prayed—we + all knew that wuzn't aginst the church rules, so we jest rastled in + prayer, for help to pay our honest debts, and keep the Methodist meetin' + house from disgrace, for the men wuz that worked up and madded, that they + didn't seem to care whether the meetin' house come to nothin' or not. + </p> + <p> + Wall, after settin' day after day (not public settin', oh, no! we knew our + places too well, and wouldn't be ketched a-settin' public till we had a + right to). + </p> + <p> + After settin' and talkin' it over back and forth, we concluded the very + best thing we could do wuz to give a big fair and try to sell things + enough to raise some money. + </p> + <p> + It wuz a fearful tuff job we had took onto ourselves, for we had got to + make all the things to sell out of what we could get holt of, for, of + course, our husbands all kep the money purses in their own hands, as the + way of male pardners is. But we laid out to beset 'em when they wuz + cleverer than common (owin' to extra good vittles) and get enough money + out of 'em to buy the materials to work with, bedquilts (crazy, and + otherwise), embroidered towels, shawl straps, knit socks and suspenders, + rugs, chair covers, lap robes, etc., etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + It wuz a tremendus hard undertakin' we had took onto ourselves, with all + our spring's work on hand, and not one of us Sisters kep a hired girl at + the time, and we had to do our own house cleanin', paintin' floors, makin' + soap, spring sewin', etc., besides our common housework. + </p> + <p> + But the very worst on't wuz the meetin' house wuz in such a shape that we + couldn't do a thing till that wuz fixed. + </p> + <p> + The men had undertook to fix over the meetin' house jest before the + hardness commenced. The men and wimmen both had labored side by side to + fix up the old house a little. + </p> + <p> + The men had said that in such church work as that wimmen had a perfect + right to help, to stand side by side with the male brothers, and do half, + or more than half, or even <i>all</i> the work. They said it wuzn't aginst + the Discipline, and all the Bishops wuz in favor of it, and always had + been. They said it wuz right accordin' to the Articles. But when it come + to the hard and arjuous duties of drawin' salleries with 'em, or settin' + up on Conferences with 'em, why there a line had to be drawed, wimmen must + not be permitted to strain herself in no such ways—nor resk the + tender delicacy of her nature, by settin' in a meetin' house as a delegate + by the side of a man once a year. It wuz too resky. But we could lay holt + and work with 'em in public, or in private, which we felt wuz indeed a + privelege, for the interests of the Methodist meetin' house wuz dear to + our hearts, and so wuz our pardners' approvals—and they wuz all on + 'em unanimus on this pint—we could <i>work</i> all we wanted to. + </p> + <p> + So we had laid holt and worked right along with the men from day to day, + with their full and free consents, and a little help from 'em, till we had + got the work partly done. We had got the little Sabbath-school room + painted and papered, and the cushions of the main room new covered, and we + had engaged to have it frescoed, but the frescoer had turned out to be a + perfect fraud, and, of all the lookin' things, that meetin' house wuz + about the worst. The plaster, or whatever it wuz he had put on, had to be + all scraped off before it could be papered, the paper wuz bought, and the + scrapin' had begun. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="074.jpg (95K)" src="images/074.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + The young male and female church members had give a public concert + together, and raised enough money to get the paper—it wuz very nice, + and fifty cents a roll (double roll). These young females appearin' in + public for this purpose wuz very agreeable to the hull meetin' house, and + wuz right accordin' to the rules of the Methodist Meetin' House, for I + remember I asked about it when the question first come up about sendin' + female delegates to the Conference, and all the male members of our + meetin' house wuz so horrified at the idee. + </p> + <p> + I sez, “I'll bet there wouldn't one of the delegates yell half so loud es + she that wuz Mahala Gowdey at the concert. Her voice is a sulferino of the + very keenest edge and highest tone, and she puts in sights and sights of + quavers.” + </p> + <p> + But they all said that wuz a <i>very</i> different thing. + </p> + <p> + And sez I, “How different? She wuz a yellin' in public for the good of the + Methodist Meetin' House (it wuz her voice that drawed the big congregatin, + we all know). And them wimmen delegates would only have to 'yea' and 'nay' + in a still small voice for the good of the same. I can't see why it would + be so much more indelicate and unbecomin' in them”—and sez I, “they + would have bonnets and shawls on, and she that wuz Mahala had on a low + neck and short sleeves.” But they wouldn't yield, and I wouldn't nuther. + </p> + <p> + But I am a eppisodin fearful, and to resoom. Wall, as I said, the scrapin' + had begun. One side of the room wuz partly cleaned so the paper could go + on, and then the fuss come up, and there it wuz, as you may say, neither + hay nor grass, neither frescoed nor papered nor nuthin'. And of all the + lookin' sights it wuz. + </p> + <p> + Wall, of course, if we had a fair in that meetin' house, we couldn't have + it in such a lookin' place to disgrace us in the eyes of Baptists and + 'Piscopals. + </p> + <p> + No, that meetin' house had got to be scraped, and we wimmen had got to do + the scrapin' with case knives. + </p> + <p> + It wuz a hard job. I couldn't help thinkin' quite a number of thoughts as + I stood on a barell with a board acrost it, afraid as death of fallin' and + a workin' for dear life, and the other female sisters a standin' round on + similar barells, all a-workin' fur beyond their strengths, and all afraid + of fallin', and we all a-knowin' what we had got ahead on us a paperin' + and a gettin' up the fair. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c19" id="c19"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="075c19.jpg (95K)" src="images/075c19.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XIX. + </p> + <p> + Couldn't help a-methinkin' to myself several times. It duz seem to me that + there hain't a question a-comin' up before that Conference that is harder + to tackle than this plasterin' and the conundrum that is up before us + Jonesville wimmen how to raise 300 dollars out of nuthin', and to make + peace in a meetin' house where anarky is now rainin' down. + </p> + <p> + But I only thought these thoughts to myself, fur I knew every women there + wuz peacible and law abidin' and there wuzn't one of 'em but what would + ruther fall offen her barell then go agin the rules of the Methodist + Meetin' House. + </p> + <p> + Yes, I tried to curb down my rebellous thoughts, and did, pretty much all + the time. And good land! we worked so hard that we hadn't time to tackle + very curius and peculier thoughts, them that wuz dretful strainin' and + wearin' on the mind. Not of our own accord we didn't, fur we had to jest + nip in and work the hull durin' time. + </p> + <p> + And then we all knew how deathly opposed our pardners wuz to our takin' + any public part in meetin' house matters or mountin' rostrums, and that + thought quelled us down a sight. + </p> + <p> + Of course when these subjects wuz brung up before us, and turned round and + round in front of our eyes, why we had to look at 'em and be rousted up by + 'em more or less. It was Nater. + </p> + <p> + And Josiah not havin' anything to do evenin's only to set and look at the + ceilin'. Every single night when I would go home from the meetin' house, + Josiah would tackle me on it, on the danger of allowin' wimmen to ventur + out of her spear in Meetin' House matters, and specially the Conference. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="076.jpg (59K)" src="images/076.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + It begin to set in New York the very day we tackled the meetin' in + Jonesville with a extra grip. + </p> + <p> + So's I can truly say, the Meetin' House wuz on me day and night. For + workin' on it es I did, all day long, and Josiah a-talkin' abut it till + bed time, and I a-dreamin' abut it a sight, that, and the Conference. + </p> + <p> + Truly, if I couldn't set on the Conference, the Conference sot on me, from + mornin' till night, and from night till mornin'. + </p> + <p> + I spoze it wuz Josiah's skairful talk that brung it onto me, it wuz brung + on nite mairs mostly, in the nite time. + </p> + <p> + He would talk <i>very</i> skairful, and what he called deep, and repeat + pages of Casper Keeler's arguments, and they would appear to me (drawed + also by nite mairs) every page on 'em lookin' fairly lurid. + </p> + <p> + I suffered. + </p> + <p> + Josiah would set with the <i>World</i> and other papers in his hand, + a-perusin' of 'em, while I would be a-washin' up my dishes, and the very + minute I would get 'em done and my sleeves rolled down, he would tackle + me, and often he wouldn't wait for me to get my work done up, or even + supper got, but would begin on me as I filled up my tea kettle, and keep + up a stiddy drizzle of argument till bed time, and as I say, when he left + off, the nite mairs would begin. + </p> + <p> + I suffered beyond tellin' almost. + </p> + <p> + The secont night of my arjuous labors on the meetin' house, he began wild + and eloquent about wimmen bein' on Conferences, and mountin' rostrums. And + sez he, “That is suthin' that we Methodist men can't stand.” + </p> + <p> + And I, havin' stood up on a barell all day a-scrapin' the ceilin', and not + bein' recuperated yet from the skairtness and dizziness of my day's work, + I sez to him: + </p> + <p> + “Is rostrums much higher than them barells we have to stand on to the + meetin' house?” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="077.jpg (166K)" src="images/077.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And Josiah said, “it wuz suthin' altogether different.” And he assured me + agin, + </p> + <p> + “That in any modest, unpretendin' way the Methodist Church wuz willin' to + accept wimmen's work. It wuzn't aginst the Discipline. And that is why,” + sez he, “that wimmen have all through the ages been allowed to do most all + the hard work in the church—such as raisin' money for church work—earnin' + money in all sorts of ways to carry on the different kinds of charity work + connected with it—teachin' the children, nursin' the sick, carryin' + on hospital work, etc., etc. But,” sez he, “this is fur, fur different + from gettin' up on a rostrum, or tryin' to set on a Conference. Why,” sez + he, in a haughty tone, “I should think they'd know without havin' to be + told that laymen don't mean women.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Them very laymen that are tryin' to keep wimmen out of the + Conference wouldn't have got in themselves if it hadn't been for wimmen's + votes. If they can legally vote for men to get in why can't men vote for + them?” + </p> + <p> + “That is the pint,” sez Josiah, “that is the very pint I have been tryin' + to explain to you. Wimmen can help men to office, but men can't help + wimmen; that is law, that is statesmanship. I have been a-tryin' to + explain it to you that the word laymen <i>always</i> means woman when she + can help men in any way, but <i>not</i> when he can help her, or in any + other sense.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “It seemed to mean wimmen when Metilda Henn wuz turned out of the + meetin' house.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, yes,” sez Josiah in a reasonin' tone, “the word laymen always means + wimmen when it is used in a punishin' and condemnatory sense, or in the + case of work and so fourth, but when it comes to settin' up in high + places, or drawin' sallerys, or anything else difficult, it alweys means + men.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, in a very dry axent, “Then the word man, when it is used in church + matters, always means wimmen, so fur as scrubbin' is concerned, and + drowdgin' round?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez Josiah haughtily, “And it always means men in the higher and + more difficult matters of decidin' questions, drawin' sallerys, settin' on + Conferences, etc. It has long been settled to be so,” sez he. + </p> + <p> + “Who settled it?” sez I. + </p> + <p> + “Why the men, of course,” sez he. “The men have always made the rules of + the churches, and translated the Bibles, and everything else that is + difficult,” sez he. Sez I, in fearful dry axents, almost husky ones, “It + seems to take quite a knack to know jest when the word laymen means men + and when it means wimmen.” + </p> + <p> + “That is so,” sez Josiah. “It takes a man's mind to grapple with it; + wimmen's minds are too weak to tackle it It is jest as it is with that + word 'men' in the Declaration of Independence. Now that word 'men', in + that Declaration, means men some of the time, and some of the time men and + wimmen both. It means both sexes when it relates to punishment, taxin' + property, obeyin' the laws strictly, etc., etc., and then it goes right on + the very next minute and means men only, as to wit, namely, votin', takin' + charge of public matters, makin' laws, etc. + </p> + <p> + “I tell you it takes deep minds to foller on and see jest to a hair where + the division is made. It takes statesmanship. + </p> + <p> + “Now take that claws, 'All men are born free and equal.' + </p> + <p> + “Now half of that means men, and the other half men and wimmen. Now to + understand them words perfect you have got to divide the tex. 'Men are + born.' That means men and wimmen both—men and wimmen are both born, + nobody can dispute that. Then comes the next claws, 'Free and equal.' Now + that means men only—anybody with one eye can see that. + </p> + <p> + “Then the claws, 'True government consists.' That means men and wimmen + both—consists—of course the government consists of men and + wimmen, 'twould be a fool who would dispute that. 'In the consent of the + governed.' That means men alone. Do you see, Samantha?” sez he. + </p> + <p> + I kep' my eye fixed on the tea kettle, fer I stood with my tea-pot in hand + waitin' for it to bile—“I see a great deal, Josiah Allen.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="078.jpg (126K)" src="images/078.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez he, “I am glad on't. Now to sum it up,” sez he, with some the + mean of a preacher—or, ruther, a exhauster—“to sum the matter + all up, the words 'bretheren,' 'laymen,' etc., always means wimmen so fur + as this: punishment for all offenses, strict obedience to the rules of the + church, work of any kind and all kinds, raisin' money, givin' money all + that is possible, teachin' in the Sabbath school, gettin' up missionary + and charitable societies, carryin' on the same with no help from the male + sect leavin' that sect free to look after their half of the meanin' of the + word—sallerys, office, makin' the laws that bind both of the sexes, + rulin' things generally, translatin' Bibles to suit their own idees, + preachin' at 'em, etc., etc. Do you see, Samantha?” sez he, proudly and + loftily. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez I, as I filled up my tea-pot, for the water had at last biled. + “Yes, I see.” + </p> + <p> + And I spoze he thought he had convinced me, for he acted high headeder and + haughtier for as much as an hour and a half. And I didn't say anything to + break it up, for I see he had stated it jest as he and all his sect looked + at it, and good land! I couldn't convince the hull male sect if I tried—clergymen, + statesmen and all—so I didn't try, and I wuz truly beat out with my + day's work, and I didn't drop more than one idee more. I simply dropped + this remark es I poured out his tea and put some good cream into it—I + merely sez: + </p> + <p> + “There is three times es many wimmen in the meetin' house es there is + men.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez he, “that is one of the pints I have been explainin' to you,” + and then he went on agin real high headed, and skairt, about the old + ground, of the willingness of the meetin' house to shelter wimmen in its + folds, and how much they needed gaurdin' and guidin', and about their + delicacy of frame, and how unfitted they wuz to tackle anything hard, and + what a grief it wuz to the male sect to see 'em a-tryin' to set on + Conferences or mount rostrums, etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + And I didn't try to break up his argument, but simply repeated the + question I had put to him—for es I said before, I wuz tired, and + skairt, and giddy yet from my hard labor and my great and hazardus + elevatin'; I had not, es you may say, recovered yet from my recuperation, + and so I sez agin them words— + </p> + <p> + “Is rostrums much higher than them barells to stand on?” And Josiah said + agin, “it wuz suthin' entirely different;” he said barells and rostrums + wuz so fur apart that you couldn't look at both on 'em in one day hardly, + let alone a minute. And he went on once more with a long argument full of + Bible quotations and everything. + </p> + <p> + And I wuz too tuckered out to say much more. But I did contend for it to + the last, that I didn't believe a rostrum would be any more tottlin' and + skairful a place than the barell I had been a-standin' on all day, nor the + work I'd do on it any harder than the scrapin' of the ceilin' of that + meetin house. + </p> + <p> + And I don't believe it would, I stand jest as firm on it to-day as I did + then. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c20" id="c20"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="079c20.jpg (100K)" src="images/079c20.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XX. + </p> + <p> + Wall, we got the scrapin' done after three hard and arjous days' works, + and then we preceeded to clean the house. The day we set to clean the + meetin' house prior and before paperin', we all met in good season, for we + knew the hardships of the job in front of us, and we all felt that we + wanted to tackle it with our full strengths. + </p> + <p> + Sister Henzy, wife of Deacon Henzy, got there jest as I did. She wuz in + middlin' good spirits and a old yeller belzerine dress. + </p> + <p> + Sister Gowdy had the ganders and newraligy and wore a flannel for 'em + round her head, but she wuz in workin' spirits, her will wuz up in arms, + and nerved up her body. + </p> + <p> + Sister Meechim wuz a-makin' soap, and so wuz Sister Sypher, and Sister + Mead, and me. But we all felt that soap come after religion, not before. + “Cleanliness <i>next</i> to godliness.” + </p> + <p> + So we wuz all willin' to act accordin' and tackle the old meetin' house + with a willin' mind. + </p> + <p> + Wall, we wuz all engaged in the very heat of the warfare, as you may say, + a-scrubbin' the floors, and a-scourin' the benches by the door, and + a-blackin' the 2 stoves that stood jest inside of the door. We wuz workin' + jest as hard as wimmen ever worked—and all of the wimmen who wuzn't + engaged in scourin' and moppin' wuz a-settin' round in the pews a-workin' + hard on articles for the fair—when all of a suddin the outside door + opened and in come Josiah Allen with 3 of the other men bretheren. + </p> + <p> + They had jest got the great news of wimmen bein' apinted for Deaconesses, + and had come down on the first minute to tell us. She that wuz Celestine + Bobbet wuz the only female present that had heard of it. + </p> + <p> + Josiah had heard it to the post-office, and he couldn't wait till noon to + tell me about it, and Deacon Gowdy wuz anxius Miss Gowdy should hear it as + soon es possible. Deacon Sypher wanted his wife to know at once that if + she wuzn't married she could have become a deaconess under his derectin'. + </p> + <p> + And Josiah wanted me to know immegietly that I, too, could have had the + privilege if I had been a more single woman, of becomin' a deaconess, and + have had the chance of workin' all my hull life for the meetin' house, + with a man to direct my movements and take charge on me, and tell me what + to do, from day to day and from hour to hour. + </p> + <p> + And Deacon Henzy was anxious Miss Henzy should get the news as quick as + she could. So they all hastened down to the meetin' house to tell us. + </p> + <p> + And we left off our work for a minute to hear 'em. It wuzn't nowhere near + time for us to go home. + </p> + <p> + Josiah had lots of further business to do in Jonesville and so had the + other men. But the news had excited 'em, and exhilerated 'em so, that they + had dropped everything, and hastened right down to tell us, and then they + wuz a-goin' back agin immegietly. + </p> + <p> + I, myself, took the news coolly, or as cool as I could, with my + temperature up to five or five and a half, owin' to the hard work and the + heat. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="080.jpg (135K)" src="images/080.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Miss Gowdy also took it pretty calm. She leaned on her mop handle, partly + for rest (for she was tuckered out) and partly out of good manners, and + didn't say much. + </p> + <p> + But Miss Sypheris such a admirin'woman, she looked fairly radiant at the + news, and she spoke up to her husband in her enthusiastik warm-hearted way— + </p> + <p> + “Why, Deacon Sypher, is it possible that I, too, could become a deacon, + jest like you?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” sez Deacon Sypher solemnly, “no, Drusilly, not like me. But you + wimmen have got the privelege now, if you are single, of workin' all your + days at church work under the direction of us men.” + </p> + <p> + “Then I could work at the Deacon trade under you,” sez she admirin'ly, “I + could work jest like you—pass round the bread and wine and the + contribution box Sundays?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, no, Drusilly,” sez he condesendinly, “these hard and arjuous dutys + belong to the male deaconship. That is their own one pertickiler work, + that wimmen can't infringe upon. Their hull strength is spent in these + duties, wimmen deacons have other fields of labor, such as relievin' the + wants of the sick and sufferin', sittin' up nights with small-pox + patients, takin' care of the sufferin' poor, etc., etc.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” sez Miss Sypher (she is so good-hearted, and so awful fond of the + deacon), “wouldn't it be real sweet, Deacon, if you and I could work + together as deacons, and tend the sick, relieve the sufferers—work + for the good of the church together—go about doin' good?” + </p> + <p> + “No, Drusilly,” sez he, “that is wimmen's work. I would not wish for a + moment to curtail the holy rights of wimmen. I wouldn't want to stand in + her way, and keep her from doin' all this modest, un-pretendin' work, for + which her weaker frame and less hefty brain has fitted her. + </p> + <p> + “We will let it go on in the same old way. Let wimmen have the privelege + of workin' hard, jest as she always has. Let her work all the time, day + and night, and let men go on in the same sure old way of superentendin' + her movements, guardin' her weaker footsteps, and bossin' her round + generally.” + </p> + <p> + Deacon Sypher is never happy in his choice of language, and his method of + argiment is such that when he is up on the affirmative of a question, the + negative is delighted, for they know he will bring victery to their side + of the question. Now, he didn't mean to speak right out about men's usual + way of bossin' wimmen round. It was only his unfortunate and transparent + manner of speakin'. + </p> + <p> + And Deacon Bobbet hastened to cover up the remark by the statement that + “he wuz so highly tickled that wimmen wuzn't goin' to be admitted to the + Conference, because it would <i>weaken</i> the Conference.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez my Josiah, a-leanin' up aginst the meetin' house door, and + talkin' pretty loud, for Sister Peedick and me had gone to liftin' round + the big bench by the door, and it wuz fearful heavy, and our minds wuz + excersised as to the best place to put it while we wuz a-cleanin' the + floor. + </p> + <p> + “You see,” sez he, “we feel, we men do, we feel that it would be weakenin' + to the Conference to have wimmen admitted, both on account of her own lack + of strength and also from the fact that every woman you would admit would + keep out a man. And that,” sez he (a-leanin' back in a still easier + attitude, almust a luxurious one), “that, you see, would tend naterally to + weakenin' the strength of a church.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="081.jpg (65K)" src="images/081.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I, a-pantin' hard for breath under my burden, “move round a + little, won't you, for we want to set the bench here while we scrub under + it. And,” sez I, a-stoppin' a minute and rubbin' the perspiratin and sweat + offen my face, “Seein' you men are all here, can't you lay holt and help + us move out the benches, so we can clean the floor under 'em? Some of 'em + are very hefty,” sez I, “and all of us Sisters almost are a-makin' soap, + and we all want to get done here, so we can go home and bile down; we + would dearly love a little help,” sez I. + </p> + <p> + “I would help,” sez Josiah in a willin' tone, “I would help in a minute, + if I hadn't got so much work to do at home.” + </p> + <p> + And all the other male bretheren said the same thing—they had got to + git to get home to get to work. (Some on 'em wanted to play checkers, and + I knew it.) + </p> + <p> + But some on 'em did have lots of work on their hands, I couldn't dispute + it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c21" id="c21"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="082c21.jpg (109K)" src="images/082c21.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XXI. + </p> + <p> + Why, Deacon Henzy, besides all his cares about the buzz saw mill, and his + farm work, had bought a steam threshin' machine that made him sights of + work. It was a good machine. But it wuz fairly skairful to see it + a-steamin' and a-blowin' right along the streets of Jonesville without the + sign of a horse or ox or anything nigh it to draw it. A-puffin' out the + steam, and a-tearin' right along, that awful lookin' that it skairt she + that wuz Celestine Bobbet most into fits. + </p> + <p> + She lived in a back place where such machines wuz unknown, and she had + come home to her father's on a visit, and wuz goin' over to visit some of + his folks that day, over to Loontown. + </p> + <p> + And she wuz a-travellin' along peacible, with her father's old mair, and + a-leanin' back in the buggy a readin' a article her father had sent over + by her to Deacon Widrig, a witherin' article about female Deaconesses, and + the stern necessity of settin' 'em apart and sanctifyen' 'em to this one + work—deacon work—and how they mustn't marry, or tackle any + other hard jobs whatsumever, or break off into any other enterprize, only + jest plain deacon work. + </p> + <p> + It wuz a very flowery article. And she wuz enjoyin' of it first rate, and + a-thinkin', for she is a little timid and easily skairt, and the piece had + convinced her— + </p> + <p> + She wuz jest a-thinkin' how dretful it would be if sum female deaconess + should ever venter into some other branch of business, and what would be + apt to become of her if she did. She hated to think of what her doom would + most likely be, bein' tender hearted. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="083.jpg (105K)" src="images/083.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + When lo, and behold! jest as she wuz a-thinkin' these thoughts, she see + this wild and skairful machine approachin', and Deacon Henzy a-standin' up + on top of it a-drivin'. He looked wild and excited, bein' very tickled to + think that he had threshed more with his machine, by twenty bushels, than + Deacon Petengill had with his. There was a bet upon these two deacons, so + it wuz spozed, and he wuz a-hastenin' to the next place where he wuz to be + setup, so's to lose no time, and he was kinder hollerin'. + </p> + <p> + And the wind took his gray hair back, and his long side whiskers, and + kinder stood 'em out, and the skirts of his frock the same. + </p> + <p> + His mean wuz wild. + </p> + <p> + And it wuz more than Celestine's old mair and she herself could bear; she + cramped right round in the road (the mair did) and set sail back to old + Bobbet'ses, and that great concern a-puffin' and a-steamin' along after + 'em. + </p> + <p> + And by the time that she that wuz Celestine got there she wuz almost in a + fit, and the mair in a perfect lather. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Celestine didn't get over it for weeks and weeks, nor the mair + nuther. + </p> + <p> + And besides this enterprize of Deacon Henzy's, he had got up a great + invention, a new rat trap, that wuz peculier and uneek in the extreme. + </p> + <p> + It wuz the result of arjous study on his part, by night and day, for a + long, long time, and it wuz what he called “A Travellin' Rat Trap.” It wuz + designed to sort o' chase the rats round and skair 'em. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="085.jpg (57K)" src="images/085.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + It was spozed he got the idee in the first place from his threshin' + machine. It had to be wound up, and then it would take after 'em—rats + or mice, or anything—and they do say that it wuz quite a success. + </p> + <p> + Only it had to move on a smooth floor. It would travel round pretty much + all night; and they say that when it wuz set up in a suller, it would + chase the rats back into their holes, and they would set there and look + out on it, for the biggest heft of the night. It would take up their + minds, and kep 'em out of vittles and other mischief. + </p> + <p> + It wuz somethin' like providin' a circus for 'em. + </p> + <p> + But howsumever, the Deacon wuz a-workin' at this; he wuzn't quite + satisfied with its runnin' gear, and he wuz a-perfectin' this rat trap + every leisure minute he had outside of his buzz saw and threshin' machine + business, and so he wuz fearful busy. + </p> + <p> + Deacon Sypher had took the agency for “The Wild West, or The Leaping Cow + Boy of the Plain,” and wuz doin' well by it. + </p> + <p> + And Deacon Bobbet had took in a lot of mustangs to keep through the + winter. And he wuz a ridin' 'em a good deal, accordin' to contract, and + tryin' to tame 'em some before spring. And this work, with the buzz saw, + took up every minute of his time. For the mustangs throwed him a good + deal, and he had to lay bound up in linements a good deal of the time, and + arneky. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="086.jpg (58K)" src="images/086.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + So, as I say, it didn't surprise me a mite to have 'em say they couldn't + help us, for I knew jest how these jobs of theirn devoured their time. + </p> + <p> + And when my Josiah had made his excuse, it wuzn't any more than I had + looked out for, to hear Deacon Henzy say he had got to git home to ile his + threshin' machine. One of the cogs wuz out of gear in some way. + </p> + <p> + He wanted to help us, so it didn't seem as if he could tear himself away, + but that steam threshin' machine stood in the way. And then on his way + down to Jonesville that very mornin' a new idee had come to him about that + travellin' rat trap, and he wanted to get home jest as quick as he could, + to try it. + </p> + <p> + And Deacon Bobbet said that three of them mustangs he had took in to break + had got to be rid that day, they wuz a gettin' so wild he didn't hardly + dast to go nigh 'em. + </p> + <p> + And Deacon Sypher said that he must hasten back, for a man wuz a-comin' to + see him from way up on the State road, to try to get a agency under him + for “The Leaping Cow Boy of the Plain.” And he wanted to show the “Leaping + Cow Boy” to some agents to the tavern in Jonesville on his way home, and + to some wimmen on the old Plank road. Two or three of the wimmen had gin + hopes that they would take the “Leaping Cow Boy.” + </p> + <p> + And then they said—the hull three of the deacons did—that any + minute them other deacons who wuz goin' into partnership with 'em in the + buzz saw business wuz liable to drive down to see 'em about it. + </p> + <p> + And some of the other men brethren said their farms and their live stock + demanded the hull of their time—every minute of it. + </p> + <p> + So we see jest how it wuz, we see these male deacons couldn't devote any + of their time to the meetin' house, nor those other brethren nuther. + </p> + <p> + We see that their time wuz too valuable, and their own business devoured + the hull on it. And we married Sisters, who wuz acestemed to the strange + and mysterius ways of male men, we accepted the situation jest es we would + any other mysterius dispensation, and didn't say nothin'. + </p> + <p> + Good land! We wuz used to curius sayin's and doin's, every one on us. + Curius as a dog, and curiuser. + </p> + <p> + But Sister Meechim (onmarried), she is dretful questinin' and inquirin' + (men don't like her, they say she prys into subjects she's no business to + meddle with). She sez to Josiah: + </p> + <p> + “Why is it, Deacon Allen, that men deacons can carry on all sorts of + business and still be deacons, while wimmen deacons are obleeged to give + up all other business and devote themselves wholly to their work?” + </p> + <p> + “It is on account of their minds,” sez Josiah. “Men have got stronger + minds than wimmen, that is the reason.” + </p> + <p> + And Sister Meechim sez agin— + </p> + <p> + “Why is it that wimmen deacons have to remain onmarried, while men deacons + can marry one wife after another through a long life, that is, if they are + took from 'em by death or a divorce lawyer?” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez Josiah, “that, too, is on account of their brains. Their + brains hain't so hefty es men's.” + </p> + <p> + But I jest waded into the argument then. I jest interfered, and sez in a + loud, clear tone, + </p> + <p> + “Oh, shaw!” + </p> + <p> + And then I sez further, in the same calm, clear tones, but dry as ever a + dry oven wuz in its dryest times. Sez I, + </p> + <p> + “If you men can't help us any about the meetin' house, you'd better get + out of our way, for we wimmen have got to go to scrubbin' right where you + are a-standin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly,” sez Josiah, in a polite axent, “certainly.” + </p> + <p> + And so the rest of the men said. + </p> + <p> + And Josiah added to his remarks, as he went down the steps, + </p> + <p> + “You'd better get home, Samantha, in time to cook a hen, and make some + puddin', and so forth.” + </p> + <p> + And I sez, with quite a lot of dignity, “Have I ever failed, Josiah Allen, + to have good dinners for you, and on time too?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” sez he, “but I thought I would jest stop to remind you of it, and + also to tell you the last news from the Conference, about the + deaconesses.” + </p> + <p> + And so they trailed down one after another, and left us to our work in the + meetin' house; but as they disapered round the corner, Sister Arvilly + Lanfear, who hain't married, and who has got a sharp tongue (some think + that is why, but I don't; I believe Arvilly has had chances). + </p> + <p> + But any way, she sez, as they went down the steps, + </p> + <p> + “I'll bet them men wuz a-practisen' their new parts of men + superentendents, and look on us as a lot of deaconesses.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="087.jpg (128K)" src="images/087.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez Sister Gowdy—she loves to put on Arvilly—“wall, + you have got one qualificatin', Arvilly!” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, thank the Lord,” sez she. + </p> + <p> + And I never asked what she meant, but knew well enough that she spoke of + her single state. But Arvilly has had chances, <i>I</i> think. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c22" id="c22"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="088c22.jpg (111K)" src="images/088c22.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XXII. + </p> + <p> + I got home in time to get a good supper, though mebbe I ortn't to say it. + </p> + <p> + Sure enough, Josiah Allen had killed a hen, and dressed it ready for me to + brile, but it wuz young and tender, and I knew it wouldn't take long, so I + didn't care. + </p> + <p> + Good land! I love to humor him, and he knows it. Casper Keeler come in + jest as I wuz a-gettin' supper and I thought like as not he would stay to + supper; I laid out to ask him. But I didn't take no more pains on his + account. No, I do jest as well by Josiah Allen from day to day, as if he + wuz company, or lay out to. + </p> + <p> + Casper came over on a errent about that buzz saw mill. He wuz in dretful + good spirits, though he looked kinder peaked. + </p> + <p> + He had jest got home from the city. + </p> + <p> + It happened dretful curius, but jest at this time Casper Keeler had had to + go to New York on business. He had to sign some papers that nobody else + couldn't sign. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="089.jpg (64K)" src="images/089.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + His mother had hearn of a investment there that promised to pay dretful + well, so she had took a lot of stock in it, and it had riz right up + powerful. Why the money had increased fourfold, and more too, and Casper + bein' jest come of age, had to go and sign suthin' or other. + </p> + <p> + Wall, he went round and see lots of sights in New York. His ma's money + that she had left him made him fairly luxurius as to comfort, and he had + plenty of money to go sight seein' as much as he wanted to. + </p> + <p> + He went to all the theatres, and operas, and shows of all kinds, and + museums, and the Brooklyn Bridge, and circuses, and receptions, and et + cetery, et cetery. + </p> + <p> + He wuz a-tellin' me how much money he spent while he wuz there, kinder + boastin' on it; he had went to one of the biggest, highest taverns in the + hull village of New York, where the price wuz higher than the very highest + pinakle on the top of it, fur higher. + </p> + <p> + And I sez, “Did you go to the Wimmen's Exchange and the Workin' Wimmen's + Association, that wuz held there while you wuz there?” + </p> + <p> + And he acted real scorfin'. + </p> + <p> + “Wimmen's work!” sez he. “No, indeed! I had too much on my hands, and too + much comfort to take in higher circles, than to take in any such little + trifles as wimmen's work.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Young man, it is a precious little you would take in in life if it + hadn't been for wimmen's work. Who earned and left you the money you are + a-usin'?” sez I, “who educated you and made your life easy before you?” + </p> + <p> + And then bein' fairly drove into a corner, he owned up that his mother wuz + a good woman. + </p> + <p> + But his nose wuz kinder lifted up the hull of the time he wuz a-sayin' it, + as if he hated to own it up, hated to like a dog. + </p> + <p> + But he got real happified up and excited afterwards, in talkin' over with + Josiah what he see to the Conference.' He stayed to supper; I wuz a + seasonin' my chicken and mashed potatoes, and garnishin' 'em for the + table. I wuz out to one side a little, but I listened with one side of my + brain while the other wuz fixed on pepper, ketchup, parsley, etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="090.jpg (149K)" src="images/090.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Sez Casper, “It wuz the proudest, greatest hour of my life,” sez he, “when + I see a nigger delegate git up and give his views on wimmen keepin' down + in their place. When I see a black nigger stand up there in that + Conference and state so clearly, so logically and so powerfully the + reasons why poor weak wimmen should <i>not</i> be admitted into that + sacred enclosure— + </p> + <p> + “When I see even a nigger a-standin' there and a-knowin' so well what + wimmen's place wuz, my heart beat with about the proudest emotions I have + ever experienced. Why, he said,” sez Casper, “that if wimmen wuz allowed + to stand up in the Conference, they wouldn't be satisfied. The next thing + they would want to do would be to preach. It wuz a masterly argument,” sez + Casper. + </p> + <p> + “It must have been,” sez my Josiah. + </p> + <p> + “He seemed to have such a borrow of a weak-minded, helpless woman + a-raisin' herself up out of her lower spear.” + </p> + <p> + “Well he might,” sez Josiah, “well he might.” + </p> + <p> + Truly, there are times when women can't, seeminly, stand no more. This wuz + one on 'em, and I jest waded right into the argiment. I sez, real solemn + like, a-holdin' the sprig of parsley some like a septer, only more sort o' + riz up like and mysteriouser. Yes, I held that green sprig some as the + dove did when it couldn't find no rest for the soles of its feet—no + foundation under it and it sailed about seekin' some mount of truth it + could settle down on. Oh how wobblin' and onsubstantial and curius I felt + hearin' their talk. + </p> + <p> + “And,” sez I, “nobody is tickleder than I be to think a colored man has + had the right gin him to stand up in a Conference or anywhere else. I have + probable experienced more emotions in his behalf,” sez I, “deep and + earnest, than any other female, ancient or modern. I have bore his burdens + for him, trembled under his lashes, agonized with him in his unexampled + griefs and wrongs and indignities, and I have rejoiced at the very depths + of my soul at his freedom. + </p> + <p> + “But,” sez I, “when he uses that freedom to enchain another and as + deservin' a race, my feelin's are hurt and my indignations are riz up. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez I, a-wavin' that sprig some like a warlike banner, as my + emotions swelled up under my bask waste, + </p> + <p> + “When that negro stands there a-advocatin' the slavery of another race, + and a-sayin' that women ortn't to say her soul is her own, and wimmen are + too weak and foolish to lift up their right hands, much less preach, I'd + love to ask him where he and his race wuz twenty-five years ago, and where + they would be to-day if it wuzn't for a woman usin' her right hand and her + big heart and brain in his behalf, and preachin' for him all over the + world and in almost every language under the sun. Everybody says that + 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' wuz the searchin' harrow that loosened the old, hard + ground of slavery so the rich seed of justice could be planted and bring + forth freedom. + </p> + <p> + “If it hadn't been for that woman's preachin', that negro exhauster would + to-day most likely be a hoin' cotton with a overseer a-lashin' him up to + his duties, and his wife and children and himself a-bein' bought and sold, + and borrowed and lent and mortgaged and drove like so many animals. And + I'd like to have riz right up in that Conference and told him so.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, no,” sez Josiah, lookin' some meachin', “no, you wouldn't.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, I would,” sez I. “And I'd 've enjoyed it <i>richly</i>” sez I, es I + turned and put my sprig round the edge of the platter. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="091.jpg (128K)" src="images/091.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Casper wuz demute for as much as half a minute, and Josiah Allen looked + machin' for about the same length of time. + </p> + <p> + But, good land! how soon they got over it. They wuz as chipper as ever, + a-runnin' down the idee of women settin', before they got half through + dinner. + </p> + <p> + After hard and arjuous work we got the scrapin' done, and the scrubbin' + done, and then we proceeded to make a move towards puttin' on the paper. + </p> + <p> + But the very day before we wuz to put on our first breadth, Sister Bobbet, + our dependence and best paperer, fell down on a apple parin' and hurt her + ankle jint, so's she couldn't stand on a barell for more'n several days. + </p> + <p> + And we felt dretful cast down about it, for we all felt as if the work + must stop till Sister Bobbet could be present and attend to it. + </p> + <p> + But, as it turned out, it wuz perfectly providential, so fur as I wuz + concerned, for on goin' home that night fearfully deprested on account of + Sister Sylvester Bobbet, lo and behold! I found a letter there on my own + mantletry piece that completely turned round my own plans. It come + entirely onexpected to me, and contained the startlin' intelligence that + my own cousin, on my mother's own side, had come home to Loontown to his + sister's, and wuz very sick with nervous prostration, neuralgia, + rheumatism, etc., and expected paralasys every minute, and heart failure, + and such. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="092.jpg (58K)" src="images/092.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And his sister, Miss Timson, who wrote the letter, beset me to come over + and see him. She said, Jane Ann did (Miss Timson'ses name is Jane Ann), + and sez she in Post scriptum remark to me, sez she— + </p> + <p> + “Samantha, I know well your knowledge of sickness and your powers of + takin' care of the sick. Do come and help me take care of Ralph, for it + seems as if I can't let him go. Poor boy, he has worked so hard, and now I + wuz in hopes that he wuz goin' to take some comfort in life, unbeknown to + him. Do come and help him for my sake, and for Rosy's sake.” Rosy wuz + Ralph's only child, a pretty girl, but one ruther wild, and needin' jest + now a father's strong hand. + </p> + <p> + Rosy's mother died when she wuz a babe, and Ralph, who had always been + dretful religius, felt it to be his duty to go and preach to the savages. + So Miss Timson took the baby and Ralph left all his property with Miss + Timson to use for her, and then he girded up his lions, took his Bible and + him book and went out West and tackled the savages. + </p> + <p> + Tackled 'em in a perfectly religius way, and done sights of good, sights + and sights. For all he wuz so mild and gentle and religius, he got the + upper hand of them savages in some way, and he brung 'em into the church + by droves, and they jest worshipped him. + </p> + <p> + Wall, he worked so hard a-tryin' to do good and save souls that wuz lost—a-tryin' + single-handed to overthrow barberus beliefs and habits, and set up the + pure and peaceful doctrines of the Master. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="093.jpg (58K)" src="images/093.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + He loved and followed, that his health gin out after a time—he felt + weak and mauger. + </p> + <p> + And jest about this time his sister wrote to him that Rosy havin' got in + with gay companions, wuz a gettin' beyond her influence, and she <i>needed</i> + a father's control and firm hand to guide her right, or else she would be + liable to go to the wrong, and draw lots of others with her, for she wuz a + born leader amongst her mates, jest as her father wuz—so wouldn't + Ralph come home. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Ralph come. His sister and girl jest worshipped him, and looked and + longed for his comin', as only tender-hearted wimmen can love and worship + a hero. For if there wuz ever a hero it wuz Ralph Smith Robinson. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Ralph had been in the unbroken silences of nature so long, that the + clack, and crash, and clamor of what we call civilized life almost crazed + him. + </p> + <p> + He had been where his Maker almost seemed to come down and walk with him + through the sweet, unbroken stillnesses of mornin' and evenin'. The world + seemed so fur off to him, and the Eternal Verities of life so near, that + truly, it sometimes seemed to him as if, like one of old, “he walked with + God.” Of course the savages war-whooped some, but they wuz still a good + deal of the time, which is more than you can say for Yankees. + </p> + <p> + And Loontown when he got home was rent to its very twain with a + Presidential election. + </p> + <p> + Ralph suffered. + </p> + <p> + But above all his other sufferin's, he suffered from church bells. + </p> + <p> + Miss Timson lived, as it wuz her wish, and often her boast, right under + the droppin's of the sanctuary. + </p> + <p> + She lotted on it when she bought the place. The Baptist steeple towered up + right by the side of her house. Her spare bed wuz immegietly under the + steeple. + </p> + <p> + Wall, comin' as he did from a place where he wuz called to worship by the + voice of his soul and his good silver watch—this volume of clamor, + this rushin' Niagara of sound a-pourin' down into his ears, wuz perfectly + intolerable and onbeerable. He would lay awake till mornin' dreadin' the + sound, and then colapse under it, till it run along and he come down with + nervous fever. + </p> + <p> + He wuz worn out no doubt by his labors before he come, and any way he wuz + took bed-sick, and couldn't be moved so's the doctor said, and he bein' + outside of his own head, delerius, couldn't of course advance no idees of + his own, so he lay and suffered. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="c23" id="c23"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="094c23.jpg (102K)" src="images/094c23.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XXIII. + </p> + <p> + Miss Timson's letter wuz writ to me on the 6th day of his sickness, and + Josiah and me set sail for Loontown on the follerin' day after we got it. + </p> + <p> + I laid the case before the female Sisters of the meetin' house, and they + all counselled me to go. For, as they all said, on account of Sister + Bobbet's fallin' on the apple parin' we could not go on with the work of + paperin' the meetin' house, and so the interests of Zion wouldn't languish + on account of my absence for a day or two any way. And, as the female + Sisters all said, it seemed as if the work I wuz called to in Loontown wuz + a fair and square case of Duty, so they all counselled me to go, every one + on 'em. Though, as wuz nateral, there wuz severel divisions of opinions as + to the road I should take a-goin' there, what day I should come back, what + remiedies wuz best for me to recommend when I got there, what dress I + should wear, and whether I should wear a hankerchif pin or not—or a + bib apron, or a plain banded one, etc., etc., etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + But, as I sez, as to my goin' they wuz every one on 'em unanimus. They + meen well, those sisters in the meetin' house do, every one on 'em. + </p> + <p> + Josiah acted real offish at first about goin'. And he laid the case before + the male brothers of the meetin' house, for Josiah wuz fearful that the + interests of the buzz saw mill would languish in his absence. One or two + of the weaker brethren joined in with him, and talked kinder deprestin' + about it. + </p> + <p> + But Deacon Sypher and Deacon Henzy said they would guard his interests + with eagle visions, or somethin' to that effect, and they counselled + Josiah warmly that it wuz his duty to go. + </p> + <p> + We hearn afterwards that Deacon Sypher and Deacon Henzy wanted to go into + the North Woods a-fishin' and a-huntin' for 2 or 3 days, and it has always + been spozed by me that that accounted for their religeus advice to Josiah + Allen. + </p> + <p> + Howsumever, I don't <i>know</i> that. But I do know that they started off + a-fishin' the very day we left for Loontown, and that they come back home + about the time we did, with two long strings of trout. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="095.jpg (48K)" src="images/095.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And there wuz them that said that they ketched the trout, and them that + said they bought 'em. + </p> + <p> + And they brung back the antlers of a deer in their game bags, and some + bones of a elk. And there are them that sez that they dassent, either one + of 'em, shoot off a gun, not hardly a pop gun. But I don't know the truth + of this. I know what they <i>said</i>, they <i>said</i> the huntin' wuz + excitin' to the last degree, and the fishin' superb. + </p> + <p> + And there wuz them that said that they should think the huntin' would be + excitin', a-rummagin' round on the ground for some old bones, and they + should think the fishin' would be superb, a-dippin' 'em out of a barell + and stringin' 'em onto their own strings. + </p> + <p> + But their stories are very large, that I know. And each one on 'em, + accordin' to their tell, ketched more trouts than the other one, and fur + bigger ones, and shot more deers. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Deacon Sypher'ses advice and Deacon Henzy's influenced Josiah a good + deal, and I said quite a few words to him on the subject, and, suffice it + to say, that the next day, about 10 A.M., we set out on our journey to + Loontown. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="096.jpg (123K)" src="images/096.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Miss Timson and Rosy seemed dretful glad to see me, but they wuz pale and + wan, wanner fur than I expected to see 'em; but after I had been there a + spell I see how it wuz. I see that Ralph wuz their hero as well as their + love, and they worshipped him in every way, with their hearts and their + souls and their idealized fancies. + </p> + <p> + Wall, he wuz a noble lookin' man as I ever see, fur or near, and as good a + one as they make, he wuz strong and tender, so I couldn't blame 'em. + </p> + <p> + And though I wouldn't want Josiah to hear me say too much about it, or + mebby it would be best that he shouldn't, before I had been there 24 hours + I begun to feel some as they did. + </p> + <p> + But my feelin's wuz strictly in a meetin' house sense, strictly. + </p> + <p> + But I begun to feel with them that the middle of the world wuz there in + that bedroom, and the still, white figure a-layin' there wuz the centre, + and the rest of the world wuz a-revolvin' round him. + </p> + <p> + His face wuz worn and marked by the hand of Time and Endeaver. But every + mark wuz a good one. The Soul, which is the best sculptor after all, had + chiselled into his features the marks of a deathless endeavor and struggle + toward goodness, which is God. Had marked it with the divine sweetness and + passion of livin' and toilin' for the good of others. + </p> + <p> + He had gi'n his life jest as truly to seek and save them that wuz lost as + ever any old prophet and martyr ever had sense the world began. But under + all these heavenly expressions that a keen eye could trace in his good + lookin' face, could be seen a deathly weakness, the consumin' fire that + wuz a-consumin' of him. + </p> + <p> + Miss Timson wept when she see me, and Rosy threw herself into my arms and + sobbed. But I gently ondid her arms from round my neck and give Miss + Timson to understand that I wuz there to <i>help</i> 'em if I could. + </p> + <p> + “For,” sez I softly, “the hull future time is left for us to weep in, but + the present wuz the time to try to help Ralph S. Robinson.” + </p> + <p> + Wall, I laid to, Josiah a-helpin' me nobly, a-pickin' burdock leaves or + beet leaves, as the case might be, and a-standin' by me nobly all through + the follerin' night (that is, when he wuz awake). + </p> + <p> + Josiah and I took care on him all that night, Miss Timson refusin' to give + him into the charge of underlin's, and we a-offerin' and not to be + refused. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Josiah slept some, or that is, I s'poze he did. I didn't hear much + from him from 10 P.M. to 5 A.M., only once I heard him murmer in his + sleep, “buzz saw mill.” + </p> + <p> + But every time I would come out into the settin' room where he sot and + roust him up to get sunthin' for me, he would say, almost warmly— + </p> + <p> + “Samantha, that last remark of your'n wuz very powerful.” And I wouldn't + waste my time nor hisen by tellin' him that I hadn't made no remark, nor + thought on't. I see it would hurt his feelin's, specilly as he would add + in haste— + </p> + <p> + “That he didn't see how folks needed so much sleep; as for him, it wuz a + real treat to keep awake all night, now and then.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="097.jpg (59K)" src="images/097.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + No, I would let it go, and ask him for burdock or beet, as the case might + be. Truly I had enugh on my mind and heart that night without disputin' + with my Josiah. + </p> + <p> + Ralph S. Robinson would lay lookin' like a dead man some of the time, + still and demute, and then he would speak out in a strange language, + stranger than any I ever heard. He would preach sermons in that language, + I a-knowin' it wuz a sermen by his gestures, and also by my feelin's. And + then he would shet up his eyes and pray in that strange, strange tongue, + and anon breakin' out into our own language. And once he said: + </p> + <p> + “And now may the peace of God be with you all. Amen. The peace of God! the + peace! the peace!” + </p> + <p> + His voice lingered sort o' lovin'ly over that word, and I felt that he wuz + a-thinkin' then of the real peace, the onbroken stillness, outside and + inside, that he invoked. + </p> + <p> + Rosy would steal in now and then like a sweet little shadow, and bend down + and kiss her Pa, and cry a little over his thin, white hands which wuz + a-lyin' on the coverlet, or else lifted in that strange speech that + sounded so curius to us, a-risin' up out of the stillness of a Loontown + spare bedroom on a calm moonlit evenin'. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Friday and Saturday he wuz crazier'n a loon, more'n half the time he + wuz, but along Saturday afternoon the Doctor told us that the fever would + turn sometime the latter part of the night, and if he could sleep then, + and not be disturbed, there would be a chance for his life. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Miss Timson and Rosy both told me how the ringin' of the bells + seemed to roust him up and skair him (as it were) and git him all excited + and crazy. And they both wuz dretful anxius about the mornin' bells which + would ring when Ralph would mebby be sleepin'. So thinkin' it wuz a case + of life and death, and findin' out who wuz the one to tackle in the + matter, I calmly tied on my bonnet and walked over and tackled him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c24" id="c24"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="098c24.jpg (93K)" src="images/098c24.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XXIV. + </p> + <p> + It wuz Deacon Garven and he wuz a close communion Baptist by perswaision, + and a good man, so fur as firm morals and a sound creed goes. + </p> + <p> + Some things he lacked: he hadn't no immagination at all, not one speck. + And in makin' him up, it seems as if he had a leetle more justice added to + him to make up a lack of charity and pity. And he had a good deal of + sternness and resolve gin him, to make up, I spoze, for a lack of + tenderness and sweetness of nater. + </p> + <p> + A good sound man Deacon Garven wuz, a man who would cheat himself before + he would cheat a neighber. He wuz jest full of qualities that would hender + him from ever takin' a front part in a scandel and a tragedy. Yes, if more + men wuz like Deacon Garven the pages of the daily papers would fairly + suffer for rapiners, embezzlers, wife whippers, etc. + </p> + <p> + Wall, he wuz in his office when I tackled him. The hired girl asked me if + I come for visitin' purposes or business, and I told her firmly, + “business!” + </p> + <p> + So she walked me into a little office one side of the hall, where I spoze + the Deacon transacted the business that come up on his farm, and then he + wuz Justice of the Peace, and trustee of varius concerns (every one of 'em + good ones). + </p> + <p> + He is a tall, bony man, with eyes a sort of a steel gray, and thin lips + ruther wide, and settin' close together. And without lookin' like one, or, + that is, without havin' the same features at all, the Deacon did make me + think of a steel trap. I spoze it wuz because he wuz so sound, and sort o' + firm. A steel trap is real firm when it lays hold and tries to be. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="099.jpg (144K)" src="images/099.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Wall, I begun the subject carefully, but straight to the pint, as my way + is, by tellin' him that Ralph S. Robinson wuz a-layin' at death's door, + and his life depended on his gettin' sleep, and we wuz afraid the bells in + the mornin' would roust him up, and I had come to see if he would omit the + ringin' of 'em in the mornin'. + </p> + <p> + “Not ring the bells!” sez he, in wild amaze. “Not ring the church bells on + the Sabbath day?” + </p> + <p> + His look wuz skairful in the extreme, but I sez— + </p> + <p> + “Yes, that is what I said, we beg of you as a Christian to not ring the + bells in the mornin'.” + </p> + <p> + “A Christian! A Christian! Advise me as a <i>Christian</i> to not ring the + Sabbath bells!” + </p> + <p> + I see the idee skairt him. He wuz fairly pale with surprise and borrow. + And I told him agin', puttin' in all the perticilers it needed to make the + story straight and good, how Ralph S. Robinson had labored for the good of + others, and how his strength had gin out, and he wuz now a-layin' at the + very pint of death, and how his girl and his sister wuz a-breakin' their + hearts over him, and how we had some hopes of savin' his life if he could + get some sleep, that the doctors said his life depended on it, and agin I + begged him to do what we asked. + </p> + <p> + But the Deacon had begin to get over bein' skairt, and he looked firm as + anybody ever could, as he sez: “The bells never hurt anybody, I know, for + here I have lived right by the side of 'em for 20 years. Do I look broke + down and weak?” sez he. + </p> + <p> + “No,” sez I, honestly. “No more than a grannit monument, or a steel trap.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez he, “what don't hurt me won't hurt nobody else.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” sez I, “folks are made up different.” Sez I, “The Bible sez so, and + what might not hurt you, might be the ruin of somebody else. Wuz you ever + nervous?” sez I. + </p> + <p> + “Never,” sez he. And he added firmly, “I don't believe in nerves. I never + did. There hain't no use in 'm.” + </p> + <p> + “It wuz a wonder they wuz made, then,” sez I. “As a generel thing the Lord + don't make things there hain't no use on. Howsumever,” sez I, “there + hain't no use in disputin' back and forth on a nerve. But any way, + sickness is so fur apart from health, that the conditions of one state + can't be compared to the other; as Ralph S. Robinson is now, the sound of + the bells, or any other loud noise means torture and agony to him, and, I + am afraid, death. And I wish you would give orders to not have 'em rung in + the mornin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Are you a professor?” sez he. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez I. + </p> + <p> + “What perswaision?” sez he. + </p> + <p> + “Methodist Episcopal,” sez I. + </p> + <p> + “And do you, a member of a sister church, which, although it has many + errors, is still a-gropin' after the light! Do you counsel me to set aside + the sacred and time honored rules of our church, and allow the Sabbath to + go by unregarded, have the sanctuary desecrated, the cause of religion + languish—I cannot believe it. Think of the widespread desolation it + would cause if, as the late lamented Mr. Selkirk sung: + </p> + <p> + “'The sound of the church-going bells,<br /> These valleys and hills never + heard.'” + </p> + <p> + “No church, no sanctuary, no religius observances.” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” sez I, “that wouldn't hinder folks from goin' to church. Folks seem + to get to theatres, lectures, and disolvin' views on time, and better time + than they do to meetin',” sez I. “In your opinin' it hain't necessary to + beat a drum and sound on a bugle as the Salvation Army duz, to call folks + to meetin'; you are dretful hard on them, so I hear.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, they make a senseless, vulgar, onnecessary racket, disturbin' and + agrivatin' to saint and sinner.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” sez I, “they say they do it for the sake of religion.” + </p> + <p> + “Religion hain't to be found in drum-sticks,” sez he bitterly. + </p> + <p> + “No,” sez I, “nor in a bell clapper.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh,” sez he, “that is a different thing entirely, that is to call + worshippers together, that is necessary.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “One hain't no more necessary than the other in my opinion.” + </p> + <p> + Sez he, “Look how fur back in the past the sweet bells have sounded out.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez I candidly, “and in the sweet past they wuz necessary,” sez I. + “In the sweet past, there wuzn't a clock nor a watch, the houses wuz fur + apart, and they needed bells. But now there hain't a house but what is + runnin' over with clocks—everybody knows the time; they know it so + much that time is fairly a drug to 'em. Why, they time themselves right + along through the day, from breakfast to midnight. Time their meals, their + business, their pleasures, their music, their lessons, their visits, their + visitors, their pulse beats, and their dead beats. They time their joys + and their sorrows, and everything and everybody, all through the week, and + why should they stop short off Sundays? Why not time themselves on goin' + to meetin'? They do, and you know it. There hain't no earthly need of the + bells to tell the time to go to meetin', no more than there is to tell the + time to put on the tea-kettle to get supper. If folks want to go to + meetin' they will get there, bells or no bells, and if they don't want to + go, bells hain't a-goin' to get 'em started. + </p> + <p> + “Take a man with the Sunday <i>World</i> jest brung in, a-layin' on a + lounge, with his feet up in a chair, and kinder lazy in the first place, + bells hain't a-goin' to start him. + </p> + <p> + “And take a woman with her curl papers not took down, and a new religeus + novel in her hand, and a miliner that disapinted her the night before, and + bells hain't a-goin' to start her. No, the great bell of Moscow won't + start 'em. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="100.jpg (55K)" src="images/100.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “And take a good Christian woman, a widow, for instance, who loves church + work, and has a good handsome Christian pasture, who is in trouble, lost + his wife, mebby, or sunthin' else bad, and the lack of bells hain't + a-goin' to keep that women back, no, not if there wuzn't a bell on earth.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, wall, wavin' off that side of the subject,” sez he (I had convinced + him, I know, but he wouldn't own it, for he knew well that if folks wanted + to go they always got there, bells or no bells). “But,” sez he wavin' off + that side of the subject, “the observance is so time honored, so hallowed + by tender memories and associations all through the past.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't you 'spoze, Deacon Garven,” sez I, “that I know every single + emotion them bells can bring to anybody, and felt all those memorys and + associations. I'll bet, or I wouldn't be afraid to bet, if I believed in + bettin', that there hain't a single emotion in the hull line of emotions + that the sound of them bells can wake up, but what I have felt, and felt + 'em deep too, jest as deep as anybody ever did, and jest es many of 'em. + But it is better for me to do without a upliftin', soarin' sort of a + feelin' ruther than have other people suffer agony.” + </p> + <p> + “Agony!” sez he, “talk about their causin' agony, when there hain't a more + heavenly sound on earth.” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="101.jpg (124K)" src="images/101.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “So it has been to me,” sez I candidly. “To me they have always sounded + beautiful, heavenly. Why,” sez I, a-lookin' kinder fur off, beyond Deacon + Garven, and all other troubles, as thoughts of beauty and insperation come + to me borne out of the past into my very soul, by the tender memories of + the bells—thoughts of the great host of believers who had gathered + together at the sound of the bells—the great army of the Redeemed— + </p> + <p> + 'Some of the host have crossed the flood,<br /> and some are crossin' now,' + </p> + <p> + thinks I a-lookin' way off in a almost rapped way. And then I sez to + Deacon Garven in a low soft voice, lower and more softer fur, than I had + used to him, + </p> + <p> + “Don't I know what it is to stand a-leanin' over the front gate on a still + spring mornin', the smell of the lilacs in the air, and the brier roses. A + dew sparklin' on the grass under the maples, and the sunshine a-fleckin' + the ground between 'em, and the robins a-singin' and the hummin' birds + a-hoverin' round the honeysuckles at the door. And over all and through + all, and above all clear and sweet, comin' from fur off a-floatin' through + the Sabbath stillness, the sound of the bells, a-bringin' to us sweet + Sabbath messages of love and joy. Bringin' memories too, of other mornin's + as fair and sweet, when other ears listened with us to the sound, other + eyes looked out on the summer beauty, and smiled at the sound of the + bells. Heavenly emotions, sweet emotions come to me on the melody of the + bells, peaceful thoughts, inspirin' thoughts of the countless multitude + that has flocked together at the sound of the bells. The aged feet, the + eager youthful feet, the children's feet, all, all walkin' to the sound of + the bells. Thoughts of the happy youthful feet that set out to walk side + by side, at their ringin' sounds. Thoughts of the aged ones grown tired, + and goin' to their long dreamless sleep to their solemn sound. Thoughts of + the brave hero's who set out to protect us with their lives while the + bells wuz ringin' out their approval of such deeds. Thoughts of how they + pealed out joyfully on their return bearin' the form of Peace. Thoughts of + how the bells filled the mornin' and evenin' air, havin' throbbed and beat + with every joy and every pain of our life, till they seem a part of us (as + it were) and the old world would truly seem lonesome without 'em. + </p> + <p> + “As I told you, and told you truly, I don't believe there is a single + emotion in the hull line of emotions, fur or near, but what them bells + have rung into my very soul. + </p> + <p> + “But such emotions, beautiful and inspirin' though they are, can be + dispensed with better than justice and mercy can. Sweet and tender + sentiment is dear to me, truly, near and dear, but mercy and pity and + common sense, have also a powerful grip onto my right arm, and have to + lead me round a good deal of the time. + </p> + <p> + “Beautiful emotion, when it stands opposed to eternal justice, ort to step + gently aside and let justice have a free road. Sentiment is truly sweet, + but any one can get along without it, take it right along through the + year, better than they can without sleep. + </p> + <p> + “You see if you can't sleep you must die, while a person can worry along a + good many years without sentiment. Or, that is, I have been told they + could. I don't know by experience, for I have always had a real lot of it. + You see my experience has been such that I could keep sentiment and + comfort too. But my mind is such, that I have to think of them that hain't + so fortunate as I am. + </p> + <p> + “I have looked at the subject from my own standpoint, and have tried also + to look at it through others' eyes, which is the only way we can get a + clear, straight light on any subject. As for me, as I have said, I would + love to hear the sweet, far off sound of the bells a-tremblin' gently over + the hills to me from Jonesville; it sounds sweeter to me than the voices + of the robins and swallers, a-comin' home from the South in the spring of + the year. And I would deerly love to have it go on and on as fur as my own + feelins are concerned. But I have got to look at the subject through the + tired eyes, and feel it through the worn-out nerves of others, who are sot + down right under the wild clamor of the bells. + </p> + <p> + “What comes to me as a heavenly melody freighted full of beautiful + sentiment and holy rapture comes to them as an intolerable agony, + a-maddenin' discord, that threatens their sanity, that rouses 'em up from + their fitful sleep, that murders sleep—the bells to them seem + murderus, strikin' noisily with brazen hands, at their hearts. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="102.jpg (134K)" src="images/102.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “To them tossin' on beds of nervous sufferin', who lay for hours fillin' + the stillness with horror, with dread of the bells, where fear and dread + of 'em exceed the agony of the clangor of the sound when it comes at last. + Long nights full of a wakeful horror and expectency, fur worse than the + realization of their imaginin's. To them the bells are a instrument of + torture jest as tuff to bear as any of the other old thumb screws and + racks that wrung and racked our old 4 fathers in the name of Religion. + </p> + <p> + “I have to think of the great crowd of humanity huddled together right + under the loud clangor of the bells whose time of rest begins when the sun + comes up, who have toiled all night for our comfort and luxury. So we can + have our mornin' papers brought to us with our coffee. So we can have the + telegraphic messages, bringing us good news with our toast. So's we can + have some of our dear ones come to us from distant lands in the morning. I + must think of them who protect us through the night so we can sleep in + peace. + </p> + <p> + “Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of these, our helpers and benafacters, + work all night for our sakes, work and toil. The least we can do for these + is to help 'em to the great Restorer, sleep, all we can. + </p> + <p> + “Some things we can't do; we can't stop the creakin' sounds of the world's + work; the big roar of the wheel of business that rolls through the week + days, can't be oiled into stillness; but Sundays they might get a little + rest Sunday is the only day of rest for thousands of men and wimmen, + nervous, pale, worn by their week's hard toil. + </p> + <p> + “The creakin' of the wheels of traffic are stopped on this day. They could + get a little of the rest they need to carry on the fight of life to help + support wife, child, father, husband; but religeon is too much for 'em—the + religeon that the Bible declares is mild, peacible, tender. It clangs and + bangs and whangs at 'em till the day of rest is a torment. + </p> + <p> + “Now the Lord wouldn't approve of this. I know He wouldn't, for He was + always tender and pitiful full of compassion. I called it religeon for + oritory, but it hain't religeon, it is a relict of old Barberism who, + under the cloak of Religeon, whipped quakers and hung prophetic souls, + that the secrets of Heaven had been revealed to, secrets hidden from the + coarser, more sensual vision.” + </p> + <p> + Sez Deacon Garven: “I consider the bells as missionarys. They help spread + the Gospel.” + </p> + <p> + “And,” sez I, for I waz full of my subject, and kep him down to it all I + could, “Ralph S. Robinson has spread the Gospel over acres and acres of + land, and brung in droves and droves of sinners into the fold without the + help of church or steeple, let alone bells, and it seems es if he ortn't + to be tortured to death now by 'em.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” he said, “he viewed 'em as Gospel means, and he couldn't, with his + present views of his duty to the Lord, omit 'em.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “The Lord didn't use 'em. He got along without 'em.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” he said, “it wuz different times now.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “The Lord, if He wuz here to-day, Deacon Garven, if He had bent + over that form racked with pain and sufferin' and that noise of any kind + is murderous to, He would help him, I know He would, for He wuz good to + the sick, and tender hearted always.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall, <i>I</i> will help him,” sez Deacon Garven, “I will watch, and I + will pray, and I will work for him.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Will you promise me not to ring the bells to-morrow mornin'; if he + gets into any sleep at all durin' the 24 hours, it is along in the + mornin', and I think if we could keep him asleep, say all the forenoon, + there would be a chance for him. Will you promise me?” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez he kinder meltin' down a little, “I will talk with the + bretheren.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Promise me, Deacon Eben Garven, before you see 'em.” + </p> + <p> + Sez he, “I would, but I am so afraid of bringin' the Cause of Religeon + into contempt. And I dread meddlin' with the old established rules of the + church.” + </p> + <p> + Sez I, “Mercy and justice and pity wuz set up on earth before bells wuz, + and I believe it is safe to foller 'em.” + </p> + <p> + But he wouldn't promise me no further than to talk with the bretheren, and + I had to leave him with that promise. As things turned out afterwuds, I + wuz sorry, sorry es a dog that I didn't shet up Deacon Garven in his own + smoke house, or cause him to be shet, and mount a guard over him, armed + nearly to the teeth with clubs. + </p> + <p> + But I didn't, and I relied some on the bretheren. + </p> + <p> + Ralph wuz dretful wild all the forepart of the night. He'd lay still for a + few minutes, and then he would get all rousted up, and he would set up in + bed and call out some words in that strange tongue. And he would lift up + his poor weak right arm, strong then in his fever, and preach long sermons + in that same strange curius language. He would preach his sermon right + through, earnest and fervent as any sermon ever wuz. I would know it by + the looks of his face. And then he would sometimes sing a little in that + same singular language, and then he would lay down for a spell. + </p> + <p> + But along towards mornin' I see a change, his fever seemed to abate and go + down some—very gradual, till just about the break of day, he fell + into a troubled sleep—or it wuz a troubled sleep at first—but + growin' deeper and more peaceful every minute. And along about eight + o'clock he wuz a-sleepin' sweet for the first time durin' his sickness; it + wuz a quiet restful sleep, and some drops of presperation and sweat could + be seen on his softened features. + </p> + <p> + We all wuz as still, almost, as if we wuz automatoes, we wuz so afraid of + makin' a speck of noise to disturb him. We kep almost breathless, in our + anxiety to keep every mite of noise out of his room. But I did whisper to + Rosy in a low still voice— + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="103.jpg (133K)" src="images/103.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Your father is saved, the Lord be praised, we shall pull him through.” + </p> + <p> + She jest dropped onto her knees, and laid her head in my lap and cried and + wept, but soft and quiet so's it wouldn't disturb a mice. + </p> + <p> + Miss Timson wuz a-prayin', I could see that. She wuz a-returnin' thanks to + the Lord for his mercy. + </p> + <p> + As for me, I sot demute, in that hushed and darkened room, a-watchin' + every shadow of a change that might come to his features, with a teaspoon + ready to my hand, to give him nourishment at the right time if he needed + it, or medicine. + </p> + <p> + When all of a sudden—slam! bang! rush! roar! slam! slam! ding! dong! + bang!!! come right over our heads the wild, deafening clamor of the bells. + </p> + <p> + Ralph started up wilder than ever because of his momentary repose. He + never knew us, nor anything, from that time on, and after sufferin' for + another 24 hours, sufferin' that made us all willin' to have it stop, he + died. + </p> + <p> + And so he who had devoted his hull life to religeon wuz killed by it. He + who had gin his hull life for the true, wuz murdered by the false. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="104.jpg (158K)" src="images/104.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + His last move wuz to spread out his hands, and utter a few of them strange + words, as if in benediction over a kneelin' multitude. And I thought then, + and I think still, that he wuz pronouncin' a benediction on the savages. + And I have always hoped that the mercy he besought from on High at that + last hour brought down God's pity and forgiveness on all benighted + savages, and bigoted ones, Deacon Garven, and the hull on 'em. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c25" id="c25"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="105c25.jpg (104K)" src="images/105c25.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XXV. + </p> + <p> + The very next day after I got home from Miss Timson'ses, we wimmen all met + to the meetin' house agin as usial, for we knew very well that the very + hardest and most arjuous part of our work lay before us. + </p> + <p> + For if it had been hard and tuckerin' to what it seemed the utmost limit + of tucker, to stand up on a lofty barell, and lift up one arm, and scrape + the ceilin', what would it be, so we wildly questioned our souls, and each + other, to stand up on the same fearful hites, and lift <i>both</i> arms + over our heads, and get on them fearful lengths of paper smooth. + </p> + <p> + I declare, when the hull magnitude of the task we had tackled riz before + us, it skairt the hull on us, and nuthin' but our deathless devotion to + the Methodist meetin' house, kep us from startin' off to our different + homes on the run. + </p> + <p> + But lovin' it as we did, as the very apples in our eyes, and havin' in our + constant breasts a determinate to paper that meetin' house, or die in the + attempt, we made ready to tackle it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="106.jpg (38K)" src="images/106.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Yet such wuz the magnitude of the task, and our fearful apprehensions, + that after we had looked the ceilin' all over, and examined the paper—we + all sot down, as it were, instinctivly, and had a sort of a conference + meetin' (we had to wait for the paste to bile anyway, it wuz bein' made + over the stove in the front entry). And he would lift up his poor weak + right arm, strong then in his fever, and preach long sermons in that same + strange curius language. He would preach his sermon right through, earnest + and fervent as any sermon ever wuz. I would know it by the looks of his + face. And then he would sometimes sing a little in that same singular + language, and then he would lay down for a spell. + </p> + <p> + But along towards mornin' I see a change, his fever seemed to abate and go + down some—very gradual, till just about the break of day, he fell + into a troubled sleep—or it wuz a troubled sleep at first—but + growin' deeper and more peaceful every minute. And along about eight + o'clock he wuz a-sleepin' sweet for the first time durin' his sickness; it + wuz a quiet restful sleep, and some drops of presperation and sweat could + be seen on his softened features. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="107.jpg (158K)" src="images/107.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + We all wuz as still, almost, as if we wuz automatoes, we wuz so afraid of + makin' a speck of noise to disturb him. We kep almost breathless, in our + anxiety to keep every mite of noise out of his room. But I did whisper to + Rosy in a low still voice—it middlin calm, and Miss Gowdy offered to + be the one to carry it back to Jonesville, and change it that very + afternoon—for we could not afford to buy a new one, and we had the + testimony of as many as twenty-one or two pairs of eyes, that the handle + didn't come out by our own carelessness, but by its own inherient weakness—so + we spozed he would swap it, we spozed so. But it wuz arrainged before we + disbanded (the result of our conference), that the next mornin' we would + each one on us bring our offerin's to the fair, and hand 'em in to the + treasurer, so's she would know in time what to depend on, and what she had + to do with. + </p> + <p> + And we agreed (also the result of our conference) that we would, each one + on us, tell jest how we got the money and things to give to the fair. + </p> + <p> + And then we disbanded and started off home but I'll bet that each one on + us, in a sort of secret unbeknown way, gin a look on that lofty ceilin', + them dangerus barells, and that pile of paper, and groaned a low + melancholy groan all to herself. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="108.jpg (59K)" src="images/108.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + I know I did, and I know Submit Tewksbury did, for I stood close to her + and heard her. But then to be exactly jest, and not a mite underhanded, I + ort mebby to say, that her groan may be caused partly by the fact that + that aniversery of hern wuz a-drawin' so near. Yes, the very next day wuz + the day jest 20 years ago that Samuel Danker went away from Submit + Tewksbury to heathen lands. Yes, the next day wuz the one that she always + set the plate on for him—the gilt edged chiny with pink sprigs. + </p> + <p> + But I'll bet that half or three quarters of that low melancholy groan of + her'n wuz caused by the hardness of the job that loomed up in front of us, + and the hull of mine wuz. + </p> + <p> + Wall, that night Josiah Allen wuz a-feelin' dretful neat, fer he had sold + our sorell colt for a awful big price. + </p> + <p> + It wuz a good colt; its mother wuz took sick when it wuz a few days old, + and we had brung it up as a corset, or ruther I did, fer Josiah Allen at + that time had the rheumatiz to that extent that he couldn't step his foot + on the floor for months, so the care of the corset come on me, most the + hull on it, till it got big enough to run out in the lot and git its own + livin'. + </p> + <p> + Night after night I used to get up and warm milk for it, when it wuz very + small, for it wuz weakly, and we didn't know as we could winter it. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="109.jpg (139K)" src="images/109.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + We kep it in a little warm shed offen the wood house for quite a spell, + but still I used to find it considerable cold when I would meander out + there in a icy night to feed it. But jest as it is always the way with + wimmen, the more care I took on it, the more it needed me and depended on + me, the better I liked it. + </p> + <p> + Till I got to likin' it so well that it wuzn't half so hard a job for me + to go out to feed it in the night as it would have been to laid still in + my warm bed and think mebby it wuz cold and hungry. + </p> + <p> + So I would pike out and feed it two or three times a night. + </p> + <p> + That is the nater of wimmen, the weaker it wuz and the humblier it wuz, + and the more it needed me, the more I thought on it. + </p> + <p> + And as is the nater of man, Josiah Allen didn't seem to care so much about + it while it wuz weak and humbly and spindlin'. + </p> + <p> + He told me time and agin, that I couldn't save it, and it never would + amount to anythin', and wuzn't nothin' but legs any way, and lots of other + slightin' remarks. And he'd call it “horse corset” in a kind of a light, + triflin' way, that wuz apt to gaul a woman when she come back with icy + night-gown and frosty toes and fingers, way along in the night. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="110.jpg (134K)" src="images/110.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + He'd wake up, a-layin' there warm and comfortable on his soft goose + feather piller and say to me: “Been out to tend to your 'horse corset,' + have you?” + </p> + <p> + “<i>Horse corset</i>! 'Wall, what if it wuz?” + </p> + <p> + Such language way along in the night, from a warm comfortable pardner to a + cold one, is apt to make some words back and forth. + </p> + <p> + And then he'd speak of its legs agin, in the most slightin' terms—and + he'd ask me if didn't want its picter took—etc., etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + (I believe one thing that ailed Josiah Allen wuz he didn't want me to get + up and get my feet so cold). + </p> + <p> + But, as I wuz a-sayin', though I couldn't deny some of his words, for + truly its legs did seem to be at the least calculation a yard and a half + long, specilly in the night, why they'd look fairly pokerish. + </p> + <p> + And though I knew it wuz humbly still I persevered, and at last it got to + thrivin' and growin' fast. And the likelier it grew, and the stronger, and + the handsomer, so Josiah Allen's likin' for it grew and increased, till he + got to settin' a sight of store by it. + </p> + <p> + And now it wuz a two-year-old, and he had sold it for two hundred and + fifteen dollars. It wuz spozed it wuz goin' to make a good trotter. + </p> + <p> + Wall, seem' he had got such a big price for the colt, and knowin' well + that I wuz the sole cause of its bein' alive at this day, I felt that it + wuz the best time in the hull three hundred and sixty-five days of the + year to tackle him for sunthin' to give to the fair. I felt that the least + he could do would be to give me ten or fifteen dollars for it. So + consequently after supper wuz out of the way, and the work done up, I + tackled him. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="c26" id="c26"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="111c26.jpg (104K)" src="images/111c26.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XXVI. + </p> + <p> + He wuz jest a-countin' out his money prior to puttin' it away in his tin + box, and I laid the subject before him strong and eloquent, jest the wants + and needs of the meetin' house, and jest how hard we female sisters wuz + a-workin', and jest how much we needed some money to buy our ingregiencies + with for the fair. + </p> + <p> + He set still, a-countin' out his money, but I know he heard me. There wuz + four fifty dollar bills, a ten, and a five, and I felt that at the very + least calculation he would hand me out the ten or the five, and mebby both + on 'em. + </p> + <p> + But he laid 'em careful in the box, and then pulled out his old + pocket-book out of his pocket, and handed me a ten cent piece. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="112.jpg (128K)" src="images/112.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + I wuz mad. And I hain't a-goin' to deny that we had some words. Or at + least I said some words to him, and gin him a middlin' clear idee of how I + felt on the subject. + </p> + <p> + Why, the colt wuz more mine than his in the first place, and I didn't want + a cent of money for myself, but only wanted it for the good of the + Methodist meetin' house, which he ort to be full as interested in as I + wuz. + </p> + <p> + Yes, I gin him a pretty lucid idee of what my feelin's wuz on the subject—and + spozed mebby I had convinced him. I wuz a-standin' with my back to him, + a-ironin' a shirt for him, when I finished up my piece of mind. And + thought more'n as likely as not he'd break down and be repentent, and hand + me out a ten dollar bill. + </p> + <p> + But no, he spoke out as pert and cheerful as anything and sez he: + </p> + <p> + “Samantha, I don't think it is necessary for Christians to give such a + awful sight. Jest look at the widder's mit.” + </p> + <p> + I turned right round and looked at him, holdin' my flat-iron in my right + hand, and sez I: + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean, Josiah Allen? What are you talkin' about?” + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="113.jpg (140K)" src="images/113.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + “Why the widder's mit that is mentioned in Scripter, and is talked about + so much by Christians to this day. Most probable it wuz a odd one, I dare + persume to say she had lost the mate to it. It specilly mentions that + there wuzn't but one on 'em. And jest see how much that is talked over, + and praised up clear down the ages, to this day. It couldn't have been + worth more'n five cents, if it wuz worth that.” + </p> + <p> + “How do you spell mit, Josiah Allen?” sez I. + </p> + <p> + “Why m-i-t-e, mit.” + </p> + <p> + “I should think,” sez I, “that that spells mite.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh well, when you are a-readin' the Bible, all the best commentaters + agree that you must use your own judgment. Mite! What sense is there in + that? Widder's mite! There hain't any sense in it, not a mite.” + </p> + <p> + And Josiah kinder snickered here, as if he had made a dretful cute remark, + bringin' the “mite” in in that way. But I didn't snicker, no, there wuzn't + a shadow, or trace of anything to be heard in my linement, but solemn and + bitter earnest. And I set the flat-iron down on the stove, solemn, and + took up another, solemn, and went to ironin' on his shirt collar agin with + solemnety and deep earnest. “No,” Josiah Allen continued, “there hain't no + sense in that—but mit! there you have sense. All wimmen wear mits; + they love 'em. She most probable had a good pair, and lost one on 'em, and + then give the other to the church. I tell you it takes men to translate + the Bible, they have such a realizin' sense of the weaknesses of wimmen, + and how necessary it is to translate it in such a way as to show up them + weaknesses, and quell her down, and make her know her place, make her know + that man is her superior in every way, and it is her duty as well as + privilege to look up to him.” + </p> + <p> + And Josiah Allen crossed his left leg over his right one, as haughty and + over bearin' a-crossin' as I ever see in my life, and looked up haughtily + at the stove-pipe hole in the ceilin', and resoomed, + </p> + <p> + “But, as I wuz sayin' about her mit, the widder's, you know. That is jest + my idee of givin', equinomical, savin', jest as it should be.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” sez I, in a very dry axent, most as dry as my flat-iron, and that + wuz fairly hissin' hot. “She most probable had some man to advise her, and + to tell her what use the mit would be to support a big meetin' house.” Oh, + how dry my axent wuz. It wuz the very dryest, and most irony one I keep by + me—and I keep dretful ironikle ones to use in cases of necessity. + </p> + <p> + “Most probable,” sez Josiah, “most probable she did.” He thought I wuz + praisin' men up, and he acted tickled most to death. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, some man without any doubt, advised her, told her that some other + widder would lose one of hern, and give hers to the meetin' house, jest + the mate to hern. That is the way I look at it,” sez he “and I mean to + mention that view of mine on this subject the very next time they take up + a subscription in the meetin' house and call on me.” + </p> + <p> + But I turned and faced him then with the hot flat-iron in my hand, and + burnin' indignation in my eys, and sez I: + </p> + <p> + “If you mention that, Josiah Allen, in the meetin' house, or to any livin' + soul on earth, I'll part with you.” And I would, if it wuz the last move I + ever made. + </p> + <p> + But I gin up from that minute the idea of gettin' anything out of Josiah + Allen for the fair. But I had some money of my own that I had got by + sellin' three pounds of geese feathers and a bushel of dried apples, every + feather picked by me, and every quarter of apple pared and peeled and + strung and dried by me. It all come to upwerds of seven dollars, and I + took every cent of it the next day out of my under bureau draw and carried + it to the meetin' house and gin it to the treasurer, and told 'em, at the + request of the hull on 'em, jest how I got the money. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="114.jpg (41K)" src="images/114.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And so the hull of the female sisters did, as they handed in their money, + told jest how they come by it. + </p> + <p> + Sister Moss had seated three pairs of children's trouses for young Miss + Gowdy, her children are very hard on their trouses (slidin' down the + banesters and such). And young Miss Gowdy is onexperienced yet in mendin', + so the patches won't show. And Sister Moss had got forty-seven cents for + the job, and brung it all, every cent of it, with the exception of three + cents she kep out to buy peppermint drops with. She has the colic fearful, + and peppermint sometimes quells it. + </p> + <p> + Young Miss Gowdy wuz kep at home by some new, important business (twins). + But she sent thirty-two cents, every cent of money she could rake and + scrape, and that she had scrimped out of the money her husband had gin her + for a woosted dress. She had sot her heart on havin' a ruffle round the + bottom (he didn't give her enough for a overshirt), but she concluded to + make it plain, and sent the ruffle money. + </p> + <p> + And young Sister Serena Nott had picked geese for her sister, who married + a farmer up in Zoar. She had picked ten geese at two cents apiece, and + Serena that tender-hearted that it wuz like pickin' the feathers offen her + own back. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="115.jpg (54K)" src="images/115.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And then she is very timid, and skairt easy, and she owned up that while + the pickin' of the geese almost broke her heart, the pickin' of the + ganders almost skairt her to death. They wuz very high headed and warlike, + and though she put a stockin' over their heads, they would lift 'em right + up, stockin' and all, and hiss, and act, and she said she picked 'em at + what seemed to her to be at the resk of her life. + </p> + <p> + But she loved the meetin' house, so she grin and bore it, as the sayin' + is, and she brung the hull of her hard earned money, and handed it over to + the treasurer, and everybody that is at all educated knows that twice ten + is twenty. She brung twenty cents. + </p> + <p> + Sister Grimshaw had, and she owned it right out and out, got four dollars + and fifty-three cents by sellin' butter on the sly. She had took it out of + the butter tub when Brother Grimshaw's back wuz turned, and sold it to the + neighbors for money at odd times through the year, and besides gettin' her + a dress cap (for which she wuz fairly sufferin'), she gin the hull to the + meetin' house. + </p> + <p> + There wuz quite dubersome looks all round the room when she handed in the + money and went right out, for she had a errent to the store. + </p> + <p> + And Sister Gowdy spoke up and said she didn't exactly like to use money + got in that way. + </p> + <p> + But Sister Lanfear sprunted up, and brung Jacob right into the argument, + and the Isrealites who borrowed jewelry of the Egyptians, and then she + brung up other old Bible characters, and held 'em up before us. + </p> + <p> + But still we some on us felt dubersome. And then another sister spoke up + and said the hull property belonged to Sister Grimshaw, every mite of it, + for he wuzn't worth a cent when he married her—she wuz the widder + Bettenger, and had a fine property. And Grimshaw hadn't begun to earn what + he had spent sense (he drinks). So, sez she, it all belongs to Sister + Grimshaw, by right. + </p> + <p> + Then the sisters all begin to look less dubersome. But I sez: + </p> + <p> + “Why don't she come out openly and take the money she wants for her own + use, and for church work, and charity?” + </p> + <p> + “Because he is so hard with her,” sez Sister Lanfear, “and tears round so, + and cusses, and commits so much wickedness. He is willin' she should dress + well—wants her to—and live well. But he don't want her to + spend a cent on the meetin' house. He is a atheist, and he hain't willin' + she should help on the Cause of religeon. And if he knows of her givin' + any to the Cause, he makes the awfulest fuss, scolds, and swears, and + threatens her, so's she has been made sick by it, time and agin.” + </p> + <p> + “Wall,” sez I, “what business is it to him what she does with her own + money and her own property?” + </p> + <p> + I said this out full and square. But I confess that I did feel a little + dubersome in my own mind. I felt that she ort to have took it more openly. + </p> + <p> + And Sister Grimshaw's sister Amelia, who lives with her (onmarried and + older than Sister Grimshaw, though it hain't spozed to be the case, for + she has hopes yet, and her age is kep). She had been and contoggled three + days and a half for Miss Elder Minkley, and got fifty cents a day for + contogglin'. + </p> + <p> + She had fixed over the waists of two old dresses, and contoggled a old + dress skirt so's it looked most as well as new. Amelia is a good + contoggler and a good Christian. And I shouldn't be surprised any day to + see her snatched away by some widower or bachelder of proper age. She + would be willin', so it is spozed. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Sister Henn kinder relented at the last, and brung two pairs of + fowls, all picked, and tied up by their legs. And we thought it wuz kinder + funny and providential that one Henn should bring four more of'em. + </p> + <p> + But we wuz tickled, for we knew we could sell 'em to the grocer man at + Jonesville for upwerds of a dollar bill. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="116.jpg (48K)" src="images/116.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And Submit Tewksbury, what should that good little creeter bring, and we + couldn't any of us hardly believe our eyes at first, and think she could + part with it, but she did bring <i>that plate</i>. That pink edged, chiny + plate, with gilt sprigs, that she had used as a memorial of Samuel Danker + for so many years. Sot it up on the supper table and wept in front of it. + </p> + <p> + Wall, she knew old china like that would bring a fancy price, and she + hadn't a cent of money she could bring, and she wanted to do her full part + towerds helpin' the meetin' house along—so she tore up her memorial, + a-weepin' on it for hours, so we spozed, and offered it up, a burnt chiny + offerin' to the Lord. + </p> + <p> + Wall, I am safe to say, that nothin' that had took place that day had + begun to affect us like that. + </p> + <p> + To see that good little creeter lookin' pale and considerble wan, hand in + that plate and never groan over it, nor nothin', not out loud she didn't, + but we spozed she kep up a silent groanin' inside of her, for we all knew + the feelin' she felt for the plate. + </p> + <p> + It affected all on us fearfully. + </p> + <p> + But the treasurer took it, and thanked her almost warmly, and Submit + merely sez, when she wuz thanked: “Oh, you are entirely welcome to it, and + I hope it will fetch a good price, so's to help the cause along.” + </p> + <p> + And then she tried to smile a little mite. But I declare that smile wuz + more pitiful than tears would have been. + </p> + <p> + Everybody has seen smiles that seemed made up, more than half, of unshed + tears, and withered hopes, and disappointed dreams, etc., etc. + </p> + <p> + Submit's smile wuz of that variety, one of the very curiusest of 'em, too. + Wall, she gin, I guess, about two of 'em, and then she went and sot down. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c27" id="c27"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="117c27.jpg (99K)" src="images/117c27.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XXVII. + </p> + <p> + And now I am goin' to relate the very singulerist thing that ever happened + in Jonesville, or the world—although it is eppisodin' to tell on it + now, and also a-gettin' ahead of my story, and hitchin', as you may say, + my cart in front of my horse. But it has got to be told and I don't know + but I may as well tell it now as any time. + </p> + <p> + Mebby you won't believe it. I don't know as I should myself, if it wuz + told to me, that is, if it come through two or three. But any way it is + the livin' truth. + </p> + <p> + That very night as Submit Tewksbury sat alone at her supper table, + a-lookin' at that vacent spot on the table-cloth opposite to her, where + the plate laid for Samuel Danher had set for over twenty years, she heard + a knock at the door, and she got up hasty and wiped away her tears and + opened the door. A man stood there in the cold a-lookin' into the warm + cosy little room. He didn't say nothin', he acted strange. He gin Submit a + look that pierced clear to her heart (so they say). A look that had in it + the crystallized love and longin' of twenty years of faithfulness and + heart hunger and homesickness. It wuz a strange look. + </p> + <p> + Submit's heart begun to flutter, and her face grew red and then white, and + she sez in a little fine tremblin' voice, + </p> + <p> + “Who be you?” + </p> + <p> + And he sez, + </p> + <p> + “I am Samuel Danker.” + </p> + <p> + And then they say she fainted dead away, and fell over the rockin' chair, + he not bein' near enough to ketch her. + </p> + <p> + And he brung her to on a burnt feather that fell out of the chair cushion + when she fell. There wuz a small hole in it, so they say, and the feather + oozed out. + </p> + <p> + I don't tell this for truth, I only say that <i>they say</i> thus and so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="118.jpg (157K)" src="images/118.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + But as to Samuel's return, that I can swear to, and so can Josiah. And + that they wuz married that very night of his return, that too can be swore + to. A old minister who lived next door to Submit—superanuated, but + life enough in him to marry 'em safe and sound, a-performin' the ceremony. + </p> + <p> + It made a great stir in Jonesville, almost enormus. + </p> + <p> + But they wuz married safe enough, and happy as two gambolin' lambs, so + they say. Any way Submit looks ten years younger than she did, and I don't + know but more. I don't know but she looks eleven or twelve years younger, + and Samuel, why they say it is a perfect sight to see how happy he looks, + and how he has renewed his age. + </p> + <p> + The hull affair wuz very pleasin' to the Jonesvillians. Why there wuzn't + more'n one or two villians but what wuz fairly delighted by it, and they + wuz spozed to be envius. + </p> + <p> + And I drew severel morals from it, and drew 'em quite a good ways too, + over both religous and seckuler grounds. + </p> + <p> + One of the seekuler ones wuz drawed from her not settin' the table for him + that night, for the first time for twenty years, givin' away the plate, + and settin' on (with tears) only a stun chiny one for herself. How true it + is that if a female woman keeps dressed up slick, piles of extra good + cookin' on hand, and her house oncommon clean, and she sets down in a + rockin' chair, lookin' down the road for company. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="119.jpg (75K)" src="images/119.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + <i>They don't come!</i> + </p> + <p> + But let her on a cold mornin' leave her dishes onwashed, and her floors + onswept, and put on her husband's old coat over her meanest dress, and go + out (at his urgent request) to help him pick up apples before the frost + spiles 'em. She a-layin' out to cook up some vittles to put on to her + empty shelves when she goes into the house, she not a-dreamin' of company + at that time of day. + </p> + <p> + <i>They come!</i> + </p> + <p> + Another moral and a more religeus one. When folks set alone sheddin' tears + on their empty hands, that seem to 'em to be emptied of all hope and + happiness forever. Like es not some Divine Compensation is a-standin' + right on the door steps, ready to enter in and dwell with 'em. + </p> + <p> + Also that when Submit Tewksbury thought she had gin away for conscience' + sake, her dearest treasure, she had a dearer one gin to her—Samuel + Danker by name. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="120.jpg (140K)" src="images/120.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Also I drew other ones of various sizes, needless to recapitulate, for + time is hastenin', and I have eppisoded too fur, and to resoom, and take + up agin on my finger the thread of my discourse, that I dropped in the + Methodist meetin' house at Jonesville, in front of the treasurer. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Submit brought the plate. + </p> + <p> + Sister Nash brought twenty-three cents all in pennys, tied up in the + corner of a old handkercif. She is dretful poor, but she had picked up + these here and there doin' little jobs for folks. + </p> + <p> + And we hadn't hardly the heart to take 'em, nor the heart to refuse takin' + 'em, she wuz so set on givin' 'em. And it wuz jest so with Mahala Crane, + Joe Cranes'es widder. + </p> + <p> + She, too, is poor, but a Christian, if there ever wuz one. She had made + five pair of overhawls for the clothin' store in Loontown, for which she + had received the princely revenue of fifty cents. + </p> + <p> + She handed the money over to the treasurer, and we wuz all on us extremely + worked upon and wrought up to see her do it, for she did it with such a + cheerful air. And her poor old calico dress she had on wuz so thin and + wore out, and her dingy alpaca shawl wuz thin to mendin', and all darned + in spots. We all felt that Mahala had ort to took the money to get her a + new dress. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="121.jpg (118K)" src="images/121.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + But we dasted none on us to say so to her. I wouldn't have been the one to + tell her that for a dollar bill, she seemed to be so happy a-givin' her + part towerds the fair, and for the good of the meetin' house she loved. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Sister Meachim had earned two dollars above her wages—she is a + millinner by perswasion, and works at a millinner's shop in Jonesville. + She had earned the two dollars by stayin' and workin' nights after the + day's work wuz done. + </p> + <p> + And Sister Arvilly Lanfear had earned three dollars and twenty-eight cents + by canvassin' for a book. The name of the book wuz: “The Wild, Wicked, and + Warlike Deeds of Man.” + </p> + <p> + And Arvilly said she had took solid comfort a-sellin' it, though she had + to wade through snow and slush half way up to her knees some of the time, + a-trailin' round from house to house a-takin' orders fer it. She said she + loved to sell a book that wuz full of truth from the front page to the + back bindin'. + </p> + <p> + As for me I wouldn't gin a cent for the book, and I remember we had some + words when she come to our house with it. I told her plain that I wouldn't + buy no book that belittled my companion, or tried to—sez I, + “Arvilly, men are <i>jest</i> as good as wimmen and no better, not a mite + better.” + </p> + <p> + And Arvilly didn't like it, but I made it up to her in other ways. I gin + her some lamb's wool yarn for a pair of stockin's most immegictly + afterwerds, and a half bushel of but'nuts. She is dretful fond of + but'nuts. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="122.jpg (57K)" src="images/122.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Wall, Sister Shelmadine had sold ten pounds of maple sugar, and brought + the worth on it. + </p> + <p> + And Sister Henzy brung four dollars and a half, her husband had gin her + for another purpose, but she took it for this, and thought there wuzn't no + harm in it, as she laid out to go without the four dollars and a halt's + worth. It was fine shoes he had gin the money for, and she calculated to + make the old ones do. + </p> + <p> + And Sister Henzy's mother, old Miss Balch, she is eighty-three years old, + and has inflamatery rheumatiz in her hands, which makes 'em all swelled up + and painful. But Sister Henzy said her mother had knit three pairs of + fringed mittens (the hardest work for her hands she could have laid holt + of, and which must have hurt her fearful). But Miss Henzy said a neighbor + had offered her five dollars fer the three pairs, and so she felt it wuz + her duty to knit 'em, to help the fair along. She is a very strong + Methodist, and loved to forwerd the interests of Zion. + </p> + <p> + She wuz goin' to give every cent of the money to the meetin' house, so + Sister Henzy said, all but ten cents, that she <i>had</i> to have to get + Pond's Extract with, to bathe her hands. They wuz in a fearful state. We + all felt bad for old Miss Balch, and I don't believe there wuz a woman + there but what gin her some different receipt fer helpin' her hands, + besides sympathy, lots and lots of it, and pity. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Sister Sypher'ses husband is clost, very clost with her. She don't + have anythin' to give, only her labor, as well off as they be. And now he + wuz so wrapped up in that buzz saw mill business that she wouldn't have + dasted to approach him any way, that is, to ask him for a cent. + </p> + <p> + Wall, what should that good little creeter do but gin all the money she + had earned and saved durin' the past year or two, and had laid by for + emergincies or bunnets. + </p> + <p> + She had got over two dollars and seventy-five cents, which she handed + right over to the treasurer of the fair to get materials for fancy work. + When they wuz got she proposed to knit three pairs of men's socks out of + zephyr woosted, and she said she was goin' to try to pick enough + strawberrys to buy a pair of the socks for Deacon Sypher. She said it + would be a comfort for her to do it, for they would be so soft for the + Deacon's feet. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Sister Gowdy wuz the last one to gin in dress gin to her by her + uncle out to the Ohio. It wuz gin her to mourn for her mother-in-law in. + </p> + <p> + And what should that good, willin' creeter do but bring that dress and gin + it to the fair to sell. + </p> + <p> + We hated to take it, we hated to like dogs, for we knew Sister Gowdy + needed it. + </p> + <p> + But she would make us take it; she said “if her Mother Gowdy wuz alive, + she would say to her, + </p> + <p> + “Sarah Ann, I'd ruther not be mourned for in bombazeen than to have the + dear old meetin' house in Jonesville go to destruction. Sell the dress and + mourn fer me in a black calico.” + </p> + <p> + <i>That</i> Sister Gowdy said would be, she knew, what Mother Gowdy would + say to her if she wuz alive. + </p> + <p> + And we couldn't dispute Sarah Ann, for we all knew that old Miss Gowdy + worked for the meetin' house as long as she could work for anything. She + loved the Methodist meetin' house better than she loved husband or + children, though she wuz a good wife and mother. She died with cramps, and + her last request wuz to have this hymn sung to her funeral: + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="123.jpg (127K)" src="images/123.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <blockquote> + <p> + “I love thy kingdom, Lord,<br /> The house of thine abode,<br /> The + church our dear Redeemer bought<br /> With His most precious blood.” + </p> + </blockquote> + </blockquote> + <p> + The quire all loved Mother Gowdy, and sung it accordin' to her wishes, and + broke down, I well remember, at the third verse— + </p> + <blockquote> + <blockquote> + <p> + “For her my tears shall fall,<br /> For her my prayers ascend,<br /> For + her my toil and life be given,<br /> Till life and toil shall end.” + </p> + </blockquote> + </blockquote> + <p> + The quire broke down, and the minister himself shed tears to think how she + had carried out her belief all her life, and died with the thought of the + church she loved on her heart and its name on her lips. + </p> + <p> + Wall, the dress would sell at the least calculation for eight dollars; the + storekeeper had offered that, but Sarah Ann hoped it would bring ten to + the fair. + </p> + <p> + It wuz a cross to Sarah Ann, so we could see, for she had loved Mother + Gowdy dretful well, and loved the uncle who had gin it to her, and she + hadn't a nice black dress to her back. But she said she hadn't lived with + Mother Gowdy twenty years for nothin', and see how she would always + sacrifice anything and everything but principle for the good of the + meetin' house. + </p> + <p> + Sister Gowdy is a good-hearted woman, and we all on us honored her for + this act of hern, though we felt it wuz almost too much for her to do it. + </p> + <p> + Wall, Sister Gowdy wuz the last one to gin in her testimony, and havin' + got through relatin' our experiences we proceeded to business and + paperin'. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="c28" id="c28"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="124c28.jpg (111K)" src="images/124c28.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + CHAPTER XXVIII. + </p> + <p> + Sister Sylvester Bobbet and I had been voted on es the ones best qualified + to lead off in the arjeous and hazerdous enterprize. + </p> + <p> + And though we deeply felt the honor they wuz a-heapin' on to us, yet es it + hes been, time and agin, in other high places in the land, if it hadn't + been fer duty that wuz a-grippin' holt of us, we would gladly have shirked + out of it and gin the honor to some humble but worthy constituent. + </p> + <p> + Fer the lengths of paper wuz extremely long, the ceilin' fearfully high, + and oh! how lofty and tottlin' the barells looked to us. And we both on + us, Sister Sylvester Bobbet and I, had giddy and dizzy spells right on the + ground, let alone bein' perched up on barells, a-liftin' our arms up fur, + fur beyond the strength of their sockets. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="125.jpg (106K)" src="images/125.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + But duty wuz a-callin' us, and the other wimmen also, and it wuzn't for + me, nor Sister Sylvester Bobbet to wave her nor them off, or shirk out of + hazerdous and dangerous jobs when the good of the Methodist Meetin' House + wuz at the Bay. + </p> + <p> + No, with as lofty looks as I ever see in my life (I couldn't see my own, + but I felt 'em), and with as resolute and martyrous feelin's as ever + animated two wimmen's breasts, Sister Sylvester Bobbet and I grasped holt + of the length of paper, one on each end on it, Sister Arvilly Lanfear and + Miss Henzy a-holdin' it up in the middle like Aaron and Hur a-holdin' up + Moses'ses arms. We advanced and boldly mounted up onto our two barells, + Miss Gowdy and Sister Sypher a-holdin' two chairs stiddy for us to mount + up on. + </p> + <p> + Every eye in the meetin' house wuz on us. We felt nerved up to do our + best, even if we perished in so doin', and I didn't know some of the time + but we would fall at our two posts. The job wuz so much more wearin' and + awful than we had foreboded, and we had foreboded about it day and night + for weeks and weeks, every one on us. + </p> + <p> + The extreme hite of the ceilin'; the slipperyness and fragility of the + lengths of paper; the fearful hite and tottlin'ness of the barells; the + dizzeness that swept over us at times, in spite of our marble efforts to + be calm. The dretful achin' and strainin' of our armpits, that bid fair to + loosen 'em from their four sockets. The tremenjous responsibility that + laid onto us to get the paper on smooth and onwrinkled. + </p> + <p> + It wuz, takin' it altogether, the most fearful and wearisome hour of my + hull life. + </p> + <p> + Every female in the room held her breath in deathless anxiety (about + thirty breaths). And every eye in the room wuz on us (about fifty-nine + eyes—Miss Shelmadine hain't got but one workin' eye, the other is + glass, though it hain't known, and must be kep). + </p> + <p> + Wall, it wuz a-goin' on smooth and onwrinkled—smiles broke out on + every face, about thirty smiles—a half a minute more and it would be + done, and done well. When at that tryin' and decisive moment when the fate + of our meetin' house wuz, as you may say, at the stake, we heard the sound + of hurryin' feet, and the door suddenly opened, and in walked Josiah + Allen, Deacon Sypher, and Deacon Henzy followed by what seemed to me at + the time to be the hull male part of the meetin' house. + </p> + <p> + But we found out afterwerds that there wuz a few men in the meetin' house + that thought wimmen ort to set; they argued that when wimmen had been + standin' so long they out to set down; they wuz good dispositioned. But as + I sez at the time, it looked to us as if every male Methodist in the land + wuz there and present. + </p> + <p> + They wuz in great spirits, and their means wuz triumphant and satisfied. + </p> + <p> + They had jest got the last news from the Conference in New York village, + and had come down in a body to disseminate it to us. + </p> + <p> + They said the Methodist Conference had decided that the seven wimmen that + had been stood up there in New York for the last week, couldn't set, that + they wuz too weak and fraguile to set on the Conference. + </p> + <p> + And then the hull crowd of men, with smiles and haughty linements, beset + Josiah to read it out to us. + </p> + <p> + So Josiah Allen, with his face nearly wreathed with a smile, a blissful + smile, but as high headed a one as I ever see, read it all out to us. But + he should have to hurry, he said, for he had got to carry the great and + triumphant news all round, up as fur as Zoar, if he had time. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="126.jpg (143K)" src="images/126.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + And so he read it out to us, and as we see that that breadth wuz spilte, + we stopped our work for a minute and heard it. + </p> + <p> + And after he had finished it, they all said it wuz a masterly dockument, + the decision wuz a noble one, and it wuz jest what they had always said. + They said they had always known that wimmen wuz too weak, her frame wuz + too tender, she was onfitted by Nater, in mind and in body to contend with + such hardship. And they all agreed that it would be puttin' the men in a + bad place, and takin' a good deal offen their dignity, if the fair sex had + been allowed by them to take such hardships onto 'em. And they sez, some + on 'em, “Why! what are men in the Methodist meetin' house for, if it + hain't to guard the more weaker sect, and keep cares offen 'em?” + </p> + <p> + And one or two on 'em mentioned the words, “cooin' doves” and “sweet + tender flowerets,” as is the way of men at such times. But they wuz in too + big a hurry to spread themselves (as you may say) in this direction. They + had to hurry off to tell the great news to other places in Jonesville and + up as fer as Loontown and Zoar. + </p> + <p> + But Sister Arvilly Lanfear, who happened to be a-standin' in the door as + they went off, she said she heard 'em out as fer as the gate + a-congratilatin' themselves and the Methodist Meetin' House and the nation + on the decesion, for, sez they, + </p> + <p> + “Them angels hain't strong enough to set, and I've known it all the time.” + </p> + <p> + And Sister Sylvester Gowdy sez to me, a-rubbin' herachin' armpits— + </p> + <p> + “If they are as beet out as we be they'd be glad to set down on anything—a + Conference or anything else.” + </p> + <p> + And I sez, a-wipin' the presperatin of hard labor from my forwerd, + </p> + <p> + “For the land's sake! Yes! I should think so.” + </p> + <p> + And then with giddy heads and strainin' armpits we tackled the meetin' + house agin. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="127.jpg (100K)" src="images/127.jpg" style="width:100%;" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <a name="appendix" id="appendix"></a><br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + PUBLISHERS' APPENDIX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + In view of the frequent reference, in this work, to the discussion in and + preceding the General Conference of the Methodist Episcopal Church of + 1888, in regard to the admission of women delegates, the publishers have + deemed it desirable to append the six following addresses delivered on the + floor of the Conference during the progress of that discussion. + </p> + <p> + The General Conference of the Methodist Episcopal Church is the highest + legislative body of that denomination. It is composed of delegates, both + ministerial and lay, the former being elected by the Annual Conferences, + and the latter by Lay Electoral Conferences. The sessions of the General + Conference are held quadrennially. + </p> + <p> + Prior to the session held in May, 1888, in New York City, women delegates + were elected, one each, by the four following Lay Electoral Conferences—namely, + The Kansas Conference, The Minnesota Conference, The Pittsburgh + Conference, and The Rock River Conference. Protest was made against the + admission of these delegates on the ground that the admission of women + delegates was not in accord with the constitutional provisions of the + Church, embodied in what are termed the Restrictive Rules. A special + Committee on the Eligibility of Women to Membership in the General + Conference was appointed, consisting of seventeen members, to whom the + protest was referred. On May 3d the Committee reported adversely to the + admission of the four women delegates, the report alleging “that under the + Constitution and laws of the Church as they now are, women are not + eligible as lay delegates in the General Conference.” From the discussion + following this report, and lasting several days, the following six + addresses, three in favor of and three against the admission of the women + delegates, are selected and presented, with a few verbal corrections, as + published in the official journal of the Conference. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + ADDRESS OF REV. DR. THEODORE L. FLOOD. + </p> + <p> + I am in accord, in the main, with Dr. Potts and Dr. Brush in what they + have said on this question, unless it may be where my friend who last + spoke said that these ladies, these elected delegates to this body, ought + to be admitted. My judgment and my conscience before the Discipline of the + Methodist Episcopal Church and the Restrictive Rules is that these women + elected by these Electoral Conferences are in this General Conference. + </p> + <p> + Their names may not have been called when the roll was called, and yet it + was distinctly stated by the Bishop presiding that morning that they would + be called, and the challenges presented with their names; and afterward + demanded it, the names of these delegates who were not enrolled with the + others were called, and the protests were read. Their names have been + called as members of this body, and they are simply here as “challenged” + members. From that standpoint this question must be discussed, and any + disposition of this case under the circumstances must be in this + direction. These women delegates must be put out of this General + Conference if they are not granted the rights and privileges of members + here. It is not a question of “admitting” them. Before this report, before + the bar of history, we stand, and will be called upon to vote and act, and + millions of people will hold us responsible, and I dare say that our votes + will be recorded as to whether they shall be “put out” or “stay in.” + </p> + <p> + Why, sir, the government of the Methodist Episcopal Church exists for the + ministry and membership of the Church. The ministry and the membership of + the Church do not exist for the government. The world was made for man, + and not man for the world. That is the fundamental idea in the government + of God, as He treats us as human beings. That is the fundamental idea in + the government of the Methodist Episcopal Church, as we are enlisted in + the support of that government as ministers and members of the Church. Now + under this system of ecclesiastical government a time came in our history + when we submitted a grave question to the membership of the Church. It was + not a question simply of petition, asking the membership to send petitions + up to the General Conference. On the contrary, it was submitting a + constitutional question not simply to the male members of the Church, for + that grand and noble man of the Methodist Church, Dr. David Sherman of the + New England Conference, moved himself to strike out the word “male” from + the report of the Committee on Lay Delegation. It came to a vote, and it + was stricken out, two to one in the vote. When that was done, then the + General Conference of our Church submitted to the membership of the Church + the question of lay delegation. But back of the question of lay delegation + was as grave a question, and that was granting the right of suffrage to + the women of the Church. The General Conference assumed the responsibility + of giving to the women the right to vote. It may be questioned this way; + it may be explained that way; but the facts abide that the General + Conference granted to the women of the Church the right to vote on a great + and important question in ecclesiastical law. Now if you run a parallel + along the line of our government—and it has often been said that + there are parallels in the government of the United States corresponding + to lines of legislation and legislative action in the government of the + Church—you will find that the right of suffrage in the country at + the ballot-box has been a gradual growth. One of the most sacred rights + that a man, an American citizen, enjoys is the right to cast a ballot for + the man or men he would have legislate for him; and for no trivial reason + can that right, when once granted to the American citizen, be taken away + from him. Go to the State of Massachusetts, and trace the history of + citizen suffrage, and you find it commenced in this way: First, a man + could vote under the government there who was a member of the Church. + Next, he could vote if he were a freeholder. A little later on he could + vote if he paid a poll-tax. In the government, and under the legislation + of our Church, first the women were granted the right to vote on the + principle of lay delegation, not on the “plan” of lay delegation, but on + the “principle” of lay delegation. That was decided by Bishop Simpson in + the New Hampshire Conference, and by Bishop Janes afterward in one of the + New York Conferences. On the principle of lay delegation, the women of the + Church were granted the right of suffrage; presently they appeared in the + Quarterly Conference, to vote as class-leaders, stewards, and + Sunday-school superintendents; and it created a little excitement, a + feverish state of feeling in the Church, and the General Conference simply + passed a resolution or a rule interpreting that action on the part of + women claiming this privilege in the Quarterly Conference as being a + “right,” and it was continued. Presently, as the right of suffrage of + women passed on and grew, they voted in the Electoral Conferences, and + there was no outcry made against it. I have yet to hear of any Bishop in + the Church, or any presiding elder, or any minister challenging the right + of women to vote in Electoral Conferences or Quarterly Conferences; and + yet for sixteen years they have been voting in these bodies; voting to + send laymen here to legislate; to send laymen to the General Conference to + elect Bishops and Editors and Book Agents and Secretaries. They come to + where votes count in making up this body; they have been voting sixteen + years, and only now, when the logical result of the right of suffrage that + the General Conference gave to women appears and confronts us by women + coming here to vote as delegates, do we rise up and protest. I believe + that it is at the wrong time that the protest comes. It should have come + when the right to vote was granted to women in the Church. It is sixteen + years too late, and as was very wisely said by Dr. Potts, the objection + comes not so much from the Constitution of the Church as from the + “constitution of the men,” who challenge these women. + </p> + <p> + Now, sir, another parallel. You take the United States Government just + after the war, when the colored people of the South, the freedmen of our + land, unable to take care of themselves, their friends, that had fought + the battles of the war, in Congress determined that they should be + protected, if no longer by bayonets and cannon, that they should be + protected by placing the ballot in their hands, and the ballot was placed + in the hands of the freedman of the South by the action of the National + Congress, Congress submitting a constitutional amendment to the + legislatures of the States; and when enough of them had voted in favor of + it, and the President had signed the bill, it became an amendment to the + Constitution of the United States, granting to the people of the South, + who had been disfranchised, the right of suffrage. + </p> + <p> + Now, what does the right of suffrage do? It carries with it the right to + hold office. Where women have the privileges of voting on the school + question, they are granted the privilege of being school directors, + holding the office of superintendents, and the restriction on them stops + at that point under statute law. If you go a little further you will find + that when the freedmen were enfranchised, and they sent men of their own + color to the House of Representatives, did that body say “stop!” “we + protest, you cannot come in because of illegality”? No. They were admitted + on the face of their credentials because they had first been granted the + right of suffrage. When men of their color went to the United States + Senate and submitted their credentials, they were not protested against, + but they were admitted as members of the United States Senate on the face + of their credentials. And why? Because the right of suffrage granted to + the freedmen of the South under a constitutional amendment of the nation, + carried with it the right of the men whom we fought to free, and did free, + in an awful war, to hold office in the nation. Now, sir, you must + interpret the law somewhat by the spirit of the times in which you live. + That is a mistaken notion to say that you must always go to the men that + made the law to get the interpretation of it. If that were true, would it + not always be wise for legislators to give their affidavits and place on + file their interpretation of the law they had confirmed, and placed on the + statute books? There are legal gentlemen in this body who will tell you + that it goes for very little when you come to interpret law. And yet you + will find this to be true, that a law must be interpreted somewhat by the + spirit of the time in which you live. Why, twenty years ago, when the + General Conference handed the question of lay delegation down to the + Annual Conferences, and the members of our Church, there was not a woman + practising law in the Supreme Court of the United States. Go back through + the history of jurisprudence of this country and in England, and you will + find that it had never been known that a woman practised law in the + Supreme Court of this country or England. But to-day women have been + admitted to practise law in the Supreme Court of the United States. No + amendment to the Constitution of the United States had to be adopted in + order to secure this privilege for them. But this is true, that the judges + of the Supreme Court, by a more liberal interpretation of the Constitution + of the United States, said, “Women may be officers of the Supreme Court, + and may practise law there.” The same kind of a spirit, in interpreting + the Discipline and the Restrictive Rules of the Discipline of the Church, + will place these women delegates in this body where they have been sent. + The same thing is true of the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania and in the + Courts of Philadelphia. There is no way out, as my judgment sees, and as + my conscience tells me, since before the government of God man and woman + are equally responsible. There is no way out of this dilemma for this + General Conference, but to say that these women delegates shall sit in + this body, where they have been sent, and where their names have been + called. + </p> + <p> + Why, take the missionary operations. The Woman's Missionary Society is + to-day raising more money and doing more missionary work than the Parent + Missionary Society did fifty years ago. And yet men legislate concerning + the missionary operations of women, and give them no voice directly in + this body. + </p> + <p> + We bring up the temperance question here against license and in favor of + Prohibition, and we pass our resolutions after we have given our + discussions, and yet the Methodist Church has the honor of having in the + ranks of her membership—(Time called.) + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + ADDRESS OF REV. DR. JAMES M. BUCKLEY. + </p> + <p> + Mr. President, while the last speaker was on the floor, a modification of + a passage of Scripture occurred to me, “The enemy cometh in like a flood, + but I will lift up a standard against him.” It is somewhat peculiar that + he should begin by making a statement about one of the most honored names + in American Methodism, a statement that has been published in the papers, + and that nine tenths of this body knew as well as he did. It must have + been intended as a part of his argument, and I regard it as of as much + force as anything he said after it. But in point of fact the question does + not turn upon the person, but upon the principle. I have received an + anonymous letter containing the following among other things, “Beware how + you attack the holy cause of woman. Do you not know that obstacles to + progress are rem-o-o-v-e-d out of the way?” The signature of that letter + is ingenious. I cannot tell whether it was a man or a woman, for it reads + as follows, “A Lover of your Soul and of Woman.” Now, Mr. President, the + only candlestick that ought to be removed out of its place is the + candlestick that contains a candle that does not burn the pure oil of + truth. And I believe, sir, that with the best of intentions the three + speakers who have appeared have given us three chapters in different + styles of a work of fiction, and it is my duty to undertake to show where + they have slipped. The Apocrypha says, “An eloquent man is known far and + near; but a man of understanding discerneth where he slippeth.” I have no + claim to eloquence; never pretended to have any; but I have a claim to + some knowledge of Methodist history, to some ability to state my + sentiments, and to be without any fear of the results, either present or + prospective. + </p> + <p> + Now, Mr. President, you notice from my friends that if they cannot command + the judgment of the Conference they propose to say the women are in, and + defy us to put them out. I am sorry that my friend did not take in the + full significance of that. And they say that everybody who has a + certificate in form is in until he is put out. Why, they do not + discriminate between ordinary contested cases and a case where the + constitutional point is involved. If these women have a right here, they + have had it from the beginning by the Constitution. It is not a contested + case as to whether John Smith was voted for by the people who ought to + vote for him, or in the right place. Now, they talk of bringing up + documents here. I wrote to the Hon. George F. Edmunds, the most + distinguished member of the United States Senate, and simply put this + question, If a certificate of election in the Senate shows anything that + would prove the person unworthy of a seat, would he be seated pending an + investigation or not? He did not know what it referred to, and I read it + <i>verbatim</i>. I never mentioned the name of Methodist, and I read <i>verbatim</i> + from his letter: + </p> + <p> + “No officer of the Senate has any right to decide any such question, and, + therefore, every person admitted to a seat is admitted by, in fact, a vote + of the Senate. The ordinary course in the Senate is, when the credentials + appear to be perfectly regular, and there is no notorious and undisputed + fact or circumstance against the qualifications and election of a senator, + to admit him at once and settle the question of his right afterward. But + there have been cases in which the Senate declined to admit a claimant + holding a regular certificate upon the ground that enough was known to the + Senate to justify its declining to receive him until an inquiry should be + had. Very truly yours, + </p> + <p> + “GEORGE F. EDMUNDS.” + </p> + <p> + Now, Mr. President, all this twaddle about the women being in is based + upon the pretence that one woman is there now. The certificate shows that + they were women, though as yet no action has been taken in regard to them + at all. If they were in, they were in with a constitutional challenge. I + champion the holy cause of women. I stand here to champion their cause + against their being introduced into this body without their own sex having + had the opportunity of expressing their opinion upon the subject. I stand + here to protect them against being connected with movements without law or + contrary to law, and those who wish to bring them in and those who say it + is the constitution of the man and prejudice (my friend, Dr. Potts, said + prejudice), they are persons, indeed, to stand up here as, <i>par + excellence</i> the champions of women! Is it the constitution of the men? + Have you read the letter of Mrs. Caroline Wright in the <i>Christian + Advocate</i>, one of our most distinguished American Methodist women? She + does not wish to see them here. It is the constitution of the woman in + that case, and I am opposed to their being admitted until the general + sentiment of the women and the men of our Church have an opportunity of + being heard upon it. + </p> + <p> + Now, Mr. President, note these facts.... This is not a fact, but my + opinion. I solemnly believe that there was never an hour in the Methodist + Episcopal Church when it was in so great danger as it is to-day, not on + account of the admission of these women, two of whom I believe to be as + competent to sit in judgment on this question as any man on this floor. + That is not the question, as I propose to show. I assert freely, here and + now, if the women are in under the Restrictive Rules, no power ought to + put them out. If they are not in under the Restrictive Rules, nothing has + been done since, in my judgment, bearing upon it. I am astounded that + these brethren fancy that this question has no bearing at all on the + meaning of that rule. That is a wonderful thing. But we affirm that when + the Church voted to introduce lay delegation, it not only did not intend + to introduce women, but it did intend to fill up the whole body with men. + That is what we affirm. If we can prove it, it is a tower of help to us. + If we cannot prove it, we cannot make out our case. But our contention is, + that the Church did not undertake to put women in, and it did undertake to + fill up the capacities and relations of the body with men. Now, look at + it. No man goes to the dictionary to find the meaning of the word + “layman.” There is not a man that can find out the meaning of our + Restrictive Rules from the dictionary. No living man can make out the + meaning of a word in the Restrictive Rules from Webster's dictionary. You + must get it from the history of the Church. Who is the “General + Superintendent” by Webster or Worcester? The Methodist Episcopacy is the + thing that is protected by the Restrictive Rules. The dictionary does not + tell how the Chartered Fund shall be taken care of. Now they talk about + laymen. They do not seem, I think, to understand the history of the thing. + Some of them do not appear to understand the history of the English + language. Why was the word “layman” ever introduced? Because there was a + separate class of clergy men in the world, but there was not a class of + clergywomen in the world. If there had been, there would have been a term + for laywomen and for clergywomen. And the word was invented to distinguish + the laymen from the <i>clergy</i>men. Had there been clergywomen, there + would have been laywomen. The “laity” means all the people, men, women, + and children. A woman is one of the laity, and so is every child in the + country or in the Church one of the laity. But when you speak of man + acting as a unit he is a layman, but you never say a laywoman. You say: a + woman. Abraham Lincoln said, “All these things are done and suffered, that + government of the people, for the people, and by the people should not + perish from the earth.” Now, people, the dictionary says, are men, women, + and children. Did Abraham Lincoln mean that any women or children can take + any part in the government of the nation? No, no, no! He meant this. When + he stood up and delivered his inaugural speech, he said this, “The intent + of the lawmaker is the law.” + </p> + <p> + I give them something from one of the greatest lawyers that ever lived to + think of awhile—John Selden: “The only honest meaning of any word is + the intent of the man that wrote it.” At the time that the plan of lay + delegation was adopted, there was not a single Conference of the Church on + this wide globe, not one that distinguished between the ministry and the + laity that allowed women to take any part in its law-making body. Some one + will talk about the Quakers. But they deny the existence of the Church, + the sacraments of the Church, and make no distinction between the ministry + and the laity. Let them get up and show that there was ever one Church in + the world worthy of the name that allowed women to make its laws. There is + not one to-day. Let them name a Church, let them name one that has allowed + women in its law-making body; and yet such is the blinding power of gush + that men will say that our fathers all understood it and proposed to put + women in. The fact is, that they only proposed to allow them to put us in. + As soon as the General Conference adjourned the women made an appeal in a + public statement. They were asked to vote for lay delegation, and were + told that then they could set the Church right. The opponents appealed to + them to vote against it on the ground that it would not make any + difference to them. James Porter, Daniel Curry, Dr. Hodgson (Professor + Little thinks he was the greatest of them all) wrote a series of articles + in the <i>Advocate</i>, and it never occurred to them that the women could + come into the General Conference. Lay delegation was only admitted by 33 + votes. Had there been a change of 33 votes they would not have come in. + Every member of the New York East Conference knows that Dr. Curry's + influence was so powerful that he could almost get a majority against it. + And they know if any one had set up an opposition to it on this ground, + the whole Conference would have voted against the movement, and that if it + had not been for Bishop Ames and Bishop Janes, who went to the Wyoming + Conference where the majority was opposed to lay delegation, and by their + influence there converted my friend Olin and others, he knows that if this + matter of the women had been in or understood, the whole Conference would + have been against it. It would not have been possible. Dr. Potts says that + it is prejudice. Nothing of the kind. Do you know there are 12,000 + Methodist ministers that are ciphers all the time except when they vote + for delegates? Are you going to presume that when the Church has a + multitude of members, that it is going to sit here and change, by an + interpretation, a Restrictive Rule, or put in what was never in, and never + understood to be in? The Restrictive Rule fills up the ministerial + delegates. Every time you put a woman in, you put a man out. This subject + has never come up here before. The question is this, Do those Restrictive + Rules mean anything? If they do, you cannot put in anything that the + fathers did not put in. And if you put in women as lawmakers; if you can + read those Rules and put them in there, you can change any one of the + Restrictive Rules by a majority of one. And I want to say to you, that if + you do it, you will prove to the Methodist Episcopal Church that the sole + protection we have against the caprice of a majority of the General + Conference is not worth the paper it is written on. All you have to do is + to get a majority of the Conference against the Episcopacy, and then put + any interpretation, and then you get a few women admitted, and this you + call the progress of the age. Mr. Chairman, I believe in progress, and + when the Church progresses far enough, it can change this law in a + constitutional way. But it has not yet gone far enough. These men believe + that the Church has never done it, or that it is best. Dr. Flood said that + they must be brought in in the light of progress. I affirm that Dr. + Flood's arguments all point in that direction—they must be + interpreted in the light of progress. When you do that you have got a + despotism. I want to go back to my constituents and say this: I exercise + all the power that our Charter gives me. But at the moment that anything + is proposed, and we put in what the fathers did not have before their + eyes, at that moment I stop and say, Thus far, but no farther. A despotism + is a despotism, whether it is a despotism without restraint, the Czar with + his wife, the Czar without his wife. You will turn this house into a + despotism, and you will find it difficult to defend Methodism by its + peculiar Constitution before the American people. + </p> + <p> + If you want women in, there is another way to bring them in. Send the + question around as you did for lay delegation. There was only a doubt in + the General Conference of 1868, and yet they had a sense of candor. John + M'Clintock fought in favor of taking them in. But he said, “I think it + best to send the question around.” True progress is not gained in any + other way. Some prefer a shorter cut. Let me say to you, “He that cometh + in by the door,” the same hath a right to come in; but he that cometh in + another way, is not as respectable as in the other case. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + ADDRESS OF REV. DR. A.B. LEONARD. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Chairman, unfortunately for me, I have received no anonymous letters. + And so I have nothing either sensational or startling with which to + introduce my speech. I shall not speak this morning under any fear of + being removed as an obstruction, or of having my future prospects blasted. + It is my privilege, therefore, to speak to you this morning upon this + subject calmly and dispassionately, having no motive to either suppress or + exaggerate the truth. The party who wrote Dr. Buckley, threatening to + remove him as an obstruction, must be highly gratified to know that that + obstruction has already been removed. Brother Hughey removed the + obstruction, extinguished the candle, and destroyed the candlestick. + </p> + <p> + We are to approach this question this morning, to discuss it purely upon + its merits. The ground of constitutional law was traversed thoroughly + yesterday morning in the opening speech by Dr. Potts, a speech that, + though he did not hear it himself, was heard by this body, and will be + heard through the length and breadth of the Church everywhere. It remains + for us who follow him simply to turn on a few side-lights here and there, + or to give an opportunity of viewing this question from a new point of + view. And, first, there is a line of argument that may be helpful to some + that has already been presented in part touching the administration of our + law and the interpretation of terms that is worthy, I think, of still + further consideration. + </p> + <p> + Dr. Buckley said in the New York <i>Christian Advocate</i> of March 15th, + 1888: + </p> + <p> + “The question of eligibility turns, first, upon whether the persons + claiming seats are laymen; secondly, whether they have been members of the + Church for five years consecutively, and are at least twenty-five years of + age; and, thirdly, upon whether they have been duly elected. If women are + found to be eligible under the law, they would stand upon the same plane + with men, in this particular, that they must be twenty-five years, etc.” + </p> + <p> + Now, then, is a woman legally qualified to sit in the General Conference + as a lay delegate? Is she a layman in the sense of that word in the + Discipline? If she be not in, she cannot be introduced contrary to law by + a mere majority vote of the General Conference. The Doctor sometimes + writes more clearly than he speaks, and it was so in the occasion of + writing this article. Over against this we have one of (as Dr. Hamilton + would say) the “subtle insinuations” of the Episcopal Address, which + declares that no definition of “layman” settles the question of + eligibility as to any class of persons. For many are classed as laymen for + the purposes of lay representation, and have to do with it officially as + laymen, yet themselves are ineligible as delegates. Well, in this case, we + have the Episcopal Board over against the editor. Both are right and both + are wrong. The editor is right when he said of a woman, if she be a lay + member her right is clear as that of any duly elected man. But he is wrong + when he denies to her a right to a seat in this body as a layman. The + Episcopal Address is wrong when it says that “no definition of the word + 'layman' settles the question of eligibility.” But it is right when it + says, “Many are classed as laymen for purposes of lay representation, and + have to do with it officially as lay members who are not themselves + eligible as delegates.” + </p> + <p> + In the practical work of the Church, and in the administration of its + laws, women have been regarded as laymen from the beginning until now. + They pay quarterage. If they did not pay quarterage some of our salaries + would be very short. They contribute to our benevolent collections, and if + it were not for their contributions, we would not to-day be shouting over + the “Million dollars for Missions.” They pray and testify in our + class-meetings and prayer-meetings, and but for their presence among us, + many of those meetings would be as silent as the grave. They are amenable + to law, and must be tried by the very same process by which men are tried. + They are subject to the same penalty. They may be suspended; they may be + expelled. In all these respects they have been regarded as laymen from the + beginning. Indeed, we have never recognized more than two orders in our + Church. We have laymen and ministers. Up to 1872 but one of these orders + was represented in this General Conference. This General Conference was + strictly a clerical organization. But in 1872 we marked a new epoch in + Methodist history, and a new element came into this body, and has been in + all our sessions since that date. The first step, as has been mentioned + here before, was taken in 1868, when the question of lay delegation was + sent down to the members of the Church over twenty-one years of age, and + to the Annual Conferences. Dr. Queal, if I understood him, made what is, + in my judgment, a fatal concession on this question. He distinctly stated, + if I understood him correctly, and I have not had time to refer to the + report of his speech (if I misinterpret him he will correct me), that when + the motion to strike out the word “male” was made, it was done for the + purpose of putting a “rider” on the motion and cause its defeat, and when + that fact was made known to those in favor of lay delegation, they said + they would accept it then with that interpretation, and the interpretation + was that the amendment would let women into the General Conference. + </p> + <p> + Now, that being true, all this talk about the idea of the “women coming + in” being never entertained until very recently falls to the ground. It + was present on that occasion. It was understood by those that opposed lay + delegation, and that favored it, that if they passed this amendment and + the laymen were allowed to come in, it would open the door to allow women + to come in also. + </p> + <p> + L. C. Queal said: + </p> + <p> + I think I am entitled now to correct this putting of the case. + </p> + <p> + Bishop Foss: + </p> + <p> + Are you misrepresented? + </p> + <p> + L. C. Queal: + </p> + <p> + I am misrepresented in this, that while I stated that Dr. Sherman put that + on as a “rider,” with a view to defeating the bill, that immediately after + thinking so I thought it might be the occasion of securing the approval of + the principle in the laity of the Church. That is all I stated. All the + rest of Dr. Leonard's statement is his own inference—a + misconstruction of the fact. A.B. Leonard: + </p> + <p> + I understood Dr. Queal as I stated. I have not had time to refer to the + speech he made. I leave his statement with you, and you have the privilege + of consulting his speech as it is printed this morning, in reference to + this matter. It came to my thought very distinctly that the idea of the + possibility of women coming in was then lodged in the minds that were both + in favor of and opposed to lay delegation. + </p> + <p> + Now, then, this vote that was taken, in accordance with the order of 1868, + laid the foundation stone for the introduction of women into this body. + That sent the question of lay delegation down to be voted on by the laity + of the Church. If the women were not to be recognized as laity here, why + allow them to vote on the question of the laity at all? And, having + allowed them to vote on the question of the laity, settling the very + foundation principle itself, with what consistency can we disallow them a + place in this General Conference, when by their votes they opened the way + for the laymen coming into this General Conference? Do you not remember + that we had a vote previously, and the men only voted, and that the lay + delegation scheme was defeated, and the <i>Methodist</i>, that was + published in this city, being the organ of the lay delegationists, said + that “votes ought to be weighed, not counted”? And then the question was + sent back to be voted upon by both the men and the women? And let the + laymen of this General Conference remember that they are in this body + to-day by reason of the votes of the women of the Methodist Episcopal + Church. In 1880 we went still further. We went into the work of construing + pronouns. There had been women in the Quarterly Conferences previously to + that date; but there was a mist in the air with regard to their legality + there. The General Conference by its action did not propose to admit women + to the Quarterly Conferences. It simply proposed to clear away the mist + and recognize their legal right to sit in the Quarterly Conference. Being + in the Quarterly Conference, and in the District Conference, they have the + right to vote on every question that comes before such bodies. They vote + to license ministers, to recommend ministers to Annual Conferences, to + recommend local preachers for deacons' and elders' orders. They vote on + sending delegates to our Lay Electoral Conferences, and they vote in + elections for delegates to Lay Electoral Conferences, and they vote in + elections for delegates from Lay Electoral Conferences to this General + Conference. And there are men on this floor to-day that would not be in + this at all if they had not received the support of women in Lay Electoral + Conferences. Now, brethren, let it be remembered that the votes of the + women to send delegates to the Lay Electoral Conferences were never + challenged until they came here asking for seats. They were good enough to + elect laymen to this body, but not good enough to take seats with laymen + in this body. With what consistency can laymen accept seats by the votes + of the women and then deprive women of their seats? I am surprised at some + of the “subtle insinuations” of the Episcopacy concerning constitutional + law. Allow me to say at this point that, having introduced into the + Quarterly Conference these women, and having given them a right to vote + there, and in the District Conferences, and in the Lay Electoral + Conferences, in all honesty we must do one of two things, if we would be + consistent, we must go back and take up that old foundation of lay + delegation that we laid in 1868, or we must go forward and allow these + women to have their seats. In a word, we must either lay again the + “foundation of repentance from dead work, or go forward to perfection.” + And I am not in favor of going back. + </p> + <p> + If it is true that the body of the Constitution is outside of the + Restrictive Rules, and cannot be changed except in the way prescribed for + altering the Restrictive Rules, then I say that this General Conference + has again and again been both lawless and revolutionary. Every paragraph + of the chapter, known as the Constitution, beginning with §63, and + closing with §69, was put into that Constitution without any voice + from an Annual Conference of this foot-stool. Not one single one of them + was ever submitted to an Annual Conference; §20, ¶183, stood for + many years in the Constitution of the Church, but was transferred bodily + from that Constitution by the General Conference to the position it now + occupies. You come and tell us to-day that we cannot change the + Constitution outside of the Restrictive Rules without going down to the + Annual Conferences; it is too late in the day to say that. We have made + too much history on that point. The present plan of lay delegation was not + submitted to the Annual Conferences. Bishop Simpson definitely stated when + he reported to the General Conference the result of the vote ordered in + 1868 that the question simply of the introduction of the laity into the + General Conference was presented to be voted upon by the laity and by the + Annual Conferences, but the “plan” was not submitted to either to be voted + upon, and the “plan” for lay delegation by which these lay brethren occupy + their seats here this morning was made in every jot and tittle by the + General Conference without any reference to the Annual Conferences at all. + </p> + <p> + I want to know, then, by what propriety we come here in this General + Conference to say that there can be no change of Part I. of the + Constitution outside of the Restrictive Rules. The General Conference + cannot alter our articles of faith, it cannot abolish our Episcopacy; it + cannot deprive our members of a right to trial and appeal. These come + under the Restrictive Rules, and cannot be touched by this body without + the consent of the Annual Conferences; but all else has been from + beginning, and is now in the hands of the General Conference. Let it be + remembered that this General Conference is a unique body. It is at once a + legislative and a judicial body; in the former capacity it makes law; in + the latter capacity it has the power to construe law. + </p> + <p> + It is at once a Congress, if you please, to enact law, and a supreme court + to interpret law. Now, then, in admitting women to our General Conference, + we are simply construing the Constitution, and not changing the + Constitution. The Supreme Court of the United States gives decisions on + the construing of the Constitution, and who ever heard of a decision of + the Supreme Court being sent down to be ratified by the State + Legislatures? The Supreme Court of the United States construes the + Constitution, without any reference to the State Legislatures, and so we + construe law without any reference to the Annual Conferences. If we touch + the law inside of the Restrictive Rules, we must go down to the Annual + Conferences. Outside we are free to legislate as we may. + </p> + <p> + What is the Constitution for? The Constitution is designed simply to limit + the powers of the Legislature. In my own State of Ohio, for illustration, + we have an article in our Constitution that forbids our Legislature to + license the liquor traffic, but our legislators give a license under the + guise of taxing, but they cannot give us a license law in form. The + Constitution prevents it. There are States that have Constitutions that + have no word to say about the liquor traffic at all, while they may either + tax, license, or prohibit. + </p> + <p> + This is a fact that is well settled, that the Constitution is a limitation + of legislative power, and where there is no such limitation there is no + restriction. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + ADDRESS OF REV. DR. ALFRED WHEELER. + </p> + <p> + Mr. President, it will be well for us, so far as we have progressed in + this discussion, to see how near and how far we agree. It is admitted by + the friends of the report, or by the committee, that this is a question of + law, and to be decided exclusively upon principles of law. So far as those + who are opposed to the report have spoken, they conceive, as I understand + it, that the position taken by the committee is taken by those who are + advocating its adoption. Then we are agreed that it is not a matter of + sentiment, it is not a matter of chivalry. There is no place for + knighthood, or any of its laws, or any other of the principles that + dominated the contests of the knights of old. If it were a matter of + knighthood there is not a man on this floor that would deem it necessary + to bring a lance into this body. All would be peace and quiet. + </p> + <p> + There are none that would hail with more joy and gladness the women of the + Church to a seat in this body than those of us who now, under the + circumstances, oppose their coming in. + </p> + <p> + It is not either a matter of progressive legislation regarding the + franchise of colored men, or of anybody else in the country. It is a + question of law, Methodist law, and Methodist law alone. + </p> + <p> + Now, so far as the intention is concerned of those who made the law, I do + not see how those who have kept themselves conversant with the history of + lay delegation can for a moment claim that it was even the most remote + intention of those who introduced lay delegation into the General + Conference to bring in the women, and for us to transfer the field now + toward women, in view of their magnificent work in the last ten or fifteen + years, back to twenty years, is to commit an anachronism that would be + fatal to all just interpretation of law. + </p> + <p> + I myself was in the very first meeting that was ever called to initiate + the movement that at last brought in lay delegation. I voted for it; I + wrote for it; I spoke for it in the General Conference and in the Annual + Conferences. I was a member of the first lay committee, or Committee on + Lay Delegation, that was appointed here by the General Conference in 1868. + And during all these various processes of discussion, so far as I know, + the thought was never suggested that under it women would come in to + represent the laity, nor was it ever suggested that it was desirable that + they should; so that the intention of the law-maker could never have + embraced this design—the design of bringing women into the General + Conference. I leave that. + </p> + <p> + Now, I claim that the General Conference has no legal authority to admit + them here. We are not an omnipotent body. I know that the Supreme Court of + the United States, in that contest between the Northern Church, or the + Methodist Episcopal Church, and the Church South, decided that the General + Conference was the Methodist Episcopal Church. I used that argument myself + upon the Conference floor in 1868, that the General Conference could, + without any other process, by mere legislation, introduce the laity into + this body. I claimed there and then that, according to that decision, the + Methodist Episcopal Church was in the General Conference. The General + Conference refused to accept that endorsement of that Court, or that + proposition concerning the prerogatives of this body. And through all the + processes that have been ordered concerning the introduction of lay + delegation that interpretation of the constitution of the Church has been + repudiated. The Church herself rejected the interpretation that the + Supreme Court placed upon her constitution, and as a loyal son of the + Church I accepted her interpretation of her own constitution, so that now + I claim that the General Conference has no authority whatever to change + the <i>personnel</i> of the General Conference without the vote of the + Annual Conferences. Before it can be done constitutionally, you must + obtain the consent of the brethren of the Annual Conferences, and I am in + favor of that, and of receiving an affirmative vote on their part. But + until this is done I do not see how they can come in only as we trample + the organic law of our Church under our feet. And to do this, there is + nothing but peril ahead of us. + </p> + <p> + A simple body may disregard law with comparative impunity, but an organic + body that is complicated, complex in its nature, will find its own + security in adhering earnestly, strictly, and everlastingly, to the law + that that body passes for the government of its own conduct. + </p> + <p> + Let us see, now, with regard to this Restrictive Rule. As I have said, it + has been admitted all along that the action of the Annual Conferences must + be secured. Here comes in the decision of the General Conference of 1872. + I do not need to recite it. But let us bear in mind two facts. One is, + that this General Conference is a legislative body, and that it is also a + judicial body. As a judicial body, it interprets law; as a legislative + body, it makes law. The General Conference of 1872 interpreted law, and + the General Conference may reverse itself with just as much propriety as a + court can reverse itself. And if it be the judgment of this General + Conference that that interpretation was incorrect, it is perfectly + competent for this Conference to say so, and have its action correspond + with its own decision. + </p> + <p> + There is another point. The case that was before the General Conference of + 1876 was a specific case. It was the case of the relation that local + preachers sustain to the Church, a particular case. This is the principle + of all decisions in law, that when a particular case is decided in general + terms, the scope and comprehension of the decision must be limited to the + particular case itself. And if a court in its decision embraces more than + was involved in the particular case, it has no force whatever. And as this + was a particular case submitted to the General Conference, and the + decision was in general terms, it comprehends simply the case that was + before it, and cannot be advanced to comprehend more. And the reason of + this is very obvious; for if it was not the case, then cases might be + brought before the court for its decision that had never occurred. + </p> + <p> + There is another point I wish to notice. The General Conference of 1880 + did not see the effect that legislation would have by admitting women to + certain offices. Certain affirmative legislation is also negative + legislation. When saloons are permitted to sell in quantities of one + gallon, it forbids to sell in quantities of less than one gallon; when it + says you can sell in quantities of one barrel, it forbids them to sell in + quantities of two. When the General Conference of 1880 decided that women + should be eligible in the Quarterly Conferences as superintendents of + Sunday-schools, class-leaders, and as stewards, by that very affirmative + conclusion, the subject was passed upon about their taking any other + position. That, I think, must be regarded as sound, and a just + interpretation of the law. + </p> + <p> + But suppose it is not; the General Conference of 1880 certainly did not + understand the matter as the General Conference of 1872 did. For if it + had, there would have been no necessity for legislation at all, there + would have been no need for putting in the law as it now stands, that the + pronoun “he,” wherever employed, shall not be considered as prohibiting + women from holding the offices of Sunday-school Superintendent, Class + Leader, and Steward. + </p> + <p> + Now, for this reason, and for the further reason that it is a matter of + immense importance that we guard against despotism, I oppose changing the + <i>personnel</i> of the General Conference without my Annual Conference + has a right to vote upon it, and it is voted upon. Despotism is a suitable + term. A General Conference may become a despot, and just as soon as it + goes outside of its legitimate province, then it usurps, and so far as it + usurps, it becomes despotic, and is a despot; and you and I, so far as our + Annual Conferences are concerned, do well to regard with a deep jealousy + an infringement upon our organic rights. The only safety of the Church is + the equipoise that is constituted by the relation the Annual Conferences + sustain to the General Conference, and far safer is it for us to bring + these women of the Church, elect, honorable women, into the General + Conference of the Church by the same way that their husbands and brothers + are here. + </p> + <p> + There is another thought that I wish to suggest. What are the + possibilities with regard to lay delegation, supposing the design of those + who wish to bring women in without further action is successful? You make + lay delegation a farce in this body. The presiding elders and pastors of + the Church may act in co-operation, and they can elect their own wives as + delegates to this General Conference, and thus lay delegation comes to be + a farce. Some of you may laugh at this suggestion, but it is an <i>in + posse</i>, and it may easily be made an <i>in esse</i>. It is important to + us that the laity should hold the place they have by the regulations we + have, and they should be changed only to make them more perfect. + </p> + <p> + No body is safe without adherence to law. We may set lightly by law; we + may regard it as a thing to be laid aside at the command of excitement or + passion, but the nation that does that is a doomed nation, and the Church + that does that has its history already written. The only safe course for + us to pursue is to pursue the wise, careful, judicious, and conservative—I + mean every word—and conservative course we have heretofore pursued + through all our history. When we boast of what Methodism has done, or what + she is going to do, let us remember it is because of her firm adherence to + law. + </p> + <p> + It is with her as it is with the German nation and the Anglo-Saxon race—everywhere + our glory is in our adherence to wise laws, and if we pass unwise laws, in + repealing them in the same wise. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + ADDRESS OF GENERAL CLINTON B. FISK. + </p> + <p> + Mr. President and Brethren, to an onlooker of this remarkable scene, this + great debate now in the third day of its progress must be suggestive of + some of the marvellous plays, woven into song, which have made the hearts + of the thronging multitudes who have crowded this place of meeting in the + past throb alternately with emotions of hope and fear as to the outcome of + the parties involved in plot and counterplot. The visitors to this General + Conference, seated in their boxes and in the family circle, Will say + surely these honored men of God who have been called as Superintendents of + the affairs of our great conquering Church, these chosen ministers of + reconciliation and peace, these <i>male</i> laymen called by their + brethren to their high places in this General Conference, whose names at + home are the synonym of chivalrous goodness—surely all these of rank + and talent and authority, whose able and eloquent words have been ringing + through the arches and dome of this temple of music on the wrong side of + the question, are but simply acting the parts assigned them. In the final + scene they will join hands around the eligible women elect, who, in + obedience to the call of the laity in their several Conferences, are in + their seats with us, and say, “Whom God hath joined, let not <i>male</i> + put asunder.” My brothers, let us briefly restate the case. Five noble + women of the laymen of the Methodist Episcopal Church have been chosen as + delegates to this General Conference under the Constitution and by the + forms prescribed by the laws of the Church. As they enter, or attempt to + enter, the portals of this great assemblage they hear a voice from the + platform, in words not to be misunderstood, “Thou shalt not,” and voices + from all parts of the house take up the prohibitory words, and supplement + the voices of the Bishops, “Thou shalt not.” And one would think, from the + vehement oratory of the resisting delegates of this General Conference, + that the foundations of the Church were in imminent peril by the presence + of these “elect ladies” among us. + </p> + <p> + Let us turn back a moment, and review the history of the rise, progress, + and triumph of the cause of lay representation. I claim to know a little + something about it, as I was on the skirmish line in the conflict, and in + all its battles fought until the day of victory. + </p> + <p> + In 1861, to the male members of the Church, was submitted the question of + lay representation. It failed of securing a majority vote. Had it carried, + there would have been plausibility in the argument this day made against + the eligibility of women to seats in this General Conference. The + evolution of the succeeding eight years lifted woman to a higher + appreciation of her position in the Methodist Church, and her rights and + privileges became the theme of discussion throughout the bounds of the + Church. Among the champions for woman was that magnificent man, that grand + old man, Dr. Daniel D. Whedon, who, in discussing this question, said: + </p> + <p> + “If it is <i>rights</i> they talk of, every competent member of the Church + of Christ, of either sex and of every shade of complexion, has equal + original rights. Those rights, they may be assured, when that question + comes fairly up, will be firmly asserted and maintained.” + </p> + <p> + And in answer to the expected fling, “But you are a woman's rights man,” + he replied: + </p> + <p> + “We are a human rights man. And our mother was a human being. And our + wives, sisters, and daughters are all human beings. And that these human + beings are liable as any other human beings to be oppressed by the + stronger sex, and as truly need in self-defence a check upon oppression, + the history of all past governments and legislation does most terribly + demonstrate. What is best in the State is not indeed with us the question; + but never, with our consent, shall the Church of the living God + disfranchise her who gave to the world its divine Redeemer. When that + disfranchisement comes to the debate, may the God of eternal righteousness + give us strength equal to our will to cleave it to the ground!” + </p> + <p> + The General Conference of 1868, after full discussion, submitted the + question of Lay Representation to a vote of all the members of the Church, + male and female, thus recognizing the women as laymen, as belonging to the + great body of the laity, and as vitally interested in the government of + the Church, and having rights under that government. During the debate on + the report of the Committee on the plan for submitting the question as in + 1861, to the male members, Dr. Sherman moved to strike out the word + “male.” While that motion was under consideration, Dr. Slicer, of + Baltimore, said, “If it were the last moment I should spend, and the last + articulate sound I should utter, I should speak for the wives, mothers, + and daughters of the Methodist Episcopal Church.... I am for women's + rights, sir, <i>wherever church privileges are concerned</i>.” + </p> + <p> + Dr. Sherman's motion was carried by a vote of 142 to 70, and the question + of lay representation was submitted to all the members of the Church over + twenty-one years of age. The General Conference did not ask women to vote + on a proposition that only male members of the Church should be + represented in the General Conference, and it did not then enter the + thought of any clear-headed man that women were to be deprived of their + rights to a seat in the General Conference. There were a few noisy, + disorderly brethren who cried out from their seats, “No, no,” but they + were silenced by the presiding Bishop and the indignation of the right + thinking, orderly delegates. + </p> + <p> + What does the Rev. Dr. David Sherman, the mover of the motion to strike + out the word “male,” now say of the prevailing sentiment on that day of + great debate? I have his freshly written words in response to an inquiry + made a few weeks ago. On March 21st he made this statement: + </p> + <p> + “Some of us believed that women were laymen, that the term 'men' in the + Discipline, as elsewhere, often designated not sex, but genus; and that + those who constituted a main part of many of our churches should have a + voice in determining under what government they would live. We believed in + the rightful equality of the sexes before the law, and hence that women + should have the same right as men to vote and hold office. The Conference + of 1868 was a reform body, and it seemed possible to take these views on a + stage; hence the amendment was offered, and carried with a rush and + heartiness even beyond my expectations....The latter interpretation of the + Conference making all not members of Conferences laymen, fully carried out + these views, as they were understood at the moment by the majority party. + Some, to be sure, cried out against it, but their voices were not heard + amid the roar of victory. Who can go back of the interpretation of the + supreme court of the Church?” + </p> + <p> + It is amazing that brethren will stand here to-day and utterly ignore the + decision of our Supreme Court in defining who are laymen. Could the + utterances of any Court be more definite and clear than those of the + General Conference when it said, “The General Conference holds that in all + matters connected with the election of lay delegates the word 'laymen' + must be understood to include all the members of the Church who are not + members of the Annual Conferences”? This decision must include women among + the laity of the Church. I know it is said that this means the + classification of local preachers. We respond that that only appears from + the debate. The General Conference was settling a great principle in which + the personal rights and privileges of two thirds of the membership of our + Church were involved. Surely, our Supreme Court would have made a strange + decision had they, in defining laymen, excepted women. Let us see how it + would look in cold type had they said, “The General Conference holds that + in all matters connected with the election of lay delegates the word + laymen must be understood to include all the members of the Annual + Conferences, <i>and who are not women</i>.” We would have become the + laughing-stock of Christendom had we made such an utterance. The Church + universal in all ages has always divided its membership into two great + classes, and two only, the clergy and the laymen, using the terms laity + and laymen synonymously and interchangeably. See Bingham's “Antiquities,” + Blackstone's “Commentaries,” Schaffs “History,” and kindred authorities. + It is sheer trifling for sensible males to talk about a distinction + between lay<i>men</i> and lay<i>women</i>. + </p> + <p> + Women were made class-leaders, stewards, and Sunday-school + superintendents, and employed in these several capacities long before the + specific interpretations of the pronouns were made. They were so appointed + and employed in Saint Paul's Church in this city during the pastorate of + that sainted man, John M'Clintock, in 1860, and could the voice of that + great leader and lover of the Church reach us to day from the skies it + would be in protest against the views presented in this debate by the + supporters of the committee's report and its amendment. + </p> + <p> + It is a well-established and incontrovertible principle of law that any + elector is eligible to the office for which said elector votes, unless + there be a <i>specific enactment discriminating against the elector</i>. + Our law says that a lay delegate shall be twenty-five years of age, and + five years a member of the Methodist Episcopal Church. It does not say + that a delegate must not be a woman, or must be a man. + </p> + <p> + Women are eligible to membership in this General Conference. Women have + been chosen delegates as provided by law. They are here in their seats + ready for any duty on committees, or otherwise, as they may be invited. We + cannot turn them out and slam the door on their exit. It would be + revolutionary so to do by a simple vote of this body. It would be a + violation of the guarantees of personal liberty, a holding of the just + rights of the laity of the Church. We cannot exclude them from membership + in the General Conference, except by directing the Annual Conferences to + vote on the question of their exclusion. Are we ready to send that + question in that form down to the Annual Conferences for their action? I + trust that a large majority of this General Conference will say with + emphasis we are not ready for any such action. The women of our Methodism + have a place in the heart of the Church from which they cannot be + dislodged. They are our chief working members. They are at the very front + of every great movement of the Church at home or abroad. In the spirit of + rejoicing consecration our matrons and maids uphold the banner of our Lord + in every conflict with the enemy of virtue and righteousness. Looking down + upon us from these galleries, tier upon tier, are the magnificent leaders + of the Woman's Foreign and the Woman's Home Missionary Societies. Our + women are at the front of the battle now waging against the liquor traffic + in our fair land, and they will not cease their warfare until this nation + shall be redeemed from the curse of the saloon. God bless all these women + of our great conquering Church of the Redeemer. + </p> + <p> + Twenty years ago Bishop Hurst accompanied me on a leisurely tour of + continental Europe. In the old city of Nuremberg we wandered among the old + churches and market-places, where may be seen the marvellous productions + of that evangel of art, Albert Durer. In an old schloss in that city may + be found the diary of Albert Durer, almost four centuries old. In it you + may read as follows: “Master Gebhart, of Antwerp, has a daughter seventeen + years old, and she has illuminated the head of a Saviour for which I gave + a florin. It is a marvel that a woman could do so much.” Three and a half + centuries later Rosa Bonheur hangs her master-piece in the chief places of + the galleries of the world, and Harriet Hosmer's studio contributes many + of the best marbles that adorn the parlors of Europe and America, and no + one wonders that a woman can do so much. From that day when Martin Luther, + the protesting monk, and Catherine Von Bora, the ex-nun, stood together at + the altar and the twain became one, woman has by her own heroism, by her + faith in her sex and in God, who made her, fought a good fight against the + organized selfishness of those who would withhold from her any right or + privilege to which she is entitled, and has lifted herself from slavery + and barbarism to a place by the side of man, where God placed her in + paradise, his equal in tact and talent, moving upon the world with her + unseen influences, and making our Christian civilization what it is + to-day. Let not our Methodism in this her chiefest council say or do ought + that shall lead the world to conclude that we are retreating from our + advanced position of justice to the laity of the Church. Let us rather + strengthen our guarantee of loving protection of every right and privilege + of every member of our Church, without distinction of race, color, or sex. + Amen and Amen. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + ADDRESS OF JUDGE Z. P. TAYLOR. + </p> + <p> + Mr. President and Gentlemen, when elected a delegate I had no opinion on + the constitutional question here involved. But I had then, and I have now, + a sympathy for the women, and a profound admiration of their work. No man + on this floor stands more ready and more willing to assist them by all + lawful and constitutional means to every right and and to every privilege + enjoyed by men. + </p> + <p> + But, sir, notwithstanding this admiration and sympathy, I cannot lose + sight of the vital question before the General Conference now and here. + </p> + <p> + That question is this: Under the Constitution and Restrictive Rules of the + Methodist Episcopal Church are women eligible as lay delegates in this + General Conference? If they are, then this substitute offered by Dr. Moore + does them an injustice, because it puts a cloud upon their right and title + to seats upon this floor. If they are not, then this body would be in part + an unconstitutional body if they are admitted. + </p> + <p> + It follows that whoever supports this substitute either wrongs the elect + ladies or violates the Constitution. If they are constitutionally a part + of this body, seat them; if they are not, vote down this substitute, and + adopt the report of the committee, with the amendment of Dr. Neely, and + then let them in four years hence in the constitutional way. After the + most careful study of the vital question in the light of history, + ecclesiastical, common, and constitutional law, it is my solemn and + deliberate judgment that women are not eligible as lay delegates in this + body. + </p> + <p> + Facts, records, and testimonials conclusively prove that in 1868, when the + General Conference submitted the matter of lay delegation to the entire + membership of the Church, the idea of women being eligible was not the + intent. The intent was to bring into the General Conference a large number + of men of business experience, who could render service by their knowledge + and experience touching the temporal affairs of the Church. When the + principle of admitting lay delegates was voted upon by the laity, this + idea, and no other, was intended. When the Annual Conferences voted for + the principle and the plan, this and this only was their intent. + </p> + <p> + When the General Conference, by the constitutional majority, acted in + favor of admitting the lay delegates provisionally elected, this idea, and + none other, actuated them. It was not the intent then to admit women, but + to admit men only, and the intent must govern in construing a + Constitution. + </p> + <p> + Dr. Fisk said Judge Cooley is a high authority on constitutional law. I + admit it, and am happy to say that I was a student of his over a quarter + of a century ago, and ever since then have studied and practised + constitutional law, and I am not here to stultify my judgment by allowing + sentiment and impulse to influence my decision. + </p> + <p> + Those opposing the report of the committee, with few exceptions, admit + that it was not the intent and purpose, when the Constitution and + Restrictive Rules were amended, to admit women as lay delegates. They + claim, however, that times have changed, and now propose to force a + construction upon the language not intended by the laity, the Annual + Conferences, or the General Conference at the time of the amendment. Can + this be done without an utter violation of law? I answer, No. + </p> + <p> + In the able address read by Bishop Merrill, containing the views of the + Board of Bishops, he says: + </p> + <p> + “For the first time in our history several 'elect ladies' appear, + regularly certified from Electoral Conferences, as lay delegates to this + body. In taking the action which necessitates the consideration of the + question of their eligibility, the Electoral Conferences did not consult + the Bishops as to the law in the case, nor do we understand it to be our + duty to define the law for these Conferences; neither does it appear that + any one is authorized to decide questions of law in them. The Electoral + Conferences simply assumed the lawfulness of this action, being guided, as + we are informed, by a declarative resolution of the General Conference of + 1872, defining the scope of the word 'laymen,” in answer to a question + touching the classification and rights of ordained local and located + ministers. Of course, the language of that resolution is carried beyond + its original design when applied to a subject not before the body when it + was adopted, and not necessarily involved in the language itself. This + also should be understood, that no definition of the word 'laymen' settles + the question of eligibility as to any class of persons, for many are + classed as laymen for the purposes of lay representation, and have to do + with it officially as laymen, who are themselves not eligible as + delegates. Even laymen who are confessedly ineligible, who are not old + enough to be delegates, or have not been members long enough, may be + stewards, class-leaders, trustees, local preachers and exhorters, and, as + such, be members of the Quarterly Conference, and vote for delegates to + the Electoral Conference without themselves being eligible. + </p> + <p> + “The constitutional qualifications for eligibility cannot be modified by a + resolution of the General Conference, however sweeping, nor can the + original meaning of the language be enlarged. If women were included in + the original constitutional provision for lay delegates, they are here by + constitutional right. If they were not so included, it is beyond the power + of this body to give them membership lawfully, except by the formal + amendment of the Constitution, which cannot be effected without the + consent of the Annual Conferences. In extending to women the highest + spiritual privileges, in recognizing their gifts, and in providing for + them spheres of Christian activity, as well as in advancing them to + positions of official responsibility, ours has been a leader of the + Churches, and gratefully do we acknowledge the good results shown in their + enlarged usefulness, and in the wonderful developments of their power to + work for God, which we take as evidences of the divine approval of the + high ground taken. In all reformatory and benevolent enterprises, + especially in the Temperance, Missionary, and Sunday-school departments of + Church-work, their success is marvellous, and challenges our highest + admiration. Happily no question of competency or worthiness is involved in + the question of their eligibility as delegates. Hitherto the assumption + underlying the legislation of the Church has been that they were + ineligible to official positions, except by special provision of law. In + harmony with this assumption, they have been made eligible, by special + enactment, of the offices of steward, class-leader, and Sunday-school + superintendent, and naturally the question arises as to whether the + necessity for special legislation, in order to their eligibility to those + specified offices, does not indicate similar necessity for special + provision in order to their eligibility as delegates, and if so it is + further to be considered that the offices of steward, class-leader, and + Sunday-school superintendent may be created and filled by simple + enactments of the General Conference itself; but to enter the General + Conference, and form part of the law-making body of the Church, requires + special provision in the Constitution, and, therefore, such provision as + the General Conference alone cannot make.” + </p> + <p> + Now, sir, this language moves forward with a grasp of logic akin to that + used by Chief Justice Marshall, or that eminent jurist, Cooley, from whom + I beg leave to quote. Cooley, in his great work on “Constitutional + Limitations,” says: + </p> + <p> + “A Constitution is not made to mean one thing at one time, and another at + some subsequent time, when the circumstances may have changed as perhaps + to make a different rule in the case seem desirable. A principal share of + the benefit expected from written Constitutions would be lost, if the + rules they establish were so flexible as to bend to circumstances, or be + modified by public opinion. + </p> + <p> + “The meaning of the Constitution is fixed when it is adopted, and is not + different at any subsequent time.” + </p> + <p> + This same great author says: + </p> + <p> + “Intent governs. The object of construction applied to a written + constitution is to give effect to the intent of the people in adopting it. + In the case of written laws it is the intent of the lawgiver that is to be + enforced. + </p> + <p> + “But it must not be forgotten in construing our constitutions that in many + particulars they are but the legitimate successors of the great charters + of English liberty whose provisions declaratory of the rights of the + subject have acquired a well understood meaning which the people must be + supposed to have had in view in adopting them. We cannot understand these + unless we understand their history. + </p> + <p> + “It is also a very reasonable rule that a State Constitution shall be + understood and construed in the light, and by the assistance of the common + law, and with the fact in view that its rules are still in force. + </p> + <p> + “It is a maxim with the Courts that statutes in derogation of the common + law shall be construed strictly.” + </p> + <p> + Here, sir, we have the language of Judge Cooley himself. It is as clear as + the noonday's sun, and he utterly repudiates the pernicious doctrine that + the Constitution can grow and develop so as to mean one thing when it is + adopted, and something else at another time. You can never inject anything + into a Constitution by construction which was not in it when adopted. And + you are bound, according to all rules of construction, to give it the + construction which was intended when adopted. No man of common honesty and + common sense dares to assert on this floor that it was the intent when the + Constitution was amended to admit women as lay delegates. It follows + inevitably that they are not constitutionally eligible, and to admit them + is to violate the Constitution of the Church, which, as a Court, we are in + honor bound not to do. + </p> + <p> + It has been asserted with gravity that the right to vote for a person for + office carries with it the right to be voted for unless prohibited by + positive enactment. This proposition is not true, and never has been. We + have seen, when the Constitution and Restrictive Rules were amended, the + intent was to admit men only as lay delegates. No General Conference can, + by resolution or decision, change the Constitution and Restrictive Rules. + Grant, if you please, that the General Conference, by its action in 1880, + had power to make women eligible in the Quarterly Conference as stewards + and class-leaders, this could not qualify her to become a lay delegate in + the law-making body of the Church. The qualifications of lay delegates to + this body must inhere in the Constitution and Restrictive Rules, according + to their intent and meaning when adopted. It is fundamental law that where + general disabilities exist, not simply by statute, but by common law, the + removal of lesser disabilities does not carry with it the removal of the + greater ones. + </p> + <p> + Legislation qualifying women to vote in Wyoming and elsewhere had to be + coupled also with positive enactments qualifying her to be voted for, + otherwise she would have been ineligible to office. This is so, and I defy + any lawyer to show the contrary. + </p> + <p> + §3, Article I, Constitution of the United States, reads: + </p> + <p> + “The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from + each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof for six years. No person + shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the age of thirty years, + and been nine years a citizen of the United States, and who shall not, + when elected, be an inhabitant of the State for which he shall be chosen.” + </p> + <p> + These and no other qualifications are worded or found in the Constitution + of the United States touching the qualification of Senators. Is there a + layman on this floor who will dare assert that under the Constitution of + the United States women are eligible as Representatives or Senators? Words + of common gender are exclusively used as applied to the qualification of + Senators. The words persons and citizens include women the same as they + include men. Nevertheless, in the light of the past, I am bold to assert, + that any man who would dare stand in the Senate of the United States, and + contend that women are eligible to the office of United States Senators, + would be regarded by the civilized world as a person of gush and void of + judgment. + </p> + <p> + Article 14, United States Constitution, §1: + </p> + <p> + “All persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the + jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States, wherein they + reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the <i>privileges</i> + or <i>immunities</i> of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State + deprive any person of life, liberty, or property without due process of + law, <i>nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal + protection of the laws</i>.” + </p> + <p> + (Tax case and what was decided.) (Mrs. Minor <i>vs</i>. Judges of + Election. 53 Mo. 68.) + </p> + <p> + The first case indicates that the word citizen when affecting property + rights includes corporations. + </p> + <p> + The second, that the word person, when it relates to the woman claiming + the right to vote, does not confer upon her that right. + </p> + <p> + The language is: No State shall make or enforce any law which shall + abridge the privileges or immunities of any citizen of the United States. + Nevertheless, a Republican Circuit Judge held this language did not + entitle Mrs. Minor to vote. A democratic Supreme Court of Missouri held + the same, and the Supreme Court of the United States, in an able opinion + written by men known as the friends of women, conclusively demonstrated + that these constitutional guarantees did not confer upon woman the right + to vote. Why? Because, from time immemorial, this right had not obtained + in favor of woman, and these words of common gender should not be so + construed as to confer this right, since it was not intended when made to + affect their status in this regard. + </p> + <p> + THE END + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Samantha Among the Brethren, Complete +by Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA AMONG THE BRETHREN, *** + +***** This file should be named 9450-h.htm or 9450-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/9/4/5/9450/ + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, David Widger and PG Distributed +Proofreaders + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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