initial commit of ebook 1755HEADmain

1 files changed, 3328 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/1755.txt b/1755.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9119a15
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1755.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,3328 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ivanoff, by Anton Checkov
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Ivanoff
+       A Play
+
+Author: Anton Checkov
+
+Posting Date: November 23, 2008 [EBook #1755]
+Release Date: May, 1999
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IVANOFF ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer
+
+
+
+
+
+IVANOFF
+
+A PLAY
+
+By Anton Checkov
+
+
+
+
+CHARACTERS
+
+NICHOLAS IVANOFF, perpetual member of the Council of Peasant Affairs
+
+ANNA, his wife. Nee Sarah Abramson
+
+MATTHEW SHABELSKI, a count, uncle of Ivanoff
+
+PAUL LEBEDIEFF, President of the Board of the Zemstvo
+
+ZINAIDA, his wife
+
+SASHA, their daughter, twenty years old
+
+LVOFF, a young government doctor
+
+MARTHA BABAKINA, a young widow, owner of an estate and daughter of a
+rich merchant
+
+KOSICH, an exciseman
+
+MICHAEL BORKIN, a distant relative of Ivanoff, and manager of his estate
+
+AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, an old woman
+
+GEORGE, lives with the Lebedieffs
+
+FIRST GUEST
+
+SECOND GUEST
+
+THIRD GUEST
+
+FOURTH GUEST
+
+PETER, a servant of Ivanoff
+
+GABRIEL, a servant of Lebedieff
+
+GUESTS OF BOTH SEXES
+
+The play takes place in one of the provinces of central Russia
+
+
+
+
+IVANOFF
+
+
+
+
+ACT I
+
+The garden of IVANOFF'S country place. On the left is a terrace and the
+facade of the house. One window is open. Below the terrace is a broad
+semicircular lawn, from which paths lead to right and left into a
+garden. On the right are several garden benches and tables. A lamp is
+burning on one of the tables. It is evening. As the curtain rises sounds
+of the piano and violoncello are heard.
+
+IVANOFF is sitting at a table reading.
+
+BORKIN, in top-boots and carrying a gun, comes in from the rear of the
+garden. He is a little tipsy. As he sees IVANOFF he comes toward him on
+tiptoe, and when he comes opposite him he stops and points the gun at
+his face.
+
+IVANOFF. [Catches sight of BORKIN. Shudders and jumps to his feet]
+Misha! What are you doing? You frightened me! I can't stand your stupid
+jokes when I am so nervous as this. And having frightened me, you laugh!
+[He sits down.]
+
+BORKIN. [Laughing loudly] There, I am sorry, really. I won't do it
+again. Indeed I won't. [Take off his cap] How hot it is! Just think, my
+dear boy, I have covered twelve miles in the last three hours. I am worn
+out. Just feel how my heart is beating.
+
+
+IVANOFF. [Goes on reading] Oh, very well. I shall feel it later!
+
+BORKIN. No, feel it now. [He takes IVANOFF'S hand and presses it against
+his breast] Can you feel it thumping? That means that it is weak and
+that I may die suddenly at any moment. Would you be sorry if I died?
+
+IVANOFF. I am reading now. I shall attend to you later.
+
+BORKIN. No, seriously, would you be sorry if I died? Nicholas, would you
+be sorry if I died?
+
+IVANOFF. Leave me alone!
+
+BORKIN. Come, tell me if you would be sorry or not.
+
+IVANOFF. I am sorry that you smell so of vodka, Misha, it is disgusting.
+
+BORKIN. Do I smell of vodka? How strange! And yet, it is not so strange
+after all. I met the magistrate on the road, and I must admit that we
+did drink about eight glasses together. Strictly speaking, of course,
+drinking is very harmful. Listen, it is harmful, isn't it? Is it? Is it?
+
+IVANOFF. This is unendurable! Let me warn you, Misha, that you are going
+too far.
+
+BORKIN. Well, well, excuse me. Sit here by yourself then, for heaven's
+sake, if it amuses you. [Gets up and goes away] What extraordinary
+people one meets in the world. They won't even allow themselves to be
+spoken to. [He comes back] Oh, yes, I nearly forgot. Please let me have
+eighty-two roubles.
+
+IVANOFF. Why do you want eighty-two roubles?
+
+BORKIN. To pay the workmen to-morrow.
+
+IVANOFF. I haven't the money.
+
+BORKIN. Many thanks. [Angrily] So you haven't the money! And yet the
+workmen must be paid, mustn't they?
+
+IVANOFF. I don't know. Wait till my salary comes in on the first of the
+month.
+
+BORKIN. How is it possible to discuss anything with a man like you?
+Can't you understand that the workmen are coming to-morrow morning and
+not on the first of the month?
+
+IVANOFF. How can I help it? I'll be hanged if I can do anything about it
+now. And what do you mean by this irritating way you have of pestering
+me whenever I am trying to read or write or----
+
+BORKIN. Must the workmen be paid or not, I ask you? But, good gracious!
+What is the use of talking to you! [Waves his hand] Do you think
+because you own an estate you can command the whole world? With your
+two thousand acres and your empty pockets you are like a man who has a
+cellar full of wine and no corkscrew. I have sold the oats as they
+stand in the field. Yes, sir! And to-morrow I shall sell the rye and
+the carriage horses. [He stamps up and down] Do you think I am going
+to stand upon ceremony with you? Certainly not! I am not that kind of a
+man!
+
+ANNA appears at the open window.
+
+ANNA. Whose voice did I hear just now? Was it yours, Misha? Why are you
+stamping up and down?
+
+BORKIN. Anybody who had anything to do with your Nicholas would stamp up
+and down.
+
+ANNA. Listen, Misha! Please have some hay carried onto the croquet lawn.
+
+BORKIN. [Waves his hand] Leave me alone, please!
+
+ANNA. Oh, what manners! They are not becoming to you at all. If you want
+to be liked by women you must never let them see you when you are angry
+or obstinate. [To her husband] Nicholas, let us go and play on the lawn
+in the hay!
+
+IVANOFF. Don't you know it is bad for you to stand at the open window,
+Annie? [Calls] Shut the window, Uncle!
+
+[The window is shut from the inside.]
+
+BORKIN. Don't forget that the interest on the money you owe Lebedieff
+must be paid in two days.
+
+IVANOFF. I haven't forgotten it. I am going over to see Lebedieff today
+and shall ask him to wait.
+
+[He looks at his watch.]
+
+BORKIN. When are you going?
+
+IVANOFF. At once.
+
+BORKIN. Wait! Wait! Isn't this Sasha's birthday? So it is! The idea of
+my forgetting it. What a memory I have. [Jumps about] I shall go with
+you! [Sings] I shall go, I shall go! Nicholas, old man, you are the joy
+of my life. If you were not always so nervous and cross and gloomy, you
+and I could do great things together. I would do anything for you. Shall
+I marry Martha Babakina and give you half her fortune? That is, not
+half, either, but all--take it all!
+
+IVANOFF. Enough of this nonsense!
+
+BORKIN. No, seriously, shan't I marry Martha and halve the money with
+you? But no, why should I propose it? How can you understand? [Angrily]
+You say to me: "Stop talking nonsense!" You are a good man and a
+clever one, but you haven't any red blood in your veins or any--well,
+enthusiasm. Why, if you wanted to, you and I could cut a dash together
+that would shame the devil himself. If you were a normal man instead of
+a morbid hypochondriac we would have a million in a year. For instance,
+if I had twenty-three hundred roubles now I could make twenty thousand
+in two weeks. You don't believe me? You think it is all nonsense? No,
+it isn't nonsense. Give me twenty-three hundred roubles and let me try.
+Ofsianoff is selling a strip of land across the river for that price.
+If we buy this, both banks will be ours, and we shall have the right to
+build a dam across the river. Isn't that so? We can say that we intend
+to build a mill, and when the people on the river below us hear that
+we mean to dam the river they will, of course, object violently and we
+shall say: If you don't want a dam here you will have to pay to get us
+away. Do you see the result? The factory would give us five thousand
+roubles, Korolkoff three thousand, the monastery five thousand more--
+
+IVANOFF. All that is simply idiotic, Misha. If you don't want me to lose
+my temper you must keep your schemes to yourself.
+
+BORKIN. [Sits down at the table] Of course! I knew how it would be! You
+never will act for yourself, and you tie my hands so that I am helpless.
+
+Enter SHABELSKI and LVOFF.
+
+SHABELSKI. The only difference between lawyers and doctors is that
+lawyers simply rob you, whereas doctors both rob you and kill you. I am
+not referring to any one present. [Sits down on the bench] They are all
+frauds and swindlers. Perhaps in Arcadia you might find an exception to
+the general rule and yet--I have treated thousands of sick people myself
+in my life, and I have never met a doctor who did not seem to me to be
+an unmistakable scoundrel.
+
+BORKIN. [To IVANOFF] Yes, you tie my hands and never do anything for
+yourself, and that is why you have no money.
+
+SHABELSKI. As I said before, I am not referring to any one here at
+present; there may be exceptions though, after all--[He yawns.]
+
+IVANOFF. [Shuts his book] What have you to tell me, doctor?
+
+LVOFF. [Looks toward the window] Exactly what I said this morning: she
+must go to the Crimea at once. [Walks up and down.]
+
+SHABELSKI. [Bursts out laughing] To the Crimea! Why don't you and I set
+up as doctors, Misha? Then, if some Madame Angot or Ophelia finds the
+world tiresome and begins to cough and be consumptive, all we shall
+have to do will be to write out a prescription according to the laws of
+medicine: that is, first, we shall order her a young doctor, and then a
+journey to the Crimea. There some fascinating young Tartar----
+
+IVANOFF. [Interrupting] Oh, don't be coarse! [To LVOFF] It takes money
+to go to the Crimea, and even if I could afford it, you know she has
+refused to go.
+
+LVOFF. Yes, she has. [A pause.]
+
+BORKIN. Look here, doctor, is Anna really so ill that she absolutely
+must go to the Crimea?
+
+LVOFF. [Looking toward the window] Yes, she has consumption.
+
+BORKIN. Whew! How sad! I have seen in her face for some time that she
+could not last much longer.
+
+LVOFF. Can't you speak quietly? She can hear everything you say. [A
+pause.]
+
+BORKIN. [Sighing] The life of man is like a flower, blooming so gaily in
+a field. Then, along comes a goat, he eats it, and the flower is gone!
+
+SHABELSKI. Oh, nonsense, nonsense. [Yawning] Everything is a fraud and a
+swindle. [A pause.]
+
+BORKIN. Gentlemen, I have been trying to tell Nicholas how he can make
+some money, and have submitted a brilliant plan to him, but my seed,
+as usual, has fallen on barren soil. Look what a sight he is now: dull,
+cross, bored, peevish----
+
+SHABELSKI. [Gets up and stretches himself] You are always inventing
+schemes for everybody, you clever fellow, and telling them how to live;
+can't you tell me something? Give me some good advice, you ingenious
+young man. Show me a good move to make.
+
+BORKIN. [Getting up] I am going to have a swim. Goodbye, gentlemen. [To
+Shabelski] There are at least twenty good moves you could make. If I
+were you I should have twenty thousand roubles in a week.
+
+[He goes out; SHABELSKI follows him.]
+
+SHABELSKI. How would you do it? Come, explain.
+
+BORKIN. There is nothing to explain, it is so simple. [Coming back]
+Nicholas, give me a rouble.
+
+IVANOFF silently hands him the money
+
+BORKIN. Thanks. Shabelski, you still hold some trump cards.
+
+SHABELSKI follows him out.
+
+SHABELSKI. Well, what are they?
+
+BORKIN. If I were you I should have thirty thousand roubles and more in
+a week. [They go out together.]
+
+IVANOFF. [After a pause] Useless people, useless talk, and the necessity
+of answering stupid questions, have wearied me so, doctor, that I am
+ill. I have become so irritable and bitter that I don't know myself.
+My head aches for days at a time. I hear a ringing in my ears, I can't
+sleep, and yet there is no escape from it all, absolutely none.
+
+LVOFF. Ivanoff, I have something serious to speak to you about.
+
+IVANOFF. What is it?
+
+LVOFF. It is about your wife. She refuses to go to the Crimea alone, but
+she would go with you.
+
+IVANOFF. [Thoughtfully] It would cost a great deal for us both to go,
+and besides, I could not get leave to be away for so long. I have had
+one holiday already this year.
+
+LVOFF. Very well, let us admit that. Now to proceed. The best cure for
+consumption is absolute peace of mind, and your wife has none whatever.
+She is forever excited by your behaviour to her. Forgive me, I am
+excited and am going to speak frankly. Your treatment of her is killing
+her. [A pause] Ivanoff, let me believe better things of you.
+
+IVANOFF. What you say is true, true. I must be terribly guilty, but my
+mind is confused. My will seems to be paralysed by a kind of stupor; I
+can't understand myself or any one else. [Looks toward the window] Come,
+let us take a walk, we might be overheard here. [They get up] My dear
+friend, you should hear the whole story from the beginning if it were
+not so long and complicated that to tell it would take all night. [They
+walk up and down] Anna is a splendid, an exceptional woman. She has left
+her faith, her parents and her fortune for my sake. If I should demand
+a hundred other sacrifices, she would consent to every one without the
+quiver of an eyelid. Well, I am not a remarkable man in any way, and
+have sacrificed nothing. However, the story is a long one. In short, the
+whole point is, my dear doctor--[Confused] that I married her for love
+and promised to love her forever, and now after five years she loves me
+still and I--[He waves his hand] Now, when you tell me she is dying, I
+feel neither love nor pity, only a sort of loneliness and weariness. To
+all appearances this must seem horrible, and I cannot understand myself
+what is happening to me. [They go out.]
+
+SHABELSKI comes in.
+
+SHABELSKI. [Laughing] Upon my word, that man is no scoundrel, but a
+great thinker, a master-mind. He deserves a memorial. He is the essence
+of modern ingenuity, and combines in himself alone the genius of the
+lawyer, the doctor, and the financier. [He sits down on the lowest step
+of the terrace] And yet he has never finished a course of studies in any
+college; that is so surprising. What an ideal scoundrel he would have
+made if he had acquired a little culture and mastered the sciences! "You
+could make twenty thousand roubles in a week," he said. "You still hold
+the ace of trumps: it is your title." [Laughing] He said I might get
+a rich girl to marry me for it! [ANNA opens the window and looks down]
+"Let me make a match between you and Martha," says he. Who is this
+Martha? It must be that Balabalkina--Babakalkina woman, the one that
+looks like a laundress.
+
+ANNA. Is that you, Count?
+
+SHABELSKI. What do you want?
+
+ANNA laughs.
+
+SHABELSKI. [With a Jewish accent] Vy do you laugh?
+
+ANNA. I was thinking of something you said at dinner, do you remember?
+How was it--a forgiven thief, a doctored horse.
+
+SHABELSKI. A forgiven thief, a doctored horse, and a Christianised Jew
+are all worth the same price.
+
+ANNA. [Laughing] You can't even repeat the simplest saying without
+ill-nature. You are a most malicious old man. [Seriously] Seriously,
+Count you are extremely disagreeable, and very tiresome and painful to
+live with. You are always grumbling and growling, and everybody to you
+is a blackguard and a scoundrel. Tell me honestly, Count, have you ever
+spoken well of any one?
+
+SHABELSKI. Is this an inquisition?
+
+ANNA. We have lived under this same roof now for five years, and I
+have never heard you speak kindly of people, or without bitterness and
+derision. What harm has the world done to you? Is it possible that you
+consider yourself better than any one else?
+
+SHABELSKI. Not at all. I think we are all of us scoundrels and
+hypocrites. I myself am a degraded old man, and as useless as a cast-off
+shoe. I abuse myself as much as any one else. I was rich once, and free,
+and happy at times, but now I am a dependent, an object of charity, a
+joke to the world. When I am at last exasperated and defy them, they
+answer me with a laugh. When I laugh, they shake their heads sadly and
+say, "The old man has gone mad." But oftenest of all I am unheard and
+unnoticed by every one.
+
+ANNA. [Quietly] Screaming again.
+
+SHABELSKI. Who is screaming?
+
+ANNA. The owl. It screams every evening.
+
+SHABELSKI. Let it scream. Things are as bad as they can be already.
+[Stretches himself] Alas, my dear Sarah! If I could only win a thousand
+or two roubles, I should soon show you what I could do. I wish you
+could see me! I should get away out of this hole, and leave the bread of
+charity, and should not show my nose here again until the last judgment
+day.
+
+ANNA. What would you do if you were to win so much money?
+
+SHABELSKI. [Thoughtfully] First I would go to Moscow to hear the Gipsies
+play, and then--then I should fly to Paris and take an apartment and go
+to the Russian Church.
+
+ANNA. And what else?
+
+SHABELSKI. I would go and sit on my wife's grave for days and days and
+think. I would sit there until I died. My wife is buried in Paris. [A
+pause.]
+
+ANNA. How terribly dull this is! Shall we play a duet?
+
+SHABELSKI. As you like. Go and get the music ready. [ANNA goes out.]
+
+IVANOFF and LVOFF appear in one of the paths.
+
+IVANOFF. My dear friend, you left college last year, and you are still
+young and brave. Being thirty-five years old I have the right to advise
+you. Don't marry a Jewess or a bluestocking or a woman who is queer in
+any way. Choose some nice, common-place girl without any strange and
+startling points in her character. Plan your life for quiet; the greyer
+and more monotonous you can make the background, the better. My dear
+boy, do not try to fight alone against thousands; do not tilt with
+windmills; do not dash yourself against the rocks. And, above all,
+may you be spared the so-called rational life, all wild theories and
+impassioned talk. Everything is in the hands of God, so shut yourself
+up in your shell and do your best. That is the pleasant, honest, healthy
+way to live. But the life I have chosen has been so tiring, oh, so
+tiring! So full of mistakes, of injustice and stupidity! [Catches sight
+of SHABELSKI, and speaks angrily] There you are again, Uncle, always
+under foot, never letting one have a moment's quiet talk!
+
+SHABELSKI. [In a tearful voice] Is there no refuge anywhere for a poor
+old devil like me? [He jumps up and runs into the house.]
+
+IVANOFF. Now I have offended him! Yes, my nerves have certainly gone to
+pieces. I must do something about it, I must----
+
+LVOFF. [Excitedly] Ivanoff, I have heard all you have to say and--and--I
+am going to speak frankly. You have shown me in your voice and manner,
+as well as in your words, the most heartless egotism and pitiless
+cruelty. Your nearest friend is dying simply because she is near you,
+her days are numbered, and you can feel such indifference that you go
+about giving advice and analysing your feelings. I cannot say all I
+should like to; I have not the gift of words, but--but I can at least
+say that you are deeply antipathetic to me.
+
+IVANOFF. I suppose I am. As an onlooker, of course you see me more
+clearly than I see myself, and your judgment of me is probably right.
+No doubt I am terribly guilty. [Listens] I think I hear the carriage
+coming. I must get ready to go. [He goes toward the house and then
+stops] You dislike me, doctor, and you don't conceal it. Your sincerity
+does you credit. [He goes into the house.]
+
+LVOFF. [Alone] What a confoundedly disagreeable character! I have let
+another opportunity slip without speaking to him as I meant to, but I
+simply cannot talk calmly to that man. The moment I open my mouth to
+speak I feel such a commotion and suffocation here [He puts his hand on
+his breast] that my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. Oh, I loathe
+that Tartuffe, that unmitigated rascal, with all my heart! There he is,
+preparing to go driving in spite of the entreaties of his unfortunate
+wife, who adores him and whose only happiness is his presence. She
+implores him to spend at least one evening with her, and he cannot even
+do that. Why, he might shoot himself in despair if he had to stay at
+home! Poor fellow, what he wants are new fields for his villainous
+schemes. Oh, I know why you go to Lebedieff's every evening, Ivanoff! I
+know.
+
+Enter IVANOFF, in hat and coat, ANNA and SHABELSKI
+
+SHABELSKI. Look here, Nicholas, this is simply barbarous You go away
+every evening and leave us here alone, and we get so bored that we have
+to go to bed at eight o'clock. It is a scandal, and no decent way of
+living. Why can you go driving if we can't? Why?
+
+ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Let him go if he wants to.
+
+IVANOFF. How can a sick woman like you go anywhere? You know you have a
+cough and must not go out after sunset. Ask the doctor here. You are no
+child, Annie, you must be reasonable. And as for you, what would you do
+with yourself over there?
+
+SHABELSKI. I am ready to go anywhere: into the jaws of a crocodile, or
+even into the jaws of hell, so long as I don't have to stay here. I am
+horribly bored. I am stupefied by this dullness. Every one here is tired
+of me. You leave me at home to entertain Anna, but I feel more like
+scratching and biting her.
+
+ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Leave him alone. Let him go if he enjoys
+himself there.
+
+IVANOFF. What does this mean, Annie? You know I am not going for
+pleasure. I must see Lebedieff about the money I owe him.
+
+ANNA. I don't see why you need justify yourself to me. Go ahead! Who is
+keeping you?
+
+IVANOFF. Heavens! Don't let us bite one another's heads off. Is that
+really unavoidable?
+
+SHABELSKI. [Tearfully] Nicholas, my dear boy, do please take me with
+you. I might possibly be amused a little by the sight of all the fools
+and scoundrels I should see there. You know I haven't been off this
+place since Easter.
+
+IVANOFF. [Exasperated] Oh, very well! Come along then! How tiresome you
+all are!
+
+SHABELSKI. I may go? Oh, thank you! [Takes him gaily by the arm and
+leads him aside] May I wear your straw hat?
+
+IVANOFF. You may, only hurry, please.
+
+SHABELSKI runs into the house.
+
+IVANOFF. How tired I am of you all! But no, what am I saying? Annie, my
+manner to you is insufferable, and it never used to be. Well, good-bye,
+Annie. I shall be back by one.
+
+ANNA. Nicholas! My dear husband, stay at home to-night!
+
+IVANOFF. [Excitedly] Darling, sweetheart, my dear, unhappy one, I
+implore you to let me leave home in the evenings. I know it is cruel and
+unjust to ask this, but let me do you this injustice. It is such torture
+for me to stay. As soon as the sun goes down my soul is overwhelmed by
+the most horrible despair. Don't ask me why; I don't know; I swear I
+don't. This dreadful melancholy torments me here, it drives me to the
+Lebedieff's and there it grows worse than ever. I rush home; it still
+pursues me; and so I am tortured all through the night. It is breaking
+my heart.
+
+ANNA. Nicholas, won't you stay? We will talk together as we used to.
+We will have supper together and read afterward. The old grumbler and I
+have learned so many duets to play to you. [She kisses him. Then, after
+a pause] I can't understand you any more. This has been going on for a
+year now. What has changed you so?
+
+IVANOFF. I don't know.
+
+ANNA. And why don't you want me to go driving with you in the evening?
+
+IVANOFF. As you insist on knowing, I shall have to tell you. It is a
+little cruel, but you had best understand. When this melancholy fit is
+on me I begin to dislike you, Annie, and at such times I must escape
+from you. In short, I simply have to leave this house.
+
+ANNA. Oh, you are sad, are you? I can understand that! Nicholas, let
+me tell you something: won't you try to sing and laugh and scold as you
+used to? Stay here, and we will drink some liqueur together, and laugh,
+and chase away this sadness of yours in no time. Shall I sing to you? Or
+shall we sit in your study in the twilight as we used to, while you tell
+me about your sadness? I can read such suffering in your eyes! Let
+me look into them and weep, and our hearts will both be lighter. [She
+laughs and cries at once] Or is it really true that the flowers return
+with every spring, but lost happiness never returns? Oh, is it? Well, go
+then, go!
+
+IVANOFF. Pray for me, Annie! [He goes; then stops and thinks for a
+moment] No, I can't do it. [IVANOFF goes out.]
+
+ANNA. Yes, go, go--[Sits down at the table.]
+
+LVOFF. [Walking up and down] Make this a rule, Madam: as soon as the sun
+goes down you must go indoors and not come out again until morning. The
+damp evening air is bad for you.
+
+ANNA. Yes, sir!
+
+LVOFF. What do you mean by "Yes, sir"? I am speaking seriously.
+
+ANNA. But I don't want to be serious. [She coughs.]
+
+LVOFF. There now, you see, you are coughing already.
+
+SHABELSKI comes out of the house in his hat and coat.
+
+SHABELSKI. Where is Nicholas? Is the carriage here yet? [Goes quickly
+to ANNA and kisses her hand] Good-night, my darling! [Makes a face and
+speaks with a Jewish accent] I beg your bardon! [He goes quickly out.]
+
+LVOFF. Idiot!
+
+A pause; the sounds of a concertina are heard in the distance.
+
+ANNA. Oh, how lonely it is! The coachman and the cook are having a
+little ball in there by themselves, and I--I am, as it were, abandoned.
+Why are you walking about, Doctor? Come and sit down here.
+
+LVOFF. I can't sit down.
+
+[A pause.]
+
+ANNA. They are playing "The Sparrow" in the kitchen. [She sings]
+
+   "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you?
+    On the mountain drinking dew."
+
+[A pause] Are your father and mother living, Doctor?
+
+LVOFF. My mother is living; my father is dead.
+
+ANNA. Do you miss your mother very much?
+
+LVOFF. I am too busy to miss any one.
+
+ANNA. [Laughing] The flowers return with every spring, but lost
+happiness never returns. I wonder who taught me that? I think it was
+Nicholas himself. [Listens] The owl is hooting again.
+
+LVOFF. Well, let it hoot.
+
+ANNA. I have begun to think, Doctor, that fate has cheated me. Other
+people who, perhaps, are no better than I am are happy and have not had
+to pay for their happiness. But I have paid for it all, every moment of
+it, and such a price! Why should I have to pay so terribly? Dear friend,
+you are all too considerate and gentle with me to tell me the truth; but
+do you think I don't know what is the matter with me? I know perfectly
+well. However, this isn't a pleasant subject--[With a Jewish accent] "I
+beg your bardon!" Can you tell funny stories?
+
+LVOFF. No, I can't.
+
+ANNA. Nicholas can. I am beginning to be surprised, too, at the
+injustice of people. Why do they return hatred for love, and answer
+truth with lies? Can you tell me how much longer I shall be hated by my
+mother and father? They live fifty miles away, and yet I can feel their
+hatred day and night, even in my sleep. And how do you account for the
+sadness of Nicholas? He says that he only dislikes me in the evening,
+when the fit is on him. I understand that, and can tolerate it, but
+what if he should come to dislike me altogether? Of course that is
+impossible, and yet--no, no, I mustn't even imagine such a thing.
+[Sings]
+
+   "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you?"
+
+[She shudders] What fearful thoughts I have! You are not married,
+Doctor; there are many things that you cannot understand.
+
+LVOFF. You say you are surprised, but--but it is you who surprise me.
+Tell me, explain to me how you, an honest and intelligent woman, almost
+a saint, could allow yourself to be so basely deceived and dragged into
+this den of bears? Why are you here? What have you in common with such a
+cold and heartless--but enough of your husband! What have you in common
+with these wicked and vulgar surroundings? With that eternal grumbler,
+the crazy and decrepit Count? With that swindler, that prince of
+rascals, Misha, with his fool's face? Tell me, I say, how did you get
+here?
+
+ANNA. [laughing] That is what he used to say, long ago, oh, exactly!
+Only his eyes are larger than yours, and when he was excited they used
+to shine like coals--go on, go on!
+
+LVOFF. [Gets up and waves his hand] There is nothing more to say. Go
+into the house.
+
+ANNA. You say that Nicholas is not what he should be, that his faults
+are so and so. How can you possibly understand him? How can you learn
+to know any one in six months? He is a wonderful man, Doctor, and I am
+sorry you could not have known him as he was two or three years ago. He
+is depressed and silent now, and broods all day without doing anything,
+but he was splendid then. I fell in love with him at first sight.
+[Laughing] I gave one look and was caught like a mouse in a trap! So
+when he asked me to go with him I cut every tie that bound me to my
+old life as one snips the withered leaves from a plant. But things are
+different now. Now he goes to the Lebedieff's to amuse himself with
+other women, and I sit here in the garden and listen to the owls. [The
+WATCHMAN'S rattle is heard] Tell me, Doctor, have you any brothers and
+sisters?
+
+LVOFF. No.
+
+ANNA sobs.
+
+LVOFF. What is it? What is the matter?
+
+ANNA. I can't stand it, Doctor, I must go.
+
+LVOFF. Where?
+
+ANNA. To him. I am going. Have the horses harnessed. [She runs into the
+house.]
+
+LVOFF. No, I certainly cannot go on treating any one under these
+conditions. I not only have to do it for nothing, but I am forced to
+endure this agony of mind besides. No, no, I can't stand it. I have had
+enough of it. [He goes into the house.]
+
+The curtain falls.
+
+
+
+
+ACT II
+
+The drawing-room of LEBEDIEFFOS house. In the centre is a door leading
+into a garden. Doors open out of the room to the right and left. The
+room is furnished with valuable old furniture, which is carefully
+protected by linen covers. The walls are hung with pictures. The room is
+lighted by candelabra. ZINAIDA is sitting on a sofa; the elderly guests
+are sitting in arm-chairs on either hand. The young guests are sitting
+about the room on small chairs. KOSICH, AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, GEORGE, and
+others are playing cards in the background. GABRIEL is standing near
+the door on the right. The maid is passing sweetmeats about on a tray.
+During the entire act guests come and go from the garden, through the
+room, out of the door on the left, and back again. Enter MARTHA through
+the door on the right. She goes toward ZINAIDA.
+
+ZINAIDA. [Gaily] My dearest Martha!
+
+MARTHA. How do you do, Zinaida? Let me congratulate you on your
+daughter's birthday.
+
+ZINAIDA. Thank you, my dear; I am delighted to see you. How are you?
+
+MARTHA. Very well indeed, thank you. [She sits down on the sofa] Good
+evening, young people!
+
+The younger guests get up and bow.
+
+FIRST GUEST. [Laughing] Young people indeed! Do you call yourself an old
+person?
+
+MARTHA. [Sighing] How can I make any pretense to youth now?
+
+FIRST GUEST. What nonsense! The fact that you are a widow means nothing.
+You could beat any pretty girl you chose at a canter.
+
+GABRIEL brings MARTHA some tea.
+
+ZINAIDA. Why do you bring the tea in like that? Go and fetch some jam to
+eat with it!
+
+MARTHA. No thank you; none for me, don't trouble yourself. [A pause.]
+
+FIRST GUEST. [To MARTHA] Did you come through Mushkine on your way here?
+
+MARTHA. No, I came by way of Spassk. The road is better that way.
+
+FIRST GUEST. Yes, so it is.
+
+KOSICH. Two in spades.
+
+GEORGE. Pass.
+
+AVDOTIA. Pass.
+
+SECOND GUEST. Pass.
+
+MARTHA. The price of lottery tickets has gone up again, my dear. I have
+never known such a state of affairs. The first issue is already worth
+two hundred and seventy and the second nearly two hundred and fifty.
+This has never happened before.
+
+ZINAIDA. How fortunate for those who have a great many tickets!
+
+MARTHA. Don't say that, dear; even when the price of tickets is high it
+does not pay to put one's capital into them.
+
+ZINAIDA. Quite true, and yet, my dear, one never can tell what may
+happen. Providence is sometimes kind.
+
+THIRD GUEST. My impression is, ladies, that at present capital
+is exceedingly unproductive. Shares pay very small dividends, and
+speculating is exceedingly dangerous. As I understand it, the capitalist
+now finds himself in a more critical position than the man who----
+
+MARTHA. Quite right.
+
+FIRST GUEST yawns.
+
+MARTHA. How dare you yawn in the presence of ladies?
+
+FIRST GUEST. I beg your pardon! It was quite an accident.
+
+ZINAIDA gets up and goes out through the door on the right.
+
+GEORGE. Two in hearts.
+
+SECOND GUEST. Pass.
+
+KOSICH. Pass.
+
+MARTHA. [Aside] Heavens! This is deadly! I shall die of ennui.
+
+Enter ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF through the door on the right.
+
+ZINAIDA. Why do you go off by yourself like a prima donna? Come and sit
+with our guests!
+
+[She sits down in her former place.]
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Yawning] Oh, dear, our sins are heavy! [He catches sight of
+MARTHA] Why, there is my little sugar-plum! How is your most esteemed
+highness?
+
+MARTHA. Very well, thank you.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Splendid, splendid! [He sits down in an armchair] Quite
+right--Oh, Gabriel!
+
+GABRIEL brings him a glass of vodka and a tumbler of water. He empties
+the glass of vodka and sips the water.
+
+FIRST GUEST. Good health to you!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Good health is too much to ask. I am content to keep death
+from the door. [To his wife] Where is the heroine of this occasion,
+Zuzu?
+
+KOSICH. [In a plaintive voice] Look here, why haven't we taken any
+tricks yet? [He jumps up] Yes, why have we lost this game entirely,
+confound it?
+
+AVDOTIA. [Jumps up angrily] Because, friend, you don't know how to play
+it, and have no right to be sitting here at all. What right had you to
+lead from another suit? Haven't you the ace left? [They both leave the
+table and run forward.]
+
+KOSICH. [In a tearful voice] Ladies and gentlemen, let me explain! I had
+the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the ace of spades and one,
+just one, little heart, do you understand? Well, she, bad luck to her,
+she couldn't make a little slam. I said one in no-trumps---- *
+
+     * The game played is vint, the national card-game of Russia
+     and the direct ancestor of auction bridge, with which it is
+     almost identical. [translator's note]
+
+AVDOTIA. [Interrupting him] No, I said one in no-trumps; you said two in
+no-trumps----
+
+KOSICH. This is unbearable! Allow me--you had--I had--you had--[To
+LEBEDIEFF] But you shall decide it, Paul: I had the ace, king, queen,
+and eight of diamonds----
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Puts his fingers into his ears] Stop, for heaven's sake,
+stop!
+
+AVDOTIA. [Yelling] I said no-trumps, and not he!
+
+KOSICH. [Furiously] I'll be damned if I ever sit down to another game of
+cards with that old cat!
+
+He rushes into the garden. The SECOND GUEST follows him. GEORGE is left
+alone at the table.
+
+AVDOTIA. Whew! He makes my blood boil! Old cat, indeed! You're an old
+cat yourself!
+
+MARTHA. How angry you are, aunty!
+
+AVDOTIA. [Sees MARTHA and claps her hands] Are you here, my darling?
+My beauty! And was I blind as a bat, and didn't see you? Darling child!
+[She kisses her and sits down beside her] How happy this makes me! Let
+me feast my eyes on you, my milk-white swan! Oh, oh, you have bewitched
+me!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Why don't you find her a husband instead of singing her
+praises?
+
+AVDOTIA. He shall be found. I shall not go to my grave before I have
+found a husband for her, and one for Sasha too. I shall not go to my
+grave--[She sighs] But where to find these husbands nowadays? There
+sit some possible bridegrooms now, huddled together like a lot of
+half-drowned rats!
+
+THIRD GUEST. A most unfortunate comparison! It is my belief, ladies,
+that if the young men of our day prefer to remain single, the fault lies
+not with them, but with the existing, social conditions!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Come, enough of that! Don't give us any mo re philosophy; I
+don't like it!
+
+Enter SASHA. She goes up to her father.
+
+SASHA. How can you endure the stuffy air of this room when the weather
+is so beautiful?
+
+ZINAIDA. My dear Sasha, don't you see that Martha is here?
+
+SASHA. I beg your pardon.
+
+[She goes up to MARTHA and shakes hands.]
+
+MARTHA. Yes, here I am, my dear little Sasha, and proud to congratulate
+you. [They kiss each other] Many happy returns of the day, dear!
+
+SASHA. Thank you! [She goes and sits down by her father.]
+
+LEBEDIEFF. As you were saying, Avdotia Nazarovna, husbands are hard to
+find. I don't want to be rude, but I must say that the young men of the
+present are a dull and poky lot, poor fellows! They can't dance or talk
+or drink as they should do.
+
+AVDOTIA. Oh, as far as drinking goes, they are all experts. Just give
+them--give them----
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Simply to drink is no art. A horse can drink. No, it must be
+done in the right way. In my young days we used to sit and cudgel our
+brains all day over our lessons, but as soon as evening came we would
+fly off on some spree and keep it up till dawn. How we used to dance and
+flirt, and drink, too! Or sometimes we would sit and chatter and discuss
+everything under the sun until we almost wagged our tongues off. But
+now--[He waves his hand] Boys are a puzzle to me. They are not willing
+either to give a candle to God or a pitchfork to the devil! There is
+only one young fellow in the country who is worth a penny, and he is
+married. [Sighs] They say, too, that he is going crazy.
+
+MARTHA. Who is he?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Nicholas Ivanoff.
+
+MARTHA. Yes, he is a fine fellow, only [Makes a face] he is very
+unhappy.
+
+ZINAIDA. How could he be otherwise, poor boy! [She sighs] He made such
+a bad mistake. When he married that Jewess of his he thought of course
+that her parents would give away whole mountains of gold with her, but,
+on the contrary, on the day she became a Christian they disowned her,
+and Ivanoff has never seen a penny of the money. He has repented of his
+folly now, but it is too late.
+
+SASHA. Mother, that is not true!
+
+MARTHA. How can you say it is not true, Sasha, when we all know it to be
+a fact? Why did he have to marry a Jewess? He must have had some reason
+for doing it. Are Russian girls so scarce? No, he made a mistake, poor
+fellow, a sad mistake. [Excitedly] And what on earth can he do with her
+now? Where could she go if he were to come home some day and say: "Your
+parents have deceived me; leave my house at once!" Her parents wouldn't
+take her back. She might find a place as a house-maid if she had ever
+learned to work, which she hasn't. He worries and worries her now, but
+the Count interferes. If it had not been for the Count, he would have
+worried her to death long ago.
+
+AVDOTIA. They say he shuts her up in a cellar and stuffs her with
+garlic, and she eats and eats until her very soul reeks of it.
+[Laughter.]
+
+SASHA. But, father, you know that isn't true!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. What if it isn't, Sasha? Let them spin yarns if it amuses
+them. [He calls] Gabriel!
+
+GABRIEL brings him another glass of vodka and a glass of water.
+
+ZINAIDA. His misfortunes have almost ruined him, poor man. His affairs
+are in a frightful condition. If Borkin did not take such good charge
+of his estate he and his Jewess would soon be starving to death. [She
+sighs] And what anxiety he has caused us! Heaven only knows how we have
+suffered. Do you realise, my dear, that for three years he has owed us
+nine thousand roubles?
+
+MARTHA. [Horrified] Nine thousand!
+
+ZINAIDA. Yes, that is the sum that my dear Paul has undertaken to lend
+him. He never knows to whom it is safe to lend money and to whom it is
+not. I don't worry about the principal, but he ought to pay the interest
+on his debt.
+
+SASHA. [Hotly] Mamma, you have already discussed this subject at least a
+thousand times!
+
+ZINAIDA. What difference does it make to you? Why should you interfere?
+
+SASHA. What is this mania you all have for gossiping about a man who has
+never done any of you any harm? Tell me, what harm has he done you?
+
+THIRD GUEST. Let me say two words, Miss Sasha. I esteem Ivanoff, and
+have always found him an honourable man, but, between ourselves, I also
+consider him an adventurer.
+
+SASHA. I congratulate you on your opinion!
+
+THIRD GUEST. In proof of its truth, permit me to present to you the
+following facts, as they were communicated to me by his secretary, or
+shall I say rather, by his factotum, Borkin. Two years ago, at the time
+of the cattle plague, he bought some cattle and had them insured--
+
+ZINAIDA. Yes, I remember hearing' of that.
+
+THIRD GUEST. He had them insured, as you understand, and then inoculated
+them with the disease and claimed the insurance.
+
+SASHA. Oh, what nonsense, nonsense, nonsense! No one bought or
+inoculated any cattle! The story was invented by Borkin, who then went
+about boasting of his clever plan. Ivanoff would not forgive Borkin for
+two weeks after he heard of it. He is only guilty of a weak character
+and too great faith in humanity. He can't make up his mind to get rid
+of that Borkin, and so all his possessions have been tricked and stolen
+from him. Every one who has had anything to do with Ivanoff has taken
+advantage of his generosity to grow rich.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Sasha, you little firebrand, that will do!
+
+SASHA. Why do you all talk like this? This eternal subject of Ivanoff,
+Ivanoff, and always Ivanoff has grown insufferable, and yet you never
+speak of anything else. [She goes toward the door, then stops and comes
+back] I am surprised, [To the young men] and utterly astonished at your
+patience, young men! How can you sit there like that? Aren't you bored?
+Why, the very air is as dull as ditchwater! Do, for heaven's sake say
+something; try to amuse the girls a little, move about! Or if you can't
+talk of anything except Ivanoff, you might laugh or sing or dance----
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] That's right, Sasha! Give them a good scolding.
+
+SASHA. Look here, will you do me a favour? If you refuse to dance or
+sing or laugh, if all that is tedious, then let me beg you, implore you,
+to summon all your powers, if only for this once, and make one witty or
+clever remark. Let it be as impertinent and malicious as you like, so
+long as it is funny and original. Won't you perform this miracle, just
+once, to surprise us and make us laugh? Or else you might think of some
+little thing which you could all do together, something to make you stir
+about. Let the girls admire you for once in their lives! Listen to me!
+I suppose you want them to like you? Then why don't try to make them do
+it? Oh, dear! There is something wrong with you all! You are a lot of
+sleepy stick-in-the-muds! I have told you so a thousand times and shall
+always go on repeating it; there is something wrong with every one of
+you; something wrong, wrong, wrong!
+
+Enter IVANOFF and SHABELSKI through the door on the right.
+
+SHABELSKI. Who is making a speech here? Is it you, Sasha? [He laughs and
+shakes hands with her] Many happy returns of the day, my dear child. May
+you live as long as possible in this life, but never be born again!
+
+ZINAIDA. [Joyfully] My dear Count!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Who can this be? Not you, Count?
+
+SHABELSKI. [Sees ZINAIDA and MARTHA sitting side by side] Two gold mines
+side by side! What a pleasant picture it makes! [He shakes hands with
+ZINAIDA] Good evening, Zuzu! [Shakes hands with MARTHA] Good evening,
+Birdie!
+
+ZINAIDA. I am charmed to see you, Count. You are a rare visitor here
+now. [Calls] Gabriel, bring some tea! Please sit down.
+
+She gets up and goes to the door and back, evidently much preoccupied.
+SASHA sits down in her former place. IVANOFF silently shakes hands with
+every one.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] What miracle has brought you here? You have
+given us a great surprise. Why, Count, you're a rascal, you haven't been
+treating us right at all. [Leads him forward by the hand] Tell me, why
+don't you ever come to see us now? Are you offended?
+
+SHABELSKI. How can I get here to see you? Astride a broomstick? I have
+no horses of my own, and Nicholas won't take me with him when he goes
+out. He says I must stay at home to amuse Sarah. Send your horses for me
+and I shall come with pleasure.
+
+LEBE DIEFF. [With a wave of the hand] Oh, that is easy to say! But Zuzu
+would rather have a fit than lend the horses to any one. My dear,
+dear old friend, you are more to me than any one I know! You and I are
+survivors of those good old days that are gone forever, and you alone
+bring back to my mind the love and longings of my lost youth. Of course
+I am only joking, and yet, do you know, I am almost in tears?
+
+SHABELSKI. Stop, stop! You smell like the air of a wine cellar.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Dear friend, you cannot imagine how lonely I am without my
+old companions! I could hang myself! [Whispers] Zuzu has frightened
+all the decent men away with her stingy ways, and now we have only this
+riff-raff, as you see: Tom, Dick, and Harry. However, drink your tea.
+
+ZINAIDA. [Anxiously, to GABRIEL] Don't bring it in like that! Go fetch
+some jam to eat with it!
+
+SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Didn't I tell you so? [To
+LEBEDIEFF] I bet him driving over, that as soon as we arrived Zuzu would
+want to feed us with jam!
+
+ZINAIDA. Still joking, Count! [She sits down.]
+
+LEBEDIEFF. She made twenty jars of it this year, and how else do you
+expect her to get rid of it?
+
+SHABELSKI. [Sits down near the table] Are you still adding to the hoard,
+Zuzu? You will soon have a million, eh?
+
+ZINAIDA. [Sighing] I know it seems as if no one could be richer than we,
+but where do they think the money comes from? It is all gossip.
+
+SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, we all know that! We know how badly you play your
+cards! Tell me, Paul, honestly, have you saved up a million yet?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. I don't know. Ask Zuzu.
+
+SHABELSKI. [To MARTHA] And my plump little Birdie here will soon have a
+million too! She is getting prettier and plumper not only every day, but
+every hour. That means she has a nice little fortune.
+
+MARTHA. Thank you very much, your highness, but I don't like such jokes.
+
+SHABELSKI. My dear little gold mine, do you call that a joke? It was a
+wail of the soul, a cry from the heart, that burst through my lips.
+My love for you and Zuzu is immense. [Gaily] Oh, rapture! Oh, bliss! I
+cannot look at you two without a madly beating heart!
+
+ZINAIDA. You are still the same, Count. [To GEORGE] Put out the candles
+please, George. [GEORGE gives a start. He puts out the candles and sits
+down again] How is your wife, Nicholas?
+
+IVANOFF. She is very ill. The doctor said to-day that she certainly had
+consumption.
+
+ZINAIDA. Really? Oh, how sad! [She sighs] And we are all so fond of her!
+
+SHABELSKI. What trash you all talk! That story was invented by that sham
+doctor, and is nothing but a trick of his. He wants to masquerade as an
+Aesculapius, and so has started this consumption theory. Fortunately
+her husband isn't jealous. [IVANOFF makes an inpatient gesture] As for
+Sarah, I wouldn't trust a word or an action of hers. I have made a point
+all my life of mistrusting all doctors, lawyers, and women. They are
+shammers and deceivers.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] You are an extraordinary person, Matthew! You
+have mounted this misanthropic hobby of yours, and you ride it through
+thick and thin like a lunatic You are a man like any other, and yet,
+from the way you talk one would imagine that you had the pip, or a cold
+in the head.
+
+SHABELSKI. Would you have me go about kissing every rascal and scoundrel
+I meet?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Where do you find all these rascals and scoundrels?
+
+SHABELSKI. Of course I am not talking of any one here present,
+nevertheless-----
+
+LEBEDIEFF. There you are again with your "nevertheless." All this is
+simply a fancy of yours.
+
+SHABELSKI. A fancy? It is lucky for you that you have no knowledge of
+the world!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. My knowledge of the world is this: I must sit here prepared
+at any moment to have death come knocking at the door. That is my
+knowledge of the world. At our age, brother, you and I can't afford to
+worry about knowledge of the world. So then--[He calls] Oh, Gabriel!
+
+SHABELSKI. You have had quite enough already. Look at your nose.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. No matter, old boy. I am not going to be married to-day.
+
+ZINAIDA. Doctor Lvoff has not been here for a long time. He seems to
+have forgotten us.
+
+SASHA. That man is one of my aversions. I can't stand his icy sense of
+honour. He can't ask for a glass of water or smoke a cigarette without
+making a display of his remarkable honesty. Walking and talking, it is
+written on his brow: "I am an honest man." He is a great bore.
+
+SHABELSKI. He is a narrow-minded, conceited medico. [Angrily] He shrieks
+like a parrot at every step: "Make way for honest endeavour!" and thinks
+himself another St. Francis. Everybody is a rascal who doesn't make as
+much noise as he does. As for his penetration, it is simply remarkable!
+If a peasant is well off and lives decently, he sees at once that he
+must be a thief and a scoundrel. If I wear a velvet coat and am dressed
+by my valet, I am a rascal and the valet is my slave. There is no place
+in this world for a man like him. I am actually afraid of him. Yes,
+indeed, he is likely, out of a sense of duty, to insult a man at any
+moment and to call him a knave.
+
+IVANOFF. I am dreadfully tired of him, but I can't help liking him, too,
+he is so sincere.
+
+SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, his sincerity is beautiful! He came up to me
+yesterday evening and remarked absolutely apropos of nothing: "Count, I
+have a deep aversion to you!" It isn't as if he said such things simply,
+but they are extremely pointed. His voice trembles, his eyes flash, his
+veins swell. Confound his infernal honesty! Supposing I am disgusting
+and odious to him? What is more natural? I know that I am, but I don't
+like to be told so to my face. I am a worthless old man, but he might
+have the decency to respect my grey hairs. Oh, what stupid, heartless
+honesty!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Come, come, you have been young yourself, and should make
+allowances for him.
+
+SHABELSKI. Yes, I have been young and reckless; I have played the fool
+in my day and have seen plenty of knaves and scamps, but I have never
+called a thief a thief to his face, or talked of ropes in the house of a
+man who had been hung. I knew how to behave, but this idiotic doctor
+of yours would think himself in the seventh heaven of happiness if fate
+would allow him to pull my nose in public in the name of morality and
+human ideals.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Young men are all stubborn and restive. I had an uncle once
+who thought himself a philosopher. He would fill his house with guests,
+and after he had had a drink he would get up on a chair, like this, and
+begin: "You ignoramuses! You powers of darkness! This is the dawn of a
+new life!" And so on and so on; he would preach and preach----
+
+SASHA. And the guests?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. They would just sit and listen and go on drinking. Once,
+though, I challenged him to a duel, challenged my own uncle! It came
+out of a discussion about Sir Francis Bacon. I was sitting, I remember,
+where Matthew is, and my uncle and the late Gerasim Nilitch were
+standing over there, about where Nicholas is now. Well, Gerasim Nilitch
+propounded this question----
+
+Enter BORKIN. He is dressed like a dandy and carries a parcel under his
+arm. He comes in singing and skipping through the door on the right. A
+murmur of approval is heard.
+
+THE GIRLS. Oh, Michael Borkin!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Misha!
+
+SHABELSKI. The soul of the company!
+
+BORKIN. Here we are! [He runs up to SASHA] Most noble Signorina, let
+me be so bold as to wish to the whole world many happy returns of the
+birthday of such an exquisite flower as you! As a token of my enthusiasm
+let me presume to present you with these fireworks and this Bengal fire
+of my own manufacture. [He hands her the parcel] May they illuminate the
+night as brightly as you illuminate the shadows of this dark world. [He
+spreads them out theatrically before her.]
+
+SASHA. Thank you.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Why don't you send this Judas
+packing?
+
+BORKIN. [To LEBEDIEFF] My compliments to you, sir. [To IVANOFF] How are
+you, my patron? [Sings] Nicholas voila, hey ho hey! [He greets everybody
+in turn] Most highly honoured Zinaida! Oh, glorious Martha! Most ancient
+Avdotia! Noblest of Counts!
+
+SHABELSKI. [Laughing] The life of the company! The moment he comes in
+the air fe els livelier. Have you noticed it?
+
+BORKIN. Whew! I am tired! I believe I have shaken hands with everybody.
+Well, ladies and gentlemen, haven't you some little tidbit to tell
+me; something spicy? [Speaking quickly to ZINAIDA] Oh, aunty! I have
+something to tell you. As I was on my way here--[To GABRIEL] Some tea,
+please Gabriel, but without jam--as I was on my way here I saw some
+peasants down on the river-bank pulling the bark off the trees. Why
+don't you lease that meadow?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [To IVANOFF] Why don't you send that Judas away?
+
+ZINAIDA. [Startled] Why, that is quite true! I never thought of it.
+
+BORKIN. [Swinging his arms] I can't sit still! What tricks shall we be
+up to next, aunty? I am all on edge, Martha, absolutely exalted. [He
+sings]
+
+   "Once more I stand before thee!"
+
+ZINAIDA. Think of something to amuse us, Misha, we are all bored.
+
+BORKIN. Yes, you look so. What is the matter with you all? Why are you
+sitting there as solemn as a jury? Come, let us play something; what
+shall it be? Forfeits? Hide-and-seek? Tag? Shall we dance, or have the
+fireworks?
+
+THE GIRLS. [Clapping their hands] The fireworks! The fireworks! [They
+run into the garden.]
+
+SASHA. [ To IVANOFF] What makes you so depressed today?
+
+IVANOFF. My head aches, little Sasha, and then I feel bored.
+
+SASHA. Come into the sitting-room with me.
+
+They go out through the door on the right. All the guests go into the
+garden and ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF are left alone.
+
+ZINAIDA. That is what I like to see! A young man like Misha comes into
+the room and in a minute he has everybody laughing. [She puts out the
+large lamp] There is no reason the candles should burn for nothing so
+long as they are all in the garden. [She blows out the candles.]
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Following her] We really ought to give our guests something
+to eat, Zuzu!
+
+ZINAIDA. What crowds of candles; no wonder we are thought rich.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Still following her] Do let them have something to eat,
+Zuzu; they are young and must be hungry by now, poor things--Zuzu!
+
+ZINAIDA. The Count did not finish his tea, and all that sugar has been
+wasted. [Goes out through the door on the left.]
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Bah! [Goes out into the garden.]
+
+Enter IVANOFF and SASHA through the door on the right.
+
+IVANOFF. This is how it is, Sasha: I used to work hard and think hard,
+and never tire; now, I neither do anything nor think anything, and I
+am weary, body and soul. I feel I am terribly to blame, my conscience
+leaves me no peace day or night, and yet I can't see clearly exactly
+what my mistakes are. And now comes my wife's illness, our poverty, this
+eternal backbiting, gossiping, chattering, that foolish Borkin--My home
+has become unendurable to me, and to live there is worse than torture.
+Frankly, Sasha, the presence of my wife, who loves me, has become
+unbearable. You are an old friend, little Sasha, you will not be angry
+with me for speaking so openly. I came to you to be cheered, but I am
+bored here too, something urges me home again. Forgive me, I shall slip
+away at once.
+
+SASHA. I can understand your trouble, Nicholas. You are unhappy because
+you are lonely. You need some one at your side whom you can love,
+someone who understands you.
+
+IVANOFF. What an idea, Sasha! Fancy a crusty old badger like myself
+starting a love affair! Heaven preserve me from such misfortune! No, my
+little sage, this is not a case for romance. The fact is, I can endure
+all I have to suffer: sadness, sickness of mind, ruin, the loss of my
+wife, and my lonely, broken old age, but I cannot, I will not, endure
+the contempt I have for myself! I am nearly killed by shame when I think
+that a strong, healthy man like myself has become--oh, heaven only knows
+what--by no means a Manfred or a Hamlet! There are some unfortunates who
+feel flattered when people call them Hamlets and cynics, but to me it
+is an insult. It wounds my pride and I am tortured by shame and suffer
+agony.
+
+SASHA. [Laughing through her tears] Nicholas, let us run away to America
+together!
+
+IVANOFF. I haven't the energy to take such a step as that, and besides,
+in America you--[They go toward the door into the garden] As a matter of
+fact, Sasha, this is not a good place for you to live. When I look about
+at the men who surround you I am terrified for you; whom is there you
+could marry? Your only chance will be if some passing lieutenant or
+student steals your heart and carries you away.
+
+Enter ZINAIDA through the door on the right with a jar of jam.
+
+IVANOFF. Excuse me, Sasha, I shall join you in a minute.
+
+SASHA goes out into the garden.
+
+IVANOFF. [To ZINAIDA] Zinaida, may I ask you a favour?
+
+ZINAIDA. What is it?
+
+IVANOFF. The fact is, you know, that the interest on my note is due day
+after to-morrow, but I should be more than obliged to you if you will
+let me postpone the payment of it, or would let me add the interest to
+the capital. I simply cannot pay it now; I haven't the money.
+
+ZINAIDA. Oh, Ivanoff, how could I do such a thing? Would it be
+business-like? No, no, don't ask it, don't torment an unfortunate old
+woman.
+
+IVANOFF. I beg your pardon. [He goes out into the garden.]
+
+ZINAIDA. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! What a fright he gave me! I am trembling
+all over. [Goes out through the door on the right.]
+
+Enter KOSICH through the door on the left. He walks across the stage.
+
+KOSICH. I had the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the ace of
+spades, and one, just one little heart, and she--may the foul fiend fly
+away with her,--she couldn't make a little slam!
+
+Goes out through the door on the right. Enter from the garden AVDOTIA
+and FIRST GUEST.
+
+AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her, the miserable
+old miser! How I should like it! Does she think it a joke to leave us
+sitting here since five o'clock without even offering us a crust to eat?
+What a house! What management!
+
+FIRST GUEST. I am so bored that I feel like beating my head against the
+wall. Lord, what a queer lot of people! I shall soon be howling like a
+wolf and snapping at them from hunger and weariness.
+
+AVDOTIA. How I should like to get my claws into her, the old sinner!
+
+FIRST GUEST. I shall get a drink, old lady, and then home I go! I won't
+have anything to do with these belles of yours. How the devil can a man
+think of love who hasn't had a drop to drink since dinner?
+
+AVDOTIA. Come on, we will go and find something.
+
+FIRST GUEST. Sh! Softly! I think the brandy is in the sideboard in the
+dining-room. We will find George! Sh!
+
+They go out through the door on the left. Enter ANNA and LVOFF through
+the door on the right.
+
+ANNA. No, they will be glad to see us. Is no one here? Then they must be
+in the garden.
+
+LVOFF. I should like to know why you have brought me into this den of
+wolves. This is no place for you and me; honourable people should not be
+subjected to such influences as these.
+
+ANNA. Listen to me, Mr. Honourable Man. When you are escorting a lady it
+is very bad manners to talk to her the whole way about nothing but your
+own honesty. Such behaviour may be perfectly honest, but it is also
+tedious, to say the least. Never tell a woman how good you are; let her
+find it out herself. My Nicholas used only to sing and tell stories when
+he was young as you are, and yet every woman knew at once what kind of a
+man he was.
+
+LVOFF. Don't talk to me of your Nicholas; I know all about him!
+
+ANNA. You are a very worthy man, but you don't know anything at
+all. Come into the garden. He never said: "I am an honest man; these
+surroundings are too narrow for me." He never spoke of wolves' dens,
+called people bears or vultures. He left the animal kingdom alone, and
+the most I have ever heard him say when he was excited was: "Oh, how
+unjust I have been to-day!" or "Annie, I am sorry for that man." That's
+what he would say, but you--
+
+ANNA and LVOFF go out. Enter AVDOTIA and FIRST GUEST through the door on
+the left.
+
+FIRST GUEST. There isn't any in the dining-room, so it must be
+somewhere in the pantry. We must find George. Come this way, through the
+sitting-room.
+
+AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her!
+
+They go out through the door on the right. MARTHA and BORKIN run in
+laughing from the garden. SHABELSK I comes mincing behind them, laughing
+and rubbing his hands.
+
+MARTHA. Oh, I am so bored! [Laughs loudly] This is deadly! Every one
+looks as if he had swallowed a poker. I am frozen to the marrow by this
+icy dullness. [She skips about] Let us do something!
+
+BORKIN catches her by the waist and kisses her cheek.
+
+SHABELSKI. [Laughing and snapping his fingers] Well, I'll be hanged!
+[Cackling] Really, you know!
+
+MARTHA. Let go! Let go, you wretch! What will the Count think? Stop, I
+say!
+
+BORKIN. Angel! Jewel! Lend me twenty-three hundred roubles.
+
+MARTHA. Most certainly not! Do what you please, but I'll thank you to
+leave my money alone. No, no, no! Oh, let go, will you?
+
+SHABELSKI. [Mincing around them] The little birdie has its charms!
+[Seriously] Come, that will do!
+
+BORKIN. Let us come to the point, and consider my proposition frankly
+as a business arrangement. Answer me honestly, without tricks and
+equivocations, do you agree to do it or not? Listen to me; [Pointing
+to Shabelski] he needs money to the amount of at least three thousand a
+year; you need a husband. Do you want to be a Countess?
+
+SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly] Oh, the cynic!
+
+BORKIN. Do you want to be a Countess or not?
+
+MARTHA. [Excitedly] Wait a minute; really, Misha, these things aren't
+done in a second like this. If the Count wants to marry me, let him ask
+me himself, and--and--I don't see, I don't understand--all this is so
+sudden----
+
+BORKIN. Come, don't let us beat about the bush; this is a business
+arrangement. Do you agree or not?
+
+SHABELSKI. [Chuckling and rubbing his hands] Supposing I do marry her,
+eh? Hang it, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? What do you
+say, little puss? [He kisses her cheek] Dearest chick-a-biddy!
+
+MARTHA. Stop! Stop! I hardly know what I am doing. Go away! No--don't
+go!
+
+BORKIN. Answer at once: is it yes or no? We can't stand here forever.
+
+MARTHA. Look here, Count, come and visit me for three or four days. It
+is gay at my house, not like this place. Come to-morrow. [To BORKIN] Or
+is this all a joke?
+
+BORKIN. [Angrily] How could I joke on such a serious subject?
+
+MARTHA. Wait! Stop! Oh, I feel faint! A Countess! I am fainting, I am
+falling!
+
+BORKIN and SHABELSKI laugh and catch her by the arms. They kiss her
+cheeks and lead her out through the door on the right. IVANOFF and SASHA
+run in from the garden.
+
+IVANOFF. [Desperately clutching his head] It can't be true! Don't Sasha,
+don't! Oh, I implore you not to!
+
+SASHA. I love you madly. Without you my life can have no meaning, no
+happiness, no hope.
+
+IVANOFF. Why, why do you say that? What do you mean? Little Sasha, don't
+say it!
+
+SASHA. You were the only joy of my childhood; I loved you body and soul
+then, as myself, but now--Oh, I love you, Nicholas! Take me with you to
+the ends of the earth, wherever you wish; but for heaven's sake let us
+go at once, or I shall die.
+
+IVANOFF. [Shaking with wild laughter] What is this? Is it the beginning
+for me of a new life? Is it, Sasha? Oh, my happiness, my joy! [He draws
+her to him] My freshness, my youth!
+
+Enter ANNA from the garden. She sees her husband and SASHA, and stops as
+if petrified.
+
+IVANOFF. Oh, then I shall live once more? And work?
+
+IVANOFF and SASHA kiss each other. After the kiss they look around and
+see ANNA.
+
+IVANOFF. [With horror] Sarah!
+
+The curtain falls.
+
+
+
+
+ACT III
+
+Library in IVANOFF'S house. On the walls hang maps, pictures, guns,
+pistols, sickles, whips, etc. A writing-table. On it lie in disorder
+knick-knacks, papers, books, parcels, and several revolvers. Near
+the papers stand a lamp, a decanter of vodka, and a plate of salted
+herrings. Pieces of bread and cucumber are scattered about. SHABELSKI
+and LEBEDIEFF are sitting at the writing-table. BORKIN is sitting
+astride a chair in the middle of the room. PETER is standing near the
+door.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. The policy of France is clear and definite; the French know
+what they want: it is to skin those German sausages, but the Germans
+must sing another song; France is not the only thorn in their flesh.
+
+SHABELSKI. Nonsense! In my opinion the Germans are cowards and the
+French are the same. They are showing their teeth at one another, but
+you can take my word for it, they will not do more than that; they'll
+never fight!
+
+BORKIN. Why should they fight? Why all these congresses, this arming and
+expense? Do you know what I would do in their place? I would catch all
+the dogs in the kingdom and inoculate them with Pasteur's serum, then I
+would let them loose in the enemy's country, and the enemies would all
+go mad in a month.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] His head is small, but the great ideas are hidden
+away in it like fish in the sea!
+
+SHABELSKI. Oh, he is a genius.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Heaven help you, Misha, you are a funny chap. [He stops
+laughing] But how is this, gentlemen? Here we are talking Germany,
+Germany, and never a word about vodka! Repetatur! [He fills three
+glasses] Here's to you all! [He drinks and eats] This herring is the
+best of all relishes.
+
+SHABELSKI. No, no, these cucumbers are better; every wise man since the
+creation of the world has been trying to invent something better than
+a salted cucumber, and not one has succeeded. [To PETER] Peter, go and
+fetch some more cucumbers. And Peter, tell the cook to make four little
+onion pasties, and see that we get them hot.
+
+PETER goes out.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Caviar is good with vodka, but it must be prepared with
+skill. Take a quarter of a pound of pressed caviar, two little onions,
+and a little olive oil; mix them together and put a slice of lemon on
+top--so! Lord! The very perfume would drive you crazy!
+
+BORKIN. Roast snipe are good too, but they must be cooked right. They
+should first be cleaned, then sprinkled with bread crumbs, and roasted
+until they will crackle between the teeth--crunch, crunch!
+
+SHABELSKI. We had something good at Martha's yesterday: white mushrooms.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. You don't say so!
+
+SHABELSKI. And they were especially well prepared, too, with onions and
+bay-leaves and spices, you know. When the dish was opened, the odour
+that floated out was simply intoxicating!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. What do you say, gentlemen? Repetatur! [He drinks] Good
+health to you! [He looks at his watch] I must be going. I can't wait for
+Nicholas. So you say Martha gave you mushrooms? We haven't seen one at
+home. Will you please tell me, Count, what plot you are hatching that
+takes you to Martha's so often?
+
+SHABELSKI. [Nodding at BORKIN] He wants me to marry her.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Wants you to marry her! How old are you?
+
+SHABELSKI. Sixty-two.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Really, you are just the age to marry, aren't you? And Martha
+is just suited to you!
+
+BORKIN. This is not a question of Martha, but of Martha's money.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Aren't you moonstruck, and don't you want the moon too?
+
+SHABELSKI. Borkin here is quite in earnest about it; the clever fellow
+is sure I shall obey orders, and marry Martha.
+
+BORKIN. What do you mean? Aren't you sure yourself?
+
+SHABELSKI. Are you mad? I never was sure of anything. Bah!
+
+BORKIN. Many thanks! I am much obliged to you for the information. So
+you are trying to fool me, are you? First you say you will marry Martha
+and then you say you won't; the devil only knows which you really
+mean, but I have given her my word of honour that you will. So you have
+changed your mind, have you?
+
+SHABELSKI. He is actually in earnest; what an extraordinary man!
+
+BORKIN. [losing his temper] If that is how you feel about it, why have
+you turned an honest woman's head? Her heart is set on your title, and
+she can neither eat nor sleep for thinking of it. How can you make a
+jest of such things? Do you think such behaviour is honourable?
+
+SHABELSKI. [Snapping his fingers] Well, why not play her this shabby
+trick, after all? Eh? Just out of spite? I shall certainly do it, upon
+my word I shall! What a joke it will be!
+
+Enter LVOFF.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. We bow before you, Aesculapius! [He shakes hands with LVOFF
+and sings]
+
+   "Doctor, doctor, save, oh, save me,
+    I am scared to death of dying!"
+
+LVOFF. Hasn't Ivanoff come home yet?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Not yet. I have been waiting for him myself for over an hour.
+
+LVOFF walks impatiently up and down.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. How is Anna to-day?
+
+LVOFF. Very ill.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Sighing] May one go and pay one's respects to her?
+
+LVOFF. No, please don't. She is asleep, I believe.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. She is a lovely, charming woman. [Sighing] The day she
+fainted at our house, on Sasha's birthday, I saw that she had not much
+longer to live, poor thing. Let me see, why did she faint? When I ran
+up, she was lying on the floor, ashy white, with Nicholas on his knees
+beside her, and Sasha was standing by them in tears. Sasha and I went
+about almost crazy for a week after that.
+
+SHABELSKI. [To LVOFF] Tell me, most honoured disciple of science, what
+scholar discovered that the frequent visits of a young doctor were
+beneficial to ladies suffering from affections of the chest? It is
+a remarkable discovery, remarkable! Would you call such treatment
+Allopathic or Homeopathic?
+
+LVOFF tries to answer, but makes an impatient gesture instead, and walks
+out of the room.
+
+SHABELSKI. What a withering look he gave me!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Some fiend must prompt you to say such things! Why did you
+offend him?
+
+SHABELSKI. [Angrily] Why does he tell such lies? Consumption! No hope!
+She is dying! It is nonsense, I can't abide him!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. What makes you think he is lying?
+
+SHABELSKI. [Gets up and walks up and down] I can't bear to think that a
+living person could die like that, suddenly, without any reason at all.
+Don't let us talk about it!
+
+KOSICH runs in panting.
+
+KOSICH. Is Ivanoff at home? How do you do? [He shakes hands quickly all
+round] Is he at home?
+
+BORKIN. No, he isn't.
+
+KOSICH. [Sits down and jumps up again] In that case I must say goodbye;
+I must be going. Business, you know. I am absolutely exhausted; run off
+my feet!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Where did you blow in from?
+
+KOSICH. From Barabanoff's. He and I have been playing cards all
+night; we have only just stopped. I have been absolutely fleeced; that
+Barabanoff is a demon at cards. [In a tearful voice] Just listen to
+this: I had a heart and he [He turns to BORKIN, who jumps away from him]
+led a diamond, and I led a heart, and he led another diamond. Well, he
+didn't take the trick. [To LEBEDIEFF] We were playing three in clubs. I
+had the ace and queen, and the ace and ten of spades--
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Stopping up his ears] Spare me, for heaven's sake, spare me!
+
+KOSICH. [To SHABELSKI] Do you understand? I had the ace and queen of
+clubs, the ace and ten of spades.
+
+SHABELSKI. [Pushes him away] Go away, I don't want to listen to you!
+
+KOSICH. When suddenly misfortune overtook me. My ace of spades took the
+first trick--
+
+SHABELSKI. [Snatching up a revolver] Leave the room, or I shall shoot!
+
+KOSICH. [Waving his hands] What does this mean? Is this the Australian
+bush, where no one has any interests in common? Where there is no public
+spirit, and each man lives for himself alone? However, I must be off. My
+time is precious. [He shakes hands with LEBEDIEFF] Pass!
+
+General laughter. KOSICH goes out. In the doorway he runs into AVDOTIA.
+
+AVDOTIA. [Shrieks] Bad luck to you, you nearly knocked me down.
+
+ALL. Oh, she is always everywhere at once!
+
+AVDOTIA. So this is where you all are? I have been looking for you all
+over the house. Good-day to you, boys!
+
+[She shakes hands with everybody.]
+
+LEBEDIEFF. What brings you here?
+
+AVDOTIA. Business, my son. [To SHABELSKI] Business connected with your
+highness. She commanded me to bow. [She bows] And to inquire after your
+health. She told me to say, the little birdie, that if you did not come
+to see her this evening she would cry her eyes out. Take him aside,
+she said, and whisper in his ear. But why should I make a secret of her
+message? We are not stealing chickens, but arranging an affair of lawful
+love by mutual consent of both parties. And now, although I never drink,
+I shall take a drop under these circumstances.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. So shall I. [He pours out the vodka] You must be immortal,
+you old magpie! You were an old woman when I first knew you, thirty
+years ago.
+
+AVDOTIA. I have lost count of the years. I have buried three husbands,
+and would have married a fourth if any one had wanted a woman without a
+dowry. I have had eight children. [She takes up the glass] Well, we have
+begun a good work, may it come to a good end! They will live happily
+ever after, and we shall enjoy their happiness. Love and good luck to
+them both! [She drinks] This is strong vodka!
+
+SHABELSKI. [laughing loudly, to LEBEDIEFF] The funny thing is, they
+actually think I am in earnest. How strange! [He gets up] And yet, Paul,
+why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? Just out of spite? To give
+the devil something to do, eh, Paul?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. You are talking nonsense, Count. You and I must fix our
+thoughts on dying now; we have left Martha's money far behind us; our
+day is over.
+
+SHABELSKI. No, I shall certainly marry her; upon my word, I shall!
+
+Enter IVANOFF and LVOFF.
+
+LVOFF. Will you please spare me five minutes of your time?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Nicholas! [He goes to meet IVANOFF] How are you, old
+friend? I have been waiting an hour for you.
+
+AVDOTIA. [Bows] How do you do, my son?
+
+IVANOFF. [Bitterly] So you have turned my library into a bar-room again,
+have you? And yet I have begged you all a thousand times not to do so!
+[He goes up to the table] There, you see, you have spilt vodka all
+over my papers and scattered crumbs and cucumbers everywhere! It is
+disgusting!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. I beg your pardon, Nicholas. Please forgive me. I have
+something very important to speak to you about.
+
+BORKIN. So have I.
+
+LVOFF. May I have a word with you?
+
+IVANOFF. [Pointing to LEBEDIEFF] He wants to speak to me; wait a minute.
+[To LEBEDIEFF] Well, what is it?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [To the others] Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I want to
+speak to him in private.
+
+SHABELSKI goes out, followed by AVDOTIA, BORKIN, and LVOFF.
+
+IVANOFF. Paul, you may drink yourself as much as you choose, it is your
+weakness, but I must ask you not to make my uncle tipsy. He never used
+to drink at all; it is bad for him.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Startled] My dear boy, I didn't know that! I wasn't thinking
+of him at all.
+
+IVANOFF. If this old baby should die on my hands the blame would be
+mine, not yours. Now, what do you want? [A pause.]
+
+LEBEDIEFF. The fact is, Nicholas--I really don't know how I can put
+it to make it seem less brutal--Nicholas, I am ashamed of myself, I am
+blushing, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. My dear boy, put
+yourself in my place; remember that I am not a free man, I am as putty
+in the hands of my wife, a slave--forgive me!
+
+IVANOFF. What does this mean?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. My wife has sent me to you; do me a favour, be a friend to
+me, pay her the interest on the money you owe her. Believe me, she has
+been tormenting me and going for me tooth and nail. For heaven's sake,
+free yourself from her clutches!
+
+IVANOFF. You know, Paul, that I have no money now.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. I know, I know, but what can I do? She won't wait. If she
+should sue you for the money, how could Sasha and I ever look you in the
+face again?
+
+IVANOFF. I am ready to sink through the floor with shame, Paul, but
+where, where shall I get the money? Tell me, where? There is nothing I
+can do but to wait until I sell my wheat in the autumn.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Shrieks] But she won't wait! [A pause.]
+
+IVANOFF. Your position is very delicate and unpleasant, but mine is
+even worse. [He walks up and down in deep thought] I am at my wit's end,
+there is nothing I can sell now.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. You might go to Mulbach and get some money from him; doesn't
+he owe you sixty thousand roubles?
+
+IVANOFF makes a despairing gesture.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas, I know you will be angry, but you
+must forgive an old drunkard like me. This is between friends; remember
+I am your friend. We were students together, both Liberals; we had the
+same interests and ideals; we studied together at the University of
+Moscow. It is our Alma Mater. [He takes out his purse] I have a private
+fund here; not a soul at home knows of its existence. Let me lend it
+to you. [He takes out the money and lays it on the table] Forget your
+pride; this is between friends! I should take it from you, indeed I
+should! [A pause] There is the money, one hundred thousand roubles. Take
+it; go to her y ourself and say: "Take the money, Zinaida, and may you
+choke on it." Only, for heaven's sake, don't let her see by your manner
+that you got it from me, or she would certainly go for me, with her old
+jam! [He looks intently into IVANOFF'S face] There, there, no matter.
+[He quickly takes up the money and stuffs it back into his pocket] Don't
+take it, I was only joking. Forgive me! Are you hurt?
+
+IVANOFF waves his hand.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Yes, the truth is--[He sighs] This is a time of sorrow and
+pain for you. A man, brother, is like a samovar; he cannot always stand
+coolly on a shelf; hot coals will be dropped into him some day, and
+then--fizz! The comparison is idiotic, but it is the best I can think
+of. [Sighing] Misfortunes wring the soul, and yet I am not worried about
+you, brother. Wheat goes through the mill, and comes out as flour, and
+you will come safely through your troubles; but I am annoyed, Nicholas,
+and angry with the people around you. The whole countryside is buzzing
+with gossip; where does it all start? They say you will be soon arrested
+for your debts, that you are a bloodthirsty murderer, a monster of
+cruelty, a robber.
+
+IVANOFF. All that is nothing to me; my head is aching.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Because you think so much.
+
+IVANOFF. I never think.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Come, Nicholas, snap your fingers at the whole thing, and
+drive over to visit us. Sasha loves and understands you. She is a sweet,
+honest, lovely girl; too good to be the child of her mother and me!
+Sometimes, when I look at her, I cannot believe that such a treasure
+could belong to a fat old drunkard like me. Go to her, talk to her, and
+let her cheer you. She is a good, true-hearted girl.
+
+IVANOFF. Paul, my dear friend, please go, and leave me alone.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. I understand, I understand! [He glances at his watch] Yes, I
+understand. [He kisses IVANOFF] Good-bye, I must go to the blessing
+of the school now. [He goes as far as the door, then stops] She is so
+clever! Sasha and I were talking about gossiping yesterday, and she
+flashed out this epigram: "Father," she said, "fire-flies shine at night
+so that the night-birds may make them their prey, and good people are
+made to be preyed upon by gossips and slanderers." What do you think of
+that? She is a genius, another George Sand!
+
+IVANOFF. [Stopping him as he goes out] Paul, what is the matter with me?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. I have wanted to ask you that myself, but I must confess I
+was ashamed to. I don't know, old chap. Sometimes I think your troubles
+have been too heavy for you, and yet I know you are not the kind to
+give in to them; you would not be overcome by misfortune. It must be
+something else, Nicholas, but what it may be I can't imagine.
+
+IVANOFF. I can't imagine either what the matter is, unless--and yet
+no--[A pause] Well, do you see, this is what I wanted to say. I used to
+have a workman called Simon, you remember him. Once, at threshing-time,
+to show the girls how strong he was, he loaded himself with two sacks
+of rye, and broke his back. He died soon after. I think I have broken my
+back also. First I went to school, then to the university, then came the
+cares of this estate, all my plans--I did not believe what others did;
+did not marry as others did; I worked passionately, risked everything;
+no one else, as you know, threw their money away to right and left as I
+did. So I heaped the burdens on my back, and it broke. We are all heroes
+at twenty, ready to attack anything, to do everything, and at thirty are
+worn-out, useless men. How, oh, how do you account for this weariness?
+However, I may be quite wrong; go away, Paul, I am boring you.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. I know what is the matter with you, old man: you got out of
+bed on the wrong side this morning.
+
+IVANOFF. That is stupid, Paul, and stale. Go away!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. It is stupid, certainly. I see that myself now. I am going at
+once. [LEBEDIEFF goes out.]
+
+IVANOFF. [Alone] I am a worthless, miserable, useless man. Only a man
+equally miserable and suffering, as Paul is, could love or esteem me
+now. Good God! How I loathe myself! How bitterly I hate my voice, my
+hands, my thoughts, these clothes, each step I take! How ridiculous it
+is, how disgusting! Less than a year ago I was healthy and strong, full
+of pride and energy and enthusiasm. I worked with these hands here, and
+my words could move the dullest man to tears. I could weep with sorrow,
+and grow indignant at the sight of wrong. I could feel the glow of
+inspiration, and understand the beauty and romance of the silent nights
+which I used to watch through from evening until dawn, sitting at my
+worktable, and giving up my soul to dreams. I believed in a bright
+future then, and looked into it as trustfully as a child looks into its
+mother's eyes. And now, oh, it is terrible! I am tired and without hope;
+I spend my days and nights in idleness; I have no control over my feet
+or brain. My estate is ruined, my woods are falling under the blows of
+the axe. [He weeps] My neglected land looks up at me as reproachfully
+as an orphan. I expect nothing, am sorry for nothing; my whole soul
+trembles at the thought of each new day. And what can I think of my
+treatment of Sarah? I promised her love and happiness forever; I opened
+her eyes to the promise of a future such as she had never even dreamed
+of. She believed me, and though for five years I have seen her sinking
+under the weight of her sacrifices to me, and losing her strength in
+her struggles with her conscience, God knows she has never given me one
+angry look, or uttered one word of reproach. What is the result? That I
+don't love her! Why? Is it possible? Can it be true? I can't understand.
+She is suffering; her days are numbered; yet I fly like a contemptible
+coward from her white face, her sunken chest, her pleading eyes. Oh, I
+am ashamed, ashamed! [A pause] Sasha, a young girl, is sorry for me in
+my misery. She confesses to me that she loves me; me, almost an old man!
+Whereupon I lose my head, and exalted as if by music, I yell: "Hurrah
+for a new life and new happiness!" Next day I believe in this new life
+and happiness as little as I believe in my happiness at home. What is
+the matter with me? What is this pit I am wallowing in? What is the
+cause of this weakness? What does this nervousness come from? If my sick
+wife wounds my pride, if a servant makes a mistake, if my gun misses
+fire, I lose my temper and get violent and altogether unlike myself.
+I can't, I can't understand it; the easiest way out would be a bullet
+through the head!
+
+Enter LVOFF.
+
+LVOFF. I must have an explanation with you, Ivanoff.
+
+IVANOFF. If we are going to have an explanation every day, doctor, we
+shall neither of us have the strength to stand it.
+
+LVOFF. Will you be good enough to hear me?
+
+IVANOFF. I have heard all you have told me every day, and have failed to
+discover yet what you want me to do.
+
+LVOFF. I have always spoken plainly enough, and only an utterly
+heartless and cruel man could fail to understand me.
+
+IVANOFF. I know that my wife is dying; I know that I have sinned
+irreparably; I know that you are an honest man. What more can you tell
+me?
+
+LVOFF. The sight of human cruelty maddens me. The woman is dying and
+she has a mother and father whom she loves, and longs to see once more
+before she dies. They know that she is dying and that she loves them
+still, but with diabolical cruelty, as if to flaunt their religious
+zeal, they refuse to see her and forgive her. You are the man for whom
+she has sacrificed her home, her peace of mind, everything. Yet you
+unblushingly go gadding to the Lebedieffs' every evening, for reasons
+that are absolutely unmistakable!
+
+IVANOFF. Ah me, it is two weeks since I was there!
+
+LVOFF. [Not listening to him] To men like yourself one must speak
+plainly, and if you don't want to hear what I have to say, you need not
+listen. I always call a spade a spade; the truth is, you want her to
+die so that the way may be cleared for your other schemes. Be it so;
+but can't you wait? If, instead of crushing the life out of your wife by
+your heartless egoism, you let her die naturally, do you think you would
+lose Sasha and Sasha's money? Such an absolute Tartuffe as you are could
+turn the girl's head and get her money a year from now as easily as you
+can to-day. Why are you in such a hurry? Why do you want your wife to
+die now, instead of in a month's time, or a year's?
+
+IVANOFF. This is torture! You are a very bad doctor if you think a
+man can control himself forever. It is all I can do not to answer your
+insults.
+
+LVOFF. Look here, whom are you trying to deceive? Throw off this
+disguise!
+
+IVANOFF. You who are so clever, you think that nothing in the world is
+easier than to understand me, do you? I married Annie for her money, did
+I? And when her parents wouldn't give it to me, I changed my plans, and
+am now hustling her out of the world so that I may marry another woman,
+who will bring me what I want? You think so, do you? Oh, how easy and
+simple it all is! But you are mistaken, doctor; in each one of us there
+are too many springs, too many wheels and cogs for us to judge each
+other by first impressions or by two or three external indications. I
+can not understand you, you cannot understand me, and neither of us can
+understand himself. A man may be a splendid doctor, and at the same time
+a very bad judge of human nature; you will admit that, unless you are
+too self-confident.
+
+LVOFF. Do you really think that your character is so mysterious, and
+that I am too stupid to tell vice from virtue?
+
+IVANOFF. It is clear that we shall never agree, so let me beg you to
+answer me now without any more preamble: exactly what do you want me to
+do? [Angrily] What are you after anyway? And with whom have I the honour
+of speaking? With my lawyer, or with my wife's doctor?
+
+LVOFF. I am a doctor, and as such I demand that you change your conduct
+toward your wife; it is killing her.
+
+IVANOFF. What shall I do? Tell me! If you understand me so much better
+than I understand myself, for heaven's sake tell me exactly what to do!
+
+LVOFF. In the first place, don't be so unguarded in your behaviour.
+
+IVANOFF. Heaven help me, do you mean to say that you understand
+yourself? [He drinks some water] Now go away; I am guilty a thousand
+times over; I shall answer for my sins before God; but nothing has given
+you the right to torture me daily as you do.
+
+LVOFF. Who has given you the right to insult my sense of honour? You
+have maddened and poisoned my soul. Before I came to this place I knew
+that stupid, crazy, deluded people existed, but I never imagined that
+any one could be so criminal as to turn his mind deliberately in the
+direction of wickedness. I loved and esteemed humanity then, but since I
+have known you--
+
+IVANOFF. I have heard all that before.
+
+LVOFF. You have, have you?
+
+He goes out, shrugging his shoulders. He sees SASHA, who comes in at
+this moment dressed for riding.
+
+LVOFF. Now, however, I hope that we can understand one another!
+
+IVANOFF. [Startled] Oh, Sasha, is that you?
+
+SASHA. Yes, it is I. How are you? You didn't expect me, did you? Why
+haven't you been to see us?
+
+IVANOFF. Sasha, this is really imprudent of you! Your coming will have a
+terrible effect on my wife!
+
+SASHA. She won't see me; I came in by the back entrance; I shall go in
+a minute. I am so anxious about you. Tell me, are you well? Why haven't
+you been to see us for such a long time?
+
+IVANOFF. My wife is offended already, and almost dying, and now you come
+here; Sasha, Sasha, this is thoughtless and unkind of you.
+
+SASHA. How could I help coming? It is two weeks since you were at our
+house, and you have not answered my letters. I imagined you suffering
+dreadfully, or ill, or dead. I have not slept for nights. I am going
+now, but first tell me that you are well.
+
+IVANOFF. No, I am not well. I am a torment to myself, and every one
+torments me without end. I can't stand it! And now you come here. How
+morbid and unnatural it all is, Sasha. I am terribly guilty.
+
+SASHA. What dreadful, pitiful speeches you make! So you are guilty, are
+you? Tell me, then, what is it you have done?
+
+IVANOFF I don't know; I don't know!
+
+SASHA. That is no answer. Every sinner should know what he is guilty of.
+Perhaps you have been forging money?
+
+IVANOFF. That is stupid.
+
+SASHA. Or are you guilty because you no longer love your wife? Perhaps
+you are, but no one is master of his feelings, and you did not mean to
+stop loving her. Do you feel guilty because she saw me telling you that
+I love you? No, that cannot be, because you did not want her to see it--
+
+IVANOFF. [Interrupting her] And so on, and so on! First you say I love,
+and then you say I don't; that I am not master of my feelings. All these
+are commonplace, worn-out sentiments, with which you cannot help me.
+
+SASHA. It is impossible to talk to you. [She looks at a picture on the
+wall] How well those dogs are drawn! Were they done from life?
+
+IVANOFF. Yes, from life. And this whole romance of ours is a tedious
+old story; a man loses heart and begins to go down in the world; a girl
+appears, brave and strong of heart, and gives him a hand to help him
+to rise again. Such situations are pretty, but they are only found in
+novels and not in real life.
+
+SASHA. No, they are found in real life too.
+
+IVANOFF. Now I see how well you understand real life! My sufferings seem
+noble to you; you imagine you have discovered in me a second Hamlet;
+but my state of mind in all its phases is only fit to furnish food for
+contempt and derision. My contortions are ridiculous enough to make any
+one die of laughter, and you want to play the guardian angel; you want
+to do a noble deed and save me. Oh, how I hate myself to-day! I feel
+that this tension must soon be relieved in some way. Either I shall
+break something, or else--
+
+SASHA. That is exactly what you need. Let yourself go! Smash something;
+break it to pieces; give a yell! You are angry with me, it was foolish
+of me to come here. Very well, then, get excited about it; storm at me;
+stamp your feet! Well, aren't you getting angry?
+
+IVANOFF. You ridiculous girl!
+
+SASHA. Splendid! So we are smiling at last! Be kind, do me the favour of
+smiling once more!
+
+IVANOFF. [Laughing] I have noticed that whenever you start reforming
+me and saving my soul, and teaching me how to be good, your face grows
+naive, oh so naive, and your eyes grow as wide as if you were looking at
+a comet. Wait a moment; your shoulder is covered with dust. [He brushes
+her shoulder] A naive man is nothing better than a fool, but you women
+contrive to be naive in such a way that in you it seems sweet, and
+gentle, and proper, and not as silly as it really is. What a strange way
+you have, though, of ignoring a man as long as he is well and happy,
+and fastening yourselves to him as soon as he begins to whine and go
+down-hill! Do you actually think it is worse to be the wife of a strong
+man than to nurse some whimpering invalid?
+
+SASHA. Yes, it is worse.
+
+IVANOFF. Why do you think so? [Laughing loudly] It is a good thing
+Darwin can't hear what you are saying! He would be furious with you for
+degrading the human race. Soon, thanks to your kindness, only invalids
+and hypochondriacs will be born into the world.
+
+SASHA. There are a great many things a man cannot understand. Any girl
+would rather love an unfortunate man than a fortunate one, because every
+girl would like to do something by loving. A man has his work to do, and
+so for him love is kept in the background. To talk to his wife, to walk
+with her in the garden, to pass the time pleasantly with her, that is
+all that love means to a man. But for us, love means life. I love you;
+that means that I dream only of how I shall cure you of your sadness,
+how I shall go with you to the ends of the earth. If you are in heaven,
+I am in heaven; if you are in the pit, I am in the pit. For instance, it
+would be the greatest happiness for me to write all night for you, or to
+watch all night that no one should wake you. I remember that three years
+ago, at threshing time, you came to us all dusty and sunburnt and tired,
+and asked for a drink. When I brought you a glass of water you were
+already lying on the sofa and sleeping like a dead man. You slept there
+for half a day, and all that time I watched by the door that no one
+should disturb you. How happy I was! The more a girl can do, the greater
+her love will be; that is, I mean, the more she feels it.
+
+IVANOFF. The love that accomplishes things--hm--that is a fairy tale,
+a girl's dream; and yet, perhaps it is as it should be. [He shrugs his
+shoulders] How can I tell? [Gaily] On my honour, Sasha, I really am
+quite a respectable man. Judge for yourself: I have always liked to
+discuss things, but I have never in my life said that our women were
+corrupt, or that such and such a woman was on the down-hill path. I have
+always been grateful, and nothing more. No, nothing more. Dear child,
+how comical you are! And what a ridiculous old stupid I am! I shock all
+good Christian folk, and go about complaining from morning to night.
+[He laughs and then leaves her suddenly] But you must go, Sasha; we have
+forgotten ourselves.
+
+SASHA. Yes, it is time to go. Good-bye. I am afraid that that honest
+doctor of yours will have told Anna out of a sense of duty that I am
+here. Take my advice: go at once to your wife and stay with her. Stay,
+and stay, and stay, and if it should be for a year, you must still
+stay, or for ten years. It is your duty. You must repent, and ask her
+forgiveness, and weep. That is what you ought to do, and the great thing
+is not to forget to do right.
+
+IVANOFF. Again I feel as if I were going crazy; again!
+
+SASHA. Well, heaven help you! You must forget me entirely. In two weeks
+you must send me a line and I shall be content with that. But I shall
+write to you--
+
+BORKIN looks in at the door.
+
+BORKIN. Ivanoff, may I come in? [He sees SASHA] I beg your pardon, I did
+not see you. Bonjour! [He bows.]
+
+SASHA. [Embarrassed] How do you do?
+
+BORKIN. You are plumper and prettier than ever.
+
+SASHA. [To IVANOFF] I must go, Nicholas, I must go. [She goes out.]
+
+BORKIN. What a beautiful apparition! I came expecting prose and found
+poetry instead. [Sings]
+
+"You showed yourself to the world as a bird----"
+
+IVANOFF walks excitedly up and down.
+
+BORKIN. [Sits down] There is something in her, Nicholas, that one
+doesn't find in other women, isn't there? An elfin strangeness. [He
+sighs] Although she is without doubt the richest girl in the country,
+her mother is so stingy that no one will have her. After her mother's
+death Sasha will have the whole fortune, but until then she will only
+give her ten thousand roubles and an old flat-iron, and to get that she
+will have to humble herself to the ground. [He feels in his pockets]
+Will you have a smoke? [He offers IVANOFF his cigarette case] These are
+very good.
+
+IVANOFF. [Comes toward BORKIN stifled with rage] Leave my house this
+instant, and don't you ever dare to set foot in it again! Go this
+instant!
+
+BORKIN gets up and drops his cigarette.
+
+IVANOFF. Go at once!
+
+BORKIN. Nicholas, what do you mean? Why are you so angry?
+
+IVANOFF. Why! Where did you get those cigarettes? Where? You think
+perhaps that I don't know where you take the old man every day, and for
+what purpose?
+
+BORKIN. [Shrugs his shoulders] What business is it of yours?
+
+IVANOFF. You blackguard, you! The disgraceful rumours that you have been
+spreading about me have made me disreputable in the eyes of the whole
+countryside. You and I have nothing in common, and I ask you to leave my
+house this instant.
+
+BORKIN. I know that you are saying all this in a moment of irritation,
+and so I am not angry with you. Insult me as much as you please. [He
+picks up his cigarette] It is time though, to shake off this melancholy
+of yours; you're not a schoolboy.
+
+IVANOFF. What did I tell you? [Shuddering] Are you making fun of me?
+
+Enter ANNA.
+
+BORKIN. There now, there comes Anna! I shall go.
+
+IVANOFF stops near the table and stands with his head bowed.
+
+ANNA. [After a pause] What did she come here for? What did she come here
+for, I ask you?
+
+IVANOFF. Don't ask me, Annie. [A pause] I am terribly guilty. Think
+of any punishment you want to inflict on me; I can stand anything, but
+don't, oh, don't ask questions!
+
+ANNA. [Angrily] So that is the sort of man you are? Now I understand
+you, and can see how degraded, how dishonourable you are! Do you
+remember that you came to me once and lied to me about your love? I
+believed you, and left my mother, my father, and my faith to follow you.
+Yes, you lied to me of goodness and honour, of your noble aspirations
+and I believed every word----
+
+IVANOFF. I have never lied to you, Annie.
+
+ANNA. I have lived with you five years now, and I am tired and ill, but
+I have always loved you and have never left you for a moment. You
+have been my idol, and what have you done? All this time you have been
+deceiving me in the most dastardly way----
+
+IVANOFF. Annie, don't say what isn't so. I have made mistakes, but I
+have never told a lie in my life. You dare not accuse me of that!
+
+ANNA. It is all clear to me now. You married me because you expected my
+mother and father to forgive me and give you my money; that is what you
+expected.
+
+IVANOFF. Good Lord, Annie! If I must suffer like this, I must have the
+patience to bear it. [He begins to weep.]
+
+ANNA. Be quiet! When you found that I wasn't bringing you any money,
+you tried another game. Now I remember and understand everything. [She
+begins to cry] You have never loved me or been faithful to me--never!
+
+IVANOFF. Sarah! That is a lie! Say what you want, but don't insult me
+with a lie!
+
+ANNA. You dishonest, degraded man! You owe money to Lebedieff, and now,
+to escape paying your debts, you are trying to turn the head of his
+daughter and betray her as you have betrayed me. Can you deny it?
+
+IVANOFF. [Stifled with rage] For heaven's sake, be quiet! I can't answer
+for what I may do! I am choking with rage and I--I might insult you!
+
+ANNA. I am not the only one whom you have basely deceived. You have
+always blamed Borkin for all your dishonest tricks, but now I know whose
+they are.
+
+IVANOFF. Sarah, stop at once and go away, or else I shall say something
+terrible. I long to say a dreadful, cruel thing [He shrieks] Hold your
+tongue, Jewess!
+
+ANNA. I won't hold my tongue! You have deceived me too long for me to be
+silent now.
+
+IVANOFF. So you won't be quiet? [He struggles with himself] Go, for
+heaven's sake!
+
+ANNA. Go now, and betray Sasha!
+
+IVANOFF. Know then that you--are dying! The doctor told me that you are
+dying.
+
+ANNA. [Sits down and speaks in a low voice] When did he
+
+IVANOFF. [Clutches his head with both hands] Oh, how guilty I am--how
+guilty! [He sobs.]
+
+The curtain falls.
+
+About a year passes between the third and fourth acts.
+
+
+
+
+ACT IV
+
+A sitting-room in LEBEDIEFF'S house. In the middle of the wall at the
+back of the room is an arch dividing the sitting-room from the ballroom.
+To the right and left are doors. Some old bronzes are placed about the
+room; family portraits are hanging on the walls. Everything is arranged
+as if for some festivity. On the piano lies a violin; near it stands a
+violoncello. During the entire act guests, dressed as for a ball, are
+seen walking about in the ball-room.
+
+Enter LVOFF, looking at his watch.
+
+LVOFF. It is five o'clock. The ceremony must have begun. First the
+priest will bless them, and then they will be led to the church to be
+married. Is this how virtue and justice triumph? Not being able to rob
+Sarah, he has tortured her to death; and now he has found another victim
+whom he will deceive until he has robbed her, and then he will get rid
+of her as he got rid of poor Sarah. It is the same old sordid story.
+[A pause] He will live to a fine old age in the seventh heaven of
+happiness, and will die with a clear conscience. No, Ivanoff, it shall
+not be! I shall drag your villainy to light! And when I tear off that
+accursed mask of yours and show you to the world as the blackguard you
+are, you shall come plunging down headfirst from your seventh heaven,
+into a pit so deep that the devil himself will not be able to drag you
+out of it! I am a man of honour; it is my duty to interfere in such
+cases as yours, and to open the eyes of the blind. I shall fulfil my
+mission, and to-morrow will find me far away from this accursed
+place. [Thoughtfully] But what shall I do? To have an explanation
+with Lebedieff would be a hopeless task. Shall I make a scandal, and
+challenge Ivanoff to a duel? I am as excited as a child, and have
+entirely lost the power of planning anything. What shall I do? Shall I
+fight a duel?
+
+Enter KOSICH. He goes gaily up to LVOFF.
+
+KOSICH. I declared a little slam in clubs yesterday, and made a grand
+slam! Only that man Barabanoff spoilt the whole game for me again.
+We were playing--well, I said "No trumps" and he said "Pass." "Two in
+clubs," he passed again. I made it two in hearts. He said "Three in
+clubs," and just imagine, can you, what happened? I declared a little
+slam and he never showed his ace! If he had showed his ace, the villain,
+I should have declared a grand slam in no trumps!
+
+LVOFF. Excuse me, I don't play cards, and so it is impossible for me to
+share your enthusiasm. When does the ceremony begin?
+
+KOSICH. At once, I think. They are now bringing Zuzu to herself again.
+She is bellowing like a bull; she can't bear to see the money go.
+
+LVOFF. And what about the daughter?
+
+KOSICH. No, it is the money. She doesn't like this affair anyway. He is
+marrying her daughter, and that means he won't pay his debts for a long
+time. One can't sue one's son-in-law.
+
+MARTHA, very much dressed up, struts across the stage past LVOFF and
+KOSICH. The latter bursts out laughing behind his hand. MARTHA looks
+around.
+
+MARTHA. Idiot!
+
+KOSICH digs her in the ribs and laughs loudly.
+
+MARTHA. Boor!
+
+KOSICH. [Laughing] The woman's head has been turned. Before she fixed
+her eye on a title she was like any other woman, but there is no coming
+near her now! [Angrily] A boor, indeed!
+
+LVOFF. [Excitedly] Listen to me; tell me honestly, what do you think of
+Ivanoff?
+
+KOSICH. He's no good at all. He plays cards like a lunatic. This is what
+happened last year during Lent: I, the Count, Borkin and he, sat down to
+a game of cards. I led a----
+
+LVOFF [Interrupting him] Is he a good man?
+
+KOSICH. He? Yes, he's a good one! He and the Count are a pair of trumps.
+They have keen noses for a good game. First, Ivanoff set his heart on
+the Jewess, then, when his schemes failed in that quarter, he turned his
+thoughts toward Zuzu's money-bags. I'll wager you he'll ruin Zuzu in
+a year. He will ruin Zuzu, and the Count will ruin Martha. They will
+gather up all the money they can lay hands on, and live happily ever
+after! But, doctor, why are you so pale to-day? You look like a ghost.
+
+LVOFF. Oh, it's nothing. I drank a little too much yesterday.
+
+Enter LEBEDIEFF with SASHA.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. We can have our talk here. [To LVOFF and KOSICH] Go into the
+ball-room, you two old fogies, and talk to the girls. Sasha and I want
+to talk alone here.
+
+KOSICH. [Snapping his fingers enthusiastically as he goes by SASHA] What
+a picture! A queen of trumps!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Go along, you old cave-dweller; go along.
+
+KOSICH and LVOFF go out.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Sit down, Sasha, there--[He sits down and looks about him]
+Listen to me attentively and with proper respect. The fact is, your
+mother has asked me to say this, do you understand? I am not speaking
+for myself. Your mother told me to speak to you.
+
+SASHA. Papa, do say it briefly!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. When you are married we mean to give you fifteen thousand
+roubles. Please don't let us have any discussion about it afterward.
+Wait, now! Be quiet! That is only the beginning. The best is yet
+to come. We have allotted you fifteen thousand roubles, but in
+consideration of the fact that Nicholas owes your mother nine thousand,
+that sum will have to be deducted from the amount we mean to give you.
+Very well. Now, beside that----
+
+SASHA. Why do you tell me all this?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Your mother told me to.
+
+SASHA. Leave me in peace! If you had any respect for yourself or me you
+could not permit yourself to speak to me in this way. I don't want your
+money! I have not asked for it, and never shall.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. What are you attacking me for? The two rats in Gogol's fable
+sniffed first and then ran away, but you attack without even sniffing.
+
+SASHA. Leave me in peace, and do not offend my ears with your two-penny
+calculations.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Losing his temper] Bah! You all, every one of you, do all
+you can to make me cut my throat or kill somebody. One of you screeches
+and fusses all day and counts every penny, and the other is so clever
+and humane and emancipated that she cannot understand her own father!
+I offend your ears, do I? Don't you realise that before I came here to
+offend your ears I was being torn to pieces over there, [He points to
+the door] literally drawn and quartered? So you cannot understand? You
+two have addled my brain till I am utterly at my wits' end; indeed I am!
+[He goes toward the door, and stops] I don't like this business at all;
+I don't like any thing about you--
+
+SASHA. What is it, especially, that you don't like?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Everything, everything!
+
+SASHA. What do you mean by everything?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Let me explain exactly what I mean. Everything displeases me.
+As for your marriage, I simply can't abide it. [He goes up to SASHA and
+speaks caressingly] Forgive me, little Sasha, this marriage may be a
+wise one; it may be honest and not misguided, nevertheless, there is
+something about the whole affair that is not right; no, not right! You
+are not marrying as other girls do; you are young and fresh and pure
+as a drop of water, and he is a widower, battered and worn. Heaven help
+him. I don't understand him at all. [He kisses his daughter] Forgive
+me for saying so, Sasha, but I am sure there is something crooked about
+this affair; it is making a great deal of talk. It seems people are
+saying that first Sarah died, and then suddenly Ivanoff wanted to marry
+you. [Quickly] But, no, I am like an old woman; I am gossiping like a
+magpie. You must not listen to me or any one, only to your own heart.
+
+SASHA. Papa, I feel myself that there is something wrong about my
+marriage. Something wrong, yes, wrong! Oh, if you only knew how heavy
+my heart is; this is unbearable! I am frightened and ashamed to confess
+this; Papa darling, you must help me, for heaven's sake. Oh, can't you
+tell me what I should do?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. What is the matter, Sasha, what is it?
+
+SASHA. I am so frightened, more frightened than I have ever been before.
+[She glances around her] I cannot understand him now, and I never shall.
+He has not smiled or looked straight into my eyes once since we have
+been engaged. He is forever complaining and apologising for something;
+hinting at some crime he is guilty of, and trembling. I am so tired!
+There are even moments when I think--I think--that I do not love him as
+I should, and when he comes to see us, or talks to me, I get so tired!
+What does it mean, dear father? I am afraid.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. My darling, my only child, do as your old father advises you;
+give him up!
+
+SASHA. [Frightened] Oh! How can you say that?
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Yes, do it, little Sasha! It will make a scandal, all the
+tongues in the country will be wagging about it, but it is better to
+live down a scandal than to ruin one's life.
+
+SASHA. Don't say that, father. Oh, don't. I refuse to listen! I must
+crush such gloomy thoughts. He is good and unhappy and misunderstood. I
+shall love him and learn to understand him. I shall set him on his feet
+again. I shall do my duty. That is settled.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. This is not your duty, but a delusion--
+
+SASHA. We have said enough. I have confessed things to you that I have
+not dared to admit even to myself. Don't speak about this to any one.
+Let us forget it.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. I am hopelessly puzzled, and either my mind is going from
+old age or else you have all grown very clever, but I'll be hanged if I
+understand this business at all.
+
+Enter SHABELSKI.
+
+SHABELSKI. Confound you all and myself, too! This is maddening!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. What do you want?
+
+SHABELSKI Seriously, I must really do something horrid and rascally, so
+that not only I but everybody else will be disgusted by it. I certainly
+shall find something to do, upon my word I shall! I have already told
+Borkin to announce that I am to be married. [He laughs] Everybody is a
+scoundrel and I must be one too!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. I am tired of you, Matthew. Look here, man you talk in such a
+way that, excuse my saying so, you will soon find yourself in a lunatic
+asylum!
+
+SHABELSKI. Could a lunatic asylum possibly be worse than this house, or
+any othe r? Kindly take me there at once. Please do! Everybody is
+wicked and futile and worthless and stupid; I am an object of disgust to
+myself, I don't believe a word I say-----
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Let me give you a piece of advice, old man; fill your mouth
+full of tow, light it, and blow at everybody. Or, better still, take
+your hat and go home. This is a wedding, we all want to enjoy ourselves
+and you are croaking like a raven. Yes, really.
+
+SHABELSKI leans on the piano and begins to sob.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Good gracious, Matthew, Count! What is it, dear Matthew, old
+friend? Have I offended you? There, forgive me; I didn't mean to hurt
+you. Come, drink some water.
+
+SHABELSKI. I don't want any water. [Raises his head.]
+
+LEBEDIEFF. What are you crying about?
+
+SHABELSKI. Nothing in particular; I was just crying.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Matthew, tell me the truth, what is it? What has happened?
+
+SHABELSKI. I caught sight of that violoncello, and--and--I remembered
+the Jewess.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. What an unfortunate moment you have chosen to remember her.
+Peace be with her! But don't think of her now.
+
+SHABELSKI. We used to play duets together. She was a beautiful, a
+glorious woman.
+
+SASHA sobs.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. What, are you crying too? Stop, Sasha! Dear me, they are both
+howling now, and I--and I--Do go away; the guests will see you!
+
+SHABELSKI. Paul, when the sun is shining, it is gay even in a cemetery.
+One can be cheerful even in old age if it is lighted by hope; but I have
+nothing to hope for--not a thing!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Yes, it is rather sad for you. You have no children, no
+money, no occupation. Well, but what is there to be done about it? [To
+SASHA] What is the matter with you, Sasha?
+
+SHABELSKI. Paul, give me some money. I will repay you in the next world.
+I would go to Paris and see my wife's grave. I have given away a great
+deal of money in my life, half my fortune indeed, and I have a right to
+ask for some now. Besides, I am asking a friend.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. [Embarrassed] My dear boy, I haven't a penny. All
+right though. That is to say, I can't promise anything, but you
+understand--very well, very well. [Aside] This is agony!
+
+Enter MARTHA.
+
+MARTHA. Where is my partner? Count, how dare you leave me alone? You are
+horrid! [She taps SHABELSKI on the arm with her fan]
+
+SHABELSKI. [Impatiently] Leave me alone! I can't abide you!
+
+MARTHA. [Frightened] How? What?
+
+SHABELSKI. Go away!
+
+MARTHA. [Sinks into an arm-chair] Oh! Oh! Oh! [She bursts into tears.]
+
+Enter ZINAIDA crying.
+
+ZINAIDA. Some one has just arrived; it must be one of the ushers. It is
+time for the ceremony to begin.
+
+SASHA. [Imploringly] Mother!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Well, now you are all bawling. What a quartette! Come, come,
+don't let us have any more of this dampness! Matthew! Martha! If you go
+on like this, I--I--shall cry too. [Bursts into tears] Heavens!
+
+ZINAIDA. If you don't need your mother any more, if you are determined
+not to obey her, I shall have to do as you want, and you have my
+blessing.
+
+Enter IVANOFF, dressed in a long coat, with gloves on.
+
+LEBEDIEFF This is the finishing touch! What do you want?
+
+SHABELSKI. Why are you here?
+
+IVANOFF. I beg your pardon, you must allow me to speak to Sasha alone.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. The bridegroom must not come to see the bride before the
+wedding. It is time for you to go to the church.
+
+IVANOFF. Paul, I implore you.
+
+LEBEDIEFF shrugs his shoulders. LEBEDIEFF, ZINAIDA, SHABELSKI, and
+MARTHA go out.
+
+SASHA. [Sternly] What do you want?
+
+IVANOFF. I am choking with anger; I cannot speak calmly. Listen to me;
+as I was dressing just now for the wedding, I looked in the glass and
+saw how grey my temples were. Sasha, this must not be! Let us end this
+senseless comedy before it is too late. You are young and pure; you have
+all your life before you, but I----
+
+SASHA. The same old story; I have heard it a thousand times and I am
+tired of it. Go quickly to the church and don't keep everybody waiting!
+
+IVANOFF. I shall go straight home, and you must explain to your family
+somehow that there is to be no wedding. Explain it as you please. It is
+time we came to our senses. I have been playing the part of Hamlet and
+you have been playing the part of a noble and devoted girl. We have kept
+up the farce long enough.
+
+SASHA. [Losing her temper] How can you speak to me like this? I won't
+have it.
+
+IVANOFF. But I am speaking, and will continue to speak.
+
+SASHA. What do you mean by coming to me like this? Your melancholy has
+become absolutely ridiculous!
+
+IVANOFF. No, this is not melancholy. It is ridiculous, is it? Yes, I am
+laughing, and if it were possible for me to laugh at myself a thousand
+times more bitterly I should do so and set the whole world laughing,
+too, in derision. A fierce light has suddenly broken over my soul; as I
+looked into the glass just now, I laughed at myself, and nearly went mad
+with shame. [He laughs] Melancholy indeed! Noble grief! Uncontrollable
+sorrow! It only remains for me now to begin to write verses! Shall I
+mope and complain, sadden everybody I meet, confess that my manhood
+has gone forever, that I have decayed, outlived my purpose, that I
+have given myself up to cowardice and am bound hand and foot by this
+loathsome melancholy? Shall I confess all this when the sun is shining
+so brightly and when even the ants are carrying their little burdens in
+peaceful self-content? No, thanks. Can I endure the knowledge that one
+will look upon me as a fraud, while another pities me, a third lends
+me a helping hand, or worst of all, a fourth listens reverently to my
+sighs, looks upon me as a new Mahomet, and expects me to expound a new
+religion every moment? No, thank God for the pride and conscience he has
+left me still. On my way here I laughed at myself, and it seemed to me
+that the flowers and birds were laughing mockingly too.
+
+SASHA. This is not anger, but madness!
+
+IVANOFF. You think so, do you? No, I am not mad. I see things in their
+right light now, and my mind is as clear as your conscience. We love
+each other, but we shall never be married. It makes no difference how I
+rave and grow bitter by myself, but I have no right to drag another
+down with me. My melancholy robbed my wife of the last year of her life.
+Since you have been engaged to me you have forgotten how to laugh and
+have aged five years. Your father, to whom life was always simple and
+clear, thanks to me, is now unable to understand anybody. Wherever I go,
+whether hunting or visiting, it makes no difference, I carry depression,
+dulness, and discontent along with me. Wait! Don't interrupt me! I am
+bitter and harsh, I know, but I am stifled with rage. I cannot speak
+otherwise. I have never lied, and I never used to find fault with my
+lot, but since I have begun to complain of everything, I find fault with
+it involuntarily, and against my will. When I murmur at my fate every
+one who hears me is seized with the same disgust of life and begins to
+grumble too. And what a strange way I have of looking at things!
+Exactly as if I were doing the world a favour by living in it. Oh, I am
+contemptible.
+
+SASHA. Wait a moment. From what you have just said, it is obvious that
+you are tired of your melancholy mood, and that the time has come for
+you to begin life afresh. How splendid!
+
+IVANOFF. I don't see anything splendid about it. How can I lead a new
+life? I am lost forever. It is time we both understood that. A new life
+indeed!
+
+SASHA. Nicholas, come to your senses. How can you say you are lost? What
+do you mean by such cynicism? No, I won't listen to you or talk with
+you. Go to the church!
+
+IVANOFF. I am lost!
+
+SASHA. Don't talk so loud; our guests will hear you!
+
+IVANOFF. If an intelligent, educated, and healthy man begins to complain
+of his lot and go down-hill, there is nothing for him to do but to go on
+down until he reaches the bottom--there is no hope for him. Where could
+my salvation come from? How can I save myself? I cannot drink, because
+it makes my head ache. I never could write bad poetry. I cannot pray for
+strength and see anything lofty in the languor of my soul. Laziness is
+laziness and weakness weakness. I can find no other names for them. I
+am lost, I am lost; there is no doubt of that. [Looking around] Some one
+might come in; listen, Sasha, if you love me you must help me. Renounce
+me this minute; quickly!
+
+SASHA. Oh, Nicholas! If you only knew how you are torturing me; what
+agony I have to endure for your sake! Good thoughtful friend, judge for
+yourself; can I possibly solve such a problem? Each day you put some
+horrible problem before me, each one more difficult than the last. I
+wanted to help you with my love, but this is martyrdom!
+
+IVANOFF. And when you are my wife the problems will be harder than ever.
+Understand this: it is not love that is urging you to take this step,
+but the obstinacy of an honest nature. You have undertaken to reawaken
+the man in me and to save me in the face of every difficulty, and you
+are flattered by the hope of achieving your object. You are willing to
+give up now, but you are prevented from doing it by a feeling that is a
+false one. Understand yourself!
+
+SASHA. What strange, wild reasoning! How can I give you up now? How
+can I? You have no mother, or sister, or friends. You are ruined; your
+estate has been destroyed; every one is speaking ill of you--
+
+IVANOFF. It was foolish of me to come here; I should have done as I
+wanted to--
+
+Enter LEBEDIEFF.
+
+SASHA. [Running to her father] Father! He has rushed over here like a
+madman, and is torturing me! He insists that I should refuse to marry
+him; he says he doesn't want to drag me down with him. Tell him that I
+won't accept his generosity. I know what I am doing!
+
+LEBEDIEFF. I can't understand a word of what you are saying. What
+generosity?
+
+IVANOFF. This marriage is not going to take place.
+
+SASHA. It is going to take place. Papa, tell him that it is going to
+take place.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Wait! Wait! What objection have you to the marriage?
+
+IVANOFF. I have explained it all to her, but she refuses to understand
+me.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Don't explain it to her, but to me, and explain it so that I
+may understand. God forgive you, Nicholas, you have brought a great deal
+of darkness into our lives. I feel as if I were living in a museum; I
+look about me and don't understand anything I see. This is torture. What
+on earth can an old man like me do with you? Shall I challenge you to a
+duel?
+
+IVANOFF. There is no need of a duel. All you need is a head on your
+shoulders and a knowledge of the Russian language.
+
+SASHA. [Walks up and down in great excitement] This is dreadful,
+dreadful! Absolutely childish.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas; from your point of view what you are
+doing is quite right and proper, according to the rules of psychology,
+but I think this affair is a scandal and a great misfortune. I am an old
+man; hear me out for the last time. This is what I want to say to you:
+calm yourself; look at things simply, as every one else does; this is
+a simple world. The ceiling is white; your boots are black; sugar is
+sweet. You love Sasha and she loves you. If you love her, stay with
+her; if you don't, leave her. We shan't blame you. It is all perfectly
+simple. You are two healthy, intelligent, moral young people; thank God,
+you both have food and clothing--what more do you want? What if you
+have no money? That is no great misfortune--happiness is not bought with
+wealth. Of course your estate is mortgaged, Nicholas, as I know, and you
+have no money to pay the interest on the debt, but I am Sasha's father.
+I understand. Her mother can do as she likes--if she won't give any
+money, why, confound her, then she needn't, that's all! Sasha has just
+said that she does not want her part of it. As for your principles,
+Schopenhauer and all that, it is all folly. I have one hundred thousand
+roubles in the bank. [Looking around him] Not a soul in the house knows
+it; it was my grandmother's money. That shall be for you both. Take it,
+give Matthew two thousand--
+
+[The guests begin to collect in the ball-room].
+
+IVANOFF. It is no use discussing it any more, I must act as my
+conscience bids me.
+
+SASHA. And I shall act as my conscience bids me--you may say what you
+please; I refuse to let you go! I am going to call my mother.
+
+LEBEDIEFF. I am utterly puzzled.
+
+IVANOFF. Listen to me, poor old friend. I shall not try to explain
+myself to you. I shall not tell you whether I am honest or a rascal,
+healthy or mad; you wouldn't understand me. I was young once; I have
+been eager and sincere and intelligent. I have loved and hated and
+believed as no one else has. I have worked and hoped and tilted against
+windmills with the strength of ten--not sparing my strength, not knowing
+what life was. I shouldered a load that broke my back. I drank, I
+worked, I excited myself, my energy knew no bounds. Tell me, could I
+have done otherwise? There are so few of us and so much to do, so much
+to do! And see how cruelly fate has revenged herself on me, who fought
+with her so bravely! I am a broken man. I am old at thirty. I have
+submitted myself to old age. With a heavy head and a sluggish mind,
+weary, used up, discouraged, without faith or love or an object in life,
+I wander like a shadow among other men, not knowing why I am alive or
+what it is that I want. Love seems to me to be folly, caresses false.
+I see no sense in working or playing, and all passionate speeches seem
+insipid and tiresome. So I carry my sadness with me wherever I go; a
+cold weariness, a discontent, a horror of life. Yes, I am lost for ever
+and ever. Before you stands a man who at thirty-five is disillusioned,
+wearied by fruitless efforts, burning with shame, and mocking at his own
+weakness. Oh, how my pride rebels against it all! What mad fury chokes
+me! [He staggers] I am staggering--my strength is failing me. Where is
+Matthew? Let him take me home.
+
+[Voices from the ball-room] The best man has arrived!
+
+Enter SHABELSKI.
+
+SHABELSKI. In an old worn-out coat--without gloves! How many scornful
+glances I get for it! Such silly jokes and vulgar grins! Disgusting
+people.
+
+Enter BORKIN quickly. He is carrying a bunch of flowers and is in a
+dress-coat. He wears a flower in his buttonhole.
+
+BORKIN. This is dreadful! Where is he? [To IVANOFF] They have been
+waiting for you for a long time in the church, and here you are talking
+philosophy! What a funny chap you are. Don't you know you must not go
+to church with the bride, but alone, with me? I shall then come back for
+her. Is it possible you have not understood that? You certainly are an
+extraordinary man!
+
+Enter LVOFF.
+
+LVOFF. [To IVANOFF] Ah! So you are here? [Loudly] Nicholas Ivanoff, I
+denounce you to the world as a scoundrel!
+
+IVANOFF. [Coldly] Many thanks!
+
+BORKIN. [To LVOFF] Sir, this is dastardly! I challenge you to a duel!
+
+LVOFF. Monsieur Borkin, I count it a disgrace not only to fight with
+you, but even to talk to you! Monsieur Ivanoff, however, can receive
+satisfaction from me whenever he chooses!
+
+SHABELSKI. Sir, I shall fight you!
+
+SASHA. [To LVOFF] Why, oh why, have you insulted him? Gentlemen, I beg
+you, let him tell me why he has insulted him.
+
+LVOFF. Miss Sasha, I have not insulted him without cause. I came here
+as a man of honour, to open your eyes, and I beg you to listen to what I
+have to tell you.
+
+SASHA. What can you possibly have to tell me? That you are a man of
+honour? The whole world knows it. You had better tell me on your honour
+whether you understand what you have done or not. You have come in
+here as a man of honour and have insulted him so terribly that you have
+nearly killed me. When you used to follow him like a shadow and almost
+keep him from living, you were convinced that you were doing your duty
+and that you were acting like a man of honour. When you interfered in
+his private affairs, maligned him and criticised him; when you sent me
+and whomever else you could, anonymous letters, you imagined yourself to
+be an honourable man! And, thinking that that too was honourable, you,
+a doctor, did not even spare his dying wife or give her a moment's peace
+from your suspicions. And no matter what violence, what cruel wrong you
+committed, you still imagined yourself to be an unusually honourable and
+clear-sighted man.
+
+IVANOFF. [Laughing] This is not a wedding, but a parliament! Bravo!
+Bravo!
+
+SASHA. [To LVOFF] Now, think it over! Do you see what sort of a man you
+are, or not? Oh, the stupid, heartless people! [Takes IVANOFF by the
+hand] Come away from here Nicholas! Come, father, let us go!
+
+IVANOFF. Where shall we go? Wait a moment. I shall soon put an end to
+the whole thing. My youth is awake in me again; the former Ivanoff is
+here once more.
+
+[He takes out a revolver.]
+
+SASHA. [Shrieking] I know what he wants to do! Nicholas, for God's sake!
+
+IVANOFF. I have been slipping down-hill long enough. Now, halt! It is
+time to know what honour is. Out of the way! Thank you, Sasha!
+
+SASHA. [Shrieking] Nicholas! For God's sake hold him!
+
+IVANOFF. Let go! [He rushes aside, and shoots himself.]
+
+The curtain falls.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ivanoff, by Anton Checkov
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IVANOFF ***
+
+***** This file should be named 1755.txt or 1755.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/1/7/5/1755/
+
+Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.