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<H1>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Ivanoff,
<br>by Anton Chekhov</H1>

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Title: Ivanoff

Author: Anton Chekhov

Release Date: May, 1999  [EBook #1755]
[Most recently updated: February 17, 2003]

Edition: 10

Language: English

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*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, IVANOFF ***




</PRE>
Ivanoff
<p>by Anton Checkov</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>

<p>
  IVANOFF</p>
<p>A PLAY</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3 align="center">CHARACTERS</h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>NICHOLAS IVANOFF, perpetual member of the Council of Peasant
  Affairs</p>
<p>ANNA, his wife. Nee Sarah Abramson</p>
<p>MATTHEW SHABELSKI, a count, uncle of Ivanoff</p>
<p>PAUL LEBEDIEFF, President of the Board of the Zemstvo</p>
<p>ZINAIDA, his wife</p>
<p>SASHA, their daughter, twenty years old</p>
<p>LVOFF, a young government doctor</p>
<p>MARTHA BABAKINA, a young widow, owner of an estate and daughter
  of a rich merchant</p>
<p>KOSICH, an exciseman</p>
<p>MICHAEL BORKIN, a distant relative of Ivanoff, and manager of his
  estate</p>
<p>AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, an old woman</p>
<p>GEORGE, lives with the Lebedieffs</p>
<p>FIRST GUEST</p>
<p>SECOND GUEST</p>
<p>THIRD GUEST</p>
<p>FOURTH GUEST</p>
<p>PETER, a servant of Ivanoff</p>
<p>GABRIEL, a servant of Lebedieff</p>
<p>GUESTS OF BOTH SEXES</p>
<p>The play takes place in one of the provinces of central Russia</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2 align="center">IVANOFF</h2>
<h3 align="center">ACT I</h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The garden of IVANOFF'S country place. On the left is a terrace
  and the facade of the house. One window is open. Below the
  terrace is a broad semicircular lawn, from which paths lead to
  right and left into a garden. On the right are several garden
  benches and tables. A lamp is burning on one of the tables. It is
  evening. As the curtain rises sounds of the piano and violoncello
  are heard.</p>
<p>IVANOFF is sitting at a table reading.</p>
<p>BORKIN, in top-boots and carrying a gun, comes in from the rear of the garden. 
  He is a little tipsy. As he sees IVANOFF he comes toward him on tiptoe, and 
  when he comes opposite him he stops and points the gun at his face.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Catches sight of BORKIN. Shudders and jumps to his
  feet] Misha! What are you doing? You frightened me! I can't stand
  your stupid jokes when I am so nervous as this. And having
  frightened me, you laugh! [He sits down.]</p>
<p>BORKIN. [Laughing loudly] There, I am sorry, really. I won't do
  it again. Indeed I won't. [Take off his cap] How hot it is! Just
  think, my dear boy, I have covered twelve miles in the last three
  hours. I am worn out. Just feel how my heart is beating.</p>
<p>
  IVANOFF. [Goes on reading] Oh, very well. I shall feel it later!</p>
<p>BORKIN. No, feel it now. [He takes IVANOFF'S hand and presses it
  against his breast] Can you feel it thumping? That means that it
  is weak and that I may die suddenly at any moment. Would you be
  sorry if I died?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I am reading now. I shall attend to you later.</p>
<p>BORKIN. No, seriously, would you be sorry if I died? Nicholas,
  would you be sorry if I died?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Leave me alone!</p>
<p>BORKIN. Come, tell me if you would be sorry or not.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I am sorry that you smell so of vodka, Misha, it is
  disgusting.</p>
<p>BORKIN. Do I smell of vodka? How strange! And yet, it is not so
  strange after all. I met the magistrate on the road, and I must
  admit that we did drink about eight glasses together. Strictly
  speaking, of course, drinking is very harmful. Listen, it is
  harmful, isn't it? Is it? Is it?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. This is unendurable! Let me warn you, Misha, that you
  are going too far.</p>
<p>BORKIN. Well, well, excuse me. Sit here by yourself then, for
  heaven's sake, if it amuses you. [Gets up and goes away] What
  extraordinary people one meets in the world. They won't even
  allow themselves to be spoken to. [He comes back] Oh, yes, I
  nearly forgot. Please let me have eighty-two roubles.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Why do you want eighty-two roubles?</p>
<p>BORKIN. To pay the workmen to-morrow.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I haven't the money.</p>
<p>BORKIN. Many thanks. [Angrily] So you haven't the money! And yet
  the workmen must be paid, mustn't they?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I don't know. Wait till my salary comes in on the first
  of the month.</p>
<p>BORKIN. How is it possible to discuss anything with a man like
  you? Can't you understand that the workmen are coming to-morrow
  morning and not on the first of the month?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. How can I help it? I'll be hanged if I can do anything
  about it now. And what do you mean by this irritating way you
  have of pestering me whenever I am trying to read or write or---</p>
<p>BORKIN. Must the workmen be paid or not, I ask you? But, good
  gracious! What is the use of talking to you! [Waves his hand] Do
  you think because you own an estate you can command the whole
  world? With your two thousand acres and your empty pockets you
  are like a man who has a cellar full of wine and no corkscrew. I
  have sold the oats as they stand in the field. Yes, sir! And
  to-morrow I shall sell the rye and the carriage horses. [He
  stamps up and down] Do you think I am going to stand upon
  ceremony with you? Certainly not! I am not that kind of a man!</p>
<p>ANNA appears at the open window.</p>
<p>ANNA. Whose voice did I hear just now? Was it yours, Misha? Why
  are you stamping up and down?</p>
<p>BORKIN. Anybody who had anything to do with your Nicholas would
  stamp up and down.</p>
<p>ANNA. Listen, Misha! Please have some hay carried onto the
  croquet lawn.</p>
<p>BORKIN. [Waves his hand] Leave me alone, please!</p>
<p>ANNA. Oh, what manners! They are not becoming to you at all. If
  you want to be liked by women you must never let them see you
  when you are angry or obstinate. [To her husband] Nicholas, let
  us go and play on the lawn in the hay!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Don't you know it is bad for you to stand at the open
  window, Annie? [Calls] Shut the window, Uncle!</p>
<p>[The window is shut from the inside.]</p>
<p>BORKIN. Don't forget that the interest on the money you owe
  Lebedieff must be paid in two days.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I haven't forgotten it. I am going over to see Lebedieff
  today and shall ask him to wait</p>
<p>[He looks at his watch.]</p>
<p>BORKIN. When are you going?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. At once.</p>
<p>BORKIN. Wait! Wait! Isn't this Sasha's birthday? So it is! The
  idea of my forgetting it. What a memory I have. [Jumps about] I
  shall go with you! [Sings] I shall go, I shall go! Nicholas, old
  man, you are the joy of my life. If you were not always so
  nervous and cross and gloomy, you and I could do great things
  together. I would do anything for you. Shall I marry Martha
  Babakina and give you half her fortune? That is, not half,
  either, but all--take it all!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Enough of this nonsense!</p>
<p>BORKIN. No, seriously, shan't I marry Martha and halve the money
  with you? But no, why should I propose it? How can you
  understand? [Angrily] You say to me: &quot;Stop talking nonsense!&quot; You
  are a good man and a clever one, but you haven't any red blood in
  your veins or any--well, enthusiasm. Why, if you wanted to, you
  and I could cut a dash together that would shame the devil
  himself. If you were a normal man instead of a morbid
  hypochondriac we would have a million in a year. For instance, if
  I had twenty-three hundred roubles now I could make twenty
  thousand in two weeks. You don't believe me? You think it is all
  nonsense? No, it isn't nonsense. Give me twenty-three hundred
  roubles and let me try. Ofsianoff is selling a strip of land
  across the river for that price. If we buy this, both banks will
  be ours, and we shall have the right to build a dam across the
  river. Isn't that so? We can say that we intend to build a mill,
  and when the people on the river below us hear that we mean to
  dam the river they will, of course, object violently and we shall
  say: If you don't want a dam here you will have to pay to get us
  away. Do you see the result? The factory would give us five
  thousand roubles, Korolkoff three thousand, the monastery five
  thousand more--</p>
<p>IVANOFF. All that is simply idiotic, Misha. If you don't want me
  to lose my temper you must keep your schemes to yourself.</p>
<p>BORKIN. [Sits down at the table] Of course! I knew how it would
  be! You never will act for yourself, and you tie my hands so that
  I am helpless.</p>
<p>Enter SHABELSKI and LVOFF.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. The only difference between lawyers and doctors is that lawyers 
  simply rob you, whereas doctors both rob you and kill you. I am not referring 
  to any one present. [Sits down on the bench] They are all frauds and swindlers. 
  Perhaps in Arcadia you might find an exception to the general rule and yet--I 
  have treated thousands of sick people myself in my life, and I have never met 
  a doctor who did not seem to me to be an unmistakable scoundrel. </p>
<p>BORKIN. [To IVANOFF] Yes, you tie my hands and never do anything
  for yourself, and that is why you have no money.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. As I said before, I am not referring to any one here
  at present; there may be exceptions though, after all-- [He
  yawns.]</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Shuts his book] What have you to tell me, doctor?</p>
<p>LVOFF. [Looks toward the window] Exactly what I said this
  morning: she must go to the Crimea at once. [Walks up and down.]</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Bursts out laughing] To the Crimea! Why don't you and
  I set up as doctors, Misha? Then, if some Madame Angot or Ophelia
  finds the world tiresome and begins to cough and be consumptive,
  all we shall have to do will be to write out a prescription
  according to the laws of medicine: that is, first, we shall order
  her a young doctor, and then a journey to the Crimea. There some
  fascinating young Tartar---</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Interrupting] Oh, don't be coarse! [To LVOFF] It takes
  money to go to the Crimea, and even if I could afford it, you
  know she has refused to go.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Yes, she has. [A pause.]</p>
<p>BORKIN. Look here, doctor, is Anna really so ill that she
  absolutely must go to the Crimea?</p>
<p>LVOFF. [Looking toward the window] Yes, she has consumption.</p>
<p>BORKIN. Whew! How sad! I have seen in her face for some time that
  she could not last much longer.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Can't you speak quietly? She can hear everything you say.
  [A pause.]</p>
<p>BORKIN. [Sighing] The life of man is like a flower, blooming so
  gaily in a field. Then, along comes a goat, he eats it, and the
  flower is gone!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Oh, nonsense, nonsense. [Yawning] Everything is a
  fraud and a swindle. [A pause.]</p>
<p>BORKIN. Gentlemen, I have been trying to tell Nicholas how he can
  make some money, and have submitted a brilliant plan to him, but
  my seed, as usual, has fallen on barren soil. Look what a sight
  he is now: dull, cross, bored, peevish---</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Gets up and stretches himself] You are always
  inventing schemes for everybody, you clever fellow, and telling
  them how to live; can't you tell me something? Give me some good
  advice, you ingenious young man. Show me a good move to make.</p>
<p>BORKIN. [Getting up] I am going to have a swim. Goodbye,
  gentlemen. [To Shabelski] There are at least twenty good moves
  you could make. If I were you I should have twenty thousand
  roubles in a week.</p>
<p>[He goes out; SHABELSKI follows him.]</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. How would you do it? Come, explain.</p>
<p>BORKIN. There is nothing to explain, it is so simple. [Coming
  back] Nicholas, give me a rouble.</p>
<p>IVANOFF silently hands him the money</p>
<p>BORKIN. Thanks. Shabelski, you still hold some trump cards.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI follows him out.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Well, what are they?</p>
<p>BORKIN. If I were you I should have thirty thousand roubles and
  more in a week. [They go out together.]</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [After a pause] Useless people, useless talk, and the
  necessity of answering stupid questions, have wearied me so,
  doctor, that I am ill. I have become so irritable and bitter that
  I don't know myself. My head aches for days at a time. I hear a
  ringing in my ears, I can't sleep, and yet there is no escape
  from it all, absolutely none.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Ivanoff, I have something serious to speak to you about.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. What is it ?</p>
<p>LVOFF. It is about your wife. She refuses to go to the Crimea
  alone, but she would go with you.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Thoughtfully] It would cost a great deal for us both to
  go, and besides, I could not get leave to be away for so long. I
  have had one holiday already this year.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Very well, let us admit that. Now to proceed. The best
  cure for consumption is absolute peace of mind, and your wife has
  none whatever. She is forever excited by your behaviour to her.
  Forgive me, I am excited and am going to speak frankly. Your
  treatment of her is killing her. [A pause] Ivanoff, let me
  believe better things of you.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. What you say is true, true. I must be terribly guilty,
  but my mind is confused. My will seems to be paralysed by a kind
  of stupor; I can't understand myself or any one else. [Looks
  toward the window] Come, let us take a walk, we might be
  overheard here. [They get up] My dear friend, you should hear the
  whole story from the beginning if it were not so long and
  complicated that to tell it would take all night. [They walk up
  and down] Anna is a splendid, an exceptional woman. She has left
  her faith, her parents and her fortune for my sake. If I should
  demand a hundred other sacrifices, she would consent to every one
  without the quiver of an eyelid. Well, I am not a remarkable man
  in any way, and have sacrificed nothing. However, the story is a
  long one. In short, the whole point is, my dear doctor--
  [Confused] that I married her for love and promised to love her
  forever, and now after five years she loves me still and I-- [He
  waves his hand] Now, when you tell me she is dying, I feel
  neither love nor pity, only a sort of loneliness and weariness.
  To all appearances this must seem horrible, and I cannot
  understand myself what is happening to me. [They go out.]</p>
<p>SHABELSKI comes in.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Laughing] Upon my word, that man is no scoundrel, but
  a great thinker, a master-mind. He deserves a memorial. He is the
  essence of modern ingenuity, and combines in himself alone the
  genius of the lawyer, the doctor, and the financier. [He sits
  down on the lowest step of the terrace] And yet he has never
  finished a course of studies in any college; that is so
  surprising. What an ideal scoundrel he would have made if he had
  acquired a little culture and mastered the sciences! &quot;You could
  make twenty thousand roubles in a week,&quot; he said. &quot;You still hold
  the ace of trumps: it is your title.&quot; [Laughing] He said I might
  get a rich girl to marry me for it! [ANNA opens the window and
  looks down] &quot;Let me make a match between you and Martha,&quot; says
  he. Who is this Martha? It must be that Balabalkina--Babakalkina
  woman, the one that looks like a laundress.</p>
<p>ANNA. Is that you, Count?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. What do you want?</p>
<p>ANNA laughs.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [With a Jewish accent] Vy do you laugh?</p>
<p>ANNA. I was thinking of something you said at dinner, do you
  remember? How was it--a forgiven thief, a doctored horse.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. A forgiven thief, a doctored horse, and a
  Christianised Jew are all worth the same price.</p>
<p>ANNA. [Laughing] You can't even repeat the simplest saying
  without ill-nature. You are a most malicious old man. [Seriously]
  Seriously, Count you are extremely disagreeable, and very
  tiresome and painful to live with. You are always grumbling and
  growling, and everybody to you is a blackguard and a scoundrel.
  Tell me honestly, Count, have you ever spoken well of any one?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Is this an inquisition?</p>
<p>ANNA. We have lived under this same roof now for five years, and
  I have never heard you speak kindly of people, or without
  bitterness and derision. What harm has the world done to you? Is
  it possible that you consider yourself better than any one else?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Not at all. I think we are all of us scoundrels and
  hypocrites. I myself am a degraded old man, and as useless as a
  cast-off shoe. I abuse myself as much as any one else. I was rich
  once, and free, and happy at times, but now I am a dependent, an
  object of charity, a joke to the world. When I am at last
  exasperated and defy them, they answer me with a laugh. When I
  laugh, they shake their heads sadly and say, &quot;The old man has
  gone mad.&quot; But oftenest of all I am unheard and unnoticed by
  every one.</p>
<p>ANNA. [Quietly] Screaming again.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Who is screaming?</p>
<p>ANNA. The owl. It screams every evening.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Let it scream. Things are as bad as they can be
  already. [Stretches himself] Alas, my dear Sarah! If I could only
  win a thousand or two roubles, I should soon show you what I
  could do. I wish you could see me! I should get away out of this
  hole, and leave the bread of charity, and should not show my nose
  here again until the last judgment day.</p>
<p>ANNA. What would you do if you were to win so much money?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Thoughtfully] First I would go to Moscow to hear the
  Gipsies play, and then--then I should fly to Paris and take an
  apartment and go to the Russian Church.</p>
<p>ANNA. And what else?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. I would go and sit on my wife's grave for days and
  days and think. I would sit there until I died. My wife is buried
  in Paris. [A pause.]</p>
<p>ANNA. How terribly dull this is! Shall we play a duet?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. As you like. Go and get the music ready. [ANNA goes
  out.]</p>
<p>IVANOFF and LVOFF appear in one of the paths.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. My dear friend, you left college last year, and you are
  still young and brave. Being thirty-five years old I have the
  right to advise you. Don't marry a Jewess or a bluestocking or a
  woman who is queer in any way. Choose some nice, common-place
  girl without any strange and startling points in her character.
  Plan your life for quiet; the greyer and more monotonous you can
  make the background, the better. My dear boy, do not try to fight
  alone against thousands; do not tilt with windmills; do not dash
  yourself against the rocks. And, above all, may you be spared the
  so-called rational life, all wild theories and impassioned talk.
  Everything is in the hands of God, so shut yourself up in your
  shell and do your best. That is the pleasant, honest, healthy way
  to live. But the life I have chosen has been so tiring, oh, so
  tiring! So full of mistakes, of injustice and stupidity! [Catches
  sight of SHABELSKI, and speaks angrily] There you are again,
  Uncle, always under foot, never letting one have a moment's quiet
  talk!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [In a tearful voice] Is there no refuge anywhere for a
  poor old devil like me? [He jumps up and runs into the house.]</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Now I have offended him! Yes, my nerves have certainly
  gone to pieces. I must do something about it, I must---</p>
<p>LVOFF. [Excitedly] Ivanoff, I have heard all you have to say
  and--and--I am going to speak frankly. You have shown me in your
  voice and manner, as well as in your words, the most heartless
  egotism and pitiless cruelty. Your nearest friend is dying simply
  because she is near you, her days are numbered, and you can feel
  such indifference that you go about giving advice and analysing
  your feelings. I cannot say all I should like to; I have not the
  gift of words, but--but I can at least say that you are deeply
  antipathetic to me.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I suppose I am. As an onlooker, of course you see me
  more clearly than I see myself, and your judgment of me is
  probably right. No doubt I
  am terribly guilty. [Listens] I think I hear the carriage
  coming. I must get ready to go. [He goes toward the house and
  then stops] You dislike me, doctor, and you don't conceal it.
  Your sincerity does you credit. [He goes into the house.]</p>
<p>LVOFF. [Alone] What a confoundedly disagreeable character! I have
  let another opportunity slip without speaking to him as I meant
  to, but I simply cannot talk calmly to that man. The moment I
  open my mouth to speak I feel such a commotion and suffocation
  here [He puts his hand on his breast] that my tongue sticks to
  the roof of my mouth. Oh, I loathe that Tartuffe, that
  unmitigated rascal, with all my heart! There he is, preparing to
  go driving in spite of the entreaties of his unfortunate wife,
  who adores him and whose only happiness is his presence. She
  implores him to spend at least one evening with her, and he
  cannot even do that. Why, he might shoot himself in despair if he
  had to stay at home! Poor fellow, what he wants are new fields
  for his villainous schemes. Oh, I know why you go to Lebedieff's
  every evening, Ivanoff! I know.</p>
<p>Enter IVANOFF, in hat and coat, ANNA and SHABELSKI</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Look here, Nicholas, this is simply barbarous You go
  away every evening and leave us here alone, and we get so bored
  that we have to go to bed at eight o'clock. It is a scandal, and
  no decent way of living. Why can you go driving if we can't? Why?</p>
<p>ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Let him go if he wants to.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. How can a sick woman like you go anywhere? You know you
  have a cough and must not go out after sunset. Ask the doctor
  here. You are no child, Annie, you must be reasonable. And as for
  you, what would you do with yourself over there?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. I am ready to go anywhere: into the jaws of a
  crocodile, or even into the jaws of hell, so long as I don't have
  to stay here. I am horribly bored. I am stupefied by this
  dullness. Every one here is tired of me. You leave me at home to
  entertain Anna, but I feel more like scratching and biting her.</p>
<p>ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Leave him alone. Let him go if he
  enjoys himself there.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. What does this mean, Annie? You know I am not going for
  pleasure. I must see Lebedieff about the money I owe him.</p>
<p>ANNA. I don't see why you need justify yourself to me. Go ahead!
  Who is keeping you?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Heavens! Don't let us bite one another's heads off. Is
  that really unavoidable?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Tearfully] Nicholas, my dear boy, do please take me
  with you. I might possibly be amused a little by the sight of all
  the fools and scoundrels I should see there. You know I haven't
  been off this place since Easter.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Exasperated] Oh, very well! Come along then! How
  tiresome you all are!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. I may go? Oh, thank you! [Takes him gaily by the arm
  and leads him aside] May I wear your straw hat?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. You may, only hurry, please.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI runs into the house.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. How tired I am of you all! But no, what am I saying?
  Annie, my manner to you is insufferable, and it never used to be.
  Well, good-bye, Annie. I shall be back by one.</p>
<p>ANNA. Nicholas! My dear husband, stay at home to-night!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Excitedly] Darling, sweetheart, my dear, unhappy one, I
  implore you to let me leave home in the evenings. I know it is
  cruel and unjust to ask this, but let me do you this injustice.
  It is such torture for me to stay. As soon as the sun goes down
  my soul is overwhelmed by the most horrible despair. Don't ask me
  why; I don't know; I swear I don't. This dreadful melancholy
  torments me here, it drives me to the Lebedieff's and there it
  grows worse than ever. I rush home; it still pursues me; and so I
  am tortured all through the night. It is breaking my heart.</p>
<p>ANNA. Nicholas, won't you stay? We will talk together as we used
  to. We will have supper together and read afterward. The old
  grumbler and I have learned so many duets to play to you. [She
  kisses him. Then, after a pause] I can't understand you any more.
  This has been going on for a year now. What has changed you so?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I don't know.</p>
<p>ANNA. And why don't you want me to go driving with you in the
  evening?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. As you insist on knowing, I shall have to tell you. It
  is a little cruel, but you had best understand. When this
  melancholy fit is on me I begin to dislike you, Annie, and at
  such times I must escape from you. In short, I simply have to
  leave this house.</p>
<p>ANNA. Oh, you are sad, are you? I can understand that! Nicholas,
  let me tell you something: won't you try to sing and laugh and
  scold as you used to? Stay here, and we will drink some liqueur
  together. and laugh, and chase away this sadness of yours in no
  time. Shall I sing to you? Or shall we sit in your study in the
  twilight as we used to, while you tell me about your sadness? I
  can read such suffering in your eyes! Let me look into them and
  weep, and our hearts will both be lighter. [She laughs and cries
  at once] Or is it really true that the flowers return with every
  spring, but lost happiness never returns? Oh, is it? Well, go
  then, go!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Pray for me, Annie! [He goes; then stops and thinks for
  a moment] No, I can't do it. [IVANOFF goes out.]</p>
<p>ANNA. Yes, go, go-- [Sits down at the table.]</p>
<p>LVOFF. [Walking up and down] Make this a rule, Madam: as soon as
  the sun goes down you must go indoors and not come out again
  until morning. The damp evening air is bad for you.</p>
<p>ANNA. Yes, sir!</p>
<p>LVOFF. What do you mean by &quot;Yes, sir&quot;? I am speaking seriously.</p>
<p>ANNA. But I don't want to be serious. [She coughs.]</p>
<p>LVOFF. There now, you see, you are coughing already.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI comes out of the house in his hat and coat.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Where is Nicholas? Is the carriage here yet? [Goes
  quickly to ANNA and kisses her hand] Good-night, my darling!
  [Makes a face and speaks with a Jewish accent] I beg your bardon!
  [He goes quickly out.]</p>
<p>LVOFF. Idiot!</p>
<p>A pause; the sounds of a concertina are heard in the distance.</p>
<p>ANNA. Oh, how lonely it is! The coachman and the cook are having
  a little ball in there by themselves, and I--I am, as it were,
  abandoned. Why are you walking about, Doctor? Come and sit down
  here.</p>
<p>LVOFF. I can't sit down.</p>
<p>[A pause.]</p>
<p>ANNA. They are playing &quot;The Sparrow&quot; in the kitchen. [She sings]</p>
<p> &quot;Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you?
  On the mountain drinking dew.&quot;</p>
<p>[A pause] Are your father and mother living, Doctor?</p>
<p>LVOFF. My mother is living; my father is dead.</p>
<p>ANNA. Do you miss your mother very much?</p>
<p>LVOFF. I am too busy to miss any one.</p>
<p>ANNA. [Laughing] The flowers return with every spring, but lost
  happiness never returns. I wonder who taught me that? I think it
  was Nicholas himself. [Listens] The owl is hooting again.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Well, let it hoot.</p>
<p>ANNA. I have begun to think, Doctor, that fate has cheated me.
  Other people who, perhaps, are no better than I am are happy and
  have not had to pay for their happiness. But I have paid for it
  all, every moment of it, and such a price! Why should I have to
  pay so terribly? Dear friend, you are all too considerate and
  gentle with me to tell me the truth; but do you think I don't
  know what is the matter with me? I know perfectly well. However,
  this isn't a pleasant subject-- [With a Jewish accent] &quot;I beg
  your bardon!&quot; Can you tell funny stories?</p>
<p>LVOFF. No, I can't.</p>
<p>ANNA. Nicholas can. I am beginning to be surprised, too, at the
  injustice of people. Why do they return hatred for love, and
  answer truth with lies? Can you tell me how much longer I shall
  be hated by my mother and father? They live fifty miles away, and
  yet I can feel their hatred day and night, even in my sleep. And
  how do you account for the sadness of Nicholas? He says that he
  only dislikes me in the evening, when the fit is on him. I
  understand that, and can tolerate it, but what if he should come
  to dislike me altogether? Of course that is impossible, and
  yet--no, no, I mustn't even imagine such a thing. [Sings]</p>
<p> &quot;Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you?&quot;</p>
<p>[She shudders] What fearful thoughts I have! You are not married,
  Doctor; there are many things that you cannot understand.</p>
<p>LVOFF. You say you are surprised, but--but it is you who surprise
  me. Tell me, explain to me how you, an honest and intelligent
  woman, almost a
  saint, could allow yourself to be so basely deceived and dragged
  into this den of bears? Why are you here? What have you in common
  with such a cold and heartless--but enough of your husband! What
  have you in common with these wicked and vulgar surroundings?
  With that eternal grumbler, the crazy and decrepit Count? With
  that swindler, that prince of rascals, Misha, with his fool's
  face? Tell me, I say, how did you get here?</p>
<p>ANNA. [laughing] That is what he used to say, long ago, oh,
  exactly! Only his eyes are larger than yours, and when he was
  excited they used to shine like coals--go on, go on!</p>
<p>LVOFF. [Gets up and waves his hand] There is nothing more to say.
  Go into the house.</p>
<p>ANNA. You say that Nicholas is not what he should be, that his
  faults are so and so. How can you possibly understand him? How
  can you learn to know any one in six months? He is a wonderful
  man, Doctor, and I am sorry you could not have known him as he
  was two or three years ago. He is depressed and silent now, and
  broods all day without doing anything, but he was splendid then.
  I fell in love with him at first sight. [Laughing] I gave one
  look and was caught like a mouse in a trap! So when he asked me
  to go with him I cut every tie that bound me to my old life as
  one snips the withered leaves from a plant. But things are
  different now. Now he goes to the Lebedieff's to amuse himself
  with other women, and I sit here in the garden and listen to the
  owls. [The WATCHMAN'S rattle is heard] Tell me, Doctor, have you
  any brothers and sisters?</p>
<p>LVOFF. No.</p>
<p>ANNA sobs.</p>
<p>LVOFF. What is it? What is the matter?</p>
<p>ANNA. I can't stand it, Doctor, I must go.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Where?</p>
<p>ANNA. To him. I am going. Have the horses harnessed. [She runs
  into the house.]</p>
<p>LVOFF. No, I certainly cannot go on treating any one under these
  conditions. I not only have to do it for nothing, but I am forced
  to endure this agony of mind besides. No, no, I can't stand it. I
  have had enough of it. [He goes into the house.]</p>
<p>The curtain falls.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3 align="center">ACT II</h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The drawing-room of LEBEDIEFF&Otilde;S house. In the centre is a door
  leading into a garden. Doors open out of the room to the right
  and left. The room is furnished with valuable old furniture,
  which is carefully protected by linen covers. The walls are hung
  with pictures. The room is lighted by candelabra. ZINAIDA is
  sitting on a sofa; the elderly guests are sitting in arm-chairs
  on either hand. The young guests are sitting about the room on
  small chairs. KOSICH, AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, GEORGE, and others are
  playing cards in the background. GABRIEL is standing near the
  door on the right. The maid is passing sweetmeats about on a
  tray. During the entire act guests come and go from the garden,
  through the room, out of the door on the left, and back again.
  Enter MARTHA through the door on the right. She goes toward
  ZINAIDA.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. [Gaily] My dearest Martha!</p>
<p>MARTHA. How do you do, Zinaida? Let me congratulate you on your
  daughter's birthday.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. Thank you, my dear; I am delighted to see you. How are
  you?</p>
<p>MARTHA. Very well indeed, thank you. [She sits down on the sofa]
  Good evening, young people!</p>
<p>The younger guests get up and bow.</p>
<p>FIRST GUEST. [Laughing] Young people indeed! Do you call yourself
  an old person?</p>
<p>MARTHA. [Sighing] How can I make any pretense to youth now?</p>
<p>FIRST GUEST. What nonsense! The fact that you are a widow means
  nothing. You could beat any pretty girl you chose at a canter.</p>
<p>GABRIEL brings MARTHA some tea.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. Why do you bring the tea in like that? Go and fetch some
  jam to eat with it!</p>
<p>MARTHA. No thank you; none for me, don't trouble yourself. [A
  pause.]</p>
<p>FIRST GUEST. [To MARTHA] Did you come through Mushkine on your
  way here?</p>
<p>MARTHA. No, I came by way of Spassk. The road is better that way.</p>
<p>FIRST GUEST. Yes, so it is.</p>
<p>KOSICH. Two in spades.</p>
<p>GEORGE. Pass.</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. Pass.</p>
<p>SECOND GUEST. Pass.</p>
<p>MARTHA. The price of lottery tickets has gone up again, my dear.
  I have never known such a state of affairs. The first issue is
  already worth two hundred and seventy and the second nearly two
  hundred and fifty. This has never happened before.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. How fortunate for those who have a great many tickets!</p>
<p>MARTHA. Don't say that, dear; even when the price of tickets is
  high it does not pay to put one's capital into them.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. Quite true, and yet, my dear, one never can tell what
  may happen. Providence is sometimes kind.</p>
<p>THIRD GUEST. My impression is, ladies, that at present capital is
  exceedingly unproductive. Shares pay very small dividends, and
  speculating is exceedingly dangerous. As I understand it, the
  capitalist now finds himself in a more critical position than the
  man who---</p>
<p>MARTHA. Quite right. </p>
<p>FIRST GUEST yawns.</p>
<p>MARTHA. How dare you yawn in the presence of ladies?</p>
<p>FIRST GUEST. I beg your pardon! It was quite an accident.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA gets up and goes out through the door on the right.</p>
<p>GEORGE. Two in hearts.</p>
<p>SECOND GUEST. Pass.</p>
<p>KOSICH. Pass.</p>
<p>MARTHA. [Aside] Heavens! This is deadly! I shall die of ennui.</p>
<p>Enter ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF through the door on the right.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. Why do you go off by yourself like a prima donna? Come
  and sit with our guests!</p>
<p>[She sits down in her former place.]</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Yawning] Oh, dear, our sins are heavy! [He catches
  sight of MARTHA] Why, there is my little sugar-plum! How is your
  most esteemed highness?</p>
<p>MARTHA. Very well, thank you.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Splendid, splendid! [He sits down in an armchair]
  Quite right--Oh, Gabriel!</p>
<p>GABRIEL brings him a glass of vodka and a tumbler of water. He
  empties the glass of vodka and sips the water.</p>
<p>FIRST GUEST. Good health to you!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Good health is too much to ask. I am content to keep
  death from the door. [To his wife] Where is the heroine of this
  occasion, Zuzu?</p>
<p>KOSICH. [In a plaintive voice] Look here, why haven't we taken
  any tricks yet? [He jumps up] Yes, why have we lost this game
  entirely, confound it?</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. [Jumps up angrily] Because, friend, you don't know how
  to play it, and have no right to be sitting here at all. What
  right had you to lead from another suit? Haven't you the ace
  left? [They both leave the table and run forward.]</p>
<p>KOSICH. [In a tearful voice] Ladies and gentlemen, let me
  explain! I had the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the
  ace of spades and one, just one, little heart, do you understand?
  Well, she, bad luck to her, she couldn't make a little slam. I
  said one in no-trumps--- *</p>
<p>*The game played is vint, the national card-game of Russia and
  the direct ancestor of auction bridge, with which it is almost
  identical. [translator's note]</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. [Interrupting him] No, I said one in no-trumps; you said
  two in no-trumps---</p>
<p>KOSICH. This is unbearable! Allow me--you had--I had--you had--
  [To LEBEDIEFF] But you shall decide it, Paul: I had the ace,
  king, queen, and eight of diamonds---</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Puts his fingers into his ears] Stop, for heaven's
  sake, stop!</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. [Yelling] I said no-trumps, and not he!</p>
<p>KOSICH. [Furiously] I'll be damned if I ever sit down to another
  game of cards with that old cat!</p>
<p>He rushes into the garden. The SECOND GUEST follows him. GEORGE
  is left alone at the table.</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. Whew! He makes my blood boil! Old cat, indeed! You're an
  old cat yourself!</p>
<p>MARTHA. How angry you are, aunty!</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. [Sees MARTHA and claps her hands] Are you here, my
  darling? My beauty! And was I blind as a bat, and didn't see you?
  Darling child! [She kisses her and sits down beside her] How
  happy this makes me! Let me feast my eyes on you, my milk-white
  swan! Oh, oh, you have bewitched me!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Why don't you find her a husband instead of singing
  her praises?</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. He shall be found. I shall not go to my grave before I
  have found a husband for her, and one for Sasha too. I shall not
  go to my grave-- [She sighs] But where to find these husbands
  nowadays? There sit some possible bridegrooms now, huddled
  together like a lot of half-drowned rats!</p>
<p>THIRD GUEST. A most unfortunate comparison! It is my belief,
  ladies, that if the young men of our day prefer to remain single,
  the fault lies not with them, but with the existing, social
  conditions!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Come, enough of that! Don't give us any mo re
  philosophy; I don't like it!</p>
<p>Enter SASHA. She goes up to her father.</p>
<p>SASHA. How can you endure the stuffy air of this room when the
  weather is so beautiful?</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. My dear Sasha, don't you see that Martha is here?</p>
<p>SASHA. I beg your pardon.</p>
<p>[She goes up to MARTHA and shakes hands.]</p>
<p>MARTHA. Yes, here I am, my dear little Sasha, and proud to
  congratulate you. [They kiss each other] Many happy returns of
  the day, dear!</p>
<p>SASHA. Thank you! [She goes and sits down by her father.]</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. As you were saying, Avdotia Nazarovna, husbands are
  hard to find. I don't want to be rude, but I must say that the
  young men of the present are a dull and poky lot, poor fellows!
  They can't dance or talk or drink as they should do.</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. Oh, as far as drinking goes, they are all experts. Just
  give them--give them---</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Simply to drink is no art. A horse can drink. No, it
  must be done in the right way. In my young days we used to sit
  and cudgel our brains all day over our lessons, but as soon as
  evening came we would fly off on some spree and keep it up till
  dawn. How we used to dance and flirt, and drink, too! Or
  sometimes we would sit and chatter and discuss everything under
  the sun until we almost wagged our tongues off. But now-- [He
  waves his hand] Boys are a puzzle to me. They are not willing
  either to give a candle to God or a pitchfork to the devil! There
  is only one young fellow in the country who is worth a penny, and
  he is married. [Sighs] They say, too, that he is going crazy.</p>
<p>MARTHA. Who is he?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Nicholas Ivanoff.</p>
<p>MARTHA. Yes, he is a fine fellow, only [Makes a face] he is very
  unhappy.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. How could he be otherwise, poor boy! [She sighs] He made
  such a bad mistake. When he married that Jewess of his he thought
  of course that her parents would give away whole mountains of
  gold with her, but, on the contrary, on the day she became a
  Christian they disowned her, and Ivanoff has never seen a penny
  of the money. He has repented of his folly now, but it is too
  late.</p>
<p>SASHA. Mother, that is not true!</p>
<p>MARTHA. How can you say it is not true, Sasha, when we all know
  it to be a fact? Why did he have to marry a Jewess? He must have
  had some reason for doing it. Are Russian girls so scarce? No, he
  made a mistake, poor fellow, a sad mistake. [Excitedly] And what
  on earth can he do with her now? Where could she go if he were to
  come home some day and say: &quot;Your parents have deceived me; leave
  my house at once!&quot; Her parents wouldn't take her back. She might
  find a place as a house-maid if she had ever learned to work,
  which she hasn't. He worries and worries her now, but the Count
  interferes. If it had not been for the Count, he would have
  worried her to death long ago.</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. They say he shuts her up in a cellar and stuffs her with
  garlic, and she eats and eats until her very soul reeks of it.
  [Laughter.]</p>
<p>SASHA. But, father, you know that isn't true!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. What if it isn't, Sasha? Let them spin yarns if it
  amuses them. [He calls] Gabriel!</p>
<p>GABRIEL brings him another glass of vodka and a glass of water.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. His misfortunes have almost ruined him, poor man. His
  affairs are in a frightful condition. If Borkin did not take such
  good charge of his estate he and his Jewess would soon be
  starving to death. [She sighs] And what anxiety he has caused us!
  Heaven only knows how we have suffered. Do you realise, my dear,
  that for three years he has owed us nine thousand roubles?</p>
<p>MARTHA. [Horrified] Nine thousand!</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. Yes, that is the sum that my dear Paul has undertaken to
  lend him. He never knows to whom it is safe to lend money and to
  whom it is not. I don't worry about the principal, but he ought
  to pay the interest on his debt.</p>
<p>SASHA. [Hotly] Mamma, you have already discussed this subject at
  least a thousand times!</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. What difference does it make to you? Why should you
  interfere?</p>
<p>SASHA. What is this mania you all have for gossiping about a man
  who has never done any of you any harm? Tell me, what harm has he
  done you?</p>
<p>THIRD GUEST. Let me say two words, Miss Sasha. I esteem Ivanoff,
  and have always found him an honourable man, but, between
  ourselves, I also consider him an adventurer.</p>
<p>SASHA. I congratulate you on your opinion!</p>
<p>THIRD GUEST. In proof of its truth, permit me to present to you
  the following facts, as they were communicated to me by his
  secretary, or shall I say rather, by his factotum, Borkin. Two
  years ago, at the time of the cattle plague, he bought some
  cattle and had them insured--</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. Yes, I remember hearing' of that.</p>
<p>THIRD GUEST. He had them insured, as you understand, and then
  inoculated them with the disease and claimed the insurance.</p>
<p>SASHA. Oh, what nonsense, nonsense, nonsense! No one bought or
  inoculated any cattle! The story was invented by Borkin, who then
  went about boasting of his clever plan. Ivanoff would not forgive
  Borkin for two weeks after he heard of it. He is only guilty of a
  weak character and too great faith in humanity. He can't make up
  his mind to get rid of that Borkin, and so all his possessions
  have been tricked and stolen from him. Every one who has had
  anything to do with Ivanoff has taken advantage of his generosity
  to grow rich.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Sasha, you little firebrand, that will do!</p>
<p>SASHA. Why do you all talk like this? This eternal subject of
  Ivanoff, Ivanoff, and always Ivanoff has grown insufferable, and
  yet you never speak of anything else. [She goes toward the door,
  then stops and comes back] I am surprised, [To the young men] and
  utterly astonished at your patience, young men! How can you sit
  there like that? Aren't you bored? Why, the very air is as dull
  as ditchwater! Do, for heaven's sake say something; try to amuse
  the girls a little, move about! Or if you can't talk of anything
  except Ivanoff, you might laugh or sing or dance---</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] That's right, Sasha! Give them a good
  scolding.</p>
<p>SASHA. Look here, will you do me a favour? If you refuse to dance
  or sing or laugh, if all that is tedious, then let me beg you,
  implore you, to summon all your powers, if only for this once,
  and make one witty or clever remark. Let it be as impertinent and
  malicious as you like, so long as it is funny and original. Won't
  you perform this miracle, just once, to surprise us and make us
  laugh? Or else you might think of some little thing which you
  could all do together, something to make you stir about. Let the
  girls admire you for once in their lives! Listen to me! I suppose
  you want them to like you? Then why don't try to make them do it?
  Oh, dear! There is something wrong with you all! You are a lot of
  sleepy stick-in-the-muds! I have told you so a thousand times and
  shall always go on repeating it; there is something wrong with
  every one of you; something wrong, wrong, wrong!</p>
<p>Enter IVANOFF and SHABELSKI through the door on the right.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Who is making a speech here? Is it you, Sasha? [He
  laughs and shakes hands with her] Many happy returns of the day,
  my dear child. May you live as long as possible in this life, but
  never be born again!</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. [Joyfully] My dear Count!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Who can this be? Not you, Count?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Sees ZINAIDA and MARTHA sitting side by side] Two
  gold mines side by side! What a pleasant picture it makes! [He
  shakes hands with ZINAIDA] Good evening, Zuzu! [Shakes hands with
  MARTHA] Good evening, Birdie!</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. I am charmed to see you, Count. You are a rare visitor
  here now. [Calls] Gabriel, bring some tea! Please sit down.</p>
<p>She gets up and goes to the door and back, evidently much
  preoccupied. SASHA sits down in her former place. IVANOFF
  silently shakes hands with every one.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] What miracle has brought you here? You
  have given us a great surprise. Why, Count, you're a rascal, you
  haven't been treating us right at all. [Leads him forward by the
  hand] Tell me, why don't you ever come to see us now? Are you
  offended?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. How can I get here to see you? Astride a broomstick? I
  have no horses of my own, and Nicholas won't take me with him
  when he goes out. He says I must stay at home to amuse Sarah.
  Send your horses for me and I shall come with pleasure.</p>
<p>LEBE DIEFF. [With a wave of the hand] Oh, that is easy to say!
  But Zuzu would rather have a fit than lend the horses to any one.
  My dear, dear old friend, you are more to me than any one I know!
  You and I are survivors of those good old days that are gone
  forever, and you alone bring back to my mind the love and
  longings of my lost youth. Of course I am only joking, and yet,
  do you know, I am almost in tears?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Stop, stop! You smell like the air of a wine cellar.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Dear friend, you cannot imagine how lonely I am
  without my old companions! I could hang myself! [Whispers] Zuzu
  has frightened all the decent men away with her stingy ways, and
  now we have only this riff-raff, as you see: Tom, Dick, and
  Harry. However, drink your tea.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. [Anxiously, to GABRIEL] Don't bring it in like that! Go
  fetch some jam to eat with it!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Didn't I tell you so ?
  [To LEBEDIEFF] I bet him driving over, that as soon as we arrived
  Zuzu would want to feed us with jam!</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. Still joking, Count! [She sits down.]</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. She made twenty jars of it this year, and how else do
  you expect her to get rid of it?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Sits down near the table] Are you still adding to the
  hoard, Zuzu? You will soon have a million, eh?</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. [Sighing] I know it seems as if no one could be richer
  than we, but where do they think the money comes from? It is all
  gossip.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, we all know that! We know how badly you play
  your cards! Tell me, Paul, honestly, have you saved up a million
  yet?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. I don't know. Ask Zuzu.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [To MARTHA] And my plump little Birdie here will soon
  have a million too! She is getting prettier and plumper not only
  every day, but every hour. That means she has a nice little
  fortune.</p>
<p>MARTHA. Thank you very much, your highness, but I don't like such
  jokes.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. My dear little gold mine, do you call that a joke? It
  was a wail of the soul, a cry from the heart, that burst through
  my lips. My love for you and Zuzu is immense. [Gaily] Oh,
  rapture! Oh, bliss! I cannot look at you two without a madly
  beating heart!</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. You are still the same, Count. [To GEORGE] Put out the
  candles please, George. [GEORGE gives a start. He puts out the
  candles and sits down again] How is your wife, Nicholas?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. She is very ill. The doctor said to-day that she
  certainly had consumption.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. Really? Oh, how sad! [She sighs] And we are all so fond
  of her!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. What trash you all talk! That story was invented by
  that sham doctor, and is nothing but a trick of his. He wants to
  masquerade as an Aesculapius, and so has started this consumption
  theory. Fortunately her husband isn't jealous. [IVANOFF makes an
  inpatient gesture] As for Sarah, I wouldn't trust a word or an
  action of hers. I have made a point all my life of mistrusting
  all doctors, lawyers, and women. They are shammers and deceivers.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] You are an extraordinary person,
  Matthew! You have mounted this misanthropic hobby of yours, and
  you ride it through thick and thin like a lunatic You are a man
  like any other, and yet, from the way you talk one would imagine
  that you had the pip, or a cold in the head.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Would you have me go about kissing every rascal and
  scoundrel I meet?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Where do you find all these rascals and scoundrels?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Of course I am not talking of any one here present,
  nevertheless----</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. There you are again with your &quot;nevertheless.&quot; All this
  is simply a fancy of yours.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. A fancy? It is lucky for you that you have no
  knowledge of the world!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. My knowledge of the world is this: I must sit here
  prepared at any moment to have death come knocking at the door.
  That is my knowledge of the world. At our age, brother, you and I
  can't afford to worry about knowledge of the world. So then-- [He
  calls] Oh, Gabriel!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. You have had quite enough already. Look at your nose.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. No matter, old boy. I am not going to be married
  to-day.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. Doctor Lvoff has not been here for a long time. He seems
  to have forgotten us.</p>
<p>SASHA. That man is one of my aversions. I can't stand his icy
  sense of honour. He can't ask for a glass of water or smoke a
  cigarette without making a display of his remarkable honesty.
  Walking and talking, it is written on his brow: &quot;I am an honest
  man.&quot; He is a great bore.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. He is a narrow-minded, conceited medico. [Angrily] He
  shrieks like a parrot at every step: &quot;Make way for honest
  endeavour!&quot; and thinks himself another St. Francis. Everybody is
  a rascal who doesn't make as much noise as he does. As for his
  penetration, it is simply remarkable! If a peasant is well off
  and lives decently, he sees at once that he must be a thief and a
  scoundrel. If I wear a velvet coat and am dressed by my valet, I
  am a rascal and the valet is my slave. There is no place in this
  world for a man like him. I am actually afraid of him. Yes,
  indeed, he is likely, out of a sense of duty, to insult a man at
  any moment and to call him a knave.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I am dreadfully tired of him, but I can't help liking
  him, too, he is so sincere.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, his sincerity is beautiful! He came up to me
  yesterday evening and remarked absolutely apropos of nothing:
  &quot;Count, I have a deep aversion to you!&quot; It isn't as if he said
  such things simply, but they are extremely pointed. His voice
  trembles, his eyes flash, his veins swell. Confound his infernal
  honesty! Supposing I am disgusting and odious to him? What is
  more natural? I know that I am, but I don't like to be told so to
  my face. I am a worthless old man, but he might have the decency
  to respect my grey hairs. Oh, what stupid, heartless honesty!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Come, come, you have been young yourself, and should
  make allowances for him.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Yes, I have been young and reckless; I have played the
  fool in my day and have seen plenty of knaves and scamps, but I
  have never called a thief a thief to his face, or talked of ropes
  in the house of a man who had been hung. I knew how to behave,
  but this idiotic doctor of yours would think himself in the
  seventh heaven of happiness if fate would allow him to pull my
  nose in public in the name of morality and human ideals.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Young men are all stubborn and restive. I had an uncle
  once who thought himself a philosopher. He would fill his house
  with guests, and after he had had a drink he would get up on a
  chair, like this, and begin: &quot;You ignoramuses! You powers of
  darkness! This is the dawn of a new life!&quot; And so on and so on;
  he would preach and preach---</p>
<p>SASHA. And the guests?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. They would just sit and listen and go on drinking.
  Once, though, I challenged him to a duel, challenged my own
  uncle! It came out of a discussion about Sir Francis Bacon. I was
  sitting, I remember, where Matthew is, and my uncle and the late
  Gerasim Nilitch were standing over there, about where Nicholas is
  now. Well, Gerasim Nilitch propounded this question---</p>
<p>Enter BORKIN. He is dressed like a dandy and carries a parcel
  under his arm. He comes in singing and skipping through the door
  on the right. A murmur of approval is heard.</p>
<p>THE GIRLS. Oh, Michael Borkin!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Misha!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. The soul of the company!</p>
<p>BORKIN. Here we are! [He runs up to SASHA] Most noble Signorina,
  let me be so bold as to wish to the whole world many happy
  returns of the birthday of such an exquisite flower as you! As a
  token of my enthusiasm let me presume to present you with these
  fireworks and this Bengal fire of my own manufacture. [He hands
  her the parcel] May they illuminate the night as brightly as you
  illuminate the shadows of this dark world. [He spreads them out
  theatrically before her.]</p>
<p>SASHA. Thank you.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Why don't you send this
  Judas packing?</p>
<p>BORKIN. [To LEBEDIEFF] My compliments to you, sir. [To IVANOFF]
  How are you, my patron? [Sings] Nicholas voila, hey ho hey! [He
  greets everybody in turn] Most highly honoured Zinaida! Oh,
  glorious Martha! Most ancient Avdotia! Noblest of Counts!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Laughing] The life of the company! The moment he
  comes in the air fe els livelier. Have you noticed it?</p>
<p>BORKIN. Whew! I am tired! I believe I have shaken hands with
  everybody. Well, ladies and gentlemen, haven't you some little
  tidbit to tell me; something spicy? [Speaking quickly to ZINAIDA]
  Oh, aunty! I have something to tell you. As I was on my way
  here-- [To GABRIEL] Some tea, please Gabriel, but without jam--as
  I was on my way here I saw some peasants down on the river-bank
  pulling the bark off the trees. Why don't you lease that meadow?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [To IVANOFF] Why don't you send that Judas away?</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. [Startled] Why, that is quite true! I never thought of
  it.</p>
<p>BORKIN. [Swinging his arms] I can't sit still! What tricks shall we be up to 
  next, aunty? I am all on edge, Martha, absolutely exalted. [He sings]</p>
<blockquote>
  <p> &quot;Once more I stand before thee!&quot;</p>
</blockquote>
<p>ZINAIDA. Think of something to amuse us, Misha, we are all bored.</p>
<p>BORKIN. Yes, you look so. What is the matter with you all? Why
  are you sitting there as solemn as a jury? Come, let us play
  something; what shall it be? Forfeits? Hide-and-seek? Tag? Shall
  we dance, or have the fireworks?</p>
<p>THE GIRLS. [Clapping their hands] The fireworks! The fireworks!
  [They run into the garden.]</p>
<p>SASHA. [ To IVANOFF] What makes you so depressed today?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. My head aches, little Sasha, and then I feel bored.</p>
<p>SASHA. Come into the sitting-room with me.</p>
<p>They go out through the door on the right. All the guests go into
  the garden and ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF are left alone.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. That is what I like to see! A young man like Misha comes
  into the room and in a minute he has everybody laughing. [She
  puts out the large lamp] There is no reason the candles should
  burn for nothing so long as they are all in the garden. [She
  blows out the candles.]</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Following her] We really ought to give our guests
  something to eat, Zuzu!</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. What crowds of candles; no wonder we are thought rich.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Still following her] Do let them have something to
  eat, Zuzu; they are young and must be hungry by now, poor
  things--Zuzu!</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. The Count did not finish his tea, and all that sugar has
  been wasted. [Goes out through the door on the left.]</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Bah! [Goes out into the garden.]</p>
<p>Enter IVANOFF and SASHA through the door on the right.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. This is how it is, Sasha: I used to work hard and think
  hard, and never tire; now, I neither do anything nor think
  anything, and I am weary, body and soul. I feel I am terribly to
  blame, my conscience leaves me no peace day or night, and yet I
  can't see clearly exactly what my mistakes are. And now comes my
  wife's illness, our poverty, this eternal backbiting, gossiping,
  chattering, that foolish Borkin--My home has become unendurable
  to me, and to live there is worse than torture. Frankly, Sasha,
  the presence of my wife, who loves me, has become unbearable. You
  are an old friend, little Sasha, you will not be angry with me
  for speaking so openly. I came to you to be cheered, but I am
  bored here too, something urges me home again. Forgive me, I
  shall slip away at once.</p>
<p>SASHA. I can understand your trouble, Nicholas. You are unhappy
  because you are lonely. You need some one at your side whom you
  can love, someone who understands you.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. What an idea, Sasha! Fancy a crusty old badger like
  myself starting a love affair! Heaven preserve me from such
  misfortune! No, my little sage, this is not a case for romance.
  The fact is, I can endure all I have to suffer: sadness, sickness
  of mind, ruin, the loss of my wife, and my lonely, broken old
  age, but I cannot, I will not, endure the contempt I have for
  myself! I am nearly killed by shame when I think that a strong,
  healthy man like myself has become--oh, heaven only knows
  what--by no means a Manfred or a Hamlet! There are some
  unfortunates who feel flattered when people call them Hamlets and
  cynics, but to me it is an insult. It wounds my pride and I am
  tortured by shame and suffer agony.</p>
<p>SASHA. [Laughing through her tears] Nicholas, let us run away to
  America together!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I haven't the energy to take such a step as that, and
  besides, in America you-- [They go toward the door into the
  garden] As a matter of fact, Sasha, this is not a good place for
  you to live. When I look about at the men who surround you I am
  terrified for you; whom is there you could marry? Your only
  chance will be if some passing lieutenant or student steals your
  heart and carries you away.</p>
<p>Enter ZINAIDA through the door on the right with a jar of jam.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Excuse me, Sasha, I shall join you in a minute.</p>
<p>SASHA goes out into the garden.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [To ZINAIDA] Zinaida, may I ask you a favour?</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. What is it?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. The fact is, you know, that the interest on my note is
  due day after to-morrow, but I should be more than obliged to you
  if you will let me postpone the payment of it, or would let me
  add the interest to the capital. I simply cannot pay it now; I
  haven't the money.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. Oh, Ivanoff, how could I do such a thing? Would it be
  business-like? No, no, don't ask it, don't torment an unfortunate
  old woman.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I beg your pardon. [He goes out into the garden.]</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! What a fright he gave me! I am
  trembling all over. [Goes out through the door on the right.]</p>
<p>Enter KOSICH through the door on the left. He walks across the
  stage.</p>
<p>KOSICH. I had the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the
  ace of spades, and one, just one little heart, and she--may the
  foul fiend fly away with her,--she couldn't make a little slam!</p>
<p>Goes out through the door on the right. Enter from the garden
  AVDOTIA and FIRST GUEST.</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her, the
  miserable old miser! How I should like it! Does she think it a
  joke to leave us sitting here since five o'clock without even
  offering us a crust to eat? What a house! What management!</p>
<p>FIRST GUEST. I am so bored that I feel like beating my head
  against the wall. Lord, what a queer lot of people! I shall soon
  be howling like a wolf and snapping at them from hunger and
  weariness.</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. How I should like to get my claws into her, the old
  sinner!</p>
<p>FIRST GUEST. I shall get a drink, old lady, and then home I go! I
  won't have anything to do with these belles of yours. How the
  devil can a man think of love who hasn't had a drop to drink
  since dinner?</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. Come on, we will go and find something.</p>
<p>FIRST GUEST. Sh! Softly! I think the brandy is in the sideboard
  in the dining-room. We will find George! Sh!</p>
<p>They go out through the door on the left. Enter ANNA and LVOFF
  through the door on the right.</p>
<p>ANNA. No, they will be glad to see us. Is no one here? Then they
  must be in the garden.</p>
<p>LVOFF. I should like to know why you have brought me into this
  den of wolves. This is no place for you and me; honourable people
  should not be subjected to such influences as these.</p>
<p>ANNA. Listen to me, Mr. Honourable Man. When you are escorting a
  lady it is very bad manners to talk to her the whole way about
  nothing but your own honesty. Such behaviour may be perfectly
  honest, but it is also tedious, to say the least. Never tell a
  woman how good you are; let her find it out herself. My Nicholas
  used only to sing and tell stories when he was young as you are,
  and yet every woman knew at once what kind of a man he was.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Don't talk to me of your Nicholas; I know all about him!</p>
<p>ANNA. You are a very worthy man, but you don't know anything at
  all. Come into the garden. He never said: &quot;I am an honest man;
  these surroundings are too narrow for me.&quot; He never spoke of
  wolves' dens, called people bears or vultures. He left the animal
  kingdom alone, and the most I have ever heard him say when he was
  excited was: &quot;Oh, how unjust I have been to-day!&quot; or &quot;Annie, 
  I am
  sorry for that man.&quot; That's what he would say, but you--</p>
<p>ANNA and LVOFF go out. Enter AVDOTIA and FIRST GUEST through the
  door on the left.</p>
<p>FIRST GUEST. There isn't any in the dining-room, so it must be
  somewhere in the pantry. We must find George. Come this way,
  through the sitting-room.</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her!</p>
<p>They go out through the door on the right. MARTHA and BORKIN run
  in laughing from the garden. SHABELSK I comes mincing behind
  them, laughing and rubbing his hands.</p>
<p>MARTHA. Oh, I am so bored! [Laughs loudly] This is deadly! Every
  one looks as if he had swallowed a poker. I am frozen to the
  marrow by this icy dullness. [She skips about] Let us do
  something!</p>
<p>BORKIN catches her by the waist and kisses her cheek.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Laughing and snapping his fingers] Well, I'll be
  hanged! [Cackling] Really, you know!</p>
<p>MARTHA. Let go! Let go, you wretch! What will the Count think?
  Stop, I say!</p>
<p>BORKIN. Angel! Jewel! Lend me twenty-three hundred roubles.</p>
<p>MARTHA. Most certainly not! Do what you please, but I'll thank
  you to leave my money alone. No, no, no! Oh, let go, will you?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Mincing around them] The little birdie has its
  charms! [Seriously] Come, that will do!</p>
<p>BORKIN. Let us come to the point, and consider my proposition
  frankly as a business arrangement. Answer me honestly, without
  tricks and equivocations, do you agree to do it or not? Listen to
  me; [Pointing to Shabelski] he needs money to the amount of at
  least three thousand a year; you need a husband. Do you want to
  be a Countess?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly] Oh, the cynic!</p>
<p>BORKIN. Do you want to be a Countess or not?</p>
<p>MARTHA. [Excitedly] Wait a minute; really, Misha, these things
  aren't done in a second like this. If the Count wants to marry
  me, let him ask me himself, and--and--I don't see, I don't
  understand--all this is so sudden---</p>
<p>BORKIN. Come, don't let us beat about the bush; this is a
  business arrangement. Do you agree or not?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Chuckling and rubbing his hands] Supposing I do marry
  her, eh? Hang it, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick?
  What do you say, little puss? [He kisses her cheek] Dearest
  chick-a-biddy!</p>
<p>MARTHA. Stop! Stop! I hardly know what I am doing. Go away!
  No--don't go!</p>
<p>BORKIN. Answer at once: is it yes or no? We can't stand here
  forever.</p>
<p>MARTHA. Look here, Count, come and visit me for three or four
  days. It is gay at my house, not like this place. Come to-morrow.
  [To BORKIN] Or is this all a joke?</p>
<p>BORKIN. [Angrily] How could I joke on such a serious subject?</p>
<p>MARTHA. Wait! Stop! Oh, I feel faint! A Countess! I am fainting,
  I am falling!</p>
<p>BORKIN and SHABELSKI laugh and catch her by the arms. They kiss
  her cheeks and lead her out through the door on the right.
  IVANOFF and SASHA run in from the garden.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Desperately clutching his head] It can't be true! Don't
  Sasha, don't! Oh, I implore you not to!</p>
<p>SASHA. I love you madly. Without you my life can have no meaning,
  no happiness, no hope.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Why, why do you say that? What do you mean? Little
  Sasha, don't say it!</p>
<p>SASHA. You were the only joy of my childhood; I loved you body
  and soul then, as myself, but now--Oh, I love you, Nicholas! Take
  me with you to the ends of the earth, wherever you wish; but for
  heaven's sake let us go at once, or I shall die.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Shaking with wild laughter] What is this? Is it the
  beginning for me of a new life? Is it, Sasha? Oh, my happiness,
  my joy! [He draws her to him] My freshness, my youth!</p>
<p>Enter ANNA from the garden. She sees her husband and SASHA, and
  stops as if petrified.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Oh, then I shall live once more? And work?</p>
<p>IVANOFF and SASHA kiss each other. After the kiss they look
  around and see ANNA.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [With horror] Sarah!</p>
<p>The curtain falls.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3 align="center">ACT III</h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Library in IVANOFF'S house. On the walls hang maps, pictures, guns, pistols, 
  sickles, whips, etc. A writing-table. On it lie in disorder knick-knacks, papers, 
  books, parcels, and several revolvers. Near the papers stand a lamp, a decanter 
  of vodka, and a plate of salted herrings. Pieces of bread and cucumber are scattered 
  about. SHABELSKI and LEBEDIEFF are sitting at the writing-table. BORKIN is sitting 
  astride a chair in the middle of the room. PETER is standing near the door.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. The policy of France is clear and definite; the French
  know what they want: it is to skin those German sausages, but the
  Germans must sing another song; France is not the only thorn in
  their flesh.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Nonsense! In my opinion the Germans are cowards and
  the French are the same. They are showing their teeth at one
  another, but you can take my word for it, they will not do more
  than that; they'll never fight!</p>
<p>BORKIN. Why should they fight? Why all these congresses, this
  arming and expense? Do you know what I would do in their place? I
  would catch all the dogs in the kingdom and inoculate them with
  Pasteur's serum, then I would let them loose in the enemy's
  country, and the enemies would all go mad in a month.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] His head is small, but the great ideas are
  hidden away in it like fish in the sea!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Oh, he is a genius.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Heaven help you, Misha, you are a funny chap. [He
  stops laughing] But how is this, gentlemen? Here we are talking
  Germany, Germany, and never a word about vodka! Repetatur! [He
  fills three glasses] Here's to you all! [He drinks and eats] This
  herring is the best of all relishes.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. No, no, these cucumbers are better; every wise man
  since the creation of the world has been trying to invent
  something better than a salted cucumber, and not one has
  succeeded. [To PETER] Peter, go and fetch some more cucumbers.
  And Peter, tell the cook to make four little onion pasties, and
  see that we get them hot.</p>
<p>PETER goes out.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Caviar is good with vodka, but it must be prepared
  with skill. Take a quarter of a pound of pressed caviar, two
  little onions, and a little olive oil; mix them together and put
  a slice of lemon on top--so! Lord! The very perfume would drive
  you crazy!</p>
<p>BORKIN. Roast snipe are good too, but they must be cooked right.
  They should first be cleaned, then sprinkled with bread crumbs,
  and roasted until they will crackle between the teeth--crunch,
  crunch!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. We had something good at Martha's yesterday: white
  mushrooms.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. You don't say so!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. And they were especially well prepared, too, with
  onions and bay-leaves and spices, you know. When the dish was
  opened, the odour that floated out was simply intoxicating!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. What do you say, gentlemen? Repetatur! [He drinks]
  Good health to you! [He looks at his watch] I must be going. I
  can't wait for Nicholas. So you say Martha gave you mushrooms? We
  haven't seen one at home. Will you please tell me, Count, what
  plot you are hatching that takes you to Martha's so often?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Nodding at BORKIN] He wants me to marry her.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Wants you to marry her! How old are you?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Sixty-two.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Really, you are just the age to marry, aren't you? And
  Martha is just suited to you!</p>
<p>BORKIN. This is not a question of Martha, but of Martha's money.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Aren't you moonstruck, and don't you want the moon
  too?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Borkin here is quite in earnest about it; the clever
  fellow is sure I shall obey orders, and marry Martha.</p>
<p>BORKIN. What do you mean? Aren't you sure yourself?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Are you mad? I never was sure of anything. Bah!</p>
<p>BORKIN. Many thanks! I am much obliged to you for the
  information. So you are trying to fool me, are you? First you say
  you will marry Martha and then you say you won't; the devil only
  knows which you really mean, but I have given her my word of
  honour that you will. So you have changed your mind, have you?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. He is actually in earnest; what an extraordinary man!</p>
<p>BORKIN. [losing his temper] If that is how you feel about it, why
  have you turned an honest woman's head? Her heart is set on your
  title, and she can neither eat nor sleep for thinking of it. How
  can you make a jest of such things? Do you think such behaviour
  is honourable?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Snapping his fingers] Well, why not play her this
  shabby trick, after all? Eh? Just out of spite? I shall certainly
  do it, upon my word I shall! What a joke it will be!</p>
<p>Enter LVOFF.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. We bow before you, Aesculapius! [He shakes hands with
  LVOFF and sings]</p>
<p> &quot;Doctor, doctor, save, oh, save me,
  I am scared to death of dying!&quot;</p>
<p>LVOFF. Hasn't Ivanoff come home yet?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Not yet. I have been waiting for him myself for over
  an hour.</p>
<p>LVOFF walks impatiently up and down.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. How is Anna to-day?</p>
<p>LVO FF. Very ill.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Sighing] May one go and pay one's respects to her?</p>
<p>LVOFF. No, please don't. She is asleep, I believe.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. She is a lovely, charming woman. [Sighing] The day she
  fainted at our house, on Sasha's birthday, I saw that she had not
  much longer to live, poor thing. Let me see, why did she faint?
  When I ran up, she was lying on the floor, ashy white, with
  Nicholas on his knees beside her, and Sasha was standing by them
  in tears. Sasha and I went about almost crazy for a week after
  that.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [To LVOFF] Tell me, most honoured disciple of science,
  what scholar discovered that the frequent visits of a young
  doctor were beneficial to ladies suffering from affections of the
  chest? It is a remarkable discovery, remarkable! Would you call
  such treatment Allopathic or Homeopathic?</p>
<p>LVOFF tries to answer, but makes an impatient gesture instead,
  and walks out of the room.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. What a withering look he gave me!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Some fiend must prompt you to say such things! Why did
  you offend him?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Angrily] Why does he tell such lies? Consumption! No
  hope! She is dying! It is nonsense, I can't abide him!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. What makes you think he is lying?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Gets up and walks up and down] I can't bear to think
  that a living person could die like that, suddenly, without any
  reason at all. Don't let us talk about it!</p>
<p>KOSICH runs in panting.</p>
<p>KOSICH. Is Ivanoff at home? How do you do? [He shakes hands
  quickly all round] Is he at home?</p>
<p>BORKIN. No, he isn't.</p>
<p>KOSICH. [Sits down and jumps up again] In that case I must say
  goodbye; I must be going. Business, you know. I am absolutely
  exhausted; run off my feet!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Where did you blow in from?</p>
<p>KOSICH. From Barabanoff's. He and I have been playing cards all
  night; we have only just stopped. I have been absolutely fleeced;
  that Barabanoff is a demon at cards. [In a tearful voice] Just
  listen to this: I had a heart and he [He turns to BORKIN, who
  jumps away from him] led a diamond, and I led a heart, and he led
  another diamond. Well, he didn't take the trick. [To LEBEDIEFF]
  We were playing three in clubs. I had the ace and queen, and the
  ace and ten of spades--</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Stopping up his ears] Spare me, for heaven's sake,
  spare me!</p>
<p>KOSICH. [To SHABELSKI] Do you understand? I had the ace and queen
  of clubs, the ace and ten of spades</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Pushes him away] Go away, I don't want to listen to
  you!</p>
<p>KOSICH. When suddenly misfortune overtook me. My ace of spades
  took the first trick--</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Snatching up a revolver] Leave the room, or I shall
  shoot!</p>
<p>KOSICH. [Waving his hands] What does this mean? Is this the
  Australian bush, where no one has any interests in common? Where
  there is no public spirit, and each man lives for himself alone?
  However, I must be off. My time is precious. [He shakes hands
  with LEBEDIEFF] Pass!</p>
<p>General laughter. KOSICH goes out. In the doorway he runs into
  AVDOTIA.</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. [Shrieks] Bad luck to you, you nearly knocked me down.</p>
<p>ALL. Oh, she is always everywhere at once!</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. So this is where you all are? I have been looking for
  you all over the house. Good-day to you, boys!</p>
<p>[She shakes hands with everybody.]</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. What brings you here?</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. Business, my son. [To SHABELSKI] Business connected with
  your highness. She commanded me to bow. [She bows] And to inquire
  after your health. She told me to say, the little birdie, that if
  you did not come to see her this evening she would cry her eyes
  out. Take him aside, she said, and whisper in his ear. But why
  should I make a secret of her message? We are not stealing
  chickens, but arranging an affair of lawful love by mutual
  consent of both parties. And now, although I never drink, I shall
  take a drop under these circumstances.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. So shall I. [He pours out the vodka] You must be
  immortal, you old magpie! You were an old woman when I first knew
  you, thirty years ago.</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. I have lost count of the years. I have buried three
  husbands, and would have married a fourth if any one had wanted a
  woman without a dowry. I have had eight children. [She takes up
  the glass] Well, we have begun a good work, may it come to a good
  end! They will live happily ever after, and we shall enjoy their
  happiness. Love and good luck to them both! [She drinks] This is
  strong vodka!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [laughing loudly, to LEBEDIEFF] The funny thing is,
  they actually think I am in earnest. How strange! [He gets up]
  And yet, Paul, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? Just
  out of spite? To give the devil something to do, eh, Paul?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. You are talking nonsense, Count. You and I must fix
  our thoughts on dying now; we have left Martha's money far behind
  us; our day is over.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. No, I shall certainly marry her; upon my word, I
  shall!</p>
<p>Enter IVANOFF and LVOFF.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Will you please spare me five minutes of your time?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Nicholas! [He goes to meet IVANOFF] How are
  you, old friend? I have been waiting an hour for you.</p>
<p>AVDOTIA. [Bows] How do you do, my son?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Bitterly] So you have turned my library into a bar-room
  again, have you? And yet I have begged you all a thousand times
  not to do so! [He goes up to the table] There, you see, you have
  spilt vodka all over my papers and scattered crumbs and cucumbers
  everywhere! It is disgusting!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. I beg your pardon, Nicholas. Please forgive me. I have
  something very important to speak to you about.</p>
<p>BORKIN. So have I.</p>
<p>LVOFF. May I have a word with you?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Pointing to LEBEDIEFF] He wants to speak to me; wait a
  minute. [To LEBEDIEFF] Well, what is it?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [To the others] Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I
  want to speak to him in private.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI goes out, followed by AVDOTIA, BORKIN, and LVOFF.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Paul, you may drink yourself as much as you choose, it
  is your weakness, but I must ask you not to make my uncle tipsy.
  He never used to drink at all; it is bad for him.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Startled] My dear boy, I didn't know that! I wasn't
  thinking of him at all.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. If this old baby should die on my hands the blame would
  be mine, not yours. Now, what do you want? [A pause.]</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. The fact is, Nicholas--I really don't know how I can
  put it to make it seem less brutal--Nicholas, I am ashamed of
  myself, I am blushing, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
  My dear boy, put yourself in my place; remember that I am not a
  free man, I am as putty in the hands of my wife, a slave--forgive
  me!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. What does this mean?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. My wife has sent me to you; do me a favour, be a
  friend to me, pay her the interest on the money you owe her.
  Believe me, she has been tormenting me and going for me tooth and
  nail. For heaven's sake, free yourself from her clutches!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. You know, Paul, that I have no money now.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. I know, I know, but what can I do? She won't wait. If
  she should sue you for the money, how could Sasha and I ever look
  you in the face again?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I am ready to sink through the floor with shame, Paul,
  but where, where shall I get the money? Tell me, where? There is
  nothing I can do but to wait until I sell my wheat in the autumn.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Shrieks] But she won't wait! [A pause.]</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Your position is very delicate and unpleasant, but mine
  is even worse. [He walks up and down in deep thought] I am at my
  wit's end, there is nothing I can sell now.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. You might go to Mulbach and get some money from him;
  doesn't he owe you sixty thousand roubles?</p>
<p>IVANOFF makes a despairing gesture.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas, I know you will be angry, but
  you must forgive an old drunkard like me. This is between
  friends; remember I am your friend. We were students together,
  both Liberals; we had the same interests and ideals; we studied
  together at the University of Moscow. It is our Alma Mater. [He
  takes out his purse] I have a private fund here; not a soul at
  home knows of its existence. Let me lend it to you. [He takes out
  the money and lays it on the table] Forget your pride; this is
  between friends! I should take it from you, indeed I should! [A
  pause] There is the money, one hundred thousand roubles. Take 
  it;
  go to her y ourself and say: &quot;Take the money, Zinaida, and may
  you choke on it.&quot; Only, for heaven's sake, don't let her see by
  your manner that you got it from me, or she would certainly go
  for me, with her old jam! [He looks intently into IVANOFF'S face]
  There, there, no matter. [He quickly takes up the money and
  stuffs it back into his pocket] Don't take it, I was only joking.
  Forgive me! Are you hurt?</p>
<p>IVANOFF waves his hand.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Yes, the truth is-- [He sighs] This is a time of
  sorrow and pain for you. A man, brother, is like a samovar; he
  cannot always stand coolly on a shelf; hot coals will be dropped
  into him some day, and then--fizz! The comparison is idiotic, but
  it is the best I can think of. [Sighing] Misfortunes wring the
  soul, and yet I am not worried about you, brother. Wheat goes
  through the mill, and comes out as flour, and you will come
  safely through your troubles; but I am annoyed, Nicholas, and
  angry with the people around you. The whole countryside is
  buzzing with gossip; where does it all start? They say you will
  be soon arrested for your debts, that you are a bloodthirsty
  murderer, a monster of cruelty, a robber.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. All that is nothing to me; my head is aching.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Because you think so much.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I never think.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Come, Nicholas, snap your fingers at the whole thing,
  and drive over to visit us. Sasha loves and understands you. She
  is a sweet, honest, lovely girl; too good to be the child of her
  mother and me! Sometimes, when I look at her, I cannot believe
  that such a treasure could belong to a fat old drunkard like me.
  Go to her, talk to her, and let her cheer you. She is a good,
  true-hearted girl.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Paul, my dear friend, please go, and leave me alone.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. I understand, I understand! [He glances at his watch]
  Yes, I understand. [He kisses IVANOFF] Good-bye, I must go to the
  blessing of the school now. [He goes as far as the door, then
  stops] She is so clever! Sasha and I were talking about gossiping
  yesterday, and she flashed out this epigram: &quot;Father,&quot; she said,
  &quot;fire-flies shine at night so that the night-birds may make them
  their prey, and good people are made to be preyed upon by gossips
  and slanderers.&quot; What do you think of that? She is a genius,
  another George Sand!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Stopping him as he goes out] Paul, what is the matter
  with me?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. I have wanted to ask you that myself, but I must
  confess I was ashamed to. I don't know, old chap. Sometimes I
  think your troubles have been too heavy for you, and yet I know
  you are not the kind to give in to them; you would not be
  overcome by misfortune. It must be something else, Nicholas, but
  what it may be I can't imagine.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I can't imagine either what the matter is, unless--and
  yet no-- [A pause] Well, do you see, this is what I wanted to
  say. I used to have a workman called Simon, you remember him.
  Once, at threshing-time, to show the girls how strong he was, he
  loaded himself with two sacks of rye, and broke his back. He died
  soon after. I think I have broken my back also. First I went to
  school, then to the university, then came the cares of this
  estate, all my plans--I did not believe what others did; did not
  marry as others did; I worked passionately, risked everything; no
  one else, as you know, threw their money away to right and left
  as I did. So I heaped the burdens on my back, and it broke. We
  are all heroes at twenty, ready to attack anything, to do
  everything, and at thirty are worn-out, useless men. How, oh, how
  do you account for this weariness? However, I may be quite wrong;
  go away, Paul, I am boring you.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. I know what is the matter with you, old man: you got
  out of bed on the wrong side this morning.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. That is stupid, Paul, and stale. Go away!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. It is stupid, certainly. I see that myself now. I am
  going at once. [LEBEDIEFF goes out.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Alone] I am a worthless, miserable, useless man. Only a
  man equally miserable and suffering, as Paul is, could love or
  esteem me now. Good God! How I loathe myself! How bitterly I hate
  my voice, my hands, my thoughts, these clothes, each step I take!
  How ridiculous it is, how disgusting! Less than a year ago I was
  healthy and strong, full of pride and energy and enthusiasm. I
  worked with these hands here, and my words could move the dullest
  man to tears. I could weep with sorrow, and grow indignant at the
  sight of wrong. I could feel the glow of inspiration, and
  understand the beauty and romance of the silent nights which I
  used to watch through from evening until dawn, sitting at my
  worktable, and giving up my soul to dreams. I believed in a
  bright future then, and looked into it as trustfully as a child
  looks into its mother's eyes. And now, oh, it is terrible! I am
  tired and without hope; I spend my days and nights in idleness; I
  have no control over my feet or brain. My estate is ruined, my
  woods are falling under the blows of the axe. [He weeps] My
  neglected land looks up at me as reproachfully as an orphan. I
  expect nothing, am sorry for nothing; my whole soul trembles at
  the thought of each new day. And what can I think of my treatment
  of Sarah? I promised her love and happiness forever; I opened her
  eyes to the promise of a future such as she had never even
  dreamed of. She believed me, and though for five years I have
  seen her sinking under the weight of her sacrifices to me, and
  losing her strength in her struggles with her conscience, God
  knows she has never given me one angry look, or uttered one word
  of reproach. What is the result? That I don't love her! Why? Is
  it possible? Can it be true? I can't understand. She is
  suffering; her days are numbered; yet I fly like a contemptible
  coward from her white face, her sunken chest, her pleading eyes.
  Oh, I am ashamed, ashamed! [A pause] Sasha, a young girl, is
  sorry for me in my misery. She confesses to me that she loves me;
  me, almost an old man! Whereupon I lose my head, and exalted as
  if by music, I yell: &quot;Hurrah for a new life and new happiness!&quot;
  Next day I believe in this new life and happiness as little as I
  believe in my happiness at home. What is the matter with me? What
  is this pit I am wallowing in? What is the cause of this
  weakness? What does this nervousness come from? If my sick wife
  wounds my pride, if a servant makes a mistake, if my gun misses
  fire, I lose my temper and get violent and altogether unlike
  myself. I can't, I can't understand it; the easiest way out would
  be a bullet through the head!</p>
<p>Enter LVOFF.</p>
<p>LVOFF. I must have an explanation with you, Ivanoff.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. If we are going to have an explanation every day,
  doctor, we shall neither of us have the strength to stand it.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Will you be good enough to hear me?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I have heard all you have told me every day, and have
  failed to discover yet what you want me to do.</p>
<p>LVOFF. I have always spoken plainly enough, and only an utterly
  heartless and cruel man could fail to understand me.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I know that my wife is dying; I know that I have sinned
  irreparably; I know that you are an honest man. What more can you
  tell me?</p>
<p>LVOFF. The sight of human cruelty maddens me. The woman is dying
  and she has a mother and father whom she loves, and longs to see
  once more before she dies. They know that she is dying and that
  she loves them still, but with diabolical cruelty, as if to
  flaunt their religious zeal, they refuse to see her and forgive
  her. You are the man for whom she has sacrificed her home, her
  peace of mind, everything. Yet you unblushingly go gadding to the
  Lebedieffs' every evening, for reasons that are absolutely
  unmistakable!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Ah me, it is two weeks since I was there!</p>
<p>LVOFF. [Not listening to him] To men like yourself one must speak
  plainly, and if you don't want to hear what I have to say, you
  need not listen. I always call a spade a spade; the truth is, you
  want her to die so that the way may be cleared for your other
  schemes. Be it so; but can't you wait? If, instead of crushing
  the life out of your wife by your heartless egoism, you let her
  die naturally, do you think you would lose Sasha and Sasha's
  money? Such an absolute Tartuffe as you are could turn the girl's
  head and get her money a year from now as easily as you can
  to-day. Why are you in such a hurry? Why do you want your wife to
  die now, instead of in a month's time, or a year's?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. This is torture! You are a very bad doctor if you think
  a man can control himself forever. It is all I can do not to
  answer your insults.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Look here, whom are you trying to deceive? Throw off this
  disguise!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. You who are so clever, you think that nothing in the
  world is easier than to understand me, do you? I married Annie
  for her money, did I? And when her parents wouldn't give it to
  me, I changed my plans, and am now hustling her out of the world
  so that I may marry another woman, who will bring me what I want?
  You think so, do you? Oh, how easy and simple it all is! But you
  are mistaken, doctor; in each one of us there are too many
  springs, too many wheels and cogs for us to judge each other by
  first impressions or by two or three external indications. I can
  not understand you, you cannot understand me, and neither of us
  can understand himself. A man may be a splendid doctor, and at
  the same time a very bad judge of human nature; you will admit
  that, unless you are too self-confident.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Do you really think that your character is so mysterious,
  and that I am too stupid to tell vice from virtue?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. It is clear that we shall never agree, so let me beg you
  to answer me now without any more preamble: exactly what do you
  want me to do? [Angrily] What are you after anyway? And with whom
  have I the honour of speaking? With my lawyer, or with my wife's
  doctor?</p>
<p>LVOFF. I am a doctor, and as such I demand that you change your
  conduct toward your wife; it is killing her.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. What shall I do? Tell me! If you understand me so much
  better than I understand myself, for heaven's sake tell me
  exactly what to do!</p>
<p>LVOFF. In the first place, don't be so unguarded in your
  behaviour.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Heaven help me, do you mean to say that you understand
  yourself? [He drinks some water] Now go away; I am guilty a
  thousand times over; I shall answer for my sins before God; but
  nothing has given you the right to torture me daily as you do.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Who has given you the right to insult my sense of honour?
  You have maddened and poisoned my soul. Before I came to this
  place I knew that stupid, crazy, deluded people existed, but I
  never imagined that any one could be so criminal as to turn his
  mind deliberately in the direction of wickedness. I loved and
  esteemed humanity then, but since I have known you--</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I have heard all that before.</p>
<p>LVOFF. You have, have you?</p>
<p>He goes out, shrugging his shoulders. He sees SASHA, who comes in
  at this moment dressed for riding.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Now, however, I hope that we can understand one another!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Startled] Oh, Sasha, is that you?</p>
<p>SASHA. Yes, it is I. How are you? You didn't expect me, did you?
  Why haven't you been to see us?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Sasha, this is really imprudent of you! Your coming will
  have a terrible effect on my wife!</p>
<p>SASHA. She won't see me; I came in by the back entrance; I shall
  go in a minute. I am so anxious about you. Tell me, are you well?
  Why haven't you been to see us for such a long time?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. My wife is offended already, and almost dying, and now
  you come here; Sasha, Sasha, this is thoughtless and unkind of
  you.</p>
<p>SASHA. How could I help coming? It is two weeks since you were at
  our house, and you have not answered my letters. I imagined you
  suffering dreadfully, or ill, or dead. I have not slept for
  nights. I am going now, but first tell me that you are well.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. No, I am not well. I am a torment to myself, and every
  one torments me without end. I can't stand it! And now you come
  here. How morbid and unnatural it all is, Sasha. I am terribly
  guilty.</p>
<p>SASHA. What dreadful, pitiful speeches you make! So you are
  guilty, are you? Tell me, then, what is it you have done?</p>
<p>IVANOFF I don't know; I don't know!</p>
<p>SASHA. That is no answer. Every sinner should know what he is
  guilty of. Perhaps you have been forging money?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. That is stupid.</p>
<p>SASHA. Or are you guilty because you no longer love your wife?
  Perhaps you are, but no one is master of his feelings, and you
  did not mean to stop loving her. Do you feel guilty because she
  saw me telling you that I love you? No, that cannot be, because
  you did not want her to see it--</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Interrupting her] And so on, and so on! First you say I
  love, and then you say I don't; that I am not master of my
  feelings. All these are commonplace, worn-out sentiments, with
  which you cannot help me.</p>
<p>SASHA. It is impossible to talk to you. [She looks at a picture
  on the wall] How well those dogs are drawn! Were they done from
  life?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Yes, from life. And this whole romance of ours is a
  tedious old story; a man loses heart and begins to go down in the
  world; a girl appears, brave and strong of heart, and gives him a
  hand to help him to rise again. Such situations are pretty, but
  they are only found in novels and not in real life.</p>
<p>SASHA. No, they are found in real life too.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Now I see how well you understand real life! My
  sufferings seem noble to you; you imagine you have discovered in
  me a second Hamlet; but my state of mind in all its phases is
  only fit to furnish food for contempt and derision. My
  contortions are ridiculous enough to make any one die of
  laughter, and you want to play the guardian angel; you want to do
  a noble deed and save me. Oh, how I hate myself to-day! I feel
  that this tension must soon be relieved in some way. Either I
  shall break something, or else--</p>
<p>SASHA. That is exactly what you need. Let yourself go! Smash
  something; break it to pieces; give a yell! You are angry with
  me, it was foolish of me to come here. Very well, then, get
  excited about it; storm at me; stamp your feet! Well, aren't you
  getting angry?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. You ridiculous girl!</p>
<p>SASHA. Splendid! So we are smiling at last! Be kind, do me the
  favour of smiling once more!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Laughing] I have noticed that whenever you start
  reforming me and saving my soul, and teaching me how to be good,
  your face grows naive, oh so naive, and your eyes grow as wide as
  if you were looking at a comet. Wait a moment; your shoulder is
  covered with dust. [He brushes her shoulder] A naive man is
  nothing better than a fool, but you women contrive to be naive in
  such a way that in you it seems sweet, and gentle, and proper,
  and not as silly as it really is. What a strange way you have,
  though, of ignoring a man as long as he is well and happy, and
  fastening yourselves to him as soon as he begins to whine and go
  down-hill! Do you actually think it is worse to be the wife of a
  strong man than to nurse some whimpering invalid?</p>
<p>SASHA. Yes, it is worse.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Why do you think so? [Laughing loudly] It is a good
  thing Darwin can't hear what you are saying! He would be furious
  with you for degrading the human race. Soon, thanks to your
  kindness, only invalids and hypochondriacs will be born into the
  world.</p>
<p>SASHA. There are a great many things a man cannot understand. Any
  girl would rather love an unfortunate man than a fortunate one,
  because every girl would like to do something by loving. A man
  has his work to do, and so for him love is kept in the
  background. To talk to his wife, to walk with her in the garden,
  to pass the time pleasantly with her, that is all that love means
  to a man. But for us, love means life. I love you; that means
  that I dream only of how I shall cure you of your sadness, how I
  shall go with you to the ends of the earth. If you are in heaven,
  I am in heaven; if you are in the pit, I am in the pit. For
  instance, it would be the greatest happiness for me to write all
  night for you, or to watch all night that no one should wake you.
  I remember that three years ago, at threshing time, you came to
  us all dusty and sunburnt and tired, and asked for a drink. When
  I brought you a glass of water you were already lying on the sofa
  and sleeping like a dead man. You slept there for half a day, and
  all that time I watched by the door that no one should disturb
  you. How happy I was! The more a girl can do, the greater her
  love will be; that is,
  I mean, the more she feels it</p>
<p>IVANOFF. The love that accomplishes things--hm--that is a fairy
  tale, a girl's dream; and yet, perhaps it is as it should be. [He
  shrugs his shoulders] How can I tell? [Gaily] On my honour,
  Sasha, I really am quite a respectable man. Judge for yourself: I
  have always liked to discuss things, but I have never in my life
  said that our women were corrupt, or that such and such a woman
  was on the down-hill path. I have always been grateful, and
  nothing more. No, nothing more. Dear child, how comical you are!
  And what a ridiculous old stupid I am! I shock all good Christian
  folk, and go about complaining from morning to night. [He laughs
  and then leaves her suddenly] But you must go, Sasha; we have
  forgotten ourselves.</p>
<p>SASHA. Yes, it is time to go. Good-bye. I am afraid that that
  honest doctor of yours will have told Anna out of a sense of duty
  that I am here. Take my advice: go at once to your wife and stay
  with her. Stay, and stay, and stay, and if it should be for a
  year, you must still stay, or for ten years. It is your duty. You
  must repent, and ask her forgiveness, and weep. That is what you
  ought to do, and the great thing is not to forget to do right.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Again I feel as if I were going crazy; again!</p>
<p>SASHA. Well, heaven help you! You must forget me entirely. In two
  weeks you must send me a line and I shall be content with that.
  But I shall write to you--</p>
<p>BORKIN looks in at the door.</p>
<p>BORKIN. Ivanoff, may I come in? [He sees SASHA] I beg your
  pardon, I did not see you. Bonjour! [He bows.]</p>
<p>SASHA. [Embarrassed] How do you do?</p>
<p>BORKIN. You are plumper and prettier than ever.</p>
<p>SASHA. [To IVANOFF] I must go, Nicholas, I must go. [She goes
  out.]</p>
<p>BORKIN. What a beautiful apparition! I came expecting prose and
  found poetry instead. [Sings]</p>
<p>&quot;You showed yourself to the world as a bird---&quot;</p>
<p>IVANOFF walks excitedly up and down.</p>
<p>BORKIN. [Sits down] There is something in her, Nicholas, that one
  doesn't find in other women, isn't there? An elfin strangeness.
  [He sighs] Although she is without doubt the richest girl in the
  country, her mother is so stingy that no one will have her. After
  her mother's death Sasha will have the whole fortune, but until
  then she will only give her ten thousand roubles and an old
  flat-iron, and to get that she will have to humble herself to the
  ground. [He feels in his pockets] Will you have a smoke? [He
  offers IVANOFF his cigarette case] These are very good.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Comes toward BORKIN stifled with rage] Leave my house
  this instant, and don't you ever dare to set foot in it again! Go
  this instant!</p>
<p>BORKIN gets up and drops his cigarette.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Go at once!</p>
<p>BORKIN. Nicholas, what do you mean? Why are you so angry?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Why! Where did you get those cigarettes? Where? You
  think perhaps that I don't know where you take the old man every
  day, and for what purpose?</p>
<p>BORKIN. [Shrugs his shoulders] What business is it of yours?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. You blackguard, you! The disgraceful rumours that you
  have been spreading about me have made me disreputable in the
  eyes of the whole countryside. You and I have nothing in common,
  and I ask you to leave my house this instant.</p>
<p>BORKIN. I know that you are saying all this in a moment of
  irritation, and so I am not angry with you. Insult me as much as
  you please. [He picks up his cigarette] It is time though, to
  shake off this melancholy of yours; you're not a schoolboy.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. What did I tell you? [Shuddering] Are you making fun of
  me?</p>
<p>Enter ANNA.</p>
<p>BORKIN. There now, there comes Anna! I shall go.</p>
<p>IVANOFF stops near the table and stands with his head bowed.</p>
<p>ANNA. [After a pause] What did she come here for? What did she
  come here for, I ask you?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Don't ask me, Annie. [A pause] I am terribly guilty.
  Think of any punishment you want to inflict on me; I can stand
  anything, but don't, oh, don't ask questions!</p>
<p>ANNA. [Angrily] So that is the sort of man you are? Now I
  understand you, and can see how degraded, how dishonourable you
  are! Do you remember that you came to me once and lied to me
  about your love? I believed you, and left my mother, my father,
  and my faith to follow you. Yes, you lied to me of goodness and
  honour, of your noble aspirations and I believed every word---</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I have never lied to you, Annie.</p>
<p>ANNA. I have lived with you five years now, and I am tired and
  ill, but I have always loved you and have never left you for a
  moment. You have been my idol, and what have you done? All this
  time you have been deceiving me in the most dastardly way---</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Annie, don't say what isn't so. I have made mistakes,
  but I have never told a lie in my life. You dare not accuse me of
  that!</p>
<p>ANNA. It is all clear to me now. You married me because you
  expected my mother and father to forgive me and give you my
  money; that is what you expected.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Good Lord, Annie! If I must suffer like this, I must
  have the patience to bear it. [He begins to weep.]</p>
<p>ANNA. Be quiet! When you found that I wasn't bringing you any
  money, you tried another game. Now I remember and understand
  everything. [She begins to cry] You have never loved me or been
  faithful to me--never!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Sarah! That is a lie! Say what you want, but don't
  insult me with a lie!</p>
<p>ANNA. You dishonest, degraded man! You owe money to Lebedieff,
  and now, to escape paying your debts, you are trying to turn the
  head of his daughter and betray her as you have betrayed me. Can
  you deny it?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Stifled with rage] For heaven's sake, be quiet! I can't
  answer for what I may do! I am choking with rage and I--I might
  insult you!</p>
<p>ANNA. I am not the only one whom you have basely deceived. You
  have always blamed Borkin for all your dishonest tricks, but now
  I know whose they are.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Sarah, stop at once and go away, or else I shall say
  something terrible. I long to say a dreadful, cruel thing [He
  shrieks] Hold your tongue, Jewess!</p>
<p>ANNA. I won't hold my tongue! You have deceived me too long for
  me to be silent now.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. So you won't be quiet? [He struggles with himself] Go,
  for heaven's sake!</p>
<p>ANNA. Go now, and betray Sasha!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Know then that you--are dying! The doctor told me that
  you are dying.</p>
<p>ANNA. [Sits down and speaks in a low voice] When did he</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Clutches his head with both hands] Oh, how guilty I
  am--how guilty! [He sobs.]</p>
<p>The curtain falls.</p>
<p>About a year passes between the third and fourth acts.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h3 align="center">ACT IV</h3>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>A sitting-room in LEBEDIEFF'S house. In the middle of the wall at the back 
  of the room is an arch dividing the sitting-room from the ballroom. To the right 
  and left are doors. Some old bronzes are placed about the room; family portraits 
  are hanging on the walls. Everything is arranged as if for some festivity. On 
  the piano lies a violin; near it stands a violoncello. During the entire act 
  guests, dressed as for a ball, are seen walking about in the ball-room. </p>
<p>Enter LVOFF, looking at his watch.</p>
<p>LVOFF. It is five o'clock. The ceremony must have begun. First
  the priest will bless them, and then they will be led to the
  church to be married. Is this how virtue and justice triumph? Not
  being able to rob Sarah, he has tortured her to death; and now he
  has found another victim whom he will deceive until he has robbed
  her, and then he will get rid of her as he got rid of poor Sarah.
  It is the same old sordid story. [A pause] He will live to a fine
  old age in the seventh heaven of happiness, and will die with a
  clear conscience. No, Ivanoff, it shall not be! I shall drag your
  villainy to light! And when I tear off that accursed mask of
  yours and show you to the world as the blackguard you are, you
  shall come plunging down headfirst from your seventh heaven, into
  a pit so deep that the devil himself will not be able to drag you
  out of it! I am a man of honour; it is my duty to interfere in
  such cases as yours, and to open the eyes of the blind. I shall
  fulfil my mission, and to-morrow will find me far away from this
  accursed place. [Thoughtfully] But what shall I do? To have an
  explanation with Lebedieff would be a hopeless task. Shall I make
  a scandal, and challenge Ivanoff to a duel? I am as excited as a
  child, and have entirely lost th e power of planning anything.
  What shall I do? Shall I fight a duel?</p>
<p>Enter KOSICH. He goes gaily up to LVOFF.</p>
<p>KOSICH. I declared a little slam in clubs yesterday, and made a
  grand slam! Only that man Barabanoff spoilt the whole game for me
  again. We were playing--well, I said &quot;No trumps&quot; and he said
  &quot;Pass.&quot; &quot;Two in clubs,&quot; he passed again. I made it two in 
  hearts.
  He said &quot;Three in clubs,&quot; and just imagine, can you, what
  happened? I declared a little slam and he never showed his ace!
  If he had showed his ace, the villain, I should have declared a
  grand slam in no trumps!</p>
<p>LVOFF. Excuse me, I don't play cards, and so it is impossible for
  me to share your enthusiasm. When does the ceremony begin?</p>
<p>KOSICH. At once, I think. They are now bringing Zuzu to herself
  again. She is bellowing like a bull; she can't bear to see the
  money go.</p>
<p>LVOFF. And what about the daughter?</p>
<p>KOSICH. No, it is the money. She doesn't like this affair anyway.
  He is marrying her daughter, and that means he won't pay his
  debts for a long time. One can't sue one's son-in-law.</p>
<p>MARTHA, very much dressed up, struts across the stage past LVOFF
  and KOSICH. The latter bursts out laughing behind his hand.
  MARTHA looks around.</p>
<p>MARTHA. Idiot!</p>
<p>KOSICH digs her in the ribs and laughs loudly.</p>
<p>MARTHA. Boor!</p>
<p>KOSICH. [Laughing] The woman's head has been turned. Before she
  fixed her eye on a title she was like any other woman, but there
  is no coming near her now! [Angrily] A boor, indeed!</p>
<p>LVOFF. [Excitedly] Listen to me; tell me honestly, what do you
  think of Ivanoff?</p>
<p>KOSICH. He's no good at all. He plays cards like a lunatic. This
  is what happened last year during Lent: I, the Count, Borkin and
  he, sat down to a game of cards. I led a---</p>
<p>LVOFF [Interrupting him] Is he a good man?</p>
<p>KOSICH. He? Yes, he's a good one! He and the Count are a pair of
  trumps. They have keen noses for a good game. First, Ivanoff set
  his heart on the Jewess, then, when his schemes failed in that
  quarter, he turned his thoughts toward Zuzu's money-bags. I'll
  wager you he'll ruin Zuzu in a year. He will ruin Zuzu, and the
  Count will ruin Martha. They will gather up all the money they
  can lay hands on, and live happily ever after! But, doctor, why
  are you so pale to-day? You look like a ghost.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Oh, it's nothing. I drank a little too much yesterday.</p>
<p>Enter LEBEDIEFF with SASHA.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. We can have our talk here. [To LVOFF and KOSICH] Go
  into the ball-room, you two old fogies, and talk to the girls.
  Sasha and I want to talk alone here.</p>
<p>KOSICH. [Snapping his fingers enthusiastically as he goes by
  SASHA] What a picture! A queen of trumps!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Go along, you old cave-dweller; go along.</p>
<p>KOSICH and LVOFF go out.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Sit down, Sasha, there-- [He sits down and looks about
  him] Listen to me attentively and with proper respect. The fact
  is, your mother has asked me to say this, do you understand? I am
  not speaking for myself. Your mother told me to speak to you.</p>
<p>SASHA. Papa, do say it briefly!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. When you are married we mean to give you fifteen
  thousand roubles. Please don't let us have any discussion about
  it afterward. Wait, now! Be quiet! That is only the beginning.
  The best is yet to come. We have allotted you fifteen thousand
  roubles, but in consideration of the fact that Nicholas owes your
  mother nine thousand, that sum will have to be deducted from the
  amount we mean to give you. Very well. Now, beside that---</p>
<p>SASHA. Why do you tell me all this?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Your mother told me to.</p>
<p>SASHA. Leave me in peace! If you had any respect for yourself or
  me you could not permit yourself to speak to me in this way. I
  don't want your money! I have not asked for it, and never shall.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. What are you attacking me for? The two rats in Gogol's
  fable sniffed first and then ran away, but you attack without
  even sniffing.</p>
<p>SASHA. Leave me in peace, and do not offend my ears with your
  two-penny calculations.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Losing his temper] Bah! You all, every one of you, do
  all you can to make me cut my throat or kill somebody. One of you
  screeches and fusses all day and counts every penny, and the
  other is so clever and humane and emancipated that she cannot
  understand her own father! I offend your ears, do I? Don't you
  realise that before I came here to offend your ears I was being
  torn to pieces over there, [He points to the door] literally
  drawn and quartered? So you cannot understand? You two have
  addled my brain till I am utterly at my wits' end; indeed I am!
  [He goes toward the door, and stops] I don't like this business
  at all; I don't like any thing about you--</p>
<p>SASHA. What is it, especially, that you don't like?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Everything, everything!</p>
<p>SASHA. What do you mean by everything?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Let me explain exactly what I mean. Everything
  displeases me. As for your marriage, I simply can't abide it. [He
  goes up to SASHA and speaks caressingly] Forgive me, little
  Sasha, this marriage may be a wise one; it may be honest and not
  misguided, nevertheless, there is something about the whole
  affair that is not right; no, not right! You are not marrying as
  other girls do; you are young and fresh and pure as a drop of
  water, and he is a widower, battered and worn. Heaven help him. I
  don't understand him at all. [He kisses his daughter] Forgive me
  for saying so, Sasha, but I am sure there is something crooked
  about this affair; it is making a great deal of talk. It seems
  people are saying that first Sarah died, and then suddenly
  Ivanoff wanted to marry you. [Quickly] But, no, I am like an old
  woman; I am gossiping like a magpie. You must not listen to me or
  any one, only to your own heart.</p>
<p>SASHA. Papa, I feel myself that there is something wrong about my
  marriage. Something wrong, yes, wrong! Oh, if you only knew how
  heavy my heart is; this is unbearable! I am frightened and
  ashamed to confess this; Papa darling, you must help me, for
  heaven's sake. Oh, can't you tell me what I should do?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. What is the matter, Sasha, what is it?</p>
<p>SASHA. I am so frightened, more frightened than I have ever been
  before. [She glances around her] I cannot understand him now, and
  I never shall. He has not smiled or looked straight into my eyes
  once since we have been engaged. He is forever complaining and
  apologising for something; hinting at some crime he is guilty of,
  and trembling. I am so tired! There are even moments when I
  think--I think--that I do not love him as I should, and when he
  comes to see us, or talks to me, I get so tired! What does it
  mean, dear father? I am afraid.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. My darling, my only child, do as your old father
  advises you; give him up!</p>
<p>SASHA. [Frightened] Oh! How can you say that?</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Yes, do it, little Sasha! It will make a scandal, all
  the tongues in the country will be wagging about it, but it is
  better to live down a scandal than to ruin one's life.</p>
<p>SASHA. Don't say that, father. Oh, don't. I refuse to listen! I
  must crush such gloomy thoughts. He is good and unhappy and
  misunderstood. I shall love him and learn to understand him. I
  shall set him on his feet again. I shall do my duty. That is
  settled.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. This is not your duty, but a delusion--</p>
<p>SASHA. We have said enough. I have confessed things to you that I
  have not dared to admit even to myself. Don't speak about this to
  any one. Let us forget it.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. I am hopelessly puzzled, and either my mind is going
  from old age or else you have all grown very clever, but I'll be
  hanged if I understand this business at all.</p>
<p>Enter SHABELSKI.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Confound you all and myself, too! This is maddening!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. What do you want?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI Seriously, I must really do something horrid and
  rascally, so that not only I but everybody else will be disgusted
  by it. I certainly shall find something to do, upon my word I
  shall! I have already told Borkin to announce that I am to be
  married. [He laughs] Everybody is a scoundrel and I must be one
  too!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. I am tired of you, Matthew. Look here, man you talk in
  such a way that, excuse my saying so, you will soon find yourself
  in a lunatic asylum!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Could a lunatic asylum possibly be worse than this
  house, or any othe r? Kindly take me there at once. Please do!
  Everybody is wicked and futile and worthless and stupid; I am an
  object of disgust to myself, I don't believe a word I say----</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Let me give you a piece of advice, old man; fill your
  mouth full of tow, light it, and blow at everybody. Or, better
  still, take your hat and go home. This is a wedding, we all want
  to enjoy ourselves and you are croaking like a raven. Yes,
  really.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI leans on the piano and begins to sob.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Good gracious, Matthew, Count! What is it, dear
  Matthew, old friend? Have I offended you? There, forgive me; I
  didn't mean to hurt you. Come, drink some water.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. I don't want any water. [Raises his head.]</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. What are you crying about?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Nothing in particular; I was just crying.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Matthew, tell me the truth, what is it? What has
  happened?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. I caught sight of that violoncello, and--and--I
  remembered the Jewess.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. What an unfortunate moment you have chosen to remember
  her. Peace be with her! But don't think of her now.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. We used to play duets together. She was a beautiful, a
  glorious woman.</p>
<p>SASHA sobs.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. What, are you crying too? Stop, Sasha! Dear me, they
  are both howling now, and I--and I-- Do go away; the guests will
  see you!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Paul, when the sun is shining, it is gay even in a
  cemetery. One can be cheerful even in old age if it is lighted by
  hope; but I have nothing to hope for--not a thing!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Yes, it is rather sad for you. You have no children,
  no money, no occupation. Well, but what is there to be done about
  it? [To SASHA] What is the matter with you, Sasha?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Paul, give me some money. I will repay you in the next
  world. I would go to Paris and see my wife's grave. I have given
  away a great deal of money in my life, half my fortune indeed,
  and I have a right to ask for some now. Besides, I am asking a
  friend</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Embarrassed] My dear boy, I haven't a penny. All
  right though. That is to say, I can't promise anything, but you
  understand--very well, very well. [Aside] This is agony!</p>
<p>Enter MARTHA.</p>
<p>MARTHA. Where is my partner? Count, how dare you leave me alone?
  You are horrid! [She taps SHABELSKI on the arm with her fan]</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. [Impatiently] Leave me alone! I can't abide you!</p>
<p>MARTHA. [Frightened] How? What?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Go away!</p>
<p>MARTHA. [Sinks into an arm-chair] Oh! Oh! Oh! [She bursts into
  tears.]</p>
<p>Enter ZINAIDA crying.</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. Some one has just arrived; it must be one of the ushers.
  It is time for the ceremony to begin.</p>
<p>SASHA. [Imploringly] Mother!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Well, now you are all bawling. What a quartette! Come,
  come, don't let us have any more of this dampness! Matthew!
  Martha! If you go on like this, I--I--shall cry too. [Bursts into
  tears] Heavens!</p>
<p>ZINAIDA. If you don't need your mother any more, if you are
  determined not to obey her, I shall have to do as you want, and
  you have my blessing.</p>
<p>Enter IVANOFF, dressed in a long coat, with gloves on.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF This is the finishing touch! What do you want?</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Why are you here?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I beg your pardon, you must allow me to speak to Sasha
  alone.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. The bridegroom must not come to see the bride before
  the wedding. It is time for you to go to the church.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Paul, I implore you.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF shrugs his shoulders. LEBEDIEFF, ZINAIDA, SHABELSKI,
  and MARTHA go out.</p>
<p>SASHA. [Sternly] What do you want?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I am choking with anger; I cannot speak calmly. Listen
  to me; as I was dressing just now for the wedding, I looked in
  the glass and saw how grey my temples were. Sasha, this must not
  be! Let us end this senseless comedy before it is too late. You
  are young and pure; you have all your life before you, but I---</p>
<p>SASHA. The same old story; I have heard it a thousand times and I
  am tired of it. Go quickly to the church and don't keep everybody
  waiting!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I shall go straight home, and you must explain to your
  family somehow that there is to be no wedding. Explain it as you
  please. It is time we came to our senses. I have been playing the
  part of Hamlet and you have been playing the part of a noble and
  devoted girl. We have kept up the farce long enough.</p>
<p>SASHA. [Losing her temper] How can you speak to me like this? I
  won't have it.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. But I am speaking, and will continue to speak.</p>
<p>SASHA. What do you mean by coming to me like this? Your
  melancholy has become absolutely ridiculous!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. No, this is not melancholy. It is ridiculous, is it?
  Yes, I am laughing, and if it were possible for me to laugh at
  myself a thousand times more bitterly I should do so and set the
  whole world laughing, too, in derision. A fierce light has
  suddenly broken over my soul; as I looked into the glass just
  now, I laughed at myself, and nearly went mad with shame. [He
  laughs] Melancholy indeed! Noble grief! Uncontrollable sorrow! It
  only remains for me now to begin to write verses! Shall I mope
  and complain, sadden everybody I meet, confess that my manhood
  has gone forever, that I have decayed, outlived my purpose, that
  I have given myself up to cowardice and am bound hand and foot by
  this loathsome melancholy? Shall I confess all this when the sun
  is shining so brightly and when even the ants are carrying their
  little burdens in peaceful self-content? No, thanks. Can I endure
  the knowledge that one will look upon me as a fraud, while
  another pities me, a third lends me a helping hand, or worst of
  all, a fourth listens reverently to my sighs, looks upon me as a
  new Mahomet, and expects me to expound a new religion every
  moment? No, thank God for the pride and conscience he has left me
  still. On my way here I laughed at myself, and it seemed to me
  that the flowers and birds were laughing mockingly too.</p>
<p>SASHA. This is not anger, but madness!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. You think so, do you? No, I am not mad. I see things in
  their right light now, and my mind is as clear as your
  conscience. We love each other, but we shall never be married. It
  makes no difference how I rave and grow bitter by myself, but I
  have no right to drag another down with me. My melancholy robbed
  my wife of the last year of her life. Since you have been engaged
  to me you have forgotten how to laugh and have aged five years.
  Your father, to whom life was always simple and clear, thanks to
  me, is now unable to understand anybody. Wherever I go, whether
  hunting or visiting, it makes no difference, I carry depression,
  dulness, and discontent along with me. Wait! Don't interrupt me!
  I am bitter and harsh, I know, but I am stifled with rage. I
  cannot speak otherwise. I have never lied, and I never used to
  find fault with my lot, but since I have begun to complain of
  everything, I find fault with it involuntarily, and against my
  will. When I murmur at my fate every one who hears me is seized
  with the same disgust of life and begins to grumble too. And what
  a strange way I have of looking at things! Exactly as if I were
  doing the world a favour by living in it. Oh, I am contemptible.</p>
<p>SASHA. Wait a moment. From what you have just said, it is obvious
  that you are tired of your melancholy mood, and that the time has
  come for you to begin life afresh. How splendid!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I don't see anything splendid about it. How can I lead a
  new life? I am lost forever. It is time we both understood that.
  A new life indeed!</p>
<p>SASHA. Nicholas, come to your senses. How can you say you are
  lost? What do you mean by such cynicism? No, I won't listen to
  you or talk with you. Go to the church!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I am lost!</p>
<p>SASHA. Don't talk so loud; our guests will hear you!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. If an intelligent, educated, and healthy man begins to
  complain of his lot and go down-hill, there is nothing for him to
  do but to go on down until he reaches the bottom--there is no
  hope for him. Where could my salvation come from? How can I save
  myself? I cannot drink, because it makes my head ache. I never
  could write bad poetry. I cannot pray for strength and see
  anything lofty in the languor of my soul. Laziness is laziness
  and weakness weakness. I can find no other names for them. I am
  lost, I am lost; there is no doubt of that. [Looking around] Some
  one might come in; listen, Sasha, if you love me you must help
  me. Renounce me this minute; quickly!</p>
<p>SASHA. Oh, Nicholas! If you only knew how you are torturing me;
  what agony I have to endure for your sake! Good thoughtful
  friend, judge for yourself; can I possibly solve such a problem?
  Each day you put some horrible problem before me, each one more
  difficult than the last. I wanted to help you with my love, but
  this is martyrdom!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. And when you are my wife the problems will be harder
  than ever. Understand this: it is not love that is urging you to
  take this step, but the obstinacy of an honest nature. You have
  undertaken to reawaken the man in me and to save me in the face
  of every difficulty, and you are flattered by the hope of
  achieving your object. You are willing to give up now, but you
  are prevented from doing it by a feeling that is a false one.
  Understand yourself!</p>
<p>SASHA. What strange, wild reasoning! How can I give you up now? How can I? 
  You have no mother, or sister, or friends. You are ruined; your estate has been 
  destroyed; every one is speaking ill of you-- </p>
<p>IVANOFF. It was foolish of me to come here; I should have done as
  I wanted to--</p>
<p>Enter LEBEDIEFF.</p>
<p>SASHA. [Running to her father] Father! He has rushed over here
  like a madman, and is torturing me! He insists that I should
  refuse to marry him; he says he doesn't want to drag me down with
  him. Tell him that I won't accept his generosity. I know what I
  am doing!</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. I can't understand a word of what you are saying. What
  generosity?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. This marriage is not going to take place.</p>
<p>SASHA. It is going to take place. Papa, tell him that it is going
  to take place.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Wait! Wait! What objection have you to the marriage?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I have explained it all to her, but she refuses to
  understand me.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Don't explain it to her, but to me, and explain it so
  that I may understand. God forgive you, Nicholas, you have
  brought a great deal of darkness into our lives. I feel as if I
  were living in a museum; I look about me and don't understand
  anything I see. This is torture. What on earth can an old man
  like me do with you? Shall I challenge you to a duel?</p>
<p>IVANOFF. There is no need of a duel. All you need is a head on
  your shoulders and a knowledge of the Russian language.</p>
<p>SASHA. [Walks up and down in great excitement] This is dreadful,
  dreadful! Absolutely childish.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas; from your point of view what
  you are doing is quite right and proper, according to the rules
  of psychology, but I think this affair is a scandal and a great
  misfortune. I am an old man; hear me out for the last time. This
  is what I want to say to you: calm yourself; look at things
  simply, as every one else does; this is a simple world. The
  ceiling is white; your boots are black; sugar is sweet. You love
  Sasha and she loves you. If you love her, stay with her; if you
  don't, leave her. We shan't blame you. It is all perfectly
  simple. You are two healthy, intelligent, moral young people;
  thank God, you both have food and clothing--what more do you
  want? What if you have no money? That is no great
  misfortune--happiness is not bought with wealth. Of course your
  estate is mortgaged, Nicholas, as I know, and you have no money
  to pay the interest on the debt, but I am Sasha's father. I
  understand. Her mother can do as she likes--if she won't give any
  money, why, confound her, then she needn't, that's all! Sasha has
  just said that she does not want her part of it. As for your
  principles, Schopenhauer and all that, it is all folly. I have
  one hundred thousand roubles in the bank. [Looking around him]
  Not a soul in the house knows it; it was my grandmother's money.
  That shall be for you both. Take it, give Matthew two thousand--</p>
<p>[The guests begin to collect in the ball-room].</p>
<p>IVANOFF. It is no use discussing it any more, I must act as my
  conscience bids me.</p>
<p>SASHA. And I shall act as my conscience bids me--you may say what
  you please; I refuse to let you go! I am going to call my mother.</p>
<p>LEBEDIEFF. I am utterly puzzled.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Listen to me, poor old friend. I shall not try to
  explain myself to you. I shall not tell you whether I am honest
  or a rascal, healthy or mad; you wouldn't understand me. I was
  young once; I have been eager and sincere and intelligent. I have
  loved and hated and believed as no one else has. I have worked
  and hoped and tilted against windmills with the strength of
  ten--not sparing my strength, not knowing what life was. I
  shouldered a load that broke my back. I drank, I worked, I
  excited myself, my energy knew no bounds. Tell me, could I have
  done otherwise? There are so few of us and so much to do, so much
  to do! And see how cruelly fate has revenged herself on me, who
  fought with her so bravely! I am a broken man. I am old at
  thirty. I have submitted myself to old age. With a heavy head and
  a sluggish mind, weary, used up, discouraged, without faith or
  love or an object in life, I wander like a shadow among other
  men, not knowing why I am alive or what it is that I want. Love
  seems to me to be folly, caresses false. I see no sense in
  working or playing, and all passionate speeches seem insipid and
  tiresome. So I carry my sadness with me wherever I go; a cold
  weariness, a discontent, a horror of life. Yes, I am lost for
  ever and ever. Before you stands a man who at thirty-five is
  disillusioned, wearied by fruitless efforts, burning with shame,
  and mocking at his own weakness. Oh, how my pride rebels against
  it all! What mad fury chokes me! [He staggers] I am
  staggering--my strength is failing me. Where is Matthew? Let him
  take me home.</p>
<p>[Voices from the ball-room] The best man has arrived!</p>
<p>Enter SHABELSKI.</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. In an old worn-out coat--without gloves! How many
  scornful glances I get for it! Such silly jokes and vulgar grins!
  Disgusting people.</p>
<p>Enter BORKIN quickly. He is carrying a bunch of flowers and is in
  a dress-coat. He wears a flower in his buttonhole.</p>
<p>BORKIN. This is dreadful! Where is he? [To IVANOFF] They have
  been waiting for you for a long time in the church, and here you
  are talking philosophy! What a funny chap you are. Don't you know
  you must not go to church with the bride, but alone, with me? I
  shall then come back for her. Is it possible you have not
  understood that? You certainly are an extraordinary man!</p>
<p>Enter LVOFF.</p>
<p>LVOFF. [To IVANOFF] Ah! So you are here? [Loudly] Nicholas
  Ivanoff, I denounce you to the world as a scoundrel!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Coldly] Many thanks!</p>
<p>BORKIN. [To LVOFF] Sir, this is dastardly! I challenge you to a
  duel!</p>
<p>LVOFF. Monsieur Borkin, I count it a disgrace not only to fight
  with you, but even to talk to you! Monsieur Ivanoff, however, can
  receive satisfaction from me whenever he chooses!</p>
<p>SHABELSKI. Sir, I shall fight you!</p>
<p>SASHA. [To LVOFF] Why, oh why, have you insulted him? Gentlemen,
  I beg you, let him tell me why he has insulted him.</p>
<p>LVOFF. Miss Sasha, I have not insulted him without cause. I came
  here as a man of honour, to open your eyes, and I beg you to
  listen to what I have to tell you.</p>
<p>SASHA. What can you possibly have to tell me? That you are a man
  of honour? The whole world knows it. You had better tell me on
  your honour whether you understand what you have done or not. You
  have come in here as a man of honour and have insulted him so
  terribly that you have nearly killed me. When you used to follow
  him like a shadow and almost keep him from living, you were
  convinced that you were doing your duty and that you were acting
  like a man of honour. When you interfered in his private affairs,
  maligned him and criticised him; when you sent me and whomever
  else you could, anonymous letters, you imagined yourself to be an
  honourable man! And, thinking that that too was honourable, you,
  a doctor, did not even spare his dying wife or give her a
  moment's peace from your suspicions. And no matter what violence,
  what cruel wrong you committed, you still imagined yourself to be
  an unusually honourable and clear-sighted man.</p>
<p>IVANOFF. [Laughing] This is not a wedding, but a parliament!
  Bravo! Bravo!</p>
<p>SASHA. [To LVOFF] Now, think it over! Do you see what sort of a
  man you are, or not? Oh,
  the stupid, heartless people! [Takes IVANOFF by the hand] Come
  away from here Nicholas! Come, father, let us go!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Where shall we go? Wait a moment. I shall soon put an
  end to the whole thing. My youth is awake in me again; the former
  Ivanoff is here once more.</p>
<p>[He takes out a revolver.]</p>
<p>SASHA. [Shrieking] I know what he wants to do! Nicholas, for
  God's sake!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. I have been slipping down-hill long enough. Now, halt!
  It is time to know what honour is. Out of the way! Thank you,
  Sasha!</p>
<p>SASHA. [Shrieking] Nicholas! For God's sake hold him!</p>
<p>IVANOFF. Let go! [He rushes aside, and shoots himself.]</p>
<p>The curtain falls.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>

<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
<PRE>
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