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diff --git a/old/19978.txt b/old/19978.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fa7240a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/19978.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1300 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of 35 Sonnets by Fernando Pessoa + + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no +restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under +the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or +online at http://www.gutenberg.org/license + + + +Title: 35 Sonnets + +Author: Fernando Pessoa + +Release Date: November 30, 2006 [Ebook #19978] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 35 SONNETS*** + + + + + +35 Sonnets + + +by Fernando Pessoa + + + + +Edition 1, (November 30, 2006) + + + + + + +I. + + +Whether we write or speak or do but look +We are ever unapparent. What we are +Cannot be transfused into word or book. +Our soul from us is infinitely far. +However much we give our thoughts the will +To be our soul and gesture it abroad, +Our hearts are incommunicable still. +In what we show ourselves we are ignored. +The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged +By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. +Unto our very selves we are abridged +When we would utter to our thought our being. + We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, + And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. + + + + + +II. + + +If that apparent part of life's delight +Our tingled flesh-sense circumscribes were seen +By aught save reflex and co-carnal sight, +Joy, flesh and life might prove but a gross screen. +Haply Truth's body is no eyable being, +Appearance even as appearance lies, +Haply our close, dark, vague, warm sense of seeing +Is the choked vision of blindfolded eyes. +Wherefrom what comes to thought's sense of life? Nought. +All is either the irrational world we see +Or some aught-else whose being-unknown doth rot +Its use for our thought's use. Whence taketh me + A qualm-like ache of life, a body-deep + Soul-hate of what we seek and what we weep. + + + + + +III. + + +When I do think my meanest line shall be +More in Time's use than my creating whole, +That future eyes more clearly shall feel me +In this inked page than in my direct soul; +When I conjecture put to make me seeing +Good readers of me in some aftertime, +Thankful to some idea of my being +That doth not even my with gone true soul rime; +An anger at the essence of the world, +That makes this thus, or thinkable this wise, +Takes my soul by the throat and makes it hurled +In nightly horrors of despaired surmise, + And I become the mere sense of a rage + That lacks the very words whose waste might 'suage. + + + + + +IV. + + +I could not think of thee as pieced rot, +Yet such thou wert, for thou hadst been long dead; +Yet thou liv'dst entire in my seeing thought +And what thou wert in me had never fled. +Nay, I had fixed the moments of thy beauty-- +Thy ebbing smile, thy kiss's readiness, +And memory had taught my heart the duty +To know thee ever at that deathlessness. +But when I came where thou wert laid, and saw +The natural flowers ignoring thee sans blame, +And the encroaching grass, with casual flaw, +Framing the stone to age where was thy name, + I knew not how to feel, nor what to be + Towards thy fate's material secrecy. + + + + + +V. + + +How can I think, or edge my thoughts to action, +When the miserly press of each day's need +Aches to a narrowness of spilled distraction +My soul appalled at the world's work's time-greed? +How can I pause my thoughts upon the task +My soul was born to think that it must do +When every moment has a thought to ask +To fit the immediate craving of its cue? +The coin I'd heap for marrying my Muse +And build our home i'th' greater Time-to-be +Becomes dissolved by needs of each day's use +And I feel beggared of infinity, + Like a true-Christian sinner, each day flesh-driven + By his own act to forfeit his wished heaven. + + + + + +VI. + + +As a bad orator, badly o'er-book-skilled, +Doth overflow his purpose with made heat, +And, like a clock, winds with withoutness willed +What should have been an inner instinct's feat; +Or as a prose-wit, harshly poet turned, +Lacking the subtler music in his measure, +With useless care labours but to be spurned, +Courting in alien speech the Muse's pleasure; +I study how to love or how to hate, +Estranged by consciousness from sentiment, +With a thought feeling forced to be sedate +Even when the feeling's nature is violent; + As who would learn to swim without the river, + When nearest to the trick, as far as ever. + + + + + +VII. + + +Thy words are torture to me, that scarce grieve thee-- +That entire death shall null my entire thought; +And I feel torture, not that I believe thee, +But that I cannot disbelieve thee not. +Shall that of me that now contains the stars +Be by the very contained stars survived? +Thus were Fate all unjust. Yet what truth bars +An all unjust Fate's truth from being believed? +Conjecture cannot fit to the seen world +A garment of its thought untorn or covering, +Or with its stuffed garb forge an otherworld +Without itself its dead deceit discovering; + So, all being possible, an idle thought may + Less idle thoughts, self-known no truer, dismay. + + + + + +VIII. + + +How many masks wear we, and undermasks, +Upon our countenance of soul, and when, +If for self-sport the soul itself unmasks, +Knows it the last mask off and the face plain? +The true mask feels no inside to the mask +But looks out of the mask by co-masked eyes. +Whatever consciousness begins the task +The task's accepted use to sleepness ties. +Like a child frighted by its mirrored faces, +Our souls, that children are, being thought-losing, +Foist otherness upon their seen grimaces +And get a whole world on their forgot causing; + And, when a thought would unmask our soul's masking, + Itself goes not unmasked to the unmasking. + + + + + +IX. + + +Oh to be idle loving idleness! +But I am idle all in hate of me; +Ever in action's dream, in the false stress +Of purposed action never set to be. +Like a fierce beast self-penned in a bait-lair, +My will to act binds with excess my action, +Not-acting coils the thought with raged despair, +And acting rage doth paint despair distraction. +Like someone sinking in a treacherous sand, +Each gesture to deliver sinks the more; +The struggle avails not, and to raise no hand, +Though but more slowly useless, we've no power. + Hence live I the dead life each day doth bring, + Repurposed for next day's repurposing. + + + + + +X. + + +As to a child, I talked my heart asleep +With empty promise of the coming day, +And it slept rather for my words made sleep +Than from a thought of what their sense did say. +For did it care for sense, would it not wake +And question closer to the morrow's pleasure? +Would it not edge nearer my words, to take +The promise in the meting of its measure? +So, if it slept, 'twas that it cared but for +The present sleepy use of promised joy, +Thanking the fruit but for the forecome flower +Which the less active senses best enjoy. + Thus with deceit do I detain the heart + Of which deceit's self knows itself a part. + + + + + +XI. + + +Like to a ship that storms urge on its course, +By its own trials our soul is surer made. +The very things that make the voyage worse +Do make it better; its peril is its aid. +And, as the storm drives from the storm, our heart +Within the peril disimperilled grows; +A port is near the more from port we part-- +The port whereto our driven direction goes. +If we reap knowledge to cross-profit, this +From storms we learn, when the storm's height doth drive-- +That the black presence of its violence is +The pushing promise of near far blue skies. + Learn we but how to have the pilot-skill, + And the storm's very might shall mate our will. + + + + + +XII. + + +As the lone, frighted user of a night-road +Suddenly turns round, nothing to detect, +Yet on his fear's sense keepeth still the load +Of that brink-nothing he doth but suspect; +And the cold terror moves to him more near +Of something that from nothing casts a spell, +That, when he moves, to fright more is not there, +And's only visible when invisible +So I upon the world turn round in thought, +And nothing viewing do no courage take, +But my more terror, from no seen cause got, +To that felt corporate emptiness forsake, + And draw my sense of mystery's horror from + Seeing no mystery's mystery alone. + + + + + +XIII. + + +When I should be asleep to mine own voice +In telling thee how much thy love's my dream, +I find me listening to myself, the noise +Of my words othered in my hearing them. +Yet wonder not: this is the poet's soul. +I could not tell thee well of how I love, +Loved I not less by knowing it, were all +My self my love and no thought love to prove. +What consciousness makes more by consciousness, +It makes less, for it makes it less itself, +My sense of love could not my love rich-dress +Did it not for it spend love's own love-pelf. + Poet's love's this (as in these words I prove thee): + I love my love for thee more than I love thee. + + + + + +XIV. + + +We are born at sunset and we die ere morn, +And the whole darkness of the world we know, +How can we guess its truth, to darkness born, +The obscure consequence of absent glow? +Only the stars do teach us light. We grasp +Their scattered smallnesses with thoughts that stray, +And, though their eyes look through night's complete mask, +Yet they speak not the features of the day. +Why should these small denials of the whole +More than the black whole the pleased eyes attract? +Why what it calls "worth" does the captive soul +Add to the small and from the large detract? + So, put of light's love wishing it night's stretch, + A nightly thought of day we darkly reach. + + + + + +XV. + + +Like a bad suitor desperate and trembling +From the mixed sense of being not loved and loving, +Who with feared longing half would know, dissembling +With what he'd wish proved what he fears soon proving, +I look with inner eyes afraid to look, +Yet perplexed into looking, at the worth +This verse may have and wonder, of my book, +To what thoughts shall't in alien hearts give birth. +But, as he who doth love, and, loving, hopes, +Yet, hoping, fears, fears to put proof to proof, +And in his mind for possible proofs gropes, +Delaying the true proof, lest the real thing scoff, + I daily live, i'th' fame I dream to see, + But by my thought of others' thought of me. + + + + + +XVI. + + +We never joy enjoy to that full point +Regret doth wish joy had enjoyed been, +Nor have the strength regret to disappoint +Recalling not past joy's thought, but its mien. +Yet joy was joy when it enjoyed was +And after-enjoyed when as joy recalled, +It must have been joy ere its joy did pass +And, recalled, joy still, since its being-past galled. +Alas! All this is useless, for joy's in +Enjoying, not in thinking of enjoying. +Its mere thought-mirroring gainst itself doth sin, +By mere reflecting solid life destroying, + Yet the more thought we take to thought to prove + It must not think, doth further from joy move. + + + + + +XVII. + + +My love, and not I, is the egoist. +My love for thee loves itself more than thee; +Ay, more than me, in whom it doth exist, +And makes me live that it may feed on me. +In the country of bridges the bridge is +More real than the shores it doth unsever; +So in our world, all of Relation, this +Is true--that truer is Love than either lover. +This thought therefore comes lightly to Doubt's door-- +If we, seeing substance of this world, are not +Mere Intervals, God's Absence and no more, +Hollows in real Consciousness and Thought. + And if 'tis possible to Thought to bear this fruit, + Why should it not be possible to Truth? + + + + + +XVIII. + + +Indefinite space, which, by co-substance night, +In one black mystery two void mysteries blends; +The stray stars, whose innumerable light +Repeats one mystery till conjecture ends; +The stream of time, known by birth-bursting bubbles; +The gulf of silence, empty even of nought; +Thought's high-walled maze, which the outed owner troubles +Because the string's lost and the plan forgot: +When I think on this and that here I stand, +The thinker of these thoughts, emptily wise, +Holding up to my thinking my thing-hand +And looking at it with thought-alien eyes, + The prayer of my wonder looketh past + The universal darkness lone and vast. + + + + + +XIX. + + +Beauty and love let no one separate, +Whom exact Nature did to each other fit, +Giving to Beauty love as finishing fate +And to Love beauty as true colour of it. +Let he but friend be who the soul finds fair, +But let none love outside the body's thought, +So the seen couple's togetherness shall bear +Truth to the beauty each in the other sought. +I could but love thee out of mockery +Of love and thee and mine own ugliness; +Therefore thy beauty I sing and wish not thee, +Thanking the Gods I long not out of place, + Lest, like a slave that for kings' robes doth long, + Obtained, shall with mere wearing do them wrong. + + + + + +XX. + + +When in the widening circle of rebirth +To a new flesh my travelled soul shall come, +And try again the unremembered earth +With the old sadness for the immortal home, +Shall I revisit these same differing fields +And cull the old new flowers with the same sense, +That some small breath of foiled remembrance yields, +Of more age than my days in this pretence? +Shall I again regret strange faces lost +Of which the present memory is forgot +And but in unseen bulks of vagueness tossed +Out of the closed sea and black night of Thought? + Were thy face one, what sweetness will't not be, + Though by blind feeling, to remember thee! + + + + + +XXI. + + +Thought was born blind, but Thought knows what is seeing. +Its careful touch, deciphering forms from shapes, +Still suggests form as aught whose proper being +Mere finding touch with erring darkness drapes. +Yet whence, except from guessed sight, does touch teach +That touch is but a close and empty sense? +How does mere touch, self-uncontented, reach +For some truer sense's whole intelligence? +The thing once touched, if touch be now omitted, +Stands yet in memory real and outward known, +So the untouching memory of touch is fitted +With sense of a sense whereby far things are shown + So, by touch of untouching, wrongly aright, + Touch' thought of seeing sees not things but Sight. + + + + + +XXII. + + +My soul is a stiff pageant, man by man, +Of some Egyptian art than Egypt older, +Found in some tomb whose rite no guess can scan, +Where all things else to coloured dust did moulder. +Whate'er its sense may mean, its age is twin +To that of priesthoods whose feet stood near God, +When knowledge was so great that 'twas a sin +And man's mere soul too man for its abode. +But when I ask what means that pageant I +And would look at it suddenly, I lose +The sense I had of seeing it, nor can try +Again to look, nor hath my memory a use + That seems recalling, save that it recalls + An emptiness of having seen those walls. + + + + + +XXIII. + + +Even as upon a low and cloud-domed day, +When clouds are one cloud till the horizon, +Our thinking senses deem the sun away +And say "'tis sunless" and "there is no sun"; +And yet the very day they wrong truth by +Is of the unseen sun's effluent essence, +The very words do give themselves the lie, +The very thought of absence comes from presence: +Even so deem we through Good of what is evil. +He speaks of light that speaks of absent light, +And absent god, becoming present devil, +Is still the absent god by essence' right. + The withdrawn cause by being withdrawn doth get + (Being thereby cause still) the denied effect. + + + + + +XXIV. + + +Something in me was born before the stars +And saw the sun begin from far away. +Our yellow, local day on its wont jars, +For it hath communed with an absolute day. +Through my Thought's night, as a worn robe's heard trail +That I have never seen, I drag this past +That saw the Possible like a dawn grow pale +On the lost night before it, mute and vast. +It dates remoter than God's birth can reach, +That had no birth but the world's coming after. +So the world's to me as, after whispered speech, +The cause-ignored sudden echoing of laughter. + That 't has a meaning my conjecture knows, + But that 't has meaning's all its meaning shows. + + + + + +XXV. + + +We are in Fate and Fate's and do but lack +Outness from soul to know ourselves its dwelling, +And do but compel Fate aside or back +By Fate's own immanence in the compelling. +We are too far in us from outward truth +To know how much we are not what we are, +And live but in the heat of error's youth, +Yet young enough its acting youth to ignore. +The doubleness of mind fails us, to glance +At our exterior presence amid things, +Sizing from otherness our countenance +And seeing our puppet will's act-acting strings. + An unknown language speaks in us, which we + Are at the words of, fronted from reality. + + + + + +XXVI. + + +The world is woven all of dream and error +And but one sureness in our truth may lie-- +That when we hold to aught our thinking's mirror +We know it not by knowing it thereby. +For but one side of things the mirror knows, +And knows it colded from its solidness. +A double lie its truth is; what it shows +By true show's false and nowhere by true place. +Thought clouds our life's day-sense with strangeness, yet +Never from strangeness more than that it's strange +Doth buy our perplexed thinking, for we get +But the words' sense from words--knowledge, truth, change. + We know the world is false, not what is true. + Yet we think on, knowing we ne'er shall know. + + + + + +XXVII. + + +How yesterday is long ago! The past +Is a fixed infinite distance from to-day, +And bygone things, the first-lived as the last, +In irreparable sameness far away. +How the to-be is infinitely ever +Out of the place wherein it will be Now, +Like the seen wave yet far up in the river, +Which reaches not us, but the new-waved flow! +This thing Time is, whose being is having none, +The equable tyrant of our different fates, +Who could not be bought off by a shattered sun +Or tricked by new use of our careful dates. + This thing Time is, that to the grave-will bear + My heart, sure but of it and of my fear. + + + + + +XXVIII. + + +The edge of the green wave whitely doth hiss +Upon the wetted sand. I look, yet dream. +Surely reality cannot be this! +Somehow, somewhere this surely doth but seem! +The sky, the sea, this great extent disclosed +Of outward joy, this bulk of life we feel, +Is not something, but something interposed. +Only what in this is not this is real. +If this be to have sense, if to be awake +Be but to see this bright, great sleep of things, +For the rarer potion mine own dreams I'll take +And for truth commune with imaginings, + Holding a dream too bitter, a too fair curse, + This common sleep of men, the universe. + + + + + +XXIX. + + +My weary life, that lives unsatisfied +On the foiled off-brink of being e'er but this, +To whom the power to will hath been denied +And the will to renounce doth also miss; +My sated life, with having nothing sated, +In the motion of moving poised aye, +Within its dreams from its own dreams abated-- +This life let the Gods change or take away. +For this endless succession of empty hours, +Like deserts after deserts, voidly one, +Doth undermine the very dreaming powers +And dull even thought's active inaction, + Tainting with fore-unwilled will the dreamed act + Twice thus removed from the unobtained fact. + + + + + +XXX. + + +I do not know what truth the false untruth +Of this sad sense of the seen world may own, +Or if this flowered plant bears also a fruit +Unto the true reality unknown. +But as the rainbow, neither earth's nor sky's, +Stands in the dripping freshness of lulled rain, +A hope, not real yet not fancy's, lies +Athwart the moment of our ceasing pain. +Somehow, since pain is felt yet felt as ill, +Hope hath a better warrant than being hoped; +Since pain is felt as aught we should not feel +Man hath a Nature's reason for having groped, + Since Time was Time and age and grief his measures, + Towards a better shelter than Time's pleasures. + + + + + +XXXI. + + +I am older than Nature and her Time +By all the timeless age of Consciousness, +And my adult oblivion of the clime +Where I was born makes me not countryless. +Ay, and dim through my daylight thoughts escape +Yearnings for that land where my childhood dreamed, +Which I cannot recall in colour or shape +But haunts my hours like something that hath gleamed +And yet is not as light remembered, +Nor to the left or to the right conceived; +And all round me tastes as if life were dead +And the world made but to be disbelieved. + Thus I my hope on unknown truth lay; yet + How but by hope do I the unknown truth get? + + + + + +XXXII. + + +When I have sense of what to sense appears, +Sense is sense ere 'tis mine or mine in me is. +When I hear, Hearing, ere I do hear, hears. +When I see, before me abstract Seeing sees. +I am part Soul part I in all I touch-- +Soul by that part I hold in common with all, +And I the spoiled part, that doth make sense such +As I can err by it and my sense mine call. +The rest is wondering what these thoughts may mean, +That come to explain and suddenly are gone, +Like messengers that mock the message' mien, +Explaining all but the explanation; + As if we a ciphered letter's cipher hit + And find it in an unknown language writ. + + + + + +XXXIII. + + +He that goes back does, since he goes, advance, +Though he doth not advance who goeth back, +And he that seeks, though he on nothing chance, +May still by words be said to find a lack. +This paradox of having, that is nought +In the world's meaning of the things it screens, +Is yet true of the substance of pure thought +And there means something by the nought it means. +For thinking nought does on nought being confer, +As giving not is acting not to give, +And, to the same unbribed true thought, to err +Is to find truth, though by its negative. + So why call this world false, if false to be + Be to be aught, and being aught Being to be? + + + + + +XXXIV. + + +Happy the maimed, the halt, the mad, the blind-- +All who, stamped separate by curtailing birth, +Owe no duty's allegiance to mankind +Nor stand a valuing in their scheme of worth! +But I, whom Fate, not Nature, did curtail, +By no exterior voidness being exempt, +Must bear accusing glances where I fail, +Fixed in the general orbit of contempt. +Fate, less than Nature in being kind to lacking, +Giving the ill, shows not as outer cause, +Making our mock-free will the mirror's backing +Which Fate's own acts as if in itself shows; + And men, like children, seeing the image there, + Take place for cause and make our will Fate bear. + + + + + +XXXV. + + +Good. I have done. My heart weighs. I am sad. +The outer day, void statue of lit blue, +Is altogether outward, other, glad +At mere being not-I (so my aches construe). +I, that have failed in everything, bewail +Nothing this hour but that I have bewailed, +For in the general fate what is't to fail? +Why, fate being past for Fate, 'tis but to have failed. +Whatever hap-or stop, what matters it, +Sith to the mattering our will bringeth nought? +With the higher trifling let us world our wit, +Conscious that, if we do't, that was the lot + The regular stars bound us to, when they stood + Godfathers to our birth and to our blood. + + + + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 35 SONNETS*** + + + +CREDITS + + +November 30, 2006 + + Project Gutenberg Edition + Rita Farinha + Joshua Hutchinson + Online Distributed Proofreading Team This file was produced + from images generously made available by National Library of + Portugal (Biblioteca Nacional de Portugal). + + + +A WORD FROM PROJECT GUTENBERG + + +This file should be named 19978.txt or 19978.zip. + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + + + http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/9/9/7/19978/ + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one -- the old editions will be +renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no one +owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and +you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission +and without paying copyright royalties. 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