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diff --git a/20661.txt b/20661.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0c61da3 --- /dev/null +++ b/20661.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2950 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Romance of an Old Fool, by Roswell Field + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Romance of an Old Fool + +Author: Roswell Field + +Release Date: February 24, 2007 [EBook #20661] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ROMANCE OF AN OLD FOOL *** + + + + +Produced by Audrey Longhurst, Suzan Flanagan and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + +-------------------------------------------------- + +_The_ ROMANCE OF + AN OLD FOOL + +-------------------------------------------------- + + THE ROMANCE + + OF + + AN OLD FOOL + + + BY + + ROSWELL FIELD + + + EVANSTON +WILLIAM S. LORD + 1902 + +-------------------------------------------------- + +_Copyright, 1902, by_ + ROSWELL FIELD + + +UNIVERSITY PRESS . JOHN WILSON + AND SON . CAMBRIDGE, U.S.A. + +-------------------------------------------------- + + _To_ + MY GODCHILDREN + +_With the somewhat unnecessary assurance that + it is not an autobiography, this little + tale of misconceived attachment + is affectionately + inscribed_ + +-------------------------------------------------- + + + + +THE ROMANCE _of_ AN OLD FOOL + + +If it had not been for Bunsey, the novelist, I might have +attained the heights. As a critic Bunsey has never commanded my +highest admiration, and yet I have had my tender moments for him. +From a really exacting standpoint he was not much of a novelist, +and to his failure to win the wealth which is supposed to +accompany fame I may have owed much of the debt of his sustained +presence and his fondness for my tobacco. Bunsey had started out +in life with high ideals, a resolution to lead the purely +literary existence and to supply the market with a variety of +choice, didactic essays along the line of high thinking; but the +demand did not come up to the supply, and presently he abandoned +his original lofty intention in favor of a sort of dubious +romance. The financial returns, however, while a trifle more +regular and encouraging, were not of sufficient importance to +justify him in giving up his friendly claims on my house, my +library, my time, my favorite lounge, and my best brand of +cigars, in return for which he contributed philosophic opinions +and much strenuous advice on topics in general and literature in +particular. + +From my childhood I have been in the habit of keeping a diary, a +running comment on the daily incidents of my pleasant but +uneventful life, and occasionally, when Bunsey's society seemed +too assertive and familiar, I sought to punish him by reading +long and numerous excerpts. To do him justice he took the +chastisement meekly, and even insisted that I was burying a +remarkable talent, sometimes going to the magnanimous extreme of +offering to introduce me to his publisher, and to speak a good +word for me to the editors of certain magazines with whom he +maintained a brisk correspondence, not infrequently of a +querulous nature. All these friendly offices I gently put aside, +in recalling the degradation of Bunsey's ideals, though I went on +tolerating Bunsey, who had a good heart and an insistent manner. +In this way I possibly deprived myself of a glorious career. + +My ability to befriend Bunsey was due to a felicitous chain of +circumstances. When the late Mrs. Stanhope passed to her reward, +she considerately left behind a document making me the recipient +of her entire and not inconsiderable fortune. This proved a +most unexpected blow to the church, which had enjoyed the honor +and pleasure of Mrs. Stanhope's association, and which, quite +naturally, had hoped to profit by her decease. The late Mrs. +Stanhope, who I neglected to say was, in the eyes of Heaven, +the world, and the law, my wife, had not lived with me in that +utter abandonment to conjugal affection so much to be desired. +We married to please our families, and we lived apart as much +as possible to please ourselves. Though not without certain +physical charms, Mrs. Stanhope was a woman of great moral +rigidity and religious austerity, who saw life through the +diminishing end of a sectarian telescope, and who cared far +more for the distant heathen than for the local convivial pagans +who composed my _entourage_. She had brought to me a considerable +sum of money, which I had increased by judicious investments, +and I dare say that it was in recognition of my business ability, +as well as possibly in a moment of becoming wifely remorse, that +she bequeathed to me her property intact. I gave her final +testimonial services wholly in keeping with her standing as +a church-woman, and I must say for my friends, whom she had +severely ignored during her life, that they behaved very +handsomely on that mournful occasion. They turned out in +large numbers, and testified in other ways to their regard for +her unblemished character. I recall, not without emotion after +all these years, that Bunsey's memorial tribute to the church +paper--for which he never received a dollar--was a model +of appreciation as well as of Christian forgiveness and +self-forgetfulness. + +The passing of Mrs. Stanhope made it possible for me to put into +operation the long-desired plan of retiring a little way into the +country, not too far from the seductions of the club and the +city, but far enough to conform to the tastes of a country +gentleman who likes to whistle to his dogs, putter over his +roses, and meditate in a comfortable library with the poets and +philosophers of his fancy. Here, with my good house-keeper, +Prudence--a name I chose in preference to her mother's selection, +Elizabeth--and my gardener and man of affairs, Malachy, I lived +for a number of years at peace with the world and perfectly +satisfied with myself. Although I was dangerously over forty, and +my hair, which had been impressively dark, was conspicuously gray +in spots, my figure was good, my dress correct, and my mirror +told me that I was still in a position to be in the matrimonial +running if I tried. I mention these trifling physical details +merely to save my modesty the humiliation and annoyance of +referring to them in future, and to prepossess the gentle reader +wherever the sex makes it highly important. + +I do not deny that in certain moments of loneliness which come to +us, widowers and bachelors alike, I had the impulse to tempt +again the matrimonial fortune, and counting on my financial +standing, together with other attractions, I ran over the +eligible ladies of my acquaintance. But one was a little too old, +and another was a good deal too flighty. One was too fond of +society, and another did not like dogs. A fifth spoiled her +chances by an unwomanly ignorance of horticulture, and a sixth +perished miserably after returning to me one of my most cherished +books with the leaves dog-eared and the binding cracked. For I +hold with the greatest philosophers that she who maltreats a book +will never make a good wife. And so the years slipped cosily and +cheerily by, while I grew more contented with my environment and +less envious of my married friends, and whenever temporary +melancholy overtook me I moved into the club for a month, or +slipped across the water, finding in the change of scene +immediate relief from the monotony of widowerhood. + +In thus fortifying myself against the wiles of woman I was much +abetted by my good Prudence, who never ceased her exhortations as +to the sinister designs of her sex, and who had a ready word of +discouragement for any possible candidate who might be in the +line of succession. "I see that Rogers woman walkin' by the house +to-day, Mr. John," she would begin, "and I see her turnin' her +nose up at the new paint on the arbor." (I selected that color +myself.) "It's queer how that woman does give herself airs, +considerin' everybody knows she's been ready for ten years to +take the fust man that asks her." Prudence knew that I had +escorted the elderly Miss Rogers to the theatre only the week +before, and had commented pleasantly on the elegance of her +figure. But the slight put upon my eye for color was too much. +Wily Prudence! + +Or a day or two after I had rendered an act of neighborly +kindness to the bereaved Mrs. Stebbins she would say quite +casually: + +"I don't want to utter one word agin the poor and afflicted, Mr. +John, but when the Widder Stebbins hit Cleo with a broom to-day I +own I b'iled over. I shouldn't tell you if it warn't my duty." + +Cleopatra was my favorite cocker spaniel, and any faint +impression my fair neighbor may have made on my unguarded heart +was immediately dispelled. Thus subtly and vigilantly my +house-keeper kept the outer gates of the citadel, and shooed away +a possible mistress as effectually as she dispersed the predatory +hens from the garden patch. + +But with the younger generation of women, good Prudence was less +cautious. Any maiden under the very early twenties she regarded +fair material for my friendly offices, and frequently she visited +me with expressions commendatory of good conduct. + +"I likes to see you with the children, Mr. John, bless 'em, sir. +And they do all seem to be so fond of you. There's nothin' that +keeps the heart so young and fresh as goin' with young people, +just as nothin' ages a man so much as havin' a lot of widders and +designin' old maids about. Of course," she added, with a return +of her natural suspicion, "you are old enough to be father to the +whole bunch, which keeps people from talkin'." + +Whether it was Prudence's approbation or my own inclination I +cannot say, but it soon came about that I was on paternally +familiar terms with the entire neighborhood of maidens of +reasonably tender years, and a very important factor in young +feminine councils. These artful creatures knew exactly when +their favorite roses were in bloom, exactly when the cherries +back of the house were ripe, exactly when it was time to go to +town for another theatre party, to give a picnic up the river, or +a small and informal dance in the parlors. I was expected to +remember and observe all birthdays, to be a well-spring of +benevolence at Christmas, and a free and never-failing florist at +Easter. I was the recipient of all young griefs and troubles, and +no girl ever committed herself unconditionally to the arms of her +lover until she had talked the matter over with Uncle John. All +this, to a good-looking man of--well, considerably over forty, +was flattering, but no sinecure. + +One morning, in the late spring, it came over me unhappily that +in a moment of fatal forgetfulness I had promised to be present +that evening at a card-party--a promise exacted by the "Rogers +woman," _persona non grata_ to Prudence. A card-party was to me +in the category with battle and murder and sudden death, from +which we all petition to be delivered in the book of common +prayer--but how to be delivered? I could not be called suddenly +to town, for I had already run that excuse to its full limit. I +could not conveniently start for Europe on an hour's notice. The +plea of sickness I dismissed as feminine and unworthy. And while +I sat debating to what extreme I could tax my over-burdened +conscience, Malachy appeared with the information that he had +discovered unmistakable signs of cutworms in the rose-bushes, and +that the local custodians of the trees were thundering against an +impending epidemic of brown-tailed moth. Surely my path of duty +led to the garden. But that card-party? No, let the cutworm work +his will, and let the brown-tailed moth corrupt; I must take +refuge in flight, however inglorious. It was then that the good +angel, who never forsakes a well-meaning man, whispered to me +that far back in a quiet corner of New England was the little +village where I had passed my boyhood, which I had deserted for +five and twenty years, but which still remembered me as "Johnny" +Stanhope, thanks to the officious longevity of the editor of the +county paper. + +The situation I explained briefly to Prudence and Malachy, and +swore them into the conspiracy. I threw a few clothes into a +small trunk, despatched a hypocritical note of regret to Miss +Rogers, caught the noon train, and was soon beyond the danger +line. Mrs. Lot, casting an apprehensive glance behind her, could +not have dreaded more fearful consequences than I, looking back +on the calamity I was evading. But as we went on and on into the +cool, quiet country, and felt the soft air stealing down from the +nearing mountains, I began to experience a lively sense of relief +and pleasure, and to wonder why I had so long delayed a visit to +my boyhood home. + +I am sorry for the man whose childhood knew only the roar and +bustle and swiftly shifting scenes of the city. For him there is +no return in after years, no illusion to be renewed, no joy of +youth to be substantiated. His habitation has passed away or +yielded to the inroads of commerce, his landmarks have vanished, +and he is bewildered by the strange sights that time and trade +have put upon his memories. But time has no terrors for the +country-bred boy. The Almighty does not change the mountains and +the rivers and the great rocks that fortify the scenery, and man +is slow to push back into the far meadowlands and the hillsides, +and destroy the simple, primitive life of the fathers. + +All of the joy that such a returning pilgrim might have I felt +when I left the train at the junction, and, scorning the pony +engine and combination car supplied in later years by the railway +company as a tribute to progress, set out to walk the two miles +to the village. Every foot of the country I had played over as a +boy. Here was the field where Deacon Skinner did his "hayin'"; +just beyond the deacon raised his tobacco crop. That roof over +there, which I once detected as the top of Jim Pomeroy's barn, +reminded me of the day of the raisin', when I sprained my ankle +and thereby saved myself a thrashing for running away. Here was +Pickerel Pond, the scene of many miraculous draughts, and now I +crossed Peach brook which babbled along under the road just as +saucily and untiringly as if it had slept all these years and was +just awaking to fresh life. A hundred rods up the brook was the +Widow Parsons's farm, and I knew that if I went through the side +gate, cut across the barnyard, and kept down to the left, I +should find that same old stump on which Bill Howland sat the day +he caught the biggest dace ever pulled out of the quiet pool. + +The sun was going down behind Si Thompson's planing mill as I +stopped at the little red covered bridge that marked the boundary +of the village. Silas had been dead for twenty years, but it +seemed to me that it was only yesterday that I heard his nasal +twang above the roar of the machinery: "Sa-ay, you fellers want +to git out o' that!" The little bridge had lost much of its color +and most of its impressiveness, for I remembered when to my +boyish fancy it seemed a greater triumph of engineering than the +Victoria bridge at Montreal. And the same old thrill went through +me as I started to run--just as I did when a boy--and felt the +planks loosen and creak under my feet. Here was a home-coming +worth the while. + +Hank Pettigrew kept the village tavern. The memory of man, so far +as I knew, ran not back to the time when Hank did not keep the +tavern. So I was not in the least surprised, as I entered, to see +the old man, with his chair tilted back against the wall, his +knees on a level with his chin, and his eyes fixed on a chromo of +"Muster Day," which had descended to him through successive +generations. He did not move as I advanced, or manifest the +slightest emotion of surprise, merely saying, "Hullo, Johnny," +as if he expected me to remark that mother had sent me over to +see if he had any ice cream left over from dinner. It probably +did not occur to Hank that I had been absent twenty-five years. +If it had occurred to him, he would have considered such a +trifling flight of time not worth mentioning. + +With the question of lodging and supper disposed of, and with the +modest bribe of a cigar, which Hank furtively exchanged for a +more accustomed brand of valley leaf, it was not difficult to +loosen the old landlord's tongue and secure information of my +playmates. What had become of Teddy Grover, the pride of our +school on exhibition day? Could we ever forget the afternoon he +stood up before the minister and the assembled population and +roared "Marco Bozzaris" until we were sure the sultan was quaking +in his seraglio? And how he thundered "Blaze with your serried +columns, I will not bend the knee!" To our excited imaginations +what dazzling triumphs the future held out for Teddy. + +"Yep; Ted's still a-beout. Three days in the week he drives stage +coach over to Spicerville, and the rest o' the time he does odd +jobs--sort o' tendin' round." + +And Sallie Cotton--black-eyed, curly-haired, mischievous little +sprite, the agony of the teacher and the love and admiration of +the boys! Who climbed trees, rattled to school in the butcher +wagon, never knew a lesson, but was always leading lady in the +school colloquies, and was surely destined to rise to eminence on +the American stage if she did not break her neck tumbling out of +old Skinner's walnut tree? + +"Oh, Sal; she married the Congregational minister down to +Peterfield, and was 'lected president of the Temperance Union and +secretary of the Endeavorers. Read a piece down at Fust Church +last week on 'Breakin' Away from Old Standards,' illustratin' the +alarmin' degen'racy of children nowadays." + +And George Hawley, our Achilles, our Samson, our ideal of +everything manly and courageous! Strong as an ox and brave as a +lion! Our champion in every form of athletic sports! Who looked +with contempt on girls and disdained their maidenly advances! Who +thought only of deeds of muscular prowess, and who seemed to +carry the assurance of a force that would lead armies and subdue +nations! What of George? + +"Wa-al, George was a-beout not long ago. Had your room for his +samples. Travellin' for a house down in Boston, and comes here +reg'lar. Women folks say his last line o' shirt waists war the +best they ever see." + +Oh, the times that change, and change us! Alas, the fleeting +years, good Posthumus, that work such havoc with our childhood +dreams and hopes and aspirations! + +It was a relief, after the shattering of these idols, to leave +the society of the communicative Mr. Pettigrew and wander into +the moonlight. Save as adding beauty to the scenery, the moon +was comparatively of no assistance, for so well was the little +village stamped on my memory, and so little had it changed in the +quarter of a century, that I could have walked blindfolded to any +suggested point. Naturally I turned my steps toward the home of +my youth, and as I drew near the old-fashioned, many-gabled +house, with its settled, substantial air, austere yet inviting, +its large yard with the huge elms, and the big lamp burning in +the library or "sittin'-room," where I first dolefully studied +the geography that told me of a world outside, it seemed to bend +toward me rather frigidly as if to say reproachfully: "You sold +me! you sold me!" True, dear old home; in my less prosperous days +I was guilty of the crime of selling the house that faithfully +sheltered my family for a hundred years. But have I not repented? +And have I not returned to buy you back, and to make such further +reparation as present conditions and true repentance demand? Is +this less the pleasure than the duty of wealth? + +With what sensations of delight I walked softly about the +grounds, taking note of every familiar tree and bush and stump. I +could have sworn that not a twig, not a blade of grass, had been +despoiled or had disappeared in the years that marked my absence. +I paused reverently under the old willow tree and affectionately +rubbed my legs, for from this tree my parents had cut the +instruments of torture for purposes of castigation, and its name, +the weeping willow, was always associated in my infant mind with +the direct results of contact with my unwilling person. On a +level with the top of the willow was the little attic room where +I slept, and the more sweetly when the crickets chirped, or the +summer rain beat upon the roof, and where the song of the birds +in the morning is the happiest music God has given to the +country. Back of the woodshed I found the remains of an old +grindstone, perhaps the same heavy crank I had so often +perspiringly and reluctantly turned. Indeed my reviving memories +were rather too generously connected with the strenuousness and +not the pleasures of youth, but I thought of the well-filled lot +in the old burying-ground on the hillside, and of those lying +there who had said: "My boy, I am doing this for your good." I +doubted it at the time, but perhaps they were right. At all +events the memories were growing pleasanter, for a stretch of +thirty-five years has many healing qualities, and our childhood +griefs are such little things in the afterglow. + +In the early morning I renewed my rambles, going first to the +little frame school-house, the old church with its tall spire, +the saw-mill, the deacon's cider press, the swimming pool, and a +dozen other places of boyish adventure and misadventure. Your +true sentimentalist invariably gives the preference to scenes +over persons, and is so often rewarded by the fidelity with which +they respond to his eager expectations. It was not until I had +exhausted every incident of the place that I sought out the +companions of my school-days. What strange irony of fate is that +which sends some of us out into the restless world to grow away +from our old ideals and make others, and restrains some in the +monotonous rut of village life, to drone peacefully their little +span! But happy he, who, knowing nothing, misses nothing. If +there were any village Hampdens, or mute, inglorious Miltons +among my playmates, they gave no present indications. I found the +girls considerably older than I expected, the boys less +interesting than I hoped; but they all welcomed me with that +grave, unemotional hospitality of the village, and we talked, far +into the shadows, of our schooltime, the day that is never dead +while memory endures. + +And so it came about that at the close of day I found myself +standing at the garden gate of the Eastmann cottage. Peleg +Eastmann had been our village postmaster, a grave, shy man, who +had received the federal office because the thrifty neighbors +agreed, irrespective of political feeling, that it was much less +expensive to give him the office than to support him and his two +daughters, the prettiest girls in our school. For they further +agreed that Peleg was a "shif'less sort o' critter" and never +could make a living, though he was a model postmaster and an +excellent citizen and neighbor. Hence, when it came Peleg's turn +to make the journey to the burying-ground in the village hearse, +the whole community of Meadowvale was scandalized by the +discovery that he had left his girls a comfortable little +fortune, enough to keep them in modest wealth. Meadowvale never +recovered from this shock. It felt that it had been victimized, +and that its tenderest sensibility had been violated, and when +his disconsolate daughters put up the granite shaft to their +father's memory, relating that he had been faithful and just, the +indignant political leader of the village remarked that it was +"profanation of Scriptur'." + +Thirty years ago I had stood at this little gate with one of the +Eastmann girls, escorting her home from Stella Perkins's party. I +had attempted to kiss her good-night, and she had boxed my ears, +thus contributing a disagreeable finale to an otherwise pleasant +evening. Time is a great healer and I cherished no resentment at +this late day toward the repudiator of my caresses. In fact I +smiled in recollection of the incident as I walked up the +gravelled path and knocked at the door. I wondered if the same +vivacious, rosy-cheeked girl would come to meet me, and if I +should feel in duty bound to make honorable amends. The door was +opened by a tall, spare woman, who carried a lamp. The light +reflected directly on her features, showed a face that in any +other part of the world would be called hard; in New England it +is merely resolute. It was the face of a woman fifty years of +age, with massive chin, slightly sunken cheeks, a prominent nose, +heavy eyebrows, and a high forehead rather scantily streaked by +gray hair. There was no trace of the girlish bloom I had known, +of the beauty that once had been hers, but the imperious manner +of the woman was unmistakable. + +"Mary," I began jocularly, "I have come to apologize." + +She thrust the lamp forward, peered into my face, and said, with +not the faintest trace of a smile or the slightest evidence of +embarrassment: + +"Why, that's all right, Johnny Stanhope. I accept your apology. +Come right in." + +I went in. We sat in the sitting-room and talked of our +school-days and our fortunes. I told her how I had gone down to +the city, how I had prospered, of my adventures in the world, of +my marriage--dealing very gently with my relations with the late +Mrs. Stanhope--of my bereavement and present idyllic existence. +And she told me of herself, how she had lived on and on in the +little cottage, caring only for the support and education of her +niece, Phyllis Kinglake, an orphan for nearly twenty years. "You +remember Sylvia?" she said, with the first touch of emotion. + +Did I remember Sylvia? My little fair-haired playmate with the +large eyes and the blue veins showing through the delicate beauty +of her face? Little Sylvia, who first won my boyish affection, +and with whom I made a solemn contract of marriage when we were +only seven years old? Did I not remember how I would pass her +house on my way to school, and stand at the gate and whistle +until she came shyly out, with her face as red as her little hood +and tippet, and give me her books to carry, and protest with the +ever present coquetry of girlhood that she thought I had gone +long ago? Could I ever forget how I saved my coppers, one by one, +until I had accumulated a sum large enough to buy a whole +cocoanut, which I presented to her in the proudest moment of my +life, and how the other girls tossed their heads with the +affectation of a sneer, and with pretended indifference to this +astonishing stroke of fortune? And that fatal evening when I +provoked my little beauty's wrath, and in all the receding +opportunities of "Post-Office" and "Copenhagen" she had turned +her face and rosy lips away from me, until the world was black +with a hopeless despair? And the singing-school where she was our +shining ornament, and that blissful night when I stood up with +her in the village church, while we sang our duet descriptive of +the special virtues of some particular flower nominated in the +cantata? And how, growing older and shyer, we still preserved our +youthful fancy even to the day I struck out into the world, both +believing in the endurance of the tie that would draw me back? +What caprice of fate is it that dispels the illusions of youth +and restores them tenfold in the reflection of after years and +over the gulf of the grave? Did I remember Sylvia? + +Then Mary went on to tell me of Sylvia's happy marriage to George +Kinglake, how, when little Phyllis had come, and the world was +at its brightest, the parents had been stricken down in the same +week by a virulent disease, and how, with her dying breath, the +mother had asked her sister to look after her little one and +protect her from sorrow and harm. Very simply this stern-featured +woman told the story of her efforts to do her duty to her +sister's child, and it seemed to me that her face grew softer and +her voice gentler as she went over the years they had grown older +together, while the beauty of this woman's life was glorified by +the willing sacrifices of imposed motherhood. I could not see +Phyllis, for she was spending the night with friends in another +part of the village. Next time, she hoped, I might be more +successful. + +Walking slowly to the tavern my mind still went back to my little +playmate and the golden days of youth, and if my heart grew a +little tenderer, and my eyes were moistened by the recall, what +need to be ashamed of the emotion? And if in the night I dreamed +that I was a boy again, and that a fair-haired child played with +me in the changing glow of dreamland in the best and purest +scenes of the human comedy, was it a delusion to be dispelled, a +memory to be put aside? Did I remember Sylvia? + + + + +The thought that my train was to leave at ten o'clock did not +depress me as I awoke, with the sunlight streaming through the +window, for, after all, I was obliged to admit that the monotony +of Meadowvale and the sluggishness of my village friends were +beginning to have an appreciable effect. Then the memory of +little Sylvia came to me again, and nothing seemed pleasanter, as +a benediction to the old days, than a visit to the burying-ground +where she was sleeping. The previous day I had paid the +obligations of remembrance and respect to the graves of +my kindred, and it gave me at first an uncomfortable feeling +to realize that the thought of them was less potent than +the recollection of this young girl. But was it strange or +inexcusable? Had they not lived out their lives of honored +usefulness, and grown old and weary of the battle? And had +not she passed away just as the greater joys of living were +unfolding, and the assurance of happiness was the stronger? +Poor Sylvia! + +The spectacle of a correctly dressed, middle-aged man passing +down the street, bearing a somewhat cumbersome burden of +lilies-of-the-valley and forget-me-nots, must have had its +peculiar significance to the inhabitants of the village, and many +curious glances were my reward. I passed along, however, without +explanations in distinct violation of rural etiquette. The old +caretaker of the burying-ground met me at the entrance and gave +me the directions--second path to the right, half way up the +hill, just to the left of the big elm. The old man had known me +as a boy and would have detained me in conversation, but I +pleaded that my time was short, and reluctantly he let me go my +way. Slowly up the hill I walked, occasionally pausing to place a +forget-me-not on the grave of one I had known in childhood. Even +old Barrows did not escape my passing tribute--a cynical, +cross-grained old fellow, the aversion of the boys, who tormented +him and whom he tormented with reciprocal vigor. No need of a +forget-me-not for Barrows, for he never forgot anything, so I +gave his somewhat neglected grave the token of a long stem of +little lilies, in evidence that the past was forgiven, and moved +on to avoid possible protestation. + +I paused under the wide-branching elm to recover my breath. The +assent had been arduous for a gentleman inclined to portliness +and with wind impaired by tobacco. I turned to the left, and at +that moment, just before me, a woman's figure slowly rose from +the ground. A creeping sensation possessed me. My heart bounded +and my pulses thrilled. Was this Sylvia risen from the dead? +Surely it was Sylvia's graceful girlish form! This was Sylvia's +oval face, with Sylvia's large gray eyes. In such a way Sylvia's +pretty light hair waved about her temples, and the pink and +white of her delicate complexion revealed the blue veins. +Twenty-five years had rolled back in an instant, and I was +standing in the presence of the past. Alas, the swift passing of +the illusion, for the conversation of the evening came to me. + +"You are Phyllis?" I said. + +"I am Phyllis," she answered softly--her mother's voice--"and you +are Mr. Stanhope. My aunt told me." + +I did not answer, for I was staring stupidly at her, reluctant to +abandon the pleasing fancy that my thinking of her had brought +her back from the dead again. She did not speak, but glanced +inquiringly at the flowers I held in my hand. + +"I knew your mother, Phyllis," I managed to say. "She was a very +dear playmate of my childhood. I have brought these flowers to +put upon her grave. Shall we go together?" + +The girl's eyes filled, and she pointed to the rising mound at +her feet. Silently we bent over and reverently laid the lilies +and forget-me-nots under the simple headstone. + +"May I talk to you of your mother?" I asked. + +We sat down on a rude bench in the path, and I told her of my +childhood, of the days when Sylvia and I were sweethearts, of our +little quarrels and frolics, of her mother's beauty and +gentleness. The girl laughed at the recital of our misadventures, +and the tears came into her eyes when I touched on my boyish +affection for my playmate. Then she told me of her own life, so +peaceful and happy in the little village, and in the neighboring +town, where she had been educated with all the care and diligence +of the New England impulse. I looked at my watch. + +"It is quarter past eleven," I said ruefully, "and my train left +at ten." + +"There's another train at three," she replied. "You will go home +and dine with us? We dine at twelve in the country, you know." + +If I was somewhat ashamed to face Mary Eastmann, she received us +with the same stolidity she had manifested when we first met, and +at once insisted that I should remain for dinner. "Go into the +parlor," she said abruptly. + +Phyllis plucked the sleeve of my coat. "Don't go in there," she +whispered; "that's Aunt Mary's room exclusively, and I'm afraid +you'll not find it very cheerful. Come out on the porch." + +"I know the room," I whispered back, as we went out together. "At +least I know the type. Lots of horse-hair belongings. Square +piano against the wall. Wax flowers under a glass case on the +mantel. Steel engravings of Washington crossing the Delaware. +Family album, huge Bible, and 'Famous Women of Two Centuries' on +the centre table. Seashells, blue wedgwood and German china +things mingled in delightful confusion on the what-not. If not +wax flowers, it's wax fruit." + +Phyllis laughed--how much her laugh was like her mother's--and +nodded her head. "Not a bad description," she assented; "you must +have the gift of second sight." + +"Not second sight. Suppose we call it the gift of second +childhood." + +We sat on the porch and looked down on the lawn that sloped to +the orchard, and watched the robins run across the grass. And I +pointed out to Phyllis the very tree under which Sylvia and I had +stood the day we had our first memorable quarrel, confessing that +while at the time there was no doubt in my mind that Sylvia was +clearly at fault, I was now prepared to concede, after plenty of +reflection, that possibly she might have had a reasonable defence. +The recital of this pathetic incident led to other reminiscences +connected with the old house and its grounds, and I was hardly in +the second chapter when Mary came out and ordered us in to dinner. +Mary never invited, never requested; she merely ordered. We sat at +the table, and at a severe look from Mary I stopped fumbling with +my napkin, while Phyllis--sweet saint!--folded her hands and asked +the divine blessing. Pagan philosopher that I was, I was singularly +moved by the simple faith of these two women, and I think that when +I am led back into the fold of my family creed, a girl as young and +fair and holy as Phyllis will be the angel to guide me. + +The dinner was toothsome, the environment fascinating, the +afternoon perfect, and so it came about quite naturally that I +missed the three-o'clock train. "There is nothing so disagreeable +in life," I explained apologetically to my friends, "as a hard +and fast schedule, which keeps one jumping like an electric +clock, doing sixty things every hour and never varying the +performance. Fortunately trains run every day except Sunday, and +the general order of the universe is not going to be upset +because I am not checking myself off like a section-hand." + +Perhaps Mary did not wholly coincide with my argument, but she +was called away to her sewing-circle, while Phyllis and I lounged +lazily on the porch, I continuing my reminiscences. Garrulity +is not merely the prerogative of age; the privilege of the +monologue is always that of the old boy who comes back to his +childhood's home and finds in a pretty girl a charming and +attentive listener. He is a poor orator, indeed, who cannot +improve such opportunities. At a convenient lull in the flow of +discourse we went off to ride, exploring the country roads I knew +so well, and here began new matter and new reminiscences, patiently +endured by Phyllis, who was a most delightful girl. And when we +returned late in the afternoon it was directly in the line of +circumstances that I should remain for tea; and after tea Phyllis +played and sang for me in the little parlor, for Phyllis was a +musician of no small merit. When in reply to my inquiry she sang +a simple Scotch ballad her mother had sung so touchingly many +years before, a great lump rose in my throat, and I sat far over +in the shadow that she and Mary might not see how blurred were my +eyes, and how unmanageable my emotion. At what age does it come +to a man and a philosopher that he is no longer ashamed of +honest, sympathetic tears? + +I shall never know whether it was the journey in the train, +the air and cooking of Meadowvale, or the visits to the +burying-ground, that upset me, but for the first time in a dozen +years I found myself dissatisfied with my home. I remarked to +Malachy that the roses seemed to be in a most discouraging +condition, and that the garden in general was altogether +disappointing. I noticed that my dogs barked a great deal, that +the neighbors had become most tiresome, and that Bunsey was an +unmitigated nuisance. Even the cuisine, which had been my pride +and boast, grew at times unbearable, and I had not been home a +fortnight before I astonished Prudence by positively assuring her +that the dinner she had set before me was not worth any sane +man's serious attention. Whereupon that excellent woman announced +with superb pride that she "guessed it was about time for that +Rogers woman to give another card-party." + +"Prudence," I said severely, for I encourage no flippancy on the +part of domestics, "that remark, while probably hasty and +ill-considered, borders on impertinence. I shall overlook it this +time on account of your faithful services in the past. But don't +let it happen again. In any event," I amended considerately, +"don't let it drop in my presence." + +Thinking it over I came to the conclusion that Prudence was right +in the general effect of the suggestion. What I needed was a +change of scene. Long abstention from travel and variety of +incident had made me restless and discontented. I had not been in +Europe for two years. Undoubtedly I was pining for a lazy tour of +the Continent. The thought decided me. I should book my passage +on the steamer that sailed the Saturday of the following week. + +Strangely enough, at this interesting moment, I received a letter +from the chairman of the committee on public improvements in the +village of Meadowvale, announcing that it had been resolved to +procure new rooms for the village library, and would Mr. John +Stanhope do his native village the honor of subscribing a small +amount toward this desirable end. As it is always much easier for +an indolent man to telegraph than to write letters, I replied by +wire that Mr. Stanhope felt himself much honored by the request. +Not entirely satisfied with this confession, I sent a second +telegram an hour later doubling my subscription. Still my +conscience troubled me. + +"I have not done my duty," I said to myself. "Here I am, a man of +means, I may say of large wealth, with no special obligations +resting upon me, and yet I have done nothing to benefit or enrich +my old home. It is strange that it has not occurred to me before +what a privilege, what an honor, it is to be a philanthropist +even in a small way, and with what alacrity those whom Heaven has +blessed with a fortune should respond to the calls of deserving +need. I blush for my past thoughtlessness, and I shall hasten to +atone for my astonishing neglect. My duty lies before me, and I +shall not shrink from it, whatever the personal inconvenience." + +Thereupon I telegraphed for the third time to the chairman that +it would give Mr. Stanhope the greatest pleasure to put up a +suitable library for the village of Meadowvale, and, in order to +guard against any possible misunderstanding, he would depart the +following day to confer with the committee as to site and +probable extent of the structure. This concession to my +conscience comforted me greatly, and I prepared for my journey +with a lightness that was almost buoyancy. The chairman and two +of the committee met me at the junction. They were most +deprecatory and apologetic, and mentioned with evident sorrow +the absence of several of the members which might cause a +postponement of the conference until the following day. I bore up +under this intelligence with astonishing cheerfulness. + +"My good friends," I said, "don't let this disturb you for a +minute. I am not so pressed for time that I cannot wait on your +reasonable convenience. Your tavern is well kept and the food is +wholesome. I think I may say that my old friends in Meadowvale +will interest me until we can come to an amicable understanding. +Suppose, to be sure of a full meeting, that we fix the time of +conference at day after to-morrow--a little late in the +afternoon." + +After this suggestion had been received with suitable expressions +of gratitude, we journeyed together to the village, where I was +duly turned over to old Pettigrew. And then, as the day was by no +means done, I strolled down the street and, most naturally and +quite unthinkingly, found myself a few minutes later looking over +the Eastmann gate at Phyllis on the porch. To say that this +charming girl was surprised by my sudden appearance was no less +true than to admit that she did not seem in the least displeased. +I positively had no intention of going in, but before I knew it I +was sitting beside her, relating in the most casual way the +reason of my coming. + +"How good it was of you," said the ingenuous creature, "and how +delighted and grateful Meadowvale will be. It must be glorious to +be rich enough to do things for other people." + +Now it is not a disagreeable sensation to feel that one is rich +and good and glorious in the large gray eyes of a very pretty +woman, and I was conscious of the mild intoxication from the +compliment. "It is, indeed," I answered magnanimously. "I have +always maintained that money is given to us in trust for those +around us, and that in making others happy we find our greatest +happiness. I regret that I have not wholly lived up to this +undeniably correct principle." + +"It will require at least a thousand dollars," she said naively. + +"Oh, at least." + +She was silent a moment. Then she said: "I was wondering what I +would do if I had a thousand dollars to give away." + +"What do you think you would do?" + +"Speaking for my own preferences I think I should like to +establish a country club." + +"The very thing. If there is one crying want more than another in +Meadowvale it is a country club, with golf links, tennis courts, +and shower baths." + +"Now you are laughing at me." + +"Not at all. Fancy old Hank and you playing a foursome with Aunt +Mary and me for the cider and apples. Why, it would add years of +robustness to our waning lives." + +"No," said the girl decisively. "It isn't feasible." + +"Then," I went on musingly, "we might have an Art Institute, or +the Phyllis Kinglake School of Expression, or the Meadowvale +Woman's Club, or the Colonial Dames, or, best of all, the +Daughters of the American Revolution." + +"That shows how little you appreciate the local situation," she +responded quickly, "for your best of all is worse and worse. +Imagine an order of Daughters in a place where every woman's +ancestors did nothing but fight in the Revolution. As well call a +town meeting at once. Ah,"--with a sigh--"I see that I shall +never spend the thousand dollars in Meadowvale." + +"Don't be too sure of that, my dear Phyllis," I exclaimed in an +outburst, for I was in a particularly happy and generous mood; +"and remember that when you do decide how the money is to be +philanthropically invested we shall see that it is forthcoming." + +With such agreeable banter the minutes slipped away, and when +Mary appeared with the customary invitation to tea, it would have +been a jolt to the harmonious order of things to decline. I +cannot say that I have ever cordially approved the austerity of +the New England tea-table, with its cold bread and biscuits, its +applesauce, its frugal allowance of sardines, its basket of cake, +and its not very stimulating pot of tea. But such are the +compensations of pleasant society that even these chilly viands +may be forgotten, and I said my "Amen" to Phyllis's sweet and +modest grace with all the heartiness of a thankful man. As no +gentleman may, with propriety, run away immediately after he has +accepted hospitality, I lingered in the evening, and we had more +music, which so calmed and rested me that I wondered at my past +nervousness and marvelled that I had even contemplated a journey +across the water. + +How it came about that the next morning Phyllis and I were +strolling over the village, down by the river and into the +pleasant woods, I have forgotten, but I dare say that we were +discussing further developments of philanthropy, and endeavoring +to come to a conclusion as to the proper disposition of that +troublesome thousand dollars. The girl was so young and +joyous, so pretty, so arch, so fascinating with that little +coquettishness that is not the usual type of the Puritan maiden, +I could not find it in my heart to remember Mary's words and "try +to instil in her a closer appreciation of the more serious +purposes of life." Indeed life is so serious that it is one of +the blessed decrees of Mother Nature that we have that brief +allotment of time when it is too serious to think about, and +youth passes so quickly that it is criminal to rob it of its +golden hour. In such a presence I felt my own spirits rising, my +step becoming springy, my whole nature less sluggish, and, had I +looked in the mirror, I should have confidently expected to see a +youthful bloom in my cheeks and a return of hair to primary +conditions. + +It is due to this interesting young woman to say that she coyly +urged me not to forget my other friends, since I was to leave so +soon, and it pleased me to fancy that she was not altogether +offended when I spoke somewhat hastily and rather flippantly of +those of my former companions who had lapsed into tediousness. I +reminded her also that as the happiest memory of my childhood was +associated with her mother, so it was sweet to me to be with her +and live again, in a pleasant dream, the brightness of the past. +Then, for her mother's sake, she shyly let me take her hand while +I went over again, not without emotion, the story of my early +love. Dear little Sylvia! + +The meeting of the committee was followed by a general +congregation of citizens, and I was invited to the platform, +where I outlined my plans. I hinted that the library was merely +the beginning of a number of beneficences which I desired to +contribute to Meadowvale's prosperity, and as I looked down upon +my listeners and caught sight of Phyllis, glancing up with +flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes, I was nearly betrayed into +promises of the most preposterous nature. At the end of +my remarks--I recall that I spoke with unusual grace and +eloquence--the chairman stood up and gravely thanked me, +intimating that I was a credit to Meadowvale and its perfect +public school system. I fancy I should have been applauded if it +had been compatible with the nature of the people of Meadowvale +to make so riotous a demonstration. At the close of the meeting +it happened, by the purest accident, that I walked home with Mary +and Phyllis, and when Mary said in her blunt way that I really +had been most generous, Phyllis did not speak, but she slipped +her hand under my arm and gave me an appreciative little squeeze, +which made me regret that I had not pledged another thousand. + +I was to leave the next morning, thanks to the officious members +of the committee, who had so blunderingly hurried matters to +accommodate me that I had no longer an excuse of remaining. And +it was for this reason that I went in and sat again in the little +parlor, while Phyllis sang for me the songs that were my +favorites, and some her mother sang in the long ago. Memories +were again pleasantly stirred within me, as was not infrequent in +those days, and I experienced all the happiness that comes to him +who is persuaded that he has made himself a little above the +ordinary attractions of the earth. In this excess of good +feeling, and stimulated alike by the music and the consciousness +of a philanthropic impulse, I waited until the moment of parting +before declaring definitely my excellent intentions. + +"My dear Mary," I began, turning to that admirable spinster, "you +know how our childhood was linked by a close family feeling, and +how you and Sylvia and I planned in our simple ambitions to live +together in the great world outside. We may say now that this was +childish romance, and that the caprice of time has made it an +idle fancy. For many years we have been separated, and only by a +happy chance have we been brought together. Fortune has been kind +to me. I am called a rich man, and I believe I may say without +boasting that I am far beyond the need of anxiety. But to a +degree I am a lonely man. My sister's child is my one near +relative in the world, and he is a young man with an excellent +business, able to take care of himself, and naturally engrossed +with his own occupations. You can understand that at my time of +life, alone as I am, and still young enough to appreciate the +joys of living, I have a feeling of desolation for which no +riches can compensate. Had fortune given me a daughter, like our +Phyllis here, I think no happiness could have been so great. It +has pleased me to look back upon the past, to recall the days of +our childhood, and to see in Phyllis the image of her mother. Why +can I not link the present and the future with the past? Why can +I not look on Phyllis as my own daughter, and give to her all the +father love I have learned to feel? I do not rob you either of +her love or her presence. I merely add a new joy to my life, and +know that in caring for you both and in contributing to her +happiness, and securing her against misfortune after we are taken +away, I am carrying out the pledge, however idle at the time, I +made to Sylvia." + +I fancied I saw what may have been the suspicion of a tear in +Mary Eastmann's eye. It vanished as quickly as it came, and when +she spoke and thanked me for my generous offer, her voice was as +calm and her manner as collected as if I had made a casual +suggestion for attendance at a prayer meeting. She could not +deny that the opportunity was too enticing to be ignored, and +she admitted that my fatherly proposition was distinctly +advantageous. Her New England independence rather revolted at the +thought of any immediate financial assistance, which was not +needed, while her New England thrift approved a future settlement +based on family friendliness of many years' standing. On the +whole she was inclined to be favorable to my point of view. + +As for Phyllis, she had listened to me with undisguised +amazement. Her big gray eyes had grown larger, and the color left +her cheeks as I finished. Then the rosy red rushed back, her lip +quivered and the tears sprang to her eyes. A moment later she +smiled, then laughed, and was serious again. How incomprehensible +are these young girls! Poor child! she had never known a father's +love. + +Phyllis followed me to the door. The light, streaming from the +parlor, shone squarely on her exquisite face. A thrill of +pleasure went through me as I realized that at last I had a +daughter whom I could love and cherish. I took her hand in both +of mine, and, as I released it, I parted the light, wavy hair, +and kissed her forehead. It seemed to me that she trembled +slightly, but in a moment she was herself, and a gleam of +merriment was in her eyes, as she said: + +"Of course you will write to me--papa?" + +Doubtless the novelty of the situation made me just a little +embarrassed. To be called "papa" the first time by a pretty girl +was more embarrassing than I had expected. And why that +half-laugh in her eye, and why that almost quizzical tone? Was I +not kind and good enough to be her father, and had I not tried to +show her every paternal consideration? Was I not honestly +endeavoring to fulfil a sacred pledge? I was perplexed but not +discouraged. "I will prove to her," I said to myself with +firmness, "that I am entirely worthy of her filial affection, and +that she may lean confidently upon me." And I went straightway +to bed, and dreamed of her all night as every true father should +dream of the daughter of his heart and his hope. + + + + +In the very nature of things it was necessary that I should +return frequently to Meadowvale, to confer with the village +committee and make all proper arrangements for beginning so +important a local enterprise. While this put an end to my +projected trip to Europe I accepted the situation with calmness +and forbearance, satisfied that in the pursuit of duty and in +giving happiness to my fellow creatures I should have the reward +of an approving conscience. To my nephew, Frederick Grinnell, I +gave the task of preparing the plans, and his excellent +suggestions were cordially adopted. Much of my spare time--and it +is amazing how much spare time one has in a village--was spent at +the Eastmann cottage with my new daughter, and in the evening I +talked to her of the world outside, quite, I fancy, as Othello +may have spoken to Desdemona, but with a more conservative and a +better impulse. I unfolded to her the wonders of great London, +the pleasures of Paris, the beauties of Venice, the sacred +mysteries of Rome, the noble traditions of Athens. I journeyed +with her up the Nile and down the Rhine. One night we were in gay +Vienna, another in Berlin, a third in the grandeur of the +Alhambra. From the fjords of Norway to the tea houses of Japan +was the journey of a few minutes, and the indifference of my +surfeited life gave way before the kindling enthusiasm of this +lovely country girl, whose world had been the area of scarcely +more than a township. + +But the paternal relation, however honest and commendable my +intentions, did not seem to thrive as I had fondly hoped. Only in +her teasing moments would this vivacious creature admit the +solemnity of our compact, and when she called me "papa" there was +always that gleam of the eye, with that merriment of tone, which +may not have been disrespectful but was certainly not filial. +This troubled me exceedingly. I thought it all over and one night +I said to her: + +"My dear Phyllis, it has become only too evident that you do not +entertain that deferential feeling for me which a daughter should +have for a father. I shall not describe your emotions as I have +analyzed them, but I am satisfied that we shall not make a +complete success of my long cherished plan. However, I am not +prepared to withdraw unreservedly from my schemes for your +comfort and happiness, and since you cannot look upon me as a +father, or treat me like a father, I have another suggestion to +offer. Let me be your elder brother, and watch over and guard you +as a brother's duty should direct. There shall be no diminution +of my love, no retraction of my promises. Perhaps, in the feeling +that I am your brother, you will talk with me with greater +frankness, and feel more closely drawn to me, and we shall be all +the better and the happier for the change." + +Thus speaking I took her pretty hand and carried it respectfully +to my lips, at the same time patting it affectionately and +assuring her of my brotherly devotion. And this incomprehensible +girl threw back her head and laughed; then burst into tears, +laughed again, flushed to crimson and ran out of the room. I was +grieved beyond measure. Had I done wrong so quickly and rudely to +sever a connection so holy? Had the filial feeling been suddenly +awakened in her breast? Was I depriving this poor child of a +tender paternal care, for which she longed, but which maidenly +coyness could not immediately accept? + +As a philosopher I have made woman the subject of much research, +and my library bears witness to the attention I have paid to the +written opinions of the ablest writers and thinkers of all times, +who have had anything to do with this fascinating theme. I have +seen her in all her phases, analyzed her in all her emotions, and +Bunsey has admitted to me that my theoretical knowledge has been +of great value to him in dealing subtly with his heroines. And +yet, despite my complete equipment in mental construction, I am +constantly surprised by a new development, a sudden and +unaccountable phenomenon of feminine nature, which undoubtedly +escaped the experience and reasoning of the experts and sages. It +is indeed a matter of pride in woman that while man has studied +her for thousands of years, she continues to exhibit fresh +delights in her infinite variety of moods and to put forth +unexpectedly new and astounding shoots. + +I saw Phyllis no more that evening, save in my dreams, and it +was wholly creditable to the goodness of my motives and the +sincerity of my affection that she abided with me in my +slumbering fancies with no protracted intermissions. The next +day she was as sweet and gracious as ever, but I thought her +tone a little constrained, and when, as a father or brother +should, I ventured to speak of the tenderness of our family +relation, a half-imploring look came into her beautiful eyes. +And when I casually remarked on the softness of her hair, or the +slenderness of her fingers, her glance was timidly reproachful. +All this gave me great unhappiness, and I discovered, to my further +distress, that in my attempt to return to the old familiar footing +I was neglecting the committee and losing interest in the affairs of +the library. A certain peevishness took possession of me; I was +no longer myself, and I lost the gayety and sprightliness which +had been always my distinguishing virtues. + +Furthermore I missed the companionship and solace of my books in +this emergency, for I had no reference library to which I could +go in Meadowvale for aid in establishing the true condition of +this strange girl. I recalled dimly that somewhere on my shelves +was a volume which contained a fairly analogous case, but while I +knew that I possessed such a book I could not remember the +circumstances or the incidents cited, and this added to my +unrest. Only a student can understand the absolute wretchedness +which overtakes a man when he finds himself miserably dependent +on a distant library. For several days I gave myself up entirely +to my mental depression, greatly wondering at the perplexing +change in my life, and marvelling that in all my explorations in +philosophy I had not provided for just such a crisis, whatever it +might be. One afternoon as I sat in my room at the tavern, +looking idly out of the window and across the little river which +rippled by, something seemed to strike me violently in the +forehead. It may have been a telepathic suggestion, it may have +been a return to consciousness; at all events it was an idea. I +leaped from my chair, put on my hat, and proceeded rather +feverishly to the Eastmann cottage. Phyllis was away for the day; +Mary was knitting in the sitting-room. I watched her in silence +for a moment, and then I said abruptly: + +"Mary, I think I should like to marry Phyllis." + +Mary Eastmann was not the type of woman to lose herself or betray +astonishment. She pushed her spectacles sharply above her eyes, +looked at me sternly, and said in a rasping voice. + +"John Stanhope, don't be an old fool." + +"Whatever I may be, Mary," I answered, much nettled by her tone, +"I do not think anybody can properly regard me as a fool. As for +the other qualification," I went on complacently, "I am not so +old." + +"You and Sylvia were the same age, and she would have been +forty-eight." + +"A man is as old as he feels," I ventured, finding refuge in a +proverb. + +"That is evasive, and has nothing to do with the question. +Beside, what reason have you to believe that Phyllis has the +slightest desire to marry you?" + +"Frankly, not the slightest reason in the world," I replied with +the utmost candor. "That is why I have been so bold as to speak +to you on the subject." + +"Perhaps you thought I might use my influence to help you +along?" + +"Quite the contrary, my dear Mary, I assure you. I may not know +very much about women"--I was quite humble when separated from my +library--"but I do know that nothing is so fatal to a lover's +prospects as the encouragement of the loved one's relations. You +see that I am perfectly frank." + +"Then you wish my opposition?" + +"Come, let us be reasonable. I have told you I wish to marry +Phyllis. I know my good points, and I am not unacquainted with my +weak ones. Unhappily I can figure out my age to a day. Alas, I am +forty-eight, and Phyllis is not yet twenty-three. The difference +is positively ghastly from a sentimental standpoint, but if I +love her, and she is not hopelessly indifferent to me, I think +that even that difficulty can be bridged. You know my position, +my character, my general reputation. Neither of us knows what +Phyllis really thinks or what she will say or do in the matter. I +do not ask either for your opposition or your good offices. I +have come to you as an old friend and the girl's nearest +relative to tell you exactly how I feel and what I wish to gain. +And I ask only that I may have the same chance to win her +affection that you might grant to a younger man." + +Mary's voice was gentler when she spoke again. "John," she said, +"Phyllis is all I have in the world. It is my one idea to have +her happily married to a worthy man whom she honestly loves. +Providence, in inscrutable wisdom, may have decreed that you are +that man, but," she continued with a sudden return of Yankee +caution, "I have my doubts, considering your age. However, you +have acted honorably in coming to me, and while I think Phyllis +would be a better daughter than wife to you, I cannot speak for +her. Remember that she is very young and very inexperienced. Her +acquaintance with men has been slight. You are a man of the world +and with enough of the surface polish--I don't say it stops with +that--to dazzle any girl accustomed to such surroundings as we +have here. Undoubtedly an offer from you would flatter her; it +might induce her to accept you, thinking that she loved you. Be +careful. Be sure of your ground before it is too late." + +As I walked back to the village I mused on what Mary had said, +but I felt no apprehension. Most lovers are alike in this--in +youth, in middle age, in senility. Perhaps the advantage of +middle life is that a man is more the master of himself, more in +possession of the faculties necessary to carry him through a +crisis. Without the impetuous desire of youth, or the deadened +sensibilities of old age, he has a certain serene confidence that +is a mixture of love and philosophy. It disturbed me somewhat to +find with what equanimity I faced a situation which promised +nothing. It really annoyed me to note that I was picking out +mentally the place to which I should conduct Phyllis in order to +have the harmonious environment adapted to a sentimental +proposition. I remembered that down by the river, just beyond +the willows, there was an old tree where Sylvia and I--ah, so +many years ago!--had sat and talked of our lives before us. To +that sacred spot I would lead Sylvia's daughter, and, passing +gently from the past to the present, I would tell her of my love +and of my fondest hopes. How dignified and appropriate such a +spot for a frank, calm, and self-contained avowal! + +Thus philosophically and amiably plotting I walked contentedly +along, and, looking up, I saw Phyllis coming toward me, swinging +her hat in her hand, and suggesting in her girlish beauty and +graceful outline the poet's shepherdess. She did not see me, and, +yielding to a sudden impulse, I stepped quickly aside in the +shadow of a neighbor's house, as she passed on with her eyes on +the ground. I followed at a little distance, and discovered, +much to my dismay, that she chose the road that led to the +burying-ground. Now a cemetery is not at all the spot that a man, +whatever his philosophy, would select for a tender declaration, +but I was buoyed by the remembrance of Mary's words. "The finger +of Providence may be in it," I muttered. "The Lord's will be +done." + +Slowly up the winding path she walked, and I as slowly followed. +When I reached her, she was standing at her mother's grave, just +as she had stood the morning we first met. I tried to accept this +as an omen, but failed miserably, and omens, after all, depend on +the point of view. She raised her eyes, and, seeing me, blushed, +another omen which means comparatively little to a man who is +aware of the thousand emotions that are responsible for the blush +of woman. I was again annoyed by the discovery that my pulses +were not beating wildly, and that my heart was not throbbing +tumultuously, and when I addressed a commonplace remark to her I +was thoroughly ashamed and humiliated. It seemed like taking a +mean advantage of innocence and inexperience. + +We sat together on the little bench, and for the first time in +our acquaintance she appeared embarrassed, as if she knew what +was passing in my mind. I have always believed that women, in +addition to their acknowledged intuition, have a special sense +that enables them to anticipate a declaration of passion, and I +had no doubt that Phyllis was fully prepared for my confession in +spite of her embarrassment. This induced me to proceed to the +point without unnecessary preliminaries. + +"Phyllis," I said, not without a certain agreeable ardor, "I have +been talking with Aunt Mary." + +"Indeed?" + +"And about you." + +"Really?" + +"When I say that I have been talking with Aunt Mary, and about +you," I continued in a grieved tone, for I do not like jerky +responses, "I wish you to understand that it was in connection +with no ordinary topic. Phyllis,"--I spoke with the utmost +tenderness--"can you not guess the nature of our discussion?" + +Phyllis was equal to the emergency; her embarrassment had +disappeared. "I am glad," she said, "that your conversation so +far as it related to me was out of the ordinary. I suppose I may +ask what the topic was--that is, if you don't mind telling." + +This was approaching the serious. "Phyllis, I was telling Aunt +Mary that I loved you and wished to make you my wife." + +A flash, half merry, half angry, came to her eye. "That was +thoughtful of you. Is it customary for gentlemen in the city, +when they think they love a girl, to honor all her relations with +their confidence before they speak to the girl herself?" + +I took her hand. She made the slightest motion to withdraw it, +and permitted it to remain in my grasp. "Phyllis," I said with +all earnestness, "do not misunderstand me. I sought you at the +house. You were absent. Your Aunt Mary and I have been friends +from childhood, and it was only natural that out of my heart I +spoke the words that were in my mind. I told her that I loved +you, just as at that moment I might have shouted it from the +housetop. My heart was full of you and I had to speak. Can't you +understand?" + +The girl was still obdurate, and she spoke with some petulance. +"If that is the case, perhaps it is just as well that it was Aunt +Mary and not one of the neighbors." + +"Dear little Phyllis, you are not angry with me because I love +you? You cannot remain angry with me because I confessed my love +before I met you to-day? If you had only seen with what +applications of cold water your aunt rewarded my confidence, you +would pity and not reproach me." + +For a minute the girl was silent. Then she asked softly: "How +long have you known that you loved me?" + +"Must I answer that question candidly and unreservedly?" + +"Unreservedly and candidly." + +I seized her other hand and held her firmly. "About fifty +minutes." + +She laughed, rather joyously I thought. "And having loved me for +fully fifty minutes, you wish to make me your wife? Confiding +man!" + +"Little girl," I said tenderly, "let us be serious. If my dull +consciousness did not awaken till an hour ago, my heart tells me +that I have loved you ever since I first saw you standing near +this spot. I am not going to ask you now whether you love me, or +ever can learn to love me. It is happiness enough for me to-day +to know how much I love you, and to know that I have told you of +that love. I do not care to have my dream too rudely and too +suddenly dispelled. Very probably you do not care for me as I +should like to have you care for me, but do not make a jest of my +affection. I am wholly aware of the preposterousness of my +demands in many respects"--this sounded very conventional and +commonplace, but every lover must say it--"and, believe me, I +shudder when I think of what I have dared confess." + +Then she said with the most delightful demureness: "Mr. Stanhope, +is it likely that a girl would sit in a burying-ground on a bench +with a gentleman, allowing him to hold both her hands, unless she +cared for him a little--just a little?" + +Up to this moment I had fairly forgotten that I was depriving her +of all power of resistance, but with such encouragement I took an +even more sympathetic grasp and sat a trifle closer, while the +minutes ticked away. A robin flew down from the tree near by and +saucily hopped toward us, until at a rebuking call from his mate +he flew away, and I fancied that I could hear them talking over +the situation, and drawing conclusions from their own happiness. +Phyllis was the first to break the charming spell. + +"Mr. Stanhope," she asked, hardly above a whisper, "what did Aunt +Mary say when you told her that you wished to make me your +wife?" + +"She said, Phyllis, that Providence may have decreed that I am +the man to bring you happiness." + +And still in that same enchanting whisper, with her face a little +rosier, as she half hid it below my shoulder: "Mr. Stanhope, do +you think that a girl with my Christian training could fly in the +face of Providence?" + + + + +The philosopher was in love. It comes, I have no doubt, to every +well-ordered man to be in love once. Some there are who maintain, +with plausibility, that the passion we call love may be of +frequent recurrence, and they point to the passing fancies of +boys and girls, the romances of moonlight, the repeated sighings +of the fickle Corydon, and the matrimonial entanglements of the +aging Lydia, as evidence for their argument. That there are +varying degrees of the ecstatic emotion cannot be truthfully +denied. Heaven has wisely decreed that the heart, once filled +with its ideal, may be compensated for the bitter hour of sorrow +by the soothing balm of a new affection, and it is even possible +that the second love may be more satisfying than the first, the +third or fourth more typical of exaltation than its predecessors. +But love, whether early or late, in the perfect absorption of the +faculties comes only once; as compared with this remarkable +mental state all other conditions are unemotional, unfilling. + +The true lover rises early, before the world is astir. If it is +summer and in the country, his thoughts lead him to the cool +groves, the shady banks of the river, the retired spots where he +may uninterruptedly commune with his happiness or his misery, and +reflect on the blessings that are to be, or should be, his. Was +it not then as a true lover that in the early morning I walked +into the country, and down the banks of the stream where Sylvia +and I had strayed and talked in the sunny days of youth? And +nature seemed a part of the wedding procession, and the squirrels +on the fence rails, and the robins, wrens, and wood-thrushes in +the trees chirped and twittered: "John Stanhope is in love! John +Stanhope is in love!" And the mocking crow, lazily flapping his +wings at a safe distance, croaked enviously: "Ha, ha! old +Stanhope is in love. Ha, ha!" Yet the whole conspiracy of +animated nature could not make old Stanhope in his present +exaltation regretful of his age or ashamed of his passion. + +Mary Eastmann had accepted the situation without comment. She +neither congratulated nor demurred, but went on with her +household duties with the same method and precision as before. +Men may come and go, hearts may be won and lost, republics may +totter and empires may fall, but the grand scheme of sweeping, +dusting, bed-making, and cooking knows no interruption. If I did +not understand I at least commended this housewifely prudence, +and often when the domestic battle was at its height I would +spirit away my little charmer for the discussion of topics within +my comprehension. At the outset I had declared that while it had +pleased Providence to begin our romance in a burying-ground, I +did not propose to sacrifice all tender sentiment to meditations +among the tombs, and I bore her away to the old tree down by the +river, where we sat for hours together as I unfolded my plans for +our future life. + +A man who has sat at the feet of the philosophers from Ovid to +Schopenhauer, and has gorged his intellect with the abstract +principles of love, naturally adapts himself to the professorial +capacity, and I soon saw that Phyllis, while one of the most +lovable, one of the sweetest of girls, was almost wholly ignorant +of the psychology of passion. I could not expect that a young +girl of twenty-two would discourse glibly of the emotion in its +intellectual phase, but I could not bear the thought that she +should enter lightly into so serious a compact, and without +gaining a reasonable comprehension of its mental analysis. Hence, +as opportunity presented, I enriched her mind with the beauties +of love from the standpoint of philosophers and thinkers, and +showed her the priceless blessings that must result from a union +dictated by careful provision of reasoning. To these addresses +she listened with sweet patience, and if she did not always grasp +their meaning, she showed much admiration for my erudition and +frequently remarked that she had no idea that love was so +abstruse a science. It seemed to me, in the serenity of my years +and the calm assurance of my love, that I was a most persistent +wooer, and I was greatly grieved when she broke out rather +petulantly one afternoon: + +"I don't believe you really love me." + +"You don't believe I love you? And why?" + +She hesitated, half abashed by her own outburst, then added a +little defiantly: "Well, in the first place, you never quarrel +with me." + +"And why should I quarrel with you? Aren't you the most amiable, +the most perfect little woman in the world?" + +"Oh, of course; I know all that. But I have always read, and +always believed, that when two persons are truly, deeply in love, +they have most exciting quarrels. Is it not true that in all +romances the man is eternally quarrelling with the girl and +bidding her farewell forever?" + +"Yes, and coming back in ten minutes to weep and grovel at her +feet and beg her to forgive him. My dear little Phyllis, why +should I bid you farewell forever, when I am morally certain that +in half that time I should be cringing in the turf, weeping and +begging you to say that all is forgiven and forgotten?" + +"That would be lovely," she said pensively. + +"Perhaps, but it would be very undignified and unnecessary. And I +am not at all sure that you would admire me in that attitude even +if I did imitate the heroes of romance. A weeping lover is much +more agreeable in a novel than in actual life. However if you +insist that we must quarrel, in order to demonstrate the +sincerity of my affection, I shall suggest that we have our spats +when we part for the night, in order that no precious waking +hours may be lost." + +"You are joking," she exclaimed with a little pout. + +"Not at all. Still," I added reflectively, "even this plan has +its disadvantages, for if we quarrel when we part at night, it +will necessitate my return to your window, which would not only +annoy your aunt but might scandalize the neighbors. Furthermore +it might give me a shocking cold, unless you immediately +repented, for the nights are very damp. No," I sighed with great +feeling, "all this seems impracticable. You must give me a better +reason for my coldness." + +Phyllis toyed with a clover blossom, and made no answer. I went +on: + +"As a slight indication of my unlover-like hauteur, let me +confess that I am going to bring you a marvellously glittering +bauble when I come back from the city, something that will +bewilder you by day and dazzle you by night." + +She shrugged her shoulders. "Of course you are; you are always +giving me presents." + +I laughed at this. "Well, suppose I am; I have never heard that +it is a sign of waning affection to bestow gifts on the loved +one." + +"You refuse me nothing. I dare say you would give me the Boston +State House if I wished it." + +"No, you are wrong there," I replied decisively. "If I bought the +State House I should be compelled to include the emblematic +codfish, and you know my aversion to codfish." + +She smiled at the thought, recalling the Sunday breakfast, and +then with a roguish look and a half-embarrassed laugh she said: +"At all events you cannot deny that you did not kiss me when you +left last night." + +"Didn't I?" I asked in amazement, and then, quite thrown off my +guard, I added thoughtlessly: "I had forgotten." + +"That," she replied quietly, "was because you were so taken up +with the philosophy of love, and the mental attitude, that you +overlooked the physical demonstration. Do you remember the +conversation?" + +Unfortunately I did. I recalled that I had spent an hour or more +defining the moral status of love and proving the sufficing +reason. It was not a pleasant reflection that so agreeable and +instructive a conversation was not thoroughly appreciated. + +"We spoke at length on love," I ventured feebly. + +"That is, you did," she replied. "I'll admit that it was better +than an ordinary sermon, because the subject was more personal. +But don't you think we admitted the sufficing reason at +the start, and isn't it natural that a girl who has been +conventionally brought up is pretty well satisfied in her own +mind of the moral status? Of course," she added, with a toss of +her pretty head, "I am not asking you or anybody else to kiss me. +I am merely curious to know if this plays any part in the +philosophy of love as understood by the greatest thinkers." + +Her speech had given me time to pull myself together. "No," I +said with marked emphasis, "I did not kiss you, because I had +noted the unworthy suspicions you have expressed to-day, and +I was hurt and grieved. It was hard for me to exhibit my +displeasure in this way, and I am regretful now that I have +learned that it was simply playfulness on your part. Don't +interrupt. I am satisfied that the pure merriment of your nature +is responsible for this assault, and I shall take great pleasure +in making up this evening for the deficiencies of last night." + +She laughed and we were friends again. And with such jocular +asperities the days passed quickly and agreeably until my nephew +arrived with the plans and specifications. Frederick Grinnell was +not only my nephew, but an architect of reputation and promise, +considering his years and experience. Like Phyllis he had been +left an orphan early in life, and it had been my pleasure and +privilege to give him an education and see that he was fairly +started in life. While I think I may say that Frederick was not +quite so attractive as was I at his age, he was nevertheless a +fine, manly young fellow, tall, well put together, of good +habits, industrious and devoted to his profession. It pleased me +to see that he admired Phyllis's pretty face and bright, animated +manner; but one evening, when I fancied that he was too deeply +stirred by her really beautiful voice, I took the opportunity to +converse with him confidentially as we walked back to the tavern. + +"I have been intending to tell you, Frederick," I began a little +airily, "of the relations existing between Miss Kinglake and +myself. So far it has been a profound secret"--I did not then +know that the entire village was gossiping about it--"but I feel +that I owe it to you, as my nearest relative, to admit that Miss +Kinglake and I are engaged." + +I paused, and noting that he did not wince or appear in the least +degree discomposed, continued: + +"Of course you will respect my confidence in this matter. Of +course," I added magnanimously, "it will be perfectly proper for +you to signify to Miss Kinglake that you are aware of our little +secret as that will put us all on a better basis and lead to no +misunderstandings. It would be awkward to play at cross purposes, +and I should be extremely sorry, my dear boy, to think that I had +withheld anything from you, for you have always enjoyed my +fullest trust." + +Whatever he may have thought, his manner betrayed no unusual +interest. "I congratulate you," he replied very calmly. + +Now that so perfect an understanding existed in the immediate +family circle, I gave myself no further uneasiness. I was truly +rejoiced to notice that Frederick was deferentially polite to +Phyllis, and I encouraged him to show her those polite attentions +which my betrothed would reasonably expect from my nephew. And at +times I even insisted that he should represent me at certain +gatherings of Phyllis's friends, who were too young and +frivolous to claim my serious attention. When he protested, and +pleaded headache, business, or other sign of disinclination, I +rallied him good-humoredly on his lack of gallantry. + +"Nonsense, my boy," I argued; "a young fellow of your spirit +should be only too glad to go out with a pretty girl and enjoy +himself. You certainly would not deprive Phyllis of an evening's +pleasure because your uncle has a stiff knee which interferes +with his dancing, and--confound it, you know they never let me +smoke at these frolics. Come now, be a good fellow and show the +proper family impulse." + +As they went off together I looked at them admiringly and rather +fancied that I saw in them a suggestion of what Sylvia and I had +been when we made the rounds of the birthday parties. For it is +fair to confess that the image of Sylvia did not infrequently +rise before me, and I constantly saw in Phyllis the replica of +her adorable mother. In my happiest moments I spoke of this +suggestion to Phyllis, and continued to regale her with fragments +of my early life associated with her family. At first I thought +that the girl was somewhat piqued, fearing that Frederick was +thrust upon her, although she admitted that he was good-looking, +polite, and danced extremely well, but I succeeded in convincing +her that true love should not be gauged by the low standards of +hot-night dancing, and that all philosophers agree that the +purest affection springs from quiet contemplation, such as I +should enjoy while she was making merry with her friends. To this +she once ventured to remark that in that case perhaps my +affection would thrive to greater advantage if I contented myself +with thinking about her and not seeing her at all, a suggestion +which wounded me in my tenderest sensibilities, for I was +very much in love. I was also not a little disturbed when, +supplemental to my reminiscences, Mary went back to the past and +humorously drew pictures of me as her own early lover. There is +considerable difference between the impalpable, airy spirit of +the fancy and a wrinkled and austere feminine actuality of fifty. + +In the midst of these innocent and improving pleasures a small +cloud appeared in the summer sky. I received a letter addressed +in a peculiar but not ornate hand, and I opened it with +misgivings and read it with consternation. + + MR. STANHOPE SIR: Prudence and I thinks youd better come home. + The plummer was hear twice yisterday and the cutworms is awfle. + Hero got glass in her foot and the brown tale moths is bad + again wich is al for the presnt. + + Respecfuly + + MALACHY. + +Duty is one of the exactions of life which I have never shirked +when there seemed no possible way of evading it, but in this +instance the call of duty was compromised by matters of equal +urgency, for nothing can be more important than the successful +administration of the affairs of love. It was a happy thought +that suggested to me a way out of the difficulty, which was +neither more nor less than that we should all go to the city +together. I sprang the proposition at a family conference. +Phyllis was delighted. "There is always so much to be seen in the +city," she cried, "and I shall meet Mr. Bunsey. It has been one +of the dreams of my life to know a real literary man." + +This appeared to call for an explanation. Heaven knows I am not +jealous of Bunsey, and would not deprive him of a single +distinction that is honestly his. But a regard for the truth, +coupled with much doubt as to Bunsey's ability to live up to such +lively expectations, compelled me to resort to a little gentle +correction. + +"My dear Phyllis," I said, "you must disabuse your mind of that +fallacy. Bunsey is a popular novelist, not a literary man." + +"But isn't a novelist a literary man?" she asked in amazement. + +"Not necessarily," I replied pityingly. "In fact I may say not +usually. Of course we are speaking of popular novelists. The +popularity of the novelist is in proportion to his lack of +literary style. The distinctive popular charm of Bunsey is that +he is not literary--at least, if he is, his critics have not +succeeded in discovering it; he successfully conceals his crime. +If he is popular, it is because he is not literary; if he were +literary he could not be popular." + +"That does not seem right," said my little Puritan. + +"It is not a question of ethics at all, but a matter of +taste. However, don't be prejudiced against Bunsey because +he is a product of the time and fairly representative of the +civilization. You shall meet him and shall learn from him how a +man may succeed in so-called literature without any hampering +literary qualifications." + +Mary did not receive my proposition in a thankful and +conciliatory spirit. She shook her head doubtfully, and when we +were alone together, she gave voice to her fears. + +"Phyllis is country-bred," she said, "and knows nothing of the +toils and snares that beset young girls in the city." + +"Toils and snares," I echoed. "One might gather from your +objections that we contemplate taking Phyllis to the city merely +to expose her to temptation and corrupt the serenity of her mind. +You seem to forget the elevating influences of my modest home." + +"No, John; I dare say that your home is not objectionable, taken +by itself. But I am not blind to the seductions of the great +city. You too forget," she added, with a touch of complacency, +"that I am not inexperienced or without knowledge of the +profligacy of the town." + +"Granting all this," I said, highly diverted by her earnestness, +"and what are some of these seductions you have in mind?" + +"Theatres," she replied promptly, "theatres and late hours, +midnight suppers--and cocktails." + +I laughed uproariously. "My dear Mary, if these deadly sins and +perils alarm you, we'll cut them out. I care little for theatres, +and less for midnight suppers. And as for cocktails, I shall make +it my peculiar charge to see that Phyllis never hears the +abominable word. Allowing for the removal of these temptations, I +still think that a trip to the city would do our country flower a +world of good, though I have nothing but praise for the manner in +which you have brought her up." + +"John," she answered very gravely, "I have endeavored to do my +duty as I saw it. I have tried to bring Phyllis up in the nurture +and admonition of the Lord." + +The expression carried me back to my childhood, and I bit my +lips. "Of course you have," I said. "Wasn't I brought up in this +same village, in the same way? Did not my good mother and my +blessed, grandmother inflict nurture and admonition upon me, that +I might grow up as you see me, a true child of the pilgrim +fathers? The nurture, I remember, was a particularly hard seat in +our particularly gloomy old meetinghouse, and the admonition took +up the greater part of the Sabbath day, with a disenchanting +prospect of further admonition at home if I failed to keep awake. +I do not mean to say that I am not thankful for the experience. +In truth I am doubly thankful--thankful that I had it, and +thankful that it is over." + +To this Mary vouchsafed no further remonstrance than a +distrustful shake of the head. Excellent woman! Is it not to such +as you, earnest, faithful, self-sacrificing, God-fearing, that +the best in young manhood, the purest in young womanhood, owe the +strength of the qualities that are the vital force of the +nation? + + + + +In the end the united opposition was too much for Mary's +arguments, and to town we went. The pleasure of the journey, on +my part, was somewhat clouded as to the welcome we should receive +from Prudence, and truly it acquired my greatest powers of +dissimulation to feign an easy indifference and air of authority +before that worthy creature, as with the most studied politeness +and formal hospitality she received us at the gate. Prudence and +I had sparred so many years that we were like two expert +athletes, and while neither apparently noticed the other, each +was perfectly conscious of the adversary's slightest movement. +Hence I detected at once her strong aversion to Mary, whom she +immediately selected as a probable mistress, and I saw her +several times vainly try to repress a grimace of disdain and +wrath. It was my first impulse to follow Prudence into the +kitchen, after the ladies had gone to their rooms, and make a +clean breast of the untoward tidings, but I lacked the moral +courage and contented myself with an inward show of strength. Why +should I pander to this woman's caprices? Was I not master in my +own house? Should I not do as I pleased? I would punish her with +the severity of my silence, and perhaps in a week or two, when +she was more tractable, I would condescend to tell her exactly +how matters stood. In this I would be firm. + +But the next morning, before my guests were out of bed, I decided +that I was not acting wisely. Was not Prudence an old, faithful, +and trustworthy servant? Had she not been loyal to my interests, +and was not her whole life wrapped up in my comfort? Surely I +wronged her to withhold from her the confidence she had so fairly +earned, and the flush of shame came to my face as I reflected +that I was indulging my first deceit. I took a turn in the +garden, in the heavenly cool of the early morning, to compose my +nerves for a very probable ordeal, and then I walked boldly into +the kitchen where Prudence sat, with a wooden bowl in her lap, +paring apples. + +It was one of the unwritten laws of the cuisine that Prudence was +never to be disturbed when engaged in this delicate operation. +She maintained that it destroyed the symmetry of the peel, and +I dare say she was right. Consequently she looked at me +reproachfully as I entered, and bent again more assiduously to +her work. I was much flustered by the ill omen, but I knew that +if I hesitated I was lost; so I advanced valorously, though with +accelerated pulse, and said with all the calmness I could +command: + +"Prudence, I think it only right to tell you that I am going to +be married." + +One apple rolled from the bowl down along the floor and under the +kitchen stove. I cannot conceive of any shock, however great, +that would cause Prudence to lose more than one apple. Partly to +conciliate, and partly to conceal my own trepidation, I made a +gallant effort to rescue the wanderer, and as I poked the +hiding-place with my stick, I heard her say: "Lord, I know'd it'd +come!" + +"The fact that it has come, Prudence," I answered with a sickly +attempt at gayety, "does not seem to be a reason why you should +call with such vehemence on your Maker. There does not appear to +be any need of Providential interposition. Things are not so bad +as all that." + +I always used my most elegant English when conversing with +Prudence. If she did not understand it, it flattered her to think +that I paid this tribute to her intelligence. + +"Mr. John," she said, and there was a suspicious break in her +voice, "for twenty years I have tried to do my duty by you, and +now that I must go--" + +"Go?" I interrupted; "who said you must go? Who spoke about +anybody's going? You certainly do not expect to turn that bowl +of apples over to me and leave me to get breakfast?" + +"No, Mr. John, I shall go on and do my duty, as I see it, until +you have made all your plans and are comfortable." + +"Now, look here, Prudence, I am very comfortable as things are, +thank you. And you will pardon me if I say I cannot understand +why you should go at all. I shall continue to eat, I hope, after +I am married, and I think it altogether probable that I shall +require a house-keeper and a cook. I believe they do have such +things in well-regulated families." + +"At my age, and with my experience, and considerin' how we +have lived, Mr. John, I couldn't get along with a mistress, +'specially," she added with a touch of malice, "with a woman +considerable older than me." + +"Older than you? What are you talking about? Miss Kinglake is +young enough to be your daughter." + +Another apple rolled on the floor. "Miss Kinglake!" she exclaimed +in astonishment, "that lamb? Good Lord, I thought you were goin' +to marry the other one!" + +"Prudence," I said rather hotly, for I did not relish her +amazement, "you will oblige me by not speaking of these ladies as +the 'lamb' and 'the other one.' I might gather from your remarks +that I am a sort of ravening wolf, instead of a well-meaning +gentleman who is merely exercising the privilege of selecting a +wife. But," I said, checking myself, for I was ashamed of my +explosion, "I shall be magnanimous enough to believe that you are +delighted with my choice, and that I have your congratulations. +You will be glad to know that Miss Kinglake and I are perfectly +satisfied with each other, and that we are both entirely +satisfied with you. And now that we understand the situation, I +think I may presume that we shall have breakfast at the usual +hour this morning, and to-morrow morning, and for many mornings +to come. And, by the way, Prudence, while I have honored you +with my confidence, permit me to impress it upon you that this +revelation is not village gossip as yet, and you will put me +under further obligations by not mentioning the circumstance. +Good-morning, Prudence. Kindly call the ladies at eight o'clock." + +And thereupon I hastily departed, leaving the good woman in a +state of stupefaction, since, for the first and only time in our +long and controversial association, had I retired with the last +word. Taking a second turn in the garden I encountered Malachy, +and my conscience reproached me. "Am I doing right," I asked +myself, "in withholding the glad news from this faithful servant +who has shown himself so worthy of my confidence? Is it not my +duty to tell him--not so much to interest him in his future +mistress as to demonstrate the trust I repose in him?" + +Malachy received my confidence with less excitement than I had +expected. In fact I was slightly humiliated by his seeming lack +of gratitude. He touched his hat very respectfully, and observed +irrelevantly that the roses below the arbor were looking +uncommonly well. This was a poor reward for my attempt at +consideration, and further convinced me of the uselessness +of establishing anything like intimate relations with the +proletariat. + +"By the way, Malachy," I said in parting, "you will keep this +matter a profound secret. Miss Kinglake and I are desirous that +we shall not be annoyed by village chatter and premature +congratulations." + +Having discharged my duty to my good servants, I felt that my +obligations, so far as the relation with Phyllis was concerned, +were at an end, and the morning wore away without further +misgivings of disloyalty. In the afternoon Bunsey came over for +his daily smoke, and as we sat together in the library, and I +noticed the entire absence of suspicion in his manner, my heart +smote me. "Truly," I reasoned silently, "I am behaving ill to an +old friend who has never withheld from me the very secrets of his +soul. Should I not be as generous, as outspoken, with him as he +has always proved to me? Should I not confide to him this one +precious secret, at the same time swearing him to preserve it as +he would his life?" + +I blew out a ring of smoke, and then I began with the utmost +seriousness: "Bunsey, how do you like the ladies?" + +He shifted his position, tipped the ashes from his cigar, and +replied tranquilly: "Oh, I dare say I shall in time." + +The answer vexed me. Bunsey was a bachelor, and should have been +therefore the more impressionable. I forgot for the moment, in my +annoyance, that he was a novelist, and had been so diligently +creating lovely and impossible women to order that he was not +easily moved by the realities of humanity. + +"At all events," I replied with delicate irony, "I am glad that +the future is hopeful for the ladies. My reason for asking the +question was simply to lead the way to a confidence I intend to +repose in you. To proceed expeditiously to the end of a long +story, I intend to marry one of them." + +Bunsey's tranquillity was unshaken. "Which one?" + +"Which one?" I echoed with heat, "why, Miss Kinglake, of course." + +"Does she intend to marry you?" + +"Naturally." + +"Or unnaturally?" + +"Confound your impertinence!" I roared, "what do you mean by +that?" + +"No impertinence, at all, my dear fellow. In fact it is most +pertinent. Miss Kinglake is a girl, and you--well, you voted for +Grant." + +"Which is your gentle way of saying that I am too old." + +"No, not too old; just old enough--to know better." + +"We are never too old to love," I said, conscious that I was +uttering a melancholy platitude. + +"Too old to love? Heaven forbid! But we may be too old to +marry--at least to marry anybody worth while. Come, Stanhope, +tell me: do you really love this young woman?" + +"Love her? Here I have been telling you that I intend to marry a +charming girl, and you turn about and ask me if I love her. Of +course I love her. I have been loving her in one way and another +for years." + +"What do you mean by that? I thought you only met her a few weeks +ago." + +I smiled pityingly. "So I did, but for years she has been my +affinity. Incidentally I don't mind saying I began by loving her +mother." + +Bunsey sat up straight. "Oh, you loved her mother. Was her mother +pretty?" + +"She was as you see Phyllis. In fact I think she was, if +anything, a trifle prettier. We were playmates and schoolmates, +and in the nature of things, if I had not wandered off to the +city, I presume we should have married. Dear little Sylvia," I +went on musingly, "I can see her at this moment, looking down +from heaven and smiling on my union with her daughter. For if +ever a match was made in heaven this was. Confound it! what are +you doing now?" + +While I was talking Bunsey had reached over, taken a sheet of +paper and was busily writing. He looked up carelessly. + +"Your story interests me, and is such good material that I +thought I would make a few notes. Young boy loves young +girl--goes to city--forgets her--young girl marries--has charming +daughter--dies--years pass--venerable gentleman returns--sees +daughter--great emotion on part of v. g.--thinks he loves +her--proposes--accepted--mar--no, there I think I must stop for +the present." + +"Oh, don't stop there, I beg," I said sarcastically; "if you are +thinking of using these materials for one of your popular +novels, be sure to throw in a few duels, several heartrending +catastrophes, and other incidents of what you call 'action,' +appropriately expressed in bad English." + +Bunsey was imperturbable. "Thank you for your appreciative +estimate of my literary style," he replied coolly; "but really, +my consideration for my old friend deprives me of the pleasure of +robbing his diary." + +I was still out of temper. "Bunsey, I don't mind favoring you +with a further confidence. You're an ass!" + +With this parting shot I strode out of the library, when, +remembering the sacredness of my revelation, I turned back. + +"Of course you will understand, Bunsey, that however flippantly +you may choose to regard what I have said to you, you will have +the decency to keep the subject-matter to yourself. I do not ask +your congratulations or your approval, but I demand your +secrecy." + +"The ass brays acknowledgments," answered Bunsey meekly, helping +himself to another cigar. "You may rely on my loyal and devoted +interest. The fact that I have heard your secret twice before +to-day shall not open my lips or cause me to violate your trust." + +Notwithstanding my attitude of indifference I was greatly +troubled by Bunsey's unfeeling suggestion. Could it be possible +that I had mistaken my own heart? Was I, yielding, as I had +believed, to the first strong passion of my life, only deluding +myself with a remembrance of my vanished youth? I dismissed the +thought impatiently. For, after all, was not Bunsey a hopeless +cynic, a fellow without a single emotion of the ennobling +sentiment of man toward woman, a sordid story-teller, who created +characters for money, wrecked homes, committed literary murders, +played unfeelingly on the tenderest sensibilities, and boasted +openly that the only angels were those made by a stroke of the +pen and retailed at department store book-counters? And while +thus reasoning Phyllis came to me, so winsome in her girlish +beauty, so radiant in the happiness I had infused into her life, +so joyous in the pleasures of the present, that I laughed at my +own doubts, reproached myself for my own unworthy suspicions, and +straightway forgot both Bunsey and his evil promptings. + + + + +Love at eight and forty is a very pleasant and indolent emotion, +marking the most delightful stage in the progress of the great +human passion. At twenty-five we talk it; at thirty-five we act +it; at forty-five it is pleasant to sit down and think about it. +The very young man loves without really analyzing. Ten years +later he analyzes without really loving. In another decade he has +compounded the proportions of love and analysis, and becomes, +under favoring conditions, the most dangerous and hence the most +acceptable of suitors. The man in middle life takes his adored +one tolerantly, and keeps his reservations to himself. In the +ordinary course of events he has acquired a certain knowledge of +feminine character, he knows the rocks and the shoals of love, +and, skillful pilot that he is, he avoids them. He is sure of his +course, master of his equipment. If he errs at all--but I +anticipate. + +Those were very joyous days, notwithstanding the applications +of cold water so liberally bestowed by my confidential advisers. +And eagerly and successfully I exerted myself to convince +the doubting ones in general, and Bunsey in particular, how +absurd were their suspicions, and how apparent it was that Phyllis +and I had been purposely created for each other. Mary threw +herself into our pleasures as heartily and joyously as her New +England nature would permit, which was never a very riotous +demonstration, and Phyllis, with the effervescence and enthusiasm +of girlhood, eagerly assented to every proposition that had +its pleasure-seeking side; while I, as a thoughtful lover +should, busied myself in schemes for summer dissipation, thankful +that it was in my power to prove so devoted a knight, and +inwardly rejoicing at my triumph over those who had taxed me +with such unworthy thoughts. Even Frederick--good fellow that +he was--allowed himself unusual days of vacation to partake of our +merriment, and it pleased me greatly to see that when business +cares or physical disinclination kept me off the programme, he no +longer allowed his indifference to interfere with his duty as my +nephew and personal representative. Such, I take it, is the +obligation of all young men similarly placed. + +For, before many weeks had passed, I discovered that it was not +wise to allow the fleeting dissipations of the moment, however +alluring, to monopolize time which should be given to the serious +affairs of life. I found that a cramped position in a boat in the +hot sun brought on nervous headaches, and that too much time in +the garden when the dew was falling was conducive to lumbago. +Furthermore I had been invited by a neighboring university to +deliver my celebrated lecture on the protagonism of Plato, and +several new and excellent thoughts had come to me which required +careful and elaborate development. I explained these matters +conscientiously and fully to Phyllis, and while she offered no +unreasonable protest, her pretty face clouded, and she did me the +honor to say that half the enjoyment was removed by my absence. +Once she even went so far as to declare that Plato was a "horrid +man," and that she believed I thought more of him than of her--a +most ridiculous conclusion but so essentially feminine that I +forgave her at once. And, when she came to me, and put her arms +around my neck and urged me to go with her to a tennis match--a +foolish game where grown-up people knock little balls over a net +with a battledore--I pointed out to her that such spectacles, +while eminently proper for young folk, argued a failing mind in +those of maturer years. With a charming pout she said: + +"Do you think you would have refused to go if my mother had asked +you?" + +Now tennis is a sport that has come up since Sylvia and I were +children together, but I recalled, with a guilty blush, the time +when she and I won the village championship in doubles in an all +day siege of croquet, so what could I say in my own defence? +Therefore I went with Phyllis to the tennis-court and sat for two +long and inexpressibly dreary hours watching the senseless and +stupid proceedings. It was pleasant to reflect that I was with +Sylvia's daughter, and I tried to imagine that the keen interest +of youth still remained, but I was sadly out of place. I am +satisfied that this game of tennis has nothing of the fascinating +quality of croquet. On our arrival home Phyllis kissed me, and +thanked me for what she called my "self-denial," but after that +one experience Frederick represented me at the tennis-court, as, +indeed, the good-natured boy consented to do at many similar +festivities. + +And so the summer wore gradually away, one day's enjoyment +lazily following another's, with nothing to disturb the serenity +of my life, or to interfere with the calm content into which I +had settled. Phyllis was everything that a moderate and +reasonable lover could wish--kind, gentle, affectionate within +the bounds of maidenly discretion, attentive to my wishes, +and considerate of my caprices. The more I saw of her the +more I was persuaded that I had chosen wisely and well. One +afternoon--Frederick, at my suggestion, had gallantly given up +his work in the office and taken Phyllis down the river. I sat +with Bunsey in the library, and took occasion to expound to him +the philosophy of perfect love. + +"The trouble is," I said, "that people rush blindly into +matrimony. They think they are in love, work themselves up to the +proper pitch of madness, propose and marry while they are in +delirium. Hence, so much of the wretchedness and misery that we +see in the homes of our friends. For my part I am committed to +the doctrine of affinities. It is true that I, like many others, +was guilty of the usual folly in my youth, and perhaps that gave +me the wisdom to wait for my second venture until precisely the +fight party came along. Matrimony, Bunsey, is an exact science. +If we regulate our passion, control all silly emotion, study +feminine nature as critically and methodically as we investigate +a mathematical problem, and commit ourselves only when the +affinity presents herself, we shall make no mistakes. For, after +all, what is an affinity? Nothing more than a human being sent by +Providence as perfectly adapted to the wheels and curves of your +nature." + +"A very pretty theory," retorted Bunsey, grimly; "and, by the +way, when do you think of rushing into matrimony?" + +"Really," I said, somewhat confused, "to be entirely honest with +you, I have not settled on any particular day. You see Phyllis +should have her fling. She is very young." + +"True, but you are not." + +As Bunsey said this he rose and tossed his cigar out of the +window. "Stanhope," he went on, "we are old friends, and I don't +wish to be continually seeming to interfere with your business, +but if I were a man with fifty years leering hideously at me, and +engaged to a pretty girl of two and twenty, I'd make quick work +of it before Providence came along with a younger affinity in a +Panama hat, negligee shirt, and duck trousers." + +I stared at him with a sort of helpless amazement. "Exactly what +do you mean?" I asked. + +"Well," he answered, shrugging his shoulders, "at the risk of +being kicked out of the house, let me say that I think such an +affinity has already presented himself." + +"Indeed, and who may that be?" + +"Suppose we say Frederick." + +"My nephew?" + +"Exactly; your nephew. He is an uncommonly good-looking fellow, +and, thanks to his uncle's childlike belief in Providence and +the doctrine of affinities, he has most unusual opportunities to +test that doctrine for himself. I dare say that he is making a +formal study of the situation at this very moment, and inviting +Providence to appear on the scene as his sponsor." + +What more was said at this interview, if, indeed, it did +not terminate with this brutal statement, I cannot recall, +for Bunsey, usually so flippant and cynical, spoke with an +earnestness that stunned me. My knowledge of the philosophy of +love told me that he was wrong; my observation of the actualities +of life made me fear that he might be right. Theoretically, I +could not have been mistaken in my course; practically, I began +to see weak spots in the chain of evidence. Swiftly, I ran over +the events of the spring and summer, and as little spots no +bigger than a man's hand magnified themselves into black clouds, +Bunsey, sitting opposite, seemed to grow larger and larger, and +his smile more malicious and demon-like. Possibly, had I been a +younger and more impetuous man, I should have flown into a +passion, taken Bunsey at his word, and kicked him out of the +house; but the philosophy of the thing engrossed me, filled me +with half fear, half curiosity, and engaged all my mental +faculties. Had I been mistaken? Could I be deceived in the +daughter of Sylvia? + +However strong my suspicions may have been, they were not +increased when, with the evening, Phyllis and Frederick came home +from their excursion. Never was Phyllis more unreserved, more +cordial, more joyous, more attentive to the little wants, which +I, in a mean and shameful test, imposed on her. She could not be +acting a part, this New England girl, with her alert conscience, +her Puritan impulse and training, her aversion to everything that +savored of deceit. And Frederick was as much at his ease as if I +knew nothing, as if I had not heard of his duplicity, as if the +whole house and grounds were not ringing with accusations of his +unworthiness. Such are the phenomena of the philosophy of middle +life, I insisted that he should remain for the evening, and, +after dinner, with that contrariness accountable only in a true +student of psychology, I made a trifling excuse and walked down +to the square, leaving them together. + +The curfew was ringing as, returning, I entered the lower gate at +the end of the garden, and passed slowly along by the arbor. It +may have been Providence, it may have been chance, it certainly +was not philosophy that directed my steps to the far side of the +syringa hedge which shut me off from the view of those who might +come down to the rustic seat at the foot of the cherry tree. At +least I had no intention of playing the spy, and when I heard +Frederick's voice, and knew instinctively that Phyllis was with +him, I quickened my pace that I might not be a sharer of their +secrets. But an irresistible impulse made me pause when I heard +the foolish fellow say: + +"After to-night I shall not come again. It is better for us to +break now than to wait until it is too late." + +Her reply I could not hear. Presently he said, and a little +brokenly: + +"I have fought it all out. It has been hard, so hard, but I must +meet it as it comes." + +Then I heard Phyllis's voice: "It is for the best." + +"I believe that you care for me. I know how much I care for you, +and how much this effort is costing me. We were too late. No +other course in honor presents itself. God knows how eagerly and +hopelessly I have sought a way out of this tangle of duty." + +Again I heard Phyllis's voice, sunk almost to a whisper: "I have +given my word; it is for the best." + +"The governor has been so good to me," Frederick exclaimed +resentfully, "that I feel like a criminal even at this moment +when I am making for him the sacrifice of a life. He has been my +father, my protector. What I am I owe to him, and I must meet him +like a grateful and honest man. You would not have it otherwise?" + +And for the third time Phyllis answered: "It is for the best." + +Had I been of that remarkable stuff of which your true hero is +made, of which Bunsey's heroes are made, and had I come up to the +very reasonable expectations of the followers of literary +romance, I should have burst through the syringa with passion in +my face and rage in my heart and precipitated a tragedy. Or, on +the other side, I should have taken those ridiculous children by +the hand, and ended their suffering with my blessing then and +there. But as I am only of very common clay, with little liking +for heroics, I did what any selfish and unappreciative man would +have done, and stole quietly away. I even felt a sort of fierce +joy in the knowledge of the security of my position, a mean +exultation in the thought that Phyllis was bound to me, and that +those from whom I might reasonably fear the most, acknowledged +the hopelessness of their case. Most strangely there came to me +no resentment with the knowledge that I had been supplanted by my +nephew in the affections of the girl; the fact that she loved +another surprised rather than agitated me. My argument was upset, +my doctrine of affinities had been seriously damaged in my +individual case, and here was I, who should have been yielding to +the pangs of disappointment, or raging with wounded pride, +reflecting with considerable calmness on the reverses of a +philosopher. + +I went into the library and lighted a cigar. I threw myself into +an easy-chair, and as I looked up I saw a spider-web in a corner +of the ceiling. "I must speak to Prudence about that in the +morning," I said to myself with annoyance. Then for the first +time it came to me that I was out of temper, for I am customarily +tranquil and not easily upset. My mind wandered rapidly from one +thing to another, and oddly enough I caught myself humming a +little tune which had no sort of relevancy to the events of the +day. I tried to dismiss the incident of the garden as the +temporary folly of a romantic girl, which would wear itself out +with a week's absence. Why should it trouble me? Had I been +lacking in kindness or affection? Should I be disturbed because a +few boat rides and the influence of moonlight had wrought on a +mere child? Was I not secure in her promise, and had I not heard +her say she had given her word? As for Frederick, was he not my +debtor? Had he not confessed it? Then why give more thought to +the matter? It was awkward, but both were young and both would +outlive it. Sylvia and I were young, and we outlived it. + +But still kept ringing in my ears that despairing half-whisper: +"It is for the best." + +Petulantly I threw away my cigar and went up to my room. I walked +over to the dressing-case and turned up the gas. The shadow +displeased me and I lighted the opposite jet. Then I stood +squarely before the mirror and looked critically at the +reflection. + +Yes, John Stanhope, you are growing old. That expanding forehead, +with the retreating hairs, tells the tale of time. The gray upon +your cheeks is whitening and the razor must be used more +vigilantly to further deception. Those creases in your face can +no longer be dismissed as character lines; the shagginess of your +eyebrows has the flying years to account for it. Plainly, John, +you and humbug must part company. You are not of this generation +and it is not for you. + +I turned down the gas, threw open the window and let the +moonlight filter in through the elms and over the tops of the +little pines. The soft beauty of the night soothed me, and +gradually and very gently my irritation and annoyance slipped +away. Why should not a young girl, radiant in youth and beauty, +affect a young man of her generation? What has an old fellow, +with all his money and worldly experience and burnt-out youth, to +give in exchange for that intoxication which every girl may +properly regard her lawful gift? Undoubtedly I should make a +better husband, as husbands go, than my romantic nephew, and any +woman of rare common sense would see the advantages of my +position, but why burden a woman with that rare common sense +which robs her of the first and sweetest of her dreams? No, John +Stanhope, go back to your pipe and your books and your gardening, +your life of selfish, indolent do-nothing. Take life as it comes +most easily and naturally. By sparing one heart you may save two. + +And that nephew of mine--what a fine, manly fellow he proved +himself when put to the test! The governor had been good to him +and he was going to stand by the governor. How my heart jumped, +and what a warm little feeling there was about the internal +cockles as I recalled his words. Bravely said, my boy, and nobly +done! I fear I should not have been so generous at your age, and +with Sylvia-- + +And with Sylvia! How the past crowded back at the thought of her! +Who are you, old dreamer, who neglected the gift the good gods +provided in the heydey of your youth to return to chase the +phantom of the past? Behind that little white cloud, sailing far +into the north, Sylvia may be peeping at you, and smiling at the +delusion of her ancient wooer. Or why not think that she is +pleading with you--pleading for her child and the lover, as she +might have pleaded for herself and somebody else, had somebody +else known his own heart before it was too late? + +I watched the white cloud as it passed on and on, growing smaller +and fainter as it receded. I settled back still deeper in my +chair and sighed. And then--O unworthy knight of love!--and then, +I fell asleep. + + + + +In the morning, before the family was astir, I wrote a note, +pleading a sudden and imperative call to town, and vanished for +the day. I argued with myself that such a step was a delicate +consideration for a young woman, who, having listened to a +confession of love a few hours before, would be hardly at her +ease at a breakfast-table conversation. Incidentally I was not +altogether sure of myself, although I was much refreshed by an +excellent night's sleep which comes to every philosopher with +courage and strength to rise above the unpleasant things of life. +If Phyllis had yielded to an emotion of grief, there was little +trace of it when we met at evening. I fancied that she was +somewhat paler, and her manner at times seemed a little listless, +but otherwise there was no great departure from her usual +demeanor. As for myself the long sunshine of a summer day and the +conviction that at last the opportunity had come to me to play +the role of a minor hero gave me a peace that amounted almost to +buoyancy. No need had I of the teachings of the musty old +philosophers reposing on my bookshelves. John Stanhope had +learned more of life in a few short hours than all his tomes +could impart. His books had helped him many times in diagnosing +the cases of his friends; when John fell ill they mocked and +deceived him. + +Opportunely enough Phyllis followed me into the library, and when +at my request she sat on a little stool at my feet, and I held +her hand and stroked her soft light hair, a pang went through my +heart, for I felt that she might be near me for the last time. +The philosopher had yet much to learn. For several minutes we +were both silent. Of the two I was doubtless the more ill at +ease, though I concealed it bravely. + +"Phyllis," I said at last, "did you ever get over a childish +fondness for fairy-stories?" + +She smiled at this--was I wrong in fancying that her smile was +that of sadness?--and answered: "I hope not." + +"Because," I went on, bending over and affectionately patting the +hand I held, "a little fairy-tale has been running through my +head all day, and I have decided that you shall be the first to +hear it and pass on its merits. And because," I added gayly, "if +it has your approval I may wish to publish it. Shall I begin?" + +She nodded her head--I could swear now to the weariness the poor +child was so staunchly fighting--and looked off toward the +sunset. + +"Once upon a time--you see that I am conventional--there lived a +beautiful young princess, on whom a wicked old troll had cast an +evil eye. Now this wicked troll was not so hideous as the trolls +we see in our fairy-books--I must say that--but he was so wicked +that even this deficiency could not excuse him. The princess was +as young and innocent--I was going to say as simple--as she was +beautiful, and the wicked troll talked so much of his experience +in the world, and boasted so hugely of his wealth and generosity +and other shining virtues, that the imagination of the poor +little princess was quite fired, and she was flattered into +thinking that here was a treasure not to be lightly put aside. +And so, in a foolish moment she consented to be his bride, and he +took her away to his castle--I believe trolls do have castles--to +make ready for the marriage. While the preparations were going +on, and the wicked old troll was laughing with glee to think how +he had deluded a princess, a handsome young prince appeared on +the scene, and what so natural as that the princess should +immediately contrast him with the troll. And it came about, also +quite naturally, that before the prince and the princess knew +that anything was happening, they fell so violently in love with +each other that the birds, and the bees, and the flowers in the +garden, and the squirrels in the trees sang and hummed and +gossiped and chattered about it." + +Here I paused. Phyllis did not look up, but I felt a shiver run +through her body as I stroked her hair and put my arm around her +shoulder to caress away her fear. + +"But it happened that although the princess was so much in love +that at times she must have forgotten even the existence of the +old troll, she was still possessed of that most inconvenient and +annoying internal arrangement which we call the New England +conscience, and one night, when the prince had declared his love +with more ardor than usual, she remembered the past, how she had +promised to marry the troll, and how she must keep her word, as +all good princesses do. And the prince, who was a very upright +young man, most foolishly listened to her, and agreed to give her +up. Whereupon these poor children, having resolved that it was +for the best--" + +Phyllis looked up quickly. Her face was white, and a look, half +of fear, half of reproach, came to her eyes. She sank down and +hid her face in her hands. Both my arms were around her and I +even laughed. + +"Dear little princess," I whispered, "don't give way yet. The +best is still to come. For you must remember that this is a +fairy-tale and all fairy-tales have a good ending. And, to make a +long story short, this wicked old troll was not a troll at all, +but a fairy-godmother, who had taken the form for good purposes. +I would have said fairy-godfather, but I have never come across a +fairy-godfather in all my reading, and I must be truthful. Well, +the fairy-godmother came along right in the nick of time--and, of +course, you know who married and lived happily ever after?" + +The convulsive movement of the poor child's body told me she +was weeping. And I, being a philosopher, and more or less +hard-hearted, as all philosophers are, let her weep on. Presently +she said in a voice hardly audible: + +"I gave you my promise and I meant to keep it. I am trying so +hard to keep it." + +"Of course you are, little girl, but why try? A bad promise is +far better broken than kept, and, come to think of it, I am not +at all sure that I am anxious to have you keep it. How do you +know that I am not making a desperate effort to secure my own +release?" + +She raised her head quite unexpectedly and caught me with the +tears in my eyes. My eyes always were weak. "Why, you are +crying!" she said. + +"Of course I'm crying. I always cry when I am particularly well +pleased. It is a family peculiarity. You should see me at the +theatre. At a farce comedy I am a depressing sight, and that is +the reason I always avoid the front seats." + +Then realizing that I might be carrying my gayety too far, I went +on more soberly: + +"Can't you see, Phyllis, that the old fool's romance must come to +an end? Don't you understand that had I the selfish wish to hold +you to a thoughtless promise, our adventure would terminate only +in misery to us both? Perhaps you and I have been the last to see +it, I, because I was thinking too much of myself, you, because +you were carried away by an exalted sense of duty. Thank heaven +it is clear to us both now. For it is clear, isn't it, dear?" + +The foolish girl did not reply, but she kissed my hand, and it is +astonishing how that little act of affection touched and +strengthened me. + +"So we are going to make a new start and begin right. To-morrow I +shall see Frederick and make a proposition to him, and if that +rascal does not give up his heroics and come down to his plain +duty as I see it--well, so much the worse for him. No, don't +raise objections"--she had started to speak--"for I am always +quarrelsome when I cannot have my own way. Go to your room and +think it over, and remember," I said more gently, for that old +tide of the past was coming in, "that you are Sylvia's daughter, +and that Sylvia would have trusted me and counselled you to obey +me in all things." + +Slowly and with averted face Phyllis rose and walked toward the +door. I had commanded her, and yet I felt a sharp pang of +bitterness that she had yielded so quickly to my words. It seemed +at the moment that everything was passing out of my life; that +Phyllis, that Sylvia, that all the once sweet, continuous memory +was lost to me forever. I could not call her back, and I could +not hope that she would return. Philosopher that I was I could +not explain the sinking and the fear that took possession of me. +The philosopher did not know himself. All his thought and all his +reasoning could not solve the simple riddle the quick intuition +of a girl made clear. + +She had reached the door before she paused. Then she turned. I +had risen mechanically and stood looking at her. As slowly she +came back and waited as if for me to speak. And when the dull +philosopher groped helplessly for words and could not meet the +appealing eyes, she put her hands on his shoulders, and laid her +warm, young face on his heart, and said, "Father!" + + * * * * * + +The night was peacefully beautiful. I had strolled out of the +garden and down to the river, and there along the bridle-path on +the winding bank I walked for miles. Absorbed in my own thoughts +I gave no heed to my little dog, Hero, trotting at my side and +looking anxiously up at me with her large brown eyes, as if +saying in her dog fashion: "Don't worry, old man; I'm here!" A +strange, inexplicable happiness had fallen to him who thought he +knew all others, and did not know even himself. I crossed the +river to return on the opposite shore, and all the way back, +through the arching trees, the shadows danced in the moonlight +and the crickets chirped merrily. Life seemed so contrary, so +bewildering, for I thought of the wedding music in those early +mornings at my boyhood home, and I wondered at the optimism of +Nature in attuning all emotions to a joyous note. + +Again in my garden I saw a half-light in Phyllis's room. Coming +nearer I saw that she was standing at the window, with the same +cloud on her face that had betrayed the battle with her +conscience. At sight of her all the joyous emotion of my new +tenderness overwhelmed me and I cried out cheerily: + +"Good-night, Phyllis!" + +Something in my voice sent a smile to her eyes and gladness to +her heart, as, half leaning from the window, she kissed her hand +to me and called back softly: "Good-night, father dear!" + +The south wind came, bringing the scent of the rose and the +honeysuckle, and stirring the drowsy branches of the elms. The +river rippled merrily in the moonlight, hurrying to bear the +tidings of happiness to the greater waters, and off in the +distance the blue hills lifted their heads above the haze. Toward +the north scudded the friendly little white cloud, and it seemed +again a soothing fancy that Sylvia-- + +O sweet and pleasant world! + + + + +TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES + +Page 103: Changed housekeeper to house-keeper for consistency. + +Page 116: Changed typo "effervesence" to "effervescence." + +Page 142: Changed typo "moolight" to "moonlight." + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Romance of an Old Fool, by Roswell Field + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ROMANCE OF AN OLD FOOL *** + +***** This file should be named 20661.txt or 20661.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/0/6/6/20661/ + +Produced by Audrey Longhurst, Suzan Flanagan and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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