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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Gray Nun, by Nataly Von Eschstruth
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Gray Nun
+
+Author: Nataly Von Eschstruth
+
+Translator: Lionel Strachey
+
+Release Date: October 27, 2007 [EBook #23220]
+Last Updated: November 5, 2016
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GRAY NUN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+
+THE GRAY NUN
+
+By Nataly Von Eschstruth
+
+Translated from the German by Lionel Strachey
+
+
+When I was a young man I once made a foreign journey, betaking myself to
+the royal court of X. on affairs of state. In those days politics would
+take strange turns, not of unmixed delight, and so it happened that my
+mission was prolonged well into the winter, and kept me at X. until the
+carnival season. But at this I did not repine, for to pass a winter in
+a beautiful climate and amid the fascinating society of a court seemed a
+welcome change to my enthusiastic, pleasure-loving young soul.
+
+The reigning sovereign had a predilection for masked balls,--a
+traditionally favorite amusement at the palace, I was told--and
+accordingly several fancy dress festivities were enacted on the royal
+premises during the carnival. The first I was unable to participate in
+because of an inflamed eye, and therefore awaited the second with all
+the keener anticipation.
+
+In the becoming costume of a Prussian officer in the army of Frederick
+the Great, and with the agreeable sensation of being specially well
+disguised beneath my mask and safe from recognition, I mingled in the
+gay throng of the dancers and enjoyed to the full the charm of the
+brilliant and delicious event. An exquisitely graceful little water-nix
+had conquered my heart. The champagne was bubbling in my blood, and
+in wild spirits I was pursuing the fleeing Undine into an adjacent
+apartment.
+
+Suddenly I stopped as though spellbound, and found myself staring into
+a pair of dark eyes, black as night, which were rigidly fixed upon me.
+Standing aloof, in a corner of the room, I saw a nun. Her long gray
+garment reached to the ground, and lay about her very feet in folds like
+a train. Her arms hung straight down, the hands being concealed in the
+loose sleeves. White linen bands covered her head and chin, and rendered
+even her mouth invisible, while her forehead and the upper part of her
+face were protected by a black velvet mask. And the blackness of those
+eyes that penetrated me was so intense that scarcely were any whites
+discernible.
+
+An indescribable emotion ran over me as I stood under the ban of an
+evil power, as it were, returning the look of that strange figure. I had
+forgotten Undine. Drawn by some invisible force, I approached the nun
+with mechanical footstep.
+
+“Why, fair mask,” I accosted her with a bold laugh, “are you alone?
+Surely you know that for dancing and love two are needed!”
+
+Briefly, like a Chinese idol, she nodded her head in assent; a thrill
+seemed to pass over her wonderfully slender shape; yet she did not
+budge.
+
+I became more venturesome from a sudden feeling as of fire rushing
+through my veins.
+
+“You may be vowed to seclusion, beautiful bride of Heaven, but to-day
+the convent walls have released you, to-day you are of the world and the
+flesh, to-day you are mine!”
+
+Thus I cried aloud, forgetting in my excitement that I was in a country
+where my mother tongue was only spoken and understood at the German
+legation.
+
+In a moment it occurred to me: Did the mask know German?
+
+To my astonishment, she gave an immediate sign of intelligence by
+gliding, silently as a shadow, another step in my direction, and her
+biasing eyes appeared to kindle with merriment. Had she a veil over her
+eyes? It almost looked so and this extraordinary measure of precaution
+challenged me the more strongly to overcome her reluctance to being
+known.
+
+“Do you understand me?” I asked.
+
+She nodded in the same brief, jerky manner as before.
+
+“Do you know me?”
+
+Similarly she answered by negative motions of the head. I stepped up
+close to her with the question:
+
+“But will you not know me and love me? Come into my arms, and let us
+dance!”
+
+Then something happened that at the moment I found surprising and
+extremely startling, yet which I took for a mere carnival freak,
+while later on I could scarce review the occurrence with any degree of
+clearness.
+
+The nun threw her arms about me abruptly and almost desperately, and
+whirled me into a frenzied dance. I felt no body between my arms, and
+did not hear the rustle of her dress; I only saw those enigmatic
+dark eyes, which glowed near, very near, my own. And in mad career,
+regardless of the musical time or of the tune played, my curious partner
+tore around the room with me faster and faster, and with ever increasing
+fury. Her arms gripped me tighter and tighter and I was threatened
+with complete loss of breath in the wild race. Of a sudden I received a
+violent blow, resembling an electric shock, from each of her hands on
+my shoulders, felt myself all at once liberated, and staggered faint
+against a pyramid of plants. Boisterous laughter sounded on my ear; some
+other masks had surrounded and seized me, exclaiming:
+
+“Look at the fine gentleman! He is out of his mind, dancing about the
+room like a madman, quite alone!”
+
+I opened my eyes and looked all around. What had become of my partner?
+
+Not a sign of her was to be seen, although this other room was likewise
+very large, just then not well filled with people.
+
+“Have I been dancing alone?” I gasped, tearing the mask off my burning
+face.
+
+“Quite alone! Did you imagine it was with your sweetheart?” was the
+mocking, noisy reply.
+
+I was deeply annoyed. “Nonsense!” I cried. “You are all in the
+conspiracy! Where has the nun gone? It was no lady at all, it was a man
+in disguise!”
+
+They laughed still more, and some whispered behind fans that I must be
+drunk.
+
+Strange sensations invaded me. Had a joke been played at my expense? Had
+a member of the German legation dressed in female clothes, and in the
+height of his whimsical caprice danced with me in that insane fashion?
+Were the guests in the secret, and were they amusing themselves--as the
+freedom of the carnival permitted--with teasing a foreigner? Yet surely
+the mysterious nun must be discoverable. My knees were trembling from a
+weakness I was unable to account for, but I collected myself, and
+while various thoughts coursed through my brain for a solution of
+this carnival prank, I hastened with feverish speed through rooms and
+galleries in quest of the nun. But in vain. I espied neither herself,
+nor met anyone who had seen her. The lackeys and doorkeepers assured me
+in perfect good faith that they had seen no nun of any sort.
+
+“The costume is one of which His Majesty does not approve,” I was
+informed in the cloak-room. “It is considered irreverent to appear at
+balls here in the spiritual garb of a nun or a monk, and therefore it
+is not done. It would certainly have been observed by us had any lady or
+gentleman transgressed against the prevailing usage.”
+
+“Then perhaps I may have mistaken for a nun some other mask, who
+intended in her gray suit to represent Twilight or Care,” I excused
+myself hesitatingly, though I had an accurate eye for dresses, and
+could have registered a solemn oath that the mysterious unknown was even
+wearing especially authentic claustral attire. No one, however, could
+by any effort remember having noticed a costume anything like that
+described by me.
+
+“Are there any secret passages to any of the rooms and galleries which
+are the scene of tonight’s festivities?” I asked a doorkeeper. He looked
+at me in surprise, and answered:
+
+“All ways of communication were opened today because of the crowd of
+guests, but for safety’s sake guarded and watched more carefully than
+usual. Only the tapestried corridor running the length of the great
+colonnade to the royal apartments was left unguarded, since in that
+place there is no possibility of improper intrusion.”
+
+A new idea flashed across me. The spot on which I had first set eyes on
+my nun was at the entrance to that corridor. Might not a member of the
+royal family have elected to make me, as a novice in this foreign court
+society, the subject of a merry jest? No doubt the nun was a man in
+disguise, and the young princes and dukes were probably capable of
+pouncing on the victim and dancing him to death.
+
+My confusion was perhaps very diverting, and the secrecy of the few
+spectators of the joke, who were, of course, initiated, was quite
+praiseworthy.
+
+They asserted not having seen a nun at all, and laughed at me for having
+rushed round the room alone, like a lunatic, Obviously there was no
+further room for doubt, this explanation and no other was valid. Why had
+I not thought of this before!
+
+So I joined in the hilarity of the others and made the best of my
+discomfiture. In any case, the manner in which my partner had dismissed
+me betrayed a pair of powerful masculine fists! My shoulders, on which
+she had come down so vigorously ached as if they were broken, and I was
+still unable to conquer entirely a peculiar sensation of uneasiness.
+But while I was pursuing my investigations the clock struck twelve,
+the company unmasked, and gaily flocked toward the Supper rooms. I
+felt particularly entitled to refreshments, and in the course of my
+indulgence in the good things of my selection, my faintness--which was
+more astonishing to my robust, muscular young self than any carnival
+joke in the world could have been--passed off completely. I was as happy
+and lively as before, and enjoyed the remainder of the ball as much as
+I had the beginning. I tried to dismiss the episode from my mind. For a
+few days I felt a dull pain in my shoulders, which annoyed me at night
+also, and disturbed my sleep. The image of the nun haunted me, and the
+sombre, penetrating eyes were present to me in my very dreams. This
+vexed me, and I mentally abused the royal gentleman in every key who had
+pushed his joke rather too far.
+
+A week passed, and the court chamberlain issued invitations for the
+third masked ball at the palace. I purchased a sailor’s dress, and on
+the evening of the ball tripped up the marble stairs in the best of
+spirits. It had in the meanwhile occurred to me that I had perhaps
+imbibed too much, and that the prince in nun’s clothing had perhaps
+observed my condition, and made me his victim for that reason. But I
+rejected that proposition. In the first place, I had not taken much to
+drink; certainly two or three glasses of champagne and lemonade were
+not worth mentioning when I remembered what quantities of alcohol I had
+frequently absorbed in my university days in Germany. I was a brave boon
+companion, and capable of consuming a great deal. So how should a few
+paltry little glasses make me so unsteady on my feet as to collapse
+in dancing a fast gallop? Absurd! I was sure enough of myself, and
+sufficiently well brought up in social customs, to know how much one
+may drink at a court ball. No--I was convinced that I had not been
+intoxicated, but on this occasion I resolved to exercise special
+caution, and to be strictly temperate, in the event of the disguised
+perpetrator of pranks again attempting to make the German stranger the
+butt of his impudence. This time he should meet his match; I would keep
+my head clear and my feet steady enough to venture a dance with him. The
+constantly suspicious attitude of my mind, to be sure, interfered with
+my pleasure very considerably. I was in a too observant mood to float on
+the topmost wave of enjoyment, and besides an extraordinary disquietude
+had seized upon me, a contraction about the heart that was quite new to
+me, such as sensitive people undergo before a storm or in anticipation
+of momentous changes of fortune. I wandered about restlessly. Numerous
+though the merry masks that flitted around me, that nun’s indescribable
+black eyes did not appear, and no effort was made to involve me again as
+the hero of another frolic. Time was dragging heavily. I glanced at my
+watch, and wished the supper hour might be near. The finger only pointed
+to half past eleven, so that I must still possess my soul in patience
+for half an hour. It was a lovely, mild, moonlight night; the doors to
+the tapestried passage and the colonnade had been thrown open, and I
+concluded to take a breath of the fragrant air and a rapid view of the
+illuminated town in its festive brilliancy of a carnival night.
+
+A female pierrot dances past me with Don Juan, and, with a laugh,
+throws a handful of confetti in my face. I retaliate--a few phrases are
+exchanged--I look after her for a moment--and then turn to the entrance
+of the corridor, to get out into the colonnade.
+
+I am rooted to the ground!
+
+Standing aside in a corner, on the very same spot as before, is my nun,
+staring at me with the same unfathomable eyes as a week ago!
+
+Where had she come from?
+
+Out of the ground? Or had she slipped in through the door during my
+banter with the pierrot?
+
+She had come through the door, of course.
+
+I am utterly amazed. The same costume. The same joke. How clumsy of the
+prince to repeat himself, I am inclined to ignore the impertinent young
+gentleman, and pass him proudly by--yet--strange--again I am attracted
+irresistibly, as by a supernatural power, held by those black orbs. I
+am quite certain of my wits this time: the dress is really the forbidden
+costume of a nun, and, so far as I can judge, exact in every particular.
+On her breast hangs a large cross, which is especially conspicuous. It
+is of dull gold, with emeralds and pearls inlaid, of peculiar shape,
+and certainly antique. The pious nun seems to have regaled herself with
+excessive haste at some sideboard, since the white collar and the front
+of the gray bodice show oblong dark stains, as though some beverage had
+been spilt.
+
+“Well, fair mask,” finally remark in a mocking tone, although my heart
+is beating furiously, “you have been waiting for me here, I presume?”
+
+She nods slowly and solemnly.
+
+“Do you imagine, by chance, that I wish to dance another hurricane with
+you?”
+
+Again she assents, but more emphatically.
+
+“Then,” say I, ironically, “see where you can find a new blockhead, my
+muscular fairy! My shoulders are not well yet!”
+
+Her arms move--hands there are none visible in the long, roomy
+sleeves--they are stretched out to me as if in mute appeal. A cold
+shiver runs down my back, I know not why.
+
+“If I dance with you again,” I angrily exclaim, “you will not fare quite
+so well as last time! I am firmer on my feet to-night than I was last
+week!”
+
+She presses her arms to her breast, something like a tremor agitates the
+gray shape, and her head is slightly raised. Her position and demeanor,
+though she utters not a word, denote intense longing.
+
+The blood rushes to my head--I must go a step nearer to her--I must!
+
+“If I dance with you, it will be only on one condition!”
+
+With a profound sigh her bosom heaves, her arms fall to her side, her
+body is humbly bent forward as if in complete surrender, and as if to
+say: Ask what you will!
+
+“My condition is that you afterward reveal yourself.”
+
+She nods stiffly, like a marionette.
+
+“Swear to it!”
+
+She raises her arm for the oath, but the gray folds still conceal her
+hand.
+
+“Woe betide you if you deceive me!”
+
+She shakes her head, and repeats the passionate gesture of entreaty. Her
+slender form trembles with feverish impatience, and the wonderful eyes
+seem to plead, in extreme urgency: Come quickly!
+
+I put out my arms--
+
+Once more does the terrible woman rush at me, once more am I held in
+that mad embrace, once more--on the wings of the wind--do we dash round
+the room! And once more are all my senses lost in the fiendish whirl!
+
+I attempt to struggle, would pit the abounding strength of my youth
+against the woman and subdue her. In vain! I can think, I can act, no
+longer. My whole being is in a swoon, and I am conscious of nothing but
+two icy lips pressed upon mine with a vehemence calculated to draw my
+very life out of me.
+
+A shudder seizes me, and the fear of death, and then--again that blow on
+my shoulders--
+
+I feel as if a pair of iron clamps had been taken off me and I had been
+freed, and I sink down upon a sofa.
+
+A laughing, jeering crowd surrounds me, shouting:
+
+“The sailor is crazy! He has gone out of his mind!”
+
+Have I again been dancing alone in public?
+
+I jump up in a rage, and exclaim, as I toss back my dishevelled hair
+from my burning brow:
+
+“Abominable trickery! Let me pass! Let me get my hands on her, and
+unmask her!”
+
+Something rings on the floor. It has fallen from my hand, hitherto
+clenched and just now opened. Triumphantly I snatch it up, exulting:
+
+“Her cross! Ha! that shall be my clue!”
+
+On this occasion, too, no trace of the mysterious nun was to be found.
+It was at first superciliously assumed, as before, that I must be drunk
+or insane, but my serious mood and energetic investigations soon altered
+that notion. I might myself have doubted my mental soundness had it not
+been for the cross in my hand, which I at once recognized as being that
+worn by the nun, and had not a lackey finally confessed to having beheld
+the strange figure. He was coming from the colonnade with a tray of
+refreshments when he saw me in conversation with her. The mask had
+something familiar about her, he said, but he could not remember where
+he had seen her before. He had been a servant in the palace for forty
+years.
+
+Nobody thought of a spectre; on the other hand extravagant speculations
+became rife of a conspirator being at work. It was rumored the king had
+originally intended to wear a sailor costume.
+
+Of course, it was him the uncanny visitor had designs upon. In view of
+the fact that the political horizon was very dark and clouded at that
+time, the conjecture was perhaps not altogether phantastical, and for
+this reason the report quickly reached the ears of the king and the
+royal family. I was promptly summoned before His Majesty, and it gave
+me a sort of revengeful pleasure to relate the incident to that august
+person. For I was still fully persuaded that some young member of his
+family had played this obnoxious trick upon me.
+
+The king nodded thoughtfully upon my frank declaration that, according
+to my researches, the enigmatical female could only have come from the
+royal apartments.
+
+Said his Majesty:
+
+“May I ask you, my dear Baron, to show me the cross you found?”
+
+I put it into his hand.
+
+For a moment the king stared upon it speechless. Then he turned it
+over, and ejaculated, roughly almost under the emotion of his violent
+surprise:
+
+“Great God--why--it is--!”
+
+And he pointed to the small, delicately engraved initials, surmounted by
+a crown, in the middle of the cross. Very pale and with heaving breast
+he went on:
+
+“A nun, a gray nun, you say? What would the object of such a joke be?
+and how--how should this cross come back among the living? Baron, come
+with me, I must request your confidence and secrecy!”
+
+We passed through several rooms, and then arrived at a narrow gallery
+whose walls were hung with portraits of royal personages. The king came
+abruptly to a halt, and without himself looking up indicated a certain
+picture:
+
+“Observe that painting! Do you see the same Cross there that you have in
+your hand?”
+
+Involuntarily I uttered the loud cry:
+
+“Why, that is she! Holy Heavens! It is my nun!”
+
+“The cross--compare the cross!” urged the king, his slender, white hand
+trembling with agitation.
+
+A frosty current ran through my veins as I compared the pictured cross
+with that in my companion’s hand. It was the same--not a doubt of
+it--and the eyes, too, were the same, as also the dress and the whole
+figure were unmistakably those of the gray nun I had danced with. Yet
+in those conspicuously large, deep black eyes lay not an expression of
+peacefulness and mild resignation, but a world of passionate feeling.
+Having assured the king of the identity of the cross, and he having
+informed me that it was an ancient heirloom of which no duplicate
+existed, he bade me accompany him further.
+
+Arrived in the antechamber to his apartments, the king gave an order to
+one of the attendants on duty there. He walked up and down the room for
+a few moments in visible excitement, and then, stopping before me, and
+looking at me searchingly, he asked:
+
+“Have you ever, in the course of your life, met with a manifestation of
+the supernatural?”
+
+I was so bewildered and nervous that I scarcely could remember enough
+French to reply:
+
+“May it please your Majesty, I have not.”
+
+“Do you believe in the possibility of the dead returning?”
+
+“Not in the sense of their coming as apparitions. I always was, still
+am, a skeptic on the point of ghost stories in general, nevertheless I
+am a Christian, and I believe and know that we continue to live after
+death.”
+
+The king stared at me mechanically:
+
+“You are a Protestant, and you say you are a skeptic. Curious--only you
+saw the apparition--it was revealed to no one else?”
+
+“Then your Majesty is of the opinion that this is actually a case of a
+spectral apparition?”
+
+“Certainly. It seems much more plausible than open theft. This very
+cross I myself--”
+
+He interrupted his sentence as he turned to the door, through which,
+with profound obeisances, entered two ladies in waiting--probably the
+queen’s. His Majesty addressed one of them in French, no doubt to enable
+me to participate in the conversation:
+
+“You were present, Madame M., when Princess A. was laid in her coffin
+seventeen years ago?”
+
+A low curtsey was the affirmative reply.
+
+“And you also, Madame U.?”
+
+“I had the honor, your Majesty, of rendering her royal highness the last
+earthly services.”
+
+“You remember perfectly what dress the deceased was buried in?”
+
+“Quite well, your Majesty. It was the regular dress of the Order of Gray
+Sisters, of which her royal highness was a member.”
+
+“Do you recollect whether she took any ornaments to her last resting
+place?”
+
+“Excepting the golden cross which your Majesty hung round her neck
+on the day she took the vow, no jewelry was put on the princess. The
+duchess even drew the little sapphire ring from her royal highness’
+finger, to keep it as a remembrance and wear it herself.”
+
+“You are absolutely certain that the cross went into the coffin? You
+could swear to it?”
+
+“I could do so with fullest conviction, your Majesty.”
+
+“Would you recognize the cross?”
+
+“To be sure I should.”
+
+“Is this it?”
+
+“Good Heavens--it is! On the back there ought to be the initials of her
+royal highness!”
+
+“Here they are,” said the king, reversing the cross. The old woman
+shrank back appalled.
+
+“Then, your Majesty, the vault has been broken into!”
+
+“Possibly it has. The matter shall be investigated. I am much obliged to
+you, ladies, and earnestly request you will both preserve unconditional
+silence as to our present interview.”
+
+“Well,” said the king to me, after the ladies in waiting had withdrawn,
+“how do you account for this cross being here in my hand, considering
+it was put into the coffin? You think the vault may have been pillaged?
+That, I believe, is out of the question. The object of a carnival freak,
+which could have been perpetrated just as easily in any other dress, is
+far too slight to make such a horrible offense as the violation of the
+dead worth while! But I intend to have the vault examined, and beg, my
+dear baron, that you will attend. For the present, good night.”
+
+I spent a dreadful night, torturing my sleepless brain for a solution
+of the riddle, and being forever haunted by the nun’s dark eyes. It was
+late when I woke.
+
+Some hours after, the coffin was opened in the presence of the king,
+whose surmise proved correct. The bolts on the coffin were intact. The
+gold chain was there, safe round the princess’ neck. But the cross was
+gone. There was not the remotest sign of violence.
+
+How I got out of that vault, I do not know. I remember feeling faint,
+and being supported by two court officials. I am unaware of what
+happened next. It was the only instance in my life in which my system
+had so entirely given way. A serious illness was apprehended, but
+my strong constitution won the day. For a long time my mind was in a
+precarious state.
+
+When I had recovered, the king sent for me.
+
+“Are you still a skeptic?” he asked in a grave voice.
+
+“No, your Majesty, I am convinced now.”
+
+Whereupon the king himself deigned to communicate to me the particulars
+relating to the golden cross.
+
+Princess A. was a daughter of one of his cousins, and she was their
+fifth child. The duchess, a very pious woman, made a vow before the
+birth of her sixth child, that if it was a boy, her youngest daughter
+should be dedicated to the service of the church and take the veil. A
+son was born, and Princess A. henceforth was educated for the profession
+of a nun in becoming retirement and seclusion. Unfortunately, however,
+the natural traits of the girl seemed to be entirely in opposition to
+that reverend calling. An irrepressible vivacity of spirit, an intense
+coveting of worldly joys and pleasures characterized her, and the more
+she was separated from the world the more ardent grew her desire to live
+in it. Heartrending scenes of resistance and tears were enacted, and
+the reigning sovereign felt so much pity for the spirited young creature
+that he attempted to save her from her fate of being immured in convent
+walls by offering to apply to the pope for a dispensation releasing the
+mother from her promise. But the duchess desperately combated this idea.
+Her wild laments, that to break her vow would entail her forfeiture of
+eternal salvation, her protestations, her tears, her entreaties, at last
+prevailed upon the princess to join the Order of the Gray Sisters. For a
+short space all seemed to go well. The fervid heart of the royal nun was
+apparently beating placidly, in the quiet claustral surroundings. But
+during the winter the duchess fell sick, and the young bride of the
+church was called to her bedside. Princess A. had remained with her
+mother for several weeks, and about that time the carnival season began.
+Masked balls were given in the palace, and while the horns and violins
+were sounding in the ballroom Princess A. lay on her knees in the throes
+of dreadful despair, tearing her hair in furious longing for that lost
+paradise. She at last succeeded in bribing a chambermaid to secretly
+procure her a fancy dress. If it was to cost her immortal soul, once
+she would dance and be young and happy! The plot was betrayed, and the
+angriest reproaches were poured out by her parents upon the perjured,
+rebellious nun! Princess A. was locked up, and was to be removed to the
+convent the next day. However, as the festivities in the palace were
+reaching their height that night, the unhappy young nun lay expiring in
+her room. She had taken poison, although the report was spread in the
+capital that failure of the heart had caused her death. How she came
+into possession of the poison no one ever discovered. While she was
+writhing in terrible agony her half-crazed mother put a cup of milk to
+her lips as an antidote. She dashed it passionately aside and the spilt
+milk left stains on her dress.
+
+How hard it was to die! Again and again she tore her black hair. Again
+and again she uttered the bitterest imprecations and the fiercest cries
+for a taste of youth and happiness. At length she stood up, straining
+her ears for the music in the ballroom.
+
+And then she screamed aloud:
+
+“Oh, I must dance once! I must kiss once! Let me be happy once! I cannot
+die before I dance! Let me go--let me dance--let me--”
+
+She drew herself up to her full height, her eyes glowed like live coals,
+she took a few steps towards the door--
+
+“I must dance--let me dance!” she gasped, and fell stiffly forward on
+the floor--dead.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Gray Nun, by Nataly Von Eschstruth
+
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+<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en">
+ <head>
+ <title>
+ The Gray Nun, by Nataly von Eschstruth
+ </title>
+ <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve">
+
+ body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify}
+ P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; }
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+ .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; }
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+ .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;}
+ .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;}
+ .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;}
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+ div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; }
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+ .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal;
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+ text-align: right;}
+ pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;}
+
+</style>
+ </head>
+ <body>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Gray Nun, by Nataly Von Eschstruth
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Gray Nun
+
+Author: Nataly Von Eschstruth
+
+Translator: Lionel Strachey
+
+Release Date: October 27, 2007 [EBook #23220]
+Last Updated: November 5, 2016
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GRAY NUN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+ <div style="height: 8em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h1>
+ THE GRAY NUN
+ </h1>
+ <h2>
+ By Nataly Von Eschstruth
+ </h2>
+ <h3>
+ Translated from the German by Lionel Strachey
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When I was a young man I once made a foreign journey, betaking myself to
+ the royal court of X. on affairs of state. In those days politics would
+ take strange turns, not of unmixed delight, and so it happened that my
+ mission was prolonged well into the winter, and kept me at X. until the
+ carnival season. But at this I did not repine, for to pass a winter in a
+ beautiful climate and amid the fascinating society of a court seemed a
+ welcome change to my enthusiastic, pleasure-loving young soul.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The reigning sovereign had a predilection for masked balls,&mdash;a
+ traditionally favorite amusement at the palace, I was told&mdash;and
+ accordingly several fancy dress festivities were enacted on the royal
+ premises during the carnival. The first I was unable to participate in
+ because of an inflamed eye, and therefore awaited the second with all the
+ keener anticipation.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the becoming costume of a Prussian officer in the army of Frederick the
+ Great, and with the agreeable sensation of being specially well disguised
+ beneath my mask and safe from recognition, I mingled in the gay throng of
+ the dancers and enjoyed to the full the charm of the brilliant and
+ delicious event. An exquisitely graceful little water-nix had conquered my
+ heart. The champagne was bubbling in my blood, and in wild spirits I was
+ pursuing the fleeing Undine into an adjacent apartment.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Suddenly I stopped as though spellbound, and found myself staring into a
+ pair of dark eyes, black as night, which were rigidly fixed upon me.
+ Standing aloof, in a corner of the room, I saw a nun. Her long gray
+ garment reached to the ground, and lay about her very feet in folds like a
+ train. Her arms hung straight down, the hands being concealed in the loose
+ sleeves. White linen bands covered her head and chin, and rendered even
+ her mouth invisible, while her forehead and the upper part of her face
+ were protected by a black velvet mask. And the blackness of those eyes
+ that penetrated me was so intense that scarcely were any whites
+ discernible.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ An indescribable emotion ran over me as I stood under the ban of an evil
+ power, as it were, returning the look of that strange figure. I had
+ forgotten Undine. Drawn by some invisible force, I approached the nun with
+ mechanical footstep.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Why, fair mask,&rdquo; I accosted her with a bold laugh, &ldquo;are you alone? Surely
+ you know that for dancing and love two are needed!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Briefly, like a Chinese idol, she nodded her head in assent; a thrill
+ seemed to pass over her wonderfully slender shape; yet she did not budge.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I became more venturesome from a sudden feeling as of fire rushing through
+ my veins.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You may be vowed to seclusion, beautiful bride of Heaven, but to-day the
+ convent walls have released you, to-day you are of the world and the
+ flesh, to-day you are mine!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Thus I cried aloud, forgetting in my excitement that I was in a country
+ where my mother tongue was only spoken and understood at the German
+ legation.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In a moment it occurred to me: Did the mask know German?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To my astonishment, she gave an immediate sign of intelligence by gliding,
+ silently as a shadow, another step in my direction, and her biasing eyes
+ appeared to kindle with merriment. Had she a veil over her eyes? It almost
+ looked so and this extraordinary measure of precaution challenged me the
+ more strongly to overcome her reluctance to being known.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Do you understand me?&rdquo; I asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She nodded in the same brief, jerky manner as before.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Do you know me?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Similarly she answered by negative motions of the head. I stepped up close
+ to her with the question:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;But will you not know me and love me? Come into my arms, and let us
+ dance!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Then something happened that at the moment I found surprising and
+ extremely startling, yet which I took for a mere carnival freak, while
+ later on I could scarce review the occurrence with any degree of
+ clearness.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The nun threw her arms about me abruptly and almost desperately, and
+ whirled me into a frenzied dance. I felt no body between my arms, and did
+ not hear the rustle of her dress; I only saw those enigmatic dark eyes,
+ which glowed near, very near, my own. And in mad career, regardless of the
+ musical time or of the tune played, my curious partner tore around the
+ room with me faster and faster, and with ever increasing fury. Her arms
+ gripped me tighter and tighter and I was threatened with complete loss of
+ breath in the wild race. Of a sudden I received a violent blow, resembling
+ an electric shock, from each of her hands on my shoulders, felt myself all
+ at once liberated, and staggered faint against a pyramid of plants.
+ Boisterous laughter sounded on my ear; some other masks had surrounded and
+ seized me, exclaiming:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Look at the fine gentleman! He is out of his mind, dancing about the room
+ like a madman, quite alone!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I opened my eyes and looked all around. What had become of my partner?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Not a sign of her was to be seen, although this other room was likewise
+ very large, just then not well filled with people.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Have I been dancing alone?&rdquo; I gasped, tearing the mask off my burning
+ face.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Quite alone! Did you imagine it was with your sweetheart?&rdquo; was the
+ mocking, noisy reply.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was deeply annoyed. &ldquo;Nonsense!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;You are all in the conspiracy!
+ Where has the nun gone? It was no lady at all, it was a man in disguise!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They laughed still more, and some whispered behind fans that I must be
+ drunk.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Strange sensations invaded me. Had a joke been played at my expense? Had a
+ member of the German legation dressed in female clothes, and in the height
+ of his whimsical caprice danced with me in that insane fashion? Were the
+ guests in the secret, and were they amusing themselves&mdash;as the
+ freedom of the carnival permitted&mdash;with teasing a foreigner? Yet
+ surely the mysterious nun must be discoverable. My knees were trembling
+ from a weakness I was unable to account for, but I collected myself, and
+ while various thoughts coursed through my brain for a solution of this
+ carnival prank, I hastened with feverish speed through rooms and galleries
+ in quest of the nun. But in vain. I espied neither herself, nor met anyone
+ who had seen her. The lackeys and doorkeepers assured me in perfect good
+ faith that they had seen no nun of any sort.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;The costume is one of which His Majesty does not approve,&rdquo; I was informed
+ in the cloak-room. &ldquo;It is considered irreverent to appear at balls here in
+ the spiritual garb of a nun or a monk, and therefore it is not done. It
+ would certainly have been observed by us had any lady or gentleman
+ transgressed against the prevailing usage.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Then perhaps I may have mistaken for a nun some other mask, who intended
+ in her gray suit to represent Twilight or Care,&rdquo; I excused myself
+ hesitatingly, though I had an accurate eye for dresses, and could have
+ registered a solemn oath that the mysterious unknown was even wearing
+ especially authentic claustral attire. No one, however, could by any
+ effort remember having noticed a costume anything like that described by
+ me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Are there any secret passages to any of the rooms and galleries which are
+ the scene of tonight&rsquo;s festivities?&rdquo; I asked a doorkeeper. He looked at me
+ in surprise, and answered:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;All ways of communication were opened today because of the crowd of
+ guests, but for safety&rsquo;s sake guarded and watched more carefully than
+ usual. Only the tapestried corridor running the length of the great
+ colonnade to the royal apartments was left unguarded, since in that place
+ there is no possibility of improper intrusion.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A new idea flashed across me. The spot on which I had first set eyes on my
+ nun was at the entrance to that corridor. Might not a member of the royal
+ family have elected to make me, as a novice in this foreign court society,
+ the subject of a merry jest? No doubt the nun was a man in disguise, and
+ the young princes and dukes were probably capable of pouncing on the
+ victim and dancing him to death.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My confusion was perhaps very diverting, and the secrecy of the few
+ spectators of the joke, who were, of course, initiated, was quite
+ praiseworthy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They asserted not having seen a nun at all, and laughed at me for having
+ rushed round the room alone, like a lunatic, Obviously there was no
+ further room for doubt, this explanation and no other was valid. Why had I
+ not thought of this before!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ So I joined in the hilarity of the others and made the best of my
+ discomfiture. In any case, the manner in which my partner had dismissed me
+ betrayed a pair of powerful masculine fists! My shoulders, on which she
+ had come down so vigorously ached as if they were broken, and I was still
+ unable to conquer entirely a peculiar sensation of uneasiness. But while I
+ was pursuing my investigations the clock struck twelve, the company
+ unmasked, and gaily flocked toward the Supper rooms. I felt particularly
+ entitled to refreshments, and in the course of my indulgence in the good
+ things of my selection, my faintness&mdash;which was more astonishing to
+ my robust, muscular young self than any carnival joke in the world could
+ have been&mdash;passed off completely. I was as happy and lively as
+ before, and enjoyed the remainder of the ball as much as I had the
+ beginning. I tried to dismiss the episode from my mind. For a few days I
+ felt a dull pain in my shoulders, which annoyed me at night also, and
+ disturbed my sleep. The image of the nun haunted me, and the sombre,
+ penetrating eyes were present to me in my very dreams. This vexed me, and
+ I mentally abused the royal gentleman in every key who had pushed his joke
+ rather too far.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A week passed, and the court chamberlain issued invitations for the third
+ masked ball at the palace. I purchased a sailor&rsquo;s dress, and on the
+ evening of the ball tripped up the marble stairs in the best of spirits.
+ It had in the meanwhile occurred to me that I had perhaps imbibed too
+ much, and that the prince in nun&rsquo;s clothing had perhaps observed my
+ condition, and made me his victim for that reason. But I rejected that
+ proposition. In the first place, I had not taken much to drink; certainly
+ two or three glasses of champagne and lemonade were not worth mentioning
+ when I remembered what quantities of alcohol I had frequently absorbed in
+ my university days in Germany. I was a brave boon companion, and capable
+ of consuming a great deal. So how should a few paltry little glasses make
+ me so unsteady on my feet as to collapse in dancing a fast gallop? Absurd!
+ I was sure enough of myself, and sufficiently well brought up in social
+ customs, to know how much one may drink at a court ball. No&mdash;I was
+ convinced that I had not been intoxicated, but on this occasion I resolved
+ to exercise special caution, and to be strictly temperate, in the event of
+ the disguised perpetrator of pranks again attempting to make the German
+ stranger the butt of his impudence. This time he should meet his match; I
+ would keep my head clear and my feet steady enough to venture a dance with
+ him. The constantly suspicious attitude of my mind, to be sure, interfered
+ with my pleasure very considerably. I was in a too observant mood to float
+ on the topmost wave of enjoyment, and besides an extraordinary disquietude
+ had seized upon me, a contraction about the heart that was quite new to
+ me, such as sensitive people undergo before a storm or in anticipation of
+ momentous changes of fortune. I wandered about restlessly. Numerous though
+ the merry masks that flitted around me, that nun&rsquo;s indescribable black
+ eyes did not appear, and no effort was made to involve me again as the
+ hero of another frolic. Time was dragging heavily. I glanced at my watch,
+ and wished the supper hour might be near. The finger only pointed to half
+ past eleven, so that I must still possess my soul in patience for half an
+ hour. It was a lovely, mild, moonlight night; the doors to the tapestried
+ passage and the colonnade had been thrown open, and I concluded to take a
+ breath of the fragrant air and a rapid view of the illuminated town in its
+ festive brilliancy of a carnival night.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A female pierrot dances past me with Don Juan, and, with a laugh, throws a
+ handful of confetti in my face. I retaliate&mdash;a few phrases are
+ exchanged&mdash;I look after her for a moment&mdash;and then turn to the
+ entrance of the corridor, to get out into the colonnade.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I am rooted to the ground!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Standing aside in a corner, on the very same spot as before, is my nun,
+ staring at me with the same unfathomable eyes as a week ago!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Where had she come from?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Out of the ground? Or had she slipped in through the door during my banter
+ with the pierrot?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She had come through the door, of course.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I am utterly amazed. The same costume. The same joke. How clumsy of the
+ prince to repeat himself, I am inclined to ignore the impertinent young
+ gentleman, and pass him proudly by&mdash;yet&mdash;strange&mdash;again I
+ am attracted irresistibly, as by a supernatural power, held by those black
+ orbs. I am quite certain of my wits this time: the dress is really the
+ forbidden costume of a nun, and, so far as I can judge, exact in every
+ particular. On her breast hangs a large cross, which is especially
+ conspicuous. It is of dull gold, with emeralds and pearls inlaid, of
+ peculiar shape, and certainly antique. The pious nun seems to have regaled
+ herself with excessive haste at some sideboard, since the white collar and
+ the front of the gray bodice show oblong dark stains, as though some
+ beverage had been spilt.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Well, fair mask,&rdquo; finally remark in a mocking tone, although my heart is
+ beating furiously, &ldquo;you have been waiting for me here, I presume?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She nods slowly and solemnly.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Do you imagine, by chance, that I wish to dance another hurricane with
+ you?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Again she assents, but more emphatically.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Then,&rdquo; say I, ironically, &ldquo;see where you can find a new blockhead, my
+ muscular fairy! My shoulders are not well yet!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Her arms move&mdash;hands there are none visible in the long, roomy
+ sleeves&mdash;they are stretched out to me as if in mute appeal. A cold
+ shiver runs down my back, I know not why.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;If I dance with you again,&rdquo; I angrily exclaim, &ldquo;you will not fare quite
+ so well as last time! I am firmer on my feet to-night than I was last
+ week!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She presses her arms to her breast, something like a tremor agitates the
+ gray shape, and her head is slightly raised. Her position and demeanor,
+ though she utters not a word, denote intense longing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The blood rushes to my head&mdash;I must go a step nearer to her&mdash;I
+ must!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;If I dance with you, it will be only on one condition!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With a profound sigh her bosom heaves, her arms fall to her side, her body
+ is humbly bent forward as if in complete surrender, and as if to say: Ask
+ what you will!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;My condition is that you afterward reveal yourself.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She nods stiffly, like a marionette.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Swear to it!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She raises her arm for the oath, but the gray folds still conceal her
+ hand.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Woe betide you if you deceive me!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She shakes her head, and repeats the passionate gesture of entreaty. Her
+ slender form trembles with feverish impatience, and the wonderful eyes
+ seem to plead, in extreme urgency: Come quickly!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I put out my arms&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Once more does the terrible woman rush at me, once more am I held in that
+ mad embrace, once more&mdash;on the wings of the wind&mdash;do we dash
+ round the room! And once more are all my senses lost in the fiendish
+ whirl!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I attempt to struggle, would pit the abounding strength of my youth
+ against the woman and subdue her. In vain! I can think, I can act, no
+ longer. My whole being is in a swoon, and I am conscious of nothing but
+ two icy lips pressed upon mine with a vehemence calculated to draw my very
+ life out of me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A shudder seizes me, and the fear of death, and then&mdash;again that blow
+ on my shoulders&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I feel as if a pair of iron clamps had been taken off me and I had been
+ freed, and I sink down upon a sofa.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A laughing, jeering crowd surrounds me, shouting:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;The sailor is crazy! He has gone out of his mind!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Have I again been dancing alone in public?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I jump up in a rage, and exclaim, as I toss back my dishevelled hair from
+ my burning brow:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Abominable trickery! Let me pass! Let me get my hands on her, and unmask
+ her!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Something rings on the floor. It has fallen from my hand, hitherto
+ clenched and just now opened. Triumphantly I snatch it up, exulting:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Her cross! Ha! that shall be my clue!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On this occasion, too, no trace of the mysterious nun was to be found. It
+ was at first superciliously assumed, as before, that I must be drunk or
+ insane, but my serious mood and energetic investigations soon altered that
+ notion. I might myself have doubted my mental soundness had it not been
+ for the cross in my hand, which I at once recognized as being that worn by
+ the nun, and had not a lackey finally confessed to having beheld the
+ strange figure. He was coming from the colonnade with a tray of
+ refreshments when he saw me in conversation with her. The mask had
+ something familiar about her, he said, but he could not remember where he
+ had seen her before. He had been a servant in the palace for forty years.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Nobody thought of a spectre; on the other hand extravagant speculations
+ became rife of a conspirator being at work. It was rumored the king had
+ originally intended to wear a sailor costume.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of course, it was him the uncanny visitor had designs upon. In view of the
+ fact that the political horizon was very dark and clouded at that time,
+ the conjecture was perhaps not altogether phantastical, and for this
+ reason the report quickly reached the ears of the king and the royal
+ family. I was promptly summoned before His Majesty, and it gave me a sort
+ of revengeful pleasure to relate the incident to that august person. For I
+ was still fully persuaded that some young member of his family had played
+ this obnoxious trick upon me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The king nodded thoughtfully upon my frank declaration that, according to
+ my researches, the enigmatical female could only have come from the royal
+ apartments.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Said his Majesty:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;May I ask you, my dear Baron, to show me the cross you found?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I put it into his hand.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For a moment the king stared upon it speechless. Then he turned it over,
+ and ejaculated, roughly almost under the emotion of his violent surprise:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Great God&mdash;why&mdash;it is&mdash;!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And he pointed to the small, delicately engraved initials, surmounted by a
+ crown, in the middle of the cross. Very pale and with heaving breast he
+ went on:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;A nun, a gray nun, you say? What would the object of such a joke be? and
+ how&mdash;how should this cross come back among the living? Baron, come
+ with me, I must request your confidence and secrecy!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We passed through several rooms, and then arrived at a narrow gallery
+ whose walls were hung with portraits of royal personages. The king came
+ abruptly to a halt, and without himself looking up indicated a certain
+ picture:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Observe that painting! Do you see the same Cross there that you have in
+ your hand?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Involuntarily I uttered the loud cry:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Why, that is she! Holy Heavens! It is my nun!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;The cross&mdash;compare the cross!&rdquo; urged the king, his slender, white
+ hand trembling with agitation.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A frosty current ran through my veins as I compared the pictured cross
+ with that in my companion&rsquo;s hand. It was the same&mdash;not a doubt of it&mdash;and
+ the eyes, too, were the same, as also the dress and the whole figure were
+ unmistakably those of the gray nun I had danced with. Yet in those
+ conspicuously large, deep black eyes lay not an expression of peacefulness
+ and mild resignation, but a world of passionate feeling. Having assured
+ the king of the identity of the cross, and he having informed me that it
+ was an ancient heirloom of which no duplicate existed, he bade me
+ accompany him further.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Arrived in the antechamber to his apartments, the king gave an order to
+ one of the attendants on duty there. He walked up and down the room for a
+ few moments in visible excitement, and then, stopping before me, and
+ looking at me searchingly, he asked:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Have you ever, in the course of your life, met with a manifestation of
+ the supernatural?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was so bewildered and nervous that I scarcely could remember enough
+ French to reply:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;May it please your Majesty, I have not.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Do you believe in the possibility of the dead returning?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Not in the sense of their coming as apparitions. I always was, still am,
+ a skeptic on the point of ghost stories in general, nevertheless I am a
+ Christian, and I believe and know that we continue to live after death.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The king stared at me mechanically:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You are a Protestant, and you say you are a skeptic. Curious&mdash;only
+ you saw the apparition&mdash;it was revealed to no one else?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Then your Majesty is of the opinion that this is actually a case of a
+ spectral apparition?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Certainly. It seems much more plausible than open theft. This very cross
+ I myself&mdash;&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He interrupted his sentence as he turned to the door, through which, with
+ profound obeisances, entered two ladies in waiting&mdash;probably the
+ queen&rsquo;s. His Majesty addressed one of them in French, no doubt to enable
+ me to participate in the conversation:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You were present, Madame M., when Princess A. was laid in her coffin
+ seventeen years ago?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A low curtsey was the affirmative reply.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;And you also, Madame U.?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I had the honor, your Majesty, of rendering her royal highness the last
+ earthly services.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You remember perfectly what dress the deceased was buried in?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Quite well, your Majesty. It was the regular dress of the Order of Gray
+ Sisters, of which her royal highness was a member.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Do you recollect whether she took any ornaments to her last resting
+ place?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Excepting the golden cross which your Majesty hung round her neck on the
+ day she took the vow, no jewelry was put on the princess. The duchess even
+ drew the little sapphire ring from her royal highness&rsquo; finger, to keep it
+ as a remembrance and wear it herself.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You are absolutely certain that the cross went into the coffin? You could
+ swear to it?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I could do so with fullest conviction, your Majesty.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Would you recognize the cross?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;To be sure I should.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Is this it?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Good Heavens&mdash;it is! On the back there ought to be the initials of
+ her royal highness!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Here they are,&rdquo; said the king, reversing the cross. The old woman shrank
+ back appalled.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Then, your Majesty, the vault has been broken into!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Possibly it has. The matter shall be investigated. I am much obliged to
+ you, ladies, and earnestly request you will both preserve unconditional
+ silence as to our present interview.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said the king to me, after the ladies in waiting had withdrawn,
+ &ldquo;how do you account for this cross being here in my hand, considering it
+ was put into the coffin? You think the vault may have been pillaged? That,
+ I believe, is out of the question. The object of a carnival freak, which
+ could have been perpetrated just as easily in any other dress, is far too
+ slight to make such a horrible offense as the violation of the dead worth
+ while! But I intend to have the vault examined, and beg, my dear baron,
+ that you will attend. For the present, good night.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I spent a dreadful night, torturing my sleepless brain for a solution of
+ the riddle, and being forever haunted by the nun&rsquo;s dark eyes. It was late
+ when I woke.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Some hours after, the coffin was opened in the presence of the king, whose
+ surmise proved correct. The bolts on the coffin were intact. The gold
+ chain was there, safe round the princess&rsquo; neck. But the cross was gone.
+ There was not the remotest sign of violence.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ How I got out of that vault, I do not know. I remember feeling faint, and
+ being supported by two court officials. I am unaware of what happened
+ next. It was the only instance in my life in which my system had so
+ entirely given way. A serious illness was apprehended, but my strong
+ constitution won the day. For a long time my mind was in a precarious
+ state.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When I had recovered, the king sent for me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Are you still a skeptic?&rdquo; he asked in a grave voice.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;No, your Majesty, I am convinced now.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Whereupon the king himself deigned to communicate to me the particulars
+ relating to the golden cross.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Princess A. was a daughter of one of his cousins, and she was their fifth
+ child. The duchess, a very pious woman, made a vow before the birth of her
+ sixth child, that if it was a boy, her youngest daughter should be
+ dedicated to the service of the church and take the veil. A son was born,
+ and Princess A. henceforth was educated for the profession of a nun in
+ becoming retirement and seclusion. Unfortunately, however, the natural
+ traits of the girl seemed to be entirely in opposition to that reverend
+ calling. An irrepressible vivacity of spirit, an intense coveting of
+ worldly joys and pleasures characterized her, and the more she was
+ separated from the world the more ardent grew her desire to live in it.
+ Heartrending scenes of resistance and tears were enacted, and the reigning
+ sovereign felt so much pity for the spirited young creature that he
+ attempted to save her from her fate of being immured in convent walls by
+ offering to apply to the pope for a dispensation releasing the mother from
+ her promise. But the duchess desperately combated this idea. Her wild
+ laments, that to break her vow would entail her forfeiture of eternal
+ salvation, her protestations, her tears, her entreaties, at last prevailed
+ upon the princess to join the Order of the Gray Sisters. For a short space
+ all seemed to go well. The fervid heart of the royal nun was apparently
+ beating placidly, in the quiet claustral surroundings. But during the
+ winter the duchess fell sick, and the young bride of the church was called
+ to her bedside. Princess A. had remained with her mother for several
+ weeks, and about that time the carnival season began. Masked balls were
+ given in the palace, and while the horns and violins were sounding in the
+ ballroom Princess A. lay on her knees in the throes of dreadful despair,
+ tearing her hair in furious longing for that lost paradise. She at last
+ succeeded in bribing a chambermaid to secretly procure her a fancy dress.
+ If it was to cost her immortal soul, once she would dance and be young and
+ happy! The plot was betrayed, and the angriest reproaches were poured out
+ by her parents upon the perjured, rebellious nun! Princess A. was locked
+ up, and was to be removed to the convent the next day. However, as the
+ festivities in the palace were reaching their height that night, the
+ unhappy young nun lay expiring in her room. She had taken poison, although
+ the report was spread in the capital that failure of the heart had caused
+ her death. How she came into possession of the poison no one ever
+ discovered. While she was writhing in terrible agony her half-crazed
+ mother put a cup of milk to her lips as an antidote. She dashed it
+ passionately aside and the spilt milk left stains on her dress.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ How hard it was to die! Again and again she tore her black hair. Again and
+ again she uttered the bitterest imprecations and the fiercest cries for a
+ taste of youth and happiness. At length she stood up, straining her ears
+ for the music in the ballroom.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And then she screamed aloud:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Oh, I must dance once! I must kiss once! Let me be happy once! I cannot
+ die before I dance! Let me go&mdash;let me dance&mdash;let me&mdash;&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She drew herself up to her full height, her eyes glowed like live coals,
+ she took a few steps towards the door&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I must dance&mdash;let me dance!&rdquo; she gasped, and fell stiffly forward on
+ the floor&mdash;dead.
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 6em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Gray Nun, by Nataly Von Eschstruth
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+</pre>
+ </body>
+</html>
diff --git a/23220.txt b/23220.txt
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index 0000000..4a91018
--- /dev/null
+++ b/23220.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,990 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Gray Nun, by Nataly Von Eschstruth
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Gray Nun
+
+Author: Nataly Von Eschstruth
+
+Translator: Lionel Strachey
+
+Release Date: October 27, 2007 [EBook #23220]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GRAY NUN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+
+THE GRAY NUN
+
+By Nataly Von Eschstruth
+
+Translated from the German by Lionel Strachey
+
+
+When I was a young man I once made a foreign journey, betaking myself to
+the royal court of X. on affairs of state. In those days politics would
+take strange turns, not of unmixed delight, and so it happened that my
+mission was prolonged well into the winter, and kept me at X. until the
+carnival season. But at this I did not repine, for to pass a winter in
+a beautiful climate and amid the fascinating society of a court seemed a
+welcome change to my enthusiastic, pleasure-loving young soul.
+
+The reigning sovereign had a predilection for masked balls,--a
+traditionally favorite amusement at the palace, I was told--and
+accordingly several fancy dress festivities were enacted on the royal
+premises during the carnival. The first I was unable to participate in
+because of an inflamed eye, and therefore awaited the second with all
+the keener anticipation.
+
+In the becoming costume of a Prussian officer in the army of Frederick
+the Great, and with the agreeable sensation of being specially well
+disguised beneath my mask and safe from recognition, I mingled in the
+gay throng of the dancers and enjoyed to the full the charm of the
+brilliant and delicious event. An exquisitely graceful little water-nix
+had conquered my heart. The champagne was bubbling in my blood, and
+in wild spirits I was pursuing the fleeing Undine into an adjacent
+apartment.
+
+Suddenly I stopped as though spellbound, and found myself staring into
+a pair of dark eyes, black as night, which were rigidly fixed upon me.
+Standing aloof, in a corner of the room, I saw a nun. Her long gray
+garment reached to the ground, and lay about her very feet in folds like
+a train. Her arms hung straight down, the hands being concealed in the
+loose sleeves. White linen bands covered her head and chin, and rendered
+even her mouth invisible, while her forehead and the upper part of her
+face were protected by a black velvet mask. And the blackness of those
+eyes that penetrated me was so intense that scarcely were any whites
+discernible.
+
+An indescribable emotion ran over me as I stood under the ban of an
+evil power, as it were, returning the look of that strange figure. I had
+forgotten Undine. Drawn by some invisible force, I approached the nun
+with mechanical footstep.
+
+"Why, fair mask," I accosted her with a bold laugh, "are you alone?
+Surely you know that for dancing and love two are needed!"
+
+Briefly, like a Chinese idol, she nodded her head in assent; a thrill
+seemed to pass over her wonderfully slender shape; yet she did not
+budge.
+
+I became more venturesome from a sudden feeling as of fire rushing
+through my veins.
+
+"You may be vowed to seclusion, beautiful bride of Heaven, but to-day
+the convent walls have released you, to-day you are of the world and the
+flesh, to-day you are mine!"
+
+Thus I cried aloud, forgetting in my excitement that I was in a country
+where my mother tongue was only spoken and understood at the German
+legation.
+
+In a moment it occurred to me: Did the mask know German?
+
+To my astonishment, she gave an immediate sign of intelligence by
+gliding, silently as a shadow, another step in my direction, and her
+biasing eyes appeared to kindle with merriment. Had she a veil over her
+eyes? It almost looked so and this extraordinary measure of precaution
+challenged me the more strongly to overcome her reluctance to being
+known.
+
+"Do you understand me?" I asked.
+
+She nodded in the same brief, jerky manner as before.
+
+"Do you know me?"
+
+Similarly she answered by negative motions of the head. I stepped up
+close to her with the question:
+
+"But will you not know me and love me? Come into my arms, and let us
+dance!"
+
+Then something happened that at the moment I found surprising and
+extremely startling, yet which I took for a mere carnival freak,
+while later on I could scarce review the occurrence with any degree of
+clearness.
+
+The nun threw her arms about me abruptly and almost desperately, and
+whirled me into a frenzied dance. I felt no body between my arms, and
+did not hear the rustle of her dress; I only saw those enigmatic
+dark eyes, which glowed near, very near, my own. And in mad career,
+regardless of the musical time or of the tune played, my curious partner
+tore around the room with me faster and faster, and with ever increasing
+fury. Her arms gripped me tighter and tighter and I was threatened
+with complete loss of breath in the wild race. Of a sudden I received a
+violent blow, resembling an electric shock, from each of her hands on
+my shoulders, felt myself all at once liberated, and staggered faint
+against a pyramid of plants. Boisterous laughter sounded on my ear; some
+other masks had surrounded and seized me, exclaiming:
+
+"Look at the fine gentleman! He is out of his mind, dancing about the
+room like a madman, quite alone!"
+
+I opened my eyes and looked all around. What had become of my partner?
+
+Not a sign of her was to be seen, although this other room was likewise
+very large, just then not well filled with people.
+
+"Have I been dancing alone?" I gasped, tearing the mask off my burning
+face.
+
+"Quite alone! Did you imagine it was with your sweetheart?" was the
+mocking, noisy reply.
+
+I was deeply annoyed. "Nonsense!" I cried. "You are all in the
+conspiracy! Where has the nun gone? It was no lady at all, it was a man
+in disguise!"
+
+They laughed still more, and some whispered behind fans that I must be
+drunk.
+
+Strange sensations invaded me. Had a joke been played at my expense? Had
+a member of the German legation dressed in female clothes, and in the
+height of his whimsical caprice danced with me in that insane fashion?
+Were the guests in the secret, and were they amusing themselves--as the
+freedom of the carnival permitted--with teasing a foreigner? Yet surely
+the mysterious nun must be discoverable. My knees were trembling from a
+weakness I was unable to account for, but I collected myself, and
+while various thoughts coursed through my brain for a solution of
+this carnival prank, I hastened with feverish speed through rooms and
+galleries in quest of the nun. But in vain. I espied neither herself,
+nor met anyone who had seen her. The lackeys and doorkeepers assured me
+in perfect good faith that they had seen no nun of any sort.
+
+"The costume is one of which His Majesty does not approve," I was
+informed in the cloak-room. "It is considered irreverent to appear at
+balls here in the spiritual garb of a nun or a monk, and therefore it
+is not done. It would certainly have been observed by us had any lady or
+gentleman transgressed against the prevailing usage."
+
+"Then perhaps I may have mistaken for a nun some other mask, who
+intended in her gray suit to represent Twilight or Care," I excused
+myself hesitatingly, though I had an accurate eye for dresses, and
+could have registered a solemn oath that the mysterious unknown was even
+wearing especially authentic claustral attire. No one, however, could
+by any effort remember having noticed a costume anything like that
+described by me.
+
+"Are there any secret passages to any of the rooms and galleries which
+are the scene of tonight's festivities?" I asked a doorkeeper. He looked
+at me in surprise, and answered:
+
+"All ways of communication were opened today because of the crowd of
+guests, but for safety's sake guarded and watched more carefully than
+usual. Only the tapestried corridor running the length of the great
+colonnade to the royal apartments was left unguarded, since in that
+place there is no possibility of improper intrusion."
+
+A new idea flashed across me. The spot on which I had first set eyes on
+my nun was at the entrance to that corridor. Might not a member of the
+royal family have elected to make me, as a novice in this foreign court
+society, the subject of a merry jest? No doubt the nun was a man in
+disguise, and the young princes and dukes were probably capable of
+pouncing on the victim and dancing him to death.
+
+My confusion was perhaps very diverting, and the secrecy of the few
+spectators of the joke, who were, of course, initiated, was quite
+praiseworthy.
+
+They asserted not having seen a nun at all, and laughed at me for having
+rushed round the room alone, like a lunatic, Obviously there was no
+further room for doubt, this explanation and no other was valid. Why had
+I not thought of this before!
+
+So I joined in the hilarity of the others and made the best of my
+discomfiture. In any case, the manner in which my partner had dismissed
+me betrayed a pair of powerful masculine fists! My shoulders, on which
+she had come down so vigorously ached as if they were broken, and I was
+still unable to conquer entirely a peculiar sensation of uneasiness.
+But while I was pursuing my investigations the clock struck twelve,
+the company unmasked, and gaily flocked toward the Supper rooms. I
+felt particularly entitled to refreshments, and in the course of my
+indulgence in the good things of my selection, my faintness--which was
+more astonishing to my robust, muscular young self than any carnival
+joke in the world could have been--passed off completely. I was as happy
+and lively as before, and enjoyed the remainder of the ball as much as
+I had the beginning. I tried to dismiss the episode from my mind. For a
+few days I felt a dull pain in my shoulders, which annoyed me at night
+also, and disturbed my sleep. The image of the nun haunted me, and the
+sombre, penetrating eyes were present to me in my very dreams. This
+vexed me, and I mentally abused the royal gentleman in every key who had
+pushed his joke rather too far.
+
+A week passed, and the court chamberlain issued invitations for the
+third masked ball at the palace. I purchased a sailor's dress, and on
+the evening of the ball tripped up the marble stairs in the best of
+spirits. It had in the meanwhile occurred to me that I had perhaps
+imbibed too much, and that the prince in nun's clothing had perhaps
+observed my condition, and made me his victim for that reason. But I
+rejected that proposition. In the first place, I had not taken much to
+drink; certainly two or three glasses of champagne and lemonade were
+not worth mentioning when I remembered what quantities of alcohol I had
+frequently absorbed in my university days in Germany. I was a brave boon
+companion, and capable of consuming a great deal. So how should a few
+paltry little glasses make me so unsteady on my feet as to collapse
+in dancing a fast gallop? Absurd! I was sure enough of myself, and
+sufficiently well brought up in social customs, to know how much one
+may drink at a court ball. No--I was convinced that I had not been
+intoxicated, but on this occasion I resolved to exercise special
+caution, and to be strictly temperate, in the event of the disguised
+perpetrator of pranks again attempting to make the German stranger the
+butt of his impudence. This time he should meet his match; I would keep
+my head clear and my feet steady enough to venture a dance with him. The
+constantly suspicious attitude of my mind, to be sure, interfered with
+my pleasure very considerably. I was in a too observant mood to float on
+the topmost wave of enjoyment, and besides an extraordinary disquietude
+had seized upon me, a contraction about the heart that was quite new to
+me, such as sensitive people undergo before a storm or in anticipation
+of momentous changes of fortune. I wandered about restlessly. Numerous
+though the merry masks that flitted around me, that nun's indescribable
+black eyes did not appear, and no effort was made to involve me again as
+the hero of another frolic. Time was dragging heavily. I glanced at my
+watch, and wished the supper hour might be near. The finger only pointed
+to half past eleven, so that I must still possess my soul in patience
+for half an hour. It was a lovely, mild, moonlight night; the doors to
+the tapestried passage and the colonnade had been thrown open, and I
+concluded to take a breath of the fragrant air and a rapid view of the
+illuminated town in its festive brilliancy of a carnival night.
+
+A female pierrot dances past me with Don Juan, and, with a laugh,
+throws a handful of confetti in my face. I retaliate--a few phrases are
+exchanged--I look after her for a moment--and then turn to the entrance
+of the corridor, to get out into the colonnade.
+
+I am rooted to the ground!
+
+Standing aside in a corner, on the very same spot as before, is my nun,
+staring at me with the same unfathomable eyes as a week ago!
+
+Where had she come from?
+
+Out of the ground? Or had she slipped in through the door during my
+banter with the pierrot?
+
+She had come through the door, of course.
+
+I am utterly amazed. The same costume. The same joke. How clumsy of the
+prince to repeat himself, I am inclined to ignore the impertinent young
+gentleman, and pass him proudly by--yet--strange--again I am attracted
+irresistibly, as by a supernatural power, held by those black orbs. I
+am quite certain of my wits this time: the dress is really the forbidden
+costume of a nun, and, so far as I can judge, exact in every particular.
+On her breast hangs a large cross, which is especially conspicuous. It
+is of dull gold, with emeralds and pearls inlaid, of peculiar shape,
+and certainly antique. The pious nun seems to have regaled herself with
+excessive haste at some sideboard, since the white collar and the front
+of the gray bodice show oblong dark stains, as though some beverage had
+been spilt.
+
+"Well, fair mask," finally remark in a mocking tone, although my heart
+is beating furiously, "you have been waiting for me here, I presume?"
+
+She nods slowly and solemnly.
+
+"Do you imagine, by chance, that I wish to dance another hurricane with
+you?"
+
+Again she assents, but more emphatically.
+
+"Then," say I, ironically, "see where you can find a new blockhead, my
+muscular fairy! My shoulders are not well yet!"
+
+Her arms move--hands there are none visible in the long, roomy
+sleeves--they are stretched out to me as if in mute appeal. A cold
+shiver runs down my back, I know not why.
+
+"If I dance with you again," I angrily exclaim, "you will not fare quite
+so well as last time! I am firmer on my feet to-night than I was last
+week!"
+
+She presses her arms to her breast, something like a tremor agitates the
+gray shape, and her head is slightly raised. Her position and demeanor,
+though she utters not a word, denote intense longing.
+
+The blood rushes to my head--I must go a step nearer to her--I must!
+
+"If I dance with you, it will be only on one condition!"
+
+With a profound sigh her bosom heaves, her arms fall to her side, her
+body is humbly bent forward as if in complete surrender, and as if to
+say: Ask what you will!
+
+"My condition is that you afterward reveal yourself."
+
+She nods stiffly, like a marionette.
+
+"Swear to it!"
+
+She raises her arm for the oath, but the gray folds still conceal her
+hand.
+
+"Woe betide you if you deceive me!"
+
+She shakes her head, and repeats the passionate gesture of entreaty. Her
+slender form trembles with feverish impatience, and the wonderful eyes
+seem to plead, in extreme urgency: Come quickly!
+
+I put out my arms--
+
+Once more does the terrible woman rush at me, once more am I held in
+that mad embrace, once more--on the wings of the wind--do we dash round
+the room! And once more are all my senses lost in the fiendish whirl!
+
+I attempt to struggle, would pit the abounding strength of my youth
+against the woman and subdue her. In vain! I can think, I can act, no
+longer. My whole being is in a swoon, and I am conscious of nothing but
+two icy lips pressed upon mine with a vehemence calculated to draw my
+very life out of me.
+
+A shudder seizes me, and the fear of death, and then--again that blow on
+my shoulders--
+
+I feel as if a pair of iron clamps had been taken off me and I had been
+freed, and I sink down upon a sofa.
+
+A laughing, jeering crowd surrounds me, shouting:
+
+"The sailor is crazy! He has gone out of his mind!"
+
+Have I again been dancing alone in public?
+
+I jump up in a rage, and exclaim, as I toss back my dishevelled hair
+from my burning brow:
+
+"Abominable trickery! Let me pass! Let me get my hands on her, and
+unmask her!"
+
+Something rings on the floor. It has fallen from my hand, hitherto
+clenched and just now opened. Triumphantly I snatch it up, exulting:
+
+"Her cross! Ha! that shall be my clue!"
+
+On this occasion, too, no trace of the mysterious nun was to be found.
+It was at first superciliously assumed, as before, that I must be drunk
+or insane, but my serious mood and energetic investigations soon altered
+that notion. I might myself have doubted my mental soundness had it not
+been for the cross in my hand, which I at once recognized as being that
+worn by the nun, and had not a lackey finally confessed to having beheld
+the strange figure. He was coming from the colonnade with a tray of
+refreshments when he saw me in conversation with her. The mask had
+something familiar about her, he said, but he could not remember where
+he had seen her before. He had been a servant in the palace for forty
+years.
+
+Nobody thought of a spectre; on the other hand extravagant speculations
+became rife of a conspirator being at work. It was rumored the king had
+originally intended to wear a sailor costume.
+
+Of course, it was him the uncanny visitor had designs upon. In view of
+the fact that the political horizon was very dark and clouded at that
+time, the conjecture was perhaps not altogether phantastical, and for
+this reason the report quickly reached the ears of the king and the
+royal family. I was promptly summoned before His Majesty, and it gave
+me a sort of revengeful pleasure to relate the incident to that august
+person. For I was still fully persuaded that some young member of his
+family had played this obnoxious trick upon me.
+
+The king nodded thoughtfully upon my frank declaration that, according
+to my researches, the enigmatical female could only have come from the
+royal apartments.
+
+Said his Majesty:
+
+"May I ask you, my dear Baron, to show me the cross you found?"
+
+I put it into his hand.
+
+For a moment the king stared upon it speechless. Then he turned it
+over, and ejaculated, roughly almost under the emotion of his violent
+surprise:
+
+"Great God--why--it is--!"
+
+And he pointed to the small, delicately engraved initials, surmounted by
+a crown, in the middle of the cross. Very pale and with heaving breast
+he went on:
+
+"A nun, a gray nun, you say? What would the object of such a joke be?
+and how--how should this cross come back among the living? Baron, come
+with me, I must request your confidence and secrecy!"
+
+We passed through several rooms, and then arrived at a narrow gallery
+whose walls were hung with portraits of royal personages. The king came
+abruptly to a halt, and without himself looking up indicated a certain
+picture:
+
+"Observe that painting! Do you see the same Cross there that you have in
+your hand?"
+
+Involuntarily I uttered the loud cry:
+
+"Why, that is she! Holy Heavens! It is my nun!"
+
+"The cross--compare the cross!" urged the king, his slender, white hand
+trembling with agitation.
+
+A frosty current ran through my veins as I compared the pictured cross
+with that in my companion's hand. It was the same--not a doubt of
+it--and the eyes, too, were the same, as also the dress and the whole
+figure were unmistakably those of the gray nun I had danced with. Yet
+in those conspicuously large, deep black eyes lay not an expression of
+peacefulness and mild resignation, but a world of passionate feeling.
+Having assured the king of the identity of the cross, and he having
+informed me that it was an ancient heirloom of which no duplicate
+existed, he bade me accompany him further.
+
+Arrived in the antechamber to his apartments, the king gave an order to
+one of the attendants on duty there. He walked up and down the room for
+a few moments in visible excitement, and then, stopping before me, and
+looking at me searchingly, he asked:
+
+"Have you ever, in the course of your life, met with a manifestation of
+the supernatural?"
+
+I was so bewildered and nervous that I scarcely could remember enough
+French to reply:
+
+"May it please your Majesty, I have not."
+
+"Do you believe in the possibility of the dead returning?"
+
+"Not in the sense of their coming as apparitions. I always was, still
+am, a skeptic on the point of ghost stories in general, nevertheless I
+am a Christian, and I believe and know that we continue to live after
+death."
+
+The king stared at me mechanically:
+
+"You are a Protestant, and you say you are a skeptic. Curious--only you
+saw the apparition--it was revealed to no one else?"
+
+"Then your Majesty is of the opinion that this is actually a case of a
+spectral apparition?"
+
+"Certainly. It seems much more plausible than open theft. This very
+cross I myself--"
+
+He interrupted his sentence as he turned to the door, through which,
+with profound obeisances, entered two ladies in waiting--probably the
+queen's. His Majesty addressed one of them in French, no doubt to enable
+me to participate in the conversation:
+
+"You were present, Madame M., when Princess A. was laid in her coffin
+seventeen years ago?"
+
+A low curtsey was the affirmative reply.
+
+"And you also, Madame U.?"
+
+"I had the honor, your Majesty, of rendering her royal highness the last
+earthly services."
+
+"You remember perfectly what dress the deceased was buried in?"
+
+"Quite well, your Majesty. It was the regular dress of the Order of Gray
+Sisters, of which her royal highness was a member."
+
+"Do you recollect whether she took any ornaments to her last resting
+place?"
+
+"Excepting the golden cross which your Majesty hung round her neck
+on the day she took the vow, no jewelry was put on the princess. The
+duchess even drew the little sapphire ring from her royal highness'
+finger, to keep it as a remembrance and wear it herself."
+
+"You are absolutely certain that the cross went into the coffin? You
+could swear to it?"
+
+"I could do so with fullest conviction, your Majesty."
+
+"Would you recognize the cross?"
+
+"To be sure I should."
+
+"Is this it?"
+
+"Good Heavens--it is! On the back there ought to be the initials of her
+royal highness!"
+
+"Here they are," said the king, reversing the cross. The old woman
+shrank back appalled.
+
+"Then, your Majesty, the vault has been broken into!"
+
+"Possibly it has. The matter shall be investigated. I am much obliged to
+you, ladies, and earnestly request you will both preserve unconditional
+silence as to our present interview."
+
+"Well," said the king to me, after the ladies in waiting had withdrawn,
+"how do you account for this cross being here in my hand, considering
+it was put into the coffin? You think the vault may have been pillaged?
+That, I believe, is out of the question. The object of a carnival freak,
+which could have been perpetrated just as easily in any other dress, is
+far too slight to make such a horrible offense as the violation of the
+dead worth while! But I intend to have the vault examined, and beg, my
+dear baron, that you will attend. For the present, good night."
+
+I spent a dreadful night, torturing my sleepless brain for a solution
+of the riddle, and being forever haunted by the nun's dark eyes. It was
+late when I woke.
+
+Some hours after, the coffin was opened in the presence of the king,
+whose surmise proved correct. The bolts on the coffin were intact. The
+gold chain was there, safe round the princess' neck. But the cross was
+gone. There was not the remotest sign of violence.
+
+How I got out of that vault, I do not know. I remember feeling faint,
+and being supported by two court officials. I am unaware of what
+happened next. It was the only instance in my life in which my system
+had so entirely given way. A serious illness was apprehended, but
+my strong constitution won the day. For a long time my mind was in a
+precarious state.
+
+When I had recovered, the king sent for me.
+
+"Are you still a skeptic?" he asked in a grave voice.
+
+"No, your Majesty, I am convinced now."
+
+Whereupon the king himself deigned to communicate to me the particulars
+relating to the golden cross.
+
+Princess A. was a daughter of one of his cousins, and she was their
+fifth child. The duchess, a very pious woman, made a vow before the
+birth of her sixth child, that if it was a boy, her youngest daughter
+should be dedicated to the service of the church and take the veil. A
+son was born, and Princess A. henceforth was educated for the profession
+of a nun in becoming retirement and seclusion. Unfortunately, however,
+the natural traits of the girl seemed to be entirely in opposition to
+that reverend calling. An irrepressible vivacity of spirit, an intense
+coveting of worldly joys and pleasures characterized her, and the more
+she was separated from the world the more ardent grew her desire to live
+in it. Heartrending scenes of resistance and tears were enacted, and
+the reigning sovereign felt so much pity for the spirited young creature
+that he attempted to save her from her fate of being immured in convent
+walls by offering to apply to the pope for a dispensation releasing the
+mother from her promise. But the duchess desperately combated this idea.
+Her wild laments, that to break her vow would entail her forfeiture of
+eternal salvation, her protestations, her tears, her entreaties, at last
+prevailed upon the princess to join the Order of the Gray Sisters. For a
+short space all seemed to go well. The fervid heart of the royal nun was
+apparently beating placidly, in the quiet claustral surroundings. But
+during the winter the duchess fell sick, and the young bride of the
+church was called to her bedside. Princess A. had remained with her
+mother for several weeks, and about that time the carnival season began.
+Masked balls were given in the palace, and while the horns and violins
+were sounding in the ballroom Princess A. lay on her knees in the throes
+of dreadful despair, tearing her hair in furious longing for that lost
+paradise. She at last succeeded in bribing a chambermaid to secretly
+procure her a fancy dress. If it was to cost her immortal soul, once
+she would dance and be young and happy! The plot was betrayed, and the
+angriest reproaches were poured out by her parents upon the perjured,
+rebellious nun! Princess A. was locked up, and was to be removed to the
+convent the next day. However, as the festivities in the palace were
+reaching their height that night, the unhappy young nun lay expiring in
+her room. She had taken poison, although the report was spread in the
+capital that failure of the heart had caused her death. How she came
+into possession of the poison no one ever discovered. While she was
+writhing in terrible agony her half-crazed mother put a cup of milk to
+her lips as an antidote. She dashed it passionately aside and the spilt
+milk left stains on her dress.
+
+How hard it was to die! Again and again she tore her black hair. Again
+and again she uttered the bitterest imprecations and the fiercest cries
+for a taste of youth and happiness. At length she stood up, straining
+her ears for the music in the ballroom.
+
+And then she screamed aloud:
+
+"Oh, I must dance once! I must kiss once! Let me be happy once! I cannot
+die before I dance! Let me go--let me dance--let me--"
+
+She drew herself up to her full height, her eyes glowed like live coals,
+she took a few steps towards the door--
+
+"I must dance--let me dance!" she gasped, and fell stiffly forward on
+the floor--dead.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Gray Nun, by Nataly Von Eschstruth
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