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diff --git a/23220-0.txt b/23220-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a7d9d8b --- /dev/null +++ b/23220-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,991 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Gray Nun, by Nataly Von Eschstruth + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Gray Nun + +Author: Nataly Von Eschstruth + +Translator: Lionel Strachey + +Release Date: October 27, 2007 [EBook #23220] +Last Updated: November 5, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GRAY NUN *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + + +THE GRAY NUN + +By Nataly Von Eschstruth + +Translated from the German by Lionel Strachey + + +When I was a young man I once made a foreign journey, betaking myself to +the royal court of X. on affairs of state. In those days politics would +take strange turns, not of unmixed delight, and so it happened that my +mission was prolonged well into the winter, and kept me at X. until the +carnival season. But at this I did not repine, for to pass a winter in +a beautiful climate and amid the fascinating society of a court seemed a +welcome change to my enthusiastic, pleasure-loving young soul. + +The reigning sovereign had a predilection for masked balls,--a +traditionally favorite amusement at the palace, I was told--and +accordingly several fancy dress festivities were enacted on the royal +premises during the carnival. The first I was unable to participate in +because of an inflamed eye, and therefore awaited the second with all +the keener anticipation. + +In the becoming costume of a Prussian officer in the army of Frederick +the Great, and with the agreeable sensation of being specially well +disguised beneath my mask and safe from recognition, I mingled in the +gay throng of the dancers and enjoyed to the full the charm of the +brilliant and delicious event. An exquisitely graceful little water-nix +had conquered my heart. The champagne was bubbling in my blood, and +in wild spirits I was pursuing the fleeing Undine into an adjacent +apartment. + +Suddenly I stopped as though spellbound, and found myself staring into +a pair of dark eyes, black as night, which were rigidly fixed upon me. +Standing aloof, in a corner of the room, I saw a nun. Her long gray +garment reached to the ground, and lay about her very feet in folds like +a train. Her arms hung straight down, the hands being concealed in the +loose sleeves. White linen bands covered her head and chin, and rendered +even her mouth invisible, while her forehead and the upper part of her +face were protected by a black velvet mask. And the blackness of those +eyes that penetrated me was so intense that scarcely were any whites +discernible. + +An indescribable emotion ran over me as I stood under the ban of an +evil power, as it were, returning the look of that strange figure. I had +forgotten Undine. Drawn by some invisible force, I approached the nun +with mechanical footstep. + +“Why, fair mask,” I accosted her with a bold laugh, “are you alone? +Surely you know that for dancing and love two are needed!” + +Briefly, like a Chinese idol, she nodded her head in assent; a thrill +seemed to pass over her wonderfully slender shape; yet she did not +budge. + +I became more venturesome from a sudden feeling as of fire rushing +through my veins. + +“You may be vowed to seclusion, beautiful bride of Heaven, but to-day +the convent walls have released you, to-day you are of the world and the +flesh, to-day you are mine!” + +Thus I cried aloud, forgetting in my excitement that I was in a country +where my mother tongue was only spoken and understood at the German +legation. + +In a moment it occurred to me: Did the mask know German? + +To my astonishment, she gave an immediate sign of intelligence by +gliding, silently as a shadow, another step in my direction, and her +biasing eyes appeared to kindle with merriment. Had she a veil over her +eyes? It almost looked so and this extraordinary measure of precaution +challenged me the more strongly to overcome her reluctance to being +known. + +“Do you understand me?” I asked. + +She nodded in the same brief, jerky manner as before. + +“Do you know me?” + +Similarly she answered by negative motions of the head. I stepped up +close to her with the question: + +“But will you not know me and love me? Come into my arms, and let us +dance!” + +Then something happened that at the moment I found surprising and +extremely startling, yet which I took for a mere carnival freak, +while later on I could scarce review the occurrence with any degree of +clearness. + +The nun threw her arms about me abruptly and almost desperately, and +whirled me into a frenzied dance. I felt no body between my arms, and +did not hear the rustle of her dress; I only saw those enigmatic +dark eyes, which glowed near, very near, my own. And in mad career, +regardless of the musical time or of the tune played, my curious partner +tore around the room with me faster and faster, and with ever increasing +fury. Her arms gripped me tighter and tighter and I was threatened +with complete loss of breath in the wild race. Of a sudden I received a +violent blow, resembling an electric shock, from each of her hands on +my shoulders, felt myself all at once liberated, and staggered faint +against a pyramid of plants. Boisterous laughter sounded on my ear; some +other masks had surrounded and seized me, exclaiming: + +“Look at the fine gentleman! He is out of his mind, dancing about the +room like a madman, quite alone!” + +I opened my eyes and looked all around. What had become of my partner? + +Not a sign of her was to be seen, although this other room was likewise +very large, just then not well filled with people. + +“Have I been dancing alone?” I gasped, tearing the mask off my burning +face. + +“Quite alone! Did you imagine it was with your sweetheart?” was the +mocking, noisy reply. + +I was deeply annoyed. “Nonsense!” I cried. “You are all in the +conspiracy! Where has the nun gone? It was no lady at all, it was a man +in disguise!” + +They laughed still more, and some whispered behind fans that I must be +drunk. + +Strange sensations invaded me. Had a joke been played at my expense? Had +a member of the German legation dressed in female clothes, and in the +height of his whimsical caprice danced with me in that insane fashion? +Were the guests in the secret, and were they amusing themselves--as the +freedom of the carnival permitted--with teasing a foreigner? Yet surely +the mysterious nun must be discoverable. My knees were trembling from a +weakness I was unable to account for, but I collected myself, and +while various thoughts coursed through my brain for a solution of +this carnival prank, I hastened with feverish speed through rooms and +galleries in quest of the nun. But in vain. I espied neither herself, +nor met anyone who had seen her. The lackeys and doorkeepers assured me +in perfect good faith that they had seen no nun of any sort. + +“The costume is one of which His Majesty does not approve,” I was +informed in the cloak-room. “It is considered irreverent to appear at +balls here in the spiritual garb of a nun or a monk, and therefore it +is not done. It would certainly have been observed by us had any lady or +gentleman transgressed against the prevailing usage.” + +“Then perhaps I may have mistaken for a nun some other mask, who +intended in her gray suit to represent Twilight or Care,” I excused +myself hesitatingly, though I had an accurate eye for dresses, and +could have registered a solemn oath that the mysterious unknown was even +wearing especially authentic claustral attire. No one, however, could +by any effort remember having noticed a costume anything like that +described by me. + +“Are there any secret passages to any of the rooms and galleries which +are the scene of tonight’s festivities?” I asked a doorkeeper. He looked +at me in surprise, and answered: + +“All ways of communication were opened today because of the crowd of +guests, but for safety’s sake guarded and watched more carefully than +usual. Only the tapestried corridor running the length of the great +colonnade to the royal apartments was left unguarded, since in that +place there is no possibility of improper intrusion.” + +A new idea flashed across me. The spot on which I had first set eyes on +my nun was at the entrance to that corridor. Might not a member of the +royal family have elected to make me, as a novice in this foreign court +society, the subject of a merry jest? No doubt the nun was a man in +disguise, and the young princes and dukes were probably capable of +pouncing on the victim and dancing him to death. + +My confusion was perhaps very diverting, and the secrecy of the few +spectators of the joke, who were, of course, initiated, was quite +praiseworthy. + +They asserted not having seen a nun at all, and laughed at me for having +rushed round the room alone, like a lunatic, Obviously there was no +further room for doubt, this explanation and no other was valid. Why had +I not thought of this before! + +So I joined in the hilarity of the others and made the best of my +discomfiture. In any case, the manner in which my partner had dismissed +me betrayed a pair of powerful masculine fists! My shoulders, on which +she had come down so vigorously ached as if they were broken, and I was +still unable to conquer entirely a peculiar sensation of uneasiness. +But while I was pursuing my investigations the clock struck twelve, +the company unmasked, and gaily flocked toward the Supper rooms. I +felt particularly entitled to refreshments, and in the course of my +indulgence in the good things of my selection, my faintness--which was +more astonishing to my robust, muscular young self than any carnival +joke in the world could have been--passed off completely. I was as happy +and lively as before, and enjoyed the remainder of the ball as much as +I had the beginning. I tried to dismiss the episode from my mind. For a +few days I felt a dull pain in my shoulders, which annoyed me at night +also, and disturbed my sleep. The image of the nun haunted me, and the +sombre, penetrating eyes were present to me in my very dreams. This +vexed me, and I mentally abused the royal gentleman in every key who had +pushed his joke rather too far. + +A week passed, and the court chamberlain issued invitations for the +third masked ball at the palace. I purchased a sailor’s dress, and on +the evening of the ball tripped up the marble stairs in the best of +spirits. It had in the meanwhile occurred to me that I had perhaps +imbibed too much, and that the prince in nun’s clothing had perhaps +observed my condition, and made me his victim for that reason. But I +rejected that proposition. In the first place, I had not taken much to +drink; certainly two or three glasses of champagne and lemonade were +not worth mentioning when I remembered what quantities of alcohol I had +frequently absorbed in my university days in Germany. I was a brave boon +companion, and capable of consuming a great deal. So how should a few +paltry little glasses make me so unsteady on my feet as to collapse +in dancing a fast gallop? Absurd! I was sure enough of myself, and +sufficiently well brought up in social customs, to know how much one +may drink at a court ball. No--I was convinced that I had not been +intoxicated, but on this occasion I resolved to exercise special +caution, and to be strictly temperate, in the event of the disguised +perpetrator of pranks again attempting to make the German stranger the +butt of his impudence. This time he should meet his match; I would keep +my head clear and my feet steady enough to venture a dance with him. The +constantly suspicious attitude of my mind, to be sure, interfered with +my pleasure very considerably. I was in a too observant mood to float on +the topmost wave of enjoyment, and besides an extraordinary disquietude +had seized upon me, a contraction about the heart that was quite new to +me, such as sensitive people undergo before a storm or in anticipation +of momentous changes of fortune. I wandered about restlessly. Numerous +though the merry masks that flitted around me, that nun’s indescribable +black eyes did not appear, and no effort was made to involve me again as +the hero of another frolic. Time was dragging heavily. I glanced at my +watch, and wished the supper hour might be near. The finger only pointed +to half past eleven, so that I must still possess my soul in patience +for half an hour. It was a lovely, mild, moonlight night; the doors to +the tapestried passage and the colonnade had been thrown open, and I +concluded to take a breath of the fragrant air and a rapid view of the +illuminated town in its festive brilliancy of a carnival night. + +A female pierrot dances past me with Don Juan, and, with a laugh, +throws a handful of confetti in my face. I retaliate--a few phrases are +exchanged--I look after her for a moment--and then turn to the entrance +of the corridor, to get out into the colonnade. + +I am rooted to the ground! + +Standing aside in a corner, on the very same spot as before, is my nun, +staring at me with the same unfathomable eyes as a week ago! + +Where had she come from? + +Out of the ground? Or had she slipped in through the door during my +banter with the pierrot? + +She had come through the door, of course. + +I am utterly amazed. The same costume. The same joke. How clumsy of the +prince to repeat himself, I am inclined to ignore the impertinent young +gentleman, and pass him proudly by--yet--strange--again I am attracted +irresistibly, as by a supernatural power, held by those black orbs. I +am quite certain of my wits this time: the dress is really the forbidden +costume of a nun, and, so far as I can judge, exact in every particular. +On her breast hangs a large cross, which is especially conspicuous. It +is of dull gold, with emeralds and pearls inlaid, of peculiar shape, +and certainly antique. The pious nun seems to have regaled herself with +excessive haste at some sideboard, since the white collar and the front +of the gray bodice show oblong dark stains, as though some beverage had +been spilt. + +“Well, fair mask,” finally remark in a mocking tone, although my heart +is beating furiously, “you have been waiting for me here, I presume?” + +She nods slowly and solemnly. + +“Do you imagine, by chance, that I wish to dance another hurricane with +you?” + +Again she assents, but more emphatically. + +“Then,” say I, ironically, “see where you can find a new blockhead, my +muscular fairy! My shoulders are not well yet!” + +Her arms move--hands there are none visible in the long, roomy +sleeves--they are stretched out to me as if in mute appeal. A cold +shiver runs down my back, I know not why. + +“If I dance with you again,” I angrily exclaim, “you will not fare quite +so well as last time! I am firmer on my feet to-night than I was last +week!” + +She presses her arms to her breast, something like a tremor agitates the +gray shape, and her head is slightly raised. Her position and demeanor, +though she utters not a word, denote intense longing. + +The blood rushes to my head--I must go a step nearer to her--I must! + +“If I dance with you, it will be only on one condition!” + +With a profound sigh her bosom heaves, her arms fall to her side, her +body is humbly bent forward as if in complete surrender, and as if to +say: Ask what you will! + +“My condition is that you afterward reveal yourself.” + +She nods stiffly, like a marionette. + +“Swear to it!” + +She raises her arm for the oath, but the gray folds still conceal her +hand. + +“Woe betide you if you deceive me!” + +She shakes her head, and repeats the passionate gesture of entreaty. Her +slender form trembles with feverish impatience, and the wonderful eyes +seem to plead, in extreme urgency: Come quickly! + +I put out my arms-- + +Once more does the terrible woman rush at me, once more am I held in +that mad embrace, once more--on the wings of the wind--do we dash round +the room! And once more are all my senses lost in the fiendish whirl! + +I attempt to struggle, would pit the abounding strength of my youth +against the woman and subdue her. In vain! I can think, I can act, no +longer. My whole being is in a swoon, and I am conscious of nothing but +two icy lips pressed upon mine with a vehemence calculated to draw my +very life out of me. + +A shudder seizes me, and the fear of death, and then--again that blow on +my shoulders-- + +I feel as if a pair of iron clamps had been taken off me and I had been +freed, and I sink down upon a sofa. + +A laughing, jeering crowd surrounds me, shouting: + +“The sailor is crazy! He has gone out of his mind!” + +Have I again been dancing alone in public? + +I jump up in a rage, and exclaim, as I toss back my dishevelled hair +from my burning brow: + +“Abominable trickery! Let me pass! Let me get my hands on her, and +unmask her!” + +Something rings on the floor. It has fallen from my hand, hitherto +clenched and just now opened. Triumphantly I snatch it up, exulting: + +“Her cross! Ha! that shall be my clue!” + +On this occasion, too, no trace of the mysterious nun was to be found. +It was at first superciliously assumed, as before, that I must be drunk +or insane, but my serious mood and energetic investigations soon altered +that notion. I might myself have doubted my mental soundness had it not +been for the cross in my hand, which I at once recognized as being that +worn by the nun, and had not a lackey finally confessed to having beheld +the strange figure. He was coming from the colonnade with a tray of +refreshments when he saw me in conversation with her. The mask had +something familiar about her, he said, but he could not remember where +he had seen her before. He had been a servant in the palace for forty +years. + +Nobody thought of a spectre; on the other hand extravagant speculations +became rife of a conspirator being at work. It was rumored the king had +originally intended to wear a sailor costume. + +Of course, it was him the uncanny visitor had designs upon. In view of +the fact that the political horizon was very dark and clouded at that +time, the conjecture was perhaps not altogether phantastical, and for +this reason the report quickly reached the ears of the king and the +royal family. I was promptly summoned before His Majesty, and it gave +me a sort of revengeful pleasure to relate the incident to that august +person. For I was still fully persuaded that some young member of his +family had played this obnoxious trick upon me. + +The king nodded thoughtfully upon my frank declaration that, according +to my researches, the enigmatical female could only have come from the +royal apartments. + +Said his Majesty: + +“May I ask you, my dear Baron, to show me the cross you found?” + +I put it into his hand. + +For a moment the king stared upon it speechless. Then he turned it +over, and ejaculated, roughly almost under the emotion of his violent +surprise: + +“Great God--why--it is--!” + +And he pointed to the small, delicately engraved initials, surmounted by +a crown, in the middle of the cross. Very pale and with heaving breast +he went on: + +“A nun, a gray nun, you say? What would the object of such a joke be? +and how--how should this cross come back among the living? Baron, come +with me, I must request your confidence and secrecy!” + +We passed through several rooms, and then arrived at a narrow gallery +whose walls were hung with portraits of royal personages. The king came +abruptly to a halt, and without himself looking up indicated a certain +picture: + +“Observe that painting! Do you see the same Cross there that you have in +your hand?” + +Involuntarily I uttered the loud cry: + +“Why, that is she! Holy Heavens! It is my nun!” + +“The cross--compare the cross!” urged the king, his slender, white hand +trembling with agitation. + +A frosty current ran through my veins as I compared the pictured cross +with that in my companion’s hand. It was the same--not a doubt of +it--and the eyes, too, were the same, as also the dress and the whole +figure were unmistakably those of the gray nun I had danced with. Yet +in those conspicuously large, deep black eyes lay not an expression of +peacefulness and mild resignation, but a world of passionate feeling. +Having assured the king of the identity of the cross, and he having +informed me that it was an ancient heirloom of which no duplicate +existed, he bade me accompany him further. + +Arrived in the antechamber to his apartments, the king gave an order to +one of the attendants on duty there. He walked up and down the room for +a few moments in visible excitement, and then, stopping before me, and +looking at me searchingly, he asked: + +“Have you ever, in the course of your life, met with a manifestation of +the supernatural?” + +I was so bewildered and nervous that I scarcely could remember enough +French to reply: + +“May it please your Majesty, I have not.” + +“Do you believe in the possibility of the dead returning?” + +“Not in the sense of their coming as apparitions. I always was, still +am, a skeptic on the point of ghost stories in general, nevertheless I +am a Christian, and I believe and know that we continue to live after +death.” + +The king stared at me mechanically: + +“You are a Protestant, and you say you are a skeptic. Curious--only you +saw the apparition--it was revealed to no one else?” + +“Then your Majesty is of the opinion that this is actually a case of a +spectral apparition?” + +“Certainly. It seems much more plausible than open theft. This very +cross I myself--” + +He interrupted his sentence as he turned to the door, through which, +with profound obeisances, entered two ladies in waiting--probably the +queen’s. His Majesty addressed one of them in French, no doubt to enable +me to participate in the conversation: + +“You were present, Madame M., when Princess A. was laid in her coffin +seventeen years ago?” + +A low curtsey was the affirmative reply. + +“And you also, Madame U.?” + +“I had the honor, your Majesty, of rendering her royal highness the last +earthly services.” + +“You remember perfectly what dress the deceased was buried in?” + +“Quite well, your Majesty. It was the regular dress of the Order of Gray +Sisters, of which her royal highness was a member.” + +“Do you recollect whether she took any ornaments to her last resting +place?” + +“Excepting the golden cross which your Majesty hung round her neck +on the day she took the vow, no jewelry was put on the princess. The +duchess even drew the little sapphire ring from her royal highness’ +finger, to keep it as a remembrance and wear it herself.” + +“You are absolutely certain that the cross went into the coffin? You +could swear to it?” + +“I could do so with fullest conviction, your Majesty.” + +“Would you recognize the cross?” + +“To be sure I should.” + +“Is this it?” + +“Good Heavens--it is! On the back there ought to be the initials of her +royal highness!” + +“Here they are,” said the king, reversing the cross. The old woman +shrank back appalled. + +“Then, your Majesty, the vault has been broken into!” + +“Possibly it has. The matter shall be investigated. I am much obliged to +you, ladies, and earnestly request you will both preserve unconditional +silence as to our present interview.” + +“Well,” said the king to me, after the ladies in waiting had withdrawn, +“how do you account for this cross being here in my hand, considering +it was put into the coffin? You think the vault may have been pillaged? +That, I believe, is out of the question. The object of a carnival freak, +which could have been perpetrated just as easily in any other dress, is +far too slight to make such a horrible offense as the violation of the +dead worth while! But I intend to have the vault examined, and beg, my +dear baron, that you will attend. For the present, good night.” + +I spent a dreadful night, torturing my sleepless brain for a solution +of the riddle, and being forever haunted by the nun’s dark eyes. It was +late when I woke. + +Some hours after, the coffin was opened in the presence of the king, +whose surmise proved correct. The bolts on the coffin were intact. The +gold chain was there, safe round the princess’ neck. But the cross was +gone. There was not the remotest sign of violence. + +How I got out of that vault, I do not know. I remember feeling faint, +and being supported by two court officials. I am unaware of what +happened next. It was the only instance in my life in which my system +had so entirely given way. A serious illness was apprehended, but +my strong constitution won the day. For a long time my mind was in a +precarious state. + +When I had recovered, the king sent for me. + +“Are you still a skeptic?” he asked in a grave voice. + +“No, your Majesty, I am convinced now.” + +Whereupon the king himself deigned to communicate to me the particulars +relating to the golden cross. + +Princess A. was a daughter of one of his cousins, and she was their +fifth child. The duchess, a very pious woman, made a vow before the +birth of her sixth child, that if it was a boy, her youngest daughter +should be dedicated to the service of the church and take the veil. A +son was born, and Princess A. henceforth was educated for the profession +of a nun in becoming retirement and seclusion. Unfortunately, however, +the natural traits of the girl seemed to be entirely in opposition to +that reverend calling. An irrepressible vivacity of spirit, an intense +coveting of worldly joys and pleasures characterized her, and the more +she was separated from the world the more ardent grew her desire to live +in it. Heartrending scenes of resistance and tears were enacted, and +the reigning sovereign felt so much pity for the spirited young creature +that he attempted to save her from her fate of being immured in convent +walls by offering to apply to the pope for a dispensation releasing the +mother from her promise. But the duchess desperately combated this idea. +Her wild laments, that to break her vow would entail her forfeiture of +eternal salvation, her protestations, her tears, her entreaties, at last +prevailed upon the princess to join the Order of the Gray Sisters. For a +short space all seemed to go well. The fervid heart of the royal nun was +apparently beating placidly, in the quiet claustral surroundings. But +during the winter the duchess fell sick, and the young bride of the +church was called to her bedside. Princess A. had remained with her +mother for several weeks, and about that time the carnival season began. +Masked balls were given in the palace, and while the horns and violins +were sounding in the ballroom Princess A. lay on her knees in the throes +of dreadful despair, tearing her hair in furious longing for that lost +paradise. She at last succeeded in bribing a chambermaid to secretly +procure her a fancy dress. If it was to cost her immortal soul, once +she would dance and be young and happy! The plot was betrayed, and the +angriest reproaches were poured out by her parents upon the perjured, +rebellious nun! Princess A. was locked up, and was to be removed to the +convent the next day. However, as the festivities in the palace were +reaching their height that night, the unhappy young nun lay expiring in +her room. She had taken poison, although the report was spread in the +capital that failure of the heart had caused her death. How she came +into possession of the poison no one ever discovered. While she was +writhing in terrible agony her half-crazed mother put a cup of milk to +her lips as an antidote. She dashed it passionately aside and the spilt +milk left stains on her dress. + +How hard it was to die! Again and again she tore her black hair. Again +and again she uttered the bitterest imprecations and the fiercest cries +for a taste of youth and happiness. At length she stood up, straining +her ears for the music in the ballroom. + +And then she screamed aloud: + +“Oh, I must dance once! I must kiss once! Let me be happy once! I cannot +die before I dance! Let me go--let me dance--let me--” + +She drew herself up to her full height, her eyes glowed like live coals, +she took a few steps towards the door-- + +“I must dance--let me dance!” she gasped, and fell stiffly forward on +the floor--dead. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Gray Nun, by Nataly Von Eschstruth + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GRAY NUN *** + +***** This file should be named 23220-0.txt or 23220-0.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/2/2/23220/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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