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authorRoger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org>2025-10-15 02:04:00 -0700
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+<h2>
+<a href="#startoftext">Boys, by Anonymous</a>
+</h2>
+<pre>
+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Boys, by Anonymous
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Boys
+ their Work and Influence
+
+
+Author: Anonymous
+
+
+
+Release Date: October 28, 2007 [eBook #23230]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BOYS***
+</pre>
+<p><a name="startoftext"></a></p>
+<p>Transcribed from the Skeffington &amp; Son tenth edition by
+David Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org</p>
+<h1>BOYS:<br />
+THEIR WORK AND INFLUENCE.</h1>
+<p style="text-align: center"><i>Tenth Edition</i>.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">LONDON:<br />
+SKEFFINGTON &amp; SON, PICCADILLY, W.<br />
+<span class="smcap">publishers to h.m. the queen and to h.r.h.
+the prince of wales</span>.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center"><!-- page 2--><a
+name="page2"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 2</span><i>By the same
+Author</i>, 9<i>d.</i>, <i>elegant cloth</i>,<br />
+10<i>th</i> <i>Edition</i>.</p>
+<h2>GIRLS:<br />
+<span class="smcap">their work and influence</span>.</h2>
+<p>NEW BOOK by the same Author.&nbsp; 3rd Edition.&nbsp; Elegant
+cloth, price 1s. 6d., by post 1s. 8d.</p>
+<p>HE THAT SERVETH: Counsel and Help for Workers; being Short
+Readings, etc., specially, but not solely, adapted for Domestic
+and other Servants, etc., Including most of the <span
+class="smcap">Church Seasons</span>; on various <span
+class="smcap">Duties</span>, <span class="smcap">Faults</span>,
+<span class="smcap">Temptations</span>, etc.; <span
+class="smcap">Confirmation</span>, <span class="smcap">Holy
+Communion</span>, etc.&nbsp; The Publishers believe this little
+book will be most useful in meeting a very felt want.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 3--><a name="page3"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+3</span>INTRODUCTION</h2>
+<p>The following papers were written at the request of one who
+had read the somewhat similar papers addressed to girls.&nbsp;
+The object aimed at in both books has been to try and help Boys
+and Girls of the so-called working classes to recognize their
+duties to God and their neighbour, and to use on the side of
+right the powers and opportunities which God has given them.</p>
+<p>It seems to the author that advice given to the so-called
+lower orders, often partakes too much of patronage, and too
+little of the brotherhood, that should be a sign of
+Christians.&nbsp; &ldquo;Do as you are told and be
+thankful,&rdquo; is too much the tone of the advice, instead of
+explaining duties, pointing out opportunities, and recognizing
+them as fellow-labourers in the great work.</p>
+<p>In God&rsquo;s household everyone has his place assigned to
+him by the master, some to govern, and some to serve, but still
+all are fellow-servants of that one Master, and brethren in
+Christ.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 5--><a name="page5"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+5</span>BOYS.</h2>
+<p>What a curious fellow a boy is.&nbsp; I wonder if boys ever
+think about themselves.&nbsp; A young monkey is full of mischief,
+a young puppy is full of play, a young kitten is always ready for
+fun, but a boy seems to combine the qualities of all three, and
+to have a stock of his own to jumble up with them.&nbsp; A boy
+has so many sides, not only an outside and an inside; he is a
+many sided being.&nbsp; See him at one time and you would hardly
+suppose him to be the same creature that you had seen a little
+while before.&nbsp; Now he is a bright nice spoken lad, in a few
+moments he is a bullying tyrant, now he is courteously answering
+those who speak to him, now words come from his lips that shock
+the hearer.&nbsp; Now he would scorn to have his word doubted by
+a comrade, now he does not hesitate to lie to escape
+punishment.&nbsp; Now fearless, now a coward, now full of
+spirits, now in the depths of woe&mdash;sunshine or joy, wind and
+calm, silence and tumult, all seem to have their place, and to
+make up that incomprehensible and yet delightful animal a
+boy.</p>
+<p><!-- page 6--><a name="page6"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+6</span>Now boys, I want you to think of yourselves&mdash;not to
+think how good or how bad you are&mdash;what fine fellows you
+are, and what important persons, but what you are capable of
+becoming.&nbsp; You will not remain boys always&mdash;you are
+now, in the midst of all your oddities, forming your character,
+and shaping your future course, drawing out of the midst of all
+your contradictions the character that will make you honest
+God-fearing men, like in your degree to the perfect pattern of
+manhood which God has set before us in Christ&mdash;or you are
+letting yourselves be moulded into the selfish sensual being,
+which too often degrades the name of man.</p>
+<p>Thinking, I know, is not much in your line at present, but you
+will perhaps spare me a few minutes, and give me a little of your
+attention while I try to point out to you the way in which you
+may, if you will, turn your powers to account, and avoid the
+dangers which have been the shipwreck of many a lad&rsquo;s
+bright prospects.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 7--><a name="page7"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+7</span>HOME AND SCHOOL</h2>
+<p>I shall take it for granted that you care for your parents and
+home, or at any rate that you would like to have a comfortable
+home.&nbsp; Well, then, make it so yourself.&nbsp; You can do a
+great deal towards it.&nbsp; Honour and obedience is your first
+duty towards your parents.&nbsp; There is nothing manly in
+disobedience.&nbsp; Honour and obey, readily and
+cheerfully.&nbsp; Not simply obedient to father because he might
+thrash you; and disobedient to mother because she cannot compel
+you.&nbsp; No, the truest honour in a boy is when mother can
+thoroughly trust him&mdash;trust him to obey her because she is
+mother.</p>
+<p>Brothers and sisters are often a trouble.&nbsp; &ldquo;How
+those children do nag?&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;Never can leave those
+boys together.&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;He&rsquo;s sure to teaze her
+if I leave them alone.&rdquo;&nbsp; Don&rsquo;t be a bully either
+to your brothers or sisters.&nbsp; Don&rsquo;t be selfish and
+claim all you can for yourself.&nbsp; Share and share alike
+should be the rule, and gentleness towards the girls and little
+ones.</p>
+<p><!-- page 8--><a name="page8"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+8</span>School will help to take the nonsense out of you; you
+cannot have it all your own way there.&nbsp; Boys will be boys,
+is a very common expression, and it would be very funny indeed if
+boys did not turn out to be boys, but that is no reason that boys
+should be rude or cruel, and in fact &ldquo;little
+cubs.&rdquo;&nbsp; Quarrels there will be sometimes&mdash;very
+often for no real reason, sometimes for a good cause.&nbsp; If
+you have one fight it out then and there, and bear no malice
+afterwards.&nbsp; I would rather see a fair fight and have done
+with it, than keeping up a nasty quarrel, and trying to spite one
+another in little mean ways.&nbsp; There is too often a want of
+real honour amongst boys.&nbsp; Telling tales of one another
+seems to be the fashion, and the favourite way of paying off old
+scores.&nbsp; There are of course times when a boy must speak out
+against wrong, even at the risk of being counted a sneak, but, as
+a rule, boys who delight in telling tales, and who have not the
+sense of honour to stick by one another are a very poor lot.</p>
+<p>Do your school work thoroughly.&nbsp; Idleness is not only
+wrong but foolish.&nbsp; There is a time for work and a time for
+play.&nbsp; Learn as much as you can and learn thoroughly if you
+want to be of any <!-- page 9--><a name="page9"></a><span
+class="pagenum">p. 9</span>use in after life.&nbsp; A boy&rsquo;s
+religion is not a thing that shows very much on the surface, or
+that he is very likely to talk much about, but it must be in him
+if he is any worth.</p>
+<p>Boys and girls alike should learn from their mother to say
+their prayers night and morning, and when they become too old, or
+mother too busy for them to say them at her knee, they should
+never omit to say them by themselves.&nbsp; I heard the other day
+of a rough labouring man, who on his death bed sent for the
+priest of his parish.&nbsp; He said he had never been inside a
+Church since he had been a man.&nbsp; He had done his work
+honestly, and lived steadily, but had altogether got out of the
+way of going to Church.&nbsp; There was one thing, however, that
+he had always done.&nbsp; Long years ago, as a lad, he had
+promised his mother never to get up in the morning or go to bed
+at night without saying his prayers.&nbsp; This promise he had
+kept faithfully.&nbsp; Night and morning that rough strong man
+had knelt and said the same prayers which he had first learnt at
+his mother&rsquo;s knees.&nbsp; Those prayers had been heard and
+had brought their blessing to him.&nbsp; Church going on Sunday
+is as important as daily prayers.&nbsp; A Sunday morning <!--
+page 10--><a name="page10"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+10</span>should never be allowed to pass without seeing you at
+Church.&nbsp; Lie a bed on Sunday morning is the devil&rsquo;s
+version of the fourth commandment.&nbsp; There is plenty of time
+on Sunday for Church as well as for walks and talks.&nbsp; Sunday
+is not to be a miserable day, or all Church and prayers, but God
+first and then ourselves.&nbsp; Sunday school you will most
+likely be sent to as long as you go to day school, and you will
+be wise not to give it up as soon as you are what you would call
+your own master.</p>
+<p>Both home and school ought to have their pleasures as well as
+their work.&nbsp; Do your work thoroughly, and do your pleasures
+thoroughly also.&nbsp; Share your pleasures with the others, and
+with father and mother.&nbsp; You can give much pleasure to
+father and mother, as well as to yourselves, if you try.</p>
+<p>Love God and love your home&mdash;be obedient, truthful, and
+plucky&mdash;standing up for the right, and not ashamed to refuse
+to join in the wrong; and your home and school days will train
+you well for your work in life.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 11--><a name="page11"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+11</span>GOING TO WORK</h2>
+<p>What are you going to be? is a question that has to be settled
+very early in life&mdash;earlier amongst the so-called working
+classes than any other.&nbsp; It must be settled at about
+thirteen years old.&nbsp; Fortunately for you it is not whether
+you shall do anything for your living or not, but in what way you
+shall earn your living.&nbsp; Some people seem to look upon work
+as if it were a degrading thing, and only to be used until they
+can afford to live without it.&nbsp; Life is not worth calling
+life that is not downright honest work, and a man is hardly a man
+at all who is not a working man&mdash;working either with his
+hands or his brain, or both.</p>
+<p>In determining what your calling in life shall be you must
+consider two things, 1st.&nbsp; Whether the calling you wish to
+follow is an honest and lawful one. 2nd.&nbsp; Whether you are
+fitted for it.</p>
+<p>If you can say yes to both these questions, then, provided
+your parents approve, follow out your natural inclination.&nbsp;
+A lad is far more likely to succeed in life if his heart is in
+his work, than if he <!-- page 12--><a name="page12"></a><span
+class="pagenum">p. 12</span>has to work against the grain.&nbsp;
+On the other hand, you will never deserve success if you go
+against your parents&rsquo; wishes.&nbsp; If they see reasons
+against the particular calling you wish for, (and perhaps are
+really fitted for), your duty is to follow their wishes, and bide
+your time.&nbsp; If your inclinations really point to that to
+which God calls you, He will show you the right way to it in His
+time, and your obedience to your parents will not have been
+wasted time.</p>
+<p>There are certain occupations which are not honourable, but by
+which men gain a living, which are not to be considered for a
+moment, as <i>e.g.</i>, gambling and betting.&nbsp; There are
+certain for which you would not be fitted by education or
+ability.&nbsp; Whatever calling you choose seek God and His
+righteousness first, <i>i.e.</i>, choose that which will make you
+fit for the next world as well as that which will make you
+comfortable here.&nbsp; Honest work thoroughly done here will be
+no bad passport for another world.&nbsp; When you have once
+chosen your calling stick to it, carry it out thoroughly, and
+with a determination to get on.&nbsp; Never be in a hurry to
+change, and never do so without a good reason.&nbsp; Never rest
+satisfied that you have done enough, or <!-- page 13--><a
+name="page13"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 13</span>think that
+you cannot do better.&nbsp; It is told of a celebrated sculptor,
+that he said, &ldquo;I shall fail in my next effort, for I am
+satisfied with this.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Aim high and do your best.&nbsp; Every shop-boy may not become
+a Lord Mayor, but every one who aims at getting to the top of the
+tree, and goes steadily at it, will find himself at last a good
+way from the ground.</p>
+<p>Now supposing you have made your choice and started in work
+you will find a great difference between this and school
+life.&nbsp; You will mix with elder people and a different set;
+you will have more freedom, and possibly a little more money.</p>
+<p>Don&rsquo;t think you are a man all at once, because you are
+nothing of the sort, and nothing makes a lad look more ridiculous
+than to see him trying to be a man before his time.&nbsp; You
+know the story of the toad and the ox.</p>
+<p>You have much to learn yet.&nbsp; Stick to classes and learn
+all that you can.&nbsp; Sunday classes as well as night
+classes.&nbsp; There is nothing manly in giving up religious
+duties; quite the contrary, it is cowardly.&nbsp; Do your work
+honestly and thoroughly, even though it be the custom to do
+otherwise.&nbsp; Boys are pretty sure to have some hobby of their
+<!-- page 14--><a name="page14"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+14</span>own, and a very good thing too.&nbsp; A boy is all the
+better for a hobby, even if he takes it up and drops it
+again.&nbsp; It is a good thing for a lad to have some private
+interest of his own.&nbsp; If therefore your hobby is not
+anything harmful follow it out with a will.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 15--><a name="page15"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+15</span>RELIGION.</h2>
+<p>I had some doubts about the heading of this chapter: Religion
+ought not to be a separate thing from daily life, and, therefore,
+all remarks on the subject ought to come under one or other of
+the chapters which treat of the different duties of life.&nbsp;
+There are, however, certain definite religious duties which may
+perhaps be spoken of more clearly in a separate chapter.&nbsp; I
+would ask you always to bear in mind that no religious duties are
+of much value that are not a regular part of our daily life, and
+that there is no line to be drawn between natural and religious
+duties.&nbsp; &ldquo;Whether, therefore, ye eat or drink, or
+whatsoever ye do, do all to the Glory of God.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Prayer</i>, private and public.&nbsp; What I have said in a
+former paper holds good now.&nbsp; No boy can safely neglect his
+morning and evening prayers and his public worship on
+Sundays.&nbsp; Prayer should include daily self-examination: no
+one can get on in the world unless he looks after his own
+affairs, and reckons from time to time how he stands.&nbsp; So
+with our daily life&mdash;we should try it day by day, <!-- page
+16--><a name="page16"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 16</span>and
+see if we are keeping straight.&nbsp; Each night we should look
+back over the day, see what has been wrong, what
+imperfect&mdash;seek pardon for the wrong, and determine, by
+God&rsquo;s help, to amend it.</p>
+<p><i>Public Worship</i> once a Sunday, <i>i.e.</i> in the
+morning, is the duty of every Christian: whether we go oftener is
+a matter of choice, but less we cannot do without failing in our
+duty.&nbsp; Attendance at the full morning service, <i>i.e.</i>
+the celebration of the Holy Communion, is the prayer-book rule,
+whether we observe it or not.</p>
+<p><i>Regular Communion</i> is absolutely necessary.&nbsp; How
+frequently it is advisable to come must depend upon
+circumstances, but speaking generally I should say, in the words
+of one whose opinion carries great weight, that &ldquo;monthly
+Communions are the very fewest which anyone seeking to serve God
+devoutly can make.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>I have taken it for granted that you have been confirmed,
+which will probably have taken place about the time of leaving
+school.&nbsp; Confirmation ought to make a marked change in your
+life.&nbsp; Firstly, because you are more directly responsible
+for yourself, and, secondly, because it brings you into closer
+relation, for a time at least, with your <!-- page 17--><a
+name="page17"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+17</span>clergyman.&nbsp; Before your first communion the prayer
+book speaks to you very distinctly about personal advice and
+intercourse with your parish priest.&nbsp; Neither your first or
+any subsequent communions are to be made unless you are satisfied
+as to your own fitness to come to it.&nbsp; If you are in doubt
+you are advised to go to God&rsquo;s minister, lay before him
+those sins that make you afraid or doubtful of coming, and seek
+his advice.&nbsp; This is not pleasant, but it is useful.&nbsp;
+Many people speak against it, but it is Christ&rsquo;s appointed
+way.&nbsp; If you feel that this will help you, go as often as
+you need, and do not be stopped by any foolish remarks of people
+who do not understand it, or by any thought of its being a weak
+and unmanly thing to do.&nbsp; It requires courage, perseverance,
+and a true estimate of oneself to do it, and these are not
+generally considered unmanly qualities.&nbsp; Some of the best
+men, some of the bravest soldiers, have not been ashamed of using
+this means of grace.&nbsp; Knights of old were accustomed to
+confess before they went into battle.&nbsp; Read the life of
+Henry V. of England.&nbsp; He was no milksop, or, as people would
+say now-a-days, priest-ridden king, but he did not look upon it
+as an unmanly thing.&nbsp; You are free <!-- page 18--><a
+name="page18"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 18</span>to choose, or
+free to refuse it; only pray to be guided aright by God&rsquo;s
+Holy Spirit to do that which shall be most to His glory and your
+soul&rsquo;s good.</p>
+<p><i>Almsgiving</i>.&nbsp; Whatever money you have of your own
+some portion&mdash;a tenth, if possible,&mdash;should be given to
+God in some way or other.</p>
+<p><i>Bringing others to God</i>.&nbsp; We must not be selfish in
+our religion&mdash;if God has made known the truth to us we must
+do our best that others may share it also.&nbsp; You can do much
+in a quiet way, not only by example: you can get a word in where
+others have not a chance.&nbsp; Many a youngster would gladly
+keep from wrong, and go on steadily, if he had only someone to
+stand by him.&nbsp; It is not enough to be good, we must do good,
+and never laugh at another for his religion.&nbsp; Many years ago
+a thorough change was worked in a school by the courage of one
+little boy.&nbsp; He came fresh from home, where he had been
+accustomed to say his prayers.&nbsp; He knelt down in a school
+dormitory, as he had been used to do at home, by his
+bedside.&nbsp; There was a sudden silence, the boys were
+astonished.&nbsp; Then some began to bully and try and stop him;
+others stood up for him.&nbsp; But the battle was won.&nbsp; The
+<!-- page 19--><a name="page19"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+19</span>better minded boys saw what cowards they had been to
+give up what they knew was right for fear of chaff&mdash;one by
+one they gradually followed his example, and before that lad left
+school it was the rule and not the exception for the boys to say
+their prayers.</p>
+<p><i>Fasting</i>.&nbsp; People understand feasts and are ready
+enough to keep them, but fasting is quite another matter.&nbsp;
+Feasts should be kept, and the more the great festivals are
+recognized the better.&nbsp; Fasting, however, is quite as
+necessary.&nbsp; Appointed times in which to remember more
+particularly Christ&rsquo;s suffering for us, to deny ourselves
+lawful pleasures, and to make us think more of our sins and how
+to conquer them.&nbsp; They keep us from getting careless, and
+letting our religion become a sort of Sunday clothes, to be put
+on at certain times, but to have no real effect upon our daily
+life.</p>
+<p>One thing more.&nbsp; God has given you brains and the power
+to use them.&nbsp; You are bound then to try and learn about God,
+and the duty you owe to Him.&nbsp; Every year you ought to
+advance in knowledge, and not be content with the little you were
+taught as a child.&nbsp; Read your Bible&mdash;think it out for
+yourself&mdash;pray for understanding, and study such books as
+will help you to a better knowledge of it.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 20--><a name="page20"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+20</span>COURAGE.</h2>
+<p>Boys and men are great cowards.&nbsp; There is hardly any
+accusation that an Englishman or boy resents so much as to be
+called a coward.&nbsp; Still I venture to make the accusation,
+and will try and make good my words.&nbsp; I do not mean that you
+are cowards in the sense of being afraid to attempt any act of
+daring.&nbsp; You have pluck enough to tackle a fellow half as
+big again as yourself, pluck enough to endure pain without a
+word, pluck enough to risk your life to save another, but too
+often you have not pluck enough to say no, or to brave a
+laugh.&nbsp; That is what I mean by saying that men and boys are
+cowards.&nbsp; You will let the worst fellow of the lot be the
+leader and give the tone to conversation because you have not the
+pluck to say boldly that it is wrong, and that you will not join
+in it.&nbsp; This want of moral courage makes a lad give up
+little by little his hold on what is right.&nbsp; Sunday school,
+Church-going, prayers given up because Jem chaffs so about
+them.&nbsp; If he chooses to neglect them that is his look
+out.&nbsp; You have as much right to your <!-- page 21--><a
+name="page21"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 21</span>opinion as he
+has to his.&nbsp; Why should you let him show more courage in
+doing wrong than you in doing right.&nbsp; Are you afraid of
+him?&nbsp; No.&nbsp; Well then, stick to your duty.</p>
+<p>I said just now that going to work throws you in with a
+different set of companions.&nbsp; Here, specially, comes the
+test of your courage.&nbsp; Are you going to follow bad leaders,
+or have you the courage of your own opinions.&nbsp; There is one
+particular subject where courage is most needed, and where it
+most often fails.&nbsp; A young lad naturally wants to seem to be
+manly&mdash;has a sort of feeling that he would like to show that
+he is not just a little boy and bound to do as he is told.&nbsp;
+He is tempted to show his manliness by neglect of home commands,
+rough and rude manners, bad language and bad talk.&nbsp; I have
+remarked before how home obedience and true manliness go
+together; here I want to speak more particularly about bad
+language and bad talking, and the evil it leads to.&nbsp; S. Paul
+speaks about it very plainly when he says, speaking of the things
+that should not be named amongst Christians, &ldquo;neither
+filthiness nor foolish talking nor jesting, which are not
+convenient.&rdquo;&nbsp; Now, boys, all indecent words and
+conversations are <!-- page 22--><a name="page22"></a><span
+class="pagenum">p. 22</span>wrong&mdash;they are sinful, unmanly,
+degrading.&nbsp; I know you cannot help hearing much that is
+wrong.&nbsp; Shame, be it said, to the men of England&mdash;yes,
+men who talk of advancement and freedom, men who are fathers of
+families, that they too often make or allow the talk of the
+workshop to be such that no boy can work there without hearing
+words and jokes which are not fit, I do not say for Christians to
+hear, but not fit to be spoken.&nbsp; Hearing words of evil you
+often cannot help.&nbsp; To join in them you can and must refuse,
+and unless you do so refuse you are a coward and false to your
+profession.&nbsp; I do not speak here of actual deeds of
+sin&mdash;no one can do or join in an impure deed without knowing
+that he is sinning, but many think that there is no great harm in
+listening to and laughing at what others say.&nbsp; Be warned in
+time, it is but a very little step from laughing at to joining in
+bad conversation, and a very small step from words to
+action.&nbsp; The same want of courage that joins in the laugh
+will make it difficult to say no when tempted further.&nbsp;
+Never, with companions of your own sex, and still more with those
+of the opposite sex, let any corrupt communications proceed out
+of your mouth.&nbsp; If it is necessary for you to speak upon
+such subjects <!-- page 23--><a name="page23"></a><span
+class="pagenum">p. 23</span>ask advice of those older than
+yourself, and not of companions of your own age.&nbsp; You know
+lads that you love your mother and care for your sisters.&nbsp;
+You would be furious if anyone spoke to or of them as you
+sometimes hear women spoken of.&nbsp; What would be an insult to
+them is an insult to any woman.&nbsp; Stand up for the honour and
+respect due to others as you would for your own mother or
+sister.&nbsp; You would not talk like that before your
+mother.&nbsp; Make it a rule never to do or say anything that you
+would be ashamed to say in her presence, or in the presence of
+anyone you respect.&nbsp; Courage is what you want here and
+plenty of it, but if you will only make a stand for the right,
+strength, not your own, will be given you.&nbsp; I can tell you
+of one who did so try and do the same.&nbsp; Bishop Pattison, who
+died some years ago, when he was fearlessly doing his duty in the
+islands of the Pacific, was, once a boy, face to face with this
+difficulty.&nbsp; He was in the cricket eleven of his
+school&mdash;a good player and very fond of the game.&nbsp; It
+had become the custom at cricket suppers for bad talk to be
+indulged in.&nbsp; Pattison one evening rose up at the table and
+said, &ldquo;If this conversation is to be allowed I must leave
+the eleven.&nbsp; I cannot <!-- page 24--><a
+name="page24"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 24</span>share in this
+conversation&mdash;if you determine to continue it I shall have
+no choice but to go.&rdquo;&nbsp; They did not want to lose him,
+and the foul conversation was stopped.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 25--><a name="page25"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+25</span>MONEY.</h2>
+<p>The love of money is the root of all evil.&nbsp; Nevertheless,
+money in a civilized country is a necessity.&nbsp; How to make it
+is one of the great questions, and how to spend it aright is one
+of the great difficulties.</p>
+<p>Money is power.&nbsp; It is power, if we use it aright, it
+overpowers us if we use it badly or even carelessly.&nbsp; It is
+a great mistake to want to make your money too quickly, and a
+still greater mistake to think that you are likely to do
+so.&nbsp; Money that is the result of honest labour will, if
+rightly used, be a blessing to you and yours.</p>
+<p>1st.&nbsp; How to make it.&nbsp; By honest labour, honestly
+done.&nbsp; You have chosen your trade or occupation&mdash;let
+your money be honestly earned therein, and look more to the
+quality of your work than to the quantity of your money.&nbsp;
+You have a right when you have learnt your trade to a fair
+day&rsquo;s wage for a fair day&rsquo;s work, but be sure that
+the word fair governs both the work and the wage&mdash;the fair
+work must be done before the fair wage can be rightly
+claimed.&nbsp; There is far too much scamping <!-- page 26--><a
+name="page26"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 26</span>work in the
+present day, working simply for money and not for any interest in
+the work itself.&nbsp; Money should not be a man&rsquo;s test of
+success, but the perfectness of his work.&nbsp; Men used once to
+work for love of their art, and so long as the picture was
+painted or the sculpture wrought, they cared little for the money
+they were to gain by it, or the hardship of their lives, but now
+men paint for what the public will pay for, and write and work
+not from their hearts but for their pockets.&nbsp; And with high
+and low, not success but money is the moving power&mdash;not how
+can I can make it more perfect, but what can I get for it.&nbsp;
+A man who will leave a piece of work, or a clerk who will leave a
+few minutes writing only because the clock has struck the hour,
+is little better than a money-making machine.&nbsp; Work done in
+such a spirit did not give us men like Wren or Stephenson.&nbsp;
+Read their lives and you will see what I mean.&nbsp; If your work
+is thoroughly and honestly done, you have a right to your own
+price for it, if you can find a purchaser.&nbsp; You have a right
+to sell your labour at your own price, but the master has an
+equal right to buy or to refuse.&nbsp; Combinations and unions of
+working men are perfectly right, if they unite for their own <!--
+page 27--><a name="page27"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+27</span>advantage, and for protection against oppression, and
+strikes may, though in very rare cases, be a painful
+necessity.&nbsp; It must be borne in mind that there can be no
+fixed standard of wages.&nbsp; Wages must vary with the state of
+the markets.&nbsp; Men must be ready to accept lower wages when
+trade is dull, they must bear their share of the depression as
+well as the masters, and the true principle is for men and
+masters, or if you like the expression better, capital and labour
+to go hand in hand.&nbsp; The success or ruin of the one is the
+success or ruin of the other.&nbsp; There are of course cases of
+grasping masters who will endeavour to grind their workmen, and
+there are cases of worthless and obstinate workmen, who look only
+to themselves and the present moment, but both ought to be and
+might be very rare exceptions, if the good and true men on both
+sides would come to the front.</p>
+<p>2nd.&nbsp; How to spend the money.&nbsp; Remember that you are
+God&rsquo;s steward, and will have to account for the use of this
+bounty.&nbsp; Give your tithe to God first.&nbsp; The tenth part
+of your profits, whether reckoned weekly or yearly, should be
+given to God in some way or other, and those who do it will find
+themselves blessed in earthly things, whilst they are <!-- page
+28--><a name="page28"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+28</span>laying up a treasure in heaven.&nbsp; God&rsquo;s tithe
+paid, how is the rest of your income to be spent? 1st.&nbsp;
+Necessary expenses, <i>i.e.</i>, food, clothing, &amp;c.
+2nd.&nbsp; Useful expenditure, <i>i.e.</i>, learning, books,
+&amp;c. 3rd.&nbsp; Recreation and minor luxuries.</p>
+<p>Pay your way as you go, and never run into debt.&nbsp; Debt is
+next door neighbour to theft.&nbsp; Two things I would impress
+upon you, first, that where the need is you should repay your
+parents care by helping them.&nbsp; England is disgraced by the
+number of old people who are left to the care of the parish by
+children who ought to be thankful to be allowed to support
+them.&nbsp; Secondly, that it is your duty to make provision for
+the future, so that the workhouse may not even enter into your
+calculations, as a possible refuge in old age for you and
+yours.&nbsp; This can be done by regular savings, even though
+very small, and by insuring your life.&nbsp; Post office and
+other savings&rsquo; banks, will help you in the former, and
+various insurance offices offer special facilities by weekly and
+monthly payments for the latter.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 29--><a name="page29"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+29</span>AMUSEMENTS.</h2>
+<p>Recreation is as necessary as work.&nbsp; What kind is to be
+sought after, and what avoided?&nbsp; For health&rsquo;s sake, if
+for nothing else, boys should have some kind of out-door
+amusements.&nbsp; A boy has an easy choice of good and healthy
+recreation, and therefore has no excuse for taking up with bad
+objects.&nbsp; Cricket, Rowing, Volunteering, and such-like, are
+healthy, and easily obtainable recreations.&nbsp; Gambling,
+drinking, loitering, are not to be thought of for a moment, they
+are the curse of the lazy and weak-minded.&nbsp; Theatres are
+very good if you keep out of the cheap and nasty ones.&nbsp;
+Music halls are much better avoided.&nbsp; I do not say that it
+is necessarily wrong to go there, or that you are certain to come
+to harm if you frequent them, but there is more chance of
+temptation, and an inferior entertainment for your money.&nbsp;
+Well acted plays may open out your mind, but the silliness of the
+music hall entertainment will only react upon you.&nbsp; You can
+tell a music hall frequenter, not by the words of his mouth so
+much as by the shuffle of his feet: his highest <!-- page 30--><a
+name="page30"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 30</span>ambition
+seems to be to dance the double shuffle, and perhaps sing a few
+verses of some jingling rhyme.&nbsp; Out-door recreation is not
+so easily attainable, in the winter, as the time at your disposal
+is so short.&nbsp; In-door amusements must, to a great extent,
+take their place.&nbsp; The gymnasium is a good institution;
+chess is a game worth learning, and very fascinating to some
+minds; cards are good as long as gambling is avoided, and many
+other games readily suggest themselves to one&rsquo;s mind.</p>
+<p>Reading will be more to the liking of many.&nbsp; Read books
+which are worth reading, not the penny trash which shops offer to
+the boys of England.&nbsp; I should hope that the boys of England
+have sufficient brains to care for something a little above the
+penny dreadfuls, otherwise it is a bad look out for the future
+men of England.&nbsp; Independently of libraries you can now get
+books, by good writers, as cheap as sixpence&mdash;Walter Scott,
+Fennimore Cooper, Maryatt, Dickens, &amp;c.&nbsp; A word about
+books.&nbsp; Of course, in books by writers such as I have
+mentioned you will find many things spoken of which are wrong and
+ought not to be.&nbsp; They must write so if stories are to be
+written of life as we find it, and mere goody-goody books, which
+avoid all mention <!-- page 31--><a name="page31"></a><span
+class="pagenum">p. 31</span>of such things, are unnatural, and do
+not give true pictures of life.&nbsp; The harm of too many cheap
+publications, and not only the cheap ones, is, that in speaking
+of these things they make them appear unavoidable, and even
+worthy of praise.&nbsp; Good writers show how revolting crime and
+evil is, how they can be overcome and resisted, and how truth and
+honesty must prevail in the end.&nbsp; The difference between
+good books and plays and bad ones is not so much the subjects
+they write about as the way in which they speak of them.&nbsp;
+Some of the cheap literature is only foolish, some is distinctly
+wicked, but both are better avoided, and your time and money
+spent on worthier objects.&nbsp; Avoid bad company, and take care
+that your recreations are manly and honest.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 32--><a name="page32"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+32</span>HOME DUTIES.</h2>
+<p>As soon as you begin to bear your share in the expenses of
+home, you will naturally look to have your word in the
+arrangements thereof.&nbsp; From the time that you begin to earn
+your own living, until the time that you make a home for
+yourself, there will be certain home duties which you have no
+right to neglect.</p>
+<p>First of all, you must be ready to bear your fair share in the
+expenses of the home.&nbsp; When first you go to work, you will
+probably be expected to bring home all your money, and have a
+certain sum given to you for pocket money.&nbsp; As you grow
+older, you will agree to pay a certain sum for your board and
+lodging, and keep the rest for yourself.&nbsp; Let your payments
+be such as will do a little more than actually cover the expense
+of what you have.&nbsp; Give a thought to the general comfort of
+the home, and in time of need when perhaps your father&rsquo;s
+work is slack, be ready to increase your help, even though it may
+decrease your own personal comfort.</p>
+<p>Secondly, you must acknowledge the authority <!-- page 33--><a
+name="page33"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 33</span>of the head
+of the house, and respect his wishes as to home arrangements,
+time for being in at night, &amp;c.</p>
+<p>Thirdly.&nbsp; Recognise your responsibilities to your
+brothers and sisters.&nbsp; If you are the eldest son you are
+bound to be the example, and if need be the protector of the
+others, and whether elder or not you have still your duties and
+responsibilities.&nbsp; A good brother is a great help to a
+sister, and her brother&rsquo;s good opinion will be something
+which she will be very sorry to forfeit through any fault of
+hers.&nbsp; For your sisters&rsquo; sake specially you are bound
+to be careful that your companions whom you may bring home with
+you should not be such as would not be fit company for
+them.&nbsp; Your duties to your parents I have already mentioned,
+and the older you grow the more thoroughly you should carry them
+out, so that, as you grow out of mere boyhood, you may become
+more and more the companion and friend of your father, and more
+and more the comfort and support of your mother.&nbsp; It is a
+great thing in time of trouble to have one son to whom they can
+look without fear of his help failing them.&nbsp; It is far too
+common to see young fellows, so soon as they can earn enough <!--
+page 34--><a name="page34"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+34</span>to support themselves, leaving home and going into
+lodgings because they are freer and more comfortable, and leaving
+their parents to struggle on with the youngsters.&nbsp; It is a
+selfish and ungrateful course, and therefore sure to be without a
+blessing from God.&nbsp; I am talking now of those whose work
+keeps them near home, and who only leave their home to escape its
+duties, or as they would miscall them, its burdens.&nbsp; Many,
+of course, must leave home.&nbsp; If work calls you elsewhere it
+is another matter.&nbsp; It would be a very good thing in many
+instances if young fellows would have the pluck to emigrate and
+make their way in a new country.&nbsp; Englishmen are getting too
+fond of stopping at home where the labour markets are
+overstocked.&nbsp; Emigration is one of the best openings for a
+young fellow if he makes up his mind to work, and does not expect
+a fortune to fall into his lap because he has gone to a new
+country to seek it.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 35--><a name="page35"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+35</span>SELF-IMPROVEMENT.</h2>
+<p>Boys generally leave school at about thirteen years of age,
+but they make a very great mistake if they leave off learning at
+that age.&nbsp; Time might be roughly divided off into four
+parts&mdash;necessary work, work for others, self-improvement,
+and recreation.&nbsp; A man&rsquo;s education is never
+completed.&nbsp; A man is never too old to learn.&nbsp; Whilst
+you are a boy and lad you need to be taught; afterwards you can
+to a great extent learn for yourself.&nbsp; You should never be
+content to remain just where you are, you should endeavour to
+make the most of your opportunities, and to advance in knowledge
+and capability.&nbsp; You are taught in your catechism to
+&ldquo;do your duty in that state of life unto which it shall
+please God to call you.&rdquo;&nbsp; This does not mean that you
+are not to try and better your position.&nbsp; Quite the
+contrary; it means that while you are to go on contentedly in the
+station and work which God has allotted to you, you are also to
+try and use to the utmost all the opportunities and powers which
+he has given.&nbsp; He has called you to your present position,
+He may <!-- page 36--><a name="page36"></a><span
+class="pagenum">p. 36</span>be calling you to something
+more.&nbsp; If he has given you the power and opportunity of
+raising yourself, he meant you to use them.&nbsp; It is a false
+humility and a false view of religion that encourages sloth under
+the pretence of being contented with one&rsquo;s humble
+lot.&nbsp; There is God&rsquo;s work&mdash;real every day work to
+be done in worldly as well as in what seems to be more directly
+spiritual work.&nbsp; One&rsquo;s whole interest is not to be
+centred on earthly things, neither are we to be so heavenly
+minded as to neglect earthly duties, and the talents which God
+has committed to our trust.&nbsp; It is your duty then to do your
+utmost to improve your stock of knowledge.&nbsp; School has laid
+the foundation, and you must work at the building.&nbsp; Your own
+particular tastes or your work will suggest the subjects to which
+you should first turn your attention.&nbsp; Develop the natural
+powers you have, and advance steadily from one subject to
+another.&nbsp; Set apart a certain portion of your spare time for
+study and self-improvement.&nbsp; Remember also that you have
+certain duties to your neighbours and your country, and that in
+order to fulfil them you must understand your position as a man
+and a citizen.&nbsp; Read the history both of your own country
+and of <!-- page 37--><a name="page37"></a><span
+class="pagenum">p. 37</span>other lands.&nbsp; Read your
+paper.&nbsp; Study the questions of the day, both at home and
+abroad, and learn to form your own opinion concerning them.&nbsp;
+Learn to think for yourself, and not take as gospel all that you
+read in your favourite paper.&nbsp; Look at both sides of a
+question and make up your own mind.&nbsp; Comparatively few
+people think for themselves, and for that reason men are so often
+carried away by popular leaders, and obstinately follow opinions,
+the truth of which they have never tested, and the consequences
+of which they have never considered.&nbsp; There are many
+opportunities in classes and lectures for men to gain
+information, but they will be of little real use unless men will
+think for themselves, and work out the subjects instead of taking
+their opinions ready made.&nbsp; Study, not simply listen.&nbsp;
+Study both secular and religious subjects.&nbsp; You may be sure
+that there can be no advance in real self-improvement unless it
+is well balanced.&nbsp; Religious knowledge should go hand in
+hand with secular knowledge.&nbsp; Christ should be our great
+example in this as in all else, and He &ldquo;increased in wisdom
+and stature, and in favour with God and men.&rdquo;</p>
+<h2><!-- page 38--><a name="page38"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+38</span>CHUMS.</h2>
+<p>Birds of a feather flock together.&nbsp; A man is known by his
+friends.&nbsp; It is of great importance therefore that your
+friends should be such as will show that you yourself are of the
+right sort.&nbsp; A boy, unless he is a particularly disagreeable
+one, will probably have a fair number of friends, that is to say,
+of fellows that he knows and associates with, but above and
+beyond these he will probably have some one particular chum, one
+who shares in all his plans, one with whom to talk over all his
+schemes, one often with whom to join in some piece of
+mischief.&nbsp; Chums to do one another much good should be about
+the same age.&nbsp; There may be a friendship between an elder
+and a younger boy, or between a boy and a man, but they will not
+be exactly chums.&nbsp; A friendship of this sort is very useful
+if the elder is one who will lead aright, but if the elder is the
+weaker of the two, or still more if the elder is viciously
+inclined, such an acquaintance is one of the worst possible
+things for a lad.&nbsp; A young boy, hanging on to an elder one,
+<!-- page 39--><a name="page39"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+39</span>learning all his bad habits, is only too likely to prove
+an apt pupil, and come utterly to grief.&nbsp; Remember no one is
+worthy of the name of friend who would ever counsel you to do
+anything wrong, or who would not give you a word in season when
+he found you were going on a wrong tack.&nbsp; A chum of
+one&rsquo;s own age is quite a different article.&nbsp; Very
+often they are not lads of the same dispositions and tastes, and
+are drawn to one another by these very differences.&nbsp; It not
+unfrequently happens that a bright active lad will chum with a
+very quiet meditative one.&nbsp; The one doing the thinking and
+the other the acting.&nbsp; Such friendships will last on
+sometimes through life, but generally well through boyhood.&nbsp;
+Very often the last act of chumship is the acting as best man at
+the friend&rsquo;s wedding.&nbsp; Such friendships will work
+great good so long as they are on the give and take principle,
+and that nothing is given or taken of the bad qualities which may
+be in each.&nbsp; A boy without a chum is very likely to grow
+either conceited or selfish, or both.&nbsp; A good-natured chum
+is a very useful check.&nbsp; He does not mind chaffing him out
+of any little absurdities, and rubbing against one another they
+manage to knock off many odd corners and polish <!-- page 40--><a
+name="page40"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 40</span>up one
+another.&nbsp; Any chumship in evil is to be avoided.&nbsp; If a
+chum, however much he may be liked, wants you to go in for a
+partnership in evil he must be given up.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t say
+that you can give up caring for him, but he must be made to see
+clearly that he must make his choice between the evil doing and
+you&mdash;that he cannot be chums with both.&nbsp; Chums should
+have strict honour between themselves, and always be ready to
+stand up for one another.&nbsp; A good chum prevents one becoming
+a prig, and there is nothing short of actual vice which is so
+hateful in a boy as priggishness.&nbsp; There is as much
+difference between a prig and a right-minded boy as between chalk
+and cheese.&nbsp; A right-minded boy goes on his way trying to do
+right and live honestly and purely, because it is right and
+honourable, and because deep in his own heart he knows he has
+promised Jesus Christ that he will live a godly life.&nbsp; A
+prig is also doing right and living purely and honestly, but is
+all the time trying to make other people see it, and not doing it
+simply because it is right.&nbsp; Hence he has not half the
+strength when real temptation comes, because he has always been
+looking at the outside effect of his life, instead of <!-- page
+41--><a name="page41"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+41</span>looking inward, to see if he is true to his
+promise.&nbsp; Avoid priggishness, but do not be afraid of being
+called a prig when it is only the taunt by which someone hopes to
+shame you into doing that which you know in your heart is
+wrong.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 42--><a name="page42"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+42</span>COURTSHIP.</h2>
+<p>There comes a time when a young man begins seriously to look
+forward to settling in life and having a home of his own.&nbsp;
+As a boy he may have had his likings among the girl companions
+with whom he was acquainted, but now it becomes a totally
+different question, and his intercourse with young women assumes
+the position of courtship.</p>
+<p>It is only natural and right that man should look where God
+intended him to look for a help-meet and companion, but all
+depends upon the way in which he does it.&nbsp; There is no need
+to be in a hurry.&nbsp; Better to wait and make quite sure.&nbsp;
+As a general rule I should say that twenty-five was quite young
+enough for a man to marry, but still that must entirely depend
+upon circumstances.</p>
+<p>Before I venture to suggest a few thoughts concerning
+courtship and the choice of a wife, I should like to make a few
+remarks upon the manner in which women ought to be treated by
+men.&nbsp; It is too much the custom for men to look upon women
+as beings the object of whose creation was to be <!-- page
+43--><a name="page43"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+43</span>pleasant companions for them before marriage and useful
+servants after marriage.&nbsp; Hence there is a very great want
+of respect and honourable treatment.&nbsp; A young fellow, before
+he steadies down as the expression is, does not think there is
+anything mean or dishonourable in his leading a girl on, and
+without any intention of ruining her, allowing her to lower
+herself by her conversation and manners.&nbsp; He does not
+consider the harm that he is doing to the girl, how it may be the
+first step to ruin.&nbsp; He means no harm, only just amusing
+himself with her.&nbsp; Is it not mean, however, simply for his
+own pleasure to treat a woman as if she were merely a plaything,
+instead of a being as valuable in God&rsquo;s sight as himself,
+and equally with him an object of God&rsquo;s love and
+care.&nbsp; No words suffice to denounce the wickedness and
+meanness of the coward, who, taking advantage of a girl&rsquo;s
+real though misguided love for him, will seduce her into sin and
+then leave her to bear the punishment and disgrace.&nbsp; No
+words can describe the heartless wickedness which will rob a
+woman of that which is her greatest treasure and ornament, and
+bring upon her a sorrow which the grave alone can end.&nbsp; He
+may escape punishment here.&nbsp; He may even gain a <!-- page
+44--><a name="page44"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 44</span>sort
+of reputation as one who can always gain the attention of women,
+but he will only receive the greater punishment from the judge
+and avenger of all.&nbsp; One word more before I close these
+remarks, which I would have gladly omitted from these papers, but
+truth demands them.</p>
+<p>Some men seem to think that the sin and responsibility is very
+slight if it be committed with a woman who trades upon her
+sin.&nbsp; Undoubtedly it is not so cowardly as the ruin of a
+pure and innocent woman, but who can tell that you may not have
+met with that woman at the turning point in her life, when but
+for you she might have repented? and at the very least you have
+added to the weight of her sin.&nbsp; Once she had been pure, God
+alone knows her history, but who of the many who have taken
+advantage of her misery and helped to chain her to her life of
+sin will be held guiltless by Him?&nbsp; Great, fearful is her
+guilt, but God alone knows how she may long to be free.&nbsp; Far
+greater is their guilt who for their own selfish enjoyment do not
+hesitate to plunge deeper into ruin a soul for whom Christ
+died.&nbsp; If men treated all women honourably&mdash;all, not
+simply their relations and friends,&mdash;there would not be
+those who make their <!-- page 45--><a name="page45"></a><span
+class="pagenum">p. 45</span>living by sin.&nbsp; Such a state of
+things it may be hopeless to expect, so long as cowards are to be
+found amongst men, but it is not too much to expect from
+honourable men and Christians that they should treat all women
+with such respect, that, as far as lies in their power, the
+stigma of meanness and cowardice should not rest upon the men of
+this land.&nbsp; Treat them with respect, not only in your
+intercourse with them, but in your conversation about them, and
+your thoughts concerning them.</p>
+<p>But to turn to a pleasanter subject, the honourable courtship
+of man and maiden.&nbsp; Certain things should be taken into
+consideration in making your choice.&nbsp; First, that the object
+of your choice should be one whom you can thoroughly love and
+entirely trust.&nbsp; Secondly, that she should be one whom you
+feel would be a real help in life.&nbsp; Thirdly, that she should
+be of the same religion as yourself (otherwise difficulties in
+after life are sure to arise) and a really religious woman.&nbsp;
+And Fourthly, that she should be not merely, or even necessarily,
+a bright and pretty companion, but should have such qualities as
+are necessary for a good wife and mother&mdash;one who can manage
+a home as well as help to pass an hour or so pleasantly.</p>
+<p><!-- page 46--><a name="page46"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+46</span>Your courtship should be thoroughly open and
+above-board.&nbsp; The parents consent should first be obtained,
+and remember that you are bound to respect their wishes.&nbsp; Be
+careful also that she shall never in any way be compromised by
+your conduct.&nbsp; I say no more because I have assumed at the
+beginning that your courtship is honourable, that you love the
+girl of your choice, and that as you would shield her from all
+injury from others, so she will be safe under your
+protection.&nbsp; Take no ordinary standard as the rule of your
+courtship, but determine from the very beginning that it shall be
+so conducted, that when as man and wife you look back upon it, it
+may be with feelings free from any taint of sorrow or shame; that
+when you stand before God to be married it may be as honest man
+and maiden, seeking for God&rsquo;s full blessing upon your
+married life, as it has rested upon your unmarried days.&nbsp;
+One thing I would say in conclusion, and I mention it last as
+being the most important, let your choice of a wife be a subject
+of earnest prayer to God, and when your choice has been made, and
+your love pledged one to another, let it be a subject of mutual
+prayer that each may help the other to live to the glory of God,
+in the station of life in which he sees fit to place you.</p>
+<h2><!-- page 47--><a name="page47"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+47</span>HUSBANDS.</h2>
+<p>The headship of a family carries with it heavy
+responsibilities.&nbsp; We may shrink from them and avoid them,
+but still they remain.&nbsp; A good husband and a good father
+makes a happy home and honest children.&nbsp; Drunkenness is too
+often the destruction of home.&nbsp; If the head of the family
+can rule himself in this as in other matters then he may
+reasonably hope for a happy and comfortable home, but if drink is
+allowed to take the place of wife or children, drink will rule
+the household and swallow up its peace and prosperity.&nbsp;
+Nevertheless, drunkenness is not by any means the only fault or
+indeed the beginning of the break up of a home.&nbsp; It is very
+often the result of a home made miserable by other and easily
+avoided faults.&nbsp; Many I suppose start their married life
+with the full intention of realising their ideas of a happy
+home.&nbsp; The picture is very pleasant, the reality is too
+often quite the reverse.&nbsp; Why?&nbsp; Very often because of a
+want of mutual forbearance.&nbsp; It takes some little time
+really to know one another, and unless there is a spirit of <!--
+page 48--><a name="page48"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+48</span>mutual forbearance the little differences will become
+great quarrels.&nbsp; The husband is to rule, but he is not to be
+a tyrant.&nbsp; The wife is not bound to give a blind obedience
+to all his commands, and the husband is bound to respect his
+wife&rsquo;s wishes.&nbsp; It ought to be a rule that in matters
+of importance, where either feels it to be a question of duty,
+that if they cannot agree neither should endeavour to force the
+other to act against their conscience.</p>
+<p>My first piece of practical advice to husbands would be to
+have a proper understanding about money matters, and to be
+liberal therein.&nbsp; Give your wife a regular sum per week, and
+let it be clearly arranged what expenses she is responsible
+for.</p>
+<p>Secondly, do not have any friends that you cannot or do not
+care to bring to your home, and let no one come between you and
+your wife, or draw you away to enjoy yourself apart from her.</p>
+<p>Thirdly, do your church-going together as far as you can, and
+when that is impossible arrange one with the other, so that each
+may be able to go at some time every Sunday.&nbsp; Above all keep
+one another up to your regular Communions, for there is little
+blessing on the married union that is not blessed with a higher
+communion.</p>
+<p><!-- page 49--><a name="page49"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+49</span>Fourthly.&nbsp; When you have children train them
+yourself, specially the boys, who will gain far more good from
+father than from anyone else.&nbsp; It is too much the custom to
+leave all the religious training to mother or to school.&nbsp;
+Take your children to Church with you instead of seeing that they
+are sent.&nbsp; Come is a much better word of instruction than
+go.</p>
+<p>A few words in conclusion as to the general duties of a man,
+be he married or single.&nbsp; You have no right to shirk your
+duties as a man to your home, as a Christian to your Church, or
+as a citizen to your country.&nbsp; The support and training of
+your family is your first duty, and nothing may rightly come in
+the way of that, but the fulfilling of that need not prevent your
+carrying out your other duties.&nbsp; You are a Christian, you
+receive spiritual benefits from your connection with the Church,
+you are bound then to make some return.&nbsp; Your prayers, your
+alms, and your active work, according to your means and
+opportunities, ought to be available for the work of the
+Church.&nbsp; There ought not to be any drones in the
+Church&rsquo;s hive, but each member should bear his share of the
+burdens, as well as partake of the blessings.&nbsp; There is work
+for everyone that is ready to help.</p>
+<p><!-- page 50--><a name="page50"></a><span class="pagenum">p.
+50</span>You have still your duty to your country.&nbsp; Your own
+personal influence may not be great, but you are nevertheless
+bound to use it on the side which you believe to be right.&nbsp;
+Public opinion is made up by the agreement of many, and the
+course of the nation is guided eventually by the votes of the
+people.&nbsp; You have your share in the responsibility of all
+that is done, and are therefore bound to endeavour to understand
+the questions of the day, and to act upon the conclusions you may
+form.&nbsp; No man has a right to shirk any of the
+responsibilities of his position, and a true man will endeavour
+to serve God and his fellow-men to the best of his
+ability&mdash;to do as much good as he can in the little time
+allotted to him, and to leave the reward of his labours in the
+hands of Him for whose sake and after whose example he has
+endeavoured to spend his life.</p>
+<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BOYS***</p>
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