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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/23230-h.zip b/23230-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7acd251 --- /dev/null +++ b/23230-h.zip diff --git a/23230-h/23230-h.htm b/23230-h/23230-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c0a4a60 --- /dev/null +++ b/23230-h/23230-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1400 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=US-ASCII" /> +<title>Boys</title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + P { margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + P.headingsummary { margin-left: 5%;} + H1, H2 { + text-align: center; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + } + H3, H4, H5 { + text-align: left; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1em; + } + BODY{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + table { border-collapse: collapse; } + td { vertical-align: top; border: 1px solid black;} + td p { margin: 0.2em; } + .blkquot {margin-left: 4em; margin-right: 4em;} /* block indent */ + + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + + .pagenum {position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + color: gray;} + + .citation {vertical-align: super; + font-size: .8em; + text-decoration: none;} + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> +</head> +<body> +<h2> +<a href="#startoftext">Boys, by Anonymous</a> +</h2> +<pre> +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Boys, by Anonymous + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Boys + their Work and Influence + + +Author: Anonymous + + + +Release Date: October 28, 2007 [eBook #23230] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BOYS*** +</pre> +<p><a name="startoftext"></a></p> +<p>Transcribed from the Skeffington & Son tenth edition by +David Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org</p> +<h1>BOYS:<br /> +THEIR WORK AND INFLUENCE.</h1> +<p style="text-align: center"><i>Tenth Edition</i>.</p> +<p style="text-align: center">LONDON:<br /> +SKEFFINGTON & SON, PICCADILLY, W.<br /> +<span class="smcap">publishers to h.m. the queen and to h.r.h. +the prince of wales</span>.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><!-- page 2--><a +name="page2"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 2</span><i>By the same +Author</i>, 9<i>d.</i>, <i>elegant cloth</i>,<br /> +10<i>th</i> <i>Edition</i>.</p> +<h2>GIRLS:<br /> +<span class="smcap">their work and influence</span>.</h2> +<p>NEW BOOK by the same Author. 3rd Edition. Elegant +cloth, price 1s. 6d., by post 1s. 8d.</p> +<p>HE THAT SERVETH: Counsel and Help for Workers; being Short +Readings, etc., specially, but not solely, adapted for Domestic +and other Servants, etc., Including most of the <span +class="smcap">Church Seasons</span>; on various <span +class="smcap">Duties</span>, <span class="smcap">Faults</span>, +<span class="smcap">Temptations</span>, etc.; <span +class="smcap">Confirmation</span>, <span class="smcap">Holy +Communion</span>, etc. The Publishers believe this little +book will be most useful in meeting a very felt want.</p> +<h2><!-- page 3--><a name="page3"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +3</span>INTRODUCTION</h2> +<p>The following papers were written at the request of one who +had read the somewhat similar papers addressed to girls. +The object aimed at in both books has been to try and help Boys +and Girls of the so-called working classes to recognize their +duties to God and their neighbour, and to use on the side of +right the powers and opportunities which God has given them.</p> +<p>It seems to the author that advice given to the so-called +lower orders, often partakes too much of patronage, and too +little of the brotherhood, that should be a sign of +Christians. “Do as you are told and be +thankful,” is too much the tone of the advice, instead of +explaining duties, pointing out opportunities, and recognizing +them as fellow-labourers in the great work.</p> +<p>In God’s household everyone has his place assigned to +him by the master, some to govern, and some to serve, but still +all are fellow-servants of that one Master, and brethren in +Christ.</p> +<h2><!-- page 5--><a name="page5"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +5</span>BOYS.</h2> +<p>What a curious fellow a boy is. I wonder if boys ever +think about themselves. A young monkey is full of mischief, +a young puppy is full of play, a young kitten is always ready for +fun, but a boy seems to combine the qualities of all three, and +to have a stock of his own to jumble up with them. A boy +has so many sides, not only an outside and an inside; he is a +many sided being. See him at one time and you would hardly +suppose him to be the same creature that you had seen a little +while before. Now he is a bright nice spoken lad, in a few +moments he is a bullying tyrant, now he is courteously answering +those who speak to him, now words come from his lips that shock +the hearer. Now he would scorn to have his word doubted by +a comrade, now he does not hesitate to lie to escape +punishment. Now fearless, now a coward, now full of +spirits, now in the depths of woe—sunshine or joy, wind and +calm, silence and tumult, all seem to have their place, and to +make up that incomprehensible and yet delightful animal a +boy.</p> +<p><!-- page 6--><a name="page6"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +6</span>Now boys, I want you to think of yourselves—not to +think how good or how bad you are—what fine fellows you +are, and what important persons, but what you are capable of +becoming. You will not remain boys always—you are +now, in the midst of all your oddities, forming your character, +and shaping your future course, drawing out of the midst of all +your contradictions the character that will make you honest +God-fearing men, like in your degree to the perfect pattern of +manhood which God has set before us in Christ—or you are +letting yourselves be moulded into the selfish sensual being, +which too often degrades the name of man.</p> +<p>Thinking, I know, is not much in your line at present, but you +will perhaps spare me a few minutes, and give me a little of your +attention while I try to point out to you the way in which you +may, if you will, turn your powers to account, and avoid the +dangers which have been the shipwreck of many a lad’s +bright prospects.</p> +<h2><!-- page 7--><a name="page7"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +7</span>HOME AND SCHOOL</h2> +<p>I shall take it for granted that you care for your parents and +home, or at any rate that you would like to have a comfortable +home. Well, then, make it so yourself. You can do a +great deal towards it. Honour and obedience is your first +duty towards your parents. There is nothing manly in +disobedience. Honour and obey, readily and +cheerfully. Not simply obedient to father because he might +thrash you; and disobedient to mother because she cannot compel +you. No, the truest honour in a boy is when mother can +thoroughly trust him—trust him to obey her because she is +mother.</p> +<p>Brothers and sisters are often a trouble. “How +those children do nag?” “Never can leave those +boys together.” “He’s sure to teaze her +if I leave them alone.” Don’t be a bully either +to your brothers or sisters. Don’t be selfish and +claim all you can for yourself. Share and share alike +should be the rule, and gentleness towards the girls and little +ones.</p> +<p><!-- page 8--><a name="page8"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +8</span>School will help to take the nonsense out of you; you +cannot have it all your own way there. Boys will be boys, +is a very common expression, and it would be very funny indeed if +boys did not turn out to be boys, but that is no reason that boys +should be rude or cruel, and in fact “little +cubs.” Quarrels there will be sometimes—very +often for no real reason, sometimes for a good cause. If +you have one fight it out then and there, and bear no malice +afterwards. I would rather see a fair fight and have done +with it, than keeping up a nasty quarrel, and trying to spite one +another in little mean ways. There is too often a want of +real honour amongst boys. Telling tales of one another +seems to be the fashion, and the favourite way of paying off old +scores. There are of course times when a boy must speak out +against wrong, even at the risk of being counted a sneak, but, as +a rule, boys who delight in telling tales, and who have not the +sense of honour to stick by one another are a very poor lot.</p> +<p>Do your school work thoroughly. Idleness is not only +wrong but foolish. There is a time for work and a time for +play. Learn as much as you can and learn thoroughly if you +want to be of any <!-- page 9--><a name="page9"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 9</span>use in after life. A boy’s +religion is not a thing that shows very much on the surface, or +that he is very likely to talk much about, but it must be in him +if he is any worth.</p> +<p>Boys and girls alike should learn from their mother to say +their prayers night and morning, and when they become too old, or +mother too busy for them to say them at her knee, they should +never omit to say them by themselves. I heard the other day +of a rough labouring man, who on his death bed sent for the +priest of his parish. He said he had never been inside a +Church since he had been a man. He had done his work +honestly, and lived steadily, but had altogether got out of the +way of going to Church. There was one thing, however, that +he had always done. Long years ago, as a lad, he had +promised his mother never to get up in the morning or go to bed +at night without saying his prayers. This promise he had +kept faithfully. Night and morning that rough strong man +had knelt and said the same prayers which he had first learnt at +his mother’s knees. Those prayers had been heard and +had brought their blessing to him. Church going on Sunday +is as important as daily prayers. A Sunday morning <!-- +page 10--><a name="page10"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +10</span>should never be allowed to pass without seeing you at +Church. Lie a bed on Sunday morning is the devil’s +version of the fourth commandment. There is plenty of time +on Sunday for Church as well as for walks and talks. Sunday +is not to be a miserable day, or all Church and prayers, but God +first and then ourselves. Sunday school you will most +likely be sent to as long as you go to day school, and you will +be wise not to give it up as soon as you are what you would call +your own master.</p> +<p>Both home and school ought to have their pleasures as well as +their work. Do your work thoroughly, and do your pleasures +thoroughly also. Share your pleasures with the others, and +with father and mother. You can give much pleasure to +father and mother, as well as to yourselves, if you try.</p> +<p>Love God and love your home—be obedient, truthful, and +plucky—standing up for the right, and not ashamed to refuse +to join in the wrong; and your home and school days will train +you well for your work in life.</p> +<h2><!-- page 11--><a name="page11"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +11</span>GOING TO WORK</h2> +<p>What are you going to be? is a question that has to be settled +very early in life—earlier amongst the so-called working +classes than any other. It must be settled at about +thirteen years old. Fortunately for you it is not whether +you shall do anything for your living or not, but in what way you +shall earn your living. Some people seem to look upon work +as if it were a degrading thing, and only to be used until they +can afford to live without it. Life is not worth calling +life that is not downright honest work, and a man is hardly a man +at all who is not a working man—working either with his +hands or his brain, or both.</p> +<p>In determining what your calling in life shall be you must +consider two things, 1st. Whether the calling you wish to +follow is an honest and lawful one. 2nd. Whether you are +fitted for it.</p> +<p>If you can say yes to both these questions, then, provided +your parents approve, follow out your natural inclination. +A lad is far more likely to succeed in life if his heart is in +his work, than if he <!-- page 12--><a name="page12"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 12</span>has to work against the grain. +On the other hand, you will never deserve success if you go +against your parents’ wishes. If they see reasons +against the particular calling you wish for, (and perhaps are +really fitted for), your duty is to follow their wishes, and bide +your time. If your inclinations really point to that to +which God calls you, He will show you the right way to it in His +time, and your obedience to your parents will not have been +wasted time.</p> +<p>There are certain occupations which are not honourable, but by +which men gain a living, which are not to be considered for a +moment, as <i>e.g.</i>, gambling and betting. There are +certain for which you would not be fitted by education or +ability. Whatever calling you choose seek God and His +righteousness first, <i>i.e.</i>, choose that which will make you +fit for the next world as well as that which will make you +comfortable here. Honest work thoroughly done here will be +no bad passport for another world. When you have once +chosen your calling stick to it, carry it out thoroughly, and +with a determination to get on. Never be in a hurry to +change, and never do so without a good reason. Never rest +satisfied that you have done enough, or <!-- page 13--><a +name="page13"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 13</span>think that +you cannot do better. It is told of a celebrated sculptor, +that he said, “I shall fail in my next effort, for I am +satisfied with this.”</p> +<p>Aim high and do your best. Every shop-boy may not become +a Lord Mayor, but every one who aims at getting to the top of the +tree, and goes steadily at it, will find himself at last a good +way from the ground.</p> +<p>Now supposing you have made your choice and started in work +you will find a great difference between this and school +life. You will mix with elder people and a different set; +you will have more freedom, and possibly a little more money.</p> +<p>Don’t think you are a man all at once, because you are +nothing of the sort, and nothing makes a lad look more ridiculous +than to see him trying to be a man before his time. You +know the story of the toad and the ox.</p> +<p>You have much to learn yet. Stick to classes and learn +all that you can. Sunday classes as well as night +classes. There is nothing manly in giving up religious +duties; quite the contrary, it is cowardly. Do your work +honestly and thoroughly, even though it be the custom to do +otherwise. Boys are pretty sure to have some hobby of their +<!-- page 14--><a name="page14"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +14</span>own, and a very good thing too. A boy is all the +better for a hobby, even if he takes it up and drops it +again. It is a good thing for a lad to have some private +interest of his own. If therefore your hobby is not +anything harmful follow it out with a will.</p> +<h2><!-- page 15--><a name="page15"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +15</span>RELIGION.</h2> +<p>I had some doubts about the heading of this chapter: Religion +ought not to be a separate thing from daily life, and, therefore, +all remarks on the subject ought to come under one or other of +the chapters which treat of the different duties of life. +There are, however, certain definite religious duties which may +perhaps be spoken of more clearly in a separate chapter. I +would ask you always to bear in mind that no religious duties are +of much value that are not a regular part of our daily life, and +that there is no line to be drawn between natural and religious +duties. “Whether, therefore, ye eat or drink, or +whatsoever ye do, do all to the Glory of God.”</p> +<p><i>Prayer</i>, private and public. What I have said in a +former paper holds good now. No boy can safely neglect his +morning and evening prayers and his public worship on +Sundays. Prayer should include daily self-examination: no +one can get on in the world unless he looks after his own +affairs, and reckons from time to time how he stands. So +with our daily life—we should try it day by day, <!-- page +16--><a name="page16"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 16</span>and +see if we are keeping straight. Each night we should look +back over the day, see what has been wrong, what +imperfect—seek pardon for the wrong, and determine, by +God’s help, to amend it.</p> +<p><i>Public Worship</i> once a Sunday, <i>i.e.</i> in the +morning, is the duty of every Christian: whether we go oftener is +a matter of choice, but less we cannot do without failing in our +duty. Attendance at the full morning service, <i>i.e.</i> +the celebration of the Holy Communion, is the prayer-book rule, +whether we observe it or not.</p> +<p><i>Regular Communion</i> is absolutely necessary. How +frequently it is advisable to come must depend upon +circumstances, but speaking generally I should say, in the words +of one whose opinion carries great weight, that “monthly +Communions are the very fewest which anyone seeking to serve God +devoutly can make.”</p> +<p>I have taken it for granted that you have been confirmed, +which will probably have taken place about the time of leaving +school. Confirmation ought to make a marked change in your +life. Firstly, because you are more directly responsible +for yourself, and, secondly, because it brings you into closer +relation, for a time at least, with your <!-- page 17--><a +name="page17"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +17</span>clergyman. Before your first communion the prayer +book speaks to you very distinctly about personal advice and +intercourse with your parish priest. Neither your first or +any subsequent communions are to be made unless you are satisfied +as to your own fitness to come to it. If you are in doubt +you are advised to go to God’s minister, lay before him +those sins that make you afraid or doubtful of coming, and seek +his advice. This is not pleasant, but it is useful. +Many people speak against it, but it is Christ’s appointed +way. If you feel that this will help you, go as often as +you need, and do not be stopped by any foolish remarks of people +who do not understand it, or by any thought of its being a weak +and unmanly thing to do. It requires courage, perseverance, +and a true estimate of oneself to do it, and these are not +generally considered unmanly qualities. Some of the best +men, some of the bravest soldiers, have not been ashamed of using +this means of grace. Knights of old were accustomed to +confess before they went into battle. Read the life of +Henry V. of England. He was no milksop, or, as people would +say now-a-days, priest-ridden king, but he did not look upon it +as an unmanly thing. You are free <!-- page 18--><a +name="page18"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 18</span>to choose, or +free to refuse it; only pray to be guided aright by God’s +Holy Spirit to do that which shall be most to His glory and your +soul’s good.</p> +<p><i>Almsgiving</i>. Whatever money you have of your own +some portion—a tenth, if possible,—should be given to +God in some way or other.</p> +<p><i>Bringing others to God</i>. We must not be selfish in +our religion—if God has made known the truth to us we must +do our best that others may share it also. You can do much +in a quiet way, not only by example: you can get a word in where +others have not a chance. Many a youngster would gladly +keep from wrong, and go on steadily, if he had only someone to +stand by him. It is not enough to be good, we must do good, +and never laugh at another for his religion. Many years ago +a thorough change was worked in a school by the courage of one +little boy. He came fresh from home, where he had been +accustomed to say his prayers. He knelt down in a school +dormitory, as he had been used to do at home, by his +bedside. There was a sudden silence, the boys were +astonished. Then some began to bully and try and stop him; +others stood up for him. But the battle was won. The +<!-- page 19--><a name="page19"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +19</span>better minded boys saw what cowards they had been to +give up what they knew was right for fear of chaff—one by +one they gradually followed his example, and before that lad left +school it was the rule and not the exception for the boys to say +their prayers.</p> +<p><i>Fasting</i>. People understand feasts and are ready +enough to keep them, but fasting is quite another matter. +Feasts should be kept, and the more the great festivals are +recognized the better. Fasting, however, is quite as +necessary. Appointed times in which to remember more +particularly Christ’s suffering for us, to deny ourselves +lawful pleasures, and to make us think more of our sins and how +to conquer them. They keep us from getting careless, and +letting our religion become a sort of Sunday clothes, to be put +on at certain times, but to have no real effect upon our daily +life.</p> +<p>One thing more. God has given you brains and the power +to use them. You are bound then to try and learn about God, +and the duty you owe to Him. Every year you ought to +advance in knowledge, and not be content with the little you were +taught as a child. Read your Bible—think it out for +yourself—pray for understanding, and study such books as +will help you to a better knowledge of it.</p> +<h2><!-- page 20--><a name="page20"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +20</span>COURAGE.</h2> +<p>Boys and men are great cowards. There is hardly any +accusation that an Englishman or boy resents so much as to be +called a coward. Still I venture to make the accusation, +and will try and make good my words. I do not mean that you +are cowards in the sense of being afraid to attempt any act of +daring. You have pluck enough to tackle a fellow half as +big again as yourself, pluck enough to endure pain without a +word, pluck enough to risk your life to save another, but too +often you have not pluck enough to say no, or to brave a +laugh. That is what I mean by saying that men and boys are +cowards. You will let the worst fellow of the lot be the +leader and give the tone to conversation because you have not the +pluck to say boldly that it is wrong, and that you will not join +in it. This want of moral courage makes a lad give up +little by little his hold on what is right. Sunday school, +Church-going, prayers given up because Jem chaffs so about +them. If he chooses to neglect them that is his look +out. You have as much right to your <!-- page 21--><a +name="page21"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 21</span>opinion as he +has to his. Why should you let him show more courage in +doing wrong than you in doing right. Are you afraid of +him? No. Well then, stick to your duty.</p> +<p>I said just now that going to work throws you in with a +different set of companions. Here, specially, comes the +test of your courage. Are you going to follow bad leaders, +or have you the courage of your own opinions. There is one +particular subject where courage is most needed, and where it +most often fails. A young lad naturally wants to seem to be +manly—has a sort of feeling that he would like to show that +he is not just a little boy and bound to do as he is told. +He is tempted to show his manliness by neglect of home commands, +rough and rude manners, bad language and bad talk. I have +remarked before how home obedience and true manliness go +together; here I want to speak more particularly about bad +language and bad talking, and the evil it leads to. S. Paul +speaks about it very plainly when he says, speaking of the things +that should not be named amongst Christians, “neither +filthiness nor foolish talking nor jesting, which are not +convenient.” Now, boys, all indecent words and +conversations are <!-- page 22--><a name="page22"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 22</span>wrong—they are sinful, unmanly, +degrading. I know you cannot help hearing much that is +wrong. Shame, be it said, to the men of England—yes, +men who talk of advancement and freedom, men who are fathers of +families, that they too often make or allow the talk of the +workshop to be such that no boy can work there without hearing +words and jokes which are not fit, I do not say for Christians to +hear, but not fit to be spoken. Hearing words of evil you +often cannot help. To join in them you can and must refuse, +and unless you do so refuse you are a coward and false to your +profession. I do not speak here of actual deeds of +sin—no one can do or join in an impure deed without knowing +that he is sinning, but many think that there is no great harm in +listening to and laughing at what others say. Be warned in +time, it is but a very little step from laughing at to joining in +bad conversation, and a very small step from words to +action. The same want of courage that joins in the laugh +will make it difficult to say no when tempted further. +Never, with companions of your own sex, and still more with those +of the opposite sex, let any corrupt communications proceed out +of your mouth. If it is necessary for you to speak upon +such subjects <!-- page 23--><a name="page23"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 23</span>ask advice of those older than +yourself, and not of companions of your own age. You know +lads that you love your mother and care for your sisters. +You would be furious if anyone spoke to or of them as you +sometimes hear women spoken of. What would be an insult to +them is an insult to any woman. Stand up for the honour and +respect due to others as you would for your own mother or +sister. You would not talk like that before your +mother. Make it a rule never to do or say anything that you +would be ashamed to say in her presence, or in the presence of +anyone you respect. Courage is what you want here and +plenty of it, but if you will only make a stand for the right, +strength, not your own, will be given you. I can tell you +of one who did so try and do the same. Bishop Pattison, who +died some years ago, when he was fearlessly doing his duty in the +islands of the Pacific, was, once a boy, face to face with this +difficulty. He was in the cricket eleven of his +school—a good player and very fond of the game. It +had become the custom at cricket suppers for bad talk to be +indulged in. Pattison one evening rose up at the table and +said, “If this conversation is to be allowed I must leave +the eleven. I cannot <!-- page 24--><a +name="page24"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 24</span>share in this +conversation—if you determine to continue it I shall have +no choice but to go.” They did not want to lose him, +and the foul conversation was stopped.</p> +<h2><!-- page 25--><a name="page25"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +25</span>MONEY.</h2> +<p>The love of money is the root of all evil. Nevertheless, +money in a civilized country is a necessity. How to make it +is one of the great questions, and how to spend it aright is one +of the great difficulties.</p> +<p>Money is power. It is power, if we use it aright, it +overpowers us if we use it badly or even carelessly. It is +a great mistake to want to make your money too quickly, and a +still greater mistake to think that you are likely to do +so. Money that is the result of honest labour will, if +rightly used, be a blessing to you and yours.</p> +<p>1st. How to make it. By honest labour, honestly +done. You have chosen your trade or occupation—let +your money be honestly earned therein, and look more to the +quality of your work than to the quantity of your money. +You have a right when you have learnt your trade to a fair +day’s wage for a fair day’s work, but be sure that +the word fair governs both the work and the wage—the fair +work must be done before the fair wage can be rightly +claimed. There is far too much scamping <!-- page 26--><a +name="page26"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 26</span>work in the +present day, working simply for money and not for any interest in +the work itself. Money should not be a man’s test of +success, but the perfectness of his work. Men used once to +work for love of their art, and so long as the picture was +painted or the sculpture wrought, they cared little for the money +they were to gain by it, or the hardship of their lives, but now +men paint for what the public will pay for, and write and work +not from their hearts but for their pockets. And with high +and low, not success but money is the moving power—not how +can I can make it more perfect, but what can I get for it. +A man who will leave a piece of work, or a clerk who will leave a +few minutes writing only because the clock has struck the hour, +is little better than a money-making machine. Work done in +such a spirit did not give us men like Wren or Stephenson. +Read their lives and you will see what I mean. If your work +is thoroughly and honestly done, you have a right to your own +price for it, if you can find a purchaser. You have a right +to sell your labour at your own price, but the master has an +equal right to buy or to refuse. Combinations and unions of +working men are perfectly right, if they unite for their own <!-- +page 27--><a name="page27"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +27</span>advantage, and for protection against oppression, and +strikes may, though in very rare cases, be a painful +necessity. It must be borne in mind that there can be no +fixed standard of wages. Wages must vary with the state of +the markets. Men must be ready to accept lower wages when +trade is dull, they must bear their share of the depression as +well as the masters, and the true principle is for men and +masters, or if you like the expression better, capital and labour +to go hand in hand. The success or ruin of the one is the +success or ruin of the other. There are of course cases of +grasping masters who will endeavour to grind their workmen, and +there are cases of worthless and obstinate workmen, who look only +to themselves and the present moment, but both ought to be and +might be very rare exceptions, if the good and true men on both +sides would come to the front.</p> +<p>2nd. How to spend the money. Remember that you are +God’s steward, and will have to account for the use of this +bounty. Give your tithe to God first. The tenth part +of your profits, whether reckoned weekly or yearly, should be +given to God in some way or other, and those who do it will find +themselves blessed in earthly things, whilst they are <!-- page +28--><a name="page28"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +28</span>laying up a treasure in heaven. God’s tithe +paid, how is the rest of your income to be spent? 1st. +Necessary expenses, <i>i.e.</i>, food, clothing, &c. +2nd. Useful expenditure, <i>i.e.</i>, learning, books, +&c. 3rd. Recreation and minor luxuries.</p> +<p>Pay your way as you go, and never run into debt. Debt is +next door neighbour to theft. Two things I would impress +upon you, first, that where the need is you should repay your +parents care by helping them. England is disgraced by the +number of old people who are left to the care of the parish by +children who ought to be thankful to be allowed to support +them. Secondly, that it is your duty to make provision for +the future, so that the workhouse may not even enter into your +calculations, as a possible refuge in old age for you and +yours. This can be done by regular savings, even though +very small, and by insuring your life. Post office and +other savings’ banks, will help you in the former, and +various insurance offices offer special facilities by weekly and +monthly payments for the latter.</p> +<h2><!-- page 29--><a name="page29"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +29</span>AMUSEMENTS.</h2> +<p>Recreation is as necessary as work. What kind is to be +sought after, and what avoided? For health’s sake, if +for nothing else, boys should have some kind of out-door +amusements. A boy has an easy choice of good and healthy +recreation, and therefore has no excuse for taking up with bad +objects. Cricket, Rowing, Volunteering, and such-like, are +healthy, and easily obtainable recreations. Gambling, +drinking, loitering, are not to be thought of for a moment, they +are the curse of the lazy and weak-minded. Theatres are +very good if you keep out of the cheap and nasty ones. +Music halls are much better avoided. I do not say that it +is necessarily wrong to go there, or that you are certain to come +to harm if you frequent them, but there is more chance of +temptation, and an inferior entertainment for your money. +Well acted plays may open out your mind, but the silliness of the +music hall entertainment will only react upon you. You can +tell a music hall frequenter, not by the words of his mouth so +much as by the shuffle of his feet: his highest <!-- page 30--><a +name="page30"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 30</span>ambition +seems to be to dance the double shuffle, and perhaps sing a few +verses of some jingling rhyme. Out-door recreation is not +so easily attainable, in the winter, as the time at your disposal +is so short. In-door amusements must, to a great extent, +take their place. The gymnasium is a good institution; +chess is a game worth learning, and very fascinating to some +minds; cards are good as long as gambling is avoided, and many +other games readily suggest themselves to one’s mind.</p> +<p>Reading will be more to the liking of many. Read books +which are worth reading, not the penny trash which shops offer to +the boys of England. I should hope that the boys of England +have sufficient brains to care for something a little above the +penny dreadfuls, otherwise it is a bad look out for the future +men of England. Independently of libraries you can now get +books, by good writers, as cheap as sixpence—Walter Scott, +Fennimore Cooper, Maryatt, Dickens, &c. A word about +books. Of course, in books by writers such as I have +mentioned you will find many things spoken of which are wrong and +ought not to be. They must write so if stories are to be +written of life as we find it, and mere goody-goody books, which +avoid all mention <!-- page 31--><a name="page31"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 31</span>of such things, are unnatural, and do +not give true pictures of life. The harm of too many cheap +publications, and not only the cheap ones, is, that in speaking +of these things they make them appear unavoidable, and even +worthy of praise. Good writers show how revolting crime and +evil is, how they can be overcome and resisted, and how truth and +honesty must prevail in the end. The difference between +good books and plays and bad ones is not so much the subjects +they write about as the way in which they speak of them. +Some of the cheap literature is only foolish, some is distinctly +wicked, but both are better avoided, and your time and money +spent on worthier objects. Avoid bad company, and take care +that your recreations are manly and honest.</p> +<h2><!-- page 32--><a name="page32"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +32</span>HOME DUTIES.</h2> +<p>As soon as you begin to bear your share in the expenses of +home, you will naturally look to have your word in the +arrangements thereof. From the time that you begin to earn +your own living, until the time that you make a home for +yourself, there will be certain home duties which you have no +right to neglect.</p> +<p>First of all, you must be ready to bear your fair share in the +expenses of the home. When first you go to work, you will +probably be expected to bring home all your money, and have a +certain sum given to you for pocket money. As you grow +older, you will agree to pay a certain sum for your board and +lodging, and keep the rest for yourself. Let your payments +be such as will do a little more than actually cover the expense +of what you have. Give a thought to the general comfort of +the home, and in time of need when perhaps your father’s +work is slack, be ready to increase your help, even though it may +decrease your own personal comfort.</p> +<p>Secondly, you must acknowledge the authority <!-- page 33--><a +name="page33"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 33</span>of the head +of the house, and respect his wishes as to home arrangements, +time for being in at night, &c.</p> +<p>Thirdly. Recognise your responsibilities to your +brothers and sisters. If you are the eldest son you are +bound to be the example, and if need be the protector of the +others, and whether elder or not you have still your duties and +responsibilities. A good brother is a great help to a +sister, and her brother’s good opinion will be something +which she will be very sorry to forfeit through any fault of +hers. For your sisters’ sake specially you are bound +to be careful that your companions whom you may bring home with +you should not be such as would not be fit company for +them. Your duties to your parents I have already mentioned, +and the older you grow the more thoroughly you should carry them +out, so that, as you grow out of mere boyhood, you may become +more and more the companion and friend of your father, and more +and more the comfort and support of your mother. It is a +great thing in time of trouble to have one son to whom they can +look without fear of his help failing them. It is far too +common to see young fellows, so soon as they can earn enough <!-- +page 34--><a name="page34"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +34</span>to support themselves, leaving home and going into +lodgings because they are freer and more comfortable, and leaving +their parents to struggle on with the youngsters. It is a +selfish and ungrateful course, and therefore sure to be without a +blessing from God. I am talking now of those whose work +keeps them near home, and who only leave their home to escape its +duties, or as they would miscall them, its burdens. Many, +of course, must leave home. If work calls you elsewhere it +is another matter. It would be a very good thing in many +instances if young fellows would have the pluck to emigrate and +make their way in a new country. Englishmen are getting too +fond of stopping at home where the labour markets are +overstocked. Emigration is one of the best openings for a +young fellow if he makes up his mind to work, and does not expect +a fortune to fall into his lap because he has gone to a new +country to seek it.</p> +<h2><!-- page 35--><a name="page35"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +35</span>SELF-IMPROVEMENT.</h2> +<p>Boys generally leave school at about thirteen years of age, +but they make a very great mistake if they leave off learning at +that age. Time might be roughly divided off into four +parts—necessary work, work for others, self-improvement, +and recreation. A man’s education is never +completed. A man is never too old to learn. Whilst +you are a boy and lad you need to be taught; afterwards you can +to a great extent learn for yourself. You should never be +content to remain just where you are, you should endeavour to +make the most of your opportunities, and to advance in knowledge +and capability. You are taught in your catechism to +“do your duty in that state of life unto which it shall +please God to call you.” This does not mean that you +are not to try and better your position. Quite the +contrary; it means that while you are to go on contentedly in the +station and work which God has allotted to you, you are also to +try and use to the utmost all the opportunities and powers which +he has given. He has called you to your present position, +He may <!-- page 36--><a name="page36"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 36</span>be calling you to something +more. If he has given you the power and opportunity of +raising yourself, he meant you to use them. It is a false +humility and a false view of religion that encourages sloth under +the pretence of being contented with one’s humble +lot. There is God’s work—real every day work to +be done in worldly as well as in what seems to be more directly +spiritual work. One’s whole interest is not to be +centred on earthly things, neither are we to be so heavenly +minded as to neglect earthly duties, and the talents which God +has committed to our trust. It is your duty then to do your +utmost to improve your stock of knowledge. School has laid +the foundation, and you must work at the building. Your own +particular tastes or your work will suggest the subjects to which +you should first turn your attention. Develop the natural +powers you have, and advance steadily from one subject to +another. Set apart a certain portion of your spare time for +study and self-improvement. Remember also that you have +certain duties to your neighbours and your country, and that in +order to fulfil them you must understand your position as a man +and a citizen. Read the history both of your own country +and of <!-- page 37--><a name="page37"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 37</span>other lands. Read your +paper. Study the questions of the day, both at home and +abroad, and learn to form your own opinion concerning them. +Learn to think for yourself, and not take as gospel all that you +read in your favourite paper. Look at both sides of a +question and make up your own mind. Comparatively few +people think for themselves, and for that reason men are so often +carried away by popular leaders, and obstinately follow opinions, +the truth of which they have never tested, and the consequences +of which they have never considered. There are many +opportunities in classes and lectures for men to gain +information, but they will be of little real use unless men will +think for themselves, and work out the subjects instead of taking +their opinions ready made. Study, not simply listen. +Study both secular and religious subjects. You may be sure +that there can be no advance in real self-improvement unless it +is well balanced. Religious knowledge should go hand in +hand with secular knowledge. Christ should be our great +example in this as in all else, and He “increased in wisdom +and stature, and in favour with God and men.”</p> +<h2><!-- page 38--><a name="page38"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +38</span>CHUMS.</h2> +<p>Birds of a feather flock together. A man is known by his +friends. It is of great importance therefore that your +friends should be such as will show that you yourself are of the +right sort. A boy, unless he is a particularly disagreeable +one, will probably have a fair number of friends, that is to say, +of fellows that he knows and associates with, but above and +beyond these he will probably have some one particular chum, one +who shares in all his plans, one with whom to talk over all his +schemes, one often with whom to join in some piece of +mischief. Chums to do one another much good should be about +the same age. There may be a friendship between an elder +and a younger boy, or between a boy and a man, but they will not +be exactly chums. A friendship of this sort is very useful +if the elder is one who will lead aright, but if the elder is the +weaker of the two, or still more if the elder is viciously +inclined, such an acquaintance is one of the worst possible +things for a lad. A young boy, hanging on to an elder one, +<!-- page 39--><a name="page39"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +39</span>learning all his bad habits, is only too likely to prove +an apt pupil, and come utterly to grief. Remember no one is +worthy of the name of friend who would ever counsel you to do +anything wrong, or who would not give you a word in season when +he found you were going on a wrong tack. A chum of +one’s own age is quite a different article. Very +often they are not lads of the same dispositions and tastes, and +are drawn to one another by these very differences. It not +unfrequently happens that a bright active lad will chum with a +very quiet meditative one. The one doing the thinking and +the other the acting. Such friendships will last on +sometimes through life, but generally well through boyhood. +Very often the last act of chumship is the acting as best man at +the friend’s wedding. Such friendships will work +great good so long as they are on the give and take principle, +and that nothing is given or taken of the bad qualities which may +be in each. A boy without a chum is very likely to grow +either conceited or selfish, or both. A good-natured chum +is a very useful check. He does not mind chaffing him out +of any little absurdities, and rubbing against one another they +manage to knock off many odd corners and polish <!-- page 40--><a +name="page40"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 40</span>up one +another. Any chumship in evil is to be avoided. If a +chum, however much he may be liked, wants you to go in for a +partnership in evil he must be given up. I don’t say +that you can give up caring for him, but he must be made to see +clearly that he must make his choice between the evil doing and +you—that he cannot be chums with both. Chums should +have strict honour between themselves, and always be ready to +stand up for one another. A good chum prevents one becoming +a prig, and there is nothing short of actual vice which is so +hateful in a boy as priggishness. There is as much +difference between a prig and a right-minded boy as between chalk +and cheese. A right-minded boy goes on his way trying to do +right and live honestly and purely, because it is right and +honourable, and because deep in his own heart he knows he has +promised Jesus Christ that he will live a godly life. A +prig is also doing right and living purely and honestly, but is +all the time trying to make other people see it, and not doing it +simply because it is right. Hence he has not half the +strength when real temptation comes, because he has always been +looking at the outside effect of his life, instead of <!-- page +41--><a name="page41"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +41</span>looking inward, to see if he is true to his +promise. Avoid priggishness, but do not be afraid of being +called a prig when it is only the taunt by which someone hopes to +shame you into doing that which you know in your heart is +wrong.</p> +<h2><!-- page 42--><a name="page42"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +42</span>COURTSHIP.</h2> +<p>There comes a time when a young man begins seriously to look +forward to settling in life and having a home of his own. +As a boy he may have had his likings among the girl companions +with whom he was acquainted, but now it becomes a totally +different question, and his intercourse with young women assumes +the position of courtship.</p> +<p>It is only natural and right that man should look where God +intended him to look for a help-meet and companion, but all +depends upon the way in which he does it. There is no need +to be in a hurry. Better to wait and make quite sure. +As a general rule I should say that twenty-five was quite young +enough for a man to marry, but still that must entirely depend +upon circumstances.</p> +<p>Before I venture to suggest a few thoughts concerning +courtship and the choice of a wife, I should like to make a few +remarks upon the manner in which women ought to be treated by +men. It is too much the custom for men to look upon women +as beings the object of whose creation was to be <!-- page +43--><a name="page43"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +43</span>pleasant companions for them before marriage and useful +servants after marriage. Hence there is a very great want +of respect and honourable treatment. A young fellow, before +he steadies down as the expression is, does not think there is +anything mean or dishonourable in his leading a girl on, and +without any intention of ruining her, allowing her to lower +herself by her conversation and manners. He does not +consider the harm that he is doing to the girl, how it may be the +first step to ruin. He means no harm, only just amusing +himself with her. Is it not mean, however, simply for his +own pleasure to treat a woman as if she were merely a plaything, +instead of a being as valuable in God’s sight as himself, +and equally with him an object of God’s love and +care. No words suffice to denounce the wickedness and +meanness of the coward, who, taking advantage of a girl’s +real though misguided love for him, will seduce her into sin and +then leave her to bear the punishment and disgrace. No +words can describe the heartless wickedness which will rob a +woman of that which is her greatest treasure and ornament, and +bring upon her a sorrow which the grave alone can end. He +may escape punishment here. He may even gain a <!-- page +44--><a name="page44"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 44</span>sort +of reputation as one who can always gain the attention of women, +but he will only receive the greater punishment from the judge +and avenger of all. One word more before I close these +remarks, which I would have gladly omitted from these papers, but +truth demands them.</p> +<p>Some men seem to think that the sin and responsibility is very +slight if it be committed with a woman who trades upon her +sin. Undoubtedly it is not so cowardly as the ruin of a +pure and innocent woman, but who can tell that you may not have +met with that woman at the turning point in her life, when but +for you she might have repented? and at the very least you have +added to the weight of her sin. Once she had been pure, God +alone knows her history, but who of the many who have taken +advantage of her misery and helped to chain her to her life of +sin will be held guiltless by Him? Great, fearful is her +guilt, but God alone knows how she may long to be free. Far +greater is their guilt who for their own selfish enjoyment do not +hesitate to plunge deeper into ruin a soul for whom Christ +died. If men treated all women honourably—all, not +simply their relations and friends,—there would not be +those who make their <!-- page 45--><a name="page45"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 45</span>living by sin. Such a state of +things it may be hopeless to expect, so long as cowards are to be +found amongst men, but it is not too much to expect from +honourable men and Christians that they should treat all women +with such respect, that, as far as lies in their power, the +stigma of meanness and cowardice should not rest upon the men of +this land. Treat them with respect, not only in your +intercourse with them, but in your conversation about them, and +your thoughts concerning them.</p> +<p>But to turn to a pleasanter subject, the honourable courtship +of man and maiden. Certain things should be taken into +consideration in making your choice. First, that the object +of your choice should be one whom you can thoroughly love and +entirely trust. Secondly, that she should be one whom you +feel would be a real help in life. Thirdly, that she should +be of the same religion as yourself (otherwise difficulties in +after life are sure to arise) and a really religious woman. +And Fourthly, that she should be not merely, or even necessarily, +a bright and pretty companion, but should have such qualities as +are necessary for a good wife and mother—one who can manage +a home as well as help to pass an hour or so pleasantly.</p> +<p><!-- page 46--><a name="page46"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +46</span>Your courtship should be thoroughly open and +above-board. The parents consent should first be obtained, +and remember that you are bound to respect their wishes. Be +careful also that she shall never in any way be compromised by +your conduct. I say no more because I have assumed at the +beginning that your courtship is honourable, that you love the +girl of your choice, and that as you would shield her from all +injury from others, so she will be safe under your +protection. Take no ordinary standard as the rule of your +courtship, but determine from the very beginning that it shall be +so conducted, that when as man and wife you look back upon it, it +may be with feelings free from any taint of sorrow or shame; that +when you stand before God to be married it may be as honest man +and maiden, seeking for God’s full blessing upon your +married life, as it has rested upon your unmarried days. +One thing I would say in conclusion, and I mention it last as +being the most important, let your choice of a wife be a subject +of earnest prayer to God, and when your choice has been made, and +your love pledged one to another, let it be a subject of mutual +prayer that each may help the other to live to the glory of God, +in the station of life in which he sees fit to place you.</p> +<h2><!-- page 47--><a name="page47"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +47</span>HUSBANDS.</h2> +<p>The headship of a family carries with it heavy +responsibilities. We may shrink from them and avoid them, +but still they remain. A good husband and a good father +makes a happy home and honest children. Drunkenness is too +often the destruction of home. If the head of the family +can rule himself in this as in other matters then he may +reasonably hope for a happy and comfortable home, but if drink is +allowed to take the place of wife or children, drink will rule +the household and swallow up its peace and prosperity. +Nevertheless, drunkenness is not by any means the only fault or +indeed the beginning of the break up of a home. It is very +often the result of a home made miserable by other and easily +avoided faults. Many I suppose start their married life +with the full intention of realising their ideas of a happy +home. The picture is very pleasant, the reality is too +often quite the reverse. Why? Very often because of a +want of mutual forbearance. It takes some little time +really to know one another, and unless there is a spirit of <!-- +page 48--><a name="page48"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +48</span>mutual forbearance the little differences will become +great quarrels. The husband is to rule, but he is not to be +a tyrant. The wife is not bound to give a blind obedience +to all his commands, and the husband is bound to respect his +wife’s wishes. It ought to be a rule that in matters +of importance, where either feels it to be a question of duty, +that if they cannot agree neither should endeavour to force the +other to act against their conscience.</p> +<p>My first piece of practical advice to husbands would be to +have a proper understanding about money matters, and to be +liberal therein. Give your wife a regular sum per week, and +let it be clearly arranged what expenses she is responsible +for.</p> +<p>Secondly, do not have any friends that you cannot or do not +care to bring to your home, and let no one come between you and +your wife, or draw you away to enjoy yourself apart from her.</p> +<p>Thirdly, do your church-going together as far as you can, and +when that is impossible arrange one with the other, so that each +may be able to go at some time every Sunday. Above all keep +one another up to your regular Communions, for there is little +blessing on the married union that is not blessed with a higher +communion.</p> +<p><!-- page 49--><a name="page49"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +49</span>Fourthly. When you have children train them +yourself, specially the boys, who will gain far more good from +father than from anyone else. It is too much the custom to +leave all the religious training to mother or to school. +Take your children to Church with you instead of seeing that they +are sent. Come is a much better word of instruction than +go.</p> +<p>A few words in conclusion as to the general duties of a man, +be he married or single. You have no right to shirk your +duties as a man to your home, as a Christian to your Church, or +as a citizen to your country. The support and training of +your family is your first duty, and nothing may rightly come in +the way of that, but the fulfilling of that need not prevent your +carrying out your other duties. You are a Christian, you +receive spiritual benefits from your connection with the Church, +you are bound then to make some return. Your prayers, your +alms, and your active work, according to your means and +opportunities, ought to be available for the work of the +Church. There ought not to be any drones in the +Church’s hive, but each member should bear his share of the +burdens, as well as partake of the blessings. There is work +for everyone that is ready to help.</p> +<p><!-- page 50--><a name="page50"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +50</span>You have still your duty to your country. Your own +personal influence may not be great, but you are nevertheless +bound to use it on the side which you believe to be right. +Public opinion is made up by the agreement of many, and the +course of the nation is guided eventually by the votes of the +people. You have your share in the responsibility of all +that is done, and are therefore bound to endeavour to understand +the questions of the day, and to act upon the conclusions you may +form. No man has a right to shirk any of the +responsibilities of his position, and a true man will endeavour +to serve God and his fellow-men to the best of his +ability—to do as much good as he can in the little time +allotted to him, and to leave the reward of his labours in the +hands of Him for whose sake and after whose example he has +endeavoured to spend his life.</p> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BOYS***</p> +<pre> + + +***** This file should be named 23230-h.htm or 23230-h.zip****** + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/3/2/3/23230 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Boys + their Work and Influence + + +Author: Anonymous + + + +Release Date: October 28, 2007 [eBook #23230] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BOYS*** + + + + +Transcribed from the Skeffington & Son tenth edition by David Price, +email ccx074@pglaf.org + + + + + +BOYS: +THEIR WORK AND INFLUENCE. + + +_Tenth Edition_. + +LONDON: +SKEFFINGTON & SON, PICCADILLY, W. +PUBLISHERS TO H.M. THE QUEEN AND TO H.R.H. THE PRINCE OF WALES. + +_By the same Author_, 9_d._, _elegant cloth_, +10_th_ _Edition_. + + + + +GIRLS: +THEIR WORK AND INFLUENCE. + + +NEW BOOK by the same Author. 3rd Edition. Elegant cloth, price 1s. 6d., +by post 1s. 8d. + +HE THAT SERVETH: Counsel and Help for Workers; being Short Readings, +etc., specially, but not solely, adapted for Domestic and other Servants, +etc., Including most of the CHURCH SEASONS; on various DUTIES, FAULTS, +TEMPTATIONS, etc.; CONFIRMATION, HOLY COMMUNION, etc. The Publishers +believe this little book will be most useful in meeting a very felt want. + + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +The following papers were written at the request of one who had read the +somewhat similar papers addressed to girls. The object aimed at in both +books has been to try and help Boys and Girls of the so-called working +classes to recognize their duties to God and their neighbour, and to use +on the side of right the powers and opportunities which God has given +them. + +It seems to the author that advice given to the so-called lower orders, +often partakes too much of patronage, and too little of the brotherhood, +that should be a sign of Christians. "Do as you are told and be +thankful," is too much the tone of the advice, instead of explaining +duties, pointing out opportunities, and recognizing them as +fellow-labourers in the great work. + +In God's household everyone has his place assigned to him by the master, +some to govern, and some to serve, but still all are fellow-servants of +that one Master, and brethren in Christ. + + + + +BOYS. + + +What a curious fellow a boy is. I wonder if boys ever think about +themselves. A young monkey is full of mischief, a young puppy is full of +play, a young kitten is always ready for fun, but a boy seems to combine +the qualities of all three, and to have a stock of his own to jumble up +with them. A boy has so many sides, not only an outside and an inside; +he is a many sided being. See him at one time and you would hardly +suppose him to be the same creature that you had seen a little while +before. Now he is a bright nice spoken lad, in a few moments he is a +bullying tyrant, now he is courteously answering those who speak to him, +now words come from his lips that shock the hearer. Now he would scorn +to have his word doubted by a comrade, now he does not hesitate to lie to +escape punishment. Now fearless, now a coward, now full of spirits, now +in the depths of woe--sunshine or joy, wind and calm, silence and tumult, +all seem to have their place, and to make up that incomprehensible and +yet delightful animal a boy. + +Now boys, I want you to think of yourselves--not to think how good or how +bad you are--what fine fellows you are, and what important persons, but +what you are capable of becoming. You will not remain boys always--you +are now, in the midst of all your oddities, forming your character, and +shaping your future course, drawing out of the midst of all your +contradictions the character that will make you honest God-fearing men, +like in your degree to the perfect pattern of manhood which God has set +before us in Christ--or you are letting yourselves be moulded into the +selfish sensual being, which too often degrades the name of man. + +Thinking, I know, is not much in your line at present, but you will +perhaps spare me a few minutes, and give me a little of your attention +while I try to point out to you the way in which you may, if you will, +turn your powers to account, and avoid the dangers which have been the +shipwreck of many a lad's bright prospects. + + + + +HOME AND SCHOOL + + +I shall take it for granted that you care for your parents and home, or +at any rate that you would like to have a comfortable home. Well, then, +make it so yourself. You can do a great deal towards it. Honour and +obedience is your first duty towards your parents. There is nothing +manly in disobedience. Honour and obey, readily and cheerfully. Not +simply obedient to father because he might thrash you; and disobedient to +mother because she cannot compel you. No, the truest honour in a boy is +when mother can thoroughly trust him--trust him to obey her because she +is mother. + +Brothers and sisters are often a trouble. "How those children do nag?" +"Never can leave those boys together." "He's sure to teaze her if I +leave them alone." Don't be a bully either to your brothers or sisters. +Don't be selfish and claim all you can for yourself. Share and share +alike should be the rule, and gentleness towards the girls and little +ones. + +School will help to take the nonsense out of you; you cannot have it all +your own way there. Boys will be boys, is a very common expression, and +it would be very funny indeed if boys did not turn out to be boys, but +that is no reason that boys should be rude or cruel, and in fact "little +cubs." Quarrels there will be sometimes--very often for no real reason, +sometimes for a good cause. If you have one fight it out then and there, +and bear no malice afterwards. I would rather see a fair fight and have +done with it, than keeping up a nasty quarrel, and trying to spite one +another in little mean ways. There is too often a want of real honour +amongst boys. Telling tales of one another seems to be the fashion, and +the favourite way of paying off old scores. There are of course times +when a boy must speak out against wrong, even at the risk of being +counted a sneak, but, as a rule, boys who delight in telling tales, and +who have not the sense of honour to stick by one another are a very poor +lot. + +Do your school work thoroughly. Idleness is not only wrong but foolish. +There is a time for work and a time for play. Learn as much as you can +and learn thoroughly if you want to be of any use in after life. A boy's +religion is not a thing that shows very much on the surface, or that he +is very likely to talk much about, but it must be in him if he is any +worth. + +Boys and girls alike should learn from their mother to say their prayers +night and morning, and when they become too old, or mother too busy for +them to say them at her knee, they should never omit to say them by +themselves. I heard the other day of a rough labouring man, who on his +death bed sent for the priest of his parish. He said he had never been +inside a Church since he had been a man. He had done his work honestly, +and lived steadily, but had altogether got out of the way of going to +Church. There was one thing, however, that he had always done. Long +years ago, as a lad, he had promised his mother never to get up in the +morning or go to bed at night without saying his prayers. This promise +he had kept faithfully. Night and morning that rough strong man had +knelt and said the same prayers which he had first learnt at his mother's +knees. Those prayers had been heard and had brought their blessing to +him. Church going on Sunday is as important as daily prayers. A Sunday +morning should never be allowed to pass without seeing you at Church. Lie +a bed on Sunday morning is the devil's version of the fourth commandment. +There is plenty of time on Sunday for Church as well as for walks and +talks. Sunday is not to be a miserable day, or all Church and prayers, +but God first and then ourselves. Sunday school you will most likely be +sent to as long as you go to day school, and you will be wise not to give +it up as soon as you are what you would call your own master. + +Both home and school ought to have their pleasures as well as their work. +Do your work thoroughly, and do your pleasures thoroughly also. Share +your pleasures with the others, and with father and mother. You can give +much pleasure to father and mother, as well as to yourselves, if you try. + +Love God and love your home--be obedient, truthful, and plucky--standing +up for the right, and not ashamed to refuse to join in the wrong; and +your home and school days will train you well for your work in life. + + + + +GOING TO WORK + + +What are you going to be? is a question that has to be settled very early +in life--earlier amongst the so-called working classes than any other. It +must be settled at about thirteen years old. Fortunately for you it is +not whether you shall do anything for your living or not, but in what way +you shall earn your living. Some people seem to look upon work as if it +were a degrading thing, and only to be used until they can afford to live +without it. Life is not worth calling life that is not downright honest +work, and a man is hardly a man at all who is not a working man--working +either with his hands or his brain, or both. + +In determining what your calling in life shall be you must consider two +things, 1st. Whether the calling you wish to follow is an honest and +lawful one. 2nd. Whether you are fitted for it. + +If you can say yes to both these questions, then, provided your parents +approve, follow out your natural inclination. A lad is far more likely +to succeed in life if his heart is in his work, than if he has to work +against the grain. On the other hand, you will never deserve success if +you go against your parents' wishes. If they see reasons against the +particular calling you wish for, (and perhaps are really fitted for), +your duty is to follow their wishes, and bide your time. If your +inclinations really point to that to which God calls you, He will show +you the right way to it in His time, and your obedience to your parents +will not have been wasted time. + +There are certain occupations which are not honourable, but by which men +gain a living, which are not to be considered for a moment, as _e.g._, +gambling and betting. There are certain for which you would not be +fitted by education or ability. Whatever calling you choose seek God and +His righteousness first, _i.e._, choose that which will make you fit for +the next world as well as that which will make you comfortable here. +Honest work thoroughly done here will be no bad passport for another +world. When you have once chosen your calling stick to it, carry it out +thoroughly, and with a determination to get on. Never be in a hurry to +change, and never do so without a good reason. Never rest satisfied that +you have done enough, or think that you cannot do better. It is told of +a celebrated sculptor, that he said, "I shall fail in my next effort, for +I am satisfied with this." + +Aim high and do your best. Every shop-boy may not become a Lord Mayor, +but every one who aims at getting to the top of the tree, and goes +steadily at it, will find himself at last a good way from the ground. + +Now supposing you have made your choice and started in work you will find +a great difference between this and school life. You will mix with elder +people and a different set; you will have more freedom, and possibly a +little more money. + +Don't think you are a man all at once, because you are nothing of the +sort, and nothing makes a lad look more ridiculous than to see him trying +to be a man before his time. You know the story of the toad and the ox. + +You have much to learn yet. Stick to classes and learn all that you can. +Sunday classes as well as night classes. There is nothing manly in +giving up religious duties; quite the contrary, it is cowardly. Do your +work honestly and thoroughly, even though it be the custom to do +otherwise. Boys are pretty sure to have some hobby of their own, and a +very good thing too. A boy is all the better for a hobby, even if he +takes it up and drops it again. It is a good thing for a lad to have +some private interest of his own. If therefore your hobby is not +anything harmful follow it out with a will. + + + + +RELIGION. + + +I had some doubts about the heading of this chapter: Religion ought not +to be a separate thing from daily life, and, therefore, all remarks on +the subject ought to come under one or other of the chapters which treat +of the different duties of life. There are, however, certain definite +religious duties which may perhaps be spoken of more clearly in a +separate chapter. I would ask you always to bear in mind that no +religious duties are of much value that are not a regular part of our +daily life, and that there is no line to be drawn between natural and +religious duties. "Whether, therefore, ye eat or drink, or whatsoever ye +do, do all to the Glory of God." + +_Prayer_, private and public. What I have said in a former paper holds +good now. No boy can safely neglect his morning and evening prayers and +his public worship on Sundays. Prayer should include daily +self-examination: no one can get on in the world unless he looks after +his own affairs, and reckons from time to time how he stands. So with +our daily life--we should try it day by day, and see if we are keeping +straight. Each night we should look back over the day, see what has been +wrong, what imperfect--seek pardon for the wrong, and determine, by God's +help, to amend it. + +_Public Worship_ once a Sunday, _i.e._ in the morning, is the duty of +every Christian: whether we go oftener is a matter of choice, but less we +cannot do without failing in our duty. Attendance at the full morning +service, _i.e._ the celebration of the Holy Communion, is the prayer-book +rule, whether we observe it or not. + +_Regular Communion_ is absolutely necessary. How frequently it is +advisable to come must depend upon circumstances, but speaking generally +I should say, in the words of one whose opinion carries great weight, +that "monthly Communions are the very fewest which anyone seeking to +serve God devoutly can make." + +I have taken it for granted that you have been confirmed, which will +probably have taken place about the time of leaving school. Confirmation +ought to make a marked change in your life. Firstly, because you are +more directly responsible for yourself, and, secondly, because it brings +you into closer relation, for a time at least, with your clergyman. +Before your first communion the prayer book speaks to you very distinctly +about personal advice and intercourse with your parish priest. Neither +your first or any subsequent communions are to be made unless you are +satisfied as to your own fitness to come to it. If you are in doubt you +are advised to go to God's minister, lay before him those sins that make +you afraid or doubtful of coming, and seek his advice. This is not +pleasant, but it is useful. Many people speak against it, but it is +Christ's appointed way. If you feel that this will help you, go as often +as you need, and do not be stopped by any foolish remarks of people who +do not understand it, or by any thought of its being a weak and unmanly +thing to do. It requires courage, perseverance, and a true estimate of +oneself to do it, and these are not generally considered unmanly +qualities. Some of the best men, some of the bravest soldiers, have not +been ashamed of using this means of grace. Knights of old were +accustomed to confess before they went into battle. Read the life of +Henry V. of England. He was no milksop, or, as people would say now-a- +days, priest-ridden king, but he did not look upon it as an unmanly +thing. You are free to choose, or free to refuse it; only pray to be +guided aright by God's Holy Spirit to do that which shall be most to His +glory and your soul's good. + +_Almsgiving_. Whatever money you have of your own some portion--a tenth, +if possible,--should be given to God in some way or other. + +_Bringing others to God_. We must not be selfish in our religion--if God +has made known the truth to us we must do our best that others may share +it also. You can do much in a quiet way, not only by example: you can +get a word in where others have not a chance. Many a youngster would +gladly keep from wrong, and go on steadily, if he had only someone to +stand by him. It is not enough to be good, we must do good, and never +laugh at another for his religion. Many years ago a thorough change was +worked in a school by the courage of one little boy. He came fresh from +home, where he had been accustomed to say his prayers. He knelt down in +a school dormitory, as he had been used to do at home, by his bedside. +There was a sudden silence, the boys were astonished. Then some began to +bully and try and stop him; others stood up for him. But the battle was +won. The better minded boys saw what cowards they had been to give up +what they knew was right for fear of chaff--one by one they gradually +followed his example, and before that lad left school it was the rule and +not the exception for the boys to say their prayers. + +_Fasting_. People understand feasts and are ready enough to keep them, +but fasting is quite another matter. Feasts should be kept, and the more +the great festivals are recognized the better. Fasting, however, is +quite as necessary. Appointed times in which to remember more +particularly Christ's suffering for us, to deny ourselves lawful +pleasures, and to make us think more of our sins and how to conquer them. +They keep us from getting careless, and letting our religion become a +sort of Sunday clothes, to be put on at certain times, but to have no +real effect upon our daily life. + +One thing more. God has given you brains and the power to use them. You +are bound then to try and learn about God, and the duty you owe to Him. +Every year you ought to advance in knowledge, and not be content with the +little you were taught as a child. Read your Bible--think it out for +yourself--pray for understanding, and study such books as will help you +to a better knowledge of it. + + + + +COURAGE. + + +Boys and men are great cowards. There is hardly any accusation that an +Englishman or boy resents so much as to be called a coward. Still I +venture to make the accusation, and will try and make good my words. I +do not mean that you are cowards in the sense of being afraid to attempt +any act of daring. You have pluck enough to tackle a fellow half as big +again as yourself, pluck enough to endure pain without a word, pluck +enough to risk your life to save another, but too often you have not +pluck enough to say no, or to brave a laugh. That is what I mean by +saying that men and boys are cowards. You will let the worst fellow of +the lot be the leader and give the tone to conversation because you have +not the pluck to say boldly that it is wrong, and that you will not join +in it. This want of moral courage makes a lad give up little by little +his hold on what is right. Sunday school, Church-going, prayers given up +because Jem chaffs so about them. If he chooses to neglect them that is +his look out. You have as much right to your opinion as he has to his. +Why should you let him show more courage in doing wrong than you in doing +right. Are you afraid of him? No. Well then, stick to your duty. + +I said just now that going to work throws you in with a different set of +companions. Here, specially, comes the test of your courage. Are you +going to follow bad leaders, or have you the courage of your own +opinions. There is one particular subject where courage is most needed, +and where it most often fails. A young lad naturally wants to seem to be +manly--has a sort of feeling that he would like to show that he is not +just a little boy and bound to do as he is told. He is tempted to show +his manliness by neglect of home commands, rough and rude manners, bad +language and bad talk. I have remarked before how home obedience and +true manliness go together; here I want to speak more particularly about +bad language and bad talking, and the evil it leads to. S. Paul speaks +about it very plainly when he says, speaking of the things that should +not be named amongst Christians, "neither filthiness nor foolish talking +nor jesting, which are not convenient." Now, boys, all indecent words +and conversations are wrong--they are sinful, unmanly, degrading. I know +you cannot help hearing much that is wrong. Shame, be it said, to the +men of England--yes, men who talk of advancement and freedom, men who are +fathers of families, that they too often make or allow the talk of the +workshop to be such that no boy can work there without hearing words and +jokes which are not fit, I do not say for Christians to hear, but not fit +to be spoken. Hearing words of evil you often cannot help. To join in +them you can and must refuse, and unless you do so refuse you are a +coward and false to your profession. I do not speak here of actual deeds +of sin--no one can do or join in an impure deed without knowing that he +is sinning, but many think that there is no great harm in listening to +and laughing at what others say. Be warned in time, it is but a very +little step from laughing at to joining in bad conversation, and a very +small step from words to action. The same want of courage that joins in +the laugh will make it difficult to say no when tempted further. Never, +with companions of your own sex, and still more with those of the +opposite sex, let any corrupt communications proceed out of your mouth. +If it is necessary for you to speak upon such subjects ask advice of +those older than yourself, and not of companions of your own age. You +know lads that you love your mother and care for your sisters. You would +be furious if anyone spoke to or of them as you sometimes hear women +spoken of. What would be an insult to them is an insult to any woman. +Stand up for the honour and respect due to others as you would for your +own mother or sister. You would not talk like that before your mother. +Make it a rule never to do or say anything that you would be ashamed to +say in her presence, or in the presence of anyone you respect. Courage +is what you want here and plenty of it, but if you will only make a stand +for the right, strength, not your own, will be given you. I can tell you +of one who did so try and do the same. Bishop Pattison, who died some +years ago, when he was fearlessly doing his duty in the islands of the +Pacific, was, once a boy, face to face with this difficulty. He was in +the cricket eleven of his school--a good player and very fond of the +game. It had become the custom at cricket suppers for bad talk to be +indulged in. Pattison one evening rose up at the table and said, "If +this conversation is to be allowed I must leave the eleven. I cannot +share in this conversation--if you determine to continue it I shall have +no choice but to go." They did not want to lose him, and the foul +conversation was stopped. + + + + +MONEY. + + +The love of money is the root of all evil. Nevertheless, money in a +civilized country is a necessity. How to make it is one of the great +questions, and how to spend it aright is one of the great difficulties. + +Money is power. It is power, if we use it aright, it overpowers us if we +use it badly or even carelessly. It is a great mistake to want to make +your money too quickly, and a still greater mistake to think that you are +likely to do so. Money that is the result of honest labour will, if +rightly used, be a blessing to you and yours. + +1st. How to make it. By honest labour, honestly done. You have chosen +your trade or occupation--let your money be honestly earned therein, and +look more to the quality of your work than to the quantity of your money. +You have a right when you have learnt your trade to a fair day's wage for +a fair day's work, but be sure that the word fair governs both the work +and the wage--the fair work must be done before the fair wage can be +rightly claimed. There is far too much scamping work in the present day, +working simply for money and not for any interest in the work itself. +Money should not be a man's test of success, but the perfectness of his +work. Men used once to work for love of their art, and so long as the +picture was painted or the sculpture wrought, they cared little for the +money they were to gain by it, or the hardship of their lives, but now +men paint for what the public will pay for, and write and work not from +their hearts but for their pockets. And with high and low, not success +but money is the moving power--not how can I can make it more perfect, +but what can I get for it. A man who will leave a piece of work, or a +clerk who will leave a few minutes writing only because the clock has +struck the hour, is little better than a money-making machine. Work done +in such a spirit did not give us men like Wren or Stephenson. Read their +lives and you will see what I mean. If your work is thoroughly and +honestly done, you have a right to your own price for it, if you can find +a purchaser. You have a right to sell your labour at your own price, but +the master has an equal right to buy or to refuse. Combinations and +unions of working men are perfectly right, if they unite for their own +advantage, and for protection against oppression, and strikes may, though +in very rare cases, be a painful necessity. It must be borne in mind +that there can be no fixed standard of wages. Wages must vary with the +state of the markets. Men must be ready to accept lower wages when trade +is dull, they must bear their share of the depression as well as the +masters, and the true principle is for men and masters, or if you like +the expression better, capital and labour to go hand in hand. The +success or ruin of the one is the success or ruin of the other. There +are of course cases of grasping masters who will endeavour to grind their +workmen, and there are cases of worthless and obstinate workmen, who look +only to themselves and the present moment, but both ought to be and might +be very rare exceptions, if the good and true men on both sides would +come to the front. + +2nd. How to spend the money. Remember that you are God's steward, and +will have to account for the use of this bounty. Give your tithe to God +first. The tenth part of your profits, whether reckoned weekly or +yearly, should be given to God in some way or other, and those who do it +will find themselves blessed in earthly things, whilst they are laying up +a treasure in heaven. God's tithe paid, how is the rest of your income +to be spent? 1st. Necessary expenses, _i.e._, food, clothing, &c. 2nd. +Useful expenditure, _i.e._, learning, books, &c. 3rd. Recreation and +minor luxuries. + +Pay your way as you go, and never run into debt. Debt is next door +neighbour to theft. Two things I would impress upon you, first, that +where the need is you should repay your parents care by helping them. +England is disgraced by the number of old people who are left to the care +of the parish by children who ought to be thankful to be allowed to +support them. Secondly, that it is your duty to make provision for the +future, so that the workhouse may not even enter into your calculations, +as a possible refuge in old age for you and yours. This can be done by +regular savings, even though very small, and by insuring your life. Post +office and other savings' banks, will help you in the former, and various +insurance offices offer special facilities by weekly and monthly payments +for the latter. + + + + +AMUSEMENTS. + + +Recreation is as necessary as work. What kind is to be sought after, and +what avoided? For health's sake, if for nothing else, boys should have +some kind of out-door amusements. A boy has an easy choice of good and +healthy recreation, and therefore has no excuse for taking up with bad +objects. Cricket, Rowing, Volunteering, and such-like, are healthy, and +easily obtainable recreations. Gambling, drinking, loitering, are not to +be thought of for a moment, they are the curse of the lazy and +weak-minded. Theatres are very good if you keep out of the cheap and +nasty ones. Music halls are much better avoided. I do not say that it +is necessarily wrong to go there, or that you are certain to come to harm +if you frequent them, but there is more chance of temptation, and an +inferior entertainment for your money. Well acted plays may open out +your mind, but the silliness of the music hall entertainment will only +react upon you. You can tell a music hall frequenter, not by the words +of his mouth so much as by the shuffle of his feet: his highest ambition +seems to be to dance the double shuffle, and perhaps sing a few verses of +some jingling rhyme. Out-door recreation is not so easily attainable, in +the winter, as the time at your disposal is so short. In-door amusements +must, to a great extent, take their place. The gymnasium is a good +institution; chess is a game worth learning, and very fascinating to some +minds; cards are good as long as gambling is avoided, and many other +games readily suggest themselves to one's mind. + +Reading will be more to the liking of many. Read books which are worth +reading, not the penny trash which shops offer to the boys of England. I +should hope that the boys of England have sufficient brains to care for +something a little above the penny dreadfuls, otherwise it is a bad look +out for the future men of England. Independently of libraries you can +now get books, by good writers, as cheap as sixpence--Walter Scott, +Fennimore Cooper, Maryatt, Dickens, &c. A word about books. Of course, +in books by writers such as I have mentioned you will find many things +spoken of which are wrong and ought not to be. They must write so if +stories are to be written of life as we find it, and mere goody-goody +books, which avoid all mention of such things, are unnatural, and do not +give true pictures of life. The harm of too many cheap publications, and +not only the cheap ones, is, that in speaking of these things they make +them appear unavoidable, and even worthy of praise. Good writers show +how revolting crime and evil is, how they can be overcome and resisted, +and how truth and honesty must prevail in the end. The difference +between good books and plays and bad ones is not so much the subjects +they write about as the way in which they speak of them. Some of the +cheap literature is only foolish, some is distinctly wicked, but both are +better avoided, and your time and money spent on worthier objects. Avoid +bad company, and take care that your recreations are manly and honest. + + + + +HOME DUTIES. + + +As soon as you begin to bear your share in the expenses of home, you will +naturally look to have your word in the arrangements thereof. From the +time that you begin to earn your own living, until the time that you make +a home for yourself, there will be certain home duties which you have no +right to neglect. + +First of all, you must be ready to bear your fair share in the expenses +of the home. When first you go to work, you will probably be expected to +bring home all your money, and have a certain sum given to you for pocket +money. As you grow older, you will agree to pay a certain sum for your +board and lodging, and keep the rest for yourself. Let your payments be +such as will do a little more than actually cover the expense of what you +have. Give a thought to the general comfort of the home, and in time of +need when perhaps your father's work is slack, be ready to increase your +help, even though it may decrease your own personal comfort. + +Secondly, you must acknowledge the authority of the head of the house, +and respect his wishes as to home arrangements, time for being in at +night, &c. + +Thirdly. Recognise your responsibilities to your brothers and sisters. +If you are the eldest son you are bound to be the example, and if need be +the protector of the others, and whether elder or not you have still your +duties and responsibilities. A good brother is a great help to a sister, +and her brother's good opinion will be something which she will be very +sorry to forfeit through any fault of hers. For your sisters' sake +specially you are bound to be careful that your companions whom you may +bring home with you should not be such as would not be fit company for +them. Your duties to your parents I have already mentioned, and the +older you grow the more thoroughly you should carry them out, so that, as +you grow out of mere boyhood, you may become more and more the companion +and friend of your father, and more and more the comfort and support of +your mother. It is a great thing in time of trouble to have one son to +whom they can look without fear of his help failing them. It is far too +common to see young fellows, so soon as they can earn enough to support +themselves, leaving home and going into lodgings because they are freer +and more comfortable, and leaving their parents to struggle on with the +youngsters. It is a selfish and ungrateful course, and therefore sure to +be without a blessing from God. I am talking now of those whose work +keeps them near home, and who only leave their home to escape its duties, +or as they would miscall them, its burdens. Many, of course, must leave +home. If work calls you elsewhere it is another matter. It would be a +very good thing in many instances if young fellows would have the pluck +to emigrate and make their way in a new country. Englishmen are getting +too fond of stopping at home where the labour markets are overstocked. +Emigration is one of the best openings for a young fellow if he makes up +his mind to work, and does not expect a fortune to fall into his lap +because he has gone to a new country to seek it. + + + + +SELF-IMPROVEMENT. + + +Boys generally leave school at about thirteen years of age, but they make +a very great mistake if they leave off learning at that age. Time might +be roughly divided off into four parts--necessary work, work for others, +self-improvement, and recreation. A man's education is never completed. +A man is never too old to learn. Whilst you are a boy and lad you need +to be taught; afterwards you can to a great extent learn for yourself. +You should never be content to remain just where you are, you should +endeavour to make the most of your opportunities, and to advance in +knowledge and capability. You are taught in your catechism to "do your +duty in that state of life unto which it shall please God to call you." +This does not mean that you are not to try and better your position. +Quite the contrary; it means that while you are to go on contentedly in +the station and work which God has allotted to you, you are also to try +and use to the utmost all the opportunities and powers which he has +given. He has called you to your present position, He may be calling you +to something more. If he has given you the power and opportunity of +raising yourself, he meant you to use them. It is a false humility and a +false view of religion that encourages sloth under the pretence of being +contented with one's humble lot. There is God's work--real every day +work to be done in worldly as well as in what seems to be more directly +spiritual work. One's whole interest is not to be centred on earthly +things, neither are we to be so heavenly minded as to neglect earthly +duties, and the talents which God has committed to our trust. It is your +duty then to do your utmost to improve your stock of knowledge. School +has laid the foundation, and you must work at the building. Your own +particular tastes or your work will suggest the subjects to which you +should first turn your attention. Develop the natural powers you have, +and advance steadily from one subject to another. Set apart a certain +portion of your spare time for study and self-improvement. Remember also +that you have certain duties to your neighbours and your country, and +that in order to fulfil them you must understand your position as a man +and a citizen. Read the history both of your own country and of other +lands. Read your paper. Study the questions of the day, both at home +and abroad, and learn to form your own opinion concerning them. Learn to +think for yourself, and not take as gospel all that you read in your +favourite paper. Look at both sides of a question and make up your own +mind. Comparatively few people think for themselves, and for that reason +men are so often carried away by popular leaders, and obstinately follow +opinions, the truth of which they have never tested, and the consequences +of which they have never considered. There are many opportunities in +classes and lectures for men to gain information, but they will be of +little real use unless men will think for themselves, and work out the +subjects instead of taking their opinions ready made. Study, not simply +listen. Study both secular and religious subjects. You may be sure that +there can be no advance in real self-improvement unless it is well +balanced. Religious knowledge should go hand in hand with secular +knowledge. Christ should be our great example in this as in all else, +and He "increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men." + + + + +CHUMS. + + +Birds of a feather flock together. A man is known by his friends. It is +of great importance therefore that your friends should be such as will +show that you yourself are of the right sort. A boy, unless he is a +particularly disagreeable one, will probably have a fair number of +friends, that is to say, of fellows that he knows and associates with, +but above and beyond these he will probably have some one particular +chum, one who shares in all his plans, one with whom to talk over all his +schemes, one often with whom to join in some piece of mischief. Chums to +do one another much good should be about the same age. There may be a +friendship between an elder and a younger boy, or between a boy and a +man, but they will not be exactly chums. A friendship of this sort is +very useful if the elder is one who will lead aright, but if the elder is +the weaker of the two, or still more if the elder is viciously inclined, +such an acquaintance is one of the worst possible things for a lad. A +young boy, hanging on to an elder one, learning all his bad habits, is +only too likely to prove an apt pupil, and come utterly to grief. +Remember no one is worthy of the name of friend who would ever counsel +you to do anything wrong, or who would not give you a word in season when +he found you were going on a wrong tack. A chum of one's own age is +quite a different article. Very often they are not lads of the same +dispositions and tastes, and are drawn to one another by these very +differences. It not unfrequently happens that a bright active lad will +chum with a very quiet meditative one. The one doing the thinking and +the other the acting. Such friendships will last on sometimes through +life, but generally well through boyhood. Very often the last act of +chumship is the acting as best man at the friend's wedding. Such +friendships will work great good so long as they are on the give and take +principle, and that nothing is given or taken of the bad qualities which +may be in each. A boy without a chum is very likely to grow either +conceited or selfish, or both. A good-natured chum is a very useful +check. He does not mind chaffing him out of any little absurdities, and +rubbing against one another they manage to knock off many odd corners and +polish up one another. Any chumship in evil is to be avoided. If a +chum, however much he may be liked, wants you to go in for a partnership +in evil he must be given up. I don't say that you can give up caring for +him, but he must be made to see clearly that he must make his choice +between the evil doing and you--that he cannot be chums with both. Chums +should have strict honour between themselves, and always be ready to +stand up for one another. A good chum prevents one becoming a prig, and +there is nothing short of actual vice which is so hateful in a boy as +priggishness. There is as much difference between a prig and a right- +minded boy as between chalk and cheese. A right-minded boy goes on his +way trying to do right and live honestly and purely, because it is right +and honourable, and because deep in his own heart he knows he has +promised Jesus Christ that he will live a godly life. A prig is also +doing right and living purely and honestly, but is all the time trying to +make other people see it, and not doing it simply because it is right. +Hence he has not half the strength when real temptation comes, because he +has always been looking at the outside effect of his life, instead of +looking inward, to see if he is true to his promise. Avoid priggishness, +but do not be afraid of being called a prig when it is only the taunt by +which someone hopes to shame you into doing that which you know in your +heart is wrong. + + + + +COURTSHIP. + + +There comes a time when a young man begins seriously to look forward to +settling in life and having a home of his own. As a boy he may have had +his likings among the girl companions with whom he was acquainted, but +now it becomes a totally different question, and his intercourse with +young women assumes the position of courtship. + +It is only natural and right that man should look where God intended him +to look for a help-meet and companion, but all depends upon the way in +which he does it. There is no need to be in a hurry. Better to wait and +make quite sure. As a general rule I should say that twenty-five was +quite young enough for a man to marry, but still that must entirely +depend upon circumstances. + +Before I venture to suggest a few thoughts concerning courtship and the +choice of a wife, I should like to make a few remarks upon the manner in +which women ought to be treated by men. It is too much the custom for +men to look upon women as beings the object of whose creation was to be +pleasant companions for them before marriage and useful servants after +marriage. Hence there is a very great want of respect and honourable +treatment. A young fellow, before he steadies down as the expression is, +does not think there is anything mean or dishonourable in his leading a +girl on, and without any intention of ruining her, allowing her to lower +herself by her conversation and manners. He does not consider the harm +that he is doing to the girl, how it may be the first step to ruin. He +means no harm, only just amusing himself with her. Is it not mean, +however, simply for his own pleasure to treat a woman as if she were +merely a plaything, instead of a being as valuable in God's sight as +himself, and equally with him an object of God's love and care. No words +suffice to denounce the wickedness and meanness of the coward, who, +taking advantage of a girl's real though misguided love for him, will +seduce her into sin and then leave her to bear the punishment and +disgrace. No words can describe the heartless wickedness which will rob +a woman of that which is her greatest treasure and ornament, and bring +upon her a sorrow which the grave alone can end. He may escape +punishment here. He may even gain a sort of reputation as one who can +always gain the attention of women, but he will only receive the greater +punishment from the judge and avenger of all. One word more before I +close these remarks, which I would have gladly omitted from these papers, +but truth demands them. + +Some men seem to think that the sin and responsibility is very slight if +it be committed with a woman who trades upon her sin. Undoubtedly it is +not so cowardly as the ruin of a pure and innocent woman, but who can +tell that you may not have met with that woman at the turning point in +her life, when but for you she might have repented? and at the very least +you have added to the weight of her sin. Once she had been pure, God +alone knows her history, but who of the many who have taken advantage of +her misery and helped to chain her to her life of sin will be held +guiltless by Him? Great, fearful is her guilt, but God alone knows how +she may long to be free. Far greater is their guilt who for their own +selfish enjoyment do not hesitate to plunge deeper into ruin a soul for +whom Christ died. If men treated all women honourably--all, not simply +their relations and friends,--there would not be those who make their +living by sin. Such a state of things it may be hopeless to expect, so +long as cowards are to be found amongst men, but it is not too much to +expect from honourable men and Christians that they should treat all +women with such respect, that, as far as lies in their power, the stigma +of meanness and cowardice should not rest upon the men of this land. +Treat them with respect, not only in your intercourse with them, but in +your conversation about them, and your thoughts concerning them. + +But to turn to a pleasanter subject, the honourable courtship of man and +maiden. Certain things should be taken into consideration in making your +choice. First, that the object of your choice should be one whom you can +thoroughly love and entirely trust. Secondly, that she should be one +whom you feel would be a real help in life. Thirdly, that she should be +of the same religion as yourself (otherwise difficulties in after life +are sure to arise) and a really religious woman. And Fourthly, that she +should be not merely, or even necessarily, a bright and pretty companion, +but should have such qualities as are necessary for a good wife and +mother--one who can manage a home as well as help to pass an hour or so +pleasantly. + +Your courtship should be thoroughly open and above-board. The parents +consent should first be obtained, and remember that you are bound to +respect their wishes. Be careful also that she shall never in any way be +compromised by your conduct. I say no more because I have assumed at the +beginning that your courtship is honourable, that you love the girl of +your choice, and that as you would shield her from all injury from +others, so she will be safe under your protection. Take no ordinary +standard as the rule of your courtship, but determine from the very +beginning that it shall be so conducted, that when as man and wife you +look back upon it, it may be with feelings free from any taint of sorrow +or shame; that when you stand before God to be married it may be as +honest man and maiden, seeking for God's full blessing upon your married +life, as it has rested upon your unmarried days. One thing I would say +in conclusion, and I mention it last as being the most important, let +your choice of a wife be a subject of earnest prayer to God, and when +your choice has been made, and your love pledged one to another, let it +be a subject of mutual prayer that each may help the other to live to the +glory of God, in the station of life in which he sees fit to place you. + + + + +HUSBANDS. + + +The headship of a family carries with it heavy responsibilities. We may +shrink from them and avoid them, but still they remain. A good husband +and a good father makes a happy home and honest children. Drunkenness is +too often the destruction of home. If the head of the family can rule +himself in this as in other matters then he may reasonably hope for a +happy and comfortable home, but if drink is allowed to take the place of +wife or children, drink will rule the household and swallow up its peace +and prosperity. Nevertheless, drunkenness is not by any means the only +fault or indeed the beginning of the break up of a home. It is very +often the result of a home made miserable by other and easily avoided +faults. Many I suppose start their married life with the full intention +of realising their ideas of a happy home. The picture is very pleasant, +the reality is too often quite the reverse. Why? Very often because of +a want of mutual forbearance. It takes some little time really to know +one another, and unless there is a spirit of mutual forbearance the +little differences will become great quarrels. The husband is to rule, +but he is not to be a tyrant. The wife is not bound to give a blind +obedience to all his commands, and the husband is bound to respect his +wife's wishes. It ought to be a rule that in matters of importance, +where either feels it to be a question of duty, that if they cannot agree +neither should endeavour to force the other to act against their +conscience. + +My first piece of practical advice to husbands would be to have a proper +understanding about money matters, and to be liberal therein. Give your +wife a regular sum per week, and let it be clearly arranged what expenses +she is responsible for. + +Secondly, do not have any friends that you cannot or do not care to bring +to your home, and let no one come between you and your wife, or draw you +away to enjoy yourself apart from her. + +Thirdly, do your church-going together as far as you can, and when that +is impossible arrange one with the other, so that each may be able to go +at some time every Sunday. Above all keep one another up to your regular +Communions, for there is little blessing on the married union that is not +blessed with a higher communion. + +Fourthly. When you have children train them yourself, specially the +boys, who will gain far more good from father than from anyone else. It +is too much the custom to leave all the religious training to mother or +to school. Take your children to Church with you instead of seeing that +they are sent. Come is a much better word of instruction than go. + +A few words in conclusion as to the general duties of a man, be he +married or single. You have no right to shirk your duties as a man to +your home, as a Christian to your Church, or as a citizen to your +country. The support and training of your family is your first duty, and +nothing may rightly come in the way of that, but the fulfilling of that +need not prevent your carrying out your other duties. You are a +Christian, you receive spiritual benefits from your connection with the +Church, you are bound then to make some return. Your prayers, your alms, +and your active work, according to your means and opportunities, ought to +be available for the work of the Church. There ought not to be any +drones in the Church's hive, but each member should bear his share of the +burdens, as well as partake of the blessings. There is work for everyone +that is ready to help. + +You have still your duty to your country. Your own personal influence +may not be great, but you are nevertheless bound to use it on the side +which you believe to be right. Public opinion is made up by the +agreement of many, and the course of the nation is guided eventually by +the votes of the people. You have your share in the responsibility of +all that is done, and are therefore bound to endeavour to understand the +questions of the day, and to act upon the conclusions you may form. No +man has a right to shirk any of the responsibilities of his position, and +a true man will endeavour to serve God and his fellow-men to the best of +his ability--to do as much good as he can in the little time allotted to +him, and to leave the reward of his labours in the hands of Him for whose +sake and after whose example he has endeavoured to spend his life. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BOYS*** + + +******* This file should be named 23230.txt or 23230.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/3/2/3/23230 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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