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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/28953-h.zip b/28953-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b23b6ac --- /dev/null +++ b/28953-h.zip diff --git a/28953-h/28953-h.htm b/28953-h/28953-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b630c23 --- /dev/null +++ b/28953-h/28953-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1170 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of When I Grow Up, by Richard E. Lowe + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + + p {margin-top: .75em; text-align: justify; margin-bottom: .75em;} + h1,h2 {text-align: right; font-weight: normal; line-height: 2em;} + body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .trn {border: solid 1px; margin: 3em 15%; padding: 1em; text-align: justify;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + .bk1 {margin: 1em auto 3em; border-top: solid 2px; border-bottom: solid 2px;} + .bk2 {float: left; width: 15em; margin: 1em 2em 1em 0;} + .pr1 {line-height: 1.5em; margin-top: 4em;} + p.cap:first-letter {float: left; margin-right: .05em; padding-top: .05em; font-size: 300%; line-height: .8em; width: auto;} + + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of When I Grow Up, by Richard E. Lowe + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: When I Grow Up + +Author: Richard E. Lowe + +Release Date: May 24, 2009 [EBook #28953] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHEN I GROW UP *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="bk1"><p><i><small>A good many science fiction writers seem determined to depict children as +little monsters. Not all children perhaps, and not with completely merciless +regularity. But often enough to make us shudder. Only Richard Lowe remains +independent. The youngster of this story isn't a child monster at all. He's +just—a "destructor." And that in itself is somehow unimaginably terrifying!</small></i></p></div> + +<div class="bk2"><h1><b>when<br /> +i<br /> +grow<br /> +up</b></h1> + +<h2><small><i>by ... Richard E. Lowe</i></small></h2> + +<p class="pr1"><big><b>The two professors couldn't agree on the fundamentals of +child behavior. But that was before they met little Herbux!</b></big></p></div> + +<p class="cap"><span class="smcap">The University</span> sprawled casually, +unashamed of its disordered +ranks, over a hundred thousand +acres of grassy, rolling countryside. +It was the year A.D. 3896, and +the vast assemblage of schools and +colleges and laboratories had been +growing on this site for more than +two thousand years.</p> + +<p>It had survived political and industrial +revolutions, local insurrections, +global, inter-terrestrial and +nuclear wars, and it had become +the acknowledged center of learning +for the entire known universe.</p> + +<p>No subject was too small to +escape attention at the University. +None was too large to be attacked +by the fearless, probing fingers of +curiosity, or to in any way over-awe +students and teachers in this great +institution of learning.</p> + +<p>No book was ever closed in the +University and no clue, however +tiny, was discarded as useless in the +ceaseless search for knowledge +which was the University's prime +and overriding goal.</p> + +<p>For no matter how fast and far +the spaceships might fly, or what +strange creatures might be brought +back across the great curve of the +universe or how deeply the past was +resurrected or the future probed, of +one thing only was the University +quite sure—<i>man did not know +enough</i>.</p> + +<p>All manner of schools had come +into being at the University, and +often they functioned in pairs, one +devoted to proving a proposition, +and the other to disproving it. And +among these pairs of schools two, +in particular, seemed to exist on a +most tenuous basis. Their avowed +mission was to settle the age-old +argument concerning the relative +influences of heredity and environment.</p> + +<p>One, headed by Professor Miltcheck +von Possenfeller, worked +tirelessly to prove that there was +no such determining factor as +heredity, and that environment +alone was the governing influence +in human behavior.</p> + +<p>The other, under the direction +of Dr. Arthur D. Smithlawn, was +dedicated to the task of proving +that environment meant nothing, +and that only heredity was important.</p> + +<p>Success, in short, could only +come to those who were born with +the genes of success in their bodies, +and failure was as preordained for +the rest as was ultimate death for +all.</p> + +<p>Over a period of more than two +hundred years the School of Environment +had been taking babies +from among the thousands of +homeless waifs gathered in +throughout the universe, and raising +them carefully in a closely +supervised, cultural atmosphere.</p> + +<p>The School of Heredity, on the +other hand, was more select. Its +pupils came only from families +whose genealogy could be traced +back for at least a thousand years. +Freedom of choice and expression +was the rule here, since the school +was attempting to prove that a +child's inherited tendencies will +send it inevitably along a predetermined +path, completely uninfluenced +by outside help or hindrance.</p> + +<p>In two centuries neither school +had been able to develop an overpowering +case in support of its +own theory. Hence they both +thrived, and cheerfully ignored the +discrepancies which existed in the +case records of individuals who +had not turned out according to +the book.</p> + +<p>Although they were zealous professional +rivals, Prof. von Possenfeller +and Dr. Smithlawn were devoted +personal friends. They called +each other Possy and Smithy and +got together once a week to play +chess and exchange views on the +universe in general. Only one subject +was taboo between them—their +experimental work.</p> + +<p>On this particular Saturday +night, however, Smithy noticed +that his good friend Possy was terribly +agitated and disturbed, and +had for the third time carelessly +put his queen in jeopardy.</p> + +<p>"My dear friend," exclaimed +Possy, blindly moving his king into +check. "Could you possibly be persuaded +to ignore for the moment +our ban on professional talk? +There is something—"</p> + +<p>Smithy, secretly, was only too +anxious to talk at great length. But +he pretended to give the request +serious consideration.</p> + +<p>"If it is really important," he +said. "Yes, by all means. Go right +ahead."</p> + +<p>"Smithy," Possy plunged on, "I +am nonplussed. I am really, terribly +disturbed. I've never felt like +this before."</p> + +<p>Smithy waited patiently while +Possy poured himself a large +brandy and soda, hastily gulped it +down, and made a face as he regretted +the action.</p> + +<p>"How much do you know about +our methods of working in the +School of Environment?" the professor +asked, taking a new tack.</p> + +<p>"Nothing, of course," replied +Smithy. The statement was not +precisely true, but Smithy was not +yet ready to confess that he had +spies in his friend's school.</p> + +<p>"Well, then," said Possy, knowing +full well that Smithy had been +getting reports on his college for +many years, and feeling secretly +glad that he, in turn, had been +spying.</p> + +<p>"Well, then," he repeated, "you +should be aware that we know +<i>absolutely nothing</i> about the children +we enroll. Most of them are +infants. We do not know who +their parents were, or where they +were born. Except for the obvious +clues which their bodies furnish, +we do not even know their national +or racial origins.</p> + +<p>"We bring them up with absolutely +equal treatment—the finest +of everything. At the age of five +we divide them arbitrarily into +classes and begin training them +for occupations. Some we educate +as scholars, some laborers, some +professional men. In me, dear +friend, you see one of the triumphs +of our methods. I myself was a +foundling—raised and educated in +the School of Environment. Whatever +I may be, I owe to the School."</p> + +<p>He paused to give Smithy a +chance to digest the statement.</p> + +<p>"Of course," Possy continued, +"we take into consideration such +factors as physical build and muscular +development. We don't train +undersized boys to be freight +handlers. But in general the division +is arbitrary. And you'd be +amazed how they respond to it. +To keep a check on things, we +interview our students twice a +year to see how much they have +learned.</p> + +<p>"We always ask them what they +want to be when they grow up. +That enables us to determine +whether or not the training is really +taking hold. Occasionally, it is +true, we find a case where the +schooling seems to run counter to +natural aptitudes—"</p> + +<p>Smithy could not resist interrupting. +"Natural aptitudes? I am +surprised to hear you use such an +expression. I thought you furnished +your students with aptitudes +through environmental conditioning."</p> + +<p>Stiffly, Possy retorted, "Sometime +we will have a full, objective discussion +of the matter. It is not +pertinent at this moment. Of +course I believe in natural, or +instinctive aptitudes. But I do not +believe that they are inherited from +parents or even from remote ancestors."</p> + +<p>"Cosmic rays, perhaps," needled +Smithy, and became instantly sorry +when his friend's face began to +redden. Possy didn't believe in cosmic +rays, obviously. Smithy apologized.</p> + +<p>Possy sighed deeply and made +a fresh start. "My friend," he said, +"in your work, as I understand it, +you learn everything you can about +a student's past—and about his +progenitors. By so doing you hope +to be able to predict his future +abilities, his likes and dislikes. But +what course do you pursue when +you find a boy who just doesn't +prove out according to the prognostications?"</p> + +<p>Smithy mumbled a few evasive +words in reply, but refused to be +drawn into giving a positive answer.</p> + +<p>"Never mind," Possy said. +"What would you say if you asked +a boy what he liked, or what he +wanted to do and his answer concerned +something that never existed, +or had never been dreamed of? +Something horrible."</p> + +<p>Smithy's eyebrows perked up. He +made no attempt to conceal the +fact that his interest had been +aroused.</p> + +<p>"What, precisely, do you mean?" +he demanded.</p> + +<p>"Just this," Possy said, leaning +forward to give emphasis to his +words. "We have a boy who is +being trained as a space navigator. +He is very bright. He is of medium +build, as a spaceman must be, and +he learns easily and willingly. We +are sure now that he will be ready +for pre-space school two years before +he reaches the minimum age. +Yet, whenever this boy is asked +what he wants to do, he replies, 'I +want to be a Destructor.'"</p> + +<p>Smithy's lips parted. But for a +moment he remained completely +silent while his mind stumbled over +the strange term.</p> + +<p>"Destructor?" he repeated, at +last.</p> + +<p>"Wait," said Possy, "and listen +carefully. This boy is now ten years +old. He first gave me that answer +three days ago. He repeated it two +days ago, then yesterday and again +today. I had never interviewed him +before. I never interview a student +personally until the tenth year—so +I quite naturally had his files double-checked. +Smithy, he's been giving +the same answer ever since he +was five years old. Two interviews +a year for six years—and three +extra ones this week! Imagine! +Fifteen times this boy has said he +wants to be a Destructor—and no +one even knows what a Destructor +is."</p> + +<p>"Well," Smithy said with a +shrug, convinced that Possy was +getting all excited over nothing, +"I admit it seems strange—and +highly single-minded for so young +a boy. But don't you imagine it's +some word he just made up?"</p> + +<p>"I admitted that as a possibility +until this morning. But look here."</p> + +<p>Possy reached behind his chair +and took up a small leather bag. +Slowly he unzipped it and delved +inside. Then, with a grim flourish, +he brought forth the body of a cat.</p> + +<p>As Smithy's eyes widened, Possy +said dramatically: "Smithy, that +boy killed this cat with a <i>glance</i>."</p> + +<p>"With a—a what?"</p> + +<p>"A glance! You heard me correctly. +He just looked at the cat, +and the beast dropped dead. And +he did it to other things, too—a +sparrow, a baby fox. Why, he even +did it to a rat that had been cornered +by this very cat.</p> + +<p>"I tell you, I had never been so +shaken by anything in all my life. +I said to myself, 'Possy, have you +got yourself a mutant?' 'No,' I replied. +'He's completely normal in +every respect, physically and otherwise. +He's a bit brighter than +average, perhaps—ninety-eight six +in his studies, including elementary +astrophysics. He speaks brilliantly, +composes poetry, even invents +little gadgets. He's a genius, maybe, +but not a mutant.' Then I asked myself, +'how do you account for the +cat?'"</p> + +<p>Possy paused, inferentially transferring +the question to his friend.</p> + +<p>"I can't account for the cat," +Smithy said. "Unless we assume +its death was a coincidence. But I +confess you've aroused my curiosity. +Could I see and talk to this +boy who wants to be a—" he grimaced—"a +Destructor?"</p> + +<p>"I'm glad you asked." Possy +sighed with relief. "Actually he is +outside now, waiting to join us. +But I must warn you that you'll +find him quite precocious. However, +he's extremely amenable."</p> + +<p>Possy went quickly to the door, +opened it and called, "Herbux, +come in."</p> + +<p>The boy entered. He was, +Smithy observed, a quite ordinary-looking +boy. He was so obviously +ten years old that you couldn't say +he was either old or young, large +or small, fat or thin or anything +else, "for his age." He was just +ten years old and a boy.</p> + +<p>"Herbux," said Possy, "I want +you to meet a friend of mine—the +famous Dr. Smithlawn."</p> + +<p>"How do you do, sir," Herbux +said politely.</p> + +<p>"How do <i>you</i> do," returned +Smithy. He had already decided not +to be patronizing, but to take a +bold, frank, comradely course with +the lad.</p> + +<p>"Herbux," he said, "Professor +von Possenfeller has been telling +me the story of your life. Now +you tell me, Herbux. Not <i>what</i> you +want to be when you grow up, but +<i>why</i>."</p> + +<p>"I don't know why, sir," Herbux +replied easily. "I only know +that I want to be a Destructor."</p> + +<p>"But, Herbux, what <i>is</i> a Destructor?"</p> + +<p>Herbux looked around the +room. He saw Smithy's birdcage, +walked over to it and stared for +a moment quietly at Dicky, the +doctor's parakeet.</p> + +<p>Dicky looked back, chirped angrily +twice and toppled from his +perch. He landed on his back, his +tiny feet rigid and unmoving. He +was quite dead, Smithy observed, +with a sudden, detached, unbelieving +horror. Why, Dicky was seven +years old and he had been as good +a pet as any lonely old professor +could have desired as a cheery +avian companion.</p> + +<p>"Look here, young man," he began +sternly. Then, as the shock +passed, he hastily changed his +tone. Suppose this child <i>did</i> have +some strange sort of power—mystic +perhaps, but definitely abnormal. +He may belong in the School +of the Future, Smithy thought. Or +perhaps in the School of the Past—the +Dark Ages Department. But +not here!</p> + +<p>"Don't worry, sir," Herbux said. +"I can't do it to you."</p> + +<p>"But—do <i>what</i>?" Smithy cried. +"What did you do?"</p> + +<p>"I destructed."</p> + +<p>Smithy took a deep breath. He +felt as though a cruel hoax had +been played on him. After all, +Possy could have lied about the +cat and the other creatures. And +the boy was quite obviously bright +enough to learn lines and play a +part. But how explain Dicky?</p> + +<p>He tried to calculate the coincidental +odds that might have caused +Dicky to die a natural death at one +precise instant in time under unusual +and exact circumstances. They +proved to be incalculable to his +unmathematical brain. He rubbed +his face with the palms of both +hands. Then he turned abruptly to +Possy.</p> + +<p>"I just don't know what to say +about it," he explained. "How +<i>could</i> I know? How could anybody +know?"</p> + +<p>He faced the boy again. "Look +here, Herbux. This—this power of +yours. When did you first notice +you had it?"</p> + +<p>"Last year, sir. I always knew +I would do it sometime. But one +day I was looking at a bird perched +on my windowsill, and it fell over +dead, just as your parakeet did. I +thought it was an accident or a +coincidence. But then the next day +it happened again—with a squirrel. +Soon I got to where I could +do it on purpose. But I don't know +how."</p> + +<p>"Well, how do you <i>feel</i> about +it? Do you <i>want</i> to kill these +harmless pets?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, no, sir. I don't want to <i>kill</i> +them. I just want to be a Destructor."</p> + +<p>Smithy had a sudden, disquieting +conviction that he was in the +presence of some completely alien, +dangerous being. A cold breeze +seemed to shiver through the room, +though he knew that his quarters +were airtight and perfectly ventilated. +<i>This is ridiculous</i>, he told himself, +turning to Possy with a helpless +shrug. To feel like this over +such a nice-looking young lad ...</p> + +<p>"My friend," he said, "all this +has occurred so suddenly I must +have time to think. Such a thing +could never have happened in <i>my</i> +school. Perhaps you should—but +doubtless it has already occurred to +you—turn him over to physio-psychological +rebuilding?"</p> + +<p>Possy nodded. "It has, of course. +But then I said to myself, 'Possy, +they are a bunch of dunderheaded +old fossils over there. They can +take a criminal and tear him apart +and make a good citizen out of him, +granted. But do they find out <i>why</i> +he was a criminal? Have they reduced +the number of new criminals? +No. And they would not +find out why this boy wants to be +a Destructor—nor even what a Destructor +is.'</p> + +<p>"'You're right,' I told myself. +'And besides, Herbux is a nice boy. +Why, with this power of his—if +he <i>wanted</i> to do harm—there +wouldn't be an animal left alive +around the whole University. And +if he could do it to people he's +had many an opportunity to practice +on me. But has he? No, not +once. Besides, if you keep him in +school, you can maintain a good +close watch over him. Herbux has +promised to keep me fully informed +as to the progress of his strange +power. If he feels it getting stronger, +he will let me know immediately.' +Isn't that right, Herbux?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, sir," said the boy quietly.</p> + +<p>"You are quite sure," Smithy +asked, "that you know absolutely +nothing about this boy's past? His +parents, his birthplace—anything at +all? There must be <i>some</i> clue."</p> + +<p>"You know very well I don't," +Possy retorted angrily.</p> + +<p>"I just thought that perhaps you +might have subjected him to hypno-research," +Smithy said, placatingly.</p> + +<p>"I wouldn't dream of such a +thing—" Possy began—and stopped +with a gasp. "How did you +know about that?" he demanded.</p> + +<p>Smithy was flustered. "I—well, +that is—" He could think of no +convincing answer. Hypno-research +was one of Possy's most secret projects. +He had used it constantly in +his efforts to determine reasons for +non-conformity to set patterns of +behavior in some of his more recalcitrant +students. He had kept it +a secret because it added up to an +admission that perhaps heredity +could play a part in the development +of a student's character.</p> + +<p>"Smithy, my dear old friend," +he said with mock humility. "This +is no time for us to quarrel. Let us +face the facts candidly. You have +been spying on my school—and I +in turn have been spying on yours. +I know, for instance, that when +your students don't behave the way +their heredity charts predict you +often use hypno-therapy to change +their thought-lines, and force them +to conform. Is that any less fair +than what I do?"</p> + +<p>Smithy sighed. "I guess not, my +friend. No, wait. I will go farther +than that. It is not a matter of +guessing. I am quite certain about +it. We are a couple of aging +frauds, struggling selfishly along, +playing with the lives of these children +solely to keep our jobs. Perhaps +we should—"</p> + +<p>"Nevertheless, we have a problem," +interrupted Possy. "It's a +problem that won't be solved by +our becoming senile idiots. Get +your mind back on Herbux, and +help me. I feel this is a most desperate +situation. If it gets beyond +just the two of us, we are likely +to be thoroughly investigated. Then +goodness knows what would happen."</p> + +<p>"But why? The child can do no +real harm. Suppose he does 'destruct' +an animal or two? There +are plenty more. And sooner or +later they would die of natural +causes, anyway. And it's unthinkable +that he could ever do it to—to +people ..."</p> + +<p>Smithy paused, obviously struck +by a startling thought. He turned +to Herbux. "Boy," he said, quite +sternly. "Come here."</p> + +<p>Herbux obeyed, advancing to +within a foot of the old doctor and +facing him squarely.</p> + +<p>"Look me in the eyes," Smithy +commanded.</p> + +<p>Questioningly, Herbux began to +stare at Smithy.</p> + +<p>"Well," Smithy said, after a +time, "turn it on."</p> + +<p>A set look came over Herbux's +face. His lips were compressed and +a thin dew of sweat had broken +out on his forehead.</p> + +<p>Possy stood aghast, slowly comprehending +what his old friend +Smithy was doing. He was actually +risking his life—or so he believed—to +prove that the child could +not destruct a human being. He +wanted to stop the boy, but he +could not move from where he +stood.</p> + +<p>Suddenly Herbux broke and +turned away. He began to sob.</p> + +<p>"It's no use!" he cried. "I can't +do it. I just can't do it ..."</p> + +<p>Smithy went to him and put an +arm on his shoulders.</p> + +<p>"Tell me, boy," he exclaimed. +"What do you mean? Do you mean +that you can't <i>bring yourself</i> to do +it, or that it is physically impossible?"</p> + +<p>Herbux just stood there, his head +bowed, crying wildly.</p> + +<p>"I just can't do it," he repeated, +sounding now completely heart-broken.</p> + +<p>Possy, coming alive again, said +soothingly, "Don't cry, son. It's +not bad. It's good, that you can't +do it."</p> + +<p>Herbux whirled around, facing +Possy, his face inflamed with a sudden +rage.</p> + +<p>"But I will," he screamed, "I +will do it! I will! <i>When I grow +up!</i>"</p> + +<div class="trn"><b>Transcriber's Note:</b> +This etext was produced from <i>Fantastic Universe</i> September 1956. +Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. +copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and +typographical errors have been corrected without note.</div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of When I Grow Up, by Richard E. 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Lowe + +Release Date: May 24, 2009 [EBook #28953] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHEN I GROW UP *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + _A good many science fiction writers seem determined to depict + children as little monsters. Not all children perhaps, and not with + completely merciless regularity. But often enough to make us + shudder. Only Richard Lowe remains independent. The youngster of + this story isn't a child monster at all. He's just--a "destructor." + And that in itself is somehow unimaginably terrifying!_ + + + when + i + grow + up + + _by ... Richard E. Lowe_ + + + The two professors couldn't agree on the fundamentals of + child behavior. But that was before they met little Herbux! + + +The University sprawled casually, unashamed of its disordered ranks, +over a hundred thousand acres of grassy, rolling countryside. It was the +year A.D. 3896, and the vast assemblage of schools and colleges and +laboratories had been growing on this site for more than two thousand +years. + +It had survived political and industrial revolutions, local +insurrections, global, inter-terrestrial and nuclear wars, and it had +become the acknowledged center of learning for the entire known +universe. + +No subject was too small to escape attention at the University. None was +too large to be attacked by the fearless, probing fingers of curiosity, +or to in any way over-awe students and teachers in this great +institution of learning. + +No book was ever closed in the University and no clue, however tiny, was +discarded as useless in the ceaseless search for knowledge which was the +University's prime and overriding goal. + +For no matter how fast and far the spaceships might fly, or what strange +creatures might be brought back across the great curve of the universe +or how deeply the past was resurrected or the future probed, of one +thing only was the University quite sure--_man did not know enough_. + +All manner of schools had come into being at the University, and often +they functioned in pairs, one devoted to proving a proposition, and the +other to disproving it. And among these pairs of schools two, in +particular, seemed to exist on a most tenuous basis. Their avowed +mission was to settle the age-old argument concerning the relative +influences of heredity and environment. + +One, headed by Professor Miltcheck von Possenfeller, worked tirelessly +to prove that there was no such determining factor as heredity, and that +environment alone was the governing influence in human behavior. + +The other, under the direction of Dr. Arthur D. Smithlawn, was dedicated +to the task of proving that environment meant nothing, and that only +heredity was important. + +Success, in short, could only come to those who were born with the genes +of success in their bodies, and failure was as preordained for the rest +as was ultimate death for all. + +Over a period of more than two hundred years the School of Environment +had been taking babies from among the thousands of homeless waifs +gathered in throughout the universe, and raising them carefully in a +closely supervised, cultural atmosphere. + +The School of Heredity, on the other hand, was more select. Its pupils +came only from families whose genealogy could be traced back for at +least a thousand years. Freedom of choice and expression was the rule +here, since the school was attempting to prove that a child's inherited +tendencies will send it inevitably along a predetermined path, +completely uninfluenced by outside help or hindrance. + +In two centuries neither school had been able to develop an overpowering +case in support of its own theory. Hence they both thrived, and +cheerfully ignored the discrepancies which existed in the case records +of individuals who had not turned out according to the book. + +Although they were zealous professional rivals, Prof. von Possenfeller +and Dr. Smithlawn were devoted personal friends. They called each other +Possy and Smithy and got together once a week to play chess and exchange +views on the universe in general. Only one subject was taboo between +them--their experimental work. + +On this particular Saturday night, however, Smithy noticed that his good +friend Possy was terribly agitated and disturbed, and had for the third +time carelessly put his queen in jeopardy. + +"My dear friend," exclaimed Possy, blindly moving his king into check. +"Could you possibly be persuaded to ignore for the moment our ban on +professional talk? There is something--" + +Smithy, secretly, was only too anxious to talk at great length. But he +pretended to give the request serious consideration. + +"If it is really important," he said. "Yes, by all means. Go right +ahead." + +"Smithy," Possy plunged on, "I am nonplussed. I am really, terribly +disturbed. I've never felt like this before." + +Smithy waited patiently while Possy poured himself a large brandy and +soda, hastily gulped it down, and made a face as he regretted the +action. + +"How much do you know about our methods of working in the School of +Environment?" the professor asked, taking a new tack. + +"Nothing, of course," replied Smithy. The statement was not precisely +true, but Smithy was not yet ready to confess that he had spies in his +friend's school. + +"Well, then," said Possy, knowing full well that Smithy had been getting +reports on his college for many years, and feeling secretly glad that +he, in turn, had been spying. + +"Well, then," he repeated, "you should be aware that we know _absolutely +nothing_ about the children we enroll. Most of them are infants. We do +not know who their parents were, or where they were born. Except for the +obvious clues which their bodies furnish, we do not even know their +national or racial origins. + +"We bring them up with absolutely equal treatment--the finest of +everything. At the age of five we divide them arbitrarily into classes +and begin training them for occupations. Some we educate as scholars, +some laborers, some professional men. In me, dear friend, you see one of +the triumphs of our methods. I myself was a foundling--raised and +educated in the School of Environment. Whatever I may be, I owe to the +School." + +He paused to give Smithy a chance to digest the statement. + +"Of course," Possy continued, "we take into consideration such factors +as physical build and muscular development. We don't train undersized +boys to be freight handlers. But in general the division is arbitrary. +And you'd be amazed how they respond to it. To keep a check on things, +we interview our students twice a year to see how much they have +learned. + +"We always ask them what they want to be when they grow up. That enables +us to determine whether or not the training is really taking hold. +Occasionally, it is true, we find a case where the schooling seems to +run counter to natural aptitudes--" + +Smithy could not resist interrupting. "Natural aptitudes? I am surprised +to hear you use such an expression. I thought you furnished your +students with aptitudes through environmental conditioning." + +Stiffly, Possy retorted, "Sometime we will have a full, objective +discussion of the matter. It is not pertinent at this moment. Of course +I believe in natural, or instinctive aptitudes. But I do not believe +that they are inherited from parents or even from remote ancestors." + +"Cosmic rays, perhaps," needled Smithy, and became instantly sorry when +his friend's face began to redden. Possy didn't believe in cosmic rays, +obviously. Smithy apologized. + +Possy sighed deeply and made a fresh start. "My friend," he said, "in +your work, as I understand it, you learn everything you can about a +student's past--and about his progenitors. By so doing you hope to be +able to predict his future abilities, his likes and dislikes. But what +course do you pursue when you find a boy who just doesn't prove out +according to the prognostications?" + +Smithy mumbled a few evasive words in reply, but refused to be drawn +into giving a positive answer. + +"Never mind," Possy said. "What would you say if you asked a boy what he +liked, or what he wanted to do and his answer concerned something that +never existed, or had never been dreamed of? Something horrible." + +Smithy's eyebrows perked up. He made no attempt to conceal the fact that +his interest had been aroused. + +"What, precisely, do you mean?" he demanded. + +"Just this," Possy said, leaning forward to give emphasis to his words. +"We have a boy who is being trained as a space navigator. He is very +bright. He is of medium build, as a spaceman must be, and he learns +easily and willingly. We are sure now that he will be ready for +pre-space school two years before he reaches the minimum age. Yet, +whenever this boy is asked what he wants to do, he replies, 'I want to +be a Destructor.'" + +Smithy's lips parted. But for a moment he remained completely silent +while his mind stumbled over the strange term. + +"Destructor?" he repeated, at last. + +"Wait," said Possy, "and listen carefully. This boy is now ten years +old. He first gave me that answer three days ago. He repeated it two +days ago, then yesterday and again today. I had never interviewed him +before. I never interview a student personally until the tenth year--so +I quite naturally had his files double-checked. Smithy, he's been giving +the same answer ever since he was five years old. Two interviews a year +for six years--and three extra ones this week! Imagine! Fifteen times +this boy has said he wants to be a Destructor--and no one even knows +what a Destructor is." + +"Well," Smithy said with a shrug, convinced that Possy was getting all +excited over nothing, "I admit it seems strange--and highly +single-minded for so young a boy. But don't you imagine it's some word +he just made up?" + +"I admitted that as a possibility until this morning. But look here." + +Possy reached behind his chair and took up a small leather bag. Slowly +he unzipped it and delved inside. Then, with a grim flourish, he brought +forth the body of a cat. + +As Smithy's eyes widened, Possy said dramatically: "Smithy, that boy +killed this cat with a _glance_." + +"With a--a what?" + +"A glance! You heard me correctly. He just looked at the cat, and the +beast dropped dead. And he did it to other things, too--a sparrow, a +baby fox. Why, he even did it to a rat that had been cornered by this +very cat. + +"I tell you, I had never been so shaken by anything in all my life. I +said to myself, 'Possy, have you got yourself a mutant?' 'No,' I +replied. 'He's completely normal in every respect, physically and +otherwise. He's a bit brighter than average, perhaps--ninety-eight six +in his studies, including elementary astrophysics. He speaks +brilliantly, composes poetry, even invents little gadgets. He's a +genius, maybe, but not a mutant.' Then I asked myself, 'how do you +account for the cat?'" + +Possy paused, inferentially transferring the question to his friend. + +"I can't account for the cat," Smithy said. "Unless we assume its death +was a coincidence. But I confess you've aroused my curiosity. Could I +see and talk to this boy who wants to be a--" he grimaced--"a +Destructor?" + +"I'm glad you asked." Possy sighed with relief. "Actually he is outside +now, waiting to join us. But I must warn you that you'll find him quite +precocious. However, he's extremely amenable." + +Possy went quickly to the door, opened it and called, "Herbux, come in." + +The boy entered. He was, Smithy observed, a quite ordinary-looking boy. +He was so obviously ten years old that you couldn't say he was either +old or young, large or small, fat or thin or anything else, "for his +age." He was just ten years old and a boy. + +"Herbux," said Possy, "I want you to meet a friend of mine--the famous +Dr. Smithlawn." + +"How do you do, sir," Herbux said politely. + +"How do _you_ do," returned Smithy. He had already decided not to be +patronizing, but to take a bold, frank, comradely course with the lad. + +"Herbux," he said, "Professor von Possenfeller has been telling me the +story of your life. Now you tell me, Herbux. Not _what_ you want to be +when you grow up, but _why_." + +"I don't know why, sir," Herbux replied easily. "I only know that I want +to be a Destructor." + +"But, Herbux, what _is_ a Destructor?" + +Herbux looked around the room. He saw Smithy's birdcage, walked over to +it and stared for a moment quietly at Dicky, the doctor's parakeet. + +Dicky looked back, chirped angrily twice and toppled from his perch. He +landed on his back, his tiny feet rigid and unmoving. He was quite dead, +Smithy observed, with a sudden, detached, unbelieving horror. Why, Dicky +was seven years old and he had been as good a pet as any lonely old +professor could have desired as a cheery avian companion. + +"Look here, young man," he began sternly. Then, as the shock passed, he +hastily changed his tone. Suppose this child _did_ have some strange +sort of power--mystic perhaps, but definitely abnormal. He may belong in +the School of the Future, Smithy thought. Or perhaps in the School of +the Past--the Dark Ages Department. But not here! + +"Don't worry, sir," Herbux said. "I can't do it to you." + +"But--do _what_?" Smithy cried. "What did you do?" + +"I destructed." + +Smithy took a deep breath. He felt as though a cruel hoax had been +played on him. After all, Possy could have lied about the cat and the +other creatures. And the boy was quite obviously bright enough to learn +lines and play a part. But how explain Dicky? + +He tried to calculate the coincidental odds that might have caused Dicky +to die a natural death at one precise instant in time under unusual and +exact circumstances. They proved to be incalculable to his +unmathematical brain. He rubbed his face with the palms of both hands. +Then he turned abruptly to Possy. + +"I just don't know what to say about it," he explained. "How _could_ I +know? How could anybody know?" + +He faced the boy again. "Look here, Herbux. This--this power of yours. +When did you first notice you had it?" + +"Last year, sir. I always knew I would do it sometime. But one day I was +looking at a bird perched on my windowsill, and it fell over dead, just +as your parakeet did. I thought it was an accident or a coincidence. But +then the next day it happened again--with a squirrel. Soon I got to +where I could do it on purpose. But I don't know how." + +"Well, how do you _feel_ about it? Do you _want_ to kill these harmless +pets?" + +"Oh, no, sir. I don't want to _kill_ them. I just want to be a +Destructor." + +Smithy had a sudden, disquieting conviction that he was in the presence +of some completely alien, dangerous being. A cold breeze seemed to +shiver through the room, though he knew that his quarters were airtight +and perfectly ventilated. _This is ridiculous_, he told himself, +turning to Possy with a helpless shrug. To feel like this over such a +nice-looking young lad ... + +"My friend," he said, "all this has occurred so suddenly I must have +time to think. Such a thing could never have happened in _my_ school. +Perhaps you should--but doubtless it has already occurred to you--turn +him over to physio-psychological rebuilding?" + +Possy nodded. "It has, of course. But then I said to myself, 'Possy, +they are a bunch of dunderheaded old fossils over there. They can take a +criminal and tear him apart and make a good citizen out of him, granted. +But do they find out _why_ he was a criminal? Have they reduced the +number of new criminals? No. And they would not find out why this boy +wants to be a Destructor--nor even what a Destructor is.' + +"'You're right,' I told myself. 'And besides, Herbux is a nice boy. Why, +with this power of his--if he _wanted_ to do harm--there wouldn't be an +animal left alive around the whole University. And if he could do it to +people he's had many an opportunity to practice on me. But has he? No, +not once. Besides, if you keep him in school, you can maintain a good +close watch over him. Herbux has promised to keep me fully informed as +to the progress of his strange power. If he feels it getting stronger, +he will let me know immediately.' Isn't that right, Herbux?" + +"Yes, sir," said the boy quietly. + +"You are quite sure," Smithy asked, "that you know absolutely nothing +about this boy's past? His parents, his birthplace--anything at all? +There must be _some_ clue." + +"You know very well I don't," Possy retorted angrily. + +"I just thought that perhaps you might have subjected him to +hypno-research," Smithy said, placatingly. + +"I wouldn't dream of such a thing--" Possy began--and stopped with a +gasp. "How did you know about that?" he demanded. + +Smithy was flustered. "I--well, that is--" He could think of no +convincing answer. Hypno-research was one of Possy's most secret +projects. He had used it constantly in his efforts to determine reasons +for non-conformity to set patterns of behavior in some of his more +recalcitrant students. He had kept it a secret because it added up to an +admission that perhaps heredity could play a part in the development of +a student's character. + +"Smithy, my dear old friend," he said with mock humility. "This is no +time for us to quarrel. Let us face the facts candidly. You have been +spying on my school--and I in turn have been spying on yours. I know, +for instance, that when your students don't behave the way their +heredity charts predict you often use hypno-therapy to change their +thought-lines, and force them to conform. Is that any less fair than +what I do?" + +Smithy sighed. "I guess not, my friend. No, wait. I will go farther than +that. It is not a matter of guessing. I am quite certain about it. We +are a couple of aging frauds, struggling selfishly along, playing with +the lives of these children solely to keep our jobs. Perhaps we +should--" + +"Nevertheless, we have a problem," interrupted Possy. "It's a problem +that won't be solved by our becoming senile idiots. Get your mind back +on Herbux, and help me. I feel this is a most desperate situation. If it +gets beyond just the two of us, we are likely to be thoroughly +investigated. Then goodness knows what would happen." + +"But why? The child can do no real harm. Suppose he does 'destruct' an +animal or two? There are plenty more. And sooner or later they would die +of natural causes, anyway. And it's unthinkable that he could ever do it +to--to people ..." + +Smithy paused, obviously struck by a startling thought. He turned to +Herbux. "Boy," he said, quite sternly. "Come here." + +Herbux obeyed, advancing to within a foot of the old doctor and facing +him squarely. + +"Look me in the eyes," Smithy commanded. + +Questioningly, Herbux began to stare at Smithy. + +"Well," Smithy said, after a time, "turn it on." + +A set look came over Herbux's face. His lips were compressed and a thin +dew of sweat had broken out on his forehead. + +Possy stood aghast, slowly comprehending what his old friend Smithy was +doing. He was actually risking his life--or so he believed--to prove +that the child could not destruct a human being. He wanted to stop the +boy, but he could not move from where he stood. + +Suddenly Herbux broke and turned away. He began to sob. + +"It's no use!" he cried. "I can't do it. I just can't do it ..." + +Smithy went to him and put an arm on his shoulders. + +"Tell me, boy," he exclaimed. "What do you mean? Do you mean that you +can't _bring yourself_ to do it, or that it is physically impossible?" + +Herbux just stood there, his head bowed, crying wildly. + +"I just can't do it," he repeated, sounding now completely heart-broken. + +Possy, coming alive again, said soothingly, "Don't cry, son. It's not +bad. It's good, that you can't do it." + +Herbux whirled around, facing Possy, his face inflamed with a sudden +rage. + +"But I will," he screamed, "I will do it! I will! _When I grow up!_" + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from _Fantastic Universe_ September 1956. + Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and + typographical errors have been corrected without note. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of When I Grow Up, by Richard E. 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