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diff --git a/28953.txt b/28953.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d37bdc0 --- /dev/null +++ b/28953.txt @@ -0,0 +1,844 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of When I Grow Up, by Richard E. Lowe + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: When I Grow Up + +Author: Richard E. Lowe + +Release Date: May 24, 2009 [EBook #28953] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHEN I GROW UP *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + _A good many science fiction writers seem determined to depict + children as little monsters. Not all children perhaps, and not with + completely merciless regularity. But often enough to make us + shudder. Only Richard Lowe remains independent. The youngster of + this story isn't a child monster at all. He's just--a "destructor." + And that in itself is somehow unimaginably terrifying!_ + + + when + i + grow + up + + _by ... Richard E. Lowe_ + + + The two professors couldn't agree on the fundamentals of + child behavior. But that was before they met little Herbux! + + +The University sprawled casually, unashamed of its disordered ranks, +over a hundred thousand acres of grassy, rolling countryside. It was the +year A.D. 3896, and the vast assemblage of schools and colleges and +laboratories had been growing on this site for more than two thousand +years. + +It had survived political and industrial revolutions, local +insurrections, global, inter-terrestrial and nuclear wars, and it had +become the acknowledged center of learning for the entire known +universe. + +No subject was too small to escape attention at the University. None was +too large to be attacked by the fearless, probing fingers of curiosity, +or to in any way over-awe students and teachers in this great +institution of learning. + +No book was ever closed in the University and no clue, however tiny, was +discarded as useless in the ceaseless search for knowledge which was the +University's prime and overriding goal. + +For no matter how fast and far the spaceships might fly, or what strange +creatures might be brought back across the great curve of the universe +or how deeply the past was resurrected or the future probed, of one +thing only was the University quite sure--_man did not know enough_. + +All manner of schools had come into being at the University, and often +they functioned in pairs, one devoted to proving a proposition, and the +other to disproving it. And among these pairs of schools two, in +particular, seemed to exist on a most tenuous basis. Their avowed +mission was to settle the age-old argument concerning the relative +influences of heredity and environment. + +One, headed by Professor Miltcheck von Possenfeller, worked tirelessly +to prove that there was no such determining factor as heredity, and that +environment alone was the governing influence in human behavior. + +The other, under the direction of Dr. Arthur D. Smithlawn, was dedicated +to the task of proving that environment meant nothing, and that only +heredity was important. + +Success, in short, could only come to those who were born with the genes +of success in their bodies, and failure was as preordained for the rest +as was ultimate death for all. + +Over a period of more than two hundred years the School of Environment +had been taking babies from among the thousands of homeless waifs +gathered in throughout the universe, and raising them carefully in a +closely supervised, cultural atmosphere. + +The School of Heredity, on the other hand, was more select. Its pupils +came only from families whose genealogy could be traced back for at +least a thousand years. Freedom of choice and expression was the rule +here, since the school was attempting to prove that a child's inherited +tendencies will send it inevitably along a predetermined path, +completely uninfluenced by outside help or hindrance. + +In two centuries neither school had been able to develop an overpowering +case in support of its own theory. Hence they both thrived, and +cheerfully ignored the discrepancies which existed in the case records +of individuals who had not turned out according to the book. + +Although they were zealous professional rivals, Prof. von Possenfeller +and Dr. Smithlawn were devoted personal friends. They called each other +Possy and Smithy and got together once a week to play chess and exchange +views on the universe in general. Only one subject was taboo between +them--their experimental work. + +On this particular Saturday night, however, Smithy noticed that his good +friend Possy was terribly agitated and disturbed, and had for the third +time carelessly put his queen in jeopardy. + +"My dear friend," exclaimed Possy, blindly moving his king into check. +"Could you possibly be persuaded to ignore for the moment our ban on +professional talk? There is something--" + +Smithy, secretly, was only too anxious to talk at great length. But he +pretended to give the request serious consideration. + +"If it is really important," he said. "Yes, by all means. Go right +ahead." + +"Smithy," Possy plunged on, "I am nonplussed. I am really, terribly +disturbed. I've never felt like this before." + +Smithy waited patiently while Possy poured himself a large brandy and +soda, hastily gulped it down, and made a face as he regretted the +action. + +"How much do you know about our methods of working in the School of +Environment?" the professor asked, taking a new tack. + +"Nothing, of course," replied Smithy. The statement was not precisely +true, but Smithy was not yet ready to confess that he had spies in his +friend's school. + +"Well, then," said Possy, knowing full well that Smithy had been getting +reports on his college for many years, and feeling secretly glad that +he, in turn, had been spying. + +"Well, then," he repeated, "you should be aware that we know _absolutely +nothing_ about the children we enroll. Most of them are infants. We do +not know who their parents were, or where they were born. Except for the +obvious clues which their bodies furnish, we do not even know their +national or racial origins. + +"We bring them up with absolutely equal treatment--the finest of +everything. At the age of five we divide them arbitrarily into classes +and begin training them for occupations. Some we educate as scholars, +some laborers, some professional men. In me, dear friend, you see one of +the triumphs of our methods. I myself was a foundling--raised and +educated in the School of Environment. Whatever I may be, I owe to the +School." + +He paused to give Smithy a chance to digest the statement. + +"Of course," Possy continued, "we take into consideration such factors +as physical build and muscular development. We don't train undersized +boys to be freight handlers. But in general the division is arbitrary. +And you'd be amazed how they respond to it. To keep a check on things, +we interview our students twice a year to see how much they have +learned. + +"We always ask them what they want to be when they grow up. That enables +us to determine whether or not the training is really taking hold. +Occasionally, it is true, we find a case where the schooling seems to +run counter to natural aptitudes--" + +Smithy could not resist interrupting. "Natural aptitudes? I am surprised +to hear you use such an expression. I thought you furnished your +students with aptitudes through environmental conditioning." + +Stiffly, Possy retorted, "Sometime we will have a full, objective +discussion of the matter. It is not pertinent at this moment. Of course +I believe in natural, or instinctive aptitudes. But I do not believe +that they are inherited from parents or even from remote ancestors." + +"Cosmic rays, perhaps," needled Smithy, and became instantly sorry when +his friend's face began to redden. Possy didn't believe in cosmic rays, +obviously. Smithy apologized. + +Possy sighed deeply and made a fresh start. "My friend," he said, "in +your work, as I understand it, you learn everything you can about a +student's past--and about his progenitors. By so doing you hope to be +able to predict his future abilities, his likes and dislikes. But what +course do you pursue when you find a boy who just doesn't prove out +according to the prognostications?" + +Smithy mumbled a few evasive words in reply, but refused to be drawn +into giving a positive answer. + +"Never mind," Possy said. "What would you say if you asked a boy what he +liked, or what he wanted to do and his answer concerned something that +never existed, or had never been dreamed of? Something horrible." + +Smithy's eyebrows perked up. He made no attempt to conceal the fact that +his interest had been aroused. + +"What, precisely, do you mean?" he demanded. + +"Just this," Possy said, leaning forward to give emphasis to his words. +"We have a boy who is being trained as a space navigator. He is very +bright. He is of medium build, as a spaceman must be, and he learns +easily and willingly. We are sure now that he will be ready for +pre-space school two years before he reaches the minimum age. Yet, +whenever this boy is asked what he wants to do, he replies, 'I want to +be a Destructor.'" + +Smithy's lips parted. But for a moment he remained completely silent +while his mind stumbled over the strange term. + +"Destructor?" he repeated, at last. + +"Wait," said Possy, "and listen carefully. This boy is now ten years +old. He first gave me that answer three days ago. He repeated it two +days ago, then yesterday and again today. I had never interviewed him +before. I never interview a student personally until the tenth year--so +I quite naturally had his files double-checked. Smithy, he's been giving +the same answer ever since he was five years old. Two interviews a year +for six years--and three extra ones this week! Imagine! Fifteen times +this boy has said he wants to be a Destructor--and no one even knows +what a Destructor is." + +"Well," Smithy said with a shrug, convinced that Possy was getting all +excited over nothing, "I admit it seems strange--and highly +single-minded for so young a boy. But don't you imagine it's some word +he just made up?" + +"I admitted that as a possibility until this morning. But look here." + +Possy reached behind his chair and took up a small leather bag. Slowly +he unzipped it and delved inside. Then, with a grim flourish, he brought +forth the body of a cat. + +As Smithy's eyes widened, Possy said dramatically: "Smithy, that boy +killed this cat with a _glance_." + +"With a--a what?" + +"A glance! You heard me correctly. He just looked at the cat, and the +beast dropped dead. And he did it to other things, too--a sparrow, a +baby fox. Why, he even did it to a rat that had been cornered by this +very cat. + +"I tell you, I had never been so shaken by anything in all my life. I +said to myself, 'Possy, have you got yourself a mutant?' 'No,' I +replied. 'He's completely normal in every respect, physically and +otherwise. He's a bit brighter than average, perhaps--ninety-eight six +in his studies, including elementary astrophysics. He speaks +brilliantly, composes poetry, even invents little gadgets. He's a +genius, maybe, but not a mutant.' Then I asked myself, 'how do you +account for the cat?'" + +Possy paused, inferentially transferring the question to his friend. + +"I can't account for the cat," Smithy said. "Unless we assume its death +was a coincidence. But I confess you've aroused my curiosity. Could I +see and talk to this boy who wants to be a--" he grimaced--"a +Destructor?" + +"I'm glad you asked." Possy sighed with relief. "Actually he is outside +now, waiting to join us. But I must warn you that you'll find him quite +precocious. However, he's extremely amenable." + +Possy went quickly to the door, opened it and called, "Herbux, come in." + +The boy entered. He was, Smithy observed, a quite ordinary-looking boy. +He was so obviously ten years old that you couldn't say he was either +old or young, large or small, fat or thin or anything else, "for his +age." He was just ten years old and a boy. + +"Herbux," said Possy, "I want you to meet a friend of mine--the famous +Dr. Smithlawn." + +"How do you do, sir," Herbux said politely. + +"How do _you_ do," returned Smithy. He had already decided not to be +patronizing, but to take a bold, frank, comradely course with the lad. + +"Herbux," he said, "Professor von Possenfeller has been telling me the +story of your life. Now you tell me, Herbux. Not _what_ you want to be +when you grow up, but _why_." + +"I don't know why, sir," Herbux replied easily. "I only know that I want +to be a Destructor." + +"But, Herbux, what _is_ a Destructor?" + +Herbux looked around the room. He saw Smithy's birdcage, walked over to +it and stared for a moment quietly at Dicky, the doctor's parakeet. + +Dicky looked back, chirped angrily twice and toppled from his perch. He +landed on his back, his tiny feet rigid and unmoving. He was quite dead, +Smithy observed, with a sudden, detached, unbelieving horror. Why, Dicky +was seven years old and he had been as good a pet as any lonely old +professor could have desired as a cheery avian companion. + +"Look here, young man," he began sternly. Then, as the shock passed, he +hastily changed his tone. Suppose this child _did_ have some strange +sort of power--mystic perhaps, but definitely abnormal. He may belong in +the School of the Future, Smithy thought. Or perhaps in the School of +the Past--the Dark Ages Department. But not here! + +"Don't worry, sir," Herbux said. "I can't do it to you." + +"But--do _what_?" Smithy cried. "What did you do?" + +"I destructed." + +Smithy took a deep breath. He felt as though a cruel hoax had been +played on him. After all, Possy could have lied about the cat and the +other creatures. And the boy was quite obviously bright enough to learn +lines and play a part. But how explain Dicky? + +He tried to calculate the coincidental odds that might have caused Dicky +to die a natural death at one precise instant in time under unusual and +exact circumstances. They proved to be incalculable to his +unmathematical brain. He rubbed his face with the palms of both hands. +Then he turned abruptly to Possy. + +"I just don't know what to say about it," he explained. "How _could_ I +know? How could anybody know?" + +He faced the boy again. "Look here, Herbux. This--this power of yours. +When did you first notice you had it?" + +"Last year, sir. I always knew I would do it sometime. But one day I was +looking at a bird perched on my windowsill, and it fell over dead, just +as your parakeet did. I thought it was an accident or a coincidence. But +then the next day it happened again--with a squirrel. Soon I got to +where I could do it on purpose. But I don't know how." + +"Well, how do you _feel_ about it? Do you _want_ to kill these harmless +pets?" + +"Oh, no, sir. I don't want to _kill_ them. I just want to be a +Destructor." + +Smithy had a sudden, disquieting conviction that he was in the presence +of some completely alien, dangerous being. A cold breeze seemed to +shiver through the room, though he knew that his quarters were airtight +and perfectly ventilated. _This is ridiculous_, he told himself, +turning to Possy with a helpless shrug. To feel like this over such a +nice-looking young lad ... + +"My friend," he said, "all this has occurred so suddenly I must have +time to think. Such a thing could never have happened in _my_ school. +Perhaps you should--but doubtless it has already occurred to you--turn +him over to physio-psychological rebuilding?" + +Possy nodded. "It has, of course. But then I said to myself, 'Possy, +they are a bunch of dunderheaded old fossils over there. They can take a +criminal and tear him apart and make a good citizen out of him, granted. +But do they find out _why_ he was a criminal? Have they reduced the +number of new criminals? No. And they would not find out why this boy +wants to be a Destructor--nor even what a Destructor is.' + +"'You're right,' I told myself. 'And besides, Herbux is a nice boy. Why, +with this power of his--if he _wanted_ to do harm--there wouldn't be an +animal left alive around the whole University. And if he could do it to +people he's had many an opportunity to practice on me. But has he? No, +not once. Besides, if you keep him in school, you can maintain a good +close watch over him. Herbux has promised to keep me fully informed as +to the progress of his strange power. If he feels it getting stronger, +he will let me know immediately.' Isn't that right, Herbux?" + +"Yes, sir," said the boy quietly. + +"You are quite sure," Smithy asked, "that you know absolutely nothing +about this boy's past? His parents, his birthplace--anything at all? +There must be _some_ clue." + +"You know very well I don't," Possy retorted angrily. + +"I just thought that perhaps you might have subjected him to +hypno-research," Smithy said, placatingly. + +"I wouldn't dream of such a thing--" Possy began--and stopped with a +gasp. "How did you know about that?" he demanded. + +Smithy was flustered. "I--well, that is--" He could think of no +convincing answer. Hypno-research was one of Possy's most secret +projects. He had used it constantly in his efforts to determine reasons +for non-conformity to set patterns of behavior in some of his more +recalcitrant students. He had kept it a secret because it added up to an +admission that perhaps heredity could play a part in the development of +a student's character. + +"Smithy, my dear old friend," he said with mock humility. "This is no +time for us to quarrel. Let us face the facts candidly. You have been +spying on my school--and I in turn have been spying on yours. I know, +for instance, that when your students don't behave the way their +heredity charts predict you often use hypno-therapy to change their +thought-lines, and force them to conform. Is that any less fair than +what I do?" + +Smithy sighed. "I guess not, my friend. No, wait. I will go farther than +that. It is not a matter of guessing. I am quite certain about it. We +are a couple of aging frauds, struggling selfishly along, playing with +the lives of these children solely to keep our jobs. Perhaps we +should--" + +"Nevertheless, we have a problem," interrupted Possy. "It's a problem +that won't be solved by our becoming senile idiots. Get your mind back +on Herbux, and help me. I feel this is a most desperate situation. If it +gets beyond just the two of us, we are likely to be thoroughly +investigated. Then goodness knows what would happen." + +"But why? The child can do no real harm. Suppose he does 'destruct' an +animal or two? There are plenty more. And sooner or later they would die +of natural causes, anyway. And it's unthinkable that he could ever do it +to--to people ..." + +Smithy paused, obviously struck by a startling thought. He turned to +Herbux. "Boy," he said, quite sternly. "Come here." + +Herbux obeyed, advancing to within a foot of the old doctor and facing +him squarely. + +"Look me in the eyes," Smithy commanded. + +Questioningly, Herbux began to stare at Smithy. + +"Well," Smithy said, after a time, "turn it on." + +A set look came over Herbux's face. His lips were compressed and a thin +dew of sweat had broken out on his forehead. + +Possy stood aghast, slowly comprehending what his old friend Smithy was +doing. He was actually risking his life--or so he believed--to prove +that the child could not destruct a human being. He wanted to stop the +boy, but he could not move from where he stood. + +Suddenly Herbux broke and turned away. He began to sob. + +"It's no use!" he cried. "I can't do it. I just can't do it ..." + +Smithy went to him and put an arm on his shoulders. + +"Tell me, boy," he exclaimed. "What do you mean? Do you mean that you +can't _bring yourself_ to do it, or that it is physically impossible?" + +Herbux just stood there, his head bowed, crying wildly. + +"I just can't do it," he repeated, sounding now completely heart-broken. + +Possy, coming alive again, said soothingly, "Don't cry, son. It's not +bad. It's good, that you can't do it." + +Herbux whirled around, facing Possy, his face inflamed with a sudden +rage. + +"But I will," he screamed, "I will do it! I will! _When I grow up!_" + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from _Fantastic Universe_ September 1956. + Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and + typographical errors have been corrected without note. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of When I Grow Up, by Richard E. 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