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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30411 ***
+
+  English
+  As She is Spoke:
+
+  or
+
+  A Jest in Sober Earnest.
+
+  No. I.
+
+  The Parchment Paper Series.
+
+  _English As She is Spoke._
+
+"EXCRUCIATINGLY FUNNY," says _The World_, is "English as she is
+Spoke, or a Jest in Sober thought."
+
+  --
+
+"EVERY one who loves a laugh," says _Fun_, "should either buy, beg,
+borrow, or--we had almost said steal--this book; for in sober earnest
+we aver that it is not given to every one to 'jest so.'"
+
+  English
+  As She is Spoke:
+
+  or
+
+  A Jest in Sober Earnest.
+
+  With an Introduction by
+
+  JAMES MILLINGTON.
+
+  ***
+
+  New York: D. Appleton & Co., 1, 3, & 5 Bond Street.
+
+  1884.
+
+  * Introduction *
+
+  **
+
+_FROM_ the time of Shakspere downwards, wits and authors innumerable
+have made themselves and the public more or less merry at the expense
+of the earlier efforts of the student of a strange tongue; but it has
+been reserved to our own time for a _soi disant_ instructor to
+perpetrate--at his own expense--the monstrous joke of publishing a
+Guide to Conversation in a language of which it is only too evident
+that every word is utterly strange to him. The Teutonic sage who
+evolved the ideal portrait of an elephant from his "inner
+consciousness" was a commonplace, matter-of fact person compared with
+the daring visionary who conjures up a complete system of language
+from the same fertile but untrustworthy source. The piquancy of
+Senhor Pedro Carolino's _New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese
+and English_ is enhanced by the evident _bona fides_ and careful
+compilation of "the little book," or as Pedro himself gravely
+expresses it, "for the care what we wrote him, and for her
+typographical correction."
+
+In short, the _New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and
+English_ was written with serious intent, and for the purpose of
+initiating Portuguese students into the mysteries of the English
+language. The earlier portions of the book are divided into three
+columns, the first giving the Portuguese; the second what, in the
+opinion of the author, is the English equivalent; and the third the
+English equivalent phonetically spelt, so that the tyro may at the
+same time master our barbarous phraseology and the pronunciation
+thereof. In the second part of the work the learner is supposed to
+have sufficiently mastered the pronunciation of the English language,
+to be left to his own devices.
+
+A little consideration of the shaping of our author's English phrases
+leads to the conclusion that the materials used have been a
+Portuguese-French phrase-book and a French-English dictionary. With
+these slight impedimenta has the daring Lusitanian ventured upon the
+unknown deep of a strange language, and the result, to quote again
+from the Preface, "May be worth the acceptation of the studious
+persons, and especially of the Youth, at which we dedicate him
+particularly," but will at all events contribute not a little to the
+Youth's hilarity.
+
+To begin with the vocabulary; it is perhaps hardly fair to expect a
+professor of languages to trouble himself with "Degrees of Kindred,"
+still, such titles as "Gossip mistress, a relation, an relation, a
+guardian, an guardian, the quatergrandfather, the quater-grandmother,"
+require some slight elucidation, and passing over the catalogue of
+articles of dress which are denominated "Objects of Man" and "Woman
+Objects," one may take exception to "crumbs" and "groceries," which
+are inserted among plates and cruets as ordinary table garniture.
+
+Among what are denominated "Eatings" we find "some wigs," "a dainty
+dishes," "a mutton shoulder," "a little mine," "hog-fat," and "an
+amelet": the _menu_ is scarcely appetising, especially when among
+"Fishes and Shellfishes" our Portuguese Lucullus sets down the
+"hedgehog," "snail," and "wolf." After this such trifles as "starch"
+arranged under the heading of "Metals and Minerals," and "brick" and
+"whitelead" under that of "Common Stones" fall almost flat; but one
+would like to be initiated into the mysteries of "gleek," "carousal,"
+and "keel," which are gravely asserted to be "Games." Among "Chivalry
+Orders" one has a glimmering of what is intended by "Saint
+Michaelmas" and "Very-Merit"; but under the heading of "Degrees,"
+although by a slight exercise of the imagination we can picture to
+ourselves "a quater master," "a general to galeries," or even a
+"vessel captain," we are entirely nonplussed by "a harbinger" and "a
+parapet."
+
+Passing on to "Familiar Phrases," most of which appear to be old
+friends with new faces, Senhor Carolino's literal cribs from the
+French become more and more apparent, in spite of his boast in the
+Preface of being "clean of gallicisms and despoiled phrases." "Apply
+you at the study during that you are young" is doubtless an excellent
+precept, and as he remarks further on "How do you can it to deny";
+but study may be misdirected, and in the moral, no less than in the
+material world, it is useful to know. "That are the dishes whom you
+must be and to abstain"; while the meaning of "This girl have a
+beauty edge" is scarcely clear unless it relates to the preternatural
+acuteness of the fair sex in these days of board schools and woman's
+rights.
+
+Further on the conversationalist appears to get into rough company,
+and we find him remarking "He laughs at my nose, he jest by me,"
+gallicé "_Il me rit au nez, il se moque de moi_"; "He has me take out
+my hairs," "He does me some kicks," "He has scratch the face with
+hers nails," all doubtless painfully translated with the assistance
+of a French-English dictionary from "_Il m'a arraché les cheveux_,"
+"_Il me donne des coups-de-pied_," "_Il m'a lacere la figure de ses
+ongles_." It is noticeable that our instructor as a rule endeavours
+to make the possessive pronoun agree with the substantive in number
+and gender in orthodox Portuguese fashion, and that like a true
+grammatical patriot he insists upon the substantive having the same
+gender as in his native tongue; therefore "_às unhas_" must be
+rendered "hers nails" and "_vóssas civilidádes_" "yours civilities."
+By this time no one will be disposed to contradict our inimitable
+Pedro when he remarks "_E factéo_" giving the translation as "He has
+the word for to laugh," a construction bearing a suspicious
+resemblance to "_Il a le mot pour rire._" "He do the devil at four"
+has no reference to an artful scheme for circumventing the Archfiend
+at a stated hour, but is merely a simulacrum of the well-known gallic
+idiomatic expression "_Il fait le diable à quatre._" Truly this is
+excellent fooling; _Punch_ in his wildest humour, backed by the whole
+colony of Leicester Square, could not produce funnier English.
+"He burns one's self the brains," "He was fighted in duel," "They
+fight one's selfs together," "He do want to fall," would be more
+intelligible if less picturesque in their original form of "_Il se
+brûle la cervelle_," "_Il s'cet battu en duel_," "_lis se battent
+ensemble_," "_Il manque de tomber_." The comic vein running through
+the "Familiar Phrases" is so inexhaustible that space forbids further
+quotation from this portion of the book, which may be appropriately
+closed with "Help to a little most the better yours terms," a
+mysterious adjuration, which a reference to the original Portuguese
+leads one to suppose may be a daring guess at "_Choisissez un pen
+mieux vos paroles_."
+
+In the second part, entitled "Familiar Dialogues," the fun grows fast
+and furious. Let us accompany our mad wag upon "The walk." "You hear
+the bird's gurgling?" he enquires, and then rapturously exclaims
+"Which pleasure! which charm! The field has by me a thousand
+charms"; after this, to the question "Are you hunter? Will you go to
+the hunting in one day this week?" he responds "Willingly; I have not
+a most pleasure in the world. There is some game on they cantons."
+Proceeding from "game" to "gaming" we soon run aground upon the word
+"_jeu_," which as we know does duty in French both for a game and a
+pack of cards. "At what pack will you that we does play?" "To the
+cards." Of course this is "_A quel Jeu voulez vous que nous
+Jouions?_" "_Aux cartes_;" and further on "This time I have a great
+deal pack," "_Cette fois j'ai un jeu excellent!_"
+
+Now let us listen to our friend at his tailor's: his greeting is
+perky--almost slangy. "Can you do me a coat?" he enquires, but
+quickly drivels down to "What cloth will you do to?" and then to the
+question "What will you to double (_doubler_) the coat?" obtains the
+satisfactory answer "From something of duration. I believe to you
+that." After requesting to have his garment "The rather that be
+possible," he overwhelms the procrastinating man of cloth with the
+stern remark "You have me done to expect too," evidently a bold
+version of "_Vous m' avez fait trop attendre_," which draws forth the
+natural excuse "I did can't to come rather." Passing by a number of
+good things which one would like to analyse if space permitted, we
+arrive at "For to ride a horse," a fine little bit of word painting
+almost Carlylean in its grotesqueness. "Here is a horse who have a
+ bad looks. He not sail know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered.
+Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? he is unshoed, he is
+with nails up; it want to lead to the farrier." "Let us prick
+(_piquons_) go us more fast, never I was seen a so much bad beast;
+she will not nor to bring forward neither put back." "Strek him the
+bridle," cries the horsedealer, "Hold him the rein sharters." "Pique
+stron gly, make to marsh him." "I have pricked him enough. But
+I can't to make marsh him," replies the indignant client. "Go down, I
+shall make marsh," declares the dealer; upon which the incensed
+equestrian rejoins "Take care that he not give you a foot kicks," and
+the "coper" sardonically but somewhat incoherently concludes with
+"Then he kicks for that I look? Sook here if I knew to tame hix."
+
+After the "Familiar Dialogues" we come upon a series of letters from
+celebrated personages, who would be puzzled to recognize themselves
+in their new dresses; and a collection of anecdotes which may be
+taken singly after dinner as a gentle promoter of digestion; the
+whole being appropriately concluded with "Idiotisms and Proverbs,"
+between which it must be confessed the distinction is purely
+imaginary; the following are a few gems: "Its are some blu stories"
+(_contes bleus_); "Nothing some money, nothing some Swiss," "He sin
+in trouble water" (confusion of _pécher_ and _pêcher_). "A horse
+baared don't look him the tooth," "The stone as roll not heap up not
+foam," _mousse_ meaning both foam and moss, of course the wrong
+meaning is essential to a good "idiotism." "To force to forge,
+becomes smith" (_a force de forger on devient forgeron_). "To
+craunch the marmoset" and "To fatten the foot" may terminate the
+list, and are incontestably more idiotic, although scarcely so
+idiomatic as "_Croquer le marmot_" and "_Graisser lapatte_."
+
+The column in Portuguese which runs throughout the original work is
+omitted, and only a sufficient number of the English extracts are
+culled to enable the reader to form a just idea of the
+unintentionally humorous style that an author may fall into who
+attempts to follow the intricacies of "English as she is spoke" by
+the aid of a French dictionary and a phrasebook.
+
+It is to be trusted the eccentric "Guide" to which this short sketch
+is intended to serve as Introduction--and, so far as may be,
+elucidation--is not a fair specimen of Portuguese or Brazilian
+educational literature; if such be the case the schoolmaster is
+indeed "abroad," and one may justly fear that his instruction--to
+quote once more the Preface--"only will be for to accustom the
+Portuguese pupils, or foreign, to speak very bad any of the mentioned
+idioms."
+
+  ***
+
+  Preface.
+
+  [Author's]
+
+_A CHOICE of_ familiar dialogues, _clean of gallicisms, and despoiled
+phrases, it was missing yet to studious Portuguese and brazilian
+Youth; and also to persons of others nations, that wish to know the
+Portuguese language. We sought all we may do, to correct that want,
+composing and divising the present little work in two parts. The
+first includes a greatest vocabulary proper names by alphabetical
+order; and the second forty three_ Dialogues _adapted to the usual
+precisions of the life. For that reason we did put, with a scrupulous
+exactness, a great variety own expressions to english and Portuguese
+idioms; without to attach us selves (as make some others) almost at a
+literal translation; translation what only will be for to accustom
+the Portuguese pupils, or-foreign, to speak very bad any of the
+mentioned idioms._
+
+_We were increasing this second edition with a phraseology, in the
+first part, and some familiar letters, anecdotes, idiotisms,
+proverbs, and to second a coin's index._
+
+_The_ Works _which we were confering for this labour, fond use us for
+nothing; but those what were publishing to Portugal, or out, they
+were almost all composed for some foreign, or for some national
+little acquainted in the spirit of both languages. It was resulting
+from that carelessness to rest these_ Works _fill of imperfections,
+and anomalies of style; in spite of the infinite typographical faults
+which some times, invert the sense of the periods. It increase not to
+contain any of those_ Works _the figured pronunciation of the english
+words, nor the prosodical accent in the Portuguese; indispensable
+object whom wish to speak the english and Portuguese languages
+correctly._
+
+_We expect then, who the little book (for the care what we wrote him,
+and for her typographical correction) that may be worth the
+acceptation of the studious persons, and especially of the Youth, at
+which we dedicate him particularly._
+
+  ***
+
+  _English as she is spoke._
+
+  **
+
+                       Of the Man.
+
+  The Brain                 | The inferior lip
+  The brains                | The superior lip
+  The fat of the Leg        | The marrow
+  The ham                   | The reins
+
+                   Defects of the body.
+
+  A blind                   | A left handed
+  A lame                    | An ugly
+  A bald                    | A squint-eyed
+                        A deaf
+
+                    Degrees of kindred.
+
+  The gossip                | the quater-grandfather
+  The gossip mistress       | The quater-grandmother
+  The Nurse                 | A guardian
+  A relation                | An guardian
+  An relation               | A widower
+                        An widow.
+
+                          Trades.
+
+  Starch-maker              | Porter
+  Barber                    | Chinaman
+  Coffeeman                 | Founder
+  Porkshop-keeper           | Grave-digger
+  Cartwright                | Tradesman
+  Tinker, a brasier         | Stockingmender
+  Nailer                    | Lochsmith
+
+                      Objects of man.
+
+  The boots                 | The lining
+  The buckles               | The clogs
+  The buttons-holes         | The wig
+  The buskins               | the morning-gown, night-gown
+
+                      Woman objects.
+
+  The busk                  | The paint or disguise
+  The sash                  | The spindle
+  The conet                 | The patches
+  The pumps                 | The skate
+
+                        Servants.
+
+  Coochmann                 | Spendth
+  Running footman           | Business-man
+                          Groome.
+
+                        Diseases.
+
+  The apoplexy              | The megrime
+  The scrofulas             | The whitlow
+  The melancholy            | The rheumatisme
+                      The vomitory.
+
+                      Parties a Town.
+
+  The butchery              | The low eating house
+  The cause-way             | The obelis-ks
+  The sink                  | The prison, geol
+
+                      Kitchen utensils.
+
+  The skimming-dish         | The spark
+  The potlid                | The fire
+  The pothanger             | The smoke
+  The spunge                | The clout
+                         The jack.
+
+                        Of the bed.
+
+  The bed wood              | The feet's bed
+  The bed battom            | The pillar's bed
+                      The head's bed.
+
+                      For the table.
+
+  Some knifes               | Some groceries
+                        Some crumb.
+
+                         Eatings.
+
+  Some sugar-plum           | Hog fat
+  Some wigs                 | Some marchpanes
+  A chitterling sausages.   | An amelet
+  A dainty-dishes           | A slice, steak
+  A mutton shoulder         | Vegetables boiled to a pap
+
+                        Seasonings.
+
+  Some wing                 | Some pinions
+  Some cinnamon             | Some hog'slard
+  Some oranges              | Some verjuice
+
+                         Drinkings.
+
+  Some orgeat               | Some paltry wine
+                    Some sirup or sirop
+
+                    Quadruped's beasts.
+
+  Lamb                      | Roebuck
+  Ass                       | Dragon
+  Shi ass                   | wild sow
+  Ass-colt                  | Lioness
+  Ram, aries                | Dormouse
+
+                          Birds.
+
+  Becafico                  | Heuth-cock
+  Calander                  | Whoop
+  Stor                      | Pea cock
+  Yeung turkey              | Pinch
+                    Red-Breast, a robin
+
+                      Insects-reptiles.
+
+  Asp, aspic                | Fly
+  Morpion                   | Butter fly
+                         Serpent.
+
+                  Fishes and shell-fishes.
+
+  Calamary                  | Large lobster
+  Dorado                    | Snail
+  A sorte of fish           | Wolf
+  Hedge hog                 | Torpedo
+                          Sea-calf.
+
+                          Trees.
+
+  Lote-tree lotos           | Service-tree
+  Chest nut-tree            | Jujube-tree
+                        Linden-tree.
+
+Flowers.
+
+  Anemony                   | Mil-foils
+  Blue-bottle               | Hink
+                         Turnsol.
+
+                         Hunting.
+
+  Hunting dog               | Picker
+  Relay dog                 | Gun-powder
+  Hound dog                 | Priming-powder
+  Hound's fee               | Hunts man
+
+                         Colours.
+
+  White                     | Gridelin
+  Cray                      | Musk
+                           Red.
+
+                    Metals and minerals.
+
+  Starch                    | Latten
+  Cooper                    | Plaster
+                         Vitriole
+
+                      Common stones.
+
+  Loadstones                | White lead
+  Brick                     | Gum-stone
+
+                         Weights.
+
+  Counterpoise              | An obole
+  A pound an half           | A quater ounce.
+
+                          Games.
+
+  Football-ball             | Pile
+  Bar                       | Mall
+  Gleek                     | Even or non even
+  Carousal                  | Keel
+
+                         Perfumes.
+
+  Benzion                   | Pomatum
+  Perfume paw               | Storax
+
+                        On the church.
+
+  The sides of the nef      | The little cellal
+  The holywater-pot         | The boby of the church
+
+                      Solemn-feasts.
+
+  The Deads-day             | The Vigil
+  The Twelfth-Dat           | The Visitation
+
+                  Ecclesiastical dignities.
+
+  Incumbent                 | General of an order
+  Canon                     | Penitentiary
+  Canoness                  | Theologist
+  Chanter, a clerk          | General curate
+
+                      Chivalry orders.
+
+  Black eagle               | Elephant
+  Avis, advice              | Honour Legion
+  Calatrava                 | Saint Michaelmas
+                        Very-merit.
+
+                         Degrees.
+
+  A cannoneer               | A general to galeries
+  A vessel captain          | A great admiral
+  A harbinger               | A king a lieutenant
+  A parapet                 | A quater master
+  A army general            | A vice admiral's ship
+
+                      Military objects.
+
+  The bait.                 | The fire pan
+  An arquebuse              | A bomb ketch
+  A bandoleer               | The military case
+                      A fusil, a gun.
+
+                    Music's instruments.
+
+  A flagelet                | A dreum
+                      A hurdy-gurdy.
+
+                      Chastisements.
+
+  A fine                    | To break upon
+  Honourable fine           | To tear off the flesh
+                To draw to four horses
+
+  ***
+
+  Familiar Phrases.
+
+  Go to send for.
+  Have you say that?
+  Have you understand that he says?
+  At what purpose have say so?
+  Put your confidence at my.
+  At what o'clock dine him?
+  Apply you at the study during that you are young.
+  Dress your hairs.
+  Sing an area.
+  These apricots and these peaches make me and to come water in mouth.
+  How do you can it to deny?
+  Wax my shoes.
+  That is that I have think.
+  That are the dishes whose you must be and to abstain.
+  This meat ist not too over do.
+  This ink is white.
+  This room is filled of bugs.
+  This girl have a beauty edge.
+  It is a noise which to cleave the head.
+  This wood is fill of thief's.
+  Tell me, it can one to know?
+  Give me some good milk newly get out.
+  To morrow hi shall be entirely (her master) or unoccupied.
+  She do not that to talk and to cackle.
+  Dry this wine.
+  He laughs at my nose, he jest by me.
+  He has spit in my coat.
+  He has me take out my hairs.
+  He does me some kicks.
+  He has scratch the face with hers nails.
+  He burns one's self the brains.
+  He is valuable his weight's gold.
+  He has the word for to laugh.
+  He do the devil at four.
+  He make to weep the room.
+  He was fighted in duel.
+  They fight one's selfs together.
+  He do want to fall.
+  It must never to laugh of the unhappies.
+  He was wanting to be killed.
+  I am confused all yours civilities.
+  I am catched cold.
+  I not make what to coughand spit.
+  Never I have feeld a such heat
+  Till say-us?
+  Till hither.
+  I have put my stockings outward.
+  I have croped the candle.
+  I have mind to vomit.
+  I will not to sleep on street.
+  I am catched cold in the brain.
+  I am pinking me with a pin.
+  I dead myself in envy to see her.
+  I take a broth all morning.
+  I shall not tell you than two woods.
+  Have you understanded?
+  Let him have know?
+  Have you understand they?
+  Do you know they?
+  Do you know they to?
+  The storm is go over.
+  The sun begins to dissipe it.
+  Witch prefer you?
+  The paving stone is sliphery.
+  The thunderbolt is falling down.
+  The rose-trees begins to button.
+  The ears are too length.
+  The hands itch at him.
+  Have you forgeted me?
+  Lay him hir apron.
+  Help-to a little most the better yours terms.
+  Dont you are awaken yet?
+  That should must me to cost my life.
+  We are in the canicule.
+  No budge you there.
+  Do not might one's understand to speak.
+  Where are their stockings, their shoes, her shirt and her petlicot?
+  One's can to believe you?
+  One's find-modest the young men rarely.
+  If can't to please at every one's.
+  Take that boy and whip him to much.
+  Take attention to cut you self.
+  Take care to dirt you self.
+  Dress my horse.
+  Since you not go out, I shall go out nor I neither.
+  That may dead if I lie you.
+  What is it who want you?
+  Why you no helps me to?
+  Upon my live.
+  All trees have very deal bear.
+  A throat's ill.
+  You shall catch cold one's.
+  You make grins.
+  Will some mutton?
+  Will you fat or slight?
+  Will you this?
+  Will you a bon?
+  You not make who to babble.
+  You not make that to prate all day's work.
+  You interompt me.
+  You mistake you self heavily.
+  You come too rare.
+
+  _End First Part's_
+
+  ***
+
+  Familiar Dialogues
+
+    _For to wish the good morning._
+
+  How does your father do?
+  He is very well.
+  I am very delight of it. Were is it?
+  I shall come back soon, I was no came that to know how you are.
+
+    _For make a visit in the morning._
+
+  Is your master at home?
+  Yes, sir.
+  Is it up.
+  No, sir, he sleep yet.
+  I go make that he get up.
+  It come in one's? How is it, you are in bed yet?
+  Yesterday at evening, I was to bed so late that
+  I may not rising me soon that morning.
+  Well! what you have done after the supper?
+  We have sung, danced, laugh and played.
+  What game?
+  To the picket.
+  Whom I am sorry do not have know it!
+  Who have prevailed upon?
+  I had gained ten lewis.
+  Till at what o'clock its had play one?
+  Un till two o'clock after mid night.
+  At what o'clock are you go to bed.
+  Half pass three.
+  I am no astonished if you get up so late.
+  What o'clock is it?
+  What o'clock you think is it?
+  I think is not yet eight o'clock.
+  How is that, eight 'clock! it is ten 'clock struck.
+  It must then what I rise me quickly.
+  Adieu, my deer, I leave you. If can to see you at six clock to the
+    hotel from ***, we swill dine togetter.
+  Willingly. Good by.
+
+    _For to dress him self._
+
+  John, make haste, lighted the fire and dress-me.
+  Give me my shirt.
+  There is it sir.
+  Is it no hot, it is too cold yet.
+  If you like, I will hot it.
+  No, no, bring me my silk stocking's.
+  Its are make holes.
+  Make its a point, or make to mend them.
+  Comb me, take another comb. Give me my handkarchief.
+  There is a clean, sir.
+  What coat dress you to day?
+  Those that I had yesterday.
+  The tailor do owe to bring soon that of cloth.
+  Have you wexed my shoes? I go wex its now.
+  It must that I may wash my hands, the mouth and my face.
+
+    _The walk._
+
+  Will you and take a walk with me?
+  Wait for that the warm be out.
+  Go through that meadow.
+  Who the country is beautiful! who the trees are thick!
+  Take the bloom's perfume.
+  It seems me that the corn does push alredy.
+  You hear the bird's gurgling?
+  Which pleasure! which charm!
+  The field has by me a thousand charms.
+  Are you hunter? will you go to the hunting in one day this week?
+  Willingly; I have not a most pleasure in the world. There is some
+    game on they cantons?
+  We have done a great walk.
+
+    _The weather._
+
+  We shall have a fine weather to day.
+  There is some foggy.
+  I fear of the thunderbolt.
+  The sun rise on.
+  The sun lie down.
+  It is light moon's.
+
+    _For to write._
+
+  It is to day courier day's; I have a letter to write.
+  At which does you write?
+  Is not that? look one is that.
+  This letter is arrears.
+  It shall stay to the post. This pen are good for notting. During I
+    finish that letter, do me the goodness to seal this packet; it is
+    by my cousin.
+  How is the day of month?
+  The two, the three, the four, etc.
+  That is some letter to me.
+  Go to bear they letter to the post.
+
+    _The gaming._
+
+  Do you like the gaming?
+  At what pack will you that we does play?
+  To the cards.
+  Waiter, give us a card's game.
+  What is the trump?
+  The club's king.
+  Play, if you please.
+  The heart's aces.
+  We do ought.
+  This time I have a great deal pack.
+
+    _With the tailor._
+
+  Can you do me a coat?
+  What cloth will you do to?
+  From a stuff what be of season.
+  How much wants the ells for coat, waist coat, and breeches?
+  Six ells.
+  What will you to double the coat?
+  From some thing of duration. I believe to you that
+  When do you bring me my coat?
+  The rather that be possible.
+  Bring you my coat?
+  Yes, sir, there is it.
+  You have me done to expect too.
+  I did can't to come rather.
+  It don't are finished?
+  The lining war not sewd.
+  It is so that do one's now.
+  Button me.
+  It pinches me too much upon stomack.
+  The sleeves have not them great deal wideness?
+  No, sir, they are well.
+
+    _With a hair dresser._
+
+  Your razors, are them well?
+  Yes, Sir.
+  Comb-me quickly; don't put me so much pomatum. What news tell me?
+    all hairs dresser are newsmonger.
+  Sir, I have no heared any thing.
+
+    _For to breakfast._
+
+  John bring us some thing for to breakfast.
+  Yes, Sir; there is some sousages. Will you than I bring the ham?
+  Yes, bring-him, we will cup a steak put a nappe clothe upon
+    this table.
+  I you do not eat?
+  How you like the tea.
+  It is excellent.
+  Still a not her cup.
+
+    _For to ask some news._
+
+  It is true what is told of master M***?
+  Then what is told of him?
+  I have heard that he is hurt mortally.
+  I shall be sowow of it, because he is a honestman.
+  Which have wounden him?
+  Do know it why?
+  The noise run that is by to have given a box on the ear
+    to a of them.
+
+    _For to buy._
+
+  I won't have a good and fine cloth to make a coat.
+  How much do you sell it the ell?
+  We thout overcharge you from a halfpenny, it cost twenty franks.
+    Sir, I am not accustomed to cheapen: tell me the last price.
+  I have told you, sir, it is valuable in that.
+  It is too much dear, I give at it, eighteen franks.
+  You shall not have what you have wished.
+  You did beg me my last word, I told you them.
+  Well, well, cut them two ells.
+  Don't you will not more?
+  No, at present.
+
+    _For to dine._
+
+  Go to dine, the dinner is ready.
+  Cut some bread; here is it, I don't know that boiled meat is good.
+  Gentilman, will you have some beans?
+  Peter, uncork a Porto wine bottle.
+  Sir, what will you to?
+  Some pears, and apples, what wilt you?
+  Taste us rather that liquor, it is good for the stomach.
+  I am too much obliged to you, is done.
+
+    _For to speak french._
+
+  How is the french? Are you too learned now?
+  I could to tell some word's that I know by heart.
+  Not apprehend you, the french language is not difficult.
+  I know it, and she have great deal of agreeableness. Who I would
+    be. If I was know it! It must to study for to learn it. How long
+    there is it what you learn it? It is not yet a month. How is
+    called your master?
+  It is called N***
+  I know him it is long; he has teached a many of my friends. Don't
+    he tell you that it must to speak french?
+
+    _For to see the town._
+
+  Anthony, go to accompany they gentilsmen, do they see the town.
+  We won't to see all that is it remarquable here.
+  Admire this master piece gothic architecture's.
+  The chasing of all they figures is astonishing indeed.
+  The streets are very layed out by line and too paved.
+  There is it also hospitals here?
+  It not fail them. What are then the edifices the worthest to
+    have seen?
+  It is the arsnehal, the spectacle's hall, the cusiom-house and
+    the Purse.
+  We are going too see the others monuments such that the public
+    pawnbroker's office, the plants garden's the money office's,
+    the library.
+
+    _To inform oneself of a person._
+
+  How is that gentilman who you did speak by and by.
+  Is a German.
+  Tongh he is German, he speak so much well italyan, french, Spanish,
+  and english, that among the Italyans, they believe him Italyan,
+  he speak the frenche as the Frenches himselves. The Spanishesmen
+  belie ve him Spanishing, and the Englishes, Englisman.
+  It is difficult to enjoy well so much several langages.
+
+    _For to ride a horse._
+
+  Here is a horse who have a bad looks. Give me another; I will
+    not that. He not sail know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered.
+    Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? he is undshoed,
+    he is with nails up; it want to lead to the farrier.
+  Your pistols are its loads?
+  No; I forgot to buy gun-powder and balls. Let us prick. Go us more
+    fast never I was seen a so much bad beast; she will not nor to
+    bring forward neither put back.
+    Strek him the bridle, hold him the reins sharters. Pique
+    stron gly, make to marsh him.
+  I have pricked him enough. But I can't to make march him.
+  Go down, I shall make march.
+  Take care that he not give you a foot kick's.
+  Then he kicks for that I look? Sook here if I knew to tame hix.
+
+    _With a watch maker._
+
+  I bring you a watch that want to be ordered.
+  I had the misfortune to leave fall down the instant where I did
+    mounted, it must to put again a glass.
+    I want not a pendulum? I have them here some very good.
+    Don't you live me her proof againts? I shall not accept that
+      this condition.
+
+    _For to visit a sick._
+
+  How have you passed the night?
+  Very bad. I have not sleeped; I have had the fever during all
+    night. I fell some pain every where body.
+  Live me see your tongue. Have you pain to the heart?
+  Are you altered?
+  Yes, I have thursty often.
+  Your stat have nothing from lrouble some.
+  What I may to eat?
+  You can take a broth.
+  Can I to get up my self?
+  Yes, during a hour or two.
+  Let me have another thing to do?
+  Take care to hold you warme ly, and in two or three days you shall
+    be cured.
+
+    _For to travel._
+
+  Where you go so?
+  I am going to Cadiz.
+  Have you already arrested a coach?
+  Yes, sir, and very cheap.
+  There is it some danger on the highway?
+  It is not spoken that.
+  They speak not that may have some robbers on the woods?
+  It have nothing to fear, or in day neither the night.
+  Don't we does pass for a***?
+  No, sir, they leave it to left.
+  Let us take patience, still some o'clock, and we shall be in the
+    end of our voyage.
+
+    _With a inn keeper._
+
+  What you give us for to take supper.
+  Gentlemen, what you will have.
+  Give us a pigeon couple, a piece of ham and a salad.
+  What have us expended?
+  Theaccout mount in little the supper, the bed and the breakfast,
+    shall get up at thirty franks.
+
+    _From the house-keeping._
+
+  I don't know more what I won't with they servants.
+  I tell the same, it is not more some good servants. Any one take
+    care to sweep neither to make fire at what I may be up.
+  How the times are changed! Anciently I had some servants who were
+    divine my thought. The duty was done at the instant, all things
+    were cleanly hold one may look on the furnitures now as you do
+    see. It is too different, whole is covered from dust; the
+    pierglasses side-boards, the pantries, the chests of drawers, the
+    walls selves, are changed of colours. I do like-it too much.
+  Believe me, send again whole the people; I take upon my self to
+    find you some good servants for to succeed them.
+  Ah! what I shall be oblige to you of it!
+
+    _For the comedy._
+
+  Were you go to the theatre yesterday?
+  Yes, sir; I won't to see the new play in which did owed to play
+    and actress which has not appeared on any theatre.
+  How you think her?
+  She has very much grace in the deeds great deal of exactness on
+    the declamation, a constitution very agreable, and a delightful
+    voice.
+  What you say of the comedy? Have her succeded? It was a drama;
+    it was whistted to the third scene of the last act.
+  Because that?
+  It whant the vehicle, and the intrigue it was bad conducted.
+  So that they won't waited even the upshot?
+  No, it was divined.
+  In the mean time them did diliver justice to the players which
+    generaly have play very well.
+  At the exception by a one's self, who had land very much hir's
+    part.
+  It want to have not any indulgence towards the bat buffoons.
+  Have you seen already the new tragedy? They
+    praise her very much.
+  It is multitude already.
+  Never I had seen the parlour so full.
+  This actor he make very well her part.
+  That piece is full of interest.
+  It have wondered the spectadors.
+  The curtains let down.
+  Go out us.
+
+    _The hunting._
+
+  There is it some game in this wood?
+  Another time there was plenty some black beasts and thin game, but
+    the poachers have killed almost all.
+  Look a hare who run! let do him to pursue for the hounds! it go
+    one's self in the ploughed land.
+  Here that it rouse. Let aim it! let make fire him!
+  I have put down killed.
+  Me, I have failed it; my gun have miss fixe.
+  I see a hind.
+  Let leave to pass away, don't disturte it.
+  I have heard that it is plenty pardridges this year.
+  Have you killed also some thrushes.
+  Here certainly a very good hunting.
+
+    _The fishing._
+
+  That pond it seems me many multiplied of fishes. Let us amuse
+    rather to the fishing.
+  Here, there is a wand and some hooks.
+  Silence! there is a superb perch! Give me quick the rod. Ah!
+    there is, it is a lamprey. You mistake you, it is a frog! dip
+    again it in the water.
+
+    _With a furniture tradesman._
+
+  It seems no me new.
+  Pardon me, it comes workman's hands.
+  Which hightness want you its?
+  I want almost four feet six thumbs wide's, over seven of long.
+
+    _For embarking one's self._
+
+  Don't you fear the privateers!
+  I jest of them; my vessel is armed in man of war, I have a
+    vigilant and courageous equipage, and the ammunitions don't want
+    me its.
+  Never have you not done wreck?
+  That it is arrived me twice.
+
+    _With a gardener._
+
+  Shall I eat some plums soon?
+  It is not the season yet; but here is some peaches what does ripen
+    at the eye sight.
+  It delay me to eat some wal nuts-kernels; take care not leave to
+    pass the season.
+  Be tranquil, I shall throw you any nuts during the shell is green
+    yet.
+  The artichoks grow its?
+  I have a particular care of its, because I know you like the
+    bottoms.
+  It must to cup the trees.
+  It should pull the bad grasses up.
+
+    _The books and of the reading._
+
+  Do you like the reading good deal too many which seem me?
+  That is to me a amusement.
+
+      _The field._
+
+  All the fields that you see thither were been neglected; it must I
+    shall grub up and to plough its.
+  The ground seems me a little scour with sand and yet it may one
+    make it bring up; I want be fumed time by time.
+
+    _The writing._
+
+  Your pens have any notches, and its spit.
+  How do you like its? will you its are fine or broad?
+  I won't me also a wafer or some sealing wax and a seal.
+  In this drawer, there is all that, falding stick, rule, scraper,
+    saud, etc.
+  There is the postman I go to put it him again.
+
+    _With a bookseller._
+
+  What is there in new's litterature?
+  Little or almost nothing, it not appears any thing of note.
+  And yet one imprint many deal.
+  But why, you and another book seller, you does not to imprint some
+    good wooks?
+  There is a reason for that, it is that you cannot to sell its. The
+    actual-liking of the public is depraved they does not read who
+    for to amuse one's self ant but to instruct one's.
+  But the letter's men who cultivate the arts and the sciences they
+    can't to pass without the books.
+  A little learneds are happies enough for to may to satisfy their
+    fancies on the literature.
+  Have you found the Buff on who I had call for?
+  I have only been able to procure the octodecimo edition, which is
+    embellished with plates beautifully coloured.
+
+    _With a dentist._
+
+  I have the teetht-ache.
+  Is it a fluxion, or have you a bad tooth?
+  I think that is a bad tooth; please you to examine my mouth?
+  You have a bad tooth; will you pull out this tooth?
+  I can't to decide me it, that make me many great deal pain.
+  Your tooth is absolutely roted; if you leave it; shall spoil the
+    others.
+  In such case draw it.
+  I shall you neat also your mouth, and you could care entertain it
+    clean, for to preserve the mamel of the teeth; I could give you
+    a opiate for to strengthen the gums.
+  I thank you; I prefer the only means, which is to rinse the mouth
+    with some water, or a little brandy.
+
+    _With a laundress._
+
+  Who lhat be too washed, too many soaped, and the shirts put through
+    the buck. You may be sure; never I do else.
+
+    _For to swim._
+
+  I row upon the belly on the back and between two waters.
+  I am not so dexte rous that you.
+  Nothing is more easy than to swim; it do not what don't to be
+  afraid of.
+
+    _The french language._
+
+  Do you study?
+  Yes, sir, I attempts to translate of french by portuguese.
+  Do you know already the principal grammars rules?
+  I am appleed my self at to learn its by heart.
+  Do speak french alwais?
+  Some times: though I flay it yet.
+  You jest, you does express you self very well.
+
+  ***
+
+  Familiar Letters.
+
+    _Racine to M. Fitart._
+
+My uncle what will to treat her beshop in a great sumptuouness, he
+was go Avignon for to buy what one not should find there, and he had
+leave me the charge to provide all things. I have excellent business,
+as you see, and I know some thing more than to eat my soup, since I
+know do to prepare it. I did learn that it must give to the first, to
+second, and to the third service, by dishes that want to join, and
+yet some thing more; because we does pretend make a feast at four
+services without to account the dessert. Good bye, my dear sir, etc.
+
+    _Mothe to the duchess of the Maine._
+
+My lady, I have a complaint to present you. So much happy that might
+be one's self, one have not all theirs eases in this world. Your
+letters are shortest. You have plaied wonderfully all sentiments;
+less her prattle, etc.
+
+    _Montesquieu to the abbot Nicolini._
+
+Allow me, my dear abbot, who I remind me of your friendship. I
+recommend you M. of the Condamine. I shall tell you nothing, else he
+is a of my friends. Her great celebrity may tell you from others
+things, and her presence will say you the remains. My dear abbot, I
+will love you even the death.
+
+  ***
+
+  Anecdotes.
+
+Guttler, a very rich man too many avaricious, commonly he was travel
+at a horse, and single for to avoid all expenses. In the evening at
+to arrive at the inn did feign to be indispose, to the end that one
+bring him the supper. He did ordered to the stable knave to bring in
+their room some straw, for to put in their boots he made to warm her
+bed and was go lo sleep. When the servant was draw again, he come up
+ again, and with the straw of their boots, and the candle Avhat was
+leave him he made a small fire where he was roast a herring what he
+did keep of her pocket. He was always the precaution one to provide
+him self of a small of bread and one bring up a water bottle, and
+thus with a little money.
+
+  **
+
+A blind did hide five hundred crowns in a corner of their garden; but
+a neighbour, which was perceive it, did dig up and took its. The
+blind not finding more her money, was suspect that might be the
+robed, but one work for take again it? He was going find the
+ neighbour, and told him that he came to get him a council; than he
+was a thousand crowns which the half was hided into a sure part and I
+don't know if want, if to put the remains to the same part. The
+neighbour was council him so and was hasten to carry back that sum,
+in the hope soon to draw out a thousand. But the blind having finded
+the money, was seized it, having called her neighbour, he told him:
+"Gossip, the blind saw clearer than this that may have two eyes."
+
+  **
+
+A man one's was presented at a magistrate which had a considerable
+library. "What you make?" beg him the magistrate. "I do some books,"
+ he was answered. "But any of your books I did not seen its.--I
+believe it so, was answered the author; I mak nothing for Paris. From
+a of my works is imprinted, I send the edition for America; I don't
+compose what to colonies."
+
+  **
+
+One eyed was laied against a man which had good eyes that he saw
+better than him. The party was accepted. "I had gain, over said the
+one eyed; why I see you two eyes, and you not look me who one."
+
+  **
+
+A english lord was in their bed tormented, cruelly of the gout, when
+was announced him a pretended physician, which had a remedy sure
+against that illness. "That doctor came in coach or on foot?" was
+request the lord. "On foot," was answered him the servant. "Well, was
+replied the sick, go tell to the knave what go back one's self,
+because if he was the remedy, which he exalt him self, he should roll
+a coach at six horses, and I would be send for him my self and to
+offer him the half part of my lands for to be delivered of my
+sickness."
+
+  **
+
+A duchess accused of magic being interrogated for a commissary
+extremely unhandsome, this was beg him selve one she had look the
+devil. "Yes, sir, I did see him, was answer the duchess, and he was
+like you as two water's drops."
+
+  **
+
+A Lady, which was to dine, chid to her servant that she not had used
+butter enough. This girl, for to excuse him selve, was bing a little
+cat on the hand, and told that she came to take him in the crime,
+finishing to eat the two pounds from butter who remain. The Lady took
+immediately the cat, was put into the balances it had not weighted
+that one an half pound.
+
+  **
+
+A countryman which came through to Paris upon the bridge to the
+change, not had perceived merchandises in several shops. The
+curiosity take him, he come near of a exchange desk:--"Sir, had he
+beg from a look simple, tell me what you sell." The loader though
+that he may to divert of the personage:--"I sell, was answered him
+asse's heads."--"Indeed, reply to him the countryman, you make of it
+a great sale, because it not remains more but one in your shop."
+
+  **
+
+The commander Forbin of Janson, being at a repast with a celebrated
+Boileau, had undertaken to pun him upon her name:--"What name, told
+him, carry you thither? Boileau: I would wish better to call me
+Drink wine." The poet was answered him in the same tune:--"And you,
+sir, what name have you choice? Janson: I should prefer to be named
+John-Meal. The meal don't is valuable better than the furfur?"
+
+  **
+
+A physician eighty years of age had enjoicd of a health unalterable.
+Theirs friends did him of it compliments every days: "Mister doctor,
+they said to him, you are admirable man. What you make then for to
+bear you as well?--I shall tell you it, gentlemen he was answered
+them, and I exhort you in same time at to follow my exemple. I live
+of the product of my ordering without take any remedy who I command
+to my sicks."
+
+  **
+
+A countryman was confessed to the parson to have robbed a mutton at a
+farmer of her neighbourhood. "My friend, told him the confessor, it
+must to return, or you shall not have the absolution.--But repply the
+villager, I had eated him.--So much worse, told him the pastor; you
+vill be the devil sharing; because in the wide vale where me ought to
+appear we before God every one shall spoken against you, even the
+mutton. How! repply the countryman, the mutton will find in that
+part? I am very glad of that; then the restitution shall be easy,
+since I shall not have to tell to the farmer: "Neighbour take your
+mutton again."
+
+  **
+
+Plato walking one's self a day to the field with some of their
+friends. They were to see him Diogenes who was in to water untill the
+chin. The superficies of the water was snowed, for the reserve of the
+hole that Diogenes was made. "Don't look it more told them Plato, and
+he shall get out soon."
+
+  **
+
+A day came a man consult this philosopher for to know at o'clock it
+was owe to eat. If thou art rich, told him eat when you shall wish;
+if you are poor, when you may do.
+
+  **
+
+At the middle of a night very dark, a blind was walk in the streets
+with a light on the hand and a full jar upon the back. Some one which
+ran do meet him, and surprised of that light: "Simple that you are,
+told him, what serve you this light? The night and the day are not
+them the same thing by you!--It is not for me, was answering the
+blind, that I bring this light, it is to the and that the giddie
+swhich seem to you do not come to run against me, and make to break
+my jar."
+
+  ***
+
+  Idiotisms and Proverbs.
+
+  **
+
+  The necessity don't know the low.
+  Few, few the bird make her nest.
+  He is not valuable to breat that he eat.
+  Its are some blu stories.
+  Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss.
+  He sin in trouble water.
+  A bad arrangement is better than a process.
+  He has a good beak.
+  In the country of blinds, the one eyed men are kings.
+  To build castles in Espagnish.
+  Cat scalded fear the cold water.
+  To do the fine spirit.
+  With a tongue one go to Roma.
+  There is not any rnler without a exception.
+  Take out the live coals with the hand of the cat.
+  A horse baared don't look him the tooth.
+  Take the occasion for the hairs.
+  To do a wink to some body.
+  So many go the jar to spring, than at last rest there.
+  He eat untill to can't more.
+  Which like Bertram, love hir dog.
+  It want to beat the iron during it is hot.
+  He is not so devil as he is black.
+  It is better be single as a bad company.
+  The stone as roll not heap up not foam.
+  They shurt him the doar in face.
+  He has fond the knuckle of the business.
+  He turns as a weath turcocl.
+  There is not better sauce who the appetite.
+  The pains come at horse and turn one's self at foot.
+  He is beggar as a church rat.
+  So much go the jar to spring that at last it break there.
+  To force to forge, becomes smith.
+  Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot.
+  Friendship of a child is water into a basket.
+  At some thing the misforte is good.
+  Burn the politeness.
+  Tell me whom thou frequent, I will tell you which you are.
+  After the paunch comes the dance.
+  Of the hand to mouth, one lose often the soup.
+  To look for a needle in a hay bundle.
+  To craunch the marmoset.
+  To buy cat in pocket.
+  To be as a fish into the water.
+  To make paps for the cats.
+  To fatten the foot.
+  To come back at their muttons.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of English as she is spoke, by 
+José da Fonseca and Pedro Carolino
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30411 ***
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+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
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--- /dev/null
+++ b/README.md
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #30411 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/30411)
diff --git a/old/30411-8.txt b/old/30411-8.txt
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of English as she is spoke, by 
+José da Fonseca and Pedro Carolino
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: English as she is spoke
+       or, A jest in sober earnest
+
+Author: José da Fonseca
+        Pedro Carolino
+
+Release Date: November 7, 2009 [EBook #30411]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Doran Gaston
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  English
+  As She is Spoke:
+
+  or
+
+  A Jest in Sober Earnest.
+
+  No. I.
+
+  The Parchment Paper Series.
+
+  _English As She is Spoke._
+
+"EXCRUCIATINGLY FUNNY," says _The World_, is "English as she is
+Spoke, or a Jest in Sober thought."
+
+  --
+
+"EVERY one who loves a laugh," says _Fun_, "should either buy, beg,
+borrow, or--we had almost said steal--this book; for in sober earnest
+we aver that it is not given to every one to 'jest so.'"
+
+  English
+  As She is Spoke:
+
+  or
+
+  A Jest in Sober Earnest.
+
+  With an Introduction by
+
+  JAMES MILLINGTON.
+
+  ***
+
+  New York: D. Appleton & Co., 1, 3, & 5 Bond Street.
+
+  1884.
+
+  * Introduction *
+
+  **
+
+_FROM_ the time of Shakspere downwards, wits and authors innumerable
+have made themselves and the public more or less merry at the expense
+of the earlier efforts of the student of a strange tongue; but it has
+been reserved to our own time for a _soi disant_ instructor to
+perpetrate--at his own expense--the monstrous joke of publishing a
+Guide to Conversation in a language of which it is only too evident
+that every word is utterly strange to him. The Teutonic sage who
+evolved the ideal portrait of an elephant from his "inner
+consciousness" was a commonplace, matter-of fact person compared with
+the daring visionary who conjures up a complete system of language
+from the same fertile but untrustworthy source. The piquancy of
+Senhor Pedro Carolino's _New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese
+and English_ is enhanced by the evident _bona fides_ and careful
+compilation of "the little book," or as Pedro himself gravely
+expresses it, "for the care what we wrote him, and for her
+typographical correction."
+
+In short, the _New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and
+English_ was written with serious intent, and for the purpose of
+initiating Portuguese students into the mysteries of the English
+language. The earlier portions of the book are divided into three
+columns, the first giving the Portuguese; the second what, in the
+opinion of the author, is the English equivalent; and the third the
+English equivalent phonetically spelt, so that the tyro may at the
+same time master our barbarous phraseology and the pronunciation
+thereof. In the second part of the work the learner is supposed to
+have sufficiently mastered the pronunciation of the English language,
+to be left to his own devices.
+
+A little consideration of the shaping of our author's English phrases
+leads to the conclusion that the materials used have been a
+Portuguese-French phrase-book and a French-English dictionary. With
+these slight impedimenta has the daring Lusitanian ventured upon the
+unknown deep of a strange language, and the result, to quote again
+from the Preface, "May be worth the acceptation of the studious
+persons, and especially of the Youth, at which we dedicate him
+particularly," but will at all events contribute not a little to the
+Youth's hilarity.
+
+To begin with the vocabulary; it is perhaps hardly fair to expect a
+professor of languages to trouble himself with "Degrees of Kindred,"
+still, such titles as "Gossip mistress, a relation, an relation, a
+guardian, an guardian, the quatergrandfather, the quater-grandmother,"
+require some slight elucidation, and passing over the catalogue of
+articles of dress which are denominated "Objects of Man" and "Woman
+Objects," one may take exception to "crumbs" and "groceries," which
+are inserted among plates and cruets as ordinary table garniture.
+
+Among what are denominated "Eatings" we find "some wigs," "a dainty
+dishes," "a mutton shoulder," "a little mine," "hog-fat," and "an
+amelet": the _menu_ is scarcely appetising, especially when among
+"Fishes and Shellfishes" our Portuguese Lucullus sets down the
+"hedgehog," "snail," and "wolf." After this such trifles as "starch"
+arranged under the heading of "Metals and Minerals," and "brick" and
+"whitelead" under that of "Common Stones" fall almost flat; but one
+would like to be initiated into the mysteries of "gleek," "carousal,"
+and "keel," which are gravely asserted to be "Games." Among "Chivalry
+Orders" one has a glimmering of what is intended by "Saint
+Michaelmas" and "Very-Merit"; but under the heading of "Degrees,"
+although by a slight exercise of the imagination we can picture to
+ourselves "a quater master," "a general to galeries," or even a
+"vessel captain," we are entirely nonplussed by "a harbinger" and "a
+parapet."
+
+Passing on to "Familiar Phrases," most of which appear to be old
+friends with new faces, Senhor Carolino's literal cribs from the
+French become more and more apparent, in spite of his boast in the
+Preface of being "clean of gallicisms and despoiled phrases." "Apply
+you at the study during that you are young" is doubtless an excellent
+precept, and as he remarks further on "How do you can it to deny";
+but study may be misdirected, and in the moral, no less than in the
+material world, it is useful to know. "That are the dishes whom you
+must be and to abstain"; while the meaning of "This girl have a
+beauty edge" is scarcely clear unless it relates to the preternatural
+acuteness of the fair sex in these days of board schools and woman's
+rights.
+
+Further on the conversationalist appears to get into rough company,
+and we find him remarking "He laughs at my nose, he jest by me,"
+gallicé "_Il me rit au nez, il se moque de moi_"; "He has me take out
+my hairs," "He does me some kicks," "He has scratch the face with
+hers nails," all doubtless painfully translated with the assistance
+of a French-English dictionary from "_Il m'a arraché les cheveux_,"
+"_Il me donne des coups-de-pied_," "_Il m'a lacere la figure de ses
+ongles_." It is noticeable that our instructor as a rule endeavours
+to make the possessive pronoun agree with the substantive in number
+and gender in orthodox Portuguese fashion, and that like a true
+grammatical patriot he insists upon the substantive having the same
+gender as in his native tongue; therefore "_às unhas_" must be
+rendered "hers nails" and "_vóssas civilidádes_" "yours civilities."
+By this time no one will be disposed to contradict our inimitable
+Pedro when he remarks "_E factéo_" giving the translation as "He has
+the word for to laugh," a construction bearing a suspicious
+resemblance to "_Il a le mot pour rire._" "He do the devil at four"
+has no reference to an artful scheme for circumventing the Archfiend
+at a stated hour, but is merely a simulacrum of the well-known gallic
+idiomatic expression "_Il fait le diable à quatre._" Truly this is
+excellent fooling; _Punch_ in his wildest humour, backed by the whole
+colony of Leicester Square, could not produce funnier English.
+"He burns one's self the brains," "He was fighted in duel," "They
+fight one's selfs together," "He do want to fall," would be more
+intelligible if less picturesque in their original form of "_Il se
+brûle la cervelle_," "_Il s'cet battu en duel_," "_lis se battent
+ensemble_," "_Il manque de tomber_." The comic vein running through
+the "Familiar Phrases" is so inexhaustible that space forbids further
+quotation from this portion of the book, which may be appropriately
+closed with "Help to a little most the better yours terms," a
+mysterious adjuration, which a reference to the original Portuguese
+leads one to suppose may be a daring guess at "_Choisissez un pen
+mieux vos paroles_."
+
+In the second part, entitled "Familiar Dialogues," the fun grows fast
+and furious. Let us accompany our mad wag upon "The walk." "You hear
+the bird's gurgling?" he enquires, and then rapturously exclaims
+"Which pleasure! which charm! The field has by me a thousand
+charms"; after this, to the question "Are you hunter? Will you go to
+the hunting in one day this week?" he responds "Willingly; I have not
+a most pleasure in the world. There is some game on they cantons."
+Proceeding from "game" to "gaming" we soon run aground upon the word
+"_jeu_," which as we know does duty in French both for a game and a
+pack of cards. "At what pack will you that we does play?" "To the
+cards." Of course this is "_A quel Jeu voulez vous que nous
+Jouions?_" "_Aux cartes_;" and further on "This time I have a great
+deal pack," "_Cette fois j'ai un jeu excellent!_"
+
+Now let us listen to our friend at his tailor's: his greeting is
+perky--almost slangy. "Can you do me a coat?" he enquires, but
+quickly drivels down to "What cloth will you do to?" and then to the
+question "What will you to double (_doubler_) the coat?" obtains the
+satisfactory answer "From something of duration. I believe to you
+that." After requesting to have his garment "The rather that be
+possible," he overwhelms the procrastinating man of cloth with the
+stern remark "You have me done to expect too," evidently a bold
+version of "_Vous m' avez fait trop attendre_," which draws forth the
+natural excuse "I did can't to come rather." Passing by a number of
+good things which one would like to analyse if space permitted, we
+arrive at "For to ride a horse," a fine little bit of word painting
+almost Carlylean in its grotesqueness. "Here is a horse who have a
+ bad looks. He not sail know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered.
+Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? he is unshoed, he is
+with nails up; it want to lead to the farrier." "Let us prick
+(_piquons_) go us more fast, never I was seen a so much bad beast;
+she will not nor to bring forward neither put back." "Strek him the
+bridle," cries the horsedealer, "Hold him the rein sharters." "Pique
+stron gly, make to marsh him." "I have pricked him enough. But
+I can't to make marsh him," replies the indignant client. "Go down, I
+shall make marsh," declares the dealer; upon which the incensed
+equestrian rejoins "Take care that he not give you a foot kicks," and
+the "coper" sardonically but somewhat incoherently concludes with
+"Then he kicks for that I look? Sook here if I knew to tame hix."
+
+After the "Familiar Dialogues" we come upon a series of letters from
+celebrated personages, who would be puzzled to recognize themselves
+in their new dresses; and a collection of anecdotes which may be
+taken singly after dinner as a gentle promoter of digestion; the
+whole being appropriately concluded with "Idiotisms and Proverbs,"
+between which it must be confessed the distinction is purely
+imaginary; the following are a few gems: "Its are some blu stories"
+(_contes bleus_); "Nothing some money, nothing some Swiss," "He sin
+in trouble water" (confusion of _pécher_ and _pêcher_). "A horse
+baared don't look him the tooth," "The stone as roll not heap up not
+foam," _mousse_ meaning both foam and moss, of course the wrong
+meaning is essential to a good "idiotism." "To force to forge,
+becomes smith" (_a force de forger on devient forgeron_). "To
+craunch the marmoset" and "To fatten the foot" may terminate the
+list, and are incontestably more idiotic, although scarcely so
+idiomatic as "_Croquer le marmot_" and "_Graisser lapatte_."
+
+The column in Portuguese which runs throughout the original work is
+omitted, and only a sufficient number of the English extracts are
+culled to enable the reader to form a just idea of the
+unintentionally humorous style that an author may fall into who
+attempts to follow the intricacies of "English as she is spoke" by
+the aid of a French dictionary and a phrasebook.
+
+It is to be trusted the eccentric "Guide" to which this short sketch
+is intended to serve as Introduction--and, so far as may be,
+elucidation--is not a fair specimen of Portuguese or Brazilian
+educational literature; if such be the case the schoolmaster is
+indeed "abroad," and one may justly fear that his instruction--to
+quote once more the Preface--"only will be for to accustom the
+Portuguese pupils, or foreign, to speak very bad any of the mentioned
+idioms."
+
+  ***
+
+  Preface.
+
+  [Author's]
+
+_A CHOICE of_ familiar dialogues, _clean of gallicisms, and despoiled
+phrases, it was missing yet to studious Portuguese and brazilian
+Youth; and also to persons of others nations, that wish to know the
+Portuguese language. We sought all we may do, to correct that want,
+composing and divising the present little work in two parts. The
+first includes a greatest vocabulary proper names by alphabetical
+order; and the second forty three_ Dialogues _adapted to the usual
+precisions of the life. For that reason we did put, with a scrupulous
+exactness, a great variety own expressions to english and Portuguese
+idioms; without to attach us selves (as make some others) almost at a
+literal translation; translation what only will be for to accustom
+the Portuguese pupils, or-foreign, to speak very bad any of the
+mentioned idioms._
+
+_We were increasing this second edition with a phraseology, in the
+first part, and some familiar letters, anecdotes, idiotisms,
+proverbs, and to second a coin's index._
+
+_The_ Works _which we were confering for this labour, fond use us for
+nothing; but those what were publishing to Portugal, or out, they
+were almost all composed for some foreign, or for some national
+little acquainted in the spirit of both languages. It was resulting
+from that carelessness to rest these_ Works _fill of imperfections,
+and anomalies of style; in spite of the infinite typographical faults
+which some times, invert the sense of the periods. It increase not to
+contain any of those_ Works _the figured pronunciation of the english
+words, nor the prosodical accent in the Portuguese; indispensable
+object whom wish to speak the english and Portuguese languages
+correctly._
+
+_We expect then, who the little book (for the care what we wrote him,
+and for her typographical correction) that may be worth the
+acceptation of the studious persons, and especially of the Youth, at
+which we dedicate him particularly._
+
+  ***
+
+  _English as she is spoke._
+
+  **
+
+                       Of the Man.
+
+  The Brain                 | The inferior lip
+  The brains                | The superior lip
+  The fat of the Leg        | The marrow
+  The ham                   | The reins
+
+                   Defects of the body.
+
+  A blind                   | A left handed
+  A lame                    | An ugly
+  A bald                    | A squint-eyed
+                        A deaf
+
+                    Degrees of kindred.
+
+  The gossip                | the quater-grandfather
+  The gossip mistress       | The quater-grandmother
+  The Nurse                 | A guardian
+  A relation                | An guardian
+  An relation               | A widower
+                        An widow.
+
+                          Trades.
+
+  Starch-maker              | Porter
+  Barber                    | Chinaman
+  Coffeeman                 | Founder
+  Porkshop-keeper           | Grave-digger
+  Cartwright                | Tradesman
+  Tinker, a brasier         | Stockingmender
+  Nailer                    | Lochsmith
+
+                      Objects of man.
+
+  The boots                 | The lining
+  The buckles               | The clogs
+  The buttons-holes         | The wig
+  The buskins               | the morning-gown, night-gown
+
+                      Woman objects.
+
+  The busk                  | The paint or disguise
+  The sash                  | The spindle
+  The conet                 | The patches
+  The pumps                 | The skate
+
+                        Servants.
+
+  Coochmann                 | Spendth
+  Running footman           | Business-man
+                          Groome.
+
+                        Diseases.
+
+  The apoplexy              | The megrime
+  The scrofulas             | The whitlow
+  The melancholy            | The rheumatisme
+                      The vomitory.
+
+                      Parties a Town.
+
+  The butchery              | The low eating house
+  The cause-way             | The obelis-ks
+  The sink                  | The prison, geol
+
+                      Kitchen utensils.
+
+  The skimming-dish         | The spark
+  The potlid                | The fire
+  The pothanger             | The smoke
+  The spunge                | The clout
+                         The jack.
+
+                        Of the bed.
+
+  The bed wood              | The feet's bed
+  The bed battom            | The pillar's bed
+                      The head's bed.
+
+                      For the table.
+
+  Some knifes               | Some groceries
+                        Some crumb.
+
+                         Eatings.
+
+  Some sugar-plum           | Hog fat
+  Some wigs                 | Some marchpanes
+  A chitterling sausages.   | An amelet
+  A dainty-dishes           | A slice, steak
+  A mutton shoulder         | Vegetables boiled to a pap
+
+                        Seasonings.
+
+  Some wing                 | Some pinions
+  Some cinnamon             | Some hog'slard
+  Some oranges              | Some verjuice
+
+                         Drinkings.
+
+  Some orgeat               | Some paltry wine
+                    Some sirup or sirop
+
+                    Quadruped's beasts.
+
+  Lamb                      | Roebuck
+  Ass                       | Dragon
+  Shi ass                   | wild sow
+  Ass-colt                  | Lioness
+  Ram, aries                | Dormouse
+
+                          Birds.
+
+  Becafico                  | Heuth-cock
+  Calander                  | Whoop
+  Stor                      | Pea cock
+  Yeung turkey              | Pinch
+                    Red-Breast, a robin
+
+                      Insects-reptiles.
+
+  Asp, aspic                | Fly
+  Morpion                   | Butter fly
+                         Serpent.
+
+                  Fishes and shell-fishes.
+
+  Calamary                  | Large lobster
+  Dorado                    | Snail
+  A sorte of fish           | Wolf
+  Hedge hog                 | Torpedo
+                          Sea-calf.
+
+                          Trees.
+
+  Lote-tree lotos           | Service-tree
+  Chest nut-tree            | Jujube-tree
+                        Linden-tree.
+
+Flowers.
+
+  Anemony                   | Mil-foils
+  Blue-bottle               | Hink
+                         Turnsol.
+
+                         Hunting.
+
+  Hunting dog               | Picker
+  Relay dog                 | Gun-powder
+  Hound dog                 | Priming-powder
+  Hound's fee               | Hunts man
+
+                         Colours.
+
+  White                     | Gridelin
+  Cray                      | Musk
+                           Red.
+
+                    Metals and minerals.
+
+  Starch                    | Latten
+  Cooper                    | Plaster
+                         Vitriole
+
+                      Common stones.
+
+  Loadstones                | White lead
+  Brick                     | Gum-stone
+
+                         Weights.
+
+  Counterpoise              | An obole
+  A pound an half           | A quater ounce.
+
+                          Games.
+
+  Football-ball             | Pile
+  Bar                       | Mall
+  Gleek                     | Even or non even
+  Carousal                  | Keel
+
+                         Perfumes.
+
+  Benzion                   | Pomatum
+  Perfume paw               | Storax
+
+                        On the church.
+
+  The sides of the nef      | The little cellal
+  The holywater-pot         | The boby of the church
+
+                      Solemn-feasts.
+
+  The Deads-day             | The Vigil
+  The Twelfth-Dat           | The Visitation
+
+                  Ecclesiastical dignities.
+
+  Incumbent                 | General of an order
+  Canon                     | Penitentiary
+  Canoness                  | Theologist
+  Chanter, a clerk          | General curate
+
+                      Chivalry orders.
+
+  Black eagle               | Elephant
+  Avis, advice              | Honour Legion
+  Calatrava                 | Saint Michaelmas
+                        Very-merit.
+
+                         Degrees.
+
+  A cannoneer               | A general to galeries
+  A vessel captain          | A great admiral
+  A harbinger               | A king a lieutenant
+  A parapet                 | A quater master
+  A army general            | A vice admiral's ship
+
+                      Military objects.
+
+  The bait.                 | The fire pan
+  An arquebuse              | A bomb ketch
+  A bandoleer               | The military case
+                      A fusil, a gun.
+
+                    Music's instruments.
+
+  A flagelet                | A dreum
+                      A hurdy-gurdy.
+
+                      Chastisements.
+
+  A fine                    | To break upon
+  Honourable fine           | To tear off the flesh
+                To draw to four horses
+
+  ***
+
+  Familiar Phrases.
+
+  Go to send for.
+  Have you say that?
+  Have you understand that he says?
+  At what purpose have say so?
+  Put your confidence at my.
+  At what o'clock dine him?
+  Apply you at the study during that you are young.
+  Dress your hairs.
+  Sing an area.
+  These apricots and these peaches make me and to come water in mouth.
+  How do you can it to deny?
+  Wax my shoes.
+  That is that I have think.
+  That are the dishes whose you must be and to abstain.
+  This meat ist not too over do.
+  This ink is white.
+  This room is filled of bugs.
+  This girl have a beauty edge.
+  It is a noise which to cleave the head.
+  This wood is fill of thief's.
+  Tell me, it can one to know?
+  Give me some good milk newly get out.
+  To morrow hi shall be entirely (her master) or unoccupied.
+  She do not that to talk and to cackle.
+  Dry this wine.
+  He laughs at my nose, he jest by me.
+  He has spit in my coat.
+  He has me take out my hairs.
+  He does me some kicks.
+  He has scratch the face with hers nails.
+  He burns one's self the brains.
+  He is valuable his weight's gold.
+  He has the word for to laugh.
+  He do the devil at four.
+  He make to weep the room.
+  He was fighted in duel.
+  They fight one's selfs together.
+  He do want to fall.
+  It must never to laugh of the unhappies.
+  He was wanting to be killed.
+  I am confused all yours civilities.
+  I am catched cold.
+  I not make what to coughand spit.
+  Never I have feeld a such heat
+  Till say-us?
+  Till hither.
+  I have put my stockings outward.
+  I have croped the candle.
+  I have mind to vomit.
+  I will not to sleep on street.
+  I am catched cold in the brain.
+  I am pinking me with a pin.
+  I dead myself in envy to see her.
+  I take a broth all morning.
+  I shall not tell you than two woods.
+  Have you understanded?
+  Let him have know?
+  Have you understand they?
+  Do you know they?
+  Do you know they to?
+  The storm is go over.
+  The sun begins to dissipe it.
+  Witch prefer you?
+  The paving stone is sliphery.
+  The thunderbolt is falling down.
+  The rose-trees begins to button.
+  The ears are too length.
+  The hands itch at him.
+  Have you forgeted me?
+  Lay him hir apron.
+  Help-to a little most the better yours terms.
+  Dont you are awaken yet?
+  That should must me to cost my life.
+  We are in the canicule.
+  No budge you there.
+  Do not might one's understand to speak.
+  Where are their stockings, their shoes, her shirt and her petlicot?
+  One's can to believe you?
+  One's find-modest the young men rarely.
+  If can't to please at every one's.
+  Take that boy and whip him to much.
+  Take attention to cut you self.
+  Take care to dirt you self.
+  Dress my horse.
+  Since you not go out, I shall go out nor I neither.
+  That may dead if I lie you.
+  What is it who want you?
+  Why you no helps me to?
+  Upon my live.
+  All trees have very deal bear.
+  A throat's ill.
+  You shall catch cold one's.
+  You make grins.
+  Will some mutton?
+  Will you fat or slight?
+  Will you this?
+  Will you a bon?
+  You not make who to babble.
+  You not make that to prate all day's work.
+  You interompt me.
+  You mistake you self heavily.
+  You come too rare.
+
+  _End First Part's_
+
+  ***
+
+  Familiar Dialogues
+
+    _For to wish the good morning._
+
+  How does your father do?
+  He is very well.
+  I am very delight of it. Were is it?
+  I shall come back soon, I was no came that to know how you are.
+
+    _For make a visit in the morning._
+
+  Is your master at home?
+  Yes, sir.
+  Is it up.
+  No, sir, he sleep yet.
+  I go make that he get up.
+  It come in one's? How is it, you are in bed yet?
+  Yesterday at evening, I was to bed so late that
+  I may not rising me soon that morning.
+  Well! what you have done after the supper?
+  We have sung, danced, laugh and played.
+  What game?
+  To the picket.
+  Whom I am sorry do not have know it!
+  Who have prevailed upon?
+  I had gained ten lewis.
+  Till at what o'clock its had play one?
+  Un till two o'clock after mid night.
+  At what o'clock are you go to bed.
+  Half pass three.
+  I am no astonished if you get up so late.
+  What o'clock is it?
+  What o'clock you think is it?
+  I think is not yet eight o'clock.
+  How is that, eight 'clock! it is ten 'clock struck.
+  It must then what I rise me quickly.
+  Adieu, my deer, I leave you. If can to see you at six clock to the
+    hotel from ***, we swill dine togetter.
+  Willingly. Good by.
+
+    _For to dress him self._
+
+  John, make haste, lighted the fire and dress-me.
+  Give me my shirt.
+  There is it sir.
+  Is it no hot, it is too cold yet.
+  If you like, I will hot it.
+  No, no, bring me my silk stocking's.
+  Its are make holes.
+  Make its a point, or make to mend them.
+  Comb me, take another comb. Give me my handkarchief.
+  There is a clean, sir.
+  What coat dress you to day?
+  Those that I had yesterday.
+  The tailor do owe to bring soon that of cloth.
+  Have you wexed my shoes? I go wex its now.
+  It must that I may wash my hands, the mouth and my face.
+
+    _The walk._
+
+  Will you and take a walk with me?
+  Wait for that the warm be out.
+  Go through that meadow.
+  Who the country is beautiful! who the trees are thick!
+  Take the bloom's perfume.
+  It seems me that the corn does push alredy.
+  You hear the bird's gurgling?
+  Which pleasure! which charm!
+  The field has by me a thousand charms.
+  Are you hunter? will you go to the hunting in one day this week?
+  Willingly; I have not a most pleasure in the world. There is some
+    game on they cantons?
+  We have done a great walk.
+
+    _The weather._
+
+  We shall have a fine weather to day.
+  There is some foggy.
+  I fear of the thunderbolt.
+  The sun rise on.
+  The sun lie down.
+  It is light moon's.
+
+    _For to write._
+
+  It is to day courier day's; I have a letter to write.
+  At which does you write?
+  Is not that? look one is that.
+  This letter is arrears.
+  It shall stay to the post. This pen are good for notting. During I
+    finish that letter, do me the goodness to seal this packet; it is
+    by my cousin.
+  How is the day of month?
+  The two, the three, the four, etc.
+  That is some letter to me.
+  Go to bear they letter to the post.
+
+    _The gaming._
+
+  Do you like the gaming?
+  At what pack will you that we does play?
+  To the cards.
+  Waiter, give us a card's game.
+  What is the trump?
+  The club's king.
+  Play, if you please.
+  The heart's aces.
+  We do ought.
+  This time I have a great deal pack.
+
+    _With the tailor._
+
+  Can you do me a coat?
+  What cloth will you do to?
+  From a stuff what be of season.
+  How much wants the ells for coat, waist coat, and breeches?
+  Six ells.
+  What will you to double the coat?
+  From some thing of duration. I believe to you that
+  When do you bring me my coat?
+  The rather that be possible.
+  Bring you my coat?
+  Yes, sir, there is it.
+  You have me done to expect too.
+  I did can't to come rather.
+  It don't are finished?
+  The lining war not sewd.
+  It is so that do one's now.
+  Button me.
+  It pinches me too much upon stomack.
+  The sleeves have not them great deal wideness?
+  No, sir, they are well.
+
+    _With a hair dresser._
+
+  Your razors, are them well?
+  Yes, Sir.
+  Comb-me quickly; don't put me so much pomatum. What news tell me?
+    all hairs dresser are newsmonger.
+  Sir, I have no heared any thing.
+
+    _For to breakfast._
+
+  John bring us some thing for to breakfast.
+  Yes, Sir; there is some sousages. Will you than I bring the ham?
+  Yes, bring-him, we will cup a steak put a nappe clothe upon
+    this table.
+  I you do not eat?
+  How you like the tea.
+  It is excellent.
+  Still a not her cup.
+
+    _For to ask some news._
+
+  It is true what is told of master M***?
+  Then what is told of him?
+  I have heard that he is hurt mortally.
+  I shall be sowow of it, because he is a honestman.
+  Which have wounden him?
+  Do know it why?
+  The noise run that is by to have given a box on the ear
+    to a of them.
+
+    _For to buy._
+
+  I won't have a good and fine cloth to make a coat.
+  How much do you sell it the ell?
+  We thout overcharge you from a halfpenny, it cost twenty franks.
+    Sir, I am not accustomed to cheapen: tell me the last price.
+  I have told you, sir, it is valuable in that.
+  It is too much dear, I give at it, eighteen franks.
+  You shall not have what you have wished.
+  You did beg me my last word, I told you them.
+  Well, well, cut them two ells.
+  Don't you will not more?
+  No, at present.
+
+    _For to dine._
+
+  Go to dine, the dinner is ready.
+  Cut some bread; here is it, I don't know that boiled meat is good.
+  Gentilman, will you have some beans?
+  Peter, uncork a Porto wine bottle.
+  Sir, what will you to?
+  Some pears, and apples, what wilt you?
+  Taste us rather that liquor, it is good for the stomach.
+  I am too much obliged to you, is done.
+
+    _For to speak french._
+
+  How is the french? Are you too learned now?
+  I could to tell some word's that I know by heart.
+  Not apprehend you, the french language is not difficult.
+  I know it, and she have great deal of agreeableness. Who I would
+    be. If I was know it! It must to study for to learn it. How long
+    there is it what you learn it? It is not yet a month. How is
+    called your master?
+  It is called N***
+  I know him it is long; he has teached a many of my friends. Don't
+    he tell you that it must to speak french?
+
+    _For to see the town._
+
+  Anthony, go to accompany they gentilsmen, do they see the town.
+  We won't to see all that is it remarquable here.
+  Admire this master piece gothic architecture's.
+  The chasing of all they figures is astonishing indeed.
+  The streets are very layed out by line and too paved.
+  There is it also hospitals here?
+  It not fail them. What are then the edifices the worthest to
+    have seen?
+  It is the arsnehal, the spectacle's hall, the cusiom-house and
+    the Purse.
+  We are going too see the others monuments such that the public
+    pawnbroker's office, the plants garden's the money office's,
+    the library.
+
+    _To inform oneself of a person._
+
+  How is that gentilman who you did speak by and by.
+  Is a German.
+  Tongh he is German, he speak so much well italyan, french, Spanish,
+  and english, that among the Italyans, they believe him Italyan,
+  he speak the frenche as the Frenches himselves. The Spanishesmen
+  belie ve him Spanishing, and the Englishes, Englisman.
+  It is difficult to enjoy well so much several langages.
+
+    _For to ride a horse._
+
+  Here is a horse who have a bad looks. Give me another; I will
+    not that. He not sail know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered.
+    Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? he is undshoed,
+    he is with nails up; it want to lead to the farrier.
+  Your pistols are its loads?
+  No; I forgot to buy gun-powder and balls. Let us prick. Go us more
+    fast never I was seen a so much bad beast; she will not nor to
+    bring forward neither put back.
+    Strek him the bridle, hold him the reins sharters. Pique
+    stron gly, make to marsh him.
+  I have pricked him enough. But I can't to make march him.
+  Go down, I shall make march.
+  Take care that he not give you a foot kick's.
+  Then he kicks for that I look? Sook here if I knew to tame hix.
+
+    _With a watch maker._
+
+  I bring you a watch that want to be ordered.
+  I had the misfortune to leave fall down the instant where I did
+    mounted, it must to put again a glass.
+    I want not a pendulum? I have them here some very good.
+    Don't you live me her proof againts? I shall not accept that
+      this condition.
+
+    _For to visit a sick._
+
+  How have you passed the night?
+  Very bad. I have not sleeped; I have had the fever during all
+    night. I fell some pain every where body.
+  Live me see your tongue. Have you pain to the heart?
+  Are you altered?
+  Yes, I have thursty often.
+  Your stat have nothing from lrouble some.
+  What I may to eat?
+  You can take a broth.
+  Can I to get up my self?
+  Yes, during a hour or two.
+  Let me have another thing to do?
+  Take care to hold you warme ly, and in two or three days you shall
+    be cured.
+
+    _For to travel._
+
+  Where you go so?
+  I am going to Cadiz.
+  Have you already arrested a coach?
+  Yes, sir, and very cheap.
+  There is it some danger on the highway?
+  It is not spoken that.
+  They speak not that may have some robbers on the woods?
+  It have nothing to fear, or in day neither the night.
+  Don't we does pass for a***?
+  No, sir, they leave it to left.
+  Let us take patience, still some o'clock, and we shall be in the
+    end of our voyage.
+
+    _With a inn keeper._
+
+  What you give us for to take supper.
+  Gentlemen, what you will have.
+  Give us a pigeon couple, a piece of ham and a salad.
+  What have us expended?
+  Theaccout mount in little the supper, the bed and the breakfast,
+    shall get up at thirty franks.
+
+    _From the house-keeping._
+
+  I don't know more what I won't with they servants.
+  I tell the same, it is not more some good servants. Any one take
+    care to sweep neither to make fire at what I may be up.
+  How the times are changed! Anciently I had some servants who were
+    divine my thought. The duty was done at the instant, all things
+    were cleanly hold one may look on the furnitures now as you do
+    see. It is too different, whole is covered from dust; the
+    pierglasses side-boards, the pantries, the chests of drawers, the
+    walls selves, are changed of colours. I do like-it too much.
+  Believe me, send again whole the people; I take upon my self to
+    find you some good servants for to succeed them.
+  Ah! what I shall be oblige to you of it!
+
+    _For the comedy._
+
+  Were you go to the theatre yesterday?
+  Yes, sir; I won't to see the new play in which did owed to play
+    and actress which has not appeared on any theatre.
+  How you think her?
+  She has very much grace in the deeds great deal of exactness on
+    the declamation, a constitution very agreable, and a delightful
+    voice.
+  What you say of the comedy? Have her succeded? It was a drama;
+    it was whistted to the third scene of the last act.
+  Because that?
+  It whant the vehicle, and the intrigue it was bad conducted.
+  So that they won't waited even the upshot?
+  No, it was divined.
+  In the mean time them did diliver justice to the players which
+    generaly have play very well.
+  At the exception by a one's self, who had land very much hir's
+    part.
+  It want to have not any indulgence towards the bat buffoons.
+  Have you seen already the new tragedy? They
+    praise her very much.
+  It is multitude already.
+  Never I had seen the parlour so full.
+  This actor he make very well her part.
+  That piece is full of interest.
+  It have wondered the spectadors.
+  The curtains let down.
+  Go out us.
+
+    _The hunting._
+
+  There is it some game in this wood?
+  Another time there was plenty some black beasts and thin game, but
+    the poachers have killed almost all.
+  Look a hare who run! let do him to pursue for the hounds! it go
+    one's self in the ploughed land.
+  Here that it rouse. Let aim it! let make fire him!
+  I have put down killed.
+  Me, I have failed it; my gun have miss fixe.
+  I see a hind.
+  Let leave to pass away, don't disturte it.
+  I have heard that it is plenty pardridges this year.
+  Have you killed also some thrushes.
+  Here certainly a very good hunting.
+
+    _The fishing._
+
+  That pond it seems me many multiplied of fishes. Let us amuse
+    rather to the fishing.
+  Here, there is a wand and some hooks.
+  Silence! there is a superb perch! Give me quick the rod. Ah!
+    there is, it is a lamprey. You mistake you, it is a frog! dip
+    again it in the water.
+
+    _With a furniture tradesman._
+
+  It seems no me new.
+  Pardon me, it comes workman's hands.
+  Which hightness want you its?
+  I want almost four feet six thumbs wide's, over seven of long.
+
+    _For embarking one's self._
+
+  Don't you fear the privateers!
+  I jest of them; my vessel is armed in man of war, I have a
+    vigilant and courageous equipage, and the ammunitions don't want
+    me its.
+  Never have you not done wreck?
+  That it is arrived me twice.
+
+    _With a gardener._
+
+  Shall I eat some plums soon?
+  It is not the season yet; but here is some peaches what does ripen
+    at the eye sight.
+  It delay me to eat some wal nuts-kernels; take care not leave to
+    pass the season.
+  Be tranquil, I shall throw you any nuts during the shell is green
+    yet.
+  The artichoks grow its?
+  I have a particular care of its, because I know you like the
+    bottoms.
+  It must to cup the trees.
+  It should pull the bad grasses up.
+
+    _The books and of the reading._
+
+  Do you like the reading good deal too many which seem me?
+  That is to me a amusement.
+
+      _The field._
+
+  All the fields that you see thither were been neglected; it must I
+    shall grub up and to plough its.
+  The ground seems me a little scour with sand and yet it may one
+    make it bring up; I want be fumed time by time.
+
+    _The writing._
+
+  Your pens have any notches, and its spit.
+  How do you like its? will you its are fine or broad?
+  I won't me also a wafer or some sealing wax and a seal.
+  In this drawer, there is all that, falding stick, rule, scraper,
+    saud, etc.
+  There is the postman I go to put it him again.
+
+    _With a bookseller._
+
+  What is there in new's litterature?
+  Little or almost nothing, it not appears any thing of note.
+  And yet one imprint many deal.
+  But why, you and another book seller, you does not to imprint some
+    good wooks?
+  There is a reason for that, it is that you cannot to sell its. The
+    actual-liking of the public is depraved they does not read who
+    for to amuse one's self ant but to instruct one's.
+  But the letter's men who cultivate the arts and the sciences they
+    can't to pass without the books.
+  A little learneds are happies enough for to may to satisfy their
+    fancies on the literature.
+  Have you found the Buff on who I had call for?
+  I have only been able to procure the octodecimo edition, which is
+    embellished with plates beautifully coloured.
+
+    _With a dentist._
+
+  I have the teetht-ache.
+  Is it a fluxion, or have you a bad tooth?
+  I think that is a bad tooth; please you to examine my mouth?
+  You have a bad tooth; will you pull out this tooth?
+  I can't to decide me it, that make me many great deal pain.
+  Your tooth is absolutely roted; if you leave it; shall spoil the
+    others.
+  In such case draw it.
+  I shall you neat also your mouth, and you could care entertain it
+    clean, for to preserve the mamel of the teeth; I could give you
+    a opiate for to strengthen the gums.
+  I thank you; I prefer the only means, which is to rinse the mouth
+    with some water, or a little brandy.
+
+    _With a laundress._
+
+  Who lhat be too washed, too many soaped, and the shirts put through
+    the buck. You may be sure; never I do else.
+
+    _For to swim._
+
+  I row upon the belly on the back and between two waters.
+  I am not so dexte rous that you.
+  Nothing is more easy than to swim; it do not what don't to be
+  afraid of.
+
+    _The french language._
+
+  Do you study?
+  Yes, sir, I attempts to translate of french by portuguese.
+  Do you know already the principal grammars rules?
+  I am appleed my self at to learn its by heart.
+  Do speak french alwais?
+  Some times: though I flay it yet.
+  You jest, you does express you self very well.
+
+  ***
+
+  Familiar Letters.
+
+    _Racine to M. Fitart._
+
+My uncle what will to treat her beshop in a great sumptuouness, he
+was go Avignon for to buy what one not should find there, and he had
+leave me the charge to provide all things. I have excellent business,
+as you see, and I know some thing more than to eat my soup, since I
+know do to prepare it. I did learn that it must give to the first, to
+second, and to the third service, by dishes that want to join, and
+yet some thing more; because we does pretend make a feast at four
+services without to account the dessert. Good bye, my dear sir, etc.
+
+    _Mothe to the duchess of the Maine._
+
+My lady, I have a complaint to present you. So much happy that might
+be one's self, one have not all theirs eases in this world. Your
+letters are shortest. You have plaied wonderfully all sentiments;
+less her prattle, etc.
+
+    _Montesquieu to the abbot Nicolini._
+
+Allow me, my dear abbot, who I remind me of your friendship. I
+recommend you M. of the Condamine. I shall tell you nothing, else he
+is a of my friends. Her great celebrity may tell you from others
+things, and her presence will say you the remains. My dear abbot, I
+will love you even the death.
+
+  ***
+
+  Anecdotes.
+
+Guttler, a very rich man too many avaricious, commonly he was travel
+at a horse, and single for to avoid all expenses. In the evening at
+to arrive at the inn did feign to be indispose, to the end that one
+bring him the supper. He did ordered to the stable knave to bring in
+their room some straw, for to put in their boots he made to warm her
+bed and was go lo sleep. When the servant was draw again, he come up
+ again, and with the straw of their boots, and the candle Avhat was
+leave him he made a small fire where he was roast a herring what he
+did keep of her pocket. He was always the precaution one to provide
+him self of a small of bread and one bring up a water bottle, and
+thus with a little money.
+
+  **
+
+A blind did hide five hundred crowns in a corner of their garden; but
+a neighbour, which was perceive it, did dig up and took its. The
+blind not finding more her money, was suspect that might be the
+robed, but one work for take again it? He was going find the
+ neighbour, and told him that he came to get him a council; than he
+was a thousand crowns which the half was hided into a sure part and I
+don't know if want, if to put the remains to the same part. The
+neighbour was council him so and was hasten to carry back that sum,
+in the hope soon to draw out a thousand. But the blind having finded
+the money, was seized it, having called her neighbour, he told him:
+"Gossip, the blind saw clearer than this that may have two eyes."
+
+  **
+
+A man one's was presented at a magistrate which had a considerable
+library. "What you make?" beg him the magistrate. "I do some books,"
+ he was answered. "But any of your books I did not seen its.--I
+believe it so, was answered the author; I mak nothing for Paris. From
+a of my works is imprinted, I send the edition for America; I don't
+compose what to colonies."
+
+  **
+
+One eyed was laied against a man which had good eyes that he saw
+better than him. The party was accepted. "I had gain, over said the
+one eyed; why I see you two eyes, and you not look me who one."
+
+  **
+
+A english lord was in their bed tormented, cruelly of the gout, when
+was announced him a pretended physician, which had a remedy sure
+against that illness. "That doctor came in coach or on foot?" was
+request the lord. "On foot," was answered him the servant. "Well, was
+replied the sick, go tell to the knave what go back one's self,
+because if he was the remedy, which he exalt him self, he should roll
+a coach at six horses, and I would be send for him my self and to
+offer him the half part of my lands for to be delivered of my
+sickness."
+
+  **
+
+A duchess accused of magic being interrogated for a commissary
+extremely unhandsome, this was beg him selve one she had look the
+devil. "Yes, sir, I did see him, was answer the duchess, and he was
+like you as two water's drops."
+
+  **
+
+A Lady, which was to dine, chid to her servant that she not had used
+butter enough. This girl, for to excuse him selve, was bing a little
+cat on the hand, and told that she came to take him in the crime,
+finishing to eat the two pounds from butter who remain. The Lady took
+immediately the cat, was put into the balances it had not weighted
+that one an half pound.
+
+  **
+
+A countryman which came through to Paris upon the bridge to the
+change, not had perceived merchandises in several shops. The
+curiosity take him, he come near of a exchange desk:--"Sir, had he
+beg from a look simple, tell me what you sell." The loader though
+that he may to divert of the personage:--"I sell, was answered him
+asse's heads."--"Indeed, reply to him the countryman, you make of it
+a great sale, because it not remains more but one in your shop."
+
+  **
+
+The commander Forbin of Janson, being at a repast with a celebrated
+Boileau, had undertaken to pun him upon her name:--"What name, told
+him, carry you thither? Boileau: I would wish better to call me
+Drink wine." The poet was answered him in the same tune:--"And you,
+sir, what name have you choice? Janson: I should prefer to be named
+John-Meal. The meal don't is valuable better than the furfur?"
+
+  **
+
+A physician eighty years of age had enjoicd of a health unalterable.
+Theirs friends did him of it compliments every days: "Mister doctor,
+they said to him, you are admirable man. What you make then for to
+bear you as well?--I shall tell you it, gentlemen he was answered
+them, and I exhort you in same time at to follow my exemple. I live
+of the product of my ordering without take any remedy who I command
+to my sicks."
+
+  **
+
+A countryman was confessed to the parson to have robbed a mutton at a
+farmer of her neighbourhood. "My friend, told him the confessor, it
+must to return, or you shall not have the absolution.--But repply the
+villager, I had eated him.--So much worse, told him the pastor; you
+vill be the devil sharing; because in the wide vale where me ought to
+appear we before God every one shall spoken against you, even the
+mutton. How! repply the countryman, the mutton will find in that
+part? I am very glad of that; then the restitution shall be easy,
+since I shall not have to tell to the farmer: "Neighbour take your
+mutton again."
+
+  **
+
+Plato walking one's self a day to the field with some of their
+friends. They were to see him Diogenes who was in to water untill the
+chin. The superficies of the water was snowed, for the reserve of the
+hole that Diogenes was made. "Don't look it more told them Plato, and
+he shall get out soon."
+
+  **
+
+A day came a man consult this philosopher for to know at o'clock it
+was owe to eat. If thou art rich, told him eat when you shall wish;
+if you are poor, when you may do.
+
+  **
+
+At the middle of a night very dark, a blind was walk in the streets
+with a light on the hand and a full jar upon the back. Some one which
+ran do meet him, and surprised of that light: "Simple that you are,
+told him, what serve you this light? The night and the day are not
+them the same thing by you!--It is not for me, was answering the
+blind, that I bring this light, it is to the and that the giddie
+swhich seem to you do not come to run against me, and make to break
+my jar."
+
+  ***
+
+  Idiotisms and Proverbs.
+
+  **
+
+  The necessity don't know the low.
+  Few, few the bird make her nest.
+  He is not valuable to breat that he eat.
+  Its are some blu stories.
+  Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss.
+  He sin in trouble water.
+  A bad arrangement is better than a process.
+  He has a good beak.
+  In the country of blinds, the one eyed men are kings.
+  To build castles in Espagnish.
+  Cat scalded fear the cold water.
+  To do the fine spirit.
+  With a tongue one go to Roma.
+  There is not any rnler without a exception.
+  Take out the live coals with the hand of the cat.
+  A horse baared don't look him the tooth.
+  Take the occasion for the hairs.
+  To do a wink to some body.
+  So many go the jar to spring, than at last rest there.
+  He eat untill to can't more.
+  Which like Bertram, love hir dog.
+  It want to beat the iron during it is hot.
+  He is not so devil as he is black.
+  It is better be single as a bad company.
+  The stone as roll not heap up not foam.
+  They shurt him the doar in face.
+  He has fond the knuckle of the business.
+  He turns as a weath turcocl.
+  There is not better sauce who the appetite.
+  The pains come at horse and turn one's self at foot.
+  He is beggar as a church rat.
+  So much go the jar to spring that at last it break there.
+  To force to forge, becomes smith.
+  Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot.
+  Friendship of a child is water into a basket.
+  At some thing the misforte is good.
+  Burn the politeness.
+  Tell me whom thou frequent, I will tell you which you are.
+  After the paunch comes the dance.
+  Of the hand to mouth, one lose often the soup.
+  To look for a needle in a hay bundle.
+  To craunch the marmoset.
+  To buy cat in pocket.
+  To be as a fish into the water.
+  To make paps for the cats.
+  To fatten the foot.
+  To come back at their muttons.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of English as she is spoke, by 
+José da Fonseca and Pedro Carolino
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE ***
+
+***** This file should be named 30411-8.txt or 30411-8.zip *****
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diff --git a/old/30411-8.zip b/old/30411-8.zip
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of English as she is spoke, by
+Jose da Fonseca and Pedro Carolino
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: English as she is spoke
+       or, A jest in sober earnest
+
+Author: Jose da Fonseca
+        Pedro Carolino
+
+Release Date: November 7, 2009 [EBook #30411]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Doran Gaston
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  English
+  As She is Spoke:
+
+  or
+
+  A Jest in Sober Earnest.
+
+  No. I.
+
+  The Parchment Paper Series.
+
+  _English As She is Spoke._
+
+"EXCRUCIATINGLY FUNNY," says _The World_, is "English as she is
+Spoke, or a Jest in Sober thought."
+
+  --
+
+"EVERY one who loves a laugh," says _Fun_, "should either buy, beg,
+borrow, or--we had almost said steal--this book; for in sober earnest
+we aver that it is not given to every one to 'jest so.'"
+
+  English
+  As She is Spoke:
+
+  or
+
+  A Jest in Sober Earnest.
+
+  With an Introduction by
+
+  JAMES MILLINGTON.
+
+  ***
+
+  New York: D. Appleton & Co., 1, 3, & 5 Bond Street.
+
+  1884.
+
+  * Introduction *
+
+  **
+
+_FROM_ the time of Shakspere downwards, wits and authors innumerable
+have made themselves and the public more or less merry at the expense
+of the earlier efforts of the student of a strange tongue; but it has
+been reserved to our own time for a _soi disant_ instructor to
+perpetrate--at his own expense--the monstrous joke of publishing a
+Guide to Conversation in a language of which it is only too evident
+that every word is utterly strange to him. The Teutonic sage who
+evolved the ideal portrait of an elephant from his "inner
+consciousness" was a commonplace, matter-of fact person compared with
+the daring visionary who conjures up a complete system of language
+from the same fertile but untrustworthy source. The piquancy of
+Senhor Pedro Carolino's _New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese
+and English_ is enhanced by the evident _bona fides_ and careful
+compilation of "the little book," or as Pedro himself gravely
+expresses it, "for the care what we wrote him, and for her
+typographical correction."
+
+In short, the _New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and
+English_ was written with serious intent, and for the purpose of
+initiating Portuguese students into the mysteries of the English
+language. The earlier portions of the book are divided into three
+columns, the first giving the Portuguese; the second what, in the
+opinion of the author, is the English equivalent; and the third the
+English equivalent phonetically spelt, so that the tyro may at the
+same time master our barbarous phraseology and the pronunciation
+thereof. In the second part of the work the learner is supposed to
+have sufficiently mastered the pronunciation of the English language,
+to be left to his own devices.
+
+A little consideration of the shaping of our author's English phrases
+leads to the conclusion that the materials used have been a
+Portuguese-French phrase-book and a French-English dictionary. With
+these slight impedimenta has the daring Lusitanian ventured upon the
+unknown deep of a strange language, and the result, to quote again
+from the Preface, "May be worth the acceptation of the studious
+persons, and especially of the Youth, at which we dedicate him
+particularly," but will at all events contribute not a little to the
+Youth's hilarity.
+
+To begin with the vocabulary; it is perhaps hardly fair to expect a
+professor of languages to trouble himself with "Degrees of Kindred,"
+still, such titles as "Gossip mistress, a relation, an relation, a
+guardian, an guardian, the quatergrandfather, the quater-grandmother,"
+require some slight elucidation, and passing over the catalogue of
+articles of dress which are denominated "Objects of Man" and "Woman
+Objects," one may take exception to "crumbs" and "groceries," which
+are inserted among plates and cruets as ordinary table garniture.
+
+Among what are denominated "Eatings" we find "some wigs," "a dainty
+dishes," "a mutton shoulder," "a little mine," "hog-fat," and "an
+amelet": the _menu_ is scarcely appetising, especially when among
+"Fishes and Shellfishes" our Portuguese Lucullus sets down the
+"hedgehog," "snail," and "wolf." After this such trifles as "starch"
+arranged under the heading of "Metals and Minerals," and "brick" and
+"whitelead" under that of "Common Stones" fall almost flat; but one
+would like to be initiated into the mysteries of "gleek," "carousal,"
+and "keel," which are gravely asserted to be "Games." Among "Chivalry
+Orders" one has a glimmering of what is intended by "Saint
+Michaelmas" and "Very-Merit"; but under the heading of "Degrees,"
+although by a slight exercise of the imagination we can picture to
+ourselves "a quater master," "a general to galeries," or even a
+"vessel captain," we are entirely nonplussed by "a harbinger" and "a
+parapet."
+
+Passing on to "Familiar Phrases," most of which appear to be old
+friends with new faces, Senhor Carolino's literal cribs from the
+French become more and more apparent, in spite of his boast in the
+Preface of being "clean of gallicisms and despoiled phrases." "Apply
+you at the study during that you are young" is doubtless an excellent
+precept, and as he remarks further on "How do you can it to deny";
+but study may be misdirected, and in the moral, no less than in the
+material world, it is useful to know. "That are the dishes whom you
+must be and to abstain"; while the meaning of "This girl have a
+beauty edge" is scarcely clear unless it relates to the preternatural
+acuteness of the fair sex in these days of board schools and woman's
+rights.
+
+Further on the conversationalist appears to get into rough company,
+and we find him remarking "He laughs at my nose, he jest by me,"
+gallice "_Il me rit au nez, il se moque de moi_"; "He has me take out
+my hairs," "He does me some kicks," "He has scratch the face with
+hers nails," all doubtless painfully translated with the assistance
+of a French-English dictionary from "_Il m'a arrache les cheveux_,"
+"_Il me donne des coups-de-pied_," "_Il m'a lacere la figure de ses
+ongles_." It is noticeable that our instructor as a rule endeavours
+to make the possessive pronoun agree with the substantive in number
+and gender in orthodox Portuguese fashion, and that like a true
+grammatical patriot he insists upon the substantive having the same
+gender as in his native tongue; therefore "_as unhas_" must be
+rendered "hers nails" and "_vossas civilidades_" "yours civilities."
+By this time no one will be disposed to contradict our inimitable
+Pedro when he remarks "_E facteo_" giving the translation as "He has
+the word for to laugh," a construction bearing a suspicious
+resemblance to "_Il a le mot pour rire._" "He do the devil at four"
+has no reference to an artful scheme for circumventing the Archfiend
+at a stated hour, but is merely a simulacrum of the well-known gallic
+idiomatic expression "_Il fait le diable a quatre._" Truly this is
+excellent fooling; _Punch_ in his wildest humour, backed by the whole
+colony of Leicester Square, could not produce funnier English.
+"He burns one's self the brains," "He was fighted in duel," "They
+fight one's selfs together," "He do want to fall," would be more
+intelligible if less picturesque in their original form of "_Il se
+brule la cervelle_," "_Il s'cet battu en duel_," "_lis se battent
+ensemble_," "_Il manque de tomber_." The comic vein running through
+the "Familiar Phrases" is so inexhaustible that space forbids further
+quotation from this portion of the book, which may be appropriately
+closed with "Help to a little most the better yours terms," a
+mysterious adjuration, which a reference to the original Portuguese
+leads one to suppose may be a daring guess at "_Choisissez un pen
+mieux vos paroles_."
+
+In the second part, entitled "Familiar Dialogues," the fun grows fast
+and furious. Let us accompany our mad wag upon "The walk." "You hear
+the bird's gurgling?" he enquires, and then rapturously exclaims
+"Which pleasure! which charm! The field has by me a thousand
+charms"; after this, to the question "Are you hunter? Will you go to
+the hunting in one day this week?" he responds "Willingly; I have not
+a most pleasure in the world. There is some game on they cantons."
+Proceeding from "game" to "gaming" we soon run aground upon the word
+"_jeu_," which as we know does duty in French both for a game and a
+pack of cards. "At what pack will you that we does play?" "To the
+cards." Of course this is "_A quel Jeu voulez vous que nous
+Jouions?_" "_Aux cartes_;" and further on "This time I have a great
+deal pack," "_Cette fois j'ai un jeu excellent!_"
+
+Now let us listen to our friend at his tailor's: his greeting is
+perky--almost slangy. "Can you do me a coat?" he enquires, but
+quickly drivels down to "What cloth will you do to?" and then to the
+question "What will you to double (_doubler_) the coat?" obtains the
+satisfactory answer "From something of duration. I believe to you
+that." After requesting to have his garment "The rather that be
+possible," he overwhelms the procrastinating man of cloth with the
+stern remark "You have me done to expect too," evidently a bold
+version of "_Vous m' avez fait trop attendre_," which draws forth the
+natural excuse "I did can't to come rather." Passing by a number of
+good things which one would like to analyse if space permitted, we
+arrive at "For to ride a horse," a fine little bit of word painting
+almost Carlylean in its grotesqueness. "Here is a horse who have a
+ bad looks. He not sail know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered.
+Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? he is unshoed, he is
+with nails up; it want to lead to the farrier." "Let us prick
+(_piquons_) go us more fast, never I was seen a so much bad beast;
+she will not nor to bring forward neither put back." "Strek him the
+bridle," cries the horsedealer, "Hold him the rein sharters." "Pique
+stron gly, make to marsh him." "I have pricked him enough. But
+I can't to make marsh him," replies the indignant client. "Go down, I
+shall make marsh," declares the dealer; upon which the incensed
+equestrian rejoins "Take care that he not give you a foot kicks," and
+the "coper" sardonically but somewhat incoherently concludes with
+"Then he kicks for that I look? Sook here if I knew to tame hix."
+
+After the "Familiar Dialogues" we come upon a series of letters from
+celebrated personages, who would be puzzled to recognize themselves
+in their new dresses; and a collection of anecdotes which may be
+taken singly after dinner as a gentle promoter of digestion; the
+whole being appropriately concluded with "Idiotisms and Proverbs,"
+between which it must be confessed the distinction is purely
+imaginary; the following are a few gems: "Its are some blu stories"
+(_contes bleus_); "Nothing some money, nothing some Swiss," "He sin
+in trouble water" (confusion of _pecher_ and _pecher_). "A horse
+baared don't look him the tooth," "The stone as roll not heap up not
+foam," _mousse_ meaning both foam and moss, of course the wrong
+meaning is essential to a good "idiotism." "To force to forge,
+becomes smith" (_a force de forger on devient forgeron_). "To
+craunch the marmoset" and "To fatten the foot" may terminate the
+list, and are incontestably more idiotic, although scarcely so
+idiomatic as "_Croquer le marmot_" and "_Graisser lapatte_."
+
+The column in Portuguese which runs throughout the original work is
+omitted, and only a sufficient number of the English extracts are
+culled to enable the reader to form a just idea of the
+unintentionally humorous style that an author may fall into who
+attempts to follow the intricacies of "English as she is spoke" by
+the aid of a French dictionary and a phrasebook.
+
+It is to be trusted the eccentric "Guide" to which this short sketch
+is intended to serve as Introduction--and, so far as may be,
+elucidation--is not a fair specimen of Portuguese or Brazilian
+educational literature; if such be the case the schoolmaster is
+indeed "abroad," and one may justly fear that his instruction--to
+quote once more the Preface--"only will be for to accustom the
+Portuguese pupils, or foreign, to speak very bad any of the mentioned
+idioms."
+
+  ***
+
+  Preface.
+
+  [Author's]
+
+_A CHOICE of_ familiar dialogues, _clean of gallicisms, and despoiled
+phrases, it was missing yet to studious Portuguese and brazilian
+Youth; and also to persons of others nations, that wish to know the
+Portuguese language. We sought all we may do, to correct that want,
+composing and divising the present little work in two parts. The
+first includes a greatest vocabulary proper names by alphabetical
+order; and the second forty three_ Dialogues _adapted to the usual
+precisions of the life. For that reason we did put, with a scrupulous
+exactness, a great variety own expressions to english and Portuguese
+idioms; without to attach us selves (as make some others) almost at a
+literal translation; translation what only will be for to accustom
+the Portuguese pupils, or-foreign, to speak very bad any of the
+mentioned idioms._
+
+_We were increasing this second edition with a phraseology, in the
+first part, and some familiar letters, anecdotes, idiotisms,
+proverbs, and to second a coin's index._
+
+_The_ Works _which we were confering for this labour, fond use us for
+nothing; but those what were publishing to Portugal, or out, they
+were almost all composed for some foreign, or for some national
+little acquainted in the spirit of both languages. It was resulting
+from that carelessness to rest these_ Works _fill of imperfections,
+and anomalies of style; in spite of the infinite typographical faults
+which some times, invert the sense of the periods. It increase not to
+contain any of those_ Works _the figured pronunciation of the english
+words, nor the prosodical accent in the Portuguese; indispensable
+object whom wish to speak the english and Portuguese languages
+correctly._
+
+_We expect then, who the little book (for the care what we wrote him,
+and for her typographical correction) that may be worth the
+acceptation of the studious persons, and especially of the Youth, at
+which we dedicate him particularly._
+
+  ***
+
+  _English as she is spoke._
+
+  **
+
+                       Of the Man.
+
+  The Brain                 | The inferior lip
+  The brains                | The superior lip
+  The fat of the Leg        | The marrow
+  The ham                   | The reins
+
+                   Defects of the body.
+
+  A blind                   | A left handed
+  A lame                    | An ugly
+  A bald                    | A squint-eyed
+                        A deaf
+
+                    Degrees of kindred.
+
+  The gossip                | the quater-grandfather
+  The gossip mistress       | The quater-grandmother
+  The Nurse                 | A guardian
+  A relation                | An guardian
+  An relation               | A widower
+                        An widow.
+
+                          Trades.
+
+  Starch-maker              | Porter
+  Barber                    | Chinaman
+  Coffeeman                 | Founder
+  Porkshop-keeper           | Grave-digger
+  Cartwright                | Tradesman
+  Tinker, a brasier         | Stockingmender
+  Nailer                    | Lochsmith
+
+                      Objects of man.
+
+  The boots                 | The lining
+  The buckles               | The clogs
+  The buttons-holes         | The wig
+  The buskins               | the morning-gown, night-gown
+
+                      Woman objects.
+
+  The busk                  | The paint or disguise
+  The sash                  | The spindle
+  The conet                 | The patches
+  The pumps                 | The skate
+
+                        Servants.
+
+  Coochmann                 | Spendth
+  Running footman           | Business-man
+                          Groome.
+
+                        Diseases.
+
+  The apoplexy              | The megrime
+  The scrofulas             | The whitlow
+  The melancholy            | The rheumatisme
+                      The vomitory.
+
+                      Parties a Town.
+
+  The butchery              | The low eating house
+  The cause-way             | The obelis-ks
+  The sink                  | The prison, geol
+
+                      Kitchen utensils.
+
+  The skimming-dish         | The spark
+  The potlid                | The fire
+  The pothanger             | The smoke
+  The spunge                | The clout
+                         The jack.
+
+                        Of the bed.
+
+  The bed wood              | The feet's bed
+  The bed battom            | The pillar's bed
+                      The head's bed.
+
+                      For the table.
+
+  Some knifes               | Some groceries
+                        Some crumb.
+
+                         Eatings.
+
+  Some sugar-plum           | Hog fat
+  Some wigs                 | Some marchpanes
+  A chitterling sausages.   | An amelet
+  A dainty-dishes           | A slice, steak
+  A mutton shoulder         | Vegetables boiled to a pap
+
+                        Seasonings.
+
+  Some wing                 | Some pinions
+  Some cinnamon             | Some hog'slard
+  Some oranges              | Some verjuice
+
+                         Drinkings.
+
+  Some orgeat               | Some paltry wine
+                    Some sirup or sirop
+
+                    Quadruped's beasts.
+
+  Lamb                      | Roebuck
+  Ass                       | Dragon
+  Shi ass                   | wild sow
+  Ass-colt                  | Lioness
+  Ram, aries                | Dormouse
+
+                          Birds.
+
+  Becafico                  | Heuth-cock
+  Calander                  | Whoop
+  Stor                      | Pea cock
+  Yeung turkey              | Pinch
+                    Red-Breast, a robin
+
+                      Insects-reptiles.
+
+  Asp, aspic                | Fly
+  Morpion                   | Butter fly
+                         Serpent.
+
+                  Fishes and shell-fishes.
+
+  Calamary                  | Large lobster
+  Dorado                    | Snail
+  A sorte of fish           | Wolf
+  Hedge hog                 | Torpedo
+                          Sea-calf.
+
+                          Trees.
+
+  Lote-tree lotos           | Service-tree
+  Chest nut-tree            | Jujube-tree
+                        Linden-tree.
+
+Flowers.
+
+  Anemony                   | Mil-foils
+  Blue-bottle               | Hink
+                         Turnsol.
+
+                         Hunting.
+
+  Hunting dog               | Picker
+  Relay dog                 | Gun-powder
+  Hound dog                 | Priming-powder
+  Hound's fee               | Hunts man
+
+                         Colours.
+
+  White                     | Gridelin
+  Cray                      | Musk
+                           Red.
+
+                    Metals and minerals.
+
+  Starch                    | Latten
+  Cooper                    | Plaster
+                         Vitriole
+
+                      Common stones.
+
+  Loadstones                | White lead
+  Brick                     | Gum-stone
+
+                         Weights.
+
+  Counterpoise              | An obole
+  A pound an half           | A quater ounce.
+
+                          Games.
+
+  Football-ball             | Pile
+  Bar                       | Mall
+  Gleek                     | Even or non even
+  Carousal                  | Keel
+
+                         Perfumes.
+
+  Benzion                   | Pomatum
+  Perfume paw               | Storax
+
+                        On the church.
+
+  The sides of the nef      | The little cellal
+  The holywater-pot         | The boby of the church
+
+                      Solemn-feasts.
+
+  The Deads-day             | The Vigil
+  The Twelfth-Dat           | The Visitation
+
+                  Ecclesiastical dignities.
+
+  Incumbent                 | General of an order
+  Canon                     | Penitentiary
+  Canoness                  | Theologist
+  Chanter, a clerk          | General curate
+
+                      Chivalry orders.
+
+  Black eagle               | Elephant
+  Avis, advice              | Honour Legion
+  Calatrava                 | Saint Michaelmas
+                        Very-merit.
+
+                         Degrees.
+
+  A cannoneer               | A general to galeries
+  A vessel captain          | A great admiral
+  A harbinger               | A king a lieutenant
+  A parapet                 | A quater master
+  A army general            | A vice admiral's ship
+
+                      Military objects.
+
+  The bait.                 | The fire pan
+  An arquebuse              | A bomb ketch
+  A bandoleer               | The military case
+                      A fusil, a gun.
+
+                    Music's instruments.
+
+  A flagelet                | A dreum
+                      A hurdy-gurdy.
+
+                      Chastisements.
+
+  A fine                    | To break upon
+  Honourable fine           | To tear off the flesh
+                To draw to four horses
+
+  ***
+
+  Familiar Phrases.
+
+  Go to send for.
+  Have you say that?
+  Have you understand that he says?
+  At what purpose have say so?
+  Put your confidence at my.
+  At what o'clock dine him?
+  Apply you at the study during that you are young.
+  Dress your hairs.
+  Sing an area.
+  These apricots and these peaches make me and to come water in mouth.
+  How do you can it to deny?
+  Wax my shoes.
+  That is that I have think.
+  That are the dishes whose you must be and to abstain.
+  This meat ist not too over do.
+  This ink is white.
+  This room is filled of bugs.
+  This girl have a beauty edge.
+  It is a noise which to cleave the head.
+  This wood is fill of thief's.
+  Tell me, it can one to know?
+  Give me some good milk newly get out.
+  To morrow hi shall be entirely (her master) or unoccupied.
+  She do not that to talk and to cackle.
+  Dry this wine.
+  He laughs at my nose, he jest by me.
+  He has spit in my coat.
+  He has me take out my hairs.
+  He does me some kicks.
+  He has scratch the face with hers nails.
+  He burns one's self the brains.
+  He is valuable his weight's gold.
+  He has the word for to laugh.
+  He do the devil at four.
+  He make to weep the room.
+  He was fighted in duel.
+  They fight one's selfs together.
+  He do want to fall.
+  It must never to laugh of the unhappies.
+  He was wanting to be killed.
+  I am confused all yours civilities.
+  I am catched cold.
+  I not make what to coughand spit.
+  Never I have feeld a such heat
+  Till say-us?
+  Till hither.
+  I have put my stockings outward.
+  I have croped the candle.
+  I have mind to vomit.
+  I will not to sleep on street.
+  I am catched cold in the brain.
+  I am pinking me with a pin.
+  I dead myself in envy to see her.
+  I take a broth all morning.
+  I shall not tell you than two woods.
+  Have you understanded?
+  Let him have know?
+  Have you understand they?
+  Do you know they?
+  Do you know they to?
+  The storm is go over.
+  The sun begins to dissipe it.
+  Witch prefer you?
+  The paving stone is sliphery.
+  The thunderbolt is falling down.
+  The rose-trees begins to button.
+  The ears are too length.
+  The hands itch at him.
+  Have you forgeted me?
+  Lay him hir apron.
+  Help-to a little most the better yours terms.
+  Dont you are awaken yet?
+  That should must me to cost my life.
+  We are in the canicule.
+  No budge you there.
+  Do not might one's understand to speak.
+  Where are their stockings, their shoes, her shirt and her petlicot?
+  One's can to believe you?
+  One's find-modest the young men rarely.
+  If can't to please at every one's.
+  Take that boy and whip him to much.
+  Take attention to cut you self.
+  Take care to dirt you self.
+  Dress my horse.
+  Since you not go out, I shall go out nor I neither.
+  That may dead if I lie you.
+  What is it who want you?
+  Why you no helps me to?
+  Upon my live.
+  All trees have very deal bear.
+  A throat's ill.
+  You shall catch cold one's.
+  You make grins.
+  Will some mutton?
+  Will you fat or slight?
+  Will you this?
+  Will you a bon?
+  You not make who to babble.
+  You not make that to prate all day's work.
+  You interompt me.
+  You mistake you self heavily.
+  You come too rare.
+
+  _End First Part's_
+
+  ***
+
+  Familiar Dialogues
+
+    _For to wish the good morning._
+
+  How does your father do?
+  He is very well.
+  I am very delight of it. Were is it?
+  I shall come back soon, I was no came that to know how you are.
+
+    _For make a visit in the morning._
+
+  Is your master at home?
+  Yes, sir.
+  Is it up.
+  No, sir, he sleep yet.
+  I go make that he get up.
+  It come in one's? How is it, you are in bed yet?
+  Yesterday at evening, I was to bed so late that
+  I may not rising me soon that morning.
+  Well! what you have done after the supper?
+  We have sung, danced, laugh and played.
+  What game?
+  To the picket.
+  Whom I am sorry do not have know it!
+  Who have prevailed upon?
+  I had gained ten lewis.
+  Till at what o'clock its had play one?
+  Un till two o'clock after mid night.
+  At what o'clock are you go to bed.
+  Half pass three.
+  I am no astonished if you get up so late.
+  What o'clock is it?
+  What o'clock you think is it?
+  I think is not yet eight o'clock.
+  How is that, eight 'clock! it is ten 'clock struck.
+  It must then what I rise me quickly.
+  Adieu, my deer, I leave you. If can to see you at six clock to the
+    hotel from ***, we swill dine togetter.
+  Willingly. Good by.
+
+    _For to dress him self._
+
+  John, make haste, lighted the fire and dress-me.
+  Give me my shirt.
+  There is it sir.
+  Is it no hot, it is too cold yet.
+  If you like, I will hot it.
+  No, no, bring me my silk stocking's.
+  Its are make holes.
+  Make its a point, or make to mend them.
+  Comb me, take another comb. Give me my handkarchief.
+  There is a clean, sir.
+  What coat dress you to day?
+  Those that I had yesterday.
+  The tailor do owe to bring soon that of cloth.
+  Have you wexed my shoes? I go wex its now.
+  It must that I may wash my hands, the mouth and my face.
+
+    _The walk._
+
+  Will you and take a walk with me?
+  Wait for that the warm be out.
+  Go through that meadow.
+  Who the country is beautiful! who the trees are thick!
+  Take the bloom's perfume.
+  It seems me that the corn does push alredy.
+  You hear the bird's gurgling?
+  Which pleasure! which charm!
+  The field has by me a thousand charms.
+  Are you hunter? will you go to the hunting in one day this week?
+  Willingly; I have not a most pleasure in the world. There is some
+    game on they cantons?
+  We have done a great walk.
+
+    _The weather._
+
+  We shall have a fine weather to day.
+  There is some foggy.
+  I fear of the thunderbolt.
+  The sun rise on.
+  The sun lie down.
+  It is light moon's.
+
+    _For to write._
+
+  It is to day courier day's; I have a letter to write.
+  At which does you write?
+  Is not that? look one is that.
+  This letter is arrears.
+  It shall stay to the post. This pen are good for notting. During I
+    finish that letter, do me the goodness to seal this packet; it is
+    by my cousin.
+  How is the day of month?
+  The two, the three, the four, etc.
+  That is some letter to me.
+  Go to bear they letter to the post.
+
+    _The gaming._
+
+  Do you like the gaming?
+  At what pack will you that we does play?
+  To the cards.
+  Waiter, give us a card's game.
+  What is the trump?
+  The club's king.
+  Play, if you please.
+  The heart's aces.
+  We do ought.
+  This time I have a great deal pack.
+
+    _With the tailor._
+
+  Can you do me a coat?
+  What cloth will you do to?
+  From a stuff what be of season.
+  How much wants the ells for coat, waist coat, and breeches?
+  Six ells.
+  What will you to double the coat?
+  From some thing of duration. I believe to you that
+  When do you bring me my coat?
+  The rather that be possible.
+  Bring you my coat?
+  Yes, sir, there is it.
+  You have me done to expect too.
+  I did can't to come rather.
+  It don't are finished?
+  The lining war not sewd.
+  It is so that do one's now.
+  Button me.
+  It pinches me too much upon stomack.
+  The sleeves have not them great deal wideness?
+  No, sir, they are well.
+
+    _With a hair dresser._
+
+  Your razors, are them well?
+  Yes, Sir.
+  Comb-me quickly; don't put me so much pomatum. What news tell me?
+    all hairs dresser are newsmonger.
+  Sir, I have no heared any thing.
+
+    _For to breakfast._
+
+  John bring us some thing for to breakfast.
+  Yes, Sir; there is some sousages. Will you than I bring the ham?
+  Yes, bring-him, we will cup a steak put a nappe clothe upon
+    this table.
+  I you do not eat?
+  How you like the tea.
+  It is excellent.
+  Still a not her cup.
+
+    _For to ask some news._
+
+  It is true what is told of master M***?
+  Then what is told of him?
+  I have heard that he is hurt mortally.
+  I shall be sowow of it, because he is a honestman.
+  Which have wounden him?
+  Do know it why?
+  The noise run that is by to have given a box on the ear
+    to a of them.
+
+    _For to buy._
+
+  I won't have a good and fine cloth to make a coat.
+  How much do you sell it the ell?
+  We thout overcharge you from a halfpenny, it cost twenty franks.
+    Sir, I am not accustomed to cheapen: tell me the last price.
+  I have told you, sir, it is valuable in that.
+  It is too much dear, I give at it, eighteen franks.
+  You shall not have what you have wished.
+  You did beg me my last word, I told you them.
+  Well, well, cut them two ells.
+  Don't you will not more?
+  No, at present.
+
+    _For to dine._
+
+  Go to dine, the dinner is ready.
+  Cut some bread; here is it, I don't know that boiled meat is good.
+  Gentilman, will you have some beans?
+  Peter, uncork a Porto wine bottle.
+  Sir, what will you to?
+  Some pears, and apples, what wilt you?
+  Taste us rather that liquor, it is good for the stomach.
+  I am too much obliged to you, is done.
+
+    _For to speak french._
+
+  How is the french? Are you too learned now?
+  I could to tell some word's that I know by heart.
+  Not apprehend you, the french language is not difficult.
+  I know it, and she have great deal of agreeableness. Who I would
+    be. If I was know it! It must to study for to learn it. How long
+    there is it what you learn it? It is not yet a month. How is
+    called your master?
+  It is called N***
+  I know him it is long; he has teached a many of my friends. Don't
+    he tell you that it must to speak french?
+
+    _For to see the town._
+
+  Anthony, go to accompany they gentilsmen, do they see the town.
+  We won't to see all that is it remarquable here.
+  Admire this master piece gothic architecture's.
+  The chasing of all they figures is astonishing indeed.
+  The streets are very layed out by line and too paved.
+  There is it also hospitals here?
+  It not fail them. What are then the edifices the worthest to
+    have seen?
+  It is the arsnehal, the spectacle's hall, the cusiom-house and
+    the Purse.
+  We are going too see the others monuments such that the public
+    pawnbroker's office, the plants garden's the money office's,
+    the library.
+
+    _To inform oneself of a person._
+
+  How is that gentilman who you did speak by and by.
+  Is a German.
+  Tongh he is German, he speak so much well italyan, french, Spanish,
+  and english, that among the Italyans, they believe him Italyan,
+  he speak the frenche as the Frenches himselves. The Spanishesmen
+  belie ve him Spanishing, and the Englishes, Englisman.
+  It is difficult to enjoy well so much several langages.
+
+    _For to ride a horse._
+
+  Here is a horse who have a bad looks. Give me another; I will
+    not that. He not sail know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered.
+    Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? he is undshoed,
+    he is with nails up; it want to lead to the farrier.
+  Your pistols are its loads?
+  No; I forgot to buy gun-powder and balls. Let us prick. Go us more
+    fast never I was seen a so much bad beast; she will not nor to
+    bring forward neither put back.
+    Strek him the bridle, hold him the reins sharters. Pique
+    stron gly, make to marsh him.
+  I have pricked him enough. But I can't to make march him.
+  Go down, I shall make march.
+  Take care that he not give you a foot kick's.
+  Then he kicks for that I look? Sook here if I knew to tame hix.
+
+    _With a watch maker._
+
+  I bring you a watch that want to be ordered.
+  I had the misfortune to leave fall down the instant where I did
+    mounted, it must to put again a glass.
+    I want not a pendulum? I have them here some very good.
+    Don't you live me her proof againts? I shall not accept that
+      this condition.
+
+    _For to visit a sick._
+
+  How have you passed the night?
+  Very bad. I have not sleeped; I have had the fever during all
+    night. I fell some pain every where body.
+  Live me see your tongue. Have you pain to the heart?
+  Are you altered?
+  Yes, I have thursty often.
+  Your stat have nothing from lrouble some.
+  What I may to eat?
+  You can take a broth.
+  Can I to get up my self?
+  Yes, during a hour or two.
+  Let me have another thing to do?
+  Take care to hold you warme ly, and in two or three days you shall
+    be cured.
+
+    _For to travel._
+
+  Where you go so?
+  I am going to Cadiz.
+  Have you already arrested a coach?
+  Yes, sir, and very cheap.
+  There is it some danger on the highway?
+  It is not spoken that.
+  They speak not that may have some robbers on the woods?
+  It have nothing to fear, or in day neither the night.
+  Don't we does pass for a***?
+  No, sir, they leave it to left.
+  Let us take patience, still some o'clock, and we shall be in the
+    end of our voyage.
+
+    _With a inn keeper._
+
+  What you give us for to take supper.
+  Gentlemen, what you will have.
+  Give us a pigeon couple, a piece of ham and a salad.
+  What have us expended?
+  Theaccout mount in little the supper, the bed and the breakfast,
+    shall get up at thirty franks.
+
+    _From the house-keeping._
+
+  I don't know more what I won't with they servants.
+  I tell the same, it is not more some good servants. Any one take
+    care to sweep neither to make fire at what I may be up.
+  How the times are changed! Anciently I had some servants who were
+    divine my thought. The duty was done at the instant, all things
+    were cleanly hold one may look on the furnitures now as you do
+    see. It is too different, whole is covered from dust; the
+    pierglasses side-boards, the pantries, the chests of drawers, the
+    walls selves, are changed of colours. I do like-it too much.
+  Believe me, send again whole the people; I take upon my self to
+    find you some good servants for to succeed them.
+  Ah! what I shall be oblige to you of it!
+
+    _For the comedy._
+
+  Were you go to the theatre yesterday?
+  Yes, sir; I won't to see the new play in which did owed to play
+    and actress which has not appeared on any theatre.
+  How you think her?
+  She has very much grace in the deeds great deal of exactness on
+    the declamation, a constitution very agreable, and a delightful
+    voice.
+  What you say of the comedy? Have her succeded? It was a drama;
+    it was whistted to the third scene of the last act.
+  Because that?
+  It whant the vehicle, and the intrigue it was bad conducted.
+  So that they won't waited even the upshot?
+  No, it was divined.
+  In the mean time them did diliver justice to the players which
+    generaly have play very well.
+  At the exception by a one's self, who had land very much hir's
+    part.
+  It want to have not any indulgence towards the bat buffoons.
+  Have you seen already the new tragedy? They
+    praise her very much.
+  It is multitude already.
+  Never I had seen the parlour so full.
+  This actor he make very well her part.
+  That piece is full of interest.
+  It have wondered the spectadors.
+  The curtains let down.
+  Go out us.
+
+    _The hunting._
+
+  There is it some game in this wood?
+  Another time there was plenty some black beasts and thin game, but
+    the poachers have killed almost all.
+  Look a hare who run! let do him to pursue for the hounds! it go
+    one's self in the ploughed land.
+  Here that it rouse. Let aim it! let make fire him!
+  I have put down killed.
+  Me, I have failed it; my gun have miss fixe.
+  I see a hind.
+  Let leave to pass away, don't disturte it.
+  I have heard that it is plenty pardridges this year.
+  Have you killed also some thrushes.
+  Here certainly a very good hunting.
+
+    _The fishing._
+
+  That pond it seems me many multiplied of fishes. Let us amuse
+    rather to the fishing.
+  Here, there is a wand and some hooks.
+  Silence! there is a superb perch! Give me quick the rod. Ah!
+    there is, it is a lamprey. You mistake you, it is a frog! dip
+    again it in the water.
+
+    _With a furniture tradesman._
+
+  It seems no me new.
+  Pardon me, it comes workman's hands.
+  Which hightness want you its?
+  I want almost four feet six thumbs wide's, over seven of long.
+
+    _For embarking one's self._
+
+  Don't you fear the privateers!
+  I jest of them; my vessel is armed in man of war, I have a
+    vigilant and courageous equipage, and the ammunitions don't want
+    me its.
+  Never have you not done wreck?
+  That it is arrived me twice.
+
+    _With a gardener._
+
+  Shall I eat some plums soon?
+  It is not the season yet; but here is some peaches what does ripen
+    at the eye sight.
+  It delay me to eat some wal nuts-kernels; take care not leave to
+    pass the season.
+  Be tranquil, I shall throw you any nuts during the shell is green
+    yet.
+  The artichoks grow its?
+  I have a particular care of its, because I know you like the
+    bottoms.
+  It must to cup the trees.
+  It should pull the bad grasses up.
+
+    _The books and of the reading._
+
+  Do you like the reading good deal too many which seem me?
+  That is to me a amusement.
+
+      _The field._
+
+  All the fields that you see thither were been neglected; it must I
+    shall grub up and to plough its.
+  The ground seems me a little scour with sand and yet it may one
+    make it bring up; I want be fumed time by time.
+
+    _The writing._
+
+  Your pens have any notches, and its spit.
+  How do you like its? will you its are fine or broad?
+  I won't me also a wafer or some sealing wax and a seal.
+  In this drawer, there is all that, falding stick, rule, scraper,
+    saud, etc.
+  There is the postman I go to put it him again.
+
+    _With a bookseller._
+
+  What is there in new's litterature?
+  Little or almost nothing, it not appears any thing of note.
+  And yet one imprint many deal.
+  But why, you and another book seller, you does not to imprint some
+    good wooks?
+  There is a reason for that, it is that you cannot to sell its. The
+    actual-liking of the public is depraved they does not read who
+    for to amuse one's self ant but to instruct one's.
+  But the letter's men who cultivate the arts and the sciences they
+    can't to pass without the books.
+  A little learneds are happies enough for to may to satisfy their
+    fancies on the literature.
+  Have you found the Buff on who I had call for?
+  I have only been able to procure the octodecimo edition, which is
+    embellished with plates beautifully coloured.
+
+    _With a dentist._
+
+  I have the teetht-ache.
+  Is it a fluxion, or have you a bad tooth?
+  I think that is a bad tooth; please you to examine my mouth?
+  You have a bad tooth; will you pull out this tooth?
+  I can't to decide me it, that make me many great deal pain.
+  Your tooth is absolutely roted; if you leave it; shall spoil the
+    others.
+  In such case draw it.
+  I shall you neat also your mouth, and you could care entertain it
+    clean, for to preserve the mamel of the teeth; I could give you
+    a opiate for to strengthen the gums.
+  I thank you; I prefer the only means, which is to rinse the mouth
+    with some water, or a little brandy.
+
+    _With a laundress._
+
+  Who lhat be too washed, too many soaped, and the shirts put through
+    the buck. You may be sure; never I do else.
+
+    _For to swim._
+
+  I row upon the belly on the back and between two waters.
+  I am not so dexte rous that you.
+  Nothing is more easy than to swim; it do not what don't to be
+  afraid of.
+
+    _The french language._
+
+  Do you study?
+  Yes, sir, I attempts to translate of french by portuguese.
+  Do you know already the principal grammars rules?
+  I am appleed my self at to learn its by heart.
+  Do speak french alwais?
+  Some times: though I flay it yet.
+  You jest, you does express you self very well.
+
+  ***
+
+  Familiar Letters.
+
+    _Racine to M. Fitart._
+
+My uncle what will to treat her beshop in a great sumptuouness, he
+was go Avignon for to buy what one not should find there, and he had
+leave me the charge to provide all things. I have excellent business,
+as you see, and I know some thing more than to eat my soup, since I
+know do to prepare it. I did learn that it must give to the first, to
+second, and to the third service, by dishes that want to join, and
+yet some thing more; because we does pretend make a feast at four
+services without to account the dessert. Good bye, my dear sir, etc.
+
+    _Mothe to the duchess of the Maine._
+
+My lady, I have a complaint to present you. So much happy that might
+be one's self, one have not all theirs eases in this world. Your
+letters are shortest. You have plaied wonderfully all sentiments;
+less her prattle, etc.
+
+    _Montesquieu to the abbot Nicolini._
+
+Allow me, my dear abbot, who I remind me of your friendship. I
+recommend you M. of the Condamine. I shall tell you nothing, else he
+is a of my friends. Her great celebrity may tell you from others
+things, and her presence will say you the remains. My dear abbot, I
+will love you even the death.
+
+  ***
+
+  Anecdotes.
+
+Guttler, a very rich man too many avaricious, commonly he was travel
+at a horse, and single for to avoid all expenses. In the evening at
+to arrive at the inn did feign to be indispose, to the end that one
+bring him the supper. He did ordered to the stable knave to bring in
+their room some straw, for to put in their boots he made to warm her
+bed and was go lo sleep. When the servant was draw again, he come up
+ again, and with the straw of their boots, and the candle Avhat was
+leave him he made a small fire where he was roast a herring what he
+did keep of her pocket. He was always the precaution one to provide
+him self of a small of bread and one bring up a water bottle, and
+thus with a little money.
+
+  **
+
+A blind did hide five hundred crowns in a corner of their garden; but
+a neighbour, which was perceive it, did dig up and took its. The
+blind not finding more her money, was suspect that might be the
+robed, but one work for take again it? He was going find the
+ neighbour, and told him that he came to get him a council; than he
+was a thousand crowns which the half was hided into a sure part and I
+don't know if want, if to put the remains to the same part. The
+neighbour was council him so and was hasten to carry back that sum,
+in the hope soon to draw out a thousand. But the blind having finded
+the money, was seized it, having called her neighbour, he told him:
+"Gossip, the blind saw clearer than this that may have two eyes."
+
+  **
+
+A man one's was presented at a magistrate which had a considerable
+library. "What you make?" beg him the magistrate. "I do some books,"
+ he was answered. "But any of your books I did not seen its.--I
+believe it so, was answered the author; I mak nothing for Paris. From
+a of my works is imprinted, I send the edition for America; I don't
+compose what to colonies."
+
+  **
+
+One eyed was laied against a man which had good eyes that he saw
+better than him. The party was accepted. "I had gain, over said the
+one eyed; why I see you two eyes, and you not look me who one."
+
+  **
+
+A english lord was in their bed tormented, cruelly of the gout, when
+was announced him a pretended physician, which had a remedy sure
+against that illness. "That doctor came in coach or on foot?" was
+request the lord. "On foot," was answered him the servant. "Well, was
+replied the sick, go tell to the knave what go back one's self,
+because if he was the remedy, which he exalt him self, he should roll
+a coach at six horses, and I would be send for him my self and to
+offer him the half part of my lands for to be delivered of my
+sickness."
+
+  **
+
+A duchess accused of magic being interrogated for a commissary
+extremely unhandsome, this was beg him selve one she had look the
+devil. "Yes, sir, I did see him, was answer the duchess, and he was
+like you as two water's drops."
+
+  **
+
+A Lady, which was to dine, chid to her servant that she not had used
+butter enough. This girl, for to excuse him selve, was bing a little
+cat on the hand, and told that she came to take him in the crime,
+finishing to eat the two pounds from butter who remain. The Lady took
+immediately the cat, was put into the balances it had not weighted
+that one an half pound.
+
+  **
+
+A countryman which came through to Paris upon the bridge to the
+change, not had perceived merchandises in several shops. The
+curiosity take him, he come near of a exchange desk:--"Sir, had he
+beg from a look simple, tell me what you sell." The loader though
+that he may to divert of the personage:--"I sell, was answered him
+asse's heads."--"Indeed, reply to him the countryman, you make of it
+a great sale, because it not remains more but one in your shop."
+
+  **
+
+The commander Forbin of Janson, being at a repast with a celebrated
+Boileau, had undertaken to pun him upon her name:--"What name, told
+him, carry you thither? Boileau: I would wish better to call me
+Drink wine." The poet was answered him in the same tune:--"And you,
+sir, what name have you choice? Janson: I should prefer to be named
+John-Meal. The meal don't is valuable better than the furfur?"
+
+  **
+
+A physician eighty years of age had enjoicd of a health unalterable.
+Theirs friends did him of it compliments every days: "Mister doctor,
+they said to him, you are admirable man. What you make then for to
+bear you as well?--I shall tell you it, gentlemen he was answered
+them, and I exhort you in same time at to follow my exemple. I live
+of the product of my ordering without take any remedy who I command
+to my sicks."
+
+  **
+
+A countryman was confessed to the parson to have robbed a mutton at a
+farmer of her neighbourhood. "My friend, told him the confessor, it
+must to return, or you shall not have the absolution.--But repply the
+villager, I had eated him.--So much worse, told him the pastor; you
+vill be the devil sharing; because in the wide vale where me ought to
+appear we before God every one shall spoken against you, even the
+mutton. How! repply the countryman, the mutton will find in that
+part? I am very glad of that; then the restitution shall be easy,
+since I shall not have to tell to the farmer: "Neighbour take your
+mutton again."
+
+  **
+
+Plato walking one's self a day to the field with some of their
+friends. They were to see him Diogenes who was in to water untill the
+chin. The superficies of the water was snowed, for the reserve of the
+hole that Diogenes was made. "Don't look it more told them Plato, and
+he shall get out soon."
+
+  **
+
+A day came a man consult this philosopher for to know at o'clock it
+was owe to eat. If thou art rich, told him eat when you shall wish;
+if you are poor, when you may do.
+
+  **
+
+At the middle of a night very dark, a blind was walk in the streets
+with a light on the hand and a full jar upon the back. Some one which
+ran do meet him, and surprised of that light: "Simple that you are,
+told him, what serve you this light? The night and the day are not
+them the same thing by you!--It is not for me, was answering the
+blind, that I bring this light, it is to the and that the giddie
+swhich seem to you do not come to run against me, and make to break
+my jar."
+
+  ***
+
+  Idiotisms and Proverbs.
+
+  **
+
+  The necessity don't know the low.
+  Few, few the bird make her nest.
+  He is not valuable to breat that he eat.
+  Its are some blu stories.
+  Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss.
+  He sin in trouble water.
+  A bad arrangement is better than a process.
+  He has a good beak.
+  In the country of blinds, the one eyed men are kings.
+  To build castles in Espagnish.
+  Cat scalded fear the cold water.
+  To do the fine spirit.
+  With a tongue one go to Roma.
+  There is not any rnler without a exception.
+  Take out the live coals with the hand of the cat.
+  A horse baared don't look him the tooth.
+  Take the occasion for the hairs.
+  To do a wink to some body.
+  So many go the jar to spring, than at last rest there.
+  He eat untill to can't more.
+  Which like Bertram, love hir dog.
+  It want to beat the iron during it is hot.
+  He is not so devil as he is black.
+  It is better be single as a bad company.
+  The stone as roll not heap up not foam.
+  They shurt him the doar in face.
+  He has fond the knuckle of the business.
+  He turns as a weath turcocl.
+  There is not better sauce who the appetite.
+  The pains come at horse and turn one's self at foot.
+  He is beggar as a church rat.
+  So much go the jar to spring that at last it break there.
+  To force to forge, becomes smith.
+  Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot.
+  Friendship of a child is water into a basket.
+  At some thing the misforte is good.
+  Burn the politeness.
+  Tell me whom thou frequent, I will tell you which you are.
+  After the paunch comes the dance.
+  Of the hand to mouth, one lose often the soup.
+  To look for a needle in a hay bundle.
+  To craunch the marmoset.
+  To buy cat in pocket.
+  To be as a fish into the water.
+  To make paps for the cats.
+  To fatten the foot.
+  To come back at their muttons.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of English as she is spoke, by
+Jose da Fonseca and Pedro Carolino
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE ***
+
+***** This file should be named 30411.txt or 30411.zip *****
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