initial commit of ebook 5296HEADmain

1 files changed, 944 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/5296.txt b/5296.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..36ddcb5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/5296.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,944 @@
+The Project Gutenberg Ebook The Picture &c., by Jean de La Fontaine
+#22 in our series by Jean de La Fontaine (The Tales and Novels)
+
+Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the
+copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing
+this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook.
+
+This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project
+Gutenberg file.  Please do not remove it.  Do not change or edit the
+header without written permission.
+
+Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the
+eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file.  Included is
+important information about your specific rights and restrictions in
+how the file may be used.  You can also find out about how to make a
+donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved.
+
+
+**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts**
+
+**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971**
+
+*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers*****
+
+
+Title: The Tales and Novels, v22: The Picture &c.
+
+Author: Jean de La Fontaine
+
+Release Date: March, 2004  [EBook #5296]
+[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule]
+[This file was first posted on June 21, 2002]
+
+Edition: 10
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+
+
+
+
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES AND NOVELS OF FONTAINE, V22 ***
+
+
+
+This eBook was produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the
+file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an
+entire meal of them.  D.W.]
+
+
+
+
+
+                       THE TALES AND NOVELS
+                                OF
+                        J. DE LA FONTAINE
+
+
+
+          Volume 22.
+
+          Contains:
+             The Picture
+             The Pack-Saddle
+             The Ear-maker, and The Mould-Mender
+
+
+
+                         THE PICTURE
+
+
+          SOLICITED I've been to give a tale,
+          In which (though true, decorum must prevail),
+          The subject from a picture shall arise,
+          That by a curtain's kept from vulgar eyes.
+          My brain must furnish various features new:
+          What's delicate and smart produce to view;
+          By this expressed, and not by t'other said:
+          And all so clear, most easy to be read,
+          By ev'ry fool, without the aid of notes,
+          That idiot's bad indeed who never quotes.
+
+          CATULLUS tells us, ev'ry matron sage
+          Will peep most willingly (whate'er her age),
+          At that gigantick gift, which Juno made,
+          To Venus' fruit, in gardens oft displayed.
+          If any belle recede, and shun the sight,
+          Dissimulation she supposes right.
+
+          THIS principle allowed, why scruples make?
+          Why, less than eyes, should ears a license take?
+          But since 'tis so resolved I'll do my best,
+          And naught in open terms shall be expressed:
+          A veil shall over ev'ry charm be cast,
+          Of gauze indeed, and this from first to last,
+          So nicely done, that howsoever tost,
+          To none I trust will any thing be lost.
+          Who nicely thinks, and speaks with graceful ease;
+          Can current make just whatsoe'er he please;
+          For all will pass, as I have often known:
+          The word well chosen, pardon soon is shown,
+          The sex o'erlook the thing no more the same,
+          The thought remains, but 'tis without a name;
+          No blush is raised; no difficulty found;
+          Yet ev'ry body understands around.
+
+          AT present, much I need this useful art:
+          Why? you will ask; because, when I impart
+          Such wondrous circumstances, ev'ry belle,
+          Without reserve, will con them over well.
+          To this I answer: female ears are chaste,
+          Though roguish are their eyes, as well as taste.
+
+          BE that as 'twill, I certainly should like,
+          With freedom to explain, by terms oblique,
+          To belles, how this was broken:--that was down:
+          Assist me pray, ye NINE of high renown;
+          But you are maids, and strangers, we agree,
+          To LOVE'S soft scenes, not knowing A from B.
+          Remain then, Muses, never stir an inch,
+          But beg the god of verse, when at a pinch,
+          To help me out and kind assistance lend,
+          To choose expressions which will not offend,
+          Lest I some silly things should chance to say,
+          That might displeasure raise, and spoil my lay.
+          Enough, howe'er, we've on the subject said:
+          'Tis time we t'wards the painting should be led,
+          Which an adventure you will find contains,
+          That happened once in Cupid's famed domains.
+
+          IN former days, just by Cythera town
+          A monastery was, of some renown,
+          With nuns the queens of beauty filled the place,
+          And gay gallants you easily might trace.
+          The courtier, citizen, and parson too,
+          The doctor and the bachelor you'd view,
+          With eager steps:--all visits thither made;
+          And 'mong the latter, one (a pleasing blade)
+          Had free access: was thought a prudent friend,
+          Who might to sisters many comforts lend;
+          Was always closely shaved and nicely dressed;
+          And ev'ry thing he said was well expressed;
+          The breath of scandal, howsoever pat,
+          Ne'er lighted on his neat cravat nor hat.
+
+          TWO nuns alternatively, from the youth;
+          Experienced many services, in truth;
+          The one had recently a novice been;
+          Few months had passed since she complete was seen;
+          The other still the dress of novice wore;
+          The youngest's age was seventeen years, not more
+          Time doubtless very proper (to be plain)
+          Love's wily thesis fully to sustain:
+          The bachelor so well the fair had taught,
+          And they so earnestly the science sought,
+          That by experience both the art had learned,
+          And ev'ry thing most perfectly discerned.
+
+          THESE sisters eagerly had made one day
+          An assignation with the lover gay;
+          To have the entertainment quite complete,
+          They'd Bacchus, Ceres too, who Venus greet:
+          With perfect neatness all the meats were served,
+          And naught from grace and elegancy swerved;
+          The wines, the custards, jellies, creams, and ice:
+          The decorations, ev'ry thing was nice;
+          What pleasing objects and delights were viewed!
+          The room with sweetest flow'rs fair Flora strewed;
+          A sort of garden o'er the linen traced
+          Here lakes of love:--there names entwined were placed;
+          Magnificence like this the nuns admired,
+          And such amusements ardently desired.
+          Their beauty too incited to be free;
+          A thousand matters filled their souls with glee;
+          In height the belles were pretty much the same
+          Like alabaster fair; of perfect frame;
+          In num'rous corners Cupid nestling lay:
+          Beneath a stomacher he'd slyly play,
+          A veil or scapulary, this or that,
+          Where least the eye of day perceived he sat,
+          Unless a lover called to mystick bow'rs,
+          Where he might hearts entwine with chains of flow'rs;
+          A thousand times a day the urchin flew,
+          With open arms the sisters to pursue;
+          Their charms were such in ev'ry air and look,
+          Both (one by one) he for his mother took.
+
+          WITH anxious looks, the ladies thus prepared,
+          Expected him who all their kindness shared;
+          Now they bestowed abuse; next fondly praised:
+          Then of his conduct dark suspicions raised,
+          Conceived, a new amour him kept away:
+          What can it be, said one, that makes him stay?
+          Of honour an affair.--love--sickness--what?
+          Said t'other whether it be this or that,
+          If here again his face he ever show,
+          A pretty trick in turn we'll let him know.
+
+          WHILE thus the couple sought their plot to frame,
+          A convent porter with a burden came,
+          For her who kept the stores of ev'ry kind,
+          Depositary of the whole designed.
+          'Twas merely a pretence, as I am told:
+          The things were not required for young or old;
+          But she much appetite had got in truth,
+          Which made her have recourse to such a youth,
+          Who was regarded, in repasts like these,
+          A first rate cook that all prepared at ease.
+
+          THIS awkward, heavy lout mistook the cell;
+          By chance upon our ladies' room he fell,
+          And knocked with weighty hands: they ope'd the door.
+          And gave abuse, but soon their anger o'er,
+          The nuns conceived a treasure they had found,
+          And, laughing heartily, no longer frowned,
+          But both exclaimed at once: let's take this fool;
+          Of him we easily can make a tool;
+          As well as t'other, don't you think he'll do?
+          The eldest added:--let's our whim pursue;
+          'Tis well determined;--What were we to get,
+          That here we waited, and are waiting yet?
+          Fine words and phrases; nothing of the kind;
+          This wight 's as good, for what we have a mind,
+          As any bachelor or doctor wise
+          At all events, for present, he'll suffice.
+
+          SHE rightly judged; his height, form, simple air,
+          And ev'ry act, so clearly void of care,
+          Raised expectation; this was AEsop's man,
+          He never thought: 'twas all without a plan;
+          Both ate and drank, and, had he been at will,
+          Would matters far have pushed, though void of skill.
+
+          FAMILIAR grown, the fellow ready seemed,
+          To execute whate'er was proper deemed;
+          To serve the convent he was porter made,
+          And in their wishes nuns of course obeyed.
+
+          'TIS here begins the subject we've in view,
+          The scene that faithfully our painter drew;
+          Apollo, give me aid, assistance lend,
+          Enable me, I pray, to comprehend,
+          Why this mean stupid rustick sat at ease,
+          And left the sisters (Claudia, formed to please,
+          And lovely fair Theresa) all the care?
+          Had he not better done to give a chair?
+
+          I THINK I hear the god of verse reply:
+          Not quite so fast my friend, you may rely,
+          These matters never can the probe endure;
+          I understand you; Cupid, to be sure,
+          Is doubtless found a very roguish boy,
+          Who, though he please at times, will oft annoy;
+          I'm wrong a wicked whelp like this to take,
+          And, master of the ceremonies make.
+
+          NO sooner in a house the urchin gets,
+          But rules and laws he at defiance sets;
+          The place of reason whim at once assumes,
+          Breaks ev'ry obstacle, frets, rages, fumes.
+          With scenes like these will Cupid oft surprise,
+          And frantick passion sparkle in his eyes.
+
+          SOON on the floor was seen this boorish wight;
+          For, whether that the chair was rather slight,
+          Or that the composition of the clown
+          Was not, like that of geese, of softest down,
+          Or that Theresa, by her gay discourse,
+          Had penetrated to the mystick source,
+          The am'rous pulpit suddenly gave way,
+          And on the ground the rustick quickly lay.
+          The first attempt had clearly bad success,
+          And fair Theresa suffered you may guess.
+
+          YE censors keep from hence your eyes prophane;
+          See, honest hearts, how Claudia tried amain,
+          To take advantage of the dire mishap,
+          And all she could, with eagerness entrap;
+          For in the fall Theresa lost her hold;
+          The other pushed her:--further off she rolled;
+          And then, what she had quitted Claudia seized;
+          Theresa, like a demon quite displeased,
+          Endeavoured to recover what she'd lost:--
+          Again to take her seat, but she was crossed.
+          The sister in possession ne'er inclined
+          To cede a post so pleasant to her mind;
+          Theresa raised her hand to give a stroke;
+          And what of that?--if any thing provoke
+          When thus engaged, unheeded it remains
+          Small ills are soon forgot where pleasure reigns.
+
+          IN spite of rage apparent in the face;
+          Of her who in the scuffle lost her place,
+          The other followed up the road she took;
+          His course the rustick also ne'er forsook.
+          Theresa scolded; anger marked her eyes;
+          In Venus' games contentions oft arise;
+          Their violence no parallel has seen:--
+          In proof, remember Menelaus' queen.
+          Though here to take a part Bellona 's found,
+          Of cuirasses I see but few around;
+          When Venus closes with the god of Thrace,
+          Her armour then appears with ev'ry grace.
+          The FAIR will understand: enough is said;
+          When beauty's goddess is to combat led,
+          Her body-cuirass shows superior charms;
+          The Cyclops rarely forge such pleasing arms.
+          Had Vulcan graven on Achilles' shield
+          The picture we've described, more praise 'twould yield.
+
+          THE nun's adventure I in verse have told,
+          But not in colours, like the action, bold;
+          And as the story in the picture fails,
+          The latter seems to lose in my details.
+          The pen and brush express not quite the same;
+          Eyes are not ears, however we may aim.
+
+          ENTANGLED in the net, I long have left
+          The fair Theresa, of her throne bereft;
+          Howe'er, this sister had her turn we find,
+          So much to please, the porter was inclined,
+          That both were satisfied, and felt content;
+          Here ends our tale, and truly I lament,
+          That not a word about the feast is said,
+          Though I've no doubt, they freely drank and fed;
+          And this for reasons easily conceived:
+          The interlude gave rest that much relieved.
+          In fine, 'twas well throughout, except, in truth,
+          The hour of meeting settled with the youth,
+          Which much embarrasses I will avow,
+          For if he never came and made his bow,
+          The sisters had the means, when they might please,
+          Completely to console themselves at ease;
+          And if the spark appeared, the belles could hide
+          Both clown and chair, or any thing beside
+          The lover what he wanted soon possessed,
+          And was as usual treated with the best.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                       THE PACK-SADDLE
+
+
+          A FAMOUS painter, jealous of his wife;
+          Whose charms he valued more than fame or life,
+          When going on a journey used his art,
+          To paint an ASS upon a certain part,
+          (Umbilical, 'tis said) and like a seal:
+          Impressive token, nothing thence to steal.
+
+          A BROTHER brush, enamoured of the dame;
+          Now took advantage, and declared his flame:
+          The Ass effaced, but God knows how 'twas done;
+          Another soon howe'er he had begun,
+          And finished well, upon the very spot;
+          In painting, few more praises ever got;
+          But want of recollection made him place
+          A saddle, where before he none could trace.
+
+          THE husband, when returned, desired to look
+          At what he drew, when leave he lately took.
+          Yes, see my dear, the wily wife replied,
+          The Ass is witness, faithful I abide.
+          Zounds! said the painter, when he got a sight,--
+          What!--you'd persuade me ev'ry thing is right?
+          I wish the witness you display so well,
+          And him who saddled it, were both in Hell.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+              THE EAR-MAKER AND THE MOULD-MENDER
+
+
+          WHEN William went from home (a trader styled):
+          Six months his better half he left with child,
+          A simple, comely, modest, youthful dame,
+          Whose name was Alice; from Champaign she came.
+          Her neighbour Andrew visits now would pay;
+          With what intention, needless 'tis to say:
+          A master who but rarely spread his net,
+          But, first or last, with full success he met;
+          And cunning was the bird that 'scaped his snare;
+          Without surrendering a feather there.
+
+          QUITE raw was Alice; for his purpose fit;
+          Not overburdened with a store of wit;
+          Of this indeed she could not be accused,
+          And Cupid's wiles by her were never used;
+          Poor lady, all with her was honest part,
+          And naught she knew of stratagem or art.
+
+          HER husband then away, and she alone,
+          This neighbour came, and in a whining tone,
+          To her observed, when compliments were o'er:--
+          I'm all astonishment, and you deplore,
+          To find that neighbour William's gone from hence,
+          And left your child's completing in suspense,
+          Which now you bear within, and much I fear,
+          That when 'tis born you'll find it wants an ear.
+          Your looks sufficiently the fact proclaim,
+          For many instances I've known the same.
+          Good heav'ns! replied the lady in a fright;
+          What say you, pray?--the infant won't be right!
+          Shall I be mother to a one-eared child?
+          And know you no relief that's certain styled?
+          Oh yes, there is, rejoined the crafty knave,
+          From such mishap I can the baby save;
+          Yet solemnly I vow, for none but you
+          I'd undertake the toilsome job to do.
+          The ills of others, if I may be plain,
+          Except your husband's, never give me pain;
+          But him I'd serve for ever, while I've breath;
+          To do him good I'd e'en encounter death.
+          Now let us see, without more talk or fears,
+          If I know how to forge the bantling ears.
+          Remember, cried the wife, to make them like.
+          Leave that to me, said he, I'll justly strike.
+          Then he prepared for work; the dame gave way;
+          Not difficult she proved:--well pleased she lay;
+          Philosophy was never less required,
+          And Andrew's process much the fair admired,
+          Who, to his work extreme attention paid;
+          'Twas now a tendon; then a fold he made,
+          Or cartilage, of which he formed enough,
+          And all without complaining of the stuff.
+          To-morrow we will polish it, said he:
+          Then in perfection soon the whole will be;
+          And from repeating this so oft, you'll get
+          As perfect issue as was ever met.
+          I'm much obliged to you, the wife replied,
+          A friend is good in whom we may confide.
+
+          NEXT day, when tardy Time had marked the hour;
+          That Andrew hoped again to use his pow'r,
+          He was not plunged in sleep, but briskly flew,
+          His purpose with the charmer to pursue.
+          Said he, all other things aside I've laid,
+          This ear to finish, and to lend you aid.
+          And I, the dame replied, was on the eve,
+          To send and beg you not the job to leave;
+          Above stairs let us go:--away they ran,
+          And quickly recommenced as they began.
+          The work so oft was smoothed, that Alice showed
+          Some scruples lest the ear he had bestowed
+          Should do too much, and to the wily wight,
+          She said, so little you the labour slight,
+          'Twere well if ears no more than two appear;
+          Of that, rejoined the other, never fear;
+          I've guarded thoroughly against defects,
+          Mistake like that shall ne'er your senses vex.
+
+          THE ear howe'er was still in hand the same,
+          When from his journey home the husband came.
+          Saluted Alice, who with anxious look,
+          Exclaimed,--your work how finely you forsook,
+          And, but for neighbour Andrew's kindness here,
+          Our child would incomplete have been--an ear,
+          I could not let a thing remain like this,
+          And Andrew would not be to friends remiss,
+          But, worthy man, he left his thriving trade,
+          And for the babe a proper ear has made.
+
+          THE husband, not conceiving how his wife,
+          Could be so weak and ignorant of life,
+          The circumstances made her fully tell,
+          Repeat them o'er and on each action dwell.
+          Enraged at length, a pistol by the bed
+          He seized and swore at once he'd shoot her dead.
+          The belle with tears replied, howe'er she'd swerved,
+          Such cruel treatment never she deserved.
+          Her innocence, and simple, gentle way,
+          At length appeared his frantick rage to lay.
+          What injury, continued she, is done?
+          The strictest scrutiny I would not shun;
+          Your goods and money, ev'ry thing is right;
+          And Andrew told me, nothing he would slight;
+          That you would find much more than you could want;
+          And this I hope to me you'll freely grant;
+          If falsehood I advance, my life I'll lose;
+          Your equity, I trust, will me excuse.
+
+          A LITTLE cooled, then William thus replied,
+          We'll say no more; you have been drawn aside;
+          What passed you fancied acting for the best,
+          And I'll consent to put the thing at rest;
+          To nothing good such altercations tend;
+          I've but a word: to that attention lend;
+          Contrive to-morrow that I here entrap
+          This fellow who has caused your sad mishap;
+          You'll utter not a word of what I've said;
+          Be secret or at once I'll strike you dead.
+          Adroitly you must act: for instance say;
+          I'm on a second journey gone away;
+          A message or a letter to him send,
+          Soliciting that he'll on you attend,
+          That something you have got to let him know;--
+          To come, no doubt, the rascal won't be slow;
+          Amuse him then with converse most absurd,
+          But of the EAR remember,--not a word;
+          That's finished now, and nothing can require;
+          You'll carefully perform what I desire.
+          Poor innocent! the point she nicely hit;
+          Fear oft gives simpletons a sort of wit.
+
+          THE arch gallant arrived; the husband came
+          Ascended to the room where sat his dame;
+          Much noise he made, his coming to announce;
+          The lover, terrified, began to bounce;
+          Now here, now there, no shelter could he meet;
+          Between the bed and wall he put his feet,
+          And lay concealed, while William loudly knocked;
+          Fair Alice readily the door unlocked,
+          And, pointing with her hand, informed the spouse,
+          Where he might easily his rival rouse.
+
+          THE husband ev'ry way was armed so well,
+          He four such men as Andrew could repel;
+          In quest of succour howsoe'er he went:
+          To kill him surely William never meant,
+          But only take an ear, or what the Turks,
+          Those savage beasts, cut off from Nature's works;
+          Which doubtless must be infinitely worse
+          Infernal practice and continual curse.
+          'Twas this he whispered should be Andrew's doom,
+          When with his easy wife he left the room;
+          She nothing durst reply: the door he shut,
+          And our gallant 'gan presently to strut,
+          Around and round, believing all was right,
+          And William unacquainted with his plight.
+
+          THE latter having well the project weighed,
+          Now changed his plan, and other schemes surveyed;
+          Proposed within himself revenge to take,
+          With less parade:--less noise it then would make,
+          And better fruit the action would produce,
+          Than if he were apparently profuse.
+          Said he to Alice, go and seek his wife;
+          To her relate the whole that caused our strife;
+          Minutely all from first to last detail;
+          And then the better on her to prevail,
+          To hasten here, you'll hint that you have fears,
+          That Andrew risks the loss of--more than ears,
+          For I have punishment severe in view,
+          Which greatly she must wish I should not do;
+          But if an ear-maker, like this, is caught,
+          The worst of chastisement is always sought;
+          Such horrid things as scarcely can be said:
+          They make the hair to stand upon the head;
+          That he's upon the point of suff'ring straight,
+          And only for her presence things await;
+          That though she cannot all proceedings stay,
+          Perhaps she may some portion take away.
+          Go, bring her instantly, haste quickly, run;
+          And, if she comes, I'll pardon what's been done.
+
+          WITH joy to Andrew's house fair Alice went;
+          The wife to follow her appeared content;
+          Quite out of breath, alone she ran up stairs,
+          And, not perceiving him who shared her cares;
+          Believed he was imprisoned in a room;
+          And while with fear she trembled for his doom;
+          The master (having laid aside his arms)
+          Now came to compliment the lady's charms;
+          He gave the belle a chair, who looked most nice:--
+          Said he, ingratitude's the worst of vice;
+          To me your husband has been wondrous kind;
+          So many services has done I find,
+          That, ere you leave this house, I'd wish to make
+          A little return, and this you will partake.
+          When I was absent from my loving dear,
+          Obligingly he made her babe an ear.
+          The compliment of course I must admire;
+          Retaliation is what I desire,
+          And I've a thought:--your children all have got
+          The nose a little short, which is a blot;
+          A fault within the mould no doubt's the cause,
+          Which I can mend, and any other flaws.
+          The business now let's execute I pray,
+          On which the dame he took without delay,
+          And placed her near where Andrew hid his head,
+          Then 'gan to operate as he was led.
+
+          THE, lady patiently his process bore,
+          And blessed her stars that Andrew's risk was o'er
+          That she had thus the dire return received,
+          And saved the man for whom her bosom grieved.
+          So much emotion William seemed to feel,
+          No grace he gave, but all performed with zeal;
+          Retaliated ev'ry way so well,
+          He measure gave for measure:--ell for ell.
+          How true the adage, that revenge is sweet!
+          The plan he followed clearly was discrete;
+          For since he wished his honour to repair:--
+          Of any better way I'm not aware.
+
+          THE whole without a murmur Andrew viewed,
+          And thanked kind Heav'n that nothing worse ensued;
+          One ear most readily he would have lost,
+          Could he be certain that would pay the cost.
+          He thought 'twould lucky be, could he get out,
+          For all considered, better 'twere no doubt,
+          Howe'er ridiculous the thing appears,
+          To have a pair of horns than lose his ears.
+
+
+
+
+ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:
+
+Not overburdened with a store of wit
+
+
+
+
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES AND NOVELS OF FONTAINE, V22 ***
+
+*********** This file should be named 5296.txt or 5296.zip ***********
+
+This eBook was produced by David Widger
+
+Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we usually do not
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+We are now trying to release all our eBooks one year in advance
+of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing.
+Please be encouraged to tell us about any error or corrections,
+even years after the official publication date.
+
+Please note neither this listing nor its contents are final til
+midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement.
+The official release date of all Project Gutenberg eBooks is at
+Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month.  A
+preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment
+and editing by those who wish to do so.
+
+Most people start at our Web sites at:
+https://gutenberg.org or
+http://promo.net/pg
+
+These Web sites include award-winning information about Project
+Gutenberg, including how to donate, how to help produce our new
+eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter (free!).
+
+
+Those of you who want to download any eBook before announcement
+can get to them as follows, and just download by date.  This is
+also a good way to get them instantly upon announcement, as the
+indexes our cataloguers produce obviously take a while after an
+announcement goes out in the Project Gutenberg Newsletter.
+
+http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/etext03 or
+ftp://ftp.ibiblio.org/pub/docs/books/gutenberg/etext03
+
+Or /etext02, 01, 00, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90
+
+Just search by the first five letters of the filename you want,
+as it appears in our Newsletters.
+
+
+Information about Project Gutenberg (one page)
+
+We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work.  The
+time it takes us, a rather conservative estimate, is fifty hours
+to get any eBook selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright
+searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc.   Our
+projected audience is one hundred million readers.  If the value
+per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2
+million dollars per hour in 2002 as we release over 100 new text
+files per month:  1240 more eBooks in 2001 for a total of 4000+
+We are already on our way to trying for 2000 more eBooks in 2002
+If they reach just 1-2% of the world's population then the total
+will reach over half a trillion eBooks given away by year's end.
+
+The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away 1 Trillion eBooks!
+This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers,
+which is only about 4% of the present number of computer users.
+
+Here is the briefest record of our progress (* means estimated):
+
+eBooks Year Month
+
+    1  1971 July
+   10  1991 January
+  100  1994 January
+ 1000  1997 August
+ 1500  1998 October
+ 2000  1999 December
+ 2500  2000 December
+ 3000  2001 November
+ 4000  2001 October/November
+ 6000  2002 December*
+ 9000  2003 November*
+10000  2004 January*
+
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been created
+to secure a future for Project Gutenberg into the next millennium.
+
+We need your donations more than ever!
+
+As of February, 2002, contributions are being solicited from people
+and organizations in: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut,
+Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois,
+Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts,
+Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New
+Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio,
+Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South
+Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West
+Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.
+
+We have filed in all 50 states now, but these are the only ones
+that have responded.
+
+As the requirements for other states are met, additions to this list
+will be made and fund raising will begin in the additional states.
+Please feel free to ask to check the status of your state.
+
+In answer to various questions we have received on this:
+
+We are constantly working on finishing the paperwork to legally
+request donations in all 50 states.  If your state is not listed and
+you would like to know if we have added it since the list you have,
+just ask.
+
+While we cannot solicit donations from people in states where we are
+not yet registered, we know of no prohibition against accepting
+donations from donors in these states who approach us with an offer to
+donate.
+
+International donations are accepted, but we don't know ANYTHING about
+how to make them tax-deductible, or even if they CAN be made
+deductible, and don't have the staff to handle it even if there are
+ways.
+
+Donations by check or money order may be sent to:
+
+Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+PMB 113
+1739 University Ave.
+Oxford, MS 38655-4109
+
+Contact us if you want to arrange for a wire transfer or payment
+method other than by check or money order.
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been approved by
+the US Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3) organization with EIN
+[Employee Identification Number] 64-622154.  Donations are
+tax-deductible to the maximum extent permitted by law.  As fund-raising
+requirements for other states are met, additions to this list will be
+made and fund-raising will begin in the additional states.
+
+We need your donations more than ever!
+
+You can get up to date donation information online at:
+
+https://www.gutenberg.org/donation.html
+
+
+***
+
+If you can't reach Project Gutenberg,
+you can always email directly to:
+
+Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com>
+
+Prof. Hart will answer or forward your message.
+
+We would prefer to send you information by email.
+
+
+**The Legal Small Print**
+
+
+(Three Pages)
+
+***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS**START***
+Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers.
+They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with
+your copy of this eBook, even if you got it for free from
+someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our
+fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement
+disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how
+you may distribute copies of this eBook if you want to.
+
+*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS EBOOK
+By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm
+eBook, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept
+this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive
+a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this eBook by
+sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person
+you got it from. If you received this eBook on a physical
+medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request.
+
+ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM EBOOKS
+This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBooks,
+is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor Michael S. Hart
+through the Project Gutenberg Association (the "Project").
+Among other things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright
+on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and
+distribute it in the United States without permission and
+without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth
+below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this eBook
+under the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark.
+
+Please do not use the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark to market
+any commercial products without permission.
+
+To create these eBooks, the Project expends considerable
+efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain
+works. Despite these efforts, the Project's eBooks and any
+medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other
+things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other
+intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged
+disk or other eBook medium, a computer virus, or computer
+codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.
+
+LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES
+But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below,
+[1] Michael Hart and the Foundation (and any other party you may
+receive this eBook from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook) disclaims
+all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including
+legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR
+UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT,
+INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE
+OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE
+POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.
+
+If you discover a Defect in this eBook within 90 days of
+receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any)
+you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that
+time to the person you received it from. If you received it
+on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and
+such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement
+copy. If you received it electronically, such person may
+choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to
+receive it electronically.
+
+THIS EBOOK IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS
+TO THE EBOOK OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT
+LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A
+PARTICULAR PURPOSE.
+
+Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or
+the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the
+above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you
+may have other legal rights.
+
+INDEMNITY
+You will indemnify and hold Michael Hart, the Foundation,
+and its trustees and agents, and any volunteers associated
+with the production and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm
+texts harmless, from all liability, cost and expense, including
+legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the
+following that you do or cause:  [1] distribution of this eBook,
+[2] alteration, modification, or addition to the eBook,
+or [3] any Defect.
+
+DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm"
+You may distribute copies of this eBook electronically, or by
+disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this
+"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg,
+or:
+
+[1]  Only give exact copies of it.  Among other things, this
+     requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the
+     eBook or this "small print!" statement.  You may however,
+     if you wish, distribute this eBook in machine readable
+     binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form,
+     including any form resulting from conversion by word
+     processing or hypertext software, but only so long as
+     *EITHER*:
+
+     [*]  The eBook, when displayed, is clearly readable, and
+          does *not* contain characters other than those
+          intended by the author of the work, although tilde
+          (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may
+          be used to convey punctuation intended by the
+          author, and additional characters may be used to
+          indicate hypertext links; OR
+
+     [*]  The eBook may be readily converted by the reader at
+          no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent
+          form by the program that displays the eBook (as is
+          the case, for instance, with most word processors);
+          OR
+
+     [*]  You provide, or agree to also provide on request at
+          no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the
+          eBook in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC
+          or other equivalent proprietary form).
+
+[2]  Honor the eBook refund and replacement provisions of this
+     "Small Print!" statement.
+
+[3]  Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the
+     gross profits you derive calculated using the method you
+     already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  If you
+     don't derive profits, no royalty is due.  Royalties are
+     payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation"
+     the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were
+     legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent
+     periodic) tax return.  Please contact us beforehand to
+     let us know your plans and to work out the details.
+
+WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO?
+Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of
+public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed
+in machine readable form.
+
+The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time,
+public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses.
+Money should be paid to the:
+"Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or
+software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at:
+hart@pobox.com
+
+[Portions of this eBook's header and trailer may be reprinted only
+when distributed free of all fees.  Copyright (C) 2001, 2002 by
+Michael S. Hart.  Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be
+used in any sales of Project Gutenberg eBooks or other materials be
+they hardware or software or any other related product without
+express permission.]
+
+*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS*Ver.02/11/02*END*
+