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+Project Gutenberg's Clarissa, Volume 2 (of 9), by Samuel Richardson
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Clarissa, Volume 2 (of 9)
+
+Author: Samuel Richardson
+
+Release Date: January, 2006 [EBook #9798]
+Posting Date: August 1, 2009
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CLARISSA, VOLUME 2 (OF 9) ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Julie C. Sparks
+
+
+
+
+
+CLARISSA HARLOWE
+
+or the
+
+HISTORY OF A YOUNG LADY
+
+By Samuel Richardson
+
+
+Nine Volumes
+
+Volume II.
+
+
+
+
+LETTERS OF VOLUME II
+
+
+LETTER I. Clarissa to Miss Howe.--Another visit from her aunt and
+sister. The latter spitefully insults her with the patterns. A tender
+scene between her aunt and her in Arabella's absence. She endeavours to
+account for the inflexibility of her parents and uncles.
+
+LETTER II. Miss Howe to Clarissa.--Humourous description of Mr. Hickman.
+Imagines, from what Lovelace, Hickman, and Solmes, are now, what figures
+they made when boys at school.
+
+LETTER III. From the same.--Useful observations on general life. Severe
+censures of the Harlowe family, for their pride, formality, and other
+bad qualities.
+
+LETTER IV. From the same.--Mr. Hickman's conversation with two of
+Lovelace's libertine companions.
+
+LETTER V. From the same.--An unexpected visit from Mr. Lovelace. What
+passes in it. Repeats her advice to her to resume her estate.
+
+LETTER VI. VII. VIII. Clarissa to Miss Howe.--Farther particulars of the
+persecutions she receives from her violent brother.
+
+LETTER IX. From the same.--Impertinence of Betty Barnes. Overhears her
+brother and sister encourage Solmes to persevere in his address. She
+writes warmly to her brother upon it.
+
+LETTER X. From the same.--Receives a provoking letter from her sister.
+Writes to her mother. Her mother's severe reply. Is impatient. Desires
+Miss Howe's advice what course to pursue. Tries to compose her angry
+passions at her harpsichord. An Ode to Wisdom, by a Lady.
+
+LETTER XI. Clarissa to Miss Howe.--Chides her for misrepresenting Mr.
+Hickman. Fully answers her arguments about resuming her estate. Her
+impartiality with regard to what Miss Howe says of Lovelace, Solmes, and
+her brother. Reflections on revenge and duelling.
+
+LETTER XII. Miss Howe to Clarissa.--Sir Harry Downeton's account of what
+passed between himself and Solmes. She wishes her to avoid both men.
+Admires her for her manifold excellencies.
+
+LETTER XIII. Clarissa to Miss Howe.--Why she cannot overcome her
+aversion to Solmes. Sharp letter to Lovelace. On what occasion. All his
+difficulties, she tells him, owning to his faulty morals; which level
+all distinction. Insists upon his laying aside all thoughts of her. Her
+impartial and dutiful reasonings on her difficult situation.
+
+LETTER XIV. Miss Howe to Clarissa.--A notable debate between her and her
+mother on her case. Those who marry for love seldom so happy as those
+who marry for convenience. Picture of a modern marriage. A lesson both
+to parents and children in love-cases. Handsome men seldom make good
+husbands. Miss Howe reflects on the Harlowe family, as not famous for
+strictness in religion or piety. Her mother's partiality for Hickman.
+
+LETTER XV. Clarissa to Miss Howe.--Her increased apprehensions.
+Warmly defends her own mother. Extenuates her father's feelings; and
+expostulates with her on her undeserved treatment of Mr. Hickman. A
+letter to her from Solmes. Her spirited answer. All in an uproar about
+it. Her aunt Hervey's angry letter to her. She writes to her mother. Her
+letter returned unopened. To her father. He tears her letter in pieces,
+and sends it back to her. She then writes a pathetic letter to her uncle
+Harlowe.
+
+LETTER XVI. From the same.--Receives a gentler answer than she expected
+from her uncle Harlowe. Makes a new proposal in a letter to him, which
+she thinks must be accepted. Her relations assembled upon it. Her
+opinion of the sacrifice which a child ought to make to her parents.
+
+LETTER XVII. From the same.--She tells her that the proposal she had
+made to her relations, on which she had built so much, is rejected.
+Betty's saucy report upon it. Her brother's provoking letter to her.
+Her letter to her uncle Harlowe on the occasion. Substance of a letter
+excusatory from Mr. Lovelace. He presses for an interview with her in
+the garden.
+
+LETTER XVIII. Clarissa to Miss Howe.--Her uncle's angry answer.
+Substance of a humble letter from Mr. Lovelace. He has got a violent
+cold and hoarseness, by his fruitless attendance all night in the
+coppice. She is sorry he is not well. Makes a conditional appointment
+with him for the next night, in the garden. Hates tyranny in all shapes.
+
+LETTER XIX. From the same.--A characteristic dialogue with the pert
+Betty Barnes. Women have great advantage over men in all the powers that
+relate to the imagination. Makes a request to her uncle Harlowe, which
+is granted, on condition that she will admit of a visit from Solmes. She
+complies; and appoints that day sevennight. Then writes to Lovelace
+to suspend the intended interview. Desires Miss Howe to inquire into
+Lovelace's behaviour at the little inn he puts up at in his way to
+Harlowe-Place.
+
+LETTER XX. From the same.--Receives a letter from Lovelace, written
+in very high terms, on her suspending the interview. Her angry answer.
+Resolves against any farther correspondence with him.
+
+LETTER XXI. Miss Howe to Clarissa.--Humourous account of her mother and
+Mr. Hickman in their little journey to visit her dying cousin. Rallies
+her on her present displeasure with Lovelace.
+
+LETTER XXII. Mr. Hickman to Mrs. Howe.--Resenting Miss Howe's treatment
+of him.
+
+LETTER XXIII. Mrs. Howe. In answer.
+
+LETTER XXIV. Miss Howe to Clarissa.--Observes upon the contents of her
+seven last letters. Advises her to send all the letters and papers she
+would not have her relations see; also a parcel of clothes, linen, &c.
+Is in hopes of procuring an asylum for her with her mother, if things
+come to extremity.
+
+LETTER XXV. Clarissa to Miss Howe.--Requisites of true satire. Rejoices
+in the hopes she gives of her mother's protection. Deposits a parcel
+of linen, and all Lovelace's letters. Useful observations relating to
+family management, and to neatness of person and dress. Her contrivances
+to amuse Betty Barnes.
+
+LETTER XXVI. Miss Howe to Clarissa.--Result of her inquiry after
+Lovelace's behaviour at the inn. Doubts not but he has ruined the
+innkeeper's daughter. Passionately inveighs against him.
+
+LETTER XXVII. Clarissa. In answer.--Is extremely alarmed at Lovelace's
+supposed baseness. Declares her abhorrence of him.
+
+LETTER XXVIII. Miss Howe to Clarissa.--Lovelace, on inquiry, comes out
+to be not only innocent with regard to his Rosebud, but generous. Miss
+Howe rallies her on the effects this intelligence must have upon her
+generosity.
+
+LETTER XXIX. Clarissa. In reply.--Acknowledges her generosity engaged
+in his favour. Frankly expresses tenderness and regard for him; and owns
+that the intelligence of his supposed baseness had affected her more
+than she thinks it ought. Contents of a letter she has received from
+him. Pities him. Writes to him that her rejection of Solmes is not in
+favour to himself; for that she is determined to hold herself free
+to obey her parents, (as she had offered to them,) of their giving up
+Solmes. Reproaches him for his libertine declarations in all companies
+against matrimony. Her notions of filial duty, notwithstanding the
+persecutions she meets with.
+
+LETTER XXX. Miss Howe to Clarissa.--Her treatment of Mr. Hickman on his
+intrusion into her company. Applauds Clarissa for the generosity of her
+spirit, and the greatness of her mind.
+
+LETTER XXXI. Clarissa to Miss Howe.--Dr. Lewen makes her a formal visit.
+Affected civility of her brother and sister to her. Is visited by her
+uncle Harlowe: and by her sister. She penetrates the low art designed in
+this change of their outward behaviour. Substance of Lovelace's reply
+to her last. He acknowledges his folly for having ever spoken lightly of
+matrimony.
+
+LETTER XXXII. From the same.--Another letter from Mr. Lovelace, in
+which he expresses himself extremely apprehensive of the issue of
+her interview with Solmes. Presses her to escape; proposes means for
+effecting it; and threatens to rescue her by violence, if they attempt
+to carry her to her uncle Antony's against her will. Her terror on the
+occasion. She insists, in her answer, on his forbearing to take any rash
+step; and expresses herself highly dissatisfied that he should think
+himself entitled to dispute her father's authority in removing her to
+her uncle's. She relies on Mrs. Howe's protection till her cousin Morden
+arrives.
+
+LETTER XXXIII. Clarissa to Miss Howe.--A visit from her aunt Hervey,
+preparative to the approaching interview with Solmes. Her aunt tells her
+what is expected on her having consented to that interview.
+
+LETTER XXXIV. XXXV. From the same.--A particular account of what passed
+in the interview with Solmes; and of the parts occasionally taken in
+it by her boisterous uncle, by her brutal brother, by her implacable
+sister, and by her qualifying aunt. Her perseverance and distress. Her
+cousin Dolly's tenderness for her. Her closet searched for papers. All
+the pens and ink they find taken from her.
+
+LETTER XXXVI. From the same.--Substance of a letter from Lovelace. His
+proposals, promises, and declarations. All her present wish is, to be
+able to escape Solmes, on one hand, and to avoid incurring the disgrace
+of refuging with the family of a man at enmity with her own, on the
+other. Her emotions behind the yew-hedge on seeing her father going into
+the garden. Grieved at what she hears him say. Dutiful message to
+her mother. Harshly answered. She censures Mr. Lovelace for his rash
+threatenings to rescue her. Justifies her friends for resenting them;
+and condemns herself for corresponding with him at first.
+
+LETTER XXXVII. Miss Howe to Clarissa.--Is vexed at the heart to be
+obliged to tell her that her mother refuses to receive and protect her.
+Offers to go away privately with her.
+
+LETTER XXXVIII. Clarissa to Miss Howe.--Her disinterested arguments in
+Mrs. Howe's favour, on her refusal to receive her. All her consolation
+is, that her unhappy situation is not owing to her own inadvertence of
+folly. Is afraid she is singled out, either for her own faults, or for
+those of her family, or perhaps for the faults of both, to be a very
+unhappy creature. Justifies the ways of Providence, let what will befal
+her: and argues with exemplary greatness of mind on this subject. Warmly
+discourages Miss Howe's motion to accompany her in her flight.
+
+LETTER XXXIX. Clarissa to Miss Howe.--Further instances of her
+impartiality in condemning Lovelace, and reasoning for her parents.
+Overhears her brother and sister exulting in the success of their
+schemes; and undertaking, the one to keep his father up to his
+resentment on occasion of Lovelace's menaces, the other her mother.
+Exasperated at this, and at what her aunt Hervey tells her, she writes
+to Lovelace, that she will meet him the following Monday, and throw
+herself into the protection of the ladies of his family.
+
+LETTER XL. From the same.--Her frightful dream. Now that Lovelace has
+got her letter, she repents her appointment.
+
+LETTER XLI. From the same.--Receives a letter from Mr. Lovelace, full
+of transport, vows, and promises. He presumes upon her being his on her
+getting away, though she has not given him room for such hopes. In her
+answer she tells him, 'that she looks not upon herself as absolutely
+bound by her appointment: that there are many points to be adjusted
+between them (were she to leave her father's house) before she can give
+him particular encouragement: that he must expect she will do her utmost
+to procure a reconciliation with her father, and his approbation of
+her future steps.' All her friends are to be assembled on the following
+Wednesday: she is to be brought before them. How to be proceeded with.
+Lovelace, in his reply, asks pardon for writing to her with so much
+assurance; and declares his entire acquiescence with her will and
+pleasure.
+
+LETTER XLII. From the same.--Confirms her appointment; but tells him
+what he is not to expect. Promises, that if she should change her mind
+as to withdrawing, she will take the first opportunity to see him, and
+acquaint him with her reasons. Reflections on what she has done. Her
+deep regret to be thus driven.
+
+LETTER XLIII. Miss Howe to Clarissa.--Reasons why she ought to allow her
+to accompany her in her flight. Punctilio at an end, the moment she is
+out of her father's house. Requisites of friendship. Questions whether
+she will not rather choose to go off with one of her own sex than
+with Lovelace? And if not, whether she should not marry him as soon as
+possible?
+
+LETTER XLIV. Clarissa to Miss Howe, (Miss Howe's last not received.)
+Lovelace promises compliance, in every article, with her pleasure.
+Her heart misgives her notwithstanding. She knows not but she may yet
+recede.
+
+LETTER XLV. From the same. In answer to Letter XLIII.--Reflections
+worthy of herself on some of the passages in Miss Howe's last letter.
+Gives her home-put questions a full consideration; and determines NOT to
+withdraw with Lovelace.
+
+LETTER XLVI. XLVII. From the same.--Substance of her letter to Lovelace,
+revoking her appointment. Thinks herself obliged (her letter being not
+taken away) as well by promise as in order to prevent mischief, to meet
+him, and to give him her reason for revoking.--The hour of meeting now
+at hand, she is apprehensive of the contest she shall have with him, as
+he will come with a different expectation.
+
+LETTER XLVIII. From the same.--Dated from St. Alban's. Writes in the
+utmost anguish of mind for the little parcel of linen she had sent to
+her with better hopes. Condemns her own rashness in meeting Lovelace.
+Begs her pity and her prayers.
+
+
+
+
+THE HISTORY OF CLARISSA HARLOWE
+
+
+
+
+LETTER I
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE
+
+
+My heart fluttered with the hope and the fear of seeing my mother, and
+with the shame and grief of having given her so much uneasiness. But it
+needed not: she was not permitted to come. But my aunt was so good as to
+return, yet not without my sister; and, taking my hand, made me sit down
+by her.
+
+She came, she must own, officiously, she said, this once more,
+though against the opinion of my father: but knowing and dreading the
+consequence of my opposition, she could not but come.
+
+She then set forth to my friends' expectation from me; Mr. Solmes's
+riches (three times as rich he came out to be, as any body had thought
+him); the settlements proposed; Mr. Lovelace's bad character; their
+aversions to him; all in a very strong light; not in a stronger than
+my mother had before placed them in. My mother, surely, could not have
+given the particulars of what had passed between herself and me: if she
+had, my aunt would not have repeated many of the same sentiments, as
+you will find she did, that had been still more strongly urged, without
+effect by her venerable sister.
+
+She said it would break the heart of my father to have it imagined that
+he had not a power over his own child; and that, as he thought, for
+my own good: a child too, whom they had always doated upon!--Dearest,
+dearest Miss, concluded she, clasping her fingers, with the most
+condescending earnestness, let me beg of you, for my sake, for your own
+sake, for a hundred sakes, to get over this averseness, to give up your
+prejudices, and make every one happy and easy once more.--I would kneel
+to you, my dearest Niece--nay, I will kneel to you--!
+
+And down she dropt, and I with her, kneeling to her, and beseeching her
+not to kneel; clasping my arms about her, and bathing her worthy bosom
+with my tears.
+
+O rise! rise! my beloved Aunt, said I: you cut me to the heart with this
+condescending goodness.
+
+Say then, my dearest Niece, say then, that you will oblige all your
+friends!--If you love us, I beseech you do--
+
+How can I perform what I can sooner choose to die than to perform--!
+
+Say then, my dear, that you will consider of it. Say you will but
+reason with yourself. Give us but hopes. Don't let me entreat, and thus
+entreat, in vain--[for still she kneeled, and I by her].
+
+What a hard case is mine!--Could I but doubt, I know I could
+conquer.--That which is an inducement to my friends, is none at all to
+me--How often, my dearest Aunt, must I repeat the same thing?--Let me
+but be single--Cannot I live single? Let me be sent, as I have proposed,
+to Scotland, to Florence, any where: let me be sent a slave to the
+Indies, any where--any of these I will consent to. But I cannot, cannot
+think of giving my vows to man I cannot endure!
+
+Well then, rising, (Bella silently, with uplifted hands, reproaching my
+supposed perverseness,) I see nothing can prevail with you to oblige us.
+
+What can I do, my dearest Aunt Hervey? What can I do? Were I capable of
+giving a hope I meant not to enlarge, then could I say, I would consider
+of your kind advice. But I would rather be thought perverse than
+insincere. Is there, however, no medium? Can nothing be thought of? Will
+nothing do, but to have a man who is the more disgustful to me, because
+he is unjust in the very articles he offers?
+
+Whom now, Clary, said my sister, do you reflect upon? Consider that.
+
+Make not invidious applications of what I say, Bella. It may not be
+looked upon in the same light by every one. The giver and the accepter
+are principally answerable in an unjust donation. While I think of it in
+this light, I should be inexcusable to be the latter. But why do I enter
+upon a supposition of this nature?--My heart, as I have often, often
+said, recoils, at the thought of the man, in every light.--Whose father,
+but mine, agrees upon articles where there is no prospect of a liking?
+Where the direct contrary is avowed, all along avowed, without the
+least variation, or shadow of a change of sentiment?--But it is not my
+father's doing originally. O my cruel, cruel brother, to cause a measure
+to be forced upon me, which he would not behave tolerably under, were
+the like to be offered to him!
+
+The girl is got into her altitudes, Aunt Hervey, said my sister. You
+see, Madam, she spares nobody. Be pleased to let her know what she has
+to trust to. Nothing is to be done with her. Pray, Madam, pronounce her
+doom.
+
+My aunt retired to the window, weeping, with my sister in her hand:
+I cannot, indeed I cannot, Miss Harlowe, said she, softly, (but yet I
+heard every word she said): there is great hardship in her case. She
+is a noble child after all. What pity things are gone so far!--But Mr.
+Solmes ought to be told to desist.
+
+O Madam, said my sister, in a kind of loud whisper, are you caught too
+by the little siren?--My mother did well not to come up!--I question
+whether my father himself, after his first indignation, would not be
+turned round by her. Nobody but my brother can do any thing with her, I
+am sure.
+
+Don't think of your brother's coming up, said my aunt, still in a low
+voice--He is too furious. I see no obstinacy, no perverseness, in
+her manner! If your brother comes, I will not be answerable for the
+consequences: for I thought twice or thrice she would have gone into
+fits.
+
+O Madam, she has a strong heart!--And you see there is no prevailing
+with her, though you were upon your knees to her.
+
+My sister left my aunt musing at the window, with her back towards us,
+and took that opportunity to insult me still more barbarously; for,
+stepping to my closet, she took up the patterns which my mother had sent
+me up, and bringing them to me, she spread them upon the chair by me;
+and offering one, and then another, upon her sleeve and shoulder, thus
+she ran on, with great seeming tranquility, but whisperingly, that my
+aunt might not hear her. This, Clary, is a pretty pattern enough: but
+this is quite charming! I would advise you to make your appearance in
+it. And this, were I you, should be my wedding night-gown--And this
+my second dressed suit! Won't you give orders, love, to have your
+grandmother's jewels new set?--Or will you thing to shew away in the new
+ones Mr. Solmes intends to present to you? He talks of laying out two
+or three thousand pounds in presents, child! Dear heart!--How gorgeously
+will you be array'd! What! silent still?--But, Clary, won't you have a
+velvet suit? It would cut a great figure in a country church, you know:
+and the weather may bear it for a month yet to come. Crimson velvet,
+suppose! Such a fine complexion as yours, how it would be set off by it!
+What an agreeable blush would it give you!--Heigh-ho! (mocking me, for I
+sighed to be thus fooled with,) and do you sigh, love?--Well then, as it
+will be a solemn wedding, what think you of black velvet, child?--Silent
+still, Clary?--Black velvet, so fair as you are, with those charming
+eyes, gleaming through a wintry cloud, like an April sun!--Does not
+Lovelace tell you they are charming eyes?--How lovely will you appear to
+every one!--What! silent still, love?--But about your laces, Clary?--
+
+She would have gone on still further, had not my aunt advance towards
+me, wiping her eyes--What! whispering ladies! You seem so easy and so
+pleased, Miss Harlowe, with your private conference, that I hope I shall
+carry down good news.
+
+I am only giving her my opinion of her patterns, here.--Unasked indeed;
+but she seems, by her silence, to approve of my judgment.
+
+O Bella! said I, that Mr. Lovelace had not taken you at your word!--You
+had before now been exercising your judgment on your own account: and I
+had been happy as well as you! Was it my fault, I pray you, that it was
+not so?--
+
+O how she raved!
+
+To be so ready to give, Bella, and so loth to take, is not very fair in
+you.
+
+The poor Bella descended to call names.
+
+Why, Sister, said I, you are as angry, as if there were more in the
+hint than possibly might be designed. My wish is sincere, for both our
+sakes!--for the whole family's sake!--And what (good now) is there in
+it?--Do not, do not, dear Bella, give me cause to suspect, that I have
+found a reason for your behaviour to me, and which till now was wholly
+unaccountable from sister to sister--
+
+Fie, fie, Clary! said my aunt.
+
+My sister was more and more outrageous.
+
+O how much fitter, said I, to be a jest, than a jester!--But now, Bella,
+turn the glass to you, and see how poorly sits the robe upon your own
+shoulders, which you have been so unmercifully fixing upon mine!
+
+Fie, fie, Miss Clary! repeated my aunt.
+
+And fie, fie, likewise, good Madam, to Miss Harlowe, you would say, were
+you to have heard her barbarous insults!
+
+Let us go, Madam, said my sister, with great violence; let us leave the
+creature to swell till she bursts with her own poison.--The last time I
+will ever come near her, in the mind I am in!
+
+It is so easy a thing, returned I, were I to be mean enough to follow
+an example that is so censurable in the setter of it, to vanquish such
+a teasing spirit as your's with its own blunt weapons, that I am amazed
+you will provoke me!--Yet, Bella, since you will go, (for she had
+hurried to the door,) forgive me. I forgive you. And you have a double
+reason to do so, both from eldership and from the offence so studiously
+given to one in affliction. But may you be happy, though I never shall!
+May you never have half the trials I have had! Be this your comfort,
+that you cannot have a sister to treat you as you have treated me!--And
+so God bless you!
+
+O thou art a--And down she flung without saying what.
+
+Permit me, Madam, said I to my aunt, sinking down, and clasping her
+knees with my arms, to detain you one moment--not to say any thing about
+my poor sister--she is her own punisher--only to thank you for all
+your condescending goodness to me. I only beg of you not to impute to
+obstinacy the immovableness I have shown to so tender a friend; and to
+forgive me every thing I have said or done amiss in your presence, for
+it has not proceeded from inward rancour to the poor Bella. But I will
+be bold to say, that neither she, nor my brother, nor even my father
+himself, knows what a heart they have set a bleeding.
+
+I saw, to my comfort, what effect my sister's absence wrought for
+me.--Rise, my noble-minded Niece!--Charming creature! [those were her
+kind words] kneel not to me!--Keep to yourself what I now say to you.--I
+admire you more than I can express--and if you can forbear claiming your
+estate, and can resolve to avoid Lovelace, you will continue to be the
+greatest miracle I ever knew at your years--but I must hasten down after
+your sister.--These are my last words to you: 'Conform to your father's
+will, if you possibly can. How meritorious will it be in you if you do
+so! Pray to God to enable you to conform. You don't know what may be
+done.'
+
+Only, my dear Aunt, one word, one word more (for she was going)--Speak
+all you can for my dear Mrs. Norton. She is but low in the world: should
+ill health overtake her, she may not know how to live without my mamma's
+favour. I shall have no means to help her; for I will want necessaries
+before I will assert my right: and I do assure you, she has said so many
+things to me in behalf of my submitting to my father's will, that her
+arguments have not a little contributed to make me resolve to avoid the
+extremities, which nevertheless I pray to God they do not at last force
+me upon. And yet they deprive me of her advice, and think unjustly of
+one of the most excellent of women.
+
+I am glad to hear you say this: and take this, and this, and this, my
+charming Niece! (for so she called me almost at every word, kissing me
+earnestly, and clasping her arms about my neck:) and God protect you,
+and direct you! But you must submit: indeed you must. Some one day in a
+month from this is all the choice that is left you.
+
+And this, I suppose, was the doom my sister called for; and yet no worse
+than what had been pronounced upon me before.
+
+She repeated these last sentences louder than the former. 'And remember,
+Miss,' added she, 'it is your duty to comply.'--And down she went,
+leaving me with my heart full, and my eyes running over.
+
+The very repetition of this fills me with almost equal concern to that
+which I felt at the time.
+
+I must lay down my pen. Mistiness, which give to the deluged eye the
+appearance of all the colours in the rainbow, will not permit me to
+write on.
+
+
+WEDNESDAY, FIVE O'CLOCK
+
+
+I will now add a few lines--My aunt, as she went down from me, was met
+at the foot of the stairs by my sister, who seemed to think she had
+staid a good while after her; and hearing her last words prescribing
+to me implicit duty, praised her for it, and exclaimed against my
+obstinacy. Did you ever hear of such perverseness, Madam? said she:
+Could you have thought that your Clarissa and every body's Clarissa, was
+such a girl?--And who, as you said, is to submit, her father or she?
+
+My aunt said something in answer to her, compassionating me, as I
+thought, by her accent: but I heard not the words.
+
+Such a strange perseverance in a measure so unreasonable!--But my
+brother and sister are continually misrepresenting all I say and do; and
+I am deprived of the opportunity of defending myself!--My sister says,*
+that had they thought me such a championess, they you not have engaged
+with me: and now, not knowing how to reconcile my supposed obstinacy
+with my general character and natural temper, they seem to hope to tire
+me out, and resolve to vary their measures accordingly. My brother, you
+see,** is determined to carry this point, or to abandon Harlowe-place,
+and never to see it more. So they are to lose a son, or to conquer
+a daughter--the perversest and most ungrateful that ever parents
+had!--This is the light he places things in: and has undertaken, it
+seems, to subdue me, if his advice should be followed. It will be
+farther tried; of that I am convinced; and what will be their next
+measure, who can divine?
+
+
+     * See Letter XLII. of Vol. I.
+
+     ** Ibid.
+
+
+I shall dispatch, with this, my answer to your's of Sunday last, begun
+on Monday;* but which is not yet quite finished. It is too long to copy:
+I have not time for it. In it I have been very free with you, my dear,
+in more places than one. I cannot say that I am pleased with all I have
+written--yet will not now alter it. My mind is not at ease enough for
+the subject. Don't be angry with me. Yet, if you can excuse one or two
+passages, it will be because they were written by
+
+Your CLARISSA HARLOWE.
+
+
+     * See Letter XL, ibid.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER II
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE WEDNESDAY NIGHT, MARCH 22.
+
+
+ANGRY!--What should I be angry for? I am mightily pleased with your
+freedom, as you call it. I only wonder at your patience with me; that's
+all. I am sorry I gave you the trouble of so long a letter upon the
+occasion,* notwithstanding the pleasure I received in reading it.
+
+
+     * See Vol. I, Letter XXXVII, for the occasion; and Letters
+     XXXVIII. and XL. of the same volume, for the freedom
+     Clarissa apologizes for.
+
+
+I believe you did not intend reserves to me: for two reasons I believe
+you did not: First, because you say you did not: Next, because you have
+not as yet been able to convince yourself how it is to be with you; and
+persecuted as you are, how so to separate the effects that spring from
+the two causes [persecution and love] as to give to each its particular
+due. But this I believe I hinted to you once before; and so will say no
+more upon this subject at present.
+
+Robin says, you had but just deposited your last parcel when he took it:
+for he was there but half an hour before, and found nothing. He had seen
+my impatience, and loitered about, being willing to bring me something
+from you, if possible.
+
+My cousin Jenny Fynnett is here, and desires to be my bedfellow
+to-night. So I shall not have an opportunity to sit down with that
+seriousness and attention which the subjects of yours require. For she
+is all prate, you know, and loves to set me a prating; yet comes upon
+a very grave occasion--to procure my mother to go with her to her
+grandmother Larking, who has long been bed-ridden; and at last has taken
+it into her head that she is mortal, and therefore will make her will; a
+work she was till now extremely averse to; but it must be upon condition
+that my mother, who is her distant relation, will go to her, and advise
+her as to the particulars of it: for she has a high opinion, as every
+one else has, of my mother's judgment in all matters relating to wills,
+settlements, and such-like notable affairs.
+
+Mrs. Larking lives about seventeen miles off; and as my mother cannot
+endure to lie out of her own house, she proposes to set out early in
+the morning, that she might be able to get back again at night. So,
+to-morrow I shall be at your devotion from day-light to day-light; nor
+will I be at home to any body.
+
+I have hinted before, that I could almost wish my mother and Mr. Hickman
+would make a match of it: and I here repeat my wishes. What signifies
+a difference of fifteen or twenty years; especially when the lady has
+spirits that will make her young a long time, and the lover is a mighty
+sober man?--I think, verily, I could like him better for a papa, than
+for a nearer relation: and they are strange admirers of one another.
+
+But allow me a perhaps still better (and, as to years, more suitable and
+happier) disposal; for the man at least.--What think you, my dear, of
+compromising with your friends, by rejecting both men, and encouraging
+my parader?--If your liking one of the two go no farther than
+conditional, I believe it will do. A rich thought, if it obtain your
+approbation! In this light, I should have a prodigious respect for
+Mr. Hickman; more by half than I can have in the other. The vein is
+opened--Shall I let it flow? How difficult to withstand constitutional
+foibles!
+
+Hickman is certainly a man more in your taste than any of those who have
+hitherto been brought to address you. He is mighty sober, mighty grave,
+and all that. Then you have told me, that he is your favourite. But that
+is because he is my mother's perhaps. The man would certainly rejoice at
+the transfer; or he must be a greater fool than I take him to be.
+
+O but your fierce lover would knock him o' the head--I forgot
+that!--What makes me incapable of seriousness when I write about
+Hickman?--Yet the man so good a sort of man in the main!--But who is
+perfect? This is one of my foibles: and it is something for you to chide
+me for.
+
+You believe me to be very happy in my prospect in relation to him:
+because you are so very unhappy in the foolish usage you meet with, you
+are apt (as I suspect) to think that tolerable which otherwise would be
+far from being so. I dare say, you would not, with all your grave airs,
+like him for yourself; except, being addressed by Solmes and him, you
+were obliged to have one of them.--I have given you a test. Let me see
+what you will say to it.
+
+For my own part, I confess to you, that I have great exceptions to
+Hickman. He and wedlock never yet once entered into my head at one time.
+Shall I give you my free thoughts of him?--Of his best and his worst;
+and that as if I were writing to one who knows him not?--I think I will.
+Yet it is impossible I should do it gravely. The subject won't bear to
+be so treated in my opinion. We are not come so far as that yet, if ever
+we shall: and to do it in another strain, ill becomes my present real
+concern for you.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+Here I was interrupted on the honest man's account. He has been here
+these two hours--courting the mother for the daughter, I suppose--yet
+she wants no courting neither: 'Tis well one of us does; else the man
+would have nothing but halcyon; and be remiss, and saucy of course.
+
+He was going. His horses at the door. My mother sent for me down,
+pretending to want to say something to me.
+
+Something she said when I came that signified nothing--Evidently, for no
+reason called me, but to give me an opportunity to see what a fine bow
+her man could make; and that she might wish me a good night. She knows
+I am not over ready to oblige him with my company, if I happen to be
+otherwise engaged. I could not help an air a little upon the fretful,
+when I found she had nothing of moment to say to me, and when I saw her
+intention.
+
+She smiled off the visible fretfulness, that the man might go away in
+good humour with himself.
+
+He bowed to the ground, and would have taken my hand, his whip in the
+other. I did not like to be so companioned: I withdrew my hand, but
+touched his elbow with a motion, as if from his low bow I had supposed
+him falling, and would have helped him up--A sad slip, it might have
+been! said I.
+
+A mad girl! smiled it off my mother.
+
+He was quite put out; took his horse-bridle, stumped back, back, back,
+bowing, till he run against his servant. I laughed. He mounted his
+horse. I mounted up stairs, after a little lecture; and my head is so
+filled with him, that I must resume my intention, in hopes to divert you
+for a few moments.
+
+Take it then--his best, and his worst, as I said before.
+
+Hickman is a sort of fiddling, busy, yet, to borrow a word from you,
+unbusy man: has a great deal to do, and seems to me to dispatch nothing.
+Irresolute and changeable in every thing, but in teasing me with his
+nonsense; which yet, it is evident, he must continue upon my mother's
+interest more than upon his own hopes; for none have I given him.
+
+Then I have a quarrel against his face, though in his person, for
+a well-thriven man, tolerably genteel--Not to his features so much
+neither; for what, as you have often observed, are features in a
+man?--But Hickman, with strong lines, and big cheek and chin bones,
+has not the manliness in his aspect, which Lovelace has with the most
+regular and agreeable features.
+
+Then what a set and formal mortal he is in some things!--I have not been
+able yet to laugh him out of his long bid and beads. Indeed, that is,
+because my mother thinks they become him; and I would not be so free
+with him, as to own I should choose to have him leave it off. If he did,
+so particular is the man, he would certainly, if left to himself, fall
+into a King-William's cravat, or some such antique chin-cushion, as by
+the pictures of that prince one sees was then the fashion.
+
+As to his dress in general, he cannot indeed be called a sloven, but
+sometimes he is too gaudy, at other times too plain, to be uniformly
+elegant. And for his manners, he makes such a bustle with them, and
+about them, as would induce one to suspect that they are more strangers
+than familiars to him. You, I know, lay this to his fearfulness of
+disobliging or offending. Indeed your over-doers generally give the
+offence they endeavour to avoid.
+
+The man however is honest: is of family: has a clear and good estate;
+and may one day be a baronet, an't please you. He is humane and
+benevolent, tolerably generous, as people say; and as I might say too,
+if I would accept of his bribes; which he offers in hopes of having them
+all back again, and the bribed into the bargain. A method taken by all
+corrupters, from old Satan, to the lowest of his servants. Yet, to speak
+in the language of a person I am bound to honour, he is deemed a prudent
+man; that is to say a good manager.
+
+Then I cannot but confess, that now I like not anybody better, whatever
+I did once.
+
+He is no fox-hunter: he keeps a pack indeed; but prefers not his hounds
+to his fellow-creatures. No bad sign for a wife, I own. He loves his
+horse; but dislikes racing in a gaming way, as well as all sorts of
+gaming. Then he is sober; modest; they say, virtuous; in short,
+has qualities that mothers would be fond of in a husband for their
+daughters; and for which perhaps their daughters would be the happier
+could they judge as well for themselves, as experience possibly may
+teach them to judge for their future daughters.
+
+Nevertheless, to own the truth, I cannot say I love the man: nor, I
+believe, ever shall.
+
+Strange! that these sober fellows cannot have a decent sprightliness,
+a modest assurance with them! Something debonnaire; which need not be
+separated from that awe and reverence, when they address a woman, which
+should shew the ardour of their passion, rather than the sheepishness
+of their nature; for who knows not that love delights in taming the
+lion-hearted? That those of the sex, who are most conscious of their
+own defect in point of courage, naturally require, and therefore as
+naturally prefer, the man who has most of it, as the most able to give
+them the requisite protection? That the greater their own cowardice, as
+it would be called in a man, the greater is their delight in subjects
+of heroism? As may be observed in their reading; which turns upon
+difficulties encountered, battles fought, and enemies overcome, four or
+five hundred by the prowess of one single hero, the more improbable the
+better: in short, that their man should be a hero to every one living
+but themselves; and to them know no bound to his humility. A woman has
+some glory in subduing a heart no man living can appall; and hence too
+often the bravo, assuming the hero, and making himself pass for one,
+succeeds as only a hero should.
+
+But as for honest Hickman, the good man is so generally meek, as I
+imagine, that I know not whether I have any preference paid me in his
+obsequiousness. And then, when I rate him, he seems to be so naturally
+fitted for rebuke, and so much expects it, that I know not how to
+disappoint him, whether he just then deserve it, or not. I am sure, he
+has puzzled me many a time when I have seen him look penitent for faults
+he has not committed, whether to pity or laugh at him.
+
+You and I have often retrospected the faces and minds of grown people;
+that is to say, have formed images for their present appearances,
+outside and in, (as far as the manners of the persons would justify us
+in the latter) what sort of figures they made when boys and girls. And
+I'll tell you the lights in which HICKMAN, SOLMES, and LOVELACE, our
+three heroes, have appeared to me, supposing them boys at school.
+
+Solmes I have imagined to be a little sordid, pilfering rogue, who would
+purloin from every body, and beg every body's bread and butter from him;
+while, as I have heard a reptile brag, he would in a winter-morning spit
+upon his thumbs, and spread his own with it, that he might keep it all
+to himself.
+
+Hickman, a great overgrown, lank-haired, chubby boy, who would be
+hunched and punched by every body; and go home with his finger in his
+eye, and tell his mother.
+
+While Lovelace I have supposed a curl-pated villain, full of fire,
+fancy, and mischief; an orchard-robber, a wall-climber, a horse-rider
+without saddle or bridle, neck or nothing: a sturdy rogue, in short,
+who would kick and cuff, and do no right, and take no wrong of any
+body; would get his head broke, then a plaster for it, or let it heal
+of itself; while he went on to do more mischief, and if not to get,
+to deserve, broken bones. And the same dispositions have grown up with
+them, and distinguish them as me, with no very material alteration.
+
+Only that all men are monkeys more or less, or else that you and I
+should have such baboons as these to choose out of, is a mortifying
+thing, my dear.
+
+I am sensible that I am a little out of season in treating thus
+ludicrously the subject I am upon, while you are so unhappy; and if
+my manner does not divert you, as my flightiness used to do, I am
+inexcusable both to you, and to my own heart: which, I do assure you,
+notwithstanding my seeming levity, is wholly in your case.
+
+As this letter is extremely whimsical, I will not send it until I can
+accompany it with something more solid and better suited to your
+unhappy circumstances; that is to say, to the present subject of our
+correspondence. To-morrow, as I told you, will be wholly my own, and of
+consequence yours. Adieu, therefore, till then.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER III
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE TUESDAY MORN. 7 O'CLOCK
+
+
+My mother and cousin are already gone off in our chariot and four,
+attended by their doughty 'squire on horseback, and he by two of his
+own servants, and one of my mother's. They both love parade when they
+go abroad, at least in compliment to one another; which shews, that
+each thinks the other does. Robin is your servant and mine, and nobody's
+else--and the day is all my own.
+
+I must begin with blaming you, my dear, for your resolution not to
+litigate for your right, if occasion were to be given you. Justice is
+due to ourselves, as well as to every body else. Still more must I blame
+you for declaring to your aunt and sister, that you will not: since (as
+they will tell it to your father and brother) the declaration must needs
+give advantage to spirits who have so little of that generosity for
+which you are so much distinguished.
+
+There never was a spirit in the world that would insult where it dared,
+but it would creep and cringe where it dared not. Let me remind you of
+a sentence of your own, the occasion for which I have forgotten: 'That
+little spirits will always accommodate themselves to the temper of those
+they would work upon: will fawn upon a sturdy-tempered person: will
+insult the meek:'--And another given to Miss Biddulph, upon an occasion
+you cannot forget:--'If we assume a dignity in what we say and do, and
+take care not to disgrace by arrogance our own assumption, every body
+will treat us with respect and deference.'
+
+I remember that you once made an observation, which you said, you was
+obliged to Mrs. Norton for, and she to her father, upon an excellent
+preacher, who was but an indifferent liver: 'That to excel in theory,
+and to excel in practice, generally required different talents; which
+did not always meet in the same person.' Do you, my dear (to whom theory
+and practice are the same thing in almost every laudable quality), apply
+the observation to yourself, in this particular case, where resolution
+is required; and where the performance of the will of the defunct is the
+question--no more to be dispensed with by you, in whose favour it was
+made, than by any body else who have only themselves in view by breaking
+through it.
+
+I know how much you despise riches in the main: but yet it behoves
+you to remember, that in one instance you yourself have judged them
+valuable--'In that they put it into our power to lay obligations; while
+the want of that power puts a person under a necessity of receiving
+favours--receiving them perhaps from grudging and narrow spirits, who
+know not how to confer them with that grace, which gives the principal
+merit to a beneficent action.'--Reflect upon this, my dear, and see how
+it agrees with the declaration you have made to your aunt and sister,
+that you would not resume your estate, were you to be turned out of
+doors, and reduced to indigence and want. Their very fears that you will
+resume, point out to you the necessity of resuming upon the treatment
+you meet with.
+
+I own, that (at first reading) I was much affected with your mother's
+letter sent with the patterns. A strange measure however from a mother;
+for she did not intend to insult you; and I cannot but lament that so
+sensible and so fine a woman should stoop to so much art as that letter
+is written with: and which also appears in some of the conversations
+you have given me an account of. See you not in her passiveness, what
+boisterous spirits can obtain from gentler, merely by teasing and
+ill-nature?
+
+I know the pride they have always taken in calling you a
+Harlowe--Clarissa Harlowe, so formal and so set, at every word,
+when they are grave or proudly solemn.--Your mother has learnt it of
+them--and as in marriage, so in will, has been taught to bury her own
+superior name and family in theirs. I have often thought that the same
+spirit governed them, in this piece of affectation, and others of
+the like nature (as Harlowe-Place, and so-forth, though not the elder
+brother's or paternal seat), as governed the tyrant Tudor,* who marrying
+Elizabeth, the heiress of the house of York, made himself a title to
+a throne, which he would not otherwise have had (being but a base
+descendant of the Lancaster line); and proved a gloomy and vile
+husband to her; for no other cause, than because she had laid him under
+obligations which his pride would not permit him to own.--Nor would the
+unprincely wretch marry her till he was in possession of the crown, that
+he might not be supposed to owe it to her claim.
+
+
+     * Henry VII.
+
+
+You have chidden me, and again will, I doubt not, for the liberties I
+take with some of your relations. But my dear, need I tell you, that
+pride in ourselves must, and for ever will, provoke contempt, and bring
+down upon us abasement from others?--Have we not, in the case of a
+celebrated bard, observed, that those who aim at more than their due,
+will be refused the honours they may justly claim?--I am very much loth
+to offend you; yet I cannot help speaking of your relations, as well as
+of others, as I think they deserve. Praise or dispraise, is the reward
+or punishment which the world confers or inflicts on merit or
+demerit; and, for my part, I neither can nor will confound them in the
+application. I despise them all, but your mother: indeed I do: and as
+for her--but I will spare the good lady for your sake--and one
+argument, indeed, I think may be pleaded in her favour, in the present
+contention--she who has for so many years, and with such absolute
+resignation, borne what she has borne to the sacrifice of her own will,
+may think it an easier task than another person can imagine it, for her
+daughter to give up hers. But to think to whose instigation all this is
+originally owing--God forgive me; but with such usage I should have been
+with Lovelace before now! Yet remember, my dear, that the step which
+would not be wondered at from such a hasty-tempered creatures as me,
+would be inexcusable in such a considerate person as you.
+
+After your mother has been thus drawn in against her judgment, I am the
+less surprised, that your aunt Hervey should go along with her; since
+the two sisters never separate. I have inquired into the nature of the
+obligation which Mr. Hervey's indifferent conduct in his affairs has
+laid him under--it is only, it seems, that your brother has paid off
+for him a mortgage upon one part of his estate, which the mortgagee was
+about to foreclose; and taken it upon himself. A small favour (as he has
+ample security in his hands) from kindred to kindred: but such a one, it
+is plain, as has laid the whole family of the Herveys under obligation
+to the ungenerous lender, who has treated him, and his aunt too (as
+Miss Dolly Hervey has privately complained), with the less ceremony ever
+since.
+
+Must I, my dear, call such a creature your brother?--I believe I
+must--Because he is your father's son. There is no harm, I hope, in
+saying that.
+
+I am concerned, that you ever wrote at all to him. It was taking too
+much notice of him: it was adding to his self-significance; and a call
+upon him to treat you with insolence. A call which you might have been
+assured he would not fail to answer.
+
+But such a pretty master as this, to run riot against such a man as
+Lovelace; who had taught him to put his sword into his scabbard, when
+he had pulled it out by accident!--These in-door insolents, who, turning
+themselves into bugbears, frighten women, children, and servants, are
+generally cravens among men. Were he to come fairly across me, and say
+to my face some of the free things which I am told he has said of me
+behind my back, or that (as by your account) he has said of our sex, I
+would take upon myself to ask him two or three questions; although he
+were to send me a challenge likewise.
+
+I repeat, you know that I will speak my mind, and write it too. He is
+not my brother. Can you say, he is yours?--So, for your life, if you
+are just, you can't be angry with me: For would you side with a false
+brother against a true friend? A brother may not be a friend: but a
+friend will always be a brother--mind that, as your uncle Tony says!
+
+I cannot descend so low, as to take very particular notice of the
+epistles of these poor souls, whom you call uncles. Yet I love to divert
+myself with such grotesque characters too. But I know them and love you;
+and so cannot make the jest of them which their absurdities call for.
+
+You chide me, my dear,* for my freedoms with relations still nearer and
+dearer to you, than either uncles or brother or sister. You had better
+have permitted me (uncorrected) to have taken my own way. Do not use
+those freedoms naturally arise from the subject before us? And from whom
+arises that subject, I pray you? Can you for one quarter of an hour
+put yourself in my place, or in the place of those who are still more
+indifferent to the case than I can be?--If you can--But although I have
+you not often at advantage, I will not push you.
+
+
+     * See Vol. I. Letter XXVIII.
+
+
+Permit me, however, to subjoin, that well may your father love your
+mother, as you say he does. A wife who has no will but his! But were
+there not, think you, some struggles between them at first, gout out of
+the question?--Your mother, when a maiden, had, as I have heard (and it
+is very likely) a good share of those lively spirits which she liked
+in your father. She has none of them now. How came they to be
+dissipated?--Ah! my dear!--she has been too long resident in
+Trophonius's cave, I doubt.*
+
+
+     * Spectator, Vol. VIII. No. 599.
+
+
+Let me add one reflection upon this subject, and so entitle myself to
+your correction for all at once.--It is upon the conduct of those wives
+(for you and I know more than one such) who can suffer themselves to
+be out-blustered and out-gloomed of their own wills, instead of being
+fooled out of them by acts of tenderness and complaisance.--I wish,
+that it does not demonstrate too evidently, that, with some of the
+sex, insolent controul is a more efficacious subduer than kindness or
+concession. Upon my life, my dear, I have often thought, that many of us
+are mere babies in matrimony: perverse fools when too much indulged and
+humoured; creeping slaves, when treated harshly. But shall it be said,
+that fear makes us more gentle obligers than love?--Forbid it, Honour!
+Forbid it, Gratitude! Forbid it, Justice! that any woman of sense should
+give occasion to have this said of her!
+
+Did I think you would have any manner of doubt, from the style or
+contents of this letter, whose saucy pen it is that has run on at this
+rate, I would write my name at length; since it comes too much from my
+heart to disavow it: but at present the initials shall serve; and I will
+go on again directly.
+
+A.H.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER IV
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE THURSDAY MORN. 10 O'CLOCK (MAR. 23).
+
+
+I will postpone, or perhaps pass by, several observations which I had to
+make on other parts of your letters; to acquaint you, that Mr. Hickman,
+when in London, found an opportunity to inquire after Mr. Lovelace's
+town life and conversation.
+
+At the Cocoa-tree, in Pall-mall, he fell in with two of his intimates,
+the one named Belton, the other Mowbray; both very free of speech,
+and probably as free in their lives: but the waiters paid them great
+respect, and on Mr. Hickman's inquiry after their characters, called
+them men of fortune and honour.
+
+They began to talk of Mr. Lovelace of their own accord; and upon some
+gentlemen in the room asking, when they expected him in town, answered,
+that very day. Mr. Hickman (as they both went on praising Lovelace)
+said, he had indeed heard, that Mr. Lovelace was a very fine
+gentleman--and was proceeding, when one of them, interrupting him,
+said,--Only, Sir, the finest gentleman in the world; that's all.
+
+And so he led them on to expatiate more particularly on his qualities;
+which they were very fond of doing: but said not one single word in
+behalf of his morals--Mind that also, in your uncle's style.
+
+Mr. Hickman said, that Mr. Lovelace was very happy, as he understood, in
+the esteem of the ladies; and smiling, to make them believe he did not
+think amiss of it, that he pushed his good fortune as far as it would
+go.
+
+Well put, Mr. Hickman! thought I; equally grave and sage--thou seemest
+not to be a stranger to their dialect, as I suppose this is. But I said
+nothing; for I have often tried to find out this might sober man of my
+mother's: but hitherto have only to say, that he is either very moral,
+or very cunning.
+
+No doubt of it, replied one of them; and out came an oath, with a Who
+would not?--That he did as every young fellow would do.
+
+Very true! said my mother's puritan--but I hear he is in treaty with a
+fine lady--
+
+So he was, Mr. Belton said--The devil fetch her! [vile brute!] for
+she engrossed all his time--but that the lady's family ought to
+be--something--[Mr. Hickman desired to be excused repeating what--though
+he had repeated what was worse] and might dearly repent their usage of a
+man of his family and merit.
+
+Perhaps they may think him too wild, cries Hickman: and theirs is, I
+hear, a very sober family--
+
+SOBER! said one of them: A good honest word, Dick!--Where the devil has
+it lain all this time?--D---- me if I have heard of it in this sense
+ever since I was at college! and then, said he, we bandied it about
+among twenty of us as an obsolete.
+
+These, my dear, are Mr. Lovelace's companions: you'll be pleased to take
+notice of that!
+
+Mr. Hickman said, this put him out of countenance.
+
+I stared at him, and with such a meaning in my eyes, as he knew how to
+take; and so was out of countenance again.
+
+Don't you remember, my dear, who it was that told a young gentleman
+designed for the gown, who owned that he was apt to be too easily put
+out of countenance when he came into free company, 'That it was a bad
+sign; that it looked as if his morals were not proof; but that his good
+disposition seemed rather the effect of accident and education, than
+of such a choice as was founded upon principle?' And don't you know
+the lesson the very same young lady gave him, 'To endeavour to stem and
+discountenance vice, and to glory in being an advocate in all companies
+for virtue;' particularly observing, 'That it was natural for a man to
+shun or to give up what he was ashamed of?' Which she should be sorry
+to think his case on this occasion: adding, 'That vice was a coward, and
+would hide its head, when opposed by such a virtue as had presence of
+mind, and a full persuasion of its own rectitude to support it.' The
+lady, you may remember, modestly put her doctrine into the mouth of a
+worthy preacher, Dr. Lewen, as she used to do, when she has a mind not
+to be thought what she is at so early an age; and that it may give more
+weight to any thing she hit upon, that might appear tolerable, was her
+modest manner of speech.
+
+Mr. Hickman, upon the whole, professed to me, upon his second recovery,
+that he had no reason to think well of Mr. Lovelace's morals, from what
+he heard of him in town; yet his two intimates talked of his being more
+regular than he used to be. That he had made a very good resolution,
+that of old Tom Wharton, was the expression, That he would never give
+a challenge, nor refuse one; which they praised in him highly: that, in
+short, he was a very brave fellow, and the most agreeable companion in
+the world: and would one day make a great figure in his country; since
+there was nothing he was not capable of--
+
+I am afraid that his last assertion is too true. And this, my dear, is
+all that Mr. Hickman could pick up about him: And is it not enough to
+determine such a mind as yours, if not already determined?
+
+Yet it must be said too, that if there be a woman in the world that can
+reclaim him, it is you. And, by your account of his behaviour in the
+interview between you, I own I have some hope of him. At least, this
+I will say, that all the arguments he then used with you, seemed to
+be just and right. And if you are to be his--But no more of that: he
+cannot, after all, deserve you.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER V
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE THURSDAY AFTERNOON, MARCH 23.
+
+
+An unexpected visitor has turned the course of my thoughts, and changed
+the subject I had intended to pursue. The only one for whom I would have
+dispensed with my resolution not to see any body all the dedicated day:
+a visiter, whom, according to Mr. Hickman's report from the expectations
+of his libertine friends, I supposed to be in town.--Now, my dear, have
+I saved myself the trouble of telling you, that it was you too-agreeable
+rake. Our sex is said to love to trade in surprises: yet have I, by
+my promptitude, surprised myself out of mine. I had intended, you must
+know, to run twice the length, before I had suffered you to know so much
+as to guess who, and whether man or woman, my visiter was: but since you
+have the discovery at so cheap a rate, you are welcome to it.
+
+The end of his coming was, to engage my interest with my charming
+friend; and he was sure that I knew all your mind, to acquaint him what
+he had to trust to.
+
+He mentioned what had passed in the interview between you: but could not
+be satisfied with the result of it, and with the little satisfaction he
+had obtained from you: the malice of your family to him increasing, and
+their cruelty to you not abating. His heart, he told me, was in tumults,
+for fear you should be prevailed upon in favour of a man despised by
+every body.
+
+He gave me fresh instance of indignities cast upon himself by your
+uncles and brother; and declared, that if you suffered yourself to
+be forced into the arms of the man for whose sake he was loaded with
+undeserved abuses, you should be one of the youngest, as you would be
+one of the loveliest widows in England. And that he would moreover call
+your brother to account for the liberties he takes with his character to
+every one he meets with.
+
+He proposed several schemes, for you to choose some one of them, in
+order to enable you to avoid the persecutions you labour under: One
+I will mention--That you will resume your estate; and if you find
+difficulties that can be no otherwise surmounted, that you will, either
+avowedly or privately, as he had proposed to you, accept of Lady Betty
+Lawrance's or Lord M.'s assistance to instate you in it. He declared,
+that if you did, he would leave absolutely to your own pleasure
+afterwards, and to the advice which your cousin Morden on his arrival
+should give you, whether to encourage his address, or not, as you should
+be convinced of the sincerity of the reformation which his enemies make
+him so much want.
+
+I had now a good opportunity to sound him, as you wished Mr. Hickman
+would Lord M. as to the continued or diminished favour of the ladies,
+and of his Lordship, towards you, upon their being acquainted with the
+animosity of your relations to them, as well as to their kinsman. I laid
+hold of the opportunity, and he satisfied me, by reading some passages
+of a letter he had about him, from Lord M. That an alliance with
+you, and that on the foot of your own single merit, would be the most
+desirable event to them that could happen: and so far to the purpose of
+your wished inquiry does his Lordship go in this letter, that he assures
+him, that whatever you suffer in fortune from the violence of your
+relations on his account, he and Lady Sarah and Lady Betty will join to
+make it up to him. And yet that the reputation of a family so splendid,
+would, no doubt, in a case of such importance to the honour of both,
+make them prefer a general consent.
+
+I told him, as you yourself I knew had done, that you were extremely
+averse to Mr. Solmes; and that, might you be left to your own choice,
+it would be the single life. As to himself, I plainly said, That you had
+great and just objections to him on the score of his careless morals:
+that it was surprising, that men who gave themselves the liberties he
+was said to take, should presume to think, that whenever they took it
+into their heads to marry, the most virtuous and worthy of the sex
+were to fall to their lot. That as to the resumption, it had been very
+strongly urged by myself, and would be still further urged; though you
+had been hitherto averse to that measure: that your chief reliance and
+hopes were upon your cousin Morden; and that to suspend or gain time
+till he arrived, was, as I believed, your principal aim.
+
+I told him, That with regard to the mischief he threatened, neither the
+act nor the menace could serve any end but theirs who persecuted you; as
+it would give them a pretence for carrying into effect their compulsory
+projects; and that with the approbation of all the world; since he must
+not think the public would give its voice in favour of a violent young
+man, of no extraordinary character as to morals, who should seek to rob
+a family of eminence of a child so valuable; and who threatened, if he
+could not obtain her in preference to a man chosen by themselves, that
+he would avenge himself upon them all by acts of violence.
+
+I added, That he was very much mistaken, if he thought to intimidate you
+by such menaces: for that, though your disposition was all sweetness,
+yet I knew not a steadier temper in the world than yours; nor one more
+inflexible, (as your friends had found, and would still further find, if
+they continued to give occasion for its exertion,) whenever you thought
+yourself in the right; and that you were ungenerously dealt with in
+matters of too much moment to be indifferent about. Miss Clarissa
+Harlowe, Mr. Lovelace, let me tell you, said I, timid as her foresight
+and prudence may make her in some cases, where she apprehends dangers to
+those she loves, is above fear, in points where her honour, and the true
+dignity of her sex, are concerned.--In short, Sir, you must not think to
+frighten Miss Clarissa Harlowe into such a mean or unworthy conduct as
+only a weak or unsteady mind can be guilty of.
+
+He was so very far from intending to intimidate you, he said, that he
+besought me not to mention one word to you of what had passed between
+us: that what he had hinted at, which carried the air of menace, was
+owing to the fervour of his spirits, raised by his apprehensions of
+losing all hope of you for ever; and on a supposition, that you were to
+be actually forced into the arms of a man you hated: that were this to
+be the case, he must own, that he should pay very little regard to the
+world, or its censures: especially as the menaces of some of your family
+now, and their triumph over him afterwards, would both provoke and
+warrant all the vengeance he could take.
+
+He added, that all the countries in the world were alike to him, but on
+your account: so that, whatever he should think fit to do, were you lost
+to him, he should have noting to apprehend from the laws of this.
+
+I did not like the determined air he spoke this with: he is certainly
+capable of great rashness.
+
+He palliated a little this fierceness (which by the way I warmly
+censured) by saying, That while you remain single, he will bear all the
+indignities that shall be cast upon him by your family. But would
+you throw yourself, if you were still farther driven, into any other
+protection, if not Lord M.'s, or that of the ladies of his family, into
+my mother's,* suppose; or would you go to London to private lodgings,
+where he would never visit you, unless he had your leave (and from
+whence you might make your own terms with your relations); he would be
+entirely satisfied; and would, as he had said before, wait the effect of
+your cousin's arrival, and your free determination as to his own fate.
+Adding, that he knew the family so well, and how much fixed they were
+upon their measures, as well as the absolute dependence they had upon
+your temper and principles, that he could not but apprehend the worst,
+while you remained in their power, and under the influence of their
+persuasions and menaces.
+
+
+     * Perhaps it will be unnecessary to remind the reader, that
+     although Mr. Lovelace proposes (as above) to Miss Howe, that
+     her fair friend should have recourse to the protection of
+     Mrs. Howe, if farther driven; yet he had artfully taken
+     care, by means of his agent in the Harlowe family, not only
+     to inflame the family against her, but to deprive her of
+     Mrs. Howe's, and of every other protection, being from the
+     first resolved to reduce her to an absolute dependence upon
+     himself. See Vol. I. Letter XXXI.
+
+
+We had a great deal of other discourse: but as the reciting of the rest
+would be but a repetition of many of the things that passed between you
+and him in the interview between you in the wood-house, I refer myself
+to your memory on that occasion.*
+
+
+     * See Vol. I. Letter XXXVI.
+
+
+And now, my dear, upon the whole, I think it behoves you to make
+yourself independent: all then will fall right. This man is a violent
+man. I should wish, methinks, that you should not have either him or
+Solmes. You will find, if you get out of your brother's and sister's
+way, what you can or cannot do, with regard to either.
+
+If your relations persist in their foolish scheme, I think I will take
+his hint, and, at a proper opportunity, sound my mother. Mean time, let
+me have your clear opinion of the resumption, which I join with Lovelace
+in advising. You can but see how your demand will work. To demand, is
+not to litigate. But be your resolution what it will, do not by any
+means repeat to them, that you will not assert your right. If they go on
+to give you provocation, you may have sufficient reason to change your
+mind: and let them expect that you will change it. They have not the
+generosity to treat you the better for disclaiming the power they know
+you have. That, I think, need not now be told you. I am, my dearest
+friend, and ever will be,
+
+Your most affectionate and faithful ANNA HOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER VI
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE WEDN. NIGHT, MARCH 22.
+
+
+On the report made by my aunt and sister of my obstinacy, my assembled
+relations have taken an unanimous resolution (as Betty tells me it
+is) against me. This resolution you will find signified to me in the
+inclosed letter from my brother, just now brought me. Be pleased to
+return it, when perused. I may have occasion for it, in the altercations
+between my relations and me.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+MISS CLARY,
+
+I am commanded to let you know, that my father and uncles having heard
+your aunt Hervey's account of all that has passed between her and you:
+having heard from your sister what sort of treatment she has had from
+you: having recollected all that has passed between your mother and
+you: having weighed all your pleas and proposals: having taken into
+consideration their engagements with Mr. Solmes; that gentleman's
+patience, and great affection for you; and the little opportunity you
+have given yourself to be acquainted either with his merit, or his
+proposals: having considered two points more; to wit, the wounded
+authority of a father; and Mr. Solmes's continued entreaties (little
+as you have deserved regard from him) that you may be freed from a
+confinement to which he is desirous to attribute your perverseness to
+him [averseness I should have said, but let it go], he being unable to
+account otherwise for so strong a one, supposing you told truth to your
+mother, when you asserted that your heart was free; and which Mr. Solmes
+is willing to believe, though nobody else does--For all these reasons,
+it is resolved, that you shall go to your uncle Antony's: and you must
+accordingly prepare yourself to do so. You will have but short notice of
+the day, for obvious reasons.
+
+I will honestly tell you the motive for your going: it is a double one;
+first, That they may be sure, that you shall not correspond with any
+body they do not like (for they find from Mrs. Howe, that, by some means
+or other, you do correspond with her daughter; and, through her, perhaps
+with somebody else): and next, That you may receive the visits of Mr.
+Solmes; which you have thought fit to refuse to do here; by which means
+you have deprived yourself of the opportunity of knowing whom and what
+you have hitherto refused.
+
+If after one fortnight's conversation with Mr. Solmes, and after
+you have heard what your friends shall further urge in his behalf,
+unhardened by clandestine correspondencies, you shall convince them,
+that Virgil's amor omnibus idem (for the application of which I refer
+you to the Georgic as translated by Dryden) is verified in you, as well
+as in the rest of the animal creation; and that you cannot, or will
+not forego your prepossession in favour of the moral, the virtuous,
+the pious Lovelace, [I would please you if I could!] it will then be
+considered, whether to humour you, or to renounce you for ever.
+
+It is hoped, that as you must go, you will go cheerfully. Your uncle
+Antony will make ever thing at his house agreeable to you. But indeed he
+won't promise, that he will not, at proper times, draw up the bridge.
+
+Your visiters, besides Mr. Solmes, will be myself, if you permit me that
+honour, Miss Clary; your sister; and, as you behave to Mr. Solmes, your
+aunt Hervey, and your uncle Harlowe; and yet the two latter will
+hardly come neither, if they think it will be to hear your whining
+vocatives.--Betty Barnes will be your attendant: and I must needs tell
+you, Miss, that we none of us think the worse of the faithful maid for
+your dislike of her: although Betty, who would be glad to oblige you,
+laments it as a misfortune.
+
+Your answer is required, whether you cheerfully consent to go? And your
+indulgent mother bids me remind you from her, that a fortnight's visit
+from Mr. Solmes, are all that is meant at present.
+
+I am, as you shall be pleased to deserve, Yours, &c. JAMES HARLOWE, JUN.
+
+
+So here is the master-stroke of my brother's policy! Called upon to
+consent to go to my uncle Antony's avowedly to receive Mr. Solmes's
+visits!--A chapel! A moated-house!--Deprived of the opportunity of
+corresponding with you!--or of any possibility of escape, should
+violence be used to compel me to be that odious man's!*
+
+
+     * These violent measures, and the obstinate perseverance of
+     the whole family in them, will be the less wondered at, when
+     it is considered, that all the time they were but as so many
+     puppets danced upon Mr. Lovelace's wires, as he boasts, Vol.
+     I. Letter XXXI.
+
+
+Late as it was when I received this insolent letter, I wrote an answer
+to it directly, that it might be ready for the writer's time of rising.
+I inclose the rough draught of it. You will see by it how much his vile
+hint from the Georgic; and his rude one of my whining vocatives, have
+set me up. Besides, as the command to get ready to go to my uncle's is
+in the name of my father and uncles, it is but to shew a piece of the
+art they accuse me of, to resent the vile hint I have so much reason to
+resent in order to palliate my refusal of preparing to go to my uncle's;
+which refusal would otherwise be interpreted an act of rebellion by my
+brother and sister: for it seems plain to me, that they will work but
+half their ends, if they do not deprive me of my father's and uncles'
+favour, even although it were possible for me to comply with their own
+terms.
+
+
+You might have told me, Brother, in three lines, what the determination
+of my friends was; only, that then you would not have had room to
+display your pedantry by so detestable an allusion or reference to the
+Georgic. Give me leave to tell you, Sir, that if humanity were a branch
+of your studies at the university, it has not found a genius in you for
+mastering it. Nor is either my sex or myself, though a sister, I see
+entitled to the least decency from a brother, who has studied, as it
+seems, rather to cultivate the malevolence of his natural temper,
+than any tendency which one might have hoped his parentage, if not his
+education, might have given him to a tolerable politeness.
+
+I doubt not, that you will take amiss my freedom: but as you have
+deserved it from me, I shall be less and less concerned on that score,
+as I see you are more and more intent to shew your wit at the expense of
+justice and compassion.
+
+The time is indeed come that I can no longer bear those contempts and
+reflections which a brother, least of all men, is entitled to give. And
+let me beg of you one favour, Sir:--It is this, That you will not give
+yourself any concern about a husband for me, till I shall have the
+forwardness to propose a wife to you. Pardon me, Sir; but I cannot
+help thinking, that could I have the art to get my father of my side, I
+should have as much right to prescribe for you, as you have for me.
+
+As to the communication you make me, I must take upon me to say, That
+although I will receive, as becomes me, any of my father's commands;
+yet, as this signification is made by a brother, who has shewn of late
+so much of an unbrotherly animosity to me, (for no reason in the world
+that I know if, but that he believes he has, in me, one sister too much
+for his interest,) I think myself entitled to conclude, that such a
+letter as you have sent me, is all your own: and of course to declare,
+that, while I so think it, I will not willingly, nor even without
+violence, go to any place, avowedly to receive Mr. Solmes's visits.
+
+I think myself so much entitled to resent your infamous hint, and this
+as well for the sake of my sex, as for my own, that I ought to declare,
+as I do, that I will not receive any more of your letters, unless
+commanded to do so by an authority I never will dispute; except in a
+case where I think my future as well as present happiness concerned: and
+were such a case to happen, I am sure my father's harshness will be less
+owing to himself than to you; and to the specious absurdities of your
+ambitious and selfish schemes.--Very true, Sir!
+
+One word more, provoked as I am, I will add: That had I been thought as
+really obstinate and perverse as of late I am said to be, I should not
+have been so disgracefully treated as I have been--Lay your hand upon
+your heart, Brother, and say, By whose instigations?--And examine what I
+have done to deserve to be made thus unhappy, and to be obliged to style
+myself
+
+Your injured sister, CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+When, my dear, you have read my answer to my brother's letter, tell me
+what you think of me?--It shall go!
+
+
+
+
+LETTER VII
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE THURSDAY MORNING, MARCH 23.
+
+
+My letter has set them all in tumults: for, it seems, none of them went
+home last night; and they all were desired to be present to give
+their advice, if I should refuse compliance with a command thought so
+reasonable as it seems this is.
+
+Betty tells me, that at first my father, in a rage, was for coming up
+to me himself, and for turning me out of his doors directly. Nor was he
+restrained, till it was hinted to him, that that was no doubt my wish,
+and would answer all my perverse views. But the result was, that my
+brother (having really, as my mother and aunt insisted, taken wrong
+measures with me) should write again in a more moderate manner: for
+nobody else was permitted or cared to write to such a ready scribbler.
+And, I having declared, that I would not receive any more of his
+letters, without command from a superior authority, my mother was
+to give it hers: and accordingly has done so in the following lines,
+written on the superscription of his letter to me: which letter also
+follows; together with my reply.
+
+
+CLARY HARLOWE,
+
+Receive and read this, with the temper that becomes your sex, your
+character, your education, and your duty: and return an answer to it,
+directed to your brother.
+
+CHARLOTTE HARLOWE.
+
+
+TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE THURSDAY MORNING.
+
+Once more I write, although imperiously prohibited by a younger sister.
+Your mother will have me do so, that you may be destitute of all
+defence, if you persist in your pervicacy. Shall I be a pedant, Miss,
+for this word? She is willing to indulge in you the least appearance of
+that delicacy for which she once, as well as every body else, admired
+you--before you knew Lovelace; I cannot, however, help saying that: and
+she, and your aunt Hervey, will have it--[they would fain favour you,
+if they could] that I may have provoked from you the answer they
+nevertheless own to be so exceedingly unbecoming. I am now learning, you
+see, to take up the softer language, where you have laid it down. This
+then is the case:
+
+They entreat, they pray, they beg, they supplicate (will either of
+these do, Miss Clary?) that you will make no scruple to go to your uncle
+Antony's: and fairly I am to tell you, for the very purpose mentioned
+in my last--or, 'tis presumable, they need not entreat, beg, pray,
+supplicate. Thus much is promised to Mr. Solmes, who is your advocate,
+and very uneasy that you should be under constraint, supposing that your
+dislike to him arises from that. And, if he finds that you are not to be
+moved in his favour, when you are absolutely freed from what you call
+a controul, he will forbear thinking of you, whatever it costs him.
+He loves you too well: and in this, I really think, his understanding,
+which you have reflected upon, is to be questioned.
+
+Only for one fornight [sic], therefore, permit his visits. Your
+education (you tell me of mine, you know) ought to make you incapable
+of rudeness to any body. He will not, I hope, be the first man, myself
+excepted, whom you ever treated rudely, purely because he is esteemed
+by us all. I am, what you have a mind to make me, friend, brother,
+or servant--I wish I could be still more polite, to so polite, to so
+delicate, a sister.
+
+JA. HARLOWE.
+
+You must still write to me, if you condescend to reply. Your mother
+will not be permitted to be disturbed with your nothing-meaning
+vocatives!--Vocatives, once more, Madam Clary, repeats the pedant your
+brother!
+
+
+*****
+
+
+TO JAMES HARLOWE, JUNIOR, ESQ.
+
+Permit me, my ever-dear and honoured Papa and Mamma, in this manner to
+surprise you into an audience, (presuming this will be read to you,)
+since I am denied the honour of writing to you directly. Let me beg of
+you to believe, that nothing but the most unconquerable dislike
+could make me stand against your pleasure. What are riches, what are
+settlements, to happiness? Let me not thus cruelly be given up to a man
+my very soul is averse to. Permit me to repeat, that I cannot honestly
+be his. Had I a slighter notion of the matrimonial duty than I have,
+perhaps I might. But when I am to bear all the misery, and that for
+life; when my heart is less concerned in this matter, than my soul;
+my temporary, perhaps, than my future good; why should I be denied the
+liberty of refusing? That liberty is all I ask.
+
+It were easy for me to give way to hear Mr. Solmes talk for the
+mentioned fortnight, although it is impossible for me, say what he
+would, to get over my dislike to him. But the moated-house, the chapel
+there, and the little mercy my brother and sister, who are to be there,
+have hitherto shewn me, are what I am extremely apprehensive of. And why
+does my brother say, my restraint is to be taken off, (and that too
+at Mr. Solmes's desire,) when I am to be a still closer prisoner than
+before; the bridge threatened to be drawn up; and no dear papa and mamma
+near me, to appeal to, in the last resort?
+
+Transfer not, I beseech you, to a brother and sister your own authority
+over your child--to a brother and sister, who treat me with unkindness
+and reproach; and, as I have too much reason to apprehend, misrepresent
+my words and behaviour; or, greatly favoured as I used to be, it is
+impossible I should be sunk so low in your opinions, as I unhappily am!
+
+Let but this my hard, my disgraceful confinement be put an end to.
+Permit me, my dear Mamma, to pursue my needleworks in your presence,
+as one of your maidens; and you shall be witness, that it is not either
+wilfulness or prepossession that governs me. Let me not, however, be put
+out of your own house. Let Mr. Solmes come and go, as my papa pleases:
+let me but stay or retire when he comes, as I can; and leave the rest to
+Providence.
+
+Forgive me, Brother, that thus, with an appearance of art, I address
+myself to my father and mother, to whom I am forbidden to approach,
+or to write. Hard it is to be reduced to such a contrivance! Forgive
+likewise the plain dealing I have used in the above, with the nobleness
+of a gentleman, and the gentleness due from a brother to a sister.
+Although of late you have given me but little room to hope either for
+your favour or compassion; yet, having not deserved to forfeit either, I
+presume to claim both: for I am confident it is at present much in your
+power, although but my brother (my honoured parents both, I bless God,
+in being), to give peace to the greatly disturbed mind of
+
+Your unhappy sister, CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+Betty tells me, my brother has taken my letter all in pieces; and has
+undertaken to write such an answer to it, as shall confirm the wavering.
+So, it is plain, that I should have moved somebody by it, but for this
+hard-hearted brother--God forgive him!
+
+
+
+
+LETTER VIII
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE THURSDAY NIGHT, MARCH 23.
+
+
+I send you the boasted confutation-letter, just now put into my
+hands. My brother and sister, my uncle Antony and Mr. Solmes, are,
+I understand, exulting over the copy of it below, as an unanswerable
+performance.
+
+
+TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE
+
+Once again, my inflexible Sister, I write to you. It is to let you know,
+that the pretty piece of art you found out to make me the vehicle
+of your whining pathetics to your father and mother, has not had the
+expected effect.
+
+I do assure you, that your behaviour has not been misrepresented--nor
+need it. Your mother, who is solicitous to take all opportunities of
+putting the most favourable constructions upon all you do, has been
+forced, as you well know, to give you up, upon full trial. No need then
+of the expedient of pursuing your needleworks in her sight. She cannot
+bear your whining pranks: and it is for her sake, that you are not
+permitted to come into her presence--nor will be, but upon her own
+terms.
+
+You had like to have made a simpleton of your aunt Hervey yesterday:
+she came down from you, pleading in your favour. But when she was asked,
+What concession she had brought you to? she looked about her, and knew
+not what to answer. So your mother, when surprised into the beginning
+of your cunning address to her and to your father, under my name, (for
+I had begun to read it, little suspecting such an ingenious
+subterfuge,)and would then make me read it through, wrung her hands, Oh!
+her dear child, her dear child, must not be so compelled!--But when she
+was asked, Whether she would be willing to have for her son-in-law the
+man who bids defiance to her whole family; and who had like to have
+murdered her son? And what concession she had gained from her dear child
+to merit this tenderness? And that for one who had apparently deceived
+her in assuring her that her heart was free?--Then could she look
+about her, as her sister had done before: then was she again brought to
+herself, and to a resolution to assert her authority [not to transfer
+it, witty presumer!] over the rebel, who of late has so ungratefully
+struggled to throw it off.
+
+You seem, child, to have a high notion of the matrimonial duty; and I'll
+warrant, like the rest of your sex, (one or two, whom I have the honour
+to know, excepted,) that you will go to church to promise what you will
+never think of afterwards. But, sweet child! as your worthy Mamma Norton
+calls you, think a little less of the matrimonial, (at least, till you
+come into that state,) and a little more of the filial duty.
+
+How can you say, you are to bear all the misery, when you give so large
+a share of it to your parents, to your uncles, to your aunt, to myself,
+and to your sister; who all, for eighteen years of your life, loved you
+so well?
+
+If of late I have not given you room to hope for my favour or
+compassion, it is because of late you have not deserved either. I know
+what you mean, little reflecting fool, by saying, it is much in my
+power, although but your brother, (a very slight degree of relationship
+with you,) to give you that peace which you can give yourself whenever
+you please.
+
+The liberty of refusing, pretty Miss, is denied you, because we are all
+sensible, that the liberty of choosing, to every one's dislike, must
+follow. The vile wretch you have set your heart upon speaks this plainly
+to every body, though you won't. He says you are his, and shall be his,
+and he will be the death of any man who robs him of his PROPERTY. So,
+Miss, we have a mind to try this point with him. My father, supposing he
+has the right of a father in his child, is absolutely determined not to
+be bullied out of that right. And what must that child be, who prefers
+the rake to a father?
+
+This is the light in which this whole debate ought to be taken. Blush,
+then, Delicacy, that cannot bear the poet's amor omnibus idem!--Blush,
+then, Purity! Be ashamed, Virgin Modesty! And, if capable of conviction,
+surrender your whole will to the will of the honoured pair, to whom you
+owe your being: and beg of all your friends to forgive and forget the
+part you have of late acted.
+
+I have written a longer letter than ever I designed to write to you,
+after the insolent treatment and prohibition you have given me: and,
+now I am commissioned to tell you, that your friends are as weary of
+confining you, as you are of being confined. And therefore you must
+prepare yourself to go in a very few days, as you have been told before,
+to your uncle Antony's; who, notwithstanding you apprehensions, will
+draw up his bridge when he pleases; will see what company he pleases
+in his own house; nor will he demolish his chapel to cure you of your
+foolish late-commenced antipathy to a place of divine worship.--The more
+foolish, as, if we intended to use force, we could have the ceremony
+pass in your chamber, as well as any where else.
+
+Prejudice against Mr. Solmes has evidently blinded you, and there is a
+charitable necessity to open your eyes: since no one but you thinks
+the gentleman so contemptible in his person; nor, for a plain country
+gentleman, who has too much solid sense to appear like a coxcomb, justly
+blamable in his manners.--And as to his temper, it is necessary you
+should speak upon fuller knowledge, than at present it is plain you can
+have of him.
+
+Upon the whole, it will not be amiss, that you prepare for your speedy
+removal, as well for the sake of your own conveniency, as to shew your
+readiness, in one point, at least, to oblige your friends; one of whom
+you may, if you please to deserve it, reckon, though but a brother,
+
+JAMES HARLOWE.
+
+P.S. If you are disposed to see Mr. Solmes, and to make some excuses
+to him for past conduct, in order to be able to meet him somewhere else
+with the less concern to yourself for your freedoms with him, he shall
+attend you where you please.
+
+If you have a mind to read the settlements, before they are read to you
+for your signing, they shall be sent you up--Who knows, but they will
+help you to some fresh objections?--Your heart is free, you know--It
+must--For, did you not tell your mother it was? And will the pious
+Clarissa fib to her mamma?
+
+I desire no reply. The case requires none. Yet I will ask you, Have you,
+Miss, no more proposals to make?
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I was so vexed when I came to the end of this letter, (the postscript to
+which, perhaps, might be written after the others had seen the letter,)
+that I took up my pen, with an intent to write to my uncle Harlowe about
+resuming my own estate, in pursuance of your advice. But my heart failed
+me, when I recollected, that I had not one friend to stand by or
+support me in my claim; and it would but the more incense them, without
+answering any good end. Oh! that my cousin were but come!
+
+Is it not a sad thing, beloved as I thought myself so lately by every
+one, that now I have not one person in the world to plead for me, to
+stand by me, or who would afford me refuge, were I to be under the
+necessity of asking for it!--I who had the vanity to think I had as
+many friends as I saw faces, and flattered myself too, that it was not
+altogether unmerited, because I saw not my Maker's image, either in man,
+woman, or child, high or low, rich or poor, whom, comparatively, I
+loved not as myself.--Would to heaven, my dear, that you were married!
+Perhaps, then, you could have induced Mr. Hickman to afford me
+protection, till these storms were over-blown. But then this might have
+involved him in difficulties and dangers; and that I would not have done
+for the world.
+
+I don't know what to do, not I!--God forgive me, but I am very
+impatient! I wish--But I don't know what to wish, without a sin!--Yet I
+wish it would please God to take me to his mercy!--I can meet with none
+here--What a world is this!--What is there in it desirable? The good we
+hope for, so strangely mixed, that one knows not what to wish for! And
+one half of mankind tormenting the other, and being tormented themselves
+in tormenting!--For here is this my particular case, my relations cannot
+be happy, though they make me unhappy!--Except my brother and sister,
+indeed--and they seem to take delight in and enjoy the mischief they
+make.
+
+But it is time to lay down my pen, since my ink runs nothing but gall.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER IX
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE FRIDAY MORNING, SIX O'CLOCK
+
+Mrs. Betty tells me, there is now nothing talked of but of my going
+to my uncle Antony's. She has been ordered, she says, to get ready to
+attend me thither: and, upon my expressing my averseness to go, had the
+confidence to say, That having heard me often praise the romanticness
+of the place, she was astonished (her hands and eyes lifted up) that I
+should set myself against going to a house so much in my taste.
+
+I asked if this was her own insolence, or her young mistress's
+observation?
+
+She half-astonished me by her answer: That it was hard she could not say
+a good thing, without being robbed of the merit of it.
+
+As the wench looked as if she really thought she had said a good thing,
+without knowing the boldness of it, I let it pass. But, to say the
+truth, this creature has surprised me on many occasions with her
+smartness: for, since she has been employed in this controuling office,
+I have discovered a great deal of wit in her assurance, which I never
+suspected before. This shews, that insolence is her talent: and that
+Fortune, in placing her as a servant to my sister, had not done so
+kindly by her as Nature; for that she would make a better figure as her
+companion. And indeed I can't help thinking sometimes, that I myself was
+better fitted by Nature to be the servant of both, than the mistress of
+the one, or the servant of the other. And within these few months past,
+Fortune has acted by me, as if she were of the same mind.
+
+
+FRIDAY, TEN O'CLOCK
+
+Going down to my poultry-yard, just now, I heard my brother and sister
+and that Solmes laughing and triumphing together. The high yew-hedge
+between us, which divides the yard from the garden, hindered them from
+seeing me.
+
+My brother, as I found, has been reading part, or the whole perhaps, of
+the copy of his last letter--Mighty prudent, and consistent, you'll say,
+with their views to make me the wife of a man from whom they conceal
+not what, were I to be such, it would be kind in them to endeavour to
+conceal, out of regard to my future peace!--But I have no doubt, that
+they hate me heartily.
+
+Indeed, you was up with her there, brother, said my sister. You need not
+have bid her not to write to you. I'll engage, with all her wit, she'll
+never pretend to answer it.
+
+Why, indeed, said my brother, with an air of college-sufficiency, with
+which he abounds, (for he thinks nobody writes like himself,) I believe
+I have given her a choke-pear. What say you, Mr. Solmes?
+
+Why, Sir, said he, I think it is unanswerable. But will it not
+exasperate he more against me?
+
+Never fear, Mr. Solmes, said my brother, but we'll carry our point, if
+she do not tire you out first. We have gone too far in this method to
+recede. Her cousin Morden will soon be here: so all must be over before
+that time, or she'll be made independent of us all.
+
+There, Miss Howe, is the reason given for their jehu-driving.
+
+Mr. Solmes declared, that he was determined to persevere while my
+brother gave him any hopes, and while my father stood firm.
+
+My sister told my brother, that he hit me charmingly on the reason why
+I ought to converse with Mr. Solmes: but that he should not be so smart
+upon the sex, for the faults of this perverse girl.
+
+Some lively, and, I suppose, witty answer, my brother returned; for he
+and Mr. Solmes laughed outrageously upon it, and Bella, laughing too,
+called him a naughty man: but I heard no more of what they said; they
+walked on into the garden.
+
+If you think, my dear, that what I have related did not again fire me,
+you will find yourself mistaken when you read at this place the enclosed
+copy of my letter to my brother; struck off while the iron was red hot.
+
+No more call me meek and gentle, I beseech you.
+
+
+TO MR. JAMES HARLOWE
+
+FRIDAY MORNING.
+
+SIR,
+
+If, notwithstanding your prohibition, I should be silent, on occasion of
+your last, you would, perhaps, conclude, that I was consenting to go to
+my uncle Antony's upon the condition you mention. My father must do as
+he pleases with his child. He may turn me out of his doors, if he thinks
+fit, or give you leave to do it; but (loth as I am to say it) I should
+think it very hard to be carried by force to any body's house, when I
+have one of my own to go to.
+
+Far be it from me, notwithstanding yours and my sister's provocations,
+to think of my taking my estate into my own hands, without my father's
+leave: But why, if I must not stay any longer here, may I not be
+permitted to go thither? I will engage to see nobody they would not have
+me see, if this favour be permitted. Favour I call it, and am ready to
+receive and acknowledge it as such, although my grandfather's will has
+made it a matter of right.
+
+You ask me, in a very unbrotherly manner, in the postscript to your
+letter, if I have not some new proposals to make? I HAVE (since you put
+the question) three or four; new ones all, I think; though I will be
+bold to say, that, submitting the case to any one person whom you have
+not set against me, my old ones ought not to have been rejected. I think
+this; why then should I not write it?--Nor have you any more reason to
+storm at your sister for telling it you, (since you seem in your letter
+to make it your boast how you turned my mother and my aunt Hervey
+against me,) than I have to be angry with my brother, for treating me as
+no brother ought to treat a sister.
+
+These, then, are my new proposals.
+
+That, as above, I may not be hindered from going to reside (under such
+conditions as shall be prescribed to me, which I will most religiously
+observe) at my grandfather's late house. I will not again in this place
+call it mine. I have reason to think it a great misfortune that ever it
+was so--indeed I have.
+
+If this be not permitted, I desire leave to go for a month, or for what
+time shall be thought fit, to Miss Howe's. I dare say my mother will
+consent to it, if I have my father's permission to go.
+
+If this, neither, be allowed, and I am to be turned out of my father's
+house, I beg I may be suffered to go to my aunt Hervey's, where I will
+inviolably observe her commands, and those of my father and mother.
+
+But if this, neither, is to be granted, it is my humble request, that I
+may be sent to my uncle Harlowe's, instead of my uncle Antony's. I mean
+not by this any disrespect to my uncle Antony: but his moat, with his
+bridge threatened to be drawn up, and perhaps the chapel there, terrify
+me beyond expression, notwithstanding your witty ridicule upon me for
+that apprehension.
+
+If this likewise be refused, and if I must be carried to the
+moated-house, which used to be a delightful one to me, let it be
+promised me, that I shall not be compelled to receive Mr. Solmes's
+visits there; and then I will as cheerfully go, as ever I did.
+
+So here, Sir, are your new proposals. And if none of them answer
+your end, as each of them tends to the exclusion of that ungenerous
+persister's visits, be pleased to know, that there is no misfortune I
+will not submit to, rather than yield to give my hand to the man to whom
+I can allow no share in my heart.
+
+If I write in a style different from my usual, and different from what
+I wished to have occasion to write, an impartial person, who knew what I
+have accidentally, within this hour past, heard from your mouth, and my
+sister's, and a third person's, (particularly the reason you give
+for driving on at this violent rate, to wit, my cousin Morden's
+soon-expected arrival,) would think I have but too much reason for it.
+Then be pleased to remember, Sir, that when my whining vocatives have
+subjected me to so much scorn and ridicule, it is time, were it but to
+imitate examples so excellent as you and my sister set me, that I should
+endeavour to assert my character, in order to be thought less an alien,
+and nearer of kin to you both, than either of you have of late seemed to
+suppose me.
+
+Give me leave, in order to empty my female quiver at once, to add, that
+I know no other reason which you can have for forbidding me to reply to
+you, after you have written what you pleased to me, than that you are
+conscious you cannot answer to reason and to justice the treatment you
+have given me.
+
+If it be otherwise, I, an unlearned, an unlogical girl, younger by near
+a third than yourself, will venture (so assured am I of the justice of
+my cause) to put my fate upon an issue with you: with you, Sir, who have
+had the advantage of an academical education; whose mind must have been
+strengthened by observation, and learned conversation, and who, pardon
+my going so low, have been accustomed to give choke-pears to those you
+vouchsafe to write against.
+
+Any impartial person, your late tutor, for instance, or the pious and
+worthy Dr. Lewen, may be judge between us: and if either give it against
+me, I will promise to resign to my destiny: provided, if it be given
+against you, that my father will be pleased only to allow of my negative
+to the person so violently sought to be imposed upon me.
+
+I flatter myself, Brother, that you will the readier come into this
+proposal, as you seem to have a high opinion of your talents for
+argumentation; and not a low one of the cogency of the arguments
+contained in your last letter. And if I can possibly have no advantage
+in a contention with you, if the justice of my cause affords me not any
+(as you have no opinion it will,) it behoves you, methinks, to shew to
+an impartial moderator that I am wrong, and you not so.
+
+If this be accepted, there is a necessity for its being carried on
+by the pen; the facts being stated, and agreed upon by both; and the
+decision to be given, according to the force of the arguments each shall
+produce in support of their side of the question: for give me leave
+to say, I know too well the manliness of your temper, to offer at a
+personal debate with you.
+
+If it be not accepted, I shall conclude, that you cannot defend your
+conduct towards me; and shall only beg of you, that, for the future, you
+will treat me with the respect due to a sister from a brother who would
+be thought as polite as learned.
+
+And now, Sir, if I have seemed to shew some spirit, not foreign to the
+relation I have the honour to be to you, and to my sister; and which may
+be deemed not altogether of a piece with that part of my character which
+once, it seems, gained me every one's love; be pleased to consider to
+whom, and to what it is owing; and that this part of that character was
+not dispensed with, till it subjected me to that scorn, and to those
+insults, which a brother, who has been so tenacious of an independence
+voluntarily given up by me, and who has appeared so exalted upon it,
+ought not to have shewn to any body, much less to a weak and defenceless
+sister; who is, notwithstanding, an affectionate and respectful one, and
+would be glad to shew herself to be so upon all future occasions; as she
+has in every action of her past life, although of late she has met with
+such unkind returns.
+
+CL. HARLOWE
+
+
+*****
+
+
+See, my dear, the force, and volubility, as I may say, of passion; for
+the letter I send you is my first draught, struck off without a blot or
+erasure.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+FRIDAY, THREE O'CLOCK
+
+As soon as I had transcribed it, I sent it down to my brother by Mrs.
+Betty.
+
+The wench came up soon after, all aghast, with a Laud, Miss! What have
+you done?--What have you written? For you have set them all in a joyful
+uproar!
+
+
+*****
+
+
+My sister is but this moment gone from me. She came up all in a flame;
+which obliged me abruptly to lay down my pen: she ran to me--
+
+O Spirit! said she; tapping my neck a little too hard. And is it come to
+this at last--!
+
+Do you beat me, Bella?
+
+Do you call this beating you? only tapping you shoulder thus, said
+she; tapping again more gently--This is what we expected it would come
+to--You want to be independent--My father has lived too long for you--!
+
+I was going to speak with vehemence; but she put her handkerchief
+before my mouth, very rudely--You have done enough with your pen, mean
+listener, as you are!--But know that neither your independent scheme,
+nor any of your visiting ones, will be granted you. Take your course,
+perverse one! Call in your rake to help you to an independence upon
+your parents, and a dependence upon him!--Do so!--Prepare this
+moment--resolve what you will take with you--to-morrow you go--depend
+upon it to-morrow you go!--No longer shall you stay here, watching
+and creeping about to hearken to what people say--'Tis determined,
+child!--You go to-morrow--my brother would have come up to tell you so;
+but I persuaded him to the contrary--for I know not what had become
+of you, if he had--Such a letter! such an insolent, such a
+conceited challenger!--O thou vain creature! But prepare yourself, I
+say--to-morrow you go--my brother will accept of your bold challenge;
+but it must be personal; and at my uncle Antony's--or perhaps at Mr.
+Solmes's--
+
+Thus she ran on, almost foaming with passion; till, quite out of
+patience, I said, No more of your violence, Bella--Had I known in what
+way you designed to come up, you should not have found my chamber-door
+open--talk to your servant in this manner. Unlike you, as I bless God I
+am, I am nevertheless your sister--and let me tell you, that I won't go
+to-morrow, nor next day, nor next day to that--except I am dragged away
+by violence.
+
+What! not if your father or mother command it--Girl? said she, intending
+another word, by her pause and manner before it came out.
+
+Let it come to that, Bella; then I shall know what to say. But it shall
+be from their own mouths, if I do--not from yours, nor you Betty's--And
+say another word to me, in this manner, and be the consequence what it
+may, I will force myself into their presence; and demand what I have
+done to be used thus!
+
+Come along, Child! Come along, Meekness--taking my hand, and leading me
+towards the door--Demand it of them now--you'll find both your despised
+parents together!--What! does your heart fail you?--for I resisted,
+being thus insolently offered to be led, and pulled my hand from her.
+
+I want not to be led, said I; and since I can plead your invitation, I
+will go: and was posting to the stairs accordingly in my passion--but
+she got between me and the door, and shut it--
+
+Let me first, Bold one, said she, apprize them of your visit--for your
+own sake let me--for my brother is with them. But yet opening it again,
+seeing me shrink back--Go, if you will!--Why don't you go?--Why don't
+you go, Miss?--following me to my closet, whither I retired, with my
+heart full, and pulled the sash-door after me; and could no longer hold
+in my tears.
+
+Nor would I answer one word to her repeated aggravations, nor to her
+demands upon me to open my door (for the key was on the inside); nor so
+much as turn my head towards her, as she looked through the glass at me.
+And at last, which vexed her to the heart, I drew the silk curtain, that
+she should not see me, and down she went muttering all the way.
+
+Is not this usage enough to provoke a rashness never before thought of?
+
+As it is but too probable that I may be hurried away to my uncle's
+without being able to give you previous notice of it; I beg that as soon
+as you shall hear of such a violence, you would send to the usual place,
+to take back such of your letters as may not have reached my hands, or
+to fetch any of mine that may be there.
+
+May you, my dear, be always happy, prays you CLARISSA HARLOWE.
+
+I have received your four letters. But am in such a ferment, that I
+cannot at present write to them.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER X
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE FRIDAY NIGHT, MARCH 24.
+
+
+I have a most provoking letter from my sister. I might have supposed she
+would resent the contempt she brought upon herself in my chamber. Her
+conduct surely can only be accounted for by the rage instigate by a
+supposed rivalry.
+
+
+TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE
+
+I am to tell you, that your mother has begged you off for the morrow:
+but that you have effectually done your business with her, as well as
+with every body else.
+
+In your proposals and letter to your brother, you have shewn yourself so
+silly, and so wise; so young, and so old; so gentle, and so obstinate;
+so meek, and so violent; that never was there so mixed a character.
+
+We all know of whom you have borrowed this new spirit. And yet the seeds
+of it must be in your heart, or it could not all at once shew itself so
+rampant. It would be doing Mr. Solmes a spite to wish him such a shy,
+un-shy girl; another of your contradictory qualities--I leave you to
+make out what I mean by it.
+
+Here, Miss, your mother will not let you remain: she cannot have any
+peace of mind while such a rebel of a child is so near her. Your aunt
+Hervey will not take a charge which all the family put together cannot
+manage. Your uncle Harlowe will not see you at his house, till you are
+married. So, thanks to your own stubbornness, you have nobody that will
+receive you but your uncle Antony. Thither you must go in a very
+few days; and, when there, your brother will settle with you, in my
+presence, all that relates to your modest challenge; for it is accepted,
+I assure you. Dr. Lewen will possibly be there, since you make choice of
+him. Another gentleman likewise, were it but to convince you, that he is
+another sort of man than you have taken him to be. Your two uncles
+will possibly be there too, to see that the poor, weak, and defenceless
+sister has fair play. So, you see, Miss, what company your smart
+challenge will draw together.
+
+Prepare for the day. You'll soon be called upon. Adieu, Mamma Norton's
+sweet child!
+
+ARAB. HARLOWE.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I transcribed this letter, and sent it to my mother, with these lines:
+
+
+A very few words, my ever-honoured Mamma!
+
+If my sister wrote the enclosed by my father's direction, or yours, I
+must submit to the usage she gave me in it, with this only observation,
+That it is short of the personal treatment I have received from her.
+If it be of her own head--why then, Madam--But I knew that when I was
+banished from your presence--Yet, till I know if she has or has not
+authority for this usage, I will only write further, that I am
+
+Your very unhappy child, CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+This answer I received in an open slip of paper; but it was wet in one
+place. I kissed the place; for I am sure it was blistered, as I may
+say, by a mother's tear!--She must (I hope she must) have written it
+reluctantly.
+
+
+To apply for protection, where authority is defied, is bold. Your
+sister, who would not in your circumstances have been guilty of your
+perverseness, may allowably be angry at you for it. However, we have
+told her to moderate her zeal for our insulted authority. See, if you
+can deserve another behaviour, than that you complain of: which cannot,
+however be so grievous to you, as the cause of it is to
+
+Your more unhappy Mother.
+
+How often must I forbid you any address to me!
+
+
+*****
+
+
+Give me, my dearest Miss Howe, your opinion, what I can, what I ought
+to do. Not what you would do (pushed as I am pushed) in resentment or
+passion--since, so instigated, you tell me, that you should have been
+with somebody before now--and steps taken in passion hardly ever fail
+of giving cause for repentance: but acquaint me with what you think
+cool judgment, and after-reflection, whatever were to be the event, will
+justify.
+
+I doubt not your sympathizing love: but yet you cannot possibly feel
+indignity and persecution so very sensibly as the immediate sufferer
+feels them--are fitter therefore to advise me, than I am myself.
+
+I will here rest my cause. Have I, or have I not, suffered or borne
+enough? And if they will still persevere; if that strange persister
+against an antipathy so strongly avowed, will still persist; say, What
+can I do?--What course pursue?--Shall I fly to London, and endeavour to
+hide myself from Lovelace, as well as from all my own relations, till
+my cousin Morden arrives? Or shall I embark for Leghorn in my way to my
+cousin? Yet, my sex, my youth, considered, how full of danger is this
+last measure!--And may not my cousin be set out for England, while I
+am getting thither?--What can I do?--Tell me, tell me, my dearest Miss
+Howe, [for I dare not trust myself,] tell me, what I can do.
+
+ELEVEN O'CLOCK AT NIGHT.
+
+I have been forced to try to compose my angry passions at my
+harpsichord; having first shut close my doors and windows, that I might
+not be heard below. As I was closing the shutters of the windows, the
+distant whooting of the bird of Minerva, as from the often-visited
+woodhouse, gave the subject in that charming Ode to Wisdom, which does
+honour to our sex, as it was written by one of it. I made an essay, a
+week ago, to set the three last stanzas of it, as not unsuitable to my
+unhappy situation; and after I had re-perused the Ode, those were
+my lesson; and, I am sure, in the solemn address they contain to the
+All-Wise and All-powerful Deity, my heart went with my fingers.
+
+I enclose the Ode, and my effort with it. The subject is solemn; my
+circumstances are affecting; and I flatter myself, that I have not been
+quite unhappy in the performance. If it obtain your approbation, I shall
+be out of doubt, and should be still more assured, could I hear it tried
+by your voice and finger.
+
+
+
+ODE TO WISDOM BY A LADY
+
+
+     I.
+     The solitary bird of night
+     Thro' thick shades now wings his flight,
+        And quits his time-shook tow'r;
+     Where, shelter'd from the blaze of day,
+     In philosophic gloom he lay,
+        Beneath his ivy bow'r.
+
+     II.
+     With joy I hear the solemn sound,
+     Which midnight echoes waft around,
+        And sighing gales repeat.
+     Fav'rite of Pallas! I attend,
+     And, faithful to thy summons, bend
+        At Wisdom's awful seat.
+
+     III.
+     She loves the cool, the silent eve,
+     Where no false shows of life deceive,
+        Beneath the lunar ray.
+     Here folly drops each vain disguise;
+     Nor sport her gaily colour'd dyes,
+        As in the beam of day.
+
+     IV.
+     O Pallas! queen of ev'ry art,
+     That glads the sense, and mends the heart,
+        Blest source of purer joys!
+     In ev'ry form of beauty bright,
+     That captivates the mental sight
+        With pleasure and surprise;
+
+     V.
+     To thy unspotted shrine I bow:
+     Attend thy modest suppliant's vow,
+        That breathes no wild desires;
+     But, taught by thy unerring rules,
+     To shun the fruitless wish of fools,
+        To nobler views aspires.
+
+     VI.
+     Not Fortune's gem, Ambition's plume,
+     Nor Cytherea's fading bloom,
+        Be objects of my prayer:
+     Let av'rice, vanity, and pride,
+     Those envy'd glitt'ring toys divide,
+        The dull rewards of care.
+
+     VII.
+     To me thy better gifts impart,
+     Each moral beauty of the heart,
+        By studious thought refin'd;
+     For wealth, the smile of glad content;
+     For pow'r, its amplest, best extent,
+        An empire o'er my mind.
+
+     VIII.
+     When Fortune drops her gay parade.
+     When Pleasure's transient roses fade,
+        And wither in the tomb,
+     Unchang'd is thy immortal prize;
+     Thy ever-verdant laurels rise
+        In undecaying bloom.
+
+     IX.
+     By thee protected, I defy
+     The coxcomb's sneer, the stupid lie
+        Of ignorance and spite:
+     Alike contemn the leaden fool,
+     And all the pointed ridicule
+        Of undiscerning wit.
+
+     X.
+     From envy, hurry, noise, and strife,
+     The dull impertinence of life,
+        In thy retreat I rest:
+     Pursue thee to the peaceful groves,
+     Where Plato's sacred spirit roves,
+        In all thy beauties drest.
+
+     XI.
+     He bad Ilyssus' tuneful stream
+     Convey thy philosophic theme
+        Of perfect, fair, and good:
+     Attentive Athens caught the sound,
+     And all her list'ning sons around
+        In awful silence stood.
+
+     XII.
+     Reclaim'd her wild licentious youth,
+     Confess'd the potent voice of Truth,
+        And felt its just controul.
+     The Passions ceas'd their loud alarms,
+     And Virtue's soft persuasive charms
+        O'er all their senses stole.
+
+     XIII.
+     Thy breath inspires the Poet's song
+     The Patriot's free, unbiass'd tongue,
+        The Hero's gen'rous strife;
+     Thine are retirement's silent joys,
+     And all the sweet engaging ties
+        Of still, domestic life.
+
+     XIV.
+     No more to fabled names confin'd;
+     To Thee supreme, all perfect mind,
+        My thought direct their flight.
+     Wisdom's thy gift, and all her force
+     From thee deriv'd, Eternal source
+        Of Intellectual Light!
+
+     XV.
+     O send her sure, her steady ray,
+     To regulate my doubtful way,
+        Thro' life's perplexing road:
+     The mists of error to controul,
+     And thro' its gloom direct my soul
+        To happiness and good.
+
+     XVI.
+     Beneath her clear discerning eye
+     The visionary shadows fly
+        Of Folly's painted show.
+     She sees thro' ev'ry fair disguise,
+     That all but Virtue's solid joys,
+        Is vanity and woe.
+
+[Facsimile of the music to "The Ode to Wisdom" (verse 14).]
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XI
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE FRIDAY MIDNIGHT.
+
+
+I have now a calmer moment. Envy, ambition, high and selfish resentment,
+and all the violent passions, are now, most probably, asleep all around
+me; and shall now my own angry ones give way to the silent hour, and
+subside likewise?--They have given way to it; and I have made use of
+the gentler space to re-peruse your last letters. I will touch upon
+some passages in them. And that I may the less endanger the but-just
+recovered calm, I will begin with what you write about Mr. Hickman.
+
+Give me leave to say, That I am sorry you cannot yet persuade yourself
+to think better, that is to say, more justly, of that gentleman, than
+your whimsical picture of him shews you so; or, at least, than the
+humourousness of your natural vein would make one think you do.
+
+I do not imagine, that you yourself will say, he sat for the picture
+you have drawn. And yet, upon the whole, it is not greatly to his
+disadvantage. Were I at ease in my mind, I would venture to draw a much
+more amiable and just likeness.
+
+If Mr. Hickman has not that assurance which some men have, he has that
+humility and gentleness which many want: and which, with the infinite
+value he has for you, will make him one of the fittest husbands in the
+world for a person of your vivacity and spirit.
+
+Although you say I would not like him myself, I do assure you, if Mr.
+Solmes were such a man as Mr. Hickman, in person, mind, and behaviour,
+my friends and I had never disagreed about him, if they would not have
+permitted me to live single; Mr. Lovelace (having such a character as
+he has) would have stood no chance with me. This I can the more boldly
+aver, because I plainly perceive, that of the two passions, love
+and fear, this man will be able to inspire one with a much greater
+proportion of the latter, than I imagine is compatible with the former,
+to make a happy marriage.
+
+I am glad you own, that you like no one better than Mr. Hickman. In a
+little while, I make no doubt, you will be able, if you challenge
+your heart upon it, to acknowledge, that you like not any man so well:
+especially, when you come to consider, that the very faults you find in
+Mr. Hickman, admirably fit him to make you happy: that is to say, if it
+be necessary to your happiness, that you should have your own will in
+every thing.
+
+But let me add one thing: and that is this:--You have such a sprightly
+turn, that, with your admirable talents, you would make any man in the
+world, who loved you, look like a fool, except he were such a one as
+Lovelace.
+
+Forgive me, my dear, for my frankness: and forgive me, also, for so soon
+returning to subject so immediately relative to myself, as those I now
+must touch upon.
+
+You again insist (strengthened by Mr. Lovelace's opinion) upon my
+assuming my own estate [I cannot call it resuming, having never been
+in possession of it]: and I have given you room to expect, that I will
+consider this subject more closely than I have done before. I must
+however own, that the reasons which I had to offer against taking
+your advice were so obvious, that I thought you would have seen
+them yourself, and been determined by them, against your own hastier
+counsel.--But since this has not been so, and that both you and Mr.
+Lovelace call upon me to assume my own estate, I will enter briefly into
+the subject.
+
+In the first place, let me ask you, my dear, supposing I were inclined
+to follow your advice, Whom have I to support me in my demand? My uncle
+Harlowe is one of my trustees--he is against me. My cousin Morden is the
+other--he is in Italy, and very probably may be set against me too.
+My brother has declared, that they are resolved to carry their points
+before he arrives: so that, as they drive on, all will probably be
+decided before I can have an answer from him, were I to write: and,
+confined as I am, were the answer to come in time, and they did not like
+it, they would keep it from me.
+
+In the next place, parents have great advantages in every eye over the
+child, if she dispute their pleasure in the disposing of her: and so
+they ought; since out of twenty instances, perhaps two could not be
+produced, when they were not in the right, the child in the wrong.
+
+You would not, I am sure, have me accept of Mr. Lovelace's offered
+assistance in such a claim. If I would embrace any other person's, who
+else would care to appear for a child against parents, ever, till of
+late, so affectionate?==But were such a protector to be found, what a
+length of time would it take up in a course of litigation! The will and
+the deeds have flaws in them, they say. My brother sometimes talks
+of going to reside at The Grove: I suppose, with a design to make
+ejectments necessary, were I to offer at assuming; or, were I to marry
+Mr. Lovelace, in order to give him all the opposition and difficulty the
+law would help him to give.
+
+These cases I have put to myself, for argument-sake: but they are
+all out of the question, although any body were to be found who would
+espouse my cause: for I do assure you, I would sooner beg my bread, than
+litigate for my right with my father: since I am convinced, that whether
+the parent do his duty by the child or not, the child cannot be excused
+from doing hers to him. And to go to law with my father, what a
+sound has that! You will see, that I have mentioned my wish (as an
+alternative, and as a favour) to be permitted, if I must be put out of
+his house, to go thither: but not one step further can I go. And you see
+how this is resented.
+
+Upon the whole, then, what have I to hope for, but a change in my
+father's resolution?--And is there any probability of that; such an
+ascendancy as my brother and sister have obtained over every body;
+and such an interest to pursue the enmity they have now openly avowed
+against me?
+
+As to Mr. Lovelace's approbation of your assumption-scheme, I wonder not
+at. He very probably penetrates the difficulties I should have to bring
+it to effect, without his assistance. Were I to find myself as free as I
+would wish myself to be, perhaps Mr. Lovelace would stand a worse chance
+with me than his vanity may permit him to imagine; notwithstanding the
+pleasure you take in rallying me on his account. How know you, but
+all that appears to be specious and reasonable in his offers; such as,
+standing his chance for my favour, after I became independent, as I may
+call it [by which I mean no more, than to have the liberty of refusing
+for my husband a man whom it hurts me but to think of in that light];
+and such as his not visiting me but by my leave; and till Mr. Morden
+come; and till I am satisfied of his reformation;--How know you, I say,
+that he gives not himself these airs purely to stand better in your
+graces as well as mine, by offering of his own accord conditions which
+he must needs think would be insisted on, were the case to happen?
+
+Then am I utterly displeased with him. To threaten as he threatens; yet
+to pretend, that it is not to intimidate me; and to beg of you not to
+tell me, when he must know you would, and no doubt intended that you
+should, is so meanly artful!--The man must think he has a frightened
+fool to deal with.--I, to join hands with such a man of violence! my
+own brother the man whom he threatens!--And what has Mr. Solmes done to
+him?--Is he to be blamed, if he thinks a person would make a wife worth
+having, to endeavour to obtain her?--Oh that my friends would but
+leave me to my own way in this one point! For have I given the man
+encouragement sufficient to ground these threats upon? Were Mr. Solmes a
+man to whom I could but be indifferent, it might be found, that to have
+spirit, would very little answer the views of that spirit. It is my
+fortune to be treated as a fool by my brother: but Mr. Lovelace shall
+find--Yet I will let him know my mind; and then it will come with a
+better grace to your knowledge.
+
+Mean time, give me leave to tell you, that it goes against me, in my
+cooler moments, unnatural as my brother is to me, to have you, my dear,
+who are my other self, write such very severe reflections upon him, in
+relation to the advantage Lovelace had over him. He is not indeed your
+brother: but remember, that you write to his sister.--Upon my word, my
+dear Miss Howe, you dip your pen in gall whenever you are offended: and
+I am almost ready to question, whether I read some of your expressions
+against others of my relations as well as him, (although in my favour,)
+whether you are so thoroughly warranted to call other people to account
+for their warmth. Should we not be particularly careful to keep clear
+of the faults we censure?--And yet I am so angry both at my brother and
+sister, that I should not have taken this liberty with my dear friend,
+notwithstanding I know you never loved them, had you not made so light
+of so shocking a transaction where a brother's life was at stake: when
+his credit in the eye of the mischievous sex has received a still deeper
+wound than he personally sustained; and when a revival of the same
+wicked resentments (which may end more fatally) is threatened.
+
+His credit, I say, in the eye of the mischievous sex: Who is not
+warranted to call it so; when it is re (as the two libertines his
+companions gloried) to resolve never to give a challenge; and among whom
+duelling is so fashionable a part of brutal bravery, that the man of
+temper, who is, mostly, I believe, the truly brave man, is often at
+a loss so to behave as to avoid incurring either a mortal guilt, or a
+general contempt?
+
+To enlarge a little upon this subject, May we not infer, that those who
+would be guilty of throwing these contempts upon a man of temper, who
+would rather pass by a verbal injury, than to imbrue his hands in blood,
+know not the measure of true magnanimity? nor how much nobler it is to
+forgive, and even how much more manly to despise, than to resent, an
+injury? Were I a man, methinks, I should have too much scorn for a
+person, who could wilfully do me a mean wrong, to put a value upon his
+life, equal to what I put upon my own. What an absurdity, because a man
+had done me a small injury, that I should put it in his power (at least,
+to an equal risque) to do me, and those who love me, an irreparable
+one!--Were it not a wilful injury, nor avowed to be so, there could not
+be room for resentment.
+
+How willingly would I run away from myself, and what most concerns
+myself, if I could! This digression brings me back again to the occasion
+of it--and that to the impatience I was in, when I ended my last
+letter, for my situation is not altered. I renew, therefore, my former
+earnestness, as the new day approaches, and will bring with it perhaps
+new trials, that you will (as undivestedly as possible of favour or
+resentment) tell me what you would have me do:--for, if I am obliged to
+go to my uncle Antony's, all, I doubt, will be over with me. Yet how to
+avoid it--that's the difficulty!
+
+I shall deposit this the first thing. When you have it, lose no time, I
+pray you, to advise (lest it be too late)
+
+Your ever obliged CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XII
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE SATURDAY, MARCH 25.
+
+
+What can I advise you to do, my noble creature? Your merit is your
+crime. You can no more change your nature, than your persecutors can
+theirs. Your distress is owing to the vast disparity between you and
+them. What would you have of them? Do they not act in character?--And to
+whom? To an alien. You are not one of them. They have two dependencies
+in their hope to move you to compliance.--Upon their impenetrableness
+one [I'd give it a more proper name, if I dared]; the other, on the
+regard you have always had for your character, [Have they not heretofore
+owned as much?] and upon your apprehensions from that of Lovelace, which
+would discredit you, should you take any step by his means to extricate
+yourself. Then they know, that resentment and unpersuadableness are not
+natural to you; and that the anger they have wrought you up to, will
+subside, as all extraordinaries soon do; and that once married, you will
+make the best of it.
+
+But surely your father's son and eldest daughter have a view (by
+communicating to so narrow a soul all they know of your just aversion to
+him) to entail unhappiness for life upon you, were you to have the man
+who is already more nearly related to them, than ever he can be to you,
+although the shocking compulsion should take place.
+
+As to that wretch's perseverance, those only, who know not the man,
+will wonder at it. He has not the least delicacy. His principal view in
+marriage is not to the mind. How shall those beauties be valued, which
+cannot be comprehended? Were you to be his, and shew a visible want of
+tenderness to him, it is my opinion, he would not be much concerned at
+it. I have heard you well observe, from your Mrs. Norton, That a person
+who has any over-ruling passion, will compound by giving up twenty
+secondary or under-satisfactions, though more laudable ones, in order to
+have that gratified.
+
+I'll give you the substance of a conversation [no fear you can be made
+to like him worse than you do already] that passed between Sir Harry
+Downeton and this Solmes, but three days ago, as Sir Harry told it but
+yesterday to my mother and me. It will confirm to you that what your
+sister's insolent Betty reported he should say, of governing by fear,
+was not of her own head.
+
+Sir Harry told her, he wondered he should wish to obtain you so much
+against you inclination as every body knew it would be, if he did.
+
+He matter'd not that, he said: coy maids made the fondest wives: [A
+sorry fellow!] It would not at all grieve him to see a pretty woman make
+wry faces, if she gave him cause to vex her. And your estate, by the
+convenience of its situation, would richly pay him for all he could bear
+with your shyness.
+
+He should be sure, he said, after a while, of your complaisance, if not
+of your love: and in that should be happier than nine parts in ten of
+his married acquaintance.
+
+What a wretch is this!
+
+For the rest, your known virtue would be as great a security to him, as
+he could wish for.
+
+She will look upon you, said Sir Harry, if she be forced to marry you,
+as Elizabeth of France did upon Philip II. of Spain, when he received
+her on his frontiers as her husband, who was to have been but her
+father-in-law: that is, with fear and terror, rather than with
+complaisance and love: and you will perhaps be as surly to her, as that
+old monarch was to his young bride.
+
+Fear and terror, the wretch, the horrid wretch! said, looked pretty in
+a bride as well as in a wife: and, laughing, [yes, my dear, the hideous
+fellow laughed immoderately, as Sir Harry told us, when he said it,] it
+should be his care to perpetuate the occasion for that fear, if he could
+not think he had the love. And, truly, he was of opinion, that if
+LOVE and FEAR must be separated in matrimony, the man who made himself
+feared, fared best.
+
+If my eyes would carry with them the execution which the eyes of the
+basilisk are said to do, I would make it my first business to see this
+creature.
+
+My mother, however, says, it would be a prodigious merit in you, if you
+could get over your aversion to him. Where, asks she [as you have been
+asked before], is the praise-worthiness of obedience, if it be only paid
+in instance where we give up nothing?
+
+What a fatality, that you have no better an option--either a Scylla or a
+Charybdis.
+
+Were it not you, I should know how (barbarously as you are used) to
+advise you in a moment. But such a noble character to suffer from a
+(supposed) rashness and indiscretion of such a nature, would, as I have
+heretofore observed, be a wound to the sex.
+
+While I was in hope, that the asserting of your own independence would
+have helped you, I was pleased that you had one resource, as I thought.
+But now, that you have so well proved, that such a step would not avail
+you, I am entirely at a loss what to say.
+
+I will lay down my pen, and think.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I have considered, and considered again; but, I protest, I know no more
+what to say now, than before. Only this: That I am young, like yourself;
+and have a much weaker judgment, and stronger passions, than you have.
+
+I have heretofore said, that you have offered as much as you ought, in
+offering to live single. If you were never to marry, the estate they are
+so loth should go out of their name, would, in time, I suppose, revert
+to your brother: and he or his would have it, perhaps, much more
+certainly this way, than by the precarious reversions which Solmes makes
+them hope for. Have you put this into their odd heads, my dear?--The
+tyrant word AUTHORITY, as they use it, can be the only objection against
+this offer.
+
+One thing you must consider, that, if you leave your parents, your duty
+and love will not suffer you to justify yourself by an appeal against
+them; and so you'll have the world against you. And should Lovelace
+continue his wild life, and behave ungratefully to you, will not his
+baseness seem to justify their cruel treatment of you, as well as their
+dislike of him?
+
+May heaven direct you for the best!--I can only say, that for my own
+part, I would do any thing, go any where, rather than be compelled to
+marry the man I hate; and (were he such a man as Solmes) must always
+hate. Nor could I have borne what you have borne, if from father and
+uncles, not from brother and sister.
+
+My mother will have it, that after they have tried their utmost efforts
+to bring you into their measures, and find them ineffectual, they will
+recede. But I cannot say I am of her mind. She does not own, she has
+any authority for this, but her own conjecture. I should otherwise have
+hoped, that your uncle Antony and she had been in on one secret, and
+that favourable to you. Woe be to one of them at least [to you uncle to
+be sure I mean] if they should be in any other!
+
+You must, if possible, avoid being carried to that uncle's. The man, the
+parson, your brother and sister present!--They'll certainly there marry
+you to the wretch. Nor will your newly-raised spirit support you in your
+resistance on such an occasion. Your meekness will return; and you
+will have nothing for it but tears [tears despised by them all] and
+ineffectual appeals and lamentations: and these tears when the ceremony
+is profaned, you must suddenly dry up; and endeavour to dispose of
+yourself to such a humble frame of mind, as may induce your new-made
+lord to forgive all your past declarations of aversion.
+
+In short, my dear, you must then blandish him over with a confession,
+that all your past behaviour was maidenly reserve only: and it will be
+your part to convince him of the truth of his imprudent sarcasm, that
+the coyest maids make the fondest wives. Thus will you enter the state
+with a high sense of obligation to his forgiving goodness: and if you
+will not be kept to it by that fear, by which he proposes to govern, I
+am much mistaken.
+
+Yet, after all, I must leave the point undetermined, and only to be
+determined, as you find they recede from their avowed purpose, or
+resolve to remove you to your uncle Antony's. But I must repeat my
+wishes, that something may fall out, that neither of these men may call
+you his!--And may you live single, my dearest friend, till some man
+shall offer, that may be as worthy of you, as man can be!
+
+But yet, methinks, I would not, that you, who are so admirably qualified
+to adorn the married state, should be always single. You know I am
+incapable of flattery; and that I always speak and write the sincerest
+dictates of my heart. Nor can you, from what you must know of your
+own merit (taken only in a comparative light with others) doubt my
+sincerity. For why should a person who delight to find out and admire
+every thing that is praise-worthy in another, be supposed ignorant of
+like perfections in herself, when she could not so much admire them in
+another, if she had them not herself? And why may not I give her those
+praises, which she would give to any other, who had but half of her
+excellencies?--Especially when she is incapable of pride and vain-glory;
+and neither despises others for the want of her fine qualities, nor
+overvalues herself upon them?--Over-values, did I say!--How can that be?
+
+Forgive me, my beloved friend. My admiration of you (increased, as it
+is, by every letter you write) will not always be held down in silence;
+although, in order to avoid offending you, I generally endeavour to keep
+it from flowing to my pen, when I write to you, or to my lips, whenever
+I have the happiness to be in your company.
+
+I will add nothing (though I could add a hundred things on account of
+your latest communications) but that I am
+
+Your ever affectionate and faithful ANNA HOWE.
+
+I hope I have pleased you with my dispatch. I wish I had been able to
+please you with my requested advice.
+
+You have given new beauties to the charming Ode which you have
+transmitted to me. What pity that the wretches you have to deal with,
+put you out of your admirable course; in the pursuit of which, like the
+sun, you was wont to cheer and illuminate all you shone upon!
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XIII
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE SUNDAY MORNING, MARCH 26.
+
+
+How soothing a thing is praise from those we love!--Whether conscious
+or not of deserving it, it cannot but give us great delight, to see
+ourselves stand high in the opinion of those whose favour we are
+ambitious to cultivate. An ingenuous mind will make this farther use of
+it, that if he be sensible that it does not already deserve the charming
+attributes, it will hasten (before its friend finds herself mistaken) to
+obtain the graces it is complimented for: and this it will do, as well
+in honour to itself, as to preserve its friend's opinion, and justify
+her judgment. May this be always my aim!--And then you will not only
+give the praise, but the merit; and I shall be more worthy of that
+friendship, which is the only pleasure I have to boast of.
+
+Most heartily I thank you for the kind dispatch of your last favour. How
+much am I indebted to you! and even to your honest servant!--Under what
+obligations does my unhappy situation lay me!
+
+But let me answer the kind contents of it, as well as I may.
+
+As to getting over my disgusts to Mr. Solmes, it is impossible to
+be done; while he wants generosity, frankness of heart, benevolence,
+manners and every qualification that distinguishes the worthy man. O my
+dear! what a degree of patience, what a greatness of soul, is required
+in the wife, not to despise a husband who is more ignorant, more
+illiterate, more low-minded than herself!--The wretch, vested with
+prerogatives, who will claim rule in virtue of them (and not to permit
+whose claim, will be as disgraceful to the prescribing wife as to the
+governed husband); How shall such a husband as this be borne, were he,
+for reasons of convenience and interest, even to be our CHOICE? But,
+to be compelled to have such a one, and that compulsion to arise from
+motives as unworthy of the prescribers as of the prescribed, who can
+think of getting over an aversion so justly founded? How much easier to
+bear the temporary persecutions I labour under, because temporary, than
+to resolve to be such a man's for life? Were I to comply, must I not
+leave my relations, and go to him? A month will decide the one, perhaps:
+But what a duration of woe will the other be!--Every day, it is likely,
+rising to witness to some new breach of an altar-vowed duty!
+
+Then, my dear, the man seems already to be meditating vengeance against
+me for an aversion I cannot help: for yesterday my saucy gaoleress
+assured me, that all my oppositions would not signify that pinch of
+snuff, holding out her genteel finger and thumb: that I must have Mr.
+Solmes: that therefore I had not best carry my jest too far; for that
+Mr. Solmes was a man of spirit, and had told HER, that as I should
+surely be his, I acted very unpolitely; since, if he had not more mercy
+[that was her word, I know not if it were his] than I had, I might have
+cause to repent the usage I gave him to the last day of my life. But
+enough of this man; who, by what you repeat from Sir Harry Downeton,
+has all the insolence of his sex, without any one quality to make that
+insolence tolerable.
+
+I have receive two letters from Mr. Lovelace, since his visit to you;
+which make three that I have not answered. I doubt not his being very
+uneasy; but in his last he complains in high terms of my silence; not
+in the still small voice, or rather style of an humble lover, but in a
+style like that which would probably be used by a slighted protector.
+And his pride is again touched, that like a thief, or eves-dropper, he
+is forced to dodge about in hopes of a letter, and returns five miles
+(and then to an inconvenient lodging) without any.
+
+His letters and the copy of mine to him, shall soon attend you. Till
+when, I will give you the substance of what I wrote him yesterday.
+
+I take him severely to task for his freedom in threatening me, through
+you, with a visit to Mr. Solmes, or to my brother. I say, 'That, surely,
+I must be thought to be a creature fit to bear any thing; that violence
+and menaces from some of my own family are not enough for me to bear, in
+order to make me avoid him; but that I must have them from him too, if
+I oblige those to whom it is both my inclination and duty to oblige in
+every thing that is reasonable, and in my power.
+
+'Very extraordinary, I tell him, that a violent spirit shall threaten to
+do a rash and unjustifiable thing, which concerns me but a little, and
+himself a great deal, if I do not something as rash, my character and
+sex considered, to divert him from it.
+
+'I even hint, that, however it would affect me, were any mischief to
+happen on my own account, yet there are persons, as far as I know, who
+in my case would not think there would be reason for much regret, were
+such a committed rashness as he threatens Mr. Solmes with, to rid her of
+two persons whom, had she never known, she had never been unhappy.'
+
+This is plain-dealing, my dear: and I suppose he will put it into still
+plainer English for me.
+
+I take his pride to task, on his disdaining to watch for my letters; and
+for his eves-dropping language: and say, 'That, surely, he has the less
+reason to think so hardly of his situation; since his faulty morals
+are the cause of all; and since faulty morals deservedly level all
+distinction, and bring down rank and birth to the canaille, and to the
+necessity which he so much regrets, of appearing (if I must descent to
+his language) as an eves-dropper and a thief. And then I forbid him
+ever to expect another letter from me that is to subject him to such
+disgraceful hardships.
+
+'As to the solemn vows and protestations he is so ready, upon all
+occasions, to make, they have the less weight with me, I tell him,
+as they give a kind of demonstration, that he himself, from his own
+character, thinks there is reason to make them. Deeds are to me the
+only evidence of intentions. And I am more and more convinced of
+the necessity of breaking off a correspondence with a person, whose
+addresses I see it is impossible either to expect my friends to
+encourage, or him to appear to wish that they should think him worthy of
+encouragement.
+
+'What therefore I repeatedly desire is, That since his birth, alliances,
+and expectations, are such as will at any time, if his immoral character
+be not an objection, procure him at least equal advantages in a woman
+whose taste and inclinations moreover might be better adapted to
+his own; I insist upon it, as well as advise it, that he give up all
+thoughts of me: and the rather, as he has all along (by his threatening
+and unpolite behaviour to my friends, and whenever he speaks of them)
+given me reason to conclude, that there is more malice in them, than
+regard to me, in his perseverance.'
+
+This is the substance of the letter I have written to him.
+
+The man, to be sure, must have the penetration to observe, that my
+correspondence with him hitherto is owing more to the severity I meet
+with, than to a very high value for him. And so I would have him think.
+What a worse than moloch deity is that, which expects an offering of
+reason, duty, and discretion, to be made to its shrine!
+
+Your mother is of opinion, you say, that at last my friends will relent.
+Heaven grant that they may!--But my brother and sister have such an
+influence over every body, and are so determined; so pique themselves
+upon subduing me, and carrying their point; that I despair that they
+will. And yet, if they do not, I frankly own, I would not scruple to
+throw myself upon any not disreputable protection, by which I might
+avoid my present persecutions, on one hand, and not give Mr. Lovelace
+advantage over me, on the other--that is to say, were there manifestly
+no other way left me: for, if there were, I should think the leaving my
+father's house, without his consent, one of the most inexcusable actions
+I could be guilty of, were the protection to be ever so unexceptionable;
+and this notwithstanding the independent fortune willed me by my
+grandfather. And indeed I have often reflected with a degree of
+indignation and disdain, upon the thoughts of what a low, selfish
+creature that child must be, who is to be reined in only by the hopes of
+what a parent can or will do for her.
+
+But notwithstanding all this, I owe it to the sincerity of friendship to
+confess, that I know not what I should have done, had your advice been
+conclusive any way. Had you, my dear, been witness to my different
+emotions, as I read your letter, when, in one place, you advise me of
+my danger, if I am carried to my uncle's; in another, when you own you
+could not bear what I bear, and would do any thing rather than marry
+the man you hate; yet, in another, to represent to me my reputation
+suffering in the world's eye; and the necessity I should be under to
+justify my conduct, at the expense of my friends, were I to take a rash
+step; in another, insinuate the dishonest figure I should be forced to
+make, in so compelled a matrimony; endeavouring to cajole, fawn upon,
+and play the hypocrite with a man to whom I have an aversion; who would
+have reason to believe me an hypocrite, as well from my former avowals,
+as from the sense he must have (if common sense he has) of his own
+demerits; the necessity you think there would be for me, the more averse
+(were I capable of so much dissimulation) that would be imputable to
+disgraceful motives; as it would be too visible, that love, either of
+person or mind, could be neither of them: then his undoubted, his even
+constitutional narrowness: his too probably jealousy, and unforgiveness,
+bearing in my mind my declared aversion, and the unfeigned despights I
+took all opportunities to do him, in order to discourage his address:
+a preference avowed against him from the same motive; with the pride he
+professes to take in curbing and sinking the spirits of a woman he had
+acquired a right to tyrannize over: had you, I say, been witness of
+my different emotions as I read; now leaning this way, now that; now
+perplexed; now apprehensive; now angry at one, then at another; now
+resolving; now doubting; you would have seen the power you have over me;
+and would have had reason to believe, that, had you given your advice
+in any determined or positive manner, I had been ready to have
+been concluded by it. So, my dear, you will find, from these
+acknowledgements, that you must justify me to those laws of friendship,
+which require undisguised frankness of heart; although you justification
+of me in that particular, will perhaps be at the expense of my prudence.
+
+But, upon the whole, this I do repeat--That nothing but the last
+extremity shall make me abandon my father's house, if they will permit
+me to stay; and if I can, by any means, by any honest pretences, but
+keep off my evil destiny in it till my cousin Morden arrives. As one
+of my trustees, his is a protection, into which I may without discredit
+throw myself, if my other friends should remain determined. And this
+(although they seem too well aware of it) is all my hope: for, as
+to Lovelace, were I to be sure of his tenderness, and even of his
+reformation, must not the thought of embracing the offered protection of
+his family, be the same thing, in the world's eye, as accepting of his
+own?--Could I avoid receiving his visits at his own relations'? Must I
+not be his, whatever, (on seeing him in a nearer light,) I should find
+him out to be? For you know, it has always been my observation, that
+very few people in courtship see each other as they are. Oh! my dear!
+how wise have I endeavoured to be! How anxious to choose, and to avoid
+every thing, precautiously, as I may say, that might make me happy,
+or unhappy; yet all my wisdom now, by a strange fatality, is likely to
+become foolishness!
+
+Then you tell me, in your usual kindly-partial manner, what is expected
+of me, more than would be of some others. This should be a lesson to me.
+What ever my motives were, the world would not know them. To complain
+of a brother's unkindness, that, indeed, I might do. Differences between
+brothers and sisters, where interests clash, but too commonly arise:
+but, where the severe father cannot be separated from the faulty
+brother, who could bear to lighten herself, by loading a father?--Then,
+in this particular case, must not the hatred Mr. Lovelace expresses
+to every one of my family (although in return for their hatred of
+him) shock one extremely? Must it not shew, that there is something
+implacable, as well as highly unpolite in his temper?--And what creature
+can think of marrying so as to be out of all hopes ever to be well with
+her own nearest and tenderest relations?
+
+But here, having tired myself, and I dare say you, I will lay down my
+pen.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+Mr. Solmes is almost continually here: so is my aunt Hervey: so are my
+two uncles. Something is working against me, I doubt. What an uneasy
+state is suspense!--When a naked sword, too, seems hanging over one's
+head!
+
+I hear nothing but what this confident creature Betty throws out in
+the wantonness of office. Now it is, Why, Miss, don't you look up your
+things? You'll be called upon, depend upon it, before you are aware.
+Another time she intimates darkly, and in broken sentences, (as if on
+purpose to tease me,) what one says, what another; with their inquiries
+how I dispose of my time? And my brother's insolent question comes
+frequently in, Whether I am not writing a history of my sufferings?
+
+But I am now used to her pertness: and as it is only through that that
+I can hear of any thing intended against me, before it is to be put in
+execution; and as, when she is most impertinent, she pleads a commission
+for it; I bear with her: yet, now-and-then, not without a little of the
+heart-burn.
+
+I will deposit thus far. Adieu, my dear. CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+Written on the cover, after she went down, with a pencil:
+
+On coming down, I found your second letter of yesterday's date.* I
+have read it; and am in hopes that the enclosed will in a great measure
+answer your mother's expectations of me.
+
+
+     * See the next letter.
+
+
+My most respectful acknowledgements to her for it, and for her very kind
+admonitions.
+
+You'll read to her what you please of the enclosed.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XIV
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE SAT. MARCH 25.
+
+
+I follow my last of this date by command. I mentioned in my former my
+mother's opinion of the merit you would have, if you could oblige your
+friends against your own inclination. Our conference upon this subject
+was introduced by the conversation we had had with Sir Harry Downeton;
+and my mother thinks it of so much importance, that she enjoins me to
+give you the particulars of it. I the rather comply, as I was unable in
+my last to tell what to advise you to; and as you will in this recital
+have my mother's opinion at least, and, perhaps, in hers what the
+world's would be, were it only to know what she knows, and not so much
+as I know.
+
+My mother argues upon this case in a most discouraging manner for all
+such of our sex as look forward for happiness in marriage with the man
+of their choice.
+
+Only, that I know, she has a side-view of her daughter; who, at the
+same time that she now prefers no one to another, values not the man her
+mother most regards, of one farthing; or I should lay it more to heart.
+
+What is there in it, says she, that all this bustle is about? Is it such
+a mighty matter for a young woman to give up her inclinations to oblige
+her friends?
+
+Very well, my mamma, thought I! Now, may you ask this--at FORTY, you
+may. But what would you have said at EIGHTEEN, is the question?
+
+Either, said she, the lady must be thought to have very violent
+inclinations [And what nice young creature would have that supposed?]
+which she could not give up; or a very stubborn will, which she would
+not; or, thirdly, have parents she was indifferent about obliging.
+
+You know my mother now-and-then argues very notably; always very warmly
+at least. I happen often to differ from her; and we both think so well
+of our own arguments, that we very seldom are so happy as to convince
+one another. A pretty common case, I believe, in all vehement debatings.
+She says, I am too witty; Angelice, too pert: I, That she is too wise;
+that is to say, being likewise put into English, not so young as she has
+been: in short, is grown so much into mother, that she has forgotten
+she ever was a daughter. So, generally, we call another cause by
+consent--yet fall into the old one half a dozen times over, without
+consent--quitting and resuming, with half-angry faces, forced into a
+smile, that there might be some room to piece together again: but go
+a-bed, if bedtime, a little sullen nevertheless: or, if we speak, her
+silence is broken with an Ah! Nancy! You are so lively! so quick! I wish
+you were less like your papa, child!
+
+I pay it off with thinking, that my mother has no reason to disclaim her
+share in her Nancy: and if the matter go off with greater severity on
+her side than I wish for, then her favourite Hickman fares the worse for
+it next day.
+
+I know I am a saucy creature. I know, if I do not say so, you will think
+so. So no more of this just now. What I mention it for, is to tell you,
+that on this serious occasion I will omit, if I can, all that passed
+between us, that had an air of flippancy on my part, or quickness on my
+mother's, to let you into the cool and cogent of the conversation.
+
+'Look through the families, said she, which we both know, where the man
+and the woman have been said to marry for love; which (at the time it
+is so called) is perhaps no more than a passion begun in folly or
+thoughtlessness, and carried on from a spirit of perverseness and
+opposition [here we had a parenthetical debate, which I omit]; and see,
+if they appear to be happier than those whose principal inducement to
+marry has been convenience, or to oblige their friends; or ever whether
+they are generally so happy: for convenience and duty, where observed,
+will afford a permanent and even an increasing satisfaction (as well
+at the time, as upon the reflection) which seldom fail to reward
+themselves: while love, if love be the motive, is an idle passion' [idle
+in ONE SENSE my mother cannot say; for love is as busy as a monkey, and
+as mischievous as a school-boy]--'it is a fervour, that, like all other
+fervours, lasts but a little while after marriage; a bow overstrained,
+that soon returns to its natural bent.
+
+'As it is founded generally upon mere notional excellencies, which
+were unknown to the persons themselves till attributed to either by the
+other; one, two, or three months, usually sets all right on both sides;
+and then with opened eyes they think of each other--just as every body
+else thought of them before.
+
+'The lovers imaginaries [her own notable word!] are by that time gone
+off; nature and old habits (painfully dispensed with or concealed)
+return: disguises thrown aside, all the moles, freckles, and defects in
+the minds of each discover themselves; and 'tis well if each do not sink
+in the opinion of the other, as much below the common standard, as the
+blinded imagination of both had set them above it. And now, said she,
+the fond pair, who knew no felicity out of each other's company, are
+so far from finding the never-ending variety each had proposed in
+an unrestrained conversation with the other (when they seldom were
+together; and always parted with something to say; or, on recollection,
+when parted, wishing they had said); that they are continually on the
+wing in pursuit of amusements out of themselves; and those, concluded my
+sage mamma, [Did you think her wisdom so very modern?] will perhaps be
+the livelier to each, in which the other has no share.'
+
+I told my mother, that if you were to take any rash step, it would be
+owing to the indiscreet violence of your friends. I was afraid, I said,
+that these reflection upon the conduct of people in the married state,
+who might set out with better hopes, were but too well grounded: but
+that this must be allowed me, that if children weighed not these matters
+so thoroughly as they ought, neither did parents make those allowances
+for youth, inclination, and inexperience, which had been found necessary
+to be made for themselves at their children's time of life.
+
+I remembered a letter, I told her, hereupon, which you wrote a few
+months ago, personating an anonymous elderly lady (in Mr. Wyerley's
+day of plaguing you) to Miss Drayton's mother, who, by her severity and
+restraints, had like to have driven the young lady into the very fault
+against which her mother was most solicitous to guard her. And I dared
+to say, she would be pleased with it.
+
+I fetched the first draught of it, which at my request you obliged me
+at the time; and read the whole letter to my mother. But the following
+passage she made me read twice. I think you once told me you had not a
+copy of this letter.
+
+'Permit me, Madam, [says the personated grave writer,] to observe, That
+if persons of your experience would have young people look forward, in
+order to be wiser and better by their advice, it would be kind in them
+to look backward, and allow for their children's youth, and natural
+vivacity; in other words, for their lively hopes, unabated by time,
+unaccompanied by reflection, and unchecked by disappointment. Things
+appear to us all in a very different light at our entrance upon
+a favourite party, or tour; when, with golden prospects, and high
+expectations, we rise vigorous and fresh like the sun beginning its
+morning course; from what they do, when we sit down at the end of our
+views, tired, and preparing for our journey homeward: for then we take
+into our reflection, what we had left out in prospect, the fatigues,
+the checks, the hazards, we had met with; and make a true estimate of
+pleasures, which from our raised expectations must necessarily have
+fallen miserably short of what we had promised ourselves at setting out.
+Nothing but experience can give us a strong and efficacious conviction
+of this difference: and when we would inculcate the fruits of that upon
+the minds of those we love, who have not lived long enough to find those
+fruits; and would hope, that our advice should have as much force upon
+them, as experience has upon us; and which, perhaps, our parents' advice
+had not upon ourselves, at our daughter' time of life; should we not
+proceed by patient reasoning and gentleness, that we may not harden,
+where we would convince? For, Madam, the tenderest and most generous
+minds, when harshly treated, become generally the most inflexible. If
+the young lady knows her heart to be right, however defective her
+head may be for want of age and experience, she will be apt to be very
+tenacious. And if she believes her friends to be wrong, although perhaps
+they may be only so in their methods of treating her, how much will
+every unkind circumstance on the parent's part, or heedless one on the
+child's, though ever so slight in itself, widen the difference! The
+parent's prejudice in disfavour, will confirm the daughter's in favour,
+of the same person; and the best reasonings in the world on either side,
+will be attributed to that prejudice. In short, neither of them will be
+convinced: a perpetual opposition ensues: the parent grows impatient;
+the child desperate: and, as a too natural consequence, that falls
+out which the mother was most afraid of, and which possibly had not
+happened, if the child's passions had been only led, not driven.'
+
+My mother was pleased with the whole letter; and said, It deserved to
+have the success it met with. But asked me what excuse could be offered
+for a young lady capable of making such reflections (and who at her time
+of life could so well assume the character of one of riper years) if she
+should rush into any fatal mistake herself?
+
+She then touched upon the moral character of Mr. Lovelace; and how
+reasonable the aversion of your reflections is to a man who gives
+himself the liberties he is said to take; and who indeed himself denies
+not the accusation; having been heard to declare, that he will do all
+the mischief he can to the sex, in revenge for the ill usage and
+broken vows of his first love, at a time when he was too young [his own
+expression it seems] to be insincere.
+
+I replied, that I had heard every one say, that the lady meant really
+used him ill; that it affected him so much at the time, that he was
+forced to travel upon it; and to drive her out of his heart, ran into
+courses which he had ingenuousness enough himself to condemn: that,
+however, he had denied that he had thrown out such menaces against the
+sex when charged with them by me in your presence; and declared himself
+incapable of so unjust and ungenerous a resentment against all, for the
+perfidy of one.
+
+You remember this, my dear, as I do your innocent observation upon it,
+that you could believe his solemn asseveration and denial: 'For surely,
+said you, the man who would resent, as the highest indignity that could
+be offered to a gentleman, the imputation of a wilful falsehood, would
+not be guilty of one.'
+
+I insisted upon the extraordinary circumstances in your case;
+particularizing them. I took notice, that Mr. Lovelace's morals were at
+one time no objection with your relations for Arabella: that then much
+was built upon his family, and more upon his part and learning, which
+made it out of doubt, that he might be reclaimed by a woman of virtue
+and prudence: and [pray forgive me for mentioning it] I ventured to
+add, that although your family might be good sort of folks, as the world
+went, yet no body but you imputed to any of them a very punctilious
+concern for religion or piety--therefore were they the less entitled to
+object to defect of that kind in others. Then, what an odious man, said
+I, have they picked out, to supplant in a lady's affections one of the
+finest figures of a man, and one noted for his brilliant parts, and
+other accomplishments, whatever his morals may be!
+
+Still my mother insisted, that there was the greater merit in your
+obedience on that account; and urged, that there hardly ever was a very
+handsome and a very sprightly man who made a tender and affectionate
+husband: for that they were generally such Narcissus's, as to imagine
+every woman ought to think as highly of them, as they did of themselves.
+
+There was no danger from that consideration here, I said, because the
+lady still had greater advantages of person and mind, than the man;
+graceful and elegant, as he must be allowed to be, beyond most of his
+sex.
+
+She cannot endure to hear me praise any man but her favourite Hickman;
+upon whom, nevertheless, she generally brings a degree of contempt which
+he would escape, did she not lessen the little merit he has, by giving
+him, on all occasions, more than I think he can deserve, and entering
+him into comparisons in which it is impossible but he must be a
+sufferer. And now [preposterous partiality!] she thought for her part,
+that Mr. Hickman, bating that his face indeed was not so smooth, nor his
+complexion quite so good, and saving that he was not so presuming and
+so bold (which ought to be no fault with a modest woman) equaled Mr.
+Lovelace at any hour of the day.
+
+To avoid entering further into such an incomparable comparison, I said,
+I did not believe, had they left you to your own way, and treated you
+generously, that you would have had the thought of encouraging any man
+whom they disliked--
+
+Then, Nancy, catching me up, the excuse is less--for if so, must there
+not be more of contradiction, than love, in the case?
+
+Not so, neither, Madam: for I know Miss Clarissa Harlowe would prefer
+Mr. Lovelace to all men, if morals--
+
+IF, Nancy!--That if is every thing.--Do you really think she loves Mr.
+Lovelace?
+
+What would you have had me say, my dear?--I won't tell you what I did
+say: But had I not said what I did, who would have believed me?
+
+Besides, I know you love him!--Excuse me, my dear: Yet, if you deny it,
+what do you but reflect upon yourself, as if you thought you ought not
+to allow yourself in what you cannot help doing?
+
+Indeed, Madam, said I, the man is worthy of any woman's love [if, again,
+I could say]--But her parents--
+
+Her parents, Nancy--[You know, my dear, how my mother, who accuses her
+daughter of quickness, is evermore interrupting one!]
+
+May take wrong measures, said I--
+
+Cannot do wrong--they have reason, I'll warrant, said she--
+
+By which they may provoke a young woman, said I, to do rash things,
+which otherwise she would not do.
+
+But, if it be a rash thing, [returned she,] should she do it? A prudent
+daughter will not wilfully err, because her parents err, if they were to
+err: if she do, the world which blames the parents, will not acquit the
+child. All that can be said, in extenuation of a daughter's error in
+this case, arises from a kind consideration, which Miss Clary's letter
+to Lady Drayton pleads for, to be paid to her daughter's youth and
+inexperience. And will such an admirable young person as Miss Clarissa
+Harlowe, whose prudence, as we see, qualifies her to be an advisor of
+persons much older than herself, take shelter under so poor a covert?
+
+Let her know, Nancy, out of hand, what I say; and I charge you to
+represent farther to her, That let he dislike one man and approve
+of another ever so much, it will be expected of a young lady of her
+unbounded generosity and greatness of mind, that she should deny herself
+when she can oblige all her family by so doing--no less than ten or a
+dozen perhaps the nearest and dearest to her of all the persons in the
+world, an indulgent father and mother at the head of them. It may be
+fancy only on her side; but parents look deeper: And will not Miss
+Clarissa Harlowe give up her fancy to her parents' judgment?
+
+I said a great deal upon this judgment subject: all that you could wish
+I should say; and all that your extraordinary case allowed me to say.
+And my mother was so sensible of the force of it, that she charged me
+not to write to you any part of my answer to what she said; but only
+what she herself had advanced; lest, in so critical a case, it should
+induce you to take measures which might give us both reason (me for
+giving it, you for following it) to repent it as long as we lived.
+
+And thus, my dear, have I set my mother's arguments before you. And the
+rather, as I cannot myself tell what to advise you to do--you know best
+your own heart; and what that will let you do.
+
+Robin undertakes to deposit this very early, that you may have an
+opportunity to receive it by your first morning airing.
+
+Heaven guide and direct you for the best, is the incessant prayer of
+
+Your ever affectionate ANNA HOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XV
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE SUNDAY AFTERNOON
+
+
+I am in great apprehension. Yet cannot help repeating my humble thanks
+to your mother and you for your last favour. I hope her kind end is
+answered by the contents of my last. Yet I must not think it enough to
+acknowledge her goodness to me, with a pencil only, on the cover of a
+letter sealed up. A few lines give me leave to write with regard to my
+anonymous letter to Lady Drayton. If I did not at that time tell you, as
+I believe I did, that my excellent Mrs. Norton gave me her assistance in
+that letter, I now acknowledge that she did.
+
+Pray let your mother know this, for two reasons: one, that I may not be
+thought to arrogate to myself a discretion which does not belong to me;
+the other, that I may not suffer by the severe, but just inference she
+was pleased to draw; doubling my faults upon me, if I myself should act
+unworthy of the advice I was supposed to give.
+
+Before I come to what most nearly affects us all, I must chide you once
+more, for the severe, the very severe things you mention of our family,
+to the disparagement of their MORALS. Indeed, my dear, I wonder at
+you!--A slighter occasion might have passed me, after I had written to
+you so often to so little purpose, on this topic. But, affecting as
+my own circumstances are, I cannot pass by, without animadversion, the
+reflection I need not repeat in words.
+
+There is not a worthier woman in England than my mother. Nor is my
+father that man you sometimes make him. Excepting in one point, I know
+not any family which lives more up to their duty, than the principals of
+ours. A little too uncommunicative for their great circumstances--that
+is all.--Why, then, have they not reason to insist upon unexceptionable
+morals in a man whose sought-for relationship to them, by a marriage
+in their family, they have certainly a right either to allow of, or to
+disallow.
+
+Another line or two, before I am engrossed by my own concerns--upon your
+treatment of Mr. Hickman. Is it, do you think, generous to revenge upon
+an innocent person, the displeasure you receive from another quarter,
+where, I doubt, you are a trespasser too?--But one thing I could tell
+him; and you have best not provoke me to it: It is this, That no woman
+uses ill the man she does not absolutely reject, but she has it in her
+heart to make him amends, when her tyranny has had its run, and he
+has completed the measure of his services and patience. My mind is not
+enough at ease to push this matter further.
+
+I will now give you the occasion of my present apprehensions.
+
+I had reason to fear, as I mentioned in mine of this morning, that a
+storm was brewing. Mr. Solmes came home from church this afternoon with
+my brother. Soon after, Betty brought me up a letter, without saying
+from whom. It was in a cover, and directed by a hand I never saw before;
+as if it were supposed that I would not receive and open it, had I known
+from whom it came.
+
+These are the contents:
+
+
+*****
+
+
+TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE SUNDAY, MARCH 26.
+
+DEAREST MADAM,
+
+I think myself a most unhappy man, in that I have never yet been able
+to pay my respects to you with youre consent, for one halfe-hour. I
+have something to communicat to you that concernes you much, if you be
+pleased to admit me to youre speech. Youre honour is concerned in it,
+and the honour of all youre familly. It relates to the designes of one
+whom you are sed to valew more than he desarves; and to some of his
+reprobat actions; which I am reddie to give you convincing proofes of
+the truth of. I may appear to be interested in it: but, neverthelesse,
+I am reddie to make oathe, that every tittle is true: and you will
+see what a man you are sed to favour. But I hope not so, for your owne
+honour.
+
+Pray, Madam, vouchsafe me a hearing, as you valew your honour and
+familly: which will oblidge, dearest Miss,
+
+Your most humble and most faithful servant, ROGER SOLMES.
+
+I wait below for the hope of admittance.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I have no manner of doubt, that this is a poor device to get this man
+into my company. I would have sent down a verbal answer; but Betty
+refused to carry any message, which should prohibit his visiting me. So
+I was obliged either to see him, or to write to him. I wrote therefore
+an answer, of which I shall send you the rough draught. And now my heart
+aches for what may follow from it; for I hear a great hurry below.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+TO ROGER SOLMES, ESQ.
+
+SIR,
+
+Whatever you have to communicate to me, which concerns my honour, may as
+well be done by writing as by word of mouth. If Mr. Lovelace is any
+of my concern, I know not that therefore he ought to be yours: for the
+usage I receive on your account [I must think it so!] is so harsh, that
+were there not such a man in the world as Mr. Lovelace, I would not wish
+to see Mr. Solmes, no, not for one half-hour, in the way he is pleased
+to be desirous to see me. I never can be in any danger from Mr.
+Lovelace, (and, of consequence, cannot be affected by any of your
+discoveries,) if the proposal I made be accepted. You have been
+acquainted with it no doubt. If not, be pleased to let my friends know,
+that if they will rid me of my apprehensions of one gentleman, I will
+rid them of their of another: And then, of what consequence to them, or
+to me, will it be, whether Mr. Lovelace be a good man, or a bad? And if
+not to them, nor to me, I see not how it can be of any to you. But if
+you do, I have nothing to say to that; and it will be a christian part
+if you will expostulate with him upon the errors you have discovered,
+and endeavour to make him as good a man, as, no doubt, you are yourself,
+or you would not be so ready to detect and expose him.
+
+Excuse me, Sir: but, after my former letter to you, and your ungenerous
+perseverance; and after this attempt to avail yourself at the expense of
+another man's character, rather than by your own proper merit; I see
+not that you can blame any asperity in her, whom you have so largely
+contributed to make unhappy.
+
+CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+SUNDAY NIGHT.
+
+My father was for coming up to me, in great wrath, it seems; but was
+persuaded to the contrary. My aunt Hervey was permitted to send me this
+that follow.--Quick work, my dear!
+
+
+TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE
+
+NIECE,
+
+Every body is now convinced, that nothing is to be done with you by way
+of gentleness or persuasion. Your mother will not permit you to stay in
+the house; for your father is so incensed by your strange letter to his
+friend, that she knows not what will be the consequence if you do. So,
+you are commanded to get ready to go to your uncle Antony's out of hand.
+
+Your uncle thinks he has not deserved of you such an unwillingness as
+you shew to go to his house.
+
+You don't know the wickedness of the man for whose sake you think it
+worth while to quarrel with all your friends.
+
+You must not answer me. There will be no end of that.
+
+You know not the affliction you give to every body; but to none more
+than to
+
+Your affectionate aunt, DOROTHY HERVEY.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+Forbid to write to my aunt, I took a bolder liberty. I wrote a few lines
+to my mother; beseeching her to procure me leave to throw myself at my
+father's feet, and hers, if I must go, (nobody else present,) to beg
+pardon for the trouble I had given them both, and their blessings; and
+to receive their commands as to my removal, and the time for it, from
+their own lips.
+
+'What new boldness this!--Take it back; and bid her learn to obey,' was
+my mother's angry answer, with my letter returned, unopened.
+
+But that I might omit nothing, that had an appearance of duty, I wrote
+a few lines to my father himself, to the same purpose; begging, that he
+would not turn me out of his house, without his blessing. But this, torn
+in two pieces, and unopened, was brought me up again by Betty, with an
+air, one hand held up, the other extended, the torn letter in her open
+palm; and a See here!--What a sad thing is this!--Nothing will do but
+duty, Miss!--Your papa said, Let her tell me of deeds!--I'll receive no
+words from her. And so he tore the letter, and flung the pieces at my
+head.
+
+So desperate was my case, I was resolved not to stop even at this
+repulse. I took my pen, and addressed myself to my uncle Harlowe,
+enclosing that which my mother had returned unopened, and the torn
+unopened one sent to my father; having first hurried off a transcript
+for you.
+
+My uncle was going home, and it was delivered to him just as he stepped
+into his chariot. What may be the fate of it therefore I cannot know
+till to-morrow.
+
+The following is a copy of it:
+
+
+TO JOHN HARLOWE, ESQ.
+
+MY DEAR AND EVER-HONOURED UNCLE,
+
+I have nobody now but you, to whom I can apply, with hope, so much as
+to have my humble addresses opened and read. My aunt Hervey has given me
+commands which I want to have explained; but she has forbid me writing
+to her. Hereupon I took the liberty to write to my father and mother.
+You will see, Sir, by the torn one, and by the other, (both unopened,)
+what has been the result. This, Sir, perhaps you already know: but, as
+you know not the contents of the disgraced letters, I beseech you to
+read them both, that you may be a witness for me, that they are not
+filled with either complaints or expostulations, nor contain any thing
+undutiful. Give me leave to say, Sir, that if deaf-eared anger will
+neither grant me a hearing, nor, what I write a perusal, some time hence
+the hard-heartedness may be regretted. I beseech you, dear, good Sir,
+to let me know what is meant by sending me to my uncle Antony's house,
+rather than to yours, or to my aunt Hervey's, or else-where? If it be
+for what I apprehend it to be, life will not be supportable upon the
+terms. I beg also to know, WHEN I am to be turned out of doors!--My
+heart strongly gives me, that if once I am compelled to leave this
+house, I never shall see it more.
+
+It becomes me, however, to declare, that I write not this through
+perverseness, or in resentment. God knows my heart, I do not! But the
+treatment I apprehend I shall meet with, if carried to my other uncle's,
+will, in all probability, give the finishing stroke to the distresses,
+the undeserved distresses I will be bold to call them, of
+
+Your once highly-favoured, but now unhappy, CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XVI
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE MONDAY MORNING, MARCH 27.
+
+
+This morning early my uncle Harlowe came hither. He sent up the enclosed
+very tender letter. It has made me wish I could oblige him. You will see
+how Mr. Solmes's ill qualities are glossed over in it. What blemishes
+dies affection hide!--But perhaps they may say to me, What faults does
+antipathy bring to light!
+
+Be pleased to send me back this letter of my uncle by the first return.
+
+
+SUNDAY NIGHT, OR RATHER MINDAY MORNING.
+
+I must answer you, though against my own resolution. Every body loves
+you; and you know they do. The very ground you walk upon is dear to most
+of us. But how can we resolve to see you? There is no standing against
+your looks and language. It is our loves makes us decline to see you.
+How can we, when you are resolved not to do what we are resolved you
+shall do? I never, for my part, loved any creature, as I loved you from
+your infancy till now. And indeed, as I have often said, never was there
+a young creature so deserving of our love. But what is come to you now!
+Alas! alas! my dear kinswoman, how you fail in the trial!
+
+I have read the letters you enclosed. At a proper time, I may shew them
+to my brother and sister: but they will receive nothing from you at
+present.
+
+For my part, I could not read your letter to me, without being unmanned.
+How can you be so unmoved yourself, yet so able to move every body
+else? How could you send such a letter to Mr. Solmes? Fie upon you! How
+strangely are you altered!
+
+Then to treat your brother and sister as you did, that they don't care
+to write to you, or to see you! Don't you know where it is written, That
+soft answers turn away wrath? But if you will trust to you sharp-pointed
+wit, you may wound. Yet a club will beat down a sword: And how can you
+expect that they who are hurt by you will not hurt you again? Was this
+the way you used to take to make us all adore you as we did?--No, it
+was your gentleness of heart and manners, that made every body, even
+strangers, at first sight, treat you as a lady, and call you a lady,
+though not born one, while your elder sister had no such distinctions
+paid her. If you were envied, why should you sharpen envy, and file up
+its teeth to an edge?--You see I write like an impartial man, and as one
+that loves you still.
+
+But since you have displayed your talents, and spared nobody, and moved
+every body, without being moved, you have but made us stand the closer
+and firmer together. This is what I likened to an embattled phalanx,
+once before. Your aunt Hervey forbids your writing for the same reason
+that I must not countenance it. We are all afraid to see you, because we
+know we shall be made as so many fools. Nay, your mother is so afraid
+of you, that once or twice, when she thought you were coming to force
+yourself into her presence, she shut the door, and locked herself in,
+because she knew she must not see you upon your terms, and you are
+resolved you will not see her upon hers.
+
+Resolves but to oblige us all, my dearest Miss Clary, and you shall see
+how we will clasp you every one by turns to our rejoicing hearts. If the
+one man has not the wit, and the parts, and the person, of the other, no
+one breathing has a worse heart than that other: and is not the love
+of all your friends, and a sober man (if he be not so polished) to be
+preferred to a debauchee, though ever so fine a man to look at? You have
+such talents that you will be adored by the one: but the other has as
+much advantage in those respects, as you have yourself, and will not set
+by them one straw: for husbands are sometimes jealous of their authority
+with witty wives. You will have in one, a man of virtue. Had you not
+been so rudely affronting to him, he would have made your ears tingle
+with what he could have told you of the other.
+
+Come, my dear niece, let me have the honour of doing with you what no
+body else yet has been able to do. Your father, mother, and I, will
+divide the pleasure, and the honour, I will again call it, between us;
+and all past offences shall be forgiven; and Mr. Solmes, we will engage,
+shall take nothing amiss hereafter, of what has passed.
+
+He knows, he says, what a jewel that man will have, who can obtain your
+favour; and he will think light of all he has suffered, or shall suffer,
+in obtaining you.
+
+Dear, sweet creature, oblige us: and oblige us with a grace. It must be
+done, whether with a grace or not. I do assure you it must. You must not
+conquer father, mother, uncles, every body: depend upon that.
+
+I have set up half the night to write this. You do not know how I
+am touched at reading yours, and writing this. Yet will I be at
+Harlowe-place early in the morning. So, upon reading this, if you will
+oblige us all, send me word to come up to your apartment: and I will
+lead you down, and present you to the embraces of every one: and you
+will then see, you have more of a brother and sister in them both, than
+of late your prejudices will let you think you have. This from one who
+used to love to style himself,
+
+Your paternal uncle, JOHN HARLOWE.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+In about an hour after this kind letter was given me, my uncle sent up
+to know, if he should be a welcome visiter, upon the terms mentioned in
+his letter? He bid Betty bring him down a verbal answer: a written one,
+he said, would be a bad sign: and he bid her therefore not to bring a
+letter. But I had just finished the enclosed transcription of one I had
+been writing. She made a difficulty to carry it; but was prevailed upon
+to oblige me by a token which these Mrs. Betty's cannot withstand.
+
+
+DEAR AND HONOURED SIR,
+
+How you rejoice me by your condescending goodness!--So kind, so paternal
+a letter!--so soothing to a wounded heart; and of late what I have been
+so little used to!--How am I affected with it! Tell me not, dear Sir, of
+my way of writing: your letter has more moved me, than I have been able
+to move any body!--It has made me wish, with all my heart, that I could
+entitle myself to be visited upon your own terms; and to be led down to
+my father and mother by so good and so kind an uncle.
+
+I will tell you, dearest Uncle, what I will do to make my peace. I have
+no doubt that Mr. Solmes, upon consideration, would greatly prefer my
+sister to such a strange averse creature as me. His chief, or one of his
+chief motives in his address to me, is, as I have reason to believe, the
+contiguity of my grandfather's estate to his own. I will resign it; for
+ever I will resign it: and the resignation must be good, because I will
+never marry at all. I will make it over to my sister, and her heirs for
+ever. I shall have no heirs, but my brother and her; and I will receive,
+as of my father's bounty, such an annuity (not in lieu of the estate,
+but as of his bounty) as he shall be pleased to grant me, if it be
+ever so small: and whenever I disoblige him, he to withdraw it, at his
+pleasure.
+
+Will this not be accepted?--Surely it must--surely it will!--I beg of
+you, dearest Sir, to propose it; and second it with your interest. This
+will answer every end. My sister has a high opinion of Mr. Solmes. I
+never can have any in the light he is proposed to me. But as my sister's
+husband, he will be always entitled to my respect; and shall have it.
+
+If this be accepted, grant me, Sir, the honour of a visit; and do me
+then the inexpressible pleasure of leading me down to the feet of my
+honoured parents, and they shall find me the most dutiful of children;
+and to the arms of my brother and sister, and they shall find me the
+most obliging and most affectionate of sisters.
+
+I wait, Sir, for your answer to this proposal, made with the whole heart
+of
+
+Your dutiful and most obliged niece, CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+MONDAY NOON.
+
+I hope this will be accepted: for Betty tells me, that my uncle Antony
+and my aunt Hervey are sent for; and not Mr. Solmes; which I look upon
+as a favourable circumstance. With what cheerfulness will I assign over
+this envied estate!--What a much more valuable consideration shall I
+part with it for!--The love and favour of all my relations! That love
+and favour, which I used for eighteen years together to rejoice in, and
+be distinguished by!--And what a charming pretence will this afford me
+of breaking with Mr. Lovelace! And how easily will it possibly make him
+to part with me!
+
+I found this morning, in the usual place, a letter from him, in answer,
+I suppose, to mine of Friday, which I deposited not till Saturday. But
+I have not opened it; nor will I, till I see what effect this new offer
+will have.
+
+Let me but be permitted to avoid the man I hate; and I will give up with
+cheerfulness the man I could prefer. To renounce the one, were I really
+to value him as much as you seem to imagine, can give but a temporary
+concern, which time and discretion will alleviate. This is a sacrifice
+which a child owes to parents and friends, if they insist upon its being
+made. But the other, to marry a man one cannot endure, is not only a
+dishonest thing, as to the man; but it is enough to make a creature who
+wishes to be a good wife, a bad or indifferent one, as I once wrote to
+the man himself: and then she can hardly be either a good mistress, or
+a good friend; or any thing but a discredit to her family, and a bad
+example to all around her.
+
+Methinks I am loth, in the suspense I am in at present, to deposit
+this, because it will be leaving you in one as great: but having been
+prevented by Betty's officiousness twice, I will now go down to my
+little poultry; and, if I have an opportunity, will leave it in the
+usual place, where I hope to find something from you.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XVII
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE MONDAY AFTERNOON, MARCH 27.
+
+
+I have deposited my narrative down to this day noon; but I hope soon to
+follow it with another letter, that I may keep you as little a while as
+possible in that suspense which I am so much affected by at this moment:
+for my heart is disturbed at ever foot I hear stir; and at every door
+below that I hear open or shut.
+
+They have been all assembled some time, and are in close debate I
+believe: But can there be room for long debate upon a proposal, which,
+if accepted, will so effectually answer all their views?--Can they
+insist a moment longer upon my having Mr. Solmes, when they see what
+sacrifices I am ready to make, to be freed from his addresses?--Oh! but
+I suppose the struggle is, first, with Bella's nicety, to persuade her
+to accept of the estate, and of the husband; and next, with her pride,
+to take her sister's refusals, as she once phrased it!--Or, it may
+be, my brother is insisting upon equivalents for his reversion in the
+estate: and these sort of things take up but too much the attention of
+some of our family. To these, no doubt, one or both, it must be owing,
+that my proposal admits of so much consideration.
+
+I want, methinks, to see what Mr. Lovelace, in his letter, says. But I
+will deny myself this piece of curiosity till that which is raised by my
+present suspense is answered.--Excuse me, my dear, that I thus trouble
+you with my uncertainties: but I have no employment, nor heart, if I
+had, to pursue any other but what my pen affords me.
+
+
+MONDAY EVENING.
+
+Would you believe it?--Betty, by anticipation, tells me, that I am to be
+refused. I am 'a vile, artful creature. Every body is too good to me.
+My uncle Harlowe has been taken in, that's the phrase. They know how
+it would be, if he either wrote to me, or saw me. He has, however, been
+made ashamed to be so wrought upon. A pretty thing truly in the eye of
+the world it would be, were they to take me at my word! It would look
+as if they had treated me thus hardly, as I think it, for this very
+purpose. My peculiars, particularly Miss Howe, would give it that
+turn; and I myself could mean nothing by it, but to see if it would be
+accepted in order to strengthen my own arguments against Mr. Solmes. It
+was amazing, that it could admit of a moment's deliberation: that any
+thing could be supposed to be done in it. It was equally against law and
+equity: and a fine security Miss Bella would have, or Mr. Solmes, when I
+could resume it when I would!--My brother and she my heirs! O the artful
+creature!--I to resolve to live single, when Lovelace is so sure of
+me--and every where declares as much!--and can whenever he pleases,
+if my husband, claim under the will!--Then the insolence--the
+confidence--[as Betty mincingly told me, that one said; you may easily
+guess who] that she, who was so justly in disgrace for downright
+rebellion, should pretend to prescribe to the whole family!--Should name
+a husband for her elder sister!--What a triumph would her obstinacy go
+away with, to delegate her commands, not as from a prison, as she called
+it, but as from her throne, to her elders and betters; and to her father
+and mother too!--Amazing, perfectly amazing, that any body could argue
+upon such a proposal as this! It was a master-stroke of finesse--It was
+ME in perfection!--Surely my uncle Harlowe will never again be so taken
+in!'
+
+All this was the readier told me, because it was against me, and would
+tease and vex me. But as some of this fine recapitulation implied, that
+somebody spoke up for me. I was curious to know who it was. But Betty
+would not tell me, for fear I should have the consolation to find that
+all were not against me.
+
+But do you not see, my dear, what a sad creature she is whom you honour
+with your friendship?--You could not doubt your influence over me: Why
+did you not take the friendly liberty I have always taken with you,
+and tell me my faults, and what a specious hypocrite I am? For, if my
+brother and sister could make such discoveries, how is it possible, that
+faults to enormous [you could see others, you thought, of a more secret
+nature!] could escape you penetrating eye?
+
+Well, but now, it seems, they are debating how and by whom to answer me:
+for they know not, nor are they to know, that Mrs. Betty has told me all
+these fine things. One desires to be excused, it seems: another chooses
+not to have any thing to say to me: another has enough of me: and of
+writing to so ready a scribbler, there will be no end.
+
+Thus are those imputed qualifications, which used so lately to gain me
+applause, now become my crimes: so much do disgust and anger alter the
+property of things.
+
+The result of their debate, I suppose, will somehow or other be
+communicated to me by-and-by. But let me tell you, my dear, that I am
+made so desperate, that I am afraid to open Mr. Lovelace's letter,
+lest, in the humour I am in, I should do something (if I find it not
+exceptionable) that may give me repentance as long as I live.
+
+
+MONDAY NIGHT.
+
+This moment the following letter is brought me by Betty.
+
+
+MONDAY, 5 O'CLOCK
+
+MISS CUNNING-ONE,
+
+Your fine new proposal is thought unworthy of a particular answer. Your
+uncle Harlowe is ashamed to be so taken in. Have you no new fetch for
+your uncle Antony? Go round with us, child, now your hand's in. But I
+was bid to write only one line, that you might not complain, as you
+did of your worthy sister, for the freedoms you provoked: It is
+this--Prepare yourself. To-morrow you go to my uncle Antony's. That's
+all, child.
+
+JAMES HARLOWE.
+
+
+I was vexed to the heart at this: and immediately, in the warmth of
+resentment, wrote the enclosed to my uncle Harlowe; who it seems stays
+here this night.
+
+
+TO JOHN HARLOWE, ESQ. MONDAY NIGHT.
+
+HONOURED SIR,
+
+I find I am a very sad creature, and did not know it. I wrote not to my
+brother. To you, Sir, I wrote. From you I hope the honour of an answer.
+No one reveres her uncle more than I do. Nevertheless, between uncle and
+niece, excludes not such a hope: and I think I have not made a proposal
+that deserves to be treated with scorn.
+
+Forgive me, Sir--my heart is full. Perhaps one day you may think you
+have been prevailed upon (for that is plainly the case!) to join to
+treat me--as I do not deserve to be treated. If you are ashamed, as my
+brother hints, of having expressed any returning tenderness to me, God
+help me! I see I have no mercy to expect from any body! But, Sir, from
+your pen let me have an answer; I humbly implore it of you. Till my
+brother can recollect what belongs to a sister, I will not take from him
+no answer to the letter I wrote to you, nor any commands whatever.
+
+I move every body!--This, Sir, is what you are pleased to mention. But
+whom have I moved?--One person in the family has more moving ways than I
+have, or he could never so undeservedly have made every body ashamed to
+show tenderness to a poor distressed child of the same family.
+
+Return me not this with contempt, or torn, or unanswered, I beseech you.
+My father has a title to do that or any thing by his child: but from no
+other person in the world of your sex, Sir, ought a young creature of
+mine (while she preserves a supplicating spirit) to be so treated.
+
+When what I have before written in the humblest strain has met with such
+strange constructions, I am afraid that this unguarded scrawl will be
+very ill received. But I beg, Sir, you will oblige me with one line, be
+it ever so harsh, in answer to my proposal. I still think it ought to
+be attended to. I will enter into the most solemn engagements to make it
+valid by a perpetual single life. In a word, any thing I can do, I will
+do, to be restored to all your favours. More I cannot say, but that I
+am, very undeservedly,
+
+A most unhappy creature.
+
+
+Betty scrupled again to carry this letter; and said, she should have
+anger; and I should have it returned in scraps and bits.
+
+I must take that chance, said I: I only desire that you will deliver it
+as directed.
+
+Sad doings! very sad! she said, that young ladies should so violently
+set themselves against their duty.
+
+I told her, she should have the liberty to say what she pleased, so she
+would but be my messenger that one time: and down she went with it.
+
+I bid her, if she could, slide it into my uncle's hand, unseen; at least
+unseen by my brother or sister, for fear it should meet, through their
+good office, with the fate she had bespoken for it.
+
+She would not undertake for that, she said.
+
+I am now in expectation of the result. But having so little ground to
+hope for their favour or mercy, I opened Mr. Lovelace's letter.
+
+I would send it to you, my dear (as well as those I shall enclose) by
+this conveyance; but not being able at present to determine in what
+manner I shall answer it, I will give myself the trouble of abstracting
+it here, while I am waiting for what may offer from the letter just
+carried down.
+
+'He laments, as usual, my ill opinion of him, and readiness to believe
+every thing to his disadvantage. He puts into plain English, as I
+supposed he would, my hint, that I might be happier, if, by any rashness
+he might be guilty of to Solmes, he should come to an untimely end
+himself.'
+
+He is concerned, he says, 'That the violence he had expressed on his
+extreme apprehensiveness of losing me, should have made him guilty of
+any thing I had so much reason to resent.'
+
+He owns, 'That he is passionate: all good-natured men, he says, are so;
+and a sincere man cannot hide it.' But appeals to me, 'Whether, if any
+occasion in the world could excuse the rashness of his expressions, it
+would not be his present dreadful situation, through my indifference,
+and the malice of his enemies.'
+
+He says, 'He has more reason than ever, from the contents of my last,
+to apprehend, that I shall be prevailed upon by force, if not by fair
+means, to fall in with my brother's measures; and sees but too plainly,
+that I am preparing him to expect it.
+
+'Upon this presumption, he supplicates, with the utmost earnestness,
+that I will not give way to the malice of his enemies.
+
+'Solemn vows of reformation, and everlasting truth and obligingness,
+he makes; all in the style of desponding humility: yet calls it a cruel
+turn upon him, to impute his protestations to a consciousness of the
+necessity there is for making them from his bad character.
+
+'He despises himself, he solemnly protests, for his past follies. He
+thanks God he has seen his error; and nothing but my more particular
+instructions is wanting to perfect his reformation.
+
+'He promises, that he will do every thing that I shall think he can do
+with honour, to bring about a reconciliation with my father; and even
+will, if I insist upon it, make the first overtures to my brother, and
+treat him as his own brother, because he is mine, if he will not by new
+affronts revive the remembrance of the past.
+
+'He begs, in the most earnest and humble manner, for one half-hour's
+interview; undertaking by a key, which he owns he has to the
+garden-door, leading into the coppice, as we call it, (if I will but
+unbolt the door,) to come into the garden at night, and wait till I have
+an opportunity to come to him, that he may re-assure me of the truth of
+all he writes, and of the affection, and, if needful, protection, of all
+his family.
+
+'He presumes not, he says, to write by way of menace to me; but if I
+refuse him this favour, he knows not (so desperate have some strokes in
+my letter made him) what his despair may make him do.'
+
+He asks me, 'Determined, as my friends are, and far as they have already
+gone, and declare they will go, what can I propose to do, to avoid
+having Mr. Solmes, if I am carried to my uncle Antony's; unless I
+resolve to accept of the protection he has offered to procure me; or
+except I will escape to London, or elsewhere, while I can escape?'
+
+He advises me, 'To sue to your mother, for her private reception of
+me; only till I can obtain possession of my own estate, and procure my
+friends to be reconciled to me; which he is sure they will be desirous
+to be, the moment I am out of their power.'
+
+He apprizes me, [It is still my wonder, how he comes by this
+intelligence!] 'That my friends have written to my cousin Morden to
+represent matters to him in their own partial way; nor doubt they to
+influence him on their side of the question.
+
+'That all this shews I have but one way; if none of my friends or
+intimates will receive me.
+
+'If I will transport him with the honour of my choice of this one way,
+settlements shall be drawn, with proper blanks, which I shall fill up as
+I pleased. Let him but have my commands from my own mouth, all my doubts
+and scruples from my own lips; and only a repetition, that I will not,
+on any consideration, be Solmes's wife; and he shall be easy. But, after
+such a letter as I have written, nothing but an interview can make him
+so.' He beseeches me therefore, 'To unbolt the door, as that very night;
+or, if I receive not this time enough, this night;--and he will, in a
+disguise that shall not give suspicion who he is, if he should be seen,
+come to the garden door, in hopes to open it with his key; nor will he
+have any other lodging than in the coppice both nights; watching every
+wakeful hour for the propitious unbolting, unless he has a letter with
+my orders to the contrary, or to make some other appointment.'
+
+This letter was dated yesterday: so he was there last night, I suppose;
+and will be there this night; and I have not written a line to him: and
+now it is too late, were I determined what to write.
+
+I hope he will not go to Mr. Solmes.--I hope he will not come
+hither.--If he do either, I will break with him for ever.
+
+What have I to do with these headstrong spirits? I wish I had never--but
+what signifies wishing?--I am strangely perplexed: but I need not have
+told you this, after such a representation of my situation.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XVII
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE TUESDAY MORNING, 7 O'CLOCK
+
+My uncle has vouchsafed to answer me. These that follow are the
+contents of his letter; but just now brought me, although written last
+night--late I suppose.
+
+
+MONDAY NIGHT.
+
+MISS CLARY,
+
+Since you are grown such a bold challenger, and teach us all our duty,
+though you will not practise your own, I must answer you. Nobody
+wants you estate from you. Are you, who refuse ever body's advice,
+to prescribe a husband to your sister? Your letter to Mr. Solmes is
+inexcusable. I blamed you for it before. Your parents will be obeyed. It
+is fit they should. Your mother has nevertheless prevailed to have your
+going to your uncle Antony's put off till Thursday: yet owns you deserve
+not that, or any other favour from her. I will receive no more of
+your letters. You are too artful for me. You are an ungrateful and
+unreasonable child: Must you have your way paramount to every body's?
+How are you altered.
+
+Your displeased uncle, JOHN HARLOWE.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+To be carried away on Thursday--To the moated house--To the chapel--To
+Solmes! How can I think of this!--They will make me desperate.
+
+
+TUESDAY MORNING, 8 O'CLOCK.
+
+I have another letter from Mr. Lovelace. I opened it with the
+expectation of its being filled with bold and free complaints, on my
+not writing to prevent his two nights watching, in weather not extremely
+agreeable. But, instead of complaints, he is 'full of tender concern
+lest I may have been prevented by indisposition, or by the closer
+confinement which he has frequently cautioned me that I may expect.'
+
+He says, 'He had been in different disguises loitering about our garden
+and park wall, all the day on Sunday last; and all Sunday night was
+wandering about the coppice, and near the back door. It rained; and he
+has got a great cold, attended with feverishness, and so hoarse, that he
+has almost lost his voice.'
+
+Why did he not flame out in his letter?--Treated as I am treated by my
+friends, it is dangerous to be laid under the sense of an obligation to
+an addresser's patience; especially when such a one suffers in health
+for my sake.
+
+'He had no shelter, he says, but under the great overgrown ivy, which
+spreads wildly round the heads of two or three oaklings; and that was
+soon wet through.'
+
+You remember the spot. You and I, my dear, once thought ourselves
+obliged to the natural shade which those ivy-covered oaklings afforded
+us, in a sultry day.
+
+I can't help saying, I am sorry he has suffered for my sake; but 'tis
+his own seeking.
+
+His letter is dated last night at eight: 'And, indisposed as he is,
+he tells me that he will watch till ten, in hopes of my giving him the
+meeting he so earnestly request. And after that, he has a mile to walk
+to his horse and servant; and four miles then to ride to his inn.'
+
+He owns, 'That he has an intelligencer in our family; who has failed
+him for a day or two past: and not knowing how I do, or how I may be
+treated, his anxiety is increased.'
+
+This circumstance gives me to guess who this intelligencer is: Joseph
+Leman: the very creature employed and confided in, more than any other,
+by my brother.
+
+This is not an honourable way of proceeding in Mr. Lovelace. Did
+he learn this infamous practice of corrupting the servants of other
+families at the French court, where he resided a good while?
+
+I have been often jealous of this Leman in my little airings and
+poultry-visits. Doubly obsequious as he was always to me, I have
+thought him my brother's spy upon me; and although he obliged me by
+his hastening out of the garden and poultry-yard, whenever I came into
+either, have wondered, that from his reports my liberties of those kinds
+have not been abridged.* So, possibly, this man may be bribed by both,
+yet betray both. Worthy views want not such obliquities as these on
+either side. An honest mind must rise into indignation both at the
+traitor-maker and the traitor.
+
+
+     * Mr. Lovelace accounts for this, Vol. I, Letter XXXV.
+
+
+'He presses with the utmost earnestness for an interview. He would not
+presume, he says, to disobey my last personal commands, that he should
+not endeavour to attend me again in the wood-house. But says, he can
+give me such reasons for my permitting him to wait upon my father
+or uncles, as he hopes will be approved by me: for he cannot help
+observing, that it is no more suitable to my own spirit than to his,
+that he, a man of fortune and family, should be obliged to pursue such a
+clandestine address, as would only become a vile fortune-hunter. But, if
+I will give my consent for his visiting me like a man, and a gentleman,
+no ill treatment shall provoke him to forfeit his temper.
+
+'Lord M. will accompany him, if I please: or Lady Betty Lawrance will
+first make the visit to my mother, or to my aunt Hervey, or even to my
+uncles, if I choose it. And such terms shall be offered, as shall have
+weight upon them.
+
+'He begs, that I will not deny him making a visit to Mr. Solmes. By
+all that's good, he vows, that it shall not be with the least intention
+either to hurt or affront him; but only to set before him, calmly and
+rationally, the consequences that may possibly flow from so fruitless a
+perseverance, as well as the ungenerous folly of it, to a mind as noble
+as mine. He repeats his own resolution to attend my pleasure, and Mr.
+Morden's arrival and advice, for the reward of his own patience.
+
+'It is impossible, he says, but one of these methods must do.
+Presence, he observes, even of a disliked person, takes off the edge of
+resentments which absence whets, and makes keen.
+
+'He therefore most earnestly repeats his importunities for the
+supplicated interview.' He says, 'He has business of consequence in
+London: but cannot stir from the inconvenient spot where he has for
+some time resided, in disguises unworthy of himself, until he can be
+absolutely certain, that I shall not be prevailed upon, either by force
+or otherwise; and until he finds me delivered from the insults of my
+brother. Nor ought this to be an indifferent point to one, for whose
+sake all the world reports me to be used unworthily. But one remark, he
+says, he cannot help making: that did my friends know the little favour
+I shew him, and the very great distance I keep him at, they would
+have no reason to confine me on his account. And another, that they
+themselves seem to think him entitled to a different usage, and expect
+that he receives it; when, in truth, what he meets with from me is
+exactly what they wish him to meet with, excepting in the favour of
+my correspondence I honour him with; upon which, he says, he puts the
+highest value, and for the sake of which he has submitted to a thousand
+indignities.
+
+'He renews his professions of reformation. He is convinced, he says,
+that he has already run a long and dangerous course; and that it is high
+time to think of returning. It must be from proper conviction, he says,
+that a person who has lived too gay a life, resolves to reclaim, before
+age or sufferings come upon him.
+
+'All generous spirits, he observes, hate compulsion. Upon this
+observation he dwells; but regrets, that he is likely to owe all his
+hopes to this compulsion; this injudicious compulsion, he justly calls
+it; and none to my esteem for him. Although he presumes upon some
+merit--in this implicit regard to my will--in the bearing the daily
+indignities offered not only to him, but to his relations, by my
+brother--in the nightly watchings, his present indisposition makes him
+mention, or he had not debased the nobleness of his passion for me, by
+such a selfish instance.'
+
+I cannot but say, I am sorry the man is not well.
+
+I am afraid to ask you, my dear, what you would have done, thus
+situated. But what I have done, I have done. In a word, I wrote, 'That
+I would, if possible, give him a meeting to-morrow night, between the
+hours of nine and twelve, by the ivy summer-house, or in it, or near the
+great cascade, at the bottom of the garden; and would unbolt the door,
+that he might come in by his own key. But that, if I found the meeting
+impracticable, or should change my mind, I would signify as much by
+another line; which he must wait for until it were dark.'
+
+
+TUESDAY, ELEVEN O'CLOCK.
+
+I am just returned from depositing my billet. How diligent is this man!
+It is plain he was in waiting: for I had walked but a few paces, after I
+had deposited it, when, my heart misgiving me, I returned, to have taken
+it back, in order to reconsider it as I walked, and whether I should or
+should not let it go. But I found it gone.
+
+In all probability, there was but a brick wall, of a few inches thick,
+between Mr. Lovelace and me, at the very time I put the letter under the
+brick!
+
+I am come back dissatisfied with myself. But I think, my dear, there
+can be no harm in meeting him. If I do not, he may take some violent
+measures. What he knows of the treatment I meet with in malice to him,
+and with the view to frustrate all his hopes, may make him desperate.
+His behaviour last time I saw him, under the disadvantages of time and
+place, and surprised as I was, gives me no apprehension of any thing but
+discovery. What he requires is not unreasonable, and cannot affect my
+future choice and determination: it is only to assure him from my own
+lips, that I never will be the wife of a man I hate. If I have not an
+opportunity to meet without hazard or detection, he must once more
+bear the disappointment. All his trouble, and mine too, is owing to his
+faulty character. This, although I hate tyranny and arrogance in all
+shapes, makes me think less of the risques he runs, and the fatigues he
+undergoes, than otherwise I should do; and still less, as my sufferings
+(derived from the same source) are greater than his.
+
+Betty confirms this intimation, that I must go to my uncle's on
+Thursday. She was sent on purpose to direct me to prepare myself for
+going, and to help me to get every thing up in order for my removal.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XIX
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE THURSDAY, THREE O'CLOCK, MARCH 28.
+
+
+I have mentioned several times the pertness of Mrs. Betty to me;
+and now, having a little time upon my hands, I will give you a short
+dialogue that passed just now between us. It may, perhaps, be a little
+relief to you from the dull subjects with which I am perpetually teasing
+you.
+
+As she attended me at dinner, she took notice, That Nature is satisfied
+with a very little nourishment: and thus she complimentally proved
+it--For, Miss, said she, you eat nothing; yet never looked more
+charmingly in your life.
+
+As to the former part of your speech, Betty, said I, you observe well;
+and I have often thought, when I have seen how healthy the children of
+the labouring poor look, and are, with empty stomachs, and hardly a good
+meal in a week, that God Almighty is very kind to his creatures, in this
+respect, as well as in all others in making much not necessary to the
+support of life; when three parts in four of His creatures, if it were,
+would not know how to obtain it. It puts me in mind of two proverbial
+sentences which are full of admirable meaning.
+
+What, pray, Miss, are they? I love to hear you talk, when you are so
+sedate as you seem now to be.
+
+The one is to the purpose we are speaking of: Poverty is the mother of
+health. And let me tell you, Betty, if I had a better appetite, and
+were to encourage it, with so little rest, and so much distress and
+persecution, I don't think I should be able to preserve my reason.
+
+There's no inconvenience but has its convenience, said Betty, giving me
+proverb for proverb. But what is the other, Madam?
+
+That the pleasures of the mighty are not obtained by the tears of the
+poor. It is but reasonable, therefore, methinks, that the plenty of
+the one should be followed by distempers; and that the indigence of the
+other should be attended with that health, which makes all its other
+discomforts light on the comparison. And hence a third proverb, Betty,
+since you are an admirer of proverbs: Better a hare-foot than none at
+all; that is to say, than not to be able to walk.
+
+She was mightily taken with what I said: See, returned she, what a fine
+thing scholarship is!--I, said she, had always, from a girl, a taste for
+reading, though it were but in Mother Goose, and concerning the fairies
+[and then she took genteelly a pinch of snuff]: could but my parents
+have let go as fast as I pulled, I should have been a very happy
+creature.
+
+Very likely, you would have made great improvements, Betty: but as it
+is, I cannot say, but since I had the favour of your attendance in this
+intimate manner, I have heard smarter things from you, than I have heard
+at table from some of my brother's fellow-collegians.
+
+Your servant, dear Miss; dropping me one of her best courtesies: so
+fine a judge as you are!--It is enough to make one very proud. Then with
+another pinch--I cannot indeed but say, bridling upon it, that I have
+heard famous scholars often and often say very silly things: things
+I should be ashamed myself to say; but I thought they did it out of
+humility, and in condescension to those who had not their learning.
+
+That she might not be too proud, I told her, I would observe, that the
+liveliness or quickness she so happily discovered in herself, was not
+so much an honour to her, as what she owed to her sex; which, as I had
+observed in many instances, had great advantages over the other, in all
+the powers that related to imagination. And hence, Mrs. Betty, you'll
+take notice, as I have of late had opportunity to do, that your own
+talent at repartee and smartness, when it has something to work upon,
+displays itself to more advantage, than could well be expected from one
+whose friends, to speak in your own phrase, could not let go so fast as
+you pulled.
+
+The wench gave me a proof of the truth of my observation, in a manner
+still more alert than I had expected: If, said she, our sex had so much
+advantage in smartness, it is the less to be wondered at, that you,
+Miss, who have had such an education, should outdo all the men and women
+too, that come near you.
+
+Bless me, Betty, said I, what a proof do you give me of your wit and
+your courage at the same time! This is outdoing yourself. It would make
+young ladies less proud, and more apprehensive, were they generally
+attended by such smart servants, and their mouths permitted to be
+unlocked upon them as yours has been lately upon me.--But, take away,
+Mrs. Betty.
+
+Why, Miss, you have eat nothing at all--I hope you are not displeased
+with your dinner for any thing I have said.
+
+No, Mrs. Betty, I am pretty well used to your freedoms now, you know.--I
+am not displeased in the main, to observe, that, were the succession of
+modern fine ladies to be extinct, it might be supplied from those whom
+they place in the next rank to themselves, their chamber-maids and
+confidants. Your young mistress has contributed a great deal to this
+quickness of yours. She always preferred your company to mine. As
+you pulled, she let go; and so, Mrs. Betty, you have gained by her
+conversation what I have lost.
+
+Why, Miss, if you come to that, nobody says better things than Miss
+Harlowe. I could tell you one, if I pleased, upon my observing to her,
+that you lived of late upon the air, and had no stomach to any thing;
+yet looked as charmingly as ever.
+
+I dare say, it was a very good-natured one, Mrs. Betty! Do you then
+please that I shall hear it?
+
+Only this, Miss, That your stomachfulness had swallowed up your stomach;
+and, That obstinacy was meat, drink, and clothes to you.
+
+Ay, Mrs. Betty; and did she say this?--I hope she laughed when she said
+it, as she does at all her good things, as she calls them. It was very
+smart, and very witty. I wish my mind were so much at ease, as to aim at
+being witty too. But if you admire such sententious sayings, I'll help
+you to another; and that is, Encouragement and approbation make people
+show talents they were never suspected to have; and this will do both
+for mistress and maid. And another I'll furnish you with, the
+contrary of the former, that will do only for me: That persecution and
+discouragement depress ingenuous minds, and blunt the edge of lively
+imaginations. And hence may my sister's brilliancy and my stupidity be
+both accounted for. Ingenuous, you must know, Mrs. Betty, and ingenious,
+are two things; and I would not arrogate the latter to myself.
+
+Lord, Miss, said the foolish girl, you know a great deal for your
+years.--You are a very learned young lady!--What pity--
+
+None of your pitties, Mrs. Betty, I know what you'd say. But tell me, if
+you can, Is it resolved that I shall be carried to my uncle Antony's on
+Thursday?
+
+I was willing to reward myself for the patience she had made me
+exercise, by getting at what intelligence I could from her.
+
+Why, Miss, seating herself at a little distance (excuse my sitting down)
+with the snuff-box tapped very smartly, the lid opened, and a
+pinch taken with a dainty finger and thumb, the other three fingers
+distendedly bent, and with a fine flourish--I cannot but say, that it is
+my opinion, you will certainly go on Thursday; and this noless foless,
+as I have heard my young lady say in FRENCH.
+
+Whether I am willing or not willing, you mean, I suppose, Mrs. Betty?
+
+You have it, Miss.
+
+Well but, Betty, I have no mind to be turned out of doors so suddenly.
+Do you think I could not be permitted to tarry one week longer?
+
+How can I tell, Miss?
+
+O Mrs. Betty, you can tell a great deal, if you please. But here I am
+forbid writing to any one of my family; none of it now will come near
+me; nor will any of it permit me to see them: How shall I do to make
+known my request, to stay here a week or fortnight longer?
+
+Why, Miss, I fancy, if you were to shew a compliable temper, your
+friends would shew a compliable one too. But would you expect favours,
+and grant none?
+
+Smartly put, Betty! But who knows what may be the result of my being
+carried to my uncle Antony's?
+
+Who knows, Miss!--Why any body will guess what may be the result.
+
+As how, Betty?
+
+As how! repeated the pert wench, Why, Miss, you will stand in your own
+light, as you have hitherto done: and your parents, as such good parents
+ought, will be obeyed.
+
+If, Mrs. Betty, I had not been used to your oughts, and to have my duty
+laid down to me by your oraculous wisdom I should be apt to stare at the
+liberty of you speech.
+
+You seem angry, Miss. I hope I take no unbecoming liberty.
+
+If thou really thinkest thou dost not, thy ignorance is more to be
+pitied, than thy pertness resented. I wish thou wouldst leave me to
+myself.
+
+When young ladies fall out with their own duty, it is not much to be
+wondered at, that they are angry at any body who do theirs.
+
+That's a very pretty saying, Mrs. Betty!--I see plainly what thy duty is
+in thy notion, and am obliged to those who taught it thee.
+
+Every body takes notice, Miss, that you can say very cutting words in a
+cool manner, and yet not call names, as I have known some gentlefolks
+as well as others do when in a passion. But I wish you had permitted
+'Squire Solmes to see you: he would have told you such stories of
+'Squire Lovelace, as you would have turned your heart against him for
+ever.
+
+And know you any of the particulars of those sad stories?
+
+Indeed I don't; but you'll hear all at your uncle Antony's, I suppose;
+and a great deal more perhaps than you will like to hear.
+
+Let me hear what I will, I am determined against Mr. Solmes, were it to
+cost me my life.
+
+If you are, Miss, the Lord have mercy on you! For what with this letter
+of yours to 'Squire Solmes, whom they so much value, and what with
+their antipathy to 'Squire Lovelace, whom they hate, they will have no
+patience with you.
+
+What will they do, Betty? They won't kill me? What will they do?
+
+Kill you! No!--But you will not be suffered to stir from thence, till
+you have complied with your duty. And no pen and ink will be allowed you
+as here; where they are of opinion you make no good use of it: nor would
+it be allowed here, only as they intend so soon to send you away to your
+uncle's. No-body will be permitted to see you, or to correspond with
+you. What farther will be done, I can't say; and, if I could, it may not
+be proper. But you may prevent all, by one word: and I wish you would,
+Miss. All then would be easy and happy. And, if I may speak my mind, I
+see not why one man is not as good as another: why, especially, a sober
+man is not as good as a rake.
+
+Well, Betty, said I, sighing, all thy impertinence goes for nothing. But
+I see I am destined to be a very unhappy creature. Yet I will venture
+upon one request more to them.
+
+And so, quite sick of the pert creature and of myself, I retired to my
+closet, and wrote a few lines to my uncle Harlowe, notwithstanding his
+prohibition; in order to get a reprieve from being carried away so soon
+as Thursday next, if I must go. And this, that I might, if complied
+with, suspend the appointment I have made with Mr. Lovelace; for my
+heart misgives me as to meeting him; and that more and more; I know not
+why. Under the superscription of the letter, I wrote these words: 'Pray,
+dear Sir, be pleased to give this a reading.'
+
+This is a copy of what I wrote:
+
+
+TUESDAY AFTERNOON.
+
+HONOURED SIR,
+
+Let me this once be heard with patience, and have my petition granted.
+It is only, that I may not be hurried away so soon as next Thursday.
+
+Why should the poor girl be turned out of doors so suddenly, so
+disgracefully? Procure for me, Sir, one fortnight's respite. In that
+space of time, I hope you will all relent. My mamma shall not need to
+shut her door in apprehension of seeing her disgraceful child. I will
+not presume to think of entering her presence, or my papa's without
+leave. One fortnight's respite is but a small favour for them to grant,
+except I am to be refused every thing I ask; but it is of the highest
+import to my peace of mind. Procure it for me, therefore, dearest Sir;
+and you will exceedingly oblige
+
+Your dutiful, though greatly afflicted niece, CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+I sent this down: my uncle was not gone: and he now stays to know the
+result of the question put to me in the enclosed answer which he has
+given to mind.
+
+
+Your going to your uncle's was absolutely concluded upon for next
+Thursday. Nevertheless, your mother, seconded by Mr. Solmes, pleaded
+so strongly to have you indulged, that your request for a delay will
+be complied with, upon one condition; and whether for a fortnight, or
+a shorter time, that will depend upon yourself. If you refuse the
+condition, your mother declares she will give over all further
+intercession for you.--Nor do you deserve this favour, as you put it
+upon our yielding to you, not you to us.
+
+This condition is, that you admit of a visit from Mr. Solmes, for one
+hour, in company of your brother, your sister, or your uncle Antony,
+choose who you will.
+
+If you comply not, go next Thursday to a house which is become strangely
+odious to you of late, whether you get ready to go or not. Answer
+therefore directly to the point. No evasion. Name your day and hour. Mr.
+Solmes will neither eat you, nor drink you. Let us see, whether we are
+to be complied with in any thing, or not.
+
+JOHN HARLOWE.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+After a very little deliberation, I resolved to comply with this
+condition. All I fear is, that Mr. Lovelace's intelligencer may inform
+him of it; and that his apprehensions upon it may make him take some
+desperate resolution: especially as now (having more time given me here)
+I think to write to him to suspend the interview he is possibly so sure
+of. I sent down the following to my uncle:
+
+
+HONOURED SIR,
+
+Although I see not what end the proposed condition can answer, I comply
+with it. I wish I could with every thing expected of me. If I must name
+one, in whose company I am to see the gentleman, and that one not my
+mamma, whose presence I could wish to be honoured by on the occasion,
+let my uncle, if he pleases, be the person. If I must name the day, (a
+long day, I doubt, will not be permitted me,) let it be next Tuesday.
+
+The hour, four in the afternoon. The place either the ivy summer-house,
+or in the little parlour I used to be permitted to call mine.
+
+Be pleased, Sir, nevertheless, to prevail upon my mamma, to vouchsafe me
+her presence on the occasion.
+
+I am, Sir, your ever-dutiful CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+A reply is just sent me. I thought it became my averseness to this
+meeting, to name a distant day: but I did not expect they would have
+complied with it. So here is one week gained!
+
+This is the reply:
+
+
+You have done well to comply. We are willing to think the best of every
+slight instance of duty from you. Yet have you seemed to consider the
+day as an evil day, and so put if far off. This nevertheless is granted
+you, as no time need to be lost, if you are as generous after the day,
+as we are condescending before it. Let me advise you, not to harden your
+mind; nor take up your resolution beforehand. Mr. Solmes has more awe,
+and even terror, at the thought of seeing you, than you can have at the
+thoughts of seeing him. His motive is love; let not yours be hatred. My
+brother Antony will be present, in hopes you will deserve well of him,
+by behaving well to the friend of the family. See you use him as such.
+Your mother had permission to be there, if she thought fit: but says,
+she would not for a thousand pound, unless you would encourage her
+beforehand as she wishes to be encouraged. One hint I am to give you
+mean time. It is this: To make a discreet use of your pen and ink.
+Methinks a young creature of niceness should be less ready to write to
+one man, when she is designed to be another's.
+
+This compliance, I hope, will produce greater, and then the peace of the
+family will be restored: which is what is heartily wished by
+
+Your loving uncle, JOHN HARLOWE.
+
+Unless it be to the purpose our hearts are set upon, you need not write
+again.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+This man have more terror at seeing me, than I can have at seeing
+him!--How can that be? If he had half as much, he would not wish to see
+me!--His motive love!--Yes, indeed! Love of himself! He knows no other;
+for love, that deserves the name, seeks the satisfaction of the beloved
+object more than its own. Weighed in this scale, what a profanation is
+this man guilty of!
+
+Not to take up my resolution beforehand!--That advice comes too late.
+
+But I must make a discreet use of my pen. That, I doubt, as they have
+managed it, in the sense they mean it, is as much out of my power, as
+the other.
+
+But write to one man, when I am designed for another!--What a shocking
+expression is that!
+
+Repenting of my appointment with Mr. Lovelace before I had this favour
+granted me, you may believe I hesitated not a moment to revoke it now
+that I had gained such a respite. Accordingly, I wrote, 'That I found
+it inconvenient to meet him, as I had intended: that the risque I should
+run of a discovery, and the mischiefs that might flow from it, could not
+be justified by any end that such a meeting could answer: that I found
+one certain servant more in my way, when I took my morning and evening
+airings, than any other: that the person who might reveal the secrets
+of a family to him, might, if opportunity were given him, betray me, or
+him, to those whom it was his duty to serve: that I had not been used to
+a conduct so faulty, as to lay myself at the mercy of servants: and was
+sorry he had measures to pursue, that made steps necessary in his own
+opinion, which, in mine, were very culpable, and which no end could
+justify: that things drawing towards a crisis between my friends and me,
+an interview could avail nothing; especially as the method by which this
+correspondence was carried on was not suspected, and he could write all
+that was in his mind to write: that I expected to be at liberty to judge
+of what was proper and fit upon this occasion: especially as he might be
+assured, that I would sooner choose death, than Mr. Solmes.'
+
+
+TUESDAY NIGHT.
+
+I have deposited my letter to Mr. Lovelace. Threatening as things look
+against me, I am much better pleased with myself for declining the
+interview than I was before. I suppose he will be a little out of humour
+upon it, however: but as I reserved to myself the liberty of changing my
+mind; and as it is easy for him to imagine there may be reasons for it
+within-doors, which he cannot judge of without; besides those I have
+suggested, which of themselves are of sufficient weight to engage his
+acquiescence; I should think it strange, if he acquiesces not on this
+occasion, and that with a cheerfulness, which may shew me, that his last
+letter is written from his heart: For, if he be really so much concerned
+at his past faults, as he pretends, and has for some time pretended,
+must he not, of course, have corrected, in some degree, the impetuosity
+of his temper? The first step to reformation, as I conceive, is to
+subdue sudden gusts of passion, from which frequently the greatest evils
+arise, and to learn to bear disappointments. If the irascible passions
+cannot be overcome, what opinion can we have of the person's power over
+those to which bad habit, joined to greater temptation, gives stronger
+force?
+
+Pray, my dear, be so kind as to make inquiry, by some safe hand, after
+the disguises Mr. Lovelace assumes at the inn he puts up at in the poor
+village of Neale, he calls it. If it be the same I take it to be, I
+never knew it was considerable enough to have a name; nor that it has an
+inn in it.
+
+As he must, to be so constantly near us, be much there, I would be glad
+to have some account of his behaviour; and what the people think of him.
+In such a length of time, he must by his conduct either give scandal,
+or hope of reformation. Pray, my dear, humour me in this inquiry. I have
+reason for it, which you shall be acquainted with another time, if the
+result of the inquiry discover them not.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XX
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE WEDNESDAY MORNING, NINE O'CLOCK.
+
+
+I am just returned from my morning walk, and already have received a
+letter from Mr. Lovelace in answer to mine deposited last night. He
+must have had pen, ink, and paper with him; for it was written in the
+coppice; with this circumstance: On one knee, kneeling with the other.
+Not from reverence to the written to, however, as you'll find!
+
+Well we are instructed early to keep these men at distance. An
+undesigning open heart, where it is loth to disoblige, is easily drawn
+in, I see, to oblige more than ever it designed. It is too apt to govern
+itself by what a bold spirit is encouraged to expect of it. It is very
+difficult for a good-natured young person to give a negative where it
+disesteems not.
+
+Our hearts may harden and contract, as we gain experience, and when we
+have smarted perhaps for our easy folly: and so they ought, or we should
+be upon very unequal terms with the world.
+
+Excuse these grave reflections. This man has vexed me heartily. I see
+his gentleness was art: fierceness, and a temper like what I have been
+too much used to at home, are Nature in him. Nothing, I think, shall
+ever make me forgive him; for, surely, there can be no good reason for
+his impatience on an expectation given with reserve, and revocable.--I
+so much to suffer through him; yet, to be treated as if I were obliged
+to bear insults from him--!
+
+But here you will be pleased to read his letter; which I shall enclose.
+
+
+TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE
+
+GOOD GOD!
+
+What is now to become of me!--How shall I support this
+disappointment!--No new cause!--On one knee, kneeling with the other, I
+write!--My feet benumbed with midnight wanderings through the heaviest
+dews that ever fell: my wig and my linen dripping with the hoar frost
+dissolving on them!--Day but just breaking--Sun not risen to exhale--May
+it never rise again!--Unless it bring healing and comfort to a benighted
+soul! In proportion to the joy you had inspired (ever lovely promiser!)
+in such proportion is my anguish!
+
+O my beloved creature!--But are not your very excuses confessions of
+excuses inexcusable? I know not what I write!--That servant in your
+way!* By the great God of Heaven, that servant was not, dared not, could
+not, be in your way!--Curse upon the cool caution that is pleased to
+deprive me of an expectation so transporting!
+
+
+     * See Letter XIX.
+
+
+And are things drawing towards a crisis between your friends and
+you?--Is not this a reason for me to expect, the rather to expect, the
+promised interview?
+
+CAN I write all that is in my mind, say you?--Impossible!--Not the
+hundredth part of what is in my mind, and in my apprehension, can I
+write!
+
+Oh! the wavering, the changeable sex!--But can Miss Clarissa Harlowe--
+
+Forgive me, Madam!--I know not what I write!
+
+Yet, I must, I do, insist upon your promise--or that you will condescend
+to find better excuses for the failure--or convince me, that stronger
+reasons are imposed upon you, than those you offer.--A promise once
+given (upon deliberation given,) the promised only can dispense with;
+except in cases of a very apparent necessity imposed upon the promiser,
+which leaves no power to perform it.
+
+The first promise you ever made me! Life and death perhaps depending
+upon it--my heart desponding from the barbarous methods resolved to be
+taken with you in malice to me!
+
+You would sooner choose death than Solmes. (How my soul spurns the
+competition!) O my beloved creature, what are these but words?--Whose
+words?--Sweet and ever adorable--What?--Promise breaker--must I call
+you?--How shall I believe the asseveration, (your supposed duty in the
+question! Persecution so flaming!--Hatred to me so strongly avowed!)
+after this instance of you so lightly dispensing with your promise?
+
+If, my dearest life! you would prevent my distraction, or, at least,
+distracted consequences, renew the promised hope!--My fate is indeed
+upon its crisis.
+
+Forgive me, dearest creature, forgive me!--I know I have written in too
+much anguish of mind!--Writing this, in the same moment that the just
+dawning light has imparted to me the heavy disappointment.
+
+I dare not re-peruse what I have written. I must deposit it. It may
+serve to shew you my distracted apprehension that this disappointment is
+but a prelude to the greatest of all.--Nor, having here any other paper,
+am I able to write again, if I would, on this gloomy spot. (Gloomy is
+my soul; and all Nature around me partakes of my gloom!)--I trust it
+therefore to your goodness--if its fervour excite your displeasure
+rather than your pity, you wrong my passion; and I shall be ready to
+apprehend, that I am intended to be the sacrifice of more miscreants
+than one! [Have patience with me, dearest creature!--I mean Solmes and
+your brother only.] But if, exerting your usual generosity, you will
+excuse and re appoint, may that God, whom you profess to serve, and who
+is the God of truth and of promises, protect and bless you, for both;
+and for restoring to himself, and to hope,
+
+Your ever-adoring, yet almost desponding, LOVELACE!
+
+Ivy Cavern, in the Coppice--Day but just breaking.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+This is the answer I shall return:
+
+
+WEDNESDAY MORNING.
+
+I am amazed, Sir, at the freedom of your reproaches. Pressed and teased,
+against convenience and inclination, to give you a private meeting, am I
+to be thus challenged and upbraided, and my sex reflected upon, because
+I thought it prudent to change my mind?--A liberty I had reserved
+to myself, when I made the appointment, as you call it. I wanted not
+instances of your impatient spirit to other people: yet may it be happy
+for me, that I can have this new one; which shows, that you can as
+little spare me, when I pursue the dictates of my own reason, as you do
+others, for acting up to theirs. Two motives you must be governed by in
+this excess. The one my easiness; the other your own presumption. Since
+you think you have found out the first, and have shown so much of the
+last upon it, I am too much alarmed, not to wish and desire, that your
+letter of this day may conclude all the trouble you had from, or for,
+
+Your humble servant, CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I believe, my dear, I may promise myself your approbation, whenever I
+write or speak with spirit, be it to whom it will. Indeed, I find but
+too much reason to exert it, since I have to deal with people, who
+govern themselves in their conduct to me, not by what is fit or decent,
+right or wrong, but by what they think my temper will bear. I have, till
+very lately, been praised for mine; but it has always been by those who
+never gave me opportunity to return the compliment to them. Some people
+have acted, as if they thought forbearance on one side absolutely
+necessary for them and me to be upon good terms together; and in this
+case have ever taken care rather to owe that obligation than to lay it.
+You have hinted to me, that resentment is not natural to my temper, and
+that therefore it must soon subside: it may be so with respect to my
+relations; but not to Mr. Lovelace, I assure you.
+
+
+WEDNESDAY NOON, MARCH 29.
+
+We cannot always answer for what we can do: but to convince you, that I
+can keep my above resolution, with regard to Mr. Lovelace, angry as my
+letter is, and three hours since it was written, I assure you, that I
+repent it not; nor will soften it, although I find it is not taken away.
+And yet I hardly ever before did any thing in anger, that I did not
+repent in half an hour; and question myself in less that that time,
+whether I was right or wrong.
+
+In this respite till Tuesday, I have a little time to look about me,
+as I may say, and to consider of what I have to do, and can do. And Mr.
+Lovelace's insolence will make me go very home with myself. Not that I
+think I can conquer my aversion to Mr. Solmes. I am sure I cannot. But,
+if I absolutely break with Mr. Lovelace, and give my friends convincing
+proofs of it, who knows but they will restore me to their favour, and
+let their views in relation to the other man go off by degrees?--Or,
+at least, that I may be safe till my cousin Morden arrives: to whom,
+I think, I will write; and the rather, as Mr. Lovelace has assured
+me, that my friends have written to him to make good their side of the
+question.
+
+But, with all my courage, I am exceedingly apprehensive about the
+Tuesday next, and about what may result from my steadfastness; for
+steadfast I am sure I shall be. They are resolved, I am told, to try
+every means to induce me to comply with what they are determined upon.
+And I am resolved to do all I can to avoid what they would force me to
+do. A dreadful contention between parents and child!--Each hoping to
+leave the other without excuse, whatever the consequence may be.
+
+What can I do? Advise me, my dear. Something is strangely wrong
+somewhere! to make parents, the most indulgent till now, seem cruel in
+a child's eye; and a daughter, till within these few weeks, thought
+unexceptionably dutiful, appear, in their judgment, a rebel!--Oh! my
+ambitious and violent brother! What may he have to answer for to both!
+
+Be pleased to remember, my dear, that your last favour was dated on
+Saturday. This is Wednesday: and none of mine have been taken away
+since. Don't let me want you advice. My situation is extremely
+difficult.--But I am sure you love me still: and not the less on that
+account. Adieu, my beloved friend.
+
+CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXI
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE THURSDAY MORNING, DAY-BREAK, MARCH
+30.
+
+An accident, and not remissness, has occasioned my silence.
+
+My mother was sent for on Sunday night by her cousin Larkin, whom I
+mentioned in one of my former, and who was extremely earnest to see her.
+
+This poor woman was always afraid of death, and was one of those weak
+persons who imagine that the making of their will must be an undoubted
+forerunner of it.
+
+She had always said, when urged to the necessary work, That whenever she
+made it, she should not live long after; and, one would think, imagined
+she was under an obligation to prove her words: for, though she had been
+long bed-rid, and was, in a manner, worn out before, yet she thought
+herself better, till she was persuaded to make it: and from that moment,
+remembering what she used to prognosticate, (her fears, helping on what
+she feared, as is often the case, particularly in the small-pox,) grew
+worse; and had it in her head once to burn her will, in hopes to grow
+better upon it.
+
+She sent my mother word, that the doctors had given her over: but that
+she could not die till she saw her. I told my mother, That if she wished
+her a chance for recovery, she should not, for that reason, go. But go
+she would; and, what was worse, would make me go with her; and that, at
+an hour's warning; for she said nothing of it to me, till she was rising
+in the morning early, resolving to return again at night. Had there been
+more time for argumentation, to be sure I had not gone; but as it was,
+there was a kind of necessity that my preparation to obey her, should,
+in a manner, accompany her command.--A command so much out of the way,
+on such a solemn occasion! And this I represented: but to no purpose:
+There never was such a contradicting girl in the world--My wisdom
+always made her a fool!--But she would be obliged this time, proper or
+improper.
+
+I have but one way of accounting for this sudden whim of my mother; and
+that is this--She had a mind to accept of Mr. Hickman's offer to escort
+her:--and I verily believe [I wish I were quite sure of it] had a mind
+to oblige him with my company--as far as I know, to keep me out of
+worse.
+
+For, would you believe it?--as sure as you are alive, she is afraid for
+her favourite Hickman, because of the long visit your Lovelace, though
+so much by accident, made me in her absence, last time she was at the
+same place. I hope, my dear, you are not jealous too. But indeed I
+now-and-then, when she teases me with praises which Hickman cannot
+deserve, in return fall to praising those qualities and personalities in
+Lovelace, which the other never will have. Indeed I do love to tease a
+little bit, that I do.--My mamma's girl--I had like to have said.
+
+As you know she is as passionate, as I am pert, you will not wonder to
+be told, that we generally fall out on these occasions. She flies from
+me, at the long run. It would be undutiful in me to leave her first--and
+then I get an opportunity to pursue our correspondence.
+
+For, now I am rambling, let me tell you, that she does not much favour
+that;--for two reasons, I believe:--One, that I don't shew her all that
+passes between us; the other, that she thinks I harden your mind against
+your duty, as it is called. And with her, for a reason at home, as I
+have hinted more than once, parents cannot do wrong; children cannot
+oppose, and be right. This obliges me now-and-then to steal an hour, as
+I may say, and not let her know how I am employed.
+
+You may guess from what I have written, how averse I was to comply with
+such an unreasonable stretch of motherly authority. But it came to be a
+test of duty; so I was obliged to yield, though with a full persuasion
+of being in the right.
+
+I have always your reproofs upon these occasions: in your late letters
+stronger than ever. A good reason why, you'll say, because more deserved
+than ever. I thank you kindly for your correction. I hope to make
+correction of it. But let me tell you, that your stripes, whether
+deserved or not, have made me sensible, deeper than the skin--but of
+this another time.
+
+It was Monday afternoon before we reached the old lady's house. That
+fiddling, parading fellow [you know who I mean] made us wait for him two
+hours, and I to go to a journey I disliked! only for the sake of having
+a little more tawdry upon his housings; which he had hurried his sadler
+to put on, to make him look fine, being to escort his dear Madam Howe,
+and her fair daughter. I told him, that I supposed he was afraid, that
+the double solemnity in the case (that of the visit to a dying woman,
+and that of his own countenance) would give him the appearance of an
+undertaker; to avoid which, he ran into as bad an extreme, and I doubted
+would be taken for a mountebank.
+
+The man was confounded. He took it as strongly, as if his conscience
+gave assent to the justice of the remark: otherwise he would have borne
+it better; for he is used enough to this sort of treatment. I thought he
+would have cried. I have heretofore observed, that on this side of the
+contract, he seems to be a mighty meek sort of creature. And though I
+should like it in him hereafter perhaps, yet I can't help despising him
+a little in my heart for it now. I believe, my dear, we all love your
+blustering fellows best; could we but direct the bluster, and bid it
+roar when and at whom we pleased.
+
+The poor man looked at my mother. She was so angry, (my airs upon it,
+and my opposition to the journey, have all helped,) that for half the
+way she would not speak to me. And when she did, it was, I wish I had
+not brought you! You know not what it is to condescend. It is my fault,
+not Mr. Hickman's, that you are here so much against your will. Have you
+no eyes for this side of the chariot?
+
+And then he fared the better from her, as he always does, for faring
+worse from me: for there was, How do you now, Sir? And how do you now,
+Mr. Hickman? as he ambled now on this side of the chariot, now on that,
+stealing a prim look at me; her head half out of the chariot, kindly
+smiling, as if married to the man but a fortnight herself: while I
+always saw something to divert myself on the side of the chariot where
+the honest man was not, were it but old Robin at a distance, on his roan
+Keffel.
+
+Our courtship-days, they say, are our best days. Favour destroys
+courtship. Distance increases it. Its essence is distance. And, to see
+how familiar these men-wretches grow upon a smile, what an awe they are
+struck into when we frown; who would not make them stand off? Who would
+not enjoy a power, that is to be short-lived?
+
+Don't chide me one bit for this, my dear. It is in nature. I can't help
+it. Nay, for that matter, I love it, and wish not to help it. So spare
+your gravity, I beseech you on this subject. I set up not for a perfect
+character. The man will bear it. And what need you care? My mother
+overbalances all he suffers: And if he thinks himself unhappy, he ought
+never to be otherwise.
+
+Then did he not deserve a fit of the sullens, think you, to make us lose
+our dinner for his parade, since in so short a journey my mother would
+not bait, and lose the opportunity of coming back that night, had the
+old lady's condition permitted it? To say nothing of being the cause,
+that my mamma was in the glout with her poor daughter all the way.
+
+At our alighting I gave him another dab; but it was but a little one.
+Yet the manner, and the air, made up (as I intended they should) for
+that defect. My mother's hand was kindly put into his, with a simpering
+altogether bridal; and with another How do you now, Sir?--All his plump
+muscles were in motion, and a double charge of care and obsequiousness
+fidgeted up his whole form, when he offered to me his officious palm.
+My mother, when I was a girl, always bid me hold up my head. I just then
+remembered her commands, and was dutiful--I never held up my head so
+high. With an averted supercilious eye, and a rejecting hand, half
+flourishing--I have no need of help, Sir!--You are in my way.
+
+He ran back, as if on wheels; with a face excessively mortified: I had
+thoughts else to have followed the too-gentle touch, with a declaration,
+that I had as many hands and feet as himself. But this would have been
+telling him a piece of news, as to the latter, that I hope he had not
+the presumption to guess at.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+We found the poor woman, as we thought, at the last gasp. Had we come
+sooner, we could not have got away as we intended, that night. You see I
+am for excusing the man all I can; and yet, I assure you, I have not so
+much as a conditional liking to him. My mother sat up most part of the
+night, expecting every hour would have been her poor cousin's last. I
+bore her company till two.
+
+I never saw the approaches of death in a grown person before; and was
+extremely shocked. Death, to one in health, is a very terrible thing. We
+pity the person for what she suffers: and we pity ourselves for what we
+must some time hence in like sort suffer; and so are doubly affected.
+
+She held out till Tuesday morning, eleven. As she had told my mother
+that she had left her an executrix, and her and me rings and mourning;
+we were employed all that day in matters of the will [by which, by the
+way, my own cousin Jenny Fynnett is handsomely provided for], so that it
+was Wednesday morning early, before we could set out on our return.
+
+It is true, we got home (having no housings to stay for) by noon: but
+though I sent Robin away before he dismounted, (who brought me back
+a whole packet, down to the same Wednesday noon,) yet was I really so
+fatigued, and shocked, as I must own, at the hard death of the old
+lady; my mother likewise (who has no reason to dislike this world) being
+indisposed from the same occasion; that I could not set about writing
+time enough for Robin's return that night.
+
+But having recruited my spirits, my mother having also had a good night,
+I arose with the dawn, to write this, and get it dispatched time enough
+for your breakfast airing; that your suspense might be as short as
+possible.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I will soon follow this with another. I will employ a person directly
+to find out how Lovelace behaves himself at his inn. Such a busy spirit
+must be traceable.
+
+But, perhaps, my dear, you are indifferent now about him, or his
+employments; for this request was made before he mortally offended you.
+Nevertheless, I will have inquiry made. The result, it is very probable,
+will be of use to confirm you in your present unforgiving temper.--And
+yet, if the poor man [shall I pity him for you, my dear?] should be
+deprived of the greatest blessing any man on earth can receive, and to
+which he has the presumption, with so little merit, to aspire; he will
+have run great risks; caught great colds; hazarded fevers; sustained
+the highest indignities; braved the inclemencies of skies, and all
+for--nothing!--Will not this move your generosity (if nothing else) in
+his favour!--Poor Mr. Lovelace--!
+
+I would occasion no throb; nor half-throb; no flash of sensibility, like
+lightning darting in, and as soon suppressed by a discretion that no
+one of the sex ever before could give such an example of--I would not,
+I say; and yet, for such a trial of you to yourself, rather than as an
+impertinent overflow of raillery in your friend, as money-takers try a
+suspected guinea by the sound, let me on such a supposition, sound you,
+by repeating, poor Mr. Lovelace!
+
+And now, my dear, how is it with you? How do you now, as my mother says
+to Mr. Hickman, when her pert daughter has made him look sorrowful?
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXII
+
+MR. HICKMAN, TO MRS. HOWE WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29.
+
+
+MADAM,
+
+It is with infinite regret that I think myself obliged, by pen and ink,
+to repeat my apprehension, that it is impossible for me ever to obtain a
+share in the affections of your beloved daughter. O that it were not too
+evident to every one, as well as to myself, even to our very servants,
+that my love for her, and my assiduities, expose me rather to her scorn
+[forgive me, Madam, the hard word!] than to the treatment due to a man
+whose proposals have met with your approbation, and who loves her above
+all the women in the world!
+
+Well might the merit of my passion be doubted, if, like Mr. Solmes to
+the truly-admirably Miss Clarissa Harlowe, I could continue my addresses
+to Miss Howe's distaste. Yet what will not the discontinuance cost me!
+
+Give me leave, nevertheless, dearest, worthiest Lady, to repeat, what I
+told you, on Monday night, at Mrs. Larkin's, with a heart even bursting
+with grief, That I wanted not the treatment of that day to convince
+me, that I am not, nor ever can be, the object of Miss Howe's voluntary
+favour. What hopes can there be, that a lady will ever esteem, as a
+husband, the man, whom, as a lover, she despises? Will not every act
+of obligingness from such a one, be construed as an unmanly tameness
+of spirit, and entitle him the more to her disdain?--My heart is full:
+Forgive me, if I say, that Miss Howe's treatment of me does no credit
+either to her education, or fine sense.
+
+Since, then, it is too evident, that she cannot esteem me; and since, as
+I have heard it justly observed by the excellent Miss Clarissa Harlowe,
+that love is not a voluntary passion; would it not be ungenerous to
+subject the dear daughter to the displeasure of a mother so justly fond
+of her; and you, Madam, while you are so good as to interest yourself in
+my favour, to uneasiness? And why, were I even to be sure, at last, of
+succeeding by means of your kind partiality to me, should I wish to make
+the best-beloved of my soul unhappy; since mutual must be our happiness,
+or misery for life the consequence to both?
+
+My best wishes will for ever attend the dear, the ever-dear lady! may
+her nuptials be happy! they must be so, if she marry the man she can
+honour with her love. Yet I will say, that whoever be the happy, the
+thrice-happy man, he can never love her with a passion more ardent and
+more sincere than mine.
+
+Accept, dear Madam, of my most grateful thanks for a distinction that
+has been the only support of my presumption in an address I am obliged,
+as utterly hopeless, to discontinue. A distinction, on which (and not
+on my own merits) I had entirely relied; but which, I find, can avail me
+nothing. To the last hour of my life, it will give me pleasure to think,
+that had your favour, your recommendation, been of sufficient weight to
+conquer what seems to be an invincible aversion, I had been the happiest
+of men.
+
+I am, dear Madam, with inviolable respect, your ever obliged and
+faithful humble servant, CHARLES HICKMAN.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXIII
+
+MRS. HOWE, TO CHARLES HICKMAN, ESQ. THURSDAY, MARCH 30.
+
+
+I cannot but say, Mr. Hickman, but you have cause to be dissatisfied--to
+be out of humour--to be displeased--with Nancy--but, upon my word; but
+indeed--What shall I say?--Yet this I will say, that you good young
+gentlemen know nothing at all of our sex. Shall I tell you--but why
+should I? And yet I will, that if Nancy did not think well of you upon
+the main, she is too generous to treat you so freely as she does.--Don't
+you think she has courage enough to tell me, she would not see you, and
+to refuse at any time seeing you, as she knows on what account you come,
+if she had not something in her head favourable to you?--Fie! that I am
+forced to say thus much in writing, when I have hinted it to you twenty
+and twenty times by word of mouth!
+
+But if you are so indifferent, Mr. Hickman--if you think you can part
+with her for her skittish tricks--if my interest in your favour--Why,
+Mr. Hickman, I must tell you that my Nancy is worth bearing with. If she
+be foolish--what is that owing to?--Is it not to her wit? Let me tell
+you, Sir, you cannot have the convenience without the inconvenience.
+What workman loves not a sharp tool to work with? But is there not more
+danger from a sharp tool than from a blunt one? And what workman will
+throw away a sharp tool, because it may cut his fingers? Wit may be
+likened to a sharp tool. And there is something very pretty in wit, let
+me tell you. Often and often have I been forced to smile at her arch
+turns upon me, when I could have beat her for them. And, pray, don't I
+bear a great deal from her?--And why? because I love her. And would you
+not wish me to judge of your love for her by my own? And would not you
+bear with her?--Don't you love her (what though with another sort of
+love?) as well as I do? I do assure you, Sir, that if I thought you did
+not--Well, but it is plain that you don't!--And is it plain that you
+don't?--Well, then, you must do as you think best.
+
+Well might the merit of your passion be doubted, you say, if, like Mr.
+Solmes--fiddle-faddle!--Why, you are a captious man, I think!--Has Nancy
+been so plain in her repulses of you as Miss Clary Harlowe has been to
+Mr. Solmes?--Does Nancy love any man better than you, although she may
+not shew so much love to you as you wish for?--If she did, let me tell
+you, she would have let us all hear of it.--What idle comparisons then!
+
+But it mat be you are tired out. It may be you have seen somebody
+else--it may be you would wish to change mistresses with that gay wretch
+Mr. Lovelace. It may be too, that, in that case, Nancy would not be
+sorry to change lovers--The truly-admirable Miss Clarissa Harlowe!--Good
+lack!-but take care, Mr. Hickman, that you do not praise any woman
+living, let her be as admirable and as excellent as she will, above your
+own mistress. No polite man will do that, surely. And take care
+too, that you do not make her or me think you are in earnest in your
+anger--just though it may be, as anger only--I would not for a thousand
+pounds, that Nancy should know that you can so easily part with her, if
+you have the love for her which you declare you have. Be sure, if you
+are not absolutely determined, that you do not so much as whisper the
+contents of this your letter to your own heart, as I may say.
+
+Her treatment of you, you say, does no credit either to her education
+or fine sense. Very home put, truly! Nevertheless, so say I. But is not
+hers the disgrace, more than yours? I can assure you, that every body
+blames her for it. And why do they blame her?--Why? because they think
+you merit better treatment at her hands: And is not this to your credit?
+Who but pities you, and blames he? Do the servants, who, as you observe,
+see her skittish airs, disrespect you for them? Do they not, at such
+times, look concerned for you? Are they not then doubly officious in
+their respects and services to you?--I have observed, with pleasure,
+that they are.
+
+But you are afraid you shall be thought tame, perhaps, when married.
+That you shall not be though manly enough, I warrant!--And this was poor
+Mr. Howe's fear. And many a tug did this lordly fear cost us both, God
+knows!--Many more than needed, I am sure:--and more than ought to have
+been, had he known how to bear and forbear; as is the duty of those who
+pretend to have most sense--And, pray, which would you have to have most
+sense, the woman or the man?
+
+Well, Sir, and now what remains, if you really love Nancy so well as you
+say you do?--Why, I leave that to you. You may, if you please, come to
+breakfast with me in the morning. But with no full heart, nor resenting
+looks, I advise you; except you can brave it out. That have I, when
+provoked, done many a time with my husband, but never did I get any
+thing by it with my daughter: much less will you. Of which, for your
+observation, I thought fit to advise you. As from
+
+Your friend, Anabella Howe.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXIV
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE THURSDAY MORNING.
+
+
+I will now take some notice of your last favour. But being so far
+behind-hand with you, must be brief.
+
+In the first place, as to your reproofs, thus shall I discharge myself
+of that part of my subject. Is it likely, think you, that I should avoid
+deserving them now-and-then, occasionally, when I admire the manner in
+which you give me your rebukes, and love you the better for them? And
+when you are so well entitled to give them? For what faults can you
+possibly have, unless your relations are so kind as to find you a few to
+keep their many in countenance?--But they are as king to me in this, as
+to you; for I may venture to affirm, That any one who should read
+your letters, and would say you were right, would not on reading mine,
+condemn me for them quite wrong.
+
+Your resolution not to leave your father's house is right--if you can
+stay in it, and avoid being Solmes's wife.
+
+I think you have answered Solmes's letter, as I should have answered
+it.--Will you not compliment me and yourself at once, by saying, that
+was right?
+
+You have, in your letters to your uncle and the rest, done all that you
+ought to do. You are wholly guiltless of the consequence, be it what it
+will. To offer to give up your estate!--That would not I have done! You
+see this offer staggered them: they took time to consider of it. They
+made my heart ache in the time they took. I was afraid they would have
+taken you at your word: and so, but for shame, and for fear of Lovelace,
+I dare say they would. You are too noble for them. This, I repeat, is an
+offer I would not have made. Let me beg of you, my dear, never to repeat
+the temptation to them.
+
+I freely own to you, that their usage of you upon it, and Lovelace's
+different treatment of you* in his letter received at the same time,
+would have made me his, past redemption. The duce take the man, I was
+going to say, for not having so much regard to his character and morals,
+as would have entirely justified such a step in a CLARISSA, persecuted
+as she is!
+
+
+     * See Letter XVIII.
+
+
+I wonder not at your appointment with him. I may further touch upon some
+part of this subject by-and-by.
+
+Pray--pray--I pray you now, my dearest friend, contrive to send your
+Betty Banes to me!--Does the Coventry Act extend to women, know ye?--The
+least I will do, shall be, to send her home well soused in and dragged
+through our deepest horsepond. I'll engage, if I get her hither, that
+she will keep the anniversary of her deliverance as long as she lives.
+
+I wonder not at Lovelace's saucy answer, saucy as it really is.* If he
+loves you as he ought, he must be vexed at so great a disappointment.
+The man must have been a detestable hypocrite, I think, had he not shown
+his vexation. Your expectations of such a christian command of temper
+in him, in a disappointment of this nature especially, are too early by
+almost half a century in a man of his constitution. But nevertheless I
+am very far from blaming you for your resentment.
+
+
+     * See Letter XX.
+
+
+I shall be all impatience to know how this matter ends between you and
+him. But a few inches of brick wall between you so lately; and now such
+mountains?--And you think to hold it?--May be so!
+
+You see, you say, that the temper he shewed in his letter was not
+natural to him. Wretched creepers and insinuators! Yet when opportunity
+serves, as insolent encroachers!--This very Hickman, I make no doubt,
+would be as saucy as your Lovelace, if he dared. He has not half the
+arrogant bravery of the other, and can better hide his horns; that's
+all. But whenever he has the power, depend upon it, he will butt at one
+as valiantly as the other.
+
+If ever I should be persuaded to have him, I shall watch how the
+obsequious lover goes off; and how the imperative husband comes upon
+him; in short, how he ascends, and how I descend, in the matrimonial
+wheel, never to take my turn again, but by fits and starts like the
+feeble struggles of a sinking state for its dying liberty.
+
+All good-natured men are passionate, says Mr. Lovelace. A pretty plea
+to a beloved object in the plenitude of her power! As much as to say,
+'Greatly I value you, Madam, I will not take pains to curb my passions
+to oblige you'--Methinks I should be glad to hear from Mr. Hickman such
+a plea for good nature as this.
+
+Indeed, we are too apt to make allowances for such tempers as early
+indulgence has made uncontroulable; and therefore habitually evil. But
+if a boisterous temper, when under obligation, is to be thus allowed
+for, what, when the tables are turned, will it expect? You know a
+husband, who, I fancy, had some of these early allowances made for him:
+and you see that neither himself nor any body else is the happier for
+it.
+
+The suiting of the tempers of two persons who are to come together, is
+a great matter: and there should be boundaries fixed between them, by
+consent as it were, beyond which neither should go: and each should hold
+the other to it; or there would probably be encroachment in both. To
+illustrate my assertion by a very high, and by a more manly (as some
+would think it) than womanly instance--if the boundaries of the
+three estates that constitute our political union were not known,
+and occasionally asserted, what would become of the prerogatives and
+privileges of each? The two branches of the legislature would encroach
+upon each other; and the executive power would swallow up both.
+
+But if two persons of discretion, you'll say, come together--
+
+Ay, my dear, that's true: but, if none but persons of discretion were
+to marry--And would it not surprise you if I were to advance, that the
+persons of discretion are generally single?--Such persons are apt
+to consider too much, to resolve.--Are not you and I complimented as
+such?--And would either of us marry, if the fellows and our friends
+would let us alone?
+
+But to the former point;--had Lovelace made his addresses to me, (unless
+indeed I had been taken with a liking for him more than conditional,)
+I would have forbid him, upon the first passionate instance of his
+good-nature, as he calls it, ever to see me more: 'Thou must bear with
+me, honest friend, might I have said [had I condescended to say any
+thing to him] an hundred times more than this:--Begone, therefore!--I
+bear with no passions that are predominant to that thou has pretended
+for me!'
+
+But to one of your mild and gentle temper, it would be all one, were
+you married, whether the man were a Lovelace or a Hickman in his
+spirit.--You are so obediently principled, that perhaps you would have
+told a mild man, that he must not entreat, but command; and that it
+was beneath him not to exact from you the obedience you had so solemnly
+vowed to him at the altar.--I know of old, my dear, your meek regard
+to that little piddling part of the marriage-vow which some
+prerogative-monger foisted into the office, to make that a duty, which
+he knew was not a right.
+
+Our way of training-up, you say, makes us need the protection of the
+brave. Very true: And how extremely brave and gallant is it, that this
+brave man will free us from all insults but those which will go nearest
+to our hearts; that is to say, his own!
+
+How artfully has Lovelace, in the abstract you give me of one of
+his letters, calculated to your meridian! Generous spirits hate
+compulsion!--He is certainly a deeper creature by much than once we
+thought him. He knows, as you intimate, that his own wild pranks cannot
+be concealed: and so owns just enough to palliate (because it teaches
+you not to be surprised at) any new one, that may come to your ears; and
+then, truly, he is, however faulty, a mighty ingenuous man; and by no
+means an hypocrite: a character the most odious of all others, to our
+sex, in a lover, and the least to be forgiven, were it only because,
+when detected, it makes us doubt the justice of those praises which we
+are willing to believe he thought to be our due.
+
+By means of this supposed ingenuity, Lovelace obtains a praise, instead
+of a merited dispraise; and, like an absolved confessionaire, wipes off
+as he goes along one score, to begin another: for an eye favourable
+to him will not see his faults through a magnifying glass; nor will a
+woman, willing to hope the best, forbear to impute it to ill-will and
+prejudice all that charity can make so imputable. And if she even give
+credit to such of the unfavourable imputations as may be too flagrant
+to be doubted, she will be very apt to take in the future hope, which
+he inculcates, and which to question would be to question her own power,
+and perhaps merit: and thus may a woman be inclined to make a slight,
+even a fancied merit atone for the most glaring vice.
+
+I have a reason, a new one, for this preachment upon a text you have
+given me. But, till I am better informed, I will not explain myself.
+If it come out, as I shrewdly suspect it will, the man, my dear, is a
+devil; and you must rather think of--I protest I had like to have said
+Solmes than him.
+
+But let this be as it will, shall I tell you, how, after all his
+offences, he may creep in with you again?
+
+I will. Thus then: It is but to claim for himself the good-natured
+character: and this, granted, will blot out the fault of passionate
+insolence: and so he will have nothing to do, but this hour to
+accustom you to insult; the next, to bring you to forgive him, upon
+his submission: the consequence must be, that he will, by this teazing,
+break your resentment all to pieces: and then, a little more of the
+insult, and a little less of the submission, on his part, will go down,
+till nothing else but the first will be seen, and not a bit of the
+second. You will then be afraid to provoke so offensive a spirit: and
+at last will be brought so prettily, and so audibly, to pronounce the
+little reptile word OBEY, that it will do one's heart good to hear you.
+The Muscovite wife then takes place of the managed mistress. And if
+you doubt the progression, be pleased, my dear, to take your mother's
+judgment upon it.
+
+But no more of this just now. Your situation is become too critical to
+permit me to dwell upon these sort of topics. And yet this is but an
+affected levity with me. My heart, as I have heretofore said, is a
+sincere sharer in all your distresses. My sun-shine darts but through
+a drizly cloud. My eye, were you to see it, when it seems to you so
+gladdened, as you mentioned in a former, is more than ready to overflow,
+even at the very passages perhaps upon which you impute to me the
+archness of exultation.
+
+But now the unheard-of cruelty and perverseness of some of your friends
+[relations, I should say--I am always blundering thus!] the as strange
+determinedness of others; your present quarrel with Lovelace; and your
+approaching interview with Solmes, from which you are right to apprehend
+a great deal; are such considerable circumstances in your story, that it
+is fit they should engross all my attention.
+
+You ask me to advise you how to behave upon Solmes's visit. I cannot for
+my life. I know they expect a great deal from it: you had not else had
+your long day complied with. All I will say is, That if Solmes cannot
+be prevailed for, now that Lovelace has so much offended you, he never
+will. When the interview is over, I doubt not but that I shall have
+reason to say, that all you did, that all you said, was right, and could
+not be better: yet, if I don't think so, I won't say so; that I promise
+you.
+
+Only let me advise you to pull up a spirit, even to your uncle, if there
+be occasion. Resent the vile and foolish treatment you meet with, in
+which he has taken so large a share, and make him ashamed of it, if you
+can.
+
+I know not, upon recollection, but this interview may be a good thing
+for you, however designed. For when Solmes sees (if that be to be so)
+that it is impossible he should succeed with you; and your relations see
+it too; the one must, I think, recede, and the other come to terms with
+you, upon offers, that it is my opinion, will go hard enough with you to
+comply with; when the still harder are dispensed with.
+
+There are several passages in your last letters, as well as in your
+former, which authorize me to say this. But it would be unseasonable to
+touch this subject farther just now.
+
+But, upon the whole, I have no patience to see you thus made sport of
+your brother's and sister's cruelty: For what, after so much steadiness
+on your part, in so many trials, can be their hope? except indeed it be
+to drive you to extremity, and to ruin you in the opinion of your uncles
+as well as father.
+
+I urge you by all means to send out of their reach all the letters
+and papers you would not have them see. Methinks, I would wish you to
+deposit likewise a parcel of clothes, linen, and the like, before your
+interview with Solmes: lest you should not have an opportunity for it
+afterwards. Robin shall fetch it away on the first orders by day or by
+night.
+
+I am in hopes to procure from my mother, if things come to extremity,
+leave for you to be privately with us.
+
+I will condition to be good-humoured, and even kind, to HER favourite,
+if she will shew me an indulgence that shall make me serviceable to
+MINE.
+
+This alternative has been a good while in my head. But as your foolish
+uncle has so strangely attached my mother to their views, I cannot
+promise that I shall succeed as I wish.
+
+Do not absolutely despair, however. What though the contention will be
+between woman and woman? I fancy I shall be able to manage it, by the
+help of a little female perseverance. Your quarrel with Lovelace, if
+it continue, will strengthen my hands. And the offers you made in your
+answer to your uncle Harlowe's letter of Sunday night last, duly dwelt
+upon, must add force to my pleas.
+
+I depend upon your forgiveness of all the perhaps unseasonable
+flippancies of your naturally too lively, yet most sincerely
+sympathizing, ANNA HOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXV
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE FRIDAY, MARCH 31.
+
+
+You have very kindly accounted for your silence. People in misfortune
+are always in doubt. They are too apt to turn even unavoidable accidents
+into slights and neglects; especially in those whose favourable opinion
+they wish to preserve.
+
+I am sure I ought evermore to exempt my Anna Howe from the supposed
+possibility of her becoming one of those who bask only in the sun-shine
+of a friend: but nevertheless her friendship is too precious to me, not
+to doubt my own merits on the one hand, and not to be anxious for the
+preservation of it, on the other.
+
+You so generously gave me liberty to chide you, that I am afraid of
+taking it, because I could sooner mistrust my own judgment, than that of
+a beloved friend, whose ingenuousness in acknowledging an imputed error
+seems to set her above the commission of a wilful one. This makes
+me half-afraid to ask you, if you think you are not too cruel, too
+ungenerous shall I say? in your behaviour to a man who loves you so
+dearly, and is so worthy and so sincere a man?
+
+Only it is by YOU, or I should be ashamed to be outdone in that true
+magnanimity, which makes one thankful for the wounds given by a true
+friend. I believe I was guilty of a petulance, which nothing but my
+uneasy situation can excuse; if that can. I am but almost afraid to beg
+of you, and yet I repeatedly do, to give way to that charming spirit,
+whenever it rises to your pen, which smiles, yet goes to the quick of my
+fault. What patient shall be afraid of a probe in so delicate a hand?--I
+say, I am almost afraid to pray you to give way to it, for fear you
+should, for that very reason, restrain it. For the edge may be taken
+off, if it does not make the subject of its raillery wince a little.
+Permitted or desired satire may be apt, in a generous satirist, mending
+as it rallies, to turn too soon into panegyric. Yours is intended to
+instruct; and though it bites, it pleases at the same time: no fear of a
+wound's wrankling or festering by so delicate a point as you carry;
+not envenomed by personality, not intending to expose, or ridicule, or
+exasperate. The most admired of our moderns know nothing of this art:
+Why? Because it must be founded in good nature, and directed by a right
+heart. The man, not the fault, is generally the subject of their satire:
+and were it to be just, how should it be useful; how should it answer
+any good purpose; when every gash (for their weapon is a broad sword,
+not a lancet) lets in the air of public ridicule, and exasperates where
+it should heal? Spare me not therefore because I am your friend. For
+that very reason spare me not. I may feel your edge, fine as it is. I
+may be pained: you would lose you end if I were not: but after the first
+sensibility (as I have said more than once before) I will love you the
+better, and my amended heart shall be all yours; and it will then be
+more worthy to be yours.
+
+You have taught me what to say to, and what to think of, Mr. Lovelace.
+You have, by agreeable anticipation, let me know how it is probable he
+will apply to me to be excused. I will lay every thing before you that
+shall pass on the occasion, if he do apply, that I may take your advice,
+when it can come in time; and when it cannot, that I may receive your
+correction, or approbation, as I may happen to merit either.--Only one
+thing must be allowed for me; that whatever course I shall be permitted
+or be forced to steer, I must be considered as a person out of her own
+direction. Tost to and fro by the high winds of passionate controul,
+(and, as I think, unseasonable severity,) I behold the desired port,
+the single state, into which I would fain steer; but am kept off by
+the foaming billows of a brother's and sister's envy, and by the raging
+winds of a supposed invaded authority; while I see in Lovelace, the
+rocks on one hand, and in Solmes, the sands on the other; and tremble,
+lest I should split upon the former, or strike upon the latter.
+
+But you, my better pilot, to what a charming hope do you bid me aspire,
+if things come to extremity!--I will not, as you caution me, too much
+depend upon your success with your mother in my favour; for well I know
+her high notions of implicit duty in a child: but yet I will hope too;
+because her seasonable protection may save me perhaps from a greater
+rashness: and in this case, she shall direct me in all my ways: I will
+do nothing but by her orders, and by her advice and yours: not see
+any body: not write to any body: nor shall any living soul, but by her
+direction and yours, know where I am. In any cottage place me, I will
+never stir out, unless, disguised as your servant, I am now-and-then
+permitted an evening-walk with you: and this private protection to be
+granted for no longer time than till my cousin Morden comes; which, as I
+hope, cannot be long.
+
+I am afraid I must not venture to take the hint you give me, to deposit
+some of my clothes; although I will some of my linen, as well as papers.
+
+I will tell you why--Betty had for some time been very curious about my
+wardrobe, whenever I took out any of my things before her.
+
+Observing this, I once, on taking one of my garden-airings, left my keys
+in the locks: and on my return surprised the creature with her hand upon
+the keys, as if shutting the door.
+
+She was confounded at my sudden coming back. I took no notice: but on
+her retiring, I found my cloaths were not in the usual order.
+
+I doubted not, upon this, that her curiosity was owing to the orders she
+had received; and being afraid they would abridge me of my airings, if
+their suspicions were not obviated, it has ever since been my custom
+(among other contrivances) not only to leave my keys in the locks, but
+to employ the wench now-and-then in taking out my cloaths, suit by suit,
+on pretence of preventing their being rumpled or creased, and to see
+that the flowered silver suit did not tarnish: sometimes declaredly to
+give myself employment, having little else to do. With which employment
+(superadded to the delight taken by the low as well as by the high of
+our sex in seeing fine cloaths) she seemed always, I thought, as well
+pleased as if it answered one of the offices she had in charge.
+
+To this, and to the confidence they have in a spy so diligent, and
+to their knowing that I have not one confidant in a family in which
+nevertheless I believe every servant loves me; nor have attempted
+to make one; I suppose, I owe the freedom I enjoy of my airings: and
+perhaps (finding I make no movements towards going away) they are the
+more secure, that I shall at last be prevailed upon to comply with
+their measures: since they must think, that, otherwise, they give me
+provocation enough to take some rash step, in order to free myself
+from a treatment so disgraceful; and which [God forgive me, if I judge
+amiss!] I am afraid my brother and sister would not be sorry to drive me
+to take.
+
+If, therefore, such a step should become necessary, (which I yet hope
+will not,) I must be contented to go away with the clothes I shall
+have on at the time. My custom to be dressed for the day, as soon as
+breakfast is over, when I have had no household employments to prevent
+me, will make such a step (if I am forced to take it) less suspected.
+And the linen I shall deposit, in pursuance of your kind hint, cannot be
+missed.
+
+This custom, although a prisoner, (as I may too truly say,) and neither
+visited nor visiting, I continue. We owe to ourselves, and to our sex,
+you know, to be always neat; and never to be surprised in a way we
+should be pained to be seen in.
+
+Besides, people in adversity (which is the state of trial of every good
+quality) should endeavour to preserve laudable customs, that, if sun
+shine return, they may not be losers by their trial.
+
+Does it not, moreover, manifest a firmness of mind, in an unhappy
+person, to keep hope alive? To hope for better days, is half to deserve
+them: for could we have just ground for such a hope, if we did not
+resolve to deserve what that hope bids us aspire to?--Then who shall
+befriend a person who forsakes herself?
+
+These are reflections by which I sometimes endeavour to support myself.
+
+I know you don't despise my grave airs, although (with a view no doubt
+to irradiate my mind in my misfortunes) you rally me upon them. Every
+body has not your talent of introducing serious and important lessons,
+in such a happy manner as at once to delight and instruct.
+
+What a multitude of contrivances may not young people fall upon, if the
+mind be not engaged by acts of kindness and condescension! I am not used
+by my friends of late as I always used their servants.
+
+When I was intrusted with the family-management, I always found it
+right, as well in policy as generosity, to repose a trust in them. Not
+to seem to expect or depend upon justice from them, is in a manner to
+bid them to take opportunities, whenever they offer, to be unjust.
+
+Mr. Solmes, (to expatiate on this low, but not unuseful subject,) in his
+more trifling solicitudes, would have had a sorry key-keeper in me. Were
+I mistress of a family, I would not either take to myself, or give to
+servants, the pain of keeping those I had reason to suspect. People low
+in station have often minds not sordid. Nay, I have sometimes thought,
+that (even take number for number) there are more honest low people,
+than honest high. In the one, honest is their chief pride. In the other,
+the love of power, of grandeur, of pleasure, mislead; and that and their
+ambition induce a paramount pride, which too often swallows up the more
+laudable one.
+
+Many of the former would scorn to deceive a confidence. But I have seen,
+among the most ignorant of their class, a susceptibility of resentment,
+if their honesty has been suspected: and have more than once been forced
+to put a servant right, whom I have heard say, that, although she valued
+herself upon her honesty, no master or mistress should suspect her for
+nothing.
+
+How far has the comparison I had in my head, between my friends
+treatment of me, and my treatment of the servants, carried me!--But we
+always allowed ourselves to expatiate on such subjects, whether low
+or high, as might tend to enlarge our minds, or mend our management,
+whether notional or practical, and whether such expatiating respected
+our present, or might respect our probable future situations.
+
+What I was principally leading to, was to tell you how ingenious I am in
+my contrivances and pretences to blind my gaoleress, and to take off the
+jealousy of her principals on my going down so often into the garden and
+poultry-yard. People suspiciously treated are never I believe at a loss
+for invention. Sometimes I want air, and am better the moment I am out
+of my chamber.--Sometimes spirits; and then my bantams and pheasants or
+the cascade divert me; the former, by their inspiring liveliness; the
+latter, by its echoing dashes, and hollow murmurs.--Sometimes, solitude
+is of all things my wish; and the awful silence of the night, the
+spangled element, and the rising and setting sun, how promotive of
+contemplation!--Sometimes, when I intend nothing, and expect no letters,
+I am officious to take Betty with me; and at others, bespeak her
+attendance, when I know she is otherwise employed, and cannot give it
+me.
+
+These more capital artifices I branch out into lesser ones, without
+number. Yet all have not only the face of truth, but are real truths;
+although not my principal motive. How prompt a thing is will!--What
+impediments does dislike furnish!--How swiftly, through every
+difficulty, do we move with the one!--how tardily with the other!--every
+trifling obstruction weighing us down, as if lead were fastened to our
+feet!
+
+
+FRIDAY MORNING, ELEVEN O'CLOCK.
+
+I have already made up my parcel of linen. My heart ached all the time
+I was employed about it; and still aches, at the thoughts of its being a
+necessary precaution.
+
+When the parcel comes to your hands, as I hope it safely will, you will
+be pleased to open it. You will find in it two parcels sealed up; one
+of which contains the letters you have not yet seen; being those written
+since I left you: in the other are all the letters and copies of letters
+that have passed between you and me since I was last with you; with some
+other papers on subjects so much above me, that I cannot wish them to be
+seen by any body whose indulgence I am not so sure of, as I am of yours.
+If my judgment ripen with my years, perhaps I may review them.
+
+Mrs. Norton used to say, from her reverend father, that youth was the
+time of life for imagination and fancy to work in: then, were a writer
+to lay by his works till riper years and experience should direct the
+fire rather to glow, than to flame out; something between both might
+perhaps be produced that would not displease a judicious eye.
+
+In a third division, folded up separately, are all Mr. Lovelace's
+letters written to me since he was forbidden this house, and copies
+of my answers to them. I expect that you will break the seals of this
+parcel, and when you have perused them all, give me your free opinion of
+my conduct.
+
+By the way, not a line from that man!--Not one line! Wednesday I
+deposited mine. It remained there on Wednesday night. What time it was
+taken away yesterday I cannot tell: for I did not concern myself about
+it, till towards night; and then it was not there. No return at ten this
+day. I suppose he is as much out of humour as I.--With all my heart.
+
+He may be mean enough perhaps, if ever I should put it into his power,
+to avenge himself for the trouble he has had with me.--But that now, I
+dare say, I never shall.
+
+I see what sort of a man the encroacher is. And I hope we are equally
+sick of one another.--My heart is vexedly easy, if I may so describe
+it.--Vexedly--because of the apprehended interview with Solmes, and the
+consequences it may be attended with: or else I should be quite easy;
+for why? I have not deserved the usage I receive: and could I be rid of
+Solmes, as I presume I am of Lovelace, their influence over my father,
+mother, and uncles, against me, could not hold.
+
+The five guineas tied up in one corner of a handkerchief under the
+linen, I beg you will let pass as an acknowledgement for the trouble
+I give your trusty servant. You must not chide me for this. You know I
+cannot be easy unless I have my way in these little matters.
+
+I was going to put up what little money I have, and some of my
+ornaments; but they are portable, and I cannot forget them. Besides,
+should they (suspecting me) desire to see any of the jewels, and were
+I not able to produce them, it would amount to a demonstration of an
+intention which would have a guilty appearance to them.
+
+
+FRIDAY, ONE O'CLOCK, IN THE WOOD-HOUSE.
+
+No letter yet from this man! I have luckily deposited my parcel, and
+have your letter of last night. If Robert take this without the parcel,
+pray let him return immediately for it. But he cannot miss it, I think:
+and must conclude that it is put there for him to take away. You may
+believe, from the contents of yours, that I shall immediately write
+again.--
+
+CLARISSA HARLOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXVI
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE THURSDAY NIGHT, MARCH 30.
+
+
+The fruits of my inquiry after your abominable wretch's behaviour and
+baseness at the paltry alehouse, which he calls an inn, prepare to hear.
+
+Wrens and sparrows are not too ignoble a quarry for this villainous
+gos-hawk!--His assiduities; his watchings; his nightly risques; the
+inclement weather he journeys in; must not be all placed to your
+account. He has opportunities of making every thing light to him of
+that sort. A sweet pretty girl, I am told--innocent till he went
+thither--Now! (Ah! poor girl!) who knows what?
+
+But just turned of seventeen!--His friend and brother-rake (a man of
+humour and intrigue) as I am told, to share the social bottle with.
+And sometimes another disguised rake or two. No sorrow comes near their
+hearts. Be not disturbed, my dear, at his hoarsenesses! his pretty,
+Betsey, his Rosebud, as the vile wretch calls her, can hear all he says.
+
+He is very fond of her. They say she is innocent even yet--her father,
+her grandmother, believe her to be so. He is to fortune her out to a
+young lover!--Ah! the poor young lover!--Ah! the poor simple girl!
+
+Mr. Hickman tells me, that he heard in town, that he used to be often
+at plays, and at the opera, with women; and every time with a different
+one--Ah! my sweet friend!--But I hope he is nothing to you, if all this
+were truth.--But this intelligence, in relation to this poor girl, will
+do his business, if you had been ever so good friends before.
+
+A vile wretch! Cannot such purity in pursuit, in view, restrain him? but
+I leave him to you!--There can be no hope of him. More of a fool,
+than of such a man. Yet I wish I may be able to snatch the poor young
+creature out of his villainous paws. I have laid a scheme to do so; if
+indeed she be hitherto innocent and heart-free.
+
+He appears to the people as a military man, in disguise, secreting
+himself on account of a duel fought in town; the adversary's life in
+suspense. They believe he is a great man. His friend passes for an
+inferior officer; upon a footing of freedom with him. He, accompanied by
+a third man, who is a sort of subordinate companion to the second. The
+wretch himself with but one servant.
+
+O my dear! how pleasantly can these devils, as I must call them, pass
+their time, while our gentle bosoms heave with pity for their supposed
+sufferings for us!
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I have sent for this girl and her father; and am just now informed, that
+I shall see them. I will sift them thoroughly. I shall soon find out
+such a simple thing as this, if he has not corrupted her already--and if
+he has, I shall soon find out that too.--If more art than nature appears
+either in her or her father, I shall give them both up--but depend upon
+it, the girl's undone.
+
+He is said to be fond of her. He places her at the upper end of his
+table. He sets her a-prattling. He keeps his friends at a distance from
+her. She prates away. He admires for nature all she says. Once was heard
+to call her charming little creature! An hundred has he called so no
+doubt. He puts her upon singing. He praises her wild note--O my dear,
+the girl's undone!--must be undone!--The man, you know, is LOVELACE.
+
+Let 'em bring Wyerley to you, if they will have you married--any body
+but Solmes and Lovelace be yours!--So advises
+
+Your ANNA HOWE.
+
+My dearest friend, consider this alehouse as his garrison: him as an
+enemy: his brother-rakes as his assistants and abettors. Would not your
+brother, would not your uncles, tremble, if they knew how near them he
+is, as they pass to and fro?--I am told, he is resolved you shall not be
+carried to your uncle Antony's.--What can you do, with or without such
+an enterprising--
+
+Fill up the blank I leave.--I cannot find a word bad enough
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXVII
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE FRIDAY, THREE O'CLOCK.
+
+
+You incense, alarm, and terrify me, at the same time.--Hasten, my
+dearest friend, hasten to me what further intelligence you can gather
+about this vilest of men.
+
+But never talk of innocence, of simplicity, and this unhappy girl,
+together! Must she not know, that such a man as that, dignified in his
+very aspect; and no disguise able to conceal his being of condition;
+must mean too much, when he places her at the upper end of his table,
+and calls her by such tender names? Would a girl, modest as simple,
+above seventeen, be set a-singing at the pleasure of such a man as
+that? a stranger, and professedly in disguise!--Would her father and
+grandmother, if honest people, and careful of their simple girl, permit
+such freedoms?
+
+Keep his friend at a distance from her!--To be sure his designs are
+villainous, if they have not been already effected.
+
+Warn, my dear, if not too late, the unthinking father, of his child's
+danger. There cannot be a father in the world, who would sell his
+child's virtue. Nor mother!--The poor thing!
+
+I long to hear the result of your intelligence. You shall see the simple
+creature, you tell me.--Let me know what sort of a girl she is.--A sweet
+pretty girl! you say. A sweet pretty girl, my dear!--They are sweet
+pretty words from your pen. But are they yours or his of her?--If she be
+so simple, if she have ease and nature in her manner, in her speech, and
+warbles prettily her wild notes, why, such a girl as that must
+engage such a profligate wretch, (as now indeed I doubt this man is,)
+accustomed, perhaps, to town women, and their confident ways.--Must
+deeply and for a long season engage him: since perhaps when her
+innocence is departed, she will endeavour by art to supply the loss of
+the natural charms which now engage him.
+
+Fine hopes of such a wretch's reformation! I would not, my dear, for the
+world, have any thing to say--but I need not make resolutions. I have
+not opened, nor will I open, his letter.--A sycophant creature!--With
+his hoarsenesses--got perhaps by a midnight revel, singing to his wild
+note singer, and only increased in the coppice!
+
+To be already on a footing!--In his esteem, I mean: for myself, I
+despise him. I hate myself almost for writing so much about him, and of
+such a simpleton as this sweet pretty girl as you call her: but no one
+can be either sweet or pretty, that is not modest, that is not virtuous.
+
+And now, my dear, I will tell you how I came to put you upon this
+inquiry.
+
+This vile Joseph Leman had given a hint to Betty, and she to me, as if
+Lovelace would be found out to be a very bad man, at a place where he
+had been lately seen in disguise. But he would see further, he said,
+before he told her more; and she promised secrecy, in hope to get at
+further intelligence. I thought it could be no harm, to get you to
+inform yourself, and me, of what could be gathered.* And now I see, his
+enemies are but too well warranted in their reports of him: and, if the
+ruin of this poor young creature be his aim, and if he had not known her
+but for his visits to Harlowe-place, I shall have reason to be doubly
+concerned for her; and doubly incensed against so vile a man.
+
+
+     * It will be seen in Vol.I.Letter XXXIV. that Mr. Lovelace's
+     motive for sparing his Rosebud was twofold. First, Because
+     his pride was gratified by the grandmother's desiring him to
+     spare her grand-daughter. Many a pretty rogue, say he, had I
+     spared, whom I did not spare, had my power been
+     acknowledged, and my mercy in time implored. But the
+     debellare superbos should be my motto, were I to have a new
+     one.
+
+     His other motive will be explained in the following passage,
+     in the same. I never was so honest, for so long together,
+     says he, since my matriculation. It behoves me so to be.
+     Some way or other my recess [at the little inn] may be found
+     out, and it then will be thought that my Rosebud has
+     attracted me. A report in my favour, from simplicities so
+     amiable, may establish me, &c.
+
+     Accordingly, as the reader will hereafter see, Mr. Lovelace
+     finds by the effects, his expectations from the contrivance
+     he set on foot by means of his agent Joseph Leman (who
+     plays, as above, upon Betty Barnes) fully answered, though
+     he could not know what passed on the occasion between the
+     two ladies.
+
+     This explanation is the more necessary to be given, as
+     several of our readers (through want of due attention) have
+     attributed to Mr. Lovelace, on his behaviour to his Rosebud,
+     a greater merit than was due to him; and moreover imagined,
+     that it was improbable, that a man, who was capable of
+     acting so generously (as they supposed) in this instance,
+     should be guilty of any atrocious vileness. Not considering,
+     that love, pride, and revenge as he owns in Vol.I.Letter
+     XXXI. were ingredients of equal force in his composition;
+     and that resistance was a stimulus to him.
+
+
+I think I hate him worse than I do Solmes himself.
+
+But I will not add one more word about hi,; and after I have told you,
+that I wish to know, as soon as possible what further occurs from your
+inquiry. I have a letter from him; but shall not open it till I do:
+and then, if it come out as I dare say it will, I will directly put the
+letter unopened into the place I took it from, and never trouble myself
+more about him. Adieu, my dearest friend.
+
+CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXVIII
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE. FRIDAY NOON, MARCH 31.
+
+
+Justice obliges me to forward this after my last on the wings of the
+wind, as I may say. I really believe the man is innocent. Of this
+one accusation, I think he must be acquitted; and I am sorry I was so
+forward in dispatching away my intelligence by halves.
+
+I have seen the girl. She is really a very pretty, a very neat, and,
+what is still a greater beauty, a very innocent young creature. He who
+could have ruined such an undersigned home-bred, must have been
+indeed infernally wicked. Her father is an honest simple man; entirely
+satisfied with his child, and with her new acquaintance.
+
+I am almost afraid for your heart, when I tell you, that I find, now I
+have got to the bottom of this inquiry, something noble come out in this
+Lovelace's favour.
+
+The girl is to be married next week; and this promoted and brought about
+by him. He is resolved, her father says, to make one couple happy,
+and wishes he could make more so [There's for you, my dear!] And she
+professes to love, he has given her an hundred pounds: the grandmother
+actually has it in her hands, to answer to the like sum given to the
+youth by one of his own relation: while Mr. Lovelace's companion,
+attracted by the example, has given twenty-five guineas to the father,
+who is poor, towards clothes to equip the pretty rustic.
+
+Mr. Lovelace and his friend, the poor man says, when they first came to
+his house, affected to appear as persons of low degree; but now he knows
+the one (but mentioned it in confidence) to be Colonel Barrow, the other
+Captain Sloane. The colonel he owns was at first very sweet upon his
+girl: but her grandmother's begging of him to spare her innocence, he
+vowed, that he never would offer any thing but good counsel to her. He
+kept his word; and the pretty fool acknowledged, that she never
+could have been better instructed by the minister himself from the
+bible-book!--The girl pleased me so well, that I made her visit to me
+worth her while.
+
+But what, my dear, will become of us now?--Lovelace not only reformed,
+but turned preacher!--What will become of us now?--Why, my sweet friend,
+your generosity is now engaged in his favour!--Fie upon this generosity!
+I think in my heart, that it does as much mischief to the noble-minded,
+as love to the ignobler.--What before was only a conditional liking, I
+am now afraid will turn to liking unconditional.
+
+I could not endure to change my invective into panegyric all at once,
+and so soon. We, or such as I at least, love to keep ourselves in
+countenance for a rash judgment, even when we know it to be rash.
+Everybody has not your generosity in confessing a mistake. It requires
+a greatness of soul frankly to do it. So I made still further inquiry
+after his life and manner, and behaviour there, in hopes to find
+something bad: but all uniform!
+
+Upon the whole, Mr. Lovelace comes out with so much advantage from this
+inquiry, that were there the least room for it, I should suspect the
+whole to be a plot set on foot to wash a blackamoor white. Adieu, my
+dear.
+
+ANNA HOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXIX
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE SATURDAY, APRIL 1.
+
+
+Hasty censures do indeed subject themselves to the charge of
+variableness and inconsistency in judgment: and so they ought; for,
+if you, even you, my dear, were so loth to own a mistake, as in the
+instance before us you pretend you were, I believe I should not have
+loved you so well as I really do love you. Nor could you, in that case,
+have so frankly thrown the reflection I hint at upon yourself, have not
+your mind been one of the most ingenuous that ever woman boasted.
+
+Mr. Lovelace has faults enow to deserve very severe censure, although
+he be not guilty of this. If I were upon such terms with him as he could
+wish me to be, I should give him such a hint, that this treacherous
+Joseph Leman cannot be so much attached to him, as perhaps he thinks
+him to be. If it were, he would not have been so ready to report to his
+disadvantage (and to Betty Barnes too) this slight affair of the pretty
+rustic. Joseph has engaged Betty to secrecy; promising to let her, and
+her young master, to know more, when he knows the whole of the matter:
+and this hinders her from mentioning it, as she is nevertheless agog to
+do, to my sister or brother. And then she does not choose to disoblige
+Joseph; for although she pretends to look above him, she listens, I
+believe, to some love-stories he tells her.
+
+Women having it not in their power to begin a courtship, some of them
+very frequently, I believe, lend an ear where their hearts incline not.
+
+But to say no more of these low people, neither of whom I think
+tolerably of; I must needs own, that as I should for ever have despised
+this man, had he been capable of such a vile intrigue in his way to
+Harlowe-place, and as I believe he was capable of it, it has indeed [I
+own it has] proportionably engaged my generosity, as you call it, in his
+favour: perhaps more than I may have reason to wish it had. And, rally
+me as you will, pray tell me fairly, my dear, would it not have had such
+an effect upon you?
+
+Then the real generosity of the act.--I protest, my beloved friend,
+if he would be good for the rest of his life from this time, I would
+forgive him a great many of his past errors, were it only for the
+demonstration he has given in this, that he is capable of so good and
+bountiful a manner of thinking.
+
+You may believe I made no scruple to open his letter, after the receipt
+of your second on this subject: nor shall I of answering it, as I have
+no reason to find fault with it: an article in his favour, procured
+him, however, so much the easier, (I must own,) by way of amends for the
+undue displeasure I took against him; though he knows it not.
+
+Is it lucky enough that this matter was cleared up to me by your
+friendly diligence so soon: for had I written before it was, it would
+have been to reinforce my dismission of him; and perhaps I should have
+mentioned the very motive; for it affected me more than I think it
+ought: and then, what an advantage would that have given him, when he
+could have cleared up the matter so happily for himself!
+
+When I send you this letter of his, you will see how very humble he is:
+what acknowledgements of natural impatience: what confession of faults,
+as you prognosticated.
+
+A very different appearance, I must own, all these make, now the story
+of the pretty rustic is cleared up, to what they would have made, had it
+not.
+
+You will see how he accounts to me, 'That he could not, by reason of
+indisposition, come for my letter in person: and the forward creature
+labours the point, as if he thought I should be uneasy that he did not.'
+I am indeed sorry he should be ill on my account; and I will allow, that
+the suspense he has been in for some time past, must have been vexatious
+enough to so impatient a spirit. But all is owing originally to himself.
+
+You will find him (in the presumption of being forgiven) 'full of
+contrivances and expedients for my escaping my threatened compulsion.'
+
+I have always said, that next to being without fault, is the
+acknowledgement of a fault; since no amendment can be expected where an
+error is defended: but you will see in this very letter, an haughtiness
+even in his submissions. 'Tis true, I know not where to find fault as
+to the expression; yet cannot I be satisfied, that his humility is
+humility; or even an humility upon such conviction as one should be
+pleased with.
+
+To be sure, he is far from being a polite man: yet is not directly and
+characteristically, as I may say, unpolite. But his is such a sort of
+politeness, as has, by a carelessness founded on very early indulgence,
+and perhaps on too much success in riper years, and an arrogance built
+upon both, grown into assuredness, and, of course, I may say, into
+indelicacy.
+
+The distance you recommend at which to keep these men, is certainly
+right in the main: familiarity destroys reverence: But with whom?--Not
+with those, surely, who are prudent, grateful, and generous.
+
+But it is very difficult for persons, who would avoid running into one
+extreme, to keep clear of another. Hence Mr. Lovelace, perhaps, thinks
+it the mark of a great spirit to humour his pride, though at the expense
+of his politeness: but can the man be a deep man, who knows not how to
+make such distinctions as a person of but moderate parts cannot miss?
+
+He complains heavily of my 'readiness to take mortal offence at him, and
+to dismiss him for ever: it is a high conduct, he says, he must be frank
+enough to tell me; a conduct that must be very far from contributing to
+allay his apprehensions of the possibility that I may be prosecuted into
+my relations' measures in behalf of Mr. Solmes.'
+
+You will see how he puts his present and his future happiness, 'with
+regard to both worlds, entirely upon me.' The ardour with which he vows
+and promises, I think the heart only can dictate: how else can one guess
+at a man's heart?
+
+You will also see, 'that he has already heard of the interview I am to
+have with Mr. Solmes;' and with what vehemence and anguish he expresses
+himself on the occasion. I intend to take proper notice of the ignoble
+means he stoops to, to come at his early intelligence of our family.
+If persons pretending to principle, bear not their testimony against
+unprincipled actions, what check can they have?
+
+You will see, 'how passionately he presses me to oblige him with a few
+lines, before the interview between Mr. Solmes and me takes place, (if,
+as he says, it must take place,) to confirm his hope, that I have no
+view, in my present displeasure against him, to give encouragement to
+Solmes. An apprehension, he says, that he must be excused for repeating;
+especially as the interview is a favour granted to that man, which
+I have refused to him; since, as he infers, were it not with such an
+expectation, why should my friends press it?'
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I have written; and to this effect: 'That I had never intended to write
+another line to a man, who could take upon himself to reflect upon my
+sex and myself, for having thought fit to make use of my own judgment.
+
+'I tell him, that I have submitted to the interview with Mr. Solmes,
+purely as an act of duty, to shew my friends, that I will comply with
+their commands as far as I can; and that I hope, when Mr. Solmes himself
+shall see how determined I am, he will cease to prosecute a suit, in
+which it is impossible he should succeed with my consent.
+
+'I assure him, that my aversion to Mr. Solmes is too sincere to permit
+me to doubt myself on this occasion. But, nevertheless, he must not
+imagine, that my rejecting of Mr. Solmes is in favour to him. That I
+value my freedom and independency too much, if my friends will but leave
+me to my own judgment, to give them up to a man so uncontroulable, and
+who shews me beforehand what I have to expect from him, were I in his
+power.
+
+'I express my high disapprobation of the methods he takes to come
+at what passes in a private family. The pretence of corrupting other
+people's servants, by way of reprisal for the spies they have set upon
+him, I tell him, is a very poor excuse; and no more than an attempt to
+justify one meanness by another.
+
+'There is, I observe to him, a right and a wrong in every thing, let
+people put what glosses they please upon their action. To condemn a
+deviation, and to follow it by as great a one, what, I ask him, is this,
+but propagating a general corruption?--A stand must be made somebody,
+turn round the evil as many as may, or virtue will be lost: And shall it
+not be I, a worthy mind would ask, that shall make this stand?
+
+'I leave him to judge, whether his be a worthy one, tried by this rule:
+And whether, knowing the impetuosity of his own disposition, and the
+improbability there is that my father and family will ever be reconciled
+to him, I ought to encourage his hopes?
+
+'These spots and blemishes, I further tell him, give me not earnestness
+enough for any sake but his own, to wish him in a juster and nobler
+train of thinking and acting; for that I truly despised many of the ways
+he allows himself in: our minds are therefore infinitely different:
+and as to his professions of reformation, I must tell him, that
+profuse acknowledgements, without amendment, are but to me as so many
+anticipating concessions, which he may find much easier to make, thane
+either to defend himself, or amend his errors.
+
+'I inform him, that I have been lately made acquainted' [and so I have
+by Betty, and she by my brother] 'with the weak and wanton airs he gives
+himself of declaiming against matrimony. I severely reprehend him on
+this occasion: and ask him, with what view he can take so witless, so
+despicable a liberty, in which only the most abandoned of men allow
+themselves, and yet presume to address me?
+
+
+'I tell him, that if I am obliged to go to my uncle Antony's, it is not
+to be inferred, that I must therefore necessarily be Mr. Solmes's wife:
+since I must therefore so sure perhaps that the same exceptions lie
+so strongly against my quitting a house to which I shall be forcibly
+carried, as if I left my father's house: and, at the worst, I may be
+able to keep them in suspense till my cousin Morden comes, who will have
+a right to put me in possession of my grandfather's estate, if I insist
+upon it.'
+
+This, I doubt, is somewhat of an artifice; which can only be excusable,
+as it is principally designed to keep him out of mischief. For I have
+but little hope, if carried thither, whether sensible or senseless,
+absolutely if I am left to the mercy of my brother and sister, but they
+will endeavour to force the solemn obligation upon me. Otherwise, were
+there but any prospect of avoiding this, by delaying (or even by taking
+things to make me ill, if nothing else would do,) till my cousin comes,
+I hope I should not think of leaving even my uncle's house. For I should
+not know how to square it to my own principles, to dispense with the
+duty I owe to my father, wherever it shall be his will to place me.
+
+But while you give me the charming hope, that, in order to avoid one
+man, I shall not be under the necessity of throwing myself upon the
+friends of the other; I think my case not desperate.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I see not any of my family, nor hear from them in any way of kindness.
+This looks as if they themselves expected no great matters from the
+Tuesday's conference which makes my heart flutter every time I think of
+it.
+
+My uncle Antony's presence on the occasion I do not much like: but I
+had rather meet him than my brother or sister: yet my uncle is very
+impetuous. I can't think Mr. Lovelace can be much more so; at least he
+cannot look angry, as my uncle, with his harder features, can. These
+sea-prospered gentlemen, as my uncle has often made me think, not used
+to any but elemental controul, and even ready to buffet that, bluster
+often as violently as the winds they are accustomed to be angry at.
+
+I believe Mr. Solmes will look as much like a fool as I shall do, if it
+be true, as my uncle Harlowe writes, and as Betty often tells me, that
+he is as much afraid of seeing me, as I am of seeing him.
+
+Adieu, my happy, thrice-happy Miss Howe, who have no hard terms fixed
+to your duty!--Who have nothing to do, but to fall in with a choice your
+mother has made for you, to which you have not, nor can have, a just
+objection: except the frowardness of our sex, as our free censurers
+would perhaps take the liberty to say, makes it one, that the choice was
+your mother's, at first hand. Perverse nature, we know, loves not to
+be prescribed to; although youth is not so well qualified, either by
+sedateness or experience, to choose for itself.
+
+To know your own happiness, and that it is now, nor to leave it to after
+reflection to look back upon the preferable past with a heavy and self
+accusing heart, that you did not choose it when you might have chosen
+it, is all that is necessary to complete your felicity!--And this power
+is wished you by
+
+Your CLARISSA HARLOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXX
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE SATURDAY, APRIL 2.
+
+
+I ought yesterday to have acknowledged the receipt of your parcel. Robin
+tells me, that the Joseph Leman, whom you mention as the traitor, saw
+him. He was in the poultry-yard, and spoke to Robin over the bank
+which divides that from the green-lane. 'What brings you hither, Mr.
+Robert?--But I can tell. Hie away, as fast as you can.'
+
+No doubt but their dependence upon this fellow's vigilance, and upon
+Betty's, leaves you more at liberty in your airings, than you would
+otherwise be. But you are the only person I ever heard of, who in such
+circumstances had not some faithful servant to trust little offices to.
+A poet, my dear, would not have gone to work for an Angelica, without
+giving her her Violetta, her Cleante, her Clelia, or some such
+pretty-named confidant--an old nurse at the least.
+
+I read to my mother several passages of your letters. But your last
+paragraph, in your yesterday's quite charmed her. You have won her heart
+by it, she told me. And while her fit of gratitude for it lasted, I was
+thinking to make my proposal, and to press it with all the earnestness
+I could give it, when Hickman came in, making his legs, and stroking his
+cravat and ruffles.
+
+I could most freely have ruffled him for it. As it was--Sir, said I, saw
+you not some of the servants?--Could not one of them have come in before
+you?
+
+He begged pardon: looked as if he knew not whether he had best keep his
+ground, or withdraw:--Till my mother, his fast friend, interposed--Why,
+Nancy, we are not upon particulars.--Pray, Mr. Hickman, sit down.
+
+By your le--ave, good Madam, to me. You know his drawl, when his muscles
+give him the respectful hesitation.--
+
+Ay, ay, pray sit down, honest man, if you are weary--but by mamma,
+if you please. I desire my hoop may have its full circumference. All
+they're good for, that I know, is to clean dirty shoes, and to keep
+fellows at a distance.
+
+Strange girl! cried my mother, displeased; but with a milder turn, ay,
+ay, Mr. Hickman, sit down by me: I have no such forbidding folly in my
+dress.
+
+I looked serious; and in my heart was glad this speech of hers was not
+made to your uncle Antony.
+
+My mother, with the true widow's freedom, would mighty prudently have
+led into the subject we had been upon; and would have had read to him, I
+question not, that very paragraph in your letter which is so much in
+his favour. He was highly obliged to dear Miss Harlowe, she would assure
+him; that she did say--
+
+But I asked him, if he had any news by his last letters from London?--A
+question which he always understands to be a subject changer; for
+otherwise I never put it. And so if he be but silent, I am not angry
+with him that he answers it not.
+
+I choose not to mention my proposal before him, till I know how it will
+be relished by my mother. If it be not well received, perhaps I may
+employ him on the occasion. Yet I don't like to owe him an obligation,
+if I could help it. For men who have his views in their heads, do so
+parade it, so strut about, if a woman condescend to employ them in her
+affairs, that one has no patience with them.
+
+However, if I find not an opportunity this day, I will make one
+to-morrow.
+
+I shall not open either of your sealed-up parcels, but in your presence.
+There is no need. Your conduct is out of all question with me: and by
+the extracts you have given me from his letters and your own, I know all
+that relates to the present situation of things between you.
+
+I was going to give you a little flippant hint or two. But since you
+wish to be thought superior to all our sex in the command of yourself;
+and since indeed you deserve to be thought so; I will spare you. You
+are, however, at times, more than half inclined to speak out. That
+you do not, is only owing to a little bashful struggle between you and
+yourself, as I may say. When that is quite got over, I know you will
+favour me undisguisedly with the result.
+
+I cannot forgive your taking upon me (at so extravagant a rate too) to
+pay my mother's servants. Indeed I am, and I will be, angry with you for
+it. A year's wages at once well nigh! only as, unknown to my mother, I
+make it better for the servants according to their merits--how it made
+the man stare!--And it may be his ruin too, as far as I know. If he
+should buy a ring, and marry a sorry body in the neighbourhood with the
+money, one would be loth, a twelvemonth hence, that the poor old fellow
+should think he had reason to wish the bounty never conferred.
+
+I MUST give you your way in these things, you say.--And I know there is
+no contradicting you: for you were ever putting too great a value upon
+little offices done for you, and too little upon the great ones you do
+for others. The satisfaction you have in doing so, I grant it, repays
+you. But why should you, by the nobleness of your mind, throw reproaches
+upon the rest of the world? particularly, upon your own family--and upon
+ours too?
+
+If, as I have heard you say, it is a good rule to give WORDS the
+hearing, but to form our judgment of men and things by DEEDS ONLY;
+what shall we think of one, who seeks to find palliatives in words, for
+narrowness of heart in the very persons her deeds so silently, yet so
+forcibly, reflect upon? Why blush you not, my dear friend, to be thus
+singular?--When you meet with another person whose mind is like your
+own, then display your excellencies as you please: but till then,
+for pity's sake, let your heart and your spirit suffer a little
+contradiction.
+
+I intended to write but a few lines; chiefly to let you know your
+parcels are come safe. And accordingly I began in a large hand; and I
+am already come to the end of my second sheet. But I could write a quire
+without hesitation upon a subject so copious and so beloved as is your
+praise. Not for this single instance of your generosity; since I am
+really angry with you for it; but for the benevolence exemplified in
+the whole tenor of your life and action; of which this is but a common
+instance. Heaven direct you, in your own arduous trials, is all I have
+room to add; and make you as happy, as you think to be
+
+Your own ANNA HOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXXI
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE SUNDAY NIGHT, APRIL 2.
+
+
+I have many new particulars to acquaint you with, that shew a great
+change in the behaviour of my friends as I find we have. I will give
+these particulars to you as they offered.
+
+All the family was at church in the morning. They brought good Dr. Lewen
+with them, in pursuance of a previous invitation. And the doctor sent up
+to desire my permission to attend me in my own apartment.
+
+You may believe it was easily granted.
+
+So the doctor came up.
+
+We had a conversation of near an hour before dinner: but, to my
+surprise, he waved every thing that would have led me to the subject I
+supposed he wanted to talk about. At last, I asked him, if it were not
+thought strange I should be so long absent from church? He made me some
+handsome compliments upon it: but said, for his part, he had ever made
+it a rule to avoid interfering in the private concerns of families,
+unless desired to do so.
+
+I was prodigiously disappointed; but supposing that he was thought too
+just a man to be made a judge of in this cause; I led no more to it:
+nor, when he was called down to dinner, did he take the least notice of
+leaving me behind him there.
+
+But this was not the first time since my confinement that I thought it a
+hardship not to dine below. And when I parted with him on the stairs, a
+tear would burst its way; and he hurried down; his own good-natured eyes
+glistening; for he saw it.--Nor trusted he his voice, lest the accent I
+suppose should have discovered his concern; departing in silence; though
+with his usual graceful obligingness.
+
+I hear that he praised me, and my part in the conversation that
+passed between us. To shew them, I suppose, that it was not upon the
+interesting subjects which I make no doubt he was desired not to enter
+upon.
+
+He left me so dissatisfied, yet so perplexed with this new way of
+treatment, that I never found myself so much disconcerted, and out of my
+train.
+
+But I was to be more so. This was to be a day of puzzle to me. Pregnant
+puzzle, if I may say so: for there must great meaning lie behind it.
+
+In the afternoon, all but my brother and sister went to church with
+the good doctor; who left his compliments for me. I took a walk in the
+garden. My brother and sister walked in it too, and kept me in their
+eye a good while, on purpose, as I thought, that I might see how gay and
+good-humoured they were together. At last they came down the walk that I
+was coming up, hand-in-hand, lover-like.
+
+Your servant, Miss--your servant, Sir--passed between my brother and me.
+
+Is it not coldish, Clary! in a kinder voice than usual, said my sister,
+and stopped.--I stopped and courtesied low to her half-courtesy.--I
+think not, Sister, said I.
+
+She went on. I courtesied without return; and proceeded, turning to my
+poultry-yard.
+
+By a shorter turn, arm-in-arm, they were there before me.
+
+I think, Clary, said my brother, you must present me with some of this
+breed, for Scotland.
+
+If you please, Brother.
+
+I'll choose for you, said my sister.
+
+And while I fed them, they pointed to half a dozen: yet intending
+nothing by it, I believe, but to shew a deal of love and good-humour to
+each other before me.
+
+My uncles next, (at their return from church) were to do me the honour
+of their notice. They bid Betty tell me, they would drink tea with me
+in my own apartment. Now, thought I, shall I have the subject of next
+Tuesday enforced upon me.
+
+But they contradicted the order for tea, and only my uncle Harlowe came
+up to me.
+
+Half-distant, half-affectionate, at his entering my chamber, was the
+air he put on to his daughter-niece, as he used to call me; and I threw
+myself at his feet, and besought his favour.
+
+None of these discomposures, Child. None of these apprehensions. You
+will now have every body's favour. All is coming about, my dear. I was
+impatient to see you. I could no longer deny myself this satisfaction.
+He then raised me, and kissed me, and called me charming creature!
+
+But he waved entering into any interesting subject. All will be well
+now. All will be right!--No more complainings! every body loves you!--I
+only came to make my earliest court to you! [were his condescending
+words] and to sit and talk of twenty and twenty fond things, as I used
+to do. And let every past disagreeable thing be forgotten; as if nothing
+had happened.
+
+He understood me as beginning to hint at the disgrace of my
+confinement--No disgrace my dear can fall to your lot: your reputation
+is too well established.--I longed to see you, repeated me--I have seen
+nobody half so amiable since I saw you last.
+
+And again he kissed my cheek, my glowing cheek; for I was impatient,
+I was vexed, to be thus, as I thought, played upon: And how could I be
+thankful for a visit, that (it was now evident) was only a too humble
+artifice, to draw me in against the next Tuesday, or to leave me
+inexcusable to them all?
+
+O my cunning brother!--This is his contrivance. And then my anger made
+me recollect the triumph in his and my sister's fondness for each other,
+as practised before me; and the mingled indignation flashing from their
+eyes, as arm-in-arm they spoke to me, and the forced condescension
+playing upon their lips, when they called me Clary, and Sister.
+
+Do you think I could, with these reflections, look upon my uncle
+Harlowe's visit as the favour he seemed desirous I should think it
+to be?--Indeed I could not; and seeing him so studiously avoid all
+recrimination, as I may call it, I gave into the affectation; and
+followed him in his talk of indifferent things: while he seemed to
+admire this thing and that, as if he had never seen them before; and
+now-and then condescendingly kissed the hand that wrought some of the
+things he fixed his eyes upon; not so much to admire them, as to find
+subjects to divert what was most in his head, and in my heart.
+
+At his going away--How can I leave you here by yourself, my dear? you,
+whose company used to enliven us all. You are not expected down indeed:
+but I protest I had a good mind to surprise your father and mother!--If
+I thought nothing would arise that would be disagreeable--My dear!
+my love! [O the dear artful gentleman! how could my uncle Harlowe so
+dissemble?] What say you? Will you give me your hands? Will you see your
+father? Can you stand his displeasure, on first seeing the dear creature
+who has given him and all of us so much disturbance? Can you promise
+future--
+
+He saw me rising in my temper--Nay, my dear, interrupting himself, if
+you cannot be all resignation, I would not have you think of it.
+
+My heart, struggling between duty and warmth of temper, was full. You
+know, my dear, I never could bear to be dealt meanly with!--How--how can
+you, Sir! you my Papa-uncle--How can you, Sir!--The poor girl!--for I
+could not speak with connexion.
+
+Nay, my dear, if you cannot be all duty, all resignation--better stay
+where you are.--But after the instance you have given--
+
+Instance I have given!--What instance, Sir?
+
+Well, well, Child, better stay where you are, if your past confinement
+hangs so heavy upon you--but now there will be a sudden end to
+it--Adieu, my dear!--Three words only--Let your compliance be
+sincere!--and love me, as you used to love me--your Grandfather did not
+do so much for you, as I will do for you.
+
+Without suffering me to reply, he hurried away, as I thought, like one
+who has been employed to act a part against his will, and was glad it
+was over.
+
+
+Don't you see, my dear Miss Howe, how they are all determined?--Have I
+not reason to dread next Tuesday?
+
+
+Up presently after came my sister:--to observe, I suppose, the way I was
+in.
+
+She found me in tears.
+
+Have you not a Thomas a Kempis, Sister? with a stiff air.
+
+I have, Madam.
+
+Madam!--How long are we to be at this distance, Clary?
+
+No longer, my dear Bella, if you allow me to call you sister. And I took
+her hand.
+
+No fawning neither, Girl!
+
+I withdrew my hand as hastily, as you may believe I should have done,
+had I, in feeling for one of your parcels under the wood, been bitten by
+a viper.
+
+I beg pardon, said I,--Too-too ready to make advances, I am always
+subjecting myself to contempts.
+
+People who know not how to keep a middle behaviour, said she, must ever
+do so.
+
+I will fetch you the Kempis, Sister. I did. Here it is. You will find
+excellent things, Bella, in that little book.
+
+I wish, retorted she, you had profited by them.
+
+I wish you may, said I. Example from a sister older than one's self is a
+fine thing.
+
+Older! saucy little fool!--And away she flung.
+
+What a captious old woman will my sister make, if she lives to be
+one!--demanding the reverence, perhaps, yet not aiming at the merit; and
+ashamed of the years that can only entitle her to the reverence.
+
+It is plain, from what I have related, that they think they have got me
+at some advantage by obtaining my consent to the interview: but if it
+were not, Betty's impertinence just now would make it evident. She has
+been complimenting me upon it; and upon the visit of my uncle Harlowe.
+She says, the difficulty now is more than half over with me. She is
+sure I would not see Mr. Solmes, but to have him. Now shall she be soon
+better employed than of late she has been. All hands will be at work.
+She loves dearly to have weddings go forward!--Who knows, whose turn
+will be next?
+
+I found in the afternoon a reply to my answer to Mr. Lovelace's letter.
+It is full of promises, full of vows of gratitude, of eternal gratitude,
+is his word, among others still more hyperbolic. Yet Mr. Lovelace, the
+least of any man whose letters I have seen, runs into those elevated
+absurdities. I should be apt to despise him for it, if he did. Such
+language looks always to me, as if the flatterer thought to find a woman
+a fool, or hoped to make her one.
+
+'He regrets my indifference to him; which puts all the hope he has in my
+favour upon the shocking usage I receive from my friends.
+
+'As to my charge upon him of unpoliteness and uncontroulableness--What
+[he asks] can he say? since being unable absolutely to vindicate
+himself, he has too much ingenuousness to attempt to do so: yet is
+struck dumb by my harsh construction, that his acknowledging temper
+is owing more to his carelessness to defend himself, than to his
+inclination to amend. He had never before met with the objections
+against his morals which I had raised, justly raised: and he was
+resolved to obviate them. What is it, he asks, that he has promised, but
+reformation by my example? And what occasion for the promise, if he
+had not faults, and those very great ones, to reform? He hopes
+acknowledgement of an error is no bad sign; although my severe virtue
+has interpreted it into one.
+
+'He believes I may be right (severely right, he calls it) in my judgment
+against making reprisals in the case of the intelligence he receives
+from my family: he cannot charge himself to be of a temper that leads
+him to be inquisitive into any body's private affairs; but hopes, that
+the circumstances of the case, and the strange conduct of my friends,
+will excuse him; especially when so much depends upon his knowing the
+movements of a family so violently bent, by measures right or wrong, to
+carry their point against me, in malice to him. People, he says, who act
+like angels, ought to have angels to deal with. For his part, he has not
+yet learned the difficult lesson of returning good for evil: and shall
+think himself the less encouraged to learn it by the treatment I have
+met with from the very persons who would trample upon him, as they do
+upon me, were he to lay himself under their feet.
+
+'He excuses himself for the liberties he owns he has heretofore taken in
+ridiculing the marriage-state. It is a subject, he says, that he has not
+of late treated so lightly. He owns it to be so trite, so beaten a
+topic with all libertines and witlings; so frothy, so empty, so nothing
+meaning, so worn-out a theme, that he is heartily ashamed of himself,
+ever to have made it his. He condemns it as a stupid reflection upon the
+laws and good order of society, and upon a man's own ancestors: and
+in himself, who has some reason to value himself upon his descent
+and alliances, more censurable, than in those who have not the same
+advantages to boast of. He promises to be more circumspect than ever,
+both in his words and actions, that he may be more and more worthy of
+my approbation; and that he may give an assurance before hand, that a
+foundation is laid in his mind for my example to work upon with equal
+reputation and effect to us both;--if he may be so happy to call me his.
+
+'He gives me up, as absolutely lost, if I go to my uncle Antony's; the
+close confinement; the moated house; the chapel; the implacableness of
+my brother and sister; and their power over the rest of the family,
+he sets forth in strong lights; and plainly says, that he must have a
+struggle to prevent my being carried thither.'
+
+Your kind, your generous endeavours to interest your mother in my
+behalf, will, I hope, prevent those harsher extremities to which I might
+be otherwise driven. And to you I will fly, if permitted, and keep all
+my promises, of not corresponding with any body, not seeing any body,
+but by your mother's direction and yours.
+
+I will close and deposit at this place. It is not necessary to say, how
+much I am
+
+Your ever affectionate and obliged CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXXII
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE
+
+
+I am glad my papers are safe in your hands. I will make it my endeavour
+to deserve your good opinion, that I may not at once disgrace your
+judgment, and my own heart.
+
+I have another letter from Mr. Lovelace. He is extremely apprehensive of
+the meeting I am to have with Mr. Solmes to-morrow. He says, 'that the
+airs that wretch gives himself on the occasion add to his concern; and
+it is with infinite difficulty that he prevails upon himself not to make
+him a visit to let him know what he may expect, if compulsion be used
+towards me in his favour. He assures me, that Solmes has actually talked
+with tradesmen of new equipages, and names the people in town with whom
+he has treated: that he has even' [Was there ever such a horrid wretch!]
+'allotted this and that apartment in his house, for a nursery, and other
+offices.'
+
+How shall I bear to hear such a creature talk of love to me? I shall be
+out of all patience with him. Besides, I thought that he did not dare
+to make or talk of these impudent preparations.--So inconsistent as such
+are with my brother's views--but I fly the subject.
+
+Upon this confidence of Solmes, you will less wonder at that of
+Lovelace, 'in pressing me in the name of all his family, to escape
+from so determined a violence as is intended to be offered to me at my
+uncle's: that the forward contriver should propose Lord M.'s chariot and
+six to be at the stile that leads up to the lonely coppice adjoining to
+our paddock. You will see how audaciously he mentions settlements ready
+drawn; horsemen ready to mount; and one of his cousins Montague to be
+in the chariot, or at the George in the neighbouring village, waiting
+to accompany me to Lord M.'s, or to Lady Betty's or Lady Sarah's, or to
+town, as I please; and upon such orders, or conditions, and under such
+restrictions, as to himself, as I shall prescribe.'
+
+You will see how he threatens, 'To watch and waylay them, and to rescue
+me as he calls it, by an armed force of friends and servants, if they
+attempt to carry me against my will to my uncle's; and this, whether I
+give my consent to the enterprise, or not:--since he shall have no hopes
+if I am once there.'
+
+O my dear friend! Who can think of these things, and not be extremely
+miserable in her apprehensions!
+
+This mischievous sex! What had I to do with any of them; or they
+with me?--I had deserved this, were it by my own seeking, by my own
+giddiness, that I had brought myself into this situation--I wish with
+all my heart--but how foolish we are apt to wish when we find ourselves
+unhappy, and know not how to help ourselves!
+
+On your mother's goodness, however, is my reliance. If I can but avoid
+being precipitated on either hand, till my cousin Morden arrives, a
+reconciliation must follow; and all will be happy.
+
+I have deposited a letter for Mr. Lovelace; in which 'I charge him, as
+he would not disoblige me for ever, to avoid any rash step, any visit to
+Mr. Solmes, which may be followed by acts of violence.'
+
+I re-assure him, 'That I will sooner die than be that man's wife.
+
+'Whatever be my usage, whatever shall be the result of the apprehended
+interview, I insist upon it that he presume not to offer violence to
+any of my friends: and express myself highly displeased, that he should
+presume upon such an interest in my esteem, as to think himself entitled
+to dispute my father's authority in my removal to my uncle's; although I
+tell him, that I will omit neither prayers nor contrivance, even to the
+making myself ill, to avoid going.'
+
+To-morrow is Tuesday! How soon comes upon us the day we dread!--Oh that
+a deep sleep of twenty four hours would seize my faculties!--But then
+the next day would be Tuesday, as to all the effects and purposes for
+which I so much dread it. If this reach you before the event of the so
+much apprehended interview can be known, pray for
+
+Your CLARISSA HARLOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXXIII
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE TUESDAY MORNING, SIX O'CLOCK.
+
+
+The day is come!--I wish it were happily over. I have had a wretched
+night. Hardly a wink have I slept, ruminating upon the approaching
+interview. The very distance of time to which they consented, has added
+solemnity to the meeting, which otherwise it would not have had.
+
+A thoughtful mind is not a blessing to be coveted, unless it had such a
+happy vivacity with it as yours: a vivacity, which enables a person to
+enjoy the present, without being over-anxious about the future.
+
+
+TUESDAY, ELEVEN O'CLOCK.
+
+I have had a visit from my aunt Hervey. Betty, in her alarming way, told
+me, I should have a lady to breakfast with me, whom I little expected;
+giving me to believe it was my mother. This fluttered me so much, on
+hearing a lady coming up-stairs, supposing it was she, (and not knowing
+how to account for her motives in such a visit, after I had been so long
+banished from her presence,) that my aunt, at her entrance, took notice
+of my disorder; and, after her first salutation,
+
+Why, Miss, said she, you seem surprised.--Upon my word, you thoughtful
+young ladies have strange apprehensions about nothing at all. What,
+taking my hand, can be the matter with you?--Why, my dear, tremble,
+tremble, tremble, at this rate? You'll not be fit to be seen by any
+body. Come, my love, kissing my cheek, pluck up a courage. By this
+needless flutter on the approaching interview, when it is over you will
+judge of your other antipathies, and laugh at yourself for giving way to
+so apprehensive an imagination.
+
+I said, that whatever we strongly imagined, was in its effect at the
+time more than imaginary, although to others it might not appear so:
+that I had not rested one hour all night: that the impertinent set over
+me, by giving me room to think my mother was coming up, had so much
+disconcerted me, that I should be very little qualified to see any body
+I disliked to see.
+
+There was no accounting for these things, she said. Mr. Solmes last
+night supposed he should be under as much agitation as I could be.
+
+Who is it, then, Madam, that so reluctant an interview on both sides, is
+to please?
+
+Both of you, my dear, I hope, after the first flurries are over. The
+most apprehensive beginnings, I have often known, make the happiest
+conclusions.
+
+There can be but one happy conclusion to the intended visit; and that
+is, That both sides may be satisfied it will be the last.
+
+She then represented how unhappy it would be for me, if I did not suffer
+myself to be prevailed upon: she pressed me to receive Mr. Solmes
+as became my education: and declared, that his apprehensions on the
+expectation he had of seeing me, were owing to his love and his awe;
+intimating, That true love is ever accompanied by fear and reverence;
+and that no blustering, braving lover could deserve encouragement.
+
+To this I answered, That constitution was to be considered: that a
+man of spirit would act like one, and could do nothing meanly: that
+a creeping mind would creep into every thing, where it had a view to
+obtain a benefit by it; and insult, where it had power, and nothing to
+expect: that this was not a point now to be determined with me: that
+I had said as much as I could possibly say on the subject: that this
+interview was imposed upon me: by those, indeed, who had a right to
+impose it: but that it was sorely against my will complied with: and for
+this reason, that there was aversion, not wilfulness, in the case; and
+so nothing could come of it, but a pretence, as I much apprehended, to
+use me still more severely than I had been used.
+
+She was then pleased to charge me with prepossession and prejudice. She
+expatiated upon the duty of a child. She imputed to me abundance of fine
+qualities; but told me, that, in this case, that of persuadableness was
+wanting to crown all. She insisted upon the merit of obedience, although
+my will were not in it. From a little hint I gave of my still greater
+dislike to see Mr. Solmes, on account of the freedom I had treated him
+with, she talked to me of his forgiving disposition; of his infinite
+respect for me; and I cannot tell what of this sort.
+
+I never found myself so fretful in my life: and so I told my aunt; and
+begged her pardon for it. But she said, it was well disguised then; for
+she saw nothing but little tremors, which were usual with young ladies
+when they were to see their admirers for the first time; and this might
+be called so, with respect to me; since it was the first time I had
+consented to see Mr. Solmes in that light--but that the next--
+
+How, Madam, interrupted I--Is it then imagined, that I give this meeting
+on that footing?
+
+To be sure it is, Child.
+
+To be sure it is, Madam! Then I do yet desire to decline it.--I will
+not, I cannot, see him, if he expects me to see him upon those terms.
+
+Niceness, punctilio, mere punctilio, Niece!--Can you think that your
+appointment, (day, place, hour,) and knowing what the intent of it was,
+is to be interpreted away as a mere ceremony, and to mean nothing?--Let
+me tell you, my dear, your father, mother, uncles, every body, respect
+this appointment as the first act of your compliance with their wills:
+and therefore recede not, I desire you; but make a merit of what cannot
+be avoided.
+
+O the hideous wretch!--Pardon me, Madam.--I to be supposed to meet
+such a man as that, with such a view! and he to be armed with such an
+expectation!--But it cannot be that he expects it, whatever others may
+do.--It is plain he cannot, by the fears he tell you all he shall have
+to see me. If his hope were so audacious, he could not fear so much.
+
+Indeed, he has this hope; and justly founded too. But his fear arises
+from his reverence, as I told you before.
+
+His reverence!--his unworthiness!--'Tis so apparent, that even he
+himself sees it, as well as every body else. Hence his offers
+to purchase me! Hence it is, that settlements are to make up for
+acknowledged want of merit!
+
+His unworthiness, say you!--Not so fast, my dear. Does not this look
+like setting a high value upon yourself?--We all have exalted notions of
+your merit, Niece; but nevertheless, it would not be wrong, if you were
+to arrogate less to yourself; though more were to be your due than your
+friends attribute to you.
+
+I am sorry, Madam, it should be thought arrogance in me, to suppose I am
+not worthy of a better man than Mr. Solmes, both as to person and mind:
+and as to fortune, I thank God I despise all that can be insisted upon
+in his favour from so poor a plea.
+
+She told me, It signified nothing to talk: I knew the expectation of
+every one.
+
+Indeed I did not. It was impossible I could think of such a strange
+expectation, upon a compliance made only to shew I would comply in all
+that was in my power to comply with.
+
+I might easily, she said, have supposed, that every one thought I was
+beginning to oblige them all, by the kind behaviour of my brother and
+sister to me in the garden, last Sunday; by my sister's visit to me
+afterwards in my chamber (although both more stiffly received by me,
+than were either wished or expected); by my uncle Harlowe's affectionate
+visit to me the same afternoon, not indeed so very gratefully received
+as I used to receive his favours:--but this he kindly imputed to the
+displeasure I had conceived at my confinement, and to my intention to
+come off by degrees, that I might keep myself in countenance for my past
+opposition.
+
+See, my dear, the low cunning of that Sunday-management, which then
+so much surprised me! And see the reason why Dr. Lewen was admitted to
+visit me, yet forbore to enter upon a subject about which I thought he
+came to talk to me!--For it seems there was no occasion to dispute with
+me on the point I was to be supposed to have conceded to.--See, also,
+how unfairly my brother and sister must have represented their pretended
+kindness, when (though the had an end to answer by appearing kind) their
+antipathy to me seems to have been so strong, that they could not help
+insulting me by their arm-in-arm lover-like behaviour to each other; as
+my sister afterwards likewise did, when she came to borrow my Kempis.
+
+I lifted up my hands and eyes! I cannot, said I, give this treatment a
+name! The end so unlikely to be answered by means so low! I know whose
+the whole is! He that could get my uncle Harlowe to contribute his part,
+and to procure the acquiescence of the rest of my friends to it, must
+have the power to do any thing with them against me.
+
+Again my aunt told me, that talking and invective, now I had given the
+expectation, would signify nothing. She hoped I would not shew every
+one, that they had been too forward in their constructions of my desire
+to oblige them. She could assure me, that it would be worse for me, if
+now I receded, than if I had never advanced.
+
+Advanced, Madam! How can you say advanced? Why, this is a trick upon
+me! A poor low trick! Pardon me, Madam, I don't say you have a hand in
+it.--But, my dearest Aunt, tell me, Will not my mother be present at
+this dreaded interview? Will she not so far favour me? Were it but to
+qualify--
+
+Qualify, my dear, interrupted she--your mother, and your uncle Harlowe
+would not be present on this occasion for the world--
+
+O then, Madam, how can they look upon my consent to this interview as an
+advance?
+
+My aunt was displeased at this home-push. Miss Clary, said she, there is
+no dealing with you. It would be happy for you, and for every body else,
+were your obedience as ready as your wit. I will leave you--
+
+Not in anger, I hope, Madam, interrupted I--all I meant was, to observe,
+that let the meeting issue as it may, and as it must issue, it cannot be
+a disappointment to any body.
+
+O Miss! you seem to be a very determined young creature. Mr. Solmes
+will be here at your time: and remember once more, that upon the coming
+afternoon depend upon the peace of your whole family, and your own
+happiness.
+
+And so saying, down she hurried.
+
+Here I will stop. In what way I shall resume, or when, is not left to
+me to conjecture; much less determine. I am excessively uneasy!--No good
+news from your mother, I doubt!--I will deposit thus far, for fear of
+the worst.
+
+Adieu, my best, rather, my only friend! CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXXIV
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE TUESDAY EVENING; AND CONTINUED
+THROUGH THE NIGHT.
+
+Well, my dear, I am alive, and here! but how long I shall be either
+here, or alive, I cannot say. I have a vast deal to write; and perhaps
+shall have little time for it. Nevertheless, I must tell you how the
+saucy Betty again discomposed me, when she came up with this Solmes's
+message; although, as you will remember from my last, I was in a way
+before that wanted no additional surprises.
+
+Miss! Miss! Miss! cried she, as fast as she could speak, with her arms
+spread abroad, and all her fingers distended, and held up, will you be
+pleased to walk down into your own parlour?--There is every body, I will
+assure you in full congregation!--And there is Mr. Solmes, as fine as a
+lord, with a charming white peruke, fine laced shirt and ruffles, coat
+trimmed with silver, and a waistcoat standing on end with lace!--Quite
+handsome, believe me!--You never saw such an alteration!--Ah! Miss,
+shaking her head, 'tis pity you have said so much against him! but you
+will know how to come off for all that!--I hope it will not be too late!
+
+Impertinence! said I--Wert thou bid to come up in this fluttering
+way?--and I took up my fan, and fanned myself.
+
+Bless me! said she, how soon these fine young ladies will be put into
+flusterations!--I mean not either to offend or frighten you, I am
+sure.--
+
+Every body there, do you say?--Who do you call every body?
+
+Why, Miss, holding out her left palm opened, and with a flourish, and
+a saucy leer, patting it with the fore finger of the other, at every
+mentioned person, there is your papa!--there is your mamma!--there is
+your uncle Harlowe!--there is your uncle Antony!--your aunt Hervey!--my
+young lady!--and my young master!--and Mr. Solmes, with the air of a
+great courtier, standing up, because he named you:--Mrs. Betty, said he,
+[then the ape of a wench bowed and scraped, as awkwardly as I suppose
+the person did whom she endeavoured to imitate,] pray give my humble
+service to Miss, and tell her, I wait her commands.
+
+Was not this a wicked wench?--I trembled so, I could hardly stand. I was
+spiteful enough to say, that her young mistress, I supposed, bid her put
+on these airs, to frighten me out of a capacity of behaving so calmly as
+should procure me my uncles' compassion.
+
+What a way do you put yourself in, Miss, said the insolent!--Come, dear
+Madam, taking up my fan, which I had laid down, and approaching me with
+it, fanning, shall I--
+
+None of thy impertinence!--But say you, all my friends are below with
+him? And am I to appear before them all?
+
+I can't tell if they'll stay when you come. I think they seemed to be
+moving when Mr. Solmes gave me his orders.--But what answer shall I
+carry to the 'squire?
+
+Say, I can't go!--but yet when 'tis over, 'tis over!--Say, I'll wait
+upon--I'll attend--I'll come presently--say anything; I care not
+what--but give me my fan, and fetch me a glass of water--
+
+She went, and I fanned myself all the time; for I was in a flame; and
+hemmed, and struggled with myself all I could; and, when she returned,
+drank my water; and finding no hope presently of a quieter heart, I sent
+her down, and followed her with precipitation; trembling so, that, had
+I not hurried, I question if I could have got down at all.--Oh my dear,
+what a poor, passive machine is the body when the mind is disordered!
+
+There are two doors to my parlour, as I used to call it. As I entered
+one, my friends hurried out the other. I just saw the gown of my sister,
+the last who slid away. My uncle Antony went out with them: but he staid
+not long, as you shall hear; and they all remained in the next parlour,
+a wainscot partition only parting the two. I remember them both in one:
+but they were separated in favour of us girls, for each to receive her
+visitors in at her pleasure.
+
+Mr. Solmes approached me as soon as I entered, cringing to the ground,
+a visible confusion in every feature of his face. After half a dozen
+choaked-up Madams,--he was very sorry--he was very much concerned--it
+was his misfortune--and there he stopped, being unable presently to
+complete a sentence.
+
+This gave me a little more presence of mind. Cowardice in a foe begets
+courage in one's self--I see that plainly now--yet perhaps, at bottom,
+the new-made bravo is a greater coward than the other.
+
+I turned from him, and seated myself in one of the fireside chairs,
+fanning myself. I have since recollected, that I must have looked
+very saucily. Could I have had any thoughts of the man, I should have
+despised myself for it. But what can be said in the case of an aversion
+so perfectly sincere?
+
+He hemmed five or six times, as I had done above; and these produced a
+sentence--that I could not but see his confusion. This sentence produced
+two or three more. I believe my aunt had been his tutoress; for it was
+his awe, his reverence for so superlative a Lady [I assure you!] And he
+hoped--he hoped--three times he hoped, before he told me what--at
+last it came out, that I was too generous (generosity, he said, was my
+character) to despise him for such--for such--for such--true tokens of
+his love.
+
+I do indeed see you under some confusion, Sir; and this gives me hope,
+that although I have been compelled, as I may call it, to give way
+to this interview, it may be attended with happier effects than I had
+apprehended from it.
+
+He had hemmed himself into more courage.
+
+You could not, Madam, imagine any creature so blind to your merits,
+and so little attracted by them, as easily to forego the interest and
+approbation he was honoured with by your worthy family, while he had
+any hope given him, that one day he might, by his perseverance and zeal,
+expect your favour.
+
+I am but too much aware, Sir, that it is upon the interest and
+approbation you mention, that you build such hope. It is impossible
+otherwise, that a man, who has any regard for his own happiness, would
+persevere against such declarations as I have made, and think myself
+obliged to make, in justice to you, as well as to myself.
+
+He had seen many instances, he told me, and had heard of more, where
+ladies had seemed as averse, and yet had been induced, some by motives
+of compassion, others by persuasion of friends, to change their minds;
+and had been very happy afterwards: and he hoped this might be the case
+here.
+
+I have no notion, Sir, of compliment, in an article of such importance
+as this: yet I am sorry to be obliged to speak my mind so plainly as I
+am going to do.--Know then, that I have invincible objections, Sir, to
+your address. I have avowed them with an earnestness that I believe is
+without example: and why?--because I believe it is without example that
+any young creature, circumstanced as I am, was ever treated as I have
+been treated on your account.
+
+It is hoped, Madam, that your consent may in time be obtained--that is
+the hope; and I shall be a miserable man if it cannot.
+
+Better, Sir, give me leave to say, you were miserable by yourself, than
+that you should make two so.
+
+You may have heard, Madam, things to my disadvantage. No man is without
+enemies. Be pleased to let me know what you have heard, and I will
+either own my faults, and amend; or I will convince you that I am basely
+bespattered: and once I understand you overheard something that I should
+say, that gave you offence: unguardedly, perhaps; but nothing but what
+shewed my value, and that I would persist so long as I have hope.
+
+I have indeed heard many things to your disadvantage:--and I was far
+from being pleased with what I overheard fall from your lips: but as you
+were not any thing to me, and never could be, it was not for me to be
+concerned about the one or the other.
+
+I am sorry, Madam, to hear this. I am sure you should not tell me of my
+fault, that I would be unwilling to correct in myself.
+
+Then, Sir, correct this fault--do not wish to have a young creature
+compelled in the most material article of her life, for the sake of
+motives she despises; and in behalf of a person she cannot value: one
+that has, in her own right, sufficient to set her above all your offers,
+and a spirit that craves no more than what it has, to make itself easy
+and happy.
+
+I don't see, Madam, how you would be happy, if I were to discontinue my
+address: for--
+
+That is nothing to you, Sir, interrupted I: do you but withdraw your
+pretensions: and if it will be thought fit to start up another man for
+my punishment, the blame will not lie at your door. You will be entitled
+to my thanks, and most heartily will I thank you.
+
+He paused, and seemed a little at a loss: and I was going to give him
+still stronger and more personal instances of my plain-dealing; when in
+came my uncle Antony.
+
+So, Niece, so!--sitting in state like a queen, giving audience! haughty
+audience!--Mr. Solmes, why stand you thus humbly?--Why this distance,
+man? I hope to see you upon a more intimate footing before we part.
+
+I arose, as soon as he entered--and approached him with a bend knee: Let
+me, Sir, reverence my uncle, whom I have not for so long time seen!--Let
+me, Sir, bespeak your favour and compassion.
+
+You will have the favour of every body, Niece, when you know how to
+deserve it.
+
+If ever I deserved it, I deserve it now.--I have been hardly used!--I
+have made proposals that ought to be accepted, and such as would not
+have been asked of me. What have I done, that I must be banished and
+confined thus disgracefully? that I must not be allowed to have any
+free-will in an article that concerns my present and future happiness?--
+
+Miss Clary, replied my uncle, you have had your will in every thing till
+now; and this makes your parents' will sit so heavy upon you.
+
+My will, Sir! be pleased to allow me to ask, what was my will till now,
+but my father's will, and yours and my uncle Harlowe's will?--Has it not
+been my pride to obey and oblige?--I never asked a favour, that I did
+not first sit down and consider, if it were fit to be granted. And now,
+to shew my obedience, have I not offered to live single?--Have I not
+offered to divest myself of my grandfather's bounty, and to cast myself
+upon my father's! and that to be withdrawn, whenever I disoblige him?
+Why, dear, good Sir, am I to be made unhappy in a point so concerning my
+happiness?
+
+Your grandfather's estate is not wished from you. You are not desired
+to live a single life. You know our motives, and we guess at yours. And,
+let me tell you, well as we love you, we should much sooner choose to
+follow you to the grave, than that yours should take place.
+
+I will engage never to marry any man, without my father's consent, and
+yours, Sir, and every body's. Did I ever give you cause to doubt my
+word?--And here I will take the solemnest oath that can be offered me--
+
+That is the matrimonial one, interrupted he, with a big voice--and to
+this gentleman.--It shall, it shall, cousin Clary!--And the more you
+oppose it, the worse it shall be for you.
+
+This, and before the man, who seemed to assume courage upon it, highly
+provoked me.
+
+Then, Sir, you shall sooner follow me to the grave indeed.--I will
+undergo the cruelest death--I will even consent to enter into that awful
+vault of my ancestors, and have that bricked up upon me, rather than
+consent to be miserable for life. And, Mr. Solmes, turning to him, take
+notice of what I say: This or any death, I will sooner undergo [that
+will quickly be over] than be yours, and for ever unhappy!
+
+My uncle was in a terrible rage upon this. He took Mr. Solmes by the
+hand, shocked as the man seemed to be, and drew him to the window--Don't
+be surprised, Mr. Solmes, don't be concerned at this. We know, and rapt
+out a sad oath, what women will say in their wrath: the wind is not more
+boisterous, nor more changeable; and again he swore to that.--If you
+think it worthwhile to wait for such an ungrateful girl as this, I'll
+engage she'll veer about; I'll engage she shall. And a third time
+violently swore to it.
+
+Then coming up to me (who had thrown myself, very much disordered by my
+vehemence, into the most distant window) as if he would have beat me;
+his face violently working, his hands clinched, and his teeth set--Yes,
+yes, yes, you shall, Cousin Clary, be Mr. Solmes's wife; we will see
+that you shall; and this in one week at farthest.--And then a fourth
+time he confirmed it!--Poor gentleman! how he swore!
+
+I am sorry, Sir, said I, to see you in such a passion. All this, I am
+but too sensible, is owing to my brother's instigation; who would not
+himself give the instance of duty that is sought to be exacted from me.
+It is best for me to withdraw. I shall but provoke you farther, I fear:
+for although I would gladly obey you if I could, yet this is a point
+determined with me; and I cannot so much as wish to get over it.
+
+How could I avoid making these strong declarations, the man in presence?
+
+I was going out at the door I came in at; the gentlemen looking upon one
+another, as if referring to each other what to do, or whether to engage
+my stay, or suffer me to go; and whom should I meet at the door but my
+brother, who had heard all that had passed!
+
+He bolted upon me so unexpectedly, that I was surprised. He took my
+hand, and grasped it with violence: Return, pretty Miss, said he;
+return, if you please. You shall not yet be bricked up. Your instigating
+brother shall save you from that!--O thou fallen angel, said he, peering
+up to my downcast face--such a sweetness here!--and such an obstinacy
+there! tapping my neck--O thou true woman--though so young!--But you
+shall not have your rake: remember that; in a loud whisper, as if he
+would be decently indecent before the man. You shall be redeemed, and
+this worthy gentleman, raising his voice, will be so good as to redeem
+you from ruin--and hereafter you will bless him, or have reason to bless
+him, for his condescension; that was the brutal brother's word!
+
+He had led me up to meet Mr. Solmes, whose hand he took, as he held
+mine. Here, Sir, said he, take the rebel daughter's hand: I give it you
+now: she shall confirm the gift in a week's time; or will have neither
+father, mother, nor uncles, to boast of.
+
+I snatched my hand away.
+
+How now, Miss--!
+
+And how now, Sir!--What right have you to dispose of my hand?--If you
+govern every body else, you shall not govern me; especially in a point
+so immediately relative to myself, and in which you neither have, nor
+ever shall have, any thing to do.
+
+I would have broken from him; but he held my hand too fast.
+
+Let me go, Sir!--Why am I thus treated?--You design, I doubt not, with
+your unmanly gripings, to hurt me, as you do: But again I ask, wherefore
+is it that I am to be thus treated by you?
+
+He tossed my hand from him with a whirl, that pained my very shoulder. I
+wept, and held my other hand to the part.
+
+Mr. Solmes blamed him. So did my uncle.
+
+He had no patience, he said, with such a perverse one; and to think of
+the reflections upon himself, before he entered. He had only given me
+back the hand I had not deserved he should touch. It was one of my arts
+to pretend to be so pained.
+
+Mr. Solmes said, he would sooner give up all his hopes of me, than that
+I should be used unkindly.--And he offered to plead in my behalf to them
+both; and applied himself with a bow, as if for my approbation of his
+interposition.
+
+Interpose not, Mr. Solmes, said I, to save me from my brother's
+violence. I cannot wish to owe an obligation to a man whose ungenerous
+perseverance is the occasion of that violence, and of all my disgraceful
+sufferings.
+
+How generous in you, Mr. Solmes, said my brother, to interpose so kindly
+in behalf of such an immovable spirit! I beg of you to persist in your
+address--the unnatural brother called it address!--For all our family's
+sake, and for her sake too, if you love her, persist!--Let us save her,
+if possible, from ruining herself. Look at her person! [and he gazed at
+me, from head to foot, pointing at me, as he referred to Mr. Solmes,]
+think of her fine qualities!--all the world confesses them, and we all
+gloried in her till now. She is worth saving; and, after two or three
+more struggles, she will be yours, and take my word for it, will reward
+your patience. Talk not, therefore, of giving up your hopes, for a
+little whining folly. She has entered upon a parade, which she knows
+not how to quit with a female grace. You have only her pride and her
+obstinacy to encounter: and depend upon it, you will be as happy a man
+in a fortnight, as a married man can be.
+
+You have heard me say, my dear, that my brother has always taken a
+liberty to reflect upon our sex, and upon matrimony!--He would not, if
+he did not think it wit to do so!--Just as poor Mr. Wyerley, and others,
+whom we both know, profane and ridicule scripture; and all to evince
+their pretensions to the same pernicious talent, and to have it thought
+they are too wise to be religious.
+
+Mr. Solmes, with a self-satisfied air, presumptuously said, he would
+suffer every thing, to oblige my family, and to save me: and doubted not
+to be amply rewarded, could he be so happy as to succeed at last.
+
+Mr. Solmes, said I, if you have any regard for your own happiness, (mine
+is out of the question with you, you have not generosity enough to make
+that any part of your scheme,) prosecute no father your address, as my
+brother calls it. It is but too just to tell you, that I could not bring
+my heart so much as to think of you, without the utmost disapprobation,
+before I was used as I have been:--And can you think I am such a slave,
+such a poor slave, as to be brought to change my mind by the violent
+usage I have met with?
+
+And you, Sir, turning to my brother, if you think that meekness always
+indicates tameness; and that there is no magnanimity without bluster;
+own yourself mistaken for once: for you shall have reason to judge from
+henceforth, that a generous mind is not to be forced; and that--
+
+No more, said the imperious wretch, I charge you, lifting up his hands
+and eyes. Then turning to my uncle, Do you hear, Sir? this is your once
+faultless niece! This is your favourite!
+
+Mr. Solmes looked as if he know not what to think of the matter; and had
+I been left alone with him, I saw plainly I could have got rid of him
+easily enough.
+
+My uncle came to me, looking up also to my face, and down to my feet:
+and is it possible this can be you? All this violence from you, Miss
+Clary?
+
+Yes, it is possible, Sir--and, I will presume to say, this vehemence on
+my side is but the natural consequence of the usage I have met with, and
+the rudeness I am treated with, even in your presence, by a brother, who
+has no more right to controul me, than I have to controul him.
+
+This usage, cousin Clary, was not till all other means were tried with
+you.
+
+Tried! to what end, Sir?--Do I contend for any thing more than a mere
+negative? You may, Sir, [turning to Mr. Solmes,] possibly you may be
+induced the rather to persevere thus ungenerously, as the usage I have
+met with for your sake, and what you have now seen offered to me by my
+brother, will shew you what I can bear, were my evil destiny ever to
+make me yours.
+
+Lord, Madam, cried Solmes, [all this time distorted into twenty
+different attitudes, as my brother and my uncle were blessing
+themselves, and speaking only to each other by their eyes, and by their
+working features; Lord, Madam,] what a construction is this!
+
+A fair construction, Sir, interrupted I: for he that can see a person,
+whom he pretends to value, thus treated, and approve of it, must be
+capable of treating her thus himself. And that you do approve of it,
+is evident by your declared perseverance, when you know I am confined,
+banished, and insulted, in order to make me consent to be what I never
+can be: and this, let me tell you, as I have often told others, not from
+motives of obstinacy, but aversion.
+
+Excuse me, Sir, turning to my uncle--to you, as to my father's brother,
+I owe duty. I beg your pardon, but my brother; he shall not constrain
+me.--And [turning to the unnatural wretch--I will call him wretch] knit
+your brows, Sir, and frown all you will, I will ask you, would you, in
+my case, make the sacrifices I am willing to make, to obtain every one's
+favour? If not, what right have you to treat me thus; and to procure me
+to be treated as I have been for so long a time past?
+
+I had put myself by this time into great disorder: they were silent, and
+seemed by their looks to want to talk to one another (walking about in
+violent disorders too) between whiles. I sat down fanning myself, (as
+it happened, against the glass,) and I could perceive my colour go and
+come; and being sick to the very heart, and apprehensive of fainting, I
+rung.
+
+Betty came in. I called for a glass of water, and drank it: but nobody
+minded me. I heard my brother pronounce the words, Art! Female Art!
+to Solmes; which, together with the apprehension that he would not be
+welcome, I suppose kept him back. Else I could see the man was affected.
+And (still fearing I should faint) I arose, and taking hold of Betty's
+arm, let me hold by you, Betty, said I: let me withdraw. And moved
+with trembling feet towards the door, and then turned about, and made a
+courtesy to my uncle--Permit me, Sir, said I, to withdraw.
+
+Whither go you, Niece? said my uncle: we have not done with you yet.
+I charge you depart not. Mr. Solmes has something to open to you, that
+will astonish you--and you shall hear it.
+
+Only, Sir, by your leave, for a few minutes into the air. I will return,
+if you command it. I will hear all that I am to hear; that it may be
+over now and for ever.--You will go with me, Betty?
+
+And so, without any farther prohibition, I retired into the garden; and
+there casting myself upon the first seat, and throwing Betty's apron
+over my face, leaning against her side, my hands between hers, I gave
+way to a violent burst of grief, or passion, or both; which, as it
+seemed, saved my heart from breaking, for I was sensible of an immediate
+relief.
+
+I have already given you specimens of Mrs. Betty's impertinence. I shall
+not, therefore, trouble you with more: for the wench, notwithstanding
+this my distress, took great liberties with me, after she saw me a
+little recovered, and as I walked farther into the garden; insomuch
+that I was obliged to silence her by an absolute prohibition of saying
+another word to me; and then she dropped behind me sullen and gloomy.
+
+It was near an hour before I was sent for in again. The messenger was
+my cousin Dolly Hervey, who, with an eye of compassion and respect, (for
+Miss Hervey always loved me, and calls herself my scholar, as you know,)
+told my company was desired.
+
+Betty left us.
+
+Who commands my attendance, Miss? said I--Have you not been in tears, my
+dear?
+
+Who can forbid tears? said she.
+
+Why, what is the matter, cousin Dolly?--Sure, nobody is entitled to weep
+in this family, but me!
+
+Yes, I am, Madam, said she, because I love you.
+
+I kissed her: And is it for me, my sweet Cousin, that you shed
+tears?--There never was love lost between us: but tell me, what is
+designed to be done with me, that I have this kind instance of your
+compassion for me?
+
+You must take no notice of what I tell you, said the dear girl: but my
+mamma has been weeping for you, too, with me; but durst not let any body
+see it: O my Dolly, said my mamma, there never was so set a malice
+in man as in your cousin James Harlowe. They will ruin the flower and
+ornament of their family.
+
+As how, Miss Dolly?--Did she not explain herself?--As how, my dear?
+
+Yes; she said, Mr. Solmes would have given up his claim to you; for he
+said, you hated him, and there were no hopes; and your mamma was willing
+he should; and to have you taken at your word, to renounce Mr. Lovelace
+and to live single. My mamma was for it too; for they heard all that
+passed between you and uncle Antony, and cousin James; saying, it was
+impossible to think of prevailing upon you to have Mr. Solmes. Uncle
+Harlowe seemed in the same way of thinking; at least, my mamma says he
+did not say any thing to the contrary. But your papa was immovable, and
+was angry at your mamma and mine upon it.--And hereupon your brother,
+your sister, and my uncle Antony, joined in, and changed the scene
+entirely. In short, she says, that Mr. Solmes had great matters engaged
+to him. He owned, that you were the finest young lady in England, and
+he would be content to be but little beloved, if he could not, after
+marriage, engage your heart, for the sake of having the honour to call
+you his but for one twelvemonth--I suppose he would break your heart the
+next--for he is a cruel-hearted man, I am sure.
+
+My friends may break my heart, cousin Dolly; but Mr. Solmes will never
+have it in his power to break it.
+
+I do not know that, Miss: you will have good luck to avoid having him,
+by what I can find; for my mamma says, they are all now of one mind,
+herself excepted; and she is forced to be silent, your papa and brother
+are both so outrageous.
+
+I am got above minding my brother, cousin Dolly:--he is but my brother.
+But to my father I owe duty and obedience, if I could comply.
+
+We are apt to be fond of any body that will side with us, when oppressed
+or provoked. I always loved my cousin Dolly; but now she endeared
+herself to me ten times more, by her soothing concern for me. I asked
+what she would do, were she in my case?
+
+Without hesitation, she replied, have Mr. Lovelace out of hand, and take
+up her own estate, if she were me; and there would be an end to it.--And
+Mr. Lovelace, she said, was a fine gentleman:--Mr. Solmes was not worthy
+to buckle his shoes.
+
+Miss Hervey told me further, that her mother was desired to come to me,
+to fetch me in; but she excused herself. I should have all my friends,
+she said, she believed, sit in judgment upon me.
+
+I wish it had been so. But, as I have been told since, neither my father
+for my mother would trust themselves with seeing me: the one it seems
+for passion sake; my mother for tender considerations.
+
+By this time we entered the house. Miss accompanied me into the parlour,
+and left me, as a person devoted, I then thought.
+
+Nobody was there. I sat down, and had leisure to weep; reflecting upon
+what my cousin Dolly had told me.
+
+They were all in my sister's parlour adjoining: for I heard a confused
+mixture of voices, some louder than others, which drowned the more
+compassionating accents.
+
+Female accents I could distinguish the drowned ones to be. O my dear!
+what a hard-hearted sex is the other! Children of the same parents, how
+came they by their cruelty?--Do they get it by travel?--Do they get
+it by conversation with one another?--Or how do they get it?--Yet my
+sister, too, is as hard-hearted as any of them. But this may be no
+exception neither: for she has been thought to be masculine in her air
+and her spirit. She has then, perhaps, a soul of the other sex in a body
+of ours. And so, for the honour of our own, will I judge of every
+woman for the future, who imitating the rougher manners of men, acts
+unbeseeming the gentleness of her own sex.
+
+Forgive me, my dear friend, for breaking into my story by these
+reflections. Were I rapidly to pursue my narration, without thinking,
+without reflecting, I believe I should hardly be able to keep in my
+right mind: since vehemence and passion would then be always uppermost;
+but while I think as I write, I cool, and my hurry of spirits is
+allayed.
+
+I believe I was about a quarter of an hour enjoying my own comfortless
+contemplations, before any body came in to me; for they seemed to be
+in full debate. My aunt looked in first; O my dear, said she, are you
+there? and withdrew hastily to apprize them of it.
+
+And then (as agreed upon I suppose) in came my uncle Antony, crediting
+Mr. Solmes with the words, Let me lead you in, my dear friend, having
+hold of his hand; while the new-made beau awkwardly followed, but more
+edgingly, as I may say, setting his feet mincingly, to avoid treading
+upon his leader's heels. Excuse me, my dear, this seeming levity; but
+those we do not love, appear in every thing ungraceful to us.
+
+I stood up. My uncle looked very surly.--Sit down!--Sit down, Girl,
+said he.--And drawing a chair near me, he placed his dear friend in it,
+whether he would or not, I having taken my seat. And my uncle sat on the
+other side of me.
+
+Well, Niece, taking my hand, we shall have very little more to say to
+you than we have already said, as to the subject that is so distasteful
+to you--unless, indeed, you have better considered of the matter--And
+first let me know if you have?
+
+The matter wants no consideration, Sir.
+
+Very well, very well, Madam! said my uncle, withdrawing his hands from
+mine: Could I ever have thought of this from you?
+
+For God's sake, dearest Madam, said Mr. Solmes, folding his hands--And
+there he stopped.
+
+For God's sake, what, Sir?--How came God's sake, and your sake, I pray
+you, to be the same?
+
+This silenced him. My uncle could only be angry; and that he was before.
+
+Well, well, well, Mr. Solmes, said my uncle, no more of supplication.
+You have not confidence enough to expect a woman's favour.
+
+He then was pleased to hint what great things he had designed to do for
+me; and that it was more for my sake, after he returned from the Indies,
+than for the sake of any other of the family, that he had resolved
+to live a single life.--But now, concluded he, that the perverse girl
+despises all the great things it was once as much in my will, as it is
+in my power, to do for her, I will change my measures.
+
+I told him, that I most sincerely thanked him for all his kind
+intentions to me: but that I was willing to resign all claim to any
+other of his favours than kind looks and kind words.
+
+He looked about him this way and that.
+
+Mr. Solmes looked pitifully down.
+
+But both being silent, I was sorry, I added, that I had too much reason
+to say a very harsh thing, as I might be thought; which was, That if
+he would but be pleased to convince my brother and sister, that he was
+absolutely determined to alter his generous purposes towards me,
+it might possibly procure me better treatment from both, than I was
+otherwise likely to have.
+
+My uncle was very much displeased. But he had not the opportunity to
+express his displeasure, as he seemed preparing to do; for in came my
+brother in exceeding great wrath; and called me several vile names. His
+success hitherto, in his device against me, had set him above keeping
+even decent measures.
+
+Was this my spiteful construction? he asked--Was this the interpretation
+I put upon his brotherly care of me, and concern for me, in order to
+prevent my ruining myself?
+
+It is, indeed it is, said I: I know no other way to account for your
+late behaviour to me: and before your face, I repeat my request to my
+uncle, and I will make it to my other uncle whenever I am permitted to
+see him, that they will confer all their favours upon you, and upon my
+sister; and only make me happy (it is all I wish for!) in their kind
+looks, and kind words.
+
+How they all gazed upon one another!--But could I be less peremptory
+before the man?
+
+And, as to your care and concern for me, Sir, turning to my brother;
+once more I desire it not. You are but my brother. My father and mother,
+I bless God, are both living; and were they not, you have given me
+abundant reason to say, that you are the very last person I would wish
+to have any concern for me.
+
+How, Niece! And is a brother, an only brother, of so little
+consideration with you, as this comes to? And ought he to have no
+concern for his sister's honour, and the family's honour.
+
+My honour, Sir!--I desire none of his concern for that! It never was
+endangered till it had his undesired concern!--Forgive me, Sir--but when
+my brother knows how to act like a brother, or behave like a gentleman,
+he may deserve more consideration from me than it is possible for me now
+to think he does.
+
+I thought my brother would have beat me upon this: but my uncle stood
+between us.
+
+Violent girl, however, he called me--Who, said he, who would have
+thought it of her?
+
+Then was Mr. Solmes told, that I was unworthy of his pursuit.
+
+But Mr. Solmes warmly took my part: he could not bear, he said, that I
+should be treated so roughly.
+
+And so very much did he exert himself on this occasion, and so patiently
+was his warmth received by my brother, that I began to suspect, that it
+was a contrivance to make me think myself obliged to him; and that this
+might perhaps be one end of the pressed-for interview.
+
+The very suspicion of this low artifice, violent as I was thought to be
+before, put me still more out of patience; and my uncle and my brother
+again praising his wonderful generosity, and his noble return of good
+for evil, You are a happy man, Mr. Solmes, said I, that you can
+so easily confer obligations upon a whole family, except upon one
+ungrateful person of it, whom you seem to intend most to oblige; but
+who being made unhappy by your favour, desires not to owe to you any
+protection from the violence of a brother.
+
+Then was I a rude, an ungrateful, and unworthy creature.
+
+I own it all--all, all you can call me, or think me, Brother, do I own.
+I own my unworthiness with regard to this gentleman. I take your word
+for his abundant merit, which I have neither leisure nor inclination to
+examine into--it may perhaps be as great as your own--but yet I cannot
+thank him for his great mediation: For who sees not, looking at my
+uncle, that this is giving himself a merit with every body at my
+expense?
+
+Then turning to my brother, who seemed surprised into silence by my
+warmth, I must also acknowledge, Sir, the favour of your superabundant
+care for me. But I discharge you of it; at least, while I have the
+happiness of nearer and dearer relations. You have given me no reason to
+think better of your prudence, than of my own. I am independent of you,
+Sir, though I never desire to be so of my father: and although I wish
+for the good opinion of my uncles, it is all I wish for from them: and
+this, Sir, I repeat, to make you and my sister easy.
+
+Instantly almost came in Betty, in a great hurry, looking at me as
+spitefully as if she were my sister: Sir, said she to my brother, my
+master desires to speak with you this moment at the door.
+
+He went to that which led into my sister's parlour; and this sentence
+I heard thundered from the mouth of one who had a right to all my
+reverence: Son James, let the rebel be this moment carried away to my
+brother's--this very moment--she shall not stay one hour more under my
+roof!
+
+I trembled; I was ready to sink. Yet, not knowing what I did, or said, I
+flew to the door, and would have opened it: but my brother pulled it to,
+and held it close by the key--O my Papa!--my dear Papa! said I, falling
+upon my knees, at the door--admit your child to your presence!--Let me
+but plead my cause at your feet!--Oh! reprobate not thus your distressed
+daughter!
+
+My uncle put his handkerchief to his eyes. Mr. Solmes made a still more
+grievous face than he had before. But my brother's marble heart was
+untouched.
+
+I will not stir from my knees, continued I, without admission; at this
+door I beg it!--Oh! let it be the door of mercy! and open it to me,
+honoured Sir, I beseech you!--But this once, this once! although you
+were afterwards to shut it against me for ever!
+
+The door was endeavoured to be opened on the inside, which made my
+brother let go the key on a sudden; and I pressing against it, (all
+the time remaining on my knees,) fell flat on my face into the other
+parlour; however without hurting myself. But every body was gone, except
+Betty, who I suppose was the person that endeavoured to open the door.
+She helped to raise me up; and when I was on my feet, I looked round
+that apartment, and seeing nobody there, re-entered the other, leaning
+upon her; and then threw myself into the chair which I had sat in
+before; and my eyes overflowed, to my great relief: while my uncle
+Antony, my brother, and Mr. Solmes, left me, and went to my other
+relations.
+
+What passed among them, I know not: but my brother came in by the time
+I had tolerably recovered myself, with a settled and haughty gloom upon
+his brow--Your father and mother command you instantly to prepare for
+your uncle Antony's. You need not be solicitous about what you shall
+take with you: you may give Betty your keys--Take them, Betty, if the
+perverse one has them about her, and carry them to her mother. She will
+take care to send every thing after you that you shall want--but another
+night you will not be permitted to stay in this house.
+
+I don't choose to give my keys to any body, except to my mother, and
+into her own hands.--You see how much I am disordered. It may cost me
+my life, to be hurried away so suddenly. I beg to be indulged till next
+Monday at least.
+
+That will not be granted you. So prepare for this very very night.
+And give up your keys. Give them to me, Miss. I'll carry them to your
+mother.
+
+Excuse me, Brother. Indeed I won't.
+
+Indeed you must. Have you any thing you are afraid should be seen by
+your mother?
+
+Not if I be permitted to attend her.
+
+I'll make a report accordingly.
+
+He went out.
+
+In came Miss Dolly Hervey: I am sorry, Madam, to be the messenger--but
+your mamma insists upon your sending up all the keys of your cabinet,
+library, and drawers.
+
+Tell my mother, that I yield them up to her commands: tell her, I
+make no conditions with my mother: but if she finds nothing she shall
+disapprove of, I beg that she will permit me to tarry here a few days
+longer.--Try, my Dolly, [the dear girl sobbing with grief;] try if your
+gentleness cannot prevail for me.
+
+She wept still more, and said, It is sad, very sad, to see matters thus
+carried!
+
+She took the keys, and wrapped her arms about me; and begged me to
+excuse her for her message; and would have said more; but Betty's
+presence awed her, as I saw.
+
+Don't pity me, my dear, said I. It will be imputed to you as a fault.
+You see who is by.
+
+The insolent wench scornfully smiled: One young lady pitying another
+in things of this nature, looks promising in the youngest, I must needs
+say.
+
+I bid her begone from my presence.
+
+She would most gladly go, she said, were she not to stay about me by my
+mother's order.
+
+It soon appeared for what she staid; for I offering to go up stairs to
+my apartment when my cousin went from me with the keys, she told me she
+was commanded (to her very great regret, she must own) to desire me not
+to go up at present.
+
+Such a bold face, as she, I told her, should not hinder me.
+
+She instantly rang the bell, and in came my brother, meeting me at the
+door.
+
+Return, return, Miss--no going up yet.
+
+I went in again, and throwing myself upon the window-seat, wept
+bitterly.
+
+Shall I give you the particulars of a ridiculously-spiteful conversation
+that passed between my brother and me, in the time that he (with
+Betty) was in office to keep me in the parlour while my closet was
+searching!--But I think I will not. It can answer no good end.
+
+I desired several times, while he staid, to have leave to retire to my
+apartment; but was denied. The search, I suppose, was not over.
+
+Bella was one of those employed in it. They could not have a more
+diligent searcher. How happy it was they were disappointed!
+
+But when my sister could not find the cunning creature's papers, I was
+to stand another visit from Mr. Solmes--preceded now by my aunt Hervey,
+solely against her will, I could see that; accompanied by my uncle
+Antony, in order to keep her steady, I suppose.
+
+But being a little heavy (for it is now past two in the morning) I
+will lie down in my clothes, to indulge the kind summons, if it will be
+indulged.
+
+
+THREE O'CLOCK, WEDNESDAY MORNING.
+
+I could not sleep--Only dozed away one half-hour.
+
+My aunt Hervey accosted me thus:--O my dear child, what troubles do you
+give to your parents, and to every body!--I wonder at you!
+
+I am sorry for it, Madam.
+
+Sorry for it, child!--Why then so very obstinate?--Come, sit down, my
+dear. I will sit next to you; taking my hand.
+
+My uncle placed Mr. Solmes on the other side of me: himself over-against
+me, almost close to me. Was I not finely beset, my dear?
+
+Your brother, child, said my aunt, is too passionate--his zeal for your
+welfare pushes him on a little too vehemently.
+
+Very true, said my uncle: but no more of this. We would now be glad to
+see if milder means will do with you--though, indeed, they were tried
+before.
+
+I asked my aunt, If it were necessary, that the gentleman should be
+present?
+
+There is a reason that he should, said my aunt, as you will hear by-and
+by.--But I must tell you, first, that, thinking you was a little too
+angrily treated by your brother, your mother desired me to try what
+gentler means would do upon a spirit so generous as we used to think
+yours.
+
+Nothing can be done, Madam, I must presume to say, if this gentleman's
+address be the end.
+
+She looked upon my uncle, who bit his lip; and looked upon Mr. Solmes,
+who rubbed his cheek; and shaking her head, Good, dear creature, said
+she, be calm. Let me ask you, If something would have been done, had you
+been more gently used, than you seem to think you have been?
+
+No, Madam, I cannot say it would, in this gentleman's favour. You
+know, Madam, you know, Sir, to my uncle, I ever valued myself upon my
+sincerity: and once indeed had the happiness to be valued for it.
+
+My uncle took Mr. Solmes aside. I heard him say, whispering, She must,
+she shall, still be yours.--We'll see, who'll conquer, parents or child,
+uncles or niece. I doubt not to be witness to all this being got over,
+and many a good-humoured jest made of this high phrensy!
+
+I was heartily vexed.
+
+Though we cannot find out, continued he, yet we guess, who puts her upon
+this obstinate behaviour. It is not natural to her, man. Nor would I
+concern myself so much about her, but that I know what I say to be true,
+and intend to do great things for her.
+
+I will hourly pray for that happy time, whispered as audibly Mr. Solmes.
+I never will revive the remembrance of what is now so painful to me.
+
+Well, but, Niece, I am to tell you, said my aunt, that the sending up
+of the keys, without making any conditions, has wrought for you what
+nothing else could have done. That, and the not finding any thing that
+could give them umbrage, together with Mr. Solmes's interposition--
+
+O Madam, let me not owe an obligation to Mr. Solmes. I cannot repay it,
+except by my thanks; and those only on condition that he will decline
+his suit. To my thanks, Sir, [turning to him,] if you have a heart
+capable of humanity, if you have any esteem for me for my own sake, I
+beseech you to entitle yourself!--I beseech you, do--!
+
+O Madam, cried he, believe, believe, believe me, it is impossible. While
+you are single, I will hope. While that hope is encouraged by so many
+worthy friends, I must persevere. I must not slight them, Madam, because
+you slight me.
+
+I answered him only with a look; but it was of high disdain; and turning
+from him,--But what favour, dear Madam, [to my aunt,] has the instance
+of duty you mention procured me?
+
+Your mother and Mr. Solmes, replied my aunt, have prevailed, that your
+request to stay here till Monday next shall be granted, if you will
+promise to go cheerfully then.
+
+Let me but choose my own visiters, and I will go to my uncle's house
+with pleasure.
+
+Well, Niece, said my aunt, we must wave this subject, I find. We will
+now proceed to another, which will require your utmost attention. It
+will give you the reason why Mr. Solmes's presence is requisite--
+
+Ay, said my uncle, and shew you what sort of a man somebody is. Mr.
+Solmes, pray favour us, in the first place, with the letter you received
+from your anonymous friend.
+
+I will, Sir. And out he pulled a letter-case, and taking out a letter,
+it is written in answer to one, sent to the person. It is superscribed,
+To Roger Solmes, Esq. It begins thus: Honoured Sir--
+
+I beg your pardon, Sir, said I: but what, pray, is the intent of reading
+this letter to me?
+
+To let you know what a vile man you are thought to have set your heart
+upon, said my uncle, in an audible whisper.
+
+If, Sir, it be suspected, that I have set my heart upon any other, why
+is Mr. Solmes to give himself any further trouble about me?
+
+Only hear, Niece, said my aunt; only hear what Mr. Solmes has to read
+and to say to you on this head.
+
+If, Madam, Mr. Solmes will be pleased to declare, that he has no view
+to serve, no end to promote, for himself, I will hear any thing he shall
+read. But if the contrary, you must allow me to say, that it will abate
+with me a great deal of the weight of whatever he shall produce.
+
+Hear it but read, Niece, said my aunt--
+
+Hear it read, said my uncle. You are so ready to take part with--
+
+With any body, Sir, that is accused anonymously, and from interested
+motives.
+
+He began to read; and there seemed to be a heavy load of charges in this
+letter against the poor criminal: but I stopped the reading of it,
+and said, It will not be my fault, if this vilified man be not as
+indifferent to me, as one whom I never saw. If he be otherwise at
+present, which I neither own, nor deny, it proceed from the strange
+methods taken to prevent it. Do not let one cause unite him and me, and
+we shall not be united. If my offer to live single be accepted, he shall
+be no more to me than this gentleman.
+
+Still--Proceed, Mr. Solmes--Hear it out, Niece, was my uncle's cry.
+
+But to what purpose, Sir! said I--Had not Mr. Solmes a view in this?
+And, besides, can any thing worse be said of Mr. Lovelace, than I have
+heard said for several months past?
+
+But this, said my uncle, and what Mr. Solmes can tell you besides,
+amounts to the fullest proof--
+
+Was the unhappy man, then, so freely treated in his character before,
+without full proof? I beseech you, Sir, give me not too good an opinion
+of Mr. Lovelace; as I may have, if such pains be taken to make him
+guilty, by one who means not his reformation by it; nor to do good, if I
+may presume to say so in this case, to any body but himself.
+
+I see very plainly, girl, said my uncle, your prepossession, your fond
+prepossession, for the person of a man without morals.
+
+Indeed, my dear, said my aunt, you too much justify all your
+apprehension. Surprising! that a young creature of virtue and honour
+should thus esteem a man of a quite opposite character!
+
+Dear Madam, do not conclude against me too hastily. I believe Mr.
+Lovelace is far from being so good as he ought to be: but if every man's
+private life was searched into by prejudiced people, set on for that
+purpose, I know not whose reputation would be safe. I love a virtuous
+character, as much in man as in woman. I think it is requisite, and as
+meritorious, in the one as in the other. And, if left to myself, I would
+prefer a person of such a character to royalty without it.
+
+Why then, said my uncle--
+
+Give me leave, Sir--but I may venture to say, that many of those who
+have escaped censure, have not merited applause.
+
+Permit me to observe further, That Mr. Solmes himself may not be
+absolutely faultless. I never head of his virtues. Some vices I have
+heard of--Excuse me, Mr. Solmes, I speak to your face--The text about
+casting the first stone affords an excellent lesson.
+
+He looked down; but was silent.
+
+Mr. Lovelace may have vices you have not. You may have others, which
+he has not. I speak not this to defend him, or to accuse you. No man is
+bad, no one is good, in every thing. Mr. Lovelace, for example, is said
+to be implacable, and to hate my friends: that does not make me value
+him the more: but give me leave to say, that they hate him as much. Mr.
+Solmes has his antipathies, likewise; very strong ones, and those to his
+own relations; which I don't find to be the other's fault; for he lives
+well with his--yet he may have as bad:--worse, pardon me, he cannot
+have, in my poor opinion: for what must be the man, who hates his own
+flesh?
+
+You know not, Madam; You know not, Niece; all in one breath. You know
+not, Clary;
+
+I may not, nor do I desire to know Mr. Solmes's reasons. It concerns not
+me to know them: but the world, even the impartial part of it, accuses
+him. If the world is unjust or rash, in one man's case, why may it not
+be so in another's? That's all I mean by it. Nor can there by a greater
+sign of want of merit, than where a man seeks to pull down another's
+character, in order to build up his own.
+
+The poor man's face was all this time overspread with confusion,
+twisted, as it were, and all awry, neither mouth nor nose standing in
+the middle of it. He looked as if he were ready to cry: and had he been
+capable of pitying me, I had certainly tried to pity him.
+
+They all three gazed upon one another in silence.
+
+My aunt, I saw (at least I thought so) looked as if she would have been
+glad she might have appeared to approve of what I said. She but feebly
+blamed me, when she spoke, for not hearing what Mr. Solmes had to say.
+He himself seemed not now very earnest to be heard. My uncle said,
+There was no talking to me. And I should have absolutely silenced both
+gentlemen, had not my brother come in again to their assistance.
+
+This was the strange speech he made at his entrance, his eyes flaming
+with anger; This prating girl, has struck you all dumb, I perceive.
+Persevere, however, Mr. Solmes. I have heard every word she has said:
+and I know of no other method of being even with her, than after she is
+yours, to make her as sensible of your power, as she now makes you of
+her insolence.
+
+Fie, cousin Harlowe! said my aunt--Could I have thought a brother would
+have said this, to a gentleman, of a sister?
+
+I must tell you, Madam, said he, that you give the rebel courage.
+You yourself seem to favour too much the arrogance of her sex in
+her; otherwise she durst not have thus stopped her uncle's mouth by
+reflections upon him; as well as denied to hear a gentleman tell her
+the danger she is in from a libertine, whose protection, as she plainly
+hinted, she intends to claim against her family.
+
+Stopped my uncle's mouth, by reflections upon him, Sir! said I, how can
+that be! how dare you to make such an application as this!
+
+My aunt wept at his reflection upon her.--Cousin, said she to him, if
+this be the thanks I have for my trouble, I have done: your father
+would not treat me thus--and I will say, that the hint you gave was an
+unbrotherly one.
+
+Not more unbrotherly than all the rest of his conduct to me, of late,
+Madam, said I. I see by this specimen of his violence, how every body
+has been brought into his measures. Had I any the least apprehension of
+ever being in Mr. Solmes's power, this might have affected me. But you
+see, Sir, to Mr. Solmes, what a conduct is thought necessary to enable
+you to arrive at your ungenerous end. You see how my brother courts for
+you.
+
+I disclaim Mr. Harlowe's violence, Madam, with all my soul. I will never
+remind you--
+
+Silence, worthy Sir, said I; I will take care you never shall have the
+opportunity.
+
+Less violence, Clary, said my uncle. Cousin James, you are as much to
+blame as your sister.
+
+In then came my sister. Brother, said she, you kept not your promise.
+You are thought to be to blame within, as well as here. Were not Mr.
+Solmes's generosity and affection to the girl well known, what you said
+would have been inexcusable. My father desires to speak with you; and
+with you, Mr. Solmes, if you please.
+
+They all four withdrew into the next apartment.
+
+I stood silent, as not knowing presently how to take this intervention
+of my sister's. But she left me not long at a loss--O thou perverse
+thing, said she [poking out her angry face at me, when they were all
+gone, but speaking spitefully low]--what trouble do you give to us all!
+
+You and my brother, Bella, said I, give trouble to yourselves; yet
+neither you nor he have any business to concern yourselves about me.
+
+She threw out some spiteful expressions, still in a low voice, as if she
+chose not to be heard without; and I thought it best to oblige her to
+raise her tone a little, if I could. If I could, did I say? It is easy
+to make a passionate spirit answer all one's views upon it.
+
+She accordingly flamed out in a raised tone: and this brought my cousin
+Dolly in to us. Miss Harlowe, your company is desired.
+
+I will come presently, cousin Dolly.
+
+But again provoking a severity from me which she could not bear, and
+calling me names! in once more come Dolly, with another message, that
+her company was desired.
+
+Not mine, I doubt, Miss Dolly, said I.
+
+The sweet-tempered girl burst out into tears, and shook her head.
+
+Go in before me, child, said Bella, [vexed to see her concern for me,]
+with thy sharp face like a new moon: What dost thou cry for? is it to
+make thy keen face look still keener?
+
+I believe Bella was blamed, too, when she went in; for I heard her say,
+the creature was so provoking, there was no keeping a resolution.
+
+Mr. Solmes, after a little while, came in again by himself, to take
+leave of me: full of scrapes and compliments; but too well tutored and
+encouraged, to give me hope of his declining his suit. He begged me
+not to impute to him any of the severe things to which he had been a
+sorrowful witness. He besought my compassion, as he called it.
+
+He said, the result was, that he still had hopes given him; and,
+although discouraged by me, he was resolved to persevere, while I
+remained single.--And such long and such painful services he talked of,
+as never before were heard of.
+
+I told him in the strongest manner, what he had to trust to.
+
+Yet still he determined to persist.--While I was no man's else, he must
+hope.
+
+What! said I, will you still persist, when I declare, as I do now, that
+my affections are engaged?--And let my brother make the most of it.
+
+He knew my principles, and adored me for them. He doubted not, that it
+was in his power to make me happy: and he was sure I would not want the
+will to be so.
+
+I assured him, that were I to be carried to my uncle's, it should answer
+no end; for I would never see him; nor receive a line from him; nor hear
+a word in his favour, whoever were the person who should mention him to
+me.
+
+He was sorry for it. He must be miserable, were I to hold in that mind.
+But he doubted not, that I might be induced by my father and uncles to
+change it--
+
+Never, never, he might depend upon it.
+
+It was richly worth his patience, and the trial.
+
+At my expense?--At the price of all my happiness, Sir?
+
+He hoped I should be induced to think otherwise.
+
+And then would he have run into his fortune, his settlements, his
+affection--vowing, that never man loved a woman with so sincere a
+passion as he loved me.
+
+I stopped him, as to the first part of his speech: and to the second,
+of the sincerity of his passion, What then, Sir, said I, is your love to
+one, who must assure you, that never young creature looked upon man with
+a more sincere disapprobation, than I look upon you? And tell me,
+what argument can you urge, that this true declaration answers not
+before-hand?
+
+Dearest Madam, what can I say?--On my knees I beg--
+
+And down the ungraceful wretch dropped on his knees.
+
+Let me not kneel in vain, Madam: let me not be thus despised.--And he
+looked most odiously sorrowful.
+
+I have kneeled too, Mr. Solmes: often have I kneeled: and I will kneel
+again--even to you, Sir, will I kneel, if there be so much merit in
+kneeling; provided you will not be the implement of my cruel brother's
+undeserved persecution.
+
+If all the services, even to worship you, during my whole life--You,
+Madam, invoke and expect mercy; yet shew none--
+
+Am I to be cruel to myself, to shew mercy to you; take my estate, Sir,
+with all my heart, since you are such a favourite in this house!--only
+leave me myself--the mercy you ask for, do you shew to others.
+
+If you mean to my relations, Madam--unworthy as they are, all shall be
+done that you shall prescribe.
+
+Who, I, Sir, to find you bowels you naturally have not? I to purchase
+their happiness by the forfeiture of my own? What I ask you for,
+is mercy to myself: that, since you seem to have some power over my
+relations, you will use it in my behalf. Tell them, that you see I
+cannot conquer my aversion to you: tell them, if you are a wise man,
+that you too much value your own happiness, to risk it against such a
+determined antipathy: tell them that I am unworthy of your offers: and
+that in mercy to yourself, as well as to me, you will not prosecute a
+suit so impossible to be granted.
+
+I will risque all consequences, said the fell wretch, rising, with a
+countenance whitened over, as if with malice, his hollow eyes flashing
+fire, and biting his under lip, to shew he could be manly. Your hatred,
+Madam, shall be no objection with me: and I doubt not in a few days to
+have it in my power to shew you--
+
+You have it in your power, Sir--
+
+He came well off--To shew you more generosity than, noble as you are
+said to be to others, you shew to me.
+
+The man's face became his anger: it seems formed to express the passion.
+
+At that instant, again in came my brother--Sister, Sister, Sister, said
+he, with his teeth set, act on the termagant part you have so newly
+assumed--most wonderfully well does it become you. It is but a
+short one, however. Tyraness in your turn, accuse others of your own
+guilt--But leave her, leaver her, Mr. Solmes: her time is short. You'll
+find her humble and mortified enough very quickly. Then, how like a
+little tame fool will she look, with her conscience upbraiding her, and
+begging of you [with a whining voice, the barbarous brother spoke] to
+forgive and forget!
+
+More he said, as he flew out, with a glowing face, upon Shorey's coming
+in to recall him on his violence.
+
+I removed from chair to chair, excessively frighted and disturbed at
+this brutal treatment.
+
+The man attempted to excuse himself, as being sorry for my brother's
+passion.
+
+Leave me, leave me, Sir, fanning--or I shall faint. And indeed I thought
+I should.
+
+He recommended himself to my favour with an air of assurance; augmented,
+as I thought, by a distress so visible in me; for he even snatched my
+trembling, my struggling hand; and ravished it to his odious mouth.
+
+I flung from him with high disdain: and he withdrew, bowing and
+cringing; self-gratified, and enjoying, as I thought, the confusion he
+saw me in.
+
+The wretch is now, methinks, before me; and now I see him awkwardly
+striding backward, as he retired, till the edge of the opened door,
+which he ran against, remembered him to turn his welcome back upon me.
+
+Upon his withdrawing, Betty brought me word, that I was permitted to
+go up to my own chamber: and was bid to consider of every thing: for my
+time was short. Nevertheless, she believed I might be permitted to stay
+till Saturday.
+
+She tells me, that although my brother and sister were blamed for being
+so hasty with me, yet when they made their report, and my uncle Antony
+his, of my provocations, they were all more determined than ever in Mr.
+Solmes's favour.
+
+The wretch himself, she tells me, pretends to be more in love with
+me than before; and to be rather delighted than discouraged with the
+conversation that passed between us. He ran on, she says, in raptures,
+about the grace wherewith I should dignify his board; and the like sort
+of stuff, either of his saying, or of her making.
+
+She closed all with a Now is your time, Miss, to submit with a grace,
+and to make your own terms with him:--else, I can tell you, were I Mr.
+Solmes, it should be worse for you: And who, Miss, of our sex, proceeded
+the saucy creature, would admire a rakish gentleman, when she might be
+admired by a sober one to the end of the chapter?
+
+She made this further speech to me on quitting my chamber--You have
+had amazing good luck, Miss. I must tell you, to keep your writings
+concealed so cunningly. You must needs think I know that you are always
+at your pen: and as you endeavour to hide that knowledge from me, I
+do not think myself obliged to keep your secret. But I love not to
+aggravate. I had rather reconcile by much. Peace-making is my talent,
+and ever was. And had I been as much your foe, as you imagine, you had
+not perhaps been here now. But this, however, I do not say to make a
+merit with you, Miss: for, truly, it will be the better for you the
+sooner every thing is over with you. And better for me, and for every
+one else; that's certain. Yet one hint I must conclude with; that your
+pen and ink (soon as you are to go away) will not be long in your power,
+I do assure you, Miss. And then, having lost that amusement, it will be
+seen, how a mind so active as yours will be able to employ itself.
+
+This hint alarms me so much, that I shall instantly begin to conceal, in
+different places, pens, inks, and paper; and to deposit some in the ivy
+summer-house, if I can find a safe place there; and, at the worst, I
+have got a pencil of black, and another of red lead, which I use in my
+drawings; and my patterns shall serve for paper, if I have no other.
+
+How lucky it was, that I had got away my papers! They made a strict
+search for them; that I can see, by the disorderly manner they have left
+all things in: for you know that I am such an observer of method, that
+I can go to a bit of ribband, or lace, or edging, blindfold. The same in
+my books; which they have strangely disordered and mismatched; to look
+behind them, and in some of them, I suppose. My clothes too are rumpled
+not a little. No place has escaped them. To your hint, I thank you, are
+they indebted for their disappointment.
+
+The pen, through heaviness and fatigue, dropt out of my fingers, at the
+word indebted. I resumed it, to finish the sentence; and to tell you,
+that I am,
+
+Your for ever obliged and affectionate CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXXV
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE WEDNESDAY, ELEVEN O'CLOCK, APRIL 5.
+
+
+I must write as I have opportunity; making use of my concealed stores:
+for my pens and ink (all of each that they could find) are taken from
+me; as I shall tell you about more particularly by and by.
+
+About an hour ago, I deposited my long letter to you; as also, in the
+usual place, a billet to Mr. Lovelace, lest his impatience should put
+him upon some rashness; signifying, in four lines, 'That the interview
+was over; and that I hoped my steady refusal of Mr. Solmes would
+discourage any further applications to me in his favour.'
+
+Although I was unable (through the fatigue I had undergone, and by
+reason of sitting up all night, to write to you, which made me lie
+longer than ordinary this morning) to deposit my letter to you sooner,
+yet I hope you will have it in such good time, as that you will be able
+to send me an answer to it this night, or in the morning early; which,
+if ever so short, will inform me, whether I may depend upon your
+mother's indulgence or not. This it behoves me to know as soon as
+possible; for they are resolved to hurry me away on Saturday next at
+farthest; perhaps to-morrow.
+
+I will now inform you of all that has happened previous to their taking
+away my pen and ink, as well as of the manner in which that act of
+violence was committed; and this as briefly as I can.
+
+My aunt, who (as well as Mr. Solmes, and my two uncles) lives here, I
+think, came up to me, and said, she would fain have me hear what Mr.
+Solmes had to say of Mr. Lovelace--only that I may be apprized of
+some things, that would convince me what a vile man he is, and what a
+wretched husband he must make. I might give them what degree of credit
+I pleased; and take them with abatement for Mr. Solmes's interestedness,
+if I thought fit. But it might be of use to me, were it but to question
+Mr. Lovelace indirectly upon some of them, that related to myself.
+
+I was indifferent, I said, about what he could say of me; and I was sure
+it could not be to my disadvantage; and as he had no reason to impute to
+me the forwardness which my unkind friends had so causelessly taxed me
+with.
+
+She said, That he gave himself high airs on account of his family; and
+spoke as despicably of ours as if an alliance with us were beneath him.
+
+I replied, That he was a very unworthy man, if it were true, to speak
+slightingly of a family, which was as good as his own, 'bating that
+it was not allied to the peerage: that the dignity itself, I thought,
+conveyed more shame than honour to descendants, who had not merit to
+adorn, as well as to be adorned by it: that my brother's absurd pride,
+indeed, which made him every where declare, he would never marry but to
+quality, gave a disgraceful preference against ours: but that were I
+to be assured, that Mr. Lovelace was capable of so mean a pride as to
+insult us or value himself on such an accidental advantage, I should
+think as despicably of his sense, as every body else did of his morals.
+
+She insisted upon it, that he had taken such liberties, it would be but
+common justice (so much hated as he was by all our family, and so
+much inveighed against in all companies by them) to inquire into the
+provocation he had to say what was imputed to him; and whether the value
+some of my friends put upon the riches they possess (throwing perhaps
+contempt upon every other advantage, and even discrediting their own
+pretensions to family, in order to depreciate his) might not provoke him
+to like contempts. Upon the whole, Madam, said I, can you say, that the
+inveteracy lies not as much on our side, as on his? Can he say any thing
+of us more disrespectful than we say of him?--And as to the suggestion,
+so often repeated, that he will make a bad husband, Is it possible for
+him to use a wife worse than I am used; particularly by my brother and
+sister?
+
+Ah, Niece! Ah, my dear! how firmly has this wicked man attached you!
+
+Perhaps not, Madam. But really great care should be taken by fathers and
+mothers, when they would have their daughters of their minds in these
+particulars, not to say things that shall necessitate the child, in
+honour and generosity, to take part with the man her friends are averse
+to. But, waving all this, as I have offered to renounce him for ever, I
+see now why he should be mentioned to me, nor why I should be wished to
+hear any thing about him.
+
+Well, but still, my dear, there can be no harm to let Mr. Solmes tell
+you what Mr. Lovelace has said of you. Severely as you have treated Mr.
+Solmes, he is fond of attending you once more: he begs to be heard on
+this head.
+
+If it be proper for me to hear it, Madam--
+
+It is, eagerly interrupted she, very proper.
+
+Has what he has said of me, Madam, convinced you of Mr. Lovelace's
+baseness?
+
+It has, my dear: and that you ought to abhor him for it.
+
+Then, dear Madam, be pleased to let me hear it from your mouth: there
+is no need that I should see Mr. Solmes, when it will have double the
+weight from you. What, Madam, has the man dared to say of me?
+
+My aunt was quite at a loss.
+
+At last, Well, said she, I see how you are attached. I am sorry for it,
+Miss. For I do assure you, it will signify nothing. You must be Mrs.
+Solmes; and that in a very few days.
+
+If consent of heart, and assent of voice, be necessary to a marriage, I
+am sure I never can, nor ever will, be married to Mr. Solmes. And what
+will any of my relations be answerable for, if they force my hand into
+his, and hold it there till the service be read; I perhaps insensible,
+and in fits, all the time!
+
+What a romantic picture of a forced marriage have you drawn, Niece!
+Some people would say, you have given a fine description of your own
+obstinacy, child.
+
+My brother and sister would: but you, Madam, distinguish, I am sure,
+between obstinacy and aversion.
+
+Supposed aversion may owe its rise to real obstinacy, my dear.
+
+I know my own heart, Madam. I wish you did.
+
+Well, but see Mr. Solmes once more, Niece. It will oblige and make for
+you more than you imagine.
+
+What should I see him for, Madam?--Is the man fond of hearing me declare
+my aversion to him?--Is he desirous of having me more and more incense
+my friends against myself?--O my cunning, my ambitious brother!
+
+Ah, my dear! with a look of pity, as if she understood the meaning of my
+exclamation--But must that necessarily be the case?
+
+It must, Madam, if they will take offence at me for declaring my
+steadfast detestation of Mr. Solmes, as a husband.
+
+Mr. Solmes is to be pitied, said she. He adores you. He longs to see
+you once more. He loves you the better for your cruel usage of him
+yesterday. He is in raptures about you.
+
+Ugly creature, thought I!--He in raptures!
+
+What a cruel wretch must he be, said I, who can enjoy the distress to
+which he so largely contributes!--But I see, I see, Madam, that I am
+considered as an animal to be baited, to make sport for my brother
+and sister, and Mr. Solmes. They are all, all of them, wanton in their
+cruelty.--I, Madam, see the man! the man so incapable of pity!--Indeed I
+will not see him, if I can help it--indeed I will not.
+
+What a construction does your lively wit put upon the admiration
+Mr. Solmes expresses of you!--Passionate as you were yesterday, and
+contemptuously as you treated him, he dotes upon you for the very
+severity by which he suffers. He is not so ungenerous a man as you think
+him: nor has he an unfeeling heart.--Let me prevail upon you, my dear,
+(as your father and mother expect it of you,) to see him once more, and
+hear what he has to say to you.
+
+How can I consent to see him again, when yesterday's interview
+was interpreted by you, Madam, as well as by every other, as an
+encouragement to him? when I myself declared, that if I saw him a second
+time by my own consent, it might be so taken? and when I am determined
+never to encourage him?
+
+You might spare your reflections upon me, Miss. I have no thanks either
+from one side or the other.
+
+And away she flung.
+
+Dearest Madam! said I, following her to the door--
+
+But she would not hear me further; and her sudden breaking from me
+occasioned a hurry to some mean listener; as the slipping of a foot from
+the landing-place on the stairs discovered to me.
+
+I had scarcely recovered myself from this attack, when up came
+Betty--Miss, said she, your company is desired below-stairs in your own
+parlour.
+
+By whom, Betty?
+
+How can I tell, Miss?--perhaps by your sister, perhaps by your
+brother--I know they wont' come up stairs to your apartment again.
+
+Is Mr. Solmes gone, Betty?
+
+I believe he is, Miss--Would you have him sent for back? said the bold
+creature.
+
+Down I went: and to whom should I be sent for, but to my brother and Mr.
+Solmes! the latter standing sneaking behind the door, so that I saw him
+not, till I was mockingly led by the hand into the room by my brother.
+And then I started as if I had beheld a ghost.
+
+You are to sit down, Clary.
+
+And what then, Brother?
+
+Why then, you are to put off that scornful look, and hear what Mr.
+Solmes has to say to you.
+
+Sent down for to be baited again, thought I!
+
+Madam, said Mr. Solmes, as if in haste to speak, lest he should not have
+an opportunity given him, [and indeed he judged right,] Mr. Lovelace is
+a declared marriage hater, and has a design upon your honour, if ever--
+
+Base accuser! said I, in a passion, snatching my hand from my brother,
+who was insolently motioning to give it to Mr. Solmes; he has not!--he
+dares not!--But you have, if endeavouring to force a free mind be to
+dishonour it!
+
+O thou violent creature! said my brother--but not gone yet--for I was
+rushing away.
+
+What mean you, Sir, [struggling vehemently to get away,] to detain me
+thus against my will?
+
+You shall not go, Violence; clasping his unbrotherly arms about me.
+
+Then let not Mr. Solmes stay.--Why hold you me thus? he shall not for
+your own sake, if I can help it, see how barbarously a brother can treat
+a sister who deserves not evil treatment.
+
+And I struggled so vehemently to get from him, that he was forced to
+quit my hand; which he did with these words--Begone then, Fury!--how
+strong is will!--there is no holding her.
+
+And up I flew to my chamber, and locked myself in, trembling and out of
+breath.
+
+In less than a quarter of an hour, up came Betty. I let her in upon her
+tapping, and asking (half out of breath too) for admittance.
+
+The Lord have mercy upon us! said she.--What a confusion of a house is
+this! [hurrying up and down, fanning herself with her handkerchief,]
+Such angry masters and mistresses!--such an obstinate young lady!--such
+a humble lover!--such enraged uncles!--such--O dear!--dear! what a
+topsy-turvy house is this!--And all for what, trow?--only because a
+young lady may be happy, and will not?--only because a young lady will
+have a husband, and will not have a husband? What hurlyburlies are here,
+where all used to be peace and quietness!
+
+Thus she ran on to herself; while I sat as patiently as I could (being
+assured that her errand was not designed to be a welcome one to me) to
+observe when her soliloquy would end.
+
+At last, turning to me--I must do as I am bid. I can't help it--don't
+be angry with me, Miss. But I must carry down your pen and ink: and that
+this moment.
+
+By whose order?
+
+By your papa's and mamma's.
+
+How shall I know that?
+
+She offered to go to my closet: I stept in before her: touch it, if you
+dare.
+
+Up came my cousin Dolly--Madam!--Madam! said the poor weeping,
+good natured creature, in broken sentences--you must--indeed you
+must--deliver to Betty--or to me--your pen and ink.
+
+Must I, my sweet Cousin? then I will to you; but not to this bold body.
+And so I gave my standish to her.
+
+I am sorry, very sorry, said she, Miss, to be the messenger: but your
+papa will not have you in the same house with him: he is resolved you
+shall be carried away to-morrow, or Saturday at farthest. And therefore
+your pen and ink are taken away, that you may give nobody notice of it.
+
+And away went the dear girl, very sorrowful, carrying down with her my
+standish, and all its furniture, and a little parcel of pens beside,
+which having been seen when the great search was made, she was bid to
+ask for.
+
+As it happened, I had not diminished it, having hid half a dozen crow
+quills in as many different places. It was lucky; for I doubt not they
+had numbered how many were in the parcel.
+
+Betty ran on, telling me, that my mother was now as much incensed
+against me as any body--that my doom was fixed--that my violent
+behaviour had not left one to plead for me--that Mr. Solmes bit his lip,
+and muttered, and seemed to have more in his head, than could come out
+at his mouth; that was her phrase.
+
+And yet she also hinted to me, that the cruel wretch took pleasure
+in seeing me; although so much to my disgust--and so wanted to see me
+again.--Must he not be a savage, my dear?
+
+The wench went on--that my uncle Harlowe said, That now he gave me
+up--that he pitied Mr. Solmes--yet hoped he would not think of this
+to my detriment hereafter: that my uncle Antony was of opinion, that
+I ought to smart for it: and, for her part--and then, as one of the
+family, she gave her opinion of the same side.
+
+As I have no other way of hearing any thing that is said or intended
+below, I bear sometimes more patiently than I otherwise should do with
+her impertinence. And indeed she seems to be in all my brother's and
+sister's counsels.
+
+Miss Hervey came up again, and demanded an half-pint ink-bottle which
+they had seen in my closet.
+
+I gave it her without hesitation.
+
+If they have no suspicion of my being able to write, they will perhaps
+let me stay longer than otherwise they would.
+
+This, my dear, is now my situation.
+
+All my dependence, all my hopes, are in your mother's favour. But for
+that, I know not what I might do: For who can tell what will come next?
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXXVI
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE WEDNESDAY, FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE
+AFTERNOON
+
+
+I am just returned from depositing the letter I so lately finished, and
+such of Mr. Lovelace's letters as I had not sent you. My long letter I
+found remaining there--so you will have both together.
+
+I am convinced, methinks, it is not with you.--But your servant cannot
+always be at leisure. However, I will deposit as fast as I write. I must
+keep nothing by me now; and when I write, lock myself in, that I may not
+be surprised now they think I have no pen and ink.
+
+I found in the usual place another letter from this diligent man: and,
+by its contents, a confirmation that nothing passes in this house but
+he knows it; and that almost as soon as it passes. For this letter
+must have been written before he could have received my billet; and
+deposited, I suppose, when that was taken away; yet he compliments me in
+it upon asserting myself (as he calls it) on that occasion to my uncle
+and to Mr. Solmes.
+
+'He assures me, however, that they are more and more determined to
+subdue me.
+
+'He sends me the compliments of his family; and acquaints me with their
+earnest desire to see me amongst them. Most vehemently does he press for
+my quitting this house, while it is in my power to get away: and again
+craves leave to order his uncle's chariot-and-six to attend my commands
+at the stile leading to the coppice adjoining to the paddock.
+
+'Settlements to my own will he again offers. Lord M. and Lady Sarah and
+Lady Betty to be guarantees of his honour and justice. But, if I choose
+not to go to either of those ladies, nor yet to make him the happiest of
+men so soon as it is nevertheless his hope that I will, he urges me to
+withdraw to my own house, and to accept of Lord M. for my guardian and
+protector till my cousin Morden arrives. He can contrive, he says,
+to give me easy possession of it, and will fill it with his female
+relations on the first invitation from me; and Mrs. Norton, or Miss
+Howe, may be undoubtedly prevailed upon to be with me for a time. There
+can be no pretence for litigation, he says, when I am once in it. Nor,
+if I choose to have it so, will he appear to visit me; nor presume to
+mention marriage to me till all is quiet and easy; till every method I
+shall prescribe for a reconciliation with my friends is tried; till my
+cousin comes; till such settlements are drawn as he shall approve of for
+me; and that I have unexceptionable proofs of his own good behaviour.'
+
+As to the disgrace a person of my character may be apprehensive of upon
+quitting my father's house, he observes (too truly I doubt) 'That the
+treatment I meet with is in every one's mouth: yet, he says, that the
+public voice is in my favour. My friends themselves, he says, expect
+that I will do myself what he calls, this justice: why else do they
+confine me? He urges, that, thus treated, the independence I have a
+right to will be my sufficient excuse, going but from their house to my
+own, if I choose that measure; or in order to take possession of my
+own, if I do not: that all the disgrace I can receive, they have already
+given me: that his concern and his family's concern in my honour, will
+be equal to my own, if he may be so happy ever to call me his: and he
+presumes, he says, to aver, that no family can better supply the loss
+of my own friends to me than his, in whatever way I shall do them the
+honour to accept of his and their protection.
+
+'But he repeats, that, in all events, he will oppose my being carried to
+my uncle's; being well assured, that I shall be lost to him for ever, if
+once I enter into that house.' He tells me, 'That my brother and sister,
+and Mr. Solmes, design to be there to receive me: that my father and
+mother will not come near me till the ceremony is actually over: and
+that then they will appear, in order to try to reconcile me to my odious
+husband, by urging upon me the obligations I shall be supposed to be
+under from a double duty.'
+
+How, my dear, am I driven on one side, and invited on the other!--This
+last intimation is but a too probable one. All the steps they take seem
+to tend to this! And, indeed, they have declared almost as much.
+
+He owns, 'That he has already taken his measures upon this
+intelligence:--but that he is so desirous for my sake (I must suppose,
+he says, that he owes them no forbearance for their own) to avoid coming
+to extremities, that he has suffered a person, whom they do not suspect,
+to acquaint them with his resolutions, as if come at by accident, if
+they persist in their design to carry me by violence to my uncle's;
+in hopes, that they may be induced from the fear of mischief which
+may ensue, to change their measures: and yet he is aware, that he has
+exposed himself to the greatest risques by having caused this intimation
+to be given them; since, if he cannot benefit himself by their fears,
+there is no doubt but they will doubly guard themselves against him upon
+it.'
+
+What a dangerous enterpriser, however, is this man!
+
+'He begs a few lines from me by way of answer to this letter, either
+this evening, or to-morrow morning. If he be not so favoured, he shall
+conclude, from what he knows of the fixed determination of my relations,
+that I shall be under a closer restraint than before: and he shall be
+obliged to take his measures according to that presumption.'
+
+You will see by this abstract, as well by his letter preceding this,
+(for both run in the same strain,) how strangely forward the difficulty
+of my situation has brought him in his declarations and proposals; and
+in his threatenings too: which, but for that, I would not take from him.
+
+Something, however, I must speedily resolve upon, or it will be out of
+my power to help myself.
+
+Now I think of it, I will enclose his letter, (so might have spared the
+abstract of it,) that you may the better judge of all his proposals, and
+intelligence; and les it should fall into other hands. I cannot forgive
+the contents, although I am at a loss what answer to return.*
+
+
+     * She accordingly encloses Mr. Lovelace's letter. But as the
+     most material contents of it are given in her abstract, it
+     is omitted.
+
+
+I cannot bear the thoughts of throwing myself upon the protection of his
+friends:--but I will not examine his proposals closely till I hear from
+you. Indeed, I have no eligible hope, but in your mother's goodness Hers
+is a protection I could more reputably fly to, than to that of any other
+person: and from hers should be ready to return to my father's (for the
+breach then would not be irreparable, as it would be, if I fled to
+his family): to return, I repeat, on such terms as shall secure but my
+negative; not my independence: I do not aim at that (so shall lay your
+mother under the less difficulty); though I have a right to be put
+into possession of my grandfather's estate, if I were to insist upon
+it:--such a right, I mean, as my brother exerts in the bid, that I
+should ever think myself freed from my father's reasonable controul,
+whatever right my grandfather's will has given me! He, good gentleman,
+left me that estate, as a reward of my duty, and not to set me above
+it, as has been justly hinted to me: and this reflection makes me more
+fearful of not answering the intention of so valuable a bequest.--Oh!
+that my friends knew but my heart!--Would but think of it as they used
+to do!--For once more, I say, If it deceive me not, it is not altered,
+although theirs are!
+
+Would but your mother permit you to send her chariot, or chaise, to the
+bye-place where Mr. Lovelace proposes Lord M.'s shall come, (provoked,
+intimidated, and apprehensive, as I am,) I would not hesitate a moment
+what to do. Place me any where, as I have said before--in a cot, in a
+garret; any where--disguised as a servant--or let me pass as a servant's
+sister--so that I may but escape Mr. Solmes on one hand, and the
+disgrace of refuging with the family of a man at enmity with my own,
+on the other; and I shall be in some measure happy!--Should your
+good mother refuse me, what refuge, or whose, can I fly to?--Dearest
+creature, advise your distressed friend.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I broke off here--I was so excessively uneasy, that I durst not trust
+myself with my own reflections. I therefore went down to the garden, to
+try to calm my mind, by shifting the scene. I took but one turn upon the
+filbert-walk, when Betty came to me. Here, Miss, is your papa--here
+is your uncle Antony--here is my young master--and my young mistress,
+coming to take a walk in the garden; and your papa sends me to see where
+you are, for fear he should meet you.
+
+I struck into an oblique path, and got behind the yew-hedge, seeing my
+sister appear; and there concealed myself till they were gone past me.
+
+My mother, it seems is not well. My poor mother keeps her
+chamber--should she be worse, I should have an additional unhappiness,
+in apprehension that my reputed undutifulness had touched her heart.
+
+You cannot imagine what my emotions were behind the yew-hedge, on seeing
+my father so near me. I was glad to look at him through the hedge as he
+passed by: but I trembled in every joint, when I heard him utter these
+words: Son James, to you, and to you Bella, and to you, Brother, do I
+wholly commit this matter. That I was meant, I cannot doubt. And yet,
+why was I so affected; since I may be said to have been given up to the
+cruelty of my brother and sister for many days past?
+
+
+*****
+
+
+While my father remained in the garden, I sent my dutiful compliments
+to my mother, with inquiry after her health, by Shorey, whom I met
+accidentally upon the stairs; for none of the servants, except my
+gaoleress, dare to throw themselves in my way. I had the mortification
+of such a return, as made me repent my message, though not my concern
+for her health. 'Let her not inquire after the disorders she occasions,'
+was her harsh answer. 'I will not receive any compliments from her.'
+
+Very, very hard, my dear! Indeed it is very hard.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+
+I have the pleasure to hear that my mother is already better. A colicky
+disorder, to which she is too subject. It is hoped it is gone off--God
+send it may!--Every evil that happens in this house is owing to me!
+
+This good news was told me, with a circumstance very unacceptable; for
+Betty said, she had orders to let me know, that my garden-walks and
+poultry-visits were suspected; and that both will be prohibited, if I
+stay here till Saturday or Monday.
+
+Possibly this is said by order, to make me go with less reluctance to my
+uncle's.
+
+My mother bid her say, if I expostulated about these orders, and about
+my pen and ink, 'that reading was more to the purpose, at present, than
+writing: that by the one, I might be taught my duty; that the other,
+considering whom I was believed to write to, only stiffened my will:
+that my needle-works had better be pursued than my airings; which were
+observed to be taken in all weathers.'
+
+So, my dear, if I do not resolve upon something soon, I shall neither be
+able to avoid the intended evil, nor have it in my power to correspond
+with you.
+
+
+*****
+
+WEDNESDAY NIGHT.
+
+All is in a hurry below-stairs. Betty is in and out like a spy.
+Something is working, I know not what. I am really a good deal
+disordered in body as well as in mind. Indeed I am quite heart-sick.
+
+I will go down, though 'tis almost dark, on pretence of getting a little
+air and composure. Robert has my two former, I hope, before now: and
+I will deposit this, with Lovelace's enclosed, if I can, for fear of
+another search.
+
+I know not what I shall do!--All is so strangely busy!--Doors clapt
+to--going out of one apartment, hurryingly, as I may say, into another.
+Betty in her alarming way, staring, as if of frighted importance; twice
+with me in half an hour; called down in haste by Shorey the last time;
+leaving me with still more meaning in her looks and gestures--yet
+possibly nothing in all this worthy of my apprehensions--
+
+Here again comes the creature, with her deep-drawn affected sighs, and
+her O dear's! O dear's!
+
+
+*****
+
+
+More dark hints thrown out by the saucy creature. But she will not
+explain herself. 'Suppose this pretty business ends in murder! she says.
+I may rue my opposition as long as I live, for aught she knows. Parents
+will not be baffled out of their children by imprudent gentlemen; nor is
+it fit they should. It may come home to me when I least expect it.'
+
+These are the gloomy and perplexing hints this impertinent throws
+out. Probably they arose from the information Mr. Lovelace says he has
+secretly permitted them to have (from this vile double-faced agent, I
+suppose!) of his resolution to prevent my being carried to my uncle's.
+
+How justly, if so, may this exasperate them!--How am I driven to and
+fro, like a feather in the wind, at the pleasure of the rash, the
+selfish, the headstrong! and when I am as averse to the proceedings of
+the one, as I am to those of the other! For although I was induced to
+carry on this unhappy correspondence, as I think I ought to call it, in
+hopes to prevent mischief; yet indiscreet measures are fallen upon by
+the rash man, before I, who am so much concerned in the event of the
+present contentions, can be consulted: and between his violence on one
+hand, and that of my relations on the other, I find myself in danger
+from both.
+
+O my dear! what is worldly wisdom but the height of folly!--I, the
+meanest, at least youngest, of my father's family, to thrust myself
+in the gap between such uncontroulable spirits!--To the intercepting
+perhaps of the designs of Providence, which may intend to make those
+hostile spirits their own punishers.--If so, what presumption!--Indeed,
+my dear friend, I am afraid I have thought myself of too much
+consequence. But, however this be, it is good, when calamities befal us,
+that we should look into ourselves, and fear.
+
+If I am prevented depositing this and the enclosed, (as I intend to try
+to do, late as it is,) I will add to it as occasion shall offer. Mean
+time, believe me to be
+
+Your ever-affectionate and grateful CL. HARLOWE.
+
+Under the superscription, written with a pencil, after she went down.
+
+'My two former are not yet taken away--I am surprised--I hope you are
+well--I hope all is right betwixt your mother and you.'
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXXVII
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE THURSDAY MORNING, APRIL 9.
+
+I have your three letters. Never was there a creature more impatient on
+the most interesting uncertainty than I was, to know the event of the
+interview between you and Solmes.
+
+It behoves me to account to my dear friend, in her present unhappy
+situation, for every thing that may have the least appearance of
+negligence or remissness on my part. I sent Robin in the morning early,
+in hopes of a deposit. He loitered about the place till near ten to
+no purpose; and then came away; my mother having given him a letter to
+carry to Mr. Hunt's, which he was to deliver before three, when only, in
+the day-time, that gentleman is at home; and to bring back an answer to
+it. Mr. Hunt's house, you know, lies wide from Harlowe-place. Robin but
+just saved his time; and returned not till it was too late to send him
+again. I only could direct him to set out before day this morning; and
+if he got any letter, to ride as for his life to bring it to me.
+
+I lay by myself: a most uneasy night I had through impatience; and being
+discomposed with it, lay longer than usual. Just as I was risen, in came
+Kitty, from Robin, with your three letters. I was not a quarter dressed;
+and only slipt on my morning sack; proceeding no further till I had
+read them all through, long as they are: and yet I often stopped to rave
+aloud (though by myself) at the devilish people you have to deal with.
+
+How my heart rises at them all! How poorly did they design to trick
+you into an encouragement of Solmes, from the extorted interview!--I
+am very, very angry at your aunt Hervey--to give up her own judgment so
+tamely!--and, not content to do so, to become such an active instrument
+in their hands!--But it is so like the world!--so like my mother
+too!--Next to her own child, there is not any body living she values so
+much as you:--Yet it is--Why should we embroil ourselves, Nancy, with
+the affairs of other people?
+
+Other people!--How I hate the poor words, where friendship is concerned,
+and where the protection to be given may be of so much consequence to a
+friend, and of so little detriment to one's self?
+
+I am delighted with your spirit, however. I expected it not from you
+Nor did they, I am sure. Nor would you, perhaps, have exerted it, if
+Lovelace's intelligence of Solmes's nursery-offices had not set you up.
+I wonder not that the wretch is said to love you the better for it. What
+an honour would it be to him to have such a wife? And he can be even
+with you when you are so. He must indeed be a savage, as you say.--Yet
+he is less to blame for his perseverance, than those of your own family,
+whom most you reverence for theirs.
+
+It is well, as I have often said, that I have not such provocations
+and trials; I should perhaps long ago have taken your cousin Dolly's
+advice--yet dare I not to touch that key.--I shall always love the good
+girl for her tenderness to you.
+
+I know not what to say of Lovelace; nor what to think of his promises,
+nor of his proposals to you. 'Tis certain that you are highly esteemed
+by all his family. The ladies are persons of unblemished honour. My Lord
+M. is also (as men and peers go) a man of honour. I could tell what to
+advise any other person in the world to do but you. So much expected
+from you!--Such a shining light!--Your quitting your father's house, and
+throwing yourself into the protection of a family, however honourable,
+that has a man in it, whose person, parts, declarations, and
+pretensions, will be thought to have engaged your warmest
+esteem;--methinks I am rather for advising that you should get privately
+to London; and not to let either him, or any body else but me, know
+where you are, till your cousin Morden comes.
+
+As to going to your uncle's, that you must not do, if you can help
+it. Nor must you have Solmes, that's certain: Not only because of his
+unworthiness in every respect, but because of the aversion you have so
+openly avowed to him; which every body knows and talks of; as they do
+of your approbation of the other. For your reputation sake therefore,
+as well as to prevent mischief, you must either live single, or have
+Lovelace.
+
+If you think of going to London, let me know; and I hope you will have
+time to allow me a further concert as to the manner of your getting
+away, and thither, and how to procure proper lodgings for you.
+
+To obtain this time, you must palliate a little, and come into some
+seeming compromise, if you cannot do otherwise. Driven as you are
+driven, it will be strange if you are not obliged to part with a few of
+your admirable punctilio's.
+
+You will observe from what I have written, that I have not succeeded
+with my mother.
+
+I am extremely mortified and disappointed. We have had very strong
+debates upon it. But, besides the narrow argument of embroiling
+ourselves with other people's affairs, as above-mentioned, she will have
+it, that it is your duty to comply. She says, she was always of opinion
+that daughters should implicitly submit to the will of their parents in
+the great article of marriage; and that she governed herself accordingly
+in marrying my father; who at first was more the choice of her parents
+than her own.
+
+This is what she argues in behalf of her favourite Hickman, as well as
+for Solmes in your case.
+
+I must not doubt, but my mother always governed herself by this
+principle--because she says she did. I have likewise another reason to
+believe it; which you shall have, though it may not become me to give
+it--that they did not live so happily together, as one would hope people
+might do who married preferring each other at the time to the rest of
+the world.
+
+Somebody shall fare never the better for this double-meant policy of my
+mother, I do assure you. Such a retrospection in her arguments to
+him, and to his address, it is but fit that he should suffer for my
+mortification in failing to carry a point upon which I had set my whole
+heart.
+
+Think, my dear, if in any way I can serve you. If you allow of it,
+I protest I will go off privately with you, and we will live and die
+together. Think of it. Improve upon my hint, and command me.
+
+A little interruption.--What is breakfast to the subject I am upon?
+
+
+*****
+
+
+London, I am told, is the best hiding-place in the world. I have written
+nothing but what I will stand in to at the word of command. Women love
+to engage in knight-errantry, now-and-then, as well as to encourage
+it in the men. But in your case, what I propose will not seem to have
+anything of that nature in it. It will enable me to perform what is no
+more than a duty in serving and comforting a dear and worthy friend, who
+labours under undeserved oppression: and you will ennoble, as I may say,
+your Anna Howe, if you allow her to be your companion in affliction.
+
+I will engage, my dear, we shall not be in town together one month,
+before we surmount all difficulties; and this without being beholden to
+any men-fellows for their protection.
+
+I must repeat what I have often said, that the authors of your
+persecutions would not have presumed to set on foot their selfish
+schemes against you, had they not depended upon the gentleness of your
+spirit; though now, having gone so far, and having engaged Old AUTHORITY
+in it, [chide me if you will!] neither he nor they know how to recede.
+
+When they find you out of their reach, and know that I am with you,
+you'll see how they'll pull in their odious horns.
+
+I think, however, that you should have written to your cousin Morden,
+the moment they had begun to treat you disgracefully.
+
+I shall be impatient to hear whether they will attempt to carry you to
+your uncle's. I remember, that Lord M.'s dismissed bailiff reported of
+Lovelace, that he had six or seven companions as bad as himself; and
+that the country was always glad when they left it.* He actually has, as
+I hear, such a knot of them about him now. And, depend upon it, he will
+not suffer them quietly to carry you to your uncle's: And whose must you
+be, if he succeeds in taking you from them?
+
+
+     * See Vol.I. Letter IV.
+
+
+I tremble for you but upon supposing what may be the consequence of a
+conflict upon this occasion. Lovelace owes some of them vengeance. This
+gives me a double concern, that my mother should refuse her consent to
+the protection I had set my heart upon procuring for you.
+
+My mother will not breakfast without me. A quarrel has its conveniencies
+sometimes. Yet too much love, I think, is as bad as too little.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+We have just now had another pull. Upon my word, she is
+excessively--what shall I say?--unpersuadable--I must let her off with
+that soft word.
+
+Who was the old Greek, that said, he governed Athens; his wife, him; and
+his son, her?
+
+It was not my mother's fault [I am writing to you, you know] that she
+did not govern my father. But I am but a daughter!--Yet I thought I was
+not quite so powerless when I was set upon carrying a point, as I find
+myself to be.
+
+Adieu, my dear!--Happier times must come--and that quickly too.--The
+strings cannot long continue to be thus overstrained. They must break
+or be relaxed. In either way, the certainty must be preferable to the
+suspense.
+
+One word more:
+
+I think in my conscience you must take one of these two alternatives;
+either to consent to let us go to London together privately; [in which
+case, I will procure a vehicle, and meet you at your appointment at the
+stile to which Lovelace proposes to bring his uncle's chariot;] or,
+to put yourself into the protection of Lord M. and the ladies of his
+family.
+
+You have another, indeed; and that is, if you are absolutely resolved
+against Solmes, to meet and marry Lovelace directly.
+
+Whichsoever of these you make choice of, you will have this plea,
+both to yourself, and to the world, that you are concluded by the same
+uniform principle that has governed your whole conduct, ever since the
+contention between Lovelace and your brother has been on foot: that
+is to say, that you have chosen a lesser evil, in hopes to prevent a
+greater.
+
+Adieu! and Heaven direct for the best my beloved creature, prays
+
+Her ANNA HOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXXVIII
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE THURSDAY, APRIL 6.
+
+
+I thank you, my dearest friend, for the pains you have taken in
+accounting so affectionately for my papers not being taken away
+yesterday; and for the kind protection you would have procured for me,
+if you could.
+
+This kind protection was what I wished for: but my wishes, raised at
+first by your love, were rather governed by my despair of other refuge
+[having before cast about, and not being able to determine, what I
+ought to do, and what I could do, in a situation so unhappy] than by a
+reasonable hope: For why indeed should any body embroil themselves for
+others, when they can avoid it?
+
+All my consolation is, as I have frequently said, that I have not, by my
+own inadvertence or folly, brought myself into this sad situation. If I
+had, I should not have dared to look up to any body with the expectation
+of protection or assistance, nor to you for excuse of the trouble I give
+you. But nevertheless we should not be angry at a person's not doing
+that for ourselves, or for our friend, which she thinks she ought not to
+do; and which she has it in her option either to do, or to let it alone.
+Much less have you a right to be displeased with so prudent a mother,
+for not engaging herself so warmly in my favour, as you wished she
+would. If my own aunt can give me up, and that against her judgment, as
+I may presume to say; and if my father and mother, and uncles, who once
+loved me so well, can join so strenuously against me; can I expect, or
+ought you, the protection of your mother, in opposition to them?
+
+Indeed, my dear love, [permit me to be very serious,] I am afraid I am
+singled out (either for my own faults, or for the faults of my
+family, or perhaps for the faults of both) to be a very unhappy
+creature!--signally unhappy! For see you not how irresistible the waves
+of affliction come tumbling down upon me?
+
+We have been till within these few weeks, every one of us, too happy. No
+crosses, no vexations, but what we gave ourselves from the pamperedness,
+as I may call it, of our own wills. Surrounded by our heaps and stores,
+hoarded up as fast as acquired, we have seemed to think ourselves out
+of the reach of the bolts of adverse fate. I was the pride of all my
+friends, proud myself of their pride, and glorying in my standing. Who
+knows what the justice of Heaven may inflict, in order to convince us,
+that we are not out of the reach of misfortune; and to reduce us to a
+better reliance, than what we have hitherto presumptuously made?
+
+I should have been very little the better for the conversation-visits
+with the good Dr. Lewen used to honour me with, and for the principles
+wrought (as I may say) into my earliest mind by my pious Mrs. Norton,
+founded on her reverend father's experience, as well as on her own, if
+I could not thus retrospect and argue, in such a strange situation as we
+are in. Strange, I may well call it; for don't you see, my dear, that we
+seem all to be impelled, as it were, by a perverse fate, which none of
+us are able to resist?--and yet all arising (with a strong appearance
+of self-punishment) from ourselves? Do not my parents see the hopeful
+children, from whom they expected a perpetuity of worldly happiness
+to their branching family, now grown up to answer the till now distant
+hope, setting their angry faces against each other, pulling up by the
+roots, as I may say, that hope which was ready to be carried into a
+probable certainty?
+
+Your partial love will be ready to acquit me of capital and intentional
+faults:--but oh, my dear! my calamities have humbled me enough to make
+me turn my gaudy eye inward; to make me look into myself.--And what have
+I discovered there?--Why, my dear friend, more secret pride and vanity
+than I could have thought had lain in my unexamined heart.
+
+If I am to be singled out to be the punisher of myself and family, who
+so lately was the pride of it, pray for me, my dear, that I may not
+be left wholly to myself; and that I may be enabled to support my
+character, so as to be justly acquitted of wilful and premeditated
+faults. The will of Providence be resigned to in the rest: as that
+leads, let me patiently and unrepiningly follow!--I shall not live
+always!--May but my closing scene be happy!
+
+But I will not oppress you, my dearest friend, with further reflections
+of this sort. I will take them all into myself. Surely I have a mind
+that has room for them. My afflictions are too sharp to last long. The
+crisis is at hand. Happier times you bid me hope for. I will hope.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+But yet, I cannot be but impatient at times, to find myself thus driven,
+and my character so depreciated and sunk, that were all the future to be
+happy, I should be ashamed to shew my face in public, or to look up. And
+all by the instigation of a selfish brother, and envious sister--
+
+But let me stop: let me reflect!--Are not these suggestions the
+suggestions of the secret pride I have been censuring? Then, already
+so impatient! but this moment so resigned, so much better disposed
+for reflection! yet 'tis hard, 'tis very hard, to subdue an embittered
+spirit!--in the instant of its trial too!--O my cruel brother!--but
+now it rises again.--I will lay down a pen I am so little able
+to govern.--And I will try to subdue an impatience, which (if my
+afflictions are sent me for corrective ends) may otherwise lead me into
+still more punishable errors.--
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I will return to a subject, which I cannot fly from for ten minutes
+together--called upon especially, as I am, by your three alternatives
+stated in the conclusion of your last.
+
+As to the first; to wit, your advice for me to escape to London--let me
+tell you, that the other hint or proposal which accompanies it perfectly
+frightens me--surely, my dear, (happy as you are, and indulgently
+treated as your mother treats you,) you cannot mean what you propose!
+What a wretch must I be, if, for one moment only, I could lend an ear
+to such a proposal as this!--I, to be the occasion of making such
+a mother's (perhaps shortened) life unhappy to the last hour of
+it!--Ennoble you, my dear creature! How must such an enterprise (the
+rashness public, the motives, were they excusable, private) debase
+you!--but I will not dwell upon the subject--for your own sake I will
+not.
+
+As to your second alternative, to put myself into the protection of Lord
+M. and of the ladies of that family, I own to you, (as I believe I have
+owned before,) that although to do this would be the same thing in the
+eye of the world as putting myself into Mr. Lovelace's protection, yet
+I think I would do it rather than be Mr. Solmes's wife, if there were
+evidently no other way to avoid being so.
+
+Mr. Lovelace, you have seen, proposes to contrive a way to put me into
+possession of my own house; and he tells me, that he will soon fill
+it with the ladies of his family, as my visiters;--upon my invitation,
+however, to them. A very inconsiderate proposal I think it to be,
+and upon which I cannot explain myself to him. What an exertion of
+independency does it chalk out for me! How, were I to attend to him,
+(and not to the natural consequences to which the following of his
+advice would lead me,) might I be drawn by gentle words into the
+penetration of the most violent acts!--For how could I gain possession,
+but either by legal litigation, which, were I inclined to have recourse
+to it, (as I never can be,) must take up time; or by forcibly turning
+out the persons whom my father has placed there, to look after the
+gardens, the house, and the furniture--persons entirely attached to
+himself, and who, as I know, have been lately instructed by my brother?
+
+Your third alternative, to meet and marry Mr. Lovelace directly; a man
+with whose morals I am far from being satisfied--a step, that could
+not be taken with the least hope of ever obtaining pardon from or
+reconciliation with any of my friends; and against which a thousand
+objections rise in my mind--that is not to be thought of.
+
+What appears to me, upon the fullest deliberation, the most eligible,
+if I must be thus driven, is the escaping to London. But I would forfeit
+all my hopes of happiness in this life, rather than you should go away
+with me, as you rashly, though with the kindest intentions, propose.
+If I could get safely thither, and be private, methinks I might remain
+absolutely independent of Mr. Lovelace, and at liberty either to make
+proposals to my friends, or, should they renounce me, (and I had no
+other or better way,) to make terms with him; supposing my cousin
+Morden, on his arrival, were to join with my other relations. But they
+would then perhaps indulge me in my choice of a single life, on giving
+him up: the renewing to them this offer, when at my own liberty, will
+at least convince them, that I was in earnest when I made it first: and,
+upon my word, I would stand to it, dear as you seem to think, when you
+are disposed to rally me, it would cost me, to stand to it.
+
+If, my dear, you can procure a vehicle for us both, you can perhaps
+procure one for me singly: but can it be done without embroiling
+yourself with your mother, or her with our family?--Be it coach,
+chariot, chaise, wagon, or horse, I matter not, provided you appear not
+to have a hand in my withdrawing. Only, in case it be one of the two
+latter, I believe I must desire you to get me an ordinary gown and coat,
+or habit, of some servant; having no concert with any of our own: the
+more ordinary the better. They must be thrust on in the wood-house;
+where I can put them on; and then slide down from the bank, that
+separates the wood-yard from the green lane.
+
+But, alas! my dear, this, even this alternative, is not without
+difficulties, which, to a spirit so little enterprising as mine, seem in
+a manner insuperable. These are my reflections upon it.
+
+I am afraid, in the first place, that I shall not have time for the
+requisite preparations for an escape.
+
+Should I be either detected in those preparations, or pursued and
+overtaken in my flight, and so brought back, then would they think
+themselves doubly warranted to compel me to have their Solmes: and,
+conscious of an intended fault, perhaps, I should be the less able to
+contend with them.
+
+But were I even to get safely to London, I know nobody there but by
+name; and those the tradesmen to our family; who, no doubt, would be
+the first written to and engaged to find me out. And should Mr. Lovelace
+discover where I was, and he and my brother meet, what mischiefs
+might ensue between them, whether I were willing or not to return to
+Harlowe-place!
+
+But supposing I could remain there concealed, to what might my youth, my
+sex, and unacquaintedness of the ways of that great, wicked town, expose
+me!--I should hardly dare to go to church for fear of being discovered.
+People would wonder how I lived. Who knows but I might pass for a kept
+mistress; and that, although nobody came to me, yet, that every time I
+went out, it might be imagined to be in pursuance of some assignation?
+
+You, my dear, who alone would know where to direct to me, would be
+watched in all your steps, and in all your messages; and your mother,
+at present not highly pleased with our correspondence, would then have
+reason to be more displeased: And might not differences follow between
+her and you, that would make me very unhappy, were I to know them? And
+this the more likely, as you take it so unaccountably (and, give me
+leave to say, so ungenerously) into your head, to revenge yourself upon
+the innocent Mr. Hickman, for all the displeasure your mother gives you.
+
+Were Lovelace to find out my place of abode, that would be the same
+thing in the eye of the world as if I had actually gone off with him:
+For would he, do you think, be prevailed upon to forbear visiting me?
+And then his unhappy character (a foolish man!) would be no credit to
+any young creature desirous of concealment. Indeed the world, let me
+escape whither, and to whomsoever I could, would conclude him to be the
+contriver of it.
+
+These are the difficulties which arise to me on revolving this scheme;
+which, nevertheless, might appear surmountable to a more enterprising
+spirit in my circumstances. If you, my dear, think them surmountable in
+any one of the cases put, [and to be sure I can take no course, but what
+must have some difficulty in it,] be pleased to let me know your free
+and full thoughts upon it.
+
+Had you, my dear friend, been married, then should I have had no doubt
+but that you and Mr. Hickman would have afforded an asylum to a poor
+creature more than half lost in her own apprehension for want of one
+kind protecting friend!
+
+You say I should have written to my cousin Morden the moment I was
+treated disgracefully: But could I have believed that my friends would
+not have softened by degrees when they saw my antipathy to their Solmes?
+
+I had thoughts indeed several times of writing to my cousin: but by the
+time an answer could have come, I imagined all would have been over, as
+if it had never been: so from day to day, from week to week, I hoped on:
+and, after all, I might as reasonably fear (as I have heretofore said)
+that my cousin would be brought to side against me, as that some of
+those I have named would.
+
+And then to appeal a cousin [I must have written with warmth to engage
+him] against a father; this was not a desirable thing to set about. Then
+I had not, you know, one soul on my side; my mother herself against me.
+To be sure my cousin would have suspended his judgment till he could
+have arrived. He might not have been in haste to come, hoping the malady
+would cure itself: but had he written, his letters probably would have
+run in the qualifying style; to persuade me to submit, or them only to
+relax. Had his letters been more on my side than on theirs, they would
+not have regarded them: nor perhaps himself, had he come and been an
+advocate for me: for you see how strangely determined they are; how they
+have over-awed or got in every body; so that no one dare open their lips
+in my behalf. And you have heard that my brother pushes his measures
+with the more violence, that all may be over with me before my cousin's
+expected arrival.
+
+But you tell me, that, in order to gain time, I must palliate; that I
+must seem to compromise with my friends: But how palliate? How seem to
+compromise? You would not have me endeavour to make them believe, that I
+will consent to what I never intended to consent to! You would not have
+me to gain time, with a view to deceive!
+
+To do evil, that good may come of it, is forbidden: And shall I do evil,
+yet know not whether good may come of it or not?
+
+Forbid it, heaven! that Clarissa Harlowe should have it in her thought
+to serve, or even to save herself at the expense of her sincerity, and
+by a studied deceit!
+
+And is there, after all, no way to escape one great evil, but by
+plunging myself into another?--What an ill-fated creature am I!--Pray
+for me, my dearest Nancy!--my mind is at present so much disturbed, that
+I can hardly pray for myself.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XXXIX
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE THURSDAY NIGHT.
+
+
+This alarming hurry I mentioned under my date of last night, and Betty's
+saucy dark hints, come out to be owing to what I guessed they were; that
+is to say, to the private intimation Mr. Lovelace contrived our family
+should have of his insolent resolution [insolent I must call it] to
+prevent my being carried to my uncle's.
+
+I saw at the time that it was as wrong with respect to answering his own
+view, as it was insolent: For, could he think, as Betty (I suppose from
+her betters) justly observed, that parents would be insulted out of
+their right to dispose of their own child, by a violent man, whom they
+hate; and who could have no pretension to dispute that right with them,
+unless what he had from her who had none over herself? And how must
+this insolence of his, aggravated as my brother is able to aggravate it,
+exasperate them against me?
+
+The rash man has indeed so far gained his point, as to intimidate them
+from attempting to carry me away: but he has put them upon a surer and
+a more desperate measure: and this has driven me also into one as
+desperate; the consequence of which, although he could not foresee it,*
+may perhaps too well answer his great end, little as he deserves to have
+it answered.
+
+
+     * She was mistaken in this. Mr. Lovelace did foresee this
+     consequence. All his contrivances led to it, and the whole
+     family, as he boasts, unknown to themselves, were but so
+     many puppets danced by his wires. See Vol.I. Letter XXXI.
+
+
+In short, I have done, as far as I know, the most rash thing that ever I
+did in my life.
+
+But let me give you the motive, and then the action will follow of
+course.
+
+About six o'clock this evening, my aunt (who stays here all night, on my
+account, no doubt) came up and tapped at my door; for I was writing;
+and had locked myself in. I opened it; and she entering, thus delivered
+herself:
+
+I come once more to visit you, my dear; but sorely against my will;
+because it is to impart to you matters of the utmost concern to you, and
+to the whole family.
+
+What, Madam, is now to be done with me? said I, wholly attentive.
+
+You will not be hurried away to your uncle's, child; let that comfort
+you.--They see your aversion to go.--You will not be obliged to go to
+your uncle Antony's.
+
+How you revive me, Madam! this is a cordial to my heart!
+
+I little thought, my dear, what was to follow this supposed
+condescension.
+
+And then I ran over with blessings for this good news, (and she
+permitted me so to do, by her silence); congratulating myself, that
+I thought my father could not resolve to carry things to the last
+extremity.--
+
+Hold, Niece, said she, at last--you must not give yourself too much joy
+upon the occasion neither.--Don't be surprised, my dear.--Why look you
+upon me, child, with so affecting an earnestness?--but you must be Mrs.
+Solmes, for all that.
+
+I was dumb.
+
+She then told me, that they had undoubted information, that a certain
+desperate ruffian (I must excuse her that word, she said) had prepared
+armed men to way-lay my brother and uncles, and seize me, and carry me
+off.--Surely, she said, I was not consenting to a violence that might be
+followed by murder on one side or the other; perhaps on both.
+
+I was still silent.
+
+That therefore my father (still more exasperated than before) had
+changed his resolution as to my going to my uncle's; and was determined
+next Tuesday to set out thither himself with my mother; and that (for
+it was to no purpose to conceal a resolution so soon to be put into
+execution)--I must not dispute it any longer--on Wednesday I must give
+my hand--as they would have me.
+
+She proceeded, that orders were already given for a license: that the
+ceremony was to be performed in my own chamber, in presence of all my
+friends, except of my father and mother; who would not return, nor see
+me, till all was over, and till they had a good account of my behaviour.
+
+The very intelligence, my dear!--the very intelligence this, which
+Lovelace gave me!
+
+I was still dumb--only sighing, as if my heart would break.
+
+She went on, comforting me, as she thought. 'She laid before me the
+merit of obedience; and told me, that if it were my desire that my
+Norton should be present at the ceremony, it would be complied with:
+that the pleasure I should receive from reconciling al my friends to me,
+and in their congratulations upon it, must needs overbalance, with such
+a one as me, the difference of persons, however preferable I might think
+the one man to the other: that love was a fleeting thing, little better
+than a name, where mortality and virtue did not distinguish the object
+of it: that a choice made by its dictates was seldom happy; at least not
+durably so: nor was it to be wondered at, when it naturally exalted the
+object above its merits, and made the lover blind to faults, that were
+visible to every body else: so that when a nearer intimacy stript it of
+its imaginary perfections, it left frequently both parties surprised,
+that they could be so grossly cheated; and that then the indifference
+became stronger than the love ever was. That a woman gave a man great
+advantages, and inspired him with great vanity, when she avowed her
+love for him, and preference of him; and was generally requited with
+insolence and contempt: whereas the confessedly-obliged man, it was
+probable, would be all reverence and gratitude'--and I cannot tell what.
+
+'You, my dear, said she, believe you shall be unhappy, if you have
+Mr. Solmes: your parents think the contrary; and that you will be
+undoubtedly so, were you to have Mr. Lovelace, whose morals are
+unquestionably bad: suppose it were your sad lot to consider, what
+great consolation you will have on one hand, if you pursue your parents'
+advice, that you did so; what mortification on the other, that by
+following your own, you have nobody to blame but yourself.'
+
+This, you remember, my dear, was an argument enforced upon me by Mrs.
+Norton.
+
+These and other observations which she made were worthy of my aunt
+Hervey's good sense and experience, and applied to almost any young
+creature who stood in opposition to her parents' will, but one who had
+offered to make the sacrifices I have offered to make, ought to have had
+their due weight. But although it was easy to answer some of them in my
+own particular case; yet having over and over, to my mother, before my
+confinement, and to my brother and sister, and even to my aunt Hervey,
+since, said what I must now have repeated, I was so much mortified and
+afflicted at the cruel tidings she brought me, that however attentive I
+was to what she said, I had neither power nor will to answer one word;
+and, had she not stopped of herself, she might have gone on an hour
+longer, without interruption from me.
+
+Observing this, and that I only sat weeping, my handkerchief covering
+my face, and my bosom heaving ready to burst; What! no answer, my
+dear?--Why so much silent grief? You know I have always loved you. You
+know, that I have no interest in the affair. You would not permit Mr.
+Solmes to acquaint you with some things which would have set your heart
+against Mr. Lovelace. Shall I tell you some of the matters charged
+against him?--shall I, my dear?
+
+Still I answered only by my tears and sighs.
+
+Well, child, you shall be told these things afterwards, when you will be
+in a better state of mind to hear them; and then you will rejoice in the
+escape you will have had. It will be some excuse, then, for you to plead
+for your behaviour to Mr. Solmes, that you could not have believed Mr.
+Lovelace had been so very vile a man.
+
+My heart fluttered with impatience and anger at being so plainly talked
+to as the wife of this man; but yet I then chose to be silent. If I had
+spoken, it would have been with vehemence.
+
+Strange, my dear, such silence!--Your concern is infinitely more on this
+side the day, than it will be on the other.--But let me ask you, and do
+not be displeased, Will you choose to see what generous stipulations
+for you there are in the settlements?--You have knowledge beyond your
+years--give the writings a perusal: do, my dear: they are engrossed, and
+ready for signing, and have been for some time. Excuse me, my love--I
+mean not to disorder you:--your father would oblige me to bring them up,
+and to leave them with you. He commands you to read them. But to read
+them, Niece--since they are engrossed, and were before you made them
+absolutely hopeless.
+
+And then, to my great terror, she drew some parchments form her
+handkerchief, which she had kept, (unobserved by me,) under her apron;
+and rising, put them in the opposite window. Had she produced a serpent,
+I could not have been more frightened.
+
+Oh! my dearest Aunt, turning away my face, and holding out my hands,
+hide from my eyes those horrid parchments!--Let me conjure you to tell
+me--by all the tenderness of near relationship, and upon your honour,
+and by your love for me, say, Are they absolutely resolved, that, come
+what will, I must be that man's?
+
+My dear, you must have Mr. Solmes: indeed you must.
+
+Indeed I never will!--This, as I have said over and over, is not
+originally my father's will.--Indeed I never will--and that is all I
+will say!
+
+It is your father's will now, replied my aunt: and, considering how
+all the family is threatened by Mr. Lovelace, and the resolution he has
+certainly taken to force you out of their hands, I cannot but say they
+are in the right, not to be bullied out of their child.
+
+Well, Madam, then nothing remains for me to say. I am made desperate. I
+care not what becomes of me.
+
+Your piety, and your prudence, my dear, and Mr. Lovelace's immoral
+character, together with his daring insults, and threatenings, which
+ought to incense you, as much as any body, are every one's dependence.
+We are sure the time will come, when you'll think very differently of
+the steps your friends take to disappoint a man who has made himself so
+justly obnoxious to them all.
+
+She withdrew; leaving me full of grief and indignation:--and as much
+out of humour with Mr. Lovelace as with any body; who, by his conceited
+contrivances, has made things worse for me than before; depriving me
+of the hopes I had of gaining time to receive your advice, and private
+assistance to get to town; and leaving me not other advice, in all
+appearance, than either to throw myself upon his family, or to be made
+miserable for ever with Mr. Solmes. But I was still resolved to avoid
+both these evils, if possible.
+
+I sounded Betty, in the first place, (whom my aunt sent up, not thinking
+it proper, as Betty told me, that I should be left by myself, and who, I
+found, knew their designs,) whether it were not probable that they
+would forbear, at my earnest entreaty, to push matters to the threatened
+extremity.
+
+But she confirmed all my aunt said; rejoicing (as she said they all did)
+that Mr. Lovelace had given them so good a pretence to save me from him
+now, and for ever.
+
+She ran on about equipages bespoken; talked of my brother's and sister's
+exultations that now the whole family would soon be reconciled to each
+other: of the servants' joy upon it: of the expected license: of a visit
+to be paid me by Dr. Lewen, or another clergyman, whom they named not
+to her; which was to crown the work: and of other preparations, so
+particular, as made me dread that they designed to surprise me into a
+still nearer day than Wednesday.
+
+These things made me excessively uneasy. I knew not what to resolve
+upon.
+
+At one time, What have I to do, thought I, but to throw myself at once
+into the protection of Lady Betty Lawrance?--But then, in resentment of
+his fine contrivances, which had so abominably disconcerted me, I soon
+resolved to the contrary: and at last concluded to ask the favour of
+another half-hour's conversation with my aunt.
+
+I sent Betty to her with my request.
+
+She came.
+
+I put it to her, in the most earnest manner, to tell me, whether I might
+not obtain the favour of a fortnight's respite?
+
+She assured me, it would not be granted.
+
+Would a week? Surely a week would?
+
+She believed a week might, if I would promise two things: the first,
+upon my honour, not to write a line out of the house, in that week:
+for it was still suspected, she said, that I found means to write to
+somebody. And, secondly, to marry Mr. Solmes, at the expiration of it.
+
+Impossible! Impossible! I said with a passion--What! might not I be
+obliged with one week, without such a horrid condition as the last?
+
+She would go down, she said, that she might not seem of her own head to
+put upon me what I thought a hardship so great.
+
+She went down: and came up again.
+
+Did I want, was the answer, to give the vilest of men an opportunity to
+put his murderous schemes into execution?--It was time for them to put
+an end to my obstinacy (they were tired out with me) and to his hopes
+at once. And an end should be put on Tuesday or Wednesday next, at
+furthest; unless I would give my honour to comply with the condition
+upon which my aunt had been so good as to allow me a longer time.
+
+I even stamped with impatience!--I called upon her to witness, that
+I was guiltless of the consequence of this compulsion; this barbarous
+compulsion, I called it; let that consequence be what it would.
+
+My aunt chid me in a higher strain than ever she did before.
+
+While I, in a half phrensy, insisted upon seeing my father; such usage,
+I said, set me above fear. I would rejoice to owe my death to him, as I
+did my life.
+
+I did go down half way of the stairs, resolved to throw myself at his
+feet wherever he was.--My aunt was frighted. She owned, that she feared
+for my head.--Indeed I was in a perfect phrensy for a few minutes--but
+hearing my brother's voice, as talking to somebody in my sister's
+apartment just by, I stopt; and heard the barbarous designer say,
+speaking to my sister, This works charmingly, my dear Arabella!
+
+It does! It does! said she, in an exulting accent.
+
+Let us keep it up, said my brother.--The villain is caught in his own
+trap!--Now must she be what we would have her be.
+
+Do you keep my father to it; I'll take care of my mother, said Bella.
+
+Never fear, said he!--and a laugh of congratulation to each other, and
+derision of me (as I made it out) quite turned my frantic humour into a
+vindictive one.
+
+My aunt then just coming down to me, and taking my hand led me up; and
+tried to sooth me.
+
+My raving was turned into sullenness.
+
+She preached patience and obedience to me.
+
+I was silent.
+
+At last she desired me to assure her, that I would offer no violence to
+myself.
+
+God, I said, had given me more grace, I hoped, than to permit me to be
+guilty of so horrid a rashness, I was his creature, and not my own.
+
+She then took leave of me; and I insisted upon her taking down with her
+the odious parchments.
+
+Seeing me in so ill an humour, and very earnest that she should take
+them with her, she took them; but said, that my father should not know
+that she did: and hoped I would better consider of the matter, and be
+calmer next time they were offered to my perusal.
+
+I revolved after she was gone all that my brother and sister had said.
+I dwelt upon their triumphings over me; and found rise in my mind
+a rancour that was new to me; and which I could not withstand.--And
+putting every thing together, dreading the near day, what could I
+do?--Am I in any manner excusable for what I did do?--If I shall be
+condemned by the world, who know not my provocations, may I be acquitted
+by you?--If not, I am unhappy indeed!--for this I did.
+
+Having shaken off the impertinent Betty, I wrote to Mr. Lovelace, to
+let him know, 'That all that was threatened at my uncle Antony's, was
+intended to be executed here. That I had come to a resolution to throw
+myself upon the protection of either of his two aunts, who would afford
+it me--in short, that by endeavouring to obtain leave on Monday to dine
+in the ivy summer-house, I would, if possible, meet him without the
+garden-door, at two, three, four, or five o'clock on Monday afternoon,
+as I should be able. That in the mean time he should acquaint me,
+whether I might hope for either of those ladies' protection: and if I
+might, I absolutely insisted that he should leave me with either, and go
+to London himself, or remain at Lord M.'s; nor offer to visit me, till I
+were satisfied that nothing could be done with my friends in an amicable
+way; and that I could not obtain possession of my own estate, and leave
+to live upon it: and particularly, that he should not hint marriage to
+me, till I consented to hear him upon that subject.--I added, that if
+he could prevail upon one of the Misses Montague to favour me with
+her company on the road, it would make me abundantly more easy in the
+thoughts of carrying into effect a resolution which I had not come to,
+although so driven, but with the utmost reluctance and concern; and
+which would throw such a slur upon my reputation in the eye of the
+world, as perhaps I should never be able to wipe off.'
+
+This was the purport of what I wrote; and down into the garden I slid
+with it in the dark, which at another time I should not have had the
+courage to do; and deposited it, and came up again unknown to any body.
+
+My mind so dreadfully misgave me when I returned, that, to divert in
+some measure my increasing uneasiness, I had recourse to my private pen;
+and in a very short time ran this length.
+
+And now, that I am come to this part, my uneasy reflections begin again
+to pour in upon me. Yet what can I do?--I believe I shall take it back
+again the first thing in the morning--Yet what can I do?
+
+And who knows but they may have a still earlier day in their intention,
+than that which will too soon come?
+
+I hope to deposit this early in the morning for you, as I shall return
+from resuming my letter, if I do resume it as my inwardest mind bids me.
+
+Although it is now near two o'clock, I have a good mind to slide down
+once more, in order to take back my letter. Our doors are always locked
+and barred up at eleven; but the seats of the lesser hall-windows being
+almost even with the ground without, and the shutters not difficult to
+open, I could easily get out.
+
+Yet why should I be thus uneasy, since, should the letter go, I can
+but hear what Mr. Lovelace says to it? His aunts live at too great a
+distance for him to have an immediate answer from them; so I can scruple
+going to them till I have invitation. I can insist upon one of his
+cousins meeting me in the chariot; and may he not be able to obtain
+that favour from either of them. Twenty things may happen to afford me
+a suspension at least: Why should I be so very uneasy?--When likewise
+I can take back my letter early, before it is probable he will have the
+thought of finding it there. Yet he owns he spends three parts of his
+days, and has done for this fortnight past, in loitering about sometimes
+in one disguise, sometimes in another, besides the attendance given by
+his trusty servant when he himself is not in waiting, as he calls it.
+
+But these strange forebodings!--Yet I can, if you advise, cause the
+chariot he shall bring with him, to carry me directly to town, whither
+in my London scheme, if you were to approve it, I had proposed to go:
+and this will save you the trouble of procuring for me a vehicle; as
+well as prevent any suspicion from your mother of your contributing to
+my escape.
+
+But, solicitous of your advice, and approbation too, if I can have it, I
+will put an end to this letter.
+
+Adieu, my dearest friend, adieu!
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XL
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE FRIDAY MORNING, SEVEN O'CLOCK, APRIL
+7.
+
+
+My aunt Hervey, who is a very early riser, was walking in the garden
+(Betty attending her, as I saw from my window this morning) when I
+arose: for after such a train of fatigue and restless nights, I had
+unhappily overslept myself: so all I durst venture upon, was, to step
+down to my poultry-yard, and deposit mine of yesterday, and last night.
+And I am just come up; for she is still in the garden. This prevents me
+from going to resume my letter, as I think still to do; and hope it will
+not be too late.
+
+I said, I had unhappily overslept myself: I went to bed about half
+an hour after two. I told the quarters till five; after which I dropt
+asleep, and awaked not till past six, and then in great terror, from a
+dream, which has made such an impression upon me, that, slightly as I
+think of dreams, I cannot help taking this opportunity to relate it to
+you.
+
+'Methought my brother, my uncle Antony, and Mr. Solmes, had formed a
+plot to destroy Mr. Lovelace; who discovering it, and believing I had a
+hand in it, turned all his rage against me. I thought he made them all
+fly to foreign parts upon it; and afterwards seizing upon me, carried
+me into a church-yard; and there, notwithstanding, all my prayers and
+tears, and protestations of innocence, stabbed me to the heart, and
+then tumbled me into a deep grave ready dug, among two or three
+half-dissolved carcases; throwing in the dirt and earth upon me with his
+hands, and trampling it down with his feet.'
+
+I awoke in a cold sweat, trembling, and in agonies; and still the
+frightful images raised by it remain upon my memory.
+
+But why should I, who have such real evils to contend with, regard
+imaginary ones? This, no doubt, was owing to my disturbed imagination;
+huddling together wildly all the frightful idea which my aunt's
+communications and discourse, my letter to Mr. Lovelace, my own
+uneasiness upon it, and the apprehensions of the dreaded Wednesday,
+furnished me with.
+
+
+*****
+
+EIGHT O'CLOCK.
+
+The man, my dear, has got the letter!--What a strange diligence! I wish
+he mean me well, that he takes so much pains!--Yet, to be ingenuous, I
+must own, that I should be displeased if he took less--I wish, however,
+he had been an hundred miles off!--What an advantage have I given him
+over me!
+
+Now the letter is out of my power, I have more uneasiness and regret
+than I had before. For, till now, I had a doubt, whether it should or
+should not go: and now I think it ought not to have gone. And yet is
+there any other way than to do as I have done, if I would avoid Solmes?
+But what a giddy creature shall I be thought, if I pursue the course to
+which this letter must lead me?
+
+My dearest friend, tell me, have I done wrong?--Yet do not say I have,
+if you think it; for should all the world besides condemn me, I shall
+have some comfort, if you do not. The first time I ever besought you to
+flatter me. That, of itself, is an indication that I have done wrong,
+and am afraid of hearing the truth--O tell me (but yet do not tell me)
+if I have done wrong!
+
+
+*****
+
+
+FRIDAY, ELEVEN O'CLOCK.
+
+My aunt has made me another visit. She began what she had to say
+with letting me know that my friends are all persuaded that I still
+correspond with Mr. Lovelace; as is plain, she said, by hints and
+menaces he throws out, which shew that he is apprized of several things
+that have passed between my relations and me, sometimes within a very
+little while after they have happened.
+
+Although I approve not of the method he stoops to take to come at his
+intelligence, yet it is not prudent in me to clear myself by the ruin of
+the corrupted servant, (although his vileness has neither my connivance
+nor approbation,) since my doing so might occasion the detection of my
+own correspondence; and so frustrate all the hopes I have to avoid
+this Solmes. Yet it is not at all likely, that this very agent of Mr.
+Lovelace acts a double part between my brother and him: How else can our
+family know (so soon too) his menaces upon the passages they hint at?
+
+I assured my aunt, that I was too much ashamed of the treatment I met
+with (and that from every one's sake as well as for my own) to acquaint
+Mr. Lovelace with the particulars of that treatment, even were the means
+of corresponding with him afforded me: that I had reason to think, that
+if he were to know of it from me, we must be upon such terms, that
+he would not scruple making some visits, which would give me great
+apprehensions. They all knew, I said, that I had no communication
+with any of my father's servants, except my sister's Betty Barnes: for
+although I had a good opinion of them all, and believed, if left to
+their own inclinations, that they would be glad to serve me; yet,
+finding by their shy behaviour, that they were under particular
+direction, I had forborn, ever since my Hannah had been so disgracefully
+dismissed, so much as to speak to any of them, for fear I should be the
+occasion of their losing their places too. They must, therefore, account
+among themselves for the intelligence Mr. Lovelace met with, since
+neither my brother nor sister, (as Betty had frequently, in praise of
+their open hearts, informed me,) nor perhaps their favourite Mr. Solmes,
+were all careful before whom they spoke, when they had any thing to
+throw out against him, or even against me, whom they took great pride to
+join with him on this occasion.
+
+It was but too natural, my aunt said, for my friends to suppose that
+he had his intelligence (part of it at least) from me; who, thinking
+yourself hardly treated, might complain of it, if not to him, to Miss
+Howe; which, perhaps, might be the same thing; for they knew Miss Howe
+spoke as freely of them, as they could do of Mr. Lovelace; and must have
+the particulars she spoke of from somebody who knew what was done here.
+That this determined my father to bring the whole matter to a speedy
+issue, lest fatal consequences should ensue.
+
+I perceive you are going to speak with warmth, proceeded she: [and so I
+was] for my own part I am sure, you would not write any thing, if you
+do write, to inflame so violent a spirit.--But this is not the end of my
+present visit.
+
+You cannot, my dear, but be convinced, that your father will be obeyed.
+The more you contend against his will, the more he thinks himself
+obliged to assert his authority. Your mother desires me to tell you,
+that if you will give her the least hopes of a dutiful compliance, she
+will be willing to see you in her closet just now, while your father is
+gone to take a walk in the garden.
+
+Astonishing perseverance! said I--I am tired with making declarations
+and with pleadings on this subject; and had hoped, that my resolution
+being so well known, I should not have been further urged upon it.
+
+You mistake the purport of my present visit, Miss: [looking
+gravely]--Heretofore you have been desired and prayed to obey and oblige
+your friends. Entreaty is at an end: they give it up. Now it is resolved
+upon, that your father's will is to be obeyed; as it is fit it should.
+Some things are laid at your door, as if you concurred with Lovelace's
+threatened violence to carry you off, which your mother will not
+believe. She will tell you her own good opinion of you. She will tell
+you how much she still loves you; and what she expects of you on
+the approaching occasion. But yet, that she may not be exposed to an
+opposition which would the more provoke her, she desires that you will
+first assure her that you go down with a resolution to do that with a
+grace which must be done with or without a grace. And besides, she wants
+to give you some advice how to proceed in order to reconcile yourself
+to your father, and to every body else. Will you go down, Miss Clary, or
+will you not?
+
+I said, I should think myself happy, could I be admitted to my mother's
+presence, after so long a banishment from it; but that I could not wish
+it upon those terms.
+
+And this is your answer, Niece?
+
+It must be my answer, Madam. Come what may, I never will have Mr.
+Solmes. It is cruel to press this matter so often upon me.--I never will
+have that man.
+
+Down she went with displeasure. I could not help it. I was quite tired
+with so many attempts, all to the same purpose. I am amazed that they
+are not!--So little variation! and no concession on either side!
+
+
+I will go down and deposit this; for Betty has seen I have been writing.
+The saucy creature took a napkin, and dipt it in water, and with a
+fleering air, here, Miss; holding the wet corner to me.
+
+What's that for? said I.
+
+Only, Miss, one of the fingers of your right-hand, if you please to look
+at it.
+
+It was inky.
+
+I gave her a look; but said nothing.
+
+But, lest I should have another search, I will close here.
+
+CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XLI
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE FRIDAY, ONE O'CLOCK.
+
+
+I have a letter from Mr. Lovelace, full of transports, vows, and
+promises. I will send it to you enclosed. You'll see how 'he engages
+in it for Lady Betty's protection, and for Miss Charlotte Montague's
+accompanying me. I have nothing to do, but to persevere, he says, and
+prepare to receive the personal congratulations of his whole family.'
+
+But you'll see how he presumes upon my being his, as the consequence of
+throwing myself into that lady's protection.
+
+'The chariot and six is to be ready at the place he mentions. You'll see
+as to the slur upon my reputation, about which I am so apprehensive, how
+boldly he argues.' Generously enough, indeed, were I to be his; and had
+given him to believe that I would.--But that I have not done.
+
+How one step brings on another with this encroaching sex; how soon a
+young creature, who gives a man the least encouragement, be carried
+beyond her intentions, and out of her own power! You would imagine, by
+what he writes, that I have given him reason to think that my aversion
+to Mr. Solmes is all owing to my favour for him.
+
+The dreadful thing is, that comparing what he writes from his
+intelligencer of what is designed against me (though he seems not to
+know the threatened day) with what my aunt and Betty assure me of, there
+can be no hope for me, but that I must be Solmes's wife, if I stay here.
+
+I had better have gone to my uncle Antony's at this rate. I should
+have gained time, at least, by it. This is the fruit of his fine
+contrivances!
+
+'What we are to do, and how good he is to be: how I am to direct all his
+future steps.' All this shews, as I said before, that he is sure of me.
+
+However, I have replied to the following effect: 'That although I had
+given him room to expect that I would put myself into the protection
+of one of the ladies of his family; yet as I have three days to come,
+between this and Monday, and as I still hope that my friends will
+relent, or that Mr. Solmes will give up a point they will find
+impossible to carry; I shall not look upon myself as absolutely bound
+by the appointment: and expect therefore, if I recede, that I shall not
+again be called to account for it by him. That I think it necessary
+to acquaint him, that if my throwing myself upon Lady Betty Lawrance's
+protection, as he proposed, he understands, that I mean directly to put
+myself into his power, he is very much mistaken: for that there are many
+point in which I must be satisfied; several matters to be adjusted, even
+after I have left this house, (if I do leave it,) before I can think of
+giving him any particular encouragement: that in the first place he must
+expect that I will do my utmost to procure my father's reconciliation
+and approbation of my future steps; and that I will govern myself
+entirely by his commands, in every reasonable point, as much as if I had
+not left his house: that if he imagines I shall not reserve to myself
+this liberty, but that my withdrawing is to give him any advantages
+which he would not otherwise have had; I am determined to stay where I
+am, and abide the event, in hopes that my friends will still accept
+of my reiterated promise never to marry him, or any body else, without
+their consent.
+
+This I will deposit as soon as I can. And as he thinks things are near
+their crisis, I dare say it will not be long before I have an answer to
+it.
+
+
+FRIDAY, FOUR O'CLOCK.
+
+I am really ill. I was used to make the best of any little accidents
+that befel me, for fear of making my then affectionate friends uneasy:
+but now I shall make the worst of my indisposition, in hopes to obtain a
+suspension of the threatened evil of Wednesday next. And if I do obtain
+it, will postpone my appointment with Mr. Lovelace.
+
+Betty has told them that I am very much indisposed. But I have no pity
+from any body.
+
+I believe I am become the object of every one's aversion; and that they
+would all be glad if I were dead. Indeed I believe it. 'What ails the
+perverse creature?' cries one:--'Is she love-sick?' another.
+
+I was in the ivy summer-house, and came out shivering with cold, as
+if aguishly affected. Betty observed this, and reported it.--'O no
+matter!--Let her shiver on!--Cold cannot hurt her. Obstinacy will defend
+her from harm. Perverseness is a bracer to a love-sick girl, and more
+effectual than the cold bath to make hardy, although the constitution be
+ever so tender.'
+
+This was said by a cruel brother, and heard said by the dearer friends
+of one, for whom, but a few months ago, every body was apprehensive at
+the least blast of wind to which she exposed herself!
+
+Betty, it must be owned, has an admirable memory on these occasions.
+Nothing of this nature is lost by her repetition: even the very air with
+which she repeats what she hears said, renders it unnecessary to ask,
+who spoke this or that severe thing.
+
+
+FRIDAY, SIX O'CLOCK.
+
+My aunt, who again stays all night, just left me. She came to tell me
+the result of my friends' deliberations about me. It is this:
+
+Next Wednesday morning they are all to be assembled: to wit, my father,
+mother, my uncles, herself, and my uncle Hervey; my brother and sister
+of course: my good Mrs. Norton is likewise to be admitted: and Dr. Lewen
+is to be at hand, to exhort me, it seems, if there be occasion: but my
+aunt is not certain whether he is to be among them, or to tarry till
+called in.
+
+When this awful court is assembled, the poor prisoner is to be brought
+in, supported by Mrs. Norton; who is to be first tutored to instruct me
+in the duty of a child; which it seems I have forgotten.
+
+Nor is the success at all doubted, my aunt says: since it is not
+believed that I can be hardened enough to withstand the expostulations
+of so venerable a judicature, although I have withstood those of several
+of them separately. And still the less, as she hints at extraordinary
+condescensions from my father. But what condescensions, even from my
+father, can induce me to make such a sacrifice as is expected from me?
+
+Yet my spirits will never bear up, I doubt, at such a tribunal--my
+father presiding in it.
+
+Indeed I expected that my trials would not be at an end till he had
+admitted me into his awful presence.
+
+What is hoped from me, she says, is, that I will cheerfully, on Tuesday
+night, if not before, sign the articles; and so turn the succeeding
+day's solemn convention into a day of festivity. I am to have the
+license sent me up, however, and once more the settlements, that I may
+see how much in earnest they are.
+
+She further hinted, that my father himself would bring up the
+settlements for me to sign.
+
+O my dear! what a trial will this be!--How shall I be able to refuse my
+father the writing of my name?--To my father, from whose presence I
+have been so long banished!--He commanding and entreating, perhaps, in a
+breath!--How shall I be able to refuse this to my father?
+
+They are sure, she says, something is working on Mr. Lovelace's part,
+and perhaps on mine: and my father would sooner follow to the grave,
+than see me his wife.
+
+I said, I was not well: that the very apprehensions of these trials were
+already insupportable to me; and would increase upon me, as the time
+approached; and I was afraid I should be extremely ill.
+
+They had prepared themselves for such an artifice as that, was my aunt's
+unkind word; and she could assure me, it would stand me in no stead.
+
+Artifice! repeated I: and this from my aunt Hervey?
+
+Why, my dear, said she, do you think people are fools?--Can they not see
+how dismally you endeavour to sigh yourself down within-doors?--How you
+hang down your sweet face [those were the words she was pleased to use]
+upon your bosom?--How you totter, as it were, and hold by this chair,
+and by that door post, when you know that any body sees you? [This, my
+dear Miss Howe, is an aspersion to fasten hypocrisy and contempt upon
+me: my brother's or sister's aspersion!--I am not capable of arts so
+low.] But the moment you are down with your poultry, or advancing upon
+your garden-walk, and, as you imagine, out of every body's sight, it is
+seem how nimbly you trip along; and what an alertness governs all your
+motions.
+
+I should hate myself, said I, were I capable of such poor artifices as
+these. I must be a fool to use them, as well as a mean creature; for
+have I not had experience enough, that my friends are incapable of being
+moved in much more affecting instances?--But you'll see how I shall be
+by Tuesday.
+
+
+My dear, you will not offer any violence to your health?--I hope, God
+has given you more grace than to do that.
+
+I hope he has, Madam. But there is violence enough offered, and
+threatened, to affect my health; and so it will be found, without my
+needing to have recourse to any other, or to artifice either.
+
+I'll only tell you one thing, my dear: and that is, ill or well, the
+ceremony will probably be performed before Wednesday night:--but this,
+also, I will tell you, although beyond my present commission, That Mr.
+Solmes will be under an engagement (if you should require it of him as
+a favour) after the ceremony is passed, and Lovelace's hopes thereby
+utterly extinguished, to leave you at your father's, and return to his
+own house every evening, until you are brought to a full sense of your
+duty, and consent to acknowledge your change of name.
+
+There was no opening of my lips to such a speech as this. I was dumb.
+
+And these, my dear Miss Howe, are they who, some of them at least, have
+called me a romantic girl!--This is my chimerical brother, and wise
+sister; both joining their heads together, I dare say. And yet, my aunt
+told me, that the last part was what took in my mother: who had, till
+that last expedient was found out, insisted, that her child should not
+be married, if, through grief or opposition, she should be ill, or fall
+into fits.
+
+This intended violence my aunt often excused, by the certain information
+they pretended to have, of some plots or machinations, that were
+ready to break out, from Mr. Lovelace:* the effects of which were thus
+cunningly to be frustrated.
+
+
+     * It may not be amiss to observe in this place, that Mr.
+     Lovelace artfully contrived to drive the family on, by
+     permitting his and their agent Leman to report machinations,
+     which he had neither intention nor power to execute.
+
+
+FRIDAY, NINE O'CLOCK.
+
+And now, my dear, what shall I conclude upon? You see how
+determined--But how can I expect your advice will come time enough
+to stand me in any stead? For here I have been down, and already have
+another letter from Mr. Lovelace [the man lives upon the spot, I think:]
+and I must write to him, either that I will or will not stand to my
+first resolution of escaping hence on Monday next. If I let him know
+that I will not, (appearances so strong against him and for Solmes, even
+stronger than when I made the appointment,) will it not be justly deemed
+my own fault, if I am compelled to marry their odious man? And if any
+mischief ensue from Mr. Lovelace's rage and disappointment, will it not
+lie at my door?--Yet, he offers so fair!--Yet, on the other hand, to
+incur the censure of the world, as a giddy creature--but that, as he
+hints, I have already incurred--What can I do?--Oh! that my cousin
+Morden--But what signifies wishing?
+
+I will here give you the substance of Mr. Lovelace's letter. The letter
+itself I will send, when I have answered it; but that I will defer doing
+as long as I can, in hopes of finding reason to retract an appointment
+on which so much depends. And yet it is necessary you should have all
+before you as I go along, that you may be the better able to advise me
+in this dreadful crisis.
+
+'He begs my pardon for writing with so much assurance; attributing it to
+his unbounded transport; and entirely acquiesces to me in my will. He is
+full of alternatives and proposals. He offers to attend me directly to
+Lady Betty's; or, if I had rather, to my own estate; and that my Lord
+M. shall protect me there.' [He knows not, my dear, my reasons for
+rejecting this inconsiderate advice.] 'In either case, as soon as he
+sees me safe, he will go up to London, or whither I please; and not
+come near me, but by my own permission; and till I am satisfied in every
+thing I am doubtful of, as well with regard to his reformation, as to
+settlements, &c.
+
+'To conduct me to you, my dear, is another of his proposals, not
+doubting, he says, but your mother will receive me:* or, if that be not
+agreeable to you, or to your mother, or to me, he will put me into Mr.
+Hickman's protection; whom, no doubt he says, you can influence; and
+that it may be given out, that I have gone to Bath, or Bristol, or
+abroad; wherever I please.
+
+
+     * See Note in Letter V. of this Volume.
+
+
+'Again, if it be more agreeable, he proposes to attend me privately to
+London, where he will procure handsome lodgings for me, and both his
+cousins Montague to receive me in them, and to accompany me till
+all shall be adjusted to my mind; and till a reconciliation shall
+be effected; which he assures me nothing shall be wanting in him to
+facilitate, greatly as he has been insulted by all my family.
+
+'These several measures he proposes to my choice; as it was unlikely,
+he says, that he could procure, in the time, a letter from Lady Betty,
+under her own hand, to invite me in form to her house, unless he
+had been himself to go to that lady for it; which, at this critical
+juncture, while he is attending my commands, is impossible.
+
+'He conjures me, in the most solemn manner, if I would not throw him
+into utter despair, to keep to my appointment.
+
+'However, instead of threatening my relations, or Solmes, if I recede,
+he respectfully says, that he doubts not, but that, if I do, it will be
+upon the reason, as he ought to be satisfied with; upon no slighter,
+he hopes, than their leaving me at full liberty to pursue my own
+inclinations: in which (whatever they shall be) he will entirely
+acquiesce; only endeavouring to make his future good behaviour the sole
+ground for his expectation of my favour.
+
+'In short, he solemnly vows, that his whole view, at present, is to free
+me from my imprisonment; and to restore me to my future happiness. He
+declares, that neither the hopes he has of my future favour, nor the
+consideration of his own and his family's honour, will permit him to
+propose any thing that shall be inconsistent with my own most scrupulous
+notions: and, for my mind's sake, should choose to have the proposed end
+obtained by my friends declining to compel me. But that nevertheless, as
+to the world's opinion, it is impossible to imagine that the behaviour
+of my relations to me has not already brought upon my family those
+free censures which they deserve, and caused the step which I am so
+scrupulous about taking, to be no other than the natural and expected
+consequence of their treatment of me.'
+
+Indeed, I am afraid all this is true: and it is owing to some little
+degree of politeness, that Mr. Lovelace does not say all he might on
+this subject: for I have no doubt that I am the talk, and perhaps the
+bye-word of half the county. If so, I am afraid I can now do nothing
+that will give me more disgrace than I have already so causelessly
+received by their indiscreet persecutions: and let me be whose I
+will, and do what I will, I shall never wipe off the stain which my
+confinement, and the rigorous usage I have received, have fixed upon me;
+at least in my own opinion.
+
+I wish, if ever I am to be considered as one of the eminent family this
+man is allied to, some of them do not think the worse of me for the
+disgrace I have received. In that case, perhaps, I shall be obliged to
+him, if he do not. You see how much this harsh, this cruel treatment
+from my own family has humbled me! But perhaps I was too much exalted
+before.
+
+Mr. Lovelace concludes, 'with repeatedly begging an interview with me;
+and that, this night, if possible: an hour, he says, he is the more
+encouraged to solicit for, as I had twice before made him hope for it.
+But whether he obtain it or not, he beseeches me to choose one of the
+alternatives he offers to my acceptance; and not to depart from my
+resolution of escaping on Monday, unless the reason ceases on which I
+had taken it up; and that I have a prospect of being restored to
+the favour of my friends; at least to my own liberty, and freedom of
+choice.'
+
+He renews all his vows and promises on this head in so earnest and so
+solemn a manner, that (his own interest, and his family's honour, and
+their favour for me, co-operating) I can have no room to doubt of his
+sincerity.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XLII
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE SAT. MORN., EIGHT O'CLOCK, APRIL 8.
+
+Whether you will blame me or not, I cannot tell, but I have deposited
+a letter confirming my resolution to leave this house on Monday next,
+within the hour mentioned in my former, if possible. I have not kept a
+copy of it. But this is the substance:
+
+I tell him, 'That I have no way to avoid the determined resolution of
+my friends in behalf of Mr. Solmes, but by abandoning this house by his
+assistance.'
+
+I have not pretended to make a merit with him on this score; for I
+plainly tell him, 'That could I, without an unpardonable sin, die when I
+would, I would sooner make death my choice, than take a step, which all
+the world, if not my own heart, would condemn me for taking.'
+
+I tell him, 'That I shall not try to bring any other clothes with me
+than those I shall have on; and those but my common wearing-apparel;
+lest I should be suspected. That I must expect to be denied the
+possession of my estate: but that I am determined never to consent to a
+litigation with my father, were I to be reduced to ever so low a state:
+so that the protection I am to be obliged for to any one, must be alone
+for the distress sake. That, therefore, he will have nothing to hope for
+from this step that he had not before: and that in ever light I
+reserve to myself to accept or refuse his address, as his behaviour and
+circumspection shall appear to me to deserve.'
+
+I tell him, 'That I think it best to go into a private lodging in the
+neighbourhood of Lady Betty Lawrance; and not to her ladyship's house;
+that it may not appear to the world that I have refuged myself in his
+family; and that a reconciliation with my friends may not, on that
+account, be made impracticable: that I will send for thither my faithful
+Hannah; and apprize only Miss Howe where I am: that he shall instantly
+leave me, and go to London, or to one of Lord M.'s seats; and as he had
+promised not to come near me, but by my leave; contenting himself with a
+correspondence by letter only.
+
+'That if I find myself in danger of being discovered, and carried back
+by violence, I will then throw myself directly into the protection
+either of Lady Betty or Lady Sarah: but this only in case of absolute
+necessity; for that it will be more to my reputation, for me, by the
+best means I can, (taking advantage of my privacy,) to enter by a second
+or third hand into a treaty of reconciliation with my friends.
+
+'That I must, however, plainly tell him, 'That if, in this treaty, my
+friends insist upon my resolving against marrying him, I will engage
+to comply with them; provided they will allow me to promise him, that I
+will never be the wife of any other man while he remains single, or is
+living: that this is a compliment I am willing to pay him, in return for
+the trouble and pains he has taken, and the usage he has met with on
+my account: although I intimate, that he may, in a great measure, thank
+himself (by reason of the little regard he has paid to his reputation)
+for the slights he has met with.'
+
+I tell him, 'That I may, in this privacy, write to my cousin Morden,
+and, if possible, interest him in my cause.
+
+'I take some brief notice then of his alternatives.'
+
+You must think, my dear, that this unhappy force upon me, and this
+projected flight, make it necessary for me to account to him much sooner
+than I should otherwise choose to do, for every part of my conduct.
+
+'It is not to be expected, I tell him, that your mother will embroil
+herself, or suffer you or Mr. Hickman to be embroiled, on my account:
+and as to his proposal of my going to London, I am such an absolute
+stranger to every body there, and have such a bad opinion of the place,
+that I cannot by any means think of going thither; except I should be
+induced, some time hence, by the ladies of his family to attend them.
+
+'As to the meeting he is desirous of, I think it by no means proper;
+especially as it is so likely that I may soon see him. But that if any
+thing occurs to induce me to change my mind, as to withdrawing, I will
+then take the first opportunity to see him, and give him my reasons for
+that change.
+
+This, my dear, I the less scrupled to write, as it might qualify him to
+bear such a disappointment, should I give it him; he having, besides,
+behaved so very unexceptionably when he surprised me some time ago in
+the lonely wood-house.
+
+Finally, 'I commend myself, as a person in distress, and merely as such,
+to his honour, and to the protection of the ladies of his family. I
+repeat [most cordially, I am sure!] my deep concern for being forced to
+take a step so disagreeable, and so derogatory to my honour. And having
+told him, that I will endeavour to obtain leave to dine in the Ivy
+Summer-house,* and to send Betty of some errand, when there, I leave the
+rest to him; but imagine, that about four o'clock will be a proper time
+for him to contrive some signal to let me know he is at hand, and for me
+to unbolt the garden-door.'
+
+
+     * The Ivy Summer-house (or Ivy Bower, as it was sometimes
+     called in the family) was a place, that from a girl, this
+     young lady delighted in. She used, in the summer months,
+     frequently to sit and work, and read, and write, and draw,
+     and (when permitted) to breakfast, and dine, and sometimes
+     to sup, in it; especially when Miss Howe, who had an equal
+     liking to it, was her visiter and guest.
+
+She describes it, in another letter (which appears not) as 'pointing to
+a pretty variegated landscape of wood, water, and hilly country; which
+had pleased her so much, that she had drawn it; the piece hanging up, in
+her parlous, among some of her other drawings.'
+
+
+I added, by way of postscript, 'That their suspicions seeming to
+increase, I advise him to contrive to send or some to the usual place,
+as frequently as possible, in the interval of time till Monday morning
+ten or eleven o'clock; as something may possibly happen to make me alter
+my mind.'
+
+O my dear Miss Howe!--what a sad, sad thing is the necessity, forced
+upon me, for all this preparation and contrivance!--But it is now too
+late!--But how!--Too late, did I say?--What a word is that!--What a
+dreadful thing, were I to repent, to find it to be too late to remedy
+the apprehended evil!
+
+
+SATURDAY, TEN O'CLOCK.
+
+Mr. Solmes is here. He is to dine with his new relations, as Betty tells
+me he already calls them.
+
+He would have thrown himself in my way once more: but I hurried up to my
+prison, in my return from my garden-walk, to avoid him.
+
+I had, when in the garden, the curiosity to see if my letter were gone:
+I cannot say with an intention to take it back again if it were not,
+because I see not how I could do otherwise than I have done; yet, what a
+caprice! when I found it gone, I began (as yesterday morning) to wish it
+had not: for no other reason, I believe, than because it was out of my
+power.
+
+A strange diligence in this man!--He says, he almost lives upon the
+place; and I think so too.
+
+He mentions, as you will see in his letter, four several disguises,
+which he puts on in one day. It is a wonder, nevertheless, that he has
+not been seen by some of our tenants: for it is impossible that any
+disguise can hide the gracefulness of his figure. But this is to be
+said, that the adjoining grounds being all in our own hands, and no
+common foot-paths near that part of the garden, and through the park and
+coppice, nothing can be more bye and unfrequented.
+
+Then they are less watchful, I believe, over my garden-walks, and my
+poultry-visits, depending, as my aunt hinted, upon the bad character
+they have taken so much pains to fasten upon Mr. Lovelace. This, they
+think, (and justly think,) must fill me with doubts. And then the regard
+I have hitherto had for my reputation is another of their securities.
+Were it not for these two, they would not surely have used me as they
+have done; and at the same time left me the opportunities which I have
+several times had, to get away, had I been disposed to do so:* and,
+indeed, their dependence on both these motives would have been well
+founded, had they kept but tolerable measures with me.
+
+
+     * They might, no doubt, make a dependence upon the reasons
+     she gives: but their chief reliance was upon the vigilance
+     of their Joseph Leman; little imagining what an implement he
+     was of Mr. Lovelace.
+
+
+Then, perhaps, they have no notion of the back-door; as it is seldom
+opened, and leads to a place so pathless and lonesome.* If not, there
+can be no other way to escape (if one would) unless by the plashy lane,
+so full of springs, by which your servant reaches the solitary wood
+house; to which lane one must descend from a high bank, that bounds the
+poultry yard. For, as to the front-way, you know, one must pass through
+the house to that, and in sight of the parlours, and the servants' hall;
+and then have the open courtyard to go through, and, by means of the
+iron-gate, be full in view, as one passes over the lawn, for a quarter
+of a mile together; the young plantations of elms and limes affording
+yet but little shade or covert.
+
+
+     * This, in another of her letters, (which neither is
+     inserted,) is thus described:--'A piece of ruins upon it,
+     the remains of an old chapel, now standing in the midst of
+     the coppice; here and there an over-grown oak, surrounded
+     with ivy and mistletoe, starting up, to sanctify, as it
+     were, the awful solemnness of the place: a spot, too, where
+     a man having been found hanging some years ago, it was used
+     to be thought of by us when children, and by the maid-
+     servants, with a degree of terror, (it being actually the
+     habitation of owls, ravens, and other ominous birds,) as
+     haunted by ghosts, goblins, specters: the genuine result of
+     the country loneliness and ignorance: notions which, early
+     propagated, are apt to leave impressions even upon minds
+     grown strong enough at the same time to despise the like
+     credulous follies in others.'
+
+
+The Ivy Summer-house is the most convenient for this heart-affecting
+purpose of any spot in the garden, as it is not far from the back-door,
+and yet in another alley, as you may remember. Then it is seldom
+resorted to by any body else, except in the summer-months, because it is
+cool. When they loved me, they would often, for this reason, object to
+my long continuance in it:--but now, it is no matter what becomes of me.
+Besides, cold is a bracer, as my brother said yesterday.
+
+Here I will deposit what I have written. Let me have your prayers, my
+dear; and your approbation, or your censure, of the steps I have taken:
+for yet it may not be quite too late to revoke the appointment. I am
+
+Your most affectionate and faithful CL. HARLOWE.
+
+Why will you send your servant empty-handed?
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XLIII
+
+MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE SAT. AFTERNOON.
+
+
+By your last date of ten o'clock in your letter of this day, you could
+not long have deposited it before Robin took it. He rode hard, and
+brought it to be just as I had risen from table.
+
+You may justly blame me for sending my messenger empty-handed, your
+situation considered; and yet that very situation (so critical!) is
+partly the reason for it: for indeed I knew not what to write, fit to
+send you.
+
+I have been inquiring privately, how to procure you a conveyance from
+Harlowe-place, and yet not appear in it; knowing, that to oblige in
+the fact, and to disoblige in the manner, is but obliging by halves: my
+mother being moreover very suspicious, and very uneasy; made more so by
+daily visits from your uncle Antony; who tells her, that every thing
+is now upon the point of being determined; and hopes, that her daughter
+will not so interfere, as to discourage your compliance with their
+wills. This I came at by a way that I cannot take notice of, or both
+should hear of it in a manner neither would like: and, without that, my
+mother and I have had almost hourly bickerings.
+
+I found more difficulty than I expected (as the time was confined, and
+secrecy required, and as you so earnestly forbid me to accompany you in
+your enterprise) in procuring you a vehicle. Had you not obliged me to
+keep measures with my mother, I could have managed it with ease. I could
+even have taken our own chariot, on one pretence or other, and put two
+horses extraordinary to it, if I had thought fit; and I could, when we
+had got to London, have sent it back, and nobody the wiser as to the
+lodgings we might have taken.
+
+I wish to the Lord you had permitted this. Indeed I think you are too
+punctilious a great deal for you situation. Would you expect to enjoy
+yourself with your usual placidness, and not to be ruffled, in an
+hurricane which every moment threatens to blow your house down?
+
+Had your distress sprung from yourself, that would have been another
+thing. But when all the world knows where to lay the fault, this alters
+the case.
+
+How can you say I am happy, when my mother, to her power, is as much an
+abettor of their wickedness to my dearest friend, as your aunt, or any
+body else?--and this through the instigation of that odd-headed and
+foolish uncle of yours, who [sorry creature that he is!] keeps her up
+to resolutions which are unworthy of her, for an example to me, if it
+please you. Is not this cause enough for me to ground a resentment upon,
+sufficient to justify me for accompanying you; the friendship between us
+so well known?
+
+Indeed, my dear, the importance of the case considered, I must repeat,
+that you are too nice. Don't they already think that your non-compliance
+with their odious measures is owing a good deal to my advice? Have they
+not prohibited our correspondence upon that very surmise? And have I,
+but on your account, reason to value what they think?
+
+Besides, What discredit have I to fear by such a step? What detriment?
+Would Hickman, do you believe, refuse me upon it?--If he did, should
+I be sorry for that?--Who is it, that has a soul, who would not be
+affected by such an instance of female friendship?
+
+But I should vex and disorder my mother!--Well, that is something: but
+not more than she vexes and disorders me, on her being made an implement
+by such a sorry creature, who ambles hither every day in spite to my
+dearest friend--Woe be to both, if it be for a double end!--Chide me, if
+you will: I don't care.
+
+I say, and I insist upon it, such a step would ennoble your friend: and
+if still you will permit it, I will take the office out of Lovelace's
+hands; and, to-morrow evening, or on Monday before his time of
+appointment takes place, will come in a chariot, or chaise: and then,
+my dear, if we get off as I wish, will we make terms (and what terms we
+please) with them all. My mother will be glad to receive her daughter
+again, I warrant: and Hickman will cry for joy on my return; or he shall
+for sorrow.
+
+But you are so very earnestly angry with me for proposing such a step,
+and have always so much to say for your side of any question, that I am
+afraid to urge it farther.--Only be so good (let me add) as to encourage
+me to resume it, if, upon farther consideration, and upon weighing
+matters well, (and in this light, whether best to go off with me,
+or with Lovelace,) you can get over your punctilious regard for my
+reputation. A woman going away with a woman is not so discreditable a
+thing, surely! and with no view, but to avoid the fellows!--I say, only
+to be so good, as to consider this point; and if you can get over your
+scruples on my account, do. And so I will have done with this argument
+for the present; and apply myself to some of the passages in yours.
+
+A time, I hope, will come, that I shall be able to read your affecting
+narratives without the impatient bitterness which now boils over in my
+heart, and would flow to my pen, were I to enter into the particulars of
+what you write. And indeed I am afraid of giving you my advice at all,
+or telling you what I should do in your case (supposing you will still
+refuse my offer; finding too what you have been brought or rather driven
+to without it); lest any evil should follow it: in which case, I
+should never forgive myself. And this consideration has added to my
+difficulties in writing to you now you are upon such a crisis, and yet
+refuse the only method--but I said, I would not for the present touch
+any more that string. Yet, one word more, chide me if you please: If any
+harm betide you, I shall for ever blame my mother--indeed I shall--and
+perhaps yourself, if you do not accept my offer.
+
+But one thing, in your present situation and prospects, let me advise:
+It is this, that if you do go off with Mr. Lovelace, you take the first
+opportunity to marry. Why should you not, when every body will know by
+whose assistance, and in whose company, you leave your father's house,
+go whithersoever you will?--You may indeed keep him at a distance, until
+settlements are drawn, and such like matters are adjusted to your mind:
+but even these are matters of less consideration in your particular
+case, than they would be in that of most others: and first, because, be
+his other faults what they will, nobody thinks him an ungenerous man:
+next, because the possession of your estate must be given up to you
+as soon as your cousin Morden comes; who, as your trustee, will see
+it done; and done upon proper terms: 3dly, because there is no want of
+fortune on his side: 4thly, because all his family value you, and are
+extremely desirous that you should be their relation: 5thly, because he
+makes no scruple of accepting you without conditions. You see how he has
+always defied your relations: [I, for my own part, can forgive him for
+the fault: nor know I, if it be not a noble one:] and I dare say, he
+had rather call you his, without a shilling, than be under obligation
+to those whom he has full as little reason to love, as they have to love
+him. You have heard, that his own relations cannot make his proud spirit
+submit to owe any favour to them.
+
+For all these reasons, I think, you may the less stand upon previous
+settlements. It is therefore my absolute opinion, that, if you do
+withdraw with him, (and in that case you must let him be judge when he
+can leave you with safety, you'll observe that,) you should not postpone
+the ceremony.
+
+Give this matter your most serious consideration. Punctilio is out of
+doors the moment you are out of your father's house. I know how justly
+severe you have been upon those inexcusable creatures, whose giddiness
+and even want of decency have made them, in the same hour as I may
+say, leap from a parent's window to a husband's bed--but considering
+Lovelace's character, I repeat my opinion, that your reputation in the
+eye of the world requires no delay be made in this point, when once you
+are in his power.
+
+I need not, I am sure, make a stronger plea to you.
+
+You say, in excuse for my mother, (what my fervent love for my friend
+very ill brooks,) that we ought not to blame any one for not doing what
+she has an opinion to do, or to let alone. This, in cases of friendship,
+would admit of very strict discussion. If the thing requested be of
+greater consequence, or even of equal, to the person sought to, and it
+were, as the old phrase has it, to take a thorn out of one's friend's
+foot to put in into one's own, something might be said.--Nay, it would
+be, I will venture to say, a selfish thing in us to ask a favour of
+a friend which would subject that friend to the same or equal
+inconvenience as that from which we wanted to be relieved, The requested
+would, in this case, teach his friend, by his own selfish example, with
+much better reason, to deny him, and despise a friendship so merely
+nominal. But if, by a less inconvenience to ourselves, we could relieve
+our friend from a greater, the refusal of such a favour makes the
+refuser unworthy of the name of friend: nor would I admit such a one,
+not even into the outermost fold of my heart.
+
+I am well aware that this is your opinion of friendship, as well as
+mine: for I owe the distinction to you, upon a certain occasion; and it
+saved me from a very great inconvenience, as you must needs remember.
+But you were always for making excuses for other people, in cases
+wherein you would not have allowed of one for yourself.
+
+I must own, that were these excuses for a friend's indifference, or
+denial, made by any body but you, in a case of such vast importance to
+herself, and of so comparative a small one to those for whose protection
+she would be thought to wish; I, who am for ever, as you have often
+remarked, endeavouring to trace effects to their causes, should be
+ready to suspect that there was a latent, unowned inclination, which
+balancing, or preponderating rather, made the issue of the alternative
+(however important) sit more lightly upon the excuser's mind than she
+cared to own.
+
+You will understand me, my dear. But if you do not, it may be well for
+me; for I am afraid I shall have it from you for but starting such a
+notion, or giving a hint, which perhaps, as you did once in another
+case, you will reprimandingly call, 'Not being able to forego the
+ostentation of sagacity, though at the expense of that tenderness which
+is due to friendship and charity.'
+
+What signifies owning a fault without mending it, you'll say?--Very
+true, my dear. But you know I ever was a saucy creature--ever stood in
+need of great allowances.--And I remember, likewise, that I ever had
+them from my dear Clarissa. Nor do I doubt them now: for you know how
+much I love you--if it be possible, more than myself I love you! Believe
+me, my dear: and, in consequence of that belief, you will be able to
+judge how much I am affected by your present distressful and critical
+situation; which will not suffer me to pass by without a censure even
+that philosophy of temper in your own cause, which you have not in
+another's, and which all that know you ever admired you for.
+
+From this critical and distressful situation, it shall be my hourly
+prayers that you may be delivered without blemish to that fair fame
+which has hitherto, like your heart, been unspotted.
+
+With this prayer, twenty times repeated, concludes Your ever
+affectionate, ANNA HOWE.
+
+I hurried myself in writing this; and I hurry Robin away with it, that,
+in a situation so very critical, you may have all the time possible to
+consider what I have written, upon two points so very important. I will
+repeat them in a very few words:
+
+'Whether you choose not rather to go off with one of your own sex; with
+your ANNA HOWE--than with one of the other; with Mr. LOVELACE?'
+
+And if not,
+
+'Whether you should not marry him as soon as possible?'
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XLIV
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE [THE PRECEDING LETTER NOT RECEIVED.]
+SATURDAY AFTERNOON.
+
+
+Already have I an ecstatic answer, as I may call it, to my letter.
+
+'He promises compliance with my will in every article: approves of all
+I propose; particularly of the private lodging: and thinks it a happy
+expedient to obviate the censures of the busy and the unreflecting: and
+yet he hopes, that the putting myself into the protection of either of
+his aunts, (treated as I am treated,) would be far from being looked
+upon by any body in a disreputable light. But every thing I enjoin
+or resolve upon must, he says, be right, not only with respect to my
+present but future reputation; with regard to which, he hopes so to
+behave himself, as to be allowed to be, next to myself, more properly
+solicitous than any body. He will only assure me, that his whole family
+are extremely desirous to take advantage of the persecutions I labour
+under to make their court, and endear themselves to me, by their best
+and most cheerful services: happy if they can in any measure contribute
+to my present freedom and future happiness.
+
+'He will this afternoon, he says, write to Lord M. and to Lady Betty and
+Lady Sarah, that he is now within view of being the happiest man in the
+world, if it be not his own fault; since the only woman upon earth that
+can make him so will be soon out of danger of being another man's; and
+cannot possibly prescribe any terms to him that he shall not think it
+his duty to comply with.
+
+'He flatters himself now (my last letter confirming my resolution) that
+he can be in no apprehension of my changing my mind, unless my friends
+change their manner of acting by me; which he is too sure they will
+not.* And now will all his relations, who take such a kind and generous
+share in his interests, glory and pride themselves in the prospects he
+has before him.'
+
+
+     * Well might he be so sure, when he had the art to play them
+     off, by his corrupted agent, and to make them all join to
+     promote his views unknown to themselves; as is shewn in some
+     of his preceding letters.
+
+
+Thus does he hold me to it.
+
+'As to fortune, he begs me not to be solicitous on that score: that his
+own estate is sufficient for us both; not a nominal, but a real, two
+thousand pounds per annum, equivalent to some estates reputed a third
+more: that it never was encumbered; that he is clear of the world, both
+as to book and bond debts; thanks, perhaps, to his pride, more than to
+his virtue: that Lord M. moreover resolves to settle upon him a thousand
+pounds per annum on his nuptials. And to this, he will have it, his
+lordship is instigated more by motives of justice than of generosity; as
+he must consider it was but an equivalent for an estate which he had
+got possession of, to which his (Mr. Lovelace's) mother had better
+pretensions. That his lordship also proposed to give him up either
+his seat in Hertfordshire, or that in Lancashire, at his own or at his
+wife's option, especially if I am the person. All which it will be in my
+power to see done, and proper settlements drawn, before I enter into any
+farther engagements with him; if I will have it so.'
+
+He says, 'That I need not be under any solicitude as to apparel: all
+immediate occasions of that sort will be most cheerfully supplied by the
+ladies of his family: as my others shall, with the greatest pride and
+pleasure (if I allow him that honour) by himself.
+
+'He assures me, that I shall govern him as I please, with regard to any
+thing in his power towards effecting a reconciliation with my friends:'
+a point he knows my heart is set upon.
+
+'He is afraid, that the time will hardly allow of his procuring Miss
+Charlotte Montague's attendance upon me, at St. Alban's, as he had
+proposed she should; because, he understands, she keeps her chamber with
+a violent cold and sore throat. But both she and her sister, the first
+moment she is able to go abroad, shall visit me at my private lodgings;
+and introduce me to Lady Sarah and Lady Betty, or those ladies to me, as
+I shall choose; and accompany me to town, if I please; and stay as long
+in it with me as I shall think fit to stay there.
+
+'Lord M. will also, at my own time, and in my own manner, (that is to
+say, either publicly or privately,) make me a visit. And, for his own
+part, when he has seen me in safety, either in their protection, or in
+the privacy I prefer, he will leave me, and not attempt to visit me but
+by my own permission.
+
+'He had thought once, he says, on hearing of his cousin Charlotte's
+indisposition, to have engaged his cousin Patty's attendance upon me,
+either in or about the neighbouring village, or at St. Alban's: but, he
+says, she is a low-spirited, timorous girl, and would but the more have
+perplexed us.'
+
+So, my dear, the enterprise requires courage and high spirits, you
+see!--And indeed it does!--What am I about to do!
+
+He himself, it is plain, thinks it necessary that I should be
+accompanied with one of my own sex.--He might, at least, have proposed
+the woman of one of the ladies of his family.--Lord bless me!--What am I
+about to do!--
+
+
+*****
+
+
+After all, as far as I have gone, I know not but I may still recede:
+and, if I do, a mortal quarrel I suppose will ensue.--And what if it
+does?--Could there be any way to escape this Solmes, a breach with
+Lovelace might make way for the single life to take place, which I
+so much prefer: and then I would defy the sex. For I see nothing but
+trouble and vexation that they bring upon ours: and when once entered,
+one is obliged to go on with them, treading, with tender feet, upon
+thorns, and sharper thorns, to the end of a painful journey.
+
+What to do I know not. The more I think, the more I am embarrassed!--And
+the stronger will be my doubts as the appointed time draws near.
+
+But I will go down, and take a little turn in the garden; and deposit
+this, and his letters all but the two last, which I will enclose in my
+next, if I have opportunity to write another.
+
+Mean time, my dear friend----But what can I desire you to pray
+for?--Adieu, then!--Let me only say--Adieu--!
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XLV
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE. [IN ANSWER TO LETTER XLIII.] SUNDAY
+MORNING, APRIL 9.
+
+
+Do not think, my beloved friend, although you have given me in yours
+of yesterday a severer instance of what, nevertheless, I must call your
+impartial love, than ever yet I received from you, that I would be
+displeased with you for it. That would be to put myself into the
+inconvenient situation of royalty: that is to say, out of the way of
+ever being told of my faults; of ever mending them: and in the way of
+making the sincerest and warmest friendship useless to me.
+
+And then how brightly, how nobly glows in your bosom the sacred flame
+of friendship; since it can make you ready to impute to the unhappy
+sufferer a less degree of warmth in her own cause, than you have for
+her, because of the endeavours to divest herself of self so far as to
+leave others to the option which they have a right to make!--Ought I, my
+dear, to blame, ought I not rather to admire you for this ardor?
+
+But nevertheless, lest you should think that there is any foundation for
+a surmise which (although it owe its rise to your friendship) would, if
+there were, leave me utterly inexcusable, I must, in justice to myself,
+declare, that I know not my own heart if I have any of that latent or
+unowned inclination, which you would impute to any other but me. Nor
+does the important alternative sit lightly on my mind. And yet I must
+excuse your mother, were it but on this single consideration, that
+I could not presume to reckon upon her favour, as I could upon her
+daughter's, so as to make the claim of friendship upon her, to whom, as
+the mother of my dearest friend, a veneration is owing, which can
+hardly be compatible with that sweet familiarity which is one of the
+indispensable requisites of the sacred tie by which your heart and mine
+are bound in one.
+
+What therefore I might expect from my Anna Howe, I ought not from
+her mother; for would it not be very strange, that a person of her
+experience should be reflected upon because she gave not up her own
+judgment, where the consequence of her doing so would be to embroil
+herself, as she apprehends, with a family she has lived well with,
+and in behalf of a child against her parents?--as she has moreover a
+daughter of her own:--a daughter too, give me leave to say, of whose
+vivacity and charming spirits she is more apprehensive than she need to
+be, because her truly maternal cares make her fear more from her youth,
+than she hopes for her prudence; which, nevertheless, she and all the
+world know to be beyond her years.
+
+And here let me add, that whatever you may generously, and as the result
+of an ardent affection for your unhappy friend, urge on this head, in my
+behalf, or harshly against any one who may refuse me protection in the
+extraordinary circumstances I find myself in, I have some pleasure
+in being able to curb undue expectations upon my indulgent friends,
+whatever were to befal myself from those circumstances, for I should be
+extremely mortified, were I by my selfish forwardness to give occasion
+for such a check, as to be told, that I had encouraged an unreasonable
+hope, or, according to the phrase you mention, wished to take a thorn
+out of my own foot, and to put in to that of my friend. Nor should I
+be better pleased with myself, if, having been taught by my good Mrs.
+Norton, that the best of schools is that of affliction, I should rather
+learn impatience than the contrary, by the lessons I am obliged to get
+by heart in it; and if I should judge of the merits of others, as they
+were kind to me; and that at the expense of their own convenience or
+peace of mind. For is not this to suppose myself ever in the right; and
+all who do not act as I would have them act, perpetually in the wrong?
+In short, to make my sake God's sake, in the sense of Mr. Solmes's
+pitiful plea to me?
+
+How often, my dear, have you and I endeavoured to detect and censure
+this partial spirit in others?
+
+But I know you do not always content yourself with saying what you think
+may justly be said; but, in order the shew the extent of a penetration
+which can go to the bottom of any subject, delight to say or to write
+all that can be said or written, or even thought, on the particular
+occasion; and this partly perhaps from being desirous [pardon me, my
+dear!] to be thought mistress of a sagacity that is aforehand with
+events. But who would wish to drain off or dry up a refreshing current,
+because it now-and-then puts us to some little inconvenience by its
+over-flowings? In other words, who would not allow for the liveliness of
+a spirit which for one painful sensibility gives an hundred pleasurable
+ones; and the one in consequence of the other?
+
+But now I come to the two points in your letter, which most sensibly
+concern me: Thus you put them:
+
+'Whether I choose not rather to go off [shocking words!] with one of
+my own sex; with my ANNA HOWE--than with one of the other; with Mr.
+LOVELACE?'
+
+And if not,
+
+'Whether I should not marry him as soon as possible?'
+
+You know, my dear, my reasons for rejecting your proposal, and even
+for being earnest that you should not be known to be assisting me in an
+enterprise in which a cruel necessity induced me to think of engaging;
+and for which you have not the same plea. At this rate, well might
+your mother be uneasy at our correspondence, not knowing to what
+inconveniencies it might subject her and you!--If I am hardly excusable
+to think of withdrawing from my unkind friends, what could you have to
+say for yourself, were you to abandon a mother so indulgent? Does
+she suspect that your fervent friendship may lead you to a small
+indiscretion? and does this suspicion offend you? And would you, in
+resentment, shew her and the world, that you can voluntarily rush into
+the highest error that any of our sex can be guilty of?
+
+And is it worthy of your generosity [I ask you, my dear, is it?] to
+think of taking so undutiful a step, because you believe your mother
+would be glad to receive you again?
+
+I do assure you, that were I to take this step myself, I would run all
+risks rather than you should accompany me in it. Have I, do you think, a
+desire to double and treble my own fault in the eye of the world? in the
+eye of that world which, cruelly as I am used, (not knowing all,) would
+not acquit me?
+
+But, my dearest, kindest friend, let me tell you, that we will neither
+of us take such a step. The manner of putting your questions abundantly
+convinces me, that I ought not, in your opinion, to attempt it. You no
+doubt intend that I shall so take it; and I thank you for the equally
+polite and forcible conviction.
+
+It is some satisfaction to me (taking the matter in this light) that I
+had begun to waver before I received your last. And now I tell you, that
+it has absolutely determined me not to go off; at least not to-morrow.
+
+If you, my dear, think the issue of the alternative (to use your own
+words) sits so lightly upon my mind, in short, that my inclination is
+faulty; the world would treat me much less scrupulously. When therefore
+you represent, that all punctilio must be at an end the moment I am out
+of my father's house; and hint, that I must submit it to Mr. Lovelace
+to judge when he can leave me with safety; that is to say, give him the
+option whether he will leave me, or not; who can bear these reflections,
+who can resolve to incur these inconveniencies, that has the question
+still in her own power to decide upon?
+
+While I thought only of an escape from this house as an escape from Mr.
+Solmes; that already my reputation suffered by my confinement; and that
+it would be in my own option either to marry Mr. Lovelace, or wholly to
+renounce him; bold as the step was, I thought, treated as I am treated,
+something was to be said in excuse of it--if not to the world, to
+myself: and to be self-acquitted, is a blessing to be preferred to the
+option of all the world. But, after I have censured most severely, as I
+have ever done, those giddy girls, who have in the same hour, as I may
+say, that they have fled from their chamber, presented themselves at
+the altar that is witness to their undutiful rashness; after I have
+stipulated with Mr. Lovelace for time, and for an ultimate option
+whether to accept or refuse him; and for his leaving me, as soon as I am
+in a place of safety (which, as you observe, he must be the judge of);
+and after he has signified to me his compliance with these terms; so
+that I cannot, if I would, recall them, and suddenly marry;--you see,
+my dear, that I have nothing left me but to resolve not to go away with
+him!
+
+But, how, on this revocation of my appointment, shall I be able to
+pacify him?
+
+How!--Why assert the privilege of my sex!--Surely, on this side of the
+solemnity he has no right to be displeased. Besides, did I not reserve a
+power of receding, as I saw fit? To what purpose, as I asked in the case
+between your mother and you, has any body an option, if the making use
+of it shall give the refused a right to be disgusted?
+
+Far, very far, would those, who, according to the old law, have a right
+of absolving or confirming a child's promise, be from ratifying mine,
+had it been ever so solemn a one.* But this was rather an appointment
+than a promise: and suppose it had been the latter; and that I had not
+reserved to myself a liberty of revoking it; was it to preclude better
+or maturer consideration?--If so, how unfit to be given!--how ungenerous
+to be insisted upon!--And how unfitter still to be kept!--Is there a man
+living who ought to be angry that a woman whom he hopes one day to
+call his, shall refuse to keep a rash promise, when, on the maturest
+deliberation, she is convinced that it was a rash one?
+
+
+     * See Numb. XXX. Where it is declared, whose vows shall be
+     binding, and whose not. The vows of a man, or of a widow,
+     are there pronounced to be indispensable; because they are
+     sole, and subject to no other domestic authority. But the
+     vows of a single woman, or of a wife, if the father of the
+     one, or the husband of the other, disallow of them as soon
+     as they know them, are to be of no force.
+
+     A matter highly necessary to be known; by all young ladies
+     especially, whose designing addressers too often endeavour
+     to engage them by vows; and then plead conscience and honour
+     to them to hold them down to the performance.
+
+     It cannot be amiss to recite the very words.
+
+     Ver. 3 If a woman vow a vow unto the Lord, and bind herself
+     by a bond, being in her father's house in her youth;
+
+     4. And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she
+     hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at
+     her; then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith
+     she hath bound her soul shall stand.
+
+     5. But if her father disallow her in the day that he
+     heareth; not any of her vows or of her bonds wherewith she
+     hath bound her soul shall stand: and the Lord shall forgive
+     her, because her father disallowed her.
+
+     The same in the case of a wife, as said above. See ver. 6,
+     7, 8, &c.--All is thus solemnly closed:
+
+     Ver. 16. These are the statutes which the Lord commanded
+     Moses between a man and his wife, between the father and his
+     daughter, being yet in her youth in her father's house.
+
+
+I resolve then, upon the whole, to stand this one trial of Wednesday
+next--or, perhaps, I should rather say, of Tuesday evening, if my father
+hold his purpose of endeavouring, in person, to make me read, or hear
+read, and then sign, the settlements.--That, that must be the greatest
+trial of all.
+
+If I am compelled to sign them over-night--then (the Lord bless me!)
+must all I dread follow, as of course, on Wednesday. If I can prevail
+upon them by my prayers [perhaps I shall fall into fits; for the very
+first appearance of my father, after having been so long banished his
+presence, will greatly affect me--if, I say, I can prevail upon them by
+my prayers] to lay aside their views; or to suspend the day, if but for
+one week; but if not, but for two or three days; still Wednesday will
+be a lighter day of trial. They will surely give me time to consider: to
+argue with myself. This will not be promising. As I have made no
+effort to get away, they have no reason to suspect me; so I may have an
+opportunity, in the last resort, to withdraw. Mrs. Norton is to be with
+me: she, although she should be chidden for it, will, in my extremity,
+plead for me. My aunt Hervey may, in such an extremity, join with her.
+Perhaps my mother may be brought over. I will kneel to each, one by one,
+to make a friend. Some of them have been afraid to see me, lest they
+should be moved in my favour: does not this give a reasonable hope that
+I may move them? My brother's counsel, heretofore given, to turn me out
+of doors to my evil destiny, may again be repeated, and may prevail;
+then shall I be in no worse case than now, as to the displeasure of my
+friends; and thus far better, that it will not be my fault that I seek
+another protection: which even then ought to be my cousin Morden's,
+rather than Mr. Lovelace's, or any other person's.
+
+My heart, in short, misgives me less, when I resolve this way, than when
+I think of the other: and in so strong and involuntary a bias, the heart
+is, as I may say, conscience. And well cautions the wise man: 'Let the
+counsel of thine own heart stand; for there is no man more faithful to
+thee than it: for a man's mind is sometimes wont to tell him more than
+seven watchmen, that sit above in a high tower.'*
+
+
+     * Ecclus. xxxvii. 13, 14.
+
+
+Forgive these indigested self-reasonings. I will close here: and
+instantly set about a letter of revocation to Mr. Lovelace; take it
+as he will. It will only be another trial of temper to him. To me of
+infinite importance. And has he not promised temper and acquiescence, on
+the supposition of a change in my mind?
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XLVI
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE SUNDAY MORNING, APRIL 9.
+
+
+Nobody it seems will go to church this day. No blessing to be expected
+perhaps upon views so worldly, and in some so cruel.
+
+They have a mistrust that I have some device in my head. Betty has been
+looking among my clothes. I found her, on coming up from depositing my
+letter to Lovelace (for I have written!) peering among them; for I had
+left the key in the lock. She coloured, and was confounded to be caught.
+But I only said, I should be accustomed to any sort of treatment in
+time. If she had her orders--those were enough for her.
+
+She owned, in her confusion, that a motion had been made to abridge
+me of my airings; and the report she should make, would be of no
+disadvantage to me. One of my friends, she told me, urged in my behalf,
+That there was no need of laying me under greater restraint, since Mr.
+Lovelace's threatening to rescue me by violence, were I to have been
+carried to my uncle's, was a conviction that I had no design to go to
+him voluntarily; and that if I had, I should have made preparations
+of that kind before now; and, most probably, had been detected in
+them.--Hence, it was also inferred, that there was no room to doubt,
+but I would at last comply. And, added the bold creature, if you don't
+intend to do so, your conduct, Miss, seems strange to me.--Only thus
+she reconciled it, that I had gone so far, I knew not how to come off
+genteelly: and she fancied I should, in full congregation, on Wednesday,
+give Mr. Solmes my hand. And then said the confident wench, as the
+learned Dr. Brand took his text last Sunday, There will be joy in
+heaven--
+
+This is the substance of my letter to Mr. Lovelace:
+
+'That I have reasons of the greatest consequence to myself (and which,
+when known, must satisfy him) to suspend, for the present, my intention
+of leaving my father's house: that I have hopes that matters may be
+brought to an happy conclusion, without taking a step, which nothing
+but the last necessity could justify: and that he may depend upon my
+promise, that I will die rather than consent to marry Mr. Solmes.'
+
+And so, I am preparing myself to stand the shock of his exclamatory
+reply. But be that what it will, it cannot affect me so much, as the
+apprehensions of what may happen to me next Tuesday or Wednesday; for
+now those apprehensions engage my whole attention, and make me sick at
+the very heart.
+
+
+SUNDAY, FOUR IN THE AFTERNOON.
+
+My letter is not yet taken away--If he should not send for it, or take
+it, or come hither on my not meeting him to-morrow, in doubt of what
+may have befallen me, what shall I do! Why had I any concerns with this
+sex!--I, that was so happy till I knew this man!
+
+I dined in the ivy summer-house. My request to do so, was complied with
+at the first word. To shew I meant nothing, I went again into the house
+with Betty, as soon as I had dined. I thought it was not amiss to ask
+this liberty; the weather seemed to be set in fine. Who knows what
+Tuesday or Wednesday may produce?
+
+
+SUNDAY EVENING, SEVEN O'CLOCK.
+
+There remains my letter still!--He is busied, I suppose, in his
+preparations for to-morrow. But then he has servants. Does the man think
+he is so secure of me, that having appointed, he need not give himself
+any further concern about me till the very moment? He knows how I am
+beset. He knows not what may happen. I may be ill, or still more closely
+watched or confined than before. The correspondence might be discovered.
+It might be necessary to vary the scheme. I might be forced into
+measures, which might entirely frustrate my purpose. I might have new
+doubts. I might suggest something more convenient, for any thing he
+knew. What can the man mean, I wonder!--Yet it shall lie; for if he has
+it any time before the appointed hour, it will save me declaring to him
+personally my changed purpose, and the trouble of contending with him on
+that score. If he send for it at all, he will see by the date, that he
+might have had it in time; and if he be put to any inconvenience from
+shortness of notice, let him take it for his pains.
+
+
+SUNDAY NIGHT, NINE O'CLOCK.
+
+It is determined, it seems, to send for Mrs. Norton to be here on
+Tuesday to dinner; and she is to stay with me for a whole week.
+
+So she is first to endeavour to persuade me to comply; and, when the
+violence is done, she is to comfort me, and try to reconcile me to
+my fate. They expect fits and fetches, Betty insolently tells me, and
+expostulations, and exclamations, without number: but every body will
+be prepared for them: and when it's over, it's over; and I shall be easy
+and pacified when I find I can't help it.
+
+
+MONDAY MORN. APRIL 10, SEVEN O'CLOCK.
+
+O my dear! there yet lies the letter, just as I left it!
+
+Does he think he is so sure of me?--Perhaps he imagines that I dare not
+alter my purpose. I wish I had never known him! I begin now to see this
+rashness in the light every one else would have seen it in, had I been
+guilty of it. But what can I do, if he come to-day at the appointed
+time! If he receive not the letter, I must see him, or he will think
+something has befallen me; and certainly will come to the house. As
+certainly he will be insulted. And what, in that case, may be the
+consequence! Then I as good as promised that I would take the first
+opportunity to see him, if I change my mind, and to give him my reasons
+for it. I have no doubt but he will be out of humour upon it: but
+better, if we meet, that he should go away dissatisfied with me, than
+that I should go away dissatisfied with myself.
+
+Yet, short as the time is, he may still perhaps send, and get the
+letter. Something may have happened to prevent him, which when known
+will excuse him.
+
+After I have disappointed him more than once before, on a requested
+interview only, it is impossible he should not have a curiosity at
+least, to know if something has not happened; and whether my mind hold
+or not in this more important case. And yet, as I rashly confirmed my
+resolution by a second letter, I begin now to doubt it.
+
+
+NINE O'CLOCK.
+
+My cousin Dolly Hervey slid the enclosed letter into my hand, as I
+passed by her, coming out of the garden.
+
+
+DEAREST MADAM,
+
+I have got intelligence from one who pretends to know every thing,
+that you must be married on Wednesday morning to Mr. Solmes. Perhaps,
+however, she says this only to vex me; for it is that saucy creature
+Betty Barnes. A license is got, as she says: and so far she went as to
+tell me (bidding me say nothing, but she knew I would) that Mr. Brand is
+to marry you. For Dr. Lewen I hear, refuses, unless your consent can
+be obtained; and they have heard that he does not approve of their
+proceedings against you. Mr. Brand, I am told, is to have his fortune
+made by uncle Harlowe and among them.
+
+You will know better than I what to make of all these matters; for
+sometimes I think Betty tells me things as if I should not tell you,
+and yet expects that I will.* For there is great whispering between Miss
+Harlowe and her; and I have observed that when their whispering is over,
+Betty comes and tells me something by way of secret. She and all the
+world know how much I love you: and so I would have them. It is an
+honour to me to love a young lady who is and ever was an honour to all
+her family, let them say what they will.
+
+
+     * It is easy for such of the readers as have been attentive
+     to Mr. Lovelace's manner of working, to suppose, from this
+     hint of Miss Hervey's, that he had instructed his double-
+     faced agent to put his sweet-heart Betty upon alarming Miss
+     Hervey, in hopes she would alarm her beloved cousin, (as we
+     see she does,) in order to keep her steady to her
+     appointment with him.
+
+
+But from a more certain authority than Betty's I can assure you (but I
+must beg of you to burn this letter) that you are to be searched
+once more for letters, and for pen and ink; for they know you write.
+Something they pretend to have come at from one of Mr. Lovelace's
+servants, which they hope to make something of. I know not for certain
+what it is. He must be a very vile and wicked man who would boast of a
+lady's favour to him, and reveal secrets. But Mr. Lovelace, I dare say,
+is too much of a gentleman to be guilty of such ingratitude.
+
+Then they have a notion, from that false Betty I believe, that you
+intend to take something to make yourself sick; and so they will search
+for phials and powders and such like.
+
+If nothing shall be found that will increase their suspicions, you are
+to be used more kindly by your papa when you appear before them all,
+than he of late has used you.
+
+Yet, sick or well, alas! my dear cousin! you must be married. But your
+husband is to go home every night without you, till you are reconciled
+to him. And so illness can be no pretence to save you.
+
+They are sure you will make a good wife. So would not I, unless I liked
+my husband. And Mr. Solmes is always telling them how he will purchase
+your love by rich presents.--A syncophant man!--I wish he and Betty
+Barnes were to come together; and he would beat her every day.
+
+After what I told you, I need not advise you to secure every thing you
+would not have seen.
+
+Once more let me beg that you will burn this letter; and, pray, dearest
+Madam, do not take any thing that may prejudice your health: for that
+will not do. I am
+
+Your truly loving cousin, D.H.
+
+
+*****
+
+
+When I first read my cousin's letter, I was half inclined to resume my
+former intention; especially as my countermanding letter was not taken
+away; and as my heart ached at the thoughts of the conflict I must
+expect to have with him on my refusal. For see him for a few moments I
+doubt I must, lest he should take some rash resolutions; especially as
+he has reason to expect I will see him. But here your words, that all
+punctilio is at an end the moment I am out of my father's house,
+added to the still more cogent considerations of duty and reputation,
+determined me once more against the rash step. And it will be very hard
+(although no seasonable fainting, or wished-for fit, should stand my
+friend) if I cannot gain one month, or fortnight, or week. And I have
+still more hopes that I shall prevail for some delay, from my cousin's
+intimation that the good Dr. Lewen refuses to give his assistance to
+their projects, if they have not my consent, and thinks me cruelly used:
+since, without taking notice that I am apprized of this, I can plead
+a scruple of conscience, and insist upon having that worthy divine's
+opinion upon it: in which, enforced as I shall enforce it, my mother
+will surely second me: my aunt Hervey, and Mrs. Norton, will support
+her: the suspension must follow: and I can but get away afterwards.
+
+But, if they will compel me: if they will give me no time: if nobody
+will be moved: if it be resolved that the ceremony should be read over
+my constrained hand--why then--Alas! What then!--I can but--But what? O
+my dear! this Solmes shall never have my vows I am resolved! and I will
+say nothing but no, as long as I shall be able to speak. And who will
+presume to look upon such an act of violence as a marriage?--It is
+impossible, surely, that a father and mother can see such a dreadful
+compulsion offered to their child--but if mine should withdraw, and
+leave the task to my brother and sister, they will have no mercy.
+
+I am grieved to be driven to have recourse to the following artifices.
+
+I have given them a clue, by the feather of a pen sticking out, where
+they will find such of my hidden stories, as I intend they shall find.
+
+Two or three little essays I have left easy to be seen, of my own
+writing.
+
+About a dozen lines also of a letter begun to you, in which I express
+my hopes, (although I say that appearances are against me,) and that
+my friends will relent. They know from your mother, by my uncle Antony,
+that, some how or other, I now and then get a letter to you. In this
+piece of a letter I declare renewedly my firm resolution to give up the
+man so obnoxious to my family, on their releasing me from the address of
+the other.
+
+Near the essays, I have left the copy of my letter to Lady Drayton;*
+which affording arguments suitable to my case, may chance (thus
+accidentally to be fallen upon) to incline them to favour me.
+
+
+     * See Letters XIII. and XIV.
+
+
+I have reserves of pens and ink, you may believe; and one or two in the
+ivy summer-house; with which I shall amuse myself, in order to lighten,
+if possible, those apprehensions which more and more affect me, as
+Wednesday, the day of trial, approaches.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XLVII
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE IVY SUMMER-HOUSE, ELEVEN O'CLOCK.
+
+He has not yet got my letter: and while I was contriving here how to
+send my officious gaoleress from me, that I might have time for the
+intended interview, and had hit upon an expedient, which I believe would
+have done, came my aunt, and furnished me with a much better. She saw my
+little table covered, preparative to my solitary dinner; and hoped,
+she told me, that this would be the last day that my friends would be
+deprived of my company at table.
+
+You may believe, my dear, that the thoughts of meeting Mr. Lovelace,
+for fear of being discovered, together with the contents of my cousin
+Dolly's letter, gave me great and visible emotions. She took notice of
+them--Why these sighs, why these heavings here? said she, patting my
+neck--O my dear Niece, who would have thought so much natural sweetness
+could be so very unpersuadable?
+
+I could not answer her, and she proceeded--I am come, I doubt, upon a
+very unwelcome errand. Some things have been told us yesterday, which
+came from the mouth of one of the most desperate and insolent men in the
+world, convince your father, and all of us, that you still find means
+to write out of the house. Mr. Lovelace knows every thing that is done
+here; and that as soon as done; and great mischief is apprehended from
+him, which you are as much concerned as any body to prevent. Your mother
+has also some apprehensions concerning yourself, which yet she hopes are
+groundless; but, however, cannot be easy, if she would, unless (while
+you remain here in the garden, or in this summer-house) you give her
+the opportunity once more of looking into your closet, your cabinet and
+drawers. It will be the better taken, if you give me cheerfully your
+keys. I hope, my dear, you won't dispute it. Your desire of dining in
+this place was the more readily complied with for the sake of such an
+opportunity.
+
+I thought myself very lucky to be so well prepared by my cousin Dolly's
+means for this search: but yet I artfully made some scruples, and not a
+few complaints of this treatment: after which, I not only gave her the
+keys of all, but even officiously emptied my pockets before her, and
+invited her to put her fingers in my stays, that she might be sure I had
+no papers there.
+
+This highly obliged her; and she said, she would represent my cheerful
+compliance as it deserved, let my brother and sister say what they
+would. My mother in particular, she was sure, would rejoice at the
+opportunity given her to obviate, as she doubted not would be the case,
+some suspicions that were raised against me.
+
+She then hinted, That there were methods taken to come at all Mr.
+Lovelace's secrets, and even, from his careless communicativeness, at
+some secret of mine; it being, she said, his custom, boastingly to prate
+to his very servants of his intentions, in particular cases. She added,
+that deep as he was thought to be, my brother was as deep as he, and
+fairly too hard for him at his own weapons--as one day it would be
+found.
+
+I knew not, I said, the meaning of these dark hints. I thought the
+cunning she hinted at, on both sides, called rather for contempt than
+applause. I myself might have been put upon artifices which my heart
+disdained to practise, had I given way to the resentment, which, I was
+bold to say, was much more justifiable than the actions that occasioned
+it: that it was evident to me, from what she had said, that their
+present suspicions of me were partly owing to this supposed superior
+cunning of my brother, and partly to the consciousness that the usage I
+met with might naturally produce a reason for such suspicions: that it
+was very unhappy for me to be made the butt of my brother's wit: that it
+would have been more to his praise to have aimed at shewing a kind heart
+than a cunning head: that, nevertheless, I wished he knew himself as
+well as I imagined I knew him; and he would then have less conceit of
+his abilities: which abilities would, in my opinion, be less thought of,
+if his power to do ill offices were not much greater than they.
+
+I was vexed. I could not help making this reflection. The dupe the
+other, too probably, makes of him, through his own spy, deserved it. But
+I so little approve of this low art in either, that were I but tolerably
+used, the vileness of that man, that Joseph Leman, should be inquired
+into.
+
+She was sorry, she said, to find that I thought so disparagingly of my
+brother. He was a young man both of learning and parts.
+
+Learning enough, I said, to make him vain of it among us women: but not
+of parts sufficient to make his learning valuable either to himself or
+to any body else.
+
+She wished, indeed, that he had more good nature: but she feared that
+I had too great an opinion of somebody else, to think so well of my
+brother as a sister ought: since, between the two, there was a sort of
+rivalry, as to abilities, that made them hate one another.
+
+Rivalry! Madam, said I.--If that be the case, or whether it be or not,
+I wish they both understood, better than either of them seem to do,
+what it becomes gentlemen, and men of liberal education, to be, and to
+do.--Neither of them, then, would glory in what they ought to be ashamed
+of.
+
+But waving this subject, it was not impossible, I said, that they might
+find a little of my writing, and a pen or two, and a little ink, [hated
+art!--or rather, hateful the necessity for it!] as I was not permitted
+to go up to put them out of the way: but if they did, I must be
+contented. And I assured her, that, take what time they pleased, I would
+not go in to disturb them, but would be either in or near the garden,
+in this summer-house, or in the cedar one, or about my poultry-yard, or
+near the great cascade, till I was ordered to return to my prison. With
+like cunning I said, I supposed the unkind search would not be made
+till the servants had dined; because I doubted not that the pert Betty
+Barnes, who knew all the corners of my apartment and closet, would be
+employed in it.
+
+She hoped, she said, that nothing could be found that would give a
+handle against me: for, she would assure me, the motives to the search,
+on my mother's part especially, were, that she hoped to find reason
+rather to acquit than to blame me; and that my father might be induced
+to see my to-morrow night, or Wednesday morning, with temper: with
+tenderness, I should rather say, said she; for he is resolved to do so,
+if no new offence be given.
+
+Ah! Madam, said I--
+
+Why that Ah! Madam, and shaking your head so significantly?
+
+I wish, Madam, that I may not have more reason to dread my father's
+continued displeasure, than to hope for his returning tenderness.
+
+You don't know, my dear!--Things may take a turn--things may not be so
+bad as you fear--
+
+Dearest Madam, have you any consolation to give me?--
+
+Why, my dear, it is possible, that you may be more compliable than you
+have been.
+
+Why raised you my hopes, Madam?--Don't let me think my dear aunt Hervey
+cruel to a niece who truly honours her.
+
+I may tell you more perhaps, said she (but in confidence, absolute
+confidence) if the inquiry within came out in your favour. Do you know
+of any thin above that can be found to your disadvantage?--
+
+Some papers they will find, I doubt: but I must take consequences.
+My brother and sister will be at hand with their good-natured
+constructions. I am made desperate, and care not what is found.
+
+I hope, I earnestly hope, that nothing can be found that will impeach
+your discretion; and then--but I may say too much--
+
+And away she went, having added to my perplexity.
+
+But I now can think of nothing but this interview.--Would to Heaven it
+were over!--To meet to quarrel--but, let him take what measures he will,
+I will not stay a moment with him, if he be not quite calm and resigned.
+
+Don't you see how crooked some of my lines are? Don't you see how some
+of the letters stagger more than others?--That is when this interview is
+more in my head than in my subject.
+
+But, after all, should I, ought I to meet him? How have I taken it for
+granted that I should!--I wish there were time to take your advice. Yet
+you are so loth to speak quite out--but that I owe, as you own, to the
+difficulty of my situation.
+
+I should have mentioned, that in the course of this conversation I
+besought my aunt to stand my friend, and to put in a word for me on
+my approaching trial; and to endeavour to procure me time for
+consideration, if I could obtain nothing else.
+
+She told me, that, after the ceremony was performed [odious confirmation
+of a hint in my cousin Dolly's letter!] I should have what time I
+pleased to reconcile myself to my lot before cohabitation.
+
+This put me out of all patience.
+
+She requested of me in her turn, she said, that I would resolve to meet
+them all with cheerful duty, and with a spirit of absolute acquiescence.
+It was in my power to make them all happy. And how joyful would it be
+to her, she said, to see my father, my mother, my uncles, my brother, my
+sister, all embracing me with raptures, and folding me in turns to their
+fond hearts, and congratulating each other on their restored happiness!
+Her own joy, she said, would probably make her motionless and speechless
+for a time: and for her Dolly--the poor girl, who had suffered in the
+esteem of some, for her grateful attachment to me, would have every body
+love her again.
+
+Will you doubt, my dear, that my next trial will be the most affecting
+that I have yet had?
+
+My aunt set forth all this in so strong a light, and I was so
+particularly touched on my cousin Dolly's account, that, impatient as I
+was just before, I was greatly moved: yet could only shew, by my sighs
+and my tears, how desirable such an event would be to me, could it
+be brought about upon conditions with which it was possible for me to
+comply.
+
+Here comes Betty Barnes with my dinner--
+
+
+*****
+
+
+The wench is gone. The time of meeting is at hand. O that he may not
+come!--But should I, or should I not, meet him?--How I question, without
+possibility of a timely answer!
+
+Betty, according to my leading hint to my aunt, boasted to me, that she
+was to be employed, as she called it, after she had eat her own dinner.
+
+She should be sorry, she told me, to have me found out. Yet 'twould be
+all for my good. I should have it in my power to be forgiven for all at
+once, before Wednesday night. The confident creature then, to stifle a
+laugh, put a corner of her apron in her mouth, and went to the door:
+and on her return to take away, as I angrily bid her, she begged my
+excuse--but--but--and then the saucy creature laughed again, she could
+not help it, to think how I had drawn myself in by my summer-house
+dinnering, since it had given so fine an opportunity, by way of
+surprise, to look into all my private hoards. She thought something was
+in the wind, when my brother came into my dining here so readily. Her
+young master was too hard for every body. 'Squire Lovelace himself was
+nothing at all at a quick thought to her young master.
+
+My aunt mentioned Mr. Lovelace's boasting behaviour to his servants:
+perhaps he may be so mean. But as to my brother, he always took a pride
+in making himself appear to be a man of parts and learning to our
+own servants. Pride and meanness, I have often thought, are as nearly
+allied, and as close borderers upon each other, as the poet tells us wit
+and madness are.
+
+But why do I trouble you (and myself, at such a crisis) with these
+impertinences?--Yet I would forget, if I could, the nearest evil, the
+interview; because, my apprehensions increasing as the hour is at hand,
+I should, were my intentions to be engrossed by them, be unfit to see
+him, if he does come: and then he will have too much advantage over me,
+as he will have seeming reason to reproach me with change of resolution.
+
+The upbraider, you know, my dear, is in some sense a superior; while the
+upbraided, if with reason upbraided, must make a figure as spiritless as
+conscious.
+
+I know that this wretch will, if he can, be his own judge, and mine too.
+But the latter he shall not be.
+
+I dare say, we shall be all to pieces. But I don't care for that. It
+would be hard, if I, who have held it out so sturdily to my father and
+uncles, should not--but he is at the garden-door--
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I was mistaken!--How many noises unlike, be made like to what one
+fears!--Why flutters the fool so--!
+
+
+*****
+
+
+I will hasten to deposit this. Then I will, for the last time, go to the
+usual place, in hopes to find that he has got my letter. If he has, I
+will not meet him. If he has not, I will take it back, and shew him what
+I have written. That will break the ice, as I may say, and save me much
+circumlocution and reasoning: and a steady adherence to that my written
+mind is all that will be necessary.--The interview must be as short as
+possible; for should it be discovered, it would furnish a new and strong
+pretence for the intended evil of Wednesday next.
+
+Perhaps I shall not be able to write again one while. Perhaps not till
+I am the miserable property of that Solmes!--But that shall never, never
+be, while I have my senses.
+
+If your servant find nothing from me by Wednesday morning, you may then
+conclude that I can neither write to you, nor receive your favours.
+
+In that case, pity and pray for me, my beloved friend; and continue to
+me that place in your affection, which is the pride of my life, and the
+only comfort left to
+
+Your CL. HARLOWE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XLVIII
+
+MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE ST. ALBAN'S, TUESDAY MORN. PAST ONE.
+
+
+O MY DEAREST FRIEND!
+
+After what I had resolved upon, as by my former, what shall I write?
+what can I? with what consciousness, even by letter, do I approach
+you?--You will soon hear (if already you have not heard from the mouth
+of common fame) that your Clarissa Harlowe is gone off with a man!
+
+I am busying myself to give you the particulars at large. The whole
+twenty-four hours of each day (to begin at the moment I can fix) shall
+be employed in it till it is finished: every one of the hours, I mean,
+that will be spared me by this interrupting man, to whom I have made
+myself so foolishly accountable for too many of them. Rest is departed
+from me. I have no call for that: and that has no balm for the wounds
+of my mind. So you'll have all those hours without interruption till the
+account is ended.
+
+But will you receive, shall you be permitted to receive my letters,
+after what I have done?
+
+O my dearest friend!--But I must make the best of it.
+
+I hope that will not be very bad! yet am I convinced that I did a rash
+and inexcusable thing in meeting him; and all his tenderness, all his
+vows, cannot pacify my inward reproaches on that account.
+
+The bearer comes to you, my dear, for the little parcel of linen which I
+sent you with far better and more agreeable hopes.
+
+Send not my letters. Send the linen only: except you will favour me with
+one line, to tell me you love me still; and that you will suspend your
+censures till you have the whole before you. I am the readier to send
+thus early, because if you have deposited any thing for me, you may
+cause it to be taken back, or withhold any thing you had but intended to
+send.
+
+Adieu, my dearest friend!--I beseech you to love me still--But
+alas! what will your mother say?--what will mine?--what my other
+relations?--and what my dear Mrs. Norton?--and how will my brother and
+sister triumph!
+
+I cannot at present tell you how, or where, you can direct to me. For
+very early shall I leave this place; harassed and fatigued to death.
+But, when I can do nothing else, constant use has made me able to write.
+Long, very long, has been all my amusement and pleasure: yet could not
+that have been such to me, had I not had you, my best beloved friend, to
+write to. Once more adieu. Pity and pray for
+
+Your CL. HARLOWE.
+
+END OF VOL. II
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Clarissa, Volume 2 (of 9), by Samuel Richardson
+
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