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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/1755-8.txt b/1755-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..be11985 --- /dev/null +++ b/1755-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3328 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ivanoff, by Anton Checkov + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ivanoff + A Play + +Author: Anton Checkov + +Posting Date: November 23, 2008 [EBook #1755] +Release Date: May, 1999 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IVANOFF *** + + + + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer + + + + + +IVANOFF + +A PLAY + +By Anton Checkov + + + + +CHARACTERS + +NICHOLAS IVANOFF, perpetual member of the Council of Peasant Affairs + +ANNA, his wife. Nee Sarah Abramson + +MATTHEW SHABELSKI, a count, uncle of Ivanoff + +PAUL LEBEDIEFF, President of the Board of the Zemstvo + +ZINAIDA, his wife + +SASHA, their daughter, twenty years old + +LVOFF, a young government doctor + +MARTHA BABAKINA, a young widow, owner of an estate and daughter of a +rich merchant + +KOSICH, an exciseman + +MICHAEL BORKIN, a distant relative of Ivanoff, and manager of his estate + +AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, an old woman + +GEORGE, lives with the Lebedieffs + +FIRST GUEST + +SECOND GUEST + +THIRD GUEST + +FOURTH GUEST + +PETER, a servant of Ivanoff + +GABRIEL, a servant of Lebedieff + +GUESTS OF BOTH SEXES + +The play takes place in one of the provinces of central Russia + + + + +IVANOFF + + + + +ACT I + +The garden of IVANOFF'S country place. On the left is a terrace and the +facade of the house. One window is open. Below the terrace is a broad +semicircular lawn, from which paths lead to right and left into a +garden. On the right are several garden benches and tables. A lamp is +burning on one of the tables. It is evening. As the curtain rises sounds +of the piano and violoncello are heard. + +IVANOFF is sitting at a table reading. + +BORKIN, in top-boots and carrying a gun, comes in from the rear of the +garden. He is a little tipsy. As he sees IVANOFF he comes toward him on +tiptoe, and when he comes opposite him he stops and points the gun at +his face. + +IVANOFF. [Catches sight of BORKIN. Shudders and jumps to his feet] +Misha! What are you doing? You frightened me! I can't stand your stupid +jokes when I am so nervous as this. And having frightened me, you laugh! +[He sits down.] + +BORKIN. [Laughing loudly] There, I am sorry, really. I won't do it +again. Indeed I won't. [Take off his cap] How hot it is! Just think, my +dear boy, I have covered twelve miles in the last three hours. I am worn +out. Just feel how my heart is beating. + + +IVANOFF. [Goes on reading] Oh, very well. I shall feel it later! + +BORKIN. No, feel it now. [He takes IVANOFF'S hand and presses it against +his breast] Can you feel it thumping? That means that it is weak and +that I may die suddenly at any moment. Would you be sorry if I died? + +IVANOFF. I am reading now. I shall attend to you later. + +BORKIN. No, seriously, would you be sorry if I died? Nicholas, would you +be sorry if I died? + +IVANOFF. Leave me alone! + +BORKIN. Come, tell me if you would be sorry or not. + +IVANOFF. I am sorry that you smell so of vodka, Misha, it is disgusting. + +BORKIN. Do I smell of vodka? How strange! And yet, it is not so strange +after all. I met the magistrate on the road, and I must admit that we +did drink about eight glasses together. Strictly speaking, of course, +drinking is very harmful. Listen, it is harmful, isn't it? Is it? Is it? + +IVANOFF. This is unendurable! Let me warn you, Misha, that you are going +too far. + +BORKIN. Well, well, excuse me. Sit here by yourself then, for heaven's +sake, if it amuses you. [Gets up and goes away] What extraordinary +people one meets in the world. They won't even allow themselves to be +spoken to. [He comes back] Oh, yes, I nearly forgot. Please let me have +eighty-two roubles. + +IVANOFF. Why do you want eighty-two roubles? + +BORKIN. To pay the workmen to-morrow. + +IVANOFF. I haven't the money. + +BORKIN. Many thanks. [Angrily] So you haven't the money! And yet the +workmen must be paid, mustn't they? + +IVANOFF. I don't know. Wait till my salary comes in on the first of the +month. + +BORKIN. How is it possible to discuss anything with a man like you? +Can't you understand that the workmen are coming to-morrow morning and +not on the first of the month? + +IVANOFF. How can I help it? I'll be hanged if I can do anything about it +now. And what do you mean by this irritating way you have of pestering +me whenever I am trying to read or write or---- + +BORKIN. Must the workmen be paid or not, I ask you? But, good gracious! +What is the use of talking to you! [Waves his hand] Do you think +because you own an estate you can command the whole world? With your +two thousand acres and your empty pockets you are like a man who has a +cellar full of wine and no corkscrew. I have sold the oats as they +stand in the field. Yes, sir! And to-morrow I shall sell the rye and +the carriage horses. [He stamps up and down] Do you think I am going +to stand upon ceremony with you? Certainly not! I am not that kind of a +man! + +ANNA appears at the open window. + +ANNA. Whose voice did I hear just now? Was it yours, Misha? Why are you +stamping up and down? + +BORKIN. Anybody who had anything to do with your Nicholas would stamp up +and down. + +ANNA. Listen, Misha! Please have some hay carried onto the croquet lawn. + +BORKIN. [Waves his hand] Leave me alone, please! + +ANNA. Oh, what manners! They are not becoming to you at all. If you want +to be liked by women you must never let them see you when you are angry +or obstinate. [To her husband] Nicholas, let us go and play on the lawn +in the hay! + +IVANOFF. Don't you know it is bad for you to stand at the open window, +Annie? [Calls] Shut the window, Uncle! + +[The window is shut from the inside.] + +BORKIN. Don't forget that the interest on the money you owe Lebedieff +must be paid in two days. + +IVANOFF. I haven't forgotten it. I am going over to see Lebedieff today +and shall ask him to wait. + +[He looks at his watch.] + +BORKIN. When are you going? + +IVANOFF. At once. + +BORKIN. Wait! Wait! Isn't this Sasha's birthday? So it is! The idea of +my forgetting it. What a memory I have. [Jumps about] I shall go with +you! [Sings] I shall go, I shall go! Nicholas, old man, you are the joy +of my life. If you were not always so nervous and cross and gloomy, you +and I could do great things together. I would do anything for you. Shall +I marry Martha Babakina and give you half her fortune? That is, not +half, either, but all--take it all! + +IVANOFF. Enough of this nonsense! + +BORKIN. No, seriously, shan't I marry Martha and halve the money with +you? But no, why should I propose it? How can you understand? [Angrily] +You say to me: "Stop talking nonsense!" You are a good man and a +clever one, but you haven't any red blood in your veins or any--well, +enthusiasm. Why, if you wanted to, you and I could cut a dash together +that would shame the devil himself. If you were a normal man instead of +a morbid hypochondriac we would have a million in a year. For instance, +if I had twenty-three hundred roubles now I could make twenty thousand +in two weeks. You don't believe me? You think it is all nonsense? No, +it isn't nonsense. Give me twenty-three hundred roubles and let me try. +Ofsianoff is selling a strip of land across the river for that price. +If we buy this, both banks will be ours, and we shall have the right to +build a dam across the river. Isn't that so? We can say that we intend +to build a mill, and when the people on the river below us hear that +we mean to dam the river they will, of course, object violently and we +shall say: If you don't want a dam here you will have to pay to get us +away. Do you see the result? The factory would give us five thousand +roubles, Korolkoff three thousand, the monastery five thousand more-- + +IVANOFF. All that is simply idiotic, Misha. If you don't want me to lose +my temper you must keep your schemes to yourself. + +BORKIN. [Sits down at the table] Of course! I knew how it would be! You +never will act for yourself, and you tie my hands so that I am helpless. + +Enter SHABELSKI and LVOFF. + +SHABELSKI. The only difference between lawyers and doctors is that +lawyers simply rob you, whereas doctors both rob you and kill you. I am +not referring to any one present. [Sits down on the bench] They are all +frauds and swindlers. Perhaps in Arcadia you might find an exception to +the general rule and yet--I have treated thousands of sick people myself +in my life, and I have never met a doctor who did not seem to me to be +an unmistakable scoundrel. + +BORKIN. [To IVANOFF] Yes, you tie my hands and never do anything for +yourself, and that is why you have no money. + +SHABELSKI. As I said before, I am not referring to any one here at +present; there may be exceptions though, after all--[He yawns.] + +IVANOFF. [Shuts his book] What have you to tell me, doctor? + +LVOFF. [Looks toward the window] Exactly what I said this morning: she +must go to the Crimea at once. [Walks up and down.] + +SHABELSKI. [Bursts out laughing] To the Crimea! Why don't you and I set +up as doctors, Misha? Then, if some Madame Angot or Ophelia finds the +world tiresome and begins to cough and be consumptive, all we shall +have to do will be to write out a prescription according to the laws of +medicine: that is, first, we shall order her a young doctor, and then a +journey to the Crimea. There some fascinating young Tartar---- + +IVANOFF. [Interrupting] Oh, don't be coarse! [To LVOFF] It takes money +to go to the Crimea, and even if I could afford it, you know she has +refused to go. + +LVOFF. Yes, she has. [A pause.] + +BORKIN. Look here, doctor, is Anna really so ill that she absolutely +must go to the Crimea? + +LVOFF. [Looking toward the window] Yes, she has consumption. + +BORKIN. Whew! How sad! I have seen in her face for some time that she +could not last much longer. + +LVOFF. Can't you speak quietly? She can hear everything you say. [A +pause.] + +BORKIN. [Sighing] The life of man is like a flower, blooming so gaily in +a field. Then, along comes a goat, he eats it, and the flower is gone! + +SHABELSKI. Oh, nonsense, nonsense. [Yawning] Everything is a fraud and a +swindle. [A pause.] + +BORKIN. Gentlemen, I have been trying to tell Nicholas how he can make +some money, and have submitted a brilliant plan to him, but my seed, +as usual, has fallen on barren soil. Look what a sight he is now: dull, +cross, bored, peevish---- + +SHABELSKI. [Gets up and stretches himself] You are always inventing +schemes for everybody, you clever fellow, and telling them how to live; +can't you tell me something? Give me some good advice, you ingenious +young man. Show me a good move to make. + +BORKIN. [Getting up] I am going to have a swim. Goodbye, gentlemen. [To +Shabelski] There are at least twenty good moves you could make. If I +were you I should have twenty thousand roubles in a week. + +[He goes out; SHABELSKI follows him.] + +SHABELSKI. How would you do it? Come, explain. + +BORKIN. There is nothing to explain, it is so simple. [Coming back] +Nicholas, give me a rouble. + +IVANOFF silently hands him the money + +BORKIN. Thanks. Shabelski, you still hold some trump cards. + +SHABELSKI follows him out. + +SHABELSKI. Well, what are they? + +BORKIN. If I were you I should have thirty thousand roubles and more in +a week. [They go out together.] + +IVANOFF. [After a pause] Useless people, useless talk, and the necessity +of answering stupid questions, have wearied me so, doctor, that I am +ill. I have become so irritable and bitter that I don't know myself. +My head aches for days at a time. I hear a ringing in my ears, I can't +sleep, and yet there is no escape from it all, absolutely none. + +LVOFF. Ivanoff, I have something serious to speak to you about. + +IVANOFF. What is it? + +LVOFF. It is about your wife. She refuses to go to the Crimea alone, but +she would go with you. + +IVANOFF. [Thoughtfully] It would cost a great deal for us both to go, +and besides, I could not get leave to be away for so long. I have had +one holiday already this year. + +LVOFF. Very well, let us admit that. Now to proceed. The best cure for +consumption is absolute peace of mind, and your wife has none whatever. +She is forever excited by your behaviour to her. Forgive me, I am +excited and am going to speak frankly. Your treatment of her is killing +her. [A pause] Ivanoff, let me believe better things of you. + +IVANOFF. What you say is true, true. I must be terribly guilty, but my +mind is confused. My will seems to be paralysed by a kind of stupor; I +can't understand myself or any one else. [Looks toward the window] Come, +let us take a walk, we might be overheard here. [They get up] My dear +friend, you should hear the whole story from the beginning if it were +not so long and complicated that to tell it would take all night. [They +walk up and down] Anna is a splendid, an exceptional woman. She has left +her faith, her parents and her fortune for my sake. If I should demand +a hundred other sacrifices, she would consent to every one without the +quiver of an eyelid. Well, I am not a remarkable man in any way, and +have sacrificed nothing. However, the story is a long one. In short, the +whole point is, my dear doctor--[Confused] that I married her for love +and promised to love her forever, and now after five years she loves me +still and I--[He waves his hand] Now, when you tell me she is dying, I +feel neither love nor pity, only a sort of loneliness and weariness. To +all appearances this must seem horrible, and I cannot understand myself +what is happening to me. [They go out.] + +SHABELSKI comes in. + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing] Upon my word, that man is no scoundrel, but a +great thinker, a master-mind. He deserves a memorial. He is the essence +of modern ingenuity, and combines in himself alone the genius of the +lawyer, the doctor, and the financier. [He sits down on the lowest step +of the terrace] And yet he has never finished a course of studies in any +college; that is so surprising. What an ideal scoundrel he would have +made if he had acquired a little culture and mastered the sciences! "You +could make twenty thousand roubles in a week," he said. "You still hold +the ace of trumps: it is your title." [Laughing] He said I might get +a rich girl to marry me for it! [ANNA opens the window and looks down] +"Let me make a match between you and Martha," says he. Who is this +Martha? It must be that Balabalkina--Babakalkina woman, the one that +looks like a laundress. + +ANNA. Is that you, Count? + +SHABELSKI. What do you want? + +ANNA laughs. + +SHABELSKI. [With a Jewish accent] Vy do you laugh? + +ANNA. I was thinking of something you said at dinner, do you remember? +How was it--a forgiven thief, a doctored horse. + +SHABELSKI. A forgiven thief, a doctored horse, and a Christianised Jew +are all worth the same price. + +ANNA. [Laughing] You can't even repeat the simplest saying without +ill-nature. You are a most malicious old man. [Seriously] Seriously, +Count you are extremely disagreeable, and very tiresome and painful to +live with. You are always grumbling and growling, and everybody to you +is a blackguard and a scoundrel. Tell me honestly, Count, have you ever +spoken well of any one? + +SHABELSKI. Is this an inquisition? + +ANNA. We have lived under this same roof now for five years, and I +have never heard you speak kindly of people, or without bitterness and +derision. What harm has the world done to you? Is it possible that you +consider yourself better than any one else? + +SHABELSKI. Not at all. I think we are all of us scoundrels and +hypocrites. I myself am a degraded old man, and as useless as a cast-off +shoe. I abuse myself as much as any one else. I was rich once, and free, +and happy at times, but now I am a dependent, an object of charity, a +joke to the world. When I am at last exasperated and defy them, they +answer me with a laugh. When I laugh, they shake their heads sadly and +say, "The old man has gone mad." But oftenest of all I am unheard and +unnoticed by every one. + +ANNA. [Quietly] Screaming again. + +SHABELSKI. Who is screaming? + +ANNA. The owl. It screams every evening. + +SHABELSKI. Let it scream. Things are as bad as they can be already. +[Stretches himself] Alas, my dear Sarah! If I could only win a thousand +or two roubles, I should soon show you what I could do. I wish you +could see me! I should get away out of this hole, and leave the bread of +charity, and should not show my nose here again until the last judgment +day. + +ANNA. What would you do if you were to win so much money? + +SHABELSKI. [Thoughtfully] First I would go to Moscow to hear the Gipsies +play, and then--then I should fly to Paris and take an apartment and go +to the Russian Church. + +ANNA. And what else? + +SHABELSKI. I would go and sit on my wife's grave for days and days and +think. I would sit there until I died. My wife is buried in Paris. [A +pause.] + +ANNA. How terribly dull this is! Shall we play a duet? + +SHABELSKI. As you like. Go and get the music ready. [ANNA goes out.] + +IVANOFF and LVOFF appear in one of the paths. + +IVANOFF. My dear friend, you left college last year, and you are still +young and brave. Being thirty-five years old I have the right to advise +you. Don't marry a Jewess or a bluestocking or a woman who is queer in +any way. Choose some nice, common-place girl without any strange and +startling points in her character. Plan your life for quiet; the greyer +and more monotonous you can make the background, the better. My dear +boy, do not try to fight alone against thousands; do not tilt with +windmills; do not dash yourself against the rocks. And, above all, +may you be spared the so-called rational life, all wild theories and +impassioned talk. Everything is in the hands of God, so shut yourself +up in your shell and do your best. That is the pleasant, honest, healthy +way to live. But the life I have chosen has been so tiring, oh, so +tiring! So full of mistakes, of injustice and stupidity! [Catches sight +of SHABELSKI, and speaks angrily] There you are again, Uncle, always +under foot, never letting one have a moment's quiet talk! + +SHABELSKI. [In a tearful voice] Is there no refuge anywhere for a poor +old devil like me? [He jumps up and runs into the house.] + +IVANOFF. Now I have offended him! Yes, my nerves have certainly gone to +pieces. I must do something about it, I must---- + +LVOFF. [Excitedly] Ivanoff, I have heard all you have to say and--and--I +am going to speak frankly. You have shown me in your voice and manner, +as well as in your words, the most heartless egotism and pitiless +cruelty. Your nearest friend is dying simply because she is near you, +her days are numbered, and you can feel such indifference that you go +about giving advice and analysing your feelings. I cannot say all I +should like to; I have not the gift of words, but--but I can at least +say that you are deeply antipathetic to me. + +IVANOFF. I suppose I am. As an onlooker, of course you see me more +clearly than I see myself, and your judgment of me is probably right. +No doubt I am terribly guilty. [Listens] I think I hear the carriage +coming. I must get ready to go. [He goes toward the house and then +stops] You dislike me, doctor, and you don't conceal it. Your sincerity +does you credit. [He goes into the house.] + +LVOFF. [Alone] What a confoundedly disagreeable character! I have let +another opportunity slip without speaking to him as I meant to, but I +simply cannot talk calmly to that man. The moment I open my mouth to +speak I feel such a commotion and suffocation here [He puts his hand on +his breast] that my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. Oh, I loathe +that Tartuffe, that unmitigated rascal, with all my heart! There he is, +preparing to go driving in spite of the entreaties of his unfortunate +wife, who adores him and whose only happiness is his presence. She +implores him to spend at least one evening with her, and he cannot even +do that. Why, he might shoot himself in despair if he had to stay at +home! Poor fellow, what he wants are new fields for his villainous +schemes. Oh, I know why you go to Lebedieff's every evening, Ivanoff! I +know. + +Enter IVANOFF, in hat and coat, ANNA and SHABELSKI + +SHABELSKI. Look here, Nicholas, this is simply barbarous You go away +every evening and leave us here alone, and we get so bored that we have +to go to bed at eight o'clock. It is a scandal, and no decent way of +living. Why can you go driving if we can't? Why? + +ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Let him go if he wants to. + +IVANOFF. How can a sick woman like you go anywhere? You know you have a +cough and must not go out after sunset. Ask the doctor here. You are no +child, Annie, you must be reasonable. And as for you, what would you do +with yourself over there? + +SHABELSKI. I am ready to go anywhere: into the jaws of a crocodile, or +even into the jaws of hell, so long as I don't have to stay here. I am +horribly bored. I am stupefied by this dullness. Every one here is tired +of me. You leave me at home to entertain Anna, but I feel more like +scratching and biting her. + +ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Leave him alone. Let him go if he enjoys +himself there. + +IVANOFF. What does this mean, Annie? You know I am not going for +pleasure. I must see Lebedieff about the money I owe him. + +ANNA. I don't see why you need justify yourself to me. Go ahead! Who is +keeping you? + +IVANOFF. Heavens! Don't let us bite one another's heads off. Is that +really unavoidable? + +SHABELSKI. [Tearfully] Nicholas, my dear boy, do please take me with +you. I might possibly be amused a little by the sight of all the fools +and scoundrels I should see there. You know I haven't been off this +place since Easter. + +IVANOFF. [Exasperated] Oh, very well! Come along then! How tiresome you +all are! + +SHABELSKI. I may go? Oh, thank you! [Takes him gaily by the arm and +leads him aside] May I wear your straw hat? + +IVANOFF. You may, only hurry, please. + +SHABELSKI runs into the house. + +IVANOFF. How tired I am of you all! But no, what am I saying? Annie, my +manner to you is insufferable, and it never used to be. Well, good-bye, +Annie. I shall be back by one. + +ANNA. Nicholas! My dear husband, stay at home to-night! + +IVANOFF. [Excitedly] Darling, sweetheart, my dear, unhappy one, I +implore you to let me leave home in the evenings. I know it is cruel and +unjust to ask this, but let me do you this injustice. It is such torture +for me to stay. As soon as the sun goes down my soul is overwhelmed by +the most horrible despair. Don't ask me why; I don't know; I swear I +don't. This dreadful melancholy torments me here, it drives me to the +Lebedieff's and there it grows worse than ever. I rush home; it still +pursues me; and so I am tortured all through the night. It is breaking +my heart. + +ANNA. Nicholas, won't you stay? We will talk together as we used to. +We will have supper together and read afterward. The old grumbler and I +have learned so many duets to play to you. [She kisses him. Then, after +a pause] I can't understand you any more. This has been going on for a +year now. What has changed you so? + +IVANOFF. I don't know. + +ANNA. And why don't you want me to go driving with you in the evening? + +IVANOFF. As you insist on knowing, I shall have to tell you. It is a +little cruel, but you had best understand. When this melancholy fit is +on me I begin to dislike you, Annie, and at such times I must escape +from you. In short, I simply have to leave this house. + +ANNA. Oh, you are sad, are you? I can understand that! Nicholas, let +me tell you something: won't you try to sing and laugh and scold as you +used to? Stay here, and we will drink some liqueur together, and laugh, +and chase away this sadness of yours in no time. Shall I sing to you? Or +shall we sit in your study in the twilight as we used to, while you tell +me about your sadness? I can read such suffering in your eyes! Let +me look into them and weep, and our hearts will both be lighter. [She +laughs and cries at once] Or is it really true that the flowers return +with every spring, but lost happiness never returns? Oh, is it? Well, go +then, go! + +IVANOFF. Pray for me, Annie! [He goes; then stops and thinks for a +moment] No, I can't do it. [IVANOFF goes out.] + +ANNA. Yes, go, go--[Sits down at the table.] + +LVOFF. [Walking up and down] Make this a rule, Madam: as soon as the sun +goes down you must go indoors and not come out again until morning. The +damp evening air is bad for you. + +ANNA. Yes, sir! + +LVOFF. What do you mean by "Yes, sir"? I am speaking seriously. + +ANNA. But I don't want to be serious. [She coughs.] + +LVOFF. There now, you see, you are coughing already. + +SHABELSKI comes out of the house in his hat and coat. + +SHABELSKI. Where is Nicholas? Is the carriage here yet? [Goes quickly +to ANNA and kisses her hand] Good-night, my darling! [Makes a face and +speaks with a Jewish accent] I beg your bardon! [He goes quickly out.] + +LVOFF. Idiot! + +A pause; the sounds of a concertina are heard in the distance. + +ANNA. Oh, how lonely it is! The coachman and the cook are having a +little ball in there by themselves, and I--I am, as it were, abandoned. +Why are you walking about, Doctor? Come and sit down here. + +LVOFF. I can't sit down. + +[A pause.] + +ANNA. They are playing "The Sparrow" in the kitchen. [She sings] + + "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you? + On the mountain drinking dew." + +[A pause] Are your father and mother living, Doctor? + +LVOFF. My mother is living; my father is dead. + +ANNA. Do you miss your mother very much? + +LVOFF. I am too busy to miss any one. + +ANNA. [Laughing] The flowers return with every spring, but lost +happiness never returns. I wonder who taught me that? I think it was +Nicholas himself. [Listens] The owl is hooting again. + +LVOFF. Well, let it hoot. + +ANNA. I have begun to think, Doctor, that fate has cheated me. Other +people who, perhaps, are no better than I am are happy and have not had +to pay for their happiness. But I have paid for it all, every moment of +it, and such a price! Why should I have to pay so terribly? Dear friend, +you are all too considerate and gentle with me to tell me the truth; but +do you think I don't know what is the matter with me? I know perfectly +well. However, this isn't a pleasant subject--[With a Jewish accent] "I +beg your bardon!" Can you tell funny stories? + +LVOFF. No, I can't. + +ANNA. Nicholas can. I am beginning to be surprised, too, at the +injustice of people. Why do they return hatred for love, and answer +truth with lies? Can you tell me how much longer I shall be hated by my +mother and father? They live fifty miles away, and yet I can feel their +hatred day and night, even in my sleep. And how do you account for the +sadness of Nicholas? He says that he only dislikes me in the evening, +when the fit is on him. I understand that, and can tolerate it, but +what if he should come to dislike me altogether? Of course that is +impossible, and yet--no, no, I mustn't even imagine such a thing. +[Sings] + + "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you?" + +[She shudders] What fearful thoughts I have! You are not married, +Doctor; there are many things that you cannot understand. + +LVOFF. You say you are surprised, but--but it is you who surprise me. +Tell me, explain to me how you, an honest and intelligent woman, almost +a saint, could allow yourself to be so basely deceived and dragged into +this den of bears? Why are you here? What have you in common with such a +cold and heartless--but enough of your husband! What have you in common +with these wicked and vulgar surroundings? With that eternal grumbler, +the crazy and decrepit Count? With that swindler, that prince of +rascals, Misha, with his fool's face? Tell me, I say, how did you get +here? + +ANNA. [laughing] That is what he used to say, long ago, oh, exactly! +Only his eyes are larger than yours, and when he was excited they used +to shine like coals--go on, go on! + +LVOFF. [Gets up and waves his hand] There is nothing more to say. Go +into the house. + +ANNA. You say that Nicholas is not what he should be, that his faults +are so and so. How can you possibly understand him? How can you learn +to know any one in six months? He is a wonderful man, Doctor, and I am +sorry you could not have known him as he was two or three years ago. He +is depressed and silent now, and broods all day without doing anything, +but he was splendid then. I fell in love with him at first sight. +[Laughing] I gave one look and was caught like a mouse in a trap! So +when he asked me to go with him I cut every tie that bound me to my +old life as one snips the withered leaves from a plant. But things are +different now. Now he goes to the Lebedieff's to amuse himself with +other women, and I sit here in the garden and listen to the owls. [The +WATCHMAN'S rattle is heard] Tell me, Doctor, have you any brothers and +sisters? + +LVOFF. No. + +ANNA sobs. + +LVOFF. What is it? What is the matter? + +ANNA. I can't stand it, Doctor, I must go. + +LVOFF. Where? + +ANNA. To him. I am going. Have the horses harnessed. [She runs into the +house.] + +LVOFF. No, I certainly cannot go on treating any one under these +conditions. I not only have to do it for nothing, but I am forced to +endure this agony of mind besides. No, no, I can't stand it. I have had +enough of it. [He goes into the house.] + +The curtain falls. + + + + +ACT II + +The drawing-room of LEBEDIEFFÕS house. In the centre is a door leading +into a garden. Doors open out of the room to the right and left. The +room is furnished with valuable old furniture, which is carefully +protected by linen covers. The walls are hung with pictures. The room is +lighted by candelabra. ZINAIDA is sitting on a sofa; the elderly guests +are sitting in arm-chairs on either hand. The young guests are sitting +about the room on small chairs. KOSICH, AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, GEORGE, and +others are playing cards in the background. GABRIEL is standing near +the door on the right. The maid is passing sweetmeats about on a tray. +During the entire act guests come and go from the garden, through the +room, out of the door on the left, and back again. Enter MARTHA through +the door on the right. She goes toward ZINAIDA. + +ZINAIDA. [Gaily] My dearest Martha! + +MARTHA. How do you do, Zinaida? Let me congratulate you on your +daughter's birthday. + +ZINAIDA. Thank you, my dear; I am delighted to see you. How are you? + +MARTHA. Very well indeed, thank you. [She sits down on the sofa] Good +evening, young people! + +The younger guests get up and bow. + +FIRST GUEST. [Laughing] Young people indeed! Do you call yourself an old +person? + +MARTHA. [Sighing] How can I make any pretense to youth now? + +FIRST GUEST. What nonsense! The fact that you are a widow means nothing. +You could beat any pretty girl you chose at a canter. + +GABRIEL brings MARTHA some tea. + +ZINAIDA. Why do you bring the tea in like that? Go and fetch some jam to +eat with it! + +MARTHA. No thank you; none for me, don't trouble yourself. [A pause.] + +FIRST GUEST. [To MARTHA] Did you come through Mushkine on your way here? + +MARTHA. No, I came by way of Spassk. The road is better that way. + +FIRST GUEST. Yes, so it is. + +KOSICH. Two in spades. + +GEORGE. Pass. + +AVDOTIA. Pass. + +SECOND GUEST. Pass. + +MARTHA. The price of lottery tickets has gone up again, my dear. I have +never known such a state of affairs. The first issue is already worth +two hundred and seventy and the second nearly two hundred and fifty. +This has never happened before. + +ZINAIDA. How fortunate for those who have a great many tickets! + +MARTHA. Don't say that, dear; even when the price of tickets is high it +does not pay to put one's capital into them. + +ZINAIDA. Quite true, and yet, my dear, one never can tell what may +happen. Providence is sometimes kind. + +THIRD GUEST. My impression is, ladies, that at present capital +is exceedingly unproductive. Shares pay very small dividends, and +speculating is exceedingly dangerous. As I understand it, the capitalist +now finds himself in a more critical position than the man who---- + +MARTHA. Quite right. + +FIRST GUEST yawns. + +MARTHA. How dare you yawn in the presence of ladies? + +FIRST GUEST. I beg your pardon! It was quite an accident. + +ZINAIDA gets up and goes out through the door on the right. + +GEORGE. Two in hearts. + +SECOND GUEST. Pass. + +KOSICH. Pass. + +MARTHA. [Aside] Heavens! This is deadly! I shall die of ennui. + +Enter ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF through the door on the right. + +ZINAIDA. Why do you go off by yourself like a prima donna? Come and sit +with our guests! + +[She sits down in her former place.] + +LEBEDIEFF. [Yawning] Oh, dear, our sins are heavy! [He catches sight of +MARTHA] Why, there is my little sugar-plum! How is your most esteemed +highness? + +MARTHA. Very well, thank you. + +LEBEDIEFF. Splendid, splendid! [He sits down in an armchair] Quite +right--Oh, Gabriel! + +GABRIEL brings him a glass of vodka and a tumbler of water. He empties +the glass of vodka and sips the water. + +FIRST GUEST. Good health to you! + +LEBEDIEFF. Good health is too much to ask. I am content to keep death +from the door. [To his wife] Where is the heroine of this occasion, +Zuzu? + +KOSICH. [In a plaintive voice] Look here, why haven't we taken any +tricks yet? [He jumps up] Yes, why have we lost this game entirely, +confound it? + +AVDOTIA. [Jumps up angrily] Because, friend, you don't know how to play +it, and have no right to be sitting here at all. What right had you to +lead from another suit? Haven't you the ace left? [They both leave the +table and run forward.] + +KOSICH. [In a tearful voice] Ladies and gentlemen, let me explain! I had +the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the ace of spades and one, +just one, little heart, do you understand? Well, she, bad luck to her, +she couldn't make a little slam. I said one in no-trumps---- * + + * The game played is vint, the national card-game of Russia + and the direct ancestor of auction bridge, with which it is + almost identical. [translator's note] + +AVDOTIA. [Interrupting him] No, I said one in no-trumps; you said two in +no-trumps---- + +KOSICH. This is unbearable! Allow me--you had--I had--you had--[To +LEBEDIEFF] But you shall decide it, Paul: I had the ace, king, queen, +and eight of diamonds---- + +LEBEDIEFF. [Puts his fingers into his ears] Stop, for heaven's sake, +stop! + +AVDOTIA. [Yelling] I said no-trumps, and not he! + +KOSICH. [Furiously] I'll be damned if I ever sit down to another game of +cards with that old cat! + +He rushes into the garden. The SECOND GUEST follows him. GEORGE is left +alone at the table. + +AVDOTIA. Whew! He makes my blood boil! Old cat, indeed! You're an old +cat yourself! + +MARTHA. How angry you are, aunty! + +AVDOTIA. [Sees MARTHA and claps her hands] Are you here, my darling? +My beauty! And was I blind as a bat, and didn't see you? Darling child! +[She kisses her and sits down beside her] How happy this makes me! Let +me feast my eyes on you, my milk-white swan! Oh, oh, you have bewitched +me! + +LEBEDIEFF. Why don't you find her a husband instead of singing her +praises? + +AVDOTIA. He shall be found. I shall not go to my grave before I have +found a husband for her, and one for Sasha too. I shall not go to my +grave--[She sighs] But where to find these husbands nowadays? There +sit some possible bridegrooms now, huddled together like a lot of +half-drowned rats! + +THIRD GUEST. A most unfortunate comparison! It is my belief, ladies, +that if the young men of our day prefer to remain single, the fault lies +not with them, but with the existing, social conditions! + +LEBEDIEFF. Come, enough of that! Don't give us any mo re philosophy; I +don't like it! + +Enter SASHA. She goes up to her father. + +SASHA. How can you endure the stuffy air of this room when the weather +is so beautiful? + +ZINAIDA. My dear Sasha, don't you see that Martha is here? + +SASHA. I beg your pardon. + +[She goes up to MARTHA and shakes hands.] + +MARTHA. Yes, here I am, my dear little Sasha, and proud to congratulate +you. [They kiss each other] Many happy returns of the day, dear! + +SASHA. Thank you! [She goes and sits down by her father.] + +LEBEDIEFF. As you were saying, Avdotia Nazarovna, husbands are hard to +find. I don't want to be rude, but I must say that the young men of the +present are a dull and poky lot, poor fellows! They can't dance or talk +or drink as they should do. + +AVDOTIA. Oh, as far as drinking goes, they are all experts. Just give +them--give them---- + +LEBEDIEFF. Simply to drink is no art. A horse can drink. No, it must be +done in the right way. In my young days we used to sit and cudgel our +brains all day over our lessons, but as soon as evening came we would +fly off on some spree and keep it up till dawn. How we used to dance and +flirt, and drink, too! Or sometimes we would sit and chatter and discuss +everything under the sun until we almost wagged our tongues off. But +now--[He waves his hand] Boys are a puzzle to me. They are not willing +either to give a candle to God or a pitchfork to the devil! There is +only one young fellow in the country who is worth a penny, and he is +married. [Sighs] They say, too, that he is going crazy. + +MARTHA. Who is he? + +LEBEDIEFF. Nicholas Ivanoff. + +MARTHA. Yes, he is a fine fellow, only [Makes a face] he is very +unhappy. + +ZINAIDA. How could he be otherwise, poor boy! [She sighs] He made such +a bad mistake. When he married that Jewess of his he thought of course +that her parents would give away whole mountains of gold with her, but, +on the contrary, on the day she became a Christian they disowned her, +and Ivanoff has never seen a penny of the money. He has repented of his +folly now, but it is too late. + +SASHA. Mother, that is not true! + +MARTHA. How can you say it is not true, Sasha, when we all know it to be +a fact? Why did he have to marry a Jewess? He must have had some reason +for doing it. Are Russian girls so scarce? No, he made a mistake, poor +fellow, a sad mistake. [Excitedly] And what on earth can he do with her +now? Where could she go if he were to come home some day and say: "Your +parents have deceived me; leave my house at once!" Her parents wouldn't +take her back. She might find a place as a house-maid if she had ever +learned to work, which she hasn't. He worries and worries her now, but +the Count interferes. If it had not been for the Count, he would have +worried her to death long ago. + +AVDOTIA. They say he shuts her up in a cellar and stuffs her with +garlic, and she eats and eats until her very soul reeks of it. +[Laughter.] + +SASHA. But, father, you know that isn't true! + +LEBEDIEFF. What if it isn't, Sasha? Let them spin yarns if it amuses +them. [He calls] Gabriel! + +GABRIEL brings him another glass of vodka and a glass of water. + +ZINAIDA. His misfortunes have almost ruined him, poor man. His affairs +are in a frightful condition. If Borkin did not take such good charge +of his estate he and his Jewess would soon be starving to death. [She +sighs] And what anxiety he has caused us! Heaven only knows how we have +suffered. Do you realise, my dear, that for three years he has owed us +nine thousand roubles? + +MARTHA. [Horrified] Nine thousand! + +ZINAIDA. Yes, that is the sum that my dear Paul has undertaken to lend +him. He never knows to whom it is safe to lend money and to whom it is +not. I don't worry about the principal, but he ought to pay the interest +on his debt. + +SASHA. [Hotly] Mamma, you have already discussed this subject at least a +thousand times! + +ZINAIDA. What difference does it make to you? Why should you interfere? + +SASHA. What is this mania you all have for gossiping about a man who has +never done any of you any harm? Tell me, what harm has he done you? + +THIRD GUEST. Let me say two words, Miss Sasha. I esteem Ivanoff, and +have always found him an honourable man, but, between ourselves, I also +consider him an adventurer. + +SASHA. I congratulate you on your opinion! + +THIRD GUEST. In proof of its truth, permit me to present to you the +following facts, as they were communicated to me by his secretary, or +shall I say rather, by his factotum, Borkin. Two years ago, at the time +of the cattle plague, he bought some cattle and had them insured-- + +ZINAIDA. Yes, I remember hearing' of that. + +THIRD GUEST. He had them insured, as you understand, and then inoculated +them with the disease and claimed the insurance. + +SASHA. Oh, what nonsense, nonsense, nonsense! No one bought or +inoculated any cattle! The story was invented by Borkin, who then went +about boasting of his clever plan. Ivanoff would not forgive Borkin for +two weeks after he heard of it. He is only guilty of a weak character +and too great faith in humanity. He can't make up his mind to get rid +of that Borkin, and so all his possessions have been tricked and stolen +from him. Every one who has had anything to do with Ivanoff has taken +advantage of his generosity to grow rich. + +LEBEDIEFF. Sasha, you little firebrand, that will do! + +SASHA. Why do you all talk like this? This eternal subject of Ivanoff, +Ivanoff, and always Ivanoff has grown insufferable, and yet you never +speak of anything else. [She goes toward the door, then stops and comes +back] I am surprised, [To the young men] and utterly astonished at your +patience, young men! How can you sit there like that? Aren't you bored? +Why, the very air is as dull as ditchwater! Do, for heaven's sake say +something; try to amuse the girls a little, move about! Or if you can't +talk of anything except Ivanoff, you might laugh or sing or dance---- + +LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] That's right, Sasha! Give them a good scolding. + +SASHA. Look here, will you do me a favour? If you refuse to dance or +sing or laugh, if all that is tedious, then let me beg you, implore you, +to summon all your powers, if only for this once, and make one witty or +clever remark. Let it be as impertinent and malicious as you like, so +long as it is funny and original. Won't you perform this miracle, just +once, to surprise us and make us laugh? Or else you might think of some +little thing which you could all do together, something to make you stir +about. Let the girls admire you for once in their lives! Listen to me! +I suppose you want them to like you? Then why don't try to make them do +it? Oh, dear! There is something wrong with you all! You are a lot of +sleepy stick-in-the-muds! I have told you so a thousand times and shall +always go on repeating it; there is something wrong with every one of +you; something wrong, wrong, wrong! + +Enter IVANOFF and SHABELSKI through the door on the right. + +SHABELSKI. Who is making a speech here? Is it you, Sasha? [He laughs and +shakes hands with her] Many happy returns of the day, my dear child. May +you live as long as possible in this life, but never be born again! + +ZINAIDA. [Joyfully] My dear Count! + +LEBEDIEFF. Who can this be? Not you, Count? + +SHABELSKI. [Sees ZINAIDA and MARTHA sitting side by side] Two gold mines +side by side! What a pleasant picture it makes! [He shakes hands with +ZINAIDA] Good evening, Zuzu! [Shakes hands with MARTHA] Good evening, +Birdie! + +ZINAIDA. I am charmed to see you, Count. You are a rare visitor here +now. [Calls] Gabriel, bring some tea! Please sit down. + +She gets up and goes to the door and back, evidently much preoccupied. +SASHA sits down in her former place. IVANOFF silently shakes hands with +every one. + +LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] What miracle has brought you here? You have +given us a great surprise. Why, Count, you're a rascal, you haven't been +treating us right at all. [Leads him forward by the hand] Tell me, why +don't you ever come to see us now? Are you offended? + +SHABELSKI. How can I get here to see you? Astride a broomstick? I have +no horses of my own, and Nicholas won't take me with him when he goes +out. He says I must stay at home to amuse Sarah. Send your horses for me +and I shall come with pleasure. + +LEBE DIEFF. [With a wave of the hand] Oh, that is easy to say! But Zuzu +would rather have a fit than lend the horses to any one. My dear, +dear old friend, you are more to me than any one I know! You and I are +survivors of those good old days that are gone forever, and you alone +bring back to my mind the love and longings of my lost youth. Of course +I am only joking, and yet, do you know, I am almost in tears? + +SHABELSKI. Stop, stop! You smell like the air of a wine cellar. + +LEBEDIEFF. Dear friend, you cannot imagine how lonely I am without my +old companions! I could hang myself! [Whispers] Zuzu has frightened +all the decent men away with her stingy ways, and now we have only this +riff-raff, as you see: Tom, Dick, and Harry. However, drink your tea. + +ZINAIDA. [Anxiously, to GABRIEL] Don't bring it in like that! Go fetch +some jam to eat with it! + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Didn't I tell you so? [To +LEBEDIEFF] I bet him driving over, that as soon as we arrived Zuzu would +want to feed us with jam! + +ZINAIDA. Still joking, Count! [She sits down.] + +LEBEDIEFF. She made twenty jars of it this year, and how else do you +expect her to get rid of it? + +SHABELSKI. [Sits down near the table] Are you still adding to the hoard, +Zuzu? You will soon have a million, eh? + +ZINAIDA. [Sighing] I know it seems as if no one could be richer than we, +but where do they think the money comes from? It is all gossip. + +SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, we all know that! We know how badly you play your +cards! Tell me, Paul, honestly, have you saved up a million yet? + +LEBEDIEFF. I don't know. Ask Zuzu. + +SHABELSKI. [To MARTHA] And my plump little Birdie here will soon have a +million too! She is getting prettier and plumper not only every day, but +every hour. That means she has a nice little fortune. + +MARTHA. Thank you very much, your highness, but I don't like such jokes. + +SHABELSKI. My dear little gold mine, do you call that a joke? It was a +wail of the soul, a cry from the heart, that burst through my lips. +My love for you and Zuzu is immense. [Gaily] Oh, rapture! Oh, bliss! I +cannot look at you two without a madly beating heart! + +ZINAIDA. You are still the same, Count. [To GEORGE] Put out the candles +please, George. [GEORGE gives a start. He puts out the candles and sits +down again] How is your wife, Nicholas? + +IVANOFF. She is very ill. The doctor said to-day that she certainly had +consumption. + +ZINAIDA. Really? Oh, how sad! [She sighs] And we are all so fond of her! + +SHABELSKI. What trash you all talk! That story was invented by that sham +doctor, and is nothing but a trick of his. He wants to masquerade as an +Aesculapius, and so has started this consumption theory. Fortunately +her husband isn't jealous. [IVANOFF makes an inpatient gesture] As for +Sarah, I wouldn't trust a word or an action of hers. I have made a point +all my life of mistrusting all doctors, lawyers, and women. They are +shammers and deceivers. + +LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] You are an extraordinary person, Matthew! You +have mounted this misanthropic hobby of yours, and you ride it through +thick and thin like a lunatic You are a man like any other, and yet, +from the way you talk one would imagine that you had the pip, or a cold +in the head. + +SHABELSKI. Would you have me go about kissing every rascal and scoundrel +I meet? + +LEBEDIEFF. Where do you find all these rascals and scoundrels? + +SHABELSKI. Of course I am not talking of any one here present, +nevertheless----- + +LEBEDIEFF. There you are again with your "nevertheless." All this is +simply a fancy of yours. + +SHABELSKI. A fancy? It is lucky for you that you have no knowledge of +the world! + +LEBEDIEFF. My knowledge of the world is this: I must sit here prepared +at any moment to have death come knocking at the door. That is my +knowledge of the world. At our age, brother, you and I can't afford to +worry about knowledge of the world. So then--[He calls] Oh, Gabriel! + +SHABELSKI. You have had quite enough already. Look at your nose. + +LEBEDIEFF. No matter, old boy. I am not going to be married to-day. + +ZINAIDA. Doctor Lvoff has not been here for a long time. He seems to +have forgotten us. + +SASHA. That man is one of my aversions. I can't stand his icy sense of +honour. He can't ask for a glass of water or smoke a cigarette without +making a display of his remarkable honesty. Walking and talking, it is +written on his brow: "I am an honest man." He is a great bore. + +SHABELSKI. He is a narrow-minded, conceited medico. [Angrily] He shrieks +like a parrot at every step: "Make way for honest endeavour!" and thinks +himself another St. Francis. Everybody is a rascal who doesn't make as +much noise as he does. As for his penetration, it is simply remarkable! +If a peasant is well off and lives decently, he sees at once that he +must be a thief and a scoundrel. If I wear a velvet coat and am dressed +by my valet, I am a rascal and the valet is my slave. There is no place +in this world for a man like him. I am actually afraid of him. Yes, +indeed, he is likely, out of a sense of duty, to insult a man at any +moment and to call him a knave. + +IVANOFF. I am dreadfully tired of him, but I can't help liking him, too, +he is so sincere. + +SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, his sincerity is beautiful! He came up to me +yesterday evening and remarked absolutely apropos of nothing: "Count, I +have a deep aversion to you!" It isn't as if he said such things simply, +but they are extremely pointed. His voice trembles, his eyes flash, his +veins swell. Confound his infernal honesty! Supposing I am disgusting +and odious to him? What is more natural? I know that I am, but I don't +like to be told so to my face. I am a worthless old man, but he might +have the decency to respect my grey hairs. Oh, what stupid, heartless +honesty! + +LEBEDIEFF. Come, come, you have been young yourself, and should make +allowances for him. + +SHABELSKI. Yes, I have been young and reckless; I have played the fool +in my day and have seen plenty of knaves and scamps, but I have never +called a thief a thief to his face, or talked of ropes in the house of a +man who had been hung. I knew how to behave, but this idiotic doctor +of yours would think himself in the seventh heaven of happiness if fate +would allow him to pull my nose in public in the name of morality and +human ideals. + +LEBEDIEFF. Young men are all stubborn and restive. I had an uncle once +who thought himself a philosopher. He would fill his house with guests, +and after he had had a drink he would get up on a chair, like this, and +begin: "You ignoramuses! You powers of darkness! This is the dawn of a +new life!" And so on and so on; he would preach and preach---- + +SASHA. And the guests? + +LEBEDIEFF. They would just sit and listen and go on drinking. Once, +though, I challenged him to a duel, challenged my own uncle! It came +out of a discussion about Sir Francis Bacon. I was sitting, I remember, +where Matthew is, and my uncle and the late Gerasim Nilitch were +standing over there, about where Nicholas is now. Well, Gerasim Nilitch +propounded this question---- + +Enter BORKIN. He is dressed like a dandy and carries a parcel under his +arm. He comes in singing and skipping through the door on the right. A +murmur of approval is heard. + +THE GIRLS. Oh, Michael Borkin! + +LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Misha! + +SHABELSKI. The soul of the company! + +BORKIN. Here we are! [He runs up to SASHA] Most noble Signorina, let +me be so bold as to wish to the whole world many happy returns of the +birthday of such an exquisite flower as you! As a token of my enthusiasm +let me presume to present you with these fireworks and this Bengal fire +of my own manufacture. [He hands her the parcel] May they illuminate the +night as brightly as you illuminate the shadows of this dark world. [He +spreads them out theatrically before her.] + +SASHA. Thank you. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Why don't you send this Judas +packing? + +BORKIN. [To LEBEDIEFF] My compliments to you, sir. [To IVANOFF] How are +you, my patron? [Sings] Nicholas voila, hey ho hey! [He greets everybody +in turn] Most highly honoured Zinaida! Oh, glorious Martha! Most ancient +Avdotia! Noblest of Counts! + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing] The life of the company! The moment he comes in +the air fe els livelier. Have you noticed it? + +BORKIN. Whew! I am tired! I believe I have shaken hands with everybody. +Well, ladies and gentlemen, haven't you some little tidbit to tell +me; something spicy? [Speaking quickly to ZINAIDA] Oh, aunty! I have +something to tell you. As I was on my way here--[To GABRIEL] Some tea, +please Gabriel, but without jam--as I was on my way here I saw some +peasants down on the river-bank pulling the bark off the trees. Why +don't you lease that meadow? + +LEBEDIEFF. [To IVANOFF] Why don't you send that Judas away? + +ZINAIDA. [Startled] Why, that is quite true! I never thought of it. + +BORKIN. [Swinging his arms] I can't sit still! What tricks shall we be +up to next, aunty? I am all on edge, Martha, absolutely exalted. [He +sings] + + "Once more I stand before thee!" + +ZINAIDA. Think of something to amuse us, Misha, we are all bored. + +BORKIN. Yes, you look so. What is the matter with you all? Why are you +sitting there as solemn as a jury? Come, let us play something; what +shall it be? Forfeits? Hide-and-seek? Tag? Shall we dance, or have the +fireworks? + +THE GIRLS. [Clapping their hands] The fireworks! The fireworks! [They +run into the garden.] + +SASHA. [ To IVANOFF] What makes you so depressed today? + +IVANOFF. My head aches, little Sasha, and then I feel bored. + +SASHA. Come into the sitting-room with me. + +They go out through the door on the right. All the guests go into the +garden and ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF are left alone. + +ZINAIDA. That is what I like to see! A young man like Misha comes into +the room and in a minute he has everybody laughing. [She puts out the +large lamp] There is no reason the candles should burn for nothing so +long as they are all in the garden. [She blows out the candles.] + +LEBEDIEFF. [Following her] We really ought to give our guests something +to eat, Zuzu! + +ZINAIDA. What crowds of candles; no wonder we are thought rich. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Still following her] Do let them have something to eat, +Zuzu; they are young and must be hungry by now, poor things--Zuzu! + +ZINAIDA. The Count did not finish his tea, and all that sugar has been +wasted. [Goes out through the door on the left.] + +LEBEDIEFF. Bah! [Goes out into the garden.] + +Enter IVANOFF and SASHA through the door on the right. + +IVANOFF. This is how it is, Sasha: I used to work hard and think hard, +and never tire; now, I neither do anything nor think anything, and I +am weary, body and soul. I feel I am terribly to blame, my conscience +leaves me no peace day or night, and yet I can't see clearly exactly +what my mistakes are. And now comes my wife's illness, our poverty, this +eternal backbiting, gossiping, chattering, that foolish Borkin--My home +has become unendurable to me, and to live there is worse than torture. +Frankly, Sasha, the presence of my wife, who loves me, has become +unbearable. You are an old friend, little Sasha, you will not be angry +with me for speaking so openly. I came to you to be cheered, but I am +bored here too, something urges me home again. Forgive me, I shall slip +away at once. + +SASHA. I can understand your trouble, Nicholas. You are unhappy because +you are lonely. You need some one at your side whom you can love, +someone who understands you. + +IVANOFF. What an idea, Sasha! Fancy a crusty old badger like myself +starting a love affair! Heaven preserve me from such misfortune! No, my +little sage, this is not a case for romance. The fact is, I can endure +all I have to suffer: sadness, sickness of mind, ruin, the loss of my +wife, and my lonely, broken old age, but I cannot, I will not, endure +the contempt I have for myself! I am nearly killed by shame when I think +that a strong, healthy man like myself has become--oh, heaven only knows +what--by no means a Manfred or a Hamlet! There are some unfortunates who +feel flattered when people call them Hamlets and cynics, but to me it +is an insult. It wounds my pride and I am tortured by shame and suffer +agony. + +SASHA. [Laughing through her tears] Nicholas, let us run away to America +together! + +IVANOFF. I haven't the energy to take such a step as that, and besides, +in America you--[They go toward the door into the garden] As a matter of +fact, Sasha, this is not a good place for you to live. When I look about +at the men who surround you I am terrified for you; whom is there you +could marry? Your only chance will be if some passing lieutenant or +student steals your heart and carries you away. + +Enter ZINAIDA through the door on the right with a jar of jam. + +IVANOFF. Excuse me, Sasha, I shall join you in a minute. + +SASHA goes out into the garden. + +IVANOFF. [To ZINAIDA] Zinaida, may I ask you a favour? + +ZINAIDA. What is it? + +IVANOFF. The fact is, you know, that the interest on my note is due day +after to-morrow, but I should be more than obliged to you if you will +let me postpone the payment of it, or would let me add the interest to +the capital. I simply cannot pay it now; I haven't the money. + +ZINAIDA. Oh, Ivanoff, how could I do such a thing? Would it be +business-like? No, no, don't ask it, don't torment an unfortunate old +woman. + +IVANOFF. I beg your pardon. [He goes out into the garden.] + +ZINAIDA. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! What a fright he gave me! I am trembling +all over. [Goes out through the door on the right.] + +Enter KOSICH through the door on the left. He walks across the stage. + +KOSICH. I had the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the ace of +spades, and one, just one little heart, and she--may the foul fiend fly +away with her,--she couldn't make a little slam! + +Goes out through the door on the right. Enter from the garden AVDOTIA +and FIRST GUEST. + +AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her, the miserable +old miser! How I should like it! Does she think it a joke to leave us +sitting here since five o'clock without even offering us a crust to eat? +What a house! What management! + +FIRST GUEST. I am so bored that I feel like beating my head against the +wall. Lord, what a queer lot of people! I shall soon be howling like a +wolf and snapping at them from hunger and weariness. + +AVDOTIA. How I should like to get my claws into her, the old sinner! + +FIRST GUEST. I shall get a drink, old lady, and then home I go! I won't +have anything to do with these belles of yours. How the devil can a man +think of love who hasn't had a drop to drink since dinner? + +AVDOTIA. Come on, we will go and find something. + +FIRST GUEST. Sh! Softly! I think the brandy is in the sideboard in the +dining-room. We will find George! Sh! + +They go out through the door on the left. Enter ANNA and LVOFF through +the door on the right. + +ANNA. No, they will be glad to see us. Is no one here? Then they must be +in the garden. + +LVOFF. I should like to know why you have brought me into this den of +wolves. This is no place for you and me; honourable people should not be +subjected to such influences as these. + +ANNA. Listen to me, Mr. Honourable Man. When you are escorting a lady it +is very bad manners to talk to her the whole way about nothing but your +own honesty. Such behaviour may be perfectly honest, but it is also +tedious, to say the least. Never tell a woman how good you are; let her +find it out herself. My Nicholas used only to sing and tell stories when +he was young as you are, and yet every woman knew at once what kind of a +man he was. + +LVOFF. Don't talk to me of your Nicholas; I know all about him! + +ANNA. You are a very worthy man, but you don't know anything at +all. Come into the garden. He never said: "I am an honest man; these +surroundings are too narrow for me." He never spoke of wolves' dens, +called people bears or vultures. He left the animal kingdom alone, and +the most I have ever heard him say when he was excited was: "Oh, how +unjust I have been to-day!" or "Annie, I am sorry for that man." That's +what he would say, but you-- + +ANNA and LVOFF go out. Enter AVDOTIA and FIRST GUEST through the door on +the left. + +FIRST GUEST. There isn't any in the dining-room, so it must be +somewhere in the pantry. We must find George. Come this way, through the +sitting-room. + +AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her! + +They go out through the door on the right. MARTHA and BORKIN run in +laughing from the garden. SHABELSK I comes mincing behind them, laughing +and rubbing his hands. + +MARTHA. Oh, I am so bored! [Laughs loudly] This is deadly! Every one +looks as if he had swallowed a poker. I am frozen to the marrow by this +icy dullness. [She skips about] Let us do something! + +BORKIN catches her by the waist and kisses her cheek. + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing and snapping his fingers] Well, I'll be hanged! +[Cackling] Really, you know! + +MARTHA. Let go! Let go, you wretch! What will the Count think? Stop, I +say! + +BORKIN. Angel! Jewel! Lend me twenty-three hundred roubles. + +MARTHA. Most certainly not! Do what you please, but I'll thank you to +leave my money alone. No, no, no! Oh, let go, will you? + +SHABELSKI. [Mincing around them] The little birdie has its charms! +[Seriously] Come, that will do! + +BORKIN. Let us come to the point, and consider my proposition frankly +as a business arrangement. Answer me honestly, without tricks and +equivocations, do you agree to do it or not? Listen to me; [Pointing +to Shabelski] he needs money to the amount of at least three thousand a +year; you need a husband. Do you want to be a Countess? + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly] Oh, the cynic! + +BORKIN. Do you want to be a Countess or not? + +MARTHA. [Excitedly] Wait a minute; really, Misha, these things aren't +done in a second like this. If the Count wants to marry me, let him ask +me himself, and--and--I don't see, I don't understand--all this is so +sudden---- + +BORKIN. Come, don't let us beat about the bush; this is a business +arrangement. Do you agree or not? + +SHABELSKI. [Chuckling and rubbing his hands] Supposing I do marry her, +eh? Hang it, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? What do you +say, little puss? [He kisses her cheek] Dearest chick-a-biddy! + +MARTHA. Stop! Stop! I hardly know what I am doing. Go away! No--don't +go! + +BORKIN. Answer at once: is it yes or no? We can't stand here forever. + +MARTHA. Look here, Count, come and visit me for three or four days. It +is gay at my house, not like this place. Come to-morrow. [To BORKIN] Or +is this all a joke? + +BORKIN. [Angrily] How could I joke on such a serious subject? + +MARTHA. Wait! Stop! Oh, I feel faint! A Countess! I am fainting, I am +falling! + +BORKIN and SHABELSKI laugh and catch her by the arms. They kiss her +cheeks and lead her out through the door on the right. IVANOFF and SASHA +run in from the garden. + +IVANOFF. [Desperately clutching his head] It can't be true! Don't Sasha, +don't! Oh, I implore you not to! + +SASHA. I love you madly. Without you my life can have no meaning, no +happiness, no hope. + +IVANOFF. Why, why do you say that? What do you mean? Little Sasha, don't +say it! + +SASHA. You were the only joy of my childhood; I loved you body and soul +then, as myself, but now--Oh, I love you, Nicholas! Take me with you to +the ends of the earth, wherever you wish; but for heaven's sake let us +go at once, or I shall die. + +IVANOFF. [Shaking with wild laughter] What is this? Is it the beginning +for me of a new life? Is it, Sasha? Oh, my happiness, my joy! [He draws +her to him] My freshness, my youth! + +Enter ANNA from the garden. She sees her husband and SASHA, and stops as +if petrified. + +IVANOFF. Oh, then I shall live once more? And work? + +IVANOFF and SASHA kiss each other. After the kiss they look around and +see ANNA. + +IVANOFF. [With horror] Sarah! + +The curtain falls. + + + + +ACT III + +Library in IVANOFF'S house. On the walls hang maps, pictures, guns, +pistols, sickles, whips, etc. A writing-table. On it lie in disorder +knick-knacks, papers, books, parcels, and several revolvers. Near +the papers stand a lamp, a decanter of vodka, and a plate of salted +herrings. Pieces of bread and cucumber are scattered about. SHABELSKI +and LEBEDIEFF are sitting at the writing-table. BORKIN is sitting +astride a chair in the middle of the room. PETER is standing near the +door. + +LEBEDIEFF. The policy of France is clear and definite; the French know +what they want: it is to skin those German sausages, but the Germans +must sing another song; France is not the only thorn in their flesh. + +SHABELSKI. Nonsense! In my opinion the Germans are cowards and the +French are the same. They are showing their teeth at one another, but +you can take my word for it, they will not do more than that; they'll +never fight! + +BORKIN. Why should they fight? Why all these congresses, this arming and +expense? Do you know what I would do in their place? I would catch all +the dogs in the kingdom and inoculate them with Pasteur's serum, then I +would let them loose in the enemy's country, and the enemies would all +go mad in a month. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] His head is small, but the great ideas are hidden +away in it like fish in the sea! + +SHABELSKI. Oh, he is a genius. + +LEBEDIEFF. Heaven help you, Misha, you are a funny chap. [He stops +laughing] But how is this, gentlemen? Here we are talking Germany, +Germany, and never a word about vodka! Repetatur! [He fills three +glasses] Here's to you all! [He drinks and eats] This herring is the +best of all relishes. + +SHABELSKI. No, no, these cucumbers are better; every wise man since the +creation of the world has been trying to invent something better than +a salted cucumber, and not one has succeeded. [To PETER] Peter, go and +fetch some more cucumbers. And Peter, tell the cook to make four little +onion pasties, and see that we get them hot. + +PETER goes out. + +LEBEDIEFF. Caviar is good with vodka, but it must be prepared with +skill. Take a quarter of a pound of pressed caviar, two little onions, +and a little olive oil; mix them together and put a slice of lemon on +top--so! Lord! The very perfume would drive you crazy! + +BORKIN. Roast snipe are good too, but they must be cooked right. They +should first be cleaned, then sprinkled with bread crumbs, and roasted +until they will crackle between the teeth--crunch, crunch! + +SHABELSKI. We had something good at Martha's yesterday: white mushrooms. + +LEBEDIEFF. You don't say so! + +SHABELSKI. And they were especially well prepared, too, with onions and +bay-leaves and spices, you know. When the dish was opened, the odour +that floated out was simply intoxicating! + +LEBEDIEFF. What do you say, gentlemen? Repetatur! [He drinks] Good +health to you! [He looks at his watch] I must be going. I can't wait for +Nicholas. So you say Martha gave you mushrooms? We haven't seen one at +home. Will you please tell me, Count, what plot you are hatching that +takes you to Martha's so often? + +SHABELSKI. [Nodding at BORKIN] He wants me to marry her. + +LEBEDIEFF. Wants you to marry her! How old are you? + +SHABELSKI. Sixty-two. + +LEBEDIEFF. Really, you are just the age to marry, aren't you? And Martha +is just suited to you! + +BORKIN. This is not a question of Martha, but of Martha's money. + +LEBEDIEFF. Aren't you moonstruck, and don't you want the moon too? + +SHABELSKI. Borkin here is quite in earnest about it; the clever fellow +is sure I shall obey orders, and marry Martha. + +BORKIN. What do you mean? Aren't you sure yourself? + +SHABELSKI. Are you mad? I never was sure of anything. Bah! + +BORKIN. Many thanks! I am much obliged to you for the information. So +you are trying to fool me, are you? First you say you will marry Martha +and then you say you won't; the devil only knows which you really +mean, but I have given her my word of honour that you will. So you have +changed your mind, have you? + +SHABELSKI. He is actually in earnest; what an extraordinary man! + +BORKIN. [losing his temper] If that is how you feel about it, why have +you turned an honest woman's head? Her heart is set on your title, and +she can neither eat nor sleep for thinking of it. How can you make a +jest of such things? Do you think such behaviour is honourable? + +SHABELSKI. [Snapping his fingers] Well, why not play her this shabby +trick, after all? Eh? Just out of spite? I shall certainly do it, upon +my word I shall! What a joke it will be! + +Enter LVOFF. + +LEBEDIEFF. We bow before you, Aesculapius! [He shakes hands with LVOFF +and sings] + + "Doctor, doctor, save, oh, save me, + I am scared to death of dying!" + +LVOFF. Hasn't Ivanoff come home yet? + +LEBEDIEFF. Not yet. I have been waiting for him myself for over an hour. + +LVOFF walks impatiently up and down. + +LEBEDIEFF. How is Anna to-day? + +LVOFF. Very ill. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Sighing] May one go and pay one's respects to her? + +LVOFF. No, please don't. She is asleep, I believe. + +LEBEDIEFF. She is a lovely, charming woman. [Sighing] The day she +fainted at our house, on Sasha's birthday, I saw that she had not much +longer to live, poor thing. Let me see, why did she faint? When I ran +up, she was lying on the floor, ashy white, with Nicholas on his knees +beside her, and Sasha was standing by them in tears. Sasha and I went +about almost crazy for a week after that. + +SHABELSKI. [To LVOFF] Tell me, most honoured disciple of science, what +scholar discovered that the frequent visits of a young doctor were +beneficial to ladies suffering from affections of the chest? It is +a remarkable discovery, remarkable! Would you call such treatment +Allopathic or Homeopathic? + +LVOFF tries to answer, but makes an impatient gesture instead, and walks +out of the room. + +SHABELSKI. What a withering look he gave me! + +LEBEDIEFF. Some fiend must prompt you to say such things! Why did you +offend him? + +SHABELSKI. [Angrily] Why does he tell such lies? Consumption! No hope! +She is dying! It is nonsense, I can't abide him! + +LEBEDIEFF. What makes you think he is lying? + +SHABELSKI. [Gets up and walks up and down] I can't bear to think that a +living person could die like that, suddenly, without any reason at all. +Don't let us talk about it! + +KOSICH runs in panting. + +KOSICH. Is Ivanoff at home? How do you do? [He shakes hands quickly all +round] Is he at home? + +BORKIN. No, he isn't. + +KOSICH. [Sits down and jumps up again] In that case I must say goodbye; +I must be going. Business, you know. I am absolutely exhausted; run off +my feet! + +LEBEDIEFF. Where did you blow in from? + +KOSICH. From Barabanoff's. He and I have been playing cards all +night; we have only just stopped. I have been absolutely fleeced; that +Barabanoff is a demon at cards. [In a tearful voice] Just listen to +this: I had a heart and he [He turns to BORKIN, who jumps away from him] +led a diamond, and I led a heart, and he led another diamond. Well, he +didn't take the trick. [To LEBEDIEFF] We were playing three in clubs. I +had the ace and queen, and the ace and ten of spades-- + +LEBEDIEFF. [Stopping up his ears] Spare me, for heaven's sake, spare me! + +KOSICH. [To SHABELSKI] Do you understand? I had the ace and queen of +clubs, the ace and ten of spades. + +SHABELSKI. [Pushes him away] Go away, I don't want to listen to you! + +KOSICH. When suddenly misfortune overtook me. My ace of spades took the +first trick-- + +SHABELSKI. [Snatching up a revolver] Leave the room, or I shall shoot! + +KOSICH. [Waving his hands] What does this mean? Is this the Australian +bush, where no one has any interests in common? Where there is no public +spirit, and each man lives for himself alone? However, I must be off. My +time is precious. [He shakes hands with LEBEDIEFF] Pass! + +General laughter. KOSICH goes out. In the doorway he runs into AVDOTIA. + +AVDOTIA. [Shrieks] Bad luck to you, you nearly knocked me down. + +ALL. Oh, she is always everywhere at once! + +AVDOTIA. So this is where you all are? I have been looking for you all +over the house. Good-day to you, boys! + +[She shakes hands with everybody.] + +LEBEDIEFF. What brings you here? + +AVDOTIA. Business, my son. [To SHABELSKI] Business connected with your +highness. She commanded me to bow. [She bows] And to inquire after your +health. She told me to say, the little birdie, that if you did not come +to see her this evening she would cry her eyes out. Take him aside, +she said, and whisper in his ear. But why should I make a secret of her +message? We are not stealing chickens, but arranging an affair of lawful +love by mutual consent of both parties. And now, although I never drink, +I shall take a drop under these circumstances. + +LEBEDIEFF. So shall I. [He pours out the vodka] You must be immortal, +you old magpie! You were an old woman when I first knew you, thirty +years ago. + +AVDOTIA. I have lost count of the years. I have buried three husbands, +and would have married a fourth if any one had wanted a woman without a +dowry. I have had eight children. [She takes up the glass] Well, we have +begun a good work, may it come to a good end! They will live happily +ever after, and we shall enjoy their happiness. Love and good luck to +them both! [She drinks] This is strong vodka! + +SHABELSKI. [laughing loudly, to LEBEDIEFF] The funny thing is, they +actually think I am in earnest. How strange! [He gets up] And yet, Paul, +why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? Just out of spite? To give +the devil something to do, eh, Paul? + +LEBEDIEFF. You are talking nonsense, Count. You and I must fix our +thoughts on dying now; we have left Martha's money far behind us; our +day is over. + +SHABELSKI. No, I shall certainly marry her; upon my word, I shall! + +Enter IVANOFF and LVOFF. + +LVOFF. Will you please spare me five minutes of your time? + +LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Nicholas! [He goes to meet IVANOFF] How are you, old +friend? I have been waiting an hour for you. + +AVDOTIA. [Bows] How do you do, my son? + +IVANOFF. [Bitterly] So you have turned my library into a bar-room again, +have you? And yet I have begged you all a thousand times not to do so! +[He goes up to the table] There, you see, you have spilt vodka all +over my papers and scattered crumbs and cucumbers everywhere! It is +disgusting! + +LEBEDIEFF. I beg your pardon, Nicholas. Please forgive me. I have +something very important to speak to you about. + +BORKIN. So have I. + +LVOFF. May I have a word with you? + +IVANOFF. [Pointing to LEBEDIEFF] He wants to speak to me; wait a minute. +[To LEBEDIEFF] Well, what is it? + +LEBEDIEFF. [To the others] Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I want to +speak to him in private. + +SHABELSKI goes out, followed by AVDOTIA, BORKIN, and LVOFF. + +IVANOFF. Paul, you may drink yourself as much as you choose, it is your +weakness, but I must ask you not to make my uncle tipsy. He never used +to drink at all; it is bad for him. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Startled] My dear boy, I didn't know that! I wasn't thinking +of him at all. + +IVANOFF. If this old baby should die on my hands the blame would be +mine, not yours. Now, what do you want? [A pause.] + +LEBEDIEFF. The fact is, Nicholas--I really don't know how I can put +it to make it seem less brutal--Nicholas, I am ashamed of myself, I am +blushing, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. My dear boy, put +yourself in my place; remember that I am not a free man, I am as putty +in the hands of my wife, a slave--forgive me! + +IVANOFF. What does this mean? + +LEBEDIEFF. My wife has sent me to you; do me a favour, be a friend to +me, pay her the interest on the money you owe her. Believe me, she has +been tormenting me and going for me tooth and nail. For heaven's sake, +free yourself from her clutches! + +IVANOFF. You know, Paul, that I have no money now. + +LEBEDIEFF. I know, I know, but what can I do? She won't wait. If she +should sue you for the money, how could Sasha and I ever look you in the +face again? + +IVANOFF. I am ready to sink through the floor with shame, Paul, but +where, where shall I get the money? Tell me, where? There is nothing I +can do but to wait until I sell my wheat in the autumn. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Shrieks] But she won't wait! [A pause.] + +IVANOFF. Your position is very delicate and unpleasant, but mine is +even worse. [He walks up and down in deep thought] I am at my wit's end, +there is nothing I can sell now. + +LEBEDIEFF. You might go to Mulbach and get some money from him; doesn't +he owe you sixty thousand roubles? + +IVANOFF makes a despairing gesture. + +LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas, I know you will be angry, but you +must forgive an old drunkard like me. This is between friends; remember +I am your friend. We were students together, both Liberals; we had the +same interests and ideals; we studied together at the University of +Moscow. It is our Alma Mater. [He takes out his purse] I have a private +fund here; not a soul at home knows of its existence. Let me lend it +to you. [He takes out the money and lays it on the table] Forget your +pride; this is between friends! I should take it from you, indeed I +should! [A pause] There is the money, one hundred thousand roubles. Take +it; go to her y ourself and say: "Take the money, Zinaida, and may you +choke on it." Only, for heaven's sake, don't let her see by your manner +that you got it from me, or she would certainly go for me, with her old +jam! [He looks intently into IVANOFF'S face] There, there, no matter. +[He quickly takes up the money and stuffs it back into his pocket] Don't +take it, I was only joking. Forgive me! Are you hurt? + +IVANOFF waves his hand. + +LEBEDIEFF. Yes, the truth is--[He sighs] This is a time of sorrow and +pain for you. A man, brother, is like a samovar; he cannot always stand +coolly on a shelf; hot coals will be dropped into him some day, and +then--fizz! The comparison is idiotic, but it is the best I can think +of. [Sighing] Misfortunes wring the soul, and yet I am not worried about +you, brother. Wheat goes through the mill, and comes out as flour, and +you will come safely through your troubles; but I am annoyed, Nicholas, +and angry with the people around you. The whole countryside is buzzing +with gossip; where does it all start? They say you will be soon arrested +for your debts, that you are a bloodthirsty murderer, a monster of +cruelty, a robber. + +IVANOFF. All that is nothing to me; my head is aching. + +LEBEDIEFF. Because you think so much. + +IVANOFF. I never think. + +LEBEDIEFF. Come, Nicholas, snap your fingers at the whole thing, and +drive over to visit us. Sasha loves and understands you. She is a sweet, +honest, lovely girl; too good to be the child of her mother and me! +Sometimes, when I look at her, I cannot believe that such a treasure +could belong to a fat old drunkard like me. Go to her, talk to her, and +let her cheer you. She is a good, true-hearted girl. + +IVANOFF. Paul, my dear friend, please go, and leave me alone. + +LEBEDIEFF. I understand, I understand! [He glances at his watch] Yes, I +understand. [He kisses IVANOFF] Good-bye, I must go to the blessing +of the school now. [He goes as far as the door, then stops] She is so +clever! Sasha and I were talking about gossiping yesterday, and she +flashed out this epigram: "Father," she said, "fire-flies shine at night +so that the night-birds may make them their prey, and good people are +made to be preyed upon by gossips and slanderers." What do you think of +that? She is a genius, another George Sand! + +IVANOFF. [Stopping him as he goes out] Paul, what is the matter with me? + +LEBEDIEFF. I have wanted to ask you that myself, but I must confess I +was ashamed to. I don't know, old chap. Sometimes I think your troubles +have been too heavy for you, and yet I know you are not the kind to +give in to them; you would not be overcome by misfortune. It must be +something else, Nicholas, but what it may be I can't imagine. + +IVANOFF. I can't imagine either what the matter is, unless--and yet +no--[A pause] Well, do you see, this is what I wanted to say. I used to +have a workman called Simon, you remember him. Once, at threshing-time, +to show the girls how strong he was, he loaded himself with two sacks +of rye, and broke his back. He died soon after. I think I have broken my +back also. First I went to school, then to the university, then came the +cares of this estate, all my plans--I did not believe what others did; +did not marry as others did; I worked passionately, risked everything; +no one else, as you know, threw their money away to right and left as I +did. So I heaped the burdens on my back, and it broke. We are all heroes +at twenty, ready to attack anything, to do everything, and at thirty are +worn-out, useless men. How, oh, how do you account for this weariness? +However, I may be quite wrong; go away, Paul, I am boring you. + +LEBEDIEFF. I know what is the matter with you, old man: you got out of +bed on the wrong side this morning. + +IVANOFF. That is stupid, Paul, and stale. Go away! + +LEBEDIEFF. It is stupid, certainly. I see that myself now. I am going at +once. [LEBEDIEFF goes out.] + +IVANOFF. [Alone] I am a worthless, miserable, useless man. Only a man +equally miserable and suffering, as Paul is, could love or esteem me +now. Good God! How I loathe myself! How bitterly I hate my voice, my +hands, my thoughts, these clothes, each step I take! How ridiculous it +is, how disgusting! Less than a year ago I was healthy and strong, full +of pride and energy and enthusiasm. I worked with these hands here, and +my words could move the dullest man to tears. I could weep with sorrow, +and grow indignant at the sight of wrong. I could feel the glow of +inspiration, and understand the beauty and romance of the silent nights +which I used to watch through from evening until dawn, sitting at my +worktable, and giving up my soul to dreams. I believed in a bright +future then, and looked into it as trustfully as a child looks into its +mother's eyes. And now, oh, it is terrible! I am tired and without hope; +I spend my days and nights in idleness; I have no control over my feet +or brain. My estate is ruined, my woods are falling under the blows of +the axe. [He weeps] My neglected land looks up at me as reproachfully +as an orphan. I expect nothing, am sorry for nothing; my whole soul +trembles at the thought of each new day. And what can I think of my +treatment of Sarah? I promised her love and happiness forever; I opened +her eyes to the promise of a future such as she had never even dreamed +of. She believed me, and though for five years I have seen her sinking +under the weight of her sacrifices to me, and losing her strength in +her struggles with her conscience, God knows she has never given me one +angry look, or uttered one word of reproach. What is the result? That I +don't love her! Why? Is it possible? Can it be true? I can't understand. +She is suffering; her days are numbered; yet I fly like a contemptible +coward from her white face, her sunken chest, her pleading eyes. Oh, I +am ashamed, ashamed! [A pause] Sasha, a young girl, is sorry for me in +my misery. She confesses to me that she loves me; me, almost an old man! +Whereupon I lose my head, and exalted as if by music, I yell: "Hurrah +for a new life and new happiness!" Next day I believe in this new life +and happiness as little as I believe in my happiness at home. What is +the matter with me? What is this pit I am wallowing in? What is the +cause of this weakness? What does this nervousness come from? If my sick +wife wounds my pride, if a servant makes a mistake, if my gun misses +fire, I lose my temper and get violent and altogether unlike myself. +I can't, I can't understand it; the easiest way out would be a bullet +through the head! + +Enter LVOFF. + +LVOFF. I must have an explanation with you, Ivanoff. + +IVANOFF. If we are going to have an explanation every day, doctor, we +shall neither of us have the strength to stand it. + +LVOFF. Will you be good enough to hear me? + +IVANOFF. I have heard all you have told me every day, and have failed to +discover yet what you want me to do. + +LVOFF. I have always spoken plainly enough, and only an utterly +heartless and cruel man could fail to understand me. + +IVANOFF. I know that my wife is dying; I know that I have sinned +irreparably; I know that you are an honest man. What more can you tell +me? + +LVOFF. The sight of human cruelty maddens me. The woman is dying and +she has a mother and father whom she loves, and longs to see once more +before she dies. They know that she is dying and that she loves them +still, but with diabolical cruelty, as if to flaunt their religious +zeal, they refuse to see her and forgive her. You are the man for whom +she has sacrificed her home, her peace of mind, everything. Yet you +unblushingly go gadding to the Lebedieffs' every evening, for reasons +that are absolutely unmistakable! + +IVANOFF. Ah me, it is two weeks since I was there! + +LVOFF. [Not listening to him] To men like yourself one must speak +plainly, and if you don't want to hear what I have to say, you need not +listen. I always call a spade a spade; the truth is, you want her to +die so that the way may be cleared for your other schemes. Be it so; +but can't you wait? If, instead of crushing the life out of your wife by +your heartless egoism, you let her die naturally, do you think you would +lose Sasha and Sasha's money? Such an absolute Tartuffe as you are could +turn the girl's head and get her money a year from now as easily as you +can to-day. Why are you in such a hurry? Why do you want your wife to +die now, instead of in a month's time, or a year's? + +IVANOFF. This is torture! You are a very bad doctor if you think a +man can control himself forever. It is all I can do not to answer your +insults. + +LVOFF. Look here, whom are you trying to deceive? Throw off this +disguise! + +IVANOFF. You who are so clever, you think that nothing in the world is +easier than to understand me, do you? I married Annie for her money, did +I? And when her parents wouldn't give it to me, I changed my plans, and +am now hustling her out of the world so that I may marry another woman, +who will bring me what I want? You think so, do you? Oh, how easy and +simple it all is! But you are mistaken, doctor; in each one of us there +are too many springs, too many wheels and cogs for us to judge each +other by first impressions or by two or three external indications. I +can not understand you, you cannot understand me, and neither of us can +understand himself. A man may be a splendid doctor, and at the same time +a very bad judge of human nature; you will admit that, unless you are +too self-confident. + +LVOFF. Do you really think that your character is so mysterious, and +that I am too stupid to tell vice from virtue? + +IVANOFF. It is clear that we shall never agree, so let me beg you to +answer me now without any more preamble: exactly what do you want me to +do? [Angrily] What are you after anyway? And with whom have I the honour +of speaking? With my lawyer, or with my wife's doctor? + +LVOFF. I am a doctor, and as such I demand that you change your conduct +toward your wife; it is killing her. + +IVANOFF. What shall I do? Tell me! If you understand me so much better +than I understand myself, for heaven's sake tell me exactly what to do! + +LVOFF. In the first place, don't be so unguarded in your behaviour. + +IVANOFF. Heaven help me, do you mean to say that you understand +yourself? [He drinks some water] Now go away; I am guilty a thousand +times over; I shall answer for my sins before God; but nothing has given +you the right to torture me daily as you do. + +LVOFF. Who has given you the right to insult my sense of honour? You +have maddened and poisoned my soul. Before I came to this place I knew +that stupid, crazy, deluded people existed, but I never imagined that +any one could be so criminal as to turn his mind deliberately in the +direction of wickedness. I loved and esteemed humanity then, but since I +have known you-- + +IVANOFF. I have heard all that before. + +LVOFF. You have, have you? + +He goes out, shrugging his shoulders. He sees SASHA, who comes in at +this moment dressed for riding. + +LVOFF. Now, however, I hope that we can understand one another! + +IVANOFF. [Startled] Oh, Sasha, is that you? + +SASHA. Yes, it is I. How are you? You didn't expect me, did you? Why +haven't you been to see us? + +IVANOFF. Sasha, this is really imprudent of you! Your coming will have a +terrible effect on my wife! + +SASHA. She won't see me; I came in by the back entrance; I shall go in +a minute. I am so anxious about you. Tell me, are you well? Why haven't +you been to see us for such a long time? + +IVANOFF. My wife is offended already, and almost dying, and now you come +here; Sasha, Sasha, this is thoughtless and unkind of you. + +SASHA. How could I help coming? It is two weeks since you were at our +house, and you have not answered my letters. I imagined you suffering +dreadfully, or ill, or dead. I have not slept for nights. I am going +now, but first tell me that you are well. + +IVANOFF. No, I am not well. I am a torment to myself, and every one +torments me without end. I can't stand it! And now you come here. How +morbid and unnatural it all is, Sasha. I am terribly guilty. + +SASHA. What dreadful, pitiful speeches you make! So you are guilty, are +you? Tell me, then, what is it you have done? + +IVANOFF I don't know; I don't know! + +SASHA. That is no answer. Every sinner should know what he is guilty of. +Perhaps you have been forging money? + +IVANOFF. That is stupid. + +SASHA. Or are you guilty because you no longer love your wife? Perhaps +you are, but no one is master of his feelings, and you did not mean to +stop loving her. Do you feel guilty because she saw me telling you that +I love you? No, that cannot be, because you did not want her to see it-- + +IVANOFF. [Interrupting her] And so on, and so on! First you say I love, +and then you say I don't; that I am not master of my feelings. All these +are commonplace, worn-out sentiments, with which you cannot help me. + +SASHA. It is impossible to talk to you. [She looks at a picture on the +wall] How well those dogs are drawn! Were they done from life? + +IVANOFF. Yes, from life. And this whole romance of ours is a tedious +old story; a man loses heart and begins to go down in the world; a girl +appears, brave and strong of heart, and gives him a hand to help him +to rise again. Such situations are pretty, but they are only found in +novels and not in real life. + +SASHA. No, they are found in real life too. + +IVANOFF. Now I see how well you understand real life! My sufferings seem +noble to you; you imagine you have discovered in me a second Hamlet; +but my state of mind in all its phases is only fit to furnish food for +contempt and derision. My contortions are ridiculous enough to make any +one die of laughter, and you want to play the guardian angel; you want +to do a noble deed and save me. Oh, how I hate myself to-day! I feel +that this tension must soon be relieved in some way. Either I shall +break something, or else-- + +SASHA. That is exactly what you need. Let yourself go! Smash something; +break it to pieces; give a yell! You are angry with me, it was foolish +of me to come here. Very well, then, get excited about it; storm at me; +stamp your feet! Well, aren't you getting angry? + +IVANOFF. You ridiculous girl! + +SASHA. Splendid! So we are smiling at last! Be kind, do me the favour of +smiling once more! + +IVANOFF. [Laughing] I have noticed that whenever you start reforming +me and saving my soul, and teaching me how to be good, your face grows +naive, oh so naive, and your eyes grow as wide as if you were looking at +a comet. Wait a moment; your shoulder is covered with dust. [He brushes +her shoulder] A naive man is nothing better than a fool, but you women +contrive to be naive in such a way that in you it seems sweet, and +gentle, and proper, and not as silly as it really is. What a strange way +you have, though, of ignoring a man as long as he is well and happy, +and fastening yourselves to him as soon as he begins to whine and go +down-hill! Do you actually think it is worse to be the wife of a strong +man than to nurse some whimpering invalid? + +SASHA. Yes, it is worse. + +IVANOFF. Why do you think so? [Laughing loudly] It is a good thing +Darwin can't hear what you are saying! He would be furious with you for +degrading the human race. Soon, thanks to your kindness, only invalids +and hypochondriacs will be born into the world. + +SASHA. There are a great many things a man cannot understand. Any girl +would rather love an unfortunate man than a fortunate one, because every +girl would like to do something by loving. A man has his work to do, and +so for him love is kept in the background. To talk to his wife, to walk +with her in the garden, to pass the time pleasantly with her, that is +all that love means to a man. But for us, love means life. I love you; +that means that I dream only of how I shall cure you of your sadness, +how I shall go with you to the ends of the earth. If you are in heaven, +I am in heaven; if you are in the pit, I am in the pit. For instance, it +would be the greatest happiness for me to write all night for you, or to +watch all night that no one should wake you. I remember that three years +ago, at threshing time, you came to us all dusty and sunburnt and tired, +and asked for a drink. When I brought you a glass of water you were +already lying on the sofa and sleeping like a dead man. You slept there +for half a day, and all that time I watched by the door that no one +should disturb you. How happy I was! The more a girl can do, the greater +her love will be; that is, I mean, the more she feels it. + +IVANOFF. The love that accomplishes things--hm--that is a fairy tale, +a girl's dream; and yet, perhaps it is as it should be. [He shrugs his +shoulders] How can I tell? [Gaily] On my honour, Sasha, I really am +quite a respectable man. Judge for yourself: I have always liked to +discuss things, but I have never in my life said that our women were +corrupt, or that such and such a woman was on the down-hill path. I have +always been grateful, and nothing more. No, nothing more. Dear child, +how comical you are! And what a ridiculous old stupid I am! I shock all +good Christian folk, and go about complaining from morning to night. +[He laughs and then leaves her suddenly] But you must go, Sasha; we have +forgotten ourselves. + +SASHA. Yes, it is time to go. Good-bye. I am afraid that that honest +doctor of yours will have told Anna out of a sense of duty that I am +here. Take my advice: go at once to your wife and stay with her. Stay, +and stay, and stay, and if it should be for a year, you must still +stay, or for ten years. It is your duty. You must repent, and ask her +forgiveness, and weep. That is what you ought to do, and the great thing +is not to forget to do right. + +IVANOFF. Again I feel as if I were going crazy; again! + +SASHA. Well, heaven help you! You must forget me entirely. In two weeks +you must send me a line and I shall be content with that. But I shall +write to you-- + +BORKIN looks in at the door. + +BORKIN. Ivanoff, may I come in? [He sees SASHA] I beg your pardon, I did +not see you. Bonjour! [He bows.] + +SASHA. [Embarrassed] How do you do? + +BORKIN. You are plumper and prettier than ever. + +SASHA. [To IVANOFF] I must go, Nicholas, I must go. [She goes out.] + +BORKIN. What a beautiful apparition! I came expecting prose and found +poetry instead. [Sings] + +"You showed yourself to the world as a bird----" + +IVANOFF walks excitedly up and down. + +BORKIN. [Sits down] There is something in her, Nicholas, that one +doesn't find in other women, isn't there? An elfin strangeness. [He +sighs] Although she is without doubt the richest girl in the country, +her mother is so stingy that no one will have her. After her mother's +death Sasha will have the whole fortune, but until then she will only +give her ten thousand roubles and an old flat-iron, and to get that she +will have to humble herself to the ground. [He feels in his pockets] +Will you have a smoke? [He offers IVANOFF his cigarette case] These are +very good. + +IVANOFF. [Comes toward BORKIN stifled with rage] Leave my house this +instant, and don't you ever dare to set foot in it again! Go this +instant! + +BORKIN gets up and drops his cigarette. + +IVANOFF. Go at once! + +BORKIN. Nicholas, what do you mean? Why are you so angry? + +IVANOFF. Why! Where did you get those cigarettes? Where? You think +perhaps that I don't know where you take the old man every day, and for +what purpose? + +BORKIN. [Shrugs his shoulders] What business is it of yours? + +IVANOFF. You blackguard, you! The disgraceful rumours that you have been +spreading about me have made me disreputable in the eyes of the whole +countryside. You and I have nothing in common, and I ask you to leave my +house this instant. + +BORKIN. I know that you are saying all this in a moment of irritation, +and so I am not angry with you. Insult me as much as you please. [He +picks up his cigarette] It is time though, to shake off this melancholy +of yours; you're not a schoolboy. + +IVANOFF. What did I tell you? [Shuddering] Are you making fun of me? + +Enter ANNA. + +BORKIN. There now, there comes Anna! I shall go. + +IVANOFF stops near the table and stands with his head bowed. + +ANNA. [After a pause] What did she come here for? What did she come here +for, I ask you? + +IVANOFF. Don't ask me, Annie. [A pause] I am terribly guilty. Think +of any punishment you want to inflict on me; I can stand anything, but +don't, oh, don't ask questions! + +ANNA. [Angrily] So that is the sort of man you are? Now I understand +you, and can see how degraded, how dishonourable you are! Do you +remember that you came to me once and lied to me about your love? I +believed you, and left my mother, my father, and my faith to follow you. +Yes, you lied to me of goodness and honour, of your noble aspirations +and I believed every word---- + +IVANOFF. I have never lied to you, Annie. + +ANNA. I have lived with you five years now, and I am tired and ill, but +I have always loved you and have never left you for a moment. You +have been my idol, and what have you done? All this time you have been +deceiving me in the most dastardly way---- + +IVANOFF. Annie, don't say what isn't so. I have made mistakes, but I +have never told a lie in my life. You dare not accuse me of that! + +ANNA. It is all clear to me now. You married me because you expected my +mother and father to forgive me and give you my money; that is what you +expected. + +IVANOFF. Good Lord, Annie! If I must suffer like this, I must have the +patience to bear it. [He begins to weep.] + +ANNA. Be quiet! When you found that I wasn't bringing you any money, +you tried another game. Now I remember and understand everything. [She +begins to cry] You have never loved me or been faithful to me--never! + +IVANOFF. Sarah! That is a lie! Say what you want, but don't insult me +with a lie! + +ANNA. You dishonest, degraded man! You owe money to Lebedieff, and now, +to escape paying your debts, you are trying to turn the head of his +daughter and betray her as you have betrayed me. Can you deny it? + +IVANOFF. [Stifled with rage] For heaven's sake, be quiet! I can't answer +for what I may do! I am choking with rage and I--I might insult you! + +ANNA. I am not the only one whom you have basely deceived. You have +always blamed Borkin for all your dishonest tricks, but now I know whose +they are. + +IVANOFF. Sarah, stop at once and go away, or else I shall say something +terrible. I long to say a dreadful, cruel thing [He shrieks] Hold your +tongue, Jewess! + +ANNA. I won't hold my tongue! You have deceived me too long for me to be +silent now. + +IVANOFF. So you won't be quiet? [He struggles with himself] Go, for +heaven's sake! + +ANNA. Go now, and betray Sasha! + +IVANOFF. Know then that you--are dying! The doctor told me that you are +dying. + +ANNA. [Sits down and speaks in a low voice] When did he + +IVANOFF. [Clutches his head with both hands] Oh, how guilty I am--how +guilty! [He sobs.] + +The curtain falls. + +About a year passes between the third and fourth acts. + + + + +ACT IV + +A sitting-room in LEBEDIEFF'S house. In the middle of the wall at the +back of the room is an arch dividing the sitting-room from the ballroom. +To the right and left are doors. Some old bronzes are placed about the +room; family portraits are hanging on the walls. Everything is arranged +as if for some festivity. On the piano lies a violin; near it stands a +violoncello. During the entire act guests, dressed as for a ball, are +seen walking about in the ball-room. + +Enter LVOFF, looking at his watch. + +LVOFF. It is five o'clock. The ceremony must have begun. First the +priest will bless them, and then they will be led to the church to be +married. Is this how virtue and justice triumph? Not being able to rob +Sarah, he has tortured her to death; and now he has found another victim +whom he will deceive until he has robbed her, and then he will get rid +of her as he got rid of poor Sarah. It is the same old sordid story. +[A pause] He will live to a fine old age in the seventh heaven of +happiness, and will die with a clear conscience. No, Ivanoff, it shall +not be! I shall drag your villainy to light! And when I tear off that +accursed mask of yours and show you to the world as the blackguard you +are, you shall come plunging down headfirst from your seventh heaven, +into a pit so deep that the devil himself will not be able to drag you +out of it! I am a man of honour; it is my duty to interfere in such +cases as yours, and to open the eyes of the blind. I shall fulfil my +mission, and to-morrow will find me far away from this accursed +place. [Thoughtfully] But what shall I do? To have an explanation +with Lebedieff would be a hopeless task. Shall I make a scandal, and +challenge Ivanoff to a duel? I am as excited as a child, and have +entirely lost the power of planning anything. What shall I do? Shall I +fight a duel? + +Enter KOSICH. He goes gaily up to LVOFF. + +KOSICH. I declared a little slam in clubs yesterday, and made a grand +slam! Only that man Barabanoff spoilt the whole game for me again. +We were playing--well, I said "No trumps" and he said "Pass." "Two in +clubs," he passed again. I made it two in hearts. He said "Three in +clubs," and just imagine, can you, what happened? I declared a little +slam and he never showed his ace! If he had showed his ace, the villain, +I should have declared a grand slam in no trumps! + +LVOFF. Excuse me, I don't play cards, and so it is impossible for me to +share your enthusiasm. When does the ceremony begin? + +KOSICH. At once, I think. They are now bringing Zuzu to herself again. +She is bellowing like a bull; she can't bear to see the money go. + +LVOFF. And what about the daughter? + +KOSICH. No, it is the money. She doesn't like this affair anyway. He is +marrying her daughter, and that means he won't pay his debts for a long +time. One can't sue one's son-in-law. + +MARTHA, very much dressed up, struts across the stage past LVOFF and +KOSICH. The latter bursts out laughing behind his hand. MARTHA looks +around. + +MARTHA. Idiot! + +KOSICH digs her in the ribs and laughs loudly. + +MARTHA. Boor! + +KOSICH. [Laughing] The woman's head has been turned. Before she fixed +her eye on a title she was like any other woman, but there is no coming +near her now! [Angrily] A boor, indeed! + +LVOFF. [Excitedly] Listen to me; tell me honestly, what do you think of +Ivanoff? + +KOSICH. He's no good at all. He plays cards like a lunatic. This is what +happened last year during Lent: I, the Count, Borkin and he, sat down to +a game of cards. I led a---- + +LVOFF [Interrupting him] Is he a good man? + +KOSICH. He? Yes, he's a good one! He and the Count are a pair of trumps. +They have keen noses for a good game. First, Ivanoff set his heart on +the Jewess, then, when his schemes failed in that quarter, he turned his +thoughts toward Zuzu's money-bags. I'll wager you he'll ruin Zuzu in +a year. He will ruin Zuzu, and the Count will ruin Martha. They will +gather up all the money they can lay hands on, and live happily ever +after! But, doctor, why are you so pale to-day? You look like a ghost. + +LVOFF. Oh, it's nothing. I drank a little too much yesterday. + +Enter LEBEDIEFF with SASHA. + +LEBEDIEFF. We can have our talk here. [To LVOFF and KOSICH] Go into the +ball-room, you two old fogies, and talk to the girls. Sasha and I want +to talk alone here. + +KOSICH. [Snapping his fingers enthusiastically as he goes by SASHA] What +a picture! A queen of trumps! + +LEBEDIEFF. Go along, you old cave-dweller; go along. + +KOSICH and LVOFF go out. + +LEBEDIEFF. Sit down, Sasha, there--[He sits down and looks about him] +Listen to me attentively and with proper respect. The fact is, your +mother has asked me to say this, do you understand? I am not speaking +for myself. Your mother told me to speak to you. + +SASHA. Papa, do say it briefly! + +LEBEDIEFF. When you are married we mean to give you fifteen thousand +roubles. Please don't let us have any discussion about it afterward. +Wait, now! Be quiet! That is only the beginning. The best is yet +to come. We have allotted you fifteen thousand roubles, but in +consideration of the fact that Nicholas owes your mother nine thousand, +that sum will have to be deducted from the amount we mean to give you. +Very well. Now, beside that---- + +SASHA. Why do you tell me all this? + +LEBEDIEFF. Your mother told me to. + +SASHA. Leave me in peace! If you had any respect for yourself or me you +could not permit yourself to speak to me in this way. I don't want your +money! I have not asked for it, and never shall. + +LEBEDIEFF. What are you attacking me for? The two rats in Gogol's fable +sniffed first and then ran away, but you attack without even sniffing. + +SASHA. Leave me in peace, and do not offend my ears with your two-penny +calculations. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Losing his temper] Bah! You all, every one of you, do all +you can to make me cut my throat or kill somebody. One of you screeches +and fusses all day and counts every penny, and the other is so clever +and humane and emancipated that she cannot understand her own father! +I offend your ears, do I? Don't you realise that before I came here to +offend your ears I was being torn to pieces over there, [He points to +the door] literally drawn and quartered? So you cannot understand? You +two have addled my brain till I am utterly at my wits' end; indeed I am! +[He goes toward the door, and stops] I don't like this business at all; +I don't like any thing about you-- + +SASHA. What is it, especially, that you don't like? + +LEBEDIEFF. Everything, everything! + +SASHA. What do you mean by everything? + +LEBEDIEFF. Let me explain exactly what I mean. Everything displeases me. +As for your marriage, I simply can't abide it. [He goes up to SASHA and +speaks caressingly] Forgive me, little Sasha, this marriage may be a +wise one; it may be honest and not misguided, nevertheless, there is +something about the whole affair that is not right; no, not right! You +are not marrying as other girls do; you are young and fresh and pure +as a drop of water, and he is a widower, battered and worn. Heaven help +him. I don't understand him at all. [He kisses his daughter] Forgive +me for saying so, Sasha, but I am sure there is something crooked about +this affair; it is making a great deal of talk. It seems people are +saying that first Sarah died, and then suddenly Ivanoff wanted to marry +you. [Quickly] But, no, I am like an old woman; I am gossiping like a +magpie. You must not listen to me or any one, only to your own heart. + +SASHA. Papa, I feel myself that there is something wrong about my +marriage. Something wrong, yes, wrong! Oh, if you only knew how heavy +my heart is; this is unbearable! I am frightened and ashamed to confess +this; Papa darling, you must help me, for heaven's sake. Oh, can't you +tell me what I should do? + +LEBEDIEFF. What is the matter, Sasha, what is it? + +SASHA. I am so frightened, more frightened than I have ever been before. +[She glances around her] I cannot understand him now, and I never shall. +He has not smiled or looked straight into my eyes once since we have +been engaged. He is forever complaining and apologising for something; +hinting at some crime he is guilty of, and trembling. I am so tired! +There are even moments when I think--I think--that I do not love him as +I should, and when he comes to see us, or talks to me, I get so tired! +What does it mean, dear father? I am afraid. + +LEBEDIEFF. My darling, my only child, do as your old father advises you; +give him up! + +SASHA. [Frightened] Oh! How can you say that? + +LEBEDIEFF. Yes, do it, little Sasha! It will make a scandal, all the +tongues in the country will be wagging about it, but it is better to +live down a scandal than to ruin one's life. + +SASHA. Don't say that, father. Oh, don't. I refuse to listen! I must +crush such gloomy thoughts. He is good and unhappy and misunderstood. I +shall love him and learn to understand him. I shall set him on his feet +again. I shall do my duty. That is settled. + +LEBEDIEFF. This is not your duty, but a delusion-- + +SASHA. We have said enough. I have confessed things to you that I have +not dared to admit even to myself. Don't speak about this to any one. +Let us forget it. + +LEBEDIEFF. I am hopelessly puzzled, and either my mind is going from +old age or else you have all grown very clever, but I'll be hanged if I +understand this business at all. + +Enter SHABELSKI. + +SHABELSKI. Confound you all and myself, too! This is maddening! + +LEBEDIEFF. What do you want? + +SHABELSKI Seriously, I must really do something horrid and rascally, so +that not only I but everybody else will be disgusted by it. I certainly +shall find something to do, upon my word I shall! I have already told +Borkin to announce that I am to be married. [He laughs] Everybody is a +scoundrel and I must be one too! + +LEBEDIEFF. I am tired of you, Matthew. Look here, man you talk in such a +way that, excuse my saying so, you will soon find yourself in a lunatic +asylum! + +SHABELSKI. Could a lunatic asylum possibly be worse than this house, or +any othe r? Kindly take me there at once. Please do! Everybody is +wicked and futile and worthless and stupid; I am an object of disgust to +myself, I don't believe a word I say----- + +LEBEDIEFF. Let me give you a piece of advice, old man; fill your mouth +full of tow, light it, and blow at everybody. Or, better still, take +your hat and go home. This is a wedding, we all want to enjoy ourselves +and you are croaking like a raven. Yes, really. + +SHABELSKI leans on the piano and begins to sob. + +LEBEDIEFF. Good gracious, Matthew, Count! What is it, dear Matthew, old +friend? Have I offended you? There, forgive me; I didn't mean to hurt +you. Come, drink some water. + +SHABELSKI. I don't want any water. [Raises his head.] + +LEBEDIEFF. What are you crying about? + +SHABELSKI. Nothing in particular; I was just crying. + +LEBEDIEFF. Matthew, tell me the truth, what is it? What has happened? + +SHABELSKI. I caught sight of that violoncello, and--and--I remembered +the Jewess. + +LEBEDIEFF. What an unfortunate moment you have chosen to remember her. +Peace be with her! But don't think of her now. + +SHABELSKI. We used to play duets together. She was a beautiful, a +glorious woman. + +SASHA sobs. + +LEBEDIEFF. What, are you crying too? Stop, Sasha! Dear me, they are both +howling now, and I--and I--Do go away; the guests will see you! + +SHABELSKI. Paul, when the sun is shining, it is gay even in a cemetery. +One can be cheerful even in old age if it is lighted by hope; but I have +nothing to hope for--not a thing! + +LEBEDIEFF. Yes, it is rather sad for you. You have no children, no +money, no occupation. Well, but what is there to be done about it? [To +SASHA] What is the matter with you, Sasha? + +SHABELSKI. Paul, give me some money. I will repay you in the next world. +I would go to Paris and see my wife's grave. I have given away a great +deal of money in my life, half my fortune indeed, and I have a right to +ask for some now. Besides, I am asking a friend. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Embarrassed] My dear boy, I haven't a penny. All +right though. That is to say, I can't promise anything, but you +understand--very well, very well. [Aside] This is agony! + +Enter MARTHA. + +MARTHA. Where is my partner? Count, how dare you leave me alone? You are +horrid! [She taps SHABELSKI on the arm with her fan] + +SHABELSKI. [Impatiently] Leave me alone! I can't abide you! + +MARTHA. [Frightened] How? What? + +SHABELSKI. Go away! + +MARTHA. [Sinks into an arm-chair] Oh! Oh! Oh! [She bursts into tears.] + +Enter ZINAIDA crying. + +ZINAIDA. Some one has just arrived; it must be one of the ushers. It is +time for the ceremony to begin. + +SASHA. [Imploringly] Mother! + +LEBEDIEFF. Well, now you are all bawling. What a quartette! Come, come, +don't let us have any more of this dampness! Matthew! Martha! If you go +on like this, I--I--shall cry too. [Bursts into tears] Heavens! + +ZINAIDA. If you don't need your mother any more, if you are determined +not to obey her, I shall have to do as you want, and you have my +blessing. + +Enter IVANOFF, dressed in a long coat, with gloves on. + +LEBEDIEFF This is the finishing touch! What do you want? + +SHABELSKI. Why are you here? + +IVANOFF. I beg your pardon, you must allow me to speak to Sasha alone. + +LEBEDIEFF. The bridegroom must not come to see the bride before the +wedding. It is time for you to go to the church. + +IVANOFF. Paul, I implore you. + +LEBEDIEFF shrugs his shoulders. LEBEDIEFF, ZINAIDA, SHABELSKI, and +MARTHA go out. + +SASHA. [Sternly] What do you want? + +IVANOFF. I am choking with anger; I cannot speak calmly. Listen to me; +as I was dressing just now for the wedding, I looked in the glass and +saw how grey my temples were. Sasha, this must not be! Let us end this +senseless comedy before it is too late. You are young and pure; you have +all your life before you, but I---- + +SASHA. The same old story; I have heard it a thousand times and I am +tired of it. Go quickly to the church and don't keep everybody waiting! + +IVANOFF. I shall go straight home, and you must explain to your family +somehow that there is to be no wedding. Explain it as you please. It is +time we came to our senses. I have been playing the part of Hamlet and +you have been playing the part of a noble and devoted girl. We have kept +up the farce long enough. + +SASHA. [Losing her temper] How can you speak to me like this? I won't +have it. + +IVANOFF. But I am speaking, and will continue to speak. + +SASHA. What do you mean by coming to me like this? Your melancholy has +become absolutely ridiculous! + +IVANOFF. No, this is not melancholy. It is ridiculous, is it? Yes, I am +laughing, and if it were possible for me to laugh at myself a thousand +times more bitterly I should do so and set the whole world laughing, +too, in derision. A fierce light has suddenly broken over my soul; as I +looked into the glass just now, I laughed at myself, and nearly went mad +with shame. [He laughs] Melancholy indeed! Noble grief! Uncontrollable +sorrow! It only remains for me now to begin to write verses! Shall I +mope and complain, sadden everybody I meet, confess that my manhood +has gone forever, that I have decayed, outlived my purpose, that I +have given myself up to cowardice and am bound hand and foot by this +loathsome melancholy? Shall I confess all this when the sun is shining +so brightly and when even the ants are carrying their little burdens in +peaceful self-content? No, thanks. Can I endure the knowledge that one +will look upon me as a fraud, while another pities me, a third lends +me a helping hand, or worst of all, a fourth listens reverently to my +sighs, looks upon me as a new Mahomet, and expects me to expound a new +religion every moment? No, thank God for the pride and conscience he has +left me still. On my way here I laughed at myself, and it seemed to me +that the flowers and birds were laughing mockingly too. + +SASHA. This is not anger, but madness! + +IVANOFF. You think so, do you? No, I am not mad. I see things in their +right light now, and my mind is as clear as your conscience. We love +each other, but we shall never be married. It makes no difference how I +rave and grow bitter by myself, but I have no right to drag another +down with me. My melancholy robbed my wife of the last year of her life. +Since you have been engaged to me you have forgotten how to laugh and +have aged five years. Your father, to whom life was always simple and +clear, thanks to me, is now unable to understand anybody. Wherever I go, +whether hunting or visiting, it makes no difference, I carry depression, +dulness, and discontent along with me. Wait! Don't interrupt me! I am +bitter and harsh, I know, but I am stifled with rage. I cannot speak +otherwise. I have never lied, and I never used to find fault with my +lot, but since I have begun to complain of everything, I find fault with +it involuntarily, and against my will. When I murmur at my fate every +one who hears me is seized with the same disgust of life and begins to +grumble too. And what a strange way I have of looking at things! +Exactly as if I were doing the world a favour by living in it. Oh, I am +contemptible. + +SASHA. Wait a moment. From what you have just said, it is obvious that +you are tired of your melancholy mood, and that the time has come for +you to begin life afresh. How splendid! + +IVANOFF. I don't see anything splendid about it. How can I lead a new +life? I am lost forever. It is time we both understood that. A new life +indeed! + +SASHA. Nicholas, come to your senses. How can you say you are lost? What +do you mean by such cynicism? No, I won't listen to you or talk with +you. Go to the church! + +IVANOFF. I am lost! + +SASHA. Don't talk so loud; our guests will hear you! + +IVANOFF. If an intelligent, educated, and healthy man begins to complain +of his lot and go down-hill, there is nothing for him to do but to go on +down until he reaches the bottom--there is no hope for him. Where could +my salvation come from? How can I save myself? I cannot drink, because +it makes my head ache. I never could write bad poetry. I cannot pray for +strength and see anything lofty in the languor of my soul. Laziness is +laziness and weakness weakness. I can find no other names for them. I +am lost, I am lost; there is no doubt of that. [Looking around] Some one +might come in; listen, Sasha, if you love me you must help me. Renounce +me this minute; quickly! + +SASHA. Oh, Nicholas! If you only knew how you are torturing me; what +agony I have to endure for your sake! Good thoughtful friend, judge for +yourself; can I possibly solve such a problem? Each day you put some +horrible problem before me, each one more difficult than the last. I +wanted to help you with my love, but this is martyrdom! + +IVANOFF. And when you are my wife the problems will be harder than ever. +Understand this: it is not love that is urging you to take this step, +but the obstinacy of an honest nature. You have undertaken to reawaken +the man in me and to save me in the face of every difficulty, and you +are flattered by the hope of achieving your object. You are willing to +give up now, but you are prevented from doing it by a feeling that is a +false one. Understand yourself! + +SASHA. What strange, wild reasoning! How can I give you up now? How +can I? You have no mother, or sister, or friends. You are ruined; your +estate has been destroyed; every one is speaking ill of you-- + +IVANOFF. It was foolish of me to come here; I should have done as I +wanted to-- + +Enter LEBEDIEFF. + +SASHA. [Running to her father] Father! He has rushed over here like a +madman, and is torturing me! He insists that I should refuse to marry +him; he says he doesn't want to drag me down with him. Tell him that I +won't accept his generosity. I know what I am doing! + +LEBEDIEFF. I can't understand a word of what you are saying. What +generosity? + +IVANOFF. This marriage is not going to take place. + +SASHA. It is going to take place. Papa, tell him that it is going to +take place. + +LEBEDIEFF. Wait! Wait! What objection have you to the marriage? + +IVANOFF. I have explained it all to her, but she refuses to understand +me. + +LEBEDIEFF. Don't explain it to her, but to me, and explain it so that I +may understand. God forgive you, Nicholas, you have brought a great deal +of darkness into our lives. I feel as if I were living in a museum; I +look about me and don't understand anything I see. This is torture. What +on earth can an old man like me do with you? Shall I challenge you to a +duel? + +IVANOFF. There is no need of a duel. All you need is a head on your +shoulders and a knowledge of the Russian language. + +SASHA. [Walks up and down in great excitement] This is dreadful, +dreadful! Absolutely childish. + +LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas; from your point of view what you are +doing is quite right and proper, according to the rules of psychology, +but I think this affair is a scandal and a great misfortune. I am an old +man; hear me out for the last time. This is what I want to say to you: +calm yourself; look at things simply, as every one else does; this is +a simple world. The ceiling is white; your boots are black; sugar is +sweet. You love Sasha and she loves you. If you love her, stay with +her; if you don't, leave her. We shan't blame you. It is all perfectly +simple. You are two healthy, intelligent, moral young people; thank God, +you both have food and clothing--what more do you want? What if you +have no money? That is no great misfortune--happiness is not bought with +wealth. Of course your estate is mortgaged, Nicholas, as I know, and you +have no money to pay the interest on the debt, but I am Sasha's father. +I understand. Her mother can do as she likes--if she won't give any +money, why, confound her, then she needn't, that's all! Sasha has just +said that she does not want her part of it. As for your principles, +Schopenhauer and all that, it is all folly. I have one hundred thousand +roubles in the bank. [Looking around him] Not a soul in the house knows +it; it was my grandmother's money. That shall be for you both. Take it, +give Matthew two thousand-- + +[The guests begin to collect in the ball-room]. + +IVANOFF. It is no use discussing it any more, I must act as my +conscience bids me. + +SASHA. And I shall act as my conscience bids me--you may say what you +please; I refuse to let you go! I am going to call my mother. + +LEBEDIEFF. I am utterly puzzled. + +IVANOFF. Listen to me, poor old friend. I shall not try to explain +myself to you. I shall not tell you whether I am honest or a rascal, +healthy or mad; you wouldn't understand me. I was young once; I have +been eager and sincere and intelligent. I have loved and hated and +believed as no one else has. I have worked and hoped and tilted against +windmills with the strength of ten--not sparing my strength, not knowing +what life was. I shouldered a load that broke my back. I drank, I +worked, I excited myself, my energy knew no bounds. Tell me, could I +have done otherwise? There are so few of us and so much to do, so much +to do! And see how cruelly fate has revenged herself on me, who fought +with her so bravely! I am a broken man. I am old at thirty. I have +submitted myself to old age. With a heavy head and a sluggish mind, +weary, used up, discouraged, without faith or love or an object in life, +I wander like a shadow among other men, not knowing why I am alive or +what it is that I want. Love seems to me to be folly, caresses false. +I see no sense in working or playing, and all passionate speeches seem +insipid and tiresome. So I carry my sadness with me wherever I go; a +cold weariness, a discontent, a horror of life. Yes, I am lost for ever +and ever. Before you stands a man who at thirty-five is disillusioned, +wearied by fruitless efforts, burning with shame, and mocking at his own +weakness. Oh, how my pride rebels against it all! What mad fury chokes +me! [He staggers] I am staggering--my strength is failing me. Where is +Matthew? Let him take me home. + +[Voices from the ball-room] The best man has arrived! + +Enter SHABELSKI. + +SHABELSKI. In an old worn-out coat--without gloves! How many scornful +glances I get for it! Such silly jokes and vulgar grins! Disgusting +people. + +Enter BORKIN quickly. He is carrying a bunch of flowers and is in a +dress-coat. He wears a flower in his buttonhole. + +BORKIN. This is dreadful! Where is he? [To IVANOFF] They have been +waiting for you for a long time in the church, and here you are talking +philosophy! What a funny chap you are. Don't you know you must not go +to church with the bride, but alone, with me? I shall then come back for +her. Is it possible you have not understood that? You certainly are an +extraordinary man! + +Enter LVOFF. + +LVOFF. [To IVANOFF] Ah! So you are here? [Loudly] Nicholas Ivanoff, I +denounce you to the world as a scoundrel! + +IVANOFF. [Coldly] Many thanks! + +BORKIN. [To LVOFF] Sir, this is dastardly! I challenge you to a duel! + +LVOFF. Monsieur Borkin, I count it a disgrace not only to fight with +you, but even to talk to you! Monsieur Ivanoff, however, can receive +satisfaction from me whenever he chooses! + +SHABELSKI. Sir, I shall fight you! + +SASHA. [To LVOFF] Why, oh why, have you insulted him? Gentlemen, I beg +you, let him tell me why he has insulted him. + +LVOFF. Miss Sasha, I have not insulted him without cause. I came here +as a man of honour, to open your eyes, and I beg you to listen to what I +have to tell you. + +SASHA. What can you possibly have to tell me? That you are a man of +honour? The whole world knows it. You had better tell me on your honour +whether you understand what you have done or not. You have come in +here as a man of honour and have insulted him so terribly that you have +nearly killed me. When you used to follow him like a shadow and almost +keep him from living, you were convinced that you were doing your duty +and that you were acting like a man of honour. When you interfered in +his private affairs, maligned him and criticised him; when you sent me +and whomever else you could, anonymous letters, you imagined yourself to +be an honourable man! And, thinking that that too was honourable, you, +a doctor, did not even spare his dying wife or give her a moment's peace +from your suspicions. And no matter what violence, what cruel wrong you +committed, you still imagined yourself to be an unusually honourable and +clear-sighted man. + +IVANOFF. [Laughing] This is not a wedding, but a parliament! Bravo! +Bravo! + +SASHA. [To LVOFF] Now, think it over! Do you see what sort of a man you +are, or not? Oh, the stupid, heartless people! [Takes IVANOFF by the +hand] Come away from here Nicholas! Come, father, let us go! + +IVANOFF. Where shall we go? Wait a moment. I shall soon put an end to +the whole thing. My youth is awake in me again; the former Ivanoff is +here once more. + +[He takes out a revolver.] + +SASHA. [Shrieking] I know what he wants to do! Nicholas, for God's sake! + +IVANOFF. I have been slipping down-hill long enough. Now, halt! It is +time to know what honour is. Out of the way! Thank you, Sasha! + +SASHA. [Shrieking] Nicholas! For God's sake hold him! + +IVANOFF. Let go! [He rushes aside, and shoots himself.] + +The curtain falls. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ivanoff, by Anton Checkov + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IVANOFF *** + +***** This file should be named 1755-8.txt or 1755-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/7/5/1755/ + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ivanoff + A Play + +Author: Anton Checkov + +Release Date: November 23, 2008 [EBook #1755] +Last Updated: November 26, 2012 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IVANOFF *** + + + + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer, and David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + IVANOFF + </h1> + <h2> + A PLAY + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h3> + By Anton Checkov + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + Contents + </h3> + <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto"> + <tr> + <td> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> CHARACTERS </a> + </p> + <br /> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> <b>IVANOFF</b> </a> + </p> + <br /> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> ACT I </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> ACT II </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> ACT III </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> ACT IV </a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + CHARACTERS + </h2> + <p> + NICHOLAS IVANOFF, perpetual member of the Council of Peasant Affairs + </p> + <p> + ANNA, his wife. Nee Sarah Abramson + </p> + <p> + MATTHEW SHABELSKI, a count, uncle of Ivanoff + </p> + <p> + PAUL LEBEDIEFF, President of the Board of the Zemstvo + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA, his wife + </p> + <p> + SASHA, their daughter, twenty years old + </p> + <p> + LVOFF, a young government doctor + </p> + <p> + MARTHA BABAKINA, a young widow, owner of an estate and daughter of a rich + merchant + </p> + <p> + KOSICH, an exciseman + </p> + <p> + MICHAEL BORKIN, a distant relative of Ivanoff, and manager of his estate + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, an old woman + </p> + <p> + GEORGE, lives with the Lebedieffs + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST SECOND GUEST THIRD GUEST FOURTH GUEST + </p> + <p> + PETER, a servant of Ivanoff + </p> + <p> + GABRIEL, a servant of Lebedieff + </p> + <p> + GUESTS OF BOTH SEXES + </p> + <p> + The play takes place in one of the provinces of central Russia + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + IVANOFF + </h1> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <div class="play"> + <h2> + ACT I + </h2> + <p> + The garden of IVANOFF'S country place. On the left is a terrace and the + facade of the house. One window is open. Below the terrace is a broad + semicircular lawn, from which paths lead to right and left into a + garden. On the right are several garden benches and tables. A lamp is + burning on one of the tables. It is evening. As the curtain rises sounds + of the piano and violoncello are heard. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF is sitting at a table reading. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN, in top-boots and carrying a gun, comes in from the rear of the + garden. He is a little tipsy. As he sees IVANOFF he comes toward him on + tiptoe, and when he comes opposite him he stops and points the gun at + his face. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Catches sight of BORKIN. Shudders and jumps to his feet] + Misha! What are you doing? You frightened me! I can't stand your stupid + jokes when I am so nervous as this. And having frightened me, you laugh! + [He sits down.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Laughing loudly] There, I am sorry, really. I won't do it + again. Indeed I won't. [Take off his cap] How hot it is! Just think, my + dear boy, I have covered twelve miles in the last three hours. I am worn + out. Just feel how my heart is beating. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Goes on reading] Oh, very well. I shall feel it later! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. No, feel it now. [He takes IVANOFF'S hand and presses it against + his breast] Can you feel it thumping? That means that it is weak and + that I may die suddenly at any moment. Would you be sorry if I died? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I am reading now. I shall attend to you later. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. No, seriously, would you be sorry if I died? Nicholas, would you + be sorry if I died? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Leave me alone! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Come, tell me if you would be sorry or not. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I am sorry that you smell so of vodka, Misha, it is disgusting. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Do I smell of vodka? How strange! And yet, it is not so strange + after all. I met the magistrate on the road, and I must admit that we + did drink about eight glasses together. Strictly speaking, of course, + drinking is very harmful. Listen, it is harmful, isn't it? Is it? Is it? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. This is unendurable! Let me warn you, Misha, that you are going + too far. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Well, well, excuse me. Sit here by yourself then, for heaven's + sake, if it amuses you. [Gets up and goes away] What extraordinary + people one meets in the world. They won't even allow themselves to be + spoken to. [He comes back] Oh, yes, I nearly forgot. Please let me have + eighty-two roubles. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Why do you want eighty-two roubles? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. To pay the workmen to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I haven't the money. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Many thanks. [Angrily] So you haven't the money! And yet the + workmen must be paid, mustn't they? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I don't know. Wait till my salary comes in on the first of the + month. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. How is it possible to discuss anything with a man like you? + Can't you understand that the workmen are coming to-morrow morning and + not on the first of the month? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. How can I help it? I'll be hanged if I can do anything about it + now. And what do you mean by this irritating way you have of pestering + me whenever I am trying to read or write or—— + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Must the workmen be paid or not, I ask you? But, good gracious! + What is the use of talking to you! [Waves his hand] Do you think because + you own an estate you can command the whole world? With your two + thousand acres and your empty pockets you are like a man who has a + cellar full of wine and no corkscrew. I have sold the oats as they stand + in the field. Yes, sir! And to-morrow I shall sell the rye and the + carriage horses. [He stamps up and down] Do you think I am going to + stand upon ceremony with you? Certainly not! I am not that kind of a + man! + </p> + <p> + ANNA appears at the open window. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Whose voice did I hear just now? Was it yours, Misha? Why are you + stamping up and down? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Anybody who had anything to do with your Nicholas would stamp up + and down. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Listen, Misha! Please have some hay carried onto the croquet lawn. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Waves his hand] Leave me alone, please! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Oh, what manners! They are not becoming to you at all. If you want + to be liked by women you must never let them see you when you are angry + or obstinate. [To her husband] Nicholas, let us go and play on the lawn + in the hay! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Don't you know it is bad for you to stand at the open window, + Annie? [Calls] Shut the window, Uncle! + </p> + <p> + [The window is shut from the inside.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Don't forget that the interest on the money you owe Lebedieff + must be paid in two days. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I haven't forgotten it. I am going over to see Lebedieff today + and shall ask him to wait. + </p> + <p> + [He looks at his watch.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. When are you going? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. At once. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Wait! Wait! Isn't this Sasha's birthday? So it is! The idea of + my forgetting it. What a memory I have. [Jumps about] I shall go with + you! [Sings] I shall go, I shall go! Nicholas, old man, you are the joy + of my life. If you were not always so nervous and cross and gloomy, you + and I could do great things together. I would do anything for you. Shall + I marry Martha Babakina and give you half her fortune? That is, not + half, either, but all—take it all! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Enough of this nonsense! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. No, seriously, shan't I marry Martha and halve the money with + you? But no, why should I propose it? How can you understand? [Angrily] + You say to me: "Stop talking nonsense!" You are a good man and a clever + one, but you haven't any red blood in your veins or any—well, + enthusiasm. Why, if you wanted to, you and I could cut a dash together + that would shame the devil himself. If you were a normal man instead of + a morbid hypochondriac we would have a million in a year. For instance, + if I had twenty-three hundred roubles now I could make twenty thousand + in two weeks. You don't believe me? You think it is all nonsense? No, it + isn't nonsense. Give me twenty-three hundred roubles and let me try. + Ofsianoff is selling a strip of land across the river for that price. If + we buy this, both banks will be ours, and we shall have the right to + build a dam across the river. Isn't that so? We can say that we intend + to build a mill, and when the people on the river below us hear that we + mean to dam the river they will, of course, object violently and we + shall say: If you don't want a dam here you will have to pay to get us + away. Do you see the result? The factory would give us five thousand + roubles, Korolkoff three thousand, the monastery five thousand more— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. All that is simply idiotic, Misha. If you don't want me to lose + my temper you must keep your schemes to yourself. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Sits down at the table] Of course! I knew how it would be! You + never will act for yourself, and you tie my hands so that I am helpless. + </p> + <p> + Enter SHABELSKI and LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. The only difference between lawyers and doctors is that + lawyers simply rob you, whereas doctors both rob you and kill you. I am + not referring to any one present. [Sits down on the bench] They are all + frauds and swindlers. Perhaps in Arcadia you might find an exception to + the general rule and yet—I have treated thousands of sick people + myself in my life, and I have never met a doctor who did not seem to me + to be an unmistakable scoundrel. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [To IVANOFF] Yes, you tie my hands and never do anything for + yourself, and that is why you have no money. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. As I said before, I am not referring to any one here at + present; there may be exceptions though, after all—[He yawns.] + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Shuts his book] What have you to tell me, doctor? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Looks toward the window] Exactly what I said this morning: she + must go to the Crimea at once. [Walks up and down.] + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Bursts out laughing] To the Crimea! Why don't you and I set + up as doctors, Misha? Then, if some Madame Angot or Ophelia finds the + world tiresome and begins to cough and be consumptive, all we shall have + to do will be to write out a prescription according to the laws of + medicine: that is, first, we shall order her a young doctor, and then a + journey to the Crimea. There some fascinating young Tartar—— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Interrupting] Oh, don't be coarse! [To LVOFF] It takes money + to go to the Crimea, and even if I could afford it, you know she has + refused to go. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Yes, she has. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Look here, doctor, is Anna really so ill that she absolutely + must go to the Crimea? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Looking toward the window] Yes, she has consumption. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Whew! How sad! I have seen in her face for some time that she + could not last much longer. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Can't you speak quietly? She can hear everything you say. [A + pause.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Sighing] The life of man is like a flower, blooming so gaily in + a field. Then, along comes a goat, he eats it, and the flower is gone! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Oh, nonsense, nonsense. [Yawning] Everything is a fraud and a + swindle. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Gentlemen, I have been trying to tell Nicholas how he can make + some money, and have submitted a brilliant plan to him, but my seed, as + usual, has fallen on barren soil. Look what a sight he is now: dull, + cross, bored, peevish—— + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Gets up and stretches himself] You are always inventing + schemes for everybody, you clever fellow, and telling them how to live; + can't you tell me something? Give me some good advice, you ingenious + young man. Show me a good move to make. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Getting up] I am going to have a swim. Goodbye, gentlemen. [To + Shabelski] There are at least twenty good moves you could make. If I + were you I should have twenty thousand roubles in a week. + </p> + <p> + [He goes out; SHABELSKI follows him.] + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. How would you do it? Come, explain. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. There is nothing to explain, it is so simple. [Coming back] + Nicholas, give me a rouble. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF silently hands him the money + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Thanks. Shabelski, you still hold some trump cards. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI follows him out. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Well, what are they? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. If I were you I should have thirty thousand roubles and more in + a week. [They go out together.] + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [After a pause] Useless people, useless talk, and the necessity + of answering stupid questions, have wearied me so, doctor, that I am + ill. I have become so irritable and bitter that I don't know myself. My + head aches for days at a time. I hear a ringing in my ears, I can't + sleep, and yet there is no escape from it all, absolutely none. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Ivanoff, I have something serious to speak to you about. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What is it? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. It is about your wife. She refuses to go to the Crimea alone, but + she would go with you. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Thoughtfully] It would cost a great deal for us both to go, + and besides, I could not get leave to be away for so long. I have had + one holiday already this year. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Very well, let us admit that. Now to proceed. The best cure for + consumption is absolute peace of mind, and your wife has none whatever. + She is forever excited by your behaviour to her. Forgive me, I am + excited and am going to speak frankly. Your treatment of her is killing + her. [A pause] Ivanoff, let me believe better things of you. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What you say is true, true. I must be terribly guilty, but my + mind is confused. My will seems to be paralysed by a kind of stupor; I + can't understand myself or any one else. [Looks toward the window] Come, + let us take a walk, we might be overheard here. [They get up] My dear + friend, you should hear the whole story from the beginning if it were + not so long and complicated that to tell it would take all night. [They + walk up and down] Anna is a splendid, an exceptional woman. She has left + her faith, her parents and her fortune for my sake. If I should demand a + hundred other sacrifices, she would consent to every one without the + quiver of an eyelid. Well, I am not a remarkable man in any way, and + have sacrificed nothing. However, the story is a long one. In short, the + whole point is, my dear doctor—[Confused] that I married her for + love and promised to love her forever, and now after five years she + loves me still and I—[He waves his hand] Now, when you tell me she + is dying, I feel neither love nor pity, only a sort of loneliness and + weariness. To all appearances this must seem horrible, and I cannot + understand myself what is happening to me. [They go out.] + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI comes in. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Laughing] Upon my word, that man is no scoundrel, but a + great thinker, a master-mind. He deserves a memorial. He is the essence + of modern ingenuity, and combines in himself alone the genius of the + lawyer, the doctor, and the financier. [He sits down on the lowest step + of the terrace] And yet he has never finished a course of studies in any + college; that is so surprising. What an ideal scoundrel he would have + made if he had acquired a little culture and mastered the sciences! "You + could make twenty thousand roubles in a week," he said. "You still hold + the ace of trumps: it is your title." [Laughing] He said I might get a + rich girl to marry me for it! [ANNA opens the window and looks down] + "Let me make a match between you and Martha," says he. Who is this + Martha? It must be that Balabalkina—Babakalkina woman, the one + that looks like a laundress. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Is that you, Count? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. What do you want? + </p> + <p> + ANNA laughs. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [With a Jewish accent] Vy do you laugh? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I was thinking of something you said at dinner, do you remember? + How was it—a forgiven thief, a doctored horse. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. A forgiven thief, a doctored horse, and a Christianised Jew + are all worth the same price. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [Laughing] You can't even repeat the simplest saying without + ill-nature. You are a most malicious old man. [Seriously] Seriously, + Count you are extremely disagreeable, and very tiresome and painful to + live with. You are always grumbling and growling, and everybody to you + is a blackguard and a scoundrel. Tell me honestly, Count, have you ever + spoken well of any one? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Is this an inquisition? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. We have lived under this same roof now for five years, and I have + never heard you speak kindly of people, or without bitterness and + derision. What harm has the world done to you? Is it possible that you + consider yourself better than any one else? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Not at all. I think we are all of us scoundrels and + hypocrites. I myself am a degraded old man, and as useless as a cast-off + shoe. I abuse myself as much as any one else. I was rich once, and free, + and happy at times, but now I am a dependent, an object of charity, a + joke to the world. When I am at last exasperated and defy them, they + answer me with a laugh. When I laugh, they shake their heads sadly and + say, "The old man has gone mad." But oftenest of all I am unheard and + unnoticed by every one. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [Quietly] Screaming again. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Who is screaming? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. The owl. It screams every evening. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Let it scream. Things are as bad as they can be already. + [Stretches himself] Alas, my dear Sarah! If I could only win a thousand + or two roubles, I should soon show you what I could do. I wish you could + see me! I should get away out of this hole, and leave the bread of + charity, and should not show my nose here again until the last judgment + day. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. What would you do if you were to win so much money? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Thoughtfully] First I would go to Moscow to hear the Gipsies + play, and then—then I should fly to Paris and take an apartment + and go to the Russian Church. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. And what else? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. I would go and sit on my wife's grave for days and days and + think. I would sit there until I died. My wife is buried in Paris. [A + pause.] + </p> + <p> + ANNA. How terribly dull this is! Shall we play a duet? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. As you like. Go and get the music ready. [ANNA goes out.] + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF and LVOFF appear in one of the paths. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. My dear friend, you left college last year, and you are still + young and brave. Being thirty-five years old I have the right to advise + you. Don't marry a Jewess or a bluestocking or a woman who is queer in + any way. Choose some nice, common-place girl without any strange and + startling points in her character. Plan your life for quiet; the greyer + and more monotonous you can make the background, the better. My dear + boy, do not try to fight alone against thousands; do not tilt with + windmills; do not dash yourself against the rocks. And, above all, may + you be spared the so-called rational life, all wild theories and + impassioned talk. Everything is in the hands of God, so shut yourself up + in your shell and do your best. That is the pleasant, honest, healthy + way to live. But the life I have chosen has been so tiring, oh, so + tiring! So full of mistakes, of injustice and stupidity! [Catches sight + of SHABELSKI, and speaks angrily] There you are again, Uncle, always + under foot, never letting one have a moment's quiet talk! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [In a tearful voice] Is there no refuge anywhere for a poor + old devil like me? [He jumps up and runs into the house.] + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Now I have offended him! Yes, my nerves have certainly gone to + pieces. I must do something about it, I must—— + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Excitedly] Ivanoff, I have heard all you have to say and—and—I + am going to speak frankly. You have shown me in your voice and manner, + as well as in your words, the most heartless egotism and pitiless + cruelty. Your nearest friend is dying simply because she is near you, + her days are numbered, and you can feel such indifference that you go + about giving advice and analysing your feelings. I cannot say all I + should like to; I have not the gift of words, but—but I can at + least say that you are deeply antipathetic to me. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I suppose I am. As an onlooker, of course you see me more + clearly than I see myself, and your judgment of me is probably right. No + doubt I am terribly guilty. [Listens] I think I hear the carriage + coming. I must get ready to go. [He goes toward the house and then + stops] You dislike me, doctor, and you don't conceal it. Your sincerity + does you credit. [He goes into the house.] + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Alone] What a confoundedly disagreeable character! I have let + another opportunity slip without speaking to him as I meant to, but I + simply cannot talk calmly to that man. The moment I open my mouth to + speak I feel such a commotion and suffocation here [He puts his hand on + his breast] that my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. Oh, I loathe + that Tartuffe, that unmitigated rascal, with all my heart! There he is, + preparing to go driving in spite of the entreaties of his unfortunate + wife, who adores him and whose only happiness is his presence. She + implores him to spend at least one evening with her, and he cannot even + do that. Why, he might shoot himself in despair if he had to stay at + home! Poor fellow, what he wants are new fields for his villainous + schemes. Oh, I know why you go to Lebedieff's every evening, Ivanoff! I + know. + </p> + <p> + Enter IVANOFF, in hat and coat, ANNA and SHABELSKI + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Look here, Nicholas, this is simply barbarous You go away + every evening and leave us here alone, and we get so bored that we have + to go to bed at eight o'clock. It is a scandal, and no decent way of + living. Why can you go driving if we can't? Why? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Let him go if he wants to. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. How can a sick woman like you go anywhere? You know you have a + cough and must not go out after sunset. Ask the doctor here. You are no + child, Annie, you must be reasonable. And as for you, what would you do + with yourself over there? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. I am ready to go anywhere: into the jaws of a crocodile, or + even into the jaws of hell, so long as I don't have to stay here. I am + horribly bored. I am stupefied by this dullness. Every one here is tired + of me. You leave me at home to entertain Anna, but I feel more like + scratching and biting her. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Leave him alone. Let him go if he enjoys + himself there. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What does this mean, Annie? You know I am not going for + pleasure. I must see Lebedieff about the money I owe him. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I don't see why you need justify yourself to me. Go ahead! Who is + keeping you? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Heavens! Don't let us bite one another's heads off. Is that + really unavoidable? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Tearfully] Nicholas, my dear boy, do please take me with + you. I might possibly be amused a little by the sight of all the fools + and scoundrels I should see there. You know I haven't been off this + place since Easter. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Exasperated] Oh, very well! Come along then! How tiresome you + all are! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. I may go? Oh, thank you! [Takes him gaily by the arm and + leads him aside] May I wear your straw hat? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. You may, only hurry, please. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI runs into the house. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. How tired I am of you all! But no, what am I saying? Annie, my + manner to you is insufferable, and it never used to be. Well, good-bye, + Annie. I shall be back by one. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Nicholas! My dear husband, stay at home to-night! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Excitedly] Darling, sweetheart, my dear, unhappy one, I + implore you to let me leave home in the evenings. I know it is cruel and + unjust to ask this, but let me do you this injustice. It is such torture + for me to stay. As soon as the sun goes down my soul is overwhelmed by + the most horrible despair. Don't ask me why; I don't know; I swear I + don't. This dreadful melancholy torments me here, it drives me to the + Lebedieff's and there it grows worse than ever. I rush home; it still + pursues me; and so I am tortured all through the night. It is breaking + my heart. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Nicholas, won't you stay? We will talk together as we used to. We + will have supper together and read afterward. The old grumbler and I + have learned so many duets to play to you. [She kisses him. Then, after + a pause] I can't understand you any more. This has been going on for a + year now. What has changed you so? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I don't know. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. And why don't you want me to go driving with you in the evening? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. As you insist on knowing, I shall have to tell you. It is a + little cruel, but you had best understand. When this melancholy fit is + on me I begin to dislike you, Annie, and at such times I must escape + from you. In short, I simply have to leave this house. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Oh, you are sad, are you? I can understand that! Nicholas, let me + tell you something: won't you try to sing and laugh and scold as you + used to? Stay here, and we will drink some liqueur together, and laugh, + and chase away this sadness of yours in no time. Shall I sing to you? Or + shall we sit in your study in the twilight as we used to, while you tell + me about your sadness? I can read such suffering in your eyes! Let me + look into them and weep, and our hearts will both be lighter. [She + laughs and cries at once] Or is it really true that the flowers return + with every spring, but lost happiness never returns? Oh, is it? Well, go + then, go! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Pray for me, Annie! [He goes; then stops and thinks for a + moment] No, I can't do it. [IVANOFF goes out.] + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Yes, go, go—[Sits down at the table.] + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Walking up and down] Make this a rule, Madam: as soon as the sun + goes down you must go indoors and not come out again until morning. The + damp evening air is bad for you. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Yes, sir! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. What do you mean by "Yes, sir"? I am speaking seriously. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. But I don't want to be serious. [She coughs.] + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. There now, you see, you are coughing already. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI comes out of the house in his hat and coat. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Where is Nicholas? Is the carriage here yet? [Goes quickly to + ANNA and kisses her hand] Good-night, my darling! [Makes a face and + speaks with a Jewish accent] I beg your bardon! [He goes quickly out.] + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Idiot! + </p> + <p> + A pause; the sounds of a concertina are heard in the distance. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Oh, how lonely it is! The coachman and the cook are having a + little ball in there by themselves, and I—I am, as it were, + abandoned. Why are you walking about, Doctor? Come and sit down here. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. I can't sit down. + </p> + <p> + [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + ANNA. They are playing "The Sparrow" in the kitchen. [She sings] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you? + On the mountain drinking dew." +</pre> + <p> + [A pause] Are your father and mother living, Doctor? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. My mother is living; my father is dead. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Do you miss your mother very much? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. I am too busy to miss any one. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [Laughing] The flowers return with every spring, but lost + happiness never returns. I wonder who taught me that? I think it was + Nicholas himself. [Listens] The owl is hooting again. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Well, let it hoot. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I have begun to think, Doctor, that fate has cheated me. Other + people who, perhaps, are no better than I am are happy and have not had + to pay for their happiness. But I have paid for it all, every moment of + it, and such a price! Why should I have to pay so terribly? Dear friend, + you are all too considerate and gentle with me to tell me the truth; but + do you think I don't know what is the matter with me? I know perfectly + well. However, this isn't a pleasant subject—[With a Jewish + accent] "I beg your bardon!" Can you tell funny stories? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. No, I can't. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Nicholas can. I am beginning to be surprised, too, at the + injustice of people. Why do they return hatred for love, and answer + truth with lies? Can you tell me how much longer I shall be hated by my + mother and father? They live fifty miles away, and yet I can feel their + hatred day and night, even in my sleep. And how do you account for the + sadness of Nicholas? He says that he only dislikes me in the evening, + when the fit is on him. I understand that, and can tolerate it, but what + if he should come to dislike me altogether? Of course that is + impossible, and yet—no, no, I mustn't even imagine such a thing. + [Sings] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you?" +</pre> + <p> + [She shudders] What fearful thoughts I have! You are not married, + Doctor; there are many things that you cannot understand. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. You say you are surprised, but—but it is you who surprise + me. Tell me, explain to me how you, an honest and intelligent woman, + almost a saint, could allow yourself to be so basely deceived and + dragged into this den of bears? Why are you here? What have you in + common with such a cold and heartless—but enough of your husband! + What have you in common with these wicked and vulgar surroundings? With + that eternal grumbler, the crazy and decrepit Count? With that swindler, + that prince of rascals, Misha, with his fool's face? Tell me, I say, how + did you get here? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [laughing] That is what he used to say, long ago, oh, exactly! + Only his eyes are larger than yours, and when he was excited they used + to shine like coals—go on, go on! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Gets up and waves his hand] There is nothing more to say. Go + into the house. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. You say that Nicholas is not what he should be, that his faults + are so and so. How can you possibly understand him? How can you learn to + know any one in six months? He is a wonderful man, Doctor, and I am + sorry you could not have known him as he was two or three years ago. He + is depressed and silent now, and broods all day without doing anything, + but he was splendid then. I fell in love with him at first sight. + [Laughing] I gave one look and was caught like a mouse in a trap! So + when he asked me to go with him I cut every tie that bound me to my old + life as one snips the withered leaves from a plant. But things are + different now. Now he goes to the Lebedieff's to amuse himself with + other women, and I sit here in the garden and listen to the owls. [The + WATCHMAN'S rattle is heard] Tell me, Doctor, have you any brothers and + sisters? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. No. + </p> + <p> + ANNA sobs. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. What is it? What is the matter? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I can't stand it, Doctor, I must go. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Where? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. To him. I am going. Have the horses harnessed. [She runs into the + house.] + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. No, I certainly cannot go on treating any one under these + conditions. I not only have to do it for nothing, but I am forced to + endure this agony of mind besides. No, no, I can't stand it. I have had + enough of it. [He goes into the house.] + </p> + <p> + The curtain falls. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT II + </h2> + <p> + The drawing-room of LEBEDIEFFÕS house. In the centre is a door leading + into a garden. Doors open out of the room to the right and left. The + room is furnished with valuable old furniture, which is carefully + protected by linen covers. The walls are hung with pictures. The room is + lighted by candelabra. ZINAIDA is sitting on a sofa; the elderly guests + are sitting in arm-chairs on either hand. The young guests are sitting + about the room on small chairs. KOSICH, AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, GEORGE, and + others are playing cards in the background. GABRIEL is standing near the + door on the right. The maid is passing sweetmeats about on a tray. + During the entire act guests come and go from the garden, through the + room, out of the door on the left, and back again. Enter MARTHA through + the door on the right. She goes toward ZINAIDA. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. [Gaily] My dearest Martha! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. How do you do, Zinaida? Let me congratulate you on your + daughter's birthday. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Thank you, my dear; I am delighted to see you. How are you? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Very well indeed, thank you. [She sits down on the sofa] Good + evening, young people! + </p> + <p> + The younger guests get up and bow. + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. [Laughing] Young people indeed! Do you call yourself an old + person? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. [Sighing] How can I make any pretense to youth now? + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. What nonsense! The fact that you are a widow means nothing. + You could beat any pretty girl you chose at a canter. + </p> + <p> + GABRIEL brings MARTHA some tea. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Why do you bring the tea in like that? Go and fetch some jam to + eat with it! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. No thank you; none for me, don't trouble yourself. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. [To MARTHA] Did you come through Mushkine on your way here? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. No, I came by way of Spassk. The road is better that way. + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. Yes, so it is. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. Two in spades. + </p> + <p> + GEORGE. Pass. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Pass. + </p> + <p> + SECOND GUEST. Pass. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. The price of lottery tickets has gone up again, my dear. I have + never known such a state of affairs. The first issue is already worth + two hundred and seventy and the second nearly two hundred and fifty. + This has never happened before. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. How fortunate for those who have a great many tickets! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Don't say that, dear; even when the price of tickets is high it + does not pay to put one's capital into them. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Quite true, and yet, my dear, one never can tell what may + happen. Providence is sometimes kind. + </p> + <p> + THIRD GUEST. My impression is, ladies, that at present capital is + exceedingly unproductive. Shares pay very small dividends, and + speculating is exceedingly dangerous. As I understand it, the capitalist + now finds himself in a more critical position than the man who—— + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Quite right. + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST yawns. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. How dare you yawn in the presence of ladies? + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. I beg your pardon! It was quite an accident. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA gets up and goes out through the door on the right. + </p> + <p> + GEORGE. Two in hearts. + </p> + <p> + SECOND GUEST. Pass. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. Pass. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. [Aside] Heavens! This is deadly! I shall die of ennui. + </p> + <p> + Enter ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF through the door on the right. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Why do you go off by yourself like a prima donna? Come and sit + with our guests! + </p> + <p> + [She sits down in her former place.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Yawning] Oh, dear, our sins are heavy! [He catches sight of + MARTHA] Why, there is my little sugar-plum! How is your most esteemed + highness? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Very well, thank you. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Splendid, splendid! [He sits down in an armchair] Quite right—Oh, + Gabriel! + </p> + <p> + GABRIEL brings him a glass of vodka and a tumbler of water. He empties + the glass of vodka and sips the water. + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. Good health to you! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Good health is too much to ask. I am content to keep death + from the door. [To his wife] Where is the heroine of this occasion, + Zuzu? + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [In a plaintive voice] Look here, why haven't we taken any + tricks yet? [He jumps up] Yes, why have we lost this game entirely, + confound it? + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. [Jumps up angrily] Because, friend, you don't know how to play + it, and have no right to be sitting here at all. What right had you to + lead from another suit? Haven't you the ace left? [They both leave the + table and run forward.] + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [In a tearful voice] Ladies and gentlemen, let me explain! I had + the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the ace of spades and one, + just one, little heart, do you understand? Well, she, bad luck to her, + she couldn't make a little slam. I said one in no-trumps—— * + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * The game played is vint, the national card-game of Russia + and the direct ancestor of auction bridge, with which it is + almost identical. [translator's note] +</pre> + <p> + AVDOTIA. [Interrupting him] No, I said one in no-trumps; you said two in + no-trumps—— + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. This is unbearable! Allow me—you had—I had—you + had—[To LEBEDIEFF] But you shall decide it, Paul: I had the ace, + king, queen, and eight of diamonds—— + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Puts his fingers into his ears] Stop, for heaven's sake, + stop! + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. [Yelling] I said no-trumps, and not he! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [Furiously] I'll be damned if I ever sit down to another game of + cards with that old cat! + </p> + <p> + He rushes into the garden. The SECOND GUEST follows him. GEORGE is left + alone at the table. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Whew! He makes my blood boil! Old cat, indeed! You're an old + cat yourself! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. How angry you are, aunty! + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. [Sees MARTHA and claps her hands] Are you here, my darling? My + beauty! And was I blind as a bat, and didn't see you? Darling child! + [She kisses her and sits down beside her] How happy this makes me! Let + me feast my eyes on you, my milk-white swan! Oh, oh, you have bewitched + me! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Why don't you find her a husband instead of singing her + praises? + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. He shall be found. I shall not go to my grave before I have + found a husband for her, and one for Sasha too. I shall not go to my + grave—[She sighs] But where to find these husbands nowadays? There + sit some possible bridegrooms now, huddled together like a lot of + half-drowned rats! + </p> + <p> + THIRD GUEST. A most unfortunate comparison! It is my belief, ladies, + that if the young men of our day prefer to remain single, the fault lies + not with them, but with the existing, social conditions! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Come, enough of that! Don't give us any mo re philosophy; I + don't like it! + </p> + <p> + Enter SASHA. She goes up to her father. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. How can you endure the stuffy air of this room when the weather + is so beautiful? + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. My dear Sasha, don't you see that Martha is here? + </p> + <p> + SASHA. I beg your pardon. + </p> + <p> + [She goes up to MARTHA and shakes hands.] + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Yes, here I am, my dear little Sasha, and proud to congratulate + you. [They kiss each other] Many happy returns of the day, dear! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Thank you! [She goes and sits down by her father.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. As you were saying, Avdotia Nazarovna, husbands are hard to + find. I don't want to be rude, but I must say that the young men of the + present are a dull and poky lot, poor fellows! They can't dance or talk + or drink as they should do. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Oh, as far as drinking goes, they are all experts. Just give + them—give them—— + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Simply to drink is no art. A horse can drink. No, it must be + done in the right way. In my young days we used to sit and cudgel our + brains all day over our lessons, but as soon as evening came we would + fly off on some spree and keep it up till dawn. How we used to dance and + flirt, and drink, too! Or sometimes we would sit and chatter and discuss + everything under the sun until we almost wagged our tongues off. But now—[He + waves his hand] Boys are a puzzle to me. They are not willing either to + give a candle to God or a pitchfork to the devil! There is only one + young fellow in the country who is worth a penny, and he is married. + [Sighs] They say, too, that he is going crazy. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Who is he? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Nicholas Ivanoff. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Yes, he is a fine fellow, only [Makes a face] he is very + unhappy. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. How could he be otherwise, poor boy! [She sighs] He made such a + bad mistake. When he married that Jewess of his he thought of course + that her parents would give away whole mountains of gold with her, but, + on the contrary, on the day she became a Christian they disowned her, + and Ivanoff has never seen a penny of the money. He has repented of his + folly now, but it is too late. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Mother, that is not true! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. How can you say it is not true, Sasha, when we all know it to be + a fact? Why did he have to marry a Jewess? He must have had some reason + for doing it. Are Russian girls so scarce? No, he made a mistake, poor + fellow, a sad mistake. [Excitedly] And what on earth can he do with her + now? Where could she go if he were to come home some day and say: "Your + parents have deceived me; leave my house at once!" Her parents wouldn't + take her back. She might find a place as a house-maid if she had ever + learned to work, which she hasn't. He worries and worries her now, but + the Count interferes. If it had not been for the Count, he would have + worried her to death long ago. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. They say he shuts her up in a cellar and stuffs her with + garlic, and she eats and eats until her very soul reeks of it. + [Laughter.] + </p> + <p> + SASHA. But, father, you know that isn't true! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What if it isn't, Sasha? Let them spin yarns if it amuses + them. [He calls] Gabriel! + </p> + <p> + GABRIEL brings him another glass of vodka and a glass of water. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. His misfortunes have almost ruined him, poor man. His affairs + are in a frightful condition. If Borkin did not take such good charge of + his estate he and his Jewess would soon be starving to death. [She + sighs] And what anxiety he has caused us! Heaven only knows how we have + suffered. Do you realise, my dear, that for three years he has owed us + nine thousand roubles? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. [Horrified] Nine thousand! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Yes, that is the sum that my dear Paul has undertaken to lend + him. He never knows to whom it is safe to lend money and to whom it is + not. I don't worry about the principal, but he ought to pay the interest + on his debt. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Hotly] Mamma, you have already discussed this subject at least a + thousand times! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. What difference does it make to you? Why should you interfere? + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What is this mania you all have for gossiping about a man who has + never done any of you any harm? Tell me, what harm has he done you? + </p> + <p> + THIRD GUEST. Let me say two words, Miss Sasha. I esteem Ivanoff, and + have always found him an honourable man, but, between ourselves, I also + consider him an adventurer. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. I congratulate you on your opinion! + </p> + <p> + THIRD GUEST. In proof of its truth, permit me to present to you the + following facts, as they were communicated to me by his secretary, or + shall I say rather, by his factotum, Borkin. Two years ago, at the time + of the cattle plague, he bought some cattle and had them insured— + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Yes, I remember hearing' of that. + </p> + <p> + THIRD GUEST. He had them insured, as you understand, and then inoculated + them with the disease and claimed the insurance. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Oh, what nonsense, nonsense, nonsense! No one bought or + inoculated any cattle! The story was invented by Borkin, who then went + about boasting of his clever plan. Ivanoff would not forgive Borkin for + two weeks after he heard of it. He is only guilty of a weak character + and too great faith in humanity. He can't make up his mind to get rid of + that Borkin, and so all his possessions have been tricked and stolen + from him. Every one who has had anything to do with Ivanoff has taken + advantage of his generosity to grow rich. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Sasha, you little firebrand, that will do! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Why do you all talk like this? This eternal subject of Ivanoff, + Ivanoff, and always Ivanoff has grown insufferable, and yet you never + speak of anything else. [She goes toward the door, then stops and comes + back] I am surprised, [To the young men] and utterly astonished at your + patience, young men! How can you sit there like that? Aren't you bored? + Why, the very air is as dull as ditchwater! Do, for heaven's sake say + something; try to amuse the girls a little, move about! Or if you can't + talk of anything except Ivanoff, you might laugh or sing or dance—— + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] That's right, Sasha! Give them a good scolding. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Look here, will you do me a favour? If you refuse to dance or + sing or laugh, if all that is tedious, then let me beg you, implore you, + to summon all your powers, if only for this once, and make one witty or + clever remark. Let it be as impertinent and malicious as you like, so + long as it is funny and original. Won't you perform this miracle, just + once, to surprise us and make us laugh? Or else you might think of some + little thing which you could all do together, something to make you stir + about. Let the girls admire you for once in their lives! Listen to me! I + suppose you want them to like you? Then why don't try to make them do + it? Oh, dear! There is something wrong with you all! You are a lot of + sleepy stick-in-the-muds! I have told you so a thousand times and shall + always go on repeating it; there is something wrong with every one of + you; something wrong, wrong, wrong! + </p> + <p> + Enter IVANOFF and SHABELSKI through the door on the right. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Who is making a speech here? Is it you, Sasha? [He laughs and + shakes hands with her] Many happy returns of the day, my dear child. May + you live as long as possible in this life, but never be born again! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. [Joyfully] My dear Count! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Who can this be? Not you, Count? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Sees ZINAIDA and MARTHA sitting side by side] Two gold mines + side by side! What a pleasant picture it makes! [He shakes hands with + ZINAIDA] Good evening, Zuzu! [Shakes hands with MARTHA] Good evening, + Birdie! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. I am charmed to see you, Count. You are a rare visitor here + now. [Calls] Gabriel, bring some tea! Please sit down. + </p> + <p> + She gets up and goes to the door and back, evidently much preoccupied. + SASHA sits down in her former place. IVANOFF silently shakes hands with + every one. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] What miracle has brought you here? You have + given us a great surprise. Why, Count, you're a rascal, you haven't been + treating us right at all. [Leads him forward by the hand] Tell me, why + don't you ever come to see us now? Are you offended? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. How can I get here to see you? Astride a broomstick? I have + no horses of my own, and Nicholas won't take me with him when he goes + out. He says I must stay at home to amuse Sarah. Send your horses for me + and I shall come with pleasure. + </p> + <p> + LEBE DIEFF. [With a wave of the hand] Oh, that is easy to say! But Zuzu + would rather have a fit than lend the horses to any one. My dear, dear + old friend, you are more to me than any one I know! You and I are + survivors of those good old days that are gone forever, and you alone + bring back to my mind the love and longings of my lost youth. Of course + I am only joking, and yet, do you know, I am almost in tears? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Stop, stop! You smell like the air of a wine cellar. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Dear friend, you cannot imagine how lonely I am without my + old companions! I could hang myself! [Whispers] Zuzu has frightened all + the decent men away with her stingy ways, and now we have only this + riff-raff, as you see: Tom, Dick, and Harry. However, drink your tea. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. [Anxiously, to GABRIEL] Don't bring it in like that! Go fetch + some jam to eat with it! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Didn't I tell you so? [To + LEBEDIEFF] I bet him driving over, that as soon as we arrived Zuzu would + want to feed us with jam! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Still joking, Count! [She sits down.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. She made twenty jars of it this year, and how else do you + expect her to get rid of it? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Sits down near the table] Are you still adding to the hoard, + Zuzu? You will soon have a million, eh? + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. [Sighing] I know it seems as if no one could be richer than we, + but where do they think the money comes from? It is all gossip. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, we all know that! We know how badly you play your + cards! Tell me, Paul, honestly, have you saved up a million yet? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I don't know. Ask Zuzu. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [To MARTHA] And my plump little Birdie here will soon have a + million too! She is getting prettier and plumper not only every day, but + every hour. That means she has a nice little fortune. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Thank you very much, your highness, but I don't like such jokes. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. My dear little gold mine, do you call that a joke? It was a + wail of the soul, a cry from the heart, that burst through my lips. My + love for you and Zuzu is immense. [Gaily] Oh, rapture! Oh, bliss! I + cannot look at you two without a madly beating heart! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. You are still the same, Count. [To GEORGE] Put out the candles + please, George. [GEORGE gives a start. He puts out the candles and sits + down again] How is your wife, Nicholas? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. She is very ill. The doctor said to-day that she certainly had + consumption. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Really? Oh, how sad! [She sighs] And we are all so fond of her! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. What trash you all talk! That story was invented by that sham + doctor, and is nothing but a trick of his. He wants to masquerade as an + Aesculapius, and so has started this consumption theory. Fortunately her + husband isn't jealous. [IVANOFF makes an inpatient gesture] As for + Sarah, I wouldn't trust a word or an action of hers. I have made a point + all my life of mistrusting all doctors, lawyers, and women. They are + shammers and deceivers. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] You are an extraordinary person, Matthew! You + have mounted this misanthropic hobby of yours, and you ride it through + thick and thin like a lunatic You are a man like any other, and yet, + from the way you talk one would imagine that you had the pip, or a cold + in the head. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Would you have me go about kissing every rascal and scoundrel + I meet? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Where do you find all these rascals and scoundrels? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Of course I am not talking of any one here present, + nevertheless——- + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. There you are again with your "nevertheless." All this is + simply a fancy of yours. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. A fancy? It is lucky for you that you have no knowledge of + the world! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. My knowledge of the world is this: I must sit here prepared + at any moment to have death come knocking at the door. That is my + knowledge of the world. At our age, brother, you and I can't afford to + worry about knowledge of the world. So then—[He calls] Oh, + Gabriel! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. You have had quite enough already. Look at your nose. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. No matter, old boy. I am not going to be married to-day. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Doctor Lvoff has not been here for a long time. He seems to + have forgotten us. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. That man is one of my aversions. I can't stand his icy sense of + honour. He can't ask for a glass of water or smoke a cigarette without + making a display of his remarkable honesty. Walking and talking, it is + written on his brow: "I am an honest man." He is a great bore. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. He is a narrow-minded, conceited medico. [Angrily] He shrieks + like a parrot at every step: "Make way for honest endeavour!" and thinks + himself another St. Francis. Everybody is a rascal who doesn't make as + much noise as he does. As for his penetration, it is simply remarkable! + If a peasant is well off and lives decently, he sees at once that he + must be a thief and a scoundrel. If I wear a velvet coat and am dressed + by my valet, I am a rascal and the valet is my slave. There is no place + in this world for a man like him. I am actually afraid of him. Yes, + indeed, he is likely, out of a sense of duty, to insult a man at any + moment and to call him a knave. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I am dreadfully tired of him, but I can't help liking him, too, + he is so sincere. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, his sincerity is beautiful! He came up to me + yesterday evening and remarked absolutely apropos of nothing: "Count, I + have a deep aversion to you!" It isn't as if he said such things simply, + but they are extremely pointed. His voice trembles, his eyes flash, his + veins swell. Confound his infernal honesty! Supposing I am disgusting + and odious to him? What is more natural? I know that I am, but I don't + like to be told so to my face. I am a worthless old man, but he might + have the decency to respect my grey hairs. Oh, what stupid, heartless + honesty! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Come, come, you have been young yourself, and should make + allowances for him. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Yes, I have been young and reckless; I have played the fool + in my day and have seen plenty of knaves and scamps, but I have never + called a thief a thief to his face, or talked of ropes in the house of a + man who had been hung. I knew how to behave, but this idiotic doctor of + yours would think himself in the seventh heaven of happiness if fate + would allow him to pull my nose in public in the name of morality and + human ideals. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Young men are all stubborn and restive. I had an uncle once + who thought himself a philosopher. He would fill his house with guests, + and after he had had a drink he would get up on a chair, like this, and + begin: "You ignoramuses! You powers of darkness! This is the dawn of a + new life!" And so on and so on; he would preach and preach—— + </p> + <p> + SASHA. And the guests? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. They would just sit and listen and go on drinking. Once, + though, I challenged him to a duel, challenged my own uncle! It came out + of a discussion about Sir Francis Bacon. I was sitting, I remember, + where Matthew is, and my uncle and the late Gerasim Nilitch were + standing over there, about where Nicholas is now. Well, Gerasim Nilitch + propounded this question—— + </p> + <p> + Enter BORKIN. He is dressed like a dandy and carries a parcel under his + arm. He comes in singing and skipping through the door on the right. A + murmur of approval is heard. + </p> + <p> + THE GIRLS. Oh, Michael Borkin! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Misha! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. The soul of the company! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Here we are! [He runs up to SASHA] Most noble Signorina, let me + be so bold as to wish to the whole world many happy returns of the + birthday of such an exquisite flower as you! As a token of my enthusiasm + let me presume to present you with these fireworks and this Bengal fire + of my own manufacture. [He hands her the parcel] May they illuminate the + night as brightly as you illuminate the shadows of this dark world. [He + spreads them out theatrically before her.] + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Thank you. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Why don't you send this Judas + packing? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [To LEBEDIEFF] My compliments to you, sir. [To IVANOFF] How are + you, my patron? [Sings] Nicholas voila, hey ho hey! [He greets everybody + in turn] Most highly honoured Zinaida! Oh, glorious Martha! Most ancient + Avdotia! Noblest of Counts! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Laughing] The life of the company! The moment he comes in + the air fe els livelier. Have you noticed it? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Whew! I am tired! I believe I have shaken hands with everybody. + Well, ladies and gentlemen, haven't you some little tidbit to tell me; + something spicy? [Speaking quickly to ZINAIDA] Oh, aunty! I have + something to tell you. As I was on my way here—[To GABRIEL] Some + tea, please Gabriel, but without jam—as I was on my way here I saw + some peasants down on the river-bank pulling the bark off the trees. Why + don't you lease that meadow? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [To IVANOFF] Why don't you send that Judas away? + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. [Startled] Why, that is quite true! I never thought of it. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Swinging his arms] I can't sit still! What tricks shall we be + up to next, aunty? I am all on edge, Martha, absolutely exalted. [He + sings] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + "Once more I stand before thee!" +</pre> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Think of something to amuse us, Misha, we are all bored. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Yes, you look so. What is the matter with you all? Why are you + sitting there as solemn as a jury? Come, let us play something; what + shall it be? Forfeits? Hide-and-seek? Tag? Shall we dance, or have the + fireworks? + </p> + <p> + THE GIRLS. [Clapping their hands] The fireworks! The fireworks! [They + run into the garden.] + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [ To IVANOFF] What makes you so depressed today? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. My head aches, little Sasha, and then I feel bored. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Come into the sitting-room with me. + </p> + <p> + They go out through the door on the right. All the guests go into the + garden and ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF are left alone. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. That is what I like to see! A young man like Misha comes into + the room and in a minute he has everybody laughing. [She puts out the + large lamp] There is no reason the candles should burn for nothing so + long as they are all in the garden. [She blows out the candles.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Following her] We really ought to give our guests something + to eat, Zuzu! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. What crowds of candles; no wonder we are thought rich. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Still following her] Do let them have something to eat, + Zuzu; they are young and must be hungry by now, poor things—Zuzu! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. The Count did not finish his tea, and all that sugar has been + wasted. [Goes out through the door on the left.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Bah! [Goes out into the garden.] + </p> + <p> + Enter IVANOFF and SASHA through the door on the right. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. This is how it is, Sasha: I used to work hard and think hard, + and never tire; now, I neither do anything nor think anything, and I am + weary, body and soul. I feel I am terribly to blame, my conscience + leaves me no peace day or night, and yet I can't see clearly exactly + what my mistakes are. And now comes my wife's illness, our poverty, this + eternal backbiting, gossiping, chattering, that foolish Borkin—My + home has become unendurable to me, and to live there is worse than + torture. Frankly, Sasha, the presence of my wife, who loves me, has + become unbearable. You are an old friend, little Sasha, you will not be + angry with me for speaking so openly. I came to you to be cheered, but I + am bored here too, something urges me home again. Forgive me, I shall + slip away at once. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. I can understand your trouble, Nicholas. You are unhappy because + you are lonely. You need some one at your side whom you can love, + someone who understands you. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What an idea, Sasha! Fancy a crusty old badger like myself + starting a love affair! Heaven preserve me from such misfortune! No, my + little sage, this is not a case for romance. The fact is, I can endure + all I have to suffer: sadness, sickness of mind, ruin, the loss of my + wife, and my lonely, broken old age, but I cannot, I will not, endure + the contempt I have for myself! I am nearly killed by shame when I think + that a strong, healthy man like myself has become—oh, heaven only + knows what—by no means a Manfred or a Hamlet! There are some + unfortunates who feel flattered when people call them Hamlets and + cynics, but to me it is an insult. It wounds my pride and I am tortured + by shame and suffer agony. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Laughing through her tears] Nicholas, let us run away to America + together! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I haven't the energy to take such a step as that, and besides, + in America you—[They go toward the door into the garden] As a + matter of fact, Sasha, this is not a good place for you to live. When I + look about at the men who surround you I am terrified for you; whom is + there you could marry? Your only chance will be if some passing + lieutenant or student steals your heart and carries you away. + </p> + <p> + Enter ZINAIDA through the door on the right with a jar of jam. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Excuse me, Sasha, I shall join you in a minute. + </p> + <p> + SASHA goes out into the garden. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [To ZINAIDA] Zinaida, may I ask you a favour? + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. The fact is, you know, that the interest on my note is due day + after to-morrow, but I should be more than obliged to you if you will + let me postpone the payment of it, or would let me add the interest to + the capital. I simply cannot pay it now; I haven't the money. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Oh, Ivanoff, how could I do such a thing? Would it be + business-like? No, no, don't ask it, don't torment an unfortunate old + woman. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I beg your pardon. [He goes out into the garden.] + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! What a fright he gave me! I am trembling + all over. [Goes out through the door on the right.] + </p> + <p> + Enter KOSICH through the door on the left. He walks across the stage. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. I had the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the ace of + spades, and one, just one little heart, and she—may the foul fiend + fly away with her,—she couldn't make a little slam! + </p> + <p> + Goes out through the door on the right. Enter from the garden AVDOTIA + and FIRST GUEST. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her, the miserable + old miser! How I should like it! Does she think it a joke to leave us + sitting here since five o'clock without even offering us a crust to eat? + What a house! What management! + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. I am so bored that I feel like beating my head against the + wall. Lord, what a queer lot of people! I shall soon be howling like a + wolf and snapping at them from hunger and weariness. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. How I should like to get my claws into her, the old sinner! + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. I shall get a drink, old lady, and then home I go! I won't + have anything to do with these belles of yours. How the devil can a man + think of love who hasn't had a drop to drink since dinner? + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Come on, we will go and find something. + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. Sh! Softly! I think the brandy is in the sideboard in the + dining-room. We will find George! Sh! + </p> + <p> + They go out through the door on the left. Enter ANNA and LVOFF through + the door on the right. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. No, they will be glad to see us. Is no one here? Then they must be + in the garden. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. I should like to know why you have brought me into this den of + wolves. This is no place for you and me; honourable people should not be + subjected to such influences as these. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Listen to me, Mr. Honourable Man. When you are escorting a lady it + is very bad manners to talk to her the whole way about nothing but your + own honesty. Such behaviour may be perfectly honest, but it is also + tedious, to say the least. Never tell a woman how good you are; let her + find it out herself. My Nicholas used only to sing and tell stories when + he was young as you are, and yet every woman knew at once what kind of a + man he was. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Don't talk to me of your Nicholas; I know all about him! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. You are a very worthy man, but you don't know anything at all. + Come into the garden. He never said: "I am an honest man; these + surroundings are too narrow for me." He never spoke of wolves' dens, + called people bears or vultures. He left the animal kingdom alone, and + the most I have ever heard him say when he was excited was: "Oh, how + unjust I have been to-day!" or "Annie, I am sorry for that man." That's + what he would say, but you— + </p> + <p> + ANNA and LVOFF go out. Enter AVDOTIA and FIRST GUEST through the door on + the left. + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. There isn't any in the dining-room, so it must be somewhere + in the pantry. We must find George. Come this way, through the + sitting-room. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her! + </p> + <p> + They go out through the door on the right. MARTHA and BORKIN run in + laughing from the garden. SHABELSK I comes mincing behind them, laughing + and rubbing his hands. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Oh, I am so bored! [Laughs loudly] This is deadly! Every one + looks as if he had swallowed a poker. I am frozen to the marrow by this + icy dullness. [She skips about] Let us do something! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN catches her by the waist and kisses her cheek. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Laughing and snapping his fingers] Well, I'll be hanged! + [Cackling] Really, you know! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Let go! Let go, you wretch! What will the Count think? Stop, I + say! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Angel! Jewel! Lend me twenty-three hundred roubles. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Most certainly not! Do what you please, but I'll thank you to + leave my money alone. No, no, no! Oh, let go, will you? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Mincing around them] The little birdie has its charms! + [Seriously] Come, that will do! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Let us come to the point, and consider my proposition frankly as + a business arrangement. Answer me honestly, without tricks and + equivocations, do you agree to do it or not? Listen to me; [Pointing to + Shabelski] he needs money to the amount of at least three thousand a + year; you need a husband. Do you want to be a Countess? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly] Oh, the cynic! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Do you want to be a Countess or not? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. [Excitedly] Wait a minute; really, Misha, these things aren't + done in a second like this. If the Count wants to marry me, let him ask + me himself, and—and—I don't see, I don't understand—all + this is so sudden—— + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Come, don't let us beat about the bush; this is a business + arrangement. Do you agree or not? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Chuckling and rubbing his hands] Supposing I do marry her, + eh? Hang it, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? What do you + say, little puss? [He kisses her cheek] Dearest chick-a-biddy! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Stop! Stop! I hardly know what I am doing. Go away! No—don't + go! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Answer at once: is it yes or no? We can't stand here forever. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Look here, Count, come and visit me for three or four days. It + is gay at my house, not like this place. Come to-morrow. [To BORKIN] Or + is this all a joke? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Angrily] How could I joke on such a serious subject? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Wait! Stop! Oh, I feel faint! A Countess! I am fainting, I am + falling! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN and SHABELSKI laugh and catch her by the arms. They kiss her + cheeks and lead her out through the door on the right. IVANOFF and SASHA + run in from the garden. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Desperately clutching his head] It can't be true! Don't Sasha, + don't! Oh, I implore you not to! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. I love you madly. Without you my life can have no meaning, no + happiness, no hope. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Why, why do you say that? What do you mean? Little Sasha, don't + say it! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. You were the only joy of my childhood; I loved you body and soul + then, as myself, but now—Oh, I love you, Nicholas! Take me with + you to the ends of the earth, wherever you wish; but for heaven's sake + let us go at once, or I shall die. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Shaking with wild laughter] What is this? Is it the beginning + for me of a new life? Is it, Sasha? Oh, my happiness, my joy! [He draws + her to him] My freshness, my youth! + </p> + <p> + Enter ANNA from the garden. She sees her husband and SASHA, and stops as + if petrified. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Oh, then I shall live once more? And work? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF and SASHA kiss each other. After the kiss they look around and + see ANNA. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [With horror] Sarah! + </p> + <p> + The curtain falls. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT III + </h2> + <p> + Library in IVANOFF'S house. On the walls hang maps, pictures, guns, + pistols, sickles, whips, etc. A writing-table. On it lie in disorder + knick-knacks, papers, books, parcels, and several revolvers. Near the + papers stand a lamp, a decanter of vodka, and a plate of salted + herrings. Pieces of bread and cucumber are scattered about. SHABELSKI + and LEBEDIEFF are sitting at the writing-table. BORKIN is sitting + astride a chair in the middle of the room. PETER is standing near the + door. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. The policy of France is clear and definite; the French know + what they want: it is to skin those German sausages, but the Germans + must sing another song; France is not the only thorn in their flesh. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Nonsense! In my opinion the Germans are cowards and the + French are the same. They are showing their teeth at one another, but + you can take my word for it, they will not do more than that; they'll + never fight! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Why should they fight? Why all these congresses, this arming and + expense? Do you know what I would do in their place? I would catch all + the dogs in the kingdom and inoculate them with Pasteur's serum, then I + would let them loose in the enemy's country, and the enemies would all + go mad in a month. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] His head is small, but the great ideas are hidden + away in it like fish in the sea! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Oh, he is a genius. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Heaven help you, Misha, you are a funny chap. [He stops + laughing] But how is this, gentlemen? Here we are talking Germany, + Germany, and never a word about vodka! Repetatur! [He fills three + glasses] Here's to you all! [He drinks and eats] This herring is the + best of all relishes. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. No, no, these cucumbers are better; every wise man since the + creation of the world has been trying to invent something better than a + salted cucumber, and not one has succeeded. [To PETER] Peter, go and + fetch some more cucumbers. And Peter, tell the cook to make four little + onion pasties, and see that we get them hot. + </p> + <p> + PETER goes out. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Caviar is good with vodka, but it must be prepared with + skill. Take a quarter of a pound of pressed caviar, two little onions, + and a little olive oil; mix them together and put a slice of lemon on + top—so! Lord! The very perfume would drive you crazy! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Roast snipe are good too, but they must be cooked right. They + should first be cleaned, then sprinkled with bread crumbs, and roasted + until they will crackle between the teeth—crunch, crunch! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. We had something good at Martha's yesterday: white mushrooms. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. You don't say so! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. And they were especially well prepared, too, with onions and + bay-leaves and spices, you know. When the dish was opened, the odour + that floated out was simply intoxicating! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What do you say, gentlemen? Repetatur! [He drinks] Good + health to you! [He looks at his watch] I must be going. I can't wait for + Nicholas. So you say Martha gave you mushrooms? We haven't seen one at + home. Will you please tell me, Count, what plot you are hatching that + takes you to Martha's so often? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Nodding at BORKIN] He wants me to marry her. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Wants you to marry her! How old are you? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Sixty-two. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Really, you are just the age to marry, aren't you? And Martha + is just suited to you! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. This is not a question of Martha, but of Martha's money. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Aren't you moonstruck, and don't you want the moon too? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Borkin here is quite in earnest about it; the clever fellow + is sure I shall obey orders, and marry Martha. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. What do you mean? Aren't you sure yourself? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Are you mad? I never was sure of anything. Bah! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Many thanks! I am much obliged to you for the information. So + you are trying to fool me, are you? First you say you will marry Martha + and then you say you won't; the devil only knows which you really mean, + but I have given her my word of honour that you will. So you have + changed your mind, have you? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. He is actually in earnest; what an extraordinary man! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [losing his temper] If that is how you feel about it, why have + you turned an honest woman's head? Her heart is set on your title, and + she can neither eat nor sleep for thinking of it. How can you make a + jest of such things? Do you think such behaviour is honourable? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Snapping his fingers] Well, why not play her this shabby + trick, after all? Eh? Just out of spite? I shall certainly do it, upon + my word I shall! What a joke it will be! + </p> + <p> + Enter LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. We bow before you, Aesculapius! [He shakes hands with LVOFF + and sings] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + "Doctor, doctor, save, oh, save me, + I am scared to death of dying!" +</pre> + <p> + LVOFF. Hasn't Ivanoff come home yet? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Not yet. I have been waiting for him myself for over an hour. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF walks impatiently up and down. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. How is Anna to-day? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Very ill. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Sighing] May one go and pay one's respects to her? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. No, please don't. She is asleep, I believe. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. She is a lovely, charming woman. [Sighing] The day she + fainted at our house, on Sasha's birthday, I saw that she had not much + longer to live, poor thing. Let me see, why did she faint? When I ran + up, she was lying on the floor, ashy white, with Nicholas on his knees + beside her, and Sasha was standing by them in tears. Sasha and I went + about almost crazy for a week after that. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [To LVOFF] Tell me, most honoured disciple of science, what + scholar discovered that the frequent visits of a young doctor were + beneficial to ladies suffering from affections of the chest? It is a + remarkable discovery, remarkable! Would you call such treatment + Allopathic or Homeopathic? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF tries to answer, but makes an impatient gesture instead, and walks + out of the room. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. What a withering look he gave me! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Some fiend must prompt you to say such things! Why did you + offend him? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Angrily] Why does he tell such lies? Consumption! No hope! + She is dying! It is nonsense, I can't abide him! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What makes you think he is lying? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Gets up and walks up and down] I can't bear to think that a + living person could die like that, suddenly, without any reason at all. + Don't let us talk about it! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH runs in panting. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. Is Ivanoff at home? How do you do? [He shakes hands quickly all + round] Is he at home? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. No, he isn't. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [Sits down and jumps up again] In that case I must say goodbye; + I must be going. Business, you know. I am absolutely exhausted; run off + my feet! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Where did you blow in from? + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. From Barabanoff's. He and I have been playing cards all night; + we have only just stopped. I have been absolutely fleeced; that + Barabanoff is a demon at cards. [In a tearful voice] Just listen to + this: I had a heart and he [He turns to BORKIN, who jumps away from him] + led a diamond, and I led a heart, and he led another diamond. Well, he + didn't take the trick. [To LEBEDIEFF] We were playing three in clubs. I + had the ace and queen, and the ace and ten of spades— + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Stopping up his ears] Spare me, for heaven's sake, spare me! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [To SHABELSKI] Do you understand? I had the ace and queen of + clubs, the ace and ten of spades. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Pushes him away] Go away, I don't want to listen to you! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. When suddenly misfortune overtook me. My ace of spades took the + first trick— + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Snatching up a revolver] Leave the room, or I shall shoot! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [Waving his hands] What does this mean? Is this the Australian + bush, where no one has any interests in common? Where there is no public + spirit, and each man lives for himself alone? However, I must be off. My + time is precious. [He shakes hands with LEBEDIEFF] Pass! + </p> + <p> + General laughter. KOSICH goes out. In the doorway he runs into AVDOTIA. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. [Shrieks] Bad luck to you, you nearly knocked me down. + </p> + <p> + ALL. Oh, she is always everywhere at once! + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. So this is where you all are? I have been looking for you all + over the house. Good-day to you, boys! + </p> + <p> + [She shakes hands with everybody.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What brings you here? + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Business, my son. [To SHABELSKI] Business connected with your + highness. She commanded me to bow. [She bows] And to inquire after your + health. She told me to say, the little birdie, that if you did not come + to see her this evening she would cry her eyes out. Take him aside, she + said, and whisper in his ear. But why should I make a secret of her + message? We are not stealing chickens, but arranging an affair of lawful + love by mutual consent of both parties. And now, although I never drink, + I shall take a drop under these circumstances. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. So shall I. [He pours out the vodka] You must be immortal, + you old magpie! You were an old woman when I first knew you, thirty + years ago. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. I have lost count of the years. I have buried three husbands, + and would have married a fourth if any one had wanted a woman without a + dowry. I have had eight children. [She takes up the glass] Well, we have + begun a good work, may it come to a good end! They will live happily + ever after, and we shall enjoy their happiness. Love and good luck to + them both! [She drinks] This is strong vodka! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [laughing loudly, to LEBEDIEFF] The funny thing is, they + actually think I am in earnest. How strange! [He gets up] And yet, Paul, + why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? Just out of spite? To give + the devil something to do, eh, Paul? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. You are talking nonsense, Count. You and I must fix our + thoughts on dying now; we have left Martha's money far behind us; our + day is over. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. No, I shall certainly marry her; upon my word, I shall! + </p> + <p> + Enter IVANOFF and LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Will you please spare me five minutes of your time? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Nicholas! [He goes to meet IVANOFF] How are you, old + friend? I have been waiting an hour for you. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. [Bows] How do you do, my son? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Bitterly] So you have turned my library into a bar-room again, + have you? And yet I have begged you all a thousand times not to do so! + [He goes up to the table] There, you see, you have spilt vodka all over + my papers and scattered crumbs and cucumbers everywhere! It is + disgusting! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I beg your pardon, Nicholas. Please forgive me. I have + something very important to speak to you about. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. So have I. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. May I have a word with you? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Pointing to LEBEDIEFF] He wants to speak to me; wait a minute. + [To LEBEDIEFF] Well, what is it? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [To the others] Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I want to + speak to him in private. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI goes out, followed by AVDOTIA, BORKIN, and LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Paul, you may drink yourself as much as you choose, it is your + weakness, but I must ask you not to make my uncle tipsy. He never used + to drink at all; it is bad for him. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Startled] My dear boy, I didn't know that! I wasn't thinking + of him at all. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. If this old baby should die on my hands the blame would be + mine, not yours. Now, what do you want? [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. The fact is, Nicholas—I really don't know how I can put + it to make it seem less brutal—Nicholas, I am ashamed of myself, I + am blushing, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. My dear boy, put + yourself in my place; remember that I am not a free man, I am as putty + in the hands of my wife, a slave—forgive me! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What does this mean? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. My wife has sent me to you; do me a favour, be a friend to + me, pay her the interest on the money you owe her. Believe me, she has + been tormenting me and going for me tooth and nail. For heaven's sake, + free yourself from her clutches! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. You know, Paul, that I have no money now. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I know, I know, but what can I do? She won't wait. If she + should sue you for the money, how could Sasha and I ever look you in the + face again? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I am ready to sink through the floor with shame, Paul, but + where, where shall I get the money? Tell me, where? There is nothing I + can do but to wait until I sell my wheat in the autumn. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Shrieks] But she won't wait! [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Your position is very delicate and unpleasant, but mine is even + worse. [He walks up and down in deep thought] I am at my wit's end, + there is nothing I can sell now. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. You might go to Mulbach and get some money from him; doesn't + he owe you sixty thousand roubles? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF makes a despairing gesture. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas, I know you will be angry, but you + must forgive an old drunkard like me. This is between friends; remember + I am your friend. We were students together, both Liberals; we had the + same interests and ideals; we studied together at the University of + Moscow. It is our Alma Mater. [He takes out his purse] I have a private + fund here; not a soul at home knows of its existence. Let me lend it to + you. [He takes out the money and lays it on the table] Forget your + pride; this is between friends! I should take it from you, indeed I + should! [A pause] There is the money, one hundred thousand roubles. Take + it; go to her y ourself and say: "Take the money, Zinaida, and may you + choke on it." Only, for heaven's sake, don't let her see by your manner + that you got it from me, or she would certainly go for me, with her old + jam! [He looks intently into IVANOFF'S face] There, there, no matter. + [He quickly takes up the money and stuffs it back into his pocket] Don't + take it, I was only joking. Forgive me! Are you hurt? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF waves his hand. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Yes, the truth is—[He sighs] This is a time of sorrow + and pain for you. A man, brother, is like a samovar; he cannot always + stand coolly on a shelf; hot coals will be dropped into him some day, + and then—fizz! The comparison is idiotic, but it is the best I can + think of. [Sighing] Misfortunes wring the soul, and yet I am not worried + about you, brother. Wheat goes through the mill, and comes out as flour, + and you will come safely through your troubles; but I am annoyed, + Nicholas, and angry with the people around you. The whole countryside is + buzzing with gossip; where does it all start? They say you will be soon + arrested for your debts, that you are a bloodthirsty murderer, a monster + of cruelty, a robber. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. All that is nothing to me; my head is aching. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Because you think so much. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I never think. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Come, Nicholas, snap your fingers at the whole thing, and + drive over to visit us. Sasha loves and understands you. She is a sweet, + honest, lovely girl; too good to be the child of her mother and me! + Sometimes, when I look at her, I cannot believe that such a treasure + could belong to a fat old drunkard like me. Go to her, talk to her, and + let her cheer you. She is a good, true-hearted girl. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Paul, my dear friend, please go, and leave me alone. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I understand, I understand! [He glances at his watch] Yes, I + understand. [He kisses IVANOFF] Good-bye, I must go to the blessing of + the school now. [He goes as far as the door, then stops] She is so + clever! Sasha and I were talking about gossiping yesterday, and she + flashed out this epigram: "Father," she said, "fire-flies shine at night + so that the night-birds may make them their prey, and good people are + made to be preyed upon by gossips and slanderers." What do you think of + that? She is a genius, another George Sand! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Stopping him as he goes out] Paul, what is the matter with me? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I have wanted to ask you that myself, but I must confess I + was ashamed to. I don't know, old chap. Sometimes I think your troubles + have been too heavy for you, and yet I know you are not the kind to give + in to them; you would not be overcome by misfortune. It must be + something else, Nicholas, but what it may be I can't imagine. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I can't imagine either what the matter is, unless—and yet + no—[A pause] Well, do you see, this is what I wanted to say. I + used to have a workman called Simon, you remember him. Once, at + threshing-time, to show the girls how strong he was, he loaded himself + with two sacks of rye, and broke his back. He died soon after. I think I + have broken my back also. First I went to school, then to the + university, then came the cares of this estate, all my plans—I did + not believe what others did; did not marry as others did; I worked + passionately, risked everything; no one else, as you know, threw their + money away to right and left as I did. So I heaped the burdens on my + back, and it broke. We are all heroes at twenty, ready to attack + anything, to do everything, and at thirty are worn-out, useless men. + How, oh, how do you account for this weariness? However, I may be quite + wrong; go away, Paul, I am boring you. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I know what is the matter with you, old man: you got out of + bed on the wrong side this morning. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. That is stupid, Paul, and stale. Go away! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. It is stupid, certainly. I see that myself now. I am going at + once. [LEBEDIEFF goes out.] + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Alone] I am a worthless, miserable, useless man. Only a man + equally miserable and suffering, as Paul is, could love or esteem me + now. Good God! How I loathe myself! How bitterly I hate my voice, my + hands, my thoughts, these clothes, each step I take! How ridiculous it + is, how disgusting! Less than a year ago I was healthy and strong, full + of pride and energy and enthusiasm. I worked with these hands here, and + my words could move the dullest man to tears. I could weep with sorrow, + and grow indignant at the sight of wrong. I could feel the glow of + inspiration, and understand the beauty and romance of the silent nights + which I used to watch through from evening until dawn, sitting at my + worktable, and giving up my soul to dreams. I believed in a bright + future then, and looked into it as trustfully as a child looks into its + mother's eyes. And now, oh, it is terrible! I am tired and without hope; + I spend my days and nights in idleness; I have no control over my feet + or brain. My estate is ruined, my woods are falling under the blows of + the axe. [He weeps] My neglected land looks up at me as reproachfully as + an orphan. I expect nothing, am sorry for nothing; my whole soul + trembles at the thought of each new day. And what can I think of my + treatment of Sarah? I promised her love and happiness forever; I opened + her eyes to the promise of a future such as she had never even dreamed + of. She believed me, and though for five years I have seen her sinking + under the weight of her sacrifices to me, and losing her strength in her + struggles with her conscience, God knows she has never given me one + angry look, or uttered one word of reproach. What is the result? That I + don't love her! Why? Is it possible? Can it be true? I can't understand. + She is suffering; her days are numbered; yet I fly like a contemptible + coward from her white face, her sunken chest, her pleading eyes. Oh, I + am ashamed, ashamed! [A pause] Sasha, a young girl, is sorry for me in + my misery. She confesses to me that she loves me; me, almost an old man! + Whereupon I lose my head, and exalted as if by music, I yell: "Hurrah + for a new life and new happiness!" Next day I believe in this new life + and happiness as little as I believe in my happiness at home. What is + the matter with me? What is this pit I am wallowing in? What is the + cause of this weakness? What does this nervousness come from? If my sick + wife wounds my pride, if a servant makes a mistake, if my gun misses + fire, I lose my temper and get violent and altogether unlike myself. I + can't, I can't understand it; the easiest way out would be a bullet + through the head! + </p> + <p> + Enter LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. I must have an explanation with you, Ivanoff. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. If we are going to have an explanation every day, doctor, we + shall neither of us have the strength to stand it. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Will you be good enough to hear me? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I have heard all you have told me every day, and have failed to + discover yet what you want me to do. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. I have always spoken plainly enough, and only an utterly + heartless and cruel man could fail to understand me. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I know that my wife is dying; I know that I have sinned + irreparably; I know that you are an honest man. What more can you tell + me? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. The sight of human cruelty maddens me. The woman is dying and she + has a mother and father whom she loves, and longs to see once more + before she dies. They know that she is dying and that she loves them + still, but with diabolical cruelty, as if to flaunt their religious + zeal, they refuse to see her and forgive her. You are the man for whom + she has sacrificed her home, her peace of mind, everything. Yet you + unblushingly go gadding to the Lebedieffs' every evening, for reasons + that are absolutely unmistakable! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Ah me, it is two weeks since I was there! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Not listening to him] To men like yourself one must speak + plainly, and if you don't want to hear what I have to say, you need not + listen. I always call a spade a spade; the truth is, you want her to die + so that the way may be cleared for your other schemes. Be it so; but + can't you wait? If, instead of crushing the life out of your wife by + your heartless egoism, you let her die naturally, do you think you would + lose Sasha and Sasha's money? Such an absolute Tartuffe as you are could + turn the girl's head and get her money a year from now as easily as you + can to-day. Why are you in such a hurry? Why do you want your wife to + die now, instead of in a month's time, or a year's? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. This is torture! You are a very bad doctor if you think a man + can control himself forever. It is all I can do not to answer your + insults. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Look here, whom are you trying to deceive? Throw off this + disguise! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. You who are so clever, you think that nothing in the world is + easier than to understand me, do you? I married Annie for her money, did + I? And when her parents wouldn't give it to me, I changed my plans, and + am now hustling her out of the world so that I may marry another woman, + who will bring me what I want? You think so, do you? Oh, how easy and + simple it all is! But you are mistaken, doctor; in each one of us there + are too many springs, too many wheels and cogs for us to judge each + other by first impressions or by two or three external indications. I + can not understand you, you cannot understand me, and neither of us can + understand himself. A man may be a splendid doctor, and at the same time + a very bad judge of human nature; you will admit that, unless you are + too self-confident. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Do you really think that your character is so mysterious, and + that I am too stupid to tell vice from virtue? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. It is clear that we shall never agree, so let me beg you to + answer me now without any more preamble: exactly what do you want me to + do? [Angrily] What are you after anyway? And with whom have I the honour + of speaking? With my lawyer, or with my wife's doctor? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. I am a doctor, and as such I demand that you change your conduct + toward your wife; it is killing her. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What shall I do? Tell me! If you understand me so much better + than I understand myself, for heaven's sake tell me exactly what to do! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. In the first place, don't be so unguarded in your behaviour. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Heaven help me, do you mean to say that you understand + yourself? [He drinks some water] Now go away; I am guilty a thousand + times over; I shall answer for my sins before God; but nothing has given + you the right to torture me daily as you do. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Who has given you the right to insult my sense of honour? You + have maddened and poisoned my soul. Before I came to this place I knew + that stupid, crazy, deluded people existed, but I never imagined that + any one could be so criminal as to turn his mind deliberately in the + direction of wickedness. I loved and esteemed humanity then, but since I + have known you— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I have heard all that before. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. You have, have you? + </p> + <p> + He goes out, shrugging his shoulders. He sees SASHA, who comes in at + this moment dressed for riding. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Now, however, I hope that we can understand one another! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Startled] Oh, Sasha, is that you? + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Yes, it is I. How are you? You didn't expect me, did you? Why + haven't you been to see us? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Sasha, this is really imprudent of you! Your coming will have a + terrible effect on my wife! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. She won't see me; I came in by the back entrance; I shall go in a + minute. I am so anxious about you. Tell me, are you well? Why haven't + you been to see us for such a long time? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. My wife is offended already, and almost dying, and now you come + here; Sasha, Sasha, this is thoughtless and unkind of you. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. How could I help coming? It is two weeks since you were at our + house, and you have not answered my letters. I imagined you suffering + dreadfully, or ill, or dead. I have not slept for nights. I am going + now, but first tell me that you are well. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. No, I am not well. I am a torment to myself, and every one + torments me without end. I can't stand it! And now you come here. How + morbid and unnatural it all is, Sasha. I am terribly guilty. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What dreadful, pitiful speeches you make! So you are guilty, are + you? Tell me, then, what is it you have done? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF I don't know; I don't know! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. That is no answer. Every sinner should know what he is guilty of. + Perhaps you have been forging money? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. That is stupid. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Or are you guilty because you no longer love your wife? Perhaps + you are, but no one is master of his feelings, and you did not mean to + stop loving her. Do you feel guilty because she saw me telling you that + I love you? No, that cannot be, because you did not want her to see it— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Interrupting her] And so on, and so on! First you say I love, + and then you say I don't; that I am not master of my feelings. All these + are commonplace, worn-out sentiments, with which you cannot help me. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. It is impossible to talk to you. [She looks at a picture on the + wall] How well those dogs are drawn! Were they done from life? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Yes, from life. And this whole romance of ours is a tedious old + story; a man loses heart and begins to go down in the world; a girl + appears, brave and strong of heart, and gives him a hand to help him to + rise again. Such situations are pretty, but they are only found in + novels and not in real life. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. No, they are found in real life too. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Now I see how well you understand real life! My sufferings seem + noble to you; you imagine you have discovered in me a second Hamlet; but + my state of mind in all its phases is only fit to furnish food for + contempt and derision. My contortions are ridiculous enough to make any + one die of laughter, and you want to play the guardian angel; you want + to do a noble deed and save me. Oh, how I hate myself to-day! I feel + that this tension must soon be relieved in some way. Either I shall + break something, or else— + </p> + <p> + SASHA. That is exactly what you need. Let yourself go! Smash something; + break it to pieces; give a yell! You are angry with me, it was foolish + of me to come here. Very well, then, get excited about it; storm at me; + stamp your feet! Well, aren't you getting angry? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. You ridiculous girl! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Splendid! So we are smiling at last! Be kind, do me the favour of + smiling once more! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Laughing] I have noticed that whenever you start reforming me + and saving my soul, and teaching me how to be good, your face grows + naive, oh so naive, and your eyes grow as wide as if you were looking at + a comet. Wait a moment; your shoulder is covered with dust. [He brushes + her shoulder] A naive man is nothing better than a fool, but you women + contrive to be naive in such a way that in you it seems sweet, and + gentle, and proper, and not as silly as it really is. What a strange way + you have, though, of ignoring a man as long as he is well and happy, and + fastening yourselves to him as soon as he begins to whine and go + down-hill! Do you actually think it is worse to be the wife of a strong + man than to nurse some whimpering invalid? + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Yes, it is worse. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Why do you think so? [Laughing loudly] It is a good thing + Darwin can't hear what you are saying! He would be furious with you for + degrading the human race. Soon, thanks to your kindness, only invalids + and hypochondriacs will be born into the world. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. There are a great many things a man cannot understand. Any girl + would rather love an unfortunate man than a fortunate one, because every + girl would like to do something by loving. A man has his work to do, and + so for him love is kept in the background. To talk to his wife, to walk + with her in the garden, to pass the time pleasantly with her, that is + all that love means to a man. But for us, love means life. I love you; + that means that I dream only of how I shall cure you of your sadness, + how I shall go with you to the ends of the earth. If you are in heaven, + I am in heaven; if you are in the pit, I am in the pit. For instance, it + would be the greatest happiness for me to write all night for you, or to + watch all night that no one should wake you. I remember that three years + ago, at threshing time, you came to us all dusty and sunburnt and tired, + and asked for a drink. When I brought you a glass of water you were + already lying on the sofa and sleeping like a dead man. You slept there + for half a day, and all that time I watched by the door that no one + should disturb you. How happy I was! The more a girl can do, the greater + her love will be; that is, I mean, the more she feels it. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. The love that accomplishes things—hm—that is a + fairy tale, a girl's dream; and yet, perhaps it is as it should be. [He + shrugs his shoulders] How can I tell? [Gaily] On my honour, Sasha, I + really am quite a respectable man. Judge for yourself: I have always + liked to discuss things, but I have never in my life said that our women + were corrupt, or that such and such a woman was on the down-hill path. I + have always been grateful, and nothing more. No, nothing more. Dear + child, how comical you are! And what a ridiculous old stupid I am! I + shock all good Christian folk, and go about complaining from morning to + night. [He laughs and then leaves her suddenly] But you must go, Sasha; + we have forgotten ourselves. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Yes, it is time to go. Good-bye. I am afraid that that honest + doctor of yours will have told Anna out of a sense of duty that I am + here. Take my advice: go at once to your wife and stay with her. Stay, + and stay, and stay, and if it should be for a year, you must still stay, + or for ten years. It is your duty. You must repent, and ask her + forgiveness, and weep. That is what you ought to do, and the great thing + is not to forget to do right. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Again I feel as if I were going crazy; again! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Well, heaven help you! You must forget me entirely. In two weeks + you must send me a line and I shall be content with that. But I shall + write to you— + </p> + <p> + BORKIN looks in at the door. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Ivanoff, may I come in? [He sees SASHA] I beg your pardon, I did + not see you. Bonjour! [He bows.] + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Embarrassed] How do you do? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. You are plumper and prettier than ever. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [To IVANOFF] I must go, Nicholas, I must go. [She goes out.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. What a beautiful apparition! I came expecting prose and found + poetry instead. [Sings] + </p> + <p> + "You showed yourself to the world as a bird——" + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF walks excitedly up and down. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Sits down] There is something in her, Nicholas, that one + doesn't find in other women, isn't there? An elfin strangeness. [He + sighs] Although she is without doubt the richest girl in the country, + her mother is so stingy that no one will have her. After her mother's + death Sasha will have the whole fortune, but until then she will only + give her ten thousand roubles and an old flat-iron, and to get that she + will have to humble herself to the ground. [He feels in his pockets] + Will you have a smoke? [He offers IVANOFF his cigarette case] These are + very good. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Comes toward BORKIN stifled with rage] Leave my house this + instant, and don't you ever dare to set foot in it again! Go this + instant! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN gets up and drops his cigarette. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Go at once! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Nicholas, what do you mean? Why are you so angry? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Why! Where did you get those cigarettes? Where? You think + perhaps that I don't know where you take the old man every day, and for + what purpose? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Shrugs his shoulders] What business is it of yours? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. You blackguard, you! The disgraceful rumours that you have been + spreading about me have made me disreputable in the eyes of the whole + countryside. You and I have nothing in common, and I ask you to leave my + house this instant. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. I know that you are saying all this in a moment of irritation, + and so I am not angry with you. Insult me as much as you please. [He + picks up his cigarette] It is time though, to shake off this melancholy + of yours; you're not a schoolboy. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What did I tell you? [Shuddering] Are you making fun of me? + </p> + <p> + Enter ANNA. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. There now, there comes Anna! I shall go. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF stops near the table and stands with his head bowed. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [After a pause] What did she come here for? What did she come here + for, I ask you? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Don't ask me, Annie. [A pause] I am terribly guilty. Think of + any punishment you want to inflict on me; I can stand anything, but + don't, oh, don't ask questions! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [Angrily] So that is the sort of man you are? Now I understand + you, and can see how degraded, how dishonourable you are! Do you + remember that you came to me once and lied to me about your love? I + believed you, and left my mother, my father, and my faith to follow you. + Yes, you lied to me of goodness and honour, of your noble aspirations + and I believed every word—— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I have never lied to you, Annie. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I have lived with you five years now, and I am tired and ill, but + I have always loved you and have never left you for a moment. You have + been my idol, and what have you done? All this time you have been + deceiving me in the most dastardly way—— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Annie, don't say what isn't so. I have made mistakes, but I + have never told a lie in my life. You dare not accuse me of that! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. It is all clear to me now. You married me because you expected my + mother and father to forgive me and give you my money; that is what you + expected. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Good Lord, Annie! If I must suffer like this, I must have the + patience to bear it. [He begins to weep.] + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Be quiet! When you found that I wasn't bringing you any money, you + tried another game. Now I remember and understand everything. [She + begins to cry] You have never loved me or been faithful to me—never! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Sarah! That is a lie! Say what you want, but don't insult me + with a lie! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. You dishonest, degraded man! You owe money to Lebedieff, and now, + to escape paying your debts, you are trying to turn the head of his + daughter and betray her as you have betrayed me. Can you deny it? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Stifled with rage] For heaven's sake, be quiet! I can't answer + for what I may do! I am choking with rage and I—I might insult + you! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I am not the only one whom you have basely deceived. You have + always blamed Borkin for all your dishonest tricks, but now I know whose + they are. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Sarah, stop at once and go away, or else I shall say something + terrible. I long to say a dreadful, cruel thing [He shrieks] Hold your + tongue, Jewess! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I won't hold my tongue! You have deceived me too long for me to be + silent now. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. So you won't be quiet? [He struggles with himself] Go, for + heaven's sake! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Go now, and betray Sasha! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Know then that you—are dying! The doctor told me that you + are dying. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [Sits down and speaks in a low voice] When did he + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Clutches his head with both hands] Oh, how guilty I am—how + guilty! [He sobs.] + </p> + <p> + The curtain falls. + </p> + <p> + About a year passes between the third and fourth acts. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT IV + </h2> + <p> + A sitting-room in LEBEDIEFF'S house. In the middle of the wall at the + back of the room is an arch dividing the sitting-room from the ballroom. + To the right and left are doors. Some old bronzes are placed about the + room; family portraits are hanging on the walls. Everything is arranged + as if for some festivity. On the piano lies a violin; near it stands a + violoncello. During the entire act guests, dressed as for a ball, are + seen walking about in the ball-room. + </p> + <p> + Enter LVOFF, looking at his watch. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. It is five o'clock. The ceremony must have begun. First the + priest will bless them, and then they will be led to the church to be + married. Is this how virtue and justice triumph? Not being able to rob + Sarah, he has tortured her to death; and now he has found another victim + whom he will deceive until he has robbed her, and then he will get rid + of her as he got rid of poor Sarah. It is the same old sordid story. [A + pause] He will live to a fine old age in the seventh heaven of + happiness, and will die with a clear conscience. No, Ivanoff, it shall + not be! I shall drag your villainy to light! And when I tear off that + accursed mask of yours and show you to the world as the blackguard you + are, you shall come plunging down headfirst from your seventh heaven, + into a pit so deep that the devil himself will not be able to drag you + out of it! I am a man of honour; it is my duty to interfere in such + cases as yours, and to open the eyes of the blind. I shall fulfil my + mission, and to-morrow will find me far away from this accursed place. + [Thoughtfully] But what shall I do? To have an explanation with + Lebedieff would be a hopeless task. Shall I make a scandal, and + challenge Ivanoff to a duel? I am as excited as a child, and have + entirely lost the power of planning anything. What shall I do? Shall I + fight a duel? + </p> + <p> + Enter KOSICH. He goes gaily up to LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. I declared a little slam in clubs yesterday, and made a grand + slam! Only that man Barabanoff spoilt the whole game for me again. We + were playing—well, I said "No trumps" and he said "Pass." "Two in + clubs," he passed again. I made it two in hearts. He said "Three in + clubs," and just imagine, can you, what happened? I declared a little + slam and he never showed his ace! If he had showed his ace, the villain, + I should have declared a grand slam in no trumps! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Excuse me, I don't play cards, and so it is impossible for me to + share your enthusiasm. When does the ceremony begin? + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. At once, I think. They are now bringing Zuzu to herself again. + She is bellowing like a bull; she can't bear to see the money go. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. And what about the daughter? + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. No, it is the money. She doesn't like this affair anyway. He is + marrying her daughter, and that means he won't pay his debts for a long + time. One can't sue one's son-in-law. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA, very much dressed up, struts across the stage past LVOFF and + KOSICH. The latter bursts out laughing behind his hand. MARTHA looks + around. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Idiot! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH digs her in the ribs and laughs loudly. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Boor! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [Laughing] The woman's head has been turned. Before she fixed + her eye on a title she was like any other woman, but there is no coming + near her now! [Angrily] A boor, indeed! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Excitedly] Listen to me; tell me honestly, what do you think of + Ivanoff? + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. He's no good at all. He plays cards like a lunatic. This is what + happened last year during Lent: I, the Count, Borkin and he, sat down to + a game of cards. I led a—— + </p> + <p> + LVOFF [Interrupting him] Is he a good man? + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. He? Yes, he's a good one! He and the Count are a pair of trumps. + They have keen noses for a good game. First, Ivanoff set his heart on + the Jewess, then, when his schemes failed in that quarter, he turned his + thoughts toward Zuzu's money-bags. I'll wager you he'll ruin Zuzu in a + year. He will ruin Zuzu, and the Count will ruin Martha. They will + gather up all the money they can lay hands on, and live happily ever + after! But, doctor, why are you so pale to-day? You look like a ghost. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Oh, it's nothing. I drank a little too much yesterday. + </p> + <p> + Enter LEBEDIEFF with SASHA. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. We can have our talk here. [To LVOFF and KOSICH] Go into the + ball-room, you two old fogies, and talk to the girls. Sasha and I want + to talk alone here. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [Snapping his fingers enthusiastically as he goes by SASHA] What + a picture! A queen of trumps! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Go along, you old cave-dweller; go along. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH and LVOFF go out. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Sit down, Sasha, there—[He sits down and looks about + him] Listen to me attentively and with proper respect. The fact is, your + mother has asked me to say this, do you understand? I am not speaking + for myself. Your mother told me to speak to you. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Papa, do say it briefly! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. When you are married we mean to give you fifteen thousand + roubles. Please don't let us have any discussion about it afterward. + Wait, now! Be quiet! That is only the beginning. The best is yet to + come. We have allotted you fifteen thousand roubles, but in + consideration of the fact that Nicholas owes your mother nine thousand, + that sum will have to be deducted from the amount we mean to give you. + Very well. Now, beside that—— + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Why do you tell me all this? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Your mother told me to. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Leave me in peace! If you had any respect for yourself or me you + could not permit yourself to speak to me in this way. I don't want your + money! I have not asked for it, and never shall. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What are you attacking me for? The two rats in Gogol's fable + sniffed first and then ran away, but you attack without even sniffing. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Leave me in peace, and do not offend my ears with your two-penny + calculations. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Losing his temper] Bah! You all, every one of you, do all + you can to make me cut my throat or kill somebody. One of you screeches + and fusses all day and counts every penny, and the other is so clever + and humane and emancipated that she cannot understand her own father! I + offend your ears, do I? Don't you realise that before I came here to + offend your ears I was being torn to pieces over there, [He points to + the door] literally drawn and quartered? So you cannot understand? You + two have addled my brain till I am utterly at my wits' end; indeed I am! + [He goes toward the door, and stops] I don't like this business at all; + I don't like any thing about you— + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What is it, especially, that you don't like? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Everything, everything! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What do you mean by everything? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Let me explain exactly what I mean. Everything displeases me. + As for your marriage, I simply can't abide it. [He goes up to SASHA and + speaks caressingly] Forgive me, little Sasha, this marriage may be a + wise one; it may be honest and not misguided, nevertheless, there is + something about the whole affair that is not right; no, not right! You + are not marrying as other girls do; you are young and fresh and pure as + a drop of water, and he is a widower, battered and worn. Heaven help + him. I don't understand him at all. [He kisses his daughter] Forgive me + for saying so, Sasha, but I am sure there is something crooked about + this affair; it is making a great deal of talk. It seems people are + saying that first Sarah died, and then suddenly Ivanoff wanted to marry + you. [Quickly] But, no, I am like an old woman; I am gossiping like a + magpie. You must not listen to me or any one, only to your own heart. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Papa, I feel myself that there is something wrong about my + marriage. Something wrong, yes, wrong! Oh, if you only knew how heavy my + heart is; this is unbearable! I am frightened and ashamed to confess + this; Papa darling, you must help me, for heaven's sake. Oh, can't you + tell me what I should do? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What is the matter, Sasha, what is it? + </p> + <p> + SASHA. I am so frightened, more frightened than I have ever been before. + [She glances around her] I cannot understand him now, and I never shall. + He has not smiled or looked straight into my eyes once since we have + been engaged. He is forever complaining and apologising for something; + hinting at some crime he is guilty of, and trembling. I am so tired! + There are even moments when I think—I think—that I do not + love him as I should, and when he comes to see us, or talks to me, I get + so tired! What does it mean, dear father? I am afraid. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. My darling, my only child, do as your old father advises you; + give him up! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Frightened] Oh! How can you say that? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Yes, do it, little Sasha! It will make a scandal, all the + tongues in the country will be wagging about it, but it is better to + live down a scandal than to ruin one's life. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Don't say that, father. Oh, don't. I refuse to listen! I must + crush such gloomy thoughts. He is good and unhappy and misunderstood. I + shall love him and learn to understand him. I shall set him on his feet + again. I shall do my duty. That is settled. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. This is not your duty, but a delusion— + </p> + <p> + SASHA. We have said enough. I have confessed things to you that I have + not dared to admit even to myself. Don't speak about this to any one. + Let us forget it. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I am hopelessly puzzled, and either my mind is going from old + age or else you have all grown very clever, but I'll be hanged if I + understand this business at all. + </p> + <p> + Enter SHABELSKI. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Confound you all and myself, too! This is maddening! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What do you want? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI Seriously, I must really do something horrid and rascally, so + that not only I but everybody else will be disgusted by it. I certainly + shall find something to do, upon my word I shall! I have already told + Borkin to announce that I am to be married. [He laughs] Everybody is a + scoundrel and I must be one too! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I am tired of you, Matthew. Look here, man you talk in such a + way that, excuse my saying so, you will soon find yourself in a lunatic + asylum! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Could a lunatic asylum possibly be worse than this house, or + any othe r? Kindly take me there at once. Please do! Everybody is wicked + and futile and worthless and stupid; I am an object of disgust to + myself, I don't believe a word I say——- + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Let me give you a piece of advice, old man; fill your mouth + full of tow, light it, and blow at everybody. Or, better still, take + your hat and go home. This is a wedding, we all want to enjoy ourselves + and you are croaking like a raven. Yes, really. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI leans on the piano and begins to sob. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Good gracious, Matthew, Count! What is it, dear Matthew, old + friend? Have I offended you? There, forgive me; I didn't mean to hurt + you. Come, drink some water. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. I don't want any water. [Raises his head.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What are you crying about? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Nothing in particular; I was just crying. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Matthew, tell me the truth, what is it? What has happened? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. I caught sight of that violoncello, and—and—I + remembered the Jewess. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What an unfortunate moment you have chosen to remember her. + Peace be with her! But don't think of her now. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. We used to play duets together. She was a beautiful, a + glorious woman. + </p> + <p> + SASHA sobs. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What, are you crying too? Stop, Sasha! Dear me, they are both + howling now, and I—and I—Do go away; the guests will see + you! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Paul, when the sun is shining, it is gay even in a cemetery. + One can be cheerful even in old age if it is lighted by hope; but I have + nothing to hope for—not a thing! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Yes, it is rather sad for you. You have no children, no + money, no occupation. Well, but what is there to be done about it? [To + SASHA] What is the matter with you, Sasha? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Paul, give me some money. I will repay you in the next world. + I would go to Paris and see my wife's grave. I have given away a great + deal of money in my life, half my fortune indeed, and I have a right to + ask for some now. Besides, I am asking a friend. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Embarrassed] My dear boy, I haven't a penny. All right + though. That is to say, I can't promise anything, but you understand—very + well, very well. [Aside] This is agony! + </p> + <p> + Enter MARTHA. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Where is my partner? Count, how dare you leave me alone? You are + horrid! [She taps SHABELSKI on the arm with her fan] + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Impatiently] Leave me alone! I can't abide you! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. [Frightened] How? What? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Go away! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. [Sinks into an arm-chair] Oh! Oh! Oh! [She bursts into tears.] + </p> + <p> + Enter ZINAIDA crying. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Some one has just arrived; it must be one of the ushers. It is + time for the ceremony to begin. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Imploringly] Mother! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Well, now you are all bawling. What a quartette! Come, come, + don't let us have any more of this dampness! Matthew! Martha! If you go + on like this, I—I—shall cry too. [Bursts into tears] + Heavens! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. If you don't need your mother any more, if you are determined + not to obey her, I shall have to do as you want, and you have my + blessing. + </p> + <p> + Enter IVANOFF, dressed in a long coat, with gloves on. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF This is the finishing touch! What do you want? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Why are you here? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I beg your pardon, you must allow me to speak to Sasha alone. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. The bridegroom must not come to see the bride before the + wedding. It is time for you to go to the church. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Paul, I implore you. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF shrugs his shoulders. LEBEDIEFF, ZINAIDA, SHABELSKI, and + MARTHA go out. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Sternly] What do you want? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I am choking with anger; I cannot speak calmly. Listen to me; + as I was dressing just now for the wedding, I looked in the glass and + saw how grey my temples were. Sasha, this must not be! Let us end this + senseless comedy before it is too late. You are young and pure; you have + all your life before you, but I—— + </p> + <p> + SASHA. The same old story; I have heard it a thousand times and I am + tired of it. Go quickly to the church and don't keep everybody waiting! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I shall go straight home, and you must explain to your family + somehow that there is to be no wedding. Explain it as you please. It is + time we came to our senses. I have been playing the part of Hamlet and + you have been playing the part of a noble and devoted girl. We have kept + up the farce long enough. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Losing her temper] How can you speak to me like this? I won't + have it. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. But I am speaking, and will continue to speak. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What do you mean by coming to me like this? Your melancholy has + become absolutely ridiculous! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. No, this is not melancholy. It is ridiculous, is it? Yes, I am + laughing, and if it were possible for me to laugh at myself a thousand + times more bitterly I should do so and set the whole world laughing, + too, in derision. A fierce light has suddenly broken over my soul; as I + looked into the glass just now, I laughed at myself, and nearly went mad + with shame. [He laughs] Melancholy indeed! Noble grief! Uncontrollable + sorrow! It only remains for me now to begin to write verses! Shall I + mope and complain, sadden everybody I meet, confess that my manhood has + gone forever, that I have decayed, outlived my purpose, that I have + given myself up to cowardice and am bound hand and foot by this + loathsome melancholy? Shall I confess all this when the sun is shining + so brightly and when even the ants are carrying their little burdens in + peaceful self-content? No, thanks. Can I endure the knowledge that one + will look upon me as a fraud, while another pities me, a third lends me + a helping hand, or worst of all, a fourth listens reverently to my + sighs, looks upon me as a new Mahomet, and expects me to expound a new + religion every moment? No, thank God for the pride and conscience he has + left me still. On my way here I laughed at myself, and it seemed to me + that the flowers and birds were laughing mockingly too. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. This is not anger, but madness! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. You think so, do you? No, I am not mad. I see things in their + right light now, and my mind is as clear as your conscience. We love + each other, but we shall never be married. It makes no difference how I + rave and grow bitter by myself, but I have no right to drag another down + with me. My melancholy robbed my wife of the last year of her life. + Since you have been engaged to me you have forgotten how to laugh and + have aged five years. Your father, to whom life was always simple and + clear, thanks to me, is now unable to understand anybody. Wherever I go, + whether hunting or visiting, it makes no difference, I carry depression, + dulness, and discontent along with me. Wait! Don't interrupt me! I am + bitter and harsh, I know, but I am stifled with rage. I cannot speak + otherwise. I have never lied, and I never used to find fault with my + lot, but since I have begun to complain of everything, I find fault with + it involuntarily, and against my will. When I murmur at my fate every + one who hears me is seized with the same disgust of life and begins to + grumble too. And what a strange way I have of looking at things! Exactly + as if I were doing the world a favour by living in it. Oh, I am + contemptible. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Wait a moment. From what you have just said, it is obvious that + you are tired of your melancholy mood, and that the time has come for + you to begin life afresh. How splendid! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I don't see anything splendid about it. How can I lead a new + life? I am lost forever. It is time we both understood that. A new life + indeed! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Nicholas, come to your senses. How can you say you are lost? What + do you mean by such cynicism? No, I won't listen to you or talk with + you. Go to the church! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I am lost! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Don't talk so loud; our guests will hear you! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. If an intelligent, educated, and healthy man begins to complain + of his lot and go down-hill, there is nothing for him to do but to go on + down until he reaches the bottom—there is no hope for him. Where + could my salvation come from? How can I save myself? I cannot drink, + because it makes my head ache. I never could write bad poetry. I cannot + pray for strength and see anything lofty in the languor of my soul. + Laziness is laziness and weakness weakness. I can find no other names + for them. I am lost, I am lost; there is no doubt of that. [Looking + around] Some one might come in; listen, Sasha, if you love me you must + help me. Renounce me this minute; quickly! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Oh, Nicholas! If you only knew how you are torturing me; what + agony I have to endure for your sake! Good thoughtful friend, judge for + yourself; can I possibly solve such a problem? Each day you put some + horrible problem before me, each one more difficult than the last. I + wanted to help you with my love, but this is martyrdom! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. And when you are my wife the problems will be harder than ever. + Understand this: it is not love that is urging you to take this step, + but the obstinacy of an honest nature. You have undertaken to reawaken + the man in me and to save me in the face of every difficulty, and you + are flattered by the hope of achieving your object. You are willing to + give up now, but you are prevented from doing it by a feeling that is a + false one. Understand yourself! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What strange, wild reasoning! How can I give you up now? How can + I? You have no mother, or sister, or friends. You are ruined; your + estate has been destroyed; every one is speaking ill of you— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. It was foolish of me to come here; I should have done as I + wanted to— + </p> + <p> + Enter LEBEDIEFF. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Running to her father] Father! He has rushed over here like a + madman, and is torturing me! He insists that I should refuse to marry + him; he says he doesn't want to drag me down with him. Tell him that I + won't accept his generosity. I know what I am doing! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I can't understand a word of what you are saying. What + generosity? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. This marriage is not going to take place. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. It is going to take place. Papa, tell him that it is going to + take place. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Wait! Wait! What objection have you to the marriage? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I have explained it all to her, but she refuses to understand + me. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Don't explain it to her, but to me, and explain it so that I + may understand. God forgive you, Nicholas, you have brought a great deal + of darkness into our lives. I feel as if I were living in a museum; I + look about me and don't understand anything I see. This is torture. What + on earth can an old man like me do with you? Shall I challenge you to a + duel? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. There is no need of a duel. All you need is a head on your + shoulders and a knowledge of the Russian language. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Walks up and down in great excitement] This is dreadful, + dreadful! Absolutely childish. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas; from your point of view what you are + doing is quite right and proper, according to the rules of psychology, + but I think this affair is a scandal and a great misfortune. I am an old + man; hear me out for the last time. This is what I want to say to you: + calm yourself; look at things simply, as every one else does; this is a + simple world. The ceiling is white; your boots are black; sugar is + sweet. You love Sasha and she loves you. If you love her, stay with her; + if you don't, leave her. We shan't blame you. It is all perfectly + simple. You are two healthy, intelligent, moral young people; thank God, + you both have food and clothing—what more do you want? What if you + have no money? That is no great misfortune—happiness is not bought + with wealth. Of course your estate is mortgaged, Nicholas, as I know, + and you have no money to pay the interest on the debt, but I am Sasha's + father. I understand. Her mother can do as she likes—if she won't + give any money, why, confound her, then she needn't, that's all! Sasha + has just said that she does not want her part of it. As for your + principles, Schopenhauer and all that, it is all folly. I have one + hundred thousand roubles in the bank. [Looking around him] Not a soul in + the house knows it; it was my grandmother's money. That shall be for you + both. Take it, give Matthew two thousand— + </p> + <p> + [The guests begin to collect in the ball-room]. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. It is no use discussing it any more, I must act as my + conscience bids me. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. And I shall act as my conscience bids me—you may say what + you please; I refuse to let you go! I am going to call my mother. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I am utterly puzzled. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Listen to me, poor old friend. I shall not try to explain + myself to you. I shall not tell you whether I am honest or a rascal, + healthy or mad; you wouldn't understand me. I was young once; I have + been eager and sincere and intelligent. I have loved and hated and + believed as no one else has. I have worked and hoped and tilted against + windmills with the strength of ten—not sparing my strength, not + knowing what life was. I shouldered a load that broke my back. I drank, + I worked, I excited myself, my energy knew no bounds. Tell me, could I + have done otherwise? There are so few of us and so much to do, so much + to do! And see how cruelly fate has revenged herself on me, who fought + with her so bravely! I am a broken man. I am old at thirty. I have + submitted myself to old age. With a heavy head and a sluggish mind, + weary, used up, discouraged, without faith or love or an object in life, + I wander like a shadow among other men, not knowing why I am alive or + what it is that I want. Love seems to me to be folly, caresses false. I + see no sense in working or playing, and all passionate speeches seem + insipid and tiresome. So I carry my sadness with me wherever I go; a + cold weariness, a discontent, a horror of life. Yes, I am lost for ever + and ever. Before you stands a man who at thirty-five is disillusioned, + wearied by fruitless efforts, burning with shame, and mocking at his own + weakness. Oh, how my pride rebels against it all! What mad fury chokes + me! [He staggers] I am staggering—my strength is failing me. Where + is Matthew? Let him take me home. + </p> + <p> + [Voices from the ball-room] The best man has arrived! + </p> + <p> + Enter SHABELSKI. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. In an old worn-out coat—without gloves! How many + scornful glances I get for it! Such silly jokes and vulgar grins! + Disgusting people. + </p> + <p> + Enter BORKIN quickly. He is carrying a bunch of flowers and is in a + dress-coat. He wears a flower in his buttonhole. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. This is dreadful! Where is he? [To IVANOFF] They have been + waiting for you for a long time in the church, and here you are talking + philosophy! What a funny chap you are. Don't you know you must not go to + church with the bride, but alone, with me? I shall then come back for + her. Is it possible you have not understood that? You certainly are an + extraordinary man! + </p> + <p> + Enter LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [To IVANOFF] Ah! So you are here? [Loudly] Nicholas Ivanoff, I + denounce you to the world as a scoundrel! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Coldly] Many thanks! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [To LVOFF] Sir, this is dastardly! I challenge you to a duel! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Monsieur Borkin, I count it a disgrace not only to fight with + you, but even to talk to you! Monsieur Ivanoff, however, can receive + satisfaction from me whenever he chooses! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Sir, I shall fight you! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [To LVOFF] Why, oh why, have you insulted him? Gentlemen, I beg + you, let him tell me why he has insulted him. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Miss Sasha, I have not insulted him without cause. I came here as + a man of honour, to open your eyes, and I beg you to listen to what I + have to tell you. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What can you possibly have to tell me? That you are a man of + honour? The whole world knows it. You had better tell me on your honour + whether you understand what you have done or not. You have come in here + as a man of honour and have insulted him so terribly that you have + nearly killed me. When you used to follow him like a shadow and almost + keep him from living, you were convinced that you were doing your duty + and that you were acting like a man of honour. When you interfered in + his private affairs, maligned him and criticised him; when you sent me + and whomever else you could, anonymous letters, you imagined yourself to + be an honourable man! And, thinking that that too was honourable, you, a + doctor, did not even spare his dying wife or give her a moment's peace + from your suspicions. And no matter what violence, what cruel wrong you + committed, you still imagined yourself to be an unusually honourable and + clear-sighted man. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Laughing] This is not a wedding, but a parliament! Bravo! + Bravo! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [To LVOFF] Now, think it over! Do you see what sort of a man you + are, or not? Oh, the stupid, heartless people! [Takes IVANOFF by the + hand] Come away from here Nicholas! Come, father, let us go! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Where shall we go? Wait a moment. I shall soon put an end to + the whole thing. My youth is awake in me again; the former Ivanoff is + here once more. + </p> + <p> + [He takes out a revolver.] + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Shrieking] I know what he wants to do! Nicholas, for God's sake! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I have been slipping down-hill long enough. Now, halt! It is + time to know what honour is. Out of the way! Thank you, Sasha! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Shrieking] Nicholas! For God's sake hold him! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Let go! [He rushes aside, and shoots himself.] + </p> + <p> + The curtain falls. + </p> + <br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ivanoff, by Anton Checkov + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IVANOFF *** + +***** This file should be named 1755-h.htm or 1755-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/7/5/1755/ + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer, and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ivanoff + A Play + +Author: Anton Checkov + +Posting Date: November 23, 2008 [EBook #1755] +Release Date: May, 1999 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IVANOFF *** + + + + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer + + + + + +IVANOFF + +A PLAY + +By Anton Checkov + + + + +CHARACTERS + +NICHOLAS IVANOFF, perpetual member of the Council of Peasant Affairs + +ANNA, his wife. Nee Sarah Abramson + +MATTHEW SHABELSKI, a count, uncle of Ivanoff + +PAUL LEBEDIEFF, President of the Board of the Zemstvo + +ZINAIDA, his wife + +SASHA, their daughter, twenty years old + +LVOFF, a young government doctor + +MARTHA BABAKINA, a young widow, owner of an estate and daughter of a +rich merchant + +KOSICH, an exciseman + +MICHAEL BORKIN, a distant relative of Ivanoff, and manager of his estate + +AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, an old woman + +GEORGE, lives with the Lebedieffs + +FIRST GUEST + +SECOND GUEST + +THIRD GUEST + +FOURTH GUEST + +PETER, a servant of Ivanoff + +GABRIEL, a servant of Lebedieff + +GUESTS OF BOTH SEXES + +The play takes place in one of the provinces of central Russia + + + + +IVANOFF + + + + +ACT I + +The garden of IVANOFF'S country place. On the left is a terrace and the +facade of the house. One window is open. Below the terrace is a broad +semicircular lawn, from which paths lead to right and left into a +garden. On the right are several garden benches and tables. A lamp is +burning on one of the tables. It is evening. As the curtain rises sounds +of the piano and violoncello are heard. + +IVANOFF is sitting at a table reading. + +BORKIN, in top-boots and carrying a gun, comes in from the rear of the +garden. He is a little tipsy. As he sees IVANOFF he comes toward him on +tiptoe, and when he comes opposite him he stops and points the gun at +his face. + +IVANOFF. [Catches sight of BORKIN. Shudders and jumps to his feet] +Misha! What are you doing? You frightened me! I can't stand your stupid +jokes when I am so nervous as this. And having frightened me, you laugh! +[He sits down.] + +BORKIN. [Laughing loudly] There, I am sorry, really. I won't do it +again. Indeed I won't. [Take off his cap] How hot it is! Just think, my +dear boy, I have covered twelve miles in the last three hours. I am worn +out. Just feel how my heart is beating. + + +IVANOFF. [Goes on reading] Oh, very well. I shall feel it later! + +BORKIN. No, feel it now. [He takes IVANOFF'S hand and presses it against +his breast] Can you feel it thumping? That means that it is weak and +that I may die suddenly at any moment. Would you be sorry if I died? + +IVANOFF. I am reading now. I shall attend to you later. + +BORKIN. No, seriously, would you be sorry if I died? Nicholas, would you +be sorry if I died? + +IVANOFF. Leave me alone! + +BORKIN. Come, tell me if you would be sorry or not. + +IVANOFF. I am sorry that you smell so of vodka, Misha, it is disgusting. + +BORKIN. Do I smell of vodka? How strange! And yet, it is not so strange +after all. I met the magistrate on the road, and I must admit that we +did drink about eight glasses together. Strictly speaking, of course, +drinking is very harmful. Listen, it is harmful, isn't it? Is it? Is it? + +IVANOFF. This is unendurable! Let me warn you, Misha, that you are going +too far. + +BORKIN. Well, well, excuse me. Sit here by yourself then, for heaven's +sake, if it amuses you. [Gets up and goes away] What extraordinary +people one meets in the world. They won't even allow themselves to be +spoken to. [He comes back] Oh, yes, I nearly forgot. Please let me have +eighty-two roubles. + +IVANOFF. Why do you want eighty-two roubles? + +BORKIN. To pay the workmen to-morrow. + +IVANOFF. I haven't the money. + +BORKIN. Many thanks. [Angrily] So you haven't the money! And yet the +workmen must be paid, mustn't they? + +IVANOFF. I don't know. Wait till my salary comes in on the first of the +month. + +BORKIN. How is it possible to discuss anything with a man like you? +Can't you understand that the workmen are coming to-morrow morning and +not on the first of the month? + +IVANOFF. How can I help it? I'll be hanged if I can do anything about it +now. And what do you mean by this irritating way you have of pestering +me whenever I am trying to read or write or---- + +BORKIN. Must the workmen be paid or not, I ask you? But, good gracious! +What is the use of talking to you! [Waves his hand] Do you think +because you own an estate you can command the whole world? With your +two thousand acres and your empty pockets you are like a man who has a +cellar full of wine and no corkscrew. I have sold the oats as they +stand in the field. Yes, sir! And to-morrow I shall sell the rye and +the carriage horses. [He stamps up and down] Do you think I am going +to stand upon ceremony with you? Certainly not! I am not that kind of a +man! + +ANNA appears at the open window. + +ANNA. Whose voice did I hear just now? Was it yours, Misha? Why are you +stamping up and down? + +BORKIN. Anybody who had anything to do with your Nicholas would stamp up +and down. + +ANNA. Listen, Misha! Please have some hay carried onto the croquet lawn. + +BORKIN. [Waves his hand] Leave me alone, please! + +ANNA. Oh, what manners! They are not becoming to you at all. If you want +to be liked by women you must never let them see you when you are angry +or obstinate. [To her husband] Nicholas, let us go and play on the lawn +in the hay! + +IVANOFF. Don't you know it is bad for you to stand at the open window, +Annie? [Calls] Shut the window, Uncle! + +[The window is shut from the inside.] + +BORKIN. Don't forget that the interest on the money you owe Lebedieff +must be paid in two days. + +IVANOFF. I haven't forgotten it. I am going over to see Lebedieff today +and shall ask him to wait. + +[He looks at his watch.] + +BORKIN. When are you going? + +IVANOFF. At once. + +BORKIN. Wait! Wait! Isn't this Sasha's birthday? So it is! The idea of +my forgetting it. What a memory I have. [Jumps about] I shall go with +you! [Sings] I shall go, I shall go! Nicholas, old man, you are the joy +of my life. If you were not always so nervous and cross and gloomy, you +and I could do great things together. I would do anything for you. Shall +I marry Martha Babakina and give you half her fortune? That is, not +half, either, but all--take it all! + +IVANOFF. Enough of this nonsense! + +BORKIN. No, seriously, shan't I marry Martha and halve the money with +you? But no, why should I propose it? How can you understand? [Angrily] +You say to me: "Stop talking nonsense!" You are a good man and a +clever one, but you haven't any red blood in your veins or any--well, +enthusiasm. Why, if you wanted to, you and I could cut a dash together +that would shame the devil himself. If you were a normal man instead of +a morbid hypochondriac we would have a million in a year. For instance, +if I had twenty-three hundred roubles now I could make twenty thousand +in two weeks. You don't believe me? You think it is all nonsense? No, +it isn't nonsense. Give me twenty-three hundred roubles and let me try. +Ofsianoff is selling a strip of land across the river for that price. +If we buy this, both banks will be ours, and we shall have the right to +build a dam across the river. Isn't that so? We can say that we intend +to build a mill, and when the people on the river below us hear that +we mean to dam the river they will, of course, object violently and we +shall say: If you don't want a dam here you will have to pay to get us +away. Do you see the result? The factory would give us five thousand +roubles, Korolkoff three thousand, the monastery five thousand more-- + +IVANOFF. All that is simply idiotic, Misha. If you don't want me to lose +my temper you must keep your schemes to yourself. + +BORKIN. [Sits down at the table] Of course! I knew how it would be! You +never will act for yourself, and you tie my hands so that I am helpless. + +Enter SHABELSKI and LVOFF. + +SHABELSKI. The only difference between lawyers and doctors is that +lawyers simply rob you, whereas doctors both rob you and kill you. I am +not referring to any one present. [Sits down on the bench] They are all +frauds and swindlers. Perhaps in Arcadia you might find an exception to +the general rule and yet--I have treated thousands of sick people myself +in my life, and I have never met a doctor who did not seem to me to be +an unmistakable scoundrel. + +BORKIN. [To IVANOFF] Yes, you tie my hands and never do anything for +yourself, and that is why you have no money. + +SHABELSKI. As I said before, I am not referring to any one here at +present; there may be exceptions though, after all--[He yawns.] + +IVANOFF. [Shuts his book] What have you to tell me, doctor? + +LVOFF. [Looks toward the window] Exactly what I said this morning: she +must go to the Crimea at once. [Walks up and down.] + +SHABELSKI. [Bursts out laughing] To the Crimea! Why don't you and I set +up as doctors, Misha? Then, if some Madame Angot or Ophelia finds the +world tiresome and begins to cough and be consumptive, all we shall +have to do will be to write out a prescription according to the laws of +medicine: that is, first, we shall order her a young doctor, and then a +journey to the Crimea. There some fascinating young Tartar---- + +IVANOFF. [Interrupting] Oh, don't be coarse! [To LVOFF] It takes money +to go to the Crimea, and even if I could afford it, you know she has +refused to go. + +LVOFF. Yes, she has. [A pause.] + +BORKIN. Look here, doctor, is Anna really so ill that she absolutely +must go to the Crimea? + +LVOFF. [Looking toward the window] Yes, she has consumption. + +BORKIN. Whew! How sad! I have seen in her face for some time that she +could not last much longer. + +LVOFF. Can't you speak quietly? She can hear everything you say. [A +pause.] + +BORKIN. [Sighing] The life of man is like a flower, blooming so gaily in +a field. Then, along comes a goat, he eats it, and the flower is gone! + +SHABELSKI. Oh, nonsense, nonsense. [Yawning] Everything is a fraud and a +swindle. [A pause.] + +BORKIN. Gentlemen, I have been trying to tell Nicholas how he can make +some money, and have submitted a brilliant plan to him, but my seed, +as usual, has fallen on barren soil. Look what a sight he is now: dull, +cross, bored, peevish---- + +SHABELSKI. [Gets up and stretches himself] You are always inventing +schemes for everybody, you clever fellow, and telling them how to live; +can't you tell me something? Give me some good advice, you ingenious +young man. Show me a good move to make. + +BORKIN. [Getting up] I am going to have a swim. Goodbye, gentlemen. [To +Shabelski] There are at least twenty good moves you could make. If I +were you I should have twenty thousand roubles in a week. + +[He goes out; SHABELSKI follows him.] + +SHABELSKI. How would you do it? Come, explain. + +BORKIN. There is nothing to explain, it is so simple. [Coming back] +Nicholas, give me a rouble. + +IVANOFF silently hands him the money + +BORKIN. Thanks. Shabelski, you still hold some trump cards. + +SHABELSKI follows him out. + +SHABELSKI. Well, what are they? + +BORKIN. If I were you I should have thirty thousand roubles and more in +a week. [They go out together.] + +IVANOFF. [After a pause] Useless people, useless talk, and the necessity +of answering stupid questions, have wearied me so, doctor, that I am +ill. I have become so irritable and bitter that I don't know myself. +My head aches for days at a time. I hear a ringing in my ears, I can't +sleep, and yet there is no escape from it all, absolutely none. + +LVOFF. Ivanoff, I have something serious to speak to you about. + +IVANOFF. What is it? + +LVOFF. It is about your wife. She refuses to go to the Crimea alone, but +she would go with you. + +IVANOFF. [Thoughtfully] It would cost a great deal for us both to go, +and besides, I could not get leave to be away for so long. I have had +one holiday already this year. + +LVOFF. Very well, let us admit that. Now to proceed. The best cure for +consumption is absolute peace of mind, and your wife has none whatever. +She is forever excited by your behaviour to her. Forgive me, I am +excited and am going to speak frankly. Your treatment of her is killing +her. [A pause] Ivanoff, let me believe better things of you. + +IVANOFF. What you say is true, true. I must be terribly guilty, but my +mind is confused. My will seems to be paralysed by a kind of stupor; I +can't understand myself or any one else. [Looks toward the window] Come, +let us take a walk, we might be overheard here. [They get up] My dear +friend, you should hear the whole story from the beginning if it were +not so long and complicated that to tell it would take all night. [They +walk up and down] Anna is a splendid, an exceptional woman. She has left +her faith, her parents and her fortune for my sake. If I should demand +a hundred other sacrifices, she would consent to every one without the +quiver of an eyelid. Well, I am not a remarkable man in any way, and +have sacrificed nothing. However, the story is a long one. In short, the +whole point is, my dear doctor--[Confused] that I married her for love +and promised to love her forever, and now after five years she loves me +still and I--[He waves his hand] Now, when you tell me she is dying, I +feel neither love nor pity, only a sort of loneliness and weariness. To +all appearances this must seem horrible, and I cannot understand myself +what is happening to me. [They go out.] + +SHABELSKI comes in. + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing] Upon my word, that man is no scoundrel, but a +great thinker, a master-mind. He deserves a memorial. He is the essence +of modern ingenuity, and combines in himself alone the genius of the +lawyer, the doctor, and the financier. [He sits down on the lowest step +of the terrace] And yet he has never finished a course of studies in any +college; that is so surprising. What an ideal scoundrel he would have +made if he had acquired a little culture and mastered the sciences! "You +could make twenty thousand roubles in a week," he said. "You still hold +the ace of trumps: it is your title." [Laughing] He said I might get +a rich girl to marry me for it! [ANNA opens the window and looks down] +"Let me make a match between you and Martha," says he. Who is this +Martha? It must be that Balabalkina--Babakalkina woman, the one that +looks like a laundress. + +ANNA. Is that you, Count? + +SHABELSKI. What do you want? + +ANNA laughs. + +SHABELSKI. [With a Jewish accent] Vy do you laugh? + +ANNA. I was thinking of something you said at dinner, do you remember? +How was it--a forgiven thief, a doctored horse. + +SHABELSKI. A forgiven thief, a doctored horse, and a Christianised Jew +are all worth the same price. + +ANNA. [Laughing] You can't even repeat the simplest saying without +ill-nature. You are a most malicious old man. [Seriously] Seriously, +Count you are extremely disagreeable, and very tiresome and painful to +live with. You are always grumbling and growling, and everybody to you +is a blackguard and a scoundrel. Tell me honestly, Count, have you ever +spoken well of any one? + +SHABELSKI. Is this an inquisition? + +ANNA. We have lived under this same roof now for five years, and I +have never heard you speak kindly of people, or without bitterness and +derision. What harm has the world done to you? Is it possible that you +consider yourself better than any one else? + +SHABELSKI. Not at all. I think we are all of us scoundrels and +hypocrites. I myself am a degraded old man, and as useless as a cast-off +shoe. I abuse myself as much as any one else. I was rich once, and free, +and happy at times, but now I am a dependent, an object of charity, a +joke to the world. When I am at last exasperated and defy them, they +answer me with a laugh. When I laugh, they shake their heads sadly and +say, "The old man has gone mad." But oftenest of all I am unheard and +unnoticed by every one. + +ANNA. [Quietly] Screaming again. + +SHABELSKI. Who is screaming? + +ANNA. The owl. It screams every evening. + +SHABELSKI. Let it scream. Things are as bad as they can be already. +[Stretches himself] Alas, my dear Sarah! If I could only win a thousand +or two roubles, I should soon show you what I could do. I wish you +could see me! I should get away out of this hole, and leave the bread of +charity, and should not show my nose here again until the last judgment +day. + +ANNA. What would you do if you were to win so much money? + +SHABELSKI. [Thoughtfully] First I would go to Moscow to hear the Gipsies +play, and then--then I should fly to Paris and take an apartment and go +to the Russian Church. + +ANNA. And what else? + +SHABELSKI. I would go and sit on my wife's grave for days and days and +think. I would sit there until I died. My wife is buried in Paris. [A +pause.] + +ANNA. How terribly dull this is! Shall we play a duet? + +SHABELSKI. As you like. Go and get the music ready. [ANNA goes out.] + +IVANOFF and LVOFF appear in one of the paths. + +IVANOFF. My dear friend, you left college last year, and you are still +young and brave. Being thirty-five years old I have the right to advise +you. Don't marry a Jewess or a bluestocking or a woman who is queer in +any way. Choose some nice, common-place girl without any strange and +startling points in her character. Plan your life for quiet; the greyer +and more monotonous you can make the background, the better. My dear +boy, do not try to fight alone against thousands; do not tilt with +windmills; do not dash yourself against the rocks. And, above all, +may you be spared the so-called rational life, all wild theories and +impassioned talk. Everything is in the hands of God, so shut yourself +up in your shell and do your best. That is the pleasant, honest, healthy +way to live. But the life I have chosen has been so tiring, oh, so +tiring! So full of mistakes, of injustice and stupidity! [Catches sight +of SHABELSKI, and speaks angrily] There you are again, Uncle, always +under foot, never letting one have a moment's quiet talk! + +SHABELSKI. [In a tearful voice] Is there no refuge anywhere for a poor +old devil like me? [He jumps up and runs into the house.] + +IVANOFF. Now I have offended him! Yes, my nerves have certainly gone to +pieces. I must do something about it, I must---- + +LVOFF. [Excitedly] Ivanoff, I have heard all you have to say and--and--I +am going to speak frankly. You have shown me in your voice and manner, +as well as in your words, the most heartless egotism and pitiless +cruelty. Your nearest friend is dying simply because she is near you, +her days are numbered, and you can feel such indifference that you go +about giving advice and analysing your feelings. I cannot say all I +should like to; I have not the gift of words, but--but I can at least +say that you are deeply antipathetic to me. + +IVANOFF. I suppose I am. As an onlooker, of course you see me more +clearly than I see myself, and your judgment of me is probably right. +No doubt I am terribly guilty. [Listens] I think I hear the carriage +coming. I must get ready to go. [He goes toward the house and then +stops] You dislike me, doctor, and you don't conceal it. Your sincerity +does you credit. [He goes into the house.] + +LVOFF. [Alone] What a confoundedly disagreeable character! I have let +another opportunity slip without speaking to him as I meant to, but I +simply cannot talk calmly to that man. The moment I open my mouth to +speak I feel such a commotion and suffocation here [He puts his hand on +his breast] that my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. Oh, I loathe +that Tartuffe, that unmitigated rascal, with all my heart! There he is, +preparing to go driving in spite of the entreaties of his unfortunate +wife, who adores him and whose only happiness is his presence. She +implores him to spend at least one evening with her, and he cannot even +do that. Why, he might shoot himself in despair if he had to stay at +home! Poor fellow, what he wants are new fields for his villainous +schemes. Oh, I know why you go to Lebedieff's every evening, Ivanoff! I +know. + +Enter IVANOFF, in hat and coat, ANNA and SHABELSKI + +SHABELSKI. Look here, Nicholas, this is simply barbarous You go away +every evening and leave us here alone, and we get so bored that we have +to go to bed at eight o'clock. It is a scandal, and no decent way of +living. Why can you go driving if we can't? Why? + +ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Let him go if he wants to. + +IVANOFF. How can a sick woman like you go anywhere? You know you have a +cough and must not go out after sunset. Ask the doctor here. You are no +child, Annie, you must be reasonable. And as for you, what would you do +with yourself over there? + +SHABELSKI. I am ready to go anywhere: into the jaws of a crocodile, or +even into the jaws of hell, so long as I don't have to stay here. I am +horribly bored. I am stupefied by this dullness. Every one here is tired +of me. You leave me at home to entertain Anna, but I feel more like +scratching and biting her. + +ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Leave him alone. Let him go if he enjoys +himself there. + +IVANOFF. What does this mean, Annie? You know I am not going for +pleasure. I must see Lebedieff about the money I owe him. + +ANNA. I don't see why you need justify yourself to me. Go ahead! Who is +keeping you? + +IVANOFF. Heavens! Don't let us bite one another's heads off. Is that +really unavoidable? + +SHABELSKI. [Tearfully] Nicholas, my dear boy, do please take me with +you. I might possibly be amused a little by the sight of all the fools +and scoundrels I should see there. You know I haven't been off this +place since Easter. + +IVANOFF. [Exasperated] Oh, very well! Come along then! How tiresome you +all are! + +SHABELSKI. I may go? Oh, thank you! [Takes him gaily by the arm and +leads him aside] May I wear your straw hat? + +IVANOFF. You may, only hurry, please. + +SHABELSKI runs into the house. + +IVANOFF. How tired I am of you all! But no, what am I saying? Annie, my +manner to you is insufferable, and it never used to be. Well, good-bye, +Annie. I shall be back by one. + +ANNA. Nicholas! My dear husband, stay at home to-night! + +IVANOFF. [Excitedly] Darling, sweetheart, my dear, unhappy one, I +implore you to let me leave home in the evenings. I know it is cruel and +unjust to ask this, but let me do you this injustice. It is such torture +for me to stay. As soon as the sun goes down my soul is overwhelmed by +the most horrible despair. Don't ask me why; I don't know; I swear I +don't. This dreadful melancholy torments me here, it drives me to the +Lebedieff's and there it grows worse than ever. I rush home; it still +pursues me; and so I am tortured all through the night. It is breaking +my heart. + +ANNA. Nicholas, won't you stay? We will talk together as we used to. +We will have supper together and read afterward. The old grumbler and I +have learned so many duets to play to you. [She kisses him. Then, after +a pause] I can't understand you any more. This has been going on for a +year now. What has changed you so? + +IVANOFF. I don't know. + +ANNA. And why don't you want me to go driving with you in the evening? + +IVANOFF. As you insist on knowing, I shall have to tell you. It is a +little cruel, but you had best understand. When this melancholy fit is +on me I begin to dislike you, Annie, and at such times I must escape +from you. In short, I simply have to leave this house. + +ANNA. Oh, you are sad, are you? I can understand that! Nicholas, let +me tell you something: won't you try to sing and laugh and scold as you +used to? Stay here, and we will drink some liqueur together, and laugh, +and chase away this sadness of yours in no time. Shall I sing to you? Or +shall we sit in your study in the twilight as we used to, while you tell +me about your sadness? I can read such suffering in your eyes! Let +me look into them and weep, and our hearts will both be lighter. [She +laughs and cries at once] Or is it really true that the flowers return +with every spring, but lost happiness never returns? Oh, is it? Well, go +then, go! + +IVANOFF. Pray for me, Annie! [He goes; then stops and thinks for a +moment] No, I can't do it. [IVANOFF goes out.] + +ANNA. Yes, go, go--[Sits down at the table.] + +LVOFF. [Walking up and down] Make this a rule, Madam: as soon as the sun +goes down you must go indoors and not come out again until morning. The +damp evening air is bad for you. + +ANNA. Yes, sir! + +LVOFF. What do you mean by "Yes, sir"? I am speaking seriously. + +ANNA. But I don't want to be serious. [She coughs.] + +LVOFF. There now, you see, you are coughing already. + +SHABELSKI comes out of the house in his hat and coat. + +SHABELSKI. Where is Nicholas? Is the carriage here yet? [Goes quickly +to ANNA and kisses her hand] Good-night, my darling! [Makes a face and +speaks with a Jewish accent] I beg your bardon! [He goes quickly out.] + +LVOFF. Idiot! + +A pause; the sounds of a concertina are heard in the distance. + +ANNA. Oh, how lonely it is! The coachman and the cook are having a +little ball in there by themselves, and I--I am, as it were, abandoned. +Why are you walking about, Doctor? Come and sit down here. + +LVOFF. I can't sit down. + +[A pause.] + +ANNA. They are playing "The Sparrow" in the kitchen. [She sings] + + "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you? + On the mountain drinking dew." + +[A pause] Are your father and mother living, Doctor? + +LVOFF. My mother is living; my father is dead. + +ANNA. Do you miss your mother very much? + +LVOFF. I am too busy to miss any one. + +ANNA. [Laughing] The flowers return with every spring, but lost +happiness never returns. I wonder who taught me that? I think it was +Nicholas himself. [Listens] The owl is hooting again. + +LVOFF. Well, let it hoot. + +ANNA. I have begun to think, Doctor, that fate has cheated me. Other +people who, perhaps, are no better than I am are happy and have not had +to pay for their happiness. But I have paid for it all, every moment of +it, and such a price! Why should I have to pay so terribly? Dear friend, +you are all too considerate and gentle with me to tell me the truth; but +do you think I don't know what is the matter with me? I know perfectly +well. However, this isn't a pleasant subject--[With a Jewish accent] "I +beg your bardon!" Can you tell funny stories? + +LVOFF. No, I can't. + +ANNA. Nicholas can. I am beginning to be surprised, too, at the +injustice of people. Why do they return hatred for love, and answer +truth with lies? Can you tell me how much longer I shall be hated by my +mother and father? They live fifty miles away, and yet I can feel their +hatred day and night, even in my sleep. And how do you account for the +sadness of Nicholas? He says that he only dislikes me in the evening, +when the fit is on him. I understand that, and can tolerate it, but +what if he should come to dislike me altogether? Of course that is +impossible, and yet--no, no, I mustn't even imagine such a thing. +[Sings] + + "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you?" + +[She shudders] What fearful thoughts I have! You are not married, +Doctor; there are many things that you cannot understand. + +LVOFF. You say you are surprised, but--but it is you who surprise me. +Tell me, explain to me how you, an honest and intelligent woman, almost +a saint, could allow yourself to be so basely deceived and dragged into +this den of bears? Why are you here? What have you in common with such a +cold and heartless--but enough of your husband! What have you in common +with these wicked and vulgar surroundings? With that eternal grumbler, +the crazy and decrepit Count? With that swindler, that prince of +rascals, Misha, with his fool's face? Tell me, I say, how did you get +here? + +ANNA. [laughing] That is what he used to say, long ago, oh, exactly! +Only his eyes are larger than yours, and when he was excited they used +to shine like coals--go on, go on! + +LVOFF. [Gets up and waves his hand] There is nothing more to say. Go +into the house. + +ANNA. You say that Nicholas is not what he should be, that his faults +are so and so. How can you possibly understand him? How can you learn +to know any one in six months? He is a wonderful man, Doctor, and I am +sorry you could not have known him as he was two or three years ago. He +is depressed and silent now, and broods all day without doing anything, +but he was splendid then. I fell in love with him at first sight. +[Laughing] I gave one look and was caught like a mouse in a trap! So +when he asked me to go with him I cut every tie that bound me to my +old life as one snips the withered leaves from a plant. But things are +different now. Now he goes to the Lebedieff's to amuse himself with +other women, and I sit here in the garden and listen to the owls. [The +WATCHMAN'S rattle is heard] Tell me, Doctor, have you any brothers and +sisters? + +LVOFF. No. + +ANNA sobs. + +LVOFF. What is it? What is the matter? + +ANNA. I can't stand it, Doctor, I must go. + +LVOFF. Where? + +ANNA. To him. I am going. Have the horses harnessed. [She runs into the +house.] + +LVOFF. No, I certainly cannot go on treating any one under these +conditions. I not only have to do it for nothing, but I am forced to +endure this agony of mind besides. No, no, I can't stand it. I have had +enough of it. [He goes into the house.] + +The curtain falls. + + + + +ACT II + +The drawing-room of LEBEDIEFFOS house. In the centre is a door leading +into a garden. Doors open out of the room to the right and left. The +room is furnished with valuable old furniture, which is carefully +protected by linen covers. The walls are hung with pictures. The room is +lighted by candelabra. ZINAIDA is sitting on a sofa; the elderly guests +are sitting in arm-chairs on either hand. The young guests are sitting +about the room on small chairs. KOSICH, AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, GEORGE, and +others are playing cards in the background. GABRIEL is standing near +the door on the right. The maid is passing sweetmeats about on a tray. +During the entire act guests come and go from the garden, through the +room, out of the door on the left, and back again. Enter MARTHA through +the door on the right. She goes toward ZINAIDA. + +ZINAIDA. [Gaily] My dearest Martha! + +MARTHA. How do you do, Zinaida? Let me congratulate you on your +daughter's birthday. + +ZINAIDA. Thank you, my dear; I am delighted to see you. How are you? + +MARTHA. Very well indeed, thank you. [She sits down on the sofa] Good +evening, young people! + +The younger guests get up and bow. + +FIRST GUEST. [Laughing] Young people indeed! Do you call yourself an old +person? + +MARTHA. [Sighing] How can I make any pretense to youth now? + +FIRST GUEST. What nonsense! The fact that you are a widow means nothing. +You could beat any pretty girl you chose at a canter. + +GABRIEL brings MARTHA some tea. + +ZINAIDA. Why do you bring the tea in like that? Go and fetch some jam to +eat with it! + +MARTHA. No thank you; none for me, don't trouble yourself. [A pause.] + +FIRST GUEST. [To MARTHA] Did you come through Mushkine on your way here? + +MARTHA. No, I came by way of Spassk. The road is better that way. + +FIRST GUEST. Yes, so it is. + +KOSICH. Two in spades. + +GEORGE. Pass. + +AVDOTIA. Pass. + +SECOND GUEST. Pass. + +MARTHA. The price of lottery tickets has gone up again, my dear. I have +never known such a state of affairs. The first issue is already worth +two hundred and seventy and the second nearly two hundred and fifty. +This has never happened before. + +ZINAIDA. How fortunate for those who have a great many tickets! + +MARTHA. Don't say that, dear; even when the price of tickets is high it +does not pay to put one's capital into them. + +ZINAIDA. Quite true, and yet, my dear, one never can tell what may +happen. Providence is sometimes kind. + +THIRD GUEST. My impression is, ladies, that at present capital +is exceedingly unproductive. Shares pay very small dividends, and +speculating is exceedingly dangerous. As I understand it, the capitalist +now finds himself in a more critical position than the man who---- + +MARTHA. Quite right. + +FIRST GUEST yawns. + +MARTHA. How dare you yawn in the presence of ladies? + +FIRST GUEST. I beg your pardon! It was quite an accident. + +ZINAIDA gets up and goes out through the door on the right. + +GEORGE. Two in hearts. + +SECOND GUEST. Pass. + +KOSICH. Pass. + +MARTHA. [Aside] Heavens! This is deadly! I shall die of ennui. + +Enter ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF through the door on the right. + +ZINAIDA. Why do you go off by yourself like a prima donna? Come and sit +with our guests! + +[She sits down in her former place.] + +LEBEDIEFF. [Yawning] Oh, dear, our sins are heavy! [He catches sight of +MARTHA] Why, there is my little sugar-plum! How is your most esteemed +highness? + +MARTHA. Very well, thank you. + +LEBEDIEFF. Splendid, splendid! [He sits down in an armchair] Quite +right--Oh, Gabriel! + +GABRIEL brings him a glass of vodka and a tumbler of water. He empties +the glass of vodka and sips the water. + +FIRST GUEST. Good health to you! + +LEBEDIEFF. Good health is too much to ask. I am content to keep death +from the door. [To his wife] Where is the heroine of this occasion, +Zuzu? + +KOSICH. [In a plaintive voice] Look here, why haven't we taken any +tricks yet? [He jumps up] Yes, why have we lost this game entirely, +confound it? + +AVDOTIA. [Jumps up angrily] Because, friend, you don't know how to play +it, and have no right to be sitting here at all. What right had you to +lead from another suit? Haven't you the ace left? [They both leave the +table and run forward.] + +KOSICH. [In a tearful voice] Ladies and gentlemen, let me explain! I had +the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the ace of spades and one, +just one, little heart, do you understand? Well, she, bad luck to her, +she couldn't make a little slam. I said one in no-trumps---- * + + * The game played is vint, the national card-game of Russia + and the direct ancestor of auction bridge, with which it is + almost identical. [translator's note] + +AVDOTIA. [Interrupting him] No, I said one in no-trumps; you said two in +no-trumps---- + +KOSICH. This is unbearable! Allow me--you had--I had--you had--[To +LEBEDIEFF] But you shall decide it, Paul: I had the ace, king, queen, +and eight of diamonds---- + +LEBEDIEFF. [Puts his fingers into his ears] Stop, for heaven's sake, +stop! + +AVDOTIA. [Yelling] I said no-trumps, and not he! + +KOSICH. [Furiously] I'll be damned if I ever sit down to another game of +cards with that old cat! + +He rushes into the garden. The SECOND GUEST follows him. GEORGE is left +alone at the table. + +AVDOTIA. Whew! He makes my blood boil! Old cat, indeed! You're an old +cat yourself! + +MARTHA. How angry you are, aunty! + +AVDOTIA. [Sees MARTHA and claps her hands] Are you here, my darling? +My beauty! And was I blind as a bat, and didn't see you? Darling child! +[She kisses her and sits down beside her] How happy this makes me! Let +me feast my eyes on you, my milk-white swan! Oh, oh, you have bewitched +me! + +LEBEDIEFF. Why don't you find her a husband instead of singing her +praises? + +AVDOTIA. He shall be found. I shall not go to my grave before I have +found a husband for her, and one for Sasha too. I shall not go to my +grave--[She sighs] But where to find these husbands nowadays? There +sit some possible bridegrooms now, huddled together like a lot of +half-drowned rats! + +THIRD GUEST. A most unfortunate comparison! It is my belief, ladies, +that if the young men of our day prefer to remain single, the fault lies +not with them, but with the existing, social conditions! + +LEBEDIEFF. Come, enough of that! Don't give us any mo re philosophy; I +don't like it! + +Enter SASHA. She goes up to her father. + +SASHA. How can you endure the stuffy air of this room when the weather +is so beautiful? + +ZINAIDA. My dear Sasha, don't you see that Martha is here? + +SASHA. I beg your pardon. + +[She goes up to MARTHA and shakes hands.] + +MARTHA. Yes, here I am, my dear little Sasha, and proud to congratulate +you. [They kiss each other] Many happy returns of the day, dear! + +SASHA. Thank you! [She goes and sits down by her father.] + +LEBEDIEFF. As you were saying, Avdotia Nazarovna, husbands are hard to +find. I don't want to be rude, but I must say that the young men of the +present are a dull and poky lot, poor fellows! They can't dance or talk +or drink as they should do. + +AVDOTIA. Oh, as far as drinking goes, they are all experts. Just give +them--give them---- + +LEBEDIEFF. Simply to drink is no art. A horse can drink. No, it must be +done in the right way. In my young days we used to sit and cudgel our +brains all day over our lessons, but as soon as evening came we would +fly off on some spree and keep it up till dawn. How we used to dance and +flirt, and drink, too! Or sometimes we would sit and chatter and discuss +everything under the sun until we almost wagged our tongues off. But +now--[He waves his hand] Boys are a puzzle to me. They are not willing +either to give a candle to God or a pitchfork to the devil! There is +only one young fellow in the country who is worth a penny, and he is +married. [Sighs] They say, too, that he is going crazy. + +MARTHA. Who is he? + +LEBEDIEFF. Nicholas Ivanoff. + +MARTHA. Yes, he is a fine fellow, only [Makes a face] he is very +unhappy. + +ZINAIDA. How could he be otherwise, poor boy! [She sighs] He made such +a bad mistake. When he married that Jewess of his he thought of course +that her parents would give away whole mountains of gold with her, but, +on the contrary, on the day she became a Christian they disowned her, +and Ivanoff has never seen a penny of the money. He has repented of his +folly now, but it is too late. + +SASHA. Mother, that is not true! + +MARTHA. How can you say it is not true, Sasha, when we all know it to be +a fact? Why did he have to marry a Jewess? He must have had some reason +for doing it. Are Russian girls so scarce? No, he made a mistake, poor +fellow, a sad mistake. [Excitedly] And what on earth can he do with her +now? Where could she go if he were to come home some day and say: "Your +parents have deceived me; leave my house at once!" Her parents wouldn't +take her back. She might find a place as a house-maid if she had ever +learned to work, which she hasn't. He worries and worries her now, but +the Count interferes. If it had not been for the Count, he would have +worried her to death long ago. + +AVDOTIA. They say he shuts her up in a cellar and stuffs her with +garlic, and she eats and eats until her very soul reeks of it. +[Laughter.] + +SASHA. But, father, you know that isn't true! + +LEBEDIEFF. What if it isn't, Sasha? Let them spin yarns if it amuses +them. [He calls] Gabriel! + +GABRIEL brings him another glass of vodka and a glass of water. + +ZINAIDA. His misfortunes have almost ruined him, poor man. His affairs +are in a frightful condition. If Borkin did not take such good charge +of his estate he and his Jewess would soon be starving to death. [She +sighs] And what anxiety he has caused us! Heaven only knows how we have +suffered. Do you realise, my dear, that for three years he has owed us +nine thousand roubles? + +MARTHA. [Horrified] Nine thousand! + +ZINAIDA. Yes, that is the sum that my dear Paul has undertaken to lend +him. He never knows to whom it is safe to lend money and to whom it is +not. I don't worry about the principal, but he ought to pay the interest +on his debt. + +SASHA. [Hotly] Mamma, you have already discussed this subject at least a +thousand times! + +ZINAIDA. What difference does it make to you? Why should you interfere? + +SASHA. What is this mania you all have for gossiping about a man who has +never done any of you any harm? Tell me, what harm has he done you? + +THIRD GUEST. Let me say two words, Miss Sasha. I esteem Ivanoff, and +have always found him an honourable man, but, between ourselves, I also +consider him an adventurer. + +SASHA. I congratulate you on your opinion! + +THIRD GUEST. In proof of its truth, permit me to present to you the +following facts, as they were communicated to me by his secretary, or +shall I say rather, by his factotum, Borkin. Two years ago, at the time +of the cattle plague, he bought some cattle and had them insured-- + +ZINAIDA. Yes, I remember hearing' of that. + +THIRD GUEST. He had them insured, as you understand, and then inoculated +them with the disease and claimed the insurance. + +SASHA. Oh, what nonsense, nonsense, nonsense! No one bought or +inoculated any cattle! The story was invented by Borkin, who then went +about boasting of his clever plan. Ivanoff would not forgive Borkin for +two weeks after he heard of it. He is only guilty of a weak character +and too great faith in humanity. He can't make up his mind to get rid +of that Borkin, and so all his possessions have been tricked and stolen +from him. Every one who has had anything to do with Ivanoff has taken +advantage of his generosity to grow rich. + +LEBEDIEFF. Sasha, you little firebrand, that will do! + +SASHA. Why do you all talk like this? This eternal subject of Ivanoff, +Ivanoff, and always Ivanoff has grown insufferable, and yet you never +speak of anything else. [She goes toward the door, then stops and comes +back] I am surprised, [To the young men] and utterly astonished at your +patience, young men! How can you sit there like that? Aren't you bored? +Why, the very air is as dull as ditchwater! Do, for heaven's sake say +something; try to amuse the girls a little, move about! Or if you can't +talk of anything except Ivanoff, you might laugh or sing or dance---- + +LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] That's right, Sasha! Give them a good scolding. + +SASHA. Look here, will you do me a favour? If you refuse to dance or +sing or laugh, if all that is tedious, then let me beg you, implore you, +to summon all your powers, if only for this once, and make one witty or +clever remark. Let it be as impertinent and malicious as you like, so +long as it is funny and original. Won't you perform this miracle, just +once, to surprise us and make us laugh? Or else you might think of some +little thing which you could all do together, something to make you stir +about. Let the girls admire you for once in their lives! Listen to me! +I suppose you want them to like you? Then why don't try to make them do +it? Oh, dear! There is something wrong with you all! You are a lot of +sleepy stick-in-the-muds! I have told you so a thousand times and shall +always go on repeating it; there is something wrong with every one of +you; something wrong, wrong, wrong! + +Enter IVANOFF and SHABELSKI through the door on the right. + +SHABELSKI. Who is making a speech here? Is it you, Sasha? [He laughs and +shakes hands with her] Many happy returns of the day, my dear child. May +you live as long as possible in this life, but never be born again! + +ZINAIDA. [Joyfully] My dear Count! + +LEBEDIEFF. Who can this be? Not you, Count? + +SHABELSKI. [Sees ZINAIDA and MARTHA sitting side by side] Two gold mines +side by side! What a pleasant picture it makes! [He shakes hands with +ZINAIDA] Good evening, Zuzu! [Shakes hands with MARTHA] Good evening, +Birdie! + +ZINAIDA. I am charmed to see you, Count. You are a rare visitor here +now. [Calls] Gabriel, bring some tea! Please sit down. + +She gets up and goes to the door and back, evidently much preoccupied. +SASHA sits down in her former place. IVANOFF silently shakes hands with +every one. + +LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] What miracle has brought you here? You have +given us a great surprise. Why, Count, you're a rascal, you haven't been +treating us right at all. [Leads him forward by the hand] Tell me, why +don't you ever come to see us now? Are you offended? + +SHABELSKI. How can I get here to see you? Astride a broomstick? I have +no horses of my own, and Nicholas won't take me with him when he goes +out. He says I must stay at home to amuse Sarah. Send your horses for me +and I shall come with pleasure. + +LEBE DIEFF. [With a wave of the hand] Oh, that is easy to say! But Zuzu +would rather have a fit than lend the horses to any one. My dear, +dear old friend, you are more to me than any one I know! You and I are +survivors of those good old days that are gone forever, and you alone +bring back to my mind the love and longings of my lost youth. Of course +I am only joking, and yet, do you know, I am almost in tears? + +SHABELSKI. Stop, stop! You smell like the air of a wine cellar. + +LEBEDIEFF. Dear friend, you cannot imagine how lonely I am without my +old companions! I could hang myself! [Whispers] Zuzu has frightened +all the decent men away with her stingy ways, and now we have only this +riff-raff, as you see: Tom, Dick, and Harry. However, drink your tea. + +ZINAIDA. [Anxiously, to GABRIEL] Don't bring it in like that! Go fetch +some jam to eat with it! + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Didn't I tell you so? [To +LEBEDIEFF] I bet him driving over, that as soon as we arrived Zuzu would +want to feed us with jam! + +ZINAIDA. Still joking, Count! [She sits down.] + +LEBEDIEFF. She made twenty jars of it this year, and how else do you +expect her to get rid of it? + +SHABELSKI. [Sits down near the table] Are you still adding to the hoard, +Zuzu? You will soon have a million, eh? + +ZINAIDA. [Sighing] I know it seems as if no one could be richer than we, +but where do they think the money comes from? It is all gossip. + +SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, we all know that! We know how badly you play your +cards! Tell me, Paul, honestly, have you saved up a million yet? + +LEBEDIEFF. I don't know. Ask Zuzu. + +SHABELSKI. [To MARTHA] And my plump little Birdie here will soon have a +million too! She is getting prettier and plumper not only every day, but +every hour. That means she has a nice little fortune. + +MARTHA. Thank you very much, your highness, but I don't like such jokes. + +SHABELSKI. My dear little gold mine, do you call that a joke? It was a +wail of the soul, a cry from the heart, that burst through my lips. +My love for you and Zuzu is immense. [Gaily] Oh, rapture! Oh, bliss! I +cannot look at you two without a madly beating heart! + +ZINAIDA. You are still the same, Count. [To GEORGE] Put out the candles +please, George. [GEORGE gives a start. He puts out the candles and sits +down again] How is your wife, Nicholas? + +IVANOFF. She is very ill. The doctor said to-day that she certainly had +consumption. + +ZINAIDA. Really? Oh, how sad! [She sighs] And we are all so fond of her! + +SHABELSKI. What trash you all talk! That story was invented by that sham +doctor, and is nothing but a trick of his. He wants to masquerade as an +Aesculapius, and so has started this consumption theory. Fortunately +her husband isn't jealous. [IVANOFF makes an inpatient gesture] As for +Sarah, I wouldn't trust a word or an action of hers. I have made a point +all my life of mistrusting all doctors, lawyers, and women. They are +shammers and deceivers. + +LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] You are an extraordinary person, Matthew! You +have mounted this misanthropic hobby of yours, and you ride it through +thick and thin like a lunatic You are a man like any other, and yet, +from the way you talk one would imagine that you had the pip, or a cold +in the head. + +SHABELSKI. Would you have me go about kissing every rascal and scoundrel +I meet? + +LEBEDIEFF. Where do you find all these rascals and scoundrels? + +SHABELSKI. Of course I am not talking of any one here present, +nevertheless----- + +LEBEDIEFF. There you are again with your "nevertheless." All this is +simply a fancy of yours. + +SHABELSKI. A fancy? It is lucky for you that you have no knowledge of +the world! + +LEBEDIEFF. My knowledge of the world is this: I must sit here prepared +at any moment to have death come knocking at the door. That is my +knowledge of the world. At our age, brother, you and I can't afford to +worry about knowledge of the world. So then--[He calls] Oh, Gabriel! + +SHABELSKI. You have had quite enough already. Look at your nose. + +LEBEDIEFF. No matter, old boy. I am not going to be married to-day. + +ZINAIDA. Doctor Lvoff has not been here for a long time. He seems to +have forgotten us. + +SASHA. That man is one of my aversions. I can't stand his icy sense of +honour. He can't ask for a glass of water or smoke a cigarette without +making a display of his remarkable honesty. Walking and talking, it is +written on his brow: "I am an honest man." He is a great bore. + +SHABELSKI. He is a narrow-minded, conceited medico. [Angrily] He shrieks +like a parrot at every step: "Make way for honest endeavour!" and thinks +himself another St. Francis. Everybody is a rascal who doesn't make as +much noise as he does. As for his penetration, it is simply remarkable! +If a peasant is well off and lives decently, he sees at once that he +must be a thief and a scoundrel. If I wear a velvet coat and am dressed +by my valet, I am a rascal and the valet is my slave. There is no place +in this world for a man like him. I am actually afraid of him. Yes, +indeed, he is likely, out of a sense of duty, to insult a man at any +moment and to call him a knave. + +IVANOFF. I am dreadfully tired of him, but I can't help liking him, too, +he is so sincere. + +SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, his sincerity is beautiful! He came up to me +yesterday evening and remarked absolutely apropos of nothing: "Count, I +have a deep aversion to you!" It isn't as if he said such things simply, +but they are extremely pointed. His voice trembles, his eyes flash, his +veins swell. Confound his infernal honesty! Supposing I am disgusting +and odious to him? What is more natural? I know that I am, but I don't +like to be told so to my face. I am a worthless old man, but he might +have the decency to respect my grey hairs. Oh, what stupid, heartless +honesty! + +LEBEDIEFF. Come, come, you have been young yourself, and should make +allowances for him. + +SHABELSKI. Yes, I have been young and reckless; I have played the fool +in my day and have seen plenty of knaves and scamps, but I have never +called a thief a thief to his face, or talked of ropes in the house of a +man who had been hung. I knew how to behave, but this idiotic doctor +of yours would think himself in the seventh heaven of happiness if fate +would allow him to pull my nose in public in the name of morality and +human ideals. + +LEBEDIEFF. Young men are all stubborn and restive. I had an uncle once +who thought himself a philosopher. He would fill his house with guests, +and after he had had a drink he would get up on a chair, like this, and +begin: "You ignoramuses! You powers of darkness! This is the dawn of a +new life!" And so on and so on; he would preach and preach---- + +SASHA. And the guests? + +LEBEDIEFF. They would just sit and listen and go on drinking. Once, +though, I challenged him to a duel, challenged my own uncle! It came +out of a discussion about Sir Francis Bacon. I was sitting, I remember, +where Matthew is, and my uncle and the late Gerasim Nilitch were +standing over there, about where Nicholas is now. Well, Gerasim Nilitch +propounded this question---- + +Enter BORKIN. He is dressed like a dandy and carries a parcel under his +arm. He comes in singing and skipping through the door on the right. A +murmur of approval is heard. + +THE GIRLS. Oh, Michael Borkin! + +LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Misha! + +SHABELSKI. The soul of the company! + +BORKIN. Here we are! [He runs up to SASHA] Most noble Signorina, let +me be so bold as to wish to the whole world many happy returns of the +birthday of such an exquisite flower as you! As a token of my enthusiasm +let me presume to present you with these fireworks and this Bengal fire +of my own manufacture. [He hands her the parcel] May they illuminate the +night as brightly as you illuminate the shadows of this dark world. [He +spreads them out theatrically before her.] + +SASHA. Thank you. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Why don't you send this Judas +packing? + +BORKIN. [To LEBEDIEFF] My compliments to you, sir. [To IVANOFF] How are +you, my patron? [Sings] Nicholas voila, hey ho hey! [He greets everybody +in turn] Most highly honoured Zinaida! Oh, glorious Martha! Most ancient +Avdotia! Noblest of Counts! + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing] The life of the company! The moment he comes in +the air fe els livelier. Have you noticed it? + +BORKIN. Whew! I am tired! I believe I have shaken hands with everybody. +Well, ladies and gentlemen, haven't you some little tidbit to tell +me; something spicy? [Speaking quickly to ZINAIDA] Oh, aunty! I have +something to tell you. As I was on my way here--[To GABRIEL] Some tea, +please Gabriel, but without jam--as I was on my way here I saw some +peasants down on the river-bank pulling the bark off the trees. Why +don't you lease that meadow? + +LEBEDIEFF. [To IVANOFF] Why don't you send that Judas away? + +ZINAIDA. [Startled] Why, that is quite true! I never thought of it. + +BORKIN. [Swinging his arms] I can't sit still! What tricks shall we be +up to next, aunty? I am all on edge, Martha, absolutely exalted. [He +sings] + + "Once more I stand before thee!" + +ZINAIDA. Think of something to amuse us, Misha, we are all bored. + +BORKIN. Yes, you look so. What is the matter with you all? Why are you +sitting there as solemn as a jury? Come, let us play something; what +shall it be? Forfeits? Hide-and-seek? Tag? Shall we dance, or have the +fireworks? + +THE GIRLS. [Clapping their hands] The fireworks! The fireworks! [They +run into the garden.] + +SASHA. [ To IVANOFF] What makes you so depressed today? + +IVANOFF. My head aches, little Sasha, and then I feel bored. + +SASHA. Come into the sitting-room with me. + +They go out through the door on the right. All the guests go into the +garden and ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF are left alone. + +ZINAIDA. That is what I like to see! A young man like Misha comes into +the room and in a minute he has everybody laughing. [She puts out the +large lamp] There is no reason the candles should burn for nothing so +long as they are all in the garden. [She blows out the candles.] + +LEBEDIEFF. [Following her] We really ought to give our guests something +to eat, Zuzu! + +ZINAIDA. What crowds of candles; no wonder we are thought rich. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Still following her] Do let them have something to eat, +Zuzu; they are young and must be hungry by now, poor things--Zuzu! + +ZINAIDA. The Count did not finish his tea, and all that sugar has been +wasted. [Goes out through the door on the left.] + +LEBEDIEFF. Bah! [Goes out into the garden.] + +Enter IVANOFF and SASHA through the door on the right. + +IVANOFF. This is how it is, Sasha: I used to work hard and think hard, +and never tire; now, I neither do anything nor think anything, and I +am weary, body and soul. I feel I am terribly to blame, my conscience +leaves me no peace day or night, and yet I can't see clearly exactly +what my mistakes are. And now comes my wife's illness, our poverty, this +eternal backbiting, gossiping, chattering, that foolish Borkin--My home +has become unendurable to me, and to live there is worse than torture. +Frankly, Sasha, the presence of my wife, who loves me, has become +unbearable. You are an old friend, little Sasha, you will not be angry +with me for speaking so openly. I came to you to be cheered, but I am +bored here too, something urges me home again. Forgive me, I shall slip +away at once. + +SASHA. I can understand your trouble, Nicholas. You are unhappy because +you are lonely. You need some one at your side whom you can love, +someone who understands you. + +IVANOFF. What an idea, Sasha! Fancy a crusty old badger like myself +starting a love affair! Heaven preserve me from such misfortune! No, my +little sage, this is not a case for romance. The fact is, I can endure +all I have to suffer: sadness, sickness of mind, ruin, the loss of my +wife, and my lonely, broken old age, but I cannot, I will not, endure +the contempt I have for myself! I am nearly killed by shame when I think +that a strong, healthy man like myself has become--oh, heaven only knows +what--by no means a Manfred or a Hamlet! There are some unfortunates who +feel flattered when people call them Hamlets and cynics, but to me it +is an insult. It wounds my pride and I am tortured by shame and suffer +agony. + +SASHA. [Laughing through her tears] Nicholas, let us run away to America +together! + +IVANOFF. I haven't the energy to take such a step as that, and besides, +in America you--[They go toward the door into the garden] As a matter of +fact, Sasha, this is not a good place for you to live. When I look about +at the men who surround you I am terrified for you; whom is there you +could marry? Your only chance will be if some passing lieutenant or +student steals your heart and carries you away. + +Enter ZINAIDA through the door on the right with a jar of jam. + +IVANOFF. Excuse me, Sasha, I shall join you in a minute. + +SASHA goes out into the garden. + +IVANOFF. [To ZINAIDA] Zinaida, may I ask you a favour? + +ZINAIDA. What is it? + +IVANOFF. The fact is, you know, that the interest on my note is due day +after to-morrow, but I should be more than obliged to you if you will +let me postpone the payment of it, or would let me add the interest to +the capital. I simply cannot pay it now; I haven't the money. + +ZINAIDA. Oh, Ivanoff, how could I do such a thing? Would it be +business-like? No, no, don't ask it, don't torment an unfortunate old +woman. + +IVANOFF. I beg your pardon. [He goes out into the garden.] + +ZINAIDA. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! What a fright he gave me! I am trembling +all over. [Goes out through the door on the right.] + +Enter KOSICH through the door on the left. He walks across the stage. + +KOSICH. I had the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the ace of +spades, and one, just one little heart, and she--may the foul fiend fly +away with her,--she couldn't make a little slam! + +Goes out through the door on the right. Enter from the garden AVDOTIA +and FIRST GUEST. + +AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her, the miserable +old miser! How I should like it! Does she think it a joke to leave us +sitting here since five o'clock without even offering us a crust to eat? +What a house! What management! + +FIRST GUEST. I am so bored that I feel like beating my head against the +wall. Lord, what a queer lot of people! I shall soon be howling like a +wolf and snapping at them from hunger and weariness. + +AVDOTIA. How I should like to get my claws into her, the old sinner! + +FIRST GUEST. I shall get a drink, old lady, and then home I go! I won't +have anything to do with these belles of yours. How the devil can a man +think of love who hasn't had a drop to drink since dinner? + +AVDOTIA. Come on, we will go and find something. + +FIRST GUEST. Sh! Softly! I think the brandy is in the sideboard in the +dining-room. We will find George! Sh! + +They go out through the door on the left. Enter ANNA and LVOFF through +the door on the right. + +ANNA. No, they will be glad to see us. Is no one here? Then they must be +in the garden. + +LVOFF. I should like to know why you have brought me into this den of +wolves. This is no place for you and me; honourable people should not be +subjected to such influences as these. + +ANNA. Listen to me, Mr. Honourable Man. When you are escorting a lady it +is very bad manners to talk to her the whole way about nothing but your +own honesty. Such behaviour may be perfectly honest, but it is also +tedious, to say the least. Never tell a woman how good you are; let her +find it out herself. My Nicholas used only to sing and tell stories when +he was young as you are, and yet every woman knew at once what kind of a +man he was. + +LVOFF. Don't talk to me of your Nicholas; I know all about him! + +ANNA. You are a very worthy man, but you don't know anything at +all. Come into the garden. He never said: "I am an honest man; these +surroundings are too narrow for me." He never spoke of wolves' dens, +called people bears or vultures. He left the animal kingdom alone, and +the most I have ever heard him say when he was excited was: "Oh, how +unjust I have been to-day!" or "Annie, I am sorry for that man." That's +what he would say, but you-- + +ANNA and LVOFF go out. Enter AVDOTIA and FIRST GUEST through the door on +the left. + +FIRST GUEST. There isn't any in the dining-room, so it must be +somewhere in the pantry. We must find George. Come this way, through the +sitting-room. + +AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her! + +They go out through the door on the right. MARTHA and BORKIN run in +laughing from the garden. SHABELSK I comes mincing behind them, laughing +and rubbing his hands. + +MARTHA. Oh, I am so bored! [Laughs loudly] This is deadly! Every one +looks as if he had swallowed a poker. I am frozen to the marrow by this +icy dullness. [She skips about] Let us do something! + +BORKIN catches her by the waist and kisses her cheek. + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing and snapping his fingers] Well, I'll be hanged! +[Cackling] Really, you know! + +MARTHA. Let go! Let go, you wretch! What will the Count think? Stop, I +say! + +BORKIN. Angel! Jewel! Lend me twenty-three hundred roubles. + +MARTHA. Most certainly not! Do what you please, but I'll thank you to +leave my money alone. No, no, no! Oh, let go, will you? + +SHABELSKI. [Mincing around them] The little birdie has its charms! +[Seriously] Come, that will do! + +BORKIN. Let us come to the point, and consider my proposition frankly +as a business arrangement. Answer me honestly, without tricks and +equivocations, do you agree to do it or not? Listen to me; [Pointing +to Shabelski] he needs money to the amount of at least three thousand a +year; you need a husband. Do you want to be a Countess? + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly] Oh, the cynic! + +BORKIN. Do you want to be a Countess or not? + +MARTHA. [Excitedly] Wait a minute; really, Misha, these things aren't +done in a second like this. If the Count wants to marry me, let him ask +me himself, and--and--I don't see, I don't understand--all this is so +sudden---- + +BORKIN. Come, don't let us beat about the bush; this is a business +arrangement. Do you agree or not? + +SHABELSKI. [Chuckling and rubbing his hands] Supposing I do marry her, +eh? Hang it, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? What do you +say, little puss? [He kisses her cheek] Dearest chick-a-biddy! + +MARTHA. Stop! Stop! I hardly know what I am doing. Go away! No--don't +go! + +BORKIN. Answer at once: is it yes or no? We can't stand here forever. + +MARTHA. Look here, Count, come and visit me for three or four days. It +is gay at my house, not like this place. Come to-morrow. [To BORKIN] Or +is this all a joke? + +BORKIN. [Angrily] How could I joke on such a serious subject? + +MARTHA. Wait! Stop! Oh, I feel faint! A Countess! I am fainting, I am +falling! + +BORKIN and SHABELSKI laugh and catch her by the arms. They kiss her +cheeks and lead her out through the door on the right. IVANOFF and SASHA +run in from the garden. + +IVANOFF. [Desperately clutching his head] It can't be true! Don't Sasha, +don't! Oh, I implore you not to! + +SASHA. I love you madly. Without you my life can have no meaning, no +happiness, no hope. + +IVANOFF. Why, why do you say that? What do you mean? Little Sasha, don't +say it! + +SASHA. You were the only joy of my childhood; I loved you body and soul +then, as myself, but now--Oh, I love you, Nicholas! Take me with you to +the ends of the earth, wherever you wish; but for heaven's sake let us +go at once, or I shall die. + +IVANOFF. [Shaking with wild laughter] What is this? Is it the beginning +for me of a new life? Is it, Sasha? Oh, my happiness, my joy! [He draws +her to him] My freshness, my youth! + +Enter ANNA from the garden. She sees her husband and SASHA, and stops as +if petrified. + +IVANOFF. Oh, then I shall live once more? And work? + +IVANOFF and SASHA kiss each other. After the kiss they look around and +see ANNA. + +IVANOFF. [With horror] Sarah! + +The curtain falls. + + + + +ACT III + +Library in IVANOFF'S house. On the walls hang maps, pictures, guns, +pistols, sickles, whips, etc. A writing-table. On it lie in disorder +knick-knacks, papers, books, parcels, and several revolvers. Near +the papers stand a lamp, a decanter of vodka, and a plate of salted +herrings. Pieces of bread and cucumber are scattered about. SHABELSKI +and LEBEDIEFF are sitting at the writing-table. BORKIN is sitting +astride a chair in the middle of the room. PETER is standing near the +door. + +LEBEDIEFF. The policy of France is clear and definite; the French know +what they want: it is to skin those German sausages, but the Germans +must sing another song; France is not the only thorn in their flesh. + +SHABELSKI. Nonsense! In my opinion the Germans are cowards and the +French are the same. They are showing their teeth at one another, but +you can take my word for it, they will not do more than that; they'll +never fight! + +BORKIN. Why should they fight? Why all these congresses, this arming and +expense? Do you know what I would do in their place? I would catch all +the dogs in the kingdom and inoculate them with Pasteur's serum, then I +would let them loose in the enemy's country, and the enemies would all +go mad in a month. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] His head is small, but the great ideas are hidden +away in it like fish in the sea! + +SHABELSKI. Oh, he is a genius. + +LEBEDIEFF. Heaven help you, Misha, you are a funny chap. [He stops +laughing] But how is this, gentlemen? Here we are talking Germany, +Germany, and never a word about vodka! Repetatur! [He fills three +glasses] Here's to you all! [He drinks and eats] This herring is the +best of all relishes. + +SHABELSKI. No, no, these cucumbers are better; every wise man since the +creation of the world has been trying to invent something better than +a salted cucumber, and not one has succeeded. [To PETER] Peter, go and +fetch some more cucumbers. And Peter, tell the cook to make four little +onion pasties, and see that we get them hot. + +PETER goes out. + +LEBEDIEFF. Caviar is good with vodka, but it must be prepared with +skill. Take a quarter of a pound of pressed caviar, two little onions, +and a little olive oil; mix them together and put a slice of lemon on +top--so! Lord! The very perfume would drive you crazy! + +BORKIN. Roast snipe are good too, but they must be cooked right. They +should first be cleaned, then sprinkled with bread crumbs, and roasted +until they will crackle between the teeth--crunch, crunch! + +SHABELSKI. We had something good at Martha's yesterday: white mushrooms. + +LEBEDIEFF. You don't say so! + +SHABELSKI. And they were especially well prepared, too, with onions and +bay-leaves and spices, you know. When the dish was opened, the odour +that floated out was simply intoxicating! + +LEBEDIEFF. What do you say, gentlemen? Repetatur! [He drinks] Good +health to you! [He looks at his watch] I must be going. I can't wait for +Nicholas. So you say Martha gave you mushrooms? We haven't seen one at +home. Will you please tell me, Count, what plot you are hatching that +takes you to Martha's so often? + +SHABELSKI. [Nodding at BORKIN] He wants me to marry her. + +LEBEDIEFF. Wants you to marry her! How old are you? + +SHABELSKI. Sixty-two. + +LEBEDIEFF. Really, you are just the age to marry, aren't you? And Martha +is just suited to you! + +BORKIN. This is not a question of Martha, but of Martha's money. + +LEBEDIEFF. Aren't you moonstruck, and don't you want the moon too? + +SHABELSKI. Borkin here is quite in earnest about it; the clever fellow +is sure I shall obey orders, and marry Martha. + +BORKIN. What do you mean? Aren't you sure yourself? + +SHABELSKI. Are you mad? I never was sure of anything. Bah! + +BORKIN. Many thanks! I am much obliged to you for the information. So +you are trying to fool me, are you? First you say you will marry Martha +and then you say you won't; the devil only knows which you really +mean, but I have given her my word of honour that you will. So you have +changed your mind, have you? + +SHABELSKI. He is actually in earnest; what an extraordinary man! + +BORKIN. [losing his temper] If that is how you feel about it, why have +you turned an honest woman's head? Her heart is set on your title, and +she can neither eat nor sleep for thinking of it. How can you make a +jest of such things? Do you think such behaviour is honourable? + +SHABELSKI. [Snapping his fingers] Well, why not play her this shabby +trick, after all? Eh? Just out of spite? I shall certainly do it, upon +my word I shall! What a joke it will be! + +Enter LVOFF. + +LEBEDIEFF. We bow before you, Aesculapius! [He shakes hands with LVOFF +and sings] + + "Doctor, doctor, save, oh, save me, + I am scared to death of dying!" + +LVOFF. Hasn't Ivanoff come home yet? + +LEBEDIEFF. Not yet. I have been waiting for him myself for over an hour. + +LVOFF walks impatiently up and down. + +LEBEDIEFF. How is Anna to-day? + +LVOFF. Very ill. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Sighing] May one go and pay one's respects to her? + +LVOFF. No, please don't. She is asleep, I believe. + +LEBEDIEFF. She is a lovely, charming woman. [Sighing] The day she +fainted at our house, on Sasha's birthday, I saw that she had not much +longer to live, poor thing. Let me see, why did she faint? When I ran +up, she was lying on the floor, ashy white, with Nicholas on his knees +beside her, and Sasha was standing by them in tears. Sasha and I went +about almost crazy for a week after that. + +SHABELSKI. [To LVOFF] Tell me, most honoured disciple of science, what +scholar discovered that the frequent visits of a young doctor were +beneficial to ladies suffering from affections of the chest? It is +a remarkable discovery, remarkable! Would you call such treatment +Allopathic or Homeopathic? + +LVOFF tries to answer, but makes an impatient gesture instead, and walks +out of the room. + +SHABELSKI. What a withering look he gave me! + +LEBEDIEFF. Some fiend must prompt you to say such things! Why did you +offend him? + +SHABELSKI. [Angrily] Why does he tell such lies? Consumption! No hope! +She is dying! It is nonsense, I can't abide him! + +LEBEDIEFF. What makes you think he is lying? + +SHABELSKI. [Gets up and walks up and down] I can't bear to think that a +living person could die like that, suddenly, without any reason at all. +Don't let us talk about it! + +KOSICH runs in panting. + +KOSICH. Is Ivanoff at home? How do you do? [He shakes hands quickly all +round] Is he at home? + +BORKIN. No, he isn't. + +KOSICH. [Sits down and jumps up again] In that case I must say goodbye; +I must be going. Business, you know. I am absolutely exhausted; run off +my feet! + +LEBEDIEFF. Where did you blow in from? + +KOSICH. From Barabanoff's. He and I have been playing cards all +night; we have only just stopped. I have been absolutely fleeced; that +Barabanoff is a demon at cards. [In a tearful voice] Just listen to +this: I had a heart and he [He turns to BORKIN, who jumps away from him] +led a diamond, and I led a heart, and he led another diamond. Well, he +didn't take the trick. [To LEBEDIEFF] We were playing three in clubs. I +had the ace and queen, and the ace and ten of spades-- + +LEBEDIEFF. [Stopping up his ears] Spare me, for heaven's sake, spare me! + +KOSICH. [To SHABELSKI] Do you understand? I had the ace and queen of +clubs, the ace and ten of spades. + +SHABELSKI. [Pushes him away] Go away, I don't want to listen to you! + +KOSICH. When suddenly misfortune overtook me. My ace of spades took the +first trick-- + +SHABELSKI. [Snatching up a revolver] Leave the room, or I shall shoot! + +KOSICH. [Waving his hands] What does this mean? Is this the Australian +bush, where no one has any interests in common? Where there is no public +spirit, and each man lives for himself alone? However, I must be off. My +time is precious. [He shakes hands with LEBEDIEFF] Pass! + +General laughter. KOSICH goes out. In the doorway he runs into AVDOTIA. + +AVDOTIA. [Shrieks] Bad luck to you, you nearly knocked me down. + +ALL. Oh, she is always everywhere at once! + +AVDOTIA. So this is where you all are? I have been looking for you all +over the house. Good-day to you, boys! + +[She shakes hands with everybody.] + +LEBEDIEFF. What brings you here? + +AVDOTIA. Business, my son. [To SHABELSKI] Business connected with your +highness. She commanded me to bow. [She bows] And to inquire after your +health. She told me to say, the little birdie, that if you did not come +to see her this evening she would cry her eyes out. Take him aside, +she said, and whisper in his ear. But why should I make a secret of her +message? We are not stealing chickens, but arranging an affair of lawful +love by mutual consent of both parties. And now, although I never drink, +I shall take a drop under these circumstances. + +LEBEDIEFF. So shall I. [He pours out the vodka] You must be immortal, +you old magpie! You were an old woman when I first knew you, thirty +years ago. + +AVDOTIA. I have lost count of the years. I have buried three husbands, +and would have married a fourth if any one had wanted a woman without a +dowry. I have had eight children. [She takes up the glass] Well, we have +begun a good work, may it come to a good end! They will live happily +ever after, and we shall enjoy their happiness. Love and good luck to +them both! [She drinks] This is strong vodka! + +SHABELSKI. [laughing loudly, to LEBEDIEFF] The funny thing is, they +actually think I am in earnest. How strange! [He gets up] And yet, Paul, +why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? Just out of spite? To give +the devil something to do, eh, Paul? + +LEBEDIEFF. You are talking nonsense, Count. You and I must fix our +thoughts on dying now; we have left Martha's money far behind us; our +day is over. + +SHABELSKI. No, I shall certainly marry her; upon my word, I shall! + +Enter IVANOFF and LVOFF. + +LVOFF. Will you please spare me five minutes of your time? + +LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Nicholas! [He goes to meet IVANOFF] How are you, old +friend? I have been waiting an hour for you. + +AVDOTIA. [Bows] How do you do, my son? + +IVANOFF. [Bitterly] So you have turned my library into a bar-room again, +have you? And yet I have begged you all a thousand times not to do so! +[He goes up to the table] There, you see, you have spilt vodka all +over my papers and scattered crumbs and cucumbers everywhere! It is +disgusting! + +LEBEDIEFF. I beg your pardon, Nicholas. Please forgive me. I have +something very important to speak to you about. + +BORKIN. So have I. + +LVOFF. May I have a word with you? + +IVANOFF. [Pointing to LEBEDIEFF] He wants to speak to me; wait a minute. +[To LEBEDIEFF] Well, what is it? + +LEBEDIEFF. [To the others] Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I want to +speak to him in private. + +SHABELSKI goes out, followed by AVDOTIA, BORKIN, and LVOFF. + +IVANOFF. Paul, you may drink yourself as much as you choose, it is your +weakness, but I must ask you not to make my uncle tipsy. He never used +to drink at all; it is bad for him. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Startled] My dear boy, I didn't know that! I wasn't thinking +of him at all. + +IVANOFF. If this old baby should die on my hands the blame would be +mine, not yours. Now, what do you want? [A pause.] + +LEBEDIEFF. The fact is, Nicholas--I really don't know how I can put +it to make it seem less brutal--Nicholas, I am ashamed of myself, I am +blushing, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. My dear boy, put +yourself in my place; remember that I am not a free man, I am as putty +in the hands of my wife, a slave--forgive me! + +IVANOFF. What does this mean? + +LEBEDIEFF. My wife has sent me to you; do me a favour, be a friend to +me, pay her the interest on the money you owe her. Believe me, she has +been tormenting me and going for me tooth and nail. For heaven's sake, +free yourself from her clutches! + +IVANOFF. You know, Paul, that I have no money now. + +LEBEDIEFF. I know, I know, but what can I do? She won't wait. If she +should sue you for the money, how could Sasha and I ever look you in the +face again? + +IVANOFF. I am ready to sink through the floor with shame, Paul, but +where, where shall I get the money? Tell me, where? There is nothing I +can do but to wait until I sell my wheat in the autumn. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Shrieks] But she won't wait! [A pause.] + +IVANOFF. Your position is very delicate and unpleasant, but mine is +even worse. [He walks up and down in deep thought] I am at my wit's end, +there is nothing I can sell now. + +LEBEDIEFF. You might go to Mulbach and get some money from him; doesn't +he owe you sixty thousand roubles? + +IVANOFF makes a despairing gesture. + +LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas, I know you will be angry, but you +must forgive an old drunkard like me. This is between friends; remember +I am your friend. We were students together, both Liberals; we had the +same interests and ideals; we studied together at the University of +Moscow. It is our Alma Mater. [He takes out his purse] I have a private +fund here; not a soul at home knows of its existence. Let me lend it +to you. [He takes out the money and lays it on the table] Forget your +pride; this is between friends! I should take it from you, indeed I +should! [A pause] There is the money, one hundred thousand roubles. Take +it; go to her y ourself and say: "Take the money, Zinaida, and may you +choke on it." Only, for heaven's sake, don't let her see by your manner +that you got it from me, or she would certainly go for me, with her old +jam! [He looks intently into IVANOFF'S face] There, there, no matter. +[He quickly takes up the money and stuffs it back into his pocket] Don't +take it, I was only joking. Forgive me! Are you hurt? + +IVANOFF waves his hand. + +LEBEDIEFF. Yes, the truth is--[He sighs] This is a time of sorrow and +pain for you. A man, brother, is like a samovar; he cannot always stand +coolly on a shelf; hot coals will be dropped into him some day, and +then--fizz! The comparison is idiotic, but it is the best I can think +of. [Sighing] Misfortunes wring the soul, and yet I am not worried about +you, brother. Wheat goes through the mill, and comes out as flour, and +you will come safely through your troubles; but I am annoyed, Nicholas, +and angry with the people around you. The whole countryside is buzzing +with gossip; where does it all start? They say you will be soon arrested +for your debts, that you are a bloodthirsty murderer, a monster of +cruelty, a robber. + +IVANOFF. All that is nothing to me; my head is aching. + +LEBEDIEFF. Because you think so much. + +IVANOFF. I never think. + +LEBEDIEFF. Come, Nicholas, snap your fingers at the whole thing, and +drive over to visit us. Sasha loves and understands you. She is a sweet, +honest, lovely girl; too good to be the child of her mother and me! +Sometimes, when I look at her, I cannot believe that such a treasure +could belong to a fat old drunkard like me. Go to her, talk to her, and +let her cheer you. She is a good, true-hearted girl. + +IVANOFF. Paul, my dear friend, please go, and leave me alone. + +LEBEDIEFF. I understand, I understand! [He glances at his watch] Yes, I +understand. [He kisses IVANOFF] Good-bye, I must go to the blessing +of the school now. [He goes as far as the door, then stops] She is so +clever! Sasha and I were talking about gossiping yesterday, and she +flashed out this epigram: "Father," she said, "fire-flies shine at night +so that the night-birds may make them their prey, and good people are +made to be preyed upon by gossips and slanderers." What do you think of +that? She is a genius, another George Sand! + +IVANOFF. [Stopping him as he goes out] Paul, what is the matter with me? + +LEBEDIEFF. I have wanted to ask you that myself, but I must confess I +was ashamed to. I don't know, old chap. Sometimes I think your troubles +have been too heavy for you, and yet I know you are not the kind to +give in to them; you would not be overcome by misfortune. It must be +something else, Nicholas, but what it may be I can't imagine. + +IVANOFF. I can't imagine either what the matter is, unless--and yet +no--[A pause] Well, do you see, this is what I wanted to say. I used to +have a workman called Simon, you remember him. Once, at threshing-time, +to show the girls how strong he was, he loaded himself with two sacks +of rye, and broke his back. He died soon after. I think I have broken my +back also. First I went to school, then to the university, then came the +cares of this estate, all my plans--I did not believe what others did; +did not marry as others did; I worked passionately, risked everything; +no one else, as you know, threw their money away to right and left as I +did. So I heaped the burdens on my back, and it broke. We are all heroes +at twenty, ready to attack anything, to do everything, and at thirty are +worn-out, useless men. How, oh, how do you account for this weariness? +However, I may be quite wrong; go away, Paul, I am boring you. + +LEBEDIEFF. I know what is the matter with you, old man: you got out of +bed on the wrong side this morning. + +IVANOFF. That is stupid, Paul, and stale. Go away! + +LEBEDIEFF. It is stupid, certainly. I see that myself now. I am going at +once. [LEBEDIEFF goes out.] + +IVANOFF. [Alone] I am a worthless, miserable, useless man. Only a man +equally miserable and suffering, as Paul is, could love or esteem me +now. Good God! How I loathe myself! How bitterly I hate my voice, my +hands, my thoughts, these clothes, each step I take! How ridiculous it +is, how disgusting! Less than a year ago I was healthy and strong, full +of pride and energy and enthusiasm. I worked with these hands here, and +my words could move the dullest man to tears. I could weep with sorrow, +and grow indignant at the sight of wrong. I could feel the glow of +inspiration, and understand the beauty and romance of the silent nights +which I used to watch through from evening until dawn, sitting at my +worktable, and giving up my soul to dreams. I believed in a bright +future then, and looked into it as trustfully as a child looks into its +mother's eyes. And now, oh, it is terrible! I am tired and without hope; +I spend my days and nights in idleness; I have no control over my feet +or brain. My estate is ruined, my woods are falling under the blows of +the axe. [He weeps] My neglected land looks up at me as reproachfully +as an orphan. I expect nothing, am sorry for nothing; my whole soul +trembles at the thought of each new day. And what can I think of my +treatment of Sarah? I promised her love and happiness forever; I opened +her eyes to the promise of a future such as she had never even dreamed +of. She believed me, and though for five years I have seen her sinking +under the weight of her sacrifices to me, and losing her strength in +her struggles with her conscience, God knows she has never given me one +angry look, or uttered one word of reproach. What is the result? That I +don't love her! Why? Is it possible? Can it be true? I can't understand. +She is suffering; her days are numbered; yet I fly like a contemptible +coward from her white face, her sunken chest, her pleading eyes. Oh, I +am ashamed, ashamed! [A pause] Sasha, a young girl, is sorry for me in +my misery. She confesses to me that she loves me; me, almost an old man! +Whereupon I lose my head, and exalted as if by music, I yell: "Hurrah +for a new life and new happiness!" Next day I believe in this new life +and happiness as little as I believe in my happiness at home. What is +the matter with me? What is this pit I am wallowing in? What is the +cause of this weakness? What does this nervousness come from? If my sick +wife wounds my pride, if a servant makes a mistake, if my gun misses +fire, I lose my temper and get violent and altogether unlike myself. +I can't, I can't understand it; the easiest way out would be a bullet +through the head! + +Enter LVOFF. + +LVOFF. I must have an explanation with you, Ivanoff. + +IVANOFF. If we are going to have an explanation every day, doctor, we +shall neither of us have the strength to stand it. + +LVOFF. Will you be good enough to hear me? + +IVANOFF. I have heard all you have told me every day, and have failed to +discover yet what you want me to do. + +LVOFF. I have always spoken plainly enough, and only an utterly +heartless and cruel man could fail to understand me. + +IVANOFF. I know that my wife is dying; I know that I have sinned +irreparably; I know that you are an honest man. What more can you tell +me? + +LVOFF. The sight of human cruelty maddens me. The woman is dying and +she has a mother and father whom she loves, and longs to see once more +before she dies. They know that she is dying and that she loves them +still, but with diabolical cruelty, as if to flaunt their religious +zeal, they refuse to see her and forgive her. You are the man for whom +she has sacrificed her home, her peace of mind, everything. Yet you +unblushingly go gadding to the Lebedieffs' every evening, for reasons +that are absolutely unmistakable! + +IVANOFF. Ah me, it is two weeks since I was there! + +LVOFF. [Not listening to him] To men like yourself one must speak +plainly, and if you don't want to hear what I have to say, you need not +listen. I always call a spade a spade; the truth is, you want her to +die so that the way may be cleared for your other schemes. Be it so; +but can't you wait? If, instead of crushing the life out of your wife by +your heartless egoism, you let her die naturally, do you think you would +lose Sasha and Sasha's money? Such an absolute Tartuffe as you are could +turn the girl's head and get her money a year from now as easily as you +can to-day. Why are you in such a hurry? Why do you want your wife to +die now, instead of in a month's time, or a year's? + +IVANOFF. This is torture! You are a very bad doctor if you think a +man can control himself forever. It is all I can do not to answer your +insults. + +LVOFF. Look here, whom are you trying to deceive? Throw off this +disguise! + +IVANOFF. You who are so clever, you think that nothing in the world is +easier than to understand me, do you? I married Annie for her money, did +I? And when her parents wouldn't give it to me, I changed my plans, and +am now hustling her out of the world so that I may marry another woman, +who will bring me what I want? You think so, do you? Oh, how easy and +simple it all is! But you are mistaken, doctor; in each one of us there +are too many springs, too many wheels and cogs for us to judge each +other by first impressions or by two or three external indications. I +can not understand you, you cannot understand me, and neither of us can +understand himself. A man may be a splendid doctor, and at the same time +a very bad judge of human nature; you will admit that, unless you are +too self-confident. + +LVOFF. Do you really think that your character is so mysterious, and +that I am too stupid to tell vice from virtue? + +IVANOFF. It is clear that we shall never agree, so let me beg you to +answer me now without any more preamble: exactly what do you want me to +do? [Angrily] What are you after anyway? And with whom have I the honour +of speaking? With my lawyer, or with my wife's doctor? + +LVOFF. I am a doctor, and as such I demand that you change your conduct +toward your wife; it is killing her. + +IVANOFF. What shall I do? Tell me! If you understand me so much better +than I understand myself, for heaven's sake tell me exactly what to do! + +LVOFF. In the first place, don't be so unguarded in your behaviour. + +IVANOFF. Heaven help me, do you mean to say that you understand +yourself? [He drinks some water] Now go away; I am guilty a thousand +times over; I shall answer for my sins before God; but nothing has given +you the right to torture me daily as you do. + +LVOFF. Who has given you the right to insult my sense of honour? You +have maddened and poisoned my soul. Before I came to this place I knew +that stupid, crazy, deluded people existed, but I never imagined that +any one could be so criminal as to turn his mind deliberately in the +direction of wickedness. I loved and esteemed humanity then, but since I +have known you-- + +IVANOFF. I have heard all that before. + +LVOFF. You have, have you? + +He goes out, shrugging his shoulders. He sees SASHA, who comes in at +this moment dressed for riding. + +LVOFF. Now, however, I hope that we can understand one another! + +IVANOFF. [Startled] Oh, Sasha, is that you? + +SASHA. Yes, it is I. How are you? You didn't expect me, did you? Why +haven't you been to see us? + +IVANOFF. Sasha, this is really imprudent of you! Your coming will have a +terrible effect on my wife! + +SASHA. She won't see me; I came in by the back entrance; I shall go in +a minute. I am so anxious about you. Tell me, are you well? Why haven't +you been to see us for such a long time? + +IVANOFF. My wife is offended already, and almost dying, and now you come +here; Sasha, Sasha, this is thoughtless and unkind of you. + +SASHA. How could I help coming? It is two weeks since you were at our +house, and you have not answered my letters. I imagined you suffering +dreadfully, or ill, or dead. I have not slept for nights. I am going +now, but first tell me that you are well. + +IVANOFF. No, I am not well. I am a torment to myself, and every one +torments me without end. I can't stand it! And now you come here. How +morbid and unnatural it all is, Sasha. I am terribly guilty. + +SASHA. What dreadful, pitiful speeches you make! So you are guilty, are +you? Tell me, then, what is it you have done? + +IVANOFF I don't know; I don't know! + +SASHA. That is no answer. Every sinner should know what he is guilty of. +Perhaps you have been forging money? + +IVANOFF. That is stupid. + +SASHA. Or are you guilty because you no longer love your wife? Perhaps +you are, but no one is master of his feelings, and you did not mean to +stop loving her. Do you feel guilty because she saw me telling you that +I love you? No, that cannot be, because you did not want her to see it-- + +IVANOFF. [Interrupting her] And so on, and so on! First you say I love, +and then you say I don't; that I am not master of my feelings. All these +are commonplace, worn-out sentiments, with which you cannot help me. + +SASHA. It is impossible to talk to you. [She looks at a picture on the +wall] How well those dogs are drawn! Were they done from life? + +IVANOFF. Yes, from life. And this whole romance of ours is a tedious +old story; a man loses heart and begins to go down in the world; a girl +appears, brave and strong of heart, and gives him a hand to help him +to rise again. Such situations are pretty, but they are only found in +novels and not in real life. + +SASHA. No, they are found in real life too. + +IVANOFF. Now I see how well you understand real life! My sufferings seem +noble to you; you imagine you have discovered in me a second Hamlet; +but my state of mind in all its phases is only fit to furnish food for +contempt and derision. My contortions are ridiculous enough to make any +one die of laughter, and you want to play the guardian angel; you want +to do a noble deed and save me. Oh, how I hate myself to-day! I feel +that this tension must soon be relieved in some way. Either I shall +break something, or else-- + +SASHA. That is exactly what you need. Let yourself go! Smash something; +break it to pieces; give a yell! You are angry with me, it was foolish +of me to come here. Very well, then, get excited about it; storm at me; +stamp your feet! Well, aren't you getting angry? + +IVANOFF. You ridiculous girl! + +SASHA. Splendid! So we are smiling at last! Be kind, do me the favour of +smiling once more! + +IVANOFF. [Laughing] I have noticed that whenever you start reforming +me and saving my soul, and teaching me how to be good, your face grows +naive, oh so naive, and your eyes grow as wide as if you were looking at +a comet. Wait a moment; your shoulder is covered with dust. [He brushes +her shoulder] A naive man is nothing better than a fool, but you women +contrive to be naive in such a way that in you it seems sweet, and +gentle, and proper, and not as silly as it really is. What a strange way +you have, though, of ignoring a man as long as he is well and happy, +and fastening yourselves to him as soon as he begins to whine and go +down-hill! Do you actually think it is worse to be the wife of a strong +man than to nurse some whimpering invalid? + +SASHA. Yes, it is worse. + +IVANOFF. Why do you think so? [Laughing loudly] It is a good thing +Darwin can't hear what you are saying! He would be furious with you for +degrading the human race. Soon, thanks to your kindness, only invalids +and hypochondriacs will be born into the world. + +SASHA. There are a great many things a man cannot understand. Any girl +would rather love an unfortunate man than a fortunate one, because every +girl would like to do something by loving. A man has his work to do, and +so for him love is kept in the background. To talk to his wife, to walk +with her in the garden, to pass the time pleasantly with her, that is +all that love means to a man. But for us, love means life. I love you; +that means that I dream only of how I shall cure you of your sadness, +how I shall go with you to the ends of the earth. If you are in heaven, +I am in heaven; if you are in the pit, I am in the pit. For instance, it +would be the greatest happiness for me to write all night for you, or to +watch all night that no one should wake you. I remember that three years +ago, at threshing time, you came to us all dusty and sunburnt and tired, +and asked for a drink. When I brought you a glass of water you were +already lying on the sofa and sleeping like a dead man. You slept there +for half a day, and all that time I watched by the door that no one +should disturb you. How happy I was! The more a girl can do, the greater +her love will be; that is, I mean, the more she feels it. + +IVANOFF. The love that accomplishes things--hm--that is a fairy tale, +a girl's dream; and yet, perhaps it is as it should be. [He shrugs his +shoulders] How can I tell? [Gaily] On my honour, Sasha, I really am +quite a respectable man. Judge for yourself: I have always liked to +discuss things, but I have never in my life said that our women were +corrupt, or that such and such a woman was on the down-hill path. I have +always been grateful, and nothing more. No, nothing more. Dear child, +how comical you are! And what a ridiculous old stupid I am! I shock all +good Christian folk, and go about complaining from morning to night. +[He laughs and then leaves her suddenly] But you must go, Sasha; we have +forgotten ourselves. + +SASHA. Yes, it is time to go. Good-bye. I am afraid that that honest +doctor of yours will have told Anna out of a sense of duty that I am +here. Take my advice: go at once to your wife and stay with her. Stay, +and stay, and stay, and if it should be for a year, you must still +stay, or for ten years. It is your duty. You must repent, and ask her +forgiveness, and weep. That is what you ought to do, and the great thing +is not to forget to do right. + +IVANOFF. Again I feel as if I were going crazy; again! + +SASHA. Well, heaven help you! You must forget me entirely. In two weeks +you must send me a line and I shall be content with that. But I shall +write to you-- + +BORKIN looks in at the door. + +BORKIN. Ivanoff, may I come in? [He sees SASHA] I beg your pardon, I did +not see you. Bonjour! [He bows.] + +SASHA. [Embarrassed] How do you do? + +BORKIN. You are plumper and prettier than ever. + +SASHA. [To IVANOFF] I must go, Nicholas, I must go. [She goes out.] + +BORKIN. What a beautiful apparition! I came expecting prose and found +poetry instead. [Sings] + +"You showed yourself to the world as a bird----" + +IVANOFF walks excitedly up and down. + +BORKIN. [Sits down] There is something in her, Nicholas, that one +doesn't find in other women, isn't there? An elfin strangeness. [He +sighs] Although she is without doubt the richest girl in the country, +her mother is so stingy that no one will have her. After her mother's +death Sasha will have the whole fortune, but until then she will only +give her ten thousand roubles and an old flat-iron, and to get that she +will have to humble herself to the ground. [He feels in his pockets] +Will you have a smoke? [He offers IVANOFF his cigarette case] These are +very good. + +IVANOFF. [Comes toward BORKIN stifled with rage] Leave my house this +instant, and don't you ever dare to set foot in it again! Go this +instant! + +BORKIN gets up and drops his cigarette. + +IVANOFF. Go at once! + +BORKIN. Nicholas, what do you mean? Why are you so angry? + +IVANOFF. Why! Where did you get those cigarettes? Where? You think +perhaps that I don't know where you take the old man every day, and for +what purpose? + +BORKIN. [Shrugs his shoulders] What business is it of yours? + +IVANOFF. You blackguard, you! The disgraceful rumours that you have been +spreading about me have made me disreputable in the eyes of the whole +countryside. You and I have nothing in common, and I ask you to leave my +house this instant. + +BORKIN. I know that you are saying all this in a moment of irritation, +and so I am not angry with you. Insult me as much as you please. [He +picks up his cigarette] It is time though, to shake off this melancholy +of yours; you're not a schoolboy. + +IVANOFF. What did I tell you? [Shuddering] Are you making fun of me? + +Enter ANNA. + +BORKIN. There now, there comes Anna! I shall go. + +IVANOFF stops near the table and stands with his head bowed. + +ANNA. [After a pause] What did she come here for? What did she come here +for, I ask you? + +IVANOFF. Don't ask me, Annie. [A pause] I am terribly guilty. Think +of any punishment you want to inflict on me; I can stand anything, but +don't, oh, don't ask questions! + +ANNA. [Angrily] So that is the sort of man you are? Now I understand +you, and can see how degraded, how dishonourable you are! Do you +remember that you came to me once and lied to me about your love? I +believed you, and left my mother, my father, and my faith to follow you. +Yes, you lied to me of goodness and honour, of your noble aspirations +and I believed every word---- + +IVANOFF. I have never lied to you, Annie. + +ANNA. I have lived with you five years now, and I am tired and ill, but +I have always loved you and have never left you for a moment. You +have been my idol, and what have you done? All this time you have been +deceiving me in the most dastardly way---- + +IVANOFF. Annie, don't say what isn't so. I have made mistakes, but I +have never told a lie in my life. You dare not accuse me of that! + +ANNA. It is all clear to me now. You married me because you expected my +mother and father to forgive me and give you my money; that is what you +expected. + +IVANOFF. Good Lord, Annie! If I must suffer like this, I must have the +patience to bear it. [He begins to weep.] + +ANNA. Be quiet! When you found that I wasn't bringing you any money, +you tried another game. Now I remember and understand everything. [She +begins to cry] You have never loved me or been faithful to me--never! + +IVANOFF. Sarah! That is a lie! Say what you want, but don't insult me +with a lie! + +ANNA. You dishonest, degraded man! You owe money to Lebedieff, and now, +to escape paying your debts, you are trying to turn the head of his +daughter and betray her as you have betrayed me. Can you deny it? + +IVANOFF. [Stifled with rage] For heaven's sake, be quiet! I can't answer +for what I may do! I am choking with rage and I--I might insult you! + +ANNA. I am not the only one whom you have basely deceived. You have +always blamed Borkin for all your dishonest tricks, but now I know whose +they are. + +IVANOFF. Sarah, stop at once and go away, or else I shall say something +terrible. I long to say a dreadful, cruel thing [He shrieks] Hold your +tongue, Jewess! + +ANNA. I won't hold my tongue! You have deceived me too long for me to be +silent now. + +IVANOFF. So you won't be quiet? [He struggles with himself] Go, for +heaven's sake! + +ANNA. Go now, and betray Sasha! + +IVANOFF. Know then that you--are dying! The doctor told me that you are +dying. + +ANNA. [Sits down and speaks in a low voice] When did he + +IVANOFF. [Clutches his head with both hands] Oh, how guilty I am--how +guilty! [He sobs.] + +The curtain falls. + +About a year passes between the third and fourth acts. + + + + +ACT IV + +A sitting-room in LEBEDIEFF'S house. In the middle of the wall at the +back of the room is an arch dividing the sitting-room from the ballroom. +To the right and left are doors. Some old bronzes are placed about the +room; family portraits are hanging on the walls. Everything is arranged +as if for some festivity. On the piano lies a violin; near it stands a +violoncello. During the entire act guests, dressed as for a ball, are +seen walking about in the ball-room. + +Enter LVOFF, looking at his watch. + +LVOFF. It is five o'clock. The ceremony must have begun. First the +priest will bless them, and then they will be led to the church to be +married. Is this how virtue and justice triumph? Not being able to rob +Sarah, he has tortured her to death; and now he has found another victim +whom he will deceive until he has robbed her, and then he will get rid +of her as he got rid of poor Sarah. It is the same old sordid story. +[A pause] He will live to a fine old age in the seventh heaven of +happiness, and will die with a clear conscience. No, Ivanoff, it shall +not be! I shall drag your villainy to light! And when I tear off that +accursed mask of yours and show you to the world as the blackguard you +are, you shall come plunging down headfirst from your seventh heaven, +into a pit so deep that the devil himself will not be able to drag you +out of it! I am a man of honour; it is my duty to interfere in such +cases as yours, and to open the eyes of the blind. I shall fulfil my +mission, and to-morrow will find me far away from this accursed +place. [Thoughtfully] But what shall I do? To have an explanation +with Lebedieff would be a hopeless task. Shall I make a scandal, and +challenge Ivanoff to a duel? I am as excited as a child, and have +entirely lost the power of planning anything. What shall I do? Shall I +fight a duel? + +Enter KOSICH. He goes gaily up to LVOFF. + +KOSICH. I declared a little slam in clubs yesterday, and made a grand +slam! Only that man Barabanoff spoilt the whole game for me again. +We were playing--well, I said "No trumps" and he said "Pass." "Two in +clubs," he passed again. I made it two in hearts. He said "Three in +clubs," and just imagine, can you, what happened? I declared a little +slam and he never showed his ace! If he had showed his ace, the villain, +I should have declared a grand slam in no trumps! + +LVOFF. Excuse me, I don't play cards, and so it is impossible for me to +share your enthusiasm. When does the ceremony begin? + +KOSICH. At once, I think. They are now bringing Zuzu to herself again. +She is bellowing like a bull; she can't bear to see the money go. + +LVOFF. And what about the daughter? + +KOSICH. No, it is the money. She doesn't like this affair anyway. He is +marrying her daughter, and that means he won't pay his debts for a long +time. One can't sue one's son-in-law. + +MARTHA, very much dressed up, struts across the stage past LVOFF and +KOSICH. The latter bursts out laughing behind his hand. MARTHA looks +around. + +MARTHA. Idiot! + +KOSICH digs her in the ribs and laughs loudly. + +MARTHA. Boor! + +KOSICH. [Laughing] The woman's head has been turned. Before she fixed +her eye on a title she was like any other woman, but there is no coming +near her now! [Angrily] A boor, indeed! + +LVOFF. [Excitedly] Listen to me; tell me honestly, what do you think of +Ivanoff? + +KOSICH. He's no good at all. He plays cards like a lunatic. This is what +happened last year during Lent: I, the Count, Borkin and he, sat down to +a game of cards. I led a---- + +LVOFF [Interrupting him] Is he a good man? + +KOSICH. He? Yes, he's a good one! He and the Count are a pair of trumps. +They have keen noses for a good game. First, Ivanoff set his heart on +the Jewess, then, when his schemes failed in that quarter, he turned his +thoughts toward Zuzu's money-bags. I'll wager you he'll ruin Zuzu in +a year. He will ruin Zuzu, and the Count will ruin Martha. They will +gather up all the money they can lay hands on, and live happily ever +after! But, doctor, why are you so pale to-day? You look like a ghost. + +LVOFF. Oh, it's nothing. I drank a little too much yesterday. + +Enter LEBEDIEFF with SASHA. + +LEBEDIEFF. We can have our talk here. [To LVOFF and KOSICH] Go into the +ball-room, you two old fogies, and talk to the girls. Sasha and I want +to talk alone here. + +KOSICH. [Snapping his fingers enthusiastically as he goes by SASHA] What +a picture! A queen of trumps! + +LEBEDIEFF. Go along, you old cave-dweller; go along. + +KOSICH and LVOFF go out. + +LEBEDIEFF. Sit down, Sasha, there--[He sits down and looks about him] +Listen to me attentively and with proper respect. The fact is, your +mother has asked me to say this, do you understand? I am not speaking +for myself. Your mother told me to speak to you. + +SASHA. Papa, do say it briefly! + +LEBEDIEFF. When you are married we mean to give you fifteen thousand +roubles. Please don't let us have any discussion about it afterward. +Wait, now! Be quiet! That is only the beginning. The best is yet +to come. We have allotted you fifteen thousand roubles, but in +consideration of the fact that Nicholas owes your mother nine thousand, +that sum will have to be deducted from the amount we mean to give you. +Very well. Now, beside that---- + +SASHA. Why do you tell me all this? + +LEBEDIEFF. Your mother told me to. + +SASHA. Leave me in peace! If you had any respect for yourself or me you +could not permit yourself to speak to me in this way. I don't want your +money! I have not asked for it, and never shall. + +LEBEDIEFF. What are you attacking me for? The two rats in Gogol's fable +sniffed first and then ran away, but you attack without even sniffing. + +SASHA. Leave me in peace, and do not offend my ears with your two-penny +calculations. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Losing his temper] Bah! You all, every one of you, do all +you can to make me cut my throat or kill somebody. One of you screeches +and fusses all day and counts every penny, and the other is so clever +and humane and emancipated that she cannot understand her own father! +I offend your ears, do I? Don't you realise that before I came here to +offend your ears I was being torn to pieces over there, [He points to +the door] literally drawn and quartered? So you cannot understand? You +two have addled my brain till I am utterly at my wits' end; indeed I am! +[He goes toward the door, and stops] I don't like this business at all; +I don't like any thing about you-- + +SASHA. What is it, especially, that you don't like? + +LEBEDIEFF. Everything, everything! + +SASHA. What do you mean by everything? + +LEBEDIEFF. Let me explain exactly what I mean. Everything displeases me. +As for your marriage, I simply can't abide it. [He goes up to SASHA and +speaks caressingly] Forgive me, little Sasha, this marriage may be a +wise one; it may be honest and not misguided, nevertheless, there is +something about the whole affair that is not right; no, not right! You +are not marrying as other girls do; you are young and fresh and pure +as a drop of water, and he is a widower, battered and worn. Heaven help +him. I don't understand him at all. [He kisses his daughter] Forgive +me for saying so, Sasha, but I am sure there is something crooked about +this affair; it is making a great deal of talk. It seems people are +saying that first Sarah died, and then suddenly Ivanoff wanted to marry +you. [Quickly] But, no, I am like an old woman; I am gossiping like a +magpie. You must not listen to me or any one, only to your own heart. + +SASHA. Papa, I feel myself that there is something wrong about my +marriage. Something wrong, yes, wrong! Oh, if you only knew how heavy +my heart is; this is unbearable! I am frightened and ashamed to confess +this; Papa darling, you must help me, for heaven's sake. Oh, can't you +tell me what I should do? + +LEBEDIEFF. What is the matter, Sasha, what is it? + +SASHA. I am so frightened, more frightened than I have ever been before. +[She glances around her] I cannot understand him now, and I never shall. +He has not smiled or looked straight into my eyes once since we have +been engaged. He is forever complaining and apologising for something; +hinting at some crime he is guilty of, and trembling. I am so tired! +There are even moments when I think--I think--that I do not love him as +I should, and when he comes to see us, or talks to me, I get so tired! +What does it mean, dear father? I am afraid. + +LEBEDIEFF. My darling, my only child, do as your old father advises you; +give him up! + +SASHA. [Frightened] Oh! How can you say that? + +LEBEDIEFF. Yes, do it, little Sasha! It will make a scandal, all the +tongues in the country will be wagging about it, but it is better to +live down a scandal than to ruin one's life. + +SASHA. Don't say that, father. Oh, don't. I refuse to listen! I must +crush such gloomy thoughts. He is good and unhappy and misunderstood. I +shall love him and learn to understand him. I shall set him on his feet +again. I shall do my duty. That is settled. + +LEBEDIEFF. This is not your duty, but a delusion-- + +SASHA. We have said enough. I have confessed things to you that I have +not dared to admit even to myself. Don't speak about this to any one. +Let us forget it. + +LEBEDIEFF. I am hopelessly puzzled, and either my mind is going from +old age or else you have all grown very clever, but I'll be hanged if I +understand this business at all. + +Enter SHABELSKI. + +SHABELSKI. Confound you all and myself, too! This is maddening! + +LEBEDIEFF. What do you want? + +SHABELSKI Seriously, I must really do something horrid and rascally, so +that not only I but everybody else will be disgusted by it. I certainly +shall find something to do, upon my word I shall! I have already told +Borkin to announce that I am to be married. [He laughs] Everybody is a +scoundrel and I must be one too! + +LEBEDIEFF. I am tired of you, Matthew. Look here, man you talk in such a +way that, excuse my saying so, you will soon find yourself in a lunatic +asylum! + +SHABELSKI. Could a lunatic asylum possibly be worse than this house, or +any othe r? Kindly take me there at once. Please do! Everybody is +wicked and futile and worthless and stupid; I am an object of disgust to +myself, I don't believe a word I say----- + +LEBEDIEFF. Let me give you a piece of advice, old man; fill your mouth +full of tow, light it, and blow at everybody. Or, better still, take +your hat and go home. This is a wedding, we all want to enjoy ourselves +and you are croaking like a raven. Yes, really. + +SHABELSKI leans on the piano and begins to sob. + +LEBEDIEFF. Good gracious, Matthew, Count! What is it, dear Matthew, old +friend? Have I offended you? There, forgive me; I didn't mean to hurt +you. Come, drink some water. + +SHABELSKI. I don't want any water. [Raises his head.] + +LEBEDIEFF. What are you crying about? + +SHABELSKI. Nothing in particular; I was just crying. + +LEBEDIEFF. Matthew, tell me the truth, what is it? What has happened? + +SHABELSKI. I caught sight of that violoncello, and--and--I remembered +the Jewess. + +LEBEDIEFF. What an unfortunate moment you have chosen to remember her. +Peace be with her! But don't think of her now. + +SHABELSKI. We used to play duets together. She was a beautiful, a +glorious woman. + +SASHA sobs. + +LEBEDIEFF. What, are you crying too? Stop, Sasha! Dear me, they are both +howling now, and I--and I--Do go away; the guests will see you! + +SHABELSKI. Paul, when the sun is shining, it is gay even in a cemetery. +One can be cheerful even in old age if it is lighted by hope; but I have +nothing to hope for--not a thing! + +LEBEDIEFF. Yes, it is rather sad for you. You have no children, no +money, no occupation. Well, but what is there to be done about it? [To +SASHA] What is the matter with you, Sasha? + +SHABELSKI. Paul, give me some money. I will repay you in the next world. +I would go to Paris and see my wife's grave. I have given away a great +deal of money in my life, half my fortune indeed, and I have a right to +ask for some now. Besides, I am asking a friend. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Embarrassed] My dear boy, I haven't a penny. All +right though. That is to say, I can't promise anything, but you +understand--very well, very well. [Aside] This is agony! + +Enter MARTHA. + +MARTHA. Where is my partner? Count, how dare you leave me alone? You are +horrid! [She taps SHABELSKI on the arm with her fan] + +SHABELSKI. [Impatiently] Leave me alone! I can't abide you! + +MARTHA. [Frightened] How? What? + +SHABELSKI. Go away! + +MARTHA. [Sinks into an arm-chair] Oh! Oh! Oh! [She bursts into tears.] + +Enter ZINAIDA crying. + +ZINAIDA. Some one has just arrived; it must be one of the ushers. It is +time for the ceremony to begin. + +SASHA. [Imploringly] Mother! + +LEBEDIEFF. Well, now you are all bawling. What a quartette! Come, come, +don't let us have any more of this dampness! Matthew! Martha! If you go +on like this, I--I--shall cry too. [Bursts into tears] Heavens! + +ZINAIDA. If you don't need your mother any more, if you are determined +not to obey her, I shall have to do as you want, and you have my +blessing. + +Enter IVANOFF, dressed in a long coat, with gloves on. + +LEBEDIEFF This is the finishing touch! What do you want? + +SHABELSKI. Why are you here? + +IVANOFF. I beg your pardon, you must allow me to speak to Sasha alone. + +LEBEDIEFF. The bridegroom must not come to see the bride before the +wedding. It is time for you to go to the church. + +IVANOFF. Paul, I implore you. + +LEBEDIEFF shrugs his shoulders. LEBEDIEFF, ZINAIDA, SHABELSKI, and +MARTHA go out. + +SASHA. [Sternly] What do you want? + +IVANOFF. I am choking with anger; I cannot speak calmly. Listen to me; +as I was dressing just now for the wedding, I looked in the glass and +saw how grey my temples were. Sasha, this must not be! Let us end this +senseless comedy before it is too late. You are young and pure; you have +all your life before you, but I---- + +SASHA. The same old story; I have heard it a thousand times and I am +tired of it. Go quickly to the church and don't keep everybody waiting! + +IVANOFF. I shall go straight home, and you must explain to your family +somehow that there is to be no wedding. Explain it as you please. It is +time we came to our senses. I have been playing the part of Hamlet and +you have been playing the part of a noble and devoted girl. We have kept +up the farce long enough. + +SASHA. [Losing her temper] How can you speak to me like this? I won't +have it. + +IVANOFF. But I am speaking, and will continue to speak. + +SASHA. What do you mean by coming to me like this? Your melancholy has +become absolutely ridiculous! + +IVANOFF. No, this is not melancholy. It is ridiculous, is it? Yes, I am +laughing, and if it were possible for me to laugh at myself a thousand +times more bitterly I should do so and set the whole world laughing, +too, in derision. A fierce light has suddenly broken over my soul; as I +looked into the glass just now, I laughed at myself, and nearly went mad +with shame. [He laughs] Melancholy indeed! Noble grief! Uncontrollable +sorrow! It only remains for me now to begin to write verses! Shall I +mope and complain, sadden everybody I meet, confess that my manhood +has gone forever, that I have decayed, outlived my purpose, that I +have given myself up to cowardice and am bound hand and foot by this +loathsome melancholy? Shall I confess all this when the sun is shining +so brightly and when even the ants are carrying their little burdens in +peaceful self-content? No, thanks. Can I endure the knowledge that one +will look upon me as a fraud, while another pities me, a third lends +me a helping hand, or worst of all, a fourth listens reverently to my +sighs, looks upon me as a new Mahomet, and expects me to expound a new +religion every moment? No, thank God for the pride and conscience he has +left me still. On my way here I laughed at myself, and it seemed to me +that the flowers and birds were laughing mockingly too. + +SASHA. This is not anger, but madness! + +IVANOFF. You think so, do you? No, I am not mad. I see things in their +right light now, and my mind is as clear as your conscience. We love +each other, but we shall never be married. It makes no difference how I +rave and grow bitter by myself, but I have no right to drag another +down with me. My melancholy robbed my wife of the last year of her life. +Since you have been engaged to me you have forgotten how to laugh and +have aged five years. Your father, to whom life was always simple and +clear, thanks to me, is now unable to understand anybody. Wherever I go, +whether hunting or visiting, it makes no difference, I carry depression, +dulness, and discontent along with me. Wait! Don't interrupt me! I am +bitter and harsh, I know, but I am stifled with rage. I cannot speak +otherwise. I have never lied, and I never used to find fault with my +lot, but since I have begun to complain of everything, I find fault with +it involuntarily, and against my will. When I murmur at my fate every +one who hears me is seized with the same disgust of life and begins to +grumble too. And what a strange way I have of looking at things! +Exactly as if I were doing the world a favour by living in it. Oh, I am +contemptible. + +SASHA. Wait a moment. From what you have just said, it is obvious that +you are tired of your melancholy mood, and that the time has come for +you to begin life afresh. How splendid! + +IVANOFF. I don't see anything splendid about it. How can I lead a new +life? I am lost forever. It is time we both understood that. A new life +indeed! + +SASHA. Nicholas, come to your senses. How can you say you are lost? What +do you mean by such cynicism? No, I won't listen to you or talk with +you. Go to the church! + +IVANOFF. I am lost! + +SASHA. Don't talk so loud; our guests will hear you! + +IVANOFF. If an intelligent, educated, and healthy man begins to complain +of his lot and go down-hill, there is nothing for him to do but to go on +down until he reaches the bottom--there is no hope for him. Where could +my salvation come from? How can I save myself? I cannot drink, because +it makes my head ache. I never could write bad poetry. I cannot pray for +strength and see anything lofty in the languor of my soul. Laziness is +laziness and weakness weakness. I can find no other names for them. I +am lost, I am lost; there is no doubt of that. [Looking around] Some one +might come in; listen, Sasha, if you love me you must help me. Renounce +me this minute; quickly! + +SASHA. Oh, Nicholas! If you only knew how you are torturing me; what +agony I have to endure for your sake! Good thoughtful friend, judge for +yourself; can I possibly solve such a problem? Each day you put some +horrible problem before me, each one more difficult than the last. I +wanted to help you with my love, but this is martyrdom! + +IVANOFF. And when you are my wife the problems will be harder than ever. +Understand this: it is not love that is urging you to take this step, +but the obstinacy of an honest nature. You have undertaken to reawaken +the man in me and to save me in the face of every difficulty, and you +are flattered by the hope of achieving your object. You are willing to +give up now, but you are prevented from doing it by a feeling that is a +false one. Understand yourself! + +SASHA. What strange, wild reasoning! How can I give you up now? How +can I? You have no mother, or sister, or friends. You are ruined; your +estate has been destroyed; every one is speaking ill of you-- + +IVANOFF. It was foolish of me to come here; I should have done as I +wanted to-- + +Enter LEBEDIEFF. + +SASHA. [Running to her father] Father! He has rushed over here like a +madman, and is torturing me! He insists that I should refuse to marry +him; he says he doesn't want to drag me down with him. Tell him that I +won't accept his generosity. I know what I am doing! + +LEBEDIEFF. I can't understand a word of what you are saying. What +generosity? + +IVANOFF. This marriage is not going to take place. + +SASHA. It is going to take place. Papa, tell him that it is going to +take place. + +LEBEDIEFF. Wait! Wait! What objection have you to the marriage? + +IVANOFF. I have explained it all to her, but she refuses to understand +me. + +LEBEDIEFF. Don't explain it to her, but to me, and explain it so that I +may understand. God forgive you, Nicholas, you have brought a great deal +of darkness into our lives. I feel as if I were living in a museum; I +look about me and don't understand anything I see. This is torture. What +on earth can an old man like me do with you? Shall I challenge you to a +duel? + +IVANOFF. There is no need of a duel. All you need is a head on your +shoulders and a knowledge of the Russian language. + +SASHA. [Walks up and down in great excitement] This is dreadful, +dreadful! Absolutely childish. + +LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas; from your point of view what you are +doing is quite right and proper, according to the rules of psychology, +but I think this affair is a scandal and a great misfortune. I am an old +man; hear me out for the last time. This is what I want to say to you: +calm yourself; look at things simply, as every one else does; this is +a simple world. The ceiling is white; your boots are black; sugar is +sweet. You love Sasha and she loves you. If you love her, stay with +her; if you don't, leave her. We shan't blame you. It is all perfectly +simple. You are two healthy, intelligent, moral young people; thank God, +you both have food and clothing--what more do you want? What if you +have no money? That is no great misfortune--happiness is not bought with +wealth. Of course your estate is mortgaged, Nicholas, as I know, and you +have no money to pay the interest on the debt, but I am Sasha's father. +I understand. Her mother can do as she likes--if she won't give any +money, why, confound her, then she needn't, that's all! Sasha has just +said that she does not want her part of it. As for your principles, +Schopenhauer and all that, it is all folly. I have one hundred thousand +roubles in the bank. [Looking around him] Not a soul in the house knows +it; it was my grandmother's money. That shall be for you both. Take it, +give Matthew two thousand-- + +[The guests begin to collect in the ball-room]. + +IVANOFF. It is no use discussing it any more, I must act as my +conscience bids me. + +SASHA. And I shall act as my conscience bids me--you may say what you +please; I refuse to let you go! I am going to call my mother. + +LEBEDIEFF. I am utterly puzzled. + +IVANOFF. Listen to me, poor old friend. I shall not try to explain +myself to you. I shall not tell you whether I am honest or a rascal, +healthy or mad; you wouldn't understand me. I was young once; I have +been eager and sincere and intelligent. I have loved and hated and +believed as no one else has. I have worked and hoped and tilted against +windmills with the strength of ten--not sparing my strength, not knowing +what life was. I shouldered a load that broke my back. I drank, I +worked, I excited myself, my energy knew no bounds. Tell me, could I +have done otherwise? There are so few of us and so much to do, so much +to do! And see how cruelly fate has revenged herself on me, who fought +with her so bravely! I am a broken man. I am old at thirty. I have +submitted myself to old age. With a heavy head and a sluggish mind, +weary, used up, discouraged, without faith or love or an object in life, +I wander like a shadow among other men, not knowing why I am alive or +what it is that I want. Love seems to me to be folly, caresses false. +I see no sense in working or playing, and all passionate speeches seem +insipid and tiresome. So I carry my sadness with me wherever I go; a +cold weariness, a discontent, a horror of life. Yes, I am lost for ever +and ever. Before you stands a man who at thirty-five is disillusioned, +wearied by fruitless efforts, burning with shame, and mocking at his own +weakness. Oh, how my pride rebels against it all! What mad fury chokes +me! [He staggers] I am staggering--my strength is failing me. Where is +Matthew? Let him take me home. + +[Voices from the ball-room] The best man has arrived! + +Enter SHABELSKI. + +SHABELSKI. In an old worn-out coat--without gloves! How many scornful +glances I get for it! Such silly jokes and vulgar grins! Disgusting +people. + +Enter BORKIN quickly. He is carrying a bunch of flowers and is in a +dress-coat. He wears a flower in his buttonhole. + +BORKIN. This is dreadful! Where is he? [To IVANOFF] They have been +waiting for you for a long time in the church, and here you are talking +philosophy! What a funny chap you are. Don't you know you must not go +to church with the bride, but alone, with me? I shall then come back for +her. Is it possible you have not understood that? You certainly are an +extraordinary man! + +Enter LVOFF. + +LVOFF. [To IVANOFF] Ah! So you are here? [Loudly] Nicholas Ivanoff, I +denounce you to the world as a scoundrel! + +IVANOFF. [Coldly] Many thanks! + +BORKIN. [To LVOFF] Sir, this is dastardly! I challenge you to a duel! + +LVOFF. Monsieur Borkin, I count it a disgrace not only to fight with +you, but even to talk to you! Monsieur Ivanoff, however, can receive +satisfaction from me whenever he chooses! + +SHABELSKI. Sir, I shall fight you! + +SASHA. [To LVOFF] Why, oh why, have you insulted him? Gentlemen, I beg +you, let him tell me why he has insulted him. + +LVOFF. Miss Sasha, I have not insulted him without cause. I came here +as a man of honour, to open your eyes, and I beg you to listen to what I +have to tell you. + +SASHA. What can you possibly have to tell me? That you are a man of +honour? The whole world knows it. You had better tell me on your honour +whether you understand what you have done or not. You have come in +here as a man of honour and have insulted him so terribly that you have +nearly killed me. When you used to follow him like a shadow and almost +keep him from living, you were convinced that you were doing your duty +and that you were acting like a man of honour. When you interfered in +his private affairs, maligned him and criticised him; when you sent me +and whomever else you could, anonymous letters, you imagined yourself to +be an honourable man! And, thinking that that too was honourable, you, +a doctor, did not even spare his dying wife or give her a moment's peace +from your suspicions. And no matter what violence, what cruel wrong you +committed, you still imagined yourself to be an unusually honourable and +clear-sighted man. + +IVANOFF. [Laughing] This is not a wedding, but a parliament! Bravo! +Bravo! + +SASHA. [To LVOFF] Now, think it over! Do you see what sort of a man you +are, or not? Oh, the stupid, heartless people! [Takes IVANOFF by the +hand] Come away from here Nicholas! Come, father, let us go! + +IVANOFF. Where shall we go? Wait a moment. I shall soon put an end to +the whole thing. My youth is awake in me again; the former Ivanoff is +here once more. + +[He takes out a revolver.] + +SASHA. [Shrieking] I know what he wants to do! Nicholas, for God's sake! + +IVANOFF. I have been slipping down-hill long enough. Now, halt! It is +time to know what honour is. Out of the way! Thank you, Sasha! + +SASHA. [Shrieking] Nicholas! For God's sake hold him! + +IVANOFF. Let go! [He rushes aside, and shoots himself.] + +The curtain falls. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ivanoff, by Anton Checkov + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IVANOFF *** + +***** This file should be named 1755.txt or 1755.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/7/5/1755/ + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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Nee Sarah Abramson + +MATTHEW SHABELSKI, a count, uncle of Ivanoff + +PAUL LEBEDIEFF, President of the Board of the Zemstvo + +ZINAIDA, his wife + +SASHA, their daughter, twenty years old + +LVOFF, a young government doctor + +MARTHA BABAKINA, a young widow, owner of an estate and daughter +of a rich merchant + +KOSICH, an exciseman + +MICHAEL BORKIN, a distant relative of Ivanoff, and manager of his +estate + +AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, an old woman + +GEORGE, lives with the Lebedieffs + +FIRST GUEST + +SECOND GUEST + +THIRD GUEST + +FOURTH GUEST + +PETER, a servant of Ivanoff + +GABRIEL, a servant of Lebedieff + +GUESTS OF BOTH SEXES + +The play takes place in one of the provinces of central Russia + +IVANOFF + +ACT I + +The garden of IVANOFF'S country place. On the left is a terrace +and the facade of the house. One window is open. Below the +terrace is a broad semicircular lawn, from which paths lead to +right and left into a garden. On the right are several garden +benches and tables. A lamp is burning on one of the tables. It is +evening. As the curtain rises sounds of the piano and violoncello +are heard. + +IVANOFF is sitting at a table reading. + +BORKIN, in top-boots and carrying a gun, comes in from the rear +of the garden. He is a little tipsy. As he sees IVANOFF he comes +toward him on tiptoe, and when he comes opposite him he stops and +points the gun at his face. + +IVANOFF. [Catches sight of BORKIN. Shudders and jumps to his +feet] Misha! What are you doing? You frightened me! I can't stand +your stupid jokes when I am so nervous as this. And having +frightened me, you laugh! [He sits down.] + +BORKIN. [Laughing loudly] There, I am sorry, really. I won't do +it again. Indeed I won't. [Take off his cap] How hot it is! Just +think, my dear boy, I have covered twelve miles in the last three +hours. I am worn out. Just feel how my heart is beating. + + +IVANOFF. [Goes on reading] Oh, very well. I shall feel it later! + +BORKIN. No, feel it now. [He takes IVANOFF'S hand and presses it +against his breast] Can you feel it thumping? That means that it +is weak and that I may die suddenly at any moment. Would you be +sorry if I died? + +IVANOFF. I am reading now. I shall attend to you later. + +BORKIN. No, seriously, would you be sorry if I died? Nicholas, +would you be sorry if I died? + +IVANOFF. Leave me alone! + +BORKIN. Come, tell me if you would be sorry or not. + +IVANOFF. I am sorry that you smell so of vodka, Misha, it is +disgusting. + +BORKIN. Do I smell of vodka? How strange! And yet, it is not so +strange after all. I met the magistrate on the road, and I must +admit that we did drink about eight glasses together. Strictly +speaking, of course, drinking is very harmful. Listen, it is +harmful, isn't it? Is it? Is it? + +IVANOFF. This is unendurable! Let me warn you, Misha, that you +are going too far. + +BORKIN. Well, well, excuse me. Sit here by yourself then, for +heaven's sake, if it amuses you. [Gets up and goes away] What +extraordinary people one meets in the world. They won't even +allow themselves to be spoken to. [He comes back] Oh, yes, I +nearly forgot. Please let me have eighty-two roubles. + +IVANOFF. Why do you want eighty-two roubles? + +BORKIN. To pay the workmen to-morrow. + +IVANOFF. I haven't the money. + +BORKIN. Many thanks. [Angrily] So you haven't the money! And yet +the workmen must be paid, mustn't they? + +IVANOFF. I don't know. Wait till my salary comes in on the first +of the month. + +BORKIN. How is it possible to discuss anything with a man like +you? Can't you understand that the workmen are coming to-morrow +morning and not on the first of the month? + +IVANOFF. How can I help it? I'll be hanged if I can do anything +about it now. And what do you mean by this irritating way you +have of pestering me whenever I am trying to read or write or--- + +BORKIN. Must the workmen be paid or not, I ask you? But, good +gracious! What is the use of talking to you! [Waves his hand] Do +you think because you own an estate you can command the whole +world? With your two thousand acres and your empty pockets you +are like a man who has a cellar full of wine and no corkscrew. I +have sold the oats as they stand in the field. Yes, sir! And +to-morrow I shall sell the rye and the carriage horses. [He +stamps up and down] Do you think I am going to stand upon +ceremony with you? Certainly not! I am not that kind of a man! + +ANNA appears at the open window. + +ANNA. Whose voice did I hear just now? Was it yours, Misha? Why +are you stamping up and down? + +BORKIN. Anybody who had anything to do with your Nicholas would +stamp up and down. + +ANNA. Listen, Misha! Please have some hay carried onto the +croquet lawn. + +BORKIN. [Waves his hand] Leave me alone, please! + +ANNA. Oh, what manners! They are not becoming to you at all. If +you want to be liked by women you must never let them see you +when you are angry or obstinate. [To her husband] Nicholas, let +us go and play on the lawn in the hay! + +IVANOFF. Don't you know it is bad for you to stand at the open +window, Annie? [Calls] Shut the window, Uncle! + +[The window is shut from the inside.] + +BORKIN. Don't forget that the interest on the money you owe +Lebedieff must be paid in two days. + +IVANOFF. I haven't forgotten it. I am going over to see Lebedieff +today and shall ask him to wait + +[He looks at his watch.] + +BORKIN. When are you going? + +IVANOFF. At once. + +BORKIN. Wait! Wait! Isn't this Sasha's birthday? So it is! The +idea of my forgetting it. What a memory I have. [Jumps about] I +shall go with you! [Sings] I shall go, I shall go! Nicholas, old +man, you are the joy of my life. If you were not always so +nervous and cross and gloomy, you and I could do great things +together. I would do anything for you. Shall I marry Martha +Babakina and give you half her fortune? That is, not half, +either, but all--take it all! + +IVANOFF. Enough of this nonsense! + +BORKIN. No, seriously, shan't I marry Martha and halve the money +with you? But no, why should I propose it? How can you +understand? [Angrily] You say to me: "Stop talking nonsense!" You +are a good man and a clever one, but you haven't any red blood in +your veins or any--well, enthusiasm. Why, if you wanted to, you +and I could cut a dash together that would shame the devil +himself. If you were a normal man instead of a morbid +hypochondriac we would have a million in a year. For instance, if +I had twenty-three hundred roubles now I could make twenty +thousand in two weeks. You don't believe me? You think it is all +nonsense? No, it isn't nonsense. Give me twenty-three hundred +roubles and let me try. Ofsianoff is selling a strip of land +across the river for that price. If we buy this, both banks will +be ours, and we shall have the right to build a dam across the +river. Isn't that so? We can say that we intend to build a mill, +and when the people on the river below us hear that we mean to +dam the river they will, of course, object violently and we shall +say: If you don't want a dam here you will have to pay to get us +away. Do you see the result? The factory would give us five +thousand roubles, Korolkoff three thousand, the monastery five +thousand more-- + +IVANOFF. All that is simply idiotic, Misha. If you don't want me +to lose my temper you must keep your schemes to yourself. + +BORKIN. [Sits down at the table] Of course! I knew how it would +be! You never will act for yourself, and you tie my hands so that +I am helpless. + +Enter SHABELSKI and LVOFF. + +SHABELSKI. The only difference between lawyers and doctors is +that lawyers simply rob you, whereas doctors both rob you and +kill you. I am not referring to any one present. [Sits down on +the bench] They are all frauds and swindlers. Perhaps in Arcadia +you might find an exception to the general rule and yet--I have +treated thousands of sick people myself in my life, and I have +never met a doctor who did not seem to me to be an unmistakable +scoundrel. + +BORKIN. [To IVANOFF] Yes, you tie my hands and never do anything +for yourself, and that is why you have no money. + +SHABELSKI. As I said before, I am not referring to any one here +at present; there may be exceptions though, after all-- [He +yawns.] + +IVANOFF. [Shuts his book] What have you to tell me, doctor? + +LVOFF. [Looks toward the window] Exactly what I said this +morning: she must go to the Crimea at once. [Walks up and down.] + +SHABELSKI. [Bursts out laughing] To the Crimea! Why don't you and +I set up as doctors, Misha? Then, if some Madame Angot or Ophelia +finds the world tiresome and begins to cough and be consumptive, +all we shall have to do will be to write out a prescription +according to the laws of medicine: that is, first, we shall order +her a young doctor, and then a journey to the Crimea. There some +fascinating young Tartar--- + +IVANOFF. [Interrupting] Oh, don't be coarse! [To LVOFF] It takes +money to go to the Crimea, and even if I could afford it, you +know she has refused to go. + +LVOFF. Yes, she has. [A pause.] + +BORKIN. Look here, doctor, is Anna really so ill that she +absolutely must go to the Crimea? + +LVOFF. [Looking toward the window] Yes, she has consumption. + +BORKIN. Whew! How sad! I have seen in her face for some time that +she could not last much longer. + +LVOFF. Can't you speak quietly? She can hear everything you say. +[A pause.] + +BORKIN. [Sighing] The life of man is like a flower, blooming so +gaily in a field. Then, along comes a goat, he eats it, and the +flower is gone! + +SHABELSKI. Oh, nonsense, nonsense. [Yawning] Everything is a +fraud and a swindle. [A pause.] + +BORKIN. Gentlemen, I have been trying to tell Nicholas how he can +make some money, and have submitted a brilliant plan to him, but +my seed, as usual, has fallen on barren soil. Look what a sight +he is now: dull, cross, bored, peevish--- + +SHABELSKI. [Gets up and stretches himself] You are always +inventing schemes for everybody, you clever fellow, and telling +them how to live; can't you tell me something? Give me some good +advice, you ingenious young man. Show me a good move to make. + +BORKIN. [Getting up] I am going to have a swim. Goodbye, +gentlemen. [To Shabelski] There are at least twenty good moves +you could make. If I were you I should have twenty thousand +roubles in a week. + +[He goes out; SHABELSKI follows him.] + +SHABELSKI. How would you do it? Come, explain. + +BORKIN. There is nothing to explain, it is so simple. [Coming +back] Nicholas, give me a rouble. + +IVANOFF silently hands him the money + +BORKIN. Thanks. Shabelski, you still hold some trump cards. + +SHABELSKI follows him out. + +SHABELSKI. Well, what are they? + +BORKIN. If I were you I should have thirty thousand roubles and +more in a week. [They go out together.] + +IVANOFF. [After a pause] Useless people, useless talk, and the +necessity of answering stupid questions, have wearied me so, +doctor, that I am ill. I have become so irritable and bitter that +I don't know myself. My head aches for days at a time. I hear a +ringing in my ears, I can't sleep, and yet there is no escape +from it all, absolutely none. + +LVOFF. Ivanoff, I have something serious to speak to you about. + +IVANOFF. What is it ? + +LVOFF. It is about your wife. She refuses to go to the Crimea +alone, but she would go with you. + +IVANOFF. [Thoughtfully] It would cost a great deal for us both to +go, and besides, I could not get leave to be away for so long. I +have had one holiday already this year. + +LVOFF. Very well, let us admit that. Now to proceed. The best +cure for consumption is absolute peace of mind, and your wife has +none whatever. She is forever excited by your behaviour to her. +Forgive me, I am excited and am going to speak frankly. Your +treatment of her is killing her. [A pause] Ivanoff, let me +believe better things of you. + +IVANOFF. What you say is true, true. I must be terribly guilty, +but my mind is confused. My will seems to be paralysed by a kind +of stupor; I can't understand myself or any one else. [Looks +toward the window] Come, let us take a walk, we might be +overheard here. [They get up] My dear friend, you should hear the +whole story from the beginning if it were not so long and +complicated that to tell it would take all night. [They walk up +and down] Anna is a splendid, an exceptional woman. She has left +her faith, her parents and her fortune for my sake. If I should +demand a hundred other sacrifices, she would consent to every one +without the quiver of an eyelid. Well, I am not a remarkable man +in any way, and have sacrificed nothing. However, the story is a +long one. In short, the whole point is, my dear doctor-- +[Confused] that I married her for love and promised to love her +forever, and now after five years she loves me still and I-- [He +waves his hand] Now, when you tell me she is dying, I feel +neither love nor pity, only a sort of loneliness and weariness. +To all appearances this must seem horrible, and I cannot +understand myself what is happening to me. [They go out.] + +SHABELSKI comes in. + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing] Upon my word, that man is no scoundrel, but +a great thinker, a master-mind. He deserves a memorial. He is the +essence of modern ingenuity, and combines in himself alone the +genius of the lawyer, the doctor, and the financier. [He sits +down on the lowest step of the terrace] And yet he has never +finished a course of studies in any college; that is so +surprising. What an ideal scoundrel he would have made if he had +acquired a little culture and mastered the sciences! "You could +make twenty thousand roubles in a week," he said. "You still hold +the ace of trumps: it is your title." [Laughing] He said I might +get a rich girl to marry me for it! [ANNA opens the window and +looks down] "Let me make a match between you and Martha," says +he. Who is this Martha? It must be that Balabalkina--Babakalkina +woman, the one that looks like a laundress. + +ANNA. Is that you, Count? + +SHABELSKI. What do you want? + +ANNA laughs. + +SHABELSKI. [With a Jewish accent] Vy do you laugh? + +ANNA. I was thinking of something you said at dinner, do you +remember? How was it--a forgiven thief, a doctored horse. + +SHABELSKI. A forgiven thief, a doctored horse, and a +Christianised Jew are all worth the same price. + +ANNA. [Laughing] You can't even repeat the simplest saying +without ill-nature. You are a most malicious old man. [Seriously] +Seriously, Count you are extremely disagreeable, and very +tiresome and painful to live with. You are always grumbling and +growling, and everybody to you is a blackguard and a scoundrel. +Tell me honestly, Count, have you ever spoken well of any one? + +SHABELSKI. Is this an inquisition? + +ANNA. We have lived under this same roof now for five years, and +I have never heard you speak kindly of people, or without +bitterness and derision. What harm has the world done to you? Is +it possible that you consider yourself better than any one else? + +SHABELSKI. Not at all. I think we are all of us scoundrels and +hypocrites. I myself am a degraded old man, and as useless as a +cast-off shoe. I abuse myself as much as any one else. I was rich +once, and free, and happy at times, but now I am a dependent, an +object of charity, a joke to the world. When I am at last +exasperated and defy them, they answer me with a laugh. When I +laugh, they shake their heads sadly and say, "The old man has +gone mad." But oftenest of all I am unheard and unnoticed by +every one. + +ANNA. [Quietly] Screaming again. + +SHABELSKI. Who is screaming? + +ANNA. The owl. It screams every evening. + +SHABELSKI. Let it scream. Things are as bad as they can be +already. [Stretches himself] Alas, my dear Sarah! If I could only +win a thousand or two roubles, I should soon show you what I +could do. I wish you could see me! I should get away out of this +hole, and leave the bread of charity, and should not show my nose +here again until the last judgment day. + +ANNA. What would you do if you were to win so much money? + +SHABELSKI. [Thoughtfully] First I would go to Moscow to hear the +Gipsies play, and then--then I should fly to Paris and take an +apartment and go to the Russian Church. + +ANNA. And what else? + +SHABELSKI. I would go and sit on my wife's grave for days and +days and think. I would sit there until I died. My wife is buried +in Paris. [A pause.] + +ANNA. How terribly dull this is! Shall we play a duet? + +SHABELSKI. As you like. Go and get the music ready. [ANNA goes +out.] + +IVANOFF and LVOFF appear in one of the paths. + +IVANOFF. My dear friend, you left college last year, and you are +still young and brave. Being thirty-five years old I have the +right to advise you. Don't marry a Jewess or a bluestocking or a +woman who is queer in any way. Choose some nice, common-place +girl without any strange and startling points in her character. +Plan your life for quiet; the greyer and more monotonous you can +make the background, the better. My dear boy, do not try to fight +alone against thousands; do not tilt with windmills; do not dash +yourself against the rocks. And, above all, may you be spared the +so-called rational life, all wild theories and impassioned talk. +Everything is in the hands of God, so shut yourself up in your +shell and do your best. That is the pleasant, honest, healthy way +to live. But the life I have chosen has been so tiring, oh, so +tiring! So full of mistakes, of injustice and stupidity! [Catches +sight of SHABELSKI, and speaks angrily] There you are again, +Uncle, always under foot, never letting one have a moment's quiet +talk! + +SHABELSKI. [In a tearful voice] Is there no refuge anywhere for a +poor old devil like me? [He jumps up and runs into the house.] + +IVANOFF. Now I have offended him! Yes, my nerves have certainly +gone to pieces. I must do something about it, I must--- + +LVOFF. [Excitedly] Ivanoff, I have heard all you have to say +and--and--I am going to speak frankly. You have shown me in your +voice and manner, as well as in your words, the most heartless +egotism and pitiless cruelty. Your nearest friend is dying simply +because she is near you, her days are numbered, and you can feel +such indifference that you go about giving advice and analysing +your feelings. I cannot say all I should like to; I have not the +gift of words, but--but I can at least say that you are deeply +antipathetic to me. + +IVANOFF. I suppose I am. As an onlooker, of course you see me +more clearly than I see myself, and your judgment of me is +probably right. No doubt I + am terribly guilty. [Listens] I think I hear the carriage +coming. I must get ready to go. [He goes toward the house and +then stops] You dislike me, doctor, and you don't conceal it. +Your sincerity does you credit. [He goes into the house.] + +LVOFF. [Alone] What a confoundedly disagreeable character! I have +let another opportunity slip without speaking to him as I meant +to, but I simply cannot talk calmly to that man. The moment I +open my mouth to speak I feel such a commotion and suffocation +here [He puts his hand on his breast] that my tongue sticks to +the roof of my mouth. Oh, I loathe that Tartuffe, that +unmitigated rascal, with all my heart! There he is, preparing to +go driving in spite of the entreaties of his unfortunate wife, +who adores him and whose only happiness is his presence. She +implores him to spend at least one evening with her, and he +cannot even do that. Why, he might shoot himself in despair if he +had to stay at home! Poor fellow, what he wants are new fields +for his villainous schemes. Oh, I know why you go to Lebedieff's +every evening, Ivanoff! I know. + +Enter IVANOFF, in hat and coat, ANNA and SHABELSKI + +SHABELSKI. Look here, Nicholas, this is simply barbarous You go +away every evening and leave us here alone, and we get so bored +that we have to go to bed at eight o'clock. It is a scandal, and +no decent way of living. Why can you go driving if we can't? Why? + +ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Let him go if he wants to. + +IVANOFF. How can a sick woman like you go anywhere? You know you +have a cough and must not go out after sunset. Ask the doctor +here. You are no child, Annie, you must be reasonable. And as for +you, what would you do with yourself over there? + +SHABELSKI. I am ready to go anywhere: into the jaws of a +crocodile, or even into the jaws of hell, so long as I don't have +to stay here. I am horribly bored. I am stupefied by this +dullness. Every one here is tired of me. You leave me at home to +entertain Anna, but I feel more like scratching and biting her. + +ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Leave him alone. Let him go if he +enjoys himself there. + +IVANOFF. What does this mean, Annie? You know I am not going for +pleasure. I must see Lebedieff about the money I owe him. + +ANNA. I don't see why you need justify yourself to me. Go ahead! +Who is keeping you? + +IVANOFF. Heavens! Don't let us bite one another's heads off. Is +that really unavoidable? + +SHABELSKI. [Tearfully] Nicholas, my dear boy, do please take me +with you. I might possibly be amused a little by the sight of all +the fools and scoundrels I should see there. You know I haven't +been off this place since Easter. + +IVANOFF. [Exasperated] Oh, very well! Come along then! How +tiresome you all are! + +SHABELSKI. I may go? Oh, thank you! [Takes him gaily by the arm +and leads him aside] May I wear your straw hat? + +IVANOFF. You may, only hurry, please. + +SHABELSKI runs into the house. + +IVANOFF. How tired I am of you all! But no, what am I saying? +Annie, my manner to you is insufferable, and it never used to be. +Well, good-bye, Annie. I shall be back by one. + +ANNA. Nicholas! My dear husband, stay at home to-night! + +IVANOFF. [Excitedly] Darling, sweetheart, my dear, unhappy one, I +implore you to let me leave home in the evenings. I know it is +cruel and unjust to ask this, but let me do you this injustice. +It is such torture for me to stay. As soon as the sun goes down +my soul is overwhelmed by the most horrible despair. Don't ask me +why; I don't know; I swear I don't. This dreadful melancholy +torments me here, it drives me to the Lebedieff's and there it +grows worse than ever. I rush home; it still pursues me; and so I +am tortured all through the night. It is breaking my heart. + +ANNA. Nicholas, won't you stay? We will talk together as we used +to. We will have supper together and read afterward. The old +grumbler and I have learned so many duets to play to you. [She +kisses him. Then, after a pause] I can't understand you any more. +This has been going on for a year now. What has changed you so? + +IVANOFF. I don't know. + +ANNA. And why don't you want me to go driving with you in the +evening? + +IVANOFF. As you insist on knowing, I shall have to tell you. It +is a little cruel, but you had best understand. When this +melancholy fit is on me I begin to dislike you, Annie, and at +such times I must escape from you. In short, I simply have to +leave this house. + +ANNA. Oh, you are sad, are you? I can understand that! Nicholas, +let me tell you something: won't you try to sing and laugh and +scold as you used to? Stay here, and we will drink some liqueur +together. and laugh, and chase away this sadness of yours in no +time. Shall I sing to you? Or shall we sit in your study in the +twilight as we used to, while you tell me about your sadness? I +can read such suffering in your eyes! Let me look into them and +weep, and our hearts will both be lighter. [She laughs and cries +at once] Or is it really true that the flowers return with every +spring, but lost happiness never returns? Oh, is it? Well, go +then, go! + +IVANOFF. Pray for me, Annie! [He goes; then stops and thinks for +a moment] No, I can't do it. [IVANOFF goes out.] + +ANNA. Yes, go, go-- [Sits down at the table.] + +LVOFF. [Walking up and down] Make this a rule, Madam: as soon as +the sun goes down you must go indoors and not come out again +until morning. The damp evening air is bad for you. + +ANNA. Yes, sir! + +LVOFF. What do you mean by "Yes, sir"? I am speaking seriously. + +ANNA. But I don't want to be serious. [She coughs.] + +LVOFF. There now, you see, you are coughing already. + +SHABELSKI comes out of the house in his hat and coat. + +SHABELSKI. Where is Nicholas? Is the carriage here yet? [Goes +quickly to ANNA and kisses her hand] Good-night, my darling! +[Makes a face and speaks with a Jewish accent] I beg your bardon! +[He goes quickly out.] + +LVOFF. Idiot! + +A pause; the sounds of a concertina are heard in the distance. + +ANNA. Oh, how lonely it is! The coachman and the cook are having +a little ball in there by themselves, and I--I am, as it were, +abandoned. Why are you walking about, Doctor? Come and sit down +here. + +LVOFF. I can't sit down. + +[A pause.] + +ANNA. They are playing "The Sparrow" in the kitchen. [She sings] + + "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you? + On the mountain drinking dew." + +[A pause] Are your father and mother living, Doctor? + +LVOFF. My mother is living; my father is dead. + +ANNA. Do you miss your mother very much? + +LVOFF. I am too busy to miss any one. + +ANNA. [Laughing] The flowers return with every spring, but lost +happiness never returns. I wonder who taught me that? I think it +was Nicholas himself. [Listens] The owl is hooting again. + +LVOFF. Well, let it hoot. + +ANNA. I have begun to think, Doctor, that fate has cheated me. +Other people who, perhaps, are no better than I am are happy and +have not had to pay for their happiness. But I have paid for it +all, every moment of it, and such a price! Why should I have to +pay so terribly? Dear friend, you are all too considerate and +gentle with me to tell me the truth; but do you think I don't +know what is the matter with me? I know perfectly well. However, +this isn't a pleasant subject-- [With a Jewish accent] "I beg +your bardon!" Can you tell funny stories? + +LVOFF. No, I can't. + +ANNA. Nicholas can. I am beginning to be surprised, too, at the +injustice of people. Why do they return hatred for love, and +answer truth with lies? Can you tell me how much longer I shall +be hated by my mother and father? They live fifty miles away, and +yet I can feel their hatred day and night, even in my sleep. And +how do you account for the sadness of Nicholas? He says that he +only dislikes me in the evening, when the fit is on him. I +understand that, and can tolerate it, but what if he should come +to dislike me altogether? Of course that is impossible, and +yet--no, no, I mustn't even imagine such a thing. [Sings] + + "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you?" + +[She shudders] What fearful thoughts I have! You are not married, +Doctor; there are many things that you cannot understand. + +LVOFF. You say you are surprised, but--but it is you who surprise +me. Tell me, explain to me how you, an honest and intelligent +woman, almost a + saint, could allow yourself to be so basely deceived and dragged +into this den of bears? Why are you here? What have you in common +with such a cold and heartless--but enough of your husband! What +have you in common with these wicked and vulgar surroundings? +With that eternal grumbler, the crazy and decrepit Count? With +that swindler, that prince of rascals, Misha, with his fool's +face? Tell me, I say, how did you get here? + +ANNA. [laughing] That is what he used to say, long ago, oh, +exactly! Only his eyes are larger than yours, and when he was +excited they used to shine like coals--go on, go on! + +LVOFF. [Gets up and waves his hand] There is nothing more to say. +Go into the house. + +ANNA. You say that Nicholas is not what he should be, that his +faults are so and so. How can you possibly understand him? How +can you learn to know any one in six months? He is a wonderful +man, Doctor, and I am sorry you could not have known him as he +was two or three years ago. He is depressed and silent now, and +broods all day without doing anything, but he was splendid then. +I fell in love with him at first sight. [Laughing] I gave one +look and was caught like a mouse in a trap! So when he asked me +to go with him I cut every tie that bound me to my old life as +one snips the withered leaves from a plant. But things are +different now. Now he goes to the Lebedieff's to amuse himself +with other women, and I sit here in the garden and listen to the +owls. [The WATCHMAN'S rattle is heard] Tell me, Doctor, have you +any brothers and sisters? + +LVOFF. No. + +ANNA sobs. + +LVOFF. What is it? What is the matter? + +ANNA. I can't stand it, Doctor, I must go. + +LVOFF. Where? + +ANNA. To him. I am going. Have the horses harnessed. [She runs +into the house.] + +LVOFF. No, I certainly cannot go on treating any one under these +conditions. I not only have to do it for nothing, but I am forced +to endure this agony of mind besides. No, no, I can't stand it. I +have had enough of it. [He goes into the house.] + +The curtain falls. + +ACT II + +The drawing-room of LEBEDIEFFÕS house. In the centre is a door +leading into a garden. Doors open out of the room to the right +and left. The room is furnished with valuable old furniture, +which is carefully protected by linen covers. The walls are hung +with pictures. The room is lighted by candelabra. ZINAIDA is +sitting on a sofa; the elderly guests are sitting in arm-chairs +on either hand. The young guests are sitting about the room on +small chairs. KOSICH, AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, GEORGE, and others are +playing cards in the background. GABRIEL is standing near the +door on the right. The maid is passing sweetmeats about on a +tray. During the entire act guests come and go from the garden, +through the room, out of the door on the left, and back again. +Enter MARTHA through the door on the right. She goes toward +ZINAIDA. + +ZINAIDA. [Gaily] My dearest Martha! + +MARTHA. How do you do, Zinaida? Let me congratulate you on your +daughter's birthday. + +ZINAIDA. Thank you, my dear; I am delighted to see you. How are +you? + +MARTHA. Very well indeed, thank you. [She sits down on the sofa] +Good evening, young people! + +The younger guests get up and bow. + +FIRST GUEST. [Laughing] Young people indeed! Do you call yourself +an old person? + +MARTHA. [Sighing] How can I make any pretense to youth now? + +FIRST GUEST. What nonsense! The fact that you are a widow means +nothing. You could beat any pretty girl you chose at a canter. + +GABRIEL brings MARTHA some tea. + +ZINAIDA. Why do you bring the tea in like that? Go and fetch some +jam to eat with it! + +MARTHA. No thank you; none for me, don't trouble yourself. [A +pause.] + +FIRST GUEST. [To MARTHA] Did you come through Mushkine on your +way here? + +MARTHA. No, I came by way of Spassk. The road is better that way. + +FIRST GUEST. Yes, so it is. + +KOSICH. Two in spades. + +GEORGE. Pass. + +AVDOTIA. Pass. + +SECOND GUEST. Pass. + +MARTHA. The price of lottery tickets has gone up again, my dear. +I have never known such a state of affairs. The first issue is +already worth two hundred and seventy and the second nearly two +hundred and fifty. This has never happened before. + +ZINAIDA. How fortunate for those who have a great many tickets! + +MARTHA. Don't say that, dear; even when the price of tickets is +high it does not pay to put one's capital into them. + +ZINAIDA. Quite true, and yet, my dear, one never can tell what +may happen. Providence is sometimes kind. + +THIRD GUEST. My impression is, ladies, that at present capital is +exceedingly unproductive. Shares pay very small dividends, and +speculating is exceedingly dangerous. As I understand it, the +capitalist now finds himself in a more critical position than the +man who--- + +MARTHA. Quite right. + +FIRST GUEST yawns. + +MARTHA. How dare you yawn in the presence of ladies? + +FIRST GUEST. I beg your pardon! It was quite an accident. + +ZINAIDA gets up and goes out through the door on the right. + +GEORGE. Two in hearts. + +SECOND GUEST. Pass. + +KOSICH. Pass. + +MARTHA. [Aside] Heavens! This is deadly! I shall die of ennui. + +Enter ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF through the door on the right. + +ZINAIDA. Why do you go off by yourself like a prima donna? Come +and sit with our guests! + +[She sits down in her former place.] + +LEBEDIEFF. [Yawning] Oh, dear, our sins are heavy! [He catches +sight of MARTHA] Why, there is my little sugar-plum! How is your +most esteemed highness? + +MARTHA. Very well, thank you. + +LEBEDIEFF. Splendid, splendid! [He sits down in an armchair] +Quite right--Oh, Gabriel! + +GABRIEL brings him a glass of vodka and a tumbler of water. He +empties the glass of vodka and sips the water. + +FIRST GUEST. Good health to you! + +LEBEDIEFF. Good health is too much to ask. I am content to keep +death from the door. [To his wife] Where is the heroine of this +occasion, Zuzu? + +KOSICH. [In a plaintive voice] Look here, why haven't we taken +any tricks yet? [He jumps up] Yes, why have we lost this game +entirely, confound it? + +AVDOTIA. [Jumps up angrily] Because, friend, you don't know how +to play it, and have no right to be sitting here at all. What +right had you to lead from another suit? Haven't you the ace +left? [They both leave the table and run forward.] + +KOSICH. [In a tearful voice] Ladies and gentlemen, let me +explain! I had the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the +ace of spades and one, just one, little heart, do you understand? +Well, she, bad luck to her, she couldn't make a little slam. I +said one in no-trumps--- * + +*The game played is vint, the national card-game of Russia and +the direct ancestor of auction bridge, with which it is almost +identical. [translator's note] + +AVDOTIA. [Interrupting him] No, I said one in no-trumps; you said +two in no-trumps--- + +KOSICH. This is unbearable! Allow me--you had--I had--you had-- +[To LEBEDIEFF] But you shall decide it, Paul: I had the ace, +king, queen, and eight of diamonds--- + +LEBEDIEFF. [Puts his fingers into his ears] Stop, for heaven's +sake, stop! + +AVDOTIA. [Yelling] I said no-trumps, and not he! + +KOSICH. [Furiously] I'll be damned if I ever sit down to another +game of cards with that old cat! + +He rushes into the garden. The SECOND GUEST follows him. GEORGE +is left alone at the table. + +AVDOTIA. Whew! He makes my blood boil! Old cat, indeed! You're an +old cat yourself! + +MARTHA. How angry you are, aunty! + +AVDOTIA. [Sees MARTHA and claps her hands] Are you here, my +darling? My beauty! And was I blind as a bat, and didn't see you? +Darling child! [She kisses her and sits down beside her] How +happy this makes me! Let me feast my eyes on you, my milk-white +swan! Oh, oh, you have bewitched me! + +LEBEDIEFF. Why don't you find her a husband instead of singing +her praises? + +AVDOTIA. He shall be found. I shall not go to my grave before I +have found a husband for her, and one for Sasha too. I shall not +go to my grave-- [She sighs] But where to find these husbands +nowadays? There sit some possible bridegrooms now, huddled +together like a lot of half-drowned rats! + +THIRD GUEST. A most unfortunate comparison! It is my belief, +ladies, that if the young men of our day prefer to remain single, +the fault lies not with them, but with the existing, social +conditions! + +LEBEDIEFF. Come, enough of that! Don't give us any mo re +philosophy; I don't like it! + +Enter SASHA. She goes up to her father. + +SASHA. How can you endure the stuffy air of this room when the +weather is so beautiful? + +ZINAIDA. My dear Sasha, don't you see that Martha is here? + +SASHA. I beg your pardon. + +[She goes up to MARTHA and shakes hands.] + +MARTHA. Yes, here I am, my dear little Sasha, and proud to +congratulate you. [They kiss each other] Many happy returns of +the day, dear! + +SASHA. Thank you! [She goes and sits down by her father.] + +LEBEDIEFF. As you were saying, Avdotia Nazarovna, husbands are +hard to find. I don't want to be rude, but I must say that the +young men of the present are a dull and poky lot, poor fellows! +They can't dance or talk or drink as they should do. + +AVDOTIA. Oh, as far as drinking goes, they are all experts. Just +give them--give them--- + +LEBEDIEFF. Simply to drink is no art. A horse can drink. No, it +must be done in the right way. In my young days we used to sit +and cudgel our brains all day over our lessons, but as soon as +evening came we would fly off on some spree and keep it up till +dawn. How we used to dance and flirt, and drink, too! Or +sometimes we would sit and chatter and discuss everything under +the sun until we almost wagged our tongues off. But now-- [He +waves his hand] Boys are a puzzle to me. They are not willing +either to give a candle to God or a pitchfork to the devil! There +is only one young fellow in the country who is worth a penny, and +he is married. [Sighs] They say, too, that he is going crazy. + +MARTHA. Who is he? + +LEBEDIEFF. Nicholas Ivanoff. + +MARTHA. Yes, he is a fine fellow, only [Makes a face] he is very +unhappy. + +ZINAIDA. How could he be otherwise, poor boy! [She sighs] He made +such a bad mistake. When he married that Jewess of his he thought +of course that her parents would give away whole mountains of +gold with her, but, on the contrary, on the day she became a +Christian they disowned her, and Ivanoff has never seen a penny +of the money. He has repented of his folly now, but it is too +late. + +SASHA. Mother, that is not true! + +MARTHA. How can you say it is not true, Sasha, when we all know +it to be a fact? Why did he have to marry a Jewess? He must have +had some reason for doing it. Are Russian girls so scarce? No, he +made a mistake, poor fellow, a sad mistake. [Excitedly] And what +on earth can he do with her now? Where could she go if he were to +come home some day and say: "Your parents have deceived me; leave +my house at once!" Her parents wouldn't take her back. She might +find a place as a house-maid if she had ever learned to work, +which she hasn't. He worries and worries her now, but the Count +interferes. If it had not been for the Count, he would have +worried her to death long ago. + +AVDOTIA. They say he shuts her up in a cellar and stuffs her with +garlic, and she eats and eats until her very soul reeks of it. +[Laughter.] + +SASHA. But, father, you know that isn't true! + +LEBEDIEFF. What if it isn't, Sasha? Let them spin yarns if it +amuses them. [He calls] Gabriel! + +GABRIEL brings him another glass of vodka and a glass of water. + +ZINAIDA. His misfortunes have almost ruined him, poor man. His +affairs are in a frightful condition. If Borkin did not take such +good charge of his estate he and his Jewess would soon be +starving to death. [She sighs] And what anxiety he has caused us! +Heaven only knows how we have suffered. Do you realise, my dear, +that for three years he has owed us nine thousand roubles? + +MARTHA. [Horrified] Nine thousand! + +ZINAIDA. Yes, that is the sum that my dear Paul has undertaken to +lend him. He never knows to whom it is safe to lend money and to +whom it is not. I don't worry about the principal, but he ought +to pay the interest on his debt. + +SASHA. [Hotly] Mamma, you have already discussed this subject at +least a thousand times! + +ZINAIDA. What difference does it make to you? Why should you +interfere? + +SASHA. What is this mania you all have for gossiping about a man +who has never done any of you any harm? Tell me, what harm has he +done you? + +THIRD GUEST. Let me say two words, Miss Sasha. I esteem Ivanoff, +and have always found him an honourable man, but, between +ourselves, I also consider him an adventurer. + +SASHA. I congratulate you on your opinion! + +THIRD GUEST. In proof of its truth, permit me to present to you +the following facts, as they were communicated to me by his +secretary, or shall I say rather, by his factotum, Borkin. Two +years ago, at the time of the cattle plague, he bought some +cattle and had them insured-- + +ZINAIDA. Yes, I remember hearing' of that. + +THIRD GUEST. He had them insured, as you understand, and then +inoculated them with the disease and claimed the insurance. + +SASHA. Oh, what nonsense, nonsense, nonsense! No one bought or +inoculated any cattle! The story was invented by Borkin, who then +went about boasting of his clever plan. Ivanoff would not forgive +Borkin for two weeks after he heard of it. He is only guilty of a +weak character and too great faith in humanity. He can't make up +his mind to get rid of that Borkin, and so all his possessions +have been tricked and stolen from him. Every one who has had +anything to do with Ivanoff has taken advantage of his generosity +to grow rich. + +LEBEDIEFF. Sasha, you little firebrand, that will do! + +SASHA. Why do you all talk like this? This eternal subject of +Ivanoff, Ivanoff, and always Ivanoff has grown insufferable, and +yet you never speak of anything else. [She goes toward the door, +then stops and comes back] I am surprised, [To the young men] and +utterly astonished at your patience, young men! How can you sit +there like that? Aren't you bored? Why, the very air is as dull +as ditchwater! Do, for heaven's sake say something; try to amuse +the girls a little, move about! Or if you can't talk of anything +except Ivanoff, you might laugh or sing or dance--- + +LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] That's right, Sasha! Give them a good +scolding. + +SASHA. Look here, will you do me a favour? If you refuse to dance +or sing or laugh, if all that is tedious, then let me beg you, +implore you, to summon all your powers, if only for this once, +and make one witty or clever remark. Let it be as impertinent and +malicious as you like, so long as it is funny and original. Won't +you perform this miracle, just once, to surprise us and make us +laugh? Or else you might think of some little thing which you +could all do together, something to make you stir about. Let the +girls admire you for once in their lives! Listen to me! I suppose +you want them to like you? Then why don't try to make them do it? +Oh, dear! There is something wrong with you all! You are a lot of +sleepy stick-in-the-muds! I have told you so a thousand times and +shall always go on repeating it; there is something wrong with +every one of you; something wrong, wrong, wrong! + +Enter IVANOFF and SHABELSKI through the door on the right. + +SHABELSKI. Who is making a speech here? Is it you, Sasha? [He +laughs and shakes hands with her] Many happy returns of the day, +my dear child. May you live as long as possible in this life, but +never be born again! + +ZINAIDA. [Joyfully] My dear Count! + +LEBEDIEFF. Who can this be? Not you, Count? + +SHABELSKI. [Sees ZINAIDA and MARTHA sitting side by side] Two +gold mines side by side! What a pleasant picture it makes! [He +shakes hands with ZINAIDA] Good evening, Zuzu! [Shakes hands with +MARTHA] Good evening, Birdie! + +ZINAIDA. I am charmed to see you, Count. You are a rare visitor +here now. [Calls] Gabriel, bring some tea! Please sit down. + +She gets up and goes to the door and back, evidently much +preoccupied. SASHA sits down in her former place. IVANOFF +silently shakes hands with every one. + +LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] What miracle has brought you here? You +have given us a great surprise. Why, Count, you're a rascal, you +haven't been treating us right at all. [Leads him forward by the +hand] Tell me, why don't you ever come to see us now? Are you +offended? + +SHABELSKI. How can I get here to see you? Astride a broomstick? I +have no horses of my own, and Nicholas won't take me with him +when he goes out. He says I must stay at home to amuse Sarah. +Send your horses for me and I shall come with pleasure. + +LEBE DIEFF. [With a wave of the hand] Oh, that is easy to say! +But Zuzu would rather have a fit than lend the horses to any one. +My dear, dear old friend, you are more to me than any one I know! +You and I are survivors of those good old days that are gone +forever, and you alone bring back to my mind the love and +longings of my lost youth. Of course I am only joking, and yet, +do you know, I am almost in tears? + +SHABELSKI. Stop, stop! You smell like the air of a wine cellar. + +LEBEDIEFF. Dear friend, you cannot imagine how lonely I am +without my old companions! I could hang myself! [Whispers] Zuzu +has frightened all the decent men away with her stingy ways, and +now we have only this riff-raff, as you see: Tom, Dick, and +Harry. However, drink your tea. + +ZINAIDA. [Anxiously, to GABRIEL] Don't bring it in like that! Go +fetch some jam to eat with it! + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Didn't I tell you so ? +[To LEBEDIEFF] I bet him driving over, that as soon as we arrived +Zuzu would want to feed us with jam! + +ZINAIDA. Still joking, Count! [She sits down.] + +LEBEDIEFF. She made twenty jars of it this year, and how else do +you expect her to get rid of it? + +SHABELSKI. [Sits down near the table] Are you still adding to the +hoard, Zuzu? You will soon have a million, eh? + +ZINAIDA. [Sighing] I know it seems as if no one could be richer +than we, but where do they think the money comes from? It is all +gossip. + +SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, we all know that! We know how badly you play +your cards! Tell me, Paul, honestly, have you saved up a million +yet? + +LEBEDIEFF. I don't know. Ask Zuzu. + +SHABELSKI. [To MARTHA] And my plump little Birdie here will soon +have a million too! She is getting prettier and plumper not only +every day, but every hour. That means she has a nice little +fortune. + +MARTHA. Thank you very much, your highness, but I don't like such +jokes. + +SHABELSKI. My dear little gold mine, do you call that a joke? It +was a wail of the soul, a cry from the heart, that burst through +my lips. My love for you and Zuzu is immense. [Gaily] Oh, +rapture! Oh, bliss! I cannot look at you two without a madly +beating heart! + +ZINAIDA. You are still the same, Count. [To GEORGE] Put out the +candles please, George. [GEORGE gives a start. He puts out the +candles and sits down again] How is your wife, Nicholas? + +IVANOFF. She is very ill. The doctor said to-day that she +certainly had consumption. + +ZINAIDA. Really? Oh, how sad! [She sighs] And we are all so fond +of her! + +SHABELSKI. What trash you all talk! That story was invented by +that sham doctor, and is nothing but a trick of his. He wants to +masquerade as an Aesculapius, and so has started this consumption +theory. Fortunately her husband isn't jealous. [IVANOFF makes an +inpatient gesture] As for Sarah, I wouldn't trust a word or an +action of hers. I have made a point all my life of mistrusting +all doctors, lawyers, and women. They are shammers and deceivers. + +LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] You are an extraordinary person, +Matthew! You have mounted this misanthropic hobby of yours, and +you ride it through thick and thin like a lunatic You are a man +like any other, and yet, from the way you talk one would imagine +that you had the pip, or a cold in the head. + +SHABELSKI. Would you have me go about kissing every rascal and +scoundrel I meet? + +LEBEDIEFF. Where do you find all these rascals and scoundrels? + +SHABELSKI. Of course I am not talking of any one here present, +nevertheless---- + +LEBEDIEFF. There you are again with your "nevertheless." All this +is simply a fancy of yours. + +SHABELSKI. A fancy? It is lucky for you that you have no +knowledge of the world! + +LEBEDIEFF. My knowledge of the world is this: I must sit here +prepared at any moment to have death come knocking at the door. +That is my knowledge of the world. At our age, brother, you and I +can't afford to worry about knowledge of the world. So then-- [He +calls] Oh, Gabriel! + +SHABELSKI. You have had quite enough already. Look at your nose. + +LEBEDIEFF. No matter, old boy. I am not going to be married +to-day. + +ZINAIDA. Doctor Lvoff has not been here for a long time. He seems +to have forgotten us. + +SASHA. That man is one of my aversions. I can't stand his icy +sense of honour. He can't ask for a glass of water or smoke a +cigarette without making a display of his remarkable honesty. +Walking and talking, it is written on his brow: "I am an honest +man." He is a great bore. + +SHABELSKI. He is a narrow-minded, conceited medico. [Angrily] He +shrieks like a parrot at every step: "Make way for honest +endeavour!" and thinks himself another St. Francis. Everybody is +a rascal who doesn't make as much noise as he does. As for his +penetration, it is simply remarkable! If a peasant is well off +and lives decently, he sees at once that he must be a thief and a +scoundrel. If I wear a velvet coat and am dressed by my valet, I +am a rascal and the valet is my slave. There is no place in this +world for a man like him. I am actually afraid of him. Yes, +indeed, he is likely, out of a sense of duty, to insult a man at +any moment and to call him a knave. + +IVANOFF. I am dreadfully tired of him, but I can't help liking +him, too, he is so sincere. + +SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, his sincerity is beautiful! He came up to me +yesterday evening and remarked absolutely apropos of nothing: +"Count, I have a deep aversion to you!" It isn't as if he said +such things simply, but they are extremely pointed. His voice +trembles, his eyes flash, his veins swell. Confound his infernal +honesty! Supposing I am disgusting and odious to him? What is +more natural? I know that I am, but I don't like to be told so to +my face. I am a worthless old man, but he might have the decency +to respect my grey hairs. Oh, what stupid, heartless honesty! + +LEBEDIEFF. Come, come, you have been young yourself, and should +make allowances for him. + +SHABELSKI. Yes, I have been young and reckless; I have played the +fool in my day and have seen plenty of knaves and scamps, but I +have never called a thief a thief to his face, or talked of ropes +in the house of a man who had been hung. I knew how to behave, +but this idiotic doctor of yours would think himself in the +seventh heaven of happiness if fate would allow him to pull my +nose in public in the name of morality and human ideals. + +LEBEDIEFF. Young men are all stubborn and restive. I had an uncle +once who thought himself a philosopher. He would fill his house +with guests, and after he had had a drink he would get up on a +chair, like this, and begin: "You ignoramuses! You powers of +darkness! This is the dawn of a new life!" And so on and so on; +he would preach and preach--- + +SASHA. And the guests? + +LEBEDIEFF. They would just sit and listen and go on drinking. +Once, though, I challenged him to a duel, challenged my own +uncle! It came out of a discussion about Sir Francis Bacon. I was +sitting, I remember, where Matthew is, and my uncle and the late +Gerasim Nilitch were standing over there, about where Nicholas is +now. Well, Gerasim Nilitch propounded this question--- + +Enter BORKIN. He is dressed like a dandy and carries a parcel +under his arm. He comes in singing and skipping through the door +on the right. A murmur of approval is heard. + +THE GIRLS. Oh, Michael Borkin! + +LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Misha! + +SHABELSKI. The soul of the company! + +BORKIN. Here we are! [He runs up to SASHA] Most noble Signorina, +let me be so bold as to wish to the whole world many happy +returns of the birthday of such an exquisite flower as you! As a +token of my enthusiasm let me presume to present you with these +fireworks and this Bengal fire of my own manufacture. [He hands +her the parcel] May they illuminate the night as brightly as you +illuminate the shadows of this dark world. [He spreads them out +theatrically before her.] + +SASHA. Thank you. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Why don't you send this +Judas packing? + +BORKIN. [To LEBEDIEFF] My compliments to you, sir. [To IVANOFF] +How are you, my patron? [Sings] Nicholas voila, hey ho hey! [He +greets everybody in turn] Most highly honoured Zinaida! Oh, +glorious Martha! Most ancient Avdotia! Noblest of Counts! + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing] The life of the company! The moment he +comes in the air fe els livelier. Have you noticed it? + +BORKIN. Whew! I am tired! I believe I have shaken hands with +everybody. Well, ladies and gentlemen, haven't you some little +tidbit to tell me; something spicy? [Speaking quickly to ZINAIDA] +Oh, aunty! I have something to tell you. As I was on my way +here-- [To GABRIEL] Some tea, please Gabriel, but without jam--as +I was on my way here I saw some peasants down on the river-bank +pulling the bark off the trees. Why don't you lease that meadow? + +LEBEDIEFF. [To IVANOFF] Why don't you send that Judas away? + +ZINAIDA. [Startled] Why, that is quite true! I never thought of +it. + +BORKIN. [Swinging his arms] I can't sit still! What tricks shall +we be up to next, aunty? I am all on edge, Martha, absolutely +exalted. [He sings] + + "Once more I stand before thee!" + +ZINAIDA. Think of something to amuse us, Misha, we are all bored. + +BORKIN. Yes, you look so. What is the matter with you all? Why +are you sitting there as solemn as a jury? Come, let us play +something; what shall it be? Forfeits? Hide-and-seek? Tag? Shall +we dance, or have the fireworks? + +THE GIRLS. [Clapping their hands] The fireworks! The fireworks! +[They run into the garden.] + +SASHA. [ To IVANOFF] What makes you so depressed today? + +IVANOFF. My head aches, little Sasha, and then I feel bored. + +SASHA. Come into the sitting-room with me. + +They go out through the door on the right. All the guests go into +the garden and ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF are left alone. + +ZINAIDA. That is what I like to see! A young man like Misha comes +into the room and in a minute he has everybody laughing. [She +puts out the large lamp] There is no reason the candles should +burn for nothing so long as they are all in the garden. [She +blows out the candles.] + +LEBEDIEFF. [Following her] We really ought to give our guests +something to eat, Zuzu! + +ZINAIDA. What crowds of candles; no wonder we are thought rich. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Still following her] Do let them have something to +eat, Zuzu; they are young and must be hungry by now, poor +things--Zuzu! + +ZINAIDA. The Count did not finish his tea, and all that sugar has +been wasted. [Goes out through the door on the left.] + +LEBEDIEFF. Bah! [Goes out into the garden.] + +Enter IVANOFF and SASHA through the door on the right. + +IVANOFF. This is how it is, Sasha: I used to work hard and think +hard, and never tire; now, I neither do anything nor think +anything, and I am weary, body and soul. I feel I am terribly to +blame, my conscience leaves me no peace day or night, and yet I +can't see clearly exactly what my mistakes are. And now comes my +wife's illness, our poverty, this eternal backbiting, gossiping, +chattering, that foolish Borkin--My home has become unendurable +to me, and to live there is worse than torture. Frankly, Sasha, +the presence of my wife, who loves me, has become unbearable. You +are an old friend, little Sasha, you will not be angry with me +for speaking so openly. I came to you to be cheered, but I am +bored here too, something urges me home again. Forgive me, I +shall slip away at once. + +SASHA. I can understand your trouble, Nicholas. You are unhappy +because you are lonely. You need some one at your side whom you +can love, someone who understands you. + +IVANOFF. What an idea, Sasha! Fancy a crusty old badger like +myself starting a love affair! Heaven preserve me from such +misfortune! No, my little sage, this is not a case for romance. +The fact is, I can endure all I have to suffer: sadness, sickness +of mind, ruin, the loss of my wife, and my lonely, broken old +age, but I cannot, I will not, endure the contempt I have for +myself! I am nearly killed by shame when I think that a strong, +healthy man like myself has become--oh, heaven only knows +what--by no means a Manfred or a Hamlet! There are some +unfortunates who feel flattered when people call them Hamlets and +cynics, but to me it is an insult. It wounds my pride and I am +tortured by shame and suffer agony. + +SASHA. [Laughing through her tears] Nicholas, let us run away to +America together! + +IVANOFF. I haven't the energy to take such a step as that, and +besides, in America you-- [They go toward the door into the +garden] As a matter of fact, Sasha, this is not a good place for +you to live. When I look about at the men who surround you I am +terrified for you; whom is there you could marry? Your only +chance will be if some passing lieutenant or student steals your +heart and carries you away. + +Enter ZINAIDA through the door on the right with a jar of jam. + +IVANOFF. Excuse me, Sasha, I shall join you in a minute. + +SASHA goes out into the garden. + +IVANOFF. [To ZINAIDA] Zinaida, may I ask you a favour? + +ZINAIDA. What is it? + +IVANOFF. The fact is, you know, that the interest on my note is +due day after to-morrow, but I should be more than obliged to you +if you will let me postpone the payment of it, or would let me +add the interest to the capital. I simply cannot pay it now; I +haven't the money. + +ZINAIDA. Oh, Ivanoff, how could I do such a thing? Would it be +business-like? No, no, don't ask it, don't torment an unfortunate +old woman. + +IVANOFF. I beg your pardon. [He goes out into the garden.] + +ZINAIDA. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! What a fright he gave me! I am +trembling all over. [Goes out through the door on the right.] + +Enter KOSICH through the door on the left. He walks across the +stage. + +KOSICH. I had the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the +ace of spades, and one, just one little heart, and she--may the +foul fiend fly away with her,--she couldn't make a little slam! + +Goes out through the door on the right. Enter from the garden +AVDOTIA and FIRST GUEST. + +AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her, the +miserable old miser! How I should like it! Does she think it a +joke to leave us sitting here since five o'clock without even +offering us a crust to eat? What a house! What management! + +FIRST GUEST. I am so bored that I feel like beating my head +against the wall. Lord, what a queer lot of people! I shall soon +be howling like a wolf and snapping at them from hunger and +weariness. + +AVDOTIA. How I should like to get my claws into her, the old +sinner! + +FIRST GUEST. I shall get a drink, old lady, and then home I go! I +won't have anything to do with these belles of yours. How the +devil can a man think of love who hasn't had a drop to drink +since dinner? + +AVDOTIA. Come on, we will go and find something. + +FIRST GUEST. Sh! Softly! I think the brandy is in the sideboard +in the dining-room. We will find George! Sh! + +They go out through the door on the left. Enter ANNA and LVOFF +through the door on the right. + +ANNA. No, they will be glad to see us. Is no one here? Then they +must be in the garden. + +LVOFF. I should like to know why you have brought me into this +den of wolves. This is no place for you and me; honourable people +should not be subjected to such influences as these. + +ANNA. Listen to me, Mr. Honourable Man. When you are escorting a +lady it is very bad manners to talk to her the whole way about +nothing but your own honesty. Such behaviour may be perfectly +honest, but it is also tedious, to say the least. Never tell a +woman how good you are; let her find it out herself. My Nicholas +used only to sing and tell stories when he was young as you are, +and yet every woman knew at once what kind of a man he was. + +LVOFF. Don't talk to me of your Nicholas; I know all about him! + +ANNA. You are a very worthy man, but you don't know anything at +all. Come into the garden. He never said: "I am an honest man; +these surroundings are too narrow for me." He never spoke of +wolves' dens, called people bears or vultures. He left the animal +kingdom alone, and the most I have ever heard him say when he was +excited was: "Oh, how unjust I have been to-day!" or "Annie, I am +sorry for that man." That's what he would say, but you-- + +ANNA and LVOFF go out. Enter AVDOTIA and FIRST GUEST through the +door on the left. + +FIRST GUEST. There isn't any in the dining-room, so it must be +somewhere in the pantry. We must find George. Come this way, +through the sitting-room. + +AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her! + +They go out through the door on the right. MARTHA and BORKIN run +in laughing from the garden. SHABELSK I comes mincing behind +them, laughing and rubbing his hands. + +MARTHA. Oh, I am so bored! [Laughs loudly] This is deadly! Every +one looks as if he had swallowed a poker. I am frozen to the +marrow by this icy dullness. [She skips about] Let us do +something! + +BORKIN catches her by the waist and kisses her cheek. + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing and snapping his fingers] Well, I'll be +hanged! [Cackling] Really, you know! + +MARTHA. Let go! Let go, you wretch! What will the Count think? +Stop, I say! + +BORKIN. Angel! Jewel! Lend me twenty-three hundred roubles. + +MARTHA. Most certainly not! Do what you please, but I'll thank +you to leave my money alone. No, no, no! Oh, let go, will you? + +SHABELSKI. [Mincing around them] The little birdie has its +charms! [Seriously] Come, that will do! + +BORKIN. Let us come to the point, and consider my proposition +frankly as a business arrangement. Answer me honestly, without +tricks and equivocations, do you agree to do it or not? Listen to +me; [Pointing to Shabelski] he needs money to the amount of at +least three thousand a year; you need a husband. Do you want to +be a Countess? + +SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly] Oh, the cynic! + +BORKIN. Do you want to be a Countess or not? + +MARTHA. [Excitedly] Wait a minute; really, Misha, these things +aren't done in a second like this. If the Count wants to marry +me, let him ask me himself, and--and--I don't see, I don't +understand--all this is so sudden--- + +BORKIN. Come, don't let us beat about the bush; this is a +business arrangement. Do you agree or not? + +SHABELSKI. [Chuckling and rubbing his hands] Supposing I do marry +her, eh? Hang it, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? +What do you say, little puss? [He kisses her cheek] Dearest +chick-a-biddy! + +MARTHA. Stop! Stop! I hardly know what I am doing. Go away! +No--don't go! + +BORKIN. Answer at once: is it yes or no? We can't stand here +forever. + +MARTHA. Look here, Count, come and visit me for three or four +days. It is gay at my house, not like this place. Come to-morrow. +[To BORKIN] Or is this all a joke? + +BORKIN. [Angrily] How could I joke on such a serious subject? + +MARTHA. Wait! Stop! Oh, I feel faint! A Countess! I am fainting, +I am falling! + +BORKIN and SHABELSKI laugh and catch her by the arms. They kiss +her cheeks and lead her out through the door on the right. +IVANOFF and SASHA run in from the garden. + +IVANOFF. [Desperately clutching his head] It can't be true! Don't +Sasha, don't! Oh, I implore you not to! + +SASHA. I love you madly. Without you my life can have no meaning, +no happiness, no hope. + +IVANOFF. Why, why do you say that? What do you mean? Little +Sasha, don't say it! + +SASHA. You were the only joy of my childhood; I loved you body +and soul then, as myself, but now--Oh, I love you, Nicholas! Take +me with you to the ends of the earth, wherever you wish; but for +heaven's sake let us go at once, or I shall die. + +IVANOFF. [Shaking with wild laughter] What is this? Is it the +beginning for me of a new life? Is it, Sasha? Oh, my happiness, +my joy! [He draws her to him] My freshness, my youth! + +Enter ANNA from the garden. She sees her husband and SASHA, and +stops as if petrified. + +IVANOFF. Oh, then I shall live once more? And work? + +IVANOFF and SASHA kiss each other. After the kiss they look +around and see ANNA. + +IVANOFF. [With horror] Sarah! + +The curtain falls. + +ACT III + +Library in IVANOFF'S house. On the walls hang maps, pictures, +guns, pistols, sickles, whips, etc. A writing-table. On it lie in +disorder knick-knacks, papers, books, parcels, and several +revolvers. Near the papers stand a lamp, a decanter of vodka, and +a plate of salted herrings. Pieces of bread and cucumber are +scattered about. SHABELSKI and LEBEDIEFF are sitting at the +writing-table. BORKIN is sitting astride a chair in the middle of +the room. PETER is standing near the door. + +LEBEDIEFF. The policy of France is clear and definite; the French +know what they want: it is to skin those German sausages, but the +Germans must sing another song; France is not the only thorn in +their flesh. + +SHABELSKI. Nonsense! In my opinion the Germans are cowards and +the French are the same. They are showing their teeth at one +another, but you can take my word for it, they will not do more +than that; they'll never fight! + +BORKIN. Why should they fight? Why all these congresses, this +arming and expense? Do you know what I would do in their place? I +would catch all the dogs in the kingdom and inoculate them with +Pasteur's serum, then I would let them loose in the enemy's +country, and the enemies would all go mad in a month. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] His head is small, but the great ideas are +hidden away in it like fish in the sea! + +SHABELSKI. Oh, he is a genius. + +LEBEDIEFF. Heaven help you, Misha, you are a funny chap. [He +stops laughing] But how is this, gentlemen? Here we are talking +Germany, Germany, and never a word about vodka! Repetatur! [He +fills three glasses] Here's to you all! [He drinks and eats] This +herring is the best of all relishes. + +SHABELSKI. No, no, these cucumbers are better; every wise man +since the creation of the world has been trying to invent +something better than a salted cucumber, and not one has +succeeded. [To PETER] Peter, go and fetch some more cucumbers. +And Peter, tell the cook to make four little onion pasties, and +see that we get them hot. + +PETER goes out. + +LEBEDIEFF. Caviar is good with vodka, but it must be prepared +with skill. Take a quarter of a pound of pressed caviar, two +little onions, and a little olive oil; mix them together and put +a slice of lemon on top--so! Lord! The very perfume would drive +you crazy! + +BORKIN. Roast snipe are good too, but they must be cooked right. +They should first be cleaned, then sprinkled with bread crumbs, +and roasted until they will crackle between the teeth--crunch, +crunch! + +SHABELSKI. We had something good at Martha's yesterday: white +mushrooms. + +LEBEDIEFF. You don't say so! + +SHABELSKI. And they were especially well prepared, too, with +onions and bay-leaves and spices, you know. When the dish was +opened, the odour that floated out was simply intoxicating! + +LEBEDIEFF. What do you say, gentlemen? Repetatur! [He drinks] +Good health to you! [He looks at his watch] I must be going. I +can't wait for Nicholas. So you say Martha gave you mushrooms? We +haven't seen one at home. Will you please tell me, Count, what +plot you are hatching that takes you to Martha's so often? + +SHABELSKI. [Nodding at BORKIN] He wants me to marry her. + +LEBEDIEFF. Wants you to marry her! How old are you? + +SHABELSKI. Sixty-two. + +LEBEDIEFF. Really, you are just the age to marry, aren't you? And +Martha is just suited to you! + +BORKIN. This is not a question of Martha, but of Martha's money. + +LEBEDIEFF. Aren't you moonstruck, and don't you want the moon +too? + +SHABELSKI. Borkin here is quite in earnest about it; the clever +fellow is sure I shall obey orders, and marry Martha. + +BORKIN. What do you mean? Aren't you sure yourself? + +SHABELSKI. Are you mad? I never was sure of anything. Bah! + +BORKIN. Many thanks! I am much obliged to you for the +information. So you are trying to fool me, are you? First you say +you will marry Martha and then you say you won't; the devil only +knows which you really mean, but I have given her my word of +honour that you will. So you have changed your mind, have you? + +SHABELSKI. He is actually in earnest; what an extraordinary man! + +BORKIN. [losing his temper] If that is how you feel about it, why +have you turned an honest woman's head? Her heart is set on your +title, and she can neither eat nor sleep for thinking of it. How +can you make a jest of such things? Do you think such behaviour +is honourable? + +SHABELSKI. [Snapping his fingers] Well, why not play her this +shabby trick, after all? Eh? Just out of spite? I shall certainly +do it, upon my word I shall! What a joke it will be! + +Enter LVOFF. + +LEBEDIEFF. We bow before you, Aesculapius! [He shakes hands with +LVOFF and sings] + + "Doctor, doctor, save, oh, save me, + I am scared to death of dying!" + +LVOFF. Hasn't Ivanoff come home yet? + +LEBEDIEFF. Not yet. I have been waiting for him myself for over +an hour. + +LVOFF walks impatiently up and down. + +LEBEDIEFF. How is Anna to-day? + +LVO FF. Very ill. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Sighing] May one go and pay one's respects to her? + +LVOFF. No, please don't. She is asleep, I believe. + +LEBEDIEFF. She is a lovely, charming woman. [Sighing] The day she +fainted at our house, on Sasha's birthday, I saw that she had not +much longer to live, poor thing. Let me see, why did she faint? +When I ran up, she was lying on the floor, ashy white, with +Nicholas on his knees beside her, and Sasha was standing by them +in tears. Sasha and I went about almost crazy for a week after +that. + +SHABELSKI. [To LVOFF] Tell me, most honoured disciple of science, +what scholar discovered that the frequent visits of a young +doctor were beneficial to ladies suffering from affections of the +chest? It is a remarkable discovery, remarkable! Would you call +such treatment Allopathic or Homeopathic? + +LVOFF tries to answer, but makes an impatient gesture instead, +and walks out of the room. + +SHABELSKI. What a withering look he gave me! + +LEBEDIEFF. Some fiend must prompt you to say such things! Why did +you offend him? + +SHABELSKI. [Angrily] Why does he tell such lies? Consumption! No +hope! She is dying! It is nonsense, I can't abide him! + +LEBEDIEFF. What makes you think he is lying? + +SHABELSKI. [Gets up and walks up and down] I can't bear to think +that a living person could die like that, suddenly, without any +reason at all. Don't let us talk about it! + +KOSICH runs in panting. + +KOSICH. Is Ivanoff at home? How do you do? [He shakes hands +quickly all round] Is he at home? + +BORKIN. No, he isn't. + +KOSICH. [Sits down and jumps up again] In that case I must say +goodbye; I must be going. Business, you know. I am absolutely +exhausted; run off my feet! + +LEBEDIEFF. Where did you blow in from? + +KOSICH. From Barabanoff's. He and I have been playing cards all +night; we have only just stopped. I have been absolutely fleeced; +that Barabanoff is a demon at cards. [In a tearful voice] Just +listen to this: I had a heart and he [He turns to BORKIN, who +jumps away from him] led a diamond, and I led a heart, and he led +another diamond. Well, he didn't take the trick. [To LEBEDIEFF] +We were playing three in clubs. I had the ace and queen, and the +ace and ten of spades-- + +LEBEDIEFF. [Stopping up his ears] Spare me, for heaven's sake, +spare me! + +KOSICH. [To SHABELSKI] Do you understand? I had the ace and queen +of clubs, the ace and ten of spades + +SHABELSKI. [Pushes him away] Go away, I don't want to listen to +you! + +KOSICH. When suddenly misfortune overtook me. My ace of spades +took the first trick-- + +SHABELSKI. [Snatching up a revolver] Leave the room, or I shall +shoot! + +KOSICH. [Waving his hands] What does this mean? Is this the +Australian bush, where no one has any interests in common? Where +there is no public spirit, and each man lives for himself alone? +However, I must be off. My time is precious. [He shakes hands +with LEBEDIEFF] Pass! + +General laughter. KOSICH goes out. In the doorway he runs into +AVDOTIA. + +AVDOTIA. [Shrieks] Bad luck to you, you nearly knocked me down. + +ALL. Oh, she is always everywhere at once! + +AVDOTIA. So this is where you all are? I have been looking for +you all over the house. Good-day to you, boys! + +[She shakes hands with everybody.] + +LEBEDIEFF. What brings you here? + +AVDOTIA. Business, my son. [To SHABELSKI] Business connected with +your highness. She commanded me to bow. [She bows] And to inquire +after your health. She told me to say, the little birdie, that if +you did not come to see her this evening she would cry her eyes +out. Take him aside, she said, and whisper in his ear. But why +should I make a secret of her message? We are not stealing +chickens, but arranging an affair of lawful love by mutual +consent of both parties. And now, although I never drink, I shall +take a drop under these circumstances. + +LEBEDIEFF. So shall I. [He pours out the vodka] You must be +immortal, you old magpie! You were an old woman when I first knew +you, thirty years ago. + +AVDOTIA. I have lost count of the years. I have buried three +husbands, and would have married a fourth if any one had wanted a +woman without a dowry. I have had eight children. [She takes up +the glass] Well, we have begun a good work, may it come to a good +end! They will live happily ever after, and we shall enjoy their +happiness. Love and good luck to them both! [She drinks] This is +strong vodka! + +SHABELSKI. [laughing loudly, to LEBEDIEFF] The funny thing is, +they actually think I am in earnest. How strange! [He gets up] +And yet, Paul, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? Just +out of spite? To give the devil something to do, eh, Paul? + +LEBEDIEFF. You are talking nonsense, Count. You and I must fix +our thoughts on dying now; we have left Martha's money far behind +us; our day is over. + +SHABELSKI. No, I shall certainly marry her; upon my word, I +shall! + +Enter IVANOFF and LVOFF. + +LVOFF. Will you please spare me five minutes of your time? + +LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Nicholas! [He goes to meet IVANOFF] How are +you, old friend? I have been waiting an hour for you. + +AVDOTIA. [Bows] How do you do, my son? + +IVANOFF. [Bitterly] So you have turned my library into a bar-room +again, have you? And yet I have begged you all a thousand times +not to do so! [He goes up to the table] There, you see, you have +spilt vodka all over my papers and scattered crumbs and cucumbers +everywhere! It is disgusting! + +LEBEDIEFF. I beg your pardon, Nicholas. Please forgive me. I have +something very important to speak to you about. + +BORKIN. So have I. + +LVOFF. May I have a word with you? + +IVANOFF. [Pointing to LEBEDIEFF] He wants to speak to me; wait a +minute. [To LEBEDIEFF] Well, what is it? + +LEBEDIEFF. [To the others] Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I +want to speak to him in private. + +SHABELSKI goes out, followed by AVDOTIA, BORKIN, and LVOFF. + +IVANOFF. Paul, you may drink yourself as much as you choose, it +is your weakness, but I must ask you not to make my uncle tipsy. +He never used to drink at all; it is bad for him. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Startled] My dear boy, I didn't know that! I wasn't +thinking of him at all. + +IVANOFF. If this old baby should die on my hands the blame would +be mine, not yours. Now, what do you want? [A pause.] + +LEBEDIEFF. The fact is, Nicholas--I really don't know how I can +put it to make it seem less brutal--Nicholas, I am ashamed of +myself, I am blushing, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. +My dear boy, put yourself in my place; remember that I am not a +free man, I am as putty in the hands of my wife, a slave--forgive +me! + +IVANOFF. What does this mean? + +LEBEDIEFF. My wife has sent me to you; do me a favour, be a +friend to me, pay her the interest on the money you owe her. +Believe me, she has been tormenting me and going for me tooth and +nail. For heaven's sake, free yourself from her clutches! + +IVANOFF. You know, Paul, that I have no money now. + +LEBEDIEFF. I know, I know, but what can I do? She won't wait. If +she should sue you for the money, how could Sasha and I ever look +you in the face again? + +IVANOFF. I am ready to sink through the floor with shame, Paul, +but where, where shall I get the money? Tell me, where? There is +nothing I can do but to wait until I sell my wheat in the autumn. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Shrieks] But she won't wait! [A pause.] + +IVANOFF. Your position is very delicate and unpleasant, but mine +is even worse. [He walks up and down in deep thought] I am at my +wit's end, there is nothing I can sell now. + +LEBEDIEFF. You might go to Mulbach and get some money from him; +doesn't he owe you sixty thousand roubles? + +IVANOFF makes a despairing gesture. + +LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas, I know you will be angry, but +you must forgive an old drunkard like me. This is between +friends; remember I am your friend. We were students together, +both Liberals; we had the same interests and ideals; we studied +together at the University of Moscow. It is our Alma Mater. [He +takes out his purse] I have a private fund here; not a soul at +home knows of its existence. Let me lend it to you. [He takes out +the money and lays it on the table] Forget your pride; this is +between friends! I should take it from you, indeed I should! [A +pause] There is the money, one hundred thousand roubles. Take +it; +go to her y ourself and say: "Take the money, Zinaida, and may +you choke on it." Only, for heaven's sake, don't let her see by +your manner that you got it from me, or she would certainly go +for me, with her old jam! [He looks intently into IVANOFF'S face] +There, there, no matter. [He quickly takes up the money and +stuffs it back into his pocket] Don't take it, I was only joking. +Forgive me! Are you hurt? + +IVANOFF waves his hand. + +LEBEDIEFF. Yes, the truth is-- [He sighs] This is a time of +sorrow and pain for you. A man, brother, is like a samovar; he +cannot always stand coolly on a shelf; hot coals will be dropped +into him some day, and then--fizz! The comparison is idiotic, but +it is the best I can think of. [Sighing] Misfortunes wring the +soul, and yet I am not worried about you, brother. Wheat goes +through the mill, and comes out as flour, and you will come +safely through your troubles; but I am annoyed, Nicholas, and +angry with the people around you. The whole countryside is +buzzing with gossip; where does it all start? They say you will +be soon arrested for your debts, that you are a bloodthirsty +murderer, a monster of cruelty, a robber. + +IVANOFF. All that is nothing to me; my head is aching. + +LEBEDIEFF. Because you think so much. + +IVANOFF. I never think. + +LEBEDIEFF. Come, Nicholas, snap your fingers at the whole thing, +and drive over to visit us. Sasha loves and understands you. She +is a sweet, honest, lovely girl; too good to be the child of her +mother and me! Sometimes, when I look at her, I cannot believe +that such a treasure could belong to a fat old drunkard like me. +Go to her, talk to her, and let her cheer you. She is a good, +true-hearted girl. + +IVANOFF. Paul, my dear friend, please go, and leave me alone. + +LEBEDIEFF. I understand, I understand! [He glances at his watch] +Yes, I understand. [He kisses IVANOFF] Good-bye, I must go to the +blessing of the school now. [He goes as far as the door, then +stops] She is so clever! Sasha and I were talking about gossiping +yesterday, and she flashed out this epigram: "Father," she said, +"fire-flies shine at night so that the night-birds may make them +their prey, and good people are made to be preyed upon by gossips +and slanderers." What do you think of that? She is a genius, +another George Sand! + +IVANOFF. [Stopping him as he goes out] Paul, what is the matter +with me? + +LEBEDIEFF. I have wanted to ask you that myself, but I must +confess I was ashamed to. I don't know, old chap. Sometimes I +think your troubles have been too heavy for you, and yet I know +you are not the kind to give in to them; you would not be +overcome by misfortune. It must be something else, Nicholas, but +what it may be I can't imagine. + +IVANOFF. I can't imagine either what the matter is, unless--and +yet no-- [A pause] Well, do you see, this is what I wanted to +say. I used to have a workman called Simon, you remember him. +Once, at threshing-time, to show the girls how strong he was, he +loaded himself with two sacks of rye, and broke his back. He died +soon after. I think I have broken my back also. First I went to +school, then to the university, then came the cares of this +estate, all my plans--I did not believe what others did; did not +marry as others did; I worked passionately, risked everything; no +one else, as you know, threw their money away to right and left +as I did. So I heaped the burdens on my back, and it broke. We +are all heroes at twenty, ready to attack anything, to do +everything, and at thirty are worn-out, useless men. How, oh, how +do you account for this weariness? However, I may be quite wrong; +go away, Paul, I am boring you. + +LEBEDIEFF. I know what is the matter with you, old man: you got +out of bed on the wrong side this morning. + +IVANOFF. That is stupid, Paul, and stale. Go away! + +LEBEDIEFF. It is stupid, certainly. I see that myself now. I am +going at once. [LEBEDIEFF goes out. + +IVANOFF. [Alone] I am a worthless, miserable, useless man. Only a +man equally miserable and suffering, as Paul is, could love or +esteem me now. Good God! How I loathe myself! How bitterly I hate +my voice, my hands, my thoughts, these clothes, each step I take! +How ridiculous it is, how disgusting! Less than a year ago I was +healthy and strong, full of pride and energy and enthusiasm. I +worked with these hands here, and my words could move the dullest +man to tears. I could weep with sorrow, and grow indignant at the +sight of wrong. I could feel the glow of inspiration, and +understand the beauty and romance of the silent nights which I +used to watch through from evening until dawn, sitting at my +worktable, and giving up my soul to dreams. I believed in a +bright future then, and looked into it as trustfully as a child +looks into its mother's eyes. And now, oh, it is terrible! I am +tired and without hope; I spend my days and nights in idleness; I +have no control over my feet or brain. My estate is ruined, my +woods are falling under the blows of the axe. [He weeps] My +neglected land looks up at me as reproachfully as an orphan. I +expect nothing, am sorry for nothing; my whole soul trembles at +the thought of each new day. And what can I think of my treatment +of Sarah? I promised her love and happiness forever; I opened her +eyes to the promise of a future such as she had never even +dreamed of. She believed me, and though for five years I have +seen her sinking under the weight of her sacrifices to me, and +losing her strength in her struggles with her conscience, God +knows she has never given me one angry look, or uttered one word +of reproach. What is the result? That I don't love her! Why? Is +it possible? Can it be true? I can't understand. She is +suffering; her days are numbered; yet I fly like a contemptible +coward from her white face, her sunken chest, her pleading eyes. +Oh, I am ashamed, ashamed! [A pause] Sasha, a young girl, is +sorry for me in my misery. She confesses to me that she loves me; +me, almost an old man! Whereupon I lose my head, and exalted as +if by music, I yell: "Hurrah for a new life and new happiness!" +Next day I believe in this new life and happiness as little as I +believe in my happiness at home. What is the matter with me? What +is this pit I am wallowing in? What is the cause of this +weakness? What does this nervousness come from? If my sick wife +wounds my pride, if a servant makes a mistake, if my gun misses +fire, I lose my temper and get violent and altogether unlike +myself. I can't, I can't understand it; the easiest way out would +be a bullet through the head! + +Enter LVOFF. + +LVOFF. I must have an explanation with you, Ivanoff. + +IVANOFF. If we are going to have an explanation every day, +doctor, we shall neither of us have the strength to stand it. + +LVOFF. Will you be good enough to hear me? + +IVANOFF. I have heard all you have told me every day, and have +failed to discover yet what you want me to do. + +LVOFF. I have always spoken plainly enough, and only an utterly +heartless and cruel man could fail to understand me. + +IVANOFF. I know that my wife is dying; I know that I have sinned +irreparably; I know that you are an honest man. What more can you +tell me? + +LVOFF. The sight of human cruelty maddens me. The woman is dying +and she has a mother and father whom she loves, and longs to see +once more before she dies. They know that she is dying and that +she loves them still, but with diabolical cruelty, as if to +flaunt their religious zeal, they refuse to see her and forgive +her. You are the man for whom she has sacrificed her home, her +peace of mind, everything. Yet you unblushingly go gadding to the +Lebedieffs' every evening, for reasons that are absolutely +unmistakable! + +IVANOFF. Ah me, it is two weeks since I was there! + +LVOFF. [Not listening to him] To men like yourself one must speak +plainly, and if you don't want to hear what I have to say, you +need not listen. I always call a spade a spade; the truth is, you +want her to die so that the way may be cleared for your other +schemes. Be it so; but can't you wait? If, instead of crushing +the life out of your wife by your heartless egoism, you let her +die naturally, do you think you would lose Sasha and Sasha's +money? Such an absolute Tartuffe as you are could turn the girl's + head and get her money a year from now as easily as you can +to-day. Why are you in such a hurry? Why do you want your wife to +die now, instead of in a month's time, or a year's? + +IVANOFF. This is torture! You are a very bad doctor if you think +a man can control himself forever. It is all I can do not to +answer your insults. + +LVOFF. Look here, whom are you trying to deceive? Throw off this +disguise! + +IVANOFF. You who are so clever, you think that nothing in the +world is easier than to understand me, do you? I married Annie +for her money, did I? And when her parents wouldn't give it to +me, I changed my plans, and am now hustling her out of the world +so that I may marry another woman, who will bring me what I want? +You think so, do you? Oh, how easy and simple it all is! But you +are mistaken, doctor; in each one of us there are too many +springs, too many wheels and cogs for us to judge each other by +first impressions or by two or three external indications. I can +not understand you, you cannot understand me, and neither of us +can understand himself. A man may be a splendid doctor, and at +the same time a very bad judge of human nature; you will admit +that, unless you are too self-confident. + +LVOFF. Do you really think that your character is so mysterious, +and that I am too stupid to tell vice from virtue? + +IVANOFF. It is clear that we shall never agree, so let me beg you +to answer me now without any more preamble: exactly what do you +want me to do? [Angrily] What are you after anyway? And with whom +have I the honour of speaking? With my lawyer, or with my wife's +doctor? + +LVOFF. I am a doctor, and as such I demand that you change your +conduct toward your wife; it is killing her. + +IVANOFF. What shall I do? Tell me! If you understand me so much +better than I understand myself, for heaven's sake tell me +exactly what to do! + +LVOFF. In the first place, don't be so unguarded in your +behaviour. + +IVANOFF. Heaven help me, do you mean to say that you understand +yourself? [He drinks some water] Now go away; I am guilty a +thousand times over; I shall answer for my sins before God; but +nothing has given you the right to torture me daily as you do. + +LVOFF. Who has given you the right to insult my sense of honour? +You have maddened and poisoned my soul. Before I came to this +place I knew that stupid, crazy, deluded people existed, but I +never imagined that any one could be so criminal as to turn his +mind deliberately in the direction of wickedness. I loved and +esteemed humanity then, but since I have known you-- + +IVANOFF. I have heard all that before. + +LVOFF. You have, have you? + +He goes out, shrugging his shoulders. He sees SASHA, who comes in +at this moment dressed for riding. + +LVOFF. Now, however, I hope that we can understand one another! + +IVANOFF. [Startled] Oh, Sasha, is that you? + +SASHA. Yes, it is I. How are you? You didn't expect me, did you? +Why haven't you been to see us? + +IVANOFF. Sasha, this is really imprudent of you! Your coming will +have a terrible effect on my wife! + +SASHA. She won't see me; I came in by the back entrance; I shall +go in a minute. I am so anxious about you. Tell me, are you well? +Why haven't you been to see us for such a long time? + +IVANOFF. My wife is offended already, and almost dying, and now +you come here; Sasha, Sasha, this is thoughtless and unkind of +you. + +SASHA. How could I help coming? It is two weeks since you were at +our house, and you have not answered my letters. I imagined you +suffering dreadfully, or ill, or dead. I have not slept for +nights. I am going now, but first tell me that you are well. + +IVANOFF. No, I am not well. I am a torment to myself, and every +one torments me without end. I can't stand it! And now you come +here. How morbid and unnatural it all is, Sasha. I am terribly +guilty. + +SASHA. What dreadful, pitiful speeches you make! So you are +guilty, are you? Tell me, then, what is it you have done? + +IVANOFF I don't know; I don't know! + +SASHA. That is no answer. Every sinner should know what he is +guilty of. Perhaps you have been forging money? + +IVANOFF. That is stupid. + +SASHA. Or are you guilty because you no longer love your wife? +Perhaps you are, but no one is master of his feelings, and you +did not mean to stop loving her. Do you feel guilty because she +saw me telling you that I love you? No, that cannot be, because +you did not want her to see it-- + +IVANOFF. [Interrupting her] And so on, and so on! First you say I +love, and then you say I don't; that I am not master of my +feelings. All these are commonplace, worn-out sentiments, with +which you cannot help me. + +SASHA. It is impossible to talk to you. [She looks at a picture +on the wall] How well those dogs are drawn! Were they done from +life? + +IVANOFF. Yes, from life. And this whole romance of ours is a +tedious old story; a man loses heart and begins to go down in the +world; a girl appears, brave and strong of heart, and gives him a +hand to help him to rise again. Such situations are pretty, but +they are only found in novels and not in real life. + +SASHA. No, they are found in real life too. + +IVANOFF. Now I see how well you understand real life! My +sufferings seem noble to you; you imagine you have discovered in +me a second Hamlet; but my state of mind in all its phases is +only fit to furnish food for contempt and derision. My +contortions are ridiculous enough to make any one die of +laughter, and you want to play the guardian angel; you want to do +a noble deed and save me. Oh, how I hate myself to-day! I feel +that this tension must soon be relieved in some way. Either I +shall break something, or else-- + +SASHA. That is exactly what you need. Let yourself go! Smash +something; break it to pieces; give a yell! You are angry with +me, it was foolish of me to come here. Very well, then, get +excited about it; storm at me; stamp your feet! Well, aren't you +getting angry? + +IVANOFF. You ridiculous girl! + +SASHA. Splendid! So we are smiling at last! Be kind, do me the +favour of smiling once more! + +IVANOFF. [Laughing] I have noticed that whenever you start +reforming me and saving my soul, and teaching me how to be good, +your face grows naive, oh so naive, and your eyes grow as wide as +if you were looking at a comet. Wait a moment; your shoulder is +covered with dust. [He brushes her shoulder] A naive man is +nothing better than a fool, but you women contrive to be naive in +such a way that in you it seems sweet, and gentle, and proper, +and not as silly as it really is. What a strange way you have, +though, of ignoring a man as long as he is well and happy, and +fastening yourselves to him as soon as he begins to whine and go +down-hill! Do you actually think it is worse to be the wife of a +strong man than to nurse some whimpering invalid? + +SASHA. Yes, it is worse. + +IVANOFF. Why do you think so? [Laughing loudly] It is a good +thing Darwin can't hear what you are saying! He would be furious +with you for degrading the human race. Soon, thanks to your +kindness, only invalids and hypochondriacs will be born into the +world. + +SASHA. There are a great many things a man cannot understand. Any +girl would rather love an unfortunate man than a fortunate one, +because every girl would like to do something by loving. A man +has his work to do, and so for him love is kept in the +background. To talk to his wife, to walk with her in the garden, +to pass the time pleasantly with her, that is all that love means +to a man. But for us, love means life. I love you; that means +that I dream only of how I shall cure you of your sadness, how I +shall go with you to the ends of the earth. If you are in heaven, +I am in heaven; if you are in the pit, I am in the pit. For +instance, it would be the greatest happiness for me to write all +night for you, or to watch all night that no one should wake you. +I remember that three years ago, at threshing time, you came to +us all dusty and sunburnt and tired, and asked for a drink. When +I brought you a glass of water you were already lying on the sofa +and sleeping like a dead man. You slept there for half a day, and +all that time I watched by the door that no one should disturb +you. How happy I was! The more a girl can do, the greater her +love will be; that is, + I mean, the more she feels it + +IVANOFF. The love that accomplishes things--hm--that is a fairy +tale, a girl's dream; and yet, perhaps it is as it should be. [He +shrugs his shoulders] How can I tell? [Gaily] On my honour, +Sasha, I really am quite a respectable man. Judge for yourself: I +have always liked to discuss things, but I have never in my life +said that our women were corrupt, or that such and such a woman +was on the down-hill path. I have always been grateful, and +nothing more. No, nothing more. Dear child, how comical you are! +And what a ridiculous old stupid I am! I shock all good Christian +folk, and go about complaining from morning to night. [He laughs +and then leaves her suddenly] But you must go, Sasha; we have +forgotten ourselves. + +SASHA. Yes, it is time to go. Good-bye. I am afraid that that +honest doctor of yours will have told Anna out of a sense of duty +that I am here. Take my advice: go at once to your wife and stay +with her. Stay, and stay, and stay, and if it should be for a +year, you must still stay, or for ten years. It is your duty. You +must repent, and ask her forgiveness, and weep. That is what you +ought to do, and the great thing is not to forget to do right. + +IVANOFF. Again I feel as if I were going crazy; again! + +SASHA. Well, heaven help you! You must forget me entirely. In two +weeks you must send me a line and I shall be content with that. +But I shall write to you-- + +BORKIN looks in at the door. + +BORKIN. Ivanoff, may I come in? [He sees SASHA] I beg your +pardon, I did not see you. Bonjour! [He bows.] + +SASHA. [Embarrassed] How do you do? + +BORKIN. You are plumper and prettier than ever. + +SASHA. [To IVANOFF] I must go, Nicholas, I must go. [She goes +out.] + +BORKIN. What a beautiful apparition! I came expecting prose and +found poetry instead. [Sings] + +"You showed yourself to the world as a bird---" + +IVANOFF walks excitedly up and down. + +BORKIN. [Sits down] There is something in her, Nicholas, that one +doesn't find in other women, isn't there? An elfin strangeness. +[He sighs] Although she is without doubt the richest girl in the +country, her mother is so stingy that no one will have her. After +her mother's death Sasha will have the whole fortune, but until +then she will only give her ten thousand roubles and an old +flat-iron, and to get that she will have to humble herself to the +ground. [He feels in his pockets] Will you have a smoke? [He +offers IVANOFF his cigarette case] These are very good. + +IVANOFF. [Comes toward BORKIN stifled with rage] Leave my house +this instant, and don't you ever dare to set foot in it again! Go +this instant! + +BORKIN gets up and drops his cigarette. + +IVANOFF. Go at once! + +BORKIN. Nicholas, what do you mean? Why are you so angry? + +IVANOFF. Why! Where did you get those cigarettes? Where? You +think perhaps that I don't know where you take the old man every +day, and for what purpose? + +BORKIN. [Shrugs his shoulders] What business is it of yours? + +IVANOFF. You blackguard, you! The disgraceful rumours that you +have been spreading about me have made me disreputable in the +eyes of the whole countryside. You and I have nothing in common, +and I ask you to leave my house this instant. + +BORKIN. I know that you are saying all this in a moment of +irritation, and so I am not angry with you. Insult me as much as +you please. [He picks up his cigarette] It is time though, to +shake off this melancholy of yours; you're not a schoolboy. + +IVANOFF. What did I tell you? [Shuddering] Are you making fun of +me? + +Enter ANNA. + +BORKIN. There now, there comes Anna! I shall go. + +IVANOFF stops near the table and stands with his head bowed. + +ANNA. [After a pause] What did she come here for? What did she +come here for, I ask you? + +IVANOFF. Don't ask me, Annie. [A pause] I am terribly guilty. +Think of any punishment you want to inflict on me; I can stand +anything, but don't, oh, don't ask questions! + +ANNA. [Angrily] So that is the sort of man you are? Now I +understand you, and can see how degraded, how dishonourable you +are! Do you remember that you came to me once and lied to me +about your love? I believed you, and left my mother, my father, +and my faith to follow you. Yes, you lied to me of goodness and +honour, of your noble aspirations and I believed every word--- + +IVANOFF. I have never lied to you, Annie. + +ANNA. I have lived with you five years now, and I am tired and +ill, but I have always loved you and have never left you for a +moment. You have been my idol, and what have you done? All this +time you have been deceiving me in the most dastardly way--- + +IVANOFF. Annie, don't say what isn't so. I have made mistakes, +but I have never told a lie in my life. You dare not accuse me of +that! + +ANNA. It is all clear to me now. You married me because you +expected my mother and father to forgive me and give you my +money; that is what you expected. + +IVANOFF. Good Lord, Annie! If I must suffer like this, I must +have the patience to bear it. [He begins to weep.] + +ANNA. Be quiet! When you found that I wasn't bringing you any +money, you tried another game. Now I remember and understand +everything. [She begins to cry] You have never loved me or been +faithful to me--never! + +IVANOFF. Sarah! That is a lie! Say what you want, but don't +insult me with a lie! + +ANNA. You dishonest, degraded man! You owe money to Lebedieff, +and now, to escape paying your debts, you are trying to turn the +head of his daughter and betray her as you have betrayed me. Can +you deny it? + +IVANOFF. [Stifled with rage] For heaven's sake, be quiet! I can't +answer for what I may do! I am choking with rage and I--I might +insult you! + +ANNA. I am not the only one whom you have basely deceived. You +have always blamed Borkin for all your dishonest tricks, but now +I know whose they are. + +IVANOFF. Sarah, stop at once and go away, or else I shall say +something terrible. I long to say a dreadful, cruel thing [He +shrieks] Hold your tongue, Jewess! + +ANNA. I won't hold my tongue! You have deceived me too long for +me to be silent now. + +IVANOFF. So you won't be quiet? [He struggles with himself] Go, +for heaven's sake! + +ANNA. Go now, and betray Sasha! + +IVANOFF. Know then that you--are dying! The doctor told me that +you are dying. + +ANNA. [Sits down and speaks in a low voice] When did he + +IVANOFF. [Clutches his head with both hands] Oh, how guilty I +am--how guilty! [He sobs.] + +The curtain falls. + +About a year passes between the third and fourth acts. + +ACT IV + +A sitting-room in LEBEDIEFF'S house. In the middle of the wall at +the back of the room is an arch dividing the sitting-room from +the ballroom. To the right and left are doors. Some old bronzes +are placed about the room; family portraits are hanging on the +walls. Everything is arranged as if for some festivity. On the +piano lies a violin; near it stands a violoncello. During the +entire act guests, dressed as for a ball, are seen walking about +in the ball-room. + +Enter LVOFF, looking at his watch. + +LVOFF. It is five o'clock. The ceremony must have begun. First +the priest will bless them, and then they will be led to the +church to be married. Is this how virtue and justice triumph? Not +being able to rob Sarah, he has tortured her to death; and now he +has found another victim whom he will deceive until he has robbed +her, and then he will get rid of her as he got rid of poor Sarah. +It is the same old sordid story. [A pause] He will live to a fine +old age in the seventh heaven of happiness, and will die with a +clear conscience. No, Ivanoff, it shall not be! I shall drag your +villainy to light! And when I tear off that accursed mask of +yours and show you to the world as the blackguard you are, you +shall come plunging down headfirst from your seventh heaven, into +a pit so deep that the devil himself will not be able to drag you +out of it! I am a man of honour; it is my duty to interfere in +such cases as yours, and to open the eyes of the blind. I shall +fulfil my mission, and to-morrow will find me far away from this +accursed place. [Thoughtfully] But what shall I do? To have an +explanation with Lebedieff would be a hopeless task. Shall I make +a scandal, and challenge Ivanoff to a duel? I am as excited as a +child, and have entirely lost th e power of planning anything. +What shall I do? Shall I fight a duel? + +Enter KOSICH. He goes gaily up to LVOFF. + +KOSICH. I declared a little slam in clubs yesterday, and made a +grand slam! Only that man Barabanoff spoilt the whole game for me +again. We were playing--well, I said "No trumps" and he said +"Pass." "Two in clubs," he passed again. I made it two in hearts. +He said "Three in clubs," and just imagine, can you, what +happened? I declared a little slam and he never showed his ace! +If he had showed his ace, the villain, I should have declared a +grand slam in no trumps! + +LVOFF. Excuse me, I don't play cards, and so it is impossible for +me to share your enthusiasm. When does the ceremony begin? + +KOSICH. At once, I think. They are now bringing Zuzu to herself +again. She is bellowing like a bull; she can't bear to see the +money go. + +LVOFF. And what about the daughter? + +KOSICH. No, it is the money. She doesn't like this affair anyway. +He is marrying her daughter, and that means he won't pay his +debts for a long time. One can't sue one's son-in-law. + +MARTHA, very much dressed up, struts across the stage past LVOFF +and KOSICH. The latter bursts out laughing behind his hand. +MARTHA looks around. + +MARTHA. Idiot! + +KOSICH digs her in the ribs and laughs loudly. + +MARTHA. Boor! + +KOSICH. [Laughing] The woman's head has been turned. Before she +fixed her eye on a title she was like any other woman, but there +is no coming near her now! [Angrily] A boor, indeed! + +LVOFF. [Excitedly] Listen to me; tell me honestly, what do you +think of Ivanoff? + +KOSICH. He's no good at all. He plays cards like a lunatic. This +is what happened last year during Lent: I, the Count, Borkin and +he, sat down to a game of cards. I led a--- + +LVOFF [Interrupting him] Is he a good man? + +KOSICH. He? Yes, he's a good one! He and the Count are a pair of +trumps. They have keen noses for a good game. First, Ivanoff set +his heart on the Jewess, then, when his schemes failed in that +quarter, he turned his thoughts toward Zuzu's money-bags. I'll +wager you he'll ruin Zuzu in a year. He will ruin Zuzu, and the +Count will ruin Martha. They will gather up all the money they +can lay hands on, and live happily ever after! But, doctor, why +are you so pale to-day? You look like a ghost. + +LVOFF. Oh, it's nothing. I drank a little too much yesterday. + +Enter LEBEDIEFF with SASHA. + +LEBEDIEFF. We can have our talk here. [To LVOFF and KOSICH] Go +into the ball-room, you two old fogies, and talk to the girls. +Sasha and I want to talk alone here. + +KOSICH. [Snapping his fingers enthusiastically as he goes by +SASHA] What a picture! A queen of trumps! + +LEBEDIEFF. Go along, you old cave-dweller; go along. + +KOSICH and LVOFF go out. + +LEBEDIEFF. Sit down, Sasha, there-- [He sits down and looks about +him] Listen to me attentively and with proper respect. The fact +is, your mother has asked me to say this, do you understand? I am +not speaking for myself. Your mother told me to speak to you. + +SASHA. Papa, do say it briefly! + +LEBEDIEFF. When you are married we mean to give you fifteen +thousand roubles. Please don't let us have any discussion about +it afterward. Wait, now! Be quiet! That is only the beginning. +The best is yet to come. We have allotted you fifteen thousand +roubles, but in consideration of the fact that Nicholas owes your +mother nine thousand, that sum will have to be deducted from the +amount we mean to give you. Very well. Now, beside that--- + +SASHA. Why do you tell me all this? + +LEBEDIEFF. Your mother told me to. + +SASHA. Leave me in peace! If you had any respect for yourself or +me you could not permit yourself to speak to me in this way. I +don't want your money! I have not asked for it, and never shall. + +LEBEDIEFF. What are you attacking me for? The two rats in Gogol's +fable sniffed first and then ran away, but you attack without +even sniffing. + +SASHA. Leave me in peace, and do not offend my ears with your +two-penny calculations. + +LEBEDIEFF. [Losing his temper] Bah! You all, every one of you, do +all you can to make me cut my throat or kill somebody. One of you +screeches and fusses all day and counts every penny, and the +other is so clever and humane and emancipated that she cannot +understand her own father! I offend your ears, do I? Don't you +realise that before I came here to offend your ears I was being +torn to pieces over there, [He points to the door] literally +drawn and quartered? So you cannot understand? You two have +addled my brain till I am utterly at my wits' end; indeed I am! +[He goes toward the door, and stops] I don't like this business +at all; I don't like any thing about you-- + +SASHA. What is it, especially, that you don't like? + +LEBEDIEFF. Everything, everything! + +SASHA. What do you mean by everything? + +LEBEDIEFF. Let me explain exactly what I mean. Everything +displeases me. As for your marriage, I simply can't abide it. [He +goes up to SASHA and speaks caressingly] Forgive me, little +Sasha, this marriage may be a wise one; it may be honest and not +misguided, nevertheless, there is something about the whole +affair that is not right; no, not right! You are not marrying as +other girls do; you are young and fresh and pure as a drop of +water, and he is a widower, battered and worn. Heaven help him. I +don't understand him at all. [He kisses his daughter] Forgive me +for saying so, Sasha, but I am sure there is something crooked +about this affair; it is making a great deal of talk. It seems +people are saying that first Sarah died, and then suddenly +Ivanoff wanted to marry you. [Quickly] But, no, I am like an old +woman; I am gossiping like a magpie. You must not listen to me or +any one, only to your own heart. + +SASHA. Papa, I feel myself that there is something wrong about my +marriage. Something wrong, yes, wrong! Oh, if you only knew how +heavy my heart is; this is unbearable! I am frightened and +ashamed to confess this; Papa darling, you must help me, for +heaven's sake. Oh, can't you tell me what I should do? + +LEBEDIEFF. What is the matter, Sasha, what is it? + +SASHA. I am so frightened, more frightened than I have ever been +before. [She glances around her] I cannot understand him now, and +I never shall. He has not smiled or looked straight into my eyes +once since we have been engaged. He is forever complaining and +apologising for something; hinting at some crime he is guilty of, +and trembling. I am so tired! There are even moments when I +think--I think--that I do not love him as I should, and when he +comes to see us, or talks to me, I get so tired! What does it +mean, dear father? I am afraid. + +LEBEDIEFF. My darling, my only child, do as your old father +advises you; give him up! + +SASHA. [Frightened] Oh! How can you say that? + +LEBEDIEFF. Yes, do it, little Sasha! It will make a scandal, all +the tongues in the country will be wagging about it, but it is +better to live down a scandal than to ruin one's life. + +SASHA. Don't say that, father. Oh, don't. I refuse to listen! I +must crush such gloomy thoughts. He is good and unhappy and +misunderstood. I shall love him and learn to understand him. I +shall set him on his feet again. I shall do my duty. That is +settled. + +LEBEDIEFF. This is not your duty, but a delusion-- + +SASHA. We have said enough. I have confessed things to you that I +have not dared to admit even to myself. Don't speak about this to +any one. Let us forget it. + +LEBEDIEFF. I am hopelessly puzzled, and either my mind is going +from old age or else you have all grown very clever, but I'll be +hanged if I understand this business at all. + +Enter SHABELSKI. + +SHABELSKI. Confound you all and myself, too! This is maddening! + +LEBEDIEFF. What do you want? + +SHABELSKI Seriously, I must really do something horrid and +rascally, so that not only I but everybody else will be disgusted +by it. I certainly shall find something to do, upon my word I +shall! I have already told Borkin to announce that I am to be +married. [He laughs] Everybody is a scoundrel and I must be one +too! + +LEBEDIEFF. I am tired of you, Matthew. Look here, man you talk in +such a way that, excuse my saying so, you will soon find yourself +in a lunatic asylum! + +SHABELSKI. Could a lunatic asylum possibly be worse than this +house, or any othe r? Kindly take me there at once. Please do! +Everybody is wicked and futile and worthless and stupid; I am an +object of disgust to myself, I don't believe a word I say---- + +LEBEDIEFF. Let me give you a piece of advice, old man; fill your +mouth full of tow, light it, and blow at everybody. Or, better +still, take your hat and go home. This is a wedding, we all want +to enjoy ourselves and you are croaking like a raven. Yes, +really. + +SHABELSKI leans on the piano and begins to sob. + +LEBEDIEFF. Good gracious, Matthew, Count! What is it, dear +Matthew, old friend? Have I offended you? There, forgive me; I +didn't mean to hurt you. Come, drink some water. + +SHABELSKI. I don't want any water. [Raises his head.] + +LEBEDIEFF. What are you crying about? + +SHABELSKI. Nothing in particular; I was just crying. + +LEBEDIEFF. Matthew, tell me the truth, what is it? What has +happened? + +SHABELSKI. I caught sight of that violoncello, and--and--I +remembered the Jewess. + +LEBEDIEFF. What an unfortunate moment you have chosen to remember +her. Peace be with her! But don't think of her now. + +SHABELSKI. We used to play duets together. She was a beautiful, a +glorious woman. + +SASHA sobs. + +LEBEDIEFF. What, are you crying too? Stop, Sasha! Dear me, they +are both howling now, and I--and I-- Do go away; the guests will +see you! + +SHABELSKI. Paul, when the sun is shining, it is gay even in a +cemetery. One can be cheerful even in old age if it is lighted by +hope; but I have nothing to hope for--not a thing! + +LEBEDIEFF. Yes, it is rather sad for you. You have no children, +no money, no occupation. Well, but what is there to be done about +it? [To SASHA] What is the matter with you, Sasha? + +SHABELSKI. Paul, give me some money. I will repay you in the next +world. I would go to Paris and see my wife's grave. I have given +away a great deal of money in my life, half my fortune indeed, +and I have a right to ask for some now. Besides, I am asking a +friend + +LEBEDIEFF. [Embarrassed] My dear boy, I haven't a penny. All +right though. That is to say, I can't promise anything, but you +understand--very well, very well. [Aside] This is agony! + +Enter MARTHA. + +MARTHA. Where is my partner? Count, how dare you leave me alone? +You are horrid! [She taps SHABELSKI on the arm with her fan] + +SHABELSKI. [Impatiently] Leave me alone! I can't abide you! + +MARTHA. [Frightened] How? What? + +SHABELSKI. Go away! + +MARTHA. [Sinks into an arm-chair] Oh! Oh! Oh! [She bursts into +tears.] + +Enter ZINAIDA crying. + +ZINAIDA. Some one has just arrived; it must be one of the ushers. +It is time for the ceremony to begin. + +SASHA. [Imploringly] Mother! + +LEBEDIEFF. Well, now you are all bawling. What a quartette! Come, +come, don't let us have any more of this dampness! Matthew! +Martha! If you go on like this, I--I--shall cry too. [Bursts into +tears] Heavens! + +ZINAIDA. If you don't need your mother any more, if you are +determined not to obey her, I shall have to do as you want, and +you have my blessing. + +Enter IVANOFF, dressed in a long coat, with gloves on. + +LEBEDIEFF This is the finishing touch! What do you want? + +SHABELSKI. Why are you here? + +IVANOFF. I beg your pardon, you must allow me to speak to Sasha +alone. + +LEBEDIEFF. The bridegroom must not come to see the bride before +the wedding. It is time for you to go to the church. + +IVANOFF. Paul, I implore you. + +LEBEDIEFF shrugs his shoulders. LEBEDIEFF, ZINAIDA, SHABELSKI, +and MARTHA go out. + +SASHA. [Sternly] What do you want? + +IVANOFF. I am choking with anger; I cannot speak calmly. Listen +to me; as I was dressing just now for the wedding, I looked in +the glass and saw how grey my temples were. Sasha, this must not +be! Let us end this senseless comedy before it is too late. You +are young and pure; you have all your life before you, but I--- + +SASHA. The same old story; I have heard it a thousand times and I +am tired of it. Go quickly to the church and don't keep everybody +waiting! + +IVANOFF. I shall go straight home, and you must explain to your +family somehow that there is to be no wedding. Explain it as you +please. It is time we came to our senses. I have been playing the +part of Hamlet and you have been playing the part of a noble and +devoted girl. We have kept up the farce long enough. + +SASHA. [Losing her temper] How can you speak to me like this? I +won't have it. + +IVANOFF. But I am speaking, and will continue to speak. + +SASHA. What do you mean by coming to me like this? Your +melancholy has become absolutely ridiculous! + +IVANOFF. No, this is not melancholy. It is ridiculous, is it? +Yes, I am laughing, and if it were possible for me to laugh at +myself a thousand times more bitterly I should do so and set the +whole world laughing, too, in derision. A fierce light has +suddenly broken over my soul; as I looked into the glass just +now, I laughed at myself, and nearly went mad with shame. [He +laughs] Melancholy indeed! Noble grief! Uncontrollable sorrow! It +only remains for me now to begin to write verses! Shall I mope +and complain, sadden everybody I meet, confess that my manhood +has gone forever, that I have decayed, outlived my purpose, that +I have given myself up to cowardice and am bound hand and foot by +this loathsome melancholy? Shall I confess all this when the sun +is shining so brightly and when even the ants are carrying their +little burdens in peaceful self-content? No, thanks. Can I endure +the knowledge that one will look upon me as a fraud, while +another pities me, a third lends me a helping hand, or worst of +all, a fourth listens reverently to my sighs, looks upon me as a +new Mahomet, and expects me to expound a new religion every +moment? No, thank God for the pride and conscience he has left me +still. On my way here I laughed at myself, and it seemed to me +that the flowers and birds were laughing mockingly too. + +SASHA. This is not anger, but madness! + +IVANOFF. You think so, do you? No, I am not mad. I see things in +their right light now, and my mind is as clear as your +conscience. We love each other, but we shall never be married. It +makes no difference how I rave and grow bitter by myself, but I +have no right to drag another down with me. My melancholy robbed +my wife of the last year of her life. Since you have been engaged +to me you have forgotten how to laugh and have aged five years. +Your father, to whom life was always simple and clear, thanks to +me, is now unable to understand anybody. Wherever I go, whether +hunting or visiting, it makes no difference, I carry depression, +dulness, and discontent along with me. Wait! Don't interrupt me! +I am bitter and harsh, I know, but I am stifled with rage. I +cannot speak otherwise. I have never lied, and I never used to +find fault with my lot, but since I have begun to complain of +everything, I find fault with it involuntarily, and against my +will. When I murmur at my fate every one who hears me is seized +with the same disgust of life and begins to grumble too. And what +a strange way I have of looking at things! Exactly as if I were +doing the world a favour by living in it. Oh, I am contemptible. + +SASHA. Wait a moment. From what you have just said, it is obvious +that you are tired of your melancholy mood, and that the time has +come for you to begin life afresh. How splendid! + +IVANOFF. I don't see anything splendid about it. How can I lead a +new life? I am lost forever. It is time we both understood that. +A new life indeed! + +SASHA. Nicholas, come to your senses. How can you say you are +lost? What do you mean by such cynicism? No, I won't listen to +you or talk with you. Go to the church! + +IVANOFF. I am lost! + +SASHA. Don't talk so loud; our guests will hear you! + +IVANOFF. If an intelligent, educated, and healthy man begins to +complain of his lot and go down-hill, there is nothing for him to +do but to go on down until he reaches the bottom--there is no +hope for him. Where could my salvation come from? How can I save +myself? I cannot drink, because it makes my head ache. I never +could write bad poetry. I cannot pray for strength and see +anything lofty in the languor of my soul. Laziness is laziness +and weakness weakness. I can find no other names for them. I am +lost, I am lost; there is no doubt of that. [Looking around] Some +one might come in; listen, Sasha, if you love me you must help +me. Renounce me this minute; quickly! + +SASHA. Oh, Nicholas! If you only knew how you are torturing me; +what agony I have to endure for your sake! Good thoughtful +friend, judge for yourself; can I possibly solve such a problem? +Each day you put some horrible problem before me, each one more +difficult than the last. I wanted to help you with my love, but +this is martyrdom! + +IVANOFF. And when you are my wife the problems will be harder +than ever. Understand this: it is not love that is urging you to +take this step, but the obstinacy of an honest nature. You have +undertaken to reawaken the man in me and to save me in the face +of every difficulty, and you are flattered by the hope of +achieving your object. You are willing to give up now, but you +are prevented from doing it by a feeling that is a false one. +Understand yourself! + +SASHA. What strange, wild reasoning! How can I give you up now? +How can I? You have no mother, or sister, or friends. You are +ruined; your estate has been destroyed; every one is speaking ill +of you-- + +IVANOFF. It was foolish of me to come here; I should have done as +I wanted to-- + +Enter LEBEDIEFF. + +SASHA. [Running to her father] Father! He has rushed over here +like a madman, and is torturing me! He insists that I should +refuse to marry him; he says he doesn't want to drag me down with +him. Tell him that I won't accept his generosity. I know what I +am doing! + +LEBEDIEFF. I can't understand a word of what you are saying. What +generosity? + +IVANOFF. This marriage is not going to take place. + +SASHA. It is going to take place. Papa, tell him that it is going +to take place. + +LEBEDIEFF. Wait! Wait! What objection have you to the marriage? + +IVANOFF. I have explained it all to her, but she refuses to +understand me. + +LEBEDIEFF. Don't explain it to her, but to me, and explain it so +that I may understand. God forgive you, Nicholas, you have +brought a great deal of darkness into our lives. I feel as if I +were living in a museum; I look about me and don't understand +anything I see. This is torture. What on earth can an old man +like me do with you? Shall I challenge you to a duel? + +IVANOFF. There is no need of a duel. All you need is a head on +your shoulders and a knowledge of the Russian language. + +SASHA. [Walks up and down in great excitement] This is dreadful, +dreadful! Absolutely childish. + +LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas; from your point of view what +you are doing is quite right and proper, according to the rules +of psychology, but I think this affair is a scandal and a great +misfortune. I am an old man; hear me out for the last time. This +is what I want to say to you: calm yourself; look at things +simply, as every one else does; this is a simple world. The +ceiling is white; your boots are black; sugar is sweet. You love +Sasha and she loves you. If you love her, stay with her; if you +don't, leave her. We shan't blame you. It is all perfectly +simple. You are two healthy, intelligent, moral young people; +thank God, you both have food and clothing--what more do you +want? What if you have no money? That is no great +misfortune--happiness is not bought with wealth. Of course your +estate is mortgaged, Nicholas, as I know, and you have no money +to pay the interest on the debt, but I am Sasha's father. I +understand. Her mother can do as she likes--if she won't give any +money, why, confound her, then she needn't, that's all! Sasha has +just said that she does not want her part of it. As for your +principles, Schopenhauer and all that, it is all folly. I have +one hundred thousand roubles in the bank. [Looking around him] +Not a soul in the house knows it; it was my grandmother's money. +That shall be for you both. Take it, give Matthew two thousand-- + +[The guests begin to collect in the ball-room]. + +IVANOFF. It is no use discussing it any more, I must act as my +conscience bids me. + +SASHA. And I shall act as my conscience bids me--you may say what +you please; I refuse to let you go! I am going to call my mother. + +LEBEDIEFF. I am utterly puzzled. + +IVANOFF. Listen to me, poor old friend. I shall not try to +explain myself to you. I shall not tell you whether I am honest +or a rascal, healthy or mad; you wouldn't understand me. I was +young once; I have been eager and sincere and intelligent. I have +loved and hated and believed as no one else has. I have worked +and hoped and tilted against windmills with the strength of +ten--not sparing my strength, not knowing what life was. I +shouldered a load that broke my back. I drank, I worked, I +excited myself, my energy knew no bounds. Tell me, could I have +done otherwise? There are so few of us and so much to do, so much +to do! And see how cruelly fate has revenged herself on me, who +fought with her so bravely! I am a broken man. I am old at +thirty. I have submitted myself to old age. With a heavy head and +a sluggish mind, weary, used up, discouraged, without faith or +love or an object in life, I wander like a shadow among other +men, not knowing why I am alive or what it is that I want. Love +seems to me to be folly, caresses false. I see no sense in +working or playing, and all passionate speeches seem insipid and +tiresome. So I carry my sadness with me wherever I go; a cold +weariness, a discontent, a horror of life. Yes, I am lost for +ever and ever. Before you stands a man who at thirty-five is +disillusioned, wearied by fruitless efforts, burning with shame, +and mocking at his own weakness. Oh, how my pride rebels against +it all! What mad fury chokes me! [He staggers] I am +staggering--my strength is failing me. Where is Matthew? Let him +take me home. + +[Voices from the ball-room] The best man has arrived! + +Enter SHABELSKI. + +SHABELSKI. In an old worn-out coat--without gloves! How many +scornful glances I get for it! Such silly jokes and vulgar grins! +Disgusting people. + +Enter BORKIN quickly. He is carrying a bunch of flowers and is in +a dress-coat. He wears a flower in his buttonhole. + +BORKIN. This is dreadful! Where is he? [To IVANOFF] They have +been waiting for you for a long time in the church, and here you +are talking philosophy! What a funny chap you are. Don't you know +you must not go to church with the bride, but alone, with me? I +shall then come back for her. Is it possible you have not +understood that? You certainly are an extraordinary man! + +Enter LVOFF. + +LVOFF. [To IVANOFF] Ah! So you are here? [Loudly] Nicholas +Ivanoff, I denounce you to the world as a scoundrel! + +IVANOFF. [Coldly] Many thanks! + +BORKIN. [To LVOFF] Sir, this is dastardly! I challenge you to a +duel! + +LVOFF. Monsieur Borkin, I count it a disgrace not only to fight +with you, but even to talk to you! Monsieur Ivanoff, however, can +receive satisfaction from me whenever he chooses! + +SHABELSKI. Sir, I shall fight you! + +SASHA. [To LVOFF] Why, oh why, have you insulted him? Gentlemen, +I beg you, let him tell me why he has insulted him. + +LVOFF. Miss Sasha, I have not insulted him without cause. I came +here as a man of honour, to open your eyes, and I beg you to +listen to what I have to tell you. + +SASHA. What can you possibly have to tell me? That you are a man +of honour? The whole world knows it. You had better tell me on +your honour whether you understand what you have done or not. You +have come in here as a man of honour and have insulted him so +terribly that you have nearly killed me. When you used to follow +him like a shadow and almost keep him from living, you were +convinced that you were doing your duty and that you were acting +like a man of honour. When you interfered in his private affairs, +maligned him and criticised him; when you sent me and whomever +else you could, anonymous letters, you imagined yourself to be an +honourable man! And, thinking that that too was honourable, you, +a doctor, did not even spare his dying wife or give her a +moment's peace from your suspicions. And no matter what violence, +what cruel wrong you committed, you still imagined yourself to be +an unusually honourable and clear-sighted man. + +IVANOFF. [Laughing] This is not a wedding, but a parliament! +Bravo! Bravo! + +SASHA. [To LVOFF] Now, think it over! Do you see what sort of a +man you are, or not? Oh, + the stupid, heartless people! [Takes IVANOFF by the hand] Come +away from here Nicholas! Come, father, let us go! + +IVANOFF. Where shall we go? Wait a moment. I shall soon put an +end to the whole thing. My youth is awake in me again; the former +Ivanoff is here once more. + +[He takes out a revolver.] + +SASHA. [Shrieking] I know what he wants to do! Nicholas, for +God's sake! + +IVANOFF. I have been slipping down-hill long enough. Now, halt! +It is time to know what honour is. Out of the way! Thank you, +Sasha! + +SASHA. [Shrieking] Nicholas! For God's sake hold him! + +IVANOFF. Let go! [He rushes aside, and shoots himself.] + +The curtain falls. + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of Ivanoff, by Anton Checkov + diff --git a/old/vanof10.zip b/old/vanof10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ecfc909 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/vanof10.zip diff --git a/old/vanof10h.htm b/old/vanof10h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ea3a050 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/vanof10h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2722 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<title>New File</title> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> +<style type="text/css"> +<!-- +body {margin:10%; text-align:justify} +blockquote {font-size:14pt} +P {font-size:14pt} +--> +</style> +</head> +<body> + + + +<H1>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Ivanoff, +<br>by Anton Chekhov</H1> + +<PRE> +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Ivanoff + +Author: Anton Chekhov + +Release Date: May, 1999 [EBook #1755] +[Most recently updated: February 17, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, IVANOFF *** + + + + +</PRE> +Ivanoff +<p>by Anton Checkov</p> +<p> </p> + +<p> + IVANOFF</p> +<p>A PLAY</p> +<p> </p> +<h3 align="center">CHARACTERS</h3> +<p> </p> +<p>NICHOLAS IVANOFF, perpetual member of the Council of Peasant + Affairs</p> +<p>ANNA, his wife. Nee Sarah Abramson</p> +<p>MATTHEW SHABELSKI, a count, uncle of Ivanoff</p> +<p>PAUL LEBEDIEFF, President of the Board of the Zemstvo</p> +<p>ZINAIDA, his wife</p> +<p>SASHA, their daughter, twenty years old</p> +<p>LVOFF, a young government doctor</p> +<p>MARTHA BABAKINA, a young widow, owner of an estate and daughter + of a rich merchant</p> +<p>KOSICH, an exciseman</p> +<p>MICHAEL BORKIN, a distant relative of Ivanoff, and manager of his + estate</p> +<p>AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, an old woman</p> +<p>GEORGE, lives with the Lebedieffs</p> +<p>FIRST GUEST</p> +<p>SECOND GUEST</p> +<p>THIRD GUEST</p> +<p>FOURTH GUEST</p> +<p>PETER, a servant of Ivanoff</p> +<p>GABRIEL, a servant of Lebedieff</p> +<p>GUESTS OF BOTH SEXES</p> +<p>The play takes place in one of the provinces of central Russia</p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h2 align="center">IVANOFF</h2> +<h3 align="center">ACT I</h3> +<p> </p> +<p>The garden of IVANOFF'S country place. On the left is a terrace + and the facade of the house. One window is open. Below the + terrace is a broad semicircular lawn, from which paths lead to + right and left into a garden. On the right are several garden + benches and tables. A lamp is burning on one of the tables. It is + evening. As the curtain rises sounds of the piano and violoncello + are heard.</p> +<p>IVANOFF is sitting at a table reading.</p> +<p>BORKIN, in top-boots and carrying a gun, comes in from the rear of the garden. + He is a little tipsy. As he sees IVANOFF he comes toward him on tiptoe, and + when he comes opposite him he stops and points the gun at his face.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Catches sight of BORKIN. Shudders and jumps to his + feet] Misha! What are you doing? You frightened me! I can't stand + your stupid jokes when I am so nervous as this. And having + frightened me, you laugh! [He sits down.]</p> +<p>BORKIN. [Laughing loudly] There, I am sorry, really. I won't do + it again. Indeed I won't. [Take off his cap] How hot it is! Just + think, my dear boy, I have covered twelve miles in the last three + hours. I am worn out. Just feel how my heart is beating.</p> +<p> + IVANOFF. [Goes on reading] Oh, very well. I shall feel it later!</p> +<p>BORKIN. No, feel it now. [He takes IVANOFF'S hand and presses it + against his breast] Can you feel it thumping? That means that it + is weak and that I may die suddenly at any moment. Would you be + sorry if I died?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I am reading now. I shall attend to you later.</p> +<p>BORKIN. No, seriously, would you be sorry if I died? Nicholas, + would you be sorry if I died?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Leave me alone!</p> +<p>BORKIN. Come, tell me if you would be sorry or not.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I am sorry that you smell so of vodka, Misha, it is + disgusting.</p> +<p>BORKIN. Do I smell of vodka? How strange! And yet, it is not so + strange after all. I met the magistrate on the road, and I must + admit that we did drink about eight glasses together. Strictly + speaking, of course, drinking is very harmful. Listen, it is + harmful, isn't it? Is it? Is it?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. This is unendurable! Let me warn you, Misha, that you + are going too far.</p> +<p>BORKIN. Well, well, excuse me. Sit here by yourself then, for + heaven's sake, if it amuses you. [Gets up and goes away] What + extraordinary people one meets in the world. They won't even + allow themselves to be spoken to. [He comes back] Oh, yes, I + nearly forgot. Please let me have eighty-two roubles.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Why do you want eighty-two roubles?</p> +<p>BORKIN. To pay the workmen to-morrow.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I haven't the money.</p> +<p>BORKIN. Many thanks. [Angrily] So you haven't the money! And yet + the workmen must be paid, mustn't they?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I don't know. Wait till my salary comes in on the first + of the month.</p> +<p>BORKIN. How is it possible to discuss anything with a man like + you? Can't you understand that the workmen are coming to-morrow + morning and not on the first of the month?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. How can I help it? I'll be hanged if I can do anything + about it now. And what do you mean by this irritating way you + have of pestering me whenever I am trying to read or write or---</p> +<p>BORKIN. Must the workmen be paid or not, I ask you? But, good + gracious! What is the use of talking to you! [Waves his hand] Do + you think because you own an estate you can command the whole + world? With your two thousand acres and your empty pockets you + are like a man who has a cellar full of wine and no corkscrew. I + have sold the oats as they stand in the field. Yes, sir! And + to-morrow I shall sell the rye and the carriage horses. [He + stamps up and down] Do you think I am going to stand upon + ceremony with you? Certainly not! I am not that kind of a man!</p> +<p>ANNA appears at the open window.</p> +<p>ANNA. Whose voice did I hear just now? Was it yours, Misha? Why + are you stamping up and down?</p> +<p>BORKIN. Anybody who had anything to do with your Nicholas would + stamp up and down.</p> +<p>ANNA. Listen, Misha! Please have some hay carried onto the + croquet lawn.</p> +<p>BORKIN. [Waves his hand] Leave me alone, please!</p> +<p>ANNA. Oh, what manners! They are not becoming to you at all. If + you want to be liked by women you must never let them see you + when you are angry or obstinate. [To her husband] Nicholas, let + us go and play on the lawn in the hay!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Don't you know it is bad for you to stand at the open + window, Annie? [Calls] Shut the window, Uncle!</p> +<p>[The window is shut from the inside.]</p> +<p>BORKIN. Don't forget that the interest on the money you owe + Lebedieff must be paid in two days.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I haven't forgotten it. I am going over to see Lebedieff + today and shall ask him to wait</p> +<p>[He looks at his watch.]</p> +<p>BORKIN. When are you going?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. At once.</p> +<p>BORKIN. Wait! Wait! Isn't this Sasha's birthday? So it is! The + idea of my forgetting it. What a memory I have. [Jumps about] I + shall go with you! [Sings] I shall go, I shall go! Nicholas, old + man, you are the joy of my life. If you were not always so + nervous and cross and gloomy, you and I could do great things + together. I would do anything for you. Shall I marry Martha + Babakina and give you half her fortune? That is, not half, + either, but all--take it all!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Enough of this nonsense!</p> +<p>BORKIN. No, seriously, shan't I marry Martha and halve the money + with you? But no, why should I propose it? How can you + understand? [Angrily] You say to me: "Stop talking nonsense!" You + are a good man and a clever one, but you haven't any red blood in + your veins or any--well, enthusiasm. Why, if you wanted to, you + and I could cut a dash together that would shame the devil + himself. If you were a normal man instead of a morbid + hypochondriac we would have a million in a year. For instance, if + I had twenty-three hundred roubles now I could make twenty + thousand in two weeks. You don't believe me? You think it is all + nonsense? No, it isn't nonsense. Give me twenty-three hundred + roubles and let me try. Ofsianoff is selling a strip of land + across the river for that price. If we buy this, both banks will + be ours, and we shall have the right to build a dam across the + river. Isn't that so? We can say that we intend to build a mill, + and when the people on the river below us hear that we mean to + dam the river they will, of course, object violently and we shall + say: If you don't want a dam here you will have to pay to get us + away. Do you see the result? The factory would give us five + thousand roubles, Korolkoff three thousand, the monastery five + thousand more--</p> +<p>IVANOFF. All that is simply idiotic, Misha. If you don't want me + to lose my temper you must keep your schemes to yourself.</p> +<p>BORKIN. [Sits down at the table] Of course! I knew how it would + be! You never will act for yourself, and you tie my hands so that + I am helpless.</p> +<p>Enter SHABELSKI and LVOFF.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. The only difference between lawyers and doctors is that lawyers + simply rob you, whereas doctors both rob you and kill you. I am not referring + to any one present. [Sits down on the bench] They are all frauds and swindlers. + Perhaps in Arcadia you might find an exception to the general rule and yet--I + have treated thousands of sick people myself in my life, and I have never met + a doctor who did not seem to me to be an unmistakable scoundrel. </p> +<p>BORKIN. [To IVANOFF] Yes, you tie my hands and never do anything + for yourself, and that is why you have no money.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. As I said before, I am not referring to any one here + at present; there may be exceptions though, after all-- [He + yawns.]</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Shuts his book] What have you to tell me, doctor?</p> +<p>LVOFF. [Looks toward the window] Exactly what I said this + morning: she must go to the Crimea at once. [Walks up and down.]</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Bursts out laughing] To the Crimea! Why don't you and + I set up as doctors, Misha? Then, if some Madame Angot or Ophelia + finds the world tiresome and begins to cough and be consumptive, + all we shall have to do will be to write out a prescription + according to the laws of medicine: that is, first, we shall order + her a young doctor, and then a journey to the Crimea. There some + fascinating young Tartar---</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Interrupting] Oh, don't be coarse! [To LVOFF] It takes + money to go to the Crimea, and even if I could afford it, you + know she has refused to go.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Yes, she has. [A pause.]</p> +<p>BORKIN. Look here, doctor, is Anna really so ill that she + absolutely must go to the Crimea?</p> +<p>LVOFF. [Looking toward the window] Yes, she has consumption.</p> +<p>BORKIN. Whew! How sad! I have seen in her face for some time that + she could not last much longer.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Can't you speak quietly? She can hear everything you say. + [A pause.]</p> +<p>BORKIN. [Sighing] The life of man is like a flower, blooming so + gaily in a field. Then, along comes a goat, he eats it, and the + flower is gone!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Oh, nonsense, nonsense. [Yawning] Everything is a + fraud and a swindle. [A pause.]</p> +<p>BORKIN. Gentlemen, I have been trying to tell Nicholas how he can + make some money, and have submitted a brilliant plan to him, but + my seed, as usual, has fallen on barren soil. Look what a sight + he is now: dull, cross, bored, peevish---</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Gets up and stretches himself] You are always + inventing schemes for everybody, you clever fellow, and telling + them how to live; can't you tell me something? Give me some good + advice, you ingenious young man. Show me a good move to make.</p> +<p>BORKIN. [Getting up] I am going to have a swim. Goodbye, + gentlemen. [To Shabelski] There are at least twenty good moves + you could make. If I were you I should have twenty thousand + roubles in a week.</p> +<p>[He goes out; SHABELSKI follows him.]</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. How would you do it? Come, explain.</p> +<p>BORKIN. There is nothing to explain, it is so simple. [Coming + back] Nicholas, give me a rouble.</p> +<p>IVANOFF silently hands him the money</p> +<p>BORKIN. Thanks. Shabelski, you still hold some trump cards.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI follows him out.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Well, what are they?</p> +<p>BORKIN. If I were you I should have thirty thousand roubles and + more in a week. [They go out together.]</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [After a pause] Useless people, useless talk, and the + necessity of answering stupid questions, have wearied me so, + doctor, that I am ill. I have become so irritable and bitter that + I don't know myself. My head aches for days at a time. I hear a + ringing in my ears, I can't sleep, and yet there is no escape + from it all, absolutely none.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Ivanoff, I have something serious to speak to you about.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. What is it ?</p> +<p>LVOFF. It is about your wife. She refuses to go to the Crimea + alone, but she would go with you.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Thoughtfully] It would cost a great deal for us both to + go, and besides, I could not get leave to be away for so long. I + have had one holiday already this year.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Very well, let us admit that. Now to proceed. The best + cure for consumption is absolute peace of mind, and your wife has + none whatever. She is forever excited by your behaviour to her. + Forgive me, I am excited and am going to speak frankly. Your + treatment of her is killing her. [A pause] Ivanoff, let me + believe better things of you.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. What you say is true, true. I must be terribly guilty, + but my mind is confused. My will seems to be paralysed by a kind + of stupor; I can't understand myself or any one else. [Looks + toward the window] Come, let us take a walk, we might be + overheard here. [They get up] My dear friend, you should hear the + whole story from the beginning if it were not so long and + complicated that to tell it would take all night. [They walk up + and down] Anna is a splendid, an exceptional woman. She has left + her faith, her parents and her fortune for my sake. If I should + demand a hundred other sacrifices, she would consent to every one + without the quiver of an eyelid. Well, I am not a remarkable man + in any way, and have sacrificed nothing. However, the story is a + long one. In short, the whole point is, my dear doctor-- + [Confused] that I married her for love and promised to love her + forever, and now after five years she loves me still and I-- [He + waves his hand] Now, when you tell me she is dying, I feel + neither love nor pity, only a sort of loneliness and weariness. + To all appearances this must seem horrible, and I cannot + understand myself what is happening to me. [They go out.]</p> +<p>SHABELSKI comes in.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Laughing] Upon my word, that man is no scoundrel, but + a great thinker, a master-mind. He deserves a memorial. He is the + essence of modern ingenuity, and combines in himself alone the + genius of the lawyer, the doctor, and the financier. [He sits + down on the lowest step of the terrace] And yet he has never + finished a course of studies in any college; that is so + surprising. What an ideal scoundrel he would have made if he had + acquired a little culture and mastered the sciences! "You could + make twenty thousand roubles in a week," he said. "You still hold + the ace of trumps: it is your title." [Laughing] He said I might + get a rich girl to marry me for it! [ANNA opens the window and + looks down] "Let me make a match between you and Martha," says + he. Who is this Martha? It must be that Balabalkina--Babakalkina + woman, the one that looks like a laundress.</p> +<p>ANNA. Is that you, Count?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. What do you want?</p> +<p>ANNA laughs.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [With a Jewish accent] Vy do you laugh?</p> +<p>ANNA. I was thinking of something you said at dinner, do you + remember? How was it--a forgiven thief, a doctored horse.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. A forgiven thief, a doctored horse, and a + Christianised Jew are all worth the same price.</p> +<p>ANNA. [Laughing] You can't even repeat the simplest saying + without ill-nature. You are a most malicious old man. [Seriously] + Seriously, Count you are extremely disagreeable, and very + tiresome and painful to live with. You are always grumbling and + growling, and everybody to you is a blackguard and a scoundrel. + Tell me honestly, Count, have you ever spoken well of any one?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Is this an inquisition?</p> +<p>ANNA. We have lived under this same roof now for five years, and + I have never heard you speak kindly of people, or without + bitterness and derision. What harm has the world done to you? Is + it possible that you consider yourself better than any one else?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Not at all. I think we are all of us scoundrels and + hypocrites. I myself am a degraded old man, and as useless as a + cast-off shoe. I abuse myself as much as any one else. I was rich + once, and free, and happy at times, but now I am a dependent, an + object of charity, a joke to the world. When I am at last + exasperated and defy them, they answer me with a laugh. When I + laugh, they shake their heads sadly and say, "The old man has + gone mad." But oftenest of all I am unheard and unnoticed by + every one.</p> +<p>ANNA. [Quietly] Screaming again.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Who is screaming?</p> +<p>ANNA. The owl. It screams every evening.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Let it scream. Things are as bad as they can be + already. [Stretches himself] Alas, my dear Sarah! If I could only + win a thousand or two roubles, I should soon show you what I + could do. I wish you could see me! I should get away out of this + hole, and leave the bread of charity, and should not show my nose + here again until the last judgment day.</p> +<p>ANNA. What would you do if you were to win so much money?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Thoughtfully] First I would go to Moscow to hear the + Gipsies play, and then--then I should fly to Paris and take an + apartment and go to the Russian Church.</p> +<p>ANNA. And what else?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. I would go and sit on my wife's grave for days and + days and think. I would sit there until I died. My wife is buried + in Paris. [A pause.]</p> +<p>ANNA. How terribly dull this is! Shall we play a duet?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. As you like. Go and get the music ready. [ANNA goes + out.]</p> +<p>IVANOFF and LVOFF appear in one of the paths.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. My dear friend, you left college last year, and you are + still young and brave. Being thirty-five years old I have the + right to advise you. Don't marry a Jewess or a bluestocking or a + woman who is queer in any way. Choose some nice, common-place + girl without any strange and startling points in her character. + Plan your life for quiet; the greyer and more monotonous you can + make the background, the better. My dear boy, do not try to fight + alone against thousands; do not tilt with windmills; do not dash + yourself against the rocks. And, above all, may you be spared the + so-called rational life, all wild theories and impassioned talk. + Everything is in the hands of God, so shut yourself up in your + shell and do your best. That is the pleasant, honest, healthy way + to live. But the life I have chosen has been so tiring, oh, so + tiring! So full of mistakes, of injustice and stupidity! [Catches + sight of SHABELSKI, and speaks angrily] There you are again, + Uncle, always under foot, never letting one have a moment's quiet + talk!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [In a tearful voice] Is there no refuge anywhere for a + poor old devil like me? [He jumps up and runs into the house.]</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Now I have offended him! Yes, my nerves have certainly + gone to pieces. I must do something about it, I must---</p> +<p>LVOFF. [Excitedly] Ivanoff, I have heard all you have to say + and--and--I am going to speak frankly. You have shown me in your + voice and manner, as well as in your words, the most heartless + egotism and pitiless cruelty. Your nearest friend is dying simply + because she is near you, her days are numbered, and you can feel + such indifference that you go about giving advice and analysing + your feelings. I cannot say all I should like to; I have not the + gift of words, but--but I can at least say that you are deeply + antipathetic to me.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I suppose I am. As an onlooker, of course you see me + more clearly than I see myself, and your judgment of me is + probably right. No doubt I + am terribly guilty. [Listens] I think I hear the carriage + coming. I must get ready to go. [He goes toward the house and + then stops] You dislike me, doctor, and you don't conceal it. + Your sincerity does you credit. [He goes into the house.]</p> +<p>LVOFF. [Alone] What a confoundedly disagreeable character! I have + let another opportunity slip without speaking to him as I meant + to, but I simply cannot talk calmly to that man. The moment I + open my mouth to speak I feel such a commotion and suffocation + here [He puts his hand on his breast] that my tongue sticks to + the roof of my mouth. Oh, I loathe that Tartuffe, that + unmitigated rascal, with all my heart! There he is, preparing to + go driving in spite of the entreaties of his unfortunate wife, + who adores him and whose only happiness is his presence. She + implores him to spend at least one evening with her, and he + cannot even do that. Why, he might shoot himself in despair if he + had to stay at home! Poor fellow, what he wants are new fields + for his villainous schemes. Oh, I know why you go to Lebedieff's + every evening, Ivanoff! I know.</p> +<p>Enter IVANOFF, in hat and coat, ANNA and SHABELSKI</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Look here, Nicholas, this is simply barbarous You go + away every evening and leave us here alone, and we get so bored + that we have to go to bed at eight o'clock. It is a scandal, and + no decent way of living. Why can you go driving if we can't? Why?</p> +<p>ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Let him go if he wants to.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. How can a sick woman like you go anywhere? You know you + have a cough and must not go out after sunset. Ask the doctor + here. You are no child, Annie, you must be reasonable. And as for + you, what would you do with yourself over there?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. I am ready to go anywhere: into the jaws of a + crocodile, or even into the jaws of hell, so long as I don't have + to stay here. I am horribly bored. I am stupefied by this + dullness. Every one here is tired of me. You leave me at home to + entertain Anna, but I feel more like scratching and biting her.</p> +<p>ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Leave him alone. Let him go if he + enjoys himself there.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. What does this mean, Annie? You know I am not going for + pleasure. I must see Lebedieff about the money I owe him.</p> +<p>ANNA. I don't see why you need justify yourself to me. Go ahead! + Who is keeping you?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Heavens! Don't let us bite one another's heads off. Is + that really unavoidable?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Tearfully] Nicholas, my dear boy, do please take me + with you. I might possibly be amused a little by the sight of all + the fools and scoundrels I should see there. You know I haven't + been off this place since Easter.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Exasperated] Oh, very well! Come along then! How + tiresome you all are!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. I may go? Oh, thank you! [Takes him gaily by the arm + and leads him aside] May I wear your straw hat?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. You may, only hurry, please.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI runs into the house.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. How tired I am of you all! But no, what am I saying? + Annie, my manner to you is insufferable, and it never used to be. + Well, good-bye, Annie. I shall be back by one.</p> +<p>ANNA. Nicholas! My dear husband, stay at home to-night!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Excitedly] Darling, sweetheart, my dear, unhappy one, I + implore you to let me leave home in the evenings. I know it is + cruel and unjust to ask this, but let me do you this injustice. + It is such torture for me to stay. As soon as the sun goes down + my soul is overwhelmed by the most horrible despair. Don't ask me + why; I don't know; I swear I don't. This dreadful melancholy + torments me here, it drives me to the Lebedieff's and there it + grows worse than ever. I rush home; it still pursues me; and so I + am tortured all through the night. It is breaking my heart.</p> +<p>ANNA. Nicholas, won't you stay? We will talk together as we used + to. We will have supper together and read afterward. The old + grumbler and I have learned so many duets to play to you. [She + kisses him. Then, after a pause] I can't understand you any more. + This has been going on for a year now. What has changed you so?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I don't know.</p> +<p>ANNA. And why don't you want me to go driving with you in the + evening?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. As you insist on knowing, I shall have to tell you. It + is a little cruel, but you had best understand. When this + melancholy fit is on me I begin to dislike you, Annie, and at + such times I must escape from you. In short, I simply have to + leave this house.</p> +<p>ANNA. Oh, you are sad, are you? I can understand that! Nicholas, + let me tell you something: won't you try to sing and laugh and + scold as you used to? Stay here, and we will drink some liqueur + together. and laugh, and chase away this sadness of yours in no + time. Shall I sing to you? Or shall we sit in your study in the + twilight as we used to, while you tell me about your sadness? I + can read such suffering in your eyes! Let me look into them and + weep, and our hearts will both be lighter. [She laughs and cries + at once] Or is it really true that the flowers return with every + spring, but lost happiness never returns? Oh, is it? Well, go + then, go!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Pray for me, Annie! [He goes; then stops and thinks for + a moment] No, I can't do it. [IVANOFF goes out.]</p> +<p>ANNA. Yes, go, go-- [Sits down at the table.]</p> +<p>LVOFF. [Walking up and down] Make this a rule, Madam: as soon as + the sun goes down you must go indoors and not come out again + until morning. The damp evening air is bad for you.</p> +<p>ANNA. Yes, sir!</p> +<p>LVOFF. What do you mean by "Yes, sir"? I am speaking seriously.</p> +<p>ANNA. But I don't want to be serious. [She coughs.]</p> +<p>LVOFF. There now, you see, you are coughing already.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI comes out of the house in his hat and coat.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Where is Nicholas? Is the carriage here yet? [Goes + quickly to ANNA and kisses her hand] Good-night, my darling! + [Makes a face and speaks with a Jewish accent] I beg your bardon! + [He goes quickly out.]</p> +<p>LVOFF. Idiot!</p> +<p>A pause; the sounds of a concertina are heard in the distance.</p> +<p>ANNA. Oh, how lonely it is! The coachman and the cook are having + a little ball in there by themselves, and I--I am, as it were, + abandoned. Why are you walking about, Doctor? Come and sit down + here.</p> +<p>LVOFF. I can't sit down.</p> +<p>[A pause.]</p> +<p>ANNA. They are playing "The Sparrow" in the kitchen. [She sings]</p> +<p> "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you? + On the mountain drinking dew."</p> +<p>[A pause] Are your father and mother living, Doctor?</p> +<p>LVOFF. My mother is living; my father is dead.</p> +<p>ANNA. Do you miss your mother very much?</p> +<p>LVOFF. I am too busy to miss any one.</p> +<p>ANNA. [Laughing] The flowers return with every spring, but lost + happiness never returns. I wonder who taught me that? I think it + was Nicholas himself. [Listens] The owl is hooting again.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Well, let it hoot.</p> +<p>ANNA. I have begun to think, Doctor, that fate has cheated me. + Other people who, perhaps, are no better than I am are happy and + have not had to pay for their happiness. But I have paid for it + all, every moment of it, and such a price! Why should I have to + pay so terribly? Dear friend, you are all too considerate and + gentle with me to tell me the truth; but do you think I don't + know what is the matter with me? I know perfectly well. However, + this isn't a pleasant subject-- [With a Jewish accent] "I beg + your bardon!" Can you tell funny stories?</p> +<p>LVOFF. No, I can't.</p> +<p>ANNA. Nicholas can. I am beginning to be surprised, too, at the + injustice of people. Why do they return hatred for love, and + answer truth with lies? Can you tell me how much longer I shall + be hated by my mother and father? They live fifty miles away, and + yet I can feel their hatred day and night, even in my sleep. And + how do you account for the sadness of Nicholas? He says that he + only dislikes me in the evening, when the fit is on him. I + understand that, and can tolerate it, but what if he should come + to dislike me altogether? Of course that is impossible, and + yet--no, no, I mustn't even imagine such a thing. [Sings]</p> +<p> "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you?"</p> +<p>[She shudders] What fearful thoughts I have! You are not married, + Doctor; there are many things that you cannot understand.</p> +<p>LVOFF. You say you are surprised, but--but it is you who surprise + me. Tell me, explain to me how you, an honest and intelligent + woman, almost a + saint, could allow yourself to be so basely deceived and dragged + into this den of bears? Why are you here? What have you in common + with such a cold and heartless--but enough of your husband! What + have you in common with these wicked and vulgar surroundings? + With that eternal grumbler, the crazy and decrepit Count? With + that swindler, that prince of rascals, Misha, with his fool's + face? Tell me, I say, how did you get here?</p> +<p>ANNA. [laughing] That is what he used to say, long ago, oh, + exactly! Only his eyes are larger than yours, and when he was + excited they used to shine like coals--go on, go on!</p> +<p>LVOFF. [Gets up and waves his hand] There is nothing more to say. + Go into the house.</p> +<p>ANNA. You say that Nicholas is not what he should be, that his + faults are so and so. How can you possibly understand him? How + can you learn to know any one in six months? He is a wonderful + man, Doctor, and I am sorry you could not have known him as he + was two or three years ago. He is depressed and silent now, and + broods all day without doing anything, but he was splendid then. + I fell in love with him at first sight. [Laughing] I gave one + look and was caught like a mouse in a trap! So when he asked me + to go with him I cut every tie that bound me to my old life as + one snips the withered leaves from a plant. But things are + different now. Now he goes to the Lebedieff's to amuse himself + with other women, and I sit here in the garden and listen to the + owls. [The WATCHMAN'S rattle is heard] Tell me, Doctor, have you + any brothers and sisters?</p> +<p>LVOFF. No.</p> +<p>ANNA sobs.</p> +<p>LVOFF. What is it? What is the matter?</p> +<p>ANNA. I can't stand it, Doctor, I must go.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Where?</p> +<p>ANNA. To him. I am going. Have the horses harnessed. [She runs + into the house.]</p> +<p>LVOFF. No, I certainly cannot go on treating any one under these + conditions. I not only have to do it for nothing, but I am forced + to endure this agony of mind besides. No, no, I can't stand it. I + have had enough of it. [He goes into the house.]</p> +<p>The curtain falls.</p> +<p> </p> +<h3 align="center">ACT II</h3> +<p> </p> +<p>The drawing-room of LEBEDIEFFÕS house. In the centre is a door + leading into a garden. Doors open out of the room to the right + and left. The room is furnished with valuable old furniture, + which is carefully protected by linen covers. The walls are hung + with pictures. The room is lighted by candelabra. ZINAIDA is + sitting on a sofa; the elderly guests are sitting in arm-chairs + on either hand. The young guests are sitting about the room on + small chairs. KOSICH, AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, GEORGE, and others are + playing cards in the background. GABRIEL is standing near the + door on the right. The maid is passing sweetmeats about on a + tray. During the entire act guests come and go from the garden, + through the room, out of the door on the left, and back again. + Enter MARTHA through the door on the right. She goes toward + ZINAIDA.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. [Gaily] My dearest Martha!</p> +<p>MARTHA. How do you do, Zinaida? Let me congratulate you on your + daughter's birthday.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. Thank you, my dear; I am delighted to see you. How are + you?</p> +<p>MARTHA. Very well indeed, thank you. [She sits down on the sofa] + Good evening, young people!</p> +<p>The younger guests get up and bow.</p> +<p>FIRST GUEST. [Laughing] Young people indeed! Do you call yourself + an old person?</p> +<p>MARTHA. [Sighing] How can I make any pretense to youth now?</p> +<p>FIRST GUEST. What nonsense! The fact that you are a widow means + nothing. You could beat any pretty girl you chose at a canter.</p> +<p>GABRIEL brings MARTHA some tea.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. Why do you bring the tea in like that? Go and fetch some + jam to eat with it!</p> +<p>MARTHA. No thank you; none for me, don't trouble yourself. [A + pause.]</p> +<p>FIRST GUEST. [To MARTHA] Did you come through Mushkine on your + way here?</p> +<p>MARTHA. No, I came by way of Spassk. The road is better that way.</p> +<p>FIRST GUEST. Yes, so it is.</p> +<p>KOSICH. Two in spades.</p> +<p>GEORGE. Pass.</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. Pass.</p> +<p>SECOND GUEST. Pass.</p> +<p>MARTHA. The price of lottery tickets has gone up again, my dear. + I have never known such a state of affairs. The first issue is + already worth two hundred and seventy and the second nearly two + hundred and fifty. This has never happened before.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. How fortunate for those who have a great many tickets!</p> +<p>MARTHA. Don't say that, dear; even when the price of tickets is + high it does not pay to put one's capital into them.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. Quite true, and yet, my dear, one never can tell what + may happen. Providence is sometimes kind.</p> +<p>THIRD GUEST. My impression is, ladies, that at present capital is + exceedingly unproductive. Shares pay very small dividends, and + speculating is exceedingly dangerous. As I understand it, the + capitalist now finds himself in a more critical position than the + man who---</p> +<p>MARTHA. Quite right. </p> +<p>FIRST GUEST yawns.</p> +<p>MARTHA. How dare you yawn in the presence of ladies?</p> +<p>FIRST GUEST. I beg your pardon! It was quite an accident.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA gets up and goes out through the door on the right.</p> +<p>GEORGE. Two in hearts.</p> +<p>SECOND GUEST. Pass.</p> +<p>KOSICH. Pass.</p> +<p>MARTHA. [Aside] Heavens! This is deadly! I shall die of ennui.</p> +<p>Enter ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF through the door on the right.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. Why do you go off by yourself like a prima donna? Come + and sit with our guests!</p> +<p>[She sits down in her former place.]</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Yawning] Oh, dear, our sins are heavy! [He catches + sight of MARTHA] Why, there is my little sugar-plum! How is your + most esteemed highness?</p> +<p>MARTHA. Very well, thank you.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Splendid, splendid! [He sits down in an armchair] + Quite right--Oh, Gabriel!</p> +<p>GABRIEL brings him a glass of vodka and a tumbler of water. He + empties the glass of vodka and sips the water.</p> +<p>FIRST GUEST. Good health to you!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Good health is too much to ask. I am content to keep + death from the door. [To his wife] Where is the heroine of this + occasion, Zuzu?</p> +<p>KOSICH. [In a plaintive voice] Look here, why haven't we taken + any tricks yet? [He jumps up] Yes, why have we lost this game + entirely, confound it?</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. [Jumps up angrily] Because, friend, you don't know how + to play it, and have no right to be sitting here at all. What + right had you to lead from another suit? Haven't you the ace + left? [They both leave the table and run forward.]</p> +<p>KOSICH. [In a tearful voice] Ladies and gentlemen, let me + explain! I had the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the + ace of spades and one, just one, little heart, do you understand? + Well, she, bad luck to her, she couldn't make a little slam. I + said one in no-trumps--- *</p> +<p>*The game played is vint, the national card-game of Russia and + the direct ancestor of auction bridge, with which it is almost + identical. [translator's note]</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. [Interrupting him] No, I said one in no-trumps; you said + two in no-trumps---</p> +<p>KOSICH. This is unbearable! Allow me--you had--I had--you had-- + [To LEBEDIEFF] But you shall decide it, Paul: I had the ace, + king, queen, and eight of diamonds---</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Puts his fingers into his ears] Stop, for heaven's + sake, stop!</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. [Yelling] I said no-trumps, and not he!</p> +<p>KOSICH. [Furiously] I'll be damned if I ever sit down to another + game of cards with that old cat!</p> +<p>He rushes into the garden. The SECOND GUEST follows him. GEORGE + is left alone at the table.</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. Whew! He makes my blood boil! Old cat, indeed! You're an + old cat yourself!</p> +<p>MARTHA. How angry you are, aunty!</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. [Sees MARTHA and claps her hands] Are you here, my + darling? My beauty! And was I blind as a bat, and didn't see you? + Darling child! [She kisses her and sits down beside her] How + happy this makes me! Let me feast my eyes on you, my milk-white + swan! Oh, oh, you have bewitched me!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Why don't you find her a husband instead of singing + her praises?</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. He shall be found. I shall not go to my grave before I + have found a husband for her, and one for Sasha too. I shall not + go to my grave-- [She sighs] But where to find these husbands + nowadays? There sit some possible bridegrooms now, huddled + together like a lot of half-drowned rats!</p> +<p>THIRD GUEST. A most unfortunate comparison! It is my belief, + ladies, that if the young men of our day prefer to remain single, + the fault lies not with them, but with the existing, social + conditions!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Come, enough of that! Don't give us any mo re + philosophy; I don't like it!</p> +<p>Enter SASHA. She goes up to her father.</p> +<p>SASHA. How can you endure the stuffy air of this room when the + weather is so beautiful?</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. My dear Sasha, don't you see that Martha is here?</p> +<p>SASHA. I beg your pardon.</p> +<p>[She goes up to MARTHA and shakes hands.]</p> +<p>MARTHA. Yes, here I am, my dear little Sasha, and proud to + congratulate you. [They kiss each other] Many happy returns of + the day, dear!</p> +<p>SASHA. Thank you! [She goes and sits down by her father.]</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. As you were saying, Avdotia Nazarovna, husbands are + hard to find. I don't want to be rude, but I must say that the + young men of the present are a dull and poky lot, poor fellows! + They can't dance or talk or drink as they should do.</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. Oh, as far as drinking goes, they are all experts. Just + give them--give them---</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Simply to drink is no art. A horse can drink. No, it + must be done in the right way. In my young days we used to sit + and cudgel our brains all day over our lessons, but as soon as + evening came we would fly off on some spree and keep it up till + dawn. How we used to dance and flirt, and drink, too! Or + sometimes we would sit and chatter and discuss everything under + the sun until we almost wagged our tongues off. But now-- [He + waves his hand] Boys are a puzzle to me. They are not willing + either to give a candle to God or a pitchfork to the devil! There + is only one young fellow in the country who is worth a penny, and + he is married. [Sighs] They say, too, that he is going crazy.</p> +<p>MARTHA. Who is he?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Nicholas Ivanoff.</p> +<p>MARTHA. Yes, he is a fine fellow, only [Makes a face] he is very + unhappy.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. How could he be otherwise, poor boy! [She sighs] He made + such a bad mistake. When he married that Jewess of his he thought + of course that her parents would give away whole mountains of + gold with her, but, on the contrary, on the day she became a + Christian they disowned her, and Ivanoff has never seen a penny + of the money. He has repented of his folly now, but it is too + late.</p> +<p>SASHA. Mother, that is not true!</p> +<p>MARTHA. How can you say it is not true, Sasha, when we all know + it to be a fact? Why did he have to marry a Jewess? He must have + had some reason for doing it. Are Russian girls so scarce? No, he + made a mistake, poor fellow, a sad mistake. [Excitedly] And what + on earth can he do with her now? Where could she go if he were to + come home some day and say: "Your parents have deceived me; leave + my house at once!" Her parents wouldn't take her back. She might + find a place as a house-maid if she had ever learned to work, + which she hasn't. He worries and worries her now, but the Count + interferes. If it had not been for the Count, he would have + worried her to death long ago.</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. They say he shuts her up in a cellar and stuffs her with + garlic, and she eats and eats until her very soul reeks of it. + [Laughter.]</p> +<p>SASHA. But, father, you know that isn't true!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. What if it isn't, Sasha? Let them spin yarns if it + amuses them. [He calls] Gabriel!</p> +<p>GABRIEL brings him another glass of vodka and a glass of water.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. His misfortunes have almost ruined him, poor man. His + affairs are in a frightful condition. If Borkin did not take such + good charge of his estate he and his Jewess would soon be + starving to death. [She sighs] And what anxiety he has caused us! + Heaven only knows how we have suffered. Do you realise, my dear, + that for three years he has owed us nine thousand roubles?</p> +<p>MARTHA. [Horrified] Nine thousand!</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. Yes, that is the sum that my dear Paul has undertaken to + lend him. He never knows to whom it is safe to lend money and to + whom it is not. I don't worry about the principal, but he ought + to pay the interest on his debt.</p> +<p>SASHA. [Hotly] Mamma, you have already discussed this subject at + least a thousand times!</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. What difference does it make to you? Why should you + interfere?</p> +<p>SASHA. What is this mania you all have for gossiping about a man + who has never done any of you any harm? Tell me, what harm has he + done you?</p> +<p>THIRD GUEST. Let me say two words, Miss Sasha. I esteem Ivanoff, + and have always found him an honourable man, but, between + ourselves, I also consider him an adventurer.</p> +<p>SASHA. I congratulate you on your opinion!</p> +<p>THIRD GUEST. In proof of its truth, permit me to present to you + the following facts, as they were communicated to me by his + secretary, or shall I say rather, by his factotum, Borkin. Two + years ago, at the time of the cattle plague, he bought some + cattle and had them insured--</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. Yes, I remember hearing' of that.</p> +<p>THIRD GUEST. He had them insured, as you understand, and then + inoculated them with the disease and claimed the insurance.</p> +<p>SASHA. Oh, what nonsense, nonsense, nonsense! No one bought or + inoculated any cattle! The story was invented by Borkin, who then + went about boasting of his clever plan. Ivanoff would not forgive + Borkin for two weeks after he heard of it. He is only guilty of a + weak character and too great faith in humanity. He can't make up + his mind to get rid of that Borkin, and so all his possessions + have been tricked and stolen from him. Every one who has had + anything to do with Ivanoff has taken advantage of his generosity + to grow rich.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Sasha, you little firebrand, that will do!</p> +<p>SASHA. Why do you all talk like this? This eternal subject of + Ivanoff, Ivanoff, and always Ivanoff has grown insufferable, and + yet you never speak of anything else. [She goes toward the door, + then stops and comes back] I am surprised, [To the young men] and + utterly astonished at your patience, young men! How can you sit + there like that? Aren't you bored? Why, the very air is as dull + as ditchwater! Do, for heaven's sake say something; try to amuse + the girls a little, move about! Or if you can't talk of anything + except Ivanoff, you might laugh or sing or dance---</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] That's right, Sasha! Give them a good + scolding.</p> +<p>SASHA. Look here, will you do me a favour? If you refuse to dance + or sing or laugh, if all that is tedious, then let me beg you, + implore you, to summon all your powers, if only for this once, + and make one witty or clever remark. Let it be as impertinent and + malicious as you like, so long as it is funny and original. Won't + you perform this miracle, just once, to surprise us and make us + laugh? Or else you might think of some little thing which you + could all do together, something to make you stir about. Let the + girls admire you for once in their lives! Listen to me! I suppose + you want them to like you? Then why don't try to make them do it? + Oh, dear! There is something wrong with you all! You are a lot of + sleepy stick-in-the-muds! I have told you so a thousand times and + shall always go on repeating it; there is something wrong with + every one of you; something wrong, wrong, wrong!</p> +<p>Enter IVANOFF and SHABELSKI through the door on the right.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Who is making a speech here? Is it you, Sasha? [He + laughs and shakes hands with her] Many happy returns of the day, + my dear child. May you live as long as possible in this life, but + never be born again!</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. [Joyfully] My dear Count!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Who can this be? Not you, Count?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Sees ZINAIDA and MARTHA sitting side by side] Two + gold mines side by side! What a pleasant picture it makes! [He + shakes hands with ZINAIDA] Good evening, Zuzu! [Shakes hands with + MARTHA] Good evening, Birdie!</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. I am charmed to see you, Count. You are a rare visitor + here now. [Calls] Gabriel, bring some tea! Please sit down.</p> +<p>She gets up and goes to the door and back, evidently much + preoccupied. SASHA sits down in her former place. IVANOFF + silently shakes hands with every one.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] What miracle has brought you here? You + have given us a great surprise. Why, Count, you're a rascal, you + haven't been treating us right at all. [Leads him forward by the + hand] Tell me, why don't you ever come to see us now? Are you + offended?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. How can I get here to see you? Astride a broomstick? I + have no horses of my own, and Nicholas won't take me with him + when he goes out. He says I must stay at home to amuse Sarah. + Send your horses for me and I shall come with pleasure.</p> +<p>LEBE DIEFF. [With a wave of the hand] Oh, that is easy to say! + But Zuzu would rather have a fit than lend the horses to any one. + My dear, dear old friend, you are more to me than any one I know! + You and I are survivors of those good old days that are gone + forever, and you alone bring back to my mind the love and + longings of my lost youth. Of course I am only joking, and yet, + do you know, I am almost in tears?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Stop, stop! You smell like the air of a wine cellar.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Dear friend, you cannot imagine how lonely I am + without my old companions! I could hang myself! [Whispers] Zuzu + has frightened all the decent men away with her stingy ways, and + now we have only this riff-raff, as you see: Tom, Dick, and + Harry. However, drink your tea.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. [Anxiously, to GABRIEL] Don't bring it in like that! Go + fetch some jam to eat with it!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Didn't I tell you so ? + [To LEBEDIEFF] I bet him driving over, that as soon as we arrived + Zuzu would want to feed us with jam!</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. Still joking, Count! [She sits down.]</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. She made twenty jars of it this year, and how else do + you expect her to get rid of it?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Sits down near the table] Are you still adding to the + hoard, Zuzu? You will soon have a million, eh?</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. [Sighing] I know it seems as if no one could be richer + than we, but where do they think the money comes from? It is all + gossip.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, we all know that! We know how badly you play + your cards! Tell me, Paul, honestly, have you saved up a million + yet?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. I don't know. Ask Zuzu.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [To MARTHA] And my plump little Birdie here will soon + have a million too! She is getting prettier and plumper not only + every day, but every hour. That means she has a nice little + fortune.</p> +<p>MARTHA. Thank you very much, your highness, but I don't like such + jokes.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. My dear little gold mine, do you call that a joke? It + was a wail of the soul, a cry from the heart, that burst through + my lips. My love for you and Zuzu is immense. [Gaily] Oh, + rapture! Oh, bliss! I cannot look at you two without a madly + beating heart!</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. You are still the same, Count. [To GEORGE] Put out the + candles please, George. [GEORGE gives a start. He puts out the + candles and sits down again] How is your wife, Nicholas?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. She is very ill. The doctor said to-day that she + certainly had consumption.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. Really? Oh, how sad! [She sighs] And we are all so fond + of her!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. What trash you all talk! That story was invented by + that sham doctor, and is nothing but a trick of his. He wants to + masquerade as an Aesculapius, and so has started this consumption + theory. Fortunately her husband isn't jealous. [IVANOFF makes an + inpatient gesture] As for Sarah, I wouldn't trust a word or an + action of hers. I have made a point all my life of mistrusting + all doctors, lawyers, and women. They are shammers and deceivers.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] You are an extraordinary person, + Matthew! You have mounted this misanthropic hobby of yours, and + you ride it through thick and thin like a lunatic You are a man + like any other, and yet, from the way you talk one would imagine + that you had the pip, or a cold in the head.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Would you have me go about kissing every rascal and + scoundrel I meet?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Where do you find all these rascals and scoundrels?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Of course I am not talking of any one here present, + nevertheless----</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. There you are again with your "nevertheless." All this + is simply a fancy of yours.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. A fancy? It is lucky for you that you have no + knowledge of the world!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. My knowledge of the world is this: I must sit here + prepared at any moment to have death come knocking at the door. + That is my knowledge of the world. At our age, brother, you and I + can't afford to worry about knowledge of the world. So then-- [He + calls] Oh, Gabriel!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. You have had quite enough already. Look at your nose.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. No matter, old boy. I am not going to be married + to-day.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. Doctor Lvoff has not been here for a long time. He seems + to have forgotten us.</p> +<p>SASHA. That man is one of my aversions. I can't stand his icy + sense of honour. He can't ask for a glass of water or smoke a + cigarette without making a display of his remarkable honesty. + Walking and talking, it is written on his brow: "I am an honest + man." He is a great bore.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. He is a narrow-minded, conceited medico. [Angrily] He + shrieks like a parrot at every step: "Make way for honest + endeavour!" and thinks himself another St. Francis. Everybody is + a rascal who doesn't make as much noise as he does. As for his + penetration, it is simply remarkable! If a peasant is well off + and lives decently, he sees at once that he must be a thief and a + scoundrel. If I wear a velvet coat and am dressed by my valet, I + am a rascal and the valet is my slave. There is no place in this + world for a man like him. I am actually afraid of him. Yes, + indeed, he is likely, out of a sense of duty, to insult a man at + any moment and to call him a knave.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I am dreadfully tired of him, but I can't help liking + him, too, he is so sincere.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, his sincerity is beautiful! He came up to me + yesterday evening and remarked absolutely apropos of nothing: + "Count, I have a deep aversion to you!" It isn't as if he said + such things simply, but they are extremely pointed. His voice + trembles, his eyes flash, his veins swell. Confound his infernal + honesty! Supposing I am disgusting and odious to him? What is + more natural? I know that I am, but I don't like to be told so to + my face. I am a worthless old man, but he might have the decency + to respect my grey hairs. Oh, what stupid, heartless honesty!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Come, come, you have been young yourself, and should + make allowances for him.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Yes, I have been young and reckless; I have played the + fool in my day and have seen plenty of knaves and scamps, but I + have never called a thief a thief to his face, or talked of ropes + in the house of a man who had been hung. I knew how to behave, + but this idiotic doctor of yours would think himself in the + seventh heaven of happiness if fate would allow him to pull my + nose in public in the name of morality and human ideals.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Young men are all stubborn and restive. I had an uncle + once who thought himself a philosopher. He would fill his house + with guests, and after he had had a drink he would get up on a + chair, like this, and begin: "You ignoramuses! You powers of + darkness! This is the dawn of a new life!" And so on and so on; + he would preach and preach---</p> +<p>SASHA. And the guests?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. They would just sit and listen and go on drinking. + Once, though, I challenged him to a duel, challenged my own + uncle! It came out of a discussion about Sir Francis Bacon. I was + sitting, I remember, where Matthew is, and my uncle and the late + Gerasim Nilitch were standing over there, about where Nicholas is + now. Well, Gerasim Nilitch propounded this question---</p> +<p>Enter BORKIN. He is dressed like a dandy and carries a parcel + under his arm. He comes in singing and skipping through the door + on the right. A murmur of approval is heard.</p> +<p>THE GIRLS. Oh, Michael Borkin!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Misha!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. The soul of the company!</p> +<p>BORKIN. Here we are! [He runs up to SASHA] Most noble Signorina, + let me be so bold as to wish to the whole world many happy + returns of the birthday of such an exquisite flower as you! As a + token of my enthusiasm let me presume to present you with these + fireworks and this Bengal fire of my own manufacture. [He hands + her the parcel] May they illuminate the night as brightly as you + illuminate the shadows of this dark world. [He spreads them out + theatrically before her.]</p> +<p>SASHA. Thank you.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Why don't you send this + Judas packing?</p> +<p>BORKIN. [To LEBEDIEFF] My compliments to you, sir. [To IVANOFF] + How are you, my patron? [Sings] Nicholas voila, hey ho hey! [He + greets everybody in turn] Most highly honoured Zinaida! Oh, + glorious Martha! Most ancient Avdotia! Noblest of Counts!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Laughing] The life of the company! The moment he + comes in the air fe els livelier. Have you noticed it?</p> +<p>BORKIN. Whew! I am tired! I believe I have shaken hands with + everybody. Well, ladies and gentlemen, haven't you some little + tidbit to tell me; something spicy? [Speaking quickly to ZINAIDA] + Oh, aunty! I have something to tell you. As I was on my way + here-- [To GABRIEL] Some tea, please Gabriel, but without jam--as + I was on my way here I saw some peasants down on the river-bank + pulling the bark off the trees. Why don't you lease that meadow?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [To IVANOFF] Why don't you send that Judas away?</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. [Startled] Why, that is quite true! I never thought of + it.</p> +<p>BORKIN. [Swinging his arms] I can't sit still! What tricks shall we be up to + next, aunty? I am all on edge, Martha, absolutely exalted. [He sings]</p> +<blockquote> + <p> "Once more I stand before thee!"</p> +</blockquote> +<p>ZINAIDA. Think of something to amuse us, Misha, we are all bored.</p> +<p>BORKIN. Yes, you look so. What is the matter with you all? Why + are you sitting there as solemn as a jury? Come, let us play + something; what shall it be? Forfeits? Hide-and-seek? Tag? Shall + we dance, or have the fireworks?</p> +<p>THE GIRLS. [Clapping their hands] The fireworks! The fireworks! + [They run into the garden.]</p> +<p>SASHA. [ To IVANOFF] What makes you so depressed today?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. My head aches, little Sasha, and then I feel bored.</p> +<p>SASHA. Come into the sitting-room with me.</p> +<p>They go out through the door on the right. All the guests go into + the garden and ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF are left alone.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. That is what I like to see! A young man like Misha comes + into the room and in a minute he has everybody laughing. [She + puts out the large lamp] There is no reason the candles should + burn for nothing so long as they are all in the garden. [She + blows out the candles.]</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Following her] We really ought to give our guests + something to eat, Zuzu!</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. What crowds of candles; no wonder we are thought rich.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Still following her] Do let them have something to + eat, Zuzu; they are young and must be hungry by now, poor + things--Zuzu!</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. The Count did not finish his tea, and all that sugar has + been wasted. [Goes out through the door on the left.]</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Bah! [Goes out into the garden.]</p> +<p>Enter IVANOFF and SASHA through the door on the right.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. This is how it is, Sasha: I used to work hard and think + hard, and never tire; now, I neither do anything nor think + anything, and I am weary, body and soul. I feel I am terribly to + blame, my conscience leaves me no peace day or night, and yet I + can't see clearly exactly what my mistakes are. And now comes my + wife's illness, our poverty, this eternal backbiting, gossiping, + chattering, that foolish Borkin--My home has become unendurable + to me, and to live there is worse than torture. Frankly, Sasha, + the presence of my wife, who loves me, has become unbearable. You + are an old friend, little Sasha, you will not be angry with me + for speaking so openly. I came to you to be cheered, but I am + bored here too, something urges me home again. Forgive me, I + shall slip away at once.</p> +<p>SASHA. I can understand your trouble, Nicholas. You are unhappy + because you are lonely. You need some one at your side whom you + can love, someone who understands you.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. What an idea, Sasha! Fancy a crusty old badger like + myself starting a love affair! Heaven preserve me from such + misfortune! No, my little sage, this is not a case for romance. + The fact is, I can endure all I have to suffer: sadness, sickness + of mind, ruin, the loss of my wife, and my lonely, broken old + age, but I cannot, I will not, endure the contempt I have for + myself! I am nearly killed by shame when I think that a strong, + healthy man like myself has become--oh, heaven only knows + what--by no means a Manfred or a Hamlet! There are some + unfortunates who feel flattered when people call them Hamlets and + cynics, but to me it is an insult. It wounds my pride and I am + tortured by shame and suffer agony.</p> +<p>SASHA. [Laughing through her tears] Nicholas, let us run away to + America together!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I haven't the energy to take such a step as that, and + besides, in America you-- [They go toward the door into the + garden] As a matter of fact, Sasha, this is not a good place for + you to live. When I look about at the men who surround you I am + terrified for you; whom is there you could marry? Your only + chance will be if some passing lieutenant or student steals your + heart and carries you away.</p> +<p>Enter ZINAIDA through the door on the right with a jar of jam.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Excuse me, Sasha, I shall join you in a minute.</p> +<p>SASHA goes out into the garden.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [To ZINAIDA] Zinaida, may I ask you a favour?</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. What is it?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. The fact is, you know, that the interest on my note is + due day after to-morrow, but I should be more than obliged to you + if you will let me postpone the payment of it, or would let me + add the interest to the capital. I simply cannot pay it now; I + haven't the money.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. Oh, Ivanoff, how could I do such a thing? Would it be + business-like? No, no, don't ask it, don't torment an unfortunate + old woman.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I beg your pardon. [He goes out into the garden.]</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! What a fright he gave me! I am + trembling all over. [Goes out through the door on the right.]</p> +<p>Enter KOSICH through the door on the left. He walks across the + stage.</p> +<p>KOSICH. I had the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the + ace of spades, and one, just one little heart, and she--may the + foul fiend fly away with her,--she couldn't make a little slam!</p> +<p>Goes out through the door on the right. Enter from the garden + AVDOTIA and FIRST GUEST.</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her, the + miserable old miser! How I should like it! Does she think it a + joke to leave us sitting here since five o'clock without even + offering us a crust to eat? What a house! What management!</p> +<p>FIRST GUEST. I am so bored that I feel like beating my head + against the wall. Lord, what a queer lot of people! I shall soon + be howling like a wolf and snapping at them from hunger and + weariness.</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. How I should like to get my claws into her, the old + sinner!</p> +<p>FIRST GUEST. I shall get a drink, old lady, and then home I go! I + won't have anything to do with these belles of yours. How the + devil can a man think of love who hasn't had a drop to drink + since dinner?</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. Come on, we will go and find something.</p> +<p>FIRST GUEST. Sh! Softly! I think the brandy is in the sideboard + in the dining-room. We will find George! Sh!</p> +<p>They go out through the door on the left. Enter ANNA and LVOFF + through the door on the right.</p> +<p>ANNA. No, they will be glad to see us. Is no one here? Then they + must be in the garden.</p> +<p>LVOFF. I should like to know why you have brought me into this + den of wolves. This is no place for you and me; honourable people + should not be subjected to such influences as these.</p> +<p>ANNA. Listen to me, Mr. Honourable Man. When you are escorting a + lady it is very bad manners to talk to her the whole way about + nothing but your own honesty. Such behaviour may be perfectly + honest, but it is also tedious, to say the least. Never tell a + woman how good you are; let her find it out herself. My Nicholas + used only to sing and tell stories when he was young as you are, + and yet every woman knew at once what kind of a man he was.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Don't talk to me of your Nicholas; I know all about him!</p> +<p>ANNA. You are a very worthy man, but you don't know anything at + all. Come into the garden. He never said: "I am an honest man; + these surroundings are too narrow for me." He never spoke of + wolves' dens, called people bears or vultures. He left the animal + kingdom alone, and the most I have ever heard him say when he was + excited was: "Oh, how unjust I have been to-day!" or "Annie, + I am + sorry for that man." That's what he would say, but you--</p> +<p>ANNA and LVOFF go out. Enter AVDOTIA and FIRST GUEST through the + door on the left.</p> +<p>FIRST GUEST. There isn't any in the dining-room, so it must be + somewhere in the pantry. We must find George. Come this way, + through the sitting-room.</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her!</p> +<p>They go out through the door on the right. MARTHA and BORKIN run + in laughing from the garden. SHABELSK I comes mincing behind + them, laughing and rubbing his hands.</p> +<p>MARTHA. Oh, I am so bored! [Laughs loudly] This is deadly! Every + one looks as if he had swallowed a poker. I am frozen to the + marrow by this icy dullness. [She skips about] Let us do + something!</p> +<p>BORKIN catches her by the waist and kisses her cheek.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Laughing and snapping his fingers] Well, I'll be + hanged! [Cackling] Really, you know!</p> +<p>MARTHA. Let go! Let go, you wretch! What will the Count think? + Stop, I say!</p> +<p>BORKIN. Angel! Jewel! Lend me twenty-three hundred roubles.</p> +<p>MARTHA. Most certainly not! Do what you please, but I'll thank + you to leave my money alone. No, no, no! Oh, let go, will you?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Mincing around them] The little birdie has its + charms! [Seriously] Come, that will do!</p> +<p>BORKIN. Let us come to the point, and consider my proposition + frankly as a business arrangement. Answer me honestly, without + tricks and equivocations, do you agree to do it or not? Listen to + me; [Pointing to Shabelski] he needs money to the amount of at + least three thousand a year; you need a husband. Do you want to + be a Countess?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly] Oh, the cynic!</p> +<p>BORKIN. Do you want to be a Countess or not?</p> +<p>MARTHA. [Excitedly] Wait a minute; really, Misha, these things + aren't done in a second like this. If the Count wants to marry + me, let him ask me himself, and--and--I don't see, I don't + understand--all this is so sudden---</p> +<p>BORKIN. Come, don't let us beat about the bush; this is a + business arrangement. Do you agree or not?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Chuckling and rubbing his hands] Supposing I do marry + her, eh? Hang it, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? + What do you say, little puss? [He kisses her cheek] Dearest + chick-a-biddy!</p> +<p>MARTHA. Stop! Stop! I hardly know what I am doing. Go away! + No--don't go!</p> +<p>BORKIN. Answer at once: is it yes or no? We can't stand here + forever.</p> +<p>MARTHA. Look here, Count, come and visit me for three or four + days. It is gay at my house, not like this place. Come to-morrow. + [To BORKIN] Or is this all a joke?</p> +<p>BORKIN. [Angrily] How could I joke on such a serious subject?</p> +<p>MARTHA. Wait! Stop! Oh, I feel faint! A Countess! I am fainting, + I am falling!</p> +<p>BORKIN and SHABELSKI laugh and catch her by the arms. They kiss + her cheeks and lead her out through the door on the right. + IVANOFF and SASHA run in from the garden.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Desperately clutching his head] It can't be true! Don't + Sasha, don't! Oh, I implore you not to!</p> +<p>SASHA. I love you madly. Without you my life can have no meaning, + no happiness, no hope.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Why, why do you say that? What do you mean? Little + Sasha, don't say it!</p> +<p>SASHA. You were the only joy of my childhood; I loved you body + and soul then, as myself, but now--Oh, I love you, Nicholas! Take + me with you to the ends of the earth, wherever you wish; but for + heaven's sake let us go at once, or I shall die.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Shaking with wild laughter] What is this? Is it the + beginning for me of a new life? Is it, Sasha? Oh, my happiness, + my joy! [He draws her to him] My freshness, my youth!</p> +<p>Enter ANNA from the garden. She sees her husband and SASHA, and + stops as if petrified.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Oh, then I shall live once more? And work?</p> +<p>IVANOFF and SASHA kiss each other. After the kiss they look + around and see ANNA.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [With horror] Sarah!</p> +<p>The curtain falls.</p> +<p> </p> +<h3 align="center">ACT III</h3> +<p> </p> +<p>Library in IVANOFF'S house. On the walls hang maps, pictures, guns, pistols, + sickles, whips, etc. A writing-table. On it lie in disorder knick-knacks, papers, + books, parcels, and several revolvers. Near the papers stand a lamp, a decanter + of vodka, and a plate of salted herrings. Pieces of bread and cucumber are scattered + about. SHABELSKI and LEBEDIEFF are sitting at the writing-table. BORKIN is sitting + astride a chair in the middle of the room. PETER is standing near the door.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. The policy of France is clear and definite; the French + know what they want: it is to skin those German sausages, but the + Germans must sing another song; France is not the only thorn in + their flesh.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Nonsense! In my opinion the Germans are cowards and + the French are the same. They are showing their teeth at one + another, but you can take my word for it, they will not do more + than that; they'll never fight!</p> +<p>BORKIN. Why should they fight? Why all these congresses, this + arming and expense? Do you know what I would do in their place? I + would catch all the dogs in the kingdom and inoculate them with + Pasteur's serum, then I would let them loose in the enemy's + country, and the enemies would all go mad in a month.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] His head is small, but the great ideas are + hidden away in it like fish in the sea!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Oh, he is a genius.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Heaven help you, Misha, you are a funny chap. [He + stops laughing] But how is this, gentlemen? Here we are talking + Germany, Germany, and never a word about vodka! Repetatur! [He + fills three glasses] Here's to you all! [He drinks and eats] This + herring is the best of all relishes.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. No, no, these cucumbers are better; every wise man + since the creation of the world has been trying to invent + something better than a salted cucumber, and not one has + succeeded. [To PETER] Peter, go and fetch some more cucumbers. + And Peter, tell the cook to make four little onion pasties, and + see that we get them hot.</p> +<p>PETER goes out.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Caviar is good with vodka, but it must be prepared + with skill. Take a quarter of a pound of pressed caviar, two + little onions, and a little olive oil; mix them together and put + a slice of lemon on top--so! Lord! The very perfume would drive + you crazy!</p> +<p>BORKIN. Roast snipe are good too, but they must be cooked right. + They should first be cleaned, then sprinkled with bread crumbs, + and roasted until they will crackle between the teeth--crunch, + crunch!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. We had something good at Martha's yesterday: white + mushrooms.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. You don't say so!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. And they were especially well prepared, too, with + onions and bay-leaves and spices, you know. When the dish was + opened, the odour that floated out was simply intoxicating!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. What do you say, gentlemen? Repetatur! [He drinks] + Good health to you! [He looks at his watch] I must be going. I + can't wait for Nicholas. So you say Martha gave you mushrooms? We + haven't seen one at home. Will you please tell me, Count, what + plot you are hatching that takes you to Martha's so often?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Nodding at BORKIN] He wants me to marry her.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Wants you to marry her! How old are you?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Sixty-two.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Really, you are just the age to marry, aren't you? And + Martha is just suited to you!</p> +<p>BORKIN. This is not a question of Martha, but of Martha's money.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Aren't you moonstruck, and don't you want the moon + too?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Borkin here is quite in earnest about it; the clever + fellow is sure I shall obey orders, and marry Martha.</p> +<p>BORKIN. What do you mean? Aren't you sure yourself?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Are you mad? I never was sure of anything. Bah!</p> +<p>BORKIN. Many thanks! I am much obliged to you for the + information. So you are trying to fool me, are you? First you say + you will marry Martha and then you say you won't; the devil only + knows which you really mean, but I have given her my word of + honour that you will. So you have changed your mind, have you?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. He is actually in earnest; what an extraordinary man!</p> +<p>BORKIN. [losing his temper] If that is how you feel about it, why + have you turned an honest woman's head? Her heart is set on your + title, and she can neither eat nor sleep for thinking of it. How + can you make a jest of such things? Do you think such behaviour + is honourable?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Snapping his fingers] Well, why not play her this + shabby trick, after all? Eh? Just out of spite? I shall certainly + do it, upon my word I shall! What a joke it will be!</p> +<p>Enter LVOFF.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. We bow before you, Aesculapius! [He shakes hands with + LVOFF and sings]</p> +<p> "Doctor, doctor, save, oh, save me, + I am scared to death of dying!"</p> +<p>LVOFF. Hasn't Ivanoff come home yet?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Not yet. I have been waiting for him myself for over + an hour.</p> +<p>LVOFF walks impatiently up and down.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. How is Anna to-day?</p> +<p>LVO FF. Very ill.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Sighing] May one go and pay one's respects to her?</p> +<p>LVOFF. No, please don't. She is asleep, I believe.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. She is a lovely, charming woman. [Sighing] The day she + fainted at our house, on Sasha's birthday, I saw that she had not + much longer to live, poor thing. Let me see, why did she faint? + When I ran up, she was lying on the floor, ashy white, with + Nicholas on his knees beside her, and Sasha was standing by them + in tears. Sasha and I went about almost crazy for a week after + that.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [To LVOFF] Tell me, most honoured disciple of science, + what scholar discovered that the frequent visits of a young + doctor were beneficial to ladies suffering from affections of the + chest? It is a remarkable discovery, remarkable! Would you call + such treatment Allopathic or Homeopathic?</p> +<p>LVOFF tries to answer, but makes an impatient gesture instead, + and walks out of the room.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. What a withering look he gave me!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Some fiend must prompt you to say such things! Why did + you offend him?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Angrily] Why does he tell such lies? Consumption! No + hope! She is dying! It is nonsense, I can't abide him!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. What makes you think he is lying?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Gets up and walks up and down] I can't bear to think + that a living person could die like that, suddenly, without any + reason at all. Don't let us talk about it!</p> +<p>KOSICH runs in panting.</p> +<p>KOSICH. Is Ivanoff at home? How do you do? [He shakes hands + quickly all round] Is he at home?</p> +<p>BORKIN. No, he isn't.</p> +<p>KOSICH. [Sits down and jumps up again] In that case I must say + goodbye; I must be going. Business, you know. I am absolutely + exhausted; run off my feet!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Where did you blow in from?</p> +<p>KOSICH. From Barabanoff's. He and I have been playing cards all + night; we have only just stopped. I have been absolutely fleeced; + that Barabanoff is a demon at cards. [In a tearful voice] Just + listen to this: I had a heart and he [He turns to BORKIN, who + jumps away from him] led a diamond, and I led a heart, and he led + another diamond. Well, he didn't take the trick. [To LEBEDIEFF] + We were playing three in clubs. I had the ace and queen, and the + ace and ten of spades--</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Stopping up his ears] Spare me, for heaven's sake, + spare me!</p> +<p>KOSICH. [To SHABELSKI] Do you understand? I had the ace and queen + of clubs, the ace and ten of spades</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Pushes him away] Go away, I don't want to listen to + you!</p> +<p>KOSICH. When suddenly misfortune overtook me. My ace of spades + took the first trick--</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Snatching up a revolver] Leave the room, or I shall + shoot!</p> +<p>KOSICH. [Waving his hands] What does this mean? Is this the + Australian bush, where no one has any interests in common? Where + there is no public spirit, and each man lives for himself alone? + However, I must be off. My time is precious. [He shakes hands + with LEBEDIEFF] Pass!</p> +<p>General laughter. KOSICH goes out. In the doorway he runs into + AVDOTIA.</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. [Shrieks] Bad luck to you, you nearly knocked me down.</p> +<p>ALL. Oh, she is always everywhere at once!</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. So this is where you all are? I have been looking for + you all over the house. Good-day to you, boys!</p> +<p>[She shakes hands with everybody.]</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. What brings you here?</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. Business, my son. [To SHABELSKI] Business connected with + your highness. She commanded me to bow. [She bows] And to inquire + after your health. She told me to say, the little birdie, that if + you did not come to see her this evening she would cry her eyes + out. Take him aside, she said, and whisper in his ear. But why + should I make a secret of her message? We are not stealing + chickens, but arranging an affair of lawful love by mutual + consent of both parties. And now, although I never drink, I shall + take a drop under these circumstances.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. So shall I. [He pours out the vodka] You must be + immortal, you old magpie! You were an old woman when I first knew + you, thirty years ago.</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. I have lost count of the years. I have buried three + husbands, and would have married a fourth if any one had wanted a + woman without a dowry. I have had eight children. [She takes up + the glass] Well, we have begun a good work, may it come to a good + end! They will live happily ever after, and we shall enjoy their + happiness. Love and good luck to them both! [She drinks] This is + strong vodka!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [laughing loudly, to LEBEDIEFF] The funny thing is, + they actually think I am in earnest. How strange! [He gets up] + And yet, Paul, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? Just + out of spite? To give the devil something to do, eh, Paul?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. You are talking nonsense, Count. You and I must fix + our thoughts on dying now; we have left Martha's money far behind + us; our day is over.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. No, I shall certainly marry her; upon my word, I + shall!</p> +<p>Enter IVANOFF and LVOFF.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Will you please spare me five minutes of your time?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Nicholas! [He goes to meet IVANOFF] How are + you, old friend? I have been waiting an hour for you.</p> +<p>AVDOTIA. [Bows] How do you do, my son?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Bitterly] So you have turned my library into a bar-room + again, have you? And yet I have begged you all a thousand times + not to do so! [He goes up to the table] There, you see, you have + spilt vodka all over my papers and scattered crumbs and cucumbers + everywhere! It is disgusting!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. I beg your pardon, Nicholas. Please forgive me. I have + something very important to speak to you about.</p> +<p>BORKIN. So have I.</p> +<p>LVOFF. May I have a word with you?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Pointing to LEBEDIEFF] He wants to speak to me; wait a + minute. [To LEBEDIEFF] Well, what is it?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [To the others] Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I + want to speak to him in private.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI goes out, followed by AVDOTIA, BORKIN, and LVOFF.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Paul, you may drink yourself as much as you choose, it + is your weakness, but I must ask you not to make my uncle tipsy. + He never used to drink at all; it is bad for him.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Startled] My dear boy, I didn't know that! I wasn't + thinking of him at all.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. If this old baby should die on my hands the blame would + be mine, not yours. Now, what do you want? [A pause.]</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. The fact is, Nicholas--I really don't know how I can + put it to make it seem less brutal--Nicholas, I am ashamed of + myself, I am blushing, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. + My dear boy, put yourself in my place; remember that I am not a + free man, I am as putty in the hands of my wife, a slave--forgive + me!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. What does this mean?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. My wife has sent me to you; do me a favour, be a + friend to me, pay her the interest on the money you owe her. + Believe me, she has been tormenting me and going for me tooth and + nail. For heaven's sake, free yourself from her clutches!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. You know, Paul, that I have no money now.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. I know, I know, but what can I do? She won't wait. If + she should sue you for the money, how could Sasha and I ever look + you in the face again?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I am ready to sink through the floor with shame, Paul, + but where, where shall I get the money? Tell me, where? There is + nothing I can do but to wait until I sell my wheat in the autumn.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Shrieks] But she won't wait! [A pause.]</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Your position is very delicate and unpleasant, but mine + is even worse. [He walks up and down in deep thought] I am at my + wit's end, there is nothing I can sell now.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. You might go to Mulbach and get some money from him; + doesn't he owe you sixty thousand roubles?</p> +<p>IVANOFF makes a despairing gesture.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas, I know you will be angry, but + you must forgive an old drunkard like me. This is between + friends; remember I am your friend. We were students together, + both Liberals; we had the same interests and ideals; we studied + together at the University of Moscow. It is our Alma Mater. [He + takes out his purse] I have a private fund here; not a soul at + home knows of its existence. Let me lend it to you. [He takes out + the money and lays it on the table] Forget your pride; this is + between friends! I should take it from you, indeed I should! [A + pause] There is the money, one hundred thousand roubles. Take + it; + go to her y ourself and say: "Take the money, Zinaida, and may + you choke on it." Only, for heaven's sake, don't let her see by + your manner that you got it from me, or she would certainly go + for me, with her old jam! [He looks intently into IVANOFF'S face] + There, there, no matter. [He quickly takes up the money and + stuffs it back into his pocket] Don't take it, I was only joking. + Forgive me! Are you hurt?</p> +<p>IVANOFF waves his hand.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Yes, the truth is-- [He sighs] This is a time of + sorrow and pain for you. A man, brother, is like a samovar; he + cannot always stand coolly on a shelf; hot coals will be dropped + into him some day, and then--fizz! The comparison is idiotic, but + it is the best I can think of. [Sighing] Misfortunes wring the + soul, and yet I am not worried about you, brother. Wheat goes + through the mill, and comes out as flour, and you will come + safely through your troubles; but I am annoyed, Nicholas, and + angry with the people around you. The whole countryside is + buzzing with gossip; where does it all start? They say you will + be soon arrested for your debts, that you are a bloodthirsty + murderer, a monster of cruelty, a robber.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. All that is nothing to me; my head is aching.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Because you think so much.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I never think.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Come, Nicholas, snap your fingers at the whole thing, + and drive over to visit us. Sasha loves and understands you. She + is a sweet, honest, lovely girl; too good to be the child of her + mother and me! Sometimes, when I look at her, I cannot believe + that such a treasure could belong to a fat old drunkard like me. + Go to her, talk to her, and let her cheer you. She is a good, + true-hearted girl.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Paul, my dear friend, please go, and leave me alone.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. I understand, I understand! [He glances at his watch] + Yes, I understand. [He kisses IVANOFF] Good-bye, I must go to the + blessing of the school now. [He goes as far as the door, then + stops] She is so clever! Sasha and I were talking about gossiping + yesterday, and she flashed out this epigram: "Father," she said, + "fire-flies shine at night so that the night-birds may make them + their prey, and good people are made to be preyed upon by gossips + and slanderers." What do you think of that? She is a genius, + another George Sand!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Stopping him as he goes out] Paul, what is the matter + with me?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. I have wanted to ask you that myself, but I must + confess I was ashamed to. I don't know, old chap. Sometimes I + think your troubles have been too heavy for you, and yet I know + you are not the kind to give in to them; you would not be + overcome by misfortune. It must be something else, Nicholas, but + what it may be I can't imagine.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I can't imagine either what the matter is, unless--and + yet no-- [A pause] Well, do you see, this is what I wanted to + say. I used to have a workman called Simon, you remember him. + Once, at threshing-time, to show the girls how strong he was, he + loaded himself with two sacks of rye, and broke his back. He died + soon after. I think I have broken my back also. First I went to + school, then to the university, then came the cares of this + estate, all my plans--I did not believe what others did; did not + marry as others did; I worked passionately, risked everything; no + one else, as you know, threw their money away to right and left + as I did. So I heaped the burdens on my back, and it broke. We + are all heroes at twenty, ready to attack anything, to do + everything, and at thirty are worn-out, useless men. How, oh, how + do you account for this weariness? However, I may be quite wrong; + go away, Paul, I am boring you.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. I know what is the matter with you, old man: you got + out of bed on the wrong side this morning.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. That is stupid, Paul, and stale. Go away!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. It is stupid, certainly. I see that myself now. I am + going at once. [LEBEDIEFF goes out.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Alone] I am a worthless, miserable, useless man. Only a + man equally miserable and suffering, as Paul is, could love or + esteem me now. Good God! How I loathe myself! How bitterly I hate + my voice, my hands, my thoughts, these clothes, each step I take! + How ridiculous it is, how disgusting! Less than a year ago I was + healthy and strong, full of pride and energy and enthusiasm. I + worked with these hands here, and my words could move the dullest + man to tears. I could weep with sorrow, and grow indignant at the + sight of wrong. I could feel the glow of inspiration, and + understand the beauty and romance of the silent nights which I + used to watch through from evening until dawn, sitting at my + worktable, and giving up my soul to dreams. I believed in a + bright future then, and looked into it as trustfully as a child + looks into its mother's eyes. And now, oh, it is terrible! I am + tired and without hope; I spend my days and nights in idleness; I + have no control over my feet or brain. My estate is ruined, my + woods are falling under the blows of the axe. [He weeps] My + neglected land looks up at me as reproachfully as an orphan. I + expect nothing, am sorry for nothing; my whole soul trembles at + the thought of each new day. And what can I think of my treatment + of Sarah? I promised her love and happiness forever; I opened her + eyes to the promise of a future such as she had never even + dreamed of. She believed me, and though for five years I have + seen her sinking under the weight of her sacrifices to me, and + losing her strength in her struggles with her conscience, God + knows she has never given me one angry look, or uttered one word + of reproach. What is the result? That I don't love her! Why? Is + it possible? Can it be true? I can't understand. She is + suffering; her days are numbered; yet I fly like a contemptible + coward from her white face, her sunken chest, her pleading eyes. + Oh, I am ashamed, ashamed! [A pause] Sasha, a young girl, is + sorry for me in my misery. She confesses to me that she loves me; + me, almost an old man! Whereupon I lose my head, and exalted as + if by music, I yell: "Hurrah for a new life and new happiness!" + Next day I believe in this new life and happiness as little as I + believe in my happiness at home. What is the matter with me? What + is this pit I am wallowing in? What is the cause of this + weakness? What does this nervousness come from? If my sick wife + wounds my pride, if a servant makes a mistake, if my gun misses + fire, I lose my temper and get violent and altogether unlike + myself. I can't, I can't understand it; the easiest way out would + be a bullet through the head!</p> +<p>Enter LVOFF.</p> +<p>LVOFF. I must have an explanation with you, Ivanoff.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. If we are going to have an explanation every day, + doctor, we shall neither of us have the strength to stand it.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Will you be good enough to hear me?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I have heard all you have told me every day, and have + failed to discover yet what you want me to do.</p> +<p>LVOFF. I have always spoken plainly enough, and only an utterly + heartless and cruel man could fail to understand me.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I know that my wife is dying; I know that I have sinned + irreparably; I know that you are an honest man. What more can you + tell me?</p> +<p>LVOFF. The sight of human cruelty maddens me. The woman is dying + and she has a mother and father whom she loves, and longs to see + once more before she dies. They know that she is dying and that + she loves them still, but with diabolical cruelty, as if to + flaunt their religious zeal, they refuse to see her and forgive + her. You are the man for whom she has sacrificed her home, her + peace of mind, everything. Yet you unblushingly go gadding to the + Lebedieffs' every evening, for reasons that are absolutely + unmistakable!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Ah me, it is two weeks since I was there!</p> +<p>LVOFF. [Not listening to him] To men like yourself one must speak + plainly, and if you don't want to hear what I have to say, you + need not listen. I always call a spade a spade; the truth is, you + want her to die so that the way may be cleared for your other + schemes. Be it so; but can't you wait? If, instead of crushing + the life out of your wife by your heartless egoism, you let her + die naturally, do you think you would lose Sasha and Sasha's + money? Such an absolute Tartuffe as you are could turn the girl's + head and get her money a year from now as easily as you can + to-day. Why are you in such a hurry? Why do you want your wife to + die now, instead of in a month's time, or a year's?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. This is torture! You are a very bad doctor if you think + a man can control himself forever. It is all I can do not to + answer your insults.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Look here, whom are you trying to deceive? Throw off this + disguise!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. You who are so clever, you think that nothing in the + world is easier than to understand me, do you? I married Annie + for her money, did I? And when her parents wouldn't give it to + me, I changed my plans, and am now hustling her out of the world + so that I may marry another woman, who will bring me what I want? + You think so, do you? Oh, how easy and simple it all is! But you + are mistaken, doctor; in each one of us there are too many + springs, too many wheels and cogs for us to judge each other by + first impressions or by two or three external indications. I can + not understand you, you cannot understand me, and neither of us + can understand himself. A man may be a splendid doctor, and at + the same time a very bad judge of human nature; you will admit + that, unless you are too self-confident.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Do you really think that your character is so mysterious, + and that I am too stupid to tell vice from virtue?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. It is clear that we shall never agree, so let me beg you + to answer me now without any more preamble: exactly what do you + want me to do? [Angrily] What are you after anyway? And with whom + have I the honour of speaking? With my lawyer, or with my wife's + doctor?</p> +<p>LVOFF. I am a doctor, and as such I demand that you change your + conduct toward your wife; it is killing her.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. What shall I do? Tell me! If you understand me so much + better than I understand myself, for heaven's sake tell me + exactly what to do!</p> +<p>LVOFF. In the first place, don't be so unguarded in your + behaviour.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Heaven help me, do you mean to say that you understand + yourself? [He drinks some water] Now go away; I am guilty a + thousand times over; I shall answer for my sins before God; but + nothing has given you the right to torture me daily as you do.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Who has given you the right to insult my sense of honour? + You have maddened and poisoned my soul. Before I came to this + place I knew that stupid, crazy, deluded people existed, but I + never imagined that any one could be so criminal as to turn his + mind deliberately in the direction of wickedness. I loved and + esteemed humanity then, but since I have known you--</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I have heard all that before.</p> +<p>LVOFF. You have, have you?</p> +<p>He goes out, shrugging his shoulders. He sees SASHA, who comes in + at this moment dressed for riding.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Now, however, I hope that we can understand one another!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Startled] Oh, Sasha, is that you?</p> +<p>SASHA. Yes, it is I. How are you? You didn't expect me, did you? + Why haven't you been to see us?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Sasha, this is really imprudent of you! Your coming will + have a terrible effect on my wife!</p> +<p>SASHA. She won't see me; I came in by the back entrance; I shall + go in a minute. I am so anxious about you. Tell me, are you well? + Why haven't you been to see us for such a long time?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. My wife is offended already, and almost dying, and now + you come here; Sasha, Sasha, this is thoughtless and unkind of + you.</p> +<p>SASHA. How could I help coming? It is two weeks since you were at + our house, and you have not answered my letters. I imagined you + suffering dreadfully, or ill, or dead. I have not slept for + nights. I am going now, but first tell me that you are well.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. No, I am not well. I am a torment to myself, and every + one torments me without end. I can't stand it! And now you come + here. How morbid and unnatural it all is, Sasha. I am terribly + guilty.</p> +<p>SASHA. What dreadful, pitiful speeches you make! So you are + guilty, are you? Tell me, then, what is it you have done?</p> +<p>IVANOFF I don't know; I don't know!</p> +<p>SASHA. That is no answer. Every sinner should know what he is + guilty of. Perhaps you have been forging money?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. That is stupid.</p> +<p>SASHA. Or are you guilty because you no longer love your wife? + Perhaps you are, but no one is master of his feelings, and you + did not mean to stop loving her. Do you feel guilty because she + saw me telling you that I love you? No, that cannot be, because + you did not want her to see it--</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Interrupting her] And so on, and so on! First you say I + love, and then you say I don't; that I am not master of my + feelings. All these are commonplace, worn-out sentiments, with + which you cannot help me.</p> +<p>SASHA. It is impossible to talk to you. [She looks at a picture + on the wall] How well those dogs are drawn! Were they done from + life?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Yes, from life. And this whole romance of ours is a + tedious old story; a man loses heart and begins to go down in the + world; a girl appears, brave and strong of heart, and gives him a + hand to help him to rise again. Such situations are pretty, but + they are only found in novels and not in real life.</p> +<p>SASHA. No, they are found in real life too.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Now I see how well you understand real life! My + sufferings seem noble to you; you imagine you have discovered in + me a second Hamlet; but my state of mind in all its phases is + only fit to furnish food for contempt and derision. My + contortions are ridiculous enough to make any one die of + laughter, and you want to play the guardian angel; you want to do + a noble deed and save me. Oh, how I hate myself to-day! I feel + that this tension must soon be relieved in some way. Either I + shall break something, or else--</p> +<p>SASHA. That is exactly what you need. Let yourself go! Smash + something; break it to pieces; give a yell! You are angry with + me, it was foolish of me to come here. Very well, then, get + excited about it; storm at me; stamp your feet! Well, aren't you + getting angry?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. You ridiculous girl!</p> +<p>SASHA. Splendid! So we are smiling at last! Be kind, do me the + favour of smiling once more!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Laughing] I have noticed that whenever you start + reforming me and saving my soul, and teaching me how to be good, + your face grows naive, oh so naive, and your eyes grow as wide as + if you were looking at a comet. Wait a moment; your shoulder is + covered with dust. [He brushes her shoulder] A naive man is + nothing better than a fool, but you women contrive to be naive in + such a way that in you it seems sweet, and gentle, and proper, + and not as silly as it really is. What a strange way you have, + though, of ignoring a man as long as he is well and happy, and + fastening yourselves to him as soon as he begins to whine and go + down-hill! Do you actually think it is worse to be the wife of a + strong man than to nurse some whimpering invalid?</p> +<p>SASHA. Yes, it is worse.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Why do you think so? [Laughing loudly] It is a good + thing Darwin can't hear what you are saying! He would be furious + with you for degrading the human race. Soon, thanks to your + kindness, only invalids and hypochondriacs will be born into the + world.</p> +<p>SASHA. There are a great many things a man cannot understand. Any + girl would rather love an unfortunate man than a fortunate one, + because every girl would like to do something by loving. A man + has his work to do, and so for him love is kept in the + background. To talk to his wife, to walk with her in the garden, + to pass the time pleasantly with her, that is all that love means + to a man. But for us, love means life. I love you; that means + that I dream only of how I shall cure you of your sadness, how I + shall go with you to the ends of the earth. If you are in heaven, + I am in heaven; if you are in the pit, I am in the pit. For + instance, it would be the greatest happiness for me to write all + night for you, or to watch all night that no one should wake you. + I remember that three years ago, at threshing time, you came to + us all dusty and sunburnt and tired, and asked for a drink. When + I brought you a glass of water you were already lying on the sofa + and sleeping like a dead man. You slept there for half a day, and + all that time I watched by the door that no one should disturb + you. How happy I was! The more a girl can do, the greater her + love will be; that is, + I mean, the more she feels it</p> +<p>IVANOFF. The love that accomplishes things--hm--that is a fairy + tale, a girl's dream; and yet, perhaps it is as it should be. [He + shrugs his shoulders] How can I tell? [Gaily] On my honour, + Sasha, I really am quite a respectable man. Judge for yourself: I + have always liked to discuss things, but I have never in my life + said that our women were corrupt, or that such and such a woman + was on the down-hill path. I have always been grateful, and + nothing more. No, nothing more. Dear child, how comical you are! + And what a ridiculous old stupid I am! I shock all good Christian + folk, and go about complaining from morning to night. [He laughs + and then leaves her suddenly] But you must go, Sasha; we have + forgotten ourselves.</p> +<p>SASHA. Yes, it is time to go. Good-bye. I am afraid that that + honest doctor of yours will have told Anna out of a sense of duty + that I am here. Take my advice: go at once to your wife and stay + with her. Stay, and stay, and stay, and if it should be for a + year, you must still stay, or for ten years. It is your duty. You + must repent, and ask her forgiveness, and weep. That is what you + ought to do, and the great thing is not to forget to do right.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Again I feel as if I were going crazy; again!</p> +<p>SASHA. Well, heaven help you! You must forget me entirely. In two + weeks you must send me a line and I shall be content with that. + But I shall write to you--</p> +<p>BORKIN looks in at the door.</p> +<p>BORKIN. Ivanoff, may I come in? [He sees SASHA] I beg your + pardon, I did not see you. Bonjour! [He bows.]</p> +<p>SASHA. [Embarrassed] How do you do?</p> +<p>BORKIN. You are plumper and prettier than ever.</p> +<p>SASHA. [To IVANOFF] I must go, Nicholas, I must go. [She goes + out.]</p> +<p>BORKIN. What a beautiful apparition! I came expecting prose and + found poetry instead. [Sings]</p> +<p>"You showed yourself to the world as a bird---"</p> +<p>IVANOFF walks excitedly up and down.</p> +<p>BORKIN. [Sits down] There is something in her, Nicholas, that one + doesn't find in other women, isn't there? An elfin strangeness. + [He sighs] Although she is without doubt the richest girl in the + country, her mother is so stingy that no one will have her. After + her mother's death Sasha will have the whole fortune, but until + then she will only give her ten thousand roubles and an old + flat-iron, and to get that she will have to humble herself to the + ground. [He feels in his pockets] Will you have a smoke? [He + offers IVANOFF his cigarette case] These are very good.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Comes toward BORKIN stifled with rage] Leave my house + this instant, and don't you ever dare to set foot in it again! Go + this instant!</p> +<p>BORKIN gets up and drops his cigarette.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Go at once!</p> +<p>BORKIN. Nicholas, what do you mean? Why are you so angry?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Why! Where did you get those cigarettes? Where? You + think perhaps that I don't know where you take the old man every + day, and for what purpose?</p> +<p>BORKIN. [Shrugs his shoulders] What business is it of yours?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. You blackguard, you! The disgraceful rumours that you + have been spreading about me have made me disreputable in the + eyes of the whole countryside. You and I have nothing in common, + and I ask you to leave my house this instant.</p> +<p>BORKIN. I know that you are saying all this in a moment of + irritation, and so I am not angry with you. Insult me as much as + you please. [He picks up his cigarette] It is time though, to + shake off this melancholy of yours; you're not a schoolboy.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. What did I tell you? [Shuddering] Are you making fun of + me?</p> +<p>Enter ANNA.</p> +<p>BORKIN. There now, there comes Anna! I shall go.</p> +<p>IVANOFF stops near the table and stands with his head bowed.</p> +<p>ANNA. [After a pause] What did she come here for? What did she + come here for, I ask you?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Don't ask me, Annie. [A pause] I am terribly guilty. + Think of any punishment you want to inflict on me; I can stand + anything, but don't, oh, don't ask questions!</p> +<p>ANNA. [Angrily] So that is the sort of man you are? Now I + understand you, and can see how degraded, how dishonourable you + are! Do you remember that you came to me once and lied to me + about your love? I believed you, and left my mother, my father, + and my faith to follow you. Yes, you lied to me of goodness and + honour, of your noble aspirations and I believed every word---</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I have never lied to you, Annie.</p> +<p>ANNA. I have lived with you five years now, and I am tired and + ill, but I have always loved you and have never left you for a + moment. You have been my idol, and what have you done? All this + time you have been deceiving me in the most dastardly way---</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Annie, don't say what isn't so. I have made mistakes, + but I have never told a lie in my life. You dare not accuse me of + that!</p> +<p>ANNA. It is all clear to me now. You married me because you + expected my mother and father to forgive me and give you my + money; that is what you expected.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Good Lord, Annie! If I must suffer like this, I must + have the patience to bear it. [He begins to weep.]</p> +<p>ANNA. Be quiet! When you found that I wasn't bringing you any + money, you tried another game. Now I remember and understand + everything. [She begins to cry] You have never loved me or been + faithful to me--never!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Sarah! That is a lie! Say what you want, but don't + insult me with a lie!</p> +<p>ANNA. You dishonest, degraded man! You owe money to Lebedieff, + and now, to escape paying your debts, you are trying to turn the + head of his daughter and betray her as you have betrayed me. Can + you deny it?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Stifled with rage] For heaven's sake, be quiet! I can't + answer for what I may do! I am choking with rage and I--I might + insult you!</p> +<p>ANNA. I am not the only one whom you have basely deceived. You + have always blamed Borkin for all your dishonest tricks, but now + I know whose they are.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Sarah, stop at once and go away, or else I shall say + something terrible. I long to say a dreadful, cruel thing [He + shrieks] Hold your tongue, Jewess!</p> +<p>ANNA. I won't hold my tongue! You have deceived me too long for + me to be silent now.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. So you won't be quiet? [He struggles with himself] Go, + for heaven's sake!</p> +<p>ANNA. Go now, and betray Sasha!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Know then that you--are dying! The doctor told me that + you are dying.</p> +<p>ANNA. [Sits down and speaks in a low voice] When did he</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Clutches his head with both hands] Oh, how guilty I + am--how guilty! [He sobs.]</p> +<p>The curtain falls.</p> +<p>About a year passes between the third and fourth acts.</p> +<p> </p> +<h3 align="center">ACT IV</h3> +<p> </p> +<p>A sitting-room in LEBEDIEFF'S house. In the middle of the wall at the back + of the room is an arch dividing the sitting-room from the ballroom. To the right + and left are doors. Some old bronzes are placed about the room; family portraits + are hanging on the walls. Everything is arranged as if for some festivity. On + the piano lies a violin; near it stands a violoncello. During the entire act + guests, dressed as for a ball, are seen walking about in the ball-room. </p> +<p>Enter LVOFF, looking at his watch.</p> +<p>LVOFF. It is five o'clock. The ceremony must have begun. First + the priest will bless them, and then they will be led to the + church to be married. Is this how virtue and justice triumph? Not + being able to rob Sarah, he has tortured her to death; and now he + has found another victim whom he will deceive until he has robbed + her, and then he will get rid of her as he got rid of poor Sarah. + It is the same old sordid story. [A pause] He will live to a fine + old age in the seventh heaven of happiness, and will die with a + clear conscience. No, Ivanoff, it shall not be! I shall drag your + villainy to light! And when I tear off that accursed mask of + yours and show you to the world as the blackguard you are, you + shall come plunging down headfirst from your seventh heaven, into + a pit so deep that the devil himself will not be able to drag you + out of it! I am a man of honour; it is my duty to interfere in + such cases as yours, and to open the eyes of the blind. I shall + fulfil my mission, and to-morrow will find me far away from this + accursed place. [Thoughtfully] But what shall I do? To have an + explanation with Lebedieff would be a hopeless task. Shall I make + a scandal, and challenge Ivanoff to a duel? I am as excited as a + child, and have entirely lost th e power of planning anything. + What shall I do? Shall I fight a duel?</p> +<p>Enter KOSICH. He goes gaily up to LVOFF.</p> +<p>KOSICH. I declared a little slam in clubs yesterday, and made a + grand slam! Only that man Barabanoff spoilt the whole game for me + again. We were playing--well, I said "No trumps" and he said + "Pass." "Two in clubs," he passed again. I made it two in + hearts. + He said "Three in clubs," and just imagine, can you, what + happened? I declared a little slam and he never showed his ace! + If he had showed his ace, the villain, I should have declared a + grand slam in no trumps!</p> +<p>LVOFF. Excuse me, I don't play cards, and so it is impossible for + me to share your enthusiasm. When does the ceremony begin?</p> +<p>KOSICH. At once, I think. They are now bringing Zuzu to herself + again. She is bellowing like a bull; she can't bear to see the + money go.</p> +<p>LVOFF. And what about the daughter?</p> +<p>KOSICH. No, it is the money. She doesn't like this affair anyway. + He is marrying her daughter, and that means he won't pay his + debts for a long time. One can't sue one's son-in-law.</p> +<p>MARTHA, very much dressed up, struts across the stage past LVOFF + and KOSICH. The latter bursts out laughing behind his hand. + MARTHA looks around.</p> +<p>MARTHA. Idiot!</p> +<p>KOSICH digs her in the ribs and laughs loudly.</p> +<p>MARTHA. Boor!</p> +<p>KOSICH. [Laughing] The woman's head has been turned. Before she + fixed her eye on a title she was like any other woman, but there + is no coming near her now! [Angrily] A boor, indeed!</p> +<p>LVOFF. [Excitedly] Listen to me; tell me honestly, what do you + think of Ivanoff?</p> +<p>KOSICH. He's no good at all. He plays cards like a lunatic. This + is what happened last year during Lent: I, the Count, Borkin and + he, sat down to a game of cards. I led a---</p> +<p>LVOFF [Interrupting him] Is he a good man?</p> +<p>KOSICH. He? Yes, he's a good one! He and the Count are a pair of + trumps. They have keen noses for a good game. First, Ivanoff set + his heart on the Jewess, then, when his schemes failed in that + quarter, he turned his thoughts toward Zuzu's money-bags. I'll + wager you he'll ruin Zuzu in a year. He will ruin Zuzu, and the + Count will ruin Martha. They will gather up all the money they + can lay hands on, and live happily ever after! But, doctor, why + are you so pale to-day? You look like a ghost.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Oh, it's nothing. I drank a little too much yesterday.</p> +<p>Enter LEBEDIEFF with SASHA.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. We can have our talk here. [To LVOFF and KOSICH] Go + into the ball-room, you two old fogies, and talk to the girls. + Sasha and I want to talk alone here.</p> +<p>KOSICH. [Snapping his fingers enthusiastically as he goes by + SASHA] What a picture! A queen of trumps!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Go along, you old cave-dweller; go along.</p> +<p>KOSICH and LVOFF go out.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Sit down, Sasha, there-- [He sits down and looks about + him] Listen to me attentively and with proper respect. The fact + is, your mother has asked me to say this, do you understand? I am + not speaking for myself. Your mother told me to speak to you.</p> +<p>SASHA. Papa, do say it briefly!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. When you are married we mean to give you fifteen + thousand roubles. Please don't let us have any discussion about + it afterward. Wait, now! Be quiet! That is only the beginning. + The best is yet to come. We have allotted you fifteen thousand + roubles, but in consideration of the fact that Nicholas owes your + mother nine thousand, that sum will have to be deducted from the + amount we mean to give you. Very well. Now, beside that---</p> +<p>SASHA. Why do you tell me all this?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Your mother told me to.</p> +<p>SASHA. Leave me in peace! If you had any respect for yourself or + me you could not permit yourself to speak to me in this way. I + don't want your money! I have not asked for it, and never shall.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. What are you attacking me for? The two rats in Gogol's + fable sniffed first and then ran away, but you attack without + even sniffing.</p> +<p>SASHA. Leave me in peace, and do not offend my ears with your + two-penny calculations.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Losing his temper] Bah! You all, every one of you, do + all you can to make me cut my throat or kill somebody. One of you + screeches and fusses all day and counts every penny, and the + other is so clever and humane and emancipated that she cannot + understand her own father! I offend your ears, do I? Don't you + realise that before I came here to offend your ears I was being + torn to pieces over there, [He points to the door] literally + drawn and quartered? So you cannot understand? You two have + addled my brain till I am utterly at my wits' end; indeed I am! + [He goes toward the door, and stops] I don't like this business + at all; I don't like any thing about you--</p> +<p>SASHA. What is it, especially, that you don't like?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Everything, everything!</p> +<p>SASHA. What do you mean by everything?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Let me explain exactly what I mean. Everything + displeases me. As for your marriage, I simply can't abide it. [He + goes up to SASHA and speaks caressingly] Forgive me, little + Sasha, this marriage may be a wise one; it may be honest and not + misguided, nevertheless, there is something about the whole + affair that is not right; no, not right! You are not marrying as + other girls do; you are young and fresh and pure as a drop of + water, and he is a widower, battered and worn. Heaven help him. I + don't understand him at all. [He kisses his daughter] Forgive me + for saying so, Sasha, but I am sure there is something crooked + about this affair; it is making a great deal of talk. It seems + people are saying that first Sarah died, and then suddenly + Ivanoff wanted to marry you. [Quickly] But, no, I am like an old + woman; I am gossiping like a magpie. You must not listen to me or + any one, only to your own heart.</p> +<p>SASHA. Papa, I feel myself that there is something wrong about my + marriage. Something wrong, yes, wrong! Oh, if you only knew how + heavy my heart is; this is unbearable! I am frightened and + ashamed to confess this; Papa darling, you must help me, for + heaven's sake. Oh, can't you tell me what I should do?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. What is the matter, Sasha, what is it?</p> +<p>SASHA. I am so frightened, more frightened than I have ever been + before. [She glances around her] I cannot understand him now, and + I never shall. He has not smiled or looked straight into my eyes + once since we have been engaged. He is forever complaining and + apologising for something; hinting at some crime he is guilty of, + and trembling. I am so tired! There are even moments when I + think--I think--that I do not love him as I should, and when he + comes to see us, or talks to me, I get so tired! What does it + mean, dear father? I am afraid.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. My darling, my only child, do as your old father + advises you; give him up!</p> +<p>SASHA. [Frightened] Oh! How can you say that?</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Yes, do it, little Sasha! It will make a scandal, all + the tongues in the country will be wagging about it, but it is + better to live down a scandal than to ruin one's life.</p> +<p>SASHA. Don't say that, father. Oh, don't. I refuse to listen! I + must crush such gloomy thoughts. He is good and unhappy and + misunderstood. I shall love him and learn to understand him. I + shall set him on his feet again. I shall do my duty. That is + settled.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. This is not your duty, but a delusion--</p> +<p>SASHA. We have said enough. I have confessed things to you that I + have not dared to admit even to myself. Don't speak about this to + any one. Let us forget it.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. I am hopelessly puzzled, and either my mind is going + from old age or else you have all grown very clever, but I'll be + hanged if I understand this business at all.</p> +<p>Enter SHABELSKI.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Confound you all and myself, too! This is maddening!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. What do you want?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI Seriously, I must really do something horrid and + rascally, so that not only I but everybody else will be disgusted + by it. I certainly shall find something to do, upon my word I + shall! I have already told Borkin to announce that I am to be + married. [He laughs] Everybody is a scoundrel and I must be one + too!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. I am tired of you, Matthew. Look here, man you talk in + such a way that, excuse my saying so, you will soon find yourself + in a lunatic asylum!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Could a lunatic asylum possibly be worse than this + house, or any othe r? Kindly take me there at once. Please do! + Everybody is wicked and futile and worthless and stupid; I am an + object of disgust to myself, I don't believe a word I say----</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Let me give you a piece of advice, old man; fill your + mouth full of tow, light it, and blow at everybody. Or, better + still, take your hat and go home. This is a wedding, we all want + to enjoy ourselves and you are croaking like a raven. Yes, + really.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI leans on the piano and begins to sob.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Good gracious, Matthew, Count! What is it, dear + Matthew, old friend? Have I offended you? There, forgive me; I + didn't mean to hurt you. Come, drink some water.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. I don't want any water. [Raises his head.]</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. What are you crying about?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Nothing in particular; I was just crying.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Matthew, tell me the truth, what is it? What has + happened?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. I caught sight of that violoncello, and--and--I + remembered the Jewess.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. What an unfortunate moment you have chosen to remember + her. Peace be with her! But don't think of her now.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. We used to play duets together. She was a beautiful, a + glorious woman.</p> +<p>SASHA sobs.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. What, are you crying too? Stop, Sasha! Dear me, they + are both howling now, and I--and I-- Do go away; the guests will + see you!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Paul, when the sun is shining, it is gay even in a + cemetery. One can be cheerful even in old age if it is lighted by + hope; but I have nothing to hope for--not a thing!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Yes, it is rather sad for you. You have no children, + no money, no occupation. Well, but what is there to be done about + it? [To SASHA] What is the matter with you, Sasha?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Paul, give me some money. I will repay you in the next + world. I would go to Paris and see my wife's grave. I have given + away a great deal of money in my life, half my fortune indeed, + and I have a right to ask for some now. Besides, I am asking a + friend</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. [Embarrassed] My dear boy, I haven't a penny. All + right though. That is to say, I can't promise anything, but you + understand--very well, very well. [Aside] This is agony!</p> +<p>Enter MARTHA.</p> +<p>MARTHA. Where is my partner? Count, how dare you leave me alone? + You are horrid! [She taps SHABELSKI on the arm with her fan]</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. [Impatiently] Leave me alone! I can't abide you!</p> +<p>MARTHA. [Frightened] How? What?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Go away!</p> +<p>MARTHA. [Sinks into an arm-chair] Oh! Oh! Oh! [She bursts into + tears.]</p> +<p>Enter ZINAIDA crying.</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. Some one has just arrived; it must be one of the ushers. + It is time for the ceremony to begin.</p> +<p>SASHA. [Imploringly] Mother!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Well, now you are all bawling. What a quartette! Come, + come, don't let us have any more of this dampness! Matthew! + Martha! If you go on like this, I--I--shall cry too. [Bursts into + tears] Heavens!</p> +<p>ZINAIDA. If you don't need your mother any more, if you are + determined not to obey her, I shall have to do as you want, and + you have my blessing.</p> +<p>Enter IVANOFF, dressed in a long coat, with gloves on.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF This is the finishing touch! What do you want?</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Why are you here?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I beg your pardon, you must allow me to speak to Sasha + alone.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. The bridegroom must not come to see the bride before + the wedding. It is time for you to go to the church.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Paul, I implore you.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF shrugs his shoulders. LEBEDIEFF, ZINAIDA, SHABELSKI, + and MARTHA go out.</p> +<p>SASHA. [Sternly] What do you want?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I am choking with anger; I cannot speak calmly. Listen + to me; as I was dressing just now for the wedding, I looked in + the glass and saw how grey my temples were. Sasha, this must not + be! Let us end this senseless comedy before it is too late. You + are young and pure; you have all your life before you, but I---</p> +<p>SASHA. The same old story; I have heard it a thousand times and I + am tired of it. Go quickly to the church and don't keep everybody + waiting!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I shall go straight home, and you must explain to your + family somehow that there is to be no wedding. Explain it as you + please. It is time we came to our senses. I have been playing the + part of Hamlet and you have been playing the part of a noble and + devoted girl. We have kept up the farce long enough.</p> +<p>SASHA. [Losing her temper] How can you speak to me like this? I + won't have it.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. But I am speaking, and will continue to speak.</p> +<p>SASHA. What do you mean by coming to me like this? Your + melancholy has become absolutely ridiculous!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. No, this is not melancholy. It is ridiculous, is it? + Yes, I am laughing, and if it were possible for me to laugh at + myself a thousand times more bitterly I should do so and set the + whole world laughing, too, in derision. A fierce light has + suddenly broken over my soul; as I looked into the glass just + now, I laughed at myself, and nearly went mad with shame. [He + laughs] Melancholy indeed! Noble grief! Uncontrollable sorrow! It + only remains for me now to begin to write verses! Shall I mope + and complain, sadden everybody I meet, confess that my manhood + has gone forever, that I have decayed, outlived my purpose, that + I have given myself up to cowardice and am bound hand and foot by + this loathsome melancholy? Shall I confess all this when the sun + is shining so brightly and when even the ants are carrying their + little burdens in peaceful self-content? No, thanks. Can I endure + the knowledge that one will look upon me as a fraud, while + another pities me, a third lends me a helping hand, or worst of + all, a fourth listens reverently to my sighs, looks upon me as a + new Mahomet, and expects me to expound a new religion every + moment? No, thank God for the pride and conscience he has left me + still. On my way here I laughed at myself, and it seemed to me + that the flowers and birds were laughing mockingly too.</p> +<p>SASHA. This is not anger, but madness!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. You think so, do you? No, I am not mad. I see things in + their right light now, and my mind is as clear as your + conscience. We love each other, but we shall never be married. It + makes no difference how I rave and grow bitter by myself, but I + have no right to drag another down with me. My melancholy robbed + my wife of the last year of her life. Since you have been engaged + to me you have forgotten how to laugh and have aged five years. + Your father, to whom life was always simple and clear, thanks to + me, is now unable to understand anybody. Wherever I go, whether + hunting or visiting, it makes no difference, I carry depression, + dulness, and discontent along with me. Wait! Don't interrupt me! + I am bitter and harsh, I know, but I am stifled with rage. I + cannot speak otherwise. I have never lied, and I never used to + find fault with my lot, but since I have begun to complain of + everything, I find fault with it involuntarily, and against my + will. When I murmur at my fate every one who hears me is seized + with the same disgust of life and begins to grumble too. And what + a strange way I have of looking at things! Exactly as if I were + doing the world a favour by living in it. Oh, I am contemptible.</p> +<p>SASHA. Wait a moment. From what you have just said, it is obvious + that you are tired of your melancholy mood, and that the time has + come for you to begin life afresh. How splendid!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I don't see anything splendid about it. How can I lead a + new life? I am lost forever. It is time we both understood that. + A new life indeed!</p> +<p>SASHA. Nicholas, come to your senses. How can you say you are + lost? What do you mean by such cynicism? No, I won't listen to + you or talk with you. Go to the church!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I am lost!</p> +<p>SASHA. Don't talk so loud; our guests will hear you!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. If an intelligent, educated, and healthy man begins to + complain of his lot and go down-hill, there is nothing for him to + do but to go on down until he reaches the bottom--there is no + hope for him. Where could my salvation come from? How can I save + myself? I cannot drink, because it makes my head ache. I never + could write bad poetry. I cannot pray for strength and see + anything lofty in the languor of my soul. Laziness is laziness + and weakness weakness. I can find no other names for them. I am + lost, I am lost; there is no doubt of that. [Looking around] Some + one might come in; listen, Sasha, if you love me you must help + me. Renounce me this minute; quickly!</p> +<p>SASHA. Oh, Nicholas! If you only knew how you are torturing me; + what agony I have to endure for your sake! Good thoughtful + friend, judge for yourself; can I possibly solve such a problem? + Each day you put some horrible problem before me, each one more + difficult than the last. I wanted to help you with my love, but + this is martyrdom!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. And when you are my wife the problems will be harder + than ever. Understand this: it is not love that is urging you to + take this step, but the obstinacy of an honest nature. You have + undertaken to reawaken the man in me and to save me in the face + of every difficulty, and you are flattered by the hope of + achieving your object. You are willing to give up now, but you + are prevented from doing it by a feeling that is a false one. + Understand yourself!</p> +<p>SASHA. What strange, wild reasoning! How can I give you up now? How can I? + You have no mother, or sister, or friends. You are ruined; your estate has been + destroyed; every one is speaking ill of you-- </p> +<p>IVANOFF. It was foolish of me to come here; I should have done as + I wanted to--</p> +<p>Enter LEBEDIEFF.</p> +<p>SASHA. [Running to her father] Father! He has rushed over here + like a madman, and is torturing me! He insists that I should + refuse to marry him; he says he doesn't want to drag me down with + him. Tell him that I won't accept his generosity. I know what I + am doing!</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. I can't understand a word of what you are saying. What + generosity?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. This marriage is not going to take place.</p> +<p>SASHA. It is going to take place. Papa, tell him that it is going + to take place.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Wait! Wait! What objection have you to the marriage?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I have explained it all to her, but she refuses to + understand me.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Don't explain it to her, but to me, and explain it so + that I may understand. God forgive you, Nicholas, you have + brought a great deal of darkness into our lives. I feel as if I + were living in a museum; I look about me and don't understand + anything I see. This is torture. What on earth can an old man + like me do with you? Shall I challenge you to a duel?</p> +<p>IVANOFF. There is no need of a duel. All you need is a head on + your shoulders and a knowledge of the Russian language.</p> +<p>SASHA. [Walks up and down in great excitement] This is dreadful, + dreadful! Absolutely childish.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas; from your point of view what + you are doing is quite right and proper, according to the rules + of psychology, but I think this affair is a scandal and a great + misfortune. I am an old man; hear me out for the last time. This + is what I want to say to you: calm yourself; look at things + simply, as every one else does; this is a simple world. The + ceiling is white; your boots are black; sugar is sweet. You love + Sasha and she loves you. If you love her, stay with her; if you + don't, leave her. We shan't blame you. It is all perfectly + simple. You are two healthy, intelligent, moral young people; + thank God, you both have food and clothing--what more do you + want? What if you have no money? That is no great + misfortune--happiness is not bought with wealth. Of course your + estate is mortgaged, Nicholas, as I know, and you have no money + to pay the interest on the debt, but I am Sasha's father. I + understand. Her mother can do as she likes--if she won't give any + money, why, confound her, then she needn't, that's all! Sasha has + just said that she does not want her part of it. As for your + principles, Schopenhauer and all that, it is all folly. I have + one hundred thousand roubles in the bank. [Looking around him] + Not a soul in the house knows it; it was my grandmother's money. + That shall be for you both. Take it, give Matthew two thousand--</p> +<p>[The guests begin to collect in the ball-room].</p> +<p>IVANOFF. It is no use discussing it any more, I must act as my + conscience bids me.</p> +<p>SASHA. And I shall act as my conscience bids me--you may say what + you please; I refuse to let you go! I am going to call my mother.</p> +<p>LEBEDIEFF. I am utterly puzzled.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Listen to me, poor old friend. I shall not try to + explain myself to you. I shall not tell you whether I am honest + or a rascal, healthy or mad; you wouldn't understand me. I was + young once; I have been eager and sincere and intelligent. I have + loved and hated and believed as no one else has. I have worked + and hoped and tilted against windmills with the strength of + ten--not sparing my strength, not knowing what life was. I + shouldered a load that broke my back. I drank, I worked, I + excited myself, my energy knew no bounds. Tell me, could I have + done otherwise? There are so few of us and so much to do, so much + to do! And see how cruelly fate has revenged herself on me, who + fought with her so bravely! I am a broken man. I am old at + thirty. I have submitted myself to old age. With a heavy head and + a sluggish mind, weary, used up, discouraged, without faith or + love or an object in life, I wander like a shadow among other + men, not knowing why I am alive or what it is that I want. Love + seems to me to be folly, caresses false. I see no sense in + working or playing, and all passionate speeches seem insipid and + tiresome. So I carry my sadness with me wherever I go; a cold + weariness, a discontent, a horror of life. Yes, I am lost for + ever and ever. Before you stands a man who at thirty-five is + disillusioned, wearied by fruitless efforts, burning with shame, + and mocking at his own weakness. Oh, how my pride rebels against + it all! What mad fury chokes me! [He staggers] I am + staggering--my strength is failing me. Where is Matthew? Let him + take me home.</p> +<p>[Voices from the ball-room] The best man has arrived!</p> +<p>Enter SHABELSKI.</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. In an old worn-out coat--without gloves! How many + scornful glances I get for it! Such silly jokes and vulgar grins! + Disgusting people.</p> +<p>Enter BORKIN quickly. He is carrying a bunch of flowers and is in + a dress-coat. He wears a flower in his buttonhole.</p> +<p>BORKIN. This is dreadful! Where is he? [To IVANOFF] They have + been waiting for you for a long time in the church, and here you + are talking philosophy! What a funny chap you are. Don't you know + you must not go to church with the bride, but alone, with me? I + shall then come back for her. Is it possible you have not + understood that? You certainly are an extraordinary man!</p> +<p>Enter LVOFF.</p> +<p>LVOFF. [To IVANOFF] Ah! So you are here? [Loudly] Nicholas + Ivanoff, I denounce you to the world as a scoundrel!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Coldly] Many thanks!</p> +<p>BORKIN. [To LVOFF] Sir, this is dastardly! I challenge you to a + duel!</p> +<p>LVOFF. Monsieur Borkin, I count it a disgrace not only to fight + with you, but even to talk to you! Monsieur Ivanoff, however, can + receive satisfaction from me whenever he chooses!</p> +<p>SHABELSKI. Sir, I shall fight you!</p> +<p>SASHA. [To LVOFF] Why, oh why, have you insulted him? Gentlemen, + I beg you, let him tell me why he has insulted him.</p> +<p>LVOFF. Miss Sasha, I have not insulted him without cause. I came + here as a man of honour, to open your eyes, and I beg you to + listen to what I have to tell you.</p> +<p>SASHA. What can you possibly have to tell me? That you are a man + of honour? The whole world knows it. You had better tell me on + your honour whether you understand what you have done or not. You + have come in here as a man of honour and have insulted him so + terribly that you have nearly killed me. When you used to follow + him like a shadow and almost keep him from living, you were + convinced that you were doing your duty and that you were acting + like a man of honour. When you interfered in his private affairs, + maligned him and criticised him; when you sent me and whomever + else you could, anonymous letters, you imagined yourself to be an + honourable man! And, thinking that that too was honourable, you, + a doctor, did not even spare his dying wife or give her a + moment's peace from your suspicions. And no matter what violence, + what cruel wrong you committed, you still imagined yourself to be + an unusually honourable and clear-sighted man.</p> +<p>IVANOFF. [Laughing] This is not a wedding, but a parliament! + Bravo! Bravo!</p> +<p>SASHA. [To LVOFF] Now, think it over! Do you see what sort of a + man you are, or not? Oh, + the stupid, heartless people! [Takes IVANOFF by the hand] Come + away from here Nicholas! Come, father, let us go!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Where shall we go? Wait a moment. I shall soon put an + end to the whole thing. My youth is awake in me again; the former + Ivanoff is here once more.</p> +<p>[He takes out a revolver.]</p> +<p>SASHA. [Shrieking] I know what he wants to do! Nicholas, for + God's sake!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. I have been slipping down-hill long enough. Now, halt! + It is time to know what honour is. Out of the way! Thank you, + Sasha!</p> +<p>SASHA. [Shrieking] Nicholas! For God's sake hold him!</p> +<p>IVANOFF. Let go! [He rushes aside, and shoots himself.]</p> +<p>The curtain falls.</p> +<p> </p> + +<BR> +<BR> +<BR> +<BR> +<PRE> +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, IVANOFF *** + +This file should be named vanof10h.htm or vanof10h.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, vanof11h.htm +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, vanof10ah.htm + + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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