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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of When I Grow Up, by Richard E. Lowe
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: When I Grow Up
+
+Author: Richard E. Lowe
+
+Release Date: May 24, 2009 [EBook #28953]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHEN I GROW UP ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
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+
+
+
+
+    _A good many science fiction writers seem determined to depict
+    children as little monsters. Not all children perhaps, and not with
+    completely merciless regularity. But often enough to make us
+    shudder. Only Richard Lowe remains independent. The youngster of
+    this story isn't a child monster at all. He's just--a "destructor."
+    And that in itself is somehow unimaginably terrifying!_
+
+
+ when
+    i
+ grow
+   up
+
+ _by ... Richard E. Lowe_
+
+
+ The two professors couldn't agree on the fundamentals of
+ child behavior. But that was before they met little Herbux!
+
+
+The University sprawled casually, unashamed of its disordered ranks,
+over a hundred thousand acres of grassy, rolling countryside. It was the
+year A.D. 3896, and the vast assemblage of schools and colleges and
+laboratories had been growing on this site for more than two thousand
+years.
+
+It had survived political and industrial revolutions, local
+insurrections, global, inter-terrestrial and nuclear wars, and it had
+become the acknowledged center of learning for the entire known
+universe.
+
+No subject was too small to escape attention at the University. None was
+too large to be attacked by the fearless, probing fingers of curiosity,
+or to in any way over-awe students and teachers in this great
+institution of learning.
+
+No book was ever closed in the University and no clue, however tiny, was
+discarded as useless in the ceaseless search for knowledge which was the
+University's prime and overriding goal.
+
+For no matter how fast and far the spaceships might fly, or what strange
+creatures might be brought back across the great curve of the universe
+or how deeply the past was resurrected or the future probed, of one
+thing only was the University quite sure--_man did not know enough_.
+
+All manner of schools had come into being at the University, and often
+they functioned in pairs, one devoted to proving a proposition, and the
+other to disproving it. And among these pairs of schools two, in
+particular, seemed to exist on a most tenuous basis. Their avowed
+mission was to settle the age-old argument concerning the relative
+influences of heredity and environment.
+
+One, headed by Professor Miltcheck von Possenfeller, worked tirelessly
+to prove that there was no such determining factor as heredity, and that
+environment alone was the governing influence in human behavior.
+
+The other, under the direction of Dr. Arthur D. Smithlawn, was dedicated
+to the task of proving that environment meant nothing, and that only
+heredity was important.
+
+Success, in short, could only come to those who were born with the genes
+of success in their bodies, and failure was as preordained for the rest
+as was ultimate death for all.
+
+Over a period of more than two hundred years the School of Environment
+had been taking babies from among the thousands of homeless waifs
+gathered in throughout the universe, and raising them carefully in a
+closely supervised, cultural atmosphere.
+
+The School of Heredity, on the other hand, was more select. Its pupils
+came only from families whose genealogy could be traced back for at
+least a thousand years. Freedom of choice and expression was the rule
+here, since the school was attempting to prove that a child's inherited
+tendencies will send it inevitably along a predetermined path,
+completely uninfluenced by outside help or hindrance.
+
+In two centuries neither school had been able to develop an overpowering
+case in support of its own theory. Hence they both thrived, and
+cheerfully ignored the discrepancies which existed in the case records
+of individuals who had not turned out according to the book.
+
+Although they were zealous professional rivals, Prof. von Possenfeller
+and Dr. Smithlawn were devoted personal friends. They called each other
+Possy and Smithy and got together once a week to play chess and exchange
+views on the universe in general. Only one subject was taboo between
+them--their experimental work.
+
+On this particular Saturday night, however, Smithy noticed that his good
+friend Possy was terribly agitated and disturbed, and had for the third
+time carelessly put his queen in jeopardy.
+
+"My dear friend," exclaimed Possy, blindly moving his king into check.
+"Could you possibly be persuaded to ignore for the moment our ban on
+professional talk? There is something--"
+
+Smithy, secretly, was only too anxious to talk at great length. But he
+pretended to give the request serious consideration.
+
+"If it is really important," he said. "Yes, by all means. Go right
+ahead."
+
+"Smithy," Possy plunged on, "I am nonplussed. I am really, terribly
+disturbed. I've never felt like this before."
+
+Smithy waited patiently while Possy poured himself a large brandy and
+soda, hastily gulped it down, and made a face as he regretted the
+action.
+
+"How much do you know about our methods of working in the School of
+Environment?" the professor asked, taking a new tack.
+
+"Nothing, of course," replied Smithy. The statement was not precisely
+true, but Smithy was not yet ready to confess that he had spies in his
+friend's school.
+
+"Well, then," said Possy, knowing full well that Smithy had been getting
+reports on his college for many years, and feeling secretly glad that
+he, in turn, had been spying.
+
+"Well, then," he repeated, "you should be aware that we know _absolutely
+nothing_ about the children we enroll. Most of them are infants. We do
+not know who their parents were, or where they were born. Except for the
+obvious clues which their bodies furnish, we do not even know their
+national or racial origins.
+
+"We bring them up with absolutely equal treatment--the finest of
+everything. At the age of five we divide them arbitrarily into classes
+and begin training them for occupations. Some we educate as scholars,
+some laborers, some professional men. In me, dear friend, you see one of
+the triumphs of our methods. I myself was a foundling--raised and
+educated in the School of Environment. Whatever I may be, I owe to the
+School."
+
+He paused to give Smithy a chance to digest the statement.
+
+"Of course," Possy continued, "we take into consideration such factors
+as physical build and muscular development. We don't train undersized
+boys to be freight handlers. But in general the division is arbitrary.
+And you'd be amazed how they respond to it. To keep a check on things,
+we interview our students twice a year to see how much they have
+learned.
+
+"We always ask them what they want to be when they grow up. That enables
+us to determine whether or not the training is really taking hold.
+Occasionally, it is true, we find a case where the schooling seems to
+run counter to natural aptitudes--"
+
+Smithy could not resist interrupting. "Natural aptitudes? I am surprised
+to hear you use such an expression. I thought you furnished your
+students with aptitudes through environmental conditioning."
+
+Stiffly, Possy retorted, "Sometime we will have a full, objective
+discussion of the matter. It is not pertinent at this moment. Of course
+I believe in natural, or instinctive aptitudes. But I do not believe
+that they are inherited from parents or even from remote ancestors."
+
+"Cosmic rays, perhaps," needled Smithy, and became instantly sorry when
+his friend's face began to redden. Possy didn't believe in cosmic rays,
+obviously. Smithy apologized.
+
+Possy sighed deeply and made a fresh start. "My friend," he said, "in
+your work, as I understand it, you learn everything you can about a
+student's past--and about his progenitors. By so doing you hope to be
+able to predict his future abilities, his likes and dislikes. But what
+course do you pursue when you find a boy who just doesn't prove out
+according to the prognostications?"
+
+Smithy mumbled a few evasive words in reply, but refused to be drawn
+into giving a positive answer.
+
+"Never mind," Possy said. "What would you say if you asked a boy what he
+liked, or what he wanted to do and his answer concerned something that
+never existed, or had never been dreamed of? Something horrible."
+
+Smithy's eyebrows perked up. He made no attempt to conceal the fact that
+his interest had been aroused.
+
+"What, precisely, do you mean?" he demanded.
+
+"Just this," Possy said, leaning forward to give emphasis to his words.
+"We have a boy who is being trained as a space navigator. He is very
+bright. He is of medium build, as a spaceman must be, and he learns
+easily and willingly. We are sure now that he will be ready for
+pre-space school two years before he reaches the minimum age. Yet,
+whenever this boy is asked what he wants to do, he replies, 'I want to
+be a Destructor.'"
+
+Smithy's lips parted. But for a moment he remained completely silent
+while his mind stumbled over the strange term.
+
+"Destructor?" he repeated, at last.
+
+"Wait," said Possy, "and listen carefully. This boy is now ten years
+old. He first gave me that answer three days ago. He repeated it two
+days ago, then yesterday and again today. I had never interviewed him
+before. I never interview a student personally until the tenth year--so
+I quite naturally had his files double-checked. Smithy, he's been giving
+the same answer ever since he was five years old. Two interviews a year
+for six years--and three extra ones this week! Imagine! Fifteen times
+this boy has said he wants to be a Destructor--and no one even knows
+what a Destructor is."
+
+"Well," Smithy said with a shrug, convinced that Possy was getting all
+excited over nothing, "I admit it seems strange--and highly
+single-minded for so young a boy. But don't you imagine it's some word
+he just made up?"
+
+"I admitted that as a possibility until this morning. But look here."
+
+Possy reached behind his chair and took up a small leather bag. Slowly
+he unzipped it and delved inside. Then, with a grim flourish, he brought
+forth the body of a cat.
+
+As Smithy's eyes widened, Possy said dramatically: "Smithy, that boy
+killed this cat with a _glance_."
+
+"With a--a what?"
+
+"A glance! You heard me correctly. He just looked at the cat, and the
+beast dropped dead. And he did it to other things, too--a sparrow, a
+baby fox. Why, he even did it to a rat that had been cornered by this
+very cat.
+
+"I tell you, I had never been so shaken by anything in all my life. I
+said to myself, 'Possy, have you got yourself a mutant?' 'No,' I
+replied. 'He's completely normal in every respect, physically and
+otherwise. He's a bit brighter than average, perhaps--ninety-eight six
+in his studies, including elementary astrophysics. He speaks
+brilliantly, composes poetry, even invents little gadgets. He's a
+genius, maybe, but not a mutant.' Then I asked myself, 'how do you
+account for the cat?'"
+
+Possy paused, inferentially transferring the question to his friend.
+
+"I can't account for the cat," Smithy said. "Unless we assume its death
+was a coincidence. But I confess you've aroused my curiosity. Could I
+see and talk to this boy who wants to be a--" he grimaced--"a
+Destructor?"
+
+"I'm glad you asked." Possy sighed with relief. "Actually he is outside
+now, waiting to join us. But I must warn you that you'll find him quite
+precocious. However, he's extremely amenable."
+
+Possy went quickly to the door, opened it and called, "Herbux, come in."
+
+The boy entered. He was, Smithy observed, a quite ordinary-looking boy.
+He was so obviously ten years old that you couldn't say he was either
+old or young, large or small, fat or thin or anything else, "for his
+age." He was just ten years old and a boy.
+
+"Herbux," said Possy, "I want you to meet a friend of mine--the famous
+Dr. Smithlawn."
+
+"How do you do, sir," Herbux said politely.
+
+"How do _you_ do," returned Smithy. He had already decided not to be
+patronizing, but to take a bold, frank, comradely course with the lad.
+
+"Herbux," he said, "Professor von Possenfeller has been telling me the
+story of your life. Now you tell me, Herbux. Not _what_ you want to be
+when you grow up, but _why_."
+
+"I don't know why, sir," Herbux replied easily. "I only know that I want
+to be a Destructor."
+
+"But, Herbux, what _is_ a Destructor?"
+
+Herbux looked around the room. He saw Smithy's birdcage, walked over to
+it and stared for a moment quietly at Dicky, the doctor's parakeet.
+
+Dicky looked back, chirped angrily twice and toppled from his perch. He
+landed on his back, his tiny feet rigid and unmoving. He was quite dead,
+Smithy observed, with a sudden, detached, unbelieving horror. Why, Dicky
+was seven years old and he had been as good a pet as any lonely old
+professor could have desired as a cheery avian companion.
+
+"Look here, young man," he began sternly. Then, as the shock passed, he
+hastily changed his tone. Suppose this child _did_ have some strange
+sort of power--mystic perhaps, but definitely abnormal. He may belong in
+the School of the Future, Smithy thought. Or perhaps in the School of
+the Past--the Dark Ages Department. But not here!
+
+"Don't worry, sir," Herbux said. "I can't do it to you."
+
+"But--do _what_?" Smithy cried. "What did you do?"
+
+"I destructed."
+
+Smithy took a deep breath. He felt as though a cruel hoax had been
+played on him. After all, Possy could have lied about the cat and the
+other creatures. And the boy was quite obviously bright enough to learn
+lines and play a part. But how explain Dicky?
+
+He tried to calculate the coincidental odds that might have caused Dicky
+to die a natural death at one precise instant in time under unusual and
+exact circumstances. They proved to be incalculable to his
+unmathematical brain. He rubbed his face with the palms of both hands.
+Then he turned abruptly to Possy.
+
+"I just don't know what to say about it," he explained. "How _could_ I
+know? How could anybody know?"
+
+He faced the boy again. "Look here, Herbux. This--this power of yours.
+When did you first notice you had it?"
+
+"Last year, sir. I always knew I would do it sometime. But one day I was
+looking at a bird perched on my windowsill, and it fell over dead, just
+as your parakeet did. I thought it was an accident or a coincidence. But
+then the next day it happened again--with a squirrel. Soon I got to
+where I could do it on purpose. But I don't know how."
+
+"Well, how do you _feel_ about it? Do you _want_ to kill these harmless
+pets?"
+
+"Oh, no, sir. I don't want to _kill_ them. I just want to be a
+Destructor."
+
+Smithy had a sudden, disquieting conviction that he was in the presence
+of some completely alien, dangerous being. A cold breeze seemed to
+shiver through the room, though he knew that his quarters were airtight
+and perfectly ventilated. _This is ridiculous_, he told himself,
+turning to Possy with a helpless shrug. To feel like this over such a
+nice-looking young lad ...
+
+"My friend," he said, "all this has occurred so suddenly I must have
+time to think. Such a thing could never have happened in _my_ school.
+Perhaps you should--but doubtless it has already occurred to you--turn
+him over to physio-psychological rebuilding?"
+
+Possy nodded. "It has, of course. But then I said to myself, 'Possy,
+they are a bunch of dunderheaded old fossils over there. They can take a
+criminal and tear him apart and make a good citizen out of him, granted.
+But do they find out _why_ he was a criminal? Have they reduced the
+number of new criminals? No. And they would not find out why this boy
+wants to be a Destructor--nor even what a Destructor is.'
+
+"'You're right,' I told myself. 'And besides, Herbux is a nice boy. Why,
+with this power of his--if he _wanted_ to do harm--there wouldn't be an
+animal left alive around the whole University. And if he could do it to
+people he's had many an opportunity to practice on me. But has he? No,
+not once. Besides, if you keep him in school, you can maintain a good
+close watch over him. Herbux has promised to keep me fully informed as
+to the progress of his strange power. If he feels it getting stronger,
+he will let me know immediately.' Isn't that right, Herbux?"
+
+"Yes, sir," said the boy quietly.
+
+"You are quite sure," Smithy asked, "that you know absolutely nothing
+about this boy's past? His parents, his birthplace--anything at all?
+There must be _some_ clue."
+
+"You know very well I don't," Possy retorted angrily.
+
+"I just thought that perhaps you might have subjected him to
+hypno-research," Smithy said, placatingly.
+
+"I wouldn't dream of such a thing--" Possy began--and stopped with a
+gasp. "How did you know about that?" he demanded.
+
+Smithy was flustered. "I--well, that is--" He could think of no
+convincing answer. Hypno-research was one of Possy's most secret
+projects. He had used it constantly in his efforts to determine reasons
+for non-conformity to set patterns of behavior in some of his more
+recalcitrant students. He had kept it a secret because it added up to an
+admission that perhaps heredity could play a part in the development of
+a student's character.
+
+"Smithy, my dear old friend," he said with mock humility. "This is no
+time for us to quarrel. Let us face the facts candidly. You have been
+spying on my school--and I in turn have been spying on yours. I know,
+for instance, that when your students don't behave the way their
+heredity charts predict you often use hypno-therapy to change their
+thought-lines, and force them to conform. Is that any less fair than
+what I do?"
+
+Smithy sighed. "I guess not, my friend. No, wait. I will go farther than
+that. It is not a matter of guessing. I am quite certain about it. We
+are a couple of aging frauds, struggling selfishly along, playing with
+the lives of these children solely to keep our jobs. Perhaps we
+should--"
+
+"Nevertheless, we have a problem," interrupted Possy. "It's a problem
+that won't be solved by our becoming senile idiots. Get your mind back
+on Herbux, and help me. I feel this is a most desperate situation. If it
+gets beyond just the two of us, we are likely to be thoroughly
+investigated. Then goodness knows what would happen."
+
+"But why? The child can do no real harm. Suppose he does 'destruct' an
+animal or two? There are plenty more. And sooner or later they would die
+of natural causes, anyway. And it's unthinkable that he could ever do it
+to--to people ..."
+
+Smithy paused, obviously struck by a startling thought. He turned to
+Herbux. "Boy," he said, quite sternly. "Come here."
+
+Herbux obeyed, advancing to within a foot of the old doctor and facing
+him squarely.
+
+"Look me in the eyes," Smithy commanded.
+
+Questioningly, Herbux began to stare at Smithy.
+
+"Well," Smithy said, after a time, "turn it on."
+
+A set look came over Herbux's face. His lips were compressed and a thin
+dew of sweat had broken out on his forehead.
+
+Possy stood aghast, slowly comprehending what his old friend Smithy was
+doing. He was actually risking his life--or so he believed--to prove
+that the child could not destruct a human being. He wanted to stop the
+boy, but he could not move from where he stood.
+
+Suddenly Herbux broke and turned away. He began to sob.
+
+"It's no use!" he cried. "I can't do it. I just can't do it ..."
+
+Smithy went to him and put an arm on his shoulders.
+
+"Tell me, boy," he exclaimed. "What do you mean? Do you mean that you
+can't _bring yourself_ to do it, or that it is physically impossible?"
+
+Herbux just stood there, his head bowed, crying wildly.
+
+"I just can't do it," he repeated, sounding now completely heart-broken.
+
+Possy, coming alive again, said soothingly, "Don't cry, son. It's not
+bad. It's good, that you can't do it."
+
+Herbux whirled around, facing Possy, his face inflamed with a sudden
+rage.
+
+"But I will," he screamed, "I will do it! I will! _When I grow up!_"
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note:
+
+    This etext was produced from _Fantastic Universe_ September 1956.
+    Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S.
+    copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and
+    typographical errors have been corrected without note.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of When I Grow Up, by Richard E. Lowe
+
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